Podcast appearances and mentions of Bradley Walker

01. Eric Clapton - One Woman 02. Eric Clapton - The Rebels (feat. Van Morrison) 03. Eric Clapton - Pompous Fool 04. Eric Clapton - Heart of a Child 05. Eric Clapton - Sam Hall 06. Eric Clapton - Smile 07. Eric Clapton - Always On My Mind (feat. Bradley Walker) 08. Eric Clapton - How Could We Know (feat. Judith Hill, Simon Climie, Daniel Santiago) 09. Eric Clapton - The Call 10. Eric Clapton - Moon River (feat. Jeff Beck)

Dwa tygodnie temu młodsza połówka naszego podcastu opowiedziała o tym, co to znaczy przez kilkanaście godzin być świadkiem największej muzycznej uczty muzycznej, którą przygotowały w Kalifornii największe legendy rocka, bluesa, country i bluegrassu. Ale jeśli myśleliście, że to pierwszy dzień koncertów był naprawdę epicki to poczekajcie, aż Kuba opowie co się działo przez kolejną dobę!!! Wystarczy nadmienić, że nawet mając ok. 500 przeżytych koncertów w roli widza, to właśnie te z ostatniego dnia festiwalu sprawiły, że płakał jak dziecko, nie wierząc w to, co widzi i słyszy. Posłuchajcie więc jakie niesamowite rzeczy wydarzyły się w niedzielę 24-go września br. w arenie gdzie odbywają się koncerty VII Crossroads Guitar Festival. Kuba je na pewno zapamięta na zawsze

Nasz naczelny koncertoholik - podcaster Pick Please! spełnił jedno ze swoich życiowych marzeń koncertowych, wybierając się na VII Crossroads Guitar Festival organizowany przez Erica Claptona w Los Angeles. Dla fanów gitary i muzycznych legend bluesa czy rocka, kilka pełnych dni słuchania na żywo muzyki na tym festiwalu to prawdziwa uczta dla duszy. Zwłaszcza jeśli chce się doświadczyć również legend, które nie pojawiają się w Europie.Jak to jest kupować bilety na koncert, na plaży w Barcelonie przez telefon? Co się wydarzyło w samolocie do Ameryki, że Kuba zaczął wątpić czy doleci na koncerty pierwszego dnia? Jak to jest nie móc pójść przez kilkanaście godzin do toalety bo muzycznie się dzieje aż tyle?Posłuchajcie jak Kuba opowiada o pierwszym dniu koncertów jedynego w swoim rodzaju festiwalu muzycznego jakim jest Crossroads Guitar Festival. muzyka: Łukasz WojciechowskiZachęcamy też do śledzenia naszego profilu na Facebooku - https://www.facebook.com/PickPlease/oraz Instagramie - https://tiny.pl/cxk21 LINKOWNIA:Wikipedia:Bill Murray - https://tiny.pl/clflr Profile artystów na Spotify:Eric Clapton - https://tiny.pl/clfj9 Gary Clark Jr - https://tiny.pl/clfjd Josh Smith - https://tiny.pl/clfj5 Sonny Landreth - https://tiny.pl/clfj1 Artur Menezes - https://tiny.pl/clfjp Kurt Rosenwinkel - https://tiny.pl/clfj4 Joe Bonamassa - https://tiny.pl/clfj8 The Wallflowers - https://tiny.pl/clfpq Jimmie Vaughan - https://tiny.pl/clfpm John Mayer Trio - https://tiny.pl/clfpt Ariel Posen - https://tiny.pl/clfp9 Christone “Kingfish” Ingram - https://tiny.pl/clfpc John McLaughlin - https://tiny.pl/clfpf Nathan East - https://tiny.pl/clfp5 The Del McCoury Band - https://tiny.pl/clfpb Cindy Cashdollar - https://tiny.pl/clfpj Jesse Cook - https://tiny.pl/clf4q Todd Wolfe - https://tiny.pl/clf4w The Zac Schulze Band - https://tiny.pl/clf47 Bradley Walker - https://tiny.pl/clf4h The Bros. Landreth - https://tiny.pl/clfl8 James Bullard - https://tiny.pl/clf4f Albert Lee - https://tiny.pl/clfl8 Judith Hill - https://tiny.pl/clf4d Eric Gales - https://tiny.pl/clf45 Samantha Fish - https://tiny.pl/clf4j Taj Mahal - https://tiny.pl/clf41 Sheryl Crow - https://tiny.pl/clf4l Marcus King - https://tiny.pl/clf48 The War On Drugs - https://tiny.pl/clf4s Stephen Stills - https://tiny.pl/clfl4 ZZ TOP - https://tiny.pl/clfll 

Eric Clapton's Cover of Willie Nelson's "Always On My Mind," featuring Bradley Walker.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode of The Professional Noticer, Andy hosts Bradley Walker – Award winning country and gospel music soloist, member of the supergroup Brothers of the Heart and the Gaither Homecoming family.  Tune in to hear Bradley tell his story – when he started singing, what led to his first appearance on television (with the Oak Ridge Boys), and how his career gradually developed as a result! Listen as he talks about the incredible influence his mother and stepfather have on his life, and shares about the close friendship he credits for his meeting and partnering with the Gaithers. Connect with Bradley online:  Website: bradleywalker.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bradleywalkermusic Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bradleywalkermusic/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcmAS9fwOQ3DsB-ndbbXnEA Hear more from Bradley and Brothers of the Heart in a previous episode featuring the whole band! Watch here on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVDUZHicD08 If you have questions or comments for THE PROFESSIONAL NOTICER, please contact us at: Email: TheProfessionalNoticer@AndyAndrews.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/AndyAndrews  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyandrews1/  YouTube: https://youtube.com/AndyAndrewsAuthor  Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndyAndrews Instagram: https://instagram.com/AndyAndrewsAuthor  

On this week's episode of The Professional Noticer, Andy hosts Brothers of the Heart, a “supergroup” that includes four award-winning artists – Jimmy Fortune, Bradley Walker, Mike Rogers, and Ben Isaacs.  Tune in to hear this incredible quartet explain what (and who) compelled them to create Brothers of the Heart, why their music doesn't exactly fit any genre, and what causes their voices to blend so beautifully! Listen as they share how their love and respect for each other goes far beyond what you see on stage – and what you can expect when you listen to their newest album, Listen to the Music, which released in January.  Purchase the Brothers of the Heart Listen to the Music Album: https://amzn.to/41zjxuV Connect with Brothers of the Heart:  Website: https://gaither.com/brothers-of-the-heart-to-deliver-sophomore-album-listen-to-the-music-on-january-20-2023/ Jimmy Fortune https://www.jimmyfortune.com/site/ Bradley Walker http://bradleywalker.com/ Mike Rogers https://www.facebook.com/MikeRogersNashville Ben Isaacs https://www.theisaacs.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/watch/100044166412997/929379221645774/ Listen to (and watch) the Music: Listen to the Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxCejWfd8Tc Ring of Fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e5zCAOQsyw If you have questions or comments for THE PROFESSIONAL NOTICER, please contact us at: Email: TheProfessionalNoticer@AndyAndrews.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/AndyAndrews  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyandrews1/  YouTube: https://youtube.com/AndyAndrewsAuthor  Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndyAndrews Instagram: https://instagram.com/AndyAndrewsAuthor

If you know someone who is feeling sorry for themselves, share this amazing interview with Bradley Walker. What a story of allowing God to use us, no matter how much we feel we don't have a lot to offer. Once you hear Bradley Walker sing (and create songs) and then connect the dots with his incapacities, well...his interview shares a lot...but his singing is just awesome!

