Podcasts about trite

Have you ever felt that the words “I love you” fell flat or seemed insincere? In this enlightening episode of the Awakened Elevated Podcast, Lori Spagna dives deep into the nuances of expressing love. She explores why saying “I love you” can sometimes feel trite and how to ensure that these words carry the true frequency of love. Reflecting on experiences from the Conscious Life Expo and sharing personal stories, Lori offers practical wisdom on how to communicate love authentically, especially in moments of conflict or resistance.  Lori talked about: •Why saying “I love you” can sometimes feel trite or inauthentic. •The difference between love expressed from the heart versus the analytical mind. •Her personal experience at the Conscious Life Expo and how it inspired this conversation. •Practical advice on how to say “I love you” silently and still make an energetic impact. •The power of Ho'oponopono and how to use it effectively in conflict resolution. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Join us for a FREE, GIFTED MASTER CLASS:https://go.lorispagna.com/launch2 Your Best Life Ever Is Waiting For You. Ready to get unstuck? Learn to develop your intuition, awaken your spiritual gifts and extra sensory abilities, reclaim your power, embrace your divine potential, manifest your dream life and live your highest fulfillment, all while deepening your authentic, spiritual connection and making massive positive impact?It's time for you to step into a life filled with crystal clear clarity, unapologetic self confidence, unshakable inner peace, unlimited potential, vibrant energy and the abundant, prosperous dream life you are meant to have.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's All Been Trekked Before #406  Season 13, Episode 8  Star Trek: Deep Space Nine #3.08 "Meridian"    Keith thinks this was one of the worst episodes. Stephen turns to baseball metaphors. Jimmy-Jerome was intrigued by the concept, but agree it failed. They also discuss the horniest Trek episodes.    Edited by Jerome Wetzel, with assistance from Resound.fm   It's All Been Trekked Before is produced by IABD Presents entertainment network. http://iabdpresents.com Please support us at http://pateron.com/iabd Follow us on social media @IABDPresents and https://www.facebook.com/ItsAllBeenTrekkedBefore

Looking for a spider to fall in love with? Well, this week's critter is a real head-turner. The endemic black-headed jumping spider, Trite planiceps, loves dancing, hunting and snuggling up in a cozy leaf with its beau. Sensible, brave and clever, its curious head tilts are cute enough to melt the heart of even the most hardened arachnophobe.

Lara and Carey are back with a second recap of season 18 of RHOC, but first they have some ground to cover: a Russian man getting gored by a female bull for good reasons, a Massachusetts town on lockdown from a mosquito-borne pestilence, a new epidemic of children accidentally being served alcohol at restaurants, and more. Back in the OC, Alexis and Shannon continue their cold war at Heather's New Year luncheon and Tamra gets (potentially too) rill with Shannon. Katie shows off her slay life, Tamra and Eddie convene in Big Bear, Heather and Shannon bury the hatchet at dinner, and Jenn officially moves in with Ryan. Then, Gina and Jenn have a coffee date that ends in screaming and an uneaten croissant.Buy tickets to SUP LIVE in Los Angeles & Austin,TX!Subscribe to Once Upon a Time in Nashville to hear a new episode out now!Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON.Be cheap as hell and get full-length videos of the pod for free by subscribing to the SUP YOUTUBE.Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TIKOK.Production: Sexy Unique Podcast is Produced By:Tiny Legends, LLC: / tinylegends.prod Stella Young: / estellayoung Guy Robinson: / grobfps Audio & Video EditorCase Blackwell Art Direction and Social Media:Ariel Moreno: / jade.rabbit.cce Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Three Old Hacks, aka prolific author and former BBC Sports editor Mihir Bose, Economics editor of the Sunday Times David Smith and political analyst Nigel Dudley give their analysis of Keir Starmer's first few days in Government.“The whole focus is on quiet competence, no flashiness.”Get in contact with the podcast by emailing threeoldhacks@outlook.com, we'd love to hear from you!

Cal Newport is a guide, a visionary, a role model to me and millions of others on living an intentional and productive life amidst our noisy, scatterbrained, tech-drenched world. He's an MIT-trained computer science professor at Georgetown University and author of 10 books which have collectively sold over 2 million copies including ‘Deep Work,' ‘Digital Minimalism,' and his latest bestseller, ‘Slow Productivity.' “I sometimes joke that my entire career is built on giving two-word terms to things everyone thinks and knows,” Cal says, but the truth is he's doing a lot more than that. Take ‘Slow Productivity.' He's boiled this new phrase down into three principles: 1) Do fewer things, 2) Work at a natural pace, and 3) Obsess over quality. Sounds simple, right? Trite, even! But that's when you raise your head and realize the world is conspiring against you doing any of these. Doesn't our world today reward… doing *more* things, working at an *unnatural* pace, and obsessing over *quantity*? There's a reason Cal has no social media apps on his phone. Why he has no social media accounts at all…and never has! With his books, and his wonderful podcast ‘Deep Questions,' he is focused on helping us find our way as we navigate ever-changing technology and work patterns that increasingly feel at odds with our shared quest of living intentional lives. Cal has a giant mind and it was on full display in this chat as we discuss: how Cal measures success, the neuroscience of reading, Denis Villeneuve, the relationship between rest and work, the ideal age for unrestricted Internet access, The Washington Nationals, leetspeak and productivity pr0n, the role of books today and their future, Andrew Huberman, positive reinforcement theory, Jonathan Haidt and ‘The Anxious Generation,' technology boundaries for children, and much, much more… Let's turn the page to Chapter 135 now…

"Hey dipshits, how come you spent so long talking about hockey, bowling, and Roger Waters instead of getting on with talking about Queen?" Good question, good question... Also - we need to petition cinemas to have intermissions. Don't know why I thought of that just then, but maybe it will become more clear in the episode. Randy tells us about his Martin D-28, Kev tells us about his bowling playoffs, and we listen to a little bit of Q+PR. Imagine that! It's all happening this week.If Randy were to title this episode, he'd probably call it "Any night tonight" or possibly, "Trite 'n' shite!"Today's episode covers our first song from Side White of "Queen II" and closing song in Brian's suite, "Some Day One Day"NOTE: Skip forward to 39.07 if wanna get straight into the manifestations and wheel spin. We won't hold it against you! Well, we will, but we'll also still love you. We're weird like that...Thanks to everyone who tuned in to the last episode and left us some comments on Twitter, Facebook, and BlueSky! Also, come join us on our Discord server, we'd be glad to have you! We'll always try to answer any questions you have and seriously appreciate any corrections you make to anything we get wrong. And thanks so much for all your support as usual. We're loving diving into the Queen fandom as much as we're enjoying recording the podcasts!Huge thanks to Corey Morrissette and Mark Camire for letting us copy and paste the format from their gold-standard podcast; And the Podcast Will Rock. You can find them at @PodcastWillRock on Twitter. Also, make sure you go check out our beautiful brothers and sisters over on the Deep Dive Podcast Network!Follow us onTwitter: @queenseasideFacebook: @seasidepodreviewBluesky: @seasidepodreview.bsky.socialAlso, check out Kev's other podcastsThe Tom Petty Project: https://tompettyproject.comThe Ultimate Catalogue Clash: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ultimate-catalogue-clashAnd if you want to check out Randy's music, you can find it here:https://randywoodsband.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fran faces a troubling predicament—she may be laid off from her job. As she talked about it with Jesus, he assured her nothing could separate her from him, so she could trust him. Of course, the nagging fears keep nibbling around her mind, but Jesus speaks to her again in that inner voice, reminding her he always keeps his promises. Fran begins to think about that. “That's right, Lord, and you've promised never to leave me or forsake me. And you've promised to supply all of my needs according to your riches,” Fran says. “It's really a question of whether or not I think you have the riches and resources to meet my needs and those of my children, even if I lose my job, isn't it, Lord?” Fran thinks this through very carefully. Trite answers won't do here. “Yes, I believe you can meet my needs,” she responds, a little shaky. She can hear that inner voice saying to her: “Well, believing I can meet your needs is one thing; but do you believe I will meet your needs, Fran?” As she thinks about this question, Fran realizes this is a real test of her faith, because faith is believing what you can't see. It's not too hard to say you believe God can take care of you, but when you're facing possible financial hardships, lack of income, or loss of a job, it causes you to search your heart and see who you trust. Fran asks herself: “Do you trust your employer more than Jesus?” “Oh, no, Lord, of course not. I trust you more than anyone. You know that,” Fran quickly asserts. “So that means there is no need to panic. I can relax. The company does not hold my future in their hands; you do, Lord.” As this thought fills her mind, the tears start down her face. “It's so easy to forget that, Lord. Thanks for reminding me. You're a whole lot more reliable than any company I could ever work for, and I can trust you with my future. But I have a feeling you're going to have to remind me of that quite often as this all starts to play out. I'm sure the fear and panic will raise its ugly head again.” Thinking about that, Fran decides it would be a good idea to type those two verses from Psalm 56 on a card and prop it up right there on her desk, even on her screensaver, so she can see it all the time. “That will help me remember that when I am afraid, you are here for me and no earthly person or organization can get to me except through you. Lord,” she continues, “I am your responsibility, and you are capable of taking care of me quite well.” “I will keep trusting you, Lord,” Fran replies. “I'm okay now; I'm fine. I better get to work. Got lots to do today.” And with that, Fran's mind is at rest, and she begins her day's work.

Hour 2 of A&G features... Our guest, military analyst Mike Lyons, on the death of 3 US service members... Jack goes to the movies... Joe details the challenges faced by Argentina's president... Jack's son goes on a school camping trip! Stupid Should Hurt: https://www.armstrongandgetty.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hour 2 of A&G features... Our guest, military analyst Mike Lyons, on the death of 3 US service members... Jack goes to the movies... Joe details the challenges faced by Argentina's president... Jack's son goes on a school camping trip! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hour 2 of A&G features... Our guest, military analyst Mike Lyons, on the death of 3 US service members... Jack goes to the movies... Joe details the challenges faced by Argentina's president... Jack's son goes on a school camping trip! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION –  Passion, purpose, and writing tips. Zena checks all the boxes in this captivating and controversial interview with Shari McGriff for her special event: Penning for a Purpose.About Penning for a Purpose - Why should you watch this event?you're utterly horrified by the indoctrination of our kids and our culture--which writers have played a huge part in!you believe that America is in trouble.you are tired of the woke ideology.you need to know what topics to focus writing about in both fiction and non-fiction projects,you want to know what you can do TODAY and tomorrow to make a difference and turn America back to God and to our founding principles.GET INVOLVED: This event will tell you how to get involved in winning the culture war and bringing hope.TOPICS & THEMES: This event will give you ideas of topics and themes that you can include in your writing to bring hope and fight the enemy's agenda against our children and our culture.YOU'RE NOT ALONE: This event will give you the kick in the pants you need to realize you're not alone in your frustration; it's time to take action and write about subjects that matter and that you absolutely CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE with your writing!OUR SPEAKERS--Kelly Stigliano, Author & Speaker---Lt. Col (ret) Darin Gaub, Restore Liberty ---Rocklyn Grace, Dystopian Novelist--Shari McGriff, WIYC & The Writer's Academy--Bruce Friedman, No Left Turn--Rev. Paula Palmer Green, Covet2Prophesy--Zena Dell Lowe, Actress, Screenwriter, & Producer--Tanya Kacsan, Moms for Liberty--and more!Watch the rest of the interviews on the "Write Into Your High Calling" Rumble Channel: https://rumble.com/c/c-1175971.  Free Video Tutorial for ScreenwritingSign up for The DigestThe Storyteller's Mission Podcast is now on YouTube. You can watch your favorite podcast as well as listen. Subscribe to our channel and never miss a new episode or announcement.Support the Show on Paypal@Missionranchfilms! HELPFUL LINKS AND RESOURCES - The Storyteller's Mission online platform offers one-on-one COACHING, SCRIPT and MANUSCRIPT CRITIQUES, and ADVANCED CLASSES ON WRITING. Send us an email at info@thestorytellersmission.com, or if you have a question or a specific writing-related topic that you would like Zena to consider addressing on a future episode, LEAVE US A VOICEMAILSupport the show

