Podcasts about she who wins

Hey Powerhouses, this week I'm chatting with award-winning divorce attorney and author, Renée Bauer. Renée shares her story of overcoming a major setback in her law firm, rebuilding her team, and finding new passion in her work. Together, we discuss the importance of realigning with your values, taking intentional steps in your career, and the power of resilience during tough times.Tune in for actionable advice on navigating challenges, building a strong business, and living a fulfilling life. Mentioned in this episode:Powerhouse VIP Sessions are created for the woman looking to do a 180 degree change in the way she does life and law! Get a 2 hour deep dive coaching session that springboards your transformation.https://www.eringerner.com/powerhouse-vip-sessions--Connect with Renée Bauer:Renée's website: https://www.familylawyerct.com/our-team/renee-c-bauer/Renée's book, She Who Wins: https://www.amazon.com/She-Who-Wins-Overcome-Uncertainty/dp/1953027083Stay connected with Erin GernerWebsite https://www.eringerner.com/   LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin-gerner/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/erin.w.gernerInstagram https://www.instagram.com/eringerner/?hl=en

Step into the world of real, unapologetic leadership with Lesley and Brad in this powerful recap episode. They revisit key insights from Erin Hatzikostas, author of You Do You(ish) and The 50% Rule. Learn about Erin's unique approach to authenticity, the impact of small experiments, and how to break free from overwhelm, one intentional action at time.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to be an authentic leader through small, tangible experiments.The power 50% rule and why it encourages intentional progress.The dangers of pioneer paralysis and how to overcome perfection pain.Brad's overcoming cold plunge hesitation through consistency.The importance of intent in authentic leadership and decision-making.Episode References/Links:Cambodia February 2025 RetreatDeck Flashcards WaitlistPilates Studio Growth AcceleratorOPC Winter TourErin Hatzikostas WebsiteErin's Hatzikostas Book, The 50% RuleErin's Hatzikostas Book, You Do You(ish)Erin Hatzikostas Podcast, b Cause Work Doesn't Have to SuckThe Big Leap by Gay Hendricks If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy WebinarResources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  When you give yourself permission to not do 100% but to start at 50% it doesn't seem so overwhelming. Lesley Logan 0:09  Yeah.Lesley Logan 0:11  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:52  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the authentic convo I had with Erin Hatzikostas in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you want to go listen to that one, because it's fucking great. She's amazing. She's a force to be reckoned with. And her book is out this week, guys.Brad Crowell 1:11  Her book is out this week.  Lesley Logan 1:13  All right, so today is Thursday, October 3rd 2024 and guess what day it is, you guys?Brad Crowell 1:20  I know. Lesley Logan 1:20  It's our anniversary day. About this day. Brad Crowell 1:26  About this day. Lesley Logan 1:27  Nine years ago, today, bless you, August. Brad Crowell 1:28  Why, you don't like our anniversary? Lesley Logan 1:31  Yeah, he does not. Nine years ago today, Brad and I got married in a hardware store on La Brea. And let me tell you that was a be it till you see it wedding. We really worked backwards from what we wanted. We had so much fun. We had all its ups and downs, but it was one of the most amazing nights that we still, I still love. Our pictures are beautiful and amazing. And so we're married for nine years, and we're spending it together in Cambodia.Brad Crowell 1:56  I know it's exciting. In fact, I think we'veLesley Logan 1:58  Usually we're like, flying. Oh, are we missing, one year we flew, and so the day we missed on the calendar was our anniversary day. So it's just very rare that we're either together or that it exists, because we're.Brad Crowell 1:59  Yes, I was literally just checking my calendar to be like, is it our anniversary, though? Lesley Logan 2:16  It is. Brad Crowell 2:17  It definitely is.Lesley Logan 2:17  It is. My grandparents would fight around their anniversary, if it was like November 2nd or November 3rd. And they fought forever. They fought for as long as my dad was alive, so I don't know, like 50-something years, right? My dad's still alive, but they're dead. Anyways, when my grandfather died, so yeah, my dad was in his 40s, 50s, late 40s, late 50s. My grandfather died. My grandmother took his wedding ring off, right? They gave it to him, and the fucking anniversary date is in the ring, engraved, and she was right the whole time. And he knew he had it in his ring. He knew what day it was. Anyways. So clearly, we're in Cambodia because we have a retreat, and you can join us in February. It's not too late. In fact, this is the best time to snag your spot, because it's the best time to even look at flights and everything.Brad Crowell 3:05  But on this day, you said, already, we got married in a hardware store. It was called The Loft at Liz's. I think it still is there. It's in Los Angeles. Lesley Logan 3:14  Very famous hardware store. Brad Crowell 3:15  Yeah, we had our wedding venue change on us last minute, and it turns out they have an art gallery upstairs in the back, and in there they also have a kitchen. And so it was actually even better than where we thought we wanted to get married initially, because we had all of our friends help us put the wedding on. So the chef was my friend, the photographer was Lesley's friend, the band was my friend.Lesley Logan 3:38  And also the kitchen was in the dancing area. So, like, the chef was part of the event. He wasn't like tucked away.Brad Crowell 3:39  He wasn't in the back room somewhere, like, slaving away, you know, he was part of the party and that made it even more fun. It was really lovely. So yeah, it was a super fun day.Lesley Logan 3:55  We only had 75 people in this wedding and we knew everyone but my hairdresser's fiance and it was so funny, because we made everybody wear black and white, and we wore the color, and you were walking around in color, getting ready for the wedding. You were ready for the wedding, right? And walking around. And I was hidden away, and he said to his fiance, now wife, but he said, like, that guy's wearing colors, like, that's the groom.Brad Crowell 4:18  That's the only one that we didn't know. You know what's really I was also laughing about this the other night, so we decided to do the after the party party at a bar right next door to the venue. Lesley Logan 4:30  This is hilarious. Brad Crowell 4:30  That I had been to, I don't know, a few times, like twice, three times. And I called them and I said, hey guys, this is Brad, my wife and I are going to get married. We want to come have our after party at your place. And they were like, that is so cool. We are so excited. We can't wait. It's gonna be amazing. I was like, great, all right, so we booked this whole thing, and they're like, you know what? We're even gonna do, champagne. It's gonna be so fun. And then, you know, a couple months go by and I call them, like, a month before the wedding, just to confirm everything, to lock it in, to triple check. Hey. Just to make sure we got a place sectioned off for us. And this, this other person answers the phone, and she said, we are so excited that you're coming. We love you. And I was like, you do? I was like, that's kind of weird. I've only been there a few times, but I'm so excited too. That's amazing.Lesley Logan 5:14  And also, we even said to ourselves, it's so weird. They didn't want a credit card. Brad Crowell 5:18  Yeah, they didn't ask for anything.Lesley Logan 5:19  They didn't ask for like, quantity of people.Brad Crowell 5:21  They were just like, love it. You guys come party here, right? So, so, okay, so we, we have our wedding, then we have our reception up in the art gallery, and then the night's closing down, and I'm like, anyone who wants to hang we're all gonna go right next door to this bar. And we show up at the bar, and I said, hey guys, I'm Brad, and I'm here with our wedding party. And there's 15 people piling in the door, and they're like, what? But what? It turns out, there was another fucking dude named Brad getting married on the exact same night who was a regular at that bar, and he and his new wife were also bringing the after party, and we both showed up at the same exact time.Lesley Logan 6:02  Yes, so they gave us. They did give us some champagne.Brad Crowell 6:05  They still did. (inaudible)Lesley Logan 6:08  We didn't have a table, we didn't have a section, but, like, it's okay. It was really a lot of fun. Brad Crowell 6:13  It was so funny and they definitely accommodated us. It was, made the miscommunication make more sense at that point. Lesley Logan 6:19  Do you have any, do you have any more things about this day before I roll back into. Brad Crowell 6:23  No, let's keep going. Lesley Logan 6:24  So, so we are in Cambodia. You can join us in Cambodia. There's room in the February retreat right now. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com we're going right after the Lunar New Year, so which is going to be really great.Brad Crowell 6:36  Oh it's gonna be amazing. Lesley Logan 6:36  Because the stuff from celebration, it's still going to be up, and it's just what they do is so beautiful. The sunrises of February are amazing. And so we hope you join us, crowsnestretreats.com.Brad Crowell 6:46  You should absolutely join us. February is going to be a great group, and it's gonna, it's a beautiful time of year. Yeah, next up.Lesley Logan 6:52  I'm gonna be going to L.A. when we get back. First, I actually have a little trip to Arizona, and then I'm going to be going to L.A. when we get back, and I'm going to be doing the photo shoot for the accessories deck. So you want to get on the wait list for that, because only those on the wait list get the presale price. Yes, you have to wait after you buy it, wait, but you get the best price on a new deck. And here's what you need to know about the waitlist. When I see that more and more people are on the waitlist, it's kind of like, like, happiness for Tinker Bell. Like, you know what I mean? Like, think happy thoughts for Tinker Bell, because there are times when I'm like, I'm so excited about this deck, and then there are times like, this deck is so much work, and so your.Brad Crowell 6:52  Think of a wonderful thing. Lesley Logan 7:30  Yeah, helps me fly, really is what it helps me do. So get on the waitlist at opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, we are making sure that so many of these accessories are things you either have at home or you can make at home. So on the YouTube channel, we've already made a two by four, we've made a sandbag, we made a toe corrector. We're going to work on the push-up devices. I have more research to do on that, but right now, I think you'd only have to do a Ped-O-Pul and then a (inaudible), and a foot corrector.Brad Crowell 8:02  Sounds amazing.Lesley Logan 8:03  There's the Breath-a-Cizer as well. It's one card, guys. So you could always skip that one. It's still good. Also, Brad is still offering his amazing webinar. Brad Crowell 8:03  That's right. Lesley Logan 8:03  It's the Accelerator. Tell them all about it. Brad Crowell 8:08  Yeah, if you are running a small fitness business, up to, like, a million dollars, you should come join us at the Pilates Studio Growth Accelerator that I've been hosting. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator if you're feeling stuck at all with your money, or getting new clients, or you're just not sure how to grow, move forward, any of those things, you could be about to be a teacher, a brand new teacher. You could have a home studio. You could be running a boutique studio. Any of those different roles, this is applicable for you. I want you to come join me. It's totally free. prfit.biz/accelerator. That's profit without the O, prfit.biz/accelerator.Lesley Logan 8:58  And then when all of this is going on, we're half-stop winter tour.Brad Crowell 9:02  That's right. Lesley Logan 9:03  We, it's the biggest tour we've ever done. Brad Crowell 9:05  Yeah, it's quite an undertaking. It's going to be 8200 miles. We're looking at 23 locations over 35 days, I think, like that. Wow. I'm very excited. Lesley Logan 9:18  It's a long time for me to be out of my routines. I'm just going to say it here. So we will be bringing some equipment on this shindig because I'm going to need it. Brad Crowell 9:27  Yeah, well, not only that, we're giving ourselves more days off in between. You know, this summer tour that we did was nine days in a row of teaching, plus we had the week before of like work, so we really didn't do ourselves any favors on that. This we're going to be a lot more intentional. We're going to take a day off here, a day off there, all throughout, so that we have a little bit of a breather and we get to explore different parts of the country a little bit more and enjoy ourselves. It's going to be amazing. Yeah, we can't wait. Yeah, you should come join us. Go to opc.me/tour, opc.me/tour.Lesley Logan 9:56  All right, we're about to get into Erin's amazingness, her authenticness, but before that we have an audience question. Brad Crowell 10:01  Yeah, we do. This is a cool one from YouTube. Sherryhenefin535 asks, hey I would like to make a Pedi Pole. Hope you have some ideas for this! I made my Gondola and Reformer poles from maple and gift to my teacher training students when they test out.Lesley Logan 10:17  Yeah, isn't that cool? So we actually showed how easy it is to make those. I mean, maple, so nice, that we just took whatever wood they sell.Brad Crowell 10:24  Yeah, we just got pine from the store. Wasn't anything fancy, although you could lacquer the pine and it would make it cool. You could paint it.Lesley Logan 10:30  You could also paint it. Mindy painted me a pole. Yeah, so cute. It's OPC colors. I love it so much. Brad Crowell 10:35  But Maple is fancy. Lesley Logan 10:36  So here's the deal about that. It's actually not that difficult to make but, but here's why, I wouldn't suggest you make it. The length of the pole you need to get that if you don't have some sort of like pole, what would you call a pole store, like a lumber store, like.Brad Crowell 10:58  A plumbing store, a hardware store.Lesley Logan 10:59  A plumbing store. But the length you need and the, it's not that thick, it's on purpose it's not that thick. So one of our eLevate grads. Brad Crowell 11:07  I bet you could call around and find a spot. Lesley Logan 11:09  So one of our eLevate grads Pilates (inaudible). So we know how detail-oriented this one is. Brad Crowell 11:15  Very much so. Lesley Logan 11:15  And how she's a project manager, so she can make anything happen. And she was going to make one, and after all the research they were going to do, they bought one instead, because to get the pole that you need, to ship that pole costs almost as much as a new Pedi Pole. Brad Crowell 11:34  Come on, really? Lesley Logan 11:36  So unless you live somewhere where this particular type of pole exists in the diameter, the right diameter, at the right length. It's not you can, like, attach two poles together. It's gonna be one long pole. So the shipping on one long pole is the problem. Brad Crowell 11:50  I see. Lesley Logan 11:50  And so it's not that expensive to buy. I think Contrology's is, I want to say it was like, I don't know, you could look it up. I felt like it was, like, five or 600 bucks. It's not the most expensive thing I've ever purchased in my life. Obviously, it might be more now, since cost of metal has gone up, but you'll have to order the springs from someone. And here's what I will tell you, Contrology will not sell you the Ped-O-Pul springs if you don't have a Ped-O-Pul. Brad Crowell 12:17  Yeah, it's just under 600 bucks. Lesley Logan 12:19  Yeah. So Contrology won't sell you. And by the way, during Black Friday Cyber Monday, which is coming up, they have a free shipping typically don't quote me, because I didn't tell them it's coming, but it's typically there every Black Friday Cyber Monday. Brad Crowell 12:30  And then. Lesley Logan 12:31  So you could use my discount. Brad Crowell 12:32  That's right. Lesley Logan 12:33  Get a little little off, save on the shipping, and then you just screw it in and you're done. So it's actually. Brad Crowell 12:37  If you want us to introduce you to them so you can get that discount. Just ping us and we'll happily make an email intro for you. Lesley Logan 12:42  Yeah, it's super easy. It's, our person is so nice that we'll take care of you. But here's the deal, if you live in some sort of metal yard, like you're in a famous area that's got poles, by all means, but what I will say is, again, it's gonna be very difficult to buy the Contrology Ped-O-Pul springs, because last time my friend who tried to make one that was shorter, because she's super short. So she made a shorter one that's like, the dimensions would have been like, you know, she tried to make it as close to what it was, but her ceilings are also low. She could not order the Ped-O-Pul springs from Contrology. She had to go through another company. Brad Crowell 13:17  That's annoying. Lesley Logan 13:18  And it's really annoying because other companies suck at customer service. So, Sherryhenefin535, there's a lot of things you can make, and there's some things that it's just probably cheaper based on how much time it's going to take you to hunt all these materials down. Just buy it.Brad Crowell 13:35  I love it. Awesome. All right. Well, if you're ready to get into what Erin Hatzikostas said, stick around. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 13:44  All right. Now let's talk about Erin Hatzikostas. Erin is a former corporate CEO turned entrepreneur, speaker and author of the books You Do You(ish) and The 50% Rule. She co-hosts the podcast, b Cause, that's B space C-A-U-S-E, b Cause Work Doesn't Have to Suck. That's the name of the pod. I love it. Erin is dedicated to helping leaders and organizations foster environments where authenticity is recognized and incentivized. I just really enjoyed her vibe.Lesley Logan 14:13  She's so fun. She's really a lot of fun. I saw her speak at She Who Wins, and even though, like, I could have had all these connections with her, Jessica Papineau is how I got introduced to her. Brad Crowell 14:24  Come on. Lesley Logan 14:25  Yeah. And then we did a coffee date, and we had way too much fun chatting back and forth. Brad Crowell 14:28  Yeah, she was here in town, right? Lesley Logan 14:29  And that, well, then, then I booked her on the pod, but before I interviewed her, she did come into town and I took an Uber, and we went to Superfriko, which is a bizarre restaurant to go to with a brand new friend. So, like, this weird, not a minion, not a penguin, but some sort of, like Monsters Inc. came out with a big lizo butt, and it like moves one butt cheek than the other. She got a kick out of it. Anyways, we talked a lot about authentic leadership and like that it doesn't happen overnight. And if you're like, I'm not, I don't know a leader, like we all are leaders of some kind. But let's just take just replace authentic leadership with be it till you see it. Be it till you see it doesn't happen overnight. You start and this is what she said about authentic leadership. You start with little experiments, and you observe more than you normally would. So if you normally just send out emails to people, and you don't really like, do a check in, like, oh, do we have a response rate on that? Did anyone actually write back in? You would actually do a little experiment, and then you would actually go, be more observant of that thing, just to see how it goes. And I love the word experiment, because we're not trying to be perfect here. You're just trying to see how this works. And it is a muscle. It's like, going to take it to the gym, which means you don't grab the big weights right up at once. You're going to grab little ones and you're going to you're going to work with that. So she also said you have to unlearn and you have to do tangible experiments to start collecting that quote, unquote data. So this is hard for us sometimes, too, because we're like, this is how it usually goes. Whenever we do something like, it usually just like, does this thing, and when something doesn't, like, hit it out of the ballpark right away. You have to, like, unlearn your expectation that things work out, and you have to focus on tangible experiments that you can actually go well, what worked there? And we've talked about this with agency members, like, reflecting on the things that you do, what actually happened? How many people did you present that information to? How many people bought like you have to go off of data, not feelings, and because it's really hard when you're stepping out of your comfort zone and you're trying to be more authentic, or trying to be it till you see it, it's easy to go off of vibes. And really you should be going off of the data. Brad Crowell 16:37  That's a really good point at the end. It just throws my example out the window, but. Lesley Logan 16:40  The vibes? Brad Crowell 16:41  Yeah, well, I was, I was thinking, I guess that's fair. So we got ourselves a cold plunge, right? And I haven't, like, really thought about it in the the way that we just described about data and vibes, but what I did notice is that we've now had it for, I don't know, four months, maybe every time I'm home, every day that I'm home, I've been using it. And what I noticed it took until this past week for me to just get all the way in right away. Like, just do it, get in bed. Lesley Logan 17:12  What were you doing before? Brad Crowell 17:13  I would stand in it and then sit and then lean back. Now, it's almost like, if I could freaking cannonball into that thing, I would do it, because it's almost like I'm in before I'm even cold, and then I'm cold and I'm cold all around my body at the same time. Then if I, like, sit my butt in first, and I'm like, it's cold, and then lean back, and then I'm like, you know? And so, like, this past week, what I've been doing.Lesley Logan 17:36  I haven't watched how you get in because I do step in, sit down pretty quickly, and then I lower myself back, and it's still lowering myself back that takes my breath away. Brad Crowell 17:46  Of course, that's what I mean. So.Lesley Logan 17:48  It feels like, it feels like the breath is literally being sucked out of my body, like I could watch it, like, there it goes.Brad Crowell 17:56  So anyway, we're talking about data, and I've now done this three days, three mornings in a row where I just like, okay, here we go. I actually put my hands down on the sides first, and then I just scoops and I'm in. And I noticed that it's easier to get in that way, because there's still like, I know how much I feel good after doing it. I know all that stuff, you know, but there's still that moment of hesitation, of like, do I really want to do this today? It's gonna be cold and then I just do it.Lesley Logan 18:21  Oh, yeah, I can't even, here's the thing, like, just idea of wasting a day with not using it is, like, just outside of who I am. Brad Crowell 18:25  Well, the other day I was, I don't remember, I was outside.Lesley Logan 18:32  Are you talking about unlearning and then, like? Brad Crowell 18:34  I was talking about data collection, like, yeah, that's how this somehow ties in with what. Lesley Logan 18:38  Okay, I'm just trying to bring it back. Brad Crowell 18:40  The data collection is that it took me this long to collect that data. We've been doing it every day for four months, and I finally just had this revelation now, you know, like yesterday, I was like, oh, okay, this is definitely a better way to do it. So, you know, sometimes it takes some time, but I think being analytical about that will also help you realize.Lesley Logan 19:02  Yeah, I'm in.Brad Crowell 19:03  Quote-unquote data. Love it all right. She said we have this big idea about authenticity, but we get paralyzed because we think we have to do it all at once. And I think it's a little, little out of context here, because we don't really have the rest of the conversation, but when we think about it's like, compare ourselves to other people who we think, oh, wow, they're so authentic, and they're authentic in all these amazing ways. And that is what can become overwhelming, because we're like, well, maybe I have to be just like them, being authentic in all of these ways that I, that I look up to that person and think that they're cool and awesome and whatever, and, you know, or inspirational and all that stuff. And I really, like, she kind of rattled off a whole list of these. What are they? Alliterations, alliterations. And she said there's two that specifically she mentioned, called the perfection pain, or the pioneer paralysis, which happens when people feel overwhelmed by these big ideas. And she had, like, a bunch more. There's a couple that (inaudible).Lesley Logan 19:10  Yes, they're all in her You Do You(ish) book and they're so good. You guys, I got an advanced copy, sort of, not physical. I got it like a secret. No, this is not it. This is her first book, Brad, no, that's You Do You(ish). Brad Crowell 19:57  That's what you said. Lesley Logan 19:59  Yeah. But I actually know this. Brad Crowell 20:02  The new one is called 50%, The 50% Rule. Lesley Logan 20:14  Yes and what you're quoting is from The 50% Rule. It's in the first chapter I think and I got to read, or at least the first part, and I got to read it while it was, like, going through. Anyways, I'm just bragging a little bit. It's so there's so many, and I was like, oh, because I like, I like those alliterations, because, just like, I like The Big Leap where I'm like, oh, I'm upper limiting myself right there I can go, oh, I'm pioneering paralysis right now. Like, I love it. Brad Crowell 20:39  They're really cool, really helpful. And I think it is, you know, high level. The idea is that we should take one step at a time, at a damn time, one step at a damn time. Because when you see someone who we look at and go, oh my gosh, that person is like, they're clearly genuinely being themselves. They didn't just start doing that all at once, one day at a time. They've been doing these things over many, many years. And so if we feel like I have to be authentic like them, first off, that's funny, ironic, but also too, it can be paralyzing. It can lead to that inaction of overwhelm, of like, the perfectionist, of like, you know what I mean. So I thought it was cool. You don't have to try to figure it out all at once, just one step at a time, so.Lesley Logan 21:23  Yeah. I can't wait to get the actual copy, the printed copy of the book. Brad Crowell 21:27  Well, show us this one more time. What are we looking (inaudible).Lesley Logan 21:29  This is You Do You(ish). Brad Crowell 21:30  You Do You(ish). Lesley Logan 21:31  And it is, Unleash Your Authentic Superpowers to Get the Career of your dreams. And I heard her speak a little bit about this, and I really like it. Anyways, I think sometimes we try to be so perfect, we're not even being ourselves. So if you're just like -ish yourself, like, probably I'm more authentic than you. And then The 50% Rule, we'll get into, I don't want to give it away, because it's in my Be It Action Items, so.Brad Crowell 21:51  Okay. All right, all right. Well, stick around for that tantalizing, Be It Action Item teaser. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 21:58  Okay. So finally, y'all know what time it is. It is time for those, be it action items. Say it with me, y'all. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Erin Hatzikostas? I'm gonna jump in first. She said, nothing you're gonna do is like anybody else. And y'all know how much we agree with this and love this. Lesley says it all the time. You're the only one that can do what you do the way that you do it. What Erin was talking about, she said, for those managing larger teams or complex projects, Erin introduced this idea of it's called an Innovation Framework, and it breaks down the 50% Rule. It is six steps. In your convo, she actually only mentioned one of those six, which is, you gotta go get the book. But she talked about intent. She said she believes it is the most powerful of the six. When trying to do something, strip away the how or the why, just think about the intention. Why are we doing this or the intent of doing this. Ask yourself, what are you really trying to achieve here? I thought this was cool. I think that it's going to make more sense to go with the other five parts as well. And of the six, I bet it is the most powerful. But I'm, I'm unaware of what the rest of them are just yet. But I think this is important, you know, why are we doing something? How are we doing something? We get stuck in those things. And I think, like, intent and why, kind of are parallel, so. Lesley Logan 23:16  Or -ish, but also, like, sometimes just the why you get stuck on that. So what's the intention? What's the like outcome that you desire to have? Then you could often ask yourself, why do I want to have that outcome? You know what I mean? Because maybe the why you do everything you do is to make sure no one's homeless, right? But what you're doing actually is providing a fundraiser, and you have all these things you're trying to get and all this stuff. And so it's like your intent of that fundraiser is to raise money, because your why is this? So I think I like intent, because it actually whittles it down, and you can kind of take away the pressure and just go, what the fuck am I doing here?Brad Crowell 23:57  What are we doing here people? What are we doing here people? And so I think this helps too with leading a team. I just really appreciated her talking about her celebrating with her team as they were achieving milestones in their goals, and when she finally did decide to step away, her team said we're gonna miss your authenticity. So that's pretty cool. Well, what about you? Lesley Logan 24:19  Well, she talked a little bit about The 50% Rule, which I think is important to talk about here, because it's really easy to consider, like, oh, maybe it means, like, doing 50% of something. And then there's the cynic who can go, well, that's just half-assing it. It's like, that's not it at all. She's like, anytime someone tells you about something new and something you can do in your life, whether it is a fitness coach or a business coach or a, like all these things, they'll go, here are the five things you gotta do to have X in your life. She is suggesting that you actually look at it and take only 50% of it and then curate the other 50%. For example, I've talked about this a couple of times on the pod. I really like Mindy Powell's idea of fasting. I know it's really helpful for people with gut issues. Now she's got a 30-day thing, especially if you're a female with a cycle, there's like, on this day you can fast 15 hours. On this day you could fast 13 hours. I'm like, it's complicated, okay, and unless I'm gonna print this fucking thing out. So what I did is I was just like, okay, what's my goal here? And what can I take from this information, and what am I going to add myself? And so what I could take from it is, like on every day of my cycle, I could fast for 13 hours. Doesn't matter where I'm at. So right now I'm doing 13 hours. And the other part of the thing that I saw of hers is, first two weeks my cycle heavy on the protein. Second two weeks, enjoy the carbs. And so I have taken 50% of her stuff and like, I can do this, and the other 50% I am curating and coming up with my own way so it fits with my lifestyle. And that is way better than if I had printed the thing out and was like, well, today I have to, I could go to 17, so I should go, like it make it just makes us not fun, and it doesn't bring our authenticity to it. Brad Crowell 26:02  Right. Yeah, I think it's great. I think also she started to see the 50% Rule everywhere she was talking about as she was writing the book, where she saw people who embraced the idea and then made a shift with whatever they had learned, and that actually made it more authentic to themselves anyway.Lesley Logan 26:21  Yeah. Because also, like, this is something like, when we coach people on too, they're like, well, you said X, Y and Z, and I said well, I said that. And I also said, take one step at a time and you are trying to take 20 steps and do it exactly right. Like, yep, it's gonna be different for everyone. There isn't. There's not a single business coach out there, fitness trainer, anything, who's gonna be like, this template will always work for you. Yeah. So if you can take the intention behind it and the goal and understand like the concepts, and then, how do you work? How do you operate? I'm someone who can get a little bit a little obsessed about things. So in order to not get obsessed, I was like, what's the bare minimum? Got it, you know, because, like, that's going to allow me to stay myself. Brad Crowell 27:06  Fifty-percented. Lesley Logan 27:07  Yeah, fifty-percented. So I just think it's a really, really great. I think it's really, it's a good way for the perfectionist to get out of the pain. I think it's one of the options.Brad Crowell 27:16  I think that's the thing too. This really fits with what we were talking about earlier, about trying to do all the things at once. You know, when you give yourself permission to not do 100% but to start at 50% it doesn't seem so overwhelming. Suddenly, you're not like in that what does she say? Paralysis, Lesley Logan 27:36  Pioneer paralysis. Brad Crowell 27:38  Yeah. Pioneer paralysis or that perfection pain, you're able to work your way through it.Lesley Logan 27:42  Yeah. So you guys, go get her fucking book. Brad Crowell 27:45  Yeah, do it.Lesley Logan 27:45  Go get The 50% Rule. It's on sale now. Brad Crowell 27:48  Then tell her that we sent you. DM her.Lesley Logan 27:50  Yes, and also, here's another thing you can do. You can DM her and say, I left you a review after I bought the book. Brad Crowell 27:57  Yeah, she was just so great. Lesley Logan 27:58  Because that is currency right there, and she's a cool chick, and we want this book to get out because it actually, I think it's helped a lot of people out there.Brad Crowell 28:06  Yeah, Erin Hatzikostas. Lesley Logan 28:08  Yes. So my loves, how are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag Erin. Tag The Be It Pod. Share this with a friend who needs to 50% you know, here and there, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 28:20  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 28:22  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 29:05  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 29:10  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 29:14  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 29:21  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 29:24  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if you could ditch perfectionism and still get results? Lesley Logan interviews Erin Hatzikostas, author of You Do You(ish) and The 50% Rule. Erin shares her powerful 50% Rule for simplifying decisions, cutting through the overwhelm, and staying authentic. Drawing on her experience as a former corporate CEO, Erin reveals how embracing imperfection can help you find a path that truly reflects your values and goals.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Erin's journey from corporate CEO to authenticity advocate.What the 50% Rule is and how it can simplify decision-making.How authenticity became Erin's secret weapon in the corporate world.Practical ways to experiment with authenticity and reflect on your resultsWhy perfectionism and comparison cramps can hold you back.Episode References/Links:Follow Erin on IG erinhatzikostasb Authentic inc on FB @bAuthenticIncErin Hatzikostas WebsiteErin's Hatzikostas Book, The 50% RuleErin's Hatzikostas Book, You Do You(ish)Erin Hatzikostas TEDxErin Hatzikostas Podcast, b Cause Work Doesn't Have to SuckGuest Bio:Erin Hatzikostas is a former Corporate CEO turned Professional Pot-Stirrer. Recently called “An up-and-coming Mel Robbins” by the Founder of The Keynote Shop, Erin Hatzikostas is an internationally-recognized leader on the impact of authenticity in the workplace. The CEO and founder of b Authentic inc, Erin is a global keynote speaker, the best-selling author of You Do You(ish), the co-host of the podcast, b Cause Work Doesn't Have to Suck, and coach-sultant. Her TEDx Talk was one of the Top 20 globally most viewed TEDx Talks released in 2021.Her talks have reached hundreds of thousands of people and her thought leadership has been featured on ABC, CBS and published in Business Insider, Fast Company, Well+Good, among several others. Her company also conducted a national study on the impact of authenticity in the workplace. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Erin Hatzikostas 0:00  You don't wake up tomorrow and go from being nervous about being authentic to being as authentic AF as me. You start with little experiments and you observe more than you normally would.Lesley Logan 0:13   Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:54  Be It babe, get ready to be inspired. I know you always are. I'm just gonna say, of course, the episodes are always great, but I have been looking forward to today's interview for a really long time. I watched this woman when she was on stage, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I could not and she was running around the stage, and like most keynote speakers, I always get something out of but like, it was like a cardio it was a show, it was an entertainment, it was all these things. And I learned so much from her, and I wrote her name down, like, I have to have her on the podcast. And then life got a little bit busy. Stuff was going crazy. I had a little bit of like, who might ask her? Like, and then about eight months later, this girlfriend, who I've had on the show, Jessica Papineau, was like, oh, you should know Erin. Like, oh, you know how to get in touch with Erin, because I absolutely I can awe of her, right? And so she put us in contact. We had a phone call that went for like an hour. We felt like it was like a friend that I've always known, but I just met, and two weeks later, we had dinner together, and sure book, The 50% Rule is coming out, and you must pre-order it or order it if it's already out by this comes out, but I'm telling you, it will be a mantra that you use, just like be it till you see it is. And I hope it is. I really, really hope it is. I really am in love with what she's doing, and I do think it's something that can actually help propel you out of stuckness or feeling like there's too much on your plate and you don't know how to take action. Like I really do think this is great. So here's Erin Hatzikostas and I am obsessed. So after this, please follow her, stalk her, get this book. Let us know what your favorite part is. I know Erin would love to hear that. And by the way, if you ever have something to say to any of our guests, I promise you you're not bothering them if you tell them. I promise you. And if you're too afraid to DM them, then comment it on the social posts and tag them. Or you don't have to tag them, because guess what? They're tagged on it and they will see it. So you have no idea when you leave a comment like that, when you share people, it lets people like Erin and myself and our other guests know, like, oh my gosh, they get it. The impact of my intent was there. So here's Erin. Lesley Logan 2:57  All right, Be It babe, this is going to be an amazing conversation. I know already because I've had amazing conversations with our guest today. Erin Hatzikostas is our guest. She is the author of You Do You(ish) and her upcoming book, The 50% Rule. And I'm gonna tell you, in honor of today's interview, I 50% ruled my makeup and getting ready today. It was like, today is not gonna be the day that we do it 100% so. And I was like, It's Erin, though, and she would be honored by me doing that. So Erin, tell everyone who you are and what you rock at.Erin Hatzikostas 3:26  So first of all, I have to make a comment, because so I did do my makeup. Sometimes I have big girl days. I did an, I did an interview before this too, but we had a mattress delivered this morning. After, like, 12 years, we're past our 10th year we got, finally got a new mattress. We did Safa, which is the online one. Anyway, we're super excited about it. So the guys brought it. They got it all up. They get down. Guys going to say goodbye, tipped him, and he looks at me and he goes, by the way, I like your makeups. It was like, first of all, it was random. Second of all, if you know me, first of all, I'm almost 50. I was not born and raised in the YouTube video. So, like, I do my makeup the same way I probably did it when I was freaking 16. It's like, totally junior league. And to have a guy like, have the guts to like, and I didn't take it as like a, anyway. So it's funny that you brought up makeup, just like, two hours ago, I had some random mattress delivery dudes on the way out say, I like your your makeup.Lesley Logan 4:26  You're having a great day. And I love it. It's a big girl day. You know what? I have big girl days. And then some days I'm like, we're just not even doing that today. We're just gonna not.Erin Hatzikostas 4:34  No. And then some of them, you know, when I'm like, looking scroungy and I might have to meet with a client or, sort of, you know, not a friend. Here's what I do. I like, oh, you're getting to see author friend. And they think it's so cool, because I'll have the headband, I'll have my glasses, and my hair is clearly, you know, dirty, but I brand it as like author Erin and I think they think it's like a little cooler, even though I haven't written shit in three months, since my last book has been (inaudible). That's another tip. Lesley Logan 5:01  You just gave everyone a tip. You guys just brand the other look like you're getting, you're getting like journal person. You're getting like artists. You're getting, I'm deep in thought.Erin Hatzikostas 5:12  Yeah, just freaking name it. Name it. You know, you know, in this world, naming it is (inaudible).Lesley Logan 5:17  Gardener Lesley. Brad would laugh. He's like Lesley, garden, no way. Okay, so thank you for all those tips already. But back to you. You're amazing. Who are you? Erin Hatzikostas 5:27  So it's funny. I will first tell you what my son calls me. So a couple years ago, he was out in the kitchen making a bagel. So it was just sort of a random moment, and he says to me, I think he was about 11, 10 or 11, and he says, Mommy, do you know what a perfectionist is? And I said, yeah, Mick, I do. He goes, you're an imperfectionist. So in honor of sort of a lot of the people that listen, who I know can get caught in the perfectionism, I am a professional imperfectionist, apparently based on my son. But you know, background, I am a former corporate CEO. I was an executive that somehow swindled my way into a CEO position of 1000-person company, had great, quote-unquote, what I thought was luck, turned it around, and always thought that I was going to be found out, though, even though I'm not like, it wasn't imposter syndrome, not like I'd gotten a memo on that, but I would look around and notice that a lot of my peers and colleagues were sacrificing a lot more than me, right? They were getting on planes more often. They were moving their families for things. They were giving up vacations. They were working nights and weekends. And, you know, I worked hard, but I wasn't doing that, and so I sort of had this super, super great turnaround to the company, but I thought, oh shit, my luck's gonna run out soon. And then I just, I decided it was time to retire. I technically could retire because I'd been there so long. I was only 42 years old, but it was technically a retirement. And I just was itching for something new. I thought I would go run maybe a smaller startup, healthcare, financial services company, because that's the place I was in, and when I went to leave, everybody kept saying, we're going to miss your authenticity. We're going to miss your authentic leadership. And I wasn't surprised they called me that, but it wasn't this thing that people were throwing that badge on me when we were running around in the rat race. And what I realized was that I wasn't actually getting lucky, or that I wasn't going to be found out. I was just playing a different game than everybody else, and I was actually, at the time, subconsciously using authenticity as my strategic advantage, my way to sort of compete in a league of my own, because most executives weren't dancing with their employees celebrating a big IT win. They weren't writing their own emails. They're letting their corporate comms people do it, like I, I didn't realize it until that moment that the things that really I had learned from my father, subconsciously also, were actually my strategic advantage. And so that's when I, I started blogging, writing blogs up in the the hockey bleachers at practice, like in a Word document, like, if I ever actually had something to say on a blog, whatever that is, this is what I would say. And one day, I looked down and I was like, holy shit, there are 53 pages, I have some stuff. I have some stuff to say. And one thing led to another. And that's when I finally realized that, oh my gosh, what helped me have success was also the same thing that helped me enjoy for the most part in my days, being in the corporate world, being an executive, being in a high-pressure thing, and I sort of had like this magic formula and a view of authenticity that everybody else wasn't seeing. I knew it wasn't simply be yourself. That's not the real definition. And so I thought, well, crap. I think I need to go out and talk about, teach this, and that's what I've been doing for five and a half years like a weirdo. Lesley Logan 8:50  That is the best weirdo. And also it's so interesting that you say, I remember your story of like being found out, like not get on these planes. I remember during this time that I was in corporate fitness. Everyone who was in management was like, they're there as soon as the club opened 'til when the club closed, sometimes, especially the last week of every month that I was sneaking off on a plane to go study in Colorado. And I was like, yeah, well, you can access reports online. There's this thing called this internet. And so I remember when someday they're gonna find out that I'm not there, you know, and but also, I was hitting all of these numbers and having amazing success, and I was teaching the people who were underneath me who had studios. I'm like, here's how you do it, here's how you plan your vacations, here's how you plan your life, here, here's how you would teach all these different things. And I was like, I'm gonna get found out one day, and one day it wasn't I was found out. They're just like, oh, you gotta run the reports this way, and you've got to do meetings like this. And I was like, that is not it. And if that's what you want, I'm retiring because, and it's like, I really felt like, you know, and it's this authenticity, it's just like, doesn't have to work. Everyone is doing this thing this way, but there's another way to do it and have fun and be yourself, but like, be yourself at work, you know? Erin Hatzikostas 10:01  Right. Right. I think, yeah, it was just actually on another I was interviewing somebody from my podcast before this, and we were talking about, okay, it's such a no-brainer, right, to be authentic, especially in the corporate workplace, better retention culture, but also externally, it's easier to sell. You know, you stand up and just like, I just don't understand why nobody does it. And what I told her, you know, I think it's helpful to diagnosis, because whenever you have a no-brain solution, and then you walk away, and then you're like, okay, I heard all that stuff. But why the fuck am I just not doing the things that I should? Why am I not changing? I think a big part of it is for so many years in school and college, we're taught that success is the answer is C, the answer is 72, the answer is, you know, here's the rubric, right? And we judge ourselves based on following that rubric, that box. And then we go to the corporate world, and nobody sits us down and says, what we care about most is results and how you get there, unlike what you've been doing for the last 20 years of your life, it really doesn't matter. And so we sort of go into this like, gotta look right, gotta get the rubric right, don't want to look stupid, there's one path that the teacher laid out, and it's totally not the case. That, you know, it screws us up. Lesley Logan 10:01  Yeah it does. It screws us up. It makes us, it almost makes us be pretending to be doing because we gotta make sure we check all the boxes. Erin Hatzikostas 11:28  Yeah, pretend, like you were checking the boxes. Like, oh, if I'm seen, I'm gonna get the rubric right. Like somebody who's judging me is responsible for telling me if I'm a good worker or not, is not going to give me the five points for staying till late on the end of the month. And it's like, wait, no, there isn't a rubric actually, there's just like, we want you to get results. Lesley Logan 11:51  Yeah, we get stuck on like, what people see versus what the results are. And I think that's because no one is really so like you said, you dance with the people like, no one's actually celebrating the results. They're so focused on being seen doing the steps, that when we get results, people are like, okay, next thing. Instead of going, hey, we got, these are the results we got. And like, how did we get there? And like, what worked and what didn't work, celebrating that result part, as opposed to focusing so much on the check marks that could maybe possibly not get you results.Erin Hatzikostas 12:21  I would say yes and no. I would say almost. I think that the results eventually get, quote-unquote, celebrated. Maybe there's not a party, but whether it's you're an entrepreneur and it's your client, or you're in the corporate world and it's your boss promoting you, those results get rewarded, maybe not celebrated, but rewarded. But we're so addicted to the short term it's like, for this hour, I want to look cool on this meeting. I want to look right. Not cool, it's probably the wrong word. I want to look right, right? And so we're addicted to, like, short-term results. And if we were just comfortable a little bit like, when I became interim CEO. I was interim first, because that's what us ladies sometimes get to do, you know, the trial period, make sure there isn't anybody better. That's a whole nother story. I know there was a solid month or two where my boss, who was very rant, rant, rant, was a woman probably thought I was nuts and was going to fail, like I was doing some crazy negotiations, etc. But there is that period where, yeah, you might not look like you're going to do right, or people might doubt you. And there were definitely tangible things that happened where I was like, she doubts me, I'm sure. But, Lesley, as soon as I started getting results. Now for me, because I was running a business that was very tangible, like, literally every month we had to do a monthly operating reviews where we went through the frickin financial like, that's right, it was very tangible. It's like, here are the financials, here's our forecast, here's our actuals. But as soon as she started to see that turn around as a leading indicator, and then later, probably started to see, oh, employees really like her, oh, her employee engagement score, she didn't give two hoots about, how I did it and if I did it different, and it's just having the courage in that interim period. And I mean that like small I, not like interim CEO, but in that short term period, to forego that instant gratification of feeling like people think you did it right, so that you can hold out for the bigger reward, and then you can, you know, celebrate it all you want. Lesley Logan 12:25  Okay, you answered the question I was gonna ask, because I was like, how do you do that, though? And you said, having the courage. And I think that's the, think that's the hardest part, like, where do you find your courage? How do you how do people, you know, is that gonna, is there an answer to that? Erin Hatzikostas 14:30  Yeah, it's data. It's data. And I don't mean data in the traditional sense. For me, and I didn't know this till I wrote my first book because sometimes we have to slow the frick down and then, you know, I'm 40, whatever I was, 40 years, 44 years old writing a book and I was like, oh, oh, crap, I didn't know that, for me, it started, I had a lot of data from my father. My father was a teacher for 20 some years, and he took an early retirement package, and then he became a real estate agent, and he was very, very authentic. And he would tell stories every night. He would come home, and instead of bitching and moaning about this person or this student, most of the stories I heard, or at least remember are about how he got the attention of his students differently. He did some wacky game, and it even translated as he went into real estate, which I was just coming out of college when he was making that transition. So I was starting, and I would watch his success in real estate, and he would tell stories about, oh, I met with this client, and I didn't bullshit them about the, you know, the price of their home. I told them, you know, it was like, all these, like, where he was. You could tell he was just doing a little different, because it was easy to know what the normal box was for a real estate agent. And so to me, I got a jump start on data. So I saw again, very subconsciously, oh, when he does this, he has success. And so as I went in to the workplace, I started doing experiments, I call them, it all, I would do a little thing and I would notice, oh, people all of a sudden pay attention on this meeting when normally they're like, on their blackberries back in the day or whatever it is. And so I think for people, you don't wake up tomorrow and go from being nervous about being authentic to being as authentic AF as me. You start with little experiments, and you observe more than you normally would. So you might write an email that's got a little like, the workplace is so easy, the bar is so low, so it's just like, maybe you change a word instead of saying, our results weren't that great. You could say our results were really poopy, you know, or just like, one little word, just like talking a little more flippant, talking a little more human. Actually, my number one thing I have people first experiment, change your out of office. Make it, doesn't even have to be funny, just make it like human. Tell people what you're doing. I'm going to a softball tournament this weekend. I'm taking a three-day weekend. Or, you know, a lot of people make them a lot more fun, and then observe what happens. And I guarantee you people are gonna, oh my gosh, I love those days when we used to go to tournaments. My kids are older now or oh, that's so amazing that you did a trip to Ireland. We went there, back and blah, blah, blah. I love your out of office. So it really is about taking little experiments. That's why I love what I do. Like, I'm not a motivational speaker. I'm a get shit done better speaker. My books aren't about like, first of all, they don't tell you to be yourself, because that's not how I talk about authenticity, but they're really very tangible, because you have to, you have to unlearn and you have to do tangible experiments to start collecting that quote-unquote data. And then once you, you know, once somebody smiles or responds when they normally don't or a client you sell something, or people notice your website that normally they've never said anything about. You're just gonna, you're gonna change your pattern. You're gonna be like, maybe I should do more of that. Lesley Logan 17:32  Yeah, I really, I love that you go on little experiments and reflect and observe, because that is what life is always kind of about, whether it's work or, like, for, you know, I have to do things on social media. And, trust me, I wish I could just, I'm like, when do I don't have to, like, you know? But I, like, recently did a little experiment because my friends are like, you should do this. And I was like, okay, I'm just gonna do, just gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take what you said. I'm gonna do it as easily as possible, because I don't, if it slays and I had to spend two hours, I'm not doing that again, so it has to be so easy. And I did it as and I was like, I was like, Erin's gonna be so proud, because I am 50 percenting all of this. I'm just like, I'm not even careful. I'm just going to do this. And it is one of the best posts we've ever did. So it's a little experiment. And I was like, great. So if I can get that result, not stressing about it, let's we can repeat that experiment and see what happens, and we can kind of see tweak things here and there, but it's got to stay, got to stay, it's got to stay something I can do. That's got to be possible. But I think little experiments with observations are so great because observation is not the same as waiting for feedback. They're waiting for the external feedback, versus with their own meter of what how things are working. Erin Hatzikostas 18:35  Oh, yeah, totally. They're waiting for that party that will never come, that Bar Mitzvah or that surprise party never comes, you got to look inside. Lesley Logan 18:47  Okay, so you wrote a second book. And I'm wondering, like, did you always know you had a second book in you? Because you have You Do You(ish). You guys have to know. When I met Erin, she was speaking at She Who Wins and I feel like you did a talk on like it was either the 50% Rule like thing, but I feel like it's a You Do You(ish) and I was like, I am eating this up. I love all of this. This is so great for the recovering perfectionist that is me. So did you know you had a second book in you, or did it kind of just come about as you were talking about your first one?Erin Hatzikostas 19:15  No, I mean, I did. When I wrote my first book, I was surprised at how much I, I didn't love, I don't have love for writing, but I wasn't a bad writer, I guess. You know, I was a math major on college like writing was not my thing, but I sort of had this epiphany early on in the process, that writing is just talking on paper, and so that's very much my book. Some people always say I can hear you, and I'm like, yeah, because I just talk on paper. I don't overthink it. I say the words like they come out of my mouth. But for both of my books, actually, I really did not get down to writing them until it felt like a gremlin that was trying to crawl out of my stomach. And what I mean by that, even my first book, I remember, had a coach at the time. And I was only about a year into my business and I was like, Elizabeth, I want to do this book. I don't know what it's called, but here's what it's going to be about. And she's like, Erin, you have a lot on your plate. I don't know if you should, you know, be doing that. And I'm like, okay, I'll listen to that. And then I just couldn't stop thinking about it. And then actually, Covid hit. So it was like, no more hockey practices, no more like, why not sit around and write? With the 50% Rule, what happened was it was really an organic, just to kind of tell the story how it came about, so here I was, like, this badass speaking about authenticity on stages, wrote a book, did a TED talk, and meanwhile, I was an entrepreneur, trying to learn how the frick to be an entrepreneur. And I was soaking in all the courses and all the playbooks. And I was part of this group, Brand Builders group, which, literally, will tell you everything you need to do. And I was sitting in Nashville at a two-day session. And I should have been elated, because they have two straight days of training and an 87-page PowerPoint, like, I don't remember which one this was on, but like, how to do X, and instead, I felt totally overwhelmed, uninspired, felt lazy, I didn't want to do it. And I remember though thinking all of a sudden, like, well, what if you just 50% Rule it? And that doesn't mean half ass it. What it meant was, what if you throw out half of the stuff that they're teaching that just doesn't feel like you, feel stupid, maybe feels outdated, you're like, I don't know if that will really resonate with people. But then you bring in your own ideas. You know, you're very creative. You understand the intent, what you're trying to do. What if you bring in your own which I write about in the book. Part of that is the self-determination theory, which absolutely says that people are way more propelled if we have sort of autonomy, or say in whatt we do. So I just remember how quickly that snapped me out of it. So then as I was going along for the next year, same thing would happen. But it wasn't like, right away. It was like, I'd go through something, I'd get all hung up, and then I was like, don't mess, 50% Rule it, right? And then people, whether it was coaching, clients, friends, whatever, it just seemed like, came up all the time. They would be like, oh, I'm struggling with blah, blah, blah. And I would be like, why don't you just 50% Rule it? And they were like, tell me more.Erin Hatzikostas 22:07  And I would say 50% rule basically, anytime you're doing something new, you're learning from others, listening to a podcast, starting a new product or business, only do about half of what's normal, or what people are telling you to do and then save room for half, what's new and curate that and I just, so then, data, I started to observe people lighting up, coming up with ideas, like, just back to the very beginning, branding, like just part of it is, you know, just putting a name to something and then, but that was not enough to write a book. So I still wasn't like, oh, this is the book. But then what happened is I started kind of seeing it everywhere, meaning I would watch a documentary, or I went, so I, for the first time, I was a little late to the game, but I finally saw Hamilton last year, and I was sitting there. Lesley Logan 22:51  I still haven't finished it. I know, I know it was only HBO or whatever we watched. Erin Hatzikostas 22:56  No, no, no, no. Don't see that.Lesley Logan 22:57  I know. You guys, you have to get there. We have to get to the play in person. I'm hoping it, maybe, it'll come through Vegas. I mean, everything does right, so. Erin Hatzikostas 23:02  How does it not come (inaudible). You have to see it. It's life changing. So, I was like, wait, his success isn't just because he put together a really freaking good musical. He 50% ruled it, right? He's got half, sort of the normal Broadway formula, but half is just totally juxtaposed, right? With the the rap and the people of color playing white dudes from 300 years ago, etc. So I started to see it there. I saw it with John Madden in the documentary. I saw it with the savannah bananas, Whitney Houston, like I just kept seeing all these examples. And what hit me was that the 50% rule isn't just sort of the step ladder to get over your sort of little mini hurdles and moments that it is actually a formula that helps you really, what I say is go from underdog to unmatched. It helps people like Weird Al is a crappy singer. His voice is not good. Lesley Logan 23:56  Yeah, it's pretty bad. Erin Hatzikostas 23:57  He's a phenomenon, like he sold more, some of those songs that he parodied sold more than the actual original, super famous artists, right? All because he 50% ruled it. And so anytime you're trying, you're behind, you're smaller, you're I mean, anytime you do anything, but if you don't want to just work harder, which is just something I don't ever want to do, I don't want to win by being the hardest worker or the best I want to win by standing out and being unique and doing something that's fresh and new and that people want. And so when I finally saw that, I was like, okay, this is, this is a book. This is a gremlin that, and you know, my phone notes when they started being, you know, a mile long. That's when I started the process of, okay, this needs to be book number two.Lesley Logan 24:45  That's so cool. Thank you for sharing that. And also it's like, as you were sharing, like, all these different examples, of course, as a recipe, for a reason, but then really the things that make even your grandmother's lasagna stand out is because it's not the same lasagna recipe that everyone else is using. Grandma took the basics of it and was like, yeah, but I want to add this cheese instead, or I want to add this meat, or I want to put it this many layers like that is what makes things different, and that indifferent is what stands out. I mean, there's singers every single day trying to make it, and they're doing the exact same thing that other people have done, and it doesn't stand out because we already heard that one already.Erin Hatzikostas 25:24  That's exactly right. I love it. Lesley Logan 25:26  So okay, your 50% Rule book as, by the time that this comes out, it will be on shelves or close to it. You guys, we're going to try to time it. But what are you hoping people do with this book?Erin Hatzikostas 25:38  Yeah, I mean, so I'm obsessed with it, to be honest. And I'm, I'm obsessed first and foremost, with the rule, like, when you start, there's, there's something so beautiful. My team does this. I have a book sort of board that's been meeting for a year and a half. There's a total of like 70 people that volunteered to help, sort of collaborate and guide this book. There's about 25-30 that have been meeting and others have been supporting a whole, you know, a little bit further away. And when you start to hear people constantly like, Well, why don't you 50% rule it, even me as the 50% ruler of all rulers who like, forget like, it just, there's like this in your brain. It's kind of like some of these books where I want people to read it, because I think it's super fun. I. Lesley Logan 26:22  It's so funny. youAnd you do sound like you're talking to me and like, you guys don't even have to know her voice as well as I know it. It does sound like a friend is telling you amazing advice. Erin Hatzikostas 26:30  Yeah and it's like amazing advice smacking you upside the head sometimes crazy metaphor, like, because I'm not a disciplined person, I don't want to give people a book that they read because they should, because it's got noble advice in that. I get, I want to give you a book that you're like, just like a fiction book where you're like, I want to read to the end because I'm enjoying it, so that I'm excited about but even if the book's like The One Thing and stuff like that, I gotta be honest, I never read that book, but the concept, I get it. So if there's a whole bunch of people too that are like, oh, my friend told me about the concept or whatever, and you don't read the book, whatever, that would be totally off-brand. If I said, No, you have to read the book. It's like, no, do it your own way. So I just, I really hope that I create sort of this vernacular that has people sort of switch their brain into a different mode on a regular basis and collectively, when you could start doing that, and I'll understand what you're talking about, that's like the real power. Lesley Logan 27:23  I agree. And I also think it is, instead of like a snap out of it, or just do it, or just get started. You know what I mean? Like, there's a bit of advice in the same tone when you say 50% rule it, it's like an action step with also permission to not have to do it exactly like, check all the boxes. Going back to what we talked about in the corporate world, it is really just like, okay, what if I like these three steps, and what if I start there and I do this because that's what I have access to, and I like, as someone who's had started many companies and done many things, people are like, how did you do that? And I'm like, I just did what I knew I could do, and then kind of had to go, okay, well, what's my version of that? Like, how is, you know, and so it's also putting a name to something that people might already be doing, and thinking, maybe I'm cheating. And instead of it's like, no, you're not cheating, and you're not being lazy, you're actually doing it your way, with some advice that from the people before you,Erin Hatzikostas 28:16  That's right, you're innovating. And I even say in the book, like, look it's like three quarters of the way, and I'm like, timeout. I just want to be clear, this is not something new. And people say to me all the time, oh, yeah, I love that concept. Like, when they say, oh, you're writing book. What's it about? Oh, I do that all the time, and I say, you do and you don't. And what I'd say is, look, I don't want to pretend like I created something totally new. It's sort of like if you went out into a field and you're like, I found the first coccyx bone ever of a dinosaur. And people are like, no, it's actually called a tailbone. And other people have found that it's like, oh, well, I call it a coccyx bone because whatever. But you actually know what a coccyx is, some people dont.Lesley Logan 28:30  I do.Erin Hatzikostas 28:31  Because you do Pilates. But the reason I wrote a book, I always say, not a cute little meme and stop there, is that even while I was writing this book, Lesley, I had instances in my life where I was doing shit, and then I finally was like, oh, wait, why don't you 50% rule it like a perfect example. I was dealing with my back, as you know, I talked about, like my back woes, which my back is doing fabulous.Lesley Logan 28:31  Yay!Erin Hatzikostas 28:31  Yay. But had some major issues, and I was ping-ponging. And one of the chapters is Binary Be Bad. It's like this whole lesson of like, we just sometimes we think it's one or another thing, and we don't look at the middle. And I was ping ponging like a cat, watching a match between my chiropractor and my physical therapist, back and forth, back and forth, and didn't say, okay, why don't I 50% rule it, which means curate what works from both like, I would be like, oh, the PT really gets it. She fixed me. And then when she asked me up, I was like, oh, wait, no, the chiropractor's right. And so my point is, I think a lot of people say think they do it, and there's so many opportunities where they're missing the bow. And so that's what I think any book that's the present that it gives you. If you read the whole thing, then it's like cemented in you, right? You will, you will get to that solution faster than if you don't, right? And so the more repetition, the more you read, the more stories, the more you like. There's different lessons, there's 60 some different quotes. The more those are ingrained in you, then it's more likely that you'll suffer for a less amount of time before you head to that solution. Lesley Logan 30:22  I agree. Like, I think a meme is great. And also, like, okay, you're all hearing it here, but there was before the pandemic, you had to see something 17 to 26 times to, like, click on it. And so, like, reading the book and hearing it over and over again, it makes it part of your vernacular in a way that it's sticky and it stays with you in a bit, a bit more. So I think that, I think it's really cool. I'm so excited for it to be out in people's hands, as I know our listeners are going to absolutely love it. They're gonna because being it till you see it, it's so easy for that to be a perfectionist saying, and it's like, what if you just 50% that? Like, what does that mean to you in this moment and in this day, and just acting as if you already know what you're supposed to do. Erin Hatzikostas 31:03  That's totally right. I just had an example of this, because I know you were saying, like, part of your message is, just take baby steps. And I feel like this is such a good example of it. So about three or four years ago, I was like, oh, because we always have ideas when we're entrepreneurs. And I was like, I want to create an authenticity index for companies so kind of like, there's diversity index right, where you can say, okay, I either want to do business with them, I might want to work for this company. Where are they on their diversity? But where are they in their authenticity? Where is their their culture, right? And, and then I was like, oh, well, all these other indexes they work with, like Forbes, or they have some major like institution behind them, and like, how do they get the clout? And, and I could have been like, yeah, that's just, that's just too much work. And instead what we did, and I, you know, I have a great team, and we just started bouncing things off. And I thought, well, what would a baby step be? And we're like, what if we first create national authenticity day? Because you can create days, right? So we did. It's August 16. We created it four years ago, in 2021 three years ago, and created, you know, the website, a mission file there, whatever. And then we said, well, what if we just do authenticity awards, where it's, it's just us, we're, you know, same sort of concept, which is rewarding, highlighting, incentivizing leaders and companies to be more authentic, and we just do awards. And I will tell you, for the first couple years of those awards, Lesley, well, the first year, we were like, we got down to the deadline. We're like, shit, Rachel, who do you want to nominate? I was like, I'll nominate, like, I think we had like, two submissions, and we had to do the nominating. And then the next year we had a little bit more. And then the next this year, we're like, we probably should have some judges instead of basically me being, you know, and so we just took a baby step, and I and as soon as my team suggested, I was like, oh, I know the five leaders, I'm going to ask it just, you know, quickly came to mind. They're super authentic. They're in these great executive roles. And so that's what we're doing this year, and now, and and my team is pushing me for more posts and stuff. And so now we have more nominations that we've ever had, plus we have the judges who are advocates. And I always talk about it, I think the thing I love about it most is it's like, we're at step four of probably a hundred, but I am talking, I've got a friend at Yale. She's like, oh, maybe we could connect you with this person. Like, eventually, maybe we'll have a collaborator, whether it's a Yale or a fortune or whoever. Yeah, but we're just, every year, we're just like, What can we do just a tiny bit better? And that's all it's about. Lesley Logan 33:47  Thank you for sharing that. Because I do. I know a lot of people listening have these amazing ideas, and then they get overwhelmed by the steps around that amazing idea and not like anything you're seeing that caused you to have that amazing idea, you're like, oh, I want to do it like this. They, they actually did start five years prior, doing like a thing. We just don't see that part because it's like, it's the, you know, most people don't see, like, when Adele came on the scene, we didn't see the seven teen years she spent singing in a bar like, you know what I mean, like Lady Gaga was Stephanie for a long time, everyone, and no one knew who she was, like, you know? So we don't see that, and we just see, oh, they did this and they came out, and it's like, it's like, Yeah, but there's those baby steps. And when you take those baby steps, you get more feedback, and you get more confidence, and I think you get more ideas that make the original idea better. You know, we just need to have those patience. Erin Hatzikostas 34:39  Totally and that's why, in the book, I have a whole chapter dedicated to sleep running syndrome. And you know, most people are like, I don't have sleep running syndrome, and I break it down. I'm like, you probably do. And one of the, you know, there's a couple, there's six symptoms, but one of them is comparison cramps. And you know, one of the comparison cramps. Lesley Logan 34:56  Oh my gosh, this is my favorite part of the book so far. Like this, I was like, oh, yeah, I have had comparison cramps, those suck. Erin Hatzikostas 35:02  Those suck, right? And that's like, and part of it is you don't normalize your data, so you compare your singing career to Lady Gaga's, who started 20 years before yours. And then perfection pain is one of the symptoms, too, and pioneer paralysis, which I think is what you're talking about. We have the ideas about how we can like we have the big idea about the authenticity and but we get paralyzed because we think we have to do it all at once. We have to do it like everybody else. And so in the chapter, we end up thinking we should just stay in Kansas like Dorothy does in the Wizard of Oz, and we don't have to. And that's what the 50% rule can help you get out of. Lesley Logan 35:37  Oh my gosh, you guys, you have to wait for this book. We're gonna take a brief break. I keep talking forever, but that's just because I love you. We're gonna find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 35:37  All right, Erin, where can we buy this book? Where can people like stalk you in the best way and be reminded of the 50% tip. What do you got for us? Erin Hatzikostas 35:53  Yeah, so the book you can go to anywhere you buy books. But there's also the50percentrule.com, it's spelled out. You can learn a little bit more. There's some freebies. There's we just shot and finished up a really fun video, quirky video around it. You know, that kind that will give you the vibe of the book. So, the50percentrule.com. Once you're done, soaking in all that is wonderful, Be It Till You See It. If you're a podcast listener, which you obviously are, we also have a podcast you can go to b cause work doesn't have to suck. It's just the letter B and then cause work doesn't have to suck, because we're weirdos, um, and then I'm kind of a nerd. I mostly interact on LinkedIn, although I'm on Instagram as well. So.Lesley Logan 36:34  Your Instagram makes me laugh, like you could be a comedian. Because (inaudible).Erin Hatzikostas 36:38  So I just did once a day, I did a, I did a quick reel about the, we were talking about this offline, about me spilling my freaking chocolate protein shake everywhere. Please go watch it and tell me if you actually get it, because I thought it was pretty freaking funny, but it's very subtle. No, I'm terrible at Instagram, but I'm really cool on LinkedIn, because most people aren't cool, so that's why I'm there. I'm like, oh, it's easier to be cool. So either one of those. Lesley Logan 37:00  Okay, but I just have to shout, like, months ago, you did one of those walking videos, which I've never figured out how to do, and you're like, I'm trying to film this thing where I'm walking and I write something inspirational on the screen that's too small for most people to read. And then you just like, were like, so I'm just gonna walk, and I'm gonna put this thing that's like, make it like your font larger?Erin Hatzikostas 37:20  Yes, yeah, that was, that's a big trend. I think it's still kind of there, like, (inaudible) walking or putting on my makeup, doing something, but the freaking text, I'm like, dude, if you're over 45 nobody's reading your shit. I can't read it. I can't read a freaking thing you just said. So yeah, thank you for thank you for getting it. The one today about my spilled protein shake, you'll have to let me know if you get it, because I think it's kind of subtle. But it's, it's actually, there's a joke in there. Lesley Logan 37:45  I think we have similar humor, so I will, but I like that humor. It's like, yeah, what am, what are we all doing here? What's happening? Okay, before I let you go, Bold, Executable, Intrinsic, Targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it.Erin Hatzikostas 37:58  I love it. So I think the first thing is you have to understand that nothing you're going to do is like anybody else, right? So the 50% Rule, I break it down so you could just think it and do it. But I also have this innovation framework for like companies who are like, no, I have to wrangle like 32 people to use a 50% rule. I need some steps. And the first step, and it's called the innovation framework. There's six I steps, and the first one is intent, and I think it's the most powerful. So when you're trying to do something, strip away the how, strip away the what. And just think about intent. What are you trying to do? So social media, it's so easy to be like, I gotta do this thing. It's like, well, what are you trying to do? You're trying to build trust. You're trying to grab attention. And when you really think about the intent, it helps you shed the layers of the normal formula that you don't need. Because you're like, that's great. But I can get to the intent a different way. So it's almost like the intent is the underwear skivvies of what you're trying to do, right? It's like, okay, now that I can see the underwear skivvies, I can figure out the best way to dress that up. So yeah, I would say, pause and really think, what am I trying to do? Like, so often, like the authenticity index. I could be like, oh, we want it to be like the diversity. What's the intent? The intent is to make it A. easier for people to decide if they want to work for that company or do business. But B. the intent is to incentivize. It's a little bit of a stick, because if there's an index, then people will, you know, I want to, I want to coerce people to start being more authentic. So if my intent is to coerce them, what's the first things? What? What else can I do on the path there to coerce them, incentivize them, beat them on a, with a stick, to be more authentic? So understand the intent and then just experiment the shit out of it. Lesley Logan 39:54  I love that because there are multiple ways to often get to the thing you're wanting. And if you strip the how and the what, and you just get to intent, you can almost brainstorm all the different ways you can do that. Erin, I love you. You're so great. I learned so much today.Erin Hatzikostas 40:14  I love you too. I mean, I'm sure your listeners know that, but this chick is such a kind and generous like, I was out in Vegas. It's funny, when we met, you're like, if you're ever out in Vegas, and I was like, I'm gonna be there in two weeks for a talk. And you, like, arranged dinner. You like, came out. She had the busiest freaking week. I was exhausted just hearing she had, like, a retreat going on, andLesley Logan 40:35  There were two retreats in one week.Erin Hatzikostas 40:38  And the one night, like, she didn't have it. She had people out on their own. She came in and came into this, you know, strip, and had dinner with me. And I'm just forever grateful. Lesley Logan 40:47  Oh, it meant the world to me. So thank you for letting me have dinner also, like I let the restaurant entertain you, really, that's (inaudible). Erin Hatzikostas 40:55  I broke out those videos the other day. I'm like, look at the bunny with the butt dancing in my face.Lesley Logan 41:00  You guys, you have to go to Superfriko. They don't sponsor the show, but they have a bunny with a BBL. That'll just, really, the best way to describe what's happening in Vegas. It's so Vegas. Erin, thank you so much for being you. Thank you for your amazing book. You guys, let Erin know if you got the book, what your takeaways were. Share this episode with a friend who happens to be getting in their own way. Because here's the coolest thing, if your friends around you start to do a 50% rule, it makes it easier for you to do a 50% rule, and it actually makes it life more fun, because your friends are not trying to be perfect all the time, and they're actually being their unique selves, taking action on their intent. So thank you, Erin. Everyone, share this podcast with a friend and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 41:00  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 42:26  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 42:31  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 42:35  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 42:43  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 42:46  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In episode #211, we talked about the information you need to gather to prepare to file for divorce and the initial proceedings. But what financial steps do you need to take during a divorce? How do you figure out what life will look like on the other side? How does splitting your assets actually work? Renée C. Bauer—an experienced family law attorney and mediator—joins me in this conversation to help flesh out the details.  Renée has been practicing law since 2003. She's also the author of two books, “Divorce in Connecticut,” and “She Who Wins” and the host of the “Happy Even After” podcast.  You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... [2:16] You've filed for divorce—now what? [5:28] Creatively diving into each person's goals [10:41] Handling the sale of a house you co-own [12:52] How to separate a co-owned business [15:54] The Fair and Equitable Division of Assets [17:41] What happens if no agreement is reached? [20:27] Where retirement assets land in the process [23:24] Why a 50/50 split is the starting point  [27:47] Unraveling emotional attachments [30:00] Taking control of your finances Resources Mentioned Retirement Readiness Review Subscribe to the Retire with Ryan YouTube Channel Episode #211: Financial Steps to Take Before Divorce Happy Even After Family Law The Happy Even After” podcast Qualified Domestic Relations Order Connect with Renée on Instagram Connect With Morrissey Wealth Management  www.MorrisseyWealthManagement.com/contact   Subscribe to Retire With Ryan

