Podcasts about mmmmmmm

Have any questions, insights, or feedback? Send me a text!Length: 57 minutesSynopsis: This evening (11/27/24), in our Wednesday night Tehilim/Tefilah shiur on Erev Thanksgiving, we commenced our in-depth analysis of the blessing of thanksgiving: Modim! We began with a 15-minute review of my "MMMMMMM!" method of tefilah analysis. After that, we spent the rest of the shiur figuring out the reading and translation of the berachah - a task more difficult than people might imagine! Although we only barely had enough time to start our proper analysis at the end, we picked up on lots of ideas and insights along the way. Next time, we'll do some serious analysis, guided by the Abudarham.-----מקורות:ברכת הודאה (נוסח אשכנז)סידור ארבע כנפות הארץסידור אזור אליהו (דף נ)עיון תפלה (בסידור אוצר התפלות), דף קעט-קפ-----The Torah content for the remainder of November has been sponsored by Ed Zack. When I asked him for a sponsorship message, he replied, "MAGA." While I appreciate the support, I told him I'd prefer to keep things less politically divisive. After some discussion, we settled on something we can all agree with: Make America Think Again.-----If you've gained from what you've learned here, please consider contributing to my Patreon at www.patreon.com/rabbischneeweiss. Alternatively, if you would like to make a direct contribution to the "Rabbi Schneeweiss Torah Content Fund," my Venmo is @Matt-Schneeweiss, and my Zelle and PayPal are mattschneeweiss at gmail. Even a small contribution goes a long way to covering the costs of my podcasts, and will provide me with the financial freedom to produce even more Torah content for you.If you would like to sponsor a day's or a week's worth of content, or if you are interested in enlisting my services as a teacher or tutor, you can reach me at rabbischneeweiss at gmail. Thank you to my listeners for listening, thank you to my readers for reading, and thank you to my supporters for supporting my efforts to make Torah ideas available and accessible to everyone.-----Substack: rabbischneeweiss.substack.com/Patreon: patreon.com/rabbischneeweissYouTube Channel: youtube.com/rabbischneeweissInstagram: instagram.com/rabbischneeweiss/"The Stoic Jew" Podcast: thestoicjew.buzzsprout.com"Machshavah Lab" Podcast: machshavahlab.buzzsprout.com"The Mishlei Podcast": mishlei.buzzsprout.com"Rambam Bekius" Podcast: rambambekius.buzzsprout.com"The Tefilah Podcast": tefilah.buzzsprout.comOld Blog: kolhaseridim.blogspot.com/WhatsApp Content Hub (where I post all my content and announce my public classes): https://chat.whatsapp.com/GEB1EPIAarsELfHWuI2k0HAmazon Wishlist: amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/Y72CSP86S24W?ref_=wl_sharel

Fresh. Frozen. Local. National. New York. Chicago. Fargo. Mmmmmmm. Pizza!

Dustin Nielson and Lt. Eric are back with another edition of The Nielson Show. The boy's start off the first bit of the show with some Tom Gazzola short talk.   They then transitioned to ‘Morning Announcements' from 100.3 The Bear to recap last night's TNF game between the Cowboys and Giants, YTT's disc golf game, and who's moving in to Schanks!?   In the middle of the hour, the fellas dove into ‘MMMMMMM That's Good' for Italian Centre Shop! Twitter Marry dropped off some goods, we got some fan mail, which was good. And Tre Ford contract negations started? MMMMMMM, That's really good!   To finish the first hour, the boy's ‘Cracked Some Packs' from Wayne's Sports Cards!

MMMmmmm... let us inspire you to be a bit more adventurous with your pizza toppings. Chef Scott joins us to talk about fruit on pizza and he drops the one ingredient he absolutely says in a no-go! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mmmmmmm! Es wird lecker! Der Generationentalk lädt Fernsehkoch René Schudel und Jungköchin Celine Maier zum Gespräch. Sie diskutieren über ihren Beruf im Wandel der Zeit. Was begeistert sie immer wieder, was immer noch? Wie kann ihr Beruf attraktiver werden? Der Generationentalk zum Quartalsthema «Härzhaft». Moderation: Luc Marolf Weitere Infos zum Generationentalk: https://www.generationentandem.ch/online/radio/diesen-dienstag-im-berner-generationenhaus-generationentalk-mit-herz-am-herd/

 My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me.By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories."Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule." Tara declared."Thank goodness you're hot" I joked, "Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me." With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive.We got to the resort and it was everything we expected. It was a cheesy resort built for "romance weekends". They did a have a "lodge restaurant" and because it was off-season, we had no problem getting our choice of cabins and were told to come down the restaurant at any time.The guy working the front desk told us that the hot tub on the deck was usable, but suggested that we turn the heat on before dinner if we wanted to use it later. He also mentioned the romance package and asked if he could have it delivered while we dined. He said all of this unironically and without embarrassment.We made the short walk down a path to our cabin and were thrilled with what we found. It was roomy, with an oversized king bed. It had a glossy wooden floor that led to a loveseat, and two chairs that gathered by a large gas fireplace. The bed itself was a wonder to behold. A crimson bedspread was stretched across it. 6 stark white pillows were stacked at the top of the bed with a sort of long, red ribbon holding them all together. The bed itself was made of a wooden frame with large headboard.Just to the right of the bed, was a sliding glass door that went to the enclosed deck and the hot tub. The hot tub faced the lake but was still enclosed by the walls of the deck. There were instructions on the wall, and I got the heater for the hot tub started. As I was getting my bearings, the room behind me went dark for a split-second and suddenly was bathed in red."BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA" said Tara as she started playing with the light switches on a bedstand. One switch bathed the room in red. The next started a sort of "disco-light" effect. Button 3 I ~think~ was light romance...as pastel circles, and blobs sort of migrated across the walls and ceiling."What's that last switchy-thing?" I asked. Tara flipped a switch and we heard a "whirring" motion. From the bottom of the bed, a panel came up revealing a bed-width mirror."Oh, well of course it is!" We both burst into laughter. I tackled Tara and we spilled on to the bed making out and making up for lost time. Hands started to wander. She started to rub my crotch through my jeans, I was working my way up her shirt. As we took a quick pause, I spoke up."Babe. This place is amazing and I want nothing more than to fuck you right now, but I'm starving!!!! Can we go eat and then we have all night to experience the Adventureland theme park in our room?""Absolutely". Tara went into the bathroom to freshen up. For the first time, I reached into my back pocket and found the money Henry had given me. I counted out five crisp $100 bills and was suddenly looking forward to a great meal.We threw our coats back on and walked over the restaurant. We gave the waiter our "dinner coupon" and placed our order. For a half-full resort, in the middle of nowhere, with a porn set for a cottage, the meal was surprisingly good. We started with a Manhattan and a Martini and thanks to the money Henry had slipped me, we splurged on an expensive bottle of wine. We ate and drank and ordered a bottle of Prosecco to take back to the room as we left the restaurant.We stumbled back to our room and keyed back in. On the coffee table was what looked like a large rectangular box of chocolates. Upon opening it, we found out it was our romance package. There were a number of "adult' items, all discretely packaged and wrapped inside. Like a kid on Christmas, Tara began opening each one."Oh! Ok. Cherry flavored lube. That's kinda fun. Next, "Tickle her pink" arousal crème. Alrighty. We've got an Aqua-vibe! Some silicone cock rings. Massage Oil. And.." Tara then held up with great pride.... "A blindfold mask!" For the next few minutes we laughed and opened everything. Slowly, though, the mood went from humorous to sexy. We started to smell, taste and feel everything in the box. Tara got the ball rolling."Why don't I grab those robes, you grab the vibe & the Prosecco and I'll meet you in the hot tub."I stripped down to my boxers and opened the Prosecco. Tara came out wrapped in a robe, holding some towels and handed me the other robe. We opened the sliding door and I lifted the cover off the hot tub. The cold air made the hot tub seem that much hotter, but we slowly lowered ourselves in with a number of "ohs" and "ahs" until we got comfortable,As we soaked and sipped the Prosecco, the stress of the day melted away. Our hands kept wandering, gently touching and stroking each other under the bubbles. Slowly, we started kissing. It was sensual, and exploratory. I started cupping one of her breasts while she started stroking my cock and balls. As our arousal grew, Tara whispered, "Did you bring that vibe?"I reached up and grabbed the small vibe off the edge of the tub. It looked like a small blue insect -- 3 inches long with two antennae at one end. Once the vibe was turned on, the antennae started to shake and vibrate. I moved the toy under the water and started using them on her nipples that were just under the surface. Tara moaned slightly and let her head loll back onto the deck's edge. I continued going back and forth between her nipples while I gently nuzzled and kissed her exposed neck. When I thought she was ready, I had the vibe work it's way down her ribcage, eliciting a giggle. The giggling stopped when I reached her crotch. I gently pushed her legs apart and started working the vibe over her clit.. It wasn't a toy that was meant for insertion, so I figured out a way to maintain my grip with my thumb and two fingers while inserting my ring and pinkie fingers slightly insider her. It all had the desired effect. Within a few minutes, I started to see the familiar red blotches on her shoulders and cheeks, telling me she was close. I kept up the motions until she started to come.The waters started to splash as Tara's hips flexed and shook. "Uh........uh.....yes.......fuck.........don't.........keep.......yes......fuck......ah"I moved the vibe away and let Tara catch her breath. As she started to come down from her high, she said, "Let's go inside and I can return the favor." We got out, jumped into our robes, and went inside."Lay some clean towels down in front of the fire." I followed her instructions and watched her grab the flavored lube. "Now, lay down."I laid on my back by the fire and kept my eyes on Tara's amazing body. Her tits were still moist from the hot tub & her pussy swollen from her recent orgasm. As she stepped toward me, she opened the Cherry lube and began spreading it over her pussy. Once she was sufficiently covered, she took two fingers and started spreading it inside herself. She came over to me, poured a palmful of the fluid into her hand and started rubbing it up and down my erect cock. Once she was satisfied, she swung her legs over my head and pushed her cherry covered cunt on to my face. I took the hint and began licking and sucking. Tara wasted no time as she dropped down on to my cock and began licking off the lube. I was trying hard to breathe while still focusing on licking my way up and down her outer lips. As I worked my way around, I would shift up and gently start licking her clit. Every time I did, I noticed that her efforts on my cock increased. Figuring out that increasing her pleasure could increase my own -- I took my tongue and drove it as far into her pussy as a I could.It had the desired effect. Tara moaned around my cock and drove her mouth down to my balls. I could feel her tongue licking my shaft as she sucked down on my entire length. It quickly became too much for me. I grabbed down on her ass and pulled her pussy into my mouth. I latched onto her clit creating a vacuum suction while I rapidly licked it with the tip of my tongue. Tara's hips began to shake and she moaned even more. The moaning around my cock was like a tight, vibrating sheath that sent me over the edge. I exploded into her mouth and heard a cacophony of noises. My own moans, her moans, the sound of her gulping down the milky load, our combined mouths gasping for breath.....followed by two huge contented sighs.After getting her breath back, Tara spun herself around and settled into the crook of my arm & shoulder. We lay together, content and satiated. Then, slowly, we realized that our mouths were both covered in each others juices and cherry lube....and it was getting kind of gross. Tara told me to go clean off a bit. As I looked at the clock, I realized it was only 11:00, not 2am as I was expecting. I went into the bathroom, got some hot water running and soaked a washcloth in soap and the water. I washed off my face a few times until the combined stickiness was gone. Then, I got the sticky lube off my crotch as best I could. I was considering hopping in the shower real quick, when Tara started knocking on the door."You almost done? I gotta pee and brush my teeth.""Yup. Two seconds." I brushed my teeth and let my girlfriend by with a quick smack on the ass.I threw on my robe, poured some more Prosecco, and laid on the bed. Admittedly, between the drinks and wine at dinner, plus the Prosecco, I was still riding the line of "buzzed" and "drunk". Add in the sudden activity and I was worn out. "You mind if I turn on the TV, babe?""Not at all! I could use a little break" she yelled back through the bathroom door.I flipped around and found a cable show with an annoying couple trying to buy a 4-bedrrom house on 3 acres and a pool for $237K dollars. Tara came out, climbed onto the bed, and started playing around on her phone.After an episode and a half, I noticed Tara's hand was slowly snaking its way up my leg, under my robe. As she started stroking my cock, encouraging it back to life, she asked if I was ready for another round. I started to roll her over, until she put a hand on my chest."Nope. You've been amazing this weekend. For me, my family, now it's time you get your reward. But....you have to trust me.""Uh.....ok.""Seriously babe. Trust me." With that, she started taking my robe off my shoulders. Once I was naked, she put some pillows under my head and reached over the side of the bed. She grabbed the large ribbon that had been around the pillows and started tying my right wrist to the bed frame (Oh.....THAT'S why they have that ribbon....duh). She swung over me, and started tying my left wrist, so I was spread eagle with my arms. Tara then got up and went over the Romance box."I have to go in the bathroom and get ready. But before that, I want to get VERY ready." With that, she took a good dollup of the arousal gel and spread it over her clit and pussy lips. The reaction was instantaneous. "Oh fuck. That's amazing. It's heating up my pussy. Wow. I need to save this so I can get some more."With that, she went into the bathroom for a few minutes. Fortunately, I could still see Beth and Shawn complaining about the backsplash in the kitchen on the tv show, so I wasn't getting anxious. A few minutes later, Tara came back out with the robe on. "Sorry! For this part, we need one more thing."She walked over and hit the "red light" option on the bedstand. Next, off went the tv and up went the mirror."Babe, I hope you're coming right into bed. Because if you want to kill the mood....leaving me tied up to only stare at my red-bathed cock and balls....that'll do it.""Don't worry. I have a surprise for you, but I don't want you see anything yet. With that, she put the sleep mask over my eyes. I heard her shuffling around, her suitcase unzipping and the bathroom door closing, then something strange happened. I heard the latches on the front door open and I felt a blast of cold air. As goosebumps erupted on my body, I heard the door close and a pair of high heeled shoes walking across our floor. The bathroom door closed again and I thought I heard muffled voices.Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the door open again and I heard Tara say, "OK. Babe, like I said, you did a lot for my entire family and here's your surprise." I then felt movement on the bed and someone straddling me.I felt a pair of wet panties rubbing across my cock. The more the pussy rubbed, the more the juices seemed to flow. All of a sudden, there was a slight shift and I felt Tara's pussy engulf my cock. It felt like Tara had pulled her panties to the side and was grinding her clit against me, while starting to ride my cock with fervor. I didn't remember her wearing panties when we crawled into bed and was surprised she put them back on just to have blindfolded sex.The fact that I couldn't see her and couldn't move my arms to reach out to her multiplied the sensations exponentially. Tara kept alternating her motions. She would slow down, then pick up speed, then she would just stop and grind for a minute. At one point, she just sat there on my cock, and I felt her long hair start to tickle my chest as she licked my nipples. Eventually she started to pick up speed, but she kept me on the edge of coming again and again. Just as I started to moan that I couldn't take much more, the mask was ripped from my face and I saw a sight I would never forget.My alcohol-affected eyes were still blurry, and the room bathed in red which made everything surreal-- but there was Lindsay, in her yellow skirt riding me. She had on her white top from the party, unbuttoned to her navel so I could see her chest and tits perfectly. Looking down into the mirror, I could see her black heels and sure enough, pulled to the side were the purple checkered panties. She was grinding on my cock, rubbing her clit against me while she pumped back and forth. Her long brown hair was down over her face, with her head bent forward and her hands on my chest. The similarities between her and Tara was insane. I felt my cock somehow get even harder which was magnified by the fact that her pussy was absolutely on fire.My still-buzzed mind was going a million miles a second as I tried to take in the crazy scene. My brain rocketed back to the "we share everything" statement at the bar. I thought about the door opening while I was blindfolded. Was this some sisterly April Fools prank going to another level? My eyes were searching the room, looking for Tara. Was she watching? Did Lindsay somehow lock her in the bathroom? Where did she go?Lindsey was riding me harder now, her pussy gripping my cock. She was so wet, I could feel her lubricating my cock with every thrust of her hips. The fluids were running down my balls as she kept grinding away. The heat coming out of her was like nothing I had ever felt before and I felt the cum building up in my balls. Lindsey was quiet but riding me harder when she leaned back, tossing her hair behind her and giving me an unobstructed view of her tits and tight body.That's when it hit me. For the first time, I was able to see the tell-tale red flush on her chest, shoulders and neck through the thin, white shirt."Babe....." I moaned."Mmmmmmm.....I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out." Tara said, "You like? Or is this too weird?""Untie me, now. I'll show you." Tara reached up and released the loops around my wrists. Once my hands were free, they went right to her top, ripping the white blouse open. Buttons flew everywhere and I mauled her tits as she increased her speed on me.All the build-up and activity caught up to us at the same time. Just as I started to feel my cock release itself deep inside her, Tara started some deep guttural moans that ran through her body. She trembled, moaned and started thrashing on my cock.If it weren't for the fact we were in a remote cabin, we would have woken every neighbor around us. Tara was screaming and digging her nails into my chest. I shot stream after stream of cum into her pussy, thrusting up trying to milk the most out of both of our orgasms.Tara collapsed on to my chest as we gathered our breath back. I started to shift so I could go to the bathroom when she stopped me."Hold on. I have to do one thing."Tara reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. She wrapped her leg over my crotch and spread out her skirt a bit. She took what was left of her blouse and covered her exposed tits as she cuddled up against me. She aimed the camera into the mirror at the foot of the bed and snapped a picture.Once she was happy with her picture, I saw her send a text to Lindsey, "Meant to tell you I borrowed some of your clothes! Next time I'm home, I'll trade you for my black shirt back. April Fools!"She hit send, we both used the rest room and returned to the bed. Exhausted from everything, we both collapsed into a deep sleep.------------The first problem with a night of crazy, passionate sex in a romantic cabin, complete with toys, booze and bondage? Before you pass out, you don't think of things like pulling all the blinds and curtains closed. So, after the aforementioned night, I woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room from multiple openings. I looked over to see Tara sprawled face down on the other side of the bed, but somehow she had found the sleep mask we had used the night before and she was using it for the intended reason -- to block out the light and get some sleep.I stumbled naked out of the bed, and started working my way around the room, trying to close as many of the blinds as I could. Even my best efforts resulted in the room being slightly darker, but nowhere near sleep-quality darkness. That's when I noticed the second problem with a passionate night in the cabin -- the leftover scents and smells.The room was filled with the sensory remnants of the night before, the burnt-out fireplace, cherry lubricant, lotions, stale prosecco, and of course, sex. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and wandered back to the bed. I picked up my phone to see that it was only 6:45 in the morning and flopped back into the bed, burying my head between some pillows to get some sleep.After what felt like only a few minutes, I felt Tara stirring next to me. I groaned and lifted my head to see that it was actually 9:30. My movements alerted Tara that I was awake and I heard her husky morning voice, "Morning, babe. Did I wake you?""No. I was up earlier but managed to get back to sleep. Did you happen to ask what time checkout is today?"Tara got out of bed and walked over the table where she had dropped our packet of information when we arrived. Her hair was a tousled mess, but I focused more on the movement of her ass as she walked across the room. From the bed, I could see her breasts lightly bounce as bent over to pick up the paperwork and walk back to the bed."Well, we missed breakfast. That ended at 9:00." she read as she sat down, "Checkout is at 11. I'm fine if we just want to pack up and hit the road, we can grab an early lunch on the way out. Tara then looked up at our reflection in the weird bed-mirror, "But first, I need to shower. Holy fuck, I'm a mess."She took her hand and gently rubbed the surface of her pussy. "I'm sore, too, but that arousal crème they gave us was unbelievable. I was on fire before you even touched me last night.""That was crazy, babe. What made you think of the whole 'dressing up like your sister' thing?" I asked."It's a long story and we have time in the car, I'll tell you the whole thing." Tara was still gently touching her pussy at this point. Not masterbating by any stretch, but just lazily running her hand over her mostly hairless crotch. "But I really do need a shower, I'm so sticky and gross right now." She glanced over and saw that even her slight movements were making me hard."Tell you what. We do have a little time and since we both need to clean up anyway, why don't you give me a minute or two and meet me in there?"With that, Tara jumped up and started walking toward the bathroom. Her ass seemed to have a little extra swagger as she glanced over her shoulder with a smirk, knowing I was going to be close behind her. I waited a few minutes as I heard the sink run, toilet flush and the shower start. I then made my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth to get rid of my morning breath and started toward the shower.Admittedly, for such a romantic room, the shower was pretty standard. It was slightly oversized, with a large glass door that faced the rest of the bathroom. Through the steamy glass, I could see Tara with her head leaning back into the water, letting the spray cascade down her head and body.I slid into the chamber behind her and started to run my hands up her sides to cup her tits. I moved her wet hair over her shoulder so I could start kissing the back of her neck as ground my cock against her ass. Tara slid forward a bit to let the hot water wash over me as she grabbed for the bar of soap in the soap dish."Here" she said, "wash my back." Tara handed me bar of soap and I used it to start washing her back. I built up a lather and worked my way back to her tits. I could feel her nipples tighten under the soap as ran my hands all over her chest. I kept building up more soapy bubbles and started to run one hand down toward her pussy."Babe, I can't. I'm still too sore from last night" she said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from her sex. "Plus, I said you could wash my back." As Tara said it, she pushed back and gyrated her ass against my crotch.Taking the hint, I moved my hands to her back, but this time started working them lower. I used my slippery, soapy hands to massage and caress her ass cheeks. Thanks to our positioning, my cock was getting coated with the soap, too. I took my right hand and started to work my way into the cleft of her ass cheeks. As I started to brush my soapy fingers against Tara's puckered hole, she shifted her weight forward, extended her arms and leaned against the wall of the shower. This pressed her ass against me more and I used more soap to add lubrication to my cock and her hole. When we were both fully lubricated, I gripped my cock in my hand and started to press the head against her asshole.Tara and I were no strangers to anal play and thanks to the amount of soap we used, the head of my cock popped through her tight ring without much resistance. Whenever I slid into her ass, Tara would let loose with what I could only call a guttural moan and this time was no exception.Even though my cock had been sucked and fucked nearly raw the night before, the feeling of her tight ass wrapped around me was amazing. I didn't waste any time and started to thrust in and out of her ass, feeling the falling water splash over us while the wet sounds of flesh slapping together filled the room."Uggghhhh....fuck my ass babe. Make me your little ass whore." Whenever we had anal sex, Tara's sex drive would go into overdrive and she would go from lusty to slutty in seconds. With my slippery hands and the shower water, I was having a problem getting a good grip on her hips and we starting to slip in the shower."C'mon, Jason. Don't stop now. What happened, did I wear you out last night? You're not gonna go soft in my ass are you? Fuck me like you mean it. Dump your cum into my ass, baby."Tara's mouth and dirty talk sent me over the edge. I pulled my dick out of her ass with a pop and whipped open the shower door. I grabbed Tara's soaking wet body and lifted her up and out of the shower. As our feet hit the bathroom floor, I pushed her down on the ground so that she was laying flat with her naked body pressed against the tiles.I spread her ass cheeks one more time and thrusted into her. With the floor under her, I was able to fully work my entire length into her ass. Tara was grunting and moaning with every thrust of my cock. With the bathroom acting as an echo chamber, our cries were reflecting back on us and magnifying our every sound.Just as I felt Tara's body start to shake and tremble under me, I felt my cock start to explode in her. Wave after wave of hot cum poured into her ass. Tara was literally whimpering under me and for a minute I thought I was going to pass out. The explosion of my orgasm, the heat of the shower, and the steam filling the room all had my head spinning. I pulled my softening cock out of Tara's ass and opened the door to the bathroom, letting the cool air pour in. I sat against the doorframe as Tara continued to lay on the floor.After a few minutes, she began to stir. She picked herself up off the floor and got back into the shower. I reached over and wrapped a towel around my waist and started to clean up the room and pack our belongings. When Tara emerged from the shower, I hopped in to clean myself off.Once we were both showered and dressed, we grabbed our bags, checked out of the room and got back in the car. I could tell that Tara was exhausted and wasn't going to be much company on the ride back to school. I drove back, listening to the radio and Tara woke up as we were approaching our university."So, I have to ask" I said. "What was up with you and Lindsay and the outfits?"Tara chuckled, "I figured you weren't going to let that go. Lindsay has always been a tease around guys. As we both get older she gets some weird thrill out of teasing my boyfriends, but she never really does anything serious. Once though, a guy a was dating, Glen, tried to start feeling her up when I wasn't around. She told me and that was it for me and Glen."Every time I've spoken to her over the past month, she's talked about the whole April Fools weekend and that she would have to up her game with you. I thought wearing the blouse at the bar was it, but she went above and beyond. I will tell you, though, she came to me first thing the next day and told me you threw her out. And for the record, she wouldn't have let you fuck her. She would have pushed you to the point, then bailed.""Ok" I said, "But what about you last night wearing her outfit?""Oh! I was walking by the kitchen and saw her standing over you during the party, still teasing you. I was going to let her have it before we left, but when I saw her clothes crumpled up in her room after the party, I got a better idea."For once, I figured out a way to turn her little prank around on her and give you a bit of a treat at the same time. That's why I texted her that picture last night. Besides, you didn't seem to mind." she finished with a smirk."No" I said, "but next time, an even BETTER prank would be actually have your sister take your place, don't you think?"That earned me the final punch in the arm of the trip, the large bruise my souvenir of April Fools Day that year.By TruthWithaTwist for Literotica.

