Podcasts about gen xers

This week on Ask Farnoosh, we're tackling one of the biggest money questions of all: When can I retire?Inspired by a viral Instagram reel about repeatedly refreshing a retirement calculator in hopes of finding financial freedom, Farnoosh breaks down how to determine your retirement readiness—and why retirement may not be the right goal at all. Instead, what if the goal is optionality?In this episode:Why so many Gen Xers are obsessed with retirement calculatorsHow to calculate your "freedom number"The 4% rule explained simplyWhy Social Security may be worth more than you thinkHow home equity changes the retirement equationFour retirement personality typesPractical ways to move your retirement date closerWhy burnout—not retirement—may be the real issuePlus:Farnoosh weighs in on the controversy surrounding Belle Burden's bestselling memoir Strangers following a recent New Yorker investigation.An update on the new Trump Accounts program, including why Farnoosh believes it could become one of the most powerful wealth-building tools for children.Related Listening:Retiring on Social Security AloneLearn more about Farnoosh's upcoming literary workshop Book to Brand. Early bird registration is now open! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We kick off this episode of the show by considering various ways a person today might "take the black" (little Game of Thrones reference there). We compare our lists of all-time Spotify streams, and then play a TikTok about Trump's recent DOJ deal, discussing whether such corruption is relatively new or whether it was just more hidden in times past. We compare TV and movies as forms of art, and then we do another segment of "Pastor  Jack's Off" where Jack Hibbs whines about Muslims or something. We close with the suggestion that the cultural touchstone that just may unite Gen-Xers, Millennials, and Gen-Z is Survivor.

Mike and Bill discuss being Gen-Xers, Vertigo's Bleeding Hearts #1, End of Life #1 and The Peril of the Brutal Dark: An Ezra Cain Mystery #1, Savage Dragon #279, Skinbreaker #1, Blackhawk #110, All American Men of War #43, Sisu 2 Road to Revenge, Parenthood, Neighbors, Three Amigos, Funny Farm, Gen V, Old Guard 2, […] The post Geek Brunch 463 – We are lucky to be Gen-X first appeared on DC Noise.

Zacks GenXers Tracey Ryniec and Mark Vickery look back on the late 1990s and compare it with 2026's AI Revolution. (1:00) - What Can We Takeaway From The Past Stock Market Bubbles? (10:15) - Will AI Be The Next Dot-com Bubble? (21:45) - Breaking Down The Current Valuation of The AI Trade Right Now? (46:45) - Episode Roundup: MSFT, GOOGL, NVDA

Most people know Social Security exists, but very few understand where it came from, what it was actually designed to do, or why the math behind it looks the way it does today. Before you make any decisions about when to file, you need to understand the full picture. In today's conversation, Nic and Randy clear the table on all things Social Security. From its origins in 1935 and the generational math that's quietly straining the trust fund, to the real trade-offs between filing at 62 versus waiting until 70. This episode is designed to replace fear and confusion with clarity and confidence. ⸻ ⏱️ Episode Highlights [00:35] – The origin story: How Otto von Bismarck's walk through the streets of Europe gave birth to the concept of Social Security. [01:25] – The design problem: Why Social Security was never meant to be a pension, and how we turned it into one. [03:01] – The generational math: 72 million Baby Boomers drawing down. 29 million Gen Xers paying in. Why don't the numbers add up? [06:37] – The Millennial factor: Why 80 million Echo Boomers may be the unlikely heroes of the Social Security story. [08:10] – Filing at 62: When taking Social Security early is actually the right decision, and why no one should guilt you out of it. [10:39] – Waiting until 70: The case for an 8% guaranteed compound growth rate that almost nothing else can match. [13:45] – The trust fund reality: What depletion between 2033 and 2034 actually means, and why 70 to 75% of benefits are still projected to be paid by 2070. [14:50] – Beyond retirement: Why Social Security also matters for widows, survivors, and disability benefits. ⸻ Links & Resources Mentioned • Email: connect@meritfa.com • Website: meritfinancialadvisors.com ⸻ Closing Thoughts If today's episode resonated with you, please rate, follow, share, and leave a comment, it helps us reach more people who deserve clarity over confusion when it comes to Social Security. If you don't have a Social Security filing plan or you're unsure when and how to file based on your situation, reach out at connect@meritfa.com. We'd love to help you make the right call,  on your terms, not out of fear. Stay coachable! Investment advice offered through Merit Financial Group, LLC., an SEC-registered investment adviser.  

May 19, 2026 ~ Chris and Lloyd find out about the $600 million being spent on Michigan's Gubernatorial race; ask about expanded Amazon drone deliveries in the area; learn why Gen Xers are drinking and socializing less and hear about scrap tires being used to repair Michigan's roads. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

BUY THE SLOW LIVING BOOK HERE! Feeling stretched thin between student loans, raising kids, career pressure, and caring for aging parents? In this episode Stephanie dives into why so many Millennials and Gen Xers feel overwhelmed, overcommitted, and stuck chasing a version of “caught up” that never seems to arrive. She explores the hidden cost of constantly saying yes, the moving goalpost of success, and why more money or more time doesn't always create more peace.Stephanie shares practical ways to embrace slow living, protect your time and energy, and focus on what truly matters in this season of life. From redefining what “enough” looks like to stepping away from quiet competition and burnout culture, this episode offers encouragement and actionable mindset shifts for anyone craving a simpler, more intentional life. If you're ready to create more balance, peace, and purpose, this conversation is one you won't want to miss.Want to know more about living a slowed down life?!Simple Shortcuts to Peace Course - https://stephanieodea.com/peaceNew Year, New You Mini Challenge - https://stephanieodea.com/newyouJoin me for my LIVE Masterclass - https://stephanieodea.com/masterclass/Website - https://stephanieodea.comBlog - https://stephanieodea.com/blog/Slow Living Podcast - https://stephanieodea.com/podcastSpeaking Opportunities - https://stephanieodea.com/speaking/Coaching Opportunities - https://stephanieodea.com/coaching/Courses - https://stephanieodea.com/courses/Contact - stephanieodea.com/contact/

Hot off the news that he's just sold one million copies of his books, my wonderfully talented friend, KING OF ASHES and ALL THE SINNERS BLEED novelist S.A. Cosby returns to the pod this week for a delightful episode Gen Xers in particular will love. Listen in as we wax nostalgic, nerdy, & philosophical about the American independent film scene, video stores, actors with faces, Sundance, the New Queer Cinema movement, & iconoclastic filmmakers of the 1990s. We started with groundbreaking director Gregg Araki's TEEN APOCALYPSE TRILOGY, then went everywhere, & obviously, fittingly, NOWHERE. The three main films in the trilogy that we discuss are TOTALLY F***ED UP, THE DOOM GENERATION, and NOWHERE, but we bring in myriad other films, directors, and actors from this terrific era that valued original voices and stories that no one else could tell.Orginally Posted on Patreon (5/14/26) here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/158267662Donate to the Pod via Ko-fi & PayPal Shop Watch With Jen logo Merchandise in Logo Designer Kate Gabrielle's Threadless ShopTheme Music: Solo Acoustic Guitar by Jason Shaw, Free Music Archive

Broadcasting LIVE from Black Matt Studios, THE BOOMXERS are four friends too young to be Baby Boomers but too old to be GenXers. We get together every week to Jibber Jabber about music, entertainment, rural news, crazy inventions, portmanteaus, and so much more. Featuring the phenomenal music quiz known as JIMMY READS.

How Sabado Walked Away From the Corporate Machine at 51 Guest: Sabado, The Everyday RetireeAfter 25 years leading HR for Fortune 500 companies, Sabado walked away from corporate at 51 after realizing he was being paid 40 percent below market while the goalposts kept moving.Today, he is a University of California Certified Master Gardener and the voice behind Ask Sabado, where Gen Xers come for real retirement strategy, financial freedom, and the wellness side of building a life beyond the 9 to 5.His philosophy is simple:When you ditch the corporate calendar, Saturdays become a permanent state of mind.

With Commencement season upon us, the State System of Higher Education is sending thousands of graduates out into the workforce. Nearly 20,000 students are graduating from state system universities. Nearly 90% of the students are from Pennsylvania and most graduates stay in the state. Four-day school schedules are gaining in popularity across the country. Starting this fall, students at a Catholic secondary school in Williamsport, Lycoming County are joining the trend.The State Department of Health is working closely with health care providers in Lebanon County after three individuals were hospitalized with measles. The Office of State Inspector General has new office space in Forum Place in Harrisburg.  State Inspector General Michelle Henry says the move allows her entire department to be located on one floor, as opposed to three.A state House committee is advancing a suite of six bills to combat child sex trafficking Wellspan Health has officially opened Wellspan Carlisle Hospital.  It's the third new hospital Wellspan has opened this year following locations in Newberry and Shrewsbury, York County. York is being awarded $1.5 million to help city officials convert the vacant Dentsply Sirona property into affordable housing including 81 apartments, plus retail and office space. York's funding is part of a total of $10 million Governor Shapiro is awarding for affordable housing programs across the state.Who owns blighted homes in the city of Reading? The answer is often unclear. And it's hampering city officials from tracking down those owners and ultimately increasing the city's housing stock and tax base. You can learn more about this story on our website, here. And now it's time for our weekly segment called The Bright Spot. Every Friday, I'll share a positive news story that may have gotten lost amid this week's news cycle.  Today's bright spot is this: There's a new free online quiz to predict and plan for longevity. It's good timing, as the oldest millennials turn 45 this year - and the oldest Gen Xers are 60. What's your longevity score? Take the quiz and find out, in a story from NPR, linked here. 

On this episode of the NCS Podcast we talked to Jare C of the Lavender Room. The Lavender room is a queer ran mutual aid DIY promo and production team. We talked to Jare about her beginning and coming to buffalo and her work with the Lavender Room. We also talked to Jare about her band All Main Points. We learned a lot about all of the great work she is doing to help queer youth and the disenfranchised in general and with us of straight Gen Xers it was cool to be educated on what she is doing and the ideas behind it. Was definitely an informative episode. We recommend supporting the Lavender room in any way that you can.https://linktr.ee/lavenderroomny

On this episode of the NCS Podcast we talked to Jare C of the Lavender Room. The Lavender room is a queer ran mutual aid DIY promo and production team. We talked to Jare about her beginning and coming to buffalo and her work with the Lavender Room. We also talked to Jare about her band All Main Points. We learned a lot about all of the great work she is doing to help queer youth and the disenfranchised in general and with us of straight Gen Xers it was cool to be educated on what she is doing and the ideas behind it. Was definitely an informative episode. We recommend supporting the Lavender room in any way that you can.https://linktr.ee/lavenderroomny

REALITY BITES —  I am Gen X. I'm telling you this because, well, this is hardly something that is ever relevant to any conversation when, in fact, it is also always relevant to everything. But I just don't talk about it because who cares when I was born, or that we Gen Xers all live in the long and darkest of dark shadow of Boomers, or the loud echo of Millennials, or the annoyingly brash and unknowing living of whatever the other younger generations are called. I'm Gen X, and I just know one thing: there are more of you than there are of me, and there always have been. I'm saying all this because today we're gonna talk about Geezer magazine, as if any Gen X-er in their right mind would ever call themselves a geezer, because that's Boomer stuff. And hey, did you see we're turning 60? For fuck's sake. As if. So yes, Geezer, a magazine by and for Gen X that is both completely irreverent and surprisingly serious and even tender, that balances nostalgia with irony. And while Gen X's favorite word might be whatever, the secret is we care what you think. We always have. You just have to first extract a whole lot of other stuff, that cold exterior built up as a defense mechanism against a world that is stupid, and that for whatever reason the Boomers keep running. Meaning sure, we like to say never mind, but we also sang “Don't You Want Me” and “Debaser.” So just take a chill pill. I promise we'll talk about a rad magazine on today's show.. — This episode is made possible by our friends at Freeport Press. A production of Magazeum LLC ©2021–2025

Raleigh's next wave is here. Some make a living—others make a mission. Across the city, a cohort of savvy young Gen Xers and elder millennials are channeling their drive into something bigger: turning ideas into action and igniting the city's next chapter in real time. Meet the people refusing to play it safe—and shaping what's next for Raleigh. Raleigh Magazine's Firestarter 40sStay in the KnowGet SocialMeet Our Sponsors:SwimWoodhouse Spa RaleighTimber PizzaGet the issue to your door! Subscribe Now