Whitney Lee is a marketing and PR strategy expert, the founder of True Story Public Relations - a 7-figure, award-winning agency, helping companies in the hospitality, products, and service industries thrive. Her superpower is her ability to help frustrated business owners who've tried it all, cut through all the noise and develop a custom strategy that actually moves the needle.    With a master's degree in integrated marketing communications from Florida State University, an Accreditation in Public Relations (APR), and a Certification as a Public Relations Counselor (CPRC), Whitney has grown her PR agency from the small beach town of Destin, Florida, to the international agency it is today. She was named Scarlett Magazine's "Woman of the Year" in PR, one of the "Five Most Dynamic Women Leaders Ruling the PR Industry" in the CIO Times and one of United Way's 40 under 40. Her insights are regularly featured in well-known media outlets like 850 Business Magazine, Emerald Coast Magazine, and the She Who Wins podcast with Renee Bauer to name a few.     Whitney is also a keynote speaker and the host of True Story: The PR Podcast where she shares tangible ways to market your business and simple strategies to connect with your ideal customers through social media, email marketing, and so much more.  #spaghettionthewall #podcast #leducentertainment

As a divorce attorney, today's guest Renee Bauer, has seen high achieving women sacrifice themselves in order to fulfill the role of good wife/boss/employee/mom/daughter. Today she is going to help us get clear on what they want, drop their excuses, and roll into action. So, let's chat about how divorcing your inner good girl is the only way to get the life you want. Key Takeaways How childhood expectations can affect a lifetime of decision making Getting clear on what you want, not what others expect of you Learn to listen to your intuition! Determining which tasks you must complete on your own, and what you can let go of Ready to kick your inner good girl to the curb, and honor the woman inside that is dying for her wants and needs to be acknowledged? Tune in on your favorite listening app, on the website, or watch it on YouTube! Links & Mentioned Resources Renee's FREE Fierce Affirmation E-deck About Renee Bauer Renee has been a divorce attorney for 20 years. She is the Founder and Managing Attorney of Happy Even After Family Law located in Connecticut.  Additionally, Renee Bauer is a speaker and author of 4 books – Divorce in Connecticut, The Ultimate Guide to Solo and Small Firm Success, SHE WHO WINS, and the children's book Percy's Imperfectly Perfect Family.  She hosts the annual She Who Wins Summit, a live event created to inspire, motivate and challenge women to move forward bravely in their personal and business lives. Her impact has been recognized by Success Magazine where she was nominated as a Woman of Influence and with awards such as Litigator of the Year, Women-Owned Business of the Year, and New Leaders in the Law. She has been featured in multiple media outlets such as the International Business Times, Comment Central, AP News, NBC, FOX, and iHeart Radio. Connect with Renee LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/rbauer1/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/ Website: msreneebauer.com/ Email: renee@msreneebauer.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kim and Maddie sit down with Renee Bauer, author of She Who Wins and owner of Happy Even After Family Law. They talk about leadership, strength and what it takes to ditch your inner 'good girl.'

