Podcasts about StairMaster

What would we rather find living in your attic? 1000 cockroaches? Or a person? What is one concert we really want to go to? Did Roz ever feel that after his dad's passed, that he had to honour him in his own way? Do any of us use the StairMaster at the gym? Will Maurie smell Roz's hair?!

I kicked things off with my “New Year, new me” update, where I proudly announced that I've stopped biting my nails and, believe it or not, even managed to cut back on my daytime smoking. Yes, it's a small victory, but when you're trying to be wedding-ready, every little bit counts.My gym escapades at Planet Fitness provided plenty of comic relief. Picture this: me, barely a minute in, setting off the infamous lunk alarm, and having to explain to a very confused staff member that it's just my natural charm wreaking havoc on the quiet gym ambiance. Over time, I learned that five minutes on the StairMaster is the unofficial test of being a “bad bitch.” Trust me, if you can handle those stairs, you've already earned a spot in my inner circle.But the absurdity doesn't stop there. I laid out my wild plan to have Joe Exotic, yes, the Tiger King himself, officiate my wedding. I even joked about needing a presidential pardon—courtesy of Donald Trump—to get Joe out of prison in time. It's a ridiculous notion, but then again, so is my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way.Nostalgia hit hard in this episode, as I reminisced about my childhood filled with Nickelodeon gems like “Hey Arnold” and “Angry Beavers,” alongside the life lessons of “Boy Meets World.” It's funny how those shows, once the center of my universe, now serve as bittersweet reminders of a simpler time, even as I navigate the complexities of adult life and reunions that are more awkward than heartwarming.Of course, no episode would be complete without a jab at modern technology and social media. I ranted about the ongoing drama on Facebook—yes, that relic—and urged everyone to ditch it for something more authentic. Meanwhile, I defended my love for Tesla's cutting-edge tech, not because I'm a fan of Elon Musk, but because I truly appreciate innovation when I see it.And then there was Pokémon Day. While the hype for downloadable collections and new game announcements fizzled out (once again), I managed to snag a holographic Articuno in a Twitter giveaway—another reminder that in this digital age, even our hobbies come with a side of irony.In a nutshell, episode 179 is a snapshot of my life: part self-improvement saga, part pop culture rant, and entirely unapologetic about the absurdity that is my world. What are we doing? Apparently, we're laughing in the face of chaos—and that's just how I like it.*************************************************************✅BLUECHEW - FIRST ORDER FREE Only $5 Shippinghttps://wawdpod.com/blue*************************************************************

Hey friends! On Wellness Wednesday on The Debbie Nigro Show, as always, we covered a LOT—from climbing steps like an Italian grandma climbs hills in the mountains to the latest in fancy sneakers, and even Coca-Cola's new "healthy" soda (who knew?!). Buckle up, because here's your full recap of this week's  shenanigans, wisdom, and wellness tips. Step It Up—Like an Italian Grandmother! I kicked off the show kinda moaning (I hate moaners) about my aching leg muscles. Was feeling every single step in my legs after just visiting my daughter's house (which, by the way, is basically a Stairmaster disguised as a home). But then I thought—wait! The Italian women of the Blue Zones live to be 100+ because they're always climbing hills to pick fresh food. And they don't moan. Maybe these aching legs are a good thing? Moral of the story: Keep moving, folks! Even if it feels like torture now, your future self will thank you Garlic: The Secret to Longevity? Speaking of healthy living, did you know some of the longest-living people in the world eat raw garlic—like, a LOT of it? I, on the other hand, prefer my garlic caramelized in olive oil, courtesy of my chef boy toy (life partner) Dave. If you want a great hack for having garlic oil ready to go at all times, I shared an easy one—just slow-low-cook a whole bunch of garlic cloves in olive oil for like an hour and keep it in your fridge. You're welcome. Ice Lawns, Black Ice & The Amazon Package Slide Winter has been extra icy this year, hasn't it? Kids are stuck inside instead of playing out in the snow because of ice lawns! (seriously, lawns are covered in a sheet of ice). The Amazon delivery guys are launching packages across driveways like Olympic curlers, and black ice is lurking at every gas station. Like the one I stopped at on the way to the show. I'd have totally wiped out if I didn't notice the black ice when I opened my car door at the pump about to step out. Drove to another to another pump. Told the gas station guy I just saved him a lawsuit. Small wins, people! The Sneaker Business Just Got a Kardashian Twist Sneaker lovers, listen up! Nike just partnered with Kim Kardashian to create Nike Skims, and I gotta admit—I didn't see that one coming. Nike has always focused on sports, but now they're blending “innovation and science” with “shapewear for the female foot.” If it makes sneakers comfier and more stylish, I'm in. By the way, the 'very' expensive sneaker market is starting to decline—though many pairs are still going for between $400 and $800+. I know this because an 18-year-old neighbor showed me her very expensive pair.  Coca-Cola's New Health Kick: Prebiotic Soda Coke is jumping on the health train with Simply Pop, their new prebiotic soda. Apparently, they're trying to compete with brands like Poppy and Ollipop, which have been taking over the fizzy drink game. Less sugar, more gut health—sounds great, but let's see if it actually tastes good. Anyone else tried these yet? Collagen in My Coffee? Yep, It's Happening. I finally gave in to the collagen craze! After a friend raved about how it helped her joints, skin, and even bones, I decided to do a story on her. I had spotted her in an ad online for Native Path Collagen and she posted the story of my story about her online and the grateful company sent me some to try. Love it!  Now dumping a scoop of collagen into my coffee is a part of my morning coffee routine. Will it make me look younger? Not sure but it's worth a shot! LOL Meet the "Go-Go Grannies"—The Most Heartwarming Story Ever This one gave me ALL the feels. There's a program called Meet the Grannies where grandmothers in places like South Africa, Colombia, and Ghana are paired with orphaned babies to give them love and human connection. Can you imagine how much that means to a baby who has no one? These amazing women are literally changing lives, and I had to give them a shoutout. Skidjoring—The Winter Sport You Didn't Know You Needed Ever heard of skidjoring? Me neither. But it turns out, it's a Scandinavian winter sport where you strap yourself to your dog and let them pull you on skis. Sounds equal parts fun and terrifying. If you're a dog owner and need a new winter activity, maybe give it a try? Just don't forget the harness!  ( and honestly I'd just check your medical insurance policy to see if you're covered for a Skidjoring injurie. lol ) Glimmers: The Opposite of Triggers We all know about triggers—those little things that set us off. But what about glimmers? They're tiny moments of joy, warmth, or calm that can instantly shift your mood. Like taking a quiet bath, catching a beautiful sunset, or laughing with someone you love. Turns out, focusing on these small moments rewire your brain for happiness. So let's all start collecting glimmers, shall we. Final Thought: Give Away a Smile! I wrapped up the show with a little wisdom from Dolly Parton: "If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours." Because let's be honest—this world needs more smiles. That's a wrap on Wellness Wednesday! Enjoy the podcast of this full live radio show. Until next time—let's all try to keep the live in alive! Oh …Don't forget to tune in live weekdays from 11 to 12 noon EST on WGCH or on WGCH.com from anywhere in the world. And follow me on social media for more fun, info, and glimmers. Instagram @therealdebbienigro Facebook: TheDebbieNigroShow

41. De struggle van de Stairmaster, mijn obsessie met de cottage cheese pizzabodem (en stappenplan om hem zelf te maken), 45k proberen te verdienen met memecoins en mijn nieuwe passie voor het verzamelen van blikjes met statiegeld tijdens mijn dagelijkse 10.000 stappen wandeling.

animal based diet? AI macros? cycle syncing? with so many viral fitness trends constantly popping up, which ones are actually worth it? find out in today's episode! p.s. for next weeks episode, email us your gym confessions! hot takes, embarassing stories, funny stories, spilling the tea etc anything goes!email us your gym confessions!

