Podcasts about Sing It

boom sister rent slate tick musicals asshole your brain ticktick tick tick boom pete holmes sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2024 89:54

In this episode of Sing It, Sister! (which is definitely NOT one of the shortest) Clare and Ellen discuss the movie about a play about a play, 2021's Tick, Tick...Boom! Show notes: Pete Holmes' bit: Your Brain is an Asshole on YouTube No Day But Today: The Story of Rent, documentary on YouTube An Exhaustive List of Every Broadway Cameo in Tick, Tick..Boom! Slate article, November 19, 2021

LAURIE BERKNER: Kindie Music Maven

Creativity in Captivity

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2024 43:57

A singer, songwriter, lyricist, author, and founder of Two Tomatoes Records with 15 award-winning albums, more than 1 billion total streams, and nearly 450 million YouTube channel views. Laurie has performed at Lincoln Center, Carnegie Hall, and the White House. Business Insider dubbed Laurie “the gold standard of the children's music world.” As a leader and innovator in children's music and entertainment for more than 25 years, Laurie was the first recording artist to ever appear in music videos on Nick Jr., appeared regularly on the network's Jack's Big Music Show, and helped develop the short form animated musical preschool series Sing It, Laurie! on Sprout TV. Laurie has authored several picture books based on her songs and has created two Laurie Berkner's Song and Story Kitchen series with Audible Studios, who released them as 10-chapter audio books through the Audible Originals brand. She has written the music and lyrics for three children's musicals originally produced Off-Broadway by New York City Children's Theater, and now presented regionally.

music song theater white house business insider carnegie hall maven off broadway lincoln center audible originals nick jr laurie berkner sing it kindie audible studios new york city children

Hairspray

new york times baltimore sister saturday night live drag john travolta musicals hairspray mental floss dermot mulroney dylan mcdermott slashfilm sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2024 77:19

In this episode of Sing It, Sister! Clare and Ellen chat about the 2007 movie musical Hairspray (and a bit about the 1988 version which, turns out, is NOT a musical). Come along for the ride as they talk big, blonde, and Baltimore! Episodes notes/reads: 14 Fun Facts About Hairspray, from Mental Floss, June 2016 John Travolta in Hairspray: Keeping his rhythm, even in drag, from the New York Times, July 2007 How to pronounce "homage" - from YouTube (turns out, you can't be wrong!) Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney - from SNL, via YouTube Did You Know Dermot Mulroney Plays Cello for Blockbuster Scores Like Spider-Man: Far From Home?, Slashfilm.com, July 2023

Across the Universe

movies apple universe apologies beatles sister musicals across the universe sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2024 91:05

In this episode of Sing It, Sister(s)! Clare and Ellen discuss 2007's Across the Universe, and embarrass themselves with their lack of Beatles knowledge. Apologies for the lack of soundtrack tunes, Apple changed how things work :( Follow us on Instagram @singitsisterpod

[The Blackness.]

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 1:57

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city donald trump father peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys evolution trauma japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc alive bear mexican nbc suicide lack wake players manhattan ugly scary daddy id drinking insurance panic broke cia shit michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard sucks losers fuck homeless wtf sold mcdonalds bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought fat make money copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm wasted whoopi goldberg jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed blackness int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax stumble idk kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god hostility bruh oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want ridicule dillon francis fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists what do you want sadistic stop asian hate ions bummed raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj state property what the fuck rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

OCS8III.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 4:12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] . . . “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city donald trump father peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys evolution trauma japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc alive bear mexican nbc suicide lack wake players manhattan ugly scary daddy id drinking insurance panic broke cia shit michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard sucks losers fuck homeless wtf sold mcdonalds bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought fat make money copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm wasted whoopi goldberg jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax stumble idk kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god hostility bruh oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want ridicule dillon francis fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists what do you want sadistic stop asian hate ions bummed raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj state property what the fuck rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

Alan Wake 2: Don't Alan Sleep On It

Paragon Marathon

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2024 159:01

In a horror story, there are only victims and monsters. In a podcast about a video game about a horror story, there are only confused (but enthusiastic!) sibling hosts. Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as the Marathon runs a long, spiralling loop-lap through Alan Wake 2 along with any and all connected universes. We like to call this next episode "The Story of the Journey of Alan Wake: THE MUSICAL!" But instead of talking, we'll SING IT! (We will also just talk about it.) True Crime fans, horor enthusiasts, and even you wretched gamers: Please join us for our most musical episode and least comprehensible discussion yet! Contained within: amateur sing-alongs, Scandinavian self-inserts, author heroes, hero authors, anti-hero auteurs. Also Tom does a rap.

story sleep marathon true crime scandinavian alan wake contained sing it

LAURA SCHEIN - Learn All About Musicals // Auditioning & Creating

The Moving Spotlight

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2023 49:46

Laura Schein is an actor/writer/lyricist based in Los Angeles. She is the co-creator of the acclaimed new musical Emojiland (New York Times Critics Pick; Richard Rodgers Award Finalist; Drama Desk, Lucille Lortel, Outer Critics Circle, Off-Broadway Alliance Nominee), and originated the role of Smize. She co-wrote the original songs for the 2022 stop motion Disney holiday film Mickey Saves Christmas and the Paramount+ feature Honor Society, and was on the music team for the animated feature UglyDolls, for which she co-wrote the Kelly Clarkson/Janelle Monae duet “Unbreakable,” shortlisted for the 2020 Academy Awards. She's a lyricist on the musical feature Marriage Material, in development with Chernin Entertainment, based on the short film acquired by Fox Searchlight. Her 1/2 hour comedy pilot Thrup was a semi-finalist at the 2021 Austin Film Festival. She's currently developing the stage musical Miss Hysteria, selected by Stephen Schwartz as part of the 2023 ASCAP Musical Workshop at The Wallis. Laura got her acting break at 13 years old in the first national tour of Ragtime, and has since performed at award-winning theaters all over the world. Her TV/film credits include a lead role in the upcoming indie horror Grizzly Night, as well as guest roles on FOX, Showtime, ABC, CBS, Amazon and SyFy. She was a series regular on YouTube Originals' comedy series Sing It! and co-created the improvised series Crystal's Balls for Funny Or Die, for which she received an LA WebFest “Outstanding Lead Actress” nomination. She's also toured the country opposite Jason Alexander in his show An Evening With Jason Alexander. A long-time health nut and certified health coach, she also co-hosts the hit functional medicine podcast What The Func?! A Chicago native, Laura is a graduate of Northwestern University. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ LAURA SCHEIN ⌲ IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1600779/ ⌲ IG: https://www.instagram.com/thelillaura/?hl=en ⌲ Website: https://thelillaura.com/ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ The Moving Spotlight Podcast ⌲ iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-moving-spotlight/id1597207264 ⌲ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7cjqYAWSFXz2hgCHiAjy27 ⌲ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themovingspotlight ⌲ ALL: https://linktr.ee/themovingspotlight ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ #Musicals #Emojiland #MissHysteria #MickeySavesChristmas #UglyDolls #Paramount #HonorSociety #MastersOfSex #911LoneStar #Northwestern #JerseyShoreSharkAttack #Emmys #TVTime #iTunes #Actor #ActorsLife #Believe #Success #Inspiration #Netflix #Hulu #Amazon #HBO #AppleTV #Showtime #Acting #Artist #Theatre #Film #YourBestBadActing #Content #CorbinCoyle #JohnRuby #RealFIREacting #TMS_Pod --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-moving-spotlight/support