Explore the dynamic world of setting rates and seizing opportunities in this insightful episode with Lesley and guest, Monica Linda. Monica, a seasoned photographer, delves into her journey of overcoming self-doubt, learning to value her work appropriately, and navigating the unique challenges faced by women in the industry. This episode is a deep dive into the art of pricing, the importance of self-belief, and the power of seizing opportunities in the creative field.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Discover how self-worth influences business pricing strategies.Learn about the gender gap in professional rate setting and how to overcome it.Understand the psychology of pricing and its impact on client perception.Explore how societal norms shape women's business confidence.Gain insights on the power of networking and being in influential spaces.Hear how embracing opportunities can lead to personal and professional growth.Episode References/Links:Girl Squad Media InstagramGirl Squad Media WebsiteGirl Squad Media FacebookGuest Bio:Monica Linda, founder of Girl Squad Media, is a content creative director to entrepreneurs who are scaling the businesses they love. She uses personal branding photography & videography to bring back the pretty, reignite the joy, and put you back on center stage! Monica has photographed over 800 women, including The Queen B herself, Beyonce. Her obsession with excellence and storytelling has attracted brands like the NFL and Live Nation, while she has also covered events for the Tournament of Roses & Rose Bowl, and entrepreneurs such as Amy Porterfield, Chris & Lori Harder, Lindsey Schwartz, and more. The Girl Squad Media team is in high demand for media coverage and activations at some of the most popular events and concerts. Monica's love of photography borders on obsession, and you'll never see this down-home Texas girl shy away from a challenge. Her ambition, collaboration, and legacy drive her to be better than the day before. For Monica, becoming a media mogul who elevates women entrepreneurs is more than a passion, it is her destiny, and she hopes she'll be able to share her passion with you as you build your own media content.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. Get your free Athletic Greens 1 year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free travel packs Get your discount for some Toe Sox using the code: LESLEY Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know withall the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesFollow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Monica Linda 0:00  Like I heard that quote from I think it was Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey says when there's an opportunity and it presents itself to you, I do not want you to think about what's on the other side of the door. What I want you to do is walk through the door. Just walk through the door because the universe, all the things on the other side, if they open the door for you are going to take care of you.Lesley Logan 0:25  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:06  Hey, Be It babe. I am so freakin' stoked for this incredible interview that's about to come up. We talk a lot of things about women, charging are worth, stepping into the rooms. It is going to be an inspirational conversation. I hope you yell and shout out and clap along with the interview the whole time and make sure that you tell us exactly what your favorite parts were. Because my guest today, Monica Linda of Girl Squad Media and I want to hear that from you. It's going to make us dance for you. And we also want to hear about the well I'm not going to spoil the whole thing when you get to the end, when you do the Be It Action Item. We're gonna want to know where you went. All right loves, here is Monica Linda. Lesley Logan 1:44  Welcome back, Be It babes. I am, I can't even wait, she's already laughing. I can't even wait you guys. I have an in-house guest. I think I'm going to start doing this more often. I'm gonna be really honest. It's so much more fun. We just wrapped an incredible photoshoot. I wrote 10 on my stories. I don't know maybe it's 15. Maybe it's 100. It's unclear. I'm so grateful for this one to be in my life. The last time you heard her was on episode number nine, (inaudible). And we got to hear how she was really being it till she saw it as a photographer. And now years later, well, two years later from the podcast, but also, we've known each other since 2019. And just really seen what you have done with your business. I have to bring you back and I want today's podcast, Monica Linda of Girl Squad Media to be I want it to be conversation but I can't wait for us to talk about women in business and women's service businesses because as we know, we set around rates and that's not always liked by people. So Monica Linda, in case anyone hasn't heard episode nine. Tell everyone who you are and what you slay at.Monica Linda 2:53  Monica Linda, I'm from Girl Squad Media. I'm the founder. And we work with women to help them generate images that increase their revenue. Lesley Logan 3:02  Yeah. And they do. Monica Linda 3:05  And they do. And they do. Every time.Lesley Logan 3:07  And sometimes I just take photos for my 40th birthday invitations.Monica Linda 3:13  Because I'm obsessed with Lesley Logan style.Lesley Logan 3:16  I'm obsessed with Monica Linda's amazing talent. Okay, so, um, you how long you've been a photographer? And can we talk a little about the journey because when I met you you are a rising star. You're a fucking star now I mean, like phenomenal. I mean, Ed Mylett, Candy Valentino, Lesley Logan, Lori and Chris Harder. You we can name-drop some more and the fucking NFL. Yeah. But like, when we met you were still doing only branding photography, not video content. At the time, reels weren't a thing, guys. And you were in a business coaching group with me and you are working towards things. What has the journey been like since 2019 to today? Like how did like what's the tell us a little bit about that as a whole mental process and a lot of changes to your business. So how did it go?Monica Linda 4:07  It has been it has been crazy. It has been up down. But still on time and on path. Like I hadLesley Logan 4:15  Don't you hate when it's like on time because it wasn't on? Yeah, we look back and go that was the right timing. Like in the time you're like what is going on? Monica Linda 4:23  What is going on? I had no idea but it just seems like it's so right on time. I even had that moment last night where I thought to myself, it is awesome to feel steel because I check in with myself all the time. As our client rosters get bigger as we sign bigger contracts with people that literally I would never dream of working with as that continues to happen. I continue to ask myself, Am I still on the right path and it still feels it still feels good? So we just we just keep going forward. I I've never really had like I know a lot of people have business plans, but I'm really intuitive about what feels right.Lesley Logan 5:04  Yeah, I hear you on that. Actually, let's just we'll just have a little bit on that. Because the banks love the business plan.Monica Linda 5:10  I mean, let me take that back. I have a business plan. Yeah. But I'm saying like, I've never started from the beginning and said, I want to photograph Karol G. and Coldplay in concert. That's not on my list.Lesley Logan 5:21  I know. But I but it's happening. I saw I saw you're gonna be at the Coldplay concert. You're, you're doing some stuff? Yeah. Yeah.Monica Linda 5:30  Yeah. Like, like that kind of stuff is not on my list. But the business plan is there for sure.Lesley Logan 5:35  Yeah, I think that that's I thank you for bringing that up. Because I think sometimes we get a I do. I do love prompts for making visualization work and manifestation work. And I do love a vision board. But I also think that sometimes a vision board rules can be a rules. I guess. It's just like directions, not rules. Can there? I do love specifics. I think it's really important to be specific when it's talking about like, who am I talking to in my business? Like, who am I doing this for? Like, you're very specific who you're doing for you. We all just heard what that was. Right. Right. Lesley Logan 6:06  But with my vision boards that I made in 2013, like they were kind of imagery, as opposed to like, specific. I didn't put a brunette guy. Yeah, right. Yeah, on my vision board. But I put me in, I put a visual of a couple in love in the center with rose gold rings. I didn't know exactly who that was going to be. Yeah. So like, I couldn't put something down that I hadn't met yet. And I think sometimes we get a little hung up. Like, I've got to get Oprah on my podcast. And it's like, yeah, yeah, love Oprah on my podcast. But here's some five people that I think I could probably get right now if I really nailed them. And Oprah should be asking me to be on my podcast. Oprah's people just saying, if you're listening, you can ask me. But I think it's like being open to surprises, but being specific enough and the in the nearest future. So some people have a hard time thinking 10 years ahead. And banks love a plan. They don't want to give you money if you don't have a plan. They don't want to actually give a lot of people money, I'm being really honest. No bank has given me any money. Thank God for the COVID SBA loan. Monica Linda 7:17  For sure, for sure.Lesley Logan 7:18  That was the only one there. Like do you want money? I'm like, I'll take it for I was like, how much like take all of it? How much? They may never offer us it again?Monica Linda 7:27  What is the max? Lesley Logan 7:28  So you have a business plan, but you haven't been specific like Coldplay wasn't on your list. What? What? What are some things that were on your list that you can't even believe happened? And what are some things that like, are just surprises along the way? Monica Linda 7:42  You know, I feel like I don't know if this is too woowoo. But this is really how it happens for me. I feel like as I become brighter as Monica Linda, my clients become brighter. Yeah. And I didn't mean for that to happen. But I'm finding that the bigger the client, the bigger the pay date, like all the things are, we've heard other people talk about this, it really is equivalent to how I feel about myself how I feel about my business, how I feel about not being an imposter that I do belong at the table. Like the more I'm really settling into that. The clients get bigger, and I'm not meaning to do that. But I'm almost playing a really fun game. Of I'm like, how bright can we really get?Lesley Logan 8:37  So I actually think that's really cool. I think like, no one means the brighter but like, isn't it way more fun? Monica Linda 8:45  Yeah, yeah. And it's also it's also I feel like it's a life. It's a life journey for me because I've come such a long way, that it always shocks me that I still have, I have that much more to work out. Like, I feel like I'm going to continue to try to be more of myself and brighter for the rest of my life. I don't think I'll ever really get there. But it is scary and terrifying. And also kind of cool. If you can like notice it's happening at the same time. Lesley Logan 9:12  Yeah, I love that. You mentioned something like the more you shine the caliber of client, you bring in shines, and something that I, we're in the service industry, obviously different services. But the truth is, is that like, we set our rates, there isn't there's there are costs of the businesses that we do. But there's also it's most of it is to our time. And so you're putting price on the same minutes that everyone has in a day. And so you have to value yourself a certain rate to create a value for those minutes. And it can be difficult to place value on those minutes because like oh my god, are they especially as a woman this because we've been raised this way. Are they gonna like me? I think I'm not enough for this. And when you said The shining, the brighter I've shined, the caliber of client also comes in. And also I uplevel the clients I already have. So everyone is winning here. What I see happen is in my industry is people fear that people won't like them. And they'll say no. So they're like, I think I need to discount my prices. I think I need to discount my prices. Do you have a story or a time where you kind of feared your rates? And maybe you did lower them? Or maybe you didn't lower them and like kind of how that went down? Because it's, it's hard. It's really hard when you work for yourself to separate when people say no to your rates, and it's not a rejection of you as a human being.Monica Linda 10:44  Yeah, no, it is really, really hard. I feel like a couple of years ago, it was really difficult when I would when I would set a price. And then would worry whether I was worthy of it or was I just experienced enough what with it, I knew that I was capable of doing it. But was I really able to like deliver the service and I used to struggle. But what ended up shifting for me is every time I felt that way, every time I felt like are they gonna like me? Or I could tell like somewhere I just didn't want to work with this client. But I wasn't I couldn't tell why I didn't. But what ended up happening is every time and I don't know how this happens, maybe somebody out there can tell us, but every time somebody asked me for a significant discount, it never works out. Never works out. No, like, that has been the hardest lesson for me the amount of times that I have not, I've been in a space where I was I was just in a funk or I wasn't feeling good. Or I was willing to compromise because I thought these people were brighter, or they were bigger or more popular.Lesley Logan 11:53  They tell you, Oh my God, I've got all these followers if you give me this discount, you're gonna get so much exposure.Monica Linda 11:59  Every time I'm telling you 100% of the time. And I have been in some serious situations that have been so deflating, exhausting, and literally sucked the life out of me. And what didn't bring me any joy. It has, it has been that so like, I almost feel like that lesson of the suffering of constantly putting myself in that situation made me actually do the opposite of like, let's really love myself here and ask and go for the ask. Because every time I do it the other way, it ends up failing. Lesley Logan 12:31  Yeah, I had James Patrick on the podcast, and he actually does a couple he had like, every once in a while on his on his Instagram account. He goes, here are some reasons here all the reasons why people have said I should work for free for them. And here's what my response was. And we can talk more about this. There is something about the way he says it that I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then I'm like, Oh, how am I going to say that? Because there's something about like, a dude saying that just that one. And people don't think he's an asshole. It's right. Like, someone goes, Oh, hey, you're gonna get lots of exposure, because I have a ton of followers. And he's like, followers don't pay my bills. And like, I read that and I don't go, What a dick. I read that go. That's right. Yeah. But like, there's something about if you and I were to say that sometimes I feel like people like bitch.Lesley Logan 13:24  Or they'd be like, she's so greedy. She wants so much money.Monica Linda 13:28  Oh, yeah.Monica Linda 13:29  Or who is she. She's not that big of a deal? Lesley Logan 13:31  Yeah, I know. So, um, but I love that you brought that up, because I had the same thing like a weird game. We're in different service industries. But I've had I had the clients were like, well, what if I pay cash? My favorite thing? Monica Linda 13:42  Mmm hmm. Yeah. Yeah.Lesley Logan 13:44  I saw that run that shit through my scheduling tool. So if I'm audited, that fucking shits on the books, the cash, the scheduling tool, you're still on the scheduling tool? Yeah. So you're there, you think they're not going to find that? They're gonna find that.Monica Linda 14:00  Somebody will always find the cash. Lesley Logan 14:02  Yeah, so I, um, I, I like the media does this thing every once in awhile when like, they think there's a recession happening where they say, Oh, just ask for a discount. Like you never know, especially for people who work for the small businesses need the money. So just ask, doesn't hurt to ask. Like, actually, it does hurt. It hurts the business owner, you're asking. Because even if they have the gall to say, No, you're still putting them through a mental gymnastics ring, especially if they're female to figure out, how do I kindly tell you to fuck off? Yeah. Like, how do I, how do I do that? Before we did this photo shoot today, which I'm I mean, I can't wait. I love our photo shoots. I mean, you know, but we had talked about you and hired you were you were, there was a situation where you were asking a couple of people for some rates, and there was the female and there was the male. Yep. Can you tell us all about that story? Because I feel like this really does puts a underline that we're talking about.Monica Linda 15:02  Yeah, so um, I have independent contractors that we work with all the time we hire photographers for big events, we hire videographers for different events, and 99% of the time, if I was to literally itemize how many times the guy always asked for at least four to 500 more, we're not talking 1000, maybe four to 500 more than any of the women do. And very rarely do any of the women videographers or photographers come back and ask for more. And when they do, my answer is yes. Usually when somebody when it when a woman photographer/videographer says, hey, I can do it for this amount, just because you asked. Absolutely. But I'm also not going to be the person who's going to like, make you name your price, right? That's your job and that is not my job. That is you. That is your job to ask for the right rate. So photographers/videographers ask for your rate first.Lesley Logan 16:02  I love this because so I have a mentorship program. And I And, and so the girls who come in, I mean, there could be a guy that comes in Sunday, but the women that come through, you know, they often tell her their clients, like,hHey, I'm doing this program. And I'm like working on this. And it's just to really better my teaching blah, blah. And some of their clients have just started paying them more. And they're like, my clients are just paying me more. And I'm like, Yeah, cuz they're like, raise your rates, I really value you. I'm loving what you're doing. And you're investing in yourself. And like, I love that their clients are just paying more. But also like, I really wish, I really wish that there was a an all public school, like training for how to really understand what you're worthy of, and how to negotiate. You and I live in L.A. and do you know when Sony was hacked, yeah, and all their all the prices for the male actors, like emails got out there. And all the women's emails got out. Yes. And like, I think it was Jennifer Lawrence, who was like, I learned a lot, right, I learned that I was just so grateful for the job. I said yes to whatever their offerings, right, which was $10 million less than the, my co-star who had less lines than me. Yeah. And like, that was a wake up call for me. I was like, what is happening? Why are we being taught the like, what are we not being taught actually what it is? So when, as a female photographer in the service industry, you know, the NFL reached out to you, they've hired you for things. Was there a time where like, oh, my gosh, I'm missing my rates? Like, uh, were you worried about that? Or was it because like, when the brands get bigger, do you worry less about saying your rates? Monica Linda 17:43  Um, no, I'm actually really thoughtful about the psychology behind pricing. And that's like, a whole other a whole other discussion. There. There are, there are some brands and some people who want you to come in at a certain price. What I've noticed is that you have to when you're working with a higher with a higher client, you have to ask yourself, how high of a client is this? And if they're used to paying a luxury brand, a luxury price, you have to do it. Or they're gonna say no to you because you are too cheap. Right? They're gonna that I tell people this all the time. It's actually true. If you if you have people that are used to paying for like, Rolls Royces and Mercedes Benz and cars I can't even describe. If you come in at a lower price, they will say no to you just because they are going to feel like you don't believe in yourself. So why am I going to trust you with my product?Lesley Logan 18:40  I got tested on this a couple times when I was Pilates, I'm still a Pilates, but as a Pilates instructor in LA, I had this guy, I happen to look him up because he was coming in for a 6am session. And I worked at a Brick and Mortar at the time of the winter. But I was and I was gonna be alone. And I was like, oh, 6 a.m. alone in a studio with a client. I don't know who's a male like, I, I do want to kind of know who's coming to the studio because like, I don't know who I'm expecting. And when a homeless person walks in, I'm like, hi, come on in like I wanted. So I like made a mix. I said I can you send me all of your information so I can Google you because I am meeting you at 6 a.m. And he was like, what? And I was like, yep, I'm a female. It's L.A., 6 a.m. I want your information. If you don't want that, then I don't want to see you. And he gave me his full name. I googled them. He's a venture capitalist fund, the owner of it all these things. And I was like, okay, he and I could see he like spent part of his time in New York, part of his time here and as (inaudible) client and I'm only going to have half a year probably. And so he came in for his first session. I taught him. We went over my rates. He did do the like, oh, are there any discounts if I pay cash, and I said, are there any discounts if I give you money for venture capitalism and cash like, does my does my money go further? And he looked at me, he goes, good job. Yeah. And he paid me even when he didn't come He like not we're not trying to like cancels. He's like, I'm gone next week. Charge me. Yeah, like I don't want the session to go away. And that tests you guys, I don't even know how I knew how to pass that test but as more of a safety thing for me, but when he pulled that shit, I was like, Are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah, you are nuts. You live in the multimillion dollar corridor that's across the street from my shitty apartment. Fuck no, you don't like there was a part I was like, pissed about it. But that, that pissed, like made me like step up. And I passed that test. And then I had this other guy who was an entrepreneur founder. He definitely, he did not have investors yet. And he was trying to get there. And he also tried to negotiate my rates. And I said, No, would you let people negotiate your sale on your company that you told me you're trying to sell? Monica Linda 20:48  Yeah, there, there has to be a moment where you're gonna have to draw a line in the sand. And also, you know, I, I can I also want to say like, I can take these risks, because I have I'm not new. And let's just, I have a portfolio that proves that I'm worth every penny. Yeah, so for every photographer, videographer who's out there, please. On another podcast, I will tell you the amount of free things that I had to say no to or lower my price. Just to build portfolio. That's a whole other discussion. That's not what we're talking about today. But um, if you're going to charge a premium price, your portfolio has to match that you just can't. You have to have the expertise, the photos, the website like the things have to match.Lesley Logan 21:37  I had a Johanna, you will talk to you on I remember her I had her on the podcast. She does the luxury branding, things. And her business card when you meet her in person, y'all. It is like as thick as a credit card actually thicker because I just was sent a credit card. I was like what is what is this business card I was just said, it is thick, like Amex platinum thick. You know what I mean, thick and it's like her beautiful, just amazing nails, like dripping down with gold on this thing. And she landed a Google account because of this. Her business card. Her business card represents her luxury brand, if she had handed the guy a paper business card, and said, I'm a luxury brand, brand game person like that doesn't match. Lesley Logan 22:26  So I love that you brought up like, the type of person you're wanting to serve your portfolio, or insert your website or business card or the way you show up has to actually go along with that if you're doing high-end photos, but you're actually doing low-end services, that's actually not going to speak to your audience. Just like if you were trying to do high-end photography or high-end clients in Pilates with low-end stuff. Like you have to make sure everything matches. And I do agree. We all did start somewhere you do have to but where you start is you should never ever be just like, oh, I don't talk about that. Like that's right, you have to talk about those things, because it's actually what got you there. And then there's like some, there's a muscle that you build when people when you are when you have a situation that goes bad. I recently had one that like went a little bit odd. And I was like, okay, I don't like how that happened. Where did I make a mistake in the contract. So now my contracts now have new dates in them, because I was like, I didn't like how that went down. That didn't match with me. So we can't just go. A bad situation is just the worst that ever happened and actually teaches us a lot of things. Monica Linda 23:39  It teaches you a lot of things. Sometimes you could do a really high-end client got paid 80% of what you really wanted, but ended up getting so much more out of it from the portfolio or you learn that. Shoot, I should have charged 100% and dammit, they would have paid it. Lesley Logan 23:57  Oh, I do love this. Okay. But that's a confidence thing. Like we're like when you did that where you were like, oh, I could have charged more they would have paid it but I didn't feel confident in asking that? Monica Linda 24:10  Totally. And that is like the biggest difference I've noticed when I am quoting any product that I give now is there is a confidence that feels good. That I didn't feel at the beginning. And I'm literallyLesley Logan 24:23  Which is hard. It's hard. You can be it till you see it. But it's still hard. Monica Linda 24:26  It's still hard. It's still hard but there is like this confidence of like I am at least in the room. Right? Okay, so let's let's flex that muscle because there was a time that I couldn't charge those things because the muscle wasn't it definitely wasn't there yet. There's a quote by Gary Vaynerchuk. And I know I'm gonna say it wrong, but I remember Lesley Logan 24:46  He probably won't yell at us.Monica Linda 24:49  But I remember years ago when I first started my business I was listening to a lot because I kind of like, you know, everyone's part. I listen to his podcast based on what I need. So at that point, I needed somebody to kick me in the ass. Lesley Logan 25:00  Yeah, he will.  Monica Linda 25:00  He will, he will definitely kick you in the ass. So one thing he said is that when you're working with higher clientele, you can't fake the bullshit. You can't outsmart a, you can't, you can't out bullshit, somebody who's like has a lot of money. So you have to work on the confidence, you have to work on your pricing. Because the people that you're wanting to work with on the other end are going to see right through it and aren't going to hire you for that reason, too. Lesley Logan 25:26  And I also think, like, look, what's expensive is very subjective. So what's it what was expensive to me when I was working in retail and had massive student loans that like a tiny little apartment is very different than what's expensive to me now. Now, I might not be able to afford some of the things that I don't think are expensive in this current state that we're talking right now. But they don't they're their price feels fair for what they are. And I think that's an interesting thing. I think sometimes we think when I can't afford something must be too expensive. No, the price is fair. I just am not able to afford that yet. And we were both in that master you were photography in that mastermind. Remember that woman who came through and Chris and Lori's very first fast foundation. She was his whole like money mantra. Yeah. Are you there that day was like really it was the in person the second weekend. Okay. And she was from the UK. And she was talking about like, you it's very important. You never say like, I can't afford those sheets. And instead saying, I'm not buying those sheets today.Monica Linda 26:26  Yes. Which is, which is a big difference. Lesley Logan 26:28  It's a very big difference. So like, I everyone knows, I want a G-Wagon. You will never hear me say they're too expensive. You won't. Monica Linda 26:37  You just don't, you're just not getting one today. Lesley Logan 26:38  I'm just not getting one today. Yeah, but I'm gonna have one. And it's not too expensive. It's just not in. It's not what I'm spending my money on in this moment. You know?Monica Linda 26:47  Totally. And I feel like this is an, I don't where I don't know where men get this. Because I feel that my confidence in my level of just self-worth is equivalent to kind of what's happening in my client roster. I feel like what's different between men and I would love to hear I don't think Monica Linda 26:52  Brad will chime in on Thursday. Monica Linda 27:04  Well, I don't know how, I want to hear his thoughts, I don't think they need confidence in order to match price point. I don't know that because I'm not a dude. But I feel like they learned that earlier. They don't need like, they don't need self-worth to charge millions of dollars.Lesley Logan 27:23  Here's where it comes from. And this is gonna sound really terrible. But for the moms listening, let's just stop doing this with your children. Boys are like boys live boys. Oh my God, look what you did. So big. Look at this boy like did that and girls are like, don't brag shhh. Don't talk too much in class. Don't, no, no, no. No one wants you to talk too much. Like, hey, you know, like, I, my parents tell stories all the time about how like, I when, apparently, when I was three years old or four years old, I was taken down to San Diego. It's an eight-hour drive from where we lived, at least. And apparently I talked to the whole way there. And that's all they talk about. That's not all they talk about. But yeah, growing up, that story was so told so much. And the way it was told and this is not, because they're probably listening, it's I'm sure they didn't mean to, but it made me embarrassed. It didn't feel like oh my God, our daughter talks so much because she's so articulate has so many creative things to say. Yeah, it felt like wow, she can't shut up.Monica Linda 28:25  And she can't be too much. Lesley Logan 28:27  Yeah. And so and again, I because I don't want to (inaudible) mom or dad. Yeah. I don't know that that was an intentional thing. But I've never heard them say my brother talks too much.Monica Linda 28:38  No, and I've never heard my my parents say that my brothers I used to get in trouble all the time from my mom used to say, we shouldn't have let her be such a free thinker. We we actually let her be that too much. Like I remember hearing, hearing those conversations when I was like talking or I would like come up with ideas where I'd want to do this or I'd want to like, buy like Vogue magazine. My mom would be like, we don't do that. Like, you shouldn't want you shouldn't almost like I shouldn't want to be more than that.Lesley Logan 29:09  Yeah. And I mean, like, obviously, they're coming from the what, however they were raised. What if so, like (inaudible). Yes. Love, love. Hi, guys. Love you. But like also those things, unintentionally, tell your daughters, you're too much. Monica Linda 29:27  Too much. Lesley Logan 29:28  You're being too much. And if my brother ran to the mud, it was like, oh my God, what a character. If we were to run through the mud, it's like we told you to stay clean. You have to stay clean. And also, I was raised in a very religious environment where it's like, don't show your shoulders because you're going to make people you know, you're gonna make boys be distracted and you're gonna make them stumble and it's your fault, which is, so I think even even that stuff makes women hide. Yeah, make some overthink of everything Well, if I charge that, what will people think if I wear this? What will people think? And the boys are never told, like pull your pants up? No one wants to see your underwear. Monica Linda 30:08  That's right. That's right. Or, um, don't be too, you know, sexy or, you know, don't take your while you're playing basketball, don't take your shirt off. Yes, you know, they're never there. They're actually never told that. I feel like the the biggest thing that I still struggle with, sometimes with my parents is, can I trust my own thoughts? Because I feel like as a girl, we're constantly taught to get feedback, to ask your husband to ask your father for advice. Very rarely did I hear anyone say ask your mother for advice. I was told ask your dad for advice. And, um, I feel like even now, that's something that I have to work on is I am smart enough to make my own decisions with my wife or without her. And I have to like remember that. And that is that, that I think that's a muscle that I think a lot of women struggle with. Lesley Logan 31:08  I agree. And also, like, I had a woman on who was talking about the feminine and masculine energies. And I struggle with that, because, you know, I own my own business. That's a masculine energy. And I'm in a marriage, and I would like to be more feminine energy in that state. But it's complicated when you work from home. And you work with your partner. So it's almost like, there's a trade off who's been in the feminine energy, who's been the masculine energy, but there's part of me as someone who like, was told no so much that I'm like, I want to fucking ask anyone permission, which is not great when you have a business partner. And I like also, I do have 25 people whose like, payrolls are our responsibility. So I do have to do that. And it's a struggle of like, okay, what am I going to fight for? And like, am I going to, what are some things like, I'm gonna draw a line in the sand here and go, we're not doing it that way. And so and then also because I'm, and then I find myself saying, is that okay, does that make sense? Does that make sense? And it's like, not everything has to be a battle pick and choose yours. I'm and I'm pretty good at that. But like, I am really struggling with going okay, like, are you okay with that? Honestly, like, for the things that I'm gonna draw a line, I really don't care if you're okay with that. But like, I really struggle just going. I'm good here. So, we're all going to be good here. Monica Linda 32:35  Yeah. And, and one of the things I'm training my wife in a loving way, because guys do this effortlessly, and women crawl over it. Is it's okay for a woman to be powerful to have the biggest dick in the room. There is some strength in being the biggest person in the room, being the smartest person and guys walk in and women are like, oh my god, I just like love him. But when girls do it, we can't we can't be that we can't we can't be that strong. And what I want my wife and kind of other people to just explore is that when women are strong that sexy. Monica Linda 33:15  There's something sexy about it.Monica Linda 33:15  When we're masculine that's sexy. Lesley Logan 33:16  And also (inaudible) I think so. I think so. Monica Linda 33:16  Sometimes it's fun to be masculine. Lesley Logan 33:18  Um, well, I think we all carry masculine and feminine energy. It's like, it's almost it's like a dimmer switch is really what it is. Like, you can turn it on and like, depending on where what situation you do you want to be the person who receives being cared for or do you want to like, when you are taking action is a masculine energy and when you are receiving that is feminine energy. So when do you want to do that? And obviously, there's times when you want to be receiving, so but I, I find this really fascinating, I think, like, we I was on a board, where it was like eight women and one dude. And the guy and I like we flew on the flights together. And we talked about, like, what is our goal for the meeting? And I was like, well, I promise you that if I say it first they're going to deny it. They're gonna talk a lot about it. But then if you come in and say it with your accent as well on top of being a dude, they're gonna vote for it. Monica sort of fucking god every single time yep, I would go I want to do this and everyone go oh, can't do that. Here's all those and they would debate about it and then he goes well, what if we just do it like this? He would say the exact same thing with a slightly different sentence with an with his amazing accent. And oh, we vote yes on it. And I'm like, it pissed me off. But also once I figured out the game, we just like took it and ran with it. Lesley Logan 34:48  However, it's like your point, like when a guy can come in the room like people can shift the energy and like actually ladies, we can shift the energy we can shift the and we can have more power one we have to actually remember, there's more than there's more room at the table now, there's not only one spot for a woman, there's actually way more room. In fact, many, many companies have like, hey, we have this many people of color of different diversities and genders here at the table. So there's more of us that are there. And to not say, does that make sense? To say? Do you have any other clarifying questions I can answer. That is a sense that I'm really trying to own, because it really does change the leadership role I have in a room and the way we can have it. And it's a really hard habit, because we're like, I want to make sure it makes sense. I want to make sure everyone understands I don't want to piss anyone off. Monica Linda 35:40  Because God forbid, we don't make sense. Oh my God.Lesley Logan 35:43  God forbid, we also are not liked by everybody. Monica Linda 35:45  Oh, my God. Lesley Logan 35:46  Monica. The whole world.Monica Linda 35:49  God forbid, we don't make sense.Lesley Logan 35:51  So okay, so this amazing photographer here, the NFL's photographer of choice. People are gonna want to know how that happened. Like, you don't have to say all the details. But what has that been like? And like, did that? I mean, you said, you're here to help women, like have the media that shows them the work that they are like, when the NFL call we're like, what? I photograph women. Monica Linda 36:19  Yeah. You know what, but the but the reason, one of the main reasons why we were even brought into the room was because we were women. And this is where it's okay to play. That's I do, like we were brought into this group, because we are gay, because I am a minority, because I am a female. So those are badges of honor. I'm happy to be all three of those happy to be gray. I'm a gay, happy to be Mexican. Happy to be a female. (Inaudible) I'm also great. Yeah, I'm happy to be all those things. So when an opportunity to work for the Superbowl and the NFL came open, because of these opportunities, it would have been crazy to say, oh, I'm not going to do it. Because I didn't get in just as a woman. These are opportunities that show up. nd they weren't asking that wasn't the only reason my portfolio matched it. Right. Right. Right. Right. But it was also the one of the things that helped get into that room.Lesley Logan 37:22  I actually love that you said this, because the statistics are that if a woman has eight or nine out of 10 qualifications that someone's asking for, they will say, Oh, I'm not ready, I won't apply. And a dude could have six out of 10 things. And he's like I'm applying. And I love that you're like, yeah, they were looking for these three demographic qualities I happen to fit in. But also your portfolio matches what they were looking for. Yeah. So I think that's really cool. Because so many people might have, for sure, I have gotten things like, thrive and like, oh, I got picked for that because I lived in L.A. and I was really close to that thing. And yes, but also, I still had to show up at the caliber they were expecting I still had to do that. So yeah, it might be my location, gave me a leg up but you still have to actually show up as what they're expecting or what they're needing.Monica Linda 38:18  And you also have you have to deliver the product. But working for agencies like that has literally changed my life. changed the game, changed my the quality of my work, it leveled me up on levels I didn't even know. It like, it like catapulted me into a new era of just different clients. The quality of work is faster, the way you engage, the professionalism, the time, the time. I recently saw somebody who I hadn't seen in four years and was like, oh my God, you almost look like a totally different person. But I'm so used to changing as time goes along on that I hadn't even noticed you know, the girl who quit her job in 2016 has made all this growth and it's it hasn't been it hasn't been easy. It there are moments that it's really, really hard. And then, but I continue to continually ask myself, Am I on path? What I think is interesting that's coming up that I'm going to tell now that I don't know where this is going. But it's fascinating to me. The concert series is blowing my effing mind.Lesley Logan 39:27  Like the Taylor Swift, the Beyonce, that kind of thing.Monica Linda 39:30  Like the Beyonce. We just did Karol G. She is the first Latina to ever sell out the Pasadena Rose Bowl stadium two nights in a row. No other Latina has ever done that before. We photograph that event. And we were we were here's where opportunity meets. We were booked by the actual stadium themselves because they needed revenue they needed to build revenue generated media. Lesley Logan 39:56  Oh, okay. Okay, okay. This is just in total alignment with what you do. Monica Linda 40:00  Total alignment with what I do. But what's so interesting is that you have these big, huge companies that are seeing content needs to be built. And they're reaching out to people. So this is an opportunity for everybody. They're reaching out to people like us because you think that these big organizations have staff, let me tell you, they do not. I'm consistently constantly surprised at how many of these big agencies do not have on staff people. So it is an opportunity every single time. But the concert series is really interesting, because I don't I don't like to photograph celebrities, just because they're celebrities. I'd really like to do it. Because when you meet them in person, they are bright. Their energy is magnetic. It literally gives me goosebumps, they are so full of their purpose. Do you know how hard it is to get in front of a stage of 300,000 people, 400,000 people and do your thing creatively? Yeah, like the energy of photographing that is just so amazing. And I'm predicting. And I recently said this the beginning of last year, I'm predicting that female entrepreneurs on stages will become rock stars. I am predicting that.Lesley Logan 41:13  I do agree. I think that's happening. Especially like the keynote speaker thing is really, really a thing. Monica Linda 41:19  We're at the beginning part of it. Lesley Logan 41:20  I agree. And I also am like, like, love Oprah. Hi, your people can call. But also I'm really excited because there's so many women of incredible thought concepts coming through that we could have 50 Oprahs instead of a Oprah. Monica Linda 41:37  That's right. That's right. Lesley Logan 41:38  I feel like there's over a hundred Oprah's. Monica Linda 41:40  I feel like Oprah has led the way. I feel like so many people Lesley Logan 41:43  Oh she really like forced the path. Thank God. Monica Linda 41:46  Forced the path, but I can see it, I see it happening in front of my camera all the time, the level, the excitement, the enthusiasm that women entrepreneurs feel when they see their people on stage. I feel like though they're just going to be I think it's an opportunity for a lot of just females to become rockstars. Lesley Logan 42:03  Yeah. And also, ladies, it's because all these are putting themselves in rooms. Monica Linda 42:08  That's right. They're putting their stuff on stages. Lesley Logan 42:10  This is the I think the thing that you and I met because we put ourselves in a room. And, hilariously, you have photographs of me putting myself in a room way before we actually like, consciously did it in a coaching group. I love how the world works. But when you put yourself in rooms, it is a game changer. It makes you be it till you see it on another level because you're in a room of people who don't know you yet. This is what I think if you were like, I don't know how to show up as me if you go back to Nikole Mitchell's episode, where she like literally moved town so she could like be the person she wanted to be because she couldn't do it at her own town. Because there's too many people who knew the old version of her that she wasn't in alignment with and she wasn't being authentic for. But when you put yourself even if you get like, I can't move, okay, put yourself in a group of people, you don't know anyone. And you can really show up as the person that you always wanted to be. And like we did that. And it really does help you because when you leave that room, you you dim your light, you're like, ooh, this is I'm feeling good because it felt really good yesterday when my light was much brighter, like you kind of it allows you to kind of be in that upper level you've always wanted to be in so you could be a rock star someday. Monica Linda 43:20  Totally. And I feel like that's something when if I go back to the whole, like, networking thing, what you don't know if you have not put yourself into rooms like that, that has now happened is you whatever room you put yourself into, no matter what stage you're at, whether you're small or big, you actually do rise together. And I think that has been that has been so fun to participate in the people there are people that fall off. But there's some people that just have elevate at the same time. Lesley Logan 43:49  Have you seen what Alex Reid is doing? It's insane. He is coaching some crazy amazing people. And when he was in that room with us, you guys, I think he's episode five or seven. Yeah, anyways, when he was in that room with us, he you know, he was at a crossroads he was like starting fresh and new and like he owned this like skill set that he didn't even value at the time he was like, I don't know, is this a thing and it's like such a thing and it's kind of crazy to watch him his star rise and just go (inaudible) star rise and all these different people it's like really so fun. I mean, I'm watching you and like it's today during our photoshoot. I was just like in this like moment of like such gratitude I was like, I can't believe like I'm so grateful that this woman is part of my life. And I then I am like thinking about all the powerful men that are like my girlfriends like my friends. And we're both friends with Korinne like, oh my God. Like, this girl as a friend of mine, like just amazing women. Lesley Logan 44:48  I had the opportunity in April to go to a conference, She Who Wins, and it was just all these incredible women and I told the story on the pod months ago but this the keynote speaker I was like, in awe of her when she's speaking, sharing her part, I was just like, oh my God. And then because I was shining my bright light because I was in the space like, and I could like even shine even brighter because I was like, oh my God, I'm around all these people who don't even know and I'm like getting filled up, my my cup has been filled even more. And she comes up to the end of the thing. And she's like, you are like magnetic, I had been watching you all day, I need to know more about you. And I'm like, you want to mark me. You're the keynote speaker I want I'm like could you be on my podcast? But it's kind of crazy. When you put yourself in a room. Her bright light made my light, shine brighter. And it's so crazy. Because sometimes, oh, if I go in this room, there's been so much competition. There's me, all these people who do the same thing as me. That's like, that's not true. Monica Linda 45:45  If you walk in thinking that way. Absolutely. That's going to be true. But if you walk in thinking, like, I just want to meet people who we can, like, hang out together, like just turn down the noise in your head just a little bit and just just walk in the room. Like I heard that quote from I think it was Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey says, when there's an opportunity, and it presents itself to you, I do not want you to think about what's on the other side of the door, what I want you to do is walk through the door, just walk through the door, because the universe, all the things on the other side, if they open the door for you are going to take care of you. I feel like the other thing, getting in these rooms really helps is if I see Lesley Logan making a million dollars or more. I can do it too. And I feel like getting yourself into rooms like that where people where it's for a second, you can see it's possible that the possible part will take you a long way. If they can do it, I can do it too.Lesley Logan 46:49  Yeah, you're in the room when when. Because I've been really like this before Brad came on my team. And I was like, you know, he was a reason he's the first person who told me I could make a million dollars. And I was like, I don't know how that's gonna happen. And then like, through life's obstacles, and just like the slog of him working on his own business, you know, there were some struggles and I it's not we lost our way at all, but it's just like it. It just felt like the million dollars is like never gonna happen. And then we put ourselves in that room. And we like we're doing some things and we're like, oh my god, we're gonna make a million dollars. We're gonna make a million dollars. It's gonna happen. And not that a million dollars is like you made it. I mean, at this point it's like nothing, but it's this like, opportunity of like, oh my god, if I can make a million dollars, that means I'm worth millions of dollars. Like that means I'm like, yeah, it's just like, it's this thing. And it does help you aspire to be more than you were yesterday. With Allen Stein Jr. on the beginning, like the first week of January of 2023. And he has a thing is how he ends every day is like, am I 1% closer to the man I want to be each day. And so it's not like the million dollars is my goal. It's not my goal. My goal is the impact I'm here to make on this planet. And and I get paid back in money. That's how energy works. But it's really like just having the opportunity to like when you put yourself in there you go through the door, you do see what's possible. And it might, it might not at all equal what you ever dreamed of. It's rarely ever as worse as you thought it could be. It's you know, it's like cement kind of somewhere in the middle and it really points in the next direction. The next hallway to go down where the next door is. But fuck yeah, you got to go through the door. Oh, Jim Carrey.Monica Linda 48:33  Jim Carrey. There's a documentary on I can't remember the documentary on Netflix. But he talks about the whole thing and I just feel like, every time I get a, you know, an inquiry like the Super Bowl or Karol G or Coldplay or Sting or the Hollywood BowlLesley Logan 48:48  Oh my are you doing Sting in Vegas?Monica Linda 48:50  I'm not confirming or denyingLesley Logan 48:53  Because I saw him in Vegas. So I'm just gonna say Monica Linda 48:55  He's going to the Hollywood Bowl, but I can neither confirm nor deny any of those things. But I'm saying when those things present themselves, I could tell myself I'm this little girl from Texas who grew up in a trailer park I should not be photographing Sting. But there's also a part of me that says just be so awesome to photograph somebody who's so creative in his brilliance. Lesley Logan 49:19  Oh, he's brilliant. Monica Linda 49:20  That would just like that's the reason I don't I don't care about all the other stuff, but just the creative part of it. Lesley Logan 49:26  Oh my God. So the next time you photograph me I'm gonna have Sting's photographer.Monica Linda 49:32  I can't. I'm super superstitious. I wish I could knock on wood has not happened but let's just say what's gonna happen.Lesley Logan 49:41  Yeah, okay, well well we'll we'll let you know guys we'll we'll we'll update on the FYF so have Monica do a Fuck Yeah Friday episode. Okay, we have to take a brief break you've given us so much I really hope everyone listening to this was like felt like a fly on the wall and was like yelling and screaming and clapping with us. I really hope that this really put some food for thought. But we're gonna come back. Find out how people can find you, follow you, work with you and your Be It Action Items. Lesley Logan 50:03  All right, Monica, where do you like to hang out? What are your handles? How can people book a photo shoot with you so they shine fucking brighter?Monica Linda 50:11  I am not ashamed to say that I'm only on Instagram. Proudly. I do not feel the pressure tobbe on TikTok. Instagram is my home.Lesley Logan 50:19  I got on TikTok and I haven't posted anything in a fucking year and it was like you have to relog in I was like, well fuck that. I'm never doing that.Monica Linda 50:25  Let me be the first to tell you you do not need to have a proper you can not have a only profitable business if you do one social media. Just fucking pick one. Just pick one, everybody? So Instagram is where I live. Lesley Logan 50:37  She's on Instagram. As Girl SquadMonica Linda 50:39  Girl Squad Media. Lesley Logan 50:40  Yes. And if people want to get a photoshoot with you do they just hit you up there? Monica Linda 50:45  Yeah, just hit me up on Instagram. You can also go to my website and fill out the the contact information. And my team will get back to you.Lesley Logan 50:52  Yeah, you're amazing team. Oh my God love them. And also sometimes you do like little pop up events in different places. So you guys don't have to be in Vegas or L.A. Like just contact you never know where she could be popping up. I mean, oh my goodness. She goes on tour with like, I don't know Beyonce or something like that. Maybe she'll be in your town. I'm just like, we're just dreaming big over here. So bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take what are some action steps people can take who are inspired by our conversation today?Monica Linda 51:19  Just pick a room that's a little bigger than you like a little bigger than where you feel like you are and just walk into it. Just do a lot of practice. Just keep doing it over and over. And you'll surprise yourself. You'll look back one day and be like, God, I've come a long way. Just get into a room that's a little bigger than you.Lesley Logan 51:36  I love that. That is the first time we've ever had that. Brilliant. Oh my gosh, Monica Linda. Girl Squad Media. I'm so fucking grateful that you're in my life. I fucking love you. I love I want to say this. Every time I see what you're doing. I love that I get to celebrate that. Like, I love the end ladies listening like I promise you on your worst day if you see someone doing something that you like, that is like a win or amazing or something that like is just bigger than you're like and you're low. You celebrate them, you instantly feel brighter. And you feel you actually take in that opportunity that inspiration because you know it's possible for you and so every time I see you do it like fucking she's a fucking (inaudible) doing this fucking thing that's so amazing. And I like celebrate it and then like good things happen that are big for me too like, it's not there's no fucking pie of success ladies, all of us can have exactly the life we want. If your life is not a photographer (inaudible) whatever your biggest dreams are, you can have them and your friends can have theirs. It doesn't take away from anyone else. So take up all the fucking space. Be it till you see it. Make sure you tag Girl Squad Media and the Be It Pod with your takeaways of this episode. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 52:57  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.Lesley Logan 53:24  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell 53:28  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 53:32  It is produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 53:32  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 53:39  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 53:49  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

My guest, Renée Bauer shares invaluable wisdom as she is on the brink of selling her company (at a very young age). She is an attorney, international speaker, accomplished entrepreneur, and personal hype squad for countless women. She is also the founder of She Who Wins, a business dedicated to helping women crush conventions and live a bold daring life. In this episode, Renée shares her insights on the importance of personal branding and differentiation in the financial industry. She discusses specific strategies to help financial advisors stand out and attract the right clients, as well as her own journey in separating her personal brand from her business for scalability. Here's what you'll get from this episode: Why you must showcase your unique personality and connect personally with potential clients The importance of better understanding and addressing the specific pain points and desires of your target audience to effectively attract and keep the right clients. How to navigate the challenges and benefits of detaching personal branding from the business to make it more marketable and scalable. The value of staying true to one's vision and intuition, even when facing opposition or self-doubt, supported by the right mentorship and community. Connect with Renée Bauer: Website: https://msreneebauer.com/ Website: https://www.familylawyerct.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rbauer1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/ Connect with Robyn Crane Website: https://robyncrane.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bizgrowth4women LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/robyn-crane-inc. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RobynCrane Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robyncrane/?hl=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Renee Bauer is an attorney, motivational speaker, best selling author, and accomplished entrepreneur, and today we covered a plethora of topics. Renee shares her experience and the lessons she learned from divorce, and shares what to look for when it comes to divorce. We also cover marriage topics such as prenups, managing finances, divorce laws, the conversations that need to be had before marriage, and much more. Renee also dives into her book, "She Who Wins" where she teaches women to ditch their inner “good girl” and to be free from limitations, overcome doubt and uncertainty, people pleasing, and to live the life you dream of. Some methods to bring success in your life being a "no list" and "stop, drop, and roll." We hope you get lots of value out of this episode and learn to ditch you inner "good girl." Follow Renee: https://msreneebauer.com IG: @msreneebauer She Who Wins Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/she-who-wins/id1519600005Follow us:@excusemyfriend @heartlynrae

For the 139th episode of Private Parts Unknown, host Courtney Kocak welcomes divorce attorney Renée Bauer for a conversation about divorce, prenups, common reasons couples break up, and how to avoid them. Renée Bauer is an award-winning divorce attorney, international speaker, accomplished entrepreneur, and personal hype squad for countless women. She's the founder of She Who Wins, a business dedicated to helping women crush conventions and live bold, daring lives. Renée is also the author of a book and the host of a weekly podcast by the same name.  For more Renée Bauer: Buy Renée's book She Who Wins on bookshop.org Listen to the She Who Wins podcast Check out Renée's website msreneebauer.com Follow Renée on Twitter @msreneebauer Follow Renée on Instagram @msreneebauer Psst, Courtney also has an OnlyFans, which is a horny way to support the show: onlyfans.com/cocopeepshow Private Parts Unknown is a proud member of the Pleasure Podcast network. This episode is brought to you by: Lume is a whole-body deodorant for pits, privates, and beyond. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code PPU at lumedeodorant.com! #lumepod Explore yourself and say yes to self-pleasure with Lovehoney. Save 15% off your next favorite toy from Lovehoney when you go to ppupod.com, click Lovehoney, and enter code Private at checkout. Fleshlight is the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. Fleshlight is offering Private Parts Unknown listeners 10% off with code PRIVATE. Go to ppupod.com, click Fleshlight, and enter code PRIVATE at checkout. https://linktr.ee/PrivatePartsUnknownAds If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating and sexy review! —> ratethispodcast.com/private  Psst... sign up for our Private Parts Unknown newsletter for bonus content related to our episodes! privatepartsunknown.substack.com Let's be friends on social media! Follow the show on Instagram @privatepartsunknown and Twitter @privatepartsun. Connect with host Courtney Kocak @courtneykocak on Instagram and Twitter. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever think about if it is possible to be “happy even after” something has happened? Renee Bauer, divorce attorney, author, International speaker, and co-founder of The Tarot Bridge joins us for a discussion about perfectionism, her new book: “She Who Wins” and the many stories we tell ourselves about money lack, why we avoid uncomfortable conversations, worthiness, being people pleasers and how it all comes down to gaining clarity and knowing. When we hold on it prevents us from moving forward whether that is with a divorce, career, etc. and we don't want to live with regrets. Renee shares two very key takeaways about 1) Decision points and 2) Acknowledge the excuses. And this fabulous quote by Loverly.com              “ It's so freeing when you stop letting the weight of other people's opinions weigh you down.”# decisionpoints #vulnerability #noregrets #wilempowered  Want to increase your ability to network with anyone like a pro? Join our on-demand Networking: Love it or Hate it webinar to build the skills like a pro, live Q&A sessions monthly, and the opportunity to grow your network. To learn more visit www.wilempowered.com.  

To be a brave woman at work, you need to bring your whole self to work. This means the personal side, the professional side, the physical side, and the emotional side. Today, we are going to talk about relationships, especially after divorce, with my guest Renée Bauer. Renée is passionate about helping women stand strong in their relationships, recognize red flags, determine when parting may be better than staying, and discover what comes next after divorce. This was an eye-opening conversation for me, and one that I'm sure you will benefit from, no matter what your relationship status. During my chat with Renée, we discussed:1. Why did Renée choose to be a divorce attorney to begin with?2. What was Renée's life and work like after her second divorce? How did it shape her purpose?3. What motivated Renée to write the She Who Wins book? And what learnings about grit and resistance she had throughout that process?4. How this book was her own personal lesson in not being perfect?5. How rejection is not something to feel bad about, but something to learn and grow from?6. How each of us have our own version of bullshit, and what to do with it.7. How expectations can hamper our ability to grow and win at whatever we are doing.8. And more.

