Podcasts about perfectionists

#398: What if the patterns you've been blaming yourself for were actually survival strategies you learned for a reason? This week, I'm celebrating the paperback release of my book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. I'm sharing why I wrote this book, the experiences that led me to create the framework of emotional outsourcing, and why I believe we need a new way to understand these patterns. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/398 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift

Welcome to Episode 155 of The Perfectionist's Guide to Mothering!  Today I have the privilege of chatting with Nathan Graham.He is the author of Why Won't He Just Log Off?, a speaker, coach, entrepreneur, AI consultant, and father. His work sits at the intersection of technology, human behavior, family connection, leadership, and personal growth. Through his work with families, parents, partners, communities, and business owners, Nathan helps people better understand the growing challenges of video game addiction, excessive screen time, digital dependency, and our increasinglycomplicated relationship with technology.Some of the resources we mention in this episode include:Nathan's Book: Why Won't He Just Log Off?*The Peterson AcademyC.S. Lewis Books*The Hobbit by J.R.R.Tolkien*The 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson* You can connect with Nathan via:His website: syntheticecho.caInstagram: @nathan.graham.ai Don't forget that you can connect with me via:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My website: andreafortenberry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram: @andreafortenberry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Grab a copy of my book, Two-Minute Timeouts for New Moms**Affiliate Link

What if the life you're living makes perfect sense on paper—but you never consciously chose it?We absorb ideas about what life is supposed to look like long before we're old enough to question them: get married, build a career, start a family, be responsible, keep moving forward. And sometimes those expectations become so internalized that we stop asking ourselves what we actually want.In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim shares a deeply personal story from Free to Be about becoming pregnant at 30 after six years of marriage—not because she consciously decided motherhood was what she wanted at that moment, but because starting a family simply felt like the next thing she was supposed to do.This episode explores the difference between living from choice and living from momentum, how the Inner Controller keeps us following familiar life scripts, and why a role can become so intertwined with our identity that we stop realizing it is a role at all.You'll explore questions like:• Did I choose this—or did I simply do what came next?• What parts of my life have I consciously chosen and what have I inherited?• Who am I underneath the roles I've learned to play?• What might I admit to myself if no one could be disappointed?• Is the life I'm living still true for me?This isn't about regretting the life you've lived or blowing everything up.It's about becoming conscious enough to author the life you're living now.Because being free to be your true self sometimes begins with realizing you've been following a script for so long that you forgot you were allowed to write your own.

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Are you a perfectionist, a dabbler, or a denier? Dr. Tabatha and Ashlee sit down with FTF coach Marilyn, who traded perfection for obedience and found more peace in her mid-50s than ever before. A real talk on surrender, identity in Christ, and why God is calling you now, not once you feel ready.Perfectionist. Dabbler. Denier. Dr. Tabatha names the three ways women avoid the truth about their health - and their faith. Then she and Ashlee sit down with Fast to Faith coach Marilyn Bright, a recently retired New Jersey school administrator turned faith-based health coach, who spent decades doing faith "in isolation" - a checklist of prayer and exercise she performed and then shelved before the stress of the day undid it.Marilyn shares what changed when she stopped trying to earn her way to perfect before letting God in, and started bringing Him all of her instead - her work, her marriage, her body, her mess. She walks through her path from the $5 Challenge to the 40-Day Program to the Coaching Academy, why the weekly Monday calls became "sacred" to her, and how surrender in obedience means moving before she feels ready, not after.In Marilyn's own words: "I came to Fast to Faith to lose weight; but what I found was and continues to be a transformation - learning to love my whole self instead of trying to punish my body into weight loss."In this episode●      The three ways women avoid the truth: perfectionist, dabbler, denier●      Why "it's easier to perform for God than to sit still for God"●      How Marilyn moved from a faith checklist to giving God all of her●      The lie that you must be perfect before God will bless you●      Martha and Mary - producing vs. being present with Jesus●      What weekly coaching and community accountability actually does●      The power of praying for one another in the Fast to Faith sisterhood●      This week's charge: be still and know that He is GodScripture referenced●      Psalm 46:10 - "Be still, and know that I am God."●      John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."●      Luke 15 - The Prodigal Son●      Luke 10:38-42 - Martha and MaryAbout MarilynMarilyn Bright is a wife, mom, recently retired school administrator, and now a faith-based health coach from Berlin, New Jersey. She serves on her church's worship team, leads the women's ministry, and sits on the church board. She also mentors novice school principals for the state of New Jersey. Off the clock, she loves personal and spiritual growth through reading and online courses, practicing yoga, traveling with her family, and spending time with her beagle and chocolate lab.●      Follow Marilyn: instagram.com/marilyn.faithwellness/●      Start with Marilyn's 5-Day Challenge: ftf.fasttofaith.com/empoweredbyfaithdiy-559443?am_id=marilyn5950Your healing story is someone else's roadmap.And if you are still in the middle of your own - you need this too.If you have ever wondered what it would look like to turn your transformation into your calling Dr. Tabatha live Join here:https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/bookings/from-stuck-to-freeJoin Dr. Tabatha LIVE: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/bookings/from-stuck-to-freeReady to go deeper?Start here: 5-Day Empowered by Faith Challenge ftf.fasttofaith.com/empoweredbyfaithdiyShop Dr. Tabatha's supplement line: Use code PODCAST for 20% off your first order: shop.fasttofaith.comGet the book: Fast to Faith: A 40-Day Awakening: book.fasttofaith.com/bonus?am_id=fasttofaith5413Fast to Faith is hosted by Dr. Tabatha Barber — OB/GYN, functional medicine physician, and founder of the Fast to Faith Sisterhood and Coaching Academy.

Perfection can feel like a high standard.But sometimes, it is just fear delaying the launch.In this episode of The Level Up Podcast, Paul Alex breaks down why perfectionism can become one of the most expensive forms of procrastination—and why speed, feedback, and iteration often matter more than getting everything right on the first attempt.You cannot learn everything in private.At some point, the market has to see the product.Real customers will show you what works, what breaks, and what actually needs improvement.In this episode, you'll learn:• Why perfectionism can disguise fear of criticism• How excessive preparation can slow your speed to market• Why customer feedback is more valuable than endless internal tweaking• How rapid iteration creates a more adaptable businessThe truth is simple:Version one does not need to be perfect.It needs to exist.Launch the product.Collect the feedback.Fix the weaknesses.Improve the experience.Then repeat the process faster than your competitors are willing to.Perfection delays information.Execution creates it.Push the button.Read the data.Keep improving.Your Network is your NETWORTH!Make sure to add me on all SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS:Instagram: https://jo.my/paulalex2024Facebook: https://jo.my/fbpaulalex2024YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGhDAD1JyGGzSQUPD9lc9HQLinkedIn: https://jo.my/inpaulalex2024Looking for a secondary source of income or want to become an entrepreneur? Check out one of my companies below to see if we can help you:www.CashSwipe.comFREE Copy of my book “Blue to Digital Gold - The New American Dream”www.officialPaulAlex.com

Have you ever noticed that even when everything is okay, some part of you is still waiting for something to go wrong?You might worry about your health, your children, your relationship, your work—or simply have that uneasy feeling that you shouldn't get too comfortable because the other shoe could drop at any moment.That part of you isn't trying to ruin the good moments. It may be a younger part of you that learned long ago that staying alert was one way to stay safe.In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, we move from understanding hypervigilance into actually practicing something different: inner safety.I'll show you how to begin shifting the responsibility for keeping you safe away from your younger self and into the hands of your Adult Self—the grounded part of you that can say:I'm here now. You don't have to keep watch anymore. I'll take it from here.We'll explore:• Why calm can sometimes feel uncomfortable or even unsafe• How your younger self may still be scanning for danger• What your Adult Self actually is—and how you strengthen it• Why inner safety is not the promise that nothing bad will happen• How to stop abandoning yourself when life becomes uncertain• A guided meditation to help your Adult Self nurture your younger selfBecause real safety doesn't come from controlling the future.It comes from knowing that whatever happens, you will remain present with yourself through it.If you've spent much of your life watching, worrying, preparing, controlling, or waiting for the other shoe to drop, this episode is an invitation to finally let that younger part of you come off duty.

In deze aflevering duiken we in het verschil tussen een perfectionist en het hebben van veel zelfkritiek. Want waar ze in het begin wellicht op elkaar lijken, zit er een essentieel verschil in! Mag ik jou interviewen voor een persoonlijke meditatie in ruil? Mail dan naar hienke@praktijksparkle.nl of ga naar www.instagram.com/hienkenuninga.sparkle en DM me!

