A podcast of interviews with people telling their stories about starting anew. Proof that it's never too late, you're never too old, so go do that thing you're always talking about!
The I Am This Age podcast is a truly remarkable show that delves into the often overlooked topic of aging and starting new chapters in life. Hosted by Molly, the podcast features thoughtful and warm interviews with guests who share their inspiring stories of transformation and personal growth. Molly's interviewing style is exceptional, as she connects deeply with her guests, asking thoughtful questions that allow them to open up fully about sensitive topics and life lessons. The conversations feel like intimate chats among friends, taking place at a kitchen table. It's refreshing to hear how others are bettering themselves at any age, reminding listeners that it's never too late to make positive changes in our own lives.
One of the best aspects of this podcast is Molly's ability to create a safe and caring environment for her guests to share their stories. Her tactful approach and genuine interest in each person's journey allows her to coax out deep emotions and delve into the events that have shaped them. Through these conversations, we not only get to know the guests on a personal level but also gain valuable insights into our own lives.
Additionally, the I Am This Age podcast serves as a reminder that life is full of opportunities and energetic souls. The stories shared on this podcast inspire listeners to embrace change, explore new possibilities, and make the most out of every minute. It's a powerful testament to the fact that no matter our age or circumstances, there is still so much we can offer to the world.
While it may not be relevant for all listeners, particularly young individuals who might not relate fully to the over-40 experiences discussed on some episodes, this podcast remains an insightful listen. The stories are still inspiring and can provide valuable perspectives even if not directly relatable.
In conclusion, The I Am This Age podcast is a fabulous addition to anyone's must-listen list. Molly's skillful interviewing techniques and the heartfelt stories shared by her guests make for a captivating listening experience. If you're looking for a podcast that will make you think, reflect on your own life, and ignite a desire for positive change, this is the perfect choice. Kudos to Molly for broaching a subject that often goes unnoticed in today's society. It's a much-needed conversation that leaves listeners eagerly anticipating each new episode.
Today Molly addresses ageism and its impact on how society values older generations. She underscores that everyone will experience ageism and highlights the importance of challenging these stereotypes. Through her project, "Insightful Videos," Molly interviews older adults, including her 76-year-old mother, to help them reflect on their life stories and wisdom. These emotional conversations reveal the value older adults bring to our lives. Molly encourages listeners to engage with older generations and listen to their experiences, as doing so can enrich our understanding of life.Click here to watch a clip of Molly's mom or to get in touch for your own Insightful Video:https://www.insightfullegacy.com/how-it-worksFollow Molly on Instagram:@mollyatthisage A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Molly Sider reflects on her experience running the Chicago Marathon. Despite the excitement leading up to it, she felt shame instead of elation after crossing the finish line. She discusses the challenges she faced, including injury and the struggle between prioritizing safety and pushing through. Molly compares her marathon experience to a past triathlon, highlighting the lessons learned about personal motivation and the importance of valuing the journey over the end result. **Key Themes:** Expectations vs. reality Safety over ego Reflecting on motivationsFollow Molly on Instagram:@mollyatthisageGet in touch:www.mollysider.com A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
In this episode, Molly shares her personal journey of training for a marathon despite facing setbacks and challenges. She reflects on the mental and physical obstacles she encountered, including injuries and anxiety, and the internal struggle to overcome them. Molly's story serves as a reminder that perseverance and resilience are not always about achieving a specific outcome, but rather about the growth and strength gained through the process. Tune in to hear how Molly's experience redefined her understanding of success and pushed her to reevaluate her relationship with ego and expectations.Get in touch with Molly Here:https://www.mollysider.com/Follow Molly on Instagram Here:@mollyatthisageChicago Marathon Info Here:https://www.chicagomarathon.com/ A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
In this podcast episode, we dive into the theme of rediscovering oneself and the journey of healing. Diana Patton shares her personal experience of realizing that the missing piece in life was her own sense of calm, happiness, and ease. She discusses how she has transformed and now helps others do the same. The conversation delves into the idea that sometimes, the key to fulfillment is not changing external factors but rather transforming our own mindset. We also explore deep topics such as race, trauma, and the journey from performing for the ego to living in alignment with one's true self.Diana has a big event coming up in Chicago October 10-11 called All Rise Live Global Summit and there are still tickets available. Click below to snag one now! https://allriselivesummit.com/ Want and Insightful Video? Click below!https://www.insightfullegacy.com/ A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Today, Molly explores the concept of resistance and shares her struggles with it, particularly in pursuing education and in relationships. She discusses the multifaceted nature of resistance and its triggers and offers practical strategies for utilizing resistance as a tool for personal growth. This episode is a week late because she was resistant to writing it. Please Enjoy!Molly's Links:www.mollysider.comwww.insightfullegacy.com@mollyatthisageWho these TBM ladies are:https://tobemagnetic.com/ A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Analiza Quiroz Wolf went from being a CEO to executive coaching after she realized that she didn't need to suffer to be successful! We also talk about what it means to be an “achiever,” especially having immigrant parents, learning not to work so hard when you're wired to, playing the game when working towards a new role or starting a new business, and so much more. So, stick around and listen up.Analiza's Links:www.analizawolf.comRead her book here:https://bit.ly/mythsbookFollow her here:www.linkedin.com/in/analizawolf/www.instagram.com/analizawolf/Molly's Links:www.mollysider.comwww.insightfullegacy.com@mollyatthisage A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Gossip, judgments, and assumptions—we all do them, but do we all feel good about it? In today's 8-ish-minute episode, Molly explains why these things make her feel shameful and how staying curious helps keep her neutral and open-minded. You'll hear about where she grew up, her aunt's insightful advice, and how to get in touch if you want to know more. Enjoy!Reach out to Molly:@mollyatthisagewww.mollysider.com A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Today's episode is all about adult friendships because we don't talk enough about what it takes to keep old friends and make new ones. Friendships require work just like romantic relationships, and today's episode breaks it all down, from friendship expectations to being ghosted in friendships, saying “I love you” in friendships, how to ask people you've just met if they'd like to be your friend, and what to do when they're just not that into you. Friendships deserve more attention, and today's episode is just that. Enjoy!To get Molly to speak at your event click HEREorwww.mollysider.com@mollyatthisageReach out to Jenny below:www.JennyCalcoen.com A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
She's back! It's a day late but not even a penny short. Today, Molly talks about acceptance. Do you really need complete love and acceptance of your current life circumstance before you can get the thing (or person) you really want? She says, definitely not. BUT there is great value in accepting where you are right now, and Molly talks you through her acceptance experience and why you'll benefit from it, too. As always, please share these episodes with someone who might also enjoy and benefit from them! The more you share, the more we grow. The more we grow, the more we can help you grow. Get in touch with Molly here:molly@jellyfishindustries.comwww.mollysider.comInsightful Legacy Videos A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Lola Wright and her inimitable charisma join me on the pod today! Lola is a TEDx speaker, ordained minister, jazz singer, life guide, mother, partner, a gazillion more things, and now a landscape design business owner. We, of course, talk about her journey through recent changes. Lola dives into her views on community building and why it's important for personal growth, and she explains the differences between a scarcity and abundance mindset and how they affect our finances. Enjoy this densely packed episode and join me for ALL NEW EPISODES in a couple of weeks!Contact Molly Here:www.mollysider.comwww.insightfullegacy.com@mollyatthisageYou can find Lola at the following places:www.lolawright.comWatch Lola's Tedx talk here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxXGzVAjWrU&t=3sNathan Wright Landscape Design:www.nathanwrightlandscape.com A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
When David Wilson was in his 50s, he believed all sorts of stories about what his age meant about his physical capabilities. Now, David is a leader in the movement and anti-ageism communities. Today, he shares his ideas on how to have a thoughtful and productive movement practice as we age and how to let go of our own agist narratives. If you are struggling with getting older, this episode is for you!Link for David:https://www.instagram.com/oldscoolmoves/Link to work with Molly:https://www.mollysider.com/contact-usCopy and past this link to share episode: https://www.iamthisage.com/ A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
