Jonah Asks

Father and six year-old read DC Comics Origin Stories. 1. Batman2. Poison Ivy (10:20)3. Superman (20:21)music credits:"Batman Theme" for original Batman TV seriescomposed by Neal Heftihttps://www.allmusic.com/album/batman-original-tv-soundtrack--mw0000205464"Poison Ivy theme"From the Batman and Robin film.Poison Ivy's theme songcomposed by Eliot Goldenthal"One More Diamond/The Ball""Superman Theme"composed by John Williamsperformed by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestrafor the film, Superman 2007https://www.allmusic.com/album/movie-legends-the-music-of-john-williams-mw0002711518

This episode starts with thoughts before Game 6 of the NBA's Eastern Conference Finals between the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat, then includes thoughts before Game 7 and concludes with post-game thoughts and reflections on how to think about the season as a whole.Fandom is often suffering, but I'll choose it over apathy anytime. music:"Bonita Applebaum" by A Tribe Called Quest, 1990.

After dropping the first three games in the NBA's Eastern Conference Finals, the Boston Celtics have stormed back to force Game 6 against the Miami Heat (Saturday night).Here are my thoughts on Boston's resurgence, staying present and not getting ahead of ourselves in life. In the middle of this episode, I read an excerpt from David Hollander's riveting book "How Basketball Can Save the World: Thirteen Guiding Principles for Reimagining What's Possible" by David Hollander. I read from the chapter "Basketball as Human Alchemy"Openingmusic: Digable Planets "Rebirth of Slick," 1993clip: Monty Python and the Holy Grail "I'm Not Dead Yet"(09:35-15:30)excerpt from Professor David Hollander's book, "How Basketball Can Save the World: Thirteen Guiding Principles for Reimagining What's Possible" by David Hollander. On Basketball as Human Alchemy."Basketball's human alchemy is an advanced concept like the brain's neuroplasticity. When, like basketball, we are thrown together with the right people and meet the right circumstances and conditions, everyone becomes their new and better selves." Boston, Miami and Denver - NBA Playoffs - teams displaying that alchemy, connectedness and trust. (15:30-19:00)To buy Hollander's book, click here:https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-basketball-can-save-the-world-13-guiding-principles-for-reimagining-what-s-possible-david-hollander/18133439Check out TrueHoop's podcast, where Henry Abbott interviewed David Hollander--which is how I came across this book.https://omny.fm/shows/bring-it-in/how-basketball-can-save-the-world-author-david-hol?in_playlist=podcast

A short episode. Thoughts on Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat. Collecting thoughts on what make the Miami Heat so good, and after a demoralizing effort for the Celtics in Game 3. music clip, "All Blues" by Ron Carter

A short episode devoted to the NBA Playoffs. Thoughts on Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat. Included: clip from Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla, speaking during his post-game press conference. 

Music. It soothes me. I've been playing guitar and singing and adding reverb and echo and tremolo here and there. It's fun to sing songs I've known for most of my life. Here are 11 covers and 2 originals at the end.  Acoustic guitar and vocals recorded within the last six months. Tracks:1. Hey Hey My My (Into the Black) by Neil Young length: 3:46timestamp: 3:462. Heart of Gold by Neil Younglength: 4:46 timestamp: 8:333. Horse With No Name by Americalength: 6:54timestamp: 15:284. Don't You Forget About Me by Simple Minds (Breakfast Club soundtrack)length: 8:44timestamp: 24:135. Everybody Have Fun Tonight by Wang Chunglength: 6:06timestamp: 30:206. Wordless Chorus by My Morning Jacketlength: 5:46timestamp: 36:077. I Will Sing You Songs by My Morning Jacketlength: 3:31timestamp: 39:398. Death is the Easy Way by My Morning Jacketlength: 6:24timestamp: 46:049. Time Has Told Me by Nick Drakelength: 5:11timestamp: 51:1510. Once in a Lifetime by The Talking Headslength: 9:18timestamp: 60:3411. Cerrito Shuffle by melength: 3:48timestamp: 64:2312. Tablatale (instrumental with tabla sample from samplefocus.com) by melength: 4:43

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks,Here's part two of my conversation with Moshe. We discuss: attention, social media, happiness and mental suffering, the human species and biology, artificial intelligence, universal basic income and the future. music: This instrumental piece is an original of mine, based around a piano recording, added effects and then a sampled cello and atmospheric pad loop from samplefocus.com. You can find it on my other podcast, Poems, Guitar and Meditations.https://player.fm/series/poems-guitar-and-meditations/piano-cello-atmospheric-loop-for-sleepParentingBalancing the desire to give attention and support with the need to step back and observe young children. 6 minAttention and FocusMaintaining attention amidst the wave of information and social media's impact.10 minMoshe Chooses HappinessMental suffering - Mental suffering was rampant in Moshe's family. Moshe's aunt was a Holocaust survivor. On her deathbed, her son asked her "Was everything so bad?" She responded, "There were some good things, but we don't talk about that." Happiness seemed unavailable to many who lived through and survived the Holocaust. Moshe has atrial fibrillation. He has to be careful with his heart. Too much stress with atrial fibrillation can lead to stroke. 20 minProgress of the Human SpeciesMoshe is a firm believer in the progress and survival of the human species. "I'm not arguing with the universe. I will argue with reality. My optimism is based on the possibility that the evils of capitalism the way we know it and the development of artificial intelligence and other technologies will force mankind to develop a new paradigm and new understanding of how society should work. 28 minConsidering the Future: 2050 and BeyondWe veer into the future, the impact of artificial intelligence, the possibility of Universal Basic Income, etc. We disagree about how humans will evolve. 37 minTechnology and Techno-UtopianismMoshe sees human progress as an inevitability. Jonah sees human connection as a practice that has been eroding in modern life. 42 minBiology Isn't Bothered By Our Obsession with Technology...or Is It?Moshe believes in biology. Jonah believes in our biological need to make connections. Resources:New Yorker "Two Supreme Court Cases That Could Break the Internet"https://www.newyorker.com/news/q-and-a/two-supreme-court-cases-that-could-break-the-internetTristan Harris - Center for Humane Techhttps://www.humanetech.com/who-we-are

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks,Moshe is my neighbor. He is a modern philosopher, with an optimistic outlook, having trained himself in positive psychology. He was born in Israel in 1951 and came to New York City in the early 1970s, before returning to Israel and then eventually landing in the Bay Area. music: Neil Cowley "Eureka Pulse"3 minPositive PsychologyMoshe discusses his study of positive psychology and choosing his own personal happiness and well-being. "Wanting to be happy is a license that I acquired in my years. There is a methodology for it and I think I got. At this point it works for me and I am good with that. I was a sad Jew."9 minSpirituality and Identity Going beyond the self. Fighting to define yourself rather than be defined by a given identity.12 minMoshe's Family History Parents leaving Poland and arriving in Israel during the 1930s. Cold and superstitious places. Pogroms and then the Holocaust. Moshe's father came to Palestine in the mid 1930s, with many Jewish immigrants. Moshe's mother escaped Poland in 1938 via train through Germany, before taking a ship from Trieste to Palestine. 17 minMiddle Eastern history and Moshe's parents. Palestine and the creation of Israel in 1949.23 minMemoryJonah discusses memory and writing. Moshe has been studying philosophy and psychology. He discusses the biological need to recall negative experiences for survival.26 minBeing Jewish Israeli experience compared with suburban American experiencesMoshe explains how the history of Jewish oppression informs the Israeli pride in Judaism.Jonah's mother's childhood: Secular Jews in suburban DC (late '40s into early '60s)32 minPain versus SufferingMoshe discusses Yuval Noah Harari's ideas about pain versus suffering. Pain is contemporary and neurological event. Suffering is spread over time and is often a speculative psychological event.37 minMoshe wrote to Professor Sapolsky, who studies stress. 39 minMoshe in New York City, 1973Moshe was released from Israeli military service in 1973 and found his way to New York City. 43 minMoshe Meets His First Wife, TinaCouch-surfing, squatting, and getting by. Figuring out how to live in the United States, with a tourist visa.A wild pack of cats and a smelly small apartment in New York City.47 minMoshe and Tina move to Somerville, MA then back to Israel then ChildrenFrom New York to "Slummerville." Tina had to hide the relationship from her strict Jewish mother. Eventually, they moved back to Israel and had children. Later, they moved to the Bay Area, in part to get medical treatment for their son, who had a kidney situation.  53 minDivorce and a New Marriage After 19 years of marriage and two children, Moshe discovers Carla at his child's preschool. "I saw this beautiful woman working with a jackhammer, breaking the asphalt."61 minMoshe Is Afraid of Helplessness (Like Many of Us) Through much of his life, Moshe has prized self-sufficiency. He understands this as a reaction to his mother's helplessness.  In his later years, he has accepted the deep love of his second wife and attachment. Many thanks to Moshe for the wonderful conversation. Stay tuned for Part 2, coming soon.Links:Yuval Harari's TED talkshttps://www.ted.com/speakers/yuval_noah_harariPositive Psychology TED talkshttps://positivepsychology.com/positive-psychology-ted-talks/

