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Small Business Spoonfuls With Lisa Smith and Mason Merrell

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2023 14:41

"Passover People" - Simon the CrossbearerSimon of Cyrene, - probably just an ordinary man, going about his ordinary business. One minute he was an unconcerned passer-by, a foreigner visiting Jerusalem for a religious pilgrimage, and the next he was suddenly thrust into the greatest drama ever, God's eternal plan of redemption.Read the TRANSCRIPT HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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What can HR learn from the Alec Baldwin Manslaughter Charge?

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 32:54

The Alec Baldwin manslaughter case has sparked much conversation in a variety of settings around the world. Keeping in mind that the filming of the movie Rust was done on a “job site” the question we are posing today is “What can HR learn from the facts of this case?”. Join us for an honest and candid discussion about the errors and responsibilities that can get HR, managers, supervisors, and individual employees in legal hot water when policies and procedures are taken a little too lightly. Read the TRANSCRIPT Here

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Autism and ”Just Right”: The Quest for Balance

Autism in the Adult

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2023 32:29 Transcription Available

Join Dr. Regan for this episode on the quest for balance on the autism spectrum. Whether it's emotional regulation, attention, sleep, social interactions, task initiation, finances and more, finding the "just right" state is difficult for many on the spectrum. Book: The Science of Making Friends Dr. Regan's Resources Course for Clinicians - Interventions in Autism: Helping Clients Stay Centered, Connect with Others, and Engage in Life Course for Clinicians: ASD Differential Diagnoses and Associated Characteristics Book: Understanding Autism in Adults and Aging Adults, 2nd ed Audiobook Book: Understanding Autistic Behaviors Autism in the Adult website homepage Website Resources for Clinicians Read the Transcript Here: 1 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,610 Hello and welcome back to the podcast Autism in the Adult. 2 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:12,730 I am your host, 3 00:00:12,730 --> 00:00:14,390 Dr Theresa Regan, 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,120 a neuropsychologist, 5 00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:18,470 a certified autism specialist. 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:23,930 The director of an autism diagnostic clinic for adolescents, 7 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:29,590 adults and aging adults in central Illinois and the mother of a teen on the spectrum. 8 00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:48,140 I'm glad you're joining me today for this episode that I'm going to call autism and "just right." This is actually a great topic that was suggested by a listener from Finland and I hope that I am pronouncing the name correctly. 9 00:00:48,140 --> 00:01:07,680 I think it's Maya ... Maya wrote about questions and struggles within the topic of balance in life when you have that autistic neurology, 10 00:01:07,690 --> 00:01:09,270 Maya wrote this. 11 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:23,030 I would so much love to hear what you have to say about autistic people and the struggle we have with striking a balance in situations where we have to create an appropriate view on or understanding of things? 12 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:29,350 I am convinced that this is the major autistic difficulty that I personally struggle with. 13 00:01:30,110 --> 00:01:34,570 It shows up in different forms for me and on many levels. 14 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:39,890 I could take a few examples so that you understand what I mean? 15 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:44,520 Because most often this is not linked to intelligence, 16 00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:46,350 for example, 17 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:47,490 is this person, 18 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:50,100 a friend who respects me or not, 19 00:01:50,740 --> 00:01:53,230 am I too skinny or even to fat? 20 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:58,050 Should I contact a doctor because of this thing that I'm feeling right now. 21 00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:01,470 How far should I stand by this person's side? 22 00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:04,500 How much should I help him or her? 23 00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:10,820 Exactly how well should I perform in this university course in order to pass. 24 00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:15,030 I want to thank Maya for writing about that. 25 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:29,300 Um this is something I've thought about as well and I think it's one of those really great ways to conceptualize autism aside from specific details. 26 00:02:29,310 --> 00:02:34,510 So sometimes to get the most meaning out of what you're feeling, 27 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:47,890 it can help to step back and say how is it that all these little pieces of the autistic experience hang together in some ways it can feel so granular, 28 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:51,500 like so many things are impacted. 29 00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:59,120 Why do these things happen at the same time and when we have ways of conceptualizing it? 30 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,450 Um I think it brings meaning. 31 00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:10,290 It helps these little pieces come together as why do I have trouble with these 12 things? 32 00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,380 Well, 33 00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:19,090 these 12 things have a thread that go through and when we can step back and see that thread that joins things, 34 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:23,020 I think it really makes things more meaningful. 35 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,210 Um and so that's what I want to do with this topic. 36 00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:32,870 Today I call this the just right state. 37 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,570 So she was talking about balance. 38 00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:38,230 That's another great way to term it. 39 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:43,950 Um A lot of times with the neurology that we're talking about, 40 00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:55,770 somebody will have difficulty finding that just right spot of balance where whatever they're attempting is not too much or too little. 41 00:03:56,130 --> 00:04:24,560 And ideally our neurology should help us flow in these areas that we can flow and adjust and we have this innate sense of where we should land to be just right for this context for this person for this topic and we can shift because just right will look different in one setting that it will in another setting or across time. 42 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:30,320 So there's a lot of innit nous and flow in this ability to find just right. 43 00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:35,920 We've talked about difficulty with regulation in a very broad sense. 44 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:47,530 We did a series on regulation issues having to do with alertness and attention and emotions and getting to that just rate state in those areas. 45 00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:59,270 But I think what Maya is pointing out is that regulation and balance and just right is a thread that goes through a lot of other areas with autism as well. 46 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:04,170 So let's take a few areas and see how this just right. 47 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,330 Uh this quest for just right is difficult. 48 00:05:08,950 --> 00:05:10,990 Let's take the social area. 49 00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:19,020 So some things that were struggling with that would capture this difficulty with just right would be, 50 00:05:19,030 --> 00:05:22,400 how much should I be speaking right now to this person? 51 00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:24,690 How much detail should I be giving? 52 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,830 How much personal information should I share? 53 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:34,660 What is the just right intensity and level of excitement for this context or person? 54 00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:41,240 What is just right as I'm interacting with a boss versus an acquaintance? 55 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:43,090 How much eye contact? 56 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:44,700 Too much or too little? 57 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:55,420 How much emotional expression should I be using without looking false or like I'm putting on a show or that I don't care at all. 58 00:05:56,380 --> 00:05:57,410 For example, 59 00:05:57,420 --> 00:06:01,380 opening gifts without looking just flat or board, 60 00:06:01,390 --> 00:06:07,660 but without looking like an actor that's pretending to be happy with a gift. 61 00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:11,720 How much should I give this person? 62 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,130 How long should I stand by them? 63 00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:17,200 How much money should I loan them? 64 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,490 How many times should I give them a ride or a lift? 65 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:24,040 How much leeway should I give in a relationship? 66 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,270 For example, 67 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:31,540 I know people are complex and I can be friends with people who do things that I don't agree with. 68 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:34,120 But at what point do I say? 69 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:34,420 Yeah, 70 00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:37,970 this is really not a healthy relationship for me. 71 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:40,130 I need to end this relationship. 72 00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:44,200 How close should I make this relationship? 73 00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:52,470 And how soon what is the just right closeness and the timing of a relationship? 74 00:06:52,480 --> 00:07:03,690 So some people on the spectrum struggle because they really want some definition to the relationship quickly because this in between state, 75 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,770 this undefined state feels really uncomfortable. 76 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,600 So they might say, 77 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:20,770 well let's just get married right away because we know we're right for each other and in essence defining and structuring the relationship feels better than this. 78 00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:21,300 Huh? 79 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,600 I don't know what's gonna happen with this relationship. 80 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:27,070 It feels safer and more defined and more predictable. 81 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:36,130 Others will break up a relationship because they don't want to be in that undefined spot that in between place. 82 00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:42,420 Um So how much is just right as far as closeness in a relationship. 83 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:52,850 What is the just right number of times to text or phone someone if they don't call you back or to extend an invitation to someone. 84 00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:58,530 Now sometimes there are rules of thumb for something like that. 85 00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:06,670 There's a nice book that I like called the Science of Making Friends that I'll link in the show notes that talks about, 86 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:06,970 you know, 87 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:14,120 you don't text or call again once you've done so twice without a return text or call. 88 00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:28,880 I once worked with a couple and we were trying to really increase his ability to bring some nurturance and emotional content to the relationship. 89 00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:38,330 And I worked with him on being aware that one way to show his wife love is to compliment her. 90 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:40,960 So we kind of worked on that as a goal, 91 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,780 practiced it, 92 00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:45,090 role played it and he put it into action. 93 00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:48,310 The problem was then his wife said, 94 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,820 well now he's complimenting me too much. 95 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,570 It is the difficulty, 96 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:55,820 isn't it? 97 00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:58,880 Like I can learn a strategy, 98 00:08:58,890 --> 00:09:02,390 I can apply new knowledge, 99 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:08,690 but the getting the just right amount, 100 00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:09,880 the just right moment, 101 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,970 the just right compliment boy. 102 00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:13,510 That's really difficult. 103 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,260 It's difficult for anyone. 104 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:16,010 Uh, 105 00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:18,580 and even more so on the spectrum, 106 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:24,280 let's look at finances for that just right state. 107 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:39,340 It seems common for individuals on the spectrum to either lean toward spending too much perhaps on their special interests or other things that cut their eye or to spend too little. 108 00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:41,090 Um, 109 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:56,050 there are people that have lots of money in a savings account or other type of account but they don't want to withdraw anything to fix the roof or to buy an updated phone. 110 00:09:57,660 --> 00:10:01,970 What is the amount of spending that is just right. 111 00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:12,100 There are guides for budgeting but it can still feel really elusive to get just right in specific personal situations. 112 00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,490 So yeah, 113 00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:14,840 this is the principle, 114 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,080 this is the guideline, 115 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,750 this is the percentage, 116 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:25,380 but it is hard to have to look that framework up and not have a sense, 117 00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:29,070 an innate sense like yeah, 118 00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:33,180 I really need to get this roof repaired some will say, 119 00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:33,730 yeah, 120 00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:35,960 I know that I can ask for advice, 121 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:41,950 I know that I can use this budget but I wish I had this innate sense of yeah, 122 00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:46,440 I really need to update this in my home or boy, 123 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:51,570 I've spent too much on this area and not enough on this other area. 124 00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:54,240 They'll say, 125 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:54,540 you know, 126 00:10:54,540 --> 00:11:02,840 it's difficult to have a feel for it instead of having to stick to some type of formula and maybe feeling like, 127 00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:09,360 well what would that rule of thumb look like in this situation and how would it apply to this other case. 128 00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:16,490 Let's look at just right as it relates to task completion on the spectrum. 129 00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:22,400 What is the just right amount of completion for some people on the spectrum, 130 00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:30,960 completion is very important but when is something complete and what is the just right amount of accuracy and detail? 131 00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:44,080 Some may feel like I need to finish one task before I start another task or I can't go to bed until I read all of these pages assigned from the class of the previous day. 132 00:11:45,060 --> 00:11:49,120 What is the right amount of detail? 133 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:51,290 What is the right amount of speed? 134 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:57,100 Have I done enough that this assignment is complete, 135 00:11:57,140 --> 00:12:03,440 especially when we get to adulthood tasks don't have a clear cut off. 136 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:16,370 It's not like there are five math problems and we finish each one and we know the task is complete and maybe that we have a research paper or we have a software project. 137 00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:16,830 Well, 138 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,040 when is it complete? 139 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,620 When is it good enough? 140 00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:25,020 That difficulty knowing? 141 00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:25,480 Hey, 142 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:29,120 I haven't attended a task B at all, 143 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:33,420 but I've overworked on task A and how do I balance that? 144 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,030 When do I know that? 145 00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:36,560 That's the difficulty. 146 00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:50,450 One person I worked with said I've always had the strong feeling that a newspaper needs to be read completely from cover to cover from every page that there, 147 00:12:50,460 --> 00:12:53,030 there is a completion that's important. 148 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,700 You can't just read an article here and there. 149 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,630 That's just not right. 150 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:06,680 Another person may feel I have to finish this test completely before I start this other project. 151 00:13:07,650 --> 00:13:18,980 Even though the first task was something a coworker asked me about and this next one I have to complete is something my boss asked me to work on. 152 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:32,520 It's difficult sometimes for the individual with that autistic neurology to understand that all details do not have the same importance. 153 00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:38,970 Um There are people um on the spectrum who feel like, 154 00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:48,350 well every detail is going to be important so it has to be included and the neurology there just isn't helping the person know like Yeah, 155 00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:54,010 but in this instance this part is not as important as this part, 156 00:13:56,290 --> 00:14:06,880 it can be really hard to get the neurology to shift uh to adjust if a task needs to be done quickly but does not need to be as accurate. 157 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:12,510 So meeting deadlines might really be difficult if your boss says to you, 158 00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:15,910 hey this project needs to be done quickly. 159 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:21,720 It doesn't really need to be detailed but I have to have it ready for a meeting tomorrow at noon. 160 00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:24,990 I just want to give a broad overview. 161 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:29,830 Details are not important that can feel actually very stressful. 162 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,990 Well what does a broad overview look like? 163 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,600 And will, 164 00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:41,230 will I feel okay stopping when there are other details available. 165 00:14:43,910 --> 00:14:49,200 This is also related to the topic that maya brought up about working on a course, 166 00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:50,780 a university class. 167 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:57,460 How much work do I need to do in order to do a good job? 168 00:14:57,470 --> 00:15:00,290 What if I could have done more? 169 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,820 Could have done better. 170 00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:06,500 How many a's do I need to get to be a good student? 171 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:11,730 How can I hit the mark of balance with accuracy and speed? 172 00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:14,800 How can I balance that? 173 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:18,460 Everything doesn't have the same importance at the same time, 174 00:15:20,530 --> 00:15:26,400 something may be able to go undone while something else cannot wait another minute. 175 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,490 So triaging, 176 00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:32,400 how do I triage quickly based on importance? 177 00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:36,360 How thorough do I need to be on this project? 178 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:41,420 If the professor said I need to cite 10 sources, 179 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,070 Can my brain let go? 180 00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:52,440 The other 25 sources I might be able to get and how can I just innately have a feel for? 181 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:53,360 Okay, 182 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,250 this is done, 183 00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:58,120 this is this project is finished and it's good to go. 184 00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:11,500 Maya also noted in her email that sometimes the approach to dealing with this difficulty is to get input from others about what might be just right in a situation, 185 00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:15,570 but that approach doesn't always feel practical. 186 00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:23,180 Like who could I ask or there's a deadline and people aren't around this just isn't practical. 187 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,520 It also takes a lot of energy. 188 00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:32,760 And do I always bother the same person or how many times do I ask for input and who do I ask? 189 00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,610 So first of all, 190 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:40,850 let's talk about that difficulty finding the just right state. 191 00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:46,470 So this could be within alertness and behavioral activation, 192 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,310 it can be within attention. 193 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,790 Like what is the just right amount of attention. 194 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,210 It's somewhere between distractible and hyper focus. 195 00:16:56,220 --> 00:17:08,840 What is the just right space for our emotions while it's to be psychologically present and um clearheaded and calm. 196 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,010 What is just right for test completion, 197 00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:15,280 finances working out nutrition, 198 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,130 dieting all of these things. 199 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:26,470 Let me give you an example for my own life that has to do with another physical just rate dilemma. 200 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:35,250 So one of the things that I think about that I think also highlights this is that personally, 201 00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:42,950 it's kind of a joke in my family that I have really bad depth perception and again, 202 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:51,470 it's kind of a joke because at some point you just have to laugh and luckily I always think I have less room. 203 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,770 So it's not that I go around hitting things with the car, 204 00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,870 but you know, 205 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,350 there's lots of room left and it does get kind of funny, 206 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:12,470 I wish so in the back of my mind that I could learn to compensate for that because I do get tired of laughing at myself and having to be a good sport about this, 207 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:18,620 just silly thing that I've parked so far away from where I could have parked, 208 00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:29,250 I realized that I always leave two ft from where I could have pulled up. 209 00:18:29,780 --> 00:18:37,640 So there's this remarkable consistency for me in that area that I can't tell what's just right, 210 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:42,600 but somehow I'm always two ft from where I probably should be. 211 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,650 So I thought, 212 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,100 okay, 213 00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:57,570 well I will compensate for this difficulty with just right by going an extra two ft because I actually think I can Gauge what two ft would be. 214 00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:06,830 So I started to do that and lo and behold I that just does not work. 215 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:16,110 I cannot compensate to get to intellectually get to the where the just right status. 216 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:31,770 So as you can imagine I'm either to end up touching the wall or the um edge of the parking space with my car or I end up still being well below where I could be. 217 00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:48,420 So for me that's just another example that if my eyes in my brain are not able to show me the just rate state, 218 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:54,700 there's not much I can do about that unfortunately. 219 00:19:55,990 --> 00:20:02,700 Um And even though I intellectually think of a strategy to compensate, 220 00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:06,940 it still doesn't mean that I can hit the just right spot. 221 00:20:06,950 --> 00:20:08,680 Well I should do this more, 222 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,140 I should do this less. 223 00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:29,430 Um So I actually believe and in my experience with clients I think that ability that flow for that feel for the just rate state is something that is very difficult to compensate for. 224 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:33,770 And I'm not sure that there are great ways to do that. 225 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:46,350 I think what we typically do is we suggest intellectual compensations kind of like what I tried to do for my uh driving and parking. 226 00:20:46,360 --> 00:21:15,230 Um And I think those things are helpful in some ways but there's still this gap between where we would want to be as far as having a flow and an efficiency a feel for that would be so great rather than having to try to gauge to hit that spot a little bit better. 227 00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:23,400 Some of the compensations that are helpful would be, 228 00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:24,330 um, 229 00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:28,280 I think having the self awareness is helpful. 230 00:21:28,290 --> 00:21:29,750 So for example, 231 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,660 I know that I have this difficulty, 232 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:36,480 so if I have a passenger in the car and they're like, 233 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,040 you know, 234 00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:42,450 you can pull up some more because I have that self awareness. 235 00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:45,850 I have a place for that to integrate that comment. 236 00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:47,070 And I can say, 237 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,080 oh yeah, 238 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,320 I probably can, 239 00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:51,520 I can't really tell you, 240 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:52,840 tell me when to stop. 241 00:21:53,470 --> 00:21:54,000 Um, 242 00:21:54,010 --> 00:21:57,510 so I'm able to say yes to that comment. 243 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,060 Like, 244 00:21:58,070 --> 00:21:58,480 oh yeah, 245 00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,640 I have a place for that. 246 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,680 That makes sense. 247 00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:01,900 I have that awareness. 248 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,930 I have that understanding of myself and I can't compensate myself. 249 00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:09,010 But if you're here and you're willing to help, 250 00:22:09,010 --> 00:22:09,940 let's do that. 251 00:22:11,310 --> 00:22:14,460 So having a place to put comments like, 252 00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:15,650 um, 253 00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:16,350 you know, 254 00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:25,390 you don't have to call me so many times or um I really don't think that person is mad at you. 255 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:25,840 You know, 256 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,590 when we get feedback like that, 257 00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:30,950 it it does help us to have a place where we say, 258 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:31,650 oh, 259 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,400 I didn't realize that, 260 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:39,570 but I do know I can make errors in that in that area sometimes. 261 00:22:40,420 --> 00:22:41,170 Um, 262 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:47,440 I also think that the awareness can be about what we lean toward. 263 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,780 So if we have trouble finding the just right spot, 264 00:22:50,780 --> 00:23:03,780 sometimes we lean toward going toward too much or too little and in my case I lean toward uh leaving too much room or thinking I don't have enough room. 265 00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:05,790 So I lean in the same direction. 266 00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:07,800 Um, 267 00:23:07,810 --> 00:23:17,440 in the case of autism and the categories that we've talked about sometimes that's true for individuals in those categories as well. 268 00:23:17,450 --> 00:23:28,640 So I have clients that always lean toward thinking that they haven't done enough or they always lean toward thinking, 269 00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:29,500 um, 270 00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:36,160 someone's mad at them or thinking that they shouldn't spend money on something. 271 00:23:36,170 --> 00:23:40,680 So they have a way that they lean so they can say to themselves, 272 00:23:40,690 --> 00:23:46,090 I realize about myself that when I am off of just right, 273 00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:48,780 I'm usually in this direction in this category. 274 00:23:50,230 --> 00:23:51,840 That's also helpful. 275 00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:52,600 Um, 276 00:23:52,610 --> 00:23:54,780 because I do think again, 277 00:23:54,780 --> 00:23:56,510 it gives us a place to put things. 278 00:23:56,510 --> 00:24:06,800 So let's say that someone is working on a university project and there's nobody there to guide them through and they're thinking, 279 00:24:08,050 --> 00:24:14,600 I've checked all these specific boxes that the professor asked for, 280 00:24:14,610 --> 00:24:17,390 but I just have this feeling that I should do more. 281 00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:19,290 I know I could do more, 282 00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,910 at least they're able to say to themselves, 283 00:24:21,910 --> 00:24:22,590 you know, 284 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,720 when I'm uncertain about whether I've done enough, 285 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,410 usually I've already done too much. 286 00:24:29,420 --> 00:24:30,060 Um, 287 00:24:30,060 --> 00:24:34,730 so that can be a guide for them of sorts where they could say, 288 00:24:34,730 --> 00:24:35,150 okay, 289 00:24:35,150 --> 00:24:36,170 I'm gonna, 290 00:24:36,180 --> 00:24:38,730 I'm gonna complete this task, 291 00:24:38,730 --> 00:24:42,370 I'm gonna call it completed because um, 292 00:24:43,210 --> 00:24:47,890 I know I lean in that direction and I feel like I've ticked the basic boxes. 293 00:24:52,170 --> 00:24:58,140 Another thing that can be helpful then is to have some way to communicate. 294 00:24:58,150 --> 00:25:06,210 Maybe some uh sentences or phrases or ways of putting things that you've practiced ahead of time, 295 00:25:06,890 --> 00:25:13,520 that communicate to others about your difficulty finding just right in a specific area. 296 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,880 So let's take some examples. 297 00:25:17,890 --> 00:25:26,920 And this could be communication beforehand or uh in the midst or after something has happened, 298 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,720 an example would be, 299 00:25:29,730 --> 00:25:42,750 let's say someone is starting a new romantic relationship and they have the self awareness that sometimes when they come home from work, 300 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:48,130 they are really shut down psychologically and they're in their own head, 301 00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:48,780 you know, 302 00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:53,590 that they don't talk a lot to their partners, 303 00:25:53,590 --> 00:25:59,110 they don't interact much and sometimes partners need something that they aren't, 304 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,180 aren't giving. 305 00:26:00,190 --> 00:26:02,410 So with that awareness, 306 00:26:02,420 --> 00:26:06,300 they could say to the partner ahead of time, 307 00:26:06,930 --> 00:26:07,640 hey, 308 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:17,420 I'm I've been learning about myself uh and one of the things I've learned is that I guess I tend to be shut down after work when I come home. 309 00:26:17,430 --> 00:26:20,940 So if you need help with something, 310 00:26:20,950 --> 00:26:23,620 if you um you know, 311 00:26:23,620 --> 00:26:27,580 want to tell me a specific story or something that's happened, 312 00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:39,820 you might really just have to um have me look you in the eye and tell me exactly what you need because I might not read the situation very well on my own. 313 00:26:40,550 --> 00:26:43,360 So that would be a case where, 314 00:26:43,370 --> 00:26:44,020 you know, 315 00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:45,950 you have difficulty finding just right, 316 00:26:45,950 --> 00:26:49,600 you're not going to be able to compensate after work, 317 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,210 you're already kind of offline, 318 00:26:52,220 --> 00:27:02,410 but you could explain a bit of the context even though you can't compensate yourself or shift that you could give some context. 319 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:08,890 I think the value of that is not only giving the person that information, 320 00:27:08,890 --> 00:27:15,040 but I think telling people that you're trying to learn more about yourself, 321 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:19,350 I think is just a really good thing to communicate. 322 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:32,340 People value that we all know we're imperfect humans and we're learning about ourselves and we're growing and that we're open to feedback. 323 00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:33,350 So, 324 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:33,830 you know, 325 00:27:33,830 --> 00:27:36,280 if feel free to give me feedback, 326 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:49,630 if I'm if I'm offline and and I can try to adjust an example of communicating after the fact or maybe in the midst of a fact. 327 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,540 So let's take a different example. 328 00:27:52,540 --> 00:28:06,350 We're going to take the example of being at work and there is a project that you've been put in charge of and you miss the deadline and your boss is gonna do coaching with you about that. 329 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:15,290 Um So you get feedback from your boss who is frustrated that the deadline was missed. 330 00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:16,890 That you know, 331 00:28:16,890 --> 00:28:25,660 he he really needs to be able to count on someone that can meet deadlines because these are very important to the bottom line of their department. 332 00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:30,540 And if you can't be a team player and get those deadlines done, 333 00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:34,670 then the whole team suffers again. 334 00:28:34,670 --> 00:28:39,980 This would be an opportunity for you to say in your head, 335 00:28:39,990 --> 00:28:40,380 you know, 336 00:28:40,380 --> 00:28:43,970 to think uh here here, 337 00:28:43,970 --> 00:28:44,860 this comes up. 338 00:28:44,860 --> 00:28:53,530 I know that I do tend to focus on accuracy more than speed and I didn't realize it, 339 00:28:53,530 --> 00:28:58,300 but uh that's come into play here and so out loud to your boss, 340 00:28:58,310 --> 00:29:01,140 you could say a similar thing, 341 00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:02,330 you could say, 342 00:29:03,230 --> 00:29:04,700 you know, 343 00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:07,410 I'm really sorry that that happened, 344 00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:31,260 I've been learning about myself that I really do tend toward getting into the detail and sometimes I sacrifice speed without really meaning to and what I realize helps me is and then you can give a specific thing that you would like. 345 00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:36,870 Um so one of the things an employee might ask for would be, 346 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:55,720 it would help me if I could set uh deadlines for parts of the project rather than the completion so that I really stay on pace and what I'd like to do for this next project you've given me is break it into six parts and I'm going to, 347 00:29:55,730 --> 00:29:56,390 you know, 348 00:29:56,390 --> 00:30:04,290 give you dates for my deadlines for each of these parts and you can tell me if the deadlines need to be adjusted. 349 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:11,090 Um so what you're doing is saying I have this self awareness and I'm growing in this area, 350 00:30:11,630 --> 00:30:19,600 you're showing that you're open to feedback and then you're also showing that you're going to try a new strategy. 351 00:30:20,650 --> 00:30:31,310 So sometimes there can be ways of trying to um navigate this difficulty with just right, 352 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:38,760 we talked before about how another navigation tool might might be rules of thumb or general principles. 353 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,900 So here's my budget, 354 00:30:40,900 --> 00:30:50,230 this is what I'm supposed to spend or not spend or um rules of thumb for completing a university course. 355 00:30:51,540 --> 00:31:10,790 But I think the truth of that struggle of not having that innate feel for just right really is something core in the autism neurology that I haven't found um a way to shift. 356 00:31:10,790 --> 00:31:20,690 I think that's really a core neurologic piece that I'm either too much or too little and if I hit just right, 357 00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:21,590 that's great. 358 00:31:21,590 --> 00:31:23,760 But I have such a hard time staying there. 359 00:31:25,490 --> 00:31:39,900 I want to thank my again for that insight and um I think even when there aren't answers to correct a challenge or to kind of make it easier over time, 360 00:31:39,910 --> 00:31:46,180 I think that awareness that conceptualization that oh why do I do this? 361 00:31:46,180 --> 00:31:48,650 Why am I really good at detail? 362 00:31:48,650 --> 00:31:50,590 But I really struggle with deadlines. 363 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,390 Well this all hangs together neurologically, 364 00:31:54,390 --> 00:32:05,120 it's part of that difficulty finding just right and I do think that that conceptualization that self awareness is important in and of itself. 365 00:32:05,130 --> 00:32:10,960 Um and I do think the understanding that that crosses over categories, 366 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:21,170 social and task completion and sleep and attention and all of these other things that are really difficult to balance. 367 00:32:22,410 --> 00:32:26,960 Thank you Maya and I hope you all join me for our next episode