“Humans want to move, and life gets in the way.” Those are the words of Laura, Kiera's personal trainer, who's the guest for this episode. Together, Kiera and Laura discuss overcoming the often quite sedentary life of dentistry professionals by bringing on a source of accountability. Episode resources: Subscribe to The Dental A-Team podcast Join Dental A-Team Consulting Leave us a review Transcript: Kiera Dent (00:00.9) Hello, Dental A Team listeners, this is Kiera. And today I am so freaking pumped to introduce you to one of my dearest friends, someone who has transformed my life and that I just cannot wait to introduce to this audience. Welcome to the show, Laura, my personal trainer, macro guru, the one who knows all the things, who's helped me through so many personal injuries and actually has been able to like make a busy life, work with working out. Laura, welcome to the show today.   Laura (00:04.089) And so, we're going to end it here.   Laura (00:27.021) Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.   Kiera Dent (00:29.614) I'm so happy you're here because I think that you have changed my life and you and I were chatting at the gym the other day and we actually talked about, well, I work with dentists, dentists are very busy, entrepreneurs are very busy, office managers are very busy and yet figuring out how to fit in this working out, eating healthy, taking care of ourselves. And you made a comment, you said, Kiera, they invest in their businesses, but their businesses require them to be their highest self like.   Let's do a podcast and talk about that. So I'm super jazzed to have you here today. Talk about all things. And as a fun side note, I did look up some data and believe it or not, if you work out, you make more money. So let's just add a little plug there too. But Laura, like let's kind of tell our listeners a little bit about you. How did you get into working out? How did you get into being this macro fitness guru that you've become that's changed the lives of so many? Kind of just walk us on your journey today.   Laura (01:00.461) Yes.   Laura (01:09.049) There we go.   Laura (01:21.921) Yeah, I would love to. My journey started in college. I, like many other women, grew up insecure, like judging myself, comparing myself to other women. And I just came to a point in college, I remember the moment where I just realized   I don't want to live my life this way anymore. I want to feel confident. I want to feel strong. I felt disconnected to my younger self in a way. I grew up not necessarily in high school, more like actual elementary school. In my childhood years, I was very active. I did sports, I did gymnastics. And then you get into high school. I didn't do anything in high school. And then comes college and I just felt very disconnected to myself.   And I wanted to get back to that playful, confident, able person, able to do the things I wanted to do. And so I started going to the gym, had no idea what I was doing. I would just climb the StairMaster the whole time. And slowly, the gym I was working out at was kind of the StairMasters where   upstairs and you could look down into the rest of the gym. And I would just see at that time, this was like a decade ago or more, there were no women in the gym and all the girls were upstairs on the ellipticals and the stair masters and then all the dudes were downstairs. And I don't know, I just, started to see what they were doing and copied a little bit, you know, did a couple of the machines that I knew how to do, started to get hooked.   and was like, you know what, what if I made this a career? And I got certified in 2014 and the rest is history. mean, there's actually a lot more to it, but that's basically how it started. And fast forward to now, I feel extremely connected to my younger self through my movement. I have created a beautiful life that I'm able to do what I love and...   Kiera Dent (03:13.978) you   Laura (03:29.613) And yeah, help other women connect to their own bodies and their younger selves as well.   Kiera Dent (03:33.914) I love it. And I love that you went through this journey because I think so many of us, well, I'll speak for myself. I'm not gonna speak for all the listeners. I feel like an idiot at the gym. They have reels about people at the gym of like idiots using like equipment so many times and we're at the gym. Laura was originally virtual. We started out virtual and I actually wanna get into like virtual versus in-person training and if there's a difference because when people are busy, there's solutions that way.   Laura (03:43.629) Thank   Kiera Dent (04:01.028) but I felt like such an idiot. And I think something that you've done for me, and that's why I wanted to bring you on here is because I feel like I was the worst workout person in the world. Like honestly, I feel like Laura should have fired me as a client. So we had a really rough start and I think it was honestly fear of my, like where I was at, fear of not knowing what I'm doing. Also, I do run a busy life. Laura, you told me I'm the second busiest person that you know, second to a lawyer. So I felt like that was like, all right, my life is a little bit more exciting.   but I also had a lot of injuries. And so that was why I hired a personal trainer is because I was actually losing so much muscle mass that I was starting to get more injuries because the current injuries were causing me not to do anything, which then was leading to more problems. And so was thinking about how many dentists and how many team members do we sit there all day long? We're very sedentary. I remember as an assistant and doctors, you're like, I don't sit, I don't even have time to pee, which I get, hear you.   but we're sitting there and yes, you're ergonomically correct, but it's like we work all day long. Where do we actually put in time for this body that's serving us? That's creating like the experience for our patients. Like where do we do that? And so even in the time Laura and I have worked together, I changed it from working out to honoring my body. And so Laura, I really wanted to dig into this of like, you've worked with a lot of people, you're a personal trainer, you're freaking genius at it. I love that you have modified so many workouts for me to be able to lift, to get strong.   Like just yesterday we were working out and we saw back muscles on me and like, that's something I haven't had for seven years. And so I'm excited because coming from a space where I couldn't lift, couldn't squat. couldn't lunge. Like literally none of those things were in my life. I have a very strong issue with food. I grew up anorexic most of my life and Laura, I know that you've been on a journey with that as well. And I think just all these different factors. I'm busy. People are busy. You were able to find like this, like.   little crack of sunshine in my life and then expand it more to where in my week I look out like look forward to working out. We've like reworked my schedule to make that a priority. And so I'm just curious, you work with a ton of people you worked with me. Let's bring this to the table. How do people when they're so busy, when they're so exhausted, when they've got the kids, they've got the job, they've got all the people like how do you even start working out? How does this even become a reality for people?   Kiera Dent (06:22.136) What do you tell people when they're in that spot? Because I think every person listening to this podcast is probably there.   Laura (06:27.225) Yeah, I think we all have some desire inside of us to move. Humans want to move and life gets in the way. And I think the determining factor of are you going to do this or not is are you willing to think deeply enough about why it's important in your life? Like what happens if you don't do this? Take yourself five, 10 years, 15, 20 years down the road.   What does life look like once you've retired and you have all this money to spend and all this adventure to have, but your body is not working properly and you can't truly experience life in the way that you want because your body is failing you. Like take yourself there, take yourself to that hard, reality that if you don't figure this out, you're going to have this experience of life. Or what if you do look at your life one year from now, if you decide to just commit 30 minutes a week.   Even if it's 10 minutes at a time, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 10 minutes, first thing in the morning, I wake up and I get on my Peloton or I do three sets of 20 squats. Like just start so small. What does life look like in a year? If you start that now and you don't stop in 10 years and 20 years, the trajectory of your life will be so different. And I think it's, that is the, like I said, determining factor, whether or not someone commits to this for the long haul.   You have to be very realistic about your about your situation and what you want out of life, know We're so serious about building businesses and making money and being successful But what happens once you get there and you don't have the vessel to carry you through that's that's very that's scary to me So that's that's where I take people   Kiera Dent (07:57.722) Hmm.   Kiera Dent (08:09.496) I agree. I completely agree. And I love that you did this because like at Tony Robbins, he calls it the like Ebenezer Scrooge experience where you like, he literally makes you walk down. It's like terrifying. You hear all these like thousands of people screaming like how awful it'd be. But I don't think we actually like make this as much of a reality. I don't think we see it. And for me, I thought, okay, I really do have a vision of myself. Tiff will tell you, gosh, it's awesome. Tiff and I have committed that we're gonna be like.   98 year old grannies. I'm gonna have cotton candy pink hair. She's gonna have cotton candy blue hair We're gonna be driving jazzy's with NOS like not because we have to but just because we want to we'll have our own drones like I got this whole vision, but I thought about it and I thought If I don't have a body to get me between let's say 35 when I started thinking about it to 95 like that's a huge span of time. We're talking 60 years   Laura (08:41.12) huh.   my gosh.   Laura (08:47.705) haha   Kiera Dent (09:02.104) I can't just hope and pray that my body is going to last. Like this is an engine and I remember thinking, I love cars. I really love cars. And I thought like, Kiera, if you had a Ferrari sitting in the garage, how would you take care of this? And I'm like, I'd put the highest level of gas. I would wash it. I would like keep it protected. I would drive it so kind. And I remember I was on a podcast with another person and they said, you literally, your body is a billion. That's with a B as in body, a billion dollar asset. Do you treat it that way?   Laura (09:31.833) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (09:31.95) And I thought, well, if I'm willing to give that love and care to a Ferrari, what if I thought about my own body as a Ferrari and how would I treat it? And it's crazy because for me that worked. And I started thinking like, I would eat better. Like I truly would take care of it. I would work out. I would prioritize it. And just like you said, starting with where we are, I think like any amount of movement is going to help. So even reading the book, Atomic Habits by James Clear, he talks about like habit stacking.   and just starting and like other books, essentialism, they talk about if it's too hard, we don't start. And so it's that startup effort. So I love Laura where you're like, okay, you get out of bed and you do one squat. Fantastic. Like you could start there and that's not as hard, but I think we go from like zero to 700. And I think that's the gap. so like, let's dive into, all right, I'm committed. I've decided I see the Ebenezer Scrooge. I see where I'm gonna be. I've got 60 years that I need to keep this.   Laura (10:06.935) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (10:25.174) amazing body that I've been blessed with going. I also think about, here's another thought that's helped me too, of this body is not Kiera. This body is something that Kiera was given to take care of, just like a business, just like a team. And I've thought about my body and I'm like, when I separated the thought of like, I am this body and I started to see this body allows me to have life.   Laura (10:37.933) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (10:49.71) This body allows me to podcast. This body allows me to work. This body allows me to work with clients. This body allows me to do all the fun things, to travel. And if I don't take care of her, A, like who am I with this body doing so much for me? And B, how can I take care of her even more? So it kind of became this fun game of like, this isn't for me. I'm good at serving a team. Why not serve my body as well when I realize that's not me? So if that helps you as well. So, okay, we're here, we're committed. Laura, it's like kicking off the new year. We're going to work out.   Do they need a trainer? What's the purpose of having a trainer? Like, can I do this on my own? Do I need a trainer? Is virtual or in person better? What are your thoughts around that? Because obviously I went for a trainer because I'm really terrible at accountability and also I had injuries and I didn't want to hurt myself. But like, how do you coach people through this?   Laura (11:36.385) Yeah. I think, you know, and this is speaking from personal experience too. I also need the accountability. I love having a coach. I think having someone on your team, like linking arms, let's do this here are our goals is such a useful tool. And you're not, if you don't show up, you're not only not showing up for you, your body, but you're also not showing up for this person that's linked arms with you and put in effort and,   like actual love. Like I will just say, I truly love working with my clients. I, and I don't speak for all trainers, but I do know so many trainers that feel the exact same way. Like you really, it's, I don't know how to say this. I'm like about to say emotional attachment, but you really do become so attached to your clients and so committed to their goals that when they stop showing up or something happens and they get sidetracked, it's, it's   Kiera Dent (12:19.906) Yeah.   Laura (12:31.189) It affects you as a trainer too. So what I'm trying to say is if you feel like you need that accountability, 100 % get a trainer, find a trainer that you connect with. Don't just go to a random, I mean, you can do this, but it's not my recommendation going to like a chain gym. I won't name any names of gyms, but just a chain gym where there's trainers there, they're paying their trainers minimum wage. These people probably have very little experience and are not looking to create that relationship with you.   Kiera Dent (12:49.326) Bye.   Laura (13:00.089) I think it's important to find someone that you really connect with that feels like an ally and listens to you, sees you. That is very important. As far as online versus in person, it's completely what the plan that's going to work is the one you can stick with. So if you can get to a gym and you can see someone in person, you found someone in person that you connect with, great, go that route. But a lot of busy business people cannot do that. I have a lot of...   entrepreneurs and moms that can't get to the gym. So they do 30 minute at home workouts and they follow a workout on an app and that works beautifully for them. If I were to tell them you have to come in person, they would not be able to make it happen. So it's very different from person to person. You just need to check in with yourself and figure out what would work best for you. Try it, see if it works. If it doesn't make a change.   and so on, but there's either way in person or online. There's, you know, we have technology on our side nowadays. There's so many beautiful ways to get quality coaching through virtual. So I think a lot of people have this like stigma against online coaching because they're like, I want to make sure I'm doing everything right. I don't think I'll show up for myself, but truly looking at my own program and you might agree or disagree, but a lot of   the clients that I have online are held even more accountable than the people that I have in person because it's just a more robust program. So it's very different than a lot of people expect.   Kiera Dent (14:37.474) I agree. And I did not expect virtual to be as good. I had done virtual in the past and I had someone who told me this trainer, she told me, said, Kiera, I'm actually not your coach. I'm just a programmer for you. And I remember that like cut me deep because I thought like, no, you did link arms with me. Like I want you to be as invested in this as I am. And meeting you, Laura, I...   purposely chose you because you're here in Reno and I was like, no, I want to go in person. And I actually think something very lovely about virtual and I will speak, your virtual was much different than other people's virtual. Like Laura is, doesn't mess around. It was an hour every single week where we would actually meet. We went over every single one of my workouts that I had completed. We did videos. And what I actually loved about that was being able to watch myself.   Laura (14:59.417) and   Kiera Dent (15:20.236) And with you, I started to pick out like when my moves weren't great. And something I loved about starting virtual and then going in person was I feel like I, I mean, you will say it so nice. You say like, let's pretty up that movement. Like let's make this prettier to where we're doing the move. And by prettying it up, it's not like I'm trying to look pretty. It's we're making perfect moves so we don't hurt ourselves. We're working the muscles better. And it's crazy because I think I was so.   like hypersensitive, I was hard to catch it in the mirror. I was hard to catch things. I'm like, Laura's not gonna like that. Like move my shoulder, get myself more of a statue because you forced me to watch my videos because that's all we had to do together. And so that was something I really liked about virtual. In person, I think I lift harder and I push myself harder because you're sitting there right next to me and I'm like, I wanna quit. And you're like, let's go, let's go, let's go. So that is, but it is interesting because we don't record me when I'm at the gym. I love when we do record because then I can see the little movements.   Laura (16:07.704) Yes.   Kiera Dent (16:15.172) But at home, I'm forced to watch myself more than I am at the gym. So I think those are two pros and cons. But Laura, I'm curious. There's so many trainers out there, just like there's consultants out there. Like how on earth do I sift through the noise and pick like someone who actually knows what the heck they're doing? Cause I did research on you to make sure you were actually a good trainer. I was ready to invest in myself, but like what questions do we even ask for? Like, are you a good trainer? Do you know what you're doing? Do you not know what you're doing? How do I like sort through that noise?   Laura (16:34.391) Yeah.   Laura (16:41.689) Mm-hmm.   Yeah, I think that experience is important. I think some people are have a natural skill to be able to connect with people and see how a body moves and know what changes need to be made to make it move properly. But it is like, you know, it takes a long time to master how to communicate with people. I do think I had not to toot my own horn or anything, but I feel like I   Kiera Dent (17:10.786) You should, I brought you on the podcast. Cause I think you're a freaking expert at this and I think you do really well. And I worked with other people and that's why I brought you to like to drone horn because I sifted you out of a lot of people and I picked you intentionally because I knew you had eating disorders that you had dealt with. And I know food's a big portion, which we're going to talk about food next. I also checked with a bunch of people that I trusted to see, like, does Laura actually know her stuff or is she just another like nonsense trainer out there?   Laura (17:18.389) Yeah.   Kiera Dent (17:36.046) Like, and not nonsense trainer. I get that everybody's trying their best, but I needed somebody who was more experienced, who knew with having injuries. wasn't like, I got hurt really bad with my other trainer to where I couldn't walk for almost a month because like I told her I had a knee problem. She didn't make sure that I did it correctly. And lo and behold, I then like basically blew out my knee for an entire month. So like, how do we not get those issues and those injuries?   Laura (17:41.529) Mm-hmm.   Laura (17:55.289) Yeah, think I I mean, know what you need. First of all, go into your consultation. Hopefully you're doing consultation with these people if they don't require it, ask for it. Ask for a meeting first before you commit to anything and ask them about their experience. Tell them your situation and what you're looking for exactly. And if someone see you know, I feel like we're all pretty   Kiera Dent (18:08.043) Hahaha   Laura (18:22.081) I feel like we can read people, know, as humans, can read people. can tell typically if someone is like bullshitting you or telling you straight up. I will be the first person to say, I do not know everything, but I am willing to put in the work, do the research to try and figure out some solutions for you. And if I can't, I will refer you out. I have no problem referring you out. So I think, I think experience and honesty are like my two things to look for.   Kiera Dent (18:28.953) Mm-hmm.   Laura (18:49.791) in a trainer when you're doing your consultations. And then connection. know what I mean? Can you see yourself being able to build a relationship with this person, but also see them as coach, not a best friend, as coach, and respect them? I'm trying to think, how can you determine if this person, from a beginner's mindset, looking at, say Instagram, because let's just be honest, that's where we find a lot of our people,   Kiera Dent (18:54.926) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (19:17.476) grade.   Laura (19:18.841) looking at how someone moves, think, don't know, Kiera, tell me if you're like on Instagram and you're seeing a random trainer girl and you see her doing some moves from a beginner's mindset, can you tell if she's doing, you know, she's connected or do you have no idea? I don't know. I'm not in a beginner's mind. You know what I mean? So I'm trying to figure out how to, to offer that advice, like find someone who knows how to move their body.   Kiera Dent (19:37.761) Yeah.   Kiera Dent (19:42.042) I don't think my eye was definitely clued into it. I think things I looked for was, that person look the way I wanna look? Because I feel like if so, I...   Laura (19:46.402) Yeah.   Laura (19:50.617) I play walking the walk.   Kiera Dent (19:53.562) Yeah, I mean, I want to look like them. So that was one thing. It's funny, Laura and I thought we were the same height when we were virtual training. And then in person, Laura's like a foot shorter than me. So that's always entertaining when I'm like, girl, that needs to go up a little higher. Like that bench is going to like cut my legs in half, like it needs to go up. So that was kind of a funny random, but I look for that now after working with you. I definitely can spot. And at first I was judgy about it and you did a good job of helping me see like   Laura  (19:59.53) you   Laura  (20:05.721) No.   Kiera Dent (20:21.956) We're not judgy, we're just like wanting to make sure people take care of their bodies. so like looking for, I think a good trainer, watching the movements, you like get on me all the time of like, Kiera, don't go through the movement quickly, like go through it slowly. I want you super connected. Like if we're doing my lats, you you showed me a picture and you're like, I want you to visualize those lats. I want them like sucking down. I want you pulling, like right now I'm doing it. I feel those lats engaged back there.   Laura (20:25.273) Thank   Kiera Dent (20:49.422) But I think something I really loved was even, even having a trainer watch like maybe a squat or something and asking them like what they see for feedback. Laura, you're not afraid to give me feedback. You're not afraid to say like, Hey, like right there, need to like, like yesterday, you're like, get that hip up. And I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking about. My hips feel very up. And then it was like just a quick tilt of the hip and instantly the movement felt a lot stronger. So I think like those things as a beginner's mindset, really can help out because   Laura (21:14.777) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (21:17.324) What I found is you are so meticulous about making sure my movement is not sloppy, that I'm connected. Like there was even a day I was picking up weights on my video. So it wasn't even the workout and you're like, Kiera, watch it right there. Cause when these weights get heavier, you're going to hurt your back and you need to lift these properly. And so I really think as a beginner, maybe even taking a workout, that sounds so funny, but like, Hey, could you just like tell me what you would like critique on this squat? You don't even know what the heck they're doing, but almost like taking that to the consultation. Yeah.   Laura (21:43.031) Yeah, but just see how they go through. I like that idea.   Kiera Dent (21:46.618) Now I can see it. I can see it a lot more, for me,   Laura (21:49.667) Yeah, as a beginner, hard to know. I mean, you can sometimes you can scroll through someone's feed and see like, is there? What do they find important in workouts? What are they posting about? What do their workouts look like? Are they slow? Are they connected? Or are they just like rushing through? And I think you could spot a couple of things, but yeah, asking specific question as far as like, what is, what will we focus on when we're working out? You know, ask them what,   Kiera Dent (22:02.042) Mm-hmm.   Laura (22:17.919) What is your skill level on critiquing technique? Yeah, it's a hard, that's a hard, that piece is a little hard to figure out as a beginner and talking to trainers. That's something to think on.   Kiera Dent (22:30.858) Mm-hmm. And that's something I would, I feel like you were so adamant with me about getting my movements perfect without adding weight. Cause I think a lot go to like wanting to get results. And for you, you don't care if my body's not changing very much at the beginning. If I'm not mastering my movements, that's gonna be what you're gonna be core focused on until I get those right. And I think to me, that's what I care about because once you master the movements, then you can lift the weight like,   Kiera Dent (22:57.016) We were doing heavier weight than I ever thought. And I'm coming as a girl who could not squat, could not lunge, could not do any of that. Laura, kudos to you. You were able to work through it so much. So maybe even pretend you have all of my ailments when you go into the consultation and see, could they help you? And then you'd really know. that's something I really do love because Laura does do virtual. And so if you don't live in Reno, she was incredible. We did almost a year virtual before I went in person. And so I think like,   Laura (23:08.824) Hahaha   Just ask Kiera to do the consultation with you and she'll tell you.   Kiera Dent (23:26.21) mastering the techniques and getting into the workouts and like you, you hunted me down. And for some people virtual doesn't work, but I think for a lot of people giving that a go, I think is super helpful, but I really want to quickly pivot because I, it's going to be controversial Laura and I can't wait. And I didn't prepare you for this. but I think you'll have a good answer. Let's say I'm looking at this and I'm like, okay, I'm going to work out. but I hear like calories in like abs are made in the kitchen, not necessarily at the gym.   Laura (23:41.207) Mm-hmm. Okay.   Laura  (23:52.963) Mm-hmm. Yeah.   Kiera Dent (23:55.894) So what's more important to you? Is it my diet and my macros, which we'll get into macros in a second. I had no clue what it was, or is it like technique and workout?   Laura (24:05.642) gosh, that's an impossible question. Absolutely impossible. It definitely depends on what your goals are. What I think everyone's goal should be is to age in a graceful way. That's such a cliche thing to say, but to be healthy, you know, to be healthy and feel your absolute best and be able to show up for your family as you age. So, and with that goal, both of those things matter. If you're not.   Kiera Dent (24:22.97) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (24:31.322) I knew you'd say both, I knew it!   Laura (24:33.689) I can't, can't pick one or the other. I absolutely can't. And then if we go to the other goal that a lot of people have, which is aesthetics and like looking a certain way, both also matter very much. And it depends on like your body type, you know? So I can't, I can't give you a straight answer on that.   Kiera Dent (24:49.081) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (24:53.402) Okay, well let's talk food because this was like, think Laura and I talked, I think on our last like virtual session and we were like debating, we wanted to continue. And I said, I like workout Laura. I don't like food Laura. And you said, I like workout Kiera. I don't like food Kiera. So let's talk about food because for me, food was actually a really tricky thing. It was something I did not enjoy. But.   Like, can we just touch on macros and like why you find macros important and what macros even are for those who don't even know what the heck we're talking about. And then I will share my version of this, of how I've like worked through it as someone who has struggled with my relationship with food for a lot of my life and just had like a huge, amazing win at Thanksgiving that was just like a really incredible way for me to see the progress I've made with this food journey. So Laura, talk about macros, food, how this works with your workouts.   Laura (25:26.51) Yes.   Laura (25:33.497) Mm-hmm.   Laura (25:45.901) Yes. Yes. So macros, just to give you guys an idea of what they are, are macronutrients. All of our food are made up of macronutrients. Our proteins, our carbs, and our fats. These are the macro big nutrients in our food. There's also micronutrients, which are your vitamins and minerals within the foods that we eat. The reason I chose to do macros, I've done everything under the sun. From the time I was...   very young and doing like, I can't remember the name of the shakes that my mom was doing. You know, it's like, I have been quote unquote dieting for 20 years. And so I've done keto, I've done a meal plan, I've done competitive bodybuilding, I've done, what else is there? Whole 30. I've done, you know, like shakes, like the isogenics, 30 day cleanse. I've done cleanses, I've done all kinds of things.   Kiera Dent (26:16.682) yeah.   Laura (26:40.721) And why I landed on macros was because with all of those other diets, it was very hard to imagine doing it forever. like for keto, for example, keto diet is where you're eating very, very low carbs and your majority eating proteins and fats. For me, I'm like, I love my vegetables. I love my potatoes. I love my bread. I can't see myself never having those things again. It felt too restrictive.   And with meal plans, know, coach giving you a meal plan of like, here's what I want you to have for breakfast. Here's what I want you to have for lunch. There's not much flexibility. You don't have control. With macros, you're simply given, this is how much protein I want you to eat. This is how much carbs I want you to eat. And this is how many fats I want you to eat. And you get to fill those in the way that you want. There are guidelines. Of course, we don't want everyone having packaged food, their entire, you know, a hundred percent of their food. We want whole foods.   foods close to earth 80 % of the time, but for that other 20 % of the time, have fun, have what you want. I love cookies. I love Mexican food. love sushi. I love going out to dinner and I can make all of that work within my macros. And with clients specifically, the biggest win I always get with the whole macro counting thing is you just learn with the foods that you love, you learn what they're made up of and you learn how to use them to fuel your goals.   So people that love bagels, have a bagel before your workout, have a bagel after your workout. Having those starchy carbs before or after a workout is extremely beneficial to help energize you for your workouts and help recover your muscles from the workout that you just did. And then prioritize your fibrous foods later on in the day to help satiate yourself so you're not going to bed feeling starving.   So there's a strategy involved. get to, you learn so, so much about the foods you're already eating. You make these tiny, small little changes that will help you get the results that you've always dreamed of. And it's something that you can do forever.   Laura (28:46.809) A lot of people, not everybody. Not everyone can do it. I also struggled with an eating disorder for a decade. I had bulimia for a long time and maybe not a decade. It started when I was like 13 for no good reason. Someone else, some girl was doing it. 13 years old, isn't that insane? And my, you know, I've been healed from that for about five, six years now.   Kiera Dent (29:03.47) It's insane. It's insane.   Laura (29:12.453) And I feel like I have been doing macros for about five, six years now. And I do feel like it was healing for me. It truly helped me stop the bad behavior of labeling foods good and bad, of binging because I was feeling so restricted on other diets. And yeah, it's just allowed a lot of freedom and flexibility for me and healed a lot of food trauma for me. So that's the gist.   Kiera Dent (29:16.506) That's incredible.   Kiera Dent (29:40.622) Yeah, that's incredible. And congratulations. I think that that's a big thing. Whether you're male or female, I think body image, think food issues. I think all of us have it, whether it's binging, whether it's not eating healthy, like all these things. And I think if we go back to like what you said of aging, like for me, I wouldn't be able to say yes to like hiking Machu Picchu when I'm 95. Like I really want to be that person where my last like...   Laura (29:50.041) Mm-hmm.   Laura (30:02.489) And I'm gonna turn it.   Kiera Dent (30:06.776) I don't know, month of my life is when my body decides to give out on me because I've taken such good care of her. And Jason's like, no, no, no, let's just go in a car accident. let's not even have that last month. So, you know, we've upped our game, but just thinking about that, the food situation for me, I think going into it, that was hard because I'm adding a workout, plus I'm adding food and my default is if it's too hard to eat, I'm just not going to eat.   Laura (30:16.409) Mm-hmm.   Hahaha   Kiera Dent (30:33.442) And so that was like my big struggle with macros, but what was super fascinating to me was realizing how much fat was in food, like shocking amounts of fat. Like I was blown away when I started looking at labels, seeing that I could have almost the exact same food, but just eating different. like, instead of bacon, like you can have turkey bacon and get a ton of protein. Like it actually grills up way easier. It was kind of a fun puzzle. And like, I just got it to where it was like simple things like,   I understand it's fats, carbs and proteins for every meal. And Laura, you did a great job because like Jason, I go out to eat all the time. I'm on the road all the time. And so just even learning like, what can you eat at restaurants that works within macros? And agreed, it's not good or bad. Like I can straight up pound these amazing, like I love Laura. I don't think I've even told you this. When I'm done working out, uncrustable strawberry, like it's so good and it is amazing, but to not have that good or bad.   Laura (31:22.041) yes.   Kiera Dent (31:28.726) is such a freeing thing. so I really think the thing I loved was you said, Keir, if you want to build muscle, you've got to actually like have enough protein to build this muscle. And so learning that I'm not having food just for pleasure. I'm having food to fuel these goals that I want of looking a certain way of having the muscle strength to be able like right now, I just don't want to be a weak feeble grandma. Like that's really my goal is to just not be that. And so it's like, build the glutes, build the hams, build the back, build the arms like   Laura  (31:56.003) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (31:56.728) And it's been crazy because as I've been building muscle, I actually don't have as many problems because we've been able to like stabilize around my shoulders, stabilize around my knees. Like it still happens and there's still setbacks, but it's less and less compared to what it was. And so I knew you'd say food and workouts go hand in hand, but I think for everybody listening, I think just like a one or 2 % change in each of these areas is a great start. So it's like, do one squat and maybe think about like fats, proteins and carbs.   or maybe even just look at the labels of how many fats there are. Like just look at that and see. And I think that would be a fun thing. So I know as we kick off the new year, as I know we roll into this, usually we're looking at goals for our businesses. And I'm hoping with this podcast that you look at goals for your life. Goals of like, I look at my life and I want to travel a ton. But to do that, this amazing body that I've been blessed with also needs to be taken care of. And so that's what I was hoping bringing Laura on of like.   A, as a thank you, she's done so much for me and just like healing my, like my body. It's so fun when I hit gains at the gym and I'm like, Laura, we're freaking lifting like more than I ever thought I'd be able to. That has been so rewarding for me as a human. And so as a huge appreciation to Laura, like I want her on the podcast. I want to expose her to all of you. But secondly, it's a new year and I feel like giving you tools and resources to get on your health journey if you want to, to have resources in the industry. So I wanted Laura to be an example for you of   Hey, if it works great, reach out to her. If you want to chat with her, she does men and women. She tends to coach more women than men. That's okay. but there's lots of great coaches out there for men and women. She even critiqued Jason in my workouts. Jason did a lot of workouts with me at home. So it was fun. He and I did them together. I would tell him like, Laura says you need to get that leg up higher. Like it's not quite the right form. so that was a ton of fun we did together, but just having a resource out there, you could even follow her, look at kind of how she coaches.   Laura (33:44.217) What?   Kiera Dent (33:51.758) But just like learning the things that she's doing, I thought would be so valuable. Cause I hope that this year you give yourself not only the gift of growing your practice, but also becoming like having the body that you want, having the body that can feel your dreams and desires and truly honoring that body that does so much for you. So Laura, tell people how they can get in touch with you. I appreciate you so much. So just share with the world how they can connect with you. Cause I think you are such a gift to this world that I'm so grateful to know.   Laura (34:17.369) Well, thank you so much. really appreciate it. so Instagram is probably one of the best ways to contact me. It's Laura Lee, MIT. I also have a website coached by laura.co and you can apply for coaching on that website. but yeah, as Kiera said, well, I want to add on to what you said that once you decide to start this journey, if you can commit to just like the small one to 2 % change,   and never stop, you're never going to regret it. It's the most beautiful, amazing journey that I have ever done for myself. And I watch women do it every single day. it's just, lives are changed and experience of life just goes through the roof. It's just such a better experience. So, yeah, just encouraging you start and don't stop and make it, make it small, make it doable, but start and don't stop. Yeah.   Kiera Dent (35:14.042) Brilliant. I love it. And I will say, coming from someone who did not enjoy working out, I remember you said one time, like, you never regret going to the gym. And I've thought about that a lot. And I'm like, sometimes I regret driving to the gym because I don't want to be there. You've even asked me, like, are you excited to be here today? And I'm like, no, I don't want to be here. But every time I leave, I feel so good. And I think just like, as you said, start and don't stop and think about like,   Laura (35:23.961) I'm sorry.   Laura (35:31.842) We'll be back.   Kiera Dent (35:40.226) Our bodies do so much for us. This is the one little simple act we get to do back for it that serves it. And I think about, I'm gonna do like a cheesy dental analogy, but telling so many patients about fluoride, we always say like, this is the most proactive and preventative thing you can do for your teeth. And I feel like similarly working out and eating well is most proactive and preventative thing that we can do for our bodies for long-term health and sustainability. So Laura, thank you for what you've done. I would really recommend, I hope all of you reach out, connect.   Do something for your body this year. I know a year from now when we're chatting in January of next year, you will be so grateful like I am that you cared about yourself enough, that you loved that body that does so much for you, that's allowed you to have the business and the life and the job and the family and all the different pieces that taking 15 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour every day to honor it is the greatest gift you'll ever give yourself. So Laura, thank you.   Laura (36:34.275) Thank you.   Kiera Dent (36:35.914) Of course. And as always, thanks for listening. I'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team Podcast.

