English comedian
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The Grand Knockout Tournament (also known as It's a Royal Knockout) was a one-off charity event first shown on BBC1 on 19th June 1987, to an audience of 18 million gobsmacked viewers. The brainchild of the then 23 year old Prince Edward, the slapstick spectacle featured the Princess Royal and the Duke and Duchess of York captaining rival teams in a series of preposterous rounds involving celebrities including Rowan Atkinson, Tom Jones, Cliff Richard, John Travolta and Les Dawson. In this episode, Arion, Rebecca and Olly recall Fergie's feelings of shame, blame and betrayal; discover the extraordinary cast of characters gathered at this bizarre occasion; and explain why Meat Loaf and Prince Andrew did not see eye-to-eye… Further Reading: • ‘Remembering The TV Disaster That Was It's A Royal Knockout' (Grazia, 2020): https://graziadaily.co.uk/celebrity/news/royal-knockout-anne-edward-andrew/ • ‘It's a royal cock-up' (The Guardian, 2002): https://www.theguardian.com/media/2002/mar/05/themonarchy.broadcasting • ‘The Grand Knockout Tournament' (BBC, 1987): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwkv0-QlbZY This episode first aired in 2021 Love the show? Support us! Join
Jon put together a unique show with music, comedy and the piano over twenty years ago and became one of the most sought after entertainers in the cruise and corporate industry before appearing on Britain's Got Talent in 2020 where the hosts Ant and Dec awarded him their Golden Buzzer. He then went on to be the Judges Choice in the semi- final and then the first ever Golden Buzzer act to win the whole show. The following year Jon was awarded Best Performer at the National Reality Television Awards in London.Jon has since appeared on The Royal Variety Show, Britain's Got Talent Christmas Special, Good Morning Britain, This Morning, Lorraine, Radio 2 and BBC Breakfast often performing original songs written for the moment. He composed and performed the opening song for the ITV Panto, the re-opening of Wembley Steps, The Michael Ball Show on BBC Radio 2 and The End of the Show Show for Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway plus made a guest appearance on Les Dawson, The Lost Tapes documentary on ITV.Jon wrote and performed a one-man musical ‘Against The Odds' at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to great acclaim and returned the following year with a sell-out show, ‘Mental Flavour'. He recently completed his second hugely successful UK theatre tour.
This month Joff & Geoff are reminiscing about the past and what made them happy. Across a jam packed 30 minutes there are references to Bagpipes in music, Les Dawson, Swanage, Antiques Roadshow and Larry Grayson?! If you have a topic you'd like Joff & Geoff to discuss please send an email to team@shineradio.uk or contact us via our website at https://shineradio.ukSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
She's had the organist. Now she wants the Vicar.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mia weakly raised her hand and switched off the shower."That was amazing, Gordy-pie. Organists really are good with their hands!""Not so bad yourself," he panted. "Wow. I enjoyed that immensely! You're quite a lass, Mia.""I'd like to see you play the organ," she said, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel."I need to get my breath back first!" He laughed, as Mia began playfully drying him off. "God, you're an eager little beaver aren't you?""Hee hee. Yes, but what I meant was, I'd like to see you play the church organ. I've not been inside a church for years. Jenna said that St Michael's is cool.""It's a nice church." I wonder what else she's told her? Gordon thought. "Why not come along to the Sunday service? You can see me in action there, so to speak. After the service, you can have a go on the organ if you'd like. Do you play any musical instruments?""Guitar and violin, but I've not practiced for ages.""Ah, so strings are your thing? That's good. It'd be nice to have a violinist in the choir. One of the choristers plays the trumpet. Which keeps him from singing and I'm glad of it as his voice is bloody awful."Mia sniggered. "You're funny, Gordy-pie. I really like you. Are all organists as fun as you?""Nay lass. I'm one of a kind. He pulled her close and kissed her neck and lips. He was an incredible kisser, and she was curious to know more about him."Are you married?""Long divorced," came his reply. "I'm married to the pipe organ, as they say." He wondered if Jenna had mentioned anything about their various liaisons over the past year, and was about to say something, when the bathroom door suddenly opened."Jen! Ever thought of knocking before entering?" Mia gasped, covering herself with a towel."I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" She turned to Gordon, who grinned sheepishly at her."Um, hello!""Funny place to have organ lessons, Gordon," Jenna said, as she watched him squirm."Gordy-pie was just showing me how good an organist is with his hands, weren't you?" Mia said, kissing him. "And you know what, he's amazing!""Oh I'm well aware of how good he is," Jenna replied, folding her arms.Sensing disapproval, Gordon attempted to explain. "It just happened. I didn't know your cousin was here," he prattled. "I put the plant pots in the yard, went into the kitchen and she was just there, wearing nothing but a towel!""You don't need to explain yourself, Gordy-pie. We've not done anything wrong," Mia said. "We're both single. Why are you so uptight, Jenna? Is it because we're in the vicarage? Is that like, a sin or something?"Jenna was in no position to claim the moral high ground. "No, no of course not. I was, just a bit surprised, that's all. It's fine. Just, try to be a bit more discreet, Mia. What if Simon had walked in?""Oh I'm sure the good reverend would approve," Gordon smiled, winking at her.The perceptive Mia noticed his gesture and wondered what he was hinting at."Jenna took a deep breath. "Okay, well I'm going to have a coffee. I'll leave you to get dressed. Do you want a drink, Gordon?""A tea would be lovely. I'm parched. Thanks!""I'll have tea as well, please." Mia added.Jenna left the bathroom."She's acting weird," Mia said. "There's something she's not telling me."Oh boy, wait until you find out, Gordon thought. Your mind will be blown."Maybe she's a bit envious!" Gordon said as he picked up his clothes, and wondered where his underpants had gone."Can I keep these, Gordy-pie?" Mia giggled, holding up his white briefs."Think they're too big for you!""I don't want to wear them. I want to keep them under my pillow and sniff them at night.""In that case, they're all yours! But I want your knickers in return!""Fair's fair!" She tossed him her pale pink cotton undies to him."Thanks!""I loved our shower time," Mia said, kissing him again. "And I loved your big cock. You're a sexy man, Gordy-pie.""Gordy-pie hopes Mia-pie can play with his organ again very soon!" the organist replied as they got dressed and headed downstairs.Jenna brought them both a cup of tea as they sat down in the lounge."Gordon, you're not going to put up with her calling you that cringey nickname are you?" she said, handing him the cup."I like it. It's cute," he said, as Mia rested her head on his shoulder."It's childish. If someone had called you that a year ago, you'd have bitten their head off. You used to have a terrible temper.""Ah well that was before I saw the light," he said, sipping his tea. "When you, showed me the way." He smiled at Jenna as she sat opposite them. "For that, you know I am forever grateful," he added."Did you become a born again Christian like Jenna, Gordy-pie?" Mia asked."I've always been a Christian," Gordon replied. "I just sin a lot, that's all. As we all do, right?" He raised an eyebrow at the vicar's wife. "But we keep praying for forgiveness every week, and luckily for us, God is the forgiving sort, eh?"The front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Good lord, I need a large brandy!" He gasped, tossing the car keys on the table."What I have seen, can't be unseen, and what I've heard, can't be unheard!""Whatever's the matter Simon?" Jenna said, standing up."You were right, Jen. Gladys Wilcox and the churchwarden. They're, at it!""Told you so," Jenna said. "Actual sex? I'm not being ageist but can Gladys manage that at her age?""No. Regular vanilla sex would've been easier to deal with. Actually, I think gerbilling would be easier to deal with. But seeing Norman, naked in her backyard, wearing a pinny and being struck on his arse with a riding crop,”Jenna cleared her throat, trying to silence him, given that they had company." She treats him like a slave and he enjoys it!" The vicar continued, unaware there was an audience. "And there's more. She knows about the storeroom threesome, and you won't believe this, she proudly told me, that sometime during Lent, she performed oral sex on Gordon.""Ahem. Simon, shush, we've got," Jenna cringed. "Wait, what? She gave Gordon oral?"Mia's jaw dropped."Sucked him off whilst he was sat at the church organ! She'd wanted him to be her slave, but he declined. So she set her sights on Norman instead. Well we both know Gordon prefers a younger woman, right?" He turned round, and noticed Gordon sat on the settee, and Mia sat next to him."Oh, good afternoon Gordon!""I brought those plant pots you wanted," the organist meekly uttered.Later,Jenna and Reverend Morris sat on the settee watching an episode of Father Brown, although neither were really paying attention to it."I can't get that image out of my head. Gladys giving Gordon a blowjob and whipping Norman's bare buttocks. I know we've, engaged in some naughtiness, but I never imagined one of the oldest members of the church was into that sort of thing!""Good for her," Jenna replied. "Kinkiness aside, it's nice for her to have Norman as a lodger. I mean, she lives alone and in this day and age, older people can feel vulnerable. I know Gladys misses her hubby a lot.""Oh Bert. Yes. He was dead long before I came to St Michaels. Bishop George told me more about him. He was the organist before Gordon took over. Apparently he was quite a character.""I'm sure he was. And the current organist seems to be going the same way.""Jen, you seem a bit unhappy about Gordon having intercourse with your cousin today. Is that because you're protective of her or because of, well, I know how close you are to him?"Jenna sighed. "Oh Simon. I'm ashamed of myself. I actually felt jealous when I saw the two of them together. How selfish is that? After everything you did for me last year when it was my birthday, and you gladly accepted my dalliances with the other male members of the church. Can you forgive me? I wish to say a prayer of forgiveness."The vicar took his wife's hands in his. "Of course I can, my love. And I understand how you feel. You see, with Mia here, I think you've got something you've never had to deal with before.""What's that?""A rival!"Mia was eavesdropping from the staircase. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she listened."Holy shit, Jenna's had more men than Elton John's had wigs. She had the nerve to have a go at me for seducing Tom. And she's slept with Gordon too? No wonder she looked so tense. Ha! And sweet, Reverend Simon is okay with that? That's not what it teaches in the Bible, surely?"She slipped back to her bedroom."Let us pray together," Reverend Morris said."Father, I return to You with my sins before me. Nowadays, I lack compassion for my brother and sisters, my eyes are clouded with wrongdoings my heart is against. Opposing Your Words, I sinned and done evil in Your eyes. I drained myself off Your kindness and followed my worldly desires. Father, guide me as You are right in Your verdict and justified in Your judgment. Do not leave me astray as I pray for a blissful life with You and a life free of evil. In Your Mercy, I pray.Amen."-(Luke 15:18, Psalm 51:3-4)"I feel better," Jenna said, opening her eyes. She ran a finger down her husband's cheek. "Simon, let's go to bed. Mia's asleep. The guest bedroom is right at the other end of the landing. She won't hear us. Tonight I need my Vicar's touch,”"What a good idea! All this talk of Gladys Wilcox getting her hands on men's dicks, I'd quite like some hands on mine!"A Girl With FantasiesMia lay back on the bed in the darkness, her mind buzzing with the events of the day. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out the pair of Gordon's briefs."Enjoyed you, Gordy-pie! You were a total sweetie."She sighed, pressing the crotch of the underwear against her nose and inhaling deeply, whilst fingering herself with her other hand. Gordon's undies bore a pleasant, musky, manly scent, a faint mark which she assumed was pre-cum, and a couple of wiry grey pubic hairs. Perfect. Knowing that the organist's thick cock had been snugly contained within was enough to make her climax again. She wondered if he was wanking off and sniffing her knickers."Hope he likes mine too." She wanted to see the organist again, as sex with him had been amazing, but Mia had her sights set on a bigger prize - and this one wore a clerical collar.InsomniaGordon was in bed, but having difficulty sleeping. His mind was a complete whirl. He reflected how in the past year, he'd gone from being completely sex-starved, to having more sex than he'd ever had during a whole fifteen years of marriage, and during his late teens, when he'd been a horny youth, desperate to sleep with any woman. In the Eighties, those halcyon pre-Internet days, just stumbling across a discarded porn magazine in the bushes was more valuable than gold. He remembered his time at university, when he used to spy on the nurses undressing at a nearby hospital.He chuckled as he remembered losing his virginity to his piano teacher - whilst she was giving him a tour of Blackpool Tower ballroom. He credited her with starting his interest in wanting to play organs,"Look at me now," he said out loud. "I got seduced by a woman young enough to be my daughter. Who is now the vicar's wife. I fucked a Ukrainian woman in the church. I've been fucking the vicar's wife every week in the church. I took part in a threesome with her and the vicar. I and several other men gave her a facial in the church. I got my dick sucked by an eighty-six year old pensioner too. Now I'm fucking the eighteen-year old cousin of the vicar's wife, and exchanging underwear with her."He reached for the pair of pink knickers and gave them a good sniff, stroking his cock at the same time. The crotch had dried, but earlier it had been wet and sticky with Mia's pussy juices. A heavenly scent."The world is a bloody mess right now, but I'd say my life is pretty good," he smiled. "I hope Mia wants to see me again. She's a lovely, horny little thing. I hope she comes to church this Sunday."He wanked himself off happily, before slipping into a blissful slumber. For the first time in a year, he dreamt of a woman other than Jenna.Mia's DelightMia was edging closer to an orgasm as she continued to pleasure herself. Gordon's briefs pressed against her face were having the desired effect, but oh, God, she wished she had a large dildo as well. Her sopping pussy was aching to be filled again.Hearing muffled laughter on the landing, brought her back to her senses. The sound of a bedroom door closing. More laughter.She slid off the bed and wiped her hand on her t-shirt. Tiptoeing to the door, she opened it, and listened. The inky darkness of the landing was disturbed by a light under Jenna's bedroom door.With the stealth of a cat, Mia slunk down the landing. Standing in front of the door, the sounds from within were clearer. The creak of a bedframe. The headboard bumping against the wall. The low moans of the reverend, followed by the higher pitched gasps of Jenna.She bit her lip as she listened to their carnal sounds. Squinting, she peered through the keyhole. The tiny opening barely allowed an interested voyeur to see a thing, but just briefly, she glimpsed Reverend Morris' bare backside rising and falling. Lying between her cousin's legs which, likewise entirely bare, were extended straight upwards into the air."Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna, in, the, Highest Heavens!" Reverend Morris yelled, to which Jenna responded by screaming in ecstasy.Mia clamped her hand against her mouth to stifle a laugh. At the same time, her pussy tingled like crazy. That the good vicar quoted Biblical phrases during sex, turned her on in a way she never expected."I am coming soon! Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown!"This quote from the Book of Revelation proved too much, and seconds later, Jenna climaxed, with a scream.Mia tried to remain silent as she too, came. With a wildly beating heart, she shuffled back to her bedroom."I want him. I want Reverend Morris to fuck me like that."Reverend Morris is seduced, but can he satisfy her?Lightning flashed, followed by a crash of thunder so powerful it rattled the kitchen windows. The storm began not with a sprinkle or drizzle but with a sudden downpour, as if clouds were hollow structures that could shatter like eggshells and spill their entire contents at once. So far, July was proving far less flaming than June."Blimey," Reverend Morris said, as the rain made him look up from his laptop. "Not a good start to Mia's first day in her new job, is it?""A bit of summer rain won't bother her," Jenna replied. "Her mind's probably fixated on Gordon.""Heh, give her some credit, Jen. She's shown initiative. I think she'll work hard and be a good cleaner for the church. She did an excellent job tidying up our kitchen.""That's true. She should be about finished in around twenty minutes. Ten hours a week isn't much. I wonder what her long-term plans are? I mean, she can't clean the church hall toilets for the rest of her life can she? And I must phone Aunt Kathleen, I keep putting it off. She'll go berserk when she finds out what's happened."Reverend Morris sipped his coffee. "Have faith in her, Jen. She's chosen this path for herself. And as my dad always says, never put off until tomorrow what can be done today. Right, I have to pop over to the church. I'll check in on Mia and see if she's okay with setting the alarm system. Don't know if she wants some lunch with us or if she has plans of her own?"Jenna picked up the phone. "She didn't say. Okay, I'm going to bite the bullet and phone Aunt Kathleen."In the church hall, Jenna had finished using the floor-polishing machine on the wooden floor. The two hours had flown by. As well as making the floor spotless after this morning's yoga class, she'd cleaned the toilets and emptied the bins. The work was boring, as the vicar had warned her, but an absolute doddle. For £12 an hour, she couldn't complain. It was the easiest cash she'd ever earned. It was far better than stacking shelves in Aldi and having to deal with abusive members of the public. The church toilets hadn't been the horror show she'd braced herself for - even the gents were reasonable. The good chaps of St Michaels had good manners and good aim it would seem!Outside, more thunder boomed. The sound of the rain. The rain. The cold merciless sound of the rain."Ugh," Mia muttered, looking out of the window. "I hate weather like this."It was typical British weather. The storm had washed all the color out of the day. The sky was as charry as burnt-out ruins. Wind-driven rain, grey as iron nails, hammered every surface, and road gutters overflowed with filthy water.Mia returned the machine to the store cupboard and locked it. She checked her phone. Nearly 1 o'clock.The sound of the main door opening made her jump."Oh Reverend Simon!""Hello Mia. Just checking to see how you're getting on. Have you finished?""Yes, I'm done. I was just going to set the alarm thingy." She noticed how wet his black shirt was."Great stuff, you're okay with setting it?""Oh no worries there.""Little tip if you're working in the hall by yourself, be sure to lock the main door. Anyone could walk in. We're lucky we don't get a lot of crime round here, but for your own safety, it's best to lock yourself in. There are lots of places someone could hide. Right, well I'm just heading into the church to sort a few things out ready for the curate's ordination on Sunday. Jenna's prepared some lunch if you're hungry, oh and be warned, she's phoning your mum.""What? Oh no! Why's she doing that?" Mia pouted."Look, don't panic, she's just letting her know that your safe and well and staying with us. You don't want your poor parents to be worrying themselves to death not knowing where you've gone do you?""Well no. But I don't want Mum turning up.""I don't think you need to worry. Your mum lives in Buxton doesn't she? That's a good fifty miles from here. I don't think she'll drive up here today. But at some point you'll have to speak to her."Mia looked down. "I like it here. I don't want to go back to my parents. Of course, I don't want to be a burden to you,”"You're no burden Mia, please don't think that. If you want to talk, why not join me in the church when you've finished locking up?" He left the hall and Mia took that as an open invitation."Oh I'll join you, Vicar, but I want to do more than talk!"A few minutes later, having successfully set the alarm, Mia dashed over to the church, trying to avoid getting soaked by the rain. The ancient oak door's handle turned stubbornly. She wondered why Reverend Morris hadn't bothered to lock himself in either, then she remembered something Jenna had said about the church "always having to be open for those in need."And Mia was in need all right.Reverend Morris was in the vestry, having just changed out of his damp shirt and into a dry one. He'd donned his regular cassock and surplice, as he always did when in the church, even though he was off duty. He inspected the row of church vestments on the clothes rail. Some items were missing. Some members of the choir weren't the tidiest, and often neglected to hang their surplices back up after the services.Mia walked down the aisle of St Michael's church, glancing round. The incessant pounding of rain on the roof seemed magnified here in this old, airy building. Then the organ pipes to the right of the altar caught her eye. The highly-polished silver colored pipes reflected what little light was shining through the stained glass windows."Impressive," she muttered, admiring the many pipes. "But where are its, keyboards? No wait, manuals. He called them manuals." She looked round, and noticed the organ console behind the pulpit."Ah!"Mia walked over to it. She ran her hand down the wooden stool. "So this is where Gordy-pie sits." Giving a little mischievous giggle, she looked round. There was no sign of Reverend Morris anywhere, so she slid herself onto the stool."Look at this thing. It's like, unreal. All these buttons and stuff It's like a flight deck." Her feet touched the organ's pedalboard. "How the hell does he remember all these? She looked closely at some of the stops. They all had weird-sounding names on them. Diapason, Mixture, Gemshorn."I wonder what these knobs do?" She switched on the small lamp above the manuals, in order to get a better look.Curiosity got the better of her and she fiddled with a couple of stops and pressed a few keys on the lower manual. Nothing happened, seeing as the organ was switched off."Hmm, must be like an electronic piano." She idly pressed down several more keys, pretending to play."Witness the great maestro Mia at work," she said out loud, putting on a fake Geordie accent to mimic presenters, Ant and Dec. "Here on Britain's Got Talent, Mia will now play some of her favorite songs for the audience. Starting with Titanium by David Guetta!" She flung her arms around, as though conducting an orchestra, and accidentally hit the red on/off button above the manuals."This is being live-streamed. Be sure to vote!" Mia slammed her fingers down hard on the middle manual. "I am Titanium!"The organ responded at once, with a deep, radiant sound that seemed to rattle the entire foundations of the church. It was so loud, the stool seemed to vibrate."Shit!!" Mia gasped as she got the shock of her life. Fearing she'd damaged the organ, she panicked and froze on the spot.In the vestry, Reverend Morris had finished re-arranging the vestments, when the booming note from the organ shattered his peace and quiet."What the," He almost jumped out of his skin. "Bloody hell, Gordon. You sure pick your moments to come and practice."When nothing but silence followed that ear-splitting note, he headed out of the vestry to investigate.Mia's fingers were trembling. "Fuck, what did I do?""Well, well. What do we have here?" Reverend Morris chuckled as he appeared beside the console."Eep! I didn't mean to, Simon. I was just, I,”"Ha, it's alright, don't panic!" He said."I caught something and it made that noise.""You managed to switch it on, that's all!" He indicated the red button."Oh, so it's not broken then?" Mia said, getting her breath back."No, of course not. It's seen a lot of heavy use. It can cope with a lot!""It looks so complicated. How does Gordon play it?""With ease, because he's had years of practice. Jenna's just learned to play it, and said how hard it was. No use asking me. I haven't a clue. I'm not musically talented it all. In fact I'll tell you something. I can't even read music.""Really?" Mia replied."I'm hopeless," the vicar continued. "Jenna's tried to introduce me to the piano, but I've got poor co-ordination. My fingers go all over the place. My attempts sounded like Les Dawson."Mia blinked. "Who?""Never mind. He's from before your time." He pressed down a couple of the organ's keys and made a feeble attempt at playing a few notes."Gordon says you have to use your whole body when playing a pipe organ." Mia said, giving him a dreamy grin."He's right, you do.""Do you have to use your whole body when preaching to the congregation, Simon?""Ah, well that depends," he said, switching off the organ and the lamp. "I definitely have to keep my mind focused. Especially during the sermon.""I can imagine. I bet you're amazing. I like your church robes.""Oh thanks! It's called a cassock and surplice. Um, why not come to the Sunday service if you're curious? You don't need to take communion if you're not comfortable.""I've been confirmed," Mia replied. "I'm okay with that.""It's the curate's ordination service on Sunday afternoon too. "That will be quite a spectacle. The Bishop will be performing the ceremony. We're expecting lots of people to attend. Afterwards there'll be a buffet in the hall. Nice social occasion. There'll be more people your own age there."Mia shrugged. "I'm not mad keen on people my own age," she said."I see. Well, Gordon will be there, so that's a reason to attend, surely?" Reverend Morris cleared his throat. "You like him a lot, don't you?""Oh yes. He is lovely. He's really sexy! But you know what? You're sexy too. I hope it's not a sin to compliment a vicar in church?"The flustered reverend's cheeks turned pink. "Oh not at all! Very kind of you to say, Mia."Yes, very sexy,” she purred, and without hesitating, stood up and kissed him on the lips."M-Mia, what are you doing?" Reverend Morris spluttered, backing away.She ignored his question and slipped her arms round his shoulders. "I am worshipping you, Reverend Simon. Like I said, I think you're really sexy,”"B-but, but, I am a married man!" He stammered.Mia breathed in the scent of his aftershave. "And? Jenna's a married woman, yet she seems to have slept with half of the men of this church. And you're like, okay with that?""Did Jenna tell you all this?" He gasped. This time, he made no attempt to free himself from her grasp."She didn't need to. I overheard.""You shouldn't eavesdrop, Mia.""Yes I know, but come on. Seriously? What kind of open marriage do you guys have? Is that church rules or something? How can you be cool with that?"Reverend Morris still made no attempt to move. "Well it's not like you think. I love Jenna so much. I just fell for her big time. She had quite effect on the men of this church when she first started attending, not just me. I was trapped in a sexless marriage at the time. I er, thought the first time we had sex, it was a wild one-off."This explanation failed to satisfy Mia. "And Gordon?""The thing with Gordon, well before Jenna came along, he was a very unhappy, angry man. She made him feel happier than he had been in years. And the choir were beyond grateful for his change in personality, let me tell you.""I see. So Jen just has this natural talent for seducing all these lonely men and cheering them up? A gift from God? In that case, what I'm doing isn't a sin then is it?"She kissed the vicar again, longer and harder."Mia, wait!" He protested. "I can't,”"Of course you can, Reverend Simon. "You've been so kind to me, letting me stay at the vicarage and getting me this job. It's time I repaid that kindness.""Yes, but, I thought you liked Gordon!""I do like Gordon. I just like you too. Don't you find me attractive, just like you find Jenna attractive?"He would've been lying if he'd said no, and his erection was already proof."Yes. You're beautiful," Reverend Morris said, running a finger down her cheek. "Such smooth skin,” Instinctively, he bent down and pressed his lips against hers."Heavenly,”Mia unbuttoned her top, and guided his hands to her small and beautiful tits for him to squeeze and play with."Give me a blessing, Reverend," Mia whispered.The vicar took her hand, led her into the vestry and quoted a passage from Numbers."May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord's face shine upon you and be gracious to you, may the Lord turn his face to you and bring you peace.""Amen," Mia said. After a brief silence, something seemed to snap in Reverend Morris, and he cast off his reluctance."Let me get your legs," he whispered, his voice quavering a bit with sexual tension.Stroking from the knee down, to start. Then Mia felt his holy hands open and slide up the back of her thighs, pushing her skirt up."Spread your legs a bit."His thumbs caressed her inner thigh, and came close, oh so close to her pussy. She wasn't wearing any underwear and he bent down to smell her sex. His thumbs tantalizingly close. Now his hands were on her arse. Seductive massage, strokes, and squeezes nearly sent Mia over the edge. She moaned."Oh yes," he breathed. "Praise the Lord,”Mia's hands roamed across his surplice, and her eagerness surprised him. "Hold on a sec," he said, removing the garment, and starting to unbutton his cassock. When it was open, his black trousers were revealed, along with a straining bulge. She squeezed his hard arse cheeks and pulled him against her. His cock throbbed. Mia unfastened his belt and unzipped his trousers. Seconds later, she pulled his boxer shorts down.He groaned when she took his hot cock into her warm hand, cupping his balls with her other. His cock was thick and of decent length, though not, she noted as big as Gordon's or Tom's. Gordon's was the biggest of the lot. Mia couldn't help be a little disappointed, though of course what one did with something was what counted, not the size.I wonder if this is why Jenna goes with all the other church guys, because Reverend Simon just isn't enough to satisfy her? She thought."Mia, I can't hold back, do you want me to bless you properly or not?""Yes Reverend Simon, I want you to purify me! I need you to fuck me!"Mia wrapped her leg around him, opening up for his cock. He rubbed the head of it on her clit. Reverend Morris was out of control now and she let him take her how he wanted. He entered her and pounded her hard on the vestry's small wooden table.Mia rode his cock and enjoyed his thrusts, but, as good as it felt, the vicar wasn't satisfying her in the way Gordon had done.How can this be? She thought, as her cousin's husband continued thrusting fast and hard into her, grunting as he did so.It must be because he's just not old enough for me, she mused. After all, he's only forty! Still, I've achieved what I wanted to do. I wanted to experience sex with a vicar, and a married one at that. And I've finally got my own back on Jenna after all these years,"Oh Mia I'm cumming!" Reverend Morris slammed into her for one last time and shot his load deep inside her."Well,” Reverend Morris said, after he'd got his breath back. "I hope you enjoyed that Mia. I certainly did, I can't believe I did that."Mia was about to say something, but at that moment, the vestry door opened and Jenna appeared.For a few moments there was nothing but stunned silence."Mia, why? Why Simon?""Now we're even, Jen," Mia said with a wink."Even?""Remember all those years ago when we were at primary school and I was in love with that older boy, Darren Grimshaw?""Er, what?""You knew how much I fancied him.""Mia, you were only ten at the time. You had a bit of an innocent crush.""Well at the time it felt like true love. And you had to muscle in and ruin it. He took you out to Burger King instead of asking me. I was so upset at the time. I vowed that one day, I'd get my own back!""Uh, yeah. I do remember you saying that, now I recall. So, this is your idea of getting your own back, is it? Seducing my husband, in his church?""Jen, you can't really complain. You've seduced half the men of this church!"Reverend Morris looked sheepishly at them both. "Look, I didn't say anything, she overheard us talking!"Jenna took a deep breath. "You're right, Mia. Guess I'm nothing but a hypocrite there. But where do we go from here?"Mia turned to Reverend Morris. "I've seen the light. And had a revelation. And the truth is, vicars just don't float my boat after all. No offence, Reverend Simon. You were really great. But, you're too young for me. Give me a gorgeous older organist any day! I've already found my perfect man and his name is Gordon!""Lucky Gordon," Jenna said at last."Jen, I want you to promise me one thing. I'll never lay a finger on your vicar again, if you'll promise not to get it on with Gordon again."Jenna's face suddenly fell. "What?"Reverend Morris nodded. "Fair's fair, Jen. And you don't need any more organ lessons - you can play the organ perfectly fine now."Jenna thought for a moment, remembering all the fun times she'd had with Gordon - they'd engaged in some fantastic sex over the past year, and at Easter, she'd got the impression his feelings were becoming stronger than just mere lust."Okay, I promise.""Make it a proper promise. We're in church, remember?""In the name of God, I promise," Jenna said."That's better.""Right, now that we've got that out of the way, how about we all go and have some lunch?" Reverend Morris said, fastening his trousers and belt. "I've worked up quite an appetite!"Jenna shook her head as she watched Mia head down the church aisle in front of them."Is she seriously going to ask Gordon to be her boyfriend? He's so much older than her.""Just like I am to you," Reverend Morris replied."Yes but it's double the age gap that we have. What if Mia wants kids ten years from now? Gordon will be in his mid-sixties! He doesn't have any kids of his own. Can you see him being a dad?""I think he'd be a great dad. You're assuming Mia will want to be a mum. Lots of women choose not to have children these days.""Guess you're right.""Isn't it great, all the people of our church and nearby churches have met someone? I've got you, Josh has hooked up with Yulia. Father Aiden has Róisín. Norman's moved in with Gladys, now there's an odd couple, but they're happy! My ex-wife Lucy married Debbie. Gordon's got your cousin, before you arrived, all these people were unhappy. I'd say your work is done, my love!"They walked down the aisle, hand in hand.Privately, however, Jenna smirked to herself."My work isn't fully done. At least I still have Bishop George, Gordon's cousin Barry, Mayor Buckingham and a few other chaps!"By Blacksheep, for Literotica.
Jenna elevates the ceremonies by supporting the men in need.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A Royal carry-on at the Cathedral.The King's coronation was only a few weeks away. Lots of different events were planned, and the church of St. Michael's was no exception.At St. Michael's vicarage, Reverend Morris was preparing to attend a very important concert at Liverpool cathedral, which was going to be filmed by the team from the popular religious TV programmer, Songs of Praise.Reverend Morris sniggered as he read an online newspaper headline."17th century diary reveals local vicar had an 11 inch penis.""I bet he was popular!" He said to his wife.Jenna laughed. "11 inches? Wow, that is impressive. Of course, it's not the size, it's what you do with it that counts.""Oh yes. I agree completely!" He put down his phone. "Right that's enough of that. We must get ready to leave. Gosh, I'm really looking forward to this concert! It's a real honor for us to have been invited to attend. His Majesty has been visiting several cathedrals this week."I'm excited too. Will we actually get a chance to speak to the King?""Perhaps, Jen. Not sure if he'll come round and speak to all of us, maybe a lucky few on the front row, eh?""Oh good. Must say, I'm relieved that pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Simon. I'd just got struck down with a stomach bug. I mean, I want to be a mum one day, but not yet. I'm not ready for such a big responsibility just yet, bringing a new life into the world.""You're only twenty-one, Jen. You've got plenty of time. Enjoy the best years of your life! And I just know you'll be a wonderful mum one day. I want us to enjoy our child when the time comes. You're so good with Christopher when he stays over."She nodded and thought to herself. After all, I feel I still have a lot of God's work to do, helping the men of the church.She wasn't the only one who was relieved. Gordon the organist was overjoyed too. Though after a private meeting with the vicar's wife in church last week, he confessed that he would've "pulled out all the stops" to support her, if it turned out he was the father. Thankfully, the status quo had been restored, and much to his delight, he and Jenna had resumed their weekly "organ practice" on Thursday nights.Gordon had been tempted to confess a whole load of other things to her, but had held back, when he got the impression she'd already figured out the strength of his feelings, and that put his mind at ease.Edward Hardwick was nervous. He was standing in for the regular organist at Liverpool, who'd been struck down with a bad case of flu. Edward knew he had big shoes to fill, as the man he was standing in for was a highly respected musician, with countless accolades and credits to his name."It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a regular Sunday service, but why did it have to be a concert where the King will be in attendance? All eyes will be on me. Songs of Praise will be filming. I'm not sure I can cope with this,”Edward was a brilliant young organist, but was prone to periods of self-doubt and nervousness. At twenty-eight, he was still a bit of a greenhorn, compared to the other organists he'd encountered, and had only just landed his first full-time organist job. The small parish church outside Liverpool where he was now the official organist, was a world away from this massive cathedral.Edward was sure a more experienced organist and choirmaster could've been found to perform here, but the clergy seemed convinced that he was ideal to take on the job. He took comfort from that. He must be doing something good if they'd put this much faith in him. And playing at the cathedral for a coronation concert would look very good on his resume.Later,"What a beautiful building this is, Jenna marveled as she and Reverend Morris took their seats in the cathedral ready for the concert. Jenna wore a black skirt suit with a white cotton blouse. Simon was in clerical black, wearing a blazer for travel to Liverpool."I've been to Liverpool loads of times but never visited the cathedral. I wonder if Father Aiden has been here? He used to be based at Liverpool before he came to our town.""Yes I think he's attended a few services here. That reminds me, I must email him sometime and see how he's getting on at the Living Earth Free Church. Last I heard, he'd got engaged to Róisín.""Ah, I'm really chuffed for him," Jenna replied with a smile, remembering her first encounter with the once-miserable priest at the vicarage social last year. She read through the order of service booklet. It was adorned with little golden crowns. The usual collection of familiar patriotic music, Handel's Messiah, Jerusalem, Rule Britannia, Crown Imperial and of course, the National Anthem.On the first page was some information about the cathedral organ."Liverpool Cathedral boasts the largest pipe organ in the UK, an instrument of tremendous power and majesty, but also of serenity and calm. Its sole purpose is to aid worship by creating a reverent atmosphere.""Gordon would be over the moon if he could get his fingers on this impressive instrument! Listen to this, Simon. An 'Anniversary' recital is given by the Cathedral Organist each year on the nearest Saturday to 18th, in commemoration of its dedication.The organ is situated in two chambers on opposite sides of the Choir. It currently comprises 10,268 pipes and 200 stops contained in nine divisions. There are two five-manual consoles; the original one up in a dedicated gallery under the North Choir case and a mobile recital console at floor level. The 'Trompette Militaire' and the 'Tuba Magna' stops are the loudest voices on the organ.""Makes the organ in our church look like a penny whistle by comparison," the vicar replied. "I think even Gordon would be a bit overwhelmed if he had to play this whopper.""He could play it with ease," she replied. "Gordon's the best organist in the world."The hall was filling up and the warm humid spring day made the cathedral quite warm. Jenna removed her blazer and laid it over the back of the pew.Jenna leaned her head on Simon's shoulder & closed her eyes. Soon she thought back to last night. Organ practice with Gordon had been wild, and those two old tin pipes he'd given her during Lent had been put to good use again."Lie back on the stool for me," Gordon whispered. Slowly, he traced the cold organ pipe down her naked body, before pausing and using the tip of it to tease her erect nipples. She giggled."So cold!""Delightfully tuned," he grunted. He moved a finger down and began teasing her clit. Then he pressed a key on one of the manuals."Can you sing that note for me?""Lah.""Excellent! How about these notes?" He played a few chords whilst fingering her."Ahh, doe, ray, me; oh my God,”Jenna breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out in ecstasy, and writhed beneath him. The orgasm rocked through her body like a tidal wave; it was indescribable."Always so perfectly in key, Jenna. Very good, very, ah." Jenna's bare foot started rubbing his groin, and he struggled to remain composed."Open your organ loft, Gordon. I need to perform an inspection."As usual, he immediately succumbed to her charms. "At once," he smiled, unzipping his trousers and freeing his member from his underpants. "I am sure everything is in fine working order, but I might need a little bit of a re-tune.""I can help you there," Jenna said, reaching in she gave a quick kiss to the tip of his fat cock, and began to suck the length, then taking it deeper.Gordon cried out in delight, and dropped the organ pipe. It clattered onto the church's stone floor."Oh, so good," Gordon sighed. His words spurred her on, so she varied her technique, flicking her tongue down his shaft's sensitive underside, then up. She extended her tongue and licked the head of his cock like a lollipop."Umm, is my sexy organ daddy ready to give me some of his delicious cum?""Ahh, he's got plenty for his Jen, oh God here it comes!"Jenna jerked off the organist until he exploded all over her face. She opened her mouth as a huge, pearly wad of his issue landed on the bridge of her nose. A second spurt hit its target, and she quickly swallowed every drop."Jenna! Have you nodded off? King Charles has arrived!" Reverend Morris whispered, nudging his wife."Umm, oh no, sorry I was just thinking, oh yes, there he is!"Everyone stood up, as the soon-to-be crowned monarch took his seat and was welcomed by the Bishop of Liverpool. Thus began the usual formal introductions and as everyone sat down, the sound of the mighty organ radiated through the cathedral."Our concert begins with a rendition of that wonderful rousing piece by Handel, his Messiah, which was composed in 1741. It was first performed in Dublin on the 13th of April, in 1742 and received its London premiere nearly a year later. After an initially modest public reception, the oratorio gained in popularity, eventually becoming one of the best-known and most frequently performed choral works in Western music.""I love the Messiah," Reverend Morris whispered. "Remember when it was played at our wedding?""Sure do." Jenna's eyes gleamed.The music began, but after a few moments, it was obvious that the organist at the console wasn't quite up to playing the mighty beast that this great pipe organ was..Reverend Morris cringed as a few wrong notes were played. "Hmm, I don't think this chap has practiced this enough. Either that or he's drunk.""Well the bishop did say that he's not the regular organist. I think he's nervous. Poor guy. I'd be nervous if I had to play in front of the King, and I was being filmed for a TV programmer!""Oh dear," Reverend Morris said, as the unfortunate rendition continued. "This is sounding more like Handel's Messed-Up Messiah."King Charles appeared to be really enjoying the music. "Oh I say. Reminds one of Les Dawson," he whispered to Camilla. "Splendid entertainer, he was. Dearest Mummy used to love it when he appeared at the Royal Variety Performance in the Eighties. It takes one a great deal of skill to play wrong notes like that!"Camilla simply nodded, but she wasn't fooled. This wasn't meant to be a Les Dawson tribute, but it was certainly interesting."Did I ever mention that I often play organ music to my plants?" the King continued.More error-filled hymns and pieces followed, until the first half of the concert came to an end, and the interval was welcomed by just about everyone, but mostly by the organist."Fuck, I screwed everything up," Edward groaned, shuffling off, his face burning with shame.Some of the overflow crowd lined the hallway, off the sanctuary. Edward faced the gauntlet of critics as he passed through. "Hey mate, is this some kind of joke?" A man shouted. "Have you even taken an organ lesson? Because that was bloody awful!""My three-year old could play better than that!" A woman added."My Labrador could play better than that!""Shame on you! You must be a republican. Playing like that in front of His Majesty!""Look I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!" Edward mumbled, rushing away from the crowded hallway. He had to hide somewhere and try and compose himself, or he'd never get through the second half of the concert.Meanwhile, Jenna had been navigating her way back from the toilets, which was proving to be a bit of a nightmare, due to the crowds and the security measures in place due to the monarch's visit."I definitely shouldn't be down here," she said, hurrying down a small corridor. "Uh-oh, this is the vestry. How did I end up here? I've got to get back to my seat!"Hurrying through a curtained area, she walked right into a man clad in red cassock and white surplice, whom she assumed was a vicar."Oh, so sorry; Reverend!" She mumbled."No I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," the man replied. "Um, I'm not a vicar. I'm Edward, the organist.""Oh right," Jenna said. "Well nice to meet you. Um, I think I'm lost. Please could you,” She looked at him and noticed his eyes were red from crying. "Hey; are you okay?""I'm fine," Edward sniffed. "Uh, yes, just through there and turn right. Keep right, because the left side is out of bounds because the King's sat over there.""You've been crying," Jenna said.‘What a cute guy!'She thought to herself. He looks just like Robert Pattinson. Though she preferred older men, she figured this younger chap was in need of some comfort and a confidence boost. And she never could resist a man wearing church vestments."I've messed up," Edward sighed. "Surely you heard how bad I played during the first half.""I don't blame you," Jenna replied. "I would've been wetting myself if I'd been asked to play in front of the King. I think you did great."My God, this guy is an adorable cinnamon roll!"Oh thanks. I was still shit though. Um, are you an organist?""Not officially. I'm a pianist and I work at my church's Sunday school. The organist at my church who I like, er, who I'm friends with, he has been giving me lessons. It's taken a while, but I can just about stand in for him and do the morning Eucharist. But I still play the odd wrong note or pull out the wrong stops. It's such a complicated instrument! So don't feel bad."Edward relaxed. "I wish all the members of the public were as understanding as you are. I'll probably get a grilling off the Bishop later, as well.""Ignore the haters. And the Bishop is a man of God, so he should be merciful.""Heh, maybe. What's your name?""Jenna. Pleased to meet you Edward! I expect you've heard this before, but you look a bit like Robert Pattinson.""Yeah. I have. Cedric Diggory playing the organ. You'd think he'd use magic so he could play perfectly and without feeling nervous!""Can't use magic in the Muggle world!" Jenna smiled."Heh, are you a Potter fan?""Nah, never really got into it. But I have seen some of the movies.""Same here.""Are you still feeling nervous?""Terrified. I have to play the national anthem at the end of the second half. If I play a wrong note during that, well I'm dreading it.""I'll stop you from feeling nervous," Jenna winked."Oh, how do you plan to do that? Do you have some booze?" He jumped as he realized her arms had slipped round him."No. I'll give you something better than booze." She nibbled at the outside corners of his mouth, teasing him to open for her."Open for me," she whispered, as she continued to place soft kisses.Edward, who was too shocked to process what was happening, only registered the pretty redhead's body pressing him against the wall. Unable to move, he simply stood in her embrace, neither accepting nor returning her kisses.He suddenly blushed even more at the sudden realization that he was becoming erect. This is insane, he thought to himself. The second half is about to start and I'm,"You're really sexy," Jenna murmured, sending shivers down his spine. Edward was powerless to resist her. "Do you feel me?" She asked in a husky whisper, pressing herself against him, "Do you feel how much I want you?" His shyness was an incredible turn-on, and making her terribly horny. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.Edward looked into her lovely eyes and bent down to kiss her.At their sweet contact, Jenna heard Edward sigh contentedly. He reached down and grasped her arse. Suddenly, she felt his tongue enter her mouth, and his erection pressing against her."What would you like, Edward?""Confidence," he mumbled back.Jenna pushed him into a small cloakroom. "To give an organist confidence, I need to inspect his organ pipe," she purred, swiftly reaching under his surplice and fumbling with the buttons on his cassock. "All these buttons, but no worries, I'll find a way in, ah, there we go!" She unzipped his trousers and reached inside.Edward gasped as her warm hand grabbed his cock. It stiffened further in her grasp."Oh, what a big pipe you have. It seems like a fine one to play a tune on!" Jenna grinned. These corny organ puns worked so well on Gordon, and it seemed that they worked on Edward too. All male organists liked it if they were complimented on the size of their instrument, surely?Edward couldn't believe this was happening. The concert was set to resume in ten minutes but here he was, he just closed his eyes as Jenna worked her magic.Another delicious-looking cock. Edward was her third organist, after Gordon and Raymond Wilson from Oakwood Road Methodist church. Third time lucky!Jenna knelt in front him and kissed the top of his enlarged cock. Then she gently kissed all around its head. With long, gentle strokes she licked up and down the length of the shaft as Edward began to moan with pleasure. She took his balls in one hand and began to massage them. His moans increased.Reverend Morris checked his watch, wondering where Jenna had got to. The second half was about to begin."Did she get lost on her way to the Ladies?" He wondered. Most of the guests had returned to their seats and the Bishop was approaching the podium."Come on Jen, hurry up, or you'll miss the start. What on earth is she doing?"Edward immediately entered her and drew a strangled gasp as he plunged his rigid cock to the hilt. He pulled his hips back so that his cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. He'd been single for a while, and it showed. Jenna moaned at the sensation of this eager young organist thrusting in her. She reached her peak only a few seconds before he spurted his cum deep within her, and when they finally parted, Edward felt like he could conquer the world. Never before had he experienced sex as good as this.Jenna gave him a kiss and zipped up his trousers. "I think it's time I returned to my seat.""Uh, can I get your email or something? I'm on Twitter, but I don't tweet much. Are you on there? Hey, I'm the organist at St Paul's church in Crosby. It has a website. My contact details are on there. What happens now?"She winked at him and gave him a final kiss. "Now, you go and play the organ like a pro. For King and Country.""Oh. Right. Yes. I will!"Jenna hurried down the corridor, a big smile on her face. The archway to the main hall was blocked by a man in a suit standing in the middle."Excuse me," she muttered, tapping his arm, without realizing who he was."Ah, hello there!" King Charles smiled.Jenna froze."You must be one of the cathedral's hard-working staff?" He said."Er, I, Your Majesty." Jenna gave an awkward curtsey. Damn, how embarrassing!"It seems we had a disturbance during the interval. Some fellows from Extinction Rebellion burst in and tried to glue themselves to the pulpit. Did you see it?""Er, er, no I didn't. I was back there." Jenna was desperate to get away, but the King was in a talkative mood and took hold of her hand."All quite amusing! What's your name, dear?""Jen, Jenna."He gestured to a photographer. "See here, this young lady, one of many who is a credit to the cathedral. This is Jenna, yes, yes. Are you getting this? Nice smiles now!"Hope I haven't got cum on the front of my dress, Jenna thought, as the camera clicked away.King Charles finally released Jenna's hand. "Splendid to meet you! Plant some trees!""Thank you. Will do." When he eventually turned and walked to some other people, she was able to hurry down the side aisle and back to her seat."Oh Jen!" Reverend Morris gasped, as his wife hurried beside him. "I saw everything! You got to shake the King's hand! Oh you lucky thing! I'm so pleased for you!""I, I got a bit lost coming back from the toilets and I,” Jenna stammered, still in shock."Thank God you did! If you hadn't exited from that particular area, the King wouldn't have seen you!""I was so nervous. I bet I looked a right muppet. And there was a photographer there!""Not just a photographer. The cameraman from Songs of Praise filmed you too!""Oh no!""Relax, you looked great as always. You're a bit sweaty though. Must be the nerves. It's not like you to be nervous though! You missed all the chaos when the eco-nutters gate-crashed the place."The Bishop appeared. "Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary persons, we apologies for the earlier disruption, but normal service has been resumed. Now we begin the second half of our concert. May I now ask you to stand as we sing that great hymn of England, Jerusalem!""Let's hope they've swapped organists," somebody behind Jenna was heard to say.The first chords of Sir Hubert Parry's masterpiece began, and to everyone's surprise and delight, Edward played the hymn to absolute perfection."Thank goodness I was able to help him," Jenna smiled.To be continued.By Blacksheep for Literotica.
