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Tadifi's legendBook 3 in 18 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.Meanwhile, Elsa was quietly amused. It wasn't like I could request the SD to force my House Guard to not do something they had been told to do by someone in my hierarchy. That would lead to chaos, and it was unfair to Juanita."Fine," I decided. "Get us three some water. Elsa and I will be practicing."Now Juanita was stuck. I wasn't asking her to leave the room, just leave me alone. I was technically her leader, respect notwithstanding."It is good to see you have not become drunk with power," Elsa smirked once Juanita had left on her errand."Your mockery is unappreciated," I glared back. I was only kidding. "I haven't seen you around recently. It is good to see you.""It is good to see you too," Elsa said in a voice far softer and compassionate than I would have preferred. After all, she had me drugged, beaten, then beaten me up again in the not so distant past.Of course, I had also sexed her up, bringing her to orgasm with my fingers alone. We had also exchanged a burning French kiss in Katrina's office that Buffy was aware of. Then there was the Buffy-Elsa personal feud and the Elsa-Rhada family feud. Balancing that was Elsa's super-hot body and intriguing personality. Sex with her promised to be memorable, more memorable than normal."What have you been up to? I'd like to say I've been behaving myself, but I don't want to advance our relationship by lying (right now, about this).""You are largely responsible for what I've been up to the past two weeks," she stepped back. She tossed her spear aside and entered her fighting stance. How nice of her to warn me, and get rid of her weapon. How erotically odd of her to give me the illusion of a chance."I deny everything," I rocked back. She was blindingly fast. The fact that I was able to block most of the blow was a testament to how much I had learned in the past two and a half months."Watashi wa nihongo o hanashimasu', 'Wǒ shuō pǔtōnghu ', 'Wǒ shuō guǎngdōng hu ' and 'Aku isa basa jawa'," she lectured me as she maneuvered me into a corner with a series of kicks and feints. She spoke Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese and Javanese. That was nice to know."Wait," then she kicked me off the mat."Amazons don't have a 'time out'," she smiled. I cautiously worked my way back onto the practice area."What part did you play?" I readied myself. This time, I went on the offensive. I used my greater strength and reach to compensate (rather poorly) for her superior reflexes."Someone had to ride herd on those disparate forces. My status was respected by the Amazons, I had experience dealing with outsiders, plus your person Addison nominated me, and Katrina suggested that you and I were close. That was enough for the Khanate. Your embassy and earlier aid to the Seven Families brought the 9 Clans along.""And you stole the carrier?""It was an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to humiliate the Seven Pillars," she grinned. "Riding in a nuclear submarine was interesting, right up there with running around, spray painting translations next to all the markings onboard the captured vessel. Herding regular civilians wasn't nearly as much fun.""In the annals of the SD, that is going to be a victory hard to surpass," I got out right before my legs were swept out from under me. Before I could roll over, she landed on top of me. She didn't go for a pin. Elsa simply sat there, straddling my hips and looking down at me. We were both breathing heavily."I owe you for that," she patted me on my bare chest."Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?""I'll let you figure that out during the Great Hunt," she gave a sliver of a smile."Not you too," I groaned."Who else are you worried about?""You and twenty-nine other Amazons. By name, Rachel. She's pretty upbeat about her chances and believes she has a score to settle.""Rachel will be a tough one," Elsa acknowledged."Comfortable?" Juanita muttered."Yes, I am," Elsa grinned her way. "Thank you for asking." Juanita gave me a look that suggested I do something like protest, or actually try to fight her off."Why are you being nice to me?" I wondered."I've learned to appreciate your numerous qualities," Elsa enlightened me. "I am also honest enough to admit I was completely wrong about you. You make a good Amazon." That was huge praise indeed and more importantly, it was to a public audience. I was double fortunate that no one was close enough to see Elsa's camel toe resting against my lightly covered hard-on."Thank you. Is there anything I can do for you?""Aren't you engaged to someone?" Juanita reminded me. What she was really saying was 'don't you know you belong to the maidens of House Ishara?' Trust me, I know these things. Had she meant Hana, she would have said Hana."She has the patience of Job," I reasoned. "Oh, Elsa, Job is a figure in the Old Testament of the Bible." I doubted she knew."Oh. Is he a bloody-handed butcher, raging misogynist, or one of those pacifistic wimps?""He's a nice guy who gets swallowed by a whale.""That's Jonah," Juanita corrected me. "Job is the one who was tested by God. Job accepted God taking away all his family, wealth and health, only to be rewarded for his loyalty to God with more than he ever had before.""Wimp.""I would never turn away from Ishara," Juanita rumbled."Zorja would never feel the need to test my loyalty so," Elsa riposted."Oh look," I thrust my hips up. "I seem to need a shower." Elsa's expression was of superiority and lust combined into a lethal cocktail of my demise."Let's go. You can wash my back," she said as she rose over me. She even offered me a hand up. That was unexpected and accepted warily."Is there some battle wound that makes you incapable of bathing yourself?" Juanita got feisty. Holy Hell, she was my Caribbean Buffy-twin."None," Elsa smugly commented. "I like the feel of his hands on my body. He possesses non-threatening masculinity wed with sisterly solidarity. It is a unique experience that you seem woefully unaware of.""Yippee!" I whispered."You really are a man-whore," Juanita declared under her breath."Check," I gave her a thumbs-up. Sadly, Elsa gave me enough respect to walk at my side, not in front of me (so I could have been mesmerized by her buttocks.) As I was stripping down in the locker room, I noticed Juanita hovering close by. "Are you going to follow me into the shower?""Yes.""Why? I am not going to be in danger in the middle of Havenstone.""I'll be the judge of that," she insisted."You do realize I've had sex with an audience before, don't you?""I've been warned about that and know proper counter-measures.""What? What kind of measures?" I was now naked and, towel in hand, was making my way to the communal showers."Charlie horses, trips, stun-gun if applicable," she informed me with relish."You are threatening to damage my prestige," I enlightened her."Cáel, I was chosen for more than my martial skills. I was selected because I will not wilt before your childish ways.""Are you a lesbian?""No. Why would a woman have to be a lesbian to withstand your wiles?""You'll figure it out eventually," I chuckled. Actually, knowing what a playboy-cad I was turned out to be a counter-intuitive edge for me. Expecting me to be a letch just meant I totally ignored the woman. Then the doubt would set in. 'Why wasn't I hitting on her?' she would think. She'd go through the phase of her not being good enough for me to knowing that wasn't the case, definitely, and would come at me to prove herself right. Wham-bam, another one in the can. Oink.Step One: reduce the amount of time talking to her as a fellow human traveler of life. From here on out, I would address her by her name when I wanted something and otherwise treat her like furniture ~ furniture I was comfortable with. In this case, I treated her like a towel rack. She promptly dropped it. That was okay, I was planning to get dressed wet anyway.I rinsed off my hair quickly as Elsa settled underneath the showerhead beside me. As soon as I finished, she handled me a bottle of (scentless) body soap. It was probably one of those the jaguar will smell me coming ten miles away excuses Amazons used to avoid being girlie. I got my hands all sudsy and began working on her shoulders and neck from behind.Wordlessly, Elsa followed my physical directions, allowing me to wash her arms before working my way down her back in languid, amorous circles. Around the 10th thoracic vertebrae, Elsa gave me a deep, cleansing exhalation. I dug my fingers into her taut back muscles, racking them down to her buttocks, deftly ran them along the sides of her glutes and finished up caressing them along the line between her thighs and ass.I worked her buttocks apart, worked my fingers along her perineum, tickling the back of her labia then up, across her anus and back to her tailbone and the small of her back. A crazy idea came to me: maybe I could talk her into a tramp stamp; something like If you are reading this, know I'll kill you next. That would be so Elsa.I lathered her ass up for another half-minute before working my way down to her thighs, starting with the hip joints and then coaxing of her parted lips. I knelt down so that I was resting on the balls of my feet. Elsa obliged me by parting her legs, standing on her toes with her feet over a foot apart, then placing her hands against the shower stall while arching her back so that her hips were thrust back."Oh, come on," Juanita protested. "What kind of bath is this?""Did you hear something?" Elsa looked down at me."Nope. I was focusing all of my attention on you," I smiled up at her. I was really liking the way her muscles were stressed through her exertions. I couldn't seem to pay enough attention to her robust calves. I didn't pass up the opportunity to plant gentle kisses on each cheek either.Elsa's ankles and feet happened all too fast and the pretense of a bath was complete. She looked at me while she soaped up her breasts then let the water cascade all over her body."Thank you, Cáel," she gave me a regal nod of her damp head, turned and left. "Train harder for the Hunt. You are going to need every edge you can get.""I'm stalking oysters over the weekend. They are cunning and stealthy adversaries," I replied sagely. Elsa snorted, then started toweling off as she left, going toward her own locker. I walked past my soaked towel on the floor without a single glance. Juanita stalked behind me, clearly with a lot on her mind she was now waiting for the proper moment to share. I got dressed."Not going to dry off?" she grumbled."I never use towels," I lied. "I like the rain-washed feel." By ignoring her act of defiance, I really steamed her. I wasn't done. As we headed toward the elevator, I opened up with my next jibe. Buffy really shouldn't challenge me so. I'm a past-master of dealing with clingy, bossy women."Regretting you made that bet?" I mused while we waited."What bet?" she simmered."The bet where you assured Buffy and whomever else was in the room that you wouldn't break down and physically harm me ~ punishing me for my wicked ways?""What? How did," she groused then, "You are playing me.""Yep.""You really are full of yourself," she seared me with her gaze."No, but I know what I'm good at and I'm good at frustrating women. I've been working at it for the past four years and I've got over 200 women who would agree that I'm very good at doing it.""Why are you doing this to me? I'm on your side," she turned all pouty and hurtful."Because if I don't, I'll go mad, Juanita," I enlightened her. "You want to protect me, right?""Yes," she sensed a verbal trap. The elevator opened and we stepped in."See, I don't want to be protected," I started."That's,""Let me finish, please," I stopped her. She gave me the visual 'go-ahead'. "I don't want to live a life where I need to be protected. I don't want to worry that women I hang out with could be cornered by some unsavory types at an eatery because those women happen to know and like me.""I admire what you are doing, I really do. This is not the life I wanted, though. This is not what I wanted to be doing four months after leaving college. I wanted to be some corporate worm, barely scraping by on my work reviews and being, as you said, 'a man-whore'.""You don't have that luxury," she pointed out."Am I not doing my job?" I countered."I guess you are," she grudgingly admitted."Yet you feel you have the right to critique my personal life and how I approach it," I related. "I'm not beating you up by playing the I am Ishara bullshit. I certainly don't expect anyone to be grateful to me for the opportunity to be in a House. I don't because I believe that every member of House Ishara has already proven they belong here before I ever meet them. I believe in you. Sometimes I would appreciate it if my sisters would give me the same respect."She looked away because my harpoon had struck home."Unlike the rest of you, I inherited my place in this madhouse. Unlike every other Amazon here, I am only a part of House Ishara because I am the choice of a thousand ancestors to be our leader. Notice that no one asked me if I wanted to do this. And I don't think I ask too much of you because frankly, there are times when I feel unworthy to be in your company.""You are still Ishara and I must still be your guardian," she held her ground. I glared at her. She glared back. I coughed. She kept glaring."What's my name?""Oh," she shrugged. "Cáel Wakko Ishara.""That may sound silly you to, but I have chosen the designations for myself, my First Ancestor and the Goddess for a good reason."We rode in silence. When we got to the ground floor, we made our way to our bikes and got ready to head home."What is the reason?""To never take ourselves too seriously. The worst thing I can think to befall my House is we become as humorless as the rest of the bitches around here. 'Laugh at Death' should be our motto.""Isn't that a bit childish?""Of course it is," I groaned. "You clearly haven't been paying attention to a damn thing I've been saying. I swear I'm thinking about bringing back 'National Clown Nose Day'.""We had a 'National Clown Nose Day'?" she pedaled to keep up."God help me," I muttered.(Where is my Serge?)"You are not going to let me go through my door first?" I sighed in exasperation. Juanita insisted that she go through every door first, because today was so very different than yesterday, when I had Pamela, perhaps I protest too much."You have a gun," a somewhat familiar voice said from inside my/Timothy's apartment. Oh, fuck. Ya know, because Juanita was as pretty as she was lethal, which is to say 'too much for the given company'."Don't make any sudden moves unless you want to see it," Juanita cautioned her."Oh, it's okay," Odette intervened. "This is Anais Saint-Armour. She's a Mountie.""Oh, she's on the List too," Juanita grumbled. "What has he done wrong this time?""Why don't you tell me who you are first?" Anais growled at Juanita while I pushed my way into the room."I don't like your attitude," Juanita glared."Anais, this is Juanita Leya Antonio Garza; she's my latest bodyguard. Juanita, this is Anais, a good friend of mine who helped save my life in Hungary when the 'terrorists' were closing in," I somewhat exaggerated,, she had helped me catch up with the rest of the team when Pamela and I got sidetracked."Why did he chose you?" Anais fumed. Did I mention she's insanely jealous with an aching need to know why I was marrying anyone else, but her."What list?" Odette proved to be on the ball."He didn't chose me. I volunteered for the spot.""Buffy made an anti-girlfriend list. Elsa is on it too," I mumbled."I bet you did," Anais (responding to Juanita)."It is not like that," I moved to interpose myself between my Mountie and my non-mounted (for now) guardian. "I'm on the board of directors for Havenstone now and,""How did that happen?" Anais turned 'The Force' on me. (That's Canadian for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, really) "You insisted (reference back in the days we were seeing one another) you were impoverished.""I inherited it from my Father,""He's poor too. I ran a background check when we first started dating," Anais kept up the pressure."My Mother?""She's dead.""Okay, it was my Father through a convoluted meandering of genetics," I went back to attempting the truth (shame on me)."Which is it?" she glowered."My Father, but it's too complicated to get into now," I tried to touch her. She recoiled. She was still pissed with me."He's telling the truth this time," Odette rose to my defense."Why didn't you tell me this when you were in Hungary? For that matter, if you are rich, why didn't you use those resources to get yourself out of trouble instead of involving me?" She really was a great cop."I had to make a call to someone I trusted and who couldn't be traced back to me, or Havenstone, or the Irish Embassy," I fibbed."What have you gotten yourself into?" Anais thawed somewhat."I believe I promised you dinner," I reminded her."You did.""Where are we going?" Juanita stressed our lack of privacy."'We' aren't going anywhere. Ms. Anais Saint-Armour and I are going to a restaurant of her choosing. Don't worry about it. She carries a gun.""I'm not carrying a gun," Anais torpedoed my plan."Where are we going?" Juanita repeated herself. I had to switch mental gears quickly to take in the new looks I was getting from Anais. I shouldn't have ignored those cues."I can't get around my personal security service," I sighed. Why did I give in? Anais was all about gathering evidence and then drawing conclusions from the facts in available.I had been involved in some significant bad-assery in Europe that was way beyond anything she would have associated with the old me. Terrorist cells duking it out with me (and others) in a Budapest metro station? A rustic inn being reduced to ashes after a suspected firefight? Bomb threats? A full-scale military operation in Romania?I had been kidnapped with a resultant massive manhunt for me then returned under highly mysterious circumstances. There had been a young girl with me, we were close for reasons not really gone into and I had saved her despite all forms of parenthood had been anathema to me.I was a man who others deemed necessary to protect, thus a man making secretive phone calls, getting snippets of information and being involved in the deaths of way too many people to be the old, playboy me. Who had I become?I therefore might be a man who 'needed' to marry a billionairess due to some unspeakable political reasons, not out of any romantic/sexual desire of my own. Anais knew that I was a commitment-phobe, not a gold-digger. That meant she could be involved with me without it really being cheating. I needed her help, I had reached out to her when I was in crisis and she was in the people-helping business, right?There was clearly more evidence out there for her to discover and she had the good fortune to be able to have me in a spot where I could be interrogated."Where do you want to go?" I disengaged and went to my room. The door was only partially shut as I changed."Eleven Madison West," I was told."Oh," Odette cooed, "that place is expensive.""I know," Anais remarked."Why did you pick it?" Odette inquired."To remind Cáel that meals can be very expensive." That was my 'date' reminded me that I'd cheated with her over the course of a home-cooked meal, cooked not-by-her in someone else's home. I wondered how Maya was doing.Eleven Madison West meant I pulled out one of my Havenstone suits. They were tailored after all and I suspected that getting into this place at this time of night was going to take some charisma and finagling. Dressing as causal-me wouldn't do. When I stepped out, jaws dropped ~ I do look good all gussied up. Odette dispelled the shock by jumping into my arms."You look hot," she squealed. "Too bad I'm not going out with you.""You might want to remember that," Anais griped."We need to stop by Havenstone so I can attempt to dress up for this affair," Juanita stated."How about we call in a replacement? Give you the night off?" I suggested."Who?""Chaz?""You want that British SSR non-commissioned officer to be your personal bodyguard for tonight? You've got balls," Juanita coughed. I took out my phone and got ready to give him a call."Hey, Anais, why didn't you call me to tell me you were coming over?" I carefully avoided the word 'warned' as she would take that the wrong way."I don't have your personal phone number. I called your home phone and got the answering service, last night and again this morning," she narrowed her eyes."Odette, did Timothy get lucky last night?" I looked past the Mountie."No. A good friend of his rolled his motorcycle and he went to the hospital to help him out," Odette shook her head. Poor Timothy. My roomie/fuck-buddy misinterpreted Anais's pique. "Timothy is gay, not a sexual enabler.""Huh?" Juanita wondered."Wingman," I translated. "Sometimes the three of us go to gay clubs where I act as his wingman,""And they feed me to lesbians," Odette sounded enthusiastic. Thanks to me she was hardly a same-sex virgin."If there are three people living here and two bedrooms, who sleeps on the sofa?" Anais skewered Odette with her eyes."If Cáel has company and isn't sharing, I sleep with Timothy," Odette refused to wilt, or cut me some slack with Anais."Isn't sharing?" those ocular death orbs flicked my way."Hmm, if we are going to Elven Madison West, I had better make that call," I evaded. I rang Chaz."Nyilas," he answered. "How are you doing this evening?""I'm good. I have an ex-girlfriend from out of town visiting, she wants to go to a swanky place and Juanita isn't dressed for the detail so,""You want me to double date?""No, I need a bodyguard.""You are assuming I have something appropriate to wear.""You are British!" I protested. "Even your chicks have tuxedos.""Very well. Will this be a personal protection detail, or close support?""Aahhh,""Close support," said Anais."Personal Protection," countered Juanita."The one most likely to save me from being stabbed with a steak knife," I muttered."I am not going to physically attack you," Anais simmered. Yeah, right, I had heard that one before, and not just from her."Personal Protection it is," Chaz informed me."Oh, and she's a Mountie.""Is she armed?""No," I thanked the goddesses."Does she want to be?""Huh? Are you going to arm her?" I panicked."No. You have a NYPD liaison. Give Officer Kutuzov a call and make a formal request. If she is a law enforcement officer in good standing, it shouldn't be a problem.""Oh, I can do that?, I'm not sure that's the best idea," I prevaricated."Man up, Nyilas," he chided me. "You should work on making it so women don't want to shoot you instead of thinking of ways to disarm them.""Spoken like a man who wisely prefers the company of other men," I grumbled."Good use of the word 'wisely'. Next question: what are we using as a means of conveyance?""Umm,""I have my motorcycle," Anais was less than helpful."If you weren't one of the bravest human beings I'd ever met, I would determine at this moment that you are a dolt. Call Havenstone and arrange for one of those Mercedes Armored GL550s. Bring your license. I drive on the correct side of the road and I'm not keen on having a distraught paramour driving into a storefront at 80 kph.""Man, I like the way you speak," I joked."I took advantage of a proper English education.""I was joking with you.""I know.""Can I date your sister?" I didn't know if he had a sister, but he'd hinted there were multiple Tomorrow's out there. Anais' mood didn't improve."Yes. I like you. You are a good bloke.""Does your sister know how to kill people?""Yes. I'd say she's relatively proficient with a variety of small arms and hand-to-hand techniques," he enlightened me."Just checking.""Cáel, every woman you are interested knows how to kill people, or how to have people killed," Chaz reminded me."What about Odette? She's neither well connected nor lethal.""Odette is indeed an enigma. She counters that by being well liked by people who are capable of killing others who hurt her, except where you are concerned. You live a treasured life.""Have you made dinner reservations? If you need me for a black tie event it has to be, what is the American for it, swanky.""That's more of a Cael/Pamela thing," I corrected him. "American's say 'high class', expensive, or 'hot spot'.""Thanks for the update. Make those calls.""O-kay. Will do. I'll meet you at Havenstone in thirty minutes. Does that work for you?""Yes. Make those calls. I'll see you at, 7:52 pm, EDT. Mark.""Huh?""Goodbye Cáel," and he hung up."Who is this 'Chaz' character?" Anais questioned me."He is Color Sergeant Charles Tomorrow of the British Army's Special Reconnaissance Regiment, he's a badass and he's delicious," Odette answered for me."How do you know him, either of you?" came next."He was with," Odette began blabbing 'National Security' stuff."Odette, don't. Anais, he is member of the Joint International Khanate Interim Taskforce along with me. Odette helps out in an auxiliary role," I answered."Cáel, how did you end up doing this kind of work?" she was perplexed. "You were devoid of anything approaching civic responsibility when we were last together. Quite frankly, I didn't think you cared for anyone but yourself.""Hey now," Odette got feisty. She was my friend after all."We can talk about that over dinner?" I suggested. She didn't like that answer, so I lied. "I grew up," which was what she wanted to hear. I was spared any more interrogation at the moment by the necessity of making those three phone calls. Nikita liked hearing from me again, though she was less pleased that it was official business. She did agree to contact the appropriate agency for me, despite me making it for a different female law enforcement agent.I'd wised up about Havenstone. I called Executive services to have the car delivered to my door step. I cautioned the operative that, in my neighborhood, they might be stopped on suspicion of purchasing guns, drugs, and/or a good time. I would have the car in fifteen minutes and agreed to take the delivery driver back to work afterwards. I'd have done it even if I wasn't meeting Chaz.At Eleven Madison West, I got a snooty 'exactly who do you think you are?' followed by 'you will be placed on the waiting list, a spot may open up around 9:50'. Was I going to inform Chaz and Anais of this? Of course not. I planned to beg like a big dog, suggest that while I was a nameless face, I actually knew people, a person, and we'd see how far that got me.While waiting for the S U V to arrive and on the drive back to Havenstone, this is pretty much what followed:"Do you know who was behind your father's murder yet?""Yes, but I can't talk about it.""Was that the reason people are trying to kill you?""Yes. That and other reasons.""What other reasons?""Things I can't talk about.""Why can't you talk about it?""Secret society stuff ~ decoder rings, secret handshakes, writing in cyphers, holding clandestine meetings in public places after dark, and various other things world governments don't want me talking about.""Are you pulling my leg?" I wished I was running my hands over her legs. This wasn't the time for that revelation."No. Most of what I am telling you is the truth.""Were you in a shootout at the Chicago Medical Examiner's morgue?""Yes. I was unarmed at the time.""Was your life in danger?""It depends on what you mean by 'danger'. My allies had guns and were expert shots. I was shot at, but they missed me, so I not sure how much my life was at risk.""Can you please be serious?""I'm trying. You scare me.""You don't need to be afraid of me. I only want to help." That was mostly true. She was a diligent, hard-working incorruptible public servant,well, as long as you overlooked her charging me with bestiality when she was truly pissed with me."I'm not afraid of you hurting me. I'm afraid for you. You are an excellent peace officer and I'm worried that you will learn too much. Then your life will be as screwed up as mine.""I can take care of myself.""The reality that you are going out with me unarmed speaks volumes about what you don't know, Anais.""Don't think this line of questioning is over, Cáel.""Don't worry. I know you are not done.""Very well. How is your aunt?" The crab-fisherwoman, not the Irish menagerie."Happy as a clam, working a real job and living life on her own terms.""Where did you go wrong?" That was a loaded question. I had to tread carefully."A girl humiliated me in high school. I decided to take control of my life and somehow, despite my best intentions to be an unreliable lothario, I've ended up with people closer to me than family,and this constant need for physical protection.""Why are you engaged?" Finally, the real reason she was here. Had she come by to pick up her accoutrements, she would have been gone by the time I came home. She wanted answers, answers that allowed her to be in charge of our relationship again. It was the double-barreled impact of exceptional sex and wondering why she wasn't 'the one'.(Me) "Are you seeing somebody?""You didn't answer my question.""I've answered plenty of your questions. Answer mine.""No. Men expect too much from a career woman." Translation: 'I'm a bitch that, regardless of my dynamite looks and raunchy sex drive, repels men because I'm a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.'"You do put your career first." Translation: 'I've totally forgotten that you are a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.' It was what she wanted to hear."Your turn.""Put on your tin-foil hat. I did it to save lives in Central Asia when the anthrax strikes were going on. I have this friend over there that people listen to.""Who? The Great Khan?"I didn't respond which wasn't the answer she was expecting."How?" as in how could I possibly be good friends with the master of arguably the third or fourth most powerful nation on the face of the Earth"That's one of those things I can't talk about.""Do you love her?""I don't know. I'm lousy at relationships. I get along with her daughter. Her father wants to bury me alive in the Nevada desert. The rest of the family seems to be coming around to the idea that I might be one of them.""That isn't a 'yes'.""No, it isn't.""Do you think you can ever love someone?" If you need translated, sigh, okay, 'why don't you love me?'"Do you mean 'when am I going to stop stumbling from botched relationship to botched relationship and make something constructive of my personal life?'""Yes.""Did I mention that I've discovered I have a grandfather?""No. That isn't answering my question.""It is in a way. Did I mention that Mom had ten sisters I wasn't aware of? I had an uncle, but he died in my arms.""No. My condolences on your uncle. What does this have to do with you becoming more of an adult and becoming accountable for your life?""Did I mention I have an adopted grandmother who is my spiritual twin?""No.""Don't worry about my uncle. He died trying to kill me. My aunts murdered him, though I can never prove it.""Oh.""My grandfather? He was the one who sent those terrorists to kill me. It was his litmus test to see if I was worthy of being in his family. I passed.""Are you serious?""Yes. My spiritual grandma? She's a retired professional assassin. Daily I interact with a half-dozen people who have killed multiple human beings in their lifetimes. You want to know why I'm not behaving responsibly? I am acting responsibly. I'm trying to not get the decent civilians around me killed."She took awhile digesting that. By that time, we had returned to Havenstone and picked up Chaz. I made introductions."So, are you really with the SRR?" she asked him."Yes.""Why are you with Cáel?""My mandate contains multiple answers. Suffice it to say, since my RAF contemporary will not be returning from the UK until tomorrow, I am presently chief liaison officer for Her Majesty's government with JIKIT.""Why are you coming along as Cáel's bodyguard? Don't you have something better to do with your Friday evenings?" Subtle and polite, Anais ain't. Why was I putting up with her? She was a sexual tornado who would try anything once. She was a real prize."First question: Cáel is a friend, his life is in perpetual danger and I consider it my duty to keep him alive. He would do the same for me. Second question: the nature of my present assignment doesn't leave much room for any meaningful romantic associations.""Hmm," I contemplated what wasn't being said. "Chaz, you are nailing one of my security chicks, aren't you?""Yes.""Which one?""A man of character doesn't brag about such things."Chaz was getting some Amazon nookie. I had to find a way to tell him how dangerous that was. She might decide he's make good father material, not a good thing where Amazons were concerned."Are all of his security personnel women?" Anais pressed."Miss Saint-Amour, Havenstone is a corporation that employs over ten thousand people. There are precisely five men currently on their payroll. All their security personnel are woman. Cáel has very limited, if any, input on the matter.""Are you sure about that?""Yes, Miss Saint-Amour. Who would trust a man of Cáel's dubious experience with his own security?" Chaz pointed out."Oh." She hadn't thought of that."Can you tell me why you think his life is in danger?""He is far more likely to be kidnapped than murdered. He possess certain sensitive data that powerful entities would like to access, thus I am his bodyguard tonight. Considering the quality of the women who normally guard him, I consider it an honor.""To guard Cáel, on a date?""He was kidnapped visiting a child at a playground. Yes, we believe his life is in constant peril. The training and experience of his security service is top flight and it has been a pleasure to serve among them.""Were you with him in Budapest and Romania?""The metro station?""Yes.""Yes.""Romania?""Do you mean the counterterrorism action south of Miercurea Ciuc?""Yes.""Yes."Wow, these two were lousy communicators. I could imagine Chaz propositioning one of my Amazons.Chaz: 'You have a superior feminine physique which I find appealing. Want to fuck?'Amazon: 'You look like you have the prerequisite stamina and battle scars to be part of the New Directive. Sure.'"Were you involved in the actual combat? The SRR is normally an intelligence gathering unit.""I was gathering battlefield intelligence, Miss. That required my close proximity to armed and actively hostile enemy aliens (as in they were in Romania illegally, not that they were all supernatural beings). My involvement resulted in two KIA's and one WIA.""Damn Chaz, you rock.""I am a professional.""How many did Pamela gak?""One KIA.""Just one? Whoa, that's so unlike her.""She kept trying to bracket the cell leader (aka Ajax). He had the Devil's Own Luck.""Cáel, why are you making light of all those deaths?" Anais chastised me. "How many terrorists did you wound, or kill?""I wounded one guy.""That is disingenuous," Chaz chided me. "You orchestrated the operation, showed tactical expertise in seizing the most critical terrain feature and engineered the death of the terrorist leader.""My Cáel did that? When I knew him, he was adverse to violence," Anais shook her head."Considering the considerable number of people he's killed, he's still adverse to physical confrontation where his own life is involved. But God help you if you threaten someone he is close to, though. He's the man who can get things done when the team is in a pinch.""Cáel, what happened to you?" she didn't sound upset at all."I learned to care for people beyond my immediate interest, you know, actual long-term relationships," with the unspoken 'as opposed to women I'm currently having sex with'."It took you long enough," she snipped. Reference her being a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.The interrogation was put on hold while we entered the restaurant and,"Mr. Nyilas?" the maytre dee greeted me."Yes.""We will get you a table right away," he nodded obsequiously. What the hell was up with that? Where was my two hour wait time? Oh yeah, I was a minor, fifteen seconds of fame celebrity."Will Ms. Sulkanen be joining you this evening?""No. She had to oversee a packaged Erythrosine-monosaccharides explosion in Boca Raton. Flaming plastic pink flamingo bits were raining down everywhere. I imagine it is taking an Everest-sized load of hush money to keep this out of the media," I replied. I was so eerily sincere, he bought it and a look of horror snuck over his face. I had become the public face of corporate malfeasance."Your table (gulp) is ready, Sir," he began to sweat. He took us to our table for four then beat a hasty retreat. Undoubtedly his civic-mindedness would have him calling up TMZ within a minute. After all, it was unlikely he owned any plastic pink flamingos, or invested in their construction. Once he was gone, Chaz let a thin smile break through his hard-earned military unfazed-ability."What exactly are packaged Erythrosine-monosaccharides?" he inquired."Packaged is self-explanatory. Erythrosine is pink food coloring and monosaccharides are,""Sugar," Anais frowned."Exploding pixie sticks, I have nieces and nephews. You are a genius at misdirection, Mr. Nyilas," he nodded."Thank you, Color Sergeant Tomorrow. It is nice to be appreciated for my bizarre and useless preoccupation," I grinned."You practice lying?" Anais' view of me dimmed."Miss, he excels at extraneous, outrageous utterances. No harm is intended.""Things like I was helping her find her contact lenses?" That had been my excuse when caught coming out of Maya's apartment. Sadly, Anais is highly perceptive and knew the lady didn't wear contacts. The copious female aroma wafting off me certainly hadn't helped."That's unfair," I countered. "Back then, I was a college nitwit suffering from undiagnosed nymphomania. I'd like to think I'm getting better."" tes-vous mieux?" she retorted in French."Je suis assez intelligent pour aller vers vous lorsque des vies taient sur la ligne." That's right, Anais. When my life and the lives of others were on the line, she was the first one I thought to call. Letting a woman know that you admire her profession, professionalism and reliability never hurts."Are you really a nymphomaniac?" she returned to English. French is the language of sex, as is any derivative of Sanskrit, Farsi and Portuguese. Reference the multitude of Indians, the hotness of Persian women and the outpouring of lust that is Brazil."I had a magnetoencephalography recently. The neuroscientists didn't know what to make of my brain patterns. I appear to be somewhat unique in my madness."She didn't believe me. I didn't blame her. No one really likes hearing a truth they don't want to accept."Here," I leaned forward and pointed to the tiny divot in my forehead. "I was stabbed with a needle in the skull. That is why they looked at me, not because of my sexual malfunction."She touched it to makes sure. We were interrupted by the waiter stopping by to see if we were ready to order yet."We will have three of the most expensive appetizers, dinners, deserts and wines," Anais preempted us. Ugh. I was either a millionaire by the wonders of Havenstone accounting, or broke. I foolishly never looked into such things, never having had much money before. I needed a distraction."Hey Chaz, nice suit," was what came to mind. It was a swell masterpiece of the tailoring arts I hadn't expect from a ground-pounder from a family of ground-pounders serving Queen and Country for generations."Thank you. Pamela picked it out for me, suspecting an event such as this would transpire. She told me you paid for it," Chaz answered."I did?""I made the reasonable deduction that she forged your signature on whatever medium was used for payment," he shrugged, "in the same way she exhibits a criminal tendency toward every other aspect of her life.""What does Pamela look like?" Anais glowered."She's his grandmother," Chaz responded politely. "They make quite the pair. Normally we don't let them alone in the same room. Bad things happen.""Bad things?""Things like that scenic hostel being reduced to ruin," he enlightened her."This is the supposed assassin?""Retired assassin," Chaz corrected her. "So far she's only, what is the term you two use?" he looked at me."Sending a Get-Well card to their next of kin? Pumping up the volume? Making a critical attitude adjustment? Retroactively revoking their lease on life? We have a few.""Yes, those. Pamela has assured the team director that she no longer accepts assignments of a murderous nature. These days she only practices her skills on those we determine are a threat to the greater endeavor," he explained."She murders people? You all murder people?" Anais furrowed her brow. "Cáel, do you engage in these activities?""What? Who? Me? No!" I waved off any conspiratorial associations. "The vast majority of people I've killed was totally by accident.""How do you accidently kill people?" she pierced my soul with her voice."Okay, I let them kill themselves because warning them would have resulted in me and some friends meeting very immediate violent ends," I pleaded."Miss Saint-Amour, I've talked to trustworthy people who were on the scene when this happened. It was a paramilitary action with the lives of children on the line. Cáel acted to save the lives of innocents," Chaz defended me. That is what Anais wanted to believe; that I was basically a decent human being. I was a pig, but a courageous one. I had confronted her after my infidelity, on the other side of the US/Canadian border where her jurisdiction didn't apply.I knew my revelations were hideously hard to believe. In my favor, I had been in dangerous places doing dangerous things. The Metro firefight had been captured on the place's security system (which had been leaked to the public thus leading to some delusional admirers into thinking I would make a great new King of Hungary even though they hadn't had a monarch since 1918 nor was I from the right (Hapsburg) family. In case this whole Havenstone thing came crashing down in flames, I needed to keep my options open).There had been a bomb threat at Mindszent which I had reputable sources call in (and where I had admittedly hung out with a few of the women who saved me from an earlier disaster) and Miercurea Ciuc had made the international news. Well over 100 people had died and some of the terrorists were still at large. The Romanian government declared I had been 'instrumental' in the confrontation without saying what 'instrumental' meant.I was heroically vague, more mature than where we left off and clearly incited pussy-twitching memories. We'd once fucked so continuously hard and long one weekend that neither one of us could stand until an hour after we stopped. Anais was well worth the pain I was contemplating. Sex with her wasn't the pain I was worried about. It was dodging all her calls afterwards. Once again reference her being a compulsive control freak with abysmal trust issues.Oh, how did I know she was reveling in our past coital moments? She hadn't walked out on me yet. She hadn't walked out when she found Odette in my domicile, when she met Juanita, or when she found out that I worked with highly experienced killers as part of my new daily routine.Normally Anais was smarter than this and had a career in law enforcement to contemplate. Lastly, she hadn't asked to be armed, despite getting permission from the NYPD. Had she decided to get a gun, Anais was sure in her hormonally-cascading mindset she would have shot me by now. I incite all kinds of passion in women. It is a curse.The rest of dinner was unremarkable. Anais continued to interrogate Chaz who proved that he was both skilled in counter-interrogation techniques and not willing to spill anymore secrets about what anyone at JIKIT did. However he had provided her with every logical reason to beat feet back across the Canadian border and she hadn't taken the hints about what a disaster sleeping with me could be.We drove Anais back to her motel, then Chaz and I headed home in silence. Despite his earlier declarations, he knew how to drive the 'right' way all along. As he was letting me out in front of my building, he gave me this pleasant warning."I'm not going to lecture you about not going back there, or avoiding the crazy ones. You already know better and are going back by her place anyway. I do advise that whatever you do, don't let her restrict your movements in any way. She's likely to make you pay double for your past indiscretions and take payment out on your cock. Good luck, Mate.""Wait," I stopped him. "Can you help me hotwire her bike? I can use that as an excuse to darken her doorway.""Dolt," he muttered. He helped me anyway because that's what really good friends do ~ assisting you in your self-destruction so we could joke about it later. At least that was what I hoped was going on. Chaz being a closet sadist was an unsettling idea. I didn't get to immediately pursue my plan because,(We work for you, don't we?)At 9 am, the President of the United States of America, after a late night briefing and a good night's sleep, decided that for the sake of world peace he had to intervene in Southeast Asia ~ Thailand to be specific, though he had some vague notion that a summit of regional leaders was in the offing and the US needed to establish some sort of game plan instead of looking impotent and disinterested.Based on carefully selected bits of information supplied to him by us (JIKIT), he ordered two carrier taskforces to move to the Gulf of Thailand to enforce an anticipated UN arms embargo and 'No-Fly Zone'. It would take four days (September 3rd) for Carrier Strike Group Nine (built around the USS Ronald Reagan) and the 11th Marine Expeditionary Unit (2,200 souls) to take up a position in the South China Sea close to the Gulf of Thailand. By fortuitous circumstance, 500 Marines and sailors were already deployed to Malaysia on a joint training mission with the Malaysian Marines.The second one, the USS Carl Vinson's Carrier Strike Group One wouldn't arrive until the 9th, six days later. What the US government wanted to know was what the Khanate and Vietnam would do in those long, lonely six days. The Khanate had as many modern, up-to-date combat aircraft on Woody Island as the Reagan could send up. The Vietnamese could add another 48 planes worth worrying about.There was the added complication that Thailand hadn't asked for help yet. His experts (us again) were suggesting that he was about to wake up one morning and find Khanate tanks rolling down the streets of Bangkok, which
Join us for bonus stuff every week at patreon.com/timbutterly UPCOMING SHOWS CANADA Kitchener, Ontario | Lanc Loft | April 3rd Delhi, Ontario | Capitol 33 | April 4th Shelburne, Ontario | Grace Typing Hall | April 5th Toronto, Ontario | Comedy Bar Bloor | April 6th AMERICA South Bend, Indiana | April 11-12 TICKETS AT https://timbutterly.com Catch new eps of Metal Girl Solid live - https://www.twitch.tv/timbutterly MORE NOAH - https://www.youtube.com/@UCeFA2S8V2aeGlrT6sBLWraA AND https://www.patreon.com/TwoHeadedDogComedy
We dare you to listen to this all the way through! Grab some Pepto and a barf bag, because these jokes are really lame and vomit inducing. You have been warned.Sorry not sorry.(c)2025 Scatterbrain Productions.Always.
Empezamos 2025 con programa (sí, aunque no lo crean) Hoy hablamos sobre la serie de Harry Potter y los rumores sobre su reparto "diverso", además conversamos sobre The Last of Us, Leagues of Legends, lo que se viene en cine y televisión para este año como la última temporada de Stranger Things y mucho más. Acompáñanos en estas conversaciones freaks junto a Moisés, Julio y Erika en Guarida N, el podcast de Canal Freak. 💬 Sigue a Canal Freak en Instagram, Facebook y Twitter o X. 💬 Sigue a Guarida N en Instagram. 💿 Intro por Pepto - Tema: Staring Into The Void
In this episode, Jose Bennett shares his remarkable journey from rapper to renowned branding expert and digital course creator. Jose explains to us how his diverse experiences in music, retail, and entrepreneurship shaped his understanding of emotional branding and audience connection. He also reveals the secrets behind creating a lasting impression, using examples like Coca-Cola and Pepto to illustrate the importance of evoking emotional responses. He then offers practical advice on managing brand identity across platforms, and having a strategic approach to brand development — correlating it to constructing a house with a solid foundation. Join us in this conversation as Jose emphasizes the role of consistency and vulnerability in building trust with your audience. Tune in! KEY POINTS - Branding in various scenarios – concerts or everyday life - Jose's journey as a rapper to being a branding expert - The importance of online presence and understanding your target audience - The role of emotional response in branding - On having consistency in branding and the need for reliability - Challenges of maintaining a consistent brand image - On leveraging emotional responses to build a strong brand - Have long-term relationships by showing up, being consistent and having authenticity QUOTES "We are multi-faceted individuals, right? The thing about it, though, we can do multiple things, but truly we can only be known for one." – Jose Bennett “I want to set the world up for my grandkids in a better place, and that's by planting seeds, seeds of positivity. There's an old adage that says — if the oceans were still one drop [would] cause tidal waves at the shore, I'm every person I come in contact with. I'm drop, doing drops, drops, plant seeds, like everything." – Jose Bennett "If our brands are automatically going to compartmentalize us, all we're doing is okay. You have multiple pieces — how do you still ensure that you are telling that correct narrative and story." – Jose Bennett GUEST RESOURCES Jose Bennett Website | featuringthebrand.com IG | @featuring_jose RESOURCES Jasmene Bowdry IG | @jasmenebowdry AND This is produced by EPYC Media Network
Hablamos sobre las parodias del cine y la televisión, esas películas y series que, seguramente, en nuestros días no pasarían la prueba de la funa ni de la corrección, esas que nos dejaban ver cuando chicos. Únete a esta conversación junto a Julio, Erika y Moisés y adéntrate en la infancia de muchos. 💬 Sigue a Canal Freak en Instagram, Facebook y Twitter o X. 💬 Sigue a Guarida N en Instagram. 💿 Intro por Pepto - Tema: Staring Into The Void
¡Al fin regresamos para el fin de año! Miles de cosas nos detuvieron para poder hacer el programa, pero aquí estamos de regreso para cerrar el 2024 con lo mejor, lo peor y lo que se viene en el cine de superhéroes para el 2025. ¡Únete a la conversación junto a Moisés, Erika y Julio! y cantemos un año más que se va... 💬 Sigue a Canal Freak en Instagram, Facebook y Twitter o X. 💬 Sigue a Guarida N en Instagram. 💿 Intro por Pepto - Tema: Staring Into The Void
What's the haps on the apps? Cheese sticks, Nachos, Sliders, Wings....oh my! Join Billy, Brad, Brett, George, and Ted as they order their Top 5 Appetizers. Pass the Pepto, this ones gonna get messy!
Not all lyrics are created equally. In fact, some really stink. But what individual lines from songs are the absolute worst? What lines make your stomach churn or give you heartburn? That is exactly the question that the siblings tackle on this episode of The Music List. So buckle in, grab your Pepto, and see if you agree with the definitive list of worst one-line lyrics of all time!
Nos demoramos, pero aquí estamos de vuelta con esta conversación sobre todo lo que se viene para los Superhéroes en cine y televisión tanto para DC con el nuevo universo de James Gunn como para Marvel con el estreno de Deadpool & Wolverine, ¿crees que los superhéroes están en un bajón?, ¿qué haríamos para cambiar esa percepción? Únete a la conversación junto a Moisés, Julio y Erika. 💬 Sigue a Canal Freak en Instagram, Facebook y Twitter o X. 💬 Sigue a Guarida N en Instagram. 💿 Intro por Pepto - Tema: Staring Into The Void
Nos demoramos un poco, pero llegó Julio y llegó podcast, Hablamos sobre la unificación de la unificación de Disney Plus y Star Plus y lo que nos traen los streamings, lo que se viene con Deadpool y Wolverine, los récords de Intensamente 2 en los cine chilenos y el menú de series que tenemos. ¿Sientes que hay actores que los ves en todo? Conversamos sobre esos actores que hoy por hoy llenan nuestra pantalla y si eso podría quemarlos. Únete a esta conversación freak junto a Julio, Erika y Moisés. 💬 Sigue a Canal Freak en Instagram, Facebook y Twitter o X. 💬 Sigue a Guarida N en Instagram. 💿 Intro por Pepto - Tema: Staring Into The Void
Llegó el momento de hablar sobre viajes, viajes ñoños y no ñoños, de todo lo que pasó con los viajes de Pacho Saavedra, Jorge Zabaleta y la partida de Claudio Iturra. Únete a la conversación y viaja junto a Moisés, Erika y Julio. 💬 Sigue a Canal Freak en Instagram, Facebook y Twitter o X. 💬 Sigue a Guarida N en Instagram. 💿 Intro por Pepto - Tema: Staring Into The Void
The Two Crew fight yet another familiar foe... back-to-back familiar foes? What is going on?!Music: "Northbound Along the 25th" by Robbie Whiplash All other music by Tabletop Audio Thanks for listening! You can find us on Twitter @25northpodcastYou can join our Discord community with this invite code "nBTZzTGZdA"You can send us an email at 25northpodcast@gmail.com if you wish
What an episode! Lots of laughs and maybe the wildest week of news in a long time! Just wait for it! Top 5 Movie Sequels gets crazy too! Enjoy! WE HAVE MERCH!! Follow Us: TikTok: @atgnwgpodcast IG: @atgnwgpodcast www.atgnwg.com Colby: Emptyhanded by Bilmuri Fost: 1990Something by Sub-Radio Matty: The Alchemy by Taylor Swift
The season is officially underway, and Chad and Eric review the first five games of the Giants' 2024 season. Despite the 2-3 start, there are a lot of positives to take away with the hitting of Lee, Conforto, Chapman, and Wade, and the starts by Webb, Harrison, Hicks, and Winn. However, the bullpen has been the worst in the majors to start the young season, having given up 20 earned runs in just 18 innings. Although there will be a correction to the mean, if the pen doesn't smooth things out quickly, it could lead to some Pepto nights for Giants fans. www.torturecast.comfacebook.com/torturecast@torturecast
Mimosa Mornings is what happens when we have a hard time finding time to record. Who would have thought that things can get out of hand in the mornings as well. Sherbet goes amazing with Sparkling Wine, Captain Oblivious, Shenanigans and Char's Shitty Wine makes a return....Will she redeem herself or are we destined for a bottle of Pepto and an afternoon on the shitter again? #relaxitsthewinetalkin #itswinetime #wine #winetasting #winetok #wineenthusiast #podcast #winelover #wineporn #finewine #winewithfriends #vino #uncensored #funny #vivino #proseccobrilla #mooncurservinyards #moonlit #bluenunwines #freixenet #mimosa #mimosamornings #righteousgelato #sorbetto #shenanigans #charsshittywine
Is to not understand it, at all. There will be parts of your journey... that will be new. Parts, that you have yet to experience, till now. Facing each new day, with complete uncertainty. The evolution... that comes with progression. The reality, that this is really it, when you lost control. To Understand Cancer. Is to not understand it, at all. Day 3... Severe opposite, of what my intestines usually do. The pain, signs were there ahead of this new part of progression. Trying to keep things down is a feat. Keeping up on meds, then adding new medications, is ridiculously, almost impossible. Remember to get outside for fresh air! Even if that means a few moments. You are never going to know ALL the possibilities, that come with your specific cancer. You will only know, once you experience them. Understanding, from oncology point of view... don't try to analyze it. Just do your best to get through the day. Far away, from the hospital emergency department. New additions for ovarian cancer patients, at home musts to keep, just in case! Imodium A-D, Pepto and Pedialyte Advanced Max. I'm not promising, it will keep you out of the hospital. But it will bide you some time. Who controls the decision, hospice? Your oncologists. Rest in peace to Mr. Keith. No more struggling. When you remove titles... we are all in this together. This unpredictable journey... The unknown. The not knowing. *** Free Yourself...My Journey freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
Est-ce que tu as tendance à te tourner vers les pilules quand tu ne vas pas bien? Tu as mal à la tête, tu prends une Tylenol. Tu as mal au cœur, tu te tournes vers Gravol ou Pepto-bismol. Une petite toux? C'est le temps de sortir le sirop! C'est familier? Et si je te disais que les huiles essentielles peuvent t'aider avec beaucoup de ces problèmes? Dans l'épisode d'aujourd'hui, je partage avec toi mes 7 huiles essentielles préférées et comment je les utilise. Pour te donner un coup de pouce dans ton aventure de perte de poids, je t'offre une mini formation gratuite : Comment perdre 5 lb en 7 jours sans régime strict et sans suppléments. Elle contient tout ce dont tu as besoin pour te lancer, incluant un menu et les recettes! Il te suffit de la télécharger!
We're on The Bear Season 2 homestretch now covering two fantastic episodes, "Forks" and "Bolognese". Hold up... DO WE LIKE RICHIE NOW?! Cousin gets the spotlight spending time learning service at a very high restaurant. There's a cameo from Queen Elizabeth! Taylor Swift tix! And a very fancy deep dish pizza. Meanwhile, Syd and Carmy are swigging Pepto as they await the results of a very very very important gas line test. Plus, Fak hides out in the walk-in fridge.Links:Never Have I Everhttps://www.netflix.com/title/80179190Criminal: "The Perfectionists"https://thisiscriminal.com/episode-230-the-perfectionists-8-4-2023/Search Engine: "Wait, should I not be drinking airplane coffee?"https://pjvogt.substack.com/p/wait-should-i-not-be-drinking-airlineHosts: Lisa Carroll Tremblay and Ken Cornwell Producer: Cole T.Check out our merch! TV is Awesome at Spreadshop: tv-is-awesome.myspreadshop.com
Ahoy, Story Babies! Today we're talking about big ol' babies and singing sea shanties! It's an accidental theme episode! Enjoy!Janey's Sources - KnösViking Folk & Fairy Tales: Ancient Wisdom, Fables & Folkore (edited by JK Jackson) Full story for free Relaxing audio recording of the story (Youtube) Viking hygiene Max's Sources - Old Stormalong"World Folklore for Storytellers: Tales of Wonder, Wisdom, Fools, and Heroes" by Josepha Sherman "The Legend of Old Stormalong" by Salem Ghosts Free text of "Old Stormalong" from "Spooky Massachusetts" by S.E. Schlosser History and lyrics for shanty "Stormalong" History and lyrics for "General Taylor / Carry Him To His Burying Ground" The Longest Johns song "General Taylor" Support the showCheck out our books (and support local bookstores!) on our Bookshop.org affiliate account!Starting your own podcast with your very cool best friend? Try hosting on Buzzsprout (and get a $20 Amazon gift card!)Want more??Visit our website!Join our Patreon!Shop the merch at TeePublic!If you liked these stories, let us know on our various socials!InstagramTiktokGoodreadsAnd email us at sortofthestory@gmail.com
Treble Trouble & Holiday Pile & Turkey Mail - Pepto Poo & Wendy's Frosty'sSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This Urbana born and Tolono grown retired University of Illinois employee has heated up the chili competition circuit for 45 years! From Vegas, Missouri, Palm Springs and Myrtle Beach and back, Mark has thousands of dollars invested and countless wins, including nine state titles, under his belt. Listen as Mark expertly explains the fascinating world of chili competitions. From participant to competition organizer, Mark leans on one rule of thumb: "If you were stranded on a desert island, what would be the chili you would want to eat for the rest of your life?" Mark's recipe originated from an old newspaper column, “Mostly for Men.” From its inception, Mark has tweaked the recipe now using beer and mostly all his homegrown ingredients. Beans? Much to Mark's chagrin, there are no beans allowed in traditional red chili and can lead to disqualification. Mark also talks about cheating among chili cooks and competing against your wife! Just in time for cool weather, give Mark's award winning chili a try this fall and winter. **The recipe will follow on social media.**Strong Men Strong MarriagesFor men who want more sexual, emotional and spiritual intimacy with their wifeListen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifyThank you so much for listening! However your podcast host of choice allows, please positively: rate, review, comment and give all the stars! Don't forget to follow, subscribe, share and ring that notification bell so you know when the next episode drops! Also, search and follow hyperlocalscu on all social media. If I forgot anything or you need me, visit my website at HyperLocalsCU.com. Byee.
This week the ball boys take Manhattan, well Queens anyway, as we head to the US Open for the first day of the final slam of the season. Come along and bring some Pepto; you're gonna need it. In just the first few days we're covering the spicy matches, a mystery virus, and some outfits that quite frankly deserve a code violation.
Steve Gruber discusses news and headlines.
On this brand new edition of Cubs On Tap, Juice and Joey hop on the mic to discuss a Cubs winner at Wrigley Field. The guys dive into the game and plenty of analysis surrounding the trade deadline. The guys shut down the show by previewing the rest of the weekend. Cubs On Tap is presented by OnTapSportsNet.com, your go-to source for Cubs news, analysis, and updates. Follow us on social media: @CubbiesOnTap | @OnTapSportsNet Panelists: @JoeyKnowsNothin | @TeddyFreddy270 | @JuiceOnTap | @LuceOnTap | @Nick_OnTap
In this episode, Abbas and Jordan, kick things off with a discussion about Pepto bismol, the jingle, exploring its effectiveness, quirks, and personal experiences with the famous pink liquid. After, the two debate of whether it's easier to be an actor than a comedian, sharing their insights and experiences from the world of entertainment. Join them as they explore the challenges, rewards, and unique aspects of both professions. Connect with us: Abbas https://linktr.ee/abbaswahab Jordan https://www.instagram.com/jordanpolicicchio/ Dante https://www.instagram.com/person1prod/
On this episode of THE GHOST WRITERS PODCAST, Mary, Somer and Matt get their hands and eyes dirty while watching a movie Matt picked to try and dethrown THINGS. Join us as things get poopy when we review: MONSTURD!
This week Jer introduces a new segment - DID YA KNOW?! Did you know Pepto Bismol makes your poop and tongue black? If you've experienced this, don't freak out - it's just because of the “bismuth” in Pepto. Just remember, Pepto Bismol may give you a dark side, but it also gives you fast and effective relief from your tummy troubles. Stay cool and let your stomach chill with Pepto Bismol! (This is not an ad). Some smart people created a bandage that's not just any bandage, but one that uses electrotherapy to heal wounds like a superhero on steroids. A Brantford woman is all sorts of F'ed up and will hopefully be serving some much-needed time behind bars for committing some of the most messed up stuff we've ever heard on the podcast. Also, why do men avoid the doctor? The fellas are sure it's due to lots of reasons but hopefully, that will change! Finally, Jer shares how the dogs in Chernobyl are the goodest boys out there! Join the post-episode conversation over on Discord! https://discord.gg/expeUDN
This week Jer introduces a new segment - DID YA KNOW?! Did you know Pepto Bismol makes your poop and tongue black? If you've experienced this, don't freak out - it's just because of the “bismuth” in Pepto. Just remember, Pepto Bismol may give you a dark side, but it also gives you fast and effective relief from your tummy troubles. Stay cool and let your stomach chill with Pepto Bismol! (This is not an ad). Some smart people created a bandage that's not just any bandage, but one that uses electrotherapy to heal wounds like a superhero on steroids. A Brantford woman is all sorts of F'ed up and will hopefully be serving some much-needed time behind bars for committing some of the most messed up stuff we've ever heard on the podcast. Also, why do men avoid the doctor? The fellas are sure it's due to lots of reasons but hopefully, that will change! Finally, Jer shares how the dogs in Chernobyl are the goodest boys out there! Join the post-episode conversation over on Discord! https://discord.gg/expeUDN
Find out what about this episode Kevin and Jenna described as “cringe” and left Kevin feeling queasy. But despite those feelings there were admittedly some heartfelt moments to fill the void. And, some tea is spilled as to why Kevin was pulled from performing a certain song!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tuesday morning at 9:58 AM, is this the 100th or 300th time you've checked your eBlast with your heart pounding and hands sweating before you hit Send? Every single time a marketer sends an eBlast, a little panic attacks ensue! At least 50 times we read the content and still need a Xanax to survive! I have been there. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, if that eBlast doesn't go out right at 10:00, the world is not going to end. WHAT?! Blasphemy, Brooke!You all know I have a bit of love…or addiction to shoes and Jordans. Nov 19 marks the release of the highly anticipated Air Jordan 1 High “Lost and Found.” Here's how Sneakerheads can purchase shoes (or slam their heads against the wall and cry themselves to sleep). There is the Nike App and the SNKRS APP. One of these is not like the other. The Nike App usually ends with a very happy customer. The SNKRS App is a completely different story. EVERYONE takes a L. It is near impossible to ever hit on SNKRS. How has a business built a product that almost guarantees dissatisfaction and how has a consumer continues to put up with this? Why are we a glutton for punishment? While we are stressing about the eBlast going out right at 10:00 AM and having everything exactly right, yet all of us SNKRS App users keep going back to Nike after being burned time and time and again and; saying “Yes, Sir! May I have another!”Now Nike knows their process is flawed. The Nike Executive's kids are hitting on 98% of all kicks, while the rest are getting Ls. Let's circle back to these highly coveted Air Jordan 1 High Lost and Found. Nike announced that they will grant “exclusive access” to people that have entered and lost at least 20 Air Jordan High releases. Now before I unpack that statement, what does “exclusive access” mean? Does that mean you are finally going to hit on them? NO! It in no way means the shoe or your size is guaranteed! Last year they also implemented this “exclusive access” and it was based on 50 variables.Nike built an “exclusive access” program for their shoes because they know that most people don't really hit on them while we're throwing down Tums and Pepto stressing about the eBlast. I love what I do and all things digital marketing. Please remember that it is not brain surgery and we are not saving the world. If the email goes out at 10:15 or not even on a Tuesday, it is going to be ok.Let BZ Consultants Inspect What Should Be Expected
After missing Monday's show, Jake and Josh are officially back to discuss Miami's loss to the Vikings and the latest news ahead of Sunday's battle against the Steelers. Being Wednesday, Marek Brave returns to the show to talk about Jaylen Waddle's struggles, Mike Gesicki's two touchdown game, and some flashes from Noah Igbinoghene. The guys end the show with an injury update on Tua Tagovailoa, Terron Armstead, Byron Jones, and Nik Needham. #FinsUp Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Purdue's first road test comes against a surprisingly strong Syracuse. And we might have mentioned Scott Frost and Nebraska once or twice.
On this brand new edition of Cubs On Tap, Juice and Luce recap the Cubs' 4-3 loss to the Reds. The guys vented their frustrations with the situational decision making of the team, the desire for the young guys to play, some fantastic debate with the listeners, Seiya Suzuki praise, and so much more! The guys wrapped up the show previewing Friday's series opener against the San Francisco Giants. -- Cubs On Tap is presented by OnTapSportsNet.com -- Follow us on Twitter and Instagram! @CubbiesOnTap Panelists: @JuiceOnTap | @LuceOnTap
The boys are back from the dead. Let's get up to speed on a few things. Sturgis, covid, winter sports, and more...
After following new clues to a new location, the gang is faced with something even more unbeLEAFable than three cherubs in a trenchcoat. Buddy loses his lucidity, Thomasin dips into new powers and Jimmy could use some Pepto.
@Blatant_Chief runs through the field of the Mexico Open. Have the Pepto handy!
Tristan rolls into the booth at a classy 3am, and stumbles through a short episode of the podcast.
Our thoughts, rage, and sorrow are with everyone affected by yesterday's shooting in Brooklyn. Please consider donating to South Brooklyn Mutual Aid if you are able to. *See end of description for Content Warnings Welcome back to The Fright of Your Life! Sweets to the Sweet. Join us this week as we discuss a staple in the horror genre, CANDYMAN and as we try to narrow down the plethora of scary moments to what the Bravo TV network chose as the 75th scariest movie moment of all time. We also talk about shit for a lot longer than you'd think. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @FrightYourLife Individual Twitter accts: @RileyCassidy1 @TaraEllwood *CW: child mutilation, animal death, description of hate crimes, gaslighting
An anxious shut-in moves into a haunted studio, and invites an old friend to perform an online exorcism which quickly takes a ridiculous turn. On Episode 506 of Trick or Treat Radio we are joined by Mina Rose to discuss the Shudder exclusive film Night's End from director Jennifer Reeder! We also attempt to explain what ASMR is, we talk about the exploitation of victims, and as usual we manage to go to some pretty weird places. So grab your bottle of Pepto, reboot your router for your online exorcism, and strap on for the world's most dangerous podcast!Stuff we talk about: Mina Rose, ASMR, is that a pack of Winston's or something else?, Star Wars, Jizz Music, Casablanca, Coin Flip Sinema, Moon Knight, Moonknighting Podcast, The Batman, Legends of Tomorrow, Booster Gold, Donald Faison, Studio 666, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lobo, Simon Bisley, Glenn Fabry, Preacher, Hellblazer, Danzig, Metal Frazetta, Neil Hamburger, Nickelback, Michael Shannon, Man of Steel, Boardwalk Empire, Kate Arrington, Host, Zoom Seances, Night's End, Shudder, Geno Walker, Jennifer Reeder, coffee and Pepto Bismol, Adam Driver, Benedict Cummabunch, “it's never just a sixer”, being exploited, strapped to an inversion table, The Watcher or The Doer, Ares: God of Backpedaling, Ben Affleck's flack, Patreon Takeover, Witching and Bitching, Rocky, Alex de la Iglesias, the crucifiction, The Last Kingdom, Seven Kings Must Die, Better Call Saul, Alexander Dreymon, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, getting an aggressive NKHJ, Thor: Love and Thunder, Guardians of the Galaxy, Cody Rhodes, WWE, AEW, Heavy Metal, Dredd, Talk Without Chief Wiggum, and Hamburger Helpless.Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/trickortreatradioJoin our Discord Community: discord.trickortreatradio.comSend Email/Voicemail: mailto:podcast@trickortreatradio.comVisit our website: http://trickortreatradio.comStart your own podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=386Use our Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2CTdZzKFB Group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/trickortreatradioTwitter: http://twitter.com/TrickTreatRadioFacebook: http://facebook.com/TrickOrTreatRadioYouTube: http://youtube.com/TrickOrTreatRadioInstagram: http://instagram.com/TrickorTreatRadioSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/trickortreatradio)
Exhibit A Brewing is not owned by lawyers. Shocking, right? But they are a brewery out of Massachusetts that knows how to make very good beer and can art. So we asked Matthew Steinberg and Kelsey Roth of Exhibit A Brewing to join us to talk about their awesome beer (including We're Going to Need You to Come in on Saturday Scotch Ale (IYKYK) and Goody Two Shoes Kolsch that is one of the top rated Kolsches (Koschi?) in the country). We hope you enjoy this great episode that covers such topics as how to find good grains for your beer, how many birds Stu could kill before they took him out (hypothetically), and where great ideas for new beer come from.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/beerfreaks)
This week the ladies discuss the first thing that they notice when they meet a guy, being easy on yourself and Tori tells us a story of her blowing up spots. Thanks for listening! Also, if you're curious about this episodes name, head over to YouTube to see why. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ratchetandreligious/message
This episode starts out with the biggest overshare in the history of the show. It involves waking up at 5:30, Dollar General and Pepto Bismol! The majority of the show is spent running through the Worst Halloween Candy Throwdown Tournament! Listen to hear all about the upsets, Cinderellas and Kyle's newfound love for Necco Wafers! To close out the tournament, we run through all the brackets that were submitted and give everyone an award (because Kyle's a good Millennial)! And of course, we crown a new (Not A) Christian Podcast Legend. To close out the show, Kyle recounts some recent Facebook Marketplace misadventures that relate to his recommendation of the week.
In the early 1960s, Margie was turned away by a rowing coach in Boston because she was a woman. After a full career in journalism, and raising three kids, she learned to row at 60. Today – at 78 - she's stronger than she's ever been. Together with her husband Mickey, they proudly carry the torch for I, J, and K category rowers as members of Upper Valley Rowing Club and Chinook Performance Racing. We talk with this Baby Boomer former news woman and self-described tomboy about Title IX, putting herself first, how a Diabetes diagnosis set her on a wellness path, coxing octogenarians, training and racing with Chinook, and a whole lot more. TIME STAMPS 00:00 - Introduction 02:00 - From BU rowing rejection to HOCR in 40 yrs 05:50 - After raising kids, making time for Margie 07:28 - Rowing a 2x with Mickey, and buying Pepto (her 1x) 09:24 - Becoming a well-rounded athlete long after Title IX 14:30 - Being a women of the Baby Boom generation 16:35 - There at the beginning of Chinook Racing Performance 20:35 - What happened when she coxed a J M4+ at Masters Nationals 26:55 - From local tv/radio broadcasting to a 24/7 connected world 33:38 - UVRC's CReW cancer recovery program 36:58 - Coxing a levitating W8+ at HOCR 42:35 - Rapid Fire Q&A Get early access to new episodes of Steady State Podcast. Join us on Patreon.
Kyle and Brian talk about stuff. This is the 33rd episode, you get it by now. We talk biggest sports trades. Does anyone even read this? For the sake of promotion, Cleveland, Tribe, Cavs, Browns, Football, Baseball, Basketball, Sammy Sosa. Sex Like Rate and Review on iTunes! Follow us @tencentbeerlife on all social media. Email the show at tencentbeerlife@gmail.com Sponsored By: Jenkins Insurance in Tallmadge Ohio Music: Switchblade by Bundy and the Spins --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/tencentbeerlife/message
We're talking Shahs, Pepto, Ration, Groceries, Holi, M2M! Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/therealityispod/message
We all got em and typically they get in the way of our fun. Commence adulthood. It's when moments like using a shot glass to take your Pepto and squealing like a kid on Christmas when you spot Lysol wipes really makes you question, "when did I get so....old"? Getting old doesn't have to suck though, Stick with the self-care, treat-yo-self, and pour up your finest glass of Pinot babe - you got this!
We celebrate our 21st with some Pepto-Bismol and a regular season sweep of Duquesne! SBUnfurled and Lil Bona X break down last weekend's victory over the Dukes, which was a little closer than the first game (2:51). The guys then talk about how the bench can contribute when the starting five dominates the minutes played (15:24). Lil Bona X then tells you about the first Schmidty Awards (21:22)! The guys then get you ready for a hastily scheduled George Mason game on Saturday (27:23). Then, we talk about how the A10 tournament is moving to Richmond, despite our sales pitch to have it at Bonaventure (37:33). We cap off the pod with your Final Fourcast on a cold winter across the conference (44:23)!