Our need and desire for connection doesn't retire as we grow older. NextAge Season 2 explores love, intimacy, and companionship in the second half of life.Through personal stories and expert insight, we're covering topics from digital dating, sex, and changing bodies to medical myths, healing psyches and long-held identities finally coming into full expression. Today's episode kicks off another season of our special series featuring stories and information about growing older in the 21st century — and how Middle Tennesseans are reframing aging. In Tennessee, our population that's 60-plus now includes the oldest GenXers and is projected to grow by 30% in the next 15 years. Today, we review some of the stories and topics from last year and how it led to new reporting on  what it means to keep falling in love with others — and ourselves.Guests: LaTonya Turner, news editor & on-air host, WPLN News Natasha Senjanovic, journalist & contributing producer

Send us Fan MailRetirement today looks nothing like it did a generation ago. With fewer pensions, longer lifespans, and more personal responsibility, the real question isn't when you retire, it's who you become next.In this conversation, Joy Levin, Certified Professional Retirement Coach reframes retirement as an encore chapter; one rooted in values, meaning, community, and intentional experimentation.Key Takeaways

This week Eileen and special guest Kimmi Berlin, founder and creator of the non-profit organization BuildUpBoys discuss parenting, mentoring, and nurturing boys. These two GenXers are all too familiar with the clear gender roles of generations past which is why they had so much fun criticizing cultural norms and challenging society's idea of what a man should or shouldn't be. Boys aren't bad, it isn't in their biology. We can nurture boys' ability to remain attuned to their emotions, love unabashedly, and communicate. Turns out boys will be boys... but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. BuildUpBoys serves boys from Pre-K through 6th grade. But also educate their parents, grandparents, caretakers, teachers, and coaches on why encouraging them to feel, express, and regulate their entire range of emotions is so important. If you would like more information or to donate, please visit www.buildupboys.comSupport the showStrangers With Kittens is a podcast created by Eileen Kelly and Produced by Ashley Aker. You can listen to full podcast episodes on Spotify, Amazon, Audible, and Apple Podcasts. Follow Strangers With Kittens On Social Media Facebook InstagramTikTokYouTubeKeep The Conversation Going https://www.strangerswithkittens.com/

Gen Xer and Goldmine editor Patrick Prince talks to his co-host, Gen Zer Holden Russiano, about this year's Record Store Day experience at Luna Records in Franklin, Tennessee (and, of course, other record stores). What RSD releases sold the most? Was there an overnight line? How many people showed up? Was there a great sale on used records? The hosts run the gamut, and discovered that they liked the used records that they found on sale as much as the RSD releases that they were lucky to pick up. Overall, a great day for record collectors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send a FanMail to the GenX Stories gang via text message!Ever wondered what happens when an entire cruise ship full of Gen Xers decide to relive the greatest decade? Wonder no more. In this week's episode, we're taking you aboard the 80s Cruise - where the fanny packs are unironic, the hair is big, and the hits just keep on coming. We're talking live concerts, old-school heartthrobs, neon everything, and a crowd that still knows every single word to every single song. Whether you're a die-hard cruise lover or someone who swore they'd never set foot on a ship, this episode may have you reconsidering your stance fast. Plus we have a kick ass guest sitting in with us  who just came back from her second 80s cruise and is already signed up for her third (and planning for her 4th so she can offically “graduate”.)So is the 80's cruise totally rad or totally bogus? Listen now and you can be the judge.Episode links80's cruise official websiteBest Moments of the 2025 80's cruise The 80s Cruise: Why A Music Theme Cruise is the Best Party at SeaVideos from the 80's cruiseInstagram for #The80scruiseReada Kessler infoInstagramThreadsFacebookWTOP RadioWTOP ProfileTelling the traffic story with Reada KesslerConnect with usSubscribe to GenX Stories in your favorite podcast appBuy some kickass merchWrite us a reviewVisit our site

Most people leave corporate and immediately chase the familiar paths — consulting, coaching, fractional work. Those are valid. But they take time, runway, and a warm network. In this episode Brett breaks down three unexpected ways GenXers are generating real income right now, using skills they already have, without needing a big audience or startup capital.The backdrop is an AI world that most people are reading completely wrong. AI didn't shrink the opportunity for skilled humans — it exploded it. Because now there's an entire population of people who are aware of their problems, have access to the information, and will still pay someone else to just handle it.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN✅ Why AI makes YOUR corporate skills more valuable, not less✅ The "skill flip" model — how to charge for what you already know✅ What UGC is, why GenX is uniquely positioned for it, and how to start✅ How to turn what you know into paying clients without building a course empire✅ Why your first dollar outside corporate changes everythingTHE 3 PATHS01 — The skill flipTomi Mikula spent 10 years on the dealer side of car sales. He now runs Delivrd — charging consumers $1,000 flat to negotiate car deals on their behalf. 300 customers a month. $300K in monthly revenue. His customers could use AI to do what he does. They pay him anyway. Because the problem was never information — it was execution, accountability, and not wanting to deal with it. That's the model. Find a high-stress transaction, one side has information the other side doesn't, and charge to be the expert in the room. HR disputes, salary negotiation, medical billing, contractor bids — it's everywhere.02 — UGC (User Generated Content)Brands are paying real people — not influencers — to record short videos about products they actually use. No following required. Platforms like Billo and JoinBrands connect brands with creators, paying $150–$500 per video. GenX is ideal for this: authentic, credible, and speaks to a demographic most brands can't reach. Brett just signed two deals in one week for just under $1,000 combined. You don't need an audience. You need a phone, a face, and something real to say.03 — Teaching what you knowNot a course empire — just solving one specific problem for one specific person who's standing exactly where you were. The AI translation angle is huge right now: small business owners know they're falling behind and will pay someone who speaks both business AND AI to help them catch up. And you don't need to be far ahead — you just need to be far enough ahead. The people in Brett's community who are winning fastest are teaching hyper-specific things to people one or two steps behind them on the journey.MEMORABLE QUOTE"The problem was never information. It's about execution, accountability, and people just not wanting to deal with it. Your 20 to 30 years of corporate experience puts you right in the middle of that opportunity."

We talk to Hogan Gidley about Iran, then a detailed mission ops from Jim Carafano. Wiggins America looks at the worthless advice Gen Xers got that doesn't matter now.

A preview episode into why you ought to order my new book & watch the show Landman. You have 2 order options: Signed copies: https://www.coachbru.com/shop/p/crude-wisdomVia Amazon: https://amzn.to/4tF4RaXBook Description: Crude Wisdom is a fast-paced, humorous, and practical leadership guide that turns high-stakes drama into real-world decision-making tools.Using on-screen case studies from the hit Paramount+ series Landman as “film room” breakdowns, this book translates chaos into coaching — showing leaders how to stay steady, act decisively, and keep teams together when everything is on fire (sometimes literally).Written in the sharp, conversational style John Brubaker has become famous for, this book blends storytelling, leadership insight, and team culture clarity. Each chapter walks through a real crisis moment from the show, breaks down what worked and what didn't, and connects it to proven principles from business, sports, military leadership, and history. The result is a field manual for anyone who leads under pressure — without reading like a boring textbook or powerpoint deck.You'll learn how to:​Make better decisions when the clock is against you​Communicate clearly when stakes are high​Build teams that hold under pressure​Create cultures that tell the truth early​Turn setbacks into strategic advantages​Lead with calm instead of noise​Use humor and perspective to keep people moving​Install crisis habits before crisis hitsWhether you lead a company, a team, a classroom, or a crew, this book delivers practical crisis leadership lessons with grit, wit, and straight talk.Because plans fail. Pressure arrives. And leaders are revealed — not when things go right, but when they go wrong.

In this episode of The Clay Edwards Show, Clay delivers a refreshingly honest reminder that it's not only okay — it's healthy — to have real passions and interests outside of politics and the endless culture war. He opens up about his personal Facebook page, where politics barely exists. Instead, it's packed with pictures of his dogs, animal rescue shares, killer food, wrestling, sports, boxing, MMA, and all the fun stuff that actually makes life worth living. Clay pushes back hard against the toxic crowd that hunts him down on his personal profile just to attack him, acting like you're not allowed to enjoy anything if you have strong political opinions. As a proud Gen Xer, he celebrates how his generation made it normal for grown men to still collect the toys they loved as kids — GI Joes, Star Wars figures, wrestling memorabilia — and to keep enjoying comic books, action movies, and the hobbies that bring real joy. “Wrestling's fake? So is the news you watch every night,” he quips with classic Clay humor. Politics and culture war battles aren't #1 or even #2 in his life, and he says they don't have to be in yours either. This one's a fun, human, no-BS segment about balance, joy, and remembering there's a whole world outside the outrage machine.