Today, Danny speaks to actor, writer, voice artist, comedian and impressionist, Steve Nallon. In this lively episode, Steve shares some great stories about his time working on Spitting Image and with Janet Brown, Mike Yarwood, Rory Bremner, Rik Mayall and scores of other stars. He explains how he developed his iconic Margaret Thatcher impersonation. Steve shares why, despite being such a prolific performer he actually prefers anonymity over fame. They also discuss the personal and professional adjustments those involved in the entertainment industry make as they age. If you can´t get enough of these podcasts, head to https://www.patreon.com/DannyHurst to access my exclusive, member-only, fun-filled and fact-packed history-related videos. KEY TAKEAWAYS As a kid Steve had a vivid imagination and loved acting out the characters he made up, but he was so shy he couldn´t perform in front of others. Even well-known comedians like Les Dawson worried about “dying on their arse”. There are comedians that say funny things, those that do funny things and those that simply are funny. Steve explains the difference. When an audience does not laugh, it feels incredibly personal. Spitting Image became so culturally significant that the FT used photos of the show's puppet versions instead of real politicians. The Spitting Image puppets were powerful. Some stars even found themselves becoming more like the puppet version. Most `politicians develop a persona that they use in public. Impressions are a caricature, just the essence of a person. As you get older doing impressions of certain people becomes harder. Writing about things that catch your attention and things you have experience of works well e.g. Steve using Maggie Thatcher in a ghost story. From a certain angle the statue of Nelson looks like he is pleasuring himself. Steve explains why he has always resisted appearing on TV as himself. BEST MOMENTS “I always was a performer. As a kid .. I would become all these different people.” “What didn't come naturally was performing in front of an audience.” “You die on your arse.” “Be open to anything, and everybody…that was the BBC training in 1975.” “I did attempt Trump, but it was so bad they cut it.” “I was walking down Brewer St a couple of days ago and there was only one sex shop.” EPISODE RESOURCES https://www.nallon.com HOST BIO Historian, performer, and mentor Danny Hurst has been engaging audiences for many years, whether as a lecturer, stand-up comic or intervention teacher with young offenders and excluded secondary students. Having worked with some of the most difficult people in the UK, he is a natural storyteller and entertainer, whilst purveying the most fascinating information that you didn't know you didn't know. A writer and host of pub quizzes across London, he has travelled extensively and speaks several languages. He has been a consultant for exhibitions at the Imperial War Museum and Natural History Museum in London as well as presenting accelerated learning seminars across the UK. With a wide range of knowledge ranging from motor mechanics to opera to breeding carnivorous plants, he believes learning is the most effective when it's fun. Uniquely delivered, this is history without the boring bits, told the way only Danny Hurst can. CONTACT AND SOCIALS https://instagram.com/dannyjhurstfacebook.com/danny.hurst.9638 https://twitter.com/dannyhurst https://www.linkedin.com/in/danny-hurst-19574720
Jenna enjoys sexuality without shame, in the church.A series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.< Jenna seduces the Vicar.St Michael's parish church was a charming place of worship that dated back to the 12th century. A quaint little church, the sort that one could see in countless towns and villages across England. Within its walls however, all was not well. Ill-feeling festered among some of the male members of the church, the vicar included. But God, in his great mercy and wisdom, saw fit to send a beautiful angel to this church, in order to bring happiness.And so, our story begins,Reverend Simon Morris was a vicar who hadn't gotten laid in a long time. Aged forty, he'd been at St Michael's for nearly three years now. He prided himself on the success he'd had in increasing the congregation of this little church. The previous vicar, Reverend Smith, had died very suddenly from a stroke back in 2019, leaving the community devastated. Reverend Morris knew he had big boots to fill. So far, God had been with him all the way. He'd steered the church through the Covid pandemic and defied orders to close it during the lockdowns. This action had earned him a lot of respect, not to mention he'd gained a few more loyal sheep who'd deserted other churches.There was just one area where God had been unable to help him - his sexless marriage. He'd been married to Lucy for nearly ten years now and they had a four year old son, Christopher. Unfortunately, it was shortly after Christopher's birth that the avenue of carnal pleasure was closed off to him. He'd tried everything to re-ignite the spark, but nothing worked. Now Christopher had started primary school, Reverend Morris had hoped that things would improve, but instead, he and Lucy drifted further apart. He kept up the appearance that everything was perfect, during the many social functions he had to hold at the vicarage. Inside however, his frustration threatened to overwhelm him."O Lord God, who hast called thy servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown: Give us faith to go out with a good courage, not knowing whither we go, but only that thy hand is leading us, and thy love supporting us; to the glory of thy Name.Amen."Reverend Morris said a quick prayer to himself as he shook hands with the last of the members of the congregation. He let out a sigh of relief. Another Sunday service had passed - with an increase in numbers. He looked at his watch. He had a brief few minutes to head to the vestry, change out of his cassock and surplice, and pop over to the church hall for tea and biscuits. The usual chit chat with his faithful flock.The nosey old ladies, Josh, the new and nervous curate, Yulia the Ukrainian refugee and her two young children, Amir and Majid, the Iranian brothers who'd fled persecution in their homeland due to being Christians, Debbie the single mother and Sunday school teacher, Tony the reformed drug addict, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the church's resident do-gooders; a pair of boomers who made it their business to know more about the C of E than the Archbishop of Canterbury,Then there was Jenna Fox. Twenty, red haired and absolutely stunning. And too young for him.He'd spotted her in the congregation earlier, but not on the way out. Which could only mean,"Good morning Reverend!" Jenna said, bold as brass, sauntering out of the toilets, where she'd obviously been waiting for the others to depart."Oh, good morning Jenna," Reverend Morris replied, staring at her and then quickly averting his eyes downwards. She was wearing attire that was barely suitable for church - a low cut black top and black pleated miniskirt."I wore black today. For the Queen. Loved your sermon reflecting on her long reign. It was really touching.""Thanks. Glad you liked it. It's been hard to write. So, are you heading over to the church hall? I'll be there shortly.""Mmm, maybe later," she grinned. "Did you know Reverend, that you actually resemble Prince Edward a bit?"Feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she was, he felt color rise in his cheeks. "Uh, well thanks. I'll take that as a compliment! Do excuse me Jenna, I just have to ditch these vestments, then I shall be going to the hall."He hurried off to the vestry. In there, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was an average-looking bloke, not the sort that a stunning younger woman would lust after."Well at least I'm much younger than Prince Edward." He smiled. Suddenly, the door opened."You're not getting away from me this time Reverend," Jenna whispered, shutting the door behind her.Before he could say anything, she'd cornered him. Glancing into his pale blue eyes for a moment, she covered his lips with hers, feeling him tense up as her arms reached round his back. After a few seconds, he relaxed, as if he knew resistance of any kind was futile. Jenna could feel the heat of his body through his cassock."I've wanted you for a long time Reverend," she murmured. "Ever since you taught me that Introduction to Christianity course six months ago.""J-Jenna, this isn't appropriate. I, I am a married man!""Not a very happy one, I suspect. I can always tell." A shuddering sigh escaped him as her lips brushed his again. Jenna broke the kiss. "Is there any space in here to conduct unholy activities, Reverend?"Powerless to resist this angel of sin, the smitten vicar grabbed her slim hips and motioned her to straddle his lap. "Jenna," he mumbled, rubbing one thumb over the outline of her hardened bra-less nipple through her thin top. "It's, er, been a long time since I was in a situation like this.""Your wife,”"Lucy and I have been leading separate, and sexless lives for years.""I'm sorry to hear that. So let me bring you some salvation."He leaned in to kiss the exposed skin of Jenna's neck; his lips leaving a hot trail from just below her ear to the center of her throat at the neck of her black top. Then he took the lower hem of the top and pushed it up to bare her belly, and then her pert C-cup breasts. Leaning her back, he took one nipple with his lips and she gasped. He was not only willing, but rampant; as Jenna had suspected, it had been a long time since this man had got laid.Even with the cassock and surplice on, there was no disguising the Reverend's raging erection. Jenna explored eagerly, desperately, reaching under the cassock, feeling his hard erection through his trousers.Lord Jesus, Jenna was trembling so much with excitement. She'd had a clergy fetish for years and fantasized about seducing the vicar for such a long time. Reverend Morris returned his attention to her breasts and she was so wet she could almost feel herself dripping into her panties.Without further ado, she unfastened his belt before reaching for his zipper. Reverend Morris attempted to remove his surplice."No, no, leave that on," Jenna said."As you wish." He mumbled holding up his cassock, almost unable to comprehend what was about to happen.Jenna knelt in front of the vicar, pulled down the zipper of his trousers, and exposed white boxer shorts - adorned with little Christian crosses."Oh wow. Where did you get those, Reverend?" Jenna grinned.He blushed. "Um, a church event I attended in London. The gift shop was quite varied,”"Umm." Jenna pulled down his trousers and boxers, freeing his heated cock."Ah. The staff of life."She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip."Oh dear God," Reverend Morris groaned.As she groped his shaft, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was."Ooh, Reverend you certainly have sinned," Jenna smiled. "Nice and wet - just how I like it." She teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. She began to suck him off furiously, her head bobbing up and down faster and faster, her tongue licking the sensitive underside of his shaft."Oh, I am blessed!" He gasped.Jenna licked every inch of his love pole, running her tongue cross every vein, igniting every nerve ending. The vicar cried out in joy. Then she withdrew and looked up at him.In her throatiest, most sexy tone, she said, "Well Reverend, are you just going to stand there, or come and tame your lost sheep?"Like a bolt of lightning, Reverend Morris kissed Jenna's lips as if they were the sweet fruit of Eden, and lifted her up. He pulled her drenched lacy panties off. It had been too damn long since he'd had pleasure so willingly offered to him like this. He parted her legs quickly, and, with no further warning, plunged his holy rod deep into her waiting cunt. He began to establish a fast-paced rhythm which soon had them both moaning in pleasure."Ah hah!" Jenna gasped. "Oh, Reverend. Yes! Right there. Deeper. Deeper! God that feels amazing! Oh! Ah! Oh, Yes!"Jenna was in a state of complete euphoria. She had dreamt about what it would feel like to be fucked by a vicar, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think it would be this incredible. He was a skillful lover, hitting the sensitive nerves within her tunnel, bringing her ever closer to that heavenly pinnacle.Reverend Morris began to quicken his thrusts and rammed his hard staff deeper into her yearning vagina. He felt his climax coming; it was an uncontrollable wave of ecstasy. Faster and faster he thrust, the sound of colliding skin echoing throughout the vestry. Jenna kept on riding the vicar until he blasted his cum into her like a fire hose."Ah! Praise the Lord!"Jenna looked at Reverend Morris, and for the first time in years, he looked truly satisfied."For what I hath received, I am truly thankful," he panted."Me too," Jenna replied, her insides filled with his thick cum.In the afterglow of their sinful fun, they kissed each other softly, caressing one another lovingly. Reverend Morris couldn't stop smiling. So that was what he'd been missing out on. Dear God! He doubted that Lucy could ever match Jenna's standards, even if she suddenly turned into a raving nympho."I suppose, we should head over to the church hall," Jenna said, idly fingering his clerical collar. "More tea Vicar?"Jenna Plays the Organist's OrganGordon Leesmith was not having a good day. Another Sunday, another morning Eucharist at St. Michael's, where he dutifully played the organ and directed the choir. It had all gone as planned, until the end of the service when that damned busybody John Norris had felt the need to vent his spleen."You played the wrong opening hymn, Gordon," John exclaimed, as the congregation departed. "Great is Thy Faithfulness was selected, not Love Divine.""That's not what the vicar told me," Gordon muttered, not looking at him. He loathed this odious pedant."Anyways I just thought I'd let you know. Patricia and I were a little confused.""No change there then," Gordon replied, unable to restrain himself. "Do you think maybe just for once you and wife might refrain from poking your noses into every bloody thing?"John was so taken aback, he couldn't speak for a moment. "Well really! There's no need for language, Gordon. I was merely saying,”"Don't come the innocent with me, you're the biggest shit-stirrer in this church. I've seen the gossip you spread on Facebook. And I'll play whatever bloody hymn I like, thank you very much.""I wouldn't argue in a church.""I'll argue anywhere as long as I'm in the right. Now bugger off!"Thus suitably chastised, the subdued John left, and Gordon was left to sort through his music sheets in peace. He adjusted his black robe and continued grumbling to himself. He wasn't always as grumpy and short-tempered as this. Years ago he'd been a jolly, fun-loving chap who enjoyed joking with other members of the church.That was before his divorce.Gordon was fifty-five, and had been organist and choirmaster at St Michael's for almost twenty years. Ten years ago, his wife Marjorie had run off with a man young enough to be her son. She was fifty and her lover was a twenty-five year old personal trainer. They'd met online. Gordon's world had been knocked for six. He never imagined Marjorie would cheat on him. They'd always been so happy, with a very active sex life.Jenna had been quietly observing the little outburst with much interest. After expressing an interest in joining the choir, Reverend Morris had warned her that the organist had the "shortest of short fuses." When she'd pressed him further, the vicar had revealed the details of Gordon's marital problems and sworn her to secrecy.Jenna licked her lips. She was aching for a romp with Reverend Morris right now, but he'd been asked to conduct a service at another local church this morning, and a female vicar had stood in for him. What was a horny lass to do?"Poor, miserable Gordon." Jenna mused. "I doubt he gets much action. He needs cheering up." Looking at him, she thought him quite good looking for an older man. He had a full head of silvery hair and unlike Reverend Morris, was of a stocky build. On the occasions she'd seen him minus his long black robe, he possessed quite a paunch. Jenna idly toyed with a strand of her hair, considering her next move. Gordon was giving off daddy kink vibes."I wonder if the organist will let me play with his organ?"Gordon was busy rifling through hymn books and didn't notice Jenna saunter over at first. She cleared her throat and he glanced round."Uh. Can I help you with something?""Oh hello," Jenna replied, acting rather coy. "I, hope I haven't caught you at a bad time, Mr,”"Gordon. Bad time? There's never a good time," he muttered, giving the usual gruff response. "Nothing personal.""Well I just wanted to thank you, Gordon. You played my favorite hymn, Love Divine. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it."His attention captured, Gordon finally put down the books he was fiddling with and sat on the organ stool, facing her. "You did?""I love anything by Charles Wesley. His hymns are amazing.""Indeed they are. He wrote thousands during his lifetime."Gordon certainly was hard to read. Jenna wondered if she was having any effect on him at all. His dour expression didn't give anything away. It looked like this chap was going to be quite a challenge."Every week I come to church and I hear you play these lovely old hymns on this fine organ." Jenna continued. "I love hearing you play.""I've had enough practice. I've been doing this for many years now."Evidently, Gordon wasn't used to receiving any kind of compliments whatsoever.Jenna walked closer. "You're so talented.""Ah, well. That's, nice of you to say. What's your name?"Her persistence seemed to be paying off, and the organist appeared to be getting a little flustered at her flattery."Jenna.""Do you play any musical instruments, Jenna?" Gordon replied."Just the piano."He nodded. "Good, good. For work or just a hobby?""Oh purely as a hobby," she smiled, flicking her red hair. "I was wondering, please could you play a bit of Charles Wesley for me?"Gordon's stern face finally relaxed into a smile. "Why certainly. What would you like to hear?""Oh how about And Can It Be?"He shuffled around on the stool. "Very well. I often practice a bit after the morning service, when the others have left. I'm not one for idle chatter in the church hall.""Me neither," Jenna said, walking up to beside him, so close that her cleavage was at his eye level. Gordon couldn't help but give a side glance, and then quickly looked ahead."Right, are you ready?"The strains of the great Wesleyan hymn filled the church as Gordon's fingers graced the mighty organ. Jenna hummed along, and then an idea came into her head. Suddenly, Gordon stopped playing."I don't hear any singing, Jenna. How about you sing whilst I play?""Ok!" She grinned, and he resumed playing."And can it be, that I should gain - An int'rest in the Savior's blood?"Jenna deftly unfastened the first button on her white top."Died He for me, who caused His pain,For me, who Him to death pursued?"Gordon happened to glance to his right again, and almost played a wrong note. Jenna continued singing."Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?"She unfastened another button. Gordon continued playing, and as the chorus approached, the third and final button of her top was swiftly unfastened."Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?"Gordon's eyes almost popped out of his head and he cleared his throat."Go on, play a second verse!" Jenna said.He continued to play, but could feel his face burning. Jenna was singing her heart out, and seemed to be blissfully unaware that she'd suffered a wardrobe malfunction, she wasn't wearing a bra! Bloody hell, what a beautiful pair of tits, Gordon was uncomfortably hot all at once. He was no stranger to internet porn - after his divorce, porn was the only thing he could turn to in order to get a bit of relief, not that it really relieved him all that much, in fact it didn't turn him on at all anymore, he'd become impotent. Suddenly, with the young and beautiful Jenna inches away from him and, somewhat exposed, his dormant cock had surged back into life and was now straining against his underpants and trousers,"Just one more verse, Gordon! I'll give it my all."He continued playing and she resumed singing, her pale, pert breasts jiggling, inches from his face."Oh dear God," Gordon thought to himself. What a situation to find oneself in. "Should I say something to her?""My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!"Jenna pretended to lose her balance. "Whoops!" She said, toppling over and putting her hand on Gordon's thigh. He jolted and played a note that was so off-key, Les Dawson would've been impressed."Oh Gordon that was such fun! I love that hymn so much!"An embarrassed Gordon quickly rose to his feet. "Um, I'm glad. Er, would you excuse me a minute, Jenna? I need to visit the gents."Jenna struggled to hold back a giggle as he hurried off to the toilets. "He must be rock hard by now," she smirked. "Probably having a wank. I'll give him a few minutes, then I'm going in there after him."Gordon had to relieve himself more frequently these days, due to that most troublesome of male organs - the prostate. Today however, it wasn't an enlarged prostate stopping him from peeing, but a raging boner. He couldn't remember the last time he'd got as hard as this. Unfastening his belt and trousers, he slipped a hand inside his underpants and pulled out his cock. He stroked himself and wondered what to do. That Jenna - was she actually flirting with him?That was ridiculous, she was young enough to be his daughter. What woman in her right mind would want to flirt with a fat old git like him?Still, how could she not have noticed her tits were hanging out like that? It seemed so deliberate. That stunning, red-haired vixen! He couldn't hide in the toilets forever. She might come in looking to see if he was alright. He zipped up his trousers, adjusted his robe and went back into the church,Jenna was sitting on the organ stool, legs crossed, but top wide open."There you are, Gordon. I was beginning to think you'd flushed yourself down the loo. You're not trying to avoid me are you?"Gordon blushed crimson. "W-what are you playing at? Someone might come in at any moment?"Jenna shrugged. "So what?" Whoever is sat at the organ can't be seen from the door. You have to walk right down the side aisle and come right up close. Nobody can see us. And you played the hymn so good. I just want to show my appreciation."He blinked, mesmerized. "Was I really that good?"Jenna walked over to the organist. "Better than that," she said. She looked up at Gordon with dreamy, lust filled eyes. He was about to say something, but Jenna shut him off, grabbing his neck and pulling his head down to her level. She kissed him hard on the lips. Gordon didn't resist or try to pull away. Spurred on by this, Jenna wrapped his arms round Gordon's sides and pressed her body against his. The organist struggled to stay upright for a second, but regained his balance. He lowered his head and feasted on her hardened nipples, until Jenna pushed him down onto the stool, his back to the organ."What's that passage in the Bible, something about the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak?" Jenna teased, running her hand across his robe-covered thighs."Uh, I just play the hymns," Gordon sighed, as her hand brushed his crotch. "You're leading me into temptation, that's all I can say. Look what you've done to me!""I haven't started yet," Jenna smiled, lifting up his black robe, revealing black trousers. His crotch bulge was enormous. "I'm going to have fun playing THIS organ," Jenna said. She felt bolder and more in control than she had ever before, more than when she'd seduced Reverend Morris last week. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his underwear. Gordon was wearing white y-front underpants, and his cock was straining against the fabric; a large wet spot had appeared. Jenna caressed the bulge, then carefully pulled down his damp y-fronts, revealing his painfully engorged cock. It was average in length but girthy. She began kissing his shaft, which twitched and leaked precum.Gordon gripped the sides of the stool so tight, his fingernails turned white."Oh God,”"Gordon could you stand up for a sec? Your undies are in the way."Immediately, he did as she asked, and she pulled his underpants and trousers down to his ankles. Half an hour ago, such actions would've been unthinkable, he could barely think at all right now. All his anger and frustration and pent-up desire were released at once, when he felt Jenna's hands slip round his shaft."That's better." Jenna said. "What a magnificent organ you have!"Sweat ran down Gordon's brow as the temptress licked the head of his cock. The taste of precum was like nectar to her tongue. He was groaning louder now, as Jenna reached his most sensitive areas. She deep throated and sucked him hard and he yelled in pleasure. His balls were so full, he feared they'd explode."Oh Jenna, harder, more! Yes!" Gordon groaned, putting his hand on her head. She gripped his bare thighs and buried her face deeper between his legs, sucking him. His wiry grey pubes were tickling her nose. Gordon cried out in joy.Jenna withdrew, only to run her tongue around the underside of his cock."Oh fuck, I'm coming!" Gordon yelled. He lay back, forgetting the organ was behind him, and his elbows pressed against the lower keyboard. A horrific cacophony of wrong notes filled the church, but neither he or Jenna cared.Gordon reached his peak quickly and it was impossible to stop himself. He repeated Jenna's name, over and over again, as she licked his throbbing member. He let go, feeling that intense wave of pleasure spread up from his balls and across his whole body. A huge stream of cum spurted down Jenna's throat. She swallowed the seed greedily. Cum tasted so good, and Gordon's was especially thick, tangy and delicious. A second spurt landed right between her breasts, while a third and final load sprayed right across her face, leaving her coated in the gooey, sticky essence."Mmm, Gordon, that was the best!" She slowly licked around his cockhead, as some final drops of cum dripped out."What on earth is Gordon doing?" Mrs. Norris wondered as she hurried to the church. The din from the organ was so bad, it could be heard in the church hall. She pulled a face and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses. "What a dreadful noise!" Marching down the aisle, she shouted Gordon's name, but there was no way he could hear due to the deafening din of the organ.Gordon sat up on the stool and the awful noise ceased."What a delightful mess you've made!" Jenna giggled, as his cum trickled down her face and breasts."I, I'll get you some tissues," he gasped, still in a blissful stupor."I really enjoyed playing your organ. Can I play it again sometime?"Gordon's heart jumped in his chest. There was going to be a next time? "Of course you can!""Gordon, what are you doing? Ah, Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?”"Oh shit," Gordon exclaimed as he noticed Mrs. Norris standing there. The look on her face was priceless."What's your problem?" Jenna replied. "Have you never seen a woman playing an organ before?"Passion at the vicarage.After another boring day in her dead-end office job, Jenna was glad to be on her way home. Friday at last, thank God. And speaking of God, her smartphone had just vibrated. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled it out and smiled as she read the message.Hi Archangel JenGod's servant on Earth wondered if you'd like to spend some time with him tonight? Can't wait until Sunday. He has of you the great need and is all alone in the vicarage. L is away visiting sis until Monday. She's taken C along too.xxxR.M"Oh yes!" She said out loud. The vicarage would be more comfortable than another fuck in the vestry. Quickly, she composed a reply.Praise the Lord!Just got to go home and change into something holier, or not! will be there in half an hour. xxxJenna got into her car. A fun night of "worship" beckoned.St Michael's vicarage was set back from the main road by the church, down a long driveway flanked by beech trees. The trees were already on the turn, ready to show off their autumn color."Nice," Jenna mused as she admired the attractive garden. "This place is huge." It was way grander than the two bed semi where she'd grown up, and was still living at, with her parents. The cost of living crisis had meant that fleeing the nest had been put on hold. She knocked on the door. She hadn't been waiting for long, when Reverend Morris opened it, No cassock and surplice on tonight, just his "everyday vicar garb" as she termed it - black shirt, clerical collar and black trousers."Hello Jenna." he said, his voice a little shaky with nervous excitement. He took a deep breath. She looked absolutely stunning, in a figure-hugging black dress. "Wow, um, come in. You look lovely."Jenna flashed him a winning smile. "Why thank you, Reverend! Great place you have here. Your garden's really nice.""Ah, yes it is. Not my efforts, I'm afraid. I have many volunteers who keep it looking good. After all, it's only my house for as long as I'm vicar at St Michaels." He tried not to keep staring, but it was hard not to. "Have, you eaten?""Not really. Didn't have time. I grabbed a few biscuits on the way out.""Oh good! I was so hoping you'd say that. I thought I could cook us something. I really enjoy cooking."Jenna hadn't been expecting this. "Oh that's so nice of you." It was best to ravish the reverend on a full stomach."What sort of stuff do you like? You're not veggie or vegan are you?""Nope. I love my meat. I pretty much eat anything."Reverend Morris smiled. "Same here! Okay, how does fillet steak, chips, side salad and a glass of red wine sound?""Heavenly!""By the way, I was at the midweek hymn practice, and Gordon the organist seems to have undergone a personality transplant! I've never seen him so happy. Was he like that when you spoke to him about the choir last Sunday?"Jenna bit her lip. "Hmm, he was a little moody at first, but after I paid him a compliment, he sort of brightened up.""Blimey, whatever did you say to him? He's like a different bloke. He's bitten my head off a few times in the past.""Well," Jenna said innocently, "I thanked him for playing one of my favorite hymns, and said how much I admired his organ, er, his organ playing. I'm a big fan of Charles Wesley.""He did write some great hymns.""Umm, yes. Over 6000 hymns. And he somehow found the time to father eight children. How did he find the time?" Jenna added with a mischievous grin.Reverend Morris chuckled. "Perhaps writing hymns made him very horny!"They both laughed at this.The vicar rose from his chair. "I'd say that steak is just about ready," he said, hurrying into the kitchen. At that moment, Jenna felt her phone vibrate. Quickly, she slipped it out of her bag. Another message. Who was it this time?I have a message from Charles Wesley. He wonders if u would to see his hard, bulging hymn book. Hope 2 c u at church this Sunday.G [heart emoji]"Oh Gordon," Jenna giggled to herself, and switched the phone off. "It's hard work being such a good Christian and helping those in need."The meal was delicious, and to add to the mood, Reverend Morris had some relaxing Gregorian chant music playing in the background. Jenna had never been wined and dined like this before, and after they'd finished, felt it only right to thank the vicar for his kindness.In an instant, Jenna's lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. His hands were in her hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. If it was a dream, Reverend Morris never wanted it to end. This woman had awakened something in him that he couldn't quite describe. At this point, as Jenna took his hand and led him upstairs, he realized his marriage to Lucy was well and truly stone dead.The reverend's hands were at Jenna's side, unzipping then lifting the silky material of her dress slowly, over her navel, over her chest, over her head, off. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of her breasts, round and perfect, the stuff of many a dream but beautiful beyond any imagining. His hands cupped them gently. His mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took her nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. His hands roamed down over her arse, lavishing her smooth curves.Jenna was amazed at Reverend Morris' confident handling of her body. His sensual, hallowed hands moved over her, sending her heart racing, and she wasted no time in freeing him from his clothing.As Reverend Morris moved to lay over her, he could sense her need. It was almost as palpable as his own desire, and he was eager to satisfy them both. Jenna's hands guided his pulsating member, and at last he thrust boldly into her waiting cunt. The reverend gasped in spite of himself as his rod slid into this tight, warm pleasure hole. She held him so tightly and the sensations that coursed through his loins were beyond what he'd experienced back in the vestry a fortnight ago.Jenna's eyes rolled back as Reverend Morris' cock filled her with perfect execution. She bucked her hips up in time with his forceful thrusts, her hands gripped tightly around his shoulders. His grunts of pleasure were deep and resonant, arousing her even further. His hot shaft bore into her over and over again, gaining intensity with every thrust. Jenna began seeing flashes of light behind her eyes, and she knew that their moment was near.Moments later, they climaxed together; Jenna's cunt was filled to the brim with another load of holy spunk."God in Heaven! I think we have sinned, a lot!"To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.
The tremendous Bill Bailey is staging “a magical, musical mystery tour of the mind, along with other pressing matters” for 42 nights in London from December 28, a celebration of what makes us human in an age threatened by AI. There'll be “a laser harp”. There'll be electronic drum balls played by audience members. There'll be extracts from Kraftwerk's lost album of children's songs. He talks to Mark here about the first live entertainment he ever saw and first shows he played himself, which happily involves … … “a lightbulb moment”, James Robertson Justice breaking the fourth wall, the genius of Les Dawson's deadpan piano playing, OMD, the Cure, the Banshees, how TikTok changed song writing, Jean-Jacques Burnel whacking a skinhead with his bass, A Flock of Seagulls, the Undertones, seeing John Hegley's mandolin-driven comedy act and thinking “I could do that”, Victor Borge and the invention of the disco bass line by a 17th century German composer. Order tickets for Bill Bailey's Thoughtifier show here:https://www.billbailey.co.uk/liveFind out more about how to help us to keep the conversation going: https://www.patreon.com/wordinyourear Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The tremendous Bill Bailey is staging “a magical, musical mystery tour of the mind, along with other pressing matters” for 42 nights in London from December 28, a celebration of what makes us human in an age threatened by AI. There'll be “a laser harp”. There'll be electronic drum balls played by audience members. There'll be extracts from Kraftwerk's lost album of children's songs. He talks to Mark here about the first live entertainment he ever saw and first shows he played himself, which happily involves … … “a lightbulb moment”, James Robertson Justice breaking the fourth wall, the genius of Les Dawson's deadpan piano playing, OMD, the Cure, the Banshees, how TikTok changed song writing, Jean-Jacques Burnel whacking a skinhead with his bass, A Flock of Seagulls, the Undertones, seeing John Hegley's mandolin-driven comedy act and thinking “I could do that”, Victor Borge and the invention of the disco bass line by a 17th century German composer. Order tickets for Bill Bailey's Thoughtifier show here:https://www.billbailey.co.uk/liveFind out more about how to help us to keep the conversation going: https://www.patreon.com/wordinyourear Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The tremendous Bill Bailey is staging “a magical, musical mystery tour of the mind, along with other pressing matters” for 42 nights in London from December 28, a celebration of what makes us human in an age threatened by AI. There'll be “a laser harp”. There'll be electronic drum balls played by audience members. There'll be extracts from Kraftwerk's lost album of children's songs. He talks to Mark here about the first live entertainment he ever saw and first shows he played himself, which happily involves … … “a lightbulb moment”, James Robertson Justice breaking the fourth wall, the genius of Les Dawson's deadpan piano playing, OMD, the Cure, the Banshees, how TikTok changed song writing, Jean-Jacques Burnel whacking a skinhead with his bass, A Flock of Seagulls, the Undertones, seeing John Hegley's mandolin-driven comedy act and thinking “I could do that”, Victor Borge and the invention of the disco bass line by a 17th century German composer. Order tickets for Bill Bailey's Thoughtifier show here:https://www.billbailey.co.uk/liveFind out more about how to help us to keep the conversation going: https://www.patreon.com/wordinyourear Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
She's had the organist. Now she wants the Vicar.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mia weakly raised her hand and switched off the shower."That was amazing, Gordy-pie. Organists really are good with their hands!""Not so bad yourself," he panted. "Wow. I enjoyed that immensely! You're quite a lass, Mia.""I'd like to see you play the organ," she said, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel."I need to get my breath back first!" He laughed, as Mia began playfully drying him off. "God, you're an eager little beaver aren't you?""Hee hee. Yes, but what I meant was, I'd like to see you play the church organ. I've not been inside a church for years. Jenna said that St Michael's is cool.""It's a nice church." I wonder what else she's told her? Gordon thought. "Why not come along to the Sunday service? You can see me in action there, so to speak. After the service, you can have a go on the organ if you'd like. Do you play any musical instruments?""Guitar and violin, but I've not practiced for ages.""Ah, so strings are your thing? That's good. It'd be nice to have a violinist in the choir. One of the choristers plays the trumpet. Which keeps him from singing and I'm glad of it as his voice is bloody awful."Mia sniggered. "You're funny, Gordy-pie. I really like you. Are all organists as fun as you?""Nay lass. I'm one of a kind. He pulled her close and kissed her neck and lips. He was an incredible kisser, and she was curious to know more about him."Are you married?""Long divorced," came his reply. "I'm married to the pipe organ, as they say." He wondered if Jenna had mentioned anything about their various liaisons over the past year, and was about to say something, when the bathroom door suddenly opened."Jen! Ever thought of knocking before entering?" Mia gasped, covering herself with a towel."I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" She turned to Gordon, who grinned sheepishly at her."Um, hello!""Funny place to have organ lessons, Gordon," Jenna said, as she watched him squirm."Gordy-pie was just showing me how good an organist is with his hands, weren't you?" Mia said, kissing him. "And you know what, he's amazing!""Oh I'm well aware of how good he is," Jenna replied, folding her arms.Sensing disapproval, Gordon attempted to explain. "It just happened. I didn't know your cousin was here," he prattled. "I put the plant pots in the yard, went into the kitchen and she was just there, wearing nothing but a towel!""You don't need to explain yourself, Gordy-pie. We've not done anything wrong," Mia said. "We're both single. Why are you so uptight, Jenna? Is it because we're in the vicarage? Is that like, a sin or something?"Jenna was in no position to claim the moral high ground. "No, no of course not. I was, just a bit surprised, that's all. It's fine. Just, try to be a bit more discreet, Mia. What if Simon had walked in?""Oh I'm sure the good reverend would approve," Gordon smiled, winking at her.The perceptive Mia noticed his gesture and wondered what he was hinting at."Jenna took a deep breath. "Okay, well I'm going to have a coffee. I'll leave you to get dressed. Do you want a drink, Gordon?""A tea would be lovely. I'm parched. Thanks!""I'll have tea as well, please." Mia added.Jenna left the bathroom."She's acting weird," Mia said. "There's something she's not telling me."Oh boy, wait until you find out, Gordon thought. Your mind will be blown."Maybe she's a bit envious!" Gordon said as he picked up his clothes, and wondered where his underpants had gone."Can I keep these, Gordy-pie?" Mia giggled, holding up his white briefs."Think they're too big for you!""I don't want to wear them. I want to keep them under my pillow and sniff them at night.""In that case, they're all yours! But I want your knickers in return!""Fair's fair!" She tossed him her pale pink cotton undies to him."Thanks!""I loved our shower time," Mia said, kissing him again. "And I loved your big cock. You're a sexy man, Gordy-pie.""Gordy-pie hopes Mia-pie can play with his organ again very soon!" the organist replied as they got dressed and headed downstairs.Jenna brought them both a cup of tea as they sat down in the lounge."Gordon, you're not going to put up with her calling you that cringey nickname are you?" she said, handing him the cup."I like it. It's cute," he said, as Mia rested her head on his shoulder."It's childish. If someone had called you that a year ago, you'd have bitten their head off. You used to have a terrible temper.""Ah well that was before I saw the light," he said, sipping his tea. "When you, showed me the way." He smiled at Jenna as she sat opposite them. "For that, you know I am forever grateful," he added."Did you become a born again Christian like Jenna, Gordy-pie?" Mia asked."I've always been a Christian," Gordon replied. "I just sin a lot, that's all. As we all do, right?" He raised an eyebrow at the vicar's wife. "But we keep praying for forgiveness every week, and luckily for us, God is the forgiving sort, eh?"The front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Good lord, I need a large brandy!" He gasped, tossing the car keys on the table."What I have seen, can't be unseen, and what I've heard, can't be unheard!""Whatever's the matter Simon?" Jenna said, standing up."You were right, Jen. Gladys Wilcox and the churchwarden. They're, at it!""Told you so," Jenna said. "Actual sex? I'm not being ageist but can Gladys manage that at her age?""No. Regular vanilla sex would've been easier to deal with. Actually, I think gerbilling would be easier to deal with. But seeing Norman, naked in her backyard, wearing a pinny and being struck on his arse with a riding crop,”Jenna cleared her throat, trying to silence him, given that they had company." She treats him like a slave and he enjoys it!" The vicar continued, unaware there was an audience. "And there's more. She knows about the storeroom threesome, and you won't believe this, she proudly told me, that sometime during Lent, she performed oral sex on Gordon.""Ahem. Simon, shush, we've got," Jenna cringed. "Wait, what? She gave Gordon oral?"Mia's jaw dropped."Sucked him off whilst he was sat at the church organ! She'd wanted him to be her slave, but he declined. So she set her sights on Norman instead. Well we both know Gordon prefers a younger woman, right?" He turned round, and noticed Gordon sat on the settee, and Mia sat next to him."Oh, good afternoon Gordon!""I brought those plant pots you wanted," the organist meekly uttered.Later,Jenna and Reverend Morris sat on the settee watching an episode of Father Brown, although neither were really paying attention to it."I can't get that image out of my head. Gladys giving Gordon a blowjob and whipping Norman's bare buttocks. I know we've, engaged in some naughtiness, but I never imagined one of the oldest members of the church was into that sort of thing!""Good for her," Jenna replied. "Kinkiness aside, it's nice for her to have Norman as a lodger. I mean, she lives alone and in this day and age, older people can feel vulnerable. I know Gladys misses her hubby a lot.""Oh Bert. Yes. He was dead long before I came to St Michaels. Bishop George told me more about him. He was the organist before Gordon took over. Apparently he was quite a character.""I'm sure he was. And the current organist seems to be going the same way.""Jen, you seem a bit unhappy about Gordon having intercourse with your cousin today. Is that because you're protective of her or because of, well, I know how close you are to him?"Jenna sighed. "Oh Simon. I'm ashamed of myself. I actually felt jealous when I saw the two of them together. How selfish is that? After everything you did for me last year when it was my birthday, and you gladly accepted my dalliances with the other male members of the church. Can you forgive me? I wish to say a prayer of forgiveness."The vicar took his wife's hands in his. "Of course I can, my love. And I understand how you feel. You see, with Mia here, I think you've got something you've never had to deal with before.""What's that?""A rival!"Mia was eavesdropping from the staircase. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she listened."Holy shit, Jenna's had more men than Elton John's had wigs. She had the nerve to have a go at me for seducing Tom. And she's slept with Gordon too? No wonder she looked so tense. Ha! And sweet, Reverend Simon is okay with that? That's not what it teaches in the Bible, surely?"She slipped back to her bedroom."Let us pray together," Reverend Morris said."Father, I return to You with my sins before me. Nowadays, I lack compassion for my brother and sisters, my eyes are clouded with wrongdoings my heart is against. Opposing Your Words, I sinned and done evil in Your eyes. I drained myself off Your kindness and followed my worldly desires. Father, guide me as You are right in Your verdict and justified in Your judgment. Do not leave me astray as I pray for a blissful life with You and a life free of evil. In Your Mercy, I pray.Amen."-(Luke 15:18, Psalm 51:3-4)"I feel better," Jenna said, opening her eyes. She ran a finger down her husband's cheek. "Simon, let's go to bed. Mia's asleep. The guest bedroom is right at the other end of the landing. She won't hear us. Tonight I need my Vicar's touch,”"What a good idea! All this talk of Gladys Wilcox getting her hands on men's dicks, I'd quite like some hands on mine!"A Girl With FantasiesMia lay back on the bed in the darkness, her mind buzzing with the events of the day. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out the pair of Gordon's briefs."Enjoyed you, Gordy-pie! You were a total sweetie."She sighed, pressing the crotch of the underwear against her nose and inhaling deeply, whilst fingering herself with her other hand. Gordon's undies bore a pleasant, musky, manly scent, a faint mark which she assumed was pre-cum, and a couple of wiry grey pubic hairs. Perfect. Knowing that the organist's thick cock had been snugly contained within was enough to make her climax again. She wondered if he was wanking off and sniffing her knickers."Hope he likes mine too." She wanted to see the organist again, as sex with him had been amazing, but Mia had her sights set on a bigger prize - and this one wore a clerical collar.InsomniaGordon was in bed, but having difficulty sleeping. His mind was a complete whirl. He reflected how in the past year, he'd gone from being completely sex-starved, to having more sex than he'd ever had during a whole fifteen years of marriage, and during his late teens, when he'd been a horny youth, desperate to sleep with any woman. In the Eighties, those halcyon pre-Internet days, just stumbling across a discarded porn magazine in the bushes was more valuable than gold. He remembered his time at university, when he used to spy on the nurses undressing at a nearby hospital.He chuckled as he remembered losing his virginity to his piano teacher - whilst she was giving him a tour of Blackpool Tower ballroom. He credited her with starting his interest in wanting to play organs,"Look at me now," he said out loud. "I got seduced by a woman young enough to be my daughter. Who is now the vicar's wife. I fucked a Ukrainian woman in the church. I've been fucking the vicar's wife every week in the church. I took part in a threesome with her and the vicar. I and several other men gave her a facial in the church. I got my dick sucked by an eighty-six year old pensioner too. Now I'm fucking the eighteen-year old cousin of the vicar's wife, and exchanging underwear with her."He reached for the pair of pink knickers and gave them a good sniff, stroking his cock at the same time. The crotch had dried, but earlier it had been wet and sticky with Mia's pussy juices. A heavenly scent."The world is a bloody mess right now, but I'd say my life is pretty good," he smiled. "I hope Mia wants to see me again. She's a lovely, horny little thing. I hope she comes to church this Sunday."He wanked himself off happily, before slipping into a blissful slumber. For the first time in a year, he dreamt of a woman other than Jenna.