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the world's most researched, recommended, and criticized form of therapy. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen joins Forrest to talk about what CBT is, its history, its strengths and weaknesses, and why it's gotten such a bad rap. They walk through the common criticisms: that it's spreadsheet therapy, that it's a form of self-gaslighting, and that it has an, er, "complex" relationship with insurance companies. They then apply the best of the CBT toolkit to Ellen's areas of expertise: self-criticism, perfectionism, procrastination, and social anxiety.  About our Guest: Ellen is a clinical psychologist at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders and the author of How to Be Yourself and her newest book, ⁠How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists⁠. Key Topics: 00:00: Dr. Ellen Hendricksen and what differentiates CBT 7:54: Is CBT warm? 10:25: The first wave: behaviorism 19:57: The second wave: cognitive therapy and Aaron Beck 26:18: The third wave: mindfulness driven approaches 31:44: How the same problem would be handled by the three waves 34:53: Issues of fit 38:00: Critique 1: CBT is reductive 42:30: When CBT is a poor fit: trauma, intellectualizers 53:27: CBT for social anxiety and perfectionism 1:01:14: The two ingredients of perfectionism  1:07:46: Perfectionism and procrastination  1:25:07: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! ⁠If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.⁠ Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at ⁠https://shopify.com/beingwell⁠.  MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there's never been a better time to get in. Get at least 15% off any annual membership at ⁠https://MasterClass.com/BEINGWELL⁠ Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to ⁠https://Quince.com/BEINGWELL⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five-day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The more I talk about the perfectionist mindset and our perfectionist brains, the more misconceptions I hear.  In this Best of The Podcast episode, I'm sharing some of the biggest misconceptions about perfectionism to help you understand your perfectionist brain and learn how to work with it, instead of against it. If you're a perfectionist and you're building a business, you want to listen to this episode today. If you're ready to get out of your own way in your business, you want to join my coaching program Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD). Sign up now at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. To learn how to plan out your week in a way that works with your perfectionist brain, sign up for my free 5-Part Planning Series here: samlaurabrown.com/planningseries.

There was a stretch of my life where I could not be alone. Not because I loved being social so much, but because without someone else in the room, I did not know who I was. No plans for the night meant a full blown panic attack. What was I supposed to do with myself? More importantly, who even was I? Turns out that is not just a me thing. It has a name, emotional outsourcing, and it is exactly what I dig into with my guest Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, author of End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. She also hosts the Feminist Wellness Podcast, and from the first minute we hit record, it was clear this was going to be one of those conversations we could have kept going all day. We get into emotional outsourcing, the term Béa uses for the codependent, people-pleasing, and perfectionist habits so many of us learned as survival strategies. We also talk about how somatic work actually changes us, instead of just helping us understand our patterns intellectually. And if you are Gen X or a Xennial, this is your bonus round. Somewhere around the Mac LE2 and Saved by the Bell, we take a short detour into nostalgia.  What you'll hear about in this episode: What emotional outsourcing actually is, and why Béa uses it as the catch-all term underneath codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism (5:19) Using TV and movies as a mirror for healthy relating, and why even a show as savage as Veep can retrain your brain to recognize what it's missing (10:52) How Béa defines the differences between codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism, and why they are survival habits, not character flaws (23:50) Why knowing your patterns intellectually isn't the same as changing them, and how somatic experiencing helps your body believe a new story (20:24) The reticular activating system and the default mode network, the two brain regions that keep us running the same old stories until we interrupt them (25:47) Béa's "kitten steps" approach to rebuilding trust with yourself, starting as small as actually letting yourself pee when you have to pee (30:52) Learn more about Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP: Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP (she/her) is a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, author of the bestselling "End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcoming Your Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits" and Breathwork Meditation Guide with a passion for helping humans socialized as women to reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems and rewire their minds, so they can break free from codependency, perfectionism and people pleasing and reclaim their joy. 

Have you ever noticed that the moment life feels calm, your mind starts looking for what could go wrong?Your kids are okay. Your health is okay. Nothing needs fixing. And yet instead of relaxing, you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop.In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, I explore why some of us struggle to trust peace—and why hypervigilance can become one of the Inner Controller's favorite ways of trying to keep us safe.I share a frightening childhood experience that taught a younger part of me that danger could come without warning, and how those early conclusions can follow us long after the original experience is over.We'll explore:why the human brain naturally looks for potential threatshow our experiences teach us what to become vigilant aboutwhy worrying, fixing, controlling, and overthinking can feel like safetyhow hypervigilance can keep us from experiencing joythe difference between external certainty and inner safetythree ways to begin creating greater safety within yourselfThe goal isn't to convince yourself that nothing painful will ever happen.It's something much deeper:Inner safety is not knowing that nothing bad will happen. It's knowing that whatever happens, you will not abandon yourself.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I'm circling back to one of the original themes of this podcast: fighting with my boys. I've been noticing one common thread behind so many of our arguments—or the moments when we successfully avoid them—and it usually comes down to trust.Whenever I trust my boys, there is less friction. But when I'm worried they won't manage their time, finish their homework, study enough, come home on time, or do what they said they would do, I start questioning, checking, and assuming the worst. It feels like good parenting in the moment, but often it's really anxiety and fear pretending to be responsibility.I share a story about buying ski boots with my 10-year-old and realizing that he was right when he said the boots didn't fit. I also talk about the importance of setting our kids up to fail, because failure is often how they learn. Our job isn't always to prevent every mistake—it's to give them opportunities to succeed, fail, and learn for themselves.I also explore the perfectionist side of parenting and everyday life. Sometimes we avoid doing something because we can't do it perfectly: cleaning the kitchen, working out, recording a podcast, or handling a parenting moment exactly right. My reminder to myself is: do it shitty. Lower the expectations, let go of the perfect process, and just begin. Progress creates momentum, and momentum makes it easier to keep going.This episode is about noticing when we don't trust, catching ourselves without judgment, giving our kids room to learn, and giving ourselves permission to be imperfect parents who are still doing a pretty good job.Full TranscriptHey guys, how are you? How's it going? How's life?I am doing well and solving, problem solving and thinking about you guys. And I think I haven't talked to you in a long time about fighting, and this is what this podcast started out to be. But I think that I touch upon a lot of different things, and I just wanted to circle around to the fighting with the boys and kind of share with you what's going on with my teenagers and the one common thread I see throughout all the fights—or lack of the fights.And I've definitely talked about it before, but I think it still is very important to repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, because that's how we learn.So it's very simple. Very, very, very simple so far.Whenever I trust my boys, I avoid a fight.And whenever there's a lack of trust, and instead I have a fear—a fear that he's wrong, a fear that he's not going to manage his time, a fear that he didn't do a good enough job with his homework, that he didn't study enough for the test, a fear that he won't be home on time from the neighbours, a fear that they won't do the jobs I asked them to do—that's when there's friction. Every single time.And it's very hard for us to trust them because they don't know what they're doing most of the time, right? They're teenagers.But so many times I'm wrong when I don't trust. I'm just dead wrong. Especially with their work, their time management, studying enough, and things like that.For example, I was picking out ski boots for my 10-year-old. He tried them on and said they were too small. I did not trust him.To be honest, I said to him, “It is my job not to trust you, because when we go to the store and they measure you, they're going to tell me you need this exact size that we already have at home. So let's bring this boot with us and go to the store and have them measure you.”So we went to the store. They measured him, and they did say he needed this boot.But then, when we proceeded to try on this boot and the boot size up, he was right. They did not fit.Either they measured him wrong, or his foot just fits differently, or the boots fit smaller, or something. But I was wrong. He needed brand-new boots—not brand-new, but we bought used.The point is, he said to me, “Mom, you did not trust me. I kept telling you and telling you and telling you.”And this was my 10-year-old.I'm finding my 10-year-olds are a lot less teenage-y, right? They have less attitude. They're more innocent. They're so honest. They want to do such a good job.So it's easier to trust them in some ways, and in some ways it's not, because they're still little kids who I do have to check on things with.But I want to share these moments with you so that you start paying attention to when you don't trust.And you know what? This is the thing: the not-trusting part, when we are not trusting, it doesn't feel like, “Oh, I'm doing a bad thing.”No. It feels like we're actually doing a really good job parenting.We're like, “We know what's going to happen. I need to make sure that I talk to him about this, and I question him, and I double-check, and I need to prevent this terrible thing from happening.”It feels like anxiety. It feels like worry. It feels like preventative parenting. It just feels like good parenting.Like, this is what I know I should do.But it also doesn't feel that good, right? Because we're not trusting. We're coming from assuming the worst.So, being able to catch yourself when you feel like that—when it feels like anxiety but also feels like good parenting—check yourself.Am I trusting them? Can I trust them? How much trust can I give them here?And also, my friend—I was playing tennis with her—and she was telling me a story about her son. She said, “I have to set him up to fail so that he learns.”And that sentence just got imprinted in my head because that is so true.Set him up to fail. Set him up to fail.Why? Because that's how they learn.They don't learn from us telling them. They learn from the failure, which is super hard for us to do because we are constantly trying to avoid the failure, right?And when we trust, that's what we're doing. We're setting them up either to succeed or to fail. But either way, we're setting them up to learn.Succeed or learn.So that's my little take on parenting teenagers and 10-year-olds. Hopefully, you guys can access that idea of trusting and not trusting and balance it out.And what else?The other thing I want to put in there—a little sprinkle for you and for me—is: do it shitty.Lower your expectations way down.How do we do that?Well, just plan to fail half of the time. Plan to not trust them half of the time.Why? Because we're human. Because we're moms. Because we're parenting.By setting our expectations way lower—setting our expectation to fail—we're not going to beat ourselves up. We're not going to feel disappointed. We're not going to be so shocked. We're not going to feel like a terrible parent.No. We're going to feel like, “Hey, we're actually doing pretty good. Look at how much we are succeeding here.”And the reason why I'm saying this is because the more I find the perfectionist streak in me, the more I'm realizing how much it affects all of us.And the fear is the perfectionist coming out.Perfectionist people are afraid people. If a person is not a perfectionist, they're not afraid to fail. They're not afraid to have a messy ending, a shitty result, the failure, the fight, whatever.The more I uncover this in myself, I'm always so surprised because I don't think of myself as a perfectionist. But every time I uncover it, I'm so surprised. I didn't think I was, but I am.Even with cleaning up the kitchen.I often don't finish it because in my mind I'm like, “No, I have to have a longer amount of time. I have to have no disturbances. If I'm just going to be too stressed trying to clean it with this chaos, I'm not going to do it.”And that is perfectionist-type thinking.Why? Because I'm afraid the process will not go perfectly.I'm afraid that I will be stressed out. I'm afraid that I will snap at the kids. I'm afraid I won't finish.And that is perfectionist thinking because last night I told myself, “Do it shitty. Do it shitty. Just do it.”And I did it.I totally did not do it as perfectly as I envisioned the process, but I got it done. And it looks amazing. And it feels great to get up to a kitchen that's tidy.So it's not only the results that we want to be perfect. It's the process, too.Like, “I'm not going to attempt a workout if I don't have a full hour and my perfect outfit and my protein shake.”It's just going to stress me out to even think about working out right now because it's so busy and I don't have a full hour. So I'm not going to do it at all.That is perfectionist thinking.Do you have 20 minutes? Can you do five exercises in the clothes that you're already wearing? Do you have water?Okay, you don't have water. Just do 10 push-ups and 20 squats.That is going against your fear of a perfect process.Doing it shitty is going against the fear that the process has to be perfect—the way it's happening has to be perfect.And I find it so exciting and freeing.What else can I do shitty?But the thing is, doing it shitty is a way to get you to do the thing you want to do. You don't actually do it that shitty. You just lower your expectations of the process and the result, and you get it done.And then you feel incredible because you have progress.Once you have progress, you have momentum.Once you have momentum, you are more excited to keep going, to keep creating, to keep doing the same thing.So I'm just so happy because this is what I told myself about this podcast.I was like, “It does not have to be groundbreaking, but let's just do it.”Even if I've repeated myself, and I've talked about it before, it's still s Support the show