Rob and Darren welcome fellow Gen Xer, social media guru, and the host of the podcast The Dad Bod Veteran, Jon, for a discussion about getting older and embracing the changes that come with it. From slowing metabolisms and the realities of andropause to sleep habits and stand-up comedy, the conversation reflects on life in the Gen X era. They also talk about podcasting, fatherhood, and the experiences that shape the “dad bod” phase of life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is all about the stress of people — managing them, working with them, attending to them, etc. Tiff and Kristy discuss what it means to manage results and lead people, and how sticking to systems of accountability in your practice can take a lot of that stress off your shoulders. Episode resources: Subscribe to The Dental A-Team podcast Schedule a Practice Assessment Leave us a review Transcript: The Dental A Team (00:00) Hello, Dental A Team listeners. We are back here today with another amazing podcast. I say that because I just know this is gonna be incredible content. I'll introduce myself again. I realized a podcast ago that I never introduced myself. I'm Tiffanie I am a consultant, a dental consultant here with the Dental A Team. I've been here for a really long time, so I guess I just assume everybody has also been here for a really long time. I think everybody's like my best friend and I sit here.   on this podcast, Kristy with you and with all of the listeners, just talking to my best friend. Like that's just how I roll. So I'll take the moment to say hello, welcome. Thank you to those who have been listening for a long time or a short time or a new today. We love being able to reach new people. Part of our mission is to reach as many people as we possibly can. And it's worded much better than that, but that's the gist of it. And Kiera, know, get, Kiera likes to quiz us.   every now and again and I fail every time you guys. It's just like words in my brain get jumbled. It's okay, it's totally fine. So our mission is here. We are so excited to welcome you. Kristy, I am excited to welcome you here with me today. You have been on a podcast roll with me. We have busted out so many. I really truly appreciate you for that and for so many other reasons. So thank you for being here today, Kristy.   The Dental A Team (01:18) Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm excited.   The Dental A Team (01:21) Yeah, thank you. We have been chatting quite a few things. KPIs, I think this is the month of KPIs and results and it makes sense because Q1 is behind us. We're rolling into Q2 and making sure that we are set for success because my opinion is if we wait until November, but even July, if we're like, gosh, Q3, what are we doing? What are we doing? You're already behind you guys. You got a lot to make up at that point. You might as well just start now.   I love this role that we've been on today. We also always get to hit some personal development pieces, which is fun as well. So today, where this podcast right now, we really want to talk about the human side of things. Kristy, something that I notice, I get the luxury of seeing Dental A Team from all of the different sides. I get to see it from sales side, from marketing side, from development side, like all of education, from consulting.   every space of Dental A Team, I feel like I have a little toe dipped in there, just because I've been here for so long and I've helped in so many different facets to create what we are doing today. And with that, I get to see all of the different reasons that all of our clients are attractive to us and the people who are not yet clients or have just come for, know, tell me what my gap is and let me work on it. All those people, all the doctors, all the teams,   are typically coming and they're saying, I say this all the time, they're saying systems, right? We need systems. Clean up my systems, Kristy. My systems are broken. And they're like, please. And I've watched it. I've watched new to Dental A Team consultants be like, okay, let's start and we'll dig into systems. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait. Do we know that that system's broken? Like, let's take a step back and really figure out what it is, what it is and why you're actually here.   because your systems is the word that you're using to describe your issue, your symptom. And what typically is happening is we have stress. Things aren't working. They're not aligning just right. And we think, well, my systems are broken then. And your systems may not be broken. They may need adjusting or we may need to add some systems. We may need to do away with some old systems, right?   I've got practices that I'm like, think we're just billing this way because we like to, because we've always done it this way. I have to tell you, side tangent for a second, I love this office and when they listen to this, they're gonna know exactly who they are.   I was like, what do you mean you have a black book? What is a black book? Like I don't understand what this is. And they're like, Tiff, like you don't understand how much time we're spending tracking metrics. You're saying we're not tracking. And I'm like, well, I just need them on this Excel sheet. Like where are they at? And they have this old school accounting black book. Like I can't even show you how big it is. It's just like this massive ledger and they have a pencil and these little tiny cells and every day they're writing.   The Dental A Team (04:17) you   The Dental A Team (04:26) production, adjustments, collections, where the collections is coming from. And I was like, wow, Open Dental tells us all of this every day. You just have to print it. You can even keep it. You don't need to, because it's always accessible. But if it makes you feel better, print it daily and keep it. What are we doing? And so I say that because there are some systems that are just like, we've just always done that. My dad owned the practice and this is how he did it. And it was successful and cool.   We can keep doing it or we don't have to. It's up to you. But the stress is actually the underlying issue and it's usually financial stress or misunderstandings, missed expectations. I expected to make more money than I did. I expected to be able to do my expansion and I can't. I expected to have another dentist on board. I expected to be able to find a hygienist. I expected someone else to talk to all the...   team members on my team. It's missed expectations and it's stresses. And Kristy, something I wanted to dive into today was really how, one, I do think systems help those things. So yes, there is a deep dive onto the systems, but really understanding the stress behind a lot of it and the why I think is key. And Kristy, I don't know if you noticed this in your office, just tell me what you see.   I think one of the number one stressors that I see for doctors, for business owners, and for even office managers who have already taken on this role and doctors have delegated this to them, one of the number one stresses that I see is the stress of people. It's dealing with people, right? Whether it's the patients or the team, but really the HR management side of managing people, like dentistry is not hard, right? Work isn't hard, people are hard. And dealing with that,   tends to be the crux of a lot of stress for doctors that they think the systems will fix, which we'll dive into how they can help that. But Kristy, do you agree? Are you seeing that within your practices as well?   The Dental A Team (06:34) Yeah, 100 % across the board, whether it's doctors or leadership, it's definitely the people driven. And you hear the things like, people just don't show up like they used to or, you know, those little sayings are, they don't respect our time. And so yes, 100 % from patients to team members, to be honest with you, but people.   The Dental A Team (06:55) Yeah. I agree.   I agree. I get the like work ethic, like work ethics changed. These Gen Zers or Gen Xers or Gen whatevers. They're different. And I'm like, yeah, they are different. 2020 taught us a lot of things and things are different now. And we can keep standing here saying, you know, we want to be on this box that was old and is breaking or we can move forward onto the new box. I totally agree with that.   The Dental A Team (07:03) Yeah   Thank you.   The Dental A Team (07:25) When I think of stress of people, I agree. I think people can be hard. Managing people can be hard. And I think leading people is a very different statement. And leading people makes management easy, if that makes sense. I believe in managing results and leading people. Systems without accountability.   The Dental A Team (07:50) Mm-hmm.   The Dental A Team (07:54) lead to micromanagement and a lot of stress around your people management.   The Dental A Team (07:59) I agree 100 % Tiffanie, you said that like so spot on. And accountability is one of those things that everybody wants and everybody's gonna also gripe about. But I will also say, I was privileged to go, I think it was one of the HR companies like Cedar, Ben Erickson or one of them had talked about. ⁓   You know, they do this stuff day in and day out. And they said the number one reason somebody will leave you is because you don't have accountability. And the number one thing they'll complain about is accountability. So it really cemented it. I mean, coming from an HR company that deals with people all day, every day, and probably the worst of the people ⁓ saying that really, really taught me that we need that clarity. Every one of us needs that clarity and we all need that accountability.   And so you're spot on. And when we can make it about that clarity, what we're looking for and not so much about the person, it makes the leadership a lot easier. You're like, uh-huh.   The Dental A Team (09:09) Absolutely.   Yes. Yes. And that's, think, what I mean by managing the results. Right? And I even that what you just said right there is like not making it about the person. I just had a call right before we started podcasting. And he was like, gosh, I have, you know, and we've had this. had I had a team member that I was like, my gosh, I think her dryer is broken. Like, she smells like mold. Right. Or we're wearing way too much perfume. that shirt is way too low cut. that's not really appropriate.   The Dental A Team (09:16) Yeah.   The Dental A Team (09:39) Gosh, I had a girl that would wear the wrong color sweater and I'm like, it's black. Like we just, it's black. That's all we got, black and white. That's all you got, right? And this blue, like I know this Navy is really close to black, but it's not black. Those conversations, those are the stressors, right? It's hard. It's like, come on. And my doctors are like, we're all adults. I agree with you, but we're all gonna do whatever we can to get away with whatever we can. And if we're gonna slide in a Navy blue sweater, because it almost looks black.   The Dental A Team (09:45) Hahaha!   Yeah.   The Dental A Team (10:08) except for next to my black shirt, right? And if I don't say anything, I don't hold the person accountable to our dress code, the next thing I know, she's wearing a light blue sweater. And Marjorie in the back, she decided hot pink was cool today. And I'm like, what is happening you guys? Well, guess what? I didn't hold accountability to the lines. We had a boundary and the boundary was crossed and I didn't use clear as kind and hold the boundary. And it is clear as kind.   It's like, hey, love the sweater. Just keep in mind, remember, it's gotta be black or white. I do love it though, it just doesn't fit within our guidelines. Period. There's no questions. And it's kind. I don't dislike the sweater. It's just not appropriate for the office, right? Love the enthusiasm. Let's use this verbiage with that enthusiastic flair. Let's see if we get a different result.   The Dental A Team (11:07) Yeah.   The Dental A Team (11:07) It's less about, because it's not the person. She's not a bad person for trying to wear a blue sweater. She was in a hurry. She was in a hurry that morning and she grabbed what she could and she thought it would be fine. I remember the day like it was yesterday because she was like, what? It's fine. And I was like, it's not. I get it and I understand. But if I don't say anything, like if I'm going to say something to someone else, I have to say it to you too. And it's my job and I'm just.   I'm upholding the standards. So it's not a big deal. I don't want you to feel attacked like you're fine, we're fine. We're black tomorrow. And if I need to get you a black sweater, tell me, I'll order you a black sweater. Right? It doesn't have, it doesn't, wasn't about her, right? It's not, there's nothing wrong with the person. Right now it's about the result. And when we make it about the person, it is really hard. And when I get doctors that are like, I don't want to hurt her feelings.   The Dental A Team (11:54) Mm-hmm.   The Dental A Team (12:05) Well, you've made it about the person. Now it's about the person. But is there something wrong with her that you have to this conversation? Or is this conversation about something that's completely outside of her? They're like, well, no, right? She's wearing too much perfume. Cool. Love your perfume. Could be an issue for our patients. Please dial it back. It's not about her, right?   The Dental A Team (12:30) Yeah.   The Dental A Team (12:33) And I told my doctor recently, one of my doctors that I had a similar conversation with, I said, I have to take a step back. That same thought process goes through my mind too. It happens to all of us because we're like, I don't want to turn people away. I don't wanna push anybody away. I don't wanna lose anyone. It's our survival mechanisms are in tune with saying, don't push people away. Pad the situation and be nice so that people don't run away. But nice.   I think of it this way, whenever I feel it, I'm like, nope, take a step back, because I have to think and consider if I feel that I have to be nice and not be clear and kind, if I feel that I have to be nice, I am also then saying that this person across from me is not strong enough to take a clear and kind conversation, and I'm.   Like, what's the word I want? Making them smaller by being nice to protect them because they can't handle it and protect themselves. So to me, I have to tell myself that story often because it feels way worse to say the person on the other side of this conversation can't handle this conversation than to say I might hurt her feelings for a moment by telling her that her perfume is too strong. at the end of the day, she's gonna be like, cool, I'm gonna say perfume.   The Dental A Team (13:58) Mm-hmm.   The Dental A Team (14:02) she's gonna be fine, right? Like we make these situations so much bigger than they need to be and we stress on the potential outcomes because the people management is hard. But the lines are there, the boundaries are there, the accountability is there. And when we hire capable, strong people and we believe in the human, the conversation's gonna go fine.   The Dental A Team (14:23) Yeah, Tiff, I love that you said that. it's kind of funny because it's taking me back to even in office and training things. I'm like, guys, almost all of the situations that we don't like, we've created. And I can almost always prove it. And even in this situation, we create bad employees or people not following the rules because we've created that situation, truly.   The Dental A Team (14:47) Yeah.   The Dental A Team (14:48) be whether it's   The Dental A Team (14:49) Yeah.   The Dental A Team (14:49) not having a caring conversation or whatever it is. I always, to your point, whenever I have to have these type of conversations, I like to follow the rule of state the behavior, what it's causing, and then state the behavior you wish to see. Because again, then you're not putting the person on the spot and you're talking about...   the subject. So even or item like you were saying instead you'd state the blue shirt as you came in. Do you remember this was our guidelines for what we wear? And so moving forward, can you please wear the black or the white? You know, because then it's easy if they don't follow the rules next time to say, hey, we talked about this. You agreed. What's getting in the way of it? It's not it's not attacking that person, but truly   And in leadership, our team is looking to us for holding people accountable in that way, truly. Yeah.   The Dental A Team (15:50) I agree.   I agree. Go ahead.   The Dental A Team (15:54) I was going to say also, I just said the team's looking for us as leadership to hold people accountable, but I also just had this conversation in office too. It isn't just leadership to hold people accountable. We hold ourselves accountable first and foremost, and then peer to peer, it's our job to hold each other accountable too, not just the leadership team, guys. Yeah.   The Dental A Team (16:18) Yeah,   I love that so much and I don't know how many times I've preached that and witnessed it and done it. Because I'm like, gosh, if I put myself in leadership shoes, I'm not going to be like, there goes Candace again with the wrong color shirt. I'll be like, Candace, girl, if I have to wear this shirt and I can't be colorful, you better get in line too because you're making me mad. I remember. And I will tell this story till the day I die. And when she listens to this, she's to know exactly what I'm talking about. She's one of my best friends.   The Dental A Team (16:46) I don't know.   The Dental A Team (16:48) I love her dearly, and there was a moment in time we did not love each other so much. And this girl, every time I walked by her TC office, I was like, listen, you're on Facebook again. We got internet taken away from us because of you, and I remember the day I walked by and I like, I swear, if I get something else taken away from because you're doing this, I'm gonna freak out.   The Dental A Team (17:05) you   The Dental A Team (17:13) And she was not happy, but I was just like, girl, how many times do we have, like we're all getting talked to, we're all getting things removed, we're getting new rules implemented, and you're blatantly not doing them. I'm not okay with that, and I'm not okay with the disrespect that you're showing to the rest of the team, including leadership and doctor, because that's disrespectful to me. You're not caring that your actions are having a consequence on me. No, no, I'm not gonna stand for that because I have   higher respect for myself and boundaries for myself than to allow something like that to continue. So I love that you said that and I think there's a when and there's a where and there's a how. And as long as we're coming at it from a space of respect and we're coming at it from a space of results, not attacking the person, that's the difference maker. And your stress will exponentially decrease when you stop micromanaging systems.   The Dental A Team (17:55) Yes.   The Dental A Team (18:12) You manage results and you lead people by accountability. And when there's confusion within the accountability, then go back to the system and make sure that the accountability is clear. Like what is the system supposed to be doing? What does the accountability look like? And stop saying accountability is hard. Accountability is not hard. Backtracking because you never held somebody accountable, that's hard. But the accountability of like, hang on, tell me more about this. How come we didn't get there?   The Dental A Team (18:17) Yeah.   Yeah.   The Dental A Team (18:43) Not, hey, why didn't you make 10 calls yesterday? You were supposed to make 10 calls. That's micromanaging a person. But saying, hey, I see that you weren't able to get to your 10 calls yesterday. Tell me more about that. What was your day like yesterday? Where could we have made sure that you had time? What got in the way of that? Now the person is like, yeah, you're right. I was swamped with X, Y, and Z. And we can diagnose, is that a one-off? Like, okay, that was a really busy day.   Or is that a space of you're carrying too much and some of that needed to be delegated? So Kristy, I think that's a massive difference in accountability of the like, hey, you didn't do, that's managing. Or, hey, I see that you didn't get to, tell me more about that. You know?   The Dental A Team (19:16) Mm-hmm.   Yep. It's   coming from that curiosity and concern, and it already lowers the feelings, I guess, you know what I mean? Yeah. And again, as a leader, using the call scenario, that also gives you the chance to re-cement that, making these calls is really, really important. And so maybe we can carve out extra time to get to those today, you know, and coming up with a solution together. So 100 % Tiff.   The Dental A Team (19:36) Yeah, the reaction. Yeah.   Yes.   The Dental A Team (19:56) on board with you there. think it goes back to creating our heart, right? And having those conversations, which also made me think of, guys, and we see this every day all day when we go on practices too, Tiff, or even on calls. Please, please, when you have to have a one-off conversation, don't address the whole room. Your face.   The Dental A Team (20:02) Mm-hmm.   Please, for   the love of all things, please, please listen to Kristy.   The Dental A Team (20:24) Yeah, right. Because truly the person that needs to hear it, they don't know it's them. I promise you, they don't know it's them. Go have the one-on-one caring conversation, and that's how you can get the buy-in from them and be able to circle back for future conversations.   The Dental A Team (20:41) Yes,   yes, my gosh, I love that you said that. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. If someone is doing something, don't make everyone suffer through the conversation, because 90 % of the people are like, what are we talking about? And then one person's like, my gosh, it's me, I'm so stressed. And you're like, and then they come to you, how can I do better? And you're like, it wasn't you. ⁓ so now I'm stressed for no reason, but I'm also not believing you, because I'm positive that it was me, and now we've ruined someone.   The Dental A Team (21:07) We were winded.   The Dental A Team (21:08) ⁓ And the   person that it was is like, you guys suck. You guys should really stop doing that. I can't believe someone here did that. You're like, my golly. Yeah, that was part of my conversation today. Yes, I love that with my practice. So every day all day I see that generalizations kill a team. If there are multiple people doing it, fine. Reestablish your baselines. Reestablish your boundaries and your handbooks. Sure.   The Dental A Team (21:14) Yeah.   Yeah.   The Dental A Team (21:36) But if someone is causing a scuffle, someone is causing a stress, talk to that person. Just nip it in the bud. Because I guarantee you, blue sweater would not have known I was talking to her. And she's gonna wear that sweater again and I'll be like, bro, we talked about this. She's like, no, we didn't. We did not, because we didn't. But I did, and it never happened again. She didn't love me for it. She had some choice words to some people, but it was fine. And we were fine at the end of the day. We get a little ⁓ upheaved sometimes.   The Dental A Team (21:42) Yeah.   Yeah.   The Dental A Team (22:06) because as much as we want to be seen, it's also really scary to be seen. And so we'll be like, I know I'm in the wrong. Like you get defensive because you already knew you shouldn't have worn the sweater. You already knew it was out of dress code. So when I talk to you about it, you were already prepared to be defensive and defend why it was fine because you knew it was coming. That's okay. I'm okay with that. Cause tomorrow we're both better for it.   The Dental A Team (22:28) Yeah.   I love it, Tiff. I think truly, and again, guys, when you make the conversation around your culture and the easiest way to do it truly is on your mission and core values, tying probably that blue sweater back to your core values would have been a huge way to, again, approach the conversation and let that person know they're not living in community. ⁓ To that being said,   There's many times when we go in practices and I'm asking, I need you to have it truly. So you guys, you're on, if you're a client of mine, you probably know it's coming. You better be prepared. I'm going to ask you what your mission and your core values are because truly I like to say the mission is our boss. That's who we're serving, not our leadership team. That is our boss. And the core values demonstrate how we behave.   So in any of these situations when you're having to have a caring conversation, I'm not gonna say it's a hard, it's a caring conversation, we choose to make it hard. ⁓ Tie it back to your core values, because that's how we behave, and it's gonna make it easier for you to tackle those conversations.   The Dental A Team (23:46) I love that so much and I think that is the perfect spot to wrap because tying back to your mission vision core values is key to business success. So I love that Kristy. Thank you. I would say action items, are those done? Do you have job descriptions done? Do you know what the responsibilities of each individual are? Do they know? And what is the accountability follow up there within it? So if you're stressed out, yeah.   The Dental A Team (23:59) Thank   to one more action. Leadership, is there anybody you need to put on your list to have a conversation with?   The Dental A Team (24:18) Do it.   Ooh, I like that. Good job.   Make them think. I love that. Okay, you heard it right here. You heard it from Kristy. Go do the things. remember, stress is a symptom of something. We're not just stressed. Okay, I just, I just had a stressful day. No, it's a symptom of something. And typically, I've found in my personal experience, at least, that if I'm stressed, it's usually because I've let a boundary slip.   and somebody's crossing over that boundary, and I'm actually kind of upset, hurt with myself. I'm mad at myself for allowing it to happen. So, do a gut check if you're stressed. Why are you stressed? It's just a symptom. It's not a forever and it's not a lifestyle. So, go figure it out. Go figure out your accountabilities. If you need help with it, you guys were here for it. Hello@TheDentalATeam.com, reach out. TheDentalATeam.com, you can sign up for a free assessment with our team. We will help you see those gaps. We will help you see where you can   thrive and not just survive and not die. We will help you with all of those. So drop us a five star review below. We'd love to hear what you thought. Kristy, this was so much fun. Thank you for busting so many out with me today and thank you for this specific podcast. I had a ton of fun with you.   The Dental A Team (25:37) Yeah, back at you. was fun having a little conversation and hopefully they see it as a challenge.   The Dental A Team (25:41) I love it.   I know, I think they will. You guys got a lot here. Awesome, thank you all and we will catch you next time. Bye bye.