Intro: Crypto bros, missing the great economic bubbles of the early 2000s. We may as well have cotton candy furniture, Severance on Apple TV, Bad Vegan. Let Me Run This By You: Stage Moms, kindergarten theatre.Interview: We talk to Joe Basile about Long Island accents, NYU Tisch, Bradley Walker, Ensemble Studio Theatre, Liz Lerman's Critical Response Process, Mary Zimmerman's Metamorphoses, the Neo-Futurists Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind (The Infinite Wrench), perfectionism,  Roundabout Theatre Company,  A Bright Room Called Day, Suzan Lori Parks, Go Humphrey, sock puppet Showgirls, keeping the thread of community after college ends.FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited):3 (10s):And I'm Gina Kalichi.1 (11s):We went to theater school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand it.3 (15s):20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of it all.1 (21s):We survived theater school and you will too. Are we famous yet?2 (32s):Okay. I'm getting, I'm getting it together. I, Yeah, I woke up with this really interesting idea that I wanted to run by you, which was, cause I was really tired when I woke up and I thought, okay, everyone's tired when they wake up. And then I thought, well, and they always say like, Americans, you know, never get enough sleep. We're always tired. But like nobody ever investigates why really? Why that is that our system is really fucked up. So like, I don't know. I just was like, yeah, we always do all these like expos A's on like sleep or wellness. Right? Like Americans are the fattest and the most unhealthy. And I'm only speaking about Americans because that's where we live. I don't know shit about Madrid.2 (1m 13s):You know, I'm sure they're they have their own plethora of fucking problems. But I'm just saying like, we don't actually do the work to like, figure out what is wrong. We're just like, Americans are, this Americans are that nobody's getting enough sleep. And like, there's all these, you know, sort of headlines. Right. And we're not just like, well, why is nobody getting enough sleep? Like what is actually happening? So that was my grand thought upon waking up was like, yeah, like, I don't know. We just never dig deep in this case. We're not big on digging.4 (1m 46s):Probably not. I mean, I think our lifestyle overall is pretty unhealthy and it's because of our economic model.2 (1m 58s):What I was gonna say, it all boils down to see the thing is the more you talk to people, the more I do the angrier I get, especially like in my office, like slash co-working, like I gravitate towards the ladies and a lot of ladies of color. And we end up sitting around talking about how like capitalism and systematic racism and sexism are all tied together and how, and by the end, we're just so angry. We're like, okay, what can we do? And we're like, okay, well we need to stop putting money in the pockets of this old white man who owns the coworking. But like we have nowhere else to go. So we're like, now we're screwed. So anyway, it's interesting. It's like it all, every conversation I have of meaning with you or with my cousin and it all boils down to the same thing.2 (2m 43s):And then you end up thinking, I ended up thinking the really, the only way is mass extinction and starting over with a new species, fresh slate, fresh or revolution, right. Or some kind of bloody revolution, it's going to be bloody because you know, the, the, the, the people in power aren't going to let go as we see. So like, we're not, it's not good is all, but I don't feel necessarily like, and maybe it's because I took MTMA, but like, I don't necessarily feel terrible about it. I feel just like, oh yeah, like we're, we're headed towards this way, unless something drastic happens. And I'm not sure that's a terrible thing. Now I don't have children.2 (3m 23s):So I might feel totally different about my children and my children's children and their children, but I just don't, that's not my frame of mind. So anyway, that's what I was thinking as I was so tired, waking up.4 (3m 35s):Is there any world in which you and the other women in coworking can just put your, just rent and office?2 (3m 44s):So we're starting to organize to like, be like, okay, you know, like who would want to go in on a lease, you know? But the thing is, it's so interesting. It's like, well, maybe it's LA, but it's also the world. Like, people don't really trust it. Like we don't really know each other that well yet. So we'd have to like do credit checks and thank God. My credit is good. Thank God. Now it was terrible. But all this to say is that like also LA so transitory that people are like in and out and, and like my, you know, travel. It's just so it's such a weird existence, but we are talking and there's a guy, a black dude. Who's also like my financial guru guy who like, who works at co-working.2 (4m 28s):I met here, he's a mortgage guy. And he's just been like, talking to me all about fucking crypto bros and like how the crypto bros are like, he's like, it is insane. Now, Gina, did you know, now I'm just learning about this world. And he's like, it's all, make-believe basically we live in the matrix and that fucking, there is something called the virtual real estate. Did you know this? Okay, you can purchase virtual squares of real estate, like Snoop Dogg's house, like, like, and people are doing it. And the people who are, it's like a status thing and it's expensive. And the people who are becoming billionaires are the people who run the apps.2 (5m 9s):Right. Are the people who created the fucking program. We are in the matrix. And I was like, wait, what? And he showed me the site where you can buy any town. If you looked into your town, people are doing it. It is, it is consumerism mixed with people are buying things that don't exist.4 (5m 29s):Okay. Yeah. I feel like this is what happens when people with an unchecked power and privilege, it's like, okay, well, like literally we're just making it up. Let's just have cotton candy, be our furniture now. Like it's. So I tried to get into Bitcoin.2 (5m 50s):Oh yeah.4 (5m 51s):Like about five years ago, somebody that I went to high school with is rich from Bitcoin. And, and she was like one of the founders of one of these companies. And so the first problem I have is you shouldn't invest in anything that you don't understand. Right. So I tried to read about it and I'm just like, but what, I just kept reading and being like, yeah, but what is it? Right. You know, what's an NFT.2 (6m 20s):Oh my God. The NFTs. Oh my God. And his name is Lamont and I love him. And he was trying to teach me about those. And I was like, Lamont. I have to take some kind of drug to understand what you're saying. I don't,4 (6m 31s):I have, I, you know, I've read articles. I've had people explain it to me. I mean, I think what it is, is I do know what it is, but I'm just like, that can't be what people are spending that be that,2 (6m 43s):Yeah, because we're not stupid people. Like we can understand concepts of things.4 (6m 47s):The thing that got me off of cryptocurrency and, and FTS and all that is that it's so bad for the environment, blockchain, the amount of energy that's required to power blockchain is just like so destructive.2 (7m 3s):Okay. So this leads me to, so Lamont was like, you know, what's going on in the coworking row storage room. And I'm like, what? And of course me, I'm like, are there, is there like a torture chamber? That's why Was like, no, he's like one of the side businesses of the CEO of this place is to host these crypto machines that, that it's like credit card terminals, but for crypto. And so all the, all the crypto exchanges that go on need checks and balances, God, he's such a good teacher. He actually explained it to me. He's like, look, you, when you do a crypto exchange with somebody that has to be checked or else, how do you know you're actually getting shit, which is all like theoretical anyway.2 (7m 47s):But he's like, so then you have to create these machines that check the other machines. And those are some of those. And you get paid. It's just like having credit card terminals, right? It's like selling credit cards. You know, people that sell credit card terminals, like they make money off the, the things, the exchanges, the, the transactions, right? Transaction fees. It's like 10, 10 cents of whatever or something 4 cents. So we got machines in the fucking co-working that have nothing to do with coworking. And I re one day it was hotter than fuck over here. They take a lot of energy and Lamont Lamont goes to the guy, the crypto bro. Who's also the CEO of this coworking space who really wants to just be the crypto, bro.2 (8m 27s):He's like, listen, bro. Like, something's going to melt down. You got to have something to cool. These machines. I mean, it's a fucking disaster waiting to happen. We're all going to burn up because this motherfucker wants to do crypto. He's not even dude. He's just doing the terminals. They're called terminals. No wonder my motherfucking internet doesn't work. How much juice do these motherfuckers take? I got pissed. I got Lamont. And I got pissed. I said and Lamont so funny. He goes, yeah, I don't mind all this like virtual crypto shit, but I need some actual motherfucking green tee up in here. You haven't had green tea up in here for days.4 (9m 6s):This is what I'm going to say. This is a, like, when you all of this, when all of this starts swirling in my head and it's all overwhelming, I just go, oh, like, okay. But that's not for me. Like this whole ether, a world that's cotton candy furniture. Like that's not for me. I have to stick with what I know. I like go stick with your, with, with what's in your CTA, what's in your wheelhouse.2 (9m 30s):Right. She taught us. Catherine taught us that, right?4 (9m 33s):No, it was a2 (9m 35s):Catherine's job. Oh,4 (9m 38s):Josh. Yeah. Yeah. He was talking about, the programs are called the, your concentration is called dementia anyway, like in the same way that, you know, people create art that other people criticize. And then you say, well, it's not for you. Like, I just know that none of that is for me. So, you know, because here's the thing we Erin and I have had near misses on like a bunch of bubbles. Right? We lived in California, we lived in the bay area during the, what they used to call the.com. And all of our friends had these hundred thousand dollars a year jobs and worked at Google and places and got Friday night, beer parties and lunch catered, whatever, every single day.4 (10m 23s):And we were just like, oh my God, we're so dumb. We can't, we don't know how to work in tech. We don't, we can't get to me take advantage of this opportunity. Then it was the housing market. And in 2004, it's like, wow, you could get a house. Like we could buy a house. Somebody would give us a mortgage. When we have no money in so much debt, we thought we should buy a house. We looked into buying a house that didn't work out. That turned out to be a good thing. I think the crypto thing is another, like, I'm not saying it's a bubble. Although it probably is. Cause we have to be in a bubble. But I'm saying like, I put myself at ease about not being able to really grasp these things by just saying like, oh, that's not for me.4 (11m 10s):That's not what I'm, that's not what I'm really like here on this planet to eat, to do2 (11m 16s):It interests me. And also, yeah, it's so bad for the environment. And also I just don't give a fuck. Also give me my fuck. Oh, we haven't had creamer up in this bitch for like, and I started, I was like, I don't give a fuck what you do here, but I need creamer. So if you don't like it and they finally got it, you bet your ass when Lamont and I were like, okay, green tea, we need it. And they got it. Cause we were like, fuck you. Like we're not stupid. And then the other thing that I wanted to say about the whole Bitcoin, oh the minimalist movement that these, these kids that are in their thirties are doing okay, listen to this. This is insane.2 (11m 56s):So kids are having and kids. Yeah. They're like 30, right? They're buying Teslas. Okay. But great. They buy a Tesla. Teslas are now equipped with so much shit that you can basically live in it. As long as you have a charging, they fucking park their shit and their parents' house. I'm not kidding you. So a lot of them were living with their parents. Right. And they were like, well, this fucking sucks, but they're saving all this money. Right. Cause it's so expensive. So there's sock away, their money. They buy a Tesla, they park the Tesla in their parents' fucking driveway. And they do experiments where they plug in and then they see if they can live in it. Okay. This is like a real thing.2 (12m 37s):Right? So it has everything you need except a shower and the bed, or like you, your seats go down. It's actually an, a toilet shower and a toilet. And then they get, so they have a Tesla,4 (12m 48s):They get,2 (12m 49s):They get, they get, they get a gym membership. Okay. So they had a Tesla and a gym membership and that's all they need. And they fucking don't own shit except crypto currency in their Tesla and fucking go around to different cities. And there's like all these Airbnb hacks and, and rental car hacks that if they travel, they travel around the country. Like the guy who is the CEO of this place, doesn't live here. He lives kind of an Austin kind of here is a test. It is the weirdest thing.4 (13m 22s):Okay. Well, when the Russians send nuclear missiles and we ended up having hand to hand combat with the Chinese or whatever, well, these fighting people gonna to do nothing.2 (13m 32s):I don't know how to do nothing. There'll be dead. No, no. But you and I are scrappy. Like we could figure it out. They're dead. And that's fine.4 (13m 41s):I always think of, I just said, I think like people used to hunt, you know, like w w where if our world is predicated on so much pretend and like, and like also just like this very thin margin of, well, it's all fine and good until the power grid goes out. It's all fine. And good until like, suddenly for whatever reason, there is just no internet,2 (14m 3s):Like, or they get hacked. Right,4 (14m 6s):Right. Yeah. It's all fine. And good until like everything that we put our hope hopes and dreams and faith into just doesn't work one day, because that's what happens with machines is they just, sometimes they write2 (14m 17s):And Lamont was saying, and I kind of agree with him that like, what he thinks is happening. So frantically the government is scrambling to get into crypto. Right. Frantically our government is like, we're going to have a fucking stake in this. So what he thinks is going to happen and like agree with him is that they're going to figure out a way to sabotage the crypto system and say, we, we now run the cryptosystem. He's like, I know it's a conspiracy theory, that kind of thing. But of course it's money. Right. So they're going to say, okay, okay. Like you guys are going to get screwed because someone's going to hack, you, let the government take over, we'll run crypto. And then of course,4 (14m 54s):Which takes away the main draw of crypto, which is that it's this currency that cannot be traced to everything. So the second there's any type of regulation that, that, and it's like, well, you might as well just be talking about dollars. Right. Because you know,2 (15m 9s):That's what they're going to do. So it's going to be really interesting to see how this plays out. We'll probably be dead, but that's okay.4 (15m 14s):Yeah. We'll probably be done. I'm watching this television show called severance. Oh,2 (15m 19s):Everybody loves severance.4 (15m 21s):Wow. Wow. Wow. It's it's woo. It's really something else. But what I love about it is it's kind of hard to explain, so I won't try to explain it, but there's suffice it to say the company that these people work for, the job that they do is they sit at these computer terminals and they there's just a screen full of numbers. And they have to put these digits into the correct bins at the bottom.2 (15m 53s):Okay.4 (15m 54s):Based on their feeling about the numbers, like these numbers are scary and these numbers are half. Yeah. It's so weird. Right? When I, when I see them, they're putting the numbers into this little bins in the bottom and I go cut. This is like my daughters, you know, like educational games. She has to do something like this. Well, it gets to the end of the season. And the they've, all this little department has leveled. The there's all this pressure on getting a certain quota by the end of the quarter. And it's, we don't, we're not gonna make it and we're not gonna make it.4 (16m 35s):We're not gonna make it at the last minute. They make it. And what making it looks like for them is that a pixelated cartoon character comes on and says like, basically you leveled up. So really it, I dunno if this is the point that they're trying to make, but it really looks like they're just playing a video game.2 (16m 58s):This is insane. I love it. It's the same.4 (17m 2s):It's really, really good. And I, and I reached out to all of the actors on there and seeing if anybody wants to be on our show, I got one person who was like, oh, that sounds interesting. I'm like, is that a yes and no, I never, I never heard anything back from her, but yeah, listen, humans are designed to work. So when you don't have to literally like, grow your own food and cut down your own wood, you have to find something to do. That feels work, work ish. And I feel like a lot of our industries are kind of work adjacent2 (17m 43s):And like, and like a lot of sorting into bins. Yeah.4 (17m 50s):You2 (17m 50s):See fucking bad vegan.4 (17m 55s):No, I was wondering if I should watch it.2 (17m 57s):Okay. Watch it. And we'll talk about it because whoa. It is, the Myles was a very frustrated with this documentary based on,4 (18m 9s):Oh, it's a documentary. Oh, I thought it was a tele. I thought it was a fictional show.2 (18m 13s):Oh, it they'll make a fictional show out of it. But it's a documentary about a woman who started a vegan restaurant and so much more in New York city. And it comes down to what we always said. And I'll wait until you watch it. But I, it just reinforces what we always talk about, which is if you have an unfulfilled, inner need from childhood, that shit will play out. I could trace this, her whole demise, her whole demise. And it's a whole crazy ass fucking story about this woman. Her whole demise comes down to the fact that Alec Baldwin did not pick her to date. Okay. That's it.2 (18m 53s):Okay.4 (18m 54s):Completely plausible. I completely understand that.5 (19m 1s):Let me run this by you.4 (19m 9s):I know my son got this part in a movie. And so the thing we wanted to run by you is I, Hm. So many things I get, I get stage moms. I understand why stage moms is a thing. When my son started getting into acting, he was five years2 (19m 35s):Old. Yeah. It was really young.4 (19m 37s):And my thing was, I don't want to be a stage mom. I don't want to be a stage mom. I don't want to be a stage mum, which was reinforced by every time I've ever been on set. There's always at least one really out of control stage mom. And I think I told the story in the podcast before, but one time we, we were in a, he was doing Gotham that showed Bathum and there was like a gaggle of kids in this scene. And this one boy, I was just, you know, whatever. I was striking up a conversation with him and I said, oh, do you, do you really want to be an actor? And he said, no, my father makes me do this. I want to be at school.4 (20m 17s):And it was just so2 (20m 19s):Like,4 (20m 19s):God, and I met a lot of kids. This was back when he was doing all just all background stuff. I met a lot of that's where you find the most stage moms when the kids are like that, the stakes are just, couldn't be lower. Right. You know, they're just doing background, extra work, which is all just to say, though, I've had to be in dialogue with myself about what my aspirations are about working in film and television and my frustrated aspirations. And I, you know, I've had to just be constantly talking to myself about making sure that this is what he wants and not what I want. And in the classic thing that always happens is when he gets an audition, if he doesn't feel like doing it, it just, it becomes this thing.4 (21m 8s):And I always say, you don't have to be an actor. You don't have to have an agent, but if you're going to be an actor and you're going to have an agent, you have to do the audition.2 (21m 18s):That's true.4 (21m 19s):And you have to work at it and you have, you have to work hard at it. And that thing is actually really hard. And it takes a lot of work that we just kind of overcame this obstacle for the audition for this movie, because I made him put in maximum effort. Usually I don't usually, I'm just like, well, it's his career, you know, it's his life. If he doesn't want to work on it, why am I going to spend, you know, my whole time? But I'm really encouraged him to work on it. And he really did. And he did really well. And so now we're waiting to hear, you know, whether or not he's gotten it, but the first night that this was a thing, I couldn't sleep. I was awake. Like, I mean, part of it is thinking about the logistics.4 (22m 1s):Like how will I live in LA for a month when I have two other kids. Right. But the other part of it is just, what is this going to mean for him to, what's going to be what's next and what's next and what's next. And what's next. So I've talked a lot of shit about stage moms in the past. And I just want to say, if you're listening to this in your stage, mom, I get it. I get, I get, you know, because maybe this was your hope and dream, but also maybe just, you put a lot of effort into when you're the mom of the kid who wants to do this, it's so much work for the mom or the dad was the case may too much. It's, it's scheduling babysitters when you have other kids2 (22m 43s):Driving4 (22m 44s):Into the city for auditions paying for headshots every year, because they change so much every year communicating with doing the cell. I had to learn. This is actually how I learned how to do I moving because I had to, you know, work, learn how to edit his self-tapes and stuff like that. So, but have you encountered stage moms? Oh,2 (23m 7s):That's a great question. Yes. And I feel like I totally understand how moms and dads get and caretakers get to be that way. And I think also to remember for me is that it comes from this genuine usually place to want to help and protect your kid. And, and also, and then you mix that in with your own aspirations, which I would have to, if I had a child that I was shoveling around and also, yeah, I would encounter that. So I think I get it. And I also know that like when I worked at casting and at PR and I loved it, but they would occasionally be like moms that would bring in their kids or dads, but usually it's moms.2 (23m 57s):Right. Of course, who bring in their kids that were desperate to get the kid into the face of the casting directors. So they'd hang around. They didn't want to ingratiate themselves to casting at the audition. They'd come into the office and, and, you know, to their credit of my bosses, PR casting, they were lovely. Like they, but, but they also had work to do so. It was like, these kids are just sort of standing there smiling. And the mom is like pushing them and we all, it was very uncomfortable and it doesn't actually work like what works is being professional on set, doing a great job in the room, being a nice kid and being a nice parent, but it just feels like, and we know this from being actors.2 (24m 45s):It just feels like you have to like, sort of ingratiate and push yourself into the faces of the people with power in order to get anywhere. So then there's like these really uncomfortable moments of like talking about nothing while we're trying to get work done in the office, especially like, yeah, they have a lot of work to do. So it was just, it was just very, and you'll see when we go to PR like it's all glass. So like, you can see what the casting directors are doing in the office. So you want to be in there because it looks really fun.4 (25m 16s):Right. And2 (25m 18s):Actors who are like, quote, special, get to go in there and say, hi, like I'm friends with the, with the casting directors is the, is the idea. I'm not saying I'm like someone is, and then they get to go. It's just like a really weird thing. And it's also, it's very hard to navigate and I get it too. We, we, we want to be liked and loved and picked and chosen. And it is a universal thing.4 (25m 44s):I want the same thing for our kids. Yeah. Yeah. Totally.2 (25m 48s):I don't. I've had never had anyone that has been bonkers, you know, but maybe, yeah. I never, yeah, never.4 (25m 55s):Yeah. I think really they're bonkers behavior. I think actually, probably the kids are the ones who absorbed the brunt of it, which is, you know, and also it's really hard to teach a kid about acting because you're, as we've said many times, you're, you're trying to figure out how to play a character when you don't even know who you are. I mean, that's really true for a kid and trying to teach them, it's supposed to be it's. Yes. It's pretend, but you're supposed to be sincere and no, you're not the character, but yes, you have to be there. It's a lot of mental gymnastics,2 (26m 32s):Impossible. And like, if you don't know how to communicate that to a kid, let alone, the kid know how to do it. It's a mess. And then you're just, it's just kind of a crap shoot. Like, especially when you wouldn't see that were two and three years old.4 (26m 47s):Oh, see, now that I can't2 (26m 51s):Was like, yeah, some kids are, I mean, it's just to me, I thought it was amazing, but I also didn't have an agenda. I'm trying to get shit done. Like the directors and the producers on the, everyone is trying to get shit done in the room. And I have a kid doesn't, you know, whatever the kid is literally three years old. So like, I thought it was amazing, but I, they it's, it's a nightmare.4 (27m 15s):Yeah. Did I ever tell you the story of when I taught drama to kindergarten?2 (27m 21s):I know you did, but I don't know.4 (27m 24s):I had this job at this school called head Royce in the bay area. I got a job teaching after-school drama to kindergartners. It might've been my very first teaching thing. No, but it was early on and I hadn't taught, I certainly hadn't taught like my full-time teaching job that I eventually had at a middle school, but not having children and not having taught. I thought we were just going to do a play, you know, like They were going to memorize their lines. I seriously thought I seriously picked a play.2 (28m 5s):What was it? Do you remember? Was it like fucking, wouldn't it be funny if it was like, you know,4 (28m 10s):Romeo and Juliet2 (28m 11s):Steel Magnolias or something like just like totally amazing.4 (28m 15s):And it was age appropriate because it, it, it turned out to have whatever it was. I can't remember. But it was also a children's book, which I, oh, oh yeah. Oh, sorry. I adapted a children's book.2 (28m 29s):Oh my God. Okay.4 (28m 32s):And the entire time we were working on it, it never occurred to me that they couldn't memorize their lives. I just kept being like, well, maybe by next week, they'll know it. My next week they'll know it until it came time to do the performance and all the parents came and I shit, you not, it didn't occur to me until all the parents were walking in. Every single one of them had a video camera. This is before cell phones that, oh my God, they are expecting a show. And I guess I was too. And they don't know, we don't have a shell.2 (29m 7s):It look like my God, this is brilliant.4 (29m 10s):I got to the point for awhile. I was like doing the knee. I was the narrator. Right. And, and then they was supposed to be saying their lines, but then they would never say their lines. So then basically what it amounts to is I just read the entire book. Would2 (29m 26s):They do4 (29m 27s):Well, the kids just stood there. And the middle of it, when kid in the middle of my, and of course the more anxious and, and terrible, I felt like the more forced and forced, I must have looked crazy. I wish I could say videos. I bet I looked like a complete lunatic and in the middle of it as, and I'm also getting louder and louder. It's like, I would love to, I'm sure those parents are erased, taped over those tapes, but I would love to see just frantic me and I'm getting read By the time it was over, I just went to the headmaster's office.4 (30m 16s):And I was like, I did a terrible job. You should never hire me again. This was a complete disaster. And they were like, yeah, maybe this isn't your thing.3 (30m 39s):Today on the podcast, we were talking to Joe, the seal, Joe is an actor and a writer and a content creator and a former Neo futurist. He has got a going on and he is lovely and charming and personable and a marketing genius. He has his own company. Now. He is all that. And the bag of chips as the kids used to say five years ago. And I hope you really enjoy our conversation with Joseph.4 (31m 21s):You still have that fabulous smile.7 (31m 27s):You were so sweet. It's so good to see both. Oh my goodness.4 (31m 31s):What you, what you don't have. What I remember is big hair. Oh, Well, you're a handsome bald bald man. So you can play.7 (31m 42s):Oh, thank you. Go on. Go on.4 (31m 45s):I will. I will. I will. But I'll start by saying congratulations. JoBeth seal. You survived theater school.7 (31m 51s):I did.4 (31m 52s):Yes. And you survived it with us mostly with bod. You guys are graduated in the same year, I think.2 (31m 58s):Yeah.7 (31m 59s):Yeah, we did. Yeah. Do you remember that year? We were in the same section, Johnny.2 (32m 4s):Here's what I remember about you. We went to a Halloween party together with my roommate with a non theater school, like my best friend, Sasha, who Gina knows Sasha and Carsey. And we went to a freaking Halloween party in the suburbs and you had the best costume ever. It was a robot. And you remember any of this? You look,7 (32m 24s):Oh my God. I don't know2 (32m 25s):Brilliance.8 (32m 27s):It7 (32m 27s):Was like, I was a robot. Wow.2 (32m 29s):Like a whole situation. And it was like, we had the best time, but it was like, we didn't know anybody. It was like in the suburbs. It was my friend.4 (32m 37s):Did he make2 (32m 38s):That? Yeah, it was all made. It was so good. Anyway, that's what I remember. That's the main thing that I remember being like, oh my God. His costume. Brilliant. So anyway, I do remember. I mean, I remember, yeah. I mean, remember bits and pieces. I remember that, like I thought you were like super nice. And also, yeah, that we all just were trying to figure it out. Like nobody knew what the hell was going on.7 (33m 7s):Yeah, no, I remember when you joined our section, we were so excited that like someone new was going to like join and we all knew of you, but we didn't know. And I remember that year, you were just like a breath of fresh air. You were just so direct and funny. And you know, I think at that point we were just getting a little tired and you just brought a lot of really beautiful energy into our sections.2 (33m 36s):Oh, the other thing I want to say before I forget is that I, when I was doing research on you, like just to catch up on you and stuff, there's other people with your name that, that some, some before like wild, like one, one guy, like a couple like therapists, couple has Lisa and Joe have your name and, and are like infomercial kind of P anyway, I just thought it was hilarious. And then there's another actor.7 (34m 3s):Yes. There's another actor in what had actually happened one year. It was, I was put in the DePaul, the theater school, alumni newsletter that I was on six feet under and all of this stuff. So people started reaching out to me and it was the other job.4 (34m 20s):That's funny. That's funny. I wonder about those alumni. So it's just, I mean, I guess you've answered the question is somebody scouring the trains or whatever, looking for names that they2 (34m 32s):Used to be John Bridges. And then I think also people submit themselves, which is so, I mean, I get it, but it's also like, I don't have time for that. I mean, like, I mean, not that I'm doing anything that fancy, but like, I, there's something weird about being like, Hey John Bridges, can you put me in the alumni news? I don't know. I'd rather be4 (34m 55s):Except for like your, but that's what it is. Right. That's what you have to do. That's what it's all about the network. I mean, I haven't ever done it either, but2 (35m 6s):I mean, I did it when I had a solo show because I thought, okay, in Chicago, maybe people will come, so I have done it, but I, I just,7 (35m 14s):Yeah, for promo, I think it might be helpful in some instances, but2 (35m 19s):Whatever it is4 (35m 22s):Actually the beginning you're from long island7 (35m 25s):And you have4 (35m 26s):Zero long island accent. Was that very intentional?7 (35m 30s):Well, it's so funny. You mentioned that because I think that was such a big thing my first year. And it really kind of changed the way I speak, because I felt like I was a fast talking like long island kid. And my speech really slowed down that first and second year. Cause I was so conscious of it. So the, after that first year, I think, you know, yoga between yoga and all the voice and speech stuff, like I was like standing up straight and talking like standard American, like, you know, whatever that was that we learned.4 (36m 5s):Like you had to do that in your, not what, even when you weren't on stage.7 (36m 10s):I mean, that was, that was a thing I think back then, I didn't really understand the distinction. I felt like I, I, I had to speak that way on stage and then it just transferred over to my real life. Also, you know, looking back, I was like, oh, you know, I wish I would have been able to make the distinction in my real life that I don't have to speak like this, but it's hard to learn something and practice it. Like I couldn't just practice that in class. It would have just been too difficult, but I started speaking a lot slower just because I was really conscious of the all sounds I was making, like all the sounds and, and I, it was pretty thick. I don't know. I don't know if you all knew me back then, but it was, there were some words I had never heard pronounced.4 (36m 52s):Well, I don't recall you as, I mean, I was surprised to learn that you were from long island and looking at your history because yeah. It seemed, it seemed like you had erased it. So were you the only person from, from New York in your class?7 (37m 10s):No. There were a cup there. Ed Ryan was also from New York. Yeah, but he was from Scarsdale, I think. And then I w I might've been the only one from long island, at least in my class that I remember.4 (37m 23s):And did you have DePaul as your, I mean, is that, was that the school you wanted to go to or your safety?7 (37m 30s):Oh my God. I was all about NYU. I was all about it. And then even before I went to, you know, before I started applying for colleges, my senior year, I went to a summer program at NYU. And at the time there was something called musical theater, works conservatory. And I spent a whole summer doing like conservatory training and, you know, to earn college credit. And it was such a great program at the time too, because we took classes during the day. And then the evening we saw shows and did all this cultural stuff. So after that experience, I was, I just wanted to go to NYU and I just loved it. I loved the city and then I didn't get, I didn't get in.7 (38m 16s):And then I was deciding between DePaul and Emerson and I visited both schools. And when I went to visit DePaul, I know you all had Bradley Walker. And I stayed, he probably doesn't remember this, but I totally stayed with him in the dorms. And the other weird kind of quirky thing I remember was I, I went to his dorm room and he was eating dog food. Like he was eating out of a box2 (38m 44s):And wait,7 (38m 45s):Wait, yeah, hear me out here. So he's like, do you want some? And I was like, okay, sure. You know, peer pressure. So I ate the dog food, like out of the box, it was like dry dog food. And he's like, yeah, it's just, we like how it tastes and it's cheap. And then like, after he told me it was just like cereal and they just like, say like, they put this cereal in the dog food box anyway,4 (39m 9s):Like7 (39m 11s):Quirky things that I remember about that weekend.2 (39m 15s):So here's the thing as a 46 year old tired ass lady. I'm like, who the fuck has time to be switching foods into different modifiers. I can barely get my shoes on 18 year olds who are in college. Like the good quirky marketing. It reminds me of something they might've done. And say that movie with Janine Gruffalo and Ben Stiller, whatever that movie was that they did about gen X, whatever, like reminds me of something like, Hey, let's switch the food into the, but anyway. Okay. So was he nice to you?7 (39m 54s):Oh my God. He really sold me on the school and not, he wasn't trying to sell me on the school. He's like, this is where we do this. And he took me on a tour of the theater school and, you know, I loved that it was in an elementary school and I visited in June, which is like a beautiful time of being in Chicago. And I mean, after that experience, I was just completely sold and I, it was cool. Cause I went by myself like my mom, just let me just go to all these places to visit and like got off the, you know, I took the train, I took the L to the school and everything and, and it was, it was cool. I felt like it was a really good fit. So it worked out nicely.4 (40m 33s):You did a bunch of things though. After theater school, you moved back to New York and got very involved in theater. So tell us about that epoch.7 (40m 42s):Yeah, I mean, I think I did a couple of shows in Chicago and I had major FOMO of what was going on in New York and I felt like I was missing out. And I think, you know, I had audition for a lot of stuff in Chicago and I just didn't wasn't landing things. And then, you know, when I moved to New York, I wanted to focus more on directing and writing. And I did an intern. I did a couple of internships, but I did want to ensemble studio theater. And that was super helpful because as part of the internship, you were in an actor director writing lab and yeah, and it was, I think the first time I had been in a place where you can kind of cross over and do different things.7 (41m 27s):And also the, we had a, a lab director who really kind of just taught me, like how to like give feedback to myself and how to give feedback to others. Like the big thing that she would always ask is like, after we would present some kind of work, she would just say like, what do you need to know in order to move forward with the work? Like, what is important to you? And we really, you know, we had a small group and we really experimented within that. And then after the internship, some of us kind of like stuck together. And I mean, at the time too, there were, there were a ton of interns. There was like over 20 and they gave us the keys to the theater.7 (42m 7s):And we had like, there were a couple of theaters there. So we would do our shows like on the top floor of, of, of the theater there on 52nd street and, you know, hang out after and drink beer. And like, I mean, something that probably is not happening today, but it was, it was a really co like a good landing pad for me. So just to meet other people.2 (42m 28s):Okay. So if we take it back a little bit, like when you work, cause I'm curious about that. So like, you didn't have FOMO about LA, right? Like moving to LA when everyone moved to LA or did you like when you graduated from DePaul and I asked, because now you're here obviously in Southern California, but also because it sounds like New York to you based on you, the summer program you did and stuff was sort of the, like in your brain, like the utopia Mecca for actors, but you, so you felt a FOMO, but like showcase wise. Cause I love the good showcase story where you focused on New York, like, cause you did we, did we go to, no, we didn't go to New York, but we7 (43m 7s):Did know.2 (43m 8s):So how, how did you make the choice to go? Not to LA? Like how did that go down?7 (43m 13s):Yeah. I mean, we took a, that film class our last year with Gerard. I don't know if you remember him.2 (43m 20s):Fuck.7 (43m 21s):Yeah. We took a film class. Yeah. We all, we all did. I think that's what his name was and that2 (43m 29s):Class.7 (43m 30s):Yeah. We took a film class where we did a scene on camera and I, the it call experience was like horrific.2 (43m 39s):Oh, I remember it was bad for all of them.7 (43m 43s):I have like a little breakdown after, cause I was like, I don't, I just felt very, you know, self-conscious, I mean, we had spent like years doing theater and I never really looked at myself. And then I was not like a theater snob at all. Like I was willing to do anything. I would do voice or do film, but I just didn't feel comfortable with the camera at all. And I think by the last year or two, I really started to get more interested in like experimental theater and performance art. And I felt there was more of that in New York at the time or maybe I was just unaware of it in Chicago and I wanted to lean in that direction.7 (44m 25s):And that's another reason I kind of went to New York also.2 (44m 28s):Yeah.7 (44m 29s):Yeah. I wasn't seeing that as much. Like I remember there were some companies in Chicago that did some really beautiful pieces, like all the Mary Zimmerman pieces I loved. And I was like, Ugh, that was like, all those were like the Northwestern kids who were in those shows.2 (44m 45s):Oh, I remember what metamorphosis happened. And everyone was like, we all want it to be in metamorphosis. And none of us got in because she of course chose Northwestern kids because that's who she taught and that's where she went. Right. And so whatever.7 (44m 59s):Yeah. And I ended up seeing that in New York anyway, when it was there. So it was like anything like that would eventually go to New York to,4 (45m 6s):And you did a lot, you worked a lot in New York theater, you worked at roundabout and you, and you worked for the Neo futurists, which I love that. I mean, I, that show too much light makes the baby go blind, which is now called infinite infinite wrench, wrenches that it's called.7 (45m 23s):Yeah.4 (45m 24s):I love that show. Tell me everything about being a part of that.7 (45m 28s):Yeah. You know, at that I first saw that show in Chicago when I was like right outside of, no, I saw my first year when I was 17 and then someone from DePaul had like a friend of mine had brought me to it and I, I loved it and then kind of forgot about it. And then I auditioned in Chicago for it when I was 21 and I was just not ready for it. And then when I moved to New York, I was there for maybe two or three years. I discovered that they had had started the show there. And I mean, that really kind of shifted so much for me. I, well, for one thing, it was like, it was so great to meet a group of people who were passionate about the same thing, like the aesthetic, you know, passion about being ensemble.7 (46m 19s):And that show is like so challenging and fun and stressful, but also like super rewarding. And also at the same time, you know, it kind of changed the dynamic I had as an actor and artists with the audience, because it's so rare as an actor that you get to just like be yourself on stage. It's like rarely happens at all. So to on a weekly basis, just stand in front of an audience and like be yourself. And then, and then also think about like what you want to say and how you want to say it. And you know, like through movement or puppetry or through humor or through earnestness or do something concise conceptual or abstract or, you know, and I did some like crazy shit,2 (47m 10s):Like what was your, what was your favorite cause like what I'm noticing and what as you're talking, what I'm remembering about you is that yeah. Like literally you, you, my experience of you and when we knew each other back in the day, was that yet you did not, you, you, you wanted to sort of push the envelope and step outside of the bounds of what we were learning at the theater school. Like you just had an experimental, like heart about you. So I guess my question is like onstage. What do you remember about to my, about the Neo futurist that like really sticks to you? Like performance wise? Like what was so special? Like when did she7 (47m 48s):So many things? I mean, I think, well, the craziest thing I did was take a shit on stage with someone2 (47m 57s):I never heard about this.7 (47m 60s):It was actually a very like poignant play about like writing. It was with my mentor who was, and then you have you trust and we have the same name and we both, the play was actually called untitled number two. And we had this thing in common before we would perform, we would always like have to take a pill. So I just wrote this play about that experience. And to me, like he was, you know, offered me so much advice and so many, you know, really kind of mentored me through being a new, a futurist. And so I wrote this play in homage to him and, you know, as a gift and a sense. So at the end we like produced.7 (48m 41s):We like, we were actually, we put in a bucket and then at some point we, you know, we turned the bucket over and then, which was really hard to do. Cause I have to like, hold my poo in all day. And I was like, it was not sure what was going to come out at a certain, but I also did other2 (48m 54s):So. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess because, okay, so like the old summit stage fright I think is about being a failure for me on stage, like being embarrassed, being shamed, being all the things, right? Like that's what makes me panic on stage. Right? So this is an experience where you literally are like showing your insides, like take excrement, like on stage for the sake of art and for the sake of, but like, was it freeing?7 (49m 26s):Yeah. I mean, there was, I really never forget when I first run that I did my good friend, Erica, who I met during the new futurist and who I'm still really good friends with now. She said to me, she's like, if you fuck up, you have to let it go because you'll ruin the moment that you're in. And the next moment. So there are so many times, I mean, it was, we would learn things like the day before, the day of, and it was inevitable that we were going to fuck up. So all of that perfectionism, you had to kind of leave at the door. And, and that moment I remember sometimes like being on stage and being like, I have a line coming up. I don't even know what that line is.7 (50m 9s):And here you are. And then you just kind of like, say whatever comes out of your mouth and it's just becomes part of the show. So it was really freaky for me, who I felt like at school, I was not a perfectionist, but I did do a lot of homework to make things go. Right. I had to just let, I mean, another moment to, I, we did this like dance number where we had, we had these masks, there weren't masks. They were like plastic plates with smiling faces on them. And we didn't get a chance to rehearse the dance number before we went on. So I was beat backstage and someone was telling me like what the dancing2 (50m 48s):Score.7 (50m 52s):So I had my glasses on, like with this plate pressed against me and I hardly could see. And I was just like, all right, I'm just going to like follow the person in front of me and just see what happens. And then I think that's on YouTube somewhere of me like,4 (51m 7s):Oh, well, they wait. So I'm glad that you started to speak to being a perfectionist in undergrad because it wasn't until you use that word about perfectionism that I, that rung a bell. Oh yeah. You were perfectionists or, or maybe you were just one of these people that, you know, like we've talked to before who took theater school rarely, seriously, and maybe didn't care for people who didn't. I don't know if that's true about you or not, but how have you wrestled with your perfectionism as a performer and as a writer?7 (51m 42s):Yeah, I mean, I think what was school? I had like a very different experience. My first two years, compared to the second two years, I was certainly a big nerd my first two years. And I wish I had it cause when I knew this was coming up and I couldn't find it, I think it's at my sister's place someplace, but I have a journal that I kept used to write after every acting class. And I would write like what happened and then I'd give myself some like insights and recommendations for like next time I still have it. It's just, I have to find it. And when I do I'll, I'll, I'll send you. Cause I think I was, it was, I definitely documented everything that happened.7 (52m 25s):Like breakdowns, like being really angry, being really happy, like all that kind of stuff.2 (52m 32s): coffee table book, like, like, like acting notes from a teenager, like, like, or like, I don't know. I think it could be really great, but, and with pictures, cause you're an artist the whole, anyway,7 (52m 49s):I will, I will scan a good journal entry and I'll send it to both of you when I find it. But I think, you know, writing that really helped me, I think thrive the first two years was like the writing aspect of it and reflecting on it. And I think in terms of what I do now, like I need breaks and that's how I handle like dealing with perfectionism. Now I sometimes like I've just kind of started to develop a writing practice the past two years. And I know when it's time to stop. And usually it's when I stop, I know I need to like go for a walk and reflect or just let it go.7 (53m 29s):And then like,2 (53m 30s):'cause, that's what your friend Erica told you. It's like, you have to, we have to just let it go at a certain point in order to not because what happens right. As fear begets, fear, begets perfectionism. So on stage, if something goes awry, since we're all artists, we can relate, like if something goes awry and you stay stuck in the earth, wryness you really miss out on what's coming next. And also you're destined to fuck up. What's coming next. So that letting go for you, it sounds like it's really important in order to move on now, even not on stage. Like, and so you, you say like writing and walking helps you let go and you've realized that like to move on.2 (54m 10s):Yeah.7 (54m 11s):Yeah. And I it's so funny. We were talking about letting go. Cause when I auditioned for the Neos, we had to write a play about our biggest challenge. And to me it was letting go and I wrote this play, well, we didn't say any words, but we, there was a paper shredder on stage. And then I wrote out like a word or two on a piece of paper and then like put it through the shredder. And then we gave like, we held out pens or markers to the audience and then like the audience could come up and write something and then shred it. And it was like very powerful. Cause like some people would write like, you know, my, you know, my ex-boyfriend or like envy or, you know, last seasons, like fashion collection or whatever it is, you know, that they wanted to let go of.7 (54m 59s):But I think to me that is something that's still, you know, resonates of like how, how do I let go? You know, like through meditation, through like the walking for me is a meditation and that's, that's usually like, it's a big part of my process just to take the time, you know, to take the time between creation, I guess.4 (55m 20s):What have you learned that you've had to let go in terms of how you saw yourself as an artist when you started school, versus when you came out, like in the time that you've been able to reflect? What, what I mean? Cause we, we had lots of ideas about our spas and I had lots of ideas about ourselves and who we were as artists and whoever people. And most of those were all completely, they were wrong. So, so this podcast has been a process of letting go of some of those antidotes. What's it been like for you?7 (55m 53s):Yeah, I mean a big thing for me at school I remember was I know I've listened to a ton of episodes and I feel like I was really at war with myself. You know, I, the criticism from the teachers wasn't as big of a deal as the, as the criticism that I gave myself. Like I, I never, there was no self validation at all. Like even when I did something, well, I never told myself I, there was always something wrong. And I think that has been a big part of my adulthood is just learning to give myself a gold star and to self validate and then also to learn, to understand permission, to get feedback.7 (56m 44s):And you know, I think that was something that was always a little challenging at theater school too, was, you know, I like, you know, the, the lab director that I mentioned earlier at EST, who would say like, what do you need to know in order to move forward? So often at school we weren't in control of the feedback that we got. So I think sometimes it was really challenging for me when I was like, I'm not ready for all of this or I don't need to know that. Why are you telling me that now? Or, you know, we couldn't, I couldn't control any of that. And maybe I needed to let go of that. And I did have a little bit of a habit and, and a little reputation for walking out of class.7 (57m 32s):Yeah. And it was, it was something I had to address and something, a lot of teachers talk to me about. And I mean, often it was because I was bored or just like needed a break, or I was like, I didn't want to like watch someone or whatever it was. And2 (57m 46s):I think it's really bold. Like what the fuck, man? I wish the one time I did that, I, I like got in big trouble for it. And like, but like whatever the reason is you were on some level trying to take care of yourself. Right. And so good for you. Like, fuck that. I don't know. I like it. I probably would be like, oh, oh, that's awesome. And secretly I'm like, oh, the audacity, the amazing audacity of Joe to walk out and inside. I'm probably like, I wish I could do that. But anyway, so7 (58m 20s):Yeah, I mean, to me it was, it was self care in a way. And that was before we knew anything about that. And you know, when I think of like what I was going through at the time too, was it was such an emotional time for me, like for so many reasons. And, you know, like, you know, being away from home and coming out of the closet and like, you know, like all the money struggles I had and like, I, you know, it just kind of gave me, I was just learning how to take care of myself. And then on top of all those things, like studying drama, like, okay, this is the perfect time to study drama now, you know, and even like doing all the things that we did, like, especially the movement stuff always had kind of profound effect on me.7 (59m 8s):Cause we were like retraining how to the nervous system, that sense of like freeing our natural voice and doing all these things. So I was really emotional, like the first two years a lot. And I would just leave to kind of like collect my thoughts and not like have a major breakdown in class or dumb about something that yeah.4 (59m 25s):To modulate. Right. Because that's what you, what you definitely have no control over is modulating the flow of feedback because it's not just feedback from your teachers. We're getting feedback from our peers. And sometimes you'd get feedback from peers that you didn't really respect them. So you were like, I'm not sure what to, I'm not sure what to make of this.2 (59m 42s):What's becoming clear. Is that based on what you experienced after that with the lab is that we needed a feedback class. Like we needed a literal class of how to give and receive feedback at the theater school would have been fucking phenomenal.7 (59m 58s):Oh my God. I know it wasn't until years later when I was a Neo that we learn, the, the show was on, I think east fourth street and right next to his New York theater workshop. And they do the Liz Lurman feedback method, which I love. And I'm like, oh my God, that was really a beginning point for me because then it just to follow that structure is brilliant. Like, just start with what you were struck by. I don't need your opinion right away on what to change. Look, just tell me what you were struck by what moments did you enjoy? What, you know, what questions do you have and then, or asking questions yourself. And I mean, maybe the school does that now, but I think that was really, that was really big for me.7 (1h 0m 39s):I, for any artist, whether you're a dancer or2 (1h 0m 41s):No matter whether you're a child getting feedback from your parent or a spouse, getting feedback from your other spouse or whatever, it, it, it works in all levels. And I think that what it does though, is disrupts the hierarchy of the power in an institution. And so nobody likes that. I mean, really like teachers need to feel like they're in control, right. Instead of what struck me, let's stay curious, let's stay open. That's not how conservatories are made. Like that's not the whole goal of them. And then maybe I hope they're changing, but like, yeah. Oh, I just love that you haven't had that experience after school with both the, the, the work in New York and the, the ensemble work you did and the Neo futurists sort of sh it sounds like it's really shaped your work moving forward as an artist, right?7 (1h 1m 34s):Yeah. I mean, it was really, I have to say, I mean, after that moment of being a Neo futurists, I was like, I don't think I can play a character ever again. I don't really know it can happen cause I, it just didn't, I, it really changed the dynamic I had with an audience. And I, I guess I didn't want to go back to what it was before also being a Neo. I had to let go of really all the things I had learned at school, in a sense, I mean, all I could really use was like maybe some of the voice and speech work we had done, but I, I mean, yeah, it really kind of shifted things for me, but being in that ensemble was great.7 (1h 2m 14s):Cause I, I, you know, we really learned how you really need to learn how to give and take and to, and, but also be an advocate for your own work because every week, you know, you had to kind of bring in something and you had to pitch it. You had to sell it to the five or six people who were deciding what was in the show that week. So it was, I think it's an experience that I, they do workshops, but like, I think everyone should do a workshop in that way because the show itself is living newspaper. So you have to think of like, what is relevant right now? What's relevant to this audience what's relevant in this moment, you know? And how can I bring that on stage?4 (1h 2m 55s):So wait, so you had an interest young in musical theater, but did you follow that? Have you remained interested in musical theater?7 (1h 3m 6s):No. You know what? I know you all have talked about the brochure and so I completely read the brochure wrong when I chose DePaul. Well, a couple of things I had for musical theater, I wanted to get a BFA musical theater. And there aren't a lot of schools that offer that. So I, you know, when I didn't get into some NYU, I was like, okay, well, what other school? So I had to be flexible with that. But the brochure I remember for DePaul the last year we took ensemble class. And I actually thought that that meant that we were in a theater company.7 (1h 3m 48s):So I not only thought that the, like, after you graduated, you're part of an ensemble theater company. So I told everyone, I'm like, I'm going to DePaul. And then I'm in a theater company. And then I thought that like, that was one crazy thing. And then also the movement stuff, which was, I actually really loved, like all the movements that we did. Like, I'm a big, like I'm, I was a big fan of moving to music. Like that was my jam at school. So I thought I was going to be getting some dancing training there, but I kind of, I did let it go. Certainly like, as the years of the2 (1h 4m 26s):Rest of the school, were you in any7 (1h 4m 29s):I wasn't and I really wanted to be, I, we did like Peter pan one year. And Were you in that?2 (1h 4m 38s):No, but Eric was saying was Susan Lee and she talks about it on the podcast.7 (1h 4m 45s):I heard that one. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. But yeah, no, I didn't do any musical theater stuff. I did love all the, we learned like period dance, which I was a big fan of, like, that was2 (1h 4m 57s):Me too. There was a fucking structure and it was like slow. And like, there was a way to do it. I remember the Elizabethan situation maybe, or like there was like this dance with Romeo and Juliet situation. And I loved that. I felt like there were actual steps we could take, there was a pacing to it.4 (1h 5m 21s):And you knew if you got it or not. Right. Like it was, it wasn't nebulous. Like you either understood how to do it or you didn't.7 (1h 5m 27s):Yeah. I thought I was like, I love the ritual of it. And it was, it was great to learn about history in that way too. And I liked all the Labon stuff that we did with Betsy, I thought,2 (1h 5m 38s):Is that the buoyancy and the, this and the, that.7 (1h 5m 42s):Yeah. I loved all of that stuff.2 (1h 5m 44s):Yeah.7 (1h 5m 45s):I mean, it was, you know, it was physically challenging too. We, I remember that thing we did with it was called like chaos, where you had to like go crazy. And4 (1h 5m 55s):I don't remember that.7 (1h 5m 57s):Yeah.2 (1h 5m 57s):It was crazy. And I remember I got such a stiff neck. I had to go to the emergency Because we were going crazy. And the next day I was like, I think I broke my neck, but I didn't break my head. So I had to go to that. And they were like, what did you do where he's like at a headbanging concert? I was like, no, it's a theater school now.4 (1h 6m 23s):Oh, we got another one. We got another theater,2 (1h 6m 27s):Chaos lady. I was like, I can't move. Yeah.4 (1h 6m 31s):Okay. But wait, so tell us about Susan Laurie parks, 365 plays and 365 days.7 (1h 6m 39s):Yeah. So that was, we, the Neos were given a handful of S of days for our scripts from that. And then as an ensemble, we were tasked with like interpreting it in any way that we wanted to. So it was cool to like, do a show at the public. And I remember we did one piece called FedEx to my ex where we had, like, we used actual FedEx boxes, like maybe like 50 or 60 of them. And we, we had letters on them or words and like kind of configured them to, to give messages out to the audience on these boxes.7 (1h 7m 24s):So I love that experience just cause we, as an ensemble, get to LA to celebrate this playwright with other like theater companies from, I think it was from, from all over the place. And it felt, again, like another professional experience, something that we didn't really get a chance to do, because the show that we did on a weekly basis was like on knew sports street at like 11 o'clock at night, you know? And this was more of a, like, you know, a different audience for us, which wasn't,2 (1h 7m 53s):When did you stop working with, is it like once a Neil always said, Neil, can you stop pack in and do stuff? Or like, how does it work?7 (1h 8m 1s):You can. Yeah. So the, I was like a regularly scheduled Neo for about two years or so. And then I jumped in to do the show at other times. And like we did a pride show that I would do often, or I would come in and do a run. And then we also had primetime shows. So I was involved in like two or three prime time shows as either a performer or assistant director or a collaborator in some way. And I did that up until I did some marketing for the company. I did that up until I moved to LA. And even my first year in LA, I did a project at here art center with my, one of my theater heroes chucked me that I went back to to, to see.7 (1h 8m 50s):So, but yeah, when I moved here, I kind of just decided to let, let that go.2 (1h 8m 60s):They're always themes that emerged with people's lives when they come on the show. So for you then stop and starting, like ed Ryan's is being interrupted and yours is like letting things go. So when did you arrive in LA?7 (1h 9m 13s):I moved here. It's been five years. So 2017 or so. And you know, I finally feel like now I'm kind of getting settled. I mean, I'd go back to New York a lot just to hang out and spend time there. And I work remotely. So I'm able to like go there and like work for a couple of weeks. I've learned not to stay too, too long. Cause last summer I was there for six weeks and I was like, oh, I feel like I'm in my old life.4 (1h 9m 42s):How do you satisfy? If you still have a craving for performance, how do you set it? Because now you have your own company you're self-employed, which is awesome. How do yo