Welcome back to Jonah Asks,In this episode, Jonah Reads.Jack London's "To Build a Fire" (1908). A classic story of a man and a husky traversing the Yukon in winter.It helps to keep in mind the story was written in 1908.

Instead of an interview, this episode is dedicated to dogs, as heard from their point of view, not us silly humans. Two short fictions -- both full of action, love of the natural world and humor. Both were pleasures to read. The first story, written by Dave Eggers, is "After I Was Thrown in the River and Before I Drowned" (2004, from the story collection How We Are Hungry). The second story is by the renowned short story master O' Henry. "Memoirs of a Yellow Dog" was written in 1903. The dialogue is full of colloquial wordplay...from 1903. If you'd like to read these stories (while listening), here are the links:After I Was Thrown in the River and Before I Drownedhttps://www.ndsu.edu/pubweb/~cinichol/CreativeWriting/323Online/Eggers%20after-i-was-thrown.pdf?fbclid=IwAR3fFuJLdFqmT_9sXpXhH4ZMpARyP4AVFToU_qko9b1CUDXdiVzHJpEw0J4Memoirs of a Yellow Doghttps://americanliterature.com/author/o-henry/short-story/memoirs-of-a-yellow-dog

Welcome back to Jonah Asks,Noah Perkins is a terrific sports journalist, a dedicated and proud father, a sandwich lover, and a native of Cambridge, Massachusetts. Like me, Noah loves basketball and is a child of divorce. Unlike me, Noah experienced profound loss at a young age. His dad died in a tragic accident when he was 14 and his mom died years later in a car accident. Like me, Noah moved to California and became a father a few years ago. We discuss the following topics:  family (divorce, family history) fathers (masculinity, psychology, connection, vulnerability) dealing with grief schooling (personal experience and considering education in general) parenting (connection, anxiety, attachment, identity) anxiety (how anxiety is passed down and how we deal with it as adults) technology (screen life versus real life) NBA (Celtics, Warriors, the schedule) sandwiches (Noah's Top 3) music"The Bottom of It" Fruit Batshttps://fruit-bats.bandcamp.com/album/gold-past-life"Reckoner" Radiohead (From the Basement session)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9rN9eY2hRcNoah's writing:https://muckrack.com/noah-perkinsNoah on Twitter:https://twitter.com/NoahZZPerkinsOpeningHolidaysWe discuss navigating the holidays as a parent. Noah has a 22-month-old daughter and is trying to balance his old self with his new parent self. Noah interviewed Patrick Ewing in May of 2020, beginning of the pandemic. Noah balances journalism work with fatherhood. 8 minutesNoah describes his father's background. His parents divorced when Noah was in Kindergarten.11 minutesTwo Homes and Benefit of the DoubtBoth of Noah's parents died long ago. Jonah's parents are both still alive. We discuss mythologizing and giving people the benefit of the doubt. 18 minutesThe death of Noah's dad and the aftermath.   How Noah's father grew up - Moving around and abuse in the '50s. Bedford, Massachusetts. After the divorce, Noah's parents had shared custody. He'd spent every other weekend with his dad. When he was 14, Noah's died tragically in an accident. Noah was forced to see the school counselor. The situation wasn't well thought out and Noah was really uncomfortable being required to see the counselor. Noah's brother was away at college. Noah's mom did the best she could do given the situation. 27 minutesNavigating High School and Starting College32 minutesCheckers with 5 Year-old36 minutesSchooling: Perseverance and Overcoming AdversityWe discuss the complexity of schooling, regarding socialization, motivation and support. 45 minutesAnxiety Growing up with anxiety and trying to parent without anxiety. Anxiety - constant problem solving - leads to creating the problems that don't exist in order to then solve. 55 minutesHow We Live - ConnectionScreen Life versus Real Life - changing behaviors and time spentPodcast Recommendation: Story of the Week: Ten Straight Years on Tinderhttps://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/story-of-the-week/10-straight-years-on-tinderNoah:"Human connection feels really good. It feels like it's become really hard to come by."63 minutesTrust We discuss the complexity of building human connection in modern life. 71 minutesNBA Talk. The Celtics, the Warriors and we discuss the much too-long regular season and ways the NBA could shorten it. 78 minutesNoah feels dirty watching football. 80 minutesNoah loves sandwiches. Three of his favorites: Pastrami on rye from a Jewish deli. Banh mi. Grilled cheese with bacon. ***Thanks for listening to Jonah Asks. Share, subscribe and rate as you see fit. Be Safe and Be Kind,Jonah

Music:Wilco "Jesus, Etc."David Bowie "Changes"Jackie DeShannon "Bette Davis Eyes" original (1974)Q. How are you doing?When was the last time it was acceptable to reply "I'm great!"?We conclude somewhere around the summer of 2016. Pre-Trump, Pre-pandemic.7 minMichael talks about his early experiences with books12 minOur last tennis match in San Francisco (Summer, 2007)Michael moves to Nicaragua for a year.15 minA Drive North from SF to Portland, Oregon (March 2014) 20 minDealing with GriefMichael's mom died of cancer in 2014 and his dad died of cancer this summer. 25 minThe Holidays36 minFamily Games The computer game The Oregon Trail has biblical overtones.  38 minMichael's dad worked as a computer engineer at IBMThe family moved from Westchester, New York to Portland, Oregon in the early 1990s.45 minHyphenated Names50 minDepression - Overt Depression versus Covert Depression54 minMichael's GrandfatherMichael describes his father's father. Michael thinks about his dad's upbringing and how it impacted his dad. Michael has letters from the 1970s, written by his grandfather, annotated by his grandmother. 63 minMichael's Dad, near the end of his life. After 14 months and four rounds of chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer, Michael's Dad chose the "Death with Dignity" option (Oregon law) that allows a person who is suffering with a terminal illness to end their life. Michael describes the experience of getting the news of his father's choice. 68 minDeath with Dignity Michael describes the process of his parents dying and the "Death with Dignity" option for terminally ill people and talks about the end of each of his parents lives.79 minLife is Fragile89 minPerfect Day PublishingMichael is publishing the tenth book under Perfect Day Publishing, a small press he started in 2012. The next book to be released is: Staring Contest: Essays about Eyes by Joshua James Ambersonhttps://joshuajamesamberson.commusic clip: "Bette Davis Eyes" original by Jackie DeShannon (1974)95 minCopy-Editing, Publishing Process98 minWhat Does Reading Mean Today? We discuss different types of reading and writing and how our culture is changing around reading habits.Podcast recommendation - On Reading and the BrainEzra Klein with Maryanne Wolfhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-conversation-about-the-reading-mind-is-a-gift/Maryanne Wolf is a researcher and scholar at U.C.L.A.'s School of Education and Information Studies. Her books “Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain” and “Reader, Come Home: The Reading Brain in a Digital World” explore the relationship between the process of reading and the neuroscience of the brain. In Wolfe's view, our era of information overload represents a historical inflection point where our ability to read — truly, deeply read, not just scan or scroll — hangs in the balance.

