Ever wonder what’s really going on in other people’s heads? The Enneagram knows. In these intimate conversations with people of different Enneagram types, we go past the facade of image management and self-presentation to the real stuff on the inside.
Moses Williams (SO/SP 5w6 513) returns for a third and unexpected installment. After the emotional closing of our last conversation, the relationship he spoke about fell apart, and Moses recorded this solo reflection as a final statement. It's part post-mortem, part self-reckoning, and it is beautifully 5: heady, searching, at times heartbreakingly tender. He names where things broke down, what it showed him about his patterns, and how he's choosing to move forward. What begins as a Five's attempt to diagnose and understand becomes something more vulnerable: a young person figuring out how to keep their heart open after loss. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://youtube.com/@houseofenneagram CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram5
Moses Williams (SO/SP 5w6 513) is back for round two, and we dive straight into what he calls “the mortifying stuff.” We explore the dissonance of being autistic and socially wired — craving connection but feeling like a fish trying to fly. Moses speaks candidly about navigating sexual arousal alongside the fear of being seen as creepy or delusional, and what it's like to experience intense desire as someone who's sexual blind. He names his instinct to hide, control, and strategize, and what happens when that scaffolding starts to crack. We talk about being a triple competency type (513), the impulse to do everything alone, and the sharp suspicion that other people just get in the way. But then something unexpected happens: Moses softens. What starts as a conversation about childhood patterns and self-analysis ends in a rare emotional opening, as Moses entertains the dangerous hope that someone might actually want to stay. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagramTIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 11:33 - Differentiating type 5 and autism 22:09 - Social needs and a fascination with psychology 24:44 - Moses shares personal stories relating to early forms of type structure 32:33 - Giving sexual preferences space as opposed to suppressing 42:00 - Taking responsibility for the self 47:03 - Type 5 expanding on the obsession with animals 54:54 - Social hexad displaying ‘shocking' parts up front 59:20 - Triple competency's reliance on self and mistrust in others 1:07:49 - The spirit of collaboration as a competency type 1:15:03 - Releasing hope hiding underneath strategy 1:31:24 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram5
Moses Williams is an 18-year-old Social/Self-Pres 5w6 who is also on the autism spectrum. Moses describes growing up feeling that adults were hiding the truth, that essential information was missing, and that everyone else somehow knew how to be human in a way he didn't. We talk about his often obsessive fascination with taboo topics—pornography, sexual deviance, violence—not to provoke, but to answer the horrifying question: “Am I stupid for not knowing this already?” He recounts a personal collapse that left him with three options: become a sanitized version of himself, disappear entirely, or dismantle and reform collective assumptions entirely. This conversation also explores intellectual separatism, the pressure to adapt to norms that feel senseless, and the slow, reluctant emergence of a heart that wants something real. This episode contains references to pornography, sexual deviance, and suicide. Listener discretion advised. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/ @houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 02:56 - Introduction to enneagram, being a loner, interested in psychology to understand people 06:20 - Animals animals animals and being intrigued by fear 09:37 - Family background, being introduced to the internet, questioning traditional beliefs 13:17 - Stigmas around sex and sexuality, parsing through frameworks of deviancy 15:52 - Reading provocative books, fascination through frustration and not being naive, needing obsessions 22:56 - ‘Worst moment of life', social incompetence 28:08 - Difficulty adapting, doing it ‘my way' and making it work, “the way I do teamwork is by not working with people” 31:54 - Trying to figure out place in the world, ‘becoming sanitized', stripping out people's assumptions 35:35 - Power dynamics, finding compatibility 42:09 - Conceptualizing an ideal world, determinism, looking for something real 45:47 - Social relationships allow ‘getting to the heart', loneliness and regret 50:23 - Being more competent at relationships, fear of feelings influencing self-image 58:51 - Realizing when type 5 isn't actually talking about themselves, speaking about people in an abstraction 1:05:40 - Differing energies with self and others, divine resonating frequencies, obsessions 1:09:04 - Coming out story, viewing family as a collection of people forced to live together, “this is who I am, deal with it” 1:17:22 - Transformation of current social dynamics, ‘shutting up', finding the people who ‘tolerate me' 1:23:22 - Differences between being on the autism spectrum and being a type 5 1:30:57 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtype #enneagram5
Julie (SP/SO 1w2 126) says being an Enneagram One is like trying to control the lightning bolt you're riding. We talk about how her pursuit of competence — in painting, music, and even dog training — brought early success but gradually drained the joy from each pursuit. She shares what it's like to live in a body wired for precision and pressure, and how that rigidity eventually led to serious health issues after she threw herself into an activist cause. We explore how she navigates moral complexity not through rules, but through a somatic “yes,” and how her 2-fix allows her to “see people's souls.” Throughout the conversation, she highlights something rarely said about Ones: their sharp, absurd sense of humor that helps her stay connected to lightness and levity. LINKSLearn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 03:04 - Julie's journey as an artist 17:51 - Creativity and excellence as a Type 1 22:43 - 1's rigidity in music 28:52 - Being a frustration type in the body center 31:44 - 1w2 “rightness of action” 34:18 - Type 2/2fix “tracking emotional data points” 44:08 - Casting judgment or seeing soul? 49:27 - Julie's relationship to criticality 57:26 - Advocacy at the expense of personal health 1:00:47 - “Primordial Perfection” 1:04:43 - Detecting anxiety as a body type 1:08:23 - The humor and absurdism of 1 1:17:25 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram1
Kim (SO/SP 8w7 863) joins us for an intimate and unguarded exploration of the inner world of Eight — where sovereignty is survival, connection is a gamble, and straight talk is an act of love. From the first moments, Kim's presence is unmistakable: a force of nature, all-in from the outset, inviting others to meet her at full throttle. We explore the emotional paradox at the heart of the Social Eight — the innocent hope that others will meet her with the same raw honesty she offers, the crushing self-blame that follows when that trust proves misplaced, and the instinct to amputate not just relationships but parts of her own soul in self-protection. We delve into the Eight's preemptive numbing, the hardened stance of being the gatekeeper of her world, and the quiet grief of being valued only for what she gives — not for who she is. Kim's story is a vivid portrait of Eight's vulnerability beneath the armor, and of the slow, courageous return to wholeness. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@UCPiABQQQE4Ret7cwmy-GmRA TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 2:08 - BOOM; here it is, 8w7 energy 6:41 - “I'm not a law of nature, I'm a force of it" 14:31 - Rejection core; cutting parts off, self-hatred 20:16 - Living as a social hexad type in a world of attachment types 26:41 - 8 and naiveté 34:35 - Social controlling, “I'm the queen of the chess board” 45:40 - Black and white mindset, 8s relationship to anger 54:07 - “You care about what I am, not who I am”, rejection and usefulness 1:02:08 - Anger vs. indifference and their role in care 1:06:52 - Understanding delusional or realistic boundaries 1:13:16 - Apologetic 8, integrity 1:22:00 - Forgiveness and innocence 1:26:11 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram8
Alice (SO/SP 9w1 973) joins us for a profound and poetic exploration of the inner world of Nine — where the background environment can overshadow the self, and the longing isn't for pleasure, but for the peace of never having been born. We dive into the quiet ache for pre-conscious coziness, the hesitance to disturb reality with one's presence, and the existential ambivalence at the heart of Nine structure: Do I really want to exist? Alice reflects on the invisible toll of absorbing the world's energies, the disorienting effects of nightlife work, and the shattering aftermath of real connection gone silent. Her story is a journey of individuation and the slow integration of disparate parts of herself — from coming out as trans, to seeing herself mirrored in others' self-suppression, and ultimately, to saying yes to life. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 02:24 - Alice's current life context 08:17 - Being an extremely sensitive person, social 9 absorbing the environment 17:25 - “Swirling in your own cauldron” of the 9-7 stem 28:17 - “Ruining” the tapestry, 9w1 ethics 35:03 - 9s return to the womb; the desire to be unborn 44:03 - Saying ‘yes' to experience 46:36 - Childhood 53:27 - Living as a trans woman 1:05:28 - Submitting my whole self to gaze - social instinct, type 3, type 9 1:11:11 - Seeing myself in another's self-suppression 1:33:53 - Opting out of autopilot and serving a new vision for life 1:49:31 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Sarah's Type 6 mind moves fast—so fast it can create instant connection and obscure deeper intimacy. In this episode, she unpacks the whirlwind: the pull between independence and support, the trap of victimhood, and how unchecked reactivity nearly derailed a past relationship. With raw honesty, she explores self-sabotage, emotional spirals, and the slow work of learning self-trust. This is a conversation about growing beyond fear into real, grounded connection. LINKS Sarah's Music https://open.spotify.com/artist/6VAheMN9FSGheExTVAlBXD?si=rbz8XlbPQqaQx3mEr9De0A The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 House of Enneagram https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 03:08 - Reviewing the “bullet points” 07:39 - Therapy, working on self-needs rather than attachment structure reflecting needs of others 10:07 - What's hard about ‘touching ground' 25:11 - Victim mentality, self-sabotage, and type 6 ‘underdog' 32:43 - Reactive attachment 39:41 - Seeking a dimension of parental qualities in partners 47:20 - 6 dividing from one extreme pole to the other, finding balance in the center 52:28 - 6s entitlement of collective ‘markers' 1:02:42 - The horror of “it's all 6, it always has been” 1:17:50 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Kalla Mort shares her jaw-dropping story of escaping the high control religion of her youth (read: cult) and coming out as queer. This is an incredibly rich exploration of Attachment in the Mental Center, and how Type 6 navigates revolutions of core beliefs. Enjoy. LINKS Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 2:17 - Growing up in high control religion, 6 attachment in head center 8:30 - Young 6 strategizing, ‘selling out' in religion, theater life 10:21 - Sexuality in a purity culture 13:23 - IBLP, Gotthard, being a mouthpiece for collective ideals 24:56 - Awakening to identity 33:15 - Christian ‘beacon of love' vs. personal visceral truth 46:03 - Dissociation of the attachment types 50:41 - Mental health, conversion therapy 55:10 - 6 ‘copy-paste' discernment 1:04:21 - Psychosomatic symptoms of body/mind incongruence 1:13:49 - The mental center as a prison for the heart 1:31:45 - Deconstruction 1:38:13 - Weaponizing faith 1:51:02 - Getting ‘too big' for old constructs 1:55:12 - Esoteric healing methods 2:02:25 - 6's mistrust of the mental center 2:18:38 - “My biggest savior is my biggest sin - subjectivity” 2:25:56 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
Sara Pryde (SP/SX 6w7 614), trauma-informed massage therapist, joins us from Wyoming. We dive into the existential crisis sparked when her partner didn't finish his weekly banana quota—forcing her into making muffins against her will. Plus, we unpack how Sara, as SP/SX armed with all three frustration types (1, 4, 7), meticulously crafts her ideal cozy cocoon, yet accidentally projects being more socially "available" than she ever truly feels. Enjoy. LINKS Sara's Website (Massage Therapy, Astrology, Blog)https://www.sarapryde.com/ Learn at The Enneagram Schoolhttps://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Coursehttps://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Get Typedhttps://www.enneagrammer.com/ Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 03:08 - Nervous interview ‘bubbling', 6-1 stem not managing the stress 09:28 - Social blind “I don't like being a person”, being perceived, “I have to be mythic” 17:22 - Massage therapy, curating perfect environment 22:38 - Conflicts in Type Structure, 6 can't cut off from service and security 29:24 - Comfort is not health, coming up for air as sp/sx 33:41 - “Security” as Self-preservation 6 34:55 - “Muffin Madness”: social blind frustration 49:32 - Not holding a socially collective reasoning 57:24 - Accidental availability as a 6, despite social blind 1:01:19 - Childhood 1:14:18 - Self-Reliance as Type 6, Anchoring to meaning-making maps 1:19:41 - 6s inner zig-zag, different ‘parts' conflicting thoughts/statements 1:30:48 - Outro CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6
In this candid Enneagram interview, Kate (SO/SX 7w8 793) discusses her identity as an "entitled brat," her allergy to drudgery and limitation, and her dream (since she was young) of being a "kept woman." She also shares how therapy helped her distinguish between "fun negative" (entertainment) and "real negative" (trauma), allowing her to process difficult emotions rather than "bouncing" away from them. Enjoy. Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Browse More Interviews by Type https://www.theenneagramschool.com/enneagram-interviews-and-panels Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Timestamps 00:00 - Intro 03:59 - Outlook on what Kate does in life, not tracking self-preservation linearly 07:03 - Frustration of 7, not ‘hippy dippy' 13:22 - “I live in the land of Kate”, Type 7 relationship to freedom, theater of negativity masks "real" negativity 20:34 - No super-ego; fighting reality 22:13 - Friendship as a social 7, having fun and dealing with shit, reciprocity 28:01 - Being a ‘brat', wanting to be a ‘kept woman', freedom from ‘have-to's' 33:29 - SP blind 7: no shame in others caring for them 37:31 - Being assertive, getting ‘in trouble' as a framework 42:10 - Being loved more than loving 45:23 - Harry Potter addiction, proxy for SP grounding 48:31 - Therapy, letting in past hurts, not bouncing out of pain 55:21 - Seeing memories in new light, somatic connections 1:09:40 - Outro --- CREDITS Interview by Josh Lavine Edited by Kristen Oberly Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram7
Anna Palumbo (SO/SP 9w8 973) is a Type 9 mother who has been undergoing a profound transformation—untangling herself from patterns of enmeshment and reconnecting with her own life-force. In this episode, we focus on Anna's relationship with her Type 6 daughter and how her Type 9 tendency to merge initially obscured her ability to be present with her daughter's reactivity. We also explore the Positive Outlook reflex of Type 9 and its dynamic tension with the "point-out-the-problem" and "raise-the-alarm" tendency of Type 6. Anna brings remarkable clarity, grace, and self-awareness to this discussion, offering a rare, high-resolution look at the inner experience of a 9 navigating parenthood and the individuation journey. Enjoy this powerful conversation. Learn at The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Browse More Interviews by Type https://www.theenneagramschool.com/enneagram-interviews-and-panels Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/ Timestamps 00:00 - Intro 04:53 - Anna's attachment journey as a mom 08:21 - 9 mom absorbing 6 daughter's reactive processing 12:02 - Slowing down & attuning to self 13:40 - Holding boundaries as a gut type, anchoring to self 16:36 - "An incredible return of energy" 18:36 - The porousness of 9's nervous system, fogginess & infusion 20:56 - Positive type reframe (2, 7, 9) amputates emotional experiences 21:48 - Attachment type fusion (3, 6, 9) 27:28 - Going on autopilot, 9 dissociation 28:26 - 9w8 rejection, shutting down of external stimuli 30:16 - Self-locating via music and art 33:04 - Why it's hard for 9s to be with someone else's pain 36:07 - Josh's mom is a 9w8 40:56 - Positive reframe to keep hope alive, not get "lost" in pain 43:36 - Resensitizing means being more aware of misses 45:19 - Can my relationships bear the new me? -- Hurdles of attachment types returning to themselves 47:40 - 9w8 bluntness shuts down communications 52:48 - Relationship dynamics changing, not needing to be on the same page 55:12 - Saying yes & no without over-explaining 55:46 - Loyalty to self a valuable thing 1:03:11 - 9s integration line to types 3 and 6, valuing oneself & being awake 1:06:45 - New level of relaxation, not trying so hard to keep inner and outer world separate 1:10:47 - Outro --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
Janice is a life-coach and an Enneagram 3, and at the time of this interview she is 84 years old. We explore her past relationships, the life-long inner tension between doing "what's expected of me" vs "what I want," and what parts of the Type 3 structure still drive her at her life stage. Enjoy. The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Our Intro Course https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Timestamps 0:00 - Intro 2:40 - Janice's Enneagram history 6:40 - "I can do anything I want to do", the little engine that could 10:00 - Freedom vs the 'shoulds' of life 11:51 - Stances of 'withholding' throughout life; power or protection 13:50 - Rebelling against pressures, superego vs authentic kindness 16:03 - Being nice or feeling responsible, 'not needing' blocks ability to receive 17:08 - "I'm an Amazon woman"... NOT a "little old lady" -- and, shifting to receive 22:07 - Type 3 framework, needing to be seen as valuable and admirable, "the drive for the fundamental" 29:25 - Janice's relationship with growing old, trusting the body, growing intensity 32:55 - Memory, removing the clutter, trusting in presence 36:19 - Relationships, frustration/anger, 7's difficulty with processing 'darker' emotions 39:57 - Going through Janice's four relationships 43:49 - Getting out of a depression, looking at mindsets objectively 46:22 - Taking care of someone in decline, the freedom of stepping back 49:02 - Being in the happiest time of life, having no shame in answering questions, being at peace with the 'lacking' parts of self 58:25 - Outro --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview
Mariona M (SX/SO 9w1 973) is a language activist in Catalonia. In the first phase of this conversation, we explore her complex relationship with crying to process emotional backlog, and how her type's pattern of reaching for deeper self-understanding in order to soothe herself can, ironically, create more inner turbulence. In the second phase, we ground ourselves, and Mariona's essence as an SX 9 comes through. Enjoy. Mariona's Link Treehttps://linktr.ee/marionamiretlanguages Browse Interviews by Type & Instinct https://www.theenneagramschool.com/enneagram-interviews-and-panels The Enneagram Schoolhttps://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Master the Enneagram (Online Course)https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Timestamps 00:38 - Intro 03:56 - Self-preservation blind interview set-up 05:51 - Personal process 'is precious', "I am my own home now" 08:24 - Taking self-responsibility for stress, experiencing exhaustion, being sensitive 10:35 - 'The base is always a fragility', crying as a helpful workout 18:18 - Type 9 absorption, sexual instinct need for a discharge 21:56 - Pain "wanting" to be experienced 25:17 - Reaching catharsis, expressing 'messages' of feeling and truths 28:51 - Being a channel for personal discoveries 33:54 - The 'Snow Globe' Effect, living in fantasy rather than enacting it in reality 40:22 - Settling the snow globe of the interview 47:44 - Type 3 attached to conversation productivity, 7 fix flipping tables, Mariona sings from a book 53:38 - Seduction/hooking or flirting with life 57:25 - Demanding/needing attention, sharing openly and being oneself 1:01:37 - Being seduced by creative spontaneity 1:06:16 - Taking ownership of qualities that shine 1:08:27 - Reflection and coming to a close 1:11:41 - Outro --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9
John Luckovich and I (Josh Lavine) are RELEASING OUR INTRO ENNEAGRAM COURSE. In this conversation, we talk about what it was like working together and why this thing took us a whole year to make. We're very proud of the course. Official release is Jan 6, 2025, but you can buy it during our holiday presale at 50% OFF of the founding members price(through Dec 31). Link below. https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course Timestamps 00:00 Intro 01:57 Josh is burned out, editing is done, intro course is ready 04:17 Josh and John "access" the Enneagram differently 08:35 Josh's SO 3 ability to organize and communicate effectively 10:36 John's 4w5 way of teaching from the inner labyrinth 14:00 How the Enneagram lives inside us 15:30 Two heart type teachers, attention to identity and emotional landscape 18:03 Clarifying unexplored Enneagram terms 20:06 How surprisingly hard it was to create an intro course 24:23 Next steps for the Enneagram School 31:39 Why we did audio not video course 37:33 The course e-book 40:45 Why you should listen to this thing that we worked on! 43:07 Enneagram not just useful "at work" or "in relationships," but wherever people are 45:18 Use this course to start from the roots 49:09 Outro --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagram4
In this episode, Nicholas (SP/SO 9w1 936) talks about 9's passivity in relation to their dominant instinct and how they can "hope things just work themselves out." He also talks about how he learned to focus, take himself seriously, and summon the discipline to manifest his life vision. He also works through an intense caffeine spike in self-pres 9 fashion, so you can see in realtime as Nicholas narrates his 9 way of containing the intensity of his experience within an acceptable window of tolerance, or "envelope function." Couldn't have written it better. Enjoy! Watch this interview on YouTube to observe body language and other type cues Learn the Enneagram at The Enneagram School --- Timestamps 0:00 Intro 4:11 Learning the Enneagram & mistyping 5:48 Enneagram as weed addiction substitute; something to "latch onto" - body attachment 7:13 9 "leveling" of experience, finding the optimal intensity 9:09 body vs image - what I say depends on how it feels in my body 10:05 Celcius caffeine hitting now, suppressing it within the 9 envelop function 15:24 Time Management, Discipline creates freedom 19:01 freedom as autonomy of the body center 22:16 Being mental last, mind vs body agendas battling; "crazy concept called a budget" 26:04 taking my projects seriously rather than letting it "figure itself out"; 9 passivity relative to dominant instinct 30:06 Relationship motivation to make life improvements - not wanting to be told what to do, but to come to it myself 34:01 What happens when you're told what to do? 40:18 golf is life? 42:03 9 line to 3 - Nicholas' life vision 49:41 Domains of obsessiveness 53:44 9 dispersion of attention keeps life force diffuse; 9 -> 3 is focusing attention 1:00:08 Josh's similarities; 3-9 stem up front 1:03:04 Prioritizing as 9 Engagement, yet paradox -- beware priorities coming from 9-3 ego vs God, grace, higher self 1:10:08 9 "I don't matter" --> others should prioritize ME more; 9 ego - not wanting to be ignored (disrespected) 1:12:58 faith as anchor for self-remembering 1:16:00 How enneagram can reinforce personality instead of liberate to focus on what's really important 1:20:31 The Celsius Drink Finale!
Tracy Einstein is a Somatic Experiencing® practitioner and Alexander Technique teacher. We talk all about the body, how it holds and releases trauma, and the way she works with clients. Enjoy. Tracy's Website https://tracyeinstein.com/ The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Deb Dana's info https://rhythmofregulation.com/ Book mentioned Nurturing Resilience: Helping Clients Move Forward from Developmental Trauma--An Integrative Somatic Approach by Kathy Kain & Stephen Terrell Timestamps 0:00 Intro 2:49 Our Body-blind culture 4:22 Tracy's journey to body work 7:44 The Preverbal universe 11:22 What is Alexander Technique? 15:00 Debauched Kinsethesia 18:03 Optimal Use 27:22 Endgaining -- how being too results oriented sabotages the work 30:37 The Enneagram Centers (Body, Heart, Mind) 32:22 Opening up superhighway between brain and body 34:48 What is somatic experiencing? (Letting body process without mental self-consciousness) 40:00 Tracy's practitioner lens -- what she notices 47:50 What is Polyvagal Theory? 51:31 You have to disengage social posturing to sense within 54:09 Many paths to regulation -- arguably the point of all modalities 56:46 Centering your own healing as practitioner is crucial; very clear lesson from AT because of body to body transference 58:57 Alexander Training 1:02:17 Having kid -- noticing what we learn before words -- the preverbal universe is the foundation of our lives 1:05:01 The terrible gift of trauma -- & the structure of society creates impossible parenting situations 1:09:07 You might not understand what's shifting somatically but don't need to -- body vs mental intelligence (or left vs right brain) 1:12:04 Final reflections 1:12:50 Plugs & Resources! --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #alexandertechnique #somatic #somaticexperiencing
Kristen Oberly & Kaisa Jauhiainen -- aka The Dream Girls (minus Sammy!) -- are brilliant pioneers who have discovered the connection between their unconscious dream worlds and their instinctual drives and Enneagram type, and they have convinced me of the power of working with Dreams for personal transformation. They are offering a class through the Enneagram School starting 9/15 to help you develop a creative relationship with your unconscious. Timestamps 0:00 intro 3:37 Interview Start 4:15 Josh's Dream 17:12 Dream Ego vs what the unconscious is really saying 24:24 social 3 material in Josh's dream 27:59 Josh's skepticism -- are dream symbols really universal? 33:08 Dreams create your personal mythology 38:41 What the unconscious perspective adds to Enneagram 45:22 Kaisa's life since working with dreams 48:51 FIRST to apply jungian dream analysis to personality in this way 51:01 Dreamgirls' synchronized dreaming, unconscious to unconscious connections 55:22 Dreamwork as path to individuation and, surprisingly, the body 58:56 Individuation needs the unconscious perspective 1:02:44 Dreams are creative and freeing; Overcoming inner work fatigue 1:06:49 Kaisa's creative relationship with dreams -- becoming more grounded 1:13:07 All about their class 1:21:25 Outro & Plugs! #dreams #enneagram #innerwork #growth #dreams
"I'm a manifester like nobody is.... No doesn't work for me. I don't even know what no means. No means I gotta think about it in a different way." Kim Jozwiak [SP/SO 7w6 712] is a therapist and trauma survivor whose life story blew me away. As a therapist, she works with EMDR therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and various forms of mindfulness. We discuss her life story, her trauma, and how she settled her mental center and grounded herself. Enjoy. Kim's Websitewww.kimberlyjozwiak.com The Enneagram School https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:48 Sweaty hands to start, nervous, "I've always been a runner" 6:08 7 interpretation of arousal unlikely to be "I'm anxious," more positive framing, buzzing exhilaration 9:01 Haircutting after trauma; mom's response, "Just trust in the Lord!" 11:24 Kim's "parts" consent to tell her life story; mom's brain injury 1 year before pregnant with me 15:41 Being molested & later symptoms, social anxiety 20:22 7 with triple super-ego (1, 2, 6) + disorganized attachment; repulsed when others merge with me 24:25 True crime fascination as counter-phobic response to be near psychological pay-dirt; "President of the misfits" 27:11 Traumatic middle school years: "instant love affair" with pot, alcohol; being taken advantage of; dad dies, religious gaslighting 33:43 Hiding overwhelmed self; NO ONE KNEW; checked out mother praying over me in tongues 37:09 "I'm amazing at not getting caught." 7 ability to get what I want; "I will not be trapped by not having enough money" -- the only friend with a job; SP awareness 41:55 From insincere faker to genuine "Jesus freak" - The Billy Graham Crusade and Kim's religious awakening (at 16) 46:43 Josh making sense of Kim's awakening, given previous religious gaslighting 50:32 Despite being pied piper leader, so disconnected that barely remember those people 52:55 The risky 7 way she moved to Chicago after high school 55:47 Flight energy -- "I can't be here. It'll be better somewhere else." Keep moving, "No one's gonna trap me." 58:28 Personality as survival mechanism 1:00:07 "I meet a boy" -- Christian morality, get married bc we're having sex (6 wing); inner split; difficult marriage, intensified drinking; "I kept moving, job to job, skimmed it all, didn't leave room for digestion" 1:06:03 Couples therapy - first time in therapy at all -- then met Joe 1:09:58 Self-abandonment, trauma-based; "should" vs "want" 1:13:41 7 mental "digitization" of others, not truly seeing others, creating suffering; 7-2 stem; in relationship with a 2 1:16:48 The conscious practice of connecting -- can only connect to other when I'm connected to my body 1:19:02 Therapy with Steve the 8 -- into the body; Being a mental type in therapy, getting past the "froth" to the substance 1:24:31 EMDR therapy -- a method for mental types! 1:32:26 Asking for what I want at my job 1:37:40 Equine therapy, "I'm a manifester" "No doesn't work for me"; drinking a lot of wine...; couldn't crawl out of depression 1:41:39 Confronting my alcohol addiction in therapy school; Going to AA, "something pierced through"; Gluttony leads to entrapment 1:53:49 Sober, vegan therapist -- living from inside out now, aligned to heart 1:57:30 7 Virtue of Sobriety, settled inner state "vs" the frothy mental center activity; IFS helps (!) 2:01:11 IFS similar to working with horses 2:05:03 7 awareness of darkness 2:08:31 How do you know when you're being wise and clear vs cluttered and frothy? 2:13:10 What's this been like? 2:15: 31 Kim's "Angel of Death" -- the part that gave Kim permission 2:17:49 Final Reflections 2:19:06 Plugs --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram7 #type7
Join John Luckovich and Alexandra Arroyo-Acevedo for a Summertime class on the Sexual Instinct at The Enneagram School. Class Websitehttps://www.theenneagramschool.com/sexual-instinct-class John Luckovich [SX/SP 4w5] is Co-Founder of The Enneagram School, author of The Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram, and co-host on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast. Alexandra Arroyo-Acevedo [SO/SP 9w1] is a co-host on the Big Hormone Enneagram Podcast. She also does personal Astrology readings and Enneagram-based commentary on reality shows like the Bachelorette. Timestamps 0:00 Intro 1:18 What are the instincts & instinctual stacking? 3:06 What the course is about 4:55 Interview Start — Inspiration for offering this class 7:33 Why develop your sexual instinct? 12:15 Sexual value vs social and self-pres value 14:10 Sexual energy is being your own fun 19:39 Sexual instinct is play; combatting societal shame for frivolous pleasure 21:20 What's scary about the sexual instinct 26:43 Polarities — you have to be in yourself to occupy a pole 31:46 How different stackings approach sex 37:31 Heart & the instincts; being yourself and losing yourself 40:42 Purpose & sacredness in pleasure, surrendering to enjoyment 45:07 One way doors, loss of self and transformation 46:17 Masculine & feminine polarity 55:14 Polarity is exciting, creates tension 58:59 Balancing the sexual instinct as SX blind vs SX dominant 1:08:31 Practices in the course; differentiating instincts via sensation; reinforcing sexual instinct through personal aesthetic and display 1:15:49 Importance of this topic for society 1:18:20 Class Info --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #instincts
"I think it's my purpose in life to leave an imprint on people or places I go. Maybe it's like little seeds that I plant or pixie dust I spread around and it blooms a little bit. I just love that." Full Title: Chanti, Type 7 - Magically Enhancing My Environment, Having Fun, and Getting (Away With) What I Want Chanti [SX/SP 7w6 794] is a fascinating and magical human being living in Belgium. We explore how how assertive Chanti can be about her priorities, the difference between frustration and attachment perspectives, and the centrality of her aesthetic impact to her identity. Enjoy. Note: I make a mistake in the first minute, calling Chanti "social first." She is sexual first. Chanti's Links YouTube: @MOONFLOWER_asmr Insta: @moonflowerchanti The Enneagram School https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps 0:00 Intro 3:10 Magically enhancing the space between us 10:57 Bumping heads with 6s, being assertive about standards of art, creativity 14:12 Frustration with 6 colleague about "having to be grateful to boss" for being "allowed" to go on a trip 16:43 Chanti vs Josh's "rule-following" disposition (Frustration vs Attachment) 20: 14 "When people like me I can do whatever I want"; but when charm doesn't work, gets under my skin 26:11 Social blind 7 moment 36:05 Being low superego, story of family, brother's expectation (Frustration vs Attachment) -- low "obligation" energy 44:35 Rationalizing vs coming from sincere inner place 48:27 Chanti's values "vs" Responsibility 52:42 Other's "shoulds" about contraint, my "shoulds" about freedom 56:24 Convincing myself "why I should do something," asking for permission til I get yes (6 wing) 59:41 New nourishment -- social, listening, attunement in relationship 1:08:32 Hidden Social/Heart suffering when others don't value me for my aesthetic contributions 1:18:27 Our SO/SP 3 vs SX/SP 7 conversation dynamic 1:21:12 Chanti's ASMR 1:26:48 Not fun to be social or 6-fixed? ... 1:30:44 Outro & plugs! --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram7 #type7
"When we live inside a pattern, we don't know that we're living inside a pattern, which is why it's hard for people to type themselves. We just think that's reality. It's like the Johari box, there's what we don't know what we don't know. And I didn't know how desperately disconnected I was. I didn't feel as a child that was missing out on anything. I thought I was just fine. I thought watching the ants was more interesting." Russ Hudson co-authored The Wisdom of the Enneagram and other Enneagram classics with his longtime collaborator Don Riso. He is also the Co-Founder of the Enneagram Institute and the Founding Director and former Vice President of the International Enneagram Association. Russ has appeared on Good Morning America and The CBS Morning Show and is a popular speaker at conferences and retreat centers around the world including the Esalen Institute, the Wisdom 2.0 Conference, and the Science and Non-Duality Conference (SAND). Russ Hudson https://russhudson.com/ The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Get Typed https://www.enneagrammer.com/get-typed/ Time Stamps 0:00 Intro 2:52: Interview Start — Discovering I was a 5 8:41 The “Ouch” of facing my disconnection 11:03 Spending time alone in childhood, not feeling like I was missing out 14:03 Hard to feel genuine connection or belonging 16:49 Connection problem not fixable on level of personality; not "safe" around people 18:08 Russ' emotional breakthrough & receiving holding 23:35 Love present even when people are deluded or in personality 25:15 Reconciling science & religion since childhood 30:03 Mystery: why some people shrug off experiences but others are transformed -- 5 judgement of others' valuing their ignorance 32:43 Touch overwhelming as kid — complicates romance & sex; Somatic tightness cementing social isolation 37:24 5 fear the "overwhelm of being" 40:29 Inner experience of escaping to emptiness 43:05 Mental density or emptiness polarity — penetrating into the void 47:30 The experience of discovery, illumination 50:32 The gift & danger of Russ's meticulous memory 52:48 Romance & relationships; merging with ambivalence 57:04 Unsentimental realism / non-attachment "vs" nihilism, cynicism, eject from world 1:00:27 5 Uncooperativeness “vs” flexing for relationship 1:03:51 How Russ relate to your publicness as a 5? 1:06:26 Avarice, withholding of self; withdrawal is rapid and intense 1:11:20 Growing edge: SP blindspot; keeping hope, fighting natural tendency for cynicism; "reasons to be cheerful” 1:17:40 Are you still interested in the enneagram? 1:19:36 The practical angle of creativity 1:21:55 Impractical interests 1:25:46 Plugs --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram5 #type5
“I simply drove to this person's house right away when I was feeling this rejection and said, listen I'm sitting outside in the car if you want to come out and talk. You know, but I didn't go to the door and knock. I didn't want to intrude. I want to respect his freedom. But at the same time I want to say “Hey let's move on and see what's happening, and if things need to shift and if I have missed some things, please.” Bob Fecas [SO/SP 2w1 279] is a spiritual advisor, mentor, and teacher of philosophy and theology in the Atlanta area for over 25 years. Bob's Website https://www.bobfecas.com/ The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Get Officially Typed by Enneagrammer https://www.enneagrammer.com/get-typed Timestamps 0:00 Intro 1:54 Losing Friends & having a "special place" others' life 5:22 Relational disappointment on 70th birthday 7:36 Response when others become “removed"; driving to their house 12:32 Hand on student's shoulder 15:05 Positive Outlook: Expecting relational patch ups 16:53 Helping to help or to feel appreciated? 19:12 Faith — human disappointments couched by a higher love 24:53 Grief & exploring the insincerity of 2 30:36 Being inspired by the Saints; goodness, giving 35:14 Being a teacher — students over content 38:30 Bob's 2-ish compliment to Josh 39:37 Bob's joi d'vivre; physical contact with all 42:15 Gift of making personal contact, even in “discipline" 44:54 Teaching philosophy, relationship with student central 47:59 Relationship as reason to live; as teacher, engaging the unengaged 54:22 The 4 types of teachers 56:38 Another compliment from Bob 57:11 Excellent 2 superego example 58:32 2s being "hypocrites," insincere; 2 image vs identity 1:00:35 Bob's humanness relative to inspiring saints 1:04:00 Owning vs avoiding negative emotions; real vs fake positivity 1:10:42 How do you know when you're spiritually bypassing 1:16:05 What's the most unhealthy you've been psychologically? 1:20:58 Parsing Crises of Meaning vs "going down the levels" 1:25:00 Emptiness underneath the image 1:29:14 Thanks & Salutations 1:31:16 Plugs --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagram2 #enneagramtypes
"I've often heard people talk about The Work of Byron Katie as the "how"... there's the "what" of spiritual development... you know freedom, what it looks like... it's described so well in terms of Essence in the Enneagram. There are many ways to talk about it in many traditions. And there are many ways in terms of the how. But Byron Katie's is such a simple and accessible how. Like, take this step, follow this step, go through these little points... and there's often some evolution happening in just 20-30 minutes." Todd Smith is a facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie -- one of the most powerful methods of inner work I've encountered. We discuss what it is, demo it, and debrief. Enjoy. Todd's Links https://theworkasmeditation.com/ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wiggle-room/id1612348594 The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps 0:00 Intro 2:21 Overview of The Work 6:22 Starting The Work -- Josh's stressful dinner 14:21 Unpacking the stressful moment - emotional interpretation, finding the right words 17:25 Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet Line 1 (there are 6 lines total) 20:49 Line 2 22:33 Line 3 28:27 Line 4 31:32 Line 5 33:35 Line 6 37:42 The 4 Questions - "Be in that moment" as you answer 39:21 Question 1 42:44 Question 3 44:37 Catching myself "performing" 55:19 The Turnarounds 56:47 Turnaround 1 1:02:14 Turnaround 2 1:11:06 Heart Center "Image" in the work 1:14:12 Turnaround 3 1:15:36 Summary of The Work 1:20:01 The Work is top practice but resisted; attachment to suffering 1:27:02 Todd's reflection on enneagram & the work 1:31:20 The 3 Centers & The Work 1:39:07 The Work & Gendlin's Focusing (finding the right words) 1:48:34 The power of allowing the tantrum 1:47:09 The practice vs "image" of having an open mind 1:51:13 Diagnosis not same as cure 1:56:23 The Work & Adult Ego Development 2:02:44 We approach inner work in the style of our type 2:09:45 Salutations 2:12:55 Plugs --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #thework #byronkatie #mindfulness #presence #innerwork
Sandy Jahmi Burg is a facilitator of Gendlin's Focusing -- the most powerful method of tapping into body intelligence that I've encountered. In this interview, we define it, demo it, and debrief. Enjoy. Sandy's Website https://learnfocusing.org/ The Enneagram School https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps 0:00 Intro 3:46 What is Focusing? 6:30 The "felt-sense" implies "life-forward" movement 10:02 The importance of being "in relationship" with the felt sense 12:13 Making an invitation as you enter a Focusing session 13:35 Demo - Lead in & invitation, creating conditions for a felt sense to arrive 18:33 Demo - The first felt sense, "taking our understanding back" to our bodies 20:08 Demo - Making contact & letting it know you hear it, "Getting into relationship" 24:06 Demo - Acknowledging & getting "bigger than" 25:37 Demo - Responding to how it sees you 28:19 Demo - It's "message" for me 32:11 Wordless metabolizing; sitting in the "solution" state, not the problem 35:00 Setting an intention vs inhabiting a way of being 38:26 What the hell just happened? - The "steps" in a Focusing Journey 39:24 The grocery store analogy; Discovering, making contact, coming into relationship, experiencing shift 49:12 The leap of faith -- acknowledging what arises as sentient entities 51:00 Parts Work & the "Self" (capital S); on being merged with a part & getting "bigger than" it 54:58 The "result" of a focusing session: before, merged; after, in relationship 59:50 The facilitator's POV: tracking, giving prompts, helping Focuser get into relationship 1:08:29 On "checking back" with the body; when something feels understood and accepted for how it is now, that's what releases it to shift 1:11:56 when something feels understood and accepted for how it is now, that's what releases it to shift 1:20:15 How to work with Sandy 1:21:59 Plugs
Yamira [SO/SX 5w4 531] is an artist in New York. Watch this interview on YouTube so you can see Yamira's art as she talks about it. Yamira's links https://www.mossyscabs.com/ @mossyscabs @_brujaja The Enneagram School https://theenneagramschool.com/ Get Officially Typed by Enneagrammer https://www.enneagrammer.com/get-typed Timestamps 0:00 Intro 1:49 Why make art? 7:34 Grief losing whole portfolio of art (!) 10:49 What was the Grief like? 12:09 On delaying "dealing with the grief" 13:55 Facing fear and becoming a more "public" person 15:15 5 themes - cerebralizing emotions; privacy 16:50 Becoming more "public" by working at a restaurant 19:51 Wanting to be known; (re)-introducing myself through art 23:19 High stakes art has my Self in it (vs impersonal, low stakes art) 24:29 Example of "lower stakes" art 28:44 Yamira's burrowing 5 mind; getting to more clarity & precision 30:59 What did you learn about grief? -- and how that changed the art 36:13 Yamira's redemptive post-grief arc 37:35 Tattooing, want my art to help people (Though not the why) 40:16 Beauty inherently helps people 41:45 The intimacy of tattoo art; how collaborative? 46:01 Realizing it can be good to share yourself with others. "Didn't used to care about it" 51:22 Overcoming natural tendency NOT to share; childhood memories of rejection 55:49 Social life as an adult 58:55 Others as "aliens" 1:01:30 From isolation to intimacy; "can't respect everyone" (& inner critic backlash); I want to have fun together but not be clowns 1:06:42 Merriment! - SO/SX with 1 fix - "We should be enjoying ourselves!" 1:11:06 What's this been like? 1:14:48 Plugs
Kelly Ayadi [SO/SX 5w6 512] is frequenter of online Enneagram forums and a somewhat more "relational" type 5 than might be typical, given her double-people instinctual stacking and 2 fix. In this conversation, we talk about her childhood "doing her own thing" and her relationship with her 9 partner, her kids, and her family. Kelly's framing of certain emotions as "unnecessary" is illuminating, as is her relationship with expressing love in a way that reaches the other person and appreciation for acts of kindness from her partner. I feel this conversation is very helpful in showing how 5s differ from 9s, and more broadly how 5s operate in relationship via rejection in the mental center. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/my3JxeaIHvM Get Typed: https://www.enneagrammer.com/get-typed The Enneagram School: https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps 0:00 Intro 2:42 Little Kelly 5:45 Kelly's work at dept of human services 8:19 Conversation anchorpoints 9:13 "Professional student," doing my own path, not having to deal with outside noise & relationships 13:13 People-y stacking "vs" 5 private, uncooperative 15:51 Drone operator as 5 metaphor 17:26 Not wanting to be touched; doing own thing 21:58 What is my "own thing"? People fascination 24:32 Partner as specimen(?) 27:18 Withdrawing in relationship, won't compromise self 30:35 Our Courtship; defending me online was "unnecessary" 35:16 Rejection-Attachment dynamic in relationship; appreciating "unnecessary" kindness 41:52 Untouchable independence; emotional neutrality 44:19 Unpacking "Unnecessary" 46:54 Fantasy of lower emotionality everywhere 49:43 Not entering other's frame (Avarice); non-reciprocal expectations: "you come to me, I don't go to you" 53:15 First relationship I *want* to make work; becoming more flexible? 59:37 Entering others frame as rejection type 1:02:16 Painful learning I wasn't a "Nurturing" mom 1:05:27 I want to be loving but don't know how 1:10:15 Were you nurtured? Did it matter? 1:13:46 Pain of not being seen as competent; disconnect about "What matters?" 1:20:26 Pain being the black sheep the "off" one 1:22:00 A good moment with her father 1:24:36 Kelly/Josh's responses to her "heartwarming" story 1:29:43 Intellectually framing experience before I can feel it - what's helped? 1:33:05 What's this been like for you? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagramtype5 #enneagram5 #enneagraminterview
Kelly Ayadi [SO/SX 5w6 512] is frequenter of online Enneagram forums and a somewhat more "relational" type 5 than might be typical, given her double-people instinctual stacking and 2 fix. In this conversation, we talk about her childhood "doing her own thing" and her relationship with her 9 partner, her kids, and her family. Kelly's framing of certain emotions as "unnecessary" is illuminating, as is her relationship with expressing love in a way that reaches the other person and appreciation for acts of kindness from her partner. I feel this conversation is very helpful in showing how 5s differ from 9s, and more broadly how 5s operate in relationship via rejection in the mental center. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/my3JxeaIHvM Get Typed: https://www.enneagrammer.com/get-typed The Enneagram School: https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps 0:00 Intro 2:42 Little Kelly 5:45 Kelly's work at dept of human services 8:19 Conversation anchorpoints 9:13 "Professional student," doing my own path, not having to deal with outside noise & relationships 13:13 People-y stacking "vs" 5 private, uncooperative 15:51 Drone operator as 5 metaphor 17:26 Not wanting to be touched; doing own thing 21:58 What is my "own thing"? People fascination 24:32 Partner as specimen(?) 27:18 Withdrawing in relationship, won't compromise self 30:35 Our Courtship; defending me online was "unnecessary" 35:16 Rejection-Attachment dynamic in relationship; appreciating "unnecessary" kindness 41:52 Untouchable independence; emotional neutrality 44:19 Unpacking "Unnecessary" 46:54 Fantasy of lower emotionality everywhere 49:43 Not entering other's frame (Avarice); non-reciprocal expectations: "you come to me, I don't go to you" 53:15 First relationship I *want* to make work; becoming more flexible? 59:37 Entering others frame as rejection type 1:02:16 Painful learning I wasn't a "Nurturing" mom 1:05:27 I want to be loving but don't know how 1:10:15 Were you nurtured? Did it matter? 1:13:46 Pain of not being seen as competent; disconnect about "What matters?" 1:20:26 Pain being the black sheep the "off" one 1:22:00 A good moment with her father 1:24:36 Kelly/Josh's responses to her "heartwarming" story 1:29:43 Intellectually framing experience before I can feel it - what's helped? 1:33:05 What's this been like for you? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagramtype5 #enneagram5 #enneagraminterview
I present to you the audio of the infamous Mascara Incident (which we don't talk about). This was recorded in December 2022, about 9 months before Courtney's official video interview. In this conversation, we explore Courtney's experience as an Attachment type in the Mental center, her typing journey (starting at 1, landing on 6), and her 6-ish journey to uncovering original insights about Object Relations and sharing them on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast. We also touch on Alexander Technique and other grounding practices that helped Courtney discover her Inner Authority and her body's ability to discern Truth. Courtney's Website: courtneysmithconsulting.com The Enneagram School: https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Courtney on BHE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bhe-36-object-relations-daggers-to-the-heart-part-1/id1493756268?i=1000489894365 Get typed: https://www.enneagrammer.com/get-typed Timestamps 0:00 Intro 2:27 Enneagram origin story; conscious leadership group; resisting 6, mistyping as 1 (hopeful identification, similar to 9->4) 8:17 How'd you realize you were a 6? 11:40 Complexity around 6 & "Inner Guidance" --> journey to 6 demonstrating 6's relationship with "authority," attachment & reactivity together, argumentativeness, "pressure-testing" 15:47 What builds trust -- ENGAGEMENT, willingness to engage -- "Are you gonna play that game with me?"; wanting other to be certain, yet also willing to meet me in uncertainty 19:19 Stamina for this kind of "engaging" 20:33 Looking for stability, "up there" in the mental space, where you can't find it 24:25 What's helped you ground? Footwork, balance, improving sensation, Alexander Technique, Letting the breath catch up with the mind 28:12 What is Alexander Technique? Why good for 6? 33:40 "Over-muscling": the body creating a false anchor from the mind being overused 38:02 Working with 6s, coach's pov; kinesthetic modeling; how are *you* showing up as coach? 41:53 Exploring: being settled in your own energy as a coach vs "entering their storm" 45:27 On Courtney claiming her inner authority, making discoveries in Object Relations, sharing on BHE 50:27 6 seeking coherence in the map 55:28 Why so important for things to make sense? Fear of randomness; "Faith" that "the pieces should fit together 58:30 Exploring attachment, Courtney's obsessive journey of discovering her insights; attachment, denial of self, responding to parental failure 1:02:21 Courtney's Object Relations insights applied to herself; energy towards maintaining "good relationships," but "on what terms?" 1:04:28 Examples!: mindful of teacher's perspectives, wary to contradict, assuming my ideas are derivative; how do I say something without saying others are wrong? (which compromises relationship) 1:10:49 Putting relationship at risk by having a different view 1:14:26 Courtney's 5 wing 1:21:50 What's it like now to have "exposed yourself as an authority?" .. Resistance to claiming it 1:26:26 Why does someone *want* to be an authority? 1:29:35 Tension between my 3 & Courtney's 6 in seeing her as an authority 1:36:29 Texture on words that originally had no juice for Courtney: Attachment, Support, Loyalty, Duty, Responsibility 1:42:44 Heart vs Head Center main preoccupation 1:45:41 Thank you's --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6 #enneagramtype6 #enneagraminterview
I present to you the audio of the infamous Mascara Incident (which we don't talk about). This was recorded in December 2022, about 9 months before Courtney's official video interview. In this conversation, we explore Courtney's experience as an Attachment type in the Mental center, her typing journey (starting at 1, landing on 6), and her 6-ish journey to uncovering original insights about Object Relations and sharing them on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast. We also touch on Alexander Technique and other grounding practices that helped Courtney discover her Inner Authority and her body's ability to discern Truth. Courtney's Website: courtneysmithconsulting.com The Enneagram School: https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Courtney on BHE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bhe-36-object-relations-daggers-to-the-heart-part-1/id1493756268?i=1000489894365 Get typed: https://www.enneagrammer.com/get-typed Timestamps 0:00 Intro 2:27 Enneagram origin story; conscious leadership group; resisting 6, mistyping as 1 (hopeful identification, similar to 9->4) 8:17 How'd you realize you were a 6? 11:40 Complexity around 6 & "Inner Guidance" --> journey to 6 demonstrating 6's relationship with "authority," attachment & reactivity together, argumentativeness, "pressure-testing" 15:47 What builds trust -- ENGAGEMENT, willingness to engage -- "Are you gonna play that game with me?"; wanting other to be certain, yet also willing to meet me in uncertainty 19:19 Stamina for this kind of "engaging" 20:33 Looking for stability, "up there" in the mental space, where you can't find it 24:25 What's helped you ground? Footwork, balance, improving sensation, Alexander Technique, Letting the breath catch up with the mind 28:12 What is Alexander Technique? Why good for 6? 33:40 "Over-muscling": the body creating a false anchor from the mind being overused 38:02 Working with 6s, coach's pov; kinesthetic modeling; how are *you* showing up as coach? 41:53 Exploring: being settled in your own energy as a coach vs "entering their storm" 45:27 On Courtney claiming her inner authority, making discoveries in Object Relations, sharing on BHE 50:27 6 seeking coherence in the map 55:28 Why so important for things to make sense? Fear of randomness; "Faith" that "the pieces should fit together 58:30 Exploring attachment, Courtney's obsessive journey of discovering her insights; attachment, denial of self, responding to parental failure 1:02:21 Courtney's Object Relations insights applied to herself; energy towards maintaining "good relationships," but "on what terms?" 1:04:28 Examples!: mindful of teacher's perspectives, wary to contradict, assuming my ideas are derivative; how do I say something without saying others are wrong? (which compromises relationship) 1:10:49 Putting relationship at risk by having a different view 1:14:26 Courtney's 5 wing 1:21:50 What's it like now to have "exposed yourself as an authority?" .. Resistance to claiming it 1:26:26 Why does someone *want* to be an authority? 1:29:35 Tension between my 3 & Courtney's 6 in seeing her as an authority 1:36:29 Texture on words that originally had no juice for Courtney: Attachment, Support, Loyalty, Duty, Responsibility 1:42:44 Heart vs Head Center main preoccupation 1:45:41 Thank you's --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6 #enneagramtype6 #enneagraminterview
Courtney Smith [SO/SP 6w5 631] is a brilliant & original Enneagram thinker who has contributed hugely to our understanding of Object Relations. In this conversation, we explore her life as a 6 navigating her desire to work within systems and to rebel against them, and ultimately cultivating a more grounded relationship to her inner authority. Courtney's insights are illuminating and penetrating as always. Courtney's Website: courtneysmithconsulting.com YouTube Version of Interview: https://youtu.be/FQ418io7E7A https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:15 Interview Start & Josh's messy hair 4:30 Setting up Courtney's biography 5:36 Do you hold a sense of your life story as a 6? 6:53 Professional trajectory as the way in; family all doctors & lawyers roles, safe, traditional 8:22 Law school, annoying incongruence, "It'd be easier if I liked this!" 9:23 Gender & Enneagram lens in college, split & trying to integrate analytical & quantitative, only-women-in-math-class and no-men-in-women's-studies; what's my place? 10:30 8 yrs old, "Mom, I'm not gonna stay here" -- wanting out, but not knowing "What do you want to go toward?" 13:20 Courtney's choice of major and minor mathematical economics & women's studies, navigating polarities; qualitative/quantitative, men/women 17:20 "Trying to have it both ways": high achieving within a system & rebelling against the system 20:23 At McKinsey, working super hard, doing what I'm "supposed to do," and disagreeing with it all 25:44 "If it's listened to..."; 6s feeling a lack of agency to shape reality, not willing to risk external authority's alliance; "There's nothing I can do about this. I have no choice." 31:16 Josh's 6 fix relating 33:52 Considered med school, then had baby - focus on reproductive justice, planned parenthood 36:09 focusing only on family was a "bad choice for me" -- left behind key aspects of self 38:33 Self-abandonment: Not taking responsibility for poor choices; "I had no choice!"; none of the credit, none of the blame 43:12 Shift of personal development work, conscious leadership group; "I have to take responsibility" for where I am 46:19 Before and after inner work; changed my life, but "your shit is your shit," esp in "real life" raising kids, home during covid, etc -- you get a new relationship to your patterns 52:11 Relationship now to public health, new life as coach 54:11 New relationship to the inner storm, reactivity; part of me watching myself have a tantrum, not taking it too seriously 57:39 Courtney's playfulness 1:00:30 6s & body work; getting lost in idea-space and finding the inner compass somatically; "Truth lies in the body" 1:07:47 Compulsive reading; skepticism: "I wanna check this out for myself," check people's sources, put the picture together from the ground up 1:11:32 6's devotional heart, contributing to greater whole 1:13:34 On working alone; not questioning life path any more, but still micro-questions about form of current work 1:16:37 Courtney the dragon; being myself the biggest gift I can give 1:20:37 Safari experience: "What you're transmitting is amazing and has nothing to do with your words"; Ian McGilchrist book, left-right brain language - non-language communication 1:28:00 What's this been like? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6 #enneagramtype6 #enneagraminterview
Courtney Smith [SO/SP 6w5 631] is a brilliant & original Enneagram thinker who has contributed hugely to our understanding of Object Relations. In this conversation, we explore her life as a 6 navigating her desire to work within systems and to rebel against them, and ultimately cultivating a more grounded relationship to her inner authority. Courtney's insights are illuminating and penetrating as always. Courtney's Website: courtneysmithconsulting.com YouTube Version of Interview: https://youtu.be/FQ418io7E7A https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:15 Interview Start & Josh's messy hair 4:30 Setting up Courtney's biography 5:36 Do you hold a sense of your life story as a 6? 6:53 Professional trajectory as the way in; family all doctors & lawyers roles, safe, traditional 8:22 Law school, annoying incongruence, "It'd be easier if I liked this!" 9:23 Gender & Enneagram lens in college, split & trying to integrate analytical & quantitative, only-women-in-math-class and no-men-in-women's-studies; what's my place? 10:30 8 yrs old, "Mom, I'm not gonna stay here" -- wanting out, but not knowing "What do you want to go toward?" 13:20 Courtney's choice of major and minor mathematical economics & women's studies, navigating polarities; qualitative/quantitative, men/women 17:20 "Trying to have it both ways": high achieving within a system & rebelling against the system 20:23 At McKinsey, working super hard, doing what I'm "supposed to do," and disagreeing with it all 25:44 "If it's listened to..."; 6s feeling a lack of agency to shape reality, not willing to risk external authority's alliance; "There's nothing I can do about this. I have no choice." 31:16 Josh's 6 fix relating 33:52 Considered med school, then had baby - focus on reproductive justice, planned parenthood 36:09 focusing only on family was a "bad choice for me" -- left behind key aspects of self 38:33 Self-abandonment: Not taking responsibility for poor choices; "I had no choice!"; none of the credit, none of the blame 43:12 Shift of personal development work, conscious leadership group; "I have to take responsibility" for where I am 46:19 Before and after inner work; changed my life, but "your shit is your shit," esp in "real life" raising kids, home during covid, etc -- you get a new relationship to your patterns 52:11 Relationship now to public health, new life as coach 54:11 New relationship to the inner storm, reactivity; part of me watching myself have a tantrum, not taking it too seriously 57:39 Courtney's playfulness 1:00:30 6s & body work; getting lost in idea-space and finding the inner compass somatically; "Truth lies in the body" 1:07:47 Compulsive reading; skepticism: "I wanna check this out for myself," check people's sources, put the picture together from the ground up 1:11:32 6's devotional heart, contributing to greater whole 1:13:34 On working alone; not questioning life path any more, but still micro-questions about form of current work 1:16:37 Courtney the dragon; being myself the biggest gift I can give 1:20:37 Safari experience: "What you're transmitting is amazing and has nothing to do with your words"; Ian McGilchrist book, left-right brain language - non-language communication 1:28:00 What's this been like? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram6 #enneagramtype6 #enneagraminterview
Siena Hassett [SX/SO 8w7 827] is a Theatre Maker, Movement Artist, and someone who really embodies the virtue of the 8 -- Innocence: the joyful unselfconscious expression of one's life-force, and the willingness to be affected by one's environment. Siena is so alive and engaging, and I couldn't help but be moved by her wide open presence in this conversation. I really appreciate how we moved from "caricaturing" her 8ness in the first 15 minutes to unveiling her real sensitivity and heart, especially as we explore her relationship to her art -- and how we navigated that transition together. I'm very proud to release this conversation. This is what it's all about. Enjoy. https://sienahassett.com/ www.theenneagramschool.com www.joshlavine.com Listen as podcast: https://www.joshlavine.com/podcasts/what-it-s-like-to-be-you/episodes/2148078776 --- Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:54 Open ended start: what's your type and why is it true? "Going through the object" 7:10 8 connection to action 11:20 Fear of "deadness," Amping up the situation 15:11 Taking a minute; new direction: life story from college 20:13 Movement art; why apply to corporeal mime school? 21:44 Professor: "I miss having you cry in class." 23:33 Radical decision, moving for this program; "It's what the work needed," SX instinct 26:45 Program before/after, sense of ease, freedom 29:22 Why so passionate about movement art? "It's what my body wants to do" 31:23 Alive moments with the audience; being with the people that night -- my favorite thing 34:08 "What it is tonight"; "What's here right now?" 39:05 Enneagram boxiness vs aliveness -- exploring Siena as an *artist* reveals her 8 gifts; exploring Siena as an *8* lends to caricature 42:58 Being in the river; quality of stillness 43:55 What does it feel like when the search (for aliveness) isn't going well? 47:05 Legs 51:32 This moment feels really beautiful 56:42 Why do we forget to be present? 58:47 Picking fights -- what's it like? why does it happen? 1:05:47 Mystery of fighting -- sometimes useful, sometimes not; over- and under-expressing anger 1:08:24 "My body gets so hot inside so fast"; Hard to sit with the anger; 2 stories - retail, & guy with a dog 1:12:39 Inner work for 8; expanding window of tolerance for the heat, not being run by the reflex 1:18:21 Innocence of the 8 1:19:39 What was this like for you? 1:21:26 Birth story -- fighting for my life 1:25:14 When I feel received, I can receive 1:26:41 Final thoughts & thank yous -- #enneagram #enneagram8 #enneagramtypes #enneagrameight #enneagramtype8 --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Siena Hassett [SX/SO 8w7 827] is a Theatre Maker, Movement Artist, and someone who really embodies the virtue of the 8 -- Innocence: the joyful unselfconscious expression of one's life-force, and the willingness to be affected by one's environment. Siena is so alive and engaging, and I couldn't help but be moved by her wide open presence in this conversation. I really appreciate how we moved from "caricaturing" her 8ness in the first 15 minutes to unveiling her real sensitivity and heart, especially as we explore her relationship to her art -- and how we navigated that transition together. I'm very proud to release this conversation. This is what it's all about. Enjoy. https://sienahassett.com/ www.theenneagramschool.com www.joshlavine.com Listen as podcast: https://www.joshlavine.com/podcasts/what-it-s-like-to-be-you/episodes/2148078776 --- Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:54 Open ended start: what's your type and why is it true? "Going through the object" 7:10 8 connection to action 11:20 Fear of "deadness," Amping up the situation 15:11 Taking a minute; new direction: life story from college 20:13 Movement art; why apply to corporeal mime school? 21:44 Professor: "I miss having you cry in class." 23:33 Radical decision, moving for this program; "It's what the work needed," SX instinct 26:45 Program before/after, sense of ease, freedom 29:22 Why so passionate about movement art? "It's what my body wants to do" 31:23 Alive moments with the audience; being with the people that night -- my favorite thing 34:08 "What it is tonight"; "What's here right now?" 39:05 Enneagram boxiness vs aliveness -- exploring Siena as an *artist* reveals her 8 gifts; exploring Siena as an *8* lends to caricature 42:58 Being in the river; quality of stillness 43:55 What does it feel like when the search (for aliveness) isn't going well? 47:05 Legs 51:32 This moment feels really beautiful 56:42 Why do we forget to be present? 58:47 Picking fights -- what's it like? why does it happen? 1:05:47 Mystery of fighting -- sometimes useful, sometimes not; over- and under-expressing anger 1:08:24 "My body gets so hot inside so fast"; Hard to sit with the anger; 2 stories - retail, & guy with a dog 1:12:39 Inner work for 8; expanding window of tolerance for the heat, not being run by the reflex 1:18:21 Innocence of the 8 1:19:39 What was this like for you? 1:21:26 Birth story -- fighting for my life 1:25:14 When I feel received, I can receive 1:26:41 Final thoughts & thank yous -- #enneagram #enneagram8 #enneagramtypes #enneagrameight #enneagramtype8 --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Alexandra Arroyo-Acevedo [SO/SP 9w1 963] is a brilliant Enneagram thinker with a very evocative and inspiring triple attachment life story. There's no one I trust more to explain Attachment from the inside. Alexandra's insights have been transformative for me, and for many in our community. Find her on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast, on YouTube doing Enneagram breakdowns of the Bachelorette, and on her website, where you can book a natal chart reading with her as well. Alexandra's Website: http://saturnruled9.com/ Alexandra's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saturnruled9 Big Hormone Enneagram Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/big-hormone-enneagram/id1493756268 The Enneagram School: www.theenneagramschool.com Josh Lavine: www.joshlavine.com Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/EhHqHEIJdqU Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:49 Attachment Support Group Plug 6:03 What happened the first time we tried this interview 10:05 What's different now? 13:23 The importance of being witnessed in playful unself-conscious states 17:08 Prompt: Alexandra's life story as an SO Bermuda 9 18:56 I was passively accepting, not "choosing" friends / romantic partners 20:42 "Who am I to say no?" - absence of red flags, not looking for green flags; unpacking the word “danger” 24:43 Ex-fiance was "safe"; passively accepted his proposal (!); Attachment: saying yes to the possibility that we could one day be on the same page 29:50 Social 9 -- Not revealing my full mind when others' eyes gloss over; my inner self not a match for my environment, so I don't put it out there; why 9 needs to go to 3 35:22 Attachment victimhood self-deception: "You're not making space for me" vs I'm withholding myself 37:24 Prolonging relationship: "I was really good at dividing myself” 39:03 The "atomic bomb,” meeting John; Alexandra's self-revival through online chats about Enneagram; going to New York “the first real action ever took for myself;” framing it to myself as "It's no big deal, if it doesn't work out, I'll just come back home" preemptive defense against being affected 46:20 Numbness prevents 9 from realizing how hungry their soul is; lifeforce has intelligence independent of personality re: what's nourishing / renewing for it 50:58 The lightning strike moment, radical (fast!) change, and the illusion that I've conquered attachment 57:01 How Attachment patterns crept back in 1:00:45 Being anchored to a new rung on the consciousness ladder; not wanting to abandon your new self-sense 1:02:48 Ambivalence toward astrology from being pinned as an "astrology person" -- private sacred interest now exposed to gaze that revs attachment/performance engine 1:08:55 The "practice" of unself-conscious play 1:10:28 Autonomy insistence of 9; making free choices without pressure; knowing that a choice is "mine," made by me 1:13:59 John's mirroring of me to myself, yet constantly re-attuning to what I'm excited by 1:19:05 Social intimacy, choosing and being chosen from your constituted center, grief about emotionally distant friendships, that pattern changing 1:27:41 Sweet Friendship moments 1:30:47 What's this been like? (& how long it took to get this interview, ha!; sign off) --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Alexandra Arroyo-Acevedo [SO/SP 9w1 963] is a brilliant Enneagram thinker with a very evocative and inspiring triple attachment life story. There's no one I trust more to explain Attachment from the inside. Alexandra's insights have been transformative for me, and for many in our community. Find her on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast, on YouTube doing Enneagram breakdowns of the Bachelorette, and on her website, where you can book a natal chart reading with her as well. Alexandra's Website: http://saturnruled9.com/ Alexandra's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saturnruled9 Big Hormone Enneagram Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/big-hormone-enneagram/id1493756268 The Enneagram School: www.theenneagramschool.com Josh Lavine: www.joshlavine.com Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/EhHqHEIJdqU Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:49 Attachment Support Group Plug 6:03 What happened the first time we tried this interview 10:05 What's different now? 13:23 The importance of being witnessed in playful unself-conscious states 17:08 Prompt: Alexandra's life story as an SO Bermuda 9 18:56 I was passively accepting, not "choosing" friends / romantic partners 20:42 "Who am I to say no?" - absence of red flags, not looking for green flags; unpacking the word “danger” 24:43 Ex-fiance was "safe"; passively accepted his proposal (!); Attachment: saying yes to the possibility that we could one day be on the same page 29:50 Social 9 -- Not revealing my full mind when others' eyes gloss over; my inner self not a match for my environment, so I don't put it out there; why 9 needs to go to 3 35:22 Attachment victimhood self-deception: "You're not making space for me" vs I'm withholding myself 37:24 Prolonging relationship: "I was really good at dividing myself” 39:03 The "atomic bomb,” meeting John; Alexandra's self-revival through online chats about Enneagram; going to New York “the first real action ever took for myself;” framing it to myself as "It's no big deal, if it doesn't work out, I'll just come back home" preemptive defense against being affected 46:20 Numbness prevents 9 from realizing how hungry their soul is; lifeforce has intelligence independent of personality re: what's nourishing / renewing for it 50:58 The lightning strike moment, radical (fast!) change, and the illusion that I've conquered attachment 57:01 How Attachment patterns crept back in 1:00:45 Being anchored to a new rung on the consciousness ladder; not wanting to abandon your new self-sense 1:02:48 Ambivalence toward astrology from being pinned as an "astrology person" -- private sacred interest now exposed to gaze that revs attachment/performance engine 1:08:55 The "practice" of unself-conscious play 1:10:28 Autonomy insistence of 9; making free choices without pressure; knowing that a choice is "mine," made by me 1:13:59 John's mirroring of me to myself, yet constantly re-attuning to what I'm excited by 1:19:05 Social intimacy, choosing and being chosen from your constituted center, grief about emotionally distant friendships, that pattern changing 1:27:41 Sweet Friendship moments 1:30:47 What's this been like? (& how long it took to get this interview, ha!; sign off) --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Kristen Oberly [SO/SP 9w1 963] is an exceptionally gifted dream analyst, artist, and guide for the unconscious realm. We explore her misdiagnosis with paranoid schizophrenia, her bouts with depersonalization, and the way she has come back home to herself by following her fascination with the unconscious. A very interesting and particular case of Social Bermuda 9, but the core 9 themes are certainly here: numbness, dissociation, and coming back to life by following the natural flow of my life force. To Find Kristen – Personal Website: https://www.inkstoryrebel.com/Sinsomnia Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/cz/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 Josh's Links – www.theenneagramschool.comwww.joshlavine.com Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Cr6-ZCd6z-Y Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 5:27 When two bermudas meet; You've made a spash; original contributions: dreams, trifix art -- SO tracking "how people earn respect in this group," getting typed 9:48 Lurking in groups; do you feel like one now? "in shock" that my contribution went anywhere 12:55 Interview anchor points: typing, misdiagnosis paranoid schizophrenia; depersonalization; living in "alternate dimension" 15:22 "She's in her own little world" growing up; hallucinations 19:40 What is paranoid schizophrenia?; relief in diagnosis, being located, "this is what I am," a thing to tell others 23:11 "Betrayal of all 3 centers" 26:10 Timeline of diagnosis & symptoms; what's depersonalization? 32:10 9-ness and depersonalization 35:35 What's helped? 37:30 Guinea pigs screaming -- a dream example that helped you come home to your body 42:31 Physical reality not affecting me, but unconscious dream world waking me up (literally) 45:02 Toggling on/off of existing; checking out 48:05 Genuine inspiration of dreams calling you back alive; Avatar Kristen, interfacing spirit world and physical reality 54:12 SO 9 - fear of making others uncomfortable? 58:38 Kristen's flow state; mastery & precision, poking the nerve, freedom from typology in her moments of interpreting dreams 1:04:52 Kristen's dark witchy vibe & "bite" contrasted with "harmonious" 9 vibe 1:10:16 Kristen's 9 Bermuda Swirl vs Josh's 3 version 1:15:48 Kristen's Art Bermuda Swirl, honing in on "archetypal" art 1:19:46 The Bermuda Swirl's Intelligence 1:26:37 What's this been like? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Kristen Oberly [SO/SP 9w1 963] is an exceptionally gifted dream analyst, artist, and guide for the unconscious realm. We explore her misdiagnosis with paranoid schizophrenia, her bouts with depersonalization, and the way she has come back home to herself by following her fascination with the unconscious. A very interesting and particular case of Social Bermuda 9, but the core 9 themes are certainly here: numbness, dissociation, and coming back to life by following the natural flow of my life force. To Find Kristen – Personal Website: https://www.inkstoryrebel.com/Sinsomnia Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/cz/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994 Josh's Links – www.theenneagramschool.comwww.joshlavine.com Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Cr6-ZCd6z-Y Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 5:27 When two bermudas meet; You've made a spash; original contributions: dreams, trifix art -- SO tracking "how people earn respect in this group," getting typed 9:48 Lurking in groups; do you feel like one now? "in shock" that my contribution went anywhere 12:55 Interview anchor points: typing, misdiagnosis paranoid schizophrenia; depersonalization; living in "alternate dimension" 15:22 "She's in her own little world" growing up; hallucinations 19:40 What is paranoid schizophrenia?; relief in diagnosis, being located, "this is what I am," a thing to tell others 23:11 "Betrayal of all 3 centers" 26:10 Timeline of diagnosis & symptoms; what's depersonalization? 32:10 9-ness and depersonalization 35:35 What's helped? 37:30 Guinea pigs screaming -- a dream example that helped you come home to your body 42:31 Physical reality not affecting me, but unconscious dream world waking me up (literally) 45:02 Toggling on/off of existing; checking out 48:05 Genuine inspiration of dreams calling you back alive; Avatar Kristen, interfacing spirit world and physical reality 54:12 SO 9 - fear of making others uncomfortable? 58:38 Kristen's flow state; mastery & precision, poking the nerve, freedom from typology in her moments of interpreting dreams 1:04:52 Kristen's dark witchy vibe & "bite" contrasted with "harmonious" 9 vibe 1:10:16 Kristen's 9 Bermuda Swirl vs Josh's 3 version 1:15:48 Kristen's Art Bermuda Swirl, honing in on "archetypal" art 1:19:46 The Bermuda Swirl's Intelligence 1:26:37 What's this been like? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Round 2 with Sarah [SO/SP 9w1 937]. A conversation ABOUT our last conversation, and a very personal look at both of our attachment games. I loved this. Josh's Links: www.theenneagramschool.com www.joshlavine.com Sarah's Links: Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0ttrZbIpLCXW7hjanhv7H8 Music: https://slagoona.bandcamp.com/ Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x6KJ6TppG3LC9ySqFDLOs Insta: https://www.instagram.com/slagoona_/ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vaZ95yqyUSg Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:29 Setting up the convo -- why we're here 7:56 First clip 9:53 Sarah pauses. "Floating on the river of meaning" swirling & managing the swirls 15:36 Second clip 16:45 Josh pauses. The moment I almost interrupted, and Sarah feels it. 17:38 More clip 20:16 Sarah pauses. Sarah's SO/SP "preachiness," desire to embrace universal themes 23:27 Sarah: "I kept going because I wasn't sure if you agreed with me" 25:54 "It's all good babe just hold on!" 27:11 The need to have all parts of me known and held (9) 29:48 More clip -- The Shift moment 31:13 Josh pauses. His skepticism that Sarah was connected to herself 33:22 Sarah: the insecurity around being perceived as insincere; calling out 9 dispersion 34:59 SO 9 desperation for social holding; Schema: want social holding -- don't get it -- disperse & numb -- harder to feel if/when I get held now 40:58 You want holding from me, but also you're angry with me -- Attachment games 44:59 Sarah getting social holding back by playing into my frame, "impressing me" 48:54 More clip -- Sarah: "I felt like I was being called a phony" 50:18 More clip -- Josh's "unskillful question" 54:20 Josh takes a breath -- his attachment pattern alive right now 59:09 More clip: "I'm saying what I think you want me to say" 1:00:28 Sarah's desire for more bobble-headedness (familiar social holding); Josh's reflex to self-recrimination when I made someone angry, "what could I have done better?" -- that question being self-abandoning in service of re-attachment strategy!; Josh's version of sarah's "cozying up" 1:06:00 The last 3 min; "I feel like I passed your test" 1:09:27 Attachment 101: Rupture and Repair Cycles; Complexity around Sincerity 1:11:12 Final moments of the interview & the necessity of *this* conversation to complete the repair 1:15:51 What is trust? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Round 2 with Sarah [SO/SP 9w1 937]. A conversation ABOUT our last conversation, and a very personal look at both of our attachment games. I loved this. Josh's Links: www.theenneagramschool.com www.joshlavine.com Sarah's Links: Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0ttrZbIpLCXW7hjanhv7H8 Music: https://slagoona.bandcamp.com/ Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x6KJ6TppG3LC9ySqFDLOs Insta: https://www.instagram.com/slagoona_/ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vaZ95yqyUSg Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:29 Setting up the convo -- why we're here 7:56 First clip 9:53 Sarah pauses. "Floating on the river of meaning" swirling & managing the swirls 15:36 Second clip 16:45 Josh pauses. The moment I almost interrupted, and Sarah feels it. 17:38 More clip 20:16 Sarah pauses. Sarah's SO/SP "preachiness," desire to embrace universal themes 23:27 Sarah: "I kept going because I wasn't sure if you agreed with me" 25:54 "It's all good babe just hold on!" 27:11 The need to have all parts of me known and held (9) 29:48 More clip -- The Shift moment 31:13 Josh pauses. His skepticism that Sarah was connected to herself 33:22 Sarah: the insecurity around being perceived as insincere; calling out 9 dispersion 34:59 SO 9 desperation for social holding; Schema: want social holding -- don't get it -- disperse & numb -- harder to feel if/when I get held now 40:58 You want holding from me, but also you're angry with me -- Attachment games 44:59 Sarah getting social holding back by playing into my frame, "impressing me" 48:54 More clip -- Sarah: "I felt like I was being called a phony" 50:18 More clip -- Josh's "unskillful question" 54:20 Josh takes a breath -- his attachment pattern alive right now 59:09 More clip: "I'm saying what I think you want me to say" 1:00:28 Sarah's desire for more bobble-headedness (familiar social holding); Josh's reflex to self-recrimination when I made someone angry, "what could I have done better?" -- that question being self-abandoning in service of re-attachment strategy!; Josh's version of sarah's "cozying up" 1:06:00 The last 3 min; "I feel like I passed your test" 1:09:27 Attachment 101: Rupture and Repair Cycles; Complexity around Sincerity 1:11:12 Final moments of the interview & the necessity of *this* conversation to complete the repair 1:15:51 What is trust? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Sarah [SO/SP 9w1 937] is getting her PhD in psychology en route to becoming a therapist. In this conversation, Sarah is quite open and courageous in sharing what it's like for her on the inside of her "swirly 9-7 stem" energy and speaking style and her positive outlook vibes. We also how she accidentally gaslights partners without knowing it, because of how she can blur inner fantasy with outer reality. (I love this part.) We also hit a really interesting conversational glitch that put both of our type patterns on display. We unpack this in a follow up conversation, so stay tuned for round 2. Josh's Links:www.theenneagramschool.comwww.joshlavine.com Sarah's Links:Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0ttrZbIpLCXW7hjanhv7H8Music: https://slagoona.bandcamp.com/Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x6KJ6TppG3LC9ySqFDLOsInsta: https://www.instagram.com/slagoona_/ Watch Interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g6kqGXegvB0 Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:16 Getting typed, Sarah's typing journey 12:35 Positive outlook of Sarah's 9-7 stem; the facebook group's reaction to her "was an emotional event" 15:56 3 fix, wanting to be / be seen as competent, "let me join the cool kids," show people I can hang 20:02 Sarah's swirling inner cauldron of associations speaking style 22:22 One reason 9s identify as 4 23:23 Eating disorder, psychological function of controlling my attractiveness... but being labeled "sexual blind"; beauty standards more social than sexual 25:39 Why are you a 9 and not a 4? Attachment 29:14 Tone policing as SO 9w1 "asking" the environment to hold me better (socially) 30:24 Attachment to disconnect in long-term relationship; Fantasy & wanting/hoping others will show up differently 36:16 Anger as "no," finding your no 39:12 Positive Outlook "spin"; "People can't worry about me" -- I have to be okay; performative empathy/positivity "vs" sincere optimism 45:42 Unprocessed negativity comes out in close relationships (mom, partner); "I would save that all for them"; the Security Point 53:50 The fantasy image of a relationship, blurring fantasy and reality 57:17 Gaslighting & fantasy; the little girl hoping, "maybe maybe maybe," wishing reality will manifest my fantasy; "But it's always been this way" in my mind 1:03:20 The moment: How are you feeling right now? A disconnect -- a splash, a disruption of the social groove ... and the next few minutes, navigating this 1:05:34 I need others to be listening to me well, so I can be clear in my thinking 1:09:31 Saturated in presence vs dispersed 1:14:29 Power being grounded, concentrated, or "up" and dispersed; tapering 1:18:47 Sarah expressing anger at me! (yes!) 1:20:36 Tapering demo; attachment dynamic: building bridges to others' inner worlds, not trusting they'll want to come to mine 1:23:26 The pain of separating, having melded into this conversation. A mini grief. --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Sarah [SO/SP 9w1 937] is getting her PhD in psychology en route to becoming a therapist. In this conversation, Sarah is quite open and courageous in sharing what it's like for her on the inside of her "swirly 9-7 stem" energy and speaking style and her positive outlook vibes. We also how she accidentally gaslights partners without knowing it, because of how she can blur inner fantasy with outer reality. (I love this part.) We also hit a really interesting conversational glitch that put both of our type patterns on display. We unpack this in a follow up conversation, so stay tuned for round 2. Josh's Links:www.theenneagramschool.comwww.joshlavine.com Sarah's Links:Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0ttrZbIpLCXW7hjanhv7H8Music: https://slagoona.bandcamp.com/Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x6KJ6TppG3LC9ySqFDLOsInsta: https://www.instagram.com/slagoona_/ Watch Interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g6kqGXegvB0 Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:16 Getting typed, Sarah's typing journey 12:35 Positive outlook of Sarah's 9-7 stem; the facebook group's reaction to her "was an emotional event" 15:56 3 fix, wanting to be / be seen as competent, "let me join the cool kids," show people I can hang 20:02 Sarah's swirling inner cauldron of associations speaking style 22:22 One reason 9s identify as 4 23:23 Eating disorder, psychological function of controlling my attractiveness... but being labeled "sexual blind"; beauty standards more social than sexual 25:39 Why are you a 9 and not a 4? Attachment 29:14 Tone policing as SO 9w1 "asking" the environment to hold me better (socially) 30:24 Attachment to disconnect in long-term relationship; Fantasy & wanting/hoping others will show up differently 36:16 Anger as "no," finding your no 39:12 Positive Outlook "spin"; "People can't worry about me" -- I have to be okay; performative empathy/positivity "vs" sincere optimism 45:42 Unprocessed negativity comes out in close relationships (mom, partner); "I would save that all for them"; the Security Point 53:50 The fantasy image of a relationship, blurring fantasy and reality 57:17 Gaslighting & fantasy; the little girl hoping, "maybe maybe maybe," wishing reality will manifest my fantasy; "But it's always been this way" in my mind 1:03:20 The moment: How are you feeling right now? A disconnect -- a splash, a disruption of the social groove ... and the next few minutes, navigating this 1:05:34 I need others to be listening to me well, so I can be clear in my thinking 1:09:31 Saturated in presence vs dispersed 1:14:29 Power being grounded, concentrated, or "up" and dispersed; tapering 1:18:47 Sarah expressing anger at me! (yes!) 1:20:36 Tapering demo; attachment dynamic: building bridges to others' inner worlds, not trusting they'll want to come to mine 1:23:26 The pain of separating, having melded into this conversation. A mini grief. --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Emily [SO/SP 8w9 836] is a beautiful example of a heart-forward 8 who has done significant inner work and values her sensitivity. We get into what it means to be in a social "power position," why that's important for her, and what it means to value her vulnerability, among other things. Really good, high resolution introspection. Emily graduated from Yale undergrad and Oxford business school. She also rowed on the Irish national team. She currently works in a purpose-driven startup bringing smoother money transfer services to Africa and beyond. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/TkPCccFhjqU www.theenneagramschool.com www.joshlavine.com --- Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 0:43 Setting up the convo 3:49 Enneagram origin story; mistyping as 7; skepticism about Enneagram 10:27 8 Basic Fear & Desire, feeling "uncomfortably seen" 11:51 Leaning on being sought after socially; & the self-protection of being in a "power up posiiton" 15:21 the fear of being at the mercy of someone else's control; coming back to self-trust 16:51 Being protective of others; feeling "compelled" into action; "Rallying of every atom in my being" 19:34 Developing discernment, “letting go" when activated, what makes that hard 21:59 Feeling supported when others give their "truly honest opinion"; doing this for others 25:59 Picnic story - calling out a misogynistic joke 30:14 margaritas and bicycle story - "My independence is untouchable by you" 36:03 The appeal of doing a startup; Being alive through "Exerting your creative life force into the world through the lens of business" 41:19 need to feel like i'm on the edge of win or lose 42:04 solo training for a marathon, ice baths, pushing body to limits 43:28 Tough leadership lessons in sports and business 48:21 "I'm a sensitive person," friendship and vulnerability; my vulnerability is valuable 53:15 Why did you say yes to this? 55:16 Plugs! 56:10 Outro -- #enneagram #enneagram8 #enneagramtypes #enneagrameight #enneagramtype8 --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Emily [SO/SP 8w9 836] is a beautiful example of a heart-forward 8 who has done significant inner work and values her sensitivity. We get into what it means to be in a social "power position," why that's important for her, and what it means to value her vulnerability, among other things. Really good, high resolution introspection. Emily graduated from Yale undergrad and Oxford business school. She also rowed on the Irish national team. She currently works in a purpose-driven startup bringing smoother money transfer services to Africa and beyond. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/TkPCccFhjqU www.theenneagramschool.com www.joshlavine.com --- Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 0:43 Setting up the convo 3:49 Enneagram origin story; mistyping as 7; skepticism about Enneagram 10:27 8 Basic Fear & Desire, feeling "uncomfortably seen" 11:51 Leaning on being sought after socially; & the self-protection of being in a "power up posiiton" 15:21 the fear of being at the mercy of someone else's control; coming back to self-trust 16:51 Being protective of others; feeling "compelled" into action; "Rallying of every atom in my being" 19:34 Developing discernment, “letting go" when activated, what makes that hard 21:59 Feeling supported when others give their "truly honest opinion"; doing this for others 25:59 Picnic story - calling out a misogynistic joke 30:14 margaritas and bicycle story - "My independence is untouchable by you" 36:03 The appeal of doing a startup; Being alive through "Exerting your creative life force into the world through the lens of business" 41:19 need to feel like i'm on the edge of win or lose 42:04 solo training for a marathon, ice baths, pushing body to limits 43:28 Tough leadership lessons in sports and business 48:21 "I'm a sensitive person," friendship and vulnerability; my vulnerability is valuable 53:15 Why did you say yes to this? 55:16 Plugs! 56:10 Outro -- #enneagram #enneagram8 #enneagramtypes #enneagrameight #enneagramtype8 --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/
Czan [SO/SP 9w1 953] is a software engineer for a gaming company and currently lives in the US. He's an original Enneagram thinker, and "Attachment to Disconnect" is his profound insight into how Attachment types create situations to continue reaching for connection, rather than stably connecting. Czan has experience with various inner work modalities and has excellent insights about being an Enneagram 9. I'll add that I experienced his 5 fix vividly in this conversation, which you'll see in the way Czan maintains intellectual separateness. --- Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:32 Enneagram Origin Story 5:14 Twice an immigrant; adapting to new cultures; 5 fix figuring it out by myself; trauma from this pattern -- no one here like me; "The resolution needs to come in community"; Immigrant as metaphor for attachment 11:34 What grabbed you about the Enneagram? Mistyping as 5; Wanting to talk about the Enneagram without talking about the Enneagram 14:51 NOT an Ennea-vangelist; refuting Josh's suggestion that finding universal language is an attachment dynamic 17:10 Attachment vs Social & desire for belonging? Czan's idea: "The Existential Object" for 4, 5, & 9 20:30 Czan's loud 5-fix, not absorbing others' orientation; couldn't be an academic bc need to converse with other scholars 23:56 So why are you a 9, not a 5?; Czan's theory, 9's seeking "existence" in the world, 5's not 28:10 Toggling on and off; "when I'm observing, nothing's going on inside" 30:18 Dissociating -- when things "start to get muffled"; "Existing" or not existing in relationship 36:03 Merging with others, taking on their discomfort; Best thing I could do for my parents as a kid was "be okay" and not need a lot 37:54 Taking on mom's (& others') emotional burden; I'm helping them carry their heavy luggage, not realizing I have a limit to my emotional capacity 39:14 Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Psychedelics 42:01 The metaconversation (!); paradox 9 relational merging & 5 intellectual independence; Czan's 5 fix "vs" Josh's 6 fix 49:24 Josh's object relations theory & the body center 55:44 Ayahuasca and Owl Medicine; not opening to overwhelm or closing myself off, but preening and holding myself as I move through the world 1:00:26 Reflections; 9's virtue of engagement; taking responsibility for washing myself, so I can stay open to be affected by things, to live 1:03:42 Not wasting anger, taking care of "the mud in me," and "using it to grow lotus flowers"; creativity, passion 1:10:16 Attachment to Disconnect 1:13:57 Fitness, getting into my body, trying to "live" the Enneagram and not just cerebralize it --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
Czan [SO/SP 9w1 953] is a software engineer for a gaming company and currently lives in the US. He's an original Enneagram thinker, and "Attachment to Disconnect" is his profound insight into how Attachment types create situations to continue reaching for connection, rather than stably connecting. Czan has experience with various inner work modalities and has excellent insights about being an Enneagram 9. I'll add that I experienced his 5 fix vividly in this conversation, which you'll see in the way Czan maintains intellectual separateness. --- Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:32 Enneagram Origin Story 5:14 Twice an immigrant; adapting to new cultures; 5 fix figuring it out by myself; trauma from this pattern -- no one here like me; "The resolution needs to come in community"; Immigrant as metaphor for attachment 11:34 What grabbed you about the Enneagram? Mistyping as 5; Wanting to talk about the Enneagram without talking about the Enneagram 14:51 NOT an Ennea-vangelist; refuting Josh's suggestion that finding universal language is an attachment dynamic 17:10 Attachment vs Social & desire for belonging? Czan's idea: "The Existential Object" for 4, 5, & 9 20:30 Czan's loud 5-fix, not absorbing others' orientation; couldn't be an academic bc need to converse with other scholars 23:56 So why are you a 9, not a 5?; Czan's theory, 9's seeking "existence" in the world, 5's not 28:10 Toggling on and off; "when I'm observing, nothing's going on inside" 30:18 Dissociating -- when things "start to get muffled"; "Existing" or not existing in relationship 36:03 Merging with others, taking on their discomfort; Best thing I could do for my parents as a kid was "be okay" and not need a lot 37:54 Taking on mom's (& others') emotional burden; I'm helping them carry their heavy luggage, not realizing I have a limit to my emotional capacity 39:14 Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Psychedelics 42:01 The metaconversation (!); paradox 9 relational merging & 5 intellectual independence; Czan's 5 fix "vs" Josh's 6 fix 49:24 Josh's object relations theory & the body center 55:44 Ayahuasca and Owl Medicine; not opening to overwhelm or closing myself off, but preening and holding myself as I move through the world 1:00:26 Reflections; 9's virtue of engagement; taking responsibility for washing myself, so I can stay open to be affected by things, to live 1:03:42 Not wasting anger, taking care of "the mud in me," and "using it to grow lotus flowers"; creativity, passion 1:10:16 Attachment to Disconnect 1:13:57 Fitness, getting into my body, trying to "live" the Enneagram and not just cerebralize it --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w1
TRIGGER WARNING: sensitive content. Nancy Walter (SP/SO 3w4 369) is a co-host on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast and is currently navigating graduate school in genetics. In this extremely candid interview, we talk about Nancy's childhood, wrestling with severe depression and mental health issues (possibly undiagnosed autism, according to her), her self-discovery through competence in knife salesmanship and sugaring, and the road trip that cemented her choice to live. Enjoy! https://www.joshlavine.com/ https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ YouTube version of Interview: https://youtu.be/u4WTC0GM8lI Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:51 Interview Start -- Childhood depression, mental health, and the road trip that changed everything 7:18 Putting on a show" for my therapist at 15 yrs old; fooling the therapist 14:18 The Road Trip & 3-ness - poetic, redemptive, rejuvenating; being by yourself, outside others' expectations 16:44 When the fog began to lift, and I began to "choose to be here" 19:18 Selling cutting knives and going "full 3", then getting sick & having to quit 22:54 New desk job at gun store 24:42 Selling knives giving Nancy a chance to feel good at something; contrasting Josh's 3 story with Nancy's; Nancy's mental health condition delaying her 3-ness 27:27 Quitting selling knives -- framed as an act of self-care, rebellion against sexist workplace, "I wanna do something I wanna do." 32:47 Sugaring and 3-ness; being good at making old white men like me & pay me; becoming another person for 4 hours, then going home -- in an empowering way 39:12 The joy of "identity experiments"; self-discovery in sugaring 43:45 On how important it is for 3s to feel good at something 46:48 Grief on the road trip; SP looking for home, leading back to yourself; 3s need to find themselves alone in their silence 50:56 Discovering authentic self through performative relationship; following your nose about what I'm good at 55:38 Josh's bermuda questions 58:14 Choosing life path after the road trip? discovering I want to go to school, despite "I don't need school!" 3 persona/image. 1:03:34 Reconstituting identity to "fit this in" -- wanting to go to school 1:05:23 Practicals of going back to school; discovering I love science, want to study genetics 1:10:52 Living from "I like this!" instead of "I'm good at this" now 1:13:05 Now back in Virginia; "Fix first, then mourn" 1:14:53 What's this been like for you? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview
TRIGGER WARNING: sensitive content. Nancy Walter (SP/SO 3w4 369) is a co-host on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast and is currently navigating graduate school in genetics. In this extremely candid interview, we talk about Nancy's childhood, wrestling with severe depression and mental health issues (possibly undiagnosed autism, according to her), her self-discovery through competence in knife salesmanship and sugaring, and the road trip that cemented her choice to live. Enjoy! https://www.joshlavine.com/ https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ YouTube version of Interview: https://youtu.be/u4WTC0GM8lI Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 3:51 Interview Start -- Childhood depression, mental health, and the road trip that changed everything 7:18 Putting on a show" for my therapist at 15 yrs old; fooling the therapist 14:18 The Road Trip & 3-ness - poetic, redemptive, rejuvenating; being by yourself, outside others' expectations 16:44 When the fog began to lift, and I began to "choose to be here" 19:18 Selling cutting knives and going "full 3", then getting sick & having to quit 22:54 New desk job at gun store 24:42 Selling knives giving Nancy a chance to feel good at something; contrasting Josh's 3 story with Nancy's; Nancy's mental health condition delaying her 3-ness 27:27 Quitting selling knives -- framed as an act of self-care, rebellion against sexist workplace, "I wanna do something I wanna do." 32:47 Sugaring and 3-ness; being good at making old white men like me & pay me; becoming another person for 4 hours, then going home -- in an empowering way 39:12 The joy of "identity experiments"; self-discovery in sugaring 43:45 On how important it is for 3s to feel good at something 46:48 Grief on the road trip; SP looking for home, leading back to yourself; 3s need to find themselves alone in their silence 50:56 Discovering authentic self through performative relationship; following your nose about what I'm good at 55:38 Josh's bermuda questions 58:14 Choosing life path after the road trip? discovering I want to go to school, despite "I don't need school!" 3 persona/image. 1:03:34 Reconstituting identity to "fit this in" -- wanting to go to school 1:05:23 Practicals of going back to school; discovering I love science, want to study genetics 1:10:52 Living from "I like this!" instead of "I'm good at this" now 1:13:05 Now back in Virginia; "Fix first, then mourn" 1:14:53 What's this been like for you? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview
Charles is a 42 year old father of four that's been married for more than half his life. He's started multiple businesses and currently runs a small internet marketing and web agency. He self-describes as a “body type that speaks from the gut while trying to make social connections.” In this interview, we explore what his 8 “rejection” wing does to his core 9 attachment, his meandering, relaxed conversational style, and what it was like to realize that he's been operating on autopilot for over 20 years. (!!) We also explore his striking tattoos, the enlivening physicality of getting them, and the way they help him declare his location amidst the murky, triple attachment 9-land. An honest and open glimpse into the inner world of a 9w8. Note: there was an internet issue during recording, so Charles accidentally spoke over me a few times that I tried to ask a question. He wanted to note that he's not that obtuse :) -- he just couldn't hear. Timestamps 0:00 Intro 0:41 Plugs: Enneagram School & Expression Library 1:50 Intro to Charles; SO/SP 9w8 963 3:27 Interview Start 5:15 Charles' recent "resensitization" transformation; not crying for 20 years; autopilot 10:28 Josh's question and Charles' "off-road" response 12:33 Coming back to life; what's happened recently, resensitization; from numb to being flooded with emotions, randomly 17:29 Decades of putting myself aside, fulfilling "roles," being in the groove; setting up projections onto other people, resentments about pressure 22:59 The numb state; not noticing butterflies in my stomach; "shutting off" 27:39 What would other people notice if you're numb? 28:29 Feelings being too much for me; even good feelings; seeking the goldilocks state 32:09 Comparing 8, 9, 1's relationship to numbing 33:31 Tattoo's! -- locating myself & my positions, socially abrasive to my conservative neighborhood 39:03 The physical nature of getting tattoos; sensory awakening, un-numbing, bringing me back to life; some pain as "good" feeling 41:58 Using sense of smell more 43:37 Relationship with anger 48:19 Exploring the volume of Charles' voice 49:49 The meandering conversational style; outer swirling mimics inner swirling 54:17 Are you motivated to be more "focused" in your speaking? 58:44 A la David Gray: 8 wing giving 9 permission to be as 9 as it wants to be 1:02:56 What's this been like for you? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w8 #trifix
Charles is a 42 year old father of four that's been married for more than half his life. He's started multiple businesses and currently runs a small internet marketing and web agency. He self-describes as a “body type that speaks from the gut while trying to make social connections.” In this interview, we explore what his 8 “rejection” wing does to his core 9 attachment, his meandering, relaxed conversational style, and what it was like to realize that he's been operating on autopilot for over 20 years. (!!) We also explore his striking tattoos, the enlivening physicality of getting them, and the way they help him declare his location amidst the murky, triple attachment 9-land. An honest and open glimpse into the inner world of a 9w8. Note: there was an internet issue during recording, so Charles accidentally spoke over me a few times that I tried to ask a question. He wanted to note that he's not that obtuse :) -- he just couldn't hear. Timestamps 0:00 Intro 0:41 Plugs: Enneagram School & Expression Library 1:50 Intro to Charles; SO/SP 9w8 963 3:27 Interview Start 5:15 Charles' recent "resensitization" transformation; not crying for 20 years; autopilot 10:28 Josh's question and Charles' "off-road" response 12:33 Coming back to life; what's happened recently, resensitization; from numb to being flooded with emotions, randomly 17:29 Decades of putting myself aside, fulfilling "roles," being in the groove; setting up projections onto other people, resentments about pressure 22:59 The numb state; not noticing butterflies in my stomach; "shutting off" 27:39 What would other people notice if you're numb? 28:29 Feelings being too much for me; even good feelings; seeking the goldilocks state 32:09 Comparing 8, 9, 1's relationship to numbing 33:31 Tattoo's! -- locating myself & my positions, socially abrasive to my conservative neighborhood 39:03 The physical nature of getting tattoos; sensory awakening, un-numbing, bringing me back to life; some pain as "good" feeling 41:58 Using sense of smell more 43:37 Relationship with anger 48:19 Exploring the volume of Charles' voice 49:49 The meandering conversational style; outer swirling mimics inner swirling 54:17 Are you motivated to be more "focused" in your speaking? 58:44 A la David Gray: 8 wing giving 9 permission to be as 9 as it wants to be 1:02:56 What's this been like for you? --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview #9w8 #trifix
Kier is a trial lawyer, dad, and frequent commenter on Enneagram discussion boards like the Enneagrammer Universe Facebook group. This is our second conversation — we didn't publish the first one for reasons we explore in the interview. This is a really special conversation that captures a 3 (and 3w2, 358 trifix no less) freshly embarking on the journey of interior excavation, exploring his sensitivity, and asking questions like, “Why the secrecy?” “What am I really afraid of?” Really, really good stuff. Josh's websites: https://www.joshlavine.com/ https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ https://enneagramexpressions.com/ YouTube version of Interview: Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 0:30 Plugs: The Enneagram School & Enneagram Expressions Library 3:21 Intro to Kier 5:02 Interview Start 8:50 The email exchange btwn me and Kier; his desire to prepare, then softening towards having a more "spontaneously authentic" conversation 11:40 Difficulty with spontaneous authenticity; "I don't spend much time processing my internal state"; avoidance through activity 14:54 Mistyping as 8 & "Coming out as a 3"; Kier's childhood, family history of depression, a major car crash 19:16 Needing to be the strong one very young; didn't have a chance to be a vulnerable little kid; trained myself not to need what I wasn't getting 25:26 This being fresh / new territory for Kier; lots to excavate; my life set up to PREVENT excavation 30:08 ”Coming out as a 3" -- Kier's email; "I feel like a cat that's used up 7 lives already." "I'm just a bleeding heart type, I hope nobody notices” 32:42 What was it like to been seen through, and what's the nature of your sensitivity?; Sensitivity to being surprised, resistance to spontaneity... (image commentary here?) 38:22 Kier's softening over our email exchange; the importance for Kier of Josh letting Kier's concerns be okay 41:00 Hiddenness, secrecy, paranoia; ”The heart can be so easily denied"; "People can always thwart a 3's objective by refusing to give admiration” 46:20 Cultural dynamics regarding the Heart 51:44 3 as heart blind heart type being “part of the problem” 55:20 workaholism, being "human doing" 59:39 what would surface if you slowed down? are you motivated to keep digging? 1:03:50 Kier's "I'm not giving up speech" (see end) 1:08:37 The yolk 1:10:44 how are you feeling now? 1:13:55 More on conversational dynamics from last time 1:18:31 Thanks for pulling back the hood; we've done our job because it's uncomfortable 1:19:59 Kier's Oscar Winning "I'm Not Giving Up" Speech --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview
Kier is a trial lawyer, dad, and frequent commenter on Enneagram discussion boards like the Enneagrammer Universe Facebook group. This is our second conversation — we didn't publish the first one for reasons we explore in the interview. This is a really special conversation that captures a 3 (and 3w2, 358 trifix no less) freshly embarking on the journey of interior excavation, exploring his sensitivity, and asking questions like, “Why the secrecy?” “What am I really afraid of?” Really, really good stuff. Josh's websites: https://www.joshlavine.com/ https://www.theenneagramschool.com/ https://enneagramexpressions.com/ YouTube version of Interview: Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 0:30 Plugs: The Enneagram School & Enneagram Expressions Library 3:21 Intro to Kier 5:02 Interview Start 8:50 The email exchange btwn me and Kier; his desire to prepare, then softening towards having a more "spontaneously authentic" conversation 11:40 Difficulty with spontaneous authenticity; "I don't spend much time processing my internal state"; avoidance through activity 14:54 Mistyping as 8 & "Coming out as a 3"; Kier's childhood, family history of depression, a major car crash 19:16 Needing to be the strong one very young; didn't have a chance to be a vulnerable little kid; trained myself not to need what I wasn't getting 25:26 This being fresh / new territory for Kier; lots to excavate; my life set up to PREVENT excavation 30:08 ”Coming out as a 3" -- Kier's email; "I feel like a cat that's used up 7 lives already." "I'm just a bleeding heart type, I hope nobody notices” 32:42 What was it like to been seen through, and what's the nature of your sensitivity?; Sensitivity to being surprised, resistance to spontaneity... (image commentary here?) 38:22 Kier's softening over our email exchange; the importance for Kier of Josh letting Kier's concerns be okay 41:00 Hiddenness, secrecy, paranoia; ”The heart can be so easily denied"; "People can always thwart a 3's objective by refusing to give admiration” 46:20 Cultural dynamics regarding the Heart 51:44 3 as heart blind heart type being “part of the problem” 55:20 workaholism, being "human doing" 59:39 what would surface if you slowed down? are you motivated to keep digging? 1:03:50 Kier's "I'm not giving up speech" (see end) 1:08:37 The yolk 1:10:44 how are you feeling now? 1:13:55 More on conversational dynamics from last time 1:18:31 Thanks for pulling back the hood; we've done our job because it's uncomfortable 1:19:59 Kier's Oscar Winning "I'm Not Giving Up" Speech --- Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/ Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ --- #enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview
© 2020-2025 Ivy Podcast Discovery LLC
