Podcasts about we turned out okay

I'm thrilled to bring you this conversation with world-class coach Mike Harris! (FYI: There is some mild adult language in here, so maybe listen away from sensitive ears or use ear buds : )  Mike is currently writing a book on the value he holds most dear, freedom. He's a deep thinker who understands the importance of irreverence – in fact I almost called today's episode after something Mike says in our conversation: "There is a certain irreverence in having choice." He brings playful energy, a fascinating life journey that brought him where he is today, and at heart a vision for how we can all enjoy the pants off of our lives! Here are some other mic drops you'll hear Mike share: "The world is skewed toward a linear expression of how things are supposed to go." "What if play weren't a reward in a transaction?" "What if we lived our entire lives in the value of freedom?" It's so good! A couple notes: 1. This was originally supposed to be two episodes… I chose to keep the tape running, instead bringing you one longer one. If the ideas are flying at you fast and furious, and you need to pause and come back, I wanted to give you the choice of when and how to do that. But I bet that you, like me, will dive in and this time will go so quickly! 2. Fellow world-class coach Marilyn Dollar was planning to join us but there was a technological snafu… You'll hear us talk about her, and while she doesn't make it into today's conversation she will be coming on the show. So stay tuned : ) I hope you love this conversation as much as I did! Here are the links that come up in today's episode: Mike's home-on-the-web, MikeFHarris.com Books that have had a huge influence on Mike: Crazy Good by Steve Chandler Tao Te Ching Books that have had a huge influence on me: The Courage to Heal The Jeeves and Wooster books by PG Woodhouse (I cite one in this conversation, The Jeeves Omnibus. But they're all amazing) Office Space, the movie 100 Truths You Will Learn Too Late, an amazing book Cory Wong, the awesome song by Vulfpeck featuring guitarist Cory Wong Episode 363, my conversation with Washington Post Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey Episode 48, my conversation with author and poet Daniel Wolff This episode's home on the web: weturnedoutokay.com/371 Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher! Here are a few choice spots: Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

In this episode I talk to leadership and play coach Karen Lock Kolp about some of my favorite topics; relaxation and play and how they're heavily intertwined. We cover...Karen's backgroundExercises to help you find your energyRole-modelling as parentsHow children can not only follow what you model, they can be good teachers tooThe power of intuition - how it lives in the body, not the brainAn exercise on listening to your heartKaren's playbookHow Karen rests and playsAbout The Guest - Karen Lock KolpKaren is an executive, leadership and play coach. Her podcast is called ‘We Turned Out Okay' and her forthcoming book is called ‘The WTOO Playbook of days'. Her mission in life is to restore play to its extremely important place in the pantheon of human ingenuity. She believes in magic and she believes in the power of play to solve any problem, even the really big ones! Her website - https://weturnedoutokay.comHer weekly newsletter - https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly/Her podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-we-turned-out-okay-podcast/id990826225And remember, do not forget about yourself, take a few minutes for you and have a little fun!About The Host - Janine HalloranJanine Halloran is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, an author, a speaker, an entrepreneur and a mom. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Janine has been working primarily with children and adolescents for over 15 years. She loves to create products and resources, so she started two businesses to support families and professionals who work with children and teens. ‘Coping Skills for Kids' provides products and resources to help kids learn to cope with their feelings in safe and healthy ways. It's the home of the popular Coping Cue Cards, decks of cards designed to help kids learn and use coping skills at home or at school. Janine's second business ‘Encourage Play' is dedicated to helping kids learn and practice social skills in the most natural way - through play! Encourage Play has free printables, as well as digital products focused on play and social skills.Coping Skills for Kids - https://copingskillsforkids.comEncourage Play - https://www.encourageplay.comInterested in reading my books? The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook - https://store.copingskillsforkids.com/collections/coping-skills-for-kids-workbook/products/coping-skills-for-kids-workbook-digital-versionSocial Skills for Kids - https://store.copingskillsforkids.com/collections/encourage-play/products/social-skills-for-kids-workbook

Karen believes in the power of play to solve any problem, even the really big ones. She is an Executive, Leadership, and Play coach. Her podcast is called We Turned Out Okay. Her forthcoming book is called the We Turned Out Okay Playbook of Days, and her mission in life is to restore play to its extremely important place in the pantheon of human ingenuity. In our conversation, we discuss loneliness, holding up mirrors and the importance of resting and recovery. The areas covered in the conversation: 1. Karen's Background Bio 2. Karen's strengths in life 3. A discussion on loneliness 4. Mirrors in coaching 5. The importance of resting & recovery 6. Karen's last 3 words & message to the world Connect with Karen Instagram: @weturnedoutokay Facebook: @weturnedoutokay Twitter: @weturnedoutokay Connect with your Host: My Name is Bhavik Patel. I am a British Serial Entrepreneur and lover of life. For the last 20 years, I have started, grown and sold multiple businesses and now I am moving into the mindset space to help people grow and Motivating you to Unlock your Potential and Inspiring you to Live the exceptional Life you Deserve! Instagram: @bhavikp.limitless Facebook: Bhavik Patel LinkedIn: Bhavik Patel

"Is this something that I care about, or is this something that someone else thinks I should care about?" – Shari Medini That's what I almost called today's episode (but used another excellent quote from today's guest for brevity's sake : ) If you want a conversation about handling all the stuff that is flying at you… If you want to feel better about the choices that you have that maybe you didn't even realize… You will love this talk with Shari Medini, one half of the duo at Adore Them Parenting! Shari and her cofounder Karissa Tunis have written a great book, Parenting While Working from Home, and offer their help and support to parents from their website. They brought me into their virtual summit this winter – you can hear the audio from my presentation at the end of today's episode in fact, presenting on a subject that is near and dear to my heart! I know you're going to love our conversation! Video of my conversation with Shari and my presentation for the Adore Them Summit: https://weturnedoutokay.com/365 Cheers! And thank you for listening! Karen PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven't already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter. It's free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – in both my hands… The newsletter is where I share my best essays, stories, and tools. Because it's more personal, it's even better than the podcast! Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : ) Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher! Here are a few choice spots: Apple Podcasts... http://bit.ly/WTOOApple Spotify... http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify Stitcher Podcasts... http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

Greetings! In today's episode we examine the process of getting what our heart longs for, in a coaching conversation with one of my 1-to-1 coaching clients! As you'll hear, Regan is a mom and an attorney, currently (along with her husband) working from home while their children are home as well, in in virtual/hybrid school. Regan gets courageous and vulnerable with us today. She shares the dream of her heart for her kids… and what she's doing each and every day to help make that dream come true. In our conversation you'll learn: – How to get your heart's desire – The importance of big dreams and tiny action steps – Making both your superpower AND the dark side of that superpower work for you in achieving your dreams Lately I've been asking coaching clients "what makes my coaching magical?" (You'll hear Regan and I talk about this in this episode.) The answers I'm getting back are fascinating – it turns out that something I'm really good at is helping parents stop treading the conventional path and do what works for THEM, and their family. We all have dreams. What are you doing to make yours reality? If you're ready to go on the adventure of your life with me as your guide, write me, and let's talk! Plus… This is a digest episode, so in addition to our conversation I'm bringing you a story that I recently sent to the folks in my free email newsgroup! Click this link to get weekly letters like this delivered right to your inbox: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly I share about the "Parents Working from Home" free virtual summit that I'm honored to be included in (happening this coming Saturday 2/27, 10 AM to 1 PM EST). And, I give you an update on a new segment of this podcast: it's called Triumphs and Misdemeanors, and I hope you will be a part of it! Join us! Key Links: Click here for psychologist – and friend-of-the-podcast – Shannon Connery's recent episode of her Fix Yourself podcast, in which she talks about energy level and a way to think of it that's been really helpful for me recently. Maybe it will be helpful for you, too! Click here for the weekly planner that Regan and I discuss in this episode. The planner was once exclusively for people in my Ninja Parenting Community, but I am sharing it here with you today in hopes that it will help you to see your entire week in one half sheet piece of printer paper. Enjoy! Click here to sign up for the free Parenting While Working from Home Virtual Summit taking place Saturday February 27 from 10 AM to 1 PM EST. (Also I'll be stopping by the Facebook group associated with the Virtual Summit between noon and 1 PM EST. Maybe I'll see you there!) Click here to read the story that I share today in the latter part of this episode, called "What my Italian relatives know about the off-season." (This is also where you can see the picture I mention in today's episode, me in Venice in 1992, wearing *quite* a sweater : ) Click the following link to view the show notes from today's episode on my website: weturnedoutokay.com/357 _________________________________________________ Get my best advice for handling the challenges that come up on your parenting journey, through the We Turned Out Okay podcast: Listen in your favorite podcatcher!

Greetings! Today I've got five ways that parents I work closely with are keeping going… Because even though we can see some hope on the horizon, circumstances on the ground are, shall we say, not ideal. So if you need a little help getting good behavior from your kids, feeling seen and heard and cared for in your life, or feeling happy inside, here are five ways you may not have considered yet to accomplish those tasks.… Plus the Parenting News Segment returns today, with reports on how to not use social-emotional learning for evil, and also something called "toxic positivity." Join us! Here are the links that come up today: This episode's home-on-the-web is weturnedoutokay.com/355 In the first few minutes of today's show I share (a little bit) about my experience of being sexually abused when I was seven years old. This comes up in my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, in the chapter called How to Help if Something's Wrong; you can buy the book by clicking here I share about being hospitalized with diverticulitis last fall in episode 349: Kindergarten Evals, Parent-Teacher-Conferences, and Lessons I learned from being hospitalized last week, weturnedoutokay.com/349 Beloved Ninja Parenting Community alum Jen came on the show in summer 2019 to talk about how she got control over the direction her family is going: weturnedoutokay.com/288 In episode 300 of We Turned Out Okay, two amazing and close friends of mine, licensed mental health counselor Janine Halloran and veteran preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso came on the show, and unbeknownst to each other (or me) they both brought the same topic: Social Emotional Learning… Weturnedoutokay.com/300 Speaking of Janine Halloran, she's going to be an expert speaker in the Parenting in Place Masterclass Series this winter! Register for this awesome series by going to parentinginplacemasterclass.com Today I share that I am planning a new segment of the show… that it's going to include input from our wonderful listeners… and the first people who will know about it are those who get my free weekly newsletters! Find out what's up by subscribing for these newsletters yourself: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly If you want to start getting my free weekly newsletters AND you've got reluctant or unhappy readers at home, sign up for my free Guide to Creating Happy Readers at weturnedoutokay.com/readers Thank you for listening and reading! You rock!

Best 2020 highlights on using music and memories, writing painful stories, online writing tools and new podcast. The end of a crazy 12 months is nearly here and what a year 2020 has been! Soon I'll be taking a break from the website until the new year. But I'm leaving you with the best of 2020 articles from Forever Young Autobiographies! ⇨ YOU WILL LEARN: * How music and memories go together * Writing advice for handling painful stories * The best online writing tools to try * Why you should listen to audiobooks (and the new Forever Young Autobiographies podcast!) * Dig in and discover life-story writing tips to start the new year strong ⇨ FULL ARTICLE Click to read: https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/best-of-2020/ ⇨ VIDEO PODCAST Click to watch: https://youtu.be/5tIxtPABpkg ⇨ FREE GIFT Your Family Stories System: Easily capture your loved ones' memories for future generations - FREE sections, click to sign up: https://wp.me/P8NwjM-b5 ⇨ YOUR SAY I will be brainstorming new article ideas for the website while I'm away. And I'd love to hear your ideas or suggestions! Leave me a comment below or here https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/contact/ ⇨ RELATED LINKS Midyear 2020 highlights: Best of 2020 articles and writing tips for beginners https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/2020-highlights/ Best of 2019: Writing tips + writing advice articles you read most this year https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/best-of-2019/ How to start writing: The ultimate guide about planning to write life stories https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/how-to-start-writing/ Writing tips: The ultimate guide of life-story tips for new writers https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/writing-tips/ Edit: The ultimate guide to polishing your writing https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/edit/ Celebrating family on the We Turned Out Okay podcast https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/we-turned-out-okay-podcast/ ♡ Thanks for listening - PLEASE SUBSCRIBE if you are new and SHARE THE SHOW if you found it helpful! Happy writing! ⇨ ABOUT ME Hi and welcome! My name is Nicola and I help you learn how to write and self-publish life stories for family and friends so that unique memories live on. For decades I've told thousands of people's stories as a print journalist and would love to hear yours! ⇨ WEBSITE https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com ⇨ FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/foreveryoungautobiographies ⇨ YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6nfZWWTeRpBWMcxluLDa-w

If there was ever a time to call what we are all doing "crisis parenting," now is it. In this episode, I bring you a critical tool to help you keep going! I also share about why I called this show "We Turned Out Okay, The Modern Parent's Guide to Old-School Parenting." A mom in the WTOO Facebook group asked that question, and this Basics Bootcamp episode seemed like the perfect time to talk about that! Also today, I have three things to invite you into! In chronological order: 1. October's We Turned Out Okay Playbook The October 2020 issue of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook gives you tools for getting the behavior you WANT from your child – it goes to print at noon on Wednesday 10/23! Licensed mental health counselor and best-selling author Janine Halloran calls my Playbook ""A life raft for families." If a life raft seems like a good idea to you right now, click the link below! weturnedoutokay.com/playbook 2. The rate for my online private coaching practice is going up! I help parents and kids thrive every day in my online private coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC). Members have exclusive access to the WTOO Book Club, twice-monthly Live Members-Only Calls, and some low key, yet powerful, challenges we are doing this autumn! The rate for becoming a member will DOUBLE on Saturday 10/26, so if you've been on the fence about joining the Ninja Parenting Community, get in now before the rate goes up! You'll get your entire first month in NPC for free, too! weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC 3. I'm a Speaker at the Online Toddler Play Summit! My presentation is all about how to keep going while raising will kids, and it's out on Monday, September 28… Get your free ticket to the entire event (there are 20 of us speakers : ) by clicking here Go to weturnedoutokay.com/346 for video of this podcast episode… Other Key Links: Click here for Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my first book. It comes up today because I share (without any detail whatsoever) of being sexually abused at age 7, a story that I tell in this book. Click here for The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. The tool I shared today comes directly from this book : ) This week's highlighted archive episode is located at weturnedoutokay.com/176, my conversation with Ingrid Alli and Hamilton Graziano. We discuss interracial marriage, parenting, and overcoming bias. It's a great past episode and I hope you enjoy it! Also in the pre-intro I talk about one of my personal heroes, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who we lost last week. I ask you to honor her life by being kind and compassionate. I also share about one of my favorite-ever books, Notorious RBG. Highly recommended reading! Hugs! We will get through this together! Cheers! Karen

Show Notes In Episode 150, I catch up with Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. of the We Turned Out Okay website and podcast. Karen is an early childhood development expert and parent coach. Karen helps worried and hovering parents by bringing reassuring, helpful advice and conversations. She offers simple strategies and guidance in her book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know: How to Stop the Chaos, Bring Out Your Child’s Good Behavior, and Truly Enjoy Family Time. Big Ideas • Making little tweaks in our parenting can have positive effects that make our lives easier and calmer. • Kids are very capable and can contribute a lot in the home. • It’s important to lower our expectations of ourselves and focus on some daily connection time with family rather than all of the things we feel like we “must do” right now. • Going through a tough time with at least one person is better than alone—find that person! Quotes Audrey: I think they really need to just relax their expectations of themselves. There's no way you're going to be engaged, connecting, entertaining your children for their entire waking hours. You need to balance it. Try to do something fun every day, maybe for a little bit of time, but also finding those things that can keep your kids busy is really important right now. Karen: As much as you can, make your home life structure so that there is a lot of connection, a lot of laughter, reading aloud to your child. Karen: If you can read aloud to them and make it infectious and fun, you will find them wanting to read aloud to you. And that's what we want. We want it to come from them. We want it to be motivated by them. Karen: It's a rare time for that. I mean, you talk about what is possible, which is an expression that Pat Flynn has used. He is an entrepreneurial podcaster. I really love him. He's got the smart, passive income podcast and he's just relentlessly positive. And he asked the question, “What does this make possible?” And it does make possible a whole bunch of scary things, but we can't live in that space. We have to live like this. Maybe this will make possible some positive things. Maybe our children will discover clay in the brook behind the house and learn how to take that clay and make it into actual, usable, moldable clay. Audrey: Even pretty young kids could help with some cooking, but I mean, if you have even an eight or nine year old, they can cook a meal for you and you can just teach them and then they can just do it on their own. And that would make them feel great and be an incredible life skill to take out of this time. Audrey: My mindset is: everyone's helping, no matter how young you are, we're all going to do something. Audrey: I think sometimes we just have to remember that our kids can do more. So if we're thinking, “Oh my gosh, the house is a mess and I have to do it.” And I think that we can enlist our kids and now more than ever, we can just say, “Hey, we really need you.” Karen: My goal is to change behavior so that you don't have to do as much negative disciplining. You can just be happy because things are much more smooth. Audrey: I think we just all need to take a deep breath and just realize that maybe there's just little tweaks that we can do—simple things that actually make life easier, not harder. Audrey: I also think that it's really important during this time for people to find community. Audrey: We're all okay. It's not looking great really anywhere. And that's okay right now. Audrey: I think it's just finding whatever it is that works for you to get you in the right mindset to be able to be flexible and know that none of us really knows what tomorrow's bringing and we have to just be okay with that because all we can do is try to make the most of today with whatever people we’re with. Audrey: You took something that was really a scary, bad thing and turned it into something amazing. Audrey: I hope that one of the outcomes from this is we all realize that we need each other and we can lean on each other and, we'll get through this better together than alone. Resources/Related Ep. 38: We Turned Out Okay with Karen Lock Kolp Ep. 69: 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know We Turned out Okay (Karen Lock Kolp’s Website) Download Karen’s “Calming the Weeknight Chaos” Helping Your Fearful Kid Try New Things I was also guest on Karen’s We Turned Out Okay Podcast! Our topic was Give Your Child the Magic of Summer Camp! Karen's Interview on Am Writing 32 Ways to Occupy Stuck-At-Home Kids Crucial Conversations Book Smart Passive Income Podcast with Pat Flynn Karen's Ninja Parenting Community Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics Book Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics Podcast Episode Karen's OkayCon 2020 Author: Mary Balogh One Simple Thing My one simple thing tip this week is to focus on strengths. When we've spent a lot of time with people, we can start to get fixated on their faults and the things they do that annoy us. Take a moment to list out the people you're sheltering with and one strength you appreciate about each of them. Focusing on strengths is a great strategy for improving family relationships! Creating a Strengths-Based Camp, American Camp Association Ep. 28: Focusing on our Kids’ Strengths Celebrating Strengths Focusing on Our Kids’ Strengths My Favorite My favorite this week is one of my favorite mood boosters: listening to music! Music, especially songs that have an uplifting beat or lyrics, are a great way to improve your mood. Here are two of my current favorite "feel good" listens. https://youtu.be/8YuWAZmD0aU   https://youtu.be/3osp2p_gLx4  

SENSITIVE EARS ALERT… Part way through this episode I share about a traumatic event that happened to me in my childhood. I ask that you put on headphones, or listen away from sensitive ears. Thank you! Today I share three keys to success, when parenting in a pandemic or any crisis. They are not difficult keys. Because if they were, we wouldn't be able to do them as consistently as they need doing… Instead, the first key is relaxing, the second key is enjoyable, and the the third key takes something negative and frames it to be positive. Also: the day before I recorded this episode I had a total brainwave. I connected up my superpower – helping people feel seen and cared for – to the reason I have this gift, and have had ever since I can remember. It's not a pretty reason. When I was seven years old I was sexually abused, in my own home, with my mom right upstairs. (She was completely unaware, and I would be a senior in college before she discovered the extent of the trauma. In my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, I share about what my folks did that was helpful, even though they had no idea what had happened to me.) After the incident, my whole personality changed. I felt lost, anxious every time we drove out of my ken in the car, and convinced that if I lost sight of my family, they had deserted me. The day before recording this episode I had the following brainwave: My superpower comes from the fact that no one gave me the care that I needed, no one came to my rescue on that day. No one had found me when I was lost. So, I had to learn to do that for myself. I had to take care of little Karen, because no one else was there to do that. And it's left me with a unique ability, that I've been practicing ever since: to make people feel seen, and cared for. It's become the defining value of my life. So if you're feeling lost, or as if no one cares about you, let me be that person for you. As a child development expert, I've never yet met a parent who didn't have some concerns for their children. If you're feeling like everything is impossible right now – lockdown, mask etiquette, school-at-at home, chaos in one corner and fire in another – I can help. I've got two ways: First, I am creating a publication called the We Turned Out Okay Playbook. It is going to be so helpful for you, as you navigate the craziness and help your family through it all. I wrote it to help you LIVE in challenging times, so you and your family can come through them and thrive. Check it out – and download the August 2020 PDF completely free – by going to: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook Second, I'm opening up some time in my schedule to talk. For conversations. Conversation that helps you feel seen, and heard, and cared for. Conversation that helps you handle parenting, in the age of coronavirus. If you want to think possibilities instead of fears… If you want the help of someone who knows her child-development stuff, who helps her clients get real success… If you want to have a conversation that's so helpful that you will literally remember it for the rest of your life… Email me! (I share my email address towards the end of this episode. I won't write it down for bot-fraud-prevention purposes, but suffice it to say that my email address is my name, combined with the name of this website. Or, you could just listen to this episode, where you'll hear me say it out loud : ) I've worked with people who came into a coaching session with me, believing that something was impossible. They came out of it looking forward to some new possibilities and within a very short amount of time (the story that I share in this episode, it was the same day) wrote to me and said "I thought this was impossible, and we are DOING it!" What is possible for you? Let's find out. Key Links The inaugural issue of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook is officially out! Click the link below to view and download your free PDF copy of Issue 1/August 2020: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook The wonderful coach, Mariela Ortiz, was kind enough to include me in her virtual summit, Mommy Matters! Click the link below to join the Free virtual Summit that Mariela is offering, which starts on August 3: https://bit.ly/2Ztu7pJ On August 4 (next week if you're listening in real time) Mariela is my guest on We Turned Out Okay! On that day or after you can click the following link to listen to our conversation: weturnedoutokay.com/342 I am loving the Parenting in Place Masterclass, and talk about this in here today because the second key to success for parenting in the pandemic is a game that I first heard of in this masterclass. Click the link below to find out more about it: parentinginplacemasterclass.com Click the link below for this post in your browser: weturnedoutokay.com/341

Everything you need to know about why audiobooks and podcasts are great for writers. To celebrate the launch of the Forever Young Autobiographies podcast, this week's article is all about why you should listen to audiobooks and podcasts to improve your writing. Plus there is an audiobook competition you will want to enter (more below)! ⇨ YOU WILL LEARN: * Why audiobooks and podcasts are more than just 'reading' * How to hoon through a book in only a few days * Ways to make listening super fast with technology * How to borrow free audiobooks using Libby and BorrowBox * Discover wonderful new ways of listening to inspiring life stories! ⇨ FULL ARTICLE Click to read: https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/why-you-should-listen-to-audiobooks/ ⇨ VIDEO PODCAST https://youtu.be/Pyr50rRj08c ⇨ ENTER TO WIN To celebrate the launch of my new podcast, I'm giving away a one-month Audible gift membership to one lucky listener! See how to enter here https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/why-you-should-listen-to-audiobooks/ ⇨ FREE GIFT Your Family Stories System FREE sections are available here https://wp.me/P8NwjM-b5 ⇨ YOUR SAY Have you tried listening to audiobooks or podcasts? What are some of your faves? Leave me a comment below or here https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/contact/ ⇨ RELATED PODCASTS Book review: Former First Lady Michelle Obama's Becoming by Penguin Books Ltd https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/obama/ How to start writing: The ultimate guide about planning to write life stories https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/how-to-start-writing/ How to brainstorm memories for your autobiography while dancing up a storm https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/memories-and-music/ Writing tools to help you beat bad spelling and grammar woes https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/writing-tools/ Celebrating family on the We Turned Out Okay podcast https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/we-turned-out-okay-podcast/ Podcast special: Three tips to help you transform your autobiography https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com/podcast-special/ ♡ Thanks for listening - PLEASE SUBSCRIBE if you are new and SHARE THE SHOW if you found it helpful! Happy writing! ⇨ ABOUT ME Hi and welcome! My name is Nicola and I help you learn how to write and self-publish life stories for family and friends so that unique memories live on. I've told thousands of people's stories as a daily print journalist since 2002 and would love to hear yours! ⇨ WEBSITE https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com ⇨ FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/foreveryoungautobiographies