 My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me.By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories."Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule." Tara declared."Thank goodness you're hot" I joked, "Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me." With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive.We got to the resort and it was everything we expected. It was a cheesy resort built for "romance weekends". They did a have a "lodge restaurant" and because it was off-season, we had no problem getting our choice of cabins and were told to come down the restaurant at any time.The guy working the front desk told us that the hot tub on the deck was usable, but suggested that we turn the heat on before dinner if we wanted to use it later. He also mentioned the romance package and asked if he could have it delivered while we dined. He said all of this unironically and without embarrassment.We made the short walk down a path to our cabin and were thrilled with what we found. It was roomy, with an oversized king bed. It had a glossy wooden floor that led to a loveseat, and two chairs that gathered by a large gas fireplace. The bed itself was a wonder to behold. A crimson bedspread was stretched across it. 6 stark white pillows were stacked at the top of the bed with a sort of long, red ribbon holding them all together. The bed itself was made of a wooden frame with large headboard.Just to the right of the bed, was a sliding glass door that went to the enclosed deck and the hot tub. The hot tub faced the lake but was still enclosed by the walls of the deck. There were instructions on the wall, and I got the heater for the hot tub started. As I was getting my bearings, the room behind me went dark for a split-second and suddenly was bathed in red."BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA" said Tara as she started playing with the light switches on a bedstand. One switch bathed the room in red. The next started a sort of "disco-light" effect. Button 3 I ~think~ was light romance...as pastel circles, and blobs sort of migrated across the walls and ceiling."What's that last switchy-thing?" I asked. Tara flipped a switch and we heard a "whirring" motion. From the bottom of the bed, a panel came up revealing a bed-width mirror."Oh, well of course it is!" We both burst into laughter. I tackled Tara and we spilled on to the bed making out and making up for lost time. Hands started to wander. She started to rub my crotch through my jeans, I was working my way up her shirt. As we took a quick pause, I spoke up."Babe. This place is amazing and I want nothing more than to fuck you right now, but I'm starving!!!! Can we go eat and then we have all night to experience the Adventureland theme park in our room?""Absolutely". Tara went into the bathroom to freshen up. For the first time, I reached into my back pocket and found the money Henry had given me. I counted out five crisp $100 bills and was suddenly looking forward to a great meal.We threw our coats back on and walked over the restaurant. We gave the waiter our "dinner coupon" and placed our order. For a half-full resort, in the middle of nowhere, with a porn set for a cottage, the meal was surprisingly good. We started with a Manhattan and a Martini and thanks to the money Henry had slipped me, we splurged on an expensive bottle of wine. We ate and drank and ordered a bottle of Prosecco to take back to the room as we left the restaurant.We stumbled back to our room and keyed back in. On the coffee table was what looked like a large rectangular box of chocolates. Upon opening it, we found out it was our romance package. There were a number of "adult' items, all discretely packaged and wrapped inside. Like a kid on Christmas, Tara began opening each one."Oh! Ok. Cherry flavored lube. That's kinda fun. Next, "Tickle her pink" arousal crème. Alrighty. We've got an Aqua-vibe! Some silicone cock rings. Massage Oil. And.." Tara then held up with great pride.... "A blindfold mask!" For the next few minutes we laughed and opened everything. Slowly, though, the mood went from humorous to sexy. We started to smell, taste and feel everything in the box. Tara got the ball rolling."Why don't I grab those robes, you grab the vibe & the Prosecco and I'll meet you in the hot tub."I stripped down to my boxers and opened the Prosecco. Tara came out wrapped in a robe, holding some towels and handed me the other robe. We opened the sliding door and I lifted the cover off the hot tub. The cold air made the hot tub seem that much hotter, but we slowly lowered ourselves in with a number of "ohs" and "ahs" until we got comfortable,As we soaked and sipped the Prosecco, the stress of the day melted away. Our hands kept wandering, gently touching and stroking each other under the bubbles. Slowly, we started kissing. It was sensual, and exploratory. I started cupping one of her breasts while she started stroking my cock and balls. As our arousal grew, Tara whispered, "Did you bring that vibe?"I reached up and grabbed the small vibe off the edge of the tub. It looked like a small blue insect -- 3 inches long with two antennae at one end. Once the vibe was turned on, the antennae started to shake and vibrate. I moved the toy under the water and started using them on her nipples that were just under the surface. Tara moaned slightly and let her head loll back onto the deck's edge. I continued going back and forth between her nipples while I gently nuzzled and kissed her exposed neck. When I thought she was ready, I had the vibe work it's way down her ribcage, eliciting a giggle. The giggling stopped when I reached her crotch. I gently pushed her legs apart and started working the vibe over her clit.. It wasn't a toy that was meant for insertion, so I figured out a way to maintain my grip with my thumb and two fingers while inserting my ring and pinkie fingers slightly insider her. It all had the desired effect. Within a few minutes, I started to see the familiar red blotches on her shoulders and cheeks, telling me she was close. I kept up the motions until she started to come.The waters started to splash as Tara's hips flexed and shook. "Uh........uh.....yes.......fuck.........don't.........keep.......yes......fuck......ah"I moved the vibe away and let Tara catch her breath. As she started to come down from her high, she said, "Let's go inside and I can return the favor." We got out, jumped into our robes, and went inside."Lay some clean towels down in front of the fire." I followed her instructions and watched her grab the flavored lube. "Now, lay down."I laid on my back by the fire and kept my eyes on Tara's amazing body. Her tits were still moist from the hot tub & her pussy swollen from her recent orgasm. As she stepped toward me, she opened the Cherry lube and began spreading it over her pussy. Once she was sufficiently covered, she took two fingers and started spreading it inside herself. She came over to me, poured a palmful of the fluid into her hand and started rubbing it up and down my erect cock. Once she was satisfied, she swung her legs over my head and pushed her cherry covered cunt on to my face. I took the hint and began licking and sucking. Tara wasted no time as she dropped down on to my cock and began licking off the lube. I was trying hard to breathe while still focusing on licking my way up and down her outer lips. As I worked my way around, I would shift up and gently start licking her clit. Every time I did, I noticed that her efforts on my cock increased. Figuring out that increasing her pleasure could increase my own -- I took my tongue and drove it as far into her pussy as a I could.It had the desired effect. Tara moaned around my cock and drove her mouth down to my balls. I could feel her tongue licking my shaft as she sucked down on my entire length. It quickly became too much for me. I grabbed down on her ass and pulled her pussy into my mouth. I latched onto her clit creating a vacuum suction while I rapidly licked it with the tip of my tongue. Tara's hips began to shake and she moaned even more. The moaning around my cock was like a tight, vibrating sheath that sent me over the edge. I exploded into her mouth and heard a cacophony of noises. My own moans, her moans, the sound of her gulping down the milky load, our combined mouths gasping for breath.....followed by two huge contented sighs.After getting her breath back, Tara spun herself around and settled into the crook of my arm & shoulder. We lay together, content and satiated. Then, slowly, we realized that our mouths were both covered in each others juices and cherry lube....and it was getting kind of gross. Tara told me to go clean off a bit. As I looked at the clock, I realized it was only 11:00, not 2am as I was expecting. I went into the bathroom, got some hot water running and soaked a washcloth in soap and the water. I washed off my face a few times until the combined stickiness was gone. Then, I got the sticky lube off my crotch as best I could. I was considering hopping in the shower real quick, when Tara started knocking on the door."You almost done? I gotta pee and brush my teeth.""Yup. Two seconds." I brushed my teeth and let my girlfriend by with a quick smack on the ass.I threw on my robe, poured some more Prosecco, and laid on the bed. Admittedly, between the drinks and wine at dinner, plus the Prosecco, I was still riding the line of "buzzed" and "drunk". Add in the sudden activity and I was worn out. "You mind if I turn on the TV, babe?""Not at all! I could use a little break" she yelled back through the bathroom door.I flipped around and found a cable show with an annoying couple trying to buy a 4-bedrrom house on 3 acres and a pool for $237K dollars. Tara came out, climbed onto the bed, and started playing around on her phone.After an episode and a half, I noticed Tara's hand was slowly snaking its way up my leg, under my robe. As she started stroking my cock, encouraging it back to life, she asked if I was ready for another round. I started to roll her over, until she put a hand on my chest."Nope. You've been amazing this weekend. For me, my family, now it's time you get your reward. But....you have to trust me.""Uh.....ok.""Seriously babe. Trust me." With that, she started taking my robe off my shoulders. Once I was naked, she put some pillows under my head and reached over the side of the bed. She grabbed the large ribbon that had been around the pillows and started tying my right wrist to the bed frame (Oh.....THAT'S why they have that ribbon....duh). She swung over me, and started tying my left wrist, so I was spread eagle with my arms. Tara then got up and went over the Romance box."I have to go in the bathroom and get ready. But before that, I want to get VERY ready." With that, she took a good dollup of the arousal gel and spread it over her clit and pussy lips. The reaction was instantaneous. "Oh fuck. That's amazing. It's heating up my pussy. Wow. I need to save this so I can get some more."With that, she went into the bathroom for a few minutes. Fortunately, I could still see Beth and Shawn complaining about the backsplash in the kitchen on the tv show, so I wasn't getting anxious. A few minutes later, Tara came back out with the robe on. "Sorry! For this part, we need one more thing."She walked over and hit the "red light" option on the bedstand. Next, off went the tv and up went the mirror."Babe, I hope you're coming right into bed. Because if you want to kill the mood....leaving me tied up to only stare at my red-bathed cock and balls....that'll do it.""Don't worry. I have a surprise for you, but I don't want you see anything yet. With that, she put the sleep mask over my eyes. I heard her shuffling around, her suitcase unzipping and the bathroom door closing, then something strange happened. I heard the latches on the front door open and I felt a blast of cold air. As goosebumps erupted on my body, I heard the door close and a pair of high heeled shoes walking across our floor. The bathroom door closed again and I thought I heard muffled voices.Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the door open again and I heard Tara say, "OK. Babe, like I said, you did a lot for my entire family and here's your surprise." I then felt movement on the bed and someone straddling me.I felt a pair of wet panties rubbing across my cock. The more the pussy rubbed, the more the juices seemed to flow. All of a sudden, there was a slight shift and I felt Tara's pussy engulf my cock. It felt like Tara had pulled her panties to the side and was grinding her clit against me, while starting to ride my cock with fervor. I didn't remember her wearing panties when we crawled into bed and was surprised she put them back on just to have blindfolded sex.The fact that I couldn't see her and couldn't move my arms to reach out to her multiplied the sensations exponentially. Tara kept alternating her motions. She would slow down, then pick up speed, then she would just stop and grind for a minute. At one point, she just sat there on my cock, and I felt her long hair start to tickle my chest as she licked my nipples. Eventually she started to pick up speed, but she kept me on the edge of coming again and again. Just as I started to moan that I couldn't take much more, the mask was ripped from my face and I saw a sight I would never forget.My alcohol-affected eyes were still blurry, and the room bathed in red which made everything surreal-- but there was Lindsay, in her yellow skirt riding me. She had on her white top from the party, unbuttoned to her navel so I could see her chest and tits perfectly. Looking down into the mirror, I could see her black heels and sure enough, pulled to the side were the purple checkered panties. She was grinding on my cock, rubbing her clit against me while she pumped back and forth. Her long brown hair was down over her face, with her head bent forward and her hands on my chest. The similarities between her and Tara was insane. I felt my cock somehow get even harder which was magnified by the fact that her pussy was absolutely on fire.My still-buzzed mind was going a million miles a second as I tried to take in the crazy scene. My brain rocketed back to the "we share everything" statement at the bar. I thought about the door opening while I was blindfolded. Was this some sisterly April Fools prank going to another level? My eyes were searching the room, looking for Tara. Was she watching? Did Lindsay somehow lock her in the bathroom? Where did she go?Lindsey was riding me harder now, her pussy gripping my cock. She was so wet, I could feel her lubricating my cock with every thrust of her hips. The fluids were running down my balls as she kept grinding away. The heat coming out of her was like nothing I had ever felt before and I felt the cum building up in my balls. Lindsey was quiet but riding me harder when she leaned back, tossing her hair behind her and giving me an unobstructed view of her tits and tight body.That's when it hit me. For the first time, I was able to see the tell-tale red flush on her chest, shoulders and neck through the thin, white shirt."Babe....." I moaned."Mmmmmmm.....I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out." Tara said, "You like? Or is this too weird?""Untie me, now. I'll show you." Tara reached up and released the loops around my wrists. Once my hands were free, they went right to her top, ripping the white blouse open. Buttons flew everywhere and I mauled her tits as she increased her speed on me.All the build-up and activity caught up to us at the same time. Just as I started to feel my cock release itself deep inside her, Tara started some deep guttural moans that ran through her body. She trembled, moaned and started thrashing on my cock.If it weren't for the fact we were in a remote cabin, we would have woken every neighbor around us. Tara was screaming and digging her nails into my chest. I shot stream after stream of cum into her pussy, thrusting up trying to milk the most out of both of our orgasms.Tara collapsed on to my chest as we gathered our breath back. I started to shift so I could go to the bathroom when she stopped me."Hold on. I have to do one thing."Tara reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. She wrapped her leg over my crotch and spread out her skirt a bit. She took what was left of her blouse and covered her exposed tits as she cuddled up against me. She aimed the camera into the mirror at the foot of the bed and snapped a picture.Once she was happy with her picture, I saw her send a text to Lindsey, "Meant to tell you I borrowed some of your clothes! Next time I'm home, I'll trade you for my black shirt back. April Fools!"She hit send, we both used the rest room and returned to the bed. Exhausted from everything, we both collapsed into a deep sleep.------------The first problem with a night of crazy, passionate sex in a romantic cabin, complete with toys, booze and bondage? Before you pass out, you don't think of things like pulling all the blinds and curtains closed. So, after the aforementioned night, I woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room from multiple openings. I looked over to see Tara sprawled face down on the other side of the bed, but somehow she had found the sleep mask we had used the night before and she was using it for the intended reason -- to block out the light and get some sleep.I stumbled naked out of the bed, and started working my way around the room, trying to close as many of the blinds as I could. Even my best efforts resulted in the room being slightly darker, but nowhere near sleep-quality darkness. That's when I noticed the second problem with a passionate night in the cabin -- the leftover scents and smells.The room was filled with the sensory remnants of the night before, the burnt-out fireplace, cherry lubricant, lotions, stale prosecco, and of course, sex. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and wandered back to the bed. I picked up my phone to see that it was only 6:45 in the morning and flopped back into the bed, burying my head between some pillows to get some sleep.After what felt like only a few minutes, I felt Tara stirring next to me. I groaned and lifted my head to see that it was actually 9:30. My movements alerted Tara that I was awake and I heard her husky morning voice, "Morning, babe. Did I wake you?""No. I was up earlier but managed to get back to sleep. Did you happen to ask what time checkout is today?"Tara got out of bed and walked over the table where she had dropped our packet of information when we arrived. Her hair was a tousled mess, but I focused more on the movement of her ass as she walked across the room. From the bed, I could see her breasts lightly bounce as bent over to pick up the paperwork and walk back to the bed."Well, we missed breakfast. That ended at 9:00." she read as she sat down, "Checkout is at 11. I'm fine if we just want to pack up and hit the road, we can grab an early lunch on the way out. Tara then looked up at our reflection in the weird bed-mirror, "But first, I need to shower. Holy fuck, I'm a mess."She took her hand and gently rubbed the surface of her pussy. "I'm sore, too, but that arousal crème they gave us was unbelievable. I was on fire before you even touched me last night.""That was crazy, babe. What made you think of the whole 'dressing up like your sister' thing?" I asked."It's a long story and we have time in the car, I'll tell you the whole thing." Tara was still gently touching her pussy at this point. Not masterbating by any stretch, but just lazily running her hand over her mostly hairless crotch. "But I really do need a shower, I'm so sticky and gross right now." She glanced over and saw that even her slight movements were making me hard."Tell you what. We do have a little time and since we both need to clean up anyway, why don't you give me a minute or two and meet me in there?"With that, Tara jumped up and started walking toward the bathroom. Her ass seemed to have a little extra swagger as she glanced over her shoulder with a smirk, knowing I was going to be close behind her. I waited a few minutes as I heard the sink run, toilet flush and the shower start. I then made my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth to get rid of my morning breath and started toward the shower.Admittedly, for such a romantic room, the shower was pretty standard. It was slightly oversized, with a large glass door that faced the rest of the bathroom. Through the steamy glass, I could see Tara with her head leaning back into the water, letting the spray cascade down her head and body.I slid into the chamber behind her and started to run my hands up her sides to cup her tits. I moved her wet hair over her shoulder so I could start kissing the back of her neck as ground my cock against her ass. Tara slid forward a bit to let the hot water wash over me as she grabbed for the bar of soap in the soap dish."Here" she said, "wash my back." Tara handed me bar of soap and I used it to start washing her back. I built up a lather and worked my way back to her tits. I could feel her nipples tighten under the soap as ran my hands all over her chest. I kept building up more soapy bubbles and started to run one hand down toward her pussy."Babe, I can't. I'm still too sore from last night" she said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from her sex. "Plus, I said you could wash my back." As Tara said it, she pushed back and gyrated her ass against my crotch.Taking the hint, I moved my hands to her back, but this time started working them lower. I used my slippery, soapy hands to massage and caress her ass cheeks. Thanks to our positioning, my cock was getting coated with the soap, too. I took my right hand and started to work my way into the cleft of her ass cheeks. As I started to brush my soapy fingers against Tara's puckered hole, she shifted her weight forward, extended her arms and leaned against the wall of the shower. This pressed her ass against me more and I used more soap to add lubrication to my cock and her hole. When we were both fully lubricated, I gripped my cock in my hand and started to press the head against her asshole.Tara and I were no strangers to anal play and thanks to the amount of soap we used, the head of my cock popped through her tight ring without much resistance. Whenever I slid into her ass, Tara would let loose with what I could only call a guttural moan and this time was no exception.Even though my cock had been sucked and fucked nearly raw the night before, the feeling of her tight ass wrapped around me was amazing. I didn't waste any time and started to thrust in and out of her ass, feeling the falling water splash over us while the wet sounds of flesh slapping together filled the room."Uggghhhh....fuck my ass babe. Make me your little ass whore." Whenever we had anal sex, Tara's sex drive would go into overdrive and she would go from lusty to slutty in seconds. With my slippery hands and the shower water, I was having a problem getting a good grip on her hips and we starting to slip in the shower."C'mon, Jason. Don't stop now. What happened, did I wear you out last night? You're not gonna go soft in my ass are you? Fuck me like you mean it. Dump your cum into my ass, baby."Tara's mouth and dirty talk sent me over the edge. I pulled my dick out of her ass with a pop and whipped open the shower door. I grabbed Tara's soaking wet body and lifted her up and out of the shower. As our feet hit the bathroom floor, I pushed her down on the ground so that she was laying flat with her naked body pressed against the tiles.I spread her ass cheeks one more time and thrusted into her. With the floor under her, I was able to fully work my entire length into her ass. Tara was grunting and moaning with every thrust of my cock. With the bathroom acting as an echo chamber, our cries were reflecting back on us and magnifying our every sound.Just as I felt Tara's body start to shake and tremble under me, I felt my cock start to explode in her. Wave after wave of hot cum poured into her ass. Tara was literally whimpering under me and for a minute I thought I was going to pass out. The explosion of my orgasm, the heat of the shower, and the steam filling the room all had my head spinning. I pulled my softening cock out of Tara's ass and opened the door to the bathroom, letting the cool air pour in. I sat against the doorframe as Tara continued to lay on the floor.After a few minutes, she began to stir. She picked herself up off the floor and got back into the shower. I reached over and wrapped a towel around my waist and started to clean up the room and pack our belongings. When Tara emerged from the shower, I hopped in to clean myself off.Once we were both showered and dressed, we grabbed our bags, checked out of the room and got back in the car. I could tell that Tara was exhausted and wasn't going to be much company on the ride back to school. I drove back, listening to the radio and Tara woke up as we were approaching our university."So, I have to ask" I said. "What was up with you and Lindsay and the outfits?"Tara chuckled, "I figured you weren't going to let that go. Lindsay has always been a tease around guys. As we both get older she gets some weird thrill out of teasing my boyfriends, but she never really does anything serious. Once though, a guy a was dating, Glen, tried to start feeling her up when I wasn't around. She told me and that was it for me and Glen."Every time I've spoken to her over the past month, she's talked about the whole April Fools weekend and that she would have to up her game with you. I thought wearing the blouse at the bar was it, but she went above and beyond. I will tell you, though, she came to me first thing the next day and told me you threw her out. And for the record, she wouldn't have let you fuck her. She would have pushed you to the point, then bailed.""Ok" I said, "But what about you last night wearing her outfit?""Oh! I was walking by the kitchen and saw her standing over you during the party, still teasing you. I was going to let her have it before we left, but when I saw her clothes crumpled up in her room after the party, I got a better idea."For once, I figured out a way to turn her little prank around on her and give you a bit of a treat at the same time. That's why I texted her that picture last night. Besides, you didn't seem to mind." she finished with a smirk."No" I said, "but next time, an even BETTER prank would be actually have your sister take your place, don't you think?"That earned me the final punch in the arm of the trip, the large bruise my souvenir of April Fools Day that year.By TruthWithaTwist for Literotica.