There's a little red Japanese fire truck rolling around all over San Francisco. But instead of putting out fires, Kiri the Japanese Fire Truck is spreading joy and inspiring smiles. In this episode, meet and get to know Todd Lappin, the human being who brought Kiri from Japan to the US—Bernal Heights specifically. We start with Todd's life story in Part 1. He has lived in the 94110 ZIP code for 34 years. But he's originally from New Jersey. "Even after 34 years, New Jersey is like a stain that doesn't wash out," he says. He grew up in what he calls the "Ohio part" of the state. I call it "the pretty part," meaning not New York City-adjacent. Todd is a self-described Gen Xer—growing up mostly in the Eighties, latch-key kid, etc. Most of the growing up happened in Hackettstown, NJ, one of the places where M&M's are made. It's not far from the eastern end of I-80, also. NYC was an hour away and Todd spent plenty of time there as a kid. In addition to being born in New York and raised in New Jersey, Todd spent one year in Oakland as a kid when his navy dad got stationed in Alameda. He's long held a fascination with cars, specifically what are known as "working vehicles." Think of them as cars people use for jobs. He appreciates the aesthetic honesty of such automobiles. Though it was and still is small, Hackettstown served as a hub for surrounding farmland and even smaller nearby towns. When Todd was in high school, one of those surrounding towns' volunteer fire department sold a Cadillac ambulance for $600. He didn't buy it, and regrets that to this day. It's his "Rosebud," so to speak. When he was young, he also started getting deep into Asian culture. For Todd, this fascination stemmed from diving more into the US war in Vietnam. He learned about Confucianism. He ended up going to Brown University for college and getting even deeper into Asian history and culture—focusing first on Chinese, then moving onto Japanese. Todd did a semester abroad in Japan, in fact. He didn't love the school part of his time there, but ended up traveling around the country on his own. Those travels eventually led him into China. After this, he pivoted from studying modern Japan to digging into ancient China, with a specific focus on Daoism. He ended up with a degree in Chinese intellectual history. Going back to Todd's Bay Area connections, besides that one year in Oakland when he was little, he'd visited with his parents when he was a teenager. When he graduated from Brown, he was dating a woman from here. But it was a high school spring break visit that really cemented it for him—this is where he wanted to be eventually. For young Todd in the Eighties, San Francisco felt urban in a way that reminded him of his time in NYC. After that, it was the beauty, the thoughtfulness, as he puts it, that hooked him. Six years or so after that spring break visit, Todd put down roots in SF. The two of us digress to talk in some depth about differences between SF and NYC. One way that Todd characterizes it is: The East Coast anoints. The West Coast creates. I can see what he means. Todd still loves Providence, RI, where Brown is. But a year after graduating and staying there, that SF "hook" pulled him here. When he landed in early-Nineties Mission (1991), it felt like Providence, so there was a familiarity to his new hometown. Zine culture was still big at the time, and Todd did a little writing, much of it journalistic. One of those gigs was to edit a book by one of his mentors—Orville Schell, who was once the dean of the UC Berkeley journalism school. Like Todd, Schell studied Chinese history and culture. So, that was 34 years ago. Todd doesn't think the 94110 has changed, or, as he puts it, hasn't changed enough. The City has grown, but the Mission and Bernal for him are mostly the same. He eventually got a job at and worked for Wired for a while. Years later, he launched Bernalwood, a blog about his neighborhood. This is where Todd's and my worlds first intersected. Todd sees blogs as a natural progression from zines—both have low barriers to entry and so foster a more-independent spirit than established or corporate news orgs. I agree, having been part of the blogging world myself. At this point, we turn to the topic of this episode—Kiri, the tiny Japanese fire truck. Todd shares that story with us all here. Going back to his pivot from studying Japanese to studying Chinese culture, Todd says at that point, he felt he was done with Japan. But in 2004, a friend who was going through a divorce mentioned wanting to visit Japan and Todd accompanied him. This trip brought it all back for him. He had enough of the language stored in his brain to be able to function and had a terrific time. With that flame reignited, Todd has visited Japan "nonstop" since then. On one of those trips, he met someone who'd become something of a "car creator," meaning he was making content around cars and publishing it on YouTube. Todd had been driving Jeeps and SUVs back in the US, automobiles that he'd outfitted to look like company trucks. This is where Telstar Logistics—a fictitious company he created—comes in. But that new friend who made videos about cars introduced him to a Nissan Skyline R32 while he was in Japan. Todd was so taken by the car that he bought and imported one back to California. Through that importation process, he learned that any car that was 25 years or older could be brought to the US from another country. There were some other California-specific hoops he had to jump through, metaphorically, but he had learned what it took. Check back Thursday for Part 2 to hear how Todd locked sights on the automobile that became known as Kiri. We recorded this episode at Pinhole Coffee in Bernal Heights in February 2026. Photography by Nate Oliveira

Discover how aging can be a new chapter of empowerment and entrepreneurial success. Join host Nancy Griffin and guest Jeanette Anderson, founder of Maturepreneur World, as they explore the opportunities, challenges, and mindset shifts needed for older adults to thrive as entrepreneurs.About JannetteJannette is the bold, brilliant force behind  Maturepreneur  World, where 55 plus isn't a finish line—it's a launchpad. Her mission? To make “retirement” the new dirty word, and elevate the undervalued wisdom workforce who are #NotDoneByALongshot into the global economic powerhouse we truly are!  She's the business expansionist, the Why Whisperer, and a master at getting the four inches between your ears working so your business can work! Her transformational Clarity Compass--Create Purpose and Profit After 55 workshop, "What's Next?" expert coaching and Next Chapter Launchpad program are designed to make you visible, financially viable, and valued.She shows Maturepreneurs how to rewrite what success looks like after 55 so you can step off the sidelines and take the helm of your own purpose-fueled, profitable ventures.Why? Because she knows that age doesn't make you obsolete—it makes you unstoppable!Key TakeawaysWe've been sold a myth: that life follows a fixed script—go to school, get a job, climb the corporate ladder, get married, have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence, work until 65, retire, and then quietly fade into thebackground until life ends.There's a growing poverty crisis among older adults—about 65% of North Americans can't afford to retire. It's no surprise, then, that Boomers and Gen Xers are becoming the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs.One in four people report feeling lonely—and say it'simpacting their mental health. The rates are even higher among older adults andsolopreneurs.Finding our “why” is essential for effective marketing and standing out in a crowded marketplace—because people don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it.Adopting a growth mindset over a fixed one is a choice. Pay attention to your beliefs, question whether they truly serve you, and choose to tell a more empowering story.Build your business around your life—not your life around your business. Who do you want to be? What difference do you want to make in the world? What kind of lifestyle do you want to create? What truly lights you up?