In today's mini episode, Molly helps you understand why it's important to share your internal thoughts and feelings to bring about positive changes in your life. Everyone wants to be understood, but often we're afraid to share too much, or we don't know how to start. This episode will give you some easy and not-so-scary ways to start sharing your story to create a better, more connected life for yourself. Molly loves to speak in front of audiences on this topic. Click the link below to get her to speak at your next event or gathering! Molly also launched Insightful Videos: They're more than just your legacy. These are a great way to work with Molly on sharing your story in a fun, documented form that you can share with loved ones or keep for yourself to reflect on. For Speaking Appearances Click Here:www.mollysider.comFor Legacy Videos Click Here:www.insightfullegacy.comTo Follow Molly on Social Media Click Here:LinkedInInstagramWorks Cited:AlzForumAlzheimer's Society A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Scott McAllister, an executive coach and public speaker, joins the pod today to speak about his journey to finding his North Star and living a more fulfilling life. Scott shares how he felt unfulfilled despite having checked all the boxes of what society deems successful and how he dug deeper to discover what truly mattered to him. Molly and Scott dive into acknowledging and exploring feelings and how they can lead to a more meaningful and impactful life. Don't miss this inspiring conversation!Insightful Videos:www.insightfulvideos.comWork with Molly:www.mollysider.comWork with Scott:www.mcaexecservices.com A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Today, Molly talks about how to discern between good and bad feedback. She highlights the significance of believing and absorbing positive feedback and how it can impact our lives. Molly shares a personal experience of asking for feedback from close people and how it helped her discern between feedback that was truly about her and feedback that was about others' projection onto her. Molly encourages listeners to work on their ability to discern feedback and use it to grow and improve themselves. In just 8 minutes, you'll walk away, finally knowing how to take a compliment! Enjoy!Work with Molly HERELearn about Insightful (legacy) Videos HEREFeedback workshop by To Be Magnetic which can you find HERE A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Christine Kaplan, Molly's personal life coach, has joined the pod today to share her story about how she decided to move on from her marriage and all the tools she used to help her through it. Christine also talks about her journey from not trusting men to having a crush on one she met at a bar! Tune in for all the tea. Key takeaways:- Reflecting on our choices and learning from them is crucial for personal growth.- Being clear about our values and boundaries helps us make better decisions.- Sharing knowledge and helping others grow is a powerful way to create positive change.- Don't forget to subscribe to never miss an episode!Christine's Links:https://christinekaplancoaching.com/Insightful Video:www.insightfullegacy.comMolly's Links:www.mollysider.comFollow Molly on Instagram:@mollyatthisage A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Have you ever felt frustrated that life appears to be easier for others while you seem to be struggling? It's easy to feel overwhelmed and even resentful. In today's episode, you'll discover why some individuals can achieve their goals more easily than others and what it takes to believe you can achieve your goals, too.If you're struggling with this, reach out to Molly!Contact Here!Follow Here! A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Anger is the most uncomfortable emotion for me, and when I'm angry I struggle with what to do with that emotion and how to express it. But there's value in feeling angry, as with any emotion, and so I've learned how to “play” with my emotions, choose which emotion and response I want in a given situation, and today I teach you how you can, too. In this episode, I talk about:- Hard emotions.- Anger- Expressing anger- Energy levels as learned from IPEC- How you can choose the emotion and response you want to have for every situation- How you can dive deeper into this work with meWork With Me!www.mollysider.comFollow Me!@mollyatthisage A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Feeling stuck in a job or career that does not fulfill you? Do you feel like your growth path is different from those around you? Today, my guest shares helpful insights into his career change from corporate to coaching, which took two attempts. We then delve into what it takes to make that leap and how you can find support if you're struggling. One thing is certain: you can't do it alone. If you're ready, listen to the episode and then click the links below!Molly's Links:@mollyatthisagewww.mollysider.comKarsten Alva-Jorgensen's Links:LinkedIn A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Let's discuss unexpected situations that might derail our New Year's resolutions and goals. On my second solo episode, I share my experience of signing up for a marathon but potentially being unable to participate due to a hurt MCL and the disappointment that came with it.In this episode, I talk about:- Alternative ways to get to your goals.- How to feel strong, healthy, powerful, and accomplished.- How to stay in self-worth.For extra support, click the links below.Molly's Links:@mollyatthisagewww.mollysider.com A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Dave Wilson, AKA Sober Dave, takes us through his journey from drinking a liter of vodka every night to getting sober and climbing mountains and all the ups and downs and how he got through. If you need some inspiration to get you over the “dry January” finish line, if you've been “sober curious”, or if you struggle like Dave, this episode will make you feel so much less alone!*Not to be confused with David Wilson of @oldscoolmoves from a previous episode. Molly's Links:www.mollysider.com@mollyatthisageSober Dave's Links:@soberdave A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Do you ever feel like making one major change in your life could cause everything else to fall apart? Like that one thing that you are not happy with, whether it's a job or a relationship that you are settling for, is responsible for holding up everything else that's good in your life. But what if you looked at it from a different perspective? What if that one thing is actually preventing everything else that's good in your life from being great?In today's episode, I talk to Vicki Landers about how she decided to leave her marriage to pursue a more fulfilling life.We discuss:- The Decision to Leave A. Initial fear and uncertainty B. Realization that change was necessary C. Support from friends and family- Life After Divorce A. Challenges and struggles B. Personal growth and new opportunities C. Improved relationships with children- Moving Forward A. Life as a professional speaker and life coach B. Helping others through similar situations C. Finding happiness and fulfillmentMolly's Links:www.mollysider.com@mollyatthisageVicki's Links:EmailWebsite A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
The holidays can be full of hard emotions, and if you're anything like I used to be, you're doing everything to avoid those emotions. But avoiding hard emotions won't make them go away. This is my very first solo episode, and I hope it helps you feel a little less alone and a little more comfortable knowing how to feel your feelings and move through them. In this episode, I talk about:My recent trip to Lapland, Finland (above the Arctic Circle). How to feel and name your emotions.How to center yourself when feeling hard emotions.Other ways to feel confident you can handle any emotion.**This episode is dedicated to my Lapland travel crew who I came across just when I needed them the most. Molly's Links:@mollyatthisagewww.mollysider.com A full transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
If you've ever struggled with mysterious ailments, especially if you or your doctor blamed it on aging, this episode is for you. Dr. Susa Lovelle, a former plastic surgeon turned lifestyle/functional medicine doctor in her 60s, teaches us what functional medicine is. She talks about nutrition, listening to your body, inflammation, preventing disease, and how all of this is especially important as we get older. In this episode, we cover:How stress causes inflammation and disease.How to start taking better care of your health.The validity of taking vitamins. Why we are our own best advocates, our own best physicians, and how our bodies know exactly what they need.How ageism plays a role in medicine and business grants. Dr. Lovelle's Links:https://balancedperformance.pro/https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsusanlovelle/Molly's Links:www.mollysider.com@mollyatthisageA full transcription is available on www.iamthisage.com
Today is the edited version of my very first episode with Bobbe Greenberg, a multiple Ironman World Champion and marathoner. Bobbe ran her first marathon in her late 40s, and 15 years later, she entered her first triathlon before knowing how to swim. Come along as Bobbe takes us through her journey from casual runner to world champion athlete, all completed over the age of 40 and most over the age of 60.Please excuse the sound, as this episode was recorded in person before I knew how to interview or set up a sound studio. Oh, how I've come a long way, too!A full transcription can be found at www.iamthisage.com.Molly's Links:Work with her HEREFollow her HERE
Today's episode is for anyone struggling with their sexuality and coming out to their friends and family, especially later in life. Jamie Garzot tells her story of realizing she's gay at 49 and how she came out to her boyfriend and family. Jamie is a former cannabis entrepreneur and advocate. She wrote a book on her experience in the industry called Unconventional: A Memoir of Entrepreneurism, Politics, and Pot.In this episode, we talk about:Coming out in your 40'sWasted timeSexThreesomesMasculinity and femininity in entrepreneurismLosing a parent at a young age by suicideHow to embrace who you are and why it's the most important thing you can do for yourselfMolly's Links:www.mollysider.com@mollyatthisageJamie's Links:https://www.jamieandreagarzot.com/home/bookOn TikTok as @jamie_the_authorFull transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Today's episode with Junie Moon, a midlife love and relationship coach, is about leaving a dysfunctional marriage and losing over 50 pounds. Junie shares her personal journey of healing past wounds, owning her truth, and creating a life she loves. She offers valuable insights and tips for anyone struggling with love and relationships in midlife, including how to let go of the past, honor your truth, and open yourself up to new possibilities. Whether you're looking for inspiration to make a change or simply want to hear a powerful story of transformation, this episode is a must-listen. So tune in and discover what's possible when you own your truth and create the life you truly want.Junie Moon's Links:https://midlifeloveoutloud.com/Molly's Links:www.mollysider.comFollow Molly on Instagram: @mollyatthisageFull transcription is available at:www.iamthisage.com
Jim Knight is a renowned keynote speaker, author, podcast host, and CEO featured in Forbes Magazine, Inc. Magazine, Fast Company, Entrepreneur Magazine, and Fox Small Business News. He is here today to talk about how he left a 21-year career at Hard Rock Café in his 40s to become his own boss and highly-paid keynote speaker. In today's episode, we talk about:Keynote SpeakingChanging careersPersonal developmentHard Rock CaféEntrepreneurship How to Raise Your Speaking RatesWhy do some people take the career change leap and others do notManagement trainingJim's contact information:www.knightspeaker.comMolly's contact information:www.mollysider.com@mollyatthisageA full transcript is available at www.iamthisage.com
Today's guest is Brant Menswar, a best-selling author, keynote speaker, personal development coach, founder/CEO of Black Sheep LLC, and former rockstar. He shares his personal story of losing his teenage son to cancer, questioning his beliefs, and hitting rock bottom before learning how to move forward after grief. Brant also talks about finding his core values, living authentically, and believing in hope. So, listen up as he inspires us with his insights and experiences.In today's episode, we cover:Not fitting inWhy it's not just okay to question religion, it's part of being religious.Pediatric cancerGriefCore valuesLiving authentically DivorceHopeLegosStarting overPersonal transformationsWhat it takes to be a successful speaker Get in touch with Brant:www.brantmenswar.com Listen to Brant's Podcast:www.thoughtsthatrock.com Get in touch with Molly:www.mollysider.com@mollyatthisage You can find the complete transcription at www.iamthisage.com.
