Podcasts about oooh

Oooh, I'm thrilled to 'show off' another woman who beautifully balances her feminine and masculine energies as an entrepreneur. Introducting Agnieszka from Poland. She's an architect with a soft spot for the handmade industry who founded OPLOTKI.pl - a Polish crafting community and a thriving business based on crafting on-line workshops for both individuals and corporate.The idea behind Agnieszka's work was captured in a TEDx Warsaw Women speech “Handmade. Product or a process?” and her journey  - in a book “Oplotki. Sukces Handmade”. I'm excited for you to meet her.For more details and the full video of this episode, go to merilyn.com

Oooh you're in for a treat today! Welcome to our first (and definitely not the last) official Minivan Mama rant! This is what happens when two PMSing mamas get together and the subject changes to all things baths, naked showers, spicy showers, duvet covers and how terrible top sheets are. ;) We're definitely not holding back on any of our crazy opinions. Show Sponsors: MarriageSupply.com - Get ready for Valentine's day with MarriageSupply - the best place on the internet to find quality adult toys. Marriage Supply has no nudity or pornography on the site so you can shop safely and comfortably. 10% OFF for Valentine's Day with promo code MINIVAN Pura Smart Home Diffuser - the first fragrance device to be completely controlled from your phone! Choose from hundreds of scents (like Capri Blue, DAE, Becki Owens, and Disney!) Never include harsh chemicals, kid and pet friendly, and ethically sourced. Use code MINIVANMAMAS FOR 15% off Follow us on Instagram: @minivanmamas Shop our Merch: minivanmamas.com/shop/

Welcome back to Broken Records, the podcast that searches for the worst record ever made in the history of music. This week Steve and Remfry travel back to Britain in that wondrous period of the late 90's going into the early 2000's as they look at You'Ll Love To Hate This, the long forgotten debut, and so far only, full length album from comedian, actor, presenter and… rapper… sort of… Richard Blackwood, released on the 11th of September 2000. Who remembers Richard Blackwood… yeah?... a few… who remembers him for something other than not knowing how to grate lemon zest…? Okay, not so many of you. How about anything other than his recent appearances in big name UK soap operas Hollyoaks and Eastenders? Oooh, hardly anyone. Blackwood was, if you can believe it, a pretty big star in the UK from about 1998 to 2001, presenting a host of big name shows like Top of the Pops and MTV Select, before being given his own vehicle, The Richard Blackwood Show, in 1999. His star dropped pretty dramatically after the release of this album though, maybe it was too much of RB too soon, maybe we never really needed a UK version of Will Smith, or maybe it was just the staggeringly bad execution of this album, full of terrible rapping, cheap pop instrumentation and cheesy R&B fronting. Either way, this record is no fun. Less fun than having 18 litres of coffee shot up your arse? Well, we wouldn't know about that… but we know a man who would! WE LOVE YOU RB, WE WATCH YOU EVERY NIGHT ON TV!!!

The KiddChris Show - 03/04/2022

So, one minute you're at work, feeling guilty you're not taking care of your family or your health...and the next minute, you're finally back on your Peloton but you feel guilty you aren't at work...sound familiar? Oooh, I've been there. This guilt cycle is the very reason professional women burn out and often walk away from their hard-won careers. In this episode, I dispel the myth that guilt is the price we must pay for our success and share the tactics powerful women use to have both huge careers and glorious lives. Tune in.

Sean and Bryan discuss living at Disney, new details on Toontown, and the return of some Disneyland night life! Oooh-wee! We have a sponsor: Get Away Today! Use our referral link to get $10 off any 2+ night Southern California package! www.getawaytoday.com?referrerid=7479 or use promo code mainstreetpod10 Buy us a churro! www.buymeacoffee.com/wotms Stay at Homewood Suites Anaheim Resort and save 10% by calling Mike Ransom at 714-750-2010 and mentioning Word on the Main Street Podcast! 10+ room group rates also available! Contact the hosts: Voicemail: 801.923.2455 Sean - sean.wotms@gmail.com Bryan - bryan.wotms@gmail.com

www.loulabellesfrancofiles.com  Hosted by Louise PrichardProfessor Emmanuel Josserand grew up in Montmartre but now resides in Sydney, Australia. He has worked around the world but it was "love" that kept him in Sydney! Very French he says!In this warm and funny chat with Emmanuel he tells me about his life growing up in Montmartre with his grandparents who lived next door to uber famous singing sensation Dalida! With Emmanuel it seems his connection to France is all about the food. Just like me! He loves the stinkiest cheese, chouquettes or pain au chocolat for petit-déjeuner and when in the countryside he and the family would all eat fresh bread and saucisson with fresh tomato from the garden. It just sounds so dreamy... take me away maintenant!Come and escape to France momentarily with us and hear about going solo on the slopes of Chamonix, Michelin Star restaurants near Lyon and naked women in the streets of Montmartre in Emmanuel's childhood memories! Oooh la la! Recettes from renowned chef George Blanc and musique by Dalida xx

Oooh boy, this is a good one. So we stumbled on a gentleman by the name of mark Gober. Mark used to be in the finance world and one of the higher ups, until he fell down the rabbit e asking the question: What is Consciousness? What if Consciousness isn't created by the brain, but the brain is merely an antenna that picks it up from all around us? Well, three books and a podcast later, mark is still asking this question and has reached out to some of the "elites" in the scientific realm to gather their insight, as he continues down the rabbit hole. Truly a topic to wrap your proverbial brain around. Open the Gates... *Find Mark and his work at: Markgober.com *Have a question or a story to tell?  Look us up at Strangeuncles@gmail.com or call us at (801) 252-6945...Want more strange for your ear balls?  Become a Patreon at Patreon.com/strangeuncles.  Close the Gates

Want to hear us talk about how hot Mark Ruffalo is for two hours? Oooh boy, do we have a treat for you! Wikipedia-cited “In The Cut” stan Jourdain Searles joins us to unpack Jane Campion's unjustly maligned erotic thriller. What happens to actresses once they turn 40? Would this movie have fared better with audiences if - instead of America's Sweetheart Meg Ryan - it starred an edgier Nicole Kidman as originally planned? Do you remember the SCANDAL when Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe? Why did we care so much about that?  This episode is sponsored by: Indeed (indeed.com/check) Catalina Crunch (catalinacrunch.com/check) Indeed (indeed.com/check) Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Oooh gurls, we've got a fun one for y'all this week. Weeks, months EVEN years of research and consideration have gone into our picks of the GREATEST MOMENTS OF BLACK POP CULTURE HISTORY! This is the quintessential list and anyone else's is completely wrong. Jk, jk. We did have quite a bit of fun coming up with the list and are excited to hear what you all think. And we wouldn't be us, without at least a little political talk about a rough start to Black History Month.

As part of our Valentine's Day special episode, we discuss a few romantic phrases in Japanese to use this upcoming romantic holiday!Nothing makes the heart skip a beat than when our partner showers us with compliments and says romantic stuff. Regardless of which stage in a relationship you're in, or even if you're not in a relationship at all but have someone you fancy, there's going to be a Japanese phrase that we're covering today that you can use. We have four sections: confessing, asking someone out, and dating. Oooh. Start Learning with Nihongo Master!  Website Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube Music: https://www.purple-planet.com​​About Nihongo Master PodcastA podcast for Japanese culture enthusiasts and language learners. Brought to you by NihongoMaster.com, an e-learning site focused on helping learners at every level master the Japanese language.

Oooh, a tough Thursday, or should we say lough lhursday? (That will make a whole lot more sense once you hear the episode). Curiously, language played a role in both of our dynamic puzzle-solving duos difficulties. Jean had a spot of bother due to her rusty Hindi skills, and Mike's non-existent Italian almost doomed him for a second time this week (see the ROME v. ROMA fiasco from Tuesday). Still, we rate this a major success, agonizing but definitely a 5 squares on the JAMCR scale.

It's a quick one because Caleb simply has to go.We talk about an Alpine pattern, seafood, and a brief outro on NFTs

In today's class we're joined by a former colleague of KPs, DJ & sit down & discuss the following; -KPs obsessed w/ structure? -If we were to adopt a child from another country, what country would we pick? -Is busting quick offensive or a compliment? What you think of to not? -Scaring the hoes should be a sin? -Microsoft buying Activision + top 3 video game franchises of all-time? -Music (The Game, Key Glock, Wiz, Mac Miller) -TV (Bel-Air, Abbott Elementary, South Park, etc) -& more! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chilluniversity/message

Markets got as oversold as they are going to get. While the trend has also changed, there are some signs that the flush selling may be over. War, Fed, Inflation, Valuations, Pandemic – What else should we throw at the market this week? PLUS we are now on Spotify and Amazon Music/Podcasts!   See this […]

OOOH so is it true? Can weed prevent COVID. We talked to the lead researcher on the subject. We discuss Platonic partnerships, could they work? Plus soo much more!    Special guests: Richard van Breemen - Lead researcher with Oregon State's Global Hemp Innovation Center in the College. Tyler Pager - White House Reporter at The Washington Post. Omar Gonzalez-Pagan - Lambda Legal Senior Attorney and Health Care Strategist.

About a week ago we re-spun our ESP32-S2 QT Py into an ESP32-S3 version (the chips are very very similar but NOT drop in compatible!). we just got the PCBs in last night and threw one of these together. compared to the S2, the S3 adds a second core back, and adds BLE as well. while there is no arduino support yet, we do have preliminary CircuitPython support! good enough to test each pin, the analog inputs, i2c control of a display and even connect to wifi to grab some data. there's still more to go but we've got the hardware in a state that's good enough to try and order our first set of PCBs for assembly. #adafruit #esp32 #qtpy Visit the Adafruit shop online - http://www.adafruit.com ----------------------------------------- LIVE CHAT IS HERE! http://adafru.it/discord Adafruit on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adafruit Subscribe to Adafruit on YouTube: http://adafru.it/subscribe New tutorials on the Adafruit Learning System: http://learn.adafruit.com/ -----------------------------------------