Ep. 5: What Makes a Great Book + Five Recommendations

Faith and Fables Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2023 30:50

On this episode, we're talking about what makes a great book! We'll list seven elements of a great book and five recommendations that fit those elements. If you need a 5-star read, be sure to give this spoiler-free episode a listen! Articles Referenced: ⁠https://self-publishingschool.com/writing-styles/⁠ Books Mentioned: Once Upon a Wardrobe by Patti Callahan Authentically, Izzy by Pepper Basham Famous for a Living by Melissa Ferguson A Girl Called Samson by Amy Harmon Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers The Words We Lost by Nicole Deese Timeless Series: When the Day Comes and In This Moment by Gabrielle Meyer These Silent Woods by Kimi Cunningham Grant The Magic of Lemon Drop Pie by Rachel Linden Indigo Isle by T. I. Lowe Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It by Hunter Beless Amy Carmichael: The Brown Eyed Girl Who Learned to Pray by Hunter Beless Let's connect! Instagram: http://instagram.com/faithandfables/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/faithandfablespodcast

living pray recommendations wardrobe izzy great books say it see it in this moment book five articles referenced sing it

The Greatest Showman

hero sister sisters circus hugh jackman musicals zendaya zac efron greatest showman barnum showman sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2023 68:42

In this episode of Sing It, Sister! Ellen and Clare are back at it, this time talking about 2017's The Greatest Showman. Listen to them unpack the problematic character of P.T. Barnum before getting into all the fun stuff like the music, the dancing, and Zac Efron's face. Show Notes: P.T. Barnum Isn't the Hero the ‘Greatest Showman' Wants You to Think - Smithsonian Magazine, December 22, 2017 Graham Norton Show S22E13 - Hugh Jackman, Zendaya, Zac Efron - YouTube, December 31, 2017 The Greatest Showman | "From Now On" with Hugh Jackman | 20th Century FOX - YouTube, December 19, 2017

347: Yacht Returns

The Poundcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2023 82:51

The band YACHT, comprised of Jona Bechtolt, Claire Evans, and Rob Kieswetter, is BACK on the Poundcast. That's right, they were on one of the earliest episodes about ten years ago. Anyway, aside from music, YACHT does all kinds of other things and they get into all that with Doug and Brent. For Unzipped, it's just Rob and his girlfriend Jenny Lee, who does wardrobe for TV and film. And they play another installment of Sing It!, which is really fun, so check that out. For extended Poundcast episodes (Unzipped), subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poundcast Follow The Poundcast on Instagram and Twitter @thepoundcast For video, check out: www.youtube.com/thepoundcast Join the Poundcast Discord here: discord.gg/GnqUMmX New Pound House "Dope Beats" Pins right here: https://www.rockinpins.com/product/pound-house-dope-beats-enamel-pin And use the code word "POUNDCAST" at www.louisvilleveganfoods.com for, that's right, 20% off!

tv music ai advice band musician yacht atc jona all things comedy unzipped jenny lee brent weinbach idea factory sing it claire evans jona bechtolt