Adam Baruh joins the pod today to discuss his journey from daily panic attacks, to finding a life coach who helped him unpack a traumatic experience from his childhood, and how through his personal growth work, he's strengthened his relationship with himself, his family, and his career. In this episode, we discuss:- Panic attacks- Anxiety- Sharing your story- Childhood trauma- Life Coaching- Career- Marriage- RelationshipsTo work with Molly, Click below:www.mollysider.comFollow Molly on Instagram @mollyatthisageFollow Adam on LinkedIn at Adm BaruhFull transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
This episode was so good that I'm playing it again! Jen & Joe dated, married, built a house and had kids, all in their 40's. They're here today to talk about exactly that. They're funny, sweet, and pretty darn adorable together. Oh, and there's a little story from me about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary.In this episode, we talk about:- Getting serious about dating in your 40s.- What it's like to have kids later in life.- Food and wine in Chicago. Get in touch with Molly below: IG: @mollyatthisagewww.mollysider.comFull transcript at www.iamthisage.com
Kristin Taylor is a coach, author, and podcast host of How I Made Through, where she explores the question of what happens when we die. Today Kristin shares how she went from corporate to owning her own coaching business and how the loss of her friend influenced her ability to live and love to her fullest potential. In the episode, we cover things like:What's our internal story of worth?A scarcity versus an abundant mindset.How to think about loss and grief in a new way.The power of being a highly sensitive person. A full transcription is available on https://www.iamthisage.com/Contact Molly:molly@jellyfishindustries.comwww.mollysider.comIG: @mollyatthisageContact Kristin:https://www.kristintaylorconsulting.com/coachkristintaylor@gmail.comhttps://www.linkedin.com/company/kristin-taylor-consulting-llc/
In this repeat episode, Shelley Brown believed her worth was measured by physical, relational, and professional appearances until it all came to a head in her late 40s when everything had to change. She had a hysterectomy, spinal surgery after a collapsed vertebra, lost her job, and broke up with her drug-addicted boyfriend, all within a few years. Find out how she transitioned through all of this to discover who she truly is.www.shelleybrownofficial.comMolly's Contacts:@mollyatthisagewww.mollysider.commolly@jellyfishindustries.comFull Transcription at www.iamthisage.com
If you haven't yet heard Part 1 with Adrian Jones, make sure to go back and listen to that episode first.In part 2 with Adrian, we hear how his heart attack led him to a chance meeting with someone who helped him find his biological mom, dad, and half-siblings. With his exceptional storytelling skills, Adrian takes us through the steps, thoughts, feelings, and emotions he went through to work up the courage and finally reach out to his bio families who were living right under his nose. In this episode, we also talk about how these two life-changing experiences led to another big change in Adrian's life including leaving his career and starting his own podcast called Profound Awesomeness where other people share their near-death experiences. If you're enjoying these episodes don't forget to share them with people you love. The more we grow the more we can help you grow. Molly's links:Instagram: @mollyatthisageWork with Molly: molly@jellyfishindustries.comwww.mollysider.comwww.iamthisage.comAdrian's Links: Instagram: @profound_awesomenesswww.profoundawesomeness.comFull Transcription is available at www.iamthisage.com
Do you have a thing you're always talking about doing but never get to? At 46 years old Adrian Jones had a heart attack while mountain biking with friends. Determined to survive, Adrian had successful open-heart surgery and then, refusing a wheelchair, he walked out of the hospital on his 47th birthday with a new outlook on life. Today's episode is the harrowing story of that life-changing day, how he survived, and a lead-in to part 2 when we'll uncover his next life-changing event. Adrian is a wonderful storyteller with a vivid memory of the events of the day he almost died of heart failure. This episode will not only create awareness around this common disease, but it will give you an undeniable appreciation for your own life, and consideration for all the things you've been wanting to do but have been putting off doing.Also in this episode is an ad for Adrian's own podcast which you can listen to here: https://profoundawesomeness.com/Click HERE to take advantage of Molly's coaching offer.Follow Molly on Instagram here.Learn more about Molly here.Follow Adrian on Instagram here. Show transcription availble here.
Have you ever wondered what you'd do if you lost your job, your spouse left, or your best friend stopped talking to you? Who would you be without those things or those people? Cynthia James tells her story of a love lost, an acting career ended, and how through those losses she came to know herself better and live her most authentic life. In this episode Cynthia reveals:How she found out her high-profile marriage was ending.What her lowest moment looked like and how she got herself out of it.How through her healing, she discovered her true identity.How she came to live her most authentic life, utilizing all her skills from her past experiences to be in her happiest career and relationshipCynthia James has written , recorded albums, is a life coach, speaker, and hosts the podcast, “Women Awakening."Go to www.iamthisage.com for the show transcription. Get two FREE coaching sessions with Molly by emailing her here:molly@jellyfishindustries.comMolly's Links:https://www.mollysider.com/https://www.instagram.com/mollyatthisage/Cynthia's links:https://cynthiajames.net/How I Made It Through Podcast Links:How I Made It Through Instagram
Have you ever wanted something so badly, but you were so afraid of failing that you never even tried? Rick Bleiweiss, author, musician, music producer, and much more, is here today to talk about how he's manifested success throughout his entire life. In the episode Rick reveals how he:Retired from the music industry at 58.Left New York City to live in a tiny town in Oregon.Got hired in his 60's to work for an audio book publishing company.Published his first two novels in his 70's.How he and his wife have manifested their dreams.Also in today's episode is Molly's occasional co-host and sound engineer, David Ben-Porat. Go to www.iamthisage.com for the show transcriptionRick Bleiweiss Links:https://www.rickbleiweiss.com/https://www.instagram.com/rickbleiweissauthor/Molly's Links:https://www.mollysider.com/https://www.instagram.com/mollyatthisage/David's Links:https://www.instagram.com/dbplovesyou/?hl=enHow I Made It Through Podcast Links:How I Made It Through Instagram
If you've ever struggled with feelings of worth and your confidence fluctuates from feeling like you're amazing to feeling inconsequential, especially as middle-aged women, this episode is for you. Guadalupe Hirt is here to talk through ageism, especially for women, and how that affects our sense of self as we get older. She opens up about her own struggles with it and what she's done to push against ageist narratives, educate people on why it's so harmful, and how we can all regain our sense of self-worth even in an ageist world. Subscribe to Guadalupe's Newsletter here:https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/dear-middlescent-6993597256197165056/Connect with Molly here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mollyatthisage/Email: molly@jellyfishindustries.comWebsite: https://www.mollysider.com/contact-usTranscription available at www.iamthisage.com
Karesa McElheny lost all her beautiful red hair in her early 40's. She wore wigs for a while until one day she just didn't. Now she's confidently bald and at age 65 she feels sexier and more feminine than ever. Hear how she navigated through this huge life change and embraced her new look; how her new husband whom she met at age 53 helped support her; and a little bit about how they keep their relationship strong (because it's always important to hear those parts). Work With Molly Here:Click This Link!To follow Molly on Instagram and get to know her even more, click HERE!For Karesa's Instagram click HERE!
Today we learn from Jeff Wickersham about the influence his mom's passing had on his negative attitude and his change in career from corporate to mindfulness gym owner. He's a coach, author, and podcaster helping people realize their potential and he's full of great tips on today's show. Molly's Links:Instagram: @mollyatthisageWork with Molly: www.mollysider.comJeff's Links:Website: www.themorningfire.comPodcast: Your Hidden Edge
Today I talk to Ashton Applewhite, the author of “This Chair Rocks, a Manifesto Against Ageism” and a leading spokesperson raising awareness on ageism and how to dismantle it. She is a leader for Old School, a clearinghouse website for anti-ageism resources, and the voice behind the blog, Yo, Is This Ageist? You may have heard her Ted Talk or seen her on CBS Sunday Morning. Today she answers the questions; what is ageism, why does ageism exist, what does ageism do to our mental health as we get older, and why addressing ageism will make you feel more comfortable about aging. Ashton breaks down this “ism” so well that by the end you will feel nothing but empowered by your age. LINK FOR ASHTON:https://thischairrocks.com/LINK TO WORK WITH MOLLY:www.mollysider.com
When David Wilson was in his 50's he believed all sorts of stories around what his age meant about his physical capabilities. Now David is a leader in the movement and anti-ageism communities. Today he shares his ideas on how to have a thoughtful and productive movement practice as we age, and how to let go of our own agist narratives. If you are struggling with the idea of getting older, this episode is for you!Link for David:https://www.instagram.com/oldscoolmoves/Link to work with Molly:https://www.mollysider.com/contact-usCopy and past this link to share episode: https://www.iamthisage.com/
Stephanie Greenwood started a business, bought houses, leased commercial spaces, and had new cars under her name, most of which she was manipulated into by her ex-boyfriend. We've all be in relationships we stayed in for too long, so find out how, after 17 years, Stephanie finally found the courage to leave her emotionally abusive relationship, start over in a healthy relationship, and have a baby (unexpectedly) in her 40's! Release your secret ickiness here:https://www.mollysider.com/contact-us Find Stephanie's Bubble & Bee Here:https://bubbleandbee.com/
Sometimes change finds us when we least expect it and often when we're not ready for it. Marla Miller talks us through divorce at 42, a newly diagnosed autoimmune disease shortly after that, and what she did to heal her body and spirit; and not without a good, albeit subtle dose of humor. Marla generously shares her wisdom with us. This is a great episode for anyone struggling through any kind of hard changes! Check out Marla's Podcast Open Minded HealingFollow us on Instagram @stories_from_this_ageTo work directly with Molly, contact her here: molly@jellyfishindustries.comOr go to her website www.mollysider.com
Ever wonder what it might feel like to be athletic? Think it's too late to even try? Think again. Eden proves it's never too late to get into shape and that you can be an athlete at any age, shape, and size. In Eden's words, “You know what they call the last person to finish a triathlon? A triathlete.” Listen now to find out how she did it and how you can too. Follow us on Instagram @iamthisage_podcastFollow Eden on Instagram @edenkendalljax and tune into her podcasts Uncluttered and Unfiltered, and The Show after the Show with Eden and Amadeus. You can also hear her on 99.9 Gator Country in Jacksonville Florida.
Have you ever felt like you've wasted so much time that now you're too old to find real happiness? Today's episode is proof that you're not too late to create your dream life. Joanne Irizarry gets REAL about getting sober in her late 40's after losing her son to suicide; how, at 59, she's having the best time of her life; and why she believes any one of you can do it too. Tune in now!If you're feeling inspired to get support to make your own change, DM us on our Instagram page @iamthisage_podcast with your email address and we'll send you a personal email with a link to set up a free discovery coaching call to get you on your change journey. Who knows, maybe you'll end up being a guest on the show! We can't do life alone. We're not supposed to do like alone. What a relief, right? Follow Joanne's A Safe Place Inside Your Head on Instagram @asafeplaceinsideyourheadFollow Joanne @therealjoirizarry
Breakups are always hard, but are they harder as we get older? How willing should we be to end a relationship the older we are? How do we know if and when there will be another? Janet Helfand, A psychologist, answers these question when she gets vulnerable about her most recent breakup at 79 years old, and tells us all about her wedding day to her new husband on her 80th birthday. Listen as Janet proves it's never too late to make a big change. We're coming out on Monday's now! Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and rate, review, and share with all your favorite people! Thanks! For transcription email:info@jellyfishindustries.comFollow us:@iamthisage_podcastFind us:www.iamthisage.comwww.jellyfishindustries.comwww.mollysider.com
Andrew Newman is a Children's Book author and Creativity Coach who, once upon a time, didn't think he was creative at all. Today Andrew teaches us all about the “creative cycle” where he helps to untangle the struggles of creatives, entrepreneurs, and anyone trying new things and making big changes! This special episode is a must listen for anyone creating anything ever at any age, which is literally everyone all the time. A rarity on a show for people over 40.Andrew's children's books, Conscious Stories, is a line of 20 books and can be found online at https://consciousstories.com/ along with his Creative Coaching program. Follow our show on instagram @iamthisage_podcast!Email for transciption info@jellyfishindustries.comBuy me a coffee! (AKA donate to the show) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/IAmThisAge
My guest today is a running coach who made a big life change around the age of 40 when she left her marriage and then her job at NPR to become a running coach. She now has two of her own running podcasts and says she's living her dream life. Listen up to hear how Coach Christine Hetzel handled her big transition into the life she always wanted. Christine's PodcastRunning Scared With Coach Christine PodcastTime For Brunch PodcastContacts for Molly and Jellyfish Industrywww.jellyfishindustries.comwww.mollysider.comEmail For Transcription: molly@jellyfishindustries.com
At 44 Brian Biedenbach has left his long career at a nonprofit to run his own podcast production company. He has a wife and three kids and somehow, he found the courage to try something new and scary and look failure in the eye. Tune in now to find out how he made this big change despite his fear! Email info@jellyfishindustries.com for the show transcription www.summitcitystudios.comwww.jellyfishindustries.com@iamthisage_podcast@summitcitystudios
Today Rebekah Ward talks all about her past relationships, how religion influenced them, and how she moved through divorce to a healthy, loving marriage with two kids in her early 40's. Rebekah is hilarious, open, and full of personal insight. My goodness do I love this episode. You will laugh and cry (maybe not cry but you will laugh) and you will absolutely learn something about what loving relationships really look like. Enjoy today's change story! www.iamthisage.com@iamthisage_podcastwww.jellyfishindustries.comwww.mollysider.com Transcript:Here's the thing. In my twenties and my thirties, I could not have been in the kind of romantic relationship I am in now. I couldn't because I hadn't yet done the work on myself that is required to be in that kind of relationship. I wanted to feel a deep connection with another human, and I wasn't going to settle for anything else, no matter how loud my biological clock ticked.But I also had no idea how to get that. I wanted to feel seen by a partner in such an intimate way that all my fears of being misunderstood by the rest of the world would fall away with the knowing that this one person whom I loved and respected and let's be honest, wanted to have sex with all the time, saw me for exactly me, and still wanted to have sex with me.It took years of learning and growing and experiencing disappointing relationships, and then years more of taking a very hard look in the mirror and recognizing and admitting the things about myself I wasn't particularly proud of, and then more years of untangling why I was doing those things.Figuring out why I really wanted this deep connection, unlearning unproductive habits, teaching myself new ways to be, and then committing to being those things. Now I get to continue learning and growing, but I get to do it in the kind of relationship I always wanted. So no, I couldn't have had this back then.I wasn't ready yet. But at 44, I am ready and I have it because I've lived those experiences and with every experience I learned more about the person I want to be, the kind of person I want to be in relationship with. And maybe most importantly, the belief that I am a worthy of the deep connection I always dreamed of.And if I learned anything from today's guess, it's that you have to believe in your worthiness enough to risk losing something great in order to gain what you most desire.Welcome back to another episode of I Am This Age a podcast proving it's never too late. You're never too old, so go do that thing you're always talking about. I'm Molly Cider, your host. And today's guest is Rebecca Ward, and we go deep into relationships, self-discovery, and what love really looks like. We talk extensively about how her experiences in and out of relationships in her twenties and thirties prepared her for getting married to her current husband just before her 39th birthday, and for having two kids in her forties.Rebecca is a blast. There's definitely some swearing in this episode. We laugh a lot and we laugh loudly, but mostly there's so much honesty and self-discovery, and I think it just might be one of my favorite episodes so far. So please enjoy Rebecca Ward.My name is Rebecca Ward. I am 44. I am a an artist. I act and direct and write. I am a wife and a mother of two children, a four year old and a one year old, and I am tired. So, and it is almost eight o'clock at night. Almost eight, which used to be when I would go out. It's just a perpetual, uh, exhaustion. But it'll pass.It'll pass. Yeah. Today we're gonna talk about love and relationships, how to get there. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I, the long and windy road, the long and windy road, , the never ending, long and windy road. You had two big relationships as a young adult. The first was, um, at 19 years old when you were engaged to a man who was 31.Mm-hmm. . He was a member of a Christian organization that came to your high school, and that's how you met. Yes. , your community, Um, being small, religious. Mm-hmm. and in your words, undereducated. I would say so. Okay. Or underexposed under underexposed. Mm-hmm. . Okay. That's, that's a, a better, nicer way. Yeah. Um, so underexposed, um, they were very supportive of your relationship.Mm-hmm. , you were considered a rockstar couple , you were studying to be a missionary. Um, but you also had this deep urge to travel and he did not. So eventually you broke off the engagement after moving away to college, which was devastating to your relationship with your friends and your family back at home.You did eventually, um, rectify that family. Yeah. With my family and Yeah, and the friend and, and, and the friends I stayed close to, you know. Oh, good. Okay. Yeah. And your second relationship was with a teacher at your college, . Um, he was two years older than youIt's not, Look, we've all got these stories and you have to get through it in order to get to the place. Um, but yeah. This one, this one was, um, two years older than you. Yeah. You shared a love of theater. Mm-hmm. . He wasn't religious and you said he did things like drink martinis, , and listen to Led Zeppelin and vinyl, which I just love those details.Um, and for that, you found him fascinating. And the two of you got married. Mm-hmm. . And you were married for 10 years. Yes. You went through some hard life moments together. Mm-hmm. , you did some personal growth work. Mm-hmm. . And as you began to realize who each of you were as individuals, you also understood that you were no longer a fit for each other and you left that marriage.Yeah, I would say. That is the summation post leaving. I don't know that. I could have articulated it that clearly when I was leaving. I very much loved him. Uh, but we were really ill suited toward one another. Um, and we had gotten engaged so quickly after dating for five months. Had we spent more time in relationship together before we decided to spend eternity together, , then maybe we would've figured that out, um, before we, uh, you know, took vows.But we didn't, and we were young. And I think that in the end, we, we both have grown into much healthier, happier people outside of a marriage relationship with one. . And so you, you left the marriage and you were in your early thirties, correct? Yeah. It was just still a baby. Mm-hmm. . Um, and so the following , the following like six or so years, was you sort of getting to play, you got your first apartment by yourself, you dated, you traveled, you did plays, you made friends, you went to therapy,Yes. Lots of that. You had an explosion of self-discovery mm-hmm. . And, um, you, you said people were noticing that you were changing. Yes. Can you tell the story about what did the casting doctors say to you? Um, so I had been seen in this casting office in Chicago, you know, for several years while I was married.And then for, I don't know, the first several months post separation. . I had gone in for some auditions and after one of those auditions, the casting associate, not the director of the whole office, but an associate pulled me aside and said, Hey, I, I wanted to just ask you what's going on Is something different?You've changed, You're just, And I was like, Well, you know, I, I got divorced. And he was like, I wondered your name wasn't the same, you know? And I was like, Yeah. And . And I also said, I'm having a lot of sex. And he was like, Great . Yeah. Um, but he just said that I was happier and lighter. And, um, it's, it sounds to me like you had this very clear intention at that time to.Really figure out what you, what your values were. Mm. Um, and you, you said you started to do this by saying yes to everything. Yeah. And I find it, um, I find it really interesting because you came from this like tiny religious, conservative Yeah. Conservative community. Mm-hmm. with lots of rules, that are based on noLots of nos. Lots of nos. And all of a sudden you're saying lots of yeses. You know, the world was literally your oyster and you were, it was like you were going to experience everything and then just narrow it down from there. Mm-hmm. , you were having like a complete reboot. I, I, it did feel that way and in some ways, to be honest, Yes.Reboot, but also I think it was a returning to my original self. Um, I think that my whole life, even when I was a little kid, I gravitated toward. The edges of things. Um, the edges. What does that mean? The people who were on the edge, the people who were maybe not the most popular. I I, I was generally friends with most people, but I was always intrigued by people who were pushing boundaries.But that does not garner you favor in the Southern methods denomination, um, or as a pastor's wife or, you know, like it's just very conservative. Fundamentalist Christianity is built on preserving the positions of the people who are in power, and they are able to maintain their power by keeping those who are not they in fear.Uh, be it fear of eternal damnation or. Judgment or sin or whatever you wanna say. And there's a long list of shit you are not supposed to do. Even when I was little, I can recall people who smoked a cigarette or when I took ballet, people who were gay and, and they were not evil, monstrous people that, uh, my religion growing up made them out to be.And so I think that that time in my life reboot in terms of rewriting the rules in my head of how I'm allowed to live and how I want to live. But also, uh, it was, it was a journey back to like the part of me earliest on that suspected from the get-go that there weren't as many. Delineations between people, all the different people that I met that, that it was made out to be.Yeah. That were all pretty much the same. Yeah, we're a lot closer and, you know, gay or not gay, um, Catholic or not, Like being Catholic was horrible where I grew up in the church I grew up, they thought if you were, if you were Catholic, if you were part of a cult. And I was like, and then I grew up and I was like, what?Like if you practiced yoga or meditation, you were, you were getting too close to the devil. Like just some really whacked out stuff. So it was a very, it was a very tiny world that they gave you in which to operate. And I never liked that. I never, never, never, never did I have had a voracious appetite always for everything that's out there.And, and if you wanna get really like, super spiritual about it, I have. Found it to be true that the more I experience and the more people I know and the, the more things I eat and the more things I get to do well, the better. I know God anyway, cuz it's all the same. Yeah. I don't really think God and limits actually go together.Can you give us a little snippet of what that time period look like for you,Um, you're so good at storytelling story. Uh, ok, sure. Um, I've made it very clear that I grew up in a conservative culture that was heavily religious and patriarchal and that also meant any sexuality was completely stamped out and, and forbidden because, you know, it's a gateway to you doing all kinds of things that would take you away from the Lord, whatever.I did wait to have sex until I got married, and my husband at the time was the only person I'd had sex with. So when that relationship was over, I absolutely was like, Well, now I know what I'm doing, . Um, which, you know, for some people, I, I imagine there's a wide range of ways that people would choose to, uh, live out that, that like time of exploration.For me, it primarily meant like saying yes to dates and for the first time in my life, a couple, one night nightstand and . A lot of the time it, I mean, I guess what I should say is it didn't take long for me to realize, maybe it was after three or four partners that I was like, A lot of this is the same , right?Like it's not, I'm anyb blowing experiences . Um, and I that, that in itself I was like, you know, but in particular the way I was operating for a snapshot of a moment, I was staying at this extended ta stay place where they put you up when you're an out of town actor, but you know, anybody can stay there.It's also a hotel. And I had either gotten home that, I can't even remember what time of day it was, but, um, either from rehearsal in the afternoon or in the evening after a show, I don't recall. And I was at the desk and I don't know if I was getting mail or something and I saw a man in the lobby. Sort of standing there and then get into an elevator.And we made eye contact and he was extremely handsome. There was this just sort of like charge, like electric charge. And I just, you know, and he got in the elevator and that was that. Um, but I finished my business, either got a pa, I don't know what it was, package or something anyway, and I went to hit the up button on the elevator and it opened and he was still in there.So he had either come back down or, I don't know. So I, he looked at me and I looked at him and I smiled and I got in the elevator. There was no one else in the elevator and he didn't speak English and he sort of noded and said hello or something. And then he just got really close to me and then we kissed and made out in the elevator until he came Oh my God.To his floor. I know, I know. I sound like I'm trying not to slut shame myself. Um, no, this is an amazing story. He, it was only like four floors up. We got to his floor and he kind of noded and like I said, he didn't speak English, but said, Do you wanna come in? And I, and I just said, No, I don't. I was fine and I didn't wanna do anything that I didn't feel safe with.Like, I was like, I don't really know this person. But I didn't feel unsafe in that moment in the elevator with him. And he was very like, Okay. And said something like Bella or beautiful or something like that. And that was that. And I never saw that person again. Wow. That's exciting. It was a moment where I just remember thinking, I'm going to, I'm gonna say yes to this moment and this instinct.And I did. And I was also really paying attention to my feelings. Uh, I want to, I feel like I should preface this like warning label. I had been spending an a solid year and a half up to that point in therapy, meditating, taking an antidepressant, uh, really working on self care and healing because when I made the decision to leave my ex-husband, I wanted to be able to trust that decision and the place from which I made it.And so I also felt really confident post separation o of what I was exploring and what I was doing. I, I didn't feel like I was. Like rebounding or anything. It wasn't like that. It was, it was a, a very intentional journey of what makes me happy, what feels good, what doesn't feel good. I wasn't always right.Right. Like there was a , there was a one night stand or a good guy that I went on a few dates with, and he totally ghosted me and totally got caught . And we had mutual friends. Oh, yeah. And I, I remember being 100% sort of publicly rejected and walking back to my car after the show and just breathing and thinking, Okay, okay, this is so, huh.So this is what it's like as an adult. You know, you, you choose to operate at this level and share yourself at this level. And it does not equal commitment or relationship. And I knew that cerebrally, but that was the first. That I'd actually experienced it and, and one potential outcome of my choices. It wasn't devastating or anything like that.It was just a, a, what's the word? Like, I was rebuffed. I was, I had very, he very clearly was like, Yeah, I'm done now. And I was likethere. And then now I've like, ok, ok. Pick myself up. And, you know, so a lot of the lessons that I feel like many people get when