Bruce Smith is hurting. He's feeling the effects of those 299 total games played, those 214.5 total sacks (playoffs included). Many nights, he's in so much pain that he barely grabs a wink of sleep.So just imagine how all those quarterbacks feel.Those 76 different quarterbacks he sacked.The Buffalo Bills legend is truly one of the greatest football players to ever live. On this episode of “How the NFL Works” at Go Long, Smith explains exactly how he was able to dominate offenses. The Pro Football Hall of Famer was named to the NFL's All-Decade Team in both the 80s and 90s. Nobody sacked the quarterback more than him — not Reggie White, not Lawrence Taylor. There's a very good chance his regular-season record of 200 lasts for a long, long time. For perspective, Myles Garrett still has 98 sacks to go.And yet, Smith also knows his career could've crumbled if he didn't look in the mirror and demand changes from himself. From brutal training sessions on a StairMaster to his diet to — above all — meticulous film study, Smith became a monstrous force vs. the pass and the run on the Bills team that reached four straight Super Bowls. And he did it while playing in a 3-4 defense. Indeed, there's an art to the destruction. On this episode, Smith doesn't hold back on a variety of topics. * His life turnaround, from 310 pounds and out of shape to 6.3 percent body fat.* His relationship with Bills fans. It has evolved. During the ‘91 season, he received racist letters and wanted out of Buffalo. One conversation with Marv Levy changed his mind.* Stories from the trenches. What did Joe Montana and Dan Marino have to say after Smith flattened them?* What kind of owner was Ralph Wilson?* What was the missing piece on his Super Bowl teams?* Josh Allen. Smith marvels at the team's MVP-worthy quarterback today. He keeps in touch with Sean McDermott and Brandon Beane, too.* Yes, Smith believes he's got the case to make as the greatest defensive player ever.Video and audio are available here.Go Long is completely powered by you. No ads. No sponsors. Thank you for subscribing and sharing the show with a friend.I'll post the written transcript later today.Past episodes of “How the NFL Works:”* S1, E8: Quarterback Bliss with Matt Hasselbeck* S1, E7: BLITZBURGH with Levon Kirkland* S1 E6: The Domination of Chris Lindstrom* S1 E5: Inside Kenny Clark's Lair* S1 E4: 'Get a Quarterback' with Super Bowl champ and ex-NFL exec Jim Monos* S1 E3: Resurrecting a Franchise with Ron Wolf* S1 E2: Life After Football with Ryan Leaf* S1 E1: Building the 2024 Quarterback with Quincy Avery This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.golongtd.com/subscribe

Summary In this episode of The Chasing Health Podcast, Chase Smith and Chris Bealhen tackle another round of listener-submitted questions with humor, honesty, and practical advice. From the importance of workout order to debunking fitness myths like sweating and stairmasters, the duo provides actionable insights for lifters at all levels. They discuss the rise of colostrum supplements and why foundational habits always outweigh fads, and even answer quirky questions like whether late-night protein impacts sleep. Tune in for laughs and lessons as the hosts remind you to focus on what truly matters in your fitness journey. Chapters 00:00 Welcome and Opening Banter01:06 Does Workout Order Matter?06:14 Club Soda vs. Carbonated Water: What's Best?07:47 The Truth About Colostrum Supplements13:19 Does Sweating Equal a Good Workout?15:28 Should You Use the Stairmaster on Leg Day?17:35 Combating Soreness After a Workout20:27 Eating High Protein Before Bed: Does It Disrupt Sleep?22:47 Can Treadmill Walking Be a Warm-Up?25:04 Does One Workout a Week Even Count?28:27 Wrap-Up and Call for Questions SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS to be answered on the show: https://forms.gle/B6bpTBDYnDcbUkeD7 How to Connect with Us:Chase's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/changing_chase/Chris' Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/conquer_fitness2021/Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/665770984678334/Interested in 1:1 Coaching: https://conquerfitnessandnutrition.com/1on1-coachingJoin The Fit Fam Collective: https://conquerfitnessandnutrition.com/fit-fam-collective

 A heroine goes back in time to a sticky-fingered situation.By Mark V Sharp, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. The current reigning Miss Americana is a college student who forces Professor Whirter to send her back to the First Thanksgiving; so she can help Flag Girl with a history assignment. She gets led before the elders of the colony, only for a distraught messenger to run in reporting that the Wampanoag party carrying the majority of the food has turned back. Having spotted Miss Americana, they have concluded the colony cannot be so hard up for food as they claim if it contains one as well-endowed as she is.In order to restore history, Miss Americana presents herself as a peace offering to restore Massasoit's favor. She ends up being a feature of the event; from her place at the end of the long Thanksgiving table. For the entire duration of the famous feast, a seemingly endless succession of Wampanoag warriors indulge in her charms.Finally, after everyone has had their fill, she is left a sprawled devastated wreck upon the gutted feasting table. Alone at last, she gets warped safely back to the present, only to discover that her misadventure will have lasting and historic consequences for the interior of her womb. Miss Americana goes to the First Thanksgiving"Flag Girl has a school project due, Dr. Whirter," Miss Americana said. "She's flunking, so we need a guaranteed A. So I want you to send me back in time. If we can learn the true history of the First Thanksgiving, then with the report I'll help her write there's no way she can fail."Professor Whirter shook his head. "Miss Americana!" he gasped. "The time machine is not a toy! You cannot use it for such purposes!"The mighty superheroine stood before him in his lab. She was resplendent in her defiant costume, which consisted chiefly of a patriotic American Flag bikini. A golden belt, the source of her powers, lay cinched tight about her buxom hips, emblazoned with a bright red A upon its buckle, at the center of her broad flat belly. She wore a star-spangled mask upon her face to protect her secret identity, with a matching A on her forehead. Two red gloves with blue A's on the backs of her hands, and gleaming red boots, completed her ensemble.Her sidekick Flag Girl stood by her side, in a very similar but less ostentatious version of the same costume, and at least had the decency to blush. Behind Americana's sculpted ass, the platform of the Professor's newly-built time machine waited.Miss Americana's expression darkened behind her mask. She was a proud woman and not used to being denied. "Professor," she growled, "my, I mean, my good friend Brenda Wade's money pays for this place. Do you really want me to put in a word with her about how, diligently, you use your funding?"The Professor's blood ran cold, and he caved immediately. "Alright, alright," he said, bowing his head. Obediently, he went to the control panel, and started twisting dials. Flag Girl followed, watching curiously over his shoulder. Smiling smugly at her easy victory, Miss Americana walked up onto the round steel platform of the time machine."Ready?" Professor Whirter asked, as the machine started to hum."Ready!" Miss Americana announced, proudly. A crackle of energy sounded, and a glow of light enveloped her. When it faded, she was gone.The wind stirred the woods near the Plymouth colony. It was autumn, and the leaves were red and orange and brown. There was a crackle of energy and a flash of light, and Miss Americana appeared. Sauntering up to the edge of the tree-line, she pulled down a branch and smirked.Before her, across a large tilled field covered in the remains of harvested wheat, lay a hill. Atop the hill she saw a cluster of rough-hewn houses overlooking a rocky harbor. A second adjacent hill nearby held a simple earthwork with a few cannon emplaced upon it."Perfect," she cooed.There came a rustling in the brush behind her. Two men emerged, one tall and one short. They wore black woolen clothing and broad-brimmed black hats. Each brandished a long flintlock musket."Told you I heard a noise," the tall Pilgrim said to the short one."Heaven defend us!" the short Pilgrim said, eyes going wide, as he saw what had caused it.The two Pilgrims gaped in disbelief for several seconds at the stacked scantily-clad beauty that stood before them."Hello," Miss Americana said. She started to move towards them.But at that instant, the short Pilgrim snapped his musket up and pointed it at her. "Stay back, witch!" he said.His companion seemed less sure. "Are you sure she's a witch?" he asked."She's a strange woman hanging out in the woods, what else could she be?" the short one asked."Hmm," the tall one said. He looked Americana up and down again. "Well, she has certainly cast a spell on my phallus so,"He suddenly snapped his musket up, and cocked back the flint. "Get on your knees and put your hands up, witch!" he said. "No speaking hexes, either!"Miss Americana sighed, and shook her head, as she looked down the barrels of the two Pilgrims' long guns. Given the protections of her belt, she had absolutely nothing to fear from bullets. "You boys are making a big mistake," she cooed at them, as she cracked her knuckles and prepared to use her superhuman might to subdue them. "Fortunately I can correct it,"But suddenly, a noise crackled in the earpiece of the communication system embedded in her earrings and choker."Miss Americana!" Professor Whirter's voice said, rising and falling from time distortion as he spoke to her from the viewing panel of his time machine. "You cannot harm anyone in this period!" he said. "Given their lack of medical care and poor nutrition, one punch could be deadly. And each of these men may have tens of thousands of descendants in our modern time, one of which just might be you! If you lay a finger upon them you might well erase yourself from history!""Oh," Miss Americana gulped. "Right,"She looked back and forth between the two men and their guns. She swallowed, but realized she truly had no choice. Getting summoned back immediately, in front of the two witnesses, could hardly disturb the time line much less."On second thought," she said, "I surrender."She went down onto her knees before them, and put her hands up.The taller Pilgrim kept his gun on her, while the shorter Pilgrim came forward. He had a set of iron manacles he had brought on his patrol, in case they should happen upon a hostile person spying on the colony and have a chance to take him prisoner. While his partner covered him, he dragged Americana's hands behind her curvy back and manacled them above her ass, having great difficulty keeping his eyes off the panty-swelling contours of her posterior as he did so. Then he put an iron collar on her, to which was attached a length of chain."There," he said, backing up. "The cold iron should keep the witch from casting any hexes upon us.""If you say so," Miss Americana said, standing back up. Due to her superior nutrition and super-human genetics, she stood a head taller than even the taller of them. The shorter Pilgrim's head was level with her enormous breasts, a fact that despite his literally puritanical nature he seemed to find immensely affecting. "Now, please take me to your leaders so that I may work this misunderstanding out."Eyeing her up and down, the taller one turned to his partner. "Let's take her to the Elders," he said. "Between them, the Reverend, the Governor, and Captain Standish will know what to do with her."Miss Americana rolled her eyes. "That's what I said, you oafs!" she said, the chains clanking as she shifted her bikini-clad body impatiently.Leading her by her new chain, the two Pilgrims marched Miss Americana out of the woods and up the hill towards the colony. As she approached, Miss Americana saw that a long table had been set up in the middle of the ring of houses. Although there were seats for over a hundred, only about forty men sat at it, and despite what should have been the impending festivities they looked nervous and emaciated. A short distance away upon the hill she noticed a chillingly extensive grave-yard, with nearly as many shallow and hastily-dug graves as she saw living people in the colony.A little ways away from the main table, a second table had been set up for the Elders of the community, though here too there were several empty seats. They sat only on one side, facing towards the rest of the community. Miss Americana was brought to stand before the Elders, while the rest of the male colonists gaped at her in disbelief from where they sat. Several women and children rushed out to the doors and windows of the houses where they were working preparing the day's large meal and also stared in wonder at the strange woman being led through their midst, although their faces twisted in jealousy when they saw how their men were gaping at her.As she was marched forth, Miss Americana wracked her brain desperately, for once, for a non-violent solution to her problems. 'Who would wear a bikini during this time period?' she thought to herself. Then suddenly, with a gasp, she got an idea."We caught this strangely-attired and exotically-shaped one snooping about in the north-west forest," the tall pilgrim said."We think she's a witch," the short one said. "Shall we put her under some rocks and crush her to find out?"Stepping forward dramatically, Miss Americana lifted her head high and addressed the elders of the colony directly."I am not a witch!" she boldly declared. "I am an Englishwoman, like you! But I was captured by the Turks and kept in their harem. I escaped from the sultan's palace, but was blown by a storm all the way to this shore!"'That ought to fool these simpletons,' she thought to herself smugly, as she watched them process this.Before her, at the center of the table, the leading men of the colony sat, pondering her response. She vaguely recognized them, from their historical portraits: William Brewster, the chief spiritual leader of the colony; Myles Standish, the captain of the colonial militia; and William Bradford, the colony's current Governor. They each stroked their beards, considering her."Hmm," Captain Standish said. "If what you say is true, and you are no witch, then you should be prepared to prove it so," he said."Prove it? And how should I do that?" Miss Americana asked, indignantly."If you were a harem girl," Captain Standish said, "then you know how to dance like one. So, show us." He turned his head to the man next to him. "Do you permit this Reverend?" he asked.Beside him, Reverend Brewster shifted uncomfortably, as he allowed his holy gaze to sweep up and down Americana's flesh. But then he nodded. "If it is necessary to prove whether she is in league with the Devil, then, as God wills it," he said.Americana gasped. "H-how can you ask me that?" she said.Governor Bradford looked at the other two, then back to her, and smirked. "The Captain has given his orders and the Reverend has given his permission," he told her. "So if your story is true then prove it." He nodded up to the large table. "You can do it on there, if you would be so kind."Miss Americana gasped. But then she lifted her head and nodded, haughtily."Very well," she said. She held up her wrists behind her back, the manacles clanking on them. "But I cannot dance in these!" she said.At a quickly-supplied nod from Captain Standish in his role as commander of the militia, the short pilgrim approached and unlocked Americana's manacles. But they left the collar on her. Her chain still held at the far end by the tall pilgrim like a long leash, Miss Americana turned and, with as much grace and dignity as she could muster, marched up to the long table and ascended to stand atop it. Around her the common Pilgrims, male and female alike, gaped up in awe as she came to tower against the sky above them.Standing tall before the whole colony, Miss Americana lifted up her arms, and arched her body gracefully. "Prepare to see my skill, and know I speak the truth!" she said.And with that, she began to dance."H-holy shit," one Pilgrim gasped, gaping upwards in awe."That's blasphemy," a second beside him murmured. "Also, god fucking damn," he added, staring up as well.None of them had ever seen anything like it. Miss Americana did her best to imitate how she had seen strippers or slutty girls in night clubs dance, whenever she had ventured into those places as part of her crime-fighting duties. Lifting her arms up she shook her enormous cans in broad circles, making them slosh and bounce dramatically within the confines of her gargantuan yet overloaded bra. Going down low, she bounced her ass just above the table, while presenting an excellent view of her panty-clad crotch between her wide-spread thighs. Twirling about, she shook and shimmied her ass for them, showing off the grace and flexibility of her muscular legs at the same time she shook the contours of her enormous bubble-ass.Midway through her performance, there came a loud crackling, then a pilgrim suddenly came up holding a large wooden bowl."Verily, my friends," he said, "I was so distracted by the witch's performance, I dropped the last of that 'maize' stuff into the fire and, look what happened!"His large bowl was filled to the brim with popcorn. Passing it around, the Pilgrims munched eagerly as they watched Miss Americana, having become lost in her own perfectionism, continue to dance and dance seductively before them.A little later, munching a little popcorn of his own, Myles Standish leaned over and put his lips near Reverend Brewster's ear."Did the Lord really condone this, William?" he asked, chuckling softly.Reverend Brewster shook his head. "After so many deaths the colony certainly needed a boost of morale," he said. "Clearly God sent us one. Also, shut up." Taking some of Captain Standish's popcorn, he munched on it as well as he watched Miss Americana, bent low at the waist, shake and shimmy her enormous breasts in such a way that he could like right down the tremendous cleavage between them.Suddenly, a distraught sentry came running into the midst of the colony, stopping only briefly, to gape at what he had been missing in wonder."Governor Bradford, Governor Bradford!" he moaned, his eyes still darting over repeatedly to take in the dancing Queen of Justice in awe. "The Indians! They are not coming! They are turning back, and taking their food with them!"At this a great groan rose from the Pilgrims, even as they continued to stare at Miss Americana's wiggling and grinding bubble-ass."What?!" Governor Bradford gasped. "But our stores are almost depleted! Without that food, we'll starve! Why have they turned back?!"The sentry nodded up to Miss Americana."When the Sachem's party came out of the woods, they saw the huge teats and fat ass on that one," he said. "The Sachem said that if we had a woman of such bountiful proportions, we surely could not be starving, and had deceived him as to our lack of food,"At this, Miss Americana stopped dancing and gasped down in shock."My ass is not fat!" she hissed, her face quivering in fury behind her mask. Reaching back she slapped her gloved hand against her ass repeatedly, turning so every member of the community got to see, showing off that though it was awesomely projecting and generously curved, every inch of her enormous bubble-ass was in fact taut and silky muscle. "Two hours a day on a Stairmaster doesn't lead to fat!" she hissed.Reverend Brewster turned to Captain Standish, their veteran soldier and military expert. "What's a stair-masterer?" he asked. "Some sort of Turkish siege engine?"Myles shrugged, puzzled."Never mind that!" Governor Bradford said. He stood up, getting the community's attention off Miss Americana. "This is a disaster! We have to find some way to make amends. If Massasoit breaks the treaty and stops giving us supplies, we are done for!""Hmm," said Captain Standish. "What we need is some sort of tribute to appease him, a peace offering, if you will.""But the whole point is we have no food!" Reverend Brewster pointed out. "What sort of peace offering could we give?""We could give them our guns, or the cannon," Governor Bradford said."And surrender our only military leverage?" Captain Standish scoffed. "I would sooner dump them in the sea!""The Indians are yet heathens," Reverend Brewster pointed out. "They do not follow Christian virtues. So what sort of 'peace offering' might they be interested in?"For a short time, the Pilgrims looked at one another. Then, slowly, all eyes turned up to look at Miss Americana, and stared at her spectacular and well-displayed body meaningfully.Miss Americana stared back for a few seconds, still perched imperiously upon their table. Then, as she realized what they were all thinking, her jaw dropped."No," she whispered. "No, no, No!" Reaching up she folded her hands over her giant breasts, which given the quantity of her flesh on display, did little to reduce the quality of the goods for them to consider when evaluating potential tributes. "How, how can you even consider that?!" she hissed. "Aren't you Puritans?! A Godly people?!"Reverend Brewster shook his head."We are," he affirmed. "But, woman, even God must recognize a lost cause at some point. Verily, I see from your attire that you have already committed adultery no less than four times!"Lifting his hand, he pointed to various parts of Miss Americana's body. Upon her tiara and upon her belt was emblazoned a bright red A. Her red gloves also each had a large blue A upon them."I know well the meaning of the scarlet A's," Reverend Brewster said. "The azure ones I am not familiar with, perhaps they mean you only soiled your mouth or your posterior entrance? But regardless, woman, I am a man of God, but at some point surely one does have to ask, is even the Good Lord Himself going to give the tiniest of shits about just a few more?"Looking down, Miss Americana gasped as she stared at the bright red A upon her belt, and the blue ones upon her gloves, and finally remembered her Hawthorne.'Great Justice! Why didn't I pay more attention in high school lit class?' she thought, marking the first time in all of recorded history that this has occurred.But then she looked back up, and saw that all the Pilgrims were nodding in agreement with their spiritual leader. She swallowed.Suddenly, a sound came over her microphone. "You made the choice to go back into the past," Professor Whirter chided her. He could not quite keep the relish out of his voice, to see the arrogant heroine hoisted upon her own scantily-clad petard. "It is your duty now to make sure history goes forward, no matter what that takes!" He cut the feed again.Americana gasped. But then, squirming before the staring Pilgrims, she bowed her head and then slowly nodded."Very well," she said. "If it is what must happen, then so be it."At this, one of the few surviving female Pilgrims could remain properly silent no longer."Hey!" she snapped, from where she stood in the door of her roughly-built house, an apron over her simple dress and her hands soiled with flour from her long labors to prepare the day's feast. "You might fool them," she said, nodding at the men, "but you can't fool me. Given how you just danced in front of my husband, and that after all this time you still wear that harem attire with relish, don't pretend you don't want every cock you can take you thrice-damned Jezebel!"At this, Miss Americana gasped in shock. But she did not get a chance to respond, for around her the men had already launched into preparing their response, it had to be sent swiftly, before the Native column could get too far. With haste, a runner was sent, vanishing into the woods.In due time, a large party of Native Americans emerged from the forest and began to approach. In the meantime, Miss Americana had gotten down off the table, and now stood under guard nearby, beside and in front of the table of the elders. Miss Americana gulped in trepidation when she saw their numbers, there may have been forty or so adult male Pilgrims left, but there were more than twice that number of Indians approaching, all of them men.At the head of the column, there came a grand and muscular figure with burnished bronze skin, a large head-dress on his head. This, she knew from history and from the whispered comments of the Pilgrim elders just beside her, was Massasoit, the Great Sachem of the Wampanoag people. It was only the treaty he had signed with the now-late Governor Carver, and its attendant protection from raiding and repeated deliveries of food, that had enabled the meager settlement around her to survive at all. At his side walked another Native man in a mixture of native and Pilgrim garb, from more comments among the elders Americana discerned that this was Tisquantum, better known to most white schoolchildren as 'Squanto', the Pilgrims' tutor and interpreter. Although he normally lived amongst the Pilgrims, he had gone off to help escort Massasoit in for this very important meeting.They were also, she could not help but notice, much more buff and handsome than she expected. As she gazed upon them, a strange tingle ran up and down between her legs, accompanied by a sudden and mysterious abundance of fluids.Behind Massasoit came a column of nearly a hundred Wampanoag warriors; a few came armed, but most were instead carrying great baskets filled with food. Turkeys; fish; pumpkins; maize; squash and cranberries, all in enormous quantity. Five recently felled deer were also carried, each on the shoulders to two strapping Wampanoag hunters. The Pilgrims' own supplies were very meager, more so than they would even admit to in the historical record, and Miss Americana realized that without the Indians' food the First Thanksgiving Feast would instead be replaced by a Great Starvation, and the probable extinction of the Plymouth colony.However, although they had come back, the Native American party remained suspicious. The majority of the column stopped just short of the entrance to the colony, and only Massasoit, Squanto, and a small honor guard of strapping warriors came forward to meet the Elders at their table."Greetings, Squanto," Governor Bradford said, standing. "And holy Greetings to the great king Massasoit, may the blessings of our God be upon him.""Greetings, Governor," Squanto replied. He bowed slightly, and gestured to his muscular boss beside him. "But the Great Sachem's mind is not rested. This one," he said, nodding towards Miss Americana, "and her, impressive, proportions, caused him some distress, that perhaps he had been lied to. I understand this is not the case?"Behind him, one by one, each of the native warriors was leaning out and gaping at Miss Americana in awe. In all their days and travels, they had never seen breasts nearly as enormous as hers, nor a figure quite so bountifully and visibly fertile."Please express our deep apologies for the misunderstanding to the Sachem," Governor Bradford replied. "This woman," he said, gesturing toward where Miss Americana stood chained, "is not a member of our community. We desired to give him a gift worthy of his own generosity, but as you know we have no food to spare. So we," He glanced at the two Pilgrims who had captured Americana, and still held her leash. "Obtained her," he decided to say at last, "so that we could have an appropriate present to reward him for his magnanimity."Squanto turned to Massasoit, and they shared a brief conversation in the Wampanoag tongue, which Americana could not understand, and, she gathered from their nervous squirming, the Pilgrims mostly could not either. Then Squanto turned back to them."I see," he said. He eyed Miss Americana up and down. "The Great Sachem wants to know, exactly what is the nature of this, gift?"Sitting near and behind her, Reverend Brewster looked up at Miss Americana's staggering curves."You reply to that one, Scarlet-Lettered One," he told her. "From what we have seen of your instincts with that body, you should not need words to do so,"Miss Americana blushed deeply. Then, she nodded. Before Massasoit, Squanto, the Elders, the Wampanoag warriors, and the entire Pilgrim community, she walked over to stand before the end of the Pilgrims' great main table. This faced back, directly towards where Massasoit stood, some few meters behind her. Reaching up, blush deepening on her cheeks, she put her hand between her breasts, and with a flick undid her golden star-shaped bra catch. Her huge bra, nevertheless under vast strain to contain her super-human rack, exploded apart, allowing her gigantic breasts to spill forth to jostle and sway before everyone."God, damn!" she heard Myles Standish say. Reverend Brewster, sitting right beside him, was himself too occupied by the dropping of his own jaw to call him on his blasphemy. Even the Pilgrim women appeared breathless at the sight of Americana's giant udders. A great hew and shout rose among the Wampanoag column, pointing and gaping in disbelief. Even Massasoit himself, who to this point had stood tall and still like a bronzed god among lesser men, seemed to be affected. Though he said nothing, as Miss Americana's huge breasts shook before him his eyebrows went up, and Miss Americana herself swallowed, as she noticed what seemed to be the stirrings of something disturbingly large in the front of his deerskin trousers.But she could not stop. Shrugging out of her bra, she turned and laid it on the table before her. Then, reaching back, she slipped her gloved hands into the hips of her panties. She squirmed for a few seconds, as she felt the eyes of every single member of both nations staring at her squirming ass. Then slowly, bending low, she guided her panties up and over her ass, and down her thighs. She slipped one boot out of them, then the other, and left them in a tiny colorful heap between her feet.Then, her lips trembling and her cheeks bright pink under her mask, Miss Americana made the one signal a woman could make that, regardless of language and culture, no man could mis-understand. Bending over, she put both hands on the table. Her voluptuous ass lifted up high and wiggling behind her, she slowly slid her boots wider and wider apart, until her long and mighty legs were spread at a nearly forty-five degree angle to either side. Then lifting her head, she looked back over her shoulder, her blue eyes blinking moistly. Her dripping cunt was pointed straight back at Massasoit, gaping slightly to show her tender inner lips between the thicker outer ones, in clear and open invitation.Despite the clarity of Americana's signal, Massasoit still turned and, eyes never leaving the glistening cunt being offered to him, had a brief conversation with Squanto."The Great Sachem wishes to know," Squanto said, afterwards, "whether this gift is for him alone, or for his people as well."The Pilgrim Elders looked at each other.Reverend Brewster shrugged. "As I said," he stated, "at a certain point one must ask, does God care about a few more?"Governor Bradford nodded. "Anyone and everyone can partake of our gift," he said, "as the Chief wishes.""Oh, Great Justice!" Miss Americana whimpered, her eyes blinking in horror. But, knowing she had no choice if she was not to change history, although they trembled, her mighty thighs remained spread wide, and her hands, though they shivered, remained planted flat to the table.Squanto and Massasoit shared another brief conversation. It concluded with what appeared to be a magnanimous gesture by Massasoit, towards Americana's waiting and naked cunt. Squanto nodded, and then stepped forward."The Great Sachem accepts your generous gift," he said. Reaching up, he began to take off his shirt. "As he knows your laws would not permit you to do so yourselves, he wishes that I test her first, to make sure she is worthy of him. He will have her after me, and then the rest of the tribe."Miss Americana let out a tiny whimper of disbelief, as she heard this. But, strangely, the news seemed to have another effect on her cunt, where, between her muscular thighs, her naked slit suddenly seemed to drip with even more gooey juices than before.Unable to watch her fate coming, Americana turned her head away and instead looked down the table. This did little to lessen her humiliation, however, as she now just got to watch the entire Pilgrim community staring up at her, as she stood ready to secure their futures with the much-questioned purity of her gaping cunt.Standing behind her, Squanto took off his pants. This caused an immediate stir among the Pilgrim women."By the Lord," the woman who had called out Miss Americana said, her eyes going hypocritically wide.Another shook her head slowly. "I, I had, suspected," she said. "But I did not realize the true extent of the native's, gifts."Fortunately for the Pilgrim women, their men were too busy staring at the naked Queen of Justice to see where their wives' attention was directed. Meanwhile Miss Americana, her face down and looking at the table, was the only one who could not see what was coming up behind her. So she didn't have any clue what she was in for, until Squanto's dark hands appeared upon her pale curvy hips, and he swung himself up into position."Oh!" Miss Americana gasped, her blue eyes spreading wide, as she realized that, with both of his hands accounted for on her flesh, what she was feeling nuzzling up against her drooling cunt could not be a fist or arm, as she in the initial moment of contact suspected. She gasped deeply, her eyes spreading even wider, as his tip started to part her. She shook her head."Oh, oh my God," she said, as her cunt lips spread wider and wider around the incoming bronze cock-head, until they quivered to either side of the crest of his uncircumcised cock. "I, I didn't know," she whimpered, "that, that Squanto was so hung!" Her voice rose up to a squeal, as he thrust deep inside her."Is," the native interpreter calmly corrected the English-woman on her grammar. Then, taking a tight grip on her hips, he began to slam his massive cock vigorously back and forth inside her drooling slit.Miss Americana shook and squealed, as he nailed her. All around her, the Pilgrim men and women stared in awe. But Americana was not the only one to be affected by the experience for long."Oh, yes!" Squanto announced. Sliding his eager dark hands around from her hips he cupped her enormous breasts from below, and squeezed them, as he continued to nail her gaping cunt with bountiful vigor and abandon. "This, strange woman, is indeed, worthy of the Sachem!" he said. He rolled his head and gasped in awe. "My goodness! She is so tight!" he marveled, squeezing her enormous hooters and stroking their erect tips with his fingers. "And yet, there is an ocean inside her hips!""Very good!" Massasoit announced, revealing that, though he naturally depended on his interpreter for complex and important negotiations, he had had the foresight to learn some rudimentary English himself. He removed his pants and then his loincloth, which caused another stir among the Pilgrim women, as it was revealed that Squanto was not a unique outlier among his people.To be continued in part 2, By Mark V Sharp for Literotica.

 A heroine goes back in time to a sticky-fingered situation.By Mark V Sharp, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. The current reigning Miss Americana is a college student who forces Professor Whirter to send her back to the First Thanksgiving; so she can help Flag Girl with a history assignment. She gets led before the elders of the colony, only for a distraught messenger to run in reporting that the Wampanoag party carrying the majority of the food has turned back. Having spotted Miss Americana, they have concluded the colony cannot be so hard up for food as they claim if it contains one as well-endowed as she is.In order to restore history, Miss Americana presents herself as a peace offering to restore Massasoit's favor. She ends up being a feature of the event; from her place at the end of the long Thanksgiving table. For the entire duration of the famous feast, a seemingly endless succession of Wampanoag warriors indulge in her charms.Finally, after everyone has had their fill, she is left a sprawled devastated wreck upon the gutted feasting table. Alone at last, she gets warped safely back to the present, only to discover that her misadventure will have lasting and historic consequences for the interior of her womb. Miss Americana goes to the First Thanksgiving"Flag Girl has a school project due, Dr. Whirter," Miss Americana said. "She's flunking, so we need a guaranteed A. So I want you to send me back in time. If we can learn the true history of the First Thanksgiving, then with the report I'll help her write there's no way she can fail."Professor Whirter shook his head. "Miss Americana!" he gasped. "The time machine is not a toy! You cannot use it for such purposes!"The mighty superheroine stood before him in his lab. She was resplendent in her defiant costume, which consisted chiefly of a patriotic American Flag bikini. A golden belt, the source of her powers, lay cinched tight about her buxom hips, emblazoned with a bright red A upon its buckle, at the center of her broad flat belly. She wore a star-spangled mask upon her face to protect her secret identity, with a matching A on her forehead. Two red gloves with blue A's on the backs of her hands, and gleaming red boots, completed her ensemble.Her sidekick Flag Girl stood by her side, in a very similar but less ostentatious version of the same costume, and at least had the decency to blush. Behind Americana's sculpted ass, the platform of the Professor's newly-built time machine waited.Miss Americana's expression darkened behind her mask. She was a proud woman and not used to being denied. "Professor," she growled, "my, I mean, my good friend Brenda Wade's money pays for this place. Do you really want me to put in a word with her about how, diligently, you use your funding?"The Professor's blood ran cold, and he caved immediately. "Alright, alright," he said, bowing his head. Obediently, he went to the control panel, and started twisting dials. Flag Girl followed, watching curiously over his shoulder. Smiling smugly at her easy victory, Miss Americana walked up onto the round steel platform of the time machine."Ready?" Professor Whirter asked, as the machine started to hum."Ready!" Miss Americana announced, proudly. A crackle of energy sounded, and a glow of light enveloped her. When it faded, she was gone.The wind stirred the woods near the Plymouth colony. It was autumn, and the leaves were red and orange and brown. There was a crackle of energy and a flash of light, and Miss Americana appeared. Sauntering up to the edge of the tree-line, she pulled down a branch and smirked.Before her, across a large tilled field covered in the remains of harvested wheat, lay a hill. Atop the hill she saw a cluster of rough-hewn houses overlooking a rocky harbor. A second adjacent hill nearby held a simple earthwork with a few cannon emplaced upon it."Perfect," she cooed.There came a rustling in the brush behind her. Two men emerged, one tall and one short. They wore black woolen clothing and broad-brimmed black hats. Each brandished a long flintlock musket."Told you I heard a noise," the tall Pilgrim said to the short one."Heaven defend us!" the short Pilgrim said, eyes going wide, as he saw what had caused it.The two Pilgrims gaped in disbelief for several seconds at the stacked scantily-clad beauty that stood before them."Hello," Miss Americana said. She started to move towards them.But at that instant, the short Pilgrim snapped his musket up and pointed it at her. "Stay back, witch!" he said.His companion seemed less sure. "Are you sure she's a witch?" he asked."She's a strange woman hanging out in the woods, what else could she be?" the short one asked."Hmm," the tall one said. He looked Americana up and down again. "Well, she has certainly cast a spell on my phallus so,"He suddenly snapped his musket up, and cocked back the flint. "Get on your knees and put your hands up, witch!" he said. "No speaking hexes, either!"Miss Americana sighed, and shook her head, as she looked down the barrels of the two Pilgrims' long guns. Given the protections of her belt, she had absolutely nothing to fear from bullets. "You boys are making a big mistake," she cooed at them, as she cracked her knuckles and prepared to use her superhuman might to subdue them. "Fortunately I can correct it,"But suddenly, a noise crackled in the earpiece of the communication system embedded in her earrings and choker."Miss Americana!" Professor Whirter's voice said, rising and falling from time distortion as he spoke to her from the viewing panel of his time machine. "You cannot harm anyone in this period!" he said. "Given their lack of medical care and poor nutrition, one punch could be deadly. And each of these men may have tens of thousands of descendants in our modern time, one of which just might be you! If you lay a finger upon them you might well erase yourself from history!""Oh," Miss Americana gulped. "Right,"She looked back and forth between the two men and their guns. She swallowed, but realized she truly had no choice. Getting summoned back immediately, in front of the two witnesses, could hardly disturb the time line much less."On second thought," she said, "I surrender."She went down onto her knees before them, and put her hands up.The taller Pilgrim kept his gun on her, while the shorter Pilgrim came forward. He had a set of iron manacles he had brought on his patrol, in case they should happen upon a hostile person spying on the colony and have a chance to take him prisoner. While his partner covered him, he dragged Americana's hands behind her curvy back and manacled them above her ass, having great difficulty keeping his eyes off the panty-swelling contours of her posterior as he did so. Then he put an iron collar on her, to which was attached a length of chain."There," he said, backing up. "The cold iron should keep the witch from casting any hexes upon us.""If you say so," Miss Americana said, standing back up. Due to her superior nutrition and super-human genetics, she stood a head taller than even the taller of them. The shorter Pilgrim's head was level with her enormous breasts, a fact that despite his literally puritanical nature he seemed to find immensely affecting. "Now, please take me to your leaders so that I may work this misunderstanding out."Eyeing her up and down, the taller one turned to his partner. "Let's take her to the Elders," he said. "Between them, the Reverend, the Governor, and Captain Standish will know what to do with her."Miss Americana rolled her eyes. "That's what I said, you oafs!" she said, the chains clanking as she shifted her bikini-clad body impatiently.Leading her by her new chain, the two Pilgrims marched Miss Americana out of the woods and up the hill towards the colony. As she approached, Miss Americana saw that a long table had been set up in the middle of the ring of houses. Although there were seats for over a hundred, only about forty men sat at it, and despite what should have been the impending festivities they looked nervous and emaciated. A short distance away upon the hill she noticed a chillingly extensive grave-yard, with nearly as many shallow and hastily-dug graves as she saw living people in the colony.A little ways away from the main table, a second table had been set up for the Elders of the community, though here too there were several empty seats. They sat only on one side, facing towards the rest of the community. Miss Americana was brought to stand before the Elders, while the rest of the male colonists gaped at her in disbelief from where they sat. Several women and children rushed out to the doors and windows of the houses where they were working preparing the day's large meal and also stared in wonder at the strange woman being led through their midst, although their faces twisted in jealousy when they saw how their men were gaping at her.As she was marched forth, Miss Americana wracked her brain desperately, for once, for a non-violent solution to her problems. 'Who would wear a bikini during this time period?' she thought to herself. Then suddenly, with a gasp, she got an idea."We caught this strangely-attired and exotically-shaped one snooping about in the north-west forest," the tall pilgrim said."We think she's a witch," the short one said. "Shall we put her under some rocks and crush her to find out?"Stepping forward dramatically, Miss Americana lifted her head high and addressed the elders of the colony directly."I am not a witch!" she boldly declared. "I am an Englishwoman, like you! But I was captured by the Turks and kept in their harem. I escaped from the sultan's palace, but was blown by a storm all the way to this shore!"'That ought to fool these simpletons,' she thought to herself smugly, as she watched them process this.Before her, at the center of the table, the leading men of the colony sat, pondering her response. She vaguely recognized them, from their historical portraits: William Brewster, the chief spiritual leader of the colony; Myles Standish, the captain of the colonial militia; and William Bradford, the colony's current Governor. They each stroked their beards, considering her."Hmm," Captain Standish said. "If what you say is true, and you are no witch, then you should be prepared to prove it so," he said."Prove it? And how should I do that?" Miss Americana asked, indignantly."If you were a harem girl," Captain Standish said, "then you know how to dance like one. So, show us." He turned his head to the man next to him. "Do you permit this Reverend?" he asked.Beside him, Reverend Brewster shifted uncomfortably, as he allowed his holy gaze to sweep up and down Americana's flesh. But then he nodded. "If it is necessary to prove whether she is in league with the Devil, then, as God wills it," he said.Americana gasped. "H-how can you ask me that?" she said.Governor Bradford looked at the other two, then back to her, and smirked. "The Captain has given his orders and the Reverend has given his permission," he told her. "So if your story is true then prove it." He nodded up to the large table. "You can do it on there, if you would be so kind."Miss Americana gasped. But then she lifted her head and nodded, haughtily."Very well," she said. She held up her wrists behind her back, the manacles clanking on them. "But I cannot dance in these!" she said.At a quickly-supplied nod from Captain Standish in his role as commander of the militia, the short pilgrim approached and unlocked Americana's manacles. But they left the collar on her. Her chain still held at the far end by the tall pilgrim like a long leash, Miss Americana turned and, with as much grace and dignity as she could muster, marched up to the long table and ascended to stand atop it. Around her the common Pilgrims, male and female alike, gaped up in awe as she came to tower against the sky above them.Standing tall before the whole colony, Miss Americana lifted up her arms, and arched her body gracefully. "Prepare to see my skill, and know I speak the truth!" she said.And with that, she began to dance."H-holy shit," one Pilgrim gasped, gaping upwards in awe."That's blasphemy," a second beside him murmured. "Also, god fucking damn," he added, staring up as well.None of them had ever seen anything like it. Miss Americana did her best to imitate how she had seen strippers or slutty girls in night clubs dance, whenever she had ventured into those places as part of her crime-fighting duties. Lifting her arms up she shook her enormous cans in broad circles, making them slosh and bounce dramatically within the confines of her gargantuan yet overloaded bra. Going down low, she bounced her ass just above the table, while presenting an excellent view of her panty-clad crotch between her wide-spread thighs. Twirling about, she shook and shimmied her ass for them, showing off the grace and flexibility of her muscular legs at the same time she shook the contours of her enormous bubble-ass.Midway through her performance, there came a loud crackling, then a pilgrim suddenly came up holding a large wooden bowl."Verily, my friends," he said, "I was so distracted by the witch's performance, I dropped the last of that 'maize' stuff into the fire and, look what happened!"His large bowl was filled to the brim with popcorn. Passing it around, the Pilgrims munched eagerly as they watched Miss Americana, having become lost in her own perfectionism, continue to dance and dance seductively before them.A little later, munching a little popcorn of his own, Myles Standish leaned over and put his lips near Reverend Brewster's ear."Did the Lord really condone this, William?" he asked, chuckling softly.Reverend Brewster shook his head. "After so many deaths the colony certainly needed a boost of morale," he said. "Clearly God sent us one. Also, shut up." Taking some of Captain Standish's popcorn, he munched on it as well as he watched Miss Americana, bent low at the waist, shake and shimmy her enormous breasts in such a way that he could like right down the tremendous cleavage between them.Suddenly, a distraught sentry came running into the midst of the colony, stopping only briefly, to gape at what he had been missing in wonder."Governor Bradford, Governor Bradford!" he moaned, his eyes still darting over repeatedly to take in the dancing Queen of Justice in awe. "The Indians! They are not coming! They are turning back, and taking their food with them!"At this a great groan rose from the Pilgrims, even as they continued to stare at Miss Americana's wiggling and grinding bubble-ass."What?!" Governor Bradford gasped. "But our stores are almost depleted! Without that food, we'll starve! Why have they turned back?!"The sentry nodded up to Miss Americana."When the Sachem's party came out of the woods, they saw the huge teats and fat ass on that one," he said. "The Sachem said that if we had a woman of such bountiful proportions, we surely could not be starving, and had deceived him as to our lack of food,"At this, Miss Americana stopped dancing and gasped down in shock."My ass is not fat!" she hissed, her face quivering in fury behind her mask. Reaching back she slapped her gloved hand against her ass repeatedly, turning so every member of the community got to see, showing off that though it was awesomely projecting and generously curved, every inch of her enormous bubble-ass was in fact taut and silky muscle. "Two hours a day on a Stairmaster doesn't lead to fat!" she hissed.Reverend Brewster turned to Captain Standish, their veteran soldier and military expert. "What's a stair-masterer?" he asked. "Some sort of Turkish siege engine?"Myles shrugged, puzzled."Never mind that!" Governor Bradford said. He stood up, getting the community's attention off Miss Americana. "This is a disaster! We have to find some way to make amends. If Massasoit breaks the treaty and stops giving us supplies, we are done for!""Hmm," said Captain Standish. "What we need is some sort of tribute to appease him, a peace offering, if you will.""But the whole point is we have no food!" Reverend Brewster pointed out. "What sort of peace offering could we give?""We could give them our guns, or the cannon," Governor Bradford said."And surrender our only military leverage?" Captain Standish scoffed. "I would sooner dump them in the sea!""The Indians are yet heathens," Reverend Brewster pointed out. "They do not follow Christian virtues. So what sort of 'peace offering' might they be interested in?"For a short time, the Pilgrims looked at one another. Then, slowly, all eyes turned up to look at Miss Americana, and stared at her spectacular and well-displayed body meaningfully.Miss Americana stared back for a few seconds, still perched imperiously upon their table. Then, as she realized what they were all thinking, her jaw dropped."No," she whispered. "No, no, No!" Reaching up she folded her hands over her giant breasts, which given the quantity of her flesh on display, did little to reduce the quality of the goods for them to consider when evaluating potential tributes. "How, how can you even consider that?!" she hissed. "Aren't you Puritans?! A Godly people?!"Reverend Brewster shook his head."We are," he affirmed. "But, woman, even God must recognize a lost cause at some point. Verily, I see from your attire that you have already committed adultery no less than four times!"Lifting his hand, he pointed to various parts of Miss Americana's body. Upon her tiara and upon her belt was emblazoned a bright red A. Her red gloves also each had a large blue A upon them."I know well the meaning of the scarlet A's," Reverend Brewster said. "The azure ones I am not familiar with, perhaps they mean you only soiled your mouth or your posterior entrance? But regardless, woman, I am a man of God, but at some point surely one does have to ask, is even the Good Lord Himself going to give the tiniest of shits about just a few more?"Looking down, Miss Americana gasped as she stared at the bright red A upon her belt, and the blue ones upon her gloves, and finally remembered her Hawthorne.'Great Justice! Why didn't I pay more attention in high school lit class?' she thought, marking the first time in all of recorded history that this has occurred.But then she looked back up, and saw that all the Pilgrims were nodding in agreement with their spiritual leader. She swallowed.Suddenly, a sound came over her microphone. "You made the choice to go back into the past," Professor Whirter chided her. He could not quite keep the relish out of his voice, to see the arrogant heroine hoisted upon her own scantily-clad petard. "It is your duty now to make sure history goes forward, no matter what that takes!" He cut the feed again.Americana gasped. But then, squirming before the staring Pilgrims, she bowed her head and then slowly nodded."Very well," she said. "If it is what must happen, then so be it."At this, one of the few surviving female Pilgrims could remain properly silent no longer."Hey!" she snapped, from where she stood in the door of her roughly-built house, an apron over her simple dress and her hands soiled with flour from her long labors to prepare the day's feast. "You might fool them," she said, nodding at the men, "but you can't fool me. Given how you just danced in front of my husband, and that after all this time you still wear that harem attire with relish, don't pretend you don't want every cock you can take you thrice-damned Jezebel!"At this, Miss Americana gasped in shock. But she did not get a chance to respond, for around her the men had already launched into preparing their response, it had to be sent swiftly, before the Native column could get too far. With haste, a runner was sent, vanishing into the woods.In due time, a large party of Native Americans emerged from the forest and began to approach. In the meantime, Miss Americana had gotten down off the table, and now stood under guard nearby, beside and in front of the table of the elders. Miss Americana gulped in trepidation when she saw their numbers, there may have been forty or so adult male Pilgrims left, but there were more than twice that number of Indians approaching, all of them men.At the head of the column, there came a grand and muscular figure with burnished bronze skin, a large head-dress on his head. This, she knew from history and from the whispered comments of the Pilgrim elders just beside her, was Massasoit, the Great Sachem of the Wampanoag people. It was only the treaty he had signed with the now-late Governor Carver, and its attendant protection from raiding and repeated deliveries of food, that had enabled the meager settlement around her to survive at all. At his side walked another Native man in a mixture of native and Pilgrim garb, from more comments among the elders Americana discerned that this was Tisquantum, better known to most white schoolchildren as 'Squanto', the Pilgrims' tutor and interpreter. Although he normally lived amongst the Pilgrims, he had gone off to help escort Massasoit in for this very important meeting.They were also, she could not help but notice, much more buff and handsome than she expected. As she gazed upon them, a strange tingle ran up and down between her legs, accompanied by a sudden and mysterious abundance of fluids.Behind Massasoit came a column of nearly a hundred Wampanoag warriors; a few came armed, but most were instead carrying great baskets filled with food. Turkeys; fish; pumpkins; maize; squash and cranberries, all in enormous quantity. Five recently felled deer were also carried, each on the shoulders to two strapping Wampanoag hunters. The Pilgrims' own supplies were very meager, more so than they would even admit to in the historical record, and Miss Americana realized that without the Indians' food the First Thanksgiving Feast would instead be replaced by a Great Starvation, and the probable extinction of the Plymouth colony.However, although they had come back, the Native American party remained suspicious. The majority of the column stopped just short of the entrance to the colony, and only Massasoit, Squanto, and a small honor guard of strapping warriors came forward to meet the Elders at their table."Greetings, Squanto," Governor Bradford said, standing. "And holy Greetings to the great king Massasoit, may the blessings of our God be upon him.""Greetings, Governor," Squanto replied. He bowed slightly, and gestured to his muscular boss beside him. "But the Great Sachem's mind is not rested. This one," he said, nodding towards Miss Americana, "and her, impressive, proportions, caused him some distress, that perhaps he had been lied to. I understand this is not the case?"Behind him, one by one, each of the native warriors was leaning out and gaping at Miss Americana in awe. In all their days and travels, they had never seen breasts nearly as enormous as hers, nor a figure quite so bountifully and visibly fertile."Please express our deep apologies for the misunderstanding to the Sachem," Governor Bradford replied. "This woman," he said, gesturing toward where Miss Americana stood chained, "is not a member of our community. We desired to give him a gift worthy of his own generosity, but as you know we have no food to spare. So we," He glanced at the two Pilgrims who had captured Americana, and still held her leash. "Obtained her," he decided to say at last, "so that we could have an appropriate present to reward him for his magnanimity."Squanto turned to Massasoit, and they shared a brief conversation in the Wampanoag tongue, which Americana could not understand, and, she gathered from their nervous squirming, the Pilgrims mostly could not either. Then Squanto turned back to them."I see," he said. He eyed Miss Americana up and down. "The Great Sachem wants to know, exactly what is the nature of this, gift?"Sitting near and behind her, Reverend Brewster looked up at Miss Americana's staggering curves."You reply to that one, Scarlet-Lettered One," he told her. "From what we have seen of your instincts with that body, you should not need words to do so,"Miss Americana blushed deeply. Then, she nodded. Before Massasoit, Squanto, the Elders, the Wampanoag warriors, and the entire Pilgrim community, she walked over to stand before the end of the Pilgrims' great main table. This faced back, directly towards where Massasoit stood, some few meters behind her. Reaching up, blush deepening on her cheeks, she put her hand between her breasts, and with a flick undid her golden star-shaped bra catch. Her huge bra, nevertheless under vast strain to contain her super-human rack, exploded apart, allowing her gigantic breasts to spill forth to jostle and sway before everyone."God, damn!" she heard Myles Standish say. Reverend Brewster, sitting right beside him, was himself too occupied by the dropping of his own jaw to call him on his blasphemy. Even the Pilgrim women appeared breathless at the sight of Americana's giant udders. A great hew and shout rose among the Wampanoag column, pointing and gaping in disbelief. Even Massasoit himself, who to this point had stood tall and still like a bronzed god among lesser men, seemed to be affected. Though he said nothing, as Miss Americana's huge breasts shook before him his eyebrows went up, and Miss Americana herself swallowed, as she noticed what seemed to be the stirrings of something disturbingly large in the front of his deerskin trousers.But she could not stop. Shrugging out of her bra, she turned and laid it on the table before her. Then, reaching back, she slipped her gloved hands into the hips of her panties. She squirmed for a few seconds, as she felt the eyes of every single member of both nations staring at her squirming ass. Then slowly, bending low, she guided her panties up and over her ass, and down her thighs. She slipped one boot out of them, then the other, and left them in a tiny colorful heap between her feet.Then, her lips trembling and her cheeks bright pink under her mask, Miss Americana made the one signal a woman could make that, regardless of language and culture, no man could mis-understand. Bending over, she put both hands on the table. Her voluptuous ass lifted up high and wiggling behind her, she slowly slid her boots wider and wider apart, until her long and mighty legs were spread at a nearly forty-five degree angle to either side. Then lifting her head, she looked back over her shoulder, her blue eyes blinking moistly. Her dripping cunt was pointed straight back at Massasoit, gaping slightly to show her tender inner lips between the thicker outer ones, in clear and open invitation.Despite the clarity of Americana's signal, Massasoit still turned and, eyes never leaving the glistening cunt being offered to him, had a brief conversation with Squanto."The Great Sachem wishes to know," Squanto said, afterwards, "whether this gift is for him alone, or for his people as well."The Pilgrim Elders looked at each other.Reverend Brewster shrugged. "As I said," he stated, "at a certain point one must ask, does God care about a few more?"Governor Bradford nodded. "Anyone and everyone can partake of our gift," he said, "as the Chief wishes.""Oh, Great Justice!" Miss Americana whimpered, her eyes blinking in horror. But, knowing she had no choice if she was not to change history, although they trembled, her mighty thighs remained spread wide, and her hands, though they shivered, remained planted flat to the table.Squanto and Massasoit shared another brief conversation. It concluded with what appeared to be a magnanimous gesture by Massasoit, towards Americana's waiting and naked cunt. Squanto nodded, and then stepped forward."The Great Sachem accepts your generous gift," he said. Reaching up, he began to take off his shirt. "As he knows your laws would not permit you to do so yourselves, he wishes that I test her first, to make sure she is worthy of him. He will have her after me, and then the rest of the tribe."Miss Americana let out a tiny whimper of disbelief, as she heard this. But, strangely, the news seemed to have another effect on her cunt, where, between her muscular thighs, her naked slit suddenly seemed to drip with even more gooey juices than before.Unable to watch her fate coming, Americana turned her head away and instead looked down the table. This did little to lessen her humiliation, however, as she now just got to watch the entire Pilgrim community staring up at her, as she stood ready to secure their futures with the much-questioned purity of her gaping cunt.Standing behind her, Squanto took off his pants. This caused an immediate stir among the Pilgrim women."By the Lord," the woman who had called out Miss Americana said, her eyes going hypocritically wide.Another shook her head slowly. "I, I had, suspected," she said. "But I did not realize the true extent of the native's, gifts."Fortunately for the Pilgrim women, their men were too busy staring at the naked Queen of Justice to see where their wives' attention was directed. Meanwhile Miss Americana, her face down and looking at the table, was the only one who could not see what was coming up behind her. So she didn't have any clue what she was in for, until Squanto's dark hands appeared upon her pale curvy hips, and he swung himself up into position."Oh!" Miss Americana gasped, her blue eyes spreading wide, as she realized that, with both of his hands accounted for on her flesh, what she was feeling nuzzling up against her drooling cunt could not be a fist or arm, as she in the initial moment of contact suspected. She gasped deeply, her eyes spreading even wider, as his tip started to part her. She shook her head."Oh, oh my God," she said, as her cunt lips spread wider and wider around the incoming bronze cock-head, until they quivered to either side of the crest of his uncircumcised cock. "I, I didn't know," she whimpered, "that, that Squanto was so hung!" Her voice rose up to a squeal, as he thrust deep inside her."Is," the native interpreter calmly corrected the English-woman on her grammar. Then, taking a tight grip on her hips, he began to slam his massive cock vigorously back and forth inside her drooling slit.Miss Americana shook and squealed, as he nailed her. All around her, the Pilgrim men and women stared in awe. But Americana was not the only one to be affected by the experience for long."Oh, yes!" Squanto announced. Sliding his eager dark hands around from her hips he cupped her enormous breasts from below, and squeezed them, as he continued to nail her gaping cunt with bountiful vigor and abandon. "This, strange woman, is indeed, worthy of the Sachem!" he said. He rolled his head and gasped in awe. "My goodness! She is so tight!" he marveled, squeezing her enormous hooters and stroking their erect tips with his fingers. "And yet, there is an ocean inside her hips!""Very good!" Massasoit announced, revealing that, though he naturally depended on his interpreter for complex and important negotiations, he had had the foresight to learn some rudimentary English himself. He removed his pants and then his loincloth, which caused another stir among the Pilgrim women, as it was revealed that Squanto was not a unique outlier among his people.To be continued in part 2, By Mark V Sharp for Literotica.

How do you know if your cardio is doing more harm than good?In this weekly live Q&A in Tom The Trainer's Tribe, I break down the science of fatigue and how different forms of cardio impact your results. Whether you're on the elliptical, treadmill, or StairMaster, I explain the perfect balance between stimulus and fatigue to ensure you're burning fat while preserving muscle.Discover when to switch from high-intensity interval training (HIIT) to steady-state cardio and learn why simply walking more might be your most powerful tool for fat loss.If you've hit a plateau or struggle with exhaustion after workouts, this episode is packed with practical advice that will help you adjust your routine for better performance.Join Tom The Trainer's Tribe and message me the word “coaching” on Instagram at Tomthetrainerfitness or Facebook at Tom Trainer Mouland!Have the best day ever!Tom The Trainer

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster watch 90s cartoon Mummies Alive and fondly remember the Mummymania trend that was definitely a thing. Plus, Bill Clinton steals a pyramid and the intricacies of having a magic staff that can suck you off. Want to request a future bonus episode? Donate to our Buy Me a Coffee page https://www.buymeacoffee.com/tvtuners ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, on the Fitness + Technology podcast, host Bryan O'Rourke welcomes Dr. Cedric Bryant to the show. As Chief Executive Officer & President, Dr. Cedric Bryant leads ACE with a focus on science-backed education to support health and exercise professionals, utilizing emerging fitness technology, championing inclusivity and diversity, and sharing quality information to help all people develop long-term healthy habits and keep people moving. Today, Dr. Cedrick joins Bryan to talk about his background, his views on the changes in professional education and training, and what he envisions happening in the future. One Powerful Quote: 14:43: “What gets measured is what gets the attention.” 4-10 Bullet Points (w/ timestamps) - Highlighting key topics discussed: 2:15: Bryan opens the interview by highlighting Cedrick's background and his upbringing into the industry.  8:27: Cedrick shares his views on the change in professional education and training.  13:06: Cedrick extrapolates on the friction in these systematic changes. 15:33: Bryan asks Cedrick what ACE is doing organizationally to address these changes. 17:26: Bryan and Cedrick talk about health and wealth preservation.   21:14: Bryan inquires with Cedrick about what he envisions happening in the industry. 23:45: Dr. Cedrick imparts his pearls of wisdom to the listeners. Bullet List of Resources: https://www.acefitness.org/ Guest Contact Information: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cedricbryant/ https://www.bryankorourke.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryankorourke/ http://www.fittechcouncil.org/ https://www.youtube.com/user/bko61163

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster remember their old friend, Karate Kevin before diving into 90s OVA Cyber City Oedo 808. Together, they discuss the perils of building the world's biggest skyscraper, how to battle psychic cyborgs and the best ways to become immortal. Want to request a future bonus episode? Donate to our Buy Me a Coffee page https://www.buymeacoffee.com/tvtuners ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster watch the befuddling 90s comedy Diggstown and wonder how they managed to create a con film with so little actual conning going on. Want to request a future bonus episode? Donate to our Buy Me a Coffee page https://www.buymeacoffee.com/tvtuners ★ Support this podcast ★

A heroine goes back in time to a sticky-fingered situation.By Mark V Sharp, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.The current reigning Miss Americana is a college student who forces Professor Whirter to send her back to the First Thanksgiving; so she can help Flag Girl with a history assignment. She gets led before the elders of the colony, only for a distraught messenger to run in reporting that the Wampanoag party carrying the majority of the food has turned back. Having spotted Miss Americana, they have concluded the colony cannot be so hard up for food as they claim if it contains one as well-endowed as she is.In order to restore history, Miss Americana presents herself as a peace offering to restore Massasoit’s favor. She ends up being a feature of the event; from her place at the end of the long Thanksgiving table. For the entire duration of the famous feast, a seemingly endless succession of Wampanoag warriors indulge in her charms.Finally, after everyone has had their fill, she is left a sprawled devastated wreck upon the gutted feasting table. Alone at last, she gets warped safely back to the present, only to discover that her misadventure will have lasting and historic consequences for the interior of her womb.Miss Americana goes to the First Thanksgiving“Flag Girl has a school project due, Dr. Whirter,” Miss Americana said. “She’s flunking, so we need a guaranteed A. So I want you to send me back in time. If we can learn the true history of the First Thanksgiving, then with the report I’ll help her write there’s no way she can fail.”Professor Whirter shook his head. “Miss Americana!” he gasped. “The time machine is not a toy! You cannot use it for such purposes!”The mighty superheroine stood before him in his lab. She was resplendent in her defiant costume, which consisted chiefly of a patriotic American Flag bikini. A golden belt, the source of her powers, lay cinched tight about her buxom hips, emblazoned with a bright red A upon its buckle, at the center of her broad flat belly. She wore a star-spangled mask upon her face to protect her secret identity, with a matching A on her forehead. Two red gloves with blue A’s on the backs of her hands, and gleaming red boots, completed her ensemble.Her sidekick Flag Girl stood by her side, in a very similar but less ostentatious version of the same costume, and at least had the decency to blush. Behind Americana’s sculpted ass, the platform of the Professor’s newly-built time machine waited.Miss Americana’s expression darkened behind her mask. She was a proud woman and not used to being denied. “Professor,” she growled, “my, I mean, my good friend Brenda Wade’s money pays for this place. Do you really want me to put in a word with her about how, diligently, you use your funding?”The Professor’s blood ran cold, and he caved immediately. “Alright, alright,” he said, bowing his head. Obediently, he went to the control panel, and started twisting dials. Flag Girl followed, watching curiously over his shoulder. Smiling smugly at her easy victory, Miss Americana walked up onto the round steel platform of the time machine.“Ready?” Professor Whirter asked, as the machine started to hum.“Ready!” Miss Americana announced, proudly. A crackle of energy sounded, and a glow of light enveloped her. When it faded, she was gone.The wind stirred the woods near the Plymouth colony. It was autumn, and the leaves were red and orange and brown. There was a crackle of energy and a flash of light, and Miss Americana appeared. Sauntering up to the edge of the tree-line, she pulled down a branch and smirked.Before her, across a large tilled field covered in the remains of harvested wheat, lay a hill. Atop the hill she saw a cluster of rough-hewn houses overlooking a rocky harbor. A second adjacent hill nearby held a simple earthwork with a few cannon emplaced upon it.“Perfect,” she cooed.There came a rustling in the brush behind her. Two men emerged, one tall and one short. They wore black woolen clothing and broad-brimmed black hats. Each brandished a long flintlock musket.“Told you I heard a noise,” the tall Pilgrim said to the short one.“Heaven defend us!” the short Pilgrim said, eyes going wide, as he saw what had caused it.The two Pilgrims gaped in disbelief for several seconds at the stacked scantily-clad beauty that stood before them.“Hello,” Miss Americana said. She started to move towards them.But at that instant, the short Pilgrim snapped his musket up and pointed it at her. “Stay back, witch!” he said.His companion seemed less sure. “Are you sure she’s a witch?” he asked.“She’s a strange woman hanging out in the woods, what else could she be?” the short one asked.“Hmm,” the tall one said. He looked Americana up and down again. “Well, she has certainly cast a spell on my phallus so,”He suddenly snapped his musket up, and cocked back the flint. “Get on your knees and put your hands up, witch!” he said. “No speaking hexes, either!”Miss Americana sighed, and shook her head, as she looked down the barrels of the two Pilgrims’ long guns. Given the protections of her belt, she had absolutely nothing to fear from bullets. “You boys are making a big mistake,” she cooed at them, as she cracked her knuckles and prepared to use her superhuman might to subdue them. “Fortunately I can correct it,”But suddenly, a noise crackled in the earpiece of the communication system embedded in her earrings and choker.“Miss Americana!” Professor Whirter’s voice said, rising and falling from time distortion as he spoke to her from the viewing panel of his time machine. “You cannot harm anyone in this period!” he said. “Given their lack of medical care and poor nutrition, one punch could be deadly. And each of these men may have tens of thousands of descendants in our modern time, one of which just might be you! If you lay a finger upon them you might well erase yourself from history!”“Oh,” Miss Americana gulped. “Right,”She looked back and forth between the two men and their guns. She swallowed, but realized she truly had no choice. Getting summoned back immediately, in front of the two witnesses, could hardly disturb the time line much less.“On second thought,” she said, “I surrender.”She went down onto her knees before them, and put her hands up.The taller Pilgrim kept his gun on her, while the shorter Pilgrim came forward. He had a set of iron manacles he had brought on his patrol, in case they should happen upon a hostile person spying on the colony and have a chance to take him prisoner. While his partner covered him, he dragged Americana’s hands behind her curvy back and manacled them above her ass, having great difficulty keeping his eyes off the panty-swelling contours of her posterior as he did so. Then he put an iron collar on her, to which was attached a length of chain.“There,” he said, backing up. “The cold iron should keep the witch from casting any hexes upon us.”“If you say so,” Miss Americana said, standing back up. Due to her superior nutrition and super-human genetics, she stood a head taller than even the taller of them. The shorter Pilgrim’s head was level with her enormous breasts, a fact that despite his literally puritanical nature he seemed to find immensely affecting. “Now, please take me to your leaders so that I may work this misunderstanding out.”Eyeing her up and down, the taller one turned to his partner. “Let’s take her to the Elders,” he said. “Between them, the Reverend, the Governor, and Captain Standish will know what to do with her.”Miss Americana rolled her eyes. “That’s what I said, you oafs!” she said, the chains clanking as she shifted her bikini-clad body impatiently.Leading her by her new chain, the two Pilgrims marched Miss Americana out of the woods and up the hill towards the colony. As she approached, Miss Americana saw that a long table had been set up in the middle of the ring of houses. Although there were seats for over a hundred, only about forty men sat at it, and despite what should have been the impending festivities they looked nervous and emaciated. A short distance away upon the hill she noticed a chillingly extensive grave-yard, with nearly as many shallow and hastily-dug graves as she saw living people in the colony.A little ways away from the main table, a second table had been set up for the Elders of the community, though here too there were several empty seats. They sat only on one side, facing towards the rest of the community. Miss Americana was brought to stand before the Elders, while the rest of the male colonists gaped at her in disbelief from where they sat. Several women and children rushed out to the doors and windows of the houses where they were working preparing the day’s large meal and also stared in wonder at the strange woman being led through their midst, although their faces twisted in jealousy when they saw how their men were gaping at her.As she was marched forth, Miss Americana wracked her brain desperately, for once, for a non-violent solution to her problems. ‘Who would wear a bikini during this time period?’ she thought to herself. Then suddenly, with a gasp, she got an idea.“We caught this strangely-attired and exotically-shaped one snooping about in the north-west forest,” the tall pilgrim said.“We think she’s a witch,” the short one said. “Shall we put her under some rocks and crush her to find out?”Stepping forward dramatically, Miss Americana lifted her head high and addressed the elders of the colony directly.“I am not a witch!” she boldly declared. “I am an Englishwoman, like you! But I was captured by the Turks and kept in their harem. I escaped from the sultan’s palace, but was blown by a storm all the way to this shore!”'That ought to fool these simpletons,’ she thought to herself smugly, as she watched them process this.Before her, at the center of the table, the leading men of the colony sat, pondering her response. She vaguely recognized them, from their historical portraits: William Brewster, the chief spiritual leader of the colony; Myles Standish, the captain of the colonial militia; and William Bradford, the colony’s current Governor. They each stroked their beards, considering her.“Hmm,” Captain Standish said. “If what you say is true, and you are no witch, then you should be prepared to prove it so,” he said.“Prove it? And how should I do that?” Miss Americana asked, indignantly.“If you were a harem girl,” Captain Standish said, “then you know how to dance like one. So, show us.” He turned his head to the man next to him. “Do you permit this Reverend?” he asked.Beside him, Reverend Brewster shifted uncomfortably, as he allowed his holy gaze to sweep up and down Americana’s flesh. But then he nodded. “If it is necessary to prove whether she is in league with the Devil, then, as God wills it,” he said.Americana gasped. “H-how can you ask me that?” she said.Governor Bradford looked at the other two, then back to her, and smirked. “The Captain has given his orders and the Reverend has given his permission,” he told her. “So if your story is true then prove it.” He nodded up to the large table. “You can do it on there, if you would be so kind.”Miss Americana gasped. But then she lifted her head and nodded, haughtily.“Very well,” she said. She held up her wrists behind her back, the manacles clanking on them. “But I cannot dance in these!” she said.At a quickly-supplied nod from Captain Standish in his role as commander of the militia, the short pilgrim approached and unlocked Americana’s manacles. But they left the collar on her. Her chain still held at the far end by the tall pilgrim like a long leash, Miss Americana turned and, with as much grace and dignity as she could muster, marched up to the long table and ascended to stand atop it. Around her the common Pilgrims, male and female alike, gaped up in awe as she came to tower against the sky above them.Standing tall before the whole colony, Miss Americana lifted up her arms, and arched her body gracefully. “Prepare to see my skill, and know I speak the truth!” she said.And with that, she began to dance.“H-holy shit,” one Pilgrim gasped, gaping upwards in awe.“That’s blasphemy,” a second beside him murmured. “Also, god fucking damn,” he added, staring up as well.None of them had ever seen anything like it. Miss Americana did her best to imitate how she had seen strippers or slutty girls in night clubs dance, whenever she had ventured into those places as part of her crime-fighting duties. Lifting her arms up she shook her enormous cans in broad circles, making them slosh and bounce dramatically within the confines of her gargantuan yet overloaded bra. Going down low, she bounced her ass just above the table, while presenting an excellent view of her panty-clad crotch between her wide-spread thighs. Twirling about, she shook and shimmied her ass for them, showing off the grace and flexibility of her muscular legs at the same time she shook the contours of her enormous bubble-ass.Midway through her performance, there came a loud crackling, then a pilgrim suddenly came up holding a large wooden bowl.“Verily, my friends,” he said, “I was so distracted by the witch’s performance, I dropped the last of that 'maize’ stuff into the fire and, look what happened!”His large bowl was filled to the brim with popcorn. Passing it around, the Pilgrims munched eagerly as they watched Miss Americana, having become lost in her own perfectionism, continue to dance and dance seductively before them.A little later, munching a little popcorn of his own, Myles Standish leaned over and put his lips near Reverend Brewster’s ear.“Did the Lord really condone this, William?” he asked, chuckling softly.Reverend Brewster shook his head. “After so many deaths the colony certainly needed a boost of morale,” he said. “Clearly God sent us one. Also, shut up.” Taking some of Captain Standish’s popcorn, he munched on it as well as he watched Miss Americana, bent low at the waist, shake and shimmy her enormous breasts in such a way that he could like right down the tremendous cleavage between them.Suddenly, a distraught sentry came running into the midst of the colony, stopping only briefly, to gape at what he had been missing in wonder.“Governor Bradford, Governor Bradford!” he moaned, his eyes still darting over repeatedly to take in the dancing Queen of Justice in awe. “The Indians! They are not coming! They are turning back, and taking their food with them!”At this a great groan rose from the Pilgrims, even as they continued to stare at Miss Americana’s wiggling and grinding bubble-ass.“What?!” Governor Bradford gasped. “But our stores are almost depleted! Without that food, we’ll starve! Why have they turned back?!”The sentry nodded up to Miss Americana.“When the Sachem’s party came out of the woods, they saw the huge teats and fat ass on that one,” he said. “The Sachem said that if we had a woman of such bountiful proportions, we surely could not be starving, and had deceived him as to our lack of food,”At this, Miss Americana stopped dancing and gasped down in shock.“My ass is not fat!” she hissed, her face quivering in fury behind her mask. Reaching back she slapped her gloved hand against her ass repeatedly, turning so every member of the community got to see, showing off that though it was awesomely projecting and generously curved, every inch of her enormous bubble-ass was in fact taut and silky muscle. “Two hours a day on a Stairmaster doesn’t lead to fat!” she hissed.Reverend Brewster turned to Captain Standish, their veteran soldier and military expert. “What’s a stair-masterer?” he asked. “Some sort of Turkish siege engine?”Myles shrugged, puzzled.“Never mind that!” Governor Bradford said. He stood up, getting the community’s attention off Miss Americana. “This is a disaster! We have to find some way to make amends. If Massasoit breaks the treaty and stops giving us supplies, we are done for!”“Hmm,” said Captain Standish. “What we need is some sort of tribute to appease him, a peace offering, if you will.”“But the whole point is we have no food!” Reverend Brewster pointed out. “What sort of peace offering could we give?”“We could give them our guns, or the cannon,” Governor Bradford said.“And surrender our only military leverage?” Captain Standish scoffed. “I would sooner dump them in the sea!”“The Indians are yet heathens,” Reverend Brewster pointed out. “They do not follow Christian virtues. So what sort of 'peace offering’ might they be interested in?”For a short time, the Pilgrims looked at one another. Then, slowly, all eyes turned up to look at Miss Americana, and stared at her spectacular and well-displayed body meaningfully.Miss Americana stared back for a few seconds, still perched imperiously upon their table. Then, as she realized what they were all thinking, her jaw dropped.“No,” she whispered. “No, no, No!” Reaching up she folded her hands over her giant breasts, which given the quantity of her flesh on display, did little to reduce the quality of the goods for them to consider when evaluating potential tributes. “How, how can you even consider that?!” she hissed. “Aren’t you Puritans?! A Godly people?!”Reverend Brewster shook his head.“We are,” he affirmed. “But, woman, even God must recognize a lost cause at some point. Verily, I see from your attire that you have already committed adultery no less than four times!”Lifting his hand, he pointed to various parts of Miss Americana’s body. Upon her tiara and upon her belt was emblazoned a bright red A. Her red gloves also each had a large blue A upon them.“I know well the meaning of the scarlet A’s,” Reverend Brewster said. “The azure ones I am not familiar with, perhaps they mean you only soiled your mouth or your posterior entrance? But regardless, woman, I am a man of God, but at some point surely one does have to ask, is even the Good Lord Himself going to give the tiniest of shits about just a few more?”Looking down, Miss Americana gasped as she stared at the bright red A upon her belt, and the blue ones

A heroine goes back in time to a sticky-fingered situation.By Mark V Sharp, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.The current reigning Miss Americana is a college student who forces Professor Whirter to send her back to the First Thanksgiving; so she can help Flag Girl with a history assignment. She gets led before the elders of the colony, only for a distraught messenger to run in reporting that the Wampanoag party carrying the majority of the food has turned back. Having spotted Miss Americana, they have concluded the colony cannot be so hard up for food as they claim if it contains one as well-endowed as she is.In order to restore history, Miss Americana presents herself as a peace offering to restore Massasoit’s favor. She ends up being a feature of the event; from her place at the end of the long Thanksgiving table. For the entire duration of the famous feast, a seemingly endless succession of Wampanoag warriors indulge in her charms.Finally, after everyone has had their fill, she is left a sprawled devastated wreck upon the gutted feasting table. Alone at last, she gets warped safely back to the present, only to discover that her misadventure will have lasting and historic consequences for the interior of her womb.Miss Americana goes to the First Thanksgiving“Flag Girl has a school project due, Dr. Whirter,” Miss Americana said. “She’s flunking, so we need a guaranteed A. So I want you to send me back in time. If we can learn the true history of the First Thanksgiving, then with the report I’ll help her write there’s no way she can fail.”Professor Whirter shook his head. “Miss Americana!” he gasped. “The time machine is not a toy! You cannot use it for such purposes!”The mighty superheroine stood before him in his lab. She was resplendent in her defiant costume, which consisted chiefly of a patriotic American Flag bikini. A golden belt, the source of her powers, lay cinched tight about her buxom hips, emblazoned with a bright red A upon its buckle, at the center of her broad flat belly. She wore a star-spangled mask upon her face to protect her secret identity, with a matching A on her forehead. Two red gloves with blue A’s on the backs of her hands, and gleaming red boots, completed her ensemble.Her sidekick Flag Girl stood by her side, in a very similar but less ostentatious version of the same costume, and at least had the decency to blush. Behind Americana’s sculpted ass, the platform of the Professor’s newly-built time machine waited.Miss Americana’s expression darkened behind her mask. She was a proud woman and not used to being denied. “Professor,” she growled, “my, I mean, my good friend Brenda Wade’s money pays for this place. Do you really want me to put in a word with her about how, diligently, you use your funding?”The Professor’s blood ran cold, and he caved immediately. “Alright, alright,” he said, bowing his head. Obediently, he went to the control panel, and started twisting dials. Flag Girl followed, watching curiously over his shoulder. Smiling smugly at her easy victory, Miss Americana walked up onto the round steel platform of the time machine.“Ready?” Professor Whirter asked, as the machine started to hum.“Ready!” Miss Americana announced, proudly. A crackle of energy sounded, and a glow of light enveloped her. When it faded, she was gone.The wind stirred the woods near the Plymouth colony. It was autumn, and the leaves were red and orange and brown. There was a crackle of energy and a flash of light, and Miss Americana appeared. Sauntering up to the edge of the tree-line, she pulled down a branch and smirked.Before her, across a large tilled field covered in the remains of harvested wheat, lay a hill. Atop the hill she saw a cluster of rough-hewn houses overlooking a rocky harbor. A second adjacent hill nearby held a simple earthwork with a few cannon emplaced upon it.“Perfect,” she cooed.There came a rustling in the brush behind her. Two men emerged, one tall and one short. They wore black woolen clothing and broad-brimmed black hats. Each brandished a long flintlock musket.“Told you I heard a noise,” the tall Pilgrim said to the short one.“Heaven defend us!” the short Pilgrim said, eyes going wide, as he saw what had caused it.The two Pilgrims gaped in disbelief for several seconds at the stacked scantily-clad beauty that stood before them.“Hello,” Miss Americana said. She started to move towards them.But at that instant, the short Pilgrim snapped his musket up and pointed it at her. “Stay back, witch!” he said.His companion seemed less sure. “Are you sure she’s a witch?” he asked.“She’s a strange woman hanging out in the woods, what else could she be?” the short one asked.“Hmm,” the tall one said. He looked Americana up and down again. “Well, she has certainly cast a spell on my phallus so,”He suddenly snapped his musket up, and cocked back the flint. “Get on your knees and put your hands up, witch!” he said. “No speaking hexes, either!”Miss Americana sighed, and shook her head, as she looked down the barrels of the two Pilgrims’ long guns. Given the protections of her belt, she had absolutely nothing to fear from bullets. “You boys are making a big mistake,” she cooed at them, as she cracked her knuckles and prepared to use her superhuman might to subdue them. “Fortunately I can correct it,”But suddenly, a noise crackled in the earpiece of the communication system embedded in her earrings and choker.“Miss Americana!” Professor Whirter’s voice said, rising and falling from time distortion as he spoke to her from the viewing panel of his time machine. “You cannot harm anyone in this period!” he said. “Given their lack of medical care and poor nutrition, one punch could be deadly. And each of these men may have tens of thousands of descendants in our modern time, one of which just might be you! If you lay a finger upon them you might well erase yourself from history!”“Oh,” Miss Americana gulped. “Right,”She looked back and forth between the two men and their guns. She swallowed, but realized she truly had no choice. Getting summoned back immediately, in front of the two witnesses, could hardly disturb the time line much less.“On second thought,” she said, “I surrender.”She went down onto her knees before them, and put her hands up.The taller Pilgrim kept his gun on her, while the shorter Pilgrim came forward. He had a set of iron manacles he had brought on his patrol, in case they should happen upon a hostile person spying on the colony and have a chance to take him prisoner. While his partner covered him, he dragged Americana’s hands behind her curvy back and manacled them above her ass, having great difficulty keeping his eyes off the panty-swelling contours of her posterior as he did so. Then he put an iron collar on her, to which was attached a length of chain.“There,” he said, backing up. “The cold iron should keep the witch from casting any hexes upon us.”“If you say so,” Miss Americana said, standing back up. Due to her superior nutrition and super-human genetics, she stood a head taller than even the taller of them. The shorter Pilgrim’s head was level with her enormous breasts, a fact that despite his literally puritanical nature he seemed to find immensely affecting. “Now, please take me to your leaders so that I may work this misunderstanding out.”Eyeing her up and down, the taller one turned to his partner. “Let’s take her to the Elders,” he said. “Between them, the Reverend, the Governor, and Captain Standish will know what to do with her.”Miss Americana rolled her eyes. “That’s what I said, you oafs!” she said, the chains clanking as she shifted her bikini-clad body impatiently.Leading her by her new chain, the two Pilgrims marched Miss Americana out of the woods and up the hill towards the colony. As she approached, Miss Americana saw that a long table had been set up in the middle of the ring of houses. Although there were seats for over a hundred, only about forty men sat at it, and despite what should have been the impending festivities they looked nervous and emaciated. A short distance away upon the hill she noticed a chillingly extensive grave-yard, with nearly as many shallow and hastily-dug graves as she saw living people in the colony.A little ways away from the main table, a second table had been set up for the Elders of the community, though here too there were several empty seats. They sat only on one side, facing towards the rest of the community. Miss Americana was brought to stand before the Elders, while the rest of the male colonists gaped at her in disbelief from where they sat. Several women and children rushed out to the doors and windows of the houses where they were working preparing the day’s large meal and also stared in wonder at the strange woman being led through their midst, although their faces twisted in jealousy when they saw how their men were gaping at her.As she was marched forth, Miss Americana wracked her brain desperately, for once, for a non-violent solution to her problems. ‘Who would wear a bikini during this time period?’ she thought to herself. Then suddenly, with a gasp, she got an idea.“We caught this strangely-attired and exotically-shaped one snooping about in the north-west forest,” the tall pilgrim said.“We think she’s a witch,” the short one said. “Shall we put her under some rocks and crush her to find out?”Stepping forward dramatically, Miss Americana lifted her head high and addressed the elders of the colony directly.“I am not a witch!” she boldly declared. “I am an Englishwoman, like you! But I was captured by the Turks and kept in their harem. I escaped from the sultan’s palace, but was blown by a storm all the way to this shore!”'That ought to fool these simpletons,’ she thought to herself smugly, as she watched them process this.Before her, at the center of the table, the leading men of the colony sat, pondering her response. She vaguely recognized them, from their historical portraits: William Brewster, the chief spiritual leader of the colony; Myles Standish, the captain of the colonial militia; and William Bradford, the colony’s current Governor. They each stroked their beards, considering her.“Hmm,” Captain Standish said. “If what you say is true, and you are no witch, then you should be prepared to prove it so,” he said.“Prove it? And how should I do that?” Miss Americana asked, indignantly.“If you were a harem girl,” Captain Standish said, “then you know how to dance like one. So, show us.” He turned his head to the man next to him. “Do you permit this Reverend?” he asked.Beside him, Reverend Brewster shifted uncomfortably, as he allowed his holy gaze to sweep up and down Americana’s flesh. But then he nodded. “If it is necessary to prove whether she is in league with the Devil, then, as God wills it,” he said.Americana gasped. “H-how can you ask me that?” she said.Governor Bradford looked at the other two, then back to her, and smirked. “The Captain has given his orders and the Reverend has given his permission,” he told her. “So if your story is true then prove it.” He nodded up to the large table. “You can do it on there, if you would be so kind.”Miss Americana gasped. But then she lifted her head and nodded, haughtily.“Very well,” she said. She held up her wrists behind her back, the manacles clanking on them. “But I cannot dance in these!” she said.At a quickly-supplied nod from Captain Standish in his role as commander of the militia, the short pilgrim approached and unlocked Americana’s manacles. But they left the collar on her. Her chain still held at the far end by the tall pilgrim like a long leash, Miss Americana turned and, with as much grace and dignity as she could muster, marched up to the long table and ascended to stand atop it. Around her the common Pilgrims, male and female alike, gaped up in awe as she came to tower against the sky above them.Standing tall before the whole colony, Miss Americana lifted up her arms, and arched her body gracefully. “Prepare to see my skill, and know I speak the truth!” she said.And with that, she began to dance.“H-holy shit,” one Pilgrim gasped, gaping upwards in awe.“That’s blasphemy,” a second beside him murmured. “Also, god fucking damn,” he added, staring up as well.None of them had ever seen anything like it. Miss Americana did her best to imitate how she had seen strippers or slutty girls in night clubs dance, whenever she had ventured into those places as part of her crime-fighting duties. Lifting her arms up she shook her enormous cans in broad circles, making them slosh and bounce dramatically within the confines of her gargantuan yet overloaded bra. Going down low, she bounced her ass just above the table, while presenting an excellent view of her panty-clad crotch between her wide-spread thighs. Twirling about, she shook and shimmied her ass for them, showing off the grace and flexibility of her muscular legs at the same time she shook the contours of her enormous bubble-ass.Midway through her performance, there came a loud crackling, then a pilgrim suddenly came up holding a large wooden bowl.“Verily, my friends,” he said, “I was so distracted by the witch’s performance, I dropped the last of that 'maize’ stuff into the fire and, look what happened!”His large bowl was filled to the brim with popcorn. Passing it around, the Pilgrims munched eagerly as they watched Miss Americana, having become lost in her own perfectionism, continue to dance and dance seductively before them.A little later, munching a little popcorn of his own, Myles Standish leaned over and put his lips near Reverend Brewster’s ear.“Did the Lord really condone this, William?” he asked, chuckling softly.Reverend Brewster shook his head. “After so many deaths the colony certainly needed a boost of morale,” he said. “Clearly God sent us one. Also, shut up.” Taking some of Captain Standish’s popcorn, he munched on it as well as he watched Miss Americana, bent low at the waist, shake and shimmy her enormous breasts in such a way that he could like right down the tremendous cleavage between them.Suddenly, a distraught sentry came running into the midst of the colony, stopping only briefly, to gape at what he had been missing in wonder.“Governor Bradford, Governor Bradford!” he moaned, his eyes still darting over repeatedly to take in the dancing Queen of Justice in awe. “The Indians! They are not coming! They are turning back, and taking their food with them!”At this a great groan rose from the Pilgrims, even as they continued to stare at Miss Americana’s wiggling and grinding bubble-ass.“What?!” Governor Bradford gasped. “But our stores are almost depleted! Without that food, we’ll starve! Why have they turned back?!”The sentry nodded up to Miss Americana.“When the Sachem’s party came out of the woods, they saw the huge teats and fat ass on that one,” he said. “The Sachem said that if we had a woman of such bountiful proportions, we surely could not be starving, and had deceived him as to our lack of food,”At this, Miss Americana stopped dancing and gasped down in shock.“My ass is not fat!” she hissed, her face quivering in fury behind her mask. Reaching back she slapped her gloved hand against her ass repeatedly, turning so every member of the community got to see, showing off that though it was awesomely projecting and generously curved, every inch of her enormous bubble-ass was in fact taut and silky muscle. “Two hours a day on a Stairmaster doesn’t lead to fat!” she hissed.Reverend Brewster turned to Captain Standish, their veteran soldier and military expert. “What’s a stair-masterer?” he asked. “Some sort of Turkish siege engine?”Myles shrugged, puzzled.“Never mind that!” Governor Bradford said. He stood up, getting the community’s attention off Miss Americana. “This is a disaster! We have to find some way to make amends. If Massasoit breaks the treaty and stops giving us supplies, we are done for!”“Hmm,” said Captain Standish. “What we need is some sort of tribute to appease him, a peace offering, if you will.”“But the whole point is we have no food!” Reverend Brewster pointed out. “What sort of peace offering could we give?”“We could give them our guns, or the cannon,” Governor Bradford said.“And surrender our only military leverage?” Captain Standish scoffed. “I would sooner dump them in the sea!”“The Indians are yet heathens,” Reverend Brewster pointed out. “They do not follow Christian virtues. So what sort of 'peace offering’ might they be interested in?”For a short time, the Pilgrims looked at one another. Then, slowly, all eyes turned up to look at Miss Americana, and stared at her spectacular and well-displayed body meaningfully.Miss Americana stared back for a few seconds, still perched imperiously upon their table. Then, as she realized what they were all thinking, her jaw dropped.“No,” she whispered. “No, no, No!” Reaching up she folded her hands over her giant breasts, which given the quantity of her flesh on display, did little to reduce the quality of the goods for them to consider when evaluating potential tributes. “How, how can you even consider that?!” she hissed. “Aren’t you Puritans?! A Godly people?!”Reverend Brewster shook his head.“We are,” he affirmed. “But, woman, even God must recognize a lost cause at some point. Verily, I see from your attire that you have already committed adultery no less than four times!”Lifting his hand, he pointed to various parts of Miss Americana’s body. Upon her tiara and upon her belt was emblazoned a bright red A. Her red gloves also each had a large blue A upon them.“I know well the meaning of the scarlet A’s,” Reverend Brewster said. “The azure ones I am not familiar with, perhaps they mean you only soiled your mouth or your posterior entrance? But regardless, woman, I am a man of God, but at some point surely one does have to ask, is even the Good Lord Himself going to give the tiniest of shits about just a few more?”Looking down, Miss Americana gasped as she stared at the bright red A upon her belt, and the blue ones

We're back, babbyyyyy! A one week hiatus from the pod means so many stories to catch us up on. GLP with a birthday, stagette, AND a tarot card reading. Monty is back from his honeymoon in Portugal (aka, a Stairmaster of a country) with new duds. Darryl slept in a car in Alberta and is learning how to run a golf course. And finally Nick survived yet another Bullmoose event, and recaps 4 wild rounds of weather, reverse mulligans, and some golf.Thanks to Comedy Records, and please subscribe to our YouTube channel @ComedyRecords. Play well out there everyone.Follow us at:- @wheresthatbarcart- linkt.ree/wheresthatbarcart- @dpurcomic- @montymofoscott- @nickdurie- @ginalouisephillips- @comedyrecordsMusic by Devin BatesonThank you to Comedy Records

Carmen complains from a level of luxury. When the power goes out in his condominium in Cleveland he gets cranky then realizes he has to de-crank himself. He is spoiled and the power outage proves it. Carmen talks about soft carpet, air conditioning, fresh food and what would happen if it all went away. Somehow Carmen finds his way to start talking about under achieving as a good thing. Not going the gold, not reaching the stars. His recent experience on a Stairmaster at the gym made him think about moving and getting nowhere as the thing to strive for.

