Unlimited

Send me a text!“Where do we go from here” is a common question when we encounter a crossroads in life. Whether a transition is big or small, each point is an invitation learn more about yourself and choose what is aligned for the person you are becoming. This episode engages two types of transition reflection. First the riptide transition point, when you realize you've unconsciously slid back into ways of being you thought you'd moved away from. Second the seismic transition point, when something outside your control cracks your stability. Though vastly different levels of outward impact, they both impact who you understand yourself to be in relation to your life. Radical self-compassion and connecting with trusted others for support allow the room to intentionally answer where do we go from here.In this episode of Mindset Unlimited, I explore ways we answer the question “Where do we go from here” through reflections on this podcast and speaking to federal workers facing layoffs.Some of what I explore in this episode includes:Why I started this podcastMy relationship to podcasting & perfectionismMy background in SociologyA letter to Federal Workers LINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:Ask Valerie (anonymous form)Assigned Reading by Becky Mollenkamp CONNECT WITH VALERIE:Sign up for Valerie's newsletterApply to be coached on the podcastSchedule an exploration call This podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander CoachingProud member of the Feminist Podcasters CollectiveSupport the show

Send me a text!Cultivating an intentional community is a powerful and critical antidote to the disconnection fed by our current societal structures and now is the time to cultivate. I say that because we're living in a time where those structures are breaking down. Our individualistic, hierarchical culture is hitting its limits, and it feels rather like it's composting itself. But compost makes great soil, and with intention, we can use that breakdown to grow something new.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited sisters Nancy and Amy Harrington to join me in a conversation about cultivating intentional community and the shifts that support connection, collaboration, and care.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Rebuilding trust in relationships with other womenRedefining leadership—from hierarchy to a circle of self and co-leadershipDeveloping community agreements rooted in consent, care, and shared responsibilityPracticing the power of asking, receiving, and mutual supportThrough this episode, you'll gain inspiration and ideas for building community rooted in belonging, consent, and care. LINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:262 Women's Project with Deb DrummondDia Bondi – Communication CoachBecky MollenkampCher Hale – On the Death of Mentorship CONNECT WITH AMY AND NANCY:WebsiteFacebook   LinkedInInstagramThe Passionistas Project Sisterhood CONNECT WITH VALERIE:Ask Valerie (anonymous form)Sign up for Valerie's newsletterApply to be coached on the podcastSchedule an exploration callListen to the Unlimited PlaylistSupport the show

Send me a text!What's really draining your energy isn't solely the stressors in your life but the patterns you've learned to deal with them. If you're feeling emotionally drained, constantly second-guessing yourself, or stuck in a cycle of over-responsibility and burnout—you're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you. The ways your unconscious has learned to help you may no longer support the life you want. While the state of the world is undeniably overwhelming, many of the most persistent energy drains come from within—especially in how we respond to stress, pressure, and high expectations. In this real-life Energy Leadership Index (ELI) debrief, I walk through a coaching session with a creative, purpose-driven client who's feeling depleted. Together, we explore how her energy is shaped by both external stressors and internal beliefs, including guilt around setting boundaries, fear of letting others down, and the pressure to always get things right. In this episode of Mindset Unlimited, you'll hear Valerie use the Energy Leadership Index Assessment Debrief to help a client explore the question: “What's really draining your energy and how can you reclaim it using your strengths?”Some of what we engage in this episode include:What the Energy Leadership Index (ELI) Assessment is and how it worksThe 7 levels of energy and how they influence stress, mindset, and behaviorHow your energy levels can lead to exhaustion, motivation, and or bothIdentifying practical strategies that fit you when it comes to supports like setting boundaries and honoring your capacity If you're navigating stress, fatigue, or emotional exhaustion and want insight into how to reclaim your energy and feel more empowered, this episode is for you.LINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:Sign up for the Energy Leadership Index Assessment Use Code APRILELI for $150 off!Unlocking Your Leadership Energy episodeYou're More Than Your Personality Test episodeToxic Positivity episodeCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Ask Valerie (anonymous form)Sign up for Valerie's newsletterApply to be coached on the podcastSchedule an exploration callThis podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander CoachingProud member of the Feminist Podcasters CollectiveSupport the show

Send me a text!Unlocking your leadership energy isn't just for executives—it's for anyone navigating life's complex challenges. In this episode, I dive deep into how we can shift from reactive stress responses to intentional, powerful action. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty or stuck in unproductive patterns, I'll share transformative insights from the Energy Leadership Index (ELI) that can help you understand your inner dynamics, break free from limiting beliefs, and step into a more empowered version of yourself. Join me as we explore practical strategies to lead more effectively, both in your personal life and professional journey.In this episode of Mindset Unlimited, I explore a specialized tool to facilitate unlocking your leadership energy, so you can act with intention instead of reacting from stress.Some of what I explore in this episode includes:Why understanding your energy patterns is key to responding rather than reacting in high-stress situations.How the ELI differs from personality tests and provides actionable insights for leadership and resilience.The seven levels of energy and how they shape your mindset, communication, and decision-making.Practical steps to start shifting your energy today—even if you don't take the assessment.Through this episode you'll gain insights, a framework, and a reflection tool to engage stress proactively without toxic positivity.LINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:Sign up for the Energy Leadership Index AssessmentForbes article Best Tests to Help You Understand Your Strengths and WeaknessesYou're More Than Your Personality Test episodeIdentifying Your True Goals with Amy Pons episodeStress Release Strategies guidePROMOTIONAL LINK: Queer News with Anna DeshawnCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Ask Valerie (anonymous form)Sign up for Valerie's newsletterApply to be coached on the podcastSchedule an exploration call This podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander CoachingProud member of the Feminist Podcasters CollectiveSupport the show

Send me a text!Identifying your true goals is the starting point to transforming your life from the inside out. In this powerful episode of Mindset Unlimited, I sit down with fellow Chicago-based life coach, Amy Pons, to unpack the powerful journey of breaking through learned limitations and discovering your authentic path. We explore how to lead from your truth center, navigate uncertainty, and create meaningful shifts in your life by embracing gratitude, curiosity, and self-discovery. If you're feeling stuck, yearning for authentic growth, or ready to unlearn societal conditioning, this conversation offers practical insights and inspiring perspectives on reclaiming your personal power and designing a life that truly resonates with your soul.In this episode of Mindset Unlimited, I invited Amy Pons (she/her), a healer and life coach, to join me in a conversation about identifying your true goals so that you can find and lead your life from your truth center.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:The importance of the journey and what you accrue along the way matters as much or even more than the end goalClaiming your power begins by releasing control of what's not yoursGratitude, embracing duality, curiosity and other ways to support a mindset shiftWhen to get a coach and how to choose the right fitLINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:The Human ArrayWomen Making Moves: Coaches on Coaching with Valerie Friedlander CONNECT WITH AMY:WebsiteAmy on LinkedInCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteAsk Valerie (anonymous form)Sign up for Valerie's newsletterApply to be coached on the podcastSchedule an exploration callThis podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander CoachingProud member of the Feminist Podcasters CollectiveSupport the show

Send me a text!Planting seeds of hope is a radical act of resilience during times of uncertainty and upheaval. When fear threatens to paralyze us, hope becomes our most powerful tool. Spring invites us into the sacred work of seeding dreams—not for immediate gratification, but with generational wisdom. We may not personally witness the full bloom of our efforts, but there is profound joy in tending to what matters most, knowing our actions create pathways for future generations. In this episode of Your Mindset Unlimited, I explore how we start planting seeds of hope that inspire aligned action. Some of what I explore in this episode includes:The evolution of the podcast and what to expect this seasonHow to harness spring's creative energy for personal growthStrategies for overcoming fear and embracing discomfortThe importance of community and connection in achieving our goals Through this episode you'll access hope through the possibilities inherent in aligned, purposeful action. LINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:The Wildwood Tarot: Wherein Wisdom ResidesLet this Radicalize You: Organizing and the Revolution of Reciprocal CareParable of the Sower CONNECT WITH VALERIE:Ask Valerie (anonymous form)Sign up for Valerie's newsletterApply to be coached on the podcastSchedule an exploration call This podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander CoachingProud member of the Feminist Podcasters CollectiveSupport the show

Send me a text!Vulnerability and tending to what is important is particularly critical in a chaotic time. After my wrapping my interview with Cher Hale, she inquired into my next steps around demanding attention.  As listeners who gift me your attention, it seemed appropriate to share with you my own in the moment reflections on attention and what's important about it to me.  Together, Cher and I share insights around unlearning supremacy conditioning, the power of community, and the transformative impact of nervous system work. This pre-season bonus episode offers a glimpse into aspects of my personal growth journey along with an update on the status of this podcast.In this episode of Unlimited, Cher Hale (she/her), invited me to explore my relationship to vulnerability and tending to what is important.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:My personal reflections on vulnerability, emotional safety, and the impact of supremacy cultureThe importance of community, storytelling, and doing things that matter rather than just looking goodThe role of nervous system work in building the courage to ask for what I needMy process of unpacking individualistic thinking and hierarchies to reclaim my own agencyLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Carmen Spagnola – The Numinous Network (Safe and Sound Protocol)How to Create Belonging with Amena Chaudhry CONNECT WITH CHER:Substack: For the Attention Website CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website LinkedInBlueSkySign up for a free Exploration Call Get email updatesSupport the show

Send me a text!Navigating change in the new year without the overwhelm can feel like a lot—especially when life feels messy, uncertain, or heavy. Real change starts with understanding the waters we swim in (ie the pressures of our social norms) and engaging our internalized patterns as well as the emotions and discomfort of stepping into the unknown. We must unhook from perfectionism, certainty and results, and lean into the experience of an emergent process. When we take time to understand why change feels so challenging and what support we need to move through it, we can create space for growth and align with what truly matters. This work is crucial because it shapes not only how we show up for ourselves but also how we show up and shape change in our relationships, communities, and the systems we're part of. In this episode of Unlimited, I share reflections on societal patterns and self-awareness in navigating change in the new year.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Practical tools for tough conversationsEngaging your stress responseTools to check in, support yourself, and make clear decisionsHow to interrupt bigotry to shift normsLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Holiday Stress SupportAsk ValerieMindset Assessment discount code ELI2025Coaching session – community pricing modelExploration call If you found this episode helpful, please share it! You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Facebook Instagram Get email updates Schedule a free initial consult Submit a questionSupport the show

Send me a text!Healing our relationship with attention begins with noticing the ways in which our natural need for attention has been damaged. In a society that commodifies attention and polices who and what is allowed attention, we develop a distorted relationship with a core aspect of how we connect to each other. This disconnection feeds feelings of isolation and loneliness, leaving us vulnerable to systems that exploit our need to feel seen and heard. By addressing the shame around seeking attention and understanding its role in genuine connection, we can start to reclaim our capacity for presence, care, and community in a way that fosters deeper relationships and collective healing.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Cher Hale (she/her), to join me in a conversation about the weaponization of attention and healing our relationship with attention.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:The stigmatization of seeking attentionShifting from unhealthy to intentional attentionIndividualism's role in loneliness and disconnectionUsing visibility for collective empowermentLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Slow Build to & the Life-Saving Payoff of Asking for AttentionThe Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona EltahawyLearning Self-Advocacy to Strengthen Collective Action with Jenique JonesSwimmy by Leo LionniHoliday Stress SupportCONNECT WITH CHER:Substack: For the AttentionWebsiteCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

Send me a text!Responsive practices to create a supportive relationship with your teen starts with acknowledging your own inner child's unhealed wounds so that you can create space in yourself to hold space for another. These wounds often become activated when we see them mirrored in our children's behavior. Unfortunately, the tools we were taught to address these behaviors often perpetuate the very patterns we hope to break. Whether you have teenagers now, are preparing for those years, or are working to shift your own patterns, understanding these dynamics and embracing new practices can help you show up more fully for your kids—and can also be deeply validating for your own healing journey.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Donna Lynne Booher (she/her), to join me in a conversation about engaging Responsive Practices to Create a Supportive Relationship with Your TeenSome of what we talk about in this episode includes:Understanding how to give emotional validationBreaking free from perfectionismDeveloping trust and improving communicationHolding space for your kid's evolving identityCONNECT WITH DONNA:LinkedInCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

Send me a text!Navigating tough conversations with emotional awareness is a critical skill as we are all likely to need to engage difficult dialogues, especially during this time of heightened political and social tensions. These types of conversations can be emotionally taxing, and it's important we approach them with both strong self-awareness and self-care. Our ability to show up authentically, compassionately, and aligned with the change we want to see in the world as we interact with others is directly tied to our own inner work.In this episode of Unlimited, I offer insights and tools for navigating tough conversations with emotional awareness.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Practical tools for tough conversationsEngaging your stress responseTools to check in, support yourself, and make clear decisionsHow to interrupt bigotry to shift normsLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: Read This to Get Smarter: About Race, Class, Gender, Disability & More By Blair ImaniBlair Imani Instagram on tough conversationsShenikka Moore-Clarke, MSW, LICSW The Healing Vibe Therapist How to avoid sharing election misinformation - NPRUnderstanding Your Stress LanguageStress Release Strategy Guide BOOK A PAY WHAT YOU CAN COACHING SESSION If you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteFacebookInstagramGet email updatesSchedule a free initial consultSubmit a questionSupport the showSupport the show

Send me a text!Learning self-advocacy to strengthen collective action is a critical component of sustainable social change. Those of us socialized as women are often conditioned to prioritize supporting others, which can make self-advocacy more difficult. However, by connecting to our own value and values, and speaking up for ourselves even when it's uncomfortable, we lead by example and inspire others to do the same. Cultivating this sense of self and worth strengthens our resilience, reducing fragility when engaging with diverse perspectives. It also empowers us to lead collaboratively and contribute to collective action, rather than remaining trapped in hierarchical, individualistic, and oppressive ways of being.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Jenique Jones (she/her), Executive Director at WhyHunger, to join me in a conversation around social change through learning self-advocacy to strengthen collective action.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:The impact of how you talk to yourselfAsking questions as advocacy for equityCollaborative vs authoritarian leadershipFood and music as bridges for connectionLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Pressure to Love Your Job with Cristin DownsMicro-Actions to Manifest Big Change with Taina BrownDealing with Impostor SyndromeCONNECT WITH JENIQUE:Website LinkedIn WhyHunger InstagramWhyHunger TikTok CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

Send me a text!Embracing periods of reflection, introspection, and processing is a crucial but often overlooked and devalued aspect of personal and societal growth and change. To create real shifts in the world's imbalances, we must first engage with the internalized patterns and conditioning that hold us back. This self-work not only deepens the impact of our efforts, but also cultivates more intentional, present, and joyful relationships. However, by undervaluing these periods of reflection and recalibration, society continues to perpetuate oppressive systems. If we aim to truly create change, we must honor these cycles of introspection, building the resilience, creativity, and effectiveness needed to dismantle harmful structures and shape the world we want to live in.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore and strive to coalesce my thoughts around the importance of embracing periods of reflection.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Cycles of life and the value of “winter”What we get wrong about routinesSystems of oppression and dominanceBuilding supports to doing something differentLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Micro-Actions to Manifest Big Change with Taina BrownThe Pressure to Love Your Job with Cristin DownsSupporting Changes in Your LifeBlack Liturgies post on InstagramSister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre LordeThis Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of ColorThis Here Flesh by Cole Arthur RileyRustin on NetflixThe National SEED ProjectIf you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteFacebookInstagramGet email updatesSchedule a free initial consultSubmit a questionSupport the show

Send me a text!Being intentional with when to say yes isn't just considering yes vs no.  Intentionality also involves how you engage internal resistance to what you say you want to do. There are many reasons you might experience tension and resistance even when you want to do something. First, it could highlight an area that needs clarification or additional discernment. Your subconscious will send you signals when it perceives potential danger including from a values conflict or past experiences. Second, it could be a warning around your capacity. That doesn't mean don't do it, but it may mean obtaining additional information and/or support. Remember saying yes isn't just for giving and doing but also for receiving.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore being intentional with when to say yes and when there's subsequent resistance around then doing the thing.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Values assessment to identify internal conflictsOvercoming resistance from fearPreventing burnout cycles from misalignmentCapacity and additional agreements to consider when saying yesLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Micro-Actions to Manifest Big Change with Taina BrownHow to Say No Without GuiltClarifying What You WantHow Do I Find What I Really WantDealing with Burnout Beyond the 9-5  If you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE: WebsiteFacebook Instagram Get email updatesSchedule a free initial consultSubmit a questionSupport the showSupport the show

Send me a text!Supporting Changes in your life means reconnecting to your power in your relationship to change. It allows you to transform the patterns that aren't serving you during the transition period, rather than carrying them with you into a new space. Unfortunately, what often happens is that changes in our life feel in some way like they're imposed upon us, even when they're ones that we choose because the ripple effect of those changes are typically things that we get carried along by, rather than ones we intentionally curate.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore a process for supporting changes in your life with holistic intentionality and without exhausting yourself.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:The power to transform patterns during life transitionsNavigating the cognitive and emotional load involved in life changesHow to manage overwhelm and make aligned decisionsTools to support yourself through changeLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Reclaim Your Routine Workshop SeriesDealing with Impostor Syndrome (podcast episode)Redefining Our Relationship to Productivity  (podcast episode)Loving Yourself Through Grief  (podcast episode)The Courage to Change (podcast episode)If you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie! Support the show

Send me a text!Collaborative Leadership from Boardroom to Patient-Centered Caregiving is essential for fostering effective relationships between CEOs and board members, as well as between healthcare professionals and patients. This approach not only enhances organizational dynamics but also improves patient outcomes by prioritizing communication, trust, and shared goals. By empowering all stakeholders and embracing transparency, collaborative leadership creates an environment where diverse perspectives are valued, and innovative solutions can emerge to address complex challenges in healthcare and beyond.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Heather Maurer (she/her) CEO of the National Association of Nurse Practitioners in Women's Health to join me in a conversation around advancing collaborative leadership from boardroom to patient-centered caregiving.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Listening to yourself, saying no, and respecting your own expertise and roleEmpowerment vs control and collaborative decision-makingBuilding trust through transparency, time, and accountability Separating systems and humans as we advocateWays to support asking for what you need LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Cultivating Collaboration Over CompetitionNavigating Our Relationship with DeathCONNECT WITH HEATHER:Website LinkedInHer Health Matters PodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the Show.

Send me a text!Micro-actions to manifest big change is key because we can often feel overwhelmed by the changes we want to make in our own life, let alone the change we'd like to see in the world. The best part is micro-actions naturally build on themselves. First and most obviously, they provide momentum as you do the next thing and then the next thing. Second, they teach our brain what to focus on, so we notice more opportunities to access or create what we want. Understanding how our brain relates to our behavior can allow you to take small, totally doable steps that will naturally move you forward.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Taina Brown (she/her) to join me in a conversation around using micro-actions to manifest big change in your life and in the world.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Building momentum to manifest what you wantHacking your brain's algorithmFeeding abundance vs scarcityIdentifying a micro-action to takeLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: How to Manifest What you WantReclaiming Creativity and Healing Through ArtEmergent Strategy by adrienne maree brownCONNECT WITH TAINA:WebsiteInstagramLinkedInMessy Liberation PodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the Show.

Send me a text!Realigning your core values requires exploring both what is consciously important to you AND your societal conditioning. Your values, both conscious and subconscious, shape your decisions and motivate our behavior. If you find yourself feeling stuck, drained, or sabotaging what you say you want, it's likely you have a subconscious values conflict. There are 5 values that I regularly find creating conflict within my high-achieving clients. They are responsibility, reliability, respect, achievement, and discipline. During a period of change, particularly societal change, it is both crucial and powerful to examen these driving forces within yourself. The patterns are more noticeable AND values work can ensure that you are living in alignment with what you want to create in your life and in the world, rather than sliding into reactivity.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore a process for realigning your core values so you can make more intentional choices that honor who you want to be.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Differentiating between internalized values and intentional, conscious valuesHow to align your values with your desired way of beingThe values of Responsibility, Reliability, Respect, Achievement, and Discipline.Engaging values to improve the quality and sustainability of your motivationThe updated values of Valerie Friedlander CoachingLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: Fearing The Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia Stop Being Nice and Start Being Resilient More Self-Control Is Not Always The AnswerAbout MeShift from Drained to Motivated Free Exploration Session If you found this episode helpful, please share it! You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text!Navigating our relationship with death is a profound part of our human experience, yet we often avoid talking about it. This avoidance not only prevents us from asking for and receiving care, it also reduces our capacity to provide care. Additionally, we must be able to embrace our mortality (rather than trying to transcend it) in order to fully embrace living this one precious life. Death doulas are a valuable resource for those looking for support around the emotional, practical, and spiritual dynamics of death.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Nikki Smith (she/her) to join me in a conversation around navigating our relationship with death.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:What is a death doulaAllowing space for grieving, whatever that looks like for youEngaging our fear of death to fully embrace lifeHow to find care as you navigate death and griefLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula - Understanding HospiceFor those in Chicago, IL looking for estate planning, check out Emily Rozwadowski Law (reference this podcast for 10% off estate planning documents)CONNECT WITH NIKKI:WebsiteInstagramFacebookLinkedInPodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updatesSupport the Show.

Send me a text!“Three Essentials to Maximize Your Experience at an Event” provides a strategy to keep your planning simple and ensure you get the most out of your investment of time, money, and energy.  Some of the obstacles to event ROI include overwhelm, self-doubt, shiny object, peer pressure, FOMO, and other such distractions. Additionally, the so called “mom guilt” is a common struggle for high-achieving women with children at home. With these kinds of challenges, you need something simple to support both strategic pre-event planning and at event discernment.In this episode I explore the 3 essentials to maximize your experience at an event whether it's a professional conference or personal development retreat.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:Exploring the relationship between your values and the eventPreparing for an event with priorities and boundariesPlanning supports and follow up during and after the eventCreating accountability systemsThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can send me a message through the "text me" link on your listening platform, shootme an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com, or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding (an episode on values, plus “mom guilt”)Shift from Drained to Motivated (an episode on values)Silencing Your Inner CriticOne time coaching sessionExploration callCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Send me a text!Redefining our relationship to productivity is a necessary component of preventing burnout and cultivating well-being. Our current societal relationship to productivity is built on Industrial Revolution era conception of work ethic. This conception wraps our value into what we can produce, dehumanizing us in the process. In order to rehumanize our relationship to our energy, we must first reclaim our worth separate from external measures of production. Additionally we must learn to tap into our values and honor our capacity as we prioritize our energy usage.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Lisa Zawrotny (she/her) to join me in a conversation about redefining our relationship to productivity to support our mental health and well-being.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:The Industrial Revolution's influence on how we understand productivityChoosing where to utilize your energy based on your capacityClarifying your values and releasing shouldsThe glorification of overwork and weaponization of urgencyDefining enough for goal setting and knowing YOU are enoughLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Rethinking Empowerment and Releasing ComparisonLoving Yourself Through GriefWhy Work Life Balance is a MythThe Myths Around ProductivityCONNECT WITH LISA:WebsiteInstagram PinterestPodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Website Instagram Get email updatesSupport the Show.

Send me a text! Tending your self-relationship through values & shadow work helps you engages the roots of your motivation and how you live your life.  Our values form the basis of our core motivations. Shadow work helps us acknowledge and heal the wounds that inhibit awareness and access to our full self. While we live in a world full of obstacles to self-expression, this work will always be an ongoing process. By engaging focused value and shadow reflections, we can better align our actions with what really matters most to us, nurture important relationships, and live purposefully.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Erica Courdae (she/her) to join me in a conversation about the practical wisdom that supports tending our self-relationship through values & shadow work.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Exploring values for the foundation of your decisions and relationshipsMaking values actionable and measurable to ensure alignmentValues work is ongoing, non-linear journey than involves seeking into our shadowOvercoming fear and false security to genuinely heal and growLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Cowboy CarterListen to The Unlimited Podcast PlaylistCONNECT WITH ERICA:WebsiteBookFree Shadow Work Mini-CoursePodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Get email updatesSupport the Show.

Send me a text!Cultivating collaboration over competition is essential in today's interconnected world. We don't exist in a vacuum; our social understanding and discernment must be engaged collectively. The spaces we inhabit, like social media platforms, exert significant influence on our interactions, sometimes more than our intentions to be collaborative versus competitive. The Religious Society of Friends, commonly known as Quakers, is structured around a corporate discernment process rather than dogma. I've found “Quaker process” offers valuable support and guidance for fostering collaboration, emphasizing collective decision-making over individualistic competition.In this episode I share insights from my personal struggles and inspirations around cultivating collaboration over competition in the spaces I occupy.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:Social media influencer soundbitesFinding the answers that aren't inside you Organizational problem solvingSlowing down and making spaceThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can send me a message through the "text me" link on your listening platform, shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com, or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Reclaiming Creativity and Healing Through Art with Krishna KayasthaThe Atheist's Guide to Quaker ProcessFriends General Conference (for more on Quakers)CONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie! Support the Show.

Reclaiming creativity and healing through art is essential because you're innately creative, even if you're someone who wouldn't label yourself as “a creative.” Many of people learn to disconnect from their creativity as children because self-expression doesn't feel safe, pressure to do art “right” surrounded it with perfectionism, and internalized productivity prioritizing. All of these have an impact on our mental health. This is why reclaiming space for creativity for creativity sake can be integral in a healing journey. Additionally, having space held for you can be healing for access to your authentic expression.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Krishna Kayastha (she/her) to join me in a conversation about reclaiming creativity and healing through art.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Lessons learned through motherhoodReleasing perfectionism and embracing playSupporting your mental health through journalingThe necessity of allowing yourself space LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Artist's WayCONNECT WITH KRISHNA:WebsiteInstagramWeekly Journal PromptsCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updatesAsk ValerieSupport the Show.

Foundations for authentic public relations support building solid connections whether you are an organization or individual. The value of truly listening to others, understanding different perspectives and pathways toward a goal, and then following through on what you learn cannot be overstated. These principles of communication and relationship building are critical to create an impact and drive meaningful change in a way that respects all people. Giving the space to engage in a relational process is not easy in the world of urgency and sound bites but it's necessary for authentically engaging the public.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Catharine Montgomery (she/her) to join me in a conversation about how to set and sustain the foundations for authentic public relations.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:People pleasing vs listening and servingThe importance of follow through to build trustEvaluating your purpose and prioritiesEnsuring alignment with clear expectationsPatience with the info gathering process CONNECT WITH CATHARINE MONTGOMERYWebsiteLinkedInMediumThreadsCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookFree ResourcesGet email updatesSupport the show

Understanding the 5 Love Languages has helped facilitate communication for many people but it has numerous limitations. While the 5 Love Languages has become an extremely popular relationship tool, it's not a fix-all and it may not be the right approach for everyone. What about this tool makes it helpful and where it falls short can help you determine if and how to apply it in your own life.In this episode of Unlimited, I'm exploring understanding the 5 Love Languages and how to apply it appropriately in your own life.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:What are the 5 Love LanguagesLimitations of the 5 Love Languages modelLearning what you need and communicating itReflections to support self-loveTips to use the 5 Love Languages modelThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:5 Love Languages WebsiteThe 5 Love Languages BookIs There Science Behind the 5 Love LanguagesBuilding a Relationship to Pleasure and Intimacy with Daniela StevensUnderstanding Your Stress LanguageStress Language QuizHS Emotion Wheels & Needs WheelsAsk Val FormCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Building a relationship to pleasure and intimacy takes a lot of intention in this society that still treats talking about sex as taboo. So many people struggle with intimacy due to lack of communication, trauma, and societal conditioning to disconnect from their bodies and desires. Improving intimacy requires us to unlearn harmful norms and relearn our embodied self. Tools like love languages and embodied practices can help us engage in conscious communication with partners. It helps to create a safe container to explore these sensitive topics compassionately, gain perspective on cultivating more fulfilling relationships.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Daniella Stevens (she/they) to join me in a conversation about how to meet yourself where you're at as you build a relationship to pleasure and intimacy.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Breaking the rules we assume in romantic relationshipsLearning to love yourself and listen to your bodyShifting from goals to intentions in sexThe pressure to perform and recovering from ways we disconnectLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:How to Create Belonging with Amena Chaudhry2017 Medium Article - Why Men Keep Demanding Sex from their Partners Over and OverMonsters In Love: Why Your Partner Sometimes Drives You Crazy—And What You Can Do About It by Resmaa MenakemCONNECT WITH DANIELA STEVENSWebsiteInstagramFree Gift for deeper sexual connectionCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookFree ResourcesGet email updatesSupport the show

Creating healthy relationships in all areas of our life is the focus of this season of Unlimited. A relationship is how we relate to another person, place, thing, or even concept. How we relate to ourselves is at the core of how we relate to others. Yet, how we understand and relate to ourselves is also built from those external relationships. Unfortunately, most of us haven't been taught how to cultivate healthy relationships let alone experienced examples of them. In many cases we need to first unlearn harmful ways of relating before we can learn healing ways of relating. First, we'll lay a foundation of understanding healthy and unhealthy relating. Then, over the next several months, we'll explore how it applies to all areas of our life.In this episode of Unlimited, I'm kicking off the focus of season 4 by setting a foundation for creating healthy relationships.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:Understanding relationships beyond the interpersonalQualities of healthy relationships like trust, honesty, communication, and self-awarenessRelationship red flags like control, disrespect, imbalances, and hurtful languageBuilding self-trust and growing through conflictWhat to expect in Season 4 of UnlimitedLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Signs of a Healthy Relationship Tips for Building a Stronger Relationship Ask a question or share a topic for the podcastApply to be coached on the podcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Discover valuable New Year transition tips in this Season 3 wrap-up for the Unlimited Podcast. The period between one cycle and the next is a great time to reflect both on where you've been and where you're going. It's important to create supportive space to engage and focus that reflection. You can set that foundation through honoring your humanity and connecting to what's really important to you. Celebrating helps you acknowledge yourself even in the small spaces we too often overlook. From there you can create the next phase of your life.  In this episode of Unlimited, I'm diving into a season 3 wrap-up and new year transition tips to help you maximize the time between this cycle and the next.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:Review of Season ThreeWhat's coming in Season FourCreating aligned focus in the new year (If you want to skip the recap, the tips start about 15 mins in)Supports for you in 2024Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Setting Healthy BoundariesHow to Say No Without GuiltWhat to Do When You've Fallen BehindA Simple Way to End the Year Strong – Seeds For Growth PresentationThe Unlimited Podcast MixRest is Resistance – A Manifesto by Tricia HerseyYou're More Than Your Personality TestEnergy Leadership Index Assessment Valerie's Free ResourcesAsk a question or share a topic for the podcastApply to be coached on the podcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Aligning with your astrology is a way to explore what works for you. From new year plans to parenting, it's one thing to recognize that there's no one size fits all, but it can be hard to step outside the norms without some kind of framework to work from. Not to mention, it's even harder to think outside the box when you're already exhausted from trying to function within the normalized systems that aren't working for you. Astrology is a tool that can help you explore other ways to look at challenges and maximize opportunities both in preparing for the year ahead as well as looking at dynamics in your relationships with kids and parents.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Babs Cheung to join me in a conversation about how to align with your astrology as you plan for a new year.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Calendar year vs Fiscal yearUnderstanding your cosmic flowAstrology as a parenting toolCycles in your life and generational patterns LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Astro.comCafé AstrologyCafé Astrology 2024 EphemerisThe Myth of NormalCONNECT WITH BABS CHEUNG: WebsiteInstagram LinkedInDiscovery Quiz CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram FacebookSupport the show

Accessing the true power of gratitude requires going beyond the individual mindset approach that is typically referenced. Expressions of gratitude have been observed among many communally based species. It supports group functioning. Thus, the true power of gratitude is in collective connection, not individual mindset. Studies show that there are a plethora of benefits to gratitude. The problems of toxic positivity and tolerating unacceptable behavior shows up when gratitude is used as a tool of individualism.In this episode of Unlimited, I'm exploring accessing the true power of gratitude through shifting out of individualistic thinking and into collective consideration.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:The biological purpose of gratitudeGuilt vs responsibilityIndividualism's distortion of gratitudeDeveloping a gratitude practiceThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Science of Gratitude white paperNeuroscience Reveals Gratitude Literally Rewires Your Brain to be HappierHow to Make Stress Your Friend TedTalkThe Book of JoyUnderstanding Your Stress Language episodeYou're More Than Your Personality Test episodeToxic Positivity episodeHelpful vs Harmful Mindset Work episodeMaking Holiday Magic WorkshopPrivate coaching sessionCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

How to create belonging starts with understanding that most of us don't know what belonging really is. It's hard to create something that you haven't first experienced and there is a difference between intellectually understanding vs experiencing something. What most of us do experience is strong conditioning from a young age around fitting in - to our families, in our school, and, ultimately, in society. This “fitting in” is part of how we are taught to uphold oppressive social systems because creates a faux belonging that activates our need for belonging but only fills it by exclusion. So, no wonder this is a struggle for many organizations and why we need help to understand and create it. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Amena Chaudhry to join me in a conversation about how to create belonging in a true way for all.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:What is belonging?Fitting in vs belongingDisrupting social normsBuilding emotional literacyLeadership skills for DEI & antiracism workLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Myth of Normal by Gabor MatéThe Culture Code by Daniel CoyleThe Wake Up by Michelle Mijung KimThe Roundtable Talk by Meena MalikCONNECT WITH AMENA CHAUDHRY:WebsiteLinkedInArt of Interrupting Racism workshopCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookSupport the show

Reclaiming humanity through grief is necessary for our ability to intentionally create a world that honors each person's humanity. Understanding and having space to grieve and support each other through our grief helps us to connect to our shared humanity. In so many often unconscious ways, we are encouraged to dehumanize ourselves and others. One way this happens is a disconnect from our emotions and especially a lack of understanding and space to honor grief, not just our individual grief but also our communal grief. To rehumanize ourselves and overcome the pressures to dehumanize others, we must allow the space necessary for grief and healing.  In this episode of Unlimited, I'm exploring understanding grief and how we can reclaim our humanity through grief.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:Types of grief: traumatic grief, communal grief and historical griefUnderstanding anger and processing griefAlgorithms and communityDiscernment in mediaReclaiming humanityThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Lived Experience of Traumatic GriefWhy Historical Trauma Is Critical Understanding Black Mental HealthThe Link Between Trauma and AngerThe Process of GriefWhy Clients Smile When Talking About TraumaSocial Media, The Matrix, and Digital TribalismMisinformation and Trauma: How to Watch a War OnlineSee No Stranger by Valarie KaurMy Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa MenakemThe Myth of Normal by Gabor MatéThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der KolkCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison go hand in hand in a society where empowerment is treated as a commodity and lifestyle is used as a sales tactic. Lifestyle as a sales tactic encourages us to compare how happy we are to how happy someone supposedly living a particular lifestyle appears to be. When empowerment is the commodity being sold, it becomes the way to achieve that lifestyle. These idealized lifestyles tend to uphold societal norms and often become internalized through frequent messaging. Comparison can be a helpful tool for noticing what you have internalized as preferable in life, which may also help you release the comparison. In this episode of Unlimited, I'm exploring rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison to create a more aligned and authentically joyful way of life.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:Re-thinking empowermentWalking through changeThe influence of normsBuying out of the fantasyUsing comparisons for self-reflectionThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Amena Chaudhry LinkedInHow to Manifest What You Want Podcast EpisodeImplicit Bias Defined video by The Center for Social JusticeTEDx What Do We Do About Implicit Bias video by Dushaw HockettThinking Under the Influence video by Brenda J. AllenRest is Resistance by Tricia HerseyCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie! Support the show

How to cure comparisonitis starts by understanding the cause and that this isn't just a “you” problem. It's something that impacts you, your confidence, your sense of self, and your well-being, so it feels deeply personal. Since it's internal, comparisonitis feels like a habit of comparing yourself to others in one or multiple areas. It's usually triggered in an area that already feels endangered in some way – often things like financial success or belonging. It turns into a cycle of validation seeking where you feel inadequate or less than, doubt yourself and your abilities and seek validation from others which tends to further erode self-esteem. It's also framed as an individual issue even when noted as being exacerbated by things like social media. But you can tell there's more to it both in what feels threatened and how it's exacerbated.In this episode of Unlimited, I'm exploring the causes of and how to cure comparisonitis.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:Losing my self and self-trustSacrificing authenticity for belongingSurvival mode upholds societal normsEngaging individual and collective healing4 steps to recalibrate your inner compassThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!  LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Amena Chaudhry LinkedInThe Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate#TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation by Anne Helen PetersonCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

Insights from change making feminist founders are an important type of support for other feminist business owners and leaders. We are surrounded by stories of what success is and what you must do to achieve it that perpetuate exploitation of ourselves, of others, and of our planet. These stories are what is normalized but they aren't the only way. Hearing other stories and ways of doing business helps us believe and trust in the possibility of change. It helps us tap into and generate ideas outside the normalized boxes. Additionally, and maybe most importantly, it helps us know that we are not alone.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Becky Mollenkamp to join me in a conversation about the insights she's gotten from interviewing change making feminist founders.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Unlearning and the journey to find a new pathHierarchical vs egalitarian business structureExploring the term FeminismRecognizing where you still need work and doing itCollective work and enoughnessLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Working it Out PodcastCONNECT WITH BECKY MOLLENKAMP: WebsiteInstagramThreadsFeminist Founders Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show

How to create a schedule that works for you cannot take a one size fits all approach. Most so called “successful people” strategies play on the false idea that we all have the same 24 hours and should, therefore, be able to get the same amount done. These strategies fail to factor in our humanity, discount our lived experiences, and fuel self-doubt. Instead of trying to fit someone else's mold, you deserve routines that honor your humanity and support you where you are. Part of creating a schedule that works for you also means acknowledging that what works for you may look different at different times too. In this episode of Unlimited, I'm diving into the foundations that help you create a schedule that works for you with both structure and flexibility.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:How to bake flexibility into your plansDetermining routines that support youMeeting yourself where you're at in creating new habitsUnderstanding the relationship between time and energyExercises to assess where you're spending your energyThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Episode 7 – Can I Make Plans YetReclaim Your Routine Workshop SeriesCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

How to cultivate self-love is also how you develop self-confidence, make room for self-care, and show up as your best self. This episode is an updated replay of the season one episode, Relearning Self-Love. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for your relationship with everyone and everything in your life. Unfortunately, it is also the relationship that we are constantly conditioned to ignore. Even the emphasis on the importance of self-care turns into a pressure when the foundation for care hasn't been given room to be cultivated. Instead of helping us take care of ourselves better, this pressure further fuels the disconnect within ourselves.In this episode of Unlimited, I'm diving into how to cultivate self-love, especially in times when life is happening and we feel out of control.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:The difference between self-love and self-careIdentifying your level of self-loveNoticing if and how you express love to yourselfWays to build self-confidence through lovePreventing self-love sabotageThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The 5 Love LanguagesWhat's Your Stress Language Quiz#3 Understanding Your Stress LanguageCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie!Support the show

The 7 Ways to Relax this Summer are also the ways we can learn to bring more rest into our lives. We have seven areas that influence our energy and each needs care as we learn to release, relax, and rest. Our society is infused with stories that pull us away from our humanity, which includes devaluing rest. Part of the process of truly relaxing is recognizing the stories we've internalized that keep us from relaxing. This allows us to see the systems that feed us these stories more clearly. Another part is forgiving ourselves, not because it's our fault, but because beating ourselves up is another way we've been conditioned to dehumanize ourselves.In this episode of Unlimited, the podcast, I explore 7 ways to relax this summer that support healing beyond the vacation.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:The pressures of perfectionism & productivityReleasing the lie of lazyEmbracing a growth mindsetLearning and forgiving yourself7 ways to make space to relax REFERENECED IN THIS EPISODE:Rest is Resistance – A Manifesto by Tricia HerseyLaziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price, Ph.D.The Femme Historian InstagramThe Femme Historian Buy Me A CoffeeUNLIMITED EPISODES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:The Value of RestNavigating Obstacles to RestClarifying What You WantCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie!Support the show

How to Navigate Societal Gaslighting and Stay Empowered is an updated replay of the season one episode “No, You're Not Crazy.” Most information regarding gaslighting focuses on the psychological experience within individual relationships. However, gaslighting is actually a societal phenomenon with roots in social power dynamics. Those roots are why it is common to experience the psychological impact of gaslighting during periods of social change. However, because we tend to think of gaslighting as an individual experience, the effect of the societal gaslighting is exacerbated and our ability to navigate the stress is inhibited. We must step out of this over-individualization in order to develop support ourselves through the stress and engage this time with intention. In this episode of Unlimited, the podcast, I engage how to navigate societal gaslighting and stay empowered in times of social change.Some of what I'll cover in this episode include:What a period of anomie looks likeGaslighting and how it's showing up in our livesShifting how you think about and engage stressIntentionally connecting to your values and setting boundariesVisioning through risk assessmentARTICLES REFERENECED IN THIS EPISODE:The Sociology of GaslightingThe Sociological Definition of AnomieAnomie in the Sociological Perspective of Emile DurkheimStop Telling Women They Have Impostor SyndromeIs Someone Gaslighting You?Here's How To spot If You're Being GaslightedEmbracing Stress Is More Important Than Reducing StressUNLIMITED EPISODES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:3 Things You Need to Create Stability in Times of UncertaintyHow to Start MeditatingUnderstanding Your Stress LanguageRelearning Self-LoveGirl, Learn to ApologizeRed Flags in Online businessToxic PositivityCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie!Support the show

Resilience through unexpected career shifts is often something you realize in retrospect. It's natural to feel stress in times of change, especially during unexpected transitions that impact your financial security. It can feel overwhelming when you're walking through them. Once you know that you successfully regained a certain equilibrium in your life you can look back with greater perspective. It's rare these days to have a job that lasts a life time or even to have a linear career journey. We're in a time of transition societally and many people are experiencing that in a very personal way, particularly in their career. One way to gain perspective in the moment is to recall times where you have successfully navigated unexpected shifts in the past. Another way to gain perspective is to tap into other people's experience.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited F. John Potter (aka my dad) to join me in a conversation about what resilience looks like through unexpected career shifts.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: Being open to the unexpectedDecision-making with the support of friendsCourage and defining enoughNavigating unemploymentThe accumulation of skillsThank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.  You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:John's Ignite TalkLeaning Into a Mid-Life Career ChangeThree Things You Need to Create Stability in Times of UncertaintyTao Te ChingCONNECT WITH F. JOHN POTTER:WebsiteCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updates! Support the show

Three things you need to create stability in times of uncertainty are to know yourself, to stay curious, and to build community. We are in a massive period of change and that comes with a great deal of uncertainty. Uncertainty naturally triggers feelings of overwhelm, which make it hard to take action. This is NOT an individual failing. Much of what feeds this instability is systemic, not individual. With that in mind, I invite you to remember that you are part of the system and you DO have power. In order to engage that power and help build a healthier foundation, you need to start with building your own foundation. This will give you the stability to do something different, which is the only way we can begin to create something different. In this episode of Unlimited, I explore the three ways you create stability in times of uncertainty.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Shifting out of overwhelmEstablishing a foundation of self-connectionFear of failure and binary thinkingCultivating a curious mindsetThe necessity of communityThank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.  You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! EPISODES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Can I Make Plans YetReflections and A Way ForwardGetting Comfortable in The UncomfortableRelearning Self-LoveClarifying What You WantValues Aligned LeadershipHow to Stop Reacting and Start RespondingShift From Drained to MotivatedUnderstanding Your Stress LanguageYou're More Than Your Personality TestTo Emotional Awareness and BeyondSetting Healthy BoundariesHow to Say No Without GuiltHow to Prioritize Your NeedsCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updates!Support the show

Values aligned leadership is central to running a values aligned business. Companies of any size that want to go beyond checking boxes must intentionally cultivate leadership based in clear values. A company's most valuable asset is its people. Centering humanity at all levels of a company supports morale, efficiency, quality of work, and, ultimately, company health. Unfortunately, many people haven't experienced examples of values aligned leadership and that makes it hard to create.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Alesia Galati to join me in a conversation about what values aligned leadership looks like in practice.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: Aligning personal and business valuesSetting boundaries and expectationsConsidering employee AND client experienceToo little or too much work is a problemInvesting in your teamThank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.  You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Creating a Human-Centered Work Culture with Marissa BadgleyThe Pressure to Love Your Job with Cristin DownsWhy Work Life Balance is a MythWinners Take All – the Elite Charade of Changing the World by Anand Giridharadas The Four Agreements – A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel RuizCONNECT WITH ALESIA GALATI:WebsiteLinkedInFacebookInstagramListeners to Leads Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show

“Am I just making excuses?” is something most people wonder at some point when they are not following through on something they say they want to do. From health goals to work goals, the story we're surrounded by is that of weakness. It's self-sabotage. You aren't trying hard enough, so you don't want it badly enough. It's lack of maturity. Basically, whatever the details of the message are, the energy is judgmental and shame inducing. This is the messaging because we've learned to use shame to motivate even though it doesn't work. Actually, all it really does is block us from discovering what's really going on and accessing our ability to find a solution.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore understanding why and alternatives to asking if you're just making excuses.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:What is an excuseReasons people make excusesSeparating identity from behaviorHow to stop making excusesSupporting aligned actionThank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.  You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! LINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Deep Self Care to Shift HabitsIt's Simple, So Why Am I Not Doing It?CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates!Support the show

How to Prioritize Your Needs in a supportive way means going beyond Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. People often reference this motivational theory when trying to understand behavior and choices. It's popular because it creates a simple framework that makes sense in our hierarchical, over-individualized society. It's problematic for the same reason, AND because it's based in a highly biased study influenced by the colonial corruption of native wisdom. Additionally, modern neuroscience now provides evidence of the inaccuracies of this model. To create a healthier way of being in the world, we need a healthier approach to understanding and honoring our needs.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore deconstructing Maslow's Hierarchy and creating an intuitive approach to prioritizing your needs.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Understanding Maslow's hierarchy of needsNeuroscience of belongingDecolonizing self-actualizationDiscerning your prioritiesThank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.  You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast!LINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Why Work Life Balance Is a MythWhat's Killing My MotivationThe Pressure to Love Your JobManaging with the Brain in MindThe Blackfoot Origins of Maslow's Hierarchy of NeedsSimply Psychology - Maslow's Hierarchy Of NeedsNational Women's History Museum - Sarah Moore GrimkéIn Defense of Witches – The Legacy of the Witch Hunts and Why Women Are Still On Trial by Mona CholletThe Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate CONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updates!Support the show