Join us as we brave one bee, discuss some Epic annual pass inquiries, and then play a totally retro game themed to Universal. All you Gen Xer girls out there know the one. It's MASH! Or Universally-themed, it's VIEU. Visit UFpodcast.com⁠⁠ to contact us and find us on socials. Please add The Universal Family Podcast to your library wherever you listen to your podcasts. We hope you enjoy our show about all things Universal Orlando!

What do you do when the life you built no longer feels like it fits? In this episode of GenX Journeys, I'm joined by Camille Miller—three-time bestselling author, business designer, and founder of the Soul Professional Movement. Together, we explore what it means to step out of alignment… and how to find your way back. If you've ever felt stuck, restless, or like something is missing—even when everything looks "right" on paper—this conversation will resonate. We talk about reinvention, authenticity, and why GenXers, in particular, are uniquely wired to evolve, adapt, and build something more meaningful in this next chapter of life.

In a special interview, Will chats with Mario Toscano (Back to the 80s), Jim Butler (Children of the 80s), and Eric Shoars about the continued influence of 80s music in our lives. We also talk about Eric's new book Life Goes On, which is a collection of essays by Gen Xers that examines this topic.0:00 - Introduction1:24 - InterviewFollow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/1980snow.Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@1980snowCheck out Back to the 80s with Mario: https://www.fm80s.com/Check out Children of the 80s with Jim: https://bit.ly/4bVI4BTGet your copy of Life Goes On: The Lessons We Learned from Eighties Music anywhere books are sold.

Bridget reacts to her recent "leave me behind" essay going viral and dives into why legacy media stars are desperately chasing a youth demographic that doesn't care about them. She breaks down the difference between building a "territory" for your work versus fighting for "hierarchy" in an algorithm-driven world. It's a call to stop performing for 20-somethings and start focusing on the "invisible audience" of late Boomers and Gen Xers. #GenX #MediaCriticism #DumpsterFire #Algorithm Topics covered: Why Gen X is being left behind, the "pick me" energy of modern pundits, Stephen Pressfield's "The War of Art," the Artemis II moon mission launch, and why you shouldn't chase the youth demographic. 

Sean Penn, puffing away inside the Beverly Hilton at the Golden Globes. Kylie Jenner, with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth, on the cover of Vanity Fair. Nurse Dana, taking a drag on The Pitt. Smoking is back — both IRL and on screen — just as Hollywood's shrinking career ladder leaves many millennials feeling stuck and a stressed-out Gen Z, inheriting the collapse, searches for connection and release. Editor, writer and former pack-a-day smoker Degen Pener joins Elaine Low and Sean McNulty to explain what's driving young Hollywood workers to light up after talking to young industry workers outside clubs across Los Angeles — and what Gen Xers like him and Sean make of it. Plus, Elaine and Sean debate which generation really has it worse in today's business — and whether boomers are to blame. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode, Heather is at the LA studio and welcoming her first live callers! These hussies really bring some wild spring break Absolutely Not's to Heather and we are forever changed! We have callers that were down at the Villages, on a hetero bachelor party in Baltimore, wheelin' and dealin' in Daytona as a newly crowned amateur stripper, a near miss on girls gone wild Gen Xer and someone who voluntarily went on a Greyhound for over 24 hours.Episode Sponsors:Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepodLearn more about Camp Unwritten under Limited-Time Offers at experiences.hyatt.com.Visit yasso.com/absolutely to enter and upgrade your freezer! Find full giveaway details, rules, and regulations. Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purchase necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: Yasso.com/ABSOLUTELYReady for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for April 1, 2026 is: shenanigans • shuh-NAN-ih-gunz • plural noun Shenanigans is an informal word used to refer to activity or behavior that is either not honest or proper, or is mischievous or high-spirited. Its oldest meaning, and the one most likely to be encountered as the singular shenanigan, is “a devious trick used especially for an underhanded purpose.” // The CEO resigned amid accusations of financial shenanigans and dubious deals. // The tween sleepover shenanigans involved goofy hats, fake mustaches, and giggles galore but everyone eventually fell asleep. See the entry > Examples: “Do you remember what it was like to be bored—like really bored? As a Gen Xer, I didn't grow up scrolling social media or playing endless hours of ‘Minecraft' to keep me busy; instead, I spent a fair amount of my free time after school crafting the perfect prank call. ... In retrospect, it was time well spent. Well, maybe. Some shenanigans may have gone too far.” — Elana Rabinowitz, The Los Angeles Times, 10 Feb. 2026 Did you know? Fool us once, shame on you; fool us twice, shame on us. Either way, we call it shenanigans, employing a word whose history is as slippery as the monkey business it names. We know that the word likely first appeared in print in the 1850s in the western United States. But most theories of its genesis assert that it was born in the British Isles, with potential origin words referring to such things as silly behavior, feigned illness, and a sweet rum-beer libation. Although the “underhanded trick” sense of the word is oldest, the most common senses in use now are those referring to the dishonest or improper activity of “political shenanigans,” or to the high-spirited or mischievous behavior of “youthful shenanigans.”

Why GenX Retirement Is Harder Than Boomers or MillennialsGenX retirement was supposed to be simple: work hard, save consistently, retire comfortably. Yeah... about that.In this episode of Queer Money, we break down why GenX retirement feels so much harder than what boomers often describe and what millennials get all the headlines for. For many Gen Xers, especially gay Gen X men, retirement planning has been shaped by market crashes, the shift from pensions to 401(k)s, rising debt, mortgage pressure, and a culture that told us to figure it all out ourselves. In other words, classic GenX: no map, no backup, and somehow we're still expected to make it look easy.We unpack the seven major reasons retirement has been harder for Gen X, including getting caught in the pension-to-401(k) transition, entering adulthood around recessions and Black Monday, carrying more consumer and student debt into peak saving years, and taking major hits from the dot-com crash and Great Recession at the worst possible moments. If you've ever looked at your retirement accounts and thought, “Why does this feel harder for us?” this episode gives language, data, and context to what many GenXers have lived through.We also go deeper into what makes gay GenX retirement even more complicated. Gay Gen Xers are the first large cohort of gay men to survive into retirement after coming of age during the HIV/AIDS crisis. That shaped how many of us think about money, aging, planning, and whether we even expected to live long enough to retire. Add in decades of workplace discrimination, being closeted on the job, lower earning opportunities, and a stronger pull toward living for today, and you've got an entirely different retirement equation.This episode is honest, validating, and practical. We also walk through how a retirement gap can play out in real life using the Happy Gay Retirement Calculator, showing the difference between retiring with not enough and retiring with room to breathe.Takeaways in this episode:Why GenX retirement planning got harder when pensions disappearedHow market crashes and recessions hit Gen X at critical wealth-building yearsWhy debt, mortgages, and caregiving are slowing retirement progressWhat makes gay GenX retirement different from other generationsHow to start closing the gap and build a more confident retirement planIf retirement feels harder than it should, you're not broken. You're Gen X. And there are still smart ways to make the next chapter fabulous.Chapters:00:00 Intro01:43 - The “pensions → 401(k)” swap03:18 - ‘Double Dip' Recessions05:17 - Calculator Intro06:17 - Calculator example 112:51 - Calculator example 214:26 - More consumer-debt baggage16:02 - Dot Com crash18:51 - Great Recession21:17 - First generation to “survive into retirement”24:24 - The last workplace ‘closeted generation'25:36 - OutroMentioned in this episode:Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!Make your retirement fabulous! Not sure if you can retire or when? Worried about how much you can safely spend without running out of money? We help you get clear answers and the systems to retire with confidence and peace of mind. Let's go!Queer Money Retirement VaultWant the confidence to retire when and how you truly want?If you're considering retirement abroad, or simply want a second & third set of eyes on your retirement plan, we help gay foks retire fabulously — wherever that may be. Our retirement mentorship can help you gain the confidence to say yes to retirement! Queer Money Retirement MentorshipYour fabulous retirement in Portugal is calling!Ready to turn your IRA assets into a gateway to living in Europe? With the Optimize Portugal Golden Opportunities fund you can do just that. Join hundreds of other U.S. investors taking control of their retirement and using the assets they have to open doors to freedom. Click below to get your Portugal Golden Visa!Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!

Jenn Sherman is my favorite Peloton star trainer who was the very first cycling instructor hired at Peloton Interactive. She's also the founder of The Back Nine Era, and her goal is to redefine life after 50 by training for longevity, health, and strength. In this conversation, we discussed how Jenn became a Peloton trainer in her 40s and how it's never too late to make a pivot in your life, how imposter syndrome still rears its ugly head no matter what you've accomplished, why community is an important part of women's health and fitness, what the “back nine era” is, and the 5 habits women should incorporate to live our best lives in our 50s and beyond. Connect with Jenn: Instagram | Facebook For women ready to stop living on autopilot and playing it small, Fired Up will show you how to shatter your self imposed limitations and unleash your potential so you can finally start living the life you've always wanted. Click to order. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit shannonwatts.substack.com/subscribe

From MPR News, Art Hounds are members of the Minnesota arts community who look beyond their own work to highlight what's exciting in local art. Their recommendations are lightly edited from the audio heard in the player above. Want to be an Art Hound? Submit here.A story of the 1977 bank strikeAs Artistic Director of the Twin Cities Women's Choir, Randi Grundahl Rexroth loves Women's History Month and the opportunity to empower women's voices. She's looking forward to the opening of Twin Cities actress Sandra Struthers' new play “Hungry Like the Wolf," which tells the story of the 1977 bank strike in Willmar. In the first bank strike in the U.S., eight women demanded equal pay with their male counterparts. The show features an all-female directing and design team. See it at the History Theatre in St. Paul, Saturday, March 21 through April 12.Randi is looking forward to an engaging show with strong 80s vibes.Randi says: The script is fast-paced and guaranteed to speak directly to us Gen Xers. Sandra Struthers uses comedy to engage the audience and discuss really difficult subjects like gender and gender inequity and double standards and harassment. The cast includes Sandra and Jen Maren, who last teamed up at the History Theatre's production of ‘Glensheen,' Allison Vincent, Sam Landman and History Theatre veteran JJen Burleigh-Bentz.— Randi Grundahl RexrothA Gilbert & Sullivan tragicomedyAllison Amy Wedell is the Alto Two Section Leader of the Twin Cities Women's Choir, and she's looking forward to great singing on display in “The Yeoman of the Guard; Or, The Merry and His Maid” from The Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company. Allison says this tragicomedy is “a little more opera than operetta” with a wider range of emotion than some of their satires. Performances run Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through March 29 at the Conn Theater at the Plymouth Congregational Church in Minneapolis. The March 28 performance will be livestreamed.Allison says it's one of Gilbert and Sullivan's most musically ambitious works, staged by local talent:Allison says: It's music-directed by Dr. Randal Buikema and it's directed by Gary Briggle. I personally know Gary Briggle as an actor from his 10-year run in “Glensheen” at the History Theatre, but I'm really looking forward to seeing him apply his considerable musical theater talent to this show.— Allison Amy WedellPainting Minnesota wildlifeAlejandra Pelinka is the Director of Creative Placemaking for the City of Bloomington, and she feels fortunate that she gets to see art exhibits curated by Artistry in the building where she works. On display right now is Kat Corrigan's exhibit “Minnesota Neighbors.” The series of vibrant paintings of Minnesota animals runs through April 19 in the Atrium Gallery at the Bloomington Center for the Arts.Alejandra says: What I really love about this exhibit is how it really makes you slow down and notice the animals we live alongside every day. You'll see a very loose, expressive painting method. And what I love about that is it gives it motion, and it gives it emotion as well. With this exhibit, specifically, you feel like you're not just looking at an animal, but it feels like you're kind of meeting it.— Alejandra Pelinka