Renee Bauer is a divorce attorney, international speaker and author of four books – She Who Wins, Divorce in Connecticut, The Ultimate Guide to Solo and Small Firm Success, and a children's book, Percy's Imperfectly Perfect Family. She hosts the annual She Who Wins Summit, a live event created to inspire, motivate and challenge women to move forward bravely in their personal and business lives. Her impact has been recognized by Success Magazine where she was nominated as a Woman of Influence and with awards such as Litigator of the Year, Women-Owned Business of the Year, and New Leaders in the Law. She has been featured in multiple media outlets such as the International Business Times, Comment Central, AP News, NBC, FOX, and iHeart Radio. In this episode of Last First Date Radio: Why women tend to come out on top post-divorce Why divorced women seek support more often than men Four tips that will help you navigate divorce successfully The most important question you can ask yourself if you're unsure about divorce Connect with Renee Free gift: Get a copy of Renee's new book. To enter, rate and review Last First Date Radio, and send the screenshot to sandy@lastfirstdate.com Sandy will pick a lucky winner to receive She Who Wins! Facebook https://www.facebook.com/renee.c.bauer YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCttlmwiTWIb2k4bIknwm8uQ  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/ Website https://msreneebauer.com/ ►Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/lastfirstdateradio  ►If you're feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application  ►Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate  ►Get Sandy's books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love https://bit.ly/womanofvaluebook  and Choice Points in Dating https://amzn.to/3jTFQe9  ►Get FREE coaching on the podcast! https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching  ►FREE download: “Top 10 Reasons Why Men Suddenly Pull Away” http://bit.ly/whymendisappear  ►Group Coaching: https://lastfirstdate.com/the-woman-of-value-club/  ►Website → https://lastfirstdate.com/  ► Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/lastfirstdate1/  ►Get Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for 30 days at getamazonmusic.com/lastfirstdate  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sandy-weiner9/message

Uncover the keys to success in the dynamic world of marketing and PR with Lesley and Whitney. Discover actionable insights for understanding and connecting with your target audience and how you can differentiate yourself from a saturated market. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to boost marketing skills and pick the best platform.Why clear target audience definitions matter and ways to get direct customer feedback.How to prioritize visibility and set goal benchmarks.The benefits of brand partnerships and capitalizing on uniqueness.Cultivating a problem-solving approach and avoiding emotion-led decisions.Episode References/Links:Whitney Lee's Instagram - @thewhitneylee @truestorypublicrelationsWhitney's True Story Public Relations WebsiteTrue Story: The PR PodcastWhitney's LinkedInShe Who Wins Whitney Lee episodeGuest Bio:Whitney Lee is a marketing and PR strategy expert, the founder of True Story Public Relations - a 7-figure, award-winning agency, helping companies in the hospitality, products, and service industries thrive. Her superpower is her ability to help frustrated business owners who've tried it all, cut through all the noise and develop a custom strategy that actually moves the needle.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023Get your free Athletic Greens 1 year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free travel packsGet your discount for some Toe Sox using the code: LESLEYBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Just because we're experts, not every single thing we do works perfectly on the first try. Hello, I jokingly say like we're like little scientists, like we make a hypothesis based off of our education and our experience. And then we try out the hypothesis. And then we see what happens and we tweak from there. You know, like, it's okay, if everything you do, it's not going to, I'm going to go ahead and make that like clear statement, not everything you do is going to work on the first try. And most of the time, it's not going to work on the first try. But the difference is they're just people who push through and keep trying. Lesley Logan 0:00  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:04  All right loves, so today's guest I'm so excited about. First of all, I'm more excited than my voice sounds. I don't know why it's gone. Always gonna Be It Till You See It for this whole intro. I have one of my dear friends on her name is Whitney Lee, she is phenomenal. She's such a badass bitch. And I, I just love being around her. I love the conversations I have. I love how honest and vulnerable she is. And she doesn't, she's she, what I love about what she does in her life is that she doesn't take things that happened in her business personally, she really truly is like, let's look at the facts. And let's make these things happen. And I love that as an inspiration to all of us, whether it is a business that you're listening to this podcast for, or your or a personal goal, the things that are happening to us are not personal attacks on us. They are just interesting obstacles for us to get some information from and move forward. And so when you get to this part of the conversation, that's going to come about feelings, I hope that you stop, listen, rewind, pay attention again. She's fucking phenomenal. And and so today I had her on because I love talking to PR people because they are like an ultimate be it till you see it when it comes to business. But she also has such honest advice that you can use to create your own PR and be your own self. And if you remember from Hillary Heartlines episode about branding that even if you're not a business, you are a brand because it's how you leave people feeling. If you listen to that episode and this one back to back, babe, I think you're gonna have a great fucking day. So here is Whitney Lee. Lesley Logan 1:32  Hey, Be It babe. So I'm super excited. This can be a fun conversation with a friend. I'm so happy to have met. We have a lot of friends in common many who've you've heard on the podcast before. Whitney Lee, we actually met at She Who Wins. She has a PR company called True Story. And she's just phenomenal at what she does. But we met at the She Wins Conference, which is like a bunch of amazing women. And you're just I went to your workshop and you're just a delight about PR and making it so accessible. So I had to have you on because I wanted to share your amazingness with our listeners, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? Whitney Lee 2:28  Hey, friend, thanks for having me. My name is Whitney Lee, So, my company is True Story. We've been in business about 10 years now. So we do a lot of PR we also do social, social media paid and organic. We do a lot of email funnels. But honestly, like, at the end of the day, what I would say our superpower is is like business owners are so overwhelmed with all this crap that they see. Should I be doing email marketing, text messages, Google ads, billboards? Should I have my own podcast, they get so overwhelmed with all these different, I should be doing this to promote my business, we help kind of like, bust through all of that and just say no, no, here are the things you need to focus on. And let's crush these things. So for some clients, we're actually their team, we're the ones executing for them. And then other clients, especially some of the smaller businesses that we work with, we just build a plan for them. And we teach their team how to take it and run with it. SoLesley Logan 3:26  Freaking so cool. I mean, like, I love, there's a lot of things I love, first of all, 10 years is an it's like a lifetime, in a in a business like that. Not everyone makes it to 10 years. So congratulations. That's humongous. (Whitney: Thank you.) but also, what an interesting 10 years it's been to be in the PR industry. And like I imagine the things you guys have had evolved to do because PR has changed so much. And just these last 10 years, you know, going from like doing the, you know, death sides and all the different things with the magazines to actually like we can create our own PR without using any of these outlets. So what muscle you had to learn?Whitney Lee 4:05  Oh my gosh, well, you know, I always say like, you know, some people go to school to become this or you know, like a nurse or this or that. And once they learn the skill, they have it forever, right. But like, this is the one job that I see that like, if you don't continue to learn, like you'll literally be out of date in three months, and you'll just be clueless. So it's like continually pushing us to like learn new stuff and to stay on the edge of everything. But I mean, that's what makes it fun, right?Lesley Logan 4:32  Yeah, yeah. And I think like, what you just said, might someone be like, Oh, my God, you're right. If I don't do this, in three months, I don't even know how to use that app anymore. And it's like, what's so great is you're like, hi, we actually will tell you if you need to use that app. We we've done the stress for you.Whitney Lee 4:48  Yep, and half the time that's what we see is like people that are doing all the things but they're just in the wrong places. It's always one of two things like they're either putting their message out in the wrong place and they're actual their people aren't in that in that zone like you're, you're doing, you know, social media, but you're, you know, Avatar is a 65-year-old man. Okay? You missed the mark. So they're either in the wrong place, or they're just saying the wrong thing. And people aren't clear on what they do or what they serve. You know how they serve some. Lesley Logan 5:17  Oh my god. Okay, so yes, I love we just dove right in. So I want to highlight it's true, a lot of people are in the wrong place for the person to hear them. Or they're in the right place, but their messaging is wrong. So half, I guess, like, how, how do people the obvious thing is like, just go where people are, but like, how do you have to, how do you find where people are? Like that's so people, it seems like people are everywhere, and everyone's on Tiktok, but actually Tiktok is not for everybody business to be on, like, let's just be real. So like, how do you find out where people are?Whitney Lee 5:50  Oh, my gosh, well, I think it just comes down to like, being really clear on who you serve, you know, if you serve moms that are between the ages of 30 and 45. Like there's so many demographic information out there that can tell you like where those women are, you know, and also like, I'm a huge believer in just asking people, like, you know, asking the people that you're already serving, like, how they heard about you where they found you, sometimes it is literally that simple. I think I just tell people, I'm like, you have to remember that, like, customers, and consumers don't think the way we do as like marketing and PR people. For example, like we used to have a functional medicine practice. And people would go in and we train their front desk, people to say, How did you hear about us? And all the people would always say, Oh, well, Google, Google's had heard about you. But that's not necessarily true. What it is, is that they saw the billboard, they saw a social media ad, and then they Googled to get the phone number or the address in their mind. Oh, I found you on Google, because they found your phone number on Google, but they didn't. What we're trying to get to the bottom of is like, where did you first hear that we existed? You know, like, where all of a sudden, did you hear about us originally? Not where did you get my phone number or my address? Yeah. Did you originally hear from me? It was at a friend that told you about it? Did you see my billboard? And then Google me like sometimes it's kind of hard to get into the brain of a consumer.Lesley Logan 7:19  Yeah. You that's, I mean, like, first of all, I love that you're just like, I just ask people like, it's, it's that simple. But also like, really making sure the question is very specific, like, where did you first hear about me? You know, that actually, like, I was like, we were doing all this stuff. Just trying to get more people to hear about our online membership for Pilates and everything. And finally, I was just like, everyone just finds us on YouTube. What are we doing on YouTube to make it actually better? Because if everyone's following us on YouTube, and then they're somehow making their way to Instagram, and then they're somehow making the way the list? What if we just like shorten that up? So we've made YouTube our bigger focus versus like, other any other social media platform, they're there. They like, definitely highlight the experience in there and additive there. But like, it's like doubling down on where people actually find you. The first time is going to be for us, I think, the most effective use of our time. Whitney Lee 8:12  Well, and I would love to know, well, here's the kicker, too. If someone truly did find us on Google or find you on YouTube, I would say what did you search? (Lesley: Ooh, yeah) that is kind of the key. And then they're like, Oh, well, I was searching like, I was looking for this one Pilates machine. Or I you know, I went to a class and I didn't understand this machine. So I got on YouTube and typed in reformer. And then you'll start to learn like, what are the words? What are the words? Lesley Logan 8:39  Oh my gosh. Whitney, how did you even get started in PR because everyone's gonna kind of like people love to know like, what's the journey? Like, were you like growing up? Like, oh my god, I'm gonna be Emily in Paris or Okay, so but like, what was the, what was the step? What was the journey?Whitney Lee 8:59  I'm about to go throwback here for a moment before Emily in Paris was even born, okay. We were all watching Sex in the City, right, in like the 90s. And they are like (Lesley: Oh my God, yes. Kim Cattrall's character.) Yeah, of course. Yeah. Samantha had her own PR agency. And it's so funny because I say like, that's what people think we do all day. Like, I just wear these fancy bright colored fun business suits. And I just flood around town and drink martinis. And I go to parties every night and I just meet people and that's my job. Like, people think that's legitimately what PR people do. No, honestly, like, I really don't know how I got into PR specifically, I went to school for communication because it was really broad. And I was like, I know I could take that and do that with a lot of things. People used to tell me all the time that I should be like a news girl. (Lesley: I could see that.) What's funny is I ended up I did end up hosting my own show like my own, like local news show for several years, but it, so I got into communication because I really didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. And it just kind of spiraled. Actually I went, I did grad school I did undergrad at Southern Miss. And then I did grad school at Florida State and one of my professors, he was a PR consultant and like, his clients were like Cindy Crawford. And, I mean, he was like, 70 years old at the time. So like, and also I was in grad school, like over 10 years ago. So he's much older. But he represented Cindy Crawford, that was like his biggest client. And he uses, he opened my eyes to what the heck a consultant was. And I was like, that's so cool. Just the idea that he had all these different clients. So one day, he's talking literally about Xerox machines, and helping Xerox get their name out there. And then the next day, he's dealing with Cindy Crawford, you know, like, it was just so interesting. I know, right? It was just so interesting to me that like, you didn't just go to a desk and sit there all day and like, crunch out, you know, information. So after grad school, I got my start in the hotel world. And that's really honestly kind of where the agency leans most now is like, just from my connections in that world, as a lot of hospitality clients, a lot of people think hospitality and they think hotels, but like, it's a lot of food and beverage. So we have like a group of Indian restaurants. We have a chain of burger joints, we have several different hotels, we have a huge shopping center. You know, and we also have a medical marijuana practice. So like, it's pretty interesting. We're I, you know, for the most part, we have a lot of hospitality clients, but we do have, you know, a few other, you know, we've done retail, like clothing lines and things like that. So it's really fun. And every day is different.Lesley Logan 11:45  Yeah, like, there's not a day that's the same. So yeah, maybe sometimes you're at an event living your Samantha life, but most of the time, you're like in an office, trying to help people get their message out there. That's really what Whitney Lee 11:57  Yeah. And really, like I said, you know, people think of PR, and they like don't even get it. They think it's like, Samantha out giggling and drinking martinis. But the whole if I had to sum it down into one word, like PR is visibility. (Lesley: Yeah.) Like, how do you get your name out there in a creative way, and get it to the right people with the right message. And, and people always think that marketing and PR are the same thing. They're totally not. (Lesley: Right.) Like marketing, the point, the goal of marketing is sales, the goal of PR, is visibility, more followers, you know, like, more clicks more, you know, that's the point of PR. So I have to tell all of our clients coming into it. Like, you're not sometimes you're not going to be able to equate, like, Oh, we got a feature on the Today's Show. And then you're not going to overnight, sell a million dollars worth of products, like, sometimes that will happen and we've had that happen for clients, not necessarily to the date. That's Today's Show. But the whole point of PR is to consistently stay out there in the right light, you know.Lesley Logan 13:06  Well, like, you're right. So like, I got, I got a call in 2013. It was like, hey, congratulations, your Los Angeles best Pilates instructor for LA magazine. Like we we chose you. And I was like, Oh, I thought people paid for that. I thought someone's be our first and got them that gig. And they're like, no, no, you you're it so we're gonna put you in this thing it's in the best best issued cup of this party was so fun. And I had people go oh my god, you're in yet so many clients from this you guys. I'm gonna tell you right now. I got zero. I got no client, however, but you know of that I know that I know of. You're right. You're absolutely right. However, I do know that I got to say last I'm like, I'm best voted Best Pilates instructor in Los Angeles by the LA magazine, the PR that came from that the the there's like notoriety. There's some there's some stuff that we can use from that. But it wasn't it's not like the marketing that I do where like we actually like I intentionally promoted my classes, you know, where that would be the difference? In the two things right there. So I, I guess I want to know, I'm very curious. Because it takes a special person to do a job, where every day is different. And everything that you do, doesn't exactly like always look like what you did here, equated to this over here. So you show up every day, and do this amazing, very essential job for people knowing that like you're kind of having to sell yourself to them all the time. Because for especially for a small business, it's not it's a lot of money for them to consider. Like I wanted to hear this answer just because I think a lot of people don't realize like everything that we do is like selling our dream to the people that are around us. So um, you have a very unique job or you have to do this all the time.Whitney Lee 14:53  Yeah, and it's just always being creative. So I think you just have to what I remind our clients is like we call them benchmarks, right? Like in in marketing, it's like your benchmark is like, how many click throughs did you get how many sales? Did you get? What was your return on investment? Like, how much did you spend on the ad versus what did you sell in advance? Or what did you sell, but PR, I think we just have to create different goals and stay on, on track that, like the goals for PR are just different. You know, the goal is to establish yourself as an expert, right? That's what that that award did for you. It's an immediate, like, people are like, wow, I'll give you an example. So we're working with an international client that sells I would say like party supplies for the most part, so they have like party and like they sell like gift bags and and notebooks and markers and pens and things like that to like Joanne and Michaels. So their social media and PR, our goal is not to sell more markers. Our goal is to get their name out so much that the buyers for those companies are like, whoa, have you heard of those new glitter pens? Like they're everywhere, they're listed here, they're listed there this influencer's using them, like we need these glitter pens in our store. So like, it's a totally different, you know, like, not a single one of our social media posts is going to be like, buy this pen now. Link in bio. No, the whole point of it is to elevate and get people talking about that product so much that the buyers at Michaels, the buyers at Hobby Lobby are like oh my god, I keep seeing this stuff everywhere. We have to sell these, we have to sell these.Lesley Logan 16:39  Right because like, I mean before the pandemic I used to hear would take seven to 17 touchpoints before anyone click on anything. So now that's like probably, it's probably like 35 So you're like just like being everywhere, omnipresent with a product or a mission or a restaurant so that people go oh, that thing I need to have that thing. Let's go get that that thing.Whitney Lee 16:59  I've or it's like a qualifier. You know, like when somebody thinks about your business or whatever, they go scope you out, right? That's the first thing you do is like when someone hears about something, they Google it, and they're like, Okay, I just need to scope this, this brand or this business out. So they probably Googled you and they're like, damn, okay, she was LA's top, she was L.A. what was it?Lesley Logan 17:20  L.A.'s Best Pilates instructor in Los Angeles. Whitney Lee 17:22  Yeah, she was L.A.'s Best Pilates Instructor and immediately in their brain, you are legitimate. Yeah, whether what's sad and some of it you have to be careful because some of this PR stuff can be totally fake, is that somebody could pay for an award like that, that unfortunately, that does exist. But it's an immediate qualifier in that person's brain, whether they know if you paid for it or not. You know, they're the immediate qualifier is like, she's legit. You know, and so that's a lot of, you know, PR's like reputation, visibility. Okay, I haven't heard another so partnerships and sponsorships. We do a lot of this. I saw recently. Okay, so Skims has bathing suits, right, anybody who's out there listening, Kim Kardashian's brand Skims, they do bathing suits, and they just did a partnership with Body Glove if anybody remembers Body Glove from the 90s remember the baby suit brand that has a zipper all the way (Lesley: Yes, yes.) So the body gland body glove has kind of been out for a while right? It was a thing in the 90s and it was cool back then. But it's not really super relevant now. Well, whoever is their freakin PR person is a genius because they went to Skims they got a partnership with skims skins is all hot now. And I guarantee Body Glove is going to be a thing again now. It's like this whole partnership is blowing up they did a collab and now it's like Body Glove suddenly is back on the scene. (Lesley: Yeah) and I guarantee their whole brand is about to be revived. Just thanks to like this collab that they did you know. Lesley Logan 18:56  So and so I love this because the what you're you keep focusing on is like, being out in front of the people with the with the with with what you're doing and not trying to sell to them just trying to be like show almost like show off like show off how these glitter pens work like show like, oh, look (Whitney: Show who they are.) Look how cool Body Glove is. They're friends with Skims, you know, like that kind of a thing. So, I guess I want to say like, I talk a lot about collaborating. When we business coach. I'm like, just like you've guys have no idea how many clients I got by teaching at NARS. Like, who would have thought NARS NARS big makeup company like oh, yeah, you can come teach Pilates in our store. But we did I did it all the time was so much fun. And because my clients while I was like my, my client, my lady, she wears makeup like, right like she's gonna be at the cool place. So how do you work with? How do you consider like, who to collaborate with? Is it always like who's the hottest on the market? Or is it more like what's what are you guys? What's the criteria you look at to make sure someone's a good partner?Whitney Lee 19:59  Exactly what you just said, so like, you know who your woman is so well, right? You know, the woman that's doing Pilates. And you also know that she's a makeup girl, you know, she's probably also a hair girl and a nails girl, like, you know, you know who your person is. And all you have to do is find other brands that they are that mean, that's like literally a perfect example and other brands and other products or other services that aren't competitive to you necessarily. But you know that that person also uses that, you know, so like, gosh, if I was Lululemon, I would be out partnering with some mom brand, every mom, you know, they're all wearing Lululemon, you know, like, go out and partner with some mom brand of anything. I mean, I'm not a mom. So I don't really necessarily know all the brands and businesses that moms use, but done that that's a great partnership right there. So I think it just goes back to like being clear, really clear on who your person is. And not just how they use your product, but the other things, the other aspects of their life. And then you hit them in those other angles. And just like you said, it's so key is like, it's not all people don't want to be sold stuff all the time. Just show up and serve. And, and let them meet you and see who you are and see your personality and see what you stand for. And the people that align with that will immediately be drawn to you. And I guarantee they'll be even more drawn to you by the fact that you didn't try to cram something down their throat.Lesley Logan 21:31  Yeah. So something that I I'm, I know that like some of our listeners, we think it's like, yeah, I get that guys, but like, I'm, I don't know that what makes me like uniquely different like we have, there's this thing about our women, a lot of women, they have a hard time identifying their unique differences. Is this something that you talk about with the businesses that you work with? Like, are there key? Are there things that you look at? You're like that makes you different than you know what you can't read the label inside the bottle, so you can be a fairly confident person and still go. I don't like to be different from these people over here.Whitney Lee 22:03  Yeah, I don't know if you are the one who taught me that saying I literally said that on another podcast like a week ago about like, you can't see the label inside the bottle. And they were like, That's genius. And I was like, I can't take credit for that because someone else told me that. So I don't know if it was you. Lesley Logan 22:19  But someone definitely told it to me too, because I was probably in a moment where I'm like, I don't understand it like well, you can't read the label inside the bottle. So it's a good saying everyone should like remember it. Whitney Lee 22:29  Yes. And now I totally forgot. So we were talking about Lesley Logan 22:32  Oh, like how to figure out like what makes you uniquely different for the person who's like stuck in the bottle. They're like, also they're like imposter syndrome. They see like these other brands over here like what makes me different than them. It's so funny to me. I'm getting inside my own question, but maybe this will help. In my neighborhood. There are four coffee shops, locally owned coffee shops, four of them. They are two across the street from each other. The other two one is down the street, one block and the othe's around the block. So like to me these four business owners are like there's enough there's enough to go around we can each have a coffee shop and they're all different like one a little bit more Cuban one definitely is like a bit more like a like a Dunkin Donuts it's a little clinical and there it's like not super exciting. Then there's one that like they are their signature latte is cardamom or the other one. The signature latte is Rosemary. Right? It's very strange. One is very hip to working. So like they eat for like, how do I be uniquely different person we all are? They're all doing lattes. Yeah, but they all are serving a different clientele. One is very hipster. One is very punk. One is very businesslike. Right. So I think that that's really easy. They can totally highlight who they were talking to. But when I work with people who work for themselves, they are their own business, I find that the hardest thing to get them to understand is that there's a unique difference to them. Because it's all like they it's almost like they're bragging or something like art, something like that. So I'm just wondering, like, how do you highlight? Or how do you figure out what that is to highlight with this with someone? Whitney Lee 24:00  Yeah, and you know what we talked about this sometimes in brandbuilders group too of like, I'm not the first PR person to ever exist. But there's something different about the way that I deliver it, or there's something different about my personality or my angle or my way of thinking I watch Shark Tank all the time. I'm such a nerd. It's just so interesting to me. And I felt like I learned so much about business. So Mark Cuban used to say like you're either the first, you're the best, or you're different. So am I the first PR person? No, not never. Am I the best? Well, of course we all think we're the best and unless you have an award, you know, if you have an award, definitely put that out there to show you're the best but if you're different, how do you portray that you're different and I think even some of that can go back to like talking to the people that you serve now. Like what made you pick me over some other PR person or you know, and also just really getting to know like what is your superpower? You know? So for me, what I like recognizes is that I think my superpower is like taking things that are really complicated. And making it super approachable and easy for people to understand. You know, even like when I spoke at She Who Wins, like, when I speak in front of people, it's not my, my goal was not to make everybody in the crowd think I'm smart, Ooh, hoo, cool. My goal is for everyone in the audience to like, walk away with something that they're like, Wow, I can actually do this or like, Wow, it's really not that complicated. So I would say that my superpower, again, there are so many great publicists out there. But I have such a good way of making things so simple for people where they don't feel stupid, they don't feel overwhelmed. They know exactly what the point is. And it's simple to them. So you know, again, sometimes it's not always the service that you're doing is different. It's your way of thinking about it, or your way of delivering it is different to people. And some people just jive. You know, like, you know, some people meet me and my personality, either totally jives with them, or it totally is like, not their thing, you know, and sometimes it just boils down to like personality and connection. Lesley Logan 26:14  Yeah. I really like that you broke down like you're the first year the best or you're different. I think like that is that's an I've really highlighted because like, not the first place instructor. Yes, I was the best in L.A. for who they and I did not buy that. I was like, I really did think that people like pay for those things. And that issue, maybe people do, but they actually did come to my class. I looked at my receipt and was like, Oh, this is the person. Okay. I saw the email. I was like, ah, but I'm not. So yes, maybe voted the best. But like, I'm a classical Pilates instructor, which means I teach the same exercise, it just applies to it. So here like, I like how do I differentiate myself, in a world where like, I literally am teaching the same thing that someone has been doing for for a century, right? So so so I, you know, in our companies, we make things colorful, we're very much about being not being perfect. And then we use, we use like, 80s, 90s stuff, like we make ourselves extremely different than what was perceived for the longest time. It's like a classical Pilates world, which is like everyone wears all black. Everyone's a dancer. Yeah, no offense to the dancers, or people who wear all black, it's totally fine. You can be different that way. But for us, it's how we differentiate ourselves. Because it was the only way to stand out in a market where like, there's people who like, clearly have been teaching this for 30, 40 years, so I'm not gonna ever I can't compete with that.Whitney Lee 27:37  Yeah, yeah. And you're not the most experienced, you're, you know, and sometimes it also comes down to like, the way you package or price things. It's hard. Sometimes it's hard for me to like make generalities, because we don't know the people listening to this about like, what business and industry they're in. But sometimes it can be the pricing, maybe you are the most luxurious and the most expensive, you know, or maybe you are the most cost effective. Or maybe you don't make people commit to X amount of time. Maybe you I mean, there's like so many different differentiators. So I think, you know, I think it's people have mixed feelings about looking at their competitors. And I don't say to look at them to spy on them or copy them, but look at them to see how they're structuring things and to see you something many times you will immediately see how you are different than them just by looking at what other people in the industry do.Lesley Logan 28:28  Yeah, well, I mean, like, if you look at Dry Bar, right? In the industry, she was in, everyone went for a cut, color and a blowout, like you didn't just go for a blowout. So she's like, well, we're just gonna do blowouts, like, that's all we're gonna do. Like she differentiated in that way. There's like places where normally people have to do memberships. So there's been businesses where they differentiate, like, you don't have to do a membership, you can pay a drop it like we that's how we're different. So I think it is like looking at them to understand what they're doing. And then figure out like, how you how what you the way you offer it, the way you package it, like you said, is the most unique thing. And then, and then like what we hear from our coach would be (inaudible) deal it's like and then exploit that in the goodness of others.Whitney Lee 29:05  Yeah, exploit it and talk about it and share it because to someone out there, that is a different that is a defining factor, or that is something that's going to cause them to take action. Lesley Logan 29:18  Yeah. Yeah. So Okay. Um, when you were starting your own PR company, which is a very big deal, like, I mean, it's not the easiest thing to start your own company. Was, was there ever. Was there anything that you had to like, tell yourself or is there anything that you did to like, make it easier for you to show up every day and be new at something like how it was the beginning days, 10 years ago for you?Whitney Lee 29:40  Oh, my gosh, I remember making my own website, and I felt so dumb. And I was like, oh my god, this is so homemade. You know, we're very critical of everything we do ourselves. I was also really young. I was in my 20s. And I remember going to like chamber events and young professional events and people would ask me what I would do and I felt so stupid, saying like, Oh, I'm Whitney and I do PR. Like, I had to, like train myself with my little elevator speech. And I used to tell myself all the time, like, people my age were like, oh, cool, okay, you're trying to do your own thing cute. But people like older people, I kept telling myself like, they don't take me seriously. Like, and sometimes it was because the things that people would say to me like, Oh, you have your own company. That's so cute, like a little Facebook company. Or people would call me like, Oh, she's a little Facebook girl. That's a, that's what she does. And I'm like, No, that's not at all. I mean, that's a part of what we do is social media strategy, but like, don't call me the Facebook girl, you know, like, but over time, like I just my, like, impostor syndrome for a while, would like tell me like, people don't take me seriously, because I'm in my 20s. Like, someone for some reason I thought someone in their 20s can't own their own business. So when I turned 30, I finally was like, Yeah, people are gonna, like, respect me now. And like,Lesley Logan 31:06  That's funny the stories we tell us now that I'm 30. Now they'll respect my business. Change overnight. Whitney Lee 31:12  Yeah, suddenly, I'm 30. So I'm legit, like, but also like, I needed to look back because they were hiring me in my 20s. So obviously, if they signed a contract with me and gave me money, they took me seriously, right? So I always tell people, you got to, like get out of a space of like, operating based off your feelings all the time. And you just got to look at the facts, you know. And, I mean, I'm not saying not to have fields and all that kind of stuff. But like, especially as women, we most women operate based off of emotion and how they're feeling that day. And I am kind of a little bit of the opposite. And the fact that like, when I think or feel something, I immediately start looking for facts to prove or disprove what's happening in my brain. You know, and I just was grasping, yeah, I try to grasp on to the facts instead of feelings, because we're gonna have all kinds of feelings, I'm feeling hungry, I'm feeling tired, I'm feeling jacked up from all this caffeine I just had, all those are just feelings, and those are going to go away within a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, or whatever. But like facts are facts. So you've got to and I even say this about the business, like we don't operate our strategies, we don't come up with strategies off of feelings. Like I feel like this is a good idea for you to do this partnership. No, I look at the facts of like, who is their audience? Who is their database reaching? Oh, their database is reaching women that do this, this and this perfect that that is a good partnership. So like, we gotta get out of the space of like, get out of our head sometimes and stop operating off of feelings. And like, sometimes we'll come up with facts. Those aren't facts, you know what I mean? Like, look for the true facts. And and you got to, you know, just be self-conscious, aware, you gotta be aware of your thoughts enough to know that they're just thoughts.Lesley Logan 33:05  Yeah, I really, really love what you said there. I think, like, rewind, and listen to that again, like, because I do, I think, like, obviously, there's gut instinct, or there's like this intuition. That's really amazing. But especially if your feelings are like, Oh my god, I'm not good at this. It's like, hold up, now you're gonna start making posts, or you're gonna start doing this, or you're not gonna do anything at all based on this feeling. And your business is going to suffer or you're going to attract different people than you want it because you use your feeling instead of going. Actually, fact are even when I was 20, and feeling impostor syndrome, people are giving me money. So I must have been pretty fucking good. Because people did that. So I can't go off of the feeling like, Oh, I'm just this 20 something PR person, I have to go off of the fact that like, no people paid me to do it. So I was good. You know, so I really liked that. Because I always have this Fuck Yeah Friday thing where like, here at the podcast, I share people's wins. And then I share a win of my own, and I would love people to have a Fuck Yeah every day. Maybe we'll make a journal everyone because I think if you like put your wins of the day in, right you like actually keep track of things. You have facts to go back upon. When you're having those feelings like this isn't working, nothing's working. I actually go back and look like I look at our analytics for the website, traffic every week. I look at our analytics of newsletter open rates and click rates every week. Whitney Lee 34:25  I am so proud of you. That's like stuff we beg our clients to look at. We're like look at these really cool numbers. And they're likeLesley Logan 34:31  I couldn't stop myself from looking right away. Because I'm like, we drop a new YouTube video and I'm like, Hold on how many? It's like, no, gotta let it do the 24-hour thing. You gotta wait a second. But like, I do look at those things because it is the only way to combat the feelings because on any given moment of the day, do you work as a human being who's not a narcissist. I'm going to have a moment I'm like, nothing's working. Nothing is working. This isn't working. It's like well actually, no, all of these things are working. Look at the look at these stats right here. And also, if one of those stats was low, the open rates would have dropped down. Okay? What happened? When did they start dropping off? What did we do? What? Like, what what did we do before that could work? Because I have the facts. So I don't have to let the emotions I'm feeling like nothing is working. Rule of the business, nobody, we wouldn't be able to keep a team if my feelings ran this business.Whitney Lee 35:20  Exactly. And that's why, like, you know, it's like, I think the worst thing you can do is just to hide from it. You know, like, whenever I go on vacation, and I come back, like, I will not get on the scale, because I'm like, Oh, I feel disgusting. Until a few days later, when I can, like detox it out. But like, sometimes it's good to just know the truth and be like, hey, our email rate is dropping, and like, what can we do to fix this? Rather than like, being so fearful of looking at the number because you don't want to see the hard truth? Like, it's okay. Like, put on your big girl panties? Like, look at the hard truth. And, and then that's when you can actually figure out a way forward.Lesley Logan 35:57  Yeah. Yeah, I think it's like, yeah, there are there. Like the days we were like, I don't wanna look at the bank account, because I just went shopping.Whitney Lee 36:04  Oh, my God, yes. That's a better example of the scale. When you're like, What is my statement balance gonna be today?Lesley Logan 36:12  That was, that was less than I calculated. But like, when you are aware of these things you can actually make, you can actually make decisions. This morning, the time of recording this, we had a team meeting. And our team is all around the world. So we had to do at 6am. And I'm like I'm doing on the dogwalk guys, because like, I can't sit in front of a computer at six in the morning. That is, like, if we're going to interrupt my morning routine, I gotta be on my morning routine. So we're doing this walk. And it was so much easier to have a team meeting, knowing. In the past last time around this event, here are the mistakes that we notated that we made that we want to fix for the next time. Here are the ideas we had last time here, like all this information, is it's just it's key data that allows us to make the decision like these are I mean, it's a guessing game, we are guessing that these are the best dates to open cart for earlybird. We are guessing that this is the best time to do this thing, even though it's a holiday in the middle of that, like, it's all guessing. But based on data from the past, we know people will open up these emails at least 60% of the time we know these things. So we can make those decisions and not feel like I hope it works.Whitney Lee 37:19  Oh my gosh, well, you know, I tell our clients that too that like not every single thing we do just because we're experts, not every single thing we do works perfectly on the first try. Hello, I jokingly say like we're like little scientists, like we make a hypothesis based off of our education and our experience. And then we try out the hypothesis. And then we see what happens and we tweak from there. You know, like, it's okay, if everything you do, it's not going to I'm going to go ahead and make that like clear statement, not everything you do is going to work on the first try. And most the time, it's not going to work on the first try. But the difference is they're just people who push through and keep trying. Whereas other people just throw their hands in the air and say like, This must not be a fit for me. This must not be it.Lesley Logan 38:03  Yeah, you're so right. Also, if it works on the first try, you actually don't really it's kind of hard to to recreate that sometimes it's a little easier if it works. Okay, like our first launch with our coaching program. It was it was it was great. It was great for us we'd like had the biggest launch we've ever had. It was if we did those numbers today, I think we'd cry but like, it was, it was it was good. And we're like, Okay, our mutual friend Keri, she's like, You guys should do that thing again. So we did it again. And it tripled, right? Because we had information from the first time to like, oh, okay, we did this last time. Are there tweaks I want to make? Okay, let's do let's oh, let's do these things. Let's pull, let's pull the dial on this a little sooner. Let's, this probably didn't do anything. And we had a survey as well. Like you said earlier, ask questions. We had a survey. So we did it again. The third time we did it, it did not go well. And we're like, oh, well, what was what was different about this third time? And what we it's an experiment all we could really actually figure out like we did in the summer. Like yeah, that's (Whitney: I was just about to say timing) timing. Like, we didn't mess up our thing, which is like hard for people who are small business owners who have kids and most of the people in our industry have a family for them to get away from for a week. They might be on a holiday that week, right? Like so. So it's like when you repeat things, you're able to really understand what worked what didn't work. And like again, you're right when some if something didn't work, if we guess like if we had this goal of like 50 grand on time one and we only did the money we did. We've been like up that didn't work. It's like well, actually, it how do you know it didn't work? It's until you try it again. So I think that it's true. Like you can't just give up and try new things all the time because you just won't actually know.Whitney Lee 39:45  Yeah, and you also have to just change just a little bit like you have to. It is literally like a scientific experiment. If you change like six different things and something different happens the second time you're not going to know which one of those six things made the difference. You are like you got to have a control.Lesley Logan 40:00  Yes, yes, yes, I mean, so true. It's the same thing like when I teach people a Pilates session like, I'm not going to give you an entirely new session the next time because if you tell me Oh, I like hurt here or actually has a little more sore here, I'm not going to what? I'm not going to know what was what was the thing was different. But if I only added five new exercises and go, Okay, well, there's only five different ones that we did. So like, let's look at these five, it makes it so much easier. Oh my god, we can just keep going. I fucking love you.Whitney Lee 40:25  Like, we're talking about PR, but we're also talking about science and neuro pathways. And I think there's a lot of science and, and a lot of psychology, I have people on my team that have a degree in psychology because it is very much so a psychology of like, how to get into someone's, you know, life and brain and, and speak to them and what, what motivates people to do what you know, so like, there's a lot of psychology to it, which is why I always say like, PR is not hard. It's not it's not freakin rocket science. Anybody can do it, anybody can. But the differences is like, just A) connections and relationships go a long, long way. And B) that just the repetitive of trying and failing, trying and succeeding, like, you know, that's the world of PR.Lesley Logan 41:18  Okay, we're gonna have to have you back at some point to just talk more, because you're just a brilliant wealth of knowledge. Maybe we'll have a panel with all the amazing women who've been on the show. (Whitney: That'd be awesome.) So fun. So I want to take a brief moment and have to find out how people can find you follow you work with you and your Be It Action items. Lesley Logan 41:35  Okay, Whitney, where do you like to hang out? Where can people learn more? See if the that's the right fit to work with you or just follow you for amazing advice.Whitney Lee 41:43  Yeah, okay, so um, if you want to find the agency, check out truestorypr.co - not .com -truestorypr.co. Also, we have our own podcast, which you can go and listen to my episode with Lesley, it's True Story the PR Podcast. So it's a cool mixture of just marketing and PR PR advice, but also like hearing people with really cool stories and brands and how they got to where they are today. So check us out on the podcast, you can find True Story on all the social media platforms. But if you want to connect with me personally, on Instagram on The Whitney Lee, T-H-E Whitney Lee, or you can find me on LinkedIn. It's Whitney Lee.Lesley Logan 42:20  I love it. So we'll also put all that in the show notes. We'll to put the episode links on your podcast in the show notes because it's so fun. Okay, you have given us amazing tips already. So so if I would love for the you know, bold, executable, intrinsic target steps people can take to Be It Till You See It. What are some action steps people can take today?Whitney Lee 42:38  Okay, I would definitely say start showing up on social media. I think everybody says that. So that's kind of a lame one. But definitely showing up on social media authentically. Stop it with the overly manicured photos like get in your stories on the daily like, figure out what how you're different and talk about that on social media. It's more about storytelling than anything. Um, action items, I would definitely say talk to the people if you're a business owner, talk to the people that you're already serving. That is probably the number one thing and find out why they chose you where they heard about you all these valuable things. People will absolutely tell you their opinion. You just have to ask and sometimes people tell you before asking but you just have to ask and you have to ask the right questions. So I think some of the most low-hanging fruit is just truly talking to the people that you already serve and the people who love you. So I think that would be number two and number three I would say put yourself out there you know like that is all that PR is like we we send out pitches on pitches on pitches all day for earned media coverage for partnerships for speaking engagements for podcast tours, is you have to just continually put yourself out there because good things will come to you even when you don't even realize what you're what you're gonna generate is just like consistently putting yourself out there so it just depends on your your brand or your business but even if it's reaching out to 10 different podcasts and saying like here's the value I can provide to your audience. It's not about you don't lead into it with I am a best-selling author I am a this I'm a that it's like here's what I can share with your audience. So I always say educate and give without asking for anything in return is the the best angle to go at it. From the get go and it will come back to you. It's a long game. It is not going to be overnight. But it will come back to you.Lesley Logan 44:44  I love all of those Whitney. I again could just talk to you forever. We're gonna have to have a coffee date or a happy hour on Zoom. I miss your face. Guys, how are you going to use these action items in your life? Tag Whitney Lee, checkout True Story Podcast and let us know what your favorite takeaways were, what were the things that inspired you, what got in your head that makes you go oh yeah I mean I love the feeling, I'm so all about that. So, Whitney, thank you so much and everyone else until next time. Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 45:08  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell 45:08  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 45:08  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 45:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 45:08  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 45:08  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Join us on this inspiring journey with our guest, Renee Bauer, as she candidly shares her professional and personal transitions. From being a divorce attorney to a law firm owner, speaker, author, and podcast host, Renee's story is a powerful testament to personal growth and transformation. Her book, She Who Wins, embodies her mission to inspire women to take action, no matter how challenging it might seem. Listen as we delve into her thoughts on empowering women to claim their own victories in life, her experiences as a divorce attorney and the life lessons she has learned from her own divorces.https://www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/https://www.facebook.com/msreneecbauerhttps://twitter.com/msreneebauerhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCttlmwiTWIb2k4bIknwm8uQhttps://msreneebauer.com/Join our exclusive email list and unlock even more valuable insights, expert advice, and bonus content to enhance your relationship superpowers. —sign up HERE today!Connect with Barb BettsInstagram: @barbbettsFacebook: @barbarambettsYouTube: youtube/@barbbettsWebsite: www.barbbetts.comLet's Stay in Touch!https://www.liinks.co/barbbettsBarb Betts is a sought-after keynote speaker, seasoned real estate expert, passionate educator, and the CEO of The RECollective, a thriving boutique brokerage in Southern California. Barb has delighted countless stages including, Inman Connect, WomanUP!, and at the National Association of REALTORS® Annual Conference. Whether she's teaching on referrals, authenticity or leveraging relationships, Barb brings an honest, compassionate, and transparent approach to every single stage. As a real estate professional, with over 20 years experience, Barb has mastered the ever changing real estate landscape and the balance of running a vibrant brokerage. Through her signature course, Real Estate By Relationship®, Barb educates business builders on the exact systems, proc...