 My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me.By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories."Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule." Tara declared."Thank goodness you're hot" I joked, "Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me." With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive.We got to the resort and it was everything we expected. It was a cheesy resort built for "romance weekends". They did a have a "lodge restaurant" and because it was off-season, we had no problem getting our choice of cabins and were told to come down the restaurant at any time.The guy working the front desk told us that the hot tub on the deck was usable, but suggested that we turn the heat on before dinner if we wanted to use it later. He also mentioned the romance package and asked if he could have it delivered while we dined. He said all of this unironically and without embarrassment.We made the short walk down a path to our cabin and were thrilled with what we found. It was roomy, with an oversized king bed. It had a glossy wooden floor that led to a loveseat, and two chairs that gathered by a large gas fireplace. The bed itself was a wonder to behold. A crimson bedspread was stretched across it. 6 stark white pillows were stacked at the top of the bed with a sort of long, red ribbon holding them all together. The bed itself was made of a wooden frame with large headboard.Just to the right of the bed, was a sliding glass door that went to the enclosed deck and the hot tub. The hot tub faced the lake but was still enclosed by the walls of the deck. There were instructions on the wall, and I got the heater for the hot tub started. As I was getting my bearings, the room behind me went dark for a split-second and suddenly was bathed in red."BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA" said Tara as she started playing with the light switches on a bedstand. One switch bathed the room in red. The next started a sort of "disco-light" effect. Button 3 I ~think~ was light romance...as pastel circles, and blobs sort of migrated across the walls and ceiling."What's that last switchy-thing?" I asked. Tara flipped a switch and we heard a "whirring" motion. From the bottom of the bed, a panel came up revealing a bed-width mirror."Oh, well of course it is!" We both burst into laughter. I tackled Tara and we spilled on to the bed making out and making up for lost time. Hands started to wander. She started to rub my crotch through my jeans, I was working my way up her shirt. As we took a quick pause, I spoke up."Babe. This place is amazing and I want nothing more than to fuck you right now, but I'm starving!!!! Can we go eat and then we have all night to experience the Adventureland theme park in our room?""Absolutely". Tara went into the bathroom to freshen up. For the first time, I reached into my back pocket and found the money Henry had given me. I counted out five crisp $100 bills and was suddenly looking forward to a great meal.We threw our coats back on and walked over the restaurant. We gave the waiter our "dinner coupon" and placed our order. For a half-full resort, in the middle of nowhere, with a porn set for a cottage, the meal was surprisingly good. We started with a Manhattan and a Martini and thanks to the money Henry had slipped me, we splurged on an expensive bottle of wine. We ate and drank and ordered a bottle of Prosecco to take back to the room as we left the restaurant.We stumbled back to our room and keyed back in. On the coffee table was what looked like a large rectangular box of chocolates. Upon opening it, we found out it was our romance package. There were a number of "adult' items, all discretely packaged and wrapped inside. Like a kid on Christmas, Tara began opening each one."Oh! Ok. Cherry flavored lube. That's kinda fun. Next, "Tickle her pink" arousal crème. Alrighty. We've got an Aqua-vibe! Some silicone cock rings. Massage Oil. And.." Tara then held up with great pride.... "A blindfold mask!" For the next few minutes we laughed and opened everything. Slowly, though, the mood went from humorous to sexy. We started to smell, taste and feel everything in the box. Tara got the ball rolling."Why don't I grab those robes, you grab the vibe & the Prosecco and I'll meet you in the hot tub."I stripped down to my boxers and opened the Prosecco. Tara came out wrapped in a robe, holding some towels and handed me the other robe. We opened the sliding door and I lifted the cover off the hot tub. The cold air made the hot tub seem that much hotter, but we slowly lowered ourselves in with a number of "ohs" and "ahs" until we got comfortable,As we soaked and sipped the Prosecco, the stress of the day melted away. Our hands kept wandering, gently touching and stroking each other under the bubbles. Slowly, we started kissing. It was sensual, and exploratory. I started cupping one of her breasts while she started stroking my cock and balls. As our arousal grew, Tara whispered, "Did you bring that vibe?"I reached up and grabbed the small vibe off the edge of the tub. It looked like a small blue insect -- 3 inches long with two antennae at one end. Once the vibe was turned on, the antennae started to shake and vibrate. I moved the toy under the water and started using them on her nipples that were just under the surface. Tara moaned slightly and let her head loll back onto the deck's edge. I continued going back and forth between her nipples while I gently nuzzled and kissed her exposed neck. When I thought she was ready, I had the vibe work it's way down her ribcage, eliciting a giggle. The giggling stopped when I reached her crotch. I gently pushed her legs apart and started working the vibe over her clit.. It wasn't a toy that was meant for insertion, so I figured out a way to maintain my grip with my thumb and two fingers while inserting my ring and pinkie fingers slightly insider her. It all had the desired effect. Within a few minutes, I started to see the familiar red blotches on her shoulders and cheeks, telling me she was close. I kept up the motions until she started to come.The waters started to splash as Tara's hips flexed and shook. "Uh........uh.....yes.......fuck.........don't.........keep.......yes......fuck......ah"I moved the vibe away and let Tara catch her breath. As she started to come down from her high, she said, "Let's go inside and I can return the favor." We got out, jumped into our robes, and went inside."Lay some clean towels down in front of the fire." I followed her instructions and watched her grab the flavored lube. "Now, lay down."I laid on my back by the fire and kept my eyes on Tara's amazing body. Her tits were still moist from the hot tub & her pussy swollen from her recent orgasm. As she stepped toward me, she opened the Cherry lube and began spreading it over her pussy. Once she was sufficiently covered, she took two fingers and started spreading it inside herself. She came over to me, poured a palmful of the fluid into her hand and started rubbing it up and down my erect cock. Once she was satisfied, she swung her legs over my head and pushed her cherry covered cunt on to my face. I took the hint and began licking and sucking. Tara wasted no time as she dropped down on to my cock and began licking off the lube. I was trying hard to breathe while still focusing on licking my way up and down her outer lips. As I worked my way around, I would shift up and gently start licking her clit. Every time I did, I noticed that her efforts on my cock increased. Figuring out that increasing her pleasure could increase my own -- I took my tongue and drove it as far into her pussy as a I could.It had the desired effect. Tara moaned around my cock and drove her mouth down to my balls. I could feel her tongue licking my shaft as she sucked down on my entire length. It quickly became too much for me. I grabbed down on her ass and pulled her pussy into my mouth. I latched onto her clit creating a vacuum suction while I rapidly licked it with the tip of my tongue. Tara's hips began to shake and she moaned even more. The moaning around my cock was like a tight, vibrating sheath that sent me over the edge. I exploded into her mouth and heard a cacophony of noises. My own moans, her moans, the sound of her gulping down the milky load, our combined mouths gasping for breath.....followed by two huge contented sighs.After getting her breath back, Tara spun herself around and settled into the crook of my arm & shoulder. We lay together, content and satiated. Then, slowly, we realized that our mouths were both covered in each others juices and cherry lube....and it was getting kind of gross. Tara told me to go clean off a bit. As I looked at the clock, I realized it was only 11:00, not 2am as I was expecting. I went into the bathroom, got some hot water running and soaked a washcloth in soap and the water. I washed off my face a few times until the combined stickiness was gone. Then, I got the sticky lube off my crotch as best I could. I was considering hopping in the shower real quick, when Tara started knocking on the door."You almost done? I gotta pee and brush my teeth.""Yup. Two seconds." I brushed my teeth and let my girlfriend by with a quick smack on the ass.I threw on my robe, poured some more Prosecco, and laid on the bed. Admittedly, between the drinks and wine at dinner, plus the Prosecco, I was still riding the line of "buzzed" and "drunk". Add in the sudden activity and I was worn out. "You mind if I turn on the TV, babe?""Not at all! I could use a little break" she yelled back through the bathroom door.I flipped around and found a cable show with an annoying couple trying to buy a 4-bedrrom house on 3 acres and a pool for $237K dollars. Tara came out, climbed onto the bed, and started playing around on her phone.After an episode and a half, I noticed Tara's hand was slowly snaking its way up my leg, under my robe. As she started stroking my cock, encouraging it back to life, she asked if I was ready for another round. I started to roll her over, until she put a hand on my chest."Nope. You've been amazing this weekend. For me, my family, now it's time you get your reward. But....you have to trust me.""Uh.....ok.""Seriously babe. Trust me." With that, she started taking my robe off my shoulders. Once I was naked, she put some pillows under my head and reached over the side of the bed. She grabbed the large ribbon that had been around the pillows and started tying my right wrist to the bed frame (Oh.....THAT'S why they have that ribbon....duh). She swung over me, and started tying my left wrist, so I was spread eagle with my arms. Tara then got up and went over the Romance box."I have to go in the bathroom and get ready. But before that, I want to get VERY ready." With that, she took a good dollup of the arousal gel and spread it over her clit and pussy lips. The reaction was instantaneous. "Oh fuck. That's amazing. It's heating up my pussy. Wow. I need to save this so I can get some more."With that, she went into the bathroom for a few minutes. Fortunately, I could still see Beth and Shawn complaining about the backsplash in the kitchen on the tv show, so I wasn't getting anxious. A few minutes later, Tara came back out with the robe on. "Sorry! For this part, we need one more thing."She walked over and hit the "red light" option on the bedstand. Next, off went the tv and up went the mirror."Babe, I hope you're coming right into bed. Because if you want to kill the mood....leaving me tied up to only stare at my red-bathed cock and balls....that'll do it.""Don't worry. I have a surprise for you, but I don't want you see anything yet. With that, she put the sleep mask over my eyes. I heard her shuffling around, her suitcase unzipping and the bathroom door closing, then something strange happened. I heard the latches on the front door open and I felt a blast of cold air. As goosebumps erupted on my body, I heard the door close and a pair of high heeled shoes walking across our floor. The bathroom door closed again and I thought I heard muffled voices.Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the door open again and I heard Tara say, "OK. Babe, like I said, you did a lot for my entire family and here's your surprise." I then felt movement on the bed and someone straddling me.I felt a pair of wet panties rubbing across my cock. The more the pussy rubbed, the more the juices seemed to flow. All of a sudden, there was a slight shift and I felt Tara's pussy engulf my cock. It felt like Tara had pulled her panties to the side and was grinding her clit against me, while starting to ride my cock with fervor. I didn't remember her wearing panties when we crawled into bed and was surprised she put them back on just to have blindfolded sex.The fact that I couldn't see her and couldn't move my arms to reach out to her multiplied the sensations exponentially. Tara kept alternating her motions. She would slow down, then pick up speed, then she would just stop and grind for a minute. At one point, she just sat there on my cock, and I felt her long hair start to tickle my chest as she licked my nipples. Eventually she started to pick up speed, but she kept me on the edge of coming again and again. Just as I started to moan that I couldn't take much more, the mask was ripped from my face and I saw a sight I would never forget.My alcohol-affected eyes were still blurry, and the room bathed in red which made everything surreal-- but there was Lindsay, in her yellow skirt riding me. She had on her white top from the party, unbuttoned to her navel so I could see her chest and tits perfectly. Looking down into the mirror, I could see her black heels and sure enough, pulled to the side were the purple checkered panties. She was grinding on my cock, rubbing her clit against me while she pumped back and forth. Her long brown hair was down over her face, with her head bent forward and her hands on my chest. The similarities between her and Tara was insane. I felt my cock somehow get even harder which was magnified by the fact that her pussy was absolutely on fire.My still-buzzed mind was going a million miles a second as I tried to take in the crazy scene. My brain rocketed back to the "we share everything" statement at the bar. I thought about the door opening while I was blindfolded. Was this some sisterly April Fools prank going to another level? My eyes were searching the room, looking for Tara. Was she watching? Did Lindsay somehow lock her in the bathroom? Where did she go?Lindsey was riding me harder now, her pussy gripping my cock. She was so wet, I could feel her lubricating my cock with every thrust of her hips. The fluids were running down my balls as she kept grinding away. The heat coming out of her was like nothing I had ever felt before and I felt the cum building up in my balls. Lindsey was quiet but riding me harder when she leaned back, tossing her hair behind her and giving me an unobstructed view of her tits and tight body.That's when it hit me. For the first time, I was able to see the tell-tale red flush on her chest, shoulders and neck through the thin, white shirt."Babe....." I moaned."Mmmmmmm.....I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out." Tara said, "You like? Or is this too weird?""Untie me, now. I'll show you." Tara reached up and released the loops around my wrists. Once my hands were free, they went right to her top, ripping the white blouse open. Buttons flew everywhere and I mauled her tits as she increased her speed on me.All the build-up and activity caught up to us at the same time. Just as I started to feel my cock release itself deep inside her, Tara started some deep guttural moans that ran through her body. She trembled, moaned and started thrashing on my cock.If it weren't for the fact we were in a remote cabin, we would have woken every neighbor around us. Tara was screaming and digging her nails into my chest. I shot stream after stream of cum into her pussy, thrusting up trying to milk the most out of both of our orgasms.Tara collapsed on to my chest as we gathered our breath back. I started to shift so I could go to the bathroom when she stopped me."Hold on. I have to do one thing."Tara reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. She wrapped her leg over my crotch and spread out her skirt a bit. She took what was left of her blouse and covered her exposed tits as she cuddled up against me. She aimed the camera into the mirror at the foot of the bed and snapped a picture.Once she was happy with her picture, I saw her send a text to Lindsey, "Meant to tell you I borrowed some of your clothes! Next time I'm home, I'll trade you for my black shirt back. April Fools!"She hit send, we both used the rest room and returned to the bed. Exhausted from everything, we both collapsed into a deep sleep.------------The first problem with a night of crazy, passionate sex in a romantic cabin, complete with toys, booze and bondage? Before you pass out, you don't think of things like pulling all the blinds and curtains closed. So, after the aforementioned night, I woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room from multiple openings. I looked over to see Tara sprawled face down on the other side of the bed, but somehow she had found the sleep mask we had used the night before and she was using it for the intended reason -- to block out the light and get some sleep.I stumbled naked out of the bed, and started working my way around the room, trying to close as many of the blinds as I could. Even my best efforts resulted in the room being slightly darker, but nowhere near sleep-quality darkness. That's when I noticed the second problem with a passionate night in the cabin -- the leftover scents and smells.The room was filled with the sensory remnants of the night before, the burnt-out fireplace, cherry lubricant, lotions, stale prosecco, and of course, sex. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and wandered back to the bed. I picked up my phone to see that it was only 6:45 in the morning and flopped back into the bed, burying my head between some pillows to get some sleep.After what felt like only a few minutes, I felt Tara stirring next to me. I groaned and lifted my head to see that it was actually 9:30. My movements alerted Tara that I was awake and I heard her husky morning voice, "Morning, babe. Did I wake you?""No. I was up earlier but managed to get back to sleep. Did you happen to ask what time checkout is today?"Tara got out of bed and walked over the table where she had dropped our packet of information when we arrived. Her hair was a tousled mess, but I focused more on the movement of her ass as she walked across the room. From the bed, I could see her breasts lightly bounce as bent over to pick up the paperwork and walk back to the bed."Well, we missed breakfast. That ended at 9:00." she read as she sat down, "Checkout is at 11. I'm fine if we just want to pack up and hit the road, we can grab an early lunch on the way out. Tara then looked up at our reflection in the weird bed-mirror, "But first, I need to shower. Holy fuck, I'm a mess."She took her hand and gently rubbed the surface of her pussy. "I'm sore, too, but that arousal crème they gave us was unbelievable. I was on fire before you even touched me last night.""That was crazy, babe. What made you think of the whole 'dressing up like your sister' thing?" I asked."It's a long story and we have time in the car, I'll tell you the whole thing." Tara was still gently touching her pussy at this point. Not masterbating by any stretch, but just lazily running her hand over her mostly hairless crotch. "But I really do need a shower, I'm so sticky and gross right now." She glanced over and saw that even her slight movements were making me hard."Tell you what. We do have a little time and since we both need to clean up anyway, why don't you give me a minute or two and meet me in there?"With that, Tara jumped up and started walking toward the bathroom. Her ass seemed to have a little extra swagger as she glanced over her shoulder with a smirk, knowing I was going to be close behind her. I waited a few minutes as I heard the sink run, toilet flush and the shower start. I then made my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth to get rid of my morning breath and started toward the shower.Admittedly, for such a romantic room, the shower was pretty standard. It was slightly oversized, with a large glass door that faced the rest of the bathroom. Through the steamy glass, I could see Tara with her head leaning back into the water, letting the spray cascade down her head and body.I slid into the chamber behind her and started to run my hands up her sides to cup her tits. I moved her wet hair over her shoulder so I could start kissing the back of her neck as ground my cock against her ass. Tara slid forward a bit to let the hot water wash over me as she grabbed for the bar of soap in the soap dish."Here" she said, "wash my back." Tara handed me bar of soap and I used it to start washing her back. I built up a lather and worked my way back to her tits. I could feel her nipples tighten under the soap as ran my hands all over her chest. I kept building up more soapy bubbles and started to run one hand down toward her pussy."Babe, I can't. I'm still too sore from last night" she said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from her sex. "Plus, I said you could wash my back." As Tara said it, she pushed back and gyrated her ass against my crotch.Taking the hint, I moved my hands to her back, but this time started working them lower. I used my slippery, soapy hands to massage and caress her ass cheeks. Thanks to our positioning, my cock was getting coated with the soap, too. I took my right hand and started to work my way into the cleft of her ass cheeks. As I started to brush my soapy fingers against Tara's puckered hole, she shifted her weight forward, extended her arms and leaned against the wall of the shower. This pressed her ass against me more and I used more soap to add lubrication to my cock and her hole. When we were both fully lubricated, I gripped my cock in my hand and started to press the head against her asshole.Tara and I were no strangers to anal play and thanks to the amount of soap we used, the head of my cock popped through her tight ring without much resistance. Whenever I slid into her ass, Tara would let loose with what I could only call a guttural moan and this time was no exception.Even though my cock had been sucked and fucked nearly raw the night before, the feeling of her tight ass wrapped around me was amazing. I didn't waste any time and started to thrust in and out of her ass, feeling the falling water splash over us while the wet sounds of flesh slapping together filled the room."Uggghhhh....fuck my ass babe. Make me your little ass whore." Whenever we had anal sex, Tara's sex drive would go into overdrive and she would go from lusty to slutty in seconds. With my slippery hands and the shower water, I was having a problem getting a good grip on her hips and we starting to slip in the shower."C'mon, Jason. Don't stop now. What happened, did I wear you out last night? You're not gonna go soft in my ass are you? Fuck me like you mean it. Dump your cum into my ass, baby."Tara's mouth and dirty talk sent me over the edge. I pulled my dick out of her ass with a pop and whipped open the shower door. I grabbed Tara's soaking wet body and lifted her up and out of the shower. As our feet hit the bathroom floor, I pushed her down on the ground so that she was laying flat with her naked body pressed against the tiles.I spread her ass cheeks one more time and thrusted into her. With the floor under her, I was able to fully work my entire length into her ass. Tara was grunting and moaning with every thrust of my cock. With the bathroom acting as an echo chamber, our cries were reflecting back on us and magnifying our every sound.Just as I felt Tara's body start to shake and tremble under me, I felt my cock start to explode in her. Wave after wave of hot cum poured into her ass. Tara was literally whimpering under me and for a minute I thought I was going to pass out. The explosion of my orgasm, the heat of the shower, and the steam filling the room all had my head spinning. I pulled my softening cock out of Tara's ass and opened the door to the bathroom, letting the cool air pour in. I sat against the doorframe as Tara continued to lay on the floor.After a few minutes, she began to stir. She picked herself up off the floor and got back into the shower. I reached over and wrapped a towel around my waist and started to clean up the room and pack our belongings. When Tara emerged from the shower, I hopped in to clean myself off.Once we were both showered and dressed, we grabbed our bags, checked out of the room and got back in the car. I could tell that Tara was exhausted and wasn't going to be much company on the ride back to school. I drove back, listening to the radio and Tara woke up as we were approaching our university."So, I have to ask" I said. "What was up with you and Lindsay and the outfits?"Tara chuckled, "I figured you weren't going to let that go. Lindsay has always been a tease around guys. As we both get older she gets some weird thrill out of teasing my boyfriends, but she never really does anything serious. Once though, a guy a was dating, Glen, tried to start feeling her up when I wasn't around. She told me and that was it for me and Glen."Every time I've spoken to her over the past month, she's talked about the whole April Fools weekend and that she would have to up her game with you. I thought wearing the blouse at the bar was it, but she went above and beyond. I will tell you, though, she came to me first thing the next day and told me you threw her out. And for the record, she wouldn't have let you fuck her. She would have pushed you to the point, then bailed.""Ok" I said, "But what about you last night wearing her outfit?""Oh! I was walking by the kitchen and saw her standing over you during the party, still teasing you. I was going to let her have it before we left, but when I saw her clothes crumpled up in her room after the party, I got a better idea."For once, I figured out a way to turn her little prank around on her and give you a bit of a treat at the same time. That's why I texted her that picture last night. Besides, you didn't seem to mind." she finished with a smirk."No" I said, "but next time, an even BETTER prank would be actually have your sister take your place, don't you think?"That earned me the final punch in the arm of the trip, the large bruise my souvenir of April Fools Day that year.By TruthWithaTwist for Literotica.