TRANSCRIPT Gissele: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Love and Compassion Podcast with Gissele. We believe that love and compassion have the power to heal our lives and our world. Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more amazing content. And if you’d like to support this podcast, don’t forget to buy us a coffee at, buymeacoffee.com/loveandcompassion Gissele: Today we’re talking about relationships and my guests today are Gissele: Zeke and Terry Mead, who are empty nesters, midlife adventure travelers from the San Francisco Bay Area in 2021. After 25 years of marriage and nearly getting divorced, they accidentally rebooted their relationship and embarked on a new set of adventures. Gissele: Embracing their differences in challenging themselves to grow individually and as a couple on a daily basis. They couldn’t be more different, but they have a long history, a solid foundation, and a steadfast commitment to making it work as they travel and explore the world mostly together. Please join me in [00:01:00] welcoming Zeke and Terry Mead. Gissele: Hi. Terry: Hi. Gissele: Hello. Welcome to the show. I was wondering if you wanted to tell the listeners a little bit about how you actually met. Zeke: Terry is the one who usually does it so . Go ahead. Terry: Yeah, usually I do. we’ve known each other for 45 years. We, yeah, we both grew up in the San Francisco Bay area and when we were in elementary school, there was the gifted and talented education program gate. Terry: And all of the kids who are part of gate converged at the same school once a month, twice a month for enrichment activities. And I have an identical twin sister. And one month we showed up at a school. Zeke remembers meeting us. I don’t really remember meeting him. But a couple years later, we all went to the same junior high school. Terry: And so we were in the same classes. And in the eighth grade we went together. For about six weeks. I dumped him. That makes for a better [00:02:00] story if I say that. And then we were friends through high school and if you want the full origin story, we went to different colleges. We dated when we were 21. Terry: I dumped him again. We dated again when we were 24. I dumped him again and then we were 25. I made a list of everything that I wanted in a man for the rest of my life. And Zeke met all the criteria, except he was essentially the boy next door that I dumped three times. So then we were skiing when we were about 25 and had a little bit too much wine that night. Terry: And I just said this needs to be the last time and either we’re going to get married or friendship has to be over ’cause we just can’t keep doing this. And 14 months later, we were married. Gissele: what kept you holding on there? Zeke? Terry: Insanity. Zeke: Yeah. When you are 10, 12, 13 years old and you start to develop these relationships with people, you are [00:03:00] your conscious, gloms onto just interesting, specific, different characteristics. Zeke: And Terry was always someone that was just this person that I was always drawn to. And so whenever our planets would circle back around and come in alignment, it would all be like, okay, so I’m attracted to this person, and let’s see what this is all about this time. Zeke: And then the counter to that, the joke is Terry’s ability to evaluate things at 25 obviously wasn’t very good. Terry: I was playing the long game. Really? I was playing Gissele: the long game. so fast forward you, do you have children? Terry: We do. Our son is 24. He is doing a master’s degree at San Francisco State. Terry: He’s back living with us and our youngest is they them and they’re 21 wrapping up their college, their undergrad at University of Vermont in Burlington. Gissele: Beautiful. Beautiful. Okay. So you are married, are having relationships. Fast forward to the, when you start to have problems again. [00:04:00] Terry: I think, Terry: We’ve done a lot of work on ourselves and especially in the last four years, I guess it’s 20, 26, 5 years when we thought we were gonna get divorced. We came into the marriage at 26. We look at back at it just so young and so naive and with really the wrong expectations and assumptions about what a relationship is and what a marriage is. Terry: And Zeke was in a software sales or banking when we got married and later decided to become a police officer. And that ended up putting a significant amount of pressure on our relationship with the shift work. four days on, four days off, five days on, three days off, back to back fives called in for overtime, called in for court times. Terry: And, after the kids were born, I was essentially a single parent working full time. And I launched a consulting company, and so then I was managing a company as well, and that really, we did not know how to navigate that. what we later learned is I have [00:05:00] an anxious attachment style and he has an avoidant attachment style, so naturally going in different directions. Terry: He’s an only child. I’m an identical twin, so I used to doing everything together. I shared a womb with someone and Zeke: I didn’t share a room with anyone. Terry: exactly. So what we had was a solid foundation in that we grew up in the same place, knew a lot of the same people. But we did not know how to do the work. And so our relationship I think in our early forties was when it really started to, it really started to get, I wanna say bad logistically we’re really great with each other. Terry: But I think emotionally lovewise there was a lot of resentment there and there was like a huge chasm. And over the course of about 10 years, we would each show up. One of us would show up and say, okay, I think we’re done. And the other one would say, I’m not ready. And so we battled that for. seven to 10 years. Terry: Early in, like when I was about 43, I started [00:06:00] perimenopause and I didn’t really know it. So of course that also introduced a new set of challenges that I neither of us knew was really going on. Andour forties, it was it was very difficult, but then the pandemic hit when we were 50, and of course we came together in order to support the kids in order to be better citizens of the world. Terry: And logistically, I think we did really well. But, in January of 2021 both of us, it was like the first time we’d had like a text fight and I was in the bathtub and he came in and one of us was like, I think we’re done. And the other one was like, yeah, I think we’re done. it was a long time coming. Gissele: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. It must have been really challenging. I just wanna go back just for a moment. When you talked about the avoidance style in the anxious style, can you tell the audience a little bit about what that looks like? Because some of them might not know they are an anxious style or avoidance style. Gissele: So what does an anxious style look like, and what does an [00:07:00] avoidance style look like? Terry: So for me, the anxious is I’m constantly looking for validation. am I loved, am I worthy? yeah. Does he love me? Does he not? And so when there’s any sort of friction or conflict, I’m like wanting closeness and validation. Terry: And for him, when there’s conflict and whatnot, then he pulls away. So then there’s this whole chasing kind of thing. So I want more. He runs away. That makes me feel more insecure. I go chasing after it. That makes him insecure and he wants to go into his cave. it’s this chasing kind of thing. Terry: And Zeke: it doesn’t work out well, Terry: not when you don’t have an awareness of it. I I’m trying to get better about it. He’s getting better about it. And I think also growing up so there were three of us kids in the family and there was a lot of dialogue and there was a lot of fighting. Terry: And I wouldn’t say it was good communication, I learned how to fight, not necessarily dirty, but I learned how to fight. Whereas he didn’t [00:08:00] practice that with with siblings. And so then also with that also complicates it in that he would need extra time to think about whatever was going on. Terry: And I’m like, engage, engage, engaged. And he’s like, whoa, I need some space. And I’m like, engage, engage, engaged. And that would just make me more anxious to not have the engagement. It would make him more uncomfortable when I’m coming at him. And so you, you have that complicating the anxious avoidance clash as it were. Gissele: Yeah. if you’re anxious which I used to be. Whenever you have the withdrawal the avoidance, it’s interpreted as there’s a withdrawal of love. I’m not lovable. Mm-hmm. I’m not worthy. but really it has nothing to do with that. Gissele: It has to do how the other person’s ability to cope and need to regroup. Right. And so for me having to shift that I had to really be aware of how little I was there for myself and how little I love for myself that I could, [00:09:00] I had to realize that I could tap in instead of going outward. I could tap inward and be able to give that to myself. Gissele: And sometimes it’s so funny, is a weird dance because I’ve seen situations where I would have the opposite effect. I would be more avoidant if the person was different. if their energy was more anxious, I would be more avoidant and then they would gravitate. Terry: Yeah, it’s an interesting dance and one of the things that I’ve tried to be better about is to express my insecurity to Zeke and just say, look, right now I need a little bit more, I need some validation right now. ’cause I’m, I also have ADHD. So then you’ve also got that tied into it. Terry: And so if I communicate to him, look, I need a little bit more. I need some I need to know that I’m loved right now, I’m feeling in a sensitive and vulnerable space. And then having that specific request, then, if he’s able to at that moment and we’re not talking like in a fight, we’re just talking in life in general, then he’s able to step in I think a little bit more easily to respond [00:10:00] to that request. Terry: And then I’ve asked him, it’s okay. If you’re gonna go avoid me, can you just say, look, I just need some time. I wanna deal with this. I need some time. And that’s also super hard for him to do because in those moments when he pulls away, he shuts down. And so to have the wherewithal to go, look, I need a minute. Terry: I’ll come back, I will come back. Gissele: it’s the understanding that it’s not about you like that, it’s not about either of you. It’s that it’s about the person’s ability to cope in that moment and how they cope or how they’ve learned to cope based on their own childhood environments. Gissele: And so really when you have an understanding of each other’s childhoods and when you have an understanding of what each of the you need in the moment I think it’s really helpful for relationships. Yeah. Terry: We’re still practicing that by the way. We do not have Gissele: that dial. Gissele: Yeah, of course. And you know what? Relationships are an ongoing, there’s peaks and valleys, there’s highs and lows, and I love that you said that, at one moment you both had to be [00:11:00] wanting out. ’cause as long as one of you wanted to stay in, that’s usually how people stay in a relationship. Gissele: Right. But when you get to the point where you both want out, I think that’s where you, start to decide we have to really look at this and either decide to go in and out. So what happened after you both decided that it was like, that it wasn’t working and that you needed to maybe move forward differently? Terry: So it happened on a Sunday morning and the both of the kids were home. Our youngest was still in high school and our oldest was home for winter break. And we both decided, okay, we’re gonna communicate to the kids that this is what’s going on. So at dinner that night, we told the kids, and the kids were like, it’s about time. Terry: kids totally know when there’s friction. They know and they’re just like, yeah, it’s about time. And we did not model, I think healthy partner relationship for our kids. We’re still trying to fix that. We still apologize for that too. Our kids. And the timeline on this is going to seem really fast, but I process things really fast [00:12:00] and I’m a silver lining kind of gal and I can usually get over things within 24, 48 hours because it was the middle of the pandemic we’re in the San Francisco Bay area. Terry: We were still in lockdown. And, our son was going back to school, we had an extra bedroom. So Zeke moved into our son’s bedroom. But, oh, we decided we were gonna work through this together. we are friends first. We have known each other for so long, and we’re also very committed to our kids and providing a solid foundation for our kids. Terry: So he moved into the bedroom, and so the next day, he was in the bedroom doing his work. I was in the office doing my work and and our youngest was doing remote school. And I would come out and I would just start sobbing. and we would be talking through what is this gonna look like? Terry: He did look at apartments. But we also decided every night we would cook together, we would have dinner together. And while we hadn’t really watched TV together before each night, we were trying to do that to demonstrate to our youngest that we were still a united front for them. [00:13:00] And so Monday rolls around. Terry: I was devastated. I really thought my whole world had fallen apart because what I thought my future was going to be had collapsed. I thought we were going to be partners forever, the kids were getting older and it was supposed to be just us again. And so Tuesday rolls around and I am still devastated. Terry: Wednesday rolls around, I am still devastated. And I remember asking Zeke, I’m like, how can you not be devastated by this? And he said, you always move through things much more quickly than I do. This is gonna hit me later. We researched over the course of that week, we researched buying a house in the same street so we could still be near each other, still support each other. Terry: We we talked about what it was gonna look like and Thursday, Friday rolls around and I just looked at him. I’m like, I periodically I’d go in, I’d sob, he told me. And I would just say it was like, who’s gonna be my emergency contact? And he said, I will always be your emergency contact. Terry: And it was at that moment that I think [00:14:00] that was the, I know that seems silly, but that was like the last thing that I needed to go. It’s gonna be okay. So I did some research on dating and how to move forward, past divorce, we were never actually gonna get fully divorced because our financial situation is so complicated. Terry: So we would leave very separate lives, but the legal part of it would, we weren’t gonna make happen, and neither of us ever wanted to get married again. So it was like, okay, we’re not gonna deal with the legal side of it, but what logistically does this look like? And then Saturday morning I went to go play tennis. Terry: the weather was absolutely fantastic. I had some great tunes in the car and I just felt myself opening up. It was like I was blooming. It was like the color was coming back as if I’d been living in gray for a decade. And I thought, if I’m gonna get out there and dates, I need to get back into shape and I want to become again, the sexual being that I used to be. Terry: And like, how am I gonna do that? I’m like, I wanna play, I wanna experiment. I wanna come get back in touch with [00:15:00] myself. So I did a little research about that and realized that it’s not uncommon for couples going through separation to continue to have sex. And I’m like, during a