We're all looking to win in so many areas of our lives, but it's a challenge to make it all happen. Renowned divorce lawyer, Renee Bauer, is a big advocate of empowering women through divorce and beyond, and her new book "She Who Wins" is full of takeaway advice for women everywhere. It's not a divorce book, but the strategies and tips can be applied as you navigate your divorce and life afterwards. This is a must-listen (and must read!) for anyone! (Guest: Renee Bauer, Divorce Attorney & Author "She Who Wins" https://msreneebauer.com/) Sign up for exEXPERTS in your inbox for weekly updates, events and tips you can't afford to miss! www.exEXPERTS.com. Follow @exEXPERTS on TikTok and Instagram. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/divorceetc/message

Renée Bauer is an attorney, international speaker, accomplished entrepreneur, and personal hype squad for countless women. As the founder of She Who Wins, a business dedicated to helping women crush conventions and live a bold daring life. She hosts live events, Masterminds, and a weekly podcast. Renee has been featured in global media outlets such as the International Business Times, The Washington Newsday, AP News, and iHeart Radio. Being a consummate dreamer and doer, Renee built her law practice Happy Even After Family Law into one of the most recognized and reputable law firms in the state of Connecticut. She earned both Litigator of the Year and Women-Owned Business of the Year awards while also being a changemaker for charitable organizations and a mentor for college women. A former Bostonian, Renee now lives in Connecticut with her big, blended family and rescue pups. She Who Wins on Amazon: https://a.co/d/9dGuLT9 Renee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/freedomwithfoodandfitness/support

Have you ever wanted to release the "good girl" persona and feel free to show up as the multi-dimensional WHOLE human being you are?  Today's guest asked herself the same question...and let me tell you, what she's brought to life on the other side of that has been nothing short of INCREDIBLE.  Renee Bauer is an international speaker, author of 3 other books – Divorce in Connecticut, The Ultimate Guide to Solo and Small Firm Success, and the children's book Percy's Imperfectly Perfect Family. She hosts the annual She Who Wins Summit, a live event created to inspire, motivate and challenge women to move forward bravely in their personal and business lives. Her impact has been recognized by Success Magazine where she was nominated as a Woman of Influence and with awards such as Litigator of the Year, Women-Owned Business of the Year, and New Leaders in the Law. She has been featured in multiple media outlets such as the International Business Times, Comment Central, AP News, NBC, FOX, and iHeart Radio. I can't wait for you to listen!  Links Mentioned:  Purchase your copy of She Who Wins today! Learn more about Renee's work on her website: msreneebauer.com Follow her over on Instagram: @msreneebauer Listen to She Who Wins: The Podcast Purchase your ticket to the IGNITE Your Business Live Retreat! Tag me in your big shifts + takeaways: @amberlilyestrom Did you hear something you loved here today?! Leave a Review + Subscribe via iTunes   

In today's episode Michelle welcomes back divorce author, guest speaker and author, Renée Bauer back to talk about her new book she just released “She Who Wins.” Renée is about empowering women to snap out of victimhood and to ditch their inner good girl to design a life they deserve.  You will learn... -How to stop being a people pleaser,  -How to deal with shame and  - How to deal with rejection  - Renée three steps to design a life to win!  Instagram: @msreneebauer Buy the book "She Who Wins" 

Do you ever find yourself stuck and you can't seem to make a decision? Chances are it happens often and it can impact your business if you don't find ways to help you move forward. In this week's episode, Renee Bauer, shares her Stop, Drop & Roll method that will help you make decisions with confidence and clarity. We also talk about: How divorce led her to entrepreneurship  Navigating self-doubt  Comparison to others and how it effects us What winning feels like for her Plus Renee is giving away a book bundle for the first 5 people who share a message with Renee on Instagram. She will send you a copy of her book: She Who Wins and my book: Why Not You.  Resources Mentioned:  Renee's Book Website: https://shewhowinsbook.com/ Renee's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/   Renee's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/msreneecbauer  All podcast episodes: https://pod.link/1473751874 Amanda's Website: https://www.amandamckinney.com/ Amanda's Coaching Options: https://www.amandamckinney.com/coaching Amanda's Book: https://www.amandamckinney.com/book

Apply to the Girl on Fire mastermind here.   Get your ticket to the NYC Summit here.   Have you ever felt really excited about a big move in your business or your career but then immediately talked yourself out of it? Or maybe you felt super clear and then suddenly felt unsure about whether or not to move forward? In today's episode I'm helping you get out of your own way so you can stop sabotaging your best ideas and start living the life you are meant to live. Today's episode is sponsored by award winning divorce attorney, entrepreneur and recovered good girl, Renee Bauer. Renee was our recent guest on the last episode and she is just FABULOUS. If you are looking for your next book to read - look no further. She Who Wins is Renee's brand new book and it is SO good. This book is for every woman who was told to smile, to quiet down, and to shrink themselves into the smallest version of themselves. Grab your copy here.

In this brand new episode of the Generation Wealth podcast, I interview  Renee Bauer is an experienced divorce attorney, entrepreneur, author and founder of She Who Wins.Throughout this interview,  Renée Bauer and I talk about choosing to stay in or leave a relationship, following your gut feeling and the consequences of disregarding it, women's financial independence, being truthful and overcoming remorse and so much more…Hit that share button to share this episode and don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. I'll see you on the next one!In This Episode, We Talk About:00:00 Intro00:42 Red Flags in Relationships04:17 Embracing Hard Choices in Relationships06:45 Listening to Your Gut Instinct09:30 Fine as a Four-letter Word13:20 What is She Who Wins About?17:15 Why Women Avoid Involvement in Marital Finances20:56 Getting Out of Shame24:41 Releasing Expectations28:42 Having No Regrets30:21 Getting Past Your Own Version of BS33:51 The Definition of WealthConnect With Me:FacebookInstagramLinkedInTwitterTikTokYouTubeSubscribe To The Podcast Here:Apple PodcastsSpotifyYouTubeGet My Online Course Here: https://www.candyvalentino.com/Apply For My Founders Mentorship Group To Get Personalized Guidance To Unlock Your Next Level of Profit, Wealth, Freedom Here: https://foundersorganization.com/Order My #1 Bestselling Book “WEALTH HABITS” Here: https://wealthhabitsbook.com/Connect With Renée Bauer:Website: https://msreneebauer.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rbauer1/Twitter: https://twitter.com/msreneebauerYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/reneebauer

If you've been building your brand for a while, and you have a nagging feeling like – there's something more for me, like you are BURNT OUT on what you've been doing and you're REALLY interested in something else, then this episode is for you.   OR, maybe you just started out and you feel like you chose the wrong niche, or you're going in the wrong direction. Things just don't feel aligned? Then this episode is for you.   Either way, if you are ready to pivot, to expand yourself, and to try something new, then I'm going to share with you 3 tips for a successful (and fun) BRAND PIVOT.   Today's episode is sponsored by award winning divorce attorney, entrepreneur and recovered good girl, Renee Bauer. Renee was our recent guest on the last episode and she is just FABULOUS. If you are looking for your next book to read - look no further. She Who Wins is Renee's brand new book and it is SO good. This book is for every woman who was told to smile, to quiet down, and to shrink themselves into the smallest version of themselves. Grab your copy here.      

Today I have Renee Bauer back on the show - a previous guest that I absolutely adore. Renee's tough love approach to life and love is sure to snap you out of victim mode, help you ditch your inner good girl, and finally start designing the life you deserve. As a divorce attorney, speaker, and author, Renee helps women overcome uncertainty, let go of unhealthy relationships, and step into their power. Pour a glass of wine and get ready to get your butt kicked in the best way! Pre-order Renee's book, She Who Wins, here. Be sure to send me a DM @TheChampagneDiet and let me know your biggest takeaway from this episode to be entered to win a deck of Renee's affirmation cards!

On this episode of TIWW, we're going to talk about ditching your inner “good girl” as well as some other uncomfortable truths that are holding us back from truly winning in life. Here to help us do that is Renee Bauer, Founder and Managing Attorney of “Happy Even After” Family Law, an international speaker, and author of 5 books, including her new book that's about to be released and is already a bestseller “She Who Wins” (described as an ANTI-rule book, which you know I love). She hosts the She Who Wins podcast as well as the She Who Wins Annual Summit, a live event created to inspire, motivate and challenge women to move forward bravely in their personal and business lives. Clearly, Renee is committed to getting more women to WIN, and I'm here for it. Renee says this: There is a fierce woman fighting to get out. She is YOU. For every woman who was told to smile, to quiet down, and to shrink themselves into the smallest version of themselves. For every woman who is struggling to make a life-altering decision or wondering “what's next”. For every woman who thinks this is as good as it gets. For every woman who has felt like there has to be more. For every woman who feels like she doesn't have a right to complain or who feels selfish for even questioning her happiness. There's a good girl within who is READY to become that fierce woman who's fighting to get out. To connect with Renee: Website: https://msreneebauer.com IG: @msreneebauer  Book: https://shewhowinsbook.com To join Nicole's pod (to get all the inside scoops, free stuff, and the occasional rant), click here

Avoiding some tough conversations? Let's get you the tools, approach, words, and mindset needed to confidently address the most challenging topics. Joined by guest Renee Bauer, an experienced divorce attorney and speaker, we help you tackle soured friendships, support loved ones in abusive relationships, talk to aging parents about finances, and face marital difficulties with grace and strength. Timestamps:[00:02:54] Tough conversations. [00:06:09] Unlearning cultural expectations[00:09:43] Not every relationship needs saving[00:11:38] Feeling worthy and taking action[00:15:08] Handling conflict and name calling[00:19:05] Recategorizing friendships[00:23:15] Protecting yourself and setting boundaries[00:25:17] Boundaries and self-care[00:29:29] Tough conversations and family dynamics[00:32:11] Confronting mental illness or substance abuse[00:35:07] Lessons from past relationships[00:39:31] Choosing happiness after divorce[00:43:08] Surprisingly True Useful Fun Fact #2Renee Bauer's Contact:WebsiteIGReferences mentioned:BOLD Challenge - 4 days, 4 prompts, FREE, and effectiveGet on my email list for series on time, energy, and relationshipsEffective Collective - Mastermind for overfunctioning/high-performing mothers to go from over-functioning to audaciously alignedLowering blood pressureRoad trips and snacking studyALLISON HARE'S LINKS:EFFECTIVE COLLECTIVE MOTHER MASTERMIND: Schedule a free exploratory call here.AllisonHare.com - Late Learner Podcast, personal journal and blog, danceInstagram - Steps to heal yourself, move society forward, and slinging memes and dancing (seriously, Allison is also a dance fitness instructor)Late Learner IGYouTube ChannelBlog - quick, way more personal, deeper topics - make sure to subscribeTikTok - documenting my journey one lo-fi video at a timeReb3l Dance Fitness - Try it at home! Free month with this link.Personal Brand - need help building yours? Schedule a call with me here and let's discuss.Feedback and Contact:: allison@allisonhare.com

Welcome to the SYNC Your Life podcast episode #153! On this podcast, we will be diving into all things women's hormones to help you learn how to live in alignment with your female physiology. Too many women are living with their check engine lights flashing. You know you feel "off" but no matter what you do, you can't seem to have the energy, or lose the weight, or feel your best. This podcast exists to shed light on the important topic of healthy hormones and cycle syncing, to help you gain maximum energy in your life.  In today's episode, I'm interviewing Renee Bauer, Divorce Attorney and Amazon #1 bestselling author of "She Who Wins." We talk about what it looks like to stay comfortable in a relationship and what most women are afraid of when it comes to leaving toxic relationships, whether marital or friendship.  Renee has been a divorce attorney for 20 years, and is the Founder and Managing Attorney of Happy Even After Law located in Connecticut. She is an international speaker, author of 3 other books – Divorce in Connecticut, The Ultimate Guide to Solo and Small Firm Success, and the children's book Percy's Imperfectly Perfect Family. She hosts the annual She Who Wins Summit, a live event created to inspire, motivate and challenge women to move forward bravely in their personal and business lives. Her impact has been recognized by Success Magazine where she was nominated as a Woman of Influence and with awards such as Litigator of the Year, Women-Owned Business of the Year, and New Leaders in the Law. She has been featured in multiple media outlets such as the International Business Times, Comment Central, AP News, NBC, FOX, and iHeart Radio. You can find her book, "She Who Wins," here. You can follow her on social media here. If you feel like something is "off" with your hormones, check out the FREE hormone imbalance quiz at sync.jennyswisher.com.  To learn more about the SYNC Digital Course, check out jennyswisher.com.  Let's be friends outside of the podcast! Send me a message or schedule a call so I can get to know you better. You can reach out at https://jennyswisher.com/contact-2/. Enjoy the show! Episode Webpage: jennyswisher.com/podcast 

Uncover the path to healing in this latest recap episode. Tune in as Lesley and Brad share their advice to navigate divorce with confidence and find your tribe of supportive individuals who will empower you to own your story.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How owning vulnerabilities can be powerful and healing.Embracing your journey and transforming it into a superpower to change lives.Setting intentions to find your tribe and allow conversations to help you process.Why paying attention to your financial situation can be freeing. What being the CFO of your own life truly means.Episode References/Links:Menopocalypse: How I Learned to Thrive During Menopause and How You Can Too by Amanda ThebeShe Who Wins by Renee BauerWorld Reef DayThe Hormone Reset Diet by Sara Gottfried, M.D.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipWaitlist for the flashcards deckUse this link to get your Toe Sox!ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Brad Crowell: [00:00:00] It felt like I was wearing this like monster on my back, right? And, but I was great at hiding it, no? And so it, but it, but it didn't help me process. It didn't help me heal. It didn't help me like experience, engagement with other people with this like, truth out there, right? Because like, I felt like they don't, it's none of their business.They don't need to know, but it just kept eating at me, and it wasn't until I began to share with other people, oh yeah, I've actually been going through like a divorce right now. That, that, that was the beginning of healing for me. Lesley Logan: Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity [00:01:00] and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.​Lesley Logan: Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co-host in life Brad and I are going to dig into the empowering convo I have with Renee Bauer in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, feel free to pause us now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us.And if you're listening on the O P C app, it's very easy. You can see like all like a bunch of recent episodes all at one time. So you can pick and choose however you want. If you're listening on the other places, I don't know how they work, but it's, you know, what you want to listen to Renee's especially if you've ever like felt like, oh my gosh, I'm embarrassed about this past thing I had in my life.I thought it was so Brad Crowell: great. Yeah. Very liberating. And [00:02:00] also I appreciate the experience that she went through and you know what she's, how she's bringing her experience to other people who are suffering and in need. So that was pretty awesome. Lesley Logan: Yeah, and I was just able to see her in real life at her Brad Crowell: event and... yeah, in case you're wondering what we're alluding to, she's a divorce attorney. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Yeah. Brad Crowell: And she's actually gone through divorce herself Lesley Logan: In case you're listening to this out of order. She's like... (Brad: Right) So her book, She Who Wins, which is also the name of her podcast and also the name of her event, comes out this September.You guys, you can pre-order that book right now. And there's like special goodies that happen if you do pre-order the book and the way books go, loves, is, it all matters on the pre-orders now. So everything's always changing. Brad Crowell: Yeah, that's the truth. Um, yeah. Well, let's just jump right into it. Lesley Logan: So today, Yeah! Is National, International Reef Day.It'slike World Reef Day. Brad Crowell: yeah, So, [00:03:00] not that Lesley and I are surfers by any means... (Brad: but no, but you, we need the reefs). We need the reefs. I'm a big fan of keeping plastics out of the ocean, which is an obviously an incredible it's incredible how much plastic is currently in the ocean. In fact, when we were just flying to Korea on the way we stopped over in Honolulu. We had a layover there. Both ways. And I was watching a really fascinating documentary about the native, bringing back the native Hawaiian culture from like thousands of years. And they talked about the pan Pacific, you know, the ocean as if it was like its own continent. And how, you know, thousands of years ago people jumped on canoes and they explored the oceans bythe stars. Like, could youimagine? Oh my gosh. Like the way that [00:04:00] people took a wagon and drove across North America. Wow. No. they were like, we're gonna go that way and hope that we hit land. Lesley Logan: Yeah. And the, and the scars are moving, but that's fine. Brad Crowell: I mean, pretty intense. Anyway, they, they were, they were talking all about the reefs and it really got me fired up about them again. Lesley Logan: So, so y'all get rid of your sunscreen and make sure you have sunscreen that is safe for, well, this is, I guess if you're going to a pool, do whatever you wanna do.But if you're going into natural waters, you're going into the ocean, you must use a special sunscreen. So if you actually go to this World Reef Awareness Days site, they say you can observe this day by doing beach cleanup. You could become a virtual diver. Which I guess you do virtual tours. What, how is that helping anyways? Don't know this is their suggestion. Well, you probably just, I think once you're aware of things, it's hard to like be an asshole.Then you can make yourown sunscreen that's actually really healthy for the reefs. So those are some things you can do. But truly, honestly, like if you can... Brad Crowell: Just roll in mud, that's your sunscreen.Lesley Logan: I think they have bees wax in there, which is [00:05:00] only concerning because of the bees. We have a problem with the bees shortage and then there's a, y'all, there's a lot of stuff going on.Please be kindto the reefs cuz we actually really do support the ocean's microbiology and it actually affects your life in other ways if you don't, if you live near an ocean.So talk like, you know, do the right thing. Call your friend who's going to the beach and make sure they're not using sunscreen that's gonna kill the reefs. Yeah. Anyways, we also have some other stuff going on right now. So, this is coming outJune 1st. We're a couple weeks away of doing a webinar for Profitable Pilates on how to convert first time clients.So if you are a Pilates teacher or trained to be one. You will want to be at this webinar. Agency members, of course, you get the VIP ticket for free. If you're not an agency member, you can buy a ticket to the live. You'll have a three day replay. You can also, there's opportunities to buy a V I P ticket and also get to keep the replay forever, which is waycheaper than buying it when it's a course.So you'll want to actually go to the show notes below to actually sign up for the wait list or to sign up for [00:06:00] the webinar. Brad Crowell: And if you're watching, if you're listening to this after that's already occurred, get on the wait list anyway, because we do these webinars periodically throughout the year. And they're all, they're on these various topics and all stuff, so you'll be the first to know when you're on the wait list.And we give you all sorts of hookups and stuff, so check out the show notes. Yeah. Lesley Logan: And then in July we have the Mullet tour in the northern part of the UK, Claire Sparrow's studio, which we're so excited about.Brad Crowell: Oh, I cannot wait That's exciting. It's gonna be amazing. Lesley Logan: At the time that we're recording this, we only have four spots left. Brad Crowell: Yeah, I know. It's insane. It's awesome. Yeah. It's so exciting. Lesley Logan: Yeah. And it's a really great small group. We're so, so, so excited about it. In August, we are doing our summer tour.We have not released the cities yet, but we'll release so soon. So make sure youstay tuned. Brad Crowell: Yeah. All right. And then we actually, we, you know, you've heard us talk about all, our, all the rest of our plans and all the things, but yeah,summer tour is gonna be superfun and we've got some exciting news about that coming to you soon, with some sponsors and all sorts of stuff [00:07:00] that's kicking off. So it's gonna be great. But before we do that, let's see, we have an audience question today. From Karen Campbell. Thanks for submittingg this question. Karen is saying I'd be interested to see an episodeabout menopause and specifically how to best support health for premenopausal women with herbal remedies. I saw a few episodes in lineup on women's health and maintaining hormonal balance. So maybe this topic's already been covered. If it hasn't been done, could you bring on a specialist to discuss it? Lesley Logan: So we are working on a menopause expert. To be honest, it's actually been a little tricky.Hmm. So we are working on getting an actual expert just in menopause. So we have, thank you, Karen, for bringing this up. But here's the other thing about pre-menopause and all this stuff. It's so different for every single person. Like it is so different. So here are some, some places you can go for some more information for you right now until you wait.I don't want you to wait for this advice. So here's the thing, there's a book called Menopocalypse. Yes. I'm [00:08:00] trying if you know the author of Menopocalypse everyone. I would like her on the show if she's listening to this, if she's to Google alert, hello, I want you on the show. The book is called Menopocalypse.Even Brad listened to that book as well... (Brad: Idid.) It's really, really helpful. She explains like all the stuff about perimenopause and menopause that I like, a lot of stuff that they just don't talk about. And also the fears that are out there that are ...(Brad: Amanda Thebe) yeah. Thebe. So, hi Amanda. Come on the show.Then also you guys, Sara Gottlieb. I heard her on Huber's podcast. Uh, she has several books out there and she actually has a hormone reset book. I have not done the hormone reset, to be honest. Elimination diets get a little bit hard for their, I have tendencies. I try to avoid those kinds of things. So Brad's been with me on elimination diets.We just are tryingnot to do them anymore. They, Brad Crowell: I just, that's the point where I just tell her it's all in your head, babe. Lesley Logan: No, it's not. So here's the deal. However, my dear friend has done SarahGottlieb's hormone reset [00:09:00] and really did get some value out of it in her peri menopause journey. Cool. So Sara Gottlieb has some great books on hormones, hormonal diet you can do, and also has been on a Huberman talking about that.Hmm. When it comes to herbal remedies, I look, I wish that I could tell you what those are. I'm not actually perimenopausal yet, so I haven't dove into myself. But in Amanda Thebe's book, there was some really great stuff including breath work. So you guys breath work is. Breath work, breath work, breath work.You could just do so much. And for what, what Amanda brought up was box breathing, which is inhale for four. Hold for four. Exhale for four. Hold for four. Brad Crowell: And I do this to go to sleep sometimes. Lesley Logan: Yes. Yes. It's so helpful. But it's very much aboutexpanding the gut and breathing all the way down into your pubic bone.And then when you exhale, she was like, and imagine just like pulling up, you know, your privates up like, a tissue coming out of a box and like that's how you excel. So it's not like the. Force like compressive, but like very much a uplifting exhale. Hmm. And that could be [00:10:00] really, really great. ...(Brad: good visuals.)So, as far as maintaining hormone balance, balance, you guys do not be, like, there's a lot of stuff out there about H R T. It's just hormone replacement therapy.If it works for you, it works for you.Brad Crowell: So, yeah, she, in Amanda Thebe's book, you talked about that and, and yeah, I thought it was an interesting, I'd never even heard of it. So yeah, it was an interesting, like, exposure to what it is, what it could be, what it isn't, how like it's been. You know, there's like good and bad things out there about it. So,218 Renee Bauer RECAP ROUGH: yeah. Lesley Logan: So until I can get a specialist on here, and again, I'm working on it, I'm, it's, I'm trying to find. Someone who schedule lines upwith mine, I would highly recommend those two, those two books. And then also telemedicine's really amazing. There are specialists, there are female doctor specialists in this that will do a telemedicine talk with you, and then you can get some, cream, some hormones, some patches.Um, the other thing is, is like anything you have to be connected to your body. You guys. So if you are someone who's walking around a little bit disconnected, you might not understand that some of the symptoms you [00:11:00] have are perimenopausal. You might be thinking that it's food or that it's stress or something like that.So, just journal what's going on in your body right now. So until you can find the person that really works for you, you can keep a log of how you're feeling on each day cuz then when they ask you how long you've been feeling like this, you don't feel like, I don't know how long I've been feeling Brad Crowell: like this.That's a good point. because that's something you can start right now. For free. For Lesley Logan: free. So Karen, I hope to have a specialist soon. We've had other people wanting a menopause expert. Ihear you. It's coming. And hopefully that gives you some help for right Brad Crowell: now. Loveit. Okay. Now let's talk about Renee Bauer With two decades of experience as a divorce lawyer. Renee has emergedas a powerful advocate in the women's empowerment space. She's forged a platform that bolds her self-worth and champions women's decision making, rooted in empowerment and financialindependence. Lesley Logan: Um, mm-hmm.I'm gonna jump in. Brad Crowell: Do it. Lesley Logan: So, um, I actually loved that she just talked about owning it. [00:12:00] She was like, you know, she was telling her story about how she was like, ashamed to say that she's a divorce twice. Like, and then she just happened to share on a podcast with a friend like that she was, and people are like, oh my God, thank you so much.And she realized that like what she was ashamed of was actually like the thing that helped connect her to most people. And so I really love that she, she is, was a proponent of like, just own the thing that scare, like, makes you worried that people are gonna be ashamed of you because it actually makes you vulnerable and makes people be able to trust you.And as we've talked about, like she's really like, The best person to help everybody decide if they are, should be getting divorced on, like, what their next steps should be because of her experience. Brad Crowell: Yeah. I was encouraged by her, you know, just the fact that she has seen both sides of the equation. And also, you know, like [00:13:00] being an attorney, you know, she's arguing on behalf of her clients, but she can also relate to her clients. I thought that was pretty cool. You know? When I went through my divorce, it was really interesting because I felt all the same things that she was talking about.Shame. She talked about shame. I felt so ashamed that I waseven considering the concept, you know, or that it was actually being like, forced on me cuz I didn't want to do it atfirst. I didn't wanna do it at all, in fact. And then when it, you know, after it happened, I really had to come to grips with that idea of, of like, you know, okay, I am a divorced person now.And that was a whole, it was like a new identity. I don't even know why I felt like it was that, but it was, you know? So the fact that she can relate tothe people going through it, it wasreally powerful.Well, and also like Lesley Logan: in our own life, there's been different people in our lives who are going through [00:14:00] that and they were so embarrassed and they were like kind of shutting down and like people weren't able to like really talk to them.And it's like, well, you can.you know, because you've been through that and like, I think it's just so important to not be ashamed of the journey that you have, whatever that was. Maybe you've never been, maybe you've never been married. like some people are ashamed that they get to a certain age and they've never been in a long term like, the thing. Yeah, sure. The shame is such a thing that keeps us from shining our light and like you have this amazing skillset, whoever you are, whatever that is, to actually change lives around you. And if you're letting that journey that you've been on, be something you're ashamed of, when really it's actually the superpower that makes you who you are and makes you able to connect with people.So I just love that she is owning this. And it is actually, it's actually what's, what's taking her with the book and with her event. It's really cool. Brad Crowell: Yeah, I think that, also, you know, one, one thing that, she you know, She said, justown it.It sounds very [00:15:00] glib to say that like from,if someone had just come to me and say, just own it, Brad, you're divorced or you're getting divorced, it would've been really hard for me to be like, okay, I'm in on that.Like, no problem. But let me tell you from my own personal experience, I began toheal when, and only when I quote unquote owned it. And for me it wasn't like this idea of like, I guess I'll just be this divorced person now. But what it was for me was I began to own it by no longer avoiding it in conversations with others. Right? Because it was so easy for me to just never bring it up. And so I'd meet people and they would never know that I'm like, for me, it felt like I was wearing this like monster on my back. Right? And, but I was great at hiding it, no? And so it, but it, but it didn't help me process. It didn't help me heal. It didn't help me, like, experience [00:16:00] engagementwith other people with this like, truth out there, right? Because like, I felt like, they don't, it's none of their business. They don't need to know, but it just kept eating at me, and it wasn't until I began to share with other people, oh yeah, I've actually been going through like a divorce right now that, that, that was the beginning of, of healing for me. Processing. So, yeah. ...(Lesley: I love that you said that.) Yeah. So, yeah, and actually, you know, she, her quote was exactly that and that's when I realized I need you to talk about this and not be ashamed about it.So. Yeah. Yeah. Well, one thing that I loved that she said was, find your tribe. And, again, I felt this, I found this to be particularly challenging, the idea of just meeting strangers on the internet to like be in a group of divorced men like that, felt like, uh, I don't know these fucking people, you know? And I was, I was not really okay [00:17:00] with that. So my, so I didn't actually go to an online community. But what I did end up really turning to were my close friends. And, you know, they weren't divorced, but they knew who I, they knew me, they knew me beforemy ex-wife, you know, for years before. And so having that support system was, I couldn't really go to my family. It was weird. I, you know, I didn't feel like that was okay to talk about it with my folks, you know, or my siblings, you know.But having the community around me like really helped me get through it. And that's what she's talkingabout here.So your tribe doesn't need to be like, it could be an onlinecommunity of people who like, don't know you or you don't know them. And that you could find freedom in that, cuz there were some times where I felt likeIt was okay to quote unquote air my dirty laundry [00:18:00] with people who I never would meet again.I'd never see them again. It didn't fucking matter ifthey judged me because I was like, yeah, your opinion means nothing to me.And then alternatively finding your tribe with people who do care about you. you know? You could be doing that too. Lesley Logan: Well also, like you had friends from before you were married. I was not divorced, but after I left my ex five years, I didn't have any. because all of, I moved to LA and then we started dating shortly thereafter. And so all of my friends were his friends. So when I left, it waslike, poof, gone. And I have to tell you guys, there's this one story that is likejust, oh my gosh, I wish I could have a video of it so you could just see what was like. But I was in line for this movie through the cemetery and I'm in this line. I'm like waiting. I'm by myself cuz my one friend that I made, the one friend that I made was looking for parking. And so I'm by myself and this line and the way the line goes is it snakes back and forth.And so I'm walking and I can see. Part of the line walkingtowards me cuzthey're about to turn in the corner. And my brain [00:19:00] saw a friend, somebody who I was friends with because of my ex and my brain didn't go. Danger warning, run away. And so I was like, hi. Right. Like, oh my God. And they're like, oh my God.And then behind them was my ex. And they're like, oh my God. And then behind him was this girl he was in and she was like, oh my God, at everybody. And then all I hear was, We're gonna have topassher over and over again.Brad Crowell: Oh, right. Cause The line snakes back and forth. Lesley Logan: Snakes back and forth. And I was just like, oh my God. And I'm likes, I'm like, I'm like, I don't care if you have to double park, youpark your car, you need to get your, I'll pay the ticket. I don don't care. We had to pass each other 11 times. Oh. At any rate, I only had thisone friend at the time, but she was also making friends. And so when it says find your tribe, like that can be hard work.And it was effort. And yes, that was a really terrible moment in my life, 11 times. Oh my God. But, [00:20:00] but I did find friendsand those friends led me to more friends. And those led to more friends. And then it put me to finding myself more. And now, while I don't have a lot of those same friends, because we've moved and everyone's life has changed. And welcome to LA it's a very transient town. It did help me find myself, to get me to a place where I could like go on to other things. Brad Crowell: Yeah. Yeah. Renee talked about joining a yoga group. Right? And how that became, like a lifeline tostaying in community with people. And you know, she, she actually said, you know, you're either gonna, she told herself, you're either gonna sit here all day and feel bad for yourself, or you're gonna put on some leggings and you're gonna go to yoga and you'll probably feel better at the end.And I couldn't agree with her more. I mean, it was really easy to stay home, drink a bottle of wine, watch a movie, and, and feel, you know, like shit. And it wasn't until I began to [00:21:00] intentionally go out again, and that allowed those conversations with others to happen, that processing to happen. So, yeah, well, so honestly, I mean, that was, that was quite a trip down memory lane. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like I've heard this story about you bumping into your ex, but I didn't realize. Uh, it was clearly at the movies at It was a business. yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly, And you wanna, that's the only line that I could think of where you were like, oh.I can I, can I tell you guys the best part? This is, okay, lemme just tell you the best part. I know we're running up on time, but lemme tell you this.So you take pictures atthe moviesand it wasthe slumber party night. It was the night where there was three movies in a row. And so we had my friends and I, once I got there, we like, got our picture taken.And in between the movie, the first movie and the second movie, they were showing the picture that had been taken up on the mausoleum. you guys, it's like the biggest block of wall. And when my picture came up with me and my two friends, it [00:22:00] stayed up. For minutes. And I laughed so hard. I looked at my friends, I'm like, I'm good.I'm outta here. Like I they are having to sit here and like, look and look. And I had this big cloak hoodon.It was all scary movies. And so I just looked like, I was like looking down upon the people. Brilliant. And so get this the next, the Monday after I get an email. Nicepicture. Anyway, we should get Lesley Logan: into these Be It action items real quick. Brad Crowell: Yeah. All right. So let's finally, let's get into these, Be It action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Renee Bauer? The biggest thing she talked about was knowing your money. Which is like a hundred percent what we talk about with business.So it's so funny. But personally that's very liberating, you know? And what's so crazy is like it was like the reverse of the conversation. She said most women come to [00:23:00] her and they're like, he took care of all the bills.I actually have no idea about any of it. And that's how my ex and I was, I didn'tactually manage any of it. Sowhen we split, I was like, how much are we in debt? What? I had no idea. Right? I didn't know anything and it was like really crazy. And, and I totally agree that if I had, you know,felt, if I had paid attention, You know, like I think, I don't think it would've been an issue for me to pay attention during the relationship of like, Hey, yeah, I just wanna, like, understand things.Then it would've been a lot more freeing. But I never paid attention at all. Yeah. yeah. Lesley Logan: Yeah. I really like that card of the, of the interview and I highly recommend listening to that part if you haven't, cuz it's really great. No matter if you're in a happy marriage or not. Like it's just so everyone, everyone should just be aware of what's going on, cuz then you know what your options are all the time. Brad Crowell: Yeah, and I'm, I'm glad you shared about how we operate today because, [00:24:00] you know, it'sstarkly different than how I used to do it. Today you and I actually have a monthly meeting for the company. But that incorporates, you know, pretty much our personal life too. And that allows us both to be understanding where we are and, and all the things.So, yeah. Lesley Logan: And this takes us into one of the Be It action I love, which is like, treat yourself like you are the CFO of your own life. And I think that like, goes along with what you were saying about your last marriage. It's like, I think it's really easy if you don't like money or if money was like a bad thing that you're raised to just like, ignore the money and I don't want it cuz it's a problem and I don't want whatever.But the actual reality is,is like no matter if you're in a marriage, not in a marriage and a great one. The more we are aware of the finances in our life, the more options we have. And you know, you can, this could be the thing you Be It Till You See It at this season. It's like, I'm gonna be a CFO of my life.What does a CFO do? Well, they know the numbers. Okay, what are my numbers? All right, what do I, what are my goals for my numbers to be what do I, want this money to be doing? And like, even if that'sjustthat you have a donationgoal that you wanna make, like that would [00:25:00] be a really great thing for y'all to do.So this was a fun interview. I really love Renee. It was just so great. And y'all should get her book. Brad Crowell: Yeah, I think so too. And it's upcoming right now, soI don't actually remember whatthe title of it was. She Who Lesley Logan: Wins? Brad Crowell: Oh, the book is called She Who Wins?. ..(Lesley: Mm-hmm. And her podcast is too great. so there you go.)Yeah. So we will, we will put the link for that in the show notes. And thanks so much for joining us. Lesley Logan: Yeah. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell: And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan: We are so grateful for you. This is so much fun. Oh my gosh, we're almost about hit two years with this podcast. I feel like we're like a day or two away, so we'll probably have to do that in FYF. But thank you for being you and we wanna know how you use these tips in your life tag the Be IT Pod, tag Renee Bauer,and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell: Bye for now.That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. [00:26:00] Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See it is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.It is produced and edited by the Epic team at Dysenio. Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website.And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This episode delves into the inspiring journey of Renee Bauer, a renowned divorce attorney turned women's empowerment advocate. It explores how Renee leverages her personal experiences and professional expertise to empower women to make decisions free from fear. Expect insights on reclaiming self-worth, understanding finances, and navigating life post-divorce.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How Renee's work shifted to women's empowerment space. Overcoming divorce shame and embarrassment. How to make decisions that aren't based on fears. How toxic relationships can bring out the worst version of ourselves. Showing up for yourself and finding a positive tribe of people. She Who Wins podcast and Renee's upcoming book. How to take control of your money and be the CFO of your life. Episode References/Links:Follow Renee on IGMs. Renee Bauer WebsiteListen to the She Who Wins PodcastListen to the Be It Till You See It podcast Amy Ledin Episode 5: How to Take Fast Action Against Limiting BeliefsMenopocalypse by Amanda ThebeGuest Bio:Renee is an award winning divorce attorney and Founder of Happy Even After Family Law. She is also a multi 7-figure entrepreneur and loves helping other women recognize their own self-worth, make big, bold decisions and build a business that gives them the financial freedom to follow their heart.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Renee Bauer: [00:00:00] If I ask a client, like, if this was your daughter's relationship, what would you tell her? And they'll say, well, I tell her to leave. Well, why is that not good enough for you? Like, why is it different for her? And guess what? She's watching you. And if she's, if she sees you not leaving and sees that maybe her dad or or her stepdad isn't treating you right, like what does she take from that, Lesley Logan: Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt, my friend, my friends.Action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a [00:01:00] perfect. Let's get started.All right. Loves, how are you? Welcome back to the Beat Till seat interview with an amazing guest. Um, I am so thrilled to have this one on. I've actually been on her podcast. She who wins and she's such a powerhouse. And here's what I know. I know that there are divine appointments and everything.Like we, uh, we met by putting ourselves into a room and it was a very small in-person event that was going on. And there was this networking. Part that was supposed to happen and as an introvert that I was, I just wanted to hang up my friend Lauren and like just go have a drink. But the energy in the group was so good that we decided to stay for the networking part, which was like this, you sit and the one row of chairs in front of you just kept moving.So you had like these two or three minutes per, per person to talk to. So it's a little overwhelming for the introvert that I am. And there's like 20 people that we met like within an hour. It was chaos and crazy. But when I, this woman sat down in front of me, first of all, I was so excited to [00:02:00] finally meet her because I'd been hearing her amazing advice in the room and I was like, I gotta know this woman.And then when she asked me for some help, I was like, Ugh. Cuz I had this like moment of like imposter syndrome. But like I just was like, this woman is so amazing, she's so powerful. Like, and then she asked a question and I was like, oh, I have an answer to that. And it was so hilarious because she had actually just met.The person I suggested that she connect with. However, um, it just goes to show that that person got double votes that she needs to connect with her. And also, um, never, never put yourself into a position where you actually are putting people up on pedestals when you haven't actually met them. Because who you are is valuable and what you have to offer is very uniquely different than what the person you're in front of has to offer.And so together we can actually have these amazing, crazy moments where we come together and we're stronger than we ever we're on our own. And so we actually dive into this, uh, to that type of topic in this interview. So, Renee Bauer, she's incredible. You're gonna hear her story. You're gonna hear who she is, what she does, what she's up to next, which I think is really important cuz sometimes I think, [00:03:00] um, when I bring on guests, you can just hear what they are at the top of their game, but also as they're transitioning into another thing.You know, she's this powerful, amazing person, but she's starting something new and there's uncertainty there and there's, there's newness there. And so I'm, I'm really excited for hear. Tons of amazing advice and also hear from someone who is like changing what they're up to these days and how that's working for them.And so it's exciting and you're gonna get a lot out of this. Let me know how you feel about this podcast by leaving us a review. Give us some stars. You can do that on Spotify, apple, or ever listen to podcasts. And here is Renee.All right, be it babe. I am really thrilled finally, to bring this amazing woman on the Be It pod. I have met her, gosh, it's probably almost six months ago now, uh, that we're recording this, so maybe even longer by the time you hear this. But she was just such a powerhouse, and when I heard what she does for women and what she does on this planet, I was like, I have to have her on.So Renee Bauer, thank you so much for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what Renee Bauer: you rock at? Thank you, Leslie. [00:04:00] I'm so pumped to be here. I am a divorce lawyer. I've been doing it for 20 years, but I noticed in that journey that the relationship was kind of a, was what happened after other things were going on in a woman's life.And really what was happening is women were struggling with issues of worthiness, of understanding money. Of understanding that they were capable of the love and the life and the job that they want. So my work has since shifted to more of this woman's empowerment space of hosting live events and a podcast.And I have a book coming out in 2023 all about that. So it's, you know, the work is, is is part divorce. That's what I, my trade is, but my love and purpose is really helping women just see what they're capable of and what they can inspire Lesley Logan: to. You know, okay. There's so much to unpack and love there because, um, you could have, you could have definitely just stayed, like, just had that one thing just been like, just rocking one thing, amazing divorce attorney, but you [00:05:00] saw that there's another problem and like, if we could solve this problem, it might put you out of a job or it might actually help people.Um, it will help women realize that no matter what happens in their relationship, they are an amazing person. That like, that, like that isn't a reflection, uh, it doesn't have a reflection of them and their worthiness. Renee Bauer: Yeah. And you know, so, uh, what I saw over the years is that women who would come into my office and they would sit across from me and they would ask questions like, how do you know?Or I would see them, Describe these really horrific, toxic relationships, or they knew that their relationship had come to completion because it was just fine and that wasn't good enough. But they still didn't make that decision to leave the relationship because they were scared. And a lot of times it was fear around money.It was a lack of control of money. And I said, well, that's, that's the issue here. It. Is, it's, it's not that the relationship, it's, you know, whether you stay or go, but it's, they're choosing, they know the relationship has come to completion, but they haven't chose themselves yet because they're so [00:06:00] afraid.And that's the root of really what, what the work that I do and the problem that I saw and I hope to help people Lesley Logan: work through. Oh yeah. I think, um, I can, I wasn't married to the person I was with before Brad, but it was like that. And I remember driving on the freeway and like, In traffic and just like praying to God that like he would break us up because I really didn't know how to break up and I also didn't know what I would do once we were broken up.Cuz I was like, I, I don't have a place to live once we break all these things. Right. And, uh, living in la like there's a really expensive leap to make. It's like, oh, I'm gonna go from like having a house that I like paid f partially for, but not enough to like, pay for an apartment of any size. Size. And so, um, so I, I can relate to those women so much and I'll, and I'll never forget I had this client.And, uh, she, she's a woman of a, of a certain age and a certain amount of wealth from her previous. She married well the first time, and she's asked me how it was going. [00:07:00] I said, oh, it's, it's nice. And she said, honey wallpaper's nice. And she said, look, you don't have to marry for love the first time you can marry for money.But do not just be in a nice relationship. Renee Bauer: I love that. I, you know what? I had the same story of that you had of driving, I was driving in my minch green Volvo, s u v with the double videos on the headrest with, with my infant son in the backseat. And I had this moment where it was like, okay, now that I have my son, I have everything I need to be happy.Like now I look back and I think of that thought. I was like, whoa. Like what? You know, girl, there, there's some work to do there. But I stayed in that relationship for. Two years because I thought, well, my son would bring me happiness. Not the case yet for a minute, but you know, not long term. And I had just started my law firm.I had maybe five clients I could count on one hand, you know, the number of people I represented. Rented and the money that was not flowing in, and I stayed partially because I was afraid of living on my own, having to support myself. I didn't know [00:08:00] how I was going to, even though I had a law degree, I was a lawyer.I didn't have that, that steady job because I was self-employed and I stayed. Yeah. And so I've like, I've been there, you know, and I see it so many times with women too, who feel so stuck because of a situation they find themselves in. But that doesn't have to be the only situation. Like there are, there are things that they.Can do in order to get out of that situation because being just fine. Am I ex He's a great guy. He was a great dad. Like there was nothing wrong. It was, it was wallpaper, Lesley Logan: right? I'm, it's just, I've, I've never forgotten that entire, like conversation cuz I'm, when, whenever I have clients like, oh, it's nice.I'm like, wallpaper's nice. Like, I'll never forget that. Like, there's gonna be moments where your relationship is like in different stages, but, um, just if the, if the high point is nice then, so I, I love that you have that story as well, because I think it makes it even easier for you to be relatable not only to your clients, but to the women that you're trying to serve right now.And what are some things that you did to [00:09:00] kind of like ready yourself to leave him and also like to get yourself to the point where you're like, I can teach other people how they're worthy no matter what's going on. Renee Bauer: Yeah, so two, two different questions and answers, but one, getting ready to leave. I just got to the point where I was so unhappy and I had gone to a doctor, just a regular checkup, and the doctor was like, how are things going?You're a new mom. And I remember saying like, you know, doc, I'm not happy. And she was like, you want me to prescribe a prescription for you? And I was like, wait a second. I'm not depressed, I'm not happy. And there's a difference. And that's when I think everything started to fall into place. And it was like, you know what?There's nothing wrong with this relationship, but I can't see myself li living a fulfilled life, staying in it and taking that leap and trusting that it was all going to work out. And I tell my clients that all the time. It's sometimes you have to take the leap and let everything work itself out the way it will, even though you're scared, even though you don't know what the other side's gonna look like, even though [00:10:00] you don't know where you're gonna live.Like you just have to decide, okay, I'm gonna take the smallest little action forward in order to at least start the momentum. And that's what I did. It was like the smallest step. And it was like, all right, I file. I don't know what's gonna happen next. Okay, now I move out. Now I don't know what's gonna happen after that.And it was like just kept taking little hard, uncomfortable, scary action. Friends, and you know, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. That year was hard. Like it was, it was, I was my, the worst version of myself. I was devastated. I had so much shame around it. I didn't have friends because I wasn't living in the state that I grew up in, but it's like, okay, I ca I know in my heart.This is still the right decision. Mm-hmm. Because even though it's a hard one, it's still the right one for me, you know? And here I am, all of these, let's see, my son's 17 now, so 15 years later, I'm so grateful I made that decision and he, we've both moved on, we're both remarried. Um, he's, my ex is with I think the per perfect person for him.I was not it, you know, I met with [00:11:00] my match and I'm so grateful that. I was able to kind of push through that hard when I think so many women don't want to feel that discomfort and so that they, they stay because what they know is better than what they don't know. Lesley Logan: Oh, yeah. I, I couldn't agree more. And I, I mean, like, I definitely, as I like hear your story, what I, what I hear so much is like, because of that situation, it really makes you the most prepared to do what you're doing right now.Like if you had, uh, if you had stayed in that relationship like. It doesn't sound like it was a horrible one. You just weren't happy and like you definitely would've ended up affecting other things in your life. But also if you'd never been married to that person, like your life, be totally different and you wouldn't be able to help.You could be the same lawyer with the same, even like a similar child situation, but like you wouldn't actually be able to relate to women the way that you're doing it and also empower them the way you are going to they, the way you are now. Renee Bauer: I don't think I became a really good divorce lawyer until I got through that and I have.So in between all of that, I got married a second [00:12:00] time, like so I even have that little and that second husband. That relationship lasted from beginning to end, like a year and a half. I mean, we're talking, meeting, marriage, divorce, and that short of time. So ta pile the shame on there and the embarrassment on, but that journey.Would not, you know, having gone through that, like I can connect with clients and other women who are saying, um, you know, I'm so scared I get it. Like I was too. Like I understand the fear around money and you can still work through it. So before I, you know, I was a decent lawyer, but having that pain and experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of going through that, I think changed everything about how I practiced and, and represented my clients.Yeah. Lesley Logan: Yeah, you can see them and, and also you can understand that that, and you said the word like it's shame. Like there is so much shame whether you go through a divorce or thinking of going through a divorce, you go through another one. My mom, um, she's gone through too, and I can tell that the shame that she still carries around that.Um, what are some things that you [00:13:00] help you helped yourself or help other clients do to deal with that shame part? Because that I think can be the one that changes your life the most. Like that could keep you from doing anything else after a divorce. I love this question Renee Bauer: so much because it wasn't until I started actually speaking out and speaking, going on a podcast like this and talking about my two divorces that I overcame the shame.So prior to that, I was like going into work and, and doing all of the things. I'd come home and still be kind of living in this world of like, I was embarrassed. I didn't wanna talk about it. I didn't wanna share any of my personal story with my colleagues or like other lawyers or let anyone know about it.But I had gone on a friend's podcast and she started, she, she said, I'm gonna interview you. I'll bring sushi over. We'll have a couple martinis. It'll be all good. So she did that. I'm like, Ooh, sushi. Okay, I'm, I'm in. We poured the martini. She clipped on the mic and she. Started asking me about my divorce and maybe I was a little buzzed, but I actually started answering [00:14:00] really honestly.And when that episode came out, people had reached out to me to say like, Hey, that was my story too. Thank you for speaking so vulnerably about it. And that's when I realized I need to talk about this and not be ashamed about it. And so now, now it's like, it's, it's second nature to just, to be like, yeah, I'm divorced twice, so what?You know? And so it was, it was sharing it, and I think so often, People don't wanna share that. And they're almost like, apologize. It's like, you know, the whisper like, oh, I'm divorced, or I'm twice divorced. And it's like, just own it. Be like, you know what? I, I was in two relationships that didn't work out and I made the, the brave decision to leave that because I wanted more from our family, for us, for our kids.And you know that that's okay. You know, Lesley Logan: I wanna highlight that because there are many women listen to this podcast. We have a few good men and then we have mostly women and I. I wanna highlight that you said you made the brave decision to leave. I think, um, though, that if we could actually change the stigma around divorce and we could [00:15:00] actually focus on, um, that you may, that it's brave and courageous to, you know, Acknowledge that this is not the right relationship for either person, then I actually think there'd be more happiness in this world, and also children raised in households where they can see that confidence comes from like, choosing yourself and that you can choose yourself.Um, I, I, I actually think it would be way different than people like trying to stick it out for longer and or some people are in relationships, unfortunately, where there is. Trauma happening and things like that, and like that, that there's a shame around divorce. So they'd rather stay in the thing. And it's like if we could just empower people that it's actually very brave to choose, you know, to help both people have an opportunity to have love and Renee Bauer: happiness.Yeah, and I, and I think if people are being really honest, if they're in that or you're on the cusp of divorce, that relationship's not happy. Neither of you are happy. Because you are not gonna have one person who's totally happy and the other one who's miserable, like something, the dynamic it, it whatever is [00:16:00] happening there.The reality of it is both of you are probably in this kind of place of just being stuck or just going through the motions of it. And it breaks my heart that like I have friends who are in relationships or marriages that are not great and they're not happy. And I'll say to them, well, you have a choice.And they'll be like, no, I don't. Like, I have three kids. So. Like that isn't the reason to stay in something where you wake up every day and you, you dislike, and I, I don't wanna say the word hate, but for some people it's hate, dislike, or resent. Your your spouse. And if you know, I, I like to say if when your kids go off to college, how do you feel about spending time with your spouse?And usually if the answer is like, oh God no. Like, I don't know what we're gonna do, well that tells you that something needs to be fixed, whether you work on it as a couple, which if that's possible, then the absolutely do that. Or you make the decision to change the situation. Yeah. Lesley Logan: Yeah, I think that that's what a, a great way to picture things, cuz that can really help you.And also, like, I love that, you know, [00:17:00] you people we're not here saying like, divorce is the answer. You can't, there are some relationship that absolutely can be worked on, but ob obviously both parties have to want to, to do that. And then action speaks louder than, than the words that are in those things.So, so to go back to like teaching people worthiness and like also, you know, Also overcoming the fear of that uncertainty. What are, what are some things that, um, that women can do, and especially in if, if that's, if this is where they're like thinking of going or where maybe they're at right now as I listen to this.Renee Bauer: Yeah. And so I'm bringing this to a, a very strategic, um, to do what they can do because what I have found is that most women have this fear around money, and often they, they'll come into me and they'll say, I wasn't the one who paid the bills, or All the money got deposited into a joint account. I don't know what's going on.So this is a really practical strategy that they can just start to really educate themselves and be informed about what's happening in their marital finances. Really start to see what's [00:18:00] coming in, what's going out, what do the bills look like, um, look at retirement statements. Make sure that you have your own credit card.Set up a separate bank account if all you have is a joint account. So like, really start to do things where you feel empowered from a financial perspective, because so many women feel like they're, they're gonna stay stuck because of the money, you know? Mm-hmm. Like we talked about. Mm-hmm. They're not, they're not gonna have enough, but if they start to take control of that, then they can.Start to make decisions that aren't based on fear, but really are aligned with what they know is true. So it's really start to get a handle on the money, and that's like start looking through bank statements and credit card statements and investment statements so you can really understand what there is.Lesley Logan: Yeah, I think that that's really, we, um, at our house, we call it the sahu, the State of the Financial Union. And once a month, and I hate the meeting, I really do, but I also don't wanna not be at the meeting because like, it didn't make me feel good to not know what's going on. So we once a month sit down and we know how much money is the next month supposed to bring in, how much are we?And like it's a little bit [00:19:00] business and a little bit personal because obviously we work for ourselves. So if the business doesn't make its money, we don't make our money. So we actually sit through and go, okay, yes, we expect all these members to stay on. We expect, oh, I expect these ones to leave. Oh, we have these events coming up.We can expect to make this much. Okay. Every, all the, there's no stress on payroll, there's no stress on this. And then, um, while Brad does pay our bills, well my sister actually works for us and she like sends all the money around. I'm on all the, I get all the emails. This has been paid, this has been paid, this has been paid.So like I am involved in knowing where things are at. And then my husband and I actually never joined our, uh, bank accounts. We've always had 'em separate. Yeah. Just kind of made sense cuz he had his own business at the time and I had my own. And it allows, It allows me to feel like I don't ever have to a, not that he, he would ever ask me to, but I don't ask.I don't ever feel like I have to ask to buy a cent something if I want something. Yeah. It's like I have my own money, I have my own credit card. You know, as long as I can be responsible with all that, then I can know I'm good with my things. I, you know Renee Bauer: what? And that's such a hot button [00:20:00] topic, because I like, I posted something on TikTok and it went a little nutty and people were coming at from all different angles.I agree with you. I, there's nothing wrong with keeping things separate and my husband and I too, we all have separate stuff and we have a joint bank account that really sits there kind of dormant. We don't use it because everything, we're kind of operating from our separate. That doesn't mean you're setting yourself up or getting prepared for divorce.It just means that you have some financial independence. And having that state of the union is so important because even though things are separate, you come together and you look at the full picture. So people get really triggered by that, and they think like, well, if you're, you're keeping things separate, then that means your relationship isn't totally unified.And I disagree. Yeah. I think that, Lesley Logan: yeah, I couldn't, I, I agree. And I, you know, TikTok is a whole other world of Oh, it certainly Renee Bauer: is. I just, it's such a weird place, but Lesley Logan: like, Almost the people who are saying that, I feel like there's more fear on, on their end, like that you're almost highlighting something, um, that they're, [00:21:00] uh, unwilling to acknowledge.But it's like your relationship can be hot and connected and it doesn't have to be by a bank account. Like that's what tell you you're having a great relationship. So, um, I love, I love that tool. Um, when it, when when women are, um, obviously they're spare around money. Do, what other fears have you seen that keep them from maybe making this decision or also they know that they make the decision, but like making the next steps so that they can thrive On the other side?Being Renee Bauer: alone, that's always a big one. Um, figuring out, so being alone and having to figure out like, How are you cutting the lawn? I mean, that's one of my favorite stories is like one of my first weekends after divorce, it was maybe a few weeks had gone by and I looked out in my lawn and they were like weeds all over the place.I'm like, ah, shit. Like I need to handle this. And I went out with a weed whacker and weed whacked a half acre, and it was a disaster. And then on Monday I went and hired someone. But it was like doing simple things like [00:22:00] that that you never had to think about. And people think like they're. Overwhelmed, like, how am I going to have the, the driveway plowed?And, and, and there's solutions to all of that. So you don't put your happiness online just because you're worried about the, the shrubs needing pruning. Mm-hmm. So that's, you know, that's one of the things. And then often the kids, people are afraid of messing up their kids. And I, what I say to them is, conflict causes problems and it causes, um, Con consequences in, you know, in kids, what kids are seeing and how they're being raised.It's not, it's not the divorce, it's the conflict. Mm-hmm. So, being in a house where there's a ton of conflict and a ton of fighting, they're seeing that now you're normalizing what, what a relationship looks like to them. And let me tell you, they're gonna go on and make those same mistakes and not have a healthy relationship because they're mirroring what the, what they grew up in rather than watching.To their parents, maybe live separately, but also live in a, in a happy environment. And [00:23:00] I know that that's kind of black and white and there's a whole lot of in between there with levels of conflict, even when you're divorced. But often people think that the divorce itself is going to screw kids up, and it's just not, it's not true.Yeah, I think, Lesley Logan: I think you're right. I think, um, you know, there's that whole like childhood divorced kids, like divorced homes like from the eighties and nineties. And I think that if you really look at it, it was the way that conflict was really. Put through with divorces, like there's conflict getting to the divorce, and then the divorces are messy and ugly.And, and so like, the kids are not, it's not the divorce, it's the messy and ugliness that they're seeing from their parents who, the parents say they love them, but that like, they're like, it's, but they're, it's just, it's all a hot mess. So I, I agree. I think, um, One of our guests, Amy Ledin, she'd said, um, actions are caught not taught.And if you are wanting your kids to go open a world where they get to have choice, they get to feel happy. inute---Lesley Logan: They get to feel like they have potential and possibility in this world and love, but you're raised 'em a household [00:24:00] where like they can clearly see that the two adults do not have that kind of passion for each other, or love for each other, or respect for each other.They're seeing that they're seeing those actions and that that is going to be something that. They either resent you for or they think is normal, as you say, that normalizes it, and then that's how their relationships go. Renee Bauer: Yeah. Like, and you think about, like, I have a, a son and three stepkids. I want them to be happy.And if that means walking away from a relationship that isn't good and, and, and filing for a divorce or, or leaving that, then so be it. If they're happy and rather than staying, you know, and it's like, It's what do you want for them? And if you can't, like if, if you, if I ask a client, like, if this was your daughter's relationship, what would you tell her?And they'll say, well, I tell her to leave. Well, why is that not good enough for you? Like, why is it different for her? And guess what? She's watching you. And if she's, if she sees you not leaving and sees that maybe her dad or or her stepdad isn't [00:25:00] treating you right, like what does she take from that? You know?Mm-hmm. Just, it's, it's hard though. It's hard, you know? It's easy for, for someone to listen, be like, yeah, but you don't get it. It, it's, you know, there's so many, of course it is hard, like there are so many factors and it's not a simple process to walk away and there's so much untangling and uncoupling, but it's still worth it.Yeah. If you're living in a bad relationship or a stagnant, or there isn't love, Yeah, it's worth it. You're Lesley Logan: worth it. I, I love that you, and thank you for your knowledge and that I, like, if you're listening to this and you're like, you guys, it's like, it's not gonna be easy. It's not gonna be easy. It's not easy.Even if you, if the, if it's a conscious uncoupling, like yeah, it's still not easy. Um, because that, that's the end of a chapter. That's end of a story. It's end of a book and like, you know, there's a lot of unraveling to do there. But, um, I, I will stand by you and like, you know, we, it is so much more important.On the other side of it, and now however long that takes you, like, you know, it's, it doesn't have to be tomorrow that you make this decision. [00:26:00] You can prepare and ready yourself to ready up. But like I do think that being honest with yourself about what you deserve in this world, I. You know, and I, I believe that everyone has this purpose, as I'm sure you do, and like there's lives that they can change and there's people that they can love.And if you are not in a place where you feel loved or feel happy or feel respected, you can't show up in the world No. And give people Renee Bauer: anything. No. When I was in that second bad marriage, and that one was really toxic, I was an awful boss. I was an awful lawyer. I was an, I was, uh, not a very good or present parent.I wasn't a good friend. Like I was just, I, I was, I was my worst version. Like I could not possibly shine light on anyone else because I was sitting in so much darkness. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Yeah. Um, How do you prepare people to go through the steps of a divorce? Like, are there things that they, that we should, that we, I'm not gonna include myself.I'm doing great, but are there things that people can, [00:27:00] um, can, like, think about and consider? Because obviously there's the filing, but then like, you know, depending on what state you live, and it could be months long, there's all these things. So like what are some things like emotionally though that they could, we could think about to, to, to go through that process?Renee Bauer: Uh, find, find your tribe. Find a support system. Um, that may not include friends and family. So those people who are around you now, they're really well intentioned, but they may not be the best person to go to. So find a community of people, and there's so many of them out there in, in this world, and pri like, I have a private Facebook group for divorced women, but find a really positive tribe of people who get what you're going through.Um, so you don't feel so alone in it. And the other thing is make sure it, you know, start to put the steps in place to educate yourself and, um, like I had mentioned, start gathering financial documents. Meet with a couple lawyers. Don't just go to a person who's someone recommended. Uh, go and have a couple consultations, even if they're paid.And trust your gut. Like, who, [00:28:00] how do you feel about this person? Can you work with them, um, and make sure you're making a decision based on what. What they offer, like is it aligned with how you wanna go through the process? Um, because a lot of times people will hire someone because they heard through the grapevine, someone's cousin's uncle, use this person.They had a good experience. Well, they might not be the right person for you. So just like, keep checking in with your gut. And like having some grace in recognizing it's going to be really hard. Just bring yourself back to center to remind yourself this is still the right decision, even if it's hard. And you get that right support around you outside of the court, inside the court, um, and everything in between.And just keep like your eye on the prize and recognizing like, this is just a moment. It's a moment. It might last a while, it might last a year, but it's a moment and there will be a time when you'll start to feel really, really good about your decision. Lesley Logan: Yeah. I, I love that you said find a tribe. I think, um, because it might not be your friends and family, cuz there's, [00:29:00] it's like telling a coworker you're gonna leave a job.Even that's like, they're gonna be like, oh, should you be doing that? Well, what about your vacation? Yeah. What about this? And it's, and they're projecting their fear of for themselves about the change in the life that you leaving is going to make. And so they might not be the best people to, to talk to cuz they may, unfortunately, with all the love in the world, say the wrong thing.And, and then you're gonna feel more alone and more like you're doing the wrong thing. Yeah. Or more that you're crazy. And so I, I do think it's important to find people who, who can't do that. And also, you know, when I left my ex, when I had met him, I had just moved to LA so all of my friends were his friends.The other friends I had were like clo like acquaintances from work, but like they were all his friends. So when we, when I, when I left, like I lost everything, all the friends house, and then I totaled my car leaving. So that was its own thing. So I was like, okay, Jesus, take the wheel. Just take whatever, whatever I'm not supposed to have, just get rid of it all cuz I don't really wanna, I don't wanna [00:30:00] go through this anymore.And, um, But I was so grateful cuz I had this one friend who was introduced to me. That person did not, I did not, I only met her one time while I was with him, so she had no idea who I was then. So we just became these like best friends for a summer and she got me to the other side of that whole transition.Um, and she's also one that introduced me to Brad. So it was like a very interesting. Interesting person to have in my life, but I don't think, um, it would've been, I would've felt the same and come out the same and look back 10 years later and go, that was the fucking best thing I ever went through. Thank goodness I went through that.Renee Bauer: Yeah, I, you know, for me it was, um, I had the same thing because all, none of all of my friends were my ex's friends, so I really had like maybe one or two people in the state and I wasn't super close to them. I decide to sign up for yoga. I'm like, I'm gonna do yoga and I'm gonna show up and, and let me tell you, every time I thought to myself, every time I don't have my son when I'm miserable and when I'm like, so sad, I'm gonna go to yoga because I'm gonna fill that time.I was like putting a bandaid over it. [00:31:00] But I started to enjoy it. I started to actually get to know the community of women who went there. Then I started to do things with them outside of the studio, and I showed up even when I didn't want to. Like there were, there was a Saturday morning, I woke up. I was like sitting there over my coffee crying.I did not wanna go. I'm like, You're either gonna sit here all day and feel bad for yourself, or you gonna put some leggings on and you're gonna go to yoga and you'll probably feel better at the end. So it was like I kept forcing myself to do those things even though I didn't want to. And it made all the difference because they really became a, a group of friends during that time that I needed to, to get, get me outside of my own head out of my house.You know? So, and, and I think that's the one thing too, is just like make force yourself to put yourself in new surroundings with new people. Well, and as you're saying Lesley Logan: that, what I like I basically heard is like you're kinda like being at till you see, you're putting yourself into a space. Yeah. Where you could be the woman you wanted to be without all that negativity going on.And then you can meet people and they would get to know the Renee that you wanted people to know. And [00:32:00] so there was like this really be like, you had this like safe haven, this island. And I think like, you know, there. No matter how much money or little money you have in every community, there are community classes, there are donation only classes.There's just different things, and so, you know, try to find. Different ways that you can have a, a new tribe to meet new people and put yourself And I know for the introverts I know, I hear you. I know Renee Bauer: I'm an introvert. Yeah. So I like, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Lesley Logan: The good news is, is you don't have to talk to people during class.It's just before and after. Yeah. Um, okay. I wanna talk about what you're doing now because, um, I feel like, uh, like. When you transition to something new, and it's not like you're leaving what you're doing, but you're adding this new amazing thing. There is another element of like being, until you see it like you are the top of your game over here and now you're like starting this whole thing over here.And so how has that been going? What are you ex the most excited about right now? Renee Bauer: I love that, that, um, so, you know, imposter syndrome is a real thing and you could look at [00:33:00] someone and be like, oh, they're doing all the things and they're successful and it still sneaks in. So yeah, it's. It's le it's starting a new thing, a new company, and you start from the ground.And it's exciting though. It's like filled with possibility. Um, I don't, you know, doing it without expectation attached to it is kind of amazing too. It should be like, I'm gonna just follow what feels really good and what feels aligned and see where it brings me. So the She Who Wins, uh, summit is a live event that I created last year.Didn't know who was gonna show up. Wasn't even sure. Like I thought that I was gonna have to like, beg people to come and fill the seats. And we ended up selling out. Um, and we're doing it again in 2023 on April 29th at Mohegan Sun Casinos. So, um, it's all about coming together and being in the room together because some of the most impactful things that I've ever done is when I put myself in the room mm-hmm.And connected with other women. Women who are doing really awesome things and like authentically make, I mean, look at how you and [00:34:00] I met. Is we connected by putting ourselves in the room? Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like, it's amazing, like what you can learn from other people and that's, that was the inspiration behind it is like, let's hear from people who are doing incredible things.Let's bring them all together. Let's have some fun. It's not just education, it's some entertainment. It's, you know, getting up in some movement and be inspired and motivated, but also walk away with some actionable items that you can immediately implement in your life. Lesley Logan: I love this. I couldn't agree more and, and.You the, we were in a, in a, an awesome small. And what was so fun about our in-person is that I was, when you asked who you I, who you wanted, like we wanted more amazing women in your life. And I was like, oh, can you talk to Karine? Which Kareem was on our show, um, in the beginning. And you're like, I just met Karine.And so fu what's a really crazy and amazing is when you do put yourself in amazing spaces, you start to meet. People who know similar people and you end up very quickly in a really awesome group of people with shared, shared experiences, shared values, shared wants and [00:35:00] dreams, and then you start to propel each other forward.And the only reason I met Kareen is cuz I put myself in another room that I really didn't wanna go to. I almost like got sold my ticket. I was like, I don't really need to go to this thing. And I went Any. Anyways, and it was the best, the best thing it could have ever. The, the, the reason we're listening to this podcast is because of these rooms that I put myself in, where I was like, I got myself into place where I'm like, oh, I could do that.Oh, this is how I could do it. And I could, um, I could see those things. And too often we, we wait until we're ready or until the stars align or tell. Everything is figured out before we put ourself in a space where we would say, I don't know how to do this thing. And like the rooms that we have, we've met in, it's like, I have this problem and I don't know how to solve it.And that is so much vulnerability. And immediately you have connection with other people, Renee Bauer: and I think women are afraid in general to ask for help. And, you know, we, we take all of this stuff on and we try to balance it all. And we, we, we think that we can figure it out on ourselves. We don't want to burden other people.And there's so many [00:36:00] amazing people who want to help. And it's like, it's incredible when like, like I've learned to ask for help for things and. When I reach out to someone and be like, Hey, I need help with something, I immediately, the response is like, oh yeah. Like absolutely I can, I can send you this, or I can make this introduction like we want.So when you're surrounding yourselves with people who genuinely want to help you, like it's amazing because you never feel alone in this journey. Yeah. Lesley Logan: Yeah, I, I, I wish we, um, I would love to figure out what it is that we were taught when we were younger. Like cuz all, obviously we all got a message that, that we're not supposed to ask for help cuz it's gonna look like we don't, like we are, don't know what we're doing.Um, but it is, it is so true. Like the people I find that. All of my friends want, have, want to help. They want, like anyone you'll meet wants to be part of whatever you're creating. People want to be supportive, but we are so, we are like, I gotta do it all on my own. Like the be like, it doesn't matter unless I did it myself.Renee Bauer: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I have, I have like a story of that trying to get into college, get into [00:37:00] law school, and it was someone who knew someone who could help me get into the school. I'm like, no, I don't want the introduction. I'm gonna do it on my. Oh, you know, and then when the rejection rolled in, I was like, oh shit.You know, maybe I should have asked for the help. But yeah, I don't know where it comes from, but that's how, that's how I always felt. It was like, I'm not strong enough, or it doesn't, it's not, it doesn't matter or it's not an achievement. Yeah. If I have to actually ask someone to assist me. Lesley Logan: Yeah, it's, um, yeah, that's just, it's, it's so funny.So ladies, everything you need to hear is like, ask for help because people actually wanna help you. And also it does, it's not a reflection on you that you like, no one is like, oh, that person she asked for help. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Renee Bauer: and you know what, and being so vulnerable about it too. Like now I'll just be like, I have a problem and here's what it is.And like, I don't care. Like, it doesn't mean that, oh, she's not as successful because she has a problem with this thing and needs, needs help. Like, no, let's not. I think that's something that, that we, cause if someone comes to me and says, Hey, I have something, can you help me with it? I don't [00:38:00] look at them and be like, huh, who are they?Like they're not, you know, they're not a successful person cuz they're asking, so why are we doing that to ourselves? Lesley Logan: Yeah. Yeah. I think the more we can start to treat ourselves the way we treat other people in all ways, I think we'll actually get a lot farther. So you're writing a book. Um, has that been a fun process?Is it been an enjoyable process? Is it like a whole new experience? Like what's it, what's it been Renee Bauer: like? Um, so I'm a writer before I am anything else? I've been writing for a really long time, just. Of even being a kid. So that was, uh, that was such a joyful process. I mean, that was, and as I started to write, I, you know, that was a journey too.It's kind of interesting cause I wrote a number of chapters and I looked back at it and I'm like, this is very surface level. It's not, uh, it's not deep enough. And I said, you know, in order to like really connect, I'm like, I think I need to like, kind of pour my heart and soul and vulnerability onto these pages.And I scrapped those chapters and said, let me start again. And let me talk about things that I've never shared before. [00:39:00] Um, so it was almost like a healing session for me cuz I thought there were things that came up that I thought were completely healed. And I'm like, oh, body image issues and weight issues and stuff like that.And all of a sudden I'm bringing up memories as I'm writing from, like when I was a kid, I'm like, where the hell did that come from? Like, I thought that that was all tucked away and dealt with. So the writing journey has been, Absolutely beautiful. The book comes out on September 5th, 2023 by Iran Publishing.Um, I'm so excited to share it with the world because it just, it like is so near and dear to, to me and Lesley Logan: oh my gosh, I can't wait for it to come out. We'll have to make sure our peeps, um, all know it's coming out because, um, it's. You're the, when you one, if you love writing, then like it's going to come across on the page.But also to be so vulnerable and to actually go deep, that is going to change it. Cuz so many books I've, I've read, I'm like, well this is great. Yeah, this is nice, this is good wallpaper. Um, but Renee Bauer: like, we don't want wall. But I find that the Lesley Logan: books that like I talk about so much are the [00:40:00] ones where I can tell the author shared in such a vulnerable way that I'm like, I can see myself, I can feel myself, I can understand it, you know, so, um, a, a recent book I read was Meta Apocalypse, and I wanna get her on the show, but like, she was so vulnerable about her story and her journey of perimenopause that I like, I actually felt like I could be in the, like, I could actually understand what she was talking about in a way I could feel it in my body and like, You know, that's another thing that I think we can, can be so hard.It's like, I don't wanna share everything because then people will know all the things. So it's like most people have gone through what you're going through and they just wanna feel seen. So if you actually just share all those dark, dirty stories that you've, you've put those labels on that are actually just experiences that you had that made you who you are, you'll have more people who are like, oh my gosh, like you've, no, you've made me feel so seen.I get you, you know? Yeah. Renee Bauer: Yeah. Yeah. And that, and that was the, the reason behind it. That was the reason behind the stories. Cuz the book isn't about me, it's just, it's moments, it's stories, it's just, uh, that tie into what we're talking about in that chapter. But it's [00:41:00] not my life story. I'm not telling you my journey from childhood to adulthood, but it's these moments that were so difficult for me and caused so much pain.Or joy moments of joy too, and laughter and stupidity. Um, stories and like some stupid things that I've done that I've been so embarrassed about. And it's like, it's the humanity of it. Mm-hmm. So if someone can read that and say, oh, I had, I didn't have that experience, but I had that similar feeling and I experienced something that, you know, was my own version of it, then, you know, I, I did my job as a writer.Yeah. And, and ultimately that's just it. I wanna move people emotionally. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Ugh. Well, I can't wait to announce, um, to our peeps when your book is ready to be purchased and all of those things. Um, Renee, we're gonna take a quick break and then we're gonna find out how people can find you, follow you, work with you, and you'll be at action Night at school.Okay, Renee, where do you like to hang out? We know TikTok, but what are your handles? Renee Bauer: I, I actually don't like TikTok, so don't go over there. Um, Instagram's kind of my favorite, favorite place. It's at Ms. Renee Bauer, so I'm always in there responding to dms. Lesley Logan: [00:42:00] And you have a podcast. She who wins. I do. Yep. On all major platforms.Awesome. So wherever you listen to this, you guys, you can listen to that. Um, I was on that, uh, on one of the episodes and I know some of my other dear friends, but on this, so you have to go, uh, do a little binge listen, so, okay. Bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it.Renee Bauer: Yeah, so I'm bringing it back to Money. Ladies know your money. Don't be afraid to talk about money, to dig into it, to ask for it, to ask for the raise to, uh, to understand how it's serving you or how it's not serving you. And I think if we're talking about like one action item is like, treat yourself like you are the c f O of your life.Treat yourself as if you are your own business. Don't let it money rule you. You take control of it. And because that is the, it's so powerful. It gives you the courage to do things. It gives you the courage to walk away from things that aren't serving you. So don't be afraid to get really up close and personal with your money relationship.[00:43:00] Lesley Logan: Mm. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I love that so much. Brene, this is amazing. We'll have to have you back. Um, thank you so much for being you and being here. Everyone. How are we going to use these tips in your life? Let us know. Tag the be it pod tag, Ms. Renee Bauer. And until next time, be it till you see it. That's all I got for this episode of the Be Until You See a Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others be it till you see it. Have an awesome day. Be it till You see. It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan and me, Brad Kroll.Lesley Logan: It is produced, edited by the Epic team at Deeno. Our Brad Crowell: theme music is by Ali at Apex Production [00:44:00] Music, and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Trophy. Lesley Logan: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Samina Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell: Also to Angelina Harko for adding all the content to our website.And finally to Meredith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you missed the She Who Wins conference, we've got you covered. Erin and Nicole are here to give you the inside scoop. Erin had an amazing opportunity to take the stage as a speaker, sharing her knowledge and expertise with the audience. And with all the other incredible speakers from the event, they too had some serious ahas and takeaways. From learning how to step up their networking game to realizing their own self-worth, these two left feeling empowered and they're here to give you all the details. You'll also want to tune in for Nicole's hilarious and inspirational story about her 4-hour trip to T-Mobile! So kick back, relax, and get ready for some serious insight - you don't want to miss out on this!   If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple “plays” to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie   To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: hello@bauthenticinc.com  If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!  Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)   Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram  Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group    Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?”quiz  Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)" Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences. Tweetable Comments “You have no idea where something can unfold. Try it. Try something that feels comfortable to you.” “Doing everything in the moment is not always the answer.” “The perfectionist in me wants to do everything awesome, and it wants to do everything perfect. It wants to do everything the way it's supposed to be done, but there is no supposed to be.” “I'd always said to myself, “You're okay, Nicole. You don't have broken down cars on your lawn. You don't have a toilet on your lawn. You're okay.” And guess what? I now have a toilet on my lawn.”  

If you missed the She Who Wins conference, we've got you covered. Erin and Nicole are here to give you the inside scoop. Erin had an amazing opportunity to take the stage as a speaker, sharing her knowledge and expertise with the audience. And with all the other incredible speakers from the event, they too had some serious ahas and takeaways. From learning how to step up their networking game to realizing their own self-worth, these two left feeling empowered and they're here to give you all the details. You'll also want to tune in for Nicole's hilarious and inspirational story about her 4-hour trip to T-Mobile! So kick back, relax, and get ready for some serious insight - you don't want to miss out on this!   If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple “plays” to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie   To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: hello@bauthenticinc.com  If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!  Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)   Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram  Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group    Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?”quiz  Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)" Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences. Tweetable Comments “You have no idea where something can unfold. Try it. Try something that feels comfortable to you.” “Doing everything in the moment is not always the answer.” “The perfectionist in me wants to do everything awesome, and it wants to do everything perfect. It wants to do everything the way it's supposed to be done, but there is no supposed to be.” “I'd always said to myself, “You're okay, Nicole. You don't have broken down cars on your lawn. You don't have a toilet on your lawn. You're okay.” And guess what? I now have a toilet on my lawn.”  

Renee Bauer, family law attorney, talks about new beginnings. This week's Dating Dish is: How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating. The Dear Damona question this week is: I am looking for a relationship, but all of my dating app matches end up looking for a hookup. Is that all that's out there? Follow Renee on Instagram @MsReneeBauer and learn more about the She Who Wins summit at SheWhoWins.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Swap with the She Who Wins Podcast We all carry trauma with us, even if we don't realize it at the time. It's embedded in our identity, seeping into our everyday actions and responses whether we are aware of it or not. But simply acknowledging its presence isn't enough to truly confront it – unpacking and processing that baggage requires real commitment. This week, we are doing something a little different and listening in on a conversation from one of our favorite podcasts, She Who Wins, and airing an episode with host, Renee Bauer and her guest, Lauren Zoeller. Lauren Zoeller is a seven-figure entrepreneur, speaker, author, and host of “The Aligned Love Podcast”. As the Founder of The Aligned Love Experience, Lauren is an expert practitioner in reparenting, generational healing, and somatic experiencing. Through her work, she created the proprietary Voice Activation Method that has been used to help thousands of men and women heal from past trauma and take ownership of their future. In this episode, the two discuss the role that trauma plays in our lives and how we can turn it into an opportunity for growth rather than something that holds us back. Connect with Renee: The She Who Wins Podcast Renee's Website   Connect with Lauren: Lauren's Website Instagram: @laurenzoeller Tiktok: @coachlaurenzoeller   If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple “plays” to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie   To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: hello@bauthenticinc.com  If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!  Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)   Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram  Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group    Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?”quiz  Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)" Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences. Tweetable Comments “Trauma is an overwhelming response to something that was too fast, too much or too soon for your body to properly process what's happening.” “When you're in this manic state of, I need to achieve, I need to get things done, what is your body telling you in that moment? Because when you can start learning that language, Then, you can start using the tools to regulate your system.” “Your truth is your birth right.” “It's important that we all learn to reparent ourselves. We all become self-healers because at some point we've had trauma.”  

Episode Swap with the She Who Wins Podcast We all carry trauma with us, even if we don't realize it at the time. It's embedded in our identity, seeping into our everyday actions and responses whether we are aware of it or not. But simply acknowledging its presence isn't enough to truly confront it – unpacking and processing that baggage requires real commitment. This week, we are doing something a little different and listening in on a conversation from one of our favorite podcasts, She Who Wins, and airing an episode with host, Renee Bauer and her guest, Lauren Zoeller. Lauren Zoeller is a seven-figure entrepreneur, speaker, author, and host of “The Aligned Love Podcast”. As the Founder of The Aligned Love Experience, Lauren is an expert practitioner in reparenting, generational healing, and somatic experiencing. Through her work, she created the proprietary Voice Activation Method that has been used to help thousands of men and women heal from past trauma and take ownership of their future. In this episode, the two discuss the role that trauma plays in our lives and how we can turn it into an opportunity for growth rather than something that holds us back. Connect with Renee: The She Who Wins Podcast Renee's Website   Connect with Lauren: Lauren's Website Instagram: @laurenzoeller Tiktok: @coachlaurenzoeller   If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple “plays” to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie   To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: hello@bauthenticinc.com  If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!  Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)   Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram  Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group    Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?”quiz  Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)" Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences. Tweetable Comments “Trauma is an overwhelming response to something that was too fast, too much or too soon for your body to properly process what's happening.” “When you're in this manic state of, I need to achieve, I need to get things done, what is your body telling you in that moment? Because when you can start learning that language, Then, you can start using the tools to regulate your system.” “Your truth is your birth right.” “It's important that we all learn to reparent ourselves. We all become self-healers because at some point we've had trauma.”  

Join us as we discuss taking messy action on planning and hosting a first event with Ms. Renée Bauer! Renee is hosting her second annual event, She Who Wins, April 28 - 29, 2023 in Connecticut! https://shewhowins.com/ Renee is an award-winning divorce attorney, published author, and founder of the Happy Even After Family Law. With almost two decades of experience, Renée is committed to empowering all women to redefine their sense of peace and purpose in their new life. Renée's insights are sought after by national and international media outlets, podcasts, and conferences where she speaks on entrepreneurship and women empowerment. As an accomplished litigator, she boldly educates and inspires women to reclaim their right to happiness. She is the host of She Who Wins Summit live events. Her book by the same name will be released in 2023 by Urano Publishing. Connect with Renee! https://shewhowins.com/ https://www.instagram.com/she.who.wins/ Sarah Brush xo Connect with me at Sarah Brush (@eventivebrush) • Instagram photos and videos

Welcome back to the She Who Wins podcast! While I've been a divorce attorney for a long time, I've been a champion of women finding their voice and doing bold,...

You may think that you can only be happy if you are in a positive situation and if everything is working out and going according to plan. But did you know that you can still find happiness in difficult situations? Pursuing your purpose and redefining your happiness can sometimes mean stepping outside of your comfort zone in order for you to grow, whether by starting a new business, changing careers, or leaving a toxic relationship or friendship.Happiness is what Renée Bauer advocates for. She's an award-winning divorce lawyer and the founder of She Who Wins, where women are empowered to be their best selves and create their own “happily ever after” despite the hurdles and the struggles they've been through.Renée's website - https://msreneebauer.com/Connect with Renée on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/rbauer1Follow Renée on Twitter - https://twitter.com/msreneebauerFollow Renée on Twitter - https://instagram.com/msreneebauerFollow Renée on Instagram - https://instagram.com/msreneebauer