 My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. "Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule." Tara declared. "Thank goodness you're hot" I joked, "Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me." With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. [[MORE]] We got to the resort and it was everything we expected. It was a cheesy resort built for "romance weekends". They did a have a "lodge restaurant" and because it was off-season, we had no problem getting our choice of cabins and were told to come down the restaurant at any time. The guy working the front desk told us that the hot tub on the deck was usable, but suggested that we turn the heat on before dinner if we wanted to use it later. He also mentioned the romance package and asked if he could have it delivered while we dined. He said all of this unironically and without embarrassment. We made the short walk down a path to our cabin and were thrilled with what we found. It was roomy, with an oversized king bed. It had a glossy wooden floor that led to a loveseat, and two chairs that gathered by a large gas fireplace. The bed itself was a wonder to behold. A crimson bedspread was stretched across it. 6 stark white pillows were stacked at the top of the bed with a sort of long, red ribbon holding them all together. The bed itself was made of a wooden frame with large headboard. Just to the right of the bed, was a sliding glass door that went to the enclosed deck and the hot tub. The hot tub faced the lake but was still enclosed by the walls of the deck. There were instructions on the wall, and I got the heater for the hot tub started. As I was getting my bearings, the room behind me went dark for a split-second and suddenly was bathed in red. "BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA" said Tara as she started playing with the light switches on a bedstand. One switch bathed the room in red. The next started a sort of "disco-light" effect. Button 3 I ~think~ was light romance...as pastel circles, and blobs sort of migrated across the walls and ceiling. "What's that last switchy-thing?" I asked. Tara flipped a switch and we heard a "whirring" motion. From the bottom of the bed, a panel came up revealing a bed-width mirror. "Oh, well of course it is!" We both burst into laughter. I tackled Tara and we spilled on to the bed making out and making up for lost time. Hands started to wander. She started to rub my crotch through my jeans, I was working my way up her shirt. As we took a quick pause, I spoke up. "Babe. This place is amazing and I want nothing more than to fuck you right now, but I'm starving!!!! Can we go eat and then we have all night to experience the Adventureland theme park in our room?" "Absolutely". Tara went into the bathroom to freshen up. For the first time, I reached into my back pocket and found the money Henry had given me. I counted out five crisp $100 bills and was suddenly looking forward to a great meal. We threw our coats back on and walked over the restaurant. We gave the waiter our "dinner coupon" and placed our order. For a half-full resort, in the middle of nowhere, with a porn set for a cottage, the meal was surprisingly good. We started with a Manhattan and a Martini and thanks to the money Henry had slipped me, we splurged on an expensive bottle of wine. We ate and drank and ordered a bottle of Prosecco to take back to the room as we left the restaurant. We stumbled back to our room and keyed back in. On the coffee table was what looked like a large rectangular box of chocolates. Upon opening it, we found out it was our romance package. There were a number of "adult' items, all discretely packaged and wrapped inside. Like a kid on Christmas, Tara began opening each one. "Oh! Ok. Cherry flavored lube. That's kinda fun. Next, "Tickle her pink" arousal crème. Alrighty. We've got an Aqua-vibe! Some silicone cock rings. Massage Oil. And.." Tara then held up with great pride.... "A blindfold mask!" For the next few minutes we laughed and opened everything. Slowly, though, the mood went from humorous to sexy. We started to smell, taste and feel everything in the box. Tara got the ball rolling. "Why don't I grab those robes, you grab the vibe & the Prosecco and I'll meet you in the hot tub." I stripped down to my boxers and opened the Prosecco. Tara came out wrapped in a robe, holding some towels and handed me the other robe. We opened the sliding door and I lifted the cover off the hot tub. The cold air made the hot tub seem that much hotter, but we slowly lowered ourselves in with a number of "ohs" and "ahs" until we got comfortable, As we soaked and sipped the Prosecco, the stress of the day melted away. Our hands kept wandering, gently touching and stroking each other under the bubbles. Slowly, we started kissing. It was sensual, and exploratory. I started cupping one of her breasts while she started stroking my cock and balls. As our arousal grew, Tara whispered, "Did you bring that vibe?" I reached up and grabbed the small vibe off the edge of the tub. It looked like a small blue insect -- 3 inches long with two antennae at one end. Once the vibe was turned on, the antennae started to shake and vibrate. I moved the toy under the water and started using them on her nipples that were just under the surface. Tara moaned slightly and let her head loll back onto the deck's edge. I continued going back and forth between her nipples while I gently nuzzled and kissed her exposed neck. When I thought she was ready, I had the vibe work it's way down her ribcage, eliciting a giggle. The giggling stopped when I reached her crotch. I gently pushed her legs apart and started working the vibe over her clit.. It wasn't a toy that was meant for insertion, so I figured out a way to maintain my grip with my thumb and two fingers while inserting my ring and pinkie fingers slightly insider her. It all had the desired effect. Within a few minutes, I started to see the familiar red blotches on her shoulders and cheeks, telling me she was close. I kept up the motions until she started to come. The waters started to splash as Tara's hips flexed and shook. "Uh........uh.....yes.......fuck.........don't.........keep.......yes......fuck......ah" I moved the vibe away and let Tara catch her breath. As she started to come down from her high, she said, "Let's go inside and I can return the favor." We got out, jumped into our robes, and went inside. "Lay some clean towels down in front of the fire." I followed her instructions and watched her grab the flavored lube. "Now, lay down." I laid on my back by the fire and kept my eyes on Tara's amazing body. Her tits were still moist from the hot tub & her pussy swollen from her recent orgasm. As she stepped toward me, she opened the Cherry lube and began spreading it over her pussy. Once she was sufficiently covered, she took two fingers and started spreading it inside herself. She came over to me, poured a palmful of the fluid into her hand and started rubbing it up and down my erect cock. Once she was satisfied, she swung her legs over my head and pushed her cherry covered cunt on to my face. I took the hint and began licking and sucking. Tara wasted no time as she dropped down on to my cock and began licking off the lube. I was trying hard to breathe while still focusing on licking my way up and down her outer lips. As I worked my way around, I would shift up and gently start licking her clit. Every time I did, I noticed that her efforts on my cock increased. Figuring out that increasing her pleasure could increase my own -- I took my tongue and drove it as far into her pussy as a I could. It had the desired effect. Tara moaned around my cock and drove her mouth down to my balls. I could feel her tongue licking my shaft as she sucked down on my entire length. It quickly became too much for me. I grabbed down on her ass and pulled her pussy into my mouth. I latched onto her clit creating a vacuum suction while I rapidly licked it with the tip of my tongue. Tara's hips began to shake and she moaned even more. The moaning around my cock was like a tight, vibrating sheath that sent me over the edge. I exploded into her mouth and heard a cacophony of noises. My own moans, her moans, the sound of her gulping down the milky load, our combined mouths gasping for breath.....followed by two huge contented sighs. After getting her breath back, Tara spun herself around and settled into the crook of my arm & shoulder. We lay together, content and satiated. Then, slowly, we realized that our mouths were both covered in each others juices and cherry lube....and it was getting kind of gross. Tara told me to go clean off a bit. As I looked at the clock, I realized it was only 11:00, not 2am as I was expecting. I went into the bathroom, got some hot water running and soaked a washcloth in soap and the water. I washed off my face a few times until the combined stickiness was gone. Then, I got the sticky lube off my crotch as best I could. I was considering hopping in the shower real quick, when Tara started knocking on the door. "You almost done? I gotta pee and brush my teeth." "Yup. Two seconds." I brushed my teeth and let my girlfriend by with a quick smack on the ass. I threw on my robe, poured some more Prosecco, and laid on the bed. Admittedly, between the drinks and wine at dinner, plus the Prosecco, I was still riding the line of "buzzed" and "drunk". Add in the sudden activity and I was worn out. "You mind if I turn on the TV, babe?" "Not at all! I could use a little break" she yelled back through the bathroom door. I flipped around and found a cable show with an annoying couple trying to buy a 4-bedrrom house on 3 acres and a pool for $237K dollars. Tara came out, climbed onto the bed, and started playing around on her phone. After an episode and a half, I noticed Tara's hand was slowly snaking its way up my leg, under my robe. As she started stroking my cock, encouraging it back to life, she asked if I was ready for another round. I started to roll her over, until she put a hand on my chest. "Nope. You've been amazing this weekend. For me, my family, now it's time you get your reward. But....you have to trust me." "Uh.....ok." "Seriously babe. Trust me." With that, she started taking my robe off my shoulders. Once I was naked, she put some pillows under my head and reached over the side of the bed. She grabbed the large ribbon that had been around the pillows and started tying my right wrist to the bed frame (Oh.....THAT'S why they have that ribbon....duh). She swung over me, and started tying my left wrist, so I was spread eagle with my arms. Tara then got up and went over the Romance box. "I have to go in the bathroom and get ready. But before that, I want to get VERY ready." With that, she took a good dollup of the arousal gel and spread it over her clit and pussy lips. The reaction was instantaneous. "Oh fuck. That's amazing. It's heating up my pussy. Wow. I need to save this so I can get some more." With that, she went into the bathroom for a few minutes. Fortunately, I could still see Beth and Shawn complaining about the backsplash in the kitchen on the tv show, so I wasn't getting anxious. A few minutes later, Tara came back out with the robe on. "Sorry! For this part, we need one more thing." She walked over and hit the "red light" option on the bedstand. Next, off went the tv and up went the mirror. "Babe, I hope you're coming right into bed. Because if you want to kill the mood....leaving me tied up to only stare at my red-bathed cock and balls....that'll do it." "Don't worry. I have a surprise for you, but I don't want you see anything yet. With that, she put the sleep mask over my eyes. I heard her shuffling around, her suitcase unzipping and the bathroom door closing, then something strange happened. I heard the latches on the front door open and I felt a blast of cold air. As goosebumps erupted on my body, I heard the door close and a pair of high heeled shoes walking across our floor. The bathroom door closed again and I thought I heard muffled voices. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the door open again and I heard Tara say, "OK. Babe, like I said, you did a lot for my entire family and here's your surprise." I then felt movement on the bed and someone straddling me. I felt a pair of wet panties rubbing across my cock. The more the pussy rubbed, the more the juices seemed to flow. All of a sudden, there was a slight shift and I felt Tara's pussy engulf my cock. It felt like Tara had pulled her panties to the side and was grinding her clit against me, while starting to ride my cock with fervor. I didn't remember her wearing panties when we crawled into bed and was surprised she put them back on just to have blindfolded sex. The fact that I couldn't see her and couldn't move my arms to reach out to her multiplied the sensations exponentially. Tara kept alternating her motions. She would slow down, then pick up speed, then she would just stop and grind for a minute. At one point, she just sat there on my cock, and I felt her long hair start to tickle my chest as she licked my nipples. Eventually she started to pick up speed, but she kept me on the edge of coming again and again. Just as I started to moan that I couldn't take much more, the mask was ripped from my face and I saw a sight I would never forget. My alcohol-affected eyes were still blurry, and the room bathed in red which made everything surreal-- but there was Lindsay, in her yellow skirt riding me. She had on her white top from the party, unbuttoned to her navel so I could see her chest and tits perfectly. Looking down into the mirror, I could see her black heels and sure enough, pulled to the side were the purple checkered panties. She was grinding on my cock, rubbing her clit against me while she pumped back and forth. Her long brown hair was down over her face, with her head bent forward and her hands on my chest. The similarities between her and Tara was insane. I felt my cock somehow get even harder which was magnified by the fact that her pussy was absolutely on fire. My still-buzzed mind was going a million miles a second as I tried to take in the crazy scene. My brain rocketed back to the "we share everything" statement at the bar. I thought about the door opening while I was blindfolded. Was this some sisterly April Fools prank going to another level? My eyes were searching the room, looking for Tara. Was she watching? Did Lindsay somehow lock her in the bathroom? Where did she go? Lindsey was riding me harder now, her pussy gripping my cock. She was so wet, I could feel her lubricating my cock with every thrust of her hips. The fluids were running down my balls as she kept grinding away. The heat coming out of her was like nothing I had ever felt before and I felt the cum building up in my balls. Lindsey was quiet but riding me harder when she leaned back, tossing her hair behind her and giving me an unobstructed view of her tits and tight body. That's when it hit me. For the first time, I was able to see the tell-tale red flush on her chest, shoulders and neck through the thin, white shirt. "Babe....." I moaned. "Mmmmmmm.....I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out." Tara said, "You like? Or is this too weird?" "Untie me, now. I'll show you." Tara reached up and released the loops around my wrists. Once my hands were free, they went right to her top, ripping the white blouse open. Buttons flew everywhere and I mauled her tits as she increased her speed on me. All the build-up and activity caught up to us at the same time. Just as I started to feel my cock release itself deep inside her, Tara started some deep guttural moans that ran through her body. She trembled, moaned and started thrashing on my cock. If it weren't for the fact we were in a remote cabin, we would have woken every neighbor around us. Tara was screaming and digging her nails into my chest. I shot stream after stream of cum into her pussy, thrusting up trying to milk the most out of both of our orgasms. Tara collapsed on to my chest as we gathered our breath back. I started to shift so I could go to the bathroom when she stopped me. "Hold on. I have to do one thing." Tara reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. She wrapped her leg over my crotch and spread out her skirt a bit. She took what was left of her blouse and covered her exposed tits as she cuddled up against me. She aimed the camera into the mirror at the foot of the bed and snapped a picture. Once she was happy with her picture, I saw her send a text to Lindsey, "Meant to tell you I borrowed some of your clothes! Next time I'm home, I'll trade you for my black shirt back. April Fools!" She hit send, we both used the rest room and returned to the bed. Exhausted from everything, we both collapsed into a deep sleep. ------------ The first problem with a night of crazy, passionate sex in a romantic cabin, complete with toys, booze and bondage? Before you pass out, you don't think of things like pulling all the blinds and curtains closed. So, after the aforementioned night, I woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room from multiple openings. I looked over to see Tara sprawled face down on the other side of the bed, but somehow she had found the sleep mask we had used the night before and she was using it for the intended reason -- to block out the light and get some sleep. I stumbled naked out of the bed, and started working my way around the room, trying to close as many of the blinds as I could. Even my best efforts resulted in the room being slightly darker, but nowhere near sleep-quality darkness. That's when I noticed the second problem with a passionate night in the cabin -- the leftover scents and smells. The room was filled with the sensory remnants of the night before, the burnt-out fireplace, cherry lubricant, lotions, stale prosecco, and of course, sex. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and wandered back to the bed. I picked up my phone to see that it was only 6:45 in the morning and flopped back into the bed, burying my head between some pillows to get some sleep. After what felt like only a few minutes, I felt Tara stirring next to me. I groaned and lifted my head to see that it was actually 9:30. My movements alerted Tara that I was awake and I heard her husky morning voice, "Morning, babe. Did I wake you?" "No. I was up earlier but managed to get back to sleep. Did you happen to ask what time checkout is today?" Tara got out of bed and walked over the table where she had dropped our packet of information when we arrived. Her hair was a tousled mess, but I focused more on the movement of her ass as she walked across the room. From the bed, I could see her breasts lightly bounce as bent over to pick up the paperwork and walk back to the bed. "Well, we missed breakfast. That ended at 9:00." she read as she sat down, "Checkout is at 11. I'm fine if we just want to pack up and hit the road, we can grab an early lunch on the way out. Tara then looked up at our reflection in the weird bed-mirror, "But first, I need to shower. Holy fuck, I'm a mess." She took her hand and gently rubbed the surface of her pussy. "I'm sore, too, but that arousal crème they gave us was unbelievable. I was on fire before you even touched me last night." "That was crazy, babe. What made you think of the whole 'dressing up like your sister' thing?" I asked. "It's a long story and we have time in the car, I'll tell you the whole thing." Tara was still gently touching her pussy at this point. Not masterbating by any stretch, but just lazily running her hand over her mostly hairless crotch. "But I really do need a shower, I'm so sticky and gross right now." She glanced over and saw that even her slight movements were making me hard. "Tell you what. We do have a little time and since we both need to clean up anyway, why don't you give me a minute or two and meet me in there?" With that, Tara jumped up and started walking toward the bathroom. Her ass seemed to have a little extra swagger as she glanced over her shoulder with a smirk, knowing I was going to be close behind her. I waited a few minutes as I heard the sink run, toilet flush and the shower start. I then made my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth to get rid of my morning breath and started toward the shower. Admittedly, for such a romantic room, the shower was pretty standard. It was slightly oversized, with a large glass door that faced the rest of the bathroom. Through the steamy glass, I could see Tara with her head leaning back into the water, letting the spray cascade down her head and body. I slid into the chamber behind her and started to run my hands up her sides to cup her tits. I moved her wet hair over her shoulder so I could start kissing the back of her neck as ground my cock against her ass. Tara slid forward a bit to let the hot water wash over me as she grabbed for the bar of soap in the soap dish. "Here" she said, "wash my back." Tara handed me bar of soap and I used it to start washing her back. I built up a lather and worked my way back to her tits. I could feel her nipples tighten under the soap as ran my hands all over her chest. I kept building up more soapy bubbles and started to run one hand down toward her pussy. "Babe, I can't. I'm still too sore from last night" she said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from her sex. "Plus, I said you could wash my back." As Tara said it, she pushed back and gyrated her ass against my crotch. Taking the hint, I moved my hands to her back, but this time started working them lower. I used my slippery, soapy hands to massage and caress her ass cheeks. Thanks to our positioning, my cock was getting coated with the soap, too. I took my right hand and started to work my way into the cleft of her ass cheeks. As I started to brush my soapy fingers against Tara's puckered hole, she shifted her weight forward, extended her arms and leaned against the wall of the shower. This pressed her ass against me more and I used more soap to add lubrication to my cock and her hole. When we were both fully lubricated, I gripped my cock in my hand and started to press the head against her asshole. Tara and I were no strangers to anal play and thanks to the amount of soap we used, the head of my cock popped through her tight ring without much resistance. Whenever I slid into her ass, Tara would let loose with what I could only call a guttural moan and this time was no exception. Even though my cock had been sucked and fucked nearly raw the night before, the feeling of her tight ass wrapped around me was amazing. I didn't waste any time and started to thrust in and out of her ass, feeling the falling water splash over us while the wet sounds of flesh slapping together filled the room. "Uggghhhh....fuck my ass babe. Make me your little ass whore." Whenever we had anal sex, Tara's sex drive would go into overdrive and she would go from lusty to slutty in seconds. With my slippery hands and the shower water, I was having a problem getting a good grip on her hips and we starting to slip in the shower. "C'mon, Jason. Don't stop now. What happened, did I wear you out last night? You're not gonna go soft in my ass are you? Fuck me like you mean it. Dump your cum into my ass, baby." Tara's mouth and dirty talk sent me over the edge. I pulled my dick out of her ass with a pop and whipped open the shower door. I grabbed Tara's soaking wet body and lifted her up and out of the shower. As our feet hit the bathroom floor, I pushed her down on the ground so that she was laying flat with her naked body pressed against the tiles. I spread her ass cheeks one more time and thrusted into her. With the floor under her, I was able to fully work my entire length into her ass. Tara was grunting and moaning with every thrust of my cock. With the bathroom acting as an echo chamber, our cries were reflecting back on us and magnifying our every sound. Just as I felt Tara's body start to shake and tremble under me, I felt my cock start to explode in her. Wave after wave of hot cum poured into her ass. Tara was literally whimpering under me and for a minute I thought I was going to pass out. The explosion of my orgasm, the heat of the shower, and the steam filling the room all had my head spinning. I pulled my softening cock out of Tara's ass and opened the door to the bathroom, letting the cool air pour in. I sat against the doorframe as Tara continued to lay on the floor. After a few minutes, she began to stir. She picked herself up off the floor and got back into the shower. I reached over and wrapped a towel around my waist and started to clean up the room and pack our belongings. When Tara emerged from the shower, I hopped in to clean myself off. Once we were both showered and dressed, we grabbed our bags, checked out of the room and got back in the car. I could tell that Tara was exhausted and wasn't going to be much company on the ride back to school. I drove back, listening to the radio and Tara woke up as we were approaching our university. "So, I have to ask" I said. "What was up with you and Lindsay and the outfits?" Tara chuckled, "I figured you weren't going to let that go. Lindsay has always been a tease around guys. As we both get older she gets some weird thrill out of teasing my boyfriends, but she never really does anything serious. Once though, a guy a was dating, Glen, tried to start feeling her up when I wasn't around. She told me and that was it for me and Glen. "Every time I've spoken to her over the past month, she's talked about the whole April Fools weekend and that she would have to up her game with you. I thought wearing the blouse at the bar was it, but she went above and beyond. I will tell you, though, she came to me first thing the next day and told me you threw her out. And for the record, she wouldn't have let you fuck her. She would have pushed you to the point, then bailed." "Ok" I said, "But what about you last night wearing her outfit?" "Oh! I was walking by the kitchen and saw her standing over you during the party, still teasing you. I was going to let her have it before we left, but when I saw her clothes crumpled up in her room after the party, I got a better idea. "For once, I figured out a way to turn her little prank around on her and give you a bit of a treat at the same time. That's why I texted her that picture last night. Besides, you didn't seem to mind." she finished with a smirk. "No" I said, "but next time, an even BETTER prank would be actually have your sister take your place, don't you think?" That earned me the final punch in the arm of the trip, the large bruise my souvenir of April Fools Day that year. By TruthWithaTwist for Literotica.