science balance illinois quest adult engage autism finland adults making friends gauge aging adults transcript here

I Am Positive Affirmations Blessed Transform. Get Into The Receiving Mode REPROGRAM WHILE YOU SLEEP

I AM Affirmations for Mental Health Wellbeing

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2022 17:50

Transcript Here : https://www.weeklyaffirmationsblog.com/i-am-positive-affirmations-blessed-transform-get-into-the-receiving-mode-reprogram-while-you-sleep The words 'I AM" have potent and reality changing frequencies. Whatever feelings or intentions you put after the words I AM will create your reality. You have been doing it your whole life. It is time to take control of this subconscious programming and align yourself with the receiving mode. You ARE BLESSED. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/affirmations912/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/affirmations912/supportSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/i-am-affirmations-for-mental-health-wellbeing6701/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

sleep blessed transform receiving i am positive affirmations reprogram transcript here you are blessed

From Married to Divorced to Married with Kids: Rebekah Ward, 44

I Am This Age

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2022 60:31

Today Rebekah Ward talks all about her past relationships, how religion influenced them, and how she moved through divorce to a healthy, loving marriage with two kids in her early 40's. Rebekah is hilarious, open, and full of personal insight. My goodness do I love this episode. You will laugh and cry (maybe not cry but you will laugh) and you will absolutely learn something about what loving relationships really look like. Enjoy today's change story! www.iamthisage.com@iamthisage_podcastwww.jellyfishindustries.comwww.mollysider.com Transcript:Here's the thing. In my twenties and my thirties, I could not have been in the kind of romantic relationship I am in now. I couldn't because I hadn't yet done the work on myself that is required to be in that kind of relationship. I wanted to feel a deep connection with another human, and I wasn't going to settle for anything else, no matter how loud my biological clock ticked.But I also had no idea how to get that. I wanted to feel seen by a partner in such an intimate way that all my fears of being misunderstood by the rest of the world would fall away with the knowing that this one person whom I loved and respected and let's be honest, wanted to have sex with all the time, saw me for exactly me, and still wanted to have sex with me.It took years of learning and growing and experiencing disappointing relationships, and then years more of taking a very hard look in the mirror and recognizing and admitting the things about myself I wasn't particularly proud of, and then more years of untangling why I was doing those things.Figuring out why I really wanted this deep connection, unlearning unproductive habits, teaching myself new ways to be, and then committing to being those things. Now I get to continue learning and growing, but I get to do it in the kind of relationship I always wanted. So no, I couldn't have had this back then.I wasn't ready yet. But at 44, I am ready and I have it because I've lived those experiences and with every experience I learned more about the person I want to be, the kind of person I want to be in relationship with. And maybe most importantly, the belief that I am a worthy of the deep connection I always dreamed of.And if I learned anything from today's guess, it's that you have to believe in your worthiness enough to risk losing something great in order to gain what you most desire.Welcome back to another episode of I Am This Age a podcast proving it's never too late. You're never too old, so go do that thing you're always talking about. I'm Molly Cider, your host. And today's guest is Rebecca Ward, and we go deep into relationships, self-discovery, and what love really looks like. We talk extensively about how her experiences in and out of relationships in her twenties and thirties prepared her for getting married to her current husband just before her 39th birthday, and for having two kids in her forties.Rebecca is a blast. There's definitely some swearing in this episode. We laugh a lot and we laugh loudly, but mostly there's so much honesty and self-discovery, and I think it just might be one of my favorite episodes so far. So please enjoy Rebecca Ward.My name is Rebecca Ward. I am 44. I am a an artist. I act and direct and write. I am a wife and a mother of two children, a four year old and a one year old, and I am tired. So, and it is almost eight o'clock at night. Almost eight, which used to be when I would go out. It's just a perpetual, uh, exhaustion. But it'll pass.It'll pass. Yeah. Today we're gonna talk about love and relationships, how to get there. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I, the long and windy road, the long and windy road, , the never ending, long and windy road. You had two big relationships as a young adult. The first was, um, at 19 years old when you were engaged to a man who was 31.Mm-hmm. . He was a member of a Christian organization that came to your high school, and that's how you met. Yes. , your community, Um, being small, religious. Mm-hmm. and in your words, undereducated. I would say so. Okay. Or underexposed under underexposed. Mm-hmm. . Okay. That's, that's a, a better, nicer way. Yeah. Um, so underexposed, um, they were very supportive of your relationship.Mm-hmm. , you were considered a rockstar couple , you were studying to be a missionary. Um, but you also had this deep urge to travel and he did not. So eventually you broke off the engagement after moving away to college, which was devastating to your relationship with your friends and your family back at home.You did eventually, um, rectify that family. Yeah. With my family and Yeah, and the friend and, and, and the friends I stayed close to, you know. Oh, good. Okay. Yeah. And your second relationship was with a teacher at your college, . Um, he was two years older than youIt's not, Look, we've all got these stories and you have to get through it in order to get to the place. Um, but yeah. This one, this one was, um, two years older than you. Yeah. You shared a love of theater. Mm-hmm. . He wasn't religious and you said he did things like drink martinis, , and listen to Led Zeppelin and vinyl, which I just love those details.Um, and for that, you found him fascinating. And the two of you got married. Mm-hmm. . And you were married for 10 years. Yes. You went through some hard life moments together. Mm-hmm. , you did some personal growth work. Mm-hmm. . And as you began to realize who each of you were as individuals, you also understood that you were no longer a fit for each other and you left that marriage.Yeah, I would say. That is the summation post leaving. I don't know that. I could have articulated it that clearly when I was leaving. I very much loved him. Uh, but we were really ill suited toward one another. Um, and we had gotten engaged so quickly after dating for five months. Had we spent more time in relationship together before we decided to spend eternity together, , then maybe we would've figured that out, um, before we, uh, you know, took vows.But we didn't, and we were young. And I think that in the end, we, we both have grown into much healthier, happier people outside of a marriage relationship with one. . And so you, you left the marriage and you were in your early thirties, correct? Yeah. It was just still a baby. Mm-hmm. . Um, and so the following , the following like six or so years, was you sort of getting to play, you got your first apartment by yourself, you dated, you traveled, you did plays, you made friends, you went to therapy,Yes. Lots of that. You had an explosion of self-discovery mm-hmm. . And, um, you, you said people were noticing that you were changing. Yes. Can you tell the story about what did the casting doctors say to you? Um, so I had been seen in this casting office in Chicago, you know, for several years while I was married.And then for, I don't know, the first several months post separation. . I had gone in for some auditions and after one of those auditions, the casting associate, not the director of the whole office, but an associate pulled me aside and said, Hey, I, I wanted to just ask you what's going on Is something different?You've changed, You're just, And I was like, Well, you know, I, I got divorced. And he was like, I wondered your name wasn't the same, you know? And I was like, Yeah. And . And I also said, I'm having a lot of sex. And he was like, Great . Yeah. Um, but he just said that I was happier and lighter. And, um, it's, it sounds to me like you had this very clear intention at that time to.Really figure out what you, what your values were. Mm. Um, and you, you said you started to do this by saying yes to everything. Yeah. And I find it, um, I find it really interesting because you came from this like tiny religious, conservative Yeah. Conservative community. Mm-hmm. with lots of rules, that are based on noLots of nos. Lots of nos. And all of a sudden you're saying lots of yeses. You know, the world was literally your oyster and you were, it was like you were going to experience everything and then just narrow it down from there. Mm-hmm. , you were having like a complete reboot. I, I, it did feel that way and in some ways, to be honest, Yes.Reboot, but also I think it was a returning to my original self. Um, I think that my whole life, even when I was a little kid, I gravitated toward. The edges of things. Um, the edges. What does that mean? The people who were on the edge, the people who were maybe not the most popular. I I, I was generally friends with most people, but I was always intrigued by people who were pushing boundaries.But that does not garner you favor in the Southern methods denomination, um, or as a pastor's wife or, you know, like it's just very conservative. Fundamentalist Christianity is built on preserving the positions of the people who are in power, and they are able to maintain their power by keeping those who are not they in fear.Uh, be it fear of eternal damnation or. Judgment or sin or whatever you wanna say. And there's a long list of shit you are not supposed to do. Even when I was little, I can recall people who smoked a cigarette or when I took ballet, people who were gay and, and they were not evil, monstrous people that, uh, my religion growing up made them out to be.And so I think that that time in my life reboot in terms of rewriting the rules in my head of how I'm allowed to live and how I want to live. But also, uh, it was, it was a journey back to like the part of me earliest on that suspected from the get-go that there weren't as many. Delineations between people, all the different people that I met that, that it was made out to be.Yeah. That were all pretty much the same. Yeah, we're a lot closer and, you know, gay or not gay, um, Catholic or not, Like being Catholic was horrible where I grew up in the church I grew up, they thought if you were, if you were Catholic, if you were part of a cult. And I was like, and then I grew up and I was like, what?Like if you practiced yoga or meditation, you were, you were getting too close to the devil. Like just some really whacked out stuff. So it was a very, it was a very tiny world that they gave you in which to operate. And I never liked that. I never, never, never, never did I have had a voracious appetite always for everything that's out there.And, and if you wanna get really like, super spiritual about it, I have. Found it to be true that the more I experience and the more people I know and the, the more things I eat and the more things I get to do well, the better. I know God anyway, cuz it's all the same. Yeah. I don't really think God and limits actually go together.Can you give us a little snippet of what that time period look like for you,Um, you're so good at storytelling story. Uh, ok, sure. Um, I've made it very clear that I grew up in a conservative culture that was heavily religious and patriarchal and that also meant any sexuality was completely stamped out and, and forbidden because, you know, it's a gateway to you doing all kinds of things that would take you away from the Lord, whatever.I did wait to have sex until I got married, and my husband at the time was the only person I'd had sex with. So when that relationship was over, I absolutely was like, Well, now I know what I'm doing, . Um, which, you know, for some people, I, I imagine there's a wide range of ways that people would choose to, uh, live out that, that like time of exploration.For me, it primarily meant like saying yes to dates and for the first time in my life, a couple, one night nightstand and . A lot of the time it, I mean, I guess what I should say is it didn't take long for me to realize, maybe it was after three or four partners that I was like, A lot of this is the same , right?Like it's not, I'm anyb blowing experiences . Um, and I that, that in itself I was like, you know, but in particular the way I was operating for a snapshot of a moment, I was staying at this extended ta stay place where they put you up when you're an out of town actor, but you know, anybody can stay there.It's also a hotel. And I had either gotten home that, I can't even remember what time of day it was, but, um, either from rehearsal in the afternoon or in the evening after a show, I don't recall. And I was at the desk and I don't know if I was getting mail or something and I saw a man in the lobby. Sort of standing there and then get into an elevator.And we made eye contact and he was extremely handsome. There was this just sort of like charge, like electric charge. And I just, you know, and he got in the elevator and that was that. Um, but I finished my business, either got a pa, I don't know what it was, package or something anyway, and I went to hit the up button on the elevator and it opened and he was still in there.So he had either come back down or, I don't know. So I, he looked at me and I looked at him and I smiled and I got in the elevator. There was no one else in the elevator and he didn't speak English and he sort of noded and said hello or something. And then he just got really close to me and then we kissed and made out in the elevator until he came Oh my God.To his floor. I know, I know. I sound like I'm trying not to slut shame myself. Um, no, this is an amazing story. He, it was only like four floors up. We got to his floor and he kind of noded and like I said, he didn't speak English, but said, Do you wanna come in? And I, and I just said, No, I don't. I was fine and I didn't wanna do anything that I didn't feel safe with.Like, I was like, I don't really know this person. But I didn't feel unsafe in that moment in the elevator with him. And he was very like, Okay. And said something like Bella or beautiful or something like that. And that was that. And I never saw that person again. Wow. That's exciting. It was a moment where I just remember thinking, I'm going to, I'm gonna say yes to this moment and this instinct.And I did. And I was also really paying attention to my feelings. Uh, I want to, I feel like I should preface this like warning label. I had been spending an a solid year and a half up to that point in therapy, meditating, taking an antidepressant, uh, really working on self care and healing because when I made the decision to leave my ex-husband, I wanted to be able to trust that decision and the place from which I made it.And so I also felt really confident post separation o of what I was exploring and what I was doing. I, I didn't feel like I was. Like rebounding or anything. It wasn't like that. It was, it was a, a very intentional journey of what makes me happy, what feels good, what doesn't feel good. I wasn't always right.Right. Like there was a , there was a one night stand or a good guy that I went on a few dates with, and he totally ghosted me and totally got caught . And we had mutual friends. Oh, yeah. And I, I remember being 100% sort of publicly rejected and walking back to my car after the show and just breathing and thinking, Okay, okay, this is so, huh.So this is what it's like as an adult. You know, you, you choose to operate at this level and share yourself at this level. And it does not equal commitment or relationship. And I knew that cerebrally, but that was the first. That I'd actually experienced it and, and one potential outcome of my choices. It wasn't devastating or anything like that.It was just a, a, what's the word? Like, I was rebuffed. I was, I had very, he very clearly was like, Yeah, I'm done now. And I was likethere. And then now I've like, ok, ok. Pick myself up. And, you know, so a lot of the lessons that I feel like many people get when they're in their early to mid twenties, I wasn't having until a decade later. Yeah. Um, and I was giving myself, for the first time ever in my life, permission to be a sexual person, to follow my instincts, to make mistakes, and to do that shame and judgment.That's amazing. Just for the record, like I feel like I was still doing that in my thirties. I definitely was through my thirties. Like I think I was Sure I was, I've had those experiences even in my early, like in my forties . Yeah. Yes. I think as long as we are trying to learn who we are, you're gonna find these things out one way or the other.Yeah. And relationships with other people are, are our fastest teachers. Yes, they are. And also, but also like, we have to be willing to, you know, really look at ourselves and the role that we play in the relationship. Sure. And, and how we're contributing to whatever the thing is that we have experienced.Even if it's the ghosting, like, oh, I could tell you how I contributed to it. Oh, you're gonna move here. You're gonna move here from Brooklyn. Oh, that's great. Right. . Right. So the girl who had been in a relationship for 10 years and one other relationship before that maybe was not so great at one night stand.Right. And the thing is, is that when we're not willing to actually look at how we're contributing to these circumstances, we never learn. And I know of plenty of people who are still dealing with this in their seventies. Yes. And it's so hard. My parents, who I love deeply have an extremely dysfunctional marriage and they've been married for 48 years and, and it is a wreck.And they've spent that much time together without, yet finding a way, um, for each of them to thrive. You know? And I don't really understand all of the things that contribute to a person's inability to move forward. I imagine that it is so specific. Um, and I know that, you know, past traumas and a mil and access to healthcare and resources, there's so many things that go into it.Our generation, Being able to go to a therapist and or be on an antidepressant without nearly the stigma that our parents had, right? Like, that's a massive leap forward. Um, so there are lots of reasons, but you won't, you won't move forward. If you can't take responsibility for your own shit, you just won't truth, you know?Not that it's easy to do. It is not easy. It's, it's not easy. It's just about the hardest thing, but it gets easier the more you do it. It really does. It's never easy, but it gets easier, I think. But it does get easier because the work becomes more familiar. It's not as, as scary a place as the first time you choose to be so vulnerable to show either someone else or just be honest with yourself about those, those parts of yourself that you, you're embarrassed of or that are dark or that are, you know, have been hurtful or harmful to someone else.But then, Like anything, the more you do it, the more you practice being authentic, the less grip that it has on you and, and you begin to trust the outcome of, of that behavior. Where before it was this big, scary unknown thing and the risk was so huge. But the more you do it, the more you know ultimately what lies on the other side.Yeah. Is where you wanna be. Yeah. And that you'll be okay. You won't die from it. And that everyone else is just as scared to do the same thing and everyone else is hiding or gripping to some similar insecurity or fear. And the more that you just face it and let it out and talk about it, the more you realize we're all pretty similar.Yes. Uh, you know, I think for me, my parents' unhappiness has been a big motivating factor in my own life to not end up in that place and that. Impetus, Right. That, that was my compass of like, well then that means I'm number one. I'm not gonna stay in a miserable marriage. Number two, I've gotta get help for the shit that that is mine.And, and number three, I, I'm gonna have to start tearing apart some of this stuff that I, I've been taught and that we've grown up in that is keeping us broken and tied down. And, and that means walking away from like, Huh. Big existential life defining, you know, not qualities, but like beliefs and, and, and be trusting that I'll be able to withstand the rejection and the disappointment, or, and there was that, you know, from my mom and dad.And then eventually they came around because they love us. They love my sister and I And was it easy at first? Oh my God, no. It was horrible. It was horrible. And I knew that they were disappointed, maybe even embarrassed of me. But in the end, they, they lovingly said, Yeah, oh, we were really wrong. Wow. But yeah, so then through all of that saying yes and exploration, and it was a, it feels like a real messy time.It was a messy, exciting, maybe I started to say reckless, so it probably was in certain moments, reckless maybe that I, because I was so intent unlike, what is this? What is this? I was not fit for up to be a partner to another person at that time. Right. Or a long term partner by any means. So that's what I mean, reckless, Um, because I was too, I was, I was too ready to just move around.And from thing to thing and thing, I didn't, I did not want any other relationship after. 