Power of the Tongue to Give Life

Faith Community Bible Church

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2023 42:14

Slideshow for this message is available Introduction James 3 We are in the book of James and we are on a journey to discover the nature of true saving faith. James has really opened our eyes and helped us to distinguish between CLAIMS of genuine faith and genuine faith itself. Just because someone claims something doesn't make it true. It's the difference between claiming that that an APPLE tree is an apple tree and claiming that a MAPLE tree is an apple tree.We need to evaluate all claims but especially our own. So how can you tell if a claim is a false claim or a true claim? Well here's James' whole point. Get to the source. Get to the bottom. Look to the root. But there is a problem with roots; you can't see them. They are buried underground. The root is invisible. But for James, that's no problem. In order to make an assessment about the invisible root all one has to do is look at the visible fruit. Depending on the type of root, you'll get a certain type of fruit. And so James has been looking at all sorts of evidences, but the particular fruit that James is evaluating in chapter 3 is our speech. Genuine faith has an effect on our words. Our words should be evaluated as an evidence of what's in our heart. The Speech Challenge Now this week I was reading about a challenge of the words. And it really seemed simple enough. For an entire week, you just had to follow these six rules: Now, I would love for you to try this like I did. It's super eye opening. Here's what you will discover. You will discover how absolutely impossibly freaking hard this is. Here I am trying to write a sermon on this subject. I have lots of motivation to really do something about this whole positivity in speech buisness. And you know how long I lasted? 3 minutes. Here's what happened I come home and I see that the kids have dumped their backpack on the floor and they've basically just kicked off their shoes at random and as I looked around I just saw stuff tossed here and there I started feeling the annoyance meter rise; and I feel pretty justified in this feeling since Lisa and I have been working on this every day for approximately 22 years. And normally I would make some sort of cutting remark to remind them of their sloppy habits. But this time I said, okay, " I'm going to bit my tongue. I'm going to not say anything this time. I'm just going to encourage. I'm going to just take it in th chin. I'm going to redirect the conversation. I'm going to say something nice instead." But then right at that moment, I rounded the corner and saw them playing video games with drink cups out and tipped over. So I just blurted out, “Get off, right now and clean up your junk. I've told you 5 million times….” And then I just stopped and I just stood there amazed. I can't believe I just said that. I told myself I wouldn't say that. You see, you can't tame the tongue. If the heart is evil, it's going to come out. There are dragons in there and you are trying to keep them out with a cardboard gate. I mean, they are just going to burn that thing through like tissue paper against a blow torch. Even though I was consciously thinking about it, even though I told myself I wouldn't do it, even though I'm writing a sermon about it, I made it three minutes. Is that not embarrassing? 3 minutes. And as I surveyed my speech throughout the week, I think I can honestly say, most of what I had to say fell into two categories: boasting or cursing. We are always trying to either build ourselves up or tearing others down. Now, today we will have totally and completely failed if you don't walk away with a crystal clear understanding of WHY it is that we cannot tame the tongue. If you walk away with a resolve to ‘try harder to be more positive' it would have been better for you to not have even come. I really mean that. What we need to come to grips with is WHY. Why do we just continue to fail, day after day, week after week with our speech? There is a REASON we are factories that churn out boasting and cursing. Jesus said, out of the overflow of the mouth the heart speaks. Rotten things stink. Eventually our words reveal what's inside. We can't help it. In the same way that a man is what he eats, a man is what he speaks. So what do we do about it? Review Now really this is just part two of a message Josiah preached last week. What we have in this passage, as Josiah so helpfully pointed out, is the reality that words are either either powerfully destructive like nuclear weapons or powerfully healing like medicine to the soul. Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Those are the options: either POWERFUL blessing or POWERFUL cursing. Now I want you to understand why words are so powerful. The fact that we can speak is clearly one of the ways that we are like God; no other animal can speak; it's one of the ways we are made in God's image. Think about it. In the beginning was the Word. There was nothing and then God spoke, the WORD spoke, and suddenly, there was something. The word is what created. And in a similar way, our words create realities when we speak them. We can think to ourselves all we want but the second we speak those words, those ideas go out into the world and they create. They take on a life of their own. Just imagine a father who says, “Why can't you get good grades like your brother.” Or to his two daughters, “Your not as pretty as your sister.” Those are not just sentences. Those words, when spoken, create, build and weave realities. Those spoken words create eternal identities. The creative moment when those words are released can never be undone. Maybe you still carry in your soul hurtful words your parents said to you, your best friend how he just stabbed you to the core. The taunts you received, even as a little kid. James compares those words to spark, just a little thing that slips out and it takes on a life of its own. But they can also be powerful agents of healing and life giving. Perhaps you can remember an encouraging word given to you in moments of deep despair. Perhaps you can remember a compliment that struck you and stuck with you for life. You'll never forget it. Words are either POWERFUL swords or POWERFUL antiseptics. So of course the question we want to ask is this: if words are so powerful to destroy or give life, what do we do about the fact that so many of our words create and destroy rather than give life? And as we observed from last week, a lot of the focus of James' writing is on diagnosis and not so much on remedies. So at first blush he's not that helpful. James appears to be here to test not treat. A test tells you who you are. But here's the thing: a test doesn't tell you what to do about it. A pathology lab report just tells you THAT you have cancer. It doesn't tell you WHAT to do about it. The book of James can sometimes feel like a cold, heartless, and even hopeless pathology lab report. James says your words reveal you have a terminal cancer of the heart. It's the worst kind. It's the deadly, lethal. No human being can tame the tongue. Okay, you copay portion is $500 please. It does feel hopeless. This is how the passage ended last week. Where's the hope there? Nobody can tame the tongue. This is a terminal case. Is that where James intends to leave us? Today what I want to do is focus a bit on the solution to the problem. And the solution comes in the form of several analogies. In just a few verses we get four analogies all of which are helpful in GIVING US HOPE! What do we do about the cancer? Well the analogies he gives here contain the answer if we just spend a little time thinking about them. Now here's the first analogy. So the principle here is pretty basic. The source determines what kind of water you end up drinking, right? This is pretty obvious in the physical world but not as obvious when it comes to our hearts and actions. James wants us to apply the analogy. If the supply of your words is filthy, then it's no wonder your words are filthy?" If every time you turn on the faucet, you discover it's black and filled with moss and gardia and you get horribly sick, you aren't going to fix that problem by cleaning the cups in the cupboard or the outside of the faucet with dawn soap. The only solution to THAT problem, is change spring. Change the source. It's always a question of source. And that principle is the key to understanding everything James has to say about the tongue. So here's our outline based on the text. That's where we are going. So, let's start with the first point. The first thing to do is to confess. Now this text really opened up for me when I realized what James is really trying to say. In fact, I think I read this text incorrectly my entire life until just this week. When I would read these texts I would read them like this. Okay, God is comparing my mouth to a spring. And that spring spews out good things and then for some random reason it spews out bad things that hurt people. Goal - get that spring to be less bipolar. Speak more good. Speak less evil. Is that how you read it? But that's not James' point at all. James' point is this. If there is a salty source mixing with a pure source, then the whole thing is salty. It's ruined. What well produces half good and half bad? If there's any bad, isn't it true the whole thing is bad? The tendency is for us to look at the good things and think, "Okay, sure some of my speech was a little salty. Okay sure, I'll grant that. Nobody's perfect. But look there. That one was good. I said some nice things to my kids. My prayers were pretty commendable. My counsel over here was pretty epic. James is trying to get us to stop fooling ourselves. There is no such thing as a well that produces fresh and salt water. If there's any salt water at all, then you have a salty spring contaminator. That's evidence of the wrong source. Your kidding yourself if you think that your connected to a pure well. And that's a problem because if there's any salt, the whole thing is polluted. You see the same principle back up in verses 8 and 9. James 3:8-9, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. The tongue is being compared to deadly poison. Sometimes we bless people and sometimes we curse. And again, I used to read this as ok, do more blessing of God with my tongue and less cursing of men. But that's not what he's saying. WHAT IS THE DEADLY POISON? The deadly poison is the fact that both exist in the same tongue! In fact, that mixed reality is what makes it so deadly. Consider a guy whose trying to hunt deer. He walks around with a gun. Every time he sees a deer he tries to shoot it. What is that deer going to do? He's going to run for his life. But what about the guy who puts a little feed out in his yard and the deer learns to trust him and then he brings the feed in a little closer and the deer learns to trust him. And then weeks later after the trust has been established, he pulls out a gun and shoots the deer at point blank range. Which of the two hunters was more deadly? You see the mixed nature of our words is absolutely lethal. We open up people's hearts with our good words so we can stab them with our hurtful words. It doesn't matter how many beautiful words you sing on Sunday. It doesn't matter how many cool things you can say with your mouth in Bible study settings, it doesn't matter how religiously sounding your Facebook posts are….if any of your words are polluted, the whole spring is polluted. And again, in some ways, the good words makes it way, way worse. All your good words are just bait, all the religious lingo is just luring in your victims so they open their heart up to you, they begin to trust you, so you can stab them. That's why marriage hurts are the deepest. You trust, you let them in, you trust, you let them in further and then the knife! That's also why sins like gossip are so, so incredibly damaging. With gossip you lure a person in through caring words. Concern. I just want to process with you about something… I don't know what to do, maybe I can tell you about my situation and we can pray about it. And rather than confront the person directly, there's all this indirect side conversations. Even though the Bible says as clear as day, “If someone has a complaint against his brother, go to him privately. If he repents, you've won your brother.” Even though the Bible says that you say, “I'm just going to get counsel from someone I respect” That whisper then goes out and destroys. I've seen so much damage from that seeming little sin. So what's the solution? If you hear evil words come out of your mouth, confess. The first step is always, repentance. It's just confessing. It's just good old fashioned repentance. I think confessing that our language is evidence of an evil heart is one of the hardest things to do. That's why there's this second point. So many people try to apply this passage the way I tried to. Okay, let's try and get the good words to outnumber the bad words. Let's try turn up the positivity juice a bit. Let's try and put some more smile sauce into our words. 10 positive word challenge That's crazy talk. Imagine going into a restaurant and being given a glass of filthy, black water. It smells like sewer. You could see the settiment. You could even see bugs swimming around. *And so in a pretty upset voice, you ask the waiter, “Do you expect me to drink this?