OpeningFamily HistoriesI describe what I know about the fathers of each of my four grandparents. Ryan describes his family background, his father's personal history and his grandfather's family and alcoholism.Jeremy discusses his family history and the move from indigenous life in rural, mountainous Mexico to Montana, Utah and Mormonism.12 minConnecting to Our Pasts - American Culture Focuses on the Now and Often Erases the PastWhat we know about the generations before us and how it impacts family dynamics. We are all part of a trajectory of humanity from one generation to the next, but American Culture reinforces a mythic individualism and often erases or distorts the past.20 minEmotional RegulationFocusing on parents' needs as children often leads to putting others first as adults. Children will always attempt to emotionally regulate their parents. We are biologically wired to soothe and help our parents in order to help them stabilize and be okay, but this can lead to ignoring needs and lack of boundaries as adults and in future relationships.27 minVulnerability as Brutal Honesty - Finding Humor in the Human ConditionBack to the difficulty of allowing yourself to be vulnerable. We love the comedians who are truth-tellers, telling difficult and emotional stories and finding humor on the stage - naked vulnerability. 32 minJeremy helps Kindergarteners learn how to regulate and he appreciates supporting them in dealing with all the big feelings. 40 minFinal ThoughtsWe land on some truths to keep us all going. Maintaining love is work. Intimate relationships demand work and compassion. 44 minI confronted my dad and let out some of the built-up frustration, disappointment and pain. Since then, I've been able to move forward and let go...and I continue to let go...and that process is never-ending. Ending54 minFrom the garage, Rebelle Harmony and Jonah sing "Learning to Fly"

Welcome back to Jonah Asks.I reached out to several friends with the hope of having a discussion about fathers, family dynamics, childhood, and healing. Ryan and Jeremy were both interested. The resulting discussion was fascinating and...if you'll allow me...thought-provoking. I hope it gets you thinking, too. People are complicated. Parenting often overwhelms people. Growing up is not simple and...in my opinion., we're never actually done growing up.OpeningRyan is currently in a cabin in southern Colorado. Jeremy joins us from his home in Salt Lake City, Utah.Jonah is in El Cerrito, California.8 minJonahJonah introduces the frame of the conversation about family, fathers, discussing psychology, socialization, depression, masculinity and connection.10 minRyanRyan discusses his father's stoic temperament, his need for being solitary and having quiet, and his father's upbringing and life journey. 19 minJeremyJeremy discusses his father and grandfather. How literacy issues and the responsibility of so many children informed his father's ability to communicate in general. How work, the practice of polygamy and fathering 32 children impacted his father's general ideas of fatherhood.31 minSocialization, Masculinity, and How Depression Impacts Menreading: "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by therapist Terrance Real. Jonah describes his parents meeting and the ways in which their dynamics impacted him.Ryan describes his family and generational trauma, talking about his brothers and the ways in which they seem to follow the generational patterns of behavior of their father, work, familial control and obligation, and disconnection. 40 minSimple Equations for LifeIf men value themselves based on their salary and they view parenting as providing money for their children to get through college, the equation is very simple -- and self-worth is narrowly defined. Capitalism and its impact on men, work and fatherhood. 42 minThe Modern Choice: Whether or Not to Choose FatherhoodJeremy talks about how he helped his younger siblings as toddlers and young kids and how his work as a Kindergarten teacher fulfills some of the connection and love he would enjoy as a parent.48 minBiology and GeneticsThe biological drive for traditional family structure. We are the end result of generations of creatures who have been procreating on the planet for eons. Ryan's genetic material may have produced many children. He donated sperm in 2006 and 2007. 57 minHealing - Working, Parenting and Introspection and Self-WorkAll three of us work to help people, guide, support and heal. 60 minFamily TrajectoriesConsidering our fathers from the perspective of their family backgrounds helps us accept and have compassion for their own struggles and growth.65 minMusic: Magnetic Fields "Papa Was a Rodeo"

I've been playing guitar and singing. Here are my covers of nine songs you have probably heard before. If you enjoy this episode/album of covers, please share it. Thanks for listening and enjoy.1. Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvestwritten by Sherman Kellyalbum: Dancing in the Moonlight19732. Rocket Man - Elton John co-written by Bernie Taupinalbum: Honky Chateau19723. Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkelwritten for the film The Graduate19684. Ventura Highway - Americawritten by Dewey Bunnellalbum: America19725. Me & Julio Down by the Schoolyard - Paul Simonwritten by Paul Simonalbum: Paul Simon19726. Mr. Tambourine Man - Bob Dylanwritten by Bob Dylanalbum: Bringing it all Back Home19657. Simple Twist of Fate - Bob Dylanwritten by Bob Dylanalbum: Blood on the Tracks19758. Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylanwritten by Bob Dylan for the film Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid19739. The Weight - The Bandwritten by Robbie Robertsonalbum: Music from Big Pink1968

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. This talk with Jeff Alessandrelli is wide-ranging and thought-provoking. Jeff's book And Yet is an experimental fiction novel full of quotations, philosophical ideas around shyness, desire and selfhood. The novel and the conversation both explore many aspects of modern life:*isolation vs connection;*therapy/mental health*living via text vs living in the present moment *vulnerability vs social conditioning/masculinity*creative ambition vs acceptance;*societal expectations vs individual truth. *talking vs self-consciousness*identity and performing the selfLink to Jeff's book:https://pankmagazine.com/shop/preorder-yet-jeff-alessandrelli/music samples: "Me, Myself and I" De La Soul"Saturday in the Park" ChicagoEssay in The Atlantic on the sex recession, Dec 2018https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/12/the-sex-recession/573949/Spalding Gray on Charlie Rose (1997)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geKEoxpPh5Y&tThank You For Listening and Sharing,Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks, This is the second episode with Jeremy. It was recorded at the end of June, but it's finally made its way to the internet. Jeremy is a thoughtful human, a compassionate teacher, and maintains hope for humanity, despite it all. Themes:*Teaching Kindergarten*Five Year-Olds*Labor Rights*Emotional Regulation*Compassion*Emojis and Language*Retaining Hope for HumanityIf you enjoy this episode, please share it.

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. In this episode, I recorded an audio version of a recently completed short story, The Wednesday Meeting. It's a story about a man named Isaac. He's learning how to move forward from a childhood trauma. The written version can be found at https://darkoindex.medium.com/If you enjoy it, please share this episode. Thanks for listening.

Ten minutes of British phrases with a five year-old. 

A short essay reflection on parenting and supporting a child as we all move forward into elementary school. 

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. This episode is about how we live. Using the Dalai Lama's "Instructions for Life," I consider each of these ideas and discuss self-reflection, psychology and how we attempt to build gratitude and awareness. To read the instructions themselves,https://thriveglobal.com/stories/instructions-for-life/ Thanks for listening. Be well. 