She's had the organist. Now she wants the Vicar.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mia weakly raised her hand and switched off the shower."That was amazing, Gordy-pie. Organists really are good with their hands!""Not so bad yourself," he panted. "Wow. I enjoyed that immensely! You're quite a lass, Mia.""I'd like to see you play the organ," she said, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel."I need to get my breath back first!" He laughed, as Mia began playfully drying him off. "God, you're an eager little beaver aren't you?""Hee hee. Yes, but what I meant was, I'd like to see you play the church organ. I've not been inside a church for years. Jenna said that St Michael's is cool.""It's a nice church." I wonder what else she's told her? Gordon thought. "Why not come along to the Sunday service? You can see me in action there, so to speak. After the service, you can have a go on the organ if you'd like. Do you play any musical instruments?""Guitar and violin, but I've not practiced for ages.""Ah, so strings are your thing? That's good. It'd be nice to have a violinist in the choir. One of the choristers plays the trumpet. Which keeps him from singing and I'm glad of it as his voice is bloody awful."Mia sniggered. "You're funny, Gordy-pie. I really like you. Are all organists as fun as you?""Nay lass. I'm one of a kind. He pulled her close and kissed her neck and lips. He was an incredible kisser, and she was curious to know more about him."Are you married?""Long divorced," came his reply. "I'm married to the pipe organ, as they say." He wondered if Jenna had mentioned anything about their various liaisons over the past year, and was about to say something, when the bathroom door suddenly opened."Jen! Ever thought of knocking before entering?" Mia gasped, covering herself with a towel."I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" She turned to Gordon, who grinned sheepishly at her."Um, hello!""Funny place to have organ lessons, Gordon," Jenna said, as she watched him squirm."Gordy-pie was just showing me how good an organist is with his hands, weren't you?" Mia said, kissing him. "And you know what, he's amazing!""Oh I'm well aware of how good he is," Jenna replied, folding her arms.Sensing disapproval, Gordon attempted to explain. "It just happened. I didn't know your cousin was here," he prattled. "I put the plant pots in the yard, went into the kitchen and she was just there, wearing nothing but a towel!""You don't need to explain yourself, Gordy-pie. We've not done anything wrong," Mia said. "We're both single. Why are you so uptight, Jenna? Is it because we're in the vicarage? Is that like, a sin or something?"Jenna was in no position to claim the moral high ground. "No, no of course not. I was, just a bit surprised, that's all. It's fine. Just, try to be a bit more discreet, Mia. What if Simon had walked in?""Oh I'm sure the good reverend would approve," Gordon smiled, winking at her.The perceptive Mia noticed his gesture and wondered what he was hinting at."Jenna took a deep breath. "Okay, well I'm going to have a coffee. I'll leave you to get dressed. Do you want a drink, Gordon?""A tea would be lovely. I'm parched. Thanks!""I'll have tea as well, please." Mia added.Jenna left the bathroom."She's acting weird," Mia said. "There's something she's not telling me."Oh boy, wait until you find out, Gordon thought. Your mind will be blown."Maybe she's a bit envious!" Gordon said as he picked up his clothes, and wondered where his underpants had gone."Can I keep these, Gordy-pie?" Mia giggled, holding up his white briefs."Think they're too big for you!""I don't want to wear them. I want to keep them under my pillow and sniff them at night.""In that case, they're all yours! But I want your knickers in return!""Fair's fair!" She tossed him her pale pink cotton undies to him."Thanks!""I loved our shower time," Mia said, kissing him again. "And I loved your big cock. You're a sexy man, Gordy-pie.""Gordy-pie hopes Mia-pie can play with his organ again very soon!" the organist replied as they got dressed and headed downstairs.Jenna brought them both a cup of tea as they sat down in the lounge."Gordon, you're not going to put up with her calling you that cringey nickname are you?" she said, handing him the cup."I like it. It's cute," he said, as Mia rested her head on his shoulder."It's childish. If someone had called you that a year ago, you'd have bitten their head off. You used to have a terrible temper.""Ah well that was before I saw the light," he said, sipping his tea. "When you, showed me the way." He smiled at Jenna as she sat opposite them. "For that, you know I am forever grateful," he added."Did you become a born again Christian like Jenna, Gordy-pie?" Mia asked."I've always been a Christian," Gordon replied. "I just sin a lot, that's all. As we all do, right?" He raised an eyebrow at the vicar's wife. "But we keep praying for forgiveness every week, and luckily for us, God is the forgiving sort, eh?"The front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Good lord, I need a large brandy!" He gasped, tossing the car keys on the table."What I have seen, can't be unseen, and what I've heard, can't be unheard!""Whatever's the matter Simon?" Jenna said, standing up."You were right, Jen. Gladys Wilcox and the churchwarden. They're, at it!""Told you so," Jenna said. "Actual sex? I'm not being ageist but can Gladys manage that at her age?""No. Regular vanilla sex would've been easier to deal with. Actually, I think gerbilling would be easier to deal with. But seeing Norman, naked in her backyard, wearing a pinny and being struck on his arse with a riding crop,”Jenna cleared her throat, trying to silence him, given that they had company." She treats him like a slave and he enjoys it!" The vicar continued, unaware there was an audience. "And there's more. She knows about the storeroom threesome, and you won't believe this, she proudly told me, that sometime during Lent, she performed oral sex on Gordon.""Ahem. Simon, shush, we've got," Jenna cringed. "Wait, what? She gave Gordon oral?"Mia's jaw dropped."Sucked him off whilst he was sat at the church organ! She'd wanted him to be her slave, but he declined. So she set her sights on Norman instead. Well we both know Gordon prefers a younger woman, right?" He turned round, and noticed Gordon sat on the settee, and Mia sat next to him."Oh, good afternoon Gordon!""I brought those plant pots you wanted," the organist meekly uttered.Later,Jenna and Reverend Morris sat on the settee watching an episode of Father Brown, although neither were really paying attention to it."I can't get that image out of my head. Gladys giving Gordon a blowjob and whipping Norman's bare buttocks. I know we've, engaged in some naughtiness, but I never imagined one of the oldest members of the church was into that sort of thing!""Good for her," Jenna replied. "Kinkiness aside, it's nice for her to have Norman as a lodger. I mean, she lives alone and in this day and age, older people can feel vulnerable. I know Gladys misses her hubby a lot.""Oh Bert. Yes. He was dead long before I came to St Michaels. Bishop George told me more about him. He was the organist before Gordon took over. Apparently he was quite a character.""I'm sure he was. And the current organist seems to be going the same way.""Jen, you seem a bit unhappy about Gordon having intercourse with your cousin today. Is that because you're protective of her or because of, well, I know how close you are to him?"Jenna sighed. "Oh Simon. I'm ashamed of myself. I actually felt jealous when I saw the two of them together. How selfish is that? After everything you did for me last year when it was my birthday, and you gladly accepted my dalliances with the other male members of the church. Can you forgive me? I wish to say a prayer of forgiveness."The vicar took his wife's hands in his. "Of course I can, my love. And I understand how you feel. You see, with Mia here, I think you've got something you've never had to deal with before.""What's that?""A rival!"Mia was eavesdropping from the staircase. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she listened."Holy shit, Jenna's had more men than Elton John's had wigs. She had the nerve to have a go at me for seducing Tom. And she's slept with Gordon too? No wonder she looked so tense. Ha! And sweet, Reverend Simon is okay with that? That's not what it teaches in the Bible, surely?"She slipped back to her bedroom."Let us pray together," Reverend Morris said."Father, I return to You with my sins before me. Nowadays, I lack compassion for my brother and sisters, my eyes are clouded with wrongdoings my heart is against. Opposing Your Words, I sinned and done evil in Your eyes. I drained myself off Your kindness and followed my worldly desires. Father, guide me as You are right in Your verdict and justified in Your judgment. Do not leave me astray as I pray for a blissful life with You and a life free of evil. In Your Mercy, I pray.Amen."-(Luke 15:18, Psalm 51:3-4)"I feel better," Jenna said, opening her eyes. She ran a finger down her husband's cheek. "Simon, let's go to bed. Mia's asleep. The guest bedroom is right at the other end of the landing. She won't hear us. Tonight I need my Vicar's touch,”"What a good idea! All this talk of Gladys Wilcox getting her hands on men's dicks, I'd quite like some hands on mine!"A Girl With FantasiesMia lay back on the bed in the darkness, her mind buzzing with the events of the day. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out the pair of Gordon's briefs."Enjoyed you, Gordy-pie! You were a total sweetie."She sighed, pressing the crotch of the underwear against her nose and inhaling deeply, whilst fingering herself with her other hand. Gordon's undies bore a pleasant, musky, manly scent, a faint mark which she assumed was pre-cum, and a couple of wiry grey pubic hairs. Perfect. Knowing that the organist's thick cock had been snugly contained within was enough to make her climax again. She wondered if he was wanking off and sniffing her knickers."Hope he likes mine too." She wanted to see the organist again, as sex with him had been amazing, but Mia had her sights set on a bigger prize - and this one wore a clerical collar.InsomniaGordon was in bed, but having difficulty sleeping. His mind was a complete whirl. He reflected how in the past year, he'd gone from being completely sex-starved, to having more sex than he'd ever had during a whole fifteen years of marriage, and during his late teens, when he'd been a horny youth, desperate to sleep with any woman. In the Eighties, those halcyon pre-Internet days, just stumbling across a discarded porn magazine in the bushes was more valuable than gold. He remembered his time at university, when he used to spy on the nurses undressing at a nearby hospital.He chuckled as he remembered losing his virginity to his piano teacher - whilst she was giving him a tour of Blackpool Tower ballroom. He credited her with starting his interest in wanting to play organs,"Look at me now," he said out loud. "I got seduced by a woman young enough to be my daughter. Who is now the vicar's wife. I fucked a Ukrainian woman in the church. I've been fucking the vicar's wife every week in the church. I took part in a threesome with her and the vicar. I and several other men gave her a facial in the church. I got my dick sucked by an eighty-six year old pensioner too. Now I'm fucking the eighteen-year old cousin of the vicar's wife, and exchanging underwear with her."He reached for the pair of pink knickers and gave them a good sniff, stroking his cock at the same time. The crotch had dried, but earlier it had been wet and sticky with Mia's pussy juices. A heavenly scent."The world is a bloody mess right now, but I'd say my life is pretty good," he smiled. "I hope Mia wants to see me again. She's a lovely, horny little thing. I hope she comes to church this Sunday."He wanked himself off happily, before slipping into a blissful slumber. For the first time in a year, he dreamt of a woman other than Jenna.
Jenna enjoys sexuality without shame, in the church. By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna seduces the Vicar. St Michael's parish church was a charming place of worship that dated back to the 12th century. A quaint little church, the sort that one could see in countless towns and villages across England. Within its walls however, all was not well. Ill-feeling festered among some of the male members of the church, the vicar included. But God, in his great mercy and wisdom, saw fit to send a beautiful angel to this church, in order to bring happiness. And so, our story begins,Reverend Simon Morris was a vicar who hadn't gotten laid in a long time. Aged forty, he'd been at St Michael's for nearly three years now. He prided himself on the success he'd had in increasing the congregation of this little church. The previous vicar, Reverend Smith, had died very suddenly from a stroke back in 2019, leaving the community devastated. Reverend Morris knew he had big boots to fill. So far, God had been with him all the way. He'd steered the church through the Covid pandemic and defied orders to close it during the lockdowns. This action had earned him a lot of respect, not to mention he'd gained a few more loyal sheep who'd deserted other churches. There was just one area where God had been unable to help him - his sexless marriage. He'd been married to Lucy for nearly ten years now and they had a four year old son, Christopher. Unfortunately, it was shortly after Christopher's birth that the avenue of carnal pleasure was closed off to him. He'd tried everything to re-ignite the spark, but nothing worked. Now Christopher had started primary school, Reverend Morris had hoped that things would improve, but instead, he and Lucy drifted further apart. He kept up the appearance that everything was perfect, during the many social functions he had to hold at the vicarage. Inside however, his frustration threatened to overwhelm him. "O Lord God, who hast called thy servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown: Give us faith to go out with a good courage, not knowing whither we go, but only that thy hand is leading us, and thy love supporting us; to the glory of thy Name. Amen." Reverend Morris said a quick prayer to himself as he shook hands with the last of the members of the congregation. He let out a sigh of relief. Another Sunday service had passed - with an increase in numbers. He looked at his watch. He had a brief few minutes to head to the vestry, change out of his cassock and surplice, and pop over to the church hall for tea and biscuits. The usual chit chat with his faithful flock. The nosy old ladies, Josh, the new and nervous curate, Yulia the Ukrainian refugee and her two young children, Amir and Majid, the Iranian brothers who'd fled persecution in their homeland due to being Christians, Debbie the single mother and Sunday school teacher, Tony the reformed drug addict, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the church's resident do-gooders; a pair of boomers who made it their business to know more about the C of E than the Archbishop of Canterbury, Then there was Jenna Fox. Twenty, red haired and absolutely stunning. And too young for him. He'd spotted her in the congregation earlier, but not on the way out. Which could only mean, "Good morning Reverend!" Jenna said, bold as brass, sauntering out of the toilets, where she'd obviously been waiting for the others to depart. "Oh, good morning Jenna," Reverend Morris replied, staring at her and then quickly averting his eyes downwards. She was wearing attire that was barely suitable for church - a low cut black top and black pleated miniskirt. "I wore black today. For the Queen. Loved your sermon reflecting on her long reign. It was really touching." "Thanks. Glad you liked it. It's been hard to write. So, are you heading over to the church hall? I'll be there shortly." "Mmm, maybe later," she grinned. "Did you know Reverend, that you actually resemble Prince Edward a bit?" Feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she was, he felt color rise in his cheeks. "Uh, well thanks. I'll take that as a compliment! Do excuse me Jenna, I just have to ditch these vestments, then I shall be going to the hall." He hurried off to the vestry. In there, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was an average-looking bloke, not the sort that a stunning younger woman would lust after. "Well at least I'm much younger than Prince Edward." He smiled. Suddenly, the door opened. "You're not getting away from me this time Reverend," Jenna whispered, shutting the door behind her. Before he could say anything, she'd cornered him. Glancing into his pale blue eyes for a moment, she covered his lips with hers, feeling him tense up as her arms reached round his back. After a few seconds, he relaxed, as if he knew resistance of any kind was futile. Jenna could feel the heat of his body through his cassock. "I've wanted you for a long time Reverend," she murmured. "Ever since you taught me that Introduction to Christianity course six months ago." "J-Jenna, this isn't appropriate. I, I am a married man!" "Not a very happy one, I suspect. I can always tell." A shuddering sigh escaped him as her lips brushed his again. Jenna broke the kiss. "Is there any space in here to conduct unholy activities, Reverend?" Powerless to resist this angel of sin, the smitten vicar grabbed her slim hips and motioned her to straddle his lap. "Jenna," he mumbled, rubbing one thumb over the outline of her hardened bra-less nipple through her thin top. "It's, er, been a long time since I was in a situation like this." "Your wife,” "Lucy and I have been leading separate, and sexless lives for years." "I'm sorry to hear that. So let me bring you some salvation." He leaned in to kiss the exposed skin of Jenna's neck; his lips leaving a hot trail from just below her ear to the center of her throat at the neck of her black top. Then he took the lower hem of the top and pushed it up to bare her belly, and then her pert C-cup breasts. Leaning her back, he took one nipple with his lips and she gasped. He was not only willing, but rampant; as Jenna had suspected, it had been a long time since this man had got laid. Even with the cassock and surplice on, there was no disguising the Reverend's raging erection. Jenna explored eagerly, desperately, reaching under the cassock, feeling his hard erection through his trousers. Lord Jesus, Jenna was trembling so much with excitement. She'd had a clergy fetish for years and fantasized about seducing the vicar for such a long time. Reverend Morris returned his attention to her breasts and she was so wet she could almost feel herself dripping into her panties. Without further ado, she unfastened his belt before reaching for his zipper. Reverend Morris attempted to remove his surplice. "No, no, leave that on," Jenna said. "As you wish." He mumbled holding up his cassock, almost unable to comprehend what was about to happen. Jenna knelt in front of the vicar, pulled down the zipper of his trousers, and exposed white boxer shorts - adorned with little Christian crosses. "Oh wow. Where did you get those, Reverend?" Jenna grinned. He blushed. "Um, a church event I attended in London. The gift shop was quite varied,” "Umm." Jenna pulled down his trousers and boxers, freeing his heated cock. "Ah. The staff of life." She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip. "Oh dear God," Reverend Morris groaned. As she groped his shaft, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was. "Ooh, Reverend you certainly have sinned," Jenna smiled. "Nice and wet - just how I like it." She teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. She began to suck him off furiously, her head bobbing up and down faster and faster, her tongue licking the sensitive underside of his shaft. "Oh, I am blessed!" He gasped. Jenna licked every inch of his love pole, running her tongue cross every vein, igniting every nerve ending. The vicar cried out in joy. Then she withdrew and looked up at him. In her throatiest, most sexy tone, she said, "Well Reverend, are you just going to stand there, or come and tame your lost sheep?" Like a bolt of lightning, Reverend Morris kissed Jenna's lips as if they were the sweet fruit of Eden, and lifted her up. He pulled her drenched lacy panties off. It had been too damn long since he'd had pleasure so willingly offered to him like this. He parted her legs quickly, and, with no further warning, plunged his holy rod deep into her waiting cunt. He began to establish a fast-paced rhythm which soon had them both moaning in pleasure. "Ah hah!" Jenna gasped. "Oh, Reverend. Yes! Right there. Deeper. Deeper! God that feels amazing! Oh! Ah! Oh, Yes!" Jenna was in a state of complete euphoria. She had dreamt about what it would feel like to be fucked by a vicar, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think it would be this incredible. He was a skillful lover, hitting the sensitive nerves within her tunnel, bringing her ever closer to that heavenly pinnacle. Reverend Morris began to quicken his thrusts and rammed his hard staff deeper into her yearning vagina. He felt his climax coming; it was an uncontrollable wave of ecstasy. Faster and faster he thrust, the sound of colliding skin echoing throughout the vestry. Jenna kept on riding the vicar until he blasted his cum into her like a fire hose. "Ah! Praise the Lord!" Jenna looked at Reverend Morris, and for the first time in years, he looked truly satisfied. "For what I hath received, I am truly thankful," he panted. "Me too," Jenna replied, her insides filled with his thick cum. In the afterglow of their sinful fun, they kissed each other softly, caressing one another lovingly. Reverend Morris couldn't stop smiling. So that was what he'd been missing out on. Dear God! He doubted that Lucy could ever match Jenna's standards, even if she suddenly turned into a raving nympho. "I suppose, we should head over to the church hall," Jenna said, idly fingering his clerical collar. "More tea Vicar?" Jenna Plays the Organist's Organ Gordon Leesmith was not having a good day. Another Sunday, another morning Eucharist at St. Michael's, where he dutifully played the organ and directed the choir. It had all gone as planned, until the end of the service when that damned busybody John Norris had felt the need to vent his spleen. "You played the wrong opening hymn, Gordon," John exclaimed, as the congregation departed. "Great is Thy Faithfulness was selected, not Love Divine." "That's not what the vicar told me," Gordon muttered, not looking at him. He loathed this odious pedant. "Anyways I just thought I'd let you know. Patricia and I were a little confused." "No change there then," Gordon replied, unable to restrain himself. "Do you think maybe just for once you and wife might refrain from poking your noses into every bloody thing?" John was so taken aback, he couldn't speak for a moment. "Well really! There's no need for language, Gordon. I was merely saying,” "Don't come the innocent with me, you're the biggest shit-stirrer in this church. I've seen the gossip you spread on Facebook. And I'll play whatever bloody hymn I like, thank you very much." "I wouldn't argue in a church." "I'll argue anywhere as long as I'm in the right. Now bugger off!" Thus suitably chastised, the subdued John left, and Gordon was left to sort through his music sheets in peace. He adjusted his black robe and continued grumbling to himself. He wasn't always as grumpy and short-tempered as this. Years ago he'd been a jolly, fun-loving chap who enjoyed joking with other members of the church. That was before his divorce. Gordon was fifty-five, and had been organist and choirmaster at St Michael's for almost twenty years. Ten years ago, his wife Marjorie had run off with a man young enough to be her son. She was fifty and her lover was a twenty-five year old personal trainer. They'd met online. Gordon's world had been knocked for six. He never imagined Marjorie would cheat on him. They'd always been so happy, with a very active sex life. Jenna had been quietly observing the little outburst with much interest. After expressing an interest in joining the choir, Reverend Morris had warned her that the organist had the "shortest of short fuses." When she'd pressed him further, the vicar had revealed the details of Gordon's marital problems and sworn her to secrecy. Jenna licked her lips. She was aching for a romp with Reverend Morris right now, but he'd been asked to conduct a service at another local church this morning, and a female vicar had stood in for him. What was a horny lass to do? "Poor, miserable Gordon." Jenna mused. "I doubt he gets much action. He needs cheering up." Looking at him, she thought him quite good looking for an older man. He had a full head of silvery hair and unlike Reverend Morris, was of a stocky build. On the occasions she'd seen him minus his long black robe, he possessed quite a paunch. Jenna idly toyed with a strand of her hair, considering her next move. Gordon was giving off daddy kink vibes. "I wonder if the organist will let me play with his organ?" Gordon was busy rifling through hymn books and didn't notice Jenna saunter over at first. She cleared her throat and he glanced round. "Uh. Can I help you with something?" "Oh hello," Jenna replied, acting rather coy. "I, hope I haven't caught you at a bad time, Mr,” "Gordon. Bad time? There's never a good time," he muttered, giving the usual gruff response. "Nothing personal." "Well I just wanted to thank you, Gordon. You played my favorite hymn, Love Divine. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it." His attention captured, Gordon finally put down the books he was fiddling with and sat on the organ stool, facing her. "You did?" "I love anything by Charles Wesley. His hymns are amazing." "Indeed they are. He wrote thousands during his lifetime." Gordon certainly was hard to read. Jenna wondered if she was having any effect on him at all. His dour expression didn't give anything away. It looked like this chap was going to be quite a challenge. "Every week I come to church and I hear you play these lovely old hymns on this fine organ." Jenna continued. "I love hearing you play." "I've had enough practice. I've been doing this for many years now." Evidently, Gordon wasn't used to receiving any kind of compliments whatsoever. Jenna walked closer. "You're so talented." "Ah, well. That's, nice of you to say. What's your name?" Her persistence seemed to be paying off, and the organist appeared to be getting a little flustered at her flattery. "Jenna." "Do you play any musical instruments, Jenna?" Gordon replied. "Just the piano." He nodded. "Good, good. For work or just a hobby?" "Oh purely as a hobby," she smiled, flicking her red hair. "I was wondering, please could you play a bit of Charles Wesley for me?" Gordon's stern face finally relaxed into a smile. "Why certainly. What would you like to hear?" "Oh how about And Can It Be?" He shuffled around on the stool. "Very well. I often practice a bit after the morning service, when the others have left. I'm not one for idle chatter in the church hall." "Me neither," Jenna said, walking up to beside him, so close that her cleavage was at his eye level. Gordon couldn't help but give a side glance, and then quickly looked ahead. "Right, are you ready?" The strains of the great Wesleyan hymn filled the church as Gordon's fingers graced the mighty organ. Jenna hummed along, and then an idea came into her head. Suddenly, Gordon stopped playing. "I don't hear any singing, Jenna. How about you sing whilst I play?" "Ok!" She grinned, and he resumed playing. "And can it be, that I should gain - An int'rest in the Savior's blood?" Jenna deftly unfastened the first button on her white top. "Died He for me, who caused His pain,For me, who Him to death pursued?" Gordon happened to glance to his right again, and almost played a wrong note. Jenna continued singing. "Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" She unfastened another button. Gordon continued playing, and as the chorus approached, the third and final button of her top was swiftly unfastened. "Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" Gordon's eyes almost popped out of his head and he cleared his throat. "Go on, play a second verse!" Jenna said. He continued to play, but could feel his face burning. Jenna was singing her heart out, and seemed to be blissfully unaware that she'd suffered a wardrobe malfunction, she wasn't wearing a bra! Bloody hell, what a beautiful pair of tits, Gordon was uncomfortably hot all at once. He was no stranger to internet porn - after his divorce, porn was the only thing he could turn to in order to get a bit of relief, not that it really relieved him all that much, in fact it didn't turn him on at all anymore, he'd become impotent. Suddenly, with the young and beautiful Jenna inches away from him and, somewhat exposed, his dormant cock had surged back into life and was now straining against his underpants and trousers, "Just one more verse, Gordon! I'll give it my all." He continued playing and she resumed singing, her pale, pert breasts jiggling, inches from his face. "Oh dear God," Gordon thought to himself. What a situation to find oneself in. "Should I say something to her?" "My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!" Jenna pretended to lose her balance. "Whoops!" She said, toppling over and putting her hand on Gordon's thigh. He jolted and played a note that was so off-key, Les Dawson would've been impressed. "Oh Gordon that was such fun! I love that hymn so much!" An embarrassed Gordon quickly rose to his feet. "Um, I'm glad. Er, would you excuse me a minute, Jenna? I need to visit the gents." Jenna struggled to hold back a giggle as he hurried off to the toilets. "He must be rock hard by now," she smirked. "Probably having a wank. I'll give him a few minutes, then I'm going in there after him." Gordon had to relieve himself more frequently these days, due to that most troublesome of male organs - the prostate. Today however, it wasn't an enlarged prostate stopping him from peeing, but a raging boner. He couldn't remember the last time he'd got as hard as this. Unfastening his belt and trousers, he slipped a hand inside his underpants and pulled out his cock. He stroked himself and wondered what to do. That Jenna - was she actually flirting with him? That was ridiculous, she was young enough to be his daughter. What woman in her right mind would want to flirt with a fat old git like him? Still, how could she not have noticed her tits were hanging out like that? It seemed so deliberate. That stunning, red-haired vixen! He couldn't hide in the toilets forever. She might come in looking to see if he was alright. He zipped up his trousers, adjusted his robe and went back into the church, Jenna was sitting on the organ stool, legs crossed, but top wide open. "There you are, Gordon. I was beginning to think you'd flushed yourself down the loo. You're not trying to avoid me are you?" Gordon blushed crimson. "W-what are you playing at? Someone might come in at any moment?" Jenna shrugged. "So what?" Whoever is sat at the organ can't be seen from the door. You have to walk right down the side aisle and come right up close. Nobody can see us. And you played the hymn so good. I just want to show my appreciation." He blinked, mesmerized. "Was I really that good?" Jenna walked over to the organist. "Better than that," she said. She looked up at Gordon with dreamy, lust filled eyes. He was about to say something, but Jenna shut him off, grabbing his neck and pulling his head down to her level. She kissed him hard on the lips. Gordon didn't resist or try to pull away. Spurred on by this, Jenna wrapped his arms round Gordon's sides and pressed her body against his. The organist struggled to stay upright for a second, but regained his balance. He lowered his head and feasted on her hardened nipples, until Jenna pushed him down onto the stool, his back to the organ. "What's that passage in the Bible, something about the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak?" Jenna teased, running her hand across his robe-covered thighs. "Uh, I just play the hymns," Gordon sighed, as her hand brushed his crotch. "You're leading me into temptation, that's all I can say. Look what you've done to me!" "I haven't started yet," Jenna smiled, lifting up his black robe, revealing black trousers. His crotch bulge was enormous. "I'm going to have fun playing THIS organ," Jenna said. She felt bolder and more in control than she had ever before, more than when she'd seduced Reverend Morris last week. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his underwear. Gordon was wearing white y-front underpants, and his cock was straining against the fabric; a large wet spot had appeared. Jenna caressed the bulge, then carefully pulled down his damp y-fronts, revealing his painfully engorged cock. It was average in length but girthy. She began kissing his shaft, which twitched and leaked precum. Gordon gripped the sides of the stool so tight, his fingernails turned white. "Oh God,” "Gordon could you stand up for a sec? Your undies are in the way." Immediately, he did as she asked, and she pulled his underpants and trousers down to his ankles. Half an hour ago, such actions would've been unthinkable, he could barely think at all right now. All his anger and frustration and pent-up desire were released at once, when he felt Jenna's hands slip round his shaft. "That's better." Jenna said. "What a magnificent organ you have!" Sweat ran down Gordon's brow as the temptress licked the head of his cock. The taste of precum was like nectar to her tongue. He was groaning louder now, as Jenna reached his most sensitive areas. She deep throated and sucked him hard and he yelled in pleasure. His balls were so full, he feared they'd explode. "Oh Jenna, harder, more! Yes!" Gordon groaned, putting his hand on her head. She gripped his bare thighs and buried her face deeper between his legs, sucking him. His wiry grey pubes were tickling her nose. Gordon cried out in joy. Jenna withdrew, only to run her tongue around the underside of his cock. "Oh fuck, I'm coming!" Gordon yelled. He lay back, forgetting the organ was behind him, and his elbows pressed against the lower keyboard. A horrific cacophony of wrong notes filled the church, but neither he or Jenna cared. Gordon reached his peak quickly and it was impossible to stop himself. He repeated Jenna's name, over and over again, as she licked his throbbing member. He let go, feeling that intense wave of pleasure spread up from his balls and across his whole body. A huge stream of cum spurted down Jenna's throat. She swallowed the seed greedily. Cum tasted so good, and Gordon's was especially thick, tangy and delicious. A second spurt landed right between her breasts, while a third and final load sprayed right across her face, leaving her coated in the gooey, sticky essence. "Mmm, Gordon, that was the best!" She slowly licked around his cockhead, as some final drops of cum dripped out. "What on earth is Gordon doing?" Mrs. Norris wondered as she hurried to the church. The din from the organ was so bad, it could be heard in the church hall. She pulled a face and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses. "What a dreadful noise!" Marching down the aisle, she shouted Gordon's name, but there was no way he could hear due to the deafening din of the organ. Gordon sat up on the stool and the awful noise ceased. "What a delightful mess you've made!" Jenna giggled, as his cum trickled down her face and breasts. "I, I'll get you some tissues," he gasped, still in a blissful stupor. "I really enjoyed playing your organ. Can I play it again sometime?" Gordon's heart jumped in his chest. There was going to be a next time? "Of course you can!" "Gordon, what are you doing? Ah, Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?” "Oh shit," Gordon exclaimed as he noticed Mrs. Norris standing there. The look on her face was priceless. "What's your problem?" Jenna replied. "Have you never seen a woman playing an organ before?" Passion at the vicarage. After another boring day in her dead-end office job, Jenna was glad to be on her way home. Friday at last, thank God. And speaking of God, her smartphone had just vibrated. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled it out and smiled as she read the message. Hi Archangel Jen God's servant on Earth wondered if you'd like to spend some time with him tonight? Can't wait until Sunday. He has of you the great need and is all alone in the vicarage. L is away visiting sis until Monday. She's taken C along too. xxx R.M "Oh yes!" She said out loud. The vicarage would be more comfortable than another fuck in the vestry. Quickly, she composed a reply. Praise the Lord! Just got to go home and change into something holier, or not! will be there in half an hour. xxx Jenna got into her car. A fun night of "worship" beckoned. St Michael's vicarage was set back from the main road by the church, down a long driveway flanked by beech trees. The trees were already on the turn, ready to show off their autumn color. "Nice," Jenna mused as she admired the attractive garden. "This place is huge." It was way grander than the two bed semi where she'd grown up, and was still living at, with her parents. The cost of living crisis had meant that fleeing the nest had been put on hold. She knocked on the door. She hadn't been waiting for long, when Reverend Morris opened it, No cassock and surplice on tonight, just his "everyday vicar garb" as she termed it - black shirt, clerical collar and black trousers. "Hello Jenna." he said, his voice a little shaky with nervous excitement. He took a deep breath. She looked absolutely stunning, in a figure-hugging black dress. "Wow, um, come in. You look lovely." Jenna flashed him a winning smile. "Why thank you, Reverend! Great place you have here. Your garden's really nice." "Ah, yes it is. Not my efforts, I'm afraid. I have many volunteers who keep it looking good. After all, it's only my house for as long as I'm vicar at St Michaels." He tried not to keep staring, but it was hard not to. "Have, you eaten?" "Not really. Didn't have time. I grabbed a few biscuits on the way out." "Oh good! I was so hoping you'd say that. I thought I could cook us something. I really enjoy cooking." Jenna hadn't been expecting this. "Oh that's so nice of you." It was best to ravish the reverend on a full stomach. "What sort of stuff do you like? You're not veggie or vegan are you?" "Nope. I love my meat. I pretty much eat anything." Reverend Morris smiled. "Same here! Okay, how does fillet steak, chips, side salad and a glass of red wine sound?" "Heavenly!" "By the way, I was at the midweek hymn practice, and Gordon the organist seems to have undergone a personality transplant! I've never seen him so happy. Was he like that when you spoke to him about the choir last Sunday?" Jenna bit her lip. "Hmm, he was a little moody at first, but after I paid him a compliment, he sort of brightened up." "Blimey, whatever did you say to him? He's like a different bloke. He's bitten my head off a few times in the past." "Well," Jenna said innocently, "I thanked him for playing one of my favorite hymns, and said how much I admired his organ, er, his organ playing. I'm a big fan of Charles Wesley." "He did write some great hymns." "Umm, yes. Over 6000 hymns. And he somehow found the time to father eight children. How did he find the time?" Jenna added with a mischievous grin. Reverend Morris chuckled. "Perhaps writing hymns made him very horny!" They both laughed at this. The vicar rose from his chair. "I'd say that steak is just about ready," he said, hurrying into the kitchen. At that moment, Jenna felt her phone vibrate. Quickly, she slipped it out of her bag. Another message. Who was it this time? I have a message from Charles Wesley. He wonders if u would to see his hard, bulging hymn book. Hope 2 c u at church this Sunday. G [heart emoji] "Oh Gordon," Jenna giggled to herself, and switched the phone off. "It's hard work being such a good Christian and helping those in need." The meal was delicious, and to add to the mood, Reverend Morris had some relaxing Gregorian chant music playing in the background. Jenna had never been wined and dined like this before, and after they'd finished, felt it only right to thank the vicar for his kindness. In an instant, Jenna's lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. His hands were in her hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. If it was a dream, Reverend Morris never wanted it to end. This woman had awakened something in him that he couldn't quite describe. At this point, as Jenna took his hand and led him upstairs, he realized his marriage to Lucy was well and truly stone dead. The reverend's hands were at Jenna's side, unzipping then lifting the silky material of her dress slowly, over her navel, over her chest, over her head, off. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of her breasts, round and perfect, the stuff of many a dream but beautiful beyond any imagining. His hands cupped them gently. His mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took her nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. His hands roamed down over her arse, lavishing her smooth curves. Jenna was amazed at Reverend Morris' confident handling of her body. His sensual, hallowed hands moved over her, sending her heart racing, and she wasted no time in freeing him from his clothing. As Reverend Morris moved to lay over her, he could sense her need. It was almost as palpable as his own desire, and he was eager to satisfy them both. Jenna's hands guided his pulsating member, and at last he thrust boldly into her waiting cunt. The reverend gasped in spite of himself as his rod slid into this tight, warm pleasure hole. She held him so tightly and the sensations that coursed through his loins were beyond what he'd experienced back in the vestry a fortnight ago. Jenna's eyes rolled back as Reverend Morris' cock filled her with perfect execution. She bucked her hips up in time with his forceful thrusts, her hands gripped tightly around his shoulders. His grunts of pleasure were deep and resonant, arousing her even further. His hot shaft bore into her over and over again, gaining intensity with every thrust. Jenna began seeing flashes of light behind her eyes, and she knew that their moment was near. Moments later, they climaxed together; Jenna's cunt was filled to the brim with another load of holy spunk. "God in Heaven! I think we have sinned, a lot!" To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.