Ready to conquer the CISSP exam? Join me, Sean Gerber, as I break down complex concepts and guide you through an in-depth exploration of threat models, including their components and the crucial role they play in identifying and mitigating potential threats. You'll not only get an understanding of the TRITE methodology and when to use STRIDE or DREAD, but also learn to pinpoint which threats in STRIDE refer to an act that modifies data or system configurations.We'll unravel the secrets of successful threat modeling and the key steps involved - leaving no stone unturned. Unearth how to interpret multiple choice questions, and understand the nitty-gritty of the TRITE methodology. In addition, we'll shed light on the importance of updating and maintaining threat models as an ongoing process. This episode is guaranteed to leave you feeling prepared and confident for the CISSP exam. Don't just take the exam, ace it! Tune in to this episode and get set to become a pro at threat modeling.Gain access to 30 FREE CISSP Exam Questions each and every month by going to FreeCISSPQuestions.com and sign-up to join the team for Free.

Join us for the "BAD FIT" to WELL PAID ENCOURAGER MASTERCLASS on Saturday March 4th: Click here! During that 90-minute session, we're going to: Introduce the 5 Predictors for Success (So you'll know whether you can be successful as a coach and/or speaker) Provide the “Breakthrough Bridge” which is the key to breaking free from a “bad fit” job and building something of your own Give you the “Six-Figure Sequence” (which is a checklist to help you hit Six-Figures as a Well-Paid Encourager!) I hope you join us on the 4th! And... I hope this episode helps you to get UNSTUCK... especially if you've ever wanted to create content but you worried you're being trite or saying something that's been said before! Yup... THIS episode will help! By the way... YOUR VOICE is needed and YOUR STORY matters! Let's go! _______________ Be sure to hit me up with questions at www.encouragingtheencouragers.com and I'll answer them as we go! Check it out and be sure to grab our free "WELL PAID ENCOURAGER'S SECRET TOOL BOX!" (Plus... that's how you can start to get emails from me to stay in the know!) Be sure to check out my other podcast called "DREAM THINK DO too: here And hey... let's connect on Facebook and Instagram too! #letsdothis #IlovejesusbutIcussalittle #coaching #speaker #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #coach #mindset #inspiration #selflove #life #selfcare #success #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #loveyourself #meditation #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #fitness #positivevibes #motivationalspeaker #businesscoach #personalgrowth #business

Hear me out… We're all in need of improvement! Trite platitudes may feel good in the moment, and may be true in certain circumstances, but your life should be a continuous path upwards!The following music was used for this media project:Music: United by Frank SchroeterFree download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10440-unitedLicense (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-licenseMentioned in this episode:Summits.funLearn about all of my upcoming summits to apply to speak or attend.Summits.fun

Join us as we break down some common sayings that many people use as comfort during difficult times.  Are these saying always the best?  Why are we so quick to offer these sayings as encouragement?  We'll look at these questions and more as we talk about specific truths and sayings.  

Will diversity in the Pentagon solve the horrendous foreign policy record of our government? Is an investigation on Fauci closer than we expected? Also in the show, Tho Bishop of the Mises Institute joins in to talk about Florida's battle against Big Tech, the viciousness of the DoJ, the dark truth beneath the Martha's Vineyard saga, how to solve the immigration crisis, and more. Visit A Neighbor's Choice website at aneighborschoice.com

Some admins from the HVAC School Facebook group join the podcast to discuss the art of moderating a successful community. Bryan is joined by Eric Kaiser, Ty Branaman, Michael Housh, and Neil Comparetto. A community based on a skilled trade gives people an inviting space to share information and ask questions. It's also a space that allows people to practice how they present information. Groups also connect people across geographical locations, and we can get regional perspectives that change the way we think about things. However, community standards are necessary to keep groups professional and on-topic. Swearing is a slippery slope that may lead to personal attacks, which make the community hostile and unhelpful. The main goal is to keep a respectful atmosphere, and moderators have to draw the line somewhere, but there's a difference between cultivating a productive atmosphere and being dogmatic. People who interact in those communities need to do it for altruistic reasons, not to satisfy their egos. Giving detailed, accurate answers (ideally with a source to back up the information) is the best way to contribute meaningfully. Engaging in rigorous debates with an open mind is also a great way to see many different viewpoints.  Debates in HVAC communities are great, but they require boundaries and mutual respect between debaters. Namecalling, blaming others, or dragging politics into the discussion is unproductive. Overall, it's best to stay positive and try to keep things helpful, and admins try to maintain an atmosphere that can be both serious and lighthearted but is always helpful and respectful. HVAC communities and groups are not places to share other groups, content, or job postings. These groups are not marketing centers; they are forums for learning and discussing the work we do every day. Ty, Neil, Michael, Eric, and Bryan also talk about: How they got started in online HVAC communities Unproductive arguments about codes Banning and muting members Receiving feedback Avoiding logical fallacies in debates How egos hold people back Trite and unproductive catchphrases, slogans, and jokes Responding to disagreements productively Communicating with people appropriately Admitting fault and refraining from judging others who are incorrect Moderating posts for quality and shareability   If you have an iPhone, subscribe to the podcast HERE, and if you have an Android phone, subscribe HERE. Check out our handy calculators HERE.

Story 30 from 'A Lifetime Doing Nothing' by Ian McCrorie . When you find yourself in a hole, first stop digging. Trite but true, when we find ourselves in this predicament, we need to lay down the activities that led us to be that deep in the hole. When I found myself in an alcohol-induced hole, I let all the alcohol-related activities go. These included for a time even good friends... narrated by Ian McCrorie 2022 3 minutes 37 seconds Listen to Streaming Audio Your browser does not support the audio element. Download Audio (2.2MB) Audio copyright, 2022 Pariyatti 'A Lifetime Doing Nothing' as a book and eBook can be found at https://store.pariyatti.org/a-lifetime-doing-nothing. More by Ian McCrorie. View more books and audio resources available in the Pariyatti bookstore.

Andrey from Sydney told SBS Russian why he decided to learn to fly a helicopter and why he is not afraid to fall. - Андрей из Сиднея рассказал SBS Russian, как в свободное от работы время решил научиться летать на вертолете и почему не боится упасть.

The 3rd facet to the tenet of Present is kindness and openness.  Kindness and openness are the bedrock of being present.You've got to try a little kindnessYes, show a little kindnessJust shine your light for everyone to seeAnd if you try a little kindnessThen you'll overlook the blindnessOf narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets - Glen CampbellDoes this sound naïve?  Trite?  Let's look at the concept of kindness today.Intentional Optimism - Your Vehicle for Personal Growth:Optimistic = hope and a futurePresent - wonder, generosity, kind / openEnergetic - industry, excitement, life focusedCourageous - leader, adventurous, undauntedWise - words, respectIntentional - plan, purposeful, good financesTopics discussed in this episode: Kindness / Openness: Emotions: I will feel what is happening NOW. I don't run from my feelings. They tell me things I need to know.Non-judgement: Every human is created in the Image of God, worthy of kindness, grace, respect and saving.Poor/Disenfranchised: I open my heart and hands to those in need. I have enough to share.Ask yourself :What are YOUR heart attitudes regarding kindness and openness?What emotions does it stir up?Where is judgement showing up for you?Get involved!Newsletter:  Optimistic LivingCollaborative Membership Community: Launch From The BeachEmail me at andrea@theintentionaloptimist.comJoin me over in the Intentional Optimists Facebook Group  ●  Follow on Instagram @theintentionaloptimist  ●  Linked In Andrea JohnsonGrab your FREE:Andrea's Favorite Planning & Productivity tools“Ultimate DISC communication Cheat Sheet”Need some tools?Try New Things - 30 Day ChallengeGet your own DISC Assessment, and don't forget the 10% discount (code "PODCAST") at check out!Noom: A Mindful Way to Eat Learn how to intentionally challenge your mindset in order to take control of your health.Skillshare: Spark your creativity. Get 40% Off Annual MembershipDisclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/AndreaJohnson)

It's the finale! K'az, Maharo III, Joza, and Kith head to confront Damoril once and for all!...yes, Kith. Kith's been there the whole time. Special thanks to Leslie. Twitter: @LeslitGS There's a new audiodrama! patreon.com/silzero

This inaugural episode comes to you straight from the heart. Who are you? No really, WHO are you? And what are imaginal cells?There is only one YOU.Is every bit of who you are feeling free and confident enough to be expressed? We will talk about why this is so vital to consider - for both you and for our world. Find out what imaginal cells  are and why they are the namesake of this podcast. I could not be more pleased and honored to start this adventure with you. Links mentioned in this episode:Business coach Jo Casey https://www.jocasey.comWays to connect with Sas (she/her):Instagram: @lori_saseSign up for her newsletter or find out about coaching: https://www.lorisase.com