A quick recap of last night's party for my ESL class to commemorate the end of the school year, then an audio version of an essay I published on Medium. This essay is a tribute to Boston Celtics' guard Derrick White. If you enjoy basketball, the Boston Celtics, or underdogs, this is for you. Here's a link to the written essay:https://darkoindex.medium.com/derrick-whites-journey-to-becoming-an-essential-boston-celtic-8c2cf388caf4

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks!In this episode, we meet Emily. A visual artist, a lover of the natural world, a citizen of Portland, Oregon, and a compassionate human.music: "Colors" by Black Pumas"Karma Chameleon" by Boy Georgemovie clip: Steve Buscemi from "Fargo" Coen BrothersEmily's websitehttps://www.emilykepulis.com/OpeningGreetings, pandemic time, dogs0:16Art in the Family. Emily's mom and grandma have always made art. 0:21The Blank Page/Canvas.Emily discusses the process of confronting the blank canvas. 0:25Water Briefed, a series of printshttps://www.emilykepulis.com/water-briefed0:27Mortality and the Natural World0:37On Time: Sixteen Minutes Means Nothing0:39Restaurant Work0:45Working from Home vs Working at a Studio0:50To Minnesota! Emily's father's family arrived in the upper Midwest after migrations from Latvia and Germany and then England.  Her mother's family are from Austria and Bohemia.1:00To Parent or Not to Parent1:10Sustaining CreativityJonah discusses his mom and poetry. 1:14Anne Carson's poem - "A Salmon Answers When We Ask"A salmon answers when we ask. Some conversations are not about what they're about. The word conversation means “turn together.” Turn a salmon turn home turn Prometheus a hopeful god. Turn organize his life! Do not turn betrayal not kiss. Night bones. Day sleeper. Girl. Not stark naked not stark itself. What do you want to be in your next life. A salmon. Why. A rescue. How. A play. Whose. A reading. When. A Friday. No. Is that why they call it the Rec room.-after Anne CarsonRichard Powers "The Overstory"1:20Noticing, Observing and Slowing Down

music:"Man Who Sold the World" Nirvana, Unplugged in New York (Bowie cover)"Given to Fly" Pearl Jam, Yield"Hunger Strike" Temple of the DogOpeningPatrick and I attended the same schools, from elementary through high school. Our paths diverged and we knew of each other more than we knew each other after a while. This talk was intriguing for that reason. Patrick was a unique personality within our school, a musician and theater kid, but I didn't really know him. In this conversation, we catch up on the last 25 years. Q. What does it mean to be a "humanist"?Humanism as a way of adding dimension to atheism. Growing up in the Episcopal church, Patrick's father was a key member of the choir and Patrick recalls a moment when he was twelve when he looked out at the parishioners and questioned the integrity of the ritual.Q. Did anyone actually believe in the message they were singing? 0:07After High School - Working Patrick briefly attended community college and worked his way through jobs, gaining experience. Applying for jobs without a college degree. "It takes someone to stop and actually read a resume to appreciate what your work experience means." Searching for Independence as a teenSchools: Tracking and Inequality and Arlington0:12Moving to DC and then back to Boston - Jamaica Plain0:18Family: Dogs and CatsPatrick has two cats. He also has a 12 year-old child. Patrick gained experience with infants and toddlers working as a "Mother's Assistant." He loved the Babysitter's Club books.0:238th Grade: Kurt Cobain's SuicideWe recall the time of Kurt Cobain's death (we were in 8th grade) and Patrick discusses Cobain's influence. 0:32The Sound of Freedom Nirvana, Pearl Jam, punk showsPatrick started attending punk shows at The Rat in Boston at 15. 0:37Social Anxiety: How to Not Look Not CoolThe exhaustion of people trying so hard. Patrick supports his child dealing with school drama."There are people that are waiting for that 1% of genuine emotion to come out of you because that's 1 more percent to make fun of." 0:40Social Media: Persona vs Actual LifePatrick and I discuss the complications of living a genuine and honest life, and how social media is often a projection of unreal life.  "Everybody is struggling in some way. Everybody. Providing the support for everybody can only uplift the group. Let's help with that."0:42Undiagnosed ADD - Until AdulthoodPatrick got A's and D's in school. If he wasn't interested or struggling with the topic he would give up. He was never diagnosed with ADD because he wasn't "bouncing off the walls."0:44 Teaching Teenagers - Jonah teaching high school0:49Student Experiences - Schools Jonah Gets Accepted to College Early...Then Stops Attending Classes After Lunch0:56Working Life: Patrick's Experiences "I kind of still don't know what I want to be when I grow up."Graphic design. Copying. Temp Jobs. Help desk computer support for an architectural firm. Patrick's knack for understanding people and social skills helped him in working at a help desk, sort of as an IT translator. Moving back from DC, Patrick was a stay-at-home dad for a while and he explored website design. Patrick continues to work for a web design company. "I will watch YouTube videos on CSS tricks at 10:00pm on a Friday, because that's what I like to do."1:01Fatherhood: New Dad, DaycareThree days old, she had a crying fit that lasted 20 hours. Daycare was tough. She was three when we moved back to Boston. "I'm a good father. I'm a shitty daycare provider."1:07At the Park: "Maybe I'll nod."One of our parent friends now came from those moments at the park. 1:09Connecting: Patrick Has Social AnxietyPatrick sometimes gets stuck in his head. Jonah can relate. 1:10Not Reading Books, Not Exercising"I fill my day with distractions.""A fiction book is a fantasy and escape is necessary, but I never do it. My wife reads all the time."1:16Humanism: Patrick is Really a Scientist-HumanistPromoting humanism as a parent. Fairness. Multiple sides of every story. A bully in 5th grade. 1:21 How Did You Meet Becca?Jonah explains that everything is interesting to him. 1:31NatureBeing in your body and getting out of your head. 1:37Creating Community and Parenting1:46Childhood: What Would Patrick Ask His Parents?Patrick wonders what his parents actually thought his life was like as a teenager.1:50Upcoming 25th High School ReunionEnd of TalkThank you for listening to Jonah Asks. Please rate and share the podcast to keep the project going. Be kind. Resource for Teens and Families: Youth Mental Health Projecthttps://ymhproject.org/resources/Derek Thompson, writing about the epidemic of Teen Depression, for The Atlantichttps://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2022/04/american-teens-sadness-depression-anxiety/629524/Promoting Inclusivity and Wellness in Schools: Mindful Schoolshttps://www.mindfulschools.org/American Humanist Associationhttps://americanhumanist.org/

John G asks seven questions. What is your biggest challenge? What are you most excited about today? What is your biggest regret? Do you hold on to it? Who do you miss the most? What are you doing this Saturday? Andy asks about writing. What is writing to you?  What does it do for you?  What happens if you don't do it?  What parts of writing do you find most interesting? What parts most challenging? Ben asks about technology.  Which aspects of technology and which devices do you think have had the most positive and negative impact on our lives?  How do you try to get the good things and avoid the negative impacts?