pandemic, okay, fine. So after dinner, we’re sitting on the couch and I just said, Hey, what would you think about having sex? Terry: He’s is that the right thing to do? And I said, well, why not? I said, I trust you. I wanna experiment and explore with stuff. Why don’t we give it a try after this? I’m gonna go take a bath. I’m gonna crawl into bed naked, join me. So he is like, he’s not sure about that. Anyway, he comes in and I’m in bed and he goes, you sure? Terry: And I said, absolutely. And what that. Opened up is we had closed the door in our relationship. We had closed the door on who we were as a couple, and we got to embark on who we were individually doing the work that we had not done at the age of 25 and 26 and throughout our lives. And so like every night for a couple of months, we explored, I call it sex [00:16:00] exploration. Terry: We played, we were vulnerable with each other. We laughed. it was a lot of fun. We both went to therapy and over a period of time we decided to start dating and we accidentally rebooted our relationship, Zeke: kind of because we actually developed a new relationship. Yeah. We didn’t reboot the old one. Zeke: We’re still the same people in the relationship, but we developed and. Created a whole new relationship. Mm-hmm. Because all of that explorations, exploration stuff that she’s talking about didn’t happen in the last 25 years. So that was new and allowed us to, allowed her to try things and allowed me to I don’t know if I would’ve been hesitant to trying things, but that wasn’t part of the relationship previous. Zeke: So with all of that new, in this new entity, if you will then that sort of started off and created a whole different vibe for the relationship. Terry: Mm-hmm. With [00:17:00] vulnerability communication, trust that we hadn’t had before. Lack of resentment you going to therapy and committing to yourself to doing the therapy. Terry: It was a amazing signal. ’cause we’d done therapy before and individual therapy and. Just hadn’t seen the level of commitment that I saw after after we decided to separate. Gissele: So, Zeke, at any point, ’cause I have to ask, at any point when Terry suggested about you being intimate, did you go, wait a minute, Gissele: is this the path to us getting back together? Zeke: That’s a great question. I, I, initially, I was like, I don’t think this is a good idea. What, where is this coming from? And so she talked about it a little bit. And again, it was January of 2021. Terry: Mm-hmm. Zeke: I was not gonna go jump on an app and go try, that Terry: you didn’t download, you didn’t download Tinder? Zeke: No. That was not in the middle of a pandemic, a good idea in my [00:18:00] book. And I was like okay. So. Going back a step or two being her emergency contact, we’re still parents to two kids. We have to support them in, especially in this world and their world at this point in time. It was not 1992 when I got out of college and I could survive on a $10 an hour job in Sacramento and tell my parents I, they had no financial responsibilities anymore. Zeke: So I knew that we were going to be working together to support the kids as well as everything else for quite some time. So the relationship, it’s not like I was gonna pack a bag and walk out the door, and that was gonna be the end of that. the sex part of it was in the cocktail of what it was like to live in 2021. Gissele: Yeah. Zeke: And there was a freedom to it as well of, no, as much as, as it could be for that element of it, no strings attached. And that wasn’t there for the last 25, 30 years. And so it [00:19:00] seemed like there was a question mark to it, but not a lot of particular downside. Zeke: I’ve talked about this before. I do equate it to the one time someone approached me for a job and I went into the job and I said, well, this is how I’m gonna do the job. And if you don’t want me to do the job this way, and you’re not open to me trying some new things, then I’m gonna leave because you asked me to do the job. Zeke: I’m not looking for the job. I don’t need the job. Right. So not that having sex with you was a job. Gissele: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gissele: just being, you’re putting some boundaries right? Zeke: is, yeah. Was just like, okay, so we’re gonna do this and you need to be open and I’m gonna be open to doing it differently. Zeke: And I’m not gonna go do it anywhere else because it’s in the middle of a pandemic. Yeah. Gissele: Yeah. Terry: Yeah. So when I made the suggestion, never did I even consider that it was going to be a path to reconciliation. I really both of us had just had completely shut the door and was like, okay, we’re setting ourselves up for what we want, who we wanna be for the next half of our lives. Terry: Because at that point, he had turned for 51, I was about to turn 51. And if we [00:20:00] assume we’re gonna live to be a hundred, it’s like, okay, we wanna be happy, we wanna be content, we wanna be satisfied, and we wanna operate in the world in a way that is healthier than what we’ve done up until this point. Gissele: So I wanna go back to what you said. Gissele: ’cause you said that your children said, well, it’s about time. So you basically had their support. What was their reaction to you rebooting your relationship? Terry: Well, as long as we don’t talk about how we rebooted our relationship through sex, they’re totally fine. I don’t really remember what they’re, Terry: Adam was so caught up in his college life that he was checked out, he’s like, whatever. He had issues of his own to deal with and our youngest was just trying to get through day to day of virtual school during the pandemic. So Terry: They were 16 going on 17, but they’re wrapped up in their own lives. So I don’t recall them having any sort of either kid having any sort of thoughts or comments [00:21:00] about it. It would be really interesting right now to have a conversation with ’em and just say, Hey, let’s reflect on that and tell us what we were, you were feeling, thinking or paying attention to. Terry: And I’m sure Adam would say, I had no idea. I was too busy with my own stuff. And our youngest I’m sure they’ve talked about it, therapy with their therapist. Zeke: thinking back that it was such a slow kind of turn of the Titanic at that point in time, that there wasn’t a day in which it was like, ta-da, right? Zeke: As well as we are investing in this new relationship in a different way. we were concerned about the kids, but at finally, I think they weren’t the center of our universe at that point in time. The center of the universe for us had changed, and so we were less concerned about them. Zeke: And for all those reasons Terry just talked about. And so. They might have been going, wait, why is everything not pointing at me? Terry: Well, no, but our youngest was actually afraid when our oldest went off to college that everything was gonna point at them. [00:22:00] So I am pretty sure that, ’cause we would have dinner together every night, and Zeke and I would be on two ends. Terry: They would be across, the two kids would be across from each other. And I remember our youngest expressing concern about when Adam was gone be like, oh my gosh, now all of the attention’s gonna be directed on me. So I’m sure that they were probably relieved that we had a different focus and it wasn’t all on them so that they could do their own thing. Terry: that would be my guess. But we’ll have to text them later and see if they respond. Gissele: Yeah. So thank you for that. Do you think that your relationship blossom or changed because you each were willing to change Terry: Oh yeah, Gissele: yeah, Terry: yeah. I mean, there’s no way this would’ve worked if we showed up exactly the same way. Gissele: Well, I think often people, want their partner to change. They’re like, I’m gonna be happy if so and so changes. But I think what you’re saying, or at least what I’m hearing from you is that each of you committed to changing and to doing something different and to showing up more vulnerability, more authentically.[00:23:00] Gissele: Whether that meant, that it wasn’t gonna work together, but the surprising thing was that it actually brought you back together. is that accurate? Terry: Oh yeah, I mean it would not have worked if we hadn’t done the work, but the fact that we were committed to doing the work for ourselves, I think was really important. Terry: we had all sorts of fights and discussions over the years where I’m like, you need to do this. You need to do, this is what I need from you. And then of course, the disappointment and the resentment when I didn’t feel like there was a commitment to me and what I didn’t feel heard. Terry: I didn’t feel seen in terms of what I said I needed in the relationship. And I have worked with an executive coach, I’ve worked with therapist. I’m constantly, every day trying to work on something as we Gen X women in a patriarchal society have been conditioned to do that. There’s always something wrong with us. Terry: And, we’re always trying to find the constant improvement. And so yeah, there was no expectation I no longer had any sort of demands on him changing because it was like, you do, you, as long as we can show up for the [00:24:00] kids the right way, as long as we can show up as friends the right way, build healthier communication paths, then you know, that middle piece, that Centrif Venn diagram, our lives were our own except for those central pieces where we needed the touch points. Gissele: What about Zeke? Zeke: Yeah, it, again, because it became this different entity and I had a different way to approach it and I don’t know if the word reinvention allowed me to sort of take on this different, approach to it and let go of what had happened and have a different approach going forward. Zeke: So that was, that’s the gist of my navigations through that. Terry: Well, let me ask you this question through our entire relationship, I was, would be like, I need you to do this. I, this is what I need. I don’t think, I don’t remember you placing similar demands or asking me similar things. Zeke: No, no. Gissele: So, you found your way back [00:25:00] to each other. So what’s currently working for your relationship? How have you changed and grown and expanded that enables you to continue to have a committed, loving relationship? Terry: As we said, we’re continuing to work on this on a regular basis. Gissele: Yeah, of course. That’s just, that’s life. Terry: Yeah. So what, works? We have instituted a number of things that I think are. Are helpful. We’re not always great with ’em, but as you know, every morning we decide to commit to the relationship. Terry: And one way that Zeke shows me is he gives me a kiss in the morning and says, I love you, and then I’m just there. No, I’m just kidding. I’d read this book called The New I Do. While we were trying to, before we decided to, to call off our original relationship and learned about, there are seven or eight different types of marriages that you can go into and you can get into it for, the kids for money, for companionship, for sex. Terry: there are these [00:26:00] various different things and there can be time limits on these things, first of all you establish what you both expect out of the relationship or the marriage. And then you kind of put a plan together and then you have periodic check-ins. Terry: And so it could be annual check-ins to make sure, are we still on the same page? Are we moving in the right direction? But I like the idea of. The daily commitment to the relationship that at any point we can choose to get out, that one of us could say, you know what, this really isn’t working for me and I don’t wanna be here anymore. Terry: So there’s a lot of freedom in that. And you’d think that for somebody with an anxious attachment style, that there would be a lot of uncertainty in that, but there really isn’t. So the daily commitment, we also implemented and we were really good about it for the first couple of years and now we do it every three or four weeks. Terry: It was a weekly check-in and there are like five or six questions that we do in order to make sure that chasm that developed during our pre previous relationship didn’t develop into the future. [00:27:00] And we always started by being super close together and saying. Is there anything I can do to make you feel more loved and more comfortable right now? Terry: And I think this is stuff I found. It’s probably Gottman Institute stuff. I mean, there’s nothing magical here. it’s not innovative on my part other than we decided to implement this. And then it was like, is there anything that I’ve done to inadvertently hurt you over the last week? and then so if there is something that we have not addressed over the previous week, that is the opportunity to talk about it in a very close, loving, intimate setting. Terry: in a safe space. It doesn’t end up being like a big argument. I think we’ve only ended up in an argument after that, like twice out in the last five years. And then it was like, how’s our sex life been? And that’s usually an easy one to answer which is usually really great. And then we ask, Terry: what’s coming up next week? Is there anything stressful? And is there anything that I can do to make it a little bit easier for you? And that gives us an opportunity to talk about what’s coming up so we can talk about what’s happened. We [00:28:00] can talk about what’s coming up that keeps us connected through the communication. Terry: And then like two years ago I added is there anything I did to make you feel loved this week? And so then we can tap into it. we either end on the sex question or we end on the, is there anything that makes you feel loved? ’cause I like us ending on a high. so that’s been a really helpful tool to help us stay connected. Terry: So I hope that answered your question in terms of some of the things that we’ve done. We try not to let things fester the way that we used to. But we launched a new business, Zeke andTerry Adventures two years ago. And I’m super, as you can tell, I’m super outgoing. Terry: I’m super chatty. He’s more of an introvert. And more I would like to say thoughtful about the things. And that has been really great for our relationship because we are doing all sorts of new things together and at the same time. It’s also really challenging because we have not had the results that we wanted, and [00:29:00] we both have our insecurities about what it is that we’re doing in the business. Terry: And so that is creating actually the biggest conflict for us, and it’s also creating the biggest opportunity for us to have good communication and work together through the various different challenges I get to show up and be very compassionate to him about his insecurities around it, which I think really makes this beautiful broth of a relationship, Gissele: There’s a few things I wanted to pick up on and then I’d love to talk about the travel. the first thing I wanted to mention is that I wholeheartedly agree with you is that I think we have this expectation or this belief that, ideal relationships don’t have conflict, but it is how you manage the conflict that helps you actually come closer together, that helps you overcome things together. Gissele: The second thing really is about the fact that, I find it interesting that you talked about this is an ongoing commitment, but we also [00:30:00] know that at any point we could just say, I can’t make this commitment. Gissele: And that is so refreshing. And the reason why I say that is because, The institution of marriage is one where we have been taught that a decision you