* This water is filthy.” And she said, “Oh, I'm so, so sorry. And she took out some fresh water and just topped off your glass.” That is almost an insult. That's worse. Do you think that helps? You see, until we confess, we are just topping off glassess. Let's sprinkle a little positivity on top of our poison. But confession pours out the cup. Confession is that magic of just purging and eliminating the evil and yucky things and letting Christ be the one who takes care of them. And then we let Christ fill our cup. 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Do you see the cleansing part? Confession cleans the cup. Without confession, we are just topping off glasses. With confession, we clean the cup. That's such an important distinction. I know you guys are thinking people. And because of that there's something that is probably really bothering you. You might be thinking to yourself, "Self, how does this work? My speech is always mixed. My speech will always be both filled with CURSING and BLESSING. If mixed water is really not any different than bad water, in fact maybe even the worse kind of water, then I'm that guy, right? What does that say about me? Well here's what it says about you. You can never be righteous through your words. So stop trying. The question is not, ‘do you have salty speech.' Of course you do. Why? Because you have a salty heart. So yes, of course it's mixed. The question is what do you do with it? Do you confess it or do you ignore it. There are two kinds of Christians. Those who speak fresh and salty water and confess it and those who don't. That's the only difference. Don't think the Christian life is one-time repentance deal and then it fixes everything. The Christian life is a lifestyle of repentance. What is promised in this life is NOT the elimination of sin. What is promised in this life is FORGIVENESS when you do. The presence of sin remains. The power and penalty of sin has been removed. The corruption in us runs very deep and therefore will be surprisingly present even in our great moments. Listen, I want to remind you that you just how possible it can be to walk in the Spirit one moment and walking in the flesh the next. Do you remember Peter's great confession. Jesus asked his disciples, “Who do men say that I am?” Some say you are the great prophet. Some say Moses. Some say Elijah. Then Jesus turns to Peter and say, “But who do you say that I am?” You are the Christ, the son of the living God. Flesh and blood did not reveal that to you. Those WORDS came from God. Now the text continues From that time Jesus Christ began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day. And Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You.” But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's.” (Matt. 16:21-23 NAS) Now what I want to illustrate here is that in a span of two minutes Peter went from walking in the Spirit and speaking words of life to walking in the flesh and speaking words of death. He went words set on fire by heaven to words set on fire by hell itself. And does that not ring true in your experience? Wow that whiplash is sometimes so surprising. But here's the real issue. What do you do about it? Now Peter has a choice. He either ignores that. He pretends like that didn't happen and now he's just topping glassess. Or he repents. And we have the promise, "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Which means we can start over with a clean glass. yes, you can start clean, because of what Jesus did. You can dump it. You have to confess. You can't just ignore. You haven't dealt with the darkness. You have to receive Jesus' forgiveness. So let's do that. Confession is where we say, that speech was evil. That speech is what Christ died for. God please forgive me for saying that. We start by saying what David said in Psalm 51. Against you and you only have I sinned. And then you talk to the person who you spoke to… maybe they said hurtful things to you. Who cares. This is your confession. It's not a 50/50. Will you forgive me for the evil that came out of my mouth. Right now, we need to do that. If you cut people down, if you constantly criticize, if you complain, if you argue every point, if you make excuses, if you have opened your mouth and spoken negatively about someone else if you have spoken carelessly about someone's body if you lie, if you bend the truth in your favor, if you conveniently leave facts out, if you nag, if you whine, if you try to win and explain how you are right. Don't try to justify it. Don't try to explain how the circumstances made you do it. Don't try to point to the other good things you do. Don't say, hey look at this fresh water over here. For some reason, it's just so hard to repent of our words. If we lust, we usually blame ourselves. If we steal, we usually blame ourselves. If we overeat, we usually blame ourselves. But if we burst out in anger, if we say hurtful words, if we complain, if we blame others, if we share a little morsel, try to find sympathy for our situation with our words, we almost always find a way to absolve ourselves of our responsibility. When it comes to our words, it seems we can always find an explanation that exists outside of us. We dump the sin in the lap of someone else. Don't forget when we talk about communication we are talking about not just words, but tone, non-verbal…all of it. Even the silent treatment. Just repent. Remember the God-like power we have with our words? When we speak those words do something to others but they also do something to us. When we confess, when we actually speak those words, it does something to us. WE, WE are changed. Do you know what confess means, literally, it means to say the same thing as. You use your mouth to say about yourself, the same thing that God says about you. You confess it. And what is God saying about us that we need to say? How does God's speech about us need to match up with our own speech about us. We need to confess that without God we are evil. Without God, our hearts are so evil. We can't do this ourselves. It's just not possible. One of the things that sets the Christian message apart from all other messages in the world is our utter helplessness. The gospel message is not very flattering. On the surface it's really crushing. Jeremiah 17, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? This is what God says about us. Confession is just agreeing with it. Romans 3:10-14, as it is written: None is righteous, no, not one; 11 no one understands; no one seeks for God. 12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. 13 Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive. The venom of asps is under their lips. 14 Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Look at your speech. This is what God says about us. Confession is just agreeing with it. Romans 8:7, For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. This is what God says about us. Confession is just agreeing with it. Romans 7:18, For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. Do you see the point? We do not have the ability. The flesh, that part of you that exists without Christ, does not have the ability to do good with the lips. Confession, just admits that. The only way to clean the bowl is to let Christ do it. You have to confess. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out I am like a lame man trying to tell his legs to move. I can't do it. Beautiful words come from a different spring. I want to emphasize so strongly, that the solution is not try harder. Try to get a better percentage of good vs bad. So here's where this message really boils down. Change the source. We need to change where we are rooted. So he drives home this principle again with a couple more analogies. Have you ever found yourself trying to apologize and instead of an apology out comes excuses? Can a fig tree produce olives? No. Because it's a fig tree. It's nature is to produce figs. Our words are terrible because we haven't changed the source! Your just drawing from the SAME OLD stuff. Have you ever tried to apologize and then out comes a complaint that the other person hasn't fully apologized so why should I apologize? Can a grapevine produce olives? No. It can only do what nature allows grapevines do. If your nature is bad, you need to change the nature. If your words are bad, you haven't changed the source. Same old stuff. Have you ever tried to really work on your language, really just focus on being positive and changing those bad habits, and then just the smallest little trigger and bam, right back into it. Can a salt pond produce fresh water? In Israel, the obvious location of a salt pond is the dead sea. The dead sea is so incredibly salty. It's almost like syrup it's so thick with salt. Can you stick your head in the dead sea and drink up some fresh water? You can't expect to get both. Why? Because the nature of salt water is that it will mix with all the other water around it. It's nature does not allow separation. If you drink from the dead sea, your going to puke. If your words are salty you haven't changed the source. Same old stuff. And so with all these powerful analogies that James provides for us, let me present to you his point. Now You have a tongue. And that tongue is connected to a heart. That heart has a nature. What kind of heart is it? Here's where this whole message is heading. Your heart, apart from Christ is corrupt. It's horribly corrupt. All you need to do is look at your words. As Jesus said, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” What is that tongue producing? Is it producing poison? If so, what do you think the solution is? Switch springs. You know how to do that? You know how to sink your roots into a new spring? Use your lips to praise the Father. Notice that the dichotomy in the text is not bless men vs curse men. It's bless God and curse men. Application: Walk in the Spirit. What God wants you to do with your tongue is praise him. Yes, you need to confess your sin by confessing who you are but you also need to confess who God is. You need to say about God what he says about himself. You see so much of our problems come from not confessing what God says is true. We need to say back to God what he says is true about himself and to us. This is what the Bible means by a sacrifice of praise. When we sin, we have this instinctual response to offer a sacrifice. And that's good. But what kind of sacrifice? The Bible talks about offering a sacrifice of PRAISE. Hebrews 13:15, Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. We acknowledge, I can't change the spring. You died for my salty spring. And now, because of that, I praise you. I rejoice. Remember when David sinned with Bathsheba, so many ugly words came out of his mouth. So many sinful words. And so he repents. He confesses. Toward the end of the Psalm he says this. Psalm 51:15-17, O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. In the temple system, Moses commanded Israel to offer sacrifices of thanksgiving. What are we thankful for? We are thankful that God made the way. We can't do it. Jesus Christ is the Word we need. Yes, your sins are like scarlet. Yes, you have sinned with your mouth. Yes, you mouth is an open grave. But You are my beloved child. I love you. I died for you. You're my treasure. I adore you. You're my precious little one. That has the power to heal and overturn all of the things that have ever been said about you before. It can change you. It can heal you completely. It scatters the vultures that have been pecking away at your mind all these years, all those pecking thoughts, what your dad said, what your mom said, what your friends said, what you have said, all of those things that are haunting you. The Word, the Word comes in, the Word we need, the Word we have to have. And Jesus Christ says, “I love you.” And because he spoke to you, you speak back to him. Listen, FCBC, open your mouth. Let the words come out. Speak PRAISES back to God and others. Speak of his goodness. Speak of his character. Say it. If you don't say it, the words have no power over you or over others. Don't think it. Say it. Maybe you aren't a man of many words. Maybe you don't like to talk much. Well, that's okay, but when this lands, you definitely have one thing to talk aobut. Just blurt out what God has done for you. Just speak. Just spill out your guts. When Jesus is in our guts, what spills out is beautiful. It's life giving. The words heal. When Christ is inside, we discover that everyone around us is being edified by it. God has given you a mouth to sing. God has given you a mouth to praise. God has given you a mouth to shout out words. And those words have power of you and others. SAY IT. SING IT. That's how we change the source. What the Spirit of God does is shows you the beauty of who Jesus is and what he has done for you. And that unglues the tongue. That gets you to praise God the Father. And that solves everything. That blesses everyone. So let's get out of our chairs right now, let's open our mouths, let's loosen the tongue and let's sing about the great, great beautiful love of Jesus Christ. Let's let the fountain of living water come out of us. Now what worship leader doesn't love that setup for a closing song.

