Podcasts about obligers

Self-Awareness is the Key to Habit TransformationGretchen Rubin emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in understanding our behaviors and motivations, particularly when it comes to habit formation and goal achievement. She explains the Four Tendencies as:Upholders - meet both outer and inner expectationsQuestioners - question all expectations and will only meet them if they make sense Obligers - readily meet outer expectations but struggle with inner expectationsRebels - who resist all expectations, whether they are external or internalThis episode is jam-packed with tips and insight!

If you've ever wondered how you can better motivate yourself, this episode about The Four Tendencies is for you! Sammie and Michelle are big fans of The Four Tendencies.  Sammie is an Upholder and is the go to person to get things done, for herself and for anyone in her life. Michelle is a Rebel. She does not like to be told what to do, whether that's from the outside or even listening to herself. They also cover Questioners (needing to know the why) and Obligers (better at meeting outer expectations) in this episode. Sammie and Michelle found that understanding their tendency was a huge key in unlocking their own success.  Take Gretchen Rubin's The Four Tendencies Quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

In this episode of The Grit Show, Shawna Rodrigues uncovers the secrets behind why we succeed—or fail—to meet expectations. Featuring Gretchen Rubin's acclaimed personality framework, Shawna touches on the characteristics of Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels - focusing on Upholders and Questioners to open this conversation. She shares intriguing personal experiences, like how her questioning nature affects her work and offers examples of the Upholders in her life, such as her partner, responding to clear expectations. Perfect for anyone seeking to understand their own behavior, improve their relationships, and better understand what it takes to motivate ourselves and others - this episode is packed with eye-opening insights. Join us for a thought-provoking exploration into the way we handle life's demands and how understanding our tendencies can empower us.Make sure you are following or subscribed to this podcast to hear the conclusion of this conversation and more on Rebels and Obligers.Take Gretchen Rubin's quiz on the Four TendenciesOther episodes referenced: Delay Don't Deny & Fast Feast Repeat with NYT Bestselling Author Gin Stephens -31Send Shawna an email with your questions and thoughts for the next episode: connect@thegritshow.comShawna Rodrigues left her award-winning career in the public sector in 2019 and after launching The Grit Show, soon learned the abysmal fact that women hosted only 27% of podcasts. This led to the founding of the Authentic Connections Podcast Network intent on raising that number by 10% in five years- 37 by 27. Because really, shouldn't it be closer to 50%? She is the Director of Impact for the network, which offers full-service support for podcasting from mentoring to production. In September 2023 they are also launching the EPAC (Entrepreneurs and Podcasters Authentically Connected) community for those in early stages and wanting a place for weekly connection. She still finds a little time for her pursuits as a best-selling author and shares the hosting of Author Express, a podcast that features the voice behind the pages of your favorite book. Find her on Instagram- @ShawnaPodcasts and learn more about the network and other happenings at https://linktr.ee/37by27.Stay Connected to The Grit ShowFollow us on Instagram: @The.Grit.ShowGrab your copy of our Self-Care Coloring Pages & as a bonus, you'll get weekly email reminders when episodes come out!https://ColoringPages.TheGritShow.comYou can also purchase the full-size gift worthy Color of Grit Adult Coloring Book here bit.ly/TGSMermaidReally love us and want to show it??Give us a review on your favorite platform and share this (or any) episode with afriend. Word of mouth builds podcasts - we appreciate your support!!...

Inspired by Gretchen Rubin's "The Four Tendencies" John & Rachael take a deeper look into Tendency Types. Gretchen's work looks into how you respond to expectations. Whilst not absolute people tend to fall into one of the following tendency types: Obligers need accountability Upholders want to know what should be done Questioners want justifications Rebels need the freedom to do something in their own way We look at how these different tendency types present for children, and how it challenges us as Parents and Carers, helping you identify your families tendency type, and giving some tips on how to approach some difficult conversations. As we describe each type we also look at the sort of things to look out for in the world of work, what this means for you as a leader, and how you can identify team members and alter your approach. If you want to take Gretchens Tendency Quiz to understand your type you can click the link here. Our Leadership Essentials: How you can increase your own self-awareness of your response to expectations How you can check your own perspective, and consider how you approach others Take the opportunity to ask more questions, rather than make statements. For more information you can visit https://gretchenrubin.com/

In her book The Four Tendencies, author and podcaster Gretchen Rubin outlines her personality framework based upon how you respond to internal and external expectations. Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels approach decluttering and organizing differently, which Rubin outlines briefly in her book Outer Order, Inner Calm. Today I dive a bit more into Rubin's four tendencies and provide some additional recommendations on how to create a personalzed decluttering plan based upon your type! Resources Mentioned (affiliate links may be included): Four Tendencies Quiz Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness by Gretchen Rubin The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How To Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubin The Minimalists' Mins Game *2 Year Pod-iversary Review Giveaway! Ends September 30!*

Gretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. We discuss happiness at length in today's conversation, but we also discuss frameworks, and I think you're going to find right off the bat that Gretchen sees things in terms of frameworks, in terms of theory. But she's also known for her ability to convey complex ideas from science, to literature, to stories from her own life, with levity and clarity. So, we bring her into this conversation and we actually bring myself in to today's conversation, and I think that will make it really come to life. She's a writer, and she's going to articulate how much she loves writing and how big of an impact writing has made on her life and how she sees the world. She's the author of many bestselling books, such as The Happiness Project, Better than Before, and The Four Tendencies, which has sold millions of copies in more than 30 languages. Her most recent book, which we reference in today's conversation, is Life in 5 Senses. She's also the host of the popular podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin and the founder of the award-winning “Happier” app, which helps people track their happiness-boosting habits. She's been interviewed by Oprah, she's spent time with Daniel Kahneman, she's walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, and her work has been reported on in a medical journal (which eventually got written up in The New Yorker). So, she's been in all kinds of interesting spaces; she's also been an answer on Jeopardy, which is a claim to fame for her. I think this conversation will give you a sense of yourself, which is what I really appreciate about it; it'll make you think about yourself and hopefully make you a little more aware of how you show up for you and for others. Gretchen had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “If we want to make our lives happier, healthier, more productive, more creative, one of the things we need to figure out is how to make habits” (6:00). “Depending on whether we meet or resist outer and inner expectations, that's what makes us an upholder, a questioner, an obliger, or a rebel” (7:50). “Upholders are people who readily meet both outer and inner expectations” (8:00). “Questioners question all expectations; they'll do something if they think it makes sense” (10:25). “Obliger is the biggest tendency, for both men and women” (16:00). “Obligers are people who readily meet outer accountability, but they struggle to meet inner accountability” (16:10). “If you want to meet an inner expectation as an obliger, you need to create a system of outer accountability” (16:25). “The way to keep a promise to yourself is to make a promise to someone else” (16:55). “Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike” (17:35). “From the practical comes the transcendent” (19:55). “My behavior follows from my identity” (22:10). “Allow rebel children to face the consequences of their actions; that is how a rebel learns” (23:20). “Sometimes these little adjustments in communication can have massive consequences in behavior” (25:05). “Once you understand the mechanism of what's going on, it's a lot easier to address it” (28:10). “For many people, there's a sense that they kind of neglect” (30:50). “Whatever you want to achieve in your life, even if they're contradictory, the five senses can help you” (35:50). “I really get tremendous satisfaction out of just being able to explore ideas in all these different ways and exercise my creativity in a lot of different ways” (40:40). “We want to accept ourselves and also expect more from ourselves” (44:25). “I think the word motivation is very complicated” (46:25). “You can't expect to be motivated by motivation” (47:30). “I never define happiness” (1:04:45). “We all can decide for ourselves what it means to be happy” (1:05:00). “Negative emotions have a very important part to play” (1:06:05). “If you get interested in something, really try to become a minor expert” (1:15:30). “The more you know, the more questions you have” (1:16:05). Additionally, you can find everything you need to know about Gretchen and connect with her on her website, as well as following her on all social media platforms @GretchenRubin. I'd also highly encourage you to check out Gretchen's podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, wherever you consume your podcasts. Thank you so much to Gretchen for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Welcome back to another inspiring episode of "Women of Impact"! Today, our incredible host, Lisa Bilyeu, sits down with the brilliant and insightful Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author and happiness expert. Together, they explore the fascinating world of personal tendencies and how they shape our ability to meet expectations and form lasting habits. Gretchen delves into her "Four Tendencies" framework—obligers, questioners, upholders, and rebels—offering invaluable insights on how to leverage these traits to achieve personal success and happiness. In this episode, you'll discover the powerful role that outer accountability, self-awareness, and embracing individual differences play in our emotional well-being. Lisa and Gretchen highlight the importance of enjoying the journey rather than just the outcome, the impact of sleep, diet, and exercise on our moods, and the transformative effects of focusing on relationships and connecting through our senses. Gretchen also shares her wisdom from her latest book, "Life in Five Senses," and offers practical tips for using music, taste, and even scent to enhance our emotional states and deepen our relationships. Whether you're a rebel resisting the norm or an obliger thriving with accountability, this conversation will provide you with the tools and perspectives needed to craft your unique path to happiness. Tune in and get ready to be inspired! SHOWNOTES 00:00 Seek new experiences, address loneliness, take action. 05:27 Focus on actionable steps, not just outcomes. 08:44 Questioning traps, obstacles, and external validation in happiness. 13:40 Meditation didn't work, that's okay, I'm different. 15:54 Four tendencies framework identifies individual personality types. 18:47 Obligers need outer accountability for inner expectations. 22:55 Questioners seek thorough understanding before taking action. 26:36 Sweetheart not ideal as accountability partner. 28:01 Empowerment through understanding habits and choices. 34:29 Strong relationships, support crucial for happiness. 36:26 Five senses are key to happiness and wellness. 39:37 Lost memory leads to new taste experiences. 45:19 Indulging senses can uplift and energize. 46:14 Effusive praise for genius scent and yearning. 49:28 Encouraging self-improvement through subscription and following. CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS Shopify: Sign up for a $1/month trial period at https://impacttheory.co/shopifyWOIsept  Tabu: Go to https://www.heytabu.com/discount/LISA15 and use code LISA15 to save 15% off your order FOLLOW LISA: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/womenofimpact Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_bilyeu?lang=en LISTEN AD FREE + BONUS EPISODES on APPLE PODCASTS: apple.co/womenofimpact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We discuss research suggesting that during the first three weeks with strangers in a new environment (such as a cruise or college), we have a special window for making friends. We also talk about why setting an alarm can alleviate restlessness and anxiety, and we address a question from an Obliger about how to deal with the fact that members of her family don't do their share. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin on YouTube @GretchenRubin on TikTok @GretchenRubin on Instagram @GretchenRubin on Threads @LizCraft on Instagram @LizCraft on Threads @GretchenRubin on ThreadsGet the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/496 Get Gretchen Rubin's newest New York Times bestselling book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now available wherever books are sold. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Send us a Text Message.In this episode, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford discuss Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies quiz, which explores how individuals respond to expectations. They break down each of the four tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Upholders readily meet both outer and inner expectations, while Questioners resist outer expectations and meet inner expectations. Obligers meet outer expectations but struggle with inner expectations, relying on external accountability. Rebels resist all expectations, valuing freedom and choice. The hosts discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each tendency and share personal anecdotes. In this conversation, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford discuss the four tendencies framework and how it can help individuals understand themselves and work better with others. They explore each of the four tendencies (upholder, questioner, obliger, and rebel) and share personal anecdotes and insights. They also discuss the importance of knowing your team's tendencies and adapting your communication and management style accordingly. The conversation emphasizes the value of self-awareness and intentional work environments.Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books!Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.

Claim your complimentary gift of my exclusive mini weight care guide today!Link: Weight Care Guide — Dr. Francavilla Show (thedrfrancavillashow.com)Ever wonder why some people breeze through their to-do lists while others struggle to get anything done?In today's episode, we'll explore how understanding personality types, as outlined by Gretchen Rubin in The Four Tendencies, can potentially help you manage your weight—or help others manage theirs. These insights into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels can provide valuable strategies tailored to your or someone else's unique approach to goals and expectations, offering new ways to stay motivated and achieve success in health and fitness goals.Rubin's framework categorizes people into four personality types:Upholders: They readily meet both inner and outer expectations, making them proficient at sticking to plans and goals, including those related to weight management.Questioners: They meet inner expectations but question outer ones. For weight management, they need reasons and justifications for their health choices.Obligers: They meet outer expectations but struggle with inner ones. They may excel with external accountability, making them responsive to support and encouragement in weight management efforts.Rebels: They resist both inner and outer expectations and thrive on spontaneity and freedom. For weight management, they may benefit from non-traditional, flexible approaches.By identifying your or someone else's tendency, you can tailor strategies to maximize motivation and overcome challenges in achieving health goals. Understanding these dynamics can make a significant difference in how effectively you approach weight management and overall well-being. Ready to dive deeper? Listen to the full episode for further insights!Visit Gretchen Rubin's website to explore her Four Tendencies framework: Gretchen Rubin - https://gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies/Connect with me:Instagram: doctorfrancavillaFacebook: Help Your Patients Lose Weight with Dr. FrancavillaWebsite: Dr. Francavilla ShowYoutube: The Doctor Francavilla ShowGLP Strong: glpstrong.com

Greetings Recapsters! For this episode, we discuss Gretchin Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, where she discusses how people respond to inner (stop nagging) and outer (traffic laws) expectations. She also wrote Better than Before to help us discover why some people can form habits more easily than others.How do we change? Habits are the invisible architecture of our lives. 40% of our daily behaviors are repeated, why not harness this information to gain self-knowledge that will help us adopt habits successfully? 41% of the population are Obligers. “You can count on me and I'm counting on you to count on me.” They are motivated by external expectations and struggle with inner expectations and with saying no. 24% of the people fall into the Questioner category. “I will comply if you convince me why.” They are motivated by clarity, reason, logic and fairness. They can have bouts of analysis paralysis. 19% of folks are Upholders. These are the people that respond readily to inner and outer expectations. Discipline is their freedom. 17% fall into the Rebel category. “You can't make me, and neither can I.” This group places a high value on authenticity and acts best when you give them the information and let them make a choice. Our tendencies color the way we see the world. If you want to take the short quiz to discover your tendency click here. Thank you for joining us on our quest to read the best! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recapbookchat/message

We talk about how Elizabeth's novel-writing is going, now that the Hollywood writers' strike is over. Inspired by a recent wedding, we discuss the huge contribution that old friends can make to our happiness. Plus we highlight a great suggestion from a listener about how Obligers (and people around Obligers) can create useful accountability. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Instagram @GretchenRubin on TikTok and YouTube Get the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get Gretchen Rubin's newest New York Times bestselling book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now availablewherever books are sold. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We talk about why it's a good idea to re-examine our personal, work, and family routines to look for opportunities to improve. We also discuss how Obligers can recognize when they're entering the state of Obliger-rebellion, and we answer a listener question about our reading habits. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin on YouTube @GretchenRubin on TikTok @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Instagram @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Threads Get the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/446 Get Gretchen Rubin's newest book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now available - order here. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts— Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I will introduce you to one of my favorite tools in my business, The Four Tendencies framework for dealing with expectations. How we deal with expectations, our own and those of others, has a significant impact on our business and personal lives. Some of us always go the extra mile for others but let ourselves down on a regular basis and others are the exact opposite. Knowing our own tendency and that of our clients, our team members, and even our friends and family members can make the difference between referral business, testimonials and long-term relationships and negative reviews, disappointment and frequent turnover. This framework is taken from the book, “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin. And in this episode, I will explore each one: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel, and how they impact our ability to meet expectations. The information I share will center around the common challenges each tendency faces, as well as their unique strengths. By the end of this episode, you'll have a deeper understanding of your own tendency and how it influences your interactions with others and your approach to meeting expectations. There are 5 important questions at the end and an invitation to DM me on Linked In or Instagram to let me know what you think MY tendency is and to share yours! Don't forget to grab the worksheet that summarizes each of the Four Tendencies to use in your business and with your team, here: https://bit.ly/3BS1yW4To go deeper after listening: 1. How do you typically approach meeting expectations in your business or work life? Do you tend to prioritize meeting the expectations of others or your own?2. Have you ever felt misunderstood or frustrated by the expectations placed on you by others? How did this impact your interactions and relationships?3. In what ways do you think understanding your tendency in meeting expectations can benefit your mental health and overall well-being?4. How do you navigate the tension between meeting the expectations of others and prioritizing your own needs and self-care? What practices or strategies have you implemented to find a balance?5. When working with others, what steps can you take to ensure that expectations are clear and achievable for everyone involved?Want to schedule a Strategy day for planning how to work more effectively with your team based on your (and their) tendencies? This would be an excellent use of a VIP Day, but don't wait because Boss Up Bootcamps are going away soon. Whether it's a Strategy Date, an Accountability Date or a Brainstorm to Breakthrough intensive, you will be amazed at how fast we can move the needle in your business with focus & action! Click here for more info and here to schedule a free consultation to see which bootcamp has YOUR name all over it! Are we connected on Linked In? What are we waiting for? https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/00:22:46 Questioners struggle to answer others' questions due to their own intense curiosity and tendency to generate endless inquiries. 00:29:07 Obligers at risk for burnout, cultural...

In this episode, I will introduce you to one of my favorite tools in my business, The Four Tendencies framework for dealing with expectations. How we deal with expectations, our own and those of others, has a significant impact on our business and personal lives. Some of us always go the extra mile for others but let ourselves down on a regular basis and others are the exact opposite. Knowing our own tendency and that of our clients, our team members, and even our friends and family members can make the difference between referral business, testimonials and long-term relationships and negative reviews, disappointment and frequent turnover. This framework is taken from the book, “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin. And in this episode, I will explore each one: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel, and how they impact our ability to meet expectations. The information I share will center around the common challenges each tendency faces, as well as their unique strengths. By the end of this episode, you'll have a deeper understanding of your own tendency and how it influences your interactions with others and your approach to meeting expectations. There are 5 important questions at the end and an invitation to DM me on Linked In or Instagram to let me know what you think MY tendency is and to share yours! Don't forget to grab the worksheet that summarizes each of the Four Tendencies to use in your business and with your team, here: https://bit.ly/3BS1yW4To go deeper after listening: 1. How do you typically approach meeting expectations in your business or work life? Do you tend to prioritize meeting the expectations of others or your own?2. Have you ever felt misunderstood or frustrated by the expectations placed on you by others? How did this impact your interactions and relationships?3. In what ways do you think understanding your tendency in meeting expectations can benefit your mental health and overall well-being?4. How do you navigate the tension between meeting the expectations of others and prioritizing your own needs and self-care? What practices or strategies have you implemented to find a balance?5. When working with others, what steps can you take to ensure that expectations are clear and achievable for everyone involved?Want to schedule a Strategy day for planning how to work more effectively with your team based on your (and their) tendencies? This would be an excellent use of a VIP Day, but don't wait because Boss Up Bootcamps are going away soon. Whether it's a Strategy Date, an Accountability Date or a Brainstorm to Breakthrough intensive, you will be amazed at how fast we can move the needle in your business with focus & action! Click here for more info and here to schedule a free consultation to see which bootcamp has YOUR name all over it! Are we connected on Linked In? What are we waiting for? https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/00:22:46 Questioners struggle to answer others' questions due to their own intense curiosity and tendency to generate endless inquiries. 00:29:07 Obligers at risk for burnout, cultural...

