Podcasts about dismount

This episode is part of our series on US Army Battle Drills. Stephen and Jacob will break down and explain US Army Battle Drills 12, 13, and 14 (Dismount, Mount, and Execute Action Right/Left in a BFV/ICV) found in Field Manual 3-21.8 (7-8). This series seeks to provide a more detailed explanation of Battle Drills and wade through some of the obscure information to help bridge the gap between US military tactical fundamentals and the "modern minuteman".   Resources "Battle Drills" FM 3-21.8 (ATP)   CONTACT US The best way to get a hold of us is to email us. We love hearing from you and we also love discussing details and helping where we can with specific or more nuanced questions. Please feel free to reach out. We'd love to talk to you! minutemen.initiative@gmail.com   HOW TO SUPPORT US & THE PODCAST Follow us on Instagram and YouTube! @Dynamic.Defense.Solutions  |  @Minutemen.Initiative  |  @Minutemen.Initiative (YouTube) We are passionate about training / education which is a major drive behind why we do the podcast, this same passion extends to our social media presence. We post high quality and in-depth educational content on our DDS instagram as well as our Podcast instagram.  Support us through our webstore: Dynamic Defense Solutions Webstore Use Discount Code: MINUTEMEN We thoroughly test and evaluate all the equipment we sell. If you see it for sale on our webstore then we personally back it and recommend it. We are always adding new products to our store that we believe supports the "Modern Minuteman" and that mission. We get asked often how people can support us and the podcast. Purchasing gear, equipment, holsters, and accessories from us directly supports DDS which makes the Minutemen Initiative podcast possible. We appreciate all of you who listen and greatly appreciate your support!  Thank you, Jacob & Stephen   INDUSTRY  COLLABORATIONS:  One Hundred Concepts Weblink w/ Discount: https://onehundredconcepts.com/DYNAMICDEFENSESOLUTIONS Discount Code: DYNAMICDEFENSESOLUTIONS If code is inactive or not working, please use the follwoing email to request you dicount: cs@onehundredconcepts.com 

#479 Breckebeiner USAT Winter Nats Welcome Welcome to Episode #479 of the 303 Endurance Podcast. We're your hosts Coaches Rich Soares and April Spilde. Thanks for joining us for another week of endurance news, coaching tips and discussion.  The Breckebeiner USAT Winter National Championship was last weekend in Breckenridge, Colorado and turned out to be the most fun you can have with all your clothes on.  I tell you what, Rich! I was nervous I wasn't going to be dressed warm enough. Man, was I wrong! When all was said and done, I was completely drenched and I'm glad I brought an extra change of clothes. Looking forward to our discussion later and sharing what we learned about this experience!   Show Sponsor: UCAN UCAN created LIVSTEADY as an alternative to sugar based nutrition products. LIVSTEADY was purposefully designed to work with your body, delivering long-lasting energy you can feel. Whether UCAN Energy Powders, Bars or Gels, LIVSTEADY's unique time-release profile allows your body to access energy consistently throughout the day, unlocking your natural ability to finish stronger and recover more quickly!    In Today's Show Announcements and News Ask a Coach: Winter Triathlon Training Tips  Get Gritty Tip: Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway! TriDot Workout of the Week - Rich Fun Segment: Quick Q&A    Announcements and News:   Champions Crowned at the 2025 USA Triathlon Winter National Championships in Colorado BRECKENRIDGE, Colo. - USA Triathlon kicked off the 2025 National Championships season on Feb. 15-16 at the USA Triathlon Winter National Championships in Breckenridge, Colorado, at The Breckebeiner. Athletes from across the U.S. raced the unique winter multisport format that combines running, biking and cross-country skiing, competing for national titles in the Winter Triathlon and Winter Duathlon National Championships. Athletes also raced to qualify for the 2026 World Triathlon Winter Championships.    Group Ride Schedule - March 1st pivot from Garden of the Gods Group Ride to Manitou Incline Group Hike.   Announcing Coaches Corner (aka Office Hours) with Coaches April Spilde and Rich Soares. Every 3rd Tuesday of the month. Link to March 18 Coaches Corner - https://www.facebook.com/share/15reK1J3m5/   Upcoming Programming - Our February focus will be on swimming. Mar. 1 - Run Intensity as HR, Pace, GAP and Power Mar. 3 6pm - Webinar with author and coach Matt Fitzgerald on his new book Chasing Mastery https://www.facebook.com/share/166xUjYuYp/ Mar. 15 - Run Drills to Become More Efficient and Powerful Mar. 22 - Trail and Snow Running Tips   Grit2Greatness Endurance Website and Social Media - Come check out our new coaching  Website - Grit2Greatness Endurance Coaching Facebook page @grit2greatnessendurance Ask A Coach Sponsor: G2G Endurance Hey triathletes, what if you could train smarter, not just harder? At Grit2Greatness Endurance Coaching, we've partnered with TriDot to give you the data-driven edge. No more guesswork—just custom workouts designed around YOU. Sign up through Coach April's or Coach Rich's TriDot links and start a 2-week free trial. Plans begin at $14.99/month and trust us—you'll feel the difference. Ready to step up your game? Click the sign-up link in our show notes and let's go! Ask A Coach: What did you learn at USAT Winter Nats? Even before last weekend's race, several of my friends and athletes that I coach knew I was going to participate in my first winter triathlon. There was a lot of curiosity before and since the post I've received a lot of continued curiosity and questions about what this event was all about and how to train for one. When I first proposed the idea for doing the Breckebeiner USAT National Championship for Winter Triathlon, I really didn't know what to expect. I know I had my own reasons for being on the fence initially, but I got swept up in the excitement and fun from the interview we did with Vic Brumfield and Liz Kollar from USAT.  Just as I was on the fence, I know this was not a “no brainer” “all in” decision for you initially and for the purpose of this discussion, you and I can unpack what our reservations may have been and contrast it with how we actually experienced this winter triathlon and share some recommendations for others, so they can experience it for themselves. Get Gritty Tip: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Fear isn't a stop sign—it's a signal that you're stepping into something meaningful. The fear of failure, judgment, or the unknown is what keeps most people stuck in the comfort zone. But here's the truth: waiting to feel "ready" is the fastest way to stay exactly where you are.  Courage isn't about eliminating fear. It's about moving forward despite it. That first open-water swim? That first race? That business move you've been avoiding? The fear won't disappear before you start—you must start *with it*. And once you do, fear loses its grip.   Challenge: Identify one thing you've been avoiding because of fear. Commit to taking one action toward it today. Don't wait for the fear to subside—prove to yourself that you can move through it.   Grit isn't about never feeling afraid. It's about showing up anyway. TriDot Workout of the Week:  “Big Gear Work” Session Note Perform this session on an indoor trainer. Perform all efforts in race position unless directed otherwise. Planned time in Z6 reflects squats. Time spent in Z5 on the bike automatically earns you equal time spent in Z6, as proxy for your squats since they cannot be tracked on your device.   Warmup 10 min @ Z2 with 2 x 30 sec (30 sec) Spinups and 3 x 1 min (1 min) @ Z4   Main Set Dismount 30 sec Squats (shoot for 1/second) 30 sec Isometric squat   Mount quickly w/o recovery 1 x 3 min @ Z5 in biggest gearing at 55-65 cadence 1 min @ Z2 before dismount   Dismount 45 sec Squats (shoot for 1/second) 60 sec Isometric squat   Mount quickly w/o recovery 2 x 1 min @ Z5 (60 sec) in biggest gearing at 55-65 cadence 1 min @ Z2 before dismount   Dismount 60 sec Squats 30 sec Isometric squat   Mount 5 min @ Z2 Balance of time @ Z2   Today's Fun Segment: Quick Q&A Sometimes I think we take for granted that our audience already knows who we are and what makes us tick, so this week I thought I'd throw in a fun “get-to-know-you” segment with a quick Q&A. So I'm going to ask you a couple of general and then a few personal questions! Don't worry, I'll share too

It's ABSOLUTELY Week 6 and I ABSOLUTELY saw Great Flips, Outstanding Twists and A DIsmount, I kinda learned what Flopping was and a whole lot of other meaningless stuff FLIP FLIP FLOP. The Crazy town at NIU but a fun reunion for me, Sneaky Suki IS ABSOLUTELY back, more behind the mic moments from Kim, Mati Waligora, Alisia Murray, Towson Bars and the Hype of Cory plus our R5 University scores. Let's Go! Video of Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_W94vAmKuM Show Notes: Behind the Scenes (03:54) NIU vs Kent State (Jason was a spectator) WMU vs Eastern Michigan (Kim Commentated) FAB 5 (28:46) History Making Price Social Media Salute The Faces of Mati Waligora SUKI is BACK!!!!  DEBUTS (36:29) Alisia Murray CMU Floor  D3 Athlete of the Week (37:58)  Aleah Radojevich, Osh Kosh Floor 9.75 They DID THAT! (40:28)  Camera Angles at WMU Many names of Sydney Thoughts from the Towson Quad Arkansas takes down Florida Where to Begin with Utah State vs San Jose Towson Bars, ISU Beam Routine, Arkansas Hype Man Cory and the new Podcast with Karas  R5 University Line-up for Week 6 (1:10:04)  Presented by Full Out Recruiting Line-up meets:  Kent State vs NIU Eastern vs Western San Jose State vs Utah State

Welcome Welcome to Episode #475 of the 303 Endurance Podcast. We're your hosts Coaches Rich Soares and April Spilde. Thanks for joining us for another week of endurance news, coaching tips and discussion. We hope you enjoyed last week's interview with Coach Erin Carson of ECFIT. This week we continue our programming on strength with a focus on bike strength and the many ways to develop the strength and power that goes into the pedals, but also the considerations for how the bike beneath you plays a role in your best bike performance.  Plus, we have an all new segment called “Athlete Success Stories” that features an athlete, who through commitment, grit and courage, is finding breakthroughs and growth.   Show Sponsor: UCAN UCAN created LIVSTEADY as an alternative to sugar based nutrition products. LIVSTEADY was purposefully designed to work with your body, delivering long-lasting energy you can feel. Whether UCAN Energy Powders, Bars or Gels, LIVSTEADY's unique time-release profile allows your body to access energy consistently throughout the day, unlocking your natural ability to finish stronger and recover more quickly!    In Today's Show Announcements Feature Athlete Success Story: Laura Hammdorff Ask a Coach: What muscle groups to develop for the bike? Get Gritty Tip TriDot Workout of the Week - 3 Bike Power Building Workouts Fun Segment: “Transition Troubles: Winter Triathlete Edition”     Announcements:   FulGaz Virtual Group Ride Schedule - No change with the Rouvy announcement. If you hadn't heard, Rouvy has purchased FulGaz and IRONMAN will continue to partner with Rouvy. FulGaz is going to continue offering the same services for the foreseeable future.    Our next group ride will be February 1st and we are riding the Pikes Peak ride on our FulGaz Virtual Group Ride.    303 Webinar Series Continues - February 4th 6-7 TriDot Pool School. Every 1st Tuesday of the Month   Announcing Talk Tuesdays (aka Office Hours) with Coaches April Spilde and Rich Soares. Every 3rd Tuesday of the month.   Upcoming Programming - Our February focus will be on swimming. Feb. 1 - FASST and essential pool equipment Feb. 8 - Webinar with TriDot Pool School Director, Coach Brandy Ramirez Feb. 15 - How to Read Swim Workout Feb. 22 - Open Water Skills   Grit2Greatness Coaching Facebook Page Live - Come check out our new coaching Facebook page @grit2greatnesscoaching Ask A Coach Sponsor: G2G Endurance Triathletes, ready to train smarter? At Grit2Greatness Coaching, we've teamed up with TriDot to bring you precision and progress. Sign up through either Coach April's or Coach Rich's TriDot links and enjoy seamless onboarding, personalized workouts, and cutting-edge analytics tailored to your goals.   Start with a 2-week free trial, then choose plans starting at $14.99 a month. With the right tools and support, you can achieve the extraordinary. Ready to see what's possible? Click the one of the sign-up links in our show notes to get started today!   Athlete Success Story: Laura Hammdorff Lead In (Rich): January continues our focus on strength. Last week we had Erin Carson of  ECFIT Performance Strength talk with us about strength training programs for endurance athletes seeking to perform at their very best in triathlons, marathons, and cycling events.    This week we are steering the conversation to bike strength and mobility programming. If you think we have the magic bullet for developing strength and power on the bike, think again. It takes work, from lots of angles and there is not a straight line to success, ever. How do strength programs, workouts, fueling, physical therapy, bike fit, components, riding apps, threshold assessments and so on factor into your power to weight ratio?    Here to help us unpack developing cycling strength and improving power on the bike is an athlete who I believe embodies “grit2greatness” and is an example of the resilience and tenacity it takes to achieve a goal. Yes we all have goals that we are working toward and the journey toward that goal seems long and winding. Part of the reason we close each episode with the call to “enjoy the endurance journey” is because the journey, not necessarily the finish line, is where we realize the most growth.    Introduce Laura Hammdorff: Laura Hammdorff is a competitive triathlete with an NCAA swimming and cross fit background. When we started working together last year we discussed her triathlon background and goals. Because we are focusing on developing bike power this week, this will be our theme to tell her story. Without giving too much away, it's my hope that by listening to Laura's journey you will find examples of how her grit and tenacity can give you a template for your journey   Discussion Questions to Laura (Rich and April take turns asking questions): Icebreaker - Two Truths and a Lie How would you describe your background in cycling compared to swimming, running and strength training? What was the steepest learning curve with cycling early on? What role did the Triple Bypass play in your development of power and resilience on the bike? How has working with a PT contributed to your development? How have injuries created challenges in your training and racing? Not just overuse, but also previous injuries and limitations? How has bike fit played a role in your performance? How has fueling played a role? How has thinking about the nuances of executing a workout (eg build into power, backloading stress, etc) played into your development? How's your relationship with the FTP? What have you learned about software platforms and their ability to engage and support doing the right training right? .  Ask A Coach: What muscle groups to develop for the bike? Setup (Rich): Here are the different phases of a bike pedal stroke and the muscles used during each phase: Downstroke (1 to 5 o'clock): This phase involves the quadriceps and the gluteus maximus. The primary action is knee extension and hip extension. Pullback (5 to 7 o'clock): The hamstrings and the gluteus maximus are engaged. This phase involves knee flexion and hip extension. Upstroke (7 to 11 o'clock): The hip flexors and the anterior tibialis are primarily used. The action here is hip flexion and knee flexion. Over-the-top (11 to 1 o'clock): The quadriceps and the anterior tibialis help to lift the pedal. This phase involves knee extension and hip flexion.   Get Gritty Tip:   Stop Sleepwalking Through Life    Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions, like life is passing you by in a blur of routine and mental chatter? You're not alone. Scientists in the UK discovered that our brains have a kind of "autopilot" mode—a trance-like state where we zone out, consumed by trivial thoughts. It's like we're sleepwalking through life, and the result? Days, weeks, even years that feel hollow and forgettable.     Why does this happen? As we age, we fall into patterns. Experiences that once thrilled us now become automatic routines. Think about it: When was the last time you truly experienced something *new*? Remember how slowly time seemed to move as a kid? That wasn't just your imagination. Back then, everything was fresh. Every hour was an adventure, and your brain had to focus on learning, adapting, and figuring out how to respond.     Psychologist William James explained this beautifully in *The Principles of Psychology* over a century ago. He wrote about how, in youth, life feels vivid and stretched out, like an intricate journey. But as adults, our lives tend to shrink into the predictable.     Here's the good news: you *can* break out of this autopilot mode. The key? Newness. Novel experiences force us into the present moment. They snap us out of our mental trance because we can't predict what's coming next or how to respond.     And you don't need to meditate on a mountaintop to find this mindfulness. Learning something new—a skill, a hobby, even a sport—engages both your mind and body, pulling you fully into the moment. The journey toward mastery isn't just about achievement. It's about the fulfillment that comes from being completely engaged in the *process.*     Think of your life as a scrapbook. When you look back on it, what will you see? Is it full of rich, meaningful experiences that make time slow down? Or is it a blur of sameness? If the latter, it's time to wake up. Start saying yes to novelty. Break free from your routine. Add new skills, adventures, and memories to your life's scrapbook.     Because when you take inventory on your life, you'll want to see a collection of stories that prove you *lived.*     TriDot Workouts of the Week:    Here are 3 incredibly powerful workouts for building bike power: Power Intervals, Big Gear Work and 30-30s   Power Intervals Warmup 10 min @ Z2 with 2 x 30 sec (30 sec) Spinups and 3 x 1 min (1 min) @ Z4     Main Set 2 x 7 min @ Z4 ~70 rpm (3 min) 1 x 3 min @ Z2 1 x 10 min @ Z4 > 90 rpm Balance of time @ Z2 Big Gear Work   Warmup 10 min @ Z2 with 2 x 30 sec (30 sec) Spinups and 3 x 1 min (1 min) @ Z4     Main Set Dismount 30 sec Squats (shoot for 1/second) 30 sec Isometric squat Mount quickly w/o recovery 1 x 3 min @ Z5 in biggest gearing at 55-65 cadence 1 min @ Z2 before dismount Dismount 45 sec Squats (shoot for 1/second) 60 sec Isometric squat Mount quickly w/o recovery 2 x 1 min @ Z5 (60 sec) in biggest gearing at 55-65 cadence 1 min @ Z2 before dismount Dismount 60 sec Squats 30 sec Isometric squat Mount 5 min @ Z2 Balance of time @ Z2 30-30s   Warmup 10 min @ Z2 with 2 x 30 sec (30 sec) Spinups and 3 x 1 min (1 min) @ Z4     Main Set 4 sets of 4 x 30 sec @ Z5+ (30 sec @ Z3) with 2 min @ Z2 rest between sets Balance of time @ Z2   That's this week's TriDot workout of the week! Give it a go and tell us about your experience!   Today's Fun Segment: Transition Troubles (Winter Triathlete Edition) Concept: Players navigate a series of humorous and absurd challenges they might encounter during a triathlon transition. You describe a scenario, and they have to choose how they'd handle it. The Shoe Switcheroo: You reach T2 and realize your running shoes are missing, but there's a pair of Yeti slippers sitting in your spot. Do you: a) Wear the slippers and hope for the best. b) Run in your bike shoes. c) “Borrow” a random pair of shoes from someone else's transition area. The Snack Attack: Your nutrition bag was replaced with a box of donuts. Do you: a) Eat the donuts and enjoy the sugar rush. b) Offer them to other athletes as a goodwill gesture / barter. c) Ignore the donuts and power through without your planned nutrition. Helmet Havoc: You find your helmet filled with shaving cream. Do you: a) Scoop it out with your hand and put it on anyway. b) Run back to the start to see if someone will lend you a helmet. c) Smear the shaving cream on your face like war paint and declare yourself ready for victory! Ski Struggles: You're ready to start the ski leg, but you see that someone has put peanut butter on the underside of your skis. Do you: a) Attempt to ski anyway and hope the pb melts off. b) Lick the peanut off (protein boost, right?) c) Use it as ski wax, and convince others that it's a secret performance hack.   Train With Coach Rich: Coach Rich Soares Rich.soares@tridot.com Rich Soares Coaching TriDot Signup - https://app.tridot.com/onboard/sign-up/richsoares RunDot Signup - https://app.rundot.com/onboard/sign-up/richsoares   Train with Coach April: Coach April Spilde April.spilde@tridot.com Grit2Greatness Endurance Podcast Podcast Series - Apple Podcasts TriDot Signup - https://app.tridot.com/onboard/sign-up/aprilspilde   Shoutouts to: @genucan @grit2greatnesscoaching @ironmantri @303triathlon @tridottraining @tridottrainingsystem #grit #grit2greatness #usatriathlon #wintertriathlon #breckenbiener  #ironmantri #cycling #triathlon #swimbikerun #Iamtridot #tridotambassador #tridotcoach  

Save $1000 with our new Performance Course Bundles!https://shiftmovementscience.com/bundles/Unlock the secrets to mastering gymnastics skills with our special guest, Nick Ruddock, as he shares his insights on the art of coaching backward giants and flyaways. Renowned for his innovative educational techniques, Nick emphasizes the foundational importance of the backward giant and the critical role of physical preparation. Discover his "five dimensions of a straight line" model, a game-changing approach to maintaining a straight line across various positions—a key skill for any aspiring gymnast gearing up for competition season.Get ready to rethink your training strategies with the "rotate and repeat" method, designed to help gymnasts maintain consistent shapes while enhancing their comprehension of bar skills. We delve into the Biles principles of sight, flight, shape, swing, and extension, with practical advice on how to apply these to backward giants and flyaways. Nick also addresses the significance of core strength and static shapes, offering a variety of exercises such as hollow holds and backward rolls that can significantly boost a gymnast's technical progression and performance.From mastering the open tuck position to developing swing using innovative tools like the trapeze, we explore advanced coaching techniques that prioritize patient progression. Nick's philosophy on deliberate skill development, including the 'catapult' effect, offers a fresh perspective on enhancing athlete performance through foundational readiness and precise timing. Join us for this rich conversation filled with expert insights and actionable tips that promise to elevate both coaching strategies and gymnast success.https://shiftmovementscience.com/bundles/ We appreciate you listening! To learn more about SHIFT, head here - https://shiftmovementscience.com/To learn about SHIFT's courses, check our website here - https://courses.shiftmovementscience.com/Also, please consider rating, reviewing, and sharing the podcast with your friends! Thanks :)Thanks for listening to The SHIFT Show!Check out SHIFT's most popular courses here! https://courses.shiftmovementscience.com/Want to join our online educational community of over 1000 gymnastics professionals and get 40+ hours of gymnastics lectures? Join The Hero Lab below!https://shiftmovementscience.com/theherolab/ Check out all our past podcast episodes here!https://shiftmovementscience.com/podcast/

So we are revisiting the Book:  Gods of War: The Legend of Blackhawk Company 1/23 InfantryGods Of War: The untold legendary story of the soldiers from Blackhawk Company 1st Battalion, 23rd Infantry Regiment. A part of the Army's first Stryker Brigade 3rd Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division out of Fort Lewis Washington. This story follows the unit from Transformation through their Harrowing, Anxiety-filled Combat Deployment to the Northern Iraqi city of Mosul during the early stages of the War in Iraq. Blackhawk Company would hold down Western Mosul almost single-handed while battling head-to-head against a very determined enemy in some of the most fiercely fought battles of the entire war. Overcoming tragic events on their first combat mission that threatened to cripple the unit before they even got started, When the dust settled, Blackhawk Company would go down as one of the finest Infantry Rifle Companies of Modern Warfare—a story of Valor, Heroes, Brotherhood, and Destiny.Thanks again to Joe and Paul for coming on and sharing some insights before the book's release.  Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/philosophy-from-the-front-line--4319845/support.

So what does a host of a podcast do when her guest has Covid? You sit down and authentically answer people's questions that they want to know about you! From politics, French fries diet, confidence, to personal intimacy, I lay it all out there. Watching the Olympics, reminds us of how much work athletes put into that final moment. Dating in your 50's, you go on hundreds of dates to try to land the perfect dismount. You're overcoming the many obstacles to achieve that yellow brick road to the perfect relationship meant for you.

My friend, has life gotten you so down that you've forgotten that you have Superpowers? Bay Area-based writer, performer, and educator Tatyana Brown is battling break-ups, job loss and the Sads; so should she really given up on sex at this young age? Hoping to jumpstart her libido, she heads to a play party and when a beautiful woman says “I could go for some strap-on sex,” Tatyana's lightbulb moment happens. Before you can say Polyamorous Clown Car, she's instigating a tournament where dozens of sexy badasses are competing in multiple heats for a naked audience. Sometimes you have to Go for the Gold to get your mojo back! #Instigator #Shenanigans #SlowClap #MakeItWeird   Song: ‘Girls Just Wanna have Sex' (Mazie)   About the Storyteller:   Tatyana Brown is a Bay Area-based writer, performer, and educator. She has toured nationally, performing and facilitating workshops for almost 10 years. Her work has appeared on NPR's Snap Judgment and she has taught at Yale University, Indiana University, Duke, and many more. She's been on the Bawdy stage since the very beginning and loves to spend time with people who are far, far sluttier than she can currently be.    Queer l Polyamorous l Play Party l Strap-On l Break-Up l Connection l Kindness l LGBT l Empathy l Sex Drive l Oakland l Sex Party l Genderqueer l Communication l Public Sex l Boundaries l Sacred l Pool Party l Human Pyramid l Orgy l Toy Bag l Go-Go Boots l Witty Banter l Blowjob l Deepthroat l Hot Tub l Performance l Napoleon l Audience l Judges l Rejection l Name Your Desire l Slow Clap l Floor Exercises l Multiple Positions l Camp Counselor l Dismount l Rookie l Applause l   Episode links:   Substack: Have you signed up yet? Thank you to all the people who've signed up for my new 'Dixie Ramble' newsletter. Substack is a great way to stay on top of audio, video and written stories from Bawdy. You can subscribe to The Dixie Ramble at https://substack.com/profile/22550258-dixie-de-la-tour   Is this the End? Folks, I'm still considering ending the Bawdy podcast at 300 episodes. That means there's less than a month's worth of episodes to go. 8 Years is a long time and Podcasting is a lot of work, so I may pause or end this thing. I wonder: should put my energy to better use. Should I write a book? Start creating online courses? Sell pics of my feet?   If you love Bawdy, I need to hear from you. If you want these stories, let me know. This decision will affect both of us. And if you listen and love this thing, please make a One-time or Ongoing Donation to keep the Podcast going.   One Time Donation links are at:   Venmo: @BawdyStorytelling or https://www.venmo.com/bawdystorytelling CashApp: https://cash.app/$DixieDeLaTour Paypal: paypal.me/bawdystorytelling Zelle: https://www.zellepay.com/  Email address is  BawdyStorytelling@gmail.com BuyMeACoffee: buymeacoff.ee/bawdy   Ko-fi : Ko-fi.com/thanksbawdy     Ongoing Support: Better yet, Join Bawdy's Patreon now to get exclusive Patreon-only rewards (and my eternal gratitude). Podcasting has been decimated by high profile celebrity podcasts, and Independent podcast like Bawdy are suffering…The Golden Age of Podcasting is over, so if you love the Bawdy podcast, remember: this thing is entirely Listener Supported, and we need your financial assistance to continue.   It's at https://www.patreon.com/Bawdy Sign up now and get the Replay of the Portland BawdySlam! (Plus the Portland curated show is up on Patreon, waiting for you)   How can I help?   Story Coaching: I'd love to work with you on your personal story, because Storytelling is essential to your work, dating and social life. Right now I'm offering private coaching on Zoom… Want to work on your personal branding? (your dating profile, website, storytelling for job interviews, etc). I can help you live the life that you've always dreamed about: communicating with clarity, feeling more confident when you speak socially and on stage, landing your dream job, and discovering what makes *you* tick - storytelling is so good for figuring out what drives you. Whether it's getting onstage for the first time, writing your memoir, creating a podcast, opening up your marriage, embracing a new identity or finding your way to a new, more authentic life, I can help. Email me at BawdyStorytelling@gmail.com and let's make it happen.   Sexuality and Kink Coaching: Are you looking to create your own Bawdy stories? Let me help you find the life you're dreaming of. I'm available for sexuality and kinky coaching;  If you've always wished that you had someone to talk to openly, and someone who could help you naviagate this new world, I'm here to support you, if you want it - you decide what role I play. I'm here to help!   Merchandise: Bawdy Got Me Laid perfume: Dixie has created her own fragrance and it's getting rave reviews!   Here's a review of #BawdyGotMeLaid : “Okay hear me out, THIS PERFUME IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I will probably never buy perfume from another shop. That's how good these are. #bawdygotmelaid is so sexy, so sweet, so delicious. The Amber and ylang ylang is what sold me, and it did not disappoint!” - Carlie You'll love #BawdyGotMeLaid, scented with golden Honey, Amber, Ylang Ylang, and warm Vanilla. There's also our creamy Bawdy Butter, Hair & Bawdy Oil, & more. Bawdy Got Me Laid cologne - in a beautiful bottle, or a convenient roll-on applicator - means you can deliver your own great smelling Motorboats while supporting Bawdy. It's sexy yet innocent, and even moms and kids love it.   Get yours today at https://bawdystorytelling.com/merchandise Read more reviews here: https://sucreabeille.com/products/bawdygotmelaid   Subscribe to the Bawdy Storytelling email at https://bawdystorytelling.com/subscribe   Where should I bring Bawdy next? Do you want Bawdy Storytelling in *your* city? I'm ramping up for more cities and live shows. Maybe an evening of *my* personal stories, or a House Concert, a BawdySlam, or ? Send me a message, tell me what you're thinking, and let's work together. Message me at BawdyStorytelling@gmail.com   Check out our Bawdy Storytelling Fiends and Fans group on Facebook - it's a place to discuss the podcast's stories with the storytellers, share thoughts with your fellow listeners, & help Dixie make the podcast even better. Just answer 3 simple questions and you're IN! https://www.facebook.com/groups/360169851578316/ Thank you to the Team that makes this podcast possible! Team Bawdy is:   Podcast Producer: Roman Den Houdijker Sound Engineer: David Grosof Storytelling support by Mosa Maxwell-Smith Video & Livestream support from Donal Mooney Bawdy's Creator & Host is Dixie De La Tour & Thank you to Pleasure Podcasts. Bawdy Storytelling is proud to be part of your s*x-positive podcast collective!   Website: https://bawdystorytelling.com/ On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bawdystorytelling/ Like us at www.Facebook.com/BawdyStorytelling Join us on FetLife: https://fetlife.com/groups/46341 Support us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/Bawdy Watch us on YouTube at http://bit.ly/BawdyTV Find out about upcoming Podcast episodes - & Livestreams - at www.BawdyStorytelling.com/subscribe  

Subscribe to Blue White Illustrated on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3KzEcqK Check out the site too! - https://bit.ly/3u8dilD Thanks to our sponsor; myperfectfranchise.net The Penn State football recruiting season is about to close this weekend. But before that, the Nittany Lions host one more official visit group. Will head coach James Franklin and his recruiting staff go out with a bang? We're discussing that, plus reviewing the work they put in last weekend on the BWI Live Recruiting Show. Join industry insiders Sean Fitz and Ryan Snyder as we break down the recent commitments and breaking news to come and preview the final weekend of prospects on today's show. Join us live at 10 a.m. on YouTube, or catch the replay on the site. A closer look at Jahmir Joseph We've covered four-star commit Jahmir Joseph on the BWI YouTube channel already, but since then, our staff has taken a closer look at his skills and film. We'll start the show breaking that down and discussing what we've seen from the top corner on Penn State's board. We'll also catch up on what intel Snyder has gained from speaking to recruits and staff this past week. Penn State land Antonio Branch Last night, Penn State football landed four-star safety Antonio Branch out of Florida. The 6-2 safety prospect chose Penn State over Louisville and other southern schools to give the team a solid addition at safety. What led to his commitment to Penn State? We'll discuss how Anthony Poindexter landed the position of project player and how his recruiting ranking may not accurately reflect his position and potential at Penn State. Official visit recap and preview Penn State hosted some of its most critical prospects of the 2025 cycle along with it's committed players last weekend. Four-star tight end Andrew Olesh spoke with On3 recently and our experts relay the situation to fans on the show. Which school is in the lead for the Luke Reynolds-type prospect? We'll discuss that and how the recruiting pitch against Penn State doesn't totally make sense when it comes to playing time. Next, we'll preview the final weekend of official visits. Here's the list of players attending starting Friday. JaDon Blair Jabree Wallace-Coleman Naeshaun Montgomery  Max Buchanan Cortez Harris  Koby Howard Samari Reed LaVar Arrington II Braswell Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Writing a book is hard. Ending a book in way that satisfies most of your readers is unbelievably hard - even before you factor in that you will never please everyone. This week Jules and Madeleine take a look at why this is true. Examining books and films they enjoyed but which didn't stick the ending, the dragons list the ways an ending can fail its fans and how to avoid this.  On the slab this week: Avengers Endgame, The Mist - Stephen King, The Witcher Season 3 and many more.   Title music: Ecstasy by Smiling Cynic

Mick & MG In The Morning - weekdays from 6am on Sydney's 104.9 Triple M or grab the podcast on LiSTNR or wherever you get your podcasts.  #MickAndMGInTheMorningSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week, we close the loop on all of the 'concealed truths' revealed by the expert statement analysis team. We instead return to highlighting the brave survivors of the church and school: we admire how their voices have grown stronger and how the dark secrets of the past are slowly coming to light.  We also focus on Franklin, Tennessee as a whole and some of the scandals that have plagued the small town.  The title of this week's podcast comes from a compelling blog post submitted to us by a listener- you'll hear the heart-breaking blog post in this episode.SHOW NOTES:https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/politics/2019/05/06/house-speaker-glen-casada-cade-cothren-sent-sexual-texts-women/1122490001/https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/politics/2021/11/10/embattled-republican-rep-glen-casada-retire-tennessee-legislature/6370061001/https://www.facebook.com/100065207032224/posts/671393178377577/?mibextid=cr9u03https://www.freedom4gracie.com/timelinehttps://www.nickiswift.com/1391372/dark-secrets-of-celebrity-town-franklin-tennessee/DISCLAIMER:The following podcast episode features a reading of a blog post authored by another individual. We want to emphasize that the content being read is not our original creation, and we do not claim any ownership or authorship of the blog post's content.Additionally, this podcast episode features the testimony of a former student of GCA and TN resident. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information provided, we would like to emphasize that the views and experiences expressed by the individual are their own and do not necessarily reflect the experiences of others or the host.Accuracy of Information: The information presented in this podcast episode is based on the available evidence, reports, and public records. While efforts have been made to ensure accuracy, details may be subject to errors or omissions. Listeners are encouraged to conduct their own research as well.Opinion and Speculation: Throughout the podcast, there may be instances where opinions and/or speculation are expressed regarding certain events, individuals, or circumstances. These are the personal perspectives of the podcast hosts or guests and should not be taken as conclusive or factual statements.

In today's podcast, we are thrilled to have Will Banthorpe, an exceptional coach from the UK specializing in Men's Artistic Gymnastics. Will is Head of MAG at Pipers Vale Gymnastics Club, GBR with 23 years of coaching experience.He is coach to several international gymnasts, coaching at multiple European and World Championships.Today he shares his expertise on a highly requested topic: high bar skills, specifically release moves and dismounts. Developing these skills safely and effectively, while also addressing the anxiety and fear associated with them, is crucial for young male gymnasts. We delve into valuable advice on safe development, skill progressions, and determining readiness for full-release moves or dismounts. These areas can be murky for young coaches, but with Will Banthorpe's vast experience in coaching high-level athletes, we have an incredible opportunity to learn from him.We discuss:Advice to coaches with high-level aspirations.Do coaches really hide their coaching secrets?The single most scary thing in gymnastics. Drills for flyaways.Difference between dismount taps versus release skill taps.Don't do drills for the sake of doing drills.How to identify suitable skills for individual gymnasts.Staples for physical and mental preparation for high bar release skills.And…What you should be doing with younger athletes now for success in the future.www.shiftmovementscience.com/2023shiftsymposium We appreciate you listening! To learn more about SHIFT, head here - https://shiftmovementscience.com/To learn about SHIFT's courses, check our website here - https://courses.shiftmovementscience.com/Also, please consider rating, reviewing, and sharing the podcast with your friends! Thanks :)Thanks for listening to The SHIFT Show!Check out SHIFT's most popular courses here! https://courses.shiftmovementscience.com/Want to join our online educational community of over 1000 gymnastics professionals and get 40+ hours of gymnastics lectures? Join The Hero Lab below!https://shiftmovementscience.com/theherolab/ Check out all our past podcast episodes here!https://shiftmovementscience.com/podcast/

When the fun is gone, it's time to move on. Please enjoy this last episode of Black Irish Podcast. Brendan rambles on for about 45 minutes and that's a wrap. Thank you to everyone that gave us a try, enjoyed us or even shared. This has been a dream come true. This podcast began organically and it is ending the same way. Feel free to come back and visit anytime or time travel every now and again by throwing on an old episode.Thank you to those who made this possible. The tripod will be left standing here.Follow Brendan on IG @brendanmccorklecomedyTa ta, for now...

3D Printed Anger. Scott Remakes The Calendar. Picking Up and Haulin' Granny's. There's no soccer in Maverick! Porn Shack. Drunk on Midichlorians. Slapping Balogna. Spent time in the Clapper. Dahmer Ate The Person of the Year. Florida Man's Punt Forch. We Don't Have A Bear Clause. Amy has a package for us. Free Granny Lift-Driving. Unfortunate use of clan. Batman and Superman buddy issues with Stephen and more on this episode of The Morning Stream.

3D Printed Anger. Scott Remakes The Calendar. Picking Up and Haulin' Granny's. There's no soccer in Maverick! Porn Shack. Drunk on Midichlorians. Slapping Balogna. Spent time in the Clapper. Dahmer Ate The Person of the Year. Florida Man's Punt Forch. We Don't Have A Bear Clause. Amy has a package for us. Free Granny Lift-Driving. Unfortunate use of clan. Batman and Superman buddy issues with Stephen and more on this episode of The Morning Stream.

A different take on todays podcast! After publishing the "decide to dismount" short video on her fb page, Becky received a huge amount of comments both positive and negative. We decided that it was important to answer some of the many questions that arose and address some of the more negative comments. It can be so easy to comment on people's videos but are we being helpful? Are there better ways to express our feelings online? Trudi clarifies the fundamentals of the training; Did we use reinforcers? Is it actually negative reinforcement on the mat? How was the mat trained? Is the rate or reinforcement too low? A lot of commenters believe that, if given the choice, their horse would choose not to do the work. The three of us talk about this a little more in depth, is that actually the case? Was it the case for Reg? Is there a compromise when we have to exercise our horses for weight management? Lots and lots of great discussion, you don't want to miss out on this one! If you are enjoying our podcast please share, like

In this episode of Alumni Conversation we have 2022 MAC Beam and Floor Champion Payton Murphy from Western Michigan on the show. Payton is headed into her senior year for the broncos but we get to take her back to her club days and find more about the injury that shaped her into the tough athlete she is today. We discuss her major neck injury from her freshman year and how that has impacted her and made her the leader she has become. We discuss her long journey on bars with dismounts and releases and of course talk about her 2022 MAC Championships.

Buy me a coffee to say thank you for the podcast! === King Herla is fighting a war against the Saxons and winning. A group of dwarves comes to his wedding and makes a deal with him: if they can come to his wedding, then in the future the king will go to the dwarf king's wedding. He thinks the dwarves will give them amazing gifts, but he doesn't know the risk he's taking... Today's story is The Last King of the Britons. Go to EasyStoriesInEnglish.com/Last for the full transcript. Level: Pre-Intermediate. Genre: Myths & Legends. Vocabulary: Rule, Give up (defeat), Dismount, Banquet, Do someone an honour, Faerie folk, Dwarf, Risk your life, Make a deal, Crack, Shepherd, Be reunited. Setting: Medieval. Word Count: 1272. Author: British Myths. If you enjoy the podcast, please consider supporting us on Patreon. For just a few dollars a month you can get extra episodes, exercises, and much more. Support Easy Stories in English by contributing to their tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/easystoriesinenglish

A quirk of fate brings both Lem and Fanshaw face to face with people from their pasts.  disagreeable reunions bring up disagreeable memories, and show a taste of what makes a man into a gunslinger. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid -  J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw -  J. Hoverson ~~~~~~ Grisham - Bill Hollweg  (BrokenSea Audio) Lisette Carmichael - Robyn Keyes Commander Bannington -  Glen Hallstrom Scotty - Mike Campbell Other Voices: Episode 1 Bartender - Rick Lewis Episode 2 Townsfolks - Mark Olson, Candace Behuniak, Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 3 Juliet - Alexa Chipman (Imagination Lane) Glen Hallstrom Episode 4 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Piedmont - Russell Gold Mr. Roberts - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Episode 5 Nanny - Jennifer Dixon Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 6 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Mark & Connor Olson Russell Gold Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock Announcer:  Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme:  "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson   No gunshots herald his approach.  No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. ************************************************************* Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 1 MUSIC 1_ARRIVAL SOUND     HORSES, RIVER, BOAT TRAFFIC LEM    Largest town I been near in a good passel of time.  I hear tell it started out as a frontier fort, but the frontier moseyed west and left it a-setting behind. FANSHAW    Will it be safe? LEM    Safe? FANSHAW    I had rather assumed you were avoiding larger towns.  For ... notoriety's sake. LEM    Meaning I don't want be invited to a necktie party?  'at's part of it, though I'm purty sure I ain't never been posted in this territory.  FANSHAW    Is it worth the risk? LEM    [shrug noise]  Time to time a man wants a bath and a night in a bed. FANSHAW    There are some distinct benefits to being deceased. LEM    [laughs]  Ayup.  I don't gotta listen to you bellyaching about aches and pains and sleeping on the ground no more.  Never mind being all prissy and citified about finding you a comf'table bush now and then-- FANSHAW    [rolling eyes]  Yes, yes. LEM    Sides, I'm outta coffee.  And low on shells.  FANSHAW    [teasing] Heavens.  How DO you manage? 2_STROLLING AMB    IN TOWN SOUND    WALKING ON WOOD LEM    Lotta trade hereabouts.  Reckon I'll be able to get what all I need. FANSHAW    Lem!  Soldiers. LEM    [voice low]  Right.  We'll go on over yonder.  [beat] Must still be a fort within spitting distance.  FANSHAW    I did notice that the old fortification appears to have become the mansion for an authority of some kind.  LEM    Probly best to get my business done and skeddaddle. SOUND    SALOON DOOR OPENS, JUST OFF, PEOPLE COME OUT FANSHAW    I say.  Isn't it a bit early for a drink? LEM    [shrug] Three weeks.  Don't seem early to me. FANSHAW    I'll-- LISETTE    [off a bit] Clary? FANSHAW    [stunned and horrified] Oh god. LISETTE    [off a bit] Clary?  I'd know that voice anywhere! LEM    Friend o'yourn? FANSHAW    [stiff, covering]  Old acquaintance.  Go on ahead! LEM    Right. 3_SALOON SOUND    HE WALKS INTO SALOON AMB    SALOON LEM    One here. SOUND    DRINK POURED BARTENDER    There you go. SOUND    COINS SOUND    LEM DRINKS GRISHAM    [angry growl] Lemuel Roberts. LEM    [SPIT-TAKE] SOUND    GLASS SLAMMED DOWN BARTENDER    Something wrong, fella? LEM    [coughing, trying to clear his throat]  Toothache.  Hit like a snakebite. GRISHAM    You look at me, you pissant slab of gun leather. BARTENDER    [sympathetic] Tarnation.  You need it yonked?  Barber can‑‑ LEM    [finally getting clear] No, no.  I kin handle it.  SOUND    COINS, GLASS DOWN LEM    Another.  And sorry about the-- BARTENDER    [dismissive] Ain't no nevermind. SOUND    MORE COINS LEM    Give me the bottle. GRISHAM    Now I found you, you could float a heap o rotgut and won't never drown me! BARTENDER    You drink more careful now, you hear? LEM    Ayup. 4_LISETTE AMB    OUTSIDE LISETTE    [close, laughing] Oh, good lord, look at you!  Mustache and all.  Aren't you a little brigadier? FANSHAW    [acknowledging] Carmichael. LISETTE    Oh, how formal.  Just like at school.  What have you been up to Clary, dear? FANSHAW    "Fanshaw," if you please. LISETTE    And we used to be such chums.  However did you end up here? FANSHAW    I'm quite sorry to see that you are dead, Carmichael. LISETTE    [laughing] Oh, I rather doubt that!  You're only very sad to see that I'm here, aren't you? FANSHAW    Would you prefer that I said I am pleased to find that you died, since that would be the only circumstance that could ever have stopped you from tormenting every living soul around you? LISETTE    [not amused any more]  At least that would be closer to the truth. FANSHAW    Jolly good.  Happy you're dead.  Must get along. LISETTE    Don't run off so quickly, Clary!  FANSHAW    [long breath of self-control]  LISETTE    There's been no one interesting to talk to or listen in on for simply ages.  FANSHAW    How unfortunate.  Must rush. LISETTE    I noticed you speaking to that fellow. FANSHAW    [quiet] Bloody hell.  [up]  I speak to a lot of people. LISETTE    I'm sure.  But he replied.  Might I speak with him as well? FANSHAW    I-- LISETTE    Oh, just watch your face!  You're trying desperately to come up with a lie!  You never could hide anything from me, mustache or no mustache, silly Clary-- FANSHAW    Stop calling me that. LISETTE    Oh, how I've missed these little moments with my dearest friends - ever since I made the leap.  I shall have to spend a great deal of time with you - and with your rugged looking friend.  FANSHAW    [gritted teeth] Jolly good. 5_SALOON2 AMB    SALOON SOUND    LEM DRINKS, SLAMS DOWN GLASS GRISHAM    I know you kin hear me, you toad-bellied worm. SOUND    CHAIR SHIFTS, KICKED OUT FROM TABLE LEM    [low] Sit. GRISHAM    What makes you think I'd sit with you?  You done went and killed me! LEM    That's one reason I'm plumb surprised to see you.  You went down all the way to Fayetteville - damn far north o' here. GRISHAM    I ... drifted. LEM    That's just what's got me hornswoggled.  Ain't no one drifts. GRISHAM    Well I did, and I's planning to get you back for what you done, one way or t'other. LEM    [sigh] SOUND    DRINK POURS 6_PIGS SOUND    PIGS LEM    Why'd you drag me out to the slaughterhouse? FANSHAW    That woman - ghost woman. LEM    An old flame? FANSHAW    Nonsense!  We knew each other as ... children.  She is-- [changing the subject] She is unlikely to follow us here.  LEM    Spect not.  Womenfolks ain't fond of this sort of messy business. FANSHAW    [disgusted] Yes... LEM    So?  You'd best'a brought me here fer a reason. FANSHAW    Lisette Carmichael.  She [hard to say] is a person who likes to know things.  About other people.  She likes to -- LEM    Hold a grudge?  Like a noose over yer head? FANSHAW    Aptly put.  Yes.  LEM    You cain't have much in the way of dark secrets, though, can you?  Leastways not no more. FANSHAW    You might be surprised. LEM    Who's she a-gonna tell?  [realizes] Oh.  FANSHAW    And while I'm fairly certain you think you could overlook any past indiscretion on my  part, I don't doubt there are a few things that might shock even you.  Lord knows, she's not even above the occasional fabrication. LEM    [after a moment]  Did it involve a sheep? FANSHAW    What? LEM    Whatever it was you done. FANSHAW    No.  It isn't - it's not like that at all. LEM    [shrug] Sounds like we should jest ride on out. FANSHAW    What? LEM    Got my coffee, ain't no reason to lollygag. FANSHAW    You would leave?  Over this? LEM    I figger you saved m'life more'n once, and ain't much I can do in return.  SOUND    WALKING IN MUD LEM    Let's get gone before you start a-thanking me. 7_BARN AMB    BARN SOUND    TACK, HORSES, ETC. LEM    You distract her, I'll get the gear.  Come and find me when you feel the pull. FANSHAW    Righty-ho.  SOUND    LEAVES GRISHAM    Running away, eh?  Allus knew you'ure yella. LEM    [sigh]  You're lucky ain't no one about but us.  Otherwise, I wouldn't dignify none of that with an answer. GRISHAM    You kilt me! LEM    We had it out, fair and square.  I never shot no one in-- [breaks off, a bit choked up]  I never din't kill any one not a-gunning fer me.  Not on purpose. SOUND    LAST BIT OF TACKING UP GRISHAM    Are you saying I was asking fer it? LEM    I seem to recall you a-calling me out in the middle of a fairish game of cards.  Yellin blue bloody murder that I should step out and face you. GRISHAM    Well, yeah, but I was drunk. LEM    I din't do THAT to you neither.  You called me out, without no good reason agin me. GRISHAM    [losing some of his bluster] I fancied making a name for myself. SOUND    LEM GETS INTO THE SADDLE LEM    By shooting the Kid?  You ain't the first. GRISHAM    But you still kilt me. LEM    And I won't never forget none of it, but you got what you asked for, and not a jot more.  Blame providence if you cain't blame yerself, but don't put this guilt on me.  Hee-yaw! SOUND    RIDES OFF 8_DISTRACTION FANSHAW     Lisette? LISETTE    There you are!  Just like a naughty boy, running off to filthy places to get away. FANSHAW    So sorry.  Didn't have much choice.  My friend is quite fascinated by... hogs. LISETTE    Did you make a clean breast of it?  Or just warn him not to believe a thing I say?  FANSHAW    You don't understand what you're threatening to do - you never did.  LISETTE    So bothered over trifles!  How much people change! FANSHAW    Ruining someone's life never meant anything to you!  Do you recall poor Selfridge? LISETTE    Carmela?  Served her right.  FANSHAW    She threw herself off a bridge! LISETTE    She also let herself be compromised!  I didn't put her in the family way, and she was the one lying and hiding-- FANSHAW    Are you trying to imply that you are somehow in the right?  A champion of truth? LISETTE    Shall I point out what it is you are doing that flies in the face of nature? FANSHAW    History is replete with-- LISETTE    Oh, spare me.  Next you'll be quoting Shakespeare. FANSHAW    Very well.  I shan't try and justify myself, but I will point out that whatever I am doing, it cannot be changed.  Being dead, there's not much one can do about such trifles. LISETTE    Then why should it be such a catastrophe were I to tell? FANSHAW    [beat] You've never had a real friend, only people who fawned on you in order that you would not reveal their shortcomings.  LISETTE    [outraged] I--?  You--! FANSHAW    Kindly allow me to finish.  There is a certain camaraderie among men that simply does not - cannot - occur once a woman is involved.  Once you put your nose in, I fear it would never be quite the same. LISETTE    No doubt.  I'll just go and find your friend now, shall I? FANSHAW    [strange gasp, ending on a laugh]  No, but I think I shall. SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVING NOISE CLOSING         Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 2 1_MOSEYING AMB    OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, nighttime SOUND    HORSES WALKING LEM    I still cain't reckon how he got so far from where he-- I-- where we had it out. FANSHAW    How odd.  Have you ever encountered other ghosts who could travel? LEM    Present comp'ny only. FANSHAW    And we know the how and why of that.  Perhaps this fellow has a similar... arrangement? LEM    How?  And who with?  Ain't no one would carry that ugly cuss a dog's walk, let alone some hundred miles. FANSHAW    Well, every one of we "spirits" seems to be a bit different. LEM    Like your lady friend back there? FANSHAW    [sigh] From her current appearance and [disapproving] "costume", she had fallen on ‑ahem- hard times indeed.  Possibly drifted west - whilst alive - in hopes of making something better for herself.  LEM    Lot of people can say that, out this way. FANSHAW    [a bit snotty] Frankly I'm not surprised at her misfortune.  When you alienate all those around you, no one will step in to help if things take a turn for the worse. LEM    Cain't say I ain't never been that fella. FANSHAW    [chagrined] Oh.  MUSIC     FOR FLASHBACK NOTE    Lem is younger, more cocky, more superior in the falshback - need to really show who he used to be 2_THE OLD KID AMB    SALOON LEM    Gimme two. SOUND    CARDS LEM    [pleased noise]  I'll see you and raise-- SOUND    CROWD HUSHES GRISHAM    [snarling declaration] I hear tell the Deadeye Kid's here in town? LEM    [ignoring him, smug] Raise ten. DEALER    [shaky] Uh, Kid? GRISHAM    Which one o' y'all's sposed to be this weasel? LEM    Your call. PLAYER1    [shaky] Um...  I fold. LEM    [chuckles] PATRON1    How can he--? Patron2    Shh! SOUND    HEAVY SPURRED BOOTS CROSS FLOOR, PEOPLE SCUTTLE OUT OF WAY GRISHAM    [heavy menace]  You the deadeye kid? LEM    [offhanded] I'm the man playing a nice civil hand of cards.  Mebbe you can hold your hosses there, whistle stomper. GRISHAM    Either you come out and face me now, or I swear'n I'm gonna shoot you where you sit. SOUND    CHAIRS SCOOTING OUT, PEOPLE LEAVING TABLE LEM    [long dramatic sigh]  Now that sounds a mite like a threat. PLAYER1    [muttered] Uh, yeah.  I'm done.  Fergot my wife wants me home. GRISHAM    Are you coming, or am I shooting? LEM    If everyone's takin' leg, I guess I win by forfeit? DEALER    Um, I don't think anyone's gonna argue you on that. GRISHAM    You turn around now and face me, you yellow bellied dog! SOUND    MONEY BEING SHOVED TOGETHER LEM    Give the frog a chance to jump, knuckles.  Cain't just leave all this layin around. SOUND    G's GUN DRAWN AND COCKED GRISHAM    Now! LEM    [to dealer, cocky] You'll look after this til I get back? DEALER    Uh... certainly. GRISHAM    I'll do it!  I will! SOUND    CHAIR SLOWLY MOVES, LEM'S SPUR-STEPS, STANDS LEM    Rightchere in front of all these good folks?  And leave the dealer to clean up the mess?  [tsks]  Let's at least be civilized and take this on outside. 3_EASIER MUSIC    BACK TO NOW SOUND    HORSES WALKING FANSHAW    Seems as if it would be a great deal easier. LEM    Whazzat? FANSHAW    Shooting someone in the back. LEM    And killin a chicken's easier than takin down a buffalo, but ain't a thing to swell over.  Ain't no pride in the easy way.  FANSHAW    Backshooting would gain you notoriety just as quickly. LEM    It's all about how folks look at you... and how they see you. MUSIC    BACK TO FLASHBACK 4_WARMUP GRISHAM    Are you stepping? LEM    What flavor of tarantula juice got you fit to wake snakes?  Milk?  [insulting that he can't hold his liquor] GRISHAM    [furious noise]  I got a pill to run you on, and I'm gonna chew back every moment of it. LEM    [to the crowd] Righchere's a rumbustious fellow for you.  SOUND    DRINKS DOWN HIS LIQUOR, SLAMS IT DOWN LEM    Barkeep?  Have me a shot of top mark waitin. SOUND    WALKS OUT, SLOWLY GRISHAM    You look at me while I'm a talking to you! LEM    [walking out] You say somethin' more wheat than chaff, mebbe I will. 5_RATTLING FANSHAW    Were you trying to upset his equilibrium? LEM    What's that when it's at home? FANSHAW    uh - Throw him off - make him upset and more likely to make mistakes. LEM    Rattlin.  Yup.  There's as much head as hand in a proper showdown.  Not that this was one o' them. FANSHAW    Why not?  He called you out. LEM    He was halfway round on rotgut.  Not a nugget's chance agin me.  Even if he had all his [careful] equilibriums about him. FANSHAW    But you stepped out with him?  Even knowing he had no chance? LEM    A'course.  He wouldn't take no.  Drunk fellers who ain't gettin their way are as likely to shoot just about anyone.  I reckoned I was a-helpin, putting him down. FANSHAW    [a bit touchy] And you couldn't simply injure him or knock him out - he had to die? LEM    Ain't no place for fine feelins when there's a man with a gun a-facin you.  And ain't no time to aim all purty and shoot him just so.  You hit hard and put him down, cause if you don't, he'll do it to you.  That's the part you cain't get away from - one or t'other's likely for boot hill, and you GOTTA face it that way. 6_SHOWDOWN MUSIC    BACK TO FLASHBACK SOUND    OUTSIDE NOW GRISHAM    You ready? LEM    Why trouble yerself to call me out anyhow?  I kill someone yer riled over? GRISHAM    [duh] Yer the Deadeye Kid! LEM    [duh] Yep.  [beat] That's your sole entire reason?  You wanna walk in my boots? GRISHAM    No faster way to make a name, than laying out a name. SOUND    THEY MOVE TO EITHER SIDE OF THE SOUNDSCAPE SOUND    GUN BEING CHECKED, LEM LEM    And o'course it gots to be a callout.  [digsut, sarcasm] No one wants to be the next Robert Ford.  [man who backshot his friend Jesse James] GRISHAM    Come on!  Kick it up, Deadeye!  Less'n yer yellow! SOUND    LEM - DIRT PATTERS - checking the wind] LEM    [maddenginly cool] Oh.  I'm ripe and ready to drop. SOUND    TENSION NOISE, CROWD NOISE, THEN SUDDEN FLURRY OF GUNFIGHT. SOUND    G - BODY DROP SOUND    LEM - GUN INTO HOLSTER.  A MOMENT.  FEET WALK BACK UP INTO SALOON 7_ENJOY MUSIC    BACK TO NOW FANSHAW     [relenting a bit] I suppose it's very like being in battle - not a good place to have consideration for the other fellow. LEM    Have to ice over that pond.  Hard and cold.  Hard and cold. FANSHAW    I- I do apologize for sounding disapproving.  I want to assure you, it's the process that... well... seems so very pointless. LEM    [a litle lighter] Men'll be men. FANSHAW    But men can behave in a civilized manner!  Look at we Brits. LEM    [grunt - half laugh half dismissive] FANSHAW    Do you enjoy it? LEM    [very mixed feelings] Enjoy? FANSHAW    Throughout history there have been men who reveled in killing, in battle. LEM    Hmmm.  [musing] There's a fire that burns you at that moment, like bugs in the skin. LEM    S'like the best whiskey and the moment you almost fall off a cliff, and being with the love of your life, all at the same damn time.  FANSHAW    The thrill of danger? LEM    That, but even more so.  If'n you just want danger, you go climbin cliffs or breakin broncs.  This is starin into the eyes of death - death right there and then and ain't no "maybe so" about it.  Kill or be killed.  [beat, then not quite truthful]  Enjoy?  No.  FANSHAW    Sometimes a person's strength is in making the right choice, even when it might pain them to do so. LEM    I reckon. 8_WINNER MUSIC    FLASH BACK AMB    INSIDE SALOON, HUSHED SOUND    GUNSHOT, OUTSIDE WOMAN    [gasps] SOUND    [CROWD NOISE, OUTSIDE], THEN OMINOUS BOOTS ON WOOD, SALOON DOOR OPENS SOUND    PIANO PLAYS, CHATTER BEGINS AGAIN LEM    [voiceover]  there's also this way people have of lookin at you - like yer the best.  Used be I din't see the fear beneath it. SOUND    BOTTLE POURS, GLASS SET DOWN BARTENDER    Your shot, Mister. LEM    [drinks big, then bragging] My second shot in two minutes! SOUND    Forced laughter from the crowd, warps out a bit. 9_HUNKER MUSIC    BACK TO NOW LEM    [brisk] It's coming down dusk.  Need to find a place to hunker fer the night. FANSHAW    I shall keep an eye out for-- [dread] oh! LEM    Whazzat? FANSHAW    Look - the horizon! LEM    Signal fires, and a lot of em.  Damn. FANSHAW    They're a little far off to get a better look at.  We shall... have to return, shan't we? LEM    Someone's gotta warn the town.  Whether it's injuns or sumpin else, looks like an ambush on the march. FANSHAW    [weakly] Surely the garrison maintains lookouts? LEM    Not so much that I saw.  They're purt near closed up shop, from the looks back there.  FANSHAW    [heavy sigh]  Right, then.  SOUND    DISMOUNT, SHIFTING A FEW THINGS FROM HORSE TO HORSE LEM    You worried about your lady friend? FANSHAW    She's neither a lady nor a friend.  But whatever she might have to say will matter to none but me.  [change of tone]  We are a couple of hours out. LEM    Horses ain't fresh, but I weren't pushin.  We can get back before them out there can get into spittin distance. SOUND    MOUNT OTHER HORSE FANSHAW    [resigned but determined] Shall we? MUSIC     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 3 1_WONT SPOOK SOUND    READYING FOR BATTLE LEM    If'n you got a fresh horse, I kin go scout some fer you. COMMANDER    You've done enough already, stranger.  Ain't even your fight. LEM    I know where they're at, and I got some idea of where they're likely to be by the time I get back there.  Give me one horse ain't like to spook, and I'll-- COMMANDER    I'll have to send a man along with you. LEM    That's fine.  Make sure he ain't like to spook neither. 2_LISETTE SOUND    [above scene plays out in the background] LISETTE    And here I thought you had run away and left me all alone.  FANSHAW    [sigh] Why don't we step outside to have this conversation? LISETTE    No.  I like seeing what the "menfolk" are up to.  [frustrated noise] What I wouldn't give to be able to leave this rattletrap town.  I'm still not sure how you did that.  Or why you came back. FANSHAW    We had to warn the garrison. LISETTE    Always full of suprises, aren't you - and yet still sanctimonious.  Fanshaw, dear old chum.  Are you not afraid of what I might say? FANSHAW    Any concern you might cause me is negligible when weighed against the potential danger to others. LISETTE    [surprised laugh]  Hah!  All you superior little snobs, with your noses in the air!  And deep down, all just as afraid as the rest of us. FANSHAW    I've no idea what you're talking about, and I don't care to find out.  Whatever you plan to do, just get on with it.  We have a job to do. LISETTE    Wait! FANSHAW    [long sigh]  Yes? LISETTE    Shall I wish you "good luck"? FANSHAW    I doubt I shall need any.  But I thank you for the sentiment, Miss Carmichael, however grudgingly bestowed. 3_JULIET FLASHBACK JULIET    Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself. FANSHAW    I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo. JULIET     What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night So stumblest on my counsel? ROMEO     By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself-- SOUND    POUNDING LISETTE    Oh heavens!  Not again! MAN    [calling from off] Sorry. SOUND    POUNDING STOPS LISETTE    Try that scene again from the top.  Romeo? FANSHAW    [sigh] Yes? LISETTE    Couldn't you try to be a bit more ... masculine? JULIET    Oh, I like "him".  So terribly byronic. FANSHAW    I'll see what I can do. 4_SCOTTY SOUND    PACKING A HORSE SCOTTY    Sir? LEM    Yeah? SCOTTY    Private Scott.  Commander Bennington told me to report to you. LEM    [sigh] Right.  You ever shot that for real? SCOTTY    O'course. LEM    Against a person? SCOTTY    Well, against animals. LEM    Right. GRISHAM    Not everyone can be you. LEM    [sighs] SCOTTY    Don't you worry!  I ain't afraid! GRISHAM    This pullet ain't even got pinfeathers yet.  You get him killed, you gonna adda a notch fer him too? LEM    You got a horse, Scott? SCOTTY    Everyone calls me Scotty. GRISHAM    Later, they'll just call him dead. LEM    Scotty.  Right.  You gotta horse? SCOTTY    Over there. GRISHAM    [rueful] My damn horse.  Serving in the army like the rest of the idjets.  LEM    Well, go and get'im. SCOTTY    Right, sir! GRISHAM    Ain't he a little young?  You should oughtta throw him back. LEM    I'm stuck with him.  And I never kept notches. GRISHAM    That ain't what I heered. LEM    Lot o' tales goin round - ain't a one of 'em naught but sagebrush smoke. GRISHAM    And the tale 'bout how you kilt me? LEM    [sharp intake] I don't brag on none o' that no more. GRISHAM    So, you think I like being plumb forgot? LEM    If I thought tellin about it would ease you on to the next thing, you think I wouldn't? SCOTTY    Tell me about what?  Injuns?  [certain] I know all about them. LEM    [sigh] 5_SCOUTING AMB    CRICKETS SOUND    HORSES FANSHAW    They're still out of range.  I can just barely catch snippets of sound at my farthest reach, but I'm fairly certain it is not Indians. LEM    Hmm? FANSHAW    I can make out English and Spanish.  Are we anywhere near the Mexico territories? LEM    [quiet] Ain't impossible.  Deserters, mebbe. SCOTTY    What ain't impossible? LEM    We're gettin close.  Best to go on foot.  SCOTTY    These here horses are my responsibility! LEM    Best you stay and watch'em, then.  FANSHAW    Don't forget the satchel. SOUND    CREAK LEM    Like I'd forget that. SCOTTY    I wouldna gone through your kit or nothin!  I ain't no finger monkey. FANSHAW    [laughs]  I ne'er heard that one before. SOUND    REMOVING SPURS LEM    Ain't that I don't trust you, son, just might need me some things.  If I was you, I'd take them horses up yonder - forge as far into the high rough as you can, but keep where you can see if I come tearin out of there.  You reckon? SCOTTY    How'll you find us? LEM    I'll find you.  Just be ready.  And don't shoot me. SOUND    QUIET FEET ON DIRT 6_JULIET2 FLASHBACK    echoey hallway LISETTE    [running up] Fanshaw? FANSHAW    Carmichael. LISETTE    [trying to start a fight] We've been reconsidering your costume.  Those leggings are positively scandalous. FANSHAW     [bland] Romeo can hardly appear in bloomers.  Would be rather difficult to climb to the balcony. LISETTE    Perhaps plain trousers, then.  [sly] Though I understand you were quite keen on showing off your legs. FANSHAW    [rueful] There is a great deal to be said for the freedom of movement.  [dismissive] But a costume is a costume.  I certainly shan't make a fuss. LISETTE    [annoyed at not being able to get a rise out of F] Very well. 7_FANSHAW SCOUTS SOUND    SLIGHT RUSTLE OF LEAVES LEM    [very quiet] Close enough? FANSHAW    I'll have a look round.  SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM    [very loud] You hiding from something? LEM    [reaction noise, quickly stifled] GRISHAM    Ooh!  Scairt you, din't I? LEM    [whispered] Made me jump damn near out my skin. GRISHAM    [smug and evil] Well that's good, then.  Looks like I can get my own back on you. LEM    What all do you want? GRISHAM    Apart from you in a pine box?  I'm hankerin to be alive agin, but that ain't gon happen. LEM    Not likely, nope.  How'd you follow us? GRISHAM    What kind of tenderfoot you take me for that I can't follow my own damn horse? LEM    [half realizing something] Damn. SOUND    FANSHAW COMES BACK FANSHAW    Who the devil is this? GRISHAM    Who the devil are you? LEM    What'd ya find out? FANSHAW    A motley crew, but definitely girding themselves for battle.  GRISHAM    What kinda girlie man are ya?  Highfaluting slicker talk! FANSHAW    [sigh, but determined] They're half mounted already, but I could make out that they're waiting til after midnight, to make certain of finding as many people abed as possible. GRISHAM    Put you in a dress, and I bet everyone'd wanna dance! FANSHAW    We need to get moving. GRISHAM    I think you need a shave, girlie man. SOUND    KNIFE FANSHAW    [finally breaking concentration] God damn you all to hell! SOUND    PUNCH, KNEE TO GROIN LEM    [trying not to laugh] GRISHAM    Oooohhhh. FANSHAW    Marquis of Queensbury be damned.  We need to go. GRISHAM    [different kind of ooooh - like he's falling, or being dragged off] SOUND    SUCK NOISE AND GRISHAM VANISHES LEM    What'd you do to him? FANSHAW    I didn't!  I couldn't-- I... haven't the faintest idea?  8_JULIET3 SOUND    TAP ON DOOR LISETTE    Fanshaw? FANSHAW    Come in. LISETTE    I've brought you your hat-- whatever are you doing? FANSHAW    I was considering what I might do with my hair.  To create the right ilusion. LISETTE    That is what the HAT is for. FANSHAW    I prefer not.  It looks like an ottoman on my head.  LISETTE    And Romeo does not wear a moustache. FANSHAW    Whyever not? LISETTE     On the stage, moustaches are only for villains and army colonels! FANSHAW    [considering] I might just cut my hair. LISETTE    That is the final straw!  Miss Peabody said this would happen. FANSHAW    What? LISETTE    That you would take too many liberties.  You are out. FANSHAW    Out? LISETTE    [snidely satisfied] You are no longer a member of this production. 9_DEAD SCOTT SOUND    QUIET BOOTSTEPS LEM    [very quiet] Scotty? FANSHAW    [off a bit] Oh, good god. LEM    Do I need to keep quiet? FANSHAW    I don't see anyone.  Anyone... hostile. SOUND    QUICK, NOISIER FOOTSTEPS SCOTTY    [as if waking up] Oooh! LEM    What is--  [tragic regret] Ohh. SCOTTY    They come in out of nowheres! FANSHAW    I don't doubt it. SCOTTY    And they took the damn horses, Mister Roberts! FANSHAW    I think that just might explain-- SCOTTY    And who in blue blazes is this feller? LEM    [heavy sigh]  Ayup. CLOSING       Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 4 1_DROP EVERYTHING SOUND    UNBUCKLING, BAG DOWN, ETC. LEM    Good thing I had that with me.   Though now I gotta leave it. SOUND    SATCHEL DOWN FANSHAW    Of course. SCOTTY    I'm really sorry about this, sir. LEM    I doubt me you coulda stopped it, son.  And you been punished enough. SCOTTY    What do you mean?  They musta knocked me out, but I don't even feel it. FANSHAW    I'll deal with him. LEM    I'll leave you to it.  SCOTTY    What are you doing? LEM    Gonna haveta hoof it back to town - cain't take naught but my guns.  You gon' be all right? SOUND    RUSTLE OF BUSHES FANSHAW    Well, we won't be able to do much to stop them if they came across your bag, but that looks like a good hiding place.  Especially in the dark. SCOTTY    Can't do anything?  What are you talking about?  FANSHAW    Hush, Scotty.  Let Lem get moving and we'll have a good long talk. SOUND    BOOTS RUN OFF 2_REBEL CAMP SOUND    MANY HORSES, MEN CHATTER, etc. SOUND    GRISHAM STUMBLES IN GRISHAM    Where the hell?   [Thunder?]!  Goddam rustlers!  SOUND    MEN WALK BY LEADER    Two horses, two saddles.  I don't like it. SECOND    Guerrero had the kid down before we realized.  But if there's another scout, he won't be able to get anywhere - at least not soon enough.   LEADER    [thinks, then definite] We must move up the charge. SECOND    We're nearly ready.  3_NO HEAVEN SCOTTY    [trying not to cry] So that's IT?  I mean this is it?  No nothing left?  No heaven? FANSHAW    There are so many things even I don't understand.  I wish I could offer you more in the way of consolation. SCOTTY    But don't no one ever pass along? FANSHAW    Most do.  And I'm even aware of those who spend some time like this, and then pass on, though there's no easy answer for how or why it happens. SCOTTY    And I won't never even get to be with a woman. FANSHAW    [uncomfortable] Oh, dear.  That is a shame. SCOTTY    What's it like? FANSHAW    [dread] What is ... what... like? SCOTTY     Being with a woman? FANSHAW    Ohhh.... 4_RUNNING LEM    [heavy but measured breathing] SOUND    RUNNING FOOTSTEPS - TROT, NOT DASH LEM    [muttered] Dammit.  Leastways there's a good moon. 4A_FLASHBACK MUSIC    FLASHBACK SOUND    NIGHT, DOGS, CHICKENS - ALARUMS SOUND    ANGRY MOB, OFF ROBERTS    [yelling, off]  Leastways, there's a good moon!  PIEDMONT    [up close, heavy breathing, trying to be quiet] ROBERTS    [off, yelling]  Spread out!  Don't let that traitor get away!  Where's that rope? PIEDMONT    [gasp, then trying to breathe even quieter] SOUND    VERY SLOW CREAK, SHUTTING DOOR ON THE NOISE. YOUNG LEM    [about 12] Whatchoo doin', mister? PIEDMONT    [terrible gasp, smothers a scream] 6_EXPERIENCE FANSHAW    My experience is not ... vast, but I have had one or two ... romantic encounters. SCOTTY    Well, you're a man of the world, ain't you?  You been all over the place! FANSHAW    Oh dear.  [up]  I've spent most of my life deep in study.  I suppose I've always felt there would be time - later - to settle down to a family and all.  SCOTTY    Me too.  Not the studying, but the ... "later". FANSHAW    [after a moment]  Women are.... soft. SCOTTY    [eager] Yeah? FANSHAW    And round.  In places where men aren't. SCOTTY    But they do got legs, don't they? FANSHAW    [flabbergasted]  What? SCOTTY    You never don't see none of them out of skirts!  Who knows what they got under there? FANSHAW    Well, that I can answer - generally, women are made the same as men.  Arms, legs, heads - well, one head.  You understand. SCOTTY     [avid] And bosoms. FANSHAW    Yes.  Yes, that. 7_VARMINT SOUND    RUNNING, LEM'S HEAVY BREATHING UNDER THIS? PIEDMONT    Shh!  Don't let anyone know I am here. YOUNG LEM    You the varmint they's looking fer? PIEDMONT    There is no call to use such language, boy.  Do you know this area? YOUNG LEM    I should hope I do!  My pa's Mr. Jorgenson's top man. PIEDMONT    [sarcastic] So he's the one leading the search. YOUNG LEM    [pride] Yup. SOUND    OUTSIDE, THE ROW GETS CLOSER ROBERTS    [outside]  Get him, Honeysuckle, there's a good bitch! YOUNG LEM    [pride and fear] That's my pa! PIEDMONT    But you're not going to tell him I am in here? YOUNG LEM    I don't fancy getting whupped.  I ain't sposed to be in the barn at night.  8_YOUNG LOVE FANSHAW    I was in love.  When I was very young. SCOTTY    Was she really purtty? FANSHAW    [sigh] I thought the sun rose and set with my beloved's face.  Have you ever seen hair so fine and blonde that your fingers desperately wanted to touch it? SCOTTY    You talk so flowery, I bet all the girls jest love you! FANSHAW    Our parents objected.  They said we were too young, and I was packed off to school. SCOTTY    What didja do? FANSHAW    I waited.  I nursed my deep love, and remained constant, like patience on a rock. SCOTTY    You waited on a rock? FANSHAW    I waited at school.  I was determined that one day, when we were old enough that no one could object, I would return and we would be joined forever. SCOTTY    What happened? FANSHAW    I made my way to the object of my affection and...discovered... SCOTTY    Yes? FANSHAW    That I was the only one who had bothered to wait. SCOTTY    She'd gone and -- FANSHAW    My "dearest love" had married another.  Had, and I quote "almost forgotten about that summer." SCOTTY    Damn!  Women are right terrible. FANSHAW    Don't fault women, boy.  There are quite as many constant and sweet-natured females as there are fickle and wicked men.  We all deserve a "heaping helping" of the blame. 8_DISCOVERED SOUND    UNDER - LEM WALKING NOW, STILL BREATHING HARD, PACING HIMSELF YOUNG LEM    They're fixing to hang you? PIEDMONT    Yes. YOUNG LEM    Why?  What for? PIEDMONT    We were on opposite sides in a fight. YOUNG LEM    You mean the war?  Hmph.  My pa says why keep slaves when you can hire men for even cheaper and don't have to sell them if'n they don't do the job right. PIEDMONT    [incensed] You think your pa knows so much about everything, don't you? YOUNG LEM    [a bit afraid] Well, he knows where you are. SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN ROBERTS    There he is! MAN    Get him! PIEDMONT    [scream] SOUND    SCUFFLE, KNIFE DRAWN YOUNG LEM    [gasp, cut off by hand] PIEDMONT    I'll kill your boy, just see if I won't! 10_STUCK SCOTTY    You said you know about some folks what was like this for a time and then moved along? FANSHAW    Yes.  We've encountered one or two. SCOTTY    How'd it work? FANSHAW    Work? SCOTTY    I mean, I don't wanna be stuck out here, middle o' nowhere, all by my lonesome, forever! FANSHAW    I don't know that I have an answer for you.  I've only been - like this - for a... a couple of years, myself, and haven't seen a fraction of what Lem has. SCOTTY    Years?  You been dead for years and ain't moved on? FANSHAW    We... help people.  And I get to see the world - [half pleased, half rueful] hmph... in perfect safety.  11_SHOT SOUND    LEM RUNNING AGAIN PIEDMONT    [panicky, but trying to be placating] I am going to have to ask you to take a step back, sir!  My hand could slip a fraction of an inch, and that's all it would take.   YOUNG LEM    [gasp]  Pa? SOUND    GUNSHOT SOUND    TWO BODY DROPS ROBERTS    [cold] You understand we cain't leave that kind of critter running loose, don't you? 12_BUSINESS FANSHAW    Some folks stay because they have unfinished business, and once the business is completed, they are able pass on.  SCOTTY    Business?  I ain't never been in business. FANSHAW    No, no.  For instance, one young man was able to move along once his murderer was uncovered and hung. SCOTTY    Oh.  I spose that could happen. FANSHAW    Or perhaps when the horses have been recovered, since that was your task at the time of your death. SCOTTY    [very down] Oh, right. FANSHAW    [cheering]  Or, when the town has been warned.  That could very well have been at the forefront of your thoughts. SCOTTY    [wailing] Oh no!  FANSHAW    Whatever is the matter? SCOTTY    What if it's ladies? FANSHAW    [careful] What if what is "ladies"? SCOTTY    What if I can't never pass on til I been with a lady? FANSHAW    [cold, practical] That would be most extremely awkward.  Worry about that once we find out if you can get back to town or not. 13_WHUPPING YOUNG LEM    [sniffles a bit] ROBERTS    You crying, boy? YOUNG LEM    [stifling it] No sir. ROBERTS    Good.  Now run and let Mrs. Roberts have a look at that scratch. SOUND    A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN TURN YOUNG LEM    [blank] You shot him dead. ROBERTS    Yup. YOUNG LEM    In the dark, and on the draw, and din't even hit me. ROBERTS    Yup.  [beat]  You asking something? YOUNG LEM    What if he'd'a kilt me?  Or what if you did? ROBERTS    [long pause]  Life's hard, boy.  You cain't let folks get away with wrongdoing, no matter who they got a grip on. YOUNG LEM    Oh. SOUND    BARN DOOR SWINGS OPEN, COUPLE OF STEPS ROBERTS    Lem?  YOUNG LEM    [almost a gasp] Yessir? ROBERTS    [casual] Don't think I'm not gon' whale you for being in the barn by night, neither. [neeether] YOUNG LEM    [quiet, resentful] Yes, sir. 14_CRICKET SCOTTY    It ain't fair!  I'm being punished and I ain't never even done nothing! FANSHAW    Life is not fair.  Death even less so.  SCOTTY    I-- FANSHAW    [cutting him off] Still, I expect there must be some sort of answer.  SCOTTY    Answer? FANSHAW    Very likely, when they take your body back to town, you will accompany it, and there will find what you need to do to pass on. SCOTTY    What if they don't take it - me back? FANSHAW    Lem will see that they do. SCOTTY    Oh.  And what about you, Mister Fanshaw? FANSHAW    What about me? SCOTTY    Don't you get to pass on too? FANSHAW    Oh.  But you see Scotty, I have no wish to. SCOTTY    No?  Why? FANSHAW    I still have many things to see.  And I feel like I'm doing good here.  There's a story I read some time back, a sort of fable, about a puppet that comes to life. SCOTTY    That's crazy talk. FANSHAW    That's why it's a story.  In the tale, a cricket is asked to stay with him and make sure he does the right things. SCOTTY    All right.  Wait, a cricket, like a bug? FANSHAW    A talking bug, but yes, a bug.  SCOTTY    That's just plumb crazy. FANSHAW    True.  [gasp]  Look at the horizon!  I think they are on the move! SCOTTY    Is there something we can do? FANSHAW    This is one of those times I truly wish there was. CLOSING     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 5 1_COMING SOUND    IN TOWN - HORSES, MEN, READYING FOR BATTLE COMMANDER    [commands]  We need more shot at the western boundary!  Get someone over there! SOLDIER    Yessir! SOUND    FEET RUN OFF SHARPLY SOUND    DISTANT APPROACH OF PAINED, SLOW RUNNING SOLDIER2    Sir!  Someone's coming!  On foot! COMMANDER    On foot?  SENTRY    [off] Halt! LEM    [breathless, with long gasps] I can't... If I stop...  I'm gon fall down...  And I gotta get to...  The commander. SENTRY    Stop, I say! COMMANDER    Let him on through. LEM    They're a-movin.  Deserters 'n comancheros.  Have guns.  COMMANDER    Why are you-- LEM    Kilt Scotty.  Took the horses.  Look sharp. Ungh! SOUND    FALLS DOWN COMMANDER    Are you all right?  [up] Someone get Doc! LEM    I'll be [coughing fit] fine. Jest let me lie till the shakin goes off. 2_SPOOK HORSES SCOTTY    We got to do something! FANSHAW    And just what do you have in mind?  I've already done all I can, scouting them for Lem.  By the time they come close enough for us to get a look at, they will be moving fast enough that we shall hardly have time to observe. SCOTTY    Can't we spook the horses or nothing?  That's what haints do, isn't it? FANSHAW    I was with you the entire trip out from town.  Did the horses seem spooked to you? SCOTTY    [really down] No. FANSHAW    If Lem makes it back in time, there are ways we can help him.  Otherwise, we are merely spectators at this show. 3_TONIC DOC    Can you get yourself around this? LEM    [still hoarse, puffing] Tonic? DOC    [shrug] Mostly brandy.  Medicinal. LEM    [rusty chuckle] Thanks, doc. [drinks] LISETTE     Oh, goodness.  I believe you are Fanshaw's dear friend.  LEM    [coughs] DOC    Din't say it was GOOD brandy. LEM    [hawks, spits, clear throat]  Hits the spot.  LISETTE    [calculating] And not able to walk away.  [cruel chuckle] How perfectly jolly. DOC     The commander's gone off to rally the men, but they're like to need you to guide them.  You up fer it? LEM    Will be... shortly.  Any chance of a mite to eat?  It's been a powerful long night, and not looking to roll up any time soon. 4_DO SOMETHING SCOTTY    He's the only one what can hear us? FANSHAW    We've come across... others.  But they are very rare. SCOTTY    [yelling] I want to DO something!  I want to help! FANSHAW    There is no need to make such a ... a ruckus!  I am in precisely the same predicament! SCOTTY    But I-- GRISHAM    [off]  Will you two shut up?  They're trying to sneak up on your position! FANSHAW    Oh dear.  Come along. SCOTTY    Where? FANSHAW    To do the only productive thing - gather as much information as possible. 5_SADDLED SOUND    MEN READY TO GO SOUND    MOUNT UP LEM    [sigh of relief, but also soreness]  COMMANDER    You doing all right, there, feller? LEM    Better saddle than boots.  I fair run the soles offa these. COMMANDER     Morning comes, we'll stand you a new set.  Least we can do.  Let's go. SOUND    HORSES MOVE OUT LEM    Commander? COMMANDER    Hmm? LEM    Rather than meet them headlong, since ain't no way to know how far they come, might could I suggest a defensive position? COMMANDER    This town is not a good place for that.  Too spread out.  And there's no way to get everyone into the fort, not without leaving near everything they own ripe for the picking. LEM    Nah - I'm a-thinkin just this side of the bridge, right about halfway out.  Bridge and creek - they ain't much, but if we can catch them this side of it, put their backs to water, and use the treeline for cover-- COMMANDER    I like the way you think, hombre.  [up] Company!  [attention!] 6_FIGHT GRISHAM    Ain't no way you're taking me by surprise again, you-- ow! SOUND    PUNCH FANSHAW    [casual] shut up. SCOTTY    That was a good'un! But what if he lands one on you - he's awful big! FANSHAW    Leave him!  [quiet, moving away]  We can't actually be hurt.  But not everyone realizes that, and many feel the pain, even when there is no reason to.  I learned that the hard way. GRISHAM    [off] I'm a-gonna get you! FANSHAW    Blast!  He may not be able to harm me, but he can annoy and distract, and make it difficult to get anything constructive done. SCOTTY    Maybe - maybe I could keep him from bothering you? FANSHAW    How? SCOTTY     Well, I been plumb angry since I got kilt, and my momma says sometimes the best way to get over anger, if you don't got no pie, is to-- GRISHAM    Kill you, you girly man! SCOTTY    [grunt as he punches him] GRISHAM    oof! SCOTTY    Better'n pie!  You go on, Mr. Fanshaw, and do what you gotta. FANSHAW    Good lad. 7_GRANDKIDS LEM    [muttered] Fanshaw?  Damn.  Too far out.  COMMANDER    What's the terrain like beyond the bridge? LEM    Nothing much to speak of.  Some hills.  A ridge off to the north where first we saw them.  No place fer them to make a stand tween here and there, though. COMMANDER    Good.  Cain't let this sort of thing go.  LEM    Course not.  COMMANDER    You got the extra shot you needed, did you? LEM    Ayup.  Had to leave all o' mine cached back with Scotty. COMMANDER    You're sure he's ... dead? LEM    I'm afraid I do know dead when I see it. COMMANDER    [sad] That's too bad. LEM    Kin? COMMANDER    Nephew.  LEM    [trying to ease] He went down fightin. COMMANDER    That don't give my sister grandbabies. LEM    [symp] Nope, it shore don't. 8_PIRATES SOUND    MUCH CREEPING FANSHAW    Looks like about three score.  Hardly a fair fight, sneaking up on a defenseless town at night.  Like pirates. 8A_FLASHBACK MUSIC    FLASHBACK AMB    BRIGHT SUNNY DAY NANNY    Come along in now, bunny bug. YOUNG CLARA    Stop calling me that, nanny!  I'm very nearly 10 years old. NANNY    You'll always be my little bunny bug.  Oh!  Whatever is that tea towel doing on your head?  [gasp of fear]  Did you hurt yourself?  Show nanny! YOUNG CLARA    No!  I am a pirate. NANNY    Do not be so silly.  There are no pirates. YOUNG CLARA    Of course there are.  They are in books, so they must be real. NANNY    Besides, you cannot be a pirate. YOUNG CLARA    Well not just NOW.  When I am bigger, I shall be able to do whatever I want. 9_WASPS COMMANDER    Did you see how big a force they had? LEM    Not to count them, but it was bigger'n I thought.  At least 30, probably more. COMMANDER    [skeptical] Really? LEM    They had a dozen cookin fires goin, and you don't make a fire to feed a lone fellow. COMMANDER    [considers, then agrees] No, you don't.  LEM    'Sides, better to expect a whole hive of wasps than be surprised by one too many. COMMANDER    [chuckles]  Sound thinking.  [up]  Lieutenant! 10_BAG SOUND    STILL MUCH MOVEMENT SOUND    SCOTTY AND GRISHAM, FIGHTING SCOTTY    [pleased] You tired yet, feller?  I ain't even blowed! GRISHAM    [tired] You little whippersnapper!  Think you can pull a man's whiskers and walk away! FANSHAW    [muttered] There are some distinct benefits to being dead.  More than he will ever know.  [gasp] No. RUFFIAN1    Hey!  I found something! SOUND    CREAK OF LEATHER - LEM'S GEAR FANSHAW    [worried] Damn!  Lem's bag! RUFFIAN2    What? SECOND    Silence! RUFFIAN2    [whispered] bring it - we'll split it later! RUFFIAN1    Split it?  Nonsense!  It's mine, whatever it is! SECOND    [whispered] Keep moving! 11_SCOUT AHEAD COMMANDER    [ordering, but hushed] Take your men and circle round up thataway.  Get to high ground and cut off retreat. BOB    Yessir! LEM    If you don't mind, sir, I'us thinkin I might scout on up ahead a mite.  COMMANDER    You aren't even being paid to be part of this, fellow, why do you keep risking yourself? LEM    [shrug] Someone's gotta.  'sides I had to leave my kit behind, and wanna get it if I can before someone else lays hands on it. COMMANDER    Valuables? LEM    Nothin worth money, but some things cain't be replaced. COMMANDER    [teasing a bit] Go on then, but if you see them coming, you'll come back and tell us first, eh? LEM    [chuckle] I reckon. 12_LEAD ROPE SCOTTY    Mister Fanshaw!  That fellow just vanished!  Like he flew away, whilst I was a-hittin on him! FANSHAW    I fear I shall be gone shortly as well. SCOTTY    Why? FANSHAW    I am not sure of his reasons, but I must stay with the bag.  Now that it has been found... SCOTTY    Why?  Keeping an eye on it? FANSHAW    No.  There's something in there - Oh!  It's moving.  Stay with me as long as you can.  SCOTTY    Why can't I--? FANSHAW    Shh!  [very hurried] Picture a rope tied to something, say, to you - your body, over there.  And you are on the other end. SCOTTY    Like a training rope? [ASK PAT] FANSHAW    Basically, yes.  You can go anywhere, within the circle made by that rope. SCOTTY    [figuring it out] So you're ... tied to that bag? FANSHAW    Yes!  [gasp] Bloody thieves! SOUND    FANSHAW SUCKED AWAY 13_BE A BOY YOUNG CLARA    I am going to be a pirate!  I shall sail the seven seas and steal all the gold! NANNY    Stealing is very wicked.  YOUNG CLARA    But you can't be a pirate without stealing!  Then you're just a sailor! NANNY    And young ladies do not become pirates.  Young ladies become mommies. YOUNG CLARA    Or nannies. NANNY    [reassuring] Don't fret yourself, bunny bug.  You shall be a mummy. YOUNG CLARA    I should rather be a nanny.  Mummies are boring.  Nannies have things to do. NANNY    [sigh] Mummies have things to do too. YOUNG CLARA    I don't want to be a mummy, I want to be a pirate!  I want to see the world! NANNY    [stern] There are many thing in this world, Clara Fanshaw, that are only meant for boys. YOUNG CLARA    Then I want to be a boy! END     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 6 1_READY SOUND    NIGHT, MEN BEING QUIET, HORSES OFF COMMANDER    Yer sure you wanna go on out there, all on your own?? LEM    I'm best on my own, and I don't want another of yer boys on my conscience. COMMANDER    [acknowledging] Scotty. LEM    If I can't see my way to get back and warn you quick enough, I'll shoot off twice-- COMMANDER    [warning] They'll know you're there. LEM    I kin look after myself.  Two shots means it's a-comin, and I spect after that there'ull be plenty more shots to keep y'all busy.  I best get a move on. COMMANDER    One thing. LEM    Yeah? COMMANDER    One of my men swore he'd seen you before. LEM    [down] Oh. COMMANDER    And that you're the Deadeye kid. LEM    I- COMMANDER    [overriding, but clearly lying] I told him not to be so credulous.  Deadeye Kid looks nothing like that man that's about to save our town. LEM    [realizing] Ri-ight. COMMANDER    [serious] Don't make me a liar. LEM    I kin only do my best. SOUND    WALKS AWAY 2_BLACKGUARDS SOUND    COMMOTION, MANY MEN, HORSES, TRAVELING LEADER    [loud whisper] We'll leave the horses near the stream and sneak up. FANSHAW    Blackguards. RUFFIAN2    [whisper] What's in that bag you found anyways? RUFFIAN1    [whisper] Ain't had no time, but it's shore heavy. RUFFIAN2    [whisper]  Heavy is good!  Mebbe it's gold! RUFFIAN1    Well, I still ain't sharing! FANSHAW    Such stimulating conversation.  I wonder how far ahead of these ruffians I can manage to stay.  3_TALLYHO SOUND    STEALTHY MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH, STOPS LEM    Nothin.  [angry hmph] They cain't be too damn far off.  And ridin. FANSHAW    [distant]  Tally-ho!  LEM    [starts to laugh but turns it into a snort] FANSHAW    Halloooooo!  Halloo- [suddenly cut off] LEM    What the devil?  [shrugs, to himself] Well, you can take care of your own damn self. SOUND    RUNNING FEET TAKE OFF 4_STRUGGLE AMB    IN THE ATTACK FORCE GRISHAM     Now I gotcha sorted out! FANSHAW    [muffled noises] SOUND    STRUGGLING GRISHAM    Oh, no you don't!  SOUND    MORE STRUGGLE GRISHAM    I finally figgered out cain't do nothing to hurt me.  Long as I ignore it.  But I can still keep a tight grip on you. FANSHAW    [noise of effort] GRISHAM    [ouch!] Hey!  You bit me!  FANSHAW    Keep ahead of them!!!! GRISHAM    Waitaminute.  [disgusted noise] FANSHAW    [to grisham] Damn you all to--[muffled again] GRISHAM    Stop with all the wiggling, you stupid--  [stunned!] whatthehell? FANSHAW    [noise of effort] SOUND    STRUGGLE, BREAKS FREE GRISHAM    You're a-- ?  FANSHAW    You may be stronger than me, but I am faster. SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM    what the hell?  A female? 5_SIGNAL COMMANDER    He's been gone a fair piece. SOUND    [DISTANT] TWO GUN SHOTS COMMANDER    [commanding, but quiet]  They're coming! SOUND    [command passes along ranks - GET VOICES] COMMANDER    [a bit superior]  I knew that that fellow was no sort of outlaw.  6_PLAN DOS LEADER    Shots? SECOND    Sir? LEADER    Damn.  Someone has seen.  Get El puerco and his fellows.  Tell them plan dos. SECOND    Plan dos, sir? LEADER    They'll circle south and get behind the town.  We get some children in hand, no one will fight any more. SECOND    Yessir! SOUND    RUNS OFF SCOTTY     [torn] I can't just let them-- [plaintive] but what can I do? 7_BUCKETFULL SOUND    HORSES APPROACHING NOTE - Lem is lying in wait, letting the group go past, and plans to pick them off from behind. FANSHAW    [distant but closer, yelling] Lem!  That dead friend of yours is about - watch out! LEM    [muttered] Damn.  And I don' want to go shootin no good horse jest to lay a varmint like that down. SOUND    HORSES BEGIN TO PASS LEM    [very quietly] 30...?  Nearer fifty.  That's a bucketful of wasps. SOUND    SHOTS!  (where the horses went to) LEM    [muttered to self] hold on.  SOUND    NO MORE HORSES COMING LEM    [muttered] almost... GRISHAM    There you are! LEM    [sharp intake of breath]  That don't work on me twice.  Specially when I been warned. GRISHAM    Oh, that girly friend of your'n?  Funny thing about that-- SOUND    GRISHAM IS YANKED AWAY LEM    Good riddance.  And jest in time. SOUND    BEGINS SHOOTING MaN    [shot, fall] 8_HOLD THE LINES COMMANDER    [roaring now] Hold the lines!  More shot, boy! BOY    Yessir! MAN    [hit, argh!] COMMANDER    Stay low! FANSHAW    All seems rather well here.  GRISHAM    There you are. FANSHAW    Bloody hell. GRISHAM    [nasty chuckle] I was just wondring - if I kin grab you, I bet I kin kiss you, little lady! FANSHAW    [dodging] I doubt you'll catch me again, now that I'm watching for you, but I will admit that one advantage to being a ghost is that I needn't make an effort to remain upwind of you. SOUND    FANSHAW OUT 9_RELOAD SOUND    COMMOTION OFF, NOT RIGHT HERE SOUND    RELOADING SOUND    NEARBY HORSE PFFS LEM    That's nine.  SOUND    SLAPS GUN SHUT SCOTTY    [distant, yelling] Someone!  They're circling round!  There's some fellers as are going south to get behind lines! LEM    Damn.  [listens for a second]  Fanshaw?  Damn.  SCOTTY    [yelling]  Please!  Don't let them hurt nobody in town. LEM    [muttered] boy'll yell himself hoarse.  [chuckles]  dead don't get hoarse.  But I gotta get one.  [clucks to horse] SOUND    HORSE BLOWS LEM    [grunts as he swings into the saddle]  Come on. FANSHAW    [a bit distant] Lem? LEM    Wazzat?  There you are! FANSHAW    Close as I can get just now, and can't stay.  That blighter keeps trying to grab me. LEM    Grisham?  Yeah. FANSHAW    The commander seems to be holding well.  The villains have taken heavy losses and are starting to fall apart. LEM    Good.  Can you yell to Scotty, let him know I got his message? FANSHAW    What message? LEM    Just try and tell the boy.  So he can rest hisself.  [to the horse] Geeyah! SOUND    HORSE TAKES OFF FANSHAW    Scotty?  Can you hear me? 10_YOU STAY COMMANDER    Let's clean this up - leave none of them to try and harm the town. CORPORAL    Yessir! Should we capture them, or-- COMMANDER    This is no time to be peaceable.  They set themselves up to attack a settlement, and we have to take serious measures. SOUND    HORSE APPROACHING LEM    [distant] Commander! COMMANDER    Let him through.  [up, to Lem]  Looks like we've got nearly all of them.  SOUND    GUNSHOTS DISTANT COMMANDER    A bit of tidying up to do, but-- SOUND    HORSE PULLS UP and STOPS LEM    [to horse] Whoah!  I overheard a couple at the back, saying they had a force circlin south - dozen men mebbe - to get round any resistance and come up behind.  COMMANDER    My god! LEM    Horse up a few good men, load em up and come with me. COMMANDER    You, boy! BOY    Yessir? COMMANDER    Bring my horse, quickly! LEM    You're needed here, surely? COMMANDER    You're the one who needs a rest, mister Roberts.  My corporal, here, will be happy to hear any other suggestions you might have, but I will be leading my men. LEM    Sound thinkin.  I have been going a bit. COMMANDER    Corporal? CORPORAL    [acknowledging] Yes sir. FANSHAW    Lem?  I think I got through to Scotty, but there's such a distance.  Poor lad, he merely wants to do his duty. SOUND    LEM DISMOUNTS LEM    Let's you and I see if we cain't root out a few more of these varmints.  I see purty well in the dark. CORPORAL    Excellent!  FANSHAW    I'll see what I can turn up. GRISHAM    Found you! FANSHAW    Oh, damn!  GRISHAM    You ain't never getting away from me, you-- FANSHAW    [hits out] GRISHAM    [ungh!] FANSHAW    Have to get him out of here, Lem.  Too distracting. SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM    [laughs triumphantly]  Coward!  But I don't suppose I should be surprised. LEM    [quietly, but deadly serious] You don't stop making a fuss, I'm gon' kill your horse. GRISHAM    What? LEM    You sit still and be quiet or that horse yer so attached to is gonna find itself on the wrong end of a bullet.  You hear me? GRISHAM    [all the bluster gone]  Yeah. LEM    Good.  I don't fancy killin no animal just fer this, but this here's a battle-- SOUND    GUNSHOT LEM    [gasp, hit!] Damn! SOUND    QUICKDRAW, GUNS BLAZE GRISHAM    Hah!  I still gotcha! LEM    [weakening, through gritted teeth] Din't no one see them a-sneakin up?  CORPORAL    [commanding] Men! SOUND    MORE GUNSHOTS LEM    [groan] SOUND    BODY DROP AS HE COLLAPSES END   NEXT EPISODE BEGINS SOUND FADES IN AND OUT COMMANDER    Hold on, there, fellow. LEM    [vague] all's well? COMMANDER    We got em. LEM    My pack? COMMANDER    I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR    Bite down on this.  He's lost a lot of blood. FADE OUT BOOTMAKER    I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them.  You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT WOMAN    Just a little bit of broth, mister.  You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM    [annoyed moan] FANSHAW    You're awake. LEM    [quiet]  Anyone--? FANSHAW    Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM    Good.  I been shot? FANSHAW    At least twice, judging by the bandages.  Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say.  I should have been watching. LEM    [reassuring] Can't leave you to do everythin.   FANSHAW    [awkward pause, then stiffly]  Should I ...go? LEM    Go?  go where? FANSHAW    [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace.  To rest.  I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM    [straining a bit]  Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW    I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM    [satisfied]  Good. FANSHAW    I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM    Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got somethin on yer mind. FANSHAW    Oh. LEM    Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW    [bracing breath]  Yes. LEM    [exasperated snort]  Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW    Yes. LEM    [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW    So she did--? LEM    [shrug]  Yup.  So? FANSHAW    [surprised] So? LEM    You cain't be the first. FANSHAW    First? LEM    Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW    But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM    Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW    I... don't? LEM    'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants.  FANSHAW    What? END

In their first serialized adventure {in 5 parts}, Lem and Fanshaw accompany a "studier of the supernatural" to face something they may never have seen before - a ghost ... or at least a ghost that can affect the "real world". Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid -  J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw -  J. Hoverson Dr. Sullivan - Michael Coleman  {Tales of the Extraordinary} Mr. Cartland - Reynaud LeBoeuf Emma Cartland - Jacquie Duckworth Melody Heath - Melissa Bartell Red - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Hank - Mark Olson Clyde Wishwell - Bob Noble Mr. Baker - Paul Green  {Encyclopedia of Weird Westerns} Add'l voices by Gene Thorkildsen Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock [Old photos used to make Fanshaw purchased from www.recycledrelatives.com] Announcer:  Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme:  "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson -------  No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. **************************************************************** Haunting Melody Cast: [opening credits/Olivia] LEMuel Roberts - Spyder Clarence FANSHAW - julie Dr. SULLIVAN - Michael coleman Mr. CARTLAND - Mrs. EMMA Cartland - Jacquie Duckworth MELODY Heath - RED - HANK - CLYDE Wishwell - Bob Noble Mr. Baker, the real expert - Paul Greene OPENER OLD HOSS    No gunshots herald his approach.  No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. CLOSER OLD HOSS    The lonely cowboy cliché, always riding out, heading... yonder.  Join us again in two weeks when he rides back over that far horizon.      MUSIC SOUND     BUCKBOARD, HORSES FANSHAW    [straining] I think I can just make out a structure of some sort. LEM    Not much further now. SULLIVAN    Excellent.  I am in your debt for all your help in getting me out here. LEM    Woulda been a mite easier if'n you were were saddled, stead of carted. Some of these ruts-- SULLIVAN     I've never been much of a horseman.  And this is a fairish wagon.  FANSHAW    Garish, rather. LEM    Well, I reckon it was cheap. SULLIVAN    Oh, yes.  They rented it to me at a very reasonable rate. FANSHAW    Ah, rented.  That explains why he has not repainted over the "Piewacket Players" placard on the side. SULLIVAN    I understand a couple of the actors are - um - incarcerated for some while.  Renting me the wagon and horses saved them board and stowage.  Everyone benefits. FANSHAW    Actually, some of these murals are rather good.  If the players are half as talented as their painter, it might be worth seeking out one of their performances. LEM    [dubious] I reckon. FANSHAW    [musing] King Lear.  Julius Caeser.  Romeo and Juliet.  [chuckles]  They seem to perform a lot of the classics.  Shakespeare. LEM    Mmm. FANSHAW    Did you know that in Shakespeare's day - some 250 years ago - it was illegal for women to perform on the stage? LEM    Hush. FANSHAW    Oh, Lem, do let me impart a little culture for once. LEM    [Annoyed grunt] FANSHAW    Particularly while you cannot argue.  As I was saying, back in the day, all the female parts were played by young men. SULLIVAN    Oh, goodness!  Look at that! LEM    [eager] Whatsat? SULLIVAN    That's an awfully steep hill up ahead.  You think the wagon can manage it? LEM    I reckon so, reverend. SULLIVAN    "Doctor", please.  I prefer it as an honorific. LEM    [puzzled] But you're a "man o' god"? SULLIVAN    And a man of science as well.  I firmly believe that the church cannot simply deny science, but must embrace it, and hand in hand we shall move forward into the next century! LEM    [dubious] A'right then. FANSHAW    Fervent, isn't he? SULLIVAN    Sorry.  I find I must defend myself constantly - both against those who find science and religion incompatible, and against those who pooh-pooh my branch of science entirely. LEM    Oh?  SULLIVAN    [defiant]  I have made a comprehensive study of the existence of ghosts. LEM    [choking back a cough]  OH. FANSHAW    Oh, dear. MUSIC MELODY    [off] [wailing, hysterics] SOUND    DOOR OPENS, WAILING UP CARTLAND    Don't that girl ever shut up? EMMA    Bart!  She swears she's being tormented. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS CARTLAND    Hysteria.  You women can't stop yourselves from being women, but the least you can do is keep quiet when a man wants to think. EMMA    What do you want me to do?  Lock her in a madhouse?  She's my own flesh and blood!  CARTLAND    Your sister is pitching a fit 'cause she ain't getting her own way.  Nothing more. EMMA    But what if it is something more? CARTLAND    I got that well in hand. EMMA    What?  How?  CARTLAND    Don't go questioning me, woman.  Where's my grub? MUSIC SULLIVAN    [pugnacious] Do you, or do you not believe in ghosts? FANSHAW    [short bark of a laugh] LEM    [dry]  I reckon I do. SULLIVAN     Many people believe that the supernatural is somehow at cross-purposes with the bible, but it isn't so.  Ever since Solomon, the wisest men in the good book studied the ways of the supernatural, in order to overcome it. LEM    Solomon.  Izzat the king fellow? FANSHAW    Famous for his wise judgment.  And not cutting up the baby. SULLIVAN    Traditionally, many have always believed that the dead may carry on, side by side with the living, unseen but always present. LEM    Ain't this more of a church question? SULLIVAN    What do you mean? LEM    Well, if you believe folks just hunker down once they passed on, then what you think of heaven? SULLIVAN    I don't believe every soul lingers.  Have you ever heard of Purgatory? FANSHAW    Oh, goodness. LEM    Ain't that a town in Nevada territory? SULLIVAN    In the bible, purgatory is a place where people who are not good enough to go to heaven nor evil enough to go directly to hell are judged. FANSHAW    Which bible, precisely? LEM    Guess I never got that far in bible learnin. SULLIVAN    It is the premise for all my theories that purgatory is not a place, but merely a "state"-- LEM    [playing dumb] Wyoming? [1890] FANSHAW    [grim] Ask him which bible. SULLIVAN    [trying not to get exasperated] --and that spirits that need to be redeemed, or to mend their ways, may in fact be "in purgatory" much like someone could be "in a foul temper" - right next to us. FANSHAW    Balderdash!  Utter rubbish! LEM    Looky there!  That should be the ranch now! MUSIC MELODY    [heavy breathing, end of crying jag] SOUND    TAP ON THE DOOR, DOOR OPENS EMMA    Melody?  Are you feeling a little better? MELODY    [sullen]  I been bit. EMMA    Bit?  By what?  A rat? MELODY    Come and look. EMMA    I'll fetch a lantern. MELODY    No! EMMA    Or open the shutters? MELODY    No!!  They don't like the light!  I kin only open them at night. EMMA    [very upset] oh.  What can I do to help? MELODY    [disheartened]  Nothing.  EMMA    Are you hungry?  There's some good stew. MELODY    I can't.  I just can't. EMMA    Here, show me that bite. MUSIC LEM    [quiet] What's gnawing on you? FANSHAW    I do not consider myself a particularly religious fellow, but if there is one thing I have found quite frustrating about the wide open west it is that so many people simply decide that they are experts on this or that subject, and other people believe them, for lack of any alternatives. LEM    Mm? FANSHAW    He claims to know the bible, but then he goes on about this spiritism nonsense.  And purgatory!  I may not be a divinity scholar but a childhood of churchgoing taught me that that is a catholic conceit, and he's got it wrong anyway.  Purgatory was where souls waited out a period of penance, while their friends and family prayed for their release.  LEM    How'd they know if they got out? FANSHAW    I believe the priests would tell them.  It always smacked of extortion to me. LEM    [laughs]  Well.  How's all this gonna make a damn lick of difference just now? FANSHAW    What?  LEM    Whatever it is he believes - it gonna change the price of oats? FANSHAW    [sigh]  No.  LEM    Good.  That's cleared up, then.  Road's widenin up, and we'll be alongside the wagon agin soon.  MUSIC EMMA    We need to send Melody somewhere.  If only you had let her marry-- CARTLAND    She's 16 - too damn young, and don't know her own mind. EMMA    I know, but if she was away-- CARTLAND    Dammit woman.  You are my wife, and I will not be argued with. EMMA    Of course.  [beat]  Something bit her. CARTLAND    Bit?  Like a snake? EMMA    The marks....um... they looked-- CARTLAND    Oh, just spit it out. EMMA    They looked like they were made by a man! MUSIC SOUND    THEY ARE STOPPED. HORSES, HARNESS, DISMOUNT, ETC. SULLIVAN    Thank you ever so much for helping me to find my way.  I'm not much of an outdoorsman.  Or horseman. FANSHAW    Nor much of a cleric, apparently. LEM    Right happy to help.  Why is it you were comin all the way out here in the first place?  [chuckles] Not to put on a play. SULLIVAN    [chuckles] It is rather a curious wagon, isn't it?  But I am afraid my job here is rather confidential. CARTLAND    [yelling from off] Is that the Reverend?  Get on in here!  SULLIVAN    [dithering] Oh, um I-- LEM    I'll look to your horses.  You get along. SULLIVAN    Excellent.  FANSHAW    I don't like him.  LEM    You don' like his views. FANSHAW    They're gibberish! LEM    'Zat anythin like folderol?  [serious]  Why'n't you go on in and see what brand o' folderol he's spinnin to the good folks inside. FANSHAW    [stiff upper lip] I shall try and keep my temper. LEM    [muttered] Tryin never hurt no one. SOUND    A FEW MOMENTS OF UNHARNASSING, THEN SUDDEN TUSSLE, RED GRABS LEM AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE WALL OF THE BARN SOUND    HORSES ANNOYED, SHYING SOUND    GUN COCKS RED    [snarled] The Deadeye Kid. MUSIC SOUND    FANSHAW ENTERS CARTLAND    --convince her it ain't nothing but temper! EMMA    But the bite! SULLIVAN    A bite?  EMMA    She looks like she was bit, bad. CARTLAND    There's no way anyone could get in there and bite her. SULLIVAN    It isn't unheard of. FANSHAW    A bite? CARTLAND    [suspicious] Really? EMMA    See! SULLIVAN    Manifestations have demonstrated their ability to affect the material world in any number of ways. FANSHAW    [suspicious] Oh.  Do tell? CARTLAND    There's a simple answer for this.  She bit her own damn self.  She pulls one more shenanigan, and I'm taking a strap to the damn girl. EMMA    Never!  Our father wouldn't-- CARTLAND    He shoulda!  If your sister weren't spoiled, we wouldn't have to have this idjit in. SULLIVAN    Sir!  I am well respected in-- CARTLAND    [furious, overbearing] You are here to prove this ain't nothing but women's hysteria and a mulish girl's temper.  EMMA    But if it is something else? FANSHAW    What do you think it may be, I wonder? CARTLAND    Either she's doing this to herself, or she's plumb loco.  Which way do you prefer?  She's your flesh and blood. SOUND    BEHIND DOOR - CRASH MELODY    [screams] [BREAK]   MUSIC RED    What the hell are you doing here? LEM    Do I... know you? RED    Mebbe not, but I know you.  You're the Deadeye Kid. LEM    [resigned] Who'd I kill, that yer so riled about? RED    What in tarnation is wrong with you? LEM    Aside from being slammed up agin a barn, with iron in my face, nuttin comes to mind. RED    I'us there in Carson City.  Five years ago.  Watched you take down Iron John Sandoval. LEM    [after a pause]  And? RED    Saw how fast y'are.  Hmph.  Used to be. LEM    Mmm? RED    [offended]  You din't even see me comin. LEM    My mind was took up with sumpin else. SOUND    HAMMER EASES BACK RED    You should vamoose.  This ain't no place for them as has lost their edge. LEM    You might wanna back off a piece. RED    Whyzzat?  Can't look me in the face and admit you're getting old? LEM    My gun hand's starting to cramp up sumpin fierce, and I cain't ease down til you pull your cohones off'n the barrel.  RED    You - what?  [looking down, gasps] LEM    Right shame to shave your stumps - seein as we're all compadres now. SOUND    BACKS OFF SOUND    HAMMER DOWN, GUN INTO HOLSTER, SLAP ON THE BACK LEM    You look like a man that might could use a drink.  MUSIC SOUND    HORSES, BARN SOUND    FANSHAW ENTERS FANSHAW    I say, Lem?  Are you alone? LEM    Lessen you wanna chat with the hosses. FANSHAW    What do you really think of this fellow? LEM    From yer tone, I'm guessin you mean the reverend - doctor. FANSHAW    Ye-ess. LEM    I figger he's harmless.  Cain't actually know a lick about all's he's talkin about. FANSHAW    Right.  [beat]  Do you ever wonder? LEM    I wonder alla time.  Any particular wonderin yer wonderin about? FANSHAW    About this.  About spirits.  About good and evil. LEM    Never reckoned on em hitched like'at.  FANSHAW    You don't think of ghosts as being somehow inherent wicked? LEM    You havin a crisis of faith?  I reckon jest like with anyone, only you can know if you're evil. FANSHAW    I - well, I don't mean myself, I suppose.  LEM    [teasing]  So you think you're better than e'rbody else. FANSHAW    No.  I don't know.  LEM    What brought all this on? FANSHAW    From what I observed in the house, there may be an argument here for an evil spirit of some sort. LEM    And? FANSHAW    And?  And what?  LEM    Spirits're just as evil or saintly as the folks they used to be.  Don't make no nevermind to no one but me. FANSHAW    I mean an evil spirit with ... powers. LEM    [sure] Ain't no such thing. FANSHAW    Are you so very certain? MUSIC SOUND    OUTSIDE, WALKING LEM    I ain't never seen no spirit could touch nothin in the real world. FANSHAW    Neither have I, but what if there is? LEM    We do whatever we gots to. SOUND    FEET APPROACH RED    [coming in] Kid! LEM    [sigh]  Just Lem, if'n you please. RED    Oh, drat.  Right.  You done with them horses? LEM    Tucked up tight.  You ast about the job? FANSHAW    Job? RED    Mr. Cartland's right happy to have another hand, even if you don't plan on staying fer long.  With all that's been a-going on-- LEM    What all is it that's been a-goin on? FANSHAW    Evil spirits. LEM    Is it what's been drivin off all your help? RED    Come on, let's getcha some grub.  Hank'll be pleased to have someone new to jaw to. MUSIC SOUND    KITCHEN, EATING SOUND    DOOR OPENS HANK    Red. RED    Hank.  This is Lem.  Come in with the doctor fella. LEM    Hank. HANK    You work for the reverend? RED    He's-- LEM    I work fer jest about anyone as needs me.  Doctor needed a guide. RED    Lem's gonna help out round here fer a while. LEM    Long as the doc's on hand, might as well make myself useful. HANK    Did you tell him what's going on?  What cleared us out? RED    Here, have a plate of stew, Lem.  I'm sure Hank can tell it better'n me. HANK    [uncertain] Oh, I--- RED    He actually saw it. LEM    Saw what? HANK    That girl.  She's possessed! LEM    Possessed of what? HANK    No!  Possessed!  Taken over by an evil spirit! LEM    [considering] I don't figger I put much stock in such things.  Ain't no other explanation? HANK    What else could explain how I - I saw a strange light in her window late at night-- LEM    What were you doin' out? HANK    [thrown off] What?  I was - uh - having a smoke. LEM    She a good-lookin' girl?  Apart from whatever travail she's in? HANK    That ain't the point.  I was off a ways and saw a light.  It din't look natural.  So I went closer to see. LEM    How high's this window? HANK    I don't know!  Chest-high, I s'pose.  But I sawr everything!  [yarning]  Right from the first, I was froze to the spot.  Couldn't look away.  In this strange blueish colored light, there was something flyin back and forth across the room-- LEM    A bird? HANK    No!  A cushion or a hat or something - something that had no damn business flyin! LEM    [mild amazement] Oh! HANK    And then I saw the girl herself crawling about the floor like an animal.  LEM    Mebbe she dropped sumpin. HANK    But it weren't natural!  You can explain away one thing after another, but that light won't never look right. LEM    I meant no disrespect, just know how late at night moonlight can be a bit mazy.  Can make things look wrong way round and bigger than life. HANK    Well, this weren't out in the moonlight - it was in her room. LEM    Right.  HANK    You ain't a-scared? LEM    I'm a bit behind when it comes to afearin things.  Got to see sumpin for myself before I can work up to gooseflesh.  Yerself? HANK    I'm pert near hightailing it out of here, I tell you what.  One more night like that and you'll be seeing the back of me. RED    Ain't likely, Hank old hoss.  You relish the tellin of your tall tales too much to miss a chance fer another one. MUSIC CARTLAND    It's pure mulishness, is what it is.  The girl wanted to marry, and I said no. SULLIVAN    You're surely not her father, though? CARTLAND    Father's passed on.  I ain't blood, but I married her sister and that makes me the lawful man of the house and head of this family.  She gots to understand that. EMMA    I still think-- CARTLAND    Regardless of whether she's old enough to marry, I wan't about to let her run off to the damn Wishwells and take half the ranch with her. EMMA    Our father left us even shares. FANSHAW    Hmm.  And that man married yours. SULLIVAN    Ah.  I should talk to the girl, now. MUSIC HANK    Well.  SOUND    SLAPS THIGHS, GETS UP HANK    That hay won't pitch itself.  Care to lend a hand, feller? LEM    Lem.  I-- RED    I need him yet fer a mite.  I'll send him along when we're through. LEM    That's a mighty fine looking belt buckle you got there, Hank.  Turquoise? HANK    Yup.  LEM    And silver.  [musing] Mighty fine. SOUND    WALKS OUT DOOR LEM    Why d'you stay, Red? RED    Been with Mr. Cartland for nigh on 10 years. Since before he married the missus.  Fact is, that was when we came through Carson City. LEM    You friends? RED    Nah, he ain't one fer making friends of the hands.  But he's fair.  Hard, but fair.   LEM    Now tell me.  [a bit humorous] Apart from having the nerve of a grizzly, why ain't you scairt? RED    I plumb don't feel it.  Whatever's a-going on with the girl, it don't hit me here.  You ken? LEM    I reckon. RED    It's like ... play actors.  They can make you like the story, but they cain't never make it real. LEM    Gotta good solid head on them shoulders, Red.  I purpose to find out what all's transpirin here, and if'n yer strapped fer it, I'd shore thank'ee kindly for any help. RED    [admiring] You ain't lost none of yer sand, have ya? LEM    I reckon the wind's just blowin it in the right direction these days. MUSIC SOUND    DOOR CREAKS OPEN SULLIVAN    Young lady?  MELODY    [very tired and small sounding] Who's there? CARTLAND    It's the feller gonna tell you what a liar you been. EMMA    Husband! CARTLAND    Go on then.  Tell her. EMMA    I'll open them shutters. MELODY    No! EMMA     Just a crack!  It's fair dark in here! SOUND    FEET, SHUTTERS SULLIVAN    Sir!  I must insist on being able to interview the girl in relative peace! CARTLAND    I ain't a-stopping you. SULLIVAN    You must be quiet and leave the girl to answer for herself. EMMA    Please! CARTLAND    [somewhat subdued]  Go on. SULLIVAN    Miss Heath, your lady sister has told me some of your symptoms, but I would like to hear them from you.  What is your chief complaint? MELODY    They never let me sleep! FANSHAW    [far corner] Poor girl does look tired. CARTLAND    Nor us out here!  I ain't had a good night through in weeks. SULLIVAN     [sharp] Shh!  [calm]  They?  Who are "they"? MELODY    You won't believe me any more than anyone else does. CARTLAND    Hmph. SULLIVAN    I believe a great many things.  Pray, humor me. MELODY    They come at night, and pinch me.  Pinch my arms and legs - all over!  And one bit me - See here! CARTLAND    You bit your own damn self! MELODY    [whimpers] SULLIVAN    Sir!  Would you be kind enough to leave?  As long as you insist on berating the poor girl, she will never be calm enough to tell me all her troubles. CARTLAND    Fine.  Come on, woman. SOUND    DOOR ROUGHLY OPENS EMMA    Shouldn't I stay?  For decency's sake? CARTLAND    Man's a holy father, even if he is a soft-headed idjet.  Whatcha think he might do? EMMA    I suppose. MELODY    I'll call if I need help! EMMA    You do that. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS MUSIC SOUND    MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH RED    From his yarn, Hank was right about'chere when he saw the lights. LEM    Hard to reckon what this'ud look like in full dark.  What'us the moon like? RED    Middling, round about. LEM    Hmm.  And that'ud be the window? RED    Yup.  Though way Hank tells it, it was full open when he was looking. LEM    [surprised] Oh! RED    What? LEM    Let's fade back a bit.  Don't want anyone to spy us. RED    Why?  Mm?  [sees] Oh! MUSIC [BREAK]   AMB    OUTDOORS FANSHAW    There you are!  I've just witnessed the most appalling-- RED    Did we really see what I think we jest saw? LEM    I'm afeared so.  RED    That varmint!  Taking advantage of a nice-- LEM    She din't look "put out" to me.  Any fired-up on her part weren't the angry kind, if you catch me. FANSHAW    [sarcastic] Oh.  So you saw it too.  How useful am I? LEM    Mighty useful.  [slightly different] To know that sumpin's up with them.  Looked like they knowed each other afore this. RED    I guess you could safely say that. FANSHAW    I tactfully took my leave. SOUND    HOOFBEATS APPROACH RED    Who in tarnation?  Damn!  LEM    What? RED    [heavy import] That's Clyde Wishwell and his boys! MUSIC SOUND    TAP ON DOOR EMMA    Doctor?  Is everything all right in there? SULLIVAN    [within] Yes!  Quite.  SOUND    FOOTSTEPS APPROACH THEIR SIDE OF DOOR SULLIVAN    [within]  I have all I need for the moment. SOUND    DOOR OPENS SULLIVAN    [cautious] Is your husband ...nearby? EMMA    He had to step out. SULLIVAN    [relieved]  Ah. EMMA    I have the guest room ready for you.  Your drover can bunk with the men. SULLIVAN    My--?  Oh, yes.  That fellow.  My guide.  SOUND    STEPS OUT, CLOSES DOOR EMMA    Is she...  Is she going to be all right, sir? SULLIVAN    I think this will take some time, but yes.  I believe she can be saved. EMMA    Saved?  You talk like she's ailing! SULLIVAN    [serious] She is.  It is an ailment of the soul. MUSIC SOUND    GENERAL DISMOUNTING, ETC. CARTLAND    [barely concealed hostility]  Wishwell. WISHWELL    Mr. Cartland.  I hope you don't mind the intrusion? CARTLAND    What do you want? WISHWELL    We found a fellow lost on our property, claims he'us supposed to be coming here.  We decided to give him an escort. BAKER    [a bit too much swagger]  Yes, yes.  Many thanks.  You may go ahead and leave. WISHWELLS MEN    [annoyed muttering] CARTLAND    Who the devil are you? BAKER    You sent for me.  WISHWELL    He was mighty tight about his business with you, Mr. Cartland.  I'm right curious. BAKER    That is between Mr. Cartland and myself.  Are you waiting around for a reason?  I could-- SOUND    COINS RATTLE WISHWELL    [civility slipping] No need, sir!  I reckon a man does you a good turn, seeing you to your destination, rather than shooting your backside fulla buckshot as a trespasser, he deserves a bit of an explanation! CARTLAND    Yeah.  Explain. BAKER    [exasperated] Very well.  I am the ghost expert you sent away for. MUSIC AMB    OUT BACK LEM    Why'm I all of a sudden smellin a rat? FANSHAW    You mean Sullivan's obvious "familiarity" with young miss Heath? LEM    Biggest rat I seen recently. RED    You think they got somethin "on" between them? LEM    I'm wondrin has anyone actually clapped eyes on the fellow she got her heart pinned to. RED    How'd you hear about that? FANSHAW    Damn! LEM    [calm] I just hear things. RED    Oh.  But it was one of the Wishwells she was a-hankerin after.  FANSHAW    And the Wishwells just rode in.  Perhaps we should go and take a look at the other side of this little chess match. LEM    Lets go get us a look at the Wishwells. RED    Right. FANSHAW    I'll stay in the house - keep an eye on the courting. MUSIC CARTLAND    YOU'RE the expert?  Then who the devil we got inside?  [yelling over his shoulder] Emma! BAKER    [smug] Well, I can't help you there, I'm no clairvoyant - merely a seeker after truth in the field of spiritualism. WISHWELL    [a bit worried] Really?  Hmm. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, EMMA COMES ONTO PORCH EMMA    What is it?  Oh!  Comp'ny! CARTLAND    They ain't compny, they's Wishwells.  Get that city slicker out here.  We got a bit of a branding problem here. BAKER    Are you implying there's someone here claiming to be me? CARTLAND    Someone here's claiming something, but I don't know which of you it might be. SOUND    SWITCH OF PERSPECTIVE, FEET APPROACHING - RED AND LEM BAKER    [off a bit] I have credentials and letters of recommendation. RED    That's Ezekial Wishwell, in the tan hat.  He's a big rancher over t'other side of the valley. LEM    And if one of his marries that Miss, inside- RED    Reckon he'll get his hands on her half of the ranch here. LEM    Hmm. SOUND    FADING BACK TO CARTLAND's POV WISHWELL    You sent off for a ghost hunter, and you cain't even remember his name? CARTLAND    I contacted him through some damn psychical society in the newspaper out of Carson city.  BAKER    Yes.  Precisely.  The "friends in passing". CARTLAND    And it's bad enough I gotta do such a damn fool thing just so's I can put my wife's mind at rest about her damn fool sister-- SOUND    DOOR OPENS, FEET ON PORCH EMMA    Here he is. SULLIVAN    You needed me for something? [FADING BACK TO LEM] WISHWELL    Whatcha gonna do with two of them? SULLIVAN    Two of who? BAKER    Is that the imposter? EMMA    What? RED    It's the doggonest thing I ever heered of! LEM    It's a wonder, sure enough. FANSHAW    They've vacated the - ahem - bedroom.  RED    You think there's gonna be a fight?  Dunno that them two guys would make much of a scrap - that first one's too prissy and citified, and the other's kind of a runt.  But it might be something to see. LEM    I need a chance to palaver. FANSHAW    This might explain the idiotic views of Sullivan - I mean, if he is the imposter. LEM    [muttered] People can be thick as two thumbs and still ain't liars.  Happens all th'time. SOUND    FADING BACK TO CARTLAND RED    Whazzat? LEM    Trying to logic out which might be the one sposed to be here. FANSHAW    Oh, there's the girl! SOUND    BARE FEET ON WOODEN PORCH [argument that runs under above] SULLIVAN    I am an ordained minister, sir, of the church of the holy seekers after truth! BAKER    That hack cabal?  They wouldn't know a phantom from an apparition.  I have trained with the most respectable societies in the British Isles! SULLIVAN    Hidebound stick-in-the-muds! BAKER    Newfangled snot-nosed infants, tampering with forces outside your ken! SULLIVAN    Infants!  I'll have you know-- SOUND    MELODY'S BARE FEET RUN OUT ONTO THE DIRT MELODY    Stop!  Please!  [scream of terror, some thrashing about] CARTLAND    What the devil? SULLIVAN    Quickly, bring some warm tea, and a cold compress, if you have one. EMMA    Yes!  SOUND    SHE DASHES INTO THE HOUSE BAKER    Stay back!  The girl is under attack. WISHWELL    Looks like some kind of fit. CARTLAND    Fit o' temper.  Get up, girl! SOUND    FEET ENTER LEM    Mr. Cartland, might could I drop a word in your ear? CARTLAND    Who the hell are you?  Oh, right, you come in with the preacher - maybe preacher. LEM    Something you need to know. FANSHAW    Are you planning to tell him about the assignation?  He'll do something terrible to that poor girl - you've seen how beastly he is to her. LEM    I know you're looking after the best interests of your family here. FANSHAW    He threatened to beat her! CARTLAND    I do what I gotta. FANSHAW    Even if she is feigning all of this, surely she doesn't deserve-- LEM    And I can tell you're purt near your wits end. CARTLAND    zat so? LEM    I think you done took more than most men can take, so I don't fault you none for flyin off the handle.  I might could have an answer for all this. CARTLAND    [interested] Really? LEM    Yup.  It was somethin that Sullivan fellow said regarding the bible. CARTLAND    [disbelieving] Really? LEM    Once they get this little dustup sorted, mebbe could I try something?  CARTLAND    What you planning? LEM    I promise you, I don't reckon no one'll get hurt - leastways not bad - but beyond that, can't tell you much or it'll fall flat.  CARTLAND    Is this some of this spiritual hoodoo manure? LEM    Well, let's say I'm gonna connive them into believin it is. CARTLAND    Hmm...  [chuckle]  Go on, then. MUSIC EMMA    She's settled again, but she keeps tossing and a-turning. CARTLAND    [calmer]  If I'm right, and she's just doing this all out of pique, what do you think should be done?  You really think us going on and giving in is gonna make everything all right? EMMA    Me?  I--  but it's too drastic to be-- CARTLAND    I ain't asking if you think she's making it all up, just what you reckon we should oughtta do if she is. EMMA    Oh.  [pacing]  Well.  It's a terrible thing she's doing - if she's doing it.  But it can't be easy on her, either.  All them hurts she's took. CARTLAND    Lotta effort to make you feel sorry for her. EMMA    If she's faking, then wouldn't the reverend know it? CARTLAND    Stick to the question at hand. EMMA    You're much less riled than you been in days - do you know something? CARTLAND    With two doctor types on hand, how can I not see a light at the end of this here tunnel? EMMA    Oh. CARTLAND    [almost gentle]  I'm waiting. EMMA    I agree - we can't, in good conscience, let her get her way through these kinds of shenanigans - always assuming she's-- CARTLAND    Yes, yes.  We're assuming. EMMA    But what can we do for punishment?  Lock her away?  I couldn't bear that. CARTLAND    What'choo think about schooling? EMMA    What? CARTLAND    Send her off to school - back east or somewheres where rich folks send their girls, and take the cost of the schooling out of her half the ranch.  We'll call it bail. EMMA    It would keep her away from the Wishwells.  And it would get her away from-- CARTLAND    Us?  EMMA    [sigh] Yes. MUSIC LEM    I may not have the booklearnin y'all have, but I did have me a granny who did midwifing and could see and talk to all manner of spirits. SULLIVAN    Really?  How ...rustic BAKER    You should never pooh-pooh the lay folk.  Many have toiled in the fields of the supernatural without even realizing they did. Back home in-- SULLIVAN    Of course, it is only a pity that so often they were seen as enemies of the church and persecuted, rather than embraced and put to good works. FANSHAW    Good gad, they're even worse in harmony. LEM    Well, Granny once told me of a sure cure for a plague of spirits. BAKER    Oh yes? FANSHAW    Watch out, he'll write a monograph on your granny.  Did you really have one? LEM    O'course.  It ain't easy, and it ain't exactly safe.  But when the only other path is being ridden round with spirits all your life, it's sometimes a risk you gots to take. SULLIVAN    Dangerous? LEM    O'course.  You got to make the spirits flee outta the afflicted one, and t'only way to do it is to convince them you're about to kill that person. SULLIVAN    [horrified] KILL? BAKER    That makes a strange sort of sense. LEM    Best ways are violent.  You cain't sneak up behind 'em, since half the convincin has to be that the one what's afflicted gots to believe it.  FANSHAW    Mention the flagellants in the bible.  They used whips to cleanse themselves of-- SULLIVAN    But we can't - that-that poor girl! BAKER    I am not certain I could do it myself, but I would be most interested in observing. LEM    Oh, I can do it.  You two should oughta  make sure no one else gets in the way, though. SULLIVAN    But you wouldn't really hurt her? LEM    I s'pose it depends.  Sometimes, the spirits are figurin you wouldn't really hurt no one, and they hang on for the first hurt or two.  Like them fellas that whip themselves bloody right there in the bible. SULLIVAN    [horrified] Oh no!  I can't let you do that to any poor defenseless woman. LEM    Don't think it's your choice to make, old hoss.  BAKER    As long as she is afflicted, it will have to be dealt with. SULLIVAN    Let me try something else, first!  I might have a way to-- LEM    That's right fine.  We'll come along and observe your way. SULLIVAN    No!  It's -- it has to be performed in total secrecy. LEM    Cain't hide from the spirits, though. FANSHAW    I take the hint. BAKER    You should be grateful for the help. SULLIVAN    Leave me alone for a minute!  I have to - to pray! SOUND    WALKS OFF FAST LEM    [almost a chuckle] BAKER    What got into him? FANSHAW    I think he truly cares for the girl. LEM    A mighty old spirit indeed. MUSIC [BREAK]   EMMA    They're gonna hurt her? CARTLAND    They don't think it will come to much.  Just enough to scare the spirits out of her. EMMA    Melody's my sister - I cain't just let them beat her! CARTLAND    [trying to be comforting] Don't sound like there's any other way they're gonna manage this.  [beat] This feller sounds like he knows what he's doing. EMMA    [incredulous] Sounds like he--?  How can you say that? CARTLAND    [curt]  I will stop him before he does anything too... drastic.  EMMA    You got no fine feelings about seeing her hurt.  You would have-- CARTLAND    [getting annoyed] I'da punished her, yeah.  Now get out my way.  I'm done talkin! MUSIC RED    Lem, over here a minute. LEM    [queit] Yeah? [up]  Mister Baker, why don't you see if the lady of the house might be able to find you a spot to sleep tonight?  BAKER    And that charlatan? LEM    Doctor Sullivan?  You let me handle him.  Oh, and - sunset.  That's the time to deal with ghosts. BAKER    Sunset? LEM    So says my gran. BAKER    Right.  I am quite interested to see how this goes. SOUND    BAKER WALKS OFF LEM    Sorry about that. RED    What are you up to? LEM    Takin a tip from the bible.  You with me? RED    Spect so.  WISHWELL    Could I have a word with you, sir? LEM    [sigh] Spect so. MUSIC SOUND    TAPPING ON WOOD [Sullivan sounds very different, western, rather than citified, and is speaking quietly, to avoid being overheard] SULLIVAN    Melody?  Melody? FANSHAW    Hmph.  Praying indeed.  I would say he's rather old for her, but that moustache doesn't do much to hide a cheek that's barely seen a  razor. SULLIVAN    Please, Mel, honey! SOUND    TEENSY CREAK OPEN MELODY    Wallace?  You shouldn't be out there! FANSHAW    Wallace?  SULLIVAN    I had to come!  Everything's falling apart. MELODY    What do you mean? SULLIVAN    They've got some cockamamie scheme, and sounds like they're planning to hurt you.  Maybe bad. MELODY    Emma'd never let them do that! SULLIVAN    There's enough people here got no patience left, I doubt but that she couldn't stop them.  Can't you turn this? MELODY    It's got away from me!  What can I do? SULLIVAN    Maybe just say you're cured? MELODY    And then what?  That leaves me here with folks that hate me and no chance o'nothin'?  No chance of... us?  I'll die first! SULLIVAN    I'll try and come up with something.  But if it comes down to it, stop them before they hurt you.  Please promise you will! MELODY    [grim] I'll do what I gotta do. MUSIC WISHWELL    What you fixing to do, sir? LEM    Come sunset, I'll take drastic measures to free that girl from her torment. WISHWELL    You sound like you might have to kill her. LEM    I'm sure the reverend - uh - doctor sullivan can speak you best on torment and the afterlife.  He's got a nose fer it. WISHWELL    But what exactly are you planning to do? FANSHAW    Don't turn round.  Sullivan is lurking.  LEM    [sigh]  I hate to see anyone in pain.  But sometimes, ain't no choice.  If'n there's a spirit a-punishin that child, it ain't gon be easy to spook it out.  I may have to shoot her. SOUND    [men - including RED, WISHWELL, react]  LEM    [matter of fact] Don't worry none, though.  I once shot a man eight times - a'purpose - and he din't die.  [shrug] Can't use one hand no more, but apart from that he all healed up jest fine. WISHWELL    [horrified] And Cartland's gonna let you go on and do this? LEM    I get the feeling that if his wife would allow, he'd do it hisself - he's that plumb wore out with the girl. WISHWELL    And what if we all decide to stop you? LEM    I don't see as how it's any of your business. SOUND    GUNS OUT WISHWELL    [sterner] And what if we all decide to stop you? SOUND    SHOTGUN COCKS CARTLAND    [off]  I think mebbe it's time fer you to get along home, then, Wishwell. SOUND    GUNS UP WISHWELL    [forces laugh]  We were just looking out for your best interests, Cartland.  Have you heard?  This here fellow is fixing to shoot your sister. CARTLAND    Well, something's gotta be done with the girl.  FANSHAW    Is he serious, or did you have a chance to warn him? LEM    Glad to see you took my counsel serious, Mr. Cartland. FANSHAW    Ah.  CARTLAND    And now Wishwell, you and your boys can take my counsel - Git! WISHWELL    I'll be telling the sheriff about these goings on.  CARTLAND    You do that.  Sunset's about an hour away - you won't get there and back by then.  And I figure this way.  If my wife's sister can be bit by ghosts, maybe she can get shot by them too.  Ain't no one here gonna say otherwise, once all's said and done. MUSIC SOUND    TAPPING ON SHUTTER MELODY    Wallace? FANSHAW    [explaining] That's Sullivan. SOUND    TAPPING LEM    [indistinguishable grunt] MELODY    Wallace? SOUND    SHUTTER CREAKS OPEN MELODY    Are you-- [gasp of fear!] LEM    You want to talk to me, girl.  And you want to stay quiet. MELODY    My sister is jest in the next room. LEM    I know.  And I ain't askin fer nothin improper.  Cartland's got Sullivan sewed up in argument fer the moment, so I got one chance for you. MELODY    Chance?  Fer what? LEM    Wallace.  You in love with the boy, or jest lookin fer a way out from under your folks? MELODY    We're in love.  LEM    You want him more than you want your share of the ranch? MELODY    [teensy hesitation]  Yes. LEM    And would he and his take you without you had that parcel to offer? MELODY    He would.  LEM    And his pa out there?  Mr. Wishwell? MELODY    [gasp] You know? LEM    I know a lotta things.  F'r'instance, tonight's gonna be an interestin night.  MUSIC FANSHAW    So if they're genuinely in love -- LEM    I think they are.  He's plumb torn up about the chance as she might get hurt.  Mebbe she's not so worried, but she seems true. FANSHAW    Then this is just like Shakespeare - Romeo and juliet.  Families opposed to one another, romance between the younger generation. LEM    'Zat give us any aid with sorting out this rats nest? FANSHAW    Well, they both died.  So I guess not. LEM    Hmm.  Plays. FANSHAW    What are you thinking? LEM    Well... I was playing at solomon.  Threatnin the girl to bring out-- FANSHAW    [realizing] The real-- Yes!  I've got it.  Jolly clever. LEM    I'm thinkin mebbe I got the wrong baby. FANSHAW    The wrong what? MUSIC In house CARTLAND    Can't be long now. EMMA    You won't let him really hurt her, will you? CARTLAND    [gentle] Emma.  He promised he wouldn't.  We have to convince her he would, though.  She gots to believe it. EMMA    Why? CARTLAND    If she's faking, she has to cry off.  If she ain't... well... he says the spirits gotta be convinced she's gonna die, so they'll haveta leave. EMMA    Oh.  I see.  Thank you. CARTLAND    [uncomfortable]   Right.  Just find us one of them schools, woudja? MUSIC OUTSIDE LEM    [talking to a crowd] Much as it pains me to have to do this, um, I reckon there ain't no way to solve this problem til we drive out the spirits here. BAKER    Where is the girl? LEM    She's a coming. SOUND    DOOR OPENS LEM    Speak of the devil. SOUND    SEVERAL PEOPLE WALKING OUT ON WOOD MELODY    Please!  What are you going to do? SULLIVAN    I protest!  I don't think this is safe! LEM    [muttered] We got any other company? FANSHAW    The wishwells never went very far.  Just out of sight, then circled back.  They're behind the barn. LEM    Good. FANSHAW    Red appears to be in his allotted position.  Hank is nowhere to be seen. LEM    Hmph.  [up]  Get on over here miss. MELODY    I'm scared! CARTLAND    It gots to be done. EMMA    Be strong, Melody. FANSHAW    No arguments?  Hmm.  I sense a reconciliation in the family. LEM    Harmony ain't no bad thing. FANSHAW    Rather goes with melody, actually. MELODY     What is it you plan to do? LEM    Gon' drive the evil sprits out.  Need you to stand right here, miss.  Don't move a muscle.  You got me? MELODY    Emma!  I don't want to do this! EMMA    Melody, there ain't no choice.  Not no more. SULLIVAN     I agree with the young lady - I feel this is too dangerous. MELODY    Dangerous?  Wh-what's a-going to happen? CARTLAND    [commanding but not being mean] Stand still, and let the man do his work. LEM    All y'all back on the porch now, if'n you please. SOUND    FEET LEM    Now miss, if you'll hold yerself real still. MELODY    I'll do my best. SOUND    GUNSHOT, HITS WOOD MELODY    [screams!]   [break?] EMMA    Be careful! MELODY    What did you do that for?  LEM    I'm shooting the ghosts.  That's why you gotta hold real still. SOUND    GUNSHOT MELODY     [gasp]  You nearly hit me! FANSHAW    The wishwells are getting closer. LEM    Good. SOUND    THREE GUNSHOTS MELODy    [scream of pain!] EMMA    What's that?  You said you wouldn't hurt her!  Is that blood? LEM    That's jest splinters.  Stay back. SOUND    TWO GUNSHOTS MELODY    [scream] SULLIVAN    Nooooooooo! SOUND    RUNNING FEET, SLOW MO SOUND    GUNSHOT SULLIVAN    [argh!  Death rattle] MELODy    [scream, death rattle] FANSHAW    [dry] Two with one shot.  Oh my. EMMA    [screaming] SOUND    RUNNING FEET LEM    Mr. Cartland, hold your wife.  Mr. Baker? BAKER    [flustered] um, um - yes. LEM    You got any doctoring? BAKER    Yes, yes, of course.  I'll check on them. WISHWELL    [coming roaring in]  Nooo! CARTLAND    What the devil you doing here, Wishwell? LEM    Stay back, there.  Let the doctor do his business. WISHWELL    Wallace!  Damn you, you sidewinder!  You are a dead man! SOUND    GUNS DRAW WISHWELL    You ain't steppin in this time, Cartland! CARTLAND    If I just saw what just happened, you kin have him. LEM    [Unconcerned]  Afore you start throwin lead, mebbe you two should take some of the blame on yerselves. CARTLAND    What? WISHWELL    You can go to blazes! LEM    If you two weren't such prickly porcupines on the subject of them kids getting married, none of this woulda ever happened. CARTLAND    That's who she wanted to marry?  And he's a wishwell? WISHWELL    He's my youngest, you son of a buzzard.  Sent him off back east to school, make a better man of him.  And now all that's ashes. CARTLAND    He ain't a reverend, then? FANSHAW    Goodness, they're a bit slow. LEM    Hush, now!  Now you two can be joined in your misery, like you might have been joined by them kids.  Only damn fool you gotta hate now is me. CARTLAND    He ain't said they're dead.  Doctor? BAKER    [calling] I'm doing what I can. WISHWELL    My son?  Is he still with us? LEM    Hold it. SOUND    GUN COCKS WISHWELL    You stay out my way. SOUND    SHOTGUN RACKED RED    I think you better drop that gun Mr. Wishwell. CARTLAND    I'll go and-- RED    No, sir.  You wait too.  With all due respect. LEM    If them kids survive this, you let em marry? CARTLAND    They're too young.  She is, anyway. [don't forget the bit about sullivan not being as old as the moustasche and beard make him look] WISHWELL    You just don't wanna lose half the ranch. CARTLAND    I got plans for that half the ranch.  I got it planned right up til she comes of age. LEM    Mebbe if they can marry, she can leave you in charge til she comes of age.  Let you carry through your plans. EMMA    None of this matters!  Let me go to my sister! RED    Lem? LEM    Give em sumpin to live for, you two.  Make this up.  Tell them they ain't gotta be dead to be together. WISHWELL    You think that would help? LEM    I been near dead once or twice, and havin hope is a mighty fine thing. EMMA    Bart?  Please let her, Bart!  If you don't care to give Melody some hope, give me some! CARTLAND    If Wishwell agrees that I keep control for five more years. WISHWELL    We're gonna have to set this down in writin. EMMA    There ain't no time fer writing now!   [sharp]  You say it!  Both of you! CARTLAND    Fine.  Melody!  If'n you can hear me, you listen.  I'm telling you, you can marry that... boy.  We got it all worked out at this end. WISHWELL    Wallace?  Fight Wallace!  You idjit, jumping in front of a bullet fer a girl!  But you can have her if you want her.  Izzat good? CARTLAND    You all gonna put down yer guns now? LEM    That sounds fine.  What you'all think? MELODY    [perfectly fine] I think it sounds good.  But I gotta have a real fine dress.  Understand? EMMA    [astonished] Melody?  MELODY    I'm all right. SULLIVAN    We're both just fine. WISHWELL    Well... Damn! CARTLAND    All right, somebody better start explaining. RED    Lem?  Lem? MUSIC SOUND    RIDING SLOWLY LEM    Much as I hate walkin the horses by moonlight-- FANSHAW    I do think it's best to get while the getting is good.  Do you think they will keep their promises? LEM    Got witnesses enough between Baker and Red. FANSHAW    Whatever happened to Hank? LEM    That was probly me - I think I suspected his belt buckle too loudly and he took fright. FANSHAW    Paid to tell a tale? LEM    Ayup. FANSHAW    Solomon to Prince Escalus in one step.  I'm impressed. LEM    What are you jabberin on about? FANSHAW    That back there was Romeo and Juliet, was it not? LEM    Mebbe just a little.  [beat] You ever done any of them plays? FANSHAW    Oh, yes.  School.  LEM    You gotta be the one in the dress?  Like you were sayin?  You got a voice that might could pass. FANSHAW    Oh... [dropping voice as low as possible] No.  Actually, I often was the lead.  I even played romeo.  I was rather good at learning lines.  Of course, someone always had to put on the dress.  Boys and girls do not attend school together - not our sort of boys and girls, anyway. LEM    Seems like puttin a hat on a pig. FANSHAW    No.  It's just "theater." END  

In their first serialized adventure {in 5 parts}, Lem and Fanshaw accompany a "studier of the supernatural" to face something they may never have seen before - a ghost ... or at least a ghost that can affect the "real world". Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid -  J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw -  J. Hoverson Dr. Sullivan - Michael Coleman  {Tales of the Extraordinary} Mr. Cartland - Reynaud LeBoeuf Emma Cartland - Jacquie Duckworth Melody Heath - Melissa Bartell Red - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Hank - Mark Olson Clyde Wishwell - Bob Noble Mr. Baker - Paul Green  {Encyclopedia of Weird Westerns} Add'l voices by Gene Thorkildsen Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock [Old photos used to make Fanshaw purchased from www.recycledrelatives.com] Announcer:  Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme:  "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson -------  No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. **************************************************************** Haunting Melody Cast: [opening credits/Olivia] LEMuel Roberts - Spyder Clarence FANSHAW - julie Dr. SULLIVAN - Michael coleman Mr. CARTLAND - Mrs. EMMA Cartland - Jacquie Duckworth MELODY Heath - RED - HANK - CLYDE Wishwell - Bob Noble Mr. Baker, the real expert - Paul Greene OPENER OLD HOSS    No gunshots herald his approach.  No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. CLOSER OLD HOSS    The lonely cowboy cliché, always riding out, heading... yonder.  Join us again in two weeks when he rides back over that far horizon.      MUSIC SOUND     BUCKBOARD, HORSES FANSHAW    [straining] I think I can just make out a structure of some sort. LEM    Not much further now. SULLIVAN    Excellent.  I am in your debt for all your help in getting me out here. LEM    Woulda been a mite easier if'n you were were saddled, stead of carted. Some of these ruts-- SULLIVAN     I've never been much of a horseman.  And this is a fairish wagon.  FANSHAW    Garish, rather. LEM    Well, I reckon it was cheap. SULLIVAN    Oh, yes.  They rented it to me at a very reasonable rate. FANSHAW    Ah, rented.  That explains why he has not repainted over the "Piewacket Players" placard on the side. SULLIVAN    I understand a couple of the actors are - um - incarcerated for some while.  Renting me the wagon and horses saved them board and stowage.  Everyone benefits. FANSHAW    Actually, some of these murals are rather good.  If the players are half as talented as their painter, it might be worth seeking out one of their performances. LEM    [dubious] I reckon. FANSHAW    [musing] King Lear.  Julius Caeser.  Romeo and Juliet.  [chuckles]  They seem to perform a lot of the classics.  Shakespeare. LEM    Mmm. FANSHAW    Did you know that in Shakespeare's day - some 250 years ago - it was illegal for women to perform on the stage? LEM    Hush. FANSHAW    Oh, Lem, do let me impart a little culture for once. LEM    [Annoyed grunt] FANSHAW    Particularly while you cannot argue.  As I was saying, back in the day, all the female parts were played by young men. SULLIVAN    Oh, goodness!  Look at that! LEM    [eager] Whatsat? SULLIVAN    That's an awfully steep hill up ahead.  You think the wagon can manage it? LEM    I reckon so, reverend. SULLIVAN    "Doctor", please.  I prefer it as an honorific. LEM    [puzzled] But you're a "man o' god"? SULLIVAN    And a man of science as well.  I firmly believe that the church cannot simply deny science, but must embrace it, and hand in hand we shall move forward into the next century! LEM    [dubious] A'right then. FANSHAW    Fervent, isn't he? SULLIVAN    Sorry.  I find I must defend myself constantly - both against those who find science and religion incompatible, and against those who pooh-pooh my branch of science entirely. LEM    Oh?  SULLIVAN    [defiant]  I have made a comprehensive study of the existence of ghosts. LEM    [choking back a cough]  OH. FANSHAW    Oh, dear. MUSIC MELODY    [off] [wailing, hysterics] SOUND    DOOR OPENS, WAILING UP CARTLAND    Don't that girl ever shut up? EMMA    Bart!  She swears she's being tormented. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS CARTLAND    Hysteria.  You women can't stop yourselves from being women, but the least you can do is keep quiet when a man wants to think. EMMA    What do you want me to do?  Lock her in a madhouse?  She's my own flesh and blood!  CARTLAND    Your sister is pitching a fit 'cause she ain't getting her own way.  Nothing more. EMMA    But what if it is something more? CARTLAND    I got that well in hand. EMMA    What?  How?  CARTLAND    Don't go questioning me, woman.  Where's my grub? MUSIC SULLIVAN    [pugnacious] Do you, or do you not believe in ghosts? FANSHAW    [short bark of a laugh] LEM    [dry]  I reckon I do. SULLIVAN     Many people believe that the supernatural is somehow at cross-purposes with the bible, but it isn't so.  Ever since Solomon, the wisest men in the good book studied the ways of the supernatural, in order to overcome it. LEM    Solomon.  Izzat the king fellow? FANSHAW    Famous for his wise judgment.  And not cutting up the baby. SULLIVAN    Traditionally, many have always believed that the dead may carry on, side by side with the living, unseen but always present. LEM    Ain't this more of a church question? SULLIVAN    What do you mean? LEM    Well, if you believe folks just hunker down once they passed on, then what you think of heaven? SULLIVAN    I don't believe every soul lingers.  Have you ever heard of Purgatory? FANSHAW    Oh, goodness. LEM    Ain't that a town in Nevada territory? SULLIVAN    In the bible, purgatory is a place where people who are not good enough to go to heaven nor evil enough to go directly to hell are judged. FANSHAW    Which bible, precisely? LEM    Guess I never got that far in bible learnin. SULLIVAN    It is the premise for all my theories that purgatory is not a place, but merely a "state"-- LEM    [playing dumb] Wyoming? [1890] FANSHAW    [grim] Ask him which bible. SULLIVAN    [trying not to get exasperated] --and that spirits that need to be redeemed, or to mend their ways, may in fact be "in purgatory" much like someone could be "in a foul temper" - right next to us. FANSHAW    Balderdash!  Utter rubbish! LEM    Looky there!  That should be the ranch now! MUSIC MELODY    [heavy breathing, end of crying jag] SOUND    TAP ON THE DOOR, DOOR OPENS EMMA    Melody?  Are you feeling a little better? MELODY    [sullen]  I been bit. EMMA    Bit?  By what?  A rat? MELODY    Come and look. EMMA    I'll fetch a lantern. MELODY    No! EMMA    Or open the shutters? MELODY    No!!  They don't like the light!  I kin only open them at night. EMMA    [very upset] oh.  What can I do to help? MELODY    [disheartened]  Nothing.  EMMA    Are you hungry?  There's some good stew. MELODY    I can't.  I just can't. EMMA    Here, show me that bite. MUSIC LEM    [quiet] What's gnawing on you? FANSHAW    I do not consider myself a particularly religious fellow, but if there is one thing I have found quite frustrating about the wide open west it is that so many people simply decide that they are experts on this or that subject, and other people believe them, for lack of any alternatives. LEM    Mm? FANSHAW    He claims to know the bible, but then he goes on about this spiritism nonsense.  And purgatory!  I may not be a divinity scholar but a childhood of churchgoing taught me that that is a catholic conceit, and he's got it wrong anyway.  Purgatory was where souls waited out a period of penance, while their friends and family prayed for their release.  LEM    How'd they know if they got out? FANSHAW    I believe the priests would tell them.  It always smacked of extortion to me. LEM    [laughs]  Well.  How's all this gonna make a damn lick of difference just now? FANSHAW    What?  LEM    Whatever it is he believes - it gonna change the price of oats? FANSHAW    [sigh]  No.  LEM    Good.  That's cleared up, then.  Road's widenin up, and we'll be alongside the wagon agin soon.  MUSIC EMMA    We need to send Melody somewhere.  If only you had let her marry-- CARTLAND    She's 16 - too damn young, and don't know her own mind. EMMA    I know, but if she was away-- CARTLAND    Dammit woman.  You are my wife, and I will not be argued with. EMMA    Of course.  [beat]  Something bit her. CARTLAND    Bit?  Like a snake? EMMA    The marks....um... they looked-- CARTLAND    Oh, just spit it out. EMMA    They looked like they were made by a man! MUSIC SOUND    THEY ARE STOPPED. HORSES, HARNESS, DISMOUNT, ETC. SULLIVAN    Thank you ever so much for helping me to find my way.  I'm not much of an outdoorsman.  Or horseman. FANSHAW    Nor much of a cleric, apparently. LEM    Right happy to help.  Why is it you were comin all the way out here in the first place?  [chuckles] Not to put on a play. SULLIVAN    [chuckles] It is rather a curious wagon, isn't it?  But I am afraid my job here is rather confidential. CARTLAND    [yelling from off] Is that the Reverend?  Get on in here!  SULLIVAN    [dithering] Oh, um I-- LEM    I'll look to your horses.  You get along. SULLIVAN    Excellent.  FANSHAW    I don't like him.  LEM    You don' like his views. FANSHAW    They're gibberish! LEM    'Zat anythin like folderol?  [serious]  Why'n't you go on in and see what brand o' folderol he's spinnin to the good folks inside. FANSHAW    [stiff upper lip] I shall try and keep my temper. LEM    [muttered] Tryin never hurt no one. SOUND    A FEW MOMENTS OF UNHARNASSING, THEN SUDDEN TUSSLE, RED GRABS LEM AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE WALL OF THE BARN SOUND    HORSES ANNOYED, SHYING SOUND    GUN COCKS RED    [snarled] The Deadeye Kid. MUSIC SOUND    FANSHAW ENTERS CARTLAND    --convince her it ain't nothing but temper! EMMA    But the bite! SULLIVAN    A bite?  EMMA    She looks like she was bit, bad. CARTLAND    There's no way anyone could get in there and bite her. SULLIVAN    It isn't unheard of. FANSHAW    A bite? CARTLAND    [suspicious] Really? EMMA    See! SULLIVAN    Manifestations have demonstrated their ability to affect the material world in any number of ways. FANSHAW    [suspicious] Oh.  Do tell? CARTLAND    There's a simple answer for this.  She bit her own damn self.  She pulls one more shenanigan, and I'm taking a strap to the damn girl. EMMA    Never!  Our father wouldn't-- CARTLAND    He shoulda!  If your sister weren't spoiled, we wouldn't have to have this idjit in. SULLIVAN    Sir!  I am well respected in-- CARTLAND    [furious, overbearing] You are here to prove this ain't nothing but women's hysteria and a mulish girl's temper.  EMMA    But if it is something else? FANSHAW    What do you think it may be, I wonder? CARTLAND    Either she's doing this to herself, or she's plumb loco.  Which way do you prefer?  She's your flesh and blood. SOUND    BEHIND DOOR - CRASH MELODY    [screams] [BREAK]   MUSIC RED    What the hell are you doing here? LEM    Do I... know you? RED    Mebbe not, but I know you.  You're the Deadeye Kid. LEM    [resigned] Who'd I kill, that yer so riled about? RED    What in tarnation is wrong with you? LEM    Aside from being slammed up agin a barn, with iron in my face, nuttin comes to mind. RED    I'us there in Carson City.  Five years ago.  Watched you take down Iron John Sandoval. LEM    [after a pause]  And? RED    Saw how fast y'are.  Hmph.  Used to be. LEM    Mmm? RED    [offended]  You din't even see me comin. LEM    My mind was took up with sumpin else. SOUND    HAMMER EASES BACK RED    You should vamoose.  This ain't no place for them as has lost their edge. LEM    You might wanna back off a piece. RED    Whyzzat?  Can't look me in the face and admit you're getting old? LEM    My gun hand's starting to cramp up sumpin fierce, and I cain't ease down til you pull your cohones off'n the barrel.  RED    You - what?  [looking down, gasps] LEM    Right shame to shave your stumps - seein as we're all compadres now. SOUND    BACKS OFF SOUND    HAMMER DOWN, GUN INTO HOLSTER, SLAP ON THE BACK LEM    You look like a man that might could use a drink.  MUSIC SOUND    HORSES, BARN SOUND    FANSHAW ENTERS FANSHAW    I say, Lem?  Are you alone? LEM    Lessen you wanna chat with the hosses. FANSHAW    What do you really think of this fellow? LEM    From yer tone, I'm guessin you mean the reverend - doctor. FANSHAW    Ye-ess. LEM    I figger he's harmless.  Cain't actually know a lick about all's he's talkin about. FANSHAW    Right.  [beat]  Do you ever wonder? LEM    I wonder alla time.  Any particular wonderin yer wonderin about? FANSHAW    About this.  About spirits.  About good and evil. LEM    Never reckoned on em hitched like'at.  FANSHAW    You don't think of ghosts as being somehow inherent wicked? LEM    You havin a crisis of faith?  I reckon jest like with anyone, only you can know if you're evil. FANSHAW    I - well, I don't mean myself, I suppose.  LEM    [teasing]  So you think you're better than e'rbody else. FANSHAW    No.  I don't know.  LEM    What brought all this on? FANSHAW    From what I observed in the house, there may be an argument here for an evil spirit of some sort. LEM    And? FANSHAW    And?  And what?  LEM    Spirits're just as evil or saintly as the folks they used to be.  Don't make no nevermind to no one but me. FANSHAW    I mean an evil spirit with ... powers. LEM    [sure] Ain't no such thing. FANSHAW    Are you so very certain? MUSIC SOUND    OUTSIDE, WALKING LEM    I ain't never seen no spirit could touch nothin in the real world. FANSHAW    Neither have I, but what if there is? LEM    We do whatever we gots to. SOUND    FEET APPROACH RED    [coming in] Kid! LEM    [sigh]  Just Lem, if'n you please. RED    Oh, drat.  Right.  You done with them horses? LEM    Tucked up tight.  You ast about the job? FANSHAW    Job? RED    Mr. Cartland's right happy to have another hand, even if you don't plan on staying fer long.  With all that's been a-going on-- LEM    What all is it that's been a-goin on? FANSHAW    Evil spirits. LEM    Is it what's been drivin off all your help? RED    Come on, let's getcha some grub.  Hank'll be pleased to have someone new to jaw to. MUSIC SOUND    KITCHEN, EATING SOUND    DOOR OPENS HANK    Red. RED    Hank.  This is Lem.  Come in with the doctor fella. LEM    Hank. HANK    You work for the reverend? RED    He's-- LEM    I work fer jest about anyone as needs me.  Doctor needed a guide. RED    Lem's gonna help out round here fer a while. LEM    Long as the doc's on hand, might as well make myself useful. HANK    Did you tell him what's going on?  What cleared us out? RED    Here, have a plate of stew, Lem.  I'm sure Hank can tell it better'n me. HANK    [uncertain] Oh, I--- RED    He actually saw it. LEM    Saw what? HANK    That girl.  She's possessed! LEM    Possessed of what? HANK    No!  Possessed!  Taken over by an evil spirit! LEM    [considering] I don't figger I put much stock in such things.  Ain't no other explanation? HANK    What else could explain how I - I saw a strange light in her window late at night-- LEM    What were you doin' out? HANK    [thrown off] What?  I was - uh - having a smoke. LEM    She a good-lookin' girl?  Apart from whatever travail she's in? HANK    That ain't the point.  I was off a ways and saw a light.  It din't look natural.  So I went closer to see. LEM    How high's this window? HANK    I don't know!  Chest-high, I s'pose.  But I sawr everything!  [yarning]  Right from the first, I was froze to the spot.  Couldn't look away.  In this strange blueish colored light, there was something flyin back and forth across the room-- LEM    A bird? HANK    No!  A cushion or a hat or something - something that had no damn business flyin! LEM    [mild amazement] Oh! HANK    And then I saw the girl herself crawling about the floor like an animal.  LEM    Mebbe she dropped sumpin. HANK    But it weren't natural!  You can explain away one thing after another, but that light won't never look right. LEM    I meant no disrespect, just know how late at night moonlight can be a bit mazy.  Can make things look wrong way round and bigger than life. HANK    Well, this weren't out in the moonlight - it was in her room. LEM    Right.  HANK    You ain't a-scared? LEM    I'm a bit behind when it comes to afearin things.  Got to see sumpin for myself before I can work up to gooseflesh.  Yerself? HANK    I'm pert near hightailing it out of here, I tell you what.  One more night like that and you'll be seeing the back of me. RED    Ain't likely, Hank old hoss.  You relish the tellin of your tall tales too much to miss a chance fer another one. MUSIC CARTLAND    It's pure mulishness, is what it is.  The girl wanted to marry, and I said no. SULLIVAN    You're surely not her father, though? CARTLAND    Father's passed on.  I ain't blood, but I married her sister and that makes me the lawful man of the house and head of this family.  She gots to understand that. EMMA    I still think-- CARTLAND    Regardless of whether she's old enough to marry, I wan't about to let her run off to the damn Wishwells and take half the ranch with her. EMMA    Our father left us even shares. FANSHAW    Hmm.  And that man married yours. SULLIVAN    Ah.  I should talk to the girl, now. MUSIC HANK    Well.  SOUND    SLAPS THIGHS, GETS UP HANK    That hay won't pitch itself.  Care to lend a hand, feller? LEM    Lem.  I-- RED    I need him yet fer a mite.  I'll send him along when we're through. LEM    That's a mighty fine looking belt buckle you got there, Hank.  Turquoise? HANK    Yup.  LEM    And silver.  [musing] Mighty fine. SOUND    WALKS OUT DOOR LEM    Why d'you stay, Red? RED    Been with Mr. Cartland for nigh on 10 years. Since before he married the missus.  Fact is, that was when we came through Carson City. LEM    You friends? RED    Nah, he ain't one fer making friends of the hands.  But he's fair.  Hard, but fair.   LEM    Now tell me.  [a bit humorous] Apart from having the nerve of a grizzly, why ain't you scairt? RED    I plumb don't feel it.  Whatever's a-going on with the girl, it don't hit me here.  You ken? LEM    I reckon. RED    It's like ... play actors.  They can make you like the story, but they cain't never make it real. LEM    Gotta good solid head on them shoulders, Red.  I purpose to find out what all's transpirin here, and if'n yer strapped fer it, I'd shore thank'ee kindly for any help. RED    [admiring] You ain't lost none of yer sand, have ya? LEM    I reckon the wind's just blowin it in the right direction these days. MUSIC SOUND    DOOR CREAKS OPEN SULLIVAN    Young lady?  MELODY    [very tired and small sounding] Who's there? CARTLAND    It's the feller gonna tell you what a liar you been. EMMA    Husband! CARTLAND    Go on then.  Tell her. EMMA    I'll open them shutters. MELODY    No! EMMA     Just a crack!  It's fair dark in here! SOUND    FEET, SHUTTERS SULLIVAN    Sir!  I must insist on being able to interview the girl in relative peace! CARTLAND    I ain't a-stopping you. SULLIVAN    You must be quiet and leave the girl to answer for herself. EMMA    Please! CARTLAND    [somewhat subdued]  Go on. SULLIVAN    Miss Heath, your lady sister has told me some of your symptoms, but I would like to hear them from you.  What is your chief complaint? MELODY    They never let me sleep! FANSHAW    [far corner] Poor girl does look tired. CARTLAND    Nor us out here!  I ain't had a good night through in weeks. SULLIVAN     [sharp] Shh!  [calm]  They?  Who are "they"? MELODY    You won't believe me any more than anyone else does. CARTLAND    Hmph. SULLIVAN    I believe a great many things.  Pray, humor me. MELODY    They come at night, and pinch me.  Pinch my arms and legs - all over!  And one bit me - See here! CARTLAND    You bit your own damn self! MELODY    [whimpers] SULLIVAN    Sir!  Would you be kind enough to leave?  As long as you insist on berating the poor girl, she will never be calm enough to tell me all her troubles. CARTLAND    Fine.  Come on, woman. SOUND    DOOR ROUGHLY OPENS EMMA    Shouldn't I stay?  For decency's sake? CARTLAND    Man's a holy father, even if he is a soft-headed idjet.  Whatcha think he might do? EMMA    I suppose. MELODY    I'll call if I need help! EMMA    You do that. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS MUSIC SOUND    MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH RED    From his yarn, Hank was right about'chere when he saw the lights. LEM    Hard to reckon what this'ud look like in full dark.  What'us the moon like? RED    Middling, round about. LEM    Hmm.  And that'ud be the window? RED    Yup.  Though way Hank tells it, it was full open when he was looking. LEM    [surprised] Oh! RED    What? LEM    Let's fade back a bit.  Don't want anyone to spy us. RED    Why?  Mm?  [sees] Oh! MUSIC [BREAK]   AMB    OUTDOORS FANSHAW    There you are!  I've just witnessed the most appalling-- RED    Did we really see what I think we jest saw? LEM    I'm afeared so.  RED    That varmint!  Taking advantage of a nice-- LEM    She din't look "put out" to me.  Any fired-up on her part weren't the angry kind, if you catch me. FANSHAW    [sarcastic] Oh.  So you saw it too.  How useful am I? LEM    Mighty useful.  [slightly different] To know that sumpin's up with them.  Looked like they knowed each other afore this. RED    I guess you could safely say that. FANSHAW    I tactfully took my leave. SOUND    HOOFBEATS APPROACH RED    Who in tarnation?  Damn!  LEM    What? RED    [heavy import] That's Clyde Wishwell and his boys! MUSIC SOUND    TAP ON DOOR EMMA    Doctor?  Is everything all right in there? SULLIVAN    [within] Yes!  Quite.  SOUND    FOOTSTEPS APPROACH THEIR SIDE OF DOOR SULLIVAN    [within]  I have all I need for the moment. SOUND    DOOR OPENS SULLIVAN    [cautious] Is your husband ...nearby? EMMA    He had to step out. SULLIVAN    [relieved]  Ah. EMMA    I have the guest room ready for you.  Your drover can bunk with the men. SULLIVAN    My--?  Oh, yes.  That fellow.  My guide.  SOUND    STEPS OUT, CLOSES DOOR EMMA    Is she...  Is she going to be all right, sir? SULLIVAN    I think this will take some time, but yes.  I believe she can be saved. EMMA    Saved?  You talk like she's ailing! SULLIVAN    [serious] She is.  It is an ailment of the soul. MUSIC SOUND    GENERAL DISMOUNTING, ETC. CARTLAND    [barely concealed hostility]  Wishwell. WISHWELL    Mr. Cartland.  I hope you don't mind the intrusion? CARTLAND    What do you want? WISHWELL    We found a fellow lost on our property, claims he'us supposed to be coming here.  We decided to give him an escort. BAKER    [a bit too much swagger]  Yes, yes.  Many thanks.  You may go ahead and leave. WISHWELLS MEN    [annoyed muttering] CARTLAND    Who the devil are you? BAKER    You sent for me.  WISHWELL    He was mighty tight about his business with you, Mr. Cartland.  I'm right curious. BAKER    That is between Mr. Cartland and myself.  Are you waiting around for a reason?  I could-- SOUND    COINS RATTLE WISHWELL    [civility slipping] No need, sir!  I reckon a man does you a good turn, seeing you to your destination, rather than shooting your backside fulla buckshot as a trespasser, he deserves a bit of an explanation! CARTLAND    Yeah.  Explain. BAKER    [exasperated] Very well.  I am the ghost expert you sent away for. MUSIC AMB    OUT BACK LEM    Why'm I all of a sudden smellin a rat? FANSHAW    You mean Sullivan's obvious "familiarity" with young miss Heath? LEM    Biggest rat I seen recently. RED    You think they got somethin "on" between them? LEM    I'm wondrin has anyone actually clapped eyes on the fellow she got her heart pinned to. RED    How'd you hear about that? FANSHAW    Damn! LEM    [calm] I just hear things. RED    Oh.  But it was one of the Wishwells she was a-hankerin after.  FANSHAW    And the Wishwells just rode in.  Perhaps we should go and take a look at the other side of this little chess match. LEM    Lets go get us a look at the Wishwells. RED    Right. FANSHAW    I'll stay in the house - keep an eye on the courting. MUSIC CARTLAND    YOU'RE the expert?  Then who the devil we got inside?  [yelling over his shoulder] Emma! BAKER    [smug] Well, I can't help you there, I'm no clairvoyant - merely a seeker after truth in the field of spiritualism. WISHWELL    [a bit worried] Really?  Hmm. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, EMMA COMES ONTO PORCH EMMA    What is it?  Oh!  Comp'ny! CARTLAND    They ain't compny, they's Wishwells.  Get that city slicker out here.  We got a bit of a branding problem here. BAKER    Are you implying there's someone here claiming to be me? CARTLAND    Someone here's claiming something, but I don't know which of you it might be. SOUND    SWITCH OF PERSPECTIVE, FEET APPROACHING - RED AND LEM BAKER    [off a bit] I have credentials and letters of recommendation. RED    That's Ezekial Wishwell, in the tan hat.  He's a big rancher over t'other side of the valley. LEM    And if one of his marries that Miss, inside- RED    Reckon he'll get his hands on her half of the ranch here. LEM    Hmm. SOUND    FADING BACK TO CARTLAND's POV WISHWELL    You sent off for a ghost hunter, and you cain't even remember his name? CARTLAND    I contacted him through some damn psychical society in the newspaper out of Carson city.  BAKER    Yes.  Precisely.  The "friends in passing". CARTLAND    And it's bad enough I gotta do such a damn fool thing just so's I can put my wife's mind at rest about her damn fool sister-- SOUND    DOOR OPENS, FEET ON PORCH EMMA    Here he is. SULLIVAN    You needed me for something? [FADING BACK TO LEM] WISHWELL    Whatcha gonna do with two of them? SULLIVAN    Two of who? BAKER    Is that the imposter? EMMA    What? RED    It's the doggonest thing I ever heered of! LEM    It's a wonder, sure enough. FANSHAW    They've vacated the - ahem - bedroom.  RED    You think there's gonna be a fight?  Dunno that them two guys would make much of a scrap - that first one's too prissy and citified, and the other's kind of a runt.  But it might be something to see. LEM    I need a chance to palaver. FANSHAW    This might explain the idiotic views of Sullivan - I mean, if he is the imposter. LEM    [muttered] People can be thick as two thumbs and still ain't liars.  Happens all th'time. SOUND    FADING BACK TO CARTLAND RED    Whazzat? LEM    Trying to logic out which might be the one sposed to be here. FANSHAW    Oh, there's the girl! SOUND    BARE FEET ON WOODEN PORCH [argument that runs under above] SULLIVAN    I am an ordained minister, sir, of the church of the holy seekers after truth! BAKER    That hack cabal?  They wouldn't know a phantom from an apparition.  I have trained with the most respectable societies in the British Isles! SULLIVAN    Hidebound stick-in-the-muds! BAKER    Newfangled snot-nosed infants, tampering with forces outside your ken! SULLIVAN    Infants!  I'll have you know-- SOUND    MELODY'S BARE FEET RUN OUT ONTO THE DIRT MELODY    Stop!  Please!  [scream of terror, some thrashing about] CARTLAND    What the devil? SULLIVAN    Quickly, bring some warm tea, and a cold compress, if you have one. EMMA    Yes!  SOUND    SHE DASHES INTO THE HOUSE BAKER    Stay back!  The girl is under attack. WISHWELL    Looks like some kind of fit. CARTLAND    Fit o' temper.  Get up, girl! SOUND    FEET ENTER LEM    Mr. Cartland, might could I drop a word in your ear? CARTLAND    Who the hell are you?  Oh, right, you come in with the preacher - maybe preacher. LEM    Something you need to know. FANSHAW    Are you planning to tell him about the assignation?  He'll do something terrible to that poor girl - you've seen how beastly he is to her. LEM    I know you're looking after the best interests of your family here. FANSHAW    He threatened to beat her! CARTLAND    I do what I gotta. FANSHAW    Even if she is feigning all of this, surely she doesn't deserve-- LEM    And I can tell you're purt near your wits end. CARTLAND    zat so? LEM    I think you done took more than most men can take, so I don't fault you none for flyin off the handle.  I might could have an answer for all this. CARTLAND    [interested] Really? LEM    Yup.  It was somethin that Sullivan fellow said regarding the bible. CARTLAND    [disbelieving] Really? LEM    Once they get this little dustup sorted, mebbe could I try something?  CARTLAND    What you planning? LEM    I promise you, I don't reckon no one'll get hurt - leastways not bad - but beyond that, can't tell you much or it'll fall flat.  CARTLAND    Is this some of this spiritual hoodoo manure? LEM    Well, let's say I'm gonna connive them into believin it is. CARTLAND    Hmm...  [chuckle]  Go on, then. MUSIC EMMA    She's settled again, but she keeps tossing and a-turning. CARTLAND    [calmer]  If I'm right, and she's just doing this all out of pique, what do you think should be done?  You really think us going on and giving in is gonna make everything all right? EMMA    Me?  I--  but it's too drastic to be-- CARTLAND    I ain't asking if you think she's making it all up, just what you reckon we should oughtta do if she is. EMMA    Oh.  [pacing]  Well.  It's a terrible thing she's doing - if she's doing it.  But it can't be easy on her, either.  All them hurts she's took. CARTLAND    Lotta effort to make you feel sorry for her. EMMA    If she's faking, then wouldn't the reverend know it? CARTLAND    Stick to the question at hand. EMMA    You're much less riled than you been in days - do you know something? CARTLAND    With two doctor types on hand, how can I not see a light at the end of this here tunnel? EMMA    Oh. CARTLAND    [almost gentle]  I'm waiting. EMMA    I agree - we can't, in good conscience, let her get her way through these kinds of shenanigans - always assuming she's-- CARTLAND    Yes, yes.  We're assuming. EMMA    But what can we do for punishment?  Lock her away?  I couldn't bear that. CARTLAND    What'choo think about schooling? EMMA    What? CARTLAND    Send her off to school - back east or somewheres where rich folks send their girls, and take the cost of the schooling out of her half the ranch.  We'll call it bail. EMMA    It would keep her away from the Wishwells.  And it would get her away from-- CARTLAND    Us?  EMMA    [sigh] Yes. MUSIC LEM    I may not have the booklearnin y'all have, but I did have me a granny who did midwifing and could see and talk to all manner of spirits. SULLIVAN    Really?  How ...rustic BAKER    You should never pooh-pooh the lay folk.  Many have toiled in the fields of the supernatural without even realizing they did. Back home in-- SULLIVAN    Of course, it is only a pity that so often they were seen as enemies of the church and persecuted, rather than embraced and put to good works. FANSHAW    Good gad, they're even worse in harmony. LEM    Well, Granny once told me of a sure cure for a plague of spirits. BAKER    Oh yes? FANSHAW    Watch out, he'll write a monograph on your granny.  Did you really have one? LEM    O'course.  It ain't easy, and it ain't exactly safe.  But when the only other path is being ridden round with spirits all your life, it's sometimes a risk you gots to take. SULLIVAN    Dangerous? LEM    O'course.  You got to make the spirits flee outta the afflicted one, and t'only way to do it is to convince them you're about to kill that person. SULLIVAN    [horrified] KILL? BAKER    That makes a strange sort of sense. LEM    Best ways are violent.  You cain't sneak up behind 'em, since half the convincin has to be that the one what's afflicted gots to believe it.  FANSHAW    Mention the flagellants in the bible.  They used whips to cleanse themselves of-- SULLIVAN    But we can't - that-that poor girl! BAKER    I am not certain I could do it myself, but I would be most interested in observing. LEM    Oh, I can do it.  You two should oughta  make sure no one else gets in the way, though. SULLIVAN    But you wouldn't really hurt her? LEM    I s'pose it depends.  Sometimes, the spirits are figurin you wouldn't really hurt no one, and they hang on for the first hurt or two.  Like them fellas that whip themselves bloody right there in the bible. SULLIVAN    [horrified] Oh no!  I can't let you do that to any poor defenseless woman. LEM    Don't think it's your choice to make, old hoss.  BAKER    As long as she is afflicted, it will have to be dealt with. SULLIVAN    Let me try something else, first!  I might have a way to-- LEM    That's right fine.  We'll come along and observe your way. SULLIVAN    No!  It's -- it has to be performed in total secrecy. LEM    Cain't hide from the spirits, though. FANSHAW    I take the hint. BAKER    You should be grateful for the help. SULLIVAN    Leave me alone for a minute!  I have to - to pray! SOUND    WALKS OFF FAST LEM    [almost a chuckle] BAKER    What got into him? FANSHAW    I think he truly cares for the girl. LEM    A mighty old spirit indeed. MUSIC [BREAK]   EMMA    They're gonna hurt her? CARTLAND    They don't think it will come to much.  Just enough to scare the spirits out of her. EMMA    Melody's my sister - I cain't just let them beat her! CARTLAND    [trying to be comforting] Don't sound like there's any other way they're gonna manage this.  [beat] This feller sounds like he knows what he's doing. EMMA    [incredulous] Sounds like he--?  How can you say that? CARTLAND    [curt]  I will stop him before he does anything too... drastic.  EMMA    You got no fine feelings about seeing her hurt.  You would have-- CARTLAND    [getting annoyed] I'da punished her, yeah.  Now get out my way.  I'm done talkin! MUSIC RED    Lem, over here a minute. LEM    [queit] Yeah? [up]  Mister Baker, why don't you see if the lady of the house might be able to find you a spot to sleep tonight?  BAKER    And that charlatan? LEM    Doctor Sullivan?  You let me handle him.  Oh, and - sunset.  That's the time to deal with ghosts. BAKER    Sunset? LEM    So says my gran. BAKER    Right.  I am quite interested to see how this goes. SOUND    BAKER WALKS OFF LEM    Sorry about that. RED    What are you up to? LEM    Takin a tip from the bible.  You with me? RED    Spect so.  WISHWELL    Could I have a word with you, sir? LEM    [sigh] Spect so. MUSIC SOUND    TAPPING ON WOOD [Sullivan sounds very different, western, rather than citified, and is speaking quietly, to avoid being overheard] SULLIVAN    Melody?  Melody? FANSHAW    Hmph.  Praying indeed.  I would say he's rather old for her, but that moustache doesn't do much to hide a cheek that's barely seen a  razor. SULLIVAN    Please, Mel, honey! SOUND    TEENSY CREAK OPEN MELODY    Wallace?  You shouldn't be out there! FANSHAW    Wallace?  SULLIVAN    I had to come!  Everything's falling apart. MELODY    What do you mean? SULLIVAN    They've got some cockamamie scheme, and sounds like they're planning to hurt you.  Maybe bad. MELODY    Emma'd never let them do that! SULLIVAN    There's enough people here got no patience left, I doubt but that she couldn't stop them.  Can't you turn this? MELODY    It's got away from me!  What can I do? SULLIVAN    Maybe just say you're cured? MELODY    And then what?  That leaves me here with folks that hate me and no chance o'nothin'?  No chance of... us?  I'll die first! SULLIVAN    I'll try and come up with something.  But if it comes down to it, stop them before they hurt you.  Please promise you will! MELODY    [grim] I'll do what I gotta do. MUSIC WISHWELL    What you fixing to do, sir? LEM    Come sunset, I'll take drastic measures to free that girl from her torment. WISHWELL    You sound like you might have to kill her. LEM    I'm sure the reverend - uh - doctor sullivan can speak you best on torment and the afterlife.  He's got a nose fer it. WISHWELL    But what exactly are you planning to do? FANSHAW    Don't turn round.  Sullivan is lurking.  LEM    [sigh]  I hate to see anyone in pain.  But sometimes, ain't no choice.  If'n there's a spirit a-punishin that child, it ain't gon be easy to spook it out.  I may have to shoot her. SOUND    [men - including RED, WISHWELL, react]  LEM    [matter of fact] Don't worry none, though.  I once shot a man eight times - a'purpose - and he din't die.  [shrug] Can't use one hand no more, but apart from that he all healed up jest fine. WISHWELL    [horrified] And Cartland's gonna let you go on and do this? LEM    I get the feeling that if his wife would allow, he'd do it hisself - he's that plumb wore out with the girl. WISHWELL    And what if we all decide to stop you? LEM    I don't see as how it's any of your business. SOUND    GUNS OUT WISHWELL    [sterner] And what if we all decide to stop you? SOUND    SHOTGUN COCKS CARTLAND    [off]  I think mebbe it's time fer you to get along home, then, Wishwell. SOUND    GUNS UP WISHWELL    [forces laugh]  We were just looking out for your best interests, Cartland.  Have you heard?  This here fellow is fixing to shoot your sister. CARTLAND    Well, something's gotta be done with the girl.  FANSHAW    Is he serious, or did you have a chance to warn him? LEM    Glad to see you took my counsel serious, Mr. Cartland. FANSHAW    Ah.  CARTLAND    And now Wishwell, you and your boys can take my counsel - Git! WISHWELL    I'll be telling the sheriff about these goings on.  CARTLAND    You do that.  Sunset's about an hour away - you won't get there and back by then.  And I figure this way.  If my wife's sister can be bit by ghosts, maybe she can get shot by them too.  Ain't no one here gonna say otherwise, once all's said and done. MUSIC SOUND    TAPPING ON SHUTTER MELODY    Wallace? FANSHAW    [explaining] That's Sullivan. SOUND    TAPPING LEM    [indistinguishable grunt] MELODY    Wallace? SOUND    SHUTTER CREAKS OPEN MELODY    Are you-- [gasp of fear!] LEM    You want to talk to me, girl.  And you want to stay quiet. MELODY    My sister is jest in the next room. LEM    I know.  And I ain't askin fer nothin improper.  Cartland's got Sullivan sewed up in argument fer the moment, so I got one chance for you. MELODY    Chance?  Fer what? LEM    Wallace.  You in love with the boy, or jest lookin fer a way out from under your folks? MELODY    We're in love.  LEM    You want him more than you want your share of the ranch? MELODY    [teensy hesitation]  Yes. LEM    And would he and his take you without you had that parcel to offer? MELODY    He would.  LEM    And his pa out there?  Mr. Wishwell? MELODY    [gasp] You know? LEM    I know a lotta things.  F'r'instance, tonight's gonna be an interestin night.  MUSIC FANSHAW    So if they're genuinely in love -- LEM    I think they are.  He's plumb torn up about the chance as she might get hurt.  Mebbe she's not so worried, but she seems true. FANSHAW    Then this is just like Shakespeare - Romeo and juliet.  Families opposed to one another, romance between the younger generation. LEM    'Zat give us any aid with sorting out this rats nest? FANSHAW    Well, they both died.  So I guess not. LEM    Hmm.  Plays. FANSHAW    What are you thinking? LEM    Well... I was playing at solomon.  Threatnin the girl to bring out-- FANSHAW    [realizing] The real-- Yes!  I've got it.  Jolly clever. LEM    I'm thinkin mebbe I got the wrong baby. FANSHAW    The wrong what? MUSIC In house CARTLAND    Can't be long now. EMMA    You won't let him really hurt her, will you? CARTLAND    [gentle] Emma.  He promised he wouldn't.  We have to convince her he would, though.  She gots to believe it. EMMA    Why? CARTLAND    If she's faking, she has to cry off.  If she ain't... well... he says the spirits gotta be convinced she's gonna die, so they'll haveta leave. EMMA    Oh.  I see.  Thank you. CARTLAND    [uncomfortable]   Right.  Just find us one of them schools, woudja? MUSIC OUTSIDE LEM    [talking to a crowd] Much as it pains me to have to do this, um, I reckon there ain't no way to solve this problem til we drive out the spirits here. BAKER    Where is the girl? LEM    She's a coming. SOUND    DOOR OPENS LEM    Speak of the devil. SOUND    SEVERAL PEOPLE WALKING OUT ON WOOD MELODY    Please!  What are you going to do? SULLIVAN    I protest!  I don't think this is safe! LEM    [muttered] We got any other company? FANSHAW    The wishwells never went very far.  Just out of sight, then circled back.  They're behind the barn. LEM    Good. FANSHAW    Red appears to be in his allotted position.  Hank is nowhere to be seen. LEM    Hmph.  [up]  Get on over here miss. MELODY    I'm scared! CARTLAND    It gots to be done. EMMA    Be strong, Melody. FANSHAW    No arguments?  Hmm.  I sense a reconciliation in the family. LEM    Harmony ain't no bad thing. FANSHAW    Rather goes with melody, actually. MELODY     What is it you plan to do? LEM    Gon' drive the evil sprits out.  Need you to stand right here, miss.  Don't move a muscle.  You got me? MELODY    Emma!  I don't want to do this! EMMA    Melody, there ain't no choice.  Not no more. SULLIVAN     I agree with the young lady - I feel this is too dangerous. MELODY    Dangerous?  Wh-what's a-going to happen? CARTLAND    [commanding but not being mean] Stand still, and let the man do his work. LEM    All y'all back on the porch now, if'n you please. SOUND    FEET LEM    Now miss, if you'll hold yerself real still. MELODY    I'll do my best. SOUND    GUNSHOT, HITS WOOD MELODY    [screams!]   [break?] EMMA    Be careful! MELODY    What did you do that for?  LEM    I'm shooting the ghosts.  That's why you gotta hold real still. SOUND    GUNSHOT MELODY     [gasp]  You nearly hit me! FANSHAW    The wishwells are getting closer. LEM    Good. SOUND    THREE GUNSHOTS MELODy    [scream of pain!] EMMA    What's that?  You said you wouldn't hurt her!  Is that blood? LEM    That's jest splinters.  Stay back. SOUND    TWO GUNSHOTS MELODY    [scream] SULLIVAN    Nooooooooo! SOUND    RUNNING FEET, SLOW MO SOUND    GUNSHOT SULLIVAN    [argh!  Death rattle] MELODy    [scream, death rattle] FANSHAW    [dry] Two with one shot.  Oh my. EMMA    [screaming] SOUND    RUNNING FEET LEM    Mr. Cartland, hold your wife.  Mr. Baker? BAKER    [flustered] um, um - yes. LEM    You got any doctoring? BAKER    Yes, yes, of course.  I'll check on them. WISHWELL    [coming roaring in]  Nooo! CARTLAND    What the devil you doing here, Wishwell? LEM    Stay back, there.  Let the doctor do his business. WISHWELL    Wallace!  Damn you, you sidewinder!  You are a dead man! SOUND    GUNS DRAW WISHWELL    You ain't steppin in this time, Cartland! CARTLAND    If I just saw what just happened, you kin have him. LEM    [Unconcerned]  Afore you start throwin lead, mebbe you two should take some of the blame on yerselves. CARTLAND    What? WISHWELL    You can go to blazes! LEM    If you two weren't such prickly porcupines on the subject of them kids getting married, none of this woulda ever happened. CARTLAND    That's who she wanted to marry?  And he's a wishwell? WISHWELL    He's my youngest, you son of a buzzard.  Sent him off back east to school, make a better man of him.  And now all that's ashes. CARTLAND    He ain't a reverend, then? FANSHAW    Goodness, they're a bit slow. LEM    Hush, now!  Now you two can be joined in your misery, like you might have been joined by them kids.  Only damn fool you gotta hate now is me. CARTLAND    He ain't said they're dead.  Doctor? BAKER    [calling] I'm doing what I can. WISHWELL    My son?  Is he still with us? LEM    Hold it. SOUND    GUN COCKS WISHWELL    You stay out my way. SOUND    SHOTGUN RACKED RED    I think you better drop that gun Mr. Wishwell. CARTLAND    I'll go and-- RED    No, sir.  You wait too.  With all due respect. LEM    If them kids survive this, you let em marry? CARTLAND    They're too young.  She is, anyway. [don't forget the bit about sullivan not being as old as the moustasche and beard make him look] WISHWELL    You just don't wanna lose half the ranch. CARTLAND    I got plans for that half the ranch.  I got it planned right up til she comes of age. LEM    Mebbe if they can marry, she can leave you in charge til she comes of age.  Let you carry through your plans. EMMA    None of this matters!  Let me go to my sister! RED    Lem? LEM    Give em sumpin to live for, you two.  Make this up.  Tell them they ain't gotta be dead to be together. WISHWELL    You think that would help? LEM    I been near dead once or twice, and havin hope is a mighty fine thing. EMMA    Bart?  Please let her, Bart!  If you don't care to give Melody some hope, give me some! CARTLAND    If Wishwell agrees that I keep control for five more years. WISHWELL    We're gonna have to set this down in writin. EMMA    There ain't no time fer writing now!   [sharp]  You say it!  Both of you! CARTLAND    Fine.  Melody!  If'n you can hear me, you listen.  I'm telling you, you can marry that... boy.  We got it all worked out at this end. WISHWELL    Wallace?  Fight Wallace!  You idjit, jumping in front of a bullet fer a girl!  But you can have her if you want her.  Izzat good? CARTLAND    You all gonna put down yer guns now? LEM    That sounds fine.  What you'all think? MELODY    [perfectly fine] I think it sounds good.  But I gotta have a real fine dress.  Understand? EMMA    [astonished] Melody?  MELODY    I'm all right. SULLIVAN    We're both just fine. WISHWELL    Well... Damn! CARTLAND    All right, somebody better start explaining. RED    Lem?  Lem? MUSIC SOUND    RIDING SLOWLY LEM    Much as I hate walkin the horses by moonlight-- FANSHAW    I do think it's best to get while the getting is good.  Do you think they will keep their promises? LEM    Got witnesses enough between Baker and Red. FANSHAW    Whatever happened to Hank? LEM    That was probly me - I think I suspected his belt buckle too loudly and he took fright. FANSHAW    Paid to tell a tale? LEM    Ayup. FANSHAW    Solomon to Prince Escalus in one step.  I'm impressed. LEM    What are you jabberin on about? FANSHAW    That back there was Romeo and Juliet, was it not? LEM    Mebbe just a little.  [beat] You ever done any of them plays? FANSHAW    Oh, yes.  School.  LEM    You gotta be the one in the dress?  Like you were sayin?  You got a voice that might could pass. FANSHAW    Oh... [dropping voice as low as possible] No.  Actually, I often was the lead.  I even played romeo.  I was rather good at learning lines.  Of course, someone always had to put on the dress.  Boys and girls do not attend school together - not our sort of boys and girls, anyway. LEM    Seems like puttin a hat on a pig. FANSHAW    No.  It's just "theater." END

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And we are back with Season 2 of the UNAWARE podcast by Be Physiology! Get ready for a stream of honest and eye-opening conversations – with a lot of laughs along the way!  The first cab off the rank is Charles – a deep-thinking individual who offers us a unique perspective on disability. As far as Charles sees it, he is faced with two options every morning.  Option 1: stay in bed. Option 2: give it a go. It's not an easy decision. In this eye-opening interview, Charles explains how choosing Option 2 has made his life richer and more fulfilling than he ever could have imagined.  Once upon a time, he tells us, Charles' ego was centred around his position as a  company CEO. That's how he'd introduce himself at parties, anyway. Then, after he experienced an “unscheduled dismount” off a horse while riding with his daughter, his perspective changed. Charles describes how his body incurred a spinal cord injury that would change his way of doing life. Faced with the need to relinquish control,  Charles decided his ego should be more attached to his persona rather than his situation. He tells us how this shift in perspective allows him to discover new opportunities and explore possibilities. Oh, and it also had Charles challenging doctors when they told him he would never ride a bike. Update: he now rides a bike.  Our conversation with Charles leads to some valuable nuggets of wisdom and useful life advice. Listen in to hear Charles talk about the power of determination and the disability that hasn't been near as disabling as he expected.   Be Stories By Be Physiology | Season 2 of UNAWARE Tune in to hear our amazing guests talk about their experiences of disability. Ever wondered how it feels to live with a spinal cord injury? Or what it's like to use a wheelchair every day? Curious about how a brain injury can affect someone's day-to-day life? We discuss all this (and more!) in our second season of the podcast, titled ‘Be Stories'. Gain valuable insights into the world of NDIS support work, and learn what you definitely shouldn't say to a person living with disabilities! We chat about the perks of living with disabilities (convenient parking is one of many) and discover more about the challenges our guests have faced and overcome. We feel so privileged to be given the chance to discuss life and disability with these incredible people. Get ready for a stream of honest and eye-opening conversations – with a lot of laughs along the way!  P.S. This podcast contains a number of shameless plugs for exercise physiology, the most fantastic industry in the world. And no, of course, we're not biased… Subscribe now

Episode 363 of the PetaPixel Photography Podcast. Download MP3 -  Subscribe via iTunes, Google Play, email or RSS! Featured: Portrait photographer, Walter van Dusen   In This Episode If you subscribe to the PetaPixel Photography Podcast in iTunes, please take a moment to rate and review us and help us move up in the rankings so others interested in photography may find us. Show Opener:Portrait photographer, Walter van Dusen. Thanks Walter! Sponsors: - Get $15 off your first order over $150 at ShopMoment.com/PetaPixel with code PetaPixel15 - Fujifilm's 52 weeks of FREE education.  Build Your Legacy with Fujifilm - Get 20% off at SaramonicUSA.com with offer code PetaPixel20 - Get 20% off at Tenba.com with offer code PetaPixel20- Get a FREE Nanlite LitoLite 5C with qualifying purchase and newsletter signup at Nanliteus.com/litolite-giveaway - More at LensShark.com/deals. Stories: Canon discontinues a bunch of EF primes. (#) A big win for Canon's counterfeit battery woes. (#) Sony officially discontinues A-mount. (#) Sigma's latest all-metal lens in 20mm. (#) Peak Design introduces 15 new bags...kinda. (#) CP+ will once again be online-only. (#) Western Digital's contamination problem. (#) Delkin Devices fast, new cards. (#) A new image sensor from ViewSonic may change the game. (#) Angelbird takes flash media to a whole new level. (#) Connect With Us Thank you for listening to the PetaPixel Photography Podcast! Connect with me, Sharky James on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (all @LensShark) as we build this community. We'd love to answer your question on the show. Leave us an audio question through our voicemail widget, comment below or via social media. But audio questions are awesome! You can also cut a show opener for us to play on the show! As an example: “Hi, this is Matt Smith with Double Heart Photography in Chicago, Illinois, and you're listening to the PetaPixel Photography Podcast with Sharky James!”

Monica, a track racer in California shares her story of being clotheslined off her bike in a pretty brutal way.  Find pictures of the carnage and Monica in the race on the Facebook and Instagram page.

Join Kat, Marc and Handsome Bane as they bid adieu to 2021.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/we-should-do-this-again-sometime-with-kat-and-marc/donations

Join Kat, Marc and Handsome Bane as they bid adieu to 2021.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/we-should-do-this-again-sometime-with-kat-and-marc/donations The post The 2021 Dismount appeared first on Hyphen Podcast Group..

This week's episode is a tad bit different... We freestyled the topics and just went in a made ourselves a podcast. Have you ever heard of stealthing? Well, neither have we up until this point. Stealthing is when you or your partner removes the condom during sex to trap them. The next question is, is this some sucker ish? Next we recap the tweet heard round the world... Would you quit your job if you were handing a million dollars cash? Again... RIP MICHAEL K WILLIAMS!! We touch on 50 Cent's remarks on his death. We get into out Power Book III: Raising Kanaan review. We remind ourselves of the upcoming Verzuz between Fat Joe & Ja Rule... WHO YA GOT?! The NFL is back so we have a jam packed sports run down! Support this podcast

I talk about an emotional overload, having a panic attack during therapy, difficulty with creativity but doing it anyway, the attempts at “normalcy” we've experienced recently, and activities I'd like to do more often than I am right now. And then, I talk about a few of Bo Burnham's songs from his new special Inside and how one is magical and the other one surprisingly hurt so much. After that, I get into some particularly heavy stuff this episode. I discuss suicide in more detail than normal. This might be difficult to listen to for some people, so proceed with caution. I give warnings in the episode in multiple places. Listen at your own discretion. If you are struggling with suicide, please reach out. Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. I haven't made time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I'm still including the link to that and my Twitter. Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/) Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/cassieprmkhtr/support

Welcome to the Instant Trivia podcast episode 98, where we ask the best trivia on the Internet. Round 1. Category: Will Smith 1: In 2002 Will got an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of this sports icon. Muhammad Ali. 2: Will helped protect the Earth from the scum of the universe as Agent J in this 1997 film. Men in Black. 3: A tagline for this 2007 Will Smith film was "The last man on Earth is not alone". I Am Legend. 4: Starring with son Jaden in this 2006 film must have been fun; getting a second Oscar nomination, icing on the cake. The Pursuit of Happyness. 5: Will helped protect the Earth from the scum of the universe as Captain Steven Hiller in this 1996 film. Independence Day. Round 2. Category: "Dis"Integration 1: A strict rule enforcer. Disciplinarian. 2: To be formally released from military service, we hope honorably. Discharged. 3: To expel an attorney from the legal profession. Disbar. 4: To hop down from your camel or horse. Dismount. 5: The controller of a fleet of taxis. Dispatcher. Round 3. Category: "My" Oh, My! 1: These members of the starling family are known for their ability to mimic human speech. mynah birds. 2: It's the medical term for nearsightedness. myopia. 3: Gore Vidal's Ms. Breckinridge. Myra. 4: Used in packaging, insulation and photography, it's a trademarked thin polyester film. mylar. 5: This nation's capital city is Yangon. Myanmar. Round 4. Category: Opening Numbers Of Musicals 1: "Another Op'nin', Another Show". Kiss Me, Kate. 2: "Why Can't The English?". My Fair Lady. 3: "I Hope I Get It". A Chorus Line. 4: "Aquarius". Hair. 5: "All That Jazz". Chicago. Round 5. Category: Approbation 1: In 1982 Lenny Skutnick rescued a passenger on a crashed 737 from this D.C. river. Potomac. 2: Japanese consul Chiune Sugihara, who saved hundreds of Jews in WWII, bears the title "Righteous" this. Gentile. 3: Jody Williams won a 1997 Nobel Peace Prize for her efforts to ban these weapons. land mines. 4: In 1997, 5 decades late, 7 black soldiers received this highest award for bravery during WWII. the Congressional Medal of Honor. 5: Fittingly, CNN broke the news in 1997 when this man decided to give $1 billion to the U.N.. Ted Turner. Thanks for listening! Come back tomorrow for more exciting trivia!

If you point at a cemetery do all your fingers fall off? Langston and his guest Nick Chambers (Tawanda's Live Request) scratch the surface and more exploring this Jamaican superstition. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Jimmy Peoples has no holds barred unadulterated convo with some amazing up and coming comedians. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thepeoplesmic/support

Good to see you again, in this episode of Young Questers our heroes split up,(Always a fantastic idea), meet an unusual librarian, discover more about the Mirrorverse, and...try to get on a horse? Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/youngquesters?igshid=o9dn18dfhknx On tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZS7Qusm3/ And join our discord for updates: https://discord.gg/Cnr99t7DTa Cast: The DM: Maiya (she/her) Viera (she/they: Lily (she/her Inky (she/her): Sarah (she/her) Teri (she/her):Molly (she/her) Leo (he/him):Rosie (she/they) Kioni (he/him): Ash (they/them) Credits: Music: Frosty Forest by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com Music: Signs To Nowhere by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com Music: Faded Dream by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com

In this episode of Wildcat Minute, Chandra and Tyler Boudreau discuss Minute 72 of High School Musical, and explore the line between sweeping romantic gesture and creepy stalker moves. Also, our DCOM of the week is Gone are the Dayes. Wildcat Minute is a production of the Amateur Nerds. Rate, review, subscribe, tell your friends! Follow us on Twitter @amateurnerds Email us amateurnerdspresent@gmail.com Logo by @tgoldenart Music by Joe Winslow

This week on the show Coach Chris and Coach Ev are talking about the massively important kick-out and the many ways that surfers kook it by neglecting to control the end of their ride. 

Music By: Tim, Paul & Jenn Connor

Dropping back into another true crime related to what surprised me, a military service member and his spouse. I recall being younger and hearing about Lorena Bobbitt and her cutting of her husband's penis and tossing it out her car window. Being prior service myself I found a lot of interesting things about their relationship dynamics and challenges. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/dismount/message

Hero Club Presents our Annual Halloween Special! This year, we'll follow the Ohio College Cheer Squad during their Fall retreat. But the bonding activities and cheer drills will have to wait...for the Slasher of Red Bend is lurking in the shadows! George Primavera - DM/Benny Hapgood Nick Williams - Brockford "Beef" Labeaux Natasha Krause - Kimberly Mann Marcos Gonzalez - Drumston "Drum" Carrington Jasmine Chiong - Lydia Lee Dylan McCollum - Sheriff Marty Abbe-Schneider - Deputy

Reference article dated May 31, 2020 via nbclosangeles.com titled " Body Part Found in Double Murder Dismemberment Case. Long Beach, Costa Mesa, Los Alamitos JFTB (Joint Forces Training Base), California. #veteran #truecrime #california --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/dismount/message

I gotta say it has been a wild ride up till this point. I've made some new friendships, developed some better hobbies and habits. And the conversations I've had so far have been amazing! In person, social media, on a live or on the phone. They have all helped me not only have better days but better "shitty days". --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/dismount/message

Music By: Tim, Paul & Jenn Connor

Today Nina and J will be discussing the many ways you could be losing current and potential clients. But, not to worry. You know they are going to drop some knowledge and share their TOP 4 tips on how to create the perfect flow in your business and how to keep the client retention high. Sneak peak: 1. The Prep 2. The Intro 3. The Performance 4. The Dismount. Join us. The NSLB Podcast is sponsored by Oligo Professionnel.

Music By: Tim, Paul & Jenn Connor

A seasoned professional recalls a REDRUM-style graffiti situation from a fight, a run-in with two students having sex, and a missing student call turning darker.*TRIGGER WARNING: The following episode of On-Call Rotation includes a discussion on suicidal actions and self-harm. Some content may be triggering or disturbing for some listeners.Crisis Line: You never know who might need Crisis Text Line. Pass it on and tell the people in your life to text HOME to 741741 if they’re ever in crisis.If you are feeling suicidal, please know that you are not alone. You can call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Music By Tim, Paul & Jenn Connor

Pat, Paul, and Dismount in...well near the studio, talking and judging everything about the pro road season approaching. 

Vehicle Prep: Movement & Dismount!Host: Dane "The Gunmetal Armory"American Preppers Radio aka Prepper Broadcasting! Thursdays 9:00pm/Est 8:00pm/Ct 6:00pm/PtLive Listen and Chat go HERE! This week, on The Gunmetal Armory… we dive into the second Part of Vehicle Prep: Movement & Dismount. Vehicular Prep is not just about the Gear we carry within and the emergencies we are prepared for, it is also about the way we move when we're mounted, where we travel, how we dismount and move when we dismount. We are likely to encounter all sorts of situations when on foot, and we have discussed alot of them, but we havent not talked about how we can use a Vehicular transport to our advantage and what things we need to pay attention to when “on the road”. This Thursday, we will cover Vehicular Movement Prep, routes, crossing obstacles, how to handle specific types of obstacles you may face, ambushes and counter-ambushes, shelter and... Read More HERE!Visit in our chat room HERE! Tags: Gunmetal Armory, Prepper Broadcasting