(Previously: Chapter 1 - A Man Goes on A Journey)The Journal of Archimedes Croryton, July 23rd, 1888I have been informed that my train has just crossed into Texas and the terrain has already become wilder than I could ever have imagined. The emptiness of these spaces is immense. It seems scarcely possible to me that men could lead their lives here. Not merely from want of sustenance and water, the scope of the landscape itself crushes a man with his own insignificance. In England each mile brings its a new town and a more pleasant vista. Ours is a land built on a scale a man can walk in a day. Well-tamed with its reassurances of ancient manor houses, village chapels, welcoming taverns. Our island is, as much as anything, a well-tended and civil garden.But this is a vast wild expanse. There is nothing on the grasslands to stop the wind on its rush to the equator. How could this place serve to do else but drive men mad?July 24th, 1888Since San Antonio, the terrain has grown steadily more impossible. The train rises through rough terrain into a rocky desert almost devoid of life and greenery. This is the New Mexico territory. A fellow passenger, seeing a look of unabashed concern writ upon my face, attempted to reassure me by saying that all of the savages had been pacified shortly after the end of the war. But, I suspect they are all savages here, to one degree or another. What seemed a grand adventure in Boston and a splendid project in New Orleans now seems something else entirely. The wisdom of taking employment with Jean DuMont, a man I have never met, now escapes me. But as I have never wanted or needed employment before, perhaps mistakes are inevitable. The fact remains that I have designed and built the components for the largest Cornish engine the world has ever seen. While my technical employment may no longer qualify me to be a gentleman in the strictest sense, it gives great satisfaction to both my purse and my person. And I feel that the future belongs not to gentlemen but men with great machines and greater ambitions. On the morrow, I disembark the Union Pacific line in Tucson, with the 300 tons of my cargo. And from there, it and I go by wagon, to construct a pumping engine for the Morning Star Mine of Grantham, Az. Archimedes Croryton stepped down from the train into a scorching Arizona day. One of the roughnecks on the platform pointed him to the freight yard and Archie employed him to carry his trunk across the rail lines, and onto the freight platform, which was no more than a sea of railroad ties set directly on the desert floor. In the center of the freight platform was a crude shack, constructed against the relentless hammering of the Sun. Archie took shelter there and watched the yard crew unhook his boxcars from the train by means of a crude, small steam engine mounted on a cast-iron platform. Everywhere he looked his engineer’s eyes saw the opportunity for mechanical improvement. The diameter of the engine’s drive wheels needed to be enlarged. The platform also would benefit a trailing truck wheel. Without, it the drive wheels unweighted while reversing and slipped against the rails. This made the whole process of moving the freight cars a Sisyphean cycle of start, slip, stop that pained Archie to watch. Soon, he imagined, the cast iron platform would crack or bend so much against the strain that the engine would become unusable. Still, he allowed, it was easier than pulling boxcars by hand. Some distance off the siding men had gathered in a circle. He had assumed they were some of the men meant to haul his freight. They were yelling and cheering some action within their ranks. As Archie approached, he saw a large man with a full red beard hoist another man by his collar and belt and hurl him out of the circle. Unable to regain his footing after such an undignified exit, the poor soul sprawled on the railroad ties, just short of Archie’s fine English riding boots. The large red-bearded man disappeared back into the knot of shouting men and re-emerged with a battered black cowboy hat. He threw it at the man on the ground saying, “I told you nay to meddle.” Then looked up and saw Archie in his khaki expedition suit complete with pith helmet and quickly composed himself. He knuckled his forehead in the customary salute of the British Navy and said, “Beggin’ your pardon, sir. No offense meant to yer personage.” And then turned back into the crowd. Archie heard an ear-splitting crack and the crowd gave a collective, “Oooh,” and went silent. He pushed his way into the ranks. In the center was a tall woman, dressed in men’s clothes — was that buckskin? — beating a man on the ground with a bullwhip. Archie said, “Good Lord,”A grubby man next to him who wasn’t letting a few missing teeth stop him from grinning ear-to-ear looked at Archie and said, “I don’t reckon, even the good Lord can save him now. And that’s sure. She told him. She told everybody. Don’t you dare show up drunk in the morning!”The man with the red beard reached over several smaller people and clouted the toothless man in his ear, saying, “No blasphemin’!” Then he nodded to Archie as if somehow decency was their common cause. The man on the ground struggled to rise and the woman let fly with her whip again. It snaked through the air and exploded into the man’s side, causing him to yelp in pain. He fell over and lay on his back.The woman coiled the whip in her right hand, threw her hair back, and glared at the rough men of the crowd. “I told him the same as I told you. I don’t mind the drinkin’, but if you’re too drunk to walk your wagon, ya don’t get paid. Now anyone else feel like arguin’ contrary-wise?”Most of the crowd said nothing, but here and there a few said, “No ma’am.”“Alright then, back in line and I’ll see where our goddamn haul is!”As the crowd broke up, Archie caught the eye of the giant with the red beard and waved him over. Archie said, “My good man, what is your name?”“MacAllister. At your service, sir. Even if you are English.”“I beg your pardon?”“It’s a savage land, sir. We civilized, Christian men must stick together.”“Am I to take Scotland for a civilized land, then?” Archie asked with a smile.“Ach, only in the summertime, sir,” MacAllister said with a grin.Archie liked the man’s easy and open way. He extended his hand. MacAllister took it and wrung it heartily, crushing Archie's knuckles with affection. “Thank you much, sir. A pleasure.”As he rubbed his hand, Archie said, “I’m looking for,” and here he removed a letter from his vest pocket, unfolded it, and read, “John Siskin. Could you help me find him?”“No sir. There’s no John Siskin. She’ll be the one you seek,” MacAllister said, hooking his thumb at the woman with the bullwhip. “Jane,” he said, nodding encouragement.“But I’ve engaged a company to haul freight.”MacAllister nodded at the wagons, “And the finest company in Arizona. But it’s her’s.”“I don’t understand?” “Husband drank himself to death and now she runs it better than he ever did,” MacAllister said with a shrug. “Mind your manners, and’ll you’ll do fine.”From behind him, Archie heard the woman’s voice, “What the hell are you supposed to be in that getup?” Archie turned and Jane Siskin was glaring at him, with her coiled whip around her shoulder and her hat pushed back. Archie smiled and said, “Ah yes, Miss Siskin,’ as he bowed and doffed his pith helmet, “I am Archimedes Croryton, at your service.”“Croryton? A. Croryton?” she asked, ”You’re our client for this haul?”“I am.”“Well, I hope you don’t mind me sayin’ but that’s an awful lot of s**t to haul to a nowhere town like Grantham. What’s in them boxes. Like it said in my letter, I ain’t hauling no dynamite for nobody.”“Mining equipment, parts for a large steam engine. Nothing explosive, I assure you.” “And the A? that’s for Archimedes? Name like that sounds like you should be selling snake oil.” “You may call me Archie. You know, my great great grandfather, the 18th Earl of Cornwall was said to have been quite harsh with the peasants. They were peasants in those days you know. But I don’t recall any stories of him whipping anyone.”“You ain’t some kind of Prince?” she asked with a note of distrust in her voice.“No. I am but one step above a b*****d and far less convenient.”“Less convenient than a b*****d?”“I am a second son. You see, one can reliably disown a b*****d without consequence. I am thing that was had and then repented of. In brief, that is why I have come to your continent and that is why I have engaged you to haul my freight. If there are no more personal questions, can we proceed?”Jane stared at him for a minute. Then she nodded her head once and said, “Red, can you do something about his Majesty’s hat? I’m worried he’s gonna melt his brain with that foolishness in this sun. ”“I can try, but the English are powerful fond of their funny hats. I dinna think there’s anything I can do.”“My hat?” asked Archie. “What’s wrong with my hat? It was recommended to me by Hanning Speke himself as just the thing for hot and humid climates.”“Humid!” cried Jane, “It don’t rain here but once a year.” Then she laughed wildly, showing her white teeth against her tanned face and buckskin garb. Another savage, thought Archie.After six hours of cursing and dust and wrangling of ill-tempered animals, the boxcars were emptied and the component parts of Archie’s machine had all been loaded onto the wagons and made fast. It was a motley armada of craft; horse teams, mule teams, and at least two teams of oxen pulling a variety of wagons, 46 wagons in total.It had been suggested to Archie that he might pass the time in town in the comfort of a saloon or hotel. But Archie would have none of it. He found a battered chair in the freight station, retrieved a book from his luggage and sat in the shade of the building, and read while keeping an eye on the proceedings.When it was all done, a tired and somewhat subdued, Jane Siskin came to him and said, “It’s all safely loaded as you can see Mr. Croryton.”Archie carefully marked his place in his book and said, “Very good Miss Siskin. What time do we leave in the morning?”“Hell, we’re pushing on tonight. I ain’t gonna give these sons of w****s another night to drink. I’d lose, two maybe three more teams at least. And we’re overloaded as it is. You stay over and catch the stage in the morning. You’ll beat us there by a day at least.”Archie tucked his book under his arm, replaced his pith helmet on his head, and stood. “This is my equipment and my commission, and I intend to shepherd it every step of the way. Only after my machine has been installed, will I rest easy.” He kicked his trunk and said, “In which wagon are I and my luggage riding?”Jane snorted a laugh. “Wagons is for cargo mister. Teamsters walk their teams. Especially with them damn the oxen.” She put her fingers in her mouth and gave an ear-piercing whistle. “Red! Get this trunk stowed, and go help his Majesty buy a horse.”They were three days out of Tucson when the rear axle broke on the largest wagon in the train. The eight oxen in the team ground to a stop and bellowed for water. There was no water to give them until Grantham. And 200 tons of freight came to a dead stop in the blazing Arizona sun. The teamster who owned the broken wagon, a man known as ‘Clod’ stood next to the oxen, mirroring their plodding expression of long-suffering. Neither he nor they looked at the axle. They had just stopped because they could go no further and waited for someone to come along and get them moving again. In this heat, and at this level of exhaustion, the biggest difference between them might have been that Clod was the one wearing a cowboy hat. Archie rode along the stalled wagon train and reined up by the broken axle.“Well, don’t just stand there man! What are you going to do!”Clod looked up at him blankly. After the last three days of bad road, he didn’t even have the energy left needed to shrug. He took drink from the canteen around his neck. There wasn’t much left in it, so he had to tip it way up. Archie turned to Clod and shouted, “Did you hit every rut between here and Tuscon! I mean did you aim for them!”Jane rode up, slapping the flank of her mustang lightly with a coiled bullwhip. She said, “You cain’t talk to my man that way!”Archie scowled at Jane and was about to protest, but mastered his emotions and said, “If he wished to avoid excoriation, perhaps he should have taken better care of his wagon.”Jane snarled, “As charmin’ as we all find your company, Mr. Croryton, I’ll remind you that you were advised to avail yourself of the stagecoach and await delivery in Grantham.” Then she turned to the teamster and said, “Aw for Christssake Clod! Did you break my f****n’ wagon?”“It done just broke, Miss,” said Clod. “You did, Clod. You broke my f****n’ wagon. You gonna fix my f****n’ wagon? How many goddamn times are we gonna break down on this run! I knew I shoulda cashiered you in Gleeson, you big dumb son-of-a-b***h.” She spit and whirled back to Archie, “And you lied to me about the weight.”“I did not!” “Overloaded wagon. Whole damn train’s overloaded. Draggin’ axles from the start. And don’t you try to smooth talk me with your fancy words!”“Madame,” began Archie.“There you go again you slippery shitheel!” Clod stood with the oxen, fat tears rolling down his hopeless face.”Jane said, “Goddamn it, now look what you’ve gone and done to Clod!” She swungdown off her horse and changed her tone.“C’mon, Clod. Ya big softy. We’re not really yellin’ at you. We’re just yellin’ cause it’s powerful hot and we’re all sick of eatin’ road dust. Aren’t you sick of it?”Clod nodded, rubbing tears and snot away with the heel of his hand. “Yes’m.”“Then why ain’t you yellin’ you big lummox?”“‘Cause the wagon broke. And it’s my fault.” “Hell, Clod, it ain’t your fault. It’s the road’s fault. It’s the axel’s fault. It’s God’s fault. And most of it’s my fault for givin’ you such a shitty wagon!”Clod looked very confused.“Well go on,” said Jane, “Yell it out.” “I hate this stupid wagon,” said Clod, timidly.“Nah, Clod. You’re gonna have to do better than that.”“STUPID WAGON!” “There you go. You go on, you can even kick it a little if you want,” said Jane. Then she looked back to Archie. “Now. What in the f**k’s is in that crate!”“I appreciate that tempers are high, Miss Siskin. And that this is a rough and ill-mannered land, but I am your employer and I will not be addressed in that manner,” said Archie.“Fine. What the f**k’s in there, sir!?!”Even Archie had to laugh at this. He recovered his leather-wrapped journal from his saddlebags and flipped it open. He matched the number scrawled on the crate and said, “that is one-quarter of the flywheel assembly.” Jane opened her mouth to swear again, but stopped when Archie raised his hand and said, “Allow me to save you the trouble of asking a profane and redundant question. Yes, it is a f*****g flywheel. Now, what are we to do?”Jane smiled and spit. Archie found it to be utterly unladylike yet still, charming behavior. Then she said, “I’ll have MacAllister have a look at it, but I don’t think we can fix it with what we got. And one thing’s for sure. Ain’t nobody coming along with an empty wagon to bail us out.”Just then they heard a rattling noise drifting back towards them from the front of the wagon train. They looked up and saw a man driving an absolutely empty wagon bucking his way along the rocks and cresote bushes along the side of the road. They looked at the wagon. They looked at each other. Then Jane raised her hand. “Hol’ up there,” cried Jane. As the man grew closer, she said, “Why Mr. Miller! Am I glad to see you!”“Miss Siskin,” said Virgil Miller, bringing his wagon to a stop. “Be more glad to see you if ya’ll weren’t so much in my way.”“We’ve had bit of trouble, as you can see. And we were wondering if you’d like to make an extra bit of cash with that wagon of yours.” “Well, Ms. Miller. That depends. If you got seven tons of flour for me somewhere in this mess, I can oblige.”“I do not. Who’s payin’ the freight on it?”“Supposed to be Fetterman outta Bisbee.”Jane made a face and spit. Virgil said, “Guess that’s why I’m havin’ to go to see him.”Jane said, “Ain’t my fault. And maybe ain’t his. This gentleman rented out ‘bout every damn wagon in the territory.” Virgil looked Archie up and down and said, “Hunh, gennleman? Is that what you call a man in a funny hat.” “Archimedes Croryton, at your service sir.”“Ah, gennleman. That’s what you call a man with a funny hat and a funny name.” “That’s as may be,” said Archie, “But it’s very important that I get these crates to Grantham in an expeditious fashion and as you have an otherwise empty wagon…”“My wagon is engaged,” said Virgil, “And you Jane Siskin, you ain’t done nobody I know any favors. Good day, Ms. Siskin. Stranger.”As they watched him go, Archie said, “But I’m not a stranger. I introduced myself.”“He’s just prickly ‘cause his freight ain’t come through. And I ain’t exactly been, sympathetic to his predicaments over the years. Come on Clod, let’s get ‘em to drag it off the side of the road.”With the aid of MacAllister and several of the men, they levered the back of the wagon up with a timber. Jane cracked the whip over the heads of the oxen, and the animals pulled the wagon a few feet forward until it slid completely off the timber and ground to a stop again. The process was repeated again and again until the road was clear. When the wagon train was in motion again, Archie said, “But we can’t just leave it here!” Jane said, “We’ll finish up the run into Grantham, unload a wagon right quick and come back for it.”“Today?” asked Archie. “Don’t you worry your Lordship. Nobody’s gonna steal your 3000-pound flywheel part.”“I’m not a Lord,” Archie said quietly, “and I don’t like loose ends.After leaving the wagon behind, the pace of the train quickened with the promise of good stable and fodder for two-legged and four-legged creatures alike. From somewhere in the back Archie heard singing.They came over a rise and there was Grantham laid out before them. A cheer went up. Archie was shocked at how small the town appeared. Around the two main streets were a collection of mud huts, tents and dangerously ramshackle frame buildings. On the periphery more of these wooden buildings were under construction. A haze of smoke hung in the air and Archie could hear the hammering of both carpenters and blacksmiths. To Archie’s eyes, having grown up in a place where the newest building in the village was over 300 years old, Grantham seemed a place that had been constructed yesterday and would be gone tomorrow.The one exception to the frontier construction was an elaborate Victorian house set on a large lot on the far end of town. That had to be Monsieur DuMont’s house. With its elaborate turret and high-peaked roofs it could not have looked more surreal or out of place. Archie judged it to be a waste of resources. Who would build a fine house in this inhospitable place? This was a place for making a fortune and leaving behind as easily as a snake shed his skin.What Archie did not see was the mine. There was no evidence of it on the slope beyond the town. He had been told that the mine in Grantham was built right in the middle of town, but had thought it an exaggeration. As wagon train they worked its way down to the dry wash on the east end of town the enthusiasm dried up. “They still ain’t fixed this damn road!” said Jane, spitting at the sight of the obstacle ahead. The wash wasn’t quite treacherous enough to require a bridge, but the way wasn’t smooth enough for overloaded wagons. It would require care and attention to navigate the freight through the cut in the bank and up into town. As the wagon train stopped Archie sidled uneasily on his horse. The excitement of being close to the start of his real work and finally meeting his unknown employer was unbearable.He turned to Jane and said, “Ms. Siskin if you would excuse me, I must confer with my employer, and find a spot for the cargo.”Someone in the next wagon back shouted, “I say a nice flat spot next to a saloon oughta do it.” Archie and spurred his horse down the cut and through the wash and into Grantham.(Next installment Friday, Jan 21.) Get full access to Patrick E. McLean at patrickemclean.substack.com/subscribe

Your hosts @curlemd(Nygel) and @jaydelnegro(Jay) are back for episode 116. Bulk Kidnaping & Candles and in this episode we get into: - [ ] Candle Scents - [ ] The Goodness of Weed - [ ] Kanye and Antonio Brown - [ ] Jay goes “Oooh” but should he? - [ ] Drake Puts Hotsauce in his Bag - [ ] Stop a crime or catch a Snorlax, you decide. - [ ] Trey Songz is probably been doing wrong. All of that and a bunch of other filth flarn filth with a dash of concern including “YAS” “For Why” “Shooting Ppl Bail” & “Gentle Judgement” So join us in judgement and listen out for another fantastic episode of the Don't Jude Me Podcast, just as long as you Don't Judge Me for judging you. Support the show for as little as $1 per month: https://anchor.fm/dontjudgepod/support *Email us at DontJudgePod@gmail.com *Leave us a voicemail at 410-834-1562 *Follow us on IG @dontJudgePod *Visit our YouTube page by searching for Dont Judge Me Podcast Comment and Rate us on iTunes, Soundcloud, AnchorFM or wherever you're listening to us at.

Your hosts @curlemd(Nygel) and @jaydelnegro(Jay) are back for episode 116. Bulk Kidnaping & Candles and in this episode we get into: - [ ] Candle Scents - [ ] The Goodness of Weed - [ ] Kanye and Antonio Brown - [ ] Jay goes “Oooh” but should he? - [ ] Drake Puts Hotsauce in his Bag - [ ] Stop a crime or catch a Snorlax, you decide. - [ ] Trey Songz is probably been doing wrong. All of that and a bunch of other filth flarn filth with a dash of concern including “YAS” “For Why” “Shooting Ppl Bail” & “Gentle Judgement” So join us in judgement and listen out for another fantastic episode of the Don't Jude Me Podcast, just as long as you Don't Judge Me for judging you. Support the show for as little as $1 per month: https://anchor.fm/dontjudgepod/support *Email us at DontJudgePod@gmail.com *Leave us a voicemail at 410-834-1562 *Follow us on IG @dontJudgePod *Visit our YouTube page by searching for Dont Judge Me Podcast Comment and Rate us on iTunes, Soundcloud, AnchorFM or wherever you're listening to us at. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/dontjudgepod/message

Ally tells ya what you need to know to not impress your co-workers around the zoom meeting water cooler

This episode contains: No Steven this week, but Devon and Ben make do. Devon got his son a Lego Hogwarts castle. Ben thought we'd be without Lego talk with Steven not on the show. He was wrong. Devon practiced an hour to pitch in a VR baseball game, and still sucks. Oooh girl, shock me like an eletric eel: Here's how to give an electric eel an MRI. Ben talks about how to give an electric eel an MRI. Devon asks "Why?" but still thinks eel skeletons are pretty metal. An anesthesized eel can still drown... How do vets keep them breathing? Ever wanted to know how to reconstruct a blown knee on a bullfrog? https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/12/how-to-give-an-electric-eel-an-mri/ Here comes the sun!: A spacecraft has 'touched' the sun for the first time. NASA's Parker Solar Probe spent five hours in the sun's corona. WOW! Devon talks about Alfvén critical waves, theorized in 1942 and proven in 2019. Turns out the corona is far hotter than the surface of the sun. NASA's Parker Solar Probe is the fastest known object built by humans. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/12/211214134947.htm Science Fiction: Doom Patrol season 3 was crazy! Devon and Ben really liked it. Devon is caught up on season 4 of Star Trek: Discovery, but skipped season 3. We talk future airdates for Star Trek: Discovery, Prodigy and Picard in early 2022. Ben and Devon wrap it up with a low-spoiler chat about The Matrix Resurrections.

Out on Dec 17th,2021

My friend Amy Bond, (episodes 25 and 54) sent me a screenshot of an article about Demi Lovato last month and then texted, “Oooh you could write about this.” Turns out she was right. I had a lot to say about California Sober vs Regular Sober. Laura Cathcart Robbins is an author, freelance culture writer, and host of the popular podcast, The Only One In The Room, living in Studio City, California. She has been active for many years as a speaker and school trustee and is credited for creating The Buckley School's nationally recognized committee on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Her recent articles in Huffpo and The Temper on the subjects of race, recovery, and divorce have garnered her worldwide acclaim. She is a 2018 LA Moth StorySlam winner and currently sits on the advisory board for the San Diego Writer's Festival and the Outliers HQ podcast Festival. Laura is also a founding member of Moving Forewords, the first national memoirist collective of its kind. Find out more about her on her website, or you can look for her on Facebook, on Instagram, and follow her on Twitter. I'm Regular Sober — Here's How I Feel About Demi Lovato Being 'California Sober' Join our Patreon: Become an Only One In The Room patron by joining us on Patreon! Starting at only $5.00 per month, you'll get bonus content, access to outtakes that the general public will NEVER see, extremely cool merch, and depending on what tier you get, monthly hang time with Scott and Laura. Join our Patreon today at https://www.patreon.com/theonlyonepodcast  Be sure not to miss our weekly full episodes on Tuesdays, Scott Talks on Wednesdays & Sunday Edition every Sunday by subscribing to the show wherever you listen to podcasts.  We love hearing from you in the comments on iTunes and while you're there don't forget to rate us, subscribe and share the show! All of us at The Only One In The Room wish you safety and wellness during this challenging time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oooh baby with pyro technics on top!! It's a spectacular first Saudi Grand Prix from Jeddah. Hamilton wins 103rd career race!

Este episodio llega gracias a las confesiones de muchas mujeres españolas. OOOH, ME VENGOOOOO

It’s a Thanksgiving miracle – a video game sequel that has no corresponding original? Oooh, you’ll have to listen to find out about that! Hear this and more gobbledygook (see what we did there?) as you feast your ears on this very special episode.

Oooh, the Kings' are talking about SEX! Why is this topic so taboo? The ironic thing is it appears to be very taboo in the “Western World,” as we are referred to. Why is that? Why are there so many sexless marriages? Most importability, why is sex not being taught from a Biblical perspective? Thanks and blessings. 

Oooh those holidays are a total trip on our minds! Things can be so difficult this time of year, or you might be having your best year yet. In this episode Diana is talking about how incredible life is even if it's not perfect and how much it helps to look at life from gratitude and a half full glass mentality! #glasshalffull #gratitude #grateful #yougotthis #thanksgivingpodcast

TO BE WRITTEN (It's taken Jon long enough to edit this, don't expect blurb too!) The Morning JaM would be absolutely walking on sunshine if you contacted them at hello@morningjam.co.uk, especially to give your opinion on whether Mike's Nailbourne fact is better than Jon's Todd River fact. Theme tune is sampled from Walking Back to El Paso from texasradiofish

In this episode Kent and Chase talk about their most recent fishing trips and what the future holds. We dive into Chase's first duck hunt of the year and Kent's big trip to the Bahamas. Plus so much more, this episode is filled with raw content! Oooh baby we like it raw, tune in to hear all about it. Tight Lines. 

Oooh shoooot we live we out new podcast name!Welcome to Breaking Industry Norms, a podcast for stylists looking to change the culture in our industryIn this short episode I'll share why we changed our podcast name, what our new name means and how we will be showing up in the futureHuge thank you to YOU! Thank you for being on this journey with us, especially through the changes. They didn't come lightly and it's important you know they were made with YOU and your best interest in mindWe are so excited to grow with you beautiful, thanks for being on this ride with us!If you are interested in talking a look inside your biz with me I'd love to chatBook your FREE coaching call hereCan't wait to chat babe!Sam

TL;DR::: Check out Ben Burgis on Twitter @BenBurgis, buy his books, and subscribe to his YouTube Channel (Ben Burgis) and also his fantastic podcast GIVE THEM AN ARGUMENT. Most recently, he had awesome leftist historian HARVEY J KAYE as his main guest, whom I love and would love to have on Breadsheet sometime to talk Thomas Paine, because he's the only person I know of who talks up T-Paine as much as I do. Oooh, maybe he could do a thing where it doubles as something I could use with my students. Also go to www.hoss.fun for ALL YOUR HOSS NEEDS. Howdy from Hoss. AND Ben Burgis. This is Ben's THIRD Breadsheet appearance (check out episodes 5,6, and 20 for his previous installments), and boy howdy, is it a sexy one. We mostly talk about Dave Chappelle's new special—not exactly attacking or defending it, moreso analyzing the reaction to it. Very necessary disclaimer: we are but two cisgender hetero dude bros… hell, we're not even comedians, unless you consider my “music” “comedic.” So our opinions are definitely skewed by our identities, privilege, etc—as anyone's is, really— and of course it's maybe a little “cringe,” as the kids say, to opine on the issue of trans acceptance and Chappelle's shitty attitude without the input of a trans person. Which leads me to my next point: I also ask Mr. Burgis about something kinda niche—his fairly negative interactions with a lovely wildcard leftist streamer named ANDREA ROVENSKI. As he acknowledges, Ben may come off as a pinch condescending when talking about Andrea in this episode, but I think he makes some good points and he even expresses some nuance—namely that he was at least A LITTLE wrong about his interpretation and analysis of the January 6 Capitol Riots, which was the crux of he and Ms. Rovenski's little feud. Anyway, let's heal this divide, people. We need more love on the left. Ol' Benny Burgz and Andrea would have a great discussion if they spoke, I think, so let's all come together and be friends. Anyway, also, Andrea, please come on Breadsheet and give me your perspective on the Chappelle special and also let's make fun of Jackson Hinkle, a dumb dumb whom you just debated. Okay this is way too long of a description. Dave Chappelle's special was kinda lazy and boring and ignorant in my opinion, and I'm not sure I express that well in this interview. I'm a people pleaser so I'm bad at expressing disagreement with my guests. I'm also kinda gullible, which is why they call me the JOE ROGAN OF THE LEFT. Follow Ben Burgis on Twitter @BenBurgis and subscribe to his YouTube Channel and subscribe to his podcast GIVE THEM AN ARGUMENT, pretty pretty please. Also buy his books GIVE THEM AN ARGUMENT and CANCELING COMEDIANS WHILE THE WORLD BURNS, both published by Zero Books. Can't wait for that Christopher Hitchens book too!! I was supposed to record audiobooks of those other two books of his but I got a job right when I was getting started on that. Maybe the Hitchens book will be out next summer and I can do that one then. Oh yeah, ol' BENNY BURGZ also debated Charlie Kirk between recording this chat and my releasing it, so make sure and check that out ON BEN BURGIS's YoUTube Channel. It's great. Charlie Kirk sucks. Follow me on twitter @hoss_bossman, subscribe to the HOSS BOSSMAN YouTube Channel, rate and review this podcast (it really helps!) and find all that and more shit at www.hoss.fun. Love ya. Anyway, here's Ben Burgis, THE PHILOSOPHER KING's theme, and also his THIRD Breadsheet interview. I'm gonna ride out on a K-Macks song for this episode, so go to thvekmacks.bandcamp.com or find The K-Macks on Spotify and Apple Music if you like it! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/hossbossman/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/hossbossman/support

Pastor Bill: [0:00] Hello and welcome to season 3 episode 52 of the Berean Manifesto: Faith, Hope, and Love for the Modern Christian. Tonight we are going to be talking about something that may, make some people feel rather passionate about one way or another. We are not here to tell you how to think, or what to believe, but your present the way we see things and what evidence we can provide that led us to believe certain things that way. If you then want to walk away from this conversation and go well the evidence they provided I don't agree with, that, that's good evidence and I'm going to continue believing the way I believe. That's great. At the end of the day we're both going to walk away agreeing that Jesus was born as a man died for you know... what's the right words... the propitiation of our sins, not our actions but sin nature, so that we can walk in a relationship with God so that we have the hope of looking forward to an eternity with Him. You're going to walk away sharing that belief, I know, I'm not doing a soft open I mean I'm doing a soft open I'm not doing a hard open. Um no, I'm talking to Biggs on Twitch, he says, "well how was your week?" as if he's like don't forget guys everything goes bad if you don't do a warm up first. Um yeah, so we will be looking at some scriptures tonight and we will be talking a bit about this Universal Bible Tome that Newms and I both have because it's got some great things that we need to talk about and so that's that's where we are. Tonight's episode is called, "Not Inerrant but Infallible" Peekaboo my little Groggy is joining us on Twitch welcome Groggy, glad you're here tonight.   Pastor Newms: [2:23] Oooo, one of these days he's gonna get you for saying that.   Pastor Bill: [2:24] My little Groggy, my little Groggy. Oooh he's several states away what's he going to do? Come to Texas and finally meet me face-to-face? Ooh, I'm scared. We'll go have some barbecue or something together, that'd be awesome. All right, so how was your week pastor Newms?   Pastor Newms: [2:59] We started a new war in Star Trek last night. That's really been it I've not done a ton this week, was pretty much mainly focused on work celebrated the fifth of November yesterday. So other than that yeah it was pretty good. I got a new mask I got a nice new mask I like my new.   Pastor Bill: [3:26] Yeah you did, your Guy Fawkes mask.   Pastor Newms: [3:29] Yes yes to celebrate the.   Pastor Bill: [3:34] And for those of you listening to podcast not watching live he picked up an all black mask with golden highlights to make it look like Guy Fawkes, also reminiscent of the V movie - V for Vendetta. Yeah that he watches on November 5th every year because that's how his brain works. There are certain movies that you have to watch on certain days, Mean Girls on October third and V is for Vendetta on November 5th. Biggs on Twitch says Groggy's going to drive his Corvette and have a road trip down to Texas, Biggs is volunteering Groggy for a road trip to Texas in his Corvette that's lovely I look forward to seeing. Alright, so?   Pastor Newms: [4:26] How was your week Pastor Bill.   Pastor Bill: [4:27] How was my week? Um, well my week was was pretty good I mean. See the problem with asking about the whole week is I don't really remember whole weeks I remember like I can tell you what I did today and probably what I did yesterday. But I can also tell you useless information like. I don't know, useless information about things in history that nobody cares about but stuff about me and my week I just I just draw a blank you know, yeah so I went and had barbecue yesterday for lunch at this alien establishment built around the Aurora alien just down the road and it was great barbecue. First time I've ever been able to say that because you know everything is subjective and then in my subjective opinion it's the first great barbecue that I've had so. So yeah, so that's that and I did some work around the house this week just fixed some stuff that need to be fixed and.   Pastor Newms: [5:41] You messed with some computer rigging of things was that this week or was that last week graphic stuff.   Pastor Bill: [5:47] I can't remember.   Pastor Newms: [5:50] I don't remember.   Pastor Bill: [5:51] I don't remember what I've done this week but I guess that's a good sign because I mean is it wasn't a bad week.   Pastor Newms: [5:57] Right exactly yeah.   Pastor Bill: [5:59] So nothing bad happened, so I'm thankful for that they can see you know that's a good place to start. But like you said we, we in Star Trek Fleet command we had a down week no story arc which was just kind of frustrating but we did have, after a few days of almost literally nothing in the game, they finally dropped a Crucible Of War event which is a three-day just grind of hostiles to which Newms looked at it and went this is just my daily what I do in the game what are you guys complaining about, and I'm like no no this is considered Star Trek grind and he's like this is just what I do daily I don't understand what's wrong with you guys. Yeah, but for me, I was I was tired of seeing the color red personally but I don't play games the same way that Newms does which has been a point of conversation over the past four days that I'm glad we can move on to different conversations now. Things about how we don't like the people we're allied with in a current War, but we're going to be good soldiers and fight the good fight anyway and and hope for the war to end soon so we can go back to not liking the people that were allied with. So that's that that was my week and so now I guess we'll do Getting to Know the Pastors and since this is an even-numbered episode season 3 episode 52 that means that Newms will pull a card from his box and we will answer.   Pastor Newms: [7:39] Alright as not how we're going to be able to read the question all right.   Pastor Bill: [7:46] Yeah you can't read the back of the car.   Pastor Newms: "If you could have one book instantly memorized cover to cover, which book would you choose?"   Pastor Bill: [8:03] Um that would have to be Grey's Anatomy.   Pastor Newms: [8:10] The book, there's a book?   Pastor Bill: [8:14] Yeah it's the book that's got the man sprawled out on the front of it and his arms are in different positions it's a medical textbook.   Pastor Newms: [8:23] Oh okay, why?   Pastor Bill: [8:27] Oh you you thought I meant like a novelized version of the show Grey's Anatomy I'm talking about the medical textbook Grey's Anatomy.   Pastor Newms: [8:37] But why.   Pastor Bill: [8:39] Because I want to know everything and that's a really good place to start.   Pastor Newms: [8:54] This is one of those I can't answer there's too many valid answers that that I can't formulate a decent answer to it.   Pastor Bill: [9:10] Now if you thought either one of us were going to say the Bible then welcome to the Berean Manifesto, It's good to have you here. We don't give flaky answers, we avoid the obvious flaky answers and go for deep meaning stuff obviously every Christian would want to have the Bible memorized.   Pastor Newms: [9:32] But that's not a book it's a collection of books.   Pastor Bill: [9:34] That's a collection of books but it's bound as a and sold as a single unit.   Pastor Newms: [9:40] No but that was my thought was I can't pick a single book because it is in and of itself not a single book.   Pastor Bill: [9:48] It's an anthology but it is it's a work of it's an anthology work you know.   Pastor Newms: [9:57] Yeah.   Pastor Bill: [9:59] Bound as a single book anyway.   Pastor Newms: [10:04] But then I was so many other books on my on my you know this just in I don't know man.   Pastor Bill: [10:11] Just the one you'd want to memorize I mean just like.   Pastor Newms: [10:13] See I do.   Pastor Bill: [10:14] And then you could be sitting back one day on a on a stranded Island on a on the beach and some strain on the middle of the ocean and be like all right I'm going to walk my brain through. Yeah ABatBrain on Twitch says coding for dummies.   Pastor Newms: [10:36] The problem with memorizing a coding book would be the fact that one the language is changed constantly so memorizing one feature wouldn't the concept stay the same but that's not the hard part of coding the concepts are the easy part the hard part of coding is the syntax.   Pastor Bill: [10:57] Biggs is throwing shade I'm surprised it took them this long to start throwing shade, we're 16 minutes and he's throwing shade at me for drinking apple juice and then sipping my dr. pepper.   Pastor Newms: [11:10] You are nasty but we all know that already so I don't know why anyone.   Pastor Bill: [11:14] It's not like I'm pouring both of them in my mouth at the same time.   Pastor Newms: [11:17] You're nasty, you're always nasty, it's fine we love you for it. But you nasty.   Pastor Bill: [11:27] See now Zaydees got to go straight for the cheat they didn't which says all Edgar Allan Poe's work and the original Beowulf I don't know that you can find that all printed in one book.   Pastor Newms: [11:37] Olive olive.   Pastor Bill: [11:39] To memorize.   Pastor Newms: [11:40] All of Poe actually we own all in one book if you're classifying an anthology as one book.   Pastor Bill: [11:49] Because you said and Beowulf.   Pastor Newms: [11:50] Beowulf yeah I know that's where that's where your. Oh dummy must be blanked out it's coming across on this platform it might not on Twitch because.   Pastor Bill: [12:10] So true.   Pastor Newms: [12:12] You I think Biggs you actually have your filter set on. Cuz it's coming across twitch correctly so I think it's because you have your profanity filter on and I guess dummy is one of the no no words on. On Twitch yet comes across perfectly fine so yeah that's that's that's on your side Biggs I'll have to show you how to turn that off at some point.   Pastor Bill: [12:46] HPuffPhoenix says all of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Well if you can't answer do we need to pull another card because nobody got to know you well.   Pastor Newms: [13:07] "Through the use of a time machine you are traveling back to the year 1850."   Pastor Bill: [13:12] No, I'm not - that ain't happening.   Pastor Newms: [13:15] You may take with you one and only one product or invention from the modern error what would you take with you to impress and all our forebears? None of it because they would burn you at the stake.   Pastor Bill: [13:27] The Time Machine they would be impressed and then I would come home I aint staying in and 1850.   Pastor Newms: [13:34] But even that they would burn you at the stake they would destroy you they would call you now no no man. I'll go forward, hopefully it's better that direction I need some robotic I need some robotic limbs I need a brain to computer interface.   Pastor Bill: [13:54] It just gets worse than both directions from here trust me I can guarantee it he just gets worse in both directions. I trust Phoenix says no she's just knowing that to a bat brain is quoting Monty Python she's a witch will she float.   Pastor Newms: [14:25] Big big guns of the only thing I.   Pastor Bill: [14:29] Take big gun you just wipe them out and be like that fixes the problem.   Pastor Newms: [14:33] Like it's really like dot dot dot dot dot dot dot as they're getting you know and just deal with it move on because it's not.   Pastor Bill: [14:43] You wipe yourself out no no these are smart bullets they won't hit anything that's close to my own DNA so I'm not wiping out any of my ancestors.   Pastor Newms: [14:53] Well you couldn't the rule the true laws of time wouldn't allow that sorry.   Pastor Bill: [14:58] Well they would. Yes it's like a stream you can throw a rock in the Stream and divert the stream but it's just going to reconnect and and and do the same eventuality anyway.   Pastor Newms: [15:14] Because as soon as soon as you killed someone who, destroyed you you've now destroyed the ability to go back and kill any of them it doesn't I don't believe in the fragmentation of time I believe in the straight one, line anyhoo that is not what we're talking about tonight we are.   Pastor Bill: [15:37] I believe in I believe in similar eventual outcomes. In regards to changing time you believe in self-fulfilling, if you go back in time and change something it was because you already did that before, yeah that's what you believe and that's the perfect leave at that's just as valid as believing that time is ruled by three magical Wizards that sit outside of time and are part reptilian and. Because you're talking time travel that's 100%.   Pastor Newms: [16:17] Theoretical today.   Pastor Bill: [16:24] You'd think if time travel was possible we'd know by now well no you wouldn't not if you can't time travel back further than the machine you created then you wouldn't know it or anyway.   Pastor Newms: [16:39] There's a lot of time paradoxes that can happen in time paradoxes are no fun.   Pastor Bill: [16:44] See this is how you get to know the pastor's you're learn more about us right now than you probably bargained for what we believe about time travel and get it. Okay oh he's puffing smoke a wrote a book speaking of streams did you know that if a beaver's dam gets messed up they don't have the mental capacity to process it was destroyed and be upset, they simply just start over. I mean I think it's less of that and more of the they're not sure how to pump all the water back out after they patch the hole it's just flooded there's no choice.   Pastor Newms: [17:36] You got to start over.   Pastor Bill: [17:37] They don't have hydraulic pumps or anything.   Pastor Newms: [17:40] Got to start over all right.   Pastor Bill: [17:57] You and I were both raised I'm gonna go out on a limb and say. To believe that the Bible from cover to cover is the inerrant word of God spoken about in John 1:1. The word was with God the Word was God.   Pastor Newms: [18:22] No I was not taught that part I was taught that that word, became flesh so that that word was the motive that's what I was taught but I was taught that the word of God is inspired inherent and infallible yes.   Pastor Bill: [18:42] Inspired inerrant and infallible. And I was raised believing that it was inerrant, I can't remember too much emphasis being put on the inspired part I was kind of downplayed I think and the infallible definitely, and then I was taught to believe that, when it's Edward in John 1:1 it was specifically talking about this the 66 books and that these 66 books, became a living flesh being who was the person Jesus. And that's what I taught I was taught that this was. Everything Jesus was made up of its whole mental capacity as whole everything was this and a lot of Evangelical churches, that I know of have taught that are still teaching that, that this is tantamount to equal with Jesus and equal with God and therefore is Holy in and of itself. You can't write in it you can't question it you can't study it you can't comparatively, analyze it you have to be respectful of it it's Untouchable it's basically all the definitions you give to an idol. That's what that is and.   Pastor Newms: [20:28] Yeah see and I wasn't taught anywhere close to that in most I can't say like when I was like our little little kid because some of those churches were a little fun but. Even you know schools and stuff that I went to didn't go that far. Not saying I agree with everything they did teach about the Bible but. I didn't go that far that far. That actually cuz we haven't had that part of the conversation before and that explains some other feelings that you have. And because if I was taught that I would definitely have some more issues around it in how you speak sometimes but continue.   Pastor Bill: [21:23] See your learning stuff two decades in and you're still learning stuff about.   Pastor Newms: [21:28] Because you don't love me enough to tell me these things ahead of time.   Pastor Bill: [21:30] Little just come out like they they wait until the right time then they pop out and I'm like bleep yeah here you go below information right, so where you stand today in all of your study and all of your prayer and all of your belief and all of your everything do you still stand 100% on this inspired inerrant and infallible. Position. Let me just stop you right there if your beliefs weren't messy then you wouldn't be giving this topic the respect it deserves.   Pastor Newms: [22:18] Well yeah so. I believe that scripture is inspired the problem is the definition of scripture, the problem is the definition of all and the problem is and then that then takes the next steps and continues through the inerrancy and the infallibility now I believe. That God in the Holy Spirit. Kept the ideals and the overarching importance, of the Bible too its form and protected against. Complete and total an ally Annihilation I don't necessarily agree that, there is a specific version a specific and that's where you start getting into the issues of inherent C and infallibility is because, translations, translate certain aspects completely different and can mean completely different things and how they translate it and that is where you start to get into the messy part of this conversation in my opinion.   Pastor Bill: [23:45] Okay so let me let me boil that down to a much simpler statement okay you believe that all scripture is god-breathed and therefore inerrant. Scripture we haven't defined what scripture is in that statement. But that you believe what second Timothy 3:16 Says all scripture is god-breathed and then we take that step to say well it is therefore then inerrant you also believe that. The Bible is this collection of 66 books is infallible. It's not necessarily inherent from cover to cover but infallible.   Pastor Newms: [24:33] Yes I do not believe the Bible goes against God in any way and I do not believe I don't believe there's errors written.   Pastor Bill: [24:45] No well you you've left room for.   Pastor Newms: [24:50] Well now you're cutting out and I can't hear you so.   Pastor Bill: [24:52] Sorry you've left room for historical inaccuracies. To contradict yourself but in infallibility you've said that even if those details are reported different that the message it teaches has been. Simply put the inerrancy of the Bible means that someone believes that and then we're not talking about the inerrancy of the word scripture, because we'll talk about the definition of the word scripture here a little bit we're talking about specifically the 66 books. The Theology of the inerrancy of the Bible those 66 books, it means that you believe that every sentence within its text is reliably historically and literally the accurate and true words of God. That means you hang your hat on every statement as being 100% this happened, this is true the details are perfectly accurate and in no way biased or influence by culture, that's what the Theology of inerrancy of the Bible teaches and a lot of people when they say I believe in the inerrancy of the Bible they don't realize. What they're claiming about the Theology of, the inerrancy of the Bible right and so whenever we have this conversation with people about will do you believe in the inerrancy of the Bible a most people don't understand what that theology actually teaches, and if they would take time to actually go through line by line what that theology teaches it's likely they would partially agree with that but not fully agree with that, you're saying you can't hear me right now which is fine.   Pastor Newms: [27:07] You're breaking up real bad.   Pastor Bill: [27:08] They would say they partially agree with the Theology of inerrancy but not fully agree when they go through line by line what that theology teaches, the infallibility of the Bible as a theology, teaches that the text within the Bible is reliably capable, of communicating the intended message that God and the author that God inspired wanted communicated. So God inspired the author to write the author wrote down and the actual message the intended information, was communicated and that even if there are contradictions and slight details I'm breaking up again. Why are we having such a hard time, even though it may be slight problems in slight details as in Matthew saying one thing happened and Mark saying it happened differently because two people have two different perspectives, that's okay because two people can tell the same story and the story still be true even though two people look at it differently. That's infallibility not inerrancy okay so let's talk about what the definition of scripture, actually is okay the Greek word means holy writ. Or it can be used for anything that's written it's graph a graph graph a, scripture make sure I'm using the right word yeah graphe, it's graphe a any document that's written down by hand is can you can use the word graphic for, it's the word scripture and so when they use the word scripture in the Bible though as as writers of, documents that they intend to, inspire people to live a certain way or correct certain things about Doctrine so basically we're talking about every book of the New Testament, when they're intending to teach and they use the word scripture they don't mean any written document they literally mean a holy writing okay, so when we go and we look at, what the defining Mark is for understanding what a scripture is and when they were. Struggling for hundreds of years starting in I want to say. What year was that by 367 ad they had it, pretty well figured out but the struggle started in I want to say it was 150 ad. They were struggling with what New Testament books to endorse as quote-unquote scripture and they didn't have they hadn't land it on, the books that we have right now there were several books that get left out of the original, thing that people were advising people to read as a new testament and then there's this, modern overwhelming teaching, that it was just understood that everything we believed to be the Old Testament was always, considered scripture was always used for teaching was always used for correcting was always scripture right that the Old Testament was always scripture except, when you go back and you look at the things that, Paul quoted the things that Peter quoted the things that Jesus himself quotes, um now I know for sure Jesus but I'm stretching for Paul and Peter you're not going to find them quoting. From Old Testament books that aren't part of the law collection and the prophets collection, which means Joshua Judges Ruth first and second Samuel first and second Kings first and second chronicles Ezra Nehemiah Esther job Psalms Proverbs Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon, none of these books when Jesus walked the Earth were actually considered scripture, and even Jesus himself I know for sure because I went and did the researcher there today he never quotes from any of those books. He references Genesis Exodus Leviticus Numbers Deuteronomy Isaiah Jeremiah Lamentations Ezekiel Daniel Hosea Joel Amos Obadiah Jonah Micah Nahum habakkuk Zephaniah haggai Zechariah Malachi and Psalms which are the books of the law, and all of the minor and major prophets as well as Psalms these are the only books that Jesus ever referenced. All the gospels where we have everything that he ever said. As recorded I mean obviously he said of the things you know cause you can't say pass me the salt, without saying pass me the salt and obviously they didn't write down when he was out of meal and was like they're gonna get some of that salt because you know surely he did, ask for things surely he used regular words surely they had regular conversations sure they at some point he was like man, I gotta go take a dump so I'll be back in a few. I mean obviously you didn't use those words but the equivalent of hey man I got to go take care of this I'll be back and they didn't write that down in the Bible. Only references these specific books and it's the same books that you find, being referenced by the rest of the New Testament and you got all these books that weren't referenced, because they weren't really considered scripture they were considered poetry they were considered history, they were considered other things they weren't considered to be scripture but then today we quote from things like, Joshua and judges and Esther and job and Proverbs and we go well the scripture says we find no evidence anywhere in the Bible. That leads us to believe any of those books were considered scripture until-- a hundred and fifty a d-- We don't even have a historical reference to those being scripture until a hundred and fifty a d-- And at some point someone decided Well all this Jewish collection is all scripture now when it wasn't before now I'm not opposed, to having Revelations and gain New Revelations and God doing a new thing that's how Revelations work you know I'm not one of those people that and we talked about this a couple weeks ago, when someone says well they didn't start teaching that until so and so as their main point that's a red flag, that's that shouldn't be your main point right because God can can make New Revelations on the same scripture so I'm not opposed to that but when we are defining what is scripture. We can't point to a collection of books that didn't even start to be collected as that collection. Until over a hundred years after the death of Christ. We can't just blanket say all of this description. That's not how that works even Paul himself in some of his writings he'll say. Now this is what I believe I don't want you to take it as a command from the Lord this is my opinion blah. Now obviously that's not scripture that's Paul even categorically saying this is not scripture this is my personal opinion right. And so. We have to understand that in second Timothy 3:16 when it says all scripture is dot-dot-dot gonna go god-breathed. Paul is not talking about a collection of 66 books that some is going to start putting together. 90 - 60 years after he writes that that's not what he's referencing. We know that's always referencing because we know Paul's not a prophet, never claimed to be a prophet never met any prophecies and that would most definitely be a prophecy, to say you know we're gonna put together a thing and we're gonna call it the Bible and it's gonna be scripture and then you've got Jude. Referencing a do what's called a deuterocanonical, deuterocanonical deuterocanonical Book of Enoch okay so there's apocryphal books meaning their books that were believed to have been written after Malachi, but before Matthew, better than included in most Jewish studies modern Jewish studies and in most Catholic Bibles those are the apocryphal books then you got to deuterocanonical canonical canonical books. That are books that Christians around the world have adopted as Canon. But the Catholic church does not endorse and the Jewish belief is that yeah it would be good for you to read it but it's not part of your required studies, like The Book of Enoch okay scripture can exist in those books. And there was something I wanted to talk about where did you go why is that zooming out.   Pastor Newms: [38:28] Hey Pastor Bill you have a hole in your shirt.   Pastor Bill: [38:34] Stop that. I know, the cat did it. Makes me angry.   Pastor Newms: [38:43] I was like at the at the moment it's right next to the p in your name it's just right there just.   Pastor Bill: [38:51] Why is my computer trying to make me zoom in or zoom out right now that doesn't make any sense oh maybe because my arm is on the keyboard I'm reaching over my keyboard. Okay so by 353. What year was that 364 all.   Pastor Newms: [39:18] I'm not good with the years.   Pastor Bill: [39:23] 367 by 367 ad there were was a collection of books that they believed were authentic, New Testament scripture, okay so we're talking 267 years after the time of Christ a bunch of churches and their leadership finally decided that of the Ada, eight zero gospel accounts that had been found, and the numerous letters claimed to have been written by Paul or Peter or James or Jude or, judah's Bartholomew I mean the list goes on and on and on all these letters that they had that didn't make it. They came up with a system for deciding what should be a new testament book what shouldn't be New Testament book and they were actually using these words by them Old Testament and New Testament, number one was Apostolic did it come from an apostle did one of the Apostles of Christ pin this work, that was number one if it if they did then it automatically made the first cut they automatically went okay this goes in the in the good pile, surprisingly enough only Matthew Mark Luke and John, of 80 gospels those are the only four that met the first run even though mark, I didn't actually meet Jesus, it's believed that Mark was only writing down Peters words because Peter was old and was having vision problems and couldn't couldn't right you know he's got that old arthritic thing going on and so Mark was writing down Peters words, number two authentic does it have the ring of Truth did it sound when read out loud. To those people like it was something that was worthy of being included in a holy document, or did it sound like it was written by Joe Schmo down the road who is just a normal guy was it eloquent or was it simpleton. Number three ancient has it been used from the earliest of times do the ideas taught in this writing. Line up with and builds upon the ideas that the church in general, has taught over the years for instance. By this time he had agree all agreed on what the Trinity was on the belief of the trinity, and if any phrase in any of these books these writings that were being considered made it sound like the author, did wasn't endorsing the trinity then it got kicked out accepted. Were most of the known churches using this writing. And at this time only 23 of the now 27 books that we have were actually in wide use, 23 of them and then the others were added because they met a certain amount of these other criteria. Number 5 accurate, does it conform to the theological teachings of the church. In the year 360 ad. If it didn't agree with the teachings of the church and 360 ad for whatever reason it was disqualified. And that's how they came to agree loosely. What the 27 books of the New Testament would be now we know that Paul wrote a lot of letters and we know that you know they're out there, and there's a lot of arguments online that point to a lot of scriptures. And a lot of non scriptures in my opinion that say things like the words that were delivering to you are scripture. Except when you go back and read them it says things like the words that we did deliver to you in person. Our God breathed inspired of God and now we're writing you a follow-up letter, because that it ended up you need encouragement you'd fallen off the trail you've blah blah blah so you don't actually have the original teachings, that Paul and Peter and all these guys were going around teaching because they weren't writing those down they were delivering them orally. We only have their follow-up letters highlighting the areas where their people were struggling with or needed encouragement in only the hard things we don't have any of the easy stuff, that they actually taught face-to-face which is very frustrating to me all right. Um because it would be nice to have all that other stuff. Are you with me so far Pastor Newms everything you want to add or contract or whatever.   Pastor Newms: [45:29] Well so we are 51 minutes and a now I'll say it. English is a terrible language.   Pastor Bill: [45:40] English is so hard so hard.   Pastor Newms: [45:43] And so there's a lot that. You know people teach in Herrin see teacher people teach infallibility and they don't agree on what those words even mean, I was reading one article today that taught the up.   Pastor Bill: [46:02] Ah Zaidee.   Pastor Newms: [46:06] Of the opposite of what we're talking about right now which is what most people believe inherently and infallible seemed means they were teaching the exact opposite that. The infallibility means it's never ever ever inaccurate and its inherent meaning it it can't be proven wrong and it was like wait that.   Pastor Bill: [46:32] That's backwards of what the rest of the world believes those words mean come on.   Pastor Newms: [46:37] It's so it I mean it's a problem.   Pastor Bill: [46:40] Yeah that's the problem.   Pastor Newms: [46:41] And you know I think. Over time we have stretched, what our beliefs are from individuals and groups of individuals who had goals in mind, and sadly I think that has tainted. Some of the translations and some of the beliefs that the modern church has because of that. You know it's one of them things.   Pastor Bill: [47:30] It's one of them things it really is okay so if you don't have anything else you want to talk about about the definition of scripture the word scripture or what is you know.   Pastor Newms: [47:43] So you know for me I believe. The 66 books that we have are all important I think they are all. They all at some point meet the definition of scripture that's given in. Timothy but I don't necessarily believe every aspect in them. Does because of situations like where Paul says this is my opinion where Paul says bring me my coat you know there's nothing we can get doctrinally, that brick that builds up the church or that is used for Doctrine and bring me my coat, the rest of the writings around that are really good and I believe that. You know God did Keep. You know preserved the knowledge that we need in those books. But. You know there is that aspect of you can't trust a single translation several of the translations are wrong in my opinion in different places, because of how they translate the Greek or the Hebrew or. Things like that whereas some are really good. Which is why I study with it at least 3 anytime I study because. Different people translated each time. But that's that's my thing and then you have the Council of nicaea later the other councils that came after the times you're talking about.   Pastor Bill: [49:50] For total councils.   Pastor Newms: [49:54] And well there were four that talked about scripture correct.   Pastor Bill: [49:59] Right for that dealt with what are we where are we calling cannon not exclusively dealt with what are we calling Cannon but dealt with what are we calling.   Pastor Newms: [50:08] But there were there were other councils that, determined things that determined what they would like like what you were mentioning of hey it has to be one of the beliefs that the church holds those other. Councils are where those were set. And so it is interesting to look at some of those historically and how that shaped modern Christianity. And of course my favorite story ever comes from one of them so but anyway. We're not going to we're not going to tell it today we're not going to tell us today on purpose so that way people are like which news is favorite story and then they'll have to hear it at some point.   Pastor Bill: [51:01] The man.   Pastor Newms: [51:04] Because we'll get to it we're getting to the season where it's going to be used well we can't get through November and December without it coming up but stay with us you'll get it. What else did you want to say Pastor Bill while you're looking through your nose.   Pastor Bill: [51:22] So I actually was looking at my notes I was reading the letter of. The thinness and effing Asia's the first person in 83 67 this was his Easter letter, to Believers that was revealed at the Pascal Festival where we get the first complete list of the 66 books that, we hold to be Cannon because I like. I like his his sixth paragraph in this letter he's talking about you know here's here's the Old Testament books here's the New Testament books, and then he sums up what I think is a very very very important point, that the church forgot over the years that allowed this, to leave the status of what it is and become what I growing up was taught that it was okay, and and I read what he said here he says after giving the list he does one paragraph for Old Testament one paragraph for New Testament he says, these are Fountains of Salvation that they who thirst may be satisfied with the living words they contain in these alone is proclaimed the doctrine of godliness, let no man add to these, neither let him take out from these for concerning these Lord put to shame the Sadducees and said he do are not knowing the scriptures and he reprove the Jews saying, search the scriptures for these are they that testify of me so let me. Kind of modernize that some he said these 66 books are what you need to know. To understand your salvation, and all the details for salvation that you need to know are within these books and the other books that, people have gone to they don't have the doctrines in them that you need for salvation they're not wrong, they're not invalid. But this is your basis of understanding salvation the doctrine of understanding salvation exists Within These pages. That was his point study these these 66 books to understand salvation. In nowhere in there did he say. This alone is the exhaustive word of God and nowhere in there did he say that every jot and Tittle of these 66 books, is the inspired word of God he said the doctrine of salvation that you need. Is Within These pages and that's true this is probably, the most important collection of writings ever. But when I go to the Old Testament and I see instructions to the Israelites about the right way and the wrong way to sell your daughter into slavery, and I see instructions to the priest about how to decide if a woman has been unfaithful to her husband. And cause a miscarriage and shrivel up their womb. These are not details that the book is intended for. These are details of what God dealt with those people according to their culture at that time that is part of an overall story to understand why. Why Jesus why Jesus says a man human why Jesus sacrifice what does that mean to me. I don't look at the Old Testament and go, these are instructions on how I'm supposed to live my life I need to go get some dust and mix it in with some water and mix it in with this plant that by the way would probably just make a gross kind of tea and not cause any kind of miscarriage. And it's probably just. A way to tell the man to grow up and love his wife so that she's not feeling like she needs to go out and look for justification in the arms of another man. Because I can almost guarantee you one hundred percent of the time when that happened that, the woman was found innocent because even the tone of the text is satirical in nature like, getting off on a tangent I've seen so many videos using that as God endorses abortion right here in this shit I'm like that's not. Text means at all breathe okay yeah I like bit so often, you know in my later teenage years and grown up you'd hear like Bible stands for basic instructions before leaving Earth, and it's interesting that that yeah but it's so interesting in that and that what is it called anagram, anyway it's so interesting that that lines up so well when it literally has nothing to do with why it's called Bible but it's so accurate, yeah the Bible is the basic instruction and I do mean basic as in, you know I'm over it that's so Elementary I mean Ian basic as in you build a foundation for a building, and you build on top of that Foundation that's the Bible this is the foundation of our Christian beliefs and then we build on top of it, and too often we've got so many Christians standing outside of the building worshipping the foundation. Instead of building on top of the foundation. But that's my personal experience okay so this Universal Bible don't let the name, throw you because it first it through me until I actually looked at what was inside of it before I bought it as far as universal what they mean is it's got what every. Christian sect will say sect considers to be Canaan scripture so what the Samaritan believers, hold as Canon Bible what the Hebrew Believers hold his Cannon Bible what the Orthodox Believers holders can in Bible what the Catholics hold his Cannon Bible but the Syriac Believers holds Canada Bible but the Ethiopian, Believers hold as Cannon Bible and then what the pro majority of, North American Believers are the Protestants what the Parsons hold as the Canon Bible okay. And so you've got all the the books that you would expect to have you know all the 39 Old Testament books you've got all the 27 New Testament books, then you've got other things that you wouldn't expect that like I said in the words of this this guy, Athanasius they're good they're not the basis of the doctrine of salvation, but they're good for enriching your Christian faith and your walk you've got the epistle to the Ladeoetians written by Paul, you've got a book called the acts of Paul and Thecla you've got a third Corinthians letter, you know First Corinthians second with is now a third Corinthians letter that Paul had written. And then you've got the apart for apocryphal and deuterocanonical books first as draws second as dress 1st 2nd 3rd and 4th Maccabees the Epistle of Jeremiah the prayer of Azariah the book of Baruch, the prayer of Manasseh Bell and the Dragon, interesting story wisdom of sirach wisdom of Solomon not to be confused with the Song of Solomon because it's not, the parts of Esther that were removed they're here, um Tobit Judith Susanna Enoch, all three books merged into one text jubilees first Clement the Ascension of Isaiah Shepherd of hermas the Didact I don't know he said that detach, The Apocalypse of Baruch did counting of Josephus of the 6th Jewish War, and the fourth Bucca book of Barack. These are all the books that are considered Canon by any believers, and then you've also got Psalms chapter 151 which isn't in, the partisan Canon Bible which is interesting. And yeah so if you wanted to get a look into all that all the extra books and see you know. What is considered Canon by other believers who have gone yeah this is this is great stuff to have, um to know to enrich your faith to grow shoot us a message and I can send you the link to where you can go get this it won't be one of those I'll get a kickback when you buy it because, we're not going to do that that's that's pointless, if you want this resource then I'm more than happy to send you the link and I'm not going to get anything out of it but it's really great and, it's a little difficult to navigate because of just just the way they've laid out the chapters and there's no you know names at the top of the pages too, just open randomly and see where you are but there is a, table of contents so you can find the beginning of a book and then work your way forward to where you want to be it does have the the first numbers and all that so but yeah there's so much more, that Christians have identified as Canon that exists, outside of the 66 books that more or less the Catholic Church, decided for the Protestants that we would hold as Cannon so. Is scripture inerrant yes. Is every jot and Tittle of the Bible scripture not in my opinion based off of my research. Is the Bible infallible yes I believe all 66 books do the job of being available to teach the message intended. Now of course those words can be twisted and corrupted and taught wrong and on and on and on and on. They are available to teach the message intended and capable of and so. When you're moving forward in your Christian walk and you're trying to decide well what do I believe where do I go what do I do this is that Foundation if you start to believe something, that then this directly contradicts. Then we need to understand, what is that contradiction and why does it exist, is that contradiction because you don't fully understand what is they believe or is that contradiction that you don't fully understand the content matter here, is it because there's a cultural thing being taught in a certain part of script of, there goes it's hard to get around these words of just blanket calling it scripture because of the way I was raised you know is there a context thing where it's a cultural you know cautionary Tale, which happens a lot so yes we face those issues we've got a question from someone on Twitch, the call themselves haitham 9 kin way I hope I said that right it's hard with you switch to him sometime is it wrong that I love Jesus even though, I'm assuming that was supposed to be the word gay they put geh and so. I'm gonna say it's not wrong to love Jesus no matter who you are or, how you are or what you're into and we don't normally use those kind of words in this context what you've gone you know forward with and saying there, but no it's not wrong to love Jesus Just As You Are, and if something in your life needs to be different that's not my call, that's not Pastor newms is call that's not anyone's call except for between you and God, if you love Jesus and you pursue Jesus and you pursue relationship with God and you study the Bible, and that is then up to you, if you feel like something in your life is wrong and if you feel like that needs to change that's between you and God. Can I love cows even though I'm not a Christian someone else asks on Twitch I think you're confusing Christianity with Hinduism, and you can love cows even if you're not a Hindu well the twitch chat is really popping right now it's nice.   Pastor Newms: [1:07:19] Yeah.   Pastor Bill: [1:07:21] All right so we're 13 minutes over our normal time so we will head and wrap this up, I want everyone out there to understand that we want everyone to be able to be a part of what we're doing, and they have a safe space here no matter who you are, what you believe or what your orientation is Haytham 9 Kenway I would love to have a conversation with you off of the live about having a relationship with Jesus and, your question was there can I ask Jesus for forgiveness I'm really really gay and I think there's a lot of stigma, that you're dealing with in that question alone and so there's a lot to unpack there that I'd like to unpack off the air. What do you asking forgiveness for cuz if it's for being yourself then you know, that's a stigma that you're going to need to deal with that has nothing to do with your relationship with Jesus, because you come to Jesus as you are but we're going to wrap this up for tonight, this podcast comes out on Wednesday nights at 7 p.m. Central Standard Time anywhere that you can get podcasts every Sunday night at 6:30 p.m. Central Standard time we're here live and you can join us live, and be a part of the conversation and ask questions and we always have a theme that we're going with on the Sunday nights and so we'd love to have people, come in and join the conversation and so for tonight we're going to sign off and we love you guys I hope you have a great week.   Pastor Newms: Stay safe.   Pastor Bill: And, "Until next time..."

Lots of real shaky liberal ideology happening in throwaway panels now that the mutants are officially back in spandex. Nadi hits the seat and slams the timer to talk about it. NOT one to miss. 

This retelling comes from Genesis 37, 39-45, and it appears in Blood Covenant Origins: Biblical Retellings.  Introduction:  Joseph is one of my favorite biblical characters; he's such a great example of faith. It took thirteen years for his reversal of fortune to finally occur, and another nine years after that for the complete fulfillment of God's promise to him. Yet if he ever wavered in his faith that God would fulfill what He showed him in his two dreams, we have no record of it. This is even more incredible when you consider that Joseph had no written scriptures to cling to like we do. He wouldn't have even had an oral tradition of previous faith heroes similar to himself. While Abraham his grandfather had to wait 25 years for the promised child, the circumstances had little in common with Joseph's own circumstances. He couldn't read about the 13-17 years between King David's anointing and when he finally became king, for instance. Moses had not yet written Deuteronomy, telling him all the blessings he could expect if he remained faithful to the Lord. All Joseph had to go on were two cryptic dreams… but it was enough. It's fitting that the first dream showed his brothers' sheaves of grain bowing down to his, considering it was the famine and grain distribution that propelled him to second in command of Egypt in the end.  The one charge leveled against Joseph by some is that he started out arrogant: after all, what was he thinking, telling his brothers (whom he knew already envied him, due to his father's blatant favoritism) that God had told him he would rule over them? Maybe this was arrogance, or at best, a decided lack of wisdom. He was only seventeen at the time, after all. Also, with the exception of the death of his mother when Benjamin was born, Joseph had presumably lived a charmed life: the coat of many colors that Jacob had given him was the attire of a great landowner, even though Joseph was the second youngest of twelve brothers. (Pretty foolish of Jacob, too.) It's no wonder this galled them. Even so, their response to him shows how evil his brothers were, at that point. Had they not sold Joseph into slavery, they very well might have killed him—that was what they meant to do at first, after all. Despite this, despite slavery and then imprisonment, God said Joseph was prosperous and successful (Genesis 39:2-3, 23). Even though Joseph himself was not paid for any of his work, the blessing of the Lord was upon him, and therefore his master got blessed because of him. This is an interesting concept, that the overflow of God's blessing upon us (Deuteronomy 28:2) can affect those around us who just happen to be in the way—including our bosses in this case, or our families as well (1 Corinthians 7:14).  Joseph also happened to be very handsome (Genesis 39:6)—ordinarily a blessing, but under the circumstances it was a curse, as he drew the eye of Potiphar's wife. If she was this aggressive, probably this wasn't the first time she had cheated on Potiphar. I suspect that the other servants, and maybe even Potiphar himself could compare what they knew of her and what they knew of Joseph and deduce the truth. But if Potiphar did not choose to believe Joseph, what could the other servants do? And wouldn't it have disrupted Potiphar's life more to have believed Joseph? He surely couldn't have kept Joseph in his house with his wife; he had to get rid of one of them. So in my retelling, I assumed that Potiphar's pride forced him to believe his wife, even though deep down he knew the truth. I would imagine that if he had truly believed his wife's accusation, he would have had Joseph killed, rather than merely thrown into prison.  So Joseph started out with two dreams of greatness, which led directly to his being sold into slavery for a decade (deduced from his age at the time he was sold, the number of years he was in prison, and his age when he was finally promoted). At the end of the decade, Joseph refused to commit adultery and sin against God (very interesting that he phrased it that way, Genesis 39:9)—yet for his integrity, he got thrown into prison. Most people would be bitter at this point, but“until the time that His word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested [Joseph]” (Psalm 105:19). Joseph was holding fast to the word that the Lord had given him through those dreams, even when it looked like every circumstance in his life was heading in the wrong direction. He did not yet know Galatians 6:9, but he seemed to understand the principle: “let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Joseph continued to exhibit diligence and faithfulness in prison, and he must have even kept up a contagious good attitude—we can intuit this because when the butler and baker each had dreams, Joseph said to them, “Why do you look so sad today?” (Genesis 40:7). You'd think they would look sad because they were in prison without cause! But apparently their distress was unusual. Under Joseph's rule, the prison had become a cheerful place. Moreover, Joseph was not merely sulking about his own misfortune; he knew and cared about the other prisoners. Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”    Fictionalized Retelling:  I whistled, absently twirling the cord of the colorful tunic Father had given me as I made my way back out to the fields where my brothers tended the sheep. I couldn't stop smiling, couldn't think about anything except the dream I had had last night. In it, the sun, moon, and eleven stars had bowed down to me! I pictured this over and over, relishing the thrill of it, knowing that these celestial bodies represented my entire family. I was already my father's favorite, but the Lord confirmed it—I was to be the greatest of them all! Moreover, it was the second dream of its kind; in the first, a few days ago, eleven sheaves of wheat bowed down to my sheaf. I knew upon waking what it meant: all of my brothers would bow down to me one day.  I told them so the next morning. It went over went about as well as I'd expected. They already envied me, and my little brother Benjamin: we were our father's favorite, the only two sons of our mother Rachel, the woman Father had truly loved. He was duped into marrying Rachel's sister Leah, and then in a competition to see who could bear Father more sons, both sisters had given their maids to bear children when it seemed that Mother was barren. I was the first child to open her womb, and so I was much favored even from birth. Father didn't even try to hide it—in fact, he'd given me as a gift the multicolored tunic I now wore, of the same style as the owners of the great estates. This galled my brothers; it was a preference that should have belonged to Reuben as the eldest, and only after our father's death. Yet here I was dressed as the heir, the second youngest of twelve, while our father yet lived.  I might have felt guilty for my father's obvious preference for me, but quite frankly, I could hardly blame him. My brothers were self-centered, lazy, and cruel. God clearly preferred me over them, also! Had I doubted it at all after the first dream, the second one clinched it. Would I somehow become a king? Maybe a neighboring nation would offer their princess's hand to me in marriage… that was possible, as I was the favored son of a great man, and I was also exceptionally good looking. I didn't say so out loud, nor did anyone say it to me… but I saw the way all the young women gazed after me with longing and admiration. I knew.  But, it couldn't be marriage to a princess, I mused, because then I would only be a consort, and not the king. Unless it was of a nation with different customs, in which a king could ascend to the throne by marriage…  “Oh look, here comes the dreamer!” sneered Simeon as I approached. He and Levi mock-bowed to me. “So! You're going to rule us? You're going to boss us around?” Simeon taunted.  I shrugged. “I was just telling you what the Lord told me.” “Oh, sure,” cried Levi, “and I had a dream I'm going to have a harem like Pharaoh, every concubine more beautiful than the last. I know it's true, because I dreamt it!”  I bristled, knowing he was trying to get a rise out of me, but unable to keep myself from responding. “I know it's true, and irrevocable, because I had another dream last night just like it! This time, the sun, moon, and the eleven stars bowed down to me!”  Levi's expression froze for a beat. In that half a second, I knew he believed me. Simeon recovered first.  “Oooh, bow down, guys!” cried Simeon, waving his hands in the air, “bow down to our perfect baby brother, the future ruler of the entire universe!”  Every time one of my brothers caught sight of me for the rest of the day, he made me an elaborate bow. They continued mocking me before my father and stepmothers that evening once we came in from the fields, compelling my father to ask what they meant by it. When he did, Issachar taunted, “Ask your little prince here! He's got it in his head that he's going to be greater than all of us put together!”  Father turned to me with a frown. “Joseph? What are they talking about?”  Feeling slightly abashed, I repeated my dreams, and my father, predictably, rebuked me. “What's with all this dreaming? Am I and your mother and your brothers all supposed to bow down to you?”  “I don't know,” I muttered, “you're the one who taught me that the Lord speaks in dreams, remember?”  “Give him a pretty tunic, and suddenly he thinks he's God Almighty!” cried Zebulun.  But I saw my father's thoughtful expression: he believed me, too. He had taught me that the Lord often spoke in dreams. He himself had a dream of a ladder from heaven to earth, with angels ascending and descending upon it—echoing the first dream God had given to our ancestor Abraham, in which He had cut a covenant with him. In another dream, the Lord had told my father to go home to Canaan. Father had also told me of how God had appeared to my grandfather Laban in a dream when he had fled from him, telling Laban to be careful what he said when he next encountered Father.  Father knew of the power of dreams to both instruct and to prophesy. He knew my dreams must have significance, particularly since I had dreamt two that were very similar. But how could I, the second youngest son of twelve, come to rule over the other eleven? I had the same question myself—that was why I'd shared the vision. I realized, after today's taunting, that doing so had been foolish. I should have known better, considering my brothers' animosity and my father's obvious preference for me. Yet, why would God give me a dream of my future without interpretation, if He did not mean for me to share it?  The next day, my brothers went out from the Valley of Hebron to tend to the flocks out in Shechem. I did not volunteer to go with them, as I preferred to keep my distance from them after the encounter the day before. But my father sent me to them later that day, asking me to send word on how they and the flocks fared. I cringed inwardly, dreading the ongoing heckling, but that was hardly a reason to disobey my father. So I went.  I did not find them in Shechem, however. I had to ask directions from another shepherd I came across.  “I saw your ten brothers several hours ago,” he told me. “They've left here, but I overheard them say, ‘Let's go to Dothan.'”  I tracked them down in Dothan late that afternoon. I saw the flocks first, neglected as usual. I could tell that my brothers had seen me, though they were huddled strangely in the middle of the field, as if having an intense conversation. When I was close enough, I perceived that their council had ended, and they stopped talking, spreading out in a half circle as I approached. Their postures gave me pause: they looked alert, like predators. My steps faltered. “Our father sent me to you to see how you and our flocks fared—” I began. But no sooner had I begun to speak, Judah and Dan started toward me, followed by the other eight. “What are you—ahhhh!” I tried to fight them off as they lunged for me, but at seventeen years old to their late twenties, thirties, and forties, I could not have fought off even one of them, let alone all ten. The blows came at me from all sides. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground curled in upon myself, trying in vain to protect my face, which was a swollen, bloody mess. I felt them rip my colorful tunic from me. Then three of them picked me up, carried me a short distance, and cast me down into a dry cistern. I landed with a sickening crunch, and let out a fresh cry of pain.  It took me some time to test my feet, and the boundaries of the cistern. I could hear my brothers' voices filtering down from up above me, so they were still there—but they were too far away to make out what they said. I began to cry out, “Help!” When there was no response, I tried again, “Someone let me out! Let down a rope!” I knew they heard me, as they stopped talking—but none of them bothered to help.  I could just make out some sort of commotion up above—new voices had joined those of my brothers, interrupting the flow of their conversation, as well as the rumble of wheels and the characteristic jingle of merchandise. I strained to hear what they were saying, but could not.  All of a sudden, Zebulun's face appeared up above, backlit by the sun so that I could not make out his expression. He tossed down a rope and said cheerfully, “Grab on, Joseph!”  I asked no questions; I grabbed on, as he and Issachar hauled me up, squinting in the brightness when I cleared the top of the cistern. Then I discerned the Midianite traders, their camels laden with spices to sell, and saw the merchants hand silver to my brother Zebulun with a handshake. My eyes widened as I began to understand what was happening. Naphtali and Dan shoved me toward them, and I cried out as the traders caught me and pinned my wrists behind me, binding them and then my feet as they tossed me sideways atop one of their camels.  “No, please!” I begged, “please! Help me!”  My pleading gaze happened to fall upon Simeon, who sneered, “Let's see what comes of your grandiose dreams now, eh, little brother?”  It was the last words any of my brothers spoke to me. After that, the caravan moved on.  It was first an uncomfortable, then a painful journey. My position on the camel caused my abdominal muscles to spasm, and blood to pool in my head and feet as I bounced. Before long I had a splitting headache, which was no doubt worsened by my fear, despair, and previous injuries. None of the traders took any notice of me; to them I was only merchandise. The only exception to this was when they stopped to relieve themselves—they unceremoniously unslung me from the camel and made me lift my tunic right there beside it, so that they did not have to unbind me.  Days passed—I lost count how many. I was constantly hungry and thirsty. The traders did feed me on bread, water, and strips of dried meat when they stopped, though never enough. I overheard one of them comment, “Don't want him to waste away before he gets to market, or he won't fetch a good price.” It was from this that I understood my fate for certain, though I had suspected before. I was to be sold as a slave.  Once we were deep into the desert and there was nowhere I could have gone even if I had escaped, one of the traders unbound my feet so that I could ride astride my camel, rather than tossed over him between his humps like so much cargo. It was amazing what an improvement this made: my headache and abdominal cramps relieved, and at last I had some mental space to think about something besides my physical pain.  Lord, I prayed. Then my mind went blank. I was so overwhelmed with my circumstances that I didn't know where to start.  I wondered what my brothers would tell my father to explain my disappearance. All I knew for sure was that they would not tell him the truth. They would tell him I'd been killed—they must. How else could they explain my long-term disappearance?  I had a vision of my father weeping for me as he had wept for my mother. I saw my little nine-year old brother Benjamin, my only full-blooded brother, weeping beside him. The vision made my chest ache with sorrow and longing. I closed my eyes and shoved it away as tears stung my lashes. I took a deep breath.  I'm here now, I told myself, and at least at the moment, there is nothing I can do about it.  After another few miles, as the sweat rolled down the sides of my face, I tried praying again.  Help me, was all I managed. I had no specifics. I didn't know what else to pray.  Presently I overheard some of the traders telling one another that they had made good time: only fifteen days, they said, when the glittering mirage of Egypt appeared on the dusty horizon. At first the sight of it filled me with dread, and terrible visions of oppression, whippings, and chains—but I shut these thoughts down, recognizing the futility of experiencing imaginary hardships before the real ones materialized.  Within hours, we were in the heart of the bustling city. I was overwhelmed by the sights, sounds, and smells—never had I seen so many people and animals and buildings all in one place. There was a profusion of both wealth and waste intermingled in a confusing array. The traders allowed me to dismount on my own, but then led me with a vice grip on one arm to a raised platform. I blinked, taken aback, when I saw the lineup of naked men upon it. I had only seconds to process this when the trader who had steered me toward it released my arm and in the same motion produced a knife in one hand, gripping my tunic with the other. Before I knew what he was doing, he had sliced half of it away. I started to resist when another trader pinned me so that the first could finish the job. Seconds later, horror and hot shame rolled over me as the traders shoved me up on the platform with the other woebegone men, my hands now bound behind me so that I could not so much as cover my genitals with my fists.  Lord, I cried out in my mind, but again, I could not think how to finish the prayer.  I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to pretend I was somewhere—anywhere—else. Trying to tune out the jeers and the haggling of the buyers. It had never occurred to me in the long journey to Egypt that the slave trade required nudity, but now suddenly it seemed obvious: buyers wanted to inspect their purchase, to see what they were getting. When the haggling began over me, even though I did not speak their language, I gathered that the bidding was fierce. I heard the note of finality in their voices that I had heard in previous sales when the price was agreed upon, and opened my eyes to behold my new master as he stepped forward. He was a tall, swarthy man—as most of them were—imposing and probably at least twice my age, if not more. I had no experience with Egyptians, but his dress suggested a uniform. I wondered if he was an officer of some kind.  The man beckoned me to join him, and I meekly obeyed. Nothing like public nudity to induce humility. He produced a small knife and sliced through the bonds that held my wrists behind me. I rubbed the raw places where the ropes had bitten into my flesh, not even bothering now to use my hands to hide myself. What difference did it make? Everyone who had wanted to had already gotten a good look.  Though he could not speak to me, the man produced a simple blue tunic and a length of silken cord to secure it. My eyebrows raised as I saw it: both the dye and the material suggested wealth. I put it on at once, grateful for the renewed dignity. The man gave me a nod, and put a hand on his own chest.  “Potiphar,” he pronounced, very slowly.  “Potiphar,” I echoed, understanding that my new master was telling me his name. I placed a hand on my own chest and said, “Joseph.”  “Joseph,” he echoed, and gave another perfunctory nod, beckoning me to follow.  I gaped as I beheld my new home for the first time. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined such opulence as these marble floors, sculpted columns, and dyed silken curtains. I wondered what Pharaoh's palace must be like, if this Potiphar was only one of his officers.  Potiphar introduced me to the rest of his household via charade, but I was already starting to pick up a few Egyptian words here and there. I was one of dozens of servants, male and female, their skin ranging from dark to pale and with all sorts of distinctive features of races I had never before beheld.  As I made my halting introductions to the staff, an attractive woman in her late twenties approached Potiphar and languidly draped her arm through his. She drew my eye because I felt her gaze upon me, roving over my body in a way that made me feel like I was still naked. She wore fine blue silks, and her arms were spangled with bracelets. From this and from her familiarity with Potiphar, I gathered that she must be either his wife or his mistress. I looked away abruptly.  The overseer of the household, an aging man who introduced himself as Babu, took me under his wing. With him, I learned to do all of the various chores, both in the estate and in the fields. Babu was also very patient with me as I learned Egyptian words, and within the next few weeks, I at least knew enough to communicate the essentials with a combination of halting Egyptian and hand gestures. I quickly grew wary of spending too much time indoors, though, as Edrice, whom I learned was in fact Potiphar's wife, always seemed to be wherever I was. She lurked in hallways and lingered in boudoirs, sometimes pretending to be occupied but always with her eyes upon me.  At first this was all she did, and I ignored her when I could not avoid her. But as time passed and my Egyptian became more proficient, she began to engage me in smalltalk, which I could not avoid without rudeness. She'd comment on the weather, ask unnecessary questions about the progress of whatever task I was engaged in at the time, or sometimes ask me personal questions about how I had come to be in their household as a slave. I answered as briefly as possible, asked no questions in return, and excused myself. Years passed. In time I grieved the loss of my freedom, my family, and my identity, and I determined that I would do the work the Lord placed before me with all my heart. Babu and then Potiphar took notice of this. Babu, I learned, was beginning to suffer from poor health, and had been hoping to find a replacement for his position. He had recommended me to Potiphar for the job, so that he could take on less responsibility. Suddenly I found myself managing scores of servants on what I later learned was one of the largest estates in Egypt—and actually, I loved it. Even in my father's household, I'd never had either respect or responsibility. Here, I was trusted, and I rose to the challenge. Babu praised my management, telling Potiphar in my hearing that never had his fields or his wealth grown so quickly, never had his affairs run so efficiently, as they did under my care.  The only blight upon my surprising happiness was Edrice. She grew increasingly bold over time, when I did not return her attentions to her satisfaction. When she started to inquire about my history with women, and whether I was still a virgin, I began to avoid her outright. At last I hinted about her behavior to Babu, who gave me a knowing glance, and said, “Edrice is a beautiful bird in a gilded cage. She longs for freedom, and will seek it where she can.”  I blinked, understanding that he meant to tell me, without telling me, that she had been unfaithful to Potiphar in the past.  “Does he know?” I asked at last.  Babu hesitated, and then gave a very subtle nod. “Everyone knows.”  “What do I do?” I whispered at last.  Babu sighed. “I don't see that you can do any more than you have. Avoid her when you can. But do your best not to spurn her outright. Her pride is… easily wounded.”    Babu's warning rang in my mind for days, particularly because I had sensed Edrice's growing irritation with me. I needed to appease her. So when I felt her eyes upon me across the room, rather than pretending I did not notice, I looked up and smiled. She blinked, and her scowl softened in response, replaced by a flirtatious gleam in her eye. I panicked and looked away abruptly. I'd meant to appease, not encourage her—but how was I to know the difference? I'd never done this before…  She crossed the room to me, and before I knew what was happening, she was beside me, stroking my forearm with her trailing fingers. I was suddenly very aware that we were alone—I had no idea where the nearest servants were. Potiphar was away on Pharaoh's business. “Joseph,” she murmured, as if savoring my name, tracing my bicep with her fingers. “You are… so very handsome.”  My heart hammered in my chest, though with fear or with arousal, or a strange combination of both, I could not tell. My throat felt too thick to reply. I just froze.  Edrice gave a soft laugh. “I'm making you blush! Oh, I just love virgins…” Her hand trailed from my arm down my torso. I grabbed her wrist before it could descend any further, and found my tongue.  “Look, my master doesn't give a second thought to anything that goes on here—he's put me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an equal. The only thing he hasn't turned over to me is you. You're his wife!”  She puffed out her lower lip. “I know you find me attractive.”  This was dangerous territory. There was no safe answer to that question. “That has nothing to do with it,” I insisted. “How could I violate his trust and sin against God?” “God?” she scoffed. “Your God allowed you to be sold as a slave. You owe Him nothing. And Potiphar has never paid you a day's wages in the almost ten years you've been with us. Don't you think it's time you got a little… reward?” The hand I had not seized by the wrist also went exploring before I took hold of it too.  “I cannot do this! It is wrong!” I hissed. I let go of both of her wrists at once, and fled the room.  Either fortunately or unfortunately, I could not tell which, Edrice did not take this as rejection, but as enticement. I could tell by her increasing brazenness that she thought I burned for her and could barely restrain myself. At times, I wondered if this was actually true—after all, I could not stop thinking about her, even though thinking of her was a kind of torture. I successfully avoided being alone with her for the next week or so, but I knew I could not do so forever.  At last, one day after Potiphar again went away on Pharaoh's business, I was inside managing the orders for the kitchen after the morning meal. I stopped what I was doing, and frowned when I realized that the whole house was eerily silent—more so than I had ever heard before. Usually there were some servants chattering or clanging about at least in the distance. It was as if all of them had suddenly gone on holiday.  A wave of foreboding passed over me, and then I sensed that I was not alone. I turned around and saw Edrice standing there in the most provocative gown I had ever seen. She rested one arm on the doorframe to give me the best possible view, her gaze inviting me to come and take her.   “You know you want to,” she purred. “I promise I won't resist.”  “Edrice—” my voice came out hoarse, and I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from her nearly exposed bosom, no matter how hard I tried.  She grinned and sauntered forward, swinging her hips. I could not move. The next thing I knew, she stood before me, tugged on the cord of my tunic, and began undressing me.  “Sleep with me, Joseph,” she whispered.  I had one choice in that moment: stay and obey her, or run. So I ran. She had a firm grip by then on my tunic, and I nearly tripped and fell on my face, as it was half off already. Instead I wrestled myself free of it, leaving my tunic in her grip, and alas—fled naked.  Some of the other servants who were outside at the time saw me. I saw the fleeting looks of confusion and shock. Then Edrice began to scream.  There was a commotion after that. Several of the men went running into the house, and those near enough to me cast glances of alarm in my direction. I hid myself among the shrubbery, not sure what else to do, feeling like I might throw up. I didn't know exactly what Edrice was playing at, but I suspected I knew well enough.  A few minutes passed. Babu found me and handed me one of his own tunics without a word. I saw the look in his eyes, of mingled worry and sympathy, and it alarmed me.  “You should have just done as she wanted,” he murmured under his breath.  “How could I do such a thing against Potiphar, and against the Lord?” I protested as I put on the tunic.  Babu sighed, and shook his head. It was a long moment before he answered. “Joseph.” The way he said my name, with such regret, made my heart sink into my stomach. He bit his lip and then said, his voice barely above a whisper, “You spurned her. It's exactly what I told you never to do. All the servants know who and what she is, and I daresay Potiphar does too, but I don't think it will matter. She is accusing you of attempted rape.”  Waves of horror washed over me. That was even worse than a consensual affair. How was it that by doing the right thing, I'd managed to make my situation even worse?  “But… if everyone knows her ways…” I began weakly.  Babu shook his head. “She is the lady of the house,” he murmured. “Any servant who dares to contradict her story will be subject to her wrath himself. The only one who might be able to challenge her is Potiphar, and while I suspect he knows, if he admits that she is guilty in this, it makes him a cuckold—not just this once, but the many times he has turned a blind eye in the past as well.”    My breath came in short, ragged gasps. “What do I do?”  Babu ran a hand through his graying hair. “I will… try… to convince Potiphar to merely sell you, rather than punish you.”  I sank to my knees. Babu stood watching me. At last I murmured, “Shall I be killed?”  “I do not think so,” Babu said with surprising conviction. “You would be if Potiphar believed her story, but he is not an evil man. He will want you out of his sight and out of his household, but he knows you are not capable of such a thing, even if he does not admit it to himself.” He patted my shoulder. “Stay in my chambers and do not show your face until Potiphar returns. I will attend to your needs myself, and discuss how we might best plead your case to him when he does.”  The rest of that day was one of the longest of my life, with the possible exception of those first several weeks' ride to Egypt. Fortunately I did not have to wait longer, as Potiphar arrived back home unexpectedly that evening. I heard him in the vestibule, and I heard Edrice's renewed histrionic wails. I cowered in Babu's small chambers, catching words here and there—mostly my name in Edrice's high-pitched shriek, and Potiphar's angry growls. I closed my eyes, and tried to steel myself for what came next. Heavy footsteps pounded down the hall toward me, and the door flew open. I opened my eyes and beheld Potiphar's face. It was nearly purple with rage. He held my tunic in his hand like it was evidence against me.  “What,” he seethed, “is the meaning of this?”  In a split second, even though I knew it would likely make my own situation worse, I decided to try the truth. If I were married to an unfaithful woman, I would want to know. I stood up straight and said, “Your wife has been attempting to seduce me for years, Master, and earnestly for the last several months. You know this to be true. She has invented her current story because I spurned her and fled, and she kept hold of my tunic as I did so. I could not sin against the Lord and against you.”  If possible, Potiphar's color turned an even deeper shade of purple. “How—dare you!” He threw my tunic down and took two steps toward me, hands balled into fists. I clasped my own hands behind my back as hard as I could, determined not to protect myself, should he strike a blow. But I looked him directly in the eye, knowing that doing so would communicate my truthfulness better than anything else I could do.  It worked, at least on some level. Potiphar nearly snorted, he breathed so heavily, his face etched in a snarl. But he did not strike me. Behind him, three of the male servants who had grown quite fond of me in the last few years, and I of them, appeared in the hallway.  “Throw him in prison,” Potiphar pronounced my sentence, and turned to stalk out. “I want him out of here tonight.”  The three servants shuffled awkwardly, before moving forward to fulfill Potiphar's orders. One apologized as he began to bind my wrists. I shook my head.  “That is not necessary,” I told him, and forced a smile. “You know I will not resist you.”  The young man gave me a tiny nod, and the four of us marched out of the room with one abreast, two at my sides. I tried not to look around at the great manor I was leaving forever. This was the second time my home had been ripped from me; I did not think I could bear it if I looked and considered this.  Edrice appeared at the entrance to the estate with one arm positioned brazenly on a marble pillar, a vicious half smile on her full red lips. She still wore the scandalous gown, which surprised me at first—wasn't that gown evidence of my version of the story? But then I realized, it doesn't matter. She knows Potiphar will refuse to believe her unfaithful, regardless of the evidence. She still wore the gown on purpose. It was evidence of her power over me.  “Oh, how the mighty have fallen,” she taunted in a low trill as I passed by her.  “Oh, how quickly your lust turns to hatred,” I returned, looking her straight in the eye. “The Lord sees what you have done, and will repay you for it.”  My words hit the mark. Her gloating smile vanished, and she began to shriek after me, “How dare you, you filthy Hebrew slave! You should be hung on the gallows! I see to it that you're hung on the gallows—!”  The door closed behind us, cutting off her threats. I took a deep breath of the night air, and one of the other servants murmured, “Empty threats. She's already exerted the extent of her power against you.”  Another agreed, his voice still low, “We've seen her watching you for months, and watched you avoid her, too. We know you're not guilty. So does Potiphar, even if he won't admit it.”  Tears pricked my eyes at this, and a lump rose in my throat. “Thank you.”  We walked in silence the rest of the way. When we arrived at the prison and the other servants identified me as the prisoner to the keeper, he glanced at my unbound hands in surprise. “And… he comes willingly?”  “I would not struggle against my brothers,” I said. “They are merely following orders. Besides, where could I go?”  The keeper of the prison looked even more surprised at this, and looked to them for an explanation. They told my story for me, and I bowed my head.  “You will never find a more capable worker or better manager, sir,” one of the servants finished, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Judge for yourself, but we are all very sorry to lose him.”  The keeper of the prison let out a breath through pursed lips. At last he pronounced, “Well, this is certainly the strangest way I've ever been introduced to a new prisoner.” He took me by the arm and began to lead me inside, but the servants stopped him to hug me goodbye with some tears before they went their way. The keeper shook his head.  “Curiouser and curiouser,” he murmured as he watched our farewell. Then he said, “Well, normally I'd take you to a barred cell, but with three witnesses such as those in your favor… you might just be a gift from the gods. I tell you, I've been quite overwhelmed lately with the number of prisoners, particularly managing resources from Pharaoh and directing labor. I could use the help of a skilled household manager.”  I inclined my head. “Happy to be of service in any way I can.” “Splendid!” The keeper, who introduced himself as Shakir, took me to a small room with a cot and a desk near the cells where the prisoners were kept. It did have a small window though. “This will be your room, then. I'm sure it isn't much compared to your chambers in Potiphar's house, but at least it is neither a cell, nor the gallows, eh?”  I managed a smile. “I am very grateful for your kindness. I will work hard for you and will not take it for granted.”  Shakir blinked at me again and shook his head. “Poor kid,” he murmured at last, more to himself than to me. “Those good looks of yours are a curse.” With that, he left me alone and closed the door behind me.  In the silence that followed, I approached the window, leaning on the sill and looking up to the stars. I reminded myself how many years my ancestor Abraham had believed the Lord for a son, looking at those very same stars. His descendants were not yet so numerous, but certainly my father had been fertile. My chest ached as I thought of my brothers, particularly of my little brother Benjamin. He had been nine when my half-brothers had sold me into slavery. He would be nineteen now. I wondered what he looked like. I wondered if he remembered me. I wondered if— No, I stopped myself. I had been about to wonder if my dreams would ever come to pass. They certainly looked impossible, as I went from my father's favorite son, to slave, and now to prisoner. But the Lord had given me two dreams for a reason: that told me that the future it foretold was not conditional. It would happen. It was not up to me to determine how, or when. I must continue to cling to that; I must continue to believe that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living, or my heart would faint. Especially tonight, of all nights.  Many years ago, I'd had to release my anger and bitterness toward my half brothers, or it would already have eaten me alive. Tonight, the image of Edrice's scandalous dress and haughty smirk floated back to me, and I gnashed my teeth. She belonged here, not me… but I knew the memory came because the Lord wanted me to release her to Him too. He was a God of justice—I knew this, despite how things looked, because of the covenant He had made with my father Abraham. He'd said to him, “Your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies.” The gate was the place of power and influence, was it not?  I had had power and influence over Potiphar's house, relatively speaking. I now already seemed to have the favor of the keeper of the prison. Was that all God's promise had meant for me? Was this the extent of the blessing I could expect upon my life? No, I told myself emphatically, closing my eyes and deliberately conjuring again the memories of the dreams, now rather faded and possibly distorted with time. I saw again my brothers' sheaves of wheat bowing down to mine, and then the sun, moon and stars bowing to me. The Lord gave me those dreams in advance because He knew I would need them, in addition to what I knew of the covenant to His people in general, to sustain me through this dark period of my life. It would not last forever. It must not. Somehow, somehow—I would be reunited with my brothers and my family again. The Lord would place me in a position of power and influence. How prison was a stepping stone to anything, I certainly did not know. But He was God, and I was not.  “I trust You,” I murmured aloud to the Lord. “I forgive my brothers, I forgive Edrice, and I leave their punishment to You. I trust You to bring Your word to pass in my life. Somehow.”  I heard nothing back. I wished God would speak to me, the way He had to some of my ancestors, and even to my father Jacob. But I felt the comfort of those stars winking down at me from above, and I knew He saw me and He cared. I was not forgotten.  Over the next days and weeks, I got to know the prisoners as well as Shakir, and learned the business of prison—for business it was. We had finances and shipments from Pharaoh for the upkeep of both prison and prisoners, schedules to manage and enforce, and some of the prisoners also engaged in labor as part of their service. I could see why Shakir had been overwhelmed before. But I applied the management skills I had gained in Potiphar's household to management of the prison, and within the first month, I gained not only Shakir's trust but his admiration and gratitude as well. He often referred to me as a “gift from the gods,” though he'd always look a bit abashed after he said it, conscious that he was profiting from my misfortune. When he apologized for the third time after a declaration like this, I finally smiled at him and said, “It is all right. The Lord is with me, and He will repay me for what was stolen.”  Shakir blinked, and seemed to want to say something. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. He walked away with a puzzled look on his face.  In time, the prisoners and Shakir came to be a sort of makeshift family to me, just as Babu at the other servants had been. I was surprised to wake up one day and realize that I was happy again. Despite all, I found great satisfaction in doing my work well, and in the relationships I had formed with those around me. I genuinely cared about my fellow prisoners. I came to know their stories, and wept for those whose stories were even more tragic than mine. Of course there were a few actual criminals among them, but in short order I won over even them. I rejoiced with those whose sentences were completed or commuted when they returned to freedom, even though I was still imprisoned indefinitely, with no apparent hope of escape. They were perplexed how I could maintain such hope in such a place—so I taught them about the Lord, about the covenant He had made with my fathers.  “That's all very well for you,” one of them grumbled at first, “but your god has never spoken to me or my fathers. What hope do I have?”  “It's not about what He's said or hasn't said,” I insisted. “Yes, He made a covenant with my fathers to prosper and bless them, but how could I be assured that that blessing would extend to every one of their descendants, including me? Yes, I had two dreams that suggested I would be blessed”—I had told the prisoners the secret of my dreams, in due time—“but those were very obscure, after all. If I wished to doubt their meaning, particularly after all that has happened to me, I certainly could. What assures me is the character of Him who made those promises to my father Abraham. It isn't about what He has done, but about who He is. He told Abraham that through him, every nation of the world would be blessed, not just Abraham's direct descendants. That includes you, too! He is both good and mighty, as well as trustworthy. So yes, I have hope, and always shall have. You can have that same hope, if you want it.”  A few months after I had arrived, the prison received two new rather illustrious prisoners from the Pharaoh's own household: his butler and his baker. I felt sorry for them, as they seemed exceedingly upset to have found themselves in such a predicament. We all understood; every one of us, even the guilty ones, went through a period of first denial, then anger, then grief, and ultimately a depressed sort of acceptance when we arrived here. It was even worse for the two of them, as the butler had no idea why he was there at all. The baker's cooking had apparently displeased the capricious Pharaoh one too many times.  “I don't know what I said,” the butler moaned to me, his head in his hands. “I don't know what I did…”  I clucked my tongue sympathetically as the baker sat beside him, patting his arm. “One never knows,” he murmured, “Pharaoh is like a child.”  “Shh!” hissed the butler, horrified. “You must not say things like that?”  The baker gave a short laugh. “Why not? What else is he going to do to me?” He gestured at the bars of their cell; they were currently in the same one, as I had allowed them to comfort one another as they could.  “He could kill us, of course!” the butler hissed back, “the walls have ears, I'm sure!”  “You are as safe as I can make you here,” I assured them. “We're all family here, right guys?” I called to the other prisoners. Shouts, claps, and grunts from the other nearby prisoners responded to this, and I flashed a brief grin at the newcomers. “We're here if you need us. Take your time.”  It was a few weeks before the butler and baker worked their way through the various stages of acceptance of their new predicament. I marveled as I watched their fellow prisoners commiserate with them in the process, feeling how I'd imagine a proud father might feel as he watches one child comfort another in his distress. One day after both the baker and butler had adjusted to life in prison, and had grown cheerful for the most part, I noticed an abrupt change. Both of them seemed sad and troubled again, and did not perform their work as efficiently as usual. I frowned.  “What is wrong?” I asked them. “Why do you both seem so sad today?”  The butler said for both of them, “We each have had a dream, and there is no interpreter of it.”  The vision of my own dreams to which I had clung for the past many years flashed across my mind as I said, “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell them to me, please.” The two men exchanged a look, and then the butler ventured, “Behold, in my dream a vine was before me, and in the vine were three branches; it was as though it budded, its blossoms shot forth, and its clusters brought forth ripe grapes. Then Pharaoh's cup was in my hand; and I took the grapes and pressed them into Pharaoh's cup, and placed the cup in Pharaoh's hand.” My heart swelled as he spoke. I understood the dream's meaning, and I also knew, I knew this was to be my salvation as well!  “Here's the meaning. The three branches are three days. Within three days, Pharaoh will get you out of here and put you back to your old work—you'll be giving Pharaoh his cup just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer. Only remember me when things are going well with you again—tell Pharaoh about me and get me out of this place. I was kidnapped from the land of the Hebrews. And since I've been here, I've done nothing to deserve being put in the dungeon.” The baker's eyes lit up too, and he declared, “Three days—that will be Pharaoh's birthday! That is often when he commutes sentences…” He turned to me and said eagerly, “Tell me what my dream means too! It went like this: I saw three wicker baskets on my head; the top basket had assorted pastries from the bakery and birds were picking at them from the basket on my head.”  I blinked at the baker, and felt my heart sink to my stomach. He saw my expression and his own faltered too. I knew this interpretation at once, also, but wished I did not have to tell him. “This is the interpretation: The three baskets are three days; within three days Pharaoh will hang you from a tree, and the birds will pick your bones clean.” All the color faded from his cheeks, and his mouth fell open. The three of us sat in silence, not even looking at each other. At last I placed a hand on the baker's shoulder, who shrugged it off and hid his face. The butler and I exchanged a sympathetic look.  “Well,” the butler said to me in a low tone, “at least we know that you do not hesitate to prophesy good or evil. In three days' time, we shall see.”  I nodded, knowing full well what we should see. I reminded the baker, more soberly now, “Do not forget me.” “I won't,” he promised.    Three days later it happened just as the Lord had shown me through the dreams. Pharaoh held a feast in honor of his own birthday, and summoned the butler and the baker from the prison in the middle of it. Shakir, who had been at the feast, arrived with guards to escort them. We all watched them go in dead silence. Everyone was nervous for them.  Before they all vanished, I took Shakir by the arm, and asked, “Please return after the feast tonight, no matter how late it is, and tell us all what became of them.” Shakir gave me a strange look. “I thought you already knew.” “I do,” I confirmed. “But for the sake of the rest of the prisoners.”  He gave me a small nod, and left, last behind the guards.  Around the third watch of the night, Shakir returned again, looking haggard. Most of the prisoners dozed, but lightly. We all roused when we saw his lantern and heard his footsteps. I sat up first.  “Well?”  Shakir sighed. “It was as Joseph predicted,” he confirmed. “The butler was restored to the right hand of Pharaoh. The baker…” he shook his head and bowed it. There was a moment of silence. A few of the prisoners swore. One quietly sobbed. We had all grown quite fond of the two men.  Despite my sorrow for the murder of the baker, I could not entirely forget that I now had an ally at the right hand of Pharaoh. I had reminded him several times not to forget me. Surely he wouldn't! Every day I anticipated a retinue of soldiers to come and release me as well. When they did not come after a week, I grew confused.  When they did not come after two weeks, I sank into depression, for the first time since those weeks riding across the desert to Egypt. Even when I'd been thrown into prison, I'd maintained my faith, and bounced back quickly. But now, when I was alone at night, I cried out to God.  “It's been eleven years!” I told Him in a hissing whisper, like He didn't know. “Eleven years!” I panted with rage, until I finally needed an outlet of some kind and pounded my fists against my wall. “Am I ever getting out of here? Did You forget about me? Do you care at all?”  I knew the answers to all of these things by the quiet reproach in my mind as soon as I'd said them. At once, my rage melted away and I crumpled, giving way to tears for the first time in years. I buried my face in my hands and wept, feeling small and vulnerable, like the child I had once been in my mother's lap. She had died giving birth to my brother Benjamin, when I was only eight years old. I conjured her in my mind now, picturing her caresses on my back as I remembered them until I had no more tears left within me. They were followed by first a dull numbness, and then, inexplicably, a sense of peace. I fell asleep to the vision of the sun, moon, and stars bowing down to me once again, a reassurance that despite the apparent setbacks, the Lord had promised. He would fulfill His word.    Over the next few days, I acknowledged to myself that it was the hope of an immediate fulfillment that had set me up for such disappointment; before, when I had placed no timeline on my deliverance, I had been able to thrive regardless of my circumstances. Now that it was clear that the butler had forgotten me, I let go of my expectations and became my old cheerful self again, caring for my inmates and managing them well. The Lord would deliver me when and how He might, but I'd just as soon not know until it happened. I never wanted to go through that again. Two more years passed before that moment finally came, and it was as abrupt as I could have wished for. I was in my office, calculating income versus expenses for the prison, when the palace guards arrived.  “We are looking for the Hebrew called Joseph,” announced the guard.  I frowned. “I am he.”   The guard bowed to me—a prisoner. “You have been summoned to the Throne Room by His Majesty, Pharaoh.”  My mind went blank. My mouth reacted first.  “May I… be permitted to make myself presentable first?” I gestured at the filthy rags of an inmate I wore, and my long, unkempt beard and hair.  “You may. Come.”  A few of the prisoners whose cells were close enough to hear some of the commotion pressed their faces to their bars curiously. Shakir, who had heard the entire interaction, watched me with wide-eyed fear. I knew he was remembering what had happened to the baker. But that made sense—Pharaoh had known and been offended by him. He should have no knowledge of my existence.  Unless… my heart beat faster as the guard led me to the river to bathe, and provided me with a razor, a servant, and a change of clothes. I bathed as quickly as I could, my nervousness only growing as I did so. I did not let my mind imagine, in case this was not what it appeared to be. When I emerged from the water, dried myself and put on the new garments, the servant combed and used the razor to trim my hair and beard before shaving my face clean. When he had finished, he gestured back to the water, inviting me to look at my new self. Tentatively, I did so, though I dreaded the change I might find—the last time I had beheld my own reflection was when I still served in Potiphar's home, three years ago. I feared that my ordeal in the prison might have aged me ten years or more.  I blinked at the man who peered down at me, and swallowed hard, raising my hands to my own chin gingerly. I had not been clean shaven since I was a boy; the face I saw therefore looked significantly younger than the one I remembered. I might have been a teenager again, though I had turned thirty this year. The guard, who had waited for my transformation, now stepped forward and beckoned me.  “Pharaoh is not a patient man. Come,” he said, and I followed. The whole thing felt incredibly surreal, as I crossed the threshold of the enormous vestibule of the palace. Potiphar's house had been a shack by comparison. The marble pillars held up a ceiling so high it might have been the sky. Colorful mosaics lined the floors, and intricate paintings of great exploits decorated the walls. The opulence astounded me; I could not stop staring, even though I kept pace with the guard.  In the throne room were four men dressed in Egyptian finery. Three were gray haired and weathered. The fourth stood at a window with his arms clasped behind him, his forearms adorned with thick gold bracelets. He alone of the four wore a geometric headdress, his tunic bedecked with purples and golds, complete with a gold sash. He turned as we entered, and I saw Pharaoh's face for the first time. He had the swarthy, coppery skin of all of the Egyptians, his black beard close-cropped. I saw that he was not much older than I was. He might have even been younger. “Joseph the Hebrew prisoner, Your Majesty,” bowed the guard, and backed away, leaving Pharaoh and me to face one another alone. The other three—advisors? servants?—stood at a respectful distance, but close enough to hear. Pharaoh regarded me with an expression I could not read. I knew nothing of the etiquette; should I speak first or wait for him to address me? Should I bow? Surely I should bow. I had just made up my mind to do this and started, when Pharaoh abruptly began.  “I dreamed a dream,” he announced. “Nobody can interpret it. But I've heard that just by hearing a dream you can interpret it.” This is it, I realized in dazed wonder. This is really it.  I found my tongue. “Not I, but God. God will set Pharaoh's mind at ease.” Pharaoh searched my face. Something about my answer gave him pause. Then he went on, “In my dream I was standing on the bank of the Nile. Seven cows, shimmering with health, came up out of the river and grazed on the marsh grass. On their heels seven more cows, all skin and bones, came up. I've never seen uglier cows anywhere in Egypt. Then the seven skinny, ugly cows ate up the first seven healthy cows. But you couldn't tell by looking—after eating them up they were just as skinny and ugly as before. Then I woke up.  “In my second dream I saw seven ears of grain, full-bodied and lush, growing out of a single stalk, and right behind them, seven other ears, shriveled, thin, and dried out by the east wind. And the thin ears swallowed up the full ears. I've told all this to the magicians but they cannot tell me what the dreams mean.” My mind whirred with images and understanding as Pharaoh spoke, as clearly as if there had been no parable at all. The second dream overlay the first in my mind, making me even more certain that my interpretation of the first had been correct.  Thank you, Lord, I prayed silently. To Pharaoh, I said, “Pharaoh's two dreams both mean the same thing. God is telling Pharaoh what he is going to do. The seven healthy cows are seven years and the seven healthy ears of grain are seven years—they're the same dream. The seven sick and ugly cows that followed them up are seven years and the seven scrawny ears of grain dried out by the east wind are the same—seven years of famine. “The meaning is what I said earlier: God is letting Pharaoh in on what he is going to do. Seven years of plenty are on their way throughout Egypt. But on their heels will come seven years of famine, leaving no trace of the Egyptian plenty. As the country is emptied by famine, there won't be even a scrap left of the previous plenty—the famine will be total. The fact that Pharaoh dreamed the same dream twice emphasizes God's determination to do this and do it soon. “So, Pharaoh needs to look for a wise and experienced man and put him in charge of the country. Then Pharaoh needs to appoint managers throughout the country of Egypt to organize it during the years of plenty. Their job will be to collect all the food produced in the good years ahead and stockpile the grain under Pharaoh's authority, storing it in the towns for food. This grain will be held back to be used later during the seven years of famine that are coming on Egypt. This way the country won't be devastated by the famine.” I had watched the transformation in Pharaoh's face as I spoke. His hard features softened, his eyes widened, and I could see that the Lord had confirmed my words to him. He withdrew to consult with his advisors in low tones that I could not hear—yet I could hardly suppress the smile that stretched across my lips.  Pharaoh returned to me, his advisors right behind him this time.  “You shall be the one in charge of all you propose. No one is as qualified as you in experience and wisdom. From now on, you're in charge of my affairs; all my people will report to you. Only as king will I be over you. I'm putting you in charge of the entire country of Egypt.” I stared at him, my mind blank. I had expected that he would believe me; that he would favor me; even that I would never return to prison. But… what had he just said?  His next actions confirmed it: he took a signet ring off of his own hand, took my own hand, and placed it upon my finger. Behind me, servants I had not seen enter the room draped my shoulders with a fine linen garment, and my neck with a gold chain. As they did all this, Pharaoh went on, “I am Pharaoh, but no one in Egypt will make a single move without your approval. We must do something about your Hebrew name, though. Henceforth, you shall be known as Zaphenath-Paneah.” I bit my lip to keep the surge of tears at bay—the new name meant in Egyptian, God Speaks and He Lives. I met Pharaoh's eyes, and to my utter amazement, I found him smiling at me fondly, like we were almost peers. More than that—like we were kin.  This man just met me! How— I am restoring all that was stolen from you, the Lord whispered to my heart. Sevenfold.  I found myself ushered along with Pharaoh's servants like a tide sweeping out to sea. The day played out like a dream: they helped me into Pharaoh's second chariot, and rode me around Egypt, introducing me to the people of the land by shouting before me, “Bow the knee! Bow the knee to Zaphenath-Paneah, second in command of all of Egypt!”    I expected to wake the next morning back in prison. It took me several confused moments to remember what had happened when I saw the luxurious bed with linen curtains, and the window with a view of all of Egypt, through which the early morning sunlight streamed in. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and sat up to see servants bustling about in a corner of the enormous room, laying out my breakfast. One of them looked up and said, “Ah, my lord is awake.” He brought the food over to my bed, and then beckoned to someone outside the room. One of the advisors I had seen with Pharaoh in my encounter with him yesterday approached and bowed, introducing himself as Lateef. “My lord Zaphenath-Paneah,” he began. “We have much to discuss. Would you prefer to eat in silence and seek me after, or—” “No, no, Lateef, please.” I gestured to a chair by the window. Lateef accepted it and seated himself as I ate. He then proceeded to tell me all of the plans Pharaoh had discussed with them on my behalf while I was riding around the city in Pharaoh's second chariot: where I was to live, who I was to marry (marry? I thought in amazement), and how I was to begin to implement the recommendations I had made to Pharaoh regarding the collection of grain. He rattled off the names of master builders they had already recruited to build both my home—to be constructed on land adjacent to the palace—and the massive storage facilities they would need to store up dried grain. Lateef was here to ask my preferences on the architecture and building materials for my home. Would I like essentially a miniature palace? Would I like a pool indoors and open to the sky, for bathing and recreation? Would I like my bedroom to face east or west? Did I prefer mosaics or simpler flooring and walls?  All the questions made my head spin. I had been merely a servant in Potiphar's house, and now my own home would be many times as grand as his. I weakly indicated that I trusted the master architects' tastes and would be extremely gratified by whatever they chose. Lateef gave a short nod to this. Then he announced, “Pharaoh also hopes that my lord will be pleased to take Asenath to wife: she is the daughter of Poti-Pherah, priest of On.”  I had heard about the Egyptian god On, of course; he was one of many Egyptian gods. I had a brief flash of concern that my wife would worship another god, but then I realized, what alternative did I have? The same would be true of any woman in Egypt. At least they were polytheists, and therefore would not object to my worship of the one true God. And, given the new name Pharaoh had bestowed upon me of God Speaks and He Lives, the same appeared to be true of Egyptians in general.  “I would be most honored,” I told Lateef.  He beamed. “Splendid. We shall arrange the wedding to coincide with the completion of your house, so that you may have a home for your bride.”  Pharaoh recruited so many workers to construct my home and storage facility that both were completed within a few months. During that time, I met and courted Asenath, and was dazzled by her. Pharaoh had clearly selected her for me not only because of her pedigree, but also for her own merits. Beautiful, accomplished, and demure, she was one of the most highly sought women in the land. I was pleased to find that she was also very intelligent when I gave her the opportunity to engage with me on matters of state, and at least did not object to my worship of the Lord. I would hope for more than mere acquiescence to Him in time.  I otherwise spent my days touring the land of Egypt, observing the abundance of the  land, collecting and drying, pickling, salting, smoking, or fermenting one fifth of the produce of the land. Until my granaries were completed, I stored what I could, where I could, but I had designated store houses before long.  One day on these tours, I caught sight of my old master, Potiphar. He saw me too. After a moment's hesitation, he bowed, his expression like stone. I approached him alone, motioning for some of my servants who usually moved with me to remain behind. I did not know what I would say until we stood face to face.  “Zapthnath-Paaneah,” Potiphar growled my new name pointedly. “Tell me, does Pharaoh know your true identity, Joseph the adulterous Hebrew slave-turned-prisoner?”  I searched Potiphar's face. “I believe you know, deep down, that I never betrayed you, and never would have done. As I told you at the time, it was your wife who attempted to seduce me, and left me no choice but to run. She accused me because I jilted her.” I watched as Potiphar's face turned red with suppressed rage, and he balled his fists at his sides. But as I was now second in command over Egypt, he would not dare assault me. “Your

One more day to the weekend and today was all over the place. Talked about Luke Combs Crocs, My cat Keagan needs Detox and a 9-year-old did something that rocks. Oooh, that rhymed. Thanks for letting me hang out.

Oooh baby, it's like a Kiss from a Rose! Sequelize It is back with the (unfairly?) maligned Batman Forever! Featuring Adam Sandler impressions and more praise than you were expecting! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sequelizeit/message

By special request we're talking about the episode of Saturday Night Live hosted by Elon Musk.  Oooh boy was this an unpleasant viewing experience.  Elon Musk makes you long for the days when the show would always have quality hosts like Mr. T, Hulk Hogan, Nancy Kerrigan, and George Foreman, you know, true acting powerhouses.  Nowadays I gotta watch Elon Musk read his lines clumsily off cue cards next to SNL cast members who are pretty much doing the same thing.  Everything sucks in this one, except for Beck Bennett's Pennsylvanian accent.  Sketches include all 47 cast members talking to their mothers, Gen Z Hospital, The Ooli Show, Wario Trial, Chad in space, and a sketch where cowboys talk about Elon Musk while the show secretly puckers up to plant a big one on his ass.  Enjoy!Full archive of all podcast episodes available at saturdaynightjive.blogspot.comEmail us anything at saturdaynightjivepodcast@gmail.comDownload Here

Today we feature a Hallowe'en Talking Head for all you Zombie-lovers: Oooh... scared kids? Plus, Robb has a spicy FAT ATTACK, Mike dreads the apology tour, and "don't shoot me, I'm only the guitar player".

Ken je dat gevoel dat het borrelt en bruist in jou? Dat je als een kind staat te trappelen van verlangen en ongeduld? Oooh, ik hóu zo van dat gevoel. En meer dan dat. Dit geborrel en gebruis is mijn kompas. Het laat me ervaren welke richting ik op moet bewegen. Het is alsof ik een blik in de toekomst krijg en dat ik alleen nog die richting hoef te volgen om die toekomst te manifesteren. Het klinkt misschien als hokus pokus, maar zo werkt dat voor mij. Een voorbeeld: Het was 2011. Met veel liefde en plezier werkte ik in mijn succesvolle praktijk voor kindertherapie en ouderbegeleiding. Maar er zat meer in mij... Ik voelde dat er iets aan het groeien was in mij, maar ik had geen idee over het hoe en wat. Door een vriendin werd ik meegenomen naar een seminar. En toen voelde ik het in al mijn cellen van mijn lijf wat er aan het groeien was. Het was een theatershow voor ouders! Hmmm, wel een beetje gek eigenlijk, want ik heb totaal geen theaterervaring. Kwam zelfs bijna nooit in een theater... Maar toch voelde ik dat ik op dat podium zou gaan staan! Ik zou ouders in een theatershow meenemen op een vermakelijke én leerzame reis over het ouderschap. Ik zou ze laten ervaren hoe het eigenlijk werkt, die wisselwerking tussen zichzelf en de kinderen. Het zou met een lach en een traan gaan, met muziek en verstilling. Als een hartverwarmende rollercoaster. Door al dat geborrel en bruis kon ik die nacht niet slapen. Hiep hoi, hiep hoi, hiep hoi! Dát gevoel. Om 4 uur 's nachts sprong ik nog steeds op mijn hotelbed van vreugde! Na het seminar ging het gewone leven weer verder. Oké, ik had tijdens het seminar weliswaar de toekomst gevoeld en gezien. Tegerlijkertijd voelde ik dat de tijd nog niet rijp was om er meteen actie op te ondernemen. Het was als een zaadje dat eerst nog stilletjes in de grond mocht rijpen. In 2017 bleek het zaadje opeens rijp. Ik boekte een zaal en maakte mijn allereerste theatershow. Op 15 december 2017 beleefde ik mijn theaterdebuut voor notabene een uitverkochte zaal. Een vriendin zei: "ik zag je thuiskomen op dat podium". En ja, zo voelde ik dat zelf ook. Ik had er plezier in en de reacties uit de zaal waren fantastisch:) Dus dat smaakte absoluut naar meer! TV Gelderland maakte trouwens een reportage over mijn theaterdebuut. Kijk maar eens (klik hier) en let vooral ook op die allerlaatste 10 seconden, waarin je een kijkje achter de coulissen krijgt met mijn ontlading van vreugde... >>>> Fast forward naar 2019 Ik stond met Theatershow Kindlief voor uitverkochte (!) zalen in Nijmegen, Arnhem, Almere, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Amersfoort en Vlaardingen. Er stond een nieuwe theatershow gepland in 2020, die ver in het voren grotendeels uitverkocht was. En toen pfffff.... kwam corona. Rustig afwachten wat er in deze onzekere tijden ging gebeuren was niet aan bij besteed...Dus maakte ik een speciale online versie van Theatershow Kindlief, voor de ouders thuis. Precies een jaar geleden ging het in online-premiére. En jeetje... ook bij deze online versie ben ik overladen met enthousiaste, mooie, ontroerende reacties van ouders, die het juist extra fijn vonden om deze show vanuit de beslotenheid van hun eigen huis te kunnen kijken. Zoals die van een moeder die mij liet weten dat dit haar beter had geholpen dan al die jaren therapie die ze achter de rug had: "Dit is het beste geld dat ik ooit heb uitgegeven", schreef zij mij. Voor meer reacties zie www.eliseverheul.nl/kindlief >>>> Fast forward naar 30 oktober 2021 20:30 uur Ik heb gaaf nieuws voor jou, want binnenkort is Theatershow Kindlief weer te zien! En kun ook JIJ naar deze leerzame, grappige en ontroerende theatershow kijken. Gewoon vanuit de privacy vanuit je eigen huis. Dat is wel net zo fijn, zo zonder testbeleid aan de deur... En je hoeft bovendien je geschater en gesnotter niet in te houden. Dat is ook wel net zo fijn:) Zaterdag 30 oktober, 20:30 - 22:30 uur Reserveer jouw plaats in de online theaterzaal op www.eliseverheul.nl/kindlief

Oooh… this episode is a watershed moment. I make a big announcement. Back in episode 50, I gave the podcast microphone to my colleague and friend Sean Lavin to interview on the show, to reflect on what i'd learnt both personally and professionally from the show.It's now 147 episodes (and weeks!) later. I think I've grown up a little. My perspective has changed, so I thought it was a fitting moment to sit back into the guest seat and reflect on that journey, while also sharing a pretty massive update (from my perspective!) about the First Time Facilitator podcast.This time, I invited a listener to jump into the host seat.When I was planning this episode and releasing “the news”, I wanted to pull it back to my intention of starting the podcast in February 2018.  Back then, I really was a first time facilitator, working in Organisational Development but pulled in to lead workshops with little experience - desperately wanting to get better at creating engaging experiences and group dialogue.So,  I handed the microphone to a listener who demonstrates the values of this show: An energy and willingness to reach out, a growth mindset, someone willing to say yes, accept opportunities..I'm delighted to announce your host for today's episode is Jan Szmanda. Jan is a facilitator, L&D geek, board gamer, new puppy parent, and long time FTF listener. Based out of Madison WI in the US, he currently has the privilege of running workshops on leadership development and team effectiveness and is excited to continue growing in the field of organizational development. You can find him most active on Twitter and LinkedIn and he'd love to connect with you! Jan's enthusiasm about this podcast shines through, he's listened to the show since 2019 and taken great  notes over the years. Most importantly, he's taken ideas from this show, tried things out.As I mentioned, there's a big announcement in this podcast and if you'd like to help me in celebrating 200 episodes of First Time Facilitator, I'd really love to get your voice on the show.To share what First Time Facilitator has taught you, has inspired from you, or anything really - head on over to leannehguhes.com/200 to share what the show has done for you!About today's host: Jan SzmandaJan Szmanda is a facilitator, L&D geek, board gamer, new puppy parent, and long time FTF listener. Based out of Madison WI in the US, he currently has the privilege of running workshops on leadership development and team effectiveness and is excited to continue growing in the field of organizational development. You can find him most active on Twitter and LinkedIn and he'd love to connect with our listeners.Resources mentioned in this episode:ATD MAC Fall 2021 Conference: Facilitating the Unnown. It's on 9 November. Please, please please - jump into action and share how this podcast has helped you out - 200th Episode of First Time FacilitatorJump into The FlipchartClick here for show notesSupport the show (https://buymeacoffee.com/leannehughes)

Oooh don't call me that! This week I rant a little, go on many tangents, talk about terms of endearment, and more! Enjoy! :)

Top three comedy catchphrases this week with some dotted amongst the episode. Find out what the old ladies favourite podcast is, there's celebrity(ish) dating and we go old skool with Stu's mic being too loud throughout. Michael Stipe visits all 92 football league grounds, there's a live How 2 recording and three ladies fight for Stu's attention after his questionable dating profile is read out. All this and your regular features too.

Joe Pulizzi talks with Jason Barnard about media is the new marketing. This doesn't feel like a podcast episode, this more feels like a media marketing crash course!! Rather than fighting with organizations with the same audience as yours, Joe Pulizzi and Jason Barnard believe in the power of networking which brings you to a massive, ever-expanding audience - something you can't achieve with a walled garden approach. So an intelligent mix of consortiums, guesting, side projects, partnerships, and self-produced is the winning formula ;) Trying to be present everywhere and creating content for the sake of content both get a big, big thumbs down from Joe (the content marketing master). He greatly believes in niching down, in finding a place or two where you can shine and create a remarkable impact. Oooh and as promised for this episode, Joe discusses the seven steps to build an online audience that can lead to multiple revenue streams WITH ANY BUDGET!  It begins with identifying the audience's pain points then offering a solution which turns out to be your product or service (the order of these two tasks is important).Second point, doing better than anyone else consistently over a long period of time.Point four is moving your social media audience over to a more controlled asset (email list).Point 5 is where you can diversify into multiple channels.Point 6 is knowing the right time to monetize ;)Lastly, looking for an opportunity to sell your property… or choose to build it bigger. After each question, Joe sighs delightfully just before giving the most eloquent, helpful, and creative answer ;) What you'll learn from Joe Pulizzi 00:00 Joe Pulizzi and Jason Barnard00:58 Joe Pulizzi's Brand SERP in the US ad Mauritius02:08 How far can a networking approach take you?05:36 Content about you is great for your Brand SERP your EAT, and expanding your audience08:28 How many years should you dedicate to building your audience?12:36 Identify the intersection of your expertise and your future customer's needs15:27 Determine how to “tilt” and find a sweet spot where little or no competition exists18:33 Establish your #1 channel for distributing your content (blog, podcast, YouTube, etc.)20:54 Producing more and more content is a losing proposition24:26 Use social-media and SEO to convert one-time visitors into long-term subscribers30:19 Grow your business by expanding into multiple delivery channels32:18 Monetize your product or service for ultimate business success38:57 Understand how to sell your content asset for millions or build the business into a large enterprise This episode was recorded live on video October 19th 2021 Recorded live at Kalicube Tuesdays (Digital Marketing Livestream Event Series). Watch the video now >>

Oooh, desert bar! The gang is back together again to discuss the end of RHOBH's season and the start of their epic 4-part finale. Rinna and Dorit clearly want to form sides against Garcelle and we are firmly joining the latter's team. What is passively progressive, anyways?! Then we discuss the most recent episodes of RHOSLC and RHOP. Come and worship with The Church of Housewives!

Get ready for some serious and sexy energy elevation! On this episode of The Milli Fox Show, Milli sits down with Genevieve Rackham, a feminine energy, wealth embodiment and business coach. Milli and Genevieve discuss the energies of pleasure, desire, and doubt, and how these energies can help us stand in our true power. Listen in to hear how Genevieve built her 7 figure business while embracing her full human experience and living in total alignment with her desires. Milli and Genevieve discuss: How Genevieve was led into the path of wealth embodiment Why being wealthy should come from a place of full self-honoring The feelings and power behind the phrase ‘ease & flow' The difference between being wealthy and embodying wealth Their personal experiences of stepping into their power How Genevieve trained her brain to support her in receiving energy The questions to ask to open the doorway to your intuition How to utilize the divine support that's available to all of us Connection to self and the part it plays in shifting into the new paradigm How Genevieve is growing a 7 figure business completely in alignment and with no sacrifice Want more of Genevieve? Connect with her here: @GenevieveRackham on IG The Rich Spiritual Money Bitches Facebook Group Milli Fox is a Manifestation Coach and host of The Milli Fox Show podcast.. Milli is obsessed with all things self-worth and manifestation (Think Brené Brown meets Gabby Bernstein with a sprinkle of goofy on top)! Milli's super power is her ability to clearly see women in their divine perfection and to reflect that back to them. Note From Milli: Hey, boos! Oooh we got sexy with it in this one! Between the water imagery and talk about receiving energy and loving yourself in the ‘space between,' this episode gave me all the feels! When we allow ourselves to trust, to experience the full range of human emotions, to let it be simple, that's when we can truly own our power and begin to receive all the goodness the universe has in store. After rising from $300 to a 7 figure business, Genevieve is a beautiful example of receiving through it all. Pop some headphones in and prepare yourselves - as Genevieve said, it's time to get out of your head and into your body! XO, Milli Wanting to become your most divine self? Then you're ready to work with Milli! The Whole-Hearted Manifestation Course is now enrolling! This is a 16 week course that will teach you how to become a conscious and powerful manifestor. Imagine the version of you that has fierce belief in herself and has gained access to her most powerful future. Pretty amazing, right? This course (and access to your higher self) is available now!!

We review the dominant win over Leeds United in the first game of the season for Manchester United. We talk about the players that stood out as well as the games and things that stood out from the opening weekend of the EPL. Oooh and Varane is a United player

Let me tell you about my trip to Aruba!!! I talk about the journey it took me and my man from Orlando to Aruba! Post COVID, post getting slapped in the face with a suitcase...(I'm not kidding lmao)...losing my PCR test at the airport, and then having a mental breakdown in the cab in Miami. What a glorious time! My friends, overall it was an amazing trip and I can't wait to share with you the good and the bad. Press play and grab your tequila sunrise because this story will take you on a ride! 

No Time (or energy) for Working Out?Pat Flynn is an expert in short, efficient and effective kettlebell workouts. In fact, he's a master at Kettlebell complexes. He's also a minimalist, generalist and dad to four, so he knows exactly how to get the most bang from his limited time.In this episode, Pat and I discuss all things related to how you can exercise when you're short for time, where people tend to get stuck, what the big rocks are, and hopefully a mindset of "something is better than nothing".Enjoy.What You Will Learn:0:00 Introduction03:51 What are Kettlebell Complexes?06:00 Workout efficiency & minimalism09:00 Getting your priorities straight with the Prisoner's Dilemma13:40 Where are people getting stuck?16:40 Engineering your own success 24:00 The most "enough" things you can do for your fitness26:08 Oooh, a fun complex idea27:50 Strong On, challenges, periodization, and pivot-points31:40 Two 16's, and wrapping up=================WHERE ELSE TO FIND ME, YOUR HOST:Join the Body Trust Movement: https://equippedwithstrength.comWorkout Membership: https://equippedwithstrength.com/enrollAll Programs and Coaching: https://equippedwithstrength.com/workout-programs/