Podcasts about obligers

Welcome back to another inspiring episode of "Women of Impact"! Today, our incredible host, Lisa Bilyeu, sits down with the brilliant and insightful Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author and happiness expert. Together, they explore the fascinating world of personal tendencies and how they shape our ability to meet expectations and form lasting habits. Gretchen delves into her "Four Tendencies" framework—obligers, questioners, upholders, and rebels—offering invaluable insights on how to leverage these traits to achieve personal success and happiness.In this episode, you'll discover the powerful role that outer accountability, self-awareness, and embracing individual differences play in our emotional well-being. Lisa and Gretchen highlight the importance of enjoying the journey rather than just the outcome, the impact of sleep, diet, and exercise on our moods, and the transformative effects of focusing on relationships and connecting through our senses.Gretchen also shares her wisdom from her latest book, "Life in Five Senses," and offers practical tips for using music, taste, and even scent to enhance our emotional states and deepen our relationships. Whether you're a rebel resisting the norm or an obliger thriving with accountability, this conversation will provide you with the tools and perspectives needed to craft your unique path to happiness. Tune in and get ready to be inspired!SHOWNOTES00:00 Seek new experiences, address loneliness, take action.05:27 Focus on actionable steps, not just outcomes.08:44 Questioning traps, obstacles, and external validation in happiness.13:40 Meditation didn't work, that's okay, I'm different.15:54 Four tendencies framework identifies individual personality types.18:47 Obligers need outer accountability for inner expectations.22:55 Questioners seek thorough understanding before taking action.26:36 Sweetheart not ideal as accountability partner.28:01 Empowerment through understanding habits and choices.34:29 Strong relationships, support crucial for happiness.36:26 Five senses are key to happiness and wellness.39:37 Lost memory leads to new taste experiences.45:19 Indulging senses can uplift and energize.46:14 Effusive praise for genius scent and yearning.49:28 Encouraging self-improvement through subscription and following.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Some people have no trouble meeting expectations for others but struggle to follow through on what they want for themselves. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We revisit the Four Tendencies to explore the three biggest challenges Obligers face—shame, exploitation, and rebellion—and what actually helps. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why You Keep Starting Over (And The Habit System That Actually Works)If you keep starting over with your workouts, nutrition, or routines and you're starting to think the problem is your motivation or discipline, this episode will completely change how you think about habits.Because the truth is: willpower isn't the problem. Most people are using a habit system that doesn't match how they're wired. And when that happens, even the best plan eventually falls apart.In this episode of the Redefining Strength Podcast I sit down with Gretchen Rubin, one of the world's leading experts on habits, happiness, and human nature and the New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies.Together, we'll break down:Why some people need accountability, some need freedom, some need clarity, and why forcing yourself into the wrong system keeps you stuckThe Four Tendencies framework (Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels) and how each type should build habits differentlyWhy identity can either support your goals or secretly sabotage themThe simple One-Minute Rule that can dramatically reduce mental clutter and build momentumHow to stop blaming yourself and finally build habits that actually stickIf you've ever said:“I'm great for a few weeks and then I fall off.”“I know what to do, I just can't stay consistent.”“I feel like I'm always starting over.”This episode is for you.

Self-Awareness is the Key to Habit TransformationGretchen Rubin emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in understanding our behaviors and motivations, particularly when it comes to habit formation and goal achievement. She explains the Four Tendencies as:Upholders - meet both outer and inner expectationsQuestioners - question all expectations and will only meet them if they make sense Obligers - readily meet outer expectations but struggle with inner expectationsRebels - who resist all expectations, whether they are external or internalThis episode is jam-packed with tips and insight!

If you've ever wondered how you can better motivate yourself, this episode about The Four Tendencies is for you! Sammie and Michelle are big fans of The Four Tendencies.  Sammie is an Upholder and is the go to person to get things done, for herself and for anyone in her life. Michelle is a Rebel. She does not like to be told what to do, whether that's from the outside or even listening to herself. They also cover Questioners (needing to know the why) and Obligers (better at meeting outer expectations) in this episode. Sammie and Michelle found that understanding their tendency was a huge key in unlocking their own success.  Take Gretchen Rubin's The Four Tendencies Quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

In this episode of The Grit Show, Shawna Rodrigues uncovers the secrets behind why we succeed—or fail—to meet expectations. Featuring Gretchen Rubin's acclaimed personality framework, Shawna touches on the characteristics of Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels - focusing on Upholders and Questioners to open this conversation. She shares intriguing personal experiences, like how her questioning nature affects her work and offers examples of the Upholders in her life, such as her partner, responding to clear expectations. Perfect for anyone seeking to understand their own behavior, improve their relationships, and better understand what it takes to motivate ourselves and others - this episode is packed with eye-opening insights. Join us for a thought-provoking exploration into the way we handle life's demands and how understanding our tendencies can empower us.Make sure you are following or subscribed to this podcast to hear the conclusion of this conversation and more on Rebels and Obligers.Take Gretchen Rubin's quiz on the Four TendenciesOther episodes referenced: Delay Don't Deny & Fast Feast Repeat with NYT Bestselling Author Gin Stephens -31Send Shawna an email with your questions and thoughts for the next episode: connect@thegritshow.comShawna Rodrigues left her award-winning career in the public sector in 2019 and after launching The Grit Show, soon learned the abysmal fact that women hosted only 27% of podcasts. This led to the founding of the Authentic Connections Podcast Network intent on raising that number by 10% in five years- 37 by 27. Because really, shouldn't it be closer to 50%? She is the Director of Impact for the network, which offers full-service support for podcasting from mentoring to production. In September 2023 they are also launching the EPAC (Entrepreneurs and Podcasters Authentically Connected) community for those in early stages and wanting a place for weekly connection. She still finds a little time for her pursuits as a best-selling author and shares the hosting of Author Express, a podcast that features the voice behind the pages of your favorite book. Find her on Instagram- @ShawnaPodcasts and learn more about the network and other happenings at https://linktr.ee/37by27.Stay Connected to The Grit ShowFollow us on Instagram: @The.Grit.ShowGrab your copy of our Self-Care Coloring Pages & as a bonus, you'll get weekly email reminders when episodes come out!https://ColoringPages.TheGritShow.comYou can also purchase the full-size gift worthy Color of Grit Adult Coloring Book here bit.ly/TGSMermaidReally love us and want to show it??Give us a review on your favorite platform and share this (or any) episode with afriend. Word of mouth builds podcasts - we appreciate your support!!...

Inspired by Gretchen Rubin's "The Four Tendencies" John & Rachael take a deeper look into Tendency Types. Gretchen's work looks into how you respond to expectations. Whilst not absolute people tend to fall into one of the following tendency types: Obligers need accountability Upholders want to know what should be done Questioners want justifications Rebels need the freedom to do something in their own way We look at how these different tendency types present for children, and how it challenges us as Parents and Carers, helping you identify your families tendency type, and giving some tips on how to approach some difficult conversations. As we describe each type we also look at the sort of things to look out for in the world of work, what this means for you as a leader, and how you can identify team members and alter your approach. If you want to take Gretchens Tendency Quiz to understand your type you can click the link here. Our Leadership Essentials: How you can increase your own self-awareness of your response to expectations How you can check your own perspective, and consider how you approach others Take the opportunity to ask more questions, rather than make statements. For more information you can visit https://gretchenrubin.com/

In her book The Four Tendencies, author and podcaster Gretchen Rubin outlines her personality framework based upon how you respond to internal and external expectations. Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels approach decluttering and organizing differently, which Rubin outlines briefly in her book Outer Order, Inner Calm. Today I dive a bit more into Rubin's four tendencies and provide some additional recommendations on how to create a personalzed decluttering plan based upon your type! Resources Mentioned (affiliate links may be included): Four Tendencies Quiz Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness by Gretchen Rubin The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How To Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubin The Minimalists' Mins Game *2 Year Pod-iversary Review Giveaway! Ends September 30!*

Gretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. We discuss happiness at length in today's conversation, but we also discuss frameworks, and I think you're going to find right off the bat that Gretchen sees things in terms of frameworks, in terms of theory. But she's also known for her ability to convey complex ideas from science, to literature, to stories from her own life, with levity and clarity. So, we bring her into this conversation and we actually bring myself in to today's conversation, and I think that will make it really come to life. She's a writer, and she's going to articulate how much she loves writing and how big of an impact writing has made on her life and how she sees the world. She's the author of many bestselling books, such as The Happiness Project, Better than Before, and The Four Tendencies, which has sold millions of copies in more than 30 languages. Her most recent book, which we reference in today's conversation, is Life in 5 Senses. She's also the host of the popular podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin and the founder of the award-winning “Happier” app, which helps people track their happiness-boosting habits. She's been interviewed by Oprah, she's spent time with Daniel Kahneman, she's walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, and her work has been reported on in a medical journal (which eventually got written up in The New Yorker). So, she's been in all kinds of interesting spaces; she's also been an answer on Jeopardy, which is a claim to fame for her. I think this conversation will give you a sense of yourself, which is what I really appreciate about it; it'll make you think about yourself and hopefully make you a little more aware of how you show up for you and for others. Gretchen had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “If we want to make our lives happier, healthier, more productive, more creative, one of the things we need to figure out is how to make habits” (6:00). “Depending on whether we meet or resist outer and inner expectations, that's what makes us an upholder, a questioner, an obliger, or a rebel” (7:50). “Upholders are people who readily meet both outer and inner expectations” (8:00). “Questioners question all expectations; they'll do something if they think it makes sense” (10:25). “Obliger is the biggest tendency, for both men and women” (16:00). “Obligers are people who readily meet outer accountability, but they struggle to meet inner accountability” (16:10). “If you want to meet an inner expectation as an obliger, you need to create a system of outer accountability” (16:25). “The way to keep a promise to yourself is to make a promise to someone else” (16:55). “Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike” (17:35). “From the practical comes the transcendent” (19:55). “My behavior follows from my identity” (22:10). “Allow rebel children to face the consequences of their actions; that is how a rebel learns” (23:20). “Sometimes these little adjustments in communication can have massive consequences in behavior” (25:05). “Once you understand the mechanism of what's going on, it's a lot easier to address it” (28:10). “For many people, there's a sense that they kind of neglect” (30:50). “Whatever you want to achieve in your life, even if they're contradictory, the five senses can help you” (35:50). “I really get tremendous satisfaction out of just being able to explore ideas in all these different ways and exercise my creativity in a lot of different ways” (40:40). “We want to accept ourselves and also expect more from ourselves” (44:25). “I think the word motivation is very complicated” (46:25). “You can't expect to be motivated by motivation” (47:30). “I never define happiness” (1:04:45). “We all can decide for ourselves what it means to be happy” (1:05:00). “Negative emotions have a very important part to play” (1:06:05). “If you get interested in something, really try to become a minor expert” (1:15:30). “The more you know, the more questions you have” (1:16:05). Additionally, you can find everything you need to know about Gretchen and connect with her on her website, as well as following her on all social media platforms @GretchenRubin. I'd also highly encourage you to check out Gretchen's podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, wherever you consume your podcasts. Thank you so much to Gretchen for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Welcome back to another inspiring episode of "Women of Impact"! Today, our incredible host, Lisa Bilyeu, sits down with the brilliant and insightful Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author and happiness expert. Together, they explore the fascinating world of personal tendencies and how they shape our ability to meet expectations and form lasting habits. Gretchen delves into her "Four Tendencies" framework—obligers, questioners, upholders, and rebels—offering invaluable insights on how to leverage these traits to achieve personal success and happiness.In this episode, you'll discover the powerful role that outer accountability, self-awareness, and embracing individual differences play in our emotional well-being. Lisa and Gretchen highlight the importance of enjoying the journey rather than just the outcome, the impact of sleep, diet, and exercise on our moods, and the transformative effects of focusing on relationships and connecting through our senses.Gretchen also shares her wisdom from her latest book, "Life in Five Senses," and offers practical tips for using music, taste, and even scent to enhance our emotional states and deepen our relationships. Whether you're a rebel resisting the norm or an obliger thriving with accountability, this conversation will provide you with the tools and perspectives needed to craft your unique path to happiness. Tune in and get ready to be inspired!SHOWNOTES00:00 Seek new experiences, address loneliness, take action.05:27 Focus on actionable steps, not just outcomes.08:44 Questioning traps, obstacles, and external validation in happiness.13:40 Meditation didn't work, that's okay, I'm different.15:54 Four tendencies framework identifies individual personality types.18:47 Obligers need outer accountability for inner expectations.22:55 Questioners seek thorough understanding before taking action.26:36 Sweetheart not ideal as accountability partner.28:01 Empowerment through understanding habits and choices.34:29 Strong relationships, support crucial for happiness.36:26 Five senses are key to happiness and wellness.39:37 Lost memory leads to new taste experiences.45:19 Indulging senses can uplift and energize.46:14 Effusive praise for genius scent and yearning.49:28 Encouraging self-improvement through subscription and following.CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORSShopify: Sign up for a $1/month trial period at https://impacttheory.co/shopifyWOIsept Tabu: Go to https://www.heytabu.com/discount/LISA15 and use code LISA15 to save 15% off your orderFOLLOW LISA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeuYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/womenofimpactTik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_bilyeu?lang=enLISTEN AD FREE + BONUS EPISODES on APPLE PODCASTS: apple.co/womenofimpact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome back to another inspiring episode of "Women of Impact"! Today, our incredible host, Lisa Bilyeu, sits down with the brilliant and insightful Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author and happiness expert. Together, they explore the fascinating world of personal tendencies and how they shape our ability to meet expectations and form lasting habits. Gretchen delves into her "Four Tendencies" framework—obligers, questioners, upholders, and rebels—offering invaluable insights on how to leverage these traits to achieve personal success and happiness. In this episode, you'll discover the powerful role that outer accountability, self-awareness, and embracing individual differences play in our emotional well-being. Lisa and Gretchen highlight the importance of enjoying the journey rather than just the outcome, the impact of sleep, diet, and exercise on our moods, and the transformative effects of focusing on relationships and connecting through our senses. Gretchen also shares her wisdom from her latest book, "Life in Five Senses," and offers practical tips for using music, taste, and even scent to enhance our emotional states and deepen our relationships. Whether you're a rebel resisting the norm or an obliger thriving with accountability, this conversation will provide you with the tools and perspectives needed to craft your unique path to happiness. Tune in and get ready to be inspired! SHOWNOTES 00:00 Seek new experiences, address loneliness, take action. 05:27 Focus on actionable steps, not just outcomes. 08:44 Questioning traps, obstacles, and external validation in happiness. 13:40 Meditation didn't work, that's okay, I'm different. 15:54 Four tendencies framework identifies individual personality types. 18:47 Obligers need outer accountability for inner expectations. 22:55 Questioners seek thorough understanding before taking action. 26:36 Sweetheart not ideal as accountability partner. 28:01 Empowerment through understanding habits and choices. 34:29 Strong relationships, support crucial for happiness. 36:26 Five senses are key to happiness and wellness. 39:37 Lost memory leads to new taste experiences. 45:19 Indulging senses can uplift and energize. 46:14 Effusive praise for genius scent and yearning. 49:28 Encouraging self-improvement through subscription and following. CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS Shopify: Sign up for a $1/month trial period at https://impacttheory.co/shopifyWOIsept  Tabu: Go to https://www.heytabu.com/discount/LISA15 and use code LISA15 to save 15% off your order FOLLOW LISA: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/womenofimpact Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_bilyeu?lang=en LISTEN AD FREE + BONUS EPISODES on APPLE PODCASTS: apple.co/womenofimpact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We discuss research suggesting that during the first three weeks with strangers in a new environment (such as a cruise or college), we have a special window for making friends. We also talk about why setting an alarm can alleviate restlessness and anxiety, and we address a question from an Obliger about how to deal with the fact that members of her family don't do their share. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin on YouTube @GretchenRubin on TikTok @GretchenRubin on Instagram @GretchenRubin on Threads @LizCraft on Instagram @LizCraft on Threads @GretchenRubin on ThreadsGet the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/496 Get Gretchen Rubin's newest New York Times bestselling book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now available wherever books are sold. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Send us a Text Message.In this episode, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford discuss Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies quiz, which explores how individuals respond to expectations. They break down each of the four tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Upholders readily meet both outer and inner expectations, while Questioners resist outer expectations and meet inner expectations. Obligers meet outer expectations but struggle with inner expectations, relying on external accountability. Rebels resist all expectations, valuing freedom and choice. The hosts discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each tendency and share personal anecdotes. In this conversation, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford discuss the four tendencies framework and how it can help individuals understand themselves and work better with others. They explore each of the four tendencies (upholder, questioner, obliger, and rebel) and share personal anecdotes and insights. They also discuss the importance of knowing your team's tendencies and adapting your communication and management style accordingly. The conversation emphasizes the value of self-awareness and intentional work environments.Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books!Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.

