Pretty Pretty Podcast

What if feeling your feelings didn't mean falling apart — but actually gave you more control, not less? If white knuckling or pushing through is the best way you know how to feel your feelings. You're not alone.Discover the hidden mistake keeping perfectionists stuck feeling on edge, why you can never outthink your feelings and the right way to feel your feelings.Want to bring rewiring into your reality? Where being confident, certain and playful is just how you roll? Perfectionist Solutions 1-1 coaching is your next step.Mentioned In Episode 254:Perfectionism Optimized 1 to 1 coachingPerfectionismRewired.comOther helpful podcast episodes in this series on How Your Brain Actually Works:Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 253Timestamps:00:00-Your thoughts create your feelings LIE #101:53-Can't Feel Your Feelings Without This04:14-Knowing how your brain actually works05:24-"What is Wrong With Me?" Explained06:37-Feelings Are Psychological LIE #207:16-Feelings are Emotions LIE #308:56-Where Feelings Actually Come From10:08-How Depersonalizing Feelings = Freedom12:46-Turning Mom Meltdown Moments Around (Manon's Story)14:35-How To Control Your Feelings16:01-Rational Thinking + Decisions LIE #417:32-Striving For Excellence Without Pushing Through18:29-What Your Person Account Has To Do With Feelings19:41-How To Identify Your Feelings Fast21:12-How To Feel Your Feelings Visual Tool22:33-Why Meditation + Deep Breaths Don't Always Work23:58-Thoughts Drive Your Feelings LIES #525:57-Perspectacles How Feelings Shape Your Perceptions28:37-Turning Your Mood into Useful Fuel30:07-Where Sense Data Fits Into The EquationHow To Feel Your Feelings Q&AQ: Why does “changing my thoughts” never changes my feelings—especially as a perfectionist?
A: This episode breaks down the myth that thoughts drive feelings (hint: it's the other way around!). Discover why “thought work” is a torture device for perfectionidtic people and how the “CTFAR Model” does not actually work for any human with a brainQ: What's really going on when I'm overwhelmed by emotions even if everything looks fine on the outside?
A: You'll learn the neuroscientific difference between feelings and emotions, plus why this distinction puts an to the cycle of overthinking feelings and asking “what is wrong with me”Q: What's the biggest misconception high-achievers have about feelings?
A: Most of us have a totally backward understanding of where feelings come from (and it's not just psychological!). Courtney reveals the real, science-backed answer.Q: How can I feel my feelings without getting “lost” in them or falling apart?
A: Tune in for a client success story and discover a practical tool—the “mood meter”—to help you regain control and function, even on tough days.Q: Does thinking rationally mean I can escape feelings?
A: Logic and rationality can't bypass feelings. Find out why every decision (yes, even the “rational” ones!) are shaped by your mood — and how to use this knowledge to your advantage.Q: What's one quick, practical tweak I can use to feel better fast?
A: Courtney shares micro-strategies (think 30 seconds to 3 minutes) you can use right away to change your mood—and your experience.Highly Credible Resources Cited in this EpisodeBar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: memory for predictions. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences*, *364*(1521), 1235–1243. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0310Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Barrett, L. F. (2006). Valence is a basic building block of emotional life. Journal of Research in Personality, 40(1), 35–55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2005.08.006Barrett, L. F. (2016). The theory of constructed emotion: an active inference account of interoception and categorization. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, nsw154. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsw154Barrett, L. F., & Bar, M. (2009). See it with feeling: affective predictions during object perception. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1325–1334. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0312Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you're feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion, 15(6), 713–724. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930143000239Barrett, L. F., & Russell, J. A. (1999). The Structure of Current Affect. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8(1), 10–14. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.00003Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. *Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience*, *15*(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951Cesario, J., Johnson, D. J., & Eisthen, H. L. (2020). Your Brain Is Not an Onion With a Tiny Reptile Inside. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 29(3), 255–260. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721420917687‌Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. *Behavioral and Brain Sciences*, *36*(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477Gendron, M., Lindquist, K. A., Barsalou, L., & Barrett, L. F. (2012). Emotion words shape emotion percepts. Emotion, 12(2), 314–325. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026007Hoemann, K., Gendron, M., & Barrett, L. F. (2022). Assessing the Power of Words to Facilitate Emotion Category Learning. Affective Science, 3(1), 69–80. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-021-00084-4Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans. Nature Human Behaviour, 1(5). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0069Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2023). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. *Personality neuroscience*, *5*, e12. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3Sullivan, W. T. (1990). Outward Searchers: SETI Pioneers . Scientists Talk about Their Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. DAVID W. SWIFT. University of Arizona Press, Tucson, 1990. xiv, 436 pp., illus. $35. Science, 250(4978), 303–303. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.250.4978.303-a Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

You're doing everything right. You're ambitious, successful + driven. So why is it your energy is nonexistent, patience is razor-thin + your mind can't stop overthinking? If your days are starting with dread and ending in exhaustion — this episode is your wake-up call. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or accessing your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire In this Episode You'll Learn:How pushing through dewires your brain into survival modeWhat caffeine, people pleasing + Top Ramen have in common16 surprising signs your brain is starvingWhy ruminating and indecisiveness are symptoms—not problems to solveHow a healthy Person Account™ allows you to access your abilities in a way burnt out you could never compete with Resources Mentioned In Episode 253:Recharge your Person Account Book your Perfect Start 1:1 session nowMagic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250Neuroplasticity  [Neuroscience Series #4] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 251#1 Thing Stops Perfectionists From Growth [Neuroscience Series #5] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 252  TIMESTAMPS:02:09-Why Perfectionists Need More Fuel for Our Brains04:10-MYTH: You Have to Stop Being a Perfectionist06:24-Clues You're on the Path to Chronic Stress09:32-Burn Out is Not the Price of Ambition10:25-Case Study: How Stacey found Clarity, Energy, Peace12:43-I Ruminate Over Decisions bc I Need to Make the Right Decision14:05-Why You're Choosing Instant Relief (and Paying Later)16:11-A Healthy Person Account™ = Liberation17:32-How to Always Know How Your Person Account™ is Doing  Citations/Sources:Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Barrett, L. F., Quigley, K. S., & Hamilton, P. (2016). An active inference theory of allostasis and interoception in depression. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences*, *371*(1708), 20160011. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2016.0011Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.1159/000523723Ganzel, B. L., & Morris, P. A. (2011). Allostasis and the developing human brain: Explicit consideration of implicit models. Development and Psychopathology, 23(4), 955–974. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579411000447‌Guidi, J., Lucente, M., Sonino, N., & Fava, Giovanni A. (2020). Allostatic Load and Its Impact on Health: A Systematic Review. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 90(1), 11–27. https://doi.org/10.1159/000510696Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans. Nature Human Behaviour, 1(5). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0069Knezevic, E., Katarina Nenic, Milanovic, V., & Knezevic, N. N. (2023). The Role of Cortisol in Chronic Stress, Neurodegenerative Diseases, and Psychological Disorders. Cells, 12(23), 2726–2726. https://doi.org/10.3390/cells12232726‌McEwen, B. S., & Gianaros, P. J. (2011). Stress- and Allostasis-Induced Brain Plasticity. Annual Review of Medicine, 62(1), 431–445. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-med-052209-100430 Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Feel like you're working hard but not seeing the progress you want? It's NOT YOU or your PERFECTIONISM – it's your Person Account™ . Discover my proprietary framework that's changing the game for Perfectionist Solution's clients, and will do the same for you.  In this Episode You'll Learn:How ruminating + running a 10k impact you the exact same wayWhy perfectionist brains work overtime + cost more to operateHow to tell if you're operating in a constant state of depletion without realizing itWhat Cortisol actually is (it's NOT a STRESS HORMONE)The hidden reason therapy + personal development don't work On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire Resources Mentioned In Episode 252:Perfect Start SessionMagic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250  TIMESTAMPS:0:53-Why You're Not Making Progress Despite Trying Harder02:15-Allostasis: How Your Brain Allocates05:07-The Hidden Reason Therapy Isn't Working06:30-Why Perfectionist Brains Cost More to Operate07:25-Living in a Depleted State Without Realizing It09:31-Stressed out: Eustress vs. Distress10:29-Truth about Cortisol + Stress Response12:35-The Slow Drip of Perfectionist Burnout15:17-How to Tell if You're Running on Empty  Citations/Sources:Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Bobba-Alves, N., Juster, R.-P., & Picard, M. (2022). The energetic cost of allostasis and allostatic load. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 146, 105951. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2022.105951Dwyer, P. (2022). The Neurodiversity Approach(es): What Are They and What Do They Mean for Researchers? Human Development, 66(2), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.1159/000523723Ganzel, B. L., & Morris, P. A. (2011). Allostasis and the developing human brain: Explicit consideration of implicit models. Development and Psychopathology, 23(4), 955–974. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579411000447‌Guidi, J., Lucente, M., Sonino, N., & Fava, Giovanni A. (2020). Allostatic Load and Its Impact on Health: A Systematic Review. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 90(1), 11–27. https://doi.org/10.1159/000510696Kleckner, I. R., Zhang, J., Touroutoglou, A., Chanes, L., Xia, C., Simmons, W. K., Quigley, K. S., Dickerson, B. C., & Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). Evidence for a large-scale brain system supporting allostasis and interoception in humans. Nature Human Behaviour, 1(5). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-017-0069Knezevic, E., Katarina Nenic, Milanovic, V., & Knezevic, N. N. (2023). The Role of Cortisol in Chronic Stress, Neurodegenerative Diseases, and Psychological Disorders. Cells, 12(23), 2726–2726. https://doi.org/10.3390/cells12232726‌McEwen, B. S., & Gianaros, P. J. (2011). Stress- and Allostasis-Induced Brain Plasticity. Annual Review of Medicine, 62(1), 431–445. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-med-052209-100430 Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire In this Episode You'll Learn:How neuroplasticity works and why it's crucial for perfectionistsThe surprising difference in brain flexibility before and after age 45Real-life coaching breakthroughs that prove brain rewiring is possibleWhy *use it or lose it* is the key to changing perfectionist tendenciesThe fastest way to stop rumination, self-doubt and overanalyzing mistakes Resources Mentioned In Episode 251:Take your first step in rewiring Perfect Start Introductory SessionMagic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249Can't Stop Ruminating? Here's Why [Neuroscience Series #3] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 250 TIMESTAMPS:00:00-Why Age 45 Is a Brain Plasticity Tipping Point01:07-Analogy for what is neuroplasticity02:52-Rewire your brain with Perfect Start Session05:29-Framework for Rewiring Perfectionism Inside Out06:10-Transformative Effects of Cognitive Flexibility Citations/Sources:Cramer, S. C., Sur, M., Dobkin, B. H., C. O'Brien, Sanger, T. D., Trojanowski, J. Q., … Haber, S. (2011). Harnessing neuroplasticity for clinical applications. Brain, 134(6), 1591–1609. https://doi.org/10.1093/brain/awr039Fuchs, E., & Flügge, G. (2014). Adult Neuroplasticity: More Than 40 Years of Research. Neural Plasticity, 2014, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1155/2014/541870Green, C. S., & Bavelier, D. (2008). Exercising your brain: A review of human brain plasticity and training-induced learning. Psychology and Aging, 23(4), 692–701. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014345Isheqlou, L.K., Soltanlou, M., Zarean, M., Saeedi, M.T. and Heysieattalab, S. (2023). Feedback-related negativity in perfectionists: An index of performance outcome evaluation. Behavioural Brain Research, 444, 114358–114358. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbr.2023.114358Petersen, J., Ong, C. W., Hancock, A. S., Gillam, R. B., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). An Examination of the Relationship Between Perfectionism and Neurological Functioning. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 35(3), 195–211. https://doi.org/10.1891/jcpsy-d-20-00037‌ Perfectionism Rewired is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, neuroplasticity + interoception techniques for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create instead of obsolete advice to "overcome your perfectionism"