Knowing the facts/data about yourself and your personality can help you effectively habit hack your health. This is the first step of my HABIT HACKING SYSTEM inside of the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR. I have each client take The 4 Tendencies Quiz.  The 4 Tendencies is a personality framework developed by Gretchen Rubin, outlined in her book "The Four Tendencies." This framework categorizes people into four main tendencies based on how they respond to inner and outer expectations. Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.  We'll break down each tendency and provide habit loops for each to ensure your healthy habits will stick! *** HABIT HACKS: -Get the FREE HEALTHY HABIT RESET MASTERCLASS! -Access the secret podcast ATOMIC HABITS FOR WOMEN -Get my most popular tracker from the shop, the ULTIMATE HABIT TRACKER! -Access my signature program, the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR -CHECK OUT THE FREEBIE VAULT!: Access habit tools, self care checklist, ingredient meal tips, free workouts and more!    LET'S CONNECT: Connect with Emily: @emilynichols22@habithackshop.co www.emily-nichols.com   

Today on The Mindvalley Show, embark on a journey of self-discovery with acclaimed writer Gretchen Rubin as she unravels the enigmatic world of The Four Tendencies. Renowned for her ability to distill complex ideas into relatable wisdom, Rubin introduces the intriguing personalities that shape our responses to expectations. Her bestselling book "The Four Tendencies" delves into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—distinct types that impact how we navigate life's demands. In this episode, Rubin exposes the strengths and challenges of each tendency. Whether you're an Upholder who readily meets inner and outer expectations, a Questioner who seeks rationality, an Obliger who thrives under external accountability, or a Rebel who defies convention, understanding your tendency can revolutionize your growth journey. Tune in to gain insights into effective communication and leadership strategies tailored to these tendencies, empowering you to navigate relationships and professional endeavors with newfound clarity. Discover your tendency, leverage it for growth, and gain valuable insights into effective interaction and leadership. Tune in now and embark on a transformative exploration that will reshape your perception of yourself and others. Key takeaways: [01:19] The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel [02:59] How your tendency affects your behavior [03:44] Upholder tendency: meets both outer and inner expectations [05:14] Questioner tendency: questions all expectations and needs reasons [7:28] Obliger tendency: meets outer expectations but struggles with inner expectations [9:30] Rebel tendency: resists both outer and inner expectations [11:52] How to communicate and lead different personality types [15:30] The concept of Obliger Rebellion [17:54] The unique strength of The Rebel Where to find our guest: GretchenRubin.com Memorable Quotes: "There's no right, there's no wrong. It's just whatever works for you." [2:45] -Gretchen Rubin "There's enormous power in the rebel tendency. They tend to be great entrepreneurs because then they're making the rules and doing things their own way." [18:31] -Gretchen Ruben To stay connected and to learn more about Vishen and Mindvalley, click on the links below:  Website: Mindvalley.com YouTube: @vishenlakhiani Instagram: @mindvalley Instagram: @vishen Facebook: @mindvalley   Subscribe to 'Mindvalley Membership' to discover 65+ transformational Mindvalley programs – at a surprisingly low annual fee here

What's the best way to motivate yourself? Through her research, Gretchen Rubin came up with The Four Tendencies, four different ways people respond to internally and / or externally motivation. Sammie for example, is an upholder, and will often complete a task if she decides to do it or if someone like her boss needs her to do it. Michelle, a rebel, listens to know one, including herself. Obligers respond to external motivation and suffer if they have to hold themselves accountable. Questioners need to know they why behind the task, and that will determine whether or not they do something.  Sammie and Michelle loved revisiting this fan favorite episode. Take Gretchen Rubin's quiz and visit our website to let us know your tendency! You can leave a comment at buildawealthyspirit.com Show NotesThe Four Tendencies QuizThe Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)  by Gretchen Rubin Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

Today on The Mindvalley Show, embark on a journey of self-discovery with acclaimed writer Gretchen Rubin as she unravels the enigmatic world of The Four Tendencies. Renowned for her ability to distill complex ideas into relatable wisdom, Rubin introduces the intriguing personalities that shape our responses to expectations. Her bestselling book "The Four Tendencies" delves into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—distinct types that impact how we navigate life's demands. In this episode, Rubin exposes the strengths and challenges of each tendency. Whether you're an Upholder who readily meets inner and outer expectations, a Questioner who seeks rationality, an Obliger who thrives under external accountability, or a Rebel who defies convention, understanding your tendency can revolutionize your growth journey. Tune in to gain insights into effective communication and leadership strategies tailored to these tendencies, empowering you to navigate relationships and professional endeavors with newfound clarity. Discover your tendency, leverage it for growth, and gain valuable insights into effective interaction and leadership. Tune in now and embark on a transformative exploration that will reshape your perception of yourself and others.   Key takeaways: [01:19] The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel [02:59] How your tendency  affects your behavior [03:44] Upholder tendency: meets both outer and inner expectations [05:14] Questioner tendency: questions all expectations and needs reasons [7:28] Obliger tendency: meets outer expectations but struggles with inner expectations [9:30] Rebel tendency: resists both outer and inner expectations [11:52] How to communicate and lead different personality types [15:30] The concept of Obliger Rebellion [17:54] The unique strength of The Rebel   Where to find our guest: GretchenRubin.com   Memorable Quotes: "There's no right, there's no wrong. It's just whatever works for you." [2:45] -Gretchen Rubin "There's enormous power in the rebel tendency. They tend to be great entrepreneurs because then they're making the rules and doing things their own way." [18:31] -Gretchen Ruben   To stay connected and to learn more about Vishen and Mindvalley, click on the links below:  Website: Mindvalley.com YouTube: @vishenlakhiani Instagram: @mindvalley Instagram: @vishen Facebook: @mindvalley   Subscribe to 'Mindvalley Membership' to discover 65+ transformational Mindvalley programs – at a surprisingly low annual fee here

Have you ever called yourself lazy or undisciplined because you can't ever seem to get your goals accomplished?  Do you ever feel like you have time to help everyone else, but when it's time to invest in yourself, there's no time left?  How about those New Year's Resolutions? Did you give up on them years ago, knowing you'll never do them? It's time for part 2 of Revolutionize Your Life With These 4 Tendencies. Let's talk about Obligers and how to get those internal expectations working for you instead of against you. And if you're not an Obliger, how can you support those reaching for their dreams? Today is for you if… If you're tired of beating yourself up for not getting it done…again. If you desire to fulfill your God-given purpose but struggle to make progress. If you need the key to keep you on the right path to accomplishing your goals. Now, let's tackle each tendency individually. You'll understand yourself better and how your tendency relates to others. This will help you fully express who you are, engage more effectively with others and ultimately help you fulfill the life Father's called you to. Let's talk Obliger. Obligers never seem to accomplish their personal goals, yet always get that report to their boss on time. The kids can count on them to get them to their sporting event, even though they originally planned to have some “you time.” If any of this hits home, you, my friend, might just be an Obliger. Obligers are great at meeting external expectations but not internal ones. As Obligers, we must create EXTERNAL accountability to achieve those internal expectations.  Knowing this is freeing. You can now create a game plan to help yourself meet those internal expectations that you've been putting off for years! 1. Enlist Accountability Partner(s) In her book, The 4 Tendencies, Gretchen shared an excellent example of how two Obligers managed to be each other's accountability partners to work out at the gym. They would each exchange a shoe when they left the gym. Now they must show up, or their friend can't work out. Brilliant!! Cut, print, check the gate!  Get creative and find those accountability partners to help you meet those internal expectations. 2. Employ Apps to Hold You Accountable I use the Lose It app to track my weight and exercise. It helps me make better food choices. I know if I'm maintaining my weight and can take immediate action if I'm not. The app holds me accountable because I will gain weight if I don't use it.  3. Use a Planner to Hold You Accountable for Your Goals and Tasks It can be paper or virtual, or a hybrid of both. I do a hybrid of my digital calendar and paper planner. Use whatever works, but try something. How can others help an Obliger? 1. Don't take advantage of an Obliger It can be so easy to continually go to the Obliger for help because you know they'll say, “yes.”  Please don't take advantage of their helpful Obliger nature. 2. Watch out for Obliger Rebellion Obliger rebellion is when Obligers have had enough and rebel against the external expectations coming at them. It may look like it's coming out of now where, but it's been building my friends. So, please be sensitive to not push your Obliger friends to the point of Obliger rebellion. To my Obliger friends, you can watch out for this by learning to say “no.”  3. Ask how you can help the Obliger to help them meet their internal expectation. Ask–don't tell.  Next time, we're going to delve into the Rebel!  Homework: If you're an Obliger, what's the best way you've found to employ external accountability to get done your internal expectations? Or, what will you use now to hold you accountable? For non-Obligers, what's one way you think you could help your fellow Obligers with accountability? Still need to take the quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/ Thanks a bunch for listening!  You got this, and Father's got you! Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

We talk about why it's useful to find our own way to look around a museum—and we offer some unusual suggestions. We also discuss a useful health hack, and discuss listeners' thoughtful responses to question from the OBLIGER/Rebel who resists accountability—even though she needs it. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Instagram @GretchenRubin on TikTok and YouTube Get the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get the resources and all links related to this episode: http://happiercast.com/421 Get Gretchen Rubin's newest book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now available for pre-order. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts— Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Liz and Sarah are setting their own deadlines on a current project - and that can be a challenge for these two Obligers. How will they manage to stay on track? In Take A Hike, Sarah reveals how the recent rains in Southern California made her realize it's a good idea to practice for an emergency. Next, in The Craft (& Fain), they discuss the importance of doing your research before diving into a new genre. And this Hollywood Hack is changing Liz's life: the Apple Magic Keyboard. LINKS: Apple Magic Keyboard: https://www.apple.com/ipad-keyboards/ Get in touch on Twitter: @sarahmfain & @elizabethcraft Get in touch on Instagram: @Sfain & @LizCraft Visit our website: https://happierinhollywood.com Join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/HappierinHollywood/ Happier in Hollywood is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Do The Thing, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There was only one real option for a guest to kick off 2023. Gretchen Rubin is an author, podcaster, speaker, and an investigator of unexpected truths. Do you have a hard time sticking to your resolutions? Gretchen lays out concrete and informative ideas to think about the next time you need to hold yourself—or your kids—accountable. Plus, we find out if Dave and Jon are Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or Rebels. (No, those aren't new houses in Hogwarts.) Thanks to our sponsors! Methodical Coffee - Visit methodicalcoffee.com for more information and use the discount code dadville for 10 percent off your first order.

Today's episode is all about self-accountability. Self-accountability is something that a lot of us have really quirky mindsets about. More and more people have come to me in coaching and told me that they, themselves, are obligers. As a researcher, I have noticed that obliger is almost always a code word for a fixed mindset about the skill of self-accountability. In this episode, we'll dive deeper into your belief about self-accountability, what it means to be an obliger, and how to move towards a growth mindset for the chance to truly develop self-accountability. PS: In the Change Academy workshop this month, I'll be talking exactly about how I started to view myself, not as an obliger, but as someone who could learn how to hold myself accountable and the process of how we learn to hold ourselves accountable.

The New Year is approaching and this is a time when many of us think about making and breaking new habits. So today we're bringing on one of the smartest people when it comes to habits, best-selling author and speaker Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen's contention is that before you embark on a self-improvement project, it's crucial to have some self-awareness about what kind of person you are. She has devised a framework called the Four Tendencies, which helps you identify your personality type in order to gain powerful insights into how you make or break habits. Rubin is a lawyer by training and began her career clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Gretchen then went on to write a series of books that examine small and doable ways to boost our happiness in everyday life. These include: The Happiness Project, which spent two years on the bestseller list and sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide, and Better Than Before. We initially conducted the interview you're about to hear back in 2017, when Gretchen released a book called The Four Tendencies. In this episode we talk about:How and why Gretchen developed the Four Tendencies frameworkHow Gretchen's framework can give each of us a recipe for successful habit changeBreaking down the Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or RebelsHow these Four Tendencies are an overlapping Venn diagram What “obliger rebellion” is and how to spot it in your relationshipsThe value of forming an accountability groupAnd why Gretchen sometimes calls herself a happiness bully Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-99-rerunSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Casharkaan waa qaybtii shaqsiyadda psychology Afsoomali. Obliger iskalife yaasha. Dabeecadaha dadka la yiraahda iskalife yaasha

This week on the podcast, I'm sharing a very special SNEAK PREVIEW (part 2) of this month's mindset class: MOTIVATION MAGIC. In this class, you'll learn:⁠ ❓ Are you an Obliger, Questioner, Upholder, or Rebel? ⁠ Knowing the answer can MAGICALLY TRANSFORM your weight loss journey!

In honor of our upcoming IO2022 innovation Accelerated Summit, which is happening September 19th and 20th in Lincoln Nebraska. Thought it'd be nice to pull some of the best interviews and sessions from our IO2020 virtual event. So, over the next few weeks, check out some of our amazing speakers and grab a ticket for the upcoming event. We'd love to see you there. Tickets and more information can be found at io2022.com. And now back to the show. Inside Outside Innovation is a podcast to help new innovators navigate what's next. Each week, we'll give you a front row seat into what it takes to learn, grow, and thrive in today's world of accelerating change and uncertainty. Join us as we explore, engage, and experiment with the best and the brightest innovators, entrepreneurs, and pioneering businesses. It's time to get started.Interview Transcript with Steph Smith, Trends.co / The Hustle / HubspotBrian Ardinger: We are excited to have Steph Smith here with the Hustle and Trends to talk about one of these amazing new trends that we're seeing. It's the whole move to remote work. Steph is the Head of Trends and Product Manager at the Hustle, which is a great newsletter, if you don't subscribe to that. Trends is their exclusive group. And I I've got to say it's, it's one of the best groups out there to talk about new things that are happening out there, new business leaders, things along those lines. She's got a new book out called Standing Out in 2020. Doing Content Right. And I know she's been doing a series of sessions on that. It's an eBook. You can check it out at stephsmith.io. She's been blogging for a ton of time. And she's also been in this world of remote work. Been a digital nomad for a while. So, with that, I'm going to just turn over to Steph. And we'll talk the trend of remote working. Steph Smith: Sweet. Thanks so much. That was a great intro, Brian. Today, I'm going to be talking about something that I care a lot about. I saw some other people in the chat mention that they've been working remotely for a long time. Two, I'm going to be talking about thinking past the office and designing what I call resilient, remote teams. And I do this in a little bit of a different way than I think most presentations on this topic are, which give you a lot of super, super concrete, like you must do this. I like to think of this more so as how do we think about what has changed? What does that mean? And what can we learn from this? So, I use three books and I'll get into that in a second to actually convey some of these points. But just quickly, I don't want to talk about myself very much. Brian gave me a great intro. All you need to know is that I have been working remotely for the last four or five years now. And I did that originally at a company called Top Tell, which was one of those kind of remote first companies built from the ground up to be remote. Now I work at a company called The Hustle and I've done some remote training for different companies. And in general, have been nomadding around for the last couple years as I work remotely. So that's enough about me. Let's talk about where we are in this world. As I mentioned before COVID there was a series of companies I'd say only a couple dozen of scale that were built up to be remote. From the ground up, they said, you know what, we're never going to have any offices. Or if we do, we're going to be remote first. Companies like Zapier Basecamp, Web Flow. All these companies were built from the ground up to facilitate positive remote working environment. Now, as we all know, you saw this kind of trend, the slow trickle of people that were searching for remote work overtime. This is Google trends from 2004 to present. Then as we all know, 2020. crazy year. We see this big spike and we're all remote, whether we want to be or not. And this includes huge companies like Google, Cora, Coinbase. Shopify that at least are either going to be remote for several, several years or in some cases like Shopify have just claimed that they are now remote first from here forward. The question then becomes with all of these companies with now millions, if not billions of people that are kind of thrown into this new environment, what happens. What happens to these organizations that weren't built from the ground up? Like Zapier, Base Camp, or Buffer. Some of the questions that I have here, allude to what I'll be talking about in this presentation. So how does remote work or the shift influence how people interact with one another? How does it influence the social fabric or culture of the company? How does this change how potentially leaders should or can operate at these organizations?And in general, this all brings me back to the title of this presentation. How do we build resilient teams? And resiliency in this case means teams that thrive in the environment that they're put in, right. It doesn't feel like they're kind of pushing against walls. It doesn't feel like there's friction to achieve certain things.It feels like they're put in an environment where they're put in a place to succeed by nature, by the nature of the environment that they're in. So, as I said, this presentation is really based on three books that I've read and, and I think are excellent. It's Give and Take, Algorithms to Live By and The Four Tendencies.And I like using books like this to really frame these conversations because these books are actually not based on remote work at all. They're based on human psychology. They're based on how people interact in given situations or environments. And then I just layer on a question. Is this still true with remote work or how does this change as people go from an in-person environment to remote. And so, we'll talk specifically about how giving and taking behavior may change with remote work. We'll talk about how we can design systems. So, using something From Algorithms to Live By, Game Theory. How do we incentivize people to actually act in their best interest? Because they don't always do that on their own. And how do we in general make remote work sustainable. And then I'll talk about the potential archetype of remote worker using this four tendencies framework. To preface the three books and the three things that we'll talk about, I want to jump back to summarize where we are.So, we as a society had a majority of people working in offices. And now we have a majority of people working remotely. And I like to kind of facetiously say that when you work in an office, you work in a box. And that box is predefined for you. And even though it's a little facetious in terms of the analogy, a lot of that is true in the sense that you have a lot of things, whether it's, you know, where you're physically working, how you're working exactly, when you're working. A lot of that is super predefined for you. And for some people that's actually better. Some people that's worse. I'm not trying to ascertain whether one is better or worse, but the idea is that before you had a lot of things mapped out for you, right? And now when you're working remotely, the way, the analogy that I like to give is that box is kind of like stripped clean.So, you get rid of the walls, you get rid of exactly when, how you work. And now a lot of people are left to figure out how to build their own box. And what I see a lot of people doing, whether it's individuals or companies is they basically do this Control C Control V where they basically say, you know, we had all these things, these processes, these systems, these frameworks that worked in our office. So, let's just take all those and let's paste them into our new environment. And that can work. But what I think we have a unique opportunity to do is in fact, rethink the box. So, build our new box from the ground up. So instead of just copying everything and saying, oh, this worked there. It should work here. Let's just rethink what are the things that we should operate by in this new environment? How do we rebuild our box? And something more important than that is instead of giving our employees a new box saying, hey, this is your box. Please take it. And again, abide by these rules or operations or logistics. Let's actually just give them the tools to build their own box. And this kind of summarizes part of what I'm, I'm getting to at least to preface three examples is, is a quote from Amir. Who's a CEO of Doist one of those kind of remote first and companies. And he says, basically, remote. Isn't just a different way to work. It's a different way to live. We have to acknowledge that we're kind of blurring these lines and people, you know, experience isolation, anxiety, depression. And in general, we need to figure out ways in systems to resolve this new, almost more complex issue where you have people, people's work and their lives just meshing into this continuous system.All right. So, what are the cornerstones of remote work? I mentioned this because this bleeds into some of the examples. So remote work overall, at least prior to COVID, when people weren't forced into it, really prioritized three things over three other things. Meaning output trumped input, which meant that didn't matter exactly how many hours you were working or exactly what you did to get to the impact that you're driving for a company.What mattered was the impact, the output. Similarly, remote work tended to favor autonomy over administration. Again, this idea that didn't matter exactly how you got from Point A to Point B. You had the autonomy to figure that out. And similarly, flexibility over rigidity. So, let's keep these cornerstones in mind throughout the presentation. And consider that even those cornerstones sound kind of resoundingly positive, all of us at face value are like, yes, I love being graded on my output. I love being graded or given the autonomy to figure out how I deliver that output. And I love being given flexibility. But let's just keep those in mind and consider that they're not always strictly positive. All right, so let's dive into the first example in the book, Give and Take. Obviously, these books are very in depth and I only covered one small sliver of them in this presentation. But the key takeaway from Give and Take is that Adam Grant, he's a professor at Wharton, amazing writer as well. He talks about three different types of individuals. So, Givers, Takers, and Matchers. All you need to know about them for the purpose of this presentation is that givers basically believe in this world as a positive sum game. Meaning they believe in mutually beneficial situations. They're willing to give without expecting anything in return. Takers are kind of the opposite of that. They think zero sum game. I'm sure you can imagine or conceptualize people in your life that you've encountered that really are trying to get ahead at the expense of other people.Now matchers fall somewhere in the middle. They basically believe, or kind of function off of this idea of reciprocity and fairness. All right. So with that in mind, the question or sorry, before I even get to the question, something I want to mention is that the whole premise of Adam Grant's book is a little surprising in that most people would expect that given Takers and Matchers and Takers in particular, their approach to life in terms of kind of utilizing other people to get ahead or prioritizing their own growth over other people, you would expect those people to be the most successful.Now, interestingly enough, he found that Givers were both at the very top of the spectrum of success, and the very bottom. You can notice two different types of Givers here. One is selfless. One is, is otherish. All you need to know here is that Otherish Givers are Givers but have found a way to prioritize their own needs.So really interesting that Givers not only elevate other people, but they are actually the most successful on their own. So, this is kind of a summary or a quote from Adams, which basically says they succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of others around them. You'll see that the difference lies in how Giver success creates value instead of just claiming it.So, in general, I think the obvious takeaway here is that we want more Givers at our organizations. Now the question becomes, and this will be a repetitive question throughout, is this the same with remote work. Or how does this change with remote work? Some of the sections here are based on actual data sources.This one, not so much. This is me more hypothesizing. And what I've come to in terms of my many years leading teams, interacting with teams, being individual contributors on teams is that because if we remember the cornerstones of remote work, we prioritize output. We prioritize impact. That which in remote, all that matters is that impact, right?Are you delivering value? Are you worth your salary? Are you hitting your KPIs. In person when you're in an office? All that stuff matters. But it's also weighed against certain unspoken things, unspoken rules, like the amount of time you're spending in the office. Whether you're on time for things, whether you stay late to help another employee in general, everyone knows who the team players are in an office.That's not always true when you work remotely. I think if you've worked remotely over the last couple months, especially if you were in an office before, you can probably resonate with this idea. In remote, there's a couple thing, other things that I want to know. This idea of staying on longer to, you know, as a Giver, let's say you're helping other people.That's super difficult to quantify because when you're working remotely again, our work life and our lifeline blend together. So, it's actually hard, if I were to ask anyone on this call, how many hours did you spend this week working remotely? I think a lot of people would struggle to actually quantify that.So then layering on, am I working extra? Am I not working enough? It's really hard to kind of parse that out. Additionally, if you support someone. Let's say I have a friend and her name is Sally at work. And she says, Hey Steph, can you help me with this project? And it actually takes like, you know, five hours out of my day.I end up helping her. All of that work for better or for worse is hidden online. Sally knows about it. But everyone else at work, didn't see me stay late to help Sally. They didn't see the output of that work. They didn't see the Giving behavior. And so, in addition to this, KPIs in general, when you work remotely by nature of trying to ascertain that output of people, tends to be more individual. You even hear people use terms like manager of one when they're working remotely.And in general, the idea that I'm trying to get across here is that by nature, when you're working remotely, because there are so much emphasis on output and impact, which has many positives, basically takes away the recognition that you typically get in an in-person environment of these Givers, and what happens is these Givers end up burning out, they become more of those selfless givers that you saw at the tail end. Instead of the Otherish givers that were the most successful individual. And something I want to call out here is that regardless of intentions, morals, or values, and what I'm saying here is it doesn't matter if someone's a good person or bad person. That's not what I'm trying to ascertain. Bad incentive structures result in bad behavior, no matter how good of a person you think you are. So, what's the takeaway here? Again, I'm trying to go through this quickly, so I won't go through everything. But the idea here is that you still won't have a water cooler. In the office, which almost acted like, you know, animals in the wild. There's like a certain hierarchy and there's a kingdom and, and it kind of regulates things, right. You just subtly, but it does. You don't have that anymore with remote, or at least it's not created without intentionality. And so, there are a couple quick things that you can do. The first thing is just ask your team very simply who helped you this week? Who did you work with? Where did you put in extra hours? Where did someone else put in extra hours for you? You must ask this because it will not be surfaced as naturally as in the office. The second thing is build KPIs to incentivize teamwork. This is a little harder to do because again, when you work remotely, you're trying to ascertain output. But think about how you can do this to incentivize teamwork. So, you're not kind of encouraging people to act more as Takers versus Givers. And then finally create an environment where you're not just recognizing good behavior or giving behavior, but you're actually rewarding it.So, some companies like GitLab have actually started things like micro bonuses, where in addition to the bonus structures or the compensation structures that you get from your boss, other people around you can actually reward you based on your giving behavior. Because that's really important. You're not just recognizing it in like kind of shout outs or things like that, but you're actually rewarding this behavior. So, you're incentivizing people to continue doing it. The final thing I want to call out is that you can do as much as you can once you have people at an organization to incentivize giving behavior. But you can also kind of integrate this into your hiring process. Which means bringing in people who are more naturally Givers.So, Adam Grant mentions in his book. This is directly from Give and Take where he, during the hiring process asks this question, can you give me the names of four people whose careers you have fundamentally improved? And the idea here is that people who are Givers tend to mention either people at the same level as them or below them in terms of the people that they've helped.And it's a natural response. Of course, this is again, not quite scientific versus Takers, tend to mention people that are above them. That they've helped, because again, there's this nature of people who are Takers, trying to get ahead and using things like status to get ahead. So, something to keep in mind as well as you're hiring.So, the second example that I want to go through is from Algorithms to Live By. Again, excellent book. This is a book where basically they take principles from software development or software engineering and use it to help us think through problems that are outside of that scope. So, things like Cashing Theory or Kneeling or making intractable problems tractable.The one that I want to talk about today is Game Theory. So, in Game Theory, I'm not going to go into depth, but it's this idea that within a game, there are certain rules. And within those rules, they incentivize people to act a certain way. And once a game is predefined, you tend to get to this equilibrium where all the players individually are acting their own best interest.But sometimes the kind of aggregate of those actions actually may result in outcomes that are worse for everyone. Again, depending on the rules that were set for that game. And this equilibrium that I'm specifically talking about is called the Nash Equilibrium. And it's this idea again, there's this kind of long definition and talks about a stable state.The idea here is the Nash Equilibrium is within an environment within a game. It's the outcome or the optimal state, where there's no incentive for any individual to deviate. Now, this may not sound super actionable. So let me give you a precise example of what I'm talking about. So, with remote work, a lot of remote first companies tend to go with unlimited vacation.And I think this is something that probably more companies will end up moving towards as well. But something you keep in mind here is the Nash Equilibrium of unlimited vacation approaches, zero days. And the reason for this it's a little counterintuitive because you think unlimited vacation sounds amazing. Sounds like a great perk. Well, what happens with unlimited vacation is that people look to be perceived as more loyal, more committed, more dedicated than their peers. And therefore, they look to take just slightly less vacation than their peers. And what happens is a cascading effect, which approaches zero.This is actual data from Buffer's Data Remote Report from 2019, where you can see in blue, the amount of vacation offered, and then in orange, the amount of vacation that was actually taken. So, you can see around 30, 35% of people had unlimited vacation. And if you look at how that's actually distributed, most of the people who had unlimited vacation took anywhere from no vacation to two weeks' vacation. Versus the people who had, you know, six weeks, five weeks, four weeks were likely to actually take that amount of vacation.So, what is my point here? Well, in Game Theory is this idea where basically you have a game and then those rules are set for the game. And then you just see what behaviors actually emerge from those given set of rules. Well, I think with remote work, we have to be a lot more intentional about not just kind of throwing rules out there, again, kind of redefining our box and, and not just taking a box that already exists. And you can do that through Mechanism Design, which is kind of flipping that script and saying, what are the behaviors that we actually want and what rules do we need to establish to actually generate those behaviors? So kind of again, reversing the question and figuring out what behaviors you want to incentivize. And then figuring out what rules need to be in place to actually achieve that.As I mentioned, the box has changed, the game has changed. So, here's a couple examples of things that people struggle with from the same report, when they're working remotely. It's things like unplugging, loneliness, distractions, culture, and communication. If you were to ask the same question to people who are working in an, in an office, these would not be the case, which shows us the game has changed. The problems have changed. The things that we're solving for have changed and therefore you must come up with rules or incentives so that people act in their own best interest. So again, you're thinking backwards. You're asking the question, what are the KPIs that you need to actively design to encourage people to, for example, have a work life balance outside of just the freedom to define their own. And this is really important because it sounds counterintuitive to say a I'm actually going to define more rules. Because flexibility sounds like a great perk or sounds like a great thing to have. But actually, you can help your employees in certain situations to actually help them again, this idea of building their own box.Something I want to call out here is again, is Wall Street, which is again, the most like capitalist type environment there is, has mandatory off hours. So that brokers don't push themselves to their Nash Equilibrium, which would be the sleepless equilibrium, where they're constantly trading. So, you have to think backwards and figure out how to design an environment that people succeed in.Quick couple examples before we move on to the third example. The third book are things like a minimum vacation policy, mandatory days that they must take off, allowing people to take back their calendars and actually block off significant parts so that they're not encountering what people call Calendar Tetris. I like this example from Keith, I don't know Keith personally, and this was pre COVID.But basically, he decided to close his office on Friday. Simple things like this, where he basically said it's a mandatory weekend. You are not allowed to work, even though it seems strange in a digital environment. And I'm giving you 50 bucks to go eat at your favorite restaurant. So, think about how you are intentionally designing systems for your employees.Finally, third example that I'll breeze through is the Four Tendencies. And I'll caveat this example with this quote directly from Gretchen Rubin, the author that says the happiest, healthiest, most productive people aren't those from a particular tendency, but rather the people who have figured out how to harness the strengths of their tendency, counteract the weaknesses, and build lives that work for them.So, what is the Four Tendencies? It's this idea that there as it sounds like four tendencies. Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, and Rebel. Now these two highlighted in green are not highlighted, because they're the best. As Gretchen said in that quote, it's just that they're they are the most common. Now the Four Tendencies is basically a two-by-two framework, which identifies how people respond to expectations or accountability.So, do they readily meet outer expectations? Do they readily meet inner expectations? Do they resist both of them or do they kind of fluctuate towards or air towards one or the other? So, I personally am a Questioner. I resist outer expectations and I meet inner expectations. To give a quick example, if I wanted to get fit, having a gym buddy as an outer expectation expecting me to show up that actually wouldn't help me. And that actually is something that I've tried to do throughout my life. Hasn't worked. Meanwhile, something like actually understanding the science behind why I should be fit or kind of convincing myself that my identity, or I want to be the type of person who, you know, respects their health. That works for me. So as a Questioner, I meet inner expectations. I resist outer expectations.Now I did a poll on Twitter a while ago, got around 400 votes from people who had been working remotely again, pre COVID. And it was interesting to see that the most popular tendencies among this again, non-scientific poll were Questioners and Rebels, and I thought, huh, that's interesting.If you remember questioners and obligers for the most common in the overall population with remote workers, or at least those who sought out remote work. Where questioners and rebels with the, the familiarity or the common thread here is that they both resist outer expectations. I thought that was really interesting.And I think that relates to this idea that there's a level of self-selection or misalignment with outer expectations of society, of people trying to at least identify their own work norms, identify their own vision or how they can actually build something, build their own box. And this isn't again, mean that they're more successful or less successful.It's just perhaps that they actively sought out this type of environment. Now, what's the takeaway here. This is a brief section compared to the other two, but it's the idea that people actually respond differently to inner and outer accountability. We used to have everyone in an office and that didn't necessarily work with everyone.Now we have everyone remote that doesn't necessarily work for everyone. So, I think the idea here is that leaders need to actually learn past, just the high level this person is good at these skills. This person is good at these skills. This is my top player. This is my, you know, less valuable player. And more so think about how to tailor their leadership stylers to figure out how to motivate their employees. Whether they're in a remote environment or not. But especially if you're in a remote environment, how do you incentivize, if we just quickly go back, how do you incentivize Upholders and Obligers when Questioners and Rebels tend to naturally seek out this environment?And on the flip side, if you're in an office, how do you naturally incentivize Questioners and Rebels so that they're motivated when Upholders and Obligers may more naturally fit into those traditional environments. So just something to consider. Right. This is the final slide I have, and I know we're running out of times, but the idea here is just, again, there are certain things or certain ways that humans tend to interact in, in an person environment.And they don't necessarily act the same ways in a remote environment. And in particular, they may not even act in ways that benefit themselves all the time. So, we must as leaders, if you're leading a team, if you're leading a company, It's good to consider some of these things and figure out A: How do I encourage Giving through discovering, hiring, promoting, and acknowledging and rewarding as I said before Givers. How do I select incentives or develop the right systems so that we're using Mechanism Design and not just throwing people into a game and hoping that they choose the best outcomes that are best for them or best for everyone?And then finally, how do we actually learn about our people past the face value in terms of their skills and figure out how to harness their unique strengths, whether they're in an in-person environment or a remote environment. If you want to find me, or if you have questions, happy to answer them now, but you're also welcome to email me or DM me on Twitter and that is it.Brian Ardinger: That's it for another episode of Inside Outside Innovation. If you want to learn more about our team, our content, our services, check out InsideOutside.io or follow us on Twitter @theIOpodcast or @Ardinger. Until next time, go out and innovate.FREE INNOVATION NEWSLETTER & TOOLSGet the latest episodes of the Inside Outside Innovation podcast, in addition to thought leadership in the form of blogs, innovation resources, videos, and invitations to exclusive events. SUBSCRIBE HEREYou can also search every Inside Outside Innovation Podcast by Topic and Company.  For more innovations resources, check out IO's Innovation Article Database, Innovation Tools Database, Innovation Book Database, and Innovation Video Database.  Also don't miss IO2022 - Innovation Accelerated in Sept, 2022.