Claim your complimentary gift of my exclusive mini weight care guide today!Link: Weight Care Guide — Dr. Francavilla Show (thedrfrancavillashow.com)Ever wonder why some people breeze through their to-do lists while others struggle to get anything done?In today's episode, we'll explore how understanding personality types, as outlined by Gretchen Rubin in The Four Tendencies, can potentially help you manage your weight—or help others manage theirs. These insights into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels can provide valuable strategies tailored to your or someone else's unique approach to goals and expectations, offering new ways to stay motivated and achieve success in health and fitness goals.Rubin's framework categorizes people into four personality types:Upholders: They readily meet both inner and outer expectations, making them proficient at sticking to plans and goals, including those related to weight management.Questioners: They meet inner expectations but question outer ones. For weight management, they need reasons and justifications for their health choices.Obligers: They meet outer expectations but struggle with inner ones. They may excel with external accountability, making them responsive to support and encouragement in weight management efforts.Rebels: They resist both inner and outer expectations and thrive on spontaneity and freedom. For weight management, they may benefit from non-traditional, flexible approaches.By identifying your or someone else's tendency, you can tailor strategies to maximize motivation and overcome challenges in achieving health goals. Understanding these dynamics can make a significant difference in how effectively you approach weight management and overall well-being. Ready to dive deeper? Listen to the full episode for further insights!Visit Gretchen Rubin's website to explore her Four Tendencies framework: Gretchen Rubin - https://gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies/Connect with me:Instagram: doctorfrancavillaFacebook: Help Your Patients Lose Weight with Dr. FrancavillaWebsite: Dr. Francavilla ShowYoutube: The Doctor Francavilla ShowGLP Strong: glpstrong.com

Greetings Recapsters! For this episode, we discuss Gretchin Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, where she discusses how people respond to inner (stop nagging) and outer (traffic laws) expectations. She also wrote Better than Before to help us discover why some people can form habits more easily than others.How do we change? Habits are the invisible architecture of our lives. 40% of our daily behaviors are repeated, why not harness this information to gain self-knowledge that will help us adopt habits successfully? 41% of the population are Obligers. “You can count on me and I'm counting on you to count on me.” They are motivated by external expectations and struggle with inner expectations and with saying no. 24% of the people fall into the Questioner category. “I will comply if you convince me why.” They are motivated by clarity, reason, logic and fairness. They can have bouts of analysis paralysis. 19% of folks are Upholders. These are the people that respond readily to inner and outer expectations. Discipline is their freedom. 17% fall into the Rebel category. “You can't make me, and neither can I.” This group places a high value on authenticity and acts best when you give them the information and let them make a choice. Our tendencies color the way we see the world. If you want to take the short quiz to discover your tendency click here. Thank you for joining us on our quest to read the best! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recapbookchat/message

We talk about how Elizabeth's novel-writing is going, now that the Hollywood writers' strike is over. Inspired by a recent wedding, we discuss the huge contribution that old friends can make to our happiness. Plus we highlight a great suggestion from a listener about how Obligers (and people around Obligers) can create useful accountability. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Instagram @GretchenRubin on TikTok and YouTube Get the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get Gretchen Rubin's newest New York Times bestselling book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now availablewherever books are sold. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We talk about why it's a good idea to re-examine our personal, work, and family routines to look for opportunities to improve. We also discuss how Obligers can recognize when they're entering the state of Obliger-rebellion, and we answer a listener question about our reading habits. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin on YouTube @GretchenRubin on TikTok @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Instagram @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Threads Get the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/446 Get Gretchen Rubin's newest book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now available - order here. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts— Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I will introduce you to one of my favorite tools in my business, The Four Tendencies framework for dealing with expectations. How we deal with expectations, our own and those of others, has a significant impact on our business and personal lives. Some of us always go the extra mile for others but let ourselves down on a regular basis and others are the exact opposite. Knowing our own tendency and that of our clients, our team members, and even our friends and family members can make the difference between referral business, testimonials and long-term relationships and negative reviews, disappointment and frequent turnover. This framework is taken from the book, “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin. And in this episode, I will explore each one: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel, and how they impact our ability to meet expectations. The information I share will center around the common challenges each tendency faces, as well as their unique strengths. By the end of this episode, you'll have a deeper understanding of your own tendency and how it influences your interactions with others and your approach to meeting expectations. There are 5 important questions at the end and an invitation to DM me on Linked In or Instagram to let me know what you think MY tendency is and to share yours! Don't forget to grab the worksheet that summarizes each of the Four Tendencies to use in your business and with your team, here: https://bit.ly/3BS1yW4To go deeper after listening: 1. How do you typically approach meeting expectations in your business or work life? Do you tend to prioritize meeting the expectations of others or your own?2. Have you ever felt misunderstood or frustrated by the expectations placed on you by others? How did this impact your interactions and relationships?3. In what ways do you think understanding your tendency in meeting expectations can benefit your mental health and overall well-being?4. How do you navigate the tension between meeting the expectations of others and prioritizing your own needs and self-care? What practices or strategies have you implemented to find a balance?5. When working with others, what steps can you take to ensure that expectations are clear and achievable for everyone involved?Want to schedule a Strategy day for planning how to work more effectively with your team based on your (and their) tendencies? This would be an excellent use of a VIP Day, but don't wait because Boss Up Bootcamps are going away soon. Whether it's a Strategy Date, an Accountability Date or a Brainstorm to Breakthrough intensive, you will be amazed at how fast we can move the needle in your business with focus & action! Click here for more info and here to schedule a free consultation to see which bootcamp has YOUR name all over it! Are we connected on Linked In? What are we waiting for? https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/00:22:46 Questioners struggle to answer others' questions due to their own intense curiosity and tendency to generate endless inquiries. 00:29:07 Obligers at risk for burnout, cultural...

In this episode, I will introduce you to one of my favorite tools in my business, The Four Tendencies framework for dealing with expectations. How we deal with expectations, our own and those of others, has a significant impact on our business and personal lives. Some of us always go the extra mile for others but let ourselves down on a regular basis and others are the exact opposite. Knowing our own tendency and that of our clients, our team members, and even our friends and family members can make the difference between referral business, testimonials and long-term relationships and negative reviews, disappointment and frequent turnover. This framework is taken from the book, “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin. And in this episode, I will explore each one: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel, and how they impact our ability to meet expectations. The information I share will center around the common challenges each tendency faces, as well as their unique strengths. By the end of this episode, you'll have a deeper understanding of your own tendency and how it influences your interactions with others and your approach to meeting expectations. There are 5 important questions at the end and an invitation to DM me on Linked In or Instagram to let me know what you think MY tendency is and to share yours! Don't forget to grab the worksheet that summarizes each of the Four Tendencies to use in your business and with your team, here: https://bit.ly/3BS1yW4To go deeper after listening: 1. How do you typically approach meeting expectations in your business or work life? Do you tend to prioritize meeting the expectations of others or your own?2. Have you ever felt misunderstood or frustrated by the expectations placed on you by others? How did this impact your interactions and relationships?3. In what ways do you think understanding your tendency in meeting expectations can benefit your mental health and overall well-being?4. How do you navigate the tension between meeting the expectations of others and prioritizing your own needs and self-care? What practices or strategies have you implemented to find a balance?5. When working with others, what steps can you take to ensure that expectations are clear and achievable for everyone involved?Want to schedule a Strategy day for planning how to work more effectively with your team based on your (and their) tendencies? This would be an excellent use of a VIP Day, but don't wait because Boss Up Bootcamps are going away soon. Whether it's a Strategy Date, an Accountability Date or a Brainstorm to Breakthrough intensive, you will be amazed at how fast we can move the needle in your business with focus & action! Click here for more info and here to schedule a free consultation to see which bootcamp has YOUR name all over it! Are we connected on Linked In? What are we waiting for? https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/00:22:46 Questioners struggle to answer others' questions due to their own intense curiosity and tendency to generate endless inquiries. 00:29:07 Obligers at risk for burnout, cultural...

Knowing the facts/data about yourself and your personality can help you effectively habit hack your health. This is the first step of my HABIT HACKING SYSTEM inside of the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR. I have each client take The 4 Tendencies Quiz.  The 4 Tendencies is a personality framework developed by Gretchen Rubin, outlined in her book "The Four Tendencies." This framework categorizes people into four main tendencies based on how they respond to inner and outer expectations. Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.  We'll break down each tendency and provide habit loops for each to ensure your healthy habits will stick! *** HABIT HACKS: -Get the FREE HEALTHY HABIT RESET MASTERCLASS! -Access the secret podcast ATOMIC HABITS FOR WOMEN -Get my most popular tracker from the shop, the ULTIMATE HABIT TRACKER! -Access my signature program, the HEALTHY HABITS ACCELERATOR -CHECK OUT THE FREEBIE VAULT!: Access habit tools, self care checklist, ingredient meal tips, free workouts and more!    LET'S CONNECT: Connect with Emily: @emilynichols22@habithackshop.co www.emily-nichols.com   

Today on The Mindvalley Show, embark on a journey of self-discovery with acclaimed writer Gretchen Rubin as she unravels the enigmatic world of The Four Tendencies. Renowned for her ability to distill complex ideas into relatable wisdom, Rubin introduces the intriguing personalities that shape our responses to expectations. Her bestselling book "The Four Tendencies" delves into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—distinct types that impact how we navigate life's demands. In this episode, Rubin exposes the strengths and challenges of each tendency. Whether you're an Upholder who readily meets inner and outer expectations, a Questioner who seeks rationality, an Obliger who thrives under external accountability, or a Rebel who defies convention, understanding your tendency can revolutionize your growth journey. Tune in to gain insights into effective communication and leadership strategies tailored to these tendencies, empowering you to navigate relationships and professional endeavors with newfound clarity. Discover your tendency, leverage it for growth, and gain valuable insights into effective interaction and leadership. Tune in now and embark on a transformative exploration that will reshape your perception of yourself and others. Key takeaways: [01:19] The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel [02:59] How your tendency affects your behavior [03:44] Upholder tendency: meets both outer and inner expectations [05:14] Questioner tendency: questions all expectations and needs reasons [7:28] Obliger tendency: meets outer expectations but struggles with inner expectations [9:30] Rebel tendency: resists both outer and inner expectations [11:52] How to communicate and lead different personality types [15:30] The concept of Obliger Rebellion [17:54] The unique strength of The Rebel Where to find our guest: GretchenRubin.com Memorable Quotes: "There's no right, there's no wrong. It's just whatever works for you." [2:45] -Gretchen Rubin "There's enormous power in the rebel tendency. They tend to be great entrepreneurs because then they're making the rules and doing things their own way." [18:31] -Gretchen Ruben To stay connected and to learn more about Vishen and Mindvalley, click on the links below:  Website: Mindvalley.com YouTube: @vishenlakhiani Instagram: @mindvalley Instagram: @vishen Facebook: @mindvalley   Subscribe to 'Mindvalley Membership' to discover 65+ transformational Mindvalley programs – at a surprisingly low annual fee here