Jenna enjoys sexuality without shame, in the church. By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna seduces the Vicar. St Michael's parish church was a charming place of worship that dated back to the 12th century. A quaint little church, the sort that one could see in countless towns and villages across England. Within its walls however, all was not well. Ill-feeling festered among some of the male members of the church, the vicar included. But God, in his great mercy and wisdom, saw fit to send a beautiful angel to this church, in order to bring happiness. And so, our story begins,Reverend Simon Morris was a vicar who hadn't gotten laid in a long time. Aged forty, he'd been at St Michael's for nearly three years now. He prided himself on the success he'd had in increasing the congregation of this little church. The previous vicar, Reverend Smith, had died very suddenly from a stroke back in 2019, leaving the community devastated. Reverend Morris knew he had big boots to fill. So far, God had been with him all the way. He'd steered the church through the Covid pandemic and defied orders to close it during the lockdowns. This action had earned him a lot of respect, not to mention he'd gained a few more loyal sheep who'd deserted other churches. There was just one area where God had been unable to help him - his sexless marriage. He'd been married to Lucy for nearly ten years now and they had a four year old son, Christopher. Unfortunately, it was shortly after Christopher's birth that the avenue of carnal pleasure was closed off to him. He'd tried everything to re-ignite the spark, but nothing worked. Now Christopher had started primary school, Reverend Morris had hoped that things would improve, but instead, he and Lucy drifted further apart. He kept up the appearance that everything was perfect, during the many social functions he had to hold at the vicarage. Inside however, his frustration threatened to overwhelm him. "O Lord God, who hast called thy servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown: Give us faith to go out with a good courage, not knowing whither we go, but only that thy hand is leading us, and thy love supporting us; to the glory of thy Name. Amen." Reverend Morris said a quick prayer to himself as he shook hands with the last of the members of the congregation. He let out a sigh of relief. Another Sunday service had passed - with an increase in numbers. He looked at his watch. He had a brief few minutes to head to the vestry, change out of his cassock and surplice, and pop over to the church hall for tea and biscuits. The usual chit chat with his faithful flock. The nosy old ladies, Josh, the new and nervous curate, Yulia the Ukrainian refugee and her two young children, Amir and Majid, the Iranian brothers who'd fled persecution in their homeland due to being Christians, Debbie the single mother and Sunday school teacher, Tony the reformed drug addict, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the church's resident do-gooders; a pair of boomers who made it their business to know more about the C of E than the Archbishop of Canterbury, Then there was Jenna Fox. Twenty, red haired and absolutely stunning. And too young for him. He'd spotted her in the congregation earlier, but not on the way out. Which could only mean, "Good morning Reverend!" Jenna said, bold as brass, sauntering out of the toilets, where she'd obviously been waiting for the others to depart. "Oh, good morning Jenna," Reverend Morris replied, staring at her and then quickly averting his eyes downwards. She was wearing attire that was barely suitable for church - a low cut black top and black pleated miniskirt. "I wore black today. For the Queen. Loved your sermon reflecting on her long reign. It was really touching." "Thanks. Glad you liked it. It's been hard to write. So, are you heading over to the church hall? I'll be there shortly." "Mmm, maybe later," she grinned. "Did you know Reverend, that you actually resemble Prince Edward a bit?" Feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she was, he felt color rise in his cheeks. "Uh, well thanks. I'll take that as a compliment! Do excuse me Jenna, I just have to ditch these vestments, then I shall be going to the hall." He hurried off to the vestry. In there, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was an average-looking bloke, not the sort that a stunning younger woman would lust after. "Well at least I'm much younger than Prince Edward." He smiled. Suddenly, the door opened. "You're not getting away from me this time Reverend," Jenna whispered, shutting the door behind her. Before he could say anything, she'd cornered him. Glancing into his pale blue eyes for a moment, she covered his lips with hers, feeling him tense up as her arms reached round his back. After a few seconds, he relaxed, as if he knew resistance of any kind was futile. Jenna could feel the heat of his body through his cassock. "I've wanted you for a long time Reverend," she murmured. "Ever since you taught me that Introduction to Christianity course six months ago." "J-Jenna, this isn't appropriate. I, I am a married man!" "Not a very happy one, I suspect. I can always tell." A shuddering sigh escaped him as her lips brushed his again. Jenna broke the kiss. "Is there any space in here to conduct unholy activities, Reverend?" Powerless to resist this angel of sin, the smitten vicar grabbed her slim hips and motioned her to straddle his lap. "Jenna," he mumbled, rubbing one thumb over the outline of her hardened bra-less nipple through her thin top. "It's, er, been a long time since I was in a situation like this." "Your wife,” "Lucy and I have been leading separate, and sexless lives for years." "I'm sorry to hear that. So let me bring you some salvation." He leaned in to kiss the exposed skin of Jenna's neck; his lips leaving a hot trail from just below her ear to the center of her throat at the neck of her black top. Then he took the lower hem of the top and pushed it up to bare her belly, and then her pert C-cup breasts. Leaning her back, he took one nipple with his lips and she gasped. He was not only willing, but rampant; as Jenna had suspected, it had been a long time since this man had got laid. Even with the cassock and surplice on, there was no disguising the Reverend's raging erection. Jenna explored eagerly, desperately, reaching under the cassock, feeling his hard erection through his trousers. Lord Jesus, Jenna was trembling so much with excitement. She'd had a clergy fetish for years and fantasized about seducing the vicar for such a long time. Reverend Morris returned his attention to her breasts and she was so wet she could almost feel herself dripping into her panties. Without further ado, she unfastened his belt before reaching for his zipper. Reverend Morris attempted to remove his surplice. "No, no, leave that on," Jenna said. "As you wish." He mumbled holding up his cassock, almost unable to comprehend what was about to happen. Jenna knelt in front of the vicar, pulled down the zipper of his trousers, and exposed white boxer shorts - adorned with little Christian crosses. "Oh wow. Where did you get those, Reverend?" Jenna grinned. He blushed. "Um, a church event I attended in London. The gift shop was quite varied,” "Umm." Jenna pulled down his trousers and boxers, freeing his heated cock. "Ah. The staff of life." She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip. "Oh dear God," Reverend Morris groaned. As she groped his shaft, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was. "Ooh, Reverend you certainly have sinned," Jenna smiled. "Nice and wet - just how I like it." She teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. She began to suck him off furiously, her head bobbing up and down faster and faster, her tongue licking the sensitive underside of his shaft. "Oh, I am blessed!" He gasped. Jenna licked every inch of his love pole, running her tongue cross every vein, igniting every nerve ending. The vicar cried out in joy. Then she withdrew and looked up at him. In her throatiest, most sexy tone, she said, "Well Reverend, are you just going to stand there, or come and tame your lost sheep?" Like a bolt of lightning, Reverend Morris kissed Jenna's lips as if they were the sweet fruit of Eden, and lifted her up. He pulled her drenched lacy panties off. It had been too damn long since he'd had pleasure so willingly offered to him like this. He parted her legs quickly, and, with no further warning, plunged his holy rod deep into her waiting cunt. He began to establish a fast-paced rhythm which soon had them both moaning in pleasure. "Ah hah!" Jenna gasped. "Oh, Reverend. Yes! Right there. Deeper. Deeper! God that feels amazing! Oh! Ah! Oh, Yes!" Jenna was in a state of complete euphoria. She had dreamt about what it would feel like to be fucked by a vicar, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think it would be this incredible. He was a skillful lover, hitting the sensitive nerves within her tunnel, bringing her ever closer to that heavenly pinnacle. Reverend Morris began to quicken his thrusts and rammed his hard staff deeper into her yearning vagina. He felt his climax coming; it was an uncontrollable wave of ecstasy. Faster and faster he thrust, the sound of colliding skin echoing throughout the vestry. Jenna kept on riding the vicar until he blasted his cum into her like a fire hose. "Ah! Praise the Lord!" Jenna looked at Reverend Morris, and for the first time in years, he looked truly satisfied. "For what I hath received, I am truly thankful," he panted. "Me too," Jenna replied, her insides filled with his thick cum. In the afterglow of their sinful fun, they kissed each other softly, caressing one another lovingly. Reverend Morris couldn't stop smiling. So that was what he'd been missing out on. Dear God! He doubted that Lucy could ever match Jenna's standards, even if she suddenly turned into a raving nympho. "I suppose, we should head over to the church hall," Jenna said, idly fingering his clerical collar. "More tea Vicar?" Jenna Plays the Organist's Organ Gordon Leesmith was not having a good day. Another Sunday, another morning Eucharist at St. Michael's, where he dutifully played the organ and directed the choir. It had all gone as planned, until the end of the service when that damned busybody John Norris had felt the need to vent his spleen. "You played the wrong opening hymn, Gordon," John exclaimed, as the congregation departed. "Great is Thy Faithfulness was selected, not Love Divine." "That's not what the vicar told me," Gordon muttered, not looking at him. He loathed this odious pedant. "Anyways I just thought I'd let you know. Patricia and I were a little confused." "No change there then," Gordon replied, unable to restrain himself. "Do you think maybe just for once you and wife might refrain from poking your noses into every bloody thing?" John was so taken aback, he couldn't speak for a moment. "Well really! There's no need for language, Gordon. I was merely saying,” "Don't come the innocent with me, you're the biggest shit-stirrer in this church. I've seen the gossip you spread on Facebook. And I'll play whatever bloody hymn I like, thank you very much." "I wouldn't argue in a church." "I'll argue anywhere as long as I'm in the right. Now bugger off!" Thus suitably chastised, the subdued John left, and Gordon was left to sort through his music sheets in peace. He adjusted his black robe and continued grumbling to himself. He wasn't always as grumpy and short-tempered as this. Years ago he'd been a jolly, fun-loving chap who enjoyed joking with other members of the church. That was before his divorce. Gordon was fifty-five, and had been organist and choirmaster at St Michael's for almost twenty years. Ten years ago, his wife Marjorie had run off with a man young enough to be her son. She was fifty and her lover was a twenty-five year old personal trainer. They'd met online. Gordon's world had been knocked for six. He never imagined Marjorie would cheat on him. They'd always been so happy, with a very active sex life. Jenna had been quietly observing the little outburst with much interest. After expressing an interest in joining the choir, Reverend Morris had warned her that the organist had the "shortest of short fuses." When she'd pressed him further, the vicar had revealed the details of Gordon's marital problems and sworn her to secrecy. Jenna licked her lips. She was aching for a romp with Reverend Morris right now, but he'd been asked to conduct a service at another local church this morning, and a female vicar had stood in for him. What was a horny lass to do? "Poor, miserable Gordon." Jenna mused. "I doubt he gets much action. He needs cheering up." Looking at him, she thought him quite good looking for an older man. He had a full head of silvery hair and unlike Reverend Morris, was of a stocky build. On the occasions she'd seen him minus his long black robe, he possessed quite a paunch. Jenna idly toyed with a strand of her hair, considering her next move. Gordon was giving off daddy kink vibes. "I wonder if the organist will let me play with his organ?" Gordon was busy rifling through hymn books and didn't notice Jenna saunter over at first. She cleared her throat and he glanced round. "Uh. Can I help you with something?" "Oh hello," Jenna replied, acting rather coy. "I, hope I haven't caught you at a bad time, Mr,” "Gordon. Bad time? There's never a good time," he muttered, giving the usual gruff response. "Nothing personal." "Well I just wanted to thank you, Gordon. You played my favorite hymn, Love Divine. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it." His attention captured, Gordon finally put down the books he was fiddling with and sat on the organ stool, facing her. "You did?" "I love anything by Charles Wesley. His hymns are amazing." "Indeed they are. He wrote thousands during his lifetime." Gordon certainly was hard to read. Jenna wondered if she was having any effect on him at all. His dour expression didn't give anything away. It looked like this chap was going to be quite a challenge. "Every week I come to church and I hear you play these lovely old hymns on this fine organ." Jenna continued. "I love hearing you play." "I've had enough practice. I've been doing this for many years now." Evidently, Gordon wasn't used to receiving any kind of compliments whatsoever. Jenna walked closer. "You're so talented." "Ah, well. That's, nice of you to say. What's your name?" Her persistence seemed to be paying off, and the organist appeared to be getting a little flustered at her flattery. "Jenna." "Do you play any musical instruments, Jenna?" Gordon replied. "Just the piano." He nodded. "Good, good. For work or just a hobby?" "Oh purely as a hobby," she smiled, flicking her red hair. "I was wondering, please could you play a bit of Charles Wesley for me?" Gordon's stern face finally relaxed into a smile. "Why certainly. What would you like to hear?" "Oh how about And Can It Be?" He shuffled around on the stool. "Very well. I often practice a bit after the morning service, when the others have left. I'm not one for idle chatter in the church hall." "Me neither," Jenna said, walking up to beside him, so close that her cleavage was at his eye level. Gordon couldn't help but give a side glance, and then quickly looked ahead. "Right, are you ready?" The strains of the great Wesleyan hymn filled the church as Gordon's fingers graced the mighty organ. Jenna hummed along, and then an idea came into her head. Suddenly, Gordon stopped playing. "I don't hear any singing, Jenna. How about you sing whilst I play?" "Ok!" She grinned, and he resumed playing. "And can it be, that I should gain - An int'rest in the Savior's blood?" Jenna deftly unfastened the first button on her white top. "Died He for me, who caused His pain,For me, who Him to death pursued?" Gordon happened to glance to his right again, and almost played a wrong note. Jenna continued singing. "Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" She unfastened another button. Gordon continued playing, and as the chorus approached, the third and final button of her top was swiftly unfastened. "Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" Gordon's eyes almost popped out of his head and he cleared his throat. "Go on, play a second verse!" Jenna said. He continued to play, but could feel his face burning. Jenna was singing her heart out, and seemed to be blissfully unaware that she'd suffered a wardrobe malfunction, she wasn't wearing a bra! Bloody hell, what a beautiful pair of tits, Gordon was uncomfortably hot all at once. He was no stranger to internet porn - after his divorce, porn was the only thing he could turn to in order to get a bit of relief, not that it really relieved him all that much, in fact it didn't turn him on at all anymore, he'd become impotent. Suddenly, with the young and beautiful Jenna inches away from him and, somewhat exposed, his dormant cock had surged back into life and was now straining against his underpants and trousers, "Just one more verse, Gordon! I'll give it my all." He continued playing and she resumed singing, her pale, pert breasts jiggling, inches from his face. "Oh dear God," Gordon thought to himself. What a situation to find oneself in. "Should I say something to her?" "My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!" Jenna pretended to lose her balance. "Whoops!" She said, toppling over and putting her hand on Gordon's thigh. He jolted and played a note that was so off-key, Les Dawson would've been impressed. "Oh Gordon that was such fun! I love that hymn so much!" An embarrassed Gordon quickly rose to his feet. "Um, I'm glad. Er, would you excuse me a minute, Jenna? I need to visit the gents." Jenna struggled to hold back a giggle as he hurried off to the toilets. "He must be rock hard by now," she smirked. "Probably having a wank. I'll give him a few minutes, then I'm going in there after him." Gordon had to relieve himself more frequently these days, due to that most troublesome of male organs - the prostate. Today however, it wasn't an enlarged prostate stopping him from peeing, but a raging boner. He couldn't remember the last time he'd got as hard as this. Unfastening his belt and trousers, he slipped a hand inside his underpants and pulled out his cock. He stroked himself and wondered what to do. That Jenna - was she actually flirting with him? That was ridiculous, she was young enough to be his daughter. What woman in her right mind would want to flirt with a fat old git like him? Still, how could she not have noticed her tits were hanging out like that? It seemed so deliberate. That stunning, red-haired vixen! He couldn't hide in the toilets forever. She might come in looking to see if he was alright. He zipped up his trousers, adjusted his robe and went back into the church, Jenna was sitting on the organ stool, legs crossed, but top wide open. "There you are, Gordon. I was beginning to think you'd flushed yourself down the loo. You're not trying to avoid me are you?" Gordon blushed crimson. "W-what are you playing at? Someone might come in at any moment?" Jenna shrugged. "So what?" Whoever is sat at the organ can't be seen from the door. You have to walk right down the side aisle and come right up close. Nobody can see us. And you played the hymn so good. I just want to show my appreciation." He blinked, mesmerized. "Was I really that good?" Jenna walked over to the organist. "Better than that," she said. She looked up at Gordon with dreamy, lust filled eyes. He was about to say something, but Jenna shut him off, grabbing his neck and pulling his head down to her level. She kissed him hard on the lips. Gordon didn't resist or try to pull away. Spurred on by this, Jenna wrapped his arms round Gordon's sides and pressed her body against his. The organist struggled to stay upright for a second, but regained his balance. He lowered his head and feasted on her hardened nipples, until Jenna pushed him down onto the stool, his back to the organ. "What's that passage in the Bible, something about the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak?" Jenna teased, running her hand across his robe-covered thighs. "Uh, I just play the hymns," Gordon sighed, as her hand brushed his crotch. "You're leading me into temptation, that's all I can say. Look what you've done to me!" "I haven't started yet," Jenna smiled, lifting up his black robe, revealing black trousers. His crotch bulge was enormous. "I'm going to have fun playing THIS organ," Jenna said. She felt bolder and more in control than she had ever before, more than when she'd seduced Reverend Morris last week. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his underwear. Gordon was wearing white y-front underpants, and his cock was straining against the fabric; a large wet spot had appeared. Jenna caressed the bulge, then carefully pulled down his damp y-fronts, revealing his painfully engorged cock. It was average in length but girthy. She began kissing his shaft, which twitched and leaked precum. Gordon gripped the sides of the stool so tight, his fingernails turned white. "Oh God,” "Gordon could you stand up for a sec? Your undies are in the way." Immediately, he did as she asked, and she pulled his underpants and trousers down to his ankles. Half an hour ago, such actions would've been unthinkable, he could barely think at all right now. All his anger and frustration and pent-up desire were released at once, when he felt Jenna's hands slip round his shaft. "That's better." Jenna said. "What a magnificent organ you have!" Sweat ran down Gordon's brow as the temptress licked the head of his cock. The taste of precum was like nectar to her tongue. He was groaning louder now, as Jenna reached his most sensitive areas. She deep throated and sucked him hard and he yelled in pleasure. His balls were so full, he feared they'd explode. "Oh Jenna, harder, more! Yes!" Gordon groaned, putting his hand on her head. She gripped his bare thighs and buried her face deeper between his legs, sucking him. His wiry grey pubes were tickling her nose. Gordon cried out in joy. Jenna withdrew, only to run her tongue around the underside of his cock. "Oh fuck, I'm coming!" Gordon yelled. He lay back, forgetting the organ was behind him, and his elbows pressed against the lower keyboard. A horrific cacophony of wrong notes filled the church, but neither he or Jenna cared. Gordon reached his peak quickly and it was impossible to stop himself. He repeated Jenna's name, over and over again, as she licked his throbbing member. He let go, feeling that intense wave of pleasure spread up from his balls and across his whole body. A huge stream of cum spurted down Jenna's throat. She swallowed the seed greedily. Cum tasted so good, and Gordon's was especially thick, tangy and delicious. A second spurt landed right between her breasts, while a third and final load sprayed right across her face, leaving her coated in the gooey, sticky essence. "Mmm, Gordon, that was the best!" She slowly licked around his cockhead, as some final drops of cum dripped out. "What on earth is Gordon doing?" Mrs. Norris wondered as she hurried to the church. The din from the organ was so bad, it could be heard in the church hall. She pulled a face and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses. "What a dreadful noise!" Marching down the aisle, she shouted Gordon's name, but there was no way he could hear due to the deafening din of the organ. Gordon sat up on the stool and the awful noise ceased. "What a delightful mess you've made!" Jenna giggled, as his cum trickled down her face and breasts. "I, I'll get you some tissues," he gasped, still in a blissful stupor. "I really enjoyed playing your organ. Can I play it again sometime?" Gordon's heart jumped in his chest. There was going to be a next time? "Of course you can!" "Gordon, what are you doing? Ah, Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?” "Oh shit," Gordon exclaimed as he noticed Mrs. Norris standing there. The look on her face was priceless. "What's your problem?" Jenna replied. "Have you never seen a woman playing an organ before?" Passion at the vicarage. After another boring day in her dead-end office job, Jenna was glad to be on her way home. Friday at last, thank God. And speaking of God, her smartphone had just vibrated. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled it out and smiled as she read the message. Hi Archangel Jen God's servant on Earth wondered if you'd like to spend some time with him tonight? Can't wait until Sunday. He has of you the great need and is all alone in the vicarage. L is away visiting sis until Monday. She's taken C along too. xxx R.M "Oh yes!" She said out loud. The vicarage would be more comfortable than another fuck in the vestry. Quickly, she composed a reply. Praise the Lord! Just got to go home and change into something holier, or not! will be there in half an hour. xxx Jenna got into her car. A fun night of "worship" beckoned. St Michael's vicarage was set back from the main road by the church, down a long driveway flanked by beech trees. The trees were already on the turn, ready to show off their autumn color. "Nice," Jenna mused as she admired the attractive garden. "This place is huge." It was way grander than the two bed semi where she'd grown up, and was still living at, with her parents. The cost of living crisis had meant that fleeing the nest had been put on hold. She knocked on the door. She hadn't been waiting for long, when Reverend Morris opened it, No cassock and surplice on tonight, just his "everyday vicar garb" as she termed it - black shirt, clerical collar and black trousers. "Hello Jenna." he said, his voice a little shaky with nervous excitement. He took a deep breath. She looked absolutely stunning, in a figure-hugging black dress. "Wow, um, come in. You look lovely." Jenna flashed him a winning smile. "Why thank you, Reverend! Great place you have here. Your garden's really nice." "Ah, yes it is. Not my efforts, I'm afraid. I have many volunteers who keep it looking good. After all, it's only my house for as long as I'm vicar at St Michaels." He tried not to keep staring, but it was hard not to. "Have, you eaten?" "Not really. Didn't have time. I grabbed a few biscuits on the way out." "Oh good! I was so hoping you'd say that. I thought I could cook us something. I really enjoy cooking." Jenna hadn't been expecting this. "Oh that's so nice of you." It was best to ravish the reverend on a full stomach. "What sort of stuff do you like? You're not veggie or vegan are you?" "Nope. I love my meat. I pretty much eat anything." Reverend Morris smiled. "Same here! Okay, how does fillet steak, chips, side salad and a glass of red wine sound?" "Heavenly!" "By the way, I was at the midweek hymn practice, and Gordon the organist seems to have undergone a personality transplant! I've never seen him so happy. Was he like that when you spoke to him about the choir last Sunday?" Jenna bit her lip. "Hmm, he was a little moody at first, but after I paid him a compliment, he sort of brightened up." "Blimey, whatever did you say to him? He's like a different bloke. He's bitten my head off a few times in the past." "Well," Jenna said innocently, "I thanked him for playing one of my favorite hymns, and said how much I admired his organ, er, his organ playing. I'm a big fan of Charles Wesley." "He did write some great hymns." "Umm, yes. Over 6000 hymns. And he somehow found the time to father eight children. How did he find the time?" Jenna added with a mischievous grin. Reverend Morris chuckled. "Perhaps writing hymns made him very horny!" They both laughed at this. The vicar rose from his chair. "I'd say that steak is just about ready," he said, hurrying into the kitchen. At that moment, Jenna felt her phone vibrate. Quickly, she slipped it out of her bag. Another message. Who was it this time? I have a message from Charles Wesley. He wonders if u would to see his hard, bulging hymn book. Hope 2 c u at church this Sunday. G [heart emoji] "Oh Gordon," Jenna giggled to herself, and switched the phone off. "It's hard work being such a good Christian and helping those in need." The meal was delicious, and to add to the mood, Reverend Morris had some relaxing Gregorian chant music playing in the background. Jenna had never been wined and dined like this before, and after they'd finished, felt it only right to thank the vicar for his kindness. In an instant, Jenna's lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. His hands were in her hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. If it was a dream, Reverend Morris never wanted it to end. This woman had awakened something in him that he couldn't quite describe. At this point, as Jenna took his hand and led him upstairs, he realized his marriage to Lucy was well and truly stone dead. The reverend's hands were at Jenna's side, unzipping then lifting the silky material of her dress slowly, over her navel, over her chest, over her head, off. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of her breasts, round and perfect, the stuff of many a dream but beautiful beyond any imagining. His hands cupped them gently. His mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took her nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. His hands roamed down over her arse, lavishing her smooth curves. Jenna was amazed at Reverend Morris' confident handling of her body. His sensual, hallowed hands moved over her, sending her heart racing, and she wasted no time in freeing him from his clothing. As Reverend Morris moved to lay over her, he could sense her need. It was almost as palpable as his own desire, and he was eager to satisfy them both. Jenna's hands guided his pulsating member, and at last he thrust boldly into her waiting cunt. The reverend gasped in spite of himself as his rod slid into this tight, warm pleasure hole. She held him so tightly and the sensations that coursed through his loins were beyond what he'd experienced back in the vestry a fortnight ago. Jenna's eyes rolled back as Reverend Morris' cock filled her with perfect execution. She bucked her hips up in time with his forceful thrusts, her hands gripped tightly around his shoulders. His grunts of pleasure were deep and resonant, arousing her even further. His hot shaft bore into her over and over again, gaining intensity with every thrust. Jenna began seeing flashes of light behind her eyes, and she knew that their moment was near. Moments later, they climaxed together; Jenna's cunt was filled to the brim with another load of holy spunk. "God in Heaven! I think we have sinned, a lot!" To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.
From wearing Rockports, sneaking out to clubs and cutting her own fringe; Charlotte is joined by her Mum, our Trace, to discuss Charlotte's teenage years. They reminisce about Charlotte's late father Les Dawson and the birth of Charlotte, and decide whether Mum Tracy deserves a trip to the Naughty Corner for taking a young Charlotte to tanning shops. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jon Culshaw is an accomplished Comedian, Actor and widely regarded as Britain's best Impressionist. Best known for Dead Ringers and Spitting Image, he has an unmatched versatility and a catalogue of over 350 voices and impressions. As well as being part of countless shows on TV, Radio Royal Variety performances and Doctor Who related productions - Jon also performed at the iconic Edinburgh Festival in a number of rave review shows that also toured the country. Some of Jon's most recognisable impressions include Tony Blair, Donald Trump, John Major and Les Dawson and he recently played the role of Boris Johnson in the RTS award winning drama - Partygate. In this episode Jon takes us through his discovery of finding his talent with some recognisable voices along the way! He discusses his belief in the power of coincidence and some amazing moments of fate from his life. He chats all about the moment his friend encouraged him to do impressions on his radio show which was the catalyst to begin a whole chain of events that led him to his successful career! We discuss the moment when he bumped into a friend on the way to the gym and how going for a curry instead of a workout changed his life. And we delve into the amazing moment of fate when going to the pub for a grey day omelette and chips, led to Jon running a marathon in Kenya!@slidingdoorspodHosted by: @jenbecks28Guest: @jonculshaw Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
AKA The Boy who made me livid.. Not everyone is here to let you down. Unless that person is Luke Prior, who aims to let you down from the moment you start recording. Join us as we plumb the depths of light entertainment and confuse the majority of our audience with a mixture of 80s BBC comedy shows and brand new card games. We're so cutting edge that we're talking Lorcana and Star Wars Unlimited MONTHS after it came out, but we also chat about the following nonsense. 2:00 Madonna 3:45 'Allo 'Allo 9:15 Les Dawson 11:30 A&E visits 14:45 Kids Today 20:00 I'm old and tired but still good fun 27:45 Oathsworn 36:00 Videogames being tricky 42:00 Unplayed Mythic Battles 45:00 Lorcana and Star Wars Unlimited 01:02:00 Word from the Sponsor in the Hole 01:03:00 UnMatched 01:13:00 Cat In a Box Our Links of Note If you would like to support us then please visit and interact with the links below. Please give us a rating or review on your podcast catcher of choice. Also, please let someone else know about our show, as recommendations are wonderful things. OUR LINKS OF NOTES (https://linktr.ee/werenotwizards) Apple Podcasts | Our Blog, Reviews, Previews and Thoughts | Our YouTube Channel Our BGG Guild | Board Game Geek Page | Website | Facebook | Instagram Buy Some Merch Stay Safe, Roll Sixes, Make Something Awful..
On this episode (14) - Barry's speaking part in a Christopher Nolan film, the eclipse, Rishi Sunak and Adidas Samba, more screenplay ideas, The Amy Winehouse biopic, AI YouTube videos, Greg has a look at what's happening on X (Twitter), the TV show May to December, impressions of Bradley Walsh introducing the chasers, made up online business profiles, Hot Chocolate songs, John Wayne being racist, the University Challenge final, the quiz show 'Ridiculous', DJ Steve Walsh, a dead celebrity seance, Barry White in Concert on BBC4, J Lo's Movie /Album 'This Is Me Now', the TV shows 'Shogun' and 'Manhunt', Liz Hurley's new movie directed by her son, Future Greg and a whole lot more!
Today on the pod we have the absolute legend that is Bernie Clifton. Fresh from releasing his autobiography 'Crackerjack to Vegas' Bernie chats about his failed attempts to become a plumber which in turn led him to join the RAF and fly to football matches in Cold War bombers. Bernie talks warmly about his comedy cohorts including Bob Monkhouse and Les Dawson, the latter urging him to become a prop comic, something Bernie is grateful for to this day. Learn how Oswald the Ostrich came into being and why Bernie once took him up in a microlight aircraft to appease a reporter from The Daily Mirror. Bernie is clearly touched to be referenced in an Inside No.9 episode and speaks fondly of all involved. He also spills the beans on the televisual debacle that was 'It's a Royal Knockout', along with behind the scenes anecdotes from his life in TV including the seminal kids TV Show 'Crackerjack'.Please Follow us on Social Media (links below):All music written and performed in this podcast by Steve Otis Gunn,Please buy my book 'You Shot My Dog and I Love You' available in all good book shops, online and directly.Podcast Socials:Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tvtimespodInsta: https://www.instagram.com/tvtimespodYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@tvtimespodTwitter: https://twitter.com/tvtimespodSteve's Socials:Insta: https://www.instagram.com/steveotisgunnTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/steveotisgunnFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/steveotisgunn.antisocialBernie's SocialsInsta: https://www.instagram.com/bernie.cliftonTwitter: https://twitter.com/bernieclifton_Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bernie.clifton.7Get Bernie's Book 'Crackerjack to Vegas' here: http://www.bernieclifton.co.uk/Produced by Steve Otis Gunn for Jilted Maggotwww.jiltedmaggot.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jenna elevates the ceremonies by supporting the men in need.By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The ‘Jenna' series started last November with ‘Jenna Goes to Church' episodes; followed by ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. Earlier this month we resumed with a couple 2-part stories from Jenna's series. This is the final 2-part story.A Royal carry-on at the Cathedral.The King’s coronation was only a few weeks away. Lots of different events were planned, and the church of St. Michael’s was no exception.At St. Michael’s vicarage, Reverend Morris was preparing to attend a very important concert at Liverpool cathedral, which was going to be filmed by the team from the popular religious TV programmer, Songs of Praise.Reverend Morris sniggered as he read an online newspaper headline.“17th century diary reveals local vicar had an 11 inch penis.”“I bet he was popular!” He said to his wife.Jenna laughed. “11 inches? Wow, that is impressive. Of course, it’s not the size, it’s what you do with it that counts.”“Oh yes. I agree completely!” He put down his phone. “Right that’s enough of that. We must get ready to leave. Gosh, I’m really looking forward to this concert! It’s a real honor for us to have been invited to attend. His Majesty has been visiting several cathedrals this week."I’m excited too. Will we actually get a chance to speak to the King?”“Perhaps, Jen. Not sure if he’ll come round and speak to all of us, maybe a lucky few on the front row, eh?”“Oh good. Must say, I’m relieved that pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Simon. I’d just got struck down with a stomach bug. I mean, I want to be a mum one day, but not yet. I’m not ready for such a big responsibility just yet, bringing a new life into the world.”“You’re only twenty-one, Jen. You’ve got plenty of time. Enjoy the best years of your life! And I just know you’ll be a wonderful mum one day. I want us to enjoy our child when the time comes. You’re so good with Christopher when he stays over.”She nodded and thought to herself. After all, I feel I still have a lot of God’s work to do, helping the men of the church.She wasn’t the only one who was relieved. Gordon the organist was overjoyed too. Though after a private meeting with the vicar’s wife in church last week, he confessed that he would’ve “pulled out all the stops” to support her, if it turned out he was the father. Thankfully, the status quo had been restored, and much to his delight, he and Jenna had resumed their weekly “organ practice” on Thursday nights.Gordon had been tempted to confess a whole load of other things to her, but had held back, when he got the impression she’d already figured out the strength of his feelings, and that put his mind at ease.Edward Hardwick was nervous. He was standing in for the regular organist at Liverpool, who’d been struck down with a bad case of flu. Edward knew he had big shoes to fill, as the man he was standing in for was a highly respected musician, with countless accolades and credits to his name.“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a regular Sunday service, but why did it have to be a concert where the King will be in attendance? All eyes will be on me. Songs of Praise will be filming. I’m not sure I can cope with this,”Edward was a brilliant young organist, but was prone to periods of self-doubt and nervousness. At twenty-eight, he was still a bit of a greenhorn, compared to the other organists he’d encountered, and had only just landed his first full-time organist job. The small parish church outside Liverpool where he was now the official organist, was a world away from this massive cathedral.Edward was sure a more experienced organist and choirmaster could’ve been found to perform here, but the clergy seemed convinced that he was ideal to take on the job. He took comfort from that. He must be doing something good if they’d put this much faith in him. And playing at the cathedral for a coronation concert would look very good on his resume.Later,"What a beautiful building this is, Jenna marveled as she and Reverend Morris took their seats in the cathedral ready for the concert. Jenna wore a black skirt suit with a white cotton blouse. Simon was in clerical black, wearing a blazer for travel to Liverpool."I’ve been to Liverpool loads of times but never visited the cathedral. I wonder if Father Aiden has been here? He used to be based at Liverpool before he came to our town.”“Yes I think he’s attended a few services here. That reminds me, I must email him sometime and see how he’s getting on at the Living Earth Free Church. Last I heard, he’d got engaged to Róisín.”“Ah, I’m really chuffed for him,” Jenna replied with a smile, remembering her first encounter with the once-miserable priest at the vicarage social last year. She read through the order of service booklet. It was adorned with little golden crowns. The usual collection of familiar patriotic music, Handel’s Messiah, Jerusalem, Rule Britannia, Crown Imperial and of course, the National Anthem.On the first page was some information about the cathedral organ.“Liverpool Cathedral boasts the largest pipe organ in the UK, an instrument of tremendous power and majesty, but also of serenity and calm. Its sole purpose is to aid worship by creating a reverent atmosphere.”“Gordon would be over the moon if he could get his fingers on this impressive instrument! Listen to this, Simon. An ‘Anniversary’ recital is given by the Cathedral Organist each year on the nearest Saturday to 18th, in commemoration of its dedication.The organ is situated in two chambers on opposite sides of the Choir. It currently comprises 10,268 pipes and 200 stops contained in nine divisions. There are two five-manual consoles; the original one up in a dedicated gallery under the North Choir case and a mobile recital console at floor level. The 'Trompette Militaire’ and the 'Tuba Magna’ stops are the loudest voices on the organ.”“Makes the organ in our church look like a penny whistle by comparison,” the vicar replied. “I think even Gordon would be a bit overwhelmed if he had to play this whopper.”“He could play it with ease,” she replied. “Gordon’s the best organist in the world.”The hall was filling up and the warm humid spring day made the cathedral quite warm. Jenna removed her blazer and laid it over the back of the pew.Jenna leaned her head on Simon's shoulder & closed her eyes. Soon she thought back to last night. Organ practice with Gordon had been wild, and those two old tin pipes he’d given her during Lent had been put to good use again.“Lie back on the stool for me,” Gordon whispered. Slowly, he traced the cold organ pipe down her naked body, before pausing and using the tip of it to tease her erect nipples. She giggled.“So cold!”“Delightfully tuned,” he grunted. He moved a finger down and began teasing her clit. Then he pressed a key on one of the manuals.“Can you sing that note for me?”“Lah.”“Excellent! How about these notes?” He played a few chords whilst fingering her.“Ahh, doe, ray, me; oh my God,”Jenna breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out in ecstasy, and writhed beneath him. The orgasm rocked through her body like a tidal wave; it was indescribable."Always so perfectly in key, Jenna. Very good, very, ah.” Jenna’s bare foot started rubbing his groin, and he struggled to remain composed.“Open your organ loft, Gordon. I need to perform an inspection.”As usual, he immediately succumbed to her charms. “At once,” he smiled, unzipping his trousers and freeing his member from his underpants. “I am sure everything is in fine working order, but I might need a little bit of a re-tune.”“I can help you there,” Jenna said, reaching in she gave a quick kiss to the tip of his fat cock, and began to suck the length, then taking it deeper.Gordon cried out in delight, and dropped the organ pipe. It clattered onto the church’s stone floor.“Oh, so good,” Gordon sighed. His words spurred her on, so she varied her technique, flicking her tongue down his shaft’s sensitive underside, then up. She extended her tongue and licked the head of his cock like a lollipop.“Umm, is my sexy organ daddy ready to give me some of his delicious cum?”“Ahh, he’s got plenty for his Jen, oh God here it comes!”Jenna jerked off the organist until he exploded all over her face. She opened her mouth as a huge, pearly wad of his issue landed on the bridge of her nose. A second spurt hit its target, and she quickly swallowed every drop.“Jenna! Have you nodded off? King Charles has arrived!” Reverend Morris whispered, nudging his wife.“Umm, oh no, sorry I was just thinking, oh yes, there he is!”Everyone stood up, as the soon-to-be crowned monarch took his seat and was welcomed by the Bishop of Liverpool. Thus began the usual formal introductions and as everyone sat down, the sound of the mighty organ radiated through the cathedral.“Our concert begins with a rendition of that wonderful rousing piece by Handel, his Messiah, which was composed in 1741. It was first performed in Dublin on the 13th of April, in 1742 and received its London premiere nearly a year later. After an initially modest public reception, the oratorio gained in popularity, eventually becoming one of the best-known and most frequently performed choral works in Western music.”“I love the Messiah,” Reverend Morris whispered. “Remember when it was played at our wedding?”“Sure do.” Jenna's eyes gleamed.The music began, but after a few moments, it was obvious that the organist at the console wasn’t quite up to playing the mighty beast that this great pipe organ was..Reverend Morris cringed as a few wrong notes were played. “Hmm, I don’t think this chap has practiced this enough. Either that or he’s drunk.”“Well the bishop did say that he’s not the regular organist. I think he’s nervous. Poor guy. I’d be nervous if I had to play in front of the King, and I was being filmed for a TV programmer!”“Oh dear,” Reverend Morris said, as the unfortunate rendition continued. “This is sounding more like Handel’s Messed-Up Messiah.”King Charles appeared to be really enjoying the music. “Oh I say. Reminds one of Les Dawson,” he whispered to Camilla. “Splendid entertainer, he was. Dearest Mummy used to love it when he appeared at the Royal Variety Performance in the Eighties. It takes one a great deal of skill to play wrong notes like that!”Camilla simply nodded, but she wasn’t fooled. This wasn’t meant to be a Les Dawson tribute, but it was certainly interesting.“Did I ever mention that I often play organ music to my plants?” the King continued.More error-filled hymns and pieces followed, until the first half of the concert came to an end, and the interval was welcomed by just about everyone, but mostly by the organist.“Fuck, I screwed everything up,” Edward groaned, shuffling off, his face burning with shame.Some of the overflow crowd lined the hallway, off the sanctuary. Edward faced the gauntlet of critics as he passed through. “Hey mate, is this some kind of joke?” A man shouted. “Have you even taken an organ lesson? Because that was bloody awful!”“My three-year old could play better than that!” A woman added.“My Labrador could play better than that!”“Shame on you! You must be a republican. Playing like that in front of His Majesty!”“Look I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” Edward mumbled, rushing away from the crowded hallway. He had to hide somewhere and try and compose himself, or he’d never get through the second half of the concert.Meanwhile, Jenna had been navigating her way back from the toilets, which was proving to be a bit of a nightmare, due to the crowds and the security measures in place due to the monarch’s visit.“I definitely shouldn’t be down here,” she said, hurrying down a small corridor. “Uh-oh, this is the vestry. How did I end up here? I’ve got to get back to my seat!”Hurrying through a curtained area, she walked right into a man clad in red cassock and white surplice, whom she assumed was a vicar.“Oh, so sorry; Reverend!” She mumbled.“No I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” the man replied. “Um, I’m not a vicar. I’m Edward, the organist.”“Oh right,” Jenna said. “Well nice to meet you. Um, I think I’m lost. Please could you,” She looked at him and noticed his eyes were red from crying. "Hey; are you okay?”“I’m fine,” Edward sniffed. “Uh, yes, just through there and turn right. Keep right, because the left side is out of bounds because the King’s sat over there.”“You’ve been crying,” Jenna said.‘What a cute guy!'She thought to herself. He looks just like Robert Pattinson. Though she preferred older men, she figured this younger chap was in need of some comfort and a confidence boost. And she never could resist a man wearing church vestments.“I’ve messed up,” Edward sighed. “Surely you heard how bad I played during the first half.”“I don’t blame you,” Jenna replied. “I would’ve been wetting myself if I’d been asked to play in front of the King. I think you did great.”My God, this guy is an adorable cinnamon roll!“Oh thanks. I was still shit though. Um, are you an organist?”“Not officially. I’m a pianist and I work at my church’s Sunday school. The organist at my church who I like, er, who I’m friends with, he has been giving me lessons. It’s taken a while, but I can just about stand in for him and do the morning Eucharist. But I still play the odd wrong note or pull out the wrong stops. It’s such a complicated instrument! So don’t feel bad.”Edward relaxed. “I wish all the members of the public were as understanding as you are. I’ll probably get a grilling off the Bishop later, as well.”“Ignore the haters. And the Bishop is a man of God, so he should be merciful.”“Heh, maybe. What’s your name?”“Jenna. Pleased to meet you Edward! I expect you’ve heard this before, but you look a bit like Robert Pattinson.”“Yeah. I have. Cedric Diggory playing the organ. You’d think he’d use magic so he could play perfectly and without feeling nervous!”“Can’t use magic in the Muggle world!” Jenna smiled.“Heh, are you a Potter fan?”“Nah, never really got into it. But I have seen some of the movies.”“Same here.”“Are you still feeling nervous?”“Terrified. I have to play the national anthem at the end of the second half. If I play a wrong note during that, well I’m dreading it.”“I’ll stop you from feeling nervous,” Jenna winked.“Oh, how do you plan to do that? Do you have some booze?” He jumped as he realized her arms had slipped round him.“No. I’ll give you something better than booze.” She nibbled at the outside corners of his mouth, teasing him to open for her.“Open for me,” she whispered, as she continued to place soft kisses.Edward, who was too shocked to process what was happening, only registered the pretty redhead’s body pressing him against the wall. Unable to move, he simply stood in her embrace, neither accepting nor returning her kisses.He suddenly blushed even more at the sudden realization that he was becoming erect. This is insane, he thought to himself. The second half is about to start and I’m,“You’re really sexy,” Jenna murmured, sending shivers down his spine. Edward was powerless to resist her. “Do you feel me?” She asked in a husky whisper, pressing herself against him, “Do you feel how much I want you?” His shyness was an incredible turn-on, and making her terribly horny. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.Edward looked into her lovely eyes and bent down to kiss her.At their sweet contact, Jenna heard Edward sigh contentedly. He reached down and grasped her arse. Suddenly, she felt his tongue enter her mouth, and his erection pressing against her.“What would you like, Edward?”“Confidence,” he mumbled back.Jenna pushed him into a small cloakroom. “To give an organist confidence, I need to inspect his organ pipe,” she purred, swiftly reaching under his surplice and fumbling with the buttons on his cassock. “All these buttons, but no worries, I’ll find a way in, ah, there we go!” She unzipped his trousers and reached inside.Edward gasped as her warm hand grabbed his cock. It stiffened further in her grasp.“Oh, what a big pipe you have. It seems like a fine one to play a tune on!” Jenna grinned. These corny organ puns worked so well on Gordon, and it seemed that they worked on Edward too. All male organists liked it if they were complimented on the size of their instrument, surely?Edward couldn’t believe this was happening. The concert was set to resume in ten minutes but here he was, he just closed his eyes as Jenna worked her magic.Another delicious-looking cock. Edward was her third organist, after Gordon and Raymond Wilson from Oakwood Road Methodist church. Third time lucky!Jenna knelt in front him and kissed the top of his enlarged cock. Then she gently kissed all around its head. With long, gentle strokes she licked up and down the length of the shaft as Edward began to moan with pleasure. She took his balls in one hand and began to massage them. His moans increased.Reverend Morris checked his watch, wondering where Jenna had got to. The second half was about to begin.“Did she get lost on her way to the Ladies?” He wondered. Most of the guests had returned to their seats and the Bishop was approaching the podium.“Come on Jen, hurry up, or you’ll miss the start. What on earth is she doing?”Edward immediately entered her and drew a strangled gasp as he plunged his rigid cock to the hilt. He pulled his hips back so that his cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. He’d been single for a while, and it showed. Jenna moaned at the sensation of this eager young organist thrusting in her. She reached her peak only a few seconds before he spurted his cum deep within her, and when they finally parted, Edward felt like he could conquer the world. Never before had he experienced sex as good as this.Jenna gave him a kiss and zipped up his trousers. “I think it’s time I returned to my seat.”“Uh, can I get your email or something? I’m on Twitter, but I don’t tweet much. Are you on there? Hey, I’m the organist at St Paul’s church in Crosby. It has a website. My contact details are on there. What happens now?”She winked at him and gave him a final kiss. “Now, you go and play the organ like a pro. For King and Country.”“Oh. Right. Yes. I will!”Jenna hurried down the corridor, a big smile on her face. The archway to the main hall was blocked by a man in a suit standing in the middle.“Excuse me,” she muttered, tapping his arm, without realizing who he was.“Ah, hello there!” King Charles smiled.Jenna froze.“You must be one of the cathedral’s hard-working staff?” He said.“Er, I, Your Majesty.” Jenna gave an awkward curtsey. Damn, how embarrassing!“It seems we had a disturbance during the interval. Some fellows from Extinction Rebellion burst in and tried to glue themselves to the pulpit. Did you see it?”“Er, er, no I didn’t. I was back there.” Jenna was desperate to get away, but the King was in a talkative mood and took hold of her hand.“All quite amusing! What’s your name, dear?”“Jen, Jenna.”He gestured to a photographer. “See here, this young lady, one of many who is a credit to the cathedral. This is Jenna, yes, yes. Are you getting this? Nice smiles now!”Hope I haven’t got cum on the front of my dress, Jenna thought, as the camera clicked away.King Charles finally released Jenna’s hand. “Splendid to meet you! Plant some trees!”“Thank you. Will do.” When he eventually turned and walked to some other people, she was able to hurry down the side aisle and back to her seat.“Oh Jen!” Reverend Morris gasped, as his wife hurried beside him. “I saw everything! You got to shake the King’s hand! Oh you lucky thing! I’m so pleased for you!”“I, I got a bit lost coming back from the toilets and I,” Jenna stammered, still in shock."Thank God you did! If you hadn’t exited from that particular area, the King wouldn’t have seen you!”“I was so nervous. I bet I looked a right muppet. And there was a photographer there!”“Not just a photographer. The cameraman from Songs of Praise filmed you too!”“Oh no!”“Relax, you looked great as always. You’re a bit sweaty though. Must be the nerves. It’s not like you to be nervous though! You missed all the chaos when the eco-nutters gate-crashed the place.”The Bishop appeared. “Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary persons, we apologies for the earlier disruption, but normal service has been resumed. Now we begin the second half of our concert. May I now ask you to stand as we sing that great hymn of England, Jerusalem!”“Let’s hope they’ve swapped organists,” somebody behind Jenna was heard to say.The first chords of Sir Hubert Parry’s masterpiece began, and to everyone’s surprise and delight, Edward played the hymn to absolute perfection.“Thank goodness I was able to help him,” Jenna smiled.To be continued.By Blacksheep for Literotica.