10 years married and 12 years together. And it was so hard and so sad to disentangle myself from that, that I was like, Nope, , let's just play for a while. Yeah. Yeah. And you did, and then you met Kyle and then, Then I met my husband, my, now my number two husband, he always says two and not through.And I'm like, Yes, I'm through . But I would not say, I would not say till death do us part in our vows because I no longer believe in that. Not that I don't believe in death, I do, but what I'm saying is I don't believe you have to promise someone your whole fucking life, cuz nobody knows that. Yeah. So, yes.Okay. So you met, so you, so you met Kyle. Yeah. What, what did you think of Kyle when you first met him? I thought that he was a very. Labrador of a person, just so much. He was so much, and there were so many emojis and exclamation points, and he, he was really happy and I, I felt like Kyle was a lot. It was, he, he was so laser focused on me, which in some ways was amazing.Yeah. I'd never had someone who was like, You, you're it , you know? I mean, I guess, but not, not in that way. Or maybe I, What I should say is I'd never had someone who was the type of person Kyle was, say something like that. The people who had said it before. Were people who were emotionally unavailable. So when they would say, You, you're it, they, it would be like half of a piece of toast.And I'd be like, Thank you, . Kyle said, You're, it's like, Here is past of Whole Foods. He's like, You done it all. Um, I and I, it was so much, it was so much and a lot, and he was very different than any person I had ever, ever dated. And I was very skeptical. . So skeptical. There was not a dark or brooding. Shred in his entire existence.And that was what I generally was attracted to, was like these, you know, injured, hurt, addict, sexy men. Even if I didn't know that about them, if I was drawn to them nine times outta 10, that, that, that was all in the mix somewhere. Um, Kyle was none of those things. And so the Compass, one of my friends told me, Girl, your picker is broken.So my broken picker was like, Nah, , no thanks. Woo. Where were you in your journey of figuring yourself out at this point, would you say? Um, I was still, I was still dating around. Mm-hmm. . Um, I had had one like longer term relationship right after I had left my husband. Um, and I had ended that relationship. Um, Because that person had a significant drinking problem.I had had no intention of settling down really with any person. But I do think, I do think I did eventually wanna find another partner, but I didn't wanna get married again at all. Why , Why do you, why did you hang out with Kyle? Kyle is like magic. There's no other person in my life that I have ever connected with in the way that I connect to Kyle.He makes me laugh. And it is a, it is a, an, uh, it throws me off balance every time I get, It's a silly way to say it, but I get tickled, right? Like he's still to this day will. Catch, like say things and it catches me off guard. And I am delighted by him. And even though he was nerdy and, um, you know, like I mentioned before, like more, definitely more clean cut and just not, like I said, not anything like the guy that, that guys that I had normally gone for something about him when I was around him, I was relaxed.Mm. And I That's huge. Yeah. I relaxed and I had so much fun and. A, a girlfriend of mine at the time, I remember saying to her like, I don't know. Right? Like, I don't know if he's gonna be alpha enough for me. Like, God, what a conti thing to say. But that is what I said by all means. I was not like fully realized as a person that Jesus at that point in time, and we probably aren't ever, but I didn't know if our chemistry was gonna be enough or if he was gonna be, you know, exciting enough for me or whatever.I actually, this is something that I wanted to talk about because I think we get. So used to the like excitement, like the artists who are, you know, intense and brooding and dangerous and sexy and the excitement and danger of not knowing what's next. Do they love me? Are they playing games with me? Will I ever see them again?You know? Yeah. And when and how. And then you see them again and it's like you feel like you are everything in the earth. Sure. It's a horrible cycle. Yeah. Yeah. It's a cycle. And then, but then it's like that that anxiousness, that a accompanies like the volatility of those types of relationships I think is what we often mistake for chemistry.Like we think that's true. The excitement, We think it's excitement. We think it's attraction, but it's really anxiety. And so then when we meet someone's, and it's, yes, it's from a trauma childhood, a hundred percent. And then when we meet someone romantically who like doesn't. Make us feel those same ups and downs, then we are in this position where we're like, I don't know, like he's great, but I feel like something's missing.Or like, there's no chemistry. And it's like, No, what we're missing is the instability that we are so accustomed to, but we, we, we interpret his chemistry. Yep, Yep. It's, I mean, I don't even think that I really, I really understood all of that, but you just spoke about until, oh, Jesus, I don't know, maybe four or five years, maybe even.I'm not even sure I understood it when I married Kyle. I don't, I'm not sure I could have articulated it that well. Um, I don't think I understood this until, honestly, just a few months ago, , you know, Kyle was stable and safe and probably the biggest difference between him and and everyone else in my life up to that point is that Kyle put all his cards on the table right at the get go and.I think that number one, I didn't know what to do with all that. And number two, the allure of like, who is this person? Or is this, you know, like, like what we talked about with a person who is not fully invested. That was what my normal was. And that there's part of a chase, right? And, uh, you, you learn to evaluate your own self worth with whether or not you succeed in getting this person's attention.Slash commitment a thousand percent, right? Yeah. And so where's the thrill that you're used to with a person who's like, Hey, I'm here all, every bit of me. Let's do this all the time. And you're like,Um, but I had a very, that very good friend that I was talking about, she said, you know, well, , if there's anything at all that you like about him, go on another date. Just go on a date, another date until you are sure that no. Okay. I know, and I could not deny that every time we did anything, I never felt better.I never once had a bad time even, even on like, you know, like awkward dates or whatever, which are inevitable. He still , he still always managed to just, I don't know, be he's, Kyle is exactly who he is. He, there's no pretense with him and he, he is willing to be in his own life a hundred percent and be present and answer questions and.I had never had that before with a person, so it felt overwhelming. Mm-hmm. . But it was also this new land. It it was safe. It was a place to be stable. Yeah. And I could relax. I, I don't know that I ever had relaxed in a relationship before, ever. The, And it built off of that. Right. And I, I think that number one, he was tremendously patient.And, uh, number two, he gave me space when I asked for space. And I was not ready when I met him to be his girlfriend at all. And I said that, and. He wanted to , he was, I think what he said was, I, this is like two or three months after we'd gone out on our first date or something, and he was like, I wanna date you.I wanna date this shit outta you, . And I said, Do you so cute? Do you mean like exclusively? And he was like, Yes, Rebecca, yes. And I was like, No, I can't, I can't do that. I'm not, I'm not ready for that. Um, if it makes you feel any better, you're in first place. And, but I can't, He says, he said later, he was like, That's all I needed to hear.I knew, like, he was like, I could see, he was like, The guys you dated that were terrible people, , he like, knew eventually come to senses. Wow. But I did, I did have to just take my time. And I, I think about, I moved to LA during that time. I lived by myself during that time and we did, We dated other people.Right? I did. Yeah. And not very many, like one or two guys and I not for very long. And I was clear with Kyle. I told him I'm, I'm gonna date people when I go out there. I, you know, if I, if I decide to sleep with anybody else but you, I'll let you know because I feel like that is, you know, respectful practice.But I really think that I was healing as a person and that the time I was taking with myself and making my own choices and living my own life allowed me to slowly see Kyle for the gift that he really was. Um, and as I was in LA in a new place, still being drawn towards the same old type of person at the same time, I was disappointed in them, which had never happened before.Ah, that's interesting. I was like, one guy in particular, I remember. I, I, we'd been making out or something and, and I was like, Are you, I've got a question for you. You know how you are when you're dumb and dating somebody at the beginning. And I was like, Are you ever silly? Do you ever, you know, are you, would you ever call yourself a silly person?And he was like, No, no, never. Oh, bored. And I, yeah, I felt my stomach kind of sink. And what I realized was, Oh, I'm valuing different things now. Like the, the love and delight and, and just spontaneity and silliness that comes with Kyle that I really like. I like it in my life and I like it as a part of me.I don't wanna date somebody who doesn't have that, and that would never have been a quality that was important to me a couple years prior. But I, I don't think I, I would've been able to appreciate it any earlier in life than I did. You know, That's why I say, I, I said yes to Kyle when he when he said, I'll go to the movies with you.Uh, because I had made a commitment to saying yes, not because I looked at him and was like, Oh yeah, hey. Right. That was not it. I remember thinking like, Okay, and I thought he might be gay, and I was like, Maybe you'll be my new gay friend that I go to movies with. Like, I had no idea what I was getting into at all with this person, and it changed my entire life and is the very, the very best thing that has ever happened to me.So, you know, it's him and him knowing himself and giving me space to know myself. When was the point or what was the point where you understood that you were ready to commit fully to Kyle? It's, it's, it was around that same time I was talking about that guy and I, I called my sister because Kyle, we'd been dating now for a year and a half and I still wouldn't.Commit to being, I hated this, but I was like, I'm, I'm not gonna be your girlfriend. I was married for a decade, for Christ's sake. I don't wanna be somebody's girlfriend. Right? Like, that just sounds so dumb. But I kept calling him the guy I'm seeing . And he was like, Yeah, that's really not, Yeah, that's so clearly.I had some hangups. Um, but I called my sister and I was like, I don't know Laura. Like, I like this guy. And he's, you know, the chemistry is just really exciting, but I kind of also feel like we might just burn each other out and, you know, but then I asked him, Is he silly? And he was like, No. And like, being silly was some kind of like disease or something.And I, and then Kyle and she, and she said to me, and Becky is what I was called growing up, by the way. So she was like, Becky, look, , there will always be more guys. Okay, Always. But Kyle is not gonna wait on you forever. So you need to just go ahead and decide. , either you're gonna be in a relationship with him and figure out if it works or just stop.And in that moment that sounded very clear to me and made sense. And I was like, Yeah, actually I need to stop waiting to, because I'm scared to see if it will be enough and I need to figure out if it will be or not. And um, so I think it was maybe two days later that he had already, we'd already had a trip planned for him to fly to LA and I told him, Yeah, okay, I want to do this and I wanna see what that means for me.And then we've been together ever since. So, , you took a lot of risks with Kyle, meaning I did like you moved to California and dating other people, and all of the things you just described, you mentioned to me. Phone call that you felt like you had or you had to be okay with losing Kyle. Yes. In order to arrive at a place of trust in yourself.That is hundred percent true. It seems like you always had a lot of trust in yourself, like even from early on, I mean, breaking off your engagement and mm-hmm. leaving your family and your religion and Yeah. Leaving a marriage. Like how do you consistently show up for yourself and have your own back in these moments of hard decisions and moments when maybe other people you're close with think you're making mistake?Um, thank you for saying that. I am not a person who enjoys dissonance or conflict. It's necessary. I've spent a lot of time in therapy learning that you can hold two opposing things at the same time, and they can both very much be true. Um, it is an uncomfortable place for me when something feels wrong inside of me or unjust.It is almost like I cannot even swallow. I can't, My chest gets too tight. I, I don't feel like I can move forward or take another step until I am righted within myself. In the instance when I was young, really young and engaged, I didn't have any good reason to. To break off that engagement except that I didn't want to get married.Well, that right there is a good enough reason, right? But not when you've already bought a wedding dress and you have bridesmaids dresses and you've got the photographer and you've been dating for two years, and you're gonna be missionaries together for the glory of the Lord and da da da. There was a whole lot invested in this relationship and how it appeared, but something didn't feel good and enough to where I was like having panic attacks and I, I was really sick to my stomach a lot of the time, and I, I just couldn't do it.AndI think for me, at least in the two relationships before Kyle, I reached such a pro, sadly, a profoundly dark place in my life that I didn't want. I just, that's wasn't what I wanted my fucking life to be like. I. I did not want to stay in West Virginia. I love West Virginia. I love my, my parents and my friends in my home.And, but I, I have always wanted to experience everything I get my hands on. And, um, I think the deepest part of me knew that that wasn't gonna happen in that relationship. And, and, and I got, I, I, like, I could go into it further, but I got really sick. I weighed 103 pounds. I couldn't eat. I was having panic attacks.It's the first time I started seeing a therapist. And it was because I was trying to force myself into this idea of what was right and good and holy and, you know, and it wasn't for me. And then when it came to leaving my marriage, I was miserable. I was, I was just so fucked up and broken and sad from this square peg, round hole arrangement.And it took so much undoing because I grew up in a place of marriages forever. You don't get divorced. Not unless he's hitting you, right. And even then you might not. And he was a very, he was a good man, quote unquote, right? So I think it'd be nice to say that I knew some secret way to be in tune with myself, but actually I just was so god damn miserable both times that I couldn't keep doing it.And. You know, I suppose there are, there are a couple things, right? So as I'm talking this out, we talked about verbal processing and what do you learn? Mm-hmm. . Um, first one, first engagement. No, I knew I didn't wanna stay at home. That was not my plan. So that was a deep core value in me. Whether I had defined it that way or not.Second marriage was kids. Um, that's probably what did it. Uh, we both wanted kids very much, but we were a mess. My first husband and an I and I wa I was not going to do to my children. What was done to me firmly, firmly made that promise. And so for three years, every New Year's Eve, we made a promise. This is the year we'll get it together.This is the year we'll get our shit together and we'll try for a family. And, and we never could. , and I very, very clearly remember that final New Year's Eve just being out of my body, just thinking like this is done. How much more time am I gonna waste? How much more time am I gonna waste? Because I wanted kids and I wanted them, but I wanted to give them what I didn't have.So I trusted those deep, deep things in myself that were calling out to me. And I don't know if that's helpful to anybody else who's trying to figure it out or not, but that's how it helped. I mean, that's how it felt to me. Yeah. And that's what, That's why Kyle, I think I, I've said before, the way he is, the humor that.It's like he has some sort of special key to a part of me that unlocked this. Like, Oh, right. Things are not so fucking hard. They're not actually, they can be really fun and really easy. And that's not to say that there weren't times of tension, like you mentioned. Like I did have to be willing to let Kyle go.I didn't know from the get go, I knew more, Oh, I still need space here. No, I'm not ready to fucking put a ring on my finger. No. Like things like that that I had to be willing to say. And I guess you, you asked how did I know I'd come that far? At that point, I was in my late thirties and I was like, Nah, this has been working for me.Right. This listening and trusting, so I'm just gonna keep doing it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you wanted ultimately, it sounds like. Yeah. I, I was so tired of being afraid. Yeah. Afraid that I was making the wrong choice. Afraid that I was making God mad, afraid that I was gonna ruin my life, afraid that, whatever, you know, And I just refused to be afraid anymore.And, and that meant, that actually just meant doing what I wanted to do and facing the consequences, but knowing that I'd be okay. Yeah. Okay. So you guys got married? ? We didHe wore me down. Um, you know, I, we dated for three years before we got married. Much more than five months. He is six and a half years younger than me and had never been married. Yeah. He is younger than me. I didn't, We dated for three years and he moved to LA and, you know, we had this glorious. Grand time and wonderful adventure there.And, um, I wasn't sure that I wanted to get married again because it ended, it had, it was now tied to so much sadness. The idea of it, like my parents' marriage was always fucked, but then my own marriage that I really, really wanted to work did not. And so I, I just really wanted nothing to do with it. And then he like eased me into the conversation and he goes, Well, what if we just had a small, like, private ceremony, not even legal, just in the backyard with close friends.And then he was like, Well, I kind of feel like if we're gonna have kids, we should get married. And then also, my husband's mother had cancer and, and Kyle had never been married. And I just sort, it all just sort of went away and I was like, Fuck it. He can, you know, he wants this, right? Like it's a dream of his, and I'm sure, and I know his mother wanted him to have that experience.And so I was like, whatever , I'll just, I'll just it up. But they, I also, like, I didn't change my name and um, I said, No, I'm not saying till death do you part, like that's, I don't you Kyle, you know that? I don't believe that anything. We just don't know what the future holds. Yeah. Um, and he was like, Great, great, great.I love all of it. He goes, Just let me project the bat signal when we exit after we're married. Can I do that? What? I was like, I know, I forgot that I didn't tell you this. My husband loves Batman. Oh my God, this is amazing. Go on. Is it, is it, Well, Molly, is it, I dunno. Was with a deep undying devotion and the church took down.Is it pyramids or estimates, the like stuff that hangs at the front big wall of the church and one of our friends got a Batman gobo and a big light from one of the studios and we projected the bat signal and played the Danny Elfman Batman thing when we exited the church. Yeah. So he owes me forever. So it might not be until death do you part, but he owes you till death to part was right.Like, and everybody knows this about Kyle, like here's how deep his love goes for Batman. Mm-hmm not only does he have a Batman tattoo, he's got tons of Batman everything. My husband dressed up as Batman and went to Lurie Children's Hospital of his own accord. He knew someone there and would go and talk to the kid, like just to think.He didn't tell people he was doing it. It was just a thing he. That's the man I'm married. I , I, yeah. Adore him. He's amazing. I've only met him once very, very briefly. hardly talked to him at all, but he was a wonderful human being. What a guy. What a guy. Yeah. Yeah. So I, you know, like in the end I'm always like, Okay, fine.Whatever. . Yeah, yeah. Right, Because he's, because he's great. So, and I wanna be real clear, we fight, Okay. Everybody, we fight. I have said horrible things to him. He has said horrible things to me. Every, We have two children now. We're so fucking tired. We barely have sex like that. You know, I, I wanna be really honest.Everything is not like glorious and perfect. Yeah. But I love him. I love him, and he is my partner and. We are, we are honest with each other and we are kind to each other more than we are not. And that is, I I, I didn't know that partnership could be like this. We work really hard on ourselves to bring our best selves to this partnership and now to our kids, like we're in it to win it with these babies.They are, they are our everything. So that means you don't fuck around. Right. It's their life. Yeah. It's their life and you are their safe space. So tell me what part of you, if any, feels settled. Mm-hmm. . And what part of you, if any, feels wanting for more stillsettled. I, I mean, I got my family, right? I got a partner that I love and I. We did ended up having to do ivf. It was a whole thing, but we got two kids. Um, that is settled sometimes. I can't believe that I ended up with this fairy tale of, of things being as good as they are unsettled. It's a given and take.Right? I miss traveling. I miss the freedom of. Kids mostly have hampered that, but like, let's go get a cocktail and get wasted . Right? That doesn't happen anymore. You've wrecked, you wrecked for two days now and you can't parent like that. Spirit of full disclosure, Kyle and I talked like, would we ever be in an open relationship?Is that something that we would ever consider? And I was like, Yeah, I'd consider it. And he was like, No, I would not consider it. . Which probably comes as a surprise to absolutely know one. Do you, do you dress up as Catwoman for him? ? Oh yeah. Molly, have I have? Uh, yeah, it's photo evidence nonsense. Oh my God.Thank you for answering that very hard question. Um, I'm, well I guess I'll just ask you this because we talked about it earlier. What, through this conversation, what have you learned about yourself? Um, I think. The thing that sticks out and you ask me like, how have you always trusted yourself?I, I have a lot of thought swirling around that. Um,because I feel for so long that I didn't trust myself. In fact, I was taught not to trust myself. What I was taught is that we are inherently evil and that our desires are always gonna be sinful. And that what you have to do is learn what God wants for your life and learn what, what God's path is. And that is so profoundly damaging to a human being to say, No, don't trust yourself cuz what you want is probably wrong.And I think that's why I stayed in certain situations for so long. , even though I knew I didn't like it, I didn't know how to justify my own feelings. So maybe just remembering that I am capable of more than I really, I don't ever view myself the way that you described just now. Um, I always feel a lot more scared and fragile and bruised than I guess it appears.Right. And trying to bring those two things together, right. What I'm capable of and what I've been through. And then also recognizing that sometimes I stilla am am as lost as the next person, you know, And that you'll get through that. Yeah. Cuz you have before. Sure. Sure. Yes. . Yes. And when it feels like shit, just know that this is just the time for feeling like shit. You know? I think I mentioned this to you in one of our phone calls, but it stuck with me and it stuck with me when I was going through my divorce.But, um, when a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it actually liquefies its whole body does before it reemerges as a butterfly, it literally turns to goo its whole self before the metamorphosis. Metamorphosis. And I forget which author, you know, wrote about that, but, but that there are times in our lives when we are goo and you are gonna feel like goo, like shit, like just a, a mess, a glob of a human.And that's, I think I'm in that phase being a parent of two young children. You know, mid post pan Pandemic pandemic. Where are we at now? Who the fuck knows? Um, 44 years old in my career where the value is on 24 year olds, right? Like there's a lot of my aging parents there. There's a lot of new territory for me right now.Um, and I am, like I said, I am tired. Um, and just remembering that feeling like this is, is literally an essential, if not the most essential part of the transformation. So, Well said. Someone else said it, but I'll repeat it. , No. Whatever.I think about it a lot though. I'm like, Oh, I'm due right now. I'm, I'm, I'm a mess right now. And that is just, I always ask people to introduce themselves in the, in the beginning, however you introduce yourselves. And I'm curious, without using titles such as actor, wife, or mother or whatever, how would you define your identity?I am Rebecca Ward, A lover of people and words, and tastes and sounds and smells. I cannot wait for every new adventure. I, I always used to say that you can't have, that You can have everything. Yes, you can. You may not be able to have it all at the same time, but you can have everything. I don't like it when people tell me no.So . Okay, good. I'm glad that you said that. Sure you can. Thank you. Thank you. I needed to hear that good. Yeah. I mean, you know, it, it, there's no limitations. What is it that I think Deepak Chopra always talks about the field of limitless possibilities. We live in a field of limitless possibilities. Yes. I, I like just thinking about that and then taking a deep breath.There's something inherently hopeful that goes along with that statement, you know? Yes. I love that. I feel like that's the, the whole point and theme of this entire podcast. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, things will come out of the woodwork that you never expected. My nickname for Kyle is Left Field because that's exactly where he came from.Thank you to David Ben Perra for Sound Engineering. Dan Daven for music, David Harper for artwork. I'm Molly Cider. I am This age is produced by Jellyfish Industries. And hey, if you're loving these episodes, don't forget to rate review, and most importantly, share with everyone you know. We need help growing this show so we can keep sharing stories.If you have an idea for a podcast and need someone to produce it for you, email info@jellyfishindustries.com, or if you're struggling in your next life journey and you need support, contact molly@jellyfishindustries.com for a free discovery coaching call. See you all next time.