"Part of the reason I stay super busy is bc if I stop to rest l'll ruminate. And if I ruminate, I start spiraling. And if I spiraling I'm like a nosediving plane" Sound familiar? Discover the ANSWER to WHY you get stuck in your most annoying perfectionist tendencies, like ruminating, catastrophizing, overthinking every small mistake etc. Plus the 6 reasons your perfectionist brain holds on to outdated habits,  how chronic stress impacts your brain's ability to change, the role of back and white thinking in reinforcing unhelpful neural pathways, why past experiences trick your brain into seeing danger everywhere and how to stop your worries from becoming self-fulfilling prophecies.  On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:00:00–How to finally take charge of ruminating02:16–Missed the last episode? Here's a quick recap04:06–What happens when your brain gets it wrong06:09–Why perfectionist brains resists learning from mistakes07:40–6 sneaky reasons your brain ignores new info08:23–How chronic stress keeps your brain stuck10:20–Why your brain clings to old patterns11:42–The hidden reason you avoid discomfort12:51–When your brain blows things out of proportion13:49–How black-and-white thinking is like wearing blinders15:19–Why past experiences warp your reactions19:34–How to update your brain so you can get unstuck21:09–One small shift to start seeing change today The first step in rewiring Resources Mentioned In Episode 250:Take your first step in rewiring Perfect Start Introductory SessionMagic Skill for Control of Emotions [Neuroscience Series #1] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 248How Perfectionist Brain *Actually* Works [Neuroscience Series #2] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 249When Taking A Few Deep Breaths Isn't Enough Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 192Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193 Citations/Sources:Bar, M. (2009). The proactive brain: memory for predictions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B Biological Sciences, 364(1521), 1235–1243. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2008.0310Barrett, L. F., & Simmons, W. K. (2015). Interoceptive predictions in the brain. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 16(7), 419–429. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3950Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4Clark, A. (2013). Whatever next? Predictive brains, situated agents, and the future of cognitive science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 36(3), 181–204. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0140525x12000477Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3Lital Yosopov, Saklofske, D. H., Smith, M. M., Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2024). Failure Sensitivity in Perfectionism and Procrastination: Fear of Failure and Overgeneralization of Failure as Mediators of Traits and Cognitions. Journal of Psychoeducational Assessment, 42(6), 705–724. https://doi.org/10.1177/07342829241249784Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2022). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality Neuroscience, 5. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3‌McNally, G. P., Johansen, J. P., & Blair, H. T. (2011). Placing prediction into the fear circuit. *Trends in Neurosciences*, *34*(6), 283–292. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tins.2011.03.005‌Meyer, A., & Wissemann, K. (2020). Controlling parenting and perfectionism is associated with an increased error-related negativity (ERN) in young adults. *Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience*, *15*(1), 87–95. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsaa018‌Roy, M., Shohamy, D., Daw, N., Jepma, M., Wimmer, G. E., & Wager, T. D. (2014). Representation of aversive prediction errors in the human periaqueductal gray. *Nature Neuroscience*, *17*(11), 1607–1612. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3832‌ Perfectionism Rewired is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, neuroplasticity + interoception techniques for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create instead of obsolete advice to "overcome your perfectionism"

Discover the inner workings of your perfectionist brain—how it predicts, perceives and often distorts your reality. Uncover how being super rigid, overly controlling, excessively checking your email, constantly seeking reassurance, people pleasing, over-preparing — and why these are signs your perfectionistic brain is misfiring. Plus, learn the neuroscience-backed solution to take charge of your perfectionism instead of letting it rule you. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:00:00-What Makes Perfectionistic Brains Unique04:02-How The Brain Works
07:32-Neuroscience Behind Overthinking
09:25-Catastrophizing Your Way to Chronic Stress
10:37-Ruminate + 11 Signs Using Your Brain Incorrectly11:58-Neuroplasticy to rewire the brain14:03-What Gets In The Way of Rewiring15:59-Black + White Thinking Resources Mentioned In Episode 249:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionCatastrophizing Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 188Catastrophize. Ruminate. Overthink. Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 216Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193 Citations/Sources:Braem, S., Coenen, E., Klaas Bombeke, Bochove, van, & Wim Notebaert. (2015). Open your eyes for prediction errors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 15(2), 374–380. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-014-0333-4Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98Mattes, A., Mück, M., & Stahl, J. (2022). Perfectionism-related variations in error processing in a task with increased response selection complexity. Personality Neuroscience, 5. https://doi.org/10.1017/pen.2022.3‌‌ Perfectionism Rewired is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, neuroplasticity + interoception techniques for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create instead of obsolete advice to "overcome your perfectionism"

Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed out? Anxious? Being vague about your emotions is like saying you're "craving food" for dinner—utterly unhelpful! Your perfectionist brain needs precision to create the right action plan for you. Learn why labeling your emotions accurately is crucial for regulating your body's responses and the essential skillset all perfectionists need to understand their emotions, what the feelings mean and what to do about them, guided by the latest neuroscience research.On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:01:08-Controlling of emotions03:13-How to stop feeling overwhelmed05:28-Muffin-Cupcake Experiment07:54-Why Words Hold Physiological Power09:48-Emotional Regulation skills12:14-What the skill of emotional granularity buys you14:23-How to rewire your brain15:27-Becoming an Emotional Sommelier18:52-How do you construct your emotions more accurately? Resources Mentioned In Episode 248:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionAvoiding Perfectionist Mistakes in Expressing Emotions Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 173Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193Everything You Need to Know About Self Regulation as a Perfectionist  Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 194 Citations/Sources:Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.Barrett, L. F. (2016). The theory of constructed emotion: an active inference account of interoception and categorization. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, nsw154–nsw154. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsw154Barrett, L. F., Gross, J., Christensen, T. C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you're feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion, 15(6), 713–724. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930143000239‌Crum, A. J., Corbin, W. R., Brownell, K. D., & Salovey, P. (2011). Mind over milkshakes: Mindsets, not just nutrients, determine ghrelin response. Health Psychology, 30(4), 424–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0023467Gendron, M., Lindquist, K. A., Barsalou, L., & Barrett, L. F. (2012). Emotion words shape emotion percepts. Emotion, 12(2), 314–325. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026007Hoemann, K., Gendron, M., & Barrett, L. F. (2022). Assessing the Power of Words to Facilitate Emotion Category Learning. Affective Science, 3(1), 69–80. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-021-00084-4Hoemann, K., Khan, Z., Kamona, N., Dy, J., Barrett, L. F., & Quigley, K. S. (2021). Investigating the relationship between emotional granularity and cardiorespiratory physiological activity in daily life. Psychophysiology, 58(6). https://doi.org/10.1111/psyp.13818Hoemann, K., Lee, Y., Kuppens, P., Gendron, M., & Boyd, R. L. (2023). Emotional Granularity is Associated with Daily Experiential Diversity. Affective Science, 4(2), 291–306. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42761-023-00185-2Hoemann, K., Nielson, C., Yuen, A., Gurera, J. W., Quigley, K. S., & Barrett, L. F. (2021). Expertise in emotion: A scoping review and unifying framework for individual differences in the mental representation of emotional experience. Psychological Bulletin, 147(11), 1159–1183. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000327Satpute, A. B., Nook, E. C., Narayanan, S., Shu, J., Weber, J., & Ochsner, K. N. (2016). Emotions in "Black and White" or Shades of Gray? How We Think About Emotion Shapes Our Perception and Neural Representation of Emotion. Psychological science, 27(11), 1428–1442. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797616661555Westlin, C., Theriault, J. E., Yuta Katsumi, Nieto-Castanon, A., Kucyi, A., Ruf, S. F., … Barrett, L. F. (2023). Improving the study of brain-behavior relationships by revisiting basic assumptions. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 27(3), 246–257. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2022.12.015‌‌ Perfectionism Rewired is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, neuroplasticity + interoception techniques for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create instead of obsolete advice to "overcome your perfectionism"

It's impossible to stop self-comparison as a perfectionist. You.Are.Going.To.Compare.Yourself and here's the best way to do it! Discover 6 empowering ways to rewire unhealthy self-comparisons, perfectionism trash trades, how to tell if you're fear-based striving, live coaching on 4 IRL examples of comparing, the only skillset you need for this to work 100% of the time  and a tool to instantly upgrade comparing yourself  On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:01:26-Choosing Your Response to Comparisons03:07-The Skill Set of CAKE05:41-Trash Trades in Perfectionism06:55-Healthy vs. Unhealthy Comparisons08:47-How to Reframe Self-Critical Thoughts09:25-Breaking Free from Fear-Based Striving10:49-Living in the Present, Not the Future15:52-What Self-Comparisons Actually Reveal17:39-Tool to instantly upgrade comparing yourself21:48-How Tiny, Mighty Progress Fuels You Resources Mentioned In Episode 247:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionComparing Yourself [PART ONE] Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 245How Can I Stop Comparing Myself [PART TWO] Perfectionism Rewired Eo. 246Meeting Yourself Where You Are Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 187Will Save Your Sanity(might change your life) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 193 Citations/Sources:Olson, J. M., Buhrmann, O., & Roese, N. J. (2000). Comparing Comparisons. Handbook of Social Comparison, 379–398. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4615-4237-7_18Sirois, F.M., Monforton, J. and Simpson, M. (2010) "If Only I Had Done Better": Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 36 (12). 1675 - 1692. ISSN 0146-1672 https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614Stoeber, J., & Diedenhofen, B. (2017). Multidimensional perfectionism and counterfactual thinking: Some think upward, others downward. Personality and Individual Differences, 119, 118–121. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.009‌‌

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Tactical "stop it" approaches to self-comparison DO NOT WORK for perfectionists. Find out WHY along with the hidden costs of comparing yourself, why the approach you've taken to stopping self-comparison hasn't worked, what you actually need to do and scientifically what causes perfectionists to have an even harder time than non-perfectionistic people in rewiring this habit. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewireTIMESTAMPS:00:00-Why self comparison tactics fail perfectionists01:41-The hidden costs of comparing yourself06:31-Recognize self comparison as a type of self punishment.10:11-Why intellect isn't enough to rewire perfectionist tendencies12:13-Developing skill sets over gathering knowledge15:00-Why it's scientifically harder for perfectionists to stop unhealthy self-comparison16:08-Acceptance vs. judgment in rewiring perfectionism18:00-What Silver vs. bronze medalists show us about comparing yourself to others21:30-Choosing growth over fear of failureResources Mentioned In Episode 246:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionComparing Yourself (pt.1) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 245Intrinsic Motivational Patterns Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 66Citations/Sources:Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138  Sirois, F.M., Monforton, J. and Simpson, M. (2010) "If Only I Had Done Better": Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 36 (12). 1675 - 1692. ISSN 0146-1672 https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614Stoeber, J., & Diedenhofen, B. (2017). Multidimensional perfectionism and counterfactual thinking: Some think upward, others downward. Personality and Individual Differences, 119, 118–121. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.009‌‌

Comparing yourself all the time? Tired of feeling like you never quite measure up...no matter how much you accomplish? It's not just YOU! Discover the sneaky specific ways self-comparison shows up for perfectionists, the difference between self-awareness + self-coaching, why self-comparison is not your fault but is your responsibility to change.  On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewireTIMESTAMPS:00:00-How you can stop comparing yourself to others02:32-The Annoying Problem with Surface-Level Self Comparison Tips03:46-Self Awareness vs. Self Coaching: What's the Difference?05:34-Dangers of DIY Approaches to Rewiring Perfectionism07:25-Why “How To Stop COmparing Yourself To Others” tips backfire for perfectionists12:10-Comparing Insides to Outsides Never Adds Up14:13-Moving the goalposts17:49-Punishment vs. Discipline: Changing Behaviors without Pain19:31-Understanding the Why Behind Your Perfectionistic TendenciesResources Mentioned In Episode 245:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionBe Proud of Yourself Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 237Chasing Validation Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 236Proving Yourself At Work Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 232Citations/Sources:McCarthy, P. A., Meyer, T., Back, M. D., & Morina, N. (2023). How we compare: A new approach to assess aspects of the comparison process for appearance-based standards and their associations with individual differences in wellbeing and personality measures. PLOS ONE, 18(1), e0280072–e0280072. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0280072White, J. B., Langer, E. J., Yariv, L., & Welch, J. C. (2006). Frequent Social Comparisons and Destructive Emotions and Behaviors: The Dark Side of Social Comparisons. Journal of Adult Development, 13(1), 36–44. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-006-9005-0Zhou, Y., Yang, Y., Jiang, H., & Guo, C. (2025). Self-comparison versus social-comparison: The impact of imperfection on executive function in perfectionists. Personality and Individual Differences, 234, 112965. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2024.112965‌‌

Tired of getting tangled in your own words? Overcomplicating it? Asking "Does that make sense?" at the end of every sentence? Discover why you can't stop talking (even though you REALLY want to), the science behind overexplaining for perfectionists, how overexplaining is harmful to your health mentally, emotionally and physically, and why its a coping skill you want to retire ASAP.On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized TIMESTAMPS:00:00-Understanding the Science Behind Overexplaining02:24-Why Perfectionists Are More Likely To Overexplain05:18-Control Tactics and Overexplaining08:46-Self Worth vs. Self Esteem12:32-The Emotional Charge Behind Overexplaining14:02-Toll of Overexplaining on Mental + Physical Health16:18-How Interoception Kills The Need To Overexplain20:39-TRUTH BOOTH What Overexplaining Really Is22:33-Steps to Resilience and Reducing Overexplaining Resources Mentioned In Episode 244:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Care-ing vs Carrying Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202Interoception + Self-Regulation Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 194Inner Critic Be-Gone Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 212Emotional Overexplaining Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 173Proving Yourself At Work Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 232 Citations/Sources:Barrett, L. F., & Simmons, W. K. (2015). Interoceptive predictions in the brain. Nature Reviews. Neuroscience, 16(7), 419–429. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3950‌Price, C. J., & Hooven, C. (2018). Interoceptive Awareness Skills for Emotion Regulation: Theory and Approach of Mindful Awareness in Body-Oriented Therapy (MABT). Frontiers in Psychology, 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00798Ventura-Bort, C., Wendt, J., & Mathias Weymar. (2021). The Role of Interoceptive Sensibility and Emotional Conceptualization for the Experience of Emotions. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.712418‌

Craving Certainty? That need to be absolutely, undeniably, 100% sure before making a move? You're not alone. In this episode, I unravel why the struggle of dealing with uncertainty holds high performance perfectionists back, how to recognize it in your own life and take control of the fear uncertainty and doubt (so it stops controlling you!). You'll discover practical strategies to break free from the cage of high uncertainty avoidance and gain the confidence to move forward, even before every detail is known. Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for the right time won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized TIMESTAMPS:00:00-High Uncertainty Avoidance
00:40-What Perfectionists ARE Secretly in Control Of
01:36-Why Perfectionists Crave Certainty
02:21-Examples of Uncertainty
03:39-The Myth of Ironclad Certainty
04:47-Uncertainty Tolerance is a Learnable Skill
05:34-Making Good Decisions
06:50-Moving Forward Even When You Don't Know The Outcome
07:27-Rewiring Perfectionism from the Inside Out Resources Mentioned In Episode 243:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Fixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202 Citations/Sources:Anderson, E. C., R. Nicholas Carleton, Diefenbach, M., & Paul. (2019). The Relationship Between Uncertainty and Affect. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02504Reis-Dennis, S., Gerrity, M. S., & Geller, G. (2021). Tolerance for Uncertainty and Professional Development: a Normative Analysis. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 36(8), 2408–2413. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-020-06538-ySeif, M. N., & Winston, S. M. (2019). Needing to Know For Sure: A CBT-Based Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Checking and Reassurance Seeking . New Harbinger Publications.‌

Are You Waiting for the Right Time? It's time to stop waiting for the perfect time. Feeling 100% ready (or whatever ideal set of conditions you've been waiting for) is an illusion that keeps you from taking charge of your life right now. Learn how to recognize if you're giving your power over to ideal circumstances and how to take control.  Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for the right time won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Resources Mentioned In Episode 241:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Fixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202 Citations/Sources:Leclerc, F., Schmitt, B. H., & Dube, L. (1995). Waiting Time and Decision Making: Is Time like Money? Journal of Consumer Research, 22(1), 110–110. https://doi.org/10.1086/209439‌Osuna, E. E. (1985). The psychological cost of waiting. Journal of Mathematical Psychology, 29(1), 82–105. https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-2496(85)90020-3 

Ever wish you had more confidence?  Too many driven perfectionists wait for more confidence before making bold moves, mistaking insecurity for preparation. But waiting is killing your confidence slowly. 'm clearing up all the  confusion around getting more confidence so you can stop waiting for it to show up and giving you the exact formula  to get more confidence today! Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for more confidence on the sidelines won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Resources Mentioned In Episode 241:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingImpeccable Boundaries Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 239Fixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 202 Citations/Sources:Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191Katie Stringer Lucero, & Chen, P. (2020). What Do Reinforcement and Confidence Have to Do with It? A Systematic Pathway Analysis of Knowledge, Competence, Confidence, and Intention to Change. Journal of European CME, 9(1), 1834759–1834759. https://doi.org/10.1080/21614083.2020.1834759‌ 

 Lifelong learner but not taking bold action? I used to wait for more time, more confidence, more certainty, more information, more money and more support. Then I'd get MORE of what I was waiting for….and still find excuses to keep waiting. Until one day I quit waiting for more. Find out why perfectionists love to wait for more, precisely how this keeps you stuck and what happens IRL when perfectionists stop waiting for more information. Ready to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to create? Waiting for more on the sidelines won't get you there. Uncover how to joyfully play in the arena of your life by rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies inside  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching that gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Resources Mentioned In Episode 240:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingFixed Mindset Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 234Unlearning Learned Helplessness Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 2026 Self-Sabotaging Patterns Perfectionists Unknowingly Nurture Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 215The Sneaky High Performance Habit Holding You Back Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 140

Imagine feeling empowered, calm and grounded. You trust yourself. The incessant judgey voice in your head has been replaced with a witty, encouraging narrator. Your relationships built on truth. You say no to stuff you don't want to do, without explanation. You take care of yourself FIRST. You've upgraded from exhausted to excited. Want that to be your reality? It starts with Impeccable Boundaries. Listen to learn how to create your own Impeccable Boundaries On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Listen to the full episode to hear:- Can impeccable boundaries actually exist in relationships with unconditional love?- Impeccable Boundary vs Ineffective Boundary- how do you actually go about creating impeccable boundaries- Why it's more challenging for a perfectionistic person to have impeccable boundaries.- Perks  of impeccable boundaries- How who/what hurts you, can't heal you Resources Mentioned In Episode 239:Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private CoachingMore You Control, Less Powerful You Feel Perfectionism Optimized Ep. 196Care-ing vs Carrying Perfectionism Optimized Ep. 202Everything You Need To Know About Self-Regulation As A Perfectionist Perfectionism Optimized Ep. 194   

Just as you finally get everything under control, life throws you ANOTHER curve ball. Seems like no matter what you do, you never get a moment of peace bc It's Always Something. Discover exactly how to break down the elusive barriers that perpetually seem to get in the way of perfectionists and equip you with practical tools to let go of the chaos so you can navigate life's unexpected twists without getting overwhelmed.  On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Listen to the full episode to hear:How where you source your confidence from determines how well you adapt to life's surprisesWhy resourcing yourself mentally, emotionally + physically enables you  to handle unexpected challenges like a proThe secret to stop feeling like everything is always on your shoulders (this is way better than deep breaths) Resources Mentioned In Episode 238:Neuroplasticity (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 178)Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 Private Coaching Citations/Sources:Green, C. S., & Bavelier, D. (2008). Exercising your brain: A review of human brain plasticity and training-induced learning. Psychology and Aging, 23(4), 692–701. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014345Kummer, K., Mattes, A. & Stahl, J. Do perfectionists show negative, repetitive thoughts facing uncertain situations?. Curr Psychol (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04409-3‌Levine, S. (2003). Psychological and social aspects of resilience: a synthesis of risks and resources. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 5(3), 273–280. https://doi.org/10.31887/dcns.2003.5.3/slevine 

Discover why being proud of yourself is a mission critical skill for all perfectionists and how to rewire your brain to see your value. Un-learn the misconceptions currently getting in the way of you being proud of you and how to exit the inadequacy cycle. Thinking I don't have anything to be proud of? I'm giving you 5 reasons that you can be proud of yourself + the tool I use everyday to be proud of myself NO MATTER HAT I have or haven't accomplished. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized TIMESTAMPS:00:00-Perfectionists + Valuing Yourself Beyond Achievements01:52-Upgrading From "Being Successful to Be Proud Of You"03:15-Why being proud is USEFUL SKILL for perfectionists04:57-Living a life stuck in inadequacy06:03-Fear of Losing Motivation if Proud Now07:48-Finding something to be proud of: $3,000,000 challenge08:31-Attaching productivity to proud aka POISON09:50-Passive failing vs. active failing11:17-Feeling proud without eradicating negative emotions12:56-Shrinking the part of your brain that triggers stress SOURCES REFERENCED In Ep. 237Fischer, J. (2012). Being Proud and Feeling Proud: Character, Emotion, and the Moral Psychology of Personal Ideals. The Journal of Value Inquiry, 46(2), 209–222. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10790-012-9337-xNeff, K. D. (2009). The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself. Human Development, 52(4), 211–214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071Nepon, T. (2024). Perfectionism, Self-Image Goals and Compassionate Goals in Health and Mental Health: A Longitudinal Analysis - Taryn Nepon, Gordon L. Flett, Paul L. Hewitt, 2024. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/07342829241239997 

Do compliments make you uncomfy? Tired of constantly achieving and never feeling satisfied?  Discover the *real reason* you're still chasing validation from other people (it has nothing to do with accomplishments or self-esteem) and how to stop relying on external praise + recognition. Perfectionism Optimized client, bravely shares her story of being an Oscar-winning superstar vying for attention, feeling undeserving of praise and constructing her whole life around getting approval (and avoiding rejection). Hear step-by-step how she dropped the fears of not being good enough + being judged by others, let go of needing anyone's approval and rewired recognition on her own terms.  If you want to make sure the Approval Trap never trips you up again, and want proven, science-backed tools to become SO CERTAIN about the value you bring, become RESILIENT + RESOURCEFUL during your most stressful moments and finally feel as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside, you belong inside Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Listen to the Full Episode To Hear:Why Achievements Feel Empty and How to Change ThatHow lies we tell ourselves hold us back from seeing our own valuePractical steps to start giving yourself the praise you deserve. Resources Mentioned:Decoding Your Unconscious Motivational Patterns (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 80)Perfectionism Optimized: Patented, proven science-backed tools  that help you take charge of your perfectionism and learn to celebrate your achievements the healthy way. Credible Scientific Sources Cited In Ep. 236Burton, K. D., Lydon, J. E., D'Alessandro, D. U., & Koestner, R. (2006). The differential effects of intrinsic and identified motivation on well-being and performance: Prospective, experimental, and implicit approaches to self-determination theory. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(4), 750-762. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.4.750Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2015). Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. SpringerLink. https://doi.org/10.1007-978-1-4899-2271-7Nepon, T. (2024). Perfectionism, Self-Image Goals and Compassionate Goals in Health and Mental Health: A Longitudinal Analysis - Taryn Nepon, Gordon L. Flett, Paul L. Hewitt, 2024. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/07342829241239997 

Learn step-by-step exactly how Perfectionism Optimized client Nicole went from mom guilt overload to missing her kids' first day of school and her entire family celebrating it. Also, you'll uncover the why behind your guilt, understand the cost of continuing to carry guilt and discover why other approaches to stop feeling guilty don't work for perfectionists. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

You've been thinking about fear of failure all wrong. Get it right and find out what fear of failure is protecting you from, the underlying reasons behind fear of failure, the sneaky ways fear of failure shows up for perfectionists, what fear of failure really is (not good enough) why popular advice for overcoming fear of failure isn't helpful for perfectionists and practical steps you can take today to dissolve this pattern. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Episode 234 Timestamps:00:57-Sneaky Ways Fear of Failure Shows Up For Perfectionists02:32-What Are You Waiting For?04:47-Protecting Subconscious Mind From Feeling Inadequate05:40-Black and White Thinking06:17-Fear of Inadequacy07:44-Procrastination and Indecision09:34-Surfing Through Fear of Failure10:25-Growth vs Fixed Mindset11:32-Cognitive Dissonance in Perfectionism14:06-Solving and Evolving Through Mistakes16:46-Discovering the Only Problem You Have + Solving It

Ever feel like you're constantly walking a tightrope? Expected to be confident but not too intimidating. Be assertive, but don't get aggressive. As women in leadership we've developed coping mechanisms to navigate these obstacles - like over-preparing, always getting it right and making sure we're well liked. These strategies have kept us afloat, but at what cost? Putting our careers ahead of our values, keeping one eye on the inbox even at the playground. So, how do we break free from this cycle? How do we burn bright without burning out and lead without losing ourselves? Your answers are inside this episode. . On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Discover why proving yourself is career poison, how to recognize the hidden, nuanced ways proving shows up (like when you put $$ in tip jar) and what lies beneath this constant pressure to constantly prove yourself. Finally get to the source of why even when you're at the top of your game, what's driving you to overwork, question your value and seek validation at every turn. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Did I make the wrong choice? Why does this bother me so much? Am I letting them down? What if I fail? Spinning in self-judgement and second guessing every small move you make, your brain won't stop replaying magnifying your mistakes. Find out the REAL reason your inner critic won't shut up and how to start asking better questions so you can feel better right NOW. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Resources Mentioned In Ep. 231Episode on the science of how your brain answers questions (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 39)Questions To Ask Yourself For Instant Excellence (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 23)

Discover the clues you're clenching that you'd NEVER GUESS are rooted in your perfectionistic tendencies. Plus how Perfectionism Optimized client Molly reversed her Osteoporosis diagnosis and regained her sex drive. Learn why we clench, what's happening inside your body + brain, the 5 core pillars key to releasing the clench You don't have to white knuckle your perfectionism. And if you feel like you are, I invite you to come coach with me 1-on-1 inside Perfectionism Optimized, where you'll learn how to take charge of your perfectionistic tendencies, which means you'll finally feel as awesome as your life looks and stop trying to control everyone in your orbit. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized   Perfectionism Rewired ep. 411 on Fasciahttps://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/fascia-the-missing-puzzle-piece-for-perfectionists Truth + Accuracy Brought To You By:Chiara Ghetti, Skoczylas, L. C., Oliphant, S. S., Nikolajski, C., & Lowder, J. L. (2015). The Emotional Burden of Pelvic Organ Prolapse in Women Seeking Treatment. Female Pelvic Medicine & Reconstructive Surgery, 21(6), 332–338. https://doi.org/10.1097/spv.0000000000000190Khan, Z. A., C. Whittal, S. Mansol, Osborne, L. A., Reed, P., & Emery, S. (2013). Effect of depression and anxiety on the success of pelvic floor muscle training for pelvic floor dysfunction. Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, 33(7), 710–714. https://doi.org/10.3109/01443615.2013.813913Taple, B. J., Griffith, J. W., Weaver, C., & Kenton, K. S. (2020). Enhancing behavioral treatment for women with pelvic floor disorders: Study protocol for a pilot randomized controlled trial. Contemporary Clinical Trials Communications, 17, 100514–100514. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.conctc.2019.100514

Signs you're programming your kids for anxiety without knowing it, how children pick up anxiety from perfectionistic parents,  why traditional methods like therapy are 15x slower at achieving results, what *actually works* for caring, busy, perfectionist parents who want a physiology of excellence and how developing a physiology of excellence gives you unrivaled resilience, presence, and emotional intelligence On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it?  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimizedPreventing passing of anxiety to your kids starts with understanding how your own physiology affects theirs. Children are always parroting you, especially how you carry worry, anxiety and guilt. Making it vital to learn how to metabolize your emotions efficiently with daily practices instead of shutting down or sweeping it under the rug. Learn how implementing a daily hygiene practice, like the patented E.P.I.C. Skills framework, you free up energy for what matters most and create a healthier environment for your whole family. Perfectionism Rewired episode 411 on Fasciahttps://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/fascia-the-missing-puzzle-piece-for-perfectionists Truth + Accuracy Brought To You By:Bordoni, B., & Simonelli, M. (2018). The Awareness of the Fascial System. Curēus. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.3397Langevin, H. M. (2022). Making Connections to Improve Health Outcomes - Helene M. Langevin, 2022. Retrieved June 22, 2024, from Global Advances in Health and Medicine website: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2164957X221079792Lesondak, D. (2018, April 6). Fascia: What it is and Why it Matters. Retrieved June 22, 2024, from ResearchGate website: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324261326_Fascia_What_it_is_and_Why_it_Matters

Fascia is the Wi-Fi of your insides, with over 250 million sensory receptors weaving through its matrix - it's how emotions are made and where we feel our sensations, instincts and intuition. But if you tend to overthink, ruminate, catastrophize or stress out, you're compromising your fascia which impacts your body's ability to function optimally + think clearly. Discover why fascia is the missing puzzle piece for perfectionists and how to detect if there's dead zones in your own fascial network- where your sensations, instincts and intuition intersect.  On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it?  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized EP 228 TIMESTAMPS:01:38-The Role of Fascia in Mental Clarity and Confidence02:10-Where fascia is found and its impact on your body03:03-Fascia's Role in Breaking Generational Belief Patterns04:06-How fascia sends and receives information at the speed of light05:01-Wi-Fi of your Insights + Intuition06:10-What Skin is to Touch, Fascia is to Your Feelings07:25-How To 10x Your Emotional Intelligence09:18-The flexibility of fascia for quick improvements10:15-Benefits of upgrading your fascia's communication system. Truth + Accuracy Brought To You By:Bordoni, B., & Marelli, F. (2017). Emotions in Motion: Myofascial Interoception. Complementary Medicine Research, 24(2), 110–113. https://doi.org/10.1159/000464149Bordoni, B., & Simonelli, M. (2018). The Awareness of the Fascial System. Curēus. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.3397Fede, C., Petrelli, L., Guidolin, D., Porzionato, A., Pirri, C., Fan, C., … Stecco, C. (2021). Evidence of a new hidden neural network into deep fasciae. Scientific Reports, 11(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-92194-zPalomero-Gallagher, N., & Katrin Amunts. (2021). A short review on emotion processing: a lateralized network of neuronal networks. Brain Structure & Function, 227(2), 673–684. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00429-021-02331-7‌

Stressed out, frustrated or having trouble sleeping? Stress is physiological for perfectionists and our physiological stress impacts our brain, our ability to speak, to think and our emotional agility. So if you want to have the ability to take charge of perfectionism, you gotta solve stress at the source. Bc you don't have time to do 20 minutes of deep breathing when stressors pop up, you need a personalized process that works instantaneously fast. And that's the first thing I teach Perfectionism Optimized clients, how to de-stress level in any moment, so they can get back in charge. Discover how to solve stress at the source and the exact clues to identify if you need a process to help you handle your stress ASAP.On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it?  Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Apply today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Mentioned In This Episode:Why Perfectionists Burnout (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 176)When Deep Breaths Aren't Enough (Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 192) EP 227 TIMESTAMPS:00:00-The Most Important De-Stress Skill Nobody Taught You00:47-Why Intellectual Solutions Don't Ease Stress02:10-The Impact of Stress on the Body's Systems03:55-The Looming Shadow of Chronic Stress06:38-Recognizing Stress Eruptions07:30-Patterns of Self-Destructive Stress Behavior09:48-Physical Manifestations of Unresolved Stress11:17-Rewiring Perfectionistic Habits Truth + Accuracy Sources:Chu, B., Marwaha, K., Sanvictores, T., Awosika, A. O., & Ayers, D. (2024, May 7). Physiology, Stress Reaction. Retrieved June 14, 2024, from Nih.gov website: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK541120/Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98Larijani, Roja, and Mohammad Ali Besharat. “Perfectionism and Coping Styles with Stress.” Procedia—Social and Behavioral Sciences 5 (2010): 623–27. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2010.07.154Sirois, F. M., J. Monforton, and M. Simpson. “If Only I Had Done Better: Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 36, no. 12 (2010): 1675–92. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614.

Racing through your days on hyper-speed but still not present for any of it? Discover how high-achieving architect Jessica went from pushing through "everything will be better once..." to being present during the most challenging time of her life, her mother's passing. Hear from Jessica how Perfectionism Optimized coaching gave her the tools to stop the worry/wish cycle, metabolize her stress an handle excruciating times with confidence and grace, and why it's "the best thing I've ever done for myself, I think, in my entire life." On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Episode 226 Timestamps:00:41-Pushing Through: Super Ineffective Perfectionistic Strategy01:32-Recognizing Pushing Through in Your Own Life03:00-The Exhausting Game of "Whack a Mole"04:54-Chasing the Illusion of "Once It Gets Better"05:54-Living in Fast Forward or Slow Motion07:58-Being Present For Meaningful Moments09:04-Fueling Fierce Ambition in a Grounded Way10:53-How To Be More Present

Feeling like you can't relax on vacation? As perfectionists the way we relax is completely different than other people. Learn why and how to start relaxing on your own terms.On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimizedListen To The Full Episode To Learn:Why You Can't Relax on VacationStep-by-step to stop putting pressure on yourselfHow to cultivate the skill of relaxingEpisode 225 Timestamps:00:00-Why Perfectionists Struggle to Relax on Vacation01:45-Athleticism of Relaxing: Training Your Mind to Unwind05:41-How can I clear my mind and relax06:50-Dissolve Pressure and Anxiety While Relaxing08:53-Getting an A+ in Relaxing as a Perfectionist

Take the overwhelm out of perfectionism, starting today with the one SKILL SET you've never been taught. #truthbooth it's the only skill set that'll save you from a life that feels frustrating - like you're always chasing happiness. Because when you put yourself in charge of your internal world and remove overwhelm- the way you show up in the world shifts. Like you're no longer snapping at your partner or seizing up with anxiety when looking at your email. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to exude confidence in  each + every part of your life and *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimizedListen To The Full Episode To Learn:Why Outsourcing  Increases Overwhelm For PerfectionistsWhat you Gain by Developing resilience and inner calm instead of depending on controlHow to Feel Amazing Right Now - No More Overthinking or Doubting

Feel like you're carrying the weight of the world? You want to be a present parent, crush it at work, keep it fresh with your partner, call your bestie back and drink your water, BUT when you compartmentalize and be whoever you need to be to get the result, you end up exhausted. Say goodbye to the exhausting cycle of squishing yourself to fit in. Trade being contrived for exuding confidence, with the only sustainable solution for ambitious perfectionistic people. Plus hear about that one time CLG sharted in her jumpsuit

Feeling Clenchy? Discover the truth about what *really* happens when you let go of rigid rules that've made you super successful. I'm giving you the uncensored inside scoop on exactly wha happened when I stopped fisting, opened up to new possibilities and began to surf my own ocean--my achieving + energy increased 80%!!!!!  If you're exhausted or feel like it's always something, this episode will give you the fuel  to rise up. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or breaking generational cycles of Self-Criticism, Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching is how you expand your confidence, make your choices aligned with your values and *finally feel* as amazing as your life looks. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:Why wayyy too often perfectionists overwork while oblivious to our own underperforming (aka sunk cost fallacy)How to know if you're fistingWhere you can go to get unrivaled support designed specifically for high performance people who want to feel good again without sacrificing

If you've ever felt trapped in a cycle of I should be past this and using your intellectual smarts as evil tools to hammer yourself with, this episode is for you. On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or breaking generational cycles of Self-Criticism, Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching is how you expand your confidence, make your choices aligned with your values and *finally feel* as amazing as your life looks. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:Unconscious Competence: Understanding embodied knowledge vs mental masturbation How telling yourself "I should know this" is the cowardly response (and what the courageous one is)Why knowing something intellectually doesn't translate to action 

Fighting against yourself IS playing life on torture mode AND entirely OPTIONAL. Most solutions for overcoming perfectionism suck. They're not empowering, efficient or any FUN, plus research shows Overcoming Perfectionism simply *doesn't work*when you are driven, ambitious, caring, high-performer. That's WHY I'm revealing how you can take your frustrating perfectionistic tendencies—like catastrophizing, people-pleasing and overthinking— and remix them with refreshingly practical perspectives from our neurodiversity neighbor, ADHD.  Want to feel as incredible on the inside as your life looks on the outside? Then you gotta check out Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE for driven, ambitious, Type-A high performers with perfectionistic tendencies. Inquire today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized   Perfectionism Rewired podcast is brought to you by America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, Courtney Love Gavin (CLG) and is committed to neuroscience truth + accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens.WTF does Perfectionist Affirming mean? Perfectionist affirming is an empowered view where perfectionistic tendencies are not seen as deficits to be “fixed” -  no victims, powerlessness or fighting against. Instead your perfectionism is leveraged to work for you. Part of neurodiversity movement that sees humans as uniquely wired individuals who all experience the world differently. Truth + Accuracy In Episode 220 Is Brought To You By:Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe's Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981Otsuka T. (2023). ADHD For Smart Ass Women (1st ed.). William Morrow  

Feel like Perfectionism is controlling you? That you're at the mercy of your perfectionist tendencies? Or that life would be easier if you weren't such a perfectionist? Perfectionism is not a choice. But you can choose how you want to navigate through it, and that choice is powerful. Discover how the greats Dolly Parton, Serena Williams, Kobe Bryant, Sara Blakely, Marie Kondo have leveraged their perfectionism to shine. Through scientific research and personal experiences, you'll discover step-by-step how it's possible to rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out, just like CLG did. Rewire the right way (not the hype way) inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE + exclusively designed for driven, ambitious + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to feel as incredible on the inside as their life looks on the outside.  Melt your stress away starting today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized   TIMESTAMPS:00:00-Understanding Learned Helplessness Embedded In Perfectionism Recovery01:28-Challenging Lies About Perfectionists with Science02:16-Celebrating Famous Perfectionists Behind World-Changing Innovation03:55-WTF Are Enduring Identity Markers + Why Do They Matter?05:12-Unlearning Learned Helplessness with Dr. Martin Seligman (Godfather of Positive Psychology)06:11-The Problem With Blaming Perfectionism07:03-Flipping Helplessness to Empowerment08:46-Rediscovering Being In Charge and Response-ability10:12-Helplessness + Feeling Out of Control Re: Childhood Conditioning11:58-Reframing Perfectionism as an Empowerment Journey13:20-How To Quit Fighting Against Your Perfectionism + Work WITH It15:05-What incest + perfectionism recovery have in common16:40-Getting Your Perfectionism Right17:25-Quality Questions To Snuff Out Helplessness   Truth + Accuracy In Episode 219 Is Brought To You By:Abramson, L. Y., Seligman, M. E., & Teasdale, J. D. (1978). Learned helplessness in humans: Critique and reformulation. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 87(1), 49–74. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.87.1.49Quchani, M. (2023). The mediating role of coping styles in the association between perfectionism and learned helplessness in students' population. Annales Médico-Psychologiques, 181(7), 619–627. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amp.2022.07.010Woodfin, V., Binder, P. E., & Molde, H. (2020). The Psychometric Properties of the Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale–Brief. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 1860.

Got resentment? Uncover where resentment is hiding in your home responsibilities and the No. 1 mistake you're probably making when it comes to communicating your frustration (this takes you out of black and white thinking).  Plus the ONE TOOL that makes you 90% less resentful towards your partner + makes 100% sense as to why you feel like it's all on your shoulders. This TOOL is like having the power to show upcoming storms in your relationship, dissolve them ahead of time and avoid saying mean things you feel guilty about later  – for  both you + partner!  Upgrade from resentment to reconnection inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE + exclusively designed for driven, ambitious + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to feel as incredible on the inside as their life looks on the outside.  Melt your stress away starting today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized 

Building Resilience IRL Intimate, all access behind-the-scenes look of how I get my anxious, overthinking Type-A high performance perfectionistic brain to calm TF down *when Anxiety strikes*. Previously only available on the Private Client Podcast, sharing with you in celebration of my birthday AND to show you there IS a MUCH better way to deal with your perfectionism. Where you're in charge, confident and connected to YOUR values. If you want to get out of your own way and be more present, this is the episode for you! On paper, you've got it together— isn't it time you felt like it? Build confidence, courage and conviction in yourself while you playfully take charge and get out of your own way, with   Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching exclusively for driven, Type-A, high achieving perfectionists who are committed to excellence. Get your stress-free start, today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Listen to the full episode to hear:Two biggest mistakes Perfectionists make when anxiety, panic, overwhelm strikesHow Courtney Love Gavin changed from a life filled with fear and self-criticism to one of joy, resilience and strengthThe importance of LSD in overcoming anxiety and annoying perfectionistic tendencies. Truth and Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98Price, C. J., & Hooven, C. (2018). Interoceptive Awareness Skills for Emotion Regulation: Theory and Approach of Mindful Awareness in Body-Oriented Therapy (MABT). Frontiers in Psychology, 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00798Schoeller, Félix & Haar Horowitz, Adam & Jain, A. & Maes, Pattie. (2019). Enhancing human emotions with interoceptive technologies. Physics of Life Reviews. 31. 10.1016/j.plrev.2019.10.008.

Discover the extraordinary scientifically proven benefits of rewiring your perfectionism with special guest and former #recovering perfectionist, CEO Dylan. Plus the hidden costs of unchecked perfectionism and how it's sucking the life out of you (literally). Ready to leverage your perfectionism in WAY YOU LOVE WITHOUT all the victimy #recoveringperfectionist, be less ambitious BS  you've been told all your life? Enter  Perfectionism Optimized, the ONLY high-integrity private coaching program for perfectionists that empowers neurodiverse, high-achieving and Type A individuals to quit fighting against their perfectionism forever using proven neuroscience so that you can *FINALLY* feel as amazing as your life looks and embody the powerhouse you're designed to be. Get your stress free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Listen to the Full episode to Hear:How to harmonize your high standards with a high-stakes career and transform your perfectionistic drive into a source of strength and resourcefulness.Why rewiring your perfectionism creates breakthroughs in perception and efficiency, empowering you to approach challenges with curiosity and creativity.Uncover the reasons why perfectionists often overwork yet remain oblivious to their own underperforming, and how you can develop a keen sense of self-awareness to break free from this cycle of striving and self-criticism. TIMESTAMPS Ep. 216: 00:00-The Perfectionist's Dilemma: Chasing Satisfaction01:55-Meet Dylan: Seeing Problems Everywhere03:37-Overworking To Distract From Self-Criticism06:19-Interoceptive Awareness Shifts Anxious to Excited08:04-IRL Rewired Perfectionist Success: Dylan's Journey Continues09:47-Why Achievements Feel Empty and How to Change That10:12-Science of Feeling Good: Dopamine and Serotonin Explained11:55-Building Emotional Agility and Resilience15:24-How Rewired Perfectionism Enhances Mental Focus + Confidence17:59-Courageously Running Towards vs Fearfully Running Away21:53-Dropping contempt and judgment that blocks change Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:Do You Play to Win—or to Not Lose? (2013, March). Retrieved January 29, 2024, from Harvard Business Review website: https://hbr.org/2013/03/do-you-play-to-win-or-to-not-loseCovington, Martin V., and Kimberly J. Müeller. “Intrinsic Versus Extrinsic Motivation: An Approach/Avoidance Reformulation.” Educational Psychology Review 13, no. 2 (2001): 157–76. doi:10.1023/A:1009009219144.Sirois, F. M., J. Monforton, and M. Simpson. “If Only I Had Done Better: Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 36, no. 12 (2010): 1675–92. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614.Suh, H., Gnilka, P. B., & Rice, K. G. (2017). Perfectionism and well-being: A positive psychology framework. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 25–30. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.041‌

For driven perfectionists self-sabotage often appears as status quo success and our unfulfilling choices are applauded. Bc these self-sabotaging perfectionistic patterns go undetected, you're off chasing an illusion of control, achieving under pressure with an overcrowded schedule, snipping at your spouse,  thinking I'll be happy when..."  only to find the goalposts keep moving. Discover precisely how to recognize your own self-defeating perfectionism patterns, exactly what's driving your self-sabotaging behaviors and the perfectionist's guide to stop self-sabotage.. If you're committed to intentionally moving beyond autopilot and   Perfectionism Optimized  high-integrity private coaching is for you! Sumptuous, science-backed solutions designed specifically for tenacious Type-A perfectionists. Get your stress free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:Do You Play to Win—or to Not Lose? (2013, March). Retrieved January 29, 2024, from Harvard Business Review website: https://hbr.org/2013/03/do-you-play-to-win-or-to-not-loseCovington, Martin V., and Kimberly J. Müeller. “Intrinsic Versus Extrinsic Motivation: An Approach/Avoidance Reformulation.” Educational Psychology Review 13, no. 2 (2001): 157–76. doi:10.1023/A:1009009219144.Sirois, F. M., J. Monforton, and M. Simpson. “If Only I Had Done Better: Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 36, no. 12 (2010): 1675–92. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614.Suh, H., Gnilka, P. B., & Rice, K. G. (2017). Perfectionism and well-being: A positive psychology framework. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 25–30. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.041‌

What if your self critic is actually a caring signal from your unconscious, warning you of danger ahead + to get off this path? Your self critic is not the enemy; it's an alarm bell from your body. But it's near impossible to listen to it with all the NOISE + stigma surrounding criticism, self-love and self-compassion. Discover the health consequences of self-criticism and lessons from pro-athlete perfectionist who finally figured it out. This is the third episode in the self-criticism trilogy. I'm inviting you into the one place that can make your self critic a thing of the past— all you gotta do is take the first step.  Go for it today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Ep. 214 Timestamps02:04-The Iceberg of Self-Criticism03:27-Why Traditional Self Critic Approaches Fail Perfectionists04:37-Lessons From Pro-Athlete Perfectionism Optimized Client07:07-Link Between Cancer + Inner Critic08:02-From Criticism to Critical Condition IRL09:11-Making the Choice to Change  Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:Campos, R. C., Holden, R. R., Caçador, B., Ana Sofia Fragata, & Baleizão, C. (2018). Self-criticism, intensity of perceived negative life events, and distress: Results from a two-wave study. Personality and Individual Differences, 124, 145–149. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.12.004Ferrari, M., Ciarrochi, J., Yap, K., Baljinder Sahdra, & Hayes, S. C. (2022). Embracing the Complexity of our Inner Worlds: Understanding the Dynamics of Self-Compassion and Self-Criticism. Mindfulness, 13(7), 1652–1661. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-022-01897-5Thakur, N., & Baumann, N. (2022). Breaking the anxious cycle of self-criticism: Action orientation buffers the detrimental effects of a self-critical personality style. Journal of Affective Disorders, 301, 30–35. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2022.01.014

Uncover the shocking truth behind your self critic and how to *finally* break free. Plus the massive opportunity-costs you are blind to every time you self criticize, how habitual self-criticism creates insidious patterns of self-sabotage and 3 simple steps to be high-quality in all areas of your life WITHOUT self-criticism.Ready to liberate yourself from perfectionism prison? If you want to know how to work WITH YOUR brilliant perfectionistic brain, feel as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside and live unapologetically true to who you be + what you value Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Here's where you start  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Is your Self-Criticism only getting worse? Overthinking a million ways you suck your mind's go-to? If your self-criticism cycles JUST won't quit, it's not bc you need more self-compassion, self-love or a less tragic childhood. It's simply bc you're focusing on the wrong problem and by misidentifying your problem, you're missing out on all the super simple solutions. That silliness ends NOW. Discover the 8 undercover forces driving your self-criticism cycles AND exactly how to solve each one.If you're DONE with self-criticism holding you back + want to remember what playfully proud of yourself feels like and gain lifetime skills that make you stronger, happier, braver, calmer + more resilient  Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Sumptuous, science-backed solutions designed specifically for YOUR perfectionistic tendencies. Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Ep. 212 Timestamps00:00-Identifying WHY You Self-Criticize02:46-The ROOT of Self-Critical Pattern No. 105:10-How ADHD Feeds Off Self-Criticism07:20-Why Am I So Hard On Myself? SOLVED09:55-When Your Career Demands Your Self Critic11:45-Solutions That Actually Work for Overly Critical Achievers13:25-Criticizing Yourself to Create Change16:45-Hyper Critical Power Dynamics18:33-How To Stop Beating Yourself Up Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:Campos, R. C., Holden, R. R., Caçador, B., Ana Sofia Fragata, & Baleizão, C. (2018). Self-criticism, intensity of perceived negative life events, and distress: Results from a two-wave study. Personality and Individual Differences, 124, 145–149. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.12.004Ferrari, M., Ciarrochi, J., Yap, K., Baljinder Sahdra, & Hayes, S. C. (2022). Embracing the Complexity of our Inner Worlds: Understanding the Dynamics of Self-Compassion and Self-Criticism. Mindfulness, 13(7), 1652–1661. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-022-01897-5Thakur, N., & Baumann, N. (2022). Breaking the anxious cycle of self-criticism: Action orientation buffers the detrimental effects of a self-critical personality style. Journal of Affective Disorders, 301, 30–35. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2022.01.014 