Spirited

christmas apple sister sisters musicals spirited sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2022 72:50

In this holiday episode of Sing It, Sister! Clare and Ellen discuss the new Apple movie Spirited. Come along for the LONG (but fun) ride! And have a good afternoon and happy holidays!

Unfiltered - Episode 14 - Determination with The King of Chemo Iain Ward

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 47:06

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Podcast Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall!We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens.Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the weekThis week is all about Determination and we couldnt be joined by a more determined person, the incredibly inspiring Iain Ward aka The King of Chemo!Iain Ward was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and is now on a mission to spend every minute of the time he has left raising money for cancer researchWe have a waffle about how he signed up for a medical trial in which a MRI scan was needed, during this scan a small, supposedly harmless, tumour was detectedA short while later it was confirmed that he had stage three brain cancer, which normally comes with a life expectancy of five years“I wanted to do something physical to show other people with medical or mental issues that they need not be defined by their condition"Iain really is a force to be reckoned with and if you want to help his cause please donate what you can hereIf you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

acast ward determination unfiltered mri iain chemo hereif taylor james sing it weekthis iain ward

Unfiltered - Episode 13 - Imperfection with Lottie Bedlow!

acast unfiltered imperfection taylor james sing it weekthis

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2022 37:41

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Podcast Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall!We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens.Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the weekThis week is all about Imperfection with The Great British Bake Off Legend Lottie Bedlow!Lottie is a self proclaimed average baker and joins us for a waffle to celebrate the release of her brand new book Baking Imperfection!This week we're waffling about the beauty in imperfection, epic disasters and baking!We have a waffle about how baking has helped Lottie's mental health and why we should be striving for imperfection rather than perfection. This week has a lot of heart and one of the biggest takeaways was to just enjoy yourself regardless of what the outcome may beThis episode is a real belter so we really hope you enjoy it!If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unfiltered - Episode 12 - Kinky Dating with Annabelle Knight!

dating unfiltered kinky taylor james sing it annabelle knight

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2022 46:53

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Podcast Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall! We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens. Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the week This week is all about Kinky Dating and we are joined by the brilliant Annabelle Knight! Annabelle is a sex, relationship and body language expert, she's also a best selling author, sex toy expert and a celebrity relationship coach! I mean she's just an absolute legend! This week we're waffling about all things kinky dating and wow is this episode an eye opener! Annabelle dives straight into the kinky stories and we get a real insight on how we should be embracing sex and the negative impact porn can have on your sex life! This episode is a real belter so we really hope you enjoy it! If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you!