Welcome to Episode 154 of The Perfectionist's Guide to Mothering! Today I have the privilege of chatting with ElizabethBerget. Elizabeth is a speaker and author of Love Like a Mother: How the Sacred Work of Motherhood Reveals the Maternal Heart of God. Her work has appeared in Christianity Today, Coffee + Crumbs, Mothering Spirit, and other online spaces where mothers gather to find meaning in themundane.She shares her thoughts in her Substack newsletter, Back of the Flock, where she explores the image of God in the everyday work of motherhood. She has lived in Africa andAsia but now resides in Minneapolis, Minnesota, with her husband, three kids, and one mischievous dog. Some of the resources we mention include: Her book: Love Like a Mother: How the Sacred Work of Motherhood Reveals the Maternal Heart of God*The Place Between Our Pains by K.J. Ramsey*Famished by Anna Rollins*The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins*Music by Andy SquiresShout SprayKielbasa Sheet Pan DinnerInsulated Food Bags*You can connect with Elizabeth via:Her website: elizabethberget.comHer Substack: Back of the FlockDon't forget that you can connect with me via:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My website: andreafortenberry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram: @andreafortenberry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Grab a copy of my book, Two-Minute Timeouts for New Moms*⁠⁠*Affiliate Link

Why do so many former boarders struggle with perfectionism, overworking and the feeling that they are never quite good enough?In this episode of An Evolving Man Podcast, Piers Cross explores the link between boarding school syndrome, perfectionism, the inner critic and burnout.At boarding school, mistakes can carry a social cost. Vulnerability may be hidden, everyone else can appear to have it “sorted”, and achievement becomes a way of proving our worth. Underneath can sit a much deeper belief:“I'm not good enough.”Piers explores: Why boarding school can encourage perfectionism  The fear of mistakes, failure and vulnerability  Fixed mindset versus growth mindset  The link between perfectionism and the brutal inner critic  How perfectionism can create burnout and an inability to switch off  Why control can become a childhood survival strategy  Learning to replace impossible standards with “I'm good enough” Using calm, mindfulness and self-compassion to change the pattern Drawing on Pete Walker's Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving and Emma Seppälä's The Happiness Track, Piers offers practical ways to begin loosening perfectionism.  

Join me as I talk about two main things that perfectionists are often obsessed about. They fixate on these two things quite often. Are you exhausted from constantly feeling “almost there, but never enough” in your walk with God? In this broadcast, I expose two hidden patterns that quietly drive Christian perfectionism—and how they wear […]

What if the love you crave most from other people is actually the love you've been withholding from yourself? In this episode, J-Go takes a fresh look at the five love languages and turns them inward, exploring what each one can teach us about the ways we practice (or sabotage) self-love. From negative self-talk and people-pleasing to putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own, avoiding alone time, isolating yourself, and struggling to celebrate your own milestones, she breaks down the patterns that can keep us from giving ourselves the very things we need most. Then, she goes one layer deeper: if we know what we need, why do we keep doing the opposite? Enter the inner mean girl. J-Go explores the different disguises self-sabotage can wear, including the ghoster, people pleaser, perfectionist, and hustler, and explains why that voice isn't actually trying to ruin your life. She's trying to keep you safe. The goal isn't to silence her forever, but to recognize when she's talking, question the stories she's telling you, and move her out of the driver's seat so you can choose where you're going next. This episode is an invitation to trade self-judgment for self-discovery and start showing yourself the love you're always looking for elsewhere. Questions for Self-Reflection Where are you withholding from yourself the love that you crave from other people? Where have you confused self-sacrifice with removing yourself from the list completely? Which version of your inner mean girl has been really loud lately? Once you get clear on that, ask yourself: What is she actually afraid of? Let those innermost fears come out. Then ask yourself: What is she trying to protect you from? Finally, where are you continually disappointing yourself because disappointing yourself feels safer than risking something uncomfortable?   In this episode: Turning the five love languages inward How your love language can reveal self-sabotage patterns Negative self-talk and learning to receive compliments Creating a "wins wall" and "fuzzy folder" Acts of service as a form of self-love Learning to ask for help and lean on your village Giving yourself intentional, distraction-free quality time Reconnecting with your body and your people Why receiving gifts can be about feeling seen and celebrated The difference between self-sacrifice and removing yourself from the list Understanding the inner mean girl The Ghoster, People Pleaser, Perfectionist, and Hustler Why self-sabotage often sounds reasonable Fear, comfort zones, and the self-sabotage loop Moving your inner mean girl from the driver's seat to the backseat Choosing self-discovery over self-judgment Learning to recognize fear without letting it make the decisions How self-awareness can help interrupt old patterns A deeper look at the work in Confidently Uncomfortable   KEEP HANGING WITH ME

Her bosses wanted her to shut up and do her work, says Cate of her mother's bosses, but that was not who Helen was.  Helen grew up in South Carolina, one of three children raised by a farming family. Her mother insisted she leave the farming life to her younger brothers and go to college. Within a few years, she was one of 5 women to graduate  from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Helen completed her teaching degree. Though she never taught in a classroom, she did teach her daughter that women are smart, they can work and raise children  at the same time. Helen got a second shot at life later on  and said "there's nothing you can't do at 60 that you can at 40." She embraced a new career and was attentive and  fond of her grandson. Because Helen struggled with being a perfectionist, she took motherhood very seriously, and felt its' confines.  Once she recognized that her daughter was a strong and confident woman, she could relax and enjoy life. Cate says about her mom "she had a wonderful personality and great fashion sense and people were drawn to her."                 "Should Have Listened To My Mother" is an ongoing conversation about mothers/female role models and the roles they play in our lives. Jackie's guests are open and honest and answer the question, are you who you are today because of, or in spite of, your mother and so much more. You'll be amazed at what the responses are.Gina Kunadian wrote this 5 Star review on Apple Podcast:SHLTMM TESTIMONIAL GINA KUNADIAN JUNE 18, 2024“A Heartfelt and Insightful Exploration of Maternal Love”Jackie Tantillo's “Should Have Listened To My Mother” Podcast is a treasure and it's clear why it's a 2023 People's Choice Podcast Award Nominee. This show delves into the profound impact mother and maternal role models have on our lives through personal stories and reflections.Each episode offers a chance to learn how different individuals have been shaped by their mothers' actions and words. Jackie skillfully guides these conversations, revealing why guests with similar backgrounds have forged different paths.This podcast is a collection of timeless stories that highlight the powerful role of maternal figures in our society. Whether your mother influenced you positively or you thrived despite challenges, this show resonates deeply.I highly recommend “Should Have Listened To My Mother” Podcast for its insightful, heartfelt and enriching content.Gina Kunadian"Should Have Listened To My Mother" would not be possible without the generosity, sincerity and insight from my guests. In 2018/2019, in getting ready to launch my podcast, so many were willing to give their time and share their personal stories of their relationship with their mother, for better or worse and what they learned from that maternal relationship. Some of my guests include Nationally and Internationally recognized authors, Journalists, Columbia University Professors, Health Practitioners, Scientists, Artists, Attorneys, Baritone Singer, Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist, Activists, Freighter Sea Captain, Film Production Manager, Professor of Writing Montclair State University, Attorney and family advocate @CUNY Law; NYC First Responder/NYC Firefighter, Child and Adult Special Needs Activist, Property Manager, Chefs, Self Help Advocates, therapists and so many more talented and insightful women and men.Jackie has worked in the broadcasting industry for over four decades. She has interviewed many fascinating people including musicians, celebrities, authors, activists, entrepreneurs, politicians and more.A big thank you goes to Ricky Soto, NYC based Graphic Designer, who created the logo for "Should Have Listened To My Mother".MORE INFORMATION ABOUT SHLTMM PODCAST:Link to website and show notes: https://shltmm.simplecast.com/ and https://www.jackietantillo.com/Or more demos of what's to come at https://soundcloud.com/jackie-tantillo Listen wherever you find podcasts: https://www.facebook.com/ShouldHaveListenedToMyMotherhttps://www.facebook.com/jackietantilloInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/shouldhavelistenedtomymother/https://www.instagram.com/jackietantillo7/LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-tantillo/YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@ShouldHaveListenedToMyMother

Since we are deep into Virgo season now, we are going to spend some time considering our inner perfectionist and inner critic this week. The virgo archetype is one that helps you get things right and get things done - but it can also take you too deep into a life that is too demanding. Are you feeling overwhelmed juggling everything right now? Are you clinging to perfectionism? Are you being too harsh on yourself? This week's practices will help you soften those edges, make some mistakes, and be more kind toward yourself. Tune in to begin.