The Divine Language of Coincidence

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 37:53 Transcription Available

The Divine Language of Coincidence with Sophia Demas In this episode we get curious about: How Sophia started to get messages from beyond Miracle in her 60s Coincidences happen to everyone What is a miracle Significant and insignificant miracles To learn more about our guest: Website: https://my.captivate.fm/sophiademas.com (sophiademas.com) FB: @thedivinelanguageofcoincidence Twitter/IG: @sophia_demas Offer: One signed copy of her book, The Devine Language of Coincidence, to the first person to contact her at Demas@USA.net. Please add Curiously Wise Podcast to your subject line! Book: https://amzn.to/3ouBzMY (https://amzn.to/3ouBzMY) Movie recommended: Crash, 2005 Oscar - best movie of the year -- currently available on HBOMax To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://heartlightjoy.com/ (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-interview-episode-with-sophia-demas (Transcript Here)

language divine crash copyright coincidence transcript here

Do You Know How to Breathe Correctly?

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2022 33:47 Transcription Available

Do You Know How to Breathe Correctly? with Karese Laguerre In this episode we get curious about: What is Myofunctional Therapy Why is breath so important What is dynamic breath and why it is important What is restorative breathing How to breathe better Connection of breathing to the quality of sleep Proper nasal hygiene To learn more about our guest: Website: http://www.themyospot.com/ (http://www.themyospot.com/) FB: http://facebook.com/themyospot (http://facebook.com/themyospot) IG: http://instagram.com/themyospot (http://instagram.com/themyospot) Blog: http://www.airwaymatters.blog/ (http://www.airwaymatters.blog/) Books: Accomplished: How to Sleep Better, Eliminate Burnout, and Execute Goals. https://amzn.to/3RUhYDp (https://amzn.to/3RUhYDp ) To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://heartlightjoy.com/ (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-interview-episode-with-karese-laguerre (Transcript Here)

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Episode 208: Franchise Investments with Kim Daly

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2022 64:01

Episode: Franchise Investments with Kim DalyGuest: Kim Daly is an independent franchise consultant with FranChoice. She is also the co-author of Franchising Freedom & Mission Matters Volume 5, Top Tips to Success.Big Idea: Kim Daly is an expert in franchise investment. Kim Daly has spent the last 20 years helping people achieve financial freedom by enabling them to find the perfect franchise opportunities. Her skill for matching a client's background, interests, skills, finances and life goals to the ideal opportunity has made her one of the top franchise consultants in the country. On today's episode we discuss the way some real estate investors transition from house flipping to owning a portfolio of franchise businesses-which might be a great solution in today's low inventory real estate market. We also discuss the process of getting started and then building to scale, where you reap the real rewards of the franchise business.This Episode of The REI Diamonds Show is Sponsored by the Deal Machine. This Software Enables Real Estate Investors to Develop a Reliable & Low Cost Source of Off Market Deals. For a Limited Time, You Get Free Access at http://REIDealMachine.com/ This Episode is Also Sponsored by the Lending Home. Lending Home Offers Reliable & Low Cost Fix & Flip Loans with Interest Rates as Low as 6.49%. Buy & Hold Loans Offered Even Lower. Get a FREE IPad when you Close Your First Deal by Registering Now at http://REILineOfCredit.comResources mentioned in this episode:How to Invest in a Franchise Business with Jon OstensonView the Episode Description & Transcript Here:https://reidiamonds.com/franchise-investments-with-kim-daly/Kim & I Discuss Franchise Investing: Is Franchising Safe in an Uncertain Economy? Why does Franchising Grow in Challenging Times? How to Find the RIGHT Franchise for You Best Franchise Opportunities in the Market Today Relevant Episodes: (There are 208 Content Packed Interviews in Total) Virtual Wholesale Real Estate Investing with Brandon Barnes Economic Forecast 2021 with Paul Sloate Jason Balin on Funding Flips in the 2017 Market How to Rehab a House the RIGHT Way with Van Sturgeon

You're Not Crazy: Experiencing Energy with Denise Neveux

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2022 47:46 Transcription Available

You're Not Crazy: Experiencing Energy with Denise Neveux In this episode we get curious about: How do you know whether the energy you are picking up is yours or not What is esoteric healing What a medium is Clairvoyance: Clairvoyance Objective and Clairvoyance Subjective Clairsentience Clairaudience: Clairaudience Objective and Clairvoyance Subjective To learn more about our guest: Website: https://www.blueheronhealing-tidewater.com (https://www.blueheronhealing-tidewater.com) Listener Offer: 15 minute free reading if you email Denise Neveux at blueheronhealingtidewater@gmail.com with the answers to three questions. Other than Reiki, what else does she teach? What is the name of the light being that she channels? And name three things in this podcast that you didn't know before listening to it. If you answer those three, you've got a 15 minutes free reading! To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-interview-episode-with-denise-neveux (Transcript Here)

energy experiencing reiki copyright transcript here

Dancing with Your Chosen Food Plan

Roadmap to Diet Success

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2022 29:54 Transcription Available

Episode 12: Dancing With Your Chosen Food PlanIn this episode, hear how 30+ years of experience as a belly dance teacher and performer helped me turn dance lessons into plate lessons. Truly, there is an escape route out of diet prison and that is learning to dance with your chosen food plan. See the list of dance-to-plate lessons below to get a glimpse of the dancing you will be doing in this episode.1:12. Personal Story4:00. Dance-to-Plate Lessons (lesson 1)7:31. Lesson 2: Your mindset and paying attention9:07. Lesson 3: Notice how food makes you feel10:47. Lesson 4: Practice!12:43. Lesson 5: Putting steps to music15:24. Lesson 6: Branching out18:49. Lesson 7: This and not also that21:52. Lesson 8: Non-negotiables23:26. Build your own road26:21. This weeks actionable COACHING ADVICE27:04. Special OfferEpisode 14, coming upFacebookInstagramDancing with Low Carb and KetoOperation FootprintAccess the Transcript Here

practice dance putting lesson dancing chosen low carb branching food plan transcript here

What is Low Carb?

Roadmap to Diet Success

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2022 24:53 Transcription Available

Episode 11: What is Low Carb?It is easy to stay out of diet prison if you learn the bones of keto and add to them 2-3 carbohydrate servings a day, while slightly reducing your fat intake. In this episode there are exact steps for what carbohydrates to add and when and how to add them. Triggers are discussed so that you will learn not to fear any foods, but learn your limits in adding certain items. Eventually nothing will be off limits - unless physically you cannot have them - as you learn how to slowly add up-to-now restricted foods to your eating plan.1:12. Personal Story4:30. The "bones" of Keto5:51. Low carb can be easy!11:00. What mistakes are we making?12:26. Why are we making these mistakes?14:54. What is the cost of making these mistakes?16:14. This week's actionable COACHING ADVICE21:10. Special Offer 23:25. Episode 12, coming upBreaking Free From Diet Prison BOOKBreaking Free From Diet Prison COURSEAccess to Transcript Here

triggers low carb transcript here

Karma and Soul Walking with Dr Lynn Anderson

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 30:01 Transcription Available

Karma and Soul Walking with Dr Lynn Anderson In this episode we get curious about: [00:02:03] What is Karma? [00:03:31] We are here to do some form of work [00:03:57] The four great passions in life [00:05:24] We chose our parents and our bodies according to Karma [00:07:46] We are here for the soul [00:13:42] There are things that block us from working on our karma [00:15:47] Work on your karma by learning to step back [00:18:25] Soul walking To learn more about our guest: Website: https://www.doctorlynn.com/ (HOME | Doctorlynn) FB: https://web.facebook.com/DrLynnAnderson?_rdc=1&_rdr (Doctor Lynn (facebook.com)) IG: https://www.instagram.com/doctorlaa/ (Doctor Lynn (@doctorlaa) • Instagram photos and videos) Twitter: https://twitter.com/drlynnanderson (https://twitter.com/drlynnanderson) Other: https://www.youtube.com/user/doctorlynn/feed (https://www.youtube.com/user/doctorlynn/feed) To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-interview-episode-with-dr-lynn-anderson (Transcript Here)

soul work walking karma copyright lynn anderson transcript here

Sound Healing with Lisa Miller

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2022 35:23 Transcription Available

Sound Healing with Lisa Miller In this episode we get curious about: [00:04:12] Everything is created by sound [00:05:17] Mantra is very important [00:06:32] Chanting for a few minutes can open new things [00:06:52] The gong can attune our cells through different frequencies [00:10:09] Gongs and its different uses [00:11:37] Sound plus intention equals healing [00:13:27] We are conditioned to stick to our habits [00:14:41] The key to intention is actually feeling into the future [00:17:26] We must take responsibility for our own individual journey [00:21:10] We all have our own special vibration [00:28:10] Our heartbeats are sound healing To learn more about our guest: Website: https://www.fullcirclewilliamsburg.com/ (Yoga and Pilates| Full Circle | Williamsburg, VA (fullcirclewilliamsburg.com)) FB: https://www.facebook.com/lisasound (https://www.facebook.com/lisasound) IG: https://www.instagram.com/siri_livtar/ (https://www.instagram.com/siri_livtar/ ) Freebie/Offer: Links: https://biosonics.com (https://biosonics.com) Dr. John Beaulieu https://www.healingsounds.com/product/the-humming-effect-book/ (https://www.healingsounds.com/product/the-humming-effect-book/ ) Jonathon and Andi Goldman To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-interview-episode-with-lisa-miller (Transcript Here)

sound yoga fb va mantra copyright sound healing chanting lisa miller gongs transcript here

Game Theory and How it Relates to Our Lives with Alex Wittig

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2022 40:11 Transcription Available

Game Theory and How it Relates to Our Lives with Alex Wittig In this episode we get curious about: [00:02:57] The concept of Game Theory [00:05:40] Stop planning past the second thing [00:10:01] Failure doesn't mean anyone is responsible for it [00:14:01] Magic is a lot like poker [00:15:26] Knowing your outs [00:16:48] Move on and win the game [00:19:26] Speed running explained [00:23:28] It's not necessary to follow every rule in the game [00:27:48] We need change culturally To learn more about our guest: Twitter: @azinta4 To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-interview-episode-with-alex-wittig (Transcript Here)

magic failure speed copyright our lives relates game theory wittig transcript here

Embracing Vulnerability with Laurin Wittig

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2022 20:57 Transcription Available

Embracing Vulnerability with Laurin Wittig In this episode we get curious about: [00:01:38] Vulnerability as uncertainty [00:02:00] Fear of being judged [00:03:02] Vulnerability is like a superpower [00:07:10] Vulnerability is a gift we can give to others and ourselves [00:08:21] You are not alone in those feelings [00:11:01] It's okay to be vulnerable [00:13:25] Ask yourself what is making you feel vulnerable. [00:15:14] What am I resisting? To learn more about our guest: Website: https://heartlightjoy.com/ (https://HeartLightJoy.com) FB: https://www.facebook.com/HeartLightJoy/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/heartlightjoy/ (Laurin Wittig (@heartlightjoy) • Instagram photos and videos) To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-solo-episode-of-laurin-wittig (Transcript Here)

fear embracing fb vulnerability copyright laurin wittig transcript here

Yoga, Meditation and Essential Oils for Healing with Asha McLaughlin

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2022 38:38 Transcription Available

Yoga, Meditation and Essential Oils for Healing with Asha McLaughlin In this episode we get curious about: • [00:06:12] Design is like marrying of messages and images as an intellectual art form • [00:07:02] Go way deeper on whatever you do by partnering with an expert • [00:07:26] When your heart and mind are aligned, clarity if paramount and your path unfold with ease • [00:08:01] Stress distracts us from what we are trying to do • [00:09:27] The foundation for your business to grow and evolve is based on your root intention and clarity • [00:12:25] Figuring out the real nuggets and what sets you apart can help attract who's meant to work with you • [00:13:13] There are seasons in our lives and there are different things that strike us • [00:13:56] Plants can speak to us and heal us • [00:18:17] Essential oils can do wonders in our emotional, physical and mental wellbeing • [00:18:53] Breath, plus the oils is a profound calming, focusing grounding bunch of tools • [00:23:02] Yoga and meditation go hand in hand • [00:25:08] Shavasana, the final surrender • [00:26:30] Yoga creates the condition for meditation to happen To learn more about our guest: Website: http://www.bloomwellness.info/ IG: @bloomwellness.asha To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/transcript-interview-episode-with-asha-mclaughlin (Transcript Here)

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Episode 207: Nashville Tennessee Real Estate Development with HBG Capital Founder Brandon Cobb

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2022 65:18

Episode: Nashville Tennessee Real Estate Development with HBG Capital Founder Brandon CobbGuest: Nashville Tennessee Real Estate Investor Brandon Cobb is the founder of HBG Capital. He is also a licensed and bonded General Contractor in TN managing more than $1O Million of new development annually.Big Idea: Investing in Nashville Tennessee real estate is like most of the U.S. at the time of this recording: Low inventory combined with an insanely inflationary environment. There is also a housing shortage which has created profitable conditions for residential real estate developers who are capable of building with scarce & expensive building materials and labor. Not an easy task. On today's episode Brandon & I discuss this situation and the system he's developed to build profitably. Shall we begin?This Episode of The REI Diamonds Show is Sponsored by the Deal Machine. This Software Enables Real Estate Investors to Develop a Reliable & Low Cost Source of Off Market Deals. For a Limited Time, You Get Free Access at http://REIDealMachine.com/This Episode is Also Sponsored by the Lending Home. Lending Home Offers Reliable & Low Cost Fix & Flip Loans with Interest Rates as Low as 6.99%. Buy & Hold Loans Offered Even Lower. Get a FREE IPad when you Close Your First Deal by Registering Now at http://REILineOfCredit.comResources mentioned in this episode:http://www.hbgcapital.net/For Access to Real Estate Deals You Can Buy & Sell for Profit:https://AccessRealEstateDeals.com/View the Episode Description & Transcript Here:https://reidiamonds.com/nashville-tennessee-real-estate-development-with-hbg-capital-founder-brandon-cobb/Brandon Cobb & I Discuss Investing in Nashville Tennessee Real Estate: Nashville Tennessee Real Estate Market Developing Residential Real Estate Lessons Learned from Losing $40,000 Getting Past a Bad Deal Relevant Episodes: (There are 207 Content Packed Interviews in Total) How to Find Motivated Sellers with David Lecko Economic Forecast 2021 with Paul Sloate Fast & Easy Multifamily Lending with StackSource Founder Tim Milazzo Kirby Atwell on Founding a Luxury Home Investment Company Growing a 1,000+ Unit Portfolio within a 20 min Radius with Jason Pero

I'm Here to Do Something More with Carly O'Connor

But Why: A Podcast for Curious Kids

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2022 29:03

I'm Here to Do Something More with Carly O'Connor In this episode we get curious about: [00:02:27] Changes happens all the time. [00:03:42] Without resistance it will be easier for us to go through any challenges. [00:04:51] Worst thing that happen to us turns out to be the most useful thing at times [00:05:48] You can become empowered. [00:09:08] Think about all of the people that you would have helped if you weren't afraid to put yourself out there. [00:13:03] Being your own boss is empowering, educating, and entertaining. [00:14:27] Take care of yourself – female sexuality. [00:14:50] The first priority needs to be ourselves. [00:17:37] You all need to be armed with the terminology to make sure you're having productive conversations To learn more about our guest: Website: http://creativezenworks.com/ (** Creative ZenWorks Healing **) FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dragonflyalchemy (Dragonfly Alchemy Spirit Circle | Facebook) Freebie/Offer: Take 10% off your First Service or product at http://creativezenworks.com/ Use code CURIOUSLYWISE on web store or at booking! To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://heartlightjoy.com/ (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/interview-episode-with-carly-o-connor (Transcript Here)

Special Episode: How do you talk to kids about violence in the news?

Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2022 16:30 Very Popular

When there's mass violence in the news, especially when it involves children, it can be really hard to know how to speak to your kids about what is going on. In this special episode FOR ADULTS, we talk with a child psychologist about some recommended ways to approach these conversations. We first released this episode in 2016, and are heartbroken and angry that it remains so relevant. Dr. Robin Gurwitch is a child psychologist at the Duke University Medical Center, and she has served on numerous commissions and committees about children and trauma, including the National Advisory Committee on Children and Disasters. Though this episode is for adults, we know children sometimes listen to episodes without adults around, so the information in this episode is intended to be non-traumatizing for children to hear. (Transcript) Here are additional links for more information: [American Psychological Association](about:blank) The National Child Traumatic Stress Network The Family Acceptance Project

children kids science nature language violence disasters american psychological association duke university medical center national advisory committee transcript here for adults

Becoming A Warrior For Possibility With Kimberly Spencer

Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2022 35:57 Transcription Available

Becoming A Warrior For Possibility With Kimberly Spencer In this episode we get curious about: [00:00:09] Women supporting women, mind, body, and spirit. [00:07:20] Keep going and keep trusting the process. [00:19:26] The key is just to keep going and keep trusting the process. [00:19:52] Becoming a warrior for possibility. [00:20:13] How she got into TEDx talk as a speaker. [00:23:21] Your life is a testimony for what's possible. [00:26:44] Trust your intuition. [00:27:42] Learning how to trust, is essential for success. To learn more about our guest: Website: https://www.crownyourselfmembers.com/a/31187/EjzgVb74 FB: https://www.facebook.com/crownyourselfnow (Crown Yourself (facebook.com)) IG: crownyourselfnow Twitter: crownyounow Other: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzwbvqzbmRk&feature=youtu.be (Becoming a Warrior for Possibility | Kimberly Spencer | TEDxCurrumbin - YouTube) To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig https://www.heartlightjoy.com/post/interview-episode-with-kimberly-spencer (Transcript Here)

women learning trust warrior tedx copyright possibility transcript here

Episode 206: Fast & Easy Multifamily Lending with StackSource Founder Tim Milazzo

Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2022 53:53

Episode: Fast & Easy Multifamily Lending with StackSource Founder Tim MilazzoGuest: Tim Milazzo is the co-founder of StackSource, a technology driven engine for funding commercial real estate deals of all types. Big Idea: Having access tofast & easy multifamily lending, or any other commercial funding, is the first step to scaling a multi-million dollar real estate portfolio. The commercial loan landscape is extremely fragmented, with many lenders focused on only certain asset types, loan sizes, or other niche spaces at any given time. StackSource is a national high volume aggregator of lenders, loan types & contacts, providing borrowers the faster method for finding the correct lender for your particular asset type. Tim & I discuss how this volume of lenders will put you in a position of strength when you're funding a deal. Obtaining multiple, competing loan term sheets can be difficult when you're buying a commercial deal because of the short timeline to closing. The StackSource platform allows you to provide details of your project-whether multi family, industrial, commercial, etc- and then matches your loan type with those lending institutions currently lending in your local market and funding your specific deal type. The end result is multiple term sheets allowing you to select the best option for your deal. This is a contrast to how I've bought my last half dozen multi family projects: calling around asking people I know who is funding this type of deal-then submitting my deal details to that single lender and obtaining one term sheet. My way is a position of weakness-I am stuck riding with that single lender on that deal. It's worked out for me because I'm lucky to have found the right lender for my type of loan. Shall we begin?This Episode of The REI Diamonds Show is Sponsored by the Deal Machine. This Software Enables Real Estate Investors to Develop a Reliable & Low Cost Source of Off Market Deals. For a Limited Time, You Get Free Access at http://REIDealMachine.com/This Episode is Also Sponsored by the Lending Home. Lending Home Offers Reliable & Low Cost Fix & Flip Loans with Interest Rates as Low as 6.99%. Buy & Hold Loans Offered Even Lower. Get a FREE IPad when you Close Your First Deal by Registering Now at http://REILineOfCredit.comResources mentioned in this episode:https://www.StackSource.com/For Access to Real Estate Deals You Can Buy & Sell for Profit:https://AccessRealEstateDeals.com/View the Episode Description & Transcript Here:https://reidiamonds.com/fast-easy-multifamily-lending-with-stacksource-founder-tim-milazzo/Dan Breslin: Welcome to the REI Diamond Show. I'm your host, Dan Breslin, and this is episode 206 on fast and easy multifamily lending with StackSource founder, Tim Milazzo. If you're into building wealth through real estate investing, you are in the right place. My goal is to identify high-caliber real estate investors and other industry service providers, invite them on the show, and then draw out the jewels of wisdom. Those tactics, mindsets, methods used to create millions of dollars more in the business of real estate. Having access to fast and easy multifamily lending or any other commercial funding is the first step to scaling a multimillion-dollar commercial real estate portfolio. The commercial loan landscape is extremely fragmented with many lenders focused only on certain asset types, or certain loan sizes, or other niche spaces at any given time. StackSource is a national, high-volume, aggregator of those lenders, loan types, contacts, etcetara, providing you, the borrower, with the faster method for finding the correct lender for your particular asset type.On today's episode, Tim and I discuss how this volume of lenders that StackSource has aggregated will put you in a position of strength when you are funding a deal. Obtaining multiple competing loan term sheets can be difficult when you're buying a commercial deal because of the short timeline to closing. It's multiple calls to the lenders that you're googling and they don't do this kind of asset type, etcetara. Whereas the StackSource platform allows you to provide the details of your project, whether multifamily, industrial. commercial, etcetera, and then matches your loan type with those lending institutions currently lending in that local market and funding your specific deal type. So, the end result is a multiple term sheets allowing you to select the best option for your deal, and then proceed with a complete loan package. And this is in contrast to how I bought my last half dozen multifamily projects which was going around, asking people I know who is funding this type of deal, and then submitting my deal details to that single lender, and obtaining a single term sheet. So, I kind of had no other options if that lender did not work out, and I didn't really have the ability to shop the deal due to lack of time and lack of contacts. Whereas I didn't have access to this platform.So, my way was a position of weakness and I'm stuck riding with that single lender on that deal. Now, luckily, it worked out for me because I found just the right lender for just the right loan type who lends in my market but that's not always the case, and the challenge can be even greater if you're investing all over the US.Tim & I Discuss StackSource & Multifamily Lending:· Hottest Sectors in Commercial Real Estate· How to Finance Multifamily Investments· Obtaining Fastest Rate & Term Quotes · Finding Commercial Funding Anywhere in the U.S.Relevant Episodes: (There are 206 Content Packed Interviews in Total) Joe Mueller, REO Broker & Investor on Picking the BEST Deals for Your Portfolio John Matheson on How to Access Commercial Credit Dan Breslin on Raising Private Money for Single Family Flips Dave Orloff on Financing Rentals & Fix & Flip Deals

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Episode 205: Avoiding Rental Property Insurance Pitfalls with Attorney Galen Hair

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2022 58:56

Episode: Rental Property Insurance Pitfalls with Attorney Galen HairGuest (Attorney Galen Hair): New Orleans Attorney Galen Hair is an expert in avoiding rental property insurance pitfalls. At any given time Galen and his team are involved in helping several hundred people obtain full payment from insurance companies for catastrophic loss. Big Idea: Rental property insurance policies are designed NOT to pay out. Galen Hair & I discuss the process for purchasing a property insurance policy. I personally own dozens of properties and have flipped well over 1,000, and I've NEVER bought insurance with the level of due diligence coached by Galen. You may not have the insurance protection you believe you bought….This Episode of The REI Diamonds Show is Sponsored by the Deal Machine. This Software Enables Real Estate Investors to Develop a Reliable & Low Cost Source of Off Market Deals. For a Limited Time, You Get Free Access at http://REIDealMachine.com/This Episode is Also Sponsored by the Lending Home. Lending Home Offers Reliable & Low Cost Fix & Flip Loans with Interest Rates as Low as 6.99%. Buy & Hold Loans Offered Even Lower. Get a FREE IPad when you Close Your First Deal by Registering Now at http://REILineOfCredit.comResources mentioned in this episode:https://www.InsuranceClaimHQ.comFor Access to Real Estate Deals You Can Buy & Sell for Profit:https://AccessRealEstateDeals.com/View the Episode Description & Transcript Here:https://reidiamonds.com/rental-property-insurance-pitfalls-with-attorney-galen-hair/Dan Breslin: Today we are joined by New Orleans Attorney Galen Hair who is an expert in avoiding rental property insurance pitfalls. At any given time, Galen and his team are involved in helping several 100 people obtain full payment from insurance companies for catastrophic losses. A catastrophic loss would be considered a very large claim usually a fire in the context of us real estate investors. The thing is, many rental property insurance policies are actually designed not to pay out completely in those catastrophic events.During this episode, Galen and I discussed the right process for purchasing a property insurance policy. I personally own dozens of properties and have flipped well over 1000 and I have never bought insurance with the level of due diligence coached by Galen on today's episode, you may not have the insurance protection that you believe you bought. Let's begin.Alright, welcome to the REI diamond show. Galen, how are you doing?Galen Hair: I'm great. How are you doing?Dan: Nice. I am also great. We had like 60-degree weather here. It's December in Chicago, which is unique for us this time of year. So no one's complaining about the weather right now. Whereabouts are you recording in from and live and invest in that kind of thing?Galen: Yeah, so our office is based in New Orleans. Essentially, that's where I live. Spend most of my time here. Unfortunately though, given my line of work, I kind of have to follow disasters where they are. So I will move around, probably head to the Midwest next week because of some tornadoes that just kind of blew through everything during hurricane season, I kind of moved from Hurricane to hurricane but most of my life and work are in New Orleans. And the weather is crazy in New Orleans if anyone follows that. So I think today, it's pretty good. It's like 65. But a couple of days ago we were in like the 30s. So it's just all over the place.Dan: So just to kind of give people a little bit of background, if you would touch on maybe some of your real estate experience, and then kind of encapsulate what it is that you do in your business model now and how that fits in for real estate investors listening.Galen: Yeah, so real estate-wise, I'm definitely an amateur. I do identify properties that make sense for us to pick up kind of in and around the New Orleans area. And what I'll do is buy those, fix them up and actively rent them out. I find that that's an easier model for me than flipping, although the markets are pretty good here. It produces revenue. So for me, as long as it's cash positive, it's an investment that I'm kind of interested in. But I don't do more than maybe two a year.Galen Hair & I Discuss Rental Property Insurance:· Rental Property Insurance Policy Pitfalls-written to avoid paying claims· How to Make a Claim in the Event of Catastrophic loss· Choosing Enough Coverage When Buying a Policy· The Sneaky Practice of “Co-Insurance”Relevant Episodes: (There are 205 Content Packed Interviews in Total) 100+ Unit Apartment Syndication with Stephanie Walter Making, then Losing $50 Million with Rod Khleif REI Diamonds Show with Michael Freedman on Verifying, Reducing, or Even Eliminating Flood Zone Designations on All Kinds of Real Estate Andy Shamberg on Property Insurance Fundamentals Probate Leads, Data, & Real Estate Deals with Bill Gross