Come enjoy a chat with Bradley Walker, as we discuss Call Me Old Fashioned, and his career in Gospel Music.

Bradley Walker is a self- suggestion through our website coming on to tell his journey to the military. He grew up in a small town playing football. In his high school years, he realized he was headed in the wrong direction with the wrong crowd and needed to make a change. He turned to the military even though he didn't have any family members in the military or much support in his decision. Although his initial training had him second guessing his decision, he made it through training, became a CAV scout and later deployed to Iraq. Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors at www.hazardground.com/sponsors! Shop Amazon! As an Amazon Associate We Earn From Qualifying Purchases...You Know The Deal! (Paid Link) Help grow the show! Spread the word, tell a friend!! Subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts! Episode Intro Music: “Prelude” by “Silence & Light” (www.silenceandlightmusic.com) Photo Credit: Bradley Walker

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Intro: Should Boz become a band manager? Let Me Run This By You: When you ASSUME. Interview: We talk to Sarah Charipar about playing old ladies when you're barely an adult.FULL TRANSCRIPTSpeaker 1: (00:08)I'm Jen Bosworth Ramirez and I'm Gina Pulice. We went to theater school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand it. 20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of it all. We survived theater school and you will too. Are we famous yet? Before we begin this episode? Just a little note to say there were some audio problems with this. I did the best I could fixing it up. The content is still good, but you know, sometimes things work out that way. Mercury was in retrograde or something. I'm sure. Anyway, enjoy. Speaker 2: (00:47)Hi. How you doing? How you doing, babe? I stayed up pretty late. You did. Okay. I have these neighbors. Do you know? Oh my God though, that gives me flashbacks. Um, no, no, I have these neighbors, right. I adore them. Okay. They are young, you know, mid, late twenties in a band that I adore and they're trying to get me to be their manager. I don't think that's a great idea just because I don't know how to manage bands. And I am trying to work on my own career, but, but I did give them some feedback, like about how to go about their there's a great band, great kids, you know, kids 20, 27. Yeah. But still kids to me. And, um, anyway, we stayed on the w we have balconies next to each other. So we just sat out there talking while miles, miles was as long asleep at like seven, but I stayed up until nine. Speaker 2: (01:48)So that's late for me. Oh my gosh. I thought all this was building up to like, you stayed up till three in the morning. You got two hours of 7:00 PM. 7:00 PM. Well, he gets up at four. So, um, he goes to bed. No, I shouldn't say last night he did go to bed a little earlier, but usually it's about eight 30, eight, eight 30. It's really quite does he get up at four? Because like, that's his natural body. He likes to do that. He does his burpees. He's Mr. Kind of healthy. He does all this workout stuff and I'm just jealous. That's the reason you didn't see it. But I did like a dismissive hand gestures only because I'm jealous. That's the only reason. So, so he, so anyway, his people were farmers that's. I mean, that's what they say. Like people who are night owls probably have ancestors who were on the night watch, you know, caveman style and people who just a mosquito and people who are early risers were, I mean, I've heard, Oh, I like that. Then that I like that. That means my dad was on the Nightwatch and, uh, or just very Speaker 3: (03:00)Depressed and couldn't go to sleep, but, or I'm going to choose the nightmare. Speaker 4: (03:08)Let me run this by you. Speaker 5: (03:15)I recently called to tell you about, uh, a experience I had with a friend of mine, who I felt like didn't like something I had suggested to them and wasn't responding to my text message and it's, I wasn't, uh, freaked out about it. That's a step forward. And I wasn't even very worried about it, but I thought, okay, well I suggested something to this person. They didn't write me back. My assumption was that they thought it was a terrible idea and didn't want to have any part of it. And I was completely wrong because I had another conversation with this person yesterday. And like, and of course they reason they didn't write me back was completely Speaker 3: (03:56)Had nothing to do logical. Right. And this is Speaker 5: (03:59)So lesson that I can't seem to grasp that. Like my first inclination is always to say, they're mad at me. I did something wrong. Speaker 3: (04:13)Sure. How do I get out of that? I don't know. It's the same. So I think I have the exact same thing. Mine goes mine. It's my first instinct. And I think it's practice of look, actually what I think it is is if you go to that first thing first, which you probably, I probably will, and you probably will, the rest of your life. It's just, just part of the DNA. All right. But the process of working through it right. And getting to the point of being like acceptance of, okay. So if they are mad, okay. So if they are, they hate my guts. Okay. What then, what am I going to, how am I going to take care of myself? If this person is upset or who doesn't want to be my friend or whatever, I think that's the real, um, when of the thing is working through, working with ourselves through that process is the process versus, you know what I'm saying? Like that's the reason it comes up is to, to be worked through and not necessarily that the first instinct will go away because I don't think it will. I just think that's the way we're wired. At least I know that's the way I'm wired. And I think I it's practice of working through so that it becomes less of a whole situation. Um, and more of a, Oh yeah, I did that thing again. Okay. Well, how can I work with myself? Okay. So let me talk it through with somebody, let me, but I, you know, Speaker 5: (05:48)Bernie in that, and I have, I guess now that we're talking about, I guess I have come some, what of a way? I mean, cause it used to just be that I would immediately respond to that person and say like, I'm sorry, I take it back. Or, or like, I know that I know you hate me now. Speaker 3: (06:05)Just start crying profusely, get on the phone and say, I'm sorry, I'm so terrible. Um, and please forgive me. Yeah. Like you said, it was a, be a whole play, a drama Speaker 5: (06:18)And then DBT, uh, I think it was in DBT, but anyway, as a therapist, I would always encourage my clients to check the facts about something, you know, because feelings aren't facts and you know, just because even if you have, even if this person really doesn't care for you, that doesn't mean that every interaction you have you're, you're doing something wrong. You're, you know, you should be put up on the cross. Speaker 3: (06:40)Yeah. It's just ownership of self. And of, I think it really, for me comes down to this core, core, deep, deep belief that I deserve to have my feelings. I deserve to have opinions about things. Um, I deserve to take, um, to take initiative on ideas and even if they're shot down or even if people think it's the stupidest idea in the world, I deserve to throw things out there and see, and you know, it's, it's a deep, deep core situation for me. Yeah. Speaker 5: (07:14)Yeah. It is. And, and I think I I'm really learning. It's there's a big part of it. That's generational too. I mean, you know, when we talk to younger people, they seem a lot less burdened by, I mean maybe sometimes going in the opposite direction. So that was the other thing I was just going to ask you about is now that you've been teaching at DePaul for a minute. Speaker 3: (07:37)Well, now I'm done. It's crazy. Well, I'm not done. I'm done, but yeah, it has been quite the journey. So they're just like us in some ways. It is amazing. So I had 13 individual one-on-ones with these students, um, at 10 minutes each. So I offered one-on-ones because they really wanted that. And they too Speaker 5: (08:06)Knew like her feedback about their Speaker 3: (08:09)Like, to do like therapy. Let's just be honest because they're struggling. And it was my suggestion. It turned into not therapy, but it did turn into a lot of coaching. Let's just say, but they're struggling just like we were, even though there's I would say, yeah, I would say a good 13 out of 24, right. Or 12 out of 24 half are struggling with the exact same thing. I don't have a rep. Other people have reps. Now they get reps before school ends because they they'd been auditioning for, um, agents, um, on zoom. They had like a class where they bring agents in. So half that sets up a dynamic where half the people now have reps and half don't. So the people that don't have acting reps obviously wanted to meet with me partially to say, how do I get a rep? And I'm like, listen, it takes time. You'll find your people. Let me, I, and I offered to help with, I say, send me your showcase link when you have it, your part, your monologue. I will send it to my peeps, but like, it's the same stuff we're dealing. We dealt with. I think they're not quite as quiet about it. Like they're pretty loud about it. Speaker 5: (09:22)They don't have their quiet shame that they'd have to wait 25 years to listen to somebody else on a podcast to go, Oh, I shouldn't have been ashamed about that at all. Everybody was feeling the same thing. Speaker 3: (09:30)Yeah. That they're loud, they're vocal about their issues. So that actually makes it somewhat easier to work with. But it also is. I'm jealous, you know, that they're able to be so vocal. Um, that brings up a lot. I have a lot of feelings of like man D but then at the root they're just as scared as, as we were, well, a lot of them and just as, um, petrified to fail. And just as a, I think it's just an age thing too. And it's also a competition thing. Like there's a lot of competition and within the school, right. Because you set it up, some have repped, some don't and that sets up this whole dynamic of some of these kids or these young people are going on auditions. And they're not like supposed to, but because it's a zoom world, it's a different situation Speaker 5: (10:20)Rule that they're not supposed to, but everybody took advantage of this time. Which of course they did. And I would have thought Speaker 3: (10:26)Of course. And so anyway, it has been, it was in very fascinating ride, but what I did find was, you know, after my 13 one-on-ones I was exhausted. Like I had to lay down, it was like 13 mini therapy sessions. And I was like, and then follow up, you know, I I'm sending certain people resources. So, but I do feel like it was, it didn't, it didn't feel, um, I don't feel resentful. I feel like they paid me really well. And this is part of my deal. And also one of my, one of my strong suits, one of my jams is connecting one-on-one and really listening and saying, Hey, like, you know, let's like you said, like, let's look at the facts here. You know, you haven't graduated yet, but you see, it doesn't matter because when you're that age, you feel like there is no time. And now you look, as we get older, I'm like, Oh my God, you had so much time girl. Speaker 5: (11:23)But the other day sitting at my rate, waitressing job, talking to this guy who was, you know, he was a good 30 years older than me. I was 20, I think. Um, I think it was like 24 and being like, I'm old, I'm at 24. I started thinking I'm almost 25. And then when you're 25, it's over like every, you have to have everything established by the time you're 25 because who, you know, becomes a person after that. Like, I really thought Speaker 2: (11:54)That way. And in part it was because, uh, not because I thought my parents were so emotionally mature because they'd be the first to say, or at least my mom would be the first to say that they weren't, but they own their first house when they were like, they got married at 18, they own their first house right away. Or I guess they rented. But then really soon they own their first house. And that kind of set the bar. Like I felt, I feel like a failure sort of before I even went to school, like, there's no way I'm going to be right. You know, right away. I felt the same. Like I think it's generation. Yeah. I, my parents had their, they didn't have their together emotionally, you know, and, but they definitely own the house and they definitely had job jobs. And, you know, so that, and also the, I guess that speaks to the difference of what kind of, what we culturally value we had. Speaker 2: (12:47)There was no room for valuing like personal growth and development at that time. Whereas that that's gotten much more of a stakehold in terms of our societal values and, and hopefully less and less about what you have and what you own and how much money you have. Oh, well, that's interesting. So if you're listening to this and you're, this is your final year of the theater school, it gets better, you know, it gets better and it's already good. Like there's this combination platter of the, the depth of despair that you may be feeling now that'll get better. Um, but also you are doing it. You are doing the career part. The training is part of the career. Everything that comes after that. Yeah. You'll, you'll, you'll build upon. I mean, that's what we've learned during this podcast. Like you build a PA, even if you leave in 10 years, you find yourself, you didn't do anything, thought what you thought you were going to be doing in this final year. Speaker 6: (13:49)You are using your skills and what you learned there, and you are applicable everywhere. This is your life, you're living it. And this is the life like it's all of today on the podcast, we talked to Sarah charper. Sarah is one of those actresses that multiple people that we've talked to have described as a powerhouse. And she really is, and she's on stage and on screen. She's just so connected. She has such a presence. And, um, we talked to her and it was a lovely conversation. And I just she's has this outlook about the pandemic and about life. That's really inspiring. So I'm so glad we got to talk to Sarah charper on I survived theater school. Enjoy fancy. I, I move your camera so I can see Speaker 2: (14:52)Your beautiful face. I want to see the bottom of your beautiful face there you okay. Oh, you're so you're so I know you're not supposed to say this, but Sarah, you, you have you, are you eating? Speaker 6: (15:05)What's going on? I I'm it's it's so funny. H I said the same thing. I mean, I, I, I don't. I have, I don't. I mean, yes, yes. I'm yes. I'm you look great. Thank you. Just checking that, you know what I did? I, um, I stopped drinking. It was weird. I mean, I haven't, I have not had any alcohol in like three months and all of a sudden, like I have a chin wall. I mean, just like, I think the puffy goat has gone away. Um, yeah. Regrettably, I guess. I, I it's, it's so nice to see your face and I still feel like such a crumb that I, I just think I had a pandemic stroke that last time, but, um, I'm so happy to see that something terrible had Speaker 2: (15:47)Happened. Um, Fred, this passed away. Speaker 6: (15:50)Oh, right. That's right. Yeah. One of the mini pandemic suicides. Um, Oh my God. Yeah. So sorry. Um, but this was super fun, but this is fun. What a. I am Jen before. So before I forget, you have to send me your address because I have something for you that I've had for over a year. And now I feel bad, Gina, because I don't have something for you, but I don't know what to get you, but I do. I'll share it. I do have something for you, Jen, that I've had for a very long time, and you're going to know what it is and when you see it, Oh my God. I can't wait. I can't wait. Well, welcome. And congratulations. Speaker 2: (16:32)You survived theater Speaker 6: (16:33)School. I did allegedly Speaker 2: (16:36)You in actual fact, you survived it and you are. I ha I probably shouldn't be starting this with such a gush, but you, you are such a fantastic actress. I mean, really everything you do now, everything you did in school is fantastic. You are so like deeply connected to everything you do. It's very admirable. Speaker 6: (17:03)Thanks. We hear it all the time. Speaker 2: (17:09)We've heard it from multiple people on the podcast about how much of a powerhouse or like in the, you know, in the Facebook chat situation, how much of a powerhouse. And I think that's the word that comes to mind when I think of your and your you and your acting is like powerhouse, but connected is also like Gina said, totally connected. And I've seen you, you know, in rooms, running casting sessions, and you're the same way you're connected as a reader. You're connected as a casting associates. So you're, Speaker 6: (17:39)You should see me weeping in corners on a regular basis. Speaker 2: (17:43)So, um, did you want to be an actor since you were a young lady? Um, Speaker 6: (17:50)I think, well, my mother always says th th th th my transformative moment, they took me to go. I grew up in upstate New York. So they took me to the Shaw festival and I saw Cyrano de Bergerac and Cyrano was played by this. I want to say, he'd let her know. His name is Heath Heath Lambert, a very diminutive, um, Canadian actor. Well, I say that only because he played Cyrano, who is such a heroic, huge character. Um, and the one we played Roslyn was so beautiful, but more importantly, her hat was amazing. Like she had one of those pointed princess hats with a gossamer hanging down, which I don't know if you it's like, that's the fabric that looks like fairy dust. And my mom is like she said, Sarah, you just sat at the edge of your seat and didn't breathe the entire time. Speaker 6: (18:33)And I still to this day, and I think I might, I think I might've been nine. I still, to this day, remember sitting in that theater, just being like now, granted I was mostly drawn to the fairy dust and the applause, but I, um, I don't think I ever recovered from that moment, but I really, it, it has taken me, um, I'll say I'm, I'm 50 now. I think I've just started to admit that I'm going to be an actor. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think I ever really wanted to own that. I don't think I ever wanted to, although I just said I was 50, but everyone knows that. Um, uh, I don't think I wanted to own that. So I did a lot of things to kind of be like, Oh, I'm going to be an academic. I'm going to, you know, um, so really what kind of academic did you think you might've studied theater? Speaker 6: (19:15)I mean, I got it, got my degree in theater studies and women's studies and religious studies. So really, I just liked studying people and motivation. So it's all the same thing, right? Like, Oh yeah, definitely all the same thing was when it, DePaul, I went to university of Toronto for my undergrad. So, um, they're in there, you know, they're a very rigorous academic school. Um, and it's a totally different than the American system. Like most of your classes are a year long, some are a half year. So it's a really like hardcore, like in some of the colleges they wear robes. It's very, um, not my school, but, um, so yeah, so I, I went there and got a BA in theater in women's studies and, and, um, religious studies, uh, and did have some performance. So that's why I went on to get my masters, um, w where I ended up at DePaul, uh, because I wanted to learn how to act. Speaker 6: (20:09)I mean, I knew what I thought was really great theater. And I worked with incredible people that I still haven't had the gift of working with people of that caliber ever again, but I didn't know how the to do anything. I just felt a lot. Yeah. Did you, did you act as a, in high school, did you say, Oh, golly. No, it wasn't. So it's funny. So I went to my high school, I went to a super urban high school and it was connected to the school of the arts, but again, this fight in me, I was like, I'm not going to go to school, the arts, I'm not going to be one of them. Um, and like, you know, I went to high school with Taye Diggs, whose name is Scott. Um, you know, uh, people who ended up having massive careers. And I sort of sat on the periphery. I did, however, was a part of Speaker 7: (20:48)An improvisational theater group called awareness theater, which is hilarious. And I think about it now. And we went around and did improv for like, doctors about how to deal with kids with like drug addiction or parental issues. And I think I was remembering the day. I think we actually did a performance at Attica, and I'm not even you. Like, I don't know who led us in these places, but we did these improv's about like, don't do the cocaine, but I want to do the cocaine. And like we got in a van and drove to schools. I mean, I had a little sweatshirt, I loved it so much. I loved it so much. Speaker 5: (21:18)So I love that. That's fantastic. So, um, in upstate New York, uh, you went to the shop festival. Did you get, did your parents also take you to Broadway Broadway? Speaker 7: (21:29)Um, I believe so. The first Broadway show I saw was the touring company of Annie. So I saw that in Rochester, the first Broadway show I saw was the tap dance kid. I think Speaker 7: (21:42)Alfonso, Roberto, the kid, yes. Right. He was the tap dance kid. Um, and you guys are, you're younger than me by a lot, but this was the time too, in my junior high, they had to band taps because in the, in the, um, the musical, there were all these great tap numbers where they had like converse sneakers with taps on the bottom. So everyone had to get taps. So as you can imagine, the halls of my high school were just says, coffin is insane. Those got manned along with the Michael Jackson belts. Cause everyone beat each other with them. Speaker 5: (22:14)It was a little aggressive with the spice, Speaker 7: (22:18)The ones with the big name, like the one where you could get them personally, not, you know what I mean? We weren't allowed to wear those as anything could be weaponized with a creative mind Speaker 5: (22:28)When I was in junior high, I got sent home for wearing, um, what I thought was just a cute little accessory in my hair, a bandana, it wasn't red or blue, but I got sent home because there was a no bandana, uh, gang violence in Sacramento at the time that I was in junior high was like real, real, real high. So, uh, anyway, so, okay. So you, uh, did your MFA at DePaul and, and then when you left or when you graduated, were you debating, staying in Chicago, moving to LA moving to New York? Speaker 7: (23:06)No. Um, I I'm realizing now in this pandemic time of reflection, like how much, and I've been thinking so much about this thinking about theater school and stuff. Um, no, I think I was lived with, I think I just lived in fear and waited for permission. So I was waiting for something to tell me where I had to go. Um, and I thought Chicago was a great place to get started. And I, um, I had friends of mine right out of school who had started a company. Um, so we were working together. So that seems like a great little launching pad and then they watched real careers. Um, and, um, Speaker 6: (23:47)Was that sad? Yeah, yeah, Speaker 2: (23:50)Yeah. We were talking to Lee a little bit about it, Speaker 6: (23:52)Eric. I was thinking about him this morning. Um, yeah, so they, um, so I, no, I didn't. I mean, I did, did I think that that call was going to come where I was desperately needed elsewhere. Absolutely. But, um, shockingly, that hasn't arrived yet, but there's time Speaker 2: (24:09)Fair to be fair. You have had calls come for different things. Speaker 6: (24:13)I have, indeed. I have been very lucky. No, I have been very lucky, um, Speaker 2: (24:17)And hardworking. I just want to put that out there, that call comes and then we answer it and we try to show up the best we can and you've done. Speaker 6: (24:25)I appreciate that. And I, and I feel like Speaker 2: (24:27)Ciao hasn't called yet. Judd, Apatow has not called yet, but that doesn't Speaker 6: (24:32)No, and I, it's funny, I have been thinking a lot about, you know, when, when you're ready for things and when you're not. And, um, I don't know if the world is ready, but I kind of feel more ready now than I ever happened. So that's kind of exciting to not feel like your life is over in the midst of all this chaos and breaking down. It's sort of interesting to find, I'm trying to, I'm really trying to silver lining this whole pandemic, so yeah, yeah. Speaker 2: (24:56)Yes, yes. There is the option. The alternatives are not good. Silver line. Speaker 6: (25:02)I know. Right. I mean, don't we all? So, um, yeah, so, no, I, I mean, I wanted to go and I did, I did spend some time in New York. Um, I went with a show, um, I did it, I ended up doing, um, Cuckoo's nest at Steppenwolf, and then we did it in London and then we did it in New York and then the world went to hell in a hand basket and I saw the world trade center fall down. I thought, well, I want to go back to Chicago. So anyway, blah, blah, blah, um, nine 11 Blomberg. Anyway, that happened back to me. Speaker 2: (25:35)I have a question. I have a question going back to the, so when you, when you decided, did you decide, um, were, were other schools in the running for you besides DePaul for your MFA? Speaker 6: (25:44)Well, so I had already gone to another program for a year. I went to SUNY Binghamton, um, in Binghamton New York, which is where rod Sterling's from, that gives you an indication. Um, and that program was actually rather astounding. It was run by this guy, gene lesser, God rest, his soul, who I can unequivocally say was a bit of a sociopath, but he was one of the people who started Julliard in the early days. So he was one of those Svengali kind of teachers that could get you to do work. You never thought you had access to, but you were completely dependent on him to do it, which is why he had these weird little acolytes following him around and stuff. So I spent a year kind of being brainwashed by him and then the program crumbled. So then I had to find somewhere, um, the program shut down and it was hell in a hand, basket was just total task. Um, so I left that program and then went through the process of desperately auditioning and, um, you know, when Tish and Julliard and everyone else to get that, but I will say this, this is an amazing story. So I went to New York for the IRDAs Speaker 7: (26:44)Or something to audition for DePaul. And, um, at the time I had just been recovering from an illness. All of us ladies are familiar with it, had a horrible UTI. And so I took sulfa and didn't know I was allergic to sulfa. Um, and if you're allergic to sulfa, it does something great. So I went into my audition. I, you not by face was swollen. You came out to here. Like I looked, I looked like a homeless person in the middle of a Chicago winter by that. I mean, my face was completely swollen and disbanded, dark purple when burned and insane. My lips were deformed. Um, I mean, I looked horrified and I remember standing like in this waiting pen room, like it was a dance studio and there are mirrors everywhere. And I was just kind of looking at myself going, are you me? Speaker 7: (27:33)And I was like, Oh, okay, here we go. And I went and did my pieces and was like, I remember Jim hostel help was there. And I think John Jenkins and all these people, and I finished my pieces and they're like, do you have any questions? And I just kind of stand there, look at them going seriously. We're not going to talk about that. I've ever been like, just in case any of you are wondering, I don't normally look like this. I'm like, I'm not a supermodel, but this is not what we're normally just to put that out there. Cause like, it was good. You were brave to do that. Oh my like, I mean, I was making children cry in the streets. I mean, I really, but it was just so funny that they didn't even acknowledge. I mean, I get it, but we weren't even politically correct then, but no one said a word and I'm like, we're going to pretend I don't look like a descendant of the elephant man. Okay. But anyway, they took me. I think they felt badly for me. Speaker 5: (28:20)No, no. They saw they saw your talent audition. Speaker 7: (28:26)I know, I think I know I had this piece. I have no idea of what it's from, but it was about green peppers, like about, do I not like green peppers? And I went to this diatribe. No. As a matter of fact, I hate it. Actually. I really hate it. Everyone else likes green peppers. They think it was highlighted in that it was this theory about grit, which is very close to me cause I tend to get furious about nonsense. Um, and I probably did something tragic, like from Troilus and Cressida. I think I did a Cassandra monologue control. I was impressed. I talk about overblown. Like I'm, I'm going to play a deeply connected sear. Um, but they felt, Speaker 5: (29:02)I bet you knocked it out of the park. So you weren't talking about, uh, your earlier experience in having a spin golly type figure. And I, I probably wouldn't go so far as to say the theater school head spin golly types, but we did have, and we talk about on this podcast a lot, you know, people with big personalities people w we, we got, um, labeled in a way by our section in a way. Uh, so I'm curious to know your thoughts about that, about the personalities among the faculty, how you related to it, then how you relate to it now, what Speaker 2: (29:42)Your thoughts are. Speaker 8: (29:42)Well, so it's interesting, again, like I've been really deliberating about this a lot, you know, cause I wanted to do a good podcast to help you get now I know there's a great at the end, I was in a very different position. You know, I'd already gone to undergrad for four years and I'd already done one year of, of theater training. So I came into it at a different place and it was interesting because, um, temperamentally, I was much more, I felt a greater kinship with, uh, the folks that were getting BFAs and my MFA class. I mean, I really just didn't, it's not that I didn't get along with them. I just didn't. I was in school with a lot. I'll never forget. I was auditioning. I wanted to go to, um, ATC elemental P whatever the Harvard school is and I'll forget it. Speaker 8: (30:21)They were audition. They were like, if you want to be a teacher, get the hell out of here. We don't want accuracy. We want to be teachers. We want actors who want to act. And I was like, yes. Um, and not in any way to be disparaging of the folks that were in my class, but I felt like a lot of people were like, this is my backup. I'm going to be a teacher. And I'm like, who's going to want you to teach if you don't actually do this. Right. So, um, there was a little, just a little bit of a disconnect. And I think, I thought I knew everything and I was more than likely a snapback. So I, um, I didn't have the same kind of, Oh my God, this is a whole new world for me. You know, I was 23 and worldly, you know, but I'd already had those aha moments. Speaker 8: (31:02)So, and I came out of a really, um, I don't want to say for me, but like a borderline abusive stage. I think, I mean, I think this teacher I had before was actually a predator. And I say this now, cause he's dead. Although I should say it out loud when he was alive, I think he was a predator. So, um, I came out of a very intense environment into something where I remember sitting with Jamal's to Hoff all the time and he'd be like, Sarah, I just feel like you want me to yell at you. And I was like, yes. And then I had a little PTSD. I was like, no, one's mean enough. No, one's hard enough. Um, and I was constantly asking for more in gym and it's funny. Cause like everyone was like Jim Austin, Hoff crusty guy. And I'm like, I want more crust. Speaker 8: (31:39)I um, and I think I was very much a victim of one of those people that convinced myself that it didn't hurt. And I wasn't an excruciating pain all the time. I wasn't doing enough. Um, and if people didn't tell me how much I sucked, then they thought I couldn't be better. And so I really had, I was stuck with that feeling for a very long time in DePaul, like, Oh, I guess this is as good as I'm gonna get. Cause no one seems to tell me what I need to fix. And again, no one can, no one can fix me other than me. Uh, but I think I a very much, um, I think it goes into the whole permission thing that I was really looking for someone to tell me what was wrong and tell me I was going to be okay and tell me I was gonna make it. And that I was one of the chosen ones so that I could go out and take chances, which I think is the biggest problem with theater school in general. But that's a customer question. Speaker 2: (32:26)It's interesting because we do have a lot of you're the first person that I've really is struck me as saying like I needed more crust, I wanted more crust. I needed that for whatever reason. And it's, there's no judgment