they're in their early to mid twenties, I wasn't having until a decade later. Yeah. Um, and I was giving myself, for the first time ever in my life, permission to be a sexual person, to follow my instincts, to make mistakes, and to do that shame and judgment.That's amazing. Just for the record, like I feel like I was still doing that in my thirties. I definitely was through my thirties. Like I think I was Sure I was, I've had those experiences even in my early, like in my forties . Yeah. Yes. I think as long as we are trying to learn who we are, you're gonna find these things out one way or the other.Yeah. And relationships with other people are, are our fastest teachers. Yes, they are. And also, but also like, we have to be willing to, you know, really look at ourselves and the role that we play in the relationship. Sure. And, and how we're contributing to whatever the thing is that we have experienced.Even if it's the ghosting, like, oh, I could tell you how I contributed to it. Oh, you're gonna move here. You're gonna move here from Brooklyn. Oh, that's great. Right. . Right. So the girl who had been in a relationship for 10 years and one other relationship before that maybe was not so great at one night stand.Right. And the thing is, is that when we're not willing to actually look at how we're contributing to these circumstances, we never learn. And I know of plenty of people who are still dealing with this in their seventies. Yes. And it's so hard. My parents, who I love deeply have an extremely dysfunctional marriage and they've been married for 48 years and, and it is a wreck.And they've spent that much time together without, yet finding a way, um, for each of them to thrive. You know? And I don't really understand all of the things that contribute to a person's inability to move forward. I imagine that it is so specific. Um, and I know that, you know, past traumas and a mil and access to healthcare and resources, there's so many things that go into it.Our generation, Being able to go to a therapist and or be on an antidepressant without nearly the stigma that our parents had, right? Like, that's a massive leap forward. Um, so there are lots of reasons, but you won't, you won't move forward. If you can't take responsibility for your own shit, you just won't truth, you know?Not that it's easy to do. It is not easy. It's, it's not easy. It's just about the hardest thing, but it gets easier the more you do it. It really does. It's never easy, but it gets easier, I think. But it does get easier because the work becomes more familiar. It's not as, as scary a place as the first time you choose to be so vulnerable to show either someone else or just be honest with yourself about those, those parts of yourself that you, you're embarrassed of or that are dark or that are, you know, have been hurtful or harmful to someone else.But then, Like anything, the more you do it, the more you practice being authentic, the less grip that it has on you and, and you begin to trust the outcome of, of that behavior. Where before it was this big, scary unknown thing and the risk was so huge. But the more you do it, the more you know ultimately what lies on the other side.Yeah. Is where you wanna be. Yeah. And that you'll be okay. You won't die from it. And that everyone else is just as scared to do the same thing and everyone else is hiding or gripping to some similar insecurity or fear. And the more that you just face it and let it out and talk about it, the more you realize we're all pretty similar.Yes. Uh, you know, I think for me, my parents' unhappiness has been a big motivating factor in my own life to not end up in that place and that. Impetus, Right. That, that was my compass of like, well then that means I'm number one. I'm not gonna stay in a miserable marriage. Number two, I've gotta get help for the shit that that is mine.And, and number three, I, I'm gonna have to start tearing apart some of this stuff that I, I've been taught and that we've grown up in that is keeping us broken and tied down. And, and that means walking away from like, Huh. Big existential life defining, you know, not qualities, but like beliefs and, and, and be trusting that I'll be able to withstand the rejection and the disappointment, or, and there was that, you know, from my mom and dad.And then eventually they came around because they love us. They love my sister and I And was it easy at first? Oh my God, no. It was horrible. It was horrible. And I knew that they were disappointed, maybe even embarrassed of me. But in the end, they, they lovingly said, Yeah, oh, we were really wrong. Wow. But yeah, so then through all of that saying yes and exploration, and it was a, it feels like a real messy time.It was a messy, exciting, maybe I started to say reckless, so it probably was in certain moments, reckless maybe that I, because I was so intent unlike, what is this? What is this? I was not fit for up to be a partner to another person at that time. Right. Or a long term partner by any means. So that's what I mean, reckless, Um, because I was too, I was, I was too ready to just move around.And from thing to thing and thing, I didn't, I did not want any other relationship after. 10 years married and 12 years together. And it was so hard and so sad to disentangle myself from that, that I was like, Nope, , let's just play for a while. Yeah. Yeah. And you did, and then you met Kyle and then, Then I met my husband, my, now my number two husband, he always says two and not through.And I'm like, Yes, I'm through . But I would not say, I would not say till death do us part in our vows because I no longer believe in that. Not that I don't believe in death, I do, but what I'm saying is I don't believe you have to promise someone your whole fucking life, cuz nobody knows that. Yeah. So, yes.Okay. So you met, so you, so you met Kyle. Yeah. What, what did you think of Kyle when you first met him? I thought that he was a very. Labrador of a person, just so much. He was so much, and there were so many emojis and exclamation points, and he, he was really happy and I, I felt like Kyle was a lot. It was, he, he was so laser focused on me, which in some ways was amazing.Yeah. I'd never had someone who was like, You, you're it , you know? I mean, I guess, but not, not in that way. Or maybe I, What I should say is I'd never had someone who was the type of person Kyle was, say something like that. The people who had said it before. Were people who were emotionally unavailable. So when they would say, You, you're it, they, it would be like half of a piece of toast.And I'd be like, Thank you, . Kyle said, You're, it's like, Here is past of Whole Foods. He's like, You done it all. Um, I and I, it was so much, it was so much and a lot, and he was very different than any person I had ever, ever dated. And I was very skeptical. . So skeptical. There was not a dark or brooding. Shred in his entire existence.And that was what I generally was attracted to, was like these, you know, injured, hurt, addict, sexy men. Even if I didn't know that about them, if I was drawn to them nine times outta 10, that, that, that was all in the mix somewhere. Um, Kyle was none of those things. And so the Compass, one of my friends told me, Girl, your picker is broken.So my broken picker was like, Nah, , no thanks. Woo. Where were you in your journey of figuring yourself out at this point, would you say? Um, I was still, I was still dating around. Mm-hmm. . Um, I had had one like longer term relationship right after I had left my husband. Um, and I had ended that relationship. Um, Because that person had a significant drinking problem.I had had no intention of settling down really with any person. But I do think, I do think I did eventually wanna find another partner, but I didn't wanna get married again at all. Why , Why do you, why did you hang out with Kyle? Kyle is like magic. There's no other person in my life that I have ever connected with in the way that I connect to Kyle.He makes me laugh. And it is a, it is a, an, uh, it throws me off balance every time I get, It's a silly way to say it, but I get tickled, right? Like he's still to this day will. Catch, like say things and it catches me off guard. And I am delighted by him. And even though he was nerdy and, um, you know, like I mentioned before, like more, definitely more clean cut and just not, like I said, not anything like the guy that, that guys that I had normally gone for something about him when I was around him, I was relaxed.Mm. And I That's huge. Yeah. I relaxed and I had so much fun and. A, a girlfriend of mine at the time, I remember saying to her like, I don't know. Right? Like, I don't know if he's gonna be alpha enough for me. Like, God, what a conti thing to say. But that is what I said by all means. I was not like fully realized as a person that Jesus at that point in time, and we probably aren't ever, but I didn't know if our chemistry was gonna be enough or if he was gonna be, you know, exciting enough for me or whatever.I actually, this is something that I wanted to talk about because I think we get. So used to the like excitement, like the artists who are, you know, intense and brooding and dangerous and sexy and the excitement and danger of not knowing what's next. Do they love me? Are they playing games with me? Will I ever see them again?You know? Yeah. And when and how. And then you see them again and it's like you feel like you are everything in the earth. Sure. It's a horrible cycle. Yeah. Yeah. It's a cycle. And then, but then it's like that that anxiousness, that a accompanies like the volatility of those types of relationships I think is what we often mistake for chemistry.Like we think that's true. The excitement, We think it's excitement. We think it's attraction, but it's really anxiety. And so then when we meet someone's, and it's, yes, it's from a trauma childhood, a hundred percent. And then when we meet someone romantically who like doesn't. Make us feel those same ups and downs, then we are in this position where we're like, I don't know, like he's great, but I feel like something's missing.Or like, there's no chemistry. And it's like, No, what we're missing is the instability that we are so accustomed to, but we, we, we interpret his chemistry. Yep, Yep. It's, I mean, I don't even think that I really, I really understood all of that, but you just spoke about until, oh, Jesus, I don't know, maybe four or five years, maybe even.I'm not even sure I understood it when I married Kyle. I don't, I'm not sure I could have articulated it that well. Um, I don't think I understood this until, honestly, just a few months ago, , you know, Kyle was stable and safe and probably the biggest difference between him and and everyone else in my life up to that point is that Kyle put all his cards on the table right at the get go and.I think that number one, I didn't know what to do with all that. And number two, the allure of like, who is this person? Or is this, you know, like, like what we talked about with a person who is not fully invested. That was what my normal was. And that there's part of a chase, right? And, uh, you, you learn to evaluate your own self worth with whether or not you succeed in getting this person's attention.Slash commitment a thousand percent, right? Yeah. And so where's the thrill that you're used to with a person who's like, Hey, I'm here all, every bit of me. Let's do this all the time. And you're like,Um, but I had a very, that very good friend that I was talking about, she said, you know, well, , if there's anything at all that you like about him, go on another date. Just go on a date, another date until you are sure that no. Okay. I know, and I could not deny that every time we did anything, I never felt better.I never once had a bad time even, even on like, you know, like awkward dates or whatever, which are inevitable. He still , he still always managed to just, I don't know, be he's, Kyle is exactly who he is. He, there's no pretense with him and he, he is willing to be in his own life a hundred percent and be present and answer questions and.I had never had that before with a person, so it felt overwhelming. Mm-hmm. . But it was also this new land. It it was safe. It was a place to be stable. Yeah. And I could relax. I, I don't know that I ever had relaxed in a relationship before, ever. The, And it built off of that. Right. And I, I think that number one, he was tremendously patient.And, uh, number two, he gave me space when I asked for space. And I was not ready when I met him to be his girlfriend at all. And I said that, and. He wanted to , he was, I think what he said was, I, this is like two or three months after we'd gone out on our first date or something, and he was like, I wanna date you.I wanna date this shit outta you, . And I said, Do you so cute? Do you mean like exclusively? And he was like, Yes, Rebecca, yes. And I was like, No, I can't, I can't do that. I'm not, I'm not ready for that. Um, if it makes you feel any better, you're in first place. And, but I can't, He says, he said later, he was like, That's all I needed to hear.I knew, like, he was like, I could see, he was like, The guys you dated that were terrible people, , he like, knew eventually come to senses. Wow. But I did, I did have to just take my time. And I, I think about, I moved to LA during that time. I lived by myself during that time and we did, We dated other people.Right? I did. Yeah. And not very many, like one or two guys and I not for very long. And I was clear with Kyle. I told him I'm, I'm gonna date people when I go out there. I, you know, if I, if I decide to sleep with anybody else but you, I'll let you know because I feel like that is, you know, respectful practice.But I really think that I was healing as a person and that the time I was taking with myself and making my own choices and living my own life allowed me to slowly see Kyle for the gift that he really was. Um, and as I was in LA in a new place, still being drawn towards the same old type of person at the same time, I was disappointed in them, which had never happened before.Ah, that's interesting. I was like, one guy in particular, I remember. I, I, we'd been making out or something and, and I was like, Are you, I've got a question for you. You know how you are when you're dumb and dating somebody at the beginning. And I was like, Are you ever silly? Do you ever, you know, are you, would you ever call yourself a silly person?And he was like, No, no, never. Oh, bored. And I, yeah, I felt my stomach kind of sink. And what I realized was, Oh, I'm valuing different things now. Like the, the love and delight and, and just spontaneity and silliness that comes with Kyle that I really like. I like it in my life and I like it as a part of me.I don't wanna date somebody who doesn't have that, and that would never have been a quality that was important to me a couple years prior. But I, I don't think I, I would've been able to appreciate it any earlier in life than I did. You know, That's why I say, I, I said yes to Kyle when he when he said, I'll go to the movies with you.Uh, because I had made a commitment to saying yes, not because I looked at him and was like, Oh yeah, hey. Right. That was not it. I remember thinking like, Okay, and I thought he might be gay, and I was like, Maybe you'll be my new gay friend that I go to movies with. Like, I had no idea what I was getting into at all with this person, and it changed my entire life and is the very, the very best thing that has ever happened to me.So, you know, it's him and him knowing himself and giving me space to know myself. When was the point or what was the point where you understood that you were ready to commit fully to Kyle? It's, it's, it was around that same time I was talking about that guy and I, I called my sister because Kyle, we'd been dating now for a year and a half and I still wouldn't.Commit to being, I hated this, but I was like, I'm, I'm not gonna be your girlfriend. I was married for a decade, for Christ's sake. I don't wanna be somebody's girlfriend. Right? Like, that just sounds so dumb. But I kept calling him the guy I'm seeing . And he was like, Yeah, that's really not, Yeah, that's so clearly.I had some hangups. Um, but I called my sister and I was like, I don't know Laura. Like, I like this guy. And he's, you know, the chemistry is just really exciting, but I kind of also feel like we might just burn each other out and, you know, but then I asked him, Is he silly? And he was like, No. And like, being silly was some kind of like disease or something.And I, and then Kyle and she, and she said to me, and Becky is what I was called growing up, by the way. So she was like, Becky, look, , there will always be more guys. Okay, Always. But Kyle is not gonna wait on you forever. So you need to just go ahead and decide. , either you're gonna be in a relationship with him and figure out if it works or just stop.And in that moment that sounded very clear to me and made sense. And I was like, Yeah, actually I need to stop waiting to, because I'm scared to see if it will be enough and I need to figure out if it will be or not. And um, so I think it was maybe two days later that he had already, we'd already had a trip planned for him to fly to LA and I told him, Yeah, okay, I want to do this and I wanna see what that means for me.And then we've been together ever since. So, , you took a lot of risks with Kyle, meaning I did like you moved to California and dating other people, and all of the things you just described, you mentioned to me. Phone call that you felt like you had or you had to be okay with losing Kyle. Yes. In order to arrive at a place of trust in yourself.That is hundred percent true. It seems like you always had a lot of trust in yourself, like even from early on, I mean, breaking off your engagement and mm-hmm. leaving your family and your religion and Yeah. Leaving a marriage. Like how do you consistently show up for yourself and have your own back in these moments of hard decisions and moments when maybe other people you're close with think you're making mistake?Um, thank you for saying that. I am not a person who enjoys dissonance or conflict. It's necessary. I've spent a lot of time in therapy learning that you can hold two opposing things at the same time, and they can both very much be true. Um, it is an uncomfortable place for me when something feels wrong inside of me or unjust.It is almost like I cannot even swallow. I can't, My chest gets too tight. I, I don't feel like I can move forward or take another step until I am righted within myself. In the instance when I was young, really young and engaged, I didn't have any good reason to. To break off that engagement except that I didn't want to get married.Well, that right there is a good enough reason, right? But not when you've already bought a wedding dress and you have bridesmaids dresses and you've got the photographer and you've been dating for two years, and you're gonna be missionaries together for the glory of the Lord and da da da. There was a whole lot invested in this relationship and how it appeared, but something didn't feel good and enough to where I was like having panic attacks and I, I was really sick to my stomach a lot of the time, and I, I just couldn't do it.AndI think for me, at least in the two relationships before Kyle, I reached such a pro, sadly, a profoundly dark place in my life that I didn't want. I just, that's wasn't what I wanted my fucking life to be like. I. I did not want to stay in West Virginia. I love West Virginia. I love my, my parents and my friends in my home.And, but I, I have always wanted to experience everything I get my hands on. And, um, I think the deepest part of me knew that that wasn't gonna happen in that relationship. And, and, and I got, I, I, like, I could go into it further, but I got really sick. I weighed 103 pounds. I couldn't eat. I was having panic attacks.It's the first time I started seeing a therapist. And it was because I was trying to force myself into this idea of what was right and good and holy and, you know, and it wasn't for me. And then when it came to leaving my marriage, I was miserable. I was, I was just so fucked up and broken and sad from this square peg, round hole arrangement.And it took so much undoing because I grew up in a place of marriages forever. You don't get divorced. Not unless he's hitting you, right. And even then you might not. And he was a very, he was a good man, quote unquote, right? So I think it'd be nice to say that I knew some secret way to be in tune with myself, but actually I just was so god damn miserable both times that I couldn't keep doing it.And. You know, I suppose there are, there are a couple things, right? So as I'm talking this out, we talked about verbal processing and what do you learn? Mm-hmm. . Um, first one, first engagement. No, I knew I didn't wanna stay at home. That was not my plan. So that was a deep core value in me. Whether I had defined it that way or not.Second marriage was kids. Um, that's probably what did it. Uh, we both wanted kids very much, but we were a mess. My first husband and an I and I wa I was not going to do to my children. What was done to me firmly, firmly made that promise. And so for three years, every New Year's Eve, we made a promise. This is the year we'll get it together.This is the year we'll get our shit together and we'll try for a family. And, and we never could. , and I very, very clearly remember that final New Year's Eve just being out of my body, just thinking like this is done. How much more time am I gonna waste? How much more time am I gonna waste? Because I wanted kids and I wanted them, but I wanted to give them what I didn't have.So I trusted those deep, deep things in myself that were calling out to me. And I don't know if that's helpful to anybody else who's trying to figure it out or not, but that's how it helped. I mean, that's how it felt to me. Yeah. And that's what, That's why Kyle, I think I, I've said before, the way he is, the humor that.It's like he has some sort of special key to a part of me that unlocked this. Like, Oh, right. Things are not so fucking hard. They're not actually, they can be really fun and really easy. And that's not to say that there weren't times of tension, like you mentioned. Like I did have to be willing to let Kyle go.I didn't know from the get go, I knew more, Oh, I still need space here. No, I'm not ready to fucking put a ring on my finger. No. Like things like that that I had to be willing to say. And I guess you, you asked how did I know I'd come that far? At that point, I was in my late thirties and I was like, Nah, this has been working for me.Right. This listening and trusting, so I'm just gonna keep doing it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you wanted ultimately, it sounds like. Yeah. I, I was so tired of being afraid. Yeah. Afraid that I was making the wrong choice. Afraid that I was making God mad, afraid that I was gonna ruin my life, afraid that, whatever, you know, And I just refused to be afraid anymore.And, and that meant, that actually just meant doing what I wanted to do and facing the consequences, but knowing that I'd be okay. Yeah. Okay. So you guys got married? ? We didHe wore me down. Um, you know, I, we dated for three years before we got married. Much more than five months. He is six and a half years younger than me and had never been married. Yeah. He is younger than me. I didn't, We dated for three years and he moved to LA and, you know, we had this glorious. Grand time and wonderful adventure there.And, um, I wasn't sure that I wanted to get married again because it ended, it had, it was now tied to so much sadness. The idea of it, like my parents' marriage was always fucked, but then my own marriage that I really, really wanted to work did not. And so I, I just really wanted nothing to do with it. And then he like eased me into the conversation and he goes, Well, what if we just had a small, like, private ceremony, not even legal, just in the backyard with close friends.And then he was like, Well, I kind of feel like if we're gonna have kids, we should get married. And then also, my husband's mother had cancer and, and Kyle had never been married. And I just sort, it all just sort of went away and I was like, Fuck it. He can, you know, he wants this, right? Like it's a dream of his, and I'm sure, and I know his mother wanted him to have that experience.And so I was like, whatever , I'll just, I'll just it up. But they, I also, like, I didn't change my name and um, I said, No, I'm not saying till death do you part, like that's, I don't you Kyle, you know that? I don't believe that anything. We just don't know what the future holds. Yeah. Um, and he was like, Great, great, great.I love all of it. He goes, Just let me project the bat signal when we exit after we're married. Can I do that? What? I was like, I know, I forgot that I didn't tell you this. My husband loves Batman. Oh my God, this is amazing. Go on. Is it, is it, Well, Molly, is it, I dunno. Was with a deep undying devotion and the church took down.Is it pyramids or estimates, the like stuff that hangs at the front big wall of the church and one of our friends got a Batman gobo and a big light from one of the studios and we projected the bat signal and played the Danny Elfman Batman thing when we exited the church. Yeah. So he owes me forever. So it might not be until death do you part, but he owes you till death to part was right.Like, and everybody knows this about Kyle, like here's how deep his love goes for Batman. Mm-hmm not only does he have a Batman tattoo, he's got tons of Batman everything. My husband dressed up as Batman and went to Lurie Children's Hospital of his own accord. He knew someone there and would go and talk to the kid, like just to think.He didn't tell people he was doing it. It was just a thing he. That's the man I'm married. I , I, yeah. Adore him. He's amazing. I've only met him once very, very briefly. hardly talked to him at all, but he was a wonderful human being. What a guy. What a guy. Yeah. Yeah. So I, you know, like in the end I'm always like, Okay, fine.Whatever. . Yeah, yeah. Right, Because he's, because he's great. So, and I wanna be real clear, we fight, Okay. Everybody, we fight. I have said horrible things to him. He has said horrible things to me. Every, We have two children now. We're so fucking tired. We barely have sex like that. You know, I, I wanna be really honest.Everything is not like glorious and perfect. Yeah. But I love him. I love him, and he is my partner and. We are, we are honest with each other and we are kind to each other more than we are not. And that is, I I, I didn't know that partnership could be like this. We work really hard on ourselves to bring our best selves to this partnership and now to our kids, like we're in it to win it with these babies.They are, they are our everything. So that means you don't fuck around. Right. It's their life. Yeah. It's their life and you are their safe space. So tell me what part of you, if any, feels settled. Mm-hmm. . And what part of you, if any, feels wanting for more stillsettled. I, I mean, I got my family, right? I got a partner that I love and I. We did ended up having to do ivf. It was a whole thing, but we got two kids. Um, that is settled sometimes. I can't believe that I ended up with this fairy tale of, of things being as good as they are unsettled. It's a given and take.Right? I miss traveling. I miss the freedom of. Kids mostly have hampered that, but like, let's go get a cocktail and get wasted . Right? That doesn't happen anymore. You've wrecked, you wrecked for two days now and you can't parent like that. Spirit of full disclosure, Kyle and I talked like, would we ever be in an open relationship?Is that something that we would ever consider? And I was like, Yeah, I'd consider it. And he was like, No, I would not consider it. . Which probably comes as a surprise to absolutely know one. Do you, do you dress up as Catwoman for him? ? Oh yeah. Molly, have I have? Uh, yeah, it's photo evidence nonsense. Oh my God.Thank you for answering that very hard question. Um, I'm, well I guess I'll just ask you this because we talked about it earlier. What, through this conversation, what have you learned about yourself? Um, I think. The thing that sticks out and you ask me like, how have you always trusted yourself?I, I have a lot of thought swirling around that. Um,because I feel for so long that I didn't trust myself. In fact, I was taught not to trust myself. What I was taught is that we are inherently evil and that our desires are always gonna be sinful. And that what you have to do is learn what God wants for your life and learn what, what God's path is. And that is so profoundly damaging to a human being to say, No, don't trust yourself cuz what you want is probably wrong.And I think that's why I stayed in certain situations for so long. , even though I knew I didn't like it, I didn't know how to justify my own feelings. So maybe just remembering that I am capable of more than I really, I don't ever view myself the way that you described just now. Um, I always feel a lot more scared and fragile and bruised than I guess it appears.Right. And trying to bring those two things together, right. What I'm capable of and what I've been through. And then also recognizing that sometimes I stilla am am as lost as the next person, you know, And that you'll get through that. Yeah. Cuz you have before. Sure. Sure. Yes. . Yes. And when it feels like shit, just know that this is just the time for feeling like shit. You know? I think I mentioned this to you in one of our phone calls, but it stuck with me and it stuck with me when I was going through my divorce.But, um, when a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it actually liquefies its whole body does before it reemerges as a butterfly, it literally turns to goo its whole self before the metamorphosis. Metamorphosis. And I forget which author, you know, wrote about that, but, but that there are times in our lives when we are goo and you are gonna feel like goo, like shit, like just a, a mess, a glob of a human.And that's, I think I'm in that phase being a parent of two young children. You know, mid post pan Pandemic pandemic. Where are we at now? Who the fuck knows? Um, 44 years old in my career where the value is on 24 year olds, right? Like there's a lot of my aging parents there. There's a lot of new territory for me right now.Um, and I am, like I said, I am tired. Um, and just remembering that feeling like this is, is literally an essential, if not the most essential part of the transformation. So, Well said. Someone else said it, but I'll repeat it. , No. Whatever.I think about it a lot though. I'm like, Oh, I'm due right now. I'm, I'm, I'm a mess right now. And that is just, I always ask people to introduce themselves in the, in the beginning, however you introduce yourselves. And I'm curious, without using titles such as actor, wife, or mother or whatever, how would you define your identity?I am Rebecca Ward, A lover of people and words, and tastes and sounds and smells. I cannot wait for every new adventure. I, I always used to say that you can't have, that You can have everything. Yes, you can. You may not be able to have it all at the same time, but you can have everything. I don't like it when people tell me no.So . Okay, good. I'm glad that you said that. Sure you can. Thank you. Thank you. I needed to hear that good. Yeah. I mean, you know, it, it, there's no limitations. What is it that I think Deepak Chopra always talks about the field of limitless possibilities. We live in a field of limitless possibilities. Yes. I, I like just thinking about that and then taking a deep breath.There's something inherently hopeful that goes along with that statement, you know? Yes. I love that. I feel like that's the, the whole point and theme of this entire podcast. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, things will come out of the woodwork that you never expected. My nickname for Kyle is Left Field because that's exactly where he came from.Thank you to David Ben Perra for Sound Engineering. Dan Daven for music, David Harper for artwork. I'm Molly Cider. I am This age is produced by Jellyfish Industries. And hey, if you're loving these episodes, don't forget to rate review, and most importantly, share with everyone you know. We need help growing this show so we can keep sharing stories.If you have an idea for a podcast and need someone to produce it for you, email info@jellyfishindustries.com, or if you're struggling in your next life journey and you need support, contact molly@jellyfishindustries.com for a free discovery coaching call. See you all next time.
Bonus Episode Part 2 with Elaine Appleton Grant! Today Elaine talks about her change journey from working in public radio and at the Wondery network to starting her own podcast production company called Podcast Allies at the age of 57. To my surprise and Elaine's credit, she barely ever thought about her age when diving into this career pivot. Listen now to find out why she's proud to be this age! Elaine Appleton Grant is a longtime journalist, writer, and editor who has worked for public radio in Boston and Colorado. She wrote and produced podcast episodes for Wondery's “Business Wars Daily” and the “Tulsa Race Massacre” episodes for “American History Tellers.” A few years ago, at the age of 57 she started her podcast production company, Podcast Allies, where they consult produce and train podcasters.Elaine just launched her own podcast called “Sound Judgment” where she interviews some of the best podcast hosts and producers in the business to better understand how to make compelling content and tell good stories. Sound Judgment PodcastPodcast Allies@podcastallies@iamthisage_podcast
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