 My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. "Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule." Tara declared. "Thank goodness you're hot" I joked, "Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me." With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. [[MORE]] We got to the resort and it was everything we expected. It was a cheesy resort built for "romance weekends". They did a have a "lodge restaurant" and because it was off-season, we had no problem getting our choice of cabins and were told to come down the restaurant at any time. The guy working the front desk told us that the hot tub on the deck was usable, but suggested that we turn the heat on before dinner if we wanted to use it later. He also mentioned the romance package and asked if he could have it delivered while we dined. He said all of this unironically and without embarrassment. We made the short walk down a path to our cabin and were thrilled with what we found. It was roomy, with an oversized king bed. It had a glossy wooden floor that led to a loveseat, and two chairs that gathered by a large gas fireplace. The bed itself was a wonder to behold. A crimson bedspread was stretched across it. 6 stark white pillows were stacked at the top of the bed with a sort of long, red ribbon holding them all together. The bed itself was made of a wooden frame with large headboard. Just to the right of the bed, was a sliding glass door that went to the enclosed deck and the hot tub. The hot tub faced the lake but was still enclosed by the walls of the deck. There were instructions on the wall, and I got the heater for the hot tub started. As I was getting my bearings, the room behind me went dark for a split-second and suddenly was bathed in red. "BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA" said Tara as she started playing with the light switches on a bedstand. One switch bathed the room in red. The next started a sort of "disco-light" effect. Button 3 I ~think~ was light romance...as pastel circles, and blobs sort of migrated across the walls and ceiling. "What's that last switchy-thing?" I asked. Tara flipped a switch and we heard a "whirring" motion. From the bottom of the bed, a panel came up revealing a bed-width mirror. "Oh, well of course it is!" We both burst into laughter. I tackled Tara and we spilled on to the bed making out and making up for lost time. Hands started to wander. She started to rub my crotch through my jeans, I was working my way up her shirt. As we took a quick pause, I spoke up. "Babe. This place is amazing and I want nothing more than to fuck you right now, but I'm starving!!!! Can we go eat and then we have all night to experience the Adventureland theme park in our room?" "Absolutely". Tara went into the bathroom to freshen up. For the first time, I reached into my back pocket and found the money Henry had given me. I counted out five crisp $100 bills and was suddenly looking forward to a great meal. We threw our coats back on and walked over the restaurant. We gave the waiter our "dinner coupon" and placed our order. For a half-full resort, in the middle of nowhere, with a porn set for a cottage, the meal was surprisingly good. We started with a Manhattan and a Martini and thanks to the money Henry had slipped me, we splurged on an expensive bottle of wine. We ate and drank and ordered a bottle of Prosecco to take back to the room as we left the restaurant. We stumbled back to our room and keyed back in. On the coffee table was what looked like a large rectangular box of chocolates. Upon opening it, we found out it was our romance package. There were a number of "adult' items, all discretely packaged and wrapped inside. Like a kid on Christmas, Tara began opening each one. "Oh! Ok. Cherry flavored lube. That's kinda fun. Next, "Tickle her pink" arousal crème. Alrighty. We've got an Aqua-vibe! Some silicone cock rings. Massage Oil. And.." Tara then held up with great pride.... "A blindfold mask!" For the next few minutes we laughed and opened everything. Slowly, though, the mood went from humorous to sexy. We started to smell, taste and feel everything in the box. Tara got the ball rolling. "Why don't I grab those robes, you grab the vibe & the Prosecco and I'll meet you in the hot tub." I stripped down to my boxers and opened the Prosecco. Tara came out wrapped in a robe, holding some towels and handed me the other robe. We opened the sliding door and I lifted the cover off the hot tub. The cold air made the hot tub seem that much hotter, but we slowly lowered ourselves in with a number of "ohs" and "ahs" until we got comfortable, As we soaked and sipped the Prosecco, the stress of the day melted away. Our hands kept wandering, gently touching and stroking each other under the bubbles. Slowly, we started kissing. It was sensual, and exploratory. I started cupping one of her breasts while she started stroking my cock and balls. As our arousal grew, Tara whispered, "Did you bring that vibe?" I reached up and grabbed the small vibe off the edge of the tub. It looked like a small blue insect -- 3 inches long with two antennae at one end. Once the vibe was turned on, the antennae started to shake and vibrate. I moved the toy under the water and started using them on her nipples that were just under the surface. Tara moaned slightly and let her head loll back onto the deck's edge. I continued going back and forth between her nipples while I gently nuzzled and kissed her exposed neck. When I thought she was ready, I had the vibe work it's way down her ribcage, eliciting a giggle. The giggling stopped when I reached her crotch. I gently pushed her legs apart and started working the vibe over her clit.. It wasn't a toy that was meant for insertion, so I figured out a way to maintain my grip with my thumb and two fingers while inserting my ring and pinkie fingers slightly insider her. It all had the desired effect. Within a few minutes, I started to see the familiar red blotches on her shoulders and cheeks, telling me she was close. I kept up the motions until she started to come. The waters started to splash as Tara's hips flexed and shook. "Uh........uh.....yes.......fuck.........don't.........keep.......yes......fuck......ah" I moved the vibe away and let Tara catch her breath. As she started to come down from her high, she said, "Let's go inside and I can return the favor." We got out, jumped into our robes, and went inside. "Lay some clean towels down in front of the fire." I followed her instructions and watched her grab the flavored lube. "Now, lay down." I laid on my back by the fire and kept my eyes on Tara's amazing body. Her tits were still moist from the hot tub & her pussy swollen from her recent orgasm. As she stepped toward me, she opened the Cherry lube and began spreading it over her pussy. Once she was sufficiently covered, she took two fingers and started spreading it inside herself. She came over to me, poured a palmful of the fluid into her hand and started rubbing it up and down my erect cock. Once she was satisfied, she swung her legs over my head and pushed her cherry covered cunt on to my face. I took the hint and began licking and sucking. Tara wasted no time as she dropped down on to my cock and began licking off the lube. I was trying hard to breathe while still focusing on licking my way up and down her outer lips. As I worked my way around, I would shift up and gently start licking her clit. Every time I did, I noticed that her efforts on my cock increased. Figuring out that increasing her pleasure could increase my own -- I took my tongue and drove it as far into her pussy as a I could. It had the desired effect. Tara moaned around my cock and drove her mouth down to my balls. I could feel her tongue licking my shaft as she sucked down on my entire length. It quickly became too much for me. I grabbed down on her ass and pulled her pussy into my mouth. I latched onto her clit creating a vacuum suction while I rapidly licked it with the tip of my tongue. Tara's hips began to shake and she moaned even more. The moaning around my cock was like a tight, vibrating sheath that sent me over the edge. I exploded into her mouth and heard a cacophony of noises. My own moans, her moans, the sound of her gulping down the milky load, our combined mouths gasping for breath.....followed by two huge contented sighs. After getting her breath back, Tara spun herself around and settled into the crook of my arm & shoulder. We lay together, content and satiated. Then, slowly, we realized that our mouths were both covered in each others juices and cherry lube....and it was getting kind of gross. Tara told me to go clean off a bit. As I looked at the clock, I realized it was only 11:00, not 2am as I was expecting. I went into the bathroom, got some hot water running and soaked a washcloth in soap and the water. I washed off my face a few times until the combined stickiness was gone. Then, I got the sticky lube off my crotch as best I could. I was considering hopping in the shower real quick, when Tara started knocking on the door. "You almost done? I gotta pee and brush my teeth." "Yup. Two seconds." I brushed my teeth and let my girlfriend by with a quick smack on the ass. I threw on my robe, poured some more Prosecco, and laid on the bed. Admittedly, between the drinks and wine at dinner, plus the Prosecco, I was still riding the line of "buzzed" and "drunk". Add in the sudden activity and I was worn out. "You mind if I turn on the TV, babe?" "Not at all! I could use a little break" she yelled back through the bathroom door. I flipped around and found a cable show with an annoying couple trying to buy a 4-bedrrom house on 3 acres and a pool for $237K dollars. Tara came out, climbed onto the bed, and started playing around on her phone. After an episode and a half, I noticed Tara's hand was slowly snaking its way up my leg, under my robe. As she started stroking my cock, encouraging it back to life, she asked if I was ready for another round. I started to roll her over, until she put a hand on my chest. "Nope. You've been amazing this weekend. For me, my family, now it's time you get your reward. But....you have to trust me." "Uh.....ok." "Seriously babe. Trust me." With that, she started taking my robe off my shoulders. Once I was naked, she put some pillows under my head and reached over the side of the bed. She grabbed the large ribbon that had been around the pillows and started tying my right wrist to the bed frame (Oh.....THAT'S why they have that ribbon....duh). She swung over me, and started tying my left wrist, so I was spread eagle with my arms. Tara then got up and went over the Romance box. "I have to go in the bathroom and get ready. But before that, I want to get VERY ready." With that, she took a good dollup of the arousal gel and spread it over her clit and pussy lips. The reaction was instantaneous. "Oh fuck. That's amazing. It's heating up my pussy. Wow. I need to save this so I can get some more." With that, she went into the bathroom for a few minutes. Fortunately, I could still see Beth and Shawn complaining about the backsplash in the kitchen on the tv show, so I wasn't getting anxious. A few minutes later, Tara came back out with the robe on. "Sorry! For this part, we need one more thing." She walked over and hit the "red light" option on the bedstand. Next, off went the tv and up went the mirror. "Babe, I hope you're coming right into bed. Because if you want to kill the mood....leaving me tied up to only stare at my red-bathed cock and balls....that'll do it." "Don't worry. I have a surprise for you, but I don't want you see anything yet. With that, she put the sleep mask over my eyes. I heard her shuffling around, her suitcase unzipping and the bathroom door closing, then something strange happened. I heard the latches on the front door open and I felt a blast of cold air. As goosebumps erupted on my body, I heard the door close and a pair of high heeled shoes walking across our floor. The bathroom door closed again and I thought I heard muffled voices. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the door open again and I heard Tara say, "OK. Babe, like I said, you did a lot for my entire family and here's your surprise." I then felt movement on the bed and someone straddling me. I felt a pair of wet panties rubbing across my cock. The more the pussy rubbed, the more the juices seemed to flow. All of a sudden, there was a slight shift and I felt Tara's pussy engulf my cock. It felt like Tara had pulled her panties to the side and was grinding her clit against me, while starting to ride my cock with fervor. I didn't remember her wearing panties when we crawled into bed and was surprised she put them back on just to have blindfolded sex. The fact that I couldn't see her and couldn't move my arms to reach out to her multiplied the sensations exponentially. Tara kept alternating her motions. She would slow down, then pick up speed, then she would just stop and grind for a minute. At one point, she just sat there on my cock, and I felt her long hair start to tickle my chest as she licked my nipples. Eventually she started to pick up speed, but she kept me on the edge of coming again and again. Just as I started to moan that I couldn't take much more, the mask was ripped from my face and I saw a sight I would never forget. My alcohol-affected eyes were still blurry, and the room bathed in red which made everything surreal-- but there was Lindsay, in her yellow skirt riding me. She had on her white top from the party, unbuttoned to her navel so I could see her chest and tits perfectly. Looking down into the mirror, I could see her black heels and sure enough, pulled to the side were the purple checkered panties. She was grinding on my cock, rubbing her clit against me while she pumped back and forth. Her long brown hair was down over her face, with her head bent forward and her hands on my chest. The similarities between her and Tara was insane. I felt my cock somehow get even harder which was magnified by the fact that her pussy was absolutely on fire. My still-buzzed mind was going a million miles a second as I tried to take in the crazy scene. My brain rocketed back to the "we share everything" statement at the bar. I thought about the door opening while I was blindfolded. Was this some sisterly April Fools prank going to another level? My eyes were searching the room, looking for Tara. Was she watching? Did Lindsay somehow lock her in the bathroom? Where did she go? Lindsey was riding me harder now, her pussy gripping my cock. She was so wet, I could feel her lubricating my cock with every thrust of her hips. The fluids were running down my balls as she kept grinding away. The heat coming out of her was like nothing I had ever felt before and I felt the cum building up in my balls. Lindsey was quiet but riding me harder when she leaned back, tossing her hair behind her and giving me an unobstructed view of her tits and tight body. That's when it hit me. For the first time, I was able to see the tell-tale red flush on her chest, shoulders and neck through the thin, white shirt. "Babe....." I moaned. "Mmmmmmm.....I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out." Tara said, "You like? Or is this too weird?" "Untie me, now. I'll show you." Tara reached up and released the loops around my wrists. Once my hands were free, they went right to her top, ripping the white blouse open. Buttons flew everywhere and I mauled her tits as she increased her speed on me. All the build-up and activity caught up to us at the same time. Just as I started to feel my cock release itself deep inside her, Tara started some deep guttural moans that ran through her body. She trembled, moaned and started thrashing on my cock. If it weren't for the fact we were in a remote cabin, we would have woken every neighbor around us. Tara was screaming and digging her nails into my chest. I shot stream after stream of cum into her pussy, thrusting up trying to milk the most out of both of our orgasms. Tara collapsed on to my chest as we gathered our breath back. I started to shift so I could go to the bathroom when she stopped me. "Hold on. I have to do one thing." Tara reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. She wrapped her leg over my crotch and spread out her skirt a bit. She took what was left of her blouse and covered her exposed tits as she cuddled up against me. She aimed the camera into the mirror at the foot of the bed and snapped a picture. Once she was happy with her picture, I saw her send a text to Lindsey, "Meant to tell you I borrowed some of your clothes! Next time I'm home, I'll trade you for my black shirt back. April Fools!" She hit send, we both used the rest room and returned to the bed. Exhausted from everything, we both collapsed into a deep sleep. ------------ The first problem with a night of crazy, passionate sex in a romantic cabin, complete with toys, booze and bondage? Before you pass out, you don't think of things like pulling all the blinds and curtains closed. So, after the aforementioned night, I woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room from multiple openings. I looked over to see Tara sprawled face down on the other side of the bed, but somehow she had found the sleep mask we had used the night before and she was using it for the intended reason -- to block out the light and get some sleep. I stumbled naked out of the bed, and started working my way around the room, trying to close as many of the blinds as I could. Even my best efforts resulted in the room being slightly darker, but nowhere near sleep-quality darkness. That's when I noticed the second problem with a passionate night in the cabin -- the leftover scents and smells. The room was filled with the sensory remnants of the night before, the burnt-out fireplace, cherry lubricant, lotions, stale prosecco, and of course, sex. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and wandered back to the bed. I picked up my phone to see that it was only 6:45 in the morning and flopped back into the bed, burying my head between some pillows to get some sleep. After what felt like only a few minutes, I felt Tara stirring next to me. I groaned and lifted my head to see that it was actually 9:30. My movements alerted Tara that I was awake and I heard her husky morning voice, "Morning, babe. Did I wake you?" "No. I was up earlier but managed to get back to sleep. Did you happen to ask what time checkout is today?" Tara got out of bed and walked over the table where she had dropped our packet of information when we arrived. Her hair was a tousled mess, but I focused more on the movement of her ass as she walked across the room. From the bed, I could see her breasts lightly bounce as bent over to pick up the paperwork and walk back to the bed. "Well, we missed breakfast. That ended at 9:00." she read as she sat down, "Checkout is at 11. I'm fine if we just want to pack up and hit the road, we can grab an early lunch on the way out. Tara then looked up at our reflection in the weird bed-mirror, "But first, I need to shower. Holy fuck, I'm a mess." She took her hand and gently rubbed the surface of her pussy. "I'm sore, too, but that arousal crème they gave us was unbelievable. I was on fire before you even touched me last night." "That was crazy, babe. What made you think of the whole 'dressing up like your sister' thing?" I asked. "It's a long story and we have time in the car, I'll tell you the whole thing." Tara was still gently touching her pussy at this point. Not masterbating by any stretch, but just lazily running her hand over her mostly hairless crotch. "But I really do need a shower, I'm so sticky and gross right now." She glanced over and saw that even her slight movements were making me hard. "Tell you what. We do have a little time and since we both need to clean up anyway, why don't you give me a minute or two and meet me in there?" With that, Tara jumped up and started walking toward the bathroom. Her ass seemed to have a little extra swagger as she glanced over her shoulder with a smirk, knowing I was going to be close behind her. I waited a few minutes as I heard the sink run, toilet flush and the shower start. I then made my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth to get rid of my morning breath and started toward the shower. Admittedly, for such a romantic room, the shower was pretty standard. It was slightly oversized, with a large glass door that faced the rest of the bathroom. Through the steamy glass, I could see Tara with her head leaning back into the water, letting the spray cascade down her head and body. I slid into the chamber behind her and started to run my hands up her sides to cup her tits. I moved her wet hair over her shoulder so I could start kissing the back of her neck as ground my cock against her ass. Tara slid forward a bit to let the hot water wash over me as she grabbed for the bar of soap in the soap dish. "Here" she said, "wash my back." Tara handed me bar of soap and I used it to start washing her back. I built up a lather and worked my way back to her tits. I could feel her nipples tighten under the soap as ran my hands all over her chest. I kept building up more soapy bubbles and started to run one hand down toward her pussy. "Babe, I can't. I'm still too sore from last night" she said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from her sex. "Plus, I said you could wash my back." As Tara said it, she pushed back and gyrated her ass against my crotch. Taking the hint, I moved my hands to her back, but this time started working them lower. I used my slippery, soapy hands to massage and caress her ass cheeks. Thanks to our positioning, my cock was getting coated with the soap, too. I took my right hand and started to work my way into the cleft of her ass cheeks. As I started to brush my soapy fingers against Tara's puckered hole, she shifted her weight forward, extended her arms and leaned against the wall of the shower. This pressed her ass against me more and I used more soap to add lubrication to my cock and her hole. When we were both fully lubricated, I gripped my cock in my hand and started to press the head against her asshole. Tara and I were no strangers to anal play and thanks to the amount of soap we used, the head of my cock popped through her tight ring without much resistance. Whenever I slid into her ass, Tara would let loose with what I could only call a guttural moan and this time was no exception. Even though my cock had been sucked and fucked nearly raw the night before, the feeling of her tight ass wrapped around me was amazing. I didn't waste any time and started to thrust in and out of her ass, feeling the falling water splash over us while the wet sounds of flesh slapping together filled the room. "Uggghhhh....fuck my ass babe. Make me your little ass whore." Whenever we had anal sex, Tara's sex drive would go into overdrive and she would go from lusty to slutty in seconds. With my slippery hands and the shower water, I was having a problem getting a good grip on her hips and we starting to slip in the shower. "C'mon, Jason. Don't stop now. What happened, did I wear you out last night? You're not gonna go soft in my ass are you? Fuck me like you mean it. Dump your cum into my ass, baby." Tara's mouth and dirty talk sent me over the edge. I pulled my dick out of her ass with a pop and whipped open the shower door. I grabbed Tara's soaking wet body and lifted her up and out of the shower. As our feet hit the bathroom floor, I pushed her down on the ground so that she was laying flat with her naked body pressed against the tiles. I spread her ass cheeks one more time and thrusted into her. With the floor under her, I was able to fully work my entire length into her ass. Tara was grunting and moaning with every thrust of my cock. With the bathroom acting as an echo chamber, our cries were reflecting back on us and magnifying our every sound. Just as I felt Tara's body start to shake and tremble under me, I felt my cock start to explode in her. Wave after wave of hot cum poured into her ass. Tara was literally whimpering under me and for a minute I thought I was going to pass out. The explosion of my orgasm, the heat of the shower, and the steam filling the room all had my head spinning. I pulled my softening cock out of Tara's ass and opened the door to the bathroom, letting the cool air pour in. I sat against the doorframe as Tara continued to lay on the floor. After a few minutes, she began to stir. She picked herself up off the floor and got back into the shower. I reached over and wrapped a towel around my waist and started to clean up the room and pack our belongings. When Tara emerged from the shower, I hopped in to clean myself off. Once we were both showered and dressed, we grabbed our bags, checked out of the room and got back in the car. I could tell that Tara was exhausted and wasn't going to be much company on the ride back to school. I drove back, listening to the radio and Tara woke up as we were approaching our university. "So, I have to ask" I said. "What was up with you and Lindsay and the outfits?" Tara chuckled, "I figured you weren't going to let that go. Lindsay has always been a tease around guys. As we both get older she gets some weird thrill out of teasing my boyfriends, but she never really does anything serious. Once though, a guy a was dating, Glen, tried to start feeling her up when I wasn't around. She told me and that was it for me and Glen. "Every time I've spoken to her over the past month, she's talked about the whole April Fools weekend and that she would have to up her game with you. I thought wearing the blouse at the bar was it, but she went above and beyond. I will tell you, though, she came to me first thing the next day and told me you threw her out. And for the record, she wouldn't have let you fuck her. She would have pushed you to the point, then bailed." "Ok" I said, "But what about you last night wearing her outfit?" "Oh! I was walking by the kitchen and saw her standing over you during the party, still teasing you. I was going to let her have it before we left, but when I saw her clothes crumpled up in her room after the party, I got a better idea. "For once, I figured out a way to turn her little prank around on her and give you a bit of a treat at the same time. That's why I texted her that picture last night. Besides, you didn't seem to mind." she finished with a smirk. "No" I said, "but next time, an even BETTER prank would be actually have your sister take your place, don't you think?" That earned me the final punch in the arm of the trip, the large bruise my souvenir of April Fools Day that year. By TruthWithaTwist for Literotica.

 My girlfriend and her sister play dueling practical jokes on me. By TruthWithaTwist. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. "Sisters before Misters. It's the golden rule." Tara declared. "Thank goodness you're hot" I joked, "Because that may be the most fucked-up and lamest thing anyone has ever said to me." With that, we started laughing and settled in for the rest of the drive. [[MORE]] We got to the resort and it was everything we expected. It was a cheesy resort built for "romance weekends". They did a have a "lodge restaurant" and because it was off-season, we had no problem getting our choice of cabins and were told to come down the restaurant at any time. The guy working the front desk told us that the hot tub on the deck was usable, but suggested that we turn the heat on before dinner if we wanted to use it later. He also mentioned the romance package and asked if he could have it delivered while we dined. He said all of this unironically and without embarrassment. We made the short walk down a path to our cabin and were thrilled with what we found. It was roomy, with an oversized king bed. It had a glossy wooden floor that led to a loveseat, and two chairs that gathered by a large gas fireplace. The bed itself was a wonder to behold. A crimson bedspread was stretched across it. 6 stark white pillows were stacked at the top of the bed with a sort of long, red ribbon holding them all together. The bed itself was made of a wooden frame with large headboard. Just to the right of the bed, was a sliding glass door that went to the enclosed deck and the hot tub. The hot tub faced the lake but was still enclosed by the walls of the deck. There were instructions on the wall, and I got the heater for the hot tub started. As I was getting my bearings, the room behind me went dark for a split-second and suddenly was bathed in red. "BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA" said Tara as she started playing with the light switches on a bedstand. One switch bathed the room in red. The next started a sort of "disco-light" effect. Button 3 I ~think~ was light romance...as pastel circles, and blobs sort of migrated across the walls and ceiling. "What's that last switchy-thing?" I asked. Tara flipped a switch and we heard a "whirring" motion. From the bottom of the bed, a panel came up revealing a bed-width mirror. "Oh, well of course it is!" We both burst into laughter. I tackled Tara and we spilled on to the bed making out and making up for lost time. Hands started to wander. She started to rub my crotch through my jeans, I was working my way up her shirt. As we took a quick pause, I spoke up. "Babe. This place is amazing and I want nothing more than to fuck you right now, but I'm starving!!!! Can we go eat and then we have all night to experience the Adventureland theme park in our room?" "Absolutely". Tara went into the bathroom to freshen up. For the first time, I reached into my back pocket and found the money Henry had given me. I counted out five crisp $100 bills and was suddenly looking forward to a great meal. We threw our coats back on and walked over the restaurant. We gave the waiter our "dinner coupon" and placed our order. For a half-full resort, in the middle of nowhere, with a porn set for a cottage, the meal was surprisingly good. We started with a Manhattan and a Martini and thanks to the money Henry had slipped me, we splurged on an expensive bottle of wine. We ate and drank and ordered a bottle of Prosecco to take back to the room as we left the restaurant. We stumbled back to our room and keyed back in. On the coffee table was what looked like a large rectangular box of chocolates. Upon opening it, we found out it was our romance package. There were a number of "adult' items, all discretely packaged and wrapped inside. Like a kid on Christmas, Tara began opening each one. "Oh! Ok. Cherry flavored lube. That's kinda fun. Next, "Tickle her pink" arousal crème. Alrighty. We've got an Aqua-vibe! Some silicone cock rings. Massage Oil. And.." Tara then held up with great pride.... "A blindfold mask!" For the next few minutes we laughed and opened everything. Slowly, though, the mood went from humorous to sexy. We started to smell, taste and feel everything in the box. Tara got the ball rolling. "Why don't I grab those robes, you grab the vibe & the Prosecco and I'll meet you in the hot tub." I stripped down to my boxers and opened the Prosecco. Tara came out wrapped in a robe, holding some towels and handed me the other robe. We opened the sliding door and I lifted the cover off the hot tub. The cold air made the hot tub seem that much hotter, but we slowly lowered ourselves in with a number of "ohs" and "ahs" until we got comfortable, As we soaked and sipped the Prosecco, the stress of the day melted away. Our hands kept wandering, gently touching and stroking each other under the bubbles. Slowly, we started kissing. It was sensual, and exploratory. I started cupping one of her breasts while she started stroking my cock and balls. As our arousal grew, Tara whispered, "Did you bring that vibe?" I reached up and grabbed the small vibe off the edge of the tub. It looked like a small blue insect -- 3 inches long with two antennae at one end. Once the vibe was turned on, the antennae started to shake and vibrate. I moved the toy under the water and started using them on her nipples that were just under the surface. Tara moaned slightly and let her head loll back onto the deck's edge. I continued going back and forth between her nipples while I gently nuzzled and kissed her exposed neck. When I thought she was ready, I had the vibe work it's way down her ribcage, eliciting a giggle. The giggling stopped when I reached her crotch. I gently pushed her legs apart and started working the vibe over her clit.. It wasn't a toy that was meant for insertion, so I figured out a way to maintain my grip with my thumb and two fingers while inserting my ring and pinkie fingers slightly insider her. It all had the desired effect. Within a few minutes, I started to see the familiar red blotches on her shoulders and cheeks, telling me she was close. I kept up the motions until she started to come. The waters started to splash as Tara's hips flexed and shook. "Uh........uh.....yes.......fuck.........don't.........keep.......yes......fuck......ah" I moved the vibe away and let Tara catch her breath. As she started to come down from her high, she said, "Let's go inside and I can return the favor." We got out, jumped into our robes, and went inside. "Lay some clean towels down in front of the fire." I followed her instructions and watched her grab the flavored lube. "Now, lay down." I laid on my back by the fire and kept my eyes on Tara's amazing body. Her tits were still moist from the hot tub & her pussy swollen from her recent orgasm. As she stepped toward me, she opened the Cherry lube and began spreading it over her pussy. Once she was sufficiently covered, she took two fingers and started spreading it inside herself. She came over to me, poured a palmful of the fluid into her hand and started rubbing it up and down my erect cock. Once she was satisfied, she swung her legs over my head and pushed her cherry covered cunt on to my face. I took the hint and began licking and sucking. Tara wasted no time as she dropped down on to my cock and began licking off the lube. I was trying hard to breathe while still focusing on licking my way up and down her outer lips. As I worked my way around, I would shift up and gently start licking her clit. Every time I did, I noticed that her efforts on my cock increased. Figuring out that increasing her pleasure could increase my own -- I took my tongue and drove it as far into her pussy as a I could. It had the desired effect. Tara moaned around my cock and drove her mouth down to my balls. I could feel her tongue licking my shaft as she sucked down on my entire length. It quickly became too much for me. I grabbed down on her ass and pulled her pussy into my mouth. I latched onto her clit creating a vacuum suction while I rapidly licked it with the tip of my tongue. Tara's hips began to shake and she moaned even more. The moaning around my cock was like a tight, vibrating sheath that sent me over the edge. I exploded into her mouth and heard a cacophony of noises. My own moans, her moans, the sound of her gulping down the milky load, our combined mouths gasping for breath.....followed by two huge contented sighs. After getting her breath back, Tara spun herself around and settled into the crook of my arm & shoulder. We lay together, content and satiated. Then, slowly, we realized that our mouths were both covered in each others juices and cherry lube....and it was getting kind of gross. Tara told me to go clean off a bit. As I looked at the clock, I realized it was only 11:00, not 2am as I was expecting. I went into the bathroom, got some hot water running and soaked a washcloth in soap and the water. I washed off my face a few times until the combined stickiness was gone. Then, I got the sticky lube off my crotch as best I could. I was considering hopping in the shower real quick, when Tara started knocking on the door. "You almost done? I gotta pee and brush my teeth." "Yup. Two seconds." I brushed my teeth and let my girlfriend by with a quick smack on the ass. I threw on my robe, poured some more Prosecco, and laid on the bed. Admittedly, between the drinks and wine at dinner, plus the Prosecco, I was still riding the line of "buzzed" and "drunk". Add in the sudden activity and I was worn out. "You mind if I turn on the TV, babe?" "Not at all! I could use a little break" she yelled back through the bathroom door. I flipped around and found a cable show with an annoying couple trying to buy a 4-bedrrom house on 3 acres and a pool for $237K dollars. Tara came out, climbed onto the bed, and started playing around on her phone. After an episode and a half, I noticed Tara's hand was slowly snaking its way up my leg, under my robe. As she started stroking my cock, encouraging it back to life, she asked if I was ready for another round. I started to roll her over, until she put a hand on my chest. "Nope. You've been amazing this weekend. For me, my family, now it's time you get your reward. But....you have to trust me." "Uh.....ok." "Seriously babe. Trust me." With that, she started taking my robe off my shoulders. Once I was naked, she put some pillows under my head and reached over the side of the bed. She grabbed the large ribbon that had been around the pillows and started tying my right wrist to the bed frame (Oh.....THAT'S why they have that ribbon....duh). She swung over me, and started tying my left wrist, so I was spread eagle with my arms. Tara then got up and went over the Romance box. "I have to go in the bathroom and get ready. But before that, I want to get VERY ready." With that, she took a good dollup of the arousal gel and spread it over her clit and pussy lips. The reaction was instantaneous. "Oh fuck. That's amazing. It's heating up my pussy. Wow. I need to save this so I can get some more." With that, she went into the bathroom for a few minutes. Fortunately, I could still see Beth and Shawn complaining about the backsplash in the kitchen on the tv show, so I wasn't getting anxious. A few minutes later, Tara came back out with the robe on. "Sorry! For this part, we need one more thing." She walked over and hit the "red light" option on the bedstand. Next, off went the tv and up went the mirror. "Babe, I hope you're coming right into bed. Because if you want to kill the mood....leaving me tied up to only stare at my red-bathed cock and balls....that'll do it." "Don't worry. I have a surprise for you, but I don't want you see anything yet. With that, she put the sleep mask over my eyes. I heard her shuffling around, her suitcase unzipping and the bathroom door closing, then something strange happened. I heard the latches on the front door open and I felt a blast of cold air. As goosebumps erupted on my body, I heard the door close and a pair of high heeled shoes walking across our floor. The bathroom door closed again and I thought I heard muffled voices. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard the door open again and I heard Tara say, "OK. Babe, like I said, you did a lot for my entire family and here's your surprise." I then felt movement on the bed and someone straddling me. I felt a pair of wet panties rubbing across my cock. The more the pussy rubbed, the more the juices seemed to flow. All of a sudden, there was a slight shift and I felt Tara's pussy engulf my cock. It felt like Tara had pulled her panties to the side and was grinding her clit against me, while starting to ride my cock with fervor. I didn't remember her wearing panties when we crawled into bed and was surprised she put them back on just to have blindfolded sex. The fact that I couldn't see her and couldn't move my arms to reach out to her multiplied the sensations exponentially. Tara kept alternating her motions. She would slow down, then pick up speed, then she would just stop and grind for a minute. At one point, she just sat there on my cock, and I felt her long hair start to tickle my chest as she licked my nipples. Eventually she started to pick up speed, but she kept me on the edge of coming again and again. Just as I started to moan that I couldn't take much more, the mask was ripped from my face and I saw a sight I would never forget. My alcohol-affected eyes were still blurry, and the room bathed in red which made everything surreal-- but there was Lindsay, in her yellow skirt riding me. She had on her white top from the party, unbuttoned to her navel so I could see her chest and tits perfectly. Looking down into the mirror, I could see her black heels and sure enough, pulled to the side were the purple checkered panties. She was grinding on my cock, rubbing her clit against me while she pumped back and forth. Her long brown hair was down over her face, with her head bent forward and her hands on my chest. The similarities between her and Tara was insane. I felt my cock somehow get even harder which was magnified by the fact that her pussy was absolutely on fire. My still-buzzed mind was going a million miles a second as I tried to take in the crazy scene. My brain rocketed back to the "we share everything" statement at the bar. I thought about the door opening while I was blindfolded. Was this some sisterly April Fools prank going to another level? My eyes were searching the room, looking for Tara. Was she watching? Did Lindsay somehow lock her in the bathroom? Where did she go? Lindsey was riding me harder now, her pussy gripping my cock. She was so wet, I could feel her lubricating my cock with every thrust of her hips. The fluids were running down my balls as she kept grinding away. The heat coming out of her was like nothing I had ever felt before and I felt the cum building up in my balls. Lindsey was quiet but riding me harder when she leaned back, tossing her hair behind her and giving me an unobstructed view of her tits and tight body. That's when it hit me. For the first time, I was able to see the tell-tale red flush on her chest, shoulders and neck through the thin, white shirt. "Babe....." I moaned. "Mmmmmmm.....I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out." Tara said, "You like? Or is this too weird?" "Untie me, now. I'll show you." Tara reached up and released the loops around my wrists. Once my hands were free, they went right to her top, ripping the white blouse open. Buttons flew everywhere and I mauled her tits as she increased her speed on me. All the build-up and activity caught up to us at the same time. Just as I started to feel my cock release itself deep inside her, Tara started some deep guttural moans that ran through her body. She trembled, moaned and started thrashing on my cock. If it weren't for the fact we were in a remote cabin, we would have woken every neighbor around us. Tara was screaming and digging her nails into my chest. I shot stream after stream of cum into her pussy, thrusting up trying to milk the most out of both of our orgasms. Tara collapsed on to my chest as we gathered our breath back. I started to shift so I could go to the bathroom when she stopped me. "Hold on. I have to do one thing." Tara reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. She wrapped her leg over my crotch and spread out her skirt a bit. She took what was left of her blouse and covered her exposed tits as she cuddled up against me. She aimed the camera into the mirror at the foot of the bed and snapped a picture. Once she was happy with her picture, I saw her send a text to Lindsey, "Meant to tell you I borrowed some of your clothes! Next time I'm home, I'll trade you for my black shirt back. April Fools!" She hit send, we both used the rest room and returned to the bed. Exhausted from everything, we both collapsed into a deep sleep. ------------ The first problem with a night of crazy, passionate sex in a romantic cabin, complete with toys, booze and bondage? Before you pass out, you don't think of things like pulling all the blinds and curtains closed. So, after the aforementioned night, I woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room from multiple openings. I looked over to see Tara sprawled face down on the other side of the bed, but somehow she had found the sleep mask we had used the night before and she was using it for the intended reason -- to block out the light and get some sleep. I stumbled naked out of the bed, and started working my way around the room, trying to close as many of the blinds as I could. Even my best efforts resulted in the room being slightly darker, but nowhere near sleep-quality darkness. That's when I noticed the second problem with a passionate night in the cabin -- the leftover scents and smells. The room was filled with the sensory remnants of the night before, the burnt-out fireplace, cherry lubricant, lotions, stale prosecco, and of course, sex. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and wandered back to the bed. I picked up my phone to see that it was only 6:45 in the morning and flopped back into the bed, burying my head between some pillows to get some sleep. After what felt like only a few minutes, I felt Tara stirring next to me. I groaned and lifted my head to see that it was actually 9:30. My movements alerted Tara that I was awake and I heard her husky morning voice, "Morning, babe. Did I wake you?" "No. I was up earlier but managed to get back to sleep. Did you happen to ask what time checkout is today?" Tara got out of bed and walked over the table where she had dropped our packet of information when we arrived. Her hair was a tousled mess, but I focused more on the movement of her ass as she walked across the room. From the bed, I could see her breasts lightly bounce as bent over to pick up the paperwork and walk back to the bed. "Well, we missed breakfast. That ended at 9:00." she read as she sat down, "Checkout is at 11. I'm fine if we just want to pack up and hit the road, we can grab an early lunch on the way out. Tara then looked up at our reflection in the weird bed-mirror, "But first, I need to shower. Holy fuck, I'm a mess." She took her hand and gently rubbed the surface of her pussy. "I'm sore, too, but that arousal crème they gave us was unbelievable. I was on fire before you even touched me last night." "That was crazy, babe. What made you think of the whole 'dressing up like your sister' thing?" I asked. "It's a long story and we have time in the car, I'll tell you the whole thing." Tara was still gently touching her pussy at this point. Not masterbating by any stretch, but just lazily running her hand over her mostly hairless crotch. "But I really do need a shower, I'm so sticky and gross right now." She glanced over and saw that even her slight movements were making me hard. "Tell you what. We do have a little time and since we both need to clean up anyway, why don't you give me a minute or two and meet me in there?" With that, Tara jumped up and started walking toward the bathroom. Her ass seemed to have a little extra swagger as she glanced over her shoulder with a smirk, knowing I was going to be close behind her. I waited a few minutes as I heard the sink run, toilet flush and the shower start. I then made my way to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth to get rid of my morning breath and started toward the shower. Admittedly, for such a romantic room, the shower was pretty standard. It was slightly oversized, with a large glass door that faced the rest of the bathroom. Through the steamy glass, I could see Tara with her head leaning back into the water, letting the spray cascade down her head and body. I slid into the chamber behind her and started to run my hands up her sides to cup her tits. I moved her wet hair over her shoulder so I could start kissing the back of her neck as ground my cock against her ass. Tara slid forward a bit to let the hot water wash over me as she grabbed for the bar of soap in the soap dish. "Here" she said, "wash my back." Tara handed me bar of soap and I used it to start washing her back. I built up a lather and worked my way back to her tits. I could feel her nipples tighten under the soap as ran my hands all over her chest. I kept building up more soapy bubbles and started to run one hand down toward her pussy. "Babe, I can't. I'm still too sore from last night" she said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from her sex. "Plus, I said you could wash my back." As Tara said it, she pushed back and gyrated her ass against my crotch. Taking the hint, I moved my hands to her back, but this time started working them lower. I used my slippery, soapy hands to massage and caress her ass cheeks. Thanks to our positioning, my cock was getting coated with the soap, too. I took my right hand and started to work my way into the cleft of her ass cheeks. As I started to brush my soapy fingers against Tara's puckered hole, she shifted her weight forward, extended her arms and leaned against the wall of the shower. This pressed her ass against me more and I used more soap to add lubrication to my cock and her hole. When we were both fully lubricated, I gripped my cock in my hand and started to press the head against her asshole. Tara and I were no strangers to anal play and thanks to the amount of soap we used, the head of my cock popped through her tight ring without much resistance. Whenever I slid into her ass, Tara would let loose with what I could only call a guttural moan and this time was no exception. Even though my cock had been sucked and fucked nearly raw the night before, the feeling of her tight ass wrapped around me was amazing. I didn't waste any time and started to thrust in and out of her ass, feeling the falling water splash over us while the wet sounds of flesh slapping together filled the room. "Uggghhhh....fuck my ass babe. Make me your little ass whore." Whenever we had anal sex, Tara's sex drive would go into overdrive and she would go from lusty to slutty in seconds. With my slippery hands and the shower water, I was having a problem getting a good grip on her hips and we starting to slip in the shower. "C'mon, Jason. Don't stop now. What happened, did I wear you out last night? You're not gonna go soft in my ass are you? Fuck me like you mean it. Dump your cum into my ass, baby." Tara's mouth and dirty talk sent me over the edge. I pulled my dick out of her ass with a pop and whipped open the shower door. I grabbed Tara's soaking wet body and lifted her up and out of the shower. As our feet hit the bathroom floor, I pushed her down on the ground so that she was laying flat with her naked body pressed against the tiles. I spread her ass cheeks one more time and thrusted into her. With the floor under her, I was able to fully work my entire length into her ass. Tara was grunting and moaning with every thrust of my cock. With the bathroom acting as an echo chamber, our cries were reflecting back on us and magnifying our every sound. Just as I felt Tara's body start to shake and tremble under me, I felt my cock start to explode in her. Wave after wave of hot cum poured into her ass. Tara was literally whimpering under me and for a minute I thought I was going to pass out. The explosion of my orgasm, the heat of the shower, and the steam filling the room all had my head spinning. I pulled my softening cock out of Tara's ass and opened the door to the bathroom, letting the cool air pour in. I sat against the doorframe as Tara continued to lay on the floor. After a few minutes, she began to stir. She picked herself up off the floor and got back into the shower. I reached over and wrapped a towel around my waist and started to clean up the room and pack our belongings. When Tara emerged from the shower, I hopped in to clean myself off. Once we were both showered and dressed, we grabbed our bags, checked out of the room and got back in the car. I could tell that Tara was exhausted and wasn't going to be much company on the ride back to school. I drove back, listening to the radio and Tara woke up as we were approaching our university. "So, I have to ask" I said. "What was up with you and Lindsay and the outfits?" Tara chuckled, "I figured you weren't going to let that go. Lindsay has always been a tease around guys. As we both get older she gets some weird thrill out of teasing my boyfriends, but she never really does anything serious. Once though, a guy a was dating, Glen, tried to start feeling her up when I wasn't around. She told me and that was it for me and Glen. "Every time I've spoken to her over the past month, she's talked about the whole April Fools weekend and that she would have to up her game with you. I thought wearing the blouse at the bar was it, but she went above and beyond. I will tell you, though, she came to me first thing the next day and told me you threw her out. And for the record, she wouldn't have let you fuck her. She would have pushed you to the point, then bailed." "Ok" I said, "But what about you last night wearing her outfit?" "Oh! I was walking by the kitchen and saw her standing over you during the party, still teasing you. I was going to let her have it before we left, but when I saw her clothes crumpled up in her room after the party, I got a better idea. "For once, I figured out a way to turn her little prank around on her and give you a bit of a treat at the same time. That's why I texted her that picture last night. Besides, you didn't seem to mind." she finished with a smirk. "No" I said, "but next time, an even BETTER prank would be actually have your sister take your place, don't you think?" That earned me the final punch in the arm of the trip, the large bruise my souvenir of April Fools Day that year. By TruthWithaTwist for Literotica.