How raising your standards solves the perfectionistic tendencies that've been holding you back. Hear from Perfectionism Optimized client Brian who was exhausted from being everything to everyone while pulled in a million directions and how making this ONE swap immediately created a cascade of less stress, more presence and legit enjoyment in his dynamic life.Whether it's spending quality time with your family, stop dreading the guilt you'll feel on vacation or dealing with the pressures of being excellent at everything, this episode gives you a step-by-step guide on the inner workings of perfectionist brains and how to easily structure your days around what's most meaningful to YOU.Why lower your standards when raising them upgrades your entire life? If you're committed to being stronger, happier, braver + more resilient and want the only tools designed specifically for driven overachievers to feel as amazing as their life looks Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Listen to the full episode to learn:Empowering strategies for setting boundaries and honoring your needs without guilt or resentmentHow making a 1% shift in your standards creates a 100% difference in your daily lifeStep-by-step to structure your days around what's most meaningful to YOU Ep. 211 Timestamps00:00-Raising standards for perfectionists = upgrades relationships + focus02:29-Brian's Story: Client Case Study on Changing Life Dynamics04:16-The True Meaning of Raising Your Standards06:15-What Raising Your Standards as a Perfectionist Is Like IRL09:00-The EPIC Framework™ Empowered Presence and Interoceptive Connection11:09-Action Steps to Identify + Attune Your Own Standards13:45-Trying to Control vs Being in Charge15:17-Constantly battling your own unrealistic expectations?

Exactly how you can end the never good enough cycle right now, for real + for-ever. Plus WHY what you've tried before didn't work +  why this will work FOR you. PERIOD. Why settle for good enough when you could be empowered? If you want the only tools designed specifically for perfectionists to move beyond never enough,  skills that make you stronger, happier, braver, more resilient and want in-depth personalized support rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies, Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Ep. 210 Timestamps00:00-Never Good Enough No Matter How Hard You Try01:19-Am I Good Enough03:30-Moving Beyond Inadequacy Fallacy05:12-When is enough is enough06:07-No Wonder You Feel Not Good Enough07:11-The Game Is Rigged So You Feel Inadequate08:20-How Affirmations Erode Self-Trust09:52-Playing a Better Game: Empowered Perfectionism10:55-How to Be Present + Relaxed in a Purpose Driven Life Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe's Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981Pannhausen, S., Klug, K., & Rohrmann, S. (2020). Never good enough: The relation between the impostor phenomenon and multidimensional perfectionism. Current Psychology, 41(2), 888–901. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-00613-7Sinek, Simon (2020) The Infinite Game. London, England: Portfolio Penguin.  

The MOST productive + positive way to quit people-pleasing, ruminating, catastrophizing, overthinking, second guessing yourself, constantly seeking reassurance, answering work emails on vacation, over-apologizing. The real reason WHY you haven't been able to stop despite knowing harmful side effects. Awesome acronym to identity your own perfectionistic landmines + step-by-step how to get relief that elevates you instead of keeps you stuck spinning out. You don't have to white knuckle your perfectionism. And if you feel like you are, I invite you to come coach with me 1-on-1 inside Perfectionism Optimized, where you'll learn how to take charge of your perfectionistic tendencies, which means you'll finally feel as awesome as your life looks and stop trying to control everyone in your orbit. Get your stress-free start today at courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Fear of failure holding you back? Can't stop obsessing over what you should've done better? I'm telling you exactly how to stop being judgmental, drop the fear of failure and always know if you're doing a good job with a way that's more useful, feels better + helps you progress wayyyy faster  Listen to liberate yo self from the cycle of fear and self-consciousness. If you're committed to being stronger, happier, braver, more resilient and want in-depth personalized support rewiring your perfectionism, Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimizedListen to the full episode to learn:How being judgmental is the silent killer of your relationships (esp. with people you love the most)Where sneaky judgment is lurking in your own lifeWhy you're stuck + how mistakes are the solutionEXACTLY how to legit enjoy failureEp. 208 Timestamps00:00-How Judgment Holds Perfectionists Back02:20-Fear of Failure + Its Dangerous Consequences03:51-Why Am I So Hard On Myself05:26-Being Judgmental is a Protection Mechanism06:33-What Lies Beneath Your Judgment07:30-From Judging Yourself to Joyful Winning09:27-Exactly how to drop judgmental12:22-Trading Contempt for Curiosity + Experimentation14:42-How To 13x Building Your Resilience15:53-Rewiring Your Perfectionistic Patterns From The Inside Out Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe's Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981Hitchcock, P. F., Britton, W. B., Mehta, K. P., & Frank, M. J. (2022). Self-judgment dissected: A computational modeling analysis of self-referential processing and its relationship to trait mindfulness facets and depression symptoms. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, 23(1), 171–189. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-022-01033-9Ong, C. W., Lee, E. B., Petersen, J. M., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). Is perfectionism always unhealthy? Examining the moderating effects of psychological flexibility and self‐compassion. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 77(11), 2576–2591. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.23187 

Uncover how perfectionism impacts your intimate relationships and the No. 1 mistake you're probably making when it comes to resentment, Plus the ONE SKILL that makes you 90% less overwhelmed? It's like having the power to predict and avoid emotional meltdowns – for yourself!  Ready to rewire? Upgrade resentment for resilience inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching exclusively made for for driven perfectionists + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to quit fighting against themselves forever. Melt your stress away starting today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized Referenced In the Episode:Carrying vs Caring In Relationships (Ep. 202) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/lighten-your-load-caring-deeply-without-taking-on-too-muchHow Perfectionistic Brains Work (Ep. 193) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/will-save-your-sanity-might-just-change-your-life 

Hurry, it's your last chance to rewire your perfectionistic patterns in an accelerated 6 weeks with just you + CLG inside the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator Be sure to apply NOW or forever hold your peace! Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator 1.0 is closing + retiring forever on Friday February 16, 2024.  Tp get in on this spaceship before it blasts off, go to courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator today. 

Are you a high achiever who secretly struggles when things don't go according to plan? A setback occurs and it feels like your world is falling apart? SAME. In this episode, I'm candidly sharing my recent stumbles and how I moved forward without blame, making myself small or beating my self to a pulp. You'll learn what NOT to do when things go awry, how to melt away the ruminating and catasrophizing and what to do with all those feelings inside (it's not AT ALL what you think).If you're ready to experience the amazingness that comes with being an empowered perfectionist  and want proven, science-backed tools to PLAYFULLY INTERRUPT the perfectionistic habits currently cramping your prolificness, you belong inside the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator Listen to the Full Episode To Learn:What happens when you get a sucky setback surprise and how to empoweringly rise to the occasion.How to move forward without turning into a robot or constantly beating yourself up over what went "wrong"Where all your power is and how to skip the ruminating about the past or catastrophizing about the futureWhy You want to focus on moving THROUGH your feelings, instead of fixating on what's causing them or why they are thereStrategies you can start using today to stop beating yourself up + handle setbacks with expert-level skills Referenced In the Episode:How Perfectionistic Brains Work (Ep. 193) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/will-save-your-sanity-might-just-change-your-life Ep. 206 TimeStamps00:00-When Everything Goes Wrong Despite Your Best Efforts02:02-Understanding Why Your Inner Critic Calls03:20-Accepting Life As A Human = Embracing Adaptability Over Rigid Planning04:39-Ruminating + Futility of Dwelling on Your Past05:32-Power of Living in the Present06:47-The Doritos Analogy: Choosing Better Responses07:39-Debunking the Cause-and-Effect Fallacy08:29-Taking Responsibility for Your Choices09:11-How to Handle Emotions Constructively10:06-Staying Present to Rise Above Challenges11:17-Overcoming the Self-Criticism Trap12:56-Embracing Mistakes and Perfectionist Humanity