Are you truly a procrastinator, or is perfectionism keeping you from moving forward? Dana unpacks why last-minute productivity can feel effective but also cause you more stress and decision fatigue. Dental hygiene students who find themselves in a rut of procrastination while preparing for exams and projects should take the time to self-reflect on this. Dana shares a practical framework built around breaking assignments into manageable "micro chunks" that create steady progress without sacrificing quality. Check out our episode on Dana's Number One Tip for Procrastinators in Dental Hygiene School for more: https://shows.acast.com/649b18ee9a383f0011828cbd/666cd44332663000123077fd.

Speed. Fearlessness. The ability to learn fast from your own mistakes. That's what the jungle demands from you. Most people are training for the classroom instead. In this episode I break down the difference between a classroom mentality and a jungle mentality, and why one of them is quietly wrecking your growth. The classroom trains you to look perfect, avoid being wrong, chase "correct." The jungle doesn't care about correct. It cares if you can adapt and survive. I use the wrestler mindset here. A wrestler in preseason puts himself in live positions on purpose, so he finds his weak spots before the season shows them to him the hard way. That's the work. Not looking good. Getting exposed early so you can fix it. I'll show you how to catch the classroom mentality showing up in your own life, usually disguised as procrastination. How to feel it in your body before your brain even names it. And the two questions that cut straight through it: what am I actually afraid of, and when did I learn to be afraid of that. Go to imnotyou.com/dominance to find out more about my new coaching program. 

In this little perfectionist styling session with the lovely Veronica, I'll be smoothing and styling her hair, trying on jewelry, making tiny adjustments and finding the perfect finishing touches. A shorter, simple real-person ASMR session filled with soft whispers and lots of careful attention.

If you know what to do to build your business but you can't get yourself to follow through on it, you've got to shift from Perfectionist Thinking to Powerful Thinking. When you think powerfully, you are able to complete what matters most for your business without procrastinating, overcomplicating or overthinking. In this episode I'm sharing examples of Powerful Thinking that have helped me and my clients build successful and fulfilling businesses. I also share why you don't need to think 'positively' in order to think powerfully, why Power Planning makes it easier to shift your thinking and what to do when your brain offers you a perfectionist thought instead of a powerful one. If you're a perfectionist and you're building a business, you want to listen to this episode today. If you want a little motivational boost from me in your inbox every day, you want to sign up for my daily Perfectionist Power-Up emails: samlaurabrown.com/ppu. If you're ready to become someone who consistently follows through on their plans without burning out, you want to join my coaching program Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD). It's for perfectionists who are building businesses. Sign up now and get started today at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.

You know, when you're tired, it's reflected in your voice, in your face, in your body language, in your attitude. It affects all areas of your life. So, it is something to consider and by God's grace to control in our lives. Otherwise, you can find yourself on a not-so-merry merry-go-round! First, let me assure you it’s okay to be tired. It's not necessarily a sin. Jesus was often tired while he was here on earth. You remember when he went to sleep on the boat and a terrible storm didn’t awaken him? He was tired. Have you ever been tired from traveling? You may see travel as exciting, which doesn’t sound like hard work, nonetheless travel can be very exhausting. We read in John 4 that Jesus was tired from a long journey. He understands that kind of tiredness. Sometimes having a lot of people around is tiring, isn’t it? As much as I enjoy being with people, speaking and getting to know new people, I find that after a time of being surrounded with people, I’m tired—not of people, just mentally and physically tired. I think there is abundant evidence that Jesus frequently grew tired from having so many people crowding around him all the time. He also grew weary from dealing with people who were not always so easy or pleasant to deal with. You can hear the exhaustion in his voice in Matthew 17:17: “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?” I think, like us, he was just tired of the hassle that people sometimes brought into his life. I’m not sure which is the most tiring—physical or mental exhaustion. But it’s for sure that as long as we are in these earthbound bodies, we will be tired and weary at times. Jesus was tired in body often and also tired mentally, just like you and me. It’s good to know that Jesus understands our tired bodies and minds, because he experienced all it while he took the form of man here on earth. He sympathizes with our weaknesses and the limitations we face. Just knowing that helps me a lot. Jesus was tired from bodily exhaustion because he was continually involved in giving his life for others. Giving of yourself to others' needs is tiring, both physically, mentally and emotionally. Is that why you’re tired today? Have you been doing and giving to others so much that you’re truly tired from it? That’s to be expected when you are a caregiver and a servant of others. Jesus calls us to a life of service, that's true, but he also understands it is tiring. You remember how exhausted Elijah was after his victorious encounter with Baal, where he performed mighty miracles of God and defeated the enemies. He was so tired, he wanted to die. You should expect to be tired and weary after a spiritual high. Maybe God has been using you in an unusual way, and you’ve seen God’s blessings on your life. Remember after those times to expect to feel tired and weary. There are many occasions in Scripture where we see the disciples tired. They were so tired that sometimes they fell asleep at inappropriate times. Our physical bodies have limitations, and we must understand and accept that they will be tired. But it's important to consider if you are tired for the wrong reasons. Have you been trying to be all things to all people lately? That’s exhausting and you can never succeed. Perhaps you’ve taken on jobs God never intended you to do, and you’re tired from trying to do too much. Maybe you’re trying to do everything to total perfection. Perfectionists are usually very tired people, trying to prove something to themselves and to the world by being perfect all the time. Lately God has been quietly showing me that there is only one Savior in this world, and it is not me! I cannot solve other's problems or concerns, as much as I may want to. Does that strike a chord with you? Are your overhelping and rescuing inclinations running on overdrive? It can happen even when your motivation and intentions are good. Our culture is in fast forward mode. Everything about us is geared for speed, and that is very tiring. You would think with all our modern conveniences today, life would be easier for us, and we’d be less tired. But it isn’t true, is it? Our time saving technology seems to have made us more tired. And then, let's face it, sometimes we are the guilty party, don't you agree? Do you find you are often your own worst enemy because you unnecessarily push yourself too far, too often. I remember when my daughter was a teenager, and we had chosen some new wallpaper for her room. It was lovely, and it was my intention to install the wallpaper that day. As I found myself rushed and stressed because I had decided it must be done that day, my daughter simply said, “Mom, we don't have to do it today.” I remember that moment because it was a new thought—to just stop and say, “I don't have to do this today.” I had set an unnecessary and unrealistic expectation of myself, causing unwarranted stress for my daughter and me. When you’re tired because of unrealistic expectations and pressures you put on yourself, it’s time to ask, “Why am I imposing these unrealistic expectations on myself?” Perhaps you need to take a red marker and get rid of a few items on your schedule. It’s easy to get our priorities confused, and that is very tiring. When you get the cart before the horse, you’ll find yourself in burn-out mode quite easily. Someone has said, “There’s always time to do God’s will,” and I think it’s true that God would never ask of us more than our bodies and minds can do without going into overload and burn-out. But when we confuse our priorities, it causes weariness and exhaustion. Let me say to you again what I so often have to say to myself: God has not called you to be a superwoman or superman. He is not asking you to do everything and do it perfectly. When Jesus was here on earth, he refused to do many things asked of him. He knew how to say “no.” Do you? There’s one principle which we see throughout Scripture that we need to understand, and that is that God has ordained periods of rest for us. The Old Testament law ensures that people took one day out of seven for absolute rest. He established the Year of Jubilee, when every seven years the land would be rested for one full year so it could refresh itself. God knows we must have periods of rest for tired bodies and minds. How about it? Have you been neglecting those needed rest periods? You may think you don’t have time for them, but the truth is, you can’t afford to neglect them. If you don’t make certain that your body has one in seven days to refresh, you’re going to discover you’re always tired. Another thing I notice in Scripture is we have to allow others to help us. In Exodus 17, we see a moment when Moses got tired. He was holding up his arms as the people of Israel fought the Amalekites. As long as he held up his arms, they won, but when he lowered his arms, the enemy won. However, Moses got tired trying to keep holding up his arms. So, we see in verse 12 that Aaron got on one side of Moses and Hur on the other, and they held his arms up for him. Moses had a job to do for God but he needed help. He grew tired doing God’s work. I have to confess that sometimes I have a wrong perception that I can abuse my body and ignore my needed rest as long as I’m doing God’s work. But God is teaching me his principles of needed rest apply, even when we’re involved in ministry for him. God wasn’t asking Moses to do it all by himself. He sent needed helpers alongside him. Maybe you’re trying to do it all by yourself today, and you need to ask for help. Or you might need to volunteer to walk alongside someone in ministry and tell them you’ll be glad to hold up their arms. Two principles about being tired: We must have rest periods—the equivalent of one day in seven—and we must share the workload. Many hands make light work, and how true it is that when we share the load, it’s so much easier. I know when I’m tired, I need encouragement. When someone is tired, that is not the time to offer advice or criticism or start making plans for the future. It is a time to simply encourage. So, I want to give you some encouragement. First, let me read a poem that really encourages me: Dear child, God does not say today, “Be strong;” He knows your strength is spent; He knows how long The road has been, how weary you have grown, For He who walked the earthly roads alone, Each bogging lowland, and each rugged hill, Can understand, and so He says, “Be still, And know that I am God.” The hour is late, And you must rest awhile, and you must wait Until life’s empty reservoirs fill up As slow rain fills an empty upturned cup. Hold up your cup, dear child, for God to fill. He only asks today that you be still.1 Grace Noll Crowell Are you tired and weary today? Just turn your empty cup to God. Admit your weariness; that’s a good place to start. And then start searching your mind, your schedule, and your lifestyle to see if you are causing some of this tiredness unnecessarily. Are you trying to be a super-person? Are you trying to do everything to total perfection? Have you never learned how to say “no”? Do you have some confused priorities which contribute to the problem? Are you always in rush mode? How about those rest periods? Do you make certain that you have times of rest for your body and mind? Take a good look at these areas in your life and confess to the Lord anything that needs to be changed. Then turn your empty cup up to him and ask him to fill it for you. Remember, he understands what it’s like to be tired; he’s been there, and he knows how to refresh you. And nothing can fill that cup like God’s Word, so let me give you some priceless treasures from the Bible right straight to your tired body and mind: Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:28-31). Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30). Nothing refreshes like God's Word; like simply sitting still and knowing that he is God. I know you have duties and responsibilities that cannot be ignored, but I remind you that perhaps you are often guilty of trying to do too much, reluctant to ask help from others. And when that happens, resentment and anger can start to build up in your heart. Then without realizing it, your service for others becomes a drudgery—a drain, a slog. And the joy of the Lord is gone, which means you lose the strength you need, and you are doubly tired. I encourage you to examine your priorities, your lifestyle, and your commitments. Make sure you are doing what God wants you to do, you're not trying to please everybody—because you can't—and you are resting in the knowledge that God will give you the strength you need to do his will. Sources: Grace Noll Crowell, “For One Who Is Tired.”  