Season 2 Trailer

All The Wrong Magic

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2022 3:01

The next chapter begins. All The Wrong Magic was created by Caleb Butler. This trailer featured Ruya Telhami, Julian Dailey, and Newt Schottelkotte. Episodes begin releasing later this spring. Transcript HERE.

transcript here

Monday News/Prayer Update 14th March 2022

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2022 8:58

Monday News/Prayer Update 14th March 2022This week please pray for:1. The NI Assembly, as they debate the Abortion Services (Safe Spaces) Bill which will criminalise Christians offering help and prayer to pregnant mothers outside abortion clinics.2. Parliament in Westminister, debating the 'Online Safety Bill' which will have the effect of censoring biblical beliefs and worldview.3. Ukraine, for those who are fleeing the conflict, for aid to be properly directed, for peace.Listen to the end for some announcements!Read the TRANSCRIPT HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

prayer christians ukraine acast parliament monday news westminister transcript here

Falling Forward in Full

Falling Forward

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2022 21:42

Falling Forward is a 10-part sci-fi micro about love, hubris, and coding too close to the sun. Content Warnings for the series include financial difficulties, invasion of privacy, and swearing. Transcript Here. Cast and Crew of Falling Forward is as follows. Theseus: Anne Baird (they/them). Icarus: Tal Minear (they/them). Ariadne: Caroline Mincks (they/them). Daedalus: Brad Colbroock (they/them/he). Writer: Caroline Mincks (they/them). Script Editor: Tal Minear (they/them). Dialogue Editor: Brad Colbroock (they/them/he). Sound Designer: Tal Minear (they/them). Transcript: Anne Baird (they/them). Website: Tal Minear (they/them).

content warnings falling forward transcript here

LECTURE - Covid Fear Vs Christian Faith

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2022 52:17

LECTURE - Covid Fear Vs Christian FaithThis talk is about fear - and perhaps, for Christians, about ‘fearlessness.' We begin with some very wise words - from the One who created mankind, and who holds all our lives in his hands. Our Creator and the only Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ.Luke 12:4-7 4 And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. 5 But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him. 6 Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? 7 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.For two years, whole nations have been paralysed with fear - fear of illness and death. But if our lives are in God's hands, what have we to fear? In this podcast, a live address given at Templepatrick Reformed Church, on 18th February 2022, we take a retrospective look at the Covid Pandemic, and the UK Government's response, the tactics used to control the population, and their effects. We suggest that we should not fear an illness, or a government's threats, - they can only hurt us in this life. We should fear the Lord, the One who can cast both body and soul into Hell, - FOREVER.Read the TRANSCRIPT HERE.Podcast episode audio with thanks to Templepatrick Reformed Church. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Ep. 10 5 Healthful Habits for Vegan Families

Vegan Kids Nutrition

Play Episode Play 28 sec Highlight Listen Later Feb 2, 2022 15:52

Raising a vegan family is much more than offering healthful plant foods. It's about ensuring that adequate nutrition is provided to support our vegan kids growth and development. In today's episode, I'm sharing with you the 5 healthful habits for vegan families to implement so that children healthfully thrive on a vegan lifestyle. Ultimately, whether you'll be starting to implement these habits or already following a few, you'll feel confident that you're doing everything you need to do to support your kids growth and development. Here's what we'll cover: >> The plant foods to prioritize >> Why focusing on calcium is important for a vegan child's growth>> How supplementation is key on a vegan diet>> How a past client changed family meal dynamics to support her child's growth>> Why having routine or rhythm in meals and snacks helps vegan kids thrive >> The benefits that come for your vegan child by having family meals Links mentioned in the episode>> Best Plant Milk for Vegan Children>> Tahini Dressing >> Vegan Kids Nutrition Blueprint program ReferencesHarrison, Megan E, et al. “Systematic Review of the Effects of Family Meal Frequency on Psychosocial Outcomes in Youth.” Canadian Family Physician Medecin De Famille Canadien, College of Family Physicians of Canada, Feb. 2015, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4325878/ U.S. Department of Agriculture and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 2020-2025. 9th Edition. December 2020. Available at DietaryGuidelines.gov. (PDF)Read the Transcript Here

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The Prism: Should a Christian be a Member of a Church?

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2022 39:59

The Prism: Should a Christian be a Member of a Church?Most evangelicals believe that membership of a local church is a proper course of action for eery believer, so that we are part of a local congregation. We should subject ourselves under the leadership of local elders to be watched over and cared for by them, as a part of a local, organic body. Similarly, most evangelicals will argue that the Bible knows nothing of solitary Christians – they are a contradiction, for becoming a Christian brings us into the body of Christ, which is expressed in the union of local bodies of believers. But is this essential?In this lecture, delivered at Templepatrick Reformed Church in February 2020, we look at the arguments for and against church membership, and ask the really important question, "What if I don't fit in?"Read the TRANSCRIPT HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

jesus christ church bible christians member acast prism transcript here

The Gift!

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2021 13:32

The Gift!Luke roots the birth of Jesus in history, when he tells us exactly when it happened, ‘And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. 2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) 3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. 4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)' Luke 2:1-4. So while we don't have any church Christmas Tree, or candles or any of the worldly trappings of the season - and, as you probably already know, we certainly don't have a Santa - we do have something really important to celebrate, - the fact with when Jesus came into this world he came to bring us LIFE!Please give me just 15 minutes of your time on this busy, happy family day - to remember that THE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE!Happy Christmas from The Semper Reformata Podcast!Read the TRANSCRIPT HERE.Podcast Music licensed from www.Neosounds.com"O Little Town of Bethlehem" by Jonathan Geer. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Catechism Class LD15 Q37 The EXTENT of the Atonement

Nutrition Navigators at The University of Arizona

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2021 30:01

Catechism Class LORD'S DAY 15 Q37The Extent of the Atonement.We are looking at Lord's Day 15, which is an examination of the phrase in the Apostles' Creed that reads, “Suffered under Pontius Pilot.” We are going to divide this catechism question into several parts, over several lessons. In this lesson, we will ask one of the most important questions of all, a question that has divided opinion among evangelicals for generations. For whom did Christ die? Or, to put it better, “What is the extent of the atonement?”Our catechist asks us: What do you understand by the word “suffered?” The answer we must give in reply is, That all the time He lived on earth, but especially at the end of His life, He bore, in body and soul, the wrath of God against the sin of the whole human race in order that by His suffering, as the only atoning sacrifice, He might redeem our body and soul from everlasting damnation, and obtain for us the grace of God, righteousness, and eternal life.Psalm 107:10-16. Tune: Morven:10 Some sat in darkness and in gloom, in chains of iron held; 11 They scorned the ways of God Most High, against his words rebelled12 And so he made them labour hard in bitterness and shame. They stumbled, and they could not rise; to help them no one came.13 Then to the LORD they cried for help; he saved them from their doom. 14 He broke away their cruel chains and brought them out of gloom.15 So let them thank him for his love, the deeds which he achieves— 16 Because he breaks down gates of bronze and iron bars he cleaves.This topic is difficult! If you haven't followed it all, please don't despair. Read the transcript, and check out all the Bible verses - and more! Find the Transcript HERE.Psalm 107 with grateful thanks to Conner Quigley, www.ThePsalmsSung.orgPodcast Music on license from www.NeoSounds.comSRP Theme, “In Another Time” by Roland Rudzitis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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17: Food & Culture Series- Food & the Jewish Culture with Ruth Halter

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2021 28:17

"...one of the things I did get to learn from his mom was how to make matzo ball soup, and the other word for that would be Jewish penicillin. At least we'd joke that way, but it truly does help cure a cold. Well, it doesn't really help cure a cold, but it helps you feel better, naturally. I do it the traditional way. I boil my chicken with the vegetables in there and then, a whole chicken, and that's making my broth."- Ruth Halter Show Details: Today we are kicking off our Food & Culture Series with a great discussion with Ruth Halter, a food and nutrition manager from Tucson Medical Center (TMC) and member of the Jewish culture. Ruth explores Kosher laws with us, family favorites and resources to learn more about Kosher style meals and what makes food such an important part of the Jewish faith. Enjoy this episode and look out for more this Fall as we explore different cultures with campus and community partners. Read the Transcript Here. Links Mentioned in the Show: Hillel on campus Jewish Community Foundation Thank you for listening we are Nutrition Navigators, a program at Campus Health, in Health Promotion, here at the University of Arizona. Our mission is to have students navigate nutrition and have a healthy relationship with food and body. Please consider leaving us a rating & review to help others find our show, or share with friends! Please let us know how we can better serve you and take our short SURVEY!!! Thanks for listening and Be Well Wildcats!! Connect with Campus Health and send us your feedback! Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube We are sponsored by Campus Health, Health Promotion and Preventive Services!

university fall food arizona jewish survey kosher health promotion food culture halter jewish culture culture series transcript here

Leopold Aschenbrenner on existential risk, German Culture, Valedictorian efficiency

Ben Yeoh Chats

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2021 107:45

I had an excellent chat with Leopold Aschenbrenner. Leopold is a grant winner from Tyler Cowen's Emergent Ventures. He went to Columbia University, aged 15, and graduated in 2021 as valedictorian. (Contents below ↓ ↓ ). He is a researcher at the Global Priorities Institute, thinking about long-termism. He has drafted a provocative paper encompassing ideas of long-termisim, existential risk and growth. For some of our conversation we were joined by phantom Tyler Cowen imagining what he might think. We discussed Leopold's critique of German culture and whether he'd swap German infrastructure for the American entrepreneurial spirit. Whether being a valedictorian is efficient, if going to University at 15 is underrated and life at Columbia University. What you can learn from speed solving Rubik's cubes and if Leopold had to make the choice today if he'd still be vegetarian. Thinking about existential risk, Leopold considers whether nuclear or biological warfare risk is a bigger threat than climate change and how growth matters and if the rate of growth matters as much depending on how long you think humanity survives. Considering possible under rated existential risk Leopold sketches out several concerns over the falling global birth rate, how sticky that might be and whether policy would be effective. We consider what is worth seeing in Germany, how good or not GDP is as a measure and what we should do with our lives. Leopold has wide ranging thoughts and in thinking and working on fat tail existential ruin risks is working on saving the human world. Fascinating thoughts. Transcript Here with links and a video version here. Ben Yeoh's microgrants here. 1:35 How to think about a future career (80000 hours) 4:10 Is going to university at 15 years old underrated? 6:22 In favour of college and liberal arts vs Thiel fellowships 9:14 Is being a valedictorian efficient (H/T Tyler Cowen) 13:01 Leopold on externalities and how to sort smart people 15:08 Learnings from Columbia. The importance of work ethic. 19:50 Leopold learning from Adam Tooze and German history 22:16 Leopold critiques German culture on standing out. 23:08 Observations on decline of German universities 25:22 Leopold concerns on the German leadership class 30:25 German infrastructure and if it feels poor 34:13 Critique of too much netflix 35:27 What to learn from speed cubing Rubik's cubes and weird communities 38:04 Leopold's story of Emergent Ventures and what he found valuable 40:08 Embracing weirdness and disagreeableness 42:20 Leopold considering whether US entrepreneurial culture worth swapping for German infrastructure 44:44 Leopold on social ills of alcohol 44:59 Examining Leopold's ideas of existential risk and growth 48:49 Different views depending on time frame:700 years or millions of years 52:18 Leopold's view on importance of growth and risk of dark ages 57:07 Climate as a real risk but not a top existential risk 1:01:02 Nuclear weapons as an underrated existential risk 1:01:45 View on emergent AI risk 1:03:20 Falling fertility as an underrated risk 1:15:35 Mormon and eternal family 1:17:29 Underrated/overrated with phantom Tyler Cowen 1:36:10 What EA gets right/wrong, EA as religion? 1:44:56 Advice: Being independent, creative and writing blogs

Blue - Harmony / Serenity - Romans 8:22-27

Colors of Hope

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2021 3:59

Hello! I'm Michael or Marren Jennys (they/she), a Queer, trans, Genderfluid, Enby, Image Bearer! Fair warning, I'm a huge geek/nerd, and I tend to fall down rabbit holes when I listen/watch/read about things; like: Lgbt-fiction, Comic books, She-Ra, RWBY, cosplay, and theology (Oh My)! I'm super excited to facilitate a space to help people like me explore their place in Adonai's love! Join me as we foster and create a safe fellowship space for all LGBTQ+ people of faith, and allies! Access the Transcript Here. Learn everything you need to know about the Colors of Hope project here: http://disciplesallianceq.org/colors-of-hope/

lgbtq lgbt queer comic colors romans 8 she ra adonai image bearers genderfluid rwby enby transcript here

S4Ep1 - Biden is President. Now What?

The Eager For Truth Podcast

Play Episode Play 23 sec Highlight Listen Later Jan 20, 2021 13:12 Transcription Available

Trump lost. Biden won. Many Christians are losing their minds. Now what?"Angry Dance" by Simon Panrucker https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/ "Clear Progress" by Scott Holmes https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/Transcript HERE. Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/angrychristianpodcast)

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TRANSMISSION FOUR

What Will Be Here?

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2020 0:54

TRANSMISSION FOUR. TRANSCRIPT: Here at Savannah, we're all about efficiency. Sometimes this means we have to deal with workplace accidents and human disposal. But do you think Savannah would bother with mass graves? No. Our soon to be patented human incineration devices will render your leftover employee biomass safe and inert for reintroduction to the Savannah ecosystem. With our proprietary hydroponic systems, your employee corpses can be used to grow healthy, sustainable lunches for you and your coworkers. Our community is depending on you to keep company expenses low and morale high. Remember, if someone has to die at work, make sure they're off the clock! ADDITIONAL NOTES: Written, Recorded, and Produced by Brad Colbroock. Show Website located at whatwillbehere.crd.co. Social Media is WhatWillBeHere on Twitter and Instagram.

social media transmission transcript here

Lessons Learned on a Submarine, and the Heroic Internet, with Rob Tiffany from Ericsson