Check out our new sister channel/show called 20 Minute Travel! - https://www.youtube.com/@20minutetravel You can also listen to 20 Minute Travel as a podcast: Spotify Apple Podcasts Episode Description: As a reminder you can watch this show as well at: http://www.YouTube.com/milestomemories This week Fontainebleau continued to make news as doubts linger about the properties performance. We have seen many negative reviews from former employees, but the company insists the property is performing well. So well in fact that they spent a ton of money on land for an expansion. What could they possibly build? In other news, it has been four years since Las Vegas reopened from the pandemic and we take a look back. We also discuss a big ban from the Sphere, I-11 expanding in Las Vegas, Circa's big new screen, Plaza's one year anniversary, the Resorts World screen lawsuit and how Excalibur is sort of earning its nickname. Episode Guide: 0:00 - Vegas Strip Stairmaster! 1:05 - 4 year anniversary of the big Vegas reopening 2:27 - Margaritaville officially closed at Flamingo 3:08 - Update on Strat and Topgolf pools 4:15 - Circa is already upgrading their sports book screen 6:13 - Plaza celebrates 1 year anniversary of big expansion 8:10 - Dead rat at Excalibur 9:38 - Roller skating on the Vegas freeways 10:29 - Infamous & banned from the Sphere 11:27 - I-11 is expanding…sort of 12:50 - Resorts World/Wynn screen battle lawsuit 15:25 - Negative Fontainebleau employee reviews 16:55 - Fontainebleau out at Fontainebleau within a year? 18:17 - Fontainebleau expanding - Huge land expansion 19:27 - Deal of the century for the Fontainebleau land flip! About the Show: Each week tens of thousands of people tune into our MtM Vegas news shows at http://www.YouTube.com/milestomemories. We do two news shows weekly on YouTube with this being the audio version. Never miss out on the latest happenings in and around Las Vegas! Enjoying the podcast? Please consider leaving us a positive review on your favorite podcast platform! You can also connect with us anytime at podcast@milestomemories.com.  You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify or by searching "MtM Vegas" or "Miles to Memories" in your favorite podcast app. Don't forget to check out our travel/miles/points podcast as well!

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the end of the Streaming Wars and the beginning of the Bundle Era as well as the end of Young Sheldon. Then, the boys discuss some rumors including a fighting game focused on Peacock's stable of properties and a Family Guy anime. Later, the gang sit down to watch Sonic the Hedgehog spin-off Knuckles and the show's surprising focus on the dramas of bowling. ★ Support this podcast ★

It's episode 200 and the boys find themselves forced into another gauntlet. This time it's all Gundam! Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster sit down to watch 4 different Gundam series before ranking them to decide the best Gundam show (out of these 4 shows.) Shocking revelations, questionable decisions and a plethora of wild character names, all that and more on this 200th episode of TV Tuners! ★ Support this podcast ★

Episode 172 | "Braided" Kam continues to consolidate power, Jaz stands up for herself, Brandon betrays a summer camp friend, Nicole & Laurel rekindle, and Brad's meat stick becomes a source of amusement. All that and more on today's show! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lovewarchallenges/message

Join us on a trip to the Amalfi Coast town of Positano! On this episode we share our experience visiting the most popular town in the Amalfi Coast, including what we did, ate, and saw while we were there. We also give our opinions on whether this controversial destination is worth the hype and whether or not we would go back!

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss Comedy Central's animated Golden Axe show and Netflix no longer announcing subscription numbers to the public. Then, the boys discuss some rumors we've heard including a Sopranos game by Bethesda, Netflix's latest attempt at audience engagement and shocking plans for season 3 of the Halo show. Later, the gang sit down to watch AMC's Parish and discuss Giancarlo Esposito's new accent and the anticipation of meeting a man simply named Horse. ★ Support this podcast ★

The year is 20420 and Swanson, Kiorein, Stairmaster and Geo have been assigned the task of watching End of Evangelion and finding new things to say about it.  ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss Sylvester Stallone's bad behavior on the Tulsa King set and the end of development on a Game of Thrones sequel all about Jon Snow. Later, the gang watch Amazon's Fallout adaptation and hold out hope for a Vault Boy appearance. Plus, Swanson recounts his treacherous trip to the Denver airport! ★ Support this podcast ★

It's the first Friday of the Month and we're talking about another OEM's return to stair step incentive programs. We also talk about Ford's throttling back on some new EV truck models, as well as GenZs propensity for financial responsibility. Ford is the next OEM to get back on the stairmaster as it reactivates stair-step incentives to boost F-150 sales, stirring up a mix of concern and strategic maneuvering among dealers.The program applies to certain 2023 models, including gasoline, hybrid, and Lightning variants, aiming to move inventory as 2024 models face delivery delays.Critics argue stair-steps erode trust and create pricing confusion, with calls for transparency and direct incentives to customers.Dealerships earn $750 per truck if they meet their monthly sales target, $1,000 per truck for reaching 120% of the target, and in February and March, the incentive was $1,500 per truck for surpassing the target by 120%.Nick Anderson, general manager of Chuck Anderson Ford in Excelsior Springs appreciates the help to move vehicles but has deeper concerns about causing more customer confusion:"My main goal is for the customer to 100 percent understand everything," Anderson said. "When manufacturers have these hidden offers that the dealership is aware of but the customer doesn't understand, I think it hurts the relationship between the consumer base and the dealer body. Manufacturers are never really on the hook to explain anything."Ford has postponed the debut of new electric SUVs and trucks in North America, delaying the launch of three-row EVs in Canada to 2027 due to a global dip in EV demand and to await market development and advancements in battery technology.Tennessee's new electric truck production pushed to 2026, aiming for gradual quality-driven output increase.Amidst financial losses in its EV segment, Ford focuses on integrating hybrid options across its gasoline vehicle range."We are committed to scaling a profitable EV business, using capital wisely and bringing to market the right gas, hybrid, and fully electric vehicles at the right time," says CEO Jim Farley.Gen Z is defying the financial stereotypes inherited from their predecessor Gen Y, as nearly 80% reject the notions of 'doom spending' and 'soft saving' as reflective of their financial behaviors, according to a Cleo survey."Doom spending" refers to the act of excessively spending money as a way to cope with economic or financial stress.Inflation has prompted nearly 4 in 5 Gen Zers to adapt their spending, emphasizing their proactive approach to financial management.Notably, 30% of Zoomers (ages 16-27) have started saving even before adulthood, showcasing early financial responsibility.Cleo's survey reveals that 41% of Gen Zers completely disassociate from 'doom spending'Hosts: Paul J Daly and Kyle MountsierGet the Daily Push Back email at https://www.asotu.com/ JOIN the conversation on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/company/asotu/ Read our most recent email at: https://www.asotu.com/media/push-back-email

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the latest attempt to reboot Baywatch and Tim Allen returning to network TV for yet another family sitcom. Then, the boys play a rousing game of Guess Who's Coming that features English men on horseback and the particulars of murdering in self-defense. Later, the gang watch FX's remake of the classic miniseries Shogun and show appreciation for sailors and all the creative ways they swore.  ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the differences between Star Wars and Dune along with their shared love of spice. Then, the gang sit down to watch Netflix's live action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Together, the boys talk about poor casting choices, useless exposition and the struggles of creating a real world out of dodgy CGI.  ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss season 4 of True Detective and Kio fills the others in on some big news that they may have missed. Then, the gang sit down to watch the CBS show Tracker and wonder why they decided this milquetoast premise needed a myth-arc.  ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss USA's Suits becoming the most-watched show on streaming in 2023 and Netflix's belated cancellation of Ratched. Then, the boys watch the trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog spin-off Knuckles and wonder what wacky adventures our favorite echidna will get up to. Later, the gang sit down to watch Apple TV+'s Masters of the Air and discuss how culture has changed in the 2+ decades since Band of Brothers debuted.  ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the Ted TV show becoming Peacock's most watched program and Jon Stewart returning to The Daily Show, but only on Mondays. Then, the boys watch the trailer for Apple TV+'s Constellation including the surprise appearance of Jonathan Banks as a scientist (?) who thinks something weird happened to his astronaut friend. Later, the gang sit down to watch Netflix's animated mini-series, Pokemon Concierge and discuss some appearances from our favorite Pokemon and the ones we wish showed up. ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss movie-review app Letterboxd adding TV shows to their slate and CBS beginning production on NCIS: Origins. Then, the boys watch the trailer for season 2 of Max's Tokyo Vice and recall their experiences watching the first season. Later, the gang sit down to watch the live-action adaptation of Yu Yu Hakusho and wonder why they couldn't get a single spirit gun in this first episode.  ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discover the wonderful world of slickdeals.net and find a great price for everyday items as well as some mildly funny comments. Then, the boys sit down to look back at the shows they watch in 2023 and pick the best and the worst!  ★ Support this podcast ★

‍Ever wondered how to navigate life's big challenges while single-handedly running a dental practice? In this episode of The Dental Marketer, Dr. Melissa Torres details her journey from contemplation to execution and her eventual success in the realm of dentistry. Despite the weight of decisions, self-doubts, and life's unexpected turns, Melissa persisted, primarily banking on personal introspection and journaling for clarity and direction. She exposes her innovative approach of assembling a team with less experience but a profound willingness to learn, crediting social media as a primary platform for recruitment. ‍What You'll Learn in This Episode:How personal introspection and journaling can help gain clarity and purpose while facing significant decisions.Insights on how to effectively manage consultants and contractors for the success of your business.Melissa's unique approach to recruitment and why she chose to train newcomers instead of hiring experienced professionals.Strategies for coping with unforeseen setbacks and staff changes before and after launching your practice.Melissa's experiences and recommendations about different companies she associated with while setting up her dental practice.A personal story of managing a profound personal loss while still handling the daily operations of a thriving business.Harnessing the power of social media not just for brand visibility, but also as an recruitment tool.‍Listen as Melissa shares her riveting journey of ups and downs in the dental industry and her association with companies like Darkhorse Tech that helped play a pivotal role in actualizing her vision!‍‍Guest: Dr. Melissa TorresPractice Name: Miel Dental AestheticsCheck out Melissa's Media:Website: https://mieldentalaesthetics.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmelissatorresEmail: inquiries@drmelissatorres.com‍Other Mentions and Links:‍Get a head start on 2024 with the Ground Marketing Course and receive $419 off your purchase with the code "practicelaunchpad"! You can sign up here: https://thedentalmarketer.lpages.co/the-ground-marketing-course-open-enrollment/‍Companies/Software/Services: Open Dental Ideal PracticesIdentify DesignsDarkhorse TechCiscoCasperTranscendental, LLC (marketing company)Google AdsIndeed‍People/Communities: Dr. Ashley Dawson - Dawson Modern DentistryDr. Taher DhoonDr. Christopher Green‍Books/Publications:The Practice Launchpad: Insights From The Experts: Unraveling The Complexities Of Practice Ownership‍Establishments/Brands:Howard UniversityTargetStarbucks‍Products:StairMaster‍‍Host: Michael Arias‍Website: The Dental Marketer Join my newsletter: https://thedentalmarketer.lpages.co/newsletter/‍Join this podcast's Facebook Group: The Dental Marketer Society‍Please don't forget to share with us on Instagram when you are listening to the podcast AND if you are really wanting to show us love, then please leave a 5 star review on iTunes! [Click here to leave a review on iTunes]‍p.s. Some links are affiliate links, which means that if you choose to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. This commission comes at no additional cost to you. Please understand that we have experience with these products/ company, and I recommend them because they are helpful and useful, not because of the small commissions we make if you decide to buy something. Please do not spend any money unless you feel you need them or that they will help you with your goals.‍

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss Netflix producing a new anime based on One Piece and if the time investment will be easier without all the filler. Later, the boys sit down to watch season 2 of Amazon's Reacher and take great joy in seeing a very big man beat people up. ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss a new Mexico-based spinoff for The Boys and streaming services partnering up to offer ad-supported bundles. Then, the gang watch the trailer for Amazon's Fallout and get leery when they see the Westworld creators attached. Later, the boys sit down to watch Netflix's animated adaptation Scott Pilgrim Takes Off and finally answer the age old question: Is Scott Pilgrim a fuck boy? ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the upcoming end of Young Sheldon and have a few ideas for the next Sheldon-based show. Then, the boys watch the teaser for Peacock's Ted and try to remember anything appealing about the films. Later, the gang sit down to watch Nathan Fielder's new show The Curse and talk about the fine line between funny and terrifying. ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the end of the SAG-AFTRA strike and what they look forward to with Hollywood back up and running. Then, the boys watch the trailer for Netflix's live-action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender and compare it to the previous M. Night Shymalan version. Later, the gang sit down and watch NBC's latest procedural Found and try to get on the show's batshit wavelength.  ★ Support this podcast ★

When training for any athletic event, a lot can go wrong. Even worse: your mind can start playing tricks on you. So it helps a great deal to have a great coach guide you on the road to become a legend. Let's Grow Big Together! The podcast that climbs the Stairmaster along with you, but not on the same machine, cause people are gonna look. In this series, we're taking a look at the passion for muscle, adventures in bodybuilding, muscle gods, muscle worship and practical advice to put on the gains. Today, I'm just a few weeks out from my first bodybuilding contest at the young age of 51, and we're thrilled to introduce you to my coach Matt Claussen. As a powerlifter, Matt Claussen is highly regarded as a four time National Powerlifting Champion. As a bodybuilder, Matt Claussen has won five major championships including first place in the 2005 NPC East Coast Classic and guided over 75 clients to get stage ready for their own contests.COACH MATT CLAUSSEN: https://www.instagram.com/mattclaussen/NPC WINTER CLASSIC DEC 2, BLOOMINGTON IL: https://npcmidamericanwinterclassic.comPlus-- • Getting ready for your first coach. • Coming out of the closet to your parents as a bodybuilder.• Are powerlifters really using butt plugs to stabilize their core? • Weightlifting horror stories to put a chill down your spine.

This week, Swanson and Stairmaster discuss the end of all movies with the threats of the studios "final and best" offer and what the future will look like without any actors. Later, the boys sit down to watch the John Wick-less John Wick prequel, The Continental and try to figure out what is going on with Mel Gibson. ★ Support this podcast ★

When training for any athletic event, a lot can go wrong. Even worse: your mind can start playing tricks on you. So it helps a great deal to have a great coach guide you on the road to become a legend. Let's Grow Big Together! The podcast that climbs the Stairmaster along with you, but not on the same machine, cause people are gonna look. In this series, we're taking a look at the passion for muscle, adventures in bodybuilding, muscle gods, muscle worship and practical advice to put on the gains. Today, I'm just a few weeks out from my first bodybuilding contest at the young age of 51, and we're thrilled to introduce you to my coach Matt Claussen. As a powerlifter, Matt Claussen is highly regarded as a four time National Powerlifting Champion. As a bodybuilder, Matt Claussen has won five major championships including first place in the 2005 NPC East Coast Classic and guided over 75 clients to get stage ready for their own contests.COACH MATT CLAUSSEN: https://www.instagram.com/mattclaussen/NPC WINTER CLASSIC DEC 2, BLOOMINGTON IL: https://npcmidamericanwinterclassic.comPlus-- • Getting ready for your first coach. • Coming out of the closet to your parents as a bodybuilder.• Are powerlifters really using butt plugs to stabilize their core? • Weightlifting horror stories to put a chill down your spine.

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike and when we can expect a deal to be made to end it. Later, the gang sit down to discuss the spooky new reboot of Goosebumps and the moment when a show becomes too quirky for its own good. Also, Stairmaster regales his friends with the deep lore of The Back Rooms. ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike and Marvel's recent move to shake up the writing and production of their TV shows. Later, the gang sits down to watch Amazon's The Boys spin-off: Gen V and the show's quest for new depraved ways for people to use their powers. Also, Swanson recalls the horrors of watching The Banana Splits as a child. ★ Support this podcast ★

This week, Swanson, Kiorein and Stairmaster discuss the end of the WGA strike and what to expect with the SAG-AFTRA strike moving forward. Later, the boys sit down to watch Yellowstone creator Taylor Sheridan's latest project Special Ops: Lioness and discuss the absurd military propaganda. Plus, we try to spy the 5 seconds Nicole Kidman is in this show and briefly get confused about who the main character is. ★ Support this podcast ★

We are proud to be partnering again this year with Core Health and Fitness, Stairmaster, and MyZone to host our 3rd annual 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb. This is an event to honor those who gave their lives on 9/11. We will be climbing and cheering each other on as we sacrifice just a little bit of physical discomfort to keep the memories of those who gave the ultimate sacrifices alive. This is an event for the whole family, please bring them out, even if they do not want to climb. If they do want to climb, everyone is welcome to do so, this is not just an event for firefighters. If you want to memorialize the heroes of 9/11 this is a way that you can do exactly that. Follow the links below to register and please share this episode with friends and family and then bring them with you! We will see you there! Sunday, September 10th, check-in starts at 8 AM and we will be climbing until noon, or later if people are still there wanting to climb.Register for the climb. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfdflYSZEq7_msTzev6qOLK4xfZWN88GXx8nuzDh662Fh-Mpw/viewform Contact us with your questions:thefireyoucarry@gmail.comkevinpwelsh@gmail.comnolerltw@gmail.comKevin: 805-766-2499Nole: 559-314-5579The Fire You Carry Instagram.https://www.instagram.com/thefireyoucarry/The Fire Up Program Instagram.https://www.instagram.com/fireup_program/Kevin's Instagram.https://www.instagram.com/kevinpwelsh/?hl=enNole's Instagram.https://www.instagram.com/nolelilley/?hl=en

Pay a visit to your local gym, observe the grimacing patrons as they pound the treadmill or march in place on the StairMaster, and you might conclude that exercise is no fun. But it doesn't have to be that way, according to Kelly McGonigal, who lectures at Stanford, teaches dance classes, and wrote “The Joy of Movement: How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage.” Today, she explains how exercise — of all kinds and in all doses — can strengthen your mind, elevate your mood, and deepen your social connections.