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Podcast Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall! We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens. Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the week. This week is all about Festivals!! Festival season is officially over for another year however we are here to bring you a recap of the best of the best! Were waffling all things Glastonbury, Portaloos and even Threesomes in this week's episode! We have a waffle about the things that are only acceptable at festivals, the horror stories and we get you lovely lot involved! Obviously Sing It or Sack It is back with features from Eminem and George Ezra, let us know what you think! This episode is an absolute belter and I can't thank you all enough for waffling with us! If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you!

festival eminem festivals unfiltered threesomes glastonbury festival special george ezra taylor james sing it

Unfiltered - Episode 8 - Going Viral with Jack Saunders!

tiktok unfiltered going viral taylor james sing it jack saunders

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2022 45:58

Unfiltered - Episode 7 - Crime & The Younger Generation

crime unfiltered younger generation go fund on you taylor james sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2022 43:28

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Podcast Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall! We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens. Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the week. For this we're joined by the incredibly inspiring Luke Cato who is on a mission to educate the younger generation about choices and the impact that they can have on the rest of your life. Luke speaks very openly and honestly about his own journey and experiences with crime, knife crime and how things have changed since he become a parent Luke also created an incredible platform It's On You, its an interactive urban drama that teaches the younger generation how to navigate real life situations If you are affected by anything heard in today's episode please reach out, if you would like to help support Luke's work he has a GoFund page set up where you can do just that! If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you!

Respect of Responsibility; Quotes by Dr. Jackie Huggins

The Indigenous Cafe Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2022 62:17

Roman Orona takes you on a journey around the world of Indigenous Music. Indigenous Cafe brings you music, conversation and inspiration from the Indigenous People of North America and the Indigenous People from all over the world. On this weeks journey, we are traveling with a show titled, “Respect of Responsibility; Quotes by Jackie Huggins” Dr. Jacqueline Gail “Jackie” Huggins was born in Queensland, Australia on August 19, 1956. Dr. Huggins, is a Bidjara/Pitjara, Birri Gubba and Juru Aboriginal Woman. She is an aboriginal author, historian, academic, and advocate for the rights of Indigenous Australians. Dr. Jackie, has won numerous awards for her literature work and has held many positions in the Australian Government as an advocate for Aboriginal Affairs. Artist's you will hear in the order they are played on this weeks show: THE INDIGENOUS CAFE PODCAST INTRO (00:00:00-00:02:21) “We must respect each other's right to choose a collective destiny, and the opportunity to develop the legal and political rights for Indigenous and non-Indigenous peoples so that we may enjoy the right to maintain our culture, our heritage and our land, as a united Australia.” -Dr. Jackie Huggins 1. Yothu Yindi - “Yirrmala” (Healing Stone) (00:02:21-00:06:58) 2. Alexis Holland & Dashmesh Khalsa - “Wings of a Condor” (A Voice for the Voiceless) (00:06:58-00:11:02) PROGRAM BREAK (00:11:02-00:11:37) “It's a very Aboriginal thing to do, to give younger people greater responsibilities within the community as they become able to take those responsibilities on. It is a culturally appropriate transfer of roles that involves respect in both directions… from the younger to the older and the older to the younger.” -Dr. Jackie Huggins 3. Nancy Sanchez ft. Cuñao- “Sanando Heridas” (La Gran Civilización) (00:11:37-00:14:43) 4. Julian Taylor - “Ola, Lets Dance” (The Ridge) (00:14:43-00:17:33) 5. Grant-Lee Phillips - “Moccasin Creek” (The Narrows) (00:17:33-00:20:04) Roman Orona (Host) (00:20:04-00:21:08) “Citizenship has not delivered Indigenous Australians the same quality of life other Australians expect. Basic human rights involve health, housing, education, employment, economic opportunity, and equality before the law, and respect for cultural identity and cultural diversity. These human rights must be capable of being enjoyed otherwise they are empty gestures.” -Dr. Jackie Huggins 6. Chontay Standing Rock. - “Straight 2” (Sing It) (00:21:08-00:25:07) 7. Fred Kaydahzinne - “Social Back and Forth 3” (Sacred White Mountain) (00:25:07-00:29:03) 8. Anthony Benally - “NAC Set Four, Pt. 4” (Azee Diyin) (00:29:03-00:30:59) PROGRAM BREAK (00:30:59-00:31:38) “We have reached a pivotal time in Indigenous affairs when for the first time, national attention is being paid to the horror of Indigenous family violence in this country. For the first time, an Australian Prime Minister has held a summit in the national capital to listen to concerns and ideas on this issue from a group of Indigenous leaders.” -Dr. Jackie Huggins 9. Cozad - “Intertribal Two” (California Pow Wow Live) (00:31:38-00:36:10) 10. Eastern Eagle - “Kekunit” (It Gives Us Life: Pow Wow) (00:36:10-00:39:44) Roman Orona (Host) (00:39:44-00:40:45) “The true essence of reconciliation is more than making friends with non-indigenous people. Our motto is united Australia, one that respects the land and the heritage of its indigenous peoples and provides justice and equity for all. I think reconciliation is about changing the structures that govern us and trying to influence opinion leaders in whatever way we can.” -Dr. Jackie Huggins 11. Arouna & Biko - “Champion” (Badanaya Sira) (00:40:45-00:44:54) 12. ODUCHU - “Surguul” (The Healer) (00:44:54-00:48:00) PROGRAM BREAK (00:48:00-00:48:18) “For Indigenous Australians, equal rights and citizenship have not always translated into full participation in Australian society…” -Dr. Jackie Huggins 13. Cheevers Toopah - “Diné (Navajo)” (True Melodies) (00:48:18-00:53:33) 14. Tudjaat - “Qiugaviit” (Putumayo A Native American Odyssey) (00:53:33-00:55:00) Roman Orona (Host) (00:55:00 -00:57:26) “To my mind, you cannot speak about the need for leadership within our communities without being prepared to take on responsibility yourself. It's not enough to point the finger at those who have let us down and to expect others to come forward and fix our problems. Nor can anyone afford to call themselves a leader unless they truly have the interests of our community at heart. Too many people like to think they are leaders and too many are identified by the media as leaders who are not really leaders at all.” -Dr. Jackie Huggins 15. The Blue Stone Project - “John Doe” (Blue Stone) (00:57:26-01:02:00) DONATION ADVERTISEMENT (01:02:00-01:02:16) The Indigenous Cafe Podcast is hosted by Roman Orona and brought to you by iamHUMAN Media. iamHUMAN Media is a non-profit 501(c)(3) focused on raising the awareness of social discourse to all humans through development of programs and artistic ventures (music, movies, stage performances, books, workshops, concerts, film festivals, community outreach, community building, panel discussions, etc.) to foster and promote unity in diversity and community fellowship acknowledging that all HUMANs are related simply by being HUMAN. Below are ways to help us continue our programming or to learn more about us: https://paypal.me/iamHUMANmedia?locale.x=en_US Website: www.iamHUMANmedia.com Email: indigenouscafe1@gmail.com

Ep. 53: DuckTales (Woo-oo!)