Welcome to Episode 153 of The Perfectionist's Guide to Mothering!  Today I have the privilege of chatting with Dr. Ioana Popa. She is a national board-certified life and leadership coach, spiritual care provider, physician-psychiatrist, speaker and trainer, with a Master In Theology. She is the co-founder of Team For The Soul® and the host of the 'Thriving In Christ' podcast and Youtube show. Some of the resources we mention in this episode include:Dr. Ioana's Thriving in Christ Podcast/YouTube Show where I was a recent guest!Dr. Ioana's Daily Renewal BlueprintThe Lectio DivinaYou can connect with Dr. Ioana via:Her website: teamforthe soul.comLinkedInDon't forget that you can connect with me via:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My website: andreafortenberry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram: @andreafortenberry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Grab a copy of my book, Two-Minute Timeouts for New Moms*⁠*Affiliate Link

In this live broadcast, I open up about the emotional world of a perfectionist—the constant pressure, anxiety, shame, anger, and even the hidden disappointment and depression that so many of us carry but rarely know how to process. I share from my own journey as a recovering Christian perfectionist, unpacking how fight, flight, and freeze […]

Its been 16 years since the show premiered and what better day to release an episode discussing the pilot episode than on the anniversary of Alison's disappearance. My cousin introduced me to this show and it immediately grabbed my attention. It is 100% a teenage girl show, but it has murder, suspense, clues, lies, sex, and so much more. I highly recommend checking it out if you haven't yet watched the series. The show also had spin offs with Revenswood, The Perfectionist, and most recently Original Sin, which is more of a slasher.It has been one year since Alison, then the queen bee of the bunch, went missing. Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Emily have gone on with their lives, though they've grown apart. Now in high school, each girl finds herself facing a new set of challenges when anonymous text messages from `A' threaten to expose all of their secrets - both old secrets the girls were sure only Alison knew, and newer secrets developed after Alison's disappearance. Who is `A' and how does he or she know the things he or she knows? `Pretty Little Liars' is based on the series of novels by Sara Shepard."I'm back bitches and I know everything." - AHanna's Pink Drink:Ingredients1.5 oz of VodkaLa Croix (preferably a pink option)1.5 oz GrenadineDirectionsMix all the ingredients together in a shaker with ice.Pour into glass over ice and enjoy.PLL Drinking Rules (tvtropes.org and drinkiwiki.com):Drink when… (I'd recommend choosing 2-3 rules)Spencer gets that constipated lookSpencer and Melissa fight or one up each otherAria and Ezra almost get caughtMona says something bitchythe theme song playsall the girls wear a dressMelissa is being bitchythey are sitting in a classroomEmily kisses a girlHanna is shown in a fat suitAria has pink streaks in her hairMona is a dork in the flashbacksomeone mentions Spencer's mom is a lawyerAlison is in the episodethey read A's message together; Refill and drink again if it says bitchesany character diessomeone cries about somethingany of the girls wear normal clothes and not “couture”they mention The Jenna ThingA ends a message with "bitch", "bitches", or some variant thereof.A does something that should require psychic knowledge of the future.the girls do something stupid that gives A an advantage over them. (Also, when they tell a lie that gives A more to blackmail them with.)someone is framed for murder.whenever there is an Ezria scene.Spencer disses Hanna.Hanna gives a good reason for someone to diss her.they do something that you definitely shouldn't do if a creepy murderer is after you. (For example, when Emily and Paige go to a party in the middle of the woods)the girls go to a Halloween party and shit goes down.a creepy doll and/or mask shows up.a possible love interest of the liars acts shady in a potential team member kind of way.the liars break into (or out of) a place they should definitely not be able to break into (or out of) — like an asylum, a morgue, etc.Aria comes on screen with an accessory larger than your head.someone says "It's complicated."at least one of the girls have a cup of coffee either in their hands or on the table in front of them.Ezra/Toby/Caleb is shirtless.there is Spoby sex scene.a reaction shot lasts too long.Hanna starts a thought with "okay"As always, drink responsibly and with others. Follow and subscribe wherever you listen to the podcast. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at @Line_Drunk.

We please. We rescue. We perform. We hold everything together - until sometimes we disappear or reach for escape.But what if these familiar responses are not fixed identities? What if they are intelligent adaptations: ways we learned to secure safety, belonging, continuity or relief?Following last week's introduction to From Mask to Map, Ashley explores the Nine Adaptation Patterns at the heart of this developing body of work: the Pleaser, Rescuer, Performer, Chameleon, Strong One, Perfectionist, Controller, Vanisher and Escaper.Moving through the different ways we reach towards belonging, attempt to hold ourselves and the world together, or create distance from overwhelming intensity, Ashley considers the protective purpose, genuine strengths and present-day costs carried within each pattern.These are not diagnoses, personality types or nine new boxes in which to place ourselves. With careful attention to Neurodivergent Nuance, Ashley explores why the behaviour alone cannot reveal the whole pattern. Structure may be an essential accommodation rather than control. Solitude may be restoration rather than disappearance. Social fluency may be joyful expression rather than compulsory performance. What matters is the job the behaviour is performing, the freedom we have around it and the price we may now be paying.Ashley also returns to the work of Jungian analyst Dr James Hollis and his question of what, beyond survival, may be seeking expression through us as meaning and purpose.Through recollection, Shakespeare's “ravelled sleave of care” and the image of the Weaver, the episode becomes an invitation to gather every thread of our experience without mistaking any single pattern for the whole design.The episode closes with a brief guided practice, The Weaver and the Thread.The complete guided exploration of the Nine Adaptation Patterns - including discovering your own configuration and mapping the way forward - will be exclusive to the founding From Mask to Map group coaching and hypnotherapy cohort beginning on 15 September. The programme is fully online, limited to ten people and available worldwide, with replays provided for those unable to attend live.Spaces are still available. Visit integrativeiom.co.uk/from-mask-to-map for full details.Our Sponsors:

We please. We rescue. We perform. We hold everything together - until sometimes we disappear or reach for escape.But what if these familiar responses are not fixed identities? What if they are intelligent adaptations: ways we learned to secure safety, belonging, continuity or relief?Following last week's introduction to From Mask to Map, Ashley explores the Nine Adaptation Patterns at the heart of this developing body of work: the Pleaser, Rescuer, Performer, Chameleon, Strong One, Perfectionist, Controller, Vanisher and Escaper.Moving through the different ways we reach towards belonging, attempt to hold ourselves and the world together, or create distance from overwhelming intensity, Ashley considers the protective purpose, genuine strengths and present-day costs carried within each pattern.These are not diagnoses, personality types or nine new boxes in which to place ourselves. With careful attention to Neurodivergent Nuance, Ashley explores why the behaviour alone cannot reveal the whole pattern. Structure may be an essential accommodation rather than control. Solitude may be restoration rather than disappearance. Social fluency may be joyful expression rather than compulsory performance. What matters is the job the behaviour is performing, the freedom we have around it and the price we may now be paying.Ashley also returns to the work of Jungian analyst Dr James Hollis and his question of what, beyond survival, may be seeking expression through us as meaning and purpose.Through recollection, Shakespeare's “ravelled sleave of care” and the image of the Weaver, the episode becomes an invitation to gather every thread of our experience without mistaking any single pattern for the whole design.The episode closes with a brief guided practice, The Weaver and the Thread.The complete guided exploration of the Nine Adaptation Patterns - including discovering your own configuration and mapping the way forward - will be exclusive to the founding From Mask to Map group coaching and hypnotherapy cohort beginning on 15 September. The programme is fully online, limited to ten people and available worldwide, with replays provided for those unable to attend live.Spaces are still available. Visit integrativeiom.co.uk/from-mask-to-map for full details.Our Sponsors:

Do you have high standards, a strong sense of right and wrong - and an inner critic that rarely takes the day off? You may recognise some traits of Enneagram Type 1, often called the Perfectionist. Michelle Martin speaks with Cindy Leong, Founder of The Enneagram Academy, about what really drives Type 1s, why their desire to improve things can sometimes sound like criticism, and what they need from the people closest to them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So many believers deeply desire to live right before God, uphold strong values, and walk in holiness. Yet behind that sincere desire, there is often a hidden burden—an emotional and spiritual pressure that never lets you rest, never lets you feel “enough,” and never lets you simply be loved by God. This is the toxic […]

→ Joe says it at the very end of this one: the stuff that got hurt in groups is often best healed in groups. That's what the Connection Course offers a space for: https://yt.artofaccomplishment.com/rapid-coaching/perfectionism  In this session, a woman asks Joe how to stop being a perfectionist "for good" and he points out that the question itself is perfectionist. From there he opens it up. Follow along to learn what may be living beneath your perfectionism and how to meet it with more understanding. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to Episode 152 of The Perfectionist's Guide to Mothering!  Today I have the privilege of chatting with Lauren McLaughlin. Lauren is a wife and mom of three, and the founder of Change Up Kids, a portable changing room designed to give kidsdignity and privacy wherever life takes them. Driven by her faith and a deeply personal story, Lauren built her business with a mission that goes beyond the product. Through her work, she supports families on-the-go while donating a portion of every purchase to help fight child trafficking. Lauren is passionate about encouraging women to pursue God first, trust His timing, and walk boldly in both motherhood and their calling.Some of the resources we mention in this episode include:Change Up Kids Portable Changing RoomsAway Game: A Christian Parent's Guide to Navigating Youth Sports by Brian Smith and Ed Uszynski*Slow Burn: The Work and Wonder of the Wait by DawnChere Wilkerson*The Lie You Don't Know You Believe: How to Find It, Fight It, and Live Free by Jennie Allen*Procrastination Proof * by Jon Acuff⁠⁠How to Love Your Morning* by Jennifer Dukes LeeYou can connect with Lauren via:changeupkids.comInstagram: @change_up_kids_laurenDon't forget that you can connect with me via:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My website: andreafortenberry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram: @andreafortenberry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Grab a copy of my book, Two-Minute Timeouts for New Moms**Affiliate Link

Cultural studies of the nineteenth century often categorize their subjects as being motivated by one of two opposing notions: a wholehearted embrace of progress or an antimodernist nostalgia. A Perfectionist Impulse: The Art of Stopping Time in the Nineteenth Century (U Minnesota Press, 2026) centers a different kind of response to the period's newly intensified awareness of temporality and history: an obsession with preserving perfection. Engaging a diverse set of case studies, Dr. Ellery E. Foutch explores the era's desire to forestall the march of time and immortalize the fleeting moment through art and technology. Beginning with an investigation of artist and naturalist Titian Peale's butterfly illustrations and specimen boxes, Dr. Foutch assesses the implications of attempts to fix animal life in the “perfect state.” She then turns to Harvard's Ware Collection of Glass Flowers, botanical models meticulously crafted to serve as instructional tools but most famous internationally as a spectacle for tourists. Finally, she scrutinizes the period's preoccupation with the fragility of the human body, examining artistic representations of the legendary bodybuilder Eugen Sandow, widely known during his time as the “Perfect Man.” Highlighting the paradoxical way in which these attempts at preservation ultimately sap the vitality from the organic processes they seek to arrest, Dr. Foutch uses these curious objects to unpack a deep set of cultural anxieties around decay and death. By analyzing objects of mass culture and natural history using methods typically reserved for works of art, A Perfectionist Impulse provides a unique window into how nineteenth-century scientists, technologists, artists, and entertainers rendered a common desire for perfection and immortality. Itself a wondrous collection of attempts to capture the idealized moment, this extensively illustrated book serves as a shining example of our enduring fascination with the ephemeral. This interview was conducted by Dr. Miranda Melcher whose book focuses on post-conflict military integration, understanding treaty negotiation and implementation in civil war contexts, with qualitative analysis of the Angolan and Mozambican civil wars. You can find Miranda's interviews on New Books with Miranda Melcher, wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

Cultural studies of the nineteenth century often categorize their subjects as being motivated by one of two opposing notions: a wholehearted embrace of progress or an antimodernist nostalgia. A Perfectionist Impulse: The Art of Stopping Time in the Nineteenth Century (U Minnesota Press, 2026) centers a different kind of response to the period's newly intensified awareness of temporality and history: an obsession with preserving perfection. Engaging a diverse set of case studies, Dr. Ellery E. Foutch explores the era's desire to forestall the march of time and immortalize the fleeting moment through art and technology. Beginning with an investigation of artist and naturalist Titian Peale's butterfly illustrations and specimen boxes, Dr. Foutch assesses the implications of attempts to fix animal life in the “perfect state.” She then turns to Harvard's Ware Collection of Glass Flowers, botanical models meticulously crafted to serve as instructional tools but most famous internationally as a spectacle for tourists. Finally, she scrutinizes the period's preoccupation with the fragility of the human body, examining artistic representations of the legendary bodybuilder Eugen Sandow, widely known during his time as the “Perfect Man.” Highlighting the paradoxical way in which these attempts at preservation ultimately sap the vitality from the organic processes they seek to arrest, Dr. Foutch uses these curious objects to unpack a deep set of cultural anxieties around decay and death. By analyzing objects of mass culture and natural history using methods typically reserved for works of art, A Perfectionist Impulse provides a unique window into how nineteenth-century scientists, technologists, artists, and entertainers rendered a common desire for perfection and immortality. Itself a wondrous collection of attempts to capture the idealized moment, this extensively illustrated book serves as a shining example of our enduring fascination with the ephemeral. This interview was conducted by Dr. Miranda Melcher whose book focuses on post-conflict military integration, understanding treaty negotiation and implementation in civil war contexts, with qualitative analysis of the Angolan and Mozambican civil wars. You can find Miranda's interviews on New Books with Miranda Melcher, wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/film

Cultural studies of the nineteenth century often categorize their subjects as being motivated by one of two opposing notions: a wholehearted embrace of progress or an antimodernist nostalgia. A Perfectionist Impulse: The Art of Stopping Time in the Nineteenth Century (U Minnesota Press, 2026) centers a different kind of response to the period's newly intensified awareness of temporality and history: an obsession with preserving perfection. Engaging a diverse set of case studies, Dr. Ellery E. Foutch explores the era's desire to forestall the march of time and immortalize the fleeting moment through art and technology. Beginning with an investigation of artist and naturalist Titian Peale's butterfly illustrations and specimen boxes, Dr. Foutch assesses the implications of attempts to fix animal life in the “perfect state.” She then turns to Harvard's Ware Collection of Glass Flowers, botanical models meticulously crafted to serve as instructional tools but most famous internationally as a spectacle for tourists. Finally, she scrutinizes the period's preoccupation with the fragility of the human body, examining artistic representations of the legendary bodybuilder Eugen Sandow, widely known during his time as the “Perfect Man.” Highlighting the paradoxical way in which these attempts at preservation ultimately sap the vitality from the organic processes they seek to arrest, Dr. Foutch uses these curious objects to unpack a deep set of cultural anxieties around decay and death. By analyzing objects of mass culture and natural history using methods typically reserved for works of art, A Perfectionist Impulse provides a unique window into how nineteenth-century scientists, technologists, artists, and entertainers rendered a common desire for perfection and immortality. Itself a wondrous collection of attempts to capture the idealized moment, this extensively illustrated book serves as a shining example of our enduring fascination with the ephemeral. This interview was conducted by Dr. Miranda Melcher whose book focuses on post-conflict military integration, understanding treaty negotiation and implementation in civil war contexts, with qualitative analysis of the Angolan and Mozambican civil wars. You can find Miranda's interviews on New Books with Miranda Melcher, wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/art