In memory of our Keeshond, Boumie (BOOM-ee) Where do I begin? Put on Nick Drake. Set your old blue harness and leash up here on the wall in the garage. Let it all come out.To see the Medium Post, click here: https://darkoindex.medium.com/dear-boumie-2009-2022-82cfde6dc3edWe're lucky to be with dogs. music: Nick Drake "Northern Sky"Love,Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks.This was a rare in-person conversation between two old friends. I visited Portland, Maine, where I stayed with Mike. We recorded this conversation. We discuss: friendship; masculinity, emotions, strategies for dealing with anger; experiences with anger; childhood dynamics; mindfulness and meditation. I read (and we critique) Ton Mak's A Sloth's Guide to Mindfulness.Thank You for listening. Try to allow patience back in when anger threatens to overwhelm you. Be mindful...when you can. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't be judgmental. Don't force yourself to smile and don't force anyone else to smile. Be kind. Thank you once again.Jonah (and Mike)

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks. In this episode, meet Don Greenstein. I've known Don since I was a child. His mom is my Great Aunt Betty, which makes him my cousin. Don has a background in conflict management, facilitation of difficult communications, organizational development, law, and creative dispute management processes. He has more than 30 years of experience creating unique conflict resolution processes to meet the needs of those involved...at least that is what his work bio says. Don is a warm, compassionate and thoughtful human. I'm grateful we had this talk. music: Bright Eyes "First Day of My Life"OpeningFamily BackgroundLiving above the Vet Hospital in Victor, New York (1950s and 1960s)Don goes out into the field and helps his dad deliver a baby calf0:08Don's paternal grandparents were from Germany and Hungary, coming to the U.S. in the 1890s. 0:10Don's parents, known as "Betty and Eddie" to the rest of the family, met in Farmingdale, New York. They were married for 72 years and knew each other for 77 years. 0:13Divorce Becomes Common in 1970sDon's parents and Jonah's grandparents (on both sides) all had marriages that lasted over 65 years. Nearly all the children of those three couples have been through their own divorces. Don: "I think it was the culture of my generation. It was easier to throw things away than work on them.""It takes two to get married and it takes two to get divorced."On what kept marriages together in the 1940s and 1950s. Don: "Relationships are hard, but I think people of the older generation knew hardships and knew how to work and were willing to stay." Jonah mentions cultural changes, employment changes and opening up of options for women.Mediation: Creating a Fair ProcessMediations require people to give up things on both sides. When people walk away from mediation, if each person is a little agitated, that's probably a win-win. If one person feels very happy and the other is mad, that's unacceptable to me.Both people have to be willing to compromise. I've often thought it would be a great way to set a business model. If this is a hot dispute and you're going to yell at each other, then my rates are going to be $500 an hour. If you guys can work together, It'll be $150 an hour."Business Counseling Versus Personal CounselingDon had social work experience working with juveniles when he was in college. "Even though I have to be neutral, I'm more connected to the people I work with than counselors allow themselves to be. In my work now as an ombudsman (Brandeis University) Ninety percent of the people I see, I only see one person." 0:23An Ongoing Mediation: Getting a Couple to Finally Reach Agreement After Two and a Half YearsDomestic relations mediation. Don worked for a firm where he worked on a complicated and drawn-out divorce case.Jonah talks about the experience of being a child of divorce. How repressed anger impacts families. Unleashing anger in a controlled way is necessary and a relief. 0:31Releasing Anger in Cathartic Way Vs Repressing AngerRicky Gervais' character on the show "After Life" releases his anger in ways that most people rarely do. 0:35Helen and Earl (Lynma and Poppadaddy)Don's Aunt Helen and Uncle Earl were Jonah's grandparents, known as Lynma and Poppadaddy0:40West Virginia AdventureDon worked for an Outward Bound Rehabilitation Program in Monongahela National Forest in West Virginia. 0:46Nature, Mindfulness and Self-Care0:52Collective Political Urgency, Restorative Justice and State Legislation Around Issue of EqualityState legislatures restricting the vote and enforcing right-wing agenda on issues of equality around race and sexualityVoting restrictionshttps://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/research-reports/voting-laws-roundup-december-20210:56Working as an Ombuds: Dealing With Those Who Won't CompromiseDon's experience at the university-level with those in power that aren't always open to compromise or other viewpoints. Discussion of tenured professors.1:03Coping with Depression and Male Vulnerability: Opening Up with FriendsDon has found support over the years through a men's group. Jonah has depended on friends over the years for support. 1:11Satisfaction and Wanting Lesshttps://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/03/why-we-are-never-satisfied-happiness/621304/1:14Becoming a DadDon loved becoming a dad. He negotiated for more paternity leave and took vacation time to be home for several months around the time Alex was eight months until past her first birthday. 1:25Practicing GratitudeDon tries to practice gratitude often. 1:30Learning to Let Go (as a Parent)***To hear Don's daughter Alex's interview, click here:https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/jonahasks/episodes/2021-02-03T15_49_24-08_00Thank you for listening to Jonah Asks. As always, feel free to share it with anyone who enjoys listening to conversations and thinking about the big questions. If you have questions, comments or suggestions for future guests, please email me at jonahasks at gmail dot com

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. In this episode, I stop asking questions. Instead, I answer your questions. Or...I use your questions as jumping-off points.  Q. Is it better to help friends or needier strangers? Q. What percent of health is mental health? Q. Is it still ok to find Louis C.K. hilarious? Q. Why would you like a question? Q. Why are you so judgmental?  I will answer more questions and release another episode within two weeks. As always, if you enjoy this, don't hesitate to share it with others. My only attempt at promotion is word of mouth. Word of mouth is a funny phrase. All spoken words (that I know of) come from the mouth. For questions, comments, episode ideas, or your interest in being a future guest... please email jonah asks at gmail dot comThanks for Listening,Jonah

This short episode is about my mostly unknown Eastern European roots. I read entries from the genealogy report I wrote for my social studies class in 8th grade. Considering The Ukraine and Romania and why I (like many American Jews whose families arrived around 1900) don't know much about Eastern Europe or what the experiences of our ancestors was like when they did get out and arrive in New York. 

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks. Meet Jeff Alessandrelli. Jeff is a poet, professor and publisher of poetry. He is the John Stockton of the world of poetry, dishing out assists like its 1989. This is an interview for writers and creative folks. We drift from Erik Satie to Samuel Beckett to Bill Knott to Adam Haslett to our own thoughts on identity, from what it means to write and share your work to the psychology of writers and eventually we discuss nihilism solitude. Jeff's website and books:https://jeffalessandrelli.net/booksJeff reads selections from his poetic biography "Erik Satie Watusies His Way Into Sound"0:08Impressions from ChildhoodJeff recalls a time during middle school when social pressure was difficult to handle. 0:15Skateboarding Jeff wrote a book of essays on skateboarding and music. (insert link)0:24Growing up in Reno and family history.0:30NebraskaJeff lived in Nebraska. He earned a PhD in Literature with a focus on Poetry. After returning to Portland for a short time, he returned to Nebraska to teach at a small university, while he commuted from Omaha. Jonah visited Nebraska with family in 1991 and recently set a short story in Nebraska. 0:45Writing: Samuel Beckett, Bill Knott and Writing IdentitySatisfaction vs endless striving. The creative process vs literary world. Recognition and validation. Poet Bill Knott. Identity -- writing identity versus real life identityWhat does it mean to like yourself as a writer? 0:59Fonogrof Editions Jeff started a non-profit poetry press. It began with putting out albums of poetry on vinyl. The press now releases books as well. https://fonografeditions.com/Jeff is an editor and curator. "I started reading and finding an identity in books from a very young age. Fongoraf is an extension of that. And I've always been a big music fan."Fonograf published Mark Leidner's "Returning the Sword to the Stone," which made the NY Times Best of 2021 list for poetry. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/10/books/review/best-poetry-books-2021.html1:03Appreciating Jeff's Editing and Assisting in PoetryJeff's literary role: Like John Stockton in the 1990s, Jeff dishing out assists to poets. Jeff edits poetry and runs a small press. Jonah appreciates Jeff's editorial insights. Jonah writes about the ambiguities of self-publishing his poems.http://thefanzine.com/bad-business-is-good-art-fonograf-editions/1:10Writing, Solitude and the Imaginative LifeNobody Marries ThemselvesIn 2003, I read Adam Haslett's story collection "You Are Not a Stranger Here." I finally re-read it a few months ago. Adam Haslett's "The Perpetual Solitude of the Writer""One of the paradoxes of writing...in order to fulfill the urge to communicate something to other people, you end up spending huge amounts of time on your own."https://lithub.com/the-perpetual-solitude-of-the-writer/Jeff, on The freedom of writing poetry: "One of the beautiful things about poetry, but also challenging, is that there's no money in it."1:36Focusing on Gratitude and Dropping Cynicism1:41Politics: Taking Voting Seriously1:47Discussion of Nihilism1:51Films: "Nebraska" and "The Station Agent"Jeff teaches Nebraska in his composition class. Students have to make a definitional argument. 1:55Writing is Unique to the Writer2:00Jeff Alessandrelli has a very long last name!Find Jeff and Jonah online:Find Jeff and his books online at jeffalessandrelli.netFind Fonograf Editions Find Jonah's latest book of poems at Blurb.More of Jonah's writing at www.darkoindex.medium.comon Twitter @darkoindexThanks for Listening and Sharing,Jonah