What's the best way to motivate yourself? Through her research, Gretchen Rubin came up with The Four Tendencies, four different ways people respond to internally and / or externally motivation. Sammie for example, is an upholder, and will often complete a task if she decides to do it or if someone like her boss needs her to do it. Michelle, a rebel, listens to know one, including herself. Obligers respond to external motivation and suffer if they have to hold themselves accountable. Questioners need to know they why behind the task, and that will determine whether or not they do something.  Sammie and Michelle loved revisiting this fan favorite episode. Take Gretchen Rubin's quiz and visit our website to let us know your tendency! You can leave a comment at buildawealthyspirit.com Show NotesThe Four Tendencies QuizThe Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)  by Gretchen Rubin Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

Today on The Mindvalley Show, embark on a journey of self-discovery with acclaimed writer Gretchen Rubin as she unravels the enigmatic world of The Four Tendencies. Renowned for her ability to distill complex ideas into relatable wisdom, Rubin introduces the intriguing personalities that shape our responses to expectations. Her bestselling book "The Four Tendencies" delves into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—distinct types that impact how we navigate life's demands. In this episode, Rubin exposes the strengths and challenges of each tendency. Whether you're an Upholder who readily meets inner and outer expectations, a Questioner who seeks rationality, an Obliger who thrives under external accountability, or a Rebel who defies convention, understanding your tendency can revolutionize your growth journey. Tune in to gain insights into effective communication and leadership strategies tailored to these tendencies, empowering you to navigate relationships and professional endeavors with newfound clarity. Discover your tendency, leverage it for growth, and gain valuable insights into effective interaction and leadership. Tune in now and embark on a transformative exploration that will reshape your perception of yourself and others.   Key takeaways: [01:19] The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel [02:59] How your tendency  affects your behavior [03:44] Upholder tendency: meets both outer and inner expectations [05:14] Questioner tendency: questions all expectations and needs reasons [7:28] Obliger tendency: meets outer expectations but struggles with inner expectations [9:30] Rebel tendency: resists both outer and inner expectations [11:52] How to communicate and lead different personality types [15:30] The concept of Obliger Rebellion [17:54] The unique strength of The Rebel   Where to find our guest: GretchenRubin.com   Memorable Quotes: "There's no right, there's no wrong. It's just whatever works for you." [2:45] -Gretchen Rubin "There's enormous power in the rebel tendency. They tend to be great entrepreneurs because then they're making the rules and doing things their own way." [18:31] -Gretchen Ruben   To stay connected and to learn more about Vishen and Mindvalley, click on the links below:  Website: Mindvalley.com YouTube: @vishenlakhiani Instagram: @mindvalley Instagram: @vishen Facebook: @mindvalley   Subscribe to 'Mindvalley Membership' to discover 65+ transformational Mindvalley programs – at a surprisingly low annual fee here

Have you ever called yourself lazy or undisciplined because you can't ever seem to get your goals accomplished?  Do you ever feel like you have time to help everyone else, but when it's time to invest in yourself, there's no time left?  How about those New Year's Resolutions? Did you give up on them years ago, knowing you'll never do them? It's time for part 2 of Revolutionize Your Life With These 4 Tendencies. Let's talk about Obligers and how to get those internal expectations working for you instead of against you. And if you're not an Obliger, how can you support those reaching for their dreams? Today is for you if… If you're tired of beating yourself up for not getting it done…again. If you desire to fulfill your God-given purpose but struggle to make progress. If you need the key to keep you on the right path to accomplishing your goals. Now, let's tackle each tendency individually. You'll understand yourself better and how your tendency relates to others. This will help you fully express who you are, engage more effectively with others and ultimately help you fulfill the life Father's called you to. Let's talk Obliger. Obligers never seem to accomplish their personal goals, yet always get that report to their boss on time. The kids can count on them to get them to their sporting event, even though they originally planned to have some “you time.” If any of this hits home, you, my friend, might just be an Obliger. Obligers are great at meeting external expectations but not internal ones. As Obligers, we must create EXTERNAL accountability to achieve those internal expectations.  Knowing this is freeing. You can now create a game plan to help yourself meet those internal expectations that you've been putting off for years! 1. Enlist Accountability Partner(s) In her book, The 4 Tendencies, Gretchen shared an excellent example of how two Obligers managed to be each other's accountability partners to work out at the gym. They would each exchange a shoe when they left the gym. Now they must show up, or their friend can't work out. Brilliant!! Cut, print, check the gate!  Get creative and find those accountability partners to help you meet those internal expectations. 2. Employ Apps to Hold You Accountable I use the Lose It app to track my weight and exercise. It helps me make better food choices. I know if I'm maintaining my weight and can take immediate action if I'm not. The app holds me accountable because I will gain weight if I don't use it.  3. Use a Planner to Hold You Accountable for Your Goals and Tasks It can be paper or virtual, or a hybrid of both. I do a hybrid of my digital calendar and paper planner. Use whatever works, but try something. How can others help an Obliger? 1. Don't take advantage of an Obliger It can be so easy to continually go to the Obliger for help because you know they'll say, “yes.”  Please don't take advantage of their helpful Obliger nature. 2. Watch out for Obliger Rebellion Obliger rebellion is when Obligers have had enough and rebel against the external expectations coming at them. It may look like it's coming out of now where, but it's been building my friends. So, please be sensitive to not push your Obliger friends to the point of Obliger rebellion. To my Obliger friends, you can watch out for this by learning to say “no.”  3. Ask how you can help the Obliger to help them meet their internal expectation. Ask–don't tell.  Next time, we're going to delve into the Rebel!  Homework: If you're an Obliger, what's the best way you've found to employ external accountability to get done your internal expectations? Or, what will you use now to hold you accountable? For non-Obligers, what's one way you think you could help your fellow Obligers with accountability? Still need to take the quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/ Thanks a bunch for listening!  You got this, and Father's got you! Until Next Time, Live Fearlessly Free!

We talk about why it's useful to find our own way to look around a museum—and we offer some unusual suggestions. We also discuss a useful health hack, and discuss listeners' thoughtful responses to question from the OBLIGER/Rebel who resists accountability—even though she needs it. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft on Instagram @GretchenRubin on TikTok and YouTube Get the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get the resources and all links related to this episode: http://happiercast.com/421 Get Gretchen Rubin's newest book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now available for pre-order. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts— Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Liz and Sarah are setting their own deadlines on a current project - and that can be a challenge for these two Obligers. How will they manage to stay on track? In Take A Hike, Sarah reveals how the recent rains in Southern California made her realize it's a good idea to practice for an emergency. Next, in The Craft (& Fain), they discuss the importance of doing your research before diving into a new genre. And this Hollywood Hack is changing Liz's life: the Apple Magic Keyboard. LINKS: Apple Magic Keyboard: https://www.apple.com/ipad-keyboards/ Get in touch on Twitter: @sarahmfain & @elizabethcraft Get in touch on Instagram: @Sfain & @LizCraft Visit our website: https://happierinhollywood.com Join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/HappierinHollywood/ Happier in Hollywood is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Do The Thing, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There was only one real option for a guest to kick off 2023. Gretchen Rubin is an author, podcaster, speaker, and an investigator of unexpected truths. Do you have a hard time sticking to your resolutions? Gretchen lays out concrete and informative ideas to think about the next time you need to hold yourself—or your kids—accountable. Plus, we find out if Dave and Jon are Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or Rebels. (No, those aren't new houses in Hogwarts.) Thanks to our sponsors! Methodical Coffee - Visit methodicalcoffee.com for more information and use the discount code dadville for 10 percent off your first order.

Today's episode is all about self-accountability. Self-accountability is something that a lot of us have really quirky mindsets about. More and more people have come to me in coaching and told me that they, themselves, are obligers. As a researcher, I have noticed that obliger is almost always a code word for a fixed mindset about the skill of self-accountability. In this episode, we'll dive deeper into your belief about self-accountability, what it means to be an obliger, and how to move towards a growth mindset for the chance to truly develop self-accountability. PS: In the Change Academy workshop this month, I'll be talking exactly about how I started to view myself, not as an obliger, but as someone who could learn how to hold myself accountable and the process of how we learn to hold ourselves accountable.

The New Year is approaching and this is a time when many of us think about making and breaking new habits. So today we're bringing on one of the smartest people when it comes to habits, best-selling author and speaker Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen's contention is that before you embark on a self-improvement project, it's crucial to have some self-awareness about what kind of person you are. She has devised a framework called the Four Tendencies, which helps you identify your personality type in order to gain powerful insights into how you make or break habits. Rubin is a lawyer by training and began her career clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Gretchen then went on to write a series of books that examine small and doable ways to boost our happiness in everyday life. These include: The Happiness Project, which spent two years on the bestseller list and sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide, and Better Than Before. We initially conducted the interview you're about to hear back in 2017, when Gretchen released a book called The Four Tendencies. In this episode we talk about:How and why Gretchen developed the Four Tendencies frameworkHow Gretchen's framework can give each of us a recipe for successful habit changeBreaking down the Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, or RebelsHow these Four Tendencies are an overlapping Venn diagram What “obliger rebellion” is and how to spot it in your relationshipsThe value of forming an accountability groupAnd why Gretchen sometimes calls herself a happiness bully Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-99-rerunSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Casharkaan waa qaybtii shaqsiyadda psychology Afsoomali. Obliger iskalife yaasha. Dabeecadaha dadka la yiraahda iskalife yaasha

This week on the podcast, I'm sharing a very special SNEAK PREVIEW (part 2) of this month's mindset class: MOTIVATION MAGIC. In this class, you'll learn:⁠ ❓ Are you an Obliger, Questioner, Upholder, or Rebel? ⁠ Knowing the answer can MAGICALLY TRANSFORM your weight loss journey!