made when you were younger, let’s say you were in your twenties when you get married, You are always gonna feel the exact same way from here into infinity, and that’s doesn’t make any sense because we grow, we change. Gissele: Sometimes we grow at the same rate. Sometimes we don’t grow at the same rate. And so how do we think about relationships in a way that no matter how long they last, it’s not a failure, right? Mm-hmm. everything that you go through, is still a learning opportunity, still an opportunity to love. Gissele: It’s still an opportunity to learn about ourselves without having that extra judgment of, well, if this isn’t forever, then It didn’t work, and then I’m a failure, or that you have to push yourself to stay in something that maybe you’ve outgrown. Gissele: And so I think those are two very important points that you are making. and I think because the institution of marriage is different, right? [00:31:00] before it was really, for women it was a security, right? Because when you had the children, the men could go and sow their seeds anywhere and then, like you had the kid. Gissele: And so the institution of marriage became one where there was so security, right? But I think, relationships are morphing and changing and women have the ability to make their own money, their own businesses. And so the need for that kind of like security and stability, maybe not necessarily be there. Terry: Oh yeah, absolutely. And we’re seeing it in these next generations. Who are these these women in their twenties and their thirties who are like, I’m not settling. I can have my own money. I can have my own house. I have my friends. Terry: I can make my own choices. I can choose to have kids if I want to or choose not to have kids. And so this whole, you’re gonna die an old cat lady. I’m like, how many cats do I get to have, in my own space? so we’re seeing in society a time when the men are actually having to step up from an emotional perspective and doing the work, whereas before they’re like, I’m bringing on the paycheck. Terry: [00:32:00] You can’t get a credit card. You can’t get a loan to buy a house. You get pregnant, you get kicked outta secretarial school. So you know, you’re stuck with me. And now women just have so many more options available to them, and I think it really is. a huge opportunity for a society in general for heterosexual men especially, to have to step up in a way that women have had to step up and endure for centuries. Zeke: Well, at the same time, it opens another set of doors for men because Gissele: Yeah, Zeke: we were on the early side of this and we didn’t do it exactly right. I didn’t do it exactly right, but when the kids were three and six years old, I stopped being a police officer and became a stay at home dad. because Terry was making way more money than I was making, even as an overtime police officer, which was a very generous pay package, mm-hmm. Zeke: And so we flipped roles and I think the upside of that is that we showed our kids that that could happen. Didn’t exactly show them [00:33:00] the best way for it to happen, but that it was a possibility because up until then. I’d worked since I was like 17 years old. up until 38 years old. Zeke: And then it was like, wait, this doesn’t make sense. Financially, I’m spending half of my paycheck on childcare. Gissele: Yeah. Zeke: And I’m still getting in the way of Terry making more money. This doesn’t make any Terry: sense. Oh. When our relationship was terrible and our kids, we were eating out way too many days a week. Terry: Yeah. It was not the lifestyle that we were looking for because when we decided to get married, the agreement was he was gonna stay home with the kids. We knew from the get go that going into it was gonna be flipped, but then he became a police officer really liked the work, and then it was like, wait, this is not working. Zeke: I liked, I liked the work. I didn’t like the schedule Gissele: Yeah. Fair enough. I wanna talk about, just since you’ve mentioned it a couple of times, like self-forgiveness. And the reason why I bring that up is like there has to be an element of self-forgiveness because we make mistakes as parents in our relationship, in the modeling things that we do to our kids. Gissele: And I [00:34:00] remember talking to my kids when they were very young and telling them, I’m gonna make mistakes. Mommy doesn’t always know what she’s doing. there’s no kid manual and I’m gonna be apologetic and I’m gonna be honest and sometimes I’m gonna make mistakes. Gissele: we don’t always get it right. We’re human beings here. Right? And so there’s gotta be a level of self-forgiveness because of the mistakes you made. Terry: Yeah. So we would joke when the kids were younger that we were putting money away for their therapy, that we knew that we were going to be contributing to some sort of their, negative side of their emotional and psychological well-being. Terry: I’m not sure that was the right way to handle it. I wish that we’d had the wherewithal to say, look, we’re human. We’re gonna do the best that we can with what we have at the time. And I hope that if we make mistakes that there will be some forgiveness there. We just did not have that level of awareness going in. Terry: What we’ve done over the last, five years with the kids is just apologize for not modeling the right relationship. And, both the kids are in therapy. There our youngest has [00:35:00] been in, since high school and then our oldest did in high school and then has been for the last year. Terry: we believe in getting professional help. And there are times . We’re like, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. We didn’t model this better for you. And they’ll say, yeah, why are you doing it now? You’re doing great. Now. You could have done this. And I’m like, we were just not in a place to do this. Terry: Mm-hmm. So at least now we’re able to model, and I was called out on this whole self forgiveness thing a couple weeks ago. you’re owning too much of this and you need to forgive yourself for it. I was like, I think I’m, I think I’m exaggerating a little bit just for the joke, for the bit. Terry: And I’m super proud of ourselves for modeling better stuff and being able to say, look, we know we didn’t do that right, but here’s what we’re doing now and we hope that you can learn from what we’re doing now that it is not too late. What was also helpful is sometime in the last five years, we saw the statistic that parents are only like 20 to 30% responsible for how [00:36:00] the kids turn out in their emotional wellbeing and et cetera. Terry: And I have to. Remind Myself of that regularly to say you’re not a hundred percent responsible for how screwed up your kids are. You’re only 25% responsible. And it’s like, oh, it takes the pressure off to say for me, once again, having in a patriarchal society as a Gen X woman, I was supposed to have it all be it all be perfect in every aspect of my life. Terry: And this is one place where I feel like I failed. And being able to go, I did the best that I could with what I had. It’s not an excuse, but it’s an opportunity to recognize, forgive, and go I want to do better. And look for ways for better communication, for better modeling. I started back up with my therapist on Monday, ’cause I don’t think right now I’m managing my kid, my relationship with my kids. Terry: As best I can right now in setting boundaries and communication, et cetera. So I think modeling that now, I’m hoping that they will pick up on [00:37:00] that. Because We talk about all this kind of stuff. What is really interesting is what we expect from our parents. A month ago I had a partial knee replacement and our son, who’s living at home could not see me in pain, could not see me out for the count. Terry: And I was in a lot of pain ’cause I can’t take narcotics ’cause I, my body just can’t handle him. And I was in a lot of pain. I’m also a very active person. And last night he said his friends were over and they’d had a few too many beers. And he goes, yeah, it’s really hard. He’s like, you’re the soccer player, you’re the tennis player, you’re the runner, you’re the one with the business. Terry: You fly helicopters, you do all this stuff and you’re not doing that right now. And I was like, it’s just a pause honey. It’s just a pause. I am still that person. But it’s interesting how our kids see us, whether it’s us individually or as a couple And now I know exactly what his issue is, and now I can be there to help him, work through that in order to set him better for the [00:38:00] future. Terry: But it’s, it’s absolutely fascinating. Gissele: Hmm. Yeah. I love that you said that because it is so true we’re human beings. We evolve, we change. I was not aware of how much anxiety I had when my kids were very little. Oh. And how much I modeled that for them, and as I grew and expanded and, found my way through mindfulness and compassion and all of these things, how much I had to forgive myself. Gissele: And also how sometimes the people in our lives wanna hold onto those old identities because that gives them a sense of consistency and safety. But as you evolve. They have to evolve too. And their vision of you has to evolve. And so sometimes that can be a little bit challenging for them. Gissele: But kudos to you for helping them navigate through that journey. ’cause it’s, life is all about growth. Yeah. We probably screw Terry: up on that too, but that’s okay. Gissele: Yeah. You know what the truth of the matter is? I feel like everything is a gift and a journey and it’s an experience. Gissele: And, I feel like the kids are gonna be all right. And [00:39:00] that’s one thing I hold onto, no matter what’s happening, and sometimes, things happen, right? my kids are always all right. they’re more resilient than I believe. Gissele: they’re good. They’re great. I wanted to go back to a comment you had made about the financial, because financial issues tend to be the things that probably places a wedge the most on relationships. And you seem to have navigated that before with the policing, right? what’s helping you navigate some of those waters currently as you’re growing your business? Terry: Well, we are very privileged in that. we’re financially comfortable. I we’re not off the chart rich or whatever, especially living here in the San Francisco Bay area. But we are comfortable. my consulting was lucrative. my parents did well on, an investment, so they have provided us with some extra cushion as well. Terry: I would never say that I am, super comfortable to the point where I would never worry about it. I think there’s gonna be a certain [00:40:00] amount of concern, especially with the instability of what’s going on in the world right now. It’s like, how comfortable can you actually be? Terry: So just when I think is, I look at the numbers and I do our monthly financial former accountants, so I do our monthly financials and We should be okay, but if we live another 50 years, are we going to have enough? And are we going to have enough to continue to provide some level of financial support for the kids? Terry: Because our oldest has expressed an interest in getting a PhD in philosophy and teaching at the collegiate level where we know he is not going to make a lot of money. We are willing to provide him with some level of financial support. Knowing that education is a very important issue for us and our society in, the United States doesn’t value education, doesn’t really pay teachers very well. Terry: And so we see that as part of our financial contribution in providing him with some support so that he can be the best possible teacher he can. Our youngest is still trying to figure out what they’re going to do next, but we imagine it is going to be in service to something and will probably [00:41:00] not make a lot of money and will probably be in an area that is also in alignment with our values. Terry: We need to provide them with some sort of financial support not live high on the hog, but to do Okay. we are in a decent position to do that. When we did launch the business last year. I did some projections to make, to see how long we could do it for comfortably before I would have to go back into consulting. Terry: horrors of horrors. But always thinking about what the back plan is gonna be. So we’ve made it so that I understand what our runway is on that, so we’re gonna give it one more year. And if we’re not seeing what we want from it, then may have to return to something that is actually generating revenue Right now. Terry: it’s just output. But, our company is a startup and I have been an angel investor for the last 10 years. I understand what it’s like to be a startup. Having my own consulting company, I know what it means to run. Business. I know what this all looks like. And I am not a huge risk taker, but I am a calculated risk [00:42:00] taker. Terry: Zeke he doesn’t pay as much attention to the financial stuff. We should get back to reviewing it on a monthly basis so that it’s a shared responsibility. ’cause right now it’s all on me. And he’ll say, Hey, can we pay that off? What can we do to streamline this to make it easier so that you’re doing less and we can worry about these other things more? Terry: And so he helps with that. But we are incredibly fortunate that we have a bit of time to be experimenting with what it is that we’re experimenting with. Zeke: And what got me convinced on this venture was I enjoy getting out and it. Zeke and Terry Adventures is the name of the YouTube channel. Zeke: And the word adventure in there plays a key role in my mental approach to it. Because adventure is whatever you can make it. and we’ve heard of people and know people who have never left California, they’ve never left the Bay Area, they’ve never seen snow, Whereas I’m like, I’ve never been to South Korea, so that’s on my list of things. So adventure is whatever [00:43:00] you can make it. So if we can inspire people to do that, and at the same time, I can go do things that I might not be able to do when I’m 65, when I traditionally retire from whatever day job. Zeke: And so if we can make a go at this point in time then I get to do some things that I won’t be able to do later on. And that’s what we’re also trying to communicate to folks through the channel. Is to live life while you can. I’ve been very fortunate in the last five or six years to do about 10 or so two week bike tours with some friends. Zeke: And so we’ve ridden bikes from a lot of different places to other places and had a great time. And we come back from these things and we meet places and talked to people about our trips and we can guarantee somebody’s gonna say oh, I wanna do that someday. And we always tell them, there is no someday. Zeke: There’s only today. You’ve gotta do it. Now if you say I’m gonna do it someday, you just keep pushing it off. You’ve gotta do it now. So that’s why Part of my mind is like, this is crazy. What are you doing financially? [00:44:00] This is a startup and I’m not a startup guy. Terry’s the startup person. Yeah. Zeke: And but the other half of my brain is do it while you can, because at some point in time you’re not gonna have a choice. You’re not gonna have an option. Terry: Yeah. And I just wanna expand on something about the adventure because not everybody has the financial means to do it. And not everybody’s as comfortable with adventure, like his cycling trips, I have zero interest in his cycling trips. Terry: But so what is adventurous for me and pulls me outside of my comfort zone, and that’s the thing, our tagline is we wanna inspire Midlifers, mostly Gen