Cultural studies of the nineteenth century often categorize their subjects as being motivated by one of two opposing notions: a wholehearted embrace of progress or an antimodernist nostalgia. A Perfectionist Impulse: The Art of Stopping Time in the Nineteenth Century (U Minnesota Press, 2026) centers a different kind of response to the period's newly intensified awareness of temporality and history: an obsession with preserving perfection. Engaging a diverse set of case studies, Dr. Ellery E. Foutch explores the era's desire to forestall the march of time and immortalize the fleeting moment through art and technology. Beginning with an investigation of artist and naturalist Titian Peale's butterfly illustrations and specimen boxes, Dr. Foutch assesses the implications of attempts to fix animal life in the “perfect state.” She then turns to Harvard's Ware Collection of Glass Flowers, botanical models meticulously crafted to serve as instructional tools but most famous internationally as a spectacle for tourists. Finally, she scrutinizes the period's preoccupation with the fragility of the human body, examining artistic representations of the legendary bodybuilder Eugen Sandow, widely known during his time as the “Perfect Man.” Highlighting the paradoxical way in which these attempts at preservation ultimately sap the vitality from the organic processes they seek to arrest, Dr. Foutch uses these curious objects to unpack a deep set of cultural anxieties around decay and death. By analyzing objects of mass culture and natural history using methods typically reserved for works of art, A Perfectionist Impulse provides a unique window into how nineteenth-century scientists, technologists, artists, and entertainers rendered a common desire for perfection and immortality. Itself a wondrous collection of attempts to capture the idealized moment, this extensively illustrated book serves as a shining example of our enduring fascination with the ephemeral. This interview was conducted by Dr. Miranda Melcher whose book focuses on post-conflict military integration, understanding treaty negotiation and implementation in civil war contexts, with qualitative analysis of the Angolan and Mozambican civil wars. You can find Miranda's interviews on New Books with Miranda Melcher, wherever you get your podcasts. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when caring about someone becomes fixing them, worrying about them, rescuing them—or feeling responsible for how their life turns out?In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, I explore enmeshment and the subtle ways we can lose ourselves by becoming overly focused on the people we love.I share how this pattern has shown up in my own relationships with my children through fixing, worrying, rescuing, and trying to prevent difficult outcomes.We'll talk about:What enmeshment actually looks likeWhy fixing, worrying, and rescuing can feel like loveHow the Inner Controller fuels over-involvementThe difference between support and rescueWhy being needed can become part of our identityHow to separate what belongs to us from what belongs to someone elseHow to remain connected without abandoning yourselfHealing enmeshment does not mean becoming detached or loving someone less.It means learning:I can care about you without carrying you.I can support you without controlling you.I can remain connected to you without disconnecting from myself.Because becoming free to be your true self also means allowing the people you love to be free to live their own lives.

Do you want to know how to break free from people-pleasing, procrastination and perfectionism? To do that there's one thing you need to understand about these 3 patterns... one thing all of them have in common.By getting this one thing these patterns will stop defining you and you will be able to see a real shift in your life.It is common to develop survival patterns when growing up with a narcissistic mother, actually it is nearly impossible not to. Learning that these patterns do not define you but can be shifted is a truly essential piece for your healing journey and recovering from maternal narcissistic abuse. Take the FREE assessment NOW to know which is your main coping pattern

Welcome to Episode 151 of The Perfectionist's Guide to Mothering! Today I'm talking all about my best back-to-school tips for moms. The resources I mention in this episode include:A Mom's Guide to Back to School: 20 pages of practical resources to help you and your kids thrive. Just $13 on my website. My book, Two-Minute Timeouts for New Moms: 100 Devotions for Weary and Wonderful Days*Theo of Golden* by Allen LeviE141: How to Love Your Morning with Jennifer Dukes LeeRemarkably Bright Creatures* by Shelby Van PeltProcrastination Proof * by Jon AcuffHow to Love Your Morning* by Jennifer Dukes LeeOne-Pan Burrito BowlsDon't forget that you can connect with me via:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My website: andreafortenberry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram: @andreafortenberry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠*Affiliate Link

Recognize the 7 Mind Types - How Top Performers Speak Their Customer's LanguageMost salespeople treat every customer the same way. They use one pitch. One approach. One way of communicating. And it doesn't work for everyone.The problem isn't you. The problem is you're not reading the person in front of you. You're not recognizing their mind type.Today Sam sits down with Ridgely Goldsborough, a serial entrepreneur who's started forty-five companies, authored twenty books, and was Jim Rohn's voice in Latin America for decades. In this episode, Ridgely teaches you how to recognize the seven different mind types so you can adapt your communication and close more deals.What You'll Learn:The seven mind types and how to spot them instantly. The Giver loves to make a difference. The Connector values trust above all else. The Problem Solver needs data to make sense of things. The Innovator always wants a better way. The Perfectionist does things right. The Rebel challenges everything. The Master wants depth. Each one is wired differently. Each one communicates differently.Why knowing someone's mind type changes everything. Once you know their mind type, you know their communication keywords. Use those words and they respond as strongly as they respond to their own name. That builds trust. That closes deals.How each mind type has a superpower and a kryptonite. The Giver's superpower is causes. Their kryptonite is overcommitment. The Connector's superpower is trust. Their kryptonite is waste. The Problem Solver's superpower is solutions. Their kryptonite is paralysis when they don't have enough data. Every mind type is exceptional at something and struggles with something else. Knowing yours means you can play to your strength and manage your weakness.Why people who think like you are easy to work with, and why everyone else is difficult. When you don't understand someone's mind type, you clash. The Giver overwhelms the Connector. The Problem Solver frustrates the Innovator. The Perfectionist stifles the Rebel. But when you understand each other's mind type, everything changes.How your personal philosophy shapes which mind type you are. What you read, listen to, watch, and who you hang around with forges who you become. That determines your mind type. That determines how you communicate. That determines your results.Potential beats talent every single time. Someone twenty percent good making one hundred calls talks to twenty people. Someone fifty percent good making ten calls talks to five. Effort beats talent. Volume beats skill. The person willing to work is the person who wins.Why This Matters:If you're struggling to close deals, you probably already know how to sell. The problem is you're not reading the person in front of you. You're using the wrong approach for the wrong mind type. This episode teaches you to recognize the seven mind types so you can adapt your communication instantly. That skill changes your close rate.About Ridgely Goldsborough:Serial entrepreneur who's started forty-five companies. Author of twenty books. Studied alongside Jim Rohn as his voice in Latin America. Two master's degrees. Studied Buddhism, personal development, and human psychology. Now runs Local Market Dominator, helping contractors and home service businesses get found online and convert prospects into customers.Ridgely's Resources:Mind Types Framework and Communication Keywords List: Search "Mind Types" online or email Sam at sam@closeitnow.net and he'll send you everything Ridgely has created.Free AI and Online Visibility Audit: Go to https://www.localmarketdominator.com. Understand how people are finding you online and what happens when they do. Ridgely offers free audits on traffic and conversion for any business.Work with Sam:Website: https://www.closeitnow.netCoaching and training: https://www.closeitnow.net/coachingFacebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/closeitnowEmail: sam@closeitnow.netBook a call: https://calendar.app.google/KZH1j2Q1MAXTKbT38Three Ways to Work with Sam:One: On-site training. Half-day classroom plus half-day ride-alongs with your team.Two: Virtual training. Same frameworks, delivered remotely for teams or individuals.Three: The Build. Company scaling partnership with Doug C. Brown. You built the revenue. We help you build the business.Leave a Review:Five-star review on Apple Podcasts gets you a free one-hour coaching session with Sam. Message Sam with your review and you're in.Google Review Link: https://g.page/r/CbfnnDqTCwQdEAE/review

How many times have you said, “Whatever you want is fine,” when it was not actually fine?Losing yourself in a relationship rarely happens through one dramatic act of self-betrayal. It happens through small moments when you silence an opinion, minimize a feeling, ignore a need, or become responsible for someone else's happiness.You may believe you are being flexible, loving, or easygoing. But over time, these seemingly harmless choices can leave you feeling invisible, resentful, and unsure of who you are outside the relationship.In this episode of Masks Off: Inner Freedom for People Pleasers and Perfectionists, Kim explores:The subtle signs of self-abandonmentWhy people pleasers become highly attuned to other people's reactionsThe difference between compromise and disappearingHow childhood relationship patterns follow us into adulthoodWhy the Inner Controller believes it must manage connectionHow to begin hearing your own truth againOne small practice for staying connected to yourselfYou do not need to stop caring about other people. You are learning that loving someone does not require leaving yourself behind.