on, but um, there Speaker 5: (32:40)Are those people and I think it's also the Julliard method. That kind of method of, you know, unless it hurts, you're not, you're not growing and you know, to be fair, there's something about that that works like when I'm in pain is when I make changes in my life. It's just that, uh, you seem a little, like you were a little more ready to make changes. I was just trying to figure out what's happening. Speaker 8: (33:00)Well, totally. I was in a different place. I mean, I had, I'd already left home. I lived, you know, in a university of Toronto, it's a totally different than the American system. Like you live on your own, you live in co-op housing. There's no doubt. I mean like I had already sort of lived a pseudo, I mean a wildly protected pseudo adult life for five years. So I wasn't in the same place of like, Holy crap, I get to smoke cigarettes in front of teachers. You know what I mean? Like I, uh, so I just, um, but again, like, I, I still very much, I mean, it's not a level of maturity that I'm, I'm super proud of because I still very much was desperately seeking for someone to say, Sarah, you can live the life you want to live. You can be who you want to be. And it's not about which role you get here. Cause it's, you know, that world is also as the three of us don't we, we were never fricking algae news. What the hell was I doing? Doing shows and theater school. Speaker 5: (33:52)Right, right. Yeah. So you, you are w when you talk about waiting for permission and, and being scared, um, that ties into something that boss and I talk about all the time, and we talked about it earlier today. Uh, those of us who, whose parent whose mothers were in the sixties generation of feminism, um, really experienced, horrible, horrible things. And so their impression that they taught to us and that became our impression is that it was all fixed and it was all better. And feminism worked and patriarchy was over, which is obviously less laughable, Speaker 8: (34:43)Just look at TV. Speaker 5: (34:44)Yeah, exactly. But we, I feel envious of young women growing up now, even at, even though they can still be in a patriarchal context, they can still be oppressed by somebody no longer. Is there just such a dearth of information about what, how it could be, or maybe even how it should be. Um, do you ever feel that envy wishing that you had been raised with, or maybe you were raised with a strong feminist bent? I don't know. Speaker 8: (35:19)Uh, well for sure, like I was raised in a tremendous matriarchy. I mean, everyone jokes, my, my late father, like my friends who, like, he just was a husk and a corner, which he wasn't, but like we just, I come from not surprisingly generations of really dominant women. Um, but I also, um, you know, my mother is the kind of woman she was getting her master's degree, worked a full-time job and raised two children and did everything all at the same time. So my mom didn't have time to about. I mean, so my parents were political and social idealists and they, they actually met in Chicago is this part of this Catholic youth, um, rebel organization. I mean, they were, as far as Catholics can be, but they were really about social justice and change. And so I grew up around all of that. Speaker 8: (36:04)Um, but I also think at a certain point, like what's funny is I, I noticed this particular last year at the beginning of the pandemic when things got cuckoo and, um, so many issues, so many social issues came to light. I realized how old and out of touch I was. Do you know what I mean? Like I had, I had lived this whole period thinking I am so enlightened. And then all of a sudden I was teaching these students and I was like, Laura. And I like literally vomiting on my own words and terrified of saying the wrong thing and not understanding, um, social codes anymore and thought, but I'm a good person. You know, I went through all that white guilt and fear and doubt. And so, um, yes, I, I, I, well, envious of these women, I'm, I'm envious for the time that they have. Speaker 8: (36:48)I'll say that I'm really envious of the time. And I try very much not to squander the time I have worrying about what I did with the time I wasted. Um, but I, uh, you get your lessons when you get them, I guess. Uh, but I think it's a really complicated place that people are in, but I'm very encouraged. And I was having this discussion recently with friends of mine, talking about the movies we grew up with. And again, like I thought me and my girlfriends, like nine years old going to see like nine to five or like we just thought we were a little budding feminists. And then I go back and I look at 16 candles and I'm like, I was obsessed with rape movies. You know what I mean? Like, um, coming, having those awakening moments of realizing I'm brainwashed too, um, or realizing that women cease to exist past 40. Speaker 8: (37:32)You know, when, when I was reading an interview with Reese, with this one recently where she was like, stop time up, Oh, this is a picture of me on set, playing Adam Sandler's mother. You know what I mean? Or like that new shell manque, that's out like Amanda, Seyfried's playing what's her butt's wife. And she's 78 years younger than him. And in real life, his wife was the same, you know, like just this horse shittery where like who's controlling the narrative of who women are is just especially as someone who's like, Oh wait, here I am, I'm 50. I'm ready to go. Now I'm like, well, I have to write it because you know what? These men are terrified to know that we exist. Speaker 2: (38:08)Right. That's absolutely true. And I, I just think, yeah, so that speaks of that thing of like, um, right. I don't know if you guys feel this, but it's like, I came of age thinking I was a feminist and that, that we, everything was possible that I was crushed right by the system. And now I'm coming of age again saying, and I am, I am, I wish I have this on this podcast all the time where I'm listening. I'm like, man, I wish I knew this when I was 18. And there's that thing where they say, you can't know what, you know, until you know it, but I hate that because I just, if I was armed with this, I listened to the stories of people that come on the podcast that are like, you know, I told so-and-so to F off that I was going to play this part or that, and I'm like, I wish I had had that, but you're right. Speaker 2: (38:50)You'd get, you'd get the lessons when you get them. But it sounds like you were able, there just seems to be a sense then about yourself, that when you were at the theater school, that you were able to step into your own, which is why you probably seemed so connected and were, was, was a good actor. And the rest of us were not terrible actors, but I can tell you, it wasn't that I was a terrible actor, is that I had no clue what was going on. You had a clue of what was going on, which is why your work probably seemed so connected because you knew Speaker 7: (39:18)I, maybe I just, I just had more of a chance to know who I was. And I think so much, I think so much of it. And again, like I think about Slack because I teach acting now and I teach at the university level a lot. And, um, I think so much of that environment is about a, tell me I can do this as there's a whole body of people that are gonna tell you just, just between you and me just to make it, am I going to make it like that feeling all the time of thinking someone can actually bestow your life upon you. Um, and then having someone to like, who are you? Who are, who am I do? Can you tell me who I am? And here I am going to school. And yes, I had, I had a pretty, I had a more, um, secure sense of self because I was older just by virtue of years. Speaker 7: (39:58)Um, and I w I was fortunate to be exposed to a lot of things in a very unique way, I think. Um, but still I went into theater school and I played old ladies, my entire career. I played old women. I played grandmothers and old women and the fat ferry. And then I got out of school and I played hookers for 20 years. Do you know what I mean? Like we, there's no sense of what, so theater school doesn't really help you find a truth. And that the hilarious irony is like, you get to be your senior year and you got to do the showcase, which is going to make or break your whole life. And they're like, how are you going to market yourself? And I'm like, are you kidding me? I have no idea of who I am, because I've been running around playing. Speaker 7: (40:43)I played women in theater school that I'm still too young to audition for. So it, it, it, it you up in terms of trying to figure out some way of being authentic and you know, how it is to, it's funny, I'm sure John, you saw it too. You know, our, our dear friend, Nick Whitcomb wrote something recently about like theater and what does theater mean? And I'm thinking, you know, gone are the days where we're all sitting around. I mean, hopefully not forever. We have to reimagine them, but like, I don't know how much me playing Cresseta in Troilus and Cressida is going to aluminate today's world. I don't know how much this can of things that we thought were really going to establish us as artists is going to move us forward anyway. And yeah, I don't know. Speaker 2: (41:29)I also feel like theater never really embraced me as a woman as a, Speaker 5: (41:34)As who I am. So I'm, I'm, I don't feel a loyalty to recreate the art form, which other people can, I just never found like my spot there. So when people are like, how are we going to reimagine theater? I'm like, because I, I never Speaker 8: (41:50)Theater that I liked in America, to be honest, I was spoiled. I was trained by a bunch of Europeans and undergrad and went, I mean, we went on school trips to Italy and Germany and Sasha, and that's the, still to this day, that theater, I, my favorite theater is Russians and Germans and stuff where it's like, I don't have to speak the language. Like to me, that's theater. I don't know a word you're saying. And I'm riveted. And that's, that's what I've never seen that really recreated here. Um, Speaker 5: (42:14)All right, well, gauntlet thrown America. You got to try to impress Sarah. I told boss this earlier, but, um, I just happened yesterday to be looking through the plays in my bookshelf. And, um, I was looking for, uh, to do something specific and I P I picked up a play that I haven't read in a long time called dead man's cell phone. And of course, I was delighted to see your name as having been one of the original, other, other woman, uh, characters. Can you tell us anything about your experience with that play? Speaker 8: (42:53)Yeah, that was great. That was super, super funny play. I mean, um, how do I talk about that? You know, it's so, so, so, so Pauli Noonan, um, who play gene and the play is sort of like Sarah rules muse. So it's very interesting to be in a play with the writers muse in there. And Polly's just one of these, she's just an other worldly being she's, she's a magnificent human being and creature, but like indescribable, I just use just this ephemeral sort of creature. Um, uh, and it was, you know, it's always interesting to work on new plays. It was, um, I find it really challenging. It was sort of one of those, and I'm in poly had done the show before. Cause I remember going like, you know, of course I'm trying to make my role really important and grounded. And sometimes, you know, sometimes a pipe is just a pipe, you know what I'm saying? Speaker 8: (43:40)So I think there were times where I was beating my head against a wall, trying to make my, to understand every, uh, every bit of minutia I could mind out of it. And, you know, I remember once Paul saying to me, yeah, you know, this part never worked in DC either like that. It's um, Oh, wow. That there were shortcomings, but it was, it was wonder, I mean, it was wonderful, you know, I, um, I never, you know, it's like, I think I went through a period. I was like, I'm going to keep working. And then you don't work for a long time. And you're like, I wish I appreciated those moments more. I mean, it was, it was, it was lovely. It was terrifying. I remember, I, of course I only really remember the moments I went up on my lines and didn't know what's happening and got Jeezy on a rake stage and was terrified. Um, please, anyone directing plays, don't put anyone on rage stage. It's just cruel. Um, especially anyone with anxiety vertigo. Forget it. Yeah. Um, Speaker 6: (44:36)You were on a rake stage at the theater school, in the one with the turf. What was that called? Speaker 8: (44:42)That was called systemly feelings, which for like six years, I still found AstroTurf in my underwear. Yeah. That Speaker 6: (44:52)You Speaker 8: (44:52)Were brilliant too. That was brilliantly. That was, Speaker 6: (44:56)That was the audition right. Where we had to be funny. Wasn't that the one where Speaker 8: (45:01)It was late and it was super funny. Okay. And, and I was thinking that Lee Kirk, this is my cousin Lee Kirk was in it. Sean Gunn was in it. JP Cabrera was in it Alex, but like, I mean, and, and, and, and, and, um, Bradley Walker and that, that play Kendra through. And that, that was, that play was F I was all, yeah, that was my favorite place for sure. That I did. Although, full of calamitous moments of, of utter tear and, and destruction. Speaker 6: (45:28)Did you get dizzy on that rake stage too? Speaker 8: (45:30)No, I got, I got sculled. I got to horrible things happen in this show. I have to. Okay. So the first one was, there's always a show at the end of like one scene, there's like a coin toss. And then that determines what the next scene is going to be. And we had to run off stage. It was a rainstorm. We had to run back on stage wet. So we got dunked with water off stage and ran back on. And I can't remember, Stan, I'm such a crumb. He was a lovely stage manager. We had long kind of Auburn hair and he was just adorable. Speaker 6: (46:00)Oh, yes. It'll come to me. Speaker 8: (46:07)Yeah. Reddish hair you're with me. Okay, Speaker 6: (46:12)Lovely. Speaker 8: (46:12)So I remember, um, he had told the, the, the kids, I say kids, because what other, th th th the kids working crew, um, make sure you put relief, um, warm water in, at the top of the act, put hot water in the bucket at the top of the app so that when we dunk them in water, they, um, aren't freezing. And, um, Oh no, whoever, uh, neglected to do this. So did it at the end of the act. And I ran off stage and literally had a giant bucket of scalding water poured on top of me. And I had to run immediately back on stage and finish a scene that was alarming. Speaker 6: (46:51)Oh, that's horrible. And how far along were you on? Speaker 8: (46:55)I was on stage then for another few minutes. And then we did the coin toss, but I just looked at Kendra and like, you're doing the next scene. I was like, this is not because I couldn't go. I was like hyperventilating. I'm like, I can't, I mean, it's like burn cream in my hair line. And then I had, like, I had like a scene or two to recover, and then I had to go back on, but that, because it was like the potential to do like eight different plays or whatever, the way that play was set up. Um, but that wasn't the most terrifying moment. I will, the most terrifying thing that happened that show. So there was a whole big picnic scene. We were all, I remember this all on that Hill. And Gus thing is about the extra guy. I think it was Bradley's an extra guy shows up. Speaker 8: (47:31)So we were one short we're, one short of everything. And all of the dialogue in that scene revolves around the one shortness, and God it. If I didn't open that picnic basket and it was empty, there was like a napkin and two plates. And I'll never forget this. I was thinking of Lee. Cause like I was really, I was really tight with those guys at the time and, and I was running the picnic. So all the dialogue was motivated by me, motivated by prompts about the things and about the lack of things. And I remember opening it up and looking at it being like, there's nothing in here. And this is that the reskin, like there's people out there. And I turned to Sean, Sean Gunn, he was playing my boyfriend Steph, and I'm like, Stafford, could you go to the car and see if there's a bank in the County? Speaker 8: (48:23)And I just remember looking over it and seeing Lee Kerr, cause he could tell him he just went and put his hands behind his head and lean back. Like I can't wait to see how Sarah gets out of this one. I'll never forget that. It was so funny. I mean, it was like the most panicked and we just had to basically make up the entire like, and then I remember seeing that same stage manager whip off his headset go poking around, trying to find, and then like, you know, three minutes later Sean comes walking out. I was like, Oh, is this what you're looking for? I'm like, Oh, was super, Speaker 5: (48:49)Thank you so much. Oh wow. Speaker 8: (48:53)Like I think of that moments where I'm like, Oh God, what if? And I'm like, I already dealt with a big one, if that's fine. And it was true. It was horrifying. Horrifying. Yeah. Speaker 5: (49:03)So, um, I, we have never talked in this podcast about this, but um, recently I was thinking about the actor's nightmare and what you experienced was, was a nightmare. But what we're typically referring to when we say the actor's nightmare is the dream you have that you're and there's variations on it, but like you're supposed to go on stage and you don't know any of your lines or you can't, for some reason you can't get all the way on stage. And I don't know why it took me so long because I would have the stream for the 25 years. I had never acted. Um, so it took me all this time to, to link the way that that is just tied to your own life and your feeling of like being an imposter or you're feeling that you're ill prepared. And I'm just wondering if you guys still have dreams like that. Speaker 5: (49:56)I have the same dream. I have the dream where, where I, I finally got to the point of the dream where I say, it in the dream. I'm just going to make the up. Because before I would try to cram cram, cram and lobby backstage and finding someone's script with the highlighted script and like I'm crying. And then finally about a month ago I had one where I was like, you know what, this. I'm going to make this up. And it was so my God I'm so inspired. Go back to the scary dream. Me too, Speaker 2: (50:29)Just, I said, it. I'm going to make it up. I can't go through this anymore. I can't go through this. Like I literally would. My dream was like, I took control because I had him all the time. Speaker 8: (50:38)I just had that. I'm not no word of a lie last week where I was like, can I just borrow? Like, and it was like the Shakespeare style where they just had their lie. And I was like, maybe that'll just, Oh, I have that dream. And I never have pants on, or I'm always missing either assertive. I find always like trying to take some kind of towel and yes, Speaker 5: (50:58)Boss that is very encouraging that you had that dream. And I am going to try to like take that in such that if I find myself in the middle of that dream, I might be able to give myself that same advice. But it, I wonder for you, I bet it is really linked to this idea that you're having to write for yourself and which yeah. Which Sarah mentioned, you know, you're, you're saying you, you, now that you are now that you're ready to embrace your greatness, um, and you're maybe not going to find a bunch of roles ready-made, you're going to have to make it for yourself. Are you already, Speaker 8: (51:36)Uh, I am eight pages in, I mean, so it's funny. I've been, I, um, like I said, I'm trying to use my downtime, my, this pen Demi time, um, effectively. And so part of what I'm trying to do is not break myself constantly. So, you know, I got my final draft, I got my ideas and I've had all sorts of interesting things pop up over the past few months. So have I done as much writing as I intended to know, but is it something that I'm thinking about and actively trying to not stop myself from doing every day? Yes. And I think that that's the biggest hurdle I have to get over is like the part of me that thinks, well, I've got to get it right from between here and my fingers. It's got to get right. Then instead of like, maybe I should just bark out some really bad and see what happens. Speaker 8: (52:18)Um, and not worry. Cause I tend to stop that. Well, what happens after that? it. I'm done. And shortbread and sourdough. So I, um, I'm trying to get over that hurdle, but I am quite excited and enthusiastic and, and I've had other interesting things. I've had great distractions pop up in the past little bit. So I have sort of like, all right, so I'm going to shelf that and work on. And I'm just really working on, um, not panicking. I'm just realizing, you know, in terms of the dream of like, um, not succumbing to panic and anxiety and fear of what's next and trying to be a bit more present in this weird timeless time. I'm trying to be just a little more mindful and slow. Speaker 2: (53:01)Well, you, you see, I gotta be honest. You seem, you seem pretty, you know, knowing, knowing you, you seem pretty much [inaudible]. I know I Speaker 8: (53:12)Thank you. I appreciate that. Cause I really have, um, and it's also been hard to do to realize like, wait, I it's, I think part of it leads into that. Like if it doesn't hurt, it's not work, um, trying to surrender to like Sarah, your life doesn't have to be excruciating all the time and you don't have to be miserable or suffering. You can just be, and that's a piece of the work. And so I'm really trying as I sit here watching icicles mouth outside of my house, I'm really trying to appreciate and sit with that time who knows what will happen. And again, like, Ooh, what's going to happen as soon as I have to, but I'm really trying to be okay. Speaker 2: (53:44)What did about Cuckoo's nest? Because people are going to ask, how did that come? How, how was that? I mean, that was, that was, that was like a big, huge deal for people that don't know it was Sarah was wasn't Cuckoo's nest. Speaker 8: (53:58)It was super easy, pretty fun. Um, although again, not without its challenges. I, um, I auditioned like every other woman between the ages of, you know, 20 and 32 for this little walk on part. Um, and uh, hilariously, it came down to me and this woman, Jennifer Inkstrom, who's a marvelous actress. Um, and we, at the time we're roommates, we work at the same restaurant. We had the same agent and Oh, my Gary Sinise and Terry Kenny could not choose which one of us to cast. So they cast both of us. So we were double cast in a role. And every other night, one of us went on is Sandy. And the other one played the electroshock tech. I. You not. Um, and that's how that run. It was bananas. It makes, I mean, and to this day, people are like, what the? Speaker 8: (54:52)It was really weird. And I don't really understand what transpired behind the scenes at the end of the day. I think it was a wildly unfair thing to do to Jennifer and I, because for years it really, really with our friendship, especially when I ended up going to Broadway and she did, and it was really unfair. Not that it's going to come back and bite me in the. It was a really unfair situation to put us in, um, horribly. So, um, especially when they're like, so Sarah, when are you leaving Broadway? When's Jen coming. And I'm like, this is up to me. I mean, it was really, really weird night anyway, but it was marvelous and wonderful. And I was very lucky to do a number of shows at Steppenwolf and, um, work with just astoundingly, uh, generous people and not realize it at the time. Speaker 8: (55:35)I just thought, I don't think I, you know, some youth is wasted on the young. I didn't realize how great it was. Um, but it was awesome. I mean, I, I looked out in the audience one night and Paul Newman was looking at me and I was like, that's Paul Newman. I mean, it was just, it was banana cakes. It was, it was, it was, it was wonderful. And it was a, a really fun show. And, um, I can't believe it was, you know, 20 years ago that it closed. Um, but it was a, it was a good time. It was a good time. Yeah. Speaker 2: (56:02)I got, I got, who played, who played first ratchet. Speaker 8: (56:05)Amy Morton. Oh, nice. Amy Morton. Um, yeah, we had a, Speaker 2: (56:12)Okay. I just love that. I love the stories about people. I know. Speaker 8: (56:16)Oh, it was super fun. I got paid to make out with Gary. Like it was like, Speaker 2: (56:22)You know, yeah. And you, you know, Speaker 5: (56:24)We, we, when the, by the time this is all over, you may be part of a bygone era of Broadway. I mean, I was just having this discussion with a bunch of theater people last night. Is it going to come back? Is it going to be, I mean, the whole model, the whole financial model of it, it was so unsustainable, um, with packed houses and, you know, charging $400 a ticket. I can't imagine trying to make this work with any type of social distancing protocols. Speaker 8: (56:53)Yeah. And who the hell are they going to put in those seats to fill? I mean, like, who's going to be on Broadway. Do you know what I mean? Like gone are the actors not to be a Dick, but you know, Speaker 5: (57:05)No, no, it's totally true. I, they interesting. So speaking of plays, um, probably my most memorable theater school watching experience was raised in captivity. Oh my God. And, and, uh, it made me, it made me a Nicky silver fan. Yes. I mean, that play is so funny. And I have the experience of watching it, that I was laughing so hard and so loud and people around me were laughing too, but I felt like, no, no, you don't. This is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard. John Gunn trying to say, I'm working with the baby, I'm teaching the baby. It's the baby's about to walk. Oh, such a great play. It was Nick directed that, right? Yeah. Do you remember that experience? I wasn't in it myself, Speaker 8: (58:09)Laughing in the audience. I wasn't in it. Speaker 5: (58:12)I've been telling myself you were in my favorite play at the theater school. Maybe I'm combining two plays. Did you do another Nikki that you were in you? Speaker 8: (58:22)I mean, I could be hallucinating. No, I cause Susan Bennett, PJ powers, um, was Juliette and that like I wait, was there someone that wasn't that on it? Speaker 5: (58:33)Wait in a Tutu. Speaker 8: (58:35)It's not about being passed around like a, like a, like a candy dish of nuts or something like there's I remember that, that awesome. Speaker 5: (58:42)Maybe we're thinking of a different name of the prompt. Maybe they did to Batman and skirts. Did you do any Nicky silver plays at the theater school? No, Speaker 8: (58:50)That's with Nicky silver too, because I love language play. Like I just, I, um, Speaker 5: (58:55)No, this is the problem Speaker 8: (58:59)That I wasn't in that show. Cause I was like, Oh, better to do Nicky silver then. Yeah. I mean, I was like, I grumbled, I think I was doing some Irish play at the time about, I don't know if I did some Declan. Speaker 5: (59:10)It's so funny. I believe I've used this to disparate things into one flatter. Speaker 8: (59:17)I thought it was me. Cause that play was awesome. And I, I can see Speaker 7: (59:22)Myself in that classroom watching it and just being gobsmacked. It was like, you know, Speaker 6: (59:27)Two little flats and like a light bulb on the floor. Maybe we were sitting next to each other. And I remember, okay. So I'll, I'll Speaker 2: (59:36)Share with everybody that, um, we are doing a part two with Sarah Shera par because, because my audio unfortunately lost. Yeah. So, so I went back and I just listened to the part where you can only hear you and I talking to, to remind us what we were talking about, but I just being transparent about it. The audience, I mean the audio quality will never sound the same. So if you're listening to this, well, yes, it was recorded in two separate days, but I'm going to do my best to bring us back to the point in the conversation that we were at when we were so rudely interrupted by squad cast. So, um, w we were, we were talking about the shows you did, and you were talking about a show that you did with Joe slowish. Um, and then, uh, a story that I loved talking about the show you did, where you had to be CA you were wearing a beautiful gown, I think. And you had to be carrying Helen of Troy, Helen of Troy. Yeah. Tell us that story. Speaker 7: (01:00:37)I just remember being devastated cause David decimal shin had to carry me and I was like, Oh my God, he's going to know how fast, I mean, you know, Speaker 6: (01:00:47)Like I, Speaker 7: (01:00:48)I mean, I had such a crush on him. Um, hi David, uh, as did everyone as did everyone now. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 6: (01:00:55)Me and it precluded you. Speaker 2: (01:00:58)What we were talking about is how it precluded you and things like that, or can so easily preclude us from focusing on the thing that would actually make the memory good. And the experience enjoyable. Like I'm on stage at a beautiful venerated Chicago theater, and I am getting to play this amazing part and I'm getting to do something that I love instead. We're, we're focused on the thing that you worry about what you ate last night. Speaker 7: (01:01:26)It's not really being in the moment. That's not being in the essential moment there that's not the Colonel one wants to clean to, for sure. Speaker 2: (01:01:34)Definitely not. Definitely. If you were in that position today, how do you think you'd be? Speaker 6: (01:01:40)I think regrettably, Speaker 7: (01:01:44)Well, yeah, I'm a bit in that position every day. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm very, I, it's funny. I, um, uh, recently in this universe, uh, Oh, I apologize. There's some kind of siren happening. Um, recently in this universe of, um, zoom auditions, uh, has been a really eye-opening and a horrifying experience, but illuminating about certain things. And that is that, Oh, I am now back at a place where I'm have to relearn how to not focus on myself in an audition. Right. So because, um, all of a sudden you can see yourself in the corner can see that little piece and try not to be. So I, I thought mistakenly, um, as of late, I was in this groovy Headspace and I was ready to go and it's all about the work. And then the second I could, I was like, Oh God it. Speaker 7: (01:02:31)There you are. And right in front of you, are you and all of your insecurities. Um, and I was, uh, both reassured and disappointed by the fact that I still have the same, the same struggle as a performer to get out of my own way and to get out of my head and stop looking at myself in the moment. And I just had the same experience I had to watch myself. I was on, I saw myself on TV last week and everyone's gathered around the TV and it's like, Ooh, you're on that show. And how exciting. And all I saw were chins. All I saw were, and I remember the day I'm thinking, he looked great. You feel great. You should be confident now, focus on your work. And then I get to watch my work and all I'm all I'm seeing are, wow, that's a really bad sweater. And boy, you know, so it's hard. It's hard to not. Um, I think I focus on it. I try to actively focus on it less. Do you know what I mean? It's kind of like trying to, it's like trying to play a negative intention. I will not, not do. Speaker 2: (01:03:25)Right. Right. Right. Well, the, probably the biggest difference though, is that, you know, that you're doing that now and you know, that it robs you of something that's joyful and you're trying, and you, you know, I think having the desire to get to the place where you can like, just live your life and appreciation for it instead of monitoring your life or how other people are appreciating you. Yeah. Speaker 7: (01:03:45)Yes. And to appreciate the, I mean, so in a way back to that show, my, my goal doing when I shot that show was like, Sarah, you're going to enjoy this experience. You're not going to go home after three days of shooting going. I don't know what happened because I wasn't there. So do I feel like I was able to do that at least 60% of the time? Yes. Which is a big win, right? Like I was like, I was able to have fun being on set and working and focusing on the work rather than worrying about, are they going to fire me? Am I going to get kicked off? And I didn't lose 40 pounds last week. So that was good. That was good to be able to, what was the show? The, uh, the Chicago fire. Um, Speaker 2: (01:04:26)Okay. It's about the it's about the department. Speaker 7: (01:04:29)Is it, is the, it is the fire show of America. Yes, it was. Yes. It was really fun. It was actually super good to, and it was super rewarding because I got to work with a student who I, it was his first job on camera. We had our scene together, a female director that I had worked with before, and it was written by a woman and a woman