Should They Watch It?

Play Episode Play 27 sec Highlight Listen Later Aug 9, 2022 55:54 Transcription Available

DuckTalesThe new iteration of DuckTales tracks the globetrotting adventures of Scrooge McDuck and his nephews Huey, Dewey, Louie and granddaughter, Webby. Donald Duck, Launchpad McQuack, and Mrs Beakley also make their returns to round out this this star-studded and entertaining cast. Also to return? Hijinks! But the plot is much more substantial.Did they Sing It?Kara has never been more excited to sing a theme song and the ladies sang over half of this one. If you've never seen this DuckTales theme animal mashup by Insane Cherry, please watch. The PositivesTalented voice acting cast and a witty, well-written show. The best-written and funniest show we've watched so far. The female character Webby, voiced by Kate Micucci, becomes a much more substantial and contributing character this time around. The hosts discuss Hollywood's penchant for “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” tropes or token characters like Chip N' Dale's Gadget, and why Webby defies these stereotypes to become one of the most interesting characters on the show.Scrooge's character is much more lovable and adventurous, while still maintaining the grumpy, opulent traits that make him the iconic feathered friend he is today. The boys have very distinct personalities, as compared to the original where viewers could only distinguish them by their t-shirt colors. Nostalgia! If you are a fan of the original DuckTales, you can rest assured that this version will not only entertain you with a combination of reminiscence and refreshment, but it's also a show you can enjoy with your children.Fluffy or EducationalFluffy as a duck feather, but very fun for adults and kids. Potentially ProblematicSome cultural references are for adult audiences and could fly over your children's heads, like the show's reconceptualization of the headless horse/man. Our trio of adventurous youth are not what you would call role models. Therefore, expect to see defiant behavior, lying, sneaking out, and pretty much unsupervised. Given what we know about a child's inclination to mimic defiant behavior, the fact that it's cartoon animals doing on pretty extravagant (beyond realistic belief) adventures, we think it's unlikely to cause issues, and concerned parents could just have a conversation with kiddos about what is and isn't appropriate behavior. Caillou on the other hand….Will parents like it?Kara: YesLaura: Yes Both ladies loved the nostalgia and laughed like crazy. The writers clearly targeted the parents when writing the show with some pop culture references and throwbacks to the original, which is appreciated. Should They Watch It?Kara: YesLaura: YesSide ConversationsTV has changed significantly with binging becoming the norm. Block programming and delayed gratification that came with TGIF, after school shows, and Saturday morning cartoons is all but gone. Kara and Laura discuss workplace inequality after Kara experiences a blatant career opportunity oversight because of her gender. Kara, a 25-year voice acting veteran, points to examples of how gender inequality has impacted her industry. Laura and Kara discuss examples of misogyny in the entertainment industry and the ladies agree that Kara should make some phone calls to address the issue. We are happy to see more female roles, more diverse roles, and truer to the part casting. We loved to see Nope star Keke Palmer

hollywood nostalgia gadgets scrooge tgif dewey keke palmer fluffy ducktales donald duck huey hijinks webby scrooge mcduck caillou manic pixie dream girl kate micucci sing it launchpad mcquack ducktales woo

Ep. 96 Following Christ through His Word with Hunter Beless

Following to Lead with Kevin East

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 26:57

In today's episode of Following to Lead, Kevin East chats with Hunter Beless, the founder and host of Journeywomen, the author of Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It, and a homeschooling mom who loves doing ministry in her local church context. Hunter and her husband, Brooks, have three amazing kiddos who memorize Scripture way faster than their mom! In this episode, they talk about helping kids hide God's word in their hearts and how she uses her time to help kids and women love Jesus. Do you know what it means to hide the word in your heart? Listen to this episode to find out. Follow Jesus Lead Differently. The Mentoring Alliance https://www.thementoringalliance.com/ For donations https://www.thementoringalliance.com/donate https://journeywomenpodcast.com/ Instagram: @journeywomenpodcast or @hunterbeless Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It! - https://www.hunterbeless.com/rsss Similar Episodes: Ep. 93 Preparing your children for the future with Allen Carter Ep. 72 • How to launch kids into their teenage years Ep. 53 • Parenting With Grace w/ Karis Kimmel Murray Ep. 43 • 5 Ways to Be An Intentional Parent

god jesus christ preparing scripture following christ say it see it read it sing it hunter beless journeywomen mentoring alliance

Unfiltered - Episode 4 - The S Word!

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 36:29

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall. We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens. Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the week. For this episode we're opening up even further and talking all things sexuality and the labels that come with it! This is a very nerve wracking waffle as its something Taylor hasn't discussed before on the show however it wouldn't be The Waffle Shop if we weren't pushing boundaries and sharing our vulnerabilities! This episode is all about being comfortable with yourself, going at a pace that suits you and ultimately a reminder that you deserve to be happy! If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you!

unfiltered taylor james sing it waffle shop

Unfiltered - Episode 3 - What Makes You Beautiful with Caprice!

beauty empowerment unfiltered taylor james sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2022 35:11

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall. We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens. Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the week. For this episode we're talking all things Beauty and Empowerment with supermodel Caprice! We have a good old waffle with one of the most photographed women in the world about her journey to become a supermodel as well as what beauty means to her! This episode left us feeling so inspired and empowered so I hope it does the same for you lovely lot! If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you!

Unfiltered - Episode 2 - Sex Ed, STIs and Sex Expert Sarah Mulindwa!

unfiltered sex education sex ed stis sex expert taylor james sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2022 36:40

Welcome to The Waffle Shop Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall. We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens. Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the week. For this episode we're talking all things Sex Education and the stigma surrounding STIs with expert and legend Sarah Mulindwa This episode has everything from education, entertainment and outrageous stories so we hope you like it! If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you!