Jenna elevates the ceremonies by supporting the men in need.By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The ‘Jenna' series started last November with ‘Jenna Goes to Church' episodes; followed by ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. Earlier this month we resumed with a couple 2-part stories from Jenna's series. This is the final 2-part story.A Royal carry-on at the Cathedral.The King’s coronation was only a few weeks away. Lots of different events were planned, and the church of St. Michael’s was no exception.At St. Michael’s vicarage, Reverend Morris was preparing to attend a very important concert at Liverpool cathedral, which was going to be filmed by the team from the popular religious TV programmer, Songs of Praise.Reverend Morris sniggered as he read an online newspaper headline.“17th century diary reveals local vicar had an 11 inch penis.”“I bet he was popular!” He said to his wife.Jenna laughed. “11 inches? Wow, that is impressive. Of course, it’s not the size, it’s what you do with it that counts.”“Oh yes. I agree completely!” He put down his phone. “Right that’s enough of that. We must get ready to leave. Gosh, I’m really looking forward to this concert! It’s a real honor for us to have been invited to attend. His Majesty has been visiting several cathedrals this week."I’m excited too. Will we actually get a chance to speak to the King?”“Perhaps, Jen. Not sure if he’ll come round and speak to all of us, maybe a lucky few on the front row, eh?”“Oh good. Must say, I’m relieved that pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Simon. I’d just got struck down with a stomach bug. I mean, I want to be a mum one day, but not yet. I’m not ready for such a big responsibility just yet, bringing a new life into the world.”“You’re only twenty-one, Jen. You’ve got plenty of time. Enjoy the best years of your life! And I just know you’ll be a wonderful mum one day. I want us to enjoy our child when the time comes. You’re so good with Christopher when he stays over.”She nodded and thought to herself. After all, I feel I still have a lot of God’s work to do, helping the men of the church.She wasn’t the only one who was relieved. Gordon the organist was overjoyed too. Though after a private meeting with the vicar’s wife in church last week, he confessed that he would’ve “pulled out all the stops” to support her, if it turned out he was the father. Thankfully, the status quo had been restored, and much to his delight, he and Jenna had resumed their weekly “organ practice” on Thursday nights.Gordon had been tempted to confess a whole load of other things to her, but had held back, when he got the impression she’d already figured out the strength of his feelings, and that put his mind at ease.Edward Hardwick was nervous. He was standing in for the regular organist at Liverpool, who’d been struck down with a bad case of flu. Edward knew he had big shoes to fill, as the man he was standing in for was a highly respected musician, with countless accolades and credits to his name.“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a regular Sunday service, but why did it have to be a concert where the King will be in attendance? All eyes will be on me. Songs of Praise will be filming. I’m not sure I can cope with this,”Edward was a brilliant young organist, but was prone to periods of self-doubt and nervousness. At twenty-eight, he was still a bit of a greenhorn, compared to the other organists he’d encountered, and had only just landed his first full-time organist job. The small parish church outside Liverpool where he was now the official organist, was a world away from this massive cathedral.Edward was sure a more experienced organist and choirmaster could’ve been found to perform here, but the clergy seemed convinced that he was ideal to take on the job. He took comfort from that. He must be doing something good if they’d put this much faith in him. And playing at the cathedral for a coronation concert would look very good on his resume.Later,"What a beautiful building this is, Jenna marveled as she and Reverend Morris took their seats in the cathedral ready for the concert. Jenna wore a black skirt suit with a white cotton blouse. Simon was in clerical black, wearing a blazer for travel to Liverpool."I’ve been to Liverpool loads of times but never visited the cathedral. I wonder if Father Aiden has been here? He used to be based at Liverpool before he came to our town.”“Yes I think he’s attended a few services here. That reminds me, I must email him sometime and see how he’s getting on at the Living Earth Free Church. Last I heard, he’d got engaged to Róisín.”“Ah, I’m really chuffed for him,” Jenna replied with a smile, remembering her first encounter with the once-miserable priest at the vicarage social last year. She read through the order of service booklet. It was adorned with little golden crowns. The usual collection of familiar patriotic music, Handel’s Messiah, Jerusalem, Rule Britannia, Crown Imperial and of course, the National Anthem.On the first page was some information about the cathedral organ.“Liverpool Cathedral boasts the largest pipe organ in the UK, an instrument of tremendous power and majesty, but also of serenity and calm. Its sole purpose is to aid worship by creating a reverent atmosphere.”“Gordon would be over the moon if he could get his fingers on this impressive instrument! Listen to this, Simon. An ‘Anniversary’ recital is given by the Cathedral Organist each year on the nearest Saturday to 18th, in commemoration of its dedication.The organ is situated in two chambers on opposite sides of the Choir. It currently comprises 10,268 pipes and 200 stops contained in nine divisions. There are two five-manual consoles; the original one up in a dedicated gallery under the North Choir case and a mobile recital console at floor level. The 'Trompette Militaire’ and the 'Tuba Magna’ stops are the loudest voices on the organ.”“Makes the organ in our church look like a penny whistle by comparison,” the vicar replied. “I think even Gordon would be a bit overwhelmed if he had to play this whopper.”“He could play it with ease,” she replied. “Gordon’s the best organist in the world.”The hall was filling up and the warm humid spring day made the cathedral quite warm. Jenna removed her blazer and laid it over the back of the pew.Jenna leaned her head on Simon's shoulder & closed her eyes. Soon she thought back to last night. Organ practice with Gordon had been wild, and those two old tin pipes he’d given her during Lent had been put to good use again.“Lie back on the stool for me,” Gordon whispered. Slowly, he traced the cold organ pipe down her naked body, before pausing and using the tip of it to tease her erect nipples. She giggled.“So cold!”“Delightfully tuned,” he grunted. He moved a finger down and began teasing her clit. Then he pressed a key on one of the manuals.“Can you sing that note for me?”“Lah.”“Excellent! How about these notes?” He played a few chords whilst fingering her.“Ahh, doe, ray, me; oh my God,”Jenna breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out in ecstasy, and writhed beneath him. The orgasm rocked through her body like a tidal wave; it was indescribable."Always so perfectly in key, Jenna. Very good, very, ah.” Jenna’s bare foot started rubbing his groin, and he struggled to remain composed.“Open your organ loft, Gordon. I need to perform an inspection.”As usual, he immediately succumbed to her charms. “At once,” he smiled, unzipping his trousers and freeing his member from his underpants. “I am sure everything is in fine working order, but I might need a little bit of a re-tune.”“I can help you there,” Jenna said, reaching in she gave a quick kiss to the tip of his fat cock, and began to suck the length, then taking it deeper.Gordon cried out in delight, and dropped the organ pipe. It clattered onto the church’s stone floor.“Oh, so good,” Gordon sighed. His words spurred her on, so she varied her technique, flicking her tongue down his shaft’s sensitive underside, then up. She extended her tongue and licked the head of his cock like a lollipop.“Umm, is my sexy organ daddy ready to give me some of his delicious cum?”“Ahh, he’s got plenty for his Jen, oh God here it comes!”Jenna jerked off the organist until he exploded all over her face. She opened her mouth as a huge, pearly wad of his issue landed on the bridge of her nose. A second spurt hit its target, and she quickly swallowed every drop.“Jenna! Have you nodded off? King Charles has arrived!” Reverend Morris whispered, nudging his wife.“Umm, oh no, sorry I was just thinking, oh yes, there he is!”Everyone stood up, as the soon-to-be crowned monarch took his seat and was welcomed by the Bishop of Liverpool. Thus began the usual formal introductions and as everyone sat down, the sound of the mighty organ radiated through the cathedral.“Our concert begins with a rendition of that wonderful rousing piece by Handel, his Messiah, which was composed in 1741. It was first performed in Dublin on the 13th of April, in 1742 and received its London premiere nearly a year later. After an initially modest public reception, the oratorio gained in popularity, eventually becoming one of the best-known and most frequently performed choral works in Western music.”“I love the Messiah,” Reverend Morris whispered. “Remember when it was played at our wedding?”“Sure do.” Jenna's eyes gleamed.The music began, but after a few moments, it was obvious that the organist at the console wasn’t quite up to playing the mighty beast that this great pipe organ was..Reverend Morris cringed as a few wrong notes were played. “Hmm, I don’t think this chap has practiced this enough. Either that or he’s drunk.”“Well the bishop did say that he’s not the regular organist. I think he’s nervous. Poor guy. I’d be nervous if I had to play in front of the King, and I was being filmed for a TV programmer!”“Oh dear,” Reverend Morris said, as the unfortunate rendition continued. “This is sounding more like Handel’s Messed-Up Messiah.”King Charles appeared to be really enjoying the music. “Oh I say. Reminds one of Les Dawson,” he whispered to Camilla. “Splendid entertainer, he was. Dearest Mummy used to love it when he appeared at the Royal Variety Performance in the Eighties. It takes one a great deal of skill to play wrong notes like that!”Camilla simply nodded, but she wasn’t fooled. This wasn’t meant to be a Les Dawson tribute, but it was certainly interesting.“Did I ever mention that I often play organ music to my plants?” the King continued.More error-filled hymns and pieces followed, until the first half of the concert came to an end, and the interval was welcomed by just about everyone, but mostly by the organist.“Fuck, I screwed everything up,” Edward groaned, shuffling off, his face burning with shame.Some of the overflow crowd lined the hallway, off the sanctuary. Edward faced the gauntlet of critics as he passed through. “Hey mate, is this some kind of joke?” A man shouted. “Have you even taken an organ lesson? Because that was bloody awful!”“My three-year old could play better than that!” A woman added.“My Labrador could play better than that!”“Shame on you! You must be a republican. Playing like that in front of His Majesty!”“Look I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” Edward mumbled, rushing away from the crowded hallway. He had to hide somewhere and try and compose himself, or he’d never get through the second half of the concert.Meanwhile, Jenna had been navigating her way back from the toilets, which was proving to be a bit of a nightmare, due to the crowds and the security measures in place due to the monarch’s visit.“I definitely shouldn’t be down here,” she said, hurrying down a small corridor. “Uh-oh, this is the vestry. How did I end up here? I’ve got to get back to my seat!”Hurrying through a curtained area, she walked right into a man clad in red cassock and white surplice, whom she assumed was a vicar.“Oh, so sorry; Reverend!” She mumbled.“No I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” the man replied. “Um, I’m not a vicar. I’m Edward, the organist.”“Oh right,” Jenna said. “Well nice to meet you. Um, I think I’m lost. Please could you,” She looked at him and noticed his eyes were red from crying. "Hey; are you okay?”“I’m fine,” Edward sniffed. “Uh, yes, just through there and turn right. Keep right, because the left side is out of bounds because the King’s sat over there.”“You’ve been crying,” Jenna said.‘What a cute guy!'She thought to herself. He looks just like Robert Pattinson. Though she preferred older men, she figured this younger chap was in need of some comfort and a confidence boost. And she never could resist a man wearing church vestments.“I’ve messed up,” Edward sighed. “Surely you heard how bad I played during the first half.”“I don’t blame you,” Jenna replied. “I would’ve been wetting myself if I’d been asked to play in front of the King. I think you did great.”My God, this guy is an adorable cinnamon roll!“Oh thanks. I was still shit though. Um, are you an organist?”“Not officially. I’m a pianist and I work at my church’s Sunday school. The organist at my church who I like, er, who I’m friends with, he has been giving me lessons. It’s taken a while, but I can just about stand in for him and do the morning Eucharist. But I still play the odd wrong note or pull out the wrong stops. It’s such a complicated instrument! So don’t feel bad.”Edward relaxed. “I wish all the members of the public were as understanding as you are. I’ll probably get a grilling off the Bishop later, as well.”“Ignore the haters. And the Bishop is a man of God, so he should be merciful.”“Heh, maybe. What’s your name?”“Jenna. Pleased to meet you Edward! I expect you’ve heard this before, but you look a bit like Robert Pattinson.”“Yeah. I have. Cedric Diggory playing the organ. You’d think he’d use magic so he could play perfectly and without feeling nervous!”“Can’t use magic in the Muggle world!” Jenna smiled.“Heh, are you a Potter fan?”“Nah, never really got into it. But I have seen some of the movies.”“Same here.”“Are you still feeling nervous?”“Terrified. I have to play the national anthem at the end of the second half. If I play a wrong note during that, well I’m dreading it.”“I’ll stop you from feeling nervous,” Jenna winked.“Oh, how do you plan to do that? Do you have some booze?” He jumped as he realized her arms had slipped round him.“No. I’ll give you something better than booze.” She nibbled at the outside corners of his mouth, teasing him to open for her.“Open for me,” she whispered, as she continued to place soft kisses.Edward, who was too shocked to process what was happening, only registered the pretty redhead’s body pressing him against the wall. Unable to move, he simply stood in her embrace, neither accepting nor returning her kisses.He suddenly blushed even more at the sudden realization that he was becoming erect. This is insane, he thought to himself. The second half is about to start and I’m,“You’re really sexy,” Jenna murmured, sending shivers down his spine. Edward was powerless to resist her. “Do you feel me?” She asked in a husky whisper, pressing herself against him, “Do you feel how much I want you?” His shyness was an incredible turn-on, and making her terribly horny. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.Edward looked into her lovely eyes and bent down to kiss her.At their sweet contact, Jenna heard Edward sigh contentedly. He reached down and grasped her arse. Suddenly, she felt his tongue enter her mouth, and his erection pressing against her.“What would you like, Edward?”“Confidence,” he mumbled back.Jenna pushed him into a small cloakroom. “To give an organist confidence, I need to inspect his organ pipe,” she purred, swiftly reaching under his surplice and fumbling with the buttons on his cassock. “All these buttons, but no worries, I’ll find a way in, ah, there we go!” She unzipped his trousers and reached inside.Edward gasped as her warm hand grabbed his cock. It stiffened further in her grasp.“Oh, what a big pipe you have. It seems like a fine one to play a tune on!” Jenna grinned. These corny organ puns worked so well on Gordon, and it seemed that they worked on Edward too. All male organists liked it if they were complimented on the size of their instrument, surely?Edward couldn’t believe this was happening. The concert was set to resume in ten minutes but here he was, he just closed his eyes as Jenna worked her magic.Another delicious-looking cock. Edward was her third organist, after Gordon and Raymond Wilson from Oakwood Road Methodist church. Third time lucky!Jenna knelt in front him and kissed the top of his enlarged cock. Then she gently kissed all around its head. With long, gentle strokes she licked up and down the length of the shaft as Edward began to moan with pleasure. She took his balls in one hand and began to massage them. His moans increased.Reverend Morris checked his watch, wondering where Jenna had got to. The second half was about to begin.“Did she get lost on her way to the Ladies?” He wondered. Most of the guests had returned to their seats and the Bishop was approaching the podium.“Come on Jen, hurry up, or you’ll miss the start. What on earth is she doing?”Edward immediately entered her and drew a strangled gasp as he plunged his rigid cock to the hilt. He pulled his hips back so that his cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. He’d been single for a while, and it showed. Jenna moaned at the sensation of this eager young organist thrusting in her. She reached her peak only a few seconds before he spurted his cum deep within her, and when they finally parted, Edward felt like he could conquer the world. Never before had he experienced sex as good as this.Jenna gave him a kiss and zipped up his trousers. “I think it’s time I returned to my seat.”“Uh, can I get your email or something? I’m on Twitter, but I don’t tweet much. Are you on there? Hey, I’m the organist at St Paul’s church in Crosby. It has a website. My contact details are on there. What happens now?”She winked at him and gave him a final kiss. “Now, you go and play the organ like a pro. For King and Country.”“Oh. Right. Yes. I will!”Jenna hurried down the corridor, a big smile on her face. The archway to the main hall was blocked by a man in a suit
Jenna elevates the ceremonies by supporting the men in need.By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The ‘Jenna' series started last November with ‘Jenna Goes to Church' episodes; followed by ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. Earlier this month we resumed with a couple 2-part stories from Jenna's series. This is the final 2-part story.A Royal carry-on at the Cathedral.The King’s coronation was only a few weeks away. Lots of different events were planned, and the church of St. Michael’s was no exception.At St. Michael’s vicarage, Reverend Morris was preparing to attend a very important concert at Liverpool cathedral, which was going to be filmed by the team from the popular religious TV programmer, Songs of Praise.Reverend Morris sniggered as he read an online newspaper headline.“17th century diary reveals local vicar had an 11 inch penis.”“I bet he was popular!” He said to his wife.Jenna laughed. “11 inches? Wow, that is impressive. Of course, it’s not the size, it’s what you do with it that counts.”“Oh yes. I agree completely!” He put down his phone. “Right that’s enough of that. We must get ready to leave. Gosh, I’m really looking forward to this concert! It’s a real honor for us to have been invited to attend. His Majesty has been visiting several cathedrals this week."I’m excited too. Will we actually get a chance to speak to the King?”“Perhaps, Jen. Not sure if he’ll come round and speak to all of us, maybe a lucky few on the front row, eh?”“Oh good. Must say, I’m relieved that pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Simon. I’d just got struck down with a stomach bug. I mean, I want to be a mum one day, but not yet. I’m not ready for such a big responsibility just yet, bringing a new life into the world.”“You’re only twenty-one, Jen. You’ve got plenty of time. Enjoy the best years of your life! And I just know you’ll be a wonderful mum one day. I want us to enjoy our child when the time comes. You’re so good with Christopher when he stays over.”She nodded and thought to herself. After all, I feel I still have a lot of God’s work to do, helping the men of the church.She wasn’t the only one who was relieved. Gordon the organist was overjoyed too. Though after a private meeting with the vicar’s wife in church last week, he confessed that he would’ve “pulled out all the stops” to support her, if it turned out he was the father. Thankfully, the status quo had been restored, and much to his delight, he and Jenna had resumed their weekly “organ practice” on Thursday nights.Gordon had been tempted to confess a whole load of other things to her, but had held back, when he got the impression she’d already figured out the strength of his feelings, and that put his mind at ease.Edward Hardwick was nervous. He was standing in for the regular organist at Liverpool, who’d been struck down with a bad case of flu. Edward knew he had big shoes to fill, as the man he was standing in for was a highly respected musician, with countless accolades and credits to his name.“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a regular Sunday service, but why did it have to be a concert where the King will be in attendance? All eyes will be on me. Songs of Praise will be filming. I’m not sure I can cope with this,”Edward was a brilliant young organist, but was prone to periods of self-doubt and nervousness. At twenty-eight, he was still a bit of a greenhorn, compared to the other organists he’d encountered, and had only just landed his first full-time organist job. The small parish church outside Liverpool where he was now the official organist, was a world away from this massive cathedral.Edward was sure a more experienced organist and choirmaster could’ve been found to perform here, but the clergy seemed convinced that he was ideal to take on the job. He took comfort from that. He must be doing something good if they’d put this much faith in him. And playing at the cathedral for a coronation concert would look very good on his resume.Later,"What a beautiful building this is, Jenna marveled as she and Reverend Morris took their seats in the cathedral ready for the concert. Jenna wore a black skirt suit with a white cotton blouse. Simon was in clerical black, wearing a blazer for travel to Liverpool."I’ve been to Liverpool loads of times but never visited the cathedral. I wonder if Father Aiden has been here? He used to be based at Liverpool before he came to our town.”“Yes I think he’s attended a few services here. That reminds me, I must email him sometime and see how he’s getting on at the Living Earth Free Church. Last I heard, he’d got engaged to Róisín.”“Ah, I’m really chuffed for him,” Jenna replied with a smile, remembering her first encounter with the once-miserable priest at the vicarage social last year. She read through the order of service booklet. It was adorned with little golden crowns. The usual collection of familiar patriotic music, Handel’s Messiah, Jerusalem, Rule Britannia, Crown Imperial and of course, the National Anthem.On the first page was some information about the cathedral organ.“Liverpool Cathedral boasts the largest pipe organ in the UK, an instrument of tremendous power and majesty, but also of serenity and calm. Its sole purpose is to aid worship by creating a reverent atmosphere.”“Gordon would be over the moon if he could get his fingers on this impressive instrument! Listen to this, Simon. An ‘Anniversary’ recital is given by the Cathedral Organist each year on the nearest Saturday to 18th, in commemoration of its dedication.The organ is situated in two chambers on opposite sides of the Choir. It currently comprises 10,268 pipes and 200 stops contained in nine divisions. There are two five-manual consoles; the original one up in a dedicated gallery under the North Choir case and a mobile recital console at floor level. The 'Trompette Militaire’ and the 'Tuba Magna’ stops are the loudest voices on the organ.”“Makes the organ in our church look like a penny whistle by comparison,” the vicar replied. “I think even Gordon would be a bit overwhelmed if he had to play this whopper.”“He could play it with ease,” she replied. “Gordon’s the best organist in the world.”The hall was filling up and the warm humid spring day made the cathedral quite warm. Jenna removed her blazer and laid it over the back of the pew.Jenna leaned her head on Simon's shoulder & closed her eyes. Soon she thought back to last night. Organ practice with Gordon had been wild, and those two old tin pipes he’d given her during Lent had been put to good use again.“Lie back on the stool for me,” Gordon whispered. Slowly, he traced the cold organ pipe down her naked body, before pausing and using the tip of it to tease her erect nipples. She giggled.“So cold!”“Delightfully tuned,” he grunted. He moved a finger down and began teasing her clit. Then he pressed a key on one of the manuals.“Can you sing that note for me?”“Lah.”“Excellent! How about these notes?” He played a few chords whilst fingering her.“Ahh, doe, ray, me; oh my God,”Jenna breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out in ecstasy, and writhed beneath him. The orgasm rocked through her body like a tidal wave; it was indescribable."Always so perfectly in key, Jenna. Very good, very, ah.” Jenna’s bare foot started rubbing his groin, and he struggled to remain composed.“Open your organ loft, Gordon. I need to perform an inspection.”As usual, he immediately succumbed to her charms. “At once,” he smiled, unzipping his trousers and freeing his member from his underpants. “I am sure everything is in fine working order, but I might need a little bit of a re-tune.”“I can help you there,” Jenna said, reaching in she gave a quick kiss to the tip of his fat cock, and began to suck the length, then taking it deeper.Gordon cried out in delight, and dropped the organ pipe. It clattered onto the church’s stone floor.“Oh, so good,” Gordon sighed. His words spurred her on, so she varied her technique, flicking her tongue down his shaft’s sensitive underside, then up. She extended her tongue and licked the head of his cock like a lollipop.“Umm, is my sexy organ daddy ready to give me some of his delicious cum?”“Ahh, he’s got plenty for his Jen, oh God here it comes!”Jenna jerked off the organist until he exploded all over her face. She opened her mouth as a huge, pearly wad of his issue landed on the bridge of her nose. A second spurt hit its target, and she quickly swallowed every drop.“Jenna! Have you nodded off? King Charles has arrived!” Reverend Morris whispered, nudging his wife.“Umm, oh no, sorry I was just thinking, oh yes, there he is!”Everyone stood up, as the soon-to-be crowned monarch took his seat and was welcomed by the Bishop of Liverpool. Thus began the usual formal introductions and as everyone sat down, the sound of the mighty organ radiated through the cathedral.“Our concert begins with a rendition of that wonderful rousing piece by Handel, his Messiah, which was composed in 1741. It was first performed in Dublin on the 13th of April, in 1742 and received its London premiere nearly a year later. After an initially modest public reception, the oratorio gained in popularity, eventually becoming one of the best-known and most frequently performed choral works in Western music.”“I love the Messiah,” Reverend Morris whispered. “Remember when it was played at our wedding?”“Sure do.” Jenna's eyes gleamed.The music began, but after a few moments, it was obvious that the organist at the console wasn’t quite up to playing the mighty beast that this great pipe organ was..Reverend Morris cringed as a few wrong notes were played. “Hmm, I don’t think this chap has practiced this enough. Either that or he’s drunk.”“Well the bishop did say that he’s not the regular organist. I think he’s nervous. Poor guy. I’d be nervous if I had to play in front of the King, and I was being filmed for a TV programmer!”“Oh dear,” Reverend Morris said, as the unfortunate rendition continued. “This is sounding more like Handel’s Messed-Up Messiah.”King Charles appeared to be really enjoying the music. “Oh I say. Reminds one of Les Dawson,” he whispered to Camilla. “Splendid entertainer, he was. Dearest Mummy used to love it when he appeared at the Royal Variety Performance in the Eighties. It takes one a great deal of skill to play wrong notes like that!”Camilla simply nodded, but she wasn’t fooled. This wasn’t meant to be a Les Dawson tribute, but it was certainly interesting.“Did I ever mention that I often play organ music to my plants?” the King continued.More error-filled hymns and pieces followed, until the first half of the concert came to an end, and the interval was welcomed by just about everyone, but mostly by the organist.“Fuck, I screwed everything up,” Edward groaned, shuffling off, his face burning with shame.Some of the overflow crowd lined the hallway, off the sanctuary. Edward faced the gauntlet of critics as he passed through. “Hey mate, is this some kind of joke?” A man shouted. “Have you even taken an organ lesson? Because that was bloody awful!”“My three-year old could play better than that!” A woman added.“My Labrador could play better than that!”“Shame on you! You must be a republican. Playing like that in front of His Majesty!”“Look I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” Edward mumbled, rushing away from the crowded hallway. He had to hide somewhere and try and compose himself, or he’d never get through the second half of the concert.Meanwhile, Jenna had been navigating her way back from the toilets, which was proving to be a bit of a nightmare, due to the crowds and the security measures in place due to the monarch’s visit.“I definitely shouldn’t be down here,” she said, hurrying down a small corridor. “Uh-oh, this is the vestry. How did I end up here? I’ve got to get back to my seat!”Hurrying through a curtained area, she walked right into a man clad in red cassock and white surplice, whom she assumed was a vicar.“Oh, so sorry; Reverend!” She mumbled.“No I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” the man replied. “Um, I’m not a vicar. I’m Edward, the organist.”“Oh right,” Jenna said. “Well nice to meet you. Um, I think I’m lost. Please could you,” She looked at him and noticed his eyes were red from crying. "Hey; are you okay?”“I’m fine,” Edward sniffed. “Uh, yes, just through there and turn right. Keep right, because the left side is out of bounds because the King’s sat over there.”“You’ve been crying,” Jenna said.‘What a cute guy!'She thought to herself. He looks just like Robert Pattinson. Though she preferred older men, she figured this younger chap was in need of some comfort and a confidence boost. And she never could resist a man wearing church vestments.“I’ve messed up,” Edward sighed. “Surely you heard how bad I played during the first half.”“I don’t blame you,” Jenna replied. “I would’ve been wetting myself if I’d been asked to play in front of the King. I think you did great.”My God, this guy is an adorable cinnamon roll!“Oh thanks. I was still shit though. Um, are you an organist?”“Not officially. I’m a pianist and I work at my church’s Sunday school. The organist at my church who I like, er, who I’m friends with, he has been giving me lessons. It’s taken a while, but I can just about stand in for him and do the morning Eucharist. But I still play the odd wrong note or pull out the wrong stops. It’s such a complicated instrument! So don’t feel bad.”Edward relaxed. “I wish all the members of the public were as understanding as you are. I’ll probably get a grilling off the Bishop later, as well.”“Ignore the haters. And the Bishop is a man of God, so he should be merciful.”“Heh, maybe. What’s your name?”“Jenna. Pleased to meet you Edward! I expect you’ve heard this before, but you look a bit like Robert Pattinson.”“Yeah. I have. Cedric Diggory playing the organ. You’d think he’d use magic so he could play perfectly and without feeling nervous!”“Can’t use magic in the Muggle world!” Jenna smiled.“Heh, are you a Potter fan?”“Nah, never really got into it. But I have seen some of the movies.”“Same here.”“Are you still feeling nervous?”“Terrified. I have to play the national anthem at the end of the second half. If I play a wrong note during that, well I’m dreading it.”“I’ll stop you from feeling nervous,” Jenna winked.“Oh, how do you plan to do that? Do you have some booze?” He jumped as he realized her arms had slipped round him.“No. I’ll give you something better than booze.” She nibbled at the outside corners of his mouth, teasing him to open for her.“Open for me,” she whispered, as she continued to place soft kisses.Edward, who was too shocked to process what was happening, only registered the pretty redhead’s body pressing him against the wall. Unable to move, he simply stood in her embrace, neither accepting nor returning her kisses.He suddenly blushed even more at the sudden realization that he was becoming erect. This is insane, he thought to himself. The second half is about to start and I’m,“You’re really sexy,” Jenna murmured, sending shivers down his spine. Edward was powerless to resist her. “Do you feel me?” She asked in a husky whisper, pressing herself against him, “Do you feel how much I want you?” His shyness was an incredible turn-on, and making her terribly horny. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.Edward looked into her lovely eyes and bent down to kiss her.At their sweet contact, Jenna heard Edward sigh contentedly. He reached down and grasped her arse. Suddenly, she felt his tongue enter her mouth, and his erection pressing against her.“What would you like, Edward?”“Confidence,” he mumbled back.Jenna pushed him into a small cloakroom. “To give an organist confidence, I need to inspect his organ pipe,” she purred, swiftly reaching under his surplice and fumbling with the buttons on his cassock. “All these buttons, but no worries, I’ll find a way in, ah, there we go!” She unzipped his trousers and reached inside.Edward gasped as her warm hand grabbed his cock. It stiffened further in her grasp.“Oh, what a big pipe you have. It seems like a fine one to play a tune on!” Jenna grinned. These corny organ puns worked so well on Gordon, and it seemed that they worked on Edward too. All male organists liked it if they were complimented on the size of their instrument, surely?Edward couldn’t believe this was happening. The concert was set to resume in ten minutes but here he was, he just closed his eyes as Jenna worked her magic.Another delicious-looking cock. Edward was her third organist, after Gordon and Raymond Wilson from Oakwood Road Methodist church. Third time lucky!Jenna knelt in front him and kissed the top of his enlarged cock. Then she gently kissed all around its head. With long, gentle strokes she licked up and down the length of the shaft as Edward began to moan with pleasure. She took his balls in one hand and began to massage them. His moans increased.Reverend Morris checked his watch, wondering where Jenna had got to. The second half was about to begin.“Did she get lost on her way to the Ladies?” He wondered. Most of the guests had returned to their seats and the Bishop was approaching the podium.“Come on Jen, hurry up, or you’ll miss the start. What on earth is she doing?”Edward immediately entered her and drew a strangled gasp as he plunged his rigid cock to the hilt. He pulled his hips back so that his cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. He’d been single for a while, and it showed. Jenna moaned at the sensation of this eager young organist thrusting in her. She reached her peak only a few seconds before he spurted his cum deep within her, and when they finally parted, Edward felt like he could conquer the world. Never before had he experienced sex as good as this.Jenna gave him a kiss and zipped up his trousers. “I think it’s time I returned to my seat.”“Uh, can I get your email or something? I’m on Twitter, but I don’t tweet much. Are you on there? Hey, I’m the organist at St Paul’s church in Crosby. It has a website. My contact details are on there. What happens now?”She winked at him and gave him a final kiss. “Now, you go and play the organ like a pro. For King and Country.”“Oh. Right. Yes. I will!”Jenna hurried down the corridor, a big smile on her face. The archway to the main hall was blocked by a man in a suit
Jenna elevates the ceremonies by supporting the men in need.By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The ‘Jenna' series started last November with ‘Jenna Goes to Church' episodes; followed by ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. Earlier this month we resumed with a couple 2-part stories from Jenna's series. This is the final 2-part story.A Royal carry-on at the Cathedral.The King’s coronation was only a few weeks away. Lots of different events were planned, and the church of St. Michael’s was no exception.At St. Michael’s vicarage, Reverend Morris was preparing to attend a very important concert at Liverpool cathedral, which was going to be filmed by the team from the popular religious TV programmer, Songs of Praise.Reverend Morris sniggered as he read an online newspaper headline.“17th century diary reveals local vicar had an 11 inch penis.”“I bet he was popular!” He said to his wife.Jenna laughed. “11 inches? Wow, that is impressive. Of course, it’s not the size, it’s what you do with it that counts.”“Oh yes. I agree completely!” He put down his phone. “Right that’s enough of that. We must get ready to leave. Gosh, I’m really looking forward to this concert! It’s a real honor for us to have been invited to attend. His Majesty has been visiting several cathedrals this week."I’m excited too. Will we actually get a chance to speak to the King?”“Perhaps, Jen. Not sure if he’ll come round and speak to all of us, maybe a lucky few on the front row, eh?”“Oh good. Must say, I’m relieved that pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Simon. I’d just got struck down with a stomach bug. I mean, I want to be a mum one day, but not yet. I’m not ready for such a big responsibility just yet, bringing a new life into the world.”“You’re only twenty-one, Jen. You’ve got plenty of time. Enjoy the best years of your life! And I just know you’ll be a wonderful mum one day. I want us to enjoy our child when the time comes. You’re so good with Christopher when he stays over.”She nodded and thought to herself. After all, I feel I still have a lot of God’s work to do, helping the men of the church.She wasn’t the only one who was relieved. Gordon the organist was overjoyed too. Though after a private meeting with the vicar’s wife in church last week, he confessed that he would’ve “pulled out all the stops” to support her, if it turned out he was the father. Thankfully, the status quo had been restored, and much to his delight, he and Jenna had resumed their weekly “organ practice” on Thursday nights.Gordon had been tempted to confess a whole load of other things to her, but had held back, when he got the impression she’d already figured out the strength of his feelings, and that put his mind at ease.Edward Hardwick was nervous. He was standing in for the regular organist at Liverpool, who’d been struck down with a bad case of flu. Edward knew he had big shoes to fill, as the man he was standing in for was a highly respected musician, with countless accolades and credits to his name.“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a regular Sunday service, but why did it have to be a concert where the King will be in attendance? All eyes will be on me. Songs of Praise will be filming. I’m not sure I can cope with this,”Edward was a brilliant young organist, but was prone to periods of self-doubt and nervousness. At twenty-eight, he was still a bit of a greenhorn, compared to the other organists he’d encountered, and had only just landed his first full-time organist job. The small parish church outside Liverpool where he was now the official organist, was a world away from this massive cathedral.Edward was sure a more experienced organist and choirmaster could’ve been found to perform here, but the clergy seemed convinced that he was ideal to take on the job. He took comfort from that. He must be doing something good if they’d put this much faith in him. And playing at the cathedral for a coronation concert would look very good on his resume.Later,"What a beautiful building this is, Jenna marveled as she and Reverend Morris took their seats in the cathedral ready for the concert. Jenna wore a black skirt suit with a white cotton blouse. Simon was in clerical black, wearing a blazer for travel to Liverpool."I’ve been to Liverpool loads of times but never visited the cathedral. I wonder if Father Aiden has been here? He used to be based at Liverpool before he came to our town.”“Yes I think he’s attended a few services here. That reminds me, I must email him sometime and see how he’s getting on at the Living Earth Free Church. Last I heard, he’d got engaged to Róisín.”“Ah, I’m really chuffed for him,” Jenna replied with a smile, remembering her first encounter with the once-miserable priest at the vicarage social last year. She read through the order of service booklet. It was adorned with little golden crowns. The usual collection of familiar patriotic music, Handel’s Messiah, Jerusalem, Rule Britannia, Crown Imperial and of course, the National Anthem.On the first page was some information about the cathedral organ.“Liverpool Cathedral boasts the largest pipe organ in the UK, an instrument of tremendous power and majesty, but also of serenity and calm. Its sole purpose is to aid worship by creating a reverent atmosphere.”“Gordon would be over the moon if he could get his fingers on this impressive instrument! Listen to this, Simon. An ‘Anniversary’ recital is given by the Cathedral Organist each year on the nearest Saturday to 18th, in commemoration of its dedication.The organ is situated in two chambers on opposite sides of the Choir. It currently comprises 10,268 pipes and 200 stops contained in nine divisions. There are two five-manual consoles; the original one up in a dedicated gallery under the North Choir case and a mobile recital console at floor level. The 'Trompette Militaire’ and the 'Tuba Magna’ stops are the loudest voices on the organ.”“Makes the organ in our church look like a penny whistle by comparison,” the vicar replied. “I think even Gordon would be a bit overwhelmed if he had to play this whopper.”“He could play it with ease,” she replied. “Gordon’s the best organist in the world.”The hall was filling up and the warm humid spring day made the cathedral quite warm. Jenna removed her blazer and laid it over the back of the pew.Jenna leaned her head on Simon's shoulder & closed her eyes. Soon she thought back to last night. Organ practice with Gordon had been wild, and those two old tin pipes he’d given her during Lent had been put to good use again.“Lie back on the stool for me,” Gordon whispered. Slowly, he traced the cold organ pipe down her naked body, before pausing and using the tip of it to tease her erect nipples. She giggled.“So cold!”“Delightfully tuned,” he grunted. He moved a finger down and began teasing her clit. Then he pressed a key on one of the manuals.“Can you sing that note for me?”“Lah.”“Excellent! How about these notes?” He played a few chords whilst fingering her.“Ahh, doe, ray, me; oh my God,”Jenna breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out in ecstasy, and writhed beneath him. The orgasm rocked through her body like a tidal wave; it was indescribable."Always so perfectly in key, Jenna. Very good, very, ah.” Jenna’s bare foot started rubbing his groin, and he struggled to remain composed.“Open your organ loft, Gordon. I need to perform an inspection.”As usual, he immediately succumbed to her charms. “At once,” he smiled, unzipping his trousers and freeing his member from his underpants. “I am sure everything is in fine working order, but I might need a little bit of a re-tune.”“I can help you there,” Jenna said, reaching in she gave a quick kiss to the tip of his fat cock, and began to suck the length, then taking it deeper.Gordon cried out in delight, and dropped the organ pipe. It clattered onto the church’s stone floor.“Oh, so good,” Gordon sighed. His words spurred her on, so she varied her technique, flicking her tongue down his shaft’s sensitive underside, then up. She extended her tongue and licked the head of his cock like a lollipop.“Umm, is my sexy organ daddy ready to give me some of his delicious cum?”“Ahh, he’s got plenty for his Jen, oh God here it comes!”Jenna jerked off the organist until he exploded all over her face. She opened her mouth as a huge, pearly wad of his issue landed on the bridge of her nose. A second spurt hit its target, and she quickly swallowed every drop.“Jenna! Have you nodded off? King Charles has arrived!” Reverend Morris whispered, nudging his wife.“Umm, oh no, sorry I was just thinking, oh yes, there he is!”Everyone stood up, as the soon-to-be crowned monarch took his seat and was welcomed by the Bishop of Liverpool. Thus began the usual formal introductions and as everyone sat down, the sound of the mighty organ radiated through the cathedral.“Our concert begins with a rendition of that wonderful rousing piece by Handel, his Messiah, which was composed in 1741. It was first performed in Dublin on the 13th of April, in 1742 and received its London premiere nearly a year later. After an initially modest public reception, the oratorio gained in popularity, eventually becoming one of the best-known and most frequently performed choral works in Western music.”“I love the Messiah,” Reverend Morris whispered. “Remember when it was played at our wedding?”“Sure do.” Jenna's eyes gleamed.The music began, but after a few moments, it was obvious that the organist at the console wasn’t quite up to playing the mighty beast that this great pipe organ was..Reverend Morris cringed as a few wrong notes were played. “Hmm, I don’t think this chap has practiced this enough. Either that or he’s drunk.”“Well the bishop did say that he’s not the regular organist. I think he’s nervous. Poor guy. I’d be nervous if I had to play in front of the King, and I was being filmed for a TV programmer!”“Oh dear,” Reverend Morris said, as the unfortunate rendition continued. “This is sounding more like Handel’s Messed-Up Messiah.”King Charles appeared to be really enjoying the music. “Oh I say. Reminds one of Les Dawson,” he whispered to Camilla. “Splendid entertainer, he was. Dearest Mummy used to love it when he appeared at the Royal Variety Performance in the Eighties. It takes one a great deal of skill to play wrong notes like that!”Camilla simply nodded, but she wasn’t fooled. This wasn’t meant to be a Les Dawson tribute, but it was certainly interesting.“Did I ever mention that I often play organ music to my plants?” the King continued.More error-filled hymns and pieces followed, until the first half of the concert came to an end, and the interval was welcomed by just about everyone, but mostly by the organist.“Fuck, I screwed everything up,” Edward groaned, shuffling off, his face burning with shame.Some of the overflow crowd lined the hallway, off the sanctuary. Edward faced the gauntlet of critics as he passed through. “Hey mate, is this some kind of joke?” A man shouted. “Have you even taken an organ lesson? Because that was bloody awful!”“My three-year old could play better than that!” A woman added.“My Labrador could play better than that!”“Shame on you! You must be a republican. Playing like that in front of His Majesty!”“Look I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” Edward mumbled, rushing away from the crowded hallway. He had to hide somewhere and try and compose himself, or he’d never get through the second half of the concert.Meanwhile, Jenna had been navigating her way back from the toilets, which was proving to be a bit of a nightmare, due to the crowds and the security measures in place due to the monarch’s visit.“I definitely shouldn’t be down here,” she said, hurrying down a small corridor. “Uh-oh, this is the vestry. How did I end up here? I’ve got to get back to my seat!”Hurrying through a curtained area, she walked right into a man clad in red cassock and white surplice, whom she assumed was a vicar.“Oh, so sorry; Reverend!” She mumbled.“No I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” the man replied. “Um, I’m not a vicar. I’m Edward, the organist.”“Oh right,” Jenna said. “Well nice to meet you. Um, I think I’m lost. Please could you,” She looked at him and noticed his eyes were red from crying. "Hey; are you okay?”“I’m fine,” Edward sniffed. “Uh, yes, just through there and turn right. Keep right, because the left side is out of bounds because the King’s sat over there.”“You’ve been crying,” Jenna said.‘What a cute guy!'She thought to herself. He looks just like Robert Pattinson. Though she preferred older men, she figured this younger chap was in need of some comfort and a confidence boost. And she never could resist a man wearing church vestments.“I’ve messed up,” Edward sighed. “Surely you heard how bad I played during the first half.”“I don’t blame you,” Jenna replied. “I would’ve been wetting myself if I’d been asked to play in front of the King. I think you did great.”My God, this guy is an adorable cinnamon roll!“Oh thanks. I was still shit though. Um, are you an organist?”“Not officially. I’m a pianist and I work at my church’s Sunday school. The organist at my church who I like, er, who I’m friends with, he has been giving me lessons. It’s taken a while, but I can just about stand in for him and do the morning Eucharist. But I still play the odd wrong note or pull out the wrong stops. It’s such a complicated instrument! So don’t feel bad.”Edward relaxed. “I wish all the members of the public were as understanding as you are. I’ll probably get a grilling off the Bishop later, as well.”“Ignore the haters. And the Bishop is a man of God, so he should be merciful.”“Heh, maybe. What’s your name?”“Jenna. Pleased to meet you Edward! I expect you’ve heard this before, but you look a bit like Robert Pattinson.”“Yeah. I have. Cedric Diggory playing the organ. You’d think he’d use magic so he could play perfectly and without feeling nervous!”“Can’t use magic in the Muggle world!” Jenna smiled.“Heh, are you a Potter fan?”“Nah, never really got into it. But I have seen some of the movies.”“Same here.”“Are you still feeling nervous?”“Terrified. I have to play the national anthem at the end of the second half. If I play a wrong note during that, well I’m dreading it.”“I’ll stop you from feeling nervous,” Jenna winked.“Oh, how do you plan to do that? Do you have some booze?” He jumped as he realized her arms had slipped round him.“No. I’ll give you something better than booze.” She nibbled at the outside corners of his mouth, teasing him to open for her.“Open for me,” she whispered, as she continued to place soft kisses.Edward, who was too shocked to process what was happening, only registered the pretty redhead’s body pressing him against the wall. Unable to move, he simply stood in her embrace, neither accepting nor returning her kisses.He suddenly blushed even more at the sudden realization that he was becoming erect. This is insane, he thought to himself. The second half is about to start and I’m,“You’re really sexy,” Jenna murmured, sending shivers down his spine. Edward was powerless to resist her. “Do you feel me?” She asked in a husky whisper, pressing herself against him, “Do you feel how much I want you?” His shyness was an incredible turn-on, and making her terribly horny. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.Edward looked into her lovely eyes and bent down to kiss her.At their sweet contact, Jenna heard Edward sigh contentedly. He reached down and grasped her arse. Suddenly, she felt his tongue enter her mouth, and his erection pressing against her.“What would you like, Edward?”“Confidence,” he mumbled back.Jenna pushed him into a small cloakroom. “To give an organist confidence, I need to inspect his organ pipe,” she purred, swiftly reaching under his surplice and fumbling with the buttons on his cassock. “All these buttons, but no worries, I’ll find a way in, ah, there we go!” She unzipped his trousers and reached inside.Edward gasped as her warm hand grabbed his cock. It stiffened further in her grasp.“Oh, what a big pipe you have. It seems like a fine one to play a tune on!” Jenna grinned. These corny organ puns worked so well on Gordon, and it seemed that they worked on Edward too. All male organists liked it if they were complimented on the size of their instrument, surely?Edward couldn’t believe this was happening. The concert was set to resume in ten minutes but here he was, he just closed his eyes as Jenna worked her magic.Another delicious-looking cock. Edward was her third organist, after Gordon and Raymond Wilson from Oakwood Road Methodist church. Third time lucky!Jenna knelt in front him and kissed the top of his enlarged cock. Then she gently kissed all around its head. With long, gentle strokes she licked up and down the length of the shaft as Edward began to moan with pleasure. She took his balls in one hand and began to massage them. His moans increased.Reverend Morris checked his watch, wondering where Jenna had got to. The second half was about to begin.“Did she get lost on her way to the Ladies?” He wondered. Most of the guests had returned to their seats and the Bishop was approaching the podium.“Come on Jen, hurry up, or you’ll miss the start. What on earth is she doing?”Edward immediately entered her and drew a strangled gasp as he plunged his rigid cock to the hilt. He pulled his hips back so that his cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. He’d been single for a while, and it showed. Jenna moaned at the sensation of this eager young organist thrusting in her. She reached her peak only a few seconds before he spurted his cum deep within her, and when they finally parted, Edward felt like he could conquer the world. Never before had he experienced sex as good as this.Jenna gave him a kiss and zipped up his trousers. “I think it’s time I returned to my seat.”“Uh, can I get your email or something? I’m on Twitter, but I don’t tweet much. Are you on there? Hey, I’m the organist at St Paul’s church in Crosby. It has a website. My contact details are on there. What happens now?”She winked at him and gave him a final kiss. “Now, you go and play the organ like a pro. For King and Country.”“Oh. Right. Yes. I will!”Jenna hurried down the corridor, a big smile on her face. The archway to the main hall was blocked by a man in a suit