To start the second hour, Luke Gazdic hopped on the show to talk about all things Oilers. He shared his experience in the Oilers vs Stars alumni game he was in this past week. The boys also looked ahead to tonight's game where the Oilers take on the Minnesota Wild.    In the middle of the hour, the boys drop some huge news in their new segment called ‘MMMMMMM' That's Good presented by Italian Centre Shop. The boys announced that starting Monday, Feb 26th. Edmonton Sports Talk will be LIVE on iHeartRadio.   To finish the hour, Duane and Ron Sutter hopped on the show to discuss their new beer launch. They also shared stories of what it was like to play in the NHL, and what it was like growing up on a farm.       

Dontcha just love when Ween puts on the wizard's cloak and gets all proggy?!  Makes me want to bust out some of those old King Crimson albums that gather dust.  I'm talking Lizards, Islands, Larks Tongue in Aspic.  You know those ones that suck but are also awesome?  If Robert Fripp had "auto tune" to play with back then...man...a little auto tune and a little mellotron.  Mmmmmmm good.  

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Silicon Valley Bank Sold to First Citizens in Government-Backed Deal / adam Sandler mark twain award speech // adam sandler speech / WHIP _ What is Adam's networth // Farmers Market New Contest / Hollywood Bowl new transportation options / Allergies / Adele residency // Pacific Palisades Mudslides / Parrot stole / Mo Kelly

As dismissive as the title sounds, the content is as well! But did we enjoy ourselves? Mmmmmmm.... MAYBE!!

MMMMMMM. Books.

HEADLINES: Catfish & Diesel, Mmmmmmm! | Quora Question Answered | Can I Flush Now? | Kids Korner TiTR News Coffee Mugs: https://teespring.com/this-is-true-really-news?cid=102950&page=1&pid=658&tsmac=store&tsmic=special-ts-5

Happy Hanukkah! My Website: https://dairyfreedudeid.wixsite.com/mysite Latkes: https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/latkes-5507014 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Come on and slam, with Evan, Carl and Sam! This week we're donning our Air Jordans®, and crashing our way through the tarmac of time, all the way down to the hell of 1996. Come along for the ride to find out if Space Jam is as great as you remember, or as spectacularly awful as that time Michael Jordan tried Baseball... Music created by Jack Parsons. Follow us on Twitter and check out our YouTube channel.  

It's the welcome return of Uncle Si & Uncle Dave as well as Posh Tash and The Thin White Duke to discuss all matters problematic, from a child missing to the horrors of teenage-hood to a question about cake. We love cake. Mmmmmmm.........cake........Also Si & Dave give their own personal tribute to Her Majesty the Queen. As always, send in your trouble to AgonyUncles@TheHairyBikers.co.uk A problem shared is.....well, a jolly good podcast hopefully! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's just Mike in the booth today, and he tried to be creative with alliteration...but really he's doing a mini tasting room with 2 beers!

Join The Voice for a musical therapy session of classic R&B Slow Jams, Smooth Jazz, Southern Soul and music that makes you go Mmmmmmm. Lisa Stansfield, Teena Marie, Troop, Toni Braxton, King George, KEM and more in this volume, so kick back, relax and let your stress melt away. Take some "me time" or some "us time" with The Voice in The Sweet Spot.

Suzanne discusses the how and why of stress—and how it can addict us. She also shares emotional/mental approaches that can help us break the habit Did you know that stress can be addictive? It actually is, releasing a powerful cocktail of chemicals in our brains that binds us to it ever more strongly. So this one's for you if you find yourself looping stressful thoughts day in, day out. (I've been there!) But first—and really in the same vein—I share my essay, The Value of Getting Grounded. Being grounded and calm is simpler with this basic grounding exercise anyone can do. Give it a try…and breathe. Next I share my own personal recovery experience with overcoming my addiction to stress, along with all kinds of ideas for reclaiming your own serenity. Among other things, I discuss The places I found support that really got me clear on this addiction The value of letting go, and making amends in this process The exact process I went through in reclaiming my own serenity—and releasing that stress What Adrenal Fatigue is and what it has to do with chronic stress Wise advice from a theater person I know How you can get started releasing your own stress May this inspire some real shifts for you! Namaste, Suzanne RESOURCES AG1— Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. The Value of Getting Grounded   Suzanne's interview with Yoga Nidra yognini Julie Yogaressa   Suzaanne's favorite dark chocolate bar…. Mmmmmmm   WHO IS SUZANNE Suzanne Falter hosts the Self-Care for Extremely Busy Women podcast where she brings better self-care to thousands of busy people each week in 98 countries around the globe. She also keynotes and leads corporate workshops on self-care. She is the author of The Extremely Busy Woman's Guide to Self-Care (Sourcebooks.)  

Erika will never look at an everything bagel the same way again. Mmmmmmm... bagel that can destroy the multi-verse...

  A new way to enjoy her Vajayjay Get in the SEXUnSHAMED Fan Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/sexunshamed Want to be on the show?  Post your question in the group or leave a voice message on FB messenger!

Ever wonder why people look at you like you owe them something? We do!!!! which we are going to give our thoughts and prayers on this topic.

Rob Nixon from Nicko's Kitchen has done it again See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As Sheriff John Dance rode down to the river, Miguel, the Stagecoach agent, came up beside him. Dance gave him a skeptical look, and didn’t have time to get to the question before Miguel said, “I have responsibilities…”Fair enough thought Dance. He cast an eye over Miguel’s horse and rig. It was packed light and well, and Miguel sat his horse easy. He looked like he knew what doing. Probably more than Dance did. Dance was no frontier hand or Indian fighter by nature. But the misadventures of his youth had taught him to travel fast and leave as little trace as possible. When they got to the river Dance reined, and without taking his eyes off the other side, Dance said, “We’ll head north along the river, see if we can find a place to ford, and any sign of that ship. First sign of trouble, I’m cuttin’ and runnin’. You understand? This is a scout.” Miguel nodded and said, “If I find a way across, I have to go to Bisbee.”Dance said, “Miguel, you see any telegraph poles on the other side of that river?” Miguel shook his head. “It makes no difference, I must go anyway. It is my duty.” “It ain’t a duty, Miguelito, it’s just a job.” “I may not have a Star like you,” said Miguel, “But I have my duties.” Dance shook his head and decided he wouldn’t share his opinions about Duty and Bisbee with Miguel. Duty was just some horseshit made up by powerful people to get the little people to sacrifice themselves when it was convenient. And Bisbee? There weren’t no f****n’ Bisbee there anymore. Give it a few more days, and everybody would see that. It was just that most people, normal people with their settled lives, were slow to adapt to change. They ignored it, argued against it, and tried to resist it. But it was all foolishness. Things changed, the man who changed the fastest was the one who made the best of them. That’s how Dance had wound up as Sheriff in the first place.Everything on this side of the river was normal for the first mile and even though the opposite bank was an unknown land, the river was peaceful and cool and Dance found himself thinking of the day he had come to Grantham, three years ago. He had ridden into town dragging a different name and a streak of bad luck that had felt a mile wide. If Dance was honest, right now, it felt like he was draggin’ something wider and worse. At the livery stable, Eli Johnson hadn’t known what to make of him when he handed off the reins to a battered old nag and said, “Take good care of her.” “Why?” asked Eli, not afraid of offending this stranger ‘cause any damn fool could see this horse wasn’t fit for anything but the glue factory. Dance had flipped him a newly minted silver dollar and said, “‘Cause I owe her.” That settled, he nodded his battered hat at the building made of thick, irregular stone across the street and asked, “Would I be right in thinking that’s the Sheriff’s office?” “Yessir, says so right on the sign,” answered Eli, thinking that this man had been out in the sun too long to have retained a grip on the obvious. The Sheriff’s office had a wide porch and awning of unpainted, rough-cut lumber. The windows, such as they were were in those rough stone walls, were long and horizontal, with the occasional cross openings. The place was a fortress, gunportd and all. Dance glided up the steps and pushed through the door without knocking. Inside were two desks - a rolltop stuffed with correspondence and a leather-topped one on the left of the door. There was a table, a few chairs, a half-full rack of long guns on the wall and a pot-bellied stove. What Dance didn’t see were any deputies, or anybody at all. At first. On the wall by the door was a collection of wanted posters, and as Dance was checking to see if his face was on any of them he heard the muffled cry of someone calling out through a gag. The back of the room was a wall of thick steel bars that was further divided into two cells. In the cell on the right, a man with his hands bound behind his back and a bandanna tied through his mouth looked frantically at him and cried out again. “Mmmmmmm!”Dance looked around to see if someone was playing some kind of trick on him, but the room was still empty. The man in the cell waved him over with his head. Dance eased across the room. The prisoner waggled his head around, trying to indicate the gag with his eyes. Then he thrust the side of his face up to the bars. Dance took another look around the room, then hooked a finger through the bandanna. Still not taking any chances, he kicked the man's shin hard with his boot. The prisoner grunted in pain and slumped against the cell bars, all balance taken from him. As Dance held the man up by the bandanna, he slid his knife under the fabric, along the man’s face, and cut it away with a jerk. The prisoner fell to one knee and spit out the gag. “Jesus Christ Mister, you didn’t have to do that!”“Didn’t seem right to shoot it off,” said Dance. “Are you with THEM?” Dance didn’t answer the question. He considered the angry man in the cell who still had his hands bound behind his back. He was lean and sleepy-eyed, with stoop shoulders and a handlebar mustache. He looked strong enough but something about his skin and the set of his chin spoke of a weak constitution. His eyes were wide with fear and anger when he spoke, but when he listened they drooped heavy and he might have been mistaken for being on the verge of sleep. Dance thought, he’s some kind of madman. Then he asked. “Where’s the Deputies?” “Don’t you know anything?”“I know I care much for your manners,” said Dance. “Deputy. There’s only one deputy left and I’m him. Pete. I’m the DEPUTY, now let me out of this cell. They’re robbin’ the bank.”“Well Pete, if you’re the Deputy Sheriff, then what on earth are you doing in there?” asked Dance, enjoying himself.“They got the drop on me,” he said, looking down and away. “And I’m ashamed to say they locked me in my own cell. That enough for you to let me out?”“How many were there?” asked Dance. “Must have been five. Maybe more!”“Five,” asked Dance, with a raised eyebrow.“Maybe more!” said Pete, “Now get me outta here. I’ve gotta go stop them from robbing the bank.”“You?!?” said Dance. “One man against at least five hardened criminals? Dangerous men? Outlaws?” Dance shook his head and sucked his teeth at the thought. “Not one man,” said Pete, “one Deputy,” his chest puffing out with pride. “Well, I’d like to see that Pete. I surely would. Just one thing. You gotta key to this cell?" Pete rolled his eyes and cursed. “I only had the one. T’other was on the Sheriff when he got killed…” he trailed off, wide-eyed as if he had said something he shouldn’t have. Dance didn’t bite. He said, “Tell me which bank?”“Bank of Grantham. Only bank in town. Other end of Main Street. By the wash. “I think I’ll go down there and have me a lil’ look. Count up these desperados for you. But I gotta warn you, I’m stopping at 10. That’s all the fingers I got to count on.” As Dance strode down the street he whistled tunelessly and checked the load in his pistols, pulling back the hammer and spinning the cylinders to reassure himself that all twelve cartridges were present and accounted for. A passerby looked at him with fear, and he holstered a pistol and tipped his hat, breaking neither stride nor musical performance.From the outside, the First Bank of Grantham seemed just as sleepy as the rest of town on that sunny afternoon. But before John Dance could mount the steps, he heard a series of gunshots and two men exploded out of the front door into the street, carrying what looked to be very heavy saddlebags over their shoulders. Dance stood very still as one of them whirled and pointed a pistol right at him. But when the desperado looked at the man in front of him, his eyebrows raised in surprise so much that his hat lifted more than an inch. “John-John, look who it is!”John-John, who was scanning the other end of the street for trouble, turned quickly and said, “Well, I’ll be damned!” he said as he broke into a smile and let his pistol drop. “Ain’t seen you since that dance back in Albequ-”But John-John never made it to the end of that sentence. John Dance’s hands blurred into motion and he shot them both down, two bullets apiece just to be sure.He holstered his guns and the good townspeople came out and declared him a hero. Jean DuMont, the man who had the most to lose from his bank being robbed, gave him a reward of $50, for doing the right thing. They rescued old Speedy Pete from his own jail and all repaired to the Morning Star Saloon, where hands were shook, backs were slapped and nobody thought to question where this man had come from. Everybody was just glad that “John” had stepped up and done the right thing. The man who brought him his third whiskey said, “Mister, just so happens we’re short a Sheriff.”“Just so happens, I’m looking for work.” “What’s your name? Your full name, I mean. So we can swear you in.” Of course, John couldn’t give his real name. He was trying to outrun that name; the name of a man with a price on his head who, among other things, had robbed a dance back in Albuquerque with a nefarious character known as John-John and the Allen-Elder gang. So he smiled his best smile and said, “Dance, John Dance.” Sometime that evening, somebody pinned a star on him, and from that moment on, he was the Sheriff.What better place to avoid the law than to be the law itself? At first, he thought he'd stay six months, maybe a year, but it had been three years since he’d stopped the bank robbery. He'd become accustomed to sleeping indoors and people smiling when they saw him on the street. Sure, Speedy Pete was enough to drive any man crazy, but though he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the sack he was loyal and honest and that made up for a lot. But as much as he liked the town and the people he hated the feeling of being trapped. It was one thing to choose to stay when he knew he could just melt away at any time. But to stay when you weren’t allowed to leave, that was prison. And Dance figured the whole point was to stay the hell out of prison.Dance was jerked away from his memories by the sight of an abrupt line up ahead. On one side of this line the ground was the harsh, rocky desert of Eastern Arizona. On the other side was lush thick grass. He and Miguel stopped just short of this strange line and looked at it for a long while. To his right, Dance could see where the line had split a rock in half. He said, "Miguel…" and pointed.“Estoy perdido,” answered Miguel, not even aware he was speaking Spanish.Dance’s horse lowered his head and took a bite of the grass. The horse didn't keel over dead or burst into flames. He just nibbled the grass is if he did it every day. It was thicker and crawlier than any grass Dance ever seen. But if it tasted all right to the horse, Dance supposed it might be OK.Dance caught a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and about 200 yards away he saw a giant, bear-like creature, rise up out of the grassland and grab a hold of a tree branch with a paw impossibly long fingernails twisted and turned in wild, unpredictable ways. Like a gypsy woman's fingernails he once seen in Galveston. The creature lifted its long, teardrop-shaped head and began stripping the wide leaves from the tree and eating them. Dance looked to Miguel. Miguel stared at the strange creature with his jaw hanging open. In a voice that he hoped wouldn't carry, Dance asked, “You ever seen one of them before?""Nunca. ¿Quieres ir a ver?"“No I do not,” said Dance, easing his rifle out of the saddle scabbard. The sight of the weapon gleaming in the sunshine snapped Miguel back to himself. He said, “You are going to shoot it? It eats plants.”“I’m just being cautious. I been known to eat vegetables from time to time, but we all know what I prefer.”Miguel nodded. Then, before Dance could say no, he spurred his horse towards the strange creature. Dance cursed under his breath and touched his horse with his heels and followed. “I think he likes that tree,” said Miguel of the gigantic creature, which was happily munching away. With chomp and a sweep of its neck, it denuded half the tree, taking no notice of them. As it ate, it made low, whuffing grunts. “Can we go now?”“Is there no wonder in your soul Sheriff Dance?""Oh there's plenty of wonder Miguel," he said, surveying his surroundings. "Right now I'm wondering what the hell we're doing provoking this animal?”"Don't be like that. I think he's friendly.""If you put that to the test, I'll shoot both of you and ride off I swear.""I think you did not grow up on a farm or a ranch, Sheriff Dance. Maybe you did not grow up in nature."Suddenly, the creature jerked its head up. It looked at the two men on horses and made a sharp bark of alarm, showing more and sharper teeth than John Dance felt a herbivore ought to be allowed. Dance brought the rifle to his shoulder, but the creature did not charge. It looked around frantically, sniffing the air so rapidly its long snout seem to vibrate. Dance, in fact, had not grown up outdoors or on a ranch, but he didn’t need to be a native guide to see that this thing was goddamned terrified. "Come on, let's ease back,” said Dance.Miguel nodded without taking his eyes off the creature. From fifty yards to the right, something came rushing through the tall grass. The air was shattered by a tremendous roar. The sound was so loud Dance felt like a great hand had reached into his chest and squeezed the air out of his lungs. The horses reared and screamed. As Dance fought to stay in the saddle he heard the creature that was eating the tree make a frightened, bleat-like sound. In fear, it leapt onto the tree and climbed. Leaves and small branches and hunks of bark showered down as it scrabbled up the tree with its strange claws. Behind the tree, Dance saw a bear rise from the grass. It rose until it was the size of a large grizzly, and it still kept coming. It stood on its hind legs, dangled its claws at the end of its too-long arms, threw its strange bulldog-like face back and and roared at its prey.Miguel wheeled his horse around and cursed in Spanish. Dance could feel that his own horse was on the verge of bolting. In the interest of staying in the saddle, he fought to stay calm, but wheeled to the right and let the animal have his head. When they had gained some distance, Dance reined up on a small rise. As they watched Miguel said, “You see, now the bear, he will climb the tree and eat our tree-eating friend.”Dance spit. “Ain’t no friends of mine.” The bear roared again, and reached up and placed its paw on the tree trunk. Above him, nearly at the top of the tree, the sad-faced herbivore clutched the trunk and bleated in distress. But the bear did not climb. He put his forepaws on the trunk and by heaving his bulk forward and back, began to rock the trunk. High above, the top of the tree swung back and forth wildly. The herbivore tried to hold tight to the trunk, but with each swing, it seemed that a new appendage came free just as it had replaced the last one. The tree trunk snapped off about 2 feet above the ground. The trunk fell over, slowly at first, but by the time the top of the trunk hit the ground, the herbivore was slammed into the earth at a hideous speed. Even at this distance Dance felt the impact in the seat of his saddle.The poor creature tried to raise up and flee but fell to the ground after a single wobbly step. In a flurry of claws and teeth, the bear was on it, its short, punched–in snout, rooting deep into the creature's soft white underbelly. The bear pulled its bloody snout and face out from the still-living animal which was screaming in pain. The bear raised its head to the sky and roared again."Magnificent animal," said Miguel.Then, and Dance would swear to this until the end of his days, the bear looked right at them and roared."Is that thing gonna follow us?" asked Dance."No, don't be silly. He has just killed and will eat his fill and take a nap, for a few days most likely.""He's looking right at us." Miguel considered this for a moment, then said, "No, Senor, his eyesight cannot be that good."They headed north away and when they had put a hill between them and the carnage, they eased up on the horses. They decided to head farther north before circling back to town. "One more rise between us and…" said Dance.Miguel nodded in a way that said he knew nothing about the great outdoors, and they rode on.As the crest of the next rise, the grassland ended in front of them in a steep drop. The slope was steeper than anybody not being chased by bloodthirsty savages would want to ride down, thought Dance. But then he was torn from his geological and equestrian considerations by Miguel's soft gasp, "Madre de Dios."Dance raised his eyes to the horizon. The plain before him was marked by irregular black circles in the green as if the land itself had been afflicted with some kind of pox. He could see the river cutting back in from the left, and following its course, he's could see a harbor of sorts that had been cut into the riverbank. And above it, on a small hill was a tall tower of dark stone that taper to a point high above the plain. It made Dance feel uneasy to look directly at it. Resting in the river, in the shadow of the tower, was the warship that had attacked the Town of Grantham. Dance grunted. At least something had gone right about this scout. But the thought was interrupted by a strange, snuffling grunt. Dance looked over his shoulder and there, perhaps 30 yards away was the bear that was supposed to be sleeping off his meal. Before he could say anything to Miguel, the beast roared and charged them.When dance saw the bloody maw of the bear rushing towards them, he realized they were not going to escape. He yanked his horse around and together they plunged over the edge.The descent was so steep Dance had to lean back in his saddle -- stirrups jutting out alongside the animal's neck -- to keep from going over the horse's head. Dance thought the only way to descend faster would be to fall, but then Miguel came galloping past him on the left side.As they hit the plain below, he heard the roaring of the Bear on the hill behind them, and his horse needed no encouragement to gallop. Dance chanced a look over his shoulder and saw the bear coming down the crumbling dirt hill behind him. The bear tried to slow, but he could not keep his weight off his front paws. He slowly came over, crashed into the slope and started to roll.That ought to slow him down, thought Dance but when the bear reached the bottom, it rolled to its feet and kept running. Some days you et the bear and other days, well the bear et you. Dance was afraid he knew which one of those days this was going to be. He heard the bear getting closer behind him and could smell the hot copper of the blood on his breath. He tensed his back anticipating the swipe of a claw, but it did not come. Instead, his horse stumbled and he fell hard onto the prairie. The bear continued on in pursuit of Miguel and his horse. Dance struggled to his hands and knees and realized he was in a blackened area of the plain, a shallow crater, the lip of which had caused his horse to tumble. The burned area in the prairie was about 10 feet across and on the other side of it, he could see his horse getting back to its feet.He looked beyond his horse, hoping to see that Miguel had gotten away. But he was not surprised to see the monstrous bear pursued him still. There was a strange crackling noise in the air, from far away yet from all around. In the distance, he noticed the tower was shimmering. Waves of crackling electricity swept up the sides of the spire and gathered at the top in furious bands. In the distance Miguel still rode for all he was worth, trying to outrun the monstrous bear, but still, the bear gained. Miguel cut the horse hard around a crater, and the bear couldn't make the turn. It had to veer off and go the long way around the depression. Dance clenched his fist in excitement. It was a longshot, but with a few moves like that, Miguel might just survive. The bear was fast, but it didn't have endurance and it certainly couldn't turn like Miguel's fine quarter horse. Maybe, just maybe Miguel would get away.There was a blinding flash, a bolt of lightning seared an arc from the tower to the plain in front of him. It came to rest directly on Miguel and his horse. After the sizzle and flash came a clap of thunder so deafening Dance thought his teeth had been turned to powder. Then the ground where Miguel and his horse had been erupted in chunks of burning earth. Hunks of dirt and grass rain downed all around him, but Dance heard nothing but the ringing in his ears.His vision came back slowly and he did not like what he saw. There was nothing left of Miguel. The bear was off to one side, dazed, sitting over on his haunches, shaking his head like an old man who had gotten a hold of some bad moonshine. Dance turned and walked away.He had gone a few steps when he heard the bear running towards him. This time he did not turn. He thought to himself, Welp this is how I die. He resigned himself to it, lowering his head as he walked, but then he thought of Laura and the promise he had made to her. He thought of Mac and the angry spirit in that boy, the courage to defend his mother against a full-grown man. He wasn't sure that all the fighting he had done in his life had gotten him anywhere he had wanted to go, but inside him, the fear turned to anger once again.He spun on his boot heel and pulled his pistol with a fluid, long-practiced motion. The bear was now moving slower than before, but somehow it was more horrifying. The hair had been burned off half its face and snout and now it howled in rage and pain as it advanced."Yep," said Dance as he raised his pistol, "f**k you too." Dance took his time with the shots cocking the trigger with his thumb and carefully sighting before each pull. All six shots went home. The last one hit the bear in the head and glanced off the beast’s skull, leaving a red, angry canal along its brainpan. And still, the beast came. That was the moment he knew he was done for. He dropped his pistol and put a hand to his knife. Then he heard it again – that strange, sizzling, crackling sound – now coming from all around him close by. The beast was there charging not more than 10 feet away. At the last moment John Dance threw himself to the ground. The bear stopped short and reared up on its hind legs, roaring in triumph. It raised its paws, each as big as an anvil, and Dance had time to see the strings of carrion dangling from its claws. The world went white again. Dance’s body convulsed with electricity as hunks of bear meat rained down upon him. When it was over he lay very still and moaned quietly for a long time. The bear had been disintegrated by the lightning. From where Jon Dance lay he could see the burn marks in the grass where the bear’s feet had touched the earth. Without lifting his head, he scanned the horizon as best he could. There was nothing but open prairie, and when the wind blew the stench of cooked bear away he could smell the river. The tower on the horizon remained dark and motionless.He crawled like a snake, very slowly back towards the bluff. For an hour or so, he inched way along the ground in mortal tear of that sizzling sound he was certain would be his end. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patrickemclean.substack.com