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2020 28:53

In this episode of The IoT Unicorn Podcast, Rob Tiffany, VP and Head of IoT Strategy at Ericsson explores the development of 5G and LPWA technology for IoT solutions, what it looks like for Telco's to be successful in the IoT space, and how the Internet is playing the hero during the uncertainty of the Covid-19 pandemic. Download the Transcript Here 00:00 Pete Bernard: Great, so Rob, thanks for joining us today on the Unicorn, and really appreciate you taking the time. I was going to start by asking you a couple things about what your role is currently at Ericsson, kinda how you got there. I know that you and I did work together at Microsoft years ago back in the Windows Mobile days. 00:24 Rob Tiffany: Woo hoo. 00:25 PB: Good times, good times. 00:25 RT: Those were good times. Yep, absolutely. [chuckle] 00:28 PB: Yes. I thin, I think you were... Let's see, when did you stop working for Windows Mobile, like 2008 or something? Or is that... 00:38 RT: Yeah. And certainly by 2010 or around that timeframe I took an architect role in another group and probably started spending more time on Azure. I was at Microsoft for 12 years and so the first half was Mobile, Windows Mobile, CEE, Windows Phone. Second half was Azure, Azure IoT. And you know what? We had some good times in the Windows Mobile days when it was just us and BlackBerry slugging it out. We were making... When things like Exchange ActiveSync was a big deal to people. 01:21 PB: That's right, that was a big deal. 01:24 RT: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then no doubt, when we rebooted and did Windows Phone 7 and 7.5 and all that, I used to do so many EBCs for mobility and you noticed a difference and you had to get really thick skin. [chuckle] 01:42 PB: Yes, yes, yes, I know. Well, I peeled off after six... I think, so I went on to Zune incubation, I did Kin and I did all kinds of weird phone things and went off into the wilderness for a while on that while everyone else finished up with Windows Phone, but... 02:00 RT: Oh my gosh. 02:01 PB: And I also noticed on your LinkedIn profile. So you went to SUNY Albany. Are you from that area originally or... 02:07 RT: You know what? I finished college on board a submarine, so when I was in the Navy driving subs I had what, maybe 30 or so hours to go to graduate, and so I've actually never set foot on the SUNY Albany campus... 02:26 PB: Oh, wild. 02:27 RT: But the military has programs with lots of different universities around the country and to show how old I really am, I was able to take college courses underway on the submarine using Pioneer LaserDiscs. 02:42 PB: Wow. 02:43 RT: For college instruction, if anybody remembers what that was. [laughter] 02:47 PB: Yeah, that is old school, that's old school. 02:50 RT: That is fully old school. 02:52 PB: I actually just dropped my daughter off at Bard, which is a little south of Albany, so I was just there like a week ago, so that's why I asked. 02:58 RT: Oh, okay. 02:58 PB: I saw that on your profile and I was like, "Oh, yeah." It's a cool area, the Adirondacks, the whole upstate New York thing is cool. 03:04 RT: I know. Absolutely. Yeah, I just dropped my daughter off at Arizona State last week. 03:09 PB: Yeah. 03:10 RT: It was a little warm down there. 03:11 PB: Yeah, I could imagine, I could imagine. 03:14 RT: To say the least. But you know what? I think everything started back then with submarines and teaching myself how to code and do databases, and when you think about IoT, you're just remoting information that you had on these local sensors and we were surrounded by sensors on the submarine. There's the obvious things like sonar and things like that and this higher frequency one to see what your depth is below the keel, but inside you had CO2 radiation, all kinds of gas sensors and things like that to make sure we were still alive, which was kind of a thing. [chuckle] 04:02 PB: Yeah, it's kind of important. 04:04 RT: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 04:06 PB: That's interesting. So you did the Microsoft thing and so you joined Ericsson a couple years ago, I think? 04:13 RT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did the Microsoft thing. I was recruited out of the Azure back when we were doing incubating Azure IT. There was that time... And actually Microsoft IoT stuff started in the embedded team with Intelligence System Service, but then I went to Hitachi actually to build an industrial IoT platform called Lumada, which was really interesting. But yes, I joined Ericsson a couple years ago. Up until recently, I split my time between Seattle and Stockholm. Normally I'd be in Kista, the Ericsson headquarters with the rest of my team. So yes, certainly disconnected these days. 05:00 PB: Yeah, interesting. 05:00 RT: And what Ericsson is doing in IoT is very different than my background both at Microsoft and Hitachi for sure, which was more data-focused, outcomes, analytics. Ericsson manages among... We have an IoT team. We have three products. Our big one is this IoT Accelerator, which is basically a global connection management platform. If you know what Jasper is, it's kinda like that in some ways. It spans about 35 or so mobile operators around the world and lots of enterprises. But the key thing, you know how we're always talking about that initial bootstrapping of devices to get them connected, right? 05:46 PB: Yep. 05:47 RT: In the event that you're using cellular for IoT, one of your options would be this IoT Accelerator thing we have at Ericsson, and so the narrative would be if a machine is being manufactured in Shenzhen and at manufacturer time, they're putting in the microcontroller and the software and the security keys and all that stuff, and there's also a cellular module, and if they're using our technology then when a customer buys that product and they turn it on the first time somewhere else in the world, maybe France, then it wakes up and connects to a local mobile operator to start sync telemetry. 06:24 PB: I see, so it's like a bootstrap profile kind of thing that phones home and then you guys connect it up to the right telco network. 06:35 RT: Yeah, and then it roams as well. But it's different than anybody who, if you... At least when IoT was getting hyped I was doing IoT-M to M in the '90s, but when it really started getting hyped after 2010, 2012, whatever, you started seeing these global SIMs and things like that that are just roaming all the time. 06:58 PB: Yes. 07:00 RT: But what the average person doesn't realize is mobile operators don't always want you roaming and just camped out on their network if you're from somewhere else. 07:08 PB: Yeah, yeah. [laughter] 07:10 RT: And so our technology, aside from the technology and we're operating our own network, so even though Ericsson creates the technologies that mobile operators use, we actually manage our own network that spans the globe, that interfaces with all these other mobile operators, and then there's lots of contracts and everything. But the take away to make sure that it's all okay with them, that these devices... And we are also in the connected car space and we've been doing that for a long time. And so you can imagine a car manufactured in Japan and sold in Europe. 07:46 PB: Sure. 07:47 RT: And the whole infotainment, and then as we move forward, more and more IOT telemetry coming off, those cards may wanna roam from country to country, so we do a lot of stuff with those guys too. 08:00 PB: I noticed that recently I got an email this morning from account team in Finland talking about a telco, there seems to be this confluence of telco and IoT. And I've seen, and I think you might have had some commentary on that too or pointed some articles about 5G plus AI plus IoT, or there's something about... We're seeing some telcos have really... Forward leaning telcos, really investing and thinking about IoT as the next big wave for them. Ericsson is part of that story too. Is there some unnatural attraction between IoT and telco or what's going on there? Are you seeing the same thing? 08:40 RT: Yeah, I am. But of course, if you'll remember, we saw this before. When the IoT craze started taking off, you might remember a lot of the telcos built their own IoT platforms and waited for people to come... 08:54 PB: That's right. 08:54 RT: And people didn't always show up, and so it seems like most of the mobile operators actually took a stab at it back then. Of course, if we go back further in time, most mobile operators thought that it was their right to be the cloud as well and they gave a shot at that, but it didn't work out either. But you're right, there's a renewed effort. I think a lot of it's just numbers and money. We've saturated smartphones and people, and so we need... Lots of mobile operators for better or worse, think of the world in SIMs. [chuckle] Connected SIM endpoints, that's how they see the world. And so it's like, "Okay, we've maxed out all the SIMs on people. [laughter] Where are we gonna get some more SIMs?" And so they're thinking, "Oh, it's IoT." And so that's where a lot of it's coming. We've certainly seen some of them turning on, some of them like NB-IoT and CAT-M1, LTE-M networks to try to take a stab at that. And so that's kind of cruising along. 10:09 PB: I noticed that... And I love to buy all the gadgets and stuff and I'm also very invested in the whole LPWA space, I'm a big believer in that. And I'm curious and I see some things happening there, but it just seems like such a no-brainer for some of these WiFi connected things. Like I just installed a garage door opener in my house, I have a separate garage and it's WiFi connected for some reason, but I have to stand on a step ladder and scan a QR code and hold it next to it. I'm like, "Why doesn't it just turn on and connect through a little power cellular?" Just such a no-brainer, but it hasn't quite yet turned on. 10:49 RT: Yeah. No, you're right. Are you connected much with the SemTech guys doing LoRa? 10:56 PB: SemTech, not that much. No, no. 10:58 RT: Okay, okay. It's funny, so much of this is the people you work with over the years. When I went to Hitachi to build this industrial thing, I had a couple of compadres from Microsoft come along as well, but needless to say a couple of those guys are actually working for SemTech now and pushing hard on the whole LoRaWan thing. 11:23 PB: I see. 11:24 RT: And it looks like they're getting traction actually. 11:27 PB: Is LoRaWan, is that unlicensed or is that licensed? I think that's unlicensed. 11:31 RT: It's unlicensed, yeah. 11:32 PB: There's always those two camps, there's the licensed, which you got all your telcos with their spectrum and their 3GPP stuff, and then the unlicensed, which is probably a lot faster on the innovation side, but... 11:45 RT: Yes, they can get to market faster. You may remember, gosh, how many years ago was it when we were at Mobile World Congress and Sigfox launched out of nowhere. And they raised a bunch of money and they... But they weren't gonna do what the LoRaWan and guys did, they tried to be their own mobile operator as well. And so yeah, it's been interesting watching that. And you're right, they can get to market faster. They were using Sub-1 GHz and some rules, EU rules about how often you could send a signal and how big it could be, and they're like, "Hey, I think we can thread the needle here." 12:21 PB: Yes. [laughter] 12:23 PB: Yeah, no, I'm looking forward to the LPWA stuff becoming more mainstream and just more turn key, if you will 'cause it just seems like it's such a low hanging fruit. There's the obvious metering and telemetry and that's parking meters and gas meters but even a lot of this current WiFi connected gear that people buy, it's just painful to get it all... I just installed a juice box level two charger for my house. 12:55 RT: Okay. 12:56 PB: And again, I had to download the app and the app... I had to connect the juice box to my phone and my phone to my WiFi and the blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, "What is happening?" It's just... 13:06 RT: Absolutely. You know what? It's so important, or at least from my perspective, to put yourself in the shoes of a developer and what they have to go through to get something connected, and I always think of the hassle factor. If I talk to people in the telco world and say, "Why is it cellular IoT is so far behind WiFi or other ways to connect?" And a big reason is actually what you just described. It's just such a hassle and it's expensive. A developer's like, "Oh, I gotta get some kind of SIM-based module thing and I gotta... Do I need to call a mobile operator and get a plan?" And you know what? The mobile operators, they still need to work on getting their prices down lower or at an appropriate amount for a IoT endpoint, because in many cases the prices are still too high. 14:01 PB: Yeah. Well, like my garage door opener, how much data is that sending? It's like either the garage door is open or closed. It's like one bit, plus 500K of overhead. A one or a zero, open or closed. 14:15 RT: Exactly. One or a zero, yeah. And so I think for telcos to be successful, while they would probably love to charge smartphone prices for plans for things, the reality is is no one's gonna use it unless they can still have an ROI. If I'm doing agriculture and I'm trying to put a weather station in a orchard and my plan with a mobile operators costing me $30 a month, I'm never gonna make any money on that deal. It's not worth doing. 14:48 PB: Yeah, I think you're right, there's the simplicity factor, the economics obviously drive the big deployments. But yeah, hopefully we'll start to see that take hold a little bit. I wanted to actually ask you a question about... I saw a post of yours the other day talking about 5G, and I'm sure you and I both get emails and questions about 5G on a daily basis or hourly basis, but you said that it's not just another G, which I thought was a good way of describing the other aspects of 5G. When people think of 5G, I just got this Samsung Ultra, Note Ultra 20 thing beautiful... It's a beautiful thing. 15:26 RT: How do you like it? 15:27 PB: Oh, it's fantastic. It's just like, it's hard to describe how awesome it is, but... And it's got 5G in it, and so fantastic, classic use case. And I work with Qualcomm all the time and Cristiano Amon and all these folks and they're all like, "5G all the way." But it's almost like the rest of 5G doesn't quite get the airtime about the high density and low latency. How do you see that impacting the IoT space? 15:56 RT: Yeah. Well, if the IoT space had actually been successful, 'cause we've massively underperformed across the board, it doesn't matter what company you are or what technology you built, everyone's massively underperformed, and so... But let's just assume for a second that we've been successful and we weren't in the trough of disillusionment right now, we would've found that we would've hit bottlenecks with lots of concurrently connected devices, if we were using cellular just over normal 4G networks and things like that. But we didn't hit those bottlenecks because IoT deployments haven't been that big yet. And so, the great thing about 5G is just with that same hardware, that same gear, all of the sudden you're getting more capacity. And you're right, that's what I wrote about, no one ever talks about the capacity angle. They talk about speed and they talk about the really low latency, and all that's super important, but for IoT capacity is gonna be the most important. And so the fact that it's a hundred times more capacity for the same cell tower, the same gear, is miraculous. And then that supporting a million devices per square kilometer is... That's how we're actually gonna have connected cars working well, smart cities, all those urban, a lot of those things that require a lot of density and a lot of devices all talking together over cellular networks, that's gonna make that real and make it happen. 17:29 PB: Yeah, I hear you. And yeah, you're right, we haven't really hit the bottlenecks yet so we're not quite appreciative of it, but when you think through how many billions of devices will be connected over the next few years, you just have to go there and you have to have that infrastructure. And then the ultra-low latency stuff, I think is fascinating. From the Microsoft side, we do a lot of commercial stuff, manufacturing, healthcare, a lot of things like that, and the ultra-low latency and some of those aspects of 5G are pretty fascinating, I think, and start to get more industry 4.0 type of scenarios. 18:06 RT: Yes, absolutely. 18:09 PB: I was curious what you think about... My next question around 5G and Release 16 for 3GPP. Do we need 3GPP Release 16 to really make this 5G thing work for IoT or do we need 17? Do you have any opinion on that or is that too esoteric of a question? 18:31 RT: It's a little esoteric, and the only reason I say that is I remember talking to folks in the past who would say ridiculous things to me like, "Oh, now that we're gonna get 5G, we can finally do IoT." And I'm like, "What are you talking about? We've done IoT forever and we've done it a million different ways, and we certainly did it over GPRS and it was fine [chuckle] and so I don't need 5G to do IoT." Is it gonna make it better and is it gonna help us with this capacity? Absolutely. And you're right, these subsequent releases, getting that ultra reliable, that low latency for mission critical stuff... 'Cause as you can imagine, you're talking about Microsoft being in the industrial world, Ericsson makes private LTE and private 5G technologies. And so that's complementary to what you're doing at Microsoft, 'cause we are certainly getting pinged on a lot by a lot of giant manufacturers around the world who, as they're heading into industry 4.0, they look at some of those use cases that require mass customization, flexibility around the factory... 19:47 PB: Sure. 19:48 RT: The notion of a fixed assembly line that doesn't change is gonna go away. 19:53 PB: Right, right, that's a novelty... That's Henry Ford style stuff. Yeah, that doesn't work. 19:55 RT: Yeah, and so therefore, they won't be able to use Ethernet anymore because it's gonna move around so they need wireless, they haven't had a lot of success with WiFi and so lots of people are piloting private 5G, private LTE inside factories, distribution centers, and so that's really interesting space there. 20:19 PB: Yeah. We've seen that as well, and we also see interest from transportation hubs. 20:24 RT: Yeah. 20:27 PB: Shipping ports, airports, places that have just a lot of acreage. 20:33 RT: Absolutely. 20:34 PB: So you're talking about oil refineries, places where there's 100 acres of space and they need a homogeneous, high speed network. You're not gonna stick WiFi repeaters out on poles down the runway. 20:49 RT: Right. 20:49 PB: So yeah, so I think that's another big area. We talked about the LPWA side is cool with the parking meters and garage door openers. And then the other side, you talked about there is gonna be this big wave of transformation going on with some of these big industrial players, I think using 5G or some kind of cell technology, private cell there. 21:12 RT: Yeah. And it's amazing 'cause I've seen it in action and the coverage is insane, the distance, the speed within a large building, instead of having zillions of WiFi access points trying to create coverage, you just have a few of these radio dots that we make and it just roams and it just works seamlessly all over. That's gonna be fun to watch. 21:37 PB: That'll be fun to watch, yes. Hey, I was gonna ask you kinda change gears a little bit, so we're recording this on August 25th so we've been in this pandemic mode for quite a while. What kind of insights have you gained from this pandemic? 21:56 RT: Yes. You know what? I think I put it together 'cause I have thought about it, I've kind of taken down notes, what's worked, what's not worked. And so I would say, succinctly, digital experiences delivered over connectivity is making remote things local and so whether it's you and I chatting here, the rest of the world on Zoom like you're seeing, it's kept people together. My wife is a school teacher and so she had to start teaching remotely and her school district uses Teams 'cause I'm right by Redmond, of course. [chuckle] So an Office 365 school district. 22:49 PB: Right. 22:50 RT: Yeah, as opposed to a Google classroom school district. 22:53 PB: Sure, sure. 22:54 RT: You've seen it in the stock price with certain tech companies, it's like, "Wow, we're really using this." But it certainly plays back to IoT and the taking an experience where I would normally be local in person and making it remote and I know it sounds really simple to say that but the hero in all of this is the internet. 23:20 PB: Right. 23:21 RT: It's held together. 23:22 PB: Yes. 23:23 RT: It keeps reaffirming that it's maybe one of the greatest creations ever and it's holding together for the whole planet, which is just miraculous. 23:33 PB: Yeah. The idea of remote everything, it sounds simple, but it's so complicated and... 23:39 RT: Yeah. 23:40 PB: We talk about latency and bandwidth and other things, and just... I think it's been a lifeline for so many people, to be honest with you. 23:49 RT: It has. 23:51 PB: Just with just the video conferencing, Satya talks about the acceleration, like two years worth of acceleration in two months, basically, just 'cause people have to start collaborating with these tools like Teams and Zoom and everything else, and so we've all fast forwarded a couple of years in our adoption of some of these technologies... 24:14 RT: Absolutely. 24:14 PB: And it'll be interesting to see what sticks. As we get out of this pandemic at some point, which of these habits will stick, that we'll get more used to, and then obviously... I think maybe also for me, I also now probably have more appreciation of the in person experiences than I probably did. And I did travel recently with my daughter to get her to school and I actually enjoy traveling, I enjoy being on an airplane, and these days it's a pretty high anxiety kind of thing with lots of face shields and wipes and things, but getting back to that mode, that's something that I'll probably, for the rest of my life really appreciate being able to just freely travel. 24:58 RT: Yes, absolutely. 25:00 PB: 'Cause of this situation we're in. So it will be interesting to see. I agree with you though, I think the internet has held together and that has been the hero amongst many heroes, but... 25:10 RT: Yeah. This internet infrastructure, fiber electricity beneath the cities and the country, and then little things popping up, either cell towers or WiFi access points, that let us roam around mobility and keeping us together. Obviously, we see a lot of stuff, there's been trends and things that we've had before that's just super accelerated, like you said, like tele-medicine, remote healthcare... 25:36 PB: Yeah. 25:36 RT: Just skyrocketed. 25:39 PB: Yeah. Well, I know that there... 25:40 RT: Out of necessity. 25:41 PB: Yeah, there was... I know there was a lot of rules in place for practitioners not being able to work across state lines and a lot of those rules were suspended during the pandemic to enable people to do tele-medicine, which I thought was fantastic, they were pretty... From a layman's perspective, they seemed anachronistic that you couldn't Zoom conference with a patient in another state and actually provide support or guidance. 26:09 RT: Yeah. 26:11 PB: And so yeah, things like that, where we just moved the whole ball forward, which is a good thing. 26:17 RT: Absolutely, absolutely. No, it's all good. 26:20 PB: Good stuff. 26:21 RT: I think you learned a lot. And I do miss traveling too. I complained about it when I'm flying every few weeks to Sweden or wherever... 26:30 PB: Sure, sure. 26:31 RT: But then that abrupt end of it and just the silence and being at home... You know it's weird, when you travel a lot and you're accustomed to all these international airports and maybe the place you go to get coffee or... This broad world, for a handful of us, it's like our comfort zone and then it just ended, and I miss it. No doubt about it. 26:54 PB: Cool, so, well, Rob, thanks a lot for the time, appreciate it. And good to see you again and... 27:01 RT: Absolutely. 27:02 PB: I see you pop up on LinkedIn on almost like a daily basis, so we'll keep communicating through LinkedIn and stuff. 27:10 RT: We're teachers. 27:11 PB: Yes, exactly, exactly. 27:14 RT: Spreading the word, absolutely. 27:16 PB: Exactly. Sounds good. Alright, Rob, well, take care stay safe. 27:19 RT: You do the same, it's great talking to you. 27:21 PB: Okay, thanks. 27:22 RT: Alright, bye bye.

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Working Together to Intersect Technology, Healthcare and COVID-19 With Dr. David Rhew from Microsoft

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2020 28:22

In this episode of the IoT Unicorn Podcast, Dr. David Rhew, Chief Medical Officer & VP of Healthcare, Worldwide Commercial Business, from Microsoft, shares his experience navigating through today's pandemic and the digital transformation of healthcare. Download the Transcript Here 00:00 Pete: Okay, well, we're here with Dr. David Rhew from Microsoft. David, really appreciate your time. We have a lot of things to talk about today, we're gonna try to squeeze it into the allotted time period, but thanks again for joining us. 00:14 Dr. David Rhew: Thanks, Pete, it's a real pleasure to be here. 00:16 Pete: Good, good. Yeah, and full transparency, something happened in the first conversation I had with David where it didn't record properly, so we're actually going through this one again. So it should be nice and well-practiced. So live and die by Teams, I guess. But anyway, David, so we, as I mentioned, chatted a couple times now, and you're actually fairly new to Microsoft. I think before we get into a lot of really interesting topics I think listeners wanna hear about around digital transformation of healthcare and what's going on with COVID-19 and Microsoft, maybe you can give us a little run-up to how did you end up here at Microsoft, and you've been here almost exactly a year now, so you can give us a little bit of background on yourself and your journey to Microsoft. 01:07 DR: Sure. Well, first of all, I'm a physician, I'm a healthcare researcher, and also a technologist. And really the combination of those three have evolved rather organically throughout my career. It's been remarkable how those three have converged to allow us to be able to start thinking about how healthcare can be used to improve health outcomes, or I should say how technology can be used to improve health outcomes, and really excited to be a part of that program here at Microsoft as we start launching technologies, predominantly cloud-based solutions with artificial intelligence to drive that. 01:45 DR: My story, I guess, begins when I was in college. I was thinking quite a bit about different types of ways that I could help people, and I guess my initial thought was helping people would probably be best served if I went to medical school, so did a curriculum, a pre-medical curriculum. And as part of that program, I think I gained a lot of the basic skills needed to be a doctor, but one of the things that I did also was I was curious about other types of activities and other types of skills. Technology was always a fascination. This was around... In the 1980s, and video games were pretty popular then. These are the arcade video games, not the ones that we typically use... 02:28 Pete: Yeah, the good ones. 02:29 DR: The classics, the Space Invaders, the Pac-Man, Mario, and I was fascinated by that. I just felt, what an incredible way for us to be able to start thinking about how we can not only spend our time, but also how we could use technology to create new experiences. And I started doing a lot of programming, in fact, I became a computer science major as well as a cellular and molecular biologist. And then I went to med school, and in med school there's not a whole lot of opportunity to use computers apart from a word processor, so I felt in many ways that that part of my career journey was put on hold. And it was on hold for a while because what I ended up doing is after I graduated from medical school, I went down a path of exploration in healthcare, specifically looking at ways that we could reduce variation and improve access to care and improve the overall quality of care. And it was done predominantly through what we referred to as guidelines. Turns out that if you were to go to a doctor in... Probably your local doctor, and you were to go to maybe survey the same type of... Ask another doctor across the country or even the globe how they would treat the same type of condition, you'll get a lot of different responses. 03:54 DR: And in fact, when they've done analyses, they've found that variation in care is pretty dramatic, even for things that have been proven to be beneficial. And what we learned in some of the investigations that I was a part of and others have been actively looking at is that a lot of that has to do with just the fact that we don't have mechanisms to remind clinicians to provide that right information at the right time. And I started building basically programs that would provide that right information at the right time. It was very manual. In many cases we had nurses and other clinicians run around the hospital, identifying patients, giving pieces of paper to doctors, saying, "Oh, by the way, your patient fulfils low-risk criteria, you could switch him from an IV antibiotic to an oral antibiotic and send them home," when traditionally, they might have stayed for another few days or maybe even longer. And we ran these programs, we found that it was highly effective. And not only did it reduce the length of stay and reduce total cost, but when we followed up with these patients, they actually did quite well and they were quite satisfied, so... The less time you can spend in a hospital's always good. 05:05 Pete: Yeah, for sure. 05:06 DR: People were having a good time just finding that, hey, you know what, this is something that provided value to just the patient, the health system. And that really got me thinking about how do I start scaling this, because you can't have a person run around the hospital with every piece of information. It really has to be automated. So working with some colleagues, we put together some software that ultimately became a company, and this company got acquired by Cerner, which is a large healthcare information technology company, and next thing I know, I'm in the middle of implementing EHRs across the country and even the globe. And so seeing patients half the time and working with technology was my life work for quite a bit of the early part of my career. And I learned a lot, I learned a lot about how technology is an enabler. It really helps us to be able to achieve some of the goals. But it was really predominantly focused on the inpatient and in-clinic experience. And so I started thinking about, what about outside of the hospital? Could we actually start engaging patients and family members in a more effective manner than simply just sending them a text reminder or giving them access to the patient portal? 06:30 DR: And so what we started thinking about as an industry was this whole category called digital health and connected care. And there were many consumer companies that were looking to get into the space, Apple would be a good one, but also Samsung. And I had an opportunity to talk to folks at Samsung, shared a bit about what I was interested, in terms of where I wanted to take technology, and they shared a similar vision, so it was kind of a great match, and they asked me to be their chief medical officer. For six years I was Chief Medical Officer at Samsung. And during those time periods of working at Cerner and the electronic health world and also working at Samsung I kinda got a chance to experience both ends of the spectrum in terms of what clinicians experience and what patients do. And that bridge was something that I was looking to find a way to make it more seamless, more ubiquitous, which really brought me to Microsoft because of the fact that with its enterprise cloud infrastructure ability for us to be able to have those communications, data communicating also now more freely within the electronic health records space into using HO7 fire standards into a common platform. We could do a lot more than what we were currently doing, and that really is the opportunity for all of us to start thinking about how technology can help us achieve some of the outcomes. 07:51 Pete: Yeah, it's fascinating. I think it's... You can imagine healthcare is one of the great data science challenges we have, there's such a massive amount of information and knowledge base, and like you were saying, the knowledge and the way people are treated and the treatment plans kind of vary, and having access to all of the knowledge collectively and having all the data analyzed. I'm a big Fitbit Versa fan myself, and the measure itself is a pretty key part of my regimen. And especially in people that are not doing too well being able to have all of that data accessible from edge devices and being able to basically get to the right outcomes and treatment plans is pretty, pretty critical stuff. You can't think of too many more purpose-driven business outcomes than that. So that's amazing. It must be... And you're... I know when I joined Microsoft, the first two years, people said it takes two years to find the bathroom at Microsoft, 'cause it... There's so much going on. 08:54 Pete: So you're a year into it, and of course, and we'll talk about the obvious elephant in the room here, you've been in the middle of helping us steer through this pandemic, probably halfway through your first year. So that must have been quite a challenge to sort of come on board and then sort of this all happened, right? Can you give us a little insight as to what was that like, how did that sort of ramp up for you? 09:22 DR: Yeah when I joined Microsoft, I guess there are two chapters or two parts to my time at Microsoft. The first six months were essentially spent working very closely with our partners, our clients, implementing the technologies, the cloud-based technologies to help them achieve some of their business goals, and then when COVID hit and it really started in... For us in January, I know December was probably one of the first times we started hearing about this in China, but we have colleagues, we have Microsoft folks that work in China, and we were very concerned about their health and what was going on. And then when it continued to spread throughout the country and then to other parts of South East Asia, we realized that this was something that was gonna require a pretty coordinated effort within Microsoft around this. Turns out that my background as a physician is in infectious disease. I was actually an AIDS physician during the time, during the AIDS epidemic, and I was seeing patients that were fairly young, healthy individuals that would deteriorate in a rather short time period, and then succumb to the illness. Today there are so many parallels, you're seeing this affect so many young, as well as older individuals, we're seeing a need for public health and also a need for us to be able to accelerate the time to research to vaccine and treatments. 11:00 DR: We never developed a vaccine for AIDS, but we did come up with a treatment that in many ways has allowed us to be able to better control that. And so with that as sort of a backdrop, I was asked to serve as the international coordinator for Microsoft's COVID-19 response, and that was an incredible opportunity to understand really all the different groups within Microsoft that touch the different countries that interface with the governments and the non-government agencies, and what we as a large technology company can do to lean in. That involves providing software cloud services, AI skills and resources, and in many ways, that was our first response to how we could address the pandemic. When the pandemic hit, or I should say when the infections started appearing in the States, particularly in the Kirkland area, near Seattle, that really hit home for many of us in the Microsoft family, because that's where our offices are, our main headquarters are. So yeah. You remember very well. 12:08 DR: And that, during that time, we were recognizing that we needed to do more than just simply provide our technologies, we needed to innovate, we needed to solve some of these problems. So in working with organizations like Providence Health System, we customized our chatbots and made them COVID-19 specific screening and triage tools. We tied it directly to portals that could allow for virtual care assessments, and then tied it into lab testing, we built out mechanisms to provide food services and other types of critical supplies to people that were quarantined at home. We started investigating how we could work through collaboratives to better enable exchange of data and promote the development of a variety of different types of solutions, or I should say ways for us to be able to procure critical supplies such as personal protective equipment. 13:05 DR: And so that process was an extraordinary time. We partnered with companies like GE Healthcare to create virtual ICUs to enable multiple patients to be managed by a single trained clinician. And we started spending a lot of time thinking about treatment. We were thinking about how AI and a variety of other tools can be used to help accelerate the pace of discovery both from a scientific R&D perspective as well as clinical trial recruitment. And so, this has been an incredible journey for us. 13:36 Pete: Yeah, I think, I was looking at the recent Inspire conference and some of the talks there going on and Satya was saying that we've sort of advanced... In two months, we sort of advanced about two years worth of innovation in the time of great crisis. Throughout history, it's sort of a potential real accelerant for a lot of historic inevitables, so we were on the certain trajectory. A separate topic, but online learning and other things, that was sort of a thing that was nascent to be experimented with, and then all of a sudden, it was sort of like, we're all gonna do it now at the same time. 14:14 DR: Yup. 14:14 Pete: Same with a lot of the, obviously, remote collaboration that we're doing. So I can imagine in the healthcare space, you had been working for a long time on the whole digital transformation of healthcare. And now because of the pandemic, we've had to really accelerate a lot of that stuff and really bring to bear a lot of the technologies we were kind of trying out and really sort of making them much more mainstream a lot more quickly. And I know before this particular chat, I was mentioning to you about where... We've been involved recently in how do we take some of the techniques we've done for retail in terms of supply chain management in a typical store, and how do we apply that to healthcare facilities so they can understand their supply of PPE and other things and how can we automate that using a lot of the edge AI as well as cloud capabilities that we would have in a typical grocery store. 15:09 Pete: And so, we're seeing all of this stuff just sort of happen, and obviously, because of the pandemic, there's obviously an underlying urgency that we need to cooperate and innovate as fast as possible. So that must be... I can imagine, I always ask people when they say like, "You come in the morning, you have a cup of coffee. And then what happens?" I can imagine in your job, you have a cup of coffee and then there's probably about 2000 emails in your inbox. 15:38 DR: A lot of times these emails are things that have a direct relevance to what we're seeing and living today. So for instance, much of what I've been focusing on recently have been things that just return to work and return to school. These are topics that we know are of high importance to many individuals, technology can play an important role. But in the setting of a pandemic, almost everything has to be done with health and public safety and mechanisms that will allow us to be able to suppress and/or make sure that the infection doesn't get out of control. So there's just an interesting... I guess, a collision course between how healthcare has now touched every single vertical, whether it's retail like you're describing, whether it's manufacturing. 16:28 Pete: Yeah, hospitality. 16:29 DR: And now education, hospitality. And it's been, I think, a learning experience for all of us 'cause we're now starting to realize that this pandemic isn't gonna go away simply by providing some of the existing technology. We're gonna have to sort of out-think it, build the strategies to get faster delivery of or the maturation of our R&D so we learn what works. A great example would be convalescent plasma. We knew that this work for other types of conditions, but to enable this to be something that we could use more widely, there are two factors, and it all boiled down to one, really. We need more convalescent plasma. We need more donors. More donors for the studies and more donors for the actual... I guess, the convalescent plasma that could potentially be delivered and transfused into patients. And that has gotten us refocused on what can technology do to help clinical trial recruitment or donor recruitment. 17:39 DR: It's funny, because I don't think that in the past, if I would have thought, what is it that will accelerate the research and the ability, that I would have landed on that being sort of one of the critical pieces, but it is. And that's one of the things that we're starting to recognize that sometimes, we're surprised in what is actually the critical piece. 18:00 Pete: Yeah. And one of the other interesting by-products, I think, of this, and I know when we sit down at dinner every night with my teenage kids, we talk about the news of the day and this is inevitably is a topic. And at least one of the things I think that's been, I guess, positive out of this is we're not only innovating like crazy to out-think this, as you said, but we're also becoming a lot more educated around data science. And people are now able to talk about numbers and analyze data and talk about our values and really be a lot more analytical in understanding data. And I think that's just good, that's just good for everything moving forward. And again, sort of accelerating that trend where now, everyone has to become pretty fluent in understanding statistics and data and be able to talk about it in a rational way, regardless of whether you're a high school student or a technology professional. So I think it'll be fascinating to see down the road how much of the accelerations stick, some of the new habits and practices and skills that we're building and things that we're doing together stick as more permanent. So yeah, it's fascinating. 19:18 DR: Yeah, absolutely. 19:19 Pete: I saw Bill Gates on CNN last night. It's always great to see Bill G., as we like to call him around here, talking about vaccines, hot topic, and I think it's going to be... It's gonna become kind of the next chapter of the story at some point as we get into that phase. And there's a couple of factors there, obviously, there is the development and the new techniques to develop vaccines that are being pioneered right now. Obviously then the logistics of manufacture and distribution, right? Which is gonna be interesting. And I think the last time we talked, when we didn't record, but it was fascinating, 'cause you were talking about the paradox of supply and demand with vaccines, right? Like how to make sure we make enough. Make sure there's enough demand to take the vaccine, but also make sure we have enough supply to get it out. 20:14 DR: Well, one of the strange things that we've realized is that, and it ties into what your earlier statement around how we're becoming far more educated, but at the same time, we're also recognizing that not everyone believes the facts. And because of that, education and our ability for us to engage people to help them understand their concerns and to be able to then create greater awareness programs, adoption programs is so critical. So with regards to vaccines, it's very possible that we may have folks that need it that will refuse it. And what we wanna do is we wanna get ahead of that, we know that there's certain groups that this would be of highest importance, these are age groups, demographics such as ethnicity, comorbidities, those are individuals for whom this should be in all likelihood, be prioritized first. Just given the fact that they're the ones who actually probably will need it the most to prevent the biggest... To have the biggest impact, which is death. At the same time they may be the ones least likely to respond to it. 21:24 DR: So we're kind of like in this... It's always a double-edged sword. We're kinda recognizing who needs it, but they may not want it, they may not respond to it, we may need to actually do a second booster, how do we actually do proper and fair allocation of this? Many of these things, hopefully, it'll be a problem that we can address soon because to have a vaccine would be so important, but again, with every step along the way, we're realizing that there's some challenges. 21:56 Pete: Yeah. Yeah. I recall actually, when I was very young, we had the swine flu vaccines and we had to... I don't know how old I was, but I do remember going with my family and a big, big crowd, I don't know, it was big gymnasiums or something like that, and there was a huge long line. And we all lined up for our swine flu vaccines in the arm. And yeah, I mean, there's obviously a double-edged sword of the information distribution, which is fantastic, and everyone has the opportunity to be informed; at the same time with social media and other things, people have the opportunity to be misinformed, and so there's a lot of challenges out there. I'd heard some statistic, something like the seasonal flu vaccine only has about an uptake of about in the 40% range. Even though it's pretty well established that that is a really good way to prevent the flu and we've all had the flu. It's pretty nasty. 22:48 Pete: And for some people it can be deadly. So I think that'll be another thing is like how do we use technology to help people, like you said, kind of understand what's gonna be healthy for them and also help them feel comfortable taking that step forward to invest in their health, which ultimately is all of our healths, it's the kind of the fact that we all need to protect each other from this virus and getting people educated on that. So that'll be sort of the next wave and like you said, it can't come soon enough, I guess, as we see this thing unfolding. 23:25 DR: Absolutely, yeah. I think that's the one key lesson learned from this pandemic, is that this is not anything that one individual or one organization can solve, it's gonna require a coordinated community effort around this to both protect us as well as to get through it. 23:42 Pete: Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Definitely. Well, we always say IoT is a team sport, but in the case of the COVID-19, it kinda takes it to a whole other level. Right? 23:51 DR: Right. Absolutely. 23:53 Pete: Fantastic. Well, David, I don't wanna take up too much of your time, like I said, this is the second time we've had this conversation. So but I really appreciate... Any kind of final thoughts or things that our listeners should be aware of in terms of what you're working on here at Microsoft or what they should be doing to help themselves? 24:12 DR: Well, one of the things that I'm most proud about is that Microsoft is taking a very... I'd say a very important position of their role and responsibility in the community and the world. We look at us as responsible corporate citizens, we have to do what we can lean in to help address the COVID-19 crisis. Innovate as quickly as possible through partnerships, but also address other issues that we face today. This could be everything from racial injustice, societal issues, such as... And also environmental issues. And what we have found is that these are all interconnected, where healthcare used to be about just simply a medical condition and treating it, what we realized that the most significant factors in many cases, have to do with what we'll refer to as social determinants of health. Your income, your education, where you live, the foods that you eat, and your ability to afford those foods. The people that you are socializing with or not socializing with, these are all... It's an interconnected world, and healthcare is becoming interconnected in so many different ways, so as we think holistically about how we improve one's health and well-being, it'll probably touch on things that we never even envisioned in the past. 25:39 Pete: Yeah. Yeah. That's fascinating. You're right, it is a holistic approach that we need to take and we are much more connected probably than we ever imagined. So good. Good stuff. Well, David, again, thank you so much for your time, appreciate it. And I'll see you around. 25:55 DR: Thanks, Pete. 25:56 Pete: Okay, thanks.

Philip van de Mortel from Intel: True Edge to Cloud Solutions and Future Proof Code

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2020 22:00

On this episode of the IoT Unicorn Podcast, hear from Philip van de Mortel as he provides insight on what the future of IoT looks like within the Intel space as they continue to develop their journey with AI on the Edge. Download the Transcript Here

ai code intel iot future proof mortel cloud solutions transcript here

Lilac Ilan of AT&T: Diversity as Strength, 5G and Latency as Currency

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2020 31:31

In this episode of The IoT Unicorn Podcast, we speak with Lilac Ilan and have an interesting conversation about her journey from the Federal Reserve to AT&T where she is the Assistant Vice President of IoT. We talk about how finding the right mix in a team helps diversify ideas and how that can make you successful in any environment but especially IoT. Then we delve into AT&T's work in the 5G space. We find out how combining the efficiency and power of 5G with AI and edge computing means lower cost, improved safety, and higher ROI through digital transformation. Tune in and hear about all that, and more, on this latest episode of The IoT Unicorn Podcast. Download the Transcript Here

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Jeff Torrance of Qualcomm, Part 2: Low-power wireless, IoT in 2040, and connected beer carts