Jenna elevates the ceremonies by supporting the men in need.By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The ‘Jenna' series started last November with ‘Jenna Goes to Church' episodes; followed by ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. Earlier this month we resumed with a couple 2-part stories from Jenna's series. This is the final 2-part story.A Royal carry-on at the Cathedral.The King’s coronation was only a few weeks away. Lots of different events were planned, and the church of St. Michael’s was no exception.At St. Michael’s vicarage, Reverend Morris was preparing to attend a very important concert at Liverpool cathedral, which was going to be filmed by the team from the popular religious TV programmer, Songs of Praise.Reverend Morris sniggered as he read an online newspaper headline.“17th century diary reveals local vicar had an 11 inch penis.”“I bet he was popular!” He said to his wife.Jenna laughed. “11 inches? Wow, that is impressive. Of course, it’s not the size, it’s what you do with it that counts.”“Oh yes. I agree completely!” He put down his phone. “Right that’s enough of that. We must get ready to leave. Gosh, I’m really looking forward to this concert! It’s a real honor for us to have been invited to attend. His Majesty has been visiting several cathedrals this week."I’m excited too. Will we actually get a chance to speak to the King?”“Perhaps, Jen. Not sure if he’ll come round and speak to all of us, maybe a lucky few on the front row, eh?”“Oh good. Must say, I’m relieved that pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Simon. I’d just got struck down with a stomach bug. I mean, I want to be a mum one day, but not yet. I’m not ready for such a big responsibility just yet, bringing a new life into the world.”“You’re only twenty-one, Jen. You’ve got plenty of time. Enjoy the best years of your life! And I just know you’ll be a wonderful mum one day. I want us to enjoy our child when the time comes. You’re so good with Christopher when he stays over.”She nodded and thought to herself. After all, I feel I still have a lot of God’s work to do, helping the men of the church.She wasn’t the only one who was relieved. Gordon the organist was overjoyed too. Though after a private meeting with the vicar’s wife in church last week, he confessed that he would’ve “pulled out all the stops” to support her, if it turned out he was the father. Thankfully, the status quo had been restored, and much to his delight, he and Jenna had resumed their weekly “organ practice” on Thursday nights.Gordon had been tempted to confess a whole load of other things to her, but had held back, when he got the impression she’d already figured out the strength of his feelings, and that put his mind at ease.Edward Hardwick was nervous. He was standing in for the regular organist at Liverpool, who’d been struck down with a bad case of flu. Edward knew he had big shoes to fill, as the man he was standing in for was a highly respected musician, with countless accolades and credits to his name.“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a regular Sunday service, but why did it have to be a concert where the King will be in attendance? All eyes will be on me. Songs of Praise will be filming. I’m not sure I can cope with this,”Edward was a brilliant young organist, but was prone to periods of self-doubt and nervousness. At twenty-eight, he was still a bit of a greenhorn, compared to the other organists he’d encountered, and had only just landed his first full-time organist job. The small parish church outside Liverpool where he was now the official organist, was a world away from this massive cathedral.Edward was sure a more experienced organist and choirmaster could’ve been found to perform here, but the clergy seemed convinced that he was ideal to take on the job. He took comfort from that. He must be doing something good if they’d put this much faith in him. And playing at the cathedral for a coronation concert would look very good on his resume.Later,"What a beautiful building this is, Jenna marveled as she and Reverend Morris took their seats in the cathedral ready for the concert. Jenna wore a black skirt suit with a white cotton blouse. Simon was in clerical black, wearing a blazer for travel to Liverpool."I’ve been to Liverpool loads of times but never visited the cathedral. I wonder if Father Aiden has been here? He used to be based at Liverpool before he came to our town.”“Yes I think he’s attended a few services here. That reminds me, I must email him sometime and see how he’s getting on at the Living Earth Free Church. Last I heard, he’d got engaged to Róisín.”“Ah, I’m really chuffed for him,” Jenna replied with a smile, remembering her first encounter with the once-miserable priest at the vicarage social last year. She read through the order of service booklet. It was adorned with little golden crowns. The usual collection of familiar patriotic music, Handel’s Messiah, Jerusalem, Rule Britannia, Crown Imperial and of course, the National Anthem.On the first page was some information about the cathedral organ.“Liverpool Cathedral boasts the largest pipe organ in the UK, an instrument of tremendous power and majesty, but also of serenity and calm. Its sole purpose is to aid worship by creating a reverent atmosphere.”“Gordon would be over the moon if he could get his fingers on this impressive instrument! Listen to this, Simon. An ‘Anniversary’ recital is given by the Cathedral Organist each year on the nearest Saturday to 18th, in commemoration of its dedication.The organ is situated in two chambers on opposite sides of the Choir. It currently comprises 10,268 pipes and 200 stops contained in nine divisions. There are two five-manual consoles; the original one up in a dedicated gallery under the North Choir case and a mobile recital console at floor level. The 'Trompette Militaire’ and the 'Tuba Magna’ stops are the loudest voices on the organ.”“Makes the organ in our church look like a penny whistle by comparison,” the vicar replied. “I think even Gordon would be a bit overwhelmed if he had to play this whopper.”“He could play it with ease,” she replied. “Gordon’s the best organist in the world.”The hall was filling up and the warm humid spring day made the cathedral quite warm. Jenna removed her blazer and laid it over the back of the pew.Jenna leaned her head on Simon's shoulder & closed her eyes. Soon she thought back to last night. Organ practice with Gordon had been wild, and those two old tin pipes he’d given her during Lent had been put to good use again.“Lie back on the stool for me,” Gordon whispered. Slowly, he traced the cold organ pipe down her naked body, before pausing and using the tip of it to tease her erect nipples. She giggled.“So cold!”“Delightfully tuned,” he grunted. He moved a finger down and began teasing her clit. Then he pressed a key on one of the manuals.“Can you sing that note for me?”“Lah.”“Excellent! How about these notes?” He played a few chords whilst fingering her.“Ahh, doe, ray, me; oh my God,”Jenna breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out in ecstasy, and writhed beneath him. The orgasm rocked through her body like a tidal wave; it was indescribable."Always so perfectly in key, Jenna. Very good, very, ah.” Jenna’s bare foot started rubbing his groin, and he struggled to remain composed.“Open your organ loft, Gordon. I need to perform an inspection.”As usual, he immediately succumbed to her charms. “At once,” he smiled, unzipping his trousers and freeing his member from his underpants. “I am sure everything is in fine working order, but I might need a little bit of a re-tune.”“I can help you there,” Jenna said, reaching in she gave a quick kiss to the tip of his fat cock, and began to suck the length, then taking it deeper.Gordon cried out in delight, and dropped the organ pipe. It clattered onto the church’s stone floor.“Oh, so good,” Gordon sighed. His words spurred her on, so she varied her technique, flicking her tongue down his shaft’s sensitive underside, then up. She extended her tongue and licked the head of his cock like a lollipop.“Umm, is my sexy organ daddy ready to give me some of his delicious cum?”“Ahh, he’s got plenty for his Jen, oh God here it comes!”Jenna jerked off the organist until he exploded all over her face. She opened her mouth as a huge, pearly wad of his issue landed on the bridge of her nose. A second spurt hit its target, and she quickly swallowed every drop.“Jenna! Have you nodded off? King Charles has arrived!” Reverend Morris whispered, nudging his wife.“Umm, oh no, sorry I was just thinking, oh yes, there he is!”Everyone stood up, as the soon-to-be crowned monarch took his seat and was welcomed by the Bishop of Liverpool. Thus began the usual formal introductions and as everyone sat down, the sound of the mighty organ radiated through the cathedral.“Our concert begins with a rendition of that wonderful rousing piece by Handel, his Messiah, which was composed in 1741. It was first performed in Dublin on the 13th of April, in 1742 and received its London premiere nearly a year later. After an initially modest public reception, the oratorio gained in popularity, eventually becoming one of the best-known and most frequently performed choral works in Western music.”“I love the Messiah,” Reverend Morris whispered. “Remember when it was played at our wedding?”“Sure do.” Jenna's eyes gleamed.The music began, but after a few moments, it was obvious that the organist at the console wasn’t quite up to playing the mighty beast that this great pipe organ was..Reverend Morris cringed as a few wrong notes were played. “Hmm, I don’t think this chap has practiced this enough. Either that or he’s drunk.”“Well the bishop did say that he’s not the regular organist. I think he’s nervous. Poor guy. I’d be nervous if I had to play in front of the King, and I was being filmed for a TV programmer!”“Oh dear,” Reverend Morris said, as the unfortunate rendition continued. “This is sounding more like Handel’s Messed-Up Messiah.”King Charles appeared to be really enjoying the music. “Oh I say. Reminds one of Les Dawson,” he whispered to Camilla. “Splendid entertainer, he was. Dearest Mummy used to love it when he appeared at the Royal Variety Performance in the Eighties. It takes one a great deal of skill to play wrong notes like that!”Camilla simply nodded, but she wasn’t fooled. This wasn’t meant to be a Les Dawson tribute, but it was certainly interesting.“Did I ever mention that I often play organ music to my plants?” the King continued.More error-filled hymns and pieces followed, until the first half of the concert came to an end, and the interval was welcomed by just about everyone, but mostly by the organist.“Fuck, I screwed everything up,” Edward groaned, shuffling off, his face burning with shame.Some of the overflow crowd lined the hallway, off the sanctuary. Edward faced the gauntlet of critics as he passed through. “Hey mate, is this some kind of joke?” A man shouted. “Have you even taken an organ lesson? Because that was bloody awful!”“My three-year old could play better than that!” A woman added.“My Labrador could play better than that!”“Shame on you! You must be a republican. Playing like that in front of His Majesty!”“Look I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” Edward mumbled, rushing away from the crowded hallway. He had to hide somewhere and try and compose himself, or he’d never get through the second half of the concert.Meanwhile, Jenna had been navigating her way back from the toilets, which was proving to be a bit of a nightmare, due to the crowds and the security measures in place due to the monarch’s visit.“I definitely shouldn’t be down here,” she said, hurrying down a small corridor. “Uh-oh, this is the vestry. How did I end up here? I’ve got to get back to my seat!”Hurrying through a curtained area, she walked right into a man clad in red cassock and white surplice, whom she assumed was a vicar.“Oh, so sorry; Reverend!” She mumbled.“No I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” the man replied. “Um, I’m not a vicar. I’m Edward, the organist.”“Oh right,” Jenna said. “Well nice to meet you. Um, I think I’m lost. Please could you,” She looked at him and noticed his eyes were red from crying. "Hey; are you okay?”“I’m fine,” Edward sniffed. “Uh, yes, just through there and turn right. Keep right, because the left side is out of bounds because the King’s sat over there.”“You’ve been crying,” Jenna said.‘What a cute guy!'She thought to herself. He looks just like Robert Pattinson. Though she preferred older men, she figured this younger chap was in need of some comfort and a confidence boost. And she never could resist a man wearing church vestments.“I’ve messed up,” Edward sighed. “Surely you heard how bad I played during the first half.”“I don’t blame you,” Jenna replied. “I would’ve been wetting myself if I’d been asked to play in front of the King. I think you did great.”My God, this guy is an adorable cinnamon roll!“Oh thanks. I was still shit though. Um, are you an organist?”“Not officially. I’m a pianist and I work at my church’s Sunday school. The organist at my church who I like, er, who I’m friends with, he has been giving me lessons. It’s taken a while, but I can just about stand in for him and do the morning Eucharist. But I still play the odd wrong note or pull out the wrong stops. It’s such a complicated instrument! So don’t feel bad.”Edward relaxed. “I wish all the members of the public were as understanding as you are. I’ll probably get a grilling off the Bishop later, as well.”“Ignore the haters. And the Bishop is a man of God, so he should be merciful.”“Heh, maybe. What’s your name?”“Jenna. Pleased to meet you Edward! I expect you’ve heard this before, but you look a bit like Robert Pattinson.”“Yeah. I have. Cedric Diggory playing the organ. You’d think he’d use magic so he could play perfectly and without feeling nervous!”“Can’t use magic in the Muggle world!” Jenna smiled.“Heh, are you a Potter fan?”“Nah, never really got into it. But I have seen some of the movies.”“Same here.”“Are you still feeling nervous?”“Terrified. I have to play the national anthem at the end of the second half. If I play a wrong note during that, well I’m dreading it.”“I’ll stop you from feeling nervous,” Jenna winked.“Oh, how do you plan to do that? Do you have some booze?” He jumped as he realized her arms had slipped round him.“No. I’ll give you something better than booze.” She nibbled at the outside corners of his mouth, teasing him to open for her.“Open for me,” she whispered, as she continued to place soft kisses.Edward, who was too shocked to process what was happening, only registered the pretty redhead’s body pressing him against the wall. Unable to move, he simply stood in her embrace, neither accepting nor returning her kisses.He suddenly blushed even more at the sudden realization that he was becoming erect. This is insane, he thought to himself. The second half is about to start and I’m,“You’re really sexy,” Jenna murmured, sending shivers down his spine. Edward was powerless to resist her. “Do you feel me?” She asked in a husky whisper, pressing herself against him, “Do you feel how much I want you?” His shyness was an incredible turn-on, and making her terribly horny. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.Edward looked into her lovely eyes and bent down to kiss her.At their sweet contact, Jenna heard Edward sigh contentedly. He reached down and grasped her arse. Suddenly, she felt his tongue enter her mouth, and his erection pressing against her.“What would you like, Edward?”“Confidence,” he mumbled back.Jenna pushed him into a small cloakroom. “To give an organist confidence, I need to inspect his organ pipe,” she purred, swiftly reaching under his surplice and fumbling with the buttons on his cassock. “All these buttons, but no worries, I’ll find a way in, ah, there we go!” She unzipped his trousers and reached inside.Edward gasped as her warm hand grabbed his cock. It stiffened further in her grasp.“Oh, what a big pipe you have. It seems like a fine one to play a tune on!” Jenna grinned. These corny organ puns worked so well on Gordon, and it seemed that they worked on Edward too. All male organists liked it if they were complimented on the size of their instrument, surely?Edward couldn’t believe this was happening. The concert was set to resume in ten minutes but here he was, he just closed his eyes as Jenna worked her magic.Another delicious-looking cock. Edward was her third organist, after Gordon and Raymond Wilson from Oakwood Road Methodist church. Third time lucky!Jenna knelt in front him and kissed the top of his enlarged cock. Then she gently kissed all around its head. With long, gentle strokes she licked up and down the length of the shaft as Edward began to moan with pleasure. She took his balls in one hand and began to massage them. His moans increased.Reverend Morris checked his watch, wondering where Jenna had got to. The second half was about to begin.“Did she get lost on her way to the Ladies?” He wondered. Most of the guests had returned to their seats and the Bishop was approaching the podium.“Come on Jen, hurry up, or you’ll miss the start. What on earth is she doing?”Edward immediately entered her and drew a strangled gasp as he plunged his rigid cock to the hilt. He pulled his hips back so that his cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. He’d been single for a while, and it showed. Jenna moaned at the sensation of this eager young organist thrusting in her. She reached her peak only a few seconds before he spurted his cum deep within her, and when they finally parted, Edward felt like he could conquer the world. Never before had he experienced sex as good as this.Jenna gave him a kiss and zipped up his trousers. “I think it’s time I returned to my seat.”“Uh, can I get your email or something? I’m on Twitter, but I don’t tweet much. Are you on there? Hey, I’m the organist at St Paul’s church in Crosby. It has a website. My contact details are on there. What happens now?”She winked at him and gave him a final kiss. “Now, you go and play the organ like a pro. For King and Country.”“Oh. Right. Yes. I will!”Jenna hurried down the corridor, a big smile on her face. The archway to the main hall was blocked by a man in a suit
Royston Mayoh was - and by reputation remains - one of the biggest names in British TV production. A writer and prolific director, Royston was involved with a plethora of top shows - This is Your Life, Opportunity Knocks, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Kenny Everett to name but a few. He started his career at ABC Television in Manchester and later worked or was associated with the legendary ITV Networks like Granada, Thames, Yorkshire and Tyne Tees.His new book 'Revelations of a TV Director' has just been published and this interview with Ashley at Royston's home in South Manchester is the perfect teaser.In Part Two, Royston tells Ashley about working with Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Barry Cryer, Billy Connolly, Hughie Green and Kenny Everett.Royston's book is available via Scratching Shed Publishing based in LeedsPresented and produced by Ashley Byrne. Research by Andrew EdwardsContinuity: Andy Hoyle and Jonathan Kydd.A Made in Manchester Production.Distinct Nostalgia costs money and time to make and we'd welcome your support through Patreon. You can donate via the link below. Support the show
Royston Mayoh was - and by reputation remains - one of the biggest names in British TV production. A writer and prolific director, Royston was involved with a plethora of top shows - This is Your Life, Opportunity Knocks, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Kenny Everett to name but a few. He started his career at ABC Television in Manchester and later worked or was associated with the legendary ITV Networks like Granada, Thames, Yorkshire and Tyne Tees. His new book 'Revelations of a TV Director' has just been published and this interview with Ashley at Royston's home in South Manchester is the perfect teaser.In Part One, Royston tells Ashley about how he got started followed by candid tales of directing This is Your Life. Part Two covering Kenny Everett, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, The Tube and much more will be out soon.Royston's book is available via Scratching Shed Publishing based in Leeds Presented and produced by Ashley Byrne. Research by Andrew EdwardsContinuity: Andy Hoyle and Jonathan Kydd.A Made in Manchester Production.Distinct Nostalgia costs money and time to make and we'd welcome your support through Patreon. You can donate via the link below. Support the show
Looks Unfamiliar is a podcast in which writer and occasional broadcaster Tim Worthington talks to a guest about some of the things that they remember that nobody else ever seems to.Joining Tim this time is broadcaster Georgy Jamieson, who's hoping that nobody's been putting it about that she's barmy for remembering Indoor League, Maureen Lipman's Re-Joyce!, the The Animals In The Box sketch, the Paul Squire Fan Club, Pippa Dolls, Pig In The Middle and the glory days of Good Winter Telly. Along the way we'll be finding out how to spice up your love life with a He's Pasquale - I'm Walsh tattoo, bidding for the Panzer Commander Pippa on eBay, debating how many episodes of My Awful Wedded Wife and My Giddy Aunt were actually transmitted, cueing up the perfect first dance record for Action Man's bigamous wedding and looking back on that time when Boy George won topical satire.You can find more editions of Looks Unfamiliar at http://timworthington.org/.If you enjoy Looks Unfamiliar, you can help to support the show by buying us a coffee here. None of your namby-pamby lah di dah foreign coffees for Fred Trueman, mind.
Jenna enjoys sexuality without shame, in the church.By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Jenna seduces the Vicar.St Michael’s parish church was a charming place of worship that dated back to the 12th century. A quaint little church, the sort that one could see in countless towns and villages across England. Within its walls however, all was not well. Ill-feeling festered among some of the male members of the church, the vicar included. But God, in his great mercy and wisdom, saw fit to send a beautiful angel to this church, in order to bring happiness.And so, our story begins,Reverend Simon Morris was a vicar who hadn’t gotten laid in a long time. Aged forty, he’d been at St Michael’s for nearly three years now. He prided himself on the success he’d had in increasing the congregation of this little church. The previous vicar, Reverend Smith, had died very suddenly from a stroke back in 2019, leaving the community devastated. Reverend Morris knew he had big boots to fill. So far, God had been with him all the way. He’d steered the church through the Covid pandemic and defied orders to close it during the lockdowns. This action had earned him a lot of respect, not to mention he’d gained a few more loyal sheep who’d deserted other churches.There was just one area where God had been unable to help him - his sexless marriage. He’d been married to Lucy for nearly ten years now and they had a four year old son, Christopher. Unfortunately, it was shortly after Christopher’s birth that the avenue of carnal pleasure was closed off to him. He’d tried everything to re-ignite the spark, but nothing worked. Now Christopher had started primary school, Reverend Morris had hoped that things would improve, but instead, he and Lucy drifted further apart. He kept up the appearance that everything was perfect, during the many social functions he had to hold at the vicarage. Inside however, his frustration threatened to overwhelm him.“O Lord God, who hast called thy servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown: Give us faith to go out with a good courage, not knowing whither we go, but only that thy hand is leading us, and thy love supporting us; to the glory of thy Name.Amen.”Reverend Morris said a quick prayer to himself as he shook hands with the last of the members of the congregation. He let out a sigh of relief. Another Sunday service had passed - with an increase in numbers. He looked at his watch. He had a brief few minutes to head to the vestry, change out of his cassock and surplice, and pop over to the church hall for tea and biscuits. The usual chit chat with his faithful flock.The nosey old ladies, Josh, the new and nervous curate, Yulia the Ukrainian refugee and her two young children, Amir and Majid, the Iranian brothers who’d fled persecution in their homeland due to being Christians, Debbie the single mother and Sunday school teacher, Tony the reformed drug addict, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the church’s resident do-gooders; a pair of boomers who made it their business to know more about the C of E than the Archbishop of Canterbury,Then there was Jenna Fox. Twenty, red haired and absolutely stunning. And too young for him.He’d spotted her in the congregation earlier, but not on the way out. Which could only mean,“Good morning Reverend!” Jenna said, bold as brass, sauntering out of the toilets, where she’d obviously been waiting for the others to depart.“Oh, good morning Jenna,” Reverend Morris replied, staring at her and then quickly averting his eyes downwards. She was wearing attire that was barely suitable for church - a low cut black top and black pleated miniskirt.“I wore black today. For the Queen. Loved your sermon reflecting on her long reign. It was really touching.”“Thanks. Glad you liked it. It’s been hard to write. So, are you heading over to the church hall? I’ll be there shortly.”“Mmm, maybe later,” she grinned. “Did you know Reverend, that you actually resemble Prince Edward a bit?”Feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she was, he felt color rise in his cheeks. “Uh, well thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment! Do excuse me Jenna, I just have to ditch these vestments, then I shall be going to the hall.”He hurried off to the vestry. In there, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was an average-looking bloke, not the sort that a stunning younger woman would lust after.“Well at least I’m much younger than Prince Edward.” He smiled. Suddenly, the door opened.“You’re not getting away from me this time Reverend,” Jenna whispered, shutting the door behind her.Before he could say anything, she’d cornered him. Glancing into his pale blue eyes for a moment, she covered his lips with hers, feeling him tense up as her arms reached round his back. After a few seconds, he relaxed, as if he knew resistance of any kind was futile. Jenna could feel the heat of his body through his cassock.“I’ve wanted you for a long time Reverend,” she murmured. “Ever since you taught me that Introduction to Christianity course six months ago.”“J-Jenna, this isn’t appropriate. I, I am a married man!”“Not a very happy one, I suspect. I can always tell.” A shuddering sigh escaped him as her lips brushed his again. Jenna broke the kiss. “Is there any space in here to conduct unholy activities, Reverend?”Powerless to resist this angel of sin, the smitten vicar grabbed her slim hips and motioned her to straddle his lap. “Jenna,” he mumbled, rubbing one thumb over the outline of her hardened bra-less nipple through her thin top. “It’s, er, been a long time since I was in a situation like this.”“Your wife,”"Lucy and I have been leading separate, and sexless lives for years.”“I’m sorry to hear that. So let me bring you some salvation.”He leaned in to kiss the exposed skin of Jenna’s neck; his lips leaving a hot trail from just below her ear to the center of her throat at the neck of her black top. Then he took the lower hem of the top and pushed it up to bare her belly, and then her pert C-cup breasts. Leaning her back, he took one nipple with his lips and she gasped. He was not only willing, but rampant; as Jenna had suspected, it had been a long time since this man had got laid.Even with the cassock and surplice on, there was no disguising the Reverend’s raging erection. Jenna explored eagerly, desperately, reaching under the cassock, feeling his hard erection through his trousers.Lord Jesus, Jenna was trembling so much with excitement. She’d had a clergy fetish for years and fantasized about seducing the vicar for such a long time. Reverend Morris returned his attention to her breasts and she was so wet she could almost feel herself dripping into her panties.Without further ado, she unfastened his belt before reaching for his zipper. Reverend Morris attempted to remove his surplice.“No, no, leave that on,” Jenna said.“As you wish.” He mumbled holding up his cassock, almost unable to comprehend what was about to happen.Jenna knelt in front of the vicar, pulled down the zipper of his trousers, and exposed white boxer shorts - adorned with little Christian crosses.“Oh wow. Where did you get those, Reverend?” Jenna grinned.He blushed. “Um, a church event I attended in London. The gift shop was quite varied,”"Umm.” Jenna pulled down his trousers and boxers, freeing his heated cock.“Ah. The staff of life.”She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip.“Oh dear God,” Reverend Morris groaned.As she groped his shaft, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was.“Ooh, Reverend you certainly have sinned,” Jenna smiled. “Nice and wet - just how I like it.” She teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. She began to suck him off furiously, her head bobbing up and down faster and faster, her tongue licking the sensitive underside of his shaft.“Oh, I am blessed!” He gasped.Jenna licked every inch of his love pole, running her tongue cross every vein, igniting every nerve ending. The vicar cried out in joy. Then she withdrew and looked up at him.In her throatiest, most sexy tone, she said, “Well Reverend, are you just going to stand there, or come and tame your lost sheep?”Like a bolt of lightning, Reverend Morris kissed Jenna’s lips as if they were the sweet fruit of Eden, and lifted her up. He pulled her drenched lacy panties off. It had been too damn long since he’d had pleasure so willingly offered to him like this. He parted her legs quickly, and, with no further warning, plunged his holy rod deep into her waiting cunt. He began to establish a fast-paced rhythm which soon had them both moaning in pleasure.“Ah hah!” Jenna gasped. “Oh, Reverend. Yes! Right there. Deeper. Deeper! God that feels amazing! Oh! Ah! Oh, Yes!”Jenna was in a state of complete euphoria. She had dreamt about what it would feel like to be fucked by a vicar, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think it would be this incredible. He was a skillful lover, hitting the sensitive nerves within her tunnel, bringing her ever closer to that heavenly pinnacle.Reverend Morris began to quicken his thrusts and rammed his hard staff deeper into her yearning vagina. He felt his climax coming; it was an uncontrollable wave of ecstasy. Faster and faster he thrust, the sound of colliding skin echoing throughout the vestry. Jenna kept on riding the vicar until he blasted his cum into her like a fire hose.“Ah! Praise the Lord!”Jenna looked at Reverend Morris, and for the first time in years, he looked truly satisfied.“For what I hath received, I am truly thankful,” he panted.“Me too,” Jenna replied, her insides filled with his thick cum.In the afterglow of their sinful fun, they kissed each other softly, caressing one another lovingly. Reverend Morris couldn’t stop smiling. So that was what he’d been missing out on. Dear God! He doubted that Lucy could ever match Jenna’s standards, even if she suddenly turned into a raving nympho.“I suppose, we should head over to the church hall,” Jenna said, idly fingering his clerical collar. “More tea Vicar?”Jenna Plays the Organist's OrganGordon Leesmith was not having a good day. Another Sunday, another morning Eucharist at St. Michael’s, where he dutifully played the organ and directed the choir. It had all gone as planned, until the end of the service when that damned busybody John Norris had felt the need to vent his spleen.“You played the wrong opening hymn, Gordon,” John exclaimed, as the congregation departed. “Great is Thy Faithfulness was selected, not Love Divine.”“That’s not what the vicar told me,” Gordon muttered, not looking at him. He loathed this odious pedant.“Anyways I just thought I’d let you know. Patricia and I were a little confused.”“No change there then,” Gordon replied, unable to restrain himself. “Do you think maybe just for once you and wife might refrain from poking your noses into every bloody thing?”John was so taken aback, he couldn’t speak for a moment. “Well really! There’s no need for language, Gordon. I was merely saying,”"Don’t come the innocent with me, you’re the biggest shit-stirrer in this church. I’ve seen the gossip you spread on Facebook. And I’ll play whatever bloody hymn I like, thank you very much.”“I wouldn’t argue in a church.”“I’ll argue anywhere as long as I’m in the right. Now bugger off!”Thus suitably chastised, the subdued John left, and Gordon was left to sort through his music sheets in peace. He adjusted his black robe and continued grumbling to himself. He wasn’t always as grumpy and short-tempered as this. Years ago he’d been a jolly, fun-loving chap who enjoyed joking with other members of the church.That was before his divorce.Gordon was fifty-five, and had been organist and choirmaster at St Michael’s for almost twenty years. Ten years ago, his wife Marjorie had run off with a man young enough to be her son. She was fifty and her lover was a twenty-five year old personal trainer. They’d met online. Gordon’s world had been knocked for six. He never imagined Marjorie would cheat on him. They’d always been so happy, with a very active sex life.Jenna had been quietly observing the little outburst with much interest. After expressing an interest in joining the choir, Reverend Morris had warned her that the organist had the “shortest of short fuses.” When she’d pressed him further, the vicar had revealed the details of Gordon’s marital problems and sworn her to secrecy.Jenna licked her lips. She was aching for a romp with Reverend Morris right now, but he’d been asked to conduct a service at another local church this morning, and a female vicar had stood in for him. What was a horny lass to do?“Poor, miserable Gordon.” Jenna mused. “I doubt he gets much action. He needs cheering up.” Looking at him, she thought him quite good looking for an older man. He had a full head of silvery hair and unlike Reverend Morris, was of a stocky build. On the occasions she’d seen him minus his long black robe, he possessed quite a paunch. Jenna idly toyed with a strand of her hair, considering her next move. Gordon was giving off daddy kink vibes.“I wonder if the organist will let me play with his organ?”Gordon was busy rifling through hymn books and didn’t notice Jenna saunter over at first. She cleared her throat and he glanced round.“Uh. Can I help you with something?”“Oh hello,” Jenna replied, acting rather coy. “I, hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time, Mr,”"Gordon. Bad time? There’s never a good time,” he muttered, giving the usual gruff response. “Nothing personal.”“Well I just wanted to thank you, Gordon. You played my favorite hymn, Love Divine. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed it.”His attention captured, Gordon finally put down the books he was fiddling with and sat on the organ stool, facing her. “You did?”“I love anything by Charles Wesley. His hymns are amazing.”“Indeed they are. He wrote thousands during his lifetime.”Gordon certainly was hard to read. Jenna wondered if she was having any effect on him at all. His dour expression didn’t give anything away. It looked like this chap was going to be quite a challenge.“Every week I come to church and I hear you play these lovely old hymns on this fine organ.” Jenna continued. “I love hearing you play.”“I’ve had enough practice. I’ve been doing this for many years now.”Evidently, Gordon wasn’t used to receiving any kind of compliments whatsoever.Jenna walked closer. “You’re so talented.”“Ah, well. That’s, nice of you to say. What’s your name?”Her persistence seemed to be paying off, and the organist appeared to be getting a little flustered at her flattery.“Jenna.”“Do you play any musical instruments, Jenna?” Gordon replied.“Just the piano.”He nodded. “Good, good. For work or just a hobby?”“Oh purely as a hobby,” she smiled, flicking her red hair. “I was wondering, please could you play a bit of Charles Wesley for me?”Gordon’s stern face finally relaxed into a smile. “Why certainly. What would you like to hear?”“Oh how about And Can It Be?”He shuffled around on the stool. “Very well. I often practice a bit after the morning service, when the others have left. I’m not one for idle chatter in the church hall.”“Me neither,” Jenna said, walking up to beside him, so close that her cleavage was at his eye level. Gordon couldn’t help but give a side glance, and then quickly looked ahead.“Right, are you ready?”The strains of the great Wesleyan hymn filled the church as Gordon’s fingers graced the mighty organ. Jenna hummed along, and then an idea came into her head. Suddenly, Gordon stopped playing.“I don’t hear any singing, Jenna. How about you sing whilst I play?”“Ok!” She grinned, and he resumed playing.“And can it be, that I should gain - An int'rest in the Savior's blood?”Jenna deftly unfastened the first button on her white top.“Died He for me, who caused His pain,For me, who Him to death pursued?”Gordon happened to glance to his right again, and almost played a wrong note. Jenna continued singing.“Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”She unfastened another button. Gordon continued playing, and as the chorus approached, the third and final button of her top was swiftly unfastened.“Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”Gordon’s eyes almost popped out of his head and he cleared his throat.“Go on, play a second verse!” Jenna said.He continued to play, but could feel his face burning. Jenna was singing her heart out, and seemed to be blissfully unaware that she’d suffered a wardrobe malfunction, she wasn’t wearing a bra! Bloody hell, what a beautiful pair of tits, Gordon was uncomfortably hot all at once. He was no stranger to internet porn - after his divorce, porn was the only thing he could turn to in order to get a bit of relief, not that it really relieved him all that much, in fact it didn’t turn him on at all anymore, he’d become impotent. Suddenly, with the young and beautiful Jenna inches away from him and, somewhat exposed, his dormant cock had surged back into life and was now straining against his underpants and trousers,“Just one more verse, Gordon! I’ll give it my all.”He continued playing and she resumed singing, her pale, pert breasts jiggling, inches from his face.“Oh dear God,” Gordon thought to himself. What a situation to find oneself in. “Should I say something to her?”“My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!”Jenna pretended to lose her balance. “Whoops!” She said, toppling over and putting her hand on Gordon’s thigh. He jolted and played a note that was so off-key, Les Dawson would’ve been impressed.“Oh Gordon that was such fun! I love that hymn so much!”An embarrassed Gordon quickly rose to his feet. “Um, I’m glad. Er, would you excuse me a minute, Jenna? I need to visit the gents.”Jenna struggled to hold back a giggle as he hurried off to the toilets. “He must be rock hard by now,” she smirked. “Probably having a wank. I’ll give him a few minutes, then I’m going in there after him.”Gordon had to relieve himself more frequently these days, due to that most troublesome of male organs - the prostate. Today however, it wasn’t an enlarged prostate stopping him from peeing, but a raging boner. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d got as hard as this. Unfastening his belt and trousers, he slipped a hand inside his underpants and pulled out his cock. He stroked himself and wondered what to do. That Jenna - was she actually flirting with him?That was ridiculous, she was young enough to be his daughter. What woman in her right mind would want to flirt with a fat old git like him?Still, how could she not have noticed her tits were hanging out like that? It seemed so deliberate. That stunning, red-haired vixen! He couldn’t hide in the toilets forever. She might come in looking to see if he was alright. He zipped up his trousers, adjusted his robe and went back into the church,Jenna was sitting on the organ stool, legs crossed, but top wide open.“There you are, Gordon. I was beginning to think you’d flushed yourself down the loo. You’re not trying to avoid me are you?”Gordon blushed crimson. “W-what are you playing at? Someone might come in at any moment?”Jenna shrugged. “So what?” Whoever is sat at the organ can’t be seen from the door. You have to walk right down the side aisle and come right up close. Nobody can see us. And you played the hymn so good. I just want to show my appreciation.“He blinked, mesmerized. "Was I really that good?”Jenna walked over to the organist. “Better than that,” she said. She looked up at Gordon with dreamy, lust filled eyes. He was about to say something, but Jenna shut him off, grabbing his neck and pulling his head down to her level. She kissed him hard on the lips. Gordon didn’t resist or try to pull away. Spurred on by this, Jenna wrapped his arms round Gordon’s sides and pressed her body against his. The organist struggled to stay upright for a second, but regained his balance. He lowered his head and feasted on her hardened nipples, until Jenna pushed him down onto the stool, his back to the organ.“What’s that passage in the Bible, something about the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak?” Jenna teased, running her hand across his robe-covered thighs.“Uh, I just play the hymns,” Gordon sighed, as her hand brushed his crotch. “You’re leading me into temptation, that’s all I can say. Look what you’ve done to me!”“I haven’t started yet,” Jenna smiled, lifting up his black robe, revealing black trousers. His crotch bulge was enormous. “I’m going to have fun playing THIS organ,” Jenna said. She felt bolder and more in control than she had ever before, more than when she’d seduced Reverend Morris last week. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his underwear. Gordon was wearing white y-front underpants, and his cock was straining against the fabric; a large wet spot had appeared. Jenna caressed the bulge, then carefully pulled down his damp y-fronts, revealing his painfully engorged cock. It was average in length but girthy. She began kissing his shaft, which twitched and leaked precum.Gordon gripped the sides of the stool so tight, his fingernails turned white.“Oh God,”"Gordon could you stand up for a sec? Your undies are in the way.”Immediately, he did as she asked, and she pulled his underpants and trousers down to his ankles. Half an hour ago, such actions would’ve been unthinkable, he could barely think at all right now. All his anger and frustration and pent-up desire were released at once, when he felt Jenna’s hands slip round his shaft.“That’s better.” Jenna said. “What a magnificent organ you have!”Sweat ran down Gordon’s brow as the temptress licked the head of his cock. The taste of precum was like nectar to her tongue. He was groaning louder now, as Jenna reached his most sensitive areas. She deep throated and sucked him hard and he yelled in pleasure. His balls were so full, he feared they’d explode.“Oh Jenna, harder, more! Yes!” Gordon groaned, putting his hand on her head. She gripped his bare thighs and buried her face deeper between his legs, sucking him. His wiry grey pubes were tickling her nose. Gordon cried out in joy.Jenna withdrew, only to run her tongue around the underside of his cock.“Oh fuck, I’m coming!” Gordon yelled. He lay back, forgetting the organ was behind him, and his elbows pressed against the lower keyboard. A horrific cacophony of wrong notes filled the church, but neither he or Jenna cared.Gordon reached his peak quickly and it was impossible to stop himself. He repeated Jenna’s name, over and over again, as she licked his throbbing member. He let go, feeling that intense wave of pleasure spread up from his balls and across his whole body. A huge stream of cum spurted down Jenna’s throat. She swallowed the seed greedily. Cum tasted so good, and Gordon’s was especially thick, tangy and delicious. A second spurt landed right between her breasts, while a third and final load sprayed right across her face, leaving her coated in the gooey, sticky essence.“Mmm, Gordon, that was the best!” She slowly licked around his cockhead, as some final drops of cum dripped out.“What on earth is Gordon doing?” Mrs. Norris wondered as she hurried to the church. The din from the organ was so bad, it could be heard in the church hall. She pulled a face and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses. “What a dreadful noise!” Marching down the aisle, she shouted Gordon’s name, but there was no way he could hear due to the deafening din of the organ.Gordon sat up on the stool and the awful noise ceased.“What a delightful mess you’ve made!” Jenna giggled, as his cum trickled down her face and breasts.“I, I’ll get you some tissues,” he gasped, still in a blissful stupor.“I really enjoyed playing your organ. Can I play it again sometime?”Gordon’s heart jumped in his chest. There was going to be a next time? “Of course you can!”“Gordon, what are you doing? Ah, Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?”"Oh shit,” Gordon exclaimed as he noticed Mrs. Norris standing there. The look on her face was priceless.“What’s your problem?” Jenna replied. “Have you never seen a woman playing an organ before?”Passion at the vicarage.After another boring day in her dead-end office job, Jenna was glad to be on her way home. Friday at last, thank God. And speaking of God, her smartphone had just vibrated. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled it out and smiled as she read the message.Hi Archangel JenGod’s servant on Earth wondered if you’d like to spend some time with him tonight? Can’t wait until Sunday. He has of you the great need and is all alone in the vicarage. L is away visiting sis until Monday. She’s taken C along too.xxxR.M“Oh yes!” She said out loud. The vicarage would be more comfortable than another fuck in the vestry. Quickly, she composed a reply.Praise the Lord!Just got to go home and change into something holier, or not! will be there in half an hour. xxxJenna got into her car. A fun night of “worship” beckoned.St Michael’s vicarage was set back from the main road by the church, down a long driveway flanked by beech trees. The trees were already on the turn, ready to show off their autumn color.“Nice,” Jenna mused as she admired the attractive garden. “This place is huge.” It was way grander than the two bed semi where she’d grown up, and was still living at, with her parents. The cost of living crisis had meant that fleeing the nest had been put on hold. She knocked on the door. She hadn’t been waiting for long, when Reverend Morris opened it, No cassock and surplice on tonight, just his “everyday vicar garb” as she termed it - black shirt, clerical collar and black trousers.“Hello Jenna.” he said, his voice a little shaky with nervous excitement. He took a deep breath. She looked absolutely stunning, in a figure-hugging black dress. “Wow, um, come in. You look lovely.”Jenna flashed him a winning smile. “Why thank you, Reverend! Great place you have here. Your garden’s really nice.”“Ah, yes it is. Not my efforts, I’m afraid. I have many volunteers who keep it looking good. After all, it’s only my house for as long as I’m vicar at St Michaels.” He tried not to keep staring, but it was hard not to. “Have, you eaten?”“Not really. Didn’t have time. I grabbed a few biscuits on the way out.”“Oh good! I was so hoping you’d say that. I thought I could cook us something. I really enjoy cooking.”Jenna hadn’t been expecting this. “Oh that’s so nice of you.” It was best to ravish the reverend on a full stomach.“What sort of stuff do you like? You’re not veggie or vegan are you?”“Nope. I love my meat. I pretty much eat anything.”Reverend Morris smiled. “Same here! Okay, how does fillet steak, chips, side salad and a glass of red wine sound?”“Heavenly!”“By the way, I was at the midweek hymn practice, and Gordon the organist seems to have undergone a personality transplant! I’ve never seen him so happy. Was he like that when you spoke to him about the choir last Sunday?”Jenna bit her lip. “Hmm, he was a little moody at first, but after I paid him a compliment, he sort of brightened up.”“Blimey, whatever did you say to him? He’s like a different bloke. He’s bitten my head off a few times in the past.”“Well,” Jenna said innocently, “I thanked him for playing one of my favorite hymns, and said how much I admired his organ, er, his organ playing. I’m a big fan of Charles Wesley.”“He did write some great hymns.”“Umm, yes. Over 6000 hymns. And he somehow found the time to father eight children. How did he find the time?” Jenna added with a mischievous grin.Reverend Morris chuckled. “Perhaps writing hymns made him very horny!”They both laughed at this.The vicar rose from his chair. “I’d say that steak is just about ready,” he said, hurrying into the kitchen. At that moment, Jenna felt her phone vibrate. Quickly, she slipped it out of her bag. Another message. Who was it this time?I have a message from Charles Wesley. He wonders if u would to see his hard, bulging hymn book. Hope 2 c u at church this Sunday.G [heart emoji]“Oh Gordon,” Jenna giggled to herself, and switched the phone off. “It’s hard work being such a good Christian and helping those in need.”The meal was delicious, and to add to the mood, Reverend Morris had some relaxing Gregorian chant music playing in the background. Jenna had never been wined and dined like this before, and after they’d finished, felt it only right to thank the vicar for his kindness.In an instant, Jenna’s lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. His hands were in her hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. If it was a dream, Reverend Morris never wanted it to end. This woman had awakened something in him that he couldn’t quite describe. At this point, as Jenna took his hand and led him upstairs, he realized his marriage to Lucy was well and truly stone dead.The reverend’s hands were at Jenna’s side, unzipping then lifting the silky material of her dress slowly, over her navel, over her chest, over her head, off. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of her breasts, round and perfect, the stuff of many a dream but beautiful beyond any imagining. His hands cupped them gently. His mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took her nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. His hands roamed down over her arse, lavishing her smooth curves.Jenna was amazed at Reverend Morris’ confident handling of her body. His sensual, hallowed hands moved over her, sending her heart racing, and she wasted no time in freeing him from his clothing.As Reverend Morris moved to lay over her, he could sense her need. It was almost as palpable as his own desire, and he was eager to satisfy them both. Jenna’s hands guided his pulsating member, and at last he thrust boldly into her waiting cunt. The reverend gasped in spite of himself as his rod slid into this tight, warm pleasure hole. She held him so tightly and the sensations that coursed through his loins were beyond what he’d experienced back in the vestry a fortnight ago.Jenna’s eyes rolled back as Reverend Morris’ cock filled her with perfect execution. She bucked her hips up in time with his forceful thrusts, her hands gripped tightly around his shoulders. His grunts of pleasure were deep and resonant, arousing her even further. His hot shaft bore into her over and over again, gaining intensity with every thrust. Jenna began seeing flashes of light behind her eyes, and she knew that their moment was near.Moments later, they climaxed together; Jenna’s cunt was filled to the brim with another load of holy spunk.“God in Heaven! I think we have sinned, a lot!”To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.