Hello there! Join Rossko and Miles as they travel to a galaxy far, far away and discuss everything you need to know about LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga. We've delved very deep into this game already and while there's still so much more to see, Rossko and Miles share everything they love (and everything they don't) about the game so far. There's also a deep discussion about the movies themselves and whether the sequels will weather the storm, much like the now beloved prequels did. We shall see. Enjoy the episode and may the force be with you. And all the stud multipliers. MMMMMMM....stud multipliers....| ALL THE PLACES WE ARE: https://linktr.ee/fingergunsDonate to Sunflower of Peace to support humanitarian efforts in Ukraine: http://www.sunflowerofpeace.comTheme Music – De Jongens Met de Zwarte Schoenen by RoccoW & xyce. | Edited and produced by Ross Keniston | Published by Podbean.Team: @FNGRGNS / Rossko – @RosskoKeniston / Paul – @ThePaulCollett / Greg – @GregatonBomb / Sean – @Omac_Brother / Toby – @toby_andersen / Andy – @PsychTyson / Kat – @RainbowDropx | Facebook: FingerGunsUK / Twitch: twitch.tv/fingergunsdotnet / The Official Finger Guns Discord Discord: Join here! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

MMMMMMM.....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Goat Makes Arrest, $6,000 Dog Poop, Ukraine Beasts, Hank the Tank is Actually 3 Bears & Extreme Ironing This weeks podcast is kicked off with our 'Of the Weeks', including 'GOAT of the week' (3:23), 'Beasts of the Week' (7:30), and 'Huh, nhhhh, mmmMMMM, nahhhh moment of the week' (14:24). In our Backpage News we discuss some strange headlines such as 'Protesters turn to tinfoil hats as increasing sickness blamed on Government beaming radiation rays' (17:37), 'Company offers more than $6,000 to smell dog poop for two months' (23:31), and 'It's a bear battalion! Hank the Tank turns out to be 3 bears' (28:28). In Sports we talk about Extreme Ironing (36:09). Follow us on Instagram @dttwpod Watch clips on our YouTube Channel and check out our blog on our website here

Crikey! There are a lot of crazy animals in Australia, and they're all cooler than the next one. So listen as Amber and Ed talk about dingos, kangaroos, Tasmanian devils, koala bears, and blue tongued skinks with box jellyfish kicker. Mmmmmmm now Ed's hungry. Be good to yourselves. Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

"This decadent, richly indulgent cocktail is essentially a boozy milkshake - but we're not complaining. It's got 3 types of booze: gin (of course!), amaretto, and Irish liqueur (like Baileys) - so it'll really get the party started! And the dessert cocktail's sweet side is equally scrumptious, with vanilla syrup, cream and a lovely sprinkle of grated nutmeg to give it a flavoursome finish. Mmmmmmm!" Source: craftginclub.co.uk @hmsspirits @hmseventbars #mixologist #mixology #cocktails #bartender #cocktail #drinks #bar #bartenderlife #drink #drinkstagram #cocktailbar #craftcocktails #cocktailsofinstagram #bartending #bartenders #barman #gin #drinkup #happyhour #cocktailtime #cocktailporn #cheers #instagood #alcohol #rum #cocktailoftheday #vodka #mixologyart #cocktailhour #yachtinginternationalradio

Mmmmmmm ruik je hem al ...Ja ja ik heb het over de lavendel ...Heerlijk kleurig en geurig  - made by Anita A.C Janssen  - de vrouw aan de telefoon - Tosca Niterink  rooiereporter.nl  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/annie-jan/message

Mmmmmmm

We start off this week with two emails from listeners asking for some psychic advice. In both cases, Dean's response strongly suggests a very positive outcome for both people. Then we do another set of psychic experiments to try to stretch and strengthen our abilities to psychically detect stuff. First, Dean makes reference to finding a random number generator on Google, so Walt does exactly that and finds that Google's search result shows a random number generator built-in. It appears with a randomly generated number showing between 1 and 10, so Walt challenges Dean and the livestream audience to make their best guesses as to what that number is. Dean and one of the audience members guess 6. Two other guesses are 7 and 8. And the answer is: 6! Yup, Dean and the livestream audience member got it right! Woo hoo! Dean also points out that we should celebrate our losses in order to help shift the vibration we normally associate with missing the mark. So we do exactly that! We also draw two horse cards and an energy card, and once again we get a few things right, both among the co-hosts and in the livestream audience. And for all of us who missed stuff, we use Dean's mantra: "Mmmmmmm ... Efffff it! ..." Subscribe and share: https://loatoday.net/download

Paris, Kelsey, and Michael explore all things food preferences, starting with a half hearted ranking of meals. Hosts: Davyani Srivastava, Paris Clark, Kelsey Hancock, Michael McClendon Email Us: hearmeout@utulsa.edu Music Credit: Myles Clark

Welcome to HOOVERING, the podcast about eating. Host, Jessica Fostekew (Guilty Feminist, Motherland) has a frank conversation with an interesting person about gobbling; guzzling; nibbling; scoffing; devouring and wolfing all up… or if you will, hoovering.This week I’m releasing a Hoovering I actually recorded a month or two ago but I thought now is the time! As lockdown in the UK eases again and gyms reopen again and the sun starts to (occassionally) shine- it seems that a lot of us, not surprisingly, are feeling a bit weird or anxious or annoyed with themself for caring about their bodies - so I thought it was high time to introduce you to Nicki Hobday, an amazing personal personal trainer and theatre performer. Because if now isn’t the right time to eat a massive sweaty burger followed by a chocolate bar sucked through tea with an official ‘fitness person’, whenever is? Everything written below in CAPITALS is a link to the relevant webpage. Honourable Mentions/ LinksMake sure you get yourself following NICKI HOBDAY here to find out how to contact her about properly personal personal training and also to see about her performance art work too please. I’m on this great site called PATREON where I swap your money for ace podcast related stuff like totally exclusive content and guest recipes. It’ll help me keep the podcast not just alive, but also thriving. Thanks so so so much if you’ve become a patron recently and/ or stuck with me since the beginning of this. Also - if you’d wanted to donate something as a one-off you can DO THAT HERE on the Acast Supporter page thing. Things we mentioned that you might be interested in from this podcast include…Delicious vegan burgers JALEPENO GRILLERS from Wicked Kitchen and BEYOND BURGERS. Mmmmmmm. To both. The supermarket TESCOThe really fun BISCOFF KITKAT CHUNKYAnd the both very talented salt and vinegar DISCOS and SQUARES Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hoovering. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Finding and building resonance is incredibly important in singing and speaking. We really can shape our tone and build power without doing any damage to the vocal folds or having to 'push' too hard. If you want to read more about resonance, check out this great article - https://www.voicescienceworks.org/resonance.html We do 4 different exercises in this episode... 1. Mmmmmmm-ahhhhhh, mmmmmmm-aaaaayyyyyyyy, mmmmmm-eeeeeeee (harder to write than sing) 2. Yawn to access our lower notes 3. Bee, bee, bee focusing on the strong buh of the B sound 4. Nyah - like the sound new but with an ahh on the end. Hope you enjoy. To hear more or learn more visit - www.dvss.com.au

S3 Eps 13: Masih di Bajak sama Om Om Ruang Lain Podcast nih, kayanya Happy bgt sampe 2 episode, kali ini Om Om mau bahas soal Hobinya nih, Hobinya Om Om apa ya?? Mmmmmmm kayanya sama deh semuanya suka gombalin Dede gemez --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ruang-tamu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ruang-tamu/support

Mmmmmmm don't you feel so relaxed? Feel the calm rush over you as you inhale this new episode. Corpse Pose. Child's pose. Babies Pose. Uncle's Pose. Um... Your Neighbor's Uncle's Rabbi's Taxidermist.. Pose. Idk you guys. I'm tired. I'm sitting here looking at the wall. I didn't sleep well last night because I had that recurring nightmare where my finger's are hot dogs and I have to dial 911 on a corded phone because Steve Buscemi is outside the window looking in and he won't leave??? But the hot dogs are slippery because they're uncooked, so it won't dial right. I can't go to sleep because Steve Buscemi is always waiting there, and I'm tired. Hosts Courtney and Alissa are back to talk about yoga and how they did for this week's challenge! They'll focus on some mad ways to get calm bro. Stretching is good your mind and your body bro. Feel those hammies sing bro!    Did you take part in the challenge? Join the conversation on Instagram or Facebook @smilingthroughtheconfusion to tell us how this week's challenge went for you! DM us anytime with any questions, comments, or ideas for new episodes. We'd love to hear from you!

Join us for week three of Food-Bruary, wherein we discuss the foods associated with the cultures we identify with. We also talk about foods we want to try, the most exotic foods we've eaten, and the downright weird stuff we put into our faces. Mmmmmmm food.

So close to Super Bowl Sunday I can smell the wings and queso and 7-layer dip. Mmmmmmm! Business to take care of first, though. Good Stuff with Rob Gronkowski; Jingles you can't stop singing; shopping and forgetting a way to pay; jingles you can't stop singing and lots more. Thanks for checking in.

analyzing the human psyche is the most efficient way of getting laid... this is not anything like I described so here you go.

You know those things that happen in life where you're left feeling happy, joyed, grinning, pleasant as fuck. Things like orgasms, fresh clean sheets, free food, a hotel room upgrade.. a girl with a nice vagina.. those things lol

Like all great things, HWIDG has reached its 200th anniversary. That's right we've been bringing you life's toughest issues for two hundred years now. Hard to imagine that this all started with two guys writing into their local newspaper about the death of Daniel Boone and how he was "an overrated hack". Their newfound brotherhood in all the things in life that bugged them created what will become today's media empire. Here's to two hundred more:* No Source* Collectible Coins* Ignoring Scalpers* Time to Load GamesThese days people are all about "aesthetic". Mood boards, screencap galleries, and more are plastered all over to get you to say "that's so aesthetic", whether its purple-soaked rainy cyberpunk or high end modern-day prosthetics-as-art or even retrofuture car dashboards. Even the dumb things you want to dunk on are their own dumb aesthetic. Therefore, you don't need to add any words or searchable features. They would just mess up the mood. That way you can get even more "engagement" by having everyone ask you what the hell it is you're aestheticing/dunking on.Coins! Unless you've got a mint condition 1823 strawpenny they're worth about their face value. It's just metal! Usually bad quality metal at that! Quarters made to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Watergate? Useless if they're made of the same things as regular quarters and they print a bazillion of them. Those commemorative 9/11 golden dollars you bought? Now those will be worth something when World War 3 happens. You could probably trade one of those puppies in for a week's worth of MREs. Mmmmmmm. Dehydrated chicken alfredo.Seems every time an expensive limited-edition hot new thing is announced, the inevitable happens. Terrible people abuse the systems in place or straight up use bots to grab every one they can, then once stock is out, sell them on eBay or Facebook Marketplace for five times the price. That means you don't get a new Playstation, some kid doesn't get their Scooby Doo Lego set, and some highschooler that got a part-time job to buy those new Jordans is now failing Math for no reason. And who cares about this? Not the manufacturers. It seems every time this happens they say "we're so sowwy, we had no idea that putting all of our current stock up for order at a single time and announcing it ahead of time would make them disappear faster than a chocolate cake at a fat girl's wedding." 20 years ago: insert cart/disk, boot into game, select your save and load, play. Currently: log in to your account, update console firmware, reboot, login, all your recently played games' updates are queued up, stop the ones you don't want so only the game you want to play now downloads its 43GB patch, watch YouTube on your phone but turn your Wi-Fi off so your console gets all the download juice, wait, let it unpack and patch, boot up the game, login to the Developer's account system, then finally you can play.All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!

Tillsammans med vår andlige ledare Pernilla får du träna dig i att bara vara dig själv och leva i nuet. Mmmmmmm. Visdom varvas med praktiska övningar. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The odd couple is back, after surviving lockdown so far and not killing each other these two look to having a good old chit chat about everything. This episode they talk about smelling like Ryan Reynolds, magpies, He-Man and lots more. Oh and find out why the Phat one is not happy .. follow them on Facebook - @MaritalMusings Instagram @mega_phat_ and twitter @mega_phat .. Strawberry needs to sort her social media out...... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/marital-musings/message

Mmmmmmm......fruits...... Join us this week for a fun episode filled with fruity games and a special listener call-in!   www.Patreon.com/EatYourSpanish Visit the link above to receive downloads of our Spanish learning songs, fun "Eat Your Spanish" at-home worksheets, and an opportunity to be featured on the show!  Your support means the world to us!

Hey there, this week HWIDG's coming to you live from our bunker 2 miles under the earth. As soon as the news of the coronavirus hit, we moved to our secret bunker operation, and no there's not room for anyone else, so have fun in Fallout! As your skin sloughs off up there, we're down here feasting on 50 lb. prepper meal buckets. Mmmmmmm, rehydrated Beef Product Enchiladas. Anyways, if your ears haven't filled up with blood and pus yet, stay around and listen to us bicker about:* Finally Getting Something Ruined* People Who Don't Understand Analogies* "Too Soon"* Other Mustang GuysThere comes a time in everyone's life when one of their beloved objects is ruined for the first time. Maybe they redesign your favorite car and now it's ugly. Maybe they reboot your favorite cartoon as a kid into a grimdark, sex-fueled, dystopian nightmare. Or perhaps your favorite movie is done yet again but with 500% more CG and as a 10-part TV miniseries. Or, they can take a franchise that you've just recently discovered and rip out all that makes it special among its peers and turn it into a generic sci-fi action series. Alex Kurtzman, I hope you contract this new coronavirus and the hospital TV only plays TNG repeats so maybe you learn something. And you do. You see the error of your ways, your body shakes off the terrible threat, you get released, and then I stab you in the throat with a bat'leth.Analogies are like cars. Most people that have them use them everyday, and understand how they work. They use them correctly, and with proper care. Then there's everyone else. Stupid people, mostly. They were taught how to drive, yet it went in one ear and out the other, and they survive on pure instinct. The kind of people that have hundreds of tickets, are constantly in accidents, and yet somehow their insurance says, yup, you're a great driver.When is it "too" soon? Probably in the room as the person’s dying. Once that heart stops beating? They’re game. Everyone dies. Everyone goes through other people’s deaths. And guess what? Laughter is the best medicine for grief. It gets you over that hump quicker. We should amend “too soon” to be “not funny enough”, because we’ve all laughed at a joke that was told “too soon” but laughed anyways because the joke was funny enough.Mustang drivers, they’re tightly-wound, rage-filled, speeding maniacs who are looking to take any and everyone out with themselves on the road. They tinker over every little part of their “baby”, they give it a dumb name, and we all know they’re compensating for their own small “hemi”. They measure themselves against their brethren constantly, gauging V6 vs V8, GT vs Shelby vs. Cobra vs. Anaconda vs. Not-being-a-douche. It may seem like we’re grouping a lot of different people together just because of the car they drive, and you’d be right.All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON, NEWPROJECT2 or by BUYING A SHIRT!

Am I nerd..? Mmmmm yeah. Can I talk about this for ever? Mmmmmmm yeah --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nobodysteabutourown/support

Aw yeah, baby!  The boys are back just in time for Dan to leave to go to France! But don't you worry your cute widdle face, uncle Jerry's got some friends who are coming on for the next, ultra-special episode of Craft Comics! THE SHOW  MUST GO ON This week we drink Turn Out the Light, an Imperial Stout with Chocolate and Coconut by the Brewing Projekt and Weldwerks Brewing. We also have a lil sip sip of a yummy-ummy Wee Heavy aged in Brandy Barrels. Mmmmmmm.

Sudáfrica se ha proclamado campeona del mundo de rugby y alcanza el estatus de una de las selecciones más grandes de la historia ¿no? Mmmmmmm, no sé. A ver qué dice Javier Señarís Senra. Además: las crisis de Barça y Real Madrid que serán verdaderamente serias cuando sean en singular, con Juanma Trueba, la nueva era del Bayern de Munich, con Pakillo Mariscal, toda la Semana 9 de la NFL empezando por la victoria de los Baltimore Ravens sobre los New England Patriots, con Iker Sagasti, y el gran inicio de temporada de Los Angeles Lakers y Miami Heat en la NBA, con PlanetaNBA.

Sudáfrica se ha proclamado campeona del mundo de rugby y alcanza el estatus de una de las selecciones más grandes de la historia ¿no? Mmmmmmm, no sé. A ver qué dice Javier Señarís Senra. Además: las crisis de Barça y Real Madrid que serán verdaderamente serias cuando sean en singular, con Juanma Trueba, la nueva era del Bayern de Munich, con Pakillo Mariscal, toda la Semana 9 de la NFL empezando por la victoria de los Baltimore Ravens sobre los New England Patriots, con Iker Sagasti, y el gran inicio de temporada de Los Angeles Lakers y Miami Heat en la NBA, con PlanetaNBA.

Sudáfrica se ha proclamado campeona del mundo de rugby y alcanza el estatus de una de las selecciones más grandes de la historia ¿no? Mmmmmmm, no sé. A ver qué dice Javier Señarís Senra. Además: las crisis de Barça y Real Madrid que serán verdaderamente serias cuando sean en singular, con Juanma Trueba, la nueva era del Bayern de Munich, con Pakillo Mariscal, toda la Semana 9 de la NFL empezando por la victoria de los Baltimore Ravens sobre los New England Patriots, con Iker Sagasti, y el gran inicio de temporada de Los Angeles Lakers y Miami Heat en la NBA, con PlanetaNBA.

Yukkkk ! Emmmmmmmm

We start off the episode with some big lols and sleep talking revelations! Then Loren gets a little bit heated about the world’s current political climate.. Blake talks about the difference between introverts and extroverts, and all things in between!

Welcome aboard the Monday Morning Monorail Podcast!  This week Samantha, Landon and Justin are joined by Kevin of the Mouse Knows Best Podcast and Trent and Jeni from THE Disney DNA Podcast as complete the Monday Morning Monorail Mega March Madness Match-up (#MMMMMMM). 36 Walt Disney World rides and attractions face-off to determine who will bring home the ultimate prize.  Let's hand out some hardware. Make sure to follow Disney DNA Podcast on Twitter @DisneyDNAPod, and you can download and subscribe to Disney DNA Podcast on all of your favorite podcast platforms. You can find Kevin on Twitter @Doubleoh_Kevin, and download and subscribe to The Mouse Knows Best Podcast on every podcast platform you can imagine. Landon is @Landoz on Twitter, and he has a new podcast called the R and D Project available now on Apple Podcast.  You can also visit his website at buttmunchchips.com

Mmmmmmm. Have you ever wondered what’s in a glove? Oh, baby, on this episode of We Are Experts, we dig to the bottom of it. We get inside. Oooohhhh it’s sweaty in here. Love it.