Betty Buckley is a legendary, multi-award-winning actress/singer whose career spans theater, film, television and concert halls around the world. She is a 2012 Theatre Hall of Fame inductee and the 2017 recipient of  the Julie Harris Awards from The Actor's Fund for Artistic Achievement and received The Lifetime Achievement Award from The American Songbook Association in 2023. She won a Tony Award for her performance as Grizabella, the Glamour Cat, in Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats and received her second Tony Award nomination for Best Actress in a musical for her performance as Hesione in Triumph of Love. She received an Olivier Award nomination for her critically acclaimed interpretation of Norma Desmond in the London production of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Sunset Boulevard, which she repeated to more rave reviews on Broadway. Ms. Buckley is featured in the film By Design, written and directed by Amanda Kramer, and it made its debut at The Sundance Film Festival in January 2025. She is also featured in the film Eternity for A24 Studios, starring Miles Teller and Elizabeth Olsen, released in November 2025. In March 2024, she co-starred in Imaginary for Blumhouse Productions and released by Lionsgate. She co-starred with James McAvoy in the M. Night Shyamalan hit film Split, one of the top international box office hits of 2017. She received a Saturn Award Nomination for Best Featured Actress for her work in the film. Her other films include her debut in Brian de Palma's screen version of Stephen King's Carrie, Bruce Beresford's Tender Mercies, Roman Polanski's Frantic, Woody Allen's Another Woman, Lawrence Kasdan's  Wyatt Earp and M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. In 2024, The Mayfly, an animated short film written, produced and narrated by Ms. Buckley played the film festival circuit and won several awards, including Best of Festival, Best Director and Best 2D Character Based Animation at The Los Angeles Animation Festival. The film also won Best Animation at The Lady Filmmakers Festival in Los Angeles. A love letter to New York City and music, The Mayfly is a lyrical tale that was inspired by a true event at the Café Carlyle, with a score composed by seven-time GRAMMY® nominee Christian Jacob. Her other Broadway credits include 1776, Pippin, Song and Dance, The Mystery of Edwin Drood and Carrie. She headlined the first National Tour of the new Broadway production of Hello, Dolly! in 2018/2019. Off-Broadway credits include the world premiere of Horton Foote's The Old Friends, for which she received  a Drama Desk Nomination in 2014, White Lies, Lincoln Center's Elegies, the original NYSF production of The Mystery of Edwin Drood, The Eros Trilogy, Juno's Swans. Getting My Act Together and Taking It On  The Road. Regional credits include The Perfectionist, Gypsy, The Threepenny Opera, Camino Real, Buffalo  Gal, Arsenic and Old Lace, The Old Friends at Houston's Alley Theatre and Grey Gardens at the Bay Street Theatre in Sag Harbor, NY and The Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles in 2016 for which she received an Ovation Award Nomination. In London, she starred in Promises, Promises for which she was nominated for An Evening Standard Award and in the 2013 British premiere of Dear World. On television, Buckley had a recurring role on Law & Order SVU for NBC. She co-starred in the third season  of AMC's hit series Preacher and has guest starred on the Fox/Warner Bros. TV shows: The Cleaning Lady, The CW hit Supergirl, the NBC Series Chicago Med and ABC Family's Pretty Little Liars. For HBO, she has appeared on Getting On, The Leftovers, The Pacific and for three seasons had a recurring role on OZ. She  starred as Abby Bradford in the hit series Eight is Enough. For more information, visit www.bettybuckley.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's one thing that every perfectionist entrepreneur must learn if they want to succeed in business: how to create a growth mindset. This is the secret to being able to get out of your own way and take consistent action to your goals without burning out.  So in this episode I'm doing a deep dive into what the growth mindset is, common misconceptions about the growth mindset as well as the practical steps to create a growth mindset. This is the episode on perfectionism and the growth mindset that I wish existed when I was struggling to build my business to six figures and wondering why I felt so scared to put myself out there.  If you are finding that overthinking, procrastination, burnout and fear of judgement are making it hard to build your business - this episode is for you. If you're ready to get out of your own way in your business, you want to join my coaching program Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (PGSD). Sign up now at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. If you want a little motivational boost from me in your inbox every day, you need to sign up for my daily Perfectionist Power-Up emails: samlaurabrown.com/ppu.  

Move on from the inner critic and beat perfectionism without lowering your standards. Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who helps people calm their anxiety and be their authentic self. She serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of HOW TO BE ENOUGH: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists and HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. You can find her on Substack at How to Be Good to Yourself When You're Hard on Yourself. This episode originally aired in 2025.  In this episode we talk about: The relationship between perfectionism and anxiety The definition of perfectionism––and why the word is actually a misnomer Dr. Hendriksen's own struggles with perfectionism, and how they manifested physically The difference between healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism Changing your relationship with your inner critic  Shifting from rigid rules to flexibility Keeping high standards while making room for mistakes Overcoming procrastination Navigating social comparison And much more Related Episodes: Strategies for Social Anxiety | Ellen Hendriksen The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross  How To Move Into The Future With Optimism Instead Of Anxiety | Frederik Pferdt Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

In this episode of the 2 Be Better Podcast, we explore how the way we parent shapes a child's nervous system, emotional regulation, self esteem, and future relationships. Using the concept of **Control Dramas**, inspired by *The Celestine Prophecy* and expanded through modern psychology, attachment theory, and real world coaching experience, we break down the hidden parenting patterns that quietly influence children for decades. We cover the original four Control Dramas, the Intimidator, Interrogator, Aloof, and Poor Me parent, along with five additional parenting patterns we believe deserve attention, including the Rescuer, Charmer, Gaslighter, Competitor, and Perfectionist.Whether you're raising young children, healing from your own childhood, or trying to become a more emotionally healthy parent, this conversation will help you recognize unconscious family dynamics before they become generational patterns. We discuss attachment styles, nervous system development, emotional safety, trauma, parenting mistakes, emotional intelligence, and practical ways to break unhealthy cycles while building stronger relationships with your children. If you're interested in parenting, psychology, self improvement, personal development, emotional healing, or creating a healthier family, this episode will give you powerful insights that can change the way you see both yourself and your role as a parent.Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) — Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: ⁠https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join⁠ Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes and learn more at:⁠ OLDPodcast.com⁠. Episode 4079: Joshua Fields Millburn reflects on the exhausting pursuit of perfection and the freedom that comes from embracing flaws as opportunities for growth. By shifting attention from impossible standards to meaningful progress in health, relationships, and work, he reveals why imperfection is often the catalyst for a more fulfilling life. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.theminimalists.com/perfectionist/ Quotes to ponder: "Every area of life is filled with imperfection, but we needn't neurose over every blemish." "People are, by nature, imperfect. We come equipped with a tackle box of flaws." "Contentment comes from within, not from the entrapment of protruding hipbones or the bling-bling of consumer purchases." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

⁠⁠⁠LEARN HOW TO JOURNALSPEAK In this episode, I'm joined by Béa Albina, nurse practitioner, somatic practitioner, and the author and creator of Emotional Outsourcing, for a conversation that gets right to the heart of why so many of us abandon ourselves in the name of being good, helpful, agreeable, easy, impressive, or needed. Béa defines emotional outsourcing as the chronic habit of sourcing our safety, belonging, and worth from everyone and everything outside of ourselves, instead of from within, and we unpack how deeply this pattern can become wired into the nervous system. For so many of us, especially women raised inside cultural expectations to be pleasant, useful, low-maintenance, and not “too much,” people pleasing and codependency were not personality flaws. They were survival strategies. This conversation is such an important bridge between the emotional life and the body. We talk about the way chronic self-abandonment, resentment, perfectionism, hypervigilance, and the constant scanning of other people's moods can create a fertile environment for symptoms, anxiety, and nervous system dysregulation. Béa and I explore why awareness is the first doorway into healing, how somatic practices help us come back into relationship with ourselves, and why the smallest “newborn kitten steps” can be the beginning of profound change. We also talk about boundaries, self-compassion, the power of intentional language, and what it really means to stop outsourcing your sense of worth and begin building safety inside your own body. In this episode, we discuss emotional outsourcing as a new way to understand codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing; why women are so often conditioned to disconnect from their needs in order to stay loved and accepted; how the nervous system learns to prioritize everyone else's comfort over internal stability; the connection between self-silencing, resentment, chronic symptoms, and emotional repression; why somatic awareness and JournalSpeak are so aligned; how to begin asking the body what it needs; why boundaries are not about controlling other people but about deciding how we will take care of ourselves; and how self-compassion becomes the foundation for real healing instead of just another thing we try to perform perfectly. Béa's work is compassionate, practical, funny, deeply intelligent, and beautifully aligned with the core message of this podcast: you are not broken, your body is not betraying you, and the patterns that once protected you can be understood, softened, and changed. This is a conversation about coming home to yourself, not in a cheesy way, but in the most biologically necessary way. Because when we stop living as if everyone else gets to decide whether we are safe, lovable, and worthy, the nervous system finally has a chance to exhale. Where to find Béa: Listen to her podcast, Feminist Wellness, read her book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist and People-Pleasing Habits, and find her on social media under her full name, Beatriz Victoria Albina NP. Lisa and I will be teaching at ⁠⁠Miraval Austin from September 25–27 ⁠⁠for a relaxing, immersive retreat experience rooted in this work. You can learn more by visiting ⁠⁠www.NicoleSachs.com⁠⁠ and clicking the Retreats tab. Find me at ⁠⁠www.NicoleSachs.com⁠⁠, on Instagram ⁠⁠@nicolesachslcsw⁠⁠, and inside my ⁠⁠Heal with Nicole community⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEW SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! So excited about this one :)) Want your questions answered directly by me?

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 4064: Paula Davis-Laack explains how burnout develops through chronic stress, exhaustion, cynicism, and feelings of inefficacy, often fueled by perfectionism, mental clutter, and relentless overwork. She shares practical, research-backed strategies to build resilience, manage energy more effectively, reshape work responsibilities, and create a sustainable path to long-term success and well-being. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://livehappy.com/5-expert-tips-for-avoiding-burnout-at-work/ Quotes to ponder: "Burnout is a process of chronic stress and disengagement typically related to work but can impact many areas of your life." "Perfectionists strive for “the best” even when “good enough” will do." "Getting adequate opportunities for recovery during your workday, after work and on the weekend is critical." Episode references: Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant: https://www.amazon.com/Give-Take-Helping-Others-Success/dp/0143124986 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Freedom Live is a 3-day live experience in Austin for high performers ready to break through the patterns, beliefs, and identity blocks keeping them from the next level. Join the waitlist: https://freedomwaitlist.com/ Feeling stuck? It's time to take back control. If you're ready to master your mind and create real, lasting change, click the link below and start transforming your life today.