Intro: tracking the weather, gardening, unhelpful aphorisms.Let Me Run This By You: memoryInterview: We talk to Paul Holmquist about making a difference through teaching, learning Laban Movement Analysis, and making career moves in theatre. Plus, a truly horrifying story.  FULL TRANSCRIPTSpeaker 1: (00:08)I'm Jen Bosworth from me this and I'm Gina Polizzi. We went to theater school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand it. 20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of it all. We survived theater school and you will too. Are we famous yet? How are you? Speaker 2: (00:32)Good. How are you? I'm pretty good. I mean, yeah. I'm I'm the Midwest is going snow. Are you getting snow today? Oh, don't. Oh God. Don't tell me good Lord above. Oh, hell Jesus. Um, I mean, I can not let me put it out into the universe. I cannot handle that. I cannot. Yeah, we're just going to put it out there. Nope, Nope. Nope. It's a big part path. I feel, I feel, um, I feel interested. I'm interested in that. You can, you can be. Yes. You can have a curiosity, curiosity, but I'm not, but I don't want it for the East coast, but just the Midwest, like a lot of stuff. I don't know, like wintery mix is how they put it. Speaker 2: (01:33)Okay. You keep tabs on the weather in Chicago. Yeah, because I'm, I'm really, I have to like really pump myself up that I moved. Like, it helps me to feel like I made the right choice. That's interesting. And um, my people in my family do that people in my family, like every once in a while, every once in a while my mom would call and she'll be like, she'll tell me, she'll say like, is it snowing there? And I'm like, what? She, yeah, every morning my family is obsessed with the weather. Yes I can. My cousin Roxie, she gets all the radars and she's tracking and she knows exactly what's coming this way. I mean, she should be a meteorologist frankly. She totally should have her own show on YouTube. She's a she's. So on top of the weather and my whole family is like that. Speaker 2: (02:23)I think it might be. I mean, it makes sense like that, that would have been handed down if, if it were from farmers, you know, like that would, it wouldn't be a big deal to like being to the weather. I that's like my favorite. Um, the only thing, well, not the only thing, but there was, when I went to, after my dad died, I went to the partial hospitalization program, um, in Highland park hospital. And um, in that time I had a bunch of therapists and some of them were horrible. And what, but one this one young and now looking Speaker 3: (03:00)Back, they were young as hell. There were young therapists and they were probably like, what? In the, uh, anyway, this one therapist said it was a gloomy day. It was a spring gloom or like summer gloomy day. And everyone was like, Oh, this weather. And he said, you know, I just have this story. You know, whenever I, whenever I have the glooms and I feel like, and at the time I thought he was a P an idiot, but he said, when it's I had planned to go to the beach today after our therapy. Right. But now I can't go to the beach and I was just thinking, it reminds me like somewhere I'm, I'm off and depressed and somewhere there's a farmer. That's rejoicing because his life is saved. Oh, Speaker 2: (03:44)Wow. Oh, wow. And Speaker 3: (03:46)I was like, it's great Speaker 2: (03:48)Perspective later. Speaker 3: (03:51)I was like, Oh my God, that is so deep. And this farmer is like dancing because his farm is saved. And I'm like, but you know, and it's not to diminish anyone's pain, but it's also just perspective. Like you said, like perspective somewhere, someone is happy and falling in love for the first time or somewhere, you know, like, Speaker 2: (04:10)Absolutely. And for some reason that also just reminds me of maybe just because talking about Chicago when I was an intern, social work school intern at Northwestern, inpatient, psychiatric, the thick people who worked that, I mean, people who work in psych hospitals are so interesting. Especially if they've been working there for a really long time and this, uh, OT, occupational therapist, guy, Fred Mahaffey. If you're out there, Fred, I love you. You taught me so much. Um, he, he's the person who introduced me to DBT. Um, and I was sitting in his group and he came in and he said, I just got a very upsetting, or I got a very troubling phone call, but I couldn't get into it because I have this group. And so right now, the thing I'm going to practice is, I can't know until I know Speaker 3: (05:06)Fred, you're amazing. Speaker 2: (05:08)Right? I mean, I think about that all the time. You can't know until, you know, which is really so much about worry and anxiety. It's all this worry about the things that we don't know. And sometimes that's appropriate sometimes. Yeah. You should be worried because something terrible is going to happen. And other times you just waste all of the in-between and then it turns out to be nothing. And you've just been tied up in knots for no reason. Speaker 3: (05:32)I am. The more, the older I get, the more I'm I sort of, um, am drawn to, um, Tibetan, Buddhism. And I am reading, I read it every couple years. I read Pema childrens when things fall apart, heart advice for hard times or difficult times. It's brilliant. It's it's saving me in terms of, it goes beyond just don't strangle your hustle. It goes beyond that into life. Has you licked life when life has you licked when you're licked, there is no hope. And that is truly where the new beginning begins. Oh, wow. I can get on board with that because when I, it reminds me of, and they talk a lot about, uh, she talks, Pema talks a lot about, and I'm sure she's not the only one, obviously in Buddhism. Groundlessness how we are. We are grasping for the ground at all times. And there is no ground. Speaker 3: (06:33)Now look, if you're in acute psychiatric distress, this is not a helpful book because it is, I'm not saying that, but if you have some perspective, like we're saying, if you have like, I have, I'm not in acute psychiatric distress, praise God. Um, but once, once you can get stepped back a little bit and see, Oh my, my addiction to hope my addiction to things are going to get better is actually, might not actually be helping me as much as I think that it is. Um, when I'm licked in my life, when I, when life has nailed me is true. And I can admit it is truly when I begin to settle in and good things happen in my life. It's just every time. Wow. Which is why 12 step programs work. Absolutely. Yeah. That's Speaker 4: (07:28)Notion of like clinging always to hope. That's very interesting. I remember this patient. I encountered also when I was in training, I think it was also at Northwestern. I think looking back, she had like low IQ, you know, if you have low IQ and personality disorder, that's a tough combo because a lot of the what's necessary for healing personality disorders, like a great understanding of what you're doing and how she's just so sweet in a way she'd come in. And she had all these aphorisms, she was, and I just got to keep the hope alive and I just got it. And I just got it's tomorrow's another day. And you know, and I w I always pictured her like a leaky bucket. Cause she'd get all filled up, you know, in this group with everything she needed. And then it's like, the minute she passed the threshold of the door, it all just leaked. Right. Speaker 3: (08:28)Oh my God. Speaker 4: (08:29)And I remember thinking like, maybe all these positive messages are actually really not helping her. Cause it's, it's, it's giving a, I don't want to say it's a false hope, but it's like, and I hate this and I've said this on the podcast before. So I apologize for repeating myself, but I hate the good vibes. Only no bad days crew, because it's so unrealistic. And it makes people paradoxically so much more. Speaker 3: (08:57)And I think it makes them enraged. So I think the under for me, what usually yeah, under and under rage is extreme for me is extreme sadness and hopelessness. And, but the rage that comes up w with, you know, life is good. Crew is like, when people don't jive with it, because it's like, if life is good, then dot, dot, dot, wired children murdered. If life is good, then why are police killing? You know, like what are you talking about? And I think that's a spiritual bypass people do. Speaker 4: (09:32)So if I'm going to make an inspirational mug, mine is going to say, life is good dot, dot dot sometimes because it is good sometimes. And then on the other side, life is bad dot, dot, dot. Sometimes like the point is you take the good, when you can get it, Speaker 3: (09:51)[inaudible] burn out. I loved that show. My God loved it. Speaker 4: (10:02)2d on roller skates. I lived and died by T I w I roller skated because her, Speaker 3: (10:08)I was going to say, is that part of your cause you're a roller skater. Yeah. Uh, I was a big Joe fan, Speaker 4: (10:14)Joe. Aha. Yeah, she was cool. She was cool. Hated Blair. Of course, Speaker 3: (10:17)Most people did, Natalie. I felt bad for her Speaker 4: (10:22)For Natalie too. I kind of felt like she wanted her to get off. Speaker 3: (10:27)She was a trope. You know, she was a sad, sad truck. Well, I have been accepted as, uh, an official member of the Myrtle tree climate action team. [inaudible] Speaker 4: (10:41)The name of the group that does your CSA or your, whatever, your Speaker 3: (10:45)It's, the Myrtle tree cafe. They that's where they used to meet before COVID Myrtle. I think put, forgive me. If I say this wrong, a Myrtle tree cafe, climate action team. It's amazing. We're superheroes. That's a crazy, like I'm an official member. So I get a key and an orientation Wednesday, I'm telling you that gardening has really changed and changed my life in terms of my health and, and feeling like I'm doing something for the planet, both it's crazy. It's just gardening. It's not like I'm, you know, Speaker 4: (11:24)But that's what they say. Little acts are revolutionary. Like just being responsible for like learn, learn, even just learning where all your food comes from. And like, that's, that's a smaller Speaker 3: (11:36)Food came from. McDonald's like, I literally thought that that McDonald's was the food source, you know, or Jack in the box. That's not actually what it is. I was going to ask you, what are you going to grow? That's my question for you. Uh, we have Speaker 4: (11:54)Some debates about the things to grow. And mostly I was doing this. I was picking things out with my oldest son and he, he was actually being quite logical about it. He, I wanted to get kale and co and he was like, mom, nobody likes kale, including you, which is really true. And you're the only person who likes Brussels sprouts. And you're the only person who likes cauliflower. Let's get broccoli and bell pepper. And he loves hot things. So we got some jalapenos. And so we got a broccoli, a jalapeno, a bell pepper. And then we have, um, uh, my daughter has, she was really into the seeds thing. She got like a lunch and I don't feel, I feel like none of them are gonna work out, but she got some flowers and Speaker 3: (12:50)Some flowers might they're super hearty. Some flowers might come up and last for about 45 years. So just sunflowers are hurting. Speaker 4: (13:00)You have a great spot for sunflower. So that'd be great. So anyway, so we're just starting like easy peasy because you know, we don't, we've never done it before and we're not sure how it's going to go. So that is one to invest a bunch of money in something Speaker 3: (13:12)We'll do that. And if you have pests that are non, uh, this is so interesting to me when you have like aphids or inch worms or stuff like that. A lot of times, not all the times, I'm learning a lot of times, it means that your soil health is in jeopardy, not the actual plant. This is crazy. So a lot of times pest the TAC plants that aren't doing so well. Anyway, it's so crazy. I never knew that. I thought, Oh, they attack it because they're. Well, no, they might be, there might be an occasional inchworm, you know, like a Trump worm. But, but, but a lot of times pest can tell when the plant, the soil, Speaker 4: (13:55)I'm carrying around a semi with a bit to pay or whatever, Speaker 3: (14:02)There's our chick there's McDonald's McFlurry in one hand. Um, there's our kids show right there. Let me run this by you. Speaker 4: (14:23)I have a thing to talk to you about that is, um, it's kind of a bummer and I'm feeling good. I'm not sure if I should bring it up, but maybe I'll try to have a new perspective about it. Okay. I've had a couple memory slips that have been troubling. Speaker 3: (14:42)Oh, tell me all about, it Speaker 4: (14:45)Was one moment. I just couldn't remember my passcode to my phone. Okay. It came to me a couple of hours later. Okay. But I thought it was this one thing, and then it was Aaron had my phone and he's like, what's your passcode? And I, and I give him this passcode that doesn't work in it. And I'm like, Oh, well, maybe it's. And then all of a sudden it just like vanished. And I really started freaking out, like, yes, I freaked freaking out because, and I think, I think this might be something I inherited from my mother is very concerned about losing her memory. This is like her biggest fear. So whenever she forgets something, she panics and to the point that I feel she doesn't allow for any just normal forgetting of things, which I haven't had that problem berating myself for the normal forgetting things. Speaker 4: (15:44)But that passcode thing freaking like, it just, it just was gone. It was there. And then it was gone. That was one. And the other thing I'm probably going to have a hard time remembering. Um, no, I think actually there, isn't another thing like that. It's just more that I, it's just more that I, you know, because kids have great memories and my kids are constantly telling me, remember when we, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, ah, thankfully I really did. We, did we do that? Is that normal? Or should I start my Gingko biloba? I do so many, a word puzzle. I should have good brains. Speaker 3: (16:19)So what, the first thing that comes to mind is that I know, okay, this podcast right. Is bringing up a lot of memories for people, for us and for people. Okay. I believe that sometimes trauma stored when it comes out or even, even, even all this we're, we're taking in other people's trauma too. Right. That's true. So your mind can only hold so much. So I'm wondering if that also is a response to an overload of other your, and you do all the editing. You do every, you listen and listen. So you're taking it in over and over again. And the, and people were traumatized, you know, not everybody, but a lot of people that we talked to have been traumatized by their experience. So, uh, in college and so, and subsequent and what it meant and all that. So I'm wondering if you're partially it is just a trauma re a response to a lot of information going into your brain. Um, Speaker 4: (17:32)It could be, and as a, as a mother, I do have to remember so many. I mean, honestly, the landscape of what I have to remember is it's astounding. Um, and, and people do say that there's like a fog of motherhood that, you know, you never, you never get it back, but you have an excellent memory. You have an excellent short-term memory. Well, your long-term though. You've struggled to remember things about Speaker 3: (17:59)I never, no, I also never remember your birthday to save my life. Now I have it in my phone. Like, it's just so weird. And it's not just your birthday. I don't remember people. People will tell me my birthday is September 22nd. And I'm like, no, no, it's not. I went so no. So my memory, my memory, I also don't have children, but also, um, I know that, okay. So when my, when my father was dying in the hospital, my memory, I couldn't remember where I parked ever. When I would go visit him at the hospital, I would be sobbing, wandering around the parking lot until one came to pick me up in a little cart and drove me. And he said, the guy said it happens all the time with people visiting loved ones in the hospital, because they're so traumatized. They never remember where they parked, even though I would re I would like, I didn't even write it down, you know? Cause I was so wigged out, but I would say C 14, C four, or whatever it is and no memory after I would visit my father in the ICU. So I just think trauma and, um, or just Speaker 4: (19:10)Even upsetting feelings can Speaker 3: (19:13)Overload, um, listening to other people's stuff. It's it's our brains are not that big. If you think about it's like we have a super, I mean, you know, there's a lot there's and we only use, they say part of it, but I would venture to say, we use more than they say. Um, Speaker 4: (19:28)Yes. I recently read that that's a myth. It's not true that we use 10% of our abuse, all of our brains. I mean, which is not to say that you can, I think what that myth comes from is like, you can expand your, you can flex your muscle, your, the muscle of your brain, you can strengthen it or weaken it. Um, which is why I'm like addicted to doing all these little puzzles. Speaker 3: (19:51)Yeah. I mean, I know that it's scary. So then it's scary. So I had a similar thing where when we came back from, I would have sworn that my code to the locker was we have a locker that has stores are male. It's like, it's really great package lacquer. And I just couldn't for the mine was more like, I just knew in my head it was a number. And so I kept entering it and it was like, no, no, no. And I was like, well, something must be wrong with this machine. I had the wrong number the whole time, but I was convinced that it was this one number. And I'm like, and anyway, I was dumbfounded when I found out it was really this other number. I was like, Speaker 4: (20:29)Yeah. I mean, I, I, now that we're talking about it, I, I do think it's normal, but it's also about aging. It's really hard to separate out. Oh, hang on. My phone is ringing. It's really hard to separate out the things that we should be worried versus the things that are normal. Right. Speaker 3: (20:50)Bought it with my ticker. I'm like, Oh my gosh. You know? And my, my cardiologist is not that worried, but then I get worried. It's just, um, you hit, this is what my in the hospital, what they told me, you hit 40, between 40 and 50. And the check engine light comes on 90% more than it ever does. And you're like, what is happening in what? And, and really what, we're, what I'm asking. Anyway, when I ask these questions of doctors and things is when am I going to die? Am I going to die? Is this going to kill me? And it's not, I'm not like we talk about, I'm not petrified of death. What I'm petrified of is losing control. Right? So I'm really asking, is this going to be something I have no control over? And like at any moment is some weird stuff going to happen to me. And the answer is maybe they don't know, but they, they know more than we do use because of all the schooling and the, and the research. But they, no one can tell you exactly when you're going to die. Speaker 4: (21:50)Dare I say, we can't know until we know always looking to land that plane right back and forth today, Speaker 3: (22:03)I'll tell you about my poop in the backyard story. All right. I was a latchkey kid, as a lot of us were. And my mom was a working mom who, who was very, very type a at times and mean at times. And, uh, woes talks about that. And Lee left my key, lost my key or left it at school or something came home. No key, no way. I was going to walk to my mom's office, which was only eight blocks away because I was petrified because I left my key. I was just going to wait until someone got home. Pretend I had just walked home. It was a whole orchestrated thing app. But then I had to go to the bathroom number two. And I was like, Oh no, what do you do? So a normal person might go to the neighbor's house. Who might, by the way, might've had a key and said, can I use your bathroom? Speaker 3: (22:56)But I was so embarrassed that I had to poop that I didn't. So then I'm waiting and I'm like, I got poop. So then I tried to break in the house by pulling screens out of the basement and I break a window and I'm like, Oh my God. Gosh. So it just, anyway, I ended up pooping in the backyard. Okay. This is rough pooping in the backyard doing my business. It was a whole situation. Uh, and then someone came home and I, I, my, I did my plan as a plan. Right. And did your scene, did my scene? It worked out, people were received really convinced. Don't ask me any of the technical stuff about the pooping, but anyway, so the point not that you were going to, but the, the, the point is then in the middle we're we're having, uh, a fine evening. And then I hear my mom's screaming in the basement. Oh no. She's like someone tried to break in and I don't say anything. This is the thing about fear and shame. I say nothing. They call the police. Speaker 4: (24:03)No. Oh dear. Uh, Oh, this is not good. Speaker 3: (24:07)He's come. And they're like, and I'm petrified. They're going to dust for prints. And then match as only a child who was obsessed with true crime. This was right around the time of America's most wanted and uncle mysteries. And I'm like, Oh my God, how do I get off my fingerprints? I didn't go down that road. I didn't cut myself or hurt myself in any way. Other than my pride and shame, the police are like, well, it, yeah, it looks like someone may have tried to break in, but so then, but they left, but then it didn't end there in the middle of the night, I set my alarm and I went down into the basement and I took the glass, the remaining glass, and I walked three blocks and put it in someone else's garbage so that they could never find my prints again. Speaker 3: (25:03)So I was telling this to a friend and they were like, Whoa, we were unpacking it. And I guess the thing is, I was so ashamed. It was so I was so ashamed of the mom thing, but it manifested in the poop thing. And like, just ashamed that I had needs of any kind or that I would make a mistake or forget something that I went to such lengths to cover it up. And I just, I think we do these things and it just reminds me of like, you know what we always say on this podcast, which is like, you know, it's better to just own up, but when you're a kid and you feel like you're going to die or something terrible is going to happen to you, if you, if you own up to your mistake, you go through such lengths. And I just am not willing to go through those lengths anymore. I just can't do it. I just, it's not worth it. And one of the things Speaker 4: (25:56)Is that we've learned from the people who have almost come on the podcast, but then ultimately said, I can't, it's too painful. Um, we've often had the experience that those people seemed perfectly happy, go lucky, et cetera. So, so, so we, as humans are constantly berating ourselves, like you say, for having needs, for having bad experiences, to the point that we won't share with anybody that we're having a bad experience, which of course makes us feel worse, more lonely, more isolated, more helpless, more hopeless. Um, so that, Speaker 3: (26:37)You know, it's almost like Speaker 4: (26:39)The dam, the dam breaks you, you, you can only shove or, or the image of the closet. You can only shove so many things in the closet. And one day you open up the closet and it just can't take it anymore. And it all comes spilling out. And it's understandable. I'm not saying that people should, you know, I'm not saying that it should be any other way than it is. I'm just saying, I guess what I'm really saying is if you're 25 and listening to this, and you're a person who's hiding all of your things, just ask yourself, what is it, what am I hiding? What am I really afraid of? And like, try to tease it out. Is this something you should really be ashamed about or afraid of sharing with other people? Because it's probably not that big of a deal. Speaker 3: (27:24)No, it's not worth it. It's not, usually it's not worth it now. I don't know. You know, for me, it has not been worth it. So I was thinking about that story, just the gymnastics. I went through the physical gymnastics. The, I could have cut myself on the glass, like what in the, but it just, it's a deep thing. And I was telling a friend that, and she was like, Whoa, this is so deep. So is it that you're Speaker 4: (27:49)Thinking because your mom is type a or you thinking she's, she's the kind of person who's definitely going to try to get to the bottom of this and would, would raise, would get to the point where she would be asking somebody to dust for fingerprints. Speaker 3: (28:06)It was more like, it was more like trying to put that floating Molly bolt shelf into the wall that, and the whole, it just, the story of my childhood was whenever I was doing the best I could. But whenever I, I would try to keep it all together. The whole would get bigger and bigger and no one would help me out of the hole. I think that's the other part is that I had to do everything by myself and that my mother would ultimately say, what is wrong with you? You should have X, Y, and Z. So instead of facing that shame, I just tried to do it on my own and it never worked ever, ever, never, ever. So I think, yeah, I think it's the fact of I was alone and I just kept making things worse because I didn't know. I couldn't, I didn't feel like I could share with anybody. So it's like at some point you got to step back from the hole in the wall and say, I'm licked. This has got me. I need to ask for a mechanic. A handy has, I don't even know a handyman to help, not a mechanic. Speaker 4: (29:12)The thing that also that, that tends to do in people, um, when they feel like they can never ask anybody for help is they can never develop intimate relationships with people because you, you, if you can never trust that. So when were you first in your life, was it with miles that you were first able to have real intimacy that you would just be yeah. Trust him too. Speaker 3: (29:34)Yeah. That needs to not go away to not leave, to not be like, Oh my God, you forgot your key. I'm never talking to you. You know, whatever it is. That was really, so I, that was, I was 30. I mean, come on. I mean, 30 years old, 30 years of not trusting. So it's really interesting. That takes a toll on your ticker. I'm telling you right now, you take a toll on your ticker. Um, yeah. So just, just a little, a light, poop story to wrap it up today. It's all, it's all, frankly, it's all poop stories. It's all food stories, right? At the end of the day, it's all, it's all shame Speaker 5: (30:19)Today on the podcast, we talk with Paul Holmquist Paul home quiz. We went to school with back in the day and after we graduated, he continued to be a theater actor for many years, and then transitioned into directing for the stage. At a couple of years ago, he felt he really wanted to make a difference. And he decided to become a high school English teacher, which is what he does now, in addition to being an artist he's thoughtful and kind his stories really were moving. And I'm so grateful that he decided to speak with us. So please enjoy our conversation with Paul home quit. This is my second year. I just joined the profile. Very new. You just became a teacher two years ago. Speaker 3: (31:06)Oh, that's cool. Where do you teach? Speaker 6: (31:08)Yeah, I teach at a South side, Chicago vocational high school called shop, uh, Chicago vocational career Academy. It's down by the Skyway. Like if you're driving down the Skyway, there's a giant, looks like a Batman villain, hideout. That's Chicago vocational. Speaker 3: (31:25)And so did you, um, how come you made that career shift? Yeah. Tell us all about it. Tell us all about it Speaker 6: (31:34)Is it's okay to talk politics. Sure. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, uh, you know, when Trump got elected, I was like, I gotta do something different and I don't quite know what it is, but maybe I could teach high school English because I have a background in theater, but it just seemed like maybe I need to do something because I was working a really great day job for like 15 years that had benefits in it, fairly decent salary, allowing me to do theater and stuff. But once the election hit, it was just felt like something I needed to change something. I was not very satisfied with. Um, you know, there was like no growth at my day job. What was that job? Uh, admin administrative assistant position at, at, uh, Columbia college. So I was still kind of close to the artistic community while I was working there. Speaker 6: (32:23)But, um, I had kind of a neurotic boss and I was there for 15 years and there was no, like, there was no growth. I'd kind of plateaued there. Um, and I wasn't making a difference anywhere, so it felt like I needed to do something. So I was like, I'm going to become a high school English teacher. Wow. Uh, so I went back to DePaul. I became a double demon and I that's what they call it. That's what they call it. Um, so I went to the college of education and got a master's, uh, there Speaker 2: (32:54)That's so great. Uh, education is a fantastic way to make a difference. Speaker 6: (33:00)Yeah. It's um, and it's, uh, a good segue from the, uh, from the theater work. I mean, there's, there's a lot of parallels Speaker 2: (33:09)Say, uh, beans. Didn't say her usual opening. Congratulations, Paul Holmquist you survived theater school. Speaker 6: (33:17)I'm still here to tell the tale. Speaker 2: (33:18)I want to be a double demon. I love this phrase. I think we should use it all ways. Even if you didn't get two degrees from DePaul, I feel I'm a double demon because I spent so much time talking about school. Speaker 6: (33:31)Right? You got a master's degree in the theater school after going to the funeral, Speaker 2: (33:35)By the way, I have masters in processing your theater school education. Speaker 6: (33:40)My I've been listening to your podcast now. And I had, I actually had to take a break before for the last week or else I'd be too neurotic about what I was going to say too, but I really find this podcast to be so personally helpful. Like I find it's like, it feels like a, like a group therapy kind of process, but protracted where Rouge taking turns, but hearing other alum, just talk about what they experienced. I was like, Holy cow, I'm not alone. I had similar experiences and wow. Wow. Speaker 2: (34:14)What's, what's an example of something that really resonated with you. Speaker 6: (34:18)Hm. Well, I guess I, I thought this is coming off of hearing, uh, interviews from, from friends like Bradley Walker and Eric Slater is I thought those upperclassmen guys had it all together. You know, Lee, Lee, Kirk, I thought these guys were like, just had just knew what they were going for and knew what they were doing. They just seemed so successful. And I was felt like, you know, like I was flailing along, trying to find my way. It's so great to hear that, um, to hear, uh, Bradley talk about his, uh, coin tricks with, with such despair, like as if it, but on my end, I thought he was the coolest dude. Like he had this cool thing and Slater was so awesome. Like, I didn't know he was insecure. Like all, I've just, all of that stuff is really, really great. Speaker 2: (35:10)I, I think that's, I mean, obviously that's part of why, why I think we do it is, is, is to, um, facilitate some kind of, if not healing, cause that's a kind of lofty word, but some kind of let's not go there, but, but, um, understanding or comradery in the fact that we all, um, went through this thing, it's true. And most people felt like an outsider. Most people. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I want to be like, if you're, if you're in theater score right now, spoiler alert, everybody look around you, the person on your right and bruise on your left. They also feel the same way you do. Uh, but unfortunately we cannot say that at the time because we're busy, like trying to seem like we have it all together. That's, that's a common thing. And there is also a little bit of like, you don't want to admit weakness in theater school, except at the exact moment you need to access it for a scene that you're in. Speaker 6: (36:10)Well, I, and it really it's. It strikes for me the difference between being an MFA and being a BFA is coming in as an adolescent. Like you're still in developmental processes that haven't resolved while you're going through this, you know, self-reflective, um, w all the body stuff, uh, that comes up, and that was so fascinating to hear that it came up for other people too. Like all of that stuff is part of while we're in the process of personality development to have to be under fire from these artists, from the seventies who have different politics and strange ideas, Bob Dylan taught us. Speaker 2: (36:52)Yeah, exactly. So, but when you were doing your day job, um, that you left work, you were doing theater at night. Is that what, Speaker 6: (37:02)Yeah. Um, I mean, for the past, like 20 years, I've, I've directed and acted in shows, um, pretty regularly. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2: (37:12)And w um, did you have like a, a place where you mostly hung out a theater company that you were a part of, Speaker 6: (37:18)Right? Yeah. So right after college, um, I didn't really hook up with a theater company, but that seemed to be the, the way for Chicago actors to go after graduation was to like either link up together or link up with another theater company to start. And I, I remember because the timeline was so new then, um, and I did a show with them, like their second show that Barry Burnett directed. And, um, and I had a feeling in my, I had like this investment in my heart, like, okay, I'm going to be a timeline guy regret. I'm going to join up with PJ. And, and we're, I'm going to be a part of that Juliet and be a part of that group. And it didn't pan out that way. I ended up, um, kind of gravitating up into Andersonville, working with the Griffin theater where another, uh, DePaul alumni and Rick Barletta was, uh, artistic director. Speaker 6: (38:11)Um, he was a good minimal director, Goodman train director. Um, so I still stuck with some DePaul people, um, kind of grew up with the Griffin theater. And then, uh, in 2006, I joined lifeline theater, which is up here in Rogers park, uh, where I live. So it comes through from where I live and I've been there since we do literary adaptations, um, all original plays. And, uh, so I've had the pleasure of directing amazing stuff, like the count of Monte Cristo and Frankenstein and the Island of Dr. Moreau and, um, you know, British murder mysteries and a wide range of really cool. Speaker 2: (38:49)Fantastic. How did you go? So you started directing then. So how did you bridge that situation? Speaker 6: (38:55)I, I, yeah, I kind of, well through my, a little bit of set up here. So through my day job, I got, um, trained in Laban's movement analysis, which is a movement theatrical, physical expressional, expressionistic movement, modality. It's kinda like, um, I don't know if you remember, Patrice did stuff with us about, uh, punch and float, like dad, that kind of stuff. So, um, through the department I was working for, I was able to get a graduate certificate in this modality for free, and I wanted to apply it to my own acting. And so I, I was doing, I was playing a cat in a, uh, in a, in a young adult show called Angus thongs. And full-frontal, snogging at, uh, at Griffin theater. I played, I played Angus. I had no lines, but I was a cat and I was doing all this physical stuff. Speaker 6: (39:53)And I was getting to know through that production, um, a lot of the, uh, uh, main players that lifeline, because they were doing a lot of the design on this show and kind of getting to know them and having a good rapport with them. They're designers not, um, are not, uh, acting, directing people. Um, but I've developed a good rapport with them. And that kind of started to introduce me to the people at lifeline. And eventually they invited me to direct a kid's show, um, just as an experiment. And I tried directing, uh, Ricky ticky TAVI, and that became a great success. Um, and then after that, my first, actually my first main stage show was, uh, the Island of Dr. Moreau, which was a 90 minute immersive, violent horror piece. So I like, I right away jumped into something that was really bizarre and, uh, unusual. And since then, it's been just a blast. I mean, I get to get a lot of creative freedom. Speaker 2: (40:51)I have to ask you a question. I recently have heard this term all over the place immersive. And I don't, if I knew what it was previously, I, it, it didn't drop in because when I think of immersive, I think like you go to a haunted house, Speaker 6: (41:09)Right? No. Right, right. I guess I think of immersive as be like a full sensory experience, as much as possible. And, um, you know, in storefront theaters, especially places like lifeline, where you can have entrances surround the audience, you can really have the sense of like an actor's right next to you that, and they're acting like an animal breathing in your ear and it creates a sort of sense of tension. I'm going back 20 years. And I'm thinking about this show, but that's what I think of an immersive theater. People might think of it as like you're wandering around from room to room. You're more interactive like that, I guess. Speaker 2: (41:47)Yeah. It's I saw cats on Broadway in the eighties. It was him. Cats came right next to me. So that was immersive. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for clarifying that because, uh, I, I thought it was one of those things, like I felt it was, it was too dumb to ask about. Okay. So where you, Speaker 6: (42:06)Uh, I'm from upstate New York. I'm from the Rochester New York area, a little suburb called Webster. Speaker 2: (42:12)Okay. And, um, but you have not ever returned there after school. You stayed in Chicago. You've been in Chicago, stayed in Chicago. Okay. Yeah. Did you grow up acting? Speaker 6: (42:22)Uh, yeah, I thought of this, of course. Like, I think it was around fourth grade that I was in my first school play and it felt like, um, uh, people liked what I was doing and it was, it was one of those, like I'm coming into my own. I'm like 10 years old, starting to figure out, you know, think about who I might want to be identity wise. And that seemed to, um, to work for me now, then when I changed schools in seventh grade, I was shy. I was never really athletic or, um, I picked up the trumpet, but I wasn't a great musician, you know, but I got a lot of great response when I did theater work. And that just kind of, uh, that's what grew, you know, you gravitate towards those things where you get the positive feedback Speaker 2: (43:12)That is. Did you have, did you have one of those intense, uh, like high school drama? I know you said you've listened to some of the podcasts. You've probably heard tell if some character, uh, teachers from high school. Speaker 6: (43:25)I had a wonderful drama person who was not, we had no drama classes. We did not take any acting classes or have any, any sort of immersion like that. We just did two shows a year, a play and a musical. And, um, uh, so you just hung out at the club and, and picked up what you picked up. But my drama teacher, she knew that I was serious and there was a, uh, a guy who's a year ahead of me in college who ended up going to Tisch, um, a year ahead of me in high school. I ended up going and he and I were, we did a two man show called the greater tuna. Can I show you something real quick? Hold on. I was like, tuna is hilarious. That's from greater China. So this is Mark and I in costume playing all of our different characters in high school. Speaker 2: (44:21)Amazing. Wow. That's some production value. Speaker 6: (44:28)So that's a high school. It's a two man show. Uh, multicharacter, it's kind of like mystery of Irma VEP where, you know, you run off stage and you change costume real quick and come back on. So Mark and I, we took, uh, our acting kind of seriously. We took ourselves somewhat seriously as actors. Um, and, uh, Tish was definitely on my list when I was looking for colleges. Speaker 2: (44:51)Well, yeah. How'd you end up at DePaul. I love the, the choosing stories or how they choose. Speaker 6: (44:57)Um, yeah, totally. So, uh, Tish, uh, I was accepted at Tisch and I even got a little money at Tisch, but they accepted me into the experimental theater wing and I had no idea what that was and it didn't seem like me. I mean, I had grown up in kind of a cul-de-sac of a suburb, you know, with very limited exposure to what experimental theater might even be. So, but DePaul just felt like so nice. I came to DePaul after, uh, visiting New York city and then auditioning there. And, um, so I auditioned at DePaul in the theater school building with Dave [inaudible]. He wouldn't remember that he was in my audition group, but I remember him in his cutoff jeans and his Janice chocolate. T-shirt very well. I was so enamored with him because he seemed so, um, organic. Whereas I was at wearing a black mock turtleneck and black jeans and slicked back hair, and I was trying to be very artistic. I was also in the middle of playing Tevya in a Fiddler on the roof in high school, the most Arion Tevya Speaker 2: (46:10)Well, you probably didn't have any Jews in your high school Speaker 6: (46:14)If I, yeah. I don't know if we did. They probably weren't involved in the theater department as much as I want. Yeah. So it was like, uh, I was coming in there trying to be a serious artist and I saw David, um, and I didn't know him, you know, at all. I was just seeing him for the first time. And I was like, this is wild. This is what I want to get into. So part of what inspired me was John Jenkins leading the, uh, audition, which I thought he was just a brilliant guy and watching David and the audition made me feel like I want to be there. Speaker 2: (46:46)Does he know that now? You we'll have to tell him to listen to this one. You just remind, I guess we haven't really ever talked boss, correct me if I'm wrong. Have we ever talked about the fact that we did part of the audition all together in the same room? Is that what you're talking about? Like the thing, Speaker 6: (47:07)So John, I remember this so vividly, uh, John had us doing a scenario where we were, um, a Hunter in a forest and we were going to like walk along one side of the wall and the animal that we're hunting does a diagonal cross across the room. And we chase after it and halfway through crossing the room, we leak like the animal is supposed to mimic the animals. And part of the crossing, like the hunting, we were supposed to step on rocks in a stream or something like that to cross it. And I was just like, Oh, you know, I had everything planned out. I remember overthinking it very much, but also like being in line, waiting your turn, you're observing how other people are doing it. And this is, this is where David really comes in because when he left like that animal, he seemed to take air in the room, uh, because he was Unbound by his own, you know, insecurity or at least that's the way I interpret it. Wow. I'm really, do you find David kind of funny? Speaker 2: (48:05)That's okay. It's okay. So you said taking yourself seriously and overthinking ding, ding, ding. These are things I really relate to. These are near and dear to my heart. What is your journey then of taking yourself seriously? And, you know, like, has there been any Speaker 6: (48:22)Evolution or moving on that, like, you're going to think I'm nuts for saying this, but I swear that the show has helped in a little way. So I feel like I'm still in a process of recognizing what my expectations were, you know, for myself and my career. How did those change was and how w how was I influenced to change my ideas about that? And where am I now? Like, what do I want for myself now as an artist? And then how has that shifted, uh, that, so I've done a lot of processing on those because I am in therapy and I have been for a while, but also your show has really helped also turn some pages for me. So, thanks. Speaker 2: (49:01)So welcome believably. Wonderful. Thank you. That's very touching. I just want it. So in terms of taking yourself seriously, I feel like there that's a way to go. I took myself. It was like, I had such self-centered fear that I didn't take myself seriously, but I took my fear really seriously, of the, of, of being at school. You know, it was different. I wish I had taken myself seriously as an artist, but really what I did was just dive right into my shame and feeling. I just really did a deep dive into that. And so I'm wondering, how did you learn to take you're like, I know we're saying like, taking ourselves seriously can be kind of a, it can be, um, an Achilles heel, but also like, did you just, were you just born with like, yes, I'm an artist and here I am at school? Speaker 6: (49:52)No. I mean, I think that what started up school was using alcohol and drugs to keep myself from feeling that kind of fear and insecurity. So, um, you know, going at school, going to classes with kind of a boldness and an energy while also fighting a little bit of a hangover, or maybe still maybe, maybe coming to class a little high, you know, that helped a lot. Now, there you go. That makes, and then, and it all fit in with taking myself seriously as an artist because artists drink get high all the time. You would talk about apartment, what was it through your car? And like, you know, we're going to get high and we're going to do space out there at work. Like I'm a serious artist, you know, I can really feel the weight of my space objects when I am stone. Speaker 2: (50:47)You guys, do you ever wonder, like, is that, do you think that's still part of the college? I guess it probably is. It's probably still very much a part of the college experience, Speaker 6: (50:57)Right? Yeah. I don't think drugs will ever stop being or anything that's illegal is going to stop. Speaker 2: (51:03)It's just that we T we talked to somebody last week who is at the theater school now he's graduating this year and I didn't ask him, but I wanted to know, like, so, like, what's the, I mean, he's talked very wonderfully about the experience of, of being an actor at the school, but I also kind of wanted you to like, what's the whole social scene. I want it to be like, where you like me drinking Mickey's forties, big mouth and peeing on school property, but I didn't ask him, but I did not ask that because I thought, yeah, he probably, he might not have wanted to say in any case in it. Speaker 6: (51:41)Well, um, my wife is on faculty there now, so she teaches, she teaches movement there now. And I've been back a couple of times that directed an intro there, and I've done some guest lecturing there. So I've been back in the new building and the old building before it was torn down. So I've kind of maintained some ties to the theater school over the years. Um, and I don't think, I think the students, the student experience has changed just because the times have changed so much, you know, and the, the, um, but, and I think they're a little bit more savvy than perhaps we were, they don't do the God squad parties, but I think they still probably have some form of God squad, but it's not the like, Speaker 2: (52:26)Right. That's probably for the best, you know, I was going to say the person we interviewed that is at the theater school, talked about your wife and said that one of the reasons that he loved the audition process was, or when he went, he took, I think, a movement class with her and, and that he talked about her. So anyway, we're coming full circle here. It's real crazy. Speaker 6: (52:47)That's great. And it's so fun to hear these stories too, and to talk about them with Christina, because she's working with Phyllis and Patrice, uh, she worked with John, she worked with John Bridges. She's, you know, she knows these people, so they're, and so that history is still living, you know, sensory still. Yes. Speaker 2: (53:03)So what did you, so you got this movement training and Oh, and you with it, you taught that's, that's Speaker 6: (53:10)A little bit of teaching that way. Okay. Speaker 2: (53:12)Sorry. Did you say where you were teaching that Speaker 6: (53:15)Columbia at Columbia college, Chicago, but not in the theater department. It was through this other, uh, graduate, uh, arts therapy department that I was working. Oh, okay. Speaker 2: (53:26)So now that there's no more cuts system there, isn't this a direct connection between the theater school and Columbia, because yeah. Speaker 6: (53:35)You don't have a feeder college going into going into the code base. Right. Speaker 2: (53:38)Is it still a very robust acting program there? Speaker 6: (53:41)Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And, um, and still has that sort of scrappy energy, um, you know, Sheldon, I think really established, uh, um, um, uh, pathos around that place around that building and that program that still continues. Speaker 2: (53:59)Um, I was going to ask you while you were at the, the good old theater school, I remember you as being a musical theater guy. Am I making that up? Were you a big movie musical theater guy? Speaker 6: (54:11)I, yeah. I loved love to sing. Absolutely. And yeah, and Vanessa was more of the singer, but she and I would do, um, we were in that, uh, Michael Maggio, Keith redeem musical, the perpetual patient then Clemente was the lead in that, um, was that your final year? Maybe that was, yeah, it was after you got, Speaker 2: (54:34)But I was there. I remember. Yeah. Okay. So perpetual paste, that was a musical. Did you say Michael Maggio wrote it? Speaker 6: (54:41)Uh, Keith redeem wrote it. It was an adaptation of the imaginary invalid. So it was an adaptation of whole year made into a musical that, um, uh, um, Oh my gosh, Mike [inaudible], um, Mark Elliott Elliott wrote the music for Mark Elliot with the music for Keith redeem, did the script and the lyrics and Maggio directed. So Keith came to, uh, some of our rehearsals, um, because Keith and Michael had a relationship. So I got a lot of scripts autographed that day. Speaker 2: (55:16)How cool. So what are, what are some other roles that you loved or didn't Speaker 6: (55:24)Right, right. Um, well, working with Michael, I think were the two roles that really helped me understand myself as a character actor, I, where I did a missile Alliance, which Eric spoke about. Um, and I provided you one of the pictures of me, all the pictures of me have a mustache attached to them seem to be my go-to, but yeah, being, uh, being in an Ms Alliance and playing a character role in that with a kind of a goofy dialect and silly physicality and extreme stakes and working with like Tim Gregory and, uh, you know, Louise Rosette and Eric and all these Ellen and all these great people. Like I was, I was a junior and it was my, it was the fall of my junior year and I was on the main stage. And I remember that being like, that was pretty prestigious. That was pretty cool. Um, yeah, I'll, I'll probably forget that show so that one, and I would say perpetual patient were both really big for me in regards to embracing my character actor stuff. Speaker 2: (56:32)Anything, anything that you weren't so pleased about? Speaker 6: (56:37)Um, gosh, I mean, going, even going back to intros, I tried to, you know, you try to make the most out of everything, even when I had like, um, a, like a walk-on role in something you try to, you ever hear the story about, um, Betsy Hamilton said the story about Don Elko and she saw him on stage once he was the third speared carrier to the left. And she, that he was so memorable in that role with no minds. And I remember her saying this, like, you can make anything out of, you know, if you working with the director. So I always try to make something out of the roles I was in. I remember Jenkins saying to me, after we did bombing Gilliad as an intro, and he had Joseph Cora and I flipped roles halfway through the play where Joe played the lead, the first half of the play. And then I played a double lead, like seconds before he got shot. And like, it was so hard to get into that role and to like, try and feel like I'm that character in the moment that I know I'm about to die. And like, that was really hard. And John apologized for that, but that was, that's the only regret. Speaker 2: (57:46)Did he do that? Because it made sense for the player. He was just trying to get people more staged. Speaker 6: (57:52)Yeah. I think that's the, you know, the sort of unspoken rule of the intros. It's like, you want to give everyone some kind of equal some sort of equal, but I was happy playing the role of the coffee shop owner in the first half in the first act. I would've stuck with that. That was fine with me. Speaker 2: (58:12)What about, did you have, uh, or do you have, now I know you are very interested in movement, but like other tendencies then, or now writing, um, I guess directing, you've done some of w are there other areas of the craft that maybe you wish you could have explored more than? Speaker 6: (58:34)Yeah. So voiceover is something that I, I was interested in since I was an adolescent, since I was young. I really love voiceover. Do you remember when I was in college and we had a voiceover instructor, she was like a friend of Susan leaves who came in for a quarter. She said to me, uh, the age of radio is over. You don't really have a place in this business. She was, she was all about the kind of a raspy, vocal fry, female voice that was popular at the time. So she was really promoting those female voices and was basically like, you need to take a back seat. I'm sorry. The age of radio is over. You're not going to have a place in this business. And I took seriously because I was 19. I was like, Oh. And so since then, I, I have experienced the, uh, repercussions of that, even though I'm looking intellectually aware of it, like trying to get into the voiceover business, I'm hobbled. Like I can't push through the difficult first months of trying to establish something. I can't get through that point. So I, I just kinda gave up on that. I liked the sound of my voice. Speaker 2: (59:52)Oh, I'm so surprised. You're not a voiceover actor that I, in fact, back in my mind, I think I assumed that you did voiceover, but wait, what are you, I'm trying to understand what you're saying. You're saying that you, when you try to establish yourself, you find yourself like undoing it or, or, or you feel that the hurdles are insurmountable. Speaker 6: (01:00:13)Well, I, I w whenever I've tried to get started, I feel like there's, and this is the thing with being a white guy, I think is like, there's way too many of me. I don't think that I have that much uniqueness to offer, to upset the business and become something that I, you know, to add something to the community. So at this point, I feel like now at first I was hobbled with the age of radio was over. And now I feel like I'm feeling a little like, well, I guess I don't really have anything new to bring to voiceover. I would just be really impersonating the guys that came before me. Um, so maybe that's believing some of what was told to me when I was an adolescent a little bit, and also kind of reckoning with, you know, just where we're at as a society right now. And as a culture right now, maybe it's a mix of both, but it's really nice. Speaker 2: (01:01:07)So the age of radio has never been over. Right. Cause then, right. Speaker 2: (01:01:16)It's also not true. So, so what I, what, what sticks out to me is that when we're 19 and these people in power say things like that, the repercussions hear me. Now, if you are an instructor of some kind, they ripple out until you are 45 years old, and you are still dealing with them. Now, I'm not saying they did it on purpose. Maybe some people did, but it's harmful. And so I think, I think it's. And I also think that I want you to meet my voiceover agent. And I also think that, that I, um, I just didn't shocked at what we say. And Gina and I talk about this because Gina has kids. I don't, but just that what we say matters to people and you have kids, and what we say matters to people, um, more than we could ever know, it drives me insane when I hear stuff like that. Um, because I've heard it too stuff, and it's not fair. And we were 19 and you have a fantastic voice and you're kind, that's the other thing it's like, you can hear the kindness in your voice, and I'm so serious, and we need that in this industry. So that's all I'll say on that. Get off my box. But man, Speaker 6: (01:02:28)Thanks for saying that. But I want to say something too, about what you were saying with the messages. There was something that I'll say his name. You can edit it out later, said to me in his office one day and I'm surprised, I bet there's a lot of stories. Speaker 2: (01:02:42)Oh yes. We believe his name on the regular. Speaker 6: (01:02:47)So he had me in his office. Uh, I think it was like sophomore year, like second year and he's, and I was sitting in his office and he said, all right, get up. Mike stood up. And he said, turn around. I turned around in a circle and said, no, turn your back to me. I turned my back to him. He was still sitting down and I was standing and he slapped me on the, both cheeks. He said, this is getting too big, sit down. And I sat down. He said, if you're going to get anywhere, you have to lose some weight. Your is getting too big. Speaker 2: (01:03:24)Oh my God, I'm sorry. That happened to you. Speaker 6: (01:03:32)Well, you know what I feel like at that time, and I've talked about this story a lot, but after listening to your show, I've been thinking about it more. Like, I feel like what he was trying to do. I think what he was trying to do, if I assume the best is he thought that that was the form that I needed to fit in order to be successful. You know? Like, and I, and when I was looking at my headshot and said, that's your, uh, can I come move your casting couch for your headshot? I was like, yeah, awesome. This is cool. I'm going to be the sexy young guy. Right. Um, but that wasn't me. And I didn't know that that wasn't me. I wanted it to be me. Speaker 2: (01:04:13)Sure. Of course you did. You want it to be liked and loved and picked and worked and feel Speaker 6: (01:04:17)And sexy and cool and stuff, you know? So I want it to fit those molds. I want it to lose the weight. I want it to be the casting couch guy. I wanted to be, you know, I wore a leather jacket with the collar, pop to my hair, you know, the sideburns and the Urim and stuff. And I did the whole thing. Um, and I went to LA and I went to meetings, but my personality isn't that. So I didn't follow through on the expectation. Speaker 2: (01:04:45)You didn't know who you were because people were helping you to say, this is who you should be. And it really, probably somewhere inside you were like, no, no, I can't just like, if you're not. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. How can you show up at 21 or 22 at meetings with adult people that are trying to, that want you to sell certain things? And in your core, something about your being is like, this isn't, this isn't me. It's going to not work out. Speaker 6: (01:05:12)I spent money on a really slim fitting, nice suit, you know, good sunglasses walked into the meeting trying to feel like, yeah, I'm this, I'm the sexy guy. That's gonna solve all your Hollywood PR problems. But I couldn't hold a conversation because I didn't have the confidence, you know, despite the cost, Speaker 2: (01:05:30)I wouldn't even know why, how could you have confidence when people are telling you you're too fat, you need to do this and you're, or, or you're you're yes. You're headed in the right. Speaker 6: (01:05:39)Right. Speaker 2: (01:05:40)You guys, I just feel so sick to my stomach about that story. And I, I, part of what makes it, so, um, sickening is that, I mean, he touched it, but he also, he made you turn around something about that is like, it just really is hitting me right in the center of my chest, because how dare you? How dare you. Speaker 6: (01:06:03)It was so vulnerable. You know, it was a really vulnerable moment. And I feel like we, we put ourselves in vulnerability with our, with our teachers in that, in that Mel you right in the conservatory program, um, whatever, the modality of art that you're studying, you're in a really vulnerable place for experiments. And you're putting stuff out there that represents you. Speaker 2: (01:06:26)That's right. And, and, and so like for anybody in college, probably the experiences, uh, that child has had pretty much the same set of people, their whole life, reflecting back to them who they are. And then you don't know this, but part of why you go to college is to have other people reflect back to you who you are, so that you can figure it out and decide which one, and which is why we all do that. So many. And in high school too, like trying on personalities and trying to see what's going to fit. And then in theater, it's like, you're trying to do that. You are receiving messages from people about how you're perceived, but then you're also being asked to be open, to be anything new. It's just so tricky and dangerous. And, and, and there are so many billions of ways that, that self-image can be, uh, splintered, right? Some of them might be good, but a lot of them are really not Speaker 6: (01:07:29)Well in the highest value that we bring into the classroom is our vulnerability, right. Being, being as open and open, open, open, open, open, and neutral as possible, right. Ego lifts is try to be as equal as possible. So we're so receptive Speaker 2: (01:07:45)Were so receptive and were so fragile. You know, people are fragile. We're also fragile. It's like, I just, I I'm just always shocked at how quickly someone will, someone can, um, crumple a child. [inaudible] the episode that era's today is the one with Erica who mentioned you she's she's actually, when, when we interviewed her, she said, have you talked to Paul? Yeah. And also she's the reason that week. I think I called your email. You sorry, later that day. Um, but Oh my God, I just lost my train of thought something Erica said maybe about, about the theater school. She said a lot. Oh no. We were talking in today's episode in the first part about, Oh, victim impact statements. That's what it was. We were talking about victim impact statement. Ooh, we should w maybe we can't do it in real life, but we could write a play where students gave their victim impact statements to their teachers. Speaker 2: (01:08:47)Right? Like you had the opportunity kind of like in defending your life, you have this long, it's not really like fighting in life, but you have, you get this kind of council of teachers. And then everybody who was their student, if a toxic teachers can come in and say, this is what you did, probably you didn't mean to probably no teacher would say what I really wanted Paul to do was, uh, never consider voiceover, even though that's what he totally wanted to do. She wouldn't have said, she thought she was doing, you're such a favor. Speaker 6: (01:09:18)Right, right. You'll waste your time. Speaker 2: (01:09:21)That's what it is. They think they're saving you from the humiliation that then they're reflecting on the moment that they're second. They think they're saving you. And really they're, they're slowly killing you. I mean, like it's real in a way it's real. Speaker 6: (01:09:36)Hmm. This feels like a non-sequitur, but I want to follow it. So, Gina, I know that you directed under milkweed. Uh, I also directed under milk. Um, we, we rehearsed at the theater building in the courtyard and so really had a strong connection to production of that play in school so much so that I really wanted to recreate that experience for another audience. Was that your experience too? Yes. Yeah. So he can't all be the devil because that play was so beautiful that it touched me. I mean, it moved me for the rest of my life, you know, and that came from him and his heart. So there was something about like, I really trusted him because he was so earnest and passionate about the capital T truth. So I fed, I thought that I totally bought into that. And I believe that he believed it. Speaker 2: (01:10:35)Dude, if we could interview him, he would probably have stories that would, you know, make your hair stand on, end about what people said to him or what people did to him. I mean, that's what we find. Right. And then his teacher would say, they literally beat me on the side of the head when I did something wrong. It's just this thing. It's just like what the, the traumatization is almost like an absolute value. Hopefully, hopefully not forever. Um, just the onl