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks. With Anthony (On Childhood, Socialization, Fathers, Socioeconomics, Parenting, Social Media and Basketball)Meet Anthony, a friend who goes back to first grade. We grew up in the same town. Our fathers were different than most of the town's fathers. Our mothers were, too. It was a fascinating conversation. Travel back in time to the 1980s and early 1990s. We discuss the complexity of identity and socioeconomics. We talk about spirituality and religion. The conversation continues on into youth basketball experiences. Toward the end of the interview, we discuss technology, reading and writing, the impact of social media, and future concerns.Musical interlude: sample from "In the Waiting Line" by Zero 70:05 Q. Does anyone ever "find themselves?"0:08 Small Children and Cleaning Up0:10 How Anthony's parents met - London, 19720:15 Growing up in East Arlington. Elementary school, socialization. Parents who strongly value education in a socioeconomically-mixed, working-middle-class suburb.0:22 Arlington Fathers. Jonah's childhood observations. Our dads were different. 0:27 Youth Basketball and Identity. 0:33 Anthony's family home and growing up "shackled"0:35 Choosing a College0:37 Fathers and their Religious Childhoods. Like Jonah, Anthony's dad was raised in the Christian church, but never mentioned religion and his mom was raised as secular Jew in New York. Religion was not part of his family experience.  0:43 Spiritual Urges and Nature. Agnosticism, Atheism, Spirituality Q. Are you an atheist or agnostic? 0:47 Mental Health and Pandemic0:51 Everything Must Be Quantified: Sustaining Creative Projects in Age of Big Data0:58 NBA Hoops Talk1:03 Parenting in Your 40s With Small Children. Thinking about how involved we are today compared with the previous generations. Children need other children. 1:09 Rewarding: The Wonder of 5 year-olds Discovering and Learning1:11 Identity and Parenting: Never-Ending Attempt to Find Balance as a Parent1:20 Technology. Discussing Smart Phone Impact, Social Media Use and the Future. Retaining Optimism, despite treadmill of misinformation on social mediaThanks for Listening to Jonah Asks. Please share this with people who enjoy listening to podcasts.Be Safe,Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. This is part two of my interview with Kyle. Throughout his life, Kyle has traveled with an open mind and compassionate heart. This episode is affecting, because Kyle is a thoughtful, unrushed storyteller...who happens to have many stories. Even as I listened again in editing, I appreciated the ease with which we discussed the big questions, around humanitarian work, humanity, sustaining hope, fatherhood and marriage, and dealing with technology. A native of Northern California, Kyle has dedicated much of his life to Humanitarian Work. During college, he spent a semester in Australia. After college, he spent two years in Malawi, teaching through the Peace Corps. He traveled to India, Nepal and Bhutan, before returning to California and eventually heading to grad school to study International Peace and Conflict Resolution. After that, Kyle was in East Timor and then based in Thailand, directing an anti-human-trafficking campaign in Southeast Asia.  Music samples:of Montreal "Wraith Pinned to the Mist" album The Sunlandic Twinshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8cCPH1qnYI&ab_channel=PolyvinylRecordsSeckou Keita "N'doké"; album Seckou Keita: 22 Stringshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77J78-jb-a4&ab_channel=SeckouKeitaSeckou Keita plays the Kora, a West African lute/harp made of 22 strings. One of Kyle's mentors: Prof. Abdul Aziz Said, started the graduate program, worked on White House Councils, etc. https://www.american.edu/sis/news/20210215-a-tribute-to-abdul-aziz-said.cfmEast Timor / Timor LesteWe discuss the genocide in East Timor and Kyle's work there on peace and reconciliation after genocide.Non-Profit Dedicated to Peace and Reconciliation:Search for Common Groundhttps://www.sfcg.org/0:47Q. When you feel overwhelmed with the problems of the world, what restores you?Kyle describes bringing it back to the individual and the power of connection and kindness.0:50Thailand and South Asia: Anti-Human Trafficking Campaign0:58Q. How do you balance fatherhood with work, marriage and time for yourself?Fatherhood, Relationship, Work and Finding a Balance1:20Habits: Limiting Technology1:24The Difficulty of Just BeingThanks for Listening to Jonah Asks. If you're looking to donate to the Search for Common Ground, click here: https://www.sfcg.org/Please email with questions or comments. jonahasks at gmail dot com

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks and Happy New Year. Let's hope 2022 brings more health, happiness and general peace than 2021. Us humans seem to be struggling. In this episode, meet Kyle. A father, compassionate soul, a traveler, a writer and a  worker in the struggle for humanity who has dedicated many years of his life to making things better for humans. This is a two-part episode. The second part should be up within a week. Stay healthy, safe and kind,Jonah 

Over the last few months, I've been writing fiction. This short story, "Lawrence in Motion," takes place mostly in Lincoln, Nebraska, diners, and on America's highways. I enjoyed the process of getting to know this character over time, as he came to me. He's an amalgam of my past and many people I've known. Writing short fiction can be an appealing break from reality. Thank you as always for listening and reading. Be Safe and Enjoy the Autumn,Jonah

This episode is 19 minutes of musical experiments I've conducted over the last six months. Playing with sounds is a nice diversion from reality. Please enjoy responsibly. Each of these tracks was at one point given a title because that's an easy way to save the file...but those titles don't seem all that important to this experiment. 

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. Meet Chris. A husband and father. A baseball and math enthusiast. A data scientist. Chris is an introvert. A friend of a close friend for many years, it was fun getting to know him better. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks0:03Cape Cod BaseballQ. How did you get involved with scorekeeping in the Cape League? My dad became the general manager of the Chatham Anglers, now the Chatham A's. When I was in high school, he found a summer job for me. I learned how to do the official scoring.On future major leaguers staying at Chris' house while playing Cape League:"These guys have a connection. It's the last time before baseball gets serious. I think everyone has pretty fond memories of it. Getting a taste of what it's like--they play every day--but not quite as much pressure as it is once you start getting paid for it."0:10College ExperiencesFirst attending Harvey Mudd in Southern California, then transferring to Bowdoin, in Maine. "Sports Were a Big Part of My Identity""Harvey Mudd, the freshman year is very rigorous. It's all pass/fail because they anticipate you're not used to the workload." Before college, Chris attended boarding school. Prep school was entirely structured. Only Sunday afternoon was your time. At Groton (prep school) sports was a requirement.Chris joins the track team and learns the high jump. Jonah somehow confuses high jump with pole vault0:22FamilyChris was in junior high when they divorced. He doesn't have specific memories of the divorce. It just happened. His mom moved to Maine. Chris visited his friend Mike in 9th grade. Part of the motivation to transfer to prep school was math. He was running out of classes at the local public high school. 0:30Data Science "Basically I do fancy counting and then tell people about it."Chris is a data scientist in the Bay Area. He's worked for several companies. He works in order to make money so he can spend time with his family and do the things he enjoys, like play sports and score baseball. "Any app that you use is doing an experiment on you at all times and you don't know about it and someone like me is crunching the numbers in the background."0:36Baseball Scorekeeping--From Cape League to Oakland and SFThe Cape League All-Star Game was at Fenway Park. Chris got to score the game at Fenway. He started to think about how to get involved in MLB scoring. He read a book and contacted the author. He got a lucky break. Since 2013, Chris has scored MLB games in Oakland and San Francisco.Strange scenarios:The Giants batted out of order because the lineup card was off."Pablo Sandoval got charged with grounding out to the catcher despite never coming to the plate."0:47Analytics in Baseball and Opening Doors (warning: for baseball obsessives)We discuss shifting, stolen bases, walks, strikeouts, and home-runs and how data plays into the changes in baseball. Chris would like to help open the doors for more people of color in baseball analytics and create more opportunities.0:56FatherhoodWatching our daughters become more autonomous. Learning how to maintain patience through meltdowns.1:00Trust  We discuss trust in parenting and relationships in general. 1:07Attention and Technology How We Use the PhoneHow we use phones and how we pay attention and communicate. Jonah has no idea how Chris feels about the avalanche of baseball-related texts he's been sending. ResourcesMapping Stem Inequality -- Unicefhttps://www.unicef.org/globalinsight/stories/mapping-gender-equality-stem-school-workFive Great STEM Non-ProfitsKhan AcademyCode.orgScratch AcademyRevolution RoboticsGirls Who Codehttps://www.forbes.com/sites/forbestechcouncil/2019/07/23/five-nonprofits-driving-a-revolution-in-stem-educationSupportTo support Jonah Asks, please share episodes, subscribe, or donate directly via Buy Me a Coffee https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasksContact me at jonahasks at the g mail 