In this episode we are going to take you behind the scenes of both of our coaching businesses.Trish and Carol both offer accountability coaching.  Benefits range from focusing on current goals, making progress with intentions and starting fresh habits to move forward and get "unstuck".Favourite coaching tools include Google docs, Trello for project management, Paperbell for coaching and client management and time blocking on your calendar.Gretchen Rubin has a framework called Four Tendencies which are:Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations.Questioners question both inner and outer expectations.Obligers resist inner but meet outer expectations.Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations.They usually say a lot about how clients will respond to accountability coaching.Obligers generally to get the most out of accountability coaching, as they thrive on outer expectations exclusively.Upholders often take on too much, and they often find that an accountability coach can help them prioritize.Questioners can get a lot out of accountability coaching, but only if the coach's approach makes sense to them.Rebels don't care about any kind of accountability, so they generally respond best to “sounding board” type coaching.Curious? You can  take and interpret the Four Tendencies QuizMeet your hosts:I'm Carol, an accountability coach helping women entrepreneurs around the globe reach goals in their business.  I offer consulting packages tailored to find your way through the overwhelm. Visit carolclegg.comI am Trish….I'm Trish and I'm a professional life coach with a focus on your best life balance: how good habits like time-blocking to your core values, setting firm boundaries, and learning to say NO can free you up and get you moving on to your next big plan! You can find out more at healthylifemindset.comConnect with Carol on socialLinkedInInstagramClubhouseConnect with Trish on socialLinkedInInstagramFacebookI am your host Carol Clegg. In my role as a coach, I partner with women solopreneurs in midlife to conquer procrastination, attain balance in their business endeavors, and nurture a positive mindset. By blending personalized accountability and mindset coaching with the powerful Positive Intelligence program, you'll gain the confidence to harness tools that elevate your overall happiness. Feel free to reach out with any inquiries you may have. I'm here to support you on your journey. Let's chat! BOOK your ✅ 30 minute complimentary discovery call carolclegg.com or book your call here https://bit.ly/discoverycallwithcarol Connect on LinkedIn and Instagram Thanks for listening!

As a busy mom of three, Danielle knows the importance of finding time to herself. In this episode of the Grounded in Simplicity podcast, she discussed with Bonnie about the book The Four Tendencies. From the conversation, there are four personality types: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel. Each personality type has its own strengths and weaknesses. For example, Upholders are great at following rules and meeting deadlines, but they may have a hard time relaxing or taking breaks. Questioners are good at challenging the status quo and thinking critically, but they may have a hard time making decisions. Obligers are good at meeting other people's expectations, but they may have a hard time meeting their own. Rebels are good at thinking outside the box and taking risks, but they may have a hard time following rules or routines. Which personality type are you? Listen to the whole podcast episode to better understand which personality matches you.Support the show

Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts June 2, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 73 / Guest: Fran Hauser Show Summary: As two Obligers and Enneagram Nines, we are so happy to know Fran Hauser. In this episode we talk through why it's good to be nice at work, but also how to... The post Embrace The Work, Love Your Career with guest Fran Hauser appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

As we do each year, we make a plan to design our summer, and we do a deep dive into listeners' ideas for family traditions. A listener suggests an accountability hack for Obligers (or anyone who wants a little accountability). We also reveal our next choice for the Happier Podcast Book Club.  Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/378 Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors Want to be happier in 2022? Order Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project to see how she approached the question, “How can I be happier?” and start a Happiness Project of your own. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's no one-size-fits-all solution for becoming happier and more productive!  This week on YAP, we're chatting with Gretchen Rubin! Gretchen is a 5X Best Selling Author, Speaker, “Self-Help Queen”, and Happiness Expert. She is known as an influential and thought-provoking observer of happiness and human nature.  In today's episode, we've compiled the most actionable of Gretchen's knowledge in one place. We'll yap about how to make your goals for the new year fun and attainable by choosing a theme like UPGRADE or a phrase like Walk 20 in 2020 that makes taking action easy! We learn how to personalize goal setting by covering the famous 4-tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel and how these personalities should best approach their desired outcomes. Lastly, Gretchen teaches us how to form new and helpful habits. She shares her delightful challenge this year of Rest for 22 minutes each day in 2022 and explains how habits and goals don't have to be extravigaint, but can be boring!  It's never too late to start a new year's resolution! Make sure to listen and learn how to do it right in this week's episode!  Sponsored by -  Prose - Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/YAP. Shopify - Go to shopify.com/profiting, for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features. BrandCrowd - Check out brandcrowd.com/yap to learn more, play with the tool for free, and get 73% off your purchase.   Jordan Harbinger - Check out jordanharbinger.com/start for some episode recommendations. Athletic Greens - Visit athleticgreens.com/YAP and get FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Blinkist - Go to Blinkist.copm/YAP to start your free 7 day trial and get 25% off of a Blinkist Premium membership. Social Media:  Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at Hala@YoungandProfiting.com Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on Clubhouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com Timestamps: (0:00) - Hala welcomes Gretchen to the show  (1:27) - The Concept of Drifting in Life (3:20) - Gretchen's Career Pivot From Law To Research & Writing (5:30) - Importance of Loving to Talk About Your Job (6:30) - Drifting In The Age of Covid (9:12) - New Year's Resolutions/ Temporal Landmarks (12:22) - Correlation Between Goals and Happiness (14:14) - Setting a One Word Theme For Our Year (17:20) - Gretchen's Concept of 22 in 22 (18:29) - Gretchen Describes Her Tasting Parties (20:20) - Should We Place Boundaries When Setting Goals (23:15) - Sticking To Your Goals/ Four Personality Types (24:24) - Upholders (24:43) - Questioners (25:16) - Obligers (26:00) - Rebels (27:00) - Gretchen's Four Tendencies Test (30:00) - How Does Each Personality Type Stick To Their Goals (30:10) - How Rebels Stick to Goals (33:20) - How Obligers Stick To Goals (35:45) - Can We Grow Into a Different Personality Type?  (39:10) - Why Obligers Are Not People Pleasers  (40:10) - How Questioners Stick to Goals (42:42) - What is the Arrival Fallacy? (45:45) - Gretchen's Approach to Breaking Bad Habits (49:20) - What is Gretchen's 22 Minutes of Rest for 2022 Challenge? (51:55) - Getting More Sleep to Be Happier (56:08) - What is the one actionable thing that our listeners can do today to be more profiting tomorrow? (59:45) - Gretchen's Secret To Profiting In Life Mentioned In The Episode: Better Than Before (Gretchen's book): https://gretchenrubin.com/books/better-than-before/about-the-book/  The Four Tendencies (Gretchen's book): https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/intro/  Take The Quiz: Gretchenrubin.com/take-the-quiz Happiness with Gretchen Rubin: https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/

On today's show, I talk about my word (phrase) of the year and what I'm hoping to do in 2022. Then, I talk about the importance of habit formation and give several strategies to build better habits.   As I begin to work on developing better habits this year, I want to point out that if you try to introduce too much change into your daily life, you're setting yourself up for failure. Humans are not great at reorganizing their entire day all at once. We have to start small (so don't make 10 New Year's resolutions and expect success).   You know those people who talk about willpower? Well, willpower is a crock. Willpower does not often get you to where you want to go. It's habit formation that gets you to your goals, and willpower only causes most of us to feel like failures.   Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project” and co-host of the Happier podcast, developed a concept and wrote a book about it a few years ago called “The Four Tendencies.” This framework is based on how a person meets inner and outer expectations. The four types are Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels. (Take the free quiz to learn what type you are.)   I'm a questioner, which means I have questions and need justifications before I'll commit to doing something. It also means outer accountability doesn't matter to me. It's why I don't care about joining a mastermind group or having an accountability partner. And I won't stick with a class just because I paid for.   But that type of accountability works well for obligers, who need accountability to meet inner and outer expectations. These are the people who, when they pay for that yoga class or tell a friend they'll exercise with them, it works. They do not want to let anyone down so they will show up. You can see how knowing your tendency will help figure out what you need as you start to create habits and try to commit to better habits or new goals.   In his book “Atomic Habits,” James Clear talks about making tiny, tiny habits, just a 1% change each day. So, want to start running? On that first day, just run around the block and come home. Don't push yourself. Don't go farther. It'll take 2 minutes.   That may sound ridiculous, but you need to focus on the process, routine and the change in your routine. Don't focus on the running; focus on the habit creation.   Starting is the hardest part. Katy Milkman is an economist who studies change behavior at the Wharton School. She was on Dan Harris' podcast Ten Percent Happier about how to change your habits. Katy talks about this problem of getting started. It's not about willpower. It's about the struggle to get started. And that requires habit formation.   Katy also talks about something called the “fresh start” effect—that time when we start a new job, or move to a new city, or when the school year starts in September when it feels like a fresh start. That's the perfect time to implement new habits.   January and the new year also feels like a “fresh start” to people and can be a perfect time to start new habits. We just have to be careful not to try to start too many at one time.   Gretchen Rubin would say before you start thinking about techniques to use to develop new habits you need to know yourself. That's why I recommend taking her Four Tendencies quiz. But, in addition, think about the kind of person you are. Are you a night owl? Then, you're never going to get up at 5 a.m. to exercise! Accept it and aim for a better habit that works for you.   A few habit formation strategies to try:   Pairing Pair the new habit with something you're already doing, preferably something you like. For me, that is walking while listening to podcasts—what I like to call Bod and Pod.   Accountability As I mentioned earlier, it doesn't work for everyone, but if works for you, try to build more accountability into your daily life. Maybe find an accountability partner who is also a freelance business owner.   Scheduling it Sounds obvious, but sometimes we just forget to work on our new habits, so put it on your calendar and to-do list and set timers.   Commit to a streak Start a 30-day challenge where you're going to do the new habit every day for 30 days.   Make it difficult or inconvenient Delete apps. Use the Freedom app to block social media websites.   Hide bad cues and display good cues. Put your phone in another room. Hide junk food. Keep your vitamin bottle visible. Put your water bottle near the front door.   Think about your future self. Future Melanie will be happy this summer if I already have a regular exercise routine established.   Biz Bite: Embrace hygge   The Bookshelf: “How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America” by Clint Smith   Resources: Join the Deliberate Freelancer Facebook group.   Support Deliberate Freelancer at Buy Me a Coffee.   Subscribe to the Deliberate Freelancer newsletter.   “Respair” tweet by Susie Dent   Book “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin   Take The Four Tendencies quiz   Book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear   Katy Milkman and her book “How to Change” and podcast “Choiceology”   Katy Milkman on Ten Percent Happier podcast: How to Change Your Habits   Yoga with Adriene   National Novel Writing Month   “A 180 in 365: My Year of Walking” by Alicia Chantal (blog post)   Episode #78 of Deliberate Freelancer: Building Your Community as a Newish Freelancer, with Alicia Chantal  

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the #1 New York Times and international bestseller, The Happiness Project. Her books have sold over 3.5 million copies and have been published in more than thirty languages. Her "Four Tendencies" personality framework on sustaining happiness divides people into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. More than 500,000 people have taken the quiz to figure out which tendency they hold, and you can to here. Millions of people read her blog each year, where she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness and habits. As you can probably tell, Gretchen is the real deal and we could go on and on. The last note is that listening to her podcast Happier with "Gretchen Rubin" has been referred to as "one of the 10 life-changing things to do" by BuzzFeed.Gretchen dives into her Four Tendencies framework, going over how you can self-assess and determine which one you fall under. This is determined by how you react to internal and external expectations and frames routine in a way that we've never experienced before. Why is this so important? It directly relates to your happiness. How often are you trying to mimic others' routines and processes for finding happiness and success? As you listen to this episode, debrief. Be honest with yourself and be confident. Do you hold yourself accountable? Or do you find motivation in knowing that an external party is counting on you? Consider this and the much deeper dive within the episode, and let's find a little more happiness moving into 2022. Gretchen Rubin and your host, George Leith leave you with some insights into your own happiness and some very realistic measures you can take to make your personal happiness not only more attainable but sustainable.Conquer Local is presented by Vendasta. We have proudly served 5+ million local businesses through 50,000+ channel partners. Learn more about Vendasta and we can help you build your dream agency or learn more about Vendasta's Affiliate Program and how our listeners (like yourself) are making up to $10,000 off referrals.Are you an entrepreneur, salesperson, or marketer? Keep the learning going in the Conquer Local Academy.

Have you ever considered that risk-taking is a muscle that needs to be regularly exercised? In this conversation with a productivity nerd, coach in Seth Godin's Akimbo community, and an entrepreneur at GoGoDone, Heather Chavin we talk about creating conditions to ship your work. We talk about how so many of us are obligers responding to the external rather than internal stimuli and why we need a powerful community to overcome that. We agree that it is important to mourn projects we say ‘no' to but still, it is the only way to do what matters as trying harder doesn't quite work. We also discuss the importance of listening to our bodies and our brains as they are pretty clear about what is good for us at a given moment.LINKSGoGoDone websiteGoGoPublish website“Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success” by Benjamin Hardy“Permission marketing” by Seth Godin“The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)” by Gretchen Rubin“Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life” by Gretchen Rubin“The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin“Steal like an artist” by Austin Kleon“Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” by  Greg McKeown

In this episode, Sarah opens with a discussion of planning tips for Obligers, inspired by a listener comment. Then she moves to a discussion about planning retreats -- how to devote an entire day (or more!) to planning, whether it is for work, personal, or with one's partner. She shares her experiences recently helping her husband plan as well (hopefully he will be a guest soon!). Finally, she answers a listener planner matchmaking request - two pages per day PLUS a weekly layout? Not an easy find!