Jenna enjoys sexuality without shame, in the church.By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Jenna seduces the Vicar.St Michael’s parish church was a charming place of worship that dated back to the 12th century. A quaint little church, the sort that one could see in countless towns and villages across England. Within its walls however, all was not well. Ill-feeling festered among some of the male members of the church, the vicar included. But God, in his great mercy and wisdom, saw fit to send a beautiful angel to this church, in order to bring happiness.And so, our story begins,Reverend Simon Morris was a vicar who hadn’t gotten laid in a long time. Aged forty, he’d been at St Michael’s for nearly three years now. He prided himself on the success he’d had in increasing the congregation of this little church. The previous vicar, Reverend Smith, had died very suddenly from a stroke back in 2019, leaving the community devastated. Reverend Morris knew he had big boots to fill. So far, God had been with him all the way. He’d steered the church through the Covid pandemic and defied orders to close it during the lockdowns. This action had earned him a lot of respect, not to mention he’d gained a few more loyal sheep who’d deserted other churches.There was just one area where God had been unable to help him - his sexless marriage. He’d been married to Lucy for nearly ten years now and they had a four year old son, Christopher. Unfortunately, it was shortly after Christopher’s birth that the avenue of carnal pleasure was closed off to him. He’d tried everything to re-ignite the spark, but nothing worked. Now Christopher had started primary school, Reverend Morris had hoped that things would improve, but instead, he and Lucy drifted further apart. He kept up the appearance that everything was perfect, during the many social functions he had to hold at the vicarage. Inside however, his frustration threatened to overwhelm him.“O Lord God, who hast called thy servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown: Give us faith to go out with a good courage, not knowing whither we go, but only that thy hand is leading us, and thy love supporting us; to the glory of thy Name.Amen.”Reverend Morris said a quick prayer to himself as he shook hands with the last of the members of the congregation. He let out a sigh of relief. Another Sunday service had passed - with an increase in numbers. He looked at his watch. He had a brief few minutes to head to the vestry, change out of his cassock and surplice, and pop over to the church hall for tea and biscuits. The usual chit chat with his faithful flock.The nosey old ladies, Josh, the new and nervous curate, Yulia the Ukrainian refugee and her two young children, Amir and Majid, the Iranian brothers who’d fled persecution in their homeland due to being Christians, Debbie the single mother and Sunday school teacher, Tony the reformed drug addict, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the church’s resident do-gooders; a pair of boomers who made it their business to know more about the C of E than the Archbishop of Canterbury,Then there was Jenna Fox. Twenty, red haired and absolutely stunning. And too young for him.He’d spotted her in the congregation earlier, but not on the way out. Which could only mean,“Good morning Reverend!” Jenna said, bold as brass, sauntering out of the toilets, where she’d obviously been waiting for the others to depart.“Oh, good morning Jenna,” Reverend Morris replied, staring at her and then quickly averting his eyes downwards. She was wearing attire that was barely suitable for church - a low cut black top and black pleated miniskirt.“I wore black today. For the Queen. Loved your sermon reflecting on her long reign. It was really touching.”“Thanks. Glad you liked it. It’s been hard to write. So, are you heading over to the church hall? I’ll be there shortly.”“Mmm, maybe later,” she grinned. “Did you know Reverend, that you actually resemble Prince Edward a bit?”Feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she was, he felt color rise in his cheeks. “Uh, well thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment! Do excuse me Jenna, I just have to ditch these vestments, then I shall be going to the hall.”He hurried off to the vestry. In there, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was an average-looking bloke, not the sort that a stunning younger woman would lust after.“Well at least I’m much younger than Prince Edward.” He smiled. Suddenly, the door opened.“You’re not getting away from me this time Reverend,” Jenna whispered, shutting the door behind her.Before he could say anything, she’d cornered him. Glancing into his pale blue eyes for a moment, she covered his lips with hers, feeling him tense up as her arms reached round his back. After a few seconds, he relaxed, as if he knew resistance of any kind was futile. Jenna could feel the heat of his body through his cassock.“I’ve wanted you for a long time Reverend,” she murmured. “Ever since you taught me that Introduction to Christianity course six months ago.”“J-Jenna, this isn’t appropriate. I, I am a married man!”“Not a very happy one, I suspect. I can always tell.” A shuddering sigh escaped him as her lips brushed his again. Jenna broke the kiss. “Is there any space in here to conduct unholy activities, Reverend?”Powerless to resist this angel of sin, the smitten vicar grabbed her slim hips and motioned her to straddle his lap. “Jenna,” he mumbled, rubbing one thumb over the outline of her hardened bra-less nipple through her thin top. “It’s, er, been a long time since I was in a situation like this.”“Your wife,”"Lucy and I have been leading separate, and sexless lives for years.”“I’m sorry to hear that. So let me bring you some salvation.”He leaned in to kiss the exposed skin of Jenna’s neck; his lips leaving a hot trail from just below her ear to the center of her throat at the neck of her black top. Then he took the lower hem of the top and pushed it up to bare her belly, and then her pert C-cup breasts. Leaning her back, he took one nipple with his lips and she gasped. He was not only willing, but rampant; as Jenna had suspected, it had been a long time since this man had got laid.Even with the cassock and surplice on, there was no disguising the Reverend’s raging erection. Jenna explored eagerly, desperately, reaching under the cassock, feeling his hard erection through his trousers.Lord Jesus, Jenna was trembling so much with excitement. She’d had a clergy fetish for years and fantasized about seducing the vicar for such a long time. Reverend Morris returned his attention to her breasts and she was so wet she could almost feel herself dripping into her panties.Without further ado, she unfastened his belt before reaching for his zipper. Reverend Morris attempted to remove his surplice.“No, no, leave that on,” Jenna said.“As you wish.” He mumbled holding up his cassock, almost unable to comprehend what was about to happen.Jenna knelt in front of the vicar, pulled down the zipper of his trousers, and exposed white boxer shorts - adorned with little Christian crosses.“Oh wow. Where did you get those, Reverend?” Jenna grinned.He blushed. “Um, a church event I attended in London. The gift shop was quite varied,”"Umm.” Jenna pulled down his trousers and boxers, freeing his heated cock.“Ah. The staff of life.”She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip.“Oh dear God,” Reverend Morris groaned.As she groped his shaft, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was.“Ooh, Reverend you certainly have sinned,” Jenna smiled. “Nice and wet - just how I like it.” She teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. She began to suck him off furiously, her head bobbing up and down faster and faster, her tongue licking the sensitive underside of his shaft.“Oh, I am blessed!” He gasped.Jenna licked every inch of his love pole, running her tongue cross every vein, igniting every nerve ending. The vicar cried out in joy. Then she withdrew and looked up at him.In her throatiest, most sexy tone, she said, “Well Reverend, are you just going to stand there, or come and tame your lost sheep?”Like a bolt of lightning, Reverend Morris kissed Jenna’s lips as if they were the sweet fruit of Eden, and lifted her up. He pulled her drenched lacy panties off. It had been too damn long since he’d had pleasure so willingly offered to him like this. He parted her legs quickly, and, with no further warning, plunged his holy rod deep into her waiting cunt. He began to establish a fast-paced rhythm which soon had them both moaning in pleasure.“Ah hah!” Jenna gasped. “Oh, Reverend. Yes! Right there. Deeper. Deeper! God that feels amazing! Oh! Ah! Oh, Yes!”Jenna was in a state of complete euphoria. She had dreamt about what it would feel like to be fucked by a vicar, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think it would be this incredible. He was a skillful lover, hitting the sensitive nerves within her tunnel, bringing her ever closer to that heavenly pinnacle.Reverend Morris began to quicken his thrusts and rammed his hard staff deeper into her yearning vagina. He felt his climax coming; it was an uncontrollable wave of ecstasy. Faster and faster he thrust, the sound of colliding skin echoing throughout the vestry. Jenna kept on riding the vicar until he blasted his cum into her like a fire hose.“Ah! Praise the Lord!”Jenna looked at Reverend Morris, and for the first time in years, he looked truly satisfied.“For what I hath received, I am truly thankful,” he panted.“Me too,” Jenna replied, her insides filled with his thick cum.In the afterglow of their sinful fun, they kissed each other softly, caressing one another lovingly. Reverend Morris couldn’t stop smiling. So that was what he’d been missing out on. Dear God! He doubted that Lucy could ever match Jenna’s standards, even if she suddenly turned into a raving nympho.“I suppose, we should head over to the church hall,” Jenna said, idly fingering his clerical collar. “More tea Vicar?”Jenna Plays the Organist's OrganGordon Leesmith was not having a good day. Another Sunday, another morning Eucharist at St. Michael’s, where he dutifully played the organ and directed the choir. It had all gone as planned, until the end of the service when that damned busybody John Norris had felt the need to vent his spleen.“You played the wrong opening hymn, Gordon,” John exclaimed, as the congregation departed. “Great is Thy Faithfulness was selected, not Love Divine.”“That’s not what the vicar told me,” Gordon muttered, not looking at him. He loathed this odious pedant.“Anyways I just thought I’d let you know. Patricia and I were a little confused.”“No change there then,” Gordon replied, unable to restrain himself. “Do you think maybe just for once you and wife might refrain from poking your noses into every bloody thing?”John was so taken aback, he couldn’t speak for a moment. “Well really! There’s no need for language, Gordon. I was merely saying,”"Don’t come the innocent with me, you’re the biggest shit-stirrer in this church. I’ve seen the gossip you spread on Facebook. And I’ll play whatever bloody hymn I like, thank you very much.”“I wouldn’t argue in a church.”“I’ll argue anywhere as long as I’m in the right. Now bugger off!”Thus suitably chastised, the subdued John left, and Gordon was left to sort through his music sheets in peace. He adjusted his black robe and continued grumbling to himself. He wasn’t always as grumpy and short-tempered as this. Years ago he’d been a jolly, fun-loving chap who enjoyed joking with other members of the church.That was before his divorce.Gordon was fifty-five, and had been organist and choirmaster at St Michael’s for almost twenty years. Ten years ago, his wife Marjorie had run off with a man young enough to be her son. She was fifty and her lover was a twenty-five year old personal trainer. They’d met online. Gordon’s world had been knocked for six. He never imagined Marjorie would cheat on him. They’d always been so happy, with a very active sex life.Jenna had been quietly observing the little outburst with much interest. After expressing an interest in joining the choir, Reverend Morris had warned her that the organist had the “shortest of short fuses.” When she’d pressed him further, the vicar had revealed the details of Gordon’s marital problems and sworn her to secrecy.Jenna licked her lips. She was aching for a romp with Reverend Morris right now, but he’d been asked to conduct a service at another local church this morning, and a female vicar had stood in for him. What was a horny lass to do?“Poor, miserable Gordon.” Jenna mused. “I doubt he gets much action. He needs cheering up.” Looking at him, she thought him quite good looking for an older man. He had a full head of silvery hair and unlike Reverend Morris, was of a stocky build. On the occasions she’d seen him minus his long black robe, he possessed quite a paunch. Jenna idly toyed with a strand of her hair, considering her next move. Gordon was giving off daddy kink vibes.“I wonder if the organist will let me play with his organ?”Gordon was busy rifling through hymn books and didn’t notice Jenna saunter over at first. She cleared her throat and he glanced round.“Uh. Can I help you with something?”“Oh hello,” Jenna replied, acting rather coy. “I, hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time, Mr,”"Gordon. Bad time? There’s never a good time,” he muttered, giving the usual gruff response. “Nothing personal.”“Well I just wanted to thank you, Gordon. You played my favorite hymn, Love Divine. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed it.”His attention captured, Gordon finally put down the books he was fiddling with and sat on the organ stool, facing her. “You did?”“I love anything by Charles Wesley. His hymns are amazing.”“Indeed they are. He wrote thousands during his lifetime.”Gordon certainly was hard to read. Jenna wondered if she was having any effect on him at all. His dour expression didn’t give anything away. It looked like this chap was going to be quite a challenge.“Every week I come to church and I hear you play these lovely old hymns on this fine organ.” Jenna continued. “I love hearing you play.”“I’ve had enough practice. I’ve been doing this for many years now.”Evidently, Gordon wasn’t used to receiving any kind of compliments whatsoever.Jenna walked closer. “You’re so talented.”“Ah, well. That’s, nice of you to say. What’s your name?”Her persistence seemed to be paying off, and the organist appeared to be getting a little flustered at her flattery.“Jenna.”“Do you play any musical instruments, Jenna?” Gordon replied.“Just the piano.”He nodded. “Good, good. For work or just a hobby?”“Oh purely as a hobby,” she smiled, flicking her red hair. “I was wondering, please could you play a bit of Charles Wesley for me?”Gordon’s stern face finally relaxed into a smile. “Why certainly. What would you like to hear?”“Oh how about And Can It Be?”He shuffled around on the stool. “Very well. I often practice a bit after the morning service, when the others have left. I’m not one for idle chatter in the church hall.”“Me neither,” Jenna said, walking up to beside him, so close that her cleavage was at his eye level. Gordon couldn’t help but give a side glance, and then quickly looked ahead.“Right, are you ready?”The strains of the great Wesleyan hymn filled the church as Gordon’s fingers graced the mighty organ. Jenna hummed along, and then an idea came into her head. Suddenly, Gordon stopped playing.“I don’t hear any singing, Jenna. How about you sing whilst I play?”“Ok!” She grinned, and he resumed playing.“And can it be, that I should gain - An int'rest in the Savior's blood?”Jenna deftly unfastened the first button on her white top.“Died He for me, who caused His pain,For me, who Him to death pursued?”Gordon happened to glance to his right again, and almost played a wrong note. Jenna continued singing.“Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”She unfastened another button. Gordon continued playing, and as the chorus approached, the third and final button of her top was swiftly unfastened.“Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?”Gordon’s eyes almost popped out of his head and he cleared his throat.“Go on, play a second verse!” Jenna said.He continued to play, but could feel his face burning. Jenna was singing her heart out, and seemed to be blissfully unaware that she’d suffered a wardrobe malfunction, she wasn’t wearing a bra! Bloody hell, what a beautiful pair of tits, Gordon was uncomfortably hot all at once. He was no stranger to internet porn - after his divorce, porn was the only thing he could turn to in order to get a bit of relief, not that it really relieved him all that much, in fact it didn’t turn him on at all anymore, he’d become impotent. Suddenly, with the young and beautiful Jenna inches away from him and, somewhat exposed, his dormant cock had surged back into life and was now straining against his underpants and trousers,“Just one more verse, Gordon! I’ll give it my all.”He continued playing and she resumed singing, her pale, pert breasts jiggling, inches from his face.“Oh dear God,” Gordon thought to himself. What a situation to find oneself in. “Should I say something to her?”“My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!”Jenna pretended to lose her balance. “Whoops!” She said, toppling over and putting her hand on Gordon’s thigh. He jolted and played a note that was so off-key, Les Dawson would’ve been impressed.“Oh Gordon that was such fun! I love that hymn so much!”An embarrassed Gordon quickly rose to his feet. “Um, I’m glad. Er, would you excuse me a minute, Jenna? I need to visit the gents.”Jenna struggled to hold back a giggle as he hurried off to the toilets. “He must be rock hard by now,” she smirked. “Probably having a wank. I’ll give him a few minutes, then I’m going in there after him.”Gordon had to relieve himself more frequently these days, due to that most troublesome of male organs - the prostate. Today however, it wasn’t an enlarged prostate stopping him from peeing, but a raging boner. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d got as hard as this. Unfastening his belt and trousers, he slipped a hand inside his underpants and pulled out his cock. He stroked himself and wondered what to do. That Jenna - was she actually flirting with him?That was ridiculous, she was young enough to be his daughter. What woman in her right mind would want to flirt with a fat old git like him?Still, how could she not have noticed her tits were hanging out like that? It seemed so deliberate. That stunning, red-haired vixen! He couldn’t hide in the toilets forever. She might come in looking to see if he was alright. He zipped up his trousers, adjusted his robe and went back into the church,Jenna was sitting on the organ stool, legs crossed, but top wide open.“There you are, Gordon. I was beginning to think you’d flushed yourself down the loo. You’re not trying to avoid me are you?”Gordon blushed crimson. “W-what are you playing at? Someone might come in at any moment?”Jenna shrugged. “So what?” Whoever is sat at the organ can’t be seen from the door. You have to walk right down the side aisle and come right up close. Nobody can see us. And you played the hymn so good. I just want to show my appreciation.“He blinked, mesmerized. "Was I really that good?”Jenna walked over to the organist. “Better than that,” she said. She looked up at Gordon with dreamy, lust filled eyes. He was about to say something, but Jenna shut him off, grabbing his neck and pulling his head down to her level. She kissed him hard on the lips. Gordon didn’t resist or try to pull away. Spurred on by this, Jenna wrapped his arms round Gordon’s sides and pressed her body against his. The organist struggled to stay upright for a second, but regained his balance. He lowered his head and feasted on her hardened nipples, until Jenna pushed him down onto the stool, his back to the organ.“What’s that passage in the Bible, something about the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak?” Jenna teased, running her hand across his robe-covered thighs.“Uh, I just play the hymns,” Gordon sighed, as her hand brushed his crotch. “You’re leading me into temptation, that’s all I can say. Look what you’ve done to me!”“I haven’t started yet,” Jenna smiled, lifting up his black robe, revealing black trousers. His crotch bulge was enormous. “I’m going to have fun playing THIS organ,” Jenna said. She felt bolder and more in control than she had ever before, more than when she’d seduced Reverend Morris last week. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his underwear. Gordon was wearing white y-front underpants, and his cock was straining against the fabric; a large wet spot had appeared. Jenna caressed the bulge, then carefully pulled down his damp y-fronts, revealing his painfully engorged cock. It was average in length but girthy. She began kissing his shaft, which twitched and leaked precum.Gordon gripped the sides of the stool so tight, his fingernails turned white.“Oh God,”"Gordon could you stand up for a sec? Your undies are in the way.”Immediately, he did as she asked, and she pulled his underpants and trousers down to his ankles. Half an hour ago, such actions would’ve been unthinkable, he could barely think at all right now. All his anger and frustration and pent-up desire were released at once, when he felt Jenna’s hands slip round his shaft.“That’s better.” Jenna said. “What a magnificent organ you have!”Sweat ran down Gordon’s brow as the temptress licked the head of his cock. The taste of precum was like nectar to her tongue. He was groaning louder now, as Jenna reached his most sensitive areas. She deep throated and sucked him hard and he yelled in pleasure. His balls were so full, he feared they’d explode.“Oh Jenna, harder, more! Yes!” Gordon groaned, putting his hand on her head. She gripped his bare thighs and buried her face deeper between his legs, sucking him. His wiry grey pubes were tickling her nose. Gordon cried out in joy.Jenna withdrew, only to run her tongue around the underside of his cock.“Oh fuck, I’m coming!” Gordon yelled. He lay back, forgetting the organ was behind him, and his elbows pressed against the lower keyboard. A horrific cacophony of wrong notes filled the church, but neither he or Jenna cared.Gordon reached his peak quickly and it was impossible to stop himself. He repeated Jenna’s name, over and over again, as she licked his throbbing member. He let go, feeling that intense wave of pleasure spread up from his balls and across his whole body. A huge stream of cum spurted down Jenna’s throat. She swallowed the seed greedily. Cum tasted so good, and Gordon’s was especially thick, tangy and delicious. A second spurt landed right between her breasts, while a third and final load sprayed right across her face, leaving her coated in the gooey, sticky essence.“Mmm, Gordon, that was the best!” She slowly licked around his cockhead, as some final drops of cum dripped out.“What on earth is Gordon doing?” Mrs. Norris wondered as she hurried to the church. The din from the organ was so bad, it could be heard in the church hall. She pulled a face and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses. “What a dreadful noise!” Marching down the aisle, she shouted Gordon’s name, but there was no way he could hear due to the deafening din of the organ.Gordon sat up on the stool and the awful noise ceased.“What a delightful mess you’ve made!” Jenna giggled, as his cum trickled down her face and breasts.“I, I’ll get you some tissues,” he gasped, still in a blissful stupor.“I really enjoyed playing your organ. Can I play it again sometime?”Gordon’s heart jumped in his chest. There was going to be a next time? “Of course you can!”“Gordon, what are you doing? Ah, Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?”"Oh shit,” Gordon exclaimed as he noticed Mrs. Norris standing there. The look on her face was priceless.“What’s your problem?” Jenna replied. “Have you never seen a woman playing an organ before?”Passion at the vicarage.After another boring day in her dead-end office job, Jenna was glad to be on her way home. Friday at last, thank God. And speaking of God, her smartphone had just vibrated. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled it out and smiled as she read the message.Hi Archangel JenGod’s servant on Earth wondered if you’d like to spend some time with him tonight? Can’t wait until Sunday. He has of you the great need and is all alone in the vicarage. L is away visiting sis until Monday. She’s taken C along too.xxxR.M“Oh yes!” She said out loud. The vicarage would be more comfortable than another fuck in the vestry. Quickly, she composed a reply.Praise the Lord!Just got to go home and change into something holier, or not! will be there in half an hour. xxxJenna got into her car. A fun night of “worship” beckoned.St Michael’s vicarage was set back from the main road by the church, down a long driveway flanked by beech trees. The trees were already on the turn, ready to show off their autumn color.“Nice,” Jenna mused as she admired the attractive garden. “This place is huge.” It was way grander than the two bed semi where she’d grown up, and was still living at, with her parents. The cost of living crisis had meant that fleeing the nest had been put on hold. She knocked on the door. She hadn’t been waiting for long, when Reverend Morris opened it, No cassock and surplice on tonight, just his “everyday vicar garb” as she termed it - black shirt, clerical collar and black trousers.“Hello Jenna.” he said, his voice a little shaky with nervous excitement. He took a deep breath. She looked absolutely stunning, in a figure-hugging black dress. “Wow, um, come in. You look lovely.”Jenna flashed him a winning smile. “Why thank you, Reverend! Great place you have here. Your garden’s really nice.”“Ah, yes it is. Not my efforts, I’m afraid. I have many volunteers who keep it looking good. After all, it’s only my house for as long as I’m vicar at St Michaels.” He tried not to keep staring, but it was hard not to. “Have, you eaten?”“Not really. Didn’t have time. I grabbed a few biscuits on the way out.”“Oh good! I was so hoping you’d say that. I thought I could cook us something. I really enjoy cooking.”Jenna hadn’t been expecting this. “Oh that’s so nice of you.” It was best to ravish the reverend on a full stomach.“What sort of stuff do you like? You’re not veggie or vegan are you?”“Nope. I love my meat. I pretty much eat anything.”Reverend Morris smiled. “Same here! Okay, how does fillet steak, chips, side salad and a glass of red wine sound?”“Heavenly!”“By the way, I was at the midweek hymn practice, and Gordon the organist seems to have undergone a personality transplant! I’ve never seen him so happy. Was he like that when you spoke to him about the choir last Sunday?”Jenna bit her lip. “Hmm, he was a little moody at first, but after I paid him a compliment, he sort of brightened up.”“Blimey, whatever did you say to him? He’s like a different bloke. He’s bitten my head off a few times in the past.”“Well,” Jenna said innocently, “I thanked him for playing one of my favorite hymns, and said how much I admired his organ, er, his organ playing. I’m a big fan of Charles Wesley.”“He did write some great hymns.”“Umm, yes. Over 6000 hymns. And he somehow found the time to father eight children. How did he find the time?” Jenna added with a mischievous grin.Reverend Morris chuckled. “Perhaps writing hymns made him very horny!”They both laughed at this.The vicar rose from his chair. “I’d say that steak is just about ready,” he said, hurrying into the kitchen. At that moment, Jenna felt her phone vibrate. Quickly, she slipped it out of her bag. Another message. Who was it this time?I have a message from Charles Wesley. He wonders if u would to see his hard, bulging hymn book. Hope 2 c u at church this Sunday.G [heart emoji]“Oh Gordon,” Jenna giggled to herself, and switched the phone off. “It’s hard work being such a good Christian and helping those in need.”The meal was delicious, and to add to the mood, Reverend Morris had some relaxing Gregorian chant music playing in the background. Jenna had never been wined and dined like this before, and after they’d finished, felt it only right to thank the vicar for his kindness.In an instant, Jenna’s lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. His hands were in her hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. If it was a dream, Reverend Morris never wanted it to end. This woman had awakened something in him that he couldn’t quite describe. At this point, as Jenna took his hand and led him upstairs, he realized his marriage to Lucy was well and truly stone dead.The reverend’s hands were at Jenna’s side, unzipping then lifting the silky material of her dress slowly, over her navel, over her chest, over her head, off. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of her breasts, round and perfect, the stuff of many a dream but beautiful beyond any imagining. His hands cupped them gently. His mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took her nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. His hands roamed down over her arse, lavishing her smooth curves.Jenna was amazed at Reverend Morris’ confident handling of her body. His sensual, hallowed hands moved over her, sending her heart racing, and she wasted no time in freeing him from his clothing.As Reverend Morris moved to lay over her, he could sense her need. It was almost as palpable as his own desire, and he was eager to satisfy them both. Jenna’s hands guided his pulsating member, and at last he thrust boldly into her waiting cunt. The reverend gasped in spite of himself as his rod slid into this tight, warm pleasure hole. She held him so tightly and the sensations that coursed through his loins were beyond what he’d experienced back in the vestry a fortnight ago.Jenna’s eyes rolled back as Reverend Morris’ cock filled her with perfect execution. She bucked her hips up in time with his forceful thrusts, her hands gripped tightly around his shoulders. His grunts of pleasure were deep and resonant, arousing her even further. His hot shaft bore into her over and over again, gaining intensity with every thrust. Jenna began seeing flashes of light behind her eyes, and she knew that their moment was near.Moments later, they climaxed together; Jenna’s cunt was filled to the brim with another load of holy spunk.“God in Heaven! I think we have sinned, a lot!”To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.
The Grand Knockout Tournament (also known as It's a Royal Knockout) was a one-off charity event first shown on BBC1 on 19th June 1987, to an audience of 18 million gobsmacked viewers. The brainchild of the then 23 year old Prince Edward, the slapstick spectacle featured the Princess Royal and the Duke and Duchess of York captaining rival teams in a series of preposterous rounds involving celebrities including Rowan Atkinson, Tom Jones, Cliff Richard, John Travolta and Les Dawson. In this episode, Arion, Rebecca and Olly recall Fergie's feelings of shame, blame and betrayal; discover the extraordinary cast of characters gathered at this bizarre occasion; and explain why Meat Loaf and Prince Andrew did not see eye-to-eye… Further Reading: ‘Remembering The TV Disaster That Was It's A Royal Knockout' (Grazia, 2020): https://graziadaily.co.uk/celebrity/news/royal-knockout-anne-edward-andrew/ ‘It's a royal cock-up' (The Guardian, 2002): https://www.theguardian.com/media/2002/mar/05/themonarchy.broadcasting ‘The Grand Knockout Tournament' (BBC, 1987): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwkv0-QlbZY #Royals #80s #TV #UK Love the show? Join
Jon Culshaw is one of Britain's best loved impressionists. Here he explains his art and impersonates Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Rishi Sunak, Sir Keir Starmer, Angela Rayner, Sir John Major, Sir Tony Blair, George Bush, George W Bush, Russell Crowe, Les Dawson, Frank Bruno, Chris Eubank, Sir Michael Caine, Ann Widdecombe, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jordan Peterson, actor Brian Cox and Professor Brian Cox.
Welcome to Eyes and Teeth Kevin DeanKevin and I became acquainted within the GOWR, the Grand Order of Water Rats, which is a Showbusiness charity over 130 years old which included members including Danny Kaye, Charles Chaplin, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, Tommy Cooper, Charlie Chester, Les Dawson, Keith Harris, and those still with us today such as Rick Wakeman, Alfie Boe, The Hairy Bikers, Steve Hewlett, WHO? Well it is a who's who in the order, we look out for our fellow entertainers who have fallen on hard times and are involved in the Royal Variety Charity as well as countless nominated charities including childrens charities.Its an entertainers way of giving back which is always great for us.I digress, Kevin Dean and I have performed on many of these benefit shows, we are planning our own for the Rats in the near future but we got even closer during the lockdown years.We recorded songs, and jingles, sketches and so much more and you can hear Kevin's magic during this podcast as he is the producer of our very own Eyes and Teeth jingles and the theme tune itself, all from the head of KD productions.So now it's time for you to get to know the man behind the music and Two Metre Peter, welcome to Eyes & Teeth Kevin Dean
Pete CutlerWelcome to Eyes & Teeth and today is Christmas Eve 2022 so Merry Christmas to all in these crazy times we're experiencing. It started with Brexit, then Covid years and the crazy news just doesn't stop which is why a little light relief in your ears is created through the medium of showbusiness as I continue my last few seasons of this podcast delving into the minds and careers of talented individuals and take little nuggets from their entertainment world so the future generation can look back and listen to how a comedian gets to the Comedy Store, or how that singer got the Royal Albert Hall or that comedy actor got to the sitcom or TV Presenter reached the heights of Television Success, it really is an insight and tuition for young budding performers in all genres so sit back and enjoy this next episode with an all round nice guy as well as an all round entertainer the unique talents of Pete Cutler.We had a few things in common working at the London Palladium back in the mid-nineties as Ushers, we knew the same people in that theatre and so we get to reminisce about those days as well as the days we cruised the seven seas on Cunard Welcome Pete Cutler
Dean WintersWelcome to Eyes & Teeth, That's Showbiz and where better to take you than Torquay and talk about Babbacombe and its very successful summer season still going strong after many decades and one of the last surviving variety theatres running annual shows with casts of many talented folk which thanks to its Producer at Matpro Ltd Colin Matthews and his wonderful team have launched quite a few great names in variety and musicals in recent years.Deano has been on the circuit for a few decades and knows his stuff, he has some great anecdotes and shares with us his heroes and stories of working hard in showbusiness, in pantomime, Benidorm, television, radio to co writing and starring in his own stage play with his pal the brilliant Steve Laister.Dean is also a keen runner and talks about raising coins for many charities whilst travelling the world to complete marathons. Now thats dedicationMost of all he has the best laugh in the business since Barbara WindsorWelcome to Eyes & Teeth Season 14 Dean Winters
Jon Culshaw is one of the UK's top impressionists. Best know for the show Dead Ringers which ran for 7 series on BBC2 and is now on it 22nd series on BBC Radio4. He stared in 3 series of BBC1's The Impressions Show alongside Debra Stephenson and has also been in 3 series of Spitting Image, Radio 4's The Secret World, The Impressionable Jon Culshaw, Parkinson, The Royal Variety Performance, The Graham Norton Show, Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, 2DTV, Head Cases, and Jon Culshaw's Commercial Breakdown. He's currently touring in Les Dawson, Flying High, a funny, affectionate and poignant celebration of the much-missed comedy legend. Jon Culshaw is guest number 239 on My Time Capsule and chats to Michael Fenton Stevens about the five things he'd like to put in a time capsule; four he'd like to preserve and one he'd like to bury and never have to think about again .Follow Jon Culshaw on Twitter: @jonculshaw .Follow My Time Capsule on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook: @MyTCpod .Follow Michael Fenton Stevens on Twitter: @fentonstevens & Instagram @mikefentonstevens .Produced and edited by John Fenton-Stevens for Cast Off Productions .Music by Pass The Peas Music .Artwork by matthewboxall.com .This podcast is proud to be associated with the charity Viva! Providing theatrical opportunities for hundreds of young people. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Welcome to Season 13 of Eyes & Teeth – This Season is Titled The RATS. The rats have been around since 1889 and there are never more than 200 members in the order at one time.I was member 883 and my proposer was Roy Hudd OBE and seconder was Roger De Courcey.Can you imagine sitting in lodge listening to anecdotes and laughing at fellow comedians or actors, musicians, magicians, ventriloquists or members of the Royal household sharing one thing that is universal and that is laughter.At one time Laurel & Hardy were sat there with Wee Georgie Wood, or Little Tich would have turned up on a night off to talk about his busy week at the music hall. (With thanks to British Pathe for their incredible archive videos on you tube)Just think of Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson adlibbing across the room when Max Bygraves trying to tell a story… The order is steeped in history of variety and humour, and we meet around 12 times a year on top of organising Charity Events as well as the highlight of each year when that years King Rat plans the biggest party in London in November at their very own Ball.In recent times our last King Rat Duggie Brown was crowned in 2020, for obvious reasons his crown was rolled over to 2021 and 2022 where this year would have been his big event. Sadly, we lost Duggie to a sudden illness mid 2022 which still today saddens us.Duggie was the most brilliant of Kings, we all were treated to the banter, he had the stories, and we were happy to hear them. He worked on stage as a brilliant comedian and as an actor in TV and commercials even towards the end he was turning work away.We miss you Duggie. Max Bygraves OBE loved being part of the GOWR and his story today is told by my first guest in this season. Anthony Bygraves grew up surrounded by the glamour and glitz of British showbusiness and he himself has created a wealth of Music & Comedy as well as kept his father's legacy alive Anthony has Written Produced and Directed shows and records and toured worldwide in his own right. Listen to his story today as we chat about his father Max, The London Palladium, Judy Garland, Peter Brough and Archie Andrews, when James Mason saved his life, his final moments with Tony Hancock in Australia and so much more as he Tells us more than just one story.Welcome to E&T The Rats Anthony Bygraves
Nick Hennegan's VERY Rough Guide to the Fringe. He presents quick updates from the World's Biggest Open Arts Festival - the Edinburgh 2022 Fringe! Also at BohemainBritain.com
Nick Hennegan's VERY Rough Guide to the Fringe. He presents quick updates from the World's Biggest Open Arts Festival - the Edinburgh 2022 Fringe! Also at BohemainBritain.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bohemianbritain/message
In this episode we caught up with the writer, journalist, author and comedy historian Louis Barfe in a brilliant interview. Insights into the career of Morecambe and Wise, Les Dawson, Ken Dodd and many more of our best loved comedians. Mr Barfe is a fascinating individual with a brilliant story... Enjoy!