"My biggest struggle is with my five-year-old. When she is angry she scratches, bites and sometimes hits. She also yells very loudly. I would love some advice on how to get her to stop." A listener wrote in with this question, and I knew it would probably resonate with many listeners. Like us adults, kids are experiencing lots and lots of angry feelings – more so than pre-pandemic, without the usual outlets or often even the ability to leave the house and get a change of scene. It can be difficult for adults to deal with our own rage, after years and decades of experience… It's so much harder for kids to deal with their rage. They need our help! Today I share a 3-part formula that I hope you find helpful in handling your child's angry outbursts. We've also got an impromptu Parenting News, featuring the following: The Forge article "Your Only Goal Is to Arrive," about how only one thing really matters right now in bringing our families through the pandemic. A new book – Why are You Still Sending Your Kids to School? – from friend-of-the-podcast and expert in raising self-directed learners Blake Boles. I share the Amazon link here, but Blake asks that you consider purchasing it through "local bookstores, which could certainly use the business right now." (I share about this book both in the Parenting News, and also in the main part of this episode. I think it's required reading, not just in handling your young child's rage, but also in raising resilient and happy kids. Highly recommended!) Join us! Notes, including tons of links and a cheat sheet of the 3-part formula to handle your child's angry outbursts, are at weturnedoutokay.com/331 : ) Also: I have been working hard behind the scenes, creating a 5-module course on "How to keep going" and a training on "how to handle your child's angry outbursts," not to mention spring cleaning in the Ninja Parenting Community… and in this episode I share when registration opens once more for NPC! The response from NPC members has been wonderful, and I'm excited to open up the community for those of you who want the extra support coming through the pandemic. Listen in to this episode to find out when registration opens, if you need that supportive community, and help from an expert in child development. Join the We Turned Out Okay book club! I wrote a newsletter recently on how to handle it if you're feeling anxiety in the pandemic (and after). Click the link below to read it: https://weturnedoutokay.com/it-is-normal-to-be-anxious-when-everything-is-changing/ To watch the Free Virtual Summit I created in response to the 2020 coronavirus pandemic go to: weturnedoutokay.com/OkayCon2020 We will get through this together

How, you might be wondering, are we actually really going to get through this time? You're not alone in wondering that. I have been wondering about it too. I've also been feeling terribly guilty, any time that I forget we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and find myself enjoying something, or laughing at a joke, or feeling contented. So today I want to bring you an episode that defines our most important asset, the single most important thing we need to get through this (or any) time of trouble. I hope you find it helpful! (Click here for this post in your browser.) Here are all the links I share about today: 1. Click here for the poem that brought me to tears, and also gave me permission to not feel guilty, but to embrace good feelings. 2. Click here for episode 188, my conversation with Mark McGuinness of the 21st century creative podcast. 3. Click here for the McElroy Family YouTube channel, where you'll find the wonderful series Stories From Your Gaffer, read each evening at 5:30 PM Eastern by Clint McElroy, one of my favorite podcasters ever. 4. Click here for The Adventure Zone, where I first heard Clint McElroy – but please, not with kiddos around! 5. Click here for my conversation with Audrey Monke, broadcast last Friday (in real-time) at Audrey's Sunshine Parenting Facebook page. 6. Click here for episode 273, my second We Turned Out Okay conversation with Audrey, about her wonderful book, Happy Campers. 7. Click here for my conversation as a guest on the wonderful #Am Writing Podcast; I share about my experience doing everything digital by voice, after losing the ability to use my hands to accomplish digital – and lots of analog – tasks. 8. If you are a Ninja Parenting Community member, click here for member Jen's success story, about helping her daughter overcome fears about coronavirus and house fires. She did this in such a cool way (I read out the success story today in this episode). Not a member? Click here to become one. 9. Click OkayCon.com for OkayCon 2020, the FREE Virtual Summit going on right now here at We Turned out Okay! 10. Click here to join the Facebook group – that way you can be part of the OkayCon 2020 watch parties every Monday and Wednesday evening at 8 PM Eastern! 11. I share HUGE news today, about the Happy-in-Place Challenge going on in The Ninja Parenting Community (it starts on April 16, my birthday : ) Right now you can join NPC for just $1 for your first month and each consecutive month thereafter at 50% off the standard monthly rate! You can cancel at any time, so there is no risk… Only the hope, support, and accountability that membership brings. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc for details and to sign up!

This week the Prism Parenting podcast is collaborating with the We Turned Out Okay to discuss family survival during the COVID-19 pandemic.

During our Ninja Parenting Community live members only call last week, many members expressed frustration with all the list of activities coming at us, but the lists are often in a somewhat disorganized fashion. So I wanted to give you a list, organized by how much time/input required by us parents! Read the complete list at: weturnedoutokay.com/323 Announcing OkayCon, We Turned Out Okay's FREE virtual summit! All the first week of April 2020, and into the second week of April 2020 (and possibly beyond : ) I am bringing you, completely free, presentations by people with answers you need right now: – How to keep your family and home safe and secure – How to foster the coping skills necessary to get through all this – How to stock up and what to cook right now – How to occupy the hours that you are stuck at home with your kiddo – And lots more! Go to okaycon.com for details (and also to watch starting next week!) You are not alone. If you've got questions or just feel like you cannot go on, email me and we can talk about it (I share my email address in today's episode)! Join my Weekly Parenting Newsletter group for support, good information, and ideas for staying sane right now: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly Get the extra support and encouragement you need right now by joining our private coaching community, the Ninja Parenting Community – at the Friends & Family rate, $1 for your whole first month - at weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC Also, lots of hugs coming your way for me! We will get through this together

This week, we’re joined by a special guest, Karen Lock Kolp of the podcast We Turned Out Okay. Karen is an author, child development expert, and parent coach who helps parents navigate the challenges of raising young children. She joins us to talk through a question about a teenage picky eater whose food preferences dictate the restaurant choices for a group of 7. Is that fair??You can find Karen at https://weturnedoutokay.com/.Stay in touch by sending us your questions and comments!Phone: (857) MANNERSEmail: hi@evieandsarah.comJoin our Facebook Group, Talking Modern Manners for Moms & Dads, by clicking here.Be sure to sign up for our newsletter for access to a juicy BONUS podcast where we dish on the sticky situations going on in our own lives: http://eepurl.com/gcDBg1Website: http://www.evieandsarah.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0zm0kIGoOplsQ70z-X14OA?sub_confirmation=1Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/evieandsarahInstagram: http://instagram.com/evieandsarahTwitter: http://www.twitter.com/evieandsarahMusic: Something Elated by Broke for Free: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Broke_For_Free/Something_EP/Broke_For_Free_-_Something_EP_-_05_Something_Elated See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

What do you do when: – Your six-year-old witnessed a traumatic event, and is so traumatized that he feels he can never be away from your side – Your four-year-old "really misses mommy and daddy" and cannot enjoy his enrichment class – You fear your three-year-old's "declining independence," because she increasingly needs you by her side as she is going potty, getting dressed, and going to sleep at night – Your seven-year-old is afraid to be alone in the upstairs of your house, while you are downstairs – Your 11-year-old is feeling anxious about getting separated while skiing Each of these situations come up in today's Live Case Study… Join us and find out how to handle each! PS - 50% off the annual Ninja Parenting Community rate NPC member BabyBrain worried about her daughter's fear of being alone in any room in their new house – so, she asked for help. And I created an entire course on handling your child's clingy behavior. This course is a drop in the bucket of all the resources available for you there, to help you enjoy family time more. This Leap Year, take the leap – 50% off Annual NPC membership! Jump into the Ninja Parenting Community and start enjoying family life for real! Click here for details, and to join at this amazing rate! The following links come up in today's Case Study: My conversation with Dr. Laura Markham in episode 255 of the We Turned Out Okay podcast, https://weturnedoutokay.com/255 Some fantastic downloads by Dr. Deborah MacNamara, including one about "what kids worry about at different ages" http://macnamara.ca/downloads/ The link where you can learn more about how to work closely with me, solving your biggest parenting challenges to get you feeling happy inside yourself and also enjoying family time: https://weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc Cheers! And thanks for watching/listening! Karen Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. Website: https://weturnedoutokay.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/weturnedoutokay Helping parents change kids' behavior from bad to good, feel happy inside, and TRULY enjoy family time : )

Will you be my Valentine? I have a special gift exclusively for newsletter subscribers… Click here to read my most recent newsletter (all about Valentine's Day) and to subscribe! "Schools are way, way behind the times when it comes to what kids need today," one of today's guests, educational psychologist Dr. Rob Reiher, shares during our conversation. Rob and his podcast cohost, Wayne Yercha, teamed up because they saw a disparity not just in schools, but in children's entertainment. So they created two shows! Live Above the Noise is the "for parents" show about helping kids find, and listen to, their inner voice – and speaking personally, it's a show that survived my 2019 digital reset because they give real insight into how we can best raise our little kids. Their other show, Shieldstar Knights, debuts this week! It's an action-adventure show for kids ages 8 to 12, and differs from most other kids' entertainment by solving problems in other ways besides violence. (It's definitely geared towards kids between eight and 12, it would be pretty scary for younger children! Maybe listen, before you introduce it to your kids, just to be sure : ) We dig into both, and lots more, in this episode of We Turned Out Okay. Join us! Click weturnedoutokay.com/317 for everything we talk about in today's episode : ) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. (This one is about enjoying Valentine's Day when you've got littles running around and includes the link to become a subscriber yourself.) I just wrapped up a series on "Kids gone sideways," so you can learn what to do when even the basics are a challenge! Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. And if you need some extra support for the tough parts of your parenting journey, join the private coaching community that I run! Click here to find out more, and to join.

Get Hunter's book, Raising Good Humans now! Click here to order and get book bonuses! Fellow podcaster Karen Kolp walks us through children’s developmental stages—even the stage that many of us adults are in! Trigger warning—we also discuss her experience of abuse as a child and how that shaped her path. Takeaways: Understanding developmental stages gives parents much needed perspective The stages are all relational—and our warm relationship is paramount Ways to protect your child from abuse situations Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. is a child-development expert, parent coach, author, host of the We Turned Out Okay podcast, and founder of weturnedoutokay.com. Fan of the Mindful Mama Podcast? Support it by leaving a quick review -----> Apple Podcasts or on Stitcher (or wherever you listen!) ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches smart, thoughtful parents on how to create calm and cooperation in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Be a part of the tribe! Join the Mindful Parenting membership. Download the audio training, Mindfulness For Moms (The Superpower You Need) for free! It's at mindfulmomguide.com. Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com.

We talk with the Mindful Mama Mentor, Hunter Clarke-Fields, in this episode of We Turned Out Okay! Hunter is a parent coach who found real solutions to her own anger and frustration with meditation and mindfulness. She is a force for good, and I am so excited to bring her on the show! The title of this episode was very nearly "Mindfulness: A Cool Parental Brain Hack," which is how today's guest characterizes this state of mind in the latter part of our conversation. I love this idea, that mindfulness can help us wrap our brain better around child-rearing and everything that comes with it. I hope you get tons out of this conversation with Hunter Clarke-Fields, of the Mindful Mama Podcast. I know I did! Plus in Parenting News: I plan to be at an event that might interest you, if you can be at the Newton Community Farm in Newton Massachusetts on Saturday, November 9: A movie screening, and author signing! Ken Danford, author of Learning is Natural, School is Optional, a book I am currently reading and loving, will be on hand to sign copies! And us attendees also get to see a movie about self-directed learning and how cool it is. Hope to see you there! (Click here to sign up for the event : ) And we talk about social-emotional learning in schools, and how it's positively impacting not just the kids, but their families, teachers, administrators, and guidance counselors. Join us! Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. Past editions have included remaining calm even if your kids are throwing dirt at each other, and helping when your child is frightened. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Here is the link to this episode: weturnedoutokay.com/303 Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

We're celebrating today, 300 episodes of We Turned Out Okay! I am super excited to welcome back beloved guests Tricia Tomaso, preschool teacher extraordinaire, and Janine Halloran, coping skills expert, for a roundtable discussion talking about social and emotional learning, and if schools actually do screw up kids… And we're also answering your questions in this tri-centennial episode! Join us! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/300 for the bazillion links we discuss today… And FYI Parenting News, and Magic Words for Parents, will be back next week. Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you remain sane while raising your kiddos! Past editions have included: – How to get your child to take more responsibility – How to teach your child social skills – Under what circumstances, if any, you should let your child watch YouTube. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Reminder: join my Ninja Parenting Community for $1 for your first 30 days! But only by joining before October 1! “Thank you for all of your help! You have truly changed our lives and helped navigate some massive life changes and I am so grateful!” – Mama Llama, Mom of a three-year-old boy and NPC member "Karen helps me feel like I actually know what I am doing.” – Steve, Dad of 3-and-5-year-old boys, 1-to-1 Parent Coaching Client Click here for details – or check out the fancy-pants button I made by going to this episode's show notes : ) In this bonus We Turned Out Okay episode I offer 3 tools to help you cope with your child's aggressive, bad behavior: The first helps you put your child's behavior in perspective so it does not overwhelm you The second helps you create the best conditions for positive behavior from your child The third helps you feel good about your parenting journey I hope you find it helpful! Click here for the show notes for this episode, which include the video version of today's episode, a full transcript, and the aforementioned fancy-pants button so that you can join the Ninja Parenting Community at the Friends and Family membership rate!