Have you ever thought or said, "Your lack of planning is not my emergency" or are you some who has thought or said, "I don't want to, but I will, anyway." In this episode, we introduce to you all the Four Tendencies based on the book written by Gretchen Rubin. The four tendencies that are based on our nature are Upholder, Obliger, Rebel, and Questioner.In part one of this two-part topic, we discuss expectations and how two out of the four tendencies deal with outer and inner expectations. And how to understand the Upholders and Obligers in our lives and how to communicate with these two tendencies. If you would like to find out which tendency you tend to lean to when dealing with expectations, you can click on the link below to take the test. https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies-quiz/ Thank you for listening. Please subscribe, share, comment, turn on the notification bell, and leave a review. And remember "When you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life"Connect with us!Email: Knowyourpassionpodcast@gmail.com Website:https://knowyourpassionpodcast.buzzsprout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keychalogic/, @know_your_passion_podcast

In episode 28 of the Done with Dieting Podcast, I'm talking all about accountability; specifically, the difference between internal and external accountability - What Gretchen Rubin differentiates Upholders from Obligers in her book, The Four Tendencies. As women, we're socialized to put other people's wants and needs before our own. So of course it makes sense that most of us can keep commitments to others, but not ourselves. But this quality is changeable. I know because *I* used to not be able to keep commitments to myself. But now I can. And if we ever want to be able to ‘get consistent', or ‘be disciplined', putting ourselves and our needs on the list of priorities, is a MUST. To learn more about the Feel Good Sisterhood, go to https://elizabethsherman.com/groupcoaching Get full show notes and more information here: https://elizabethsherman.com/podcast/28

“You can really understand your tendency... and then use it to get what you want!”- ShinahDo you have trouble “sticking” to an art, craft, or other creative thing?Have you gone through countless different creative outlets without ever really developing a real practice?Do you have what I like to call a “guilty craft closet” in your home?Then this is the episode for you!Before finding calligraphy, I tried a TON of creative things... woodworking, watercolors, you name it. And none of them lasted for more than a month or two.The influential self-help writer Gretchen Rubin has actually done a lot of work figuring out WHY people have so much trouble establishing solid habits and how to address their issues — and it all comes down to personality types. Her 4 Tendencies framework divides people up into four categories: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.Since I figured out my own personality type, I've been able to strengthen my habits... and work WITH my personality instead of against it.Are you ready to hack your habit-making and create some more consistency in your life?Tune into this episode of The Shinah Show to find out:The four different personality types according to writer Gretchen Rubin — and how they relate to your ability to stick with a creative practiceWhy embracing your tendency is super helpful in terms of creating habitsHow I pushed through my fear and resistance and became a calligraphy teacherHighlights:‌ ‌00:36  Trouble “sticking” with a creative practice?01:14  The 4 tendencies  06:03  Embracing your tendency  07:25  Setting habits as an Obliger09:15  My calligraphy-teaching story10:47  Every tendency is valid!11:16  Try my free workshop!Links:‌ ‌The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (And Other People's Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubinhttps://gretchenrubin.com/the-four-tendencies The ‘Find Your Calligraphy Style' Challenge!https://crookedcalligraphy.lpages.co/style ‌Learn calligraphy with me: www.freecalligraphyworkshop.comFollow me!Instagram: @crookedcalligraphyfacebook.com/crookedcalligraphy Show notes can be found at theshinahshow.comWatch these episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVJJZS9jYDmzePAnaGDiFuw Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel, and ring the bell for notifications so you never miss an episode!

This week, Lisa and Aimee wonder why they have so much trouble forming good habits—and sticking to them—even when they know doing so will make them happier.  They are joined by Gretchen Rubin, host of the podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin” and author of the New York Times-bestselling book The Happiness Project. Gretchen explains her Four Tendencies framework—which posits that each of us fall into one of the following four categories: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—and how understanding your personality profile can help you better incentivize wanted behaviors and habits for yourself.   Like the show? Send us a note at anxiously@tabletmag.com. Follow us on Instagram @anxiouslypod and on Twitter @anxiouslypod.    Our theme music is by Low Cut Connie.   Check out all of Tablet's podcasts at tabletmag.com/podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I talk to one of the most thought-provoking and influential writers on the subjects of happiness, habits and human nature. Gretchen Rubin has sold over 3 million books worldwide and also hosts the Happier with Gretchen podcast.We begin the conversation discussing what happiness really means and why so many of us struggle with it. Happiness is such an elusive concept and Gretchen believes that it’s more helpful to think about being happier – to ask ourselves things like ‘if I do this, will I be happier next month or next year?’ or ‘will this bring me more love and less things like guilt, anger, resentment?’ These are simple questions that can actually make a profound difference to our lives.We also talk about the fact that happiness does not mean that we will feel good all of the time. Sometimes we do things because they're meaningful, or because they serve a higher value even though they don’t make us feel good in that moment.If you are stuck in your life and feel as though you are not getting nourished by either your work or life situation but don’t know what to do, Gretchen shares some brilliant strategies to help guide you onto the right path. We also discuss how we can encourage our kids to find the right path for them.We move on to talk about Gretchen’s insightful book, The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too). When researching human nature, Gretchen realised that by asking the simple question 'How do I respond to expectations?', we can gain life changing self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer to this question, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. I think you will love discovering what tendency you and those around you have. We discuss exactly what those tendencies are and how knowing them gives us six key benefits - we’re more likely to achieve our aims, make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet promises to ourselves, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others. The wonderful thing about understanding these tendencies is that not only do we get the best from ourselves, we get the best out of other people as well.I really think that everyone will see themselves (and those around them) in one of these tendencies and that understanding them will improve the way you interact with yourself and others.Show notes available at https://drchatterjee.com/181Follow me on instagram.com/drchatterjee/Follow me on facebook.com/DrChatterjee/Follow me on twitter.com/drchatterjeeukDISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Here’s another great episode from our Meetup Monday where we talk about life-changing and empowering topics --- live. The beauty of joining Meetup Monday is you can ask questions and get answers in real-time. In today’s episode, it’s all about emotionally driven people and the things that they need to know to level up. If you’ve ever figured out that you’re emotionally driven and you’re having a hard time with your business or self-improvement journey, then this episode is going to be valuable for you.We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on LinkedIn, Instagram, or via email Website

Today’s episode is a speech we did at Mass Maritime Academy on Valentine’s week which is of course, all about love and relationships. More specifically, how to make sure that you'll have a fulfilling one. One of the reasons why we love talking about this is because we've seen and heard so many who say that relationships are "easy" and almost always, they fail at theirs. What they fail to understand is that being in a relationship takes effort to make it last. So we want to make sure that we share what we know to help others. If you are in a relationship and you want to make this last, then this episode is for you. We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on LinkedIn, Instagram, or via email Website

In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life. During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought... · People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself. · How can I help someone to follow good advice? · People say I ask too many questions. · How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask or who keeps telling me what to do? With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

#53 Get to Know Yourself -5 Best Personality Tests to Help You Live and Work Better “To know thyself, is the beginning of wisdom” -Socrates Getting to know yourself is the first step in personal development, learning new skills, and growth or learning. These four personality tests, plus the last one is more a journal prompt, can help you to identify where you are and in what area’s you can grow. 5 Favorite Personality Tests 4 Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin –Upholders, Obligers, questioners, rebels https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/   Enneagram- 9 Types https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test   Emotional Intelligence test -Institute for Health and Human Potential - https://www.ihhp.com/free-eq-quiz/   Sarah’s Youtube Video about Emotional Intelligence with Joe Shaffner: https://youtu.be/EPQFQt74apk   Myers Briggs Type indicator and the 16 types -most widely used, helps you know yourself better so you can better communicate, relate, learn, and grow. https://www.16personalities.com/   VITALS Journal Prompts by Psychology Today-What are your values, interests, temperament, around the clock activities, life mission and meaning, and strengths? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201603/know-yourself-6-specific-ways-know-who-you-are Taking these traits quizzes are a fun way to learn about yourself and where you can start to learn and grow.   Want to really spark the productivity and joy? You need some vitamin D, this Light Therapy Lamp is my favorite! This Taotronics light therapy lamp is UV free and works to make your body produce more vitamin D. Kiss SAD or the winter blues goodbye because this little light will help you to feel happier, more focuses, and it even helps you sleep better. Want to know the best part? It’s only $37 and Amazon Prime will deliver it tomorrow! Sponsored by Light Therapy Lamp Click HERE https://www.micultivatebalance.com/favorite-products Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this episode take a screenshot, post to Facebook or Instagram and tag me! And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast to let us know your key takeaways. Connect with Sarah Zastrow Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/micultivatebalance/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/micultivatebalance/ Website https://www.micultivatebalance.com/ Pinterest Page: https://www.pinterest.com/micultivatebalance/ YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMVcExxS1xgVghkfXQ7e

With every 100th episode, we have a very special episode where listeners can ask us anything. We discuss how we were raised, how we prepare to record the podcast, tips for Obligers, why Elizabeth has such a deep love of reality TV, and more. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/300 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this podcast we update everyone on strategies that work really well with questioners. We've covered Obligers and Upholders in previous podcast. This week we take on questioners. Remember these strategies can work for anyone so if you hear something that resonates with you do it! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/matt-parrish/message

Robyn, the co-founder of Marketplace Blueprint, a digital agency that specializes in listing optimization and advertising on Amazon joins My Amazon Guy for a podcast on black swan events. She has over a decade of experience of selling online on Amazon, eBay, and other eCommerce venues. Exciting to have such a great expert on for our 100th podcast episode!What’s your storyHealth near death experience, blood clot in lung, thyroid cancer. “When things are going well, you don’t think to take time to have backup and set up ready to go and network to rely upon for unexpected growth”Happy habits https://www.businessinsider.com/gretchen-rubin-the-four-tendencies-framework-2017-4Upholders generally meet both inner and outer expectations, meaning they don't let others or themselves down.Questioners meet only inner expectations. They push back against and question all expectations. Above all, they do something only if they think it makes sense — they hate anything arbitrary.Obligers meet outer expectations but not always inner ones. In other words, they usually need some form of external accountability.Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations. They value authenticity and self-determination.Growing businessSometimes you need a year of plateau to get big growth.5% growth each year vs 0% one year and 50% the nextWhat laptop are you using to get Amazon passive income?Rich dad poor dad https://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Poor-Teach-Middle/dp/1612680194https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonlechter/What’s on your mind?When Amazon makes a change, why are they trying to solve?Q4AdsLogisticsMake sure cash flow in place3PL in place, MFN not just FBAProfitCan’t talk to someone at Amazon catalog teamManagement by abdication It’s also about Rocket Fuel About Robyn Johnson:Starting with only $100 taken from their emergency fund, she built a seven-figure business selling on Amazon and eBay in just a few short years. In the years since then, Robyn has not only continued to sell directly on Amazon but also to build a consulting and coaching business working with the most successful resellers in the space. Robyn is a regular contributor for Search Engine Journal and speaks at some of the most prestigious Amazon and Ecommerce conferences in the US and abroad. She has written a best selling book on Amazon called The Unlikely Entrepreneur about her journey starting her business. She has hosted multiple successful podcasts, including the Unstoppable Entrepreneur Show and the Marketplace Blueprint Podcast. Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/myamazonguy)

In today’s episode of The Decision Corner, we are joined by Gretchen Rubin, a writer, speaker, and influencer on the subjects of happiness, habits, and human nature. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the number one New York Times bestseller, The Happiness Project. Her books have sold over 3.5 million copies and been published in more than thirty languages globally. Gretchen has spoken at places such as GE, Google, LinkedIn, Accenture, Facebook, Procter & Gamble, Yale Law School, Harvard Business School, and Wharton as well as at conferences such as SXSW, World Domination Summit, the Atlantic, Alt Design, and Behance’s 99u. Gretchen graduated from Yale University with a BA in English in 1989 and a J.D in 1994, where she served as the Editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal. Some of her specialties include habits, happiness, positive psychology, writing, memoirs, blogging, social media, self-improvement, self-help, non-fiction, and podcasts. Her "Four Tendencies" personality framework divides people into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels, which will both be routinely mentioned throughout this episode. You can take the quick, free quiz here. In this episode, we discuss: The four tendencies and their respective idiosyncrasies The validity of psychological frameworks and when they can be useful How to communicate with people more effectively so that they follow through with important behaviors What kinds of problems are best suited for the four tendency taxonomy Individual versus gender-based differences in behavior Public service messages that work for all four tendencies The brilliance of the Don’t mess with Texas campaign Leveraging big data to test messaging with different tendencies

Forming new habits is really tough. Knowing yourself better will help you develop routines and habits that stick. In our last podcast, we discussed Gretchen Rubin's framework of The Four Tendencies to help identify how you meet inner and outer expectations. Our next few podcasts will focus on how to use your specific tendency to build long lasting change. We start with the most common group - the Obligers - and offer three tangible strategies to building habits that work well for Obligers. Stay tuned for more tips and tricks in upcoming episodes as we cover the other tendencies - Upholders, Questioners, and Rebels. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/matt-parrish/message

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin – ReRelease appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin – ReRelease appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Gretchen Rubin: The Four Tendencies.

This week on The Bellas Podcast, the twins take the Four Tendencies quiz, created by happiness expert Gretchen Rubin! First, Nikki and Brie open up about their biggest fears and what they're most excited for about childbirth. Then, the Bella Twins welcome Gretchen to dig into the meaning behind their quiz results, and to share tips on how to be happier and handle a career change. Plus, the Bellas respond to a listener voicemail about going vegan in Dear Bellas. Show us some love by leaving a 5-star rating and a review with your favorite part of the podcast. Tweet your questions with the #BellasPodcast hashtag for Brie and Nikki to answer on future episodes.

For this Very Special Episode, Elizabeth and I discuss listener questions related to my “Four Tendencies” Personality Framework of Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—plus a spotlight on essayist Samantha Irby. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/280 Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

NOTE: These episodes were recorded before the COVID-19 situation took hold. Given the rapidly changing situation, it’s jarring to hear us ignore it—and that’s why. We discuss why you might limit yourself to one option, we highlight a listener’s brilliant self-care solution for Obligers (the secret is a pillbox), and Chris Guillebeau joins us to talk about his new novel “The Money Tree.”  Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/268 Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Remember the days in the old school yard, we used to talk about crocs a lot. Well, that's how we recall it, as we get misty-eyed about primary school games in this Shadowlands recap. But does everyone have the same fond memories? Bluey vs Coco gets Kate thinking about Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies (Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels, obvs - take the quiz!) But Mary has no time for categorising humans (or books about the topic, apparently!) The bigger question though - is Bluey all about rule-following, or rule-breaking? Plus Lydian Mode delivers a magical musical interlude, mystery origins of What's the Time Mr/Mrs Wolf, gaslighting your children (well, Mary's child) and school hat fashion statements - and we're double-parking cupcakes on the sprint to finish S1!     ++ Gotta Be Done is ex-journos and Melbourne mums Kate McMahon and Mary Bolling, as we deep-dive on every Bluey episode, with plenty of detours into mama life, childhood memories, and everything else we're bingeing, too! Follow us on Insta at @blueypod @marytbolling @katejmcmahon or on Twitter at @blueypodcast - and use #blueypod to join in.

Obligers, people-pleasing, and boundaries, oh my! My friend, Jordan Richter, joins us this week to talk about boundaries and shine light on The Four Tendencies, a personality framework created by Gretchen Rubin to describe types with regards to our expectations for ourselves and others. One of the personality types, we found, goes hand in hand with boundaries! Listen to Jordan's in-depth overview of each of the types, their strategies for habit change, and she even shares her personal experience with blurred boundaries.This is a link to get more info about the book, The Four Tendencies https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/intro/Follow Gretchen on Instagram to learn more! @gretchenrubin