Jude enters the Ward of the Wisps, Zelda's time finally comes, and Barb takes a bubble bath. The theme of tonight's episode is Spirits. (To avoid spoilers, content warnings are listed at the end of this episode description). The bonus story that goes with this episode is 'Friendly', and is available for Hallowoods patrons on the show's Patreon, along with behind-the-scenes, merchandise, and more! Because the show runs without ads or sponsors, we rely on support from fans to guarantee the survival of this LGBTQ+ horror podcast.   ‘Ward of the Wisps' was written by Bradley Walker, author of the novel ‘The Catalyst'! Often found near London, Bradley is also a writer, ghostwriter and writing tutor. You can find more of Bradley's scripts, short stories, and other works at his author website, or find him on Twitter or Instagram at @bradders59.   Hello From The Hallowoods is written and produced by William A. Wellman, a queer horror author and writing coach. You can visit their website for more information!    The transcript for this episode is available on the Hello From The Hallowoods website. You can read it here!   You can also find Hello From The Hallowoods on social media! The show is on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at @thehallowoods. If you'd like to connect with other fans of the show, there's even a fan-run Discord Server! Music for this episode was used under license from Artlist.com. The soundtracks featured were:  ‘Forest Overture', by Yehezkel Raz,  ‘Eternity Clock', by Shahead Mostafafar,  ‘The Weight', by Kneelio,  ‘The Ghost', by Martin Puehringer,  ‘Zircon', by Ottom,  ‘Witness - Extended Version', by Olivier Michael,  ‘Taurus', by Spearfisher,  ‘Don't Mind the Rain', by the Oriole Orchestra (public domain),  ‘Dead Leaves', by Yehezkel Raz,  ‘Ganymede', by Yehezkel Raz,  ‘Will Her Eyes Shine in Green or Blue', by Ziv Grinberg, ‘Dreaming Lucifer', by Dan Ayalon,  ‘Exhale', by Salt of the Sound,  ‘Farewell', by Maya Belsitzman and Matan Ephrat  Content warnings for this episode include:  Abuse, Violence, Kidnapping and abduction, Death + Injury, Blood, Dementia, Sexism and misogyny, Transphobia, Homophobia, Misgendering, Static (including sfx), Emotional Manipulation, Body horror, Alcohol Use

We talk to Bradley Walker!

Main Street Bluegrass Podcast #2105 for the week of January 31st, 2021. This week we’re featuring music from IIIrd Tyme Out, Larry Cordle, Linda Lay, Bradley Walker, Blue Highway, The Ruhks, Red Allen, and more! [...]

This week, Andy hosts Jimmy Fortune—long-time tenor for The Statler Brothers, currently a songwriter and solo artist.   Tune in to hear Jimmy talk about auditioning for The Statler Brothers, the impact his mother’s prayers had on his life, the first song he wrote for the group (which won CMA Song of the Year), what it was like on The Statler Brothers Show on TNN, and much more!   Listen to Jimmy’s latest project with Bradley Walker, Mike Rogers, and Ben Isaacs at the link below, and be sure to connect with him on Facebook.   Facebook: Facebook.com/JimmyFortuneMusic/ Brotherly Love: https://amzn.to/3qeRgHw   If you have questions or comments for THE PROFESSIONAL NOTICER, please contact us at: Email: TheProfessionalNoticer@AndyAndrews.com Facebook.com/AndyAndrews YouTube.com/AndyAndrewsAuthor Twitter.com/AndyAndrews Instagram.com/AndyAndrewsAuthor

Individually Mike Rogers and Bradley Walker are some of the most respected singers and musicians in country and gospel music. Now they are recording together (along with fellow award-winning talents Jimmy Fortune and Ben Isaacs) in a new project called Brotherly Love. We hear all about the band, what brought them together, and how God is now creating musical harmonies through their long-time friendships. Episode Segments Community Corkboard Juno Submissions Artist Advice from Cliff Williams (7eventh Time Down) Episode Links: Gaither Music: @gaithermusic Between the Grooves: @betweengrooves Have a question, comment, or a music project you want to promote on Community Corkboard? Email betweenthegrooves@faithstrongtoday.com! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A weekly two hour all Gospel music broadcast with your host - D Hensley. Recorded live on www.sbbradio.org & 91.7 FM Community Radio. This program contains music from - Veronica Lopez, The Collingsworth Family, The Brotherly Love Project featuring Ben Isaacs, Jimmy Fortune, Bradley Walker & Mike Rogers, Chelsea Estes, The Sunday Gospel Sessions featuring Mike Rogers, Val Story and Larry Cordle and many more.

Here's Daniel Mullins, sitting down with one of today's top artists making REAL roots music. Ben Isaacs is a member of the award-winning gospel family, The Isaacs. He chats with Daniel about the family's new gospel album, before talking about his exciting new project with Jimmy Fortune, Bradley Walker, and Mike Rogers. Learn all about some great new music from Ben Isaacs!

Richard Listens: Leading with Passion The voice of the Sunshine state. From the sideline to the booth. Bradley Walker is a radio show host and podcast host for two shows a week and has covered Florida spots from multiple roles. Learn the tips for bringing your passion to the players and the secret to not worrying about what people think when you are expressing your truth! You can also find more Richard Listens content on Instagram (@RichardListens), Facebook (@Richard Listens), and RichardListens.com. Support the show (http://patreon.com/Richardlistens)Support the show (http://patreon.com/Richardlistens)

Neighbuzz recaps the Early episodes celebrating the five(ish) weddings at the Lassiters Expo for the 35th anniversary of Neighbours! With special guest, founder of the first Australian Neighbours Fan Club, Bradley Walker! CJ, Kate, Vaya  and Brad recap the week of March 16 on Neighbours (EARLY EPISODES), in the PirateNet Studios via remote connection for isolation purposes.Thanks to those who contributed voice memos for this ep: Mike, Meg, Guy, Andy, Kayla, Simon, Hayley, Matthew, Hamish, Jo, and Rob 'Millsy' Mills.Fiona Corke is dressed by KAMIZOLE.Find our whole back catalogue at neighbuzzpod.comJoin the Neighbuzz Council for chats on FacebookTweet us @neighbuzzpodTweet Kate, Tweet Vaya or Instagram CJ!To support the PirateNet Studios and unlock bonus content, become one of our beloved Patrons at patreon.com/neighbuzzpodThanks for listening!

The gang at Feathers and Foes discussed this one shot issue by guest writer Jim Alexander as well Jimmy Palmiotti on inks and Bradley Walker on pencils.  Huntress is trying to be the best Bird she can be, yet Oracle is not straight up with her concerning this mission.  Twists and Turns are throughout this issue.  Write to us at feathersandfoes@gmail.com  

1 Sam 30:1-6, Pr 21:1, Ps 100:21, 1 Sam 23:9-14, 1 Sam 27:1, Pr 3:5-6, Jer 17, Ps 1:1-2, Ps 119:9-11, Col 3:15-17, Phil 4:6-8, Eph 5:20, 2 Cor 9:8-15

1 Sam 30:1-6, Pr 21:1, Ps 100:21, 1 Sam 23:9-14, 1 Sam 27:1, Pr 3:5-6, Jer 17, Ps 1:1-2, Ps 119:9-11, Col 3:15-17, Phil 4:6-8, Eph 5:20, 2 Cor 9:8-15

1 Sam 30:1-6, Pr 21:1, Ps 100:21, 1 Sam 23:9-14, 1 Sam 27:1, Pr 3:5-6, Jer 17, Ps 1:1-2, Ps 119:9-11, Col 3:15-17, Phil 4:6-8, Eph 5:20, 2 Cor 9:8-15

1 Sam 30:1-6, Pr 21:1, Ps 100:21, 1 Sam 23:9-14, 1 Sam 27:1, Pr 3:5-6, Jer 17, Ps 1:1-2, Ps 119:9-11, Col 3:15-17, Phil 4:6-8, Eph 5:20, 2 Cor 9:8-15

1 Sam 30:1-6, Pr 21:1, Ps 100:21, 1 Sam 23:9-14, 1 Sam 27:1, Pr 3:5-6, Jer 17, Ps 1:1-2, Ps 119:9-11, Col 3:15-17, Phil 4:6-8, Eph 5:20, 2 Cor 9:8-15

A native of New Hampshire, award-winning songwriter Rick Lang has become well known in the global Bluegrass community and beyond. His songs have been covered by some of the most renowned artists in Bluegrass music, Southern Gospel and even the Jazz world, with over 80 song cuts to his credit. Rick has now released his album “Gonna Sing, Gonna Shout” on the Billy Blue Records Label. The stellar lineup of Bluegrass, Country, and Gospel stars lending their talents to deliver Lang's original songs includes Dave Adkins, High Road, Marty Raybon, The Whites, Claire Lynch, Bradley Walker, Cox Family, Kenny and Amanda Smith, Larry Cordle, and Jerry Salley. Rick talks about the journey it took to write and record this project. Beyond the Music ™ © 2019 Beyond the Music Produced by Bob Bender Show Host: Bob Bender Show Advisor: Tom Sabella Show website: www.businesssideofmusic.com Stream or Download (free): www.businesssideofmusic.com To submit to be interviewed: musicpodcast@mail.com Sponsorship / Affiliate information: www.businesssideofmusic.com/sponsor Join our mailing list for show announcements, career advice, industry discounts, free gifts and more! www.businesssideofmusic.com Special Thanks to Tom Sabella and Traci Snow for producing and hosting over 100 episodes of the original “Business Side of Music” podcast, and trusting us to carry on their legacy.  

This week Lois discusses P.S. I Love You with Bradley Walker. Talking points: Lois is Fully Sick, Worst Friends Ever, Family Funtimes. You can contact us at wereadthebook@gmail.com or on Twitter @readthebookpod, or on Facebook at the We Read The Book Discussion Group. Thanks to The Dada Weatherman for the use of our theme song “Human Light”!

This week Lois discusses P.S. I Love You with Bradley Walker. Talking points: Lois is Fully Sick, Worst Friends Ever, Family Funtimes. You can contact us at wereadthebook@gmail.com or on Twitter @readthebookpod, or on Facebook at the We Read The Book Discussion Group. Thanks to The Dada Weatherman for the use of our theme song “Human Light”!

It's Wednesday Night. It's 9pm. It must be time for Comeback Wrestling Show.  Jon will be joined by his friend Mitch for the whole show. In addition the guys will be joined by Ironiq Media's own Bradley Walker to talk Evolution at 9:30 pm.  Hour 1-  Thoughts on Evolution  Best Match and Worst Match of the Night  What should of been the main event of Evolution  Hour 2  Thoughts on the Ambrose/Rollins feud  Preview Crown Jewel  How long will Impact survive in the 10 pm time slot  News from the Jericho Cruise  NXT debut of Matt Riddle  Join Jon and Mitch from 9pm- 11pm. Call them up at 646-668-2372 or tweet them @jon_blayne 

This week Adam and Lois discuss Fever Pitch with Bradley Walker. Talking points: Air Bud Is Dead, Chad Freedom, Lois Hates Barge Hipsters. You can contact us at wereadthebook@gmail.com or on Twitter @readthebookpod, or on Facebook at the We Read The Book Discussion Group. Thanks to The Dada Weatherman for the use of our theme song “Human Light”!

This week Adam and Lois discuss Fever Pitch with Bradley Walker. Talking points: Air Bud Is Dead, Chad Freedom, Lois Hates Barge Hipsters. You can contact us at wereadthebook@gmail.com or on Twitter @readthebookpod, or on Facebook at the We Read The Book Discussion Group. Thanks to The Dada Weatherman for the use of our theme song “Human Light”!

This week Adam and Lois discuss Star Wars: A New Hope with Bradley Walker. Talking points: Pig In The City, Quiescent Piranha, Cultural Differences. You can contact us at wereadthebook@gmail.com or on Twitter @readthebookpod.  Thanks to The Dada Weatherman for the use of our theme song “Human Light”!

This week Adam and Lois discuss Star Wars: A New Hope with Bradley Walker. Talking points: Pig In The City, Quiescent Piranha, Cultural Differences. You can contact us at wereadthebook@gmail.com or on Twitter @readthebookpod.  Thanks to The Dada Weatherman for the use of our theme song “Human Light”!

Wild at Heart author John Eldredge is a counselor and teacher who  is devoted to helping people through their recovery process. He shares how he himself “cried out to God,” as a young man, looking for hope wherever he could find it. This lifelong search for hope came to a pinnacle when he realized how many people he knew also lacked hope in their lives. He wrote a book about his findings, observations and inspirations called “All Things New: Heaven, Earth and the Restoration of Everything You Love.” Our second segment features country music singer Bradley Walker, whose latest album, “Blessed,” reflects his attitude toward his life. Born with muscular dystrophy, Bradley’s story has not been without heartache, but he reflects how God can bring joy even in the midst of pain.

Bradley Walker - Bradley is a country music/bluegrass singer and GMA Dove Award Nominee.  He's releasing his first gospel CD on October 6, 2017 titled "Blessed: Hymns and Songs of Faith".  We talk to him about his passion for music and this CD he's wanted to do for so long.Eboni  Williams - Eboni is a FOX News personality and the author of a brand new book "Pretty Powerful".  We talk to her about how beauty can be perceived as a weakness or an asset depends on how you use them and why you should love who you are.

Bradley Walker - Bradley is a country music/bluegrass singer and GMA Dove Award Nominee.  He's releasing his first gospel CD on October 6, 2017 titled "Blessed: Hymns and Songs of Faith".  We talk to him about his passion for music and this CD he's wanted to do for so long.Eboni  Williams - Eboni is a FOX News personality and the author of a brand new book "Pretty Powerful".  We talk to her about how beauty can be perceived as a weakness or an asset depends on how you use them and why you should love who you are.

Bradley Walker est né en 1978 à Athens, une ville située entre Atlanta et Memphis (Alabama). États-Unis. Les parents de Bradley ont partagé l'amour de la musique et sa mère a travaillé dans un magasin de musique avant sa naissance. Bradley a commencé à chanter quand il n'avait que trois ans, il choisi comme styles musicaux, la country authentique, le bluegrass et le gospel. Atteint dés sa naissance d’une dystrophie musculaire, il est incapable de marcher, mais tout jeune, il refuse de permettre à cet handicap de l'empêcher de poursuivre ses rêves dans sa vie ou son art. Passionné de chant et de musique, il commence à chanter et à l’âge de sept ans il participe à des concours de jeunes talents. Il aime des artistes de country tels que George Jones, Mel Street et Vern Gosdin Page sur Bradley Walker : http://www.radiocountryfamily.info/crbst_45.html

J.C. Hulsey has lived in Midlothian, Texas over thirty years. He's a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. He has been married for 57 years. He enjoys Western movies and TV Shows, (especially the older ones) and reading about Mail-Order Brides. He is also the owner of six cats (all stray cats, showed up on the back porch) and one dog (rescue dog) He worked for 33 years at Bell Helicopter. He served in the USAF for five years, and the Air National Guard for four years. He started writing songs in his early twenties. He recorded a couple of songs in the late 1960s. He started writing poetry in the 1970s to share with others. He self-published them on Amazon in 2013. He still felt the need to write something different. He tried writing a book in the 1970s, but it was never finished. In 2014, he felt the urge to write a Western novel. However, he needed something different than what was on the market. What about a young Christian Gunfighter? That book turned into a series of seven books that won First Place for Best Westen Series in 2015 from Texas Association of Authors. His is also the founder and chairman of Outlaws Publishing LLC. Music by Bradley Walker, D.A. Cole & Paula Erlene Chad Prather's Thought For The Day Special Guests Actor/Impersonator & Author Ermal Walden Williamson & Singer/Songwriter Paula Erlene  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/wildwestshowdown

J.C. Hulsey has lived in Midlothian, Texas over thirty years. He's a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. He has been married for 57 years. He enjoys Western movies and TV Shows, (especially the older ones) and reading about Mail-Order Brides. He is also the owner of six cats (all stray cats, showed up on the back porch) and one dog (rescue dog) He worked for 33 years at Bell Helicopter. He served in the USAF for five years, and the Air National Guard for four years. He started writing songs in his early twenties. He recorded a couple of songs in the late 1960s. He started writing poetry in the 1970s to share with others. He self-published them on Amazon in 2013. He still felt the need to write something different. He tried writing a book in the 1970s, but it was never finished. In 2014, he felt the urge to write a Western novel. However, he needed something different than what was on the market. What about a young Christian Gunfighter? That book turned into a series of seven books that won First Place for Best Westen Series in 2015 from Texas Association of Authors. His is also the founder and chairman of Outlaws Publishing LLC. Music by Bradley Walker, Kraig Moss & Marilyn Jefferies  Chad Prather's Thought For The Day  Guest Author Gerald Hartenhoff

Bradley Walker, MWI Consultants

Bradley Walker joins us to watch the pie-lette of Pushing Daisies and teach us about magic.Find us on iTunes at: https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/teaves/id1018721317?mt=2Theme Music: ‘In THE Crowd’ by The YearsInterval Music: ‘Really Really Weird’ by The Simple CarnivalFeedback? Questions? Goofs? Email us at Teavescast@gmail.com, or find us on Twitter @Teavescast. 

A summary of January, the first month of the 114th Congress. In this episode, a favor for Wall Street is signed into law, the Senate did almost nothing, and the House passed bills that benefit Wall Street, fossil fuel companies, and companies that don't want to give you health insurance. There were a few good bills mixed in there too. Please Support Congressional Dish: Click here to contribute with PayPal or Bitcoin; click the PayPal "Make it Monthly" checkbox to create a monthly subscription Click here to support Congressional Dish for each episode via Patreon Mail Contributions to: 5753 Hwy 85 North #4576 Crestview, FL 32536 Thank you for supporting truly independent media! January Laws HR 26: Terrorism Risk Insurance Program ReAuthorization Act of 2015 The bill reauthorizes and changes the terms of the program that provides Federal insurance to businesses damaged in a terrorist attack. The program was dead for 12 days after expiring on December 31, 2014. Extends the program until December 31, 2020 Decreases the Federal share of compensation from 85% to 80% over the course of the next five years. There's a $100 billion cap on Federal losses. The program trigger, which is the point at which insurance companies get Federal money, gradually increases from $100 million now to $200 million. The Secretary of Treasury alone will certify the act of terrorism; the Secretary of State will no longer be involved. A rollback of the Dodd Frank financial reform bill was attached. The attachment prevents the SEC from telling swaps traders how much cash they need to put up front to make a swaps trade. The attachment is the text of the Business Risk Mitigation and Price Stabilization Act, which was written by Rep. Michael Grimm. He tried to get it passed in the 112th and 113th Congresses, before he resigned on the first day of the 114th Congress after pleading guilty to tax fraud. The Securities and Investment industry was his #2 contributor, giving him over $400,000. Rep. Jeb Hensarling, who fought to keep this provision in the bill, has taken at least $2.8 million from the financial industry. January Bills H.R. 22 and S. 12: Hire More Heroes Act Veterans with government health care will not count towards the 50 employee Affordable Care Act threshold which triggers a company's obligation to give employees health insurance. The bill is sponsored by Rep. Rodney Davis in the House, who has taken over $180,000 from health professionals and over $160,000 from the insurance industry. The bill is sponsored by Senator Roy Blunt of Missouri, who has taken almost $1.3 million from health professionals and almost a million from the insurance industry. H.R. 23: National Windstorm Impact Reduction Act Reauthorization of 2015 Reauthorizes and updates the National Windstorm Impact Reduction Program The program designed to improve weather modeling, coordinate post-storm investigations, improve understanding of wind's impact on buildings and vital infrastructure, and promote adoption of storm preparation measures. Appropriates about $21 million per year for the next three years Written by Rep. Randy Neugebauer of Texas H.R. 34: Tsunami Warning, Education, and Research Act of 2015 Consolidates tsunami warning systems for the Pacific and Arctic Oceans and for the Atlantic Ocean into a single warning system, which will cooperate with other countries' warning systems. Appropriates $27 million per year through 2017 to get this done. Passed unanimously. Written by Rep. Suzanne Bonamici of Oregon H.R. 203: Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for American Veterans Act Requires annual independent evaluations of Veteran's Administration mental health programs Requires the Veteran's Administration to create a website for information about their mental health services that needs to be updated at least every 90 days. Creates a three year pilot program to repay psychiatrists' loans ($30,000 a year) if they work for at least two years at the Veteran's Health Administration. Prohibits any additional money to get this done. Written by Democrat Rep. Timothy Walz of Minnesota H.R. 351: LNG Permitting Certainty and Transparency Act Forces the Department of Energy to decide on applications to construct, expand, or operate liquified natural gas export facilities within 30 days of the completed NEPA review. Requires the applicant to publicly disclose the specific destination of the liquified natural gas exports. Written by Rep. Bill Johnson of Ohio, whose top three contributing industries are #1 Leadership PACs, who have given him over $387,000, #2 Mining, who has given him over $250,000, and #3 Oil and Gas, who has given him over $244,000. H.R. 3: and S. 1 Keystone XL Pipeline Act Explicitly approves the Keystone XL pipeline. Forces any lawsuits against the pipeline to be filed in Washington D.C. or in the Supreme Court Written by Rep. Kevin Cramer of North Dakota, whose #1 contributing industry is Oil & Gas, who have given him over $322,000. The House version would be vetoed by the President H.R. 30: Save American Workers Act of 2015 Makes people work for 40+ hours to be eligible for employer provided health insurance. Effective as of January 1, 2014 The effects of this on the budget will not be counted Written by Rep. Todd Young of Indiana Passed 252-172 Would be vetoed by the President H.R. 185: Regulatory Accountability Act of 2015 Adds extra work to creating regulations Makes it easier for the courts to shut down regulations Written by Bob Goodlatte of Virginia, who has accepted over $10 million from various industries Passed the House 250-175 Would be vetoed by the President H.R. 37: Promoting Job Creation and Reducing Small Business Burdens Act A package of 11 Wall Street deregulation bills from the 113th Congress (the GOP House leadership tried to get this passed as an uncontroversial suspension bill on the second day of the 114th Congress). Includes the Business Risk Mitigation and Price Stabilization Act, which is the bill that has already been signed into law as an attachment to the Terrorism Risk Insurance Program reauthorization. Would delay the Volcker rule until 2019 (the Federal Reserve already delayed it until 2017), which prohibits commercial banks from trading collateralized loan obligations. Would allow companies to exclude historical data from their financial reports at their discretion. Companies with under $250 million in revenue wouldn't have to submit their financial statements in computer readable form (this would include roughly 60% of publicly traded stocks). Exempts some private equity firms from having to register as brokers with the SEC, which will exempt them from more frequent examinations. The bill was sponsored by Rep. Michael Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania, who is retiring from Congress at the end of this term. His #1 contributing industry is leadership PACs but his #4 is the finance industry. He's taken almost $500,000 Would be vetoed by the President YouTube: GOP Financial Services video about HR 37, starring Michael Fitzpatrick H.R. 161: Natural Gas Pipeline Permitting Reform Act This bill was discussed during the 113th Congress in episode CD055: Three Bills for Fossil Fuels Permits for natural gas pipelines must be decided in under 1 year If the agency does not decide within 90 days of the completed environmental review, the permit will be automatically approved on the 120th day Written by Rep. Mike Pompeo of Kansas (who is the Koch brothers' Congressman) who has taken almost $300,000 from Koch Industries alone. In total, he has taken $928,000 from the Oil and Gas industry. Would be vetoed by the President H.R. 7: No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion and Abortion Insurance Full Disclosure Act of 2015 Would prohibit Federal funding for any abortion (Currently, federal funds cannot be used for abortion services, except in cases involving rape, incest, or life endangermen). Prohibits small businesses from claiming their health insurance tax credit if the plan they offer includes abortion Written by Rep. Chris Smith of New Jersey Would be vetoed by the President H.R. 240: Department of Homeland Security Appropriations Act, 2015 Already dead. H.R. 514: Human Trafficking Prioritization Act Sense of Congress that the State Department can combat trafficking just fine without more money and orders a report. Written by Rep. Chris Smith of New Jersey H.R. 515: International Megan’s Law to Prevent Demand for Child Sex Trafficking Creates a new Angel Watch Center in the Department of Homeland Security which will track and store travel information about sex-offenders and notify other countries of the sex-offender's travel plans. Written by Rep. Chris Smith of New Jersey H.R. 357: Human Trafficking Prevention Act Expands required information in training programs for Federal employees dealing with human trafficking. Written by Rep. Sean Maloney of New York H.R. 468: Enhancing Services for Runaway and Homeless Victims of Youth Trafficking Act of 2015 Adds "severe forms of trafficking in person" to the list of things that grant money for runaway and homeless kids can be used for Written by Rep. Joe Heck of Nevada H.R. 350: Human Trafficking Prevention, Intervention, and Recovery Act of 2015 Orders a few reports Written by Kristi Noem of South Dakota H.R. 159: Stop Exploitation Through Trafficking Act of 2015 Prioritizes how grants to local police forces are given based on the State's laws' treatment of victims of sex trafficking Makes sex trafficking victims eligible for the Jobs Corps even if they aren't low income Written by Rep. Erik Paulsen of Minnesota H.R. 285: SAVE Act of 2015 Makes advertising the services of prostitutes who are under 18 or are forced into prostitution punishable by ten years in prison. Written by by Rep. Ann Wagner of Missouri H.R. 181: Justice for Victims of Trafficking Act of 2015 Prioritizes how grants to local police forces are given based on the State's laws' treatment of victims of sex trafficking Adds the production of child pornography to the definition of "child abuse' Allows the FBI to wire tap suspected child abusers Eliminates the prosecutorial requirement that that the government prove that the defendant recklessly disregarded the victims age puts the burden of proof on the defendant Written by Rep. Ted Poe of Texas H.R. 460: Human Trafficking Detection Act of 2015 Trains TSA, Customs, and Border Patrol agents on how to detect and disrupt human trafficking within one year Written by Rep. Bradley Walker of North Carolina H.R. 398 and S. 205: Trafficking Awareness Training for Health Care Act of 2015 Gives a grant to one hospital to develop best practices for recognizing and treating human trafficking victims Written by Rep. Renee Ellmers of North Carolina in the House and Rep. Bill Cassidy of Louisiana in the Senate. H.R. 469: Strengthening Child Welfare Response to Trafficking Act of 2015 Prioritizes how grants to local police forces are given based on the State's laws' treatment of victims of sex trafficking Written by Rep. Karen Bass of California H.R. 246: To improve the response to victims of child sex trafficking. Adds child sex trafficking to the list of things that should be reported on the "cyber tipline" Written by Rep. Joyce Beatty of Ohio Additional Information Article: Obama Moves to Block Horse Slaughter by Stephanie Strom. New York Times. April 2013. Article: Fox News to earn $1.50 per subscriber by Brian Stelter. CNN Money. January 2015. Music Presented in This Episode Intro & Exit: Tired of Being Lied To by David Ippolito (found on Music Alley by mevio) CEO by Kito Peters (found on Music Alley by mevio) Warden Pale's Big Profit Prison by William Brooks Be Heard Have something to say? Leave a message on the Congressional Dish voicemail line and it might be featured on the show! Call (339) 707-0307 Help Congressional Dish Rate Congressional Dish with 5 stars on iTunes and leave a rave review. Download and share the FREE Congressional Dish app for iPhones & iPads and all Android devices. Submit your favorite episodes to Reddit. Musicians: Share your music with Congressional Dish (and the world) - email the mp3 to Jen at Congressioanldish dot com. Share your favorite episodes with other podcasters, share with your Facebook friends, share with your Tweeps, share, share, share!