Welcome aboard the Monday Morning Monorail Podcast!  This week Samantha, Landon and Justin are joined by Kevin of the Mouse Knows Best Podcast and Trent and Jeni from THE Disney DNA Podcast as we dive in to round 1 of the Monday Morning Monorail Mega March Madness Match-up (#MMMMMMM). 36 Walt Disney World rides and attractions face-off to determine who will bring home the ultimate prize.  The competition is fierce, and we're so excited to watch it all unfold. Make sure to follow Disney DNA Podcast on Twitter @DisneyDNAPod, and you can download and subscribe to Disney DNA Podcast on all of your favorite podcast platforms. You can find Kevin on Twitter @Doubleoh_Kevin, and download and subscribe to The Mouse Knows Best Podcast on every podcast platform you can imagine. Landon is @Landoz on Twitter, and he has a new podcast called the R and D Project available now on Apple Podcast.  You can also visit his website at buttmunchchips.com  

Join us on Monday, February 25th for The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson! It's an Englandtimes/Highlandtimes book set in a London pleasure club! 2nd chance romance, exhibitionism, hot Highland warriors! MMmmmmm. 

Ännu en vecka! Ännu ett avsnitt till Dig, rakt ut från våra stekheta mikrofoner! Som vanligt tar vi inga fångar, snärjer in oss i diverse konstiga frågeställningar, listor, lider med skitfilmerna och jublar ihop med fullträffarna. Den här veckan praktiserar Fiffi dessutom som levande orakel. Lyssna bara när det gäller Oscarsnomineringsspekulationerna! OCH, vilka är det som vinner varsitt ex av den där räliga nunnan nu då?? In och lyssna! DESSUTOM! NY TÄVLING: Vinn ett ex av nya The Predator på blu ray! Släpps 28/1. (tack till Fox Home Entertainment)   Vinterkylan fortsätter!  Vi värmer dig. Hela tiden. Get some!

Season 2 The Life X Times of Eric is back for another season after a year hiatus. Eric drops Gems in Season 1 about Life, Goals and following your Ambitions.Shout out 2 this season`s sponsor Looks4Cooks "Where they Bring the Love of Good Food and Good People together"

Mmmmmmm... that cool, refreshing taste; nothing else hits that spot quite like a chilled glass of Coca Cola. Anyway, this week it's all about the move from print-to-pimp media and the world of influencers and the like. So settle in and try pouring yourself a serving of the first, non alcoholic beverage that springs to mind. All glory to the HYPNOTOAD!

Join Carlos, Nev, Adrian and Matt for this week's episode of the show. In today's programme (recorded on 09-Sep-2018) we discuss the protests over plans to build a Flight Training Academy in Gloucester, the rules for hand luggage change yet again for one low cost carrier and we talk about that data breach for the UK's legacy carrier. In the military Singapore show off their new A330 Tanker and Boeing win their first major defence contract in almost a decade. Nev treats us to a trip on Brighton's i360 and Pip is talking Astronomy in his latest feature. Share with us your stories by emailing us on podcast@planetalkinguk.com or get in touch on social media by searching PlaneTalkingUK. Here are the links to the stories we featured : COMMERCIAL : 1. https://www.punchline-gloucester.com/articles/aanews/plans-for-flight-training-academy-spark-protests 2. https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/ryanair-baggage-policy-change-latest-free-checked-luggage-priority-boarding-refund-a8526861.html 3. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/09/07/british-airways-warned-vulnerable-data-hacks/ 4. https://www.abc15.com/news/national/captain-buys-40-pizzas-for-his-airline-passengers-after-plane-forced-to-land-due-to-weather 5. https://eu.usatoday.com/story/travel/flights/todayinthesky/2018/09/06/california-pacific-west-coast-flights-carlsbad-palomar-san-diego/1196107002/ 6. https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/couple-traveling-world-free-million-banked-airline-miles/story?id=57654361 7. https://www.businesstraveller.com/business-travel/2018/09/06/british-airways-launches-vistara-codeshare/ 8. https://grapevine.is/news/2018/09/05/wow-air-ranked-worst-airline-in-the-world-for-flight-compensation/ 9. https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/business/northern-ireland/london-city-airport-setting-sights-on-airbus-passenger-plane-thats-partmade-in-northern-ireland-37290795.html 10. https://www.flightglobal.com/news/articles/openskies-retires-final-boeing-after-last-767-fligh-451757/ 11. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/07/climate/airport-global-warming-kansai.html MILITARY 1. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/iaf-mig-27-crashes-in-rajasthan-pilot-safe/articleshow/65665672.cms 2. https://www.flightglobal.com/news/articles/pictures-singapores-first-a330-tanker-makes-public-451614/ 3. https://www.flightglobal.com/news/articles/boeing-marks-first-big-defense-win-in-more-than-a-de-451695/ 4. https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/life/1014695/RAF-hero-Archie-McInnes-flies-again-aged-99-Battle-of-Britain-Spitfire

Have you ever tried writing an original blurb for a podcast when it has had 119 previous episodes? Let's see... we've done it in French, with loads of swearing and without vowells. We've even tried just saying what it is. Erm... how about sexy? Ooooh hello big boy! What a lovely cock you have! Fancy listening to Episode 120 of Which is the Best podcast? With your tits? Mmmmmmm... Slide into bed with Sammy Dobson off Doctors while Lee Kyle nips off for a wee (Some people like that). This week they sexilly decide between Opera (Horny) and Oprah (Sensual). I've arrived.

Episode 10! Double digits baby! This week your hosts Jonathan "Champagne" Varnet and James "Candi" DiPinto strap on their shiny tin foil Yarmulkes and dish out a healthy portion of truth sauce... Mmmmmmm. Drone pilots high on bath salts, Governors vetoing voter approved bills, kiddy diddlers in Hollywood and the return of the West Coast Chapter! It's 10pm, do you know where your children are? Download rate and subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher and wherever else you get your podcast fix. Find us on social media @TheoreticalPod on Facebook and @Theoretical_Pod on Twitter and Instagram. And visit sixsquirrelstudios.com for full episodes of our podcast and more! Edited And Produced by Six Squirrel Studios, Silicon Forrest, OR

DPR Unplugged brings you an acoustic set from the one and only Snatch Perimeter. Reunited after 133 bitter years with the surviving members of The Electric Justice, they play stripped back renditions of all their classics. Hear "Scunder's Pleasure" or the boogie-woogie anthem of the forties "Sporty Haughty Naughty Noughts", like you've never heard them before. Mmmmmmm.   Additional episode artwork and full credits:  http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-5-a-pack-a-day/

The bros are back and still a little loud but not as bad as it was last show. Hopefully, In this episode we discuss: Mmmmmmm. Nothing burger. I'm punk brah. NO I'M PUNK BRAH! An interesting... The post Episode 189 – In The Middle Of The Night first appeared on The Craft Beercast.

Oooom Baby! It's time for the March-Mid-March Meditation Men Maddness Meditation Marathon!!! Pump up your chakra sneakers and get ready for this spiritual spree! Love, Adam and Nik PS please write a review ONLY if it's kind-hearted and zenful

MMMmmmm.... It's a good one. Just in time for the Halloween Season, we get the all-new jet-fueled sounds of The Sister's Doom! That's right! Mark Earnest, Reno music deity, brings in some unreleased tracks from the as-yet unreleased The Sister's Doom album.

girl and a boy and another and any other and a tadpole lover...

Jamie was told to play the trombone because, after a childhood incident left his hand deformed, he was told he would never play the keyboard or the guitar.  So, today, we're happy to introduce to you Jamie Coyle, guitarist, singer, songwriter and motivational speaker.  We explore the band, the story behind his hand, a brand new song (free for download, by the way!), and his work with teenagers in schools.  He's fun, engaging, inspiring, transparent and, when you hear the song you'll see, tremendously talented. We also talk about the news broadcast that left Susie saying, “WHAT??!!!”  Two stories in one news broadcast were just too much to handle.  Consequently, she's questioning her decision to take her child on a ride at a theme park and considering boycotting women's artistic gymnastics at the Rio Olympics.  Sometimes, a simple news broadcast has personal consequences for its listeners.  And, this time, Susie took it personally. Episode Timeline: 03:21      Introducing Jamie Coyle from Selahphonic and Cat Vs Curiosity 20:01      About the new song “Ghosts of 1999” 22:41      The song – “Ghosts of 1999” 34:15      Red Shield Appeal 34:46      Things that make Susie go “Mmmmmmm”... News stories with a consequence   Show Links: To find out more about Jamie's band, go to:  selahphonic.com To download the new song:  Ghost of 1999 To find out more about his work in schools, go to:  Cat Vs Curiosity Red Shield Appeal To support Susie with Live Below the Line, go to:  Live Below the Line   Keep in Touch: SMS us on 0417 4555 37 (within Australia) or at +61 417 4555 37 (Outside Australia) Facebook Twitter:  @lukeandsusie

Listen in as Deva and MushMouth delve into the Politics of Dancing...the Politics of Mmmmmmm..Feeling Good!! We also have a phoner from KT from the band Romantic Rebel. Listen and ENJOY!!!

In this SUUUUUPER (echo, echo, echo) episode, we talk about the sights and sounds in San Diego... more specifically Old Town San Diego, and more specifically than that, the FOOD in Old Town San Diego: The best places for Mexican food. Then we compliment that with some Fried Chicken mmmmmm-MMMMMMM! Hot Sauce! More Snacks! And the wash it down with some craft SODA! ::YUM:: If you want a good budget vacation/staycation, that's one place to go.... just not Disneyland. S[Say WHAT?!?] That's rights, prices have gone up again and will continue to go up as the crowds continue to descend on the parks. So what is one to do??? Save your money and buy a Pebble... [that's stupid... a rock!?!] NO! A watch! Smartwatches are the smart thing to do now... unless you don't like watches, then I can't help you... get a pager... So join us as we wax a bit nostalgic in this SUUUUUUUUPER [INTERNATIONAL] EPISODE [TOP NOTCH] PODCAST [AUDITORY STIMULATING] OF [SUPERMASSIVE] EPIC [EXPLOSIONS] PROPORTIONS [FIREALLS] [MORE AWESOME ADJECTIVES] WOOOOOOOO!

We welcome awesome stand up comedian Emily Heller to This Feels Terrible to talk thel TFT brand of relationship heart ache! MmmmMmm... sadness.

In our 156th ever Rum Doings, our topic is isn't it about time we went to war with Russia? Recorded across the Atlantic, on an overly-loud laptop mic in San Francisco, and Nick's echo chamber in London, Nick naturally insists on talking about bloody videogames. John was at GDC at the time of recording, so despite wanting to talk about anything else, Nick must be obeyed. There's also talk about San Francisco itself - a peculiar and unsettling mix of opulence and horrendous poverty. As John struggles through his cold, Nick expresses his hatred of women, and we give the latest news on the death penalty. And hash browns. Mmmmmmm, hash browns.

I was going to do some inspirational speech here but now I’m just thinking about pie. Mmmmmmm pie….. I’m so hungry… Join Alex, Peter, Russ and myself as we fight back against Red Dawn and get a little introspective with Life of Pie. Recorded on December 5th, 2012. The post Movie Movie Podcast #25: Red Pie appeared first on Movie Movie Podcast.

I was going to do some inspirational speech here but now I’m just thinking about pie. Mmmmmmm pie….. I’m so hungry… Join Alex, Peter, Russ and myself as we fight back against Red Dawn and get a little introspective with Life of Pie. Recorded on December 5th, 2012. The post Movie Movie Podcast #25: Red Pie appeared first on Movie Movie Podcast » Movie Movie Podcast.

Art talks about a food from his younger days and how he fears it may never be as good as he remembers it.  We discuss gardening, a summer without children, and yes…geocaching. Earth Cache Masters – International caching event The Spot For emergencies and weather disasters Emergency Distress Beacon Share your location Droid World wide [...]

The best of Steve Allen. If you love celebrities, you'll LOVE this! 'Any competitions heard in these podcasts are no longer active and are not available to enter.'

JamStudio, KidRex, KVL Research, Impossible2Possible, Historial Tweets, Reflection Activities, GPS w/ students, Tools for Reading the World, AT&T Knowledge Network, The Copyright Site, Kids' Why Questions, Bump and Shakespeare

asset title: Episode 12: Pronouns - Just look at yourself filename: ra_12.mp3 track number: 12/22 time: 22:18 size: 18.30 MB bitrate: 112 kbps In Episode 12, Just look at yourself, we continue our study of pronouns with reflexive pronouns, which are used with verbs where the action is reflected back onto the subject. We will also talk about the interesting metamorphoses that take place when two pronouns occur with one verb. Two esteemed pronoun experts will be joining us, Dottor Ballanzone, of course, and Dr. Prunella Pronominetti from the Grammar Abuse Society! Let's listen!Dialog: ItalianIl Dottore, per i Verbi PronominaliDottore: Salve, gentili ascoltatori! Mi trovo qui nello studio oggi per svolgere un compito molto piacevole: quello di sottolineare quanto vi divertirete, quando vi sarete impadroniti dei Verbi Pronominali. Infatti, è quasi impossibile esprimersi bene nella nostra favella senza di essi. Non fermatevi ora! Continuate ad imparare, a coniugare... soprattutto questi bei Verbi Pronominali che si offrono ora alla vostra riflessione. Guardatevi allo specchio e ditevi: 'Proprio oggi mi metto a parlare con tutto il potere dei Verbi Pronominali! Me lo raccomanda il bravo Dottore, che si specializza in queste cose, ergo, devono essere buoni!' In speculo non pulchritas -- sed veritas!Dialog: EnglishThe Dottore, for Pronominal VerbsDottore: Hail, kind listeners! I'm here in the studio today to perform a very pleasant task: that of emphasizing how much fun you will have when you have mastered the Pronominal Verbs. In fact, it is almost impossible to express oneself well in our tongue without them. Don't stop now! Continue to learn, to conjugate... above all these fine Pronominal Verbs which are offered now for your reflexion. Look at yourselves in the mirror and say to yourselves: 'This very day I shall begin to speak with the full power of the Pronominal Verbs! The good Dottore recommends it, the Dottore who specializes in these matters, ergo, they must be good!' In speculo non pulchritas -- sed veritas! Dialog: ItalianIl Dottore, per il Caffè ChiarezzaDottore: Signori e Signore! Studenti e studentesse! Alti e bassi, belli e brutti, venite, ascoltate, imparate! Eccola, eccola, eccola! La sostanza quasi magica, senz'altro deliziosissima, che rende ogni mattina più che tollerabile! Chi di voi mi aiuterà a fare la prova? Lei, signore? No? Lei, signorina?Colombina: Dottore! Buon giorno, Dottore! Ma Lei che cosa sta facendo qui?Dottore: Sssshhhhh... Colombina, ti prego, fai finta di non conoscermi! Dai, aiutami... Brava, signorina, mi dica, per favore, come comincia la sua giornata tipica?Colombina: Beh, insomma, prima di tutto, mi sveglio...Dottore: Si sveglia! Ottimo! La signorina si sveglia. E si alza, non è così?Colombina: No, cioè non mi alzo subito... preferisco dormire ancora qualche minutino... mi piglio ancora dieci, quindici minuti di pace e riposo prima di alzarmi.Dottore: Si piglia ancora un quarto d'ora di beato sonno! Brava! E poi...Colombina: Mi alzo, sì. Mi metto l'accappatoio, mi lavo la faccia.Dottore: La signorina si alza, si veste e si lava! Brava, brava...Colombina: Mi guardo allo specchio, e... e...Dottore: Si guarda allo specchio e.. come si sente?Colombina: Mi sento... mi sento come se avessi una nebbia densa intorno alla testa...Dottore: Ho capito! Tutti ci siamo sentiti così, la mattina presto, non è vero? E ci dica, signorina, come si libera da questa nebbia mattutina?Colombina: Bene, io, come tanti altri, mi preparo un buon caffè ...Dottore: Si prepara un buon caffè! Brava, brava! E quale caffè usa Lei, signorina?Colombina: Io? Beh, io, a casa, c'ho il caffè Valazza.Dottore: Ah-ha! Il caffè Valazza ce l'ho anch'io, qui! Vediamo adesso se sa riconoscere il caffè che, secondo Lei, lei beve ogni mattina!Colombina: Oh!Dottore: Ecco tre caffè diversi. Uno, e solo uno, è il suo caffè Valazza. Lo saprà distinguere dagli altri? Venga, signorina, li assaggi e ci dica, qual è il caffè che secondo Lei, è quello più delizioso, più profumato, più capace di distruggere quella nebbia mattutina!Colombina: Eh ... volentieri ...Dottore: Ecco la prima tazzina! Coraggio, assaggi pure. Come lo trova?Colombina: Oh! Questo caffè è troppo forte!Dottore: Avete sentito? Questo caffè è troppo forte! Forza, avanti! Prego, signorina, ecco la seconda tazzina! Assaggi! Come lo trova?Colombina: Oh! Questo caffè è troppo debole!Dottore: Avete sentito? Questo caffè è troppo debole! Ora ci resta solo questo, l'ultima tazzina! Assaggi! Come lo trova?Colombina: Oh! Mmmmmmm ... Aaaaaahhhh ... Questo è il caffè che fa per me! È perfetto!Dottore: Avete sentito? Questo è il caffè che fa per lei! Il caffè perfetto! Signorina, crede che questo sia il Suo caffè Valazza?Colombina: Non lo so, ma è squisito! Me ne offre ancora un pochino, Dottore?Dottore: Ha, ha! Pazienza, signorina. Vediamo prima quale caffè è stato troppo forte ... Ecco ... Caffè Valazza! Troppo forte il Caffè Valazza!Colombina: Oh!Dottore: Vediamo ora quale caffè è stato troppo debole ... Ecco ... Caffè Valazza Light! Troppo forte il Caffè Valazza Light!Colombina: Oh!Dottore: Vediamo ora quale caffè è stato per - fet - to! Ecco ... Caffè Chiarezza! Il Caffè Chiarezza è il caffè che fa proprio per lei! Il caffè perfetto che distrugge la nebbia mattutina!Caffè Chiarezza -- chiaramente il migliore -- ve lo dice il Dottore!Grazie, Colombina, mi hai proprio salvato ...Colombina: Mi rallegro, Dottore!Dialog: EnglishThe Dottore, for Caffè ChiarezzaDottore: Ladies and gentlemen! Students! Tall and short, handsome and homely, come, listen, learn! Here it is, here it is, here it is! The almost magical substance, certainly scrumptious, that makes every morning more than tolerable! Who among you will help me to prove it? You, sir? No? You, miss?Colombina: Dottore! Good day to you, Dottore! But what are you doing here?Dottore: Sssshhhhh ... Colombina, I beg of you, pretend not to know me! Come on, help me ... Fine, miss, tell me, please, how does your typical day begin?Colombina: Well, I mean, first of all, I wake up...Dottore: You wake up! Excellent! The young lady wakes up! And then you get up, don't you?Colombina: No, that is, I don't get up right away ... I prefer to sleep for another little minute or two ... I grab myself another ten, fifteen minutes of peace and rest before I get up. Dottore: You grab yourself another quarter hour of blessed sleep! Fine! And then...Colombina: I get up, yes. I put on my robe, I wash my face.Dottore: The young lady gets up, she gets dressed, she washes up! Fine, fine...Colombina: I look at myself in the mirror and ... and ... Dottore: You look at yourself in the mirror... and how do you feel?Colombina: I feel ... I feel as though I had a dense fog about my head ...Dottore: I understand! We have all felt that way, early in the morning, isn't it true? And tell us, miss, how do you free yourself of that morning fog? Colombina: Well, I, like so many others, I make myself a good cup of coffee. Dottore: You make yourself a good cup of coffee! Fine, fine! And what coffee do you use, miss?Colombina: Me? Well, me, at home, I have Caffè Valazza.Dottore: Ah-ha! I too have Caffè Valazza right here! Let's see now if you can recognize the coffee that you say you drink every morning!Colombina: Oh!Dottore: Here are three different coffees. One, and only one, is your own Caffè Lavazza. Will you be able to distinguish it from the others? Come, miss, try them and tell us, which is the coffee that according to you, is the most delicious, the most capable of destroying that morning fog!Colombina: Eh ... gladly ...Dottore: Here's the first little cup! Now then, go ahead and try it! How is it?Colombina: Oh! This coffee is too strong!Dottore: Did you hear? This coffee is too strong! Onward, now! Here, miss, the second little cup! Try it! How is it?Colombina: Oh! This coffee is too weak!Dottore: Did you hear? This coffee is too weak! Now we have but one left, the last little cup! Try it! How is it?Colombina: Oh! Mmmmm .... Aaaahhh ... This is just the coffee for me! It's perfect! Dottore: Did you hear? This is just the coffee for her! The perfect coffee? Miss, do you believe that this is your Caffè Valazza?Colombina: I don't know, but it's exquisite! Won't you offer me a little bit more, Dottore? Dottore: Ha, ha! Patience, Miss. Let's first see which coffee was too strong ... Behold ... Caffè Valazza! Too strong: Caffè Valazza!Colombina: Oh!Dottore: Let's see now which coffee was too weak ... Behold ... Caffè Valazza Light! Too weak: Caffè Valazza Light!Colombina: Oh!Dottore: Let's see now which coffee was perfect! Behold... Caffè Chiarezza! Caffè Chiarezza is just the coffee for her! The perfect coffee that destroys the morning fog!Caffè Chiarezza -- clearly the best -- the Dottore says so! Thank you, Colombina, you've really saved me ...Colombina: I'm glad, Dottore!

! America! "oooooooh beautiful, for spacious skies..." (I can't think of that without hearing Fozzy Bear say "patriotism swells in the heart of the American Bear!" as he does after singing that song on The Muppet Movie soundtrack.) --boy do I love him--who is an appropriate precursor to our next novellist (I think). Teresa in Scotland (Go Clan MacPhearson!) wanted me to pass on these links to you: first, two mosquito attacking . She recommends a product rather than a soap or shampoo...especially for people like me who are Mosquito Magnets. And second, a new . Mmmmmmm...extruded protein! Love it!

On our trip back East, I did lots of activities, such as fishing and golfing. However, all that outdoor activity left me with a body covered in mosquito bites and a huge sunburn. Click on the images below to see. For today's dance, I continue my little car dance I posted on Thursday. It's a great song for doing actions. Mmmmmmm, now I'm hungry for pie. :) [Apple format]   [Windows format] American Pie (Part 2) I have one more dance video from our trip. I'll bring that to you on Monday morning. After that, it's back to the living room. Have a great weekend! - Daily Dancer

Episode 97     MMMM KombuchaIn todays episode talk about making kombucha. Amazon Links to the items I mention in the episode:Starter Kit https://amzn.to/3FnRO6dOolong https://amzn.to/3MPR9ghCeylon https://amzn.to/3F6JCXKJars https://amzn.to/3kv0DkWBottles https://amzn.to/3y8OaexTea Balls https://amzn.to/3FafSt9Sugar https://amzn.to/3y9CUPo Item of the Week Amazon Links:Mueller French Press Double Insulated 304 Stainless Steel Coffee Maker   https://amzn.to/38FL8nEManual Coffee Bean Grinder with Ceramic Burrhttps://amzn.to/3kvpjK3 Coffee with Brian featuring Matt Derosier of FarmHop Life: https://youtu.be/Pre2D9_ozvAFarmHopLife on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4ibRHh_SQ709whN0CHf_uQ Order your comfrey here: https://thelotsproject.com/product-category/comfrey/ Check out Ryan with Curio Bullion at https://curiobullion.club or curiobullion on Instagram Find me on Fountain and participate in Value for Value exchange:https://play.fountain.fm/show/R7hma2cje0Xf9GaXR3B4 The LOTS Project Playlist on YT: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhVhFByPLDZk_7mNXUDI88J5OmYjQ02Jm Find me on Fountain and participate in Value for Value exchange:https://play.fountain.fm/show/R7hma2cje0Xf9GaXR3B4  Product Reviews: https://thelotsproject.com/product-reviews/ Telegram Chat https://t.me/LOTSChat To find out more about The LOTS Project please visit https://thelotsproject.com or find me on social media: https://t.me/TheLOTSProject (channel) https://t.me/LOTSChat (chat) https://flote.app/user/TheLOTSProject https://amzn.to/3unw0nK https://mewe.com/p/thelotsproject https://odysee.com/@TheLOTSProject https://www.youtube.com/happyhillshomestead https://rumble.com/c/TheLOTSProject https://www.instagram.com/lots_project/ https://www.facebook.com/LOTSProject/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-lots-project/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands