Podcasts about working dads

serving jeremy smith half acre working dads mindful return

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2024 17:55

Busy Working Dad + FITNESS SUCCESS STORY- How Mark Hemmer REALLY DOES IT!

time busy success stories af crossfitters fitness success working dads delani mark hemmer

Jeremy Smith...Serving Working Dads

If You've Come This Far

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2024 56:22

In this episode, Shaun and Chris talks with Jeremy Smith, Working Dad Course Lead for Mindful Return. The guys talk about being a dad, parental leave, leave and careers, coffee, leave as compensation, the importance of communication and more.Read about Jeremy in this WSJ articleLearn more about Mindful ReturnThis episode is brought to you by Half Acre Brewery. Check out the wonderful beers on Half Acre's website.

74. Navigating Homeschooling as a Single, Working Dad: Interview with Michael Nelson

School to Homeschool

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 46:08 Transcription Available

Michael Nelson, a dedicated single father and accomplished web developer, opens up about his transformative journey into homeschooling his three children. Drawing inspiration from his own upbringing under the tutelage of his teacher mother, Michael blends foundational skill-building with fostering autonomy in his kids. He shares insights on managing educational records and navigating college admissions, debunking common myths and offering practical guidance to those considering or engaged in homeschooling. Exploring the dichotomy between homeschooling and public education, Michael candidly addresses initial skepticism and misconceptions, underscoring the value of personalized learning. He relays personal anecdotes, like successfully tutoring his children during an illness, to highlight how one-on-one attention can surpass traditional classroom education. We discuss the importance of balancing public education's foundational skills with the self-directed learning homeschooling provides, noting the growing acceptance of diverse educational paths. Crafting a curriculum that caters to his children's unique learning styles, Michael, with the support of his homeschooling community, illustrates the power of flexible scheduling and diverse resources. As we navigate socialization challenges and evolving homeschooling stereotypes, he reassures parents by emphasizing the benefits of connecting with local communities and embracing flexible teaching methodologies. This episode serves as an empowering guide for parents, particularly single fathers, offering reassurance and encouragement to confidently embark on the rewarding path of homeschooling. Invitation for Making a Magical Christmas: Open & Go Experience You can also find the Open & Go Invitation Here Watch Workshop on Youtube *Please note that some of the links included in this article are Amazon affiliate links. CONNECT with US Join the Private Facebook Group Connect and follow along with Janae's Journey on Instagram @janae.daniels Learn more about School to Homeschool

#211: Wie du Entscheidungen vor Unsicherheit triffst | U-Boot Projekte

Prozessfokus - Der Podcast für ambitionierte Ingenieure

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2024 13:52

In 4 Tagen ist es so weit. Dienstag (22. Oktober) veröffentlichen wir das Buch für ambitionierte Ingenieure, an dem ich 2 Jahre gearbeitet habe. Doch fast wäre es nicht dazu gekommen ... Show Notes: >> IntraMBA | Mentoring für Ingenieure: ⁠⁠⁠⁠intra.mba⁠⁠⁠⁠ >> Mentornotes Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mentorwerk.de/mentornotes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ >> Tim Schmaddebeck auf LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hier klicken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ >> Buchempfehlungen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mentorwerk.de/buecher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stichworte zur Folge: Entscheidungen treffen, Unsicherheit überwinden, U-Boot Projekte, Buch schreiben, Test-Projekt starten, Working Dad, Entscheidungen unter Druck, Unsicherheit meistern, Risiko minimieren, Bauchgefühl, mutige Entscheidungen, Fokus behalten, Prototyping, kleine Schritte, agile Methoden, Entscheidungsfindung, Dilemma lösen, Zielorientierung, Kreativität fördern, Zeitmanagement, Projektplanung, Erfolg durch Testen, Start before you're ready, Buchveröffentlichung, persönlicher Wachstum, Hamburg, Ratgeber für Ingenieure, Buchprojekt starten, Next Level Leadership, Unternehmer-Mindset

246. Turning parenthood into a career asset for working moms and dads with The Fifth Trimester's Lauren Smith Brody

Securely Attached

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2024 50:46

Join me for an inspiring conversation with Lauren Smith Brody, author and founder of The Fifth Trimester, as we explore the realities and challenges of being a working parent. In this episode we discuss: - The one thing that Lauren has observed to most galvanize people to stand up for their needs and their family's needs in the workplace. - Dr. Sarah shares the oh-so-relatable working-mom struggle that led her to be 8 months pregnant, crying alone in a coffee shop. - How to step back and identify if the “rules” aren't working for you and how you can start to feel more empowered to break them (even when it's hard!) - A simple strategy for making it easier for your work to say yes to your requests (Hint: The first step is understanding why it's an economically good decision for your boss to make the accommodations you're requesting.) - What a small business owner can do to support working parents when they don't necessarily have the financial resources to do all the big-ticket items they wish they could. - How employers can help their teams “resentment-proof” their career and their lives with solutions for the future. Tune in for a conversation packed with insights on how to empower working moms and transform workplace culture! LEARN MORE ABOUT LAUREN SMITH BRODY: https://www.thefifthtrimester.com/ READ LAUREN'S BOOK:

Intentional Parenting: Jason Frishman on Equitable Fatherhood and Family Values

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2024 31:31

Exploring Values-Driven Fatherhood In a recent episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast we sat down with Dr. Jason Frishman of JourneyMen to delve into vital conversations surrounding fatherhood, societal equity, and the evolving role of dads in modern families. From building equitable homes to redefining traditional masculinity, this episode offered profound insights and practical advice for every father aiming to be more present and effective in their children's lives. Below, we unpack the most compelling segments from their conversation. The Roots of Social Justice in Family Life Dr. Jason Frishman shared how his upbringing, influenced by deeply rooted values of equality and social justice, shaped his perspectives on parenting. The lessons he learned from his grandparents and parents about fairness and understanding have become the foundation of how he raises his own children. Jason emphasized that fostering an equitable home environment isn't only a moral obligation; it's essential for nurturing well-rounded, empathetic individuals. Concerns Over Societal Pressures One of Jason's primary concerns lies in the societal pressures that could impact his children's values and character as they grow. He pointed out that while more men are spending time at home, the growth in fatherhood roles hasn't kept pace with these changes. This lag can lead to challenges as men navigate roles they may not be fully prepared for, often under the weight of traditional societal expectations. Transitioning from Children to Fathers: A Professional and Personal Journey Jason's professional journey has taken him from working with children to specializing in counseling men and fathers. This shift was driven by his passion for creating positive societal change and challenging the traditional narratives of masculinity. He introduced the concept of "foundational adventures," a counternarrative designed to redefine what it means to be a man and a father in today's world. Embracing New Masculinity Narratives Journeymen, the organization Jason is involved with, seeks to redefine masculinity and fatherhood. By promoting more inclusive partnerships at home, Journeymen encourages fathers to be active, engaged, and supportive partners, paving the way for healthier family dynamics. Jason's personal realization of embedded patriarchal thoughts highlighted the need for continuous growth and change, both individually and collectively. Values Work as a Beacon for Personal Growth A crucial part of Jason's message is the role of values in guiding personal growth. He stressed that challenges and conflicts shouldn't be seen as roadblocks but as opportunities for learning and development. For fathers seeking to make meaningful changes, Jason advises starting with a clear vision of what they want their household and relationships to look like, then identifying and overcoming the barriers that stand in their way. The Universal Chaos of Parenting Dr. Christopher Lewis underscored that parenting is a shared experience, often chaotic and busy but profoundly rewarding. Likening it to managing a boat full of "tiny screaming passengers," Dr. Lewis emphasized the importance of being actively involved in all aspects of children's lives—from spending quality time, imparting lessons, and preparing meals, to celebrating special moments. This hands-on approach is essential for building strong father-daughter relationships. A Call to Action for Fathers Both Dr. Lewis and Dr. Jason Frishman called on fathers to be intentional and present in their children's lives. Jason suggested that being a better father and partner involves becoming a stronger, more grounded individual. Overcoming obstacles requires a clear understanding of one's values and the dedication to addressing what hinders their achievement. Intentional Parenting: Building Connections and Having Fun Jason also highlighted the significance of intentionality in parenting. This involves using language consciously, allowing children to have a voice in their upbringing, and ensuring that parenting decisions align with core values. Moreover, he stressed the importance of having fun and enjoying time with family, as these moments create lasting bonds and cherished memories. The Fatherhood Five: Embracing Connections and Small Gestures In the 'Fatherhood Five' segment, Jason shared his personal reflections on fatherhood, describing it as fundamentally about connections. He prides himself on the close relationship his sons share and hopes they would describe him as silly, optimistic, and caring. Jason finds inspiration from his sons, wife, parents, and a close group of male friends, and he holds steadfast to the advice of consistently showing love through small, intentional actions. Dr. Dr. Jason Frishman's insights on the Dads with Daughters podcast offer a compelling vision for modern fatherhood—one rooted in equity, intentionality, and joy. By embracing these principles, fathers can create nurturing environments that foster positive growth and deep connections with their children. To engage more with Jason's work or to access resources on effective fatherhood, visit the Journeymen website or reach out via the contact details provided in the podcast episode. Dr. Jason Frishman was a part of Sarah Maconachie's book of stories about fathers called Working Dads and Balancing Acts. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Love being able to be on this journey with you, knowing that you know that I've got 2 daughters. I know that you have daughters. And it is a great opportunity for us to walk on this path together because the journey that I am on is not going to be the same journey that you're on, but we have similarities. There are things that we go through that are similar, and we can learn and grow from each other, and we can learn and grow from other fathers that are doing fatherhood in a little bit different way. We can push ourselves to be able to get out of our comfort zone. We can push ourselves to do something different, to be that engaged father, that more present father that we want to be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:10]: And that's why the show exists. The show exists so that every week, you have an opportunity to take what you're learning and put it into action, to be able to hear from others that have gone before you that are doing fatherhood in a little bit different way, that have different resources that are available to you and can help you in that journey that you're on. So thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being back every week. And I love being able to bring you different guests that are going to be able to help you in different ways. And this week, we got another great guest with us. Doctor. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:42]: Jason Frischman is with us today. And Doctor. Frischman is a father of 2 sons, but he also works with men that are struggling to balance work and family and that are working to become more confident, connected, and fully alive. And we're gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about the journey that he's been on as a father, and I'm really looking forward to talking to him today. Jason, thanks so much for being here today. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:02:06]: Excellent. Thank you so much. I'm really glad and looking forward to our conversation. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:10]: Well, I'm excited to have you here today as well. And first and foremost, I wanna turn the clock back. I know you've got some teenagers in the house right now, and I would love to turn the clock back. I said I did say you had sons. So I wanna go back to that first moment that you found out that you were gonna be a father to a son. What was going through your head? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:02:29]: It's a powerful and important question. We didn't find out that the baby was gonna be a son until he was born. And actually his birth story was a really hard one. And so because of everything that was going on, we were planning a home birth and it was all picture perfect and beautiful until it wasn't. And then we wound up in the emergency room at the hospital. And frankly, when I found out he was a boy, that I was having a son, it was the least of my concerns. And we were just so very happy that he was healthy, that my wife was healthy. He fortunately didn't need to spend time in the NICU. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:03:03]: And so the first and foremost was we have a healthy baby. And the next piece was once it hit that we you know, I had a son. And at that time in my life, working as a psychologist, I worked even then primarily with males, male identifying clients. And so I think when Micah was born, I think I was nonplussed in terms of gender, but I also was like, well, I'm kind of an expert in that, so maybe it'll be easier. Flash forward, it it hasn't been, but that's besides the plight. But the other piece is and this happened more when we had our second son because I think we knew we were only gonna have 2, but having 2 sons, we knew that we have a big responsibility in terms of raising good boys. That is something that I've spent my entire career helping others to do, and it sort of became our turn. And so I think both my wife and I have felt like we were meant to raise good men, and that's why we have 2 sons. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:03:57]: But we also feel in our risk this responsibility that boys and young men in this culture, they have a lot of work to do. And so we our values and who we are as both humans and parents and friends and etcetera, we wanted our children to be raised a little bit differently. Part of your introduction about, like, parents who do it a little differently. That was a big part of the intention that we have in every developmental stage of our kids' lives. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:23]: So talk to me about parenting a little differently. How do you define that, and what have you tried to do in your sons' lives to parent differently and to allow for them that that difference to be in their life in that regard? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:04:36]: Well, I think the first piece, which sounds very simple and yet has always been very challenging and something that we stay aware of is a lot of what we do, we want to be intentional. Intentionality and transparency are 2 of our common values as parents. And so I'll give a good example. Both my wife and I are trained as narrative therapists. And so in the narrative therapy world, language is very important. We believe that language and stories help derive and and drive reality. Right? And so the language that we use, even when our kids were pre verbal, was very intentional. So for example, at the time, when my first born son was was was born, we made the decision that I would continue working and seeing clients and my wife would stay home. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:05:19]: Now, on the one hand, that is a very typical traditional gender split, but because we are intentional about it, it changed the way we had to talk about what that was like. And so a great example is even when my son was preverbal as an infant, we never used the language of papa's going to work, and we corrected others when they said that. Right? Papa's going to the office. Right? Because saying that I'm going to work, what does that say about my wife who's staying home? Right? And so we were very intentional about the fact that, you know, she was doing more, you know, work if not, you know, as much if not more work than I am. And so we never wanted that language to to build a, a sort of a schema for for our kids where father goes to work, mama stays home. Right? And so intentionality around the language we use, intentionality around, the the products, the the things that we do with our kids, that was always very important. Another another good example is that, you know, I'm big at both of us are big in the food world. I I've been a cook and a chef and I've taught I've used it. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:06:36]: We've had small businesses with food and, you know, food values are very important to us. And so my wife who has been a a vegetarian since 14, she said, most vegetarians choose to be vegetarian. We're raised as omnivores or carnivores, and we choose to be vegetarian. We chose to raise our kids as vegetarian. And when they showed that they sort of understood the values and the ideas and the morals that we were sharing, then they could make their own choice. And right now, both of my kids have chosen to eat meat. My wife actually has started eating meat, and yet we're very intentional. Like at this point, we only eat meat if we know the farmer. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:07:16]: And in Vermont, we can do that. But most of the time when we go out, we said tell we we're vegetarian because we can't do it otherwise. So these are sort of mundane but important examples. But in terms of parenting differently, we're very intentional, transparent. We're aware of our language and the language we use, especially around gender with our kids. And then the other part is we're very, like I said, transparent. So my kids have always had a voice. Not that, you know, we're the adults and we're in charge, but my kids have always had a voice in in kind of what we do, how we do it. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:07:53]: They are able and and comfortable to give me feedback. I ask for it as the parent, as the father. And so sometimes I don't always like that, but it but but I but I always welcome the fact that they can tell me or share with me what I'm doing, how that makes them feel, and what it makes them think about. And it gives them a voice and agency and empowers them to grow into themselves in the boundaries that we as the parents have set. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:22]: So talk to me about that intention. And not every father, not every man has gotten to that point where they are doing the same thing or that they are trying or working to build a equitable home in regards to what is happening inside their own home. And we definitely don't see the equity being rewarded from a societal end. So personally, and it may go back to how you were raised, what made you personally decide as a man, as a father, as a husband, that that was important to you and that you wanted to instill that in your own children, and you wanted to break the the societal cycle, let's say, that is out there? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:09:10]: Wow. That one question we could spend, you know, a lot of time on, but two things. You hit the nail on the head in terms of it does start with my own upbringing and childhood. I would start even with my mother's parents, who've sadly recently both passed away. They were partners in the truest sense of the word. Even as a child, I remember that. The 2 of them sat down and did the taxes together. My grandmother, in a time when that didn't really happen, she was as aware of the money and the investments and that, you know, she was as aware of that, if not more than my grandfather. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:09:43]: And they were real partners. There's a great story is my grandfather drove me to college when I graduated high school. My parents were working. And I recently asked, I said, was grandma there? Did she go too? And my mom was like, of course, they did everything together. They were real partners. So that was the model I got from my grandparents. My parents, very, very similar. At one point, my mom went back to grad school and said, if y'all wanna eat, you better learn how to cook. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:10:07]: And my father learned how to cook. And so I always witnessed this sort of working towards equality and working towards an awareness of how we are at home and how the society at large is, and just the strength and courage it takes to do things differently. So that has always been a part of the way I look at the world. And then of course, you know, I I grew up trained as a psychologist. I try I got my master's and my doctorate and was always leaning. I used to joke that as a psychologist, I'm sort of a social worker in psychologist clothing. I have always been someone who looks towards social justice and equality and has been impacted by the inequality and the the sort of oppression and challenges that are led. And then, because of my working with boys and men for so many years, I'm a white man in this culture. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:10:56]: And having the background that I have, that has all become very prominent. And really, I find it to be one of the most vital issues in our culture today is the level that patriarchy has damaged both men, boys, and subsequently, every you know, families. And so it has become a real passion of mine to work for equality and just intentionality in the way that we use language and and work with gender. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:23]: So as you think about raising your sons, and as you talked about, you're raising your sons in a different way and challenging them and pushing them and encouraging them in different ways in the way that they are being raised. As you look at your biggest fear in raising them today? When I was young, my mom do you remember the 2? Fear in raising them today? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:11:44]: When I was young, my mom do you remember the TV show Family Ties? Yep. So when I was young and I was a very liberal, even more so than my parents, progressive kind of thinker, all these things, my mom used to tease me that I was gonna get an Alex P. Keaton furissa. And that's not my worry. I don't think that's gonna happen. But I do worry that the strength and presence of my kids is going to be battered at from a larger society. I mean, we have purposefully, like, you know, my kids have been in a bubble. Like we encourage childhood in a very solid way. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:12:18]: And we live in a rural town in a small state that is very white. And, you know, we've done our best to expose them to the world, and we talk politics. You know, we share things with them. But I guess my my my, one of my big fears or worries is that when they go out into the world, will they have enough of a solid foundation to stand on when they're hit with much of the mainstream ethos and pathos, you know, frankly. How will they hold up? Now, if the way they say it up to me is any indication, I think we'll be fine. But I do worry sometimes that the the sort of mainstream masculine way of being expectations and roles will beat them down a little bit. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:58]: I appreciate you sharing that. Now I mentioned at the beginning that you work with men and that you are working with them, with individuals that are struggling to balance work and family and be connected and confident and helping them to, as I said, fully alive. Talk to me about how you got into this work and why you decided that working with men and creating journeymen was something that was a passion area and was something that you really wanted to focus on? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:13:31]: So I've been a therapist. I've been as a psychologist, I've been working for about 25 years, and almost exclusively with boys, men, and families. And when I started my career, I'm naively embarrassed to share that I started my career and said I'm always gonna work with kids because if you're an adult and you're a jerk, it's too late for you. Now that is really naive to say, you know, 25 years later, I'm embarrassed that that was my way of thinking. I was saying that to justify that I love working with kids, but I had my own kids and I really wanted to save my sort of child energy for my kids and the community that we have. So I started working with older men and eventually sort of landed on men and fathers as a way of working. And as that was developing, as I was then specializing in learning and doing a lot of research on masculine psychology and sociology, you know, all of these things. I also simultaneously was going through a change in the narratives that I work with, that I love. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:14:26]: So you may have heard of the hero's journey. It is a narrative that is sort of ubiquitous in our culture. It's all the the Pixar movies, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, all of these things. I love that narrative. I wrote my dissertation from the metaphor of that narrative, and it probably was 85 to 95% of all of the interventions, questions, and and work that I did was based around a really in-depth learning of the hero's journey. That said, about 15 years ago, something hit me. Part of narrative therapy is this idea of questioning taken for granted stories. So in professional honesty, I had to question my own favorite narrative, the hero's journey. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:15:04]: Long story short, I actually now feel that although I still love The Hero's Journey, it's actually not complete. And the fact that it is so omnipresent is actually quite damaging to boys and men. And the fact that our primary narrative models tell us that we either have to be epic or legendary in order to be worthy is really troubling and damaging to men who, most men who are going to work and coming home and you know, doing the dishes and things like that. And so the challenge or the the passion part of developing journeyman came from working more and more with men and fathers and finding how powerful that work was. It came from developing a counternarrative to the hero's journey, which I now call foundational adventures. And it came to this idea of like listening to men who, you know, may be super successful at work, but then they come home and they're lost. They come home and they're stuck. They come home and where's my place? There's a fact, a detail that I remember reading somewhere. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:16:01]: I won't use the exact numbers because I'll get it wrong, but there is a large amount of men who are largely spending more time at home than ever before, which we might think, hey. That's wonderful. And it is. But there's also hasn't been the equal amount of growth and development for father about what to do when they're at home. So that they're staying more at home. Some guys are getting it lucky and doing well and and being real present to their kids. But many men are staying at or or at home more with their kids, but coming at it with the same mindset mentality and social training that we've had for the last 100 years, which means that they're at home more and there's more opportunities to make trouble or mistakes or propagate this sort of mindset. And so the idea for me is that Journeymen was, how do we write new narratives for masculinity and fatherhood that involve and include a partnership at home and honor going and battling dragons or being off at work doing things and really developing deeper, more meaningful stories for men who just like everyone else on the planet, need emotional connections, strong deep depth of relationships, and love, frankly. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:11]: And talk to me about over the years, you've been doing this journeyman work since 2019 when you started things. And I'm sure over the time and over working with men in this work that you learned a lot more about men, but also more about yourself. And talk to me about that. And what have been some of the biggest takeaways for yourself as a father, a husband, a man that you're putting now into place in your own life and some of the things that you're learning about the work that you're doing and some of the biggest struggles that men are struggling with? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:17:46]: The front of mind answer around learnings for me personally that I'm learning from the work and then bringing it home and then bring it back to the work deep in it is none of us are done. I think I'm pretty conscientious. I'm pretty aware. You know, all of these things, and I am. And yet recently, my wife and I had a huge argument about something that was very based in sort of sexism, very based in my unwillingness to be open to a partnership, ideal. And frankly, initially, when she said it that way, I was offended. Like, I wasn't open. I do this work every day. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:18:21]: And, you know, all of a sudden, I'm getting called out for something. And once I breathed, once I, like, let it sort of settle a little bit, it was really powerful for me to say, okay, you're right. Some of this patriarchal thought or dominance based culture, however we wanna talk about it, is so deeply embedded in all of us. And so for me, it's that there's always growth, potential, and possibility. And I've been using this statement a lot both at work and at home, but the magic and the treasure is in the muck. There's this narrative. There's this story in our culture that it'll be good when. As long as I get to blank or once I turn blank, you know, like, once I get to the end, it'll be better. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:19:00]: And I think there's such a problematic ideology there. And so a lot of it is in the muck, in the marshes, in the trouble. That's where the magic is. That's where the treasure is. And so one of the best learnings that came from that that I bring back to the work at Journeyman is we do a lot of values work. You know, let's learn what's important to us. And I do something called the values compass. It's an exercise where we pick 4 values that are can be visibly expressed, that I can see, right? Not this big ethereal, vague value, but something that is real can be specific. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:19:36]: And I have the guys pick 4 values that are inherently connected to the goal, the treasure that they're working on. And we put them in a compass. Well, what we've started to talk about in addition to the magic is in the muck is that our values are both the directional points and the steps on your path on your journey and the treasure. So if I'm following my values, number 1, I know the right direction and choices to make. But number 2, if I'm following my values, I'm feeling better. I'm doing better. I'm acting better. So I've actually achieved my goal on the way towards achieving my goal. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:20:14]: And so that you're always going up and down with that. It's a challenge and it's it's terribly difficult to live your values in the everyday. And so when we're doing it, let's recognize it and say, oh, I found a treasure. I've hit a goal. Now it's time to get back to it because I gotta keep walking. I'm in the muck. Right? And so it's nothing new. It's nothing some it's not an insight that I think I've developed. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:20:34]: I mean, Buddhists have lots of people have used it forever. I think there's a saying, no mud, no lotus. That's in a saying. Same kind of thing is that our challenges, our arguments, our conflicts are is always an opportunity for growth, and that's where the treasure is. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:47]: I love that. And I love that statement because I think you're completely right. I mean, there is a lot of muck that we go through in being fathers and being men. I guess one of the questions that I would have for you in the work that you're doing is there are going to be fathers that have not worked with you, but are thinking to themselves, you know what? There's some things that we that I could maybe be doing here based on what Jason's saying. What are some initial steps, some things that they could do right now today that could get them moving in at least the right direction? It may still mean that they wanna work with you down the road, but at least to have either an internal dialogue or have something that will allow for them to push themselves in the right direction in this regard. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:21:30]: I think the first step and and I have guys do this early on in the work anyway, and I I it's I think it's really important. There's there's 2 different things to become aware of. The first is what do we want? And I can blow that out. What kind of father do I wanna be? What kind of sons or daughters do I wanna raise? Not that I have much control over that, but in an ideal sense, what would I like to give to my kids? What kind of legacy do I wanna to share with them? What kind of values do I want to do I want to exist in my household? And really taking a look at what I would like that to be. How I would like do I want a household where after dinner, everybody's sitting on the same couch looking at their phones? Do I wanna have a household where everybody goes back to their rooms and does whatever, but we're not connected? Do I wanna have some mixture of that, but also, like, I don't know, we're playing board games at night or whatever, but, like, real specific, what do I want my household, my home to look like? And how do I want the relationships of the people who I purport to love the most? How do I want them to be? So I want first to ask men, how do you get clear on that? Do you want to spend your time tinkering in the garage or do you wanna be with the kids? Do you want what do you want? Do you want more intimacy with your wife? I had one guy who joined Journeyman said, I want my kids to be as comfortable holding my hand at 22 as they are at 12 and that they were at 2 and he said doesn't have to be literally holding my hands, but metaphorically, I want them to have that same level of comfort throughout their life. And that was his goal. That was his treasure. So I wanna encourage fathers to think about what are the ongoing relational goals that they have in their home, with their partner, with their kids, with themselves. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:23:15]: So that would be step 1. And step 2 would be, what's getting in the way? And it's time to be radically honest with yourselves, guys. Right? What is getting in the way? Let's just use the example of not wanting everyone to be on their own phones and to be dialoguing or spending time together or doing something. What's really getting in the way? Starting with you and the other adults in the house. If you look at yourself, a lot of journeymen, a lot of the work there, I always am very explicit. It's not a parenting group. We talk about parenting. We talk about that. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:23:43]: It's not about getting your kids to eat vegetables or go to bed on time, or learn to drive the car responsibly. It's men's work. It's about you being a stronger, more present, grounded man who can be in relationship, who can be in partnership. And so with that, you're gonna be a better father. You're gonna be a better partner. You're gonna be a better, more present to everything that's going on. So to answer your question more succinctly is get it clear with what you want at home and get clear about what you really give a shit about and what's getting in the way. What's getting in the way? What are the obstacles? Right? Are you too tired? Are you too stressed? Are you is your own pattern to isolate when things happen? Is your own pattern to get reactive? What is the thing that keeps you from those goals that you're looking for and name it. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:24:26]: Can't tell you how important that is. Once you name the obstacle, you have some control over it. And I've had clients who, once they identify it, really understand it and give it a name, I've had clients tell me like, oh my god, things are so much better. Just because they start to notice and they start to give something a name, you have some power. So those would be the 2 steps that I would suggest anyone can start to get a handle on before even getting into this work more deeply. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:48]: Well, I appreciate you sharing that because I think it is a journey and definitely something that will take time and effort, and you may have to get out of some bad practices or bad ruts that your family might have gotten into, especially over COVID or other aspects that change things. You know, you may have to make some adjustments within your home and really think deeply about where you want to be, where you are right now, as Jason already said. Now, Jason, we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:25:22]: Before you start, can I add one thing? It'll be very quick. I am realizing I'm reflecting even on what I said, and it all sounds very heady and up here. More importantly or most importantly is, like, having some fun. I think so much of what men do is we go to work, we come home, we discipline, we but have fun with your family. Like, you love them. Have fun with them. And I just think that so much of the work, while it has this real heady, deep depth underground, a lot of the work, especially at Journeyman, is around fun. It's around metaphor. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:25:53]: It's around being silly. It's around all those things. And so I can't emphasize that enough is that men need to be having more fun. So anyway, the fatherhood 5 we can get into, but I didn't wanna not say that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:03]: In one word, what is fatherhood? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:26:05]: Connections. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:06]: When was the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:26:10]: I watch my 2 sons being friends. They're 3 and a half years apart and they're buddies. They really are. And they admit it. They like to admit it. They'll argue like other brothers, but they are close. And I watch them. My parents did the same thing, but I, my wife and I always said, we would love for our boys to be aligned together even more than they're aligned with us, and truly they are. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:26:31]: And so that that's a success. That's a big win for me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:34]: If I were to talk to your sons, how would they describe you as a dad? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:26:38]: It depends on the day. I think they would say that I'm silly. I am annoyingly optimistic and positive. I love to cook and I love to take care of them. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:49]: Who inspires you to be a better dad? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:26:51]: Well, they do for 1, for sure. My wife does. My own parents do. And I'm really fortunate, actually. I have a close group of male friends. And the depth of friendship that I with them is unusual. And I don't take it for granted, but all of them are either fathers or uncles and are good men. And so there's a mutual, like, love, respect, and inspiration in terms of doing better. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:13]: You've given a lot of pieces of advice today, things for people to think about and to delve a little bit deeper into their own psyche and themselves to figure out kind of where they're at and where they wanna be. But as we finish up today, what's one piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:27:28]: Hug and kiss your kids and say the words I love you. I mean it, of course, but I think the small actions count. I think the piece of advice is really hug, kiss, and saying I love you can be lots of things, but the small intentional and consistent actions are more important than any grandiose gesture that you can do. We're working at a long term deep foundation. And so if you want your kids to be the kind of humans that you're hoping for and to have a relationship for life, then play the lifelong game. And so small, consistent, intentional actions are really the way to go. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:06]: Now we talked about Journeyman. We talked about the work that you're doing. If people wanna find out more about you, about Journeymen, where's the best place for them to go? Dr. Jason Frishman [00:28:13]: The 2 places. First is I live on the website, so journeymenfoundation dotcom. The other piece is right now, I say sometimes we, but it's really me. So if you email jason@nourished connections.com, you'll get me directly. And I I really enjoy connecting with people who are either fathers or who love fathers and wanna be supportive. And so those are the 2 most direct ways, but I'm also on social media. I'm on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn. And one thing that I would offer is, and I can send you a link afterwards, is I did put together this sort of it's the 10 fastest, most effective ways that fathers can connect with their kids. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:28:49]: And it's all about the small, consistent actions. I do every single one of them. So this isn't just something I write about. I'm also the president. And so I can send the link to that and people are more than welcome to as soon as you when you go to that link, you can download that copy. Every single one on there, I think I timed it once. If you did all 10, I think there's a bonus 11. But if you did all 10, it's less than 12 minutes every day. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:11]: I love it, and we'll definitely add it to the notes today and add it in so everyone can take 10 minutes to reconnect and to better connect with your kids. Jason, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for being here today, for sharing your journey, and I wish you all the best. Dr. Jason Frishman [00:29:27]: Oh, thank you so much. This has been great. I really appreciate it. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:29]: If you've enjoyed today's episode of the dads with daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the fatherhood insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together.org. If you are father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week, all geared to helping you raise strong and powered daughters and be the best dad that you can be. We're all in the same boat, and it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and musclemen. Get out and be the world to them. Them. Be the best dad you can be.

From Event Manager to Stay-At-Home Dad: Gerard Gousman's Parenting Journey

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Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2024 35:50

A Heartfelt Conversation In the latest episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we welcome Gerard Gousman to explore the unique experiences and challenges he faces as a father of four sons. Gerard shares his heartfelt insights and practical advice, making this episode a must-listen for every dad striving to be the best parent they can be. Let's dive into the critical themes and topics discussed during their engaging conversation. Reflecting on the Initial Stages of Fatherhood Gerard Gousman opens up about his initial reactions to becoming a father. The mix of excitement, fear, and overwhelming responsibility is something many new dads can resonate with. "It's like stepping into a world where you have no previous experience," says Gerard, reflecting on the early days of fatherhood. As he navigated through sleepless nights and constant second-guessing, Gerard began to understand the profound and rewarding nature of being a dad. The Dynamics of Parenting at Different Stages Parenting isn't a 'one size fits all' journey, and Gerard underscores this by discussing the differences in parenting toddlers, preteens, and teenagers. He highlights the importance of flexibility and adaptation, learning to adjust his parenting style to each child's unique needs and communication preferences. By doing so, Gerard has been able to maintain close relationships with his kids, fostering an environment where they feel safe and understood. Embracing Technology and Remote Living With the shift to remote work and education, Gerard speaks on the challenges and opportunities this new dynamic brings. Living in a more remote setting has highlighted the importance of balancing screen time with physical activity and real-world interactions. Gerard emphasizes finding creative solutions to keep his children engaged and active, such as outdoor adventures and tech-free family time. The Pressures and Expectations of Fatherhood One of the most relatable aspects of Gerard's story is his fear of not meeting the high standards and expectations of modern fatherhood. "There's always this lingering worry—am I doing enough?" Gerard admits candidly. Over time, he learned that striving for perfection isn't sustainable. Instead, he focuses on being present and consistent, realizing that it's the simple, everyday moments that matter most. Creating Wins and Building a Cool Dad Reputation A shining light in Gerard's journey is his 'cool dad' win at the trampoline park. Taking his 7-year-old and a friend out for some jumping fun led to high praise from the friend, labeling Gerard as the "coolest dad at school." This moment encapsulates the joy of being an involved parent and solidifies Gerard's belief in the importance of participating in his children's interests. Finding Inspiration and Support Gerard draws inspiration from his children's growth and positivity and from other supportive dads who share their journeys. He emphasizes the importance of finding a community, whether through local groups or online platforms. These connections offer a sense of belonging and a wealth of shared knowledge, making the challenges of fatherhood feel less isolating. Advice for New Dads: Stay Happy and True to Yourself To new fathers, Gerard offers sage advice: "Don't lose yourself after becoming a father. Your happiness is crucial for your family's well-being." He encourages dads to pursue their interests and maintain their personal happiness, which in turn creates a more joyful and balanced family environment. Transitioning Careers for Family Gerard's decision to transition from a high-pressure career in the event management and music industry to being a stay-at-home dad speaks volumes about his commitment to his family. He discusses the fear of missing out (FOMO) and the challenges of shifting focus from an active social lifestyle to home life. Parenthood required him to reevaluate his priorities and embrace a new, fulfilling role. Navigating Family Dynamics and Individual Needs Understanding that each child is unique, Gerard keeps notes on his children's favorite things to use as points of connection when other communication methods fail. This personalized approach has helped him navigate tough conversations and strengthen his bond with each child. Advocating for At-Home Dads Gerard has become a vocal advocate for at-home dads, participating in a New York Times article to challenge stereotypes. His efforts have been met with positive responses from friends and other fathers, underscoring the value of representation and community. The Role of Community in Fatherhood Finding a supportive Fatherhood community, like the National At Home Dad Network and local dad groups, has been instrumental in Gerard's journey. He emphasizes the importance of reaching out and connecting with others who understand and appreciate the unique challenges and rewards of fatherhood. The Simple Joys of Fatherhood For Gerard, fatherhood in one word is "amazing." It's the little victories, the shared laughs, and the opportunity to watch his children grow that make the journey so rewarding. As he continues to adapt and learn, Gerard remains a beacon of positivity and strength for his family. In summary, Gerard Gousman's journey is a powerful reminder that fatherhood, with all its ups and downs, is an ever-evolving adventure. His insights and experiences provide invaluable lessons for dads at any stage, encouraging them to embrace the journey with an open heart and a flexible mindset. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the dance with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. You know, every week, I love being able to sit down and talk with you, to work with you, to help you on this journey that you're on. Each one of us is on a unique journey. And you have daughters, I have daughters, but we learn from each other. We learn from others. And the more that we're willing to step out and hear what others have to say, step out and take in that learning, take in what others have to say, the more that you're going to be able to be that engaged dad, and that father that you want to be to your children. And that's why every week I bring you different guests, different people with different perspectives and, and different from different walks of life that have gone through either fatherhood in a different way have different resources that they can share. And I love being able to do that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:10]: Because, as I said, each one of us is on a unique journey, but we can learn from each other and we can help each other along the way. This week, we got another great guest with us. Gerard Guzman is with us today. Gerard is a father of 4 sons. And you might be saying, well, this is the dads with daughters podcast. Why are we having a father of sons here? Well, there's a reason and we're gonna be talking about that. Gerard went through his own journey as a working dad that made some choices, made some choices to be that active, engaged dad that he wanted to be and may have made some choices that you might have made or might not have made. We're gonna talk about that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:47]: And I'm really excited to have him here, be able to share his story, learn a little bit more about him. Gerard, thanks so much for being here today. Gerard Gousman [00:01:53]: Thanks for having me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:54]: It is my pleasure having you here today. Love being able to have you on and being able to learn more about you. 1st and foremost, I love being able to start the podcast with the opportunity to go back in time, get in the in that proverbial time machine. I want to go all the way back. I know you've got kids that range from 22 months all the way to 22 years. So I want to go back maybe 23 years, I want to go back to that first moment that you you found out that you were going to be a father. What was going through your head? Gerard Gousman [00:02:19]: For the first time, I was young. I was in college scared, excited, hopeful. It was there from was the experience of not knowing what was ahead of me, but, like, alright. Trying to figure out, alright. How can how do I do this? How do I be a dad? And I look at the examples of examples around me and okay. To figure out how long if I take a little piece of pieces of this from the different dads I know and trying to grab what I thought was right. And, of course, none of us do it right. It's from the start. So got that knocked myself off, knocked my dust myself off, and got back up and keep trying it again and again until some point in the next couple weeks. I think I may get it right. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:55]: I'll have to check back with you in that few weeks and see if you actually hit that point because I don't know if any of us do it right all the time. And we definitely stumble, fall, pick ourselves back up, as you said. And our kids are gonna be the first ones to point out when we make mistakes. So that's definitely the case. Now, as I said, you've got kids that range from 22 years to 22 months. And with each and every child, you have to parent in a little bit different way. And you've learned things along the way, but you've got a very young child and a child that's potentially out of the nest in regards to grown, flown, starting his adult life now. So talk to me about what you've learned along the way and how you're parenting your 22 month old now differently than you may have parented your 22 year old. Gerard Gousman [00:03:44]: Yeah. It's definitely a much different world now, physical world and just my immediate world where I'm coming from then being young and my experience, all things that come with being a young adult in a big city and trying to do that. And it was also at the time of really starting. I was in music and college and working in marketing. Just Just starting out working in marketing in events and just trying to navigate and figure out what I was gonna be and what I was gonna do. And some of the experiences I have always been of the mind is bring trying to do as much as you can to marry marry my worlds together. I was trying to bring the kids out into the events and never use that having kids excuse to not be able to do something that you probably could do with them. That's something I've always tried to maintain with of showing my kids as much of the world and as many different experiences as I can. Gerard Gousman [00:04:39]: And still to this day doing that, but a bit differently, plus the mix of technology, and we're a little more remote than we were then. And starting out, I was with in Chicago, it's so close to a lot of family. But now remote here in the on the West Coast, and most of my family is still Midwest and back east. So it's completely different raising the family, raising kids away from the family, and not having a strong of a communal family support. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:06]: Now you mentioned at the beginning when you first had your first child, you were definitely a little bit scared. And I think there's some fear that goes along with every father, Whether you have daughters, whether you have sons, in some aspect, when you bring a new child into the world, there's always some fear. What was your biggest fear in being a father? Gerard Gousman [00:05:22]: A lot. I think of not being able to hold up to the standards that I had, I guess, as a kid, like, what the ideal dad was. Like, when I grow up, when I have kids, I'm never gonna yell, and I'm gonna always be there, and I'm always gonna be smart, and I'm gonna trust my kids and know all the things that you wanted as a child from your parents. I'm like, I'm gonna be that parent. Like, how do I hold up to be that parent that I wanted as a kid? And then I realized, like, that's not realistic. You you quickly learn, like, oh, that's why they were always tired. That's why they were always yelling. Like, in retrospect, that was very dangerous. It's finding that out that I could try to bring in those parts of me that I wanted to mold and have my parenting style being able to live up to that standard. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:13]: Now with the fact that your children are at different points, different ages, different experience levels, and you look at that fear now in regard to what you've gone through. Is the fear that you have as a father different for your 22 month old in the life that he will have versus the fear that you have now for your adult son? Gerard Gousman [00:06:35]: Think of are you thinking in in time that learn to be a lot more flexible and not take not take the losses as hard. And sometimes, like, I take the stumbles as much. I mean, there's simply times where you do everything you can and things don't work out, but you say, alright. Didn't work out this time. How do I learn from this experience and use it to parent better down the road? So going back to things I thought of with now with my now 7 year old being the 1st grader and thinking back to when my oldest was in that age and trying not to put as much pressure, like, that pressure to be the best student and be the nicest kid and be perfect in public and be respectful. Be always be as respectful as possible and and to try to keep them as polished they could. And now being a point of letting them breathe and kinda learn their own way and instilling those the same principles in them, but not instilling the pressure as much. I wanna know that, yeah, it's okay to take those missteps and but being able to be open and and be able to come back to us as parents and know that we have that support level of support that I don't think I instilled in my kids, in my older kids when they were younger. Gerard Gousman [00:07:52]: It's kinda that these are your benchmarks. You gotta hit them. You gotta hit them. And now it's like, alright. If you don't, that's okay. We can find a way to make up the gap. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:00]: And kinda chuckling to myself because I think as you go through life as a parent, and I I could just imagine your oldest son saying to you, you were so much harder on me and you kept me to a different standard than than you're holding to my younger siblings. And you do. You know, it's not that you're favoring one than another, but you learn. And as you said, you become more laid back, I believe. The more fathers that I talk to, the more kids that they have, I think the more laid back they do become. Gerard Gousman [00:08:28]: Yeah. And then the thing of knowing how like, in the beginning, you don't know what the outcome or outcomes be, but outcomes will be. But as it goes on, you kinda you understand the patterns. You see the algorithm of life. And, like, okay. I know where before I had to make the 6 or 7 steps. I know that 2 or 3 of those steps weren't really important and kinda slowed things up. So now being able to have been able to more fine tune things in real time and just being more aware of those benchmarks that we like I said before about trying to hit those and not it's not always the most important thing. Sometimes the trying is enough. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:03]: Now I know that or you, as you said, you were a employee for many years, you worked out in the world, doing event management, Salt N Pepper, Cat Power. I mean, lots of artists that were out there. You were traveling a lot, and at some point, you made a decision. You made a decision that some changes need to be had, and you needed to be closer to home. You needed to be able to be more a part of the family. Talk to me about that internal conversation you had to have, the conversation you had to have with your wife as well to think about this in a different scenario that made you make some choices that were going to substantially change your life and change your family's life? Gerard Gousman [00:09:50]: Yeah. Well, I think into that point, it was sitting around the birth of my 3rd, and the 2nd one's went through, and it was kinda wandering in between, I guess, seasons. I guess the way the event seasons go, it's kinda like the tail end and starting I don't know. I wanted to be there and support my wife as much as I could that and doing the beginning of the maternity leave and school being able to really be a part of the moments, all of the pre visits and all that stuff and really having the excitement of the pregnancy. That's not that I missed out by. My other 2 was just, like, being out on the road and traveling and not being able to be there for the earliest moments. And once it got to that point of, like, seeing it, I knew I could be there. And one of the things made it a lot easier is is the decision to be able to support my wife in her career. Gerard Gousman [00:10:38]: And she she was on the upper trajectory. And Shrunkar Bennett really got into a point where she was really making strides and wanted to be able to support her in that and give that example for the kids as well. Like, I know I could do this and with cards on the table and look to see what our strengths were. It's like, yeah. I I can do this and give you that so you need to go back and focus on your career and or can I can hold it down here and still be able to do things that I needed to do for myself? And when it I think I've built a strong relationship with my wife, and we are to the point that we are very open communicators in regards to what our immediate needs are. Like, we tend to check-in with each other, and where it may not be something long gone or drawn out, we know when something's not right and, like, always we try to stay on the same page much as possible. And I think that helped make the transition a lot easier, just knowing that I can instill a system, and we have our routines in the house, and it makes us it could be able to flow. And we are able to still have a lot of the things that we loved about life before. Gerard Gousman [00:11:41]: Like, we're avid campers, and we like to travel. And being able to do that stuff with the kids while they're young, I think, has been great for me. Like, definitely a lot of those day to day, like, month to month, the growing things, like, being able to notice little height differences. Like, that arm's longer than it was a few weeks ago. And having full conversations with the baby, and actually, like, because I'm with because I'm with him, I understand what he's saying. And so you're having those things that priceless and suits so valuable, and, like, I know you never get that time. It's really knowing the value of the time. It's been more valuable than however much I would have made out there in the field. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:21]: So talk to me a little bit about that transition, that transition from work at work outside of the house, traveling, working in the industry, working with artists, you know, that high pressure, high paced life to transitioning to home and being that stay at home dad where you're running the household, keeping things running while your wife is working on her career. What was the hardest part for you in making that transition? And what were some of the things that you had to fundamentally change to be able to help you to make that transition? Gerard Gousman [00:12:52]: Honestly, coming from for being, very active and constantly out, going out 3, 4 nights a week even when I'm not wasn't working or I wasn't traveling. Still going home and being active in my local art and music event scene. There's no stand abreast. You gotta keep your faces in a place to be active. You're not around. You're not in. Right? So it's coming from making just that desire and having that FOMO was the big thing of man, I'm missing out on a lot of stuff, all those opportunities. And it's it's like the music festivals and concerts and stuff. Gerard Gousman [00:13:26]: It's that high energy. Always go, never knowing exactly what's gonna be next, which some days, that's what it's like around here. And, see, see, making that transition was not as hard as I thought it would be at first using a lot of the things that I learned on the day to day managing the field, the schedules, and having those routines, dealing with wrangling wild and unruly staff and artists. I'm like, it's pretty much what I'm doing here, keeping everything afloat. It's that mode of getting into not having that FOMO and finding what elements of that former life can I bring in? I guess the biggest thing is just that missing out on the activity of being around the my peers. I think that was the hardest part of the disconnect of the transition of not being having that peer relationship. As much as I could, we could go out and take kids to do stuff, but kinda hard to have that feel. Getting over that and finding supplements and finding community and that were more in tune with that part of my lifestyle. Gerard Gousman [00:14:30]: It has been good and just working with the National At Home Dad Network, and I that was a godsend for me, being able to find find the group. And, like, man, there's a whole community of dads out there. It kinda opened me up to me to see, like, yeah. I'm not as isolated in this as I believe I was in the beginning. That's that made things so much easier, designing was really being able to know that I could go out and find the communities if I look for them. And then once I found a couple of places to be able to places to commiserate or places to share what, for me, it would have been a big win. Like, hey. Today today was a no blowout day. Gerard Gousman [00:15:09]: First no blowout day. That's a big deal. My all working, partying event friends were like, no. That's they don't care about them. Like, so finding people that what are my constituted a big win in my current life, finding a community that understood those moments. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:25]: So talk to me about community because you mentioned that you got connected at the national level with the At Home Dad Network and how we've had some past guests from the At Home Debt Network on the show. Talk to me about finding that community, what you had to do to find that community, not only nationally through the work that you're doing on the board of the At Home Dad Network now, but but even locally of being able to find those peers or those other dads that were going through similar things that you could start to have a new community for yourself. What did you have to do to be able to initially find that community and then build, hone, and grow that community for yourself? Gerard Gousman [00:16:04]: Kinda funny. I use some of the things that I would use initially in, like, having events and finding the different event communities and nightlife sectors. They're just going going through and mining through Facebook and different like Facebook and Tumblr and Reddit and looking for those communities and realizing that there are thriving online communities of engaged, active fathers and really putting myself out there and, like, hey, this is what I'm looking for. This is this is what I'm struggling with. These are the problems I'm having. Anybody ever experienced this? And and then finding there's 100 guys like, yeah. Last week, that was me. Exactly that. Gerard Gousman [00:16:42]: Last week. We do that both finding that online community, but finding that those those guys were here in my state, in in my in town and going in, like, alright. Putting myself out there. Hey, you guys. Let's get together. Let's meet. Let's go out and do some media at the park or the toddler gym or we should get out and have a beer or something. And when I took it on myself to really throw myself into it, like, if I don't put myself out there and find it, it's not going it's not just gonna come to and knowing that I was struggling with that disconnect, with that FOMO, just like and having that having that backup. This is something that's not ideas off of with other dads. Once I found myself really being able to throw myself into it and reach out to other dads that I knew, like, a and ask them, like, hey. Are you suffering with the same stuff that I have? And, like, no. No. I'm good. Well, actually, yeah. I didn't wanna say anything, but, yeah, I feel that too in, like, of having friends that, like, man, you know what? Let me check on some of my mom check on my dad friends. And, like, I know how I'm feeling. Let me check up on them. And then once doing that, like, seeing it there like, yeah, a lot of us were having that same thing, but, like, not feeling that we had anybody to talk to. So I might try to invite them into different spaces or just always make make myself available to be a space for my immediate community of dads. Then I've gone on to, like, join my local PTA and try being more active in my kids' school and work with some of the dads there to have more of the fathers on campus and doing doing things and more active in the events. And that has helped. Definitely had comments from other dads in the school. Gerard Gousman [00:18:21]: And it's great to see you always there. Like, I was nervous about going because it's always just the moms, but seeing you in in it and active, like, made me feel okay. Alright? There'll at least be somebody another dad there to talk to. And and every time now I go out, go to pick up the kids, like, hey, man. I see some of the dads, like, hey, we doing this or something. Just checking in on how you doing. Like, not how you doing, but how are you? And checking in on the other day, that's when I see them at pick up and inviting them into the spaces in school and and know, like, hey, it's not a spady thing. They're not gonna load up on you. Gerard Gousman [00:18:48]: Be more active. You got to support. There's other guys here that get it. And we're starting to start to have more of the dads in our school community be more active and stepping up and taking a lead on things. So that's been great to see. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:05]: Yeah. It's so exciting to to hear that you're finding that community. I think that whether you're working or not, it's so important to find a community that you connect with and don't go through fatherhood feeling like you have to do everything by yourself because so many times men step into fatherhood thinking, I've got to know everything. I've got to be that expert. I've got to be the man per se. And you don't you don't have to be the man. You can be a man and know that there are so many other people right around your block or in your apartment complex. No matter where you live that are going through similar things, you just have to reach out and you have to talk to them and just kinda, Gerard, like you said, just say, how are you and truly be willing to ask the question and see and understand and connect on that deeper level. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:59]: So, Gerard, one of the things that I guess that I would ask is now you've got kids at different ages. They're involved in so many different things. The personalities are probably very different from one another. How do you keep that connection and build those unique relationships with each of your kids? Gerard Gousman [00:20:17]: That part definitely difficult, especially once the teenage years and they grow and get their independence, and they construct their own communities. I think I always tap in and let them know I relate to what's going on. I try to I'll let them know, like, I'm always available to talk. Especially for the older kids, like, we don't talk as much and maybe a like my 16 year old. Gerard Gousman [00:20:42]: Are you good? I'm cool. Alright. Tell me about your day. What's we gonna tell me about your week. Alright. Anything new? No. And I'm like, alright. So I'll check-in next month. They're going through and make it a point of having to go on to the, like, all the the school forums and following the the different school Facebook groups and different stuff. Like, I'm like, you got a key from the mayor? Why didn't you tell anybody? Like, it wasn't a big deal. What? The mayor came to send me a school and no. You didn't you didn't wanna tell anybody that that was happening. Like, that isn't a big deal. Well, at least put on a nice shirt that day. So things like that. Like, wanting to be open when I can. I know, not the hippest. They're definitely difficult across but they're totally different generations, I guess. If you ask them, they're totally different generations. What worked with the oldest, I mean, I know I could even work with the 16 year old and between the 16 and the 17 year old. Gerard Gousman [00:21:36]: The way I could communicate and relate with 1 to a totally different approach to the other. And so I'm going through and finding those personality points and being able to figure out, adjust, and tweak my parenting style for each of them. Just realizing that, alright, the way I can talk to one isn't the same as other. Like, one, I can go through and ask something, and they'll just ramble on and tell you all the detail. Another one, it puts pulling teeth. You're asking it's 50 questions. It's 50 questions together. How was your day? Just to get to that point. Gerard Gousman [00:22:08]: And so finding a way that it each communicates and how to research. I wanna watch videos and read articles and Internet snooping and going on to TikTok and Instagram and going through the trends, like, alright. What did I hear them mention? They're in, like, alright. And just trying to stay abreast of what's what's hip in their different areas. Like, alright. What's hip for the in this age group? What's hip in this age group? And how just using those little points I can to as a point of relation to open them up because I may ask a bunch of questions, but then I may mention something about this one artist. And that may be the thing that unlocks that that window that was shut in with blinds and locked and curtains across it. Now our sun's coming right on in now. Gerard Gousman [00:22:54]: It's like, oh, yeah. Gerard Gousman [00:22:55]: That's my favorite song. I was thinking about that. You know what? I was talking to my friends today. You know, we were thinking about going to Greece. I'm like, oh, I Gerard Gousman [00:23:01]: asked you, had you heard this song? All the information I've been trying to get out of you for a month has just come down because I asked you, had you heard this new song? So I'm interested in finding things like that, those little points of connection where I can. And I keep a little Google Keep note list of the things like favorite food and drink orders, and stuff like that. They mentioned this artist one time. Make sure I remember on that. And just jotting down little things for each kid that those bigger points of relation that I can come back to when that normal communication isn't working. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:33]: So this whole story of what we've been talking about was recently put out in front of the world through a New York Times article. And talk to me about that, and why you chose to be a part of that article, why you wanted your story out there, but also what has come from that story being shared? And what are you hearing not only from people around you, but people broader than in your local community. Gerard Gousman [00:24:02]: Yeah. So, so that was a great opportunity. I was definitely happy to be included. The writer, Kelly Coyne, reached out to me, and we had a great discussion about some of the some of this about my experiences as Gerard Gousman [00:24:15]: a father and just in the changing styles of fatherhood, and wanted to work with the org with that Home Dad Network. That's been one of our mission. Being able to help update that face of parenthood and kinda change the popular conception of at home dads. I wanted to have them be included because it's been an interesting journey for me and having more dads be open about the experience. And we we do we have a lot of that. I definitely have gotten that mister mom comment from strangers and friends alike as both an insult and as a compliment from it being termed as something endearing and something as a joke. And knowing that we'd be able to put to face a fatherhood that can be active in being at home and regularly engage fathers, not just done one way. There's not just one way to do that. Gerard Gousman [00:25:10]: So that's something I wanted to, I guess, give my perspective on, of the way that it works for us versus the way that some other dads mentioned the way that they came to this point of being at home dad and being a primary caregiver. So it was honor to be able to share that perspective. I think having some of the response I've gotten, really great all around, friends, family. But having other guys that I know that were dads reach out, I think that's been the best part of seeing, like, man, that's cool. Like, I really really wish I could do that. Like, I wanna do that, but I don't think I have it in me to be able to teach my kids on the day of having the patience or having a structure and being able to be open with them. It's like, hey. It's it's not all every day is not great. Gerard Gousman [00:25:56]: It's not all wins, but it's all positive. It's all necessary. Like, I am always happy at the end result. Right? And once I you have to have those points hitting those walls and having the end result, like, at the end of day, like, well, it's more worse circumstances we could be in and being happy that I am able to have the opportunity. Having the privilege to be able to be in a position that I can be here and make these mistakes and learn with my family and help my family grow. I guess, I haven't had it's negative. I did have, but I reached out for an interview, and it was kinda the the other side of it, they want it, bro. What's the negative response you've gotten? Like, there hasn't isn't any. Gerard Gousman [00:26:35]: Like, what was the bad part? It's not. It's been great as far as the experience. Of course, there's always small things, family things that happen, but it has been a majorly positive experience because that's what I make it. And it's like if in being able to relate that to other fathers. The experience is gonna be what you make. It's not gonna be easy. It's not gonna be as hard as you think it will be either. It definitely will be the days where you gotta sit in the emergency room after you but you get up early and think you're gonna go to bed early, and it's like next thing, you know, you're up till 3 AM, and you gotta get up at 7 AM the next day. Gerard Gousman [00:27:09]: It's like but you keep going, and you find the time to make your peace. And that's the biggest thing that has made this a positive and more eased experience for me, is the focus that my wife and I put on having our home be a place of peace. And I instillment with the kids. Like, I yell just like most dads, I'm sure, yell. Then circling back on that, circling back. Alright. Oh, bring that back. That's why I yelled. Gerard Gousman [00:27:38]: We need to stop yelling as a collective and learning how to quiet yell. This is something I've been working on with the baby, this quiet yelling with him. Like, you can be you can be mad. You can scream, but don't scream at me. I am so angry right now. Don't do that. Like, see? It still works. He reads the facial. Gerard Gousman [00:27:58]: I'm like, he can read the facial expressions. Okay. Okay. Gerard Gousman [00:28:02]: And so sometimes that he's gonna Gerard Gousman [00:28:04]: go into it, and I'm learning, seeing that he is learning that as well, He's screaming, and then he was I'm like, you're getting it. Okay? So I think I'm a you know, things of being able to share the learnings with so much the with the broader community of dads and parents. But just having that small community of dads that I've been friends with forever coming to me and be like, you know what? I've been struggling. I didn't think I could do this. But, you know, I I read your piece and seen your piece like, man, it's thank you. Thank you for putting on that face for us and know that it is hard and that we can do this. And I think that's been the best response for me was having dads that that I knew come to me and, like, that's it right there. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:48]: Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5 where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready? Okay. In one word, what is fatherhood? Gerard Gousman [00:28:57]: Yes. What indeed? It's it is a constant what. Amazing. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:03]: When was the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father? Gerard Gousman [00:29:07]: Sometime between 3 and 3:15. Last week, I figured a point to kinda catalog my wins so that on those bad days, those those days I'll take the l, I can draw back to them. So I had one last week. I took my 7 year old and one of his friends, one of his classmates. They were on spring break last week. Took him took him to trampoline par, and it's how seeing how happy they were and having the friend comment like, gee, I always knew you were the coolest dad at school. Gerard Gousman [00:29:36]: And I was like, you remember to tell all the other kids that when you go back to school next week. Okay? He's like, oh, they already know. Like, you alright. Now you're just messing with me. Get out of here. I'm like, what do you want? Gerard Gousman [00:29:46]: He's like, no. Really? We like you. It's like, okay. Maximus is that's my son. Like, Maximus is always he sure ain't always happy, and he seems to have a lot of fun. And you guys do cool things, and you always do cool stuff for us at school. So that's why, like, yeah. You're definitely the coolest dad at school. Gerard Gousman [00:30:03]: And I was like, alright. Gerard Gousman [00:30:04]: I'm gonna remember this. See how long this last. I'm gonna remember this. Bring this back up in a couple of months when you're making fun of me. Because last year in kindergarten, they were all making fun of me for being bald. So to know that I'm one of them thinks that I'm cool. That's not mine. That that I'm taking that weed. Gerard Gousman [00:30:20]: Yeah. Just knowing that it was cool like that. It seemed that not just because we do and giving them stuff, but it's like that. The other kids notice how happy my kids are and think that it's because of me. That that was a win for me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:32]: Now if I was to talk to your kids, how would they describe you as a dad? Gerard Gousman [00:30:36]: Which one on which day? Open? Fun? Tired? A good cook? Positive. More often than not, I am positive and try to keep them focused on a positive trajectory. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:48]: Who inspires you to be a better dad? Gerard Gousman [00:30:50]: First off, my kids. They I feel like seeing the growth and seeing the smaller lessons. The things that I don't think that they all the things that you don't think they listened to that they didn't hear. And seeing them engage in the world as positivity and seeing them being kind and open and taking care of others, that generally is recharging to me. Like, alright. I'm doing something. I'm doing something right. How can I build on this? Right? So I have kinda curated a great great base of dads. Gerard Gousman [00:31:22]: So I'm getting lots of great dad content from different podcasts. The things that a lot of the dads in our network do, the way they interact with their kids, the risk that dads take, putting their selves out there to not only tackle their home and family stuff, but in going out and living their dreams. And guys like Matt Strain, who all the stuff for his family, but also as a triathlete and doing things like that. Like, man, I couldn't imagine running on a walker like myself. He's like, no, man. It's you just gotta get into it and and go and delve in and do it. Like, having dads who push the envelope and really put their stuff out there to be more than just dad. And try to remember that, a, we were once young, vibrant men with dreams and hopes and hobbies and try the the dads who find themselves and get back to that and are but are still fully active in in their debt. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:19]: Now you've given a lot of piece of advice today, things for all of us to think about and to consider for our own journeys as dads. As we leave today, as we finish up today, what's one piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad? Gerard Gousman [00:32:32]: I'd say, in closing, the it tends to know that becoming a father doesn't have to mark the end of you being a man. You can find those avenues to be able to go out and maintain your happiness, maintain your peace, and be a person. Right? And don't lose yourself in that, that go to your kids to see that you are not just that, but that you are still vibrant and that you love your life and are living a life that makes you happy, not just living a life of service. So I think that would be the that's the biggest thing I would share is, like, to go out and make sure that your kids see you being happy with your life. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:17]: Well, Gerard, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for sharing your own journey today. If people people wanna find out more about you, where should they go? Gerard Gousman [00:33:24]: I am so boring, but join the National At Home Data Network. We are doing membership drive. If they come and join us, Come hang out with us at DadCon in Saint Louis this year. That's in October. And it's the only way you can find me in one of those forums if I'm not somewhere wrangling? Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:40]: Well, Gerard, just thank you. Thank you so much for being here, and I wish you all the best. Gerard Gousman [00:33:44]: Thank you very much for having me. Appreciate being on. Will be listening. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:48]: If you've enjoyed today's episode of the dads with daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the fatherhood insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly dads like you. So check it out at fathering together dot org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with Daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week, all geared to helping you raise strong empowered daughters and be the best dad that you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:47]: We're all in the same boat, And it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and musclemen. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:35:27]: Get out and be the world to them. Be the best that you can be.

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Homeschooling Insight from a Working Dad

A Homegrown Family

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2024 46:40

Send us a Text Message.When it comes to homeschooling, fathers are typically the bread winners while mothers are typically the home-makers and primary educators of the children. However, one, like my friend Vince, might say that a mixture of parental involvement is more ideal. Be present, be flexible, but ultimately tighten the belt and be the husband and parent you need to be. Email: ahomegrownfam@gmail.comInstagram: ahomegrownfamOur YouTube ChannelSupport the Show.

Joe Bovell's Legacy of Love and Leadership in Parenting Daughters

Alabama's Morning News with JT

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2024 27:27

In the realm of parenting, fathers play a pivotal role in shaping their children's lives, especially daughters. The journey of fatherhood is complex, filled with joys, challenges, and continuous learning experiences. In the Dads with Daughters podcast episode featuring Joe Bovell, a father of two, a profound discussion unfolded regarding the evolving dynamics of raising daughters. Let's delve into the insightful dialogue and extract key takeaways on navigating the path of fatherhood. Embracing the Journey of Parenthood Joe Bovell's narrative sheds light on the profound transformation that occurs when one becomes a father. The initial emotions of surprise and delight upon discovering the gender of his children set the stage for a journey filled with expectations, fears, and aspirations. Embracing fatherhood as a collaborative effort with his wife, Joe highlights the importance of being present and actively engaging in his children's lives from the moment they enter the world. Navigating Fears and Challenges As daughters transition through different stages of life, fathers like Joe Bovell acknowledge the evolving fears and challenges that come with the territory. From the desire to protect their daughters in their early years to confronting the societal pressures and influences as they grow older, the complexities of fatherhood magnify over time. Joe's exploration of the generational differences and the impact of social media on his daughter's growth provides a poignant reflection on the constant adaptation required in modern-day parenting. Balancing Work, Life, and Parenting An integral aspect of Joe's journey as a father is balancing his professional commitments with his role as a parent. As the CEO of Eco Growth International, Joe emphasizes the significance of quality over quantity when it comes to spending time with his family. Striving to be an engaged and supportive father amidst a busy schedule, Joe's approach reflects the ongoing quest for balance and prioritization in the realm of work-life integration. Drawing Inspiration from Personal Challenges Joe Bovell's upbringing in poverty and adversity serves as a foundation for his parenting philosophy. The resilience and work ethic instilled by his life experiences shape his perspectives on fatherhood and drive him to provide a safe and secure environment for his children. Joe's reflection on the absence of a father figure in his life underscores the profound impact of personal adversities in shaping one's values and aspirations as a parent. Continuous Growth and Reflection One of the most profound insights shared by Joe Bovell is the importance of continuous growth and reflection as a father. Acknowledging the feedback from his children, embracing the changing dynamics as they transition into adulthood, and navigating the fine line between guidance and autonomy, Joe exemplifies the essence of evolving as a parent. The journey of fatherhood is marked by learning on the job, adapting to new challenges, and striving to be the best version of oneself for the sake of one's children. In essence, Joe Bovell's journey as a father provides a poignant narrative on the highs, lows, and intricate nuances of raising daughters. His reflections on fears, challenges, and the continuous strive for improvement paint a vivid picture of the multifaceted nature of fatherhood. As fathers navigate the complexities of parenting, Joe's insights serve as a guiding light, emphasizing the importance of presence, resilience, and a constant commitment to being the best dad one can be in shaping the lives of their daughters. Joe Bovell was a part of Sarah Maconachie's book of stories about fathers called Working Dads and Balancing Acts. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down, talk to you to be able to be on this journey with you. Because I know it is a journey. You know, I've got 2 daughters myself. I know you've got daughters, and you are going through this journey just like I am. You may have really young daughters, you could have teenage daughters, you could have grown and flown daughters, but we're all on a journey to help our daughters to be able to be those women, those strong, independent women that I already mentioned, but that we want them to be in life. And that's why the show exists. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:01]: It exists because I want to help you along this path. I am not an expert, but it is important to be able to walk together in this journey, because we can always learn and grow and be better as fathers. And that's why every week I love being able to bring you different guests, different dads, different people, people with resources, people with different experiences and and on different journeys that can help you to see your own journey of fatherhood in a little bit different way. And by hearing these experiences, my hope is that you're adding some tools to that toolbox that you're carrying with you. And that that will help you in the journey that you're on. This week, we've got another great guest with us today. Joe Bovell is with us today. And Joe is a father of 2. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:56]: He's got a son. He's got a daughter. And we're gonna be talking about the journey that he has been on as a father himself. And I'm really excited to be able to talk to him today. Joe, thanks so much for being here today. Joe Bovell [00:02:07]: Welcome, Chris. Thank you. I'm looking forward to this. Well, I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:10]: really excited to have you here today. And I always start the interviews with an opportunity to kinda go back in time. We're gonna turn the clock back a little bit. And I said, you have a son, you have a daughter, and we're gonna focus on your daughter today. But I want you to go back to that first moment that you found out that you were gonna be a dad to a daughter. What was going through your head? Joe Bovell [00:02:27]: Well, I found out as she was born. So it seems to be a bit against the norm now where a lot of people wanna know the sex of their child before well before they're born. We took the decision with both our children to not do that. So so that was a great surprise, and I'm glad we did that. So our son was born first as you touched on. So it was great when I found out I had a daughter because that was the pigeon pear. That was fantastic to have that moment where we said, okay. Let's let's work out. Joe Bovell [00:02:53]: You know, we're being blessed. We've had, a boy and a girl. We had a lot of difficulties through both pregnancies. My wife did, not me, of course. But and she had morning sickness for every single day of each pregnancy up until the day including the day they were born. So we were only ever gonna have 2 children. So the fact that Stephanie was born was, yeah, it was a great delight. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:13]: Now, you know, I talked to a lot of dads, that have daughters, and a lot of the dads talk about that there is fear that goes along with raising daughters. Now, you had a son first, then you had your daughter. Talk to me about what was your biggest fear in raising a daughter? Joe Bovell [00:03:29]: I think those fears have evolved as she's gotten older. There's certainly the protective mood kicks in in those early years and and her development. But I'd say in the last 5 years, the pressures of social media, expectations of society to act and look in a particular way, that's certainly my greatest fears right now because I can see how it's influencing her how it influences her friend network, and how they communicate with each other is just so different. And I think one of my fears was the generational difference in how I grew up versus how she's growing up, and it is so different. And as a parent, you're trying to manage that sit a situation that you really have little control over. So I think the early stages because we had an established family and have a son first, there weren't as many fears. But I think now that she's interacting with the wider world, the fear has heightened, particularly in the last 5 years. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:25]: So as you talk about the fear being heightened, what is that fear now? Joe Bovell [00:04:29]: It's quite significant, particularly because I think as she's getting older and developing and growing into being a woman, I can see the pressures, societal pressures coming on to her to look a certain way, to act a certain way, to like a certain musician, to be accepted in the group. And how her friends and schoolmates actually interact with each other, and how we can escalate so quickly. So if one person doesn't get invited to a party and that person finds out about it, it sets off this chain of events that really, as I say, escalates into something that gets out of control pretty quickly. And I can see the pressure bearing on her, and then that obviously affects me as a father because you have little to no control over it. And I think it's that I can see that building as she's getting older, and that might change or tap out when she gets to 18 or 19. But at the moment, as a 15 year old, to me, it appears to be at its highest. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:22]: Now there are definitely highs and lows to fatherhood and parenting. There are good times. There's challenging times. Talk to me about what's been the hardest part about being a father to a daughter? Joe Bovell [00:05:35]: It's a really good question because I think there's so many layers. But maybe my first reaction is, in a lot of ways, my daughter has a really close relationship with her mom, and I think that's that's vitally important and not as close to to me. So you have to reconcile that that she is gonna do some more things with her mom because the girl thinks, and they're gonna enjoy that exploration together. And maybe a lot of the interest I have don't sort of resonate with her. So I think it's accepting that you have a particular role to play in your daughter's life, and I might necessarily be the friend or the mate that say mom is. It's more the mentor and that type of role. So relationship shifting from that really close bond to we're still close, but it's not not as close as what it was perhaps 5 years ago. Because she's developing and emerging and and forming her own opinions on life. Joe Bovell [00:06:25]: Right? So I think that's probably the greatest challenge. There's others, of course, but I think that's probably the greatest for me personally as a dad and how I manage that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:33]: I know you're a busy guy. You are the CEO and Managing Director at Eco Growth International. And that alone is a very busy job. And then you have your family, you have your other responsibilities, you're balancing a lot of different things, wearing a lot of hats. So talk to me about balance and what you do to be able to be that engaged dad that you wanna be. Joe Bovell [00:06:55]: Yeah. I think it's about making the most of the time that you have together and having quality rather than quantity. And, look, they've grown up. Steph's grown up with me in this role, you know, half her life. So she's accustomed to me traveling or doing longer working hours or whatever that might be. So that's the norm. I mean, it's pretty normal now when I can go on a trip and she comments and perhaps did I even go away. So and that's not that she didn't miss me, but she's just so used to me not being there. Joe Bovell [00:07:23]: And I think and that's like, I spoke on her in your earlier question about the bond with her mom is closer because she spends more time with her. So it's a really difficult balance, and I I do I wouldn't say I have an issue with it, but I would challenge the notion of work life balance. I don't I don't think there is. Trying to get that balance, I think, is incredibly difficult. And if you can do that, then I'll take my hat off to you. But I've always gone with the moments that really matter, I want to be there. So be that a school assembly or an award or a presentation or a sporting event, to me, that's vital that I'm there, and work absolutely comes second in those occasions. Work is not everything. Joe Bovell [00:08:04]: So that's where I try and make that balanced choice. It's go okay. It I don't know. It sounds like prioritization, but it's actually saying what are the moments that really matter and and being engaged in those moments as well. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:21]: Now you and I were connected through Sarah McConachie, who you wrote a piece of her new book in working dads and balancing acts. And in that book, you you talk about the fact that your childhood wasn't the easiest. You had a single mom, you you grew up in poverty and adversity. And that helped as you write in your in your, piece, that it really shaped a sense of resilience in you and a work ethic that remains with you today. And in that you talk about the absence of a father figure in your life. So talk to me a little bit about that absence, and how you push through that when you became a father, to be able to define fatherhood for yourself and to be the father that you wanted to be? Joe Bovell [00:09:19]: That was certainly my greatest fear, when we found out my wife was pregnant, was what kind of father would I be? Because I had no I had no benchmark. So I I never met my father at all, so there was no relationship whatsoever. I didn't have any male mentors in my life growing up either. Obviously, I was very close to my mother. But I didn't have that I didn't have anything shaping me in terms of being a father. So when my, son was born, I hadn't even held a baby. And when I had friends who had babies, I'd always avoided it because I always felt I was gonna break them if I held them. But, but now yeah. Joe Bovell [00:10:09]: So moving through that journey, I think you you come back to your own principles of doing what you feel is right. You know that you're gonna make mistakes. I've made I think I've made a lot of mistakes, in my in being a father. And would that have been different if I'd had a father figure in my life growing up? I'm not sure. I always took the position that I was fortunate in not having a father. And the reason I say that because, you know, how many children have, you know, parents who go through divorce or they have a a household that's not safe? And so just because you have a father doesn't necessarily mean it's great. So that was my one of my coping mechanisms, I guess. So I don't know how I became a father. Joe Bovell [00:11:02]: I just it just it was a lot by accident, and I learned on the job. And I think what what I touched on in the chapter was that I just felt that what I've gone through in my life, I did not want to have that repeated. So that was my guiding light in being a father. And like I said, I'm not perfect, and I do certainly things I do differently. But I think, overall, that was the the guide for me to be the father that I am. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:38]: Now I mentioned the fact that in what you wrote, you also talked about growing up in poverty and adversity. How did that shape your perspectives on life and on fatherhood? Joe Bovell [00:11:53]: On the on the life front, it it it shaped pretty quickly that if you wanted something, you had to go and, work for it. You had to you had to earn it. There was no nothing was gifted, and that you had the choice. So you came to a fork in the road that you could go the right way or the wrong way, or you could choose to stay in poverty, you could choose to be uneducated or not be a nice person, or you can actually choose to be the other way. So go the other way. So and we spoke earlier. My career path and life path hasn't certainly been linear, but it's always been guided by a drive that you can't implant into many people, and my kids don't have it. And I think that's really interesting because I've tried to help build resilience with them. Joe Bovell [00:12:43]: So it's difficult if you don't suffer adversity to build resilience. They sort of go hand in hand. So that's only shaped everything, and I started work part time when I was 10 years old, which seems pretty foreign there. Back in the early eighties, that wasn't so uncommon. But we because we had no money or, opportunity and you had friends who were doing things that you couldn't do because you couldn't afford them, you didn't have a choice. Do we go and sell newspapers and be able to be part of that or not? And I haven't been out of work since. So and it probably annoys my kids because in some ways, I have an imposter syndrome. Well, I think I do have an imposter syndrome, not in some ways. Joe Bovell [00:13:20]: And there's a fear of losing what you have, and I'm not sure that'll ever leave me. So I could be a multimillionaire, and I still might feel that it could all be taken away from me tomorrow. So that's good and bad. That certainly goes a great driver, but what it can affect is your ability to enjoy the moment. And I think that's been probably the feedback from my daughter particularly that I'm not enjoying the moment. I'm always thinking a couple of years ahead or I'm thinking about protecting what we have and not enjoying it as much as what we can. As I get older, starting to, loosen up on that a little bit. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:56]: Now you mentioned the fact that as you were growing up, you didn't have a father figure. There were no father figures in your life. You were close to your mother, but you had that lack of a father figure. And as you walked into fatherhood, as you mentioned, hadn't held the baby, you thought you were gonna break the baby. You know, you had a lot to learn and that you kind of figured out what being a father was. Who or what did you turn to to be able to model after without having that father figure in your life to be that father that you wanted to be? Joe Bovell [00:14:29]: I have to say it's my wife. So we had the same commitment to raising a family in a particular way, so we're on the same page. So even at that point, I still didn't have a male mentor. And as you well know, men aren't particularly good at talking to each other or being open in their communication. So dads don't sit around in father's groups like moms do in mother's groups and share their experiences and share helpful advice. Dads almost said it's a badge of honor to not ask for advice, which is not necessarily a good thing. Back in my generation, at least, I think it's improving, and I think there's more content education available to young fathers. So I've had to say my wife because we had a a firm commitment to raising our children in a certain way, and that was the way we wanted to do it. Joe Bovell [00:15:15]: So no. I didn't actually still at that point have a male influence on my life other than what I read or digested online. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:23]: Now you mentioned that in what you wrote that one of the things that you really wanted to do was provide a safe and secure upbringing for your kids, free from the struggles that you faced. So talk to me about how you balanced protecting them while also allowing them to learn and grow from the challenges that they would face as they grew up. Joe Bovell [00:15:45]: The provision of the safe family unit again, I've gotta give my wife credit for that as well. I I can't claim all of that. I think a lot of that happened in the background and that they weren't necessarily aware of that, and perhaps they got given too much. That's probably one of the other struggles I have. And that is there an overcorrection in providing far too much when, say, you missed out on it and then you wanna make up for that to some degree. So which again is good and bad. It's great to have to been able to have done that for them, but there's also comes an expectation and entitlement, which I don't think is fabulous for helping them in that sense. So and my wife has always spoken about that. Joe Bovell [00:16:22]: We probably should've peeled that back a little bit. So we achieved what we wanted to do in providing that safe family home, but did we overcorrect and not build resilience and build in a modicum of entitlement and that things might come a little bit too easy. And that's the really difficult part. I think that's been the hardest part for me in parenting. It's been that balancing between giving enough or too much or not enough. And I think sometimes you don't know that till you get to the end, until they get to 18 or 20. You might get little hints along the way, but you might not actually see, say, a sense of entitlement or lack of resilience until they're 16. And is that too late? Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:01]: Now all of us are not perfect, and we have to learn and grow and become better as we move through fatherhood. What would you say have been some of the strategies that you employed to continuously improve as a dad? And how do you handle setbacks or moments when you feel like you've fallen short? Joe Bovell [00:17:21]: I think the feedback from the kids is probably the greatest tool, which is an interesting one because as they're developing and forming their own opinions and and they become more vocal in that, you're realizing what your impact has been as a parent. Doesn't mean they're always right though, I gotta say, because their opinions and learnings are based on what they know at that point in time, and they might not be privy to the background information. So I remember reading somewhere or heard somewhere not that long ago that someone said that, you know, how to become a great parent of an 18 year old. And they said, well, I'm not bad, but I don't know how to be the parent of a 19 year old. Because it was the first time they had evolved. And I think that's the learning on the job that I've mentioned earlier that being a dad to a 6 year old is so different to a 15 year old. As we know, it is just radically different. You go from helping them grow and be a a person. Joe Bovell [00:18:12]: They can start to look after themselves and and teach them the basics of life and to then someone who's then forming really strong opinions on the world and they're forming their own character. And there's inevitable clashes with that, clashes in our deals and philosophies. That's been a challenge. So I think the thing I've learned is that you go from protector and teacher, you need to then become more of a listener than a doer and be more there if they need you rather than being there a 100% of the time. And that's taking me a fair bit of brain power to wrap my head around that because, again, that's probably the biggest challenges of being dead, Particularly for me was you go from the protected provider to actually, we don't need you to do that anymore, dad. Actually, why don't you back off a bit? Because you're actually you've been a security guard all this time. We don't need that. We're finding our own way in the world. Joe Bovell [00:19:02]: We need you to be there if we need you. So you can feel a bit redundant, but I'll look at that too and say, yeah. But that's part of our job, isn't it? That we're preparing our children for adulthood. And if they should, in some ways, be disconnecting from us, cutting the umbilical cord to a degree, but hope that they come back when they need to. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:20]: Now you've kind of talked about this in trying to raise your kids to be prepared for the future. And I know in what you wrote, you talked about wanting your kids to be successful, happy, well balanced. How do you instill those values and aspirations in them while also allowing them to pursue their own paths? Joe Bovell [00:19:39]: Actions speak louder than words, and I think you need to demonstrate that consistently that you have those values as a person, that you can work and have all these other interests, but you can still dedicate time to your family and be there for when you need them. But balancing that against, and which I touched on earlier, I think that's been the challenge for me. You go, jeez. I'd love it if you guys turned out this way, but the reality is you can maybe try and influence it a little bit, but they're gonna form their own values and opinions and style. So I think the only really way you do that is the little building blocks you put on since they were born and that this is the way we do things around here. So people talk about workplace culture, and there's a home culture as well, where you say, well, this is how we do things, and this is what we stand for, and and hope that the kids can and that's not always right. So that's this is where the challenge comes now that you might believe it's the right way to do something, but maybe it's not. And they have influences outside the household now that, are quite strong. Joe Bovell [00:20:37]: The school system is I I think, they dedicate a lot of time now to the values and how they wanna be as people when they get to the end of the school journey. So that's certainly that and then their peer group. So I think you can lay the foundation stones and hope that that is the platform that they need, and then they'll top up and put their own icing on the cake. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:56]: Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve be, Chris. In one word, what is fatherhood? Joe Bovell [00:21:03]: Satisfying. When was Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:09]: the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father to a daughter? Joe Bovell [00:21:13]: When I saw her become really independent, form strong opinions on a particular issue, and be eloquent in that, and be cognizant of the audience that she was around. And you think, okay, yeah, she's turning into a remarkable woman. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:29]: Now if I was to talk to your kids, how would they describe you as a dad? Joe Bovell [00:21:33]: Probably a pain in the ass, I'd suggest, to be honest. I'm pretty motivated and driven, and I struggle with the concept that they might still be in bed at 11 o'clock in the morning. So but I would hope that they would see that I'm committed and motivated and always try and do the right thing. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:48]: Now who inspires you to be a better dad? Joe Bovell [00:21:50]: My kids do. Because we've touched on a journey. You know that there was no manual when we got the child, and it's an interesting journey because we did the prenatal classes, and there's all this attention on the child on the birth. But you know what? There was no education when you got the baby home. So we got home and said, jeez, what do we do now? So that was a real wake up call. So there's no manual. You're learning on the job, and you know you never nail it. So the inspiration is to keep getting better at what you do along their journey. Joe Bovell [00:22:20]: And the challenge also is that is evolving as they grow into adults. So they're the 2 people who shaped me the most. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:27]: Now you've shared a lot about your own journey. You've shared some of the highs, the lows, you've shared thoughts and perspectives and and some ideas as well. As we're finishing up today, what's one piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad? Joe Bovell [00:22:40]: I think make the most of every moment. It is incredibly fast that journey from birth to your child being 18. People talk about it, but when you live it, not a day goes past when I don't remember their birth and what that was at that time and the impact it had on us and me individually. And I cannot believe how fast that journey goes. And my advice would be take the time to go to the school assembly, to have the moments with them alone in a park, and go for those walks and have those conversation, to know that it might be the last time you ever get that chance to spend with them. I'm not trying to sound morbid, but you'll never get that time back. And those cutest things when they're at their, school assemblies and they're doing their plays and they're cast as a tree and you've helped paint their costume and that goes so quickly. And then you you're dealing with a 16 year old daughter who's more interested in the friends and and Ariana Grande and all these other influences that those conversations and moments with dad, they will never be the same. Joe Bovell [00:23:40]: They won't probably be as much as what you had when they were much younger. So cherish every moment that you can because, a, go so quickly, and, b, as they grow into adults, they generally wanna spend less time with you. So make the most of the time that you have because it is gold. That's my advice. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:57]: Well, Joey, just wanna say thank you for sharing your journey today. If people wanna find out more about you, is there a good place for them to go? Joe Bovell [00:24:04]: I'm I'm not a social media king, but I'm sure you can probably find me online. LinkedIn's probably a a good option for me or Facebook. I'd love to hear from people all around the world. That'd be fantastic. And that was my reasoning for doing this was it was slightly cathartic because I did get down in some deep dark places in my chapters. But it's about can I if I can help one person or give just the smallest piece of advice that helps someone, one dad, then my job is done, and I'm really happy with that? Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:32]: And we've mentioned the book already, but Sarah McConachie has a book that has a number of dads in it. You've heard from a number of the dads already. And Joe is one of the authors from that book, And I encourage you to go and check it out. You can go to workhardparenthard.com.au to find out more and be able to get some more information on the book and read more about Joe's story, as well as many other dad stories that are working to be the best dads that they can be, but also to provide a gender equitable home that allow for that equal role of parents and the work within the home. And that's an important discussion to have and important things to read and to learn about. So, Joe, thank you so much again for being here, and I wish you all the best. If you've enjoyed today's of the dads with daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the fatherhood insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:38]: We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly dads like you. So check it out atfatheringtogether.org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week. All geared to helping you raise strong empowered daughters and be the best dad that you can be. We're all in the same boat, And it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast, calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and musclemen. Get out and beat the world. Choose them. Be the best dad you can be. You're the best dad you can be.

Erin Real says Apple Pay expands to loans and there are good states for working dads

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 7:14 Transcription Available

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#353 - Money Update Mai: Was haben Männerfußball, Working Dads und die Familienmutter mit Feminismus zu tun?

Der Madame Moneypenny Podcast mit Natascha Wegelin

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2024 30:54

Erfahre alles über den neuen viralen Trend “Microfeminism”, wie du Care Work auf LinkedIn sichtbarer machen kannst, ob sich Kunst als Geldanlage lohnt und welche große Änderung es bei Trade Republic gibt.

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Doug Veal's Transition: Redefining Roles from Detective to Devoted Dad

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2024 29:09

This week on the Dads with Daughters Podcast, we welcome Doug Veal, a devoted father and past Police Detective. In this episode we dive deep into learning more about Doug's journey and what he had to do to be the dad that he knew that he wanted to be. The Pivot to Parenthood When Doug Veal discovered he would become a father, the ensuing excitement was matched by an awareness of his wife's heart condition. The joy of fatherhood came with a responsibility to pivot his focus from being a police officer to providing for his family during their medical journey. Veal's decision to take parental leave, an unusual step in law enforcement culture, underscored the emerging shift in parental roles and the importance of being present during critical family moments. Taking leave amid the challenges of a demanding career, Veal showed that fatherhood demanded flexibility, courage, and an unabashed willingness to break from tradition. Shaping a Legacy Doug Veal's discernment in prioritizing family well-being over career progression serves as a testament to the evolving nature of fatherhood. Inspired by his belief in being a balanced role model and the potential of his children's future, Veal's journey from the force to becoming a stay-at-home dad exemplifies the sacrifice and adaptability required in modern parenting. He advises fathers to be patient and considerate in their interactions with challenges, knowing that these qualities shape their legacy far beyond tangible achievements. The Power of Community and Support Acknowledging the pressures and complexities associated with his transition, Veal harnessed the support of employee assistance programs and peer support groups to navigate stressful periods. His experiences highlight the crucial role of community in providing different perspectives and shared experiences. Belonging to a network of fathers allows for a collective wisdom that individual experience alone cannot replicate, providing grounding and solidarity in the adventure of fatherhood. Maximizing Family Time In today's world where work encroaches on personal life, Veal emphasizes the importance of boundary setting. Whether it's outdoor adventures or being present from morning till school time, he urges fathers to maximize quality interactions with their children. Veal's proactive approach to fatherhood—choosing meaningful experiences over work commitments—serves as a powerful reminder to dads about the essence of being present and cherishing fleeting moments. Reflecting on Being a Dad In the 'fatherhood 5' segment, Veal refers to fatherhood as an adventure while sharing fond memories like his son's merit for respect. His vision for the future is to be seen as fun, involved, and particularly, available. This segment cements the notion that fatherhood is an evolving journey marked by pivotal moments that shape not only the life of the child but also the personal growth of the father. You can learn more about Doug's journey as a father in the new book by Sarah Maconachie, Working Dads and Balancing Acts. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down with you, to walk with you on this journey that you're on. And to be honest, you and I are on this same journey together because I've got 2 daughters, you've got daughters, and it's always important to be able to learn from each other and be willing to learn from each other, but also to learn from others to help us to be the dads that we wanna be. And we do that every week by having some great conversations to delve deeper into what it means to be a dad, but also we get to learn from other dads in the journeys that they've been on to be able to help them to be the dads that they've become. And this week we've got another great guest on the show. You might remember that we had a one of our past guests, Sarah McConachie, was on the show just recently talking about her new book that is out called Work Hard, Parent Hard. And she's got books for dads and moms. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:23]: And we talked about her book for dads. And from talking to her, I got an opportunity to be able to get connected with some of the dads that she connected with in her book. And today we've got one of those dads with us. Doug Veal is with us, and he's a father of 2 sons. And he's going to talk a little bit about some of his own journey, not only with his 2 sons, some of the journey that he went on to go from working. And I'm not going to share too much yet because we're going to be talking about what he did, but working in the police force to becoming a stay at home dad and working with his dad, taking advantage of time to be there for his kids and and really delving a little bit deeper on that. So I'm really excited to have him on. Doug, thanks so much for being here today. Doug Veal [00:02:06]: Yeah. Thank you for having me. I'm really excited. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:08]: I'm excited to have you here as well. And first and foremost, I love being able to turn the clock back in time. So I wanna go back a couple of years, and I wanna turn the clock back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father. What was going through your head? Doug Veal [00:02:24]: I've always wanted to be a dad. I was really, really keen, but I wanted to make sure that we were set up in the best position we could be. And that said, we weren't really planning to have kids as early as we did, and I think it was about 6 months after we got married, to be honest. And it was, yeah, just absolute excitement, and then just that moment of going, oh, okay. Now the things are getting serious. Now we need to plan. So it's a pivotal moment, and it was a case of, alright. How do we well, what do we go from here? So I knew that the impact that it was gonna have on my wife and I was gonna be slightly more complicated than just, that overwhelming joy and excitement because my wife had a heart condition, so we needed to look at how that was gonna impact her health and, what that would mean. Doug Veal [00:03:12]: I think it's the common thing would be, yeah, we had a lot of excitement and a lot of nervousness to go, okay, what happens next? And how do we bring that into our lives? Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:20]: Now you just brought up, one of the things that I I know that you dealt with very early on and not only through the pregnancy, but into the birth of your first child, which was that your wife did have some health challenges. She had a heart condition and had to have some significant heart surgery after the birth of your first child. So as a part of that, I know that you had to do some pivoting. You had been working as a police officer for many years, doing work with your government as well. Just very involved in the work that you had done in your career. Talk to me about first and foremost, so at the birth of your child and the health issues of your wife, I know that you had to take a more supportive role during your wife's health challenges. And how did that impact your approach to parenting and work life balance? Doug Veal [00:04:10]: On the lead up, so when Edison was born, he's my my first son. And when he was born, I knew that I'll be taking the time off. I knew that my work was especially replacing the benefits that I had access to allowed me to take that time off, and I took 3 months off. There were some interesting conversations with some detective senior sergeants. At the time, I was working as a detective investigator doing money laundering investigations at state crime level and then moved into corruption invest in a corruption task force. And the discussions initially to take that time off were quite challenging. I was talking to a quite seasoned and, I'd say, old school detective who hadn't really understood the support mechanisms that we like to try and enjoy at the moment. And I'm I'm really glad that we do have access to things such as parental leave. Doug Veal [00:05:02]: And I'm really glad that we've got access to things like parental leave, and we've got those supports and that the decision making for those to access that leave isn't to your immediate supervisor or to your district. It goes beyond that. It's on a more of a government level because being under that umbrella of a government employee. I think it was access or the pivot. So when Edison came along, I was going to be playing a a large role. I took took that time. It was time that I knew that I would like, but it was also time knowing that my wife had a caesarean section. There was some further support that was needed. Doug Veal [00:05:41]: So I really cherish that the month after Edison was born, being able to offer that support to be able to get that really good contact and to get to know my son and actually will rewind a little bit immediately after he was born. Well, the birth itself was quite an interesting birth. I think we had 27 people in the room for a cesarean section, which was quite a dramatic affair. So we had the normal surgery team. We had NICU people because Edison was slightly premature because there was some complications, and then we had a full cardio surgery team on standby to have given a 30% chance that my wife would have a cardiac event immediately following the delivery. So Edison was born, cried, and it was the best thing I'd ever heard, followed by the most scared I've ever been because now came the danger period. So after delivery, Edison went to the NICU and my wife, Nicola, went to the ICU. And I was in an interesting position I hadn't really planned for because do I walk one way or do I go the other way? Do I go to where my wife was or do I go to where my new child was? And I'm not gonna say we're trying no. Doug Veal [00:06:55]: I went I went, to where my son was and making sure that I could jog between the 2 because they were all housed in the same hospital. So that really cemented to me that I needed to take that time to make sure that us as a family unit, we're gonna be having the healing that we needed to be able to get through the next stages. So after 3 months, I did go back to work. And then knowing that after a few months, Nicola would need to have that heart surgery. So I ended up having open heart surgery. Again, that put me in a position of having an extended period of leave. And then almost it was 6 months to the day after the heart surgery, we fell pregnant with our second son, Terrence. That's quite funny. Doug Veal [00:07:38]: I can pinpoint the exact moment. One of them we found out and second of when the dirty deed happened because I was in between army training blocks, and I only came home for a weekend, which is quite an interesting little time peg, to be honest. But it's been quite the journey on the health front and the children front. But as far as making the decision or my decision to to leave placing, there was a few things that had occurred throughout the first pregnancy that I was slightly uncomfortable with as far as decision making and my ability to be able to invest what I normally do, which would be about 60 to 80 hour week because there's exactly what we're doing now. Part of the investigations were overseas. It was a case of you can't let off on the tempo when you're fully involved in an investigation. I wasn't in a position that I wanted to continue doing that. It was a choice that I made to take a step back. Doug Veal [00:08:36]: It's not something that I could've continued down that path in my current career choice. So I'm just saying I'd have to take my foot off the gas on the detective front. My transition to back to uniform. I was promoted after my leave, which was quite good. It was saying that was quite important to me knowing that I could access those entitlements and then that not having a lasting impact on my career after being warned by my detective senior sergeant that it would have an impact. It was quite good that it wasn't the case. However, a 3 panel roster is unforgiving for anyone else out in the law enforcement community and just shift work generally. Knowing that I did have weeks when my boys were quite young not seeing them, because we would have a, you know, starting a shift at 4 PM and then coming home at 2 o'clock to sleep until 10. Doug Veal [00:09:28]: It's not really a family friendly roster. So there was too much impetus on my career at the time, and that needed to change. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:36]: I appreciate you sharing that. Now, one of the things you just talked about was the fact that, you know, as a police officer, there's a culture, there's a expectation in regards to the work that you're required to do and probably some old school mentality versus new school mentality as it comes to thinking about parenting and being present in your kids' lives. You've mentioned the fact that you took some extended parental leave as you were a police officer, and that might not have been the norm at the time in regards to what you were doing. What motivated you to prioritize family time and to set your career on the back seat for yourself as you were focusing and putting the effort on your family versus the career at the time? Doug Veal [00:10:28]: Yeah. And I think this gets to the heart of the issue of of that balance. I've always had quite strong role models. So I looked at how my father was and the parts that I wanted to emulate and then the parts that I didn't wanna emulate, knowing that he's human like everyone. There's there's part, and he was a different situation. But looking at how I could shape my situation and knowing I had access to those lives, but also knowing that I get to shape the reality for my children. Parents have such a large influence about especially early on in what you can expose your kids to, how you can show value, how you can demonstrate those or model behaviors. That you know that your 2 year old, your 3 year old, your 5 year old's gonna emulate. Doug Veal [00:11:14]: So really wanting to set that strong role model and give them a balanced perspective. It's not about just being a champion or being an ideal or just a figure. So I look at who I've looked up to and which leaders and things that I've gone, oh, I wanna be like that person, and then started to really look down and go, well, I like them for 1 attribute or 2 attributes or a behavior, not across a set of behaviors. So I really knew that I needed to balance out and not just be one one figure. So and I think a turning point came to me, and it was an interesting one. I think it hit quite hard. So I got my army photos, and I've got my policing photos, and some parts where I've been at training, and some parts where I've done some other tactical training. And boys being boys, fascinated with guns. Doug Veal [00:12:08]: And then I had my 3 year old come up to me and ask me, basically, oh, so you're a policeman. You shoot people. And I was like, oh, this is a very difficult conversation, knowing that it's a touchy subject. And I'm not gonna go too much into that subject in this podcast. However, it was something that made me reflect and go, I need to really broaden the exposure or or how I present and to set that example for my children. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:35]: Now I know that in what you wrote in Sarah's book, you talked about the importance for you to access support through that journey for yourself being away from work, but also being present at home. Can you talk to me about the support services that you did take advantage of? I know you talked in your writing about employment assistant programs. How did seeking professional help contribute to your well-being during those stressful times that you were having, whether it be at work or at home? Doug Veal [00:13:09]: I've used the employee assistance program a number of times, and when I was able to engage it during the stress that we felt over the, pregnancy and through early childhood, it was a a huge benefit. It's like that I was able to go with Nicola and talk through some of the issues and talk through some of the difficulties that we're facing and trying to really put it in perspective. So looking at larger health concerns, we had a period where we bounced from crisis to crisis and where we actually struggled wasn't in the crisis times. It was in the periods of slightly less crisis because the priorities weren't quite as clear, yet there was still an enormous amount of things to be done. So accessing that support was really helpful in setting those priorities, talking through some things, and then getting beyond the immediate with some of the future planning. Another really good support that we've got, and I'm not sure if it's as prevalent in the US as it is in Australia. We've got dads groups, which are normally a Facebook group and you meet up at a park and it really grounds the fatherhood experience. You look at it and you go, oh, and it takes the edge off of what, yeah, the larger issues because you find out that there's 15, 20 different ways to deal with the same thing. Doug Veal [00:14:28]: For an example, Edison had clubfoot when he was born, and that was such an interesting experience, especially when I was I was taking that time off from work. I'll be taking Edison around the shops, And I'll get people stuff and go, oh, such a good dad and things of that nature. And he was on in a cast and things at that time, which was an interesting experience. And then I'll go out with my wife, and we'll get it just wasn't the same experience for her. It was always questions about how he broke his leg. And it's like, he hasn't broken his leg. So it was concerns about parenting so much more with my wife. And when I was out there, it was a conversation piece. Doug Veal [00:15:09]: So there was nothing but praise, which I found quite odd. Not saying take advantage and have some interesting conversations and enjoy it, but there was a big difference in the way that even saying it as small as going to the shops, the impact that that had. So talking through parts of that. And also I ended up joining a mother's group because I was the primary carer when Edison came. And I was sharing some experiences because my family had fostered for a large period of time. So I've always had kids in the house and quite young kids, which set me up a little bit, quite well for dealing with my kids. However, it's a completely different experience. I think we ended up in the mid nineties as far as the children that came for short stay through our house. Doug Veal [00:15:56]: So we had a range of different children with different backgrounds and experiences that we've worked through. So, yeah, quite interest. So back to the mother's group. So we were talking and we're sharing some experiences, and I could see that there were some people in the group that were getting quite fatigued and their resilience was quite down. And that was one of the huge benefits that we had with both of us being off work at the time or both of us being able to take some time off is that we could really get into some shift work and that wasn't a stranger for me. So I didn't mind doing some night shifts every so often. So going through the mother's grief and just trying to bring a bit of a calming influence of, yes, it will pass. There's a limited amount of things that the baby's going to be crying for and trying to bring something that I understand to be really quite an emotional experience down to, okay, hungry, wind, wet nappy. Doug Veal [00:16:49]: Like there's normally a finite amount of things that can be checked and monitored so we can, yeah, hopefully stop the crying for a bit and give you that 4 hour window of a little bit of sleep. It all changes after the second one, which I'm sure that your listeners are aware. Sleep when the baby sleeps is really good advice until you got 2, and then it's when it's just a challenge. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:11]: Yeah. Especially in those early years, you definitely go through that zombie period where you don't know what ends up and you're going on so little sleep. And and when I talk to people that are like, oh, my kids slept all the time. And I'm like, oh, I wish that I would had been the case. Because that's not always the case. Doug Veal [00:17:27]: No. No. It's not. And, yeah, some people, they need to know it's normal and it does end. It does end. But, yes, I remember there was a period, I think it was about the 4 month mark with Terrence, my second son. Well, I didn't want to go to bed. I knew that as soon as I go to bed, it's just going to be interrupted. Doug Veal [00:17:45]: I'd rather push through. And it was really challenging for about a month or 2 months. That period of sleep progression that was unfortunately teed up with, I think, with potty training with Edison. So there was just a lot of things going on, a lot of washing and not much sleep. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:01]: Now I know one of the things that you and especially regarding family time. For you, how do you ensure that your work commitments don't encroach upon those boundaries? Doug Veal [00:18:20]: Well, I'm lucky enough at the moment. So I'm currently an assistant director working for a federal agency. So most of the people who I supervise so the eastern states shut down. They're 3 hours ahead. So I've got a great flexibility in how I set my work schedule up, which is really quite handy. But with my boundaries, I really look to how I can maximize my interaction time with with my kids. So after work is kids' time. So you'll rarely find me on the phone after 5 o'clock my time. Doug Veal [00:18:53]: If the sun's out, we're going to the park. If it's good weather, we're outside. If it's not great weather, we've got a I don't know how many of your listeners are gonna be Bluey fans, but we've got that big green shed hammer barn, which is called Bunnings. They've actually got a playground in them. So we'll go to Bunnings for a bit. So school time, family time. Weekends, it's gonna be fishing, camping, going on adventures, taking the 4 wheel drive out. And I don't expect sleep ins, to be quite brutally honest. Doug Veal [00:19:23]: So it's a thing of the past. I was half when I wrote my chapter, I was happy with 1 every week, but like I'm just gonna say, if I'm not watching the sunrise or if I'm in bed after 6, then there's probably something wrong. No. It's good. I've got 2 young boys who are eager to start the day, and I'm eager to start it with them. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:42]: That's amazing. Now I know that one of the things that you wrote about too, and some of this goes back down to what you said earlier that you were working 60 to 80 hours a week. Your job was taking you to many different places. But I know travel also seemed to be a recurring theme in your life. How would you say that your global experiences influence your parenting approach and your child's upbringing? Doug Veal [00:20:08]: I've really enjoyed traveling. I've been lucky enough to get out and about. I've done 6 out of the 7 continents for a month or more. COVID kind of put a really quite a big dampener on international travel. So when the restrictions ended, I jumped at the opportunity to take my boys and go to London to visit their uncle or my brother. So we went off to London. So there's a direct flight from Perth to London. It's a 17 hour flight, and I think I'm just gonna rename that the challenge. Doug Veal [00:20:43]: I think it was the better of 2 evils to be quite fair. I don't think a 8 hour flight and then a stopover and then another 10 hour flight or 12 hour flight would have really been any easier. But I'm set on giving my kids a series of experiences that's gonna round them out quite well. There's 7,000,000,000 people in the world. No one's got it completely right. We can learn by, well, one, getting out into our neighborhood, but then going beyond our neighborhood and looking for those different experiences and meeting different people. Yeah. London was a really interesting experience. Doug Veal [00:21:16]: They're not set up for Australian sized prams over in the UK. So, yeah, the footpaths aren't pram friendly. So my wife joined me for the first couple of weeks and then took a nice relaxing flight home. I soloed outed over in, yeah, a very, very busy city for a few weeks after that and tried to really give them the experience. I think it was more for me. I'm satisfied that it's more for me going to museums and galleries, but some really good photos. And even when they've had enough, I'll take a photo. I've got a really, really good one of Terrence in front of Van Gogh's Sunflowers where he's decided that he doesn't wanna play anymore at the National Gallery in London. Doug Veal [00:22:00]: And, yeah, it takes a while to get out of those places. And especially when the the more quiet it is, I don't know, they seem to hide the exits. We did the same in the National Library trying to get our escape route. But then slowly after we got some good experiences, we hit the parks. We hit the parks pretty hard. The boys love slides. So, yeah, from everywhere, from Axbridge to London Bridge, I think we've done every single one of those packs. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:26]: Very fun. Now, I guess, as we finish up today, what advice would you give to fathers who are similarly navigating the complexities of career advancement while at the same time trying to strive to be that actively engaged dad that they wanna be. Doug Veal [00:22:46]: Well, I know that I'm no expert have what you would like to do and the impact that that's gonna have. You get one run at it, so I would choose the things that last. So and that's one of the reasons that I've, in my balance, I'm probably tilted slightly more to the family side. I love my career. I'm quite particular in the steps that I take. However, I know that I'm a dad first, and that's really quite a large change. Having always been a police officer. I've been that for over a decade, having that as a large personality, trait to making that shift, especially when my kids came along. Doug Veal [00:23:32]: Life's full of choices. Some have much larger impacts and impacts that you're not aware of. And that's forefront in my mind when I'm looking at how I'm raising kids. But it's one of those thing that it's a privilege. It's at times overwhelming, but it's an adventure. So there's gonna be some great bits, some funny bits, some sad bits, scary bits, but some brilliant moments. So lean into it and enjoy the ride. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:02]: Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready? Yep. In one word, what is fatherhood? Doug Veal [00:24:11]: Adventure. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:12]: When was the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father? Doug Veal [00:24:16]: That would have been about oh, it was last week. Edison fur oh, so he's going to school, 1st year in school, and he got a merit certificate in the 1st assembly for respect. So I was, yeah, a real proud dad moment. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:33]: Now I know your kids are young right now, but if I was to talk to them, how would they describe you as a dad? Doug Veal [00:24:40]: Depends on what we were doing immediately before. I think Edison would describe me as fun, and he would describe me as always wanting to give it a go. There's not too many projects that we haven't tried. We definitely take on some projects and give it a red hot crack. So, yeah, I'm gonna stick with give it a go. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:01]: And as you think 10 years down the road, what do you want them to say then? Doug Veal [00:25:05]: Available. If it was one word, they'd be available. Looked at different ways and behaviors that I'm gonna try or that I've brought in and values that I have about getting involved in community and service, and that's not military service. It's community service. So one of the ways I'm doing it at the moment is as a volunteer firefighter. Yeah. I find that I want to be able to impart those things. However, the one thing that I would like to resonate with them is availability. Doug Veal [00:25:34]: If they need me, I'm gonna be there. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:37]: Who inspires you to be a better dad? Doug Veal [00:25:38]: The cliche is my dad. So to a large part, it's that, but they do. So it's the dichotomy. It's they do because they are an absolute ball of potential, and their future future is not written. And it's my job to be able to assist, shape that. I can't control it. I can't do it all, But I'm gonna give it a really red hot crack in making sure that we get the best results we can. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:05]: And as we and finally, what's one piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad? Doug Veal [00:26:11]: Patient. You shouldn't be able to be wound up by your 3 year old or 5 year old or probably even your 10 year old. You're gonna get wound up by your 16 year old, but but I think that's a slightly different different area. But, yeah, patience. The problem isn't the problem. It's how we interact with the problem. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:29]: Well, Doug, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey today. If people wanna read more about you in Sarah's book or find more about you, where should they go? Doug Veal [00:26:40]: Yeah. So I can go to workhardparenthard.com.au. You can find the books there. We've touched on some really cool things in this, but there's a fair few more things that we can you can read about. And there's, yeah, tons more people adding their experience to it. So, yeah, it's it's quite an exciting venture. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:59]: Well, Doug, thank you for being here, and I appreciate you sharing your journey, and I wish you all the best. Doug Veal [00:27:06]: Excellent. Thank you very much. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:07]: If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the fatherhood insider. The insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together.org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the Dads with Daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with Daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week, all geared to helping you raise strong empowered daughters and be the best dad that you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:05]: We're all in the same boat, and it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your a game. Because those kids are growing fast, the time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and musclemen. Get out and beat the world to them. Dad you can be.

Recognizing Dads' Role in Raising Daughters: Building Bonds and Nurturing Independence With Sarah Maconachie

involved nicu account executives working dads

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2024 28:31

Fatherhood and Active Participation In this week's Dads with Daughters podcast we got to speak with Sarah Maconachie, a mindset coach and author, the focus was on the importance of active fatherhood in raising empowered daughters. In our conversation, Sarah emphasized the need for dads to be actively involved in their daughters' lives and the significance of being present, supportive, and open in their journey towards raising independent and strong women. Sarah shared her experiences and insights from her own upbringing and her work in advocating for equal parenting roles. Her perspectives shed light on the transformative power of involved fatherhood and the impact it can have on daughters' development. Challenging Stereotypes and Biases Sarah Maconachie's experiences and the stories she shared in her book, "Working Dads and Balancing Acts," challenge traditional stereotypes and biases related to parenting roles. Her emphasis on breaking norms that confine fathers to being solely providers and not nurturing caregivers is a powerful message for dads and their involvement in their daughters' lives. It serves as a reminder that stereotypes and gender biases should not dictate the roles that fathers play in their children's lives. The Impact of an Involved Father One of the key takeaways from Sarah's insights is the immense impact of an involved father in a child's life. She highlighted the emotional support, presence, and active participation of her own father, emphasizing how it shaped her and her sisters, propelling them toward successful and fulfilling lives. This perspective underscores the pivotal role fathers play in instilling confidence, self-esteem, and strength in their daughters. It also reflects the idea that fatherhood goes beyond providing financial stability and encompasses emotional, mental, and social support crucial for their daughters' growth. Encouraging Open Communication Sarah's recollections of her father being a pillar of support during emotional upheavals and difficult phases is a testament to the significance of open communication within the parent-child relationship. Her father's approachability and willingness to engage with his daughters on a personal level created a secure environment for them to express their emotions and seek guidance. This highlights the importance of open dialogues and nurturing an environment where daughters feel comfortable confiding in their fathers. It's an essential aspect of fatherhood that fosters trust and empowers daughters to overcome challenges and become resilient individuals. Shifting the Paradigm The insightful conversation between Dr. Christopher Lewis and Sarah Maconachie outlined the need to challenge the existing societal norms and inspire a shift in the paradigm of fatherhood. Sarah's determination to make a change in the space of working parents and advocating for equal parenting roles stands as a beacon for shifting the traditional perceptions of parenting. Her work and dedication are geared towards creating a world where fathers are equally recognized as nurturing caregivers, capable of fostering their daughters' dreams, ambitions, and well-being. As you absorb Sarah's narrative, it becomes evident that empowering dads to be present, engaged, and supportive in their daughters' lives is a critical factor in building a generation of empowered women. Sarah's encouragement for dads to prioritize spending time with their children reinforces the idea that every moment invested in their daughters' lives profoundly impacts their growth and development. In this episode I found that Sarah Maconachie's insights brought to light the necessity of active fatherhood in shaping strong, independent women. Her work not only encourages dads to be present, nurturing, and communicative but also challenges societal norms, promoting gender equality in parenting roles. The takeaways from the podcast serve as a compelling call to action for dads to actively engage in their daughters' lives, fostering an environment where girls can thrive and reach their full potential. TRANSCRIPT Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, I love being on this journey that you and I are both on to find ways to be able to be the best dads that we can be, to raise our daughters to be those strong, independent women that we want them to be. And I know, you know, it's not always easy. It there's not Oh, there's going to be bumps in the road. There's going to be times where you are going to hit your head up against the wall, and you're gonna say, oh, my gosh. There has to be a better way. And that's why this podcast is here is to give you resources, allow for you to meet other people, learn from other people, and gain some insights into the journey that they are on as parents, but also learn from them in regards to the journey that they're on in raising daughters or in finding other resources that are out there that can help you to do just that. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:20]: Every week, I love being able to bring you different guests, different people that have different things that they can share with you. Sometimes it's mom, sometimes it's dads. You know, there's people from across lots of different spectrums. And I am so happy that you come back every week and take a listen in to learn to be a little vulnerable and be willing to open yourself up to learning as well. This week, we've got another great guest with us. Sarah McConachie is with us today. And Sarah is a mindset coach for parents. She is an author. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:55]: She has a brand new book that we're gonna be talking about called Working Dads and Balancing Acts. And don't all of us sometimes feel like we're balancing stuff and trying to work day to day and and trying to balance this thing called fatherhood. And when I saw that she had written this book, I definitely wanted to have her on to be able to talk not only about the book, but about her own journey in being a mother to a daughter as well and to kids to be able to bring that perspective in as well. Sarah, thanks so much for joining us today. Sarah Maconachie [00:02:27]: Hi. And thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited to be on here. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:31]: I'm really excited to have you on as well. You know, one of the things that I would love to do before we even jump into the concept of this book that you wrote. So you are a mother of 2 girls and you're a female yourself. I know what it's like to raise daughters myself and what it was like as a father. But for you jumping in to being a mother of daughter, what was going through your head? And I know your oldest is a daughter, so that was your first. Talk to me about that journey for you. And what did you have to do to either prepare yourself to be a mother to a daughter, or what were the surprises that came with it that you didn't expect? Sarah Maconachie [00:03:06]: That's a really good question. I was very excited to have a daughter. I'm one of 3 girls and I had a great upbringing and I love my sisters. And so I was excited to have a girl because I was excited to potentially have what I had when I was growing up. And I think as a female as well, I'm a very determined lady, as are my sisters. All 3 of us have really done very well in life. We've got really good careers, and I'm a bit of a feminist from that perspective. I love gender equality, and I was quite excited to raise a strong, powerful girl. Sarah Maconachie [00:03:44]: I have to say that really excited me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:47]: So talk to me a little bit about your own father. And you said you had a great upbringing. And you and your sisters definitely were given some things to help you to spread your wings, to be able to become the people that you are today. What did your father do specifically that you feel helped to pave the way for you to become the person that you are today? Sarah Maconachie [00:04:09]: The biggest thing, he was present. He was very present. He absolutely adores us all. He absolutely adores his 3 girls. He's a very blokey bloke. My dad. He's a sportsman. He played rugby, golf, squash. Sarah Maconachie [00:04:24]: You name it. He played it. So for him, I think he always wanted boys because the natural, you know, you want the sport, you want this and then the other. And he had 3 girls and it was probably the best thing for him. We all love something that he relates to, so he's got one that loves rugby, and he watches rugby with her. My other sister and I did lots of athletics and did lots of sport ourselves. So he got to do that with us. And the most important thing for him, though, was he was there. Sarah Maconachie [00:04:52]: He was a teacher, so he was at home at dinner time. And my memories of growing up were of us altogether. My dad was very, very present and he was just as involved as my mum was. And he supported us a lot when we went through breakups, boyfriends, friends, this, that and the other. It was actually our dad that we went to because he's a very soft person in that respect, and he was really lovely and really approachable from those emotional rollercoasters that we went on. He was really good at dealing with it. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:25]: So talk to me a little bit about you said that when those big emotional times came, you went to your father. And that's not always the case in every in every situation and every family dynamic. So what was it that your dad did to allow for you to feel that he was the person that you could go to when those things came up that opened that door for communication, for dialogue, for you to feel safe to go To him in those moments of need, Sarah Maconachie [00:05:57]: just always, he would always bring it up with us. I mean, mom would know what was going on because moms know everything and she would obviously talk to my dad and then he would come to us and say, this is happening. He'd give us a big hug and he would just tell us that everything would be okay. And it's just a phase in our life and that we have to go through these things. And he was just really caring and really supportive. And he would come to us. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:24]: Now from all of this work that your father did in helping you and your sisters to become who you are today, I'm sure that as you grew and flew out of the nest, you and I talked before this, you you've been a world traveler and you have really explored. So talk to me about you leave England, you go to the United States, you end up in Australia. What's the one piece of advice that he gave you that you hold on to today that you look back on and say that was so meaningful? Sarah Maconachie [00:06:59]: The biggest thing was for me, and it's not actually that long ago, moving to Australia. Obviously my mom very upset because I was actually really close. Well, I still am. I've always been very, very close to my mum. I was always the mommy's girl and I'm the one that flew the nest. So she's always struggled with it, understandably. And they came to Australia when I had first met my husband, I think. And I think they could finally see that I was settled, and I've met a lovely man. Sarah Maconachie [00:07:30]: And I think that was a big factor for them. And my dad just loved it here. He absolutely loved it. And I just remember having a chat with him over a few drinks where all the good conversations happen, and he said, I'm just so happy that you're happy. And as long as you're happy, it doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing. I just can see the happiness in you. And for me, that's all I need. And that's always stuck with me because it's true and that's what I would want for my children. Sarah Maconachie [00:07:58]: You just want them to be happy. And although it sacrifices my parents' happiness with me being this far away to a degree, I think that, you know, my dad's able to really remove himself to a degree and be like, I just want you to be happy. And that's all that matters. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:14]: Now earlier today, you talked about that you see yourself as a feminist. You're raising daughters now. Talk to me about what did your dad do to support that feminism that you have within yourself? But also, what are you doing to now encourage your own kids? And they're young, and maybe you're not doing that much yet. But what do you hope to do as they get older to inspire that same sense of feminism in them as they get older? Sarah Maconachie [00:08:42]: Look, as I sort of outlined, both of my parents were always very supportive of whatever we wanted to do. I mean, I'm a big dreamer and my mum and dad will often roll their eyes at me and be like, here we go again. But I always achieve what I've say, what I've said I'm going to go out and do. So now the eye rolling has gone down a little bit. But with all 3 of us, they were just supportive of our hopes and dreams. They, you know, encouraged us to go to university. They encouraged us to do what we wanted to do. That was gonna whatever was gonna make us happy. Sarah Maconachie [00:09:13]: They encouraged us to do it, And they gave us good boundaries to make sure we stayed on the straight and narrow. And they both just really raised us to follow our dreams and to do what it was that we wanted to do to make us happy. I think that's the same for me. It's about being able to really express those personality traits that are hard in children, but actually are going to be magical when they're adults. And I notice this with my own daughter, My eldest in particular is very defiant. She really likes to think she rules the roost in this house. And to be honest, she probably does, But she also goes through the city and says, mom, when I grow up, I want to work at the on the top floor of the biggest building. And I'm like, you know what, girl, you go for it. Sarah Maconachie [00:10:00]: And she's very determined. She's going to win her kindy carnival. She is only getting A's. She asked me recently, what happens when you get an f? I don't even know where she's got this from. And I was like, well, you know, it doesn't matter. And she was like, it won't matter anyway, mom, because I'll only get As. She's 4. The determination of this child is just outrageous. Sarah Maconachie [00:10:21]: But, you know, instead of trying to squash that, I try and manage her expectations. But I also am like, you know what? If you've got the determination to go out and get it, then go and get it. I'm not gonna squash that because it's a really great trait to have. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:36]: Now I mentioned the fact that you have a new book that's out called Working Dads and Balancing Acts, and you have another book that called Working Mothers Inspiring Others, but specifically about this book about fathers. And I guess first and foremost, I I love to get the origin stories. As an author myself, I know how much time and effort and passion have to go into the creation of these books. And it takes a lot of time and effort and planning and passion to be able to get to that finish line so that you can get that out into the world. What was it about this topic that really inspired you to want to write this and get this out into the world? Sarah Maconachie [00:11:23]: I need to try not to ramble on for too long when I answer this because it comes from a big piece. So the way that I was raised, as I said, I was raised in a very equal house. And I think that even for my generation, that's quite rare. I remember having a conversation with my sister. I started blogging and writing a lot around working parents, but I wrote a lot about dads as well as moms because I just think that there's so much out there for mothers, but there's just not enough for dads. And there's there's not really a voice for dads, I felt, that really depicted the change in society and the way that things are changing. So I was having this conversation with my sister and I was like, oh, it's really funny that all 3 of hers are in very equal relationships. Our husbands are very involved with our children. Sarah Maconachie [00:12:11]: It's very fiftyfifty in the way that we parent. And in studying mindset, it really does go back to that belief system and how you're raised and that programs, how you then raise your own children and the way that you sort of deliver your own life is very much to do with the environment that you are raising yourself. So all 3 of us have really replicated the way that we were raised, which is amazing. And so we were kind of talking about it and I was like, but it just seems so easy that we are so equal in our household, in our relationship. But I also feel like that's because we're such strong females. We communicate what it is that we need our husbands to do as husbands and as fathers. And that communication piece and that learning piece really has enabled us to foster those relationships and that equality for our own children as well. So it kind of evolved from that, and that way of thinking that I was thinking more and more about dad, particularly in the workplace. Sarah Maconachie [00:13:18]: I'm very passionate about working as a mum and being able to create that balance. And I went through a process that I think a lot of mums do go through where I took a job that was really junior and about a quarter of what I'd previously been earning so that I could have flexibility to be able to look after my children as well as have a career. And as I went through a mindset journey myself and I really regained my own purpose, my own worth, and what it is that I needed for me, I realized how much that actually occurs, especially in women. But to solve the problem with that, there needs to be also work for dad. It needs to be a double edged sword. You can't just say, here you go, women are mothers in the workplace. Here's all the things for you, flexible working, whatever it is that you need. What are you also doing for dads for them to be able to take that load, which many dads actually want to do anyway, and to be able to really create that balance so that women can be doing that working and parenting, but so can dads. Sarah Maconachie [00:14:28]: So it really stemmed from that view, and I just decided to write these books. It just came out of nowhere to be honest, and I was like, I just want stories from mums and dads of their journeys that will help to support and provide advice and guidance for other moms and dads out there that want to work and have that balance of being a parent as well. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:53]: Now I know in the book you talk to fathers and you talk to a number of different fathers. Talk to me about some of the biggest takeaways as you were talking to them that you incorporated into the book that you hope that people are going to be taking out of reading the book itself? Sarah Maconachie [00:15:12]: Well, the chapters are directly from the dads themselves. So they have shared completely their own stories, which is amazing because it's different voices and it's completely their journeys, which I love. So there's a few things in there that are real takeaways for me. There's one who came who didn't have a father who came from a really difficult upbringing and his journey of trying to navigate fatherhood when he had no role model himself, is really incredible and really moving, but also he shares so much emotion around what he didn't share in terms of his own journey and how scared he was to become a dad because he just didn't know what that looked like and what that was as a role. So that was one real key aspects that I loved. Another one is a partner of a big law firm, and he shares a story which really, I had this conversation with him and it really sparked me wanting to write the dad's book. So he was telling me how his 2 boys he's a partner in a big law firm, so he would leave before the boys were up and was home after they went to bed in the week because he worked such long hours. And he was home for 2 consecutive days once and he was putting his boys, one of his younger boys, to bed, who was about 7 I believe at the at the time, and the boy was like what are you doing? Like why are you here? And he was like what do you mean? I'm your dad, I live here. Sarah Maconachie [00:16:41]: And he was like yeah but you don't. Like I know that you come and sleep with mum some in the week, but, like, you don't live here. I thought you just came at weekends. And he was like he cried. He was like, he's dagger to his heart and it made him realize the effects that this was having on his children. And he literally changed that day and made sure he didn't leave until the boys had gone to school in the morning. He made a change that the very next day and he's never stepped back. So there's that and there's, and then there's the stories of those, of dads that wanting to stay at home and have let their wives really thrive in their careers. Sarah Maconachie [00:17:23]: Like, there's such an eclectic mix of stories in there. It's it's just so inspiring to hear the different journeys and the challenges that different people face, but how they overcome it. And it's really, it's a reminder of how important it is to be present as a dad. There's a lot of older ish generation that didn't have paternity leave, that didn't take any paternity leave, and that look back and really regret that. So I think it's a really nice reminder that it's so important to be present because you do not get those years back. And that's really, for me, the crux of the of the book and the stories that are delivered is it's just so essential to be part of your children's lives and work and everything else comes second. So, you know, if you've got that choice, make it a good one. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:15]: So talk to me about, as you walked into the writing of this book, you talked to a lot of these fathers. Did you walk in with any preconceived notions that were shattered by what you heard and what was shared with you? Sarah Maconachie [00:18:29]: Not really. I think the journeys and the chapters and stories that have been shared were really as I ice age of, oh, well, you know, my wife does everything and, you know, that's fine, each their own. But it's really still apparent today and there's still a lot of work to be done, I think, in order to shift those stereotypes and biases of what dads and what fatherhood looks like. So for me, the book lived up to everything that I wanted from it. It's really created the stories, the journeys, and the challenges that I really wanted to highlight because it also has the flip side of regret or whatever that falls with those aspects of not prioritizing your family. So it delivers the right message, but it really fulfilled exactly what I wanted from it. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:28]: And as you end the writing of this specific book, are there other questions? Are there other things that came out at the end where you said, I need to delve into this more? Sarah Maconachie [00:19:40]: Oh, yeah. Well, look, it's really spurred my passion even more. So I was working in the mindset space for the last few years, but it's made me so determined to make a change in the space of working parents. So I'm now focusing I've created a program for working parents across workplaces. So it's for dads and moms, and it's really enabling them to create a mindset that allows them to have more balance, have purpose, to create all those aspects that we do lose a little bit when we become a parent because we naturally prioritize our children. But prioritizing our children is a given, but we have to look after ourselves because we are the role models of our children. So the better versions that we are of ourselves, the better versions that our children are. So the book has really spurred me to make a difference, to be honest. Sarah Maconachie [00:20:39]: So I am determined to get into every corporate organization that I can find for them to be implementing support for parents that are working, because I just think it's essential for the growth of our children and the next generation. We are raising the future of employees, so we need to be the best version of us so that we're raising what we want as the next generation. So it's made me very determined to make a change. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:09]: I know every country is a little bit different when it comes to looking at things like paternity leave and and allowing for equal access to that special time, especially when your children are first born. How are you having those conversations with businesses? And what do you say to fathers that are working in companies right now that are not supportive of that, of how they can advocate or try to start those conversations within their own companies. Sarah Maconachie [00:21:39]: Well, actually one of the chapters in my book is from the CEO of Clough, which is a big mining organization. And his name is Peter Bennett. And so I worked for Clough after I had my first daughter and I left because it was like a clock watch. They it was like you had to be at your desk till 4:30 and I had this horrendous guilt and I just needed to leave because I wanted to pick her up and blah blah blah. So I ended up leaving. And I've had this conversation with Peter because he's actually since this was, I mean, 3 years ago or whatever, but since then, he's actually been one of the leaders for gender equity and for implementing all these changes for paternity leave in Clough. So within the last 2 years, not one man had taken paternity leave in that organization ever, which I just think is crazy. So now he's up there and now 50% of men have taken paternity leave within the last 2 years and are taking longer extended leave to spend time with their families and things like this. Sarah Maconachie [00:22:47]: So there's actually an incredible uptake for this in WA in particular, and it's been really well driven. There's a organization, CEOs for Gender Equity, and they are driving all this change. And especially with regards to paternity leave and maternity leave and it just being leave. It doesn't matter whether you're the mum or the dad, all, benefits for employees are equalized and you take it as, as you please. So there's a lot of that going on in WA in particular, which is amazing, but there is still a long way to go with a lot of organisations as well. So my advice, if you were in that situation where you're in an organization that is not supporting it, I would go with evidence. I would go with the research that proves and shows how important it is for dads to be present within their children's lives, for them to bond with their children in those early days for the support that's needed for moms. Like, it's just crazy to me how some organizations don't offer that. Sarah Maconachie [00:23:54]: I had a c section and twins. If my husband hadn't had 6 weeks off, I do not know what I would have done. I needed him home. It wasn't an option. I had to have him there. So it's really about being able to be realistic about this and just have those open and honest conversations. And you know what? There's lots of organizations that are doing it. So if your company won't do it, look for jobs elsewhere because they don't deserve to have you as an employee, in my opinion, if they are not supporting you from a parenting perspective. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:28]: Now you just mentioned the fact that people should look for the research that shows the importance of fathers and the engagement of fathers. If a dad that's listening is saying, I don't know where to start, where should they start? Where should they start to find that information to be able to get that information to use to start having those conversations? Sarah Maconachie [00:24:49]: A lot of the fathering groups. So Fathering Together, the Fathering Project, which is across Australia, just Google it, and you'd be able to find a lot of research on their podcasts. There's so many resources out there for dads now. It's just about digging a little deep to make sure you get it. But fathering groups, for me, that's where I get a lot of my information from because they're just brilliant from that space and understanding what is happening in the market. It tends to be pretty well summarized, I always find. So fathering groups on LinkedIn or Facebook. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:24]: Sarai Patel Well, Sarah, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for the work that you're doing to be able to push fathers to think about things in a little bit different way. And if you've got one piece of advice that you wanna give to all dads, what would that advice be? Sarah Maconachie [00:25:37]: Spend time with your children. You don't get that time back, and it's precious time for you and for your children. I think that sometimes we believe that our children are more resilient than what they are at times and the love of their parents is literally all they need. So make sure you spend time with your kids. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:00]: Now if people wanna find out more about your books and other things that you're doing, where's the best place for them to go? Sarah Maconachie [00:26:06]: And you can find me on my website. It's usually a very good spot or on LinkedIn. So Sarah McConachie on LinkedIn or www.workhardparenthard.com.au is my website and all my programs and my books and all my blogs are on there as well. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:24]: Well, Sarah, it's been a pleasure having you here today for having you share your own journey as a mother, but also your journey in writing this book and getting this out into the world. And I wish you all the best. Sarah Maconachie [00:26:34]: Thank you so much. Thanks so much for having me. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:36]: The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together.org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week, all geared to helping you raise strong empowered daughters and be the best dad that you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:28]: We're all in the same boat, and it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your a game. Because those kids are growing fast, the time goes by just like a dynamite blast, calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and musclemen. Get out and beat the world to them. Be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:21]: You're the best dad you can be.

The Rise of The Involved Working Dad (ft. Alex Tunell)

Shifting Priorities

Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2024 27:20

We're switching it up and bringing on a working dad, my husband, Alex Tunell! Alex is an Account Executive at Benevity, which means we both work full-time, with no family nearby. This has been a massive learning experience for us, as we've tried our best to find a balance, and like many couples, it's been a struggle.We feel like we're in a good rhythm now, though. And we're excited to talk about it with you all!In this episode, we share...Our origin story, how we met, and how we became parents (including our NICU experience)How we reevaluate our year, and our relationship, and how we learn and growHow we balance friendships, hobbies, and workHow we set each other up for success when we need to rely on the other person

S6 E96: Advocating for Paid Parental Leave in your Workplace ft. Sherenne Simon

NICU Now Audio Support Series

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2024 35:38

Does your employer offer paid parental leave or are you struggling to find a game plan for how to care for your baby after NICU discharge while tending to your job responsibilities? Sherenne Simon, social impact expert, shares how she influenced major policy change in her workplace to accommodate NICU parents. Her book, Own Your Influence: An Unconventional Journey to Making an Impact at Work, hits shelves in November and can show you how to capitalize on your own power of influence to enact positive change.

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What Is a "Lead Dad" ...And Could I Be One? | Paul Sullivan on Fatherhood

Modern Dadhood

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2024 43:20

When you hear the phrase "Lead Dad," what does it make you think? A "stay at home" dad? A dad who prides himself on being the more involved parent? To Paul Sullivan, Founder of The Company of Dads, being a "Lead Dad" is much different... and many of us naturally fall into the category. Hear Paul discuss The Company of Dads' mission to inspire more men to be Lead Dads, and inspire families to experience their full potential. At the end, Marc shares a curious installment of "Did I Just Say That Out Loud?" Modern Dadhood Episode 98 opens with a brief catch-up between the guys before Adam shares about a video that recently crossed his feed about a group of dads who meet at a local elementary school to greet kids as they arrive for their school day. The video was shared by Paul Sullivan, Founder of the Company of Dads and father of three daughters between 6 and 14. Paul joins us to chat about his organization, its mission, and what it means to be a "Lead Dad." Topics of conversation include:• How did The Company of Dads come to be?• What is a Lead Dad?• By labeling oneself a Lead Dad, is it taking credit from the mom?• Average maternity & paternity leaves in the USA• Resources available to Lead Dads• And more!Stay tuned for an installment of Did I Just Say That Out Loud? featuring the newly 6-year-old Checket twins.LINKS:The Company of DadsThe Company of Dads (Instagram)Paul Sullivan (LinkedIn)Red Vault AudioSpencer AlbeeCaspar BabypantsStuffed AnimalModern Dadhood (website)MD (Instagram)MD (Facebook)MD (TikTok)

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S03:E04 - Redefining Success in a Portfolio Career with Lee Witherell

ai coaching parenting working moms redefining success career coaching working parents parental leave working mums portfolio career working dads

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2023 36:59 Transcription Available

What would you do if you were hit by multiple redundancies? My guest today, Lee Witherell, chose to turn this into an opportunity and carve out a portfolio career for himself. From data services to launching a fitness side hustle during the pandemic, Lee's journey is a shining example of resilience and adaptability. We get into the importance of being in control of your career, the need for collaboration, and the benefits of diversified income sources. We cover the role of AI in advertising, the shift in work models, and the necessity of empathy and flexibility in a portfolio career. As we navigate through these fascinating insights, Lee shares his perspective on how the working generation is adapting to this new career model. So, whether you're considering a shift to a portfolio career or looking for some professional inspiration, tune in for some actionable advice and thought-provoking perspectives from Lee's journey.Find out more about Lee:https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-witherell-4422293ABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

S03:E03 - The Rise of Portfolio Careers in a Changing Workplace with Sonam Taneja

coaching workplace work life balance career changes working moms working parents working mums sonam taneja working dads portfolio careers

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2023 38:21 Transcription Available

Do you ever wish you had more control over your career path? Wonder how to make the most of opportunities within your current organisation? Together with Sonam Taneja, a seasoned career and change coach, we delve into portfolio careers, unpacking how you can take the reins of your own career development. We also share practical ways organisations can nurture their internal talent marketplaces, offering employees unique opportunities such as shadowing senior leaders or tackling projects outside their usual duties. Sonam and I explore the progressive concept of kaleidoscope careers and the seismic shift in workplace dynamics. We examine the ways technology has reshaped our work lives and why a linear career path no longer fits the bill. Tune in and redefine your idea of a successful career.About Sonam:https://uk.linkedin.com/in/sonamtanejaE: sonam@mirrorspeakconsulting.comABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

S03: E02 - Rachel Schofield's Guide to Thriving in a Portfolio Career

guide coaching thriving work life balance career changes working moms schofield working parents working mums portfolio career working dads

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2023 29:52 Transcription Available

Ever wondered if it's possible to combine your diverse interests into a fulfilling career? That's exactly what I discuss with my guest, Rachel Schofield, a seasoned career coach and author of the Career Change Guide. We dive into the concept of portfolio careers, which offer the freedom to blend various facets of your personality and explore a spectrum of passions. Rachel imparts her wisdom on the benefits of these careers, such as increased autonomy and flexibility in scheduling. We highlight real-life examples of individuals who have successfully transitioned into portfolio careers, like a police officer who ventured into furniture designing and a graphic designer turned stone carver. We also tackle the challenges and opportunities one might encounter when transitioning to a portfolio career. From the identity shift involved in moving from an employed to freelance role, to the imposter syndrome that can creep in when learning new skills, we cover it all. Rachel emphasizes the importance of establishing a clear purpose for the transition and remaining focused on the desired outcomes. We wrap up the conversation exploring the power of small, incremental changes and share useful resources for individuals contemplating a career shift. Find out more about Rachel:The Career Change Guidehttps://www.rachelschofield.co.uk/www.linkedin.com/in/rachelschofieldABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

Busy Working Dad + FITNESS SUCCESS STORY- How Mark Hemmer REALLY DOES IT!

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2023 17:55

TO LEARN MORE: www.CrossFitEdwardsville.com www.Facebook.com/CrossFitEdwardsville TikTok: @crossfitedwardsville Instagram: @crossfitedwardsville Twitter: @cfedwardsville YouTube: CrossFit Edwardsville TO GET STARTED AT CFE: Book a No-Sweat Conversation with a coach, using this scheduler: https://crossfitedwardsville.com/intro/ You can also find the link to schedule on our website. While this show is educational & entertaining in nature, it does not replace or supplant professional medical guidance from your own physician. Before beginning any exercise or nutrition program, please first consult with your doctor.

WRAP UP: Main Topic: Effective Working Dads

5 Dads

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2023 12:44

This week wrap up is centered around how fathers could be an effective worker, dad and husband. The dads break down their thoughts in our main topic breakdown! We have a website! Come visit 4dadspodcast.com with any questions, links to social media and information about us! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/4dads/support --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/4dads/support

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S03: E01 - Rewriting Your Career Story with Claire Carroll

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Play Episode Play 45 sec Highlight Listen Later Oct 31, 2023 40:52 Transcription Available

Curious about making a meaningful career change? Join me in this episode as I host Claire Carroll, an executive and career coach who sheds light on portfolio careers.Claire illuminates the crucial role of personal values in career transitions, how societal expectations can shape our decisions, and the courage required in taking risks. Our discussion delves deeper into the concept of 'leaning out' versus 'leaning in', demonstrating how brave choices can lead to fulfilling rewards.Drawing from inspiring real-life accounts of individuals who have bravely switched careers to make a global impact, we highlight the importance of creating a personal narrative to stay focused amidst societal pressure and the fear of failure. We wrap up this discussion by providing practical tips to deal with the common stumbling blocks of career transitions - setting realistic goals, managing comparison, and overcoming impostor syndrome. We concentrate on the importance of appreciating 'done is better than perfect', focusing on your unique knowledge and expertise. Find out more about Claire:https://www.clairecarroll-coaching.com/www.linkedin.com/in/claireacarrollABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

Effective Working Dads

5 Dads

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2023 40:21

In today's age, what does it take to be an effective working dad? The 4 Dads discuss. Intro: 00:00 Struggle of the Week: 01:17 *NEW TOPIC - Quick Hitters!: 10:04 Main Topic: 26:41 Quote of the Day: 39:17 We're on YouTube! Come check us out on the 4 Dads Podcast channel. Also we're on instagram @4dadspodcast and finally launched our Website! 4dadspodcast.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/4dads/support

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Working Mom vs Working Dad: Navigating the challenges and joys of being working parents | EU 190

Empowered and Unapologetic

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2023 41:44

Do you and your partner both work while managing a home with kids? How do you both balance work and life as well as working on your marriage? What are the common issues working parents face and how can they overcome them together? In this podcast episode, I am joined by my Husband, Willie. We discuss working mom vs working dad and navigating the challenges and joys of being working parents Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Working Mom vs Working Dad: Navigating the challenges and joys of being working parents | EU 190

Empowered and Unapologetic

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2023 40:24

How do you both balance work and life as well as working on your marriage? The post Working Mom vs Working Dad: Navigating the challenges and joys of being working parents | EU 190 appeared first on Empowered and Unapologetic.

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17. I Am Not A Cat ft. Evan Kubitschek | Working Dads Series Episode 5

Pretty Funny Business

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2023 63:15

Dive right in to the next episode in our Working Dads series! Evan Kubitschek is a dad to 2 based in Raleigh, NC and one of EMMIE's newest consultants. Learn about his career in commercial lighting coming back to haunt him, what you do with a Philosophy degree, how he got started in Marketing Ops, his fear of the sun, our favorite television shows and Trader Joe's recommendations, and most importantly why Evan sought out freelancing as a way to bring more flexibility and balance to his life as a working dad. Stick around for the shared hermit crab trauma and money laundering conspiracy theories. See you soon! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/prettyfunnybusiness/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/prettyfunnybusiness/support

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#673: Full-time working dad using his spare time to build an amazing business on Amazon!

Silent Sales Machine Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2023 99:37

Today's brand new interview is with yet another student who is about six months into his Amazon, e-commerce business building journey using the ProvenAmazonCourse.com course as his guide. He's just had his first ever $3,000 sales day and he has some great lessons to share with us about the journey. We also just returned from our annual live event, (TheProvenConference.com has details) and he shares how impactful the event was for him and his business. He's also just signed up to be coached by one of the JimCockrumCoaching.com coaches, and he's super eager to continue to scale. He works full-time and has a beautiful family that he loves to spend time with, but in his spare time he's building something beautiful online! Watch this episode on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/3UABR6PSl3E Don't forget to check out sellerboard, our awesome sponsor - THE accurate profit analytics tool for Amazon sellers that helps you calculate your profit precisely accounting for all hidden fees and in real time. Use our link and get a TWO month free trial: https://SilentJim.com/numbers SilentSalesMachine.com - text the word “free” to 507-800-0090 to get a free copy of Jim's latest book about building multiple income streams online! Show note LINKS: https://PrepCenterNetwork.com Need a hand in prepping inventory? We have a list of all known Amazon seller prep centers worldwide. If you know of a prep center that's not listed, please let us know! https://TheProvenConference.com - Mark your calendar for May! Our LIVE event interest list is available. provenamazoncourse.com/100 - Our Proven Path to 100 ASIN's workshop that launches in SEPT 2023 featuring live interaction with Brian and Robin Joy Olson on site at our coaching warehouse in Salt Lake City Utah! Bqool - They use artificial intelligence to reprice and get your items in the Buy Box! Use Jim's exclusive Bqool Amazon repricer link: http://www.silentjim.com/repricer KICKSTART Bootcamp - Brand New to Amazon and REPLENS? All students of the provenamazoncourse.com course who've not yet made their first REPLENS sale will benefit greatly from this series of live (and recorded of course) zoom group sessions with a coach - it's only $39! Contact Support@SilentSalesMachine.com for details. My Silent Team Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/mysilentteam 100% FREE! Join 70,000 + Facebook members from around the world who are using the internet creatively every day to launch and grow multiple income streams through our exciting PROVEN strategies! There's no support community like this one anywhere else in the world! JimCockrumCoaching.com - Get a free session with a business consultant on our team at 1-800-994-1792 / 1-801-693-1688 or TEXT US at 385-284-7701 (US & Canada only for Text) ALL of our coaches are running very successful businesses of their own based on the models we teach here! We've been setting the standard for excellence in e-commerce and Amazon seller coaching since 2002 with over 7,000 students served! Hundreds of our successful, happy students have been interviewed on our podcast! ProvenAmazonCourse.com - the comprehensive course that contains ALL our Amazon training modules, recorded events and a steady stream of latest cutting edge training including of course the most popular starting point, the REPLENS selling model. The PAC is updated free for life! Our Online Sourcing course titled "OA Simplified": ProvenAmazonCourse.com/oasimplified - learn to deploy Tactical Arbitrage as a REPLENS hunting tool! This course is taught by two of our coaching who each recently had a $100K month using these same strategies! Included in PAC SilentJim.com/returns - Let someone else manage your Amazon returns! Today's Guest: Abel Jiminez

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#79: Paul Ready & Parisa Wright - eco-anxiety, a parent's view

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2023 49:37

What if becoming a parent could change how we view the climate crisis and motivate us to take meaningful action? Join me and my co-host Parisa Wright, along with our special guest, actor and parent Paul Ready, as we tackle eco-anxiety head-on, discussing the overwhelming emotions that can arise when confronting this important issue. From the 2018 school climate strikes to the everyday challenges we face as individuals and parents, we share our stories and struggles with trying to make a difference for the environment.Embarking on a journey towards a more sustainable lifestyle can be daunting, but don't worry - we've got you covered! Together, we'll explore practical steps you can take to reduce your carbon footprint and influence those around you. Learn how simple changes like reducing meat consumption, supporting local farms, and using public transport can make a significant impact. We're not perfect, but we're committed to doing our part, and we'll share our experiences along the way.Community-led environmental action is a powerful force for change, and we'll discuss how you can make a difference in your own circles of influence. From setting up green teams in schools to engaging communities through theatre and storytelling, we explore the power of conversation in normalising sustainable lifestyle changes. Tune in as we examine how you can use your unique skills to create an impact on the world around you, and how talking about the climate crisis can create a ripple effect, inspiring others to take action too.About Paul Ready:Paul is a British actor, known principally for his work on stage, but he has also appeared in television, radio and films. About Parisa Wright, Founder, CEO of pioneering sustainable living charity Greener & Cleaner:www.greenerandcleaner.co.uk https://www.facebook.com/groups/greenerandcleanerukABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

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#78: Wendy Welpton - helping you reclaim your movement

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Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2023 34:23

As a working parent, do you struggle to find the time and energy to stay active and maintain your physical health? Wendy Welpton, founder of Reclaim Movement and mum of three, joins me in sharing her enlightening journey of overcoming physical challenges and discovering the power of natural movement in daily life. Wendy's inspiring story of determination, resilience, and transformation will motivate you to embrace movement in your own life, even amidst the chaos of raising young children.We also discuss the significance of creating a culture of self-care and prioritising movement, especially during menopause. By educating our children and surrounding ourselves with supportive communities, we can navigate these life transitions with grace and strength. ABOUT THE GUEST - WENDY WELPTONWendy Welpton is the founder of Reclaim Movement. She coaches natural movement to individuals and small groups, in person and online in the Reclaim Movement membership. Sessions are aimed at improving mobility and strength by helping clients find the gaps in their current movement patterns, giving them ways to help fill those gaps. The aim is to help them embrace a movement-rich lifestyle and keep doing all the things they love as they age. CONNECT WITH THE GUESTLearn more on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, TikTok - @reclaim.movementEmail- wendy@reclaimmovement.co.ukABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

It's The Thinking Not The Drinking with Dr. Robb Kelly

Purpose Infused Brotherhood Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2023 64:02

It's The Thinking Not The Drinking with Dr. Robb KellyJohn and I are soooo incredibly excited to have the top addiction counselor on this week Dr. Robb Kelly!!! He is going to be discussing the topic of It's The Thinking Not The Drinking.We recorded this two weeks ago and my mind is still blown by this conversation. Check out just some of the topics we discussed and get ready to take notes and change your life!!This episode isn't just about alcohol and drug addiction it is about all addiction habits!!Our goal is to help working men be happier and healthier and this weeks episode will absolutely help you do that!!Episode Notes:Self SabotageNeuroplasticityBrain vs Behavior or ChoiceAlcoholic is born & drug addict is madeAddictive personality vs addictive habitsPower of your mind and repetition (good and bad)Prefrontal lobe answers first and as quick as possibleTop 3 Tools for you to overcome addictive habitsBio:Dr. Robb Kelly Has Over 20 Years Of Expertise In Helping People Just Like You Harness The Power Of Your Brain To Make Positive And Lasting Changes In Your Life And The Lives Of Those Around You. PhD, Psychology, Oxford University Trinity College, 1984PhD, Psychology/Behavioral Science, University of Southampton, 2013Nationally Certified Recovery Coach Level1 (NCRC-1)Somatic Experience Practitioner, Somatic Experience Trauma InstituteCertified NLP Practitioner, American Union of NLPCertified Life CoachCertified Brain Spotting PractitionerCertified International InterventionistPublished AuthorPresenter/SpeakerPodcast and Radio HostConnect with Dr. Robb:If you are someone who is in dire straights and know you need to change your addiction Dr. Robb wants you to call him directly for a 15 minute phone call that will change your life and if not he will send you $100. Call here - 214-600-0210https://robbkelly.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drrobbk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/drrobbkelly/?hl=enLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-addiction-doctor-07718133/__________________________Working Dads are you tired of being...❌ Exhausted all the time❌ Saying no to playing with your kids - a lot❌ Eating like shit and your dad belly getting bigger❌ Not being able to find the time to exercise, eat right, and feel fantastic?Are you ready to..✅ Rapidly increased your energy levelsWill allow you to be more productive at home and work✅ Say yes to any time your kids ask to playCreate better relationships with your kids & wife✅ Learn how to actually fuel your body the right wayFeel so much better and lose that dad belly✅ Become consistent with working out and moving your

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Culture Shift: Suffolk County Council

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Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2023 42:43 Transcription Available

In this final episode of the series, Elliott and I talk to Gita Banerji from Suffolk County Council about how organisations can still actively support parents without a formal staff network.Gita shares their great work on fertility leave, benchmarking and enhancing many of their policies.Find out more about Gita:https://www.linkedin.com/in/gita-banerji-22512832/Find out more about Elliott:https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/ABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

#77: Jane McKenna - helping us all be brilliant

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Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2023 40:39

Welcome to the Parent Equation podcast series, full of inspiring stories from working parents who are passionate about designing a life that works for them and their families rewarding career alongside a balanced family life. "We're all there with a similar mission to help women juggle careers and family, and I want to try and offer things as accessible as possible.""Whatever choice you're making in your career is, make it for yourself, because you understand why you're doing it…"ABOUT THE GUEST - JANE MCKENNAJane is a Career and Maternity Coach and runs Brilliant Me Coaching. She supports individuals through career change, the maternity transition and return to work, and regularly talks about these topics on LinkedIn. She is passionate about helping others rediscover their brilliance and find career happiness through 1 to 1 coaching, group programmes, courses and workshops.She regularly runs a series of free workshops on topics such as Returning with Confidence, Overcoming Limiting Beliefs, Creating a Brilliant CV and Navigating ChangeCONNECT WITH THE GUESTLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jane-mckenna/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/brilliantmecoachingEmail: jane@brilliantme.co.ukWebsite: www.brilliantme.co.ukABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

Best States for Working Dads; Hot weekend ahead; 'Lift Every Voice And Sing'

Y'all Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2023 172:20

Father's Day is Sunday; and thanks to WalletHub we have the best states for working dads. The Juneteenth holiday is Monday, and we discover the origins of the black civil rights hymn "Lift Every Voice And Sing." Also, LSU, TCU and Tennessee are among the teams that begin play this weekend in the College World Series in Omaha, Nebraska..

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Culture Shift: Co-op

coaching parenting coop working moms career coaching working parents parental leave culture shift working mums working dads

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2023 33:03

Lead from the front. A key message from Emma at Co-op when it comes to running a successful parents network.Elliott and I also chatted to Emma about how network leads manage their own emotional wellbeing when faced with emotive topics as well as lots more.Find out more about Emma and Co-op:https://www.linkedin.com/in/emma-southworth-157743a3/Find out more about Elliott:https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/ABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

Rising Above: The Mindset Shift From Surviving to Thriving with Freddy Fitzgerald

Purpose Infused Brotherhood Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2023 69:33

Rising Above: The Mindset Shift From Surviving to Thriving with Freddy FitzgeraldWe are super excited to have Freddy Fitzgerald on the show today talking about Rising Above: The Mindset Shift From Surviving to Thriving! Freddy's story will blow your mind and will give you so many incredible insights on how to take that adversity in your life and go from surviving to thriving!Our goal is to help working men be happier and healthier and this weeks episode will absolutely help you do that!!Episode Notes:Freddy's Survival StoryFear has such an affect12 steps to go from Surviving to ThrivingTop 3 Tools for Rising Above and ThrivingBio:Freddy is one of California's top Life Coaches. He has appeared on TV shows and radio shows giving life advice as well as relationship advice. He has been a Life Coach for almost a decade, helping hundreds of people get unstuck and find the answers they seek. He is the leader of the Positive Warrior movement, which is focused on helping people achieve their goals through adopting a positive mindset and investing in personal development.Connect with Freddy:www.instagram.com/thepositivewarriors__________________________Working Dads are you tired of being...❌ Exhausted all the time❌ Saying no to playing with your kids - a lot❌ Eating like shit and your dad belly getting bigger❌ Not being able to find the time to exercise, eat right, and feel fantastic?Are you ready to..✅ Rapidly increased your energy levelsWill allow you to be more productive at home and work✅ Say yes to any time your kids ask to playCreate better relationships with your kids & wife✅ Learn how to actually fuel your body the right wayFeel so much better and lose that dad belly✅ Become consistent with working out and moving your bodyBuild discipline and make a commitment & kept itIf you are ready for Happier and Healthier change, the Purpose Infused Brotherhood and the 3M Fit Dad System are ready for YOU!Apply here for more information: https://yxjf7uifax8.typeform.com/to/LsVDDamH

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Culture Shift: Aon

pr discover coaching parents parenting dads working moms career coaching working parents aon parental leave culture shift working mums working dads

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2023 37:22

What if you could create an award-winning support network for working parents and carers while building meaningful connections in the wider community? Join me as I talk with Tim Soper from Aon about the incredible success of their Parents and Carers Network and its subgroup, the Dads at Aon Network. Discover how these innovative networks have grown and evolved, providing invaluable support and inspiration to countless working parents.During our conversation, we explore the power of PR and visibility in forging connections with external networks and discuss the steps necessary to establish a thriving support group from the ground up. Tim shares his insights on the importance of spreading the load among dedicated members, creating a space for open conversations, and utilizing available resources to make a lasting impact. Finally, we dive into the nuts and bolts of structuring a support network, from crafting a purposeful annual plan to fostering an inclusive environment that celebrates diversity. Learn how employee happiness can directly benefit the workplace and gain valuable tips from Tim's experiences in growing and supporting the Dads at Aon Network. Don't miss out on this empowering episode packed with invaluable insights for anyone looking to start or strengthen their own network.Find out more about Tim:https://www.linkedin.com/in/tim-soper-a02907b4/Find out more about Elliott:https://musicfootballfatherhood.com/ABOUT ME - AYESHA MURRAYI'm an accredited career coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world. Having experienced the working parent juggle first hand, I now coach people through their career and life challenges. WORK WITH MEI'm here to give you the confidence, self-belief and support to help you design a life that works for you and your family. Through tried and tested approaches, tools and methodologies, you'll leave the coaching process with clear direction, motivation and energy. If you'd like to find out more about how coaching could work for you, book a free 30 min call at https://calendly.com/ayeshamurraycoaching/discovery-call CONNECT WITH MEWebsite - www.ayeshamurray.comLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/ayeshamurray75Instagram - www.instagram.com/ayeshamurray_coaching DISCLAIMERThe views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.

5 Mistakes Even Good Dads Make - Equipping Men in Ten EP 650

Men in the Arena Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2023 12:44

Sponsor: Juniper Mountain Trading Post coffee. Use code "ARENA" at junipermountaintradingpost.com for 10% off your order. If you're listening to this podcast, you're probably a pretty good dad. But there are 5 common mistakes that even GOOD dads make. In this week's 10-minute equipping episode, Jim Ramos describes the five types of mistaken dad he's seen over and over again in 30 years of ministry, and helps you course-correct if you've fallen into one of the "good Christian dad" errors. Are you the: Rubberband Dad? Bulldozer Dad? Kids-First Dad? Working Dad? Religious Dad? Find out in today's episode.

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Ep. 102 – Transitioning from Stay-at-Home Dad to Working Dad With Brock Lusch

Craft Parenting Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2023 125:34

This week, we welcome Brock Lusch, a former stay-at-home dad and founder of the Cincinnati Dad's Group back to the podcast. We discuss how the transition from a stay-at-home dad to a working dad is going. We also get a sample of Deadlow's Mother's Day beer (called Mums N Roses, highly recommend), what Brock's role is at the brewery, and how to navigate technology with kids.Learn more about the Cincinnati Dads Group by following them on Facebook. You can also follow Brock on Instagram and TikTok. This podcast episode was recorded at Deadlow Brewing. Listen to our previous episode with Brock here: Ep. 74 – Dads Don't Babysit With Brock Lusch.***Spread the Word and Connect With UsIf you like what you hear, please leave us a rating and reviewFollow us on Facebook and InstagramHelp us spread the word about the podcast so we can grow Send us feedback, comments, and questions at craftparentingpodcast@gmail.comVisit our website at https://www.craftparentingpodcast.com to read our blog posts about life as parents, our family adventures, craft beer, and more.Buy Us A CoffeeIf you enjoy listening to our podcast and reading our blog posts every week, then you can help offset our equipment and software costs through Buy Me a Coffee. We wouldn't be able to do any of this without the loyalty of our listeners and readers. THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for all of your support!Support the show

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Being a Healthy and Happy Dad with Jordan Dugger

Purpose Infused Brotherhood Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2023 63:05

Being a Healthy and Happy Dad with Jordan DuggerI am so excited to have Jordan Dugger on this week talking about Being a Happy and Healthy Dad. Jordan is the owner of IFCA the coaching program I have used to build the 3M Fit Dad System and one of my coaches. I have listened to him so many times on lessons and learned so much from him and John and I am super excited to be able share this episode with you.Our goal is to help working men be happier and healthier and this weeks episode will absolutely help you do that!!Episode Notes:The hard conversationsBecoming a first time dadI have 2 sides to meThirst the quench for curiosityResponsibilities of a DadDifference between men and women going through struggleTop 3 Tools to Be a Healthy and Happy DadBio:Jordan Dugger is a highly successful serial entrepreneur and co-founder of two 7-figure online businesses: T4E Systems and Impact Fitness Coaching Academy (IFCA). But Jordan's most important job is being an incredible dad to his son Jaxson (10 months) and a devoted husband to his wife and business partner, Erin Dimond.Jordan's journey to success has been nothing short of remarkable.After struggling with addiction and working in a soul-sucking sales career, he made a life-changing decision to help his girlfriend (now wife) Erin build a successful online fitness business, T4E Systems, in 2013. Together, they've transformed the lives of over 5,000 online fitness clients.Driven by their passion for helping others, Jordan and Erin launched Impact Fitness Coaching Academy, setting the standard for online coaching mentorships. To date, IFCA has helped over 3,000 online coaches and personal trainers start and scale their businesses online.In 2022, Jordan and Erin achieved a significant milestone when they successfully sold T4E Systems, making it one of only two online fitness businesses in the industry to have a successful transfer in ownership. Jordan and Erin remain active partners in the transfer of T4E Systems.Connect with Jordan:Instagram: @jordandugger_https://www.impactcoachacademy.com/__________________________Working Dads are you tired of being...❌ Exhausted all the time❌ Saying no to playing with your kids - a lot❌ Eating like shit and your dad belly getting bigger❌ Not being able to find the time to exercise, eat right, and feel fantastic?Are you ready to..✅ Rapidly increased your energy levelsWill allow you to be more productive at home and work✅ Say yes to any time your kids ask to playCreate better relationships with your kids & wife✅ Learn how to actually fuel your body the right wayFeel so much better and lose that dad belly✅ Become consistent with working out and moving your bodyBuild discipline and make a commitment & kept itIf you are ready for Happier and Healthier change, the Purpose Infused Brotherhood and the 3M Fit Dad System are ready for YOU!Apply here for more information: https://yxjf7uifax8.typeform.com/to/LsVDDamH

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"Mom Who Works" with Jenna Worthen

Love Your Mom Life

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2023 35:13

Nikki's book is now available on Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and through Bookshop.Org, where every purchase supports your local bookstore. Grab your copy today!Want a sneak peek? Download a FREE chapter of Nikki's book!You absolutely don't want to miss Nikki's conversation with Jenna Worthen, who is the founder of Mom Who Works, an organization that aims to support working mothers. Tune in to hear how Jenna is redefining what it means to be a Working Mom (in a world without “Working Dads”).Be sure to check out Jenna's book, Mom Who Works,* which teaches actionable strategies to seamlessly incorporate the Mother in you into each and every part of your life. Connect with Jenna on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or on her website. *This is an affiliate link. If you click on this link and make a purchase, Nikki may earn a commission, at no additional cost to you. Thanks for your support!Support the showFollow Nikki on Instagram and Facebook! Wanna be on the show or sponsor an episode? Email your pitch to nikki@youridealmomlife.com.

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CrossFitter Feature & Success Story- Ed Burnley (Firefighter, Busy Working Dad)

The Company of Dads Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2023 27:47

TO LEARN MORE: www.CrossFitEdwardsville.com www.Facebook.com/CrossFitEdwardsville TikTok: @crossfitedwardsville Instagram: @crossfitedwardsville Twitter: @cfedwardsville YouTube: CrossFit Edwardsville TO GET STARTED AT CFE: Book a No-Sweat Conversation with a coach, using this scheduler: https://go.oncehub.com/conversationwithcoach You can also find the link to schedule on our website. While this show is educational & entertaining in nature, it does not replace or supplant professional medical guidance from your own physician. Before beginning any exercise or nutrition program, please first consult with your doctor.

EP59: How To Combine Family and Career as A Working Dad

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2023 29:43

Interview with Roman Gaida / Business Leader Setting An ExampleHOSTED BY PAUL SULLIVANLead Dads need examples at work. They need to see senior leaders being Full Parents at Work - not Event Dads who leave early for a game or a performance. Roman Gaida came to understand this when his sons were born five years ago. He runs Europe, the Middle East and Africa for Mitsubishi Electric - some 160 employees - and he has instituted work policies to allow parents to fulfill their potential. He writes about his leadership strategy in a new book: Working Dad: How To Combine Family and Career as An Active Father. Listen to his tips for men to be great fathers, husbands and workers.

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CrossFitter Feature & Success Story- Matt Kopecky (Busy Working Dad & Business Owner)

The Pregnancy to Parenting Show with Elizabeth Joy

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 24:32

TO LEARN MORE: www.CrossFitEdwardsville.com www.Facebook.com/CrossFitEdwardsville TikTok: @crossfitedwardsville Instagram: @crossfitedwardsville Twitter: @cfedwardsville YouTube: CrossFit Edwardsville TO GET STARTED AT CFE: Book a No-Sweat Conversation with a coach, using this scheduler: https://go.oncehub.com/conversationwithcoach You can also find the link to schedule on our website. While this show is educational & entertaining in nature, it does not replace or supplant professional medical guidance from your own physician. Before beginning any exercise or nutrition program, please first consult with your doctor.

Ep 255: How to Be a Working Mom When There are No Working Dads with Jenna Worthen

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2023 63:37

JENNA WORTHEN is the founder of Mom Who Works, an organization that aims to support working mothers. Jenna is tired of all of the biases that come with the term "working mother" - less pay and career mobility, unnecessary bias, and mom guilt, to name a few. Her new book, Mom Who Works, supports the working mothers who live in a world without the phrase "working dads" by teaching actionable strategies to seamlessly incorporate the Mother in you into each and every part of your life. Check out Jenna's book: https://www.momwhoworks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/momwhoworks/ Connect with Liz Connect with Liz: https://www.instagram.com/esandoz/?hl=en https://miraculousmamas.com/blog This podcast is sponsored by Lume Deodorant New customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code CHAVA at www.LumeDeodorant.com

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CrossFitter Feature & Success Story- Jake Combs (Busy Working Dad & Husband)

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 35:14

TO LEARN MORE: www.CrossFitEdwardsville.com www.Facebook.com/CrossFitEdwardsville TikTok: @crossfitedwardsville Instagram: @crossfitedwardsville Twitter: @cfedwardsville YouTube: CrossFit Edwardsville TO GET STARTED AT CFE: Book a No-Sweat Conversation with a coach, using this scheduler: https://go.oncehub.com/conversationwithcoach You can also find the link to schedule on our website. While this show is educational & entertaining in nature, it does not replace or supplant professional medical guidance from your own physician. Before beginning any exercise or nutrition program, please first consult with your doctor.

CrossFitter Feature & Success Story- Andrew Hughes (Busy Working Dad & Husband)