One of the biggest hits of the 2009 Edinburgh Festival Fringe was a one-man show about comedian Eric Morecambe written by Tim Whitnall and performed by Bob Golding. When comedy impressionist Jon Culshaw (Dead Ringers, Spitting Image) had the idea to pay tribute to comedian Les Dawson, he teamed up with Tim and Bob to create Les Dawson: Flying High, which will make its debut at this year's Edinburgh Fringe before being extended for a national tour. BTG Editor David Chadderton spoke to the three of them together during the rehearsal period about their approach to telling the story, some of the elements they had to include and the affection that they and many others still have for a few comedians of Les Dawson's generation. Les Dawson: Flying High, written by Tim Whitnall, directed by Bob Golding and starring Jon Culshaw, will run at the Gordon Aikman Theatre, Assembly George Square in Edinburgh from 3 to 28 August 2022 followed by a tour of the UK. (Photo of Jon Culshaw as Les Dawson by Steve Ullathorne)
A giant Earth is suspended from Lancaster Priory's rafters Rail strike passenger frustration, Blackpool's therapeutic alpacas and impressionist Jon Culshaw's Les Dawson tribute
Laura Grimshaw is this week's guest, the producer behind some of BBC Radio 4 Extra's landmark deep-dives into legendary figures from the world of comedy, including Les Dawson, the Bonzos, Barry Humphries and, notably, Neil Innes. She is also a regular host on Podcast Radio Hour, showcasing the wide world of podcasts, and contributor to 4 Extra's Comedy Club. From an early age she developed a love of comedy, thanks to her mum and grandparents exposing her to such classics as The Goon Show, Monty Python and Round the Horne and this has informed her career ever since. Laura joined Tyler to talk about the Goons, Python, Neil Innes and much more, including how older comedy is received by modern audiences and why sometimes compromises have to be made, the proliferation of podcasts and how important they can be in giving a platform to talent, and how she feels blessed to have been able to meet and share with so many astonishing figures from the worlds of comedy and popular entertainment. *** NOTE: This episode was recorded in mid-May 2022, shortly before the announcement that Radio 4 Extra was to be moved to BBC Sounds, with its future after that uncertain as of the time of writing.
From BOTTOM to FEELINGS!!!!!Rik Mayall Vs Les Dawson but who deserves a place in Round 2?????Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/eliminationpodcast?fan_landing=true)
Miki Travis is one of the good guys in the business, he not only performs magic for children but he can do close up for adults, TV Warm Up, Stand Up, wearing smart get up, everything he does is up, within his age range as he mentions often. It was great to catch up and talk about gigs we've done together and hear about his early days right the way up to these strange days we're all having. But We've all found our way through lockdowns and lack of stage work by re inventing ourselves and Miki and his lovely wife Deborah did just that.We talk about Les Dawson, The Comedian's Golfing Society, After dinners, heckling children, that's the children heckling the act not the other way round but we also talk about our stage rules and etiquettes Welcome to E&T Miki Travis
International Producer-Director Paul Giddings tells how his television training in the BBC's Children's Department led to a career making shows celebrating Family Guy, Star Wars, Les Dawson and Bob Monkhouse, what it was like treading in the footsteps of Larry Grayson and starting a second career as an actor on stage and screen. Steam, Smoke & Mirrors Theme music composed by John Orchard and arranged by Ian English Facebook: colin.edmonds.73 Instagram: colinedmondsssm Twitter:@ColinEdmondsSSM Website: https://www.steamsmokeandmirrors.com/ Buy Steam, Smoke and Mirrors Available at Caffeine Nights Available at Amazon Available on Audible Buy The Lazarus Curiosity: Steam, Smoke and Mirrors 2 Available at Caffeine Nights Available at Amazon Available on Audible Buy The Nostradamus Curiosity: Steam, Smoke and Mirrors 3 Available at Caffeine Nights Available at Amazon
Louis Barfe is an author and former journalist who has written some of the most lauded biographies of classic British comedians. He has written some of the definitive life stories of the likes of Les Dawson and Ken Dodd and in his latest book, Sunshine and Laughter, he tells the unique story of one Britain's most loved double acts, Morecambe and Wise. He joins Robin to talk about the book, classic British comedy, where it still seeps into today's comedy and who he'd most love to research for a future biography. Get an extra ten minutes of chat by subscribing to the Book Shambles Patreon at patreon.com/bookshambles
This week Maria Lovelady & Michael Alan-Bailey talk to comedy writer for the stars, Brad Ashton. Brad shares stories about working with some of the comedy giants of the industry, including Groucho Marx, Tommy Cooper, Kenneth Williams and Bob Monkhouse to name a few. We also hear about our duo's wonderful time at the blue plaque unveiling of music hall performer Fred Barnes' Warrick Avenue home, hosted by The British Music Hall Society. Which famous 'Savage' did they encounter there? Have a listen and find out... Brought to you by Frame This Presents... Affiliated links: https://www.instagram.com/framethispresents https://twitter.com/framethissolp?lang=bg http://www.britishmusichallsociety.com Key Words: Groucho Marx, Tommy Cooper, Kenneth Williams, Les Dawson, Sabrina, Bob Monkhouse, Sid James, Ken Dodd Carry On Films, Double Act, Music Hall, Variety Theatre, Doctor Who, The London Palladium, The Hackney Empire, The Finsbury Park Empire, The British Music Hall Society, Fred Barnes, Queer Performance, Paul O'Grady, Lily Savage, Blue Plaque, Comedy writer, Christopher Green.
This week we're delighted to chat to author and journalist Lucy Mangan! Lucy's book Bookworm has been discussed many times on the show and is a firm favourite in YB Towers. Her new novel Are We Having Fun Yet? is fun, furious and unforgettable. We talked to her about reading epiphanies, the literary merits of Les Dawson, quintessential children's books and finding writing solace in Ikea. BOOKSDaisy Buchanan - InsatiableDaisy Buchanan - CareeringLucy Mangan - BookwormLucy Mangan - Are We Having Fun Yet?Margaret Mitchell - Gone With the WindPatrick Ness - Knife of Never Letting GoPhilippa Pearce - Tom's Midnight GardenNorton Juster - Phantom TollboothGwen Grant - Private Keep OutE Nesbit - Five Children and ItEve Garnett - Family From One End StreetEve Garnett - Further AdventuresEve Garnett - Holiday At The Dew Drop InnMaeve Binchy - Light a Penny CandleMaeve Binchy - Circle of FriendsNorah Lofts - House at Old VineRose Allatini - Despised & RejectedHelen Hull - Heat LightningDorothy Whipple - Young AnneDorothy Whipple - They Knew Mr KnightDorothy Whipple - Someone at a DistanceAnne Brontë - Tenant of Wildfell HallAnita Brookner - Start in LifeRosamond Lehmann - Invitation To the WaltzEmma Jane Unsworth - After the StormLes Dawson - Come Back With the WindPG Wodehouse - Jeeves & WoosterWodehouse - Indiscretions of Archie See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Adrian Hobart once again joins Adam in the absence of Bob for this week's podcast, in which the pair compare colds. We hear that Adrian is just getting over his, but unfortunately for Adam, it looks like the worst is yet to come. When our hosts finally start talking about crime fiction stuff, Adam reveals how Richard Osman's second novel did sales-wise (I wont do a spoiler, but I think you can probably guess it wasn't bad news), and we hear that despite all Osman's success, he still gets upset by bad reviews. Adrian tells us about a possible paper shortage in the book-printing world, while Adam takes a look at an Entertainment Daily article previewing 'the next big crime drama on BBC One'. Also in the podcast, Adam and Adrian have a coughing contest, while the latter reveals he effing loves submarines. ~ Moriarty ~ October's Patreon FREE book of the month from Kobo is Overboard by Ivy Ngeow. https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/overboard-20 September's FREE book of the month is available until October 7th. It's Lost in America by A.S. French https://www.kobo.com/en/ebook/lost-in-america-8 To get these books and a different one every month for free, become a patron at patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast Buy Partners In Crime merchandise here https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592091 Buy a 'Partners In Time' clock by clicking below! https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/52592683 Don't forget your exclusive Partners in Crime discounts through Kobo. Get 90% off your first purchase using the code CRIME at checkout. And you can also get 40% off all books using the code PARTNERS when you shop using this link: bit.ly/PartnersKobo If you'd like to support Partners in Crime and get early access to every episode — on video — plus lots of other goodies, head over to patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast CONTACT US Email: hello@partnersincrime.online Facebook: facebook.com/groups/crimefictionpodcast/ Twitter: twitter.com/crimeficpodcast Instagram: instagram.com/crimefictionpodcast/ Website: partnersincrime.online Patreon: patreon.com/partnersincrimepodcast
Dave Myers is on my list of favourite TV Chefs, I love to watch Keith Floyd specials, Ainsley Harriot makes me laugh as does Gordon Ramsey with his more adult humour in the kitchen but there's something about Dave's wit and puns that keeps me smiling whilst salivating over his recipes with his long time friend Simon King. The Hairy Bikers are a national treasure and are a joy to watch on a cruise, on a flight or at home when they're TV Specials are constantly showing.They bring that Comedy Duo aspect to a cooking series, they make you feel homely and happy and just in a matter of a few years, I was delighted to see they were both proposed into the Water Rats HQ at Kings Cross.So on a few occasions I have been sat in a room with Dave and heard his stories and anecdotes and I have loved being in his company. Having read his Autobiography I learned of his TV experience and relationship with showbusiness and enjoyed the story of how the Hairy Bikers became one of the biggest thing in a British kitchen.Dave talks today about those days in make-up, taking Orville the Duck to the pub, Strictly Come Dancing, providing the make up for an elephant for the Paul Daniels Magic Show and washing Les Dawson's hair, joining the Water Rats and walking through Charlie Chaplin's Garden with me and Scribe Rat Mike Martin in Vevey, Switzerland in 2016… I can't believe he had time to fit this chat in but after we finished he was off on a holiday and then a 4 week film shoot for another series of the Hairy Bikers, so I'm happy to say welcome to Eyes & Teeth Season 8 for the final time when I chat to TV Personality Dave Myers
Welcome back to the second part of our conversation with Paul Smith. This time Paul talks about studying at Leeds College of Music, having lessons with legendary drummers JOE MORELLO, JOHN RILEY, BILLY DRUMMOND & JIM CHAPIN, writing a book on MEL LEWIS, flying a plane to a Freddie Starr gig, backing comedians such as RUSS ABBOT, BOB MONKHOUSE & LES DAWSON, playing on the MICHAEL PARKINSON SHOW and what is takes to be a professional musician. 'What makes a professional musician? Somebody who can't do anything else.' Find Paul on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/Drummian Find our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/e5acf7f7d18a/wrmailinglistwelcome thewashboardresonators.com
This week we have the first of many 'Big quiz offs' and we talk about our visit to the Pixel Bunker, accidentally running over cats, The Olympics, The new He Man show, action figures, The Brown Bear Comedy club (with a special appearance from Les Dawson) and a whole lot more
In this weeks episode of THE LIKES OF US podcast, dedicated to Working-Class Life, Art, Politics and Culture, your host, Neil Bradley, commemorates the one year anniversary of the death of his little podcast superstar, Chili-Palmer, talking about the weekend he died, and the aftermath of that loss. He also talks about tentatively searching for another dog, and how Travis-Bickle (his new podcast star) helped him both recover from the loss of Child and to re-discover his mojo. There's also the usual stuff, talking about losing your childhood confidence once you become an adult, the perils of social realism in theatre, five-minute wonders, and the discovery of a new creative outlet, this time in the form of his Research Assistant's piano, which ends with you being treated to his best Les Dawson impression!
Ian Irving, won talent competitions which took him to New Faces which led to Opportunity Knocks. He warmed up sitcom audiences and supported the greatest names in the business and went on to have his own TV Special.Earning his crown on the Sporting Dinner circuit he is respected and admired throughout our business and Brothers in the Grand Order of Water Rats.Welcome to Eyes And Teeth Ian Irving
It might have been Joseph Heller who said something along the lines that just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. Call me paranoid: It was the middle of the night and it was a desolate bus stop at Luton Airport. I was alone. There was just me, my red suitcase with huge white spots on it that is easier to see than a more restraint style of luggage, and there was my cane of course. Then came the man in the Aaron jumper, (never best worn with mourning dress), who asked me if I needed any help. I was polite but firm. I did not. It was kind of him to offer. It was a long cold wait, after the second delayed night flight in three days, and little chance of getting home. Aaron jumper and I had just missed the bus. He made me feel as if I was being watched. Luckily we were not alone for long and with each new member of the queue he mouthed and pointed at me. He had got there before any of them and he was first in the queue to ensure that I would be helped and they would be in no doubt who was doing the helping. When the bus finally arrived he led from the front and made sure I got just what he knew I needed. He gripped my cane and manouvred it for me, thus depriving me of my principle means of establishing what the hell was going on around me. He was going to make sure there were no accidents on his watch. While I was composing myself after a small tussle and a polite “it's easier if I do it myself” he held back the waves of competing passengers by stretching out both arms to form a human shield, mouthing something, Les Dawson style, before commanding some bemused Bulgarians to “stand back”. The man who sold bus tickets thought he knew all about the white cane, but he was in for a treat. Aaron jumper clasped him by the shoulders and explained in more Les Dawson whispers, point and wink tones, that like the QEII, I was approaching. On the bus, I could sense him looking at me. It's the strangest feeling to know you are being observed, scrutinised. I got out my phone to check the train times. Aaron jumper said, ‘You can see then”. Praise be that he didn't say it was a miracle. “Yes” I said. There was a long pause and he said, “But not much”. In a kind of “I was right all along” tone. When we tipped off the bus at the railway station I suggested that he go first in case he missed his last train. At the ticket barrier he told an unsuspecting woman, in a high viz jacket, that he'd been helping me but he had to run for his train. “Go on” he commanded her. There was no more pointing a winking. “That lady's blind,” he yelped. “She can't see a dam thing.” Less she should be in any doubt he gave her a good shove in my general direction. There were raised voices, a tussle. I didn't hang around. I hope he got his train alright. On the platform I busied myself with a little bit of eaves dropping on a conversation about one woman's love affair with cigarettes. Call me paranoid, but they'll get her in the end.
Bernie Clifton is a much loved Variety Comedian who has spent his hard earned money and time investing in the best and biggest props in the business from working the Summer Seasons, the best variety Shows in Television history, Pantomimes and now Facebook sharing his stories. Bernie talks about his time on his latest TV exposure on 'The Voice' and 'Last Laugh in Vegas' where he was introduced to another generation of fans and in his 8th decade there are no signs of him stopping, slowing down maybe but not stopping.Bernie is a complete pleasure to know and todays chat is a Box of Delights that had me laughing nearly all the way through. Until I edited it today, I actually forgot how much I laughed during the recording.Now its your turn, welcome to Eyes & Teeth - the Water rats, Bernie Clifton
In this week's episode, former L.E. Controller at I.T.V. Mark Wells picks up from where we left off: working with Princes Charles, Harry and William, getting a ‘put down' from Prince Philip, and moving on to definitive documentaries featuring many of the best-loved stars in British comedy. Steam, Smoke & Mirrors Theme music composed by John Orchard and arranged by Ian English Facebook: colin.edmonds.73 Instagram: colinedmondsssm Twitter:@ColinEdmondsSSM Website: https://www.steamsmokeandmirrors.com/ Buy Steam, Smoke and Mirrors Available at Caffeine Nights Available at Amazon Available on Audible Buy The Lazarus Curiosity: Steam, Smoke and Mirrors 2 Available at Caffeine Nights Available at Amazon Available on Audible Buy The Nostradamus Curiosity: Steam, Smoke and Mirrors 3 Available at Caffeine Nights Available at Amazon
Barry Cryer is perhaps best known as a panelist on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue on BBC Radio 4 but his career is so much more than that. Amongst other things, too many to mention, he has written for Dave Allen, Stanley Baxter, Jack Benny, Rory Bremner, George Burns, Jasper Carrott, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Dick Emery, Kenny Everett, Sir Bruce Forsyth, Sir David Frost, Bob Hope, Frankie Howerd, Richard Pryor, Spike Milligan, Mike Yarwood, The Two Ronnies and Morecambe and Wise. Barry Cryer is guest number 104 on My Time Capsule and chats to Michael Fenton Stevens about the five things he'd like to put in a time capsule; four he'd like to preserve and one he'd like to bury and never have to think about again .Follow My Time Capsule on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook: @MyTCpod .Follow Michael Fenton Stevens on Twitter: @fentonstevens & Instagram @mikefentonstevens .Produced and edited by John Fenton-Stevens for Cast Off Productions .Music by Pass The Peas Music .Artwork by Matthew Boxall .Social media support by Harriet Stevens .This podcast is proud to be associated with the charity Viva! Providing theatrical opportunities for hundreds of young people. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Barry Cryer is perhaps best known as a panelist on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue on BBC Radio 4 but his career is so much more than that. Amongst other things, too many to mention, he has written for Dave Allen, Stanley Baxter, Jack Benny, Rory Bremner, George Burns, Jasper Carrott, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Dick Emery, Kenny Everett, Sir Bruce Forsyth, Sir David Frost, Bob Hope, Frankie Howerd, Richard Pryor, Spike Milligan, Mike Yarwood, The Two Ronnies and Morecambe and Wise. Barry Cryer is guest number 104 on My Time Capsule and chats to Michael Fenton Stevens about the five things he'd like to put in a time capsule; four he'd like to preserve and one he'd like to bury and never have to think about again .Follow My Time Capsule on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook: @MyTCpod .Follow Michael Fenton Stevens on Twitter: @fentonstevens & Instagram @mikefentonstevens .Produced and edited by John Fenton-Stevens for Cast Off Productions .Music by Pass The Peas Music .Artwork by Matthew Boxall .Social media support by Harriet Stevens .This podcast is proud to be associated with the charity Viva! Providing theatrical opportunities for hundreds of young people. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode, I talk to the comedy legend BARRY CRYER about his comedy career. Barry Cryer is an English writer, comedian and actor. He has written for many major comedians that are feature in my blog including Morecambe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Bob Monkhouse, Frankie Howerd, Bruce Forsyth, Kenny Everett, Richard Pryor and Spike Milligan. I have watched many of his shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and he is a master at constructing and delivering a joke. Since 1972, he has been a regular panellist on BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and is frequently on TV talking about comedy on various shows including fronting Comedy Legends on Sky Arts. It was an honour and a pleasure talking to the great comedian. Thank you so much for listening to my podcast, if you like what you hear, please subscribe and I hope you enjoy the interview. Please read Barry Cryer's blog at: www.arichcomiclife.blog Barry Cryer's Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BarryCryerScrapbook/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/barrycryer80
Impressionist Jon Culshaw does his take on Toby…and Toby’s not too happy about it!
Jon Courtenay The Winner of Britain's Got Talent 2020 and Star of this years Royal Variety Performance joins me to talk about his grafting leading up to his most prestigious year yet.Jon has worked Warner Hotels, QE2 and all at Cunard and the most luxurious of Cruise Ships around the World and has stories to tell and he tells me a few today.Enjoy Jon's story and my own experience with early talent Shows when i started out.
Mike Lancaster has opened for the stars for over 40 years, he knows the business inside out and is not afraid to stand in front of 10 people or 10,000 people and make them laugh. Listen to his stories of backstage, on stage and about different stages through his career as we chat during lockdown one.
With Declan set to leave Wire, the podcast desperately tries to sell off Patton merchandise. The monetisation doesn’t stop there though, with Rob pushing for a sponsorship deal that ‘plumbs’ new depths. Dennis‘ Tackle Bags is distracted by breaking news. Sam calculates how many replicas of him make up the energy of one Mamo. And is Samy Kibula’s body shape the same as Les Dawson’s lead dancer or a Henry Moore statue? Plus, on the set of Rimmer’s Lot, Ben Murdoch Masila drops by to complete his vacuuming certificate diploma. Enjoy.
This time the gang get into the blanking classic that is 'Blankety Blank'. But with so much to cover, we've decided to make it a two-parter! In this second part, we go into more detail about the episode of 'Blankety Blank' we watched, whether we rank it Top, Middle or Bottom and play another round of Bev's Quiz Quiz. Along the way we learn how to impersonate Sir Michael Caine properly, how to lead a better life (#BeMoreMelville) and that Matt might actually hate game shows... If you haven't already, be sure to listen to Part 1, which is available now. This is the episode of 'Blankety Blank' we watched for this show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1pGb5b-ecI And for those who want to dig a little deeper, we also watched this episode hosted by Les Dawson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM-gJcnJgjY&t=882s) and these two clips from when Lily Savage was the host (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HERQLsfGEe4 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvocjD67DVE) Like us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Twitter Subscribe to our YouTube channel Email us Artwork by Ian Jones
This time the gang get into the blanking classic that is 'Blankety Blank'. But with so much to cover, we've decided to make it a two-parter! In this first part, we learn a lot about the classic theme tune (and a fair bit on Eurovision too), as well as the holy trinity of hosts that was Sir Terry Wogan, Les Dawson & Lily Savage. Along the way we also hear about why Dobson dislikes North Wales so much, the surprising show Les Dawson may have starred in and grave diggers doing the 'YMCA'. This is the episode of 'Blankety Blank' we watched for this show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1pGb5b-ecI And for those who want to dig a little deeper, we also watched this episode hosted by Les Dawson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM-gJcnJgjY&t=882s) and these two clips from when Lily Savage was the host (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HERQLsfGEe4 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvocjD67DVE) Like us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Twitter Subscribe to our YouTube channel Email us Artwork by Ian Jones
A doctor of neuroscience by training and a former Royal Society fellow at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Rachel Genn's debut novel The Cure was published by Corsair in 2011. Her second novel, What You Could Have Won, is due for publication in 2020 by Sheffield-based publisher And Other Stories. She teaches creative writing MA programmes at Sheffield and the Manchester Writing School. Keith Hutson's much anticipated debut collection, Baldwin's Catholic Geese, was published to acclaim by Bloodaxe in 2019. A prolific comedy writer for stand-ups including Les Dawson and Frankie Howerd and a scriptwriter for Coronation Street, Keith has had more than 150 poems published in journals and anthologies. His pamphlet, Troupers, was selected by Carol Ann Duffy as a Laureate's Choice publication.
Joining us on Get The Scoop this week is none other than self-confessed drama queen and Ex on The Beach babe, Charlotte Dawson. As part of her ‘too glam to give a damn’ mantra, Charlotte blesses us with the chuffin’ best love advice when it comes to finding your other half and equally, when it comes to loving ourselves. With an infectious chuckle and positive bounce in her step (and her perfectly blow-dried hair), Charlotte talks us through her plans for the future, and what it’s like being the daughter of famous comedian, the late Les Dawson (plus the story behind that infamous tattoo)!
Les Dawson plays the piano as he accompanies the club owner with his reflections on last season. The Andrew Henderson interview is interrupted by Wire’s new sponsor, and which legendary Warrington player has the biggest girth? Plus there’s a review of all the players, including the collective noun for each position. Madame Boyd divulges a surprising prediction, as Sam prepares to take Mrs Sankey up the CN Tower. Rob’s pre-season is scuppered by getting married for a 5th time, but it’s overshadowed by Dennis’ lack of conditioning, as he reports back to the podcast a stone heavier than Kevin Ward.
We're back with a fresh Alan attack, peeking at your feedback and mostly answering that. Including: Steve Coogan's (narrowly-avoided) driving ban, the forthcoming Partridge series, the real Simon Denton, long drawn out affairs, and, inexplicably, Les Dawson
This week we review - Listen To Les (From 18th November 1979)If You Can’t Laugh At Your Troubles Then Laugh At His, As You ….. Listen To LesListen To Les was a long running BBC Radio series starring the late great Les Dawson. Very little information about the series exists, although it’s regularly repeated on BBC Radio 4 Extra.As far as we can ascertain the show ran for ten series between 1975 and 1985, although we have been unable to completely verify this.Listen To Les was a sketch show in which Les Dawson performed various deadpan monologues and recurring character sketches.These included “At Home with the Desponds”, “The Sophisticates” and “Cissy and Ada”Every show would end with Dawson calling upon the studio audience to join him in a singalong with a popular or classic song, which he would deliberately play badly at the piano.In this episode, Les presents 'Love in the Dole Queue' and meet Cosmo Smallpiece. With Daphne Oxenford and Colin Edwynn.Music by Brian Fitzgerald.First broadcast on BBC Radio 2 in November 1979.Scripted and produced by James Casey.A BBC ProductionListen To Les is available to buy here: https://bbc.in/2mGHd1MThe Comedy Slab Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spreaker, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, Spotify and Youtube.Subscribe for a new episode each Monday.Get in touch - we're @ComedySlab on Twitter and ComedySlab on Facebook.
Pete chats to Tracy Dawson who was married to comedian Les Dawson in the first of a special selection of interviews from the archives.
Mais um episódio do nosso podcast, falando sobre piadas curtas, ou "one lines", os maiores comediantes one liners da história e quem está fazendo bem esse tipo de comédia no país. Se você não conhece Rodney Dangerfield, Les Dawson, Mitch Hedberg, Steven Wright, ouça esse episódio que você vai curtir! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/podcastcomedia/message
Hello space fans and fellow mutants to the latest podcast from Moon Ben Baker and Phil "G-Balls" Catterall! In this one: sub-par superheroes, Royal Variety rave ups and strange stuff shot into space (but not necessarily stayed there...) Plus: the majesty of Les Dawson, hero Bottle Opener makes his debut, American puppets, we find out what the Brittas Empire cast were up to in 1996, the real true story of Laika the dog, a big net, Obnoxio The Clown spoils Dark Phoenix, disco dies, we all give thanks for Gary Wilmot, making work for the beeper, where Jasper Carrott fits into Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, 36000 worms, "Beak", not very much about sport....and UGLY JOHN! If you would like to support our new Patreon from less than a pound a month and get an exclusive, not found anywhere else episode of "Don't Lets Chart" plus early access to others, click here: https://www.patreon.com/dontletschart Or if you just fancy throwing the price of a coffee in our faces: https://ko-fi.com/dontletschart Visit the new Don't Lets Chart Twitter feed: @dontletschart or visit us separately @benbakerbooks and @fil5000.
Emily Oldfield is hotly-tipped young writer and poet whose work has been described as weird, dark and wonderful. She is currently an editor at Haunt Manchester, and is a researcher on the Writing Manchester map. She is working on her first pamphlet. Keith Hutson's much anticipated debut collection, Baldwin's Catholic Geese, was published to acclaim by Bloodaxe this year. A prolific comedy writer for stand-ups including Les Dawson and Frankie Howerd and a scriptwriter for Coronation Street, Keith has had more than 150 poems published in journals and anthologies. His pamphlet, Troopers, was selected by Carol Ann Duffy as a Laureate's Choice publication.
Mike, Ray & Colin discuss City v Newport, Les Dawson, Ian Cheeseman & so much more! Get it!
There is a move afoot to cease sending people to prison for sentences less than 6 months.....naturally this has been received with mixed opinions......but unless you have been closely involved with the prison system....having either been inside or knowing someone who has it is impossible to know what it's like.....it's very easy to say "they deserve it" but everyone is different......whereas one criminal may be non-violent another may be the opposite....and you can't legislate for the latter as they are probably incurable. 2.I watched a programme on Les Dawson's life.....it simply showed what a comedy genius he was....and there was another programme on Bob Monkhouse....again a very clever man.....it's such a shame that stand up comedy has lost its way.....however it hasn't completely vanished as we still have the likes of "Would I Lie to you" and "Room 101" with the likes of Frank Skinner....Lee Mac and Rob Brydon who are very funny so there is still hope......and speaking of comedy someone put a picture of Prince Edward sitting with his wife in a horse drawn carriage with a long line of medals on his chest.....it was suggested he must have had an exciting time in very short time he was in the Marines.......surely this could be construed as impersonating a soldier?....still I suppose his mum loves him. 3.Forget the problems throughout the world.....the news headlines have been taken over by Andy Murray's sore hip.....he was interviewed and broke down in tears.....it could be the end of his career!!!!....what will he do??....apart from joining the overpaid TV pundit fraternity...and perhaps opening a tennis school...not to mention making TV adverts...and putting his name to tennis gear....what will he do?....oh I feel so sorry for the poor chap............................and on the subject of TV there is a new programme called "The Greatest Dancer" which is another past it's sell by date format.....the programme is bad enough with the talentless Cheryl Cole on the judging panel but on come these hopefuls who want to become dancing stars with the camera shot constantly flitting between them and the judges and the audience....so the viewer misses most of the moves.....the producer should go back to taking holiday snaps.....same old tripe. 4.As I said last week we are a nation of moaners and complainers yet most people don't know what REAL problems are.....I support an organisation called The Cheshire Cats which is based in Wallasey in Wirral and we raise money for sick and underprivileged kids through our weekly jam sessions.........a collection of vintage rockers from the 60s play rock and roll classics to an enthusiastic loyal crowd and all the money raised goes to various charities.....we have recently given £3000 to a children's hospice called Claire House on Wirral which will make a difference to youngsters lives.......it is one of many donations we have made to them over the years.....when you visit the likes of these places with the wonderful staff you realise the THESE are REAL problems......maybe the moaners should pop in some time....they might learn something. 5.The song this week is one which has been very kind to me.....it is called "Googi The Liverpool Duck" .... it was written for a friend of mine called Penny Page.....who had a ventriloquist act with a very colourful duck.....back in he day my band was sharing a gig with her...she was then known as "Peppy and The Popettes".....Googi being one of the Popettes....and I told her that the duck was the star of her show and I'll knock a song together for her and Googi.........I did this (in a very short time) and gave it to her... four years later she presented me with the record she had made of the song.....she performed it on The Palladium and it was featured in a film alled "Priest" sung by a church choir......all from a chance meeting at a gig.
There is a move afoot to cease sending people to prison for sentences less than 6 months.....naturally this has been received with mixed opinions......but unless you have been closely involved with the prison system....having either been inside or knowing someone who has it is impossible to know what it's like.....it's very easy to say "they deserve it" but everyone is different......whereas one criminal may be non-violent another may be the opposite....and you can't legislate for the latter as they are probably incurable. 2.I watched a programme on Les Dawson's life.....it simply showed what a comedy genius he was....and there was another programme on Bob Monkhouse....again a very clever man.....it's such a shame that stand up comedy has lost its way.....however it hasn't completely vanished as we still have the likes of "Would I Lie to you" and "Room 101" with the likes of Frank Skinner....Lee Mac and Rob Brydon who are very funny so there is still hope......and speaking of comedy someone put a picture of Prince Edward sitting with his wife in a horse drawn carriage with a long line of medals on his chest.....it was suggested he must have had an exciting time in very short time he was in the Marines.......surely this could be construed as impersonating a soldier?....still I suppose his mum loves him. 3.Forget the problems throughout the world.....the news headlines have been taken over by Andy Murray's sore hip.....he was interviewed and broke down in tears.....it could be the end of his career!!!!....what will he do??....apart from joining the overpaid TV pundit fraternity...and perhaps opening a tennis school...not to mention making TV adverts...and putting his name to tennis gear....what will he do?....oh I feel so sorry for the poor chap............................and on the subject of TV there is a new programme called "The Greatest Dancer" which is another past it's sell by date format.....the programme is bad enough with the talentless Cheryl Cole on the judging panel but on come these hopefuls who want to become dancing stars with the camera shot constantly flitting between them and the judges and the audience....so the viewer misses most of the moves.....the producer should go back to taking holiday snaps.....same old tripe. 4.As I said last week we are a nation of moaners and complainers yet most people don't know what REAL problems are.....I support an organisation called The Cheshire Cats which is based in Wallasey in Wirral and we raise money for sick and underprivileged kids through our weekly jam sessions.........a collection of vintage rockers from the 60s play rock and roll classics to an enthusiastic loyal crowd and all the money raised goes to various charities.....we have recently given £3000 to a children's hospice called Claire House on Wirral which will make a difference to youngsters lives.......it is one of many donations we have made to them over the years.....when you visit the likes of these places with the wonderful staff you realise the THESE are REAL problems......maybe the moaners should pop in some time....they might learn something. 5.The song this week is one which has been very kind to me.....it is called "Googi The Liverpool Duck" .... it was written for a friend of mine called Penny Page.....who had a ventriloquist act with a very colourful duck.....back in he day my band was sharing a gig with her...she was then known as "Peppy and The Popettes".....Googi being one of the Popettes....and I told her that the duck was the star of her show and I'll knock a song together for her and Googi.........I did this (in a very short time) and gave it to her... four years later she presented me with the record she had made of the song.....she performed it on The Palladium and it was featured in a film alled "Priest" sung by a church choir......all from a chance meeting at a gig.
Iain Lee's live on talkRADIO between 10pm-1am Monday to Fridays but, if for some inexplicable reason you miss the show, you can get the best bits every day right here.Or, to be absolutely certain you don't miss out, subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In conversation with celebrated Comedy Writer and Novelist, Colin Edmonds who has worked with the cream of British Entertainment in a long and distinguished career including Bob Monkhouse, Les Dawson and Terry Wogan. To find out more information about this and my other interviews, please go to my website: www.beyondthetitle.co.uk www.facebook.com/beyondthetitle
Ep 39 - Overcoming The Fear of Rejection -------------------------------------------- In this episode, I talk about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I also tell you a story about how meeting Les Dawson, the comedian & game show host, helped me in my sales career! Check out my Reveiwer of the Week, Mark Shaw’s website: The website is www.markshaw.biz On Twitter he's www.twitter.com/markshaw *********************** Ways to connect with me: I’ve recorded a video especially for you here: www.dickiespodcast.com ► Subscribe to my YouTube Channel http://www.bit.ly/dickiesubscribe Website: www.armour.marketing Corre Energy: www.corre.energy Twitter: www.twitter.com/dickiearmour LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dickiearmour Instagram: www.instagram.com/dickiearmour My Books ======= My crime thriller “The Habit” https://www.amazon.co.uk/Habit-Richard-Armour-ebook/dp/B009HC4U08 My business book “31 Mistakes Every Online Business Makes” http://www.31mistakes.co.uk My new sales book “Where’s The Buffalo?” http://www.wheresthebuffalo.com
Whether it's actually possible for a piano to drink or not, it is totally conceivable that a podcast can be hosted by creampuff fencepost-IQ mental midgets, and here they are with another episode of Song by Song. As Martin, Sam and Lucy peel back the layers of writing on this track, comparing it to the comic genius of Les Dawson as well as Waits's own singing persona, the question arises as to whether this is a quick gag, or a deeper exploration of many other themes. Song by Song is Martin Zaltz Austwick and Sam Pay; two musicians listening to and discussing every single Tom Waits track in chronological order. website: songbysongpodcast.com twitter: @songbysongpod e-mail: songbysongpodcast@gmail.com Music extracts used for illustrative/review purposes include: The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) (An Evening with Pete King), Small Change, Tom Waits (1976) Les Dawson plays The Entertainer, via YouTube, Les Dawson (1984) We think your Song by Song experience will be enhanced by hearing, in full, the songs featured in the show, which you can get hold of from your favourite record shop or online platform. Please support artists by buying their music, or using services which guarantee artists a revenue - listen responsibly.
Robert Ross and his audience are entertained by the 'butterfly mind' of living comedy legend Barry Cryer. The I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue star recalls stories from his enviable, long, and wildly varied career, writing and performing both with and for stars like Dick Emery, The Two Ronnies, Les Dawson, The Pythons, Kenny Everett and Morecambe & Wise. This episode is definitely not to be missed!
From The Two Ronnies to Blackadder…from Benny Hill to Marty Feldman… the golden years of British television comedy produced some of the funniest shows and larger-than-life characters the world has ever seen. Garry’s guest tonight COLIN EDMONDS has dominated British television comedy writing for four decades – and he knew them all… the stars, the monsters, the legends and the lunatics! Click to buy from Amazon If names such as Les Dawson, Lilly Savage, Paul Daniels, Julian Clary, Barbara Windsor and – of course – Bob Monkhouse – evoke fond memories… then you’re going to love tonight’s show! Of course, the tradition of bawdy British comedy goes right back to the world of the music hall… from which Colin draws his inspiration for his new novel, Steam, Smoke & Mirrors: with insights and extracts from the secret journals of Professor Artemus More PhD (Cantab) FRS. Set in a Steampunk vision of Victorian Britain Steam, Smoke & Mirrors is “Victorian science fiction”, says Colin: “It’s so sexy! Men in top hats and women in thigh-length boots! Steampunk is on a roll!” >>>>>> Download the show as mp3 file Subscribe in iTunes
From The Two Ronnies to Blackadder…from Benny Hill to Marty Feldman… the golden years of British television comedy produced some of the funniest shows and larger-than-life characters the world has ever seen. Garry’s guest tonight COLIN EDMONDS has dominated British television comedy writing for four decades – and he knew them all… the stars, the monsters, the legends and the lunatics! Click to buy from Amazon If names such as Les Dawson, Lilly Savage, Paul Daniels, Julian Clary, Barbara Windsor and – of course – Bob Monkhouse – evoke fond memories… then you’re going to love tonight’s show! Of course, the tradition of bawdy British comedy goes right back to the world of the music hall… from which Colin draws his inspiration for his new novel, Steam, Smoke & Mirrors: with insights and extracts from the secret journals of Professor Artemus More PhD (Cantab) FRS. Set in a Steampunk vision of Victorian Britain Steam, Smoke & Mirrors is “Victorian science fiction”, says Colin: “It’s so sexy! Men in top hats and women in thigh-length boots! Steampunk is on a roll!” >>>>>> Download the show as mp3 file Subscribe in iTunes
Garry is joined in the studio by the award-winning stand-up comedian John Moloney (twice won Best Live Performer at the London Comedy Festival) whose four-part Radio 4 series The John Moloney Show kicks off on Tuesday 12th May. Influenced by Les Dawson, Dave Allen, The Jam and West Ham United, John’s stand-up comedy is a finely crafted blend of wordplay, one-liners and cat molesting. His radio producer says that observing him at work is “like watching a masterclass unfold. He’s like a conductor and the audience is his orchestra.” Born in on the fringes of East London in Ilford, a part of Essex where he says “a man feels over-dressed if he has two ears”, ex-teacher Moloney is now the driving force behind the acclaimed Balham Comedy Festival which returns in July. He has strong and perhaps unexpected views on class, comedy and stadium comedians, and a background in traditional Irish music. The Balham Comedy Festival runs from the 10th to the 18th of July this year... click here for full programme and booking! >>>>>> Download the show as mp3 file Subscribe in iTunes
Garry is joined in the studio by the award-winning stand-up comedian John Moloney (twice won Best Live Performer at the London Comedy Festival) whose four-part Radio 4 series The John Moloney Show kicks off on Tuesday 12th May. Influenced by Les Dawson, Dave Allen, The Jam and West Ham United, John’s stand-up comedy is a finely crafted blend of wordplay, one-liners and cat molesting. His radio producer says that observing him at work is “like watching a masterclass unfold. He’s like a conductor and the audience is his orchestra.” Born in on the fringes of East London in Ilford, a part of Essex where he says “a man feels over-dressed if he has two ears”, ex-teacher Moloney is now the driving force behind the acclaimed Balham Comedy Festival which returns in July. He has strong and perhaps unexpected views on class, comedy and stadium comedians, and a background in traditional Irish music. The Balham Comedy Festival runs from the 10th to the 18th of July this year... click here for full programme and booking! >>>>>> Download the show as mp3 file Subscribe in iTunes
Cissie & Ada is a brand-new comedy play based on Les Dawson’s comic TV characters starring two former Coronation Street favourites Eric Potts (Diggory) and Steven Arnold (Ashley). Steve Nallon (famous for his Mrs Thatcher impersonation live and on Spitting Image) and actress Natasha Magigi join the cast to revisit the story and the culture behind the side-splitting sketches and that of BBC Light Entertainment in the 80’s as well as bringing Dawson and Barraclough’s comedy genius back to life. Written by playwright Graham Warrener in collaboration with original Cissie and Ada scriptwriter Terry Ravenscroft and directed by John-Jackson Almond.
RHEFP 2013 #19: Peacock and Gamble and Dana Alexander - Double Bumhole. Richard is concerned about all the people calling him 'The Spirit of the Fringe' this year. Come on people, that's for the corporate awards committees to decide, not you. He's tired out and dreaming of dangerous balloon rides with derivative double acts. And then his dreams come partly true as Proctor and Gamble arrive. The talk starts with bumholes and descends from there. Find out about Peacock's Muppet collection, his love of Les Dawson and a synopsis of his appearance on Doctors. Gamble chats about having a non-functioning pancreas, his love of the work of Richard Herring and how Peacock groomed him. Both of them admit that Richard is much better at comedy and podcasting than them and agree to retire. With stand-up from Dana Alexander. It's the last Tuesday! Hooray!
The Westlife lads tell us how they ended up in the Royal one night after a silly accident, Les Dawson makes the Co chuckle, Marvin from JLS chats about the MOBO's and listen to our Craic @ Dawn clip as many times as you want.
Roy Plomley's castaway is comedian Les Dawson.Favourite track: Pavane Pour Une Infante Defunte by Maurice Ravel Book: Trustee From The Toolroom by Nevil Shute Luxury: Piece of Georgian furniture
Roy Plomley's castaway is comedian Les Dawson. Favourite track: Pavane Pour Une Infante Defunte by Maurice Ravel Book: Trustee From The Toolroom by Nevil Shute Luxury: Piece of Georgian furniture