This episode is just me and my thoughts and a breathing practice designed to center ourselves. Email me any thoughts, feedback or questions. Jonahasks @ gmailThanks for listening. 

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. My brother Ben loves baseball. He passed that love on to me. Or should I say I was indoctrinated at a very young age. Either way, I love baseball, too. In June and July of 1998, we went on an 18,000 mile, 40-42 day road trip around North America and saw thirty major league baseball games, one at each stadium. In this episode, we reflect on that trip, baseball fandom, brotherhood, and how memory works. Hope you enjoy. 

"All About the Ben"Welcome back to Jonah Asks. Ben Sherman was a high school friend who I also worked and lived with for a couple years in 2002-03. It was great to reconnect with him after a decade or so. Ben has taught philosophy and now works in the non-profit world helping people in workforce development. Ben is thoughtful, compassionate and at times, quite funny. Thanks for listening!Timestamps:0:02 Digestion and Middle Age0:05 Arlington, Massachusetts"The theater crowd at Arlington High School was just...deeply strange. They had their own pagan icon: the sacred oar. Every year, after the final performance, there would be a sacrifice to the sacred oar. My freshman year, they had bought a full-size dead squid from a butcher shop...and it got weirder after that."0:13 The Coin-Flip: Oberlin vs BrandeisBen had to decide between going Oberlin and Brandeis. His dad had left it up to him entirely. At the last minute, he was about to flip a coin. His dad sat down with him and they made a list of pros and cons. It was still a tie. So he flipped a coin. And ended up at Brandeis, in Waltham, MA.  0:17 Experiencing Different Sides of Arlington - Surviving High School: bullying and Social Life, Finding Real Friends, Embracing Weirdness and the Rocker Aesthetic"In the mid-90s, Arlington was right on the edge of gentrification. You said there were different Arlingtons. People who ran the school board would talk about an out-an-out clash between old Arlington and new Arlington and we were right in the middle of it. We were not a ritzy town, we were not a working class town, we were both things at once. That caused some weird splits and polarization."Ben: "In my experience, the portion of the school community that prioritized toughness and toxic masculinity...in a lot of cases, representing the young side of a working class that was being elbowed out of where their families had lived for years, was this hostile force. For me, it was having people randomly gay-bash you. Having people threaten violence."0:24 Identity: Weirdness and Agency0:29 Employment - Ben Works in Workforce DevelopmentThe fight for progress. Employment numbers, opportunities and low wages.0:40 Family and GrievingBen's mom died of cancer when he was 8. He was the oldest of two boys. His dad remarried a few years later. Reflecting back on that time, Ben remembers when he was an early teen, thinking about how few memories he had from the year or two after his mom died. "It was a memory hole even at a time when it was surprising for it to be a memory hole."0:50 Meeting Step-Mom"It was as smooth and warm a step-mother introduction to the family as I'm aware of." Seeing Dad cry for the first time.0:54 Mortality, Trust and PsychologyHow we cope with childhood and how memory works.1:00 Polyamory: Ethical Non-monogamyBen explains his definition of polyamory and his experience in relationships.1:11 Younger People and the Problem of Endless Options1:16 Fatherhood as Seen From Afar1:25 Generations, Trust, Intimacy and Too Many Options1:35 Waltham, MA, Communal Living in 2002Ben and Jared Make a Vague Plan"Let's find collective housing so we're paying a lot less per room right out of college."Internet cables split ten ways. "You had people who were individually not really competent to run their own lives, but you put them together, you had a pretty good overlapping skill-set."1:45 Bugaboo Creek Steak House"It never could decide if it wanted to be Chuck E. Cheese or a dive-bar. The attempt to be both at once was pretty weird. (While serving steak)."A low-budget Applebee's supposedly in the Yukon. 1:48Student Debt, College and Connections1:52Existential QuestionsThe future of higher education, the future of the planet and jobs.1:55The Cost of Living, Internet AvailabilityAppreciationssongs:Weezer “In the Garage”Soundgarden “Black Hole Sun”

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. Meet Luke Tozour. A wonderful human with a keen sense of how sounds work together to create music. A devoted father and partner. A compassionate fellow. Opening How Luke and Jonah met: a park in El Cerrito, California, with our two year-old girls. 0:07 Pandemic parenting Caution-Taped playgrounds 0:11 Balance Finding balance as a primary parent with work and family in flexible work 0:16 Winter Before the Pandemic: 18 months and another world ago 0:18 Moving: New Jersey to Pittsburgh to Boston to LA 0:21 Music Engineering: LA music scene, working and learning. Luke was nominated for a Grammy Award while working on Katy Perry's 2008 album "One of the Boys" 0:27 Recording Process: One take versus many takes 0:31 Luke’s production work on OK Go’s new educational project, put together during the pandemic. https://okgo.net/alltogethernow/ “Produce like a Pro” – YouTube series with Warren Huart https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpyUGZeMUtOvt57UACw3H2g 0:37 First Lines: Songs and Stories We talk about the importance of first lines. 0:40 Tension and Release in Music 2001: A Space Odyssey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwxYiVXYyVs 0:41 Searching for Silence https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5djwK3DaZV0 0:46 Parenting: Patience and Communication with a Four Year-old “This is developmentally appropriate.” Remembering to understand this is temporary and expected. 1:00 Economy, Middle Class and Compassion 1:08 Appreciations If you'd like to support the podcast directly: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Thanks for Listening and Be Safe, Jonah

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks. Meet Carlo: a broad thinker and motivator, a father, a married gay man, and a great conversationalist. Carlo grew up in the Philippines and came to New York City at 18. Carlo and I are both dads of four year-old girls who attend the same preschool in the Bay Area. This was an invigorating and thoughtful talk. If you're inspired and motivated by Carlo and interested in working with him, go to www.carloparsons.com Topics we discuss: *working online *parenting *youth in Philippines *English fluency/accent *family--birth order *large families *dancing *identity formation *attention *motivation *social media *politics *clarity of thought *personal mission Thanks for Listening, Jonah .