Creating a human-centered work culture is the antidote to the burnout that is now pervasive in the work place. While learning how to create a human-centered work culture is of particular importance to managers and leaders in organizations, it is not for them alone. Brains love patterns and, without intentional engagement, people carry this dehumanizing relationship with work when they leave a particular workplace and even into their own entrepreneurship. So, regardless of your current work or workplace, we all need tools to intentionally engage our relationship to work. Being able to understand, create, and advocate for healthy boundaries in work is a skill that benefits everyone. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Marissa Badgley, MSW to join me in a conversation about creating a human-centered work culture.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Why companies need an intentional cultureThe importance of compassion AND accountabilityThe multiple layers and impact of trust in organizationsSetting boundaries and creating team buy-inWho gets a seat at your table and creating a safe tableThank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.  You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast!CONNECT WITH MARISSA BADGLEY:WebsiteLinkedInFacebookInstagramThe Millennial Manager CollectiveCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updates!Support the show

Leaning into a mid-life career change isn't easy. Yet it is a reality for many people, especially Moms, and even more so recently. This change often challenges our identity, worth, and sense of place since we are socialized to intertwine these aspects of our life. The woman I work with in this episode reached out to me feeling STUCK. A recent ADHD diagnosis rocked her world. Due to the reverberations of this diagnosis, she made the decision to leave a job that felt like the perfect fit in many ways. Her hope in signing up for a session was to gain a sense of how to figure out what to do next and that it will all be okay. In this episode of Unlimited, you'll hear us explore the process of reimagining purpose through leaning into a mid-life career change.Some of what we engage in this episode include:Re-centering in yourselfStepping into the unknownIdentifying what's important in workFinding your next stepThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval  I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can send me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram AND don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast!   LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Apply to be coached for free on the podcastSchedule a FREE exploration call CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie!Support the show

What to do when you've fallen behind isn't push yourself harder. It's pause and allow yourself to recalibrate. Understandably, you may experience resistance. We are surrounded by stories that tell us that failing to plan for all the things is a personal failing. Additionally, there's a constant message that we aren't doing enough. This conditioning programs us to set unreasonable expectations, beat ourselves up when we don't meet them, and push harder. The good news is that you can change this unsustainable way of being. In order to change, you must first notice the stories and the patterns they make in your life. Next you must know what is yours and what isn't and where you have choices. Finally, you must allow yourself to choose something different.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore reclaiming your journey when you've fallen behind.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Using shame as motivationStories that perpetuate cycles of harmDisappointing othersPersonality traits that break you downLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:You're More Than Your Personality TestWhat's Killing My Motivation?Helpful vs Harmful Mindset WorkBonus Episode: Give Yourself A BreakThe Myth of Normal by Gabor MatéRest is Resistance by Tricia HerseyCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie!Support the showSupport the show

 The pressure to love your job is something you've likely experienced whether you love your job or not. In the United States, we are surrounded by the story that you achieve success through having a job you love. Perhaps success is simply that you enjoy the privilege of doing a job you love. Another possibility is that you won't feel like you're doing work, will then work harder, and therefore create success. (Likewise, this story also perpetuates the idea that working hard will always lead to success.) What this story obscures is that loving your work doesn't make it not work. Ultimately, this story is designed to keep you from setting boundaries and instead buy into your own exploitation.  In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Cristin Downs to join me in a conversation about understanding and releasing the pressure to love your job.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes: The purpose of pressure to love your jobThe burnout cycle that keeps you stuckExpectations when applying for a jobLeadership examples and quiet quittingFreeing your identity from your jobSetting boundaries around workThank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, please share it! Take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.  You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Job You Love Quote InvestigatorWork Won't Love You Back by Sarah JaffeBullshit Jobs by David GraeberA History of the World in Seven Cheap Things by Raj Patel & Jason W. MooreCONNECT WITH CRISTIN DOWNS:InstagramFree ResourcesCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie!Support the showSupport the show

WHY work life balance is a myth is as important to understand as knowing that it is one. It's important because the way a topic is framed has a large impact on how we think about it. It directs our focus and influences the options we perceive. Most people I speak with consciously know there is no real balance between work and life. Yet work/life balance is still used to describe a primary challenge facing people. The fundamental issue with the term work/life balance isn't just that such a thing doesn't exist. The issue is also the framing of our struggle being one of work/life balance and the assumptions on which that framing is based. One assumption is that working has equal priority to living. Another is that they are oppose each other. Thus, the challenge of work/life balance is a fictious one based on inhumane assumptions that prevent creating healthy and sustainable ways of being in the world. In this episode of Unlimited, I explore the roots of the work/life balance myth and how the myth perpetuates itself as a problem.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:What is work/life balanceThe history of work/life balanceThe deep problem with the term work/life balanceA starting place to create what you want in lifeWhat to expect in Season 3 of UnlimitedLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Truly Experiences - The History of Work Life BalanceOxford Bibliographies – Work/Life BalancePositive Psychology – What Is Work Life BalanceForbes – The Evolving Definition of Work/Life BalanceBook – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel RuizBook – Stolen Focus by Johann HariBook – How We Show Up by Mia BirdsongBook – Rest Is Resistance by Tricia HerseyUnlimited Episode – Dealing With Impostor SyndromeCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie!Apply to be coached on the podcastAsk ValSupport the show

A simple way to end the year strong involves allowing yourself a little space for three activities. First, focusing your attention. Second, celebrating your accomplishments. Third, assessing what worked and what didn't and feeding that into your new years plans. Sounds simple, right? Yes, it's a simple outline, but the practice of it is less simple. It can actually be rather confusing and messy. There are many factors that go into the decisions about where you put your focus. There nuances to how you identify accomplishments for the year and especially discerning what worked and what didn't. Not to mention, this may not be your best time for planning.In this episode of Unlimited, we sift through the factors and nuances of the year to clarify your simple way to end the year strong.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:How to focus and de-stress the holidaysWrap up the year with a positive focusReviewing and setting a word of the yearWhat to consider when new year goal settingBuild self-trust and lean into growth LINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Resource page with ‘What to Say' Download7 Ways to Reduce Holiday StressSetting Holiday BoundariesRest Is Resistance by Tricia HerseyHoliday Support Coaching SessionI also reference every episode from Season 2. I'm writing a blog post to map and link everything out and encourage you to join my mailing list for notification when that is completed.CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie!Support the show