Unfiltered - Episode 1 - Comfort Zones

comfort zone unfiltered zones taylor james sing it

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2022 32:51

HERE WE GOOOOOO Welcome to the first EVER episode of the highly anticipated Waffle Shop Unfiltered with your hosts Taylor James and Emma Tindall. We're going to be giving you the unfiltered chat around all the subjects which we think don't get enough air time; from sex fetishes, alien invasions and polyamory, to social media, conspiracy theories and hallucinogens. Each week Taylor and Emma will be joined by a different guest who is an expert on the chosen theme, intertwined with some fun segments including ‘Sing It or Sack It' and hearing from you guys about your woes and waffles of the week. For this first episode we're talking all things comfort zones - what they are, why they matter and when we need them most! If you enjoyed this ep please let us know on socials @waffleshoppodcast of @tindall2.0 or leave a review, we love to hear from you!

Hiding the Word in our hearts: A conversation with Hunter Beless

Two sisters & a cup of tea

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2022 30:44

As we hit the half way point in our Psalm 119 season, we take time to interview Hunter Beless, on what it looks like to hide God's word in our hearts.Hunter is the founder and host of Journeywomen, the author of Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It, and lives with her husband and 3 kids in Arkansaw.Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter!Click here if you'd like to receive monthly updates from us.In Other News…Connect with us Facebook, Instagram or TwitterSarah is blogging about Psalm 119 here: https://sarahdargue.orgFelicity blogs here: https://boysbooksandthehomeofthebrave.blog/ Email us: podcastingsisters@gmail.comSponsorship DetailsThis podcast is sponsored by 10ofthose.com. 10ofthose.com hand pick the best Christian books that point to Jesus and sell them at discounted prices. The more you buy the cheaper they get! Check them out at 10ofthose.com. 10ofThose are generously offering a further 15% discount across their store when you use the voucher code TWOSISTERS. You need to log in to their website, write the code in and then click apply when you get to checkout. Our partnership bookstore can be found hereWhether you're parenting small children, commuting to work or heading out for a run, join us for our Bible based podcast as two sisters do a 20 minute bible study, on the go, going through a book of the Bible week by week.

god jesus christ conversations bible psalm hearts hiding psalm 119 say it see it read it monthly newsletter sing it hunter beless arkansaw journeywomen 10ofthose

Guys & Dolls

madness sister sisters guys dolls musicals channing tatum brackets joseph gordon levitt mob museum sing it guys dolls

Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2022 67:13

Hello! This episode of Sing It, Sister! was recorded WAY back in March 2021. Please enjoy Clare and Ellen discussing (and dragging) Guys & Dolls and also tune in for an interactive experience...Guys & Guys, our version of March (May) Madness featuring men from musicals! Here is the link to fill out your own bracket! Show notes: Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 'Guys & Dolls' remake? Nickname Generator from the Mob Museum

Psalm 139 - Freedom Friday

jesus christ music psalm record psalm 139 moody bible institute freedom friday bill davis music program sing it

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 85:51

Today, on Karl and Crew Mornings, we concluded our weekly theme: "Sing It!". We discussed Psalm 139, and for Freedom Friday, songs of salvation. We heard from so many amazing stories this morning when we asked, "What song takes you back to a special moment in your walk with Christ?". For "Sing It" week, we highlighted Moody Bible Institute's Music Program, Kelli Worrall, who is professor and Field Chair for the Music and Media Arts Division. We also talked with Bill Davis, host of "Faith on Record" which airs 8-11pmCT on 90.1 FM. It features the classics from the 70's, 80's, and 90's. You can hear highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast by clicking the audio button below. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psalm 119

god psalm cleveland program directors loving god psalm 119 thy word sing it

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 46:27

Today, on Karl and Crew Mornings, we continued our weekly theme: "Sing It!". We discussed Psalm 119. It's written poetically and beautifully. Loving God's Word and commandments is a big overall theme. We also noted the familiar verse, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet." When was God's Word a light to your path? We also highlighted another of Moody Broadcasting's music stream stations, Urban Praise, with Program Director, Effie Rolfe. In addition, there's a new podcast series debuting today called "The Grandfather Effect" with host Brian Dahlen (Moody morning host in Cleveland). Brian shared details on this unique new endeavor. You can hear highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast by clicking the audio button below. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psalm 51

god psalm praise king david program directors psalm 51 sing it

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 47:19

Today, on Karl and Crew Mornings, we continued our weekly theme: "Sing It!". We discussed Psalm 51, which was penned by King David following his terrible sin against Uriah and Bathsheba, as found in 2 Samuel 11. What do you do when you've blown it? We've all sinned....we've all been where David was for our own transgressions. Psalm 51 is a perfect example of owning what one has done, recognizing who God is, asking for forgiveness, and true repentence. It also includes one of the most famous verses, "Create in me a clean heart, O' God." For "Sing It" week, we also highlighted a couple of our 24/7 music stream stations of Moody Broadcasting: the Praise and Worship Channel(contemporary) and Majesty Radio(hymns and retro favorites). Our guest was Joe Pitt, Program Director for Moody Radio Digital. You can hear highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast by clicking the audio button below. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psalm 42

god psalm coordinators psalm 42 moody bible institute mbi sing it

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 42:32

Today, on Karl and Crew Mornings, we continued our weekly theme: "Sing It!". We discussed Psalm 42, and the power of getting in touch with our emotions. Where does our help come from? Where does your help come from? What can we learn about our emotions from Psalm 42? It's vital to remember God's faithfulness. We also talked with David Gauger II, Coordinator of Instrumental Instruction at Moody Bible Institute and professional trumpeteer. For "Sing It" week, we wanted to highight MBI's musical and vocal groups. You can hear highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast by clicking the audio button below. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psalm 23

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 47:15

Today, on Karl and Crew Mornings, we kicked off our new weekly theme: "Sing It!". We are going to be highlighting the Psalms everyday, and today we discussed Psalm 23. It's a familiar Psalm of comfort and protection. We all need a loving shepherd, even King David, and we have one in Jesus Christ! Our guest was Jamie Janosz, Managing Editor and Contributor of "Today in the Word". Today in the Word is a free daily devotional from the Moody Bible Institute, The theme for May is "I Lift My Eyes - a Study in Psalms". It can be mailed, emailed, and there's a interactive App as well. You can hear highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast by clicking the audio button below. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

jesus christ study psalm psalms app king david psalm 23 contributors managing editors moody bible institute sing it jamie janosz

My Fair Lady