In honor of our upcoming IO2022 innovation Accelerated Summit, which is happening September 19th and 20th in Lincoln Nebraska. Thought it'd be nice to pull some of the best interviews and sessions from our IO2020 virtual event. So, over the next few weeks, check out some of our amazing speakers and grab a ticket for the upcoming event. We'd love to see you there. Tickets and more information can be found at io2022.com. And now back to the show. Inside Outside Innovation is a podcast to help new innovators navigate what's next. Each week, we'll give you a front row seat into what it takes to learn, grow, and thrive in today's world of accelerating change and uncertainty. Join us as we explore, engage, and experiment with the best and the brightest innovators, entrepreneurs, and pioneering businesses. It's time to get started.Interview Transcript with Steph Smith, Trends.co / The Hustle / HubspotBrian Ardinger: We are excited to have Steph Smith here with the Hustle and Trends to talk about one of these amazing new trends that we're seeing. It's the whole move to remote work. Steph is the Head of Trends and Product Manager at the Hustle, which is a great newsletter, if you don't subscribe to that. Trends is their exclusive group. And I I've got to say it's, it's one of the best groups out there to talk about new things that are happening out there, new business leaders, things along those lines. She's got a new book out called Standing Out in 2020. Doing Content Right. And I know she's been doing a series of sessions on that. It's an eBook. You can check it out at stephsmith.io. She's been blogging for a ton of time. And she's also been in this world of remote work. Been a digital nomad for a while. So, with that, I'm going to just turn over to Steph. And we'll talk the trend of remote working. Steph Smith: Sweet. Thanks so much. That was a great intro, Brian. Today, I'm going to be talking about something that I care a lot about. I saw some other people in the chat mention that they've been working remotely for a long time. Two, I'm going to be talking about thinking past the office and designing what I call resilient, remote teams. And I do this in a little bit of a different way than I think most presentations on this topic are, which give you a lot of super, super concrete, like you must do this. I like to think of this more so as how do we think about what has changed? What does that mean? And what can we learn from this? So, I use three books and I'll get into that in a second to actually convey some of these points. But just quickly, I don't want to talk about myself very much. Brian gave me a great intro. All you need to know is that I have been working remotely for the last four or five years now. And I did that originally at a company called Top Tell, which was one of those kind of remote first companies built from the ground up to be remote. Now I work at a company called The Hustle and I've done some remote training for different companies. And in general, have been nomadding around for the last couple years as I work remotely. So that's enough about me. Let's talk about where we are in this world. As I mentioned before COVID there was a series of companies I'd say only a couple dozen of scale that were built up to be remote. From the ground up, they said, you know what, we're never going to have any offices. Or if we do, we're going to be remote first. Companies like Zapier Basecamp, Web Flow. All these companies were built from the ground up to facilitate positive remote working environment. Now, as we all know, you saw this kind of trend, the slow trickle of people that were searching for remote work overtime. This is Google trends from 2004 to present. Then as we all know, 2020. crazy year. We see this big spike and we're all remote, whether we want to be or not. And this includes huge companies like Google, Cora, Coinbase. Shopify that at least are either going to be remote for several, several years or in some cases like Shopify have just claimed that they are now remote first from here forward. The question then becomes with all of these companies with now millions, if not billions of people that are kind of thrown into this new environment, what happens. What happens to these organizations that weren't built from the ground up? Like Zapier, Base Camp, or Buffer. Some of the questions that I have here, allude to what I'll be talking about in this presentation. So how does remote work or the shift influence how people interact with one another? How does it influence the social fabric or culture of the company? How does this change how potentially leaders should or can operate at these organizations?And in general, this all brings me back to the title of this presentation. How do we build resilient teams? And resiliency in this case means teams that thrive in the environment that they're put in, right. It doesn't feel like they're kind of pushing against walls. It doesn't feel like there's friction to achieve certain things.It feels like they're put in an environment where they're put in a place to succeed by nature, by the nature of the environment that they're in. So, as I said, this presentation is really based on three books that I've read and, and I think are excellent. It's Give and Take, Algorithms to Live By and The Four Tendencies.And I like using books like this to really frame these conversations because these books are actually not based on remote work at all. They're based on human psychology. They're based on how people interact in given situations or environments. And then I just layer on a question. Is this still true with remote work or how does this change as people go from an in-person environment to remote. And so, we'll talk specifically about how giving and taking behavior may change with remote work. We'll talk about how we can design systems. So, using something From Algorithms to Live By, Game Theory. How do we incentivize people to actually act in their best interest? Because they don't always do that on their own. And how do we in general make remote work sustainable. And then I'll talk about the potential archetype of remote worker using this four tendencies framework. To preface the three books and the three things that we'll talk about, I want to jump back to summarize where we are.So, we as a society had a majority of people working in offices. And now we have a majority of people working remotely. And I like to kind of facetiously say that when you work in an office, you work in a box. And that box is predefined for you. And even though it's a little facetious in terms of the analogy, a lot of that is true in the sense that you have a lot of things, whether it's, you know, where you're physically working, how you're working exactly, when you're working. A lot of that is super predefined for you. And for some people that's actually better. Some people that's worse. I'm not trying to ascertain whether one is better or worse, but the idea is that before you had a lot of things mapped out for you, right? And now when you're working remotely, the way, the analogy that I like to give is that box is kind of like stripped clean.So, you get rid of the walls, you get rid of exactly when, how you work. And now a lot of people are left to figure out how to build their own box. And what I see a lot of people doing, whether it's individuals or companies is they basically do this Control C Control V where they basically say, you know, we had all these things, these processes, these systems, these frameworks that worked in our office. So, let's just take all those and let's paste them into our new environment. And that can work. But what I think we have a unique opportunity to do is in fact, rethink the box. So, build our new box from the ground up. So instead of just copying everything and saying, oh, this worked there. It should work here. Let's just rethink what are the things that we should operate by in this new environment? How do we rebuild our box? And something more important than that is instead of giving our employees a new box saying, hey, this is your box. Please take it. And again, abide by these rules or operations or logistics. Let's actually just give them the tools to build their own box. And this kind of summarizes part of what I'm, I'm getting to at least to preface three examples is, is a quote from Amir. Who's a CEO of Doist one of those kind of remote first and companies. And he says, basically, remote. Isn't just a different way to work. It's a different way to live. We have to acknowledge that we're kind of blurring these lines and people, you know, experience isolation, anxiety, depression. And in general, we need to figure out ways in systems to resolve this new, almost more complex issue where you have people, people's work and their lives just meshing into this continuous system.All right. So, what are the cornerstones of remote work? I mentioned this because this bleeds into some of the examples. So remote work overall, at least prior to COVID, when people weren't forced into it, really prioritized three things over three other things. Meaning output trumped input, which meant that didn't matter exactly how many hours you were working or exactly what you did to get to the impact that you're driving for a company.What mattered was the impact, the output. Similarly, remote work tended to favor autonomy over administration. Again, this idea that didn't matter exactly how you got from Point A to Point B. You had the autonomy to figure that out. And similarly, flexibility over rigidity. So, let's keep these cornerstones in mind throughout the presentation. And consider that even those cornerstones sound kind of resoundingly positive, all of us at face value are like, yes, I love being graded on my output. I love being graded or given the autonomy to figure out how I deliver that output. And I love being given flexibility. But let's just keep those in mind and consider that they're not always strictly positive. All right, so let's dive into the first example in the book, Give and Take. Obviously, these books are very in depth and I only covered one small sliver of them in this presentation. But the key takeaway from Give and Take is that Adam Grant, he's a professor at Wharton, amazing writer as well. He talks about three different types of individuals. So, Givers, Takers, and Matchers. All you need to know about them for the purpose of this presentation is that givers basically believe in this world as a positive sum game. Meaning they believe in mutually beneficial situations. They're willing to give without expecting anything in return. Takers are kind of the opposite of that. They think zero sum game. I'm sure you can imagine or conceptualize people in your life that you've encountered that really are trying to get ahead at the expense of other people.Now matchers fall somewhere in the middle. They basically believe, or kind of function off of this idea of reciprocity and fairness. All right. So with that in mind, the question or sorry, before I even get to the question, something I want to mention is that the whole premise of Adam Grant's book is a little surprising in that most people would expect that given Takers and Matchers and Takers in particular, their approach to life in terms of kind of utilizing other people to get ahead or prioritizing their own growth over other people, you would expect those people to be the most successful.Now, interestingly enough, he found that Givers were both at the very top of the spectrum of success, and the very bottom. You can notice two different types of Givers here. One is selfless. One is, is otherish. All you need to know here is that Otherish Givers are Givers but have found a way to prioritize their own needs.So really interesting that Givers not only elevate other people, but they are actually the most successful on their own. So, this is kind of a summary or a quote from Adams, which basically says they succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of others around them. You'll see that the difference lies in how Giver success creates value instead of just claiming it.So, in general, I think the obvious takeaway here is that we want more Givers at our organizations. Now the question becomes, and this will be a repetitive question throughout, is this the same with remote work. Or how does this change with remote work? Some of the sections here are based on actual data sources.This one, not so much. This is me more hypothesizing. And what I've come to in terms of my many years leading teams, interacting with teams, being individual contributors on teams is that because if we remember the cornerstones of remote work, we prioritize output. We prioritize impact. That which in remote, all that matters is that impact, right?Are you delivering value? Are you worth your salary? Are you hitting your KPIs. In person when you're in an office? All that stuff matters. But it's also weighed against certain unspoken things, unspoken rules, like the amount of time you're spending in the office. Whether you're on time for things, whether you stay late to help another employee in general, everyone knows who the team players are in an office.That's not always true when you work remotely. I think if you've worked remotely over the last couple months, especially if you were in an office before, you can probably resonate with this idea. In remote, there's a couple thing, other things that I want to know. This idea of staying on longer to, you know, as a Giver, let's say you're helping other people.That's super difficult to quantify because when you're working remotely again, our work life and our lifeline blend together. So, it's actually hard, if I were to ask anyone on this call, how many hours did you spend this week working remotely? I think a lot of people would struggle to actually quantify that.So then layering on, am I working extra? Am I not working enough? It's really hard to kind of parse that out. Additionally, if you support someone. Let's say I have a friend and her name is Sally at work. And she says, Hey Steph, can you help me with this project? And it actually takes like, you know, five hours out of my day.I end up helping her. All of that work for better or for worse is hidden online. Sally knows about it. But everyone else at work, didn't see me stay late to help Sally. They didn't see the output of that work. They didn't see the Giving behavior. And so, in addition to this, KPIs in general, when you work remotely by nature of trying to ascertain that output of people, tends to be more individual. You even hear people use terms like manager of one when they're working remotely.And in general, the idea that I'm trying to get across here is that by nature, when you're working remotely, because there are so much emphasis on output and impact, which has many positives, basically takes away the recognition that you typically get in an in-person environment of these Givers, and what happens is these Givers end up burning out, they become more of those selfless givers that you saw at the tail end. Instead of the Otherish givers that were the most successful individual. And something I want to call out here is that regardless of intentions, morals, or values, and what I'm saying here is it doesn't matter if someone's a good person or bad person. That's not what I'm trying to ascertain. Bad incentive structures result in bad behavior, no matter how good of a person you think you are. So, what's the takeaway here? Again, I'm trying to go through this quickly, so I won't go through everything. But the idea here is that you still won't have a water cooler. In the office, which almost acted like, you know, animals in the wild. There's like a certain hierarchy and there's a kingdom and, and it kind of regulates things, right. You just subtly, but it does. You don't have that anymore with remote, or at least it's not created without intentionality. And so, there are a couple quick things that you can do. The first thing is just ask your team very simply who helped you this week? Who did you work with? Where did you put in extra hours? Where did someone else put in extra hours for you? You must ask this because it will not be surfaced as naturally as in the office. The second thing is build KPIs to incentivize teamwork. This is a little harder to do because again, when you work remotely, you're trying to ascertain output. But think about how you can do this to incentivize teamwork. So, you're not kind of encouraging people to act more as Takers versus Givers. And then finally create an environment where you're not just recognizing good behavior or giving behavior, but you're actually rewarding it.So, some companies like GitLab have actually started things like micro bonuses, where in addition to the bonus structures or the compensation structures that you get from your boss, other people around you can actually reward you based on your giving behavior. Because that's really important. You're not just recognizing it in like kind of shout outs or things like that, but you're actually rewarding this behavior. So, you're incentivizing people to continue doing it. The final thing I want to call out is that you can do as much as you can once you have people at an organization to incentivize giving behavior. But you can also kind of integrate this into your hiring process. Which means bringing in people who are more naturally Givers.So, Adam Grant mentions in his book. This is directly from Give and Take where he, during the hiring process asks this question, can you give me the names of four people whose careers you have fundamentally improved? And the idea here is that people who are Givers tend to mention either people at the same level as them or below them in terms of the people that they've helped.And it's a natural response. Of course, this is again, not quite scientific versus Takers, tend to mention people that are above them. That they've helped, because again, there's this nature of people who are Takers, trying to get ahead and using things like status to get ahead. So, something to keep in mind as well as you're hiring.So, the second example that I want to go through is from Algorithms to Live By. Again, excellent book. This is a book where basically they take principles from software development or software engineering and use it to help us think through problems that are outside of that scope. So, things like Cashing Theory or Kneeling or making intractable problems tractable.The one that I want to talk about today is Game Theory. So, in Game Theory, I'm not going to go into depth, but it's this idea that within a game, there are certain rules. And within those rules, they incentivize people to act a certain way. And once a game is predefined, you tend to get to this equilibrium where all the players individually are acting their own best interest.But sometimes the kind of aggregate of those actions actually may result in outcomes that are worse for everyone. Again, depending on the rules that were set for that game. And this equilibrium that I'm specifically talking about is called the Nash Equilibrium. And it's this idea again, there's this kind of long definition and talks about a stable state.The idea here is the Nash Equilibrium is within an environment within a game. It's the outcome or the optimal state, where there's no incentive for any individual to deviate. Now, this may not sound super actionable. So let me give you a precise example of what I'm talking about. So, with remote work, a lot of remote first companies tend to go with unlimited vacation.And I think this is something that probably more companies will end up moving towards as well. But something you keep in mind here is the Nash Equilibrium of unlimited vacation approaches, zero days. And the reason for this it's a little counterintuitive because you think unlimited vacation sounds amazing. Sounds like a great perk. Well, what happens with unlimited vacation is that people look to be perceived as more loyal, more committed, more dedicated than their peers. And therefore, they look to take just slightly less vacation than their peers. And what happens is a cascading effect, which approaches zero.This is actual data from Buffer's Data Remote Report from 2019, where you can see in blue, the amount of vacation offered, and then in orange, the amount of vacation that was actually taken. So, you can see around 30, 35% of people had unlimited vacation. And if you look at how that's actually distributed, most of the people who had unlimited vacation took anywhere from no vacation to two weeks' vacation. Versus the people who had, you know, six weeks, five weeks, four weeks were likely to actually take that amount of vacation.So, what is my point here? Well, in Game Theory is this idea where basically you have a game and then those rules are set for the game. And then you just see what behaviors actually emerge from those given set of rules. Well, I think with remote work, we have to be a lot more intentional about not just kind of throwing rules out there, again, kind of redefining our box and, and not just taking a box that already exists. And you can do that through Mechanism Design, which is kind of flipping that script and saying, what are the behaviors that we actually want and what rules do we need to establish to actually generate those behaviors? So kind of again, reversing the question and figuring out what behaviors you want to incentivize. And then figuring out what rules need to be in place to actually achieve that.As I mentioned, the box has changed, the game has changed. So, here's a couple examples of things that people struggle with from the same report, when they're working remotely. It's things like unplugging, loneliness, distractions, culture, and communication. If you were to ask the same question to people who are working in an, in an office, these would not be the case, which shows us the game has changed. The problems have changed. The things that we're solving for have changed and therefore you must come up with rules or incentives so that people act in their own best interest. So again, you're thinking backwards. You're asking the question, what are the KPIs that you need to actively design to encourage people to, for example, have a work life balance outside of just the freedom to define their own. And this is really important because it sounds counterintuitive to say a I'm actually going to define more rules. Because flexibility sounds like a great perk or sounds like a great thing to have. But actually, you can help your employees in certain situations to actually help them again, this idea of building their own box.Something I want to call out here is again, is Wall Street, which is again, the most like capitalist type environment there is, has mandatory off hours. So that brokers don't push themselves to their Nash Equilibrium, which would be the sleepless equilibrium, where they're constantly trading. So, you have to think backwards and figure out how to design an environment that people succeed in.Quick couple examples before we move on to the third example. The third book are things like a minimum vacation policy, mandatory days that they must take off, allowing people to take back their calendars and actually block off significant parts so that they're not encountering what people call Calendar Tetris. I like this example from Keith, I don't know Keith personally, and this was pre COVID.But basically, he decided to close his office on Friday. Simple things like this, where he basically said it's a mandatory weekend. You are not allowed to work, even though it seems strange in a digital environment. And I'm giving you 50 bucks to go eat at your favorite restaurant. So, think about how you are intentionally designing systems for your employees.Finally, third example that I'll breeze through is the Four Tendencies. And I'll caveat this example with this quote directly from Gretchen Rubin, the author that says the happiest, healthiest, most productive people aren't those from a particular tendency, but rather the people who have figured out how to harness the strengths of their tendency, counteract the weaknesses, and build lives that work for them.So, what is the Four Tendencies? It's this idea that there as it sounds like four tendencies. Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, and Rebel. Now these two highlighted in green are not highlighted, because they're the best. As Gretchen said in that quote, it's just that they're they are the most common. Now the Four Tendencies is basically a two-by-two framework, which identifies how people respond to expectations or accountability.So, do they readily meet outer expectations? Do they readily meet inner expectations? Do they resist both of them or do they kind of fluctuate towards or air towards one or the other? So, I personally am a Questioner. I resist outer expectations and I meet inner expectations. To give a quick example, if I wanted to get fit, having a gym buddy as an outer expectation expecting me to show up that actually wouldn't help me. And that actually is something that I've tried to do throughout my life. Hasn't worked. Meanwhile, something like actually understanding the science behind why I should be fit or kind of convincing myself that my identity, or I want to be the type of person who, you know, respects their health. That works for me. So as a Questioner, I meet inner expectations. I resist outer expectations.Now I did a poll on Twitter a while ago, got around 400 votes from people who had been working remotely again, pre COVID. And it was interesting to see that the most popular tendencies among this again, non-scientific poll were Questioners and Rebels, and I thought, huh, that's interesting.If you remember questioners and obligers for the most common in the overall population with remote workers, or at least those who sought out remote work. Where questioners and rebels with the, the familiarity or the common thread here is that they both resist outer expectations. I thought that was really interesting.And I think that relates to this idea that there's a level of self-selection or misalignment with outer expectations of society, of people trying to at least identify their own work norms, identify their own vision or how they can actually build something, build their own box. And this isn't again, mean that they're more successful or less successful.It's just perhaps that they actively sought out this type of environment. Now, what's the takeaway here. This is a brief section compared to the other two, but it's the idea that people actually respond differently to inner and outer accountability. We used to have everyone in an office and that didn't necessarily work with everyone.Now we have everyone remote that doesn't necessarily work for everyone. So, I think the idea here is that leaders need to actually learn past, just the high level this person is good at these skills. This person is good at these skills. This is my top player. This is my, you know, less valuable player. And more so think about how to tailor their leadership stylers to figure out how to motivate their employees. Whether they're in a remote environment or not. But especially if you're in a remote environment, how do you incentivize, if we just quickly go back, how do you incentivize Upholders and Obligers when Questioners and Rebels tend to naturally seek out this environment?And on the flip side, if you're in an office, how do you naturally incentivize Questioners and Rebels so that they're motivated when Upholders and Obligers may more naturally fit into those traditional environments. So just something to consider. Right. This is the final slide I have, and I know we're running out of times, but the idea here is just, again, there are certain things or certain ways that humans tend to interact in, in an person environment.And they don't necessarily act the same ways in a remote environment. And in particular, they may not even act in ways that benefit themselves all the time. So, we must as leaders, if you're leading a team, if you're leading a company, It's good to consider some of these things and figure out A: How do I encourage Giving through discovering, hiring, promoting, and acknowledging and rewarding as I said before Givers. How do I select incentives or develop the right systems so that we're using Mechanism Design and not just throwing people into a game and hoping that they choose the best outcomes that are best for them or best for everyone?And then finally, how do we actually learn about our people past the face value in terms of their skills and figure out how to harness their unique strengths, whether they're in an in-person environment or a remote environment. If you want to find me, or if you have questions, happy to answer them now, but you're also welcome to email me or DM me on Twitter and that is it.Brian Ardinger: That's it for another episode of Inside Outside Innovation. If you want to learn more about our team, our content, our services, check out InsideOutside.io or follow us on Twitter @theIOpodcast or @Ardinger. Until next time, go out and innovate.FREE INNOVATION NEWSLETTER & TOOLSGet the latest episodes of the Inside Outside Innovation podcast, in addition to thought leadership in the form of blogs, innovation resources, videos, and invitations to exclusive events. SUBSCRIBE HEREYou can also search every Inside Outside Innovation Podcast by Topic and Company.  For more innovations resources, check out IO's Innovation Article Database, Innovation Tools Database, Innovation Book Database, and Innovation Video Database.  Also don't miss IO2022 - Innovation Accelerated in Sept, 2022.