I awoke facing the wall. My mouth like cotton, I sensed something amiss and an old familiar feeling. When you wake up from a wild night where memories are sparse, or non-existent, a moment of panic can grip you due to the uncertainty of place and time. The drab detox dorm room had two beds in it, with waterproof mattresses. I rolled over to sunlight blasting through a window and the first thing I saw outside was a Coors Light billboard near a highway. The irony was striking. I had been drinking that watered-down slop the day before, along with whatever else I could funnel into my face.An old familiar panic gripped my forearms and shoulders, and stirred in my gut. I had noticed this many years before, even during my first mornings after drinking. If humans had souls, or a root essence, I thought, you could experience it via its absence in shaky morning-afters when the five senses lay crippled by the hangover. As the saying goes, “Faith will tell me God is present when my human senses fail.” Except it was kind of opposite of that, because with my failed human senses, I felt the horrific emptiness because I had wholly rejected faith.The notion filled me with dread that some part was missing, or had departed, or was still downtown at the bar, and I needed that essence to return to me. I needed that part to put the rest of the senses and self together again. Whenever I had awoke in a house full of responsible people, my typical response to this lost feeling was to show artificial health and vigor, to get up and appear normal and recovered, despite wanting to sleep, or disappear, or die. I've noticed the same in others, often at business conferences, when a drinker clearly had a rough night or did something foolish, but they rise and pretend that all is well. The lengths a hungover person goes to in pretending stuns me, from my own experiences and from watching others.To my horror, a clock on the wall showed 4 o'clock…in the afternoon. Having slept all day and not yet called home, this clock signified my betrayal of my wife and children. The mistake I had made this time could not be ignored or charmed over. This error in judgment and prudence leapt past the usual cause of grievances in our household. Worst of all I had been drunk driving while I had a responsibility for my children and should have woke up at home, not in detox. I knew immediately that this would be a scar upon all of my relationships. All of them. Everyone important in my life suffered because of my choice the night before.Over the coming hours I cycled through the process of denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Then came the shame and the guilt. I had learned about the difference between shame and guilt in a prior attempt to stop drinking. Guilt is feeling bad about something you've done, whereas shame is feeling bad about who you are and that you don't deserve love. Since I like to hold pity parties for myself, I tended to choose a la carte from both of those classifications.Several years before the arrest, I had tried earnestly, voluntarily, to quit drinking, doing a 28-day outpatient program, to fix myself and address the question of “What is wrong with me?” The propensity to drink and make a mess of life ate at me enough that I had decided to get help. In this circle of misfits, I nearly walked out on the first day when I read the 12 steps on the wall. The second step required capitulation to a “…Power greater than myself.” That verbiage really, really bothered me.But I stayed. I stayed in that program and did the 28 days, learning a great deal about addiction and how my “lizard brain” works. Indeed, I still know to this day that it is my lizard brain that wants Cinnamon Toast Crunch at 3 AM.At the urging of counselors, I attended AA meetings, and even tried to believe in a Higher Power. At the time I was atheist or agnostic, depending on the hour, and I leaned left politically, mostly only to lean away from the religious right. My position was not for specific issue, but merely against all things religious, which I felt poisoned the world. At that point in my life I subscribed to the sermons of Hitchens and Dawkins. The deconstruction of my belief in the Christian faith is a long story. More on that later.Of the many, many things I learned in that 28-day recovery group was that rich or poor, left or right, educated or uneducated - alcohol and drugs do not discriminate. These substances will overpower the strongest will and beguile the most cunning mind. They will feed a person's vanity and shape an ego into whatever form desired. They will lift you up or bring you down, whichever you want or think you prefer. For me, drinking was the “tree of knowledge.” I suppose that makes Captain Morgan the serpent. Replace the symbolism in Genesis with whatever your vice and I suspect that the same story can be told. Whatever entices and mesmerizes and steals goodness away from you, and replaces love in your heart with negativity is probably your own apple on the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Unfortunately for me, even if I avoid one tree, sometimes I find a second tree, or a third.Detox is a primarily a waiting area, where you dry out until you can be taken to jail. Hence, each drunkard is allotted ample time to think and commiserate with others in the same state of limbo. What frustrated me most was that a month before the arrest I thought I had made the life changes I needed. I had quit tobacco and started exercising, and I was learning to drink socially, controllably. For a month I had done well.So what happened?The same thing that always happened.In hindsight, the spur to action a month earlier had been from drinking too much on a work trip and regretting the outcome. Thus, like every cycle before this cataclysm, I trod the same path: drinking lightly for a time, then back to drinking heavily, onto regret and shame, followed by abstaining and declaring a life change, and lastly looping back to the beginning.The same cycle repeated for twenty years.A drinker will always forgive himself in order to drink again. The only difference this time was legal consequences, which apparently is what it took (after all, the system is called the “Department of Corrections”). I needed a correction. Until the arrest I wasn't unscrambling the obvious message to wake up.An AA group visited to the detox facility to hold a meeting. I joined their meeting, almost eager to share that I needed to join AA and get on track, as the disturbance in my family and home life was quaking in me.I had tried AA before, for a while. But rather than 12-stepping I did 9 steps and then dumped my sponsor. He had urged me to unhitch from the past and latch onto AA, full-time, but the group felt cultish and separated from the world that I had to live in. Too much God, I thought. I wanted something more scientific, like SMART Recovery or psychological explanations or pharmaceutical solutions. I had read the Big Book and other AA materials and found them fascinating at first, but it didn't stick. Reading and re-reading the Big Book struck me as pseudo-scriptural and the writing didn't feel profound enough to merit such continual attention. The chapter titled “We Agnostics” made me realize what an unoriginal thinker I was, as I was like the chapter's archetype: “…so touchy that even a casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism.”It always stings when I find out how predictable and regular I am.My tendencies, I felt, did not need the full treatment of AA, as “some of us are sicker than others.” Truly, some people have a much worse struggle with alcohol than I did, and I listened in pity to those people. Surely those people needed the whole program. But I had issues with parts of the Big Book and felt that AA took an anti-intellectual turn in saying that problem drinkers tend to “…read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments, thinking this universe needs no God to explain it.” To me those were fightin' words, since books and knowledge sustained me. I saw science and progress as the ultimate good, and spiritualism and religion as backward-facing fanaticism and wizardry.In my half-hearted AA attempt, I reached the “Pink Cloud” stage where everything was wonderful, where quitting drinking was easy, and life was grand. Call it my Pollyanna phase. Then, as the AA members and alcohol counselors warned me, the Pink Cloud passed me by and regular cold fronts came around with blustering sleet and negative windchill. I lasted about a year sober, got my one-year chip as evidence, but never fully bought into the program. I said the prayers and joined hands and even (kinda, sorta) liked saying the Our Father with the others. I almost always left an AA meeting feeling lifted up (although my sponsor warned me that feeling good wasn't the point of meetings, but it was a nice side effect).I can only praise AA, despite not attending any more. So many people slam it for not being the answer, that there is “too much God” in it. But it gave me a toolkit for dealing with life that was far better than the portrayal of AA in TV and movies. TV's portrayal of the organization is absurd and disconnected from reality. The numerous proverbs I learned in those rooms still help me in the grind of days. At a meeting, people drop these one-liners into conversation that seem backwards at first, but then become profound upon inspection. I would marvel at the phrases after hearing them the first time. Sometimes they don't make sense until a day or week later. “Surrender to win.” “Wear the world like a loose shirt.” “Don't trust your feelings.” “There's nothing so bad happening in your life that a drink can't make worse.” “Principles over personalities.” “One day at a time.” “Progress, not perfection.” “Don't quit before the miracle happens.” “Do the next right action.” “Thy will, not mine, be done.” “Perfection kills.” “An expectation is a planned resentment.”Hundreds of these sayings exist and I mutter them still today, and probably always will. I could write much about each of those sayings and how each has helped me interpret my predicaments. They also summon a memory of a person or a face from a meeting. But above and beyond all of those sayings, in usefulness and practical application to life, is the one prayer that is said at every meeting. The Serenity Prayer. Yes, the corny Serenity Prayer.“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”Trite or not…this sentence acted as a gateway for me to even consider, to even deign or lower my high and mighty self, to accept that there might be a Higher Power or God over me. It also taught me that whenever I use the words “trite” or “corny” or “cliche” in a sentence, I expose my cynicism toward anything wholesome or time-tested. Those words are like my tell in a poker game. I liked to apply those labels to anything old-fashioned or traditional. Those trite and cliche things were tired and expired, and I was so modern and smart. It's funny now, with hindsight, my way of life was what had become tired and expired, and certainly cliche.In the beginning, I would not say the first word - “God” - because I wanted to secularize the prayer, and I felt that the prayer still worked without the first word. However, without the first word, the rest still implies that you are speaking to some Higher Power, some “thing” that can grant the serenity. Otherwise, to what are you asking for Serenity if not the spirit of the universe, or Gaia, or Zeus, or…God?So much of life can be cut to the chase with this little prayer, yet it is so simple. The Serenity Prayer in its plainness is like a razor that can cut through hard problems like butter. If I were to successfully apply the principles of that prayer alone to my daily decisions, with no other rules or aphorisms or moral guidance, I could quickly separate the meaningful from the useless. You take the problem, thought, or decision and ask yourself: “Can I change this?” If not, then you drop the subject because it's beyond your power. If you can change it, then you decide if you are willing to take up the challenge to change it, and if you are willing, you do the work. If you are not willing, then you don't, and again you drop it. Surely the wisdom part is the tricky thing, especially for someone who is all too human, like myself. The prayer provides a little Venn diagram for your problems, where you can place life's issues into one of two circles: Accept or Change. Wisdom is knowing into which circle to push each problem.By the time I had attended the AA meeting in detox, I had met many of the other people in residence with me, and found jailhouse lawyer types, hard alcoholics in denial, and drug addicts who had somehow even found a way to get drugs into detox, which baffled me. Like a field trip, detox feels like a tour, or a museum of people that are captured from their natural habitat and paused for a time of reflection.After 36 hours of sobering up, after some tears and anxiety, the arresting police officer returned and picked me up for my next stop, the county jail. Cuffed again and back in the police car, I discussed what would happen next with the police officer, who told me I was one of his favorite arrests due to the interesting conversations that we had during booking, none of which I remembered, other than a snapshot or two captured in my mind during the blackout.An awareness of my powerlessness had set in through the hours of detox, and the handcuffs were the physical reminder of my lack of control while I rode in the car. No choices could be made. No media, no snacks, no smart phone. Possibly, for the first time, I understood what freedom actually meant, since in taking these things away, I only then realized what unbridled freedom my entire life had been as an American in the late 20th century and early 21st century. I had been born in the most “free” time in history, with the least personal struggles - no war, no disease, no death - and yet I had invented my own struggles and even felt depressed most of the time. In fact, I had even been taking depression medication for years, all during the easiest and least challenging period in history. I kept thinking about the AA saying that drinkers suffer from a “spiritual malady” and suffer from their own will. This sense of powerlessness did a ride-along as the police car entered the county jail intake door. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.whydidpetersink.com

individualism, elite access, an inconvenient truth, torrents, unstuck in time, adaptation, acting choices, clunky dialogue, defining treason, conflict styles, and lost.#arrival#moviesbyminutes ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Beware the default mode of prizes and back-pats lest you drain the power from praise. Trite and nonspecific praise can at best offer minimal value, and at worst create a system of winners and losers. We know it’s common to under-communicate genuinely positive, appreciative, and admiring regard for our coworkers in a powerful way. That's why Sarah Rose and John are jumping into the deep end of the praise pool and focusing this episode on sharing 3 tactical checkpoints to examine, reform, and transform your team’s practice of praise. _____Referenced this week: Exploring the relationship between learning and leadership. Leadership & Organization Development Journal. (Brown & Posner, 2001).Leading adult learning: Supporting adult development in our schools. (Drago-Severson, 2009). Excerpt from: How the way we talk can change the way we work: Seven languages for transformation. (Kegan, R., & Lahey, L. L. (2001).)Managing diversity at work: Does psychological safety hold the key to racial differences in employee performance?  (Singh & Selvarajan, 2013). _____Show NormsBe transparent about where we're at. Only record show when we're both ready.Tell me where your head is at. This will help us adapt to our moods and tones.  Share the mic. Push for equity of voice in recording and editing.Respect each other's privacy. Use 'I'. Avoid broad generalizations.Speak your truth. Stay positive, but honest.Ask WHY. If something's unclear, we push each other to clarify.We make decisions together. Nothing goes live unless we are both happy.We will make mistakes, tell me when so I can learn.____Do you want to learn more about Scrum? Follow us!Twitter / Facebook: scrumsup | Instagram: twoscrumsupFind out more about Alley at https://alley.co

Trite, perhaps, but true… The higher you go in an organization the more isolated you become. On today’s episode, Laura explores a few of the reasons leaders are lonely, often feel isolated, and how to get the support they need to lead effectively and with confidence.   Explore your thinking about leadership by listening to this episode of Making Space for Conversations that Matter, with host, Laura Prisc.   Laura’s Bio  If you’re not already familiar with her and are curious about who Laura is, what she believes, and what she feels called to create in the world, take a few minutes to peruse her website, read her blog, and listen to the other podcast episodes posted there. www.lauraprisc.com  You can also find her here:  Schedule a complimentary consultation  Laura by email  Request a copy of her book – Are Your Leaders Wide Awake?  LinkedIn  On Facebook 

Today we Run Our Filthy Mouths about: Nicole not watching the Oscars and JMS telling her everything she did NOT miss... Subscribe to PATREON! for exclusive live recordings, book readings, Q&As, and more! Subscribe to our YouTube to see past videos and clips! Join the Facebook group!  NERD MERCH! - Available HERE! Our hearts go out to the family of Starburns Audio CEO Jason Smith who passed this March, please consider donating to his family's gofund me HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris, Alex and Marsh boot up modern games made for ye olde machines (Micro Mages, Nox Archaist and Tanglewood), put the boot into baddies in Shady Knight, woodchip birdies in Journey to the Savage Planet and chop wood in Nordic survival hit Valheim. Marty O’Donnell primes his Plangent Hero Horn for the return of Six [...]

Trite or cliche as it may be, it is still true that children are our future. We must raise them well, guide their understanding of the world around them, and teach them to think for themselves. Today we attempt to gauge how people in general, and particularly young humans, view chickens, in order to survey the future of chicken management and defense. References: https://www.yourchineseastrology.com/zodiac/story/rooster.htm https://www.travelchinaguide.com/intro/social_customs/zodiac/rooster.htm https://animals.mom.com/how-fast-does-a-chicken-run-2515693.html https://www.eurosport.com/athletics/how-fast-does-usain-bolt-run-in-mph-km-per-hour-is-he-the-fastest-recorded-human-ever-100m-record_sto5988142/story.shtml The Cockadoodle Coup YouTube Music Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55y1Ih-OL6s&list=PL7_J2Ze6oiZoO7eMGLIyyzr1KgADPLvCP Credits (or blames): Written & Produced by Dan Grinstead; Voices: Dan Grinstead, Jackie Grinstead, other 'strangers'; Music: Pretzelhead --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

 Despite the fact that it's been less than a month since Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, and despite the fact that it's less than a month until the Presidential election; This week, the Senate Judiciary Committee started the confirmation hearings for Judge Amy Coney Barrett, who is Trump's nominee to replace The Gader on the Supreme Court. Amy Coney Barrett is an extremely religious and conservative judge who does not believe in gay marriage, a woman's right to choose, assisted suicide for the terminally ill, fertility treatments for families struggling to have children, or equal voting rights for all people. Julie & Brandy are absolutely horrified by her Corny ass being on the Supreme Court, because in addition to disagreeing with her (strongly) on all the aforementioned civil rights - they also believe (strongy) in the separation of Church & State. Trigger warning: the episode is savage and gives zero f*cks regarding religion & religious bigotry, so if you're looking for an unbiased & un-offensive rundown of Amy Coney Barrett- you're not gonna find it here.    ****************************************************************************************************************************      *** Subscribe to our PATREON PODCAST! https://www.patreon.com/dumbgaypolitics **** *** Check out our WEBSITE! https://www.julieandbrandy.com *****  DEALS FROM OUR SPONSORS! *** NATIVE DEODORANT:  Get 20% off your first order at NativeDeo.com/DGP (or use code DGP at checkout) *** *** FEALS PREMIUM CBD OIL: Get 50% off your first order and free shipping at feals.com/dumbgay *** ***** Dumb Gay Politics with Julie & Brandy **** Julie Goldman **** Brandy Howard **** Julie and Brandy *** The People's Couch *** DGP *** Gay Podcast *** Political Podcast *** Lesbian *** Bravo *** Starburns Audio Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

 Despite the fact that it’s been less than a month since Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, and despite the fact that it’s less than a month until the Presidential election; This week, the Senate Judiciary Committee started the confirmation hearings for Judge Amy Coney Barrett, who is Trump’s nominee to replace The Gader on the Supreme Court. Amy Coney Barrett is an extremely religious and conservative judge who does not believe in gay marriage, a woman’s right to choose, assisted suicide for the terminally ill, fertility treatments for families struggling to have children, or equal voting rights for all people. Julie & Brandy are absolutely horrified by her Corny ass being on the Supreme Court, because in addition to disagreeing with her (strongly) on all the aforementioned civil rights – they also believe (strongy) in the separation of Church & State. Trigger warning: the episode is savage and gives zero f*cks regarding religion & religious bigotry, so if you’re looking for an unbiased & un-offensive rundown of Amy Coney Barrett- you’re not gonna find it here.    ****************************************************************************************************************************      *** Subscribe to our PATREON PODCAST! https://www.patreon.com/dumbgaypolitics **** *** Check out our WEBSITE! https://www.julieandbrandy.com *****  DEALS FROM OUR SPONSORS! *** NATIVE DEODORANT:  Get 20% off your first order at NativeDeo.com/DGP (or use code DGP at checkout) *** *** FEALS PREMIUM CBD OIL: Get 50% off your first order and free shipping at feals.com/dumbgay *** ***** Dumb Gay Politics with Julie & Brandy **** Julie Goldman **** Brandy Howard **** Julie and Brandy *** The People's Couch *** DGP *** Gay Podcast *** Political Podcast *** Lesbian *** Bravo *** Starburns Audio Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

October is now well into autumn and the time for settling in and making plans.......and right now, the thoughts are centered around how it is -- no matter what happens to us, we are fine. Of course we are, for we are alive and breathing. Trite as that may sound, it is an important acknowledgement because there are indeed people who did not awaken today. They died.  When you open your day within that precious reality, it is easy to slide into gratitude.  Dr Deb Carlin and Tesaa Greenspan talk aobut how easy it is to make thankful a choice, happiness a decision. 

Boo! Real Art Please!

On this edition, Danny Pommells and Paul Hudrick discuss:(2:12) — Questioning Joel Embiid's game is like beating dead horse.(13:22) — Charles Barkley calls Moses Malone trade a disaster to his career.(20:20) — Would the season being cancelled be worse than watching our most hated rival winning the Finals?

Week 5 of our #CopingWithCovid19 series. Pastor Kyle references John 21 on how God’s truths can deeply resonate early in our faith, feel trite at times as life progresses, and then hit home in profoundly deeper ways as we grow in our faith.

Danny Pommells and Paul Hudrick to discuss:(0:44) — Bulls reportedly hire Sixers’ Marc Eversley as new GM.(6:47) — The Last Dance shows Michael Jordan holding a grudge.(13:41) — Dennis Rodman's team sanction hiatus in the middle of the season?Former Coach PJ Carlesimo joins the crew to discuss:(20:10) — Coaching Michael Jordan in the 1992 Olympics.(29:48) — Relationship with Brett Brown goes to the 1980s and his role in the Spurs champions runs.(35:09) — It was obvious how good Michael Jordan was when he was at North Carolina.(33:09) — Coach Jim Lynam was a great coach and amazing mentor.(40:00) — Unfair to expect for the Simmons and Embiid to win championships this early in their careers.(45:09) — Trite to call the process a failure if the Sixers don't win a championship.(49:37) — Though Al Horford would mesh better with the team.(53:09) — Trite to call the process a failure if the Sixers don't win a championship.

Postoji jedna zanimljiva priča koju sam vam ispričao u ovom videu, koja je meni veoma draga, a koja na jedan zanimljiv način govori o tome kako da povećate produktivnost. Za povećanje produktivnosti nije dovoljno samo da naporno radite, nekad je potrebno i da radite pametno. To zapravo podrazumeva da se zaustavite i da se zapitate da li možda postoji neki drugi, bolji način da se nešto odradi. Pored toga, važno je i da se redovno odmarate, kako bi se napunili energijom potrebnom za naredne poslovne poduhvate.

Today, I share a part of my story of loss. Elaine Brenner is my guest host as I move behind the microphone, telling the truth of my collision with death and surgery. As I listened to this episode, I still felt the loss; there is so much more that I would like to tell or share, the ways that Mercy and Moses and pain have impacted and changed me. But I offer this glimpse into my story, hoping it will help you as you live through your own challenge or help a friend through theirs.   11:01 – Liesel Mertes But once you bury your child it's like. Oh there's nothing more to be done. You know there's nothing more to be done and you're just left at the finality of it all. It's hard because I feel like grief is such a profoundly isolating emotion. You know everybody's grief is singular to their experience.   INTRO   Today, my dear friend Elaine Brenner is guest-hosting, interviewing me as I share my story.  I talk about the death of my daughter, Mercy Joan, and the multiple open heart surgeries for Moses.  I consider on the limited tool-kits that we have for grief, the fear of forgetfulness, and releasing myself from the expectation of doing grief “well”.   - Elaine Brenner So tell me a little bit about yourself please. Well how do you spend your days?   - Liesel Mertes Well, I'm the mom of four busy young kids. They range in age eleven down to almost five. Moses has a birthday at the beginning part of June. So that's Ada is eleven. Magnus is nine. Jemima is six and Moses is almost five. So, they're busy in their own kind of way. Luke is my husband; we have a rescue dog named Tozer who he's been running away this summer but is hopefully going to replace the battery on his electric collar so hopefully he'll spend a little bit more time at home.   And we love the outdoors. We love hiking around Indianapolis. We're big fans of paddle boarding and kayaking. These are some of the things that we like to do around the city backyard bonfires.   - Elaine Brenner And do you stay at home with the kids? Do you work outside the home?   - Liesel Mertes Yeah I'm in the midst of launching this new entrepreneurial venture. For about the last year or so of which the podcast is one part of it.   What we want to do is to be able to Handle with Care create a software based tool that really helps managers and co-workers be able to know what to say and what to do as people go through disruptive life events. They feel usually pretty overwhelmed and under equipped in that kind of deer in the headlights moment where they say, oh no I have no idea what to say. And to be able to provide like targeted real time instruction of just behaviors that communicate care you know somebody who's come back from a funeral and their manager is going to see them in the next five minutes to be able to watch a little two to four minute micro learning module that says hey here two good things to say here.   Three things that you should never say and they can chance to practice and to be able to go in and then confidently be able to say something that communicates care and that's something that's really missing. Yeah.   - Liesel Mertes As I talk with people around town you can just see it in their eyes you know I was with a woman over coffee who's a prominent lawyer here in town and, and she goes:  Oh yeah, you know the year where my mom and my only sibling died within six months of each other and nobody knew what to say or what to do.   So, I think there is I think there is both a market need and a human need.   - Elaine Brenner I think there's a human need outside the workplace too. I don't think there is a lot of expertise or knowledge around what to say what to do how to handle when friends or family go through times like that.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah. And that I mean most of us have had that experience at least at some point of even you reflect on the comfort that you've just offered and you go Oh my gosh, I said the wrong thing too, shoot.   - Elaine Brenner Yeah yeah. So tell me about your own experiences with the grief where you crossed paths and that same way.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, well I didn't really have that many people die or super sad things happen in my youth. I had a grandmother die which was sad but expected until it wasn't really. You know my major intersection with a disruptive life event first happened it was I was getting ready to start a grad program down at the Kelley School and they, they offered me acceptance and a week later I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant with our third child.   - Elaine Brenner And how old were your first two?   - Liesel Mertes They were three and one, so little at the time, they were little. And I thought that's OK. We can manage it well we'll figure it out. I was even prepared I was gonna lead a student trip to Ghana in the second semester and I remember pitching to the student services and saying, I will have delivered you know this little girl a couple weeks before but I'm sure that she can come I've travelled internationally with babies before like they're super easy. Like, I had a very blithe sort of an idea of how the young having a baby in grad school and all the things I was going to look at that was in 2010 but my 20 week scan they saw that Mercy.   - Liesel Mertes That's what we named her, Mercy. Joan had a pretty profound gall hadn't closed. There's a category called a neural tube defect. So, if it's lower its spinal bifida if it's higher it's anencephaly, which is always terminal. But with this encephalocele, she had this large fluid filled sac on the back of her head and the doctors weren't sure. They said there's a range of outcomes we could be able to do surgery. She could have know mild disabilities all the way to this could be terminal. So, we were meeting with neurosurgeons and hospice and still going like to finance class and traveling out from Bloomington.   - Liesel Mertes  And I had taken care of two small and taking care of two small children. And Luke, Luke was helping. I delivered her on February 15th in 2011 full term full term. And it was it was clear that doing anything would be doing things to her and not for her.   - Elaine Brenner But you didn't know that priority for those 20 weeks you're operating kind of limb right.   - Liesel Mertes Just waiting and her spinal column was hollow and she had this lack of connectivity. She couldn't breathe on her own she had to be intubated right away.   So, so they, they took her and got an MRI right after she was born and they came back and they said you know she's not a candidate for surgery which is horrible. I mean it's horrible. We spent two, she lived most of her days in the hospital. It felt important to not have her be alone. We had we had a family that had come from all across the US. She was always being held we had people take different night shifts and everybody knew that what her diagnosis was. So my sister would play the ukulele for my brother.   - Liesel Mertes  He wanted to show her a clip from Last of the Mohicans because he felt like no, no one should that's an important life experience, just seeing this. And she died after eight days of life. We were able to take her to a home hospice.   - Liesel Mertes And then like you wake up the next morning to your still two living children and you know that the life that extends beyond that moment is   - Elaine Brenner So for you as I've been thinking about this one thing, I wondered there is a particular kind of grief that happens when you're faced with the unknown. For those 20 weeks of maybe it could be mild disability maybe it could be death. And then the grief of post mortem you know post Mercy having died. How did those times differ for you?   - Liesel Mertes That's a good question. As, as she was still in utero you know we had a reason to be hopeful. You could still, I mean I remember like pray and every time going for these scans we had to come up to Indianapolis and thinking like maybem maybe it's possible maybe she could just be, she'll just be right. You know maybe she'd be OK. Which was profoundly disappointing. You know in its own way although, although I didn't necessarily think like it's gonna have you know every time it's like now it's still there.   - Liesel Mertes  Right. Still there. And there's also that time is full of still a lot of like planning and logistics and you figuring out like care for your older children and hospital visit. So, there's something like distracting in its own way of all the things that need to be done. But once you bury your child it's like, oh there's nothing more to be done. You know there's nothing more to be done and you're just left at the finality of it all. It's hard because I feel like grief is such a profoundly isolating emotion.   - Liesel Mertes  You know everybody's grief is singular to their experience. Luke, my husband, um you would want to think you're the other parent like you've shared this thing with me if anyone can get me in this. It should be you. But he was so compromised in his own way that you realize like the support you can offer the other person is really limited. And his grief journey was colored by his own moment. Like, I would have moments where I would feel like I can't do anything I can't go on. I'm so sad.   - Liesel Mertes  And he would feel important for him to be like, no I need to just get a house we've got to do something we need something normal. And like the way that you miss each other in those moments I think it's hard.   – Elaine Brenner I think it's hard in any relationship but especially in a marriage relationship. It has to be hard to allow the other person to do the thing that they need to do. If it is absolutely not the thing that you yes. To be able to grant that like OK this can be your journey.   - Liesel Mertes It also necessitates, I find for me, like finding supportive people who were they can sometimes talk about like circles of grief like people who are most closely impacted and then as you get out then there's like OK family there next and then there's maybe like friends and then there's acquaintances and the further out you are from the circle, like that interior circle, the more you have a capacity to actually offer care because you are not going through your own stuff in the same kind of way.   - Liesel Mertes And there are definitely people that really stepped out for me in that and I realized how much I needed that like I couldn't just if I was just depending on like Luke. You have to be something for me. I would be profoundly disappointed and I would be disappointing. And the question like you asked about their grief afterwards. I was just I was tired.   - Liesel Mertes I'm someone who, something I like about myself as I have a pretty wide capacity to like take on tasks and relationships. I like that I can handle a number of things and to just know in a physical sense like, no I can't, like I can be a fraction in all of these roles of what I was and to set with like I'm not like in my mind I was like I'm not a good daughter right now. And like I'm not a good mom I'm not a good student. Like, compared to what I was I felt like I was, just operating on like, two cylinders and that was more of an internal thing would be like I don't like myself right now.   - Liesel Mertes  All right I feel like I'm such a I like shadow version and to wonder like do other people like being with me because I don't even really like being with me right now.   - Elaine Brenner Well it takes grief takes up so much of the margin in your life capacity wise emotionally physically everything else but there's just so little left right to take on anything else.   - Liesel Mertes Exactly. I was like I'm, I'm so much less, .   - Elaine Brenner  So this really is the best version of myself.   - Liesel Mertes Right. And I don't like, I don't like it and I'm sure you don't like it. Yeah yeah. So.   - Elaine Brenner So what ended up happening from a grad school standpoint? And how did you continue with the program?   - Liesel Mertes I did. So, Mercy was born. I don't know if it was a serendipitous timing. There's never a great time for a child to die but it was right at the beginning of spring break that actually my water broke and I delivered her so is this interesting time in that there was this totally intense week. And then for us, I was in the midst of grief; you just feel things really, there I felt in my experience the things I knew I wanted I wanted very strongly and there were lots of things I didn't know I wanted but it felt really important.   - Liesel Mertes  I was like, we have to get out of town like we have to. So, I called the woman who was, she didn't know me that well, she was my mentor within the program and I said, Can you please use your house in Arizona? And my daughter just died. It's just hard to say no to that. So, we went to Arizona for a week but then we came back and it was time to start the second semester   -  Elaine Brenner And talk about the challenges there.   -  Liesel Mertes I'll step back for a second. Something that was that made that return to what was ostensibly my place of employment easier was actually, I you really I look back in this work that I'm doing and think, I was well met by people there, they um they had a director of Student Services Gayle and Gayle had just, you know, kept her abreast of what was happening but she she showed up like in the hospital room in Indianapolis She had with her a handwritten note from the Dean of the business school and again.   - Liesel Mertes She she said at the time, she said you know, is it would you be OK if I let all of your professors know just so you're not having to explain it all the time. She functioned as something of a point person. She got all the news of like funeral details. I had a number of people for my MBA cohort that showed up actually to the funeral of the Dean of students was there. Gail was there all of which I didn't actually change like the horrible reality that she had died. And it was super hard but it did make me think when it was time to return of like OK.   - Liesel Mertes Like people have seen me. It's not gonna be this orphaned experience but still there were the challenges coming back because I'd been so visibly pregnant and some people had known like that it was kind of a complicated pregnancy other people just knew I was pregnant right. So, I come back and I'm not pregnant. And, of course, you know people are like you had the baby and like they're excited.   - Liesel Mertes Right. And that you know it's just passing in between classes and then is that choice of like, I feel like I have what.  So, it's and it's a strange thing that can happen then you find yourself like managing their response because they're obviously like devastated they thought they were just going to finance class.   – Elaine Brenner Right now I'm the person that asked a woman and child and then you find yourself sometimes uncomfortably.   - Liesel Mertes I mean I had to I had to actually coach myself to not do that because you can get in the mode of being like No it's okay. I know you didn't know.   - Liesel Mertes And then that's like doubly emotionally draining to me. So, I had to be like you know it is not my job to manage them but I mean that was exhausting some way. And some people were like some people did find I just remember one, one woman in the bathroom and I told her and she's trying to care for me and she's just like she's, she's running through her mental database. And when she came on she was like You know I read this this story and I think I was like a Maori tradition that dead children become butterflies.   - Liesel Mertes And she just left it hanging there. I just remember like I wasn't so much I was deeply offended but I was just like, I don't, I don't even know what do I do. To say it and I was like well there's a lot of butterflies this time of year.   - Elaine Brenner Let's get back to class. I got it.    -  Liesel Mertes I decided I was taking a fuller load. I was taking an Excel spreadsheet modeling class that everybody said was like a super great class to take. And I remember, it was like two days before classes were about to start. I remember looking at my schedule being like, I don't have to take that class and I I'm not going I'm not going to take that class. Same thing, the summer internship is a big thing in business school and I'd had it like all lined up I interviewed and I remember taking stock and thinking, you know there are a number of reasons this would be good to do but I don't actually have to..   - Liesel Mertes And that took its own, I mean, I felt for me and wanting to please people and do the right thing it took its own amount of courage to be like, I'm not actually going to definitely I'm not I'm gonna like have some time to be a year to be present with whatever is going to come up so that that summer and that spring like I made time to like, I'm just gonna go for super long walk and be with myself and try to distract myself.   - Elaine Brenner So when I think something that has always, always impressed me about you or I've always noticed about you is your intentionality around grief that I didn't know you at that time but I think I met you pretty shortly after that and the way that you honor your grief and probably your family's grief too. And Mercy and how that even all these years later it's still a mark for you. You know you still come back to it and you honor it. You don't push it away. That was a long time ago. I don't need to worry about it.   - Elaine Brenner  I don't need to feel it but you allow space for it. So, what types of things do you do now that allow you to kind of visit that and give it the space it needs?   - Liesel Mertes So, it is something that we've tried to, to build into our family rhythms to talk purposefully about with our children we wanted to you know that's a that's a that's another like, very broad and important you know conversations like, how do you how do you do that with children?   - Liesel Mertes I've gone through the loss and you know how do I attune myself to their grief was still in the midst of my own and honor that it's been important to talk about with our children our two children that have come after Mercy of understanding like this. She is a part of our family her picture, so we have pictures that are up in our house and a prominent sort of a place some tactile things. My mom, she makes beautiful quilts. She had made to she, she felt just in in her spirit like that she would die. So she, ahead of time, it just felt important to her that we're making these two little quilts to bury Mercy.   And one for me to have so that's still like I'm very prominently atop my desk in my room. So it's important to see things. And that's something that people gave us like different gifts. There was photographers. We have a friend who is, he is very artistic photography is one of his expressions, Mark. And he came down from Chicago to take pictures of Mercy while she was still alive. So I treasure those thinking and to have them.   People give us things like shawls or, we have a box that has like her physical memories in it. And I can't quite bring myself to like, I still I think I have I think I wrote a note on the back of a receipt that I taped to the door in the hospital of like hey I went down to get food. You know if anyone visits but even that like it is just like a physical marker of the time right. Can't quite bring myself to like get rid of this scerawled note that I got the receipt right.   - Liesel Mertes But year in and year out from the time of year February is um, I still feel it like physically in my body the anticipation of it. Those days feel momentous. Luke and I for a while we, we would go away together around that time which was its own mixed bag.   - Liesel Mertes Sometimes when you're missing each other then there are years where I feel like I was I just got away by myself. I tried to share this with you not so much about him but about right. I don't know, I never quite know what I need or want right because and I've had to like learn how to release that in an annual way.   - LIesel Mertes So we've tried a number of different things. What I have to release emotionally is that no matter what we do it never feels good like it never feels right. And I can get into this cycle of like   -  Elaine Brenner I haven't quite scratched that itch.   - Liesel Mertes I haven't done it like especially from my personality like I haven't executed well the grief. I want to honor a lot of. And I just it was like I don't know maybe six years ago or seven that I really like it's always gonna feel bad because she's always dead.   - Liesel Mertes That's sad. And like you can't ever get around that like it can be the day that like touch it you know checks all these boxes and I will always feel like exhausted and incomplete because it is incomplete like right then it isn't right. It's not right isn't right. And it feels like   -  Elaine Brenner Cupcakes don't make it right.   -  Liesel Mertes Cupcakes are great right. You get it from a good place. But yeah they they don't touch that reality anymore.   - Elaine Brenner I'm wondering after Mercy died what ways because part of your job was school and part of your job was mom. And so, what ways did you find or looking back do you find that you were missed and those capacities? And did people tell you or did you just intuit it because you're you?   - Liesel Mertes How Mercy's death intersected with aspects of like faith or purpose or who you know I was in the universe or who kind of like those were major themes like me you have something horrible happen. There was a lot of those things called everything into question. And there is a certain way that people of faith can talk about death which can, can feel really packaged and switching. Kind of like cliched and it was out of a number of well-meaning places but like well there's, there's a higher purpose in all this.   -  Elaine Brenner And I made an angel.   -  Liesel Mertes Oh that was one of the worst statements like that God needed an angel just those like pat phrases that I felt like flattened out the reality of like you're seeing me like you just saying a thing even if I might come around and like the thing you're saying like that deliver you right.  It felt abrasive and it felt like there was no great way to respond to that. Like even if I was at a place where I just thought like, That's crazy, you're like you, you can't really say that somebody is dumb.   - Liesel Mertes So you left to the position of just like nodding kind of I and maybe, maybe if I had a little more chutzpah. I think it's I think I would artfully say that now to people who like who I observed saying those things, you know, I might pull him aside after that think, like, I do really want to imply what is being implied in that?   -  Elaine Brenner Right. Yeah. So I think it's it's a lack of those ways and lack of knowing. Again, I think this speaks to the work that you're doing the lack of knowing what to say right in the void of options. People pick the thing that's most palatable to them. What was recently said to them right.   -  Liesel Mertes They have a limited toolkit. Yeah. Like I've got a hammer, I've got a wrench and I've got God has a purpose. So and like, the upside people who did things well I mean I am what I really I didn't even know what I wanted.   - Liesel Mertes I can't even say like I wanted this and people failed. But something that felt meaningful was that people were just like, that's really hard right. I can remember telling someone and, and he was he just drives like that's just one of the worst things I've ever heard. He, he, he dropped an expletive he was like, Yeah. And I felt like resonant in its own way.   You know it is physical gestures. I remember like I'm Mercy died, she died around maybe ten thirty p.m. And then there was this like process wanting to like spend time with her body that felt important and you know we wanted to do things like get footprints or handprints, where you didn't wanna do that while she was alive.   - Liesel Mertes So my mother and father-in-law and I were doing that, but by the time the undertaker came, you know it's such a strange thing you know this person who arrives at like 3:00 in the morning in a black suit. And he came with like a quilt that they put, I have always appreciated even that little attunement. I got him to say waking up the next morning…   - Elaine Brenner And you'd given birth giving birth eight days beforehand. So, all of this like regardless of the outcome you're still a person who has recovery   - Liesel Mertes Um but I remember waking up and you don't even know like having encounter that day and my sister came downstairs just kind of silently with an English muffin. And I was like, yeah, I do just like one in English you to eat and eat um and, and especially in the immediacy, like people showed up to clean my house or detail my car right give us gift certificates. Easter was not so long after and I just felt horrible, it felt horrible to be doing like Easter. I felt horrible, like the weather was crummy and, you know, we had an MCL gift certificate which at least I was like, well at least we can get something that's you know we can eat.   - Liesel Mertes So those, those physical gestures felt like deeply meaningful and right it somebodies frames couldn't quite hit the mark.   – Elaine Brenner So and talking about those kinds of gestures and talk about say the ensuing months were there things that people did. You've talked about Gail and Mark from student services and the photographer to me. Those things strike me as things that only that person was able to do or that that person specifically was able to do maybe that, you know, Gail couldn't have shown up and taking great photographs you know. So what were things, what are the things that stand out now as you look back over the ensuing months that people did to support you that were unique or specifically very helpful?   - Liesel Mertes That question makes me think of people who gave out of there, like you said, people came out of a specific skill set, like the person in detail my car and I'm like, he was just really good at cleaning out cars. So, he felt like, you should have this. I could do it. You should have a clean car when you drive to the funeral, which I never would have thought of asking for.   - Liesel Mertes I didn't I, I in my mind, didn't think I cared about my floorboards and I probably didn't you know notice that but to, to ask yourself, what what am I good at doing that I can give freely because sometimes people offer help to people in grief like, let me know if there's anything I can do and what if someone says to you I'd like for you to watch my children and you think I hate children and   -  Elaine Brenner You don't want me to watch your children.   -  Liesel Mertes Right. So, to be able to think specifically like, I am really great at mowing the lawn and I do it on Tuesdays and Thursdays.   – Elaine Brenner Well plus, I say the hard thing about when someone says, let me know what I can do I'll do anything. Then you're just putting the onus back on the person that you know barely has the energy to shower much less put together the schedule that they have or whatever.   - LIesel Mertes Exactly so to be able to do it what you can offer meals were great. As I as I said we were living in Bloomington. So, there were people who drove down you know the like clean our house. I. It was later, I mean Mercy died in February, by Christmas time that you know even that next Christmas time, I felt still it's like such a low ebb. My mom was like, I'm going to decorate your house for Christmas like, which was great. I always appreciated people checking in. I think sometimes there is this fear of like if I bring this up you're gonna be sad.   - Liesel Mertes  And I remember even, you know, just my, my business school classmates who would who would ask like, hey you know, how are you doing with your sadness? And even to the level of people who were insightful enough to say, I know this can be like hard on your marriage how are you doing with you and Luke. And there were sometimes that I didn't want to talk about that like that's also it's good to ask those questions.   - Liesel Mertes You also should be prepared that sometimes people want to talk about that and sometimes they might not and not be offended and be like, you didn't want to I asked you this. So, people who can like take that with an open hand. And also, I think something that was helpful was like there were times where I was I was just doing my work like I was facilitating conversation or preparing for a presentation and like doing a good job and to be able to just recognize that like you did a really good job in that presentation. I think for me and a lot of people you you can doubt your competence and capacity. So for people that come alongside and be like that's a great point.   - Elaine Brenner So you then had Moses and the experience with Moses could potentially have been similar. So talk about that a little bit.   - Liesel Mertes Well so, it's this totalizing thing to have a child that we knew when I have children after Mercy. Jemima was our next little baby. She's delightful she's almost seven. Thankfully, I actually didn't feel like that was a pregnancy that was overshadowed by a lot of apprehension or fear. It could have been it just wasn't, in my experience. There was something that I felt was different with Moses. We were we were going to go on vacation over with, with extended family over New Year's. And I remember feeling as we were down on this beach just thinking like, and I had a 20 week scan coming up in January and just the sense of, I just, for whatever reason, like I can't wait for that to be over. And it was just this like kind of like hang, hanging I haven't felt that with Jemima, I just want it to be past that in a roundabout way. That felt like aspect of confirmation as we went in. And once you've had a complicated pregnancy, they tend to take you for a more in-depth scan and that the doctors were up in Indianapolis. They said it's a boy.   And um and they left and Luke and I had maybe five minutes of sitting there and we actually said to each other isn't it so great to be in this space so many people are getting such hard news. Isn't it great. Just not. And look we're going to have sons; he'd always wanted a brother. So this was gonna be the second boy. And so, then that moment where the doctor comes back to tell us about Moses his heart condition, which is unrelated in any way to what Mercy had to say.   He's he's entirely missing one of his valves. Tetralogy of fallot with pulmonary atresia. It's, it's different in the last 30 years what they can do with the heart is staggering, that I heard someone say I think was my father. The brain is much more like a complex computer. If something goes wrong with that, you know just the impact is huge and very complex. Whereas the heart is much more it's like a pump, you know and how they show this condition actually and Riley specifically is a fantastic hospital doctor John Brown pioneered some of the cutting edge procedures and he was Mo’s surgeon.   So all those aspects of prognosis were better. You know if you're going to paint a rosy picture of like, well this is better   -  Elaine Brenner But 20 week scan 20 week scan.   -  Liesel Mertes Right. Right. And the horrible thing of just being confronted again with like there's something I can't control for my child and I'm so sad about that. I didn't, somebody could very legitimately feel like, why me like I, that actually, I felt occasional aspects of that but it was more this sense of like, oh I've stepped in the world of now like I've heard so many stories like this complicated things wrong miscarriages disabilities young children dying. If anything it felt like, it is a crapshoot. And totally random. Why not me again.   -  Liesel Mertes It's a different journey with surgeries and medical intervention and preparing, you know Moses had his first surgery when he was six days old so I remember like, again, delivering a baby. We couldn't even be in the same hospital; he was taken by ambulance I delivered him at Methodist he had to be taken by ambulance to a different hospital down the road with Luke. So, we're not even in the same building. I'm having to get chauffeured over there by taxi. He's gonna have surgery five days five or six days later.   So I'm figuring out like logistics for my other kids. Magnus is having preschool graduations. I'm three days postpartum bringing cupcakes to Magnus and then going to Riley where Moses is in surgery and just all of these like moving parts. And Moses has had subsequent surgeries, he's had a couple of catheterizations and few open heart surgeries. The support around our family of like preparing for surgery again. Meals, help with children. Something that was so particular is we have had a group of people who have stayed with Moses through the night at the hospital. You Elaine are one of those lovely people because we can’t stay 24 hours.   -  Elaine Brenner But I think that speaks to your again your ability to kind of honor what the needs are in the moment because I think there are many people who certainly could benefit from having people around them do that and probably have the people around them willing to do that. I mean I know I felt both I don't know. Honored and sort of special that you would trust me to stay with this baby you know and in the hospital and while you could sleep and liking to be asked and liking to be able to do it. But I think there are a lot of people who don't know themselves well enough to know that they would need it or even if they know it feel that they couldn't write well   -  Liesel Mertes And maybe, maybe that circles around to like I don't remember ever feeling shamed by asking for help although that was a fear right. Like, I think if anybody would have done that to me it could have caused significant shut down like, if somebody had met me and been like why do you need. Like, shouldn't you be with your baby through night.   Which maybe gets to like the importance of healthy people if somebody does actually ask try not to make them feel like a burden. I can have its own, but yeah I feel like people honored that and it was super helpful and important. And then there's, like you just need this new support in the aftermath of you know like after heart surgery he, you're kind of homebound for a while because he can't get sick. He can't go out. So, having people come and visit and or take the other children out there are people who is a great thing to be able to do.   We had people friends of my parents who they've taken upon themselves that anytime Mo’s having surgery like they're going to bring a bunch of food to the waiting room because we're usually there through lunch.   I think you've been there and so you know I think in the past we've gone. Indian food delivered or brisket. It was great like the last time we had this fantastic barbecue and the physicians came out these this surgeon and the attending surgeon and they gave us the news and it was this gift that we've been given to have food but we're able to actually extend that to them. Dr. Brown would you like to have some? Yes he does. I'd like to do that before. So there's things that we're good.   I like cards; I like it when people check in. You didn't ask this, but I think sometimes, especially people who are far away and they wonder how they can be supportive. I've had friends likes and Starbucks gift cards or just emails and I always appreciate that.   -  Elaine Brenner So do you think your experience with Mercy when you got the news about Moses. Were there things that you thought you know. Again not not the same but you were sort of dealing with that limbo feeling of, of what's going to happen here and just the grief of I know this isn't going to be smooth sailing from here on out. So were there things when you got the news about Moses that you thought, OK I know I need to handle this differently I know I need to do this?   -  Liesel Mertes Yeah I think that I, I feel very refreshed by being outside by moving like to be in like to go on a walk or to be on a trail run or paddle board feels it's something that fills my cup in particular ways. So, I think I knew that about myself in a different way. That's, that's not a selfish thing. That's an important thing. So, I should honor that. I think I knew I knew more about that stage of life how I, I wanted a community of people that were like in it.   I had realized actually that to be able to talk about your struggles or the hard things actually I had found opened up a vulnerability in other people. And like, they move towards me and support, like I had found, whether that was in a women's study group that I was in or just like friends at that stage of life had actually been a really true way of connecting. So, so I was much more comfortable like putting that out there and expecting that people would meet me right.    - Liesel Mertes I, even though we anticipated it. I mean, it's hard on your marriage and there's a reason statistically, I mean, people will quote anywhere from 60 to 80 percent of marriages where a child dies end in divorce. And it was, even though I anticipated it would again, be super hard and stressful in my marriage in a way that you know, we've, we've had to revisit in subsequent an important marriage counseling. And even, even like knowing that I would actually say that the stress of there was the stress of Moses but like the stress that it was in my marriage and in my relationships only like compounded and exacerbated that I don't evenm, I mean maybe if we had had better self-knowledge and counseling prior to that we'd had counseling but yeah, I'm sure it was impactful. We've had more targeted better counselling since then.   -  Liesel Mertes I wish that could have been different, but it almost felt like inevitable because for both Luke and I so value our parenting. You know, we will take our stress out on your kids, but there is this sense of like, I am so stressed out there's so many things I shouldn't take it out on my children I'm gonna really try hard not to. And they're just relentless. Children are relentless. They, they kind of know, they kind of have a sense but they just need a lot because they're kids. And so, you can spend all day keeping it in check and trying to do a good job. But then when it comes to the other adult in the household if they need anything or step out of line it can feel so like deeply offensive like you to like how great you need something or how could you drop the ball.   And that is its own, you know I don't want to be that way in any of my relationships like that begrudging of like, there's no space for you to be weak but in a roundabout way, like that would be the outplay of it. So, I wish I could have been different. I'm, I'm glad that we weathered it enough but that was like a painful aspect of something that even I could see coming. But almost like it couldn't stop the train right because it was so immediate.   - Elaine Brenner You're just surviving better.   - Liesel Mertes We don't do that as much. But then again, we don't have a child like in medical crisis. And our kids are a little older. It changes it.   -  Elaine Brenner So so, given that now you've gone through these two in some way similar but very different kind of grief inducing experiences, what insights do you have to share with someone else going through something similar?   - Liesel Mertes It's going to be really hard. It's just really sad, especially if it's touching on the health of your children. I mean it is. You never think that you would have to bury a child is horrible, horrible. It's universally recognized as horrible.   I, I felt, you know for me again like God and purpose, like I felt God as gentle towards me in the midst of that. And especially like there are people that might encounter like someone might be listening and you might not have a great community you might be surrounded by people who are like rushing you or don't have time for your sadness. And that's really hard. I hope that people can be gentle with themselves to allow themselves the space to be like a day might be full of so many complicated emotions.   You know, you might be like sad detached happy over like, in the space of an hour and just, like give yourself the space to have grief be messy and nonlinear. But I have also experienced that there were chapters like beyond the immediacy of that grief. And that's not to paint some rosy picture like oh it's all gonna be better because I mean sometimes it's worse or different but just that like it will not it will not feel the same as it does right now.   - Liesel Mertes Knowing, knowing things that are life giving you might not know much. You might only know like I love eating french bread right now. Or like I just I really need to go for a walk or you know I, if, if you know it like, it's good to pay attention to your gut and what is leading you in. And that there's like, I don't know there's different ways to carry it. There is a hardness but also a sweetness to like…I, I am, over the years like integrating Mercy a lot more into my life. But like my, I think that fear is like, that this person will be forgotten like no one might, my child will fade.   I don't know. I don't even have something like that a real thing. But I find, year in and year out like, she continues to be an important part of our, our family and our, I think and this is like a roundabout way for, for anyone who is in a caregiving position like, you work with someone or you care for them, that that with a child who has died like that is a real fear:  no one, one I will.   I, I mean, I was even feeling this last year. It is important to be able to carry that memory with them, you know, if you're someone that remembers their name and they remembers their birthday that is willing to speak that it's always meaningful to me.   - Liesel Mertes It like, even people who, you know, maybe they read like the blog I was keeping at the time and they told me years later and it feels like, well it feels like one more way that Mercy is made real in the world. But even this last year I was I was reflecting on my, my parents died, like I was picturing myself as an 80 year old woman, should I live that long. And I was like, right now my kids like, I take them to remember Mercym like we do things but I'll probably be living their whole lives like when they're in their 50s or 60s like, will this day still be important to them?   Like I hope they still remember, but like my mom will be dead, my dad will probably be dead. You know, all these people. And I was like, I'm going to be like celebrating Mercy's birthday all by myself. So, I called to my sister, I was like well you do like little road trips with me? We could do that because from your entire life know that might still be the case but I'd love to just hope that I have the necessary resilience to deal with that.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   It is a particular thing to really listen to and reflect on your own story. I can hear some themes that remain the same over the years and others that have shifted and changed with time. We are always in the process of becoming alongside of our stories.  But for today, here are a few key takeaways that I have, after listening to my story.    When you offer help to someone that is hurting, give specific examples of ways you want to help instead of a vague, “Just let me know if you need anything.” This statement puts the pressure of imagining tasks and organizing logistics back on the grieving person and sets you up for failure if they ask you to do something that you can’t or don’t want to deliver on. Be purposeful and careful with your language around purpose and meaning, especially well-meaning clichés. Take a moment to pause before you speak.  Trite turns of phrase are rarely comforting and often hurtful.  Instead, offer a hug or a sincere, “I am so sorry you are going through this.”  You don’t have to make meaning for a person that is hurting. A real fear for parents of dead children is that their child will be forgotten. Take time to write down important dates like birthdays.  Remember the parents around Mother’s or Father’s Day. Take time to say the child’s name or ask the parent to share a memory.  These acts of attention and intention are so meaningful.   OUTRO

Are the BBC Proms elitist? In Feedback this week, the Controller of the Proms David Pickard passionately rejects suggestion. "Trite and naïve." That was Rajan Datar's view of Norman Tebbit's cricket test. Was the presenter guilty of being judge and jury - opinionated when he should have been impartial? And two listeners review Private Passions, a programme they would not normally switch on. Would they do so a second time? Presenter: Roger Bolton Producer: Kate Dixon Executive Producer: Samir Shah A Juniper Connect production for BBC Radio 4

En este episodio post-show, aconsejamos a oyentes sobre preguntas sobre qué hacer si solo atraes hombres con novias, una jeva que se cotiza, una muchacha con unas tetas un poco triste y mucho más! si quieres apoyar, https://www.patreon.com/lenguascalvas

This week the boys discuss little bummers and restaurant chain spin-offs.

You probably stayed up all night long watching the highs and lows of 2019's Academy Awards. But even if you did that already, you probably have some opinions on it, right?  Perhaps you think the winner of Best Picture didn't deserve it. Perhaps you're wondering why only the media seem to even care about it anymore. Perhaps you're wondering why YOU even care about it anymore. Or maybe you just think it's time to take it out to the nearby field and shoot it in the head. Whatever your opinion of the Oscars, we have similar things to say about it in our rant. I mean, podcast.  Let us know what you think on Facebook, Twitter, leave us a review on iTunes, follow us on Spotify, and check us out on Instagram and eBay.

No, I’m not your teacher… Nor am I designed to be. The things that come from your being, simply disagree with me. I would hate to have to tell you something serious, as in a real truth, because the only thing you’d see is the spinach on my tooth. Trite, a bit, shallow, as sh@t. Not accustomed to the volume of my voice. Not comfortable when, and I say when, I choose to make a choice. Yet you, you want to continue to lavish us with condescending kisses. The are brutal, heavy, but mostly smooth so we don’t see you dismiss us. We are nothing to your world, your wonderful world of selfish gems. Do all that you can to make believe, do all you can to play pretend. The time will come, yes it is shortened when your decisions will be fluid. Not being able to lean on the lie that another made you do it. Take it raw, and take it deep, for it’s your own life on the line. After all, that’s all that you’ll have left since you don’t think much of mine. So with this truth, this truth with you I was so willing to share. Now, I’ll have to share it with the world… because you simply do not care. #earstohear #noitchingears #dontbelievethelie #truthnotreligion   Published at: http://tiffaneejacob.com/themissingtruth/

We'll never know who said it first, nor whether the coiner spoke sheepishly or proudly, angrily or slyly. As is often the case with offhand remarks that turn into maxims, the origin of It's not a bug, it's a feature is murky. What we do know is that the expression has been popular among programmers for a long time, at least since the days when Wang and DEC were hot names in computing.

Life and the world is impossibly complex. It’s normal to try to simplify things to help ourselves feel less out of control. But that’s also how we get trite phrases like “every cloud has a silver lining”, which can often hurt people when thrown around without care or empathy. In religion, this is done to verses from the Bible all the time. But, as Kyle’s experience and learning has taught him, the Bible is actually quite the opposite of trite!

Allen Ganett Show Notes Allen Ganett is the founder and CEO of TrackMaven, a marketing analytics service whose clients have included Microsoft, Marriott, Saks Fifth Avenue, Home Depot, Aetna, Honda, and GE. He has been on the “30 under 30” lists for both Inc. and Forbes. He is a contributor for FastCompany.com and has a new book, The Creative Curve, on the disciplined pursuit of creativity, from Currency, a division of Penguin Random House. He was also once a very pitiful runner-up on Wheel of Fortune. Most passionate about So, where I get really excited is this intersection between the left brain and the right brain; between our neurological selves and our creative selves. My company helps big brands find patterns in their marketing data, so they can figure out what their audience cares for, what stories they should tell, how they should resonate with their audience. My book is all about intersection; my argument is that creativity is something that’s learnable, something that’s nurture-able, and something you can work within a system for. So, this idea of sort of applying systems thinking to things that are more organic. That’s where I get most excited, because that’s where I feel you can unlock a lot of potential, whether that’s in marketing or within a person. Creativity may seem magical, but that doesn’t mean it is. The reality is that we actually know that creativity is simply how a right hemisphere processes information, our right hemisphere processes information by doing this more divergent thinking, where it brings together disparate ideas together to form something new and that’s not magic, that’s biology. Allen’s best advice about approaching customers The number one thing for any entrepreneur is to focus on problem solving, not problem finding. The key thing I see that a lot of first time entrepreneurs do is come up with some solution to some problem, and then they go, ‘Okay, so I have this big idea, now what’s the product that’s the market fit? What is the real problem I’m solving?’ Entrepreneurs start with the solution and go backwards, and what you find is that second time entrepreneurs focus on a big problem and the solution comes later, they frame their entire enterprise around ‘Okay how do we solve the big, hairy problem, how do we really nail that?’ That is what they focus on doing, and that, I think, is a very different set of skills, but one that’s very important. Don’t build a solution in a vacuum; it’s never actually going to be good enough. Biggest failure with a customer We had a customer early on, who was much bigger than any of our other customers; huge household name brand, they were about 10% of our revenue. They were not a good fit for the software; they didn’t fit the use case, they didn’t fit the ideal customer profile, they didn’t fit any of it. But, they really wanted the software and they pushed us, so we sold it to them. About a year later, when it came for renewal, they cancelled and it really hurt the business because it was this huge customer that represented a huge revenue loss. It was a really important lesson for me because it solidified this idea of good revenue and bad revenue. Not all revenue is good; if you take on a customer who is unprofitable, who is not going to pay back, who is going to take an undue amount of attention from the rest of your customers, or isn’t in your ideal customer profile, you are going to get hurt. That idea, the distinction between good and bad revenue, was a really valuable lesson for me. Biggest success due to the right customer approach So, we did a cut where we took all of our customer data, you know, retention, win rate, customer satisfaction, and we sliced it all up by industry and size and we found there were certain industries where the customers were happier, healthier, they renewed more, they bought more, they had higher customer satisfaction, and we...

It's graduation season! Graduation speeches often have similar themes and are filled with cliché catchphrases. Are any of these typical graduation platitudes actually helpful? What should we be encouraging our graduates toward? It seems we are preaching a different message on graduation day than we do in church every week. (We mostly attend graduations for homeschool and Christian school students...) You can do anything, you can be anything you want to be, follow your dreams....why are these NOT Biblical messages? Because they are contrary to what Jesus taught—deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus. What if instead of encouraging our graduates to dream big dreams, we encouraged them to pray big prayers? It's okay to have dreams and it's good to work hard, but are we really preparing our children for life by leaving out the parts where life is hard and dreams change and God calls us to do things we don't enjoy? And while we're on the topic of platitudes and trite sayings, we chat about the ridiculous messages we see on church signs around town. Poor doctrine and trite sayings do not seem to attract visitors. So what are churches trying to accomplish with their signs? We don't really know, but at least you'll enjoy laughing at a few of our favorites!

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 8, Galatians 2, Titus, Who was Titus, and how can his life's example help us to become and effective people navigator?

A lot of us live by a philosophy that we may not even be aware of. It’s called: Let me help you feel great while I feel miserable. Awesome philosophy, huh? We think it’s worth feeling like crap in order to have everything around us feel ok and controlled. But look at what you sacrifice for that to happen—and does it ever REALLY turn out ok? Are you free of resentment or do you feel like you’re owed something in return? When you allow yourself to do things that fill you up, you start living from a place of value and positive sense of well-being INSIDE. There is a cost associated with living for others, and it won’t ever make you happy. There aren’t enough “atta-boys” to fill the void. The small amount of validation we get from making others happy is never enough, and it’s not worth the cost to ourselves. People pleasing is one of the most dissatisfying exercises on the planet. We’re constant at the mercy of others—their moods, issues, whims. In the end, it doesn’t matter what other people think of you. Trite though it may seem, trying to please them won’t make you happy. On the contrary, there is a high personal cost to it. Is it worth sacrificing your happiness for theirs?

Michael, Deanna and Melissa chat about how the weekend proved hatred has no place in Canada. because it was a nice day, and it was the weekend, what else is love going to do? Love went down to counter protest 2 hours earlier and turned the damn thing into a block party.Also: Drag Queens kick ass, Thieves can still be dumb and Joss Whedon is a guy.

1. Artificial by The West Exit 2. A Better Plan by SharashkA 3. Hollywood Ending by Edie Carey 4. En la Oscuridad (feat Anji Bee) by Moosefrog 5. Jalouse by L 6. Something More by Erin Bode 7. Waking Up by Bitter:Sweet 8. Trite by Di Johnston Tracks 5,6,7,8 are from the IODAPromonet Tracks 2,3,4 are from the Podsafe Music Network Track 1 is from Magnatune

Ep 83 How to Give a Speech on World Peace without Sounding Trite - Public Speaking March 23 Thanks for listening to Speaking with TJ Walker. The show about public speaking, media training, presentation skills, crisis communications, and presentation training. Please send any speaking-related questions you have directly to TJ at tj@mediatrainingworldwide.com and he will answer them in future episodes.   Please connect with us at Media Training Worldwide and post your questions here http://www.mediatrainingworldwide.com/blog/   On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tjwalkerinteractive Twitter: https://twitter.com/tjwalker Linkedin: T.J. Walker Youtube  https://www.youtube.com/user/MediaTraining iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1072936158?mt=2&ls=1   Receive Free online Public Speaking or Media Training Course today http://www.mediatrainingworldwide.com/give-away.html   Call +1.212.764.4955 now to discuss a customized media training or presentation training program for you or your organization.   For keynote speech and media inquiries, call +1.212.764.4955   Online media and presentation training at  http://www.mediatrainingworldwide.com/online-training.html   Media Training Worldwide teaches people how to speak effectively to the media and to live audiences. We train people on all aspects of media training, public speaking, PowerPoint Presentations, crisis communications and presentation training.  

Instead, the gathered Throng only knows the SK that hates banana and believes that pineapple is a dish best served cold. Impulsive and shy, sensitive and in fear of dinosaurs, yet ever avid for a sad monkey that doesn't exist and reaching out for Christmas lights in the Hyatt Regency atrium. We should not insult the privacy of those in the bomb shelter - a privacy SK sought and treasured in the Palace Hotel restrooms.

This show is about chasing dreams. Making stuff happen. Helping others. And sharing the journey.We can all use a little education. Some solid information. And a dose of experience-based inspiration to guide our own path towards self-betterment. My goal is to help you see and understand that we are generally our own self-limiter. That we are all capable of being better and doing more, irrespective of circumstances. That we all have a more authentic self lying dormant within yearning to be more self-expressed.We owe it to ourselves to fertilize that seed. Why?Because life is short.Trite? yes. Cheesy? definitely. But nonetheless oh so true. Right now I'm up in Palo Alto at Stanford University for my 25th Reunion. 25 years since I graduated from college. How is that possible? Translation: I am old.Old is a mindset. Another lame idiom I choose to believe. Honestly, I feel like I am about 28. But this weekend made me acutely aware of the fleeting and transitory nature of our lives.It seems like yesterday I was in school with all these amazing people with whom I spent the last few days reconnecting and reminiscing. People that have ventured forth to do extraordinary things like found billion dollar startups; create non-profits that have helped millions; and launch movements that have forever altered how we think and live.This not hyperbole. This is Stanford — a place; an institution; and a mindset that fosters the ethos that truly anything is possible. That you should challenge authority. That you must question the status quo. It's a culture that empowers the philosophy that not only can you change the world, but that it’s in fact your responsibility.This weekend I was surrounded by people who have done and are doing just that. I am tremendously grateful for the experience. And it left me inspired to do and be better.25 years, man. Life is short. There is no time for idleness. There is no time to equivocate.Speaking of eradicating limitations, today marks the return of my ultrarunning buddy Josh Spector – if you are a long-time listener you will recall our conversation from last year, recounting our respective experiences crewing for Dean Karnazes and Ray Sanchez at the Badwater 135 ( RRP 40 ).Widely accepted as the “World's Toughest Foot Race”, Badwater is a 135 mile running race across Death Valley — the hottest place on Earth — where temperatures average 120+ in July and can reach as high as 130 with pavements temps typically in the 170-180 degree range. Starting at Badwater Basin, the lowest point in North America at 282 feet below sea level, approximately 100 invitation-only runners from across the globe begin a jaunt that takes them across bleak and scorching desert terrain as well as three formidable mountain passes, including the culminating 13-mile ascent up the portals of Mt. Whitney — the highest peak in the lower 48 — to finish at 8,300 feet.This past summer, and for the first time, Josh stepped up his game and ran the legendary — but recently revised — race himself.This week's show is a rare peek behind the curtain at exactly what it takes to prepare for, endure and complete one of the most difficult running challenges on the planet – a race that requires... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Weekly JourneywithJesus.net postings, read by Daniel B. Clendenin. Essay: *When the Trite is Also True* for Sunday, 13 January 2013; book review: *Behind the Beautiful Forevers; Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity* by Katherine Boo (2012); film review: *Take Me Home* (2011); poem review: *Now I Become Myself* by May Sarton.

-In this episode: Warning- for adults only! Frita and Roy have been married for fifty years, and are celebrating their union with a vacation away from home. But soon they find themselves yearning for their homestead. Trite as it may be, there's no place like home... b

-In this episode: How racism is taught, even if the races don't really exist.