Writing through chronic illness and other challenges, with Karen Lock KolpThis writing thing often feels hard. A common text among the three of us (Jess, Sarina and KJ) goes like this: OW OW OW OWOWOWOW. Our brains hurt. But for this week’s guest, Karen Lock Kolp, it’s more than that. Because of a rare tendon condition, Karen does all her writing and online work—and we do mean all—using her voice. That means that when it comes to both dictation and writing through big challenges, she’s a pro, and her advice in this episode was solid gold on both counts.Episode links and a transcript follow—but first, a preview of the #WritersTopFive that will be dropping into #AmWriting supporter inboxes on Monday, September 2, 2019: Top 5 Things to Remember When Writing is REALLY Hard. Not joined that club yet? You’ll want to get on that. Support the podcast you love AND get weekly #WriterTopFives with actionable advice you can use for just $7 a month. As always, this episode (and every episode) will appear for all subscribers in your usual podcast listening places, totally free as the #AmWriting Podcast has always been. This shownotes email is free, too, so please—forward it to a friend, and if you haven’t already, join our email list and be on top of it with the shownotes and a transcript every time there’s a new episode. To support the podcast and help it stay free, subscribe to our weekly #WritersTopFive email.LINKS FROM THE PODCASTThe Solopreneur Hour with Michael O'Neal Joanna Penn's The Creative PennKaren's Dictation Software Choices: Dragon Dictation, Chrome Browser, Dragon's Transcription Button.MouseGrid video on YouTube: How to Use the Dragon MouseGrid (as it turns out, it’s focused on navigating in Facebook with Dragon, but still a great video)It's a Long Way to the Top, AC/DC#AmReading (Watching, Listening)Karen: Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, Caroline Criado PerezThe Purloined Paperweight, P.G. Wodehouse Grown-Up Anger: The Connected Mysteries of Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie, and the Calumet Massacre of 1913, Daniel WolffKJ: The Bookish Life of Nina Hill, Abbi WaxmanJess: God Land: A Story of Faith, Loss, and Renewal in Middle America, Lyz Lenz (Hear Lyz on the podcast here.) #FaveIndieBookstoreJeff Kinney's An UnLikely Story in Plainville, MAKaren Lock Kolp is the author of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life with Your Young Child and 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know: How to Stop the Chaos, Bring Out Your Child’s Good Behavior, and Truly Enjoy Family Time (Your Child Explained). Find out more at Karen's website: We Turned Out Okay. Listen to her podcast here. Her popular episode Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics is here. This episode was sponsored by Author Accelerator, the book coaching program that helps you get your work DONE. Visit https://www.authoraccelerator.com/amwritingfor details, special offers and Jennie Nash’s Inside-Outline template.Find more about Jess here, and about KJ here.If you enjoyed this episode, we suggest you check out Marginally, a podcast about writing, work and friendship.Transcript (We use an AI service for transcription, and while we do clean it up a bit, some errors are the price of admission here. We hope it’s still helpful.)KJ:                                00:01                Howdy writers and listeners. August is basically over. September is here and this is the very last time I can invite you to join us in Bar Harbor, Maine for the Find Your Book, Find Your Mojo retreat from September 12th through 15th of 2019. It's a fantastic chance to get some one on one time for your project with me or Author Accelerator founder Jenny Nash, and then dig in with all your might in a gorgeous setting surrounded by your fellow #AmWriting word nerds, including Serena Bowen, who's going to talk about indie versus traditional publishing. There will be bonding, there will be writing, and knitting and artistic renderings of words of the year and all kinds of festivities and I for one can't wait. Find all the details@authoraccelerator.com/am writing.KJ:                                00:55                Go ahead. This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone and try to remember what I was supposed to be doing.Jess:                             00:59                All right, let's start over.KJ:                                01:01                Awkward pause. I'm going to rustle some papers.Jess:                             01:04                Okay.KJ:                                01:04                Now one, two, three. Hey, I'm KJ Dell'Antonia.Jess:                             01:13                And I'm Jess Lahey.KJ:                                01:15                And this is #AmWriting with Jess and KJ. #AmWriting is our weekly podcast about all things writing, be they fiction, nonfiction, some bizarre intertwined creation, short stories, proposals, essays, long pieces, short pieces. And most of all, the one thing we always are is the podcast about getting the work done.Jess:                             01:46                And I'm Jess Lahey. I'm the author of the Gift of Failure and a forthcoming book about preventing substance abuse in kids. And you can find my work at the New York Times and the Washington Post and recently at Air Mail, which is a new venture by Graydon Carter of Vanity Fair. And that was kind of fun to write for someone new.KJ:                                02:06                I am KJ Dell'Antonia. I'm the author of How To Be a Happier Parent and the former lead editor and writer of the Motherlode blog at the New York Times where I am still a contributor. I'm having a freelancing break while I work on what will be my second novel and my first novel, The Chicken Sisters will be out next year.Jess:                             02:24                So exciting.KJ:                                02:26                That's who we are. That's why you should listen to us. Today, we have a guest that I think you are also going to want to listen to. I want to welcome Karen Lock Kolp. She is a child development expert and a parenting coach with a podcast, a thriving online community, and she is the independently published author of 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know. But we are not going to talk about anything parenty because what we are gonna talk about is getting all that work done because Karen is also a woman who lives with chronic illness. She has a tendon disorder that she'll describe to you later, but it has made her an expert in the use of her voice, both as a podcaster and in dictating her writing, which I know you're all going to want to hear about. And it's also made her an expert at keeping her butt in the chair sometimes whether she wants to or not, and getting her work done anyway, even when it's really, really hard. And that's why you're here. So thank you so much for joining us.Karen:                          03:28                Oh, thank you. It's really wonderful to be here. This is very exciting for me. Your podcast is one of my favorites. It is one of the few that survived my recent digital reset. Yours was one of the few that I brought back in because it's incredibly valuable.Jess:                             03:51                Oh, that's so nice. We survived a purge. That's so exciting.KJ:                                03:56                I purged lately too, although I partly purged just because I get so frustrated with the iTunes podcast app and switched and then once I switched I realized I hadn't brought everything with me and some of it I didn't miss.Jess:                             04:08                I had that moment where iTunes said, you seem to have not downloaded this in awhile. Do you still want to listen? And I thought about it and I said, well, no, actually I'm done.Karen:                          04:20                That's really cool. I did that.KJ:                                04:22                So Karen, so what I really want to talk about today is the specifics of writing with chronic illness, but also more on a general note, just the challenges of writing when it's hard. I think that we all have times when we feel like this is impossible and you have written through moments that I think most of us would define as actually impossible. So, start by telling us where you stand and how this started for you.Karen:                          04:56                Wow. It's, it's quite a story. So, actually first of all, I think I just want to say that I was well into writing my second book before I would dare to call myself a writer. So there's that as well. I was like, I'm a podcaster, I'm not a writer. You know what I mean?KJ:                                05:14                Yeah, no, we all have that. Yeah. I mean it's always, well, I wrote for the New York Times, but only online, you know Nobody, none of us thinks we're a real writer yet. Yeah, except maybe Salmon Rushdie, he thinks he's a real writer.Karen:                          05:34                Thinks he's a writer. Yeah, exactly. A real writer. I was midway through the second book and I was like, I said to somebody, Oh, I'm a writer. And I was like, wait a minute, I actually am a writer. I'm like, that's pretty cool. For me, it all started eight years ago, more than eight years ago now, I contracted a tendon disorder. And the way that I did it was I got a gastric disease called diverticulitis, which I would not wish on my worst enemy. And I took some (this is the nearest that my doctors and I can figure out) I took a really strong course of antibiotics to get rid of it. And they had a thing in them called fluoroquinolones. And since that started, since I went down this rabbit hole, it's been discovered that fluoroquinolones cause tendon problems largely in kids, but caused these problems anyway. And the rheumatologist told me, probably four or five years in that like I'm one of the lucky few who it stuck around for it. There's like a third of people who get this that they get it and get better right away. And then there's a third who sort of get it and it sticks around for a couple of years. And then I'm one of the ones who's, you know, it's gone on for a really long time.KJ:                                06:42                That's just annoying.Karen:                          06:45                I mean, isn't it?KJ:                                06:48                The truth is that in a single hand card game, odds don't matter and it’s either going to stay or it's not and if it stays those odds just make you mad.Karen:                          06:57                Yeah. And I, I, it took me a long time to get here, but I, I would say that what I've done is I've kind of gone through a real metamorphosis, you know, before I was a caterpillar and then this was my chrysalis and now I'm a butterfly. Like I truly understand the meaning of differently abled in a way I never, ever did before. For the first couple of years, the focus was really on my legs. I lost almost complete use of one leg in particular (my right leg) because of some of the tendons in it. And then there was a sort of very long rehab. But while I was going through that, I needed a wheelchair. Whenever I left the house it was a mess. And when that got better, then my thumb tendon started to go. And I'm still basically really still recovering from that. The legs are much better than the upper body. So all my writing is done online, and I do it with a speech recognition software. But, I want to even go further back than that, if it's okay.KJ:                                08:04                Yeah.Karen:                          08:05                Because I, the whole reason that I started to do anything is because I wanted, it sounds, it may sound silly, but I wanted to give a TED talk. I was, I remember watching TED talks and loving them and laughing at them. Like I couldn't move, I was stranded in a chair. And I remember thinking, you know what I could do, I could do a TED talk in a wheelchair. I want to do a TED talk. And so what, I, I haven't done one yet, I'm still hoping to, but this whole thing started because I was like, well, I want to do that. So my husband especially helped me try to figure out like, how could you do that, because at the same time as I wanted that I was also feeling incredibly useless and a total burden at home. We had two young kids and I couldn't be the house wife, and I couldn't be the cook. And I couldn't be the laundry and I couldn't be the chauffeur. So I really was feeling very down, like not quite suicidal, but if you got hit by a bus it wouldn't be a problem kind of thing. I had to learn first that there is value in me even if I can't use my hands or my legs. Once I learned that, my family was like, we need you, we need you to be the brains, which is how we define it around here. Then I could sort of look outwards from that. And that was when I really decided, I think I want to do a TED talk. And that has led to so much cool stuff. And even if it's not ever a TED talk, I'm so happy.KJ:                                09:33                Well, I mean, you know, it's kind of cool that it started from that, right? And, and it remains as a goal, but now you have, you know, you have so many other goals that you have achieved in the meantime.Karen:                          09:54                That's a very good thing to know. I mean, I, it's nice to have that validation, you know.KJ:                                10:01                Yeah.Karen:                          10:02                Thank you.KJ:                                10:02                I almost don't even know where to go from that, but so you've picked a topic and you took it from there. It's sort of hard to list all the things that you have, but you have this thriving online community, you have a coaching business, you have a lot going on now. What came first?Karen:                          10:28                So first came the podcast and that came about in a really interesting way too, because my husband wanted me to have an iPhone. So part of my problem, part of the hands per happened because I was doing too much texting on a phone that had those nine buttons, you know what I mean, where you'd have to like cycle through the number one to get to a and all those sorts of things. And that really blew up with the thumb tendons and my husband's like, okay, we're gonna get you an iPhone because it's playschool. You won't ever have to worry about like anything. You know, there's no, you don't have to choose between apps. Like it's just, it's there for you, there's no worries with an iPhone, which my family has since they've gotten Androids and there are times where they want to throw them out the window, you know what I mean? But I still have an iPhone because I need it. And that was when I really first discovered podcasts and one of my favorite podcasts was done by an entrepreneur who teaches other people how to start an online business. And I really wanted to start an online business.KJ:                                11:34                You need to name the podcast, by the way.Karen:                          11:37                Oh, that podcast is called The Solopreneur Hour podcast with Michael O'Neal. So I got into his podcast and I started trying to do something. I made a horrible, horrible website with my husband's help that I'm so glad it's gone, basically. Because I just needed to start and I knew I wanted to do something for parents of young children. I have a master's degree in early childhood education, I've got a bachelor's in human development and family relations, I've got nine years as a preschool teacher in an industry standard, state of the art, absolutely wonderful town-run preschool program. The town I grew up in actually. And I wanted to help parents cause I couldn't be in the classroom anymore, so maybe I could, you know, I could at least help them that way. So, I'm developing this pretty awful website and I'm doing it listening to Michael O'Neal's show. And I wrote to him at one point to basically say thank you because what he was doing was making me feel like I could do this, like this was attainable by me. And I explained my tendon condition and he read my letter on the air and he gifted me three months in his coaching program. I just want to take a moment to send up a silent thank you to him because I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't had him. But I mean, what, he's just a wonderful guy.KJ:                                13:08                Say a thank you to you because if you didn't reach out, do you know exactly when he would've come and knocked on your door if you hadn't written that letter? Never.Karen:                          13:17                Exactly.KJ:                                13:19                Yeah. You know, we often are like, yeah, I was really lucky because, but you made your luck.Karen:                          13:24                Yeah, that's very true. And I remember the feeling of like, this is really happening. Like, Oh my gosh. And his real jam, the thing he's really good at helping people figure out is what's your brand. And so we went through, as I said, he took one look at my goofy website that I had been working on and he was like, Oh, you know, this isn't going to fly. Yes, not this. Exactly. And then we spent, I would say probably a good part of those first three months coming up with the concept and the brand. And I, I will never forget the day after trying three or four, you know, names, when I said to him, you know, what I've been really thinking about and pushing around is the idea of a podcast called we turned out okay. And he was like, that's it. He goes, that's it. And then he goes, you know what your tagline is? It's the modern parent's guide to old school parenting. I was like, yes. And it was just so much fun. So the whole process was fun and like he made it fun and he made me feel like I could do this, you know? Whereas at home I was sort of getting a little bit of like, are you sure? Do you really want to take this on? This is a lot for somebody with, you know, with the conditions and the problems that you've got. And it was so motivating and such fun to be in that program, so I'm grateful to him. Very grateful.KJ:                                14:43                Well, and it's cool that it came about that he offered that to you, but this is also sort of a moment to recognize that getting some coaching can be super helpful. I think a lot of us are really reluctant to spend money on our dreams and, and also we have this feeling that if we were really capable, if we could really do it, we could do it on our own.Karen:                          15:08                Exactly.KJ:                                15:10                If I were a real writer, I wouldn't need an editor's help. If I were a real entrepreneur, I wouldn't need a coach to guide me through finding my brand. And that is, that's just, that's just not true. We all need to learn where we're going and getting in with an expert can can cut your time in half, it can inspire you, it can help you see exactly what you saw, which was that it might not look to people on the outside like you were ready to do this, but you wanted to prioritize it. I think that's cool, too.Karen:                          15:45                Yeah. So that's how I got started. That's a really long story for how I got started.KJ:                                15:51                Okay. We accept long stories. So at this point, you're podcasting and then you must at some point have sort of decided, well, I need some blog, I need some writing to go with this podcast. Let us know how you figured out how to do that, especially given that you were gonna need to dictate.Karen:                          16:15                So I think one of the, one of the things that a lot of people overlook I guess or don't want to hear maybe, is that you've got to start it before you know what it is. You have to start it before it's fully formed. And I started the podcast in 2014 or 2015, it's just over four years old. So 290 episodes in, in four years and counting. I got to maybe like 56 or 57 and I did an episode called Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics and people went nuts for it. Like I started to get emails from people and that got downloaded more than any other episode I'd ever done. People really responded to the idea that, wait a minute, there are these little Ninja tactics I can do to make my home life better? It's super easy, but things that I know as an early childhood professional that maybe, a parent who's not, wouldn't know, you know what I mean? So things like, how to make no sound like yes was one of those first Ninja Tactics. What I did from that was I decided to write a book called Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics. And I wanted to be able to talk about it in written form as well. You know, there's this idea you should have an email list. I've been taking a lot of time to try and figure out what my email list is going to be and I've gotten to 2019 and I figured it out and I love it. And people again are really responding to it. It's a weekly newsletter now, where I always get to vary it. But, I started it as, Hey, if you want to get notified when Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics is available, then I'll put you on this email list and you can find out and that really grew from there. For me it's been a lot of experimentation and exploring my burnout rate. So I used to do a six episodes in a month. And I realized that after the second year that that was not working for me. It was too much. I couldn't concentrate on my coaching clients if I was spending that much time on the podcast. Instead, I started doing these biweekly live members only calls for the people in my community. And, and if I did that twice a month instead of this extra podcast, I suddenly, I wasn't burned out anymore. I was focusing my energies in the right place because the people in the community could then say to me, here's my question about this. And I could go, Oh my God, people who listen to the podcast need to hear about that too. So I'm serving my clients first and then being able to bring these cool things to the listeners.KJ:                                19:08                Right.Karen:                          19:09                So, then I started listening to Joanna Penn, the Creative Penn podcast. And I started to sort of reframe myself as not just as a podcaster, but as an author as well. And what she does is so cool because she's all about like write books that are really professional and well written and fantastic at giving good advice and keep writing them. And I was like, you know what, that's something I could do. And so I've been working on that.KJ:                                19:43                So wait, wait. You're saying that's something I could do, but you don't type.Karen:                          19:50                No, I don't type, exactly.KJ:                                19:53                First of all, we want to know how you actually do it, but how did you get over that mental block of, you know, I'm going to write, but not with a pen, not with a keyboard, and not with a pencil.Jess:                             20:07                I'm especially waiting to hear about that because I have tried.KJ:                                20:11                We want the mental block first, then we want the tools.Jess:                             20:15                I just can't. I've tried so hard, so I'm dying to hear how you do all the dictation.Karen:                          20:20                Can I just say that it was not without many temper tantrums? I mean, I think this is necessity as the mother of invention. There was no way for me to do this without the speech recognition software. So I had to form a truce with the speech recognition software. So for me over these years now I've spent, I don't know if I've gotten my 10,000 hours in or not yet, but I would say probably. But the way that I got there was by doing it. So, I work much better if I can read something that is printed. So, my husband printed out the entire user manual for speech recognition software. So I was learning the commands - because there are these interesting commands that you can use. So you can tell it to click here, you can tell it to click save, you can bring up a mouse grid. I think if you guys are looking for the tool that has been a lifesaver for me. It's this idea of a mouse grid. So I want you to envision your computer screen and you say the words mouse grid. And what happens is a grid of nine blocks comes up on your screen. Say I want to click something in the lower left corner, that that happens to be the number seven. So I would say seven. And then the mouse grid would reappear, but the whole mouse grid is now where the number seven used to be. And so it's a little more focused now in that corner.KJ:                                21:57                And where do you get something like that?Karen:                          22:00                Where do you get the mouse grid?KJ:                                22:02                Yeah.Karen:                          22:02                Well, I use Dragon Speech Recognition software, so it's a component of that. But I'll tell you, I learned how to use that properly by watching the most beautiful and just heartbreaking video on YouTube. I mean you think you've got problems, right? And then you Google how to use the Dragon mouse grid and the person describing it to you is a person who not only has lost the use of his arms and legs, but also has speech difficulties and they are describing to you how to use this mouse grid and then they are using the mouse grid. By the time he gets to the small enough place in the grid in this video, I am crying. I mean my thought was if somebody like that can not only do that, but teach me how to do it, there is nothing that will stop me. Like what a good, incredibly good example of someone who's making it work no matter what, you know?KJ:                                22:56                Wow. All right, we're going to find that. We're going to link it.Karen:                          22:58                So, the mouse grid is a huge tool. I've discovered that Dragon plays very well with Chrome and not very well with Firefox, for example. So there have been times where I have felt like I was drowning and that I just couldn't get a breath. I wish I had a better description. Like, I will sit down and I'll be like, alright, I'm going to write a blog post and I use the speech recognition software to open Google Chrome and then I use it to navigate. to the inside of my website, not the outside pages everybody sees, but the sort of private admin pages and I get to the correct post.KJ:                                23:56                And you're doing all that using the Dragon Dictate?Karen:                          23:59                I am, yeah.KJ:                                24:00                So we think of Dragon Dictate as something that lets you dictate a story, but you can sort of basically set it up to run your whole...Karen:                          24:09                You can, yeah. You can use their voice commands for all of this. But what I've learned to be more patient with what used to kill me so bad was I would get three quarters of the way through that process and then I would open the dictation box, but sometimes Dragon can't see and doesn't know what you're trying to do. I don't know how else to describe it - it won't write anything. You'll say something and it will say, we can't recognize that speech or something and you're just like ugh. So I would get all the way to that point and then the app would crash or something like that. Talk about temper tantrums! But I just kept playing the song It's a Long Way to the Top by AC DC. I kept thinking to myself, there's no other way. Like it's either this or you go throw yourself in front of a train, like what's it gonna be here honey? And, I knew I wasn't going to do that, so I was gonna have to keep doing this basically. Does that make sense?KJ:                                25:15                Oh yeah, no, it totally, it totally makes sense. So now you're writing a book via Dragon Dictation and all of the challenges that that entails and then you're editing it the same way.Karen:                          25:33                I am. And, and I have learned - this was such a breakthrough for me. So, say if I'm going to write the title of a chapter and have Dragon sort of recognize it, I can now make a recording for my podcast, get my microphone out and my headphones and stuff like that. And I can say the following. So, here's the title of my book that dragon will recognize. OK. are you ready?KJ:                                26:04                Yeah.Karen:                          26:05                Cap educating cap. Happy cap kids, colon numeral nine cap ways to cap help cap your cap, child cap, learn cap to cap and joy cap learning, something like that. I can't remember it exactly, but I'm, that's the book I'm working on right now.KJ:                                26:19                So, you're fluent in, you're fluent in punctuation.Jess:                             26:24                There really is a whole other language.Karen:                          26:26                It's a whole other language. But what's neat is you can get into the flow of it in a recording sense. So like I can record 15 minutes of language that sounds like that. And, and I can, there's a transcribe button in Dragon and it will take that and put it on paper but legibly so that it can be read. It just says educating happy kids. Nine ways to help your child learn what they need to know. And it's like such a mirror every time this, every time I see this appearing, I'm just like, yay!KJ:                                26:59                I need to quickly hop in and apologize for only naming your most recent book cause I knew that you had more. But in the intro I, for whatever reason just threw out the first one. We will be listing them all.Karen:                          27:10                Oh, thank you. No worries. I mean, I appreciated that you listed any of them. I mean this is the one that I'm currently working on, so this is the one that my brain is like really thinking about. So I just today, today I sent it off to my editor for final revisions, so yay.Jess:                             27:31                It was funny when you said the thing about how if you want to do this thing badly enough, you can figure it out. But when we were interviewing Shane recently about the fact that he uses his two thumbs to type entire books on his iPhone and Oh my gosh, you know, KJ and I used to have a segment in the show called Ow It Hurts, but it was always like it hurts. Like, Oh, I don't really want to write this, but not like I have to write an entire book with my two thumbs. If Shane Burcaw can write three books with his thumbs, I think I can figure out the intricacies of how to use dictation software.Karen:                          28:17                If you want to, if it's a real goal of yours. I think a lot of times that I would not be a podcaster or an author without the tendon disorder. Like I was, I was too invested in my own life. I guess. I remember sort of having this yearning, like I remember being 38 about a decade ago and just saying to my husband, like, you know what, isn't there anything else? I mean, I love you and I love the kids, but isn't there anything else? I think had I not gotten the tendon disorder and, and had all of that other stuff kind of stripped away from me, I'm not sure that I would've had the guts even to try something different. Even now I will walk into a Christmas tree shops and I get tired, so I often need to find a seat so you'll find me sitting on the bird seed. This happened just recently. I was in line of Joann Fabrics and the line was so long that I literally sat down on the floor and crossed my legs and apologized to everybody around me and said, this is just what I have to do. I mean, once you've been through things like that, those are really socially embarrassing situations and it's like, well, I can do anything if I can do this.Jess:                             29:36                I just am fascinated. I've never, I'm fascinated. My brain is stuck on the line that I wouldn't be a writer without my tendon disorder. I think, you know, the thing, the very thing that makes that more difficult for you is the thing that made it happen. And I find that really wonderful and fascinating and complicated.Karen:                          29:54                Yeah. Thank you for recognizing it. When I think metamorphosis, that's really what I think of. And I came to our conversation today with a couple of points that I wanted to make sure to cover. If anyone is trying to work in difficult circumstances that, that I thought they might want to know, this is what's worked for me and the first one is to just own it, to say to yourself, this is what I want to do. Like it can be so easy for us to get caught up in I've got to get dinner on the table and I've got all these duties that we have in our day and there can be some guilt around backing away from work or family and saying, I'm taking this time to do this thing that I really want to do. And for me that had to come first.KJ:                                30:44                Yeah. I mean, if, if you are in a situation where you have limited resources, be there physical or mental to put them into this thing that at that moment is only for you is really hard. You know, it's very easy to say to yourself, well, you know, if I'm going to have like an hour of, of like sort of on time today because I'm suffering from exhaustion or because I get physically tired, I should put that into my kids' school meeting or dinner or you know, something. So I think that's really important.Karen:                          31:21                Yeah. That's what's worked for me. I remember lying in bed one morning just before I wrote to Michael O'Neal, just before I started to like come up with this website. And I remember lying in bed one day and every day I had been thinking, you got to get busy living or get busy dying, which is from a movie, it might be from the Shawshank Redemption. I literally would lie in bed going, are you going to get up now cause you got to get busy living or get busy dying. And on this particular day I sat up in bed and I said out loud, I am doing this and I'm not even sure that I knew what this was yet. But like it was this idea of I am breaking free of the sort of constraints. Whether they are because I feel guilty that I can't do very much or because like my time really ought to be spent on this other thing. And I was basically like, I got no hands. So like I'm going to do this, whatever it is.KJ:                                32:21                I was just going to say, okay fine. If you can get your mental head around it. And it also sounded like you had had partner support, which is great, but sometimes we have to go on without it.Karen:                          32:34                Yup. Yup. Yup. It was huge. So Ben used to say to me, he's actually the producer of my show. And what's funny is he has a day job, he goes off to work every day and that doesn't have anything to do with audio. But he went to school for sound engineering and his friends from college are people who work on the Today Show or who have won Grammy's and stuff like that. And he basically decided that his life was going to take a different path, but we used to joke, we'd pass a radio station in the car and I'd be like, Hey, let's move here and I'll be the talent and you can be the producer. And like that's kind of what's happened, which is so interesting. So he gets to feed his audio soul a little bit. He gets to geek out over, you know, making the show sound great and like all the cool, you know, little audio things that he couldn't do before. So support is really important. But I will say this, too. Ben is the one who, he was like, he used to say like, we need to get you with your friends because you're so much happier when you're like with people. He would say, I've seen you come alive today. We went to a party or something and cause it's just so hard to be sitting alone and you know, only feeling like you can't do stuff. So, when I said to him, I think I'd like to try starting a a business, he was like, yes, please. I'm glad because you need something to do with your mind. So he was always very, very supportive from the beginning. I didn't think to put that on the list, but I think that's probably pretty important.KJ:                                34:05                Well, it's, it's hard to be the partner because you can think to yourself, you know, if I were in that position, I would do such and such. Well, and first of all, you don't know what you would do, but secondly, you can't actually do it. So, you know, you can look at your partner and see, well I, she really needs to get out there and, and do stuff with her friends. But it's not like he can pack you into the car.Karen:                          34:25                Yeah, exactly.KJ:                                34:28                To be them too. All right, well what comes next?Karen:                          34:29                Alright. So next for me was the idea of just starting small, like small habits have won the day for me. When I first started, and even sometimes now, I have a version of your open the document, you know what I mean? And I always felt like, so if you've got 5% use of your hands, what can you dedicate that 5% to? And sometimes it was twirling spaghetti and that was all I had, you know. But if I've got 15 minutes, if I can take the next 15 minutes and dedicated to writing something like, and then I don't do anything else for the rest of the day, that's fine. I put one foot in front of the other today. I took one step. So really small habits that you do repeatedly. The next thing I think, cause you can say to yourself like, it's too big. I can't, I just can't. But, but if you try to break it down to like the smallest step, the step, the step that you feel like, okay, I can do that, I will do that. And then you're done for the day and you come back to it the next day. So small habits are fun and good. The next one that comes up for me is celebrate the wins. Even the tiny ones like - so actually, I've been writing a fictional book one minute at a time, which I know sounds crazy, but it worked for Neil Gaiman so I feel like it's gonna work for me.KJ:                                35:57                It's really the only way to do it. It's just a question of whether they're consecutive minutes or not.Karen:                          36:02                Yes, exactly. I just don't have the time to commit to even 15 minutes a day of fiction writing, but I can open a notebook and it's actually, it's hand strengthening practice too is how I look at it. I can open a notebook and I can write a sentence. And what I've been taken to is I'll write a full sentence and then I'll make the next sentence be like the beginning of the next sentence. So the next day when I come back, I've got a writing prompt basically. And I have found that it's enough to keep this story alive for me. Like, so I had the idea for the novel and I did a lot of work around who's who, what's the main character dealing with? I have a dear friend who lives in Maine and the property next to her dream property has been taken over by a jerky landlord who insists on bringing like people from away who shoot off guns and bring bands in and they're raising a family. And so I'm writing this to give her some hope, basically. I've been having a ball with it, one minute at a time. So that's one of my one minute, like that's one of my tiny habits. I can't do more than that. So that's what I do. And when I do it, I celebrate that win, like I did this today. Yes.KJ:                                37:20                Yes. All right. Keep going. Do you have time to?Karen:                          37:25                I got two more, two more. I think my most important resource is energy. When my energy level is gone, it is gone and I have to go to sleep for eight hours to get it back. So, I tend to work in projects and the way I think of it is like I'll do so quarterly, I'll look at this each quarter anew and my project for the first month of the quarter is recording the podcast episodes and getting those show notes done so that for the whole quarter. So now I've got two other months that I can keep writing or I can do other cool stuff. This August we're gonna have a staycation. So I get to do that because I planned in July for August. So I'll get that project completed and then work on the next project. So, for this quarter it's been educating happy kids has been really my next project. That and rest.KJ:                                38:24                That's your next book, right?Karen:                          38:25                Yup. That's my next book. I have found that is a really great way to manage my energy level because I can see progress as I'm working through a bigger project. For me that really, really works. It may not work for everyone. Some people might like to sort of get a little bit of something done every day repeatedly, but I like to be able to say, okay, that project is finished and now I can move on to the next one. So I've been doing that. And then the last one, and this is probably the most important one, is the idea of trying again tomorrow. So like if today is a blowout, if you cannot do it, if, if everything has gone wrong today, you still have the choice to get up and try again tomorrow.KJ:                                39:11                Cool. Yeah, no, that's, that's great. I love it.Jess:                             39:14                We've also observed in the past, this happens to me with writing and it happens to me with teaching that some of my very worst teaching and writing days have been followed by some of my best. So that's a good reminder for me that no matter how crappy things go on one day it can turn around completely the next.Karen:                          39:33                Yup. Yup. And as I think as a part of all of this, there's this idea of support.Speaker 3:                    39:39                Like we talked about that a little bit with my husband, right? But you guys are such a support for me. The #AmWriting Facebook group is one of the only places I go on Facebook. I go there and I go into the group of We Turned Out Okay listeners that I have developed over there,KJ:                                39:55                It is the only place I go.Jess:                             39:57                It's literally true. KJ and I, what we did was we made it so that the group is our bookmark for Facebook. So if you're going to go on Facebook, you have to go there.Karen:                          40:07                No way.Jess:                             40:08                Yeah.KJ:                                40:09                You can, that you could have two bookmarks, one for our group and one for your group and then you never have to risk being caught up in something

Whether public school, charter school, private school, or homeschool, this time of year brings massive changes to lots of families' lives. It's exciting, but it can also be stressful. Today I want to help you stay more on the positive side of the exciting/stressful balance! How are you feeling about the start of the new school year? Today we discuss 4 ways to start the year off right. Important Program Notes: – In this episode you'll hear me talk about a Streamline Your Mornings workshop, that was to take place in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group… Instead of that I have created an in-depth, 4-part series, each exploring one way to start the year off right! Included in the fourth part, called "A free tool you can use to streamline your family's weekly schedule," you'll find the updated We Turned Out Okay Weekly Planner. (You'll hear me talk about the Facebook group at the end of this episode, as the place where you can find that tool. Instead, to make your life super easy, click here so you can read the newsletter, and download that free PDF.) – Also! Educating Happy Kids: 9 Ways to Help Your Young Children Learn What They Need to Know is out in the world! If you are a Ninja Parent: click here for the forum post where you can download your FREE PDF copy of my latest parenting book! If you are not a member of the ninja parenting community, go to weturnedoutokay.com/books for your ecopy! I'm so excited that it's done and you can read it! – There's a moment in this episode where I credit author and researcher Gretchen Rubin with something author and researcher Laura Vanderkam did (I rectify this in the break, but did want to tell you about it here as well). Sorry for the confusion! Click here for Gretchen Rubin's amazing book The Four Tendencies; and click here for Lara Vanderkam's website. Plus in Parenting News: A podcast by one of We Turned Out Okay's beloved guests! I share about the Calm and Connected podcast by coping skills expert and LMHC Janine Halloran, and talk about how it will help you get this school year off to a great start. Join us! Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you remain sane while raising your kiddos! Past editions have included: – These 4 ways to start the school year off right, expanded – How to teach your child social skills – Under what circumstances, if any, you should let your child watch YouTube. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/293 for a cheat sheet on the 4 ways to start the school year off right, key links from this episode, free guides (on potty training, picky eating, and how to handle every temper tantrum), and lots more resources! Also: Click here to join the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, where every Monday I offer Magic Words for Parents, a quick word or phrase for you to take into your parenting week! Click here to learn more about working closely with me, either as a private coaching client or as a member of the Ninja Parenting Community And thank you so much for listening!

Today's guest, Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, experienced a truly traumatic event in her childhood, an earthquake in which she lost her mother. In part because of this experience, she went on to become a therapist, a woman who has dedicated her life to helping others through their toughest moments. "My true passion is to help children to thrive," she writes. Today we discuss many ways to help your child to do exactly that. I know you will get a lot out of this conversation. Many thanks to Anna Seewald for coming on We Turned Out Okay! Plus in Parenting News: Back in July I got to be a guest on Anna's show! Extending on this theme about how childhood experiences shape us, I share that I was sexually assaulted at age 7. This experience fundamentally changed my personality, and has had repercussions through all of my life. But here's the thing, while I would of course never wish something like this on anyone, not all the repercussions have been bad. Click authenticparenting.com/185 to listen to our conversation. Though certainly tough in parts, overall it's a hopeful, and I really hope helpful (hence the sharing as Parenting News) conversation. Join us! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/291 for key links from this episode, free guides (on potty training, picky eating, and how to handle every temper tantrum), and lots more resources! Also: Sign up for the resource where I share great ninja tactics, a positive mindset, and some good stories to boot: Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter. Click here to learn more about working closely with me, either as a private coaching client or as a member of the Ninja Parenting Community And thank you so much for listening! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings! Click copingskillsforkids.com/coping-cue-cards to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

We have all been hit hard by the news recently. And if we, as adults, are feeling the strain and stress, it's a safe bet that our children feel it too. How can you help? In this bonus episode I offer five ways. Helpful links: Click here for episode 261 of We Turned Out Okay, my conversation with Maureen Healy (whose Bubble Breathing exercise I suggest in this episode.) Click here for the link to the Eckerd College article about Marjorie Sanfilippo, whose study about kids and guns I talk about in this episode. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up for my parenting newsletter, which right now (in real-time) is an in-depth, 4-part series on how to handle overwhelmed at the start of the school year. Click here to read this post in your browser.

(Possibly due to Mommy Brain, I don't mention the survey link in today's episode until I've practically already said goodbye. So, here it is: weturnedoutokay.com/wreck Click there to help me wreck this podcast : ) Also included in the survey: the chance for you to have a quick 1-to-1 call with me in September! Completely free, and without obligation. September is really hard for a lot of you, and I want to help you make it better.   Today I am asking the questions: How can this show be better? How can it help you more? What do you like, what do you love, what do you wish was different? A few months back, we passed 400,000 downloads of We Turned Out Okay. 400,000! That's almost half a million! When I started the show more than four years ago, I couldn't even imagine 4000 downloads, never mind a hundred times that. I felt, and still feel to this day, such gratitude to you. For getting us here, and most importantly for sticking with the show. I do it for us. For anyone raising kids. Because I have been where you are. I totally know, from the inside, that raising kids and staying sane at the same time is a juggling act, and sometimes we feel like all the balls are falling down around us. Let's wreck We Turned Out Okay, in the best way possible. Here is the link to the survey I created asking those questions above. Cheers! (Here is the link to this episode in your browser.) Key Links: Click here for the book Wreck this Journal, which first showed me how useful (and fun) it can be to get into the wrecking mindset! Click here to check out the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. Click here to get the weekly Parenting Newsletter I send out each and every Wednesday.

In this week's episode of We Turned Out Okay, we examine a parent's role in a child's education! Lots of parents have no idea how to help their kiddos in learning how to read, write, do math, or code. But these are the essential skills of the future. How do we help our kids, when they're young, get ready for all that learning? Find out by listening to this episode of We Turned Out Okay! Plus in Parenting News:  A really fascinating episode of Experiential Wisdom, all about lifelong learning and why it matters now, more than ever. Join us! Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you remain sane while raising your kiddos! Past editions have included: – How to get your child to take more responsibility – How to teach your child social skills – Under what circumstances, if any, you should let your child watch YouTube. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!   Go to weturnedoutokay.com/289 for lots of key links mentioned in today's episode, for free guides (on potty training, picky eating, and how to handle every temper tantrum), and lots more resources! Also: Click here to learn more about working closely with me, either as a private coaching client or as a member of the Ninja Parenting Community And thank you so much for listening!

How does one mom handle it, when she finds her daughters throwing dirt at each other? (FYI: I'm taking your questions for an upcoming episode! What's on your mind about your kiddos right now? I'm a child development expert and parent coach, I'd love to help! Ask, and I'll address your question in our August 6 episode... I'm taking questions until Thursday, August 1 (which is when I'll record the episode.) Go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact to ask your question : ) No matter the season, there's always an opportunity for kids to come into conflict with other kids. Whether siblings, cousins, classmates or just somebody at the playground, mean words, pushing, and other acts of frustration or aggression abound. So, do we parents just have to live with it, put up with the bickering and hard feelings? Nope! This masterclass is a distillation of three months' worth of work in the private, online community I run for parents of young children. During April, May, and June 2019 we dove headfirst into the problems real parents really experience, and how to alleviate it when kids aren't getting along. Today I'm bringing you behind the scenes, directly into the Ninja Parenting Community, sharing the information you need to help your kids actually get along! Some of these ideas may seem unconventional, and likely (unless you are a member of NPC) they are new to you, but they REALLY work. In fact we finish out with a success story! How does one mom handle it, when she finds her daughters throwing dirt at each other? Find out in this episode of We Turned Out Okay! Plus in Parenting News: This article in the Atlantic, on Fred Rogers (of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood) and how he approached speaking with children, is one of those articles I wanted to hug to my chest

What are the factors that matter – like, REALLY matter, over the long haul – versus those that don't, in your child's education? (Quick heads-up: starting this coming Monday, July 15 I'm offering a program to help you do less for your child, and feel good about it! It's called "21 Days to Independence for your child… and for you." In these 3 weeks we will cover: how to not be your child's personal entertainer; how to stop hovering, for your benefit AND theirs; how to help them resolve conflicts, and more! The program takes place right in your inbox, so it's super convenient as well as helpful. Because I'm working closely with each participant, space is limited, and spots are filling up! Click weturnedoutokay.com/indy to learn more and register.) I'm sure you'll agree that getting a kid's education right is critical. It's not just critical while they're small. Screwing up a kid's education can impact their whole lives. And yet, it happens every day, when even well-intentioned and goodhearted people focus on the wrong stuff. Because you listen to this show, I know that you are well-intentioned and goodhearted. So I'm helping you focus on the right stuff today. Find out what really matters in your child's education in this episode of We Turned Out Okay! Plus in Parenting News: In this recent Education Weekly article, the idea of "growth mindset versus fixed mindset" is re-examined… We investigate in this week's Parenting News segment. Join us! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/286 for: A cheat sheet on what's crucial to include in your child's education What does not matter.. what you can (and should) leave out of your young child's education Links to free guides on potty training, handling every temper tantrum, and more And thank you so much for listening! The show is sponsored this week by Julian Coffee, a unique and amazing coffee that comes from a family farm in Puerto Rico and that will help you start your day off right! Listen to today’s episode for the code that will get you 10% off when you go to juliancoffeepr.com or Julian Coffee’s page in Amazon.

Clarity; balance; peace… Sometimes it can be hard to feel that we have any of these in our frantic homes and lives. Today's guest, Meagan Wilson, specializes in helping families reconnect with those positive feelings, and best of all helps us bring those positive feelings to our children. In our conversation we talk about: – The best kind of learning for little kids – How to get more of that into our kiddos' lives – The importance of wonderful things like daily rhythms and self-directed play into our family lives I hope you, like me, come away with the feeling of hope. That is what today's guest brings to our conversation. In the Parenting News segment of the show: Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting podcast is hosting a live, one day conference in New Jersey on May 18, and Dr. Laura Markham is the keynote speaker! Anna is kindly offering a $50 discount per ticket to listeners of We Turned Out Okay, so keep an ear out for that! Hope you enjoy this episode! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/276 for: A cheat sheet of the big ideas that come up in today's conversation Links to interesting stuff from our chat The video of the week: Off this week, returning Thursday, May 9th And thank you so much for listening! Temper Tantrums and Potty Training: Today I share about two helpful free guides I offer. While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick. You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : ) Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

How can I stop my child from being so impulsive? How can I stop her from hurting others with her bad behavior? How can I stop him from alienating people because he's hitting, or spitting, or worse? Sometimes it is scary how much anger and frustration our little kids have inside. And when it erupts, we can feel so powerless. This week's We Turned Out Okay podcast episode guest, Maureen Healy, has written a book called The Emotionally Healthy Child, to help us deal with these aspects of our young children. When I invited Maureen on the show, I knew she had written a wonderful book for us. A useful tool, helping us parents figure out how to get our kids' behavior to be more what we want to see. But I was not prepared for the kind of depth that Maureen Healy brings to the conversation. This gentle, thoughtful woman can teach us all about what it means to be human, and how to truly connect with our loved ones, especially our children. Hope you enjoy this conversation! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/261 for: A cheat sheet of favorite ideas from our conversation Key links from our conversation, including to Maureen's wonderful book, The Emotionally Healthy Child The scoop on my latest book! One reviewer says of 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know: I love how much "Karen" is in these pages… I can foresee myself using these chapter titles as self-talk mantras to remind myself to get out of discipline mode ASAP; that conflicts are opportunities; and so on." The video of the week: "Stop my young child being impulsive" And thank you so much for listening! Temper Tantrums and Potty Training: During today's break I share about two helpful free guides I offer. While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick. You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : ) Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

In Episode 69, I'm chatting with Karen Lock Kolp of the We Turned Out Okay website and podcast. We talked for the first time back in Episode 38: We Turned Out Okay with Karen Lock Kolp. Karen is an early childhood development expert and parent coach. On her website and podcast, Karen helps worried and hovering parents by bringing reassuring, helpful advice and conversations. Her new book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know: How to Stop the Chaos, Bring Out Your Child's Good Behavior, and Truly Enjoy Family Time. The Amazon description of 10 Secrets says: "Often parents feel so lost. We want to say and do the right things in the moment to connect with our young children, but sometimes we can't even get them to just listen, and respect us. 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know helps with that, and more.  This book shares what author Karen Lock Kolp has learned over many years working with parents and kids. She wrote it to give hope, encouragement, and useful tools to parents of young children. If you are the mom or dad of a young child, the ideas in this book will change your life and your relationship with your little one. Read all about these 10 Secrets today!" Big Ideas Drawing on her vast knowledge of child development, her many interactions with coaching clients and participants in her Ninja Parenting online community, and her own experience raising two boys, Karen developed her book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know. The book is comprised of two parts: Finding the good behavior within your child. Truly enjoying Family Time. Karen highlights some of the "Secrets" found in her book: Secret #1: Communication cuts through chaos! For some families, she suggests spending 10 minutes a day together, screen-free. This relaxed family time together can be the key to connection. Secret #3: Words Matter. Karen shares Magic Words in her book and online in a weekly post to her Facebook parenting group. They are productive, helpful phrases or single words to use in the moment so that you maintain connection with your child. Using Magic Words can help parents to avoid saying something in frustration that they may regret later. A Magic Words example: When you want your child to know that you love them you can say, “What can I do for you right now?” You’ll be surprised by the responses you might get. You may be asked to watch their video game or even just to give them a hug. Secret #8: You’re only preliterate once. Children’s academic and developmental progress shouldn’t be rushed. Help them when they ask for it. Appreciate and respect each child’s individual journey. Secret #9: Celebrate every day. The holidays can be so stressful for families. Karen suggests celebrating every day as a way to mitigate the pressures of celebrating special occasions. Kids can find something joyful in every day and that is something parents can learn from their kids. Quotes Audrey: “It’s a huge gift when someone just listens and isn’t distracted while they’re talking to us. Giving kids your full attention – even if it’s just a few minutes a day – can be so valuable. Many times, kids act out because they are just trying to get our attention, to share something with us.” Karen: "A lot of times what parents have trouble with is knowing the right thing to say in the moment. How do you not lose it? Or say something that you'll regret? The 'magic words for parents' is all about that." Karen: “Magic words work. They really work. This is what I keep hearing from people. They have to be specific, but there is a sort of formula to it. The first thing you should do is validate their concern by saying something like, ‘Wow, that sounds really hard for you’ and it isn’t telling your children what to do.” Karen: “Wherever your child is in their development, whether it is true pre-literacy, like if they are actually pre-verbal, or if they are teenagers and they just don’t have the life lessons yet that you want them to have, I think this idea really carries through because it’s more about them being able to look around and be curious about things, and celebrate the every day. Understand that where they are is a really good place to be.” Karen: “No matter what age, letting them be “pre-literate” – whatever that means to them – and letting those questions bubble up for them. Then when they ask, ‘What do I do? How do I start?’ That’s when you can help them along. You are there to help them look for resources.” Audrey: “When kids are young, it’s easy to become fixated on milestones or various stages of development, like potty-training or learning to read. It is helpful to have friends in your community whose kids are different ages and a few years older. Listening to their perspectives can help calm nerves of first-time parents. With a wider view of their growth, you are more relaxed, accepting their path, whatever it is, and more likely to enjoy the journey.” Audrey: “What kids remember from their childhood is more often the day to day, simple things that families can do together. Small, simple traditions often make the biggest impact. It doesn’t have to be big and fancy to be memorable.” Resources/Related Ep. 38: We Turned Out Okay with Karen Lock Kolp Ep. 22: Jedi Mom Tricks with Maria Horner (Part 1) Ep. 33: Jedi Mom Tricks (Part 2) Ep. 42: Jedi Mom Tricks (Part 3) If you liked this episode, you might want to read my post, Giving Kids Our Full Attention. Listen to Karen’s We Turned Out Okay podcast interview with me, Give Your Child The Magic of Summer, episode 224. Links Follow Karen Lock Kolp: Website: https://weturnedoutokay.com FB and twitter: @weturnedoutokay Learn more about the (NPC) Ninja Parenting Community. Join the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, where each Monday morning Karen shares Magic words for parents. She is also available to work privately with families in the Boston, Massachusetts area.

In today's episode, we discuss, should entrepreneurs homeschool their kids? FULL TRANSCRIPT Jocelyn: Hey, y'all. On today's podcast we discuss, should entrepreneurs homeschool their kids? Shane: Welcome to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, where life always comes before work. We're your hosts, Shane and Jocelyn Sams. We're a real family that figured out how to make our entire living online. Now we help other families do the same. Are you ready to flip your life? All right. Let's get started. Shane: What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast. It is great to be back with you again today. And we have a very special episode of the Flipped Lifestyle podcast. For those of you who've been listening to our podcast for a long time, you know that normally we do not have expert guests on the show. It's usually a member of the Flip Your Life community who comes on the show, gets a consulting call. We do that on air and we share it with everybody so that you can benefit from the conversation. Actually, the only other guest who's ever been on the Flipped Lifestyle podcast is Pat Flynn, from the Smart Passive Income podcast. Shane: And this one came out of nowhere. Jocelyn sent me a message the other day because we have been discussing whether or not we were going to take our kids out of public school and homeschool them next semester. Jocelyn: We've been discussing it for a year. Shane: Yeah, we've been discussing it off and on forever, and the other day a friend of ours sent us this book. What's it called, Jocelyn? Jocelyn: So it's called The 5-Hour School Week. A friend of mine just kind of randomly sent it to me and said, "Hey, you might be interested in checking this out," because she knew that this is something we've sort of been tossing around for a while. Jocelyn: So, you know, I downloaded it, being a former librarian. I had to jump online and get that thing. Shane: And Jocelyn devoured it and read it in like 30 minutes or something like that because she can read way faster than us. Jocelyn: A little longer than that. Shane: We decided that this was actually a really big issue, not only for us, but for other entrepreneurs out there because as we built the Flipped Lifestyle and we define the Flipped Lifestyle, and we teach other people how to flip their life, a big part of that is freedom, especially time freedom and control of your schedule. That has been a really big problem with us over the last couple of years as entrepreneurs, people who work at home and have total control of our life, it's really been difficult to send our kids to school, where they're in this structured environment and they're sitting in rows and they're on the bell schedule like a factory. Shane: Then also, having to work our schedule around getting up so early to go to school or even if we want to take a trip, wrestling with do we pull our kids out? Do they get behind? Do we have to ask permission to even do that? As we've talked to other entrepreneurs, we realized, especially with people that already work at home or want to work at home, that this is a major problem. Shane: So we reached out to the authors of this book and asked them if they would come on to the show. not only to discuss homeschooling, discuss entrepreneurship and how that all fits together, but also to answer some questions from entrepreneurs in the Flip You Life community and that's what we're going to do on the podcast today, is we're really going to wrestle with this question. Should entrepreneurs homeschool their kid, and if they do, how does that work? What does that look like? That's a really scary proposition. Shane: So without further ado, let's stop talking. Let's invite, let's welcome our guests to the podcast today, and I'm actually just going to say your first names. Jocelyn: We'll let you guys say your last name, okay? Kaleena: Sounds good. Shane: And I am good at butchering names and I want you guys to say this. So we have Aaron and Kaleena. Kaleena: Amuchastegui. Shane: What is it? Say it again? Kaleena: Amuchastegui. Shane: All right. We have Aaron and Kaleena- Kaleena: Amuchastegui. Shane: Amuchastegui. Okay. Welcome to the show, guys. Aaron: Awesome. Thanks so much for inviting us to come on. You know, from you guys getting to talk about what you do and we're really excited to be able to share with you and your community. We're entrepreneurs as well, and we had to do some crazy flips in our life too, so we're super-excited. Kaleena: Yeah, super excited. Shane: I do want to stress that we are not affiliates, we're not getting any benefit for this, you know, financially. Jocelyn: We've met them for the first time, like a few minutes ago. Shane: Yeah, exactly. So we are literally here just to help entrepreneurs in their journey and to help people who are really struggling with this question about homeschooling. So if you could, you mentioned you were entrepreneurs, tell us a little bit about your background as an entrepreneur and then maybe you could go into that decision-making process that led you guys down this homeschool route. Kaleena: Yeah, absolutely. Aaron: Sure. We've been entrepreneurs for almost 10 years now. So originally we were full-time workers. I worked for a residential home builder. Kaleena worked for various offices, different things like that. Back in 2009, that was kind of that first moment of quitting our jobs to become entrepreneurs. Part of that was what everybody wants to try for, is trying to get more freedom, more life, more things like that, but our first couple of years of that was we thought that we were going to get a lot of our time back, but our first few years of entrepreneurship was just really, really long hard hours. Aaron: The businesses that we had chosen, there was 50 and 60 hour weeks and we were buying and selling and flipping houses and doing construction. Kaleena ran a big real estate brokerage. It was a really good experience for us, so we started, after a lot of hard work, we got the money and the finances that entrepreneurship was supposed to bring, but we hadn't quite figured out that freedom part yet because we were working and working a ton. Aaron: Then several years ago, we kind of had those years where there's nannies raising our kids, working way too much around the clock, and just kind of came to these, this kind of different experience where we started to, as entrepreneurs, that way working too much. Our marriage wasn't really going very good, we had nannies raising our kids, they were going off to school and we were really, really unhappy. Then we had kind of some really come to moments. We started adjusting that, changing that business, had to get recycled and back in 2013 Kaleena said, to kind of take a different angle. Kaleena: Right. Shane: You mean when you made it financially, everything didn't work out perfectly? Kaleena: Yes. Exactly. Shane: Come on, that's what everybody thinks, though, right? Once you get that. Aaron: It's so heartbreaking, though. Kaleena: It's super heartbreaking. Aaron: Like when you finally make it to what you think you're supposed to get to and you're still like, "Wait, we're still miserable." That's a sad, sad moment, really. Kaleena: Yeah. Shane: You know what though? That's a part of everyone's journey that we talked to that's made it is ... I think we were actually kind of fortunate in this regard in our journey because Jocelyn used to work in corporate, like the ladder. I mean, you're climbing to the top and you kind of get to a point and you realize, "Wait a minute, you mean if I get the promotion I'm still not happy?" and I did college football coaching and football coaching and things like that. So we kind of had these 70 hour work week experiences before we became entrepreneurs, and I think that kind of tempered how we walked into entrepreneurship. Now, granted, we had the 70 hours weeks when we were working full time, raising kids, trying to build a side business, right? Kaleena: Yep. Shane: But you do realize on the other side of that that it's not just the money. The money can create some opportunity, but it's the time. That's really what you got to get back or everything kind of falls apart. Jocelyn: Yeah, and it's just like part of the whole value. You realize that money is important, but time is even that much more important. Kaleena: That's true. Jocelyn: So it's kind of crazy. It's like a journey. You have to go through the journey to get there to understand that, I think. Shane: So as you're doing this with nannies raising your kids and things like that and you have this come to Jesus moment, like, "Oh my gosh, this is not what we want." Kaleena: Yeah. Shane: How old were your kids in 2013 when that kind of happened? Kaleena: So we have four children all together and I had three girls that were three and under. So I had a three-year-old, a one-year-old, and a newborn and when things really kind of hit the head, we had just had our third baby. She was maybe like a year, year-and-a-half old. Really, we just kind of self-imploded. Our marriage was failing. We were both making six figure incomes, but we were miserable, like I've never been so discontent in my entire life. Kaleena: So it's just those moments that bring you to your knees that you're like, "Okay, we've got to change some stuff." So Aaron went on this mission in growth, like a growth mindset kind of mission, where he started reading Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. He read the 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. Aaron went on this new mission and I started really scaling back my work. I started hiring people, which we hadn't done. I'd been carrying like 30 to 40 transactions at a time completely by myself. Kaleena: So we started outsourcing some of that work and getting rid of the nannies, and me stepping back into the role that I knew was going to make me happier. So that happened over the course ... I mean, it took a lot of work. I don't want this to sound easy. It took time. Like we were probably a full year in to some serious, serious life changes and business changes when we had this epiphany that things weren't ... We weren't being taken to the level we wanted to be taken to because we couldn't get our kids there with us. Shane: Love that. Aaron: Yeah you know, when we made that first shift to go from 70 hour work weeks to trying to live a four hour work week lifestyle, we made those big changes over that six months to a year, and it really started working. We really started to find where I could travel for work and do things that we could no longer do in California, and then I had a chance to open up - I was doing all these deals again in Texas so I talked to Kaleena and I said, "Hey I need you to open up a brokerage account." Like hey, we've got our family back, we've got our lifestyle back, but now I'm paying 30,000 a month in commissions to other people, I need to go open up a brokerage account. Aaron: And luckily she was super smart and just said, "You know what, we're not gonna work together now. I'm not gonna choose to go back to that lifestyle, we'll make up the money some other way. But I want to raise our kids." Aaron: At that time we weren't homeschooling yet, it was just as entrepreneurs the best lifestyle for us was for me to be running a business and for her to be able to focus on the family. But still at that time she was taking the kids to school and going through that process. Kaleena: Right, and essentially what you were talking about, that 70 hour week but with my kids in school. Shane: That's amazing, and for us we've kind of come to a point about the school discussion. When we quit our jobs, we went into it working together. But we've kind of set some limits in that place, we were working like, during the kids' school hours. So, we'd take the kids to school, we would work from - I don't know. We'd come home, we'd go to the gym, we'd come home, we'd work 10 to 2:30, and then go pick the kids up. Shane: But then we started asking ourselves, is that really what we want for our family? Do we want to drop the kids off and not see them all day? Do we want to have no say in their education? And we realized, I think in the last year, we traded our freedom back to society. Because we are just locked into this school schedule and school cycle now, and it really came to a head this summer when we had to write an essay to get permission to miss a week of school to take our kids to Jamaica. Shane: And I'm sitting here like, what's a better experience? Getting on an airplane and flying to another culture, or sitting in a classroom? And why am I having to write a five paragraph essay to get permission from anybody? We have total control over our lives. We control our finances, we control our schedule, we control everything. What have we done that we've given all our freedom away again? Jocelyn: If that wasn't bad enough, then my son missed a week of school, which was excused by the way because we got it excused from the school, but then he misses a week of school and he gets a little bit behind. And one of the teachers has the nerve to say to him, "Well if you weren't spending so much time in Jamaica, then maybe you would've learned this material." Jocelyn: And I'm like, "What?" Kaleena: Ugh. Shane: Like that is not an either or, you know what I'm saying? Like, life is not either or, even though society wants us to think that way. Kaleena: Right. Shane: Why couldn't we do that and then get caught up and then do something else, or if we had - Jocelyn: Or why wasn't that considered a valuable learning experience that you went to another country, and experienced things that most of these kids in this school may never experience in their lifetime? Why is that not... Shane: And you could bring that back to share it with the other students. Kaleena: Yes, exactly. Jocelyn: Yes. Aaron: I mean, you've read the books so you know, that's the whole basis of the five hour school week, and where that five hour school week came about. It was the same issues of dropping the kids off at school. Kaleena: Right, it was like, "Hey, we're refusing to jump through the hoops of life. We're not entering the rat race. We refuse, as adults, to live this way." And yet we were sending our kids right into that Shane: Oh my gosh. Kaleena: -same rat race that we were rebelling against so strongly. Shane: I'm so glad that you said that, because we literally had this conversation probably about two weeks ago. Jocelyn: This is what our entire brand is about. Our entire brand is about putting family first and not living the way that the rest of society says to live, yet that's exactly what we're doing every single day. Kaleena: Every day. Shane: I got to thinking about our lives. We come home, we've worked hard to build this life for ourselves, in the morning we get up, we go to the gym, we work on what we want to work on, we don't work when we don't want to. I play a little Xbox in the morning I ain't gonna lie. Kaleena: Yeah. Shane: We've kind of built this thing to do what we want to do with our life. And then our kids are just locked into this, every 45 minutes. Like Pavlov's dog a bell will ring, and you will go to the next place, and you will learn what you learn. And if you can't keep up with those other 30 kids that were randomly put in your classroom, because they're your age, and you get behind, you're screwed. Shane: It just really doesn't jive, not only with what we're doing, but really what we should be doing. Schools were invented 100 years ago to provide childcare for factory workers in Chicago and places like that, and also to train people to work in those same environments. I'm just not sure that's the way the world is anymore. Shane: I heard this story, Jocelyn told me this quote the other day that said, "A time traveler came to the future, and was so confused by all the things that he saw. He saw iPads, and the internet, and space travel. And he felt really scared and uncomfortable, but then he went into a school and said, 'Thank god some things haven't changed.' " Kaleena: Oh man, yes. Shane: That's kind of where we find ourselves, at a crossroads. Are we really pursuing freedom if we keep putting our kids in this environment? Jocelyn: We've been wrestling with this forever. Another part of it for me is what you talk about in the book, you talk about how you get what's left over for your kids. They give their best hours to school, and by the time they get home, we're tired because we've been working all day. They're tired because they've been working all day. We don't really spend quality time together. Jocelyn: And what's sad is, we spend more time with our kids than probably most of their peers' parents spend with them, and still it's not even quality time. Sometimes it is, but not always. Kaleena: Right well a lot of the time I'm guessing it's staying on top of them to get their homework done, I'm guessing you're having to urge them to get that reading in, even though they just sat in a desk for seven hours. Jocelyn: Yes. Kaleena: So you are having to now work for the school system and really be kind of a command sergeant, and instead of getting to love on your kid and pour into their life, instead you're like, "Get that reading slip done, make sure that homework gets done, even though I only get to see you for four hours tonight." And let us squeeze all that in to this teeny tiny bit of time we have. Shane: Also, then you take them to their sports, or some activity at night time. Jocelyn: Yes, we have extracurricular activities. Kaleena: Yep so do we. Jocelyn: My daughter, she does an all star cheer team, and it's 30 minutes away from our house. So by the time we drive the 30 minutes she has practice for two hours, and we drive back. That's over three hours of time. How in the world are we supposed to do reading at that time? Shane: And then she goes to bed at 9:30 and we have to get her up at 5:30 AM to go to school because they tell us to be there at 6:50, or whatever. Kaleena: And what about if cheer is her passion? What about if she is going to make it as a professional cheerleader, and you're having to squeeze her passion into that teeny tiny bit of time. Because she spent so much time focusing on stuff that does not fill her up. If she was at home, she could be perfecting and mastering cheer. Or perfecting and mastering where her passion lays. That's the biggest disadvantage, that our kids are spending time on things that are not going to add any value to their life. Kaleena: We are spending 40 hours a week with our kids teaching and shoving things down their throat they will never, ever use. Shane: Yeah, and like. Go ahead. Aaron: We had a couple big moments of that, where it was like hitting us, what are we really doing? I was speaking at a conference and I was on stage telling people about the four hour work week. I said, "Hey you guys work too much. This is how you can work in just a couple hours a day and finish your work day and be successful. Know that the five people you hang out with the most are who you're going to be like, so only hang out with winners." Aaron: And a lady stood up at the end and goes, "Hey that's great. So how does this apply to your kids in school?" And we were like... Jocelyn: Ouch. Shane: Uh.... Kaleena: Yeah. Aaron: Yeah, and I was telling people, "Hey do this, this, and this." And we were sending our kids off... and we had a big moment that night where we were like, "Whoa!" We had experimented with some different things, but that was a big moment. Aaron: And then just like another evening, going to bed again after school, and extracurriculars and we're telling our daughter, "Hey you need to go get your reading done." And she's in tears, like, "Why? I actually earned a free pass from something else so I don't have to." And we're like, "No, you have to." Because we were brainwashed, too. Aaron: And then we tell her, and we lay down in bed and we're like, maybe she's right. What are we doing? We've done everything we're supposed to do. We've checked the boxes, and we got successful, and Kaleena is still a stay at home mom at that time and we're still not even getting enough time with our kids, and not doing it, and really starting to push, you go, hey there's something really wrong here. Kaleena really started educating herself on it. Shane: And I want to stress here some really important facts. Because I know people that - this podcast is going to be controversial. I know it is. Kaleena: Oh yeah. Yup. Shane: But we have a really good school and a great community. We have really hard working, dedicated, good teachers. Jocelyn: Who care about our children. Shane: Who love our kids, and they work within a system that they don't always have control over. And also if you look at the entire span of human history, it is a miracle in the United States, it is a miracle in the United States that every child does even get to go to school, good or bad. Kaleena: Absolutely. Shane: It is an absolute miracle of humanity, if you just look at it throughout history. Shane: However - and the opportunities that we have to be entrepreneurs, to work on the internet, to build a life that we want, and even to educate our child at home, is all built on the fact that that was available for the past hundred years. That being said, somethings wrong. Something has changed in the way that we're all living that has to be corrected. And the system that we're using now is just not working - for our kids, for families. For anybody. Especially for entrepreneurs who do have that freedom. Shane: One of our things is travel. Whether we're speaking, we do live events around the country. Whether we just want to take a trip for educational purposes, or fun. What happens when you want to travel during the week? What happens when you want to get away for a couple weeks in the winter to keep from getting Seasonal Affective Disorder? All these things that you can take into account, you've still got school to contend with. It is trapping you there just like a 9 - 5 job or like a rat race. Shane: What about your kids who are having their creativity stifled? What if your kid hates math? But they can grasp it, they can do the math that they need to do. But what if they are musically inclined and they're only getting 20 minutes of music a day? Shane: Isaac is taking coding in one of his classes, and he's really disappointed because he's cycled out of the coding class, and he was really getting into it. And I'm like, "Oh my gosh, you mean that opportunity disappeared because they can't get everyone through because they only have 12 computers?" Like, what if he wants to keep doing that? He stayed at home sick today and he's up there coding right now. Shane: Where are those opportunities for that? That's where we kind of are at right now. Can we pull this off? Can we do this? But that leads to a whole other set of questions. Aaron: We should say, too, that we absolutely loved the school our girls were going too, too. And the teachers loved our kids. It wasn't that the school we were going to was broken, the system was broken for us. Kaleena: Yes. Aaron: It wasn't a good match for who we wanted to be and what we were trying to do of excelling to these different levels. Then that basis of what you said, the whole idea behind the five hour school week is you can spend an hour a day doing all that normal schoolwork stuff, and then the rest of the day is whatever they want. For travel, or focusing on coding. One of our daughters took coding classes for a while, too. And being able to find that passion. The little details with some focus, they can do all the stuff that everybody else has to do in school, and then they can spend the rest of that time they've saved now on stuff they love. Whether its cheerleading or soccer, whatever. Shane: We've kind of noticed too that school is - and this goes back to there's a problem with how the actual thing has evolved - school's not realistic. It's not realistic to how life actually works. So we can get into the life skills, and balancing checkbooks, and all that's fine. We all have jobs to teach our kids that stuff to. Shane: But when you put 30 people in a room and you teach a lesson once, and you expect all 30 to be able to get there in one class, that doesn't happen. That's not realistic. People learn and grow on their own path. Our son came home the other day and it broke our hearts. I was sitting there talking to him and I said, "Are you okay, did you have a bad day?" And he goes, "I just feel dumb." And I go, "What do you mean?" And he goes, "I'm not understanding area and perimeter, and they only talked about it one day and we went on to something else. But they keep testing me on it." And I'm like oh my gosh, he got to watch the guy do it on the blackboard. But if he was at home, he could watch the lesson over and over until he got it. Jocelyn: And that's how these guys got started, like I know reading in your book that's what was a light bulb moment for you, right? Helping somebody with a math problem. Kaleena: Yeah, so it's interesting. We went on a trip. We started hearing people speak about unconventional education ideas. In fact the vice principal from our private school was leaving to go start an Acton Academy which is an entrepreneurial based school that goes from kindergarten all the way through high school. It's a really incredible program. Shane: We looked at it, we almost thought about moving to a city that has an Acton academy. Jocelyn: Yeah one of our friends, her children go to one. Kaleena: They're incredible. So he's leaving this school, because he's saying, "I have kids and I can't actually send them to the school that I'm a principal at." And so I loved and respected this man. So we were hearing from him, other entrepreneurs were homeschooling their children, and I'd started reading some new material, like Free to Learn from Peter Gray. And so we started slowly tiptoeing into this new territory. Kaleena: So we were like, we're going to pull our kids out of school for a week and go to Yosemite. And I don't care what the school's going to say, we're just gonna go do this. So we're gone for the week, we forget the kids' homework. We think it's going to be a catastrophe. We have this beautiful family vacation. The girls, and we, learned so much together just about the park, about nature. We're doing open air bus rides, and all the things. We're doing campfires with the rangers. We are learning in real time, and making incredible family memories. Kaleena: And so then after a week we get home, and what's waiting for us? A week's worth of homework. And just the fear, and the anxiety sets in and its like panic in my house. And so I start unloading the car and Aaron's like, I'm gonna sit down with the girls, we're gonna knock out homework. Kaleena: Our oldest, Maddy, is stressed. She has to learn long division. They're gonna go over long division this week and she hasn't done it, and this is so terrifying. No exaggeration, Aaron sat there for two hours with all three of our girls and knocked out a weeks worth of work, including teaching Maddy long division. Where she could just sit and independently do problems. Aaron: Its such a fun conversation with you guys, because you guys could've written a couple chapters of our book. Kaleena: Right. Aaron: The same problems you guys are talking about is what's there. We discovered some of it by knowledge, some by seeing it. Those couple hours when we got back, it's the four hour work week principles. If you're really focused and you have no distractions and you're going to the task at hand in the most productive manner, you're gonna be able to finish a whole bunch of stuff in a short amount of time. Aaron: One of the big problems with school like what you said, is that they teach in one method. Which is going to be slower than the fastest person in class and faster than the slowest person in class. So it's really only the perfect speed for a few of the students. And it's only in that subject. So it's not the most efficient way. Aaron: The most efficient way to learn is as fast as that individual can learn. Maybe this kid has to go over perimeter and area ten different times, but in this other subject they get it like that. And so the way we have it set up is that it's that quick focus and then - I take Maddy back to school the next day. We drop her off and she's relieved. We got to pick her and and we go, "Hey how was your day today?" And she goes, "Dad, I was the only one that knows how to learn long division, they didn't even get to it this week." Shane: Wow. Isn't that crazy? Aaron: It is. Shane: You know what's funny though? You still had to deal with all the stress and anxiety. She was so worried about this artificial deadline or consequence that society and the school had placed on her. It's subconscious, they don't know they're doing it. This fear and anxiety was over nothing. Shane: Where is the joy in just, holy crap I know how to do long division. That's miraculous, that we can do these mathematical things, and that's gonna pay dividends down the road. But she got to - what if she had just entered that weekend with, "Oh we just went to Yosemite. Hey what are we studying this week guys? Long division? Cool, let's figure that out." Instead of, "Oh my gosh if I don't learn this tomorrow I'm a failure." And all these consequences, and all these bad things. Shane: You got the result, but you had to deal with all the problems. When you could've just eliminated the anxiety and the problems. Kaleena: Right. Then the problem continued, because for the next three to four weeks the school was still going over long division and Maddy had mastered it and was bored out of her mind. Shane: And that's our daughter's problem right now. She's having the opposite problem. In her class in her grade, not that she's any more smarter or more capable than our son, but she's younger and she's the faster speed right now in her topics. Jocelyn: And she says she's bored. Shane: And she's bored out of her - she doesn't want to go to school. Jocelyn: Basically during a big portion of the day she takes accelerated reader tests, which I don't really have a problem with accelerated reader or anything like that, and I'm not saying anything bad about her teacher. Her teacher is catering to those who haven't mastered whatever it is she's trying to teach, and so because my child has she spends her days reading books and taking tests on them. Kaleena: Right. Oh I know. Shane: She's reading easy fun books and doing nothing. So it's just this weird environment. I go back to, school is not realistic of the real world. Shane: When I wake up every day, I'm looking at the next thing I've got to do to grow our business, to improve our marriage, to help our kids, to help the people in our community, to record podcasts for our audience so they've got something to spur them. I'm always looking at the next thing, there's never a time where I just stop and I'm like, I gotta wait for everybody else to catch up. Shane: That's not real, that's not how life actually works. Looking at how school functions - how old are you guys? Kaleena: I'm 36. Aaron: And I'm 38. Shane: Okay, so I'm 40. Jocelyn's about 30, so we're the same age. We talked to somebody a couple weeks ago, we talked to a guy who was like 31. Right? When we had a live event a couple months ago we had over a hundred people that had flown in for a conference that we put on. There was everybody in that room from age 30 to 60. Shane: But you go to school, and it's the only 18 years of your life where you're trapped with people who are the exact same age as you. And now the schools have become such bubbles. The seniors are kept away from the sophomores. And the sophomores are kept away from the freshman. Everybody's compartmentalized and even the arbitrary - deadlines are one thing - but these arbitrary, weird deadlines, like if you don't figure this out on time, not if you don't do something on time, it's just not real. It's just not the way the real world actually functions in 2000 and whatever. Kaleena: Yeah. Aaron: It's completely unrealistic and totally inefficient. Kaleena: Yeah. Aaron: It's the least efficient way to learn, is the way that they have it set up. It absolutely takes the fun out of it because they are forced to learn for a certain amount of time, all the time. It is so much less fun whereas instead of being excited about learning long division, it's like checking a box. Kaleena: Yep. Jocelyn: Exactly. Aaron: By doing classroom time less, now when they do learn, they want to. They love it. Because they aren't forced to do it all day long, they're choosing to more and more often. And they're getting to choose what they learn more. Kaleena: Right, we're not learning for a grade and we're not learning to pass a test, we're learning for the sake of learning. Which is totally different. This isn't me shooting down education, I love education. I think learning should be a life long journey. From the day that we're born, until the day that we die, we should be learning something new every single day. Not stop when we get a degree, not stop when we get all A's. It's absolutely crazy that we say, get that bachelor's degree and you're done. We're done learning? Are you kidding me? It's crazy. Shane: School's over. Jocelyn: That's just our natural tendency as people, especially as children. That's their natural tendency, to want to learn. Kaleena: Yeah absolutely. Jocelyn: And I think that sometimes in school we kind of stifle that. If we'd mastered whatever it is that we're teaching that day, read some books and take some tests. You know? Kaleena: Yep. Jocelyn: While that is learning... Shane: It fills the time to find something else. Aaron: Yeah, fill the time. Kaleena: Yeah, fill the time. Shane: Okay so let me go back real quick, and then we have bunch of questions. One of the great opportunities we have because we have an audience is, we reached out. This is a hot topic. I want to stress, too, that Jocelyn and I, we do work together in our business. You guys have divided this up. Shane: We both have been successful in our different business pursuits. But we have friends that homeschool from every economic status point. So there's no restriction, we always kill excuses. That's our number one mission in our podcast. Shane: Anyone listening to this, I don't care if you're just starting you entrepreneurial journey, I don't care if you've made it, I don't care if one of you is an entrepreneur and your spouse isn't, I don't care if you're both entrepreneurs, this is one of those things if you want to do it and it's important to you, you'll find a way. And if it's not, you'll find an excuse. So we just want to slam that door shut, and if anybody's thinking that right now, "Well that's great for you guys to talk about this. Shane and Jocelyn got this big podcast. You guys are doing real estate and stuff." No, there's no excuse not to do this if you want to. Okay? Shane: So when you guys made the call - just real quick before we get into a bunch of questions - where did you make the call? How did you make the call? Did you do it in the summer, Christmas time? Just out of nowhere? What was that conversation? How did you execute that? And how did you end up where you're actually homeschooling? Kaleena: Yeah, so a lot like you guys. We talked about it for over a year. Aaron was ready on week one. The minute I started the conversation, Aaron's like, "Pull the trigger, let's go, I'm in." Shane: "I'm ready to go right now. Let's do it." Jocelyn: He's with ya. Kaleena: Right, yeah. I, however, sat in a whole pool of fear for a decent 18 months. Freaked out. Like, my kids are going to be home all day, every day, and - Jocelyn: You're my soul sister. Kaleena: Yes. Like, I don't have a college degree. Yes, I built an amazing real estate brokerage, but what am I going to teach them? Am I gonna mess them up? How are they gonna socialize? If there is a question out there, I had it. And I was terrified of it. Jocelyn: Do you live in my head? Because I was reading the first chapter of your book, I'm like, "I'm pretty sure she was at my house this morning." Shane: Jocelyn, she gets this book, she just walks in here and goes, "I'm calling these people, we're talking to them, they're going to be on the podcast." And I was like, "Oh, what? What are we talking about?" Kaleena: What are we talking about? Exactly. Kaleena: So Aaron was ready, and I sat in and sat in it, and we had in incredible summer. So we ended the school year and it was pretty miserable. We went into the summer and we were living our best life, and we are living to the highest of our abilities. We're traveling, we're killing it at business, we're killing it at parenting, our marriage is thriving, and it's the middle of August and I'm writing a tuition check to send my kids back to school because I'm terrified of like, what are they gonna say? What are my friends gonna think? What's going to happen? Kaleena: So I put them back into school in September, mind you I get elected as the PTA president this year, I'm super involved in our kids' school. I volunteer, we're huge contributors. That's the other thing. You're like, "Oh my gosh all these people that depend on me, what are they gonna say? How are they gonna feel?" Kaleena: So we go from September into November and it was miserable. I can't think of very many weeks that I wasn't going to bed crying, our children- Aaron: She was so caught up though, like caught up in the moment. As soon as school started again, they were all 100 percent back in it. She was there, it was the long days, it was doing all the extracurriculars, it was setting up fundraisers and things like that. I could see that it was killing them. Kaleena: We were falling apart. We were self imploding, literally. Every day I was dropping them off and it went against everything that was in my gut. Shane: This is November right now for us- Jocelyn: I know we were feeling the same way. Shane: And when you said that, I thought to myself that is the exact experience that we have had. Jocelyn: We seriously hate it every day. We hate it. Kaleena: I know. I do know. Aaron: We ended up - it was an accidentally pushing it a little further... I saw what was going on so I scheduled three weeks of vacation in November. Kaleena: Yeah. Aaron: So it was coming up to November first and we realized that I was on a business trip somewhere, and Kaleena is getting ready to write the November check and realizing that they're only going to be at school four or five days that month. Kaleena: Right. We had a couple of business trips, and we decided to mix in going and seeing the volcanoes in Hawaii as an educational piece. So we were gonna be jumping across the country for three weeks and the kids weren't gonna be in school. Because there's also Thanksgiving holiday. It's parent teacher conferences though, and Aaron's in Florida working, and I just call him on the way to parent teacher conferences and I said, "Unless I get a different feeling, I think I'm pulling the kids out right now." And he's like, "I've got your back, I support you, I'm so proud of you..." Whatever. Kaleena: I walked into parent teacher conferences, and the first one was for our oldest, Maddy. And she was a fourth grader. And the teacher said, I'll never forget this conversation because it just solidified what I was doing that day, she said, "Your daughter is incredible. She's so amazing, all A's, the kindest girl in the class, helps people that are below her." All the things you want to hear as a parent, and then she followed it with- Aaron: Reading at a seventh grade level. Kaleena: Right, she's a brand new fourth grader reading at a seventh grade level. And then, I can still hear it in my head, "But, we need to push her a little bit further. We need to get her where she's reading at an eighth grade level. Let's just push a little bit more." Kaleena: And I just kept hearing, "But, but..." And I'm sure she went on and said a lot of things, but all I heard was "but." And I'm like but, nothing. She's having anxiety attacks every day that I'm bringing her to school and she's an all A students. But you want more? Kaleena: I just looked at her and she was like the nicest, sweetest, kindest, great teacher. And I said, "Thank you so much. Maddy's not coming back, I'm starting to homeschool." Jocelyn: Hmm, ouch. Kaleena: Right? And then I did the same thing - honestly the kindergarten and first grade teacher, she was like, "We wish we could do the same with our kids. If there was a way we could make that happen we totally-" Shane: I'm sure everybody had an opinion. Kaleena: Oh yeah. Everybody's all in or thinks you're absolutely nuts. There's very few middle ground to this. Shane: Yeah. Jocelyn: We're used to this. Kaleena: Yeah, you know exactly. Jocelyn: When we decided to quit our jobs in rural, south Kentucky in the middle of the school year, people thought we were absolutely nuts. Shane: People thought something had happened, people came up to us like, "Is your marriage okay?" Kaleena: Right. Shane: "Is one of you getting indicted for something?" We went home one time to Thanksgiving that year and Jocelyn, God bless him, her grandfather came up to me after dinner and we were getting ready to drive back home across the state. And he reaches out, he's old school, he's an old coal miner guy. He was going to shake my hand before I leave, and I looked down and he had put a 20 in my hand, and he goes, "Now son, I know you're not working now, so you need some gas money." And I'm like, "Bro I made last month as much as I made in a year teaching." But he didn't get it. Kaleena: Oh really. Shane: They just- Kaleena: Right no, they don't get it. Shane: If you do something weird like homeschool, like be an entrepreneur, do something to change your life even as radical as, we shouldn't work 70 hours a week because it'll affect our marriage, but isn't it what we're suppose to... Those things really get to people. Kaleena: Oh yeah. Shane: And they don't understand it or have the wherewithal to go do it. Kaleena: Yeah. Shane: So I could totally see - this is crazy too, I haven't had this moment in a while. Because we've been rolling now for six years doing what we do, right? But I remember when I read 'The Four Hour Work Week', when I read these other books about entrepreneurship and when I found people that had the guts to go be successful, or at least try and fail. Right? Shane: I remember thinking, "I want that." Kaleena: Yeah. Shane: And, "maybe I'm not to the point now where I can go all in, but I want that." And when you said, "She's not coming back." It just made me, again, feel that I want that. I want to have the guts to say that. I think we're- Jocelyn: If it were up to Shane this would've happened, probably year ago. Shane: You know what's funny though? Until both us are at that point, I think that's how marriage works. Kaleena: Right. Shane: The reason I don't do it is because we are not there yet, and that's an important part of the dynamic is you both gotta get on the same page. Kaleena: I think for me, I needed it to hurt that bad. Shane: You need a catalyst. Kaleena: I did, because, mind you this is us living our best life, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Just like entrepreneurship, homeschooling is the same. There are days when you are digging in deep, and you better remember those worse days that were behind you. I'm sure you thinking back at working for the school system. I'm sure you - Shane: What we look back on, for us, the nutshells version of our story is our son was being abused at a day care center. They were locking him in a bathroom for hours at a time to punish him in the dark. I found this out one morning, and was stuck between a rock and a hard place because I'm a teacher, there's 30 kids in my classroom, I have to be there. There's legal ramifications if something happens and I don't show up. Shane: So I dropped Isaac off somewhere where he could not stay for more than a couple hours. I asked my boss for time off, and my boss told me that I would have to handle my personal problems after work because she knew my son needed me, but my job needed me, too. That's the moment. Every day it gets hard, every day I think about that, I am like, "I'm not ever going back" Kaleena: Yes. Shane: That's where we are at school. When my kid is downcast, shoulders turned, saying he feels dumb, I can't send him there anymore. Kaleena: Yeah. Shane: That's what you have to reach back for. Kaleena: Yeah. It needs to - I'm really grateful for that pain, I am, because it is what reminds me that this is why we're doing it, this is why it's different, this is why we chose this lifestyle. The timing was perfect for us, even though it felt like a long drawn out process. Aaron: A lot of biggest decisions, we do wrestle with them for a long time. Even when it was entrepreneurship, it was six months or a year of telling Kaleena, "I need to start my own business, I want go do this and and be..." And when our second daughter was born six weeks early and I was staring at her in the incubator, that's when I was like, "Oh man, this is my fault, Kaleena was working nights, I was working days. I need to do something better for my family now." Aaron: There are a lot of those moments where we think we want to go, and we're learning, and it takes that bigger catalyst to go, here's the moment. And Kaleena was so close, and then it was putting them back in school, those feelings every morning were still there. The big catalyst of going, "Hey your daughter's perfect, but let's push her really really hard." And it was like, yeah. Shane: We've coached thousands of people through our community, and we've seen so many people succeed, so many people fail. Everybody's in between, like every journey. But the people who really have that catalyst are the ones that we find really make it the fastest, because... it's not just something you want. I want a lot of things, but I'm not gonna go do those things. Jocelyn: It works better when you don't have a choice. Kaleena: Yeah, absolutely. Shane: Even something as simple as, we encourage people to do all of their videos live because you have no choice but to get it out. You can stop on a recording. But you can't do that when there's people watching. Kaleena: Yep. Shane: When our kids are watching, when our spouse is watching, when we're watching each other, it just pushes you to a whole new level. So we've talked a lot about some definite benefits, especially for entrepreneurial people who want that freedom lifestyle doing homeschool, but like everything in life it's not all sunshine and rainbows. A lot of times when you make decisions, it's not that you're really even making a decision on which one's the best. Which set of problems do I really want to deal with? Kaleena: Yes. Shane: So what are the, just from a general- Jocelyn: What are the challenges, let's not say problems, let's say challenges? Shane: -yeah the challenges, the negative things that arise when you choose to homeschool? Shane: How long we got? Kaleena: Right. No, that's not true. But I love that you say that's it's a different sort of - it's different challenges. Kaleena: Your kids are home all day for the most part, so just start there and really let that sink in to what that is. Your kids are home all day. So we've talked about all the pros that come with that, the cons are, if you're anything like I am, I'm an incredibly busy person separate from just being a mom. I have my own passions and my own stuff, so it's about finding a balance that works for our family. I think that's probably the number one challenge, is that not only are my kids living their best life, but that I'm not sacrificing my best life so that they can have theirs. Jocelyn: Yeah. Kaleena: Right? This isn't supposed to feel like, I'm giving up my life so that my kids can live their best life. This is supposed to be as a family, we are performing at the very best level that we can perform at. And if I'm not taking care of me and I'm not living into my best self, then all of that kind of falls apart. Jocelyn: Yeah. If I'm being really honest that is the number one hold back for me, that is the reason that I have been dragging around on this for approximately 12 months is because - we talked about this during the break, we just had a break a few minutes ago - but really what it is for me is that I am a very ambitious person myself. I am very interested in business, I want to do the business we are 50/50 partners, we do everything together. Jocelyn: While that's awesome, I can just see that my kids being at home all the time... when they want something and they're at home, they say, "Mom, mom, mom, mom." That's who they want. They know that I'm gonna do whatever it is they want me to do to get them off my back. Shane: Also that's biological, I think, to an extent. You know what I mean? Kid goes to mom. Jocelyn: Yeah. I'll be super honest, that is a huge concern for me because I don't like where we are right now because I feel like I have very little, I guess you would say, genuine interactions with them. It's all about "Get your homework done, get a bath, get ready for bed." Shane: "Get ready for this thing we have to drive you to." Jocelyn: Yes. It's like I have no time that I get to spend with them, so that bothers me. But it also bothers me, the thought that, what I feel is my God given reason for being on this earth, which is to help people figure out ways to get out of their daily grind, I feel like I need to be equally there for my children and equally there for that. So that's really hard for me. Shane: And you're also an introverted person. You recharge by being alone, and now we're having less alone. Kaleena: Yes, absolutely. Aaron: I think one of the challenges, too, is we talked about needing unschooling. Changing the old train of thought. The old train of thought is that the kid need to sit in a desk for eight or ten hours a day, and needs to be working the whole time or they're just being lazy. Right? Kaleena: Right. Aaron: So we have a lot of people that Kaleena coaches, and they get started doing it and go, "Well I do the curriculum and he finishes it in the first hour and then he just wants to go play all day." And we go, "Yes, exactly, and then you're supposed to let him." Kaleena: Right. Aaron: And then the parent is like, "Wait" and you have to unschool that and it's sometimes it's a challenge to them, they're like "Wait what do you mean?" Part of the problem is that old belief, when you do start to get those genuine experiences with your kids. After they finish that, it's like, what do you want to go learn about now? What do you want to go do now? When they get to see that they're in control of so much more of that, whether it takes them an hour or three hours to finish it and then they get to start having more control of their life. Then your time is a lot more of the genuine conversations, "How are you doing?" That sort of thing. Aaron: A change in mindset is a challenge for a lot of people. Shane: We have to remember, we both went to public school, we both got to this point. We have a friend who has a podcast called We Turned Out Okay, and it's hard even if you want to break free from it to break free from it. Because you start thinking about, well look at all the best memories of your life, they were kind of forced upon you because you were at school, but some of the best memories of your life are at school. That's just real life, its hard to let go of that. Jocelyn: I think it's to a lot of the known vs the unknown. This is something people struggle with with entrepreneurship, too. Your current life is not great but it's what you know, it's something known. Shane: And it could be very good, it's just not the highest level you could achieve. Jocelyn: Yeah, and the unknown is this new thing. Whether it be a new business, whether it be a new schooling method, whatever. Sometimes people just cling to what they're already doing because its something that they know, it's like they don't have to think about what could happen or what might not happen. I think that comes into it as well. Kaleena: I also think that it's a lot of work. It's like, you are having to be incredibly intentional with this lifestyle. In the same way that you're intentional about being an entrepreneur, you are going to need to be completely intentional about how your kids are learning. Now, that doesn't mean that all the work falls on you. Kaleena: Here's some really quick hacks, because Aaron talked about unschooling. There is this period for kids who are sitting in a school system, in a traditional classroom and have been for years. Like, my oldest sat in a school for six years from the time she was - we started early preschool. Right? Full day early pre school. Kaleena: We have to untrain that behavior, so is there this six month to year long period depending on how long your kids were in school, where literally you're gonna have to de-school them. Just breaking down those habits, those habits that I kind of feel are unhealthy habits, we had to break those down. Kaleena: I'm gonna tell you the easiest way to do that is just let them play. Give them freedom and let them step into being kids again. We really try to overthink it, I think, as homeschoolers. Like, they've gotta learn this, or we've gotta keep up with what their friends are learning in school, what they were learning when we pulled them out. That is not the point here. We are not pulling them out of school to teach them what they were just learning. We are trying to breed something different than what the school system was breeding. Kaleena: We want something different, therefore we have to do something completely different. So it's like literally taking a deliberate jump in the opposite direction. So if you can stay with that mentality in the first part of it, it really really helps. Shane: That's an amazing tip by the way. That blew my mind. That just crushes - it's taking the con, or the negative - Jocelyn: The challenge. Aaron: It takes the pressure off. Shane: And flipping it on its head, it just removes all those obstacles because we are all socially conditioned for a hundred years, five generations of people basically in a society, that your kid does this at this grade to 18 and this must happen, or you fail. And that's where all these challenges come from. These ghosts, we call them ghosts in entrepreneurship when we talk to people like, don't invent ghosts. Its not that we're inventing ghosts in this situation, we've been told the ghost stories our entire life. Kaleena: Right, yep. Shane: And when we want to do something different, we still remember the ghost story that's been told like it's real. And it just becomes this haunting this that one, keeps you from going into the forest in the first place. Or, two, keeps you anxious and terrified when you're passing through. Kaleena: Oh absolutely. Shane: Okay let me ask you this, what was the biggest mistake you guys made at the beginning? Because the beginning is the hardest part. Kaleena: Yes. Shane: Once you get past the beginning, y'all, it's alright. You can figure it out. So you're not going back, you tell them this, you show up Monday morning and you're like, "Oh wait, we're home, what do we do?" What's that biggest mistake the first few months that you guys made? Kaleena: So honestly going back to what I just said, it was really I planned too much. I put this really big expectation on what it was supposed to look like. So my plans was, because I had seen all these commercials all over the TV for like, K through 12, homeschool your kids at home, it's free. We're gonna give you a stipend, just sign up for our government assisted public school. You can school at home. And I'm like, perfect. That's awesome, they're gonna do all the work for me and I get to have my kids at home. Right? Kaleena: Okay so I'm sure there's a lot of good for those programs for other groups of people, and some of them might work like that and be awesome. The one in California was, you need to log, I think it was a minimum of five hours day. They were keeping attendance. You had to pass standardized testing. So I had this very grandiose, original thought of what my homeschooling journey was gonna look like and on day one it blew up. Because it wasn't what I wanted. Kaleena: So here's what I did that people think is absolutely crazy. I just took the next six months off. I would get up on a Monday and I would ask my kids, "What do you want to learn?" And then we would write it on a white board, and then we would go learn those things. And I literally kept it that easy. Kaleena: And if we had a trip coming up we would learn about where we were going. If they would ask me a question when we were driving down the road, I would hand my 11 year old my phone and I would say "Google that, let's learn about that right now, let's answer that question." Aaron: You guys did a lot of Khan Academy. Kaleena: Right. And we would play around with different curriculums and different apps and stuff that were out there. So, Khan Academy is great and it literally takes you from preschool, where you can get a masters, they take you all the way through college on Khan Academy. Every program, every class. Amazing teachers. The whole thing. Kaleena: So I'm looking at that, I'm looking at Adapted Mind. We're doing some time for learning, I'm downloading apps. I'm familiarizing myself with programs that are out there, and I'm just kind throwing them at my kids. "Hey try this, how does this work for you?" And I set up, I made this thing called the buffet of learning, where I would just set out their computers every day, and set books and activities and things, and just let them pick, what do you want to do today? What are you gonna do in your hour today? Kaleena: And we just played. I didn't put a lot of conditions on that. I wasn't trying to see a result, I just wanted to get to know how my kids learn and what they wanted to learn. Shane: I love it. Aaron: Yeah. Kaleena: And it changed everything, really. Aaron: So much of the book is trying to encourage people to find their way. Try this, then try this, try this. Your situation might look a little different than ours. Kaleena can individually tell people, break it out. But a big concept at the beginning was learning life skills, the stuff they don't really teach in school. The value of money, making good risky decisions. There's a lot of stuff out there. So when we go on the trips to Canada, converting Celsius to Fahrenheit and things like that. Aaron: So part of that mindset, too, was the shift in going, alright let's learn some life skills too. When you do go on those trips, when you go to Jamaica, things like that. There's still other, worldly things that they get to learn. So it was a lot more of a focus on learn all that stuff while she was experimenting with the book work balance. Shane: It's amazing. This sounds like, it's the flip your life blue print. It's exactly what we tell people. People always want to come into the flip your life community, and they say things like, "If I can get my idea and I can get my product and it works then I will continue," or, "If I just had the exact plan and I knew this is what I need to do to be an entrepreneur I would do it." That's big objection. Kaleena: Right. Shane: That's not how it works, that's not how business works. You have to try it and get crushed, or try it and succeed and fail. You have to go out and do. One of the things we encourage people to do is, your idea doesn't matter in the beginning, you just have to go do it to learn all the foundational stuff. And then your next idea gets better. I heard one guy say, "When you start this you're going to suck, but if you're doing it you're going to suck less, and eventually you'll suck so little that you'll actually be kind of good, and then you'll get to great. Kaleena: Yeah. Shane: That's kind of like what you're saying here. Our big thing is, the only thing we've talked about lately is what curriculum are we gonna use? What product are we gonna sign up for? Shane: That's not even the right question at all. You won't know until you try. Kaleena: That's the thing is you won't know and here's the other thing, what works for you in September, it may no longer work for you in May. It is constantly evolving and changing. You have to just be, in the same way that you're flexible with your business and you're constantly listening to the client and figuring out what the trends are setting. All the things, right? And then you're also doing the same thing with your kids, going oh this is what we're into. Kaleena: So our oldest Maddy, when we started this, was all about coding. Coding, coding, coding. Building web pages, marketing, she was so interested in it. So we found Hackingtons - it's like a hacker lab. So we would take her to classes at Hackingtons and she would learn how to code through them, and she would come home and she would do Minecraft. She would do all these different things to learn how to code and perfect that skill. Kaleena: And after three months of just passionately coding, she's done coding. She was just done. And I couldn't believe it, I was like "What? No you're gonna be a master coder, you're gonna build the best websites and the best apps. And you're gonna become a millionaire doing it. What do you mean?" And she's like, "I'm done with coding, I'm not really into it." And she started sewing. So I bought her a sewing machine and she started sewing. Kaleena: Because she was 10 and she's trying to find her way, and if we provide this environment for them then instead of finding their way at 30 or 40 or never like so many of us, we are providing this environment that maybe when she's 18 Maddy's gonna know what she masters, what she's passionate about, what she's so good at. And she's gonna be, 10, 15, 20 years ahead of all of her peers. Aaron: The old mindset was push and push and push them. Now if next month she decides she doesn't want to sew anymore, like right now if there's a hole cut in anything we go hand it to her and say, "We need you to fix this." Or her sisters say, "We need Maddy to go sew it." Kaleena: Yeah. Aaron: She's good. And Maddy's also started a bunch of little business that have been successful. She's a total entrepreneur at heart already. But the big part is, next month if she wants to do something different, instead of getting discouraged and going, "Oh she doesn't follow up with anything." It's like going, "Okay, let's see what's next." Aaron: They did TaeKwonDo for a couple years, they loved it, and all the sudden they were like, you know what I think we want to do dance or something instead? And as parents we're used to going like, "No you have to keep going." Now we try to understand and we're like, "Alright cool, let's find your passion." Aaron: Because as an entrepreneur, and as adults, if we didn't like something anymore we wouldn't do it anymore. Kaleena: Right. Kaleena: How many times have we drawn businesses, Aaron and I had seven failed business before we had a successful one. What if we had just stayed in those failing businesses instead of walking away from them and starting it new? Like you've just gotta keep throwing it at the wall. And it isn't about being lazy, and not pushing my kids for excellent. It's actually the exact opposite. It's really encouraging them to step into who they were created to be. Kaleena: I think that that's a thousand percent about the environment. They just need our support. They need us to facilitate that. It's not about doing it for them, that's the last thing you want to do. They need to - Shane: It's also not like, "Stay in your lane." There is a point where some of that's valuable, like okay I do have to push past something that's hard. Kaleena: Right. Shane: That's not the same thing as losing interest. Totally different. Kaleena: Yeah. Whenever I think that this is, "Oh I don't want to go through it because it's a challenge," or, here's the other big one, "I don't want to go through that because I'm scared and fearful of what's on the other side." Whenever I think it's fear based or challenge based, there's a little more motivation. Right? Like you just know your kids, or hopefully you know your kids. That's what- Shane: Or you will. Kaleena: Or you get to know your kids, I guess. Because I didn't. I didn't know that fear was driving my kids in so many areas. It's like learning that, learning how your kids respond to certain things and then providing the correct amount of motivation and the right environment so that they can learn. Shane: So what you're saying is, in reality, that the fear for us is - and this is a weird fear for us because literally we both have masters degrees in teaching children. Jocelyn: Yeah. Shane: Like honestly, she's elementary, I'm high school. You would think that we'd be like, "Oh we got this." Jocelyn: We got the teaching part. Shane: But the fear part, really for us is, we sit and think back to kind of where we were teachers and we were teac

Today I share how the stress I was under 7 1/2 years ago resulted in a lifelong tendon disorder. I was so busy running our household and putting everyone else first, I did not pay attention to my health. I really want you to learn from my mistake. Today's show focuses on how our stress isn't just bad for us. It's bad for our kids, too. We also dig into the stresses of "intensive" parenting (a.k.a. helicopter or lawnmower parenting). And as you'll see, that form of parenting stresses everybody out. (Know what else stresses everybody out? Potty training, and temper tantrums… During today's break I share about a free guide I offer for each of these stressors: Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child) In this episode I offer three ways for you to be less stressed, not just now as we get into the holiday season (and everyone is pretty well at the end of their rope) but about how you can be less stressed over the long haul. It's Part 3 of the "how to raise successful, fulfilled, happy people" series, and I hope it helps you enjoy the time you spend with your littles! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/253 for: A cheat sheet on the 3 ways you can alleviate stress Links to the articles I quote from today What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The video of the week: "Good behavior at meals, good behavior at the park" And thank you so much for listening!

I did a happy dance a few weeks ago when I read that American Academy of Pediatrics has revised its guidelines on spanking and corporal punishment. This 67,000-doctor organization is coming out strongly against spanking, humiliating, and frightening children as discipline. Today I'm rebroadcasting my conversation with former AAP president, Dr. Benard Dreyer. Dr. Dreyer gave such wonderful advice for parents as we raise our kids, and to my surprise it's been more than 2 years since this interview first aired! Time flies. In the preshow, before our conversation, I read from the newspaper article that had me doing my happy dance, "Spanking is harmful, ineffective, group says." Hope you enjoy this episode, and that it helps you remember to keep your discipline positive! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/252 for: The link to the article about the AAP's stance on spanking What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The video of the week: Off this week, returning after Thanksgiving And thank you so much for listening!

"What's a reasonable consequence for when I ask my young child to stop running away, and he doesn't stop, at the park?" This is the gist of a recent question from one mom in our We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. I shared what I think is a pretty good answer… and then other parents in the group shared their ideas. These ideas were so great – and so different from mine – that I knew I needed to talk about this issue on the podcast. So, hope you enjoy this episode, dedicated to helping you set limits, and enjoy more of your time, when you are at a park or playground or out in the world with your young child! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/251 for: A breakdown of how you can reign in your young child, without overdoing it or losing your mind What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The video of the week: "Good behavior at meals, good behavior at the park" The sign-up for our upcoming 'When to potty train, How to potty train' free online class And thank you so much for listening!

The term "parenting style" feels so nebulous. But what if your parenting style – what you do in day-to-day interactions with your young child – makes it harder for you to connect, to be happy as you raise your family? What if it affected, not just your young one's childhood, but their whole life? Framed like that, the parenting style we bring isn't so much nebulous, as important. Key, even. Today's episode digs into the 3 different parenting styles, how they affect your child's life, and yours. It's part two of our "raising successful, fulfilled kids" series, and I hope it's useful for you! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/250 for: A cheat sheet on these 3 parenting styles What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The video of the week: "Am I smothering my child with love?" The sign-up for our upcoming 'When to potty train, How to potty train' free online class And thank you so much for listening!

Do you sometimes feel like you are raising your family in mighty frightening times? So do I. That's why, when I learned about the thing of beauty this week's guest created to combat fear, I knew I had to bring her on the show! Mom, quilter, poet, and personal friend Cathleen Dinsmore recently created an amazing quilt-and-poem combination. The quilt is breathtaking – and, combined with the poem, fosters conversation around fear, and hope, and justice. At weturnedoutokay.com you can view Cathleen's amazing quilt, read the beautiful poem, and prepare to be inspired by the incredible impact one person can have on alleviating fear and inspiring hope. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/249 for: A look at Cathleen's racial justice quilt, her accompanying poem, and TONS of links that come up in today's conversation What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The video of the week: "Helping when Halloween scares your young child" And thank you so much for listening!

I am SO excited to bring you today's show! I have good friend and colleague, Tricia Tomaso, a veteran preschool teacher and holder of a master's degree in special education. Recently, Tricia helped me figure out the right mindset and steps parents can take while potty training – her amazing ideas come up in my Successful Potty Training Under Pressure course, in fact – and she has graciously agreed to come on the show and answer YOUR questions. So! Today we take questions on: – What to do if your child hits you, especially repeatedly – How to handle it if you are a relatively low energy parent, and your child is a high-energy kid – If you're worried that you are overinvolved with your kids – And more! Buckle in, this is a really fun and useful ride today! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/248 for: A summary of each "ask the expert" question and answer What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The video of the week: "I'm exhausted from doing too much for my kid" And thank you so much for listening!

Today's show dives into something difficult to imagine, when your kids are so young and your focus is on stuff like temper tantrums, sibling fights, and picky eaters. We can wonder, what miracle will occur, just in the next decade or so, to change my kid from being so young and helpless, to someone who can lead a successful, fulfilled, and happy life? Today, I'm beginning a deep dive into the idea of raising successful and fulfilled kids. The idea was born years ago, when friends would lament the idea of the lack of business and entrepreneurship education in K-12 school. Then several months ago it crystallized, when a friend, thinking he was motivating his child, changed his boy's internally-motivated entrepreneurial activity to one with strings attached (the boy wouldn't get his weekly allowance unless he worked on this previously for-fun, now parent mandated business activity.) Today I share how you can avoid making this mistake. Because it IS a huge mistake – and the repercussions can ripple out over your child's entire adult life. This is one we really need to get right, so listen in and find out how. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/247 for: A cheat sheet on the 4 steps outlined in his episode that you can take to avoid this mistake What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The video of the week: "Introverted parent, extroverted child" And thank you so much for listening!

Our guest today is Karen Lock Kolp, a child development expert, and parent coach. Her podcast, We Turned Out Okay, has been downloaded more than 300,000 times by parents who just want to know that, really, everything is going to be alright. Jonathan and Karen talk about her upbringing and the role her father played in her life. They also talk about modern parenting and how we adopt some of the traits of our parents while simultaneously learning to trust our own instincts. Karen opens up about a difficult childhood memory, her own chronic illness, and how almost losing her father helped bring even more perspective to her life. Links: Karen's podcast, We Turned Out Okay Karen's YouTube Channel Karen's Twitter, @weturnedoutokay Karen's Instagram, @weturnoutokay We Turned Okay on Facebook  

Diane Hessan always knew she wanted to work full-time, while raising her daughters. Today she shares what that was really like, and how her life's work prepared her to fulfill a super important role in today's frightening and demoralizing political climate. Nowadays, Diane speaks daily with 500 American voters. These are people from every area of the country, every walk of life, every creed, every color. And as she connects with them Diane is learning important lessons that she takes into her own life. Listen to our conversation today to discover what these lessons are, so you can enjoy your life, and be helpful to those around you at the same time! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/246 for: Links that come up in our conversation today What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : ) The 3 most important things to remember from today's conversation And thank you so much for listening!

Today is the start of a new series here at We Turned Out okay! It's all about taming the chaotic and crazy weeknights that so many of us experience in raising kids. We start by investigating: WHY are weeknights so tough? For us parents, evenings – especially weeknights – are a constant slog. I want to make this series tailored exactly to your needs, and in order to do that I need you to respond to the poll I've got going on this very topic! Go to the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page to take the poll (the link is just below)… Or if you are in the We Turned Out Okay email group, the poll has already landed in your inbox, and hopefully you've already written me back. Thank you so much for helping me make this series into exactly what will help you most!   All The Links I'm making it easy on you to access all the links I talk about in today's episode: Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page, where you can take the poll (and also catch the Magic Words for Parents video I do live each Monday at 10 AM EST : ) Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp YouTube channel, featuring a playlist of Magic Words for Parents, including this week's which shares a phrase for when your child loses a special comfort object, like a blanky or stuffed animal. Click here for EXTRA Magic Words for Parents, exclusive access to my patron-only feed, advanced chapters of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1, and other great stuff which goes way beyond what regular listeners get… Find all these awesome and exclusive extras at Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay! I teach these great things called Parent-Ninja Tactics, which are THE key to happy parenting, and they're only available in the Ninja Parenting Community. I would love to teach you these and help you truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids! Join the Ninja Parenting Community by going to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC. Click here to sign up for my FREE checklist and video on How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum so that you can calmly, confidently handle your child's very next one! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/232 for every back episode of the podcast, and to read more about the top three reasons why weeknights are so challenging… And thank you so much for listening!

Today we're talking about safety – just simple safety. I've got three unconventional ways to help you ensure that your child is safe, in a variety of situations and from the time that they are very small… For notes on the three ways I share this episode to keep your child safe, and also for every podcast back episode, Go to weturnedoutokay.com/231 And for podcast extras you will LOVE go to patreon.com/weturnedoutokay... Thank you so much for listening!  How to share about today's show As always, thank you for sharing about We Turned Out Okay! Today's is the kind of show where somebody might get upset when you say "oh – YOU will get so much benefit," because nobody wants to think that they wouldn't keep their kids safe. So if you know someone who is notorious for letting their kids run around unattended, or for yelling all the time, here's how to share it: Post it on a public page, like your Facebook page, and say something like "I got such benefit from this episode of We Turned Out Okay," instead of singling somebody else out. And thank you so much for sharing! That is how our show has grown and grown : )

Special thanks to: Nancy, Diane, Ben, and Max, each of whom became patrons of the show in Patreon this week! They're getting helpful stuff like access to my Patron-only feed, Extra Magic Words for Parents videos, and early access to chapters of parenting books I'm working on right now - plus I'm saying thanks to them in today's episode! Get GREAT extras and a shout-out in next week's We Turned Out Okay episode! Go to: Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay  Speaking of books! This week I'm sharing about four helpful ones for you as you raise your kids. Next week I'm announcing what my next book will be, so stay tuned :)  Four must-reads for anyone raising children… But only one of them is considered a "parenting" book. These books are game-changers, helping you power through the tough parts of life, frame your day-to-day living differently, and feel happy inside! For links to each book as well as to sign up for my upcoming 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting free, live, online class, go to weturnedoutokay.com/228. Thank you so much for listening, I know you'll get a lot from these Fabulous Four!

For a long time, the podcast was the tool. Then I wrote Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics – and we had 2 tools. And now, a little more than three years in, we've got a multitude of tools for parenting and happy family time... Today's episode is a discussion of some of the best tools, a description of how parents are changing their families' lives by utilizing these tools, and a roadmap so that you know where to find the exact We Turned Out Okay tools you need! This episode came up because, at the beginning of 2018, a new listener to We Turned Out Okay got in touch with me, and she shared that she had a bad experience listening to the show: to her, listening felt as if I'd taken her to a party where I knew everyone - and she knew no one. I really took that critique to heart. I've been working ever since to be sure that everything I do makes you, the listener, feel welcomed and included, and that's how we ended up where we are. The tools I talk about in this episode: Click here for the podcast page of weturnedoutokay.com Click here for the We Turned out Okay Facebook group… And click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page Click here for my YouTube channel, where you'll find the Magic Words for Parents playlist Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Patreon page where you'll find Extra Magic Words for Parents, access to my patron-only feed, and where you'll be able to read my parenting books long before they are published! Lots of great tools in Patreon : ) Click here for the Ninja Parenting Community, where you'll have access to all of my best parenting tools Thank you for listening! Please share this episode if you know a parent who needs some good tools!

A lot of what I teach is helping parents understand their children as people. The best way to be happy in your parenting is to recognize that your child is a person and to respect them and expect that respect in return. -Karen Lock Kolp   In Episode 38, I have a fun chat with Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. of the We Turned Out Okay website and podcast. Karen is an early childhood development expert and parent coach. On her website and podcast, Karen helps worried and hovering parents by bring reassuring, helpful advice and conversations. In this episode, we talked about many things, including: • The similarities between parenting toddlers and teens (and how much we both like teenagers). • How some kids need "a longer runway." • Calming down your family's evening routine Links We Turned out Okay (Karen Lock Kolp's Website) Download Karen's "Calming the Weeknight Chaos" Helping Your Fearful Kid Try New Things I was also guest on Karen's We Turned Out Okay Podcast! Our topic was Give Your Child the Magic of Summer Camp! We had so much fun chatting in both of our podcasts and plan to record more episodes in the future!

To us grown-ups, summer can mean headaches caused by heat and humidity, too much time spent in air-conditioning, and unwelcome changes in routine. Also, the endless application of sunscreen on our littles. But to kids, just being outside can be a revelation. There's birdsong, and water, and dirt… Summer is a great time for reconnecting with your child, for truly listening to him or her - for deep, true bonding with this little person you are bringing up. Does that seem daunting? If you're not sure how to begin, listen to this episode of We Turned Out Okay! Today, I am excited to interview Sunshine Parenting podcast host Audrey Monke, who has directed a summer camp for more than 30 years. In that time Audrey has seen it all: extreme homesickness, parental worries, and, again and again, the life-changing magic of summertime. We tap into her knowledge of how to make summer great, as Audrey shares THE 3 most important things you can do this summer to capture that magic, to truly enjoy the time you spend with your young child. For TONS of amazing links that come up in today's conversation, as well as to join our We Turned Out Okay private Facebook group (I've got a big announcement in today's episode about something new happening in the group!)… Go to weturnedoutokay.com/224. Thanks for listening!

As you probably did, I got spanked as a kid. But, probably unlike you, I became an early childhood educator and lesson one was "we never, EVER spank a child." Still, it's tempting, especially if it means stopping a behavior that you cannot stand for one more minute. So, is it ever okay to spank your child? Do you ever do it? Today – on We Turned Out Okay's THIRD birthday! – we dig into why parents spank kids, the lessons a child learns from being spanked, and what other options we parents have. WHY Parents Spank Kids Not surprisingly, spanking doesn't happen when your child's behavior is smooth and easy. It's when they balk at what you are telling them to do. When they drag their feet, whine, nag at a sibling until that sibling retaliates. Spankings happen when we feel that we have been pushed to the absolute brink – when we feel like we have got no other choice. Take a listen to this episode if you've ever felt like that, especially if you're not quite sure that spanking is what you should be doing, but you don't see any other option. For notes to today's episode, including: - A 3-step method you can follow to discipline without spanking - The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I've learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life – Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay Go to weturnedoutokay.com/223. Thank you so much for listening!

If we're being honest, who among us has NOT bribed a kid? (Listen to this episode to hear about how we potty trained our youngest… using entire donuts as bribes.) But is there a better way? Something we could do to change our child's behavior from bad to good? Something that would stop us feeling like we're being emotionally blackmailed by our kids? Listen to today's episode to understand exactly WHY we parents resort to bribery – when it's most likely to happen – and for 3 things we can do instead! Read more about bribery… Find every back episode of the We Turned Out Okay podcast… Sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class… All at weturnedoutokay.com/220. Happy listening!

Working with parents of young children, one phrase comes up again and again – one really dangerous phrase. It's dangerous because it perpetuates bad behavior from our kids, which none of us want… Yet, it is really hard not to use it. You probably use this phrase yourself; I know I have. Today I share: – Exactly what the two most dangerous words in a parent's vocabulary are – Why these words get used so often – What you can say instead for good behavior from your child Today's episode helps you get past the bad behavior so you can fulfill your ultimate goal of truly enjoying family time! Read more about these two dangerous words and what to say instead… Find every back episode of the We Turned Out Okay podcast… Sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class… All at weturnedoutokay.com/219. Happy listening!

Every January since We Turned Out Okay began, I've shared my goals for the coming year. Not resolutions… which feel to me a little more arbitrary and easier to pull out of… but Goals. And this year is no exception! Somehow the idea of glass balls and rubber balls (one of which breaks when dropped, and the other of which bounces) felt really important to share with you, probably because I'm returning from major burnout and got it because I dropped a glass ball, my "health" ball. So listen in to find out more about glass/rubber balls, the goals I've set and why I set them, and what this year's One Word is! Notes and links at weturnedoutokay.com/207!

Today's guest knows that we live in a time where everything around us – the challenges, the technology, changing culture – can seem both terrifying and awesome. Former psychotherapist and current creativity coach Mark McGuinness teaches how to embrace the awesome, and mitigate the terrifying with his podcast, 21st Century Creative, and today he brings wonderful ideas for you to enjoy more of your parenting in this turbulent time. Mark also brings something new to We Turned Out Okay: a guest-challenge! An expert at helping people find time to accomplish their goals, Mark drops the gauntlet, setting YOU a challenge in this episode. Completing Mark's challenge not only can help you find time in your life for the things you love, but might just when you a copy of his book, Productivity for Creative People… Three copies of which Mark has graciously offered three lucky WTOO listeners. Listen to find out what the challenge is, and how to enter the giveaway – which ends Tuesday, October 17, 2017! To take up the challenge: sometime on or before October 17, 2017, go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact and tell me how you did with Mark's challenge… More key links in the show notes at weturnedoutokay.com/188!

Back when We Turned Out Okay turned 2, I asked you all for a gift: your questions! Today I'm answering one of those questions, listener Caroline's about how to deal with medical issues in your child, and expanding out from "medical" advocacy by sharing, in the second half of today's episode, about how to advocate in other aspects of your child's life. I am so happy to bring back medical ethicist Dr. Art Caplan to address Caroline's question, "Could you possibly give some advice about dealing with stressful situations in general and medical stuff, i.e. advocating for your child?" Art outlines four key steps that parents can take when confronted with a child's illness, and in looking back I realized that those same steps would be wonderful when trying to advocate for kids in a variety of situations, socially, educationally, in addition to medically. For an outline of these four steps to advocating for your child and related key links, go to weturnedoutokay.com/182! Also – to download my free Guide to Happy Readers click here… Click here to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, coming up October 2nd-6!

This is Episode #46 of the STANDOUT podcast, where I invite you to listen in on a strategy session with one of the members of my PR Pro Membership Community. Karen Lock Kolp is an early childhood expert, a mom, and the creator of the podcast, We Turned Out Okay. She is also one of the founding members of my PR Pro online community - and I'm so thrilled to see how much she has done in our time together. Since she's been in the community, she's been featured in major publications, on other podcasts and on TV. Her podcast attracts an audience of highly-engaged parents. Karen faces the same problem we all do. We see the buffet of options all around us. We can do Facebook Live, we can blog, podcast and speak on stage. We can starting pinning on Pinterest or begin to grow a following on Twitter. But which one is the most effective way to attract an audience and grow a business? You may be surprised by what I tell her. Karen has done a great job in growing an audience. It's frustrating, though, when sales aren't a direct result. Listen as I share with Karen strategies she can use to focus her time and her energy on the piece she loves - the podcast - and then, create something that resonates with her audience - something they can't wait to get their hands on. If you're looking for specific solutions to your messaging and media outreach, you can learn more about the program that Karen is a part of, the PR Pro membership community here. Here's what you'll learn in this episode: *How Karen turned to podcasting to create an audience and a community *How to avoid content creation overwhelm *How to listen to your clients *How to validate an offer Here are links mentioned in the episode: *Karen Lock Kolp's podcast, We Turned Out Okay *Karen Lock Kolp on Twitter *Karen Lock Kolp and We Turned Out Okay on Facebook *Cheryl Tan's Video Visibility Bootcamp Did you enjoy the show? Please subscribe to the STANDOUT with Cheryl Tan podcast on iTunes here.

This is Episode #46 of the STANDOUT podcast, where I invite you to listen in on a strategy session with one of the members of my PR Pro Membership Community. Karen Lock Kolp is an early childhood expert, a mom, and the creator of the podcast, We Turned Out Okay. She is also one of the founding members of my PR Pro online community - and I’m so thrilled to see how much she has done in our time together. Since she’s been in the community, she’s been featured in major publications, on other podcasts and on TV. Her podcast attracts an audience of highly-engaged parents. Karen faces the same problem we all do. We see the buffet of options all around us. We can do Facebook Live, we can blog, podcast and speak on stage. We can starting pinning on Pinterest or begin to grow a following on Twitter. But which one is the most effective way to attract an audience and grow a business? You may be surprised by what I tell her. Karen has done a great job in growing an audience. It's frustrating, though, when sales aren't a direct result. Listen as I share with Karen strategies she can use to focus her time and her energy on the piece she loves - the podcast - and then, create something that resonates with her audience - something they can’t wait to get their hands on. If you’re looking for specific solutions to your messaging and media outreach, you can learn more about the program that Karen is a part of, the PR Pro membership community here. Here's what you'll learn in this episode: *How Karen turned to podcasting to create an audience and a community *How to avoid content creation overwhelm *How to listen to your clients *How to validate an offer Here are links mentioned in the episode: *Karen Lock Kolp's podcast, We Turned Out Okay *Karen Lock Kolp on Twitter *Karen Lock Kolp and We Turned Out Okay on Facebook *Cheryl Tan's Video Visibility Bootcamp Did you enjoy the show? Please subscribe to the STANDOUT with Cheryl Tan podcast on iTunes here.

"My wife doesn't want me to spank them, I get it – I don't want to either but what else can I do?" These words come from a listener's email, a desperate plea to figure out how to discipline kids and keep order during the daily grind. This listener goes on to say "I got spanked, and turned out okay… I got more than spanked to tell you the truth, and I know what the constant barrage of words being screamed at me feels like. To be honest, I'd rather have had the spanking." This listener deftly identifies two things that do not work with kids: 1) a "constant barrage of words" 2) spanking. So, what do you do instead? Listen to this episode to find out! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/177 for key links, and Click here to sign up for the Streamline Your Mornings challenge, if school days are looming and those weekday mornings are looking frightening. This FREE challenge starts in just a few weeks, and once it starts the sign-ups are closed. So to make sure that you get an email every day of the challenge, entry into our We Turned Out Okay private Facebook group, and access to the Facebook live back-to-school Ask Me Anything I'll be doing on the last day of the challenge (September 8), jump in now.

Back in the early 90s, when I was a preschool teacher, I worked with two 4-year-old best friends, "Stacy," who had lovely chocolate brown skin and eyes, and "Kim," who had blonde hair and blue eyes. One day, as these two best buddies waited together in line for the bathroom, Kim innocently looked up at me and said: "I don't like black people." I was speechless – she's holding the hand of her best friend, who IS a black person, telling me how she doesn't like black people… It just did not compute. Until I realized that she did not think of Stacy as a black person; Stacy was her best friend. She did not know who "black people" were. When she said those words she was parroting the adults in her life. Metaphorically, I threw up my hands. I felt terrible, but I just did not know what to do. Should I talk to Kim's parents? Should I talk to Stacy's parents? Should I try to persuade Kim that she shouldn't feel that way about black people? In the end I did nothing, I said nothing. While I spoke of this with my fellow preschool teachers, I never took it any further than that. But it stayed with me all these years (Kim and Stacy are now in their 20s.) Maybe you watched just a few days ago with horror as a white supremacists plowed his car into a peaceful protest, killing one and injuring many – and terrifying all. Maybe you wondered what kind of a world you're raising a child in. Maybe you threw up your hands and said "what can I possibly do about this?" If so, then this bonus episode is for you. I just finished recording. I couldn't stop thinking about Kim and Stacy, and also a song from an old musical, South Pacific: You've got to be taught before it's too late/ Before you are six or seven or eight/ To hate all the people your relatives hate/ You've got to be carefully taught! I was thinking about you, and about how you maybe feel like throwing up your hands and shouting "what can I possibly do about this?" And I was thinking about Stacy, wondering how many times in her twenty-something years she's gotten the message from our society that somehow, just because of the way she looks, she is wrong, or bad, or "other." And, I was thinking about a We Turned Out Okay listener, named Kerri, who wrote back in May (when We Turned out Okay turned two) with a question: "I would like to know as a white person what I need to do to be sure my children are not contributing to the racism that is hurting so many." I recorded this episode to give us – myself, as much as anyone – a roadmap, some steps to take to build a world in which racism has no part. Four steps, to be exact; four steps we can take to build a world without racism. Four steps to help you counter the fear and negativity, four steps to help you help your child understand what racism is, and why it needs to die. Along the way I talk about a whole bunch of stuff, like a favorite Dr. Seuss book, wise words from several friends of the podcast, and child development theory to help you understand your child better. Click here to read about the four steps to a world without racism and to get links to the people and podcasts and books I reference during the episode – and thank you very much for listening, for not throwing up your hands and concluding there's nothing you can do. Because as the parent of a young child, the key to ending racism is in your hands.

Karen Lock Kolp lost the ability to move her arms and hands for a time. Not able to cook or do laundry, she found something she could do. Talk. And that's how the "We Turned Out Okay" podcast came into being. Listen in on this episode of Women Inspired TV, to Karen's ninja techniques for Positive Parenting from her podcast, parenting community forum and her new book. Full show notes

Normally, in a We Turned Out Okay guest episode, it's me doing the interviewing… but today that format gets turned on its head! Recently the gentleman behind the Blessing Not Stressing podcast, Rob Broadhead, invited me onto his show. He's such a great interviewer and the idea behind the show is such a lovely one that of course I said "yes please" – and as we spoke I knew I wanted you to be able to listen in as well. Rob splits his conversations into several episodes; on this WTOO episode today we're bringing you the middle two, "School of Hard Knocks" and "Mistakes and Forgiveness." Go to weturnedoutokay.com/164 for links to both the first and final portions of my conversation with Rob. I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed participating in it!

Each week I send out a "what's on the podcast this week" email to people who signed up for a free guide or a free online class – and this week, I screwed up royally about an episode of We Turned Out Okay! I wrote the email update for this past week well before I recorded the episode that went up this past Thursday, and as a result what I said would be this week's Your Child Explained episode wasn't. If you received the email and you were scratching your head about it, I'm so sorry! I recorded this bonus episode to make it up to you… In it, I answer two issues, both brought up by a member of the Ninja Parenting Community (it had been a pretty rough couple of weeks for this member, making me so glad she had us to turn to): 1) "Part of the challenge I'm having is with exaggerated statements like "writing kills me" or "you always make me do this." 2) "Later there was a meltdown about wanting Daddy, instead of Mommy." I address both issues in this bonus episode, I hope it's helpful! PS – Want to get on my email list yourself? Go to weturnedoutokay.com and click the image link in the sidebar (you'll know which one : ) PS again – head over to https://weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login/ to see how you could become a member of the Ninja Parenting Community.

Today, Ashley Milne-Tyte of The Broad Experience podcast returns to We Turned Out Okay, and our conversation goes in a direction I hadn't anticipated: how women can take on too much, become overwhelmed, and end up unhappy and possibly even ill. Because Ashley's podcast focuses on "women in the workplace," our conversation starts out with the focus on women and moms. But somewhere in here, we stop talking just about women – and start talking about parents. Parental guilt is a thing, and not just among the moms! Today's episode is big-picture, and Ashley shares a tremendous weapon that we all have in our possession, something that helps us alleviate parental guilt and make our lives, and our children's, better. I hope you enjoy our conversation! For show notes, key links, and to sign up for tomorrow's NPC FAQ Q&A – where you get your questions answered about the Ninja Parenting Community and you also get a FREE copy of my book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics – go to weturnedoutokay.com/155!

Back in episode 140, parenting author KJ Dell'Antonia gave us many more great ideas than could be digested in one conversation… So for the first time in We Turned Out Okay history she's got 3 Your Child Explained episodes all to herself! In our conversation KJ commented: "after a month we get tired of nagging, "… it's easier just to load this dishwasher myself…" and then we do - and then we're back to square one." Today: the one thing you can do in your parenting that makes everything else either easier or unnecessary! (Can you tell I've been reading The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan?) Click weturnedoutokay.com/147 to to listen, to sign up for tonight's (Thursday, March 30, 2017, 8 PM EST) live, free NPC FAQ Q&A (at which you can grab a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my e-book that helps you handle everything your little kids can throw at you) AND to sign up for the free, live Common Parenting Challenges class coming up in April!

Lots of things can happen over the course of a day to make us all feel anxious…How does your child handle anxiety?  Today licensed mental health counselor, play expert, and mom-to-2 Janine Halloran gives us some wonderful – and very specific – tools to help our kids handle stress. True to the nature of We Turned Out Okay, my hour-long conversation with Janine covers lots more than this! Janine and her family are spending the year in California, clear across the country from their home in Massachusetts; we talk about how and why the Hallorans took on this move. We also dig into the concept of fidgets, devices to help people concentrate better – and this podcaster realizes that fidgets are more of a thing – in her own life – then she realized. To read about Janine's stress-busting advice, get links to some great books about play and her websites on encouraging play and teaching children coping skills, and to listen to the show click weturnedoutokay.com/137!

Remember a few weeks ago, when I got emotional about talking to myself in the mirror every night? (Listen to that episode, We Turned Out Okay's second annual goal-setting episode, by clicking here.)   If you struggle with self-acceptance and self-forgiveness – and if you also want to be a better example for your child – click this link to listen to today's episode! You can read the full text of listener Eri's question about how her struggle with self-acceptance could negatively impact her 14-month-old daughter – as well as watch my new favorite YouTube video in which a preschool-age girl stands on her bathroom vanity and cheerfully shouts affirmations for herself in the mirror – and sign up for tonight's live FAQ about the Ninja Parenting Community by clicking this link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/135

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year. My guest today, Gift of Failure author Jessica Lahey, has helped me in so many ways: to be a better mom, to forgive myself when I screw up, to take the long view on mistakes, thinking not so much about epic fails but instead asking myself "how do I learn from this?" (Jess is also 1/2 of the #amwriting with Jess and KJ duo; click here to check out one of my favorite podcasts, and great if you have any interest in writing or creating!) I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in! Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community: If you like what you hear on We Turned Out Okay, but you feel like it's not quite enough… If you want more personal help and advice from me… The Ninja Parenting Community is the place for you to get that help! – We've got classes, like Sanity With Kids, to help you simultaneously raise your children and retain your sanity – Parent-Coaching calls: one "starter" call for monthly members and one each quarter for annual members – Forums where I personally help and advise members – and where we all support each other Now is the perfect time to join, because you get beta pricing and it's really built out to help you most. This coming Friday the cost will double when we leave beta, so click this link to see what it's all about! Want a closer look PLUS a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you? Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A! This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can: – look inside the community – listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions – ask your questions! And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : ) To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/134!

Just about a year ago, on the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, co-host Shane Sams asked me if what I do here at We Turned Out Okay is to teach people how to combat their kids' "evil Jedi mind tricks" – which I thought was such a great definition! In the last few weeks my family and I saw and loved Rogue 1, and also mourned the loss of Carrie Fisher; it seems fitting to talk about all that with you today, sharing two great ways to combat your child's Jedi mind tricks. Want a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you? Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A! This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can: – look inside the Ninja Parenting Community – listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions – ask your questions! And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : ) To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/133!

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year. Today's guest, along with his wife and children, have been special people in my family's life ever since we had the excellent luck of moving in across the street from them more than a decade ago. We've watched Steve Mirando and his wife Sue support each other through a lot – having children, figuring out work-life challenges, Steve's going to full-time school for acupuncture and then hanging out his shingle as a practicing acupuncturist… many of these all happening at the same time! I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in! Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community: Are you raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed? Could you use some accountability and support? Join us inside our membership community to get access to: – courses, like the one I just finished up, called Sanity With Kids, helping you stay sane while simultaneously raising children – live, members-only calls – direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges – the support of a community where were all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising kids! We leave beta very soon, because the community is really built out now with course offerings and great forums, so get in before the price goes up! Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to get all the details – And for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/131!

I've been a huge fan of Jonathan Fields' Good Life Project podcast for over a year now; the guests, subject matter, and message have been instrumental in my life and We Turned Out Okay. So, when Jonathan accepted my invitation to come on my show, I did a happy dance! (I was already doing one anyway… Jonathan's book, How to Live A Good Life, came out right around the time of our conversation : ) If you're trying to figure out how to survive these next weeks – if you're feeling overwhelmed, and not as joyful as the season suggests you should – you are going to love the show. Also - are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting? Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you! We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better. Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/125 for show notes and key links!

On November 4 of this year, we heard our very first Christmas commercial, prompting my youngest and I to freak out a little bit. I mean, November 4! We're still eating Halloween candy on November 4, we're not ready to even think about Thanksgiving, never mind the crazy end-of-the-year extravaganza the holiday season is nowadays. So my question is: how are you feeling? Are you stressed out about the holidays? If so, you're going to love these next weeks of We Turned Out Okay. We've got conversations coming up with guests who share practical advice for feeling better right now, and the 3-part Holiday Survival guide to give you the support and solace you need to bring your family through this season with smiles on all your faces. Today: I share an embarrassing story, because I want you to learn from my greedy mistake that experiences matter lots more than stuff. It's so easy to forget that at this time of year. Click weturnedoutokay.com/121 for show notes and key links, and enjoy the show!

How lucky that episode 100 landed during Summer Camp, creating the perfect moment for a conversation with the man behind the great sound of this podcast, my husband and Max and Jay's dad, Benjamin Kolp. We geek out over sound technology, the origins of We Turned Out Okay, and best of all Ben shares many awesome tips on fishing with kids for you guys! This is a man who really, really loves fishing. Ben shares two scenarios regarding your children, you, and fishing: 1) you love to fish, and want to give your young kids that same love; or 2) the thought of worms and fishhooks makes you are really squeamish, but your young child desperately wants to learn how to fish. Which heading do you come under? Read detailed notes about Ben's tips and listen to this episode at weturnedoutokay.com/100!

Have you ever found a podcast that resonates with you really deeply? If so, maybe it's Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields! (If not, get in touch with me at weturnedoutokay.com/contact, and share – I'd love to hear what yours is, and why.) Before we head out on our podcast field trip, I want to update you all on the Ninja Parenting Community… as i record this episode, I'm still working to fix the tiny technical issue that has held up the community's opening – but by the time this airs, the glitch may be worked out… Hopefully… Fingers crossed! But whether it's open yet or not, it will be open soon, and it's a really great community to belong to if you're worrying about any aspect of parenting your young kids: If they're having trouble in daycare or you're worried about that looming first day of school; If you need help balancing work, family, and taking care of you; If you're finding yourself in need of more support than We Turned Out Okay alone can give; I hope you'll check it out – go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to learn more! And now, it's time to board the big yellow field trip bus that has pulled into our summer camp parking lot, heading out to one of my very favorite podcasts. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/093 to grab the links and come on the field trip!

Today we get kinda serious on our podcast field trip, but in the best way, as we visit The Broad Experience! It's "the show about women and the workplace," as host Ashley Milne-Tyte often says, and is relevant not just to every woman, but to every man who has a mother, a significant other, a female coworker, or a daughter in his life. First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means: – a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay – the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period. – a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community! – I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch, so you definitely want to jump into my email group! Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens. Last summer I had the pleasure of interviewing Ashley, and I loved our conversation so much that I featured it again this spring! To hear our conversation, go to weturnedoutokay.com/069. For links to the specific Broad Experience episodes I talk about in today's We Turned Out Okay – and also for the link to my friend Geoff Woods's podcast, called The Mentee (and whom I speak about today because he and his wife gave me a lovely endorsement for my book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics) – go to weturnedoutokay.com/091. Key Links: Get on the bus and come to this week's Podcast Field Trip! – For Ashley's conversation about work and intimacy with guest Evelyn Resh, click: here – thebroadexperience.com/listen/2016/6/17/episode-86-work-and-intimacy-part-1 – for part one; here – thebroadexperience.com/listen/2016/6/24/episode-87-work-and-intimacy-part-2 – for part two; and here – thebroadexperience.com/listen/2013/5/24/episode-19-women-work-and-sex.html – for Ashley and Evelyn's first conversation back in 2013 Find out more about Geoff and his journey from employee to entrepreneur by going to menteepodcast.com.

Do you, like me, worry about your son or daughter drowning during a day at the pool or the beach? When my two boys were small, I was given some great advice about keeping them safe while swimming, and that's what today's Summer Camp Episode is all about. First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means: – a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay – the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period. – a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community! – I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch, so you definitely want to jump into my email group! Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/090 to read all about the key steps to helping your kid learn to swim, and to listen to the episode!

t's completely silly, the expletives fly superfast, it's raunchy, and it's about an imaginary world: it's The Adventure Zone, and if you haven't heard this podcast yet, you need to listen! Three comedian-brothers, Griffin, Travis, and Justin McElroy, along with their dad Clint have created an amazing world in these eighteen months or so that they've recorded as the four of them sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. I think I love it so much because the characters that the McElroys have created are awesome and lovable. Also because, as they play, the story unfolds; main characters Magnus, Taako, and Merle have no more idea of what's coming than we do. The way the way these characters react to the world and circumstances that dungeon master Griffin is creating makes the show amazing and hilarious. First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means: – a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay – the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period. – a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community! – I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch, so you definitely want to jump into my email group! Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens. Now, go to weturnedoutokay.com/089 for links to my three favorite episodes of The Adventure Zone!

Did you love arts & crafts at camp, or hate it? I was a mixture of both – some projects I loved, and some I loathed, and as I think about those projects, I realize that I disliked the micromanaged, do-it-the-instructor's-way-or-else projects the most. I always loved the open-ended stuff best. Also, big projects were really fun, as were those that got you super-messy. For today's summer camp arts & crafts show, I'm sharing my all-time favorite project to do with little kids: painting a giant mural just as Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling! First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means: – a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay – the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period. – a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community! – I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch, so you definitely want to jump into my email group! Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens. To listen and to learn how to do today's unusual and very fun arts & crafts project, go to weturnedoutokay.com/088.

Welcome to the first Thursday summer camp episode of We Turned Out Okay, where every Tuesday will be about fun stuff to do with our kids, and every Thursday will be about fun stuff to do for ourselves! Today, the big yellow bus has pulled into the parking lot of our summer camp, and the doors are open, ready to take us to check out the stars with Neil DeGrasse Tyson of Star Talk Radio. Click here  or go to weturnedoutokay.com/087 for the links to today's field trip!

Happy summer! Here at We Turned Out Okay, we're changing the format up, making each Tuesday about something fun to do with your kids – and each Thursday something fun to do for yourself. Today, for our very first Summer Camp episode, we are taking some bugs on a field trip! If your child is frightened of creepy-crawlies, today's summer camp activity could really help him or her get past that. And for everybody else, it is just plain fun :-) Also, I'm excited to announce that the Ninja Parenting Community is open in beta! If you're feeling overwhelmed by the many tough aspects of raising a young child, I hope you'll check it out – Click here to read more about it. Enjoy the show!

Today Robin Abrahams, author of the weekly Miss Conduct advice column in Boston Globe Magazine, returns for her second hangout on We Turned Out Okay! (Robin and I first spoke last fall, in episode 42, so click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/042 to hear our first conversation together.) In honor of Mother's Day Robin has a special article coming out in this Sunday's Globe Magazine, "A letter to moms from a woman without children;" in it she makes some very kind and wonderful promises to her friends with kids, such as "I will take the lead in scheduling social events, because you're managing more social calendars than I am." We start today's conversation talking about Robin's article – and then move on to her delightful book, Miss Conduct's Mind over Manners: Master the Slippery Rules of Modern Ethics and Etiquette. In this guidebook for modern living – for getting along with other humans – is a tiny, wonderful few pages about breast-feeding in public; Robin and I talk about the perils of both breast-feeding and formula feeding in public, since both leave parents equally open to beratings from strangers! Robin shares great advice with us about how to deflect criticism, from strangers and friends and family. Next, Robin answers some listener questions: Anne asks "I'm considering homeschooling my preschooler next year, and I'm getting major pushback from my husband's family. (My husband is on board, just not his parents and siblings.) They live nearby and we do see his parents a lot, how can I keep family relations positive in the event that we homeschool their grandson in the fall?" MJ, who is planning a family trip involving traveling in the same car with her estranged mother-in-law for ten days, asks "please help me with easy situation diffusers and ways I may not have thought about to keep this trip as conflict free as possible…" I wonder "what happens if you're at the playground and a parent scolds your child – for doing something perfectly within his rights, in your opinion?", a situation which I found myself in a few years ago. Robin shares great advice for each of these situations, so you're sure of some great takeaways from our conversation! Today's show is sponsored by Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child, the book I wrote for you if you are the parent of young children! It's getting some great reviews, including this one from Heidi de los Andes: "I really enjoyed this quick, clear and caring parenting book. Just like the author advocates in dealing with children, she couches her advice from a position of empathy. The book draws from the same general philosophy of instilling self-reliance as the Free Range Kids book by Lenore Skenazy… I also appreciated that it was a quick read (about an hour) and had lots of tricks and techniques you can start using right away." It's available as an E-book in Amazon right now… To check out Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics click here or go to Amazon.com and search the name. I hope it helps you in your everyday parenting!

Back in episode 68, we started this conversation about helping your child take one hundred percent responsibility for his actions. In that episode we talked largely about mindset, and how our mindset influences our kids' behavior; I also shared my first parent ninja tactic in raising an honest, responsible child:Consistency. Today I return to this first tactic, sharing about the brick foundation each of us carries around in our heads, the result of the many interactions we had going back to the day we were born. The more of these bricks that are laid straight and smooth, mortared with love, the better foundation we have as we grow. Keeping our actions consistent in dealing with our kids helps their foundations be the best they can be. Today I introduce the second and third tactics involved in raising responsible children:Following through – when you ask them to do something and they fail to do that, what actions do you take next? Or when they hurt the feelings of you or someone else, what can you say to help them learn to stop doing that?Expectations – what we expect of our kids shapes their behavior. If we expect them to be manipulative, or sneaky; if we are suspicious of their actions, they will rise to those expectations.On the other hand if we expect honesty and use consistency and follow-through to insist on our children's responsibility, they will turn out that way simply because we expect it. (I know – it does sound very woo-woo! But it's really true. Honest.) During this episode I have a difficult time coming up with something mean that a child might say – precisely because Ben and I have always had the expectation "in our home, we share feelings, not insults" and Max and Jay have completely fulfilled our expectations! They disagree, of course; but they do not mistreat each other in their disagreements.That's what happens when you combine consistency, follow-through, and expectations in raising honest, responsible kids :-)I hope you enjoy this episode! If you're listening to this the day comes out – Tuesday, April 26, 2016 – you are in luck because Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics (if all has gone well) is live in Amazon and still FREE today! I wrote this book for you, if you want to raise good kids while preserving your sanity as a parent. It's a whole toolbox of the most popular, most-downloaded episodes of We Turned Out Okay; these episodes get so many listens because they help you through the tough moments. With chapters that help you, for example, Make No Sound Like Yes. I hope this book helps you worry less and enjoy more with your young kids!

Today, we wrap up our month of food here at We Turned Out Okay with a show on the mindset of getting our kids to eat! If you have been loving the food/family focus this past month here at We Turned Out Okay, but didn't have a chance to take notes, I have great news – I made you a FREE, two-page Food and Family infographic! It combines key takeaways from this month, favorite recipes, and grab-and-go snack ideas so that you can have all that information in one place. Best of all, when you print it out and put it up on the refrigerator, babysitters, grandparents, and older siblings will all have an idea of what to do when you're not home and your little one is hungry Go to weturnedoutokay.com/foodandfamily – see how well you do on my one-question food quiz – and sign up for the We Turned Out Okay Guide to Food and Family. (Note – if you're reading this in iTunes but the link is not clickable, tap on the three dots to the right of this episode's title to bring up a menu; choose View Full Description from that menu, and the link will be clickable :-) During part one of How to Get Your Kids to Eat – back on March 1 – I shared about how I helped my picky eater become more adventurous (and my part in creating that picky eater in the first place). If you have picky eaters and you're trying to get them to eat something, take a listen by clicking here or going to weturnedoutokay.com/059. For today's show, I've come up with three key aspects of the mindset you need when thinking about kids and food. Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/065 for notes from today's episode!

Today, in this Your Child Explained episode, where we always get into the mind of our kids' heads, we're looking at exposure to new foods from the perspective of our kids. March has been – and continues to be – all about food here at We Turned Out Okay, and today's episode pertains to two interviews from this month: my conversation with mom and author of The Lost Art of Feeding Kids Jeannie Marshall in episode 60 (click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/060 to listen) and my conversation with mom and author of the cookbook My Kitchen In Rome Rachel Roddy in episode 63 (click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/063 for that one). Those were two fantastic conversations, I learned so much about kids, food, and the interactions of one with the other while talking to these two great women! I know you'll love our chats, so if you haven't yet, go back and take a listen – that said, neither episode is a prerequisite to today's. Jeannie and Rachel are friends who live in Rome, Italy; each has a son in the Roman school system – and both are quick to note the differences between the school lunches they remember growing up in Canada and England respectively, and school lunches their sons enjoy each day. Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/064 for further notes from today's Your Child Explained!

Today's guest, Flip Your Life Community Member, Karen. She has a podcast called “We Turned Out Okay” whew she helps parents of young children enjoy parenting more without worrying about a lot of little things. Karen provides practical tips to other parents using her Master's Degree and expertise as a previous pre-school teacher. With only 20 people on her email list she is wondering how to take her hobby to a business. Currently working on writing a book, we go through ways she can use this piece of content to get her target audience back to her website and membership area for parents wanting to know more practical ways of how to parent. [Tweet "All Content Should Be Drawing People to Your Paid Product"] We go over why it is so important to be specific with her lead magnets, and the importance of asking her target audience what they need. Even if your audience doesn't know how to communicate their problems they may give you symptoms of what they are struggling with, in which you can then provide them with a solution. You will learn Can you put lead magnets into a book? Why to create your content. Why your content needs to be strategic. Ways to structure a membership site. Growing Your Email List - don't discount the size. Ask your audience what they need. Membership Sites are an enhancement from your free content. Likes on Social Media will never equal money. What it means to work “backwards” with your online business. A multi-faceted approach to grow your email subscribers. [Tweet "Listen to Your Customers and Give them what they want"] Links and resources mentioned in today's show We Turned Out Okay Podcast Author Audience Join the Flip Your Life Membership Enjoy the podcast; we hope it inspires you to explore what's possible for your family! Click here to leave us an iTunes review and subscribe to the show! We may read yours on the air! Can't Miss Moments Each week Jocelyn and I share moments that we might have missed if we had not started our online business. We hope these moments inspire you to see the possibilities and freedom online business could provide for your family. This week's cant's miss moment is building Valentine's Day boxes for Isaac and Annie's school parties. We recently got to do that. We got to sit down, decorate those and actually worked with them in the kitchen table. And that was a really cool experience. We are not just building Valentine boxes, we are building memories with them. And we know we are building a ton more memories now. You can connect with S&J on social media too!   Thanks again for listening to the show! If you liked it, make sure you share it with your friends and family! Our goal is to help as many families as possible change their lives through online business. Help us by sharing the show! If you have comments or questions, please be sure to leave them below in the comment section of this post. See y'all next week! Can't listen right now? Read the transcript below! JOCELYN: Hey y'all. Today's podcast we help Karen take her parenting website to the next level. SHANE: Welcome to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, where life always comes before work. We're your host, Shane and Jocelyn Sams. Join us each week as we teach you how to flip your lifestyle upside down by selling stuff online. Are you ready for something different? Alright. Let's get started. SHANE: What is going on guys? Welcome again to the Flipped Lifestyle podcast. Great to be back with you again this week. A little warning for this episode, we are having a little bit of internet connectivity issue with our guest today So it might be a little spotty and not quite up to the normal quality that you hear out of our podcast. But that's okay. We always say you ain't going to be perfect, so we are going to roll on with it and make sure we can give a lot of help and support to our Flip Your Life community guest today.

What's your experience with your young kids and food? Do they eat what seems like a balanced meal sometimes – and then other times reject anything and everything you put in front of them? Have you ever felt judged about your kid's eating, either by friends or relatives – or maybe by the pediatrician? This month on We Turned Out Okay, we'll dig into food and kids, and hopefully by the end of March you'll have some more clarity on what can seem like a super-cloudy subject! We've got three great interviews with guests you're going to love – I couldn't help but include one extra conversation about food, weeknight chaos, and families, coming up in the middle of the month – and two Your Child Explained episodes, where we try to see everything from the perspective of our kids. And finally, two Just-You-and-Me episodes to bookend the month of March! Today, we start off with the disaster that was our approach to food during our first years as parents, and what I did to fix that. When our oldest, now 15, visited the pediatrician for his three-year-old annual visit, the doctor had two questions for me: "what does Max eat every day, and what is his exercise level?" … I had nothin'. How could I tell her that Max's four food groups at that time were 1) Cheez–Its, 2) Macaroni and Cheese, 3) Actual Cheese, and 4) The Occasional Banana? How could I tell her that his exercise level was nil? That day, I realized that it wasn't just Max going down this terrible path; Ben and I were eating terribly, and not getting proper exercise as well! It was time to start making some changes. First, I started cooking again; I experimented with muffins, figured out a recipe that Max loved, that was decently healthy – at least, better than what I could find in the store – and most importantly that kept him actually full until lunchtime. Grab that recipe – and check out the show notes for this episode – by clicking here or going to weturnedoutokay.com/059!

When today's guest was five years old, he fell off a railway bridge and landed on hard ground 30 feet down. He spent weeks in a coma, and years healing; at the time a doctor wrote into his chart "don't expect Joel to lead a normal life." Well, that statement certainly turned out to be true! Joel Boggess of The ReLaunch Show is living a downright extraordinary life, getting a degree in counseling psychology and then combining that with his background in radio to cohost – along with his wife, dentist and business guru Dr. Pei Kang – the ReLaunch podcast. Joel's written an Amazon bestseller, Finding Your Voice, and he and Pei work together as entrepreneurs, podcasting and coaching. Joel graciously agreed to come on We Turned Out Okay a few weeks previously, spent the morning of our interview at the emergency room for treatment of a busted elbow, and still came through with our chat. Talk about going above and beyond! Our conversation ranged from Joel and Pei's two golden retrievers, retired therapy dogs, to some great advice to help us help our kids through tough situations. Click here to continue reading the show notes for episode 48!

Happy New Year! During the first two weeks of January, we are revisiting favorite, helpful conversations from the very beginning of We Turned Out Okay. These are episodes that listeners really responded to, right from the start, and as I'm planning the next several months of what the podcast will be, it seemed like a great time to go back, re-listen, and remember. Today I'm so happy to bring you my conversation with college professor and leadership expert Dr. Bob Nolley, who helped me be a better parent by thinking of myself as a leader with his podcast Labrador Leadership. Click here to read the notes to this episode at weturnedoutokay.com!

Happy New Year! During the first two weeks of January, we are revisiting favorite, helpful conversations from the very beginning of We Turned Out Okay. These are episodes that listeners really responded to, right from the start, and as I'm planning the next several months of what the podcast will be, it seemed like a great time to go back, re-listen, and remember. Today, to start your new year off right, I know you're going to love listening to award-winning author Daniel Wolff, who wrote one of my all-time favorite parenting books: How Lincoln Learned To Read. In fact, I loved this book so much that it is one of the 9 1/2 Key Resources for Old School Parents (which you can get by clicking here.) During our conversation, Daniel shares one of the most valuable pieces of advice for parents that I've ever heard. Click here to read this post's notes at weturnedoutokay.com!

Today, the first of the three-part series about stopping the Holiday Insanity by using the three best gifts you can ever give your children, we dive into: Time. In each of the Just You and Me December episodes – today's, December 15, and December 29 – we talk about one of these three gifts. Today's is time! For the show notes to this episode, go to the We Turned Out Okay website by clicking this link.

This week, we take a temporary break from We Turned Out Okay's Summer Camp series so that I can help you know how to talk with your children when a challenge arises. Sometimes, even in beautiful summer, bad things happen, and today I share about the tough situation my family and I have found ourselves in over the last several weeks. But rest assured – we've still got three lovely, golden August weeks left to enjoy summer and we will do so! One last thing before we get into the notes, this show has an epilogue, so after I have said "thanks for listening, see you next time" you still want to keep listening – I have something to share about both the Q&A, and about our dogs.… Not exactly a Hollywood ending, but a better one then I had ever thought could happen! A Breakdown of Today's Show Today's show is split into two parts, but before I get to those there is a really neat thing I wanted to share – friend-of-the-podcast Muttaqi Ismael, an amazing whiteboard video artist, has turned a favorite part of We Turned Out Okay: episode 5 – Four Risks That We Take With Our Children's Well-Being Every Day into a fantastic whiteboard video! He's a very talented guy, and to see the video just go to weturnedoutokay.com/017, where it is embedded… My plan is to give the video its own blog post during this month of August. Meantime, enjoy! And thank you Muttaqi – you did a great job! Our First Q&A! And now on to the Q&A – Jill asks: "why are my three kids awesome at swim lessons when daycare brings them, but when mommy brings them I'm practically holding their hand in the water (and that's if they actually get in the water) – we've been doing swim lesson since March BTW" We've all noticed this at some point in our parenting lives, haven't we? Why do they behave incredibly well for somebody else, and freak out for us? Jill, I'm so glad you asked this question because it is such a common concern. My answer dives (pun totally intended) into my experiences with how my kids behaved when they were small at Grandma's versus how they behaved with me – and I recorded the epilogue because, almost as soon as I hit stop recording this episode, I realized that I had been in a very similar situation to yours! I hope you find my answer helpful, and that it helps you think of other questions to ask. I love Q&A's, I think they're so helpful and also they help us know we are not alone. To submit a question, you can email Karen@weturnedoutokay.com, go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact, friend me on Facebook, find me on twitter@StoneAgeTechie, on instagram@weturnedoutokay… Heck, you can even snail mail me! My address is PO Box 61, Bellingham, MA, 02019. 4 Ways to Help Your Child Cope with Challenging Situations The main part of this show focuses on the four ways you can help your child cope with challenging situations. This came up because my family has been in a very challenging situation: about six weeks before this episode aired for the first time, we adopted two amazing, awesome dogs… And then the stress of caring for them caused a relapse in tendinosis, this condition that I live with that, at times, has left me unable to walk (which I've since relearned) and with extremely limited upper body and hand use. Long story short, these wonderful dogs entered our lives and within a very short time, we had to give them up. Truly, it was either them or my health and sanity. In this episode, I share about how heartbreaking and difficult this has been. But I also share about how grateful I am to have had them in our lives, and how amazed I am by the strength and gentleness of both my husband and our two boys. Most importantly for you, I share about how we got through this. Because when you are in a tough situation and you don't know how to help your kids get through it as well, it's really helpful to have a guide. I hope you will think of this podcast as your guide! Here are my four steps to coping with challenging situations, and helping your kids cope as well: 1) communicate with your kids; they WILL know that something is wrong, and consequently you will notice, if you try to keep everything from them, an uptick in bad behavior, anxiety, and tears; sharing with them what you can on their level reassures your kids and helps them trust you 2) help them understand that you are all in this together; be there for tears, questions, reassurances 3) find a way for them to help; children need to be needed, and when you give them a job – a truly meaningful job that truly helps you, however small – they become part of the solution 4) cherish the time we have with our loved ones; because challenging situations often include the absence of a person that they used to see a lot – whether through divorce, or death, or a cross-country move – it is really helpful to talk with our kids about how people come in and out of our lives; sometimes, people are not meant to be with us for long, or not without long intervals between seeing them, and the most important thing is to appreciate the time we have with our loved ones, and cherish the memory of them when we are not with them Giving up our dogs due to my illness is one of the hardest things we've faced as a family. I'm sharing this experience with you today because I really hope it will help you with the challenges that inevitably come up in your life. Kids are amazingly resilient, and cope well with life's challenges, especially when we grown-ups take the time to communicate with them, share in grief together, find meaningful ways for them to help, and above all teach them to enjoy the time we have with the people we love.

I'm so excited about this episode, part of our Summer Camp series in which we are setting aside our usual four themes (3R's, Unplanned Adventures, Kids through the Ages, and Risky Business), pouring a nice tall glass of iced tea – or Long Island Ice Tea, depending on your age and what time of day it is – and going on vacation! We will return to our regularly scheduled programming in September, but for now… Let's just enjoy summer! Though you may not know it, you have heard the voice of today's guest. Anna Vocino can be heard on networks like CBS and Fox Sports, in commercial campaigns for Canada dry, Disney Princess bikes, on The Young and The Restless and Jimmy Kimmel Live! and in many other places… but my favorite place to hear her voice is at the beginning and ending of my very own podcast! Also an accomplished comedic actor, Anna was a series regular on Free Radio on Comedy Central and performs sketch and improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and at FunnyorDie.com. In today's show, we learn that, along with a group that includes her now-husband, Anna started a theater company in Atlanta, Georgia which is still going strong 18 years later. In addition to all of the above, my guest today has celiac disease, and as a result has relearned how to feed herself and her family, created GlutenFreeAnna.com to share her learning, and has a cookbook coming out soon. Listen for: her inspiring perseverance through the many obstacles that have been tossed in her path; from the "surprise" pregnancy and birth of their daughter while starting the theater company all those years ago, to cultivating the super thick skin required to make it in Hollywood and right on up to how Anna dealt with the autoimmune disease known as celiac, she has cheerfully taken on every unplanned adventure – and won great summer memories (this show airs during We Turned Out Okay's visit to Summer Camp, when we set aside our usual themes and just enjoy summertime) that Anna has, from going to Methodist Camp as the daughter of a minister, to attending a really great arts summer camp in Michigan with a delicious mystery dessert that she remembers well, even if she can't recall exactly what it is now :-) the importance of a strong family bond, both in the family she was raised in and the one she is building with her husband and daughter, in Anna's life; while she never comes out and says "family is and always has been super important to me," this love comes through in every memory she shares, every situation she describes If you take one idea away from today's show, I hope it is this: autoimmune diseases come in many varieties, and if you or someone you love has peculiar symptoms that are painful and debilitating, yet no one can place, the problem might be autoimmune based, or possibly food -related. But as Anna Vocino shares with us, these problems do not have to be the end of your world; instead, they could be the beginning of a new and better existence!

015: Top 11 Ways to Tire Out Your Kids For This Summer Camp episode of We Turned Out Okay, I asked you about your favorite ways to tire out your kids… And you sure responded! Special thanks to Doug Gray, Aisha Newton, Nancy Marsh, Miriam Ortiz y Pino, De Osborne, Shannon Criscola, Amy Blake, Erica Chick, John Winchenbach, my own Jason Kolp, and Deb Petrella for coming up with our most popular ways to tire out your kids. Here they are! Number 11: Go take a hike Number 10: Dance Party! Number 9: Have a field day Number 8: Flashlight tag Number 7: Indoor and rainy day games Number 6: Ride bikes Number 5: Noncompetitive games Number 4: Obstacle course Number 3: Wacky golf Number 2: Nerf wars (drumroll please…) Number 1: Swimming Did we miss any of your favorites? Tell me about it! Tweet me@StoneAgeTechie or post to twitter at #oldschoolsummervaca, shout about it in the We Turned Out Okay group on Facebook, or just get in touch with good old-fashioned email to Karen@Weturnedoutokay.com.

Welcome to the first episode of Summer Camp at We Turned Out Okay! For the summer months of July and August, we are setting aside our usual four themes (Risky Business, 3R's, Kids Through the Ages, and Unplanned Adventures) and kicking back. We are recognizing that in summer, time moves somewhat differently, and we can set aside our usual schedules at least a little bit – so pour yourself a frosty drink and stick your toes in the virtual sand as you press play. In this episode I share about four fantastic books that should be on your summer reading list: The Night Before Summer Vacation by Natasha Wing; I kick off the episode reading this book, an obvious and wonderful play on The Night Before Christmas, a picture book that we read at the beginning of every summer, even now that the boys are 14 and 10, because it is just that awesome How To Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell; a great book involving a bet about eating live worms, the fallout from that, and the summer in which it all takes place Time Sweep by Valerie Weldrick, in which a modern Australian boy discovers a way to travel through time and space, befriending a young London street sweeper living in the late 1800s; I read and loved this book as a young girl and it just evokes summertime for me Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling; I love rereading the Harry Potter books in summer, and every time I do something new comes up for me… This reread has me thinking of the big ideas that literature can bring up for us, and there's a special kind of magic when you combine big ideas and summertime If you take just one thing from this episode, I hope it is this: as parents, it's our responsibility to instill a love of reading in our children. Reading is how humans make sense of the world, and there are lots of other platitudes to be said about it – but it's summer click publish, and platitudes are out! Reading, however, is still in, because not only is it our responsibility – it's fun!