In this episode we are going to take you behind the scenes of both of our coaching businesses.Trish and Carol both offer accountability coaching.  Benefits range from focusing on current goals, making progress with intentions and starting fresh habits to move forward and get "unstuck".Favourite coaching tools include Google docs, Trello for project management, Paperbell for coaching and client management and time blocking on your calendar.Gretchen Rubin has a framework called Four Tendencies which are:Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations.Questioners question both inner and outer expectations.Obligers resist inner but meet outer expectations.Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations.They usually say a lot about how clients will respond to accountability coaching.Obligers generally to get the most out of accountability coaching, as they thrive on outer expectations exclusively.Upholders often take on too much, and they often find that an accountability coach can help them prioritize.Questioners can get a lot out of accountability coaching, but only if the coach's approach makes sense to them.Rebels don't care about any kind of accountability, so they generally respond best to “sounding board” type coaching.Curious? You can  take and interpret the Four Tendencies QuizMeet your hosts:I'm Carol, an accountability coach helping women entrepreneurs around the globe reach goals in their business.  I offer consulting packages tailored to find your way through the overwhelm. Visit carolclegg.comI am Trish….I'm Trish and I'm a professional life coach with a focus on your best life balance: how good habits like time-blocking to your core values, setting firm boundaries, and learning to say NO can free you up and get you moving on to your next big plan! You can find out more at healthylifemindset.comConnect with Carol on socialLinkedInInstagramClubhouseConnect with Trish on socialLinkedInInstagramFacebookI am your host Carol Clegg. In my role as a coach, I partner with women solopreneurs in midlife to conquer procrastination, attain balance in their business endeavors, and nurture a positive mindset. By blending personalized accountability and mindset coaching with the powerful Positive Intelligence program, you'll gain the confidence to harness tools that elevate your overall happiness. Feel free to reach out with any inquiries you may have. I'm here to support you on your journey. Let's chat! BOOK your ✅ 30 minute complimentary discovery call carolclegg.com or book your call here https://bit.ly/discoverycallwithcarol Connect on LinkedIn and Instagram Thanks for listening!

As a busy mom of three, Danielle knows the importance of finding time to herself. In this episode of the Grounded in Simplicity podcast, she discussed with Bonnie about the book The Four Tendencies. From the conversation, there are four personality types: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel. Each personality type has its own strengths and weaknesses. For example, Upholders are great at following rules and meeting deadlines, but they may have a hard time relaxing or taking breaks. Questioners are good at challenging the status quo and thinking critically, but they may have a hard time making decisions. Obligers are good at meeting other people's expectations, but they may have a hard time meeting their own. Rebels are good at thinking outside the box and taking risks, but they may have a hard time following rules or routines. Which personality type are you? Listen to the whole podcast episode to better understand which personality matches you.Support the show

Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts June 2, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 73 / Guest: Fran Hauser Show Summary: As two Obligers and Enneagram Nines, we are so happy to know Fran Hauser. In this episode we talk through why it's good to be nice at work, but also how to... The post Embrace The Work, Love Your Career with guest Fran Hauser appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

As we do each year, we make a plan to design our summer, and we do a deep dive into listeners' ideas for family traditions. A listener suggests an accountability hack for Obligers (or anyone who wants a little accountability). We also reveal our next choice for the Happier Podcast Book Club.  Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin & @LizCraft Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Get the resources and all links related to this episode here: http://happiercast.com/378 Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors Want to be happier in 2022? Order Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project to see how she approached the question, “How can I be happier?” and start a Happiness Project of your own. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,' a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's no one-size-fits-all solution for becoming happier and more productive!  This week on YAP, we're chatting with Gretchen Rubin! Gretchen is a 5X Best Selling Author, Speaker, “Self-Help Queen”, and Happiness Expert. She is known as an influential and thought-provoking observer of happiness and human nature.  In today's episode, we've compiled the most actionable of Gretchen's knowledge in one place. We'll yap about how to make your goals for the new year fun and attainable by choosing a theme like UPGRADE or a phrase like Walk 20 in 2020 that makes taking action easy! We learn how to personalize goal setting by covering the famous 4-tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel and how these personalities should best approach their desired outcomes. Lastly, Gretchen teaches us how to form new and helpful habits. She shares her delightful challenge this year of Rest for 22 minutes each day in 2022 and explains how habits and goals don't have to be extravigaint, but can be boring!  It's never too late to start a new year's resolution! Make sure to listen and learn how to do it right in this week's episode!  Sponsored by -  Prose - Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/YAP. Shopify - Go to shopify.com/profiting, for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features. BrandCrowd - Check out brandcrowd.com/yap to learn more, play with the tool for free, and get 73% off your purchase.   Jordan Harbinger - Check out jordanharbinger.com/start for some episode recommendations. Athletic Greens - Visit athleticgreens.com/YAP and get FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Blinkist - Go to Blinkist.copm/YAP to start your free 7 day trial and get 25% off of a Blinkist Premium membership. Social Media:  Follow YAP on IG: www.instagram.com/youngandprofiting Reach out to Hala directly at Hala@YoungandProfiting.com Follow Hala on Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/htaha/ Follow Hala on Instagram: www.instagram.com/yapwithhala Follow Hala on Clubhouse: @halataha Check out our website to meet the team, view show notes and transcripts: www.youngandprofiting.com Timestamps: (0:00) - Hala welcomes Gretchen to the show  (1:27) - The Concept of Drifting in Life (3:20) - Gretchen's Career Pivot From Law To Research & Writing (5:30) - Importance of Loving to Talk About Your Job (6:30) - Drifting In The Age of Covid (9:12) - New Year's Resolutions/ Temporal Landmarks (12:22) - Correlation Between Goals and Happiness (14:14) - Setting a One Word Theme For Our Year (17:20) - Gretchen's Concept of 22 in 22 (18:29) - Gretchen Describes Her Tasting Parties (20:20) - Should We Place Boundaries When Setting Goals (23:15) - Sticking To Your Goals/ Four Personality Types (24:24) - Upholders (24:43) - Questioners (25:16) - Obligers (26:00) - Rebels (27:00) - Gretchen's Four Tendencies Test (30:00) - How Does Each Personality Type Stick To Their Goals (30:10) - How Rebels Stick to Goals (33:20) - How Obligers Stick To Goals (35:45) - Can We Grow Into a Different Personality Type?  (39:10) - Why Obligers Are Not People Pleasers  (40:10) - How Questioners Stick to Goals (42:42) - What is the Arrival Fallacy? (45:45) - Gretchen's Approach to Breaking Bad Habits (49:20) - What is Gretchen's 22 Minutes of Rest for 2022 Challenge? (51:55) - Getting More Sleep to Be Happier (56:08) - What is the one actionable thing that our listeners can do today to be more profiting tomorrow? (59:45) - Gretchen's Secret To Profiting In Life Mentioned In The Episode: Better Than Before (Gretchen's book): https://gretchenrubin.com/books/better-than-before/about-the-book/  The Four Tendencies (Gretchen's book): https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/intro/  Take The Quiz: Gretchenrubin.com/take-the-quiz Happiness with Gretchen Rubin: https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/

On today's show, I talk about my word (phrase) of the year and what I'm hoping to do in 2022. Then, I talk about the importance of habit formation and give several strategies to build better habits.   As I begin to work on developing better habits this year, I want to point out that if you try to introduce too much change into your daily life, you're setting yourself up for failure. Humans are not great at reorganizing their entire day all at once. We have to start small (so don't make 10 New Year's resolutions and expect success).   You know those people who talk about willpower? Well, willpower is a crock. Willpower does not often get you to where you want to go. It's habit formation that gets you to your goals, and willpower only causes most of us to feel like failures.   Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project” and co-host of the Happier podcast, developed a concept and wrote a book about it a few years ago called “The Four Tendencies.” This framework is based on how a person meets inner and outer expectations. The four types are Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels. (Take the free quiz to learn what type you are.)   I'm a questioner, which means I have questions and need justifications before I'll commit to doing something. It also means outer accountability doesn't matter to me. It's why I don't care about joining a mastermind group or having an accountability partner. And I won't stick with a class just because I paid for.   But that type of accountability works well for obligers, who need accountability to meet inner and outer expectations. These are the people who, when they pay for that yoga class or tell a friend they'll exercise with them, it works. They do not want to let anyone down so they will show up. You can see how knowing your tendency will help figure out what you need as you start to create habits and try to commit to better habits or new goals.   In his book “Atomic Habits,” James Clear talks about making tiny, tiny habits, just a 1% change each day. So, want to start running? On that first day, just run around the block and come home. Don't push yourself. Don't go farther. It'll take 2 minutes.   That may sound ridiculous, but you need to focus on the process, routine and the change in your routine. Don't focus on the running; focus on the habit creation.   Starting is the hardest part. Katy Milkman is an economist who studies change behavior at the Wharton School. She was on Dan Harris' podcast Ten Percent Happier about how to change your habits. Katy talks about this problem of getting started. It's not about willpower. It's about the struggle to get started. And that requires habit formation.   Katy also talks about something called the “fresh start” effect—that time when we start a new job, or move to a new city, or when the school year starts in September when it feels like a fresh start. That's the perfect time to implement new habits.   January and the new year also feels like a “fresh start” to people and can be a perfect time to start new habits. We just have to be careful not to try to start too many at one time.   Gretchen Rubin would say before you start thinking about techniques to use to develop new habits you need to know yourself. That's why I recommend taking her Four Tendencies quiz. But, in addition, think about the kind of person you are. Are you a night owl? Then, you're never going to get up at 5 a.m. to exercise! Accept it and aim for a better habit that works for you.   A few habit formation strategies to try:   Pairing Pair the new habit with something you're already doing, preferably something you like. For me, that is walking while listening to podcasts—what I like to call Bod and Pod.   Accountability As I mentioned earlier, it doesn't work for everyone, but if works for you, try to build more accountability into your daily life. Maybe find an accountability partner who is also a freelance business owner.   Scheduling it Sounds obvious, but sometimes we just forget to work on our new habits, so put it on your calendar and to-do list and set timers.   Commit to a streak Start a 30-day challenge where you're going to do the new habit every day for 30 days.   Make it difficult or inconvenient Delete apps. Use the Freedom app to block social media websites.   Hide bad cues and display good cues. Put your phone in another room. Hide junk food. Keep your vitamin bottle visible. Put your water bottle near the front door.   Think about your future self. Future Melanie will be happy this summer if I already have a regular exercise routine established.   Biz Bite: Embrace hygge   The Bookshelf: “How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America” by Clint Smith   Resources: Join the Deliberate Freelancer Facebook group.   Support Deliberate Freelancer at Buy Me a Coffee.   Subscribe to the Deliberate Freelancer newsletter.   “Respair” tweet by Susie Dent   Book “The Four Tendencies” by Gretchen Rubin   Take The Four Tendencies quiz   Book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear   Katy Milkman and her book “How to Change” and podcast “Choiceology”   Katy Milkman on Ten Percent Happier podcast: How to Change Your Habits   Yoga with Adriene   National Novel Writing Month   “A 180 in 365: My Year of Walking” by Alicia Chantal (blog post)   Episode #78 of Deliberate Freelancer: Building Your Community as a Newish Freelancer, with Alicia Chantal  