How John and Rosemary paid off $66,000 in 32 months while still eating healthy and not sacrificing nutrition to do it. Rosemary and John, cofounders of Flourish Fundamentals are both Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioners. They are helping the FIRE community optimize their health as much as they optimize their finances. You can learn more about them on their website: flourishfundamentals.com and sign up for their 30 day reset program here: https://www.flourishfundamentals.com/flourish-fundamentals-30-day-reset-calling-beta-testers/ Resources mentioned in this episode: The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin (https://amzn.to/2ts9QDf)(affiliate link) Free Meal Planning Sheet (www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/mealplan) Full Transript: Hey, today we are talking to Rosemary and John about how they paid off their debt and how they are optimizing health and nutrition for the fire community. So welcome Rosemary and John, thank you for having us. Thank you, Ashley. Thanks for being here. And just to, before we jump in, can you guys kind of tell me about yourselves and kind of what you guys do? Yeah, absolutely. So, uh, I guess that you could call us the token, uh, nutrition people in the [inaudible] space. Um, we both sort of got into this financial independence step free community after we were getting out of debt and we had this background in nutrition and saw that a lot of the recommendations around reducing expenses involved like just eat rice and beans. And that was a little bit, yeah, no, no. So, um, we realized that there was really a need for people to talk about the importance of your own health and be able to teach people to empower them to be able to take care of their own health so that, um, they come, you know, they're more in a position of power when it comes to their own health and not just fingers crossed. Hope you don't get sick. Yeah, yeah. Just not eating ramen noodles and all right. They definitely, there's a sweet spot where we wish we can talk about more later, where you can keep costs down pretty low without sacrificing health. So for example, before we started getting out of debt, when we examined our grocery budget, we were like anywhere from $1,000 a month to 1500 for two bucks. And then we cut that in half. And then we were able to do that and we thought, you know what, let's try to cut it in half again just to see if we can do it. And we did. Um, and I'd say now we sort of settled between 400 to $500, but it's still may sound like a lot to some people listening, but we can get into more about what that actually means. Yeah, that's really not bad. I mean, for most people that I talk to, and it's true for myself, um, you know, with that was our biggest category was, um, of course it wasn't as healthy as you guys were at, you know, as fast food, convenience foods, things like that. But, and so that is definitely an area where people can improve, um, with managing their money as well as their health. So I'm so glad that, um, you guys are doing that and, you know, giving people other options besides just rice and beans. Yes. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be, you know, crazy expensive. We're not talking whole foods every week. There's other strategies to do it, like buying a whole cow or that sort of thing. So anyway, we'll get there, we'll get pasta, there'll be delicious and that's, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I would not compromise if this was not delicious food. So before we jump into eating healthy and cutting costs on food, why don't we jump into like your debt pay off story? How much did you guys pay off and [inaudible] how fast did you do it? So we started with 66 in debt, um, a mix of credit cards and some family loans. By the way, there was a little bit for me, mass majority, I made much more or much less intelligent choices. Yeah. But we got that paid off in 32 months was that was the total and most of the time we were on just one salary. Right. Wow, that's pretty amazing. So were you guys, um, just tell me how this started. Were you guys on the same page or was it one of your guys's idea and then kinda had to drag the other one in? Yeah, I mean, I think we were, we, the way I was raised with sort of the Dave Ramsey, you know, never like credit cards were a bad word in our family. So I never got into debt and never had a credit card. And John had come from sort of a different position. I was raised to believe that credit cards are an emergency fund and so sure enough I used them as such. Yeah. Yeah. I believe your dad had once said that he was doing Dave Ramsey before Dave Ramsey was doing. Dave Ramsey describes that. Yeah. So my family's always been really frugal. But Dave Ramsey actually sort of part of our story, right? Yeah. That's sort of how it started is um, well we went to go see a financial planner actually before we got married. We knew we were going to get married and so we wanted to discuss just sort of like what should we be doing now financially. And that was I think where we had the first conversation about how much debt was on the table. Couples normally have that conversation like when they're alone. And in the first time that number was named was like the three of us in a room. And I was like, Oh wow, okay. Yeah. Cause I think you have like 40,000 at that point or something like that. Right before we got married. So anyway, but I, but I knew like, that's okay, we can, we can figure this out, we know what to do, we just won't spend any excess money, obviously we'll get this paid off first thing. And like, I knew we, we knew we wanted to get married. So at that point it was like package deal, husband plus debt hashtag that fluff. But yeah, soon after we got married, I picked up Dave Ramsey's book, total money makeover. I don't even remember where I found it. If it was like a little free library or the literal literal literal library, that's hard to say. Um, but I just sort of read through it and then I think John picked it up. I hadn't been on the coffee table one day and yeah, I had just been flipping through it, so I left it out. Yeah. And John was flipping through it and, uh, you know, started reading it in earnest and I remember we were both linked together in bed one evening and you sort of shut the book and you looked at me and said, okay, I'm ready, let's do this. And I was like, really? Wow. I didn't even have to, yeah, that's awesome. You guys were like together on the same page pretty much from the get go, so that I'm sure that makes it so much easier and faster to get it done. Definitely. Well, I think you'd always all always wanted to pay off debt. I tried many times, but it never stuck, um, for number of reasons which we can get into. But um, but yeah, the sort of, the way he had laid it out in the book, it was just very, very compelling to me. And once that light bulb went off, I was all in. And that's how I tend to be about things. If, if something is compelling and makes sense to me, I will, Oh, you know, I can turn on a dime on things. [inaudible] that sounds like me where I did two things. Yes. Yeah, that makes sense. If they make sense. Yeah. John's very persuaded by logic. If you're familiar with Gretchen Rubin, she has this framework of like four tendencies for different types of people. And John is the question or type, which means he'll do something if it makes sense to him, but not if it doesn't. So for him reading that logic of like, here's how the flow works, here's why it works and here's the steps. For him it was like, Oh, that's enough. I'm convinced. Okay, let's do it. So we sort of dove in and started making a plan, examining our expenses, expenses, looking at what are the things that we really need, what are the things that are actually just wants, right. And that goalpost changes. I think as you know, as you get more into this, what is, what was once considered a need. A lot of those things that moved over into the want column and that that one column keeps getting bigger or things that were in the need column that need copy gets smaller and smaller. So I think that's one of the main thing is it changed. And I mean really it was, it really was shocking to us, at least to me. Um, just how much a difference, making a budget changed our spending. Be more intentional about spending. I mean, at the time we were both full time making over a hundred K a year combined and there was nothing left at the end of the month. There was always more month than money left. Um, and we weren't spending like crazy either. I mean, yeah, we only had one car. It was 2006. Right. But it was just, you know, no mortgage, Nope, no kids. But it was just all the little stuff. Oh, I want this book. We'll go on Amazon and get it. Yeah, go get a manicure, whatever. Lots of fiddly little stuff that you, ah, where did all the money go? So what were some of the, some of the things that you, um, cut back on or changed in order to manage your money better and get the debt paid off? Sure. Um, well definitely having a budget was huge. Um, doing the, initially we did the Dave Ramsey thing where you actually had physical envelopes where you put cash into each spending category at the end of the month and then only spend from those cash envelopes. We eventually ended up switching to simple the online bank and stat and doing sort of online digital envelopes. We'd still earmark money at the end of the month because what we found is in practice, even though using cash does happen, a more emotional sort of visceral component, which sort of as Dave Ramsey would say, makes you probably spend less money in practice. It didn't really work cause we often forget the envelopes when we'd go out. You know, if you're buying something online, it was hard to then sort of square the budget that way. So w we're big believers in this idea that the imperfect method you stick to is far better than the perfect method. You don't actually do. Absolutely. So as long as you're doing something right direction that's more important. That definitely helped was having that the earmark money and then realizing, okay, our grocery money is spent so we know we're sticking to this Kansas sardines we have in the, yeah, in terms of like what were the actual things that we cut out of that as expenses. At the beginning, it was all those frivolous little things that we didn't, the obvious stuff, you know, the low hanging fruit. Like, okay, do we need to go out to the movie theater every once in a while or can we rent DVDs from the library and watch them at home and make our fancy popcorn. We do this fancy popcorn that we make at home with them. Butter and truffle oil and we like sort of relish that. It's like so fancy popcorn. Um, so we started doing movies at home. Um, anytime we wanted a book we request it from the library or if they had a library already, just get it. The library. Um, quick pro tip, if people don't use their libraries, this is mind blowing to me, but can go to library and if they don't have the book you can just request for them to get it. And I've never had them not get the book I requested. I've requested probably a dozen by this point, you know, my tax dollars at work I guess. But uh, yeah. And other quick tangent for those that maybe are used to buying books and then writing in their books. That's sort of one of my meditations is underlining sentences. So that took a little bit of an adjustment for me, but it's actually now it's a pro instead of a con because what I find is that by having to write out quotes that I like from books, I actually increased my connection with the material and my ability to remember it. Whereas before I just underline it and then forget it. So, so other things are, we were going to, we originally were thinking about, Oh, do we need a second car? But then we decided, Nope, we'll stick to this one, make different places. So we just made it work. You know, one person would drop off the other and go to walk or we'd walk. Um, what else did we do? We certainly examined our grocery budget and tried to look at some other ways to, um, reduce, we can come back to that. That's, that's a big HBO now. Um, Amazon prime, Netflix, Hulu. I mean we had like all four of 'em piddly little things, but all those little things added up to big results. Yes. Well, one thing we did eventually was, um, stopped going to get our haircut at a barber shop or a hairdresser. I started just buzzing my hair instead. I like having shorter hair anyway. And so we just bought ourselves a pair of Clippers at Costco and it pays [inaudible]. Yeah. And for a while I was watching YouTube videos on how to cut my own hair. Yes or no. Now I'm like, eh, I'll go get my haircut. I'll just do it less frequently. Um, so those were some of the small things in terms of the [inaudible], the big, big one being housing. Um, we did actually leave that place. We were living at the time because John left a job that wasn't really working out for him. Um, and we moved in with family who had a baby on the way and we said, Hey, can we come? You know, we'll help look after the baby if we can stay in the little, you know, they had a mother in law suite in the back of the house and they said, of course, come on down. So we actually live with them for a little over a year. I was in the bro pair, so, um, that was honestly such a, uh, that was very, very generous of them to let us stay with them. But then not having that rent payment for awhile meant that we could, you know, uh, pay down debt at a pretty Swift rate, um, with, with, even though we were down to one salary at that point. That's awesome. So that really, I'm sure that really helped speed up the process and get this knocked out even down to one income. That's pretty amazing. Now what were some of the things with meal prepping and food that you want to talk about to cut costs but yet not compromise your health? Sure. I think the number one thing to point out first is that the focus should always be on what's called nutrient density and not on calories. So a lot of people will say, Oh, this meal hasX calories, so it's good or it's great, or it's this many dollars per calorie. And from our perspective as people trained in nutrition, that is just not the ideal way to go. Yeah, you really want to focus on nutrient density, um, which you know, is just what, what's going to get you. So, you know, you have macro nutrients like proteins, fats and carbohydrates, and then you have micronutrients, which are all the vitamins and minerals. So when we're talking about nutrient density, we're talking about those micronutrients there. So, um, so for us that looked like we were, uh, you can, for example, we talked about this a little bit earlier, but buying like a whole cow or a half a cow or even a quarter cow, you can go in with people and split up the meat. That really reduces the cost to, you know, four or five, three or four or $5 per pound depending on where you are. And you can still get really good quality, uh, grass fed, grass finished meat and support farmers who are raising their animals. In a way that is sustainable and not just sustainable sealant land, but is actually restoring the land so that it's better for everybody. Um, we started actually sprouting lentils and using that to stretch ground meat, which sounds weird, but in sprouting them, you are increasing the nutrient nutrition in the bioavailability, nerdy. You're increasing how your, how your body is able to absorb and use the nutrients gained. The, you know, you can sprout, you can soak and sprout, you know, all sorts of things. But basically you're doing is you're tricking that seed into thinking that it's already planted in the ground. And so then it will sort of turn off its natural defenses because normally the problem with legumes and nuts and seeds is that they have this protective shell that makes them really hard to digest. And so even people say, Oh, there's all these vitamins and minerals in these foods. You can't really get at it unless you do some, some sort of trickery. And so that's what the soaking the sprouting. So that's, yeah, so we did the sprouted lentils and we would make that one for one with ground beef. Um, I really like fermenting vegetables. So we would do our own sauerkraut and stuff, which is a natural and super cheap source of probiotics. Super simple, really intimidating. It's literally cabbage, salt and amaze and dark and time and time and not much time. Yeah. Yeah. Um, let's see, what else were we doing? We definitely changed where we were shopping, so I'd say before we, I mean it was, we just didn't really give it a second thought as to where we were shopping. So buying more in bulk, um, buying locally and in season makes things a lot cheaper. That was super helpful. Um, and then, you know, since then I've been doing a lot more sort of bartering and trading, which is new to me, but I know people have been doing that for centuries. Like for example, um, uh, this summer I have been helping out with, uh, actually where we get our meat, our farmers, they invited me to come help. Well, I offered to volunteer at their booth and they said, we'll pay you, you've all, and told them, I volunteered them that I was going to help them at their farmer's market and they said, we'll pay you. So I basically just get paid in meat now. And so that's also, it does help reduce our grocery budget. That was that. And then just a quick tangent on meat. So we've said that word a few times. I know that's kind of a controversial topic to a lot of people. We intentionally do consume it as nutritionist because it's one of the most nutrient dense foods on the planet, especially things like liver. Um, you know, people talk about quote unquote super foods and they'll mention things like Asai berries or KL. I was like, those things are great, but if you were to put a table of nutrients and put those side aside, they don't hold a candle. Yeah. Nutrient density. Like we can get into organ meats too as another cheap source of great nutrition. But, um, there's another, uh, another functional nutrition therapy practitioner of there. And she, she was said, um, I'm pretty sure that all the, the like answers to nutritional problems can be solved with liver. I wish it were ice cream, but I'm pretty sure it's liver. He's so much better if it was ice cream. So much better. Yeah. Actually that was another one. We did start cooking a little bit more with organ meats, which are, the benefit of those is that they're so rich in nutrients and they're really good for you, so likes, they're cheaper, they're cheaper. So, um, if you eat heart, it's good for your heart. If you eat liver, it's good for your liver, et cetera. Um, and I think, you know, especially in our culture, a lot of us are really squeamish about organ meats, but there's ways that you can prepare them that aren't too freaky, that don't taste weird and that you know, your, your kids and your husband will eat too and not know. For example, you can mix in a little bit of like meatballs for example. And you know, spices and herbs and things that can help cover up the flavor. Resurrection. She wrote a whole post on the blog about easy ways to eat liver and other organ meats. Yeah. Cause I hate liver so I'm always trying to find, I know, but I know it's so good for me so I'm always trying to find ways to get it in my diet. She actually makes her own liver pills. Yeah. I make desiccated liver capsules cause I'm a weirdo. But anyway, it was expensive. You can make them really cheap. Yeah. This is, this is me being like I'm not going to pay $50 for a bottle of 120 capsules of desiccated liver. I'm going to figure out how to do it myself. $5. And you've got some resources on your website that kind of gives people these ideas cause I'm like, Oh yeah, eat liver. I don't like it. Yes. Yeah. Actually so, well, one thing that is a really good kind of introduction is if you make like a chicken liver Patty, if you just Google parte, it's basically liver plus butter plus herbs and you can do that on, you know, carrot sticks or cucumber slices and it's sort of like a good little dip. Yeah, it's really good. Chicken liver in general is much more mild livers of quote unquote ruminant animals. Cows. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say if you're starting out do a chicken liver potty, that's a good way to dip your toes in the water. Yeah, you're really liked me and you really, really can't do any of the tastes. I think it is worth it to get like a in capsule form because it's just so good for you. Like livers rich in B vitamins, which give you energy, iron Coleen. It's good for the brain. It's good for your own liver and your own body's detox mechanisms. So yeah, huge fan of organ meat over here coming up. So Oregon meats buying a whole cow soaking and sprouting lentils. Oh, a quick thing about the lentils and the ground meat. So ground meat is another strategy on itself on its own because it tends to be much, much cheaper per pound. Yes. We switched from like steaks, you know, I'm doing more things with gardens. Yeah. I love me a good steak but more expensive per pound. So yeah, having ground meat most of the time doing meatballs, things like that. Yeah. Now what about, um, cause I kinda switched to like ground chicken and ground pork. Is that healthier than like ground beef? Insane, kind of the same idea or no fear? I'd say they're fine. Um, yeah, so there is this notion that red meat is unhealthy. That's a really, really common belief. It's just flat out not true. There's a lot of myths. That's why a whole other podcast, we don't have that here, but you can easily, you can easily look into, um, there's, there was a lot of shoddy science, a lot of vested interests, um, a lot of politics, so into that. So, um, as so I'm a certified in functional nutrition. I can tell you that's just not true. Um, but if you don't like it, that's, I think often that's where I come to is if you like other meats more or if you like fish like fine, go for it. Um, or if you are a vegetarian, like there are ways to at least optimize your nutrition within those restrictions. You know, having more eggs for example, or having full fat dairy. So other than those things, um, yeah, it really, I think it was mostly sort of the aggregation of small gains that really just added up over time and then continually going back and looking at our budget again. Every month we do a thing called open loops for each week we'll meet and have sort of a budget party and we'll look at, we'll get all our spending for the week. We'll review upcoming events or upcoming expenses and sort of make it fun. Um, which actually that's another sort of tangent. One of the things we did while we were paying off debt to help make that fine as every time we'd make a debt payment, we'd literally do a dance, happy dance, happy dance. We'd like hold hands and jump up and down and it sounds so ridiculous, but we look forward to that so much like every time that we, you know, every time that our paychecks would come over, like yes, we get a pay off debt and do her happy dance. And so, um, I like anytime you're trying to establish a habit like that, I would highly recommend the happy dance because it just, it gives you a little burst of excitement and it, it's, once you, it makes you want to do that behavior more. Yeah. She helps create a new habit loop. Yes. Highly recommend the happy dance. I think there's a video of it on our Instagram now. Do you guys have any tips or advice for couples that maybe aren't quite on the same page of maybe just like working together compromising so that you can reach your bigger goal? Yeah, this is a really, I think, important and interesting topic to me. Um, I really think it's important not to push, not to nag, you know, each person has to come to this on their own and they have to have buy-in intrinsically. In fact, we could talk more about the Gretchen Rubin four tenancies again here I think because especially if your partner is what's called a rebel, the more you push and the more you talk about this, the more they're going to resist and push back. So just stepping back a bit. So, um, I mentioned Gretchen Rubin earlier, but she's, um, an author and also a podcast or who has developed, she had wrote a book called the four tendencies. So it's this framework of four different tendencies of people and they differ based on how they respond to expectation. So she says like internal expectation might be like a new year's resolution, whereas external expectation could be like a work deadline or something your partner wants you to do. Um, so there are these four types which are upholder, obliger, questioner and rebel. And so they'll uphold both internal and external expectations. So you give them something to do, no problem, checkbox, they'll do it. Don't even have to ask them again. Um, anything they want to do, like adopting a new habit, done, no problem. Obligers or aspire to be. How do you just, you just make up your mind and you just do it. How is that possible? Um, and then you've got the obligers. So for them it's, it's hard for them to accomplish something, uh, less. They know they have accountability, so they'll do the things that are external expectations, but it's hard for them to stick to internal expectation. Then there's the question or type, which like, John, uh, they will do something if essentially what they're doing is turning it into internal expectation if they go, yep, that makes sense. With my logic and the way I see the world. And if it doesn't make sense, then they're like, well that's silly. You know, that that doesn't make sense. So that is external. If it's a rule or if somebody in authority says you have to do this thing, if it doesn't make sense, I'm not going to do it. Yeah. And then the last one is the rebel type. So rebels, which is what I am, I'm resist internal and external expectations. So you can tell rebels if you say, I, you know, you can't do that or I bet you couldn't do X. The rebel will say, watch me. So I have, um, you know, one thing I always say is that it's best to just assume that everybody is a rebel and then you'll always do, it's a safe assumption. So I think that in doing that, you, you always have to make the rebel think that it's their idea. They have to come to that conclusion on their own. So one exercise that I think is really useful that I heard about, um, uh, the, have you heard the, you've seen the plane with fire documentary? Um, I haven't watched it now. Okay. So, well anyway, in that when the husband in that documentary is bringing up to the wife, uh, what, what he had to do was make a list of the 10 things that make you happiest. And so it was like, you know, spending time with my baby, like spending time with my husband, hearing my baby laugh, you know, a glass of wine, chocolate, whatever. And then the approach became, okay, how can we get more of these things that make us the happiest in our life? And so viewing it that way, how can we get more of what we already want instead of where should we we or should we cut money? Right? You know, where should we cut expenses? It's about, okay, let's figure out how to strategize to get more of the things that we want. So like for us, that was freedom, fulfillment, being close to family, being able to work from home. And so we've made a lot of sacrifices and a lot of decisions for us to get more of those things that we want. So I'd say if you approach your partner, have proposed that exercise, say like, look, let's both take a piece of paper, we'll go away, we'll write down the 10 things that bring us the most joy and then we'll come together and compare our lists and that. Yeah, that that's what they did in playing with fire. That's what they talked about in the book that they wrote. And I really liked that because, because when you approach things from what do you want, how do you get more of the things that you want? It's something that you're running towards, not something that you're running away from. Right. And it just seems more like a world of possibility and there's room for creativity and figuring out how do we do this rather than, okay we have to cut more money. I guess we're really, you know, we really need to cut out spending here. Like that's not motivating or not sustainable. Exactly. Cause inevitably is it both partners are not fully [inaudible]. You know, in it, one partner who doesn't really want to do it, we'll do it for a while, to a certain extent to make the other partner happy, but the whole time it'll be a sacrifice and it'll be something they're doing for the other person, which has resentment and resistance and it's just not a recipe for a happy marriage or getting out of debt or building financial independence. So, so I'd say, yeah, the first thing is that list of the 10, you know, the 10 things that make you the most happy. The second thing I would say is, is um, figuring out if those four tendencies, which are partners, you might already have a good idea of what they are, but Gretchen Rubin does have a quiz on her website, um, which is free. You can find out which one you are, but if you know what type they are, then you can, um, you can persuade them in a way that fits their type. And you can also help build systems that will work for both of you with, but with what your types are. So for John, he was persuaded by the logic of the Dave Ramsey baby steps for another questioner. Like John maybe looking at the math of, okay, look, if we push hard, we could get all of this paid off in this amount of time and then we'd have more freedom to do X, Y, and Z. You know, if it's a rebel, it's the, what do you want more of? Like how can we be creative to get more freedom and letting you be yourself. And I think the rebel to adding in that, you know, an element of credit card companies or the man, you know, they want you to be in debt. Yeah. They want you to be controlled. That's how you get a rebel to control you and you, you're not gonna, you're not the type of person to be controlled are you? Then it's really hard. You probably can't do it. Yeah. And then so with the obliger, it's a matter of accountability. So, Mmm. You know, building in those systems of maybe it's art, like our open loops meetings where once a week you're coming together and discussing these things, the upholders, they'll just do it. You don't have to worry about that. So that is really good advice. Um, so do I even need to ask you what your favorite nonfiction book is? I think we have a good idea that I have probably gifted that book to people more than any other book. It really, my life, it changed my, my, uh, how I viewed myself. It changed our marriage. It changed how we relate to our family members, to our coworkers already. I think a good solid marriage and we have good relationships with family, but it just made it even that much better and that much easier to understand why people do what they do. Which pride for me as a questioner is really important. Yeah. Yeah. And we love that stuff. We love, like why do people behave the way they do? Right. Um, that's definitely one of them. Another book that's been very transformative for us. It's called the power of when [inaudible] and this is all about what are called chronotypes, which are your natural circadian rhythm. So your body clock clock KC. Exactly. Um, you know, we had this earlier, I'd mentioned that Rosemary is a morning person. I'm a night person. There's actually four types that the author lays out, which are, they're named after animals. So there's a lion, which is the morning person, early riser. Go get him first thing in the morning. They start, you know, they start at 11 and then they quickly taper off afternoon and just crash. It was just Rosemary. There's the bear and they're sort of the nine to five. They follow the sun. So most of about 50% of population are bears. And this is actually how most of society is organized, is around the natural biorhythms of bears. So you know, we have worked nine to five, that's the bare schedule. Third is the Wolf. That's what I am. So we are really slowly at going in the morning. We tend to be up later and wake up later. Um, it's been really empowering to find out that's what I am because my whole life I always felt frustrated that the entire world seemed to be sort of designed against this natural rhythm. And I always felt like I was lazy or there was something wrong with me cause I just couldn't get up earlier and I would never be able to fall asleep early enough to get up early. So same here. I worked night shift. So you're probably the Wolf type. Yeah. Um, and then the fourth one is dolphin and these are sort of the classic insomniac where they have a really hard time falling and staying asleep. Um, but what he lays out in the book is not only normalizing that these, these four tendencies are all normal and natural, but then also he gives you schedules that are sort of optimized for each type, which is really, I mean everything from, you know, when to eat, when to work, when to do creative work, when to do more admin and minutiae type stuff. Um, even work out what to do when to exercise based on your, your natural rhythms would have sex based on your natural rhythms for, you know, APOE enjoyment. And then most important I think in terms of the relationship is if you are a different type from your partner, figuring out sort of the, the, the best compromise time for things based on both of you. So obviously with Rosemary and I, we're kind of opposite ends of the, the spectrum here in terms of time, but we figured out a rhythm that, that works for both of us where we can still, you know, have a happy, healthy marriage and still see each other sometimes not want to bite each other's heads off. Yeah. That's awesome. I'll have to check that one out. So do you have any last words of wisdom you've given us lots to think about today? I think one thing that, uh, that, that I always say, um, that about, you know, why it's worth spending money on getting food that's of a higher quality. It's, you can choose to pay the farmer now or you can pay the doctor later. And that's really up to you. And for us, we just found that it's worth it to spend a little bit more money, um, on higher quality food and know that we're taking care of ourselves so that when we do get to a point where we can retire, where, uh, you can enjoy it, we can enjoy it fully. So yeah, we do kind of see food and nutrition and health in general is an investment in your most important asset, which is, you know, there's a lot of people that will optimize for finances there, their financial assets and they'll have a great portfolio, but they don't have the health to fully enjoy it. Uh, I remember when I was living and working in Taiwan years ago, uh, one of the guys that I was teaching, very wealthy guy, and he had this great quote, which is, he said, health is a one and wealth are zeros. And if you have all these zeros but you don't have the one in front, it's meaningless. Wow. And that's always stuck with me. That's, yeah. Yeah. I think just, I'm going to add one other word of wisdom that I really, really like and that is that I'm sort of going along with what we were saying about the sleep chronotypes and the four tendencies is that we can't ascribe morality to biology. So if you are that night owl type, you know, that's the way your body is designed to run for you. You're not broken, you're not a lazy or bad person. Similarly, um, you know, with the, with whatever tendency you are, if it's rebel or, or a bunch of whatever, like, you know, I'm not a, I used to just have this belief that like I'm a difficult person. I seem to be like dissatisfied in a cubicle job. Like, what's wrong with me? Other people seem to be okay with this. And he goes, Oh, I'm just a rebel. So, um, I think helping to understand yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Knowing yourself, knowing these concepts that helps you remove that morality from your own biology and understand, Oh, this is just the way I'm wired, so now I can make allowances and make changes in my life too. Um, you know, allow that part of me to flourish. Definitely. That's great. Now where can people find you? Yeah, so we're on Instagram at flourish fundamentals. Our website is flourish fundamentals.com. Um, and we have a weekly newsletter, so we're on flourish Friday. So, um, if you sign up for a newsletter on our website, we send out recipes and, um, teach you about the stuff that you need to do to take care of yourself for optimal wellness. And then actually, I'm currently writing my third book right now. Um, I'm writing a book that's all about kind of seasonal mood changes. I've always had a really hard time in the fall and winter, and now that that's rolling around again, um, I decided to kind of take all this knowledge and research that I've done over the past year and some things that I've implemented to help myself with that sort of putting that into a book to help other people that struggle with the same thing. Oh, awesome. Yeah, that's gonna be called happy in winter. Oh, awesome. I can't wait to read it. Yeah, I will if then you copy [inaudible]. Sounds good. Thanks you guys so much for being here today. Thank you, Ashley. Thank you. Special Guest: John & Rosemary Fotheringham.

This week, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on things I've seen with my clients when it comes to finding and setting up accountability.  Most people need outer accountability and guess what - it's okay! This episode I share insight and observation about the role accountability plays in goal execution as a small business owner. Most people are what Gretchen Rubin would call “Obligers". They respond well to external accountability (client deadlines, team needs, etc.) but struggle with internal accountability.   Links mentioned:  The Four Tendencies  Gretchen Rubin   --- Are you running your business or is your business running you? Let me help you turn your goals into reality. Schedule a free consultation today. 