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks. This was a really enjoyable interview. Martha Grover has created zines, written books, collected drawings, illustrations and many other forms of expression. Martha doesn't get hung up on the judgment of others and has been creating stuff for over 20 years. Find Martha's books and zines: https://antiquatedfuture.com/artist/martha-grover http://www.perfectdaybooks.com/shop It was a pleasure to dive into conversation with Martha. We went back and forth telling stories, while discussing the following topics: *creative writing (memoir, essay, fiction, poetry, fantasy) *the process of creating *how books/authors are taught *attention economy *ADD *audiobooks *television *mental health/medication/depression *family dynamics *homeschooling *fundamentalist religion *schools as institutions *marriage *relationships *health *politics and activism If you'd like to support the podcast directly: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Don't hesitate. Follow your instincts. Express yourself. Ignore the judgments of others...but keep your ears, eyes, heart and mind open. Thanks for listening to Jonah Asks. Share, rate, and subscribe as you wish.

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. Well...I did it. I interviewed my Mom. Deep in my gut, I knew I needed to do this interview when I started this project...and I waited nine months and 27 episodes because I knew it would be complicated. I love my mom. I appreciate what my mom did for my brother and I growing up. Our relationship has never been simple. Childhood was often tense and anxious and life was difficult for Mom. Teaching second grade and raising two young boys on her own was difficult. Mom balanced our home life with teaching and also being involved in our schools in Arlington and remaining involved in the school system where she taught, in Newton. A strong individual, Mom is now Grammy on Zoom, still doing aerobics (on Zoom these days) at 75 years-old, and still sorting through her endless boxes. This interview was an important and cathartic one for me, and she thought it came out pretty well, though "a bit rambly." I reminded her it was a conversation, not an outline. Topics we discuss: *education *teaching philosophy (focusing on individual traits in order to encourage and support learning of each student) *asking for support (or not) *routines *writing *childhood memories -- Washington DC suburbs in the 1940s and early 1950s *Helen and Earl (mom's parents/my grandparents) *maintaining joy, wonder and delight *meeting my father in college *getting married and divorced *single-parenting *choosing NOT to remarry *the pleasure of sorting *relationship conflict *divorce and children: psychology *family dynamics after divorce *appreciations *** Thanks for listening. I'm glad I did this interview. Sometimes the hardest things are the most necessary. If you'd like to support the podcast directly, click here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Enjoy springtime! Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. Meet Mark. A dedicated musician and educator, Mark is now a school administrator and an all-around thoughtful and funky gentleman. I met Mark about fifteen years ago, teaching at Jefferson High School in Daly City. Our paths have crossed again in the last year in the adult school environment. For that I'm grateful. In this episode, Mark talks about: *growing up with religion *life travels from Virginia to Arkansas to the Bay Area *life on the road as a touring musician *San Francisco over the last two decades. We also discuss: *political activism *religious hypocrisy *education *creativity *identity (work vs everything else) Check out Mark's music at http://www.hollinsandhollins.com/ To support the podcast, share, rate and subscribe. Or you can buy me a virtual coffee here. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks As always, thanks for listening and be safe. This is temporary, Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. Meet Karsten. Dedicated to environmental justice, Karsten is a passionate and thoughtful human who thinks about the durability of new energy policy. Karsten is a husband, a father of two and an occasional piano man. Topics we discuss: *piano *Environment *Growing up in the central valley of California *Geography *Masculinity *Justice Movements *Sustaining Activism *Climate Crisis *Biden Administration Climate Goals *Parenting Organizations to Support: Donate to the Indigenous Environmental Network www.ienearth.org Donate to the Sunrise Movement www.sunrisemovement.org Donate to Fair Fight www.fairfight.com Donate to the Equal Justice Initiative eji.org Redeem your aluminum cans and use that money to donate. Okay, enough preaching. To support the podcast directly, share it with others, subscribe to it or donate at Buy Me a Coffee. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks I appreciate all of you for listening! Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. This episode holds extra meaning for me and I hope it will for you as well. My high school guidance counselor was Mr. D'Antona. He was a beloved figure at Arlington High School, where he worked for over 40 years and was a positive influence on so many teenagers lives. I was one of those teens. During a tumultuous personal time in 10th grade, Vin's office was a refuge for me. His open-door policy allowed me to catch my breath over the course of a few months when life felt overwhelming and high school was a place I wanted to escape. This interview is wonderful because Vin (now Vincenzo) is as open-hearted and unguarded as any 80 year-old I've ever met. He's lived a full and satisfying life and he has survived life's unending obstacles while remaining optimistic. Thanks to my Mom staying in touch with Vin over the years, I was able to set up the interview over Zoom. Topics we discuss: *Growing up in Somerville and Everett (Massachusetts) in the 40s and 50s. *family dynamics *psychology *teaching *becoming a high school counselor *The 60s *social movements *impact of War on mental health *Vietnam *Italian family *Polish family *depression *bullying *mental health *community *grieving *therapy *empathy *weight *hiking *retirement *COVID *connections If you enjoyed this, please share the episode, subscribe to the podcast, and reach out to people you know who may be going through turbulent times. If you'd like to support the podcast directly: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Thanks for listening. This is temporary, Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. If you don't find baseball interesting, this isn't for you. This episode is dedicated to Major League Baseball's American League East. Over these 20 minutes, I'll dive into each of the five AL East teams and talk about each team's most pressing concerns as we head into Opening Day next week. Jonah Asks will be back with another interview next week. Timestamps: Baltimore Orioles 02:00 Boston Red Sox 03:40 New York Yankees 08:20 Tampa Bay Rays 11:30 Toronto (Dunedin) Blue Jays 15:19 To support the podcast, please share and subscribe . If you'd like to donate a coffee, that's always nice, too. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Thanks for listening.

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. Meet Jonny. Meet Jonny. A fantasy writer, a cat lover, a Gay Black Jewish man, and a kind soul. In this episode Jonny takes us through his journey, both physically and psychologically, from childhood through the present...for him age 36. Jonny has lived in many cities, had many jobs, and collected oceans of experience as a human. He's a searcher. Topics we discuss: *identity *coming out as a gay man *Southern Virginia *military families *family dynamics *traveling *HIV *writing (fantasy/thriller) *politics *race and democracy *economic equality *minimum wage *cats *baths This was a wonderful talk. I hope you enjoy Jonny's stories and wisdom. If you'd like to buy his book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Collection-Chronicle-Soul-Seed-Novels/dp/B0892792P9 If you'd like to support the podcast, click here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Thanks for listening and stay safe, Jonah

Welcome Back to Jonah Asks Meet Jenn. A thoughtful human who teaches Philosophy, has raised two children, and rejected social media from the beginning. In this conversation, you'll hear quite a journey. Jenn describes growing up in Sacramento in the 70s, getting into punk music, heading to Santa Cruz then Wales for a year, among other places early on in her life. Over time, Jenn got a PhD in Philosophy and became a mother and a professor. Themes we discuss: *adolescence *punk music and politics *college at UC-Santa Cruz *philosophy *parenting *home-ownership *cities *labor rights *social media *trust *Jewish identity: culturally Jewish not religious To support the podcast, https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Thanks for listening! Jonah

Welcome back to Jonah Asks. In this episode, I answer questions from my guests. 1. Parenting: What is the hardest part? What is your favorite part? musical break: (cover of Talking Heads' "This Must Be the Place") 2. Race: What is it like to be in an interracial marriage? To have a multi-racial child? 3. Aging: Do you fear getting old? Thanks to Alex and Justin, Bridgette, and Jeremy for asking these great questions. It was interesting to dive into them in stream-of-consciousness monologues. I hope you enjoy these ruminations. If you'd like to support the podcast, please share, subscribe and rate it. Another great way to support Jonah Asks -- Buy Me a Coffee https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jonahasks Thanks for listening. This is Temporary, Jonah