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the #1 New York Times and international bestseller, The Happiness Project. Her books have sold over 3.5 million copies and have been published in more than thirty languages. Her "Four Tendencies" personality framework on sustaining happiness divides people into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. More than 500,000 people have taken the quiz to figure out which tendency they hold, and you can to here. Millions of people read her blog each year, where she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness and habits. As you can probably tell, Gretchen is the real deal and we could go on and on. The last note is that listening to her podcast Happier with "Gretchen Rubin" has been referred to as "one of the 10 life-changing things to do" by BuzzFeed.Gretchen dives into her Four Tendencies framework, going over how you can self-assess and determine which one you fall under. This is determined by how you react to internal and external expectations and frames routine in a way that we've never experienced before. Why is this so important? It directly relates to your happiness. How often are you trying to mimic others' routines and processes for finding happiness and success? As you listen to this episode, debrief. Be honest with yourself and be confident. Do you hold yourself accountable? Or do you find motivation in knowing that an external party is counting on you? Consider this and the much deeper dive within the episode, and let's find a little more happiness moving into 2022. Gretchen Rubin and your host, George Leith leave you with some insights into your own happiness and some very realistic measures you can take to make your personal happiness not only more attainable but sustainable.Conquer Local is presented by Vendasta. We have proudly served 5+ million local businesses through 50,000+ channel partners. Learn more about Vendasta and we can help you build your dream agency or learn more about Vendasta's Affiliate Program and how our listeners (like yourself) are making up to $10,000 off referrals.Are you an entrepreneur, salesperson, or marketer? Keep the learning going in the Conquer Local Academy.

Have you ever considered that risk-taking is a muscle that needs to be regularly exercised? In this conversation with a productivity nerd, coach in Seth Godin's Akimbo community, and an entrepreneur at GoGoDone, Heather Chavin we talk about creating conditions to ship your work. We talk about how so many of us are obligers responding to the external rather than internal stimuli and why we need a powerful community to overcome that. We agree that it is important to mourn projects we say ‘no' to but still, it is the only way to do what matters as trying harder doesn't quite work. We also discuss the importance of listening to our bodies and our brains as they are pretty clear about what is good for us at a given moment.LINKSGoGoDone websiteGoGoPublish website“Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success” by Benjamin Hardy“Permission marketing” by Seth Godin“The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)” by Gretchen Rubin“Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life” by Gretchen Rubin“The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin“Steal like an artist” by Austin Kleon“Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” by  Greg McKeown

In this episode, Sarah opens with a discussion of planning tips for Obligers, inspired by a listener comment. Then she moves to a discussion about planning retreats -- how to devote an entire day (or more!) to planning, whether it is for work, personal, or with one's partner. She shares her experiences recently helping her husband plan as well (hopefully he will be a guest soon!). Finally, she answers a listener planner matchmaking request - two pages per day PLUS a weekly layout? Not an easy find!

Have you ever thought or said, "Your lack of planning is not my emergency" or are you some who has thought or said, "I don't want to, but I will, anyway." In this episode, we introduce to you all the Four Tendencies based on the book written by Gretchen Rubin. The four tendencies that are based on our nature are Upholder, Obliger, Rebel, and Questioner.In part one of this two-part topic, we discuss expectations and how two out of the four tendencies deal with outer and inner expectations. And how to understand the Upholders and Obligers in our lives and how to communicate with these two tendencies. If you would like to find out which tendency you tend to lean to when dealing with expectations, you can click on the link below to take the test. https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies-quiz/ Thank you for listening. Please subscribe, share, comment, turn on the notification bell, and leave a review. And remember "When you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life"Connect with us!Email: Knowyourpassionpodcast@gmail.com Website:https://knowyourpassionpodcast.buzzsprout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keychalogic/, @know_your_passion_podcast

In episode 28 of the Done with Dieting Podcast, I'm talking all about accountability; specifically, the difference between internal and external accountability - What Gretchen Rubin differentiates Upholders from Obligers in her book, The Four Tendencies. As women, we're socialized to put other people's wants and needs before our own. So of course it makes sense that most of us can keep commitments to others, but not ourselves. But this quality is changeable. I know because *I* used to not be able to keep commitments to myself. But now I can. And if we ever want to be able to ‘get consistent', or ‘be disciplined', putting ourselves and our needs on the list of priorities, is a MUST. To learn more about the Feel Good Sisterhood, go to https://elizabethsherman.com/groupcoaching Get full show notes and more information here: https://elizabethsherman.com/podcast/28

“You can really understand your tendency... and then use it to get what you want!”- ShinahDo you have trouble “sticking” to an art, craft, or other creative thing?Have you gone through countless different creative outlets without ever really developing a real practice?Do you have what I like to call a “guilty craft closet” in your home?Then this is the episode for you!Before finding calligraphy, I tried a TON of creative things... woodworking, watercolors, you name it. And none of them lasted for more than a month or two.The influential self-help writer Gretchen Rubin has actually done a lot of work figuring out WHY people have so much trouble establishing solid habits and how to address their issues — and it all comes down to personality types. Her 4 Tendencies framework divides people up into four categories: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels.Since I figured out my own personality type, I've been able to strengthen my habits... and work WITH my personality instead of against it.Are you ready to hack your habit-making and create some more consistency in your life?Tune into this episode of The Shinah Show to find out:The four different personality types according to writer Gretchen Rubin — and how they relate to your ability to stick with a creative practiceWhy embracing your tendency is super helpful in terms of creating habitsHow I pushed through my fear and resistance and became a calligraphy teacherHighlights:‌ ‌00:36  Trouble “sticking” with a creative practice?01:14  The 4 tendencies  06:03  Embracing your tendency  07:25  Setting habits as an Obliger09:15  My calligraphy-teaching story10:47  Every tendency is valid!11:16  Try my free workshop!Links:‌ ‌The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (And Other People's Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubinhttps://gretchenrubin.com/the-four-tendencies The ‘Find Your Calligraphy Style' Challenge!https://crookedcalligraphy.lpages.co/style ‌Learn calligraphy with me: www.freecalligraphyworkshop.comFollow me!Instagram: @crookedcalligraphyfacebook.com/crookedcalligraphy Show notes can be found at theshinahshow.comWatch these episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVJJZS9jYDmzePAnaGDiFuw Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel, and ring the bell for notifications so you never miss an episode!

This week, Lisa and Aimee wonder why they have so much trouble forming good habits—and sticking to them—even when they know doing so will make them happier.  They are joined by Gretchen Rubin, host of the podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin” and author of the New York Times-bestselling book The Happiness Project. Gretchen explains her Four Tendencies framework—which posits that each of us fall into one of the following four categories: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels—and how understanding your personality profile can help you better incentivize wanted behaviors and habits for yourself.   Like the show? Send us a note at anxiously@tabletmag.com. Follow us on Instagram @anxiouslypod and on Twitter @anxiouslypod.    Our theme music is by Low Cut Connie.   Check out all of Tablet's podcasts at tabletmag.com/podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on The Bellas Podcast, the twins take the Four Tendencies quiz, created by happiness expert Gretchen Rubin! First, Nikki and Brie open up about their biggest fears and what they're most excited for about childbirth. Then, the Bella Twins welcome Gretchen to dig into the meaning behind their quiz results, and to share tips on how to be happier and handle a career change. Plus, the Bellas respond to a listener voicemail about going vegan in Dear Bellas. Show us some love by leaving a 5-star rating and a review with your favorite part of the podcast. Tweet your questions with the #BellasPodcast hashtag for Brie and Nikki to answer on future episodes.

How John and Rosemary paid off $66,000 in 32 months while still eating healthy and not sacrificing nutrition to do it. Rosemary and John, cofounders of Flourish Fundamentals are both Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioners. They are helping the FIRE community optimize their health as much as they optimize their finances. You can learn more about them on their website: flourishfundamentals.com and sign up for their 30 day reset program here: https://www.flourishfundamentals.com/flourish-fundamentals-30-day-reset-calling-beta-testers/ Resources mentioned in this episode: The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin (https://amzn.to/2ts9QDf)(affiliate link) Free Meal Planning Sheet (www.budgetsmadeeasy.com/mealplan) Full Transript: Hey, today we are talking to Rosemary and John about how they paid off their debt and how they are optimizing health and nutrition for the fire community. So welcome Rosemary and John, thank you for having us. Thank you, Ashley. Thanks for being here. And just to, before we jump in, can you guys kind of tell me about yourselves and kind of what you guys do? Yeah, absolutely. So, uh, I guess that you could call us the token, uh, nutrition people in the [inaudible] space. Um, we both sort of got into this financial independence step free community after we were getting out of debt and we had this background in nutrition and saw that a lot of the recommendations around reducing expenses involved like just eat rice and beans. And that was a little bit, yeah, no, no. So, um, we realized that there was really a need for people to talk about the importance of your own health and be able to teach people to empower them to be able to take care of their own health so that, um, they come, you know, they're more in a position of power when it comes to their own health and not just fingers crossed. Hope you don't get sick. Yeah, yeah. Just not eating ramen noodles and all right. They definitely, there's a sweet spot where we wish we can talk about more later, where you can keep costs down pretty low without sacrificing health. So for example, before we started getting out of debt, when we examined our grocery budget, we were like anywhere from $1,000 a month to 1500 for two bucks. And then we cut that in half. And then we were able to do that and we thought, you know what, let's try to cut it in half again just to see if we can do it. And we did. Um, and I'd say now we sort of settled between 400 to $500, but it's still may sound like a lot to some people listening, but we can get into more about what that actually means. Yeah, that's really not bad. I mean, for most people that I talk to, and it's true for myself, um, you know, with that was our biggest category was, um, of course it wasn't as healthy as you guys were at, you know, as fast food, convenience foods, things like that. But, and so that is definitely an area where people can improve, um, with managing their money as well as their health. So I'm so glad that, um, you guys are doing that and, you know, giving people other options besides just rice and beans. Yes. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be, you know, crazy expensive. We're not talking whole foods every week. There's other strategies to do it, like buying a whole cow or that sort of thing. So anyway, we'll get there, we'll get pasta, there'll be delicious and that's, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I would not compromise if this was not delicious food. So before we jump into eating healthy and cutting costs on food, why don't we jump into like your debt pay off story? How much did you guys pay off and [inaudible] how fast did you do it? So we started with 66 in debt, um, a mix of credit cards and some family loans. By the way, there was a little bit for me, mass majority, I made much more or much less intelligent choices. Yeah. But we got that paid off in 32 months was that was the total and most of the time we were on just one salary. Right. Wow, that's pretty amazing. So were you guys, um, just tell me how this started. Were you guys on the same page or was it one of your guys's idea and then kinda had to drag the other one in? Yeah, I mean, I think we were, we, the way I was raised with sort of the Dave Ramsey, you know, never like credit cards were a bad word in our family. So I never got into debt and never had a credit card. And John had come from sort of a different position. I was raised to believe that credit cards are an emergency fund and so sure enough I used them as such. Yeah. Yeah. I believe your dad had once said that he was doing Dave Ramsey before Dave Ramsey was doing. Dave Ramsey describes that. Yeah. So my family's always been really frugal. But Dave Ramsey actually sort of part of our story, right? Yeah. That's sort of how it started is um, well we went to go see a financial planner actually before we got married. We knew we were going to get married and so we wanted to discuss just sort of like what should we be doing now financially. And that was I think where we had the first conversation about how much debt was on the table. Couples normally have that conversation like when they're alone. And in the first time that number was named was like the three of us in a room. And I was like, Oh wow, okay. Yeah. Cause I think you have like 40,000 at that point or something like that. Right before we got married. So anyway, but I, but I knew like, that's okay, we can, we can figure this out, we know what to do, we just won't spend any excess money, obviously we'll get this paid off first thing. And like, I knew we, we knew we wanted to get married. So at that point it was like package deal, husband plus debt hashtag that fluff. But yeah, soon after we got married, I picked up Dave Ramsey's book, total money makeover. I don't even remember where I found it. If it was like a little free library or the literal literal literal library, that's hard to say. Um, but I just sort of read through it and then I think John picked it up. I hadn't been on the coffee table one day and yeah, I had just been flipping through it, so I left it out. Yeah. And John was flipping through it and, uh, you know, started reading it in earnest and I remember we were both linked together in bed one evening and you sort of shut the book and you looked at me and said, okay, I'm ready, let's do this. And I was like, really? Wow. I didn't even have to, yeah, that's awesome. You guys were like together on the same page pretty much from the get go, so that I'm sure that makes it so much easier and faster to get it done. Definitely. Well, I think you'd always all always wanted to pay off debt. I tried many times, but it never stuck, um, for number of reasons which we can get into. But um, but yeah, the sort of, the way he had laid it out in the book, it was just very, very compelling to me. And once that light bulb went off, I was all in. And that's how I tend to be about things. If, if something is compelling and makes sense to me, I will, Oh, you know, I can turn on a dime on things. [inaudible] that sounds like me where I did two things. Yes. Yeah, that makes sense. If they make sense. Yeah. John's very persuaded by logic. If you're familiar with Gretchen Rubin, she has this framework of like four tendencies for different types of people. And John is the question or type, which means he'll do something if it makes sense to him, but not if it doesn't. So for him reading that logic of like, here's how the flow works, here's why it works and here's the steps. For him it was like, Oh, that's enough. I'm convinced. Okay, let's do it. So we sort of dove in and started making a plan, examining our expenses, expenses, looking at what are the things that we really need, what are the things that are actually just wants, right. And that goalpost changes. I think as you know, as you get more into this, what is, what was once considered a need. A lot of those things that moved over into the want column and that that one column keeps getting bigger or things that were in the need column that need copy gets smaller and smaller. So I think that's one of the main thing is it changed. And I mean really it was, it really was shocking to us, at least to me. Um, just how much a difference, making a budget changed our spending. Be more intentional about spending. I mean, at the time we were both full time making over a hundred K a year combined and there was nothing left at the end of the month. There was always more month than money left. Um, and we weren't spending like crazy either. I mean, yeah, we only had one car. It was 2006. Right. But it was just, you know, no mortgage, Nope, no kids. But it was just all the little stuff. Oh, I want this book. We'll go on Amazon and get it. Yeah, go get a manicure, whatever. Lots of fiddly little stuff that you, ah, where did all the money go? So what were some of the, some of the things that you, um, cut back on or changed in order to manage your money better and get the debt paid off? Sure. Um, well definitely having a budget was huge. Um, doing the, initially we did the Dave Ramsey thing where you actually had physical envelopes where you put cash into each spending category at the end of the month and then only spend from those cash envelopes. We eventually ended up switching to simple the online bank and stat and doing sort of online digital envelopes. We'd still earmark money at the end of the month because what we found is in practice, even though using cash does happen, a more emotional sort of visceral component, which sort of as Dave Ramsey would say, makes you probably spend less money in practice. It didn't really work cause we often forget the envelopes when we'd go out. You know, if you're buying something online, it was hard to then sort of square the budget that way. So w we're big believers in this idea that the imperfect method you stick to is far better than the perfect method. You don't actually do. Absolutely. So as long as you're doing something right direction that's more important. That definitely helped was having that the earmark money and then realizing, okay, our grocery money is spent so we know we're sticking to this Kansas sardines we have in the, yeah, in terms of like what were the actual things that we cut out of that as expenses. At the beginning, it was all those frivolous little things that we didn't, the obvious stuff, you know, the low hanging fruit. Like, okay, do we need to go out to the movie theater every once in a while or can we rent DVDs from the library and watch them at home and make our fancy popcorn. We do this fancy popcorn that we make at home with them. Butter and truffle oil and we like sort of relish that. It's like so fancy popcorn. Um, so we started doing movies at home. Um, anytime we wanted a book we request it from the library or if they had a library already, just get it. The library. Um, quick pro tip, if people don't use their libraries, this is mind blowing to me, but can go to library and if they don't have the book you can just request for them to get it. And I've never had them not get the book I requested. I've requested probably a dozen by this point, you know, my tax dollars at work I guess. But uh, yeah. And other quick tangent for those that maybe are used to buying books and then writing in their books. That's sort of one of my meditations is underlining sentences. So that took a little bit of an adjustment for me, but it's actually now it's a pro instead of a con because what I find is that by having to write out quotes that I like from books, I actually increased my connection with the material and my ability to remember it. Whereas before I just underline it and then forget it. So, so other things are, we were going to, we originally were thinking about, Oh, do we need a second car? But then we decided, Nope, we'll stick to this one, make different places. So we just made it work. You know, one person would drop off the other and go to walk or we'd walk. Um, what else did we do? We certainly examined our grocery budget and tried to look at some other ways to, um, reduce, we can come back to that. That's, that's a big HBO now. Um, Amazon prime, Netflix, Hulu. I mean we had like all four of 'em piddly little things, but all those little things added up to big results. Yes. Well, one thing we did eventually was, um, stopped going to get our haircut at a barber shop or a hairdresser. I started just buzzing my hair instead. I like having shorter hair anyway. And so we just bought ourselves a pair of Clippers at Costco and it pays [inaudible]. Yeah. And for a while I was watching YouTube videos on how to cut my own hair. Yes or no. Now I'm like, eh, I'll go get my haircut. I'll just do it less frequently. Um, so those were some of the small things in terms of the [inaudible], the big, big one being housing. Um, we did actually leave that place. We were living at the time because John left a job that wasn't really working out for him. Um, and we moved in with family who had a baby on the way and we said, Hey, can we come? You know, we'll help look after the baby if we can stay in the little, you know, they had a mother in law suite in the back of the house and they said, of course, come on down. So we actually live with them for a little over a year. I was in the bro pair, so, um, that was honestly such a, uh, that was very, very generous of them to let us stay with them. But then not having that rent payment for awhile meant that we could, you know, uh, pay down debt at a pretty Swift rate, um, with, with, even though we were down to one salary at that point. That's awesome. So that really, I'm sure that really helped speed up the process and get this knocked out even down to one income. That's pretty amazing. Now what were some of the things with meal prepping and food that you want to talk about to cut costs but yet not compromise your health? Sure. I think the number one thing to point out first is that the focus should always be on what's called nutrient density and not on calories. So a lot of people will say, Oh, this meal hasX calories, so it's good or it's great, or it's this many dollars per calorie. And from our perspective as people trained in nutrition, that is just not the ideal way to go. Yeah, you really want to focus on nutrient density, um, which you know, is just what, what's going to get you. So, you know, you have macro nutrients like proteins, fats and carbohydrates, and then you have micronutrients, which are all the vitamins and minerals. So when we're talking about nutrient density, we're talking about those micronutrients there. So, um, so for us that looked like we were, uh, you can, for example, we talked about this a little bit earlier, but buying like a whole cow or a half a cow or even a quarter cow, you can go in with people and split up the meat. That really reduces the cost to, you know, four or five, three or four or $5 per pound depending on where you are. And you can still get really good quality, uh, grass fed, grass finished meat and support farmers who are raising their animals. In a way that is sustainable and not just sustainable sealant land, but is actually restoring the land so that it's better for everybody. Um, we started actually sprouting lentils and using that to stretch ground meat, which sounds weird, but in sprouting them, you are increasing the nutrient nutrition in the bioavailability, nerdy. You're increasing how your, how your body is able to absorb and use the nutrients gained. The, you know, you can sprout, you can soak and sprout, you know, all sorts of things. But basically you're doing is you're tricking that seed into thinking that it's already planted in the ground. And so then it will sort of turn off its natural defenses because normally the problem with legumes and nuts and seeds is that they have this protective shell that makes them really hard to digest. And so even people say, Oh, there's all these vitamins and minerals in these foods. You can't really get at it unless you do some, some sort of trickery. And so that's what the soaking the sprouting. So that's, yeah, so we did the sprouted lentils and we would make that one for one with ground beef. Um, I really like fermenting vegetables. So we would do our own sauerkraut and stuff, which is a natural and super cheap source of probiotics. Super simple, really intimidating. It's literally cabbage, salt and amaze and dark and time and time and not much time. Yeah. Yeah. Um, let's see, what else were we doing? We definitely changed where we were shopping, so I'd say before we, I mean it was, we just didn't really give it a second thought as to where we were shopping. So buying more in bulk, um, buying locally and in season makes things a lot cheaper. That was super helpful. Um, and then, you know, since then I've been doing a lot more sort of bartering and trading, which is new to me, but I know people have been doing that for centuries. Like for example, um, uh, this summer I have been helping out with, uh, actually where we get our meat, our farmers, they invited me to come help. Well, I offered to volunteer at their booth and they said, we'll pay you, you've all, and told them, I volunteered them that I was going to help them at their farmer's market and they said, we'll pay you. So I basically just get paid in meat now. And so that's also, it does help reduce our grocery budget. That was that. And then just a quick tangent on meat. So we've said that word a few times. I know that's kind of a controversial topic to a lot of people. We intentionally do consume it as nutritionist because it's one of the most nutrient dense foods on the planet, especially things like liver. Um, you know, people talk about quote unquote super foods and they'll mention things like Asai berries or KL. I was like, those things are great, but if you were to put a table of nutrients and put those side aside, they don't hold a candle. Yeah. Nutrient density. Like we can get into organ meats too as another cheap source of great nutrition. But, um, there's another, uh, another functional nutrition therapy practitioner of there. And she, she was said, um, I'm pretty sure that all the, the like answers to nutritional problems can be solved with liver. I wish it were ice cream, but I'm pretty sure it's liver. He's so much better if it was ice cream. So much better. Yeah. Actually that was another one. We did start cooking a little bit more with organ meats, which are, the benefit of those is that they're so rich in nutrients and they're really good for you, so likes, they're cheaper, they're cheaper. So, um, if you eat heart, it's good for your heart. If you eat liver, it's good for your liver, et cetera. Um, and I think, you know, especially in our culture, a lot of us are really squeamish about organ meats, but there's ways that you can prepare them that aren't too freaky, that don't taste weird and that you know, your, your kids and your husband will eat too and not know. For example, you can mix in a little bit of like meatballs for example. And you know, spices and herbs and things that can help cover up the flavor. Resurrection. She wrote a whole post on the blog about easy ways to eat liver and other organ meats. Yeah. Cause I hate liver so I'm always trying to find, I know, but I know it's so good for me so I'm always trying to find ways to get it in my diet. She actually makes her own liver pills. Yeah. I make desiccated liver capsules cause I'm a weirdo. But anyway, it was expensive. You can make them really cheap. Yeah. This is, this is me being like I'm not going to pay $50 for a bottle of 120 capsules of desiccated liver. I'm going to figure out how to do it myself. $5. And you've got some resources on your website that kind of gives people these ideas cause I'm like, Oh yeah, eat liver. I don't like it. Yes. Yeah. Actually so, well, one thing that is a really good kind of introduction is if you make like a chicken liver Patty, if you just Google parte, it's basically liver plus butter plus herbs and you can do that on, you know, carrot sticks or cucumber slices and it's sort of like a good little dip. Yeah, it's really good. Chicken liver in general is much more mild livers of quote unquote ruminant animals. Cows. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say if you're starting out do a chicken liver potty, that's a good way to dip your toes in the water. Yeah, you're really liked me and you really, really can't do any of the tastes. I think it is worth it to get like a in capsule form because it's just so good for you. Like livers rich in B vitamins, which give you energy, iron Coleen. It's good for the brain. It's good for your own liver and your own body's detox mechanisms. So yeah, huge fan of organ meat over here coming up. So Oregon meats buying a whole cow soaking and sprouting lentils. Oh, a quick thing about the lentils and the ground meat. So ground meat is another strategy on itself on its own because it tends to be much, much cheaper per pound. Yes. We switched from like steaks, you know, I'm doing more things with gardens. Yeah. I love me a good steak but more expensive per pound. So yeah, having ground meat most of the time doing meatballs, things like that. Yeah. Now what about, um, cause I kinda switched to like ground chicken and ground pork. Is that healthier than like ground beef? Insane, kind of the same idea or no fear? I'd say they're fine. Um, yeah, so there is this notion that red meat is unhealthy. That's a really, really common belief. It's just flat out not true. There's a lot of myths. That's why a whole other podcast, we don't have that here, but you can easily, you can easily look into, um, there's, there was a lot of shoddy science, a lot of vested interests, um, a lot of politics, so into that. So, um, as so I'm a certified in functional nutrition. I can tell you that's just not true. Um, but if you don't like it, that's, I think often that's where I come to is if you like other meats more or if you like fish like fine, go for it. Um, or if you are a vegetarian, like there are ways to at least optimize your nutrition within those restrictions. You know, having more eggs for example, or having full fat dairy. So other than those things, um, yeah, it really, I think it was mostly sort of the aggregation of small gains that really just added up over time and then continually going back and looking at our budget again. Every month we do a thing called open loops for each week we'll meet and have sort of a budget party and we'll look at, we'll get all our spending for the week. We'll review upcoming events or upcoming expenses and sort of make it fun. Um, which actually that's another sort of tangent. One of the things we did while we were paying off debt to help make that fine as every time we'd make a debt payment, we'd literally do a dance, happy dance, happy dance. We'd like hold hands and jump up and down and it sounds so ridiculous, but we look forward to that so much like every time that we, you know, every time that our paychecks would come over, like yes, we get a pay off debt and do her happy dance. And so, um, I like anytime you're trying to establish a habit like that, I would highly recommend the happy dance because it just, it gives you a little burst of excitement and it, it's, once you, it makes you want to do that behavior more. Yeah. She helps create a new habit loop. Yes. Highly recommend the happy dance. I think there's a video of it on our Instagram now. Do you guys have any tips or advice for couples that maybe aren't quite on the same page of maybe just like working together compromising so that you can reach your bigger goal? Yeah, this is a really, I think, important and interesting topic to me. Um, I really think it's important not to push, not to nag, you know, each person has to come to this on their own and they have to have buy-in intrinsically. In fact, we could talk more about the Gretchen Rubin four tenancies again here I think because especially if your partner is what's called a rebel, the more you push and the more you talk about this, the more they're going to resist and push back. So just stepping back a bit. So, um, I mentioned Gretchen Rubin earlier, but she's, um, an author and also a podcast or who has developed, she had wrote a book called the four tendencies. So it's this framework of four different tendencies of people and they differ based on how they respond to expectation. So she says like internal expectation might be like a new year's resolution, whereas external expectation could be like a work deadline or something your partner wants you to do. Um, so there are these four types which are upholder, obliger, questioner and rebel. And so they'll uphold both internal and external expectations. So you give them something to do, no problem, checkbox, they'll do it. Don't even have to ask them again. Um, anything they want to do, like adopting a new habit, done, no problem. Obligers or aspire to be. How do you just, you just make up your mind and you just do it. How is that possible? Um, and then you've got the obligers. So for them it's, it's hard for them to accomplish something, uh, less. They know they have accountability, so they'll do the things that are external expectations, but it's hard for them to stick to internal expectation. Then there's the question or type, which like, John, uh, they will do something if essentially what they're doing is turning it into internal expectation if they go, yep, that makes sense. With my logic and the way I see the world. And if it doesn't make sense, then they're like, well that's silly. You know, that that doesn't make sense. So that is external. If it's a rule or if somebody in authority says you have to do this thing, if it doesn't make sense, I'm not going to do it. Yeah. And then the last one is the rebel type. So rebels, which is what I am, I'm resist internal and external expectations. So you can tell rebels if you say, I, you know, you can't do that or I bet you couldn't do X. The rebel will say, watch me. So I have, um, you know, one thing I always say is that it's best to just assume that everybody is a rebel and then you'll always do, it's a safe assumption. So I think that in doing that, you, you always have to make the rebel think that it's their idea. They have to come to that conclusion on their own. So one exercise that I think is really useful that I heard about, um, uh, the, have you heard the, you've seen the plane with fire documentary? Um, I haven't watched it now. Okay. So, well anyway, in that when the husband in that documentary is bringing up to the wife, uh, what, what he had to do was make a list of the 10 things that make you happiest. And so it was like, you know, spending time with my baby, like spending time with my husband, hearing my baby laugh, you know, a glass of wine, chocolate, whatever. And then the approach became, okay, how can we get more of these things that make us the happiest in our life? And so viewing it that way, how can we get more of what we already want instead of where should we we or should we cut money? Right? You know, where should we cut expenses? It's about, okay, let's figure out how to strategize to get more of the things that we want. So like for us, that was freedom, fulfillment, being close to family, being able to work from home. And so we've made a lot of sacrifices and a lot of decisions for us to get more of those things that we want. So I'd say if you approach your partner, have proposed that exercise, say like, look, let's both take a piece of paper, we'll go away, we'll write down the 10 things that bring us the most joy and then we'll come together and compare our lists and that. Yeah, that that's what they did in playing with fire. That's what they talked about in the book that they wrote. And I really liked that because, because when you approach things from what do you want, how do you get more of the things that you want? It's something that you're running towards, not something that you're running away from. Right. And it just seems more like a world of possibility and there's room for creativity and figuring out how do we do this rather than, okay we have to cut more money. I guess we're really, you know, we really need to cut out spending here. Like that's not motivating or not sustainable. Exactly. Cause inevitably is it both partners are not fully [inaudible]. You know, in it, one partner who doesn't really want to do it, we'll do it for a while, to a certain extent to make the other partner happy, but the whole time it'll be a sacrifice and it'll be something they're doing for the other person, which has resentment and resistance and it's just not a recipe for a happy marriage or getting out of debt or building financial independence. So, so I'd say, yeah, the first thing is that list of the 10, you know, the 10 things that make you the most happy. The second thing I would say is, is um, figuring out if those four tendencies, which are partners, you might already have a good idea of what they are, but Gretchen Rubin does have a quiz on her website, um, which is free. You can find out which one you are, but if you know what type they are, then you can, um, you can persuade them in a way that fits their type. And you can also help build systems that will work for both of you with, but with what your types are. So for John, he was persuaded by the logic of the Dave Ramsey baby steps for another questioner. Like John maybe looking at the math of, okay, look, if we push hard, we could get all of this paid off in this amount of time and then we'd have more freedom to do X, Y, and Z. You know, if it's a rebel, it's the, what do you want more of? Like how can we be creative to get more freedom and letting you be yourself. And I think the rebel to adding in that, you know, an element of credit card companies or the man, you know, they want you to be in debt. Yeah. They want you to be controlled. That's how you get a rebel to control you and you, you're not gonna, you're not the type of person to be controlled are you? Then it's really hard. You probably can't do it. Yeah. And then so with the obliger, it's a matter of accountability. So, Mmm. You know, building in those systems of maybe it's art, like our open loops meetings where once a week you're coming together and discussing these things, the upholders, they'll just do it. You don't have to worry about that. So that is really good advice. Um, so do I even need to ask you what your favorite nonfiction book is? I think we have a good idea that I have probably gifted that book to people more than any other book. It really, my life, it changed my, my, uh, how I viewed myself. It changed our marriage. It changed how we relate to our family members, to our coworkers already. I think a good solid marriage and we have good relationships with family, but it just made it even that much better and that much easier to understand why people do what they do. Which pride for me as a questioner is really important. Yeah. Yeah. And we love that stuff. We love, like why do people behave the way they do? Right. Um, that's definitely one of them. Another book that's been very transformative for us. It's called the power of when [inaudible] and this is all about what are called chronotypes, which are your natural circadian rhythm. So your body clock clock KC. Exactly. Um, you know, we had this earlier, I'd mentioned that Rosemary is a morning person. I'm a night person. There's actually four types that the author lays out, which are, they're named after animals. So there's a lion, which is the morning person, early riser. Go get him first thing in the morning. They start, you know, they start at 11 and then they quickly taper off afternoon and just crash. It was just Rosemary. There's the bear and they're sort of the nine to five. They follow the sun. So most of about 50% of population are bears. And this is actually how most of society is organized, is around the natural biorhythms of bears. So you know, we have worked nine to five, that's the bare schedule. Third is the Wolf. That's what I am. So we are really slowly at going in the morning. We tend to be up later and wake up later. Um, it's been really empowering to find out that's what I am because my whole life I always felt frustrated that the entire world seemed to be sort of designed against this natural rhythm. And I always felt like I was lazy or there was something wrong with me cause I just couldn't get up earlier and I would never be able to fall asleep early enough to get up early. So same here. I worked night shift. So you're probably the Wolf type. Yeah. Um, and then the fourth one is dolphin and these are sort of the classic insomniac where they have a really hard time falling and staying asleep. Um, but what he lays out in the book is not only normalizing that these, these four tendencies are all normal and natural, but then also he gives you schedules that are sort of optimized for each type, which is really, I mean everything from, you know, when to eat, when to work, when to do creative work, when to do more admin and minutiae type stuff. Um, even work out what to do when to exercise based on your, your natural rhythms would have sex based on your natural rhythms for, you know, APOE enjoyment. And then most important I think in terms of the relationship is if you are a different type from your partner, figuring out sort of the, the, the best compromise time for things based on both of you. So obviously with Rosemary and I, we're kind of opposite ends of the, the spectrum here in terms of time, but we figured out a rhythm that, that works for both of us where we can still, you know, have a happy, healthy marriage and still see each other sometimes not want to bite each other's heads off. Yeah. That's awesome. I'll have to check that one out. So do you have any last words of wisdom you've given us lots to think about today? I think one thing that, uh, that, that I always say, um, that about, you know, why it's worth spending money on getting food that's of a higher quality. It's, you can choose to pay the farmer now or you can pay the doctor later. And that's really up to you. And for us, we just found that it's worth it to spend a little bit more money, um, on higher quality food and know that we're taking care of ourselves so that when we do get to a point where we can retire, where, uh, you can enjoy it, we can enjoy it fully. So yeah, we do kind of see food and nutrition and health in general is an investment in your most important asset, which is, you know, there's a lot of people that will optimize for finances there, their financial assets and they'll have a great portfolio, but they don't have the health to fully enjoy it. Uh, I remember when I was living and working in Taiwan years ago, uh, one of the guys that I was teaching, very wealthy guy, and he had this great quote, which is, he said, health is a one and wealth are zeros. And if you have all these zeros but you don't have the one in front, it's meaningless. Wow. And that's always stuck with me. That's, yeah. Yeah. I think just, I'm going to add one other word of wisdom that I really, really like and that is that I'm sort of going along with what we were saying about the sleep chronotypes and the four tendencies is that we can't ascribe morality to biology. So if you are that night owl type, you know, that's the way your body is designed to run for you. You're not broken, you're not a lazy or bad person. Similarly, um, you know, with the, with whatever tendency you are, if it's rebel or, or a bunch of whatever, like, you know, I'm not a, I used to just have this belief that like I'm a difficult person. I seem to be like dissatisfied in a cubicle job. Like, what's wrong with me? Other people seem to be okay with this. And he goes, Oh, I'm just a rebel. So, um, I think helping to understand yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Knowing yourself, knowing these concepts that helps you remove that morality from your own biology and understand, Oh, this is just the way I'm wired, so now I can make allowances and make changes in my life too. Um, you know, allow that part of me to flourish. Definitely. That's great. Now where can people find you? Yeah, so we're on Instagram at flourish fundamentals. Our website is flourish fundamentals.com. Um, and we have a weekly newsletter, so we're on flourish Friday. So, um, if you sign up for a newsletter on our website, we send out recipes and, um, teach you about the stuff that you need to do to take care of yourself for optimal wellness. And then actually, I'm currently writing my third book right now. Um, I'm writing a book that's all about kind of seasonal mood changes. I've always had a really hard time in the fall and winter, and now that that's rolling around again, um, I decided to kind of take all this knowledge and research that I've done over the past year and some things that I've implemented to help myself with that sort of putting that into a book to help other people that struggle with the same thing. Oh, awesome. Yeah, that's gonna be called happy in winter. Oh, awesome. I can't wait to read it. Yeah, I will if then you copy [inaudible]. Sounds good. Thanks you guys so much for being here today. Thank you, Ashley. Thank you. Special Guest: John & Rosemary Fotheringham.

Kori and Joe continue their discussion about self-direction through the lens of Gretchen Rubin's 4 Tendencies framework. How you respond to inner and outer expectations can influence self-direction! Listen in to find out where you might fit in-- are you a questioner, an upholder, an obliger, or a rebel? 00:10 Intro The 4 Tendencies: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/ 01:50 May cyclists run a red light? 03:10 How We Respond to Rules & Expectations: QUESTIONERS accept rules that make sense UPHOLDERS accept all the rules. OBLIGERS accept outside rules but not self-imposed rules. REBELS reject rules. 11:00 The goal of this info: ~Self-awareness comes first ~Look at ways to understand yourself better ~When do you feel constricted; energized? 15:30 Wrap up Thanks for visiting! Kori Propst, PhD, and Joe Klemczewski, PhD, merge their voices to create life-enhancing conversations and content you can use every day. Kori is the Vice President and Wellness Director of The Diet Doc, LLC—a health and weight-loss licensing company founded by Joe more than 20 years ago. Together, Joe and Kori help hundreds of Diet Doc Program Owners build industry-leading nutrition coaching platforms around the world. Now they're bringing their talent to a daily podcast where nothing is off limits. Motivation, nutrition, weight loss, career, relationships, fitness entrepreneurship, and even guest interviews and features will be dissected and categorized for convenient listening or viewing. What happens when you mix 30 years of psychology, nutrition, physiology, social anthropology, and even literary journalism education with 40 years of business-building experience and almost 90 years (should I say that?) of combined real life? Let's find out! SUBSCRIBE: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-diet-doc-life-mastery-podcast/id1385194556?mt=2 http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=thedietdocweightloss FITNESS ENTREPRENEUR? Find out how to become The Diet Doc expert in your community! https://www.dropbox.com/s/mv4mwtiignpxkn2/The%20Diet%20Doc%20MEDIA%20KIT%202018.pdf?dl=0 FREE QUIZ: DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MEET YOUR GOALS? https://www.dropbox.com/s/thmmokbc3kd8uw3/Principles%20of%20Persistent%20Pursuit%20-%20Free%20Assessment.pdf?dl=0 LET'S CONNECT! Website: https://www.thedietdoc.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheDietDoc Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/dietdocglobal Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thedietdoclife Podcast: https://soundcloud.com/thedietdoc

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he's on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He's off and running and you don't need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren't crazy—there's a reason for this. It comes down to a person's tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you've seen her on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she's created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.

Special Guest: Gretchen Rubin We all have different kinds of kids that we parent, teach or coach. Think about it. Some seem easy as pie and others drive you absolutely bonkers. You give one kid a responsibility or perhaps you help one kid set a goal- and he's on it. Committed and ready to whatever it takes to follow through. He's off and running and you don't need to do anything to help him make it happen. Wow! What a great parent or teacher you must be! Then- you give another kid a responsibility or help him set a goal and he might question you for an hour about why he has to do it this way or that and every who, what, where, when and how it will be done as well. Still other kids may need regular accountability to ensure progress or maybe you even know a few that may resist moving forward no matter what you try. Have I described the kids in your life yet? Why in the world can setting expectations, giving responsibilities or helping kids set goals work so easily for some kids and seem like a lesson in futility for others? Turns out, you aren't crazy—there's a reason for this. It comes down to a person's tendency. And you know what? You have them too. Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster bestsellers Better Than Before and The Happiness Project. Perhaps you've seen her on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday or give her Ted Talk or give expert happiness advice on the Today Show or Good Morning America. She also has a very popular podcast that you may have heard—called Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. Her new book, The Four Tendencies, reveals a personality framework she's created that that explains that people fall into four types: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. And we are going to talk all about it today. The post How the Four Tendencies of Personality Can Help Us Better Understand Our Kids with Gretchen Rubin appeared first on drrobynsilverman.com.