Why you should treat yourself like a dog, why telling someone, “Calm down” is usually a bad idea, and ideas for Obligers who are trying to resist expectations that they eat or drink. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com/238; 774-277-9336. Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/243 Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Get tickets for our live podcast events in Seattle, Portland, San Fransisco, Chicago, Kansas City, Providence, Philadelphia, Washington D.C., Atlanta, Charlotte and Brooklyn here: https://gretchenrubin.com/events Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

About the Author Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She’s known for her ability to distill and convey complex ideas with humor and clarity, in a way that’s accessible to a wide audience.  She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers Outer Order, Inner Calm, The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. (The Happiness Project spent two years on the bestseller list.) On her top-ranking, award-winning podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin,” she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft. In her work, she draws from cutting-edge science, the wisdom of the ages, lessons from popular culture, and her own experiences to explore how we can make our lives happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. Gretchen Rubin started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she wanted to be a writer. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. Source: https://gretchenrubin.com/about/biography/ Click here to buy on The Book Depository https://www.bookdepository.com/The-Four-Tendencies/9781524762421/?a_aid=stephsbookshelf About the Book During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen realized that by asking the suspiciously simple question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. I discovered that people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so understanding this framework lets us make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress and burnout, and engage more effectively. The Four Tendencies explain why we act and why we don’t act. One of the big daily challenges of life is: “How do I get people—including myself—to do what I want?” Knowing the Four Tendencies make this task much, much easier. Source: https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/about-the-book/ Links Take the quiz and find out your tendency here: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/ Find out more about the four tendencies here: https://gretchenrubin.com/2013/10/what-kind-of-person-are-you-the-four-rubin-tendencies/ Listen to Gretchen’s podcast here: https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/ BIG IDEA 1 (5:07) – There are two types of expectations. This is the fundamental principle of the book. The two types of expectations are your internal expectation – which is placed on us by ourselves, and your external expectation – which is placed onto us by others.  In Gretchen’s research she found out that how people react to those expectations determines your type. It also determines what challenges, habits etc. you find easier or harder to maintain. BIG IDEA 2 (5:56) – There are four tendencies. This is the application of big idea number one. How you react to the two expectations creates the four tendencies. The four tendencies are upholders – they uphold inner and outer expectations with motto “do what’s right even if others say I’m uptight”.  Second tendency is the obliger – those who are very willing to meet external expectations, doing things for others but struggle with internal expectations. Obligers motto is “you can count on me”. These are the people that might struggle to meet and uphold their New Year’s resolution. Third type is the questioner, these people question all the expectation until they feel it was justified. They internalize & meet expectations once they agree that the expectation makes sense. Their motto is “I’ll comply if you convince me why”. (I am a questioner!). Type number four is the rebel, and they resist all expectations. Their motto is “you can’t make me, and neither can I”. They struggle to stick to schedules or go with the plan and abide by the rules which they think aren’t necessary.  BIG IDEA 3 (8:32) – Success through self-awareness. Knowing your tendency helps you create the environment and habits you need to succeed both for yourself and for others. Having self awareness can help you work better with them and achieve more for yourself.  Upholders need to loosen up themselves a bit when plans change or rules don’t make any sense or hold them back from achieving things. Obligers take commitment very seriously and are great to have in the team. But they can burn out because of always putting others first. If they become too burnt out they can become rebels. If you are an obliger and are struggling to meet inner expectations, try to find a way to pivot those so they become outer expectations (eg accountability buddies). Questioners really challenge the expectations and making sure things are being done for good reasons. This can also go too far, trusting nothing and noone because you could not make a decision due to not enough information to decide if it’s worth doing or not. They value data and fact so working with them in your team can be an advantage.  Rebels do things that they want to and when they want. They also find expectations almost offensive so you need to align their habits to their identity. That is the way to overcome the rebel nature. They’re great to have around because they will take you places that you think you haven’t gone to before. If this is you, find a purpose or identity to connect with to make what you need to do part of your identity. Also listen to Atomic Habits by James Clear Music By: Retro Active Song by John Isaac Click here to buy on The Book Depository Let’s Connect LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/steph-clarke Instagram: @stephsbizbookshelf Join in the book club conversation all week by joining the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/stephsbusinessbookclub Enjoying the show? Please hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and leave a review on iTunes to help others find us.

  Hi Friends, Today we are continuing with part 3 of our series on the 5 CLUTTER PITFALLS, and today we are talking about GUILT (something most of us are familiar with!) Guilt plays such a huge role when it comes to Emotional Clutter.  Certain personality types are more prone to feelings of guilt, like Obligers, who tend to be people pleasers, and who gain their motivation from outer accountability. REMORSE, REGRET, & RESPONSIBILITY weigh heavily for people who struggle with Emotional Clutter. 1. WHY do we feel GUILTY? Sentimental Factors:  (i.e. my kid made it) Financial Factors:  (i.e.  it cost a lot of money) Environmental Factors:  (i.e.  I don’t want to waste it) 2. HOW does our guilt manifests as CLUTTER? We often hold onto things we don’t want or use for the wrong reasons  "My Aunt Edna gave this to me for my wedding" "These shoes were so expensive" "I don't want to just throw it away" People want permission to let go.       3.  WHAT can we do to reduce feelings of GUILT? Play through the “what if” scenarios Ask yourself: What would happen if I got rid of this? Why am I keeping it? Would I miss it if it were gone? Give yourself permission to let it go Take Action! Pick 3 things that you are holding onto because of guilt and work through the process of parting with each item. (either donate, give away, recycle) Give yourself a realistic deadline to complete it Get an accountability partner to help you through Document your progress and share with us on IG or in our facebook group, This ORGANIZED Life If you know someone who would enjoy this episode, will you please share it with a friend?! CONNECT WITH US! FACEBOOK| WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM Your Opinion Matters!   I am so appreciative of anyone who takes a moment to help the growth of our show by SUBSCRIBING and listening each week.  We would be so grateful if you would click the  5-star button & leave a short REVIEW    Stop feeling like a Hot Mess!  HOT MESS: A Practical Guide to Getting Organized is my witty little survival guide that helps you get to the root of your clutter. Learn about the 3 types of clutter, Physical, Emotional, and Calendar, along with how to avoid the 5 Clutter Pitfalls.  Now is the time to reclaim time, find freedom, and feel empowered from the “stuff” that is holding you back. Available on amazon, barnes & noble or wherever books are sold. Let’s Connect!  We love hearing from you! Head on over to facebook and join our group, This ORGANIZED Life where you can post topic ideas, guest suggestions, questions, comments and photos. Of course you also connect with us on the IG or follow us on PINTEREST for some added inspiration. One more thing....before you go, click HERE to take our free clutter quiz! 

Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.  This episode is brought to you by the John Maxwell Team. Learn how the John Maxwell Team Leadership, Coaching, Speaking, and Training Development Program can help you take your organization, leadership, and life to the next level. Book a free call with a Program Coordinator at: johnmaxwellteam.com/talk EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to our producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Contact him today at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

This week, we’ll talk about why you might try to spend time individually with each member of your family, and we’ll discuss an intriguing hack about using an ice cube to change your thoughts. We also talk about Obligers, and how they need outer accountability for inner expectations. Don't know your Tendency? Take the free quiz here: http://quiz.gretchenrubin.com Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Get tickets for my book tour and Happier podcast live events athttp://gretchenrubin.com/events Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/211 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is no one-way, one-fits-all, magic solution that works for everyone to reach goals or get things done. A lot of people spend time beating themselves up when something doesn't work instead of saying, 'Hey! I've learned something about myself. This isn't the way it works for me; let's move on to something that works better.' They shouldn't feel like they don't have any willpower or they're not a grown up. There's nothing wrong with you; there are other ways of doing things and let's focus on that. - Gretchen Rubin   Click here for the entire show notes Please leave us a review at http://reviewourpodcast.com Join our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Facebook Group! Do the 7 Day Paleo Reset     This week, we are so excited to share Rob's interview with Bestselling Author of numerous books including The Four Tendencies and Co-Host of The Happier Podcast, Gretchen Rubin. Rob and Gretchen dove deep into how she switched from a career in law to become a writer and all about the unique Four Tendencies people have according to their inner and outer expectations: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. More specifically, you'll learn about: Why we try to change our tendencies and who we are even though there's absolutely no need to do that. The fact that 40% of the population are Obligers. How to make a change in your life without changing your inner nature no matter what tendency you have. Why Rebels have a "could do" list instead of a to-do or goals list. What defines an Upholder and why they're so driven to succeed with just a little bit of accountability. How Gretchen discovered The Four Tendencies by observing people including herself. What an Obliger Rebellion is and why it can be a beneficial breakthrough for an Obliger. How the Four Tendencies can overlap for some people.   "What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while." - Gretchen Rubin   The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Get your copy of The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin here In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life.  During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought... ·         People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself. ·         How can I help someone to follow good advice? ·         People say I ask too many questions. ·         How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do? With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you. Click Here To Take The Four Tendencies Quiz      The Four Tendencies Framework Intro [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9gieh0LkjQ[/embed]   About Gretchen Rubin Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide. On her top-ranking podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft. (Gretchen is an Upholder, Elizabeth is an Obliger). Gretchen Rubin has been interviewed by Oprah, eaten dinner with Daniel Kahneman, walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, had her work written up in a medical journal, and been an answer on the game show Jeopardy! She started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she wanted to be a writer.   Let Us Coach You On The Podcast! Come on the podcast and let us be your coach for an hour on the show!   We talked about this a while back but we want you, the listener, to be a guest on our show by allowing us to be your personal coaches for a 1-hour call. Your call will be featured as an actual episode on our podcast but can always keep your identity hidden by changing your name because we know that our health is everything and some things we'd like to keep to ourselves. Here's how you sign up: Go to http://openskyfitness.com/contact/ Fill out your name, email address, and message In your message, please include: Your goals What obstacles you believe are standing in your way Your expectations and how you think Devon and Rob can help you     What You'll Hear on This Episode 00:00 Open Sky Fitness Introduction 1:15  Opening comments with Rob and Devon 1:30 Check out our previous interview: OSF 233 Dr. Joel Fuhrman: Is Fast Food More Addicting Than Drugs? 1:40 About today's guest, Bestselling Author, Gretchen Rubin. 5:00 Come and let us coach you on a podcast episode! 10:30 Join the conversation in our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook 10:55 A question from an OSF Facebook Group Member on natural digestive enzymes and probiotics. 12:30 What's better for you? Raw vs. cooked vegetables. 15:00 Introduction to Gretchen Rubin 18:00 How Gretchen began her new career in writing after working in the world of law for so long. 22:00 How Gretchen and her husband supported each other during their career changs. 25:00 The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel as well as outer and inner expectations. 27:50 Why the majority of people (40% of us) are Obligers and we're trying to change our tendencies to be a different person. 28:30 Why Obligers tend to outsource and reach for help to stay on track with their inner expectations and how they do it. 30:30 How to make a change in your life without changing your inner nature no matter what tendency you have. 31:50 How Rebels try to get work done with a "Could Do" list. 33:10 Upholders and how they're so driven to succeed with just a little bit of accountability. 34:00 How Gretchen discovered The Four Tendencies within people including herself. 36:40 Can the Four Tendencies overlap? How do you tip into other personalities? 38:00 Rebels - What are they like? How can you deal with them or help them? 42:40 The Obliger Rebellion: What it is and what happens during one. 49:30 How The Four Tendencies can benefit and help you get to know yourself better. 50:30 Secrets of Adulthood - About this section of her website and some of her favorite secrets. 51:00 About one specific secret of adulthood - "What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while." 53:00  Final comments with Rob and Devon 53:10 Learn how to can be on the podcast and work with Devon and me in a coaching session! 57:00 Check out our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook 57:10 Open Sky Fitness Closing   RESOURCES MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW: Leave us an iTunes review Subscribe to our podcast and take your health to the next level! Join The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook Learn more about the Sky Fit Challenge Clean up your diet with our  7 Day Paleo Reset Contact Rob and Devon to apply for One-On-One Coaching Sessions Learn more about our new sponsor - ButcherBox Check out our previous interview: OSF 233 Dr. Joel Fuhrman: Is Fast Food More Addicting Than Drugs? Connect with Gretchen Rubin via: Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube Take The Four Tendencies Quiz Learn more about Gretchen's Bestselling books including: The Four Tendencies The Happiness Project Better Than Before Check out the Happier with Gretchen Rubin Podcast   JOIN THE SKY FIT CHALLENGE! CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE The challenge consists of: 8 Weeks of Equipment Free Bodyweight Workouts in 20 minutes or less. (No gym membership required) SIMPLE Whole Food Meal Plan w/Tasty Recipe Cookbook Featuring 60+ recipes! Foolproof Schedule so you know EXACTLY what you’re supposed to do every day. Access to our New Private Facebook Group – Sky Fit Challenge Group to share your progress with everyone as well as receive support and be held accountable. Do The FREE 7 Day Paleo Rest Simply go to 7DayPaleoReset.com to sign up now One of the best things you can do for your mind and body in your mission to get healthier is to focus on your nutrition. That's why we're allowing people to sign up now to join us for our next Free 7 Day Paleo Rest! It's all done via Facebook so no annoying emails that will fill up your inbox. As part of the 7 Day Paleo Reset, we will provide you with: Introduction to what the Paleo Diet is all about 7 Day guide to easy Paleo recipes What batch cooking is and how to incorporate that into your lifestyle Various content resources including generational eating habits, the importance of building a wellness community, and how to begin a new healthy lifestyle. How to make an impact on your life and life a life full of wellness.     Look Out For Our Upcoming Throw Back Thursday Podcast Episodes! We'll be releasing new podcasts episodes on Thursdays that discuss previous episodes we've done, but we need your help! Go to the  Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and tell us what your favorite episodes are. Then, Devon and I will re-listen to that episode, pick out the best parts and share even more insights on the topic. We won't just be regurgitating the same information over again. Since we began this podcast, there's so much more information out their on health, nutrition, fitness, and personal wellness. So, each Thursday we'll really just be going deeper into your favorite topics!   Claim Your FREE Bacon + $10 Off With Our Sponsor - ButcherBox That's right! By listening to the Open Sky Fitness Podcast, you get the chance to get a free order of bacon plus $10 off your first ButcherBox purchase!! ButcherBox delivers 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, and heritage breed pork directly to your door. Think of them as the neighborhood butcher for modern America.     Join The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group! That's right! We have a closed Open Sky Fitness Podcast group on Facebook where you and everyone have the opportunity to talk about your health and fitness goals in a safe environment. We post workouts and start discussions about how to be strategic about finding a healthier you. Check it out! Start Building Your Own Workouts and Meal Plan! Download Results Tracker here! Click To Download Home Workout Templates or text the word, "lifting," to 33444 to download the templates.  Download the OSF Food Journal Now! Have a Question or Review for Rob or Devon? We love answering questions and getting feedback from you, our listener! If you have any questions to ask us, want to share a review of the show, or tell us any suggestions for guests/topics that you think would be great to have on the show, just email Rob at rob@openskyfitness.com or Devon at devon@openskyfitness.com or you can also leave us a review at http://reviewourpodcast.com ask a question in the closed Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and even text OSFreview to 33444 to get the link. Get Fit with Free Downloads! To Download Rob’s FREE workout templates click below** Download Templates Ask Rob a Question or tell him what is working for you: Email Rob@OpenSkyFitness.com   Support This Podcast To leave a Review for Rob and the Open Sky Fitness Podcast CLICK NOW!  Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show and I read each and every one of them. Contact our amazing sound engineer Ryan? Send him an e-mail here: info@stellarsoundsstudio.com Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the bottom of the post. Do you have any questions (and would like to hear yourself on the Open Sky Fitness Podcast)? Click on the link on the right side of any page on our website that says “Send Voicemail.” And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic updates. It’s free! Thanks for listening/reading episode 234 with Gretchen Rubin: Navigating Expectations With The Four Tendencies! We hope you have gained more knowledge on how to be a healthier you.

Kori and Joe continue their discussion about self-direction through the lens of Gretchen Rubin's 4 Tendencies framework. How you respond to inner and outer expectations can influence self-direction! Listen in to find out where you might fit in-- are you a questioner, an upholder, an obliger, or a rebel? 00:10 Intro The 4 Tendencies: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/ 01:50 May cyclists run a red light? 03:10 How We Respond to Rules & Expectations: QUESTIONERS accept rules that make sense UPHOLDERS accept all the rules. OBLIGERS accept outside rules but not self-imposed rules. REBELS reject rules. 11:00 The goal of this info: ~Self-awareness comes first ~Look at ways to understand yourself better ~When do you feel constricted; energized? 15:30 Wrap up Thanks for visiting! Kori Propst, PhD, and Joe Klemczewski, PhD, merge their voices to create life-enhancing conversations and content you can use every day. Kori is the Vice President and Wellness Director of The Diet Doc, LLC—a health and weight-loss licensing company founded by Joe more than 20 years ago. Together, Joe and Kori help hundreds of Diet Doc Program Owners build industry-leading nutrition coaching platforms around the world. Now they're bringing their talent to a daily podcast where nothing is off limits. Motivation, nutrition, weight loss, career, relationships, fitness entrepreneurship, and even guest interviews and features will be dissected and categorized for convenient listening or viewing. What happens when you mix 30 years of psychology, nutrition, physiology, social anthropology, and even literary journalism education with 40 years of business-building experience and almost 90 years (should I say that?) of combined real life? Let's find out! SUBSCRIBE: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-diet-doc-life-mastery-podcast/id1385194556?mt=2 http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=thedietdocweightloss FITNESS ENTREPRENEUR? Find out how to become The Diet Doc expert in your community! https://www.dropbox.com/s/mv4mwtiignpxkn2/The%20Diet%20Doc%20MEDIA%20KIT%202018.pdf?dl=0 FREE QUIZ: DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MEET YOUR GOALS? https://www.dropbox.com/s/thmmokbc3kd8uw3/Principles%20of%20Persistent%20Pursuit%20-%20Free%20Assessment.pdf?dl=0 LET'S CONNECT! Website: https://www.thedietdoc.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheDietDoc Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/dietdocglobal Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thedietdoclife Podcast: https://soundcloud.com/thedietdoc

Gretchen Rubin is one of the biggest names in self-help, but she's also special to me on a personal level. After my little sister gave me a second chance at life last year, I read everything I could get my hands on about how to be happier and healthier. One of the first books I read --- and the one that made the biggest impact on me --- was Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. Over the past few months, I’ve been getting to know Gretchen’s work in even more detail as I researched wrote my new book Winning Resolutions: Achieve Your Biggest Goals and Wildest Dreams Once and For All. Gretchen Rubin joins me on this episode of the podcast to talk about her four tendencies framework and how it can help you keep your resolutions. And fitness contributor Kathleen Trotter shares what she says are the three pillars of a balanced fitness routine. Feedback / Connect: Subscribe to My Instruction Manual on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify and anywhere else great podcast are found Visit MyInstructionManual.com for shownotes, more great content and to sign up the email newsletter Email: keith@myinstructionmanual.com Keith on Twitter: @KeithMcArthur Join our Facebook page and our Self-Help Book Club on Facebook Find us on Pinterest, Instagram and YouTube Download a free copy of 18 Steps to Own Your Life by clicking HERE Episode 50 Show Notes [00:00] Welcome and Intro Winning Resolutions will be released on December 11, but it's available for pre-order now. Order on Amazon Order on Kobo Other retailers coming soon To get a pile of pre-order bonuses, go to MyInstructionManual.com/resolutions [4:02] Featured interview with Gretchen Rubin Gretchen Rubin is New York Times bestselling author of multiple books including The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies. In this conversation, Keith and Gretchen discuss: The TV program This Time Next Year (see YouTube clip below) [5:35] How Gretchen discovered the Four Tendencies [7:09] Gretchen provides an overview of The Four Tendencies [8:04] Upholders, obliger, rebels, questioners Outer + inner expectations quiz.gretchenrubin.com Gretchen and Keith are both upholders [11:06] Obligers [13:20] Questioners [18:50] How the tendencies overlap [23:07] Rebels [28:00] [34:33] Where to find Gretchen Website: GretchenRubin.com Four Tendencies quiz: Quiz.GretchenRubin.com Instagram: @gretchenrubin Twitter: @gretchenrubin Podcast: Happier with Gretchen Rubin [34:33] Fitness contributor Kathleen Trotter on her three pillars of a balanced fitness routine Kathleen Trotter is author of Finding Your Fit: A Compassionate Trainer's Guide to Making Fitness a Lifelong Habit In this conversation, Keith and Kathleen discuss: Why a balanced fitness routine is critical [35:00] Pillar 1: cardiovascular [36:00] Pillar 2: strength training [38:42] Pillar 3: flexibility + mobility [40:05] Where to find Kathleen [42:25] KatheenTrotter.com Instagram: KathleenTrotterFitness Twitter: KTrotterFitness Facebook: KathleenTrotter [42:45] Closing words

With the holidays coming up shortly it can be a troubling time of year for many as they gather together with family that they may not see often. One way to make family time less stressful is by trying to understand differences in personalities. Everyone approaches life differently and it can be a challenge to understand why some people make the choices they do. Gretchen Rubin is the author of the book The Four Tendencies and joins me on episode 246 to discuss the four personality types that she outlines in her book. Understanding these can help you understand family around the holidays and even help prepare you for your retirement planning. What are the 4 tendencies? There are many personality tests that people and organizations use to help understand personal behavior. These can be great tools to help inform us of our own behavior and that of others. Gretchen Rubin has laid out 4 tendencies that help explain why people behave the way they do. The 4 tendencies are the upholder, the obliger, the rebel, and the questioner. Upholders meet outer expectations and inner expectations they set for themselves. Obligers meet outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations. Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations, and questioners question all expectations, even their own! Listen to this episode to help you understand which tendency you are. How do the 4 tendencies differ from other personality tests? Each personality test is different and can teach you something about yourself and others. They all have their own vocabulary and pinpoint different aspects of people’s nature. Each one can tell you something about yourself. They will all tell you something but none of them will tell you everything. Understanding your tendency can help you understand how to achieve a goal or decide what type of accountability you need to get things done. When creating your retirement plan you can use your tendency to help you harness your strengths and understand your weaknesses. How can understanding the 4 tendencies help your retirement planning? Planning your retirement is really planning a change in your lifestyle. Attaining more time freedom leaves you time to pursue your dreams. But having more time freedom doesn’t necessarily mean that you will achieve all of your hopes and dreams. Understanding your tendency can help you meet your retirement goals. For example, obligers often feel that they will be able to tackle everything once they have more time. But then they find that they disappoint themselves because without external accountability they often have a hard time attaining their goals. Have you ever set a goal for yourself that you didn’t achieve? Should you moderate your tendency or own it? Each tendency comes with its strengths and weaknesses. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses as well as those of your family members can help you relate to others. Learning how to harness your strengths can help you achieve your goals. Once you understand more about yourself then you can find tools that help you move forward to achieve your goals. You will still have weaknesses but knowing how to navigate them and create solutions will help you do all the things you want to do. Listen to this episode to hear how to apply the 4 tendencies to your life and relationships and rock retirement. OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN HOT TOPIC SEGMENT [3:24] People approach life and their problems differently [5:45] Nichole and Roger took the personality test PRACTICAL PLANNING SEGMENT [9:49] How do the 4 tendencies differ from other personality tests? [13:37] What are the 4 tendencies? [15:47] Understanding these can help you better yourself [17:43] How can understanding the tendencies help someone navigate change? [22:08] Should you moderate your tendency or own it? [24:53] Know yourself and your partner THE HAPPY LAB SEGMENT [27:48] What are you going to do to be happy over the holidays? TODAY’S SMART SPRINT SEGMENT [29:56] Learn more about yourself and your spouse Resources Mentioned In This Episode The Four Tendency Quiz BOOK - The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Roger’s YouTube Channel - Roger That BOOK - Rock Retirement  by Roger Whitney Ask Roger a question Work with Roger 3-video Series: 5 Minute Retirement Makeover Roger’s Retirement Learning Center The Retirement Answer Man Facebook Page

Gretchen Rubin, author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Gretchen talks about the 4 tendency types that people fall into and why knowing your type can help you become happier, more successful, and more effective in just about every aspect of life. She discusses how she discovered these personality types, how they differ from one another, how to spot other people’s tendencies, and how to capitalize on the natural tendency type you were born with. If you’re wondering how to improve your life by knowing your tendency type and subsequently working with and mastering your innate God-given abilities, check this episode out now! *Download this episode now and subscribe to our channel to get more of these amazing interviews! In our episode we go over: Why Gretchen likes to find patterns and group people into different types of categories How Gretchen got into studying human behavior and happiness and why she chose to become a professional writer What the 4 tendencies are and why your tendency type matters Why your tendency type describes how you respond to expectations Outer expectations vs. inner expectations Upholders, Obligers, Questioners, and Rebels The different job types that generally relate to the different tendency types The strengths and weaknesses of each tendency type The most popular tendency type and the least popular tendency type Whether or not you are born with your tendency or whether your environment creates it Whether or not you can change your tendency later in life and whether or not this would be a good idea The research behind the 4 tendencies and how Gretchen came up with them Famous people or fictional characters in novels that fit the four tendency types Whether Steve Jobs was a rebel or a questioner What my tendency type is and the story that clearly exemplifies this How to make in-the-moment reads on the tendency types of people you just meet What obliger-rebellion is The dangers of each tendency type and how to avoid their pitfalls Gretchen’s best tips on improving your level of happiness Avoiding the negativity bias The power of building relationships and how to get together with your friends more often Learning new skills and growing on a regular basis Making time for having fun and doing things that are actually fun for you The fact that the days are long but the years are short and what this means for you and your life Check out Gretchen on: Website: gretchenrubin.com Quiz: quiz.gretchenrubin.com Facebook: facebook.com/GretchenRubin Sponsors: * I’ve talked about it for weeks and I’m happy to say, today we go live! That’s right the Elite Man Brotherhood is now open to all. Go to EliteManBrotherhood.com/join to sign up for your 14-day free trial. This trial will be gone in 10 days so make sure you act now. You don’t want to miss out on your chance of checking the Brotherhood out and joining this world-class group. EliteManBrotherhood.com/join * You know what’s NOT SMART, making the lottery the centerpiece of your retirement plan. But you know what is SMART? Going to ZipRecruiter.com/elite to hire the right person. ZipRecruiter doesn’t depend on candidates finding you, it finds them for you. Its powerful matching technology scans thousands of resumes, identifies people with the right skills, education, and experience for your job — and actively invites them to apply — so you get qualified candidates fast. That’s why ZipRecruiter is rated #1 by employers in the U.S. (This rating comes from hiring sites on Trustpilot with over 1,000 reviews.) And right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at this exclusive web address: ZipRecruiter.com/elite .That’s ZipRecruiter.com/elite. ZipRecruiter.com/elite.  ZipRecruiter. The smartest way to hire.

Do you find yourself struggling at times to take time for yourself? Are you most productive when someone else is depending on you? You may be an Obliger! Listen to find out how to manage the obliger tendecy. - We are not medical professionals. These are simple solutions we have used and had success with. This is strictly for educational purposes. Small steps every day will dramatically transform your life! - Be sure to also subscribe to our YouTube Channel: DNA Wellness Website: https://www.myyl.com/dnawellnessFacebook:Dayna N Anthony Mott Instagram: YoungLadyDay1224 and Manonthemove30

I took Gretchen Ruben’s Four Tendencies quiz and discovered that I’m a Questioner. I say "discovered," but I guess it’s not that much of a surprise at all. Did you take the Four Tendencies quiz and find out what you are? A couple of weeks ago here in Cincinnati, Ohio, I had the Sunday Basket® Workshop Certified Organizers in town for a boot camp. I told them that I had recorded the podcast with Gretchen Ruben and so they took the Four Tendencies quiz. We found out that the majority of them are Obligers. We also had a few Questioners in the mix, though I don’t think we had any Rebels or Upholders. So I think the majority of people who listen to my podcast are probably Obligers or Questioners. And as a Questioner myself, I know that being a Questioner is not an easy road. Questioners are analytical. I’m going to tell you about my questioning tendencies and how it relates to the Organize 365 products I develop. Instead of using the term Questioner, I’ve always said that I’m very analytical. So I think people who are very analytical are probably a Questioner on Gretchen Ruben’s scale. Also, I think your personality comes into play, because you can be a contrary Questioner or you can be a productive Questioner. I’m a productive Questioner. I question and I analyze so that I can get an end result or so that I can help others get an end result. That is my overarching questioning–ness. I question something to figure out how to solve a problem. My ultimate goal as a teacher, educator, coach, motivator, parent, and human being is to solve problems and help people achieve the end result that they have for themselves. So I am a Questioner, an analyzer, in order to get you to the end result that you desire. Obligers & Questioners I think the majority of you up to this point have been Obligers, but in March I think I had some Questioners on the 100 Day Home Organization Program wait list! I got a couple of emails that asked, "Why are you making me wait? This is ridiculous. Here is my money, let me in please. Can I have the program? I don’t want to wait a month." I literally got three of those emails in one week! I do not promote the 100 Day Home Organization Program every day of the year. I promote it for ten days, three different times of the year, when I know you will have the best end result of jumping into it. Now, I analyzed this quite a bit. I do not need the external motivation that an Obliger needs. My goal for Organize 365 is to get you to your desired end result which is an organized home. And as an educator, and a teacher, and an analyzer, I know that your best chance for success is to start in September, in January, and in April. You’ll get as far as you possibly can because you’ll be going with the natural energy of the year. However, I know that doesn’t work for everyone. And so in the future on the wait list page at the bottom, there’ll be a button that says, “Can’t wait, click here.” If you just took that quiz and you’re an Obliger, you wait until September and you start with everybody else. You will have so much more success with the 100 Day Home Organization Program if you’re doing the weekly Facebook Lives and if you’re in the Facebook Group because everybody is doing the same thing which will help you get to your end result of organizing your house. The next round of the 100 Day Home Organization Program starts on MONDAY! And... I have opened registration for those of you who keep emailing trying to get in. :) You can sign up through the new store here... https://organize-365.myshopify.com/ (Your planner will get there by FRIDAY.) An Update On The Sunday Basket® Club We started the Sunday Basket® Club because a bunch of you Obligers came to me and said that you needed to pay a monthly fee so you would do your Sunday Basket®. And you said you wanted a Sunday Basket® class. I want you to have excellent value when you put money into Organize 365. When you pay for something at Organize 365, I want you to say at the end, “Oh, my gosh, it was worth so much more than that!” So, I price accordingly. I price for the value that is in the product, but I also price so that when you’re done, you realize you got even more than you expected. With the Sunday Basket® Club, I was going to do twice-a-month training sessions on how to organize your paper, which I started doing in January. But I quickly realized that people were joining in February and not getting January’s "how to get started with organizing your paper." There’s an order to it that was missing. So… introducing the new Sunday Basket® Club! It’s $99 a year. You can do the Sunday Basket® on Sundays with Monique and Ryan, and then every other Monday night, is a Facebook Live Q & A, just like in the 100 Day Home Organization Program. It’s an opportunity for you to tell me what you want to hear by telling me what questions you have about your paper. For Questioners, simplicity comes at the end when you’ve decided what the answers to your questions are. That’s how we get simplicity. So go ahead, ask me all the questions you want in the Sunday Basket® Club! I Want To Get You Results We are constantly analyzing and tweaking. Part of why I say, “Progress, not perfection” is because as a Questioner, I know there’s no perfect. If you give me something that’s perfect, I’m going to question it. I want you to get the best end result and that is why I do everything that I do. I want to give you all of the options so you can get the end result of getting your house organized. And sometimes, you see too many choices so you can’t make a decision in order to get to your end result. I am trying to tailor my products to what you need. So that’s a sneak peek into how a Questioner thinks and why I make changes. Every change I make is to benefit you. The 100 Day Home Organization Program hasn’t changed in years. I am going to make it available on demand in the future, but I’m still going to do the launch model because that’s what works for the majority of my audience. Next week, we’re going to dive into physical products and the highs and lows of creating them! And there’s still time to join me in Dallas, Texas for the Organize 365 National Convention on June 7-9, 2018! I can’t wait to meet you and give you a BIG hug! View the complete post here: https://organize365.com/224

You asked and I listened. This week on the podcast, I’m thrilled to welcome author Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen is one of the most influential writers in the world on human nature. She hosts an award-winning podcast and her best-selling books have been published in 30 countries and sold over 3 million copies! On the podcast, we talked about Gretchen’s most recent book, The Four Tendencies, and how your personality type relates to getting your home organized. Which Personality Type Are You? Gretchen explained that the The Four Tendencies are four different personality types: Upholder Questioner Obliger Rebel You can probably tell which one you are just from the name! But if you want to take the survey for free, visit gretchenrubin.com. Gretchen explained that these personality types vary depending on what motivates you. We’re all motivated by two main kinds of expectations: Outer Expectations: such as a work deadline or request from a friend Inner Expectations: our own desire to do things Upholders readily meet both types of expectations. Questioners question all expectations, so they'll only do something if they're convinced it makes sense. They make everything an inner expectation and object to anything they see as inefficient or irrational. Then there are Obligers, those who readily meet outer expectations (things other people want), but struggle to meet inner ones (the things they want). I think there are a lot of you out there! Finally, there are Rebels, those who resist all expectations, both outer and inner. Obliger is the most common type of tendency, with Rebel and Upholder being least common. Listen to the podcast to find out which tendency I have. Hint: No one guessed it correctly on Facebook! Making The Sunday Basket® Work For Your Personality Type I enjoyed telling Gretchen about the Sunday Basket® and it was interesting to unravel that it’s my Obliger audience who were saying, "We need you to go through the Sunday Basket® with us on Sunday." I’m so pleased that I created the Sunday Basket® Club to give people the outer accountability that they need. How Does Personality Type Affect Home Organization? I think we have all of the tendencies in our family of 4! So how does this help us to get our homes organized, especially when dealing with the variety of tendencies in our family? I listened with great interest to Gretchen’s advice on how to get the home organized when taking personality types into account. Gretchen explained that a big problem for Obligers is that they often struggle to delegate tasks. Do you recognize this tendency in yourself? This is where it helps to have people hold you accountable. Another great tip that Gretchen gave is one that I’ve heard myself say before… if you want to clean out the spare room, invite guests. That may well be the only thing that you need to do! Your Habits = Your Identity Like Dr Phil always used to say – You have an identity from being cluttered, but then you get organized and you have a new identity. So you have to really focus on that. Once you become organized, you ARE living a different kind of life. We don't realize how much of our life is habitual. This is why both mine and Gretchen’s podcasts ask so many questions. It's to help people think about making choices and changing habits. I LOVED talking to Gretchen. She concluded on the show that if we have habits that work for us, we're much more likely to be healthier, happier, and more creative.   Hey, have you signed up to join me in Dallas, Texas for the Organize 365 National Convention? I can’t wait to meet you and give you a BIG hug! View the complete post here: https://organize365.com/223

Why you really should write something down, a system to allow two Obligers to create accountability as a couple, and a solution for unwanted prescription medication. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com; 774-277-9336.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gretchen Rubin (@gretchenrubin) is a former lawyer turned podcaster and best-selling author. Her latest book is The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too). What We Discuss with Gretchen Rubin: We tend toward one of four archetypes based on how we respond to expectations: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Understanding these tendencies improves the ways we motivate and influence ourselves and others. We explore each tendency and how we can optimize our mental models and self-talk to get ourselves on the right track. We learn how to spot these tendencies in others and ensure we're using the right types of incentives and communication to get the best from those around us. Take the quiz 600,000 others have taken to better understand how these frameworks can galvanize significant and lasting change. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.

Keep a running list of your favorite things, identify your one-word theme for 2018, and how Obligers can create accountability even if they want to keep resolutions private.  Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin; happiercast.com/75; 774-277-9336. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. On Gretchen's top-ranking, award-winning podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin,” she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft. In this episode, we discuss: How Gretchen came up with the concept of her new book, The Four Tendencies Inner and outer expectations Upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels Always beware of an upholder offering advice on how to do something Does your tendency ever change? Can a major life event impact your tendency? Speak the language of the person you're speaking to Upholders need to be on alert for "tightening" Questioners can sometimes drain and overwhelm others with their constant questioning A deep irony within the questioner tendency Obligers need outer accountability Obliger rebellion How to handle a rebel 2 upholders in a romantic relationship (Marni & Jesse) Not being confined by our tendencies We're all different and different things work for different people Show sponsors: CoreChair

We all fall into at least one of four personality categories: We’re either Upholders, Questioners, Obligers or Rebels, according to our guest Gretchen Rubin. Her latest book, The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better, is already a bestseller. Rubin says that understanding which category defines you, can transform what you do at home, at work, and in life by helping you make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. [FYI, I’m an Upholder, as is Mark, which may explain why we work so well together!] The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you’ve ever thought…People can rely on me, but I can’t rely on myself?How can I help someone to follow good advice?People say I ask too many questions.How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do?If you’re having trouble figuring out which tendency best describes you, fear not, as Gretchen has developed a very easy quiz for you to take. It takes no more than ten minutes -- more than a million people have already completed it! You can take the quiz here. Knowing who you are may be able to make you happier, healthier, more productive and even more creative. After all, it’s far easier to succeed, when you know what works for you and those who surround you. For more from a leading observer of human nature, follow Gretchen on Twitter. “Better Off” is sponsored by Betterment. We love feedback so please leave us a rating or review in iTunes. "Better Off" theme music is by Joel Goodman, www.joelgoodman.com. For a recap of every episode, visit https://www.betterment.com/resources/topics/inside-betterment/better-off-podcast/ Connect with me at these places for all my content: http://www.jillonmoney.com/  https://twitter.com/jillonmoney  https://www.facebook.com/JillonMoney  https://www.instagram.com/jillonmoney/  https://www.youtube.com/c/JillSchlesinger  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillonmoney/  https://soundcloud.com/jill-schlesinger  http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/jill-on-money  http://betteroffpodcast.com/  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/better-off-jill-schlesinger/id431167790?mt=2

In today's episode we chat all about the Four Tendencies framework by Gretchen Rubin.  We talk about each of the Four Tendencies - Upholders, Obligers, Questioners and Rebels - and how they tend to show up in people's lives and in our lives specifically.  We would love to hear from you!  What is your tendency and how does it play a part in your life?   The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Gretchen Rubin's Website Happier Podcast with Gretchen Rubin - Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, Rebels   Loving This Week Maren - Bliss and Grit podcast Specific episode recommendation, Ep 49: The Need For Approval Angela - Pioneer Woman's Perfect Potato Soup   Visit our website Join our closed Facebook group: Unrefined Homeschoolers Follow us on Facebook and Instagram  Angela on Instagram: @unrefinedangela Maren on Instagram: @unrefinedmaren Email us any questions or feedback at homeschoolunrefined@gmail.com   We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Before you can improve yourself, you must know and accept yourself. But how? According to Gretchen Rubin (author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before, and co-host of the podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin) the key lies in knowing your tendency, or how you respond to inner and outer expectations. Once you do, keeping your New Year’s resolutions, sticking to an exercise routine, and even communicating with your partner or kids gets a whole lot easier. In Episode 98 of Edit Your Life, Asha and Gretchen talk about her new book, The Four Tendencies, in which she lays out a simple framework for understanding our internal motivations (Obligers, Upholders, Questioners, or Rebels). They share the quirks and challenges of their own tendencies, discuss the inherent tension between improving and accepting ourselves, and talk about how the Four Tendencies play out in relationships. + + + + + Every week, Edit Your Life shares practical ideas for decluttering your home, schedule, and mental space without getting bogged down by perfection. Hosts Christine Koh and Asha Dornfest are award-winning bloggers and the co-authors of MINIMALIST PARENTING and won the 2017 Iris Award for Podcast Of The Year. Share: #edityourlifeshow Show notes: edityourlifeshow.com Facebook: facebook.com/edityourlifeshow Email: edityourlifeshow@gmail.com

In a world where something big and scary happens almost daily, talking to your kids about world events can be unsettling, nuanced and a challenge.  We invite you in to this conversation where we talk all about what we do, what we don't do and our own questions and fears. Today's podcast is brought to you by audible - get a FREE audiobook download and 30 day free trial at www.audibletrial.com/homeschoolunrefined. Over 180,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle or mp3 player. Our Audible listens: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish and Hank the Cowdog by John Erickson How To Talk So Kids Will Listen Book Club Episodes Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 The Crown Jane the Virgin 30 Rock The Mindy Project American Ninja Warrior Jerry Before Seinfeld Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne Simplicity Parenting Book Club Episodes, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Indy Kids News Sparkle Stories The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Happier Podcast with Gretchen Rubin - Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, Rebels   Loving This Week Angela - Spater 7 Port USB Charging Station Maren - Overcast   Visit our website Join our closed Facebook group: Unrefined Homeschoolers Follow us on Facebook and Instagram  Angela on Instagram: @unrefinedangela Maren on Instagram: @unrefinedmaren Email us any questions or feedback at homeschoolunrefined@gmail.com   We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

This week's episode is a bit different.  Host Sally Hubbard and producer Carolyn Duncan sit down to discuss some of the issues brought up by last week's interview of Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen's Four Tendencies personality paradigm indicates that men are "obligers"in equal numbers as women. Essentially, Obligers are people pleasers, most easily meeting expectations placed on them by others. So how is it that the selfless mother who "takes care" is the vaulted feminine archetype while the man who "takes charge" is most valued under stereotypical gender roles?  We take a look at the vastly different external expectations placed on men and women.  And we talk about the challenges of embracing women's unique strengths while acknowledging that the differences within the genders are greater than the differences between them.

We are diving in The Four Tendencies with Gretchen Rubin, and why knowing yourself is the way to a happy, healthy life. Gretchen Rubin is one of the most influential writers on the linked subjects of habits, happiness, and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. A member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, Rubin has an enormous following, in print and online; her books have sold almost three million copies worldwide, and she has a highly ranked, award-winning podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin.   Website: gretchenrubin.com Twitter: @gretchenrubin   All show notes & resources available at realfoodwholelife.com KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE How she left a successful law career for writing. Why it took Gretchen 10 years to become an overnight success. The origin story of the Happiness Project, and why she focused on the practical daily life activities for health and happiness. What “Be Gretchen” means, and why the only way to build a happy, healthy, creative, efficient life is to base it on the foundation of our own nature, our own values, our own interests, our own temperament. There is no magic one-size fits all solution. We are mostly alike but the differences are so important. Sometimes things work, sometimes they don’t and it’s not your fault. Why it’s so hard to know yourself. There’s the way we wish we were, the way other people wish we were, and our assumptions about what people are like. Using the laws of distinction to describe our differences. What did you love to do when you were 10 years old, what do you lie about (which means there’s a disconnect between you life and your values), who do you envy? Shining a spotlight on hidden patterns and lending a vocabulary. What to do when you’re telling yourself “I should.” The Four Tendencies and how you respond to outer and inner expectations. The difference between Upholder, Questioners, Obligers, Rebels. Diving into the challenges and positives of each tendency. Why it doesn’t work to try to change your tendency. Why “should” is a trigger. It’s only what I can do, what I will do, and what works for me. Why September is the new January RESOURCES The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin The Four Tendency by Gretchen Rubin Happier podcast Happier in Hollywood podcast The Four Tendencies Quiz Samuel Johnson, the Major Works   HELP THE SHOW 1 | Share the show via Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, or Twitter 2 | Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help more people find the show and I personally read each one. Here's how to do it: Launch Apple's Podcast app, then tap the Search tab. Enter The Feel Good Effect, then tap the Search key at the bottom right. Tap the album art for the podcast, then the Reviews tab. Tap Write a Review at the bottom, then tap the Stars to leave a rating. Enter title text and content to leave a review. Enter your nickname, then tap Send. The review won't show up right away, but it should be there within a day or so. Thank you so much for reviewing and helping the show! 3 | Subscribe on iTunes.

Today's episode reveals the hidden aspects of our nature that determine how we respond to the expectations of ourselves and others. JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP | REVIEW THIS PODCAST On this podcast, we discover Gretchen Rubin's new book "The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How To Make Your Life Better (And Other People's Lives Better, Too)" These 4 Tendencies give us a framework for how we react to the internal and external demands in our lives.  When we better understand these patterns in our behavior, we gain immense control over our actions and decisions. Although our personality type may be deeply ingrained,  we can benefit from knowing these predictable behavioral patterns and set ourselves up for success. Listen to Wellness Force Radio 129 as Gretchen shares her insight from decades of research in happiness, habits, and so much more. Listen To Episode 129 As Gretchen Uncovers: The personality framework that determines how we respond to expectations Character traits of the Obliger, Questioner, Rebel, and Upholder How to gain a deeper understanding of our actions The benefit from identifying these predictable patterns of our behavior The strengths and weaknesses of our different tendencies How we can fine-tune our self-awareness Why others may not see the world as we do Ways to set our internal and external framework up for success How these personality types play out in our relationships Ways to understand how our behavior fits into predictable patterns How we can avoid disempowering language Why Gretchen prefers the newspaper over televised news How to get the most out of yourself and others How to set up the accountability we need to meet an inner expectation The Four Tendencies in a nutshell: The Four Tendencies Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves Click Here To Take The Four Tendencies Quiz Top 3 Takeaways From Gretchen These personality traits may be deeply ingrained, but the great thing is we don't need to try and change who we are. Just by knowing our tendencies, we can set ourselves up for success. If you fall into the large category of Obligers, remember to be mindful of Obliger Rebellion. This is when the demands and expectations from others begin to overwhelm us, and we get to the point of burnout and resentment. Typically, this happens when the Obliger feels used or taken advantage of, which they typically are.  Set healthy boundaries for your external accountability. It's important to know that not everyone thinks like we do. And sometimes we can get upset when people don't live up to our expectations. There are times when we can't quite comprehend why people do the things they do. If we understand the personality traits and nature of others, we can remove judgment and enhance our impact, interactions, and relationships. Power Quotes From Gretchen Rubin   "The Four Tendencies help us illuminate the hidden aspects of our nature." - Gretchen Rubin "Perfectionism isn't about standards, it's about anxiety." - Gretchen Rubin "I believe these tendencies are hard-wired and genetically determined." - Gretchen Rubin "Your upbringing and culture affect how your tendency is expressed." - Gretchen Rubin "An upholder doesn't need to say "yes" to everything." - Gretchen Rubin "Obligers can find accountability by thinking about their future self." - Gretchen Rubin "It doesn't matter what you should be able to do, there's only what works for you." - Gretchen Rubin "When a Rebel pairs up at work or in romance, it's almost always with an Obliger." - Gretchen Rubin "The language we use leads to dramatically different results." - Gretchen Rubin Gretchen's New Book: "The Four Tendencies" During her multi-book investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you. Order Gretchen's new book "The Four Tendencies" The "Happier with Gretchen Rubin" Podcast Gretchen Rubin is HAPPIER, and she wants you to be happier too. The #1 bestselling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before gets more personal than ever as she brings her practical, manageable advice about happiness and good habits to this lively, thought-provoking podcast. Gretchen’s co-host and Gretchen’s co-host and guinea pig is her younger sister, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in Los Angeles, who (lovingly) refers to Gretchen as her happiness bully. Part of the Panoply Network. Listen To Gretchen's Podcast: "Happier with Gretchen Rubin" About Gretchen Rubin Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold almost three million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. She makes frequent TV appearances and is in much demand as a speaker. On her weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Rubin started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she wanted to be a writer. She lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. Read more about Gretchen on her About page. Links From Today's Show: Gretchen Rubin: Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Linkedin "The 4 Tendencies" "The Happiness Project" "Better Than Before" Gretchen Rubin's Podcast "Happier With Gretchen Rubin" Gretchen Rubin on Wellness Force - Episode 51 The Four Tendencies Quiz The Law of Attraction Feng Shui Loophole Spotting Yoda NBC's "The Office" Nick's Sticks Snack Gary Taubes Sleep To Win: Get 10% off your box of Sleep Remedy use code WF10 at checkout [spacer height="20px" id="2"] Get More Wellness In Your Life Join the WFR Community on facebook Send Josh Trent a personal message Tweet me on Twitter: Send us a fun tweet (or a what's up) Comment on the Facebook page Sign up to get an email alert whenever we release a new episode Support This Podcast Leave a 5 star review on iTunes Share this episode with someone you care about Contact Wellness Force Radio for podcast sponsorship and partnership opportunities Rate & Review Wellness Force ---> REVIEW THE PODCAST Ask A Live Question For The Next Episode ---> Click here to leave a voicemail directly to Josh Trent to be read live on the air.  You May Also Like These Episodes Food Freedom Forever With Melissa Hartwig Nir Eyal: Breaking Bad Habits, Technology Addiction, & Emotional Triggers Healthy, Happy & Harder To Kill w/ Steph Gaudreau of Stupid Easy Paleo Beyond Meditation: How To Get A Better Brain With Ariel Garten Living A Healthy Lifestyle In A Modern World With Dan Pardi Creating A Life Worth Living With Michael Strasner [spacer height="20px" id="2"] Join the Wellness Force Newsletter: www.wellnessforce.com/news Don't miss next week's show: Subscribe and stay updated Did you like this show? Rate and review Wellness Force on iTunes You read all the way to the bottom? 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Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he's on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He's off and running and you don't need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren't crazy—there's a reason for this. It comes down to a person's tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you've seen her on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she's created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he's on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He's off and running and you don't need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren't crazy—there's a reason for this. It comes down to a person's tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you've seen her on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she's created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he’s on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He’s off and running and you don’t need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren’t crazy—there’s a reason for this. It comes down to a person’s tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you’ve seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she’s created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Guest: Gretchen Rubin is the New York Times bestselling author of several books, including The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before and The Happiness Project.On her weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft.Want to hear more from Gretchen? Listen here to her 2015 conversation with Jonathan.About The Four Tendencies: During her investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen discovered that when it comes to our ability to start and stick with anything, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and succeed in nearly anything meaningful.Big Idea: Gretchen reveals the surprising truth about the four hidden personality types or tendencies that drive everything we do. Learn how to understand yourself better—and also how to influence others more effectively.Current passion project: Her new book, The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too). Join more than 600,000 people and learn more about your tendency by taking The Four Tendencies quiz here. Rockstar Sponsors: Wondering what's for dinner? Blue Apron is the #1 fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country, whose mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. Check out this week’s Blue Apron menu and get your first THREE meals FREE—WITH FREE SHIPPING—by going to blueapron.com/goodlife.Are you hiring? Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates? Unlike other job sites, ZipRecruiter doesn’t depend on candidates finding you; it finds them. And right now, our listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for FREE, That’s right. FREE! Just go to ZipRecruiter.com/good.Get paid online, on-time with Freshbooks, a cloud accounting software that makes it insanely easy for freelancers and professionals to get paid online, track expenses and do more of what you love. Get your 1-month free trial, no credit card required, at FreshBooks.com/goodlife (enter The Good Life Project in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section).

Why we should make or accept a repair attempt, a Sharpie hack, and how introverted Obligers can create outer accountability. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com/127; 774-277-9336. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Haven’t we all, at one time or another, struggled with getting new activities to become more permanent? Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project and fellow Podcaster, shares her research with us on how to create lasting habits. And because no single strategy works for everyone, she dove deeper into different personality types and how they can use their inherent predispositions to their advantage. She also discussed the challenges different personalities traits have so we can be aware of avoiding potential roadblocks. In her studies, she identified 4 general personality types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels. A link to her quiz is included below so you can learn how you may be able to make long-term positive changes in your own life. She also touches on simple strategies we can all add into our daily routines to be happier people, how to avoid getting off track once the rush of completing a major goal wears off, and shares examples she has come across with other runners that are extremely helpful. Many of us are still in a New Year, New You mindset and this episode provides powerful ideas to make sure that we stay on track with the goals we have set for ourselves, not just in the near-term, but for as long as we really want. Here are some of the topics we’ll discuss today: How our different personality traits determine how they form habits. Why we should use ‘milestones’ vs. ‘finish lines’ to maintain habits indefinitely. Why it’s important to protect key activities in our schedules and how to do it. Why and how we should use self-reflection of our prior experiences to realize what worked well, or didn’t, in our past. How we can proactively stave off ‘Runner’s Blues’ after accomplishing a big goal or avoid Seasonal Affective Disorder. Questions Gretchen is asked: 4:19 Why should people focus on personal improvement? 5:36 What are some examples of easy, significant changes someone can make? 8:34 What are the 4 Tendencies you refer to in your books? 11:33 Besides Upholders, how can runners who fall into the other Tendencies work with their strengths to achieve their running goals? 18:08 Are there any dangers with being an Upholder that they should look out for? 20:30 How does social media play into these different Tendencies? 24:31 What is the Danger Of A Finish Line? 27:25 What would you suggest to help people avoid Finish Line Dangers? 30:00 Could you swap related activities for specific activities during a recovery period? 31:26 How do you stay mentally engaged when your fastest running days are behind you? 33:47 Do people need to take a temporary clean break without a goal or does it vary by Tendency? 36:24 What if people still feel something is missing after achieving a goal, even if they have replaced the key activities related to that goal? 37:55 What advice do you have to help people avoid Seasonal Affective Disorder? 41:38 The Final Kick Round Quotes by Gretchen: If there’s something that you could do pretty easily that’s going to give you a big happiness boost, wouldn’t you want to do that? (Regarding Questioners): They tend to love data and reporting, so things like monitoring how far they’re going or what their time is, keeping records. Really figure it out, whatever it would take to make that decision because while you’re  not sure it’s going to block your way because you’re going to be sort of stuck... but once you decide then you can do it. (Regarding Obligers): If you’re an obliger you need ‘Outer Accountability’, you could work out with a trainer, you could join a running group where people are going to be annoyed if you don’t show up. (Regarding Rebels): They can do anything the WANT to do. The idea of a structured schedule, something that is very appealing to an Upholder, it’s a big turn-off for a Rebel. (Regarding Upholders): Upholders sometimes suffer from ‘tightening’ and this is when the ‘rules’ get tighter and tighter… Sometimes it can feel choking. If you feel like it’s sort of over-mastering you, you want to be aware that this is a phenomenon that Upholders can experience and you want to stay in control of it. Hitting a goal is a great way to hit a goal; it’s not a great way to keep a habit, because habits are usually things that we want to do indefinitely. It’s more helpful to think of a milestone. It’s a 30-day Yoga Challenge, but what are you doing on Day 34? To be happy you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, feeling right in an atmosphere of growth.      

A Minibee (Mini Being Indispensable) episode where Liz ruminates on what she's learned from reading about the four tendencies that Gretchen Rubin outlines in her bestselling book "Better Than Before": Upholders, Obligers, Rebels and Questioners.  By doing the online quiz Liz has established that she's a classic Obliger. What does this mean for her in terms of her relationship with her business leader and what can you learn by understanding your own tendency and that of your business leader. Come along for the ride and learn all about this fascinating topic.

When it comes to health and wellness, there is nothing more powerful than our habits. But in this modern, busy, sometimes even crazy world, what is the real secret to habit change that we all can apply? Does it matter for better wellness that you get up early, never take a bite of vanilla cake again, do crossfit or go running? Or is your tendency type so fixed so that you can eat what you want and still be healthy? In this episode, we'll get the answers to all these burning questions and much more, as we uncover the secret to habit change with #1 New York Times Best-selling Author, Gretchen Rubin. The Secret To Habit Change  I sat down with world famous author Gretchen Rubin last week in the Wellness Force studio to dive deep into a powerful question: Why do we do what we do? What came next over the next 60 minutes was powerful knowledge and tools extracted from Gretchen's 10+ years of research to help us better understand our habits and behaviors so we can show up more vital, healthy, and fit in our lives. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Our wellness force is the energy source that fuels us to be our very best. So today, we're tapping into, and getting more clear on your wellness force. Gretchen Rubin: Make or Break Your Habits Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. In Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, she provides surprising insights and practical advice drawn from cutting-edge research, ancient wisdom, and her own observations, about how we can make our lives better than before. She investigates the multiple strategies she’s identified that help us make and break our habits. After all, habits are the invisible architecture of a happy life, and when we change our habits, we change our lives. The secret to changing a habit? First, we must know ourselves, so we can suit our habits to our own nature. It was Rubin’s longstanding interest in happiness that led her to the study of habits, because when she talked to people about their happiness challenges, they often pointed to a habit that they couldn’t make or break. This pattern made her ask, “When and why can people successfully change a habit—or not?” What It Really Takes To Change Our Habits Many of us want to change our lives by getting rid of bad habits and adopting new habits. But changing something that is fundamental to our daily lives can be very difficult. To get insights into how we can make effective and lasting habit changes, Gretchen Rubin explains the spark that lead to her researching how to use the power of custom habits to help transform our everyday lives. On her own wellness journey and never-ending passion to master habits, Gretchen shares towards the end of the show how reading Gary Taubes book, "Why We Get Fat," dramatically increased her body and health awareness by changing her diet to low carb; which ended up transforming her life. But before anyone can transform their life, they first must deeply know themselves. Gretchen has formulated just exactly how we can tap into this self-awareness in a system she calls "The Four Tendencies." What Is Your Tendency Type? Last month, I sent out Gretchen's 4 tendencies quiz to my social circles and here were the results: 14 Obligers 3 Upholders 1 Rebel 5 Questioners Where do you fall? Learn more about yourself and take the quiz Are you a moderator or abstainer? What are your habit loopholes? Do you use the strategy of monitoring? What is your tendency type? Resources Mentioned In The Show FREE iOS Wellness Force podcast app Emotional Contagion Epigenetics Genetic roots of personality Obliger Rebellion Outer accountability Habit Loopholes 21 strategies to make or break your habits Pleasure of anticipation To Cheat Day or Not To Cheat Day? One Coin vs. The growing heap Real Self Actualization vs. Fake Self Actualization  The Four Tendency Types That Direct Your Health Why Gretchen Rubin Went Low Carb Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes Gretchen's Interview With Gary Taubes: Insulin Response Gretchen Rubin’s Mantra Thanks To Our Amazing Sponsor Want to avoid more trips to the store and save hundreds of dollars a year on superfood supplements? Check out Perfect Supplements.com Go to perfectsupplements.com/wellnessforce to get your grass-fed collagen from today's show and sign up for a free membership, plus get 10% off your entire order - just enter promo code "wellnessforce" at checkout. Ask A Live Question For The Next Episode Click here to leave a voicemail directly to Josh Trent to be read live on air! Rate & Review Wellness Force Aloha! Josh here. Listen, I deeply value your thoughts, now let your voice be heard! I thrive to serve better based on your words, feedback, and requests for the Wellness Force Community. (including breaking bad habits) Get Your Free Audio Book http://www.wellnessforce.com/FreeBook You May Also Like These Episodes A Personal Trainer For Your Mind With Julianna Raye Nir Eyal: Breaking Bad Habits, Technology Addiction, & Emotional Triggers Healthy, Happy & Harder To Kill w/ Steph Gaudreau of Stupid Easy Paleo Beyond Meditation: How To Get A Better Brain With Ariel Garten Living A Healthy Lifestyle In A Modern World With Dan Pardi  Creating A Life Worth Living With Michael Strasner Get More Wellness In Your Life: Download your free Digital Health Transformation Guide: wellnessforce.com/radio Don't miss next week's show: Subscribe and stay updated Did you like this show? Rate and review Wellness Force on iTunes So nice!  You read all the way to the bottom? That's what I call love! I do the same thing for the people, things, and movements I care about as well. PS: Looks like you and I share the same passion. I'm grateful for you and want to extend you my email address. Write to me and let me know what you'd like to have to get more wellness in your life!

Kari and friends sit down for the February Book Club book report on Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits—to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin. Serena Marie, RD, talks about how the four tendencies in Rubin's book help drive the food choices that we make. Also, Serena Marie and Kari do a Side Stitch by Ginny headband product review. Jabra Jiven' Jabra, a TRLS show sponsor, is giving away a pair of Pulse earbuds in March, so sprint over to Jabra.com/TRL and sign up for the TRLS e-mail list at therunninglifestyle.com/join to enter to win. This month's winner will also receive an amazing thirty-­minute exclusive Skype call with Kari. She loves the Pulse model because the sound quality is amazing, there are five different ear settings/fits, and she can do heart rate training as well. Featured Guests: The Book Club Gang Kari, go-to, real-food dietitian Serena Marie, RD, #1 TRLS fan Tracy Slayton (featured on “Seven Disney Race Reviews with a Father–Daughter Duo,” which was Episode 119), and Foti Panagakos (featured on “Chicago Marathon Recap w/Jeff Galloway & Team TRLS,” which was Episode 98 and who represents one of the TRLS Chicago team members who ran and raised funds and awareness for Action for Healthy Kids) all join forces to discuss the February Book Club pick. There are four different tendencies of people, and one of each is represented in today's episode. Take the quiz here. Understand yourself and how you're wired, and in return you can understand others more and you may be more understanding of others. #1: The Upholder (Foti)—someone who doesn't need outside accountability, he or she makes goals, sticks to them, and achieves them Foti read Gretchen's first book (The Happiness Project) and this particular title, and he knew almost right away what he was based on the criteria and the characteristics. He's very self-directed, and he likes to have goals in mind (deadlines, required obligations to finish). He doesn't finish early often, and he enjoys in some respects being under a little pressure (which he's been trying to work on). He believes in rules (they're there for a reason) and likes to follow them; for example, he dislikes when someone turns in a car and doesn't use the turn signal. If we can't obey simple rules, then why do we have them? #2: The Questioner (Kari)—someone who asks “Who are you to tell me this?” This type of person doesn't like to stand in line and can have tendencies toward one of two ways—to an Upholder or to a Rebel personality. Kari was surprised when she took the quiz that she became a Questioner. A Questioner can question authority, research, data, and so on, and many people don't like to be questioned. The downside is analysis paralysis. The way to overcome that is to go to three sources and make an informed decision. #3: The Obliger (Tracy)—someone who is a people pleasure Tracy was a little surprised that she was an Obliger, because she thought she would be an Upholder. This is someone who has a hard time meeting internal expectations, but doesn't struggle at all to meet external expectations. They can break promises to themselves, but have no trouble keeping promises to others. This is the only tendency type who is typically unhappy with what their tendency is. Obligers excel at work because they are reliable and dependable. One downside is not having enough time for themselves and sometimes that causes resentment toward others. It's hard for Obligers to say no to others. They tend to be sensitive to seeking others' approval. There's something called Obliger rebellion where they'll meet expectations over and over and then all of a sudden it's either a small or big act where they just stop meeting expectations and it's usually symbolic #4: The Rebel (Serena)—someone who resists inner and outer expectations No one has control of them including themselves. One negative of this is that Rebels sound mean or rude at times. Rebels can still be nice people, but they decide how they see themselves and that's how they motivate themselves to do things. If someone tells Serena to do something, she literally doesn't want to do it because someone told her to do it, or if she writes a To Do list, she doesn't want to do those things. Serena loves that she is a Rebel. They bring gusto and place a high value on authenticity. When it comes to couples, it's interesting which tendency marries what other tendency. Foti is an Upholder, and his wife Judy is an Obliger. Kari is a Questioner, and her husband Robert is an Upholder. (Kari skews to an Upholder, so it works well). Tracy is an Obliger, and her husband is an Obliger as well. She thought he would be a Questioner or a Rebel. For Rebels, they are oftentimes married to Obligers. Abstainers versus Moderators Abstainers (like Tracy and Foti) are people who prefer to never do something that's tempting to them. If you really like chocolate, you would make a rule to not eat chocolate. Moderators are people who like chocolate so they eat chocolate and not go out of control. Some people can be moderate in their abstaining with certain things. Four key things when it comes to habits and what helps you keep up those good habits: Sleeping (listen to Episode 71: “Sleep Doctor Robert Rosenberg”) Moving Eating and drinking properly Uncluttering Sleep for Foti is driven by his training (since he runs in the morning before work). Kari makes sleep a higher priority and getting off electronics an hour before going to bed and having a snack before bed (15 g carb and fat combo). Tracy is a night person, but she's bound to her husband's sleep schedule because she doesn't want to disturb his sleep. Serena uses an app to switch the light from being a red light to a blue light (which won't stimulate the brain so much); Serena wakes up early and works out in the morning. Kari asks Serena about the recommendations to drink 64 ounces of water a day. Gretchen says it's one of the biggest misnomers out there. Serena recommends looking at your urine color (pale yellow is good). Gretchen also talks about uncluttering. For most people, a cluttered space is a cluttered mind. Tracy knows that she's spreading herself too thin when her house is chaotic and she can't find the things she needs. Foti is all about organizing and keeping things straight. Rewards It could be a slippery slope of eating healthfully for awhile and then rewarding yourself with cake. Another example in the book was crossing a finish line after a marathon, taking two weeks off to rest, and then not running again for three years. At the end of the day, you be you and figure out what works the best for you. An “Mmmm” Moment Habits free us from our decision making. Associate with people who are likely going to improve you. Kari asks each member to speak to one friend or running group that has helped develop them into an even stronger person. Tracy: She runs every week with the Ocala Runners Club, because it's external accountability. Foti: He runs with the local running club periodically, but being part of online running communities (such as the TRLS Facebook group) are most important to him. Serena: As a Rebel, she's been on the South Brooklyn Running Club list serv for over a year, but she can't abide by her schedule, so she loves the TRLS Facebook group and her com group Kari: She loves running outside with friends. Must-Listen Podcasts Podcast Junkies by Harry Duran (listen to Kari's episode here) Introspectology by Joanna (Jo) James-Lynn (listen to Kari's episode here) The 5 AM Miracle Podcast by Jeff Sanders (listen to Kari's episode here) Side Stitch by Ginny Product Review Serena Marie, RD and Kari review Side Stitch by Ginny headbands. These are cloth headbands that have velcro on one side. Serena thinks they are adorable, are easy to wash, and she's totally obsessed with them. She purposely did HIIT training to get sweaty, and the headband stayed on perfectly. She threw it in the washer, and it came out looking brand new, so she really loved the design and comfort. Kari loves that the headband doesn't squeeze her head and doesn't give her a headache. She found them at Philadelphia Runner. There's a special discount to get two headbands for $20 there when you mention TRLS! She also loves the colors. When she puts her headband on, she's ready to work, her hair is out of her face, and she can focus. Serena feels excited to go work out to coordinate her outfit around her headband, and it gets her to the gym. You could match them to your normal, everyday wear. There's going to be a special TRLS edition of this headband with a special pattern and logo! Stay tuned for pictures on the TRLS site. Updates Kari is going to see Dr. Vinny for her back issues and should have an update on next week's episode. Gratitude Jar: Kari wants to come up with a theme song for this segment at the end of each episode and to think about something that they are grateful for. Serena: She is grateful for the warm weather because she's getting more Vitamin D. Kari: She is grateful that it seems like she's getting to the bottom of her back issues with a new PT and Dr. Vinny. March Book Club Don't forget that this month's book club book is Super Genes: Unlock the Astonishing Power of Your DNA for Optimum Health and Well-Being by Deepak Chopra, MD, and Dr. Rudi Tanzi. Kari thinks that this book is phenomenal. All the latest research shows that genes make up five percent of your chances of getting something like cancer. It also speaks to the power of habits. Next week, Kari chats with the amazing Kim Stemple to give an update on her next challenge and deep thoughts about the meaning of life and what matters in life. Kim was featured on “Special Mindful Monday w/Kim Stemple, Founder of We Finish Together” from Episode 103. Kari also announces the April Book Club book! Finally, please do us a solid and go over to iTunes to leave a review for TRLS! Here's how: Open the iTunes Store or App Store app. If you're not signed in, sign in with your Apple ID. Find the TRLS podcast to review, then tap Under iTunes Customer Reviews or App Store Customer Reviews, tap Write a Review. If prompted, enter your password. Select a star rating, enter a title, write your review, then tap Send. Guests: Tracy Slayton: Email: tracysdehart@gmail.com   Fotinos Panagakos:   Serena Marie, RD: Website: www.SerenaMarieRD.com Facebook: /SerenaMarieRD Twitter: @SerenaMarieRD Instagram: SerenaMarieRD   Kari Gormley: Facebook: The Running Lifestyle Show Twitter: @KariGormley Instagram: @KariGormley

Ep. 37: A close look at the Obliger Tendency. Are you like Elizabeth, and find it easy to meet outer expectations (a work deadline) but struggle to meet inner expectations (New Year's resolution)? Want to get in touch? @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com/37; 774-277-9336. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep. 11: Why we should "make the positive argument," are you a simplicity-lover or an abundance-lover, why it's hard to do the things that make us happy--and Elizabeth's sunscreen confession.  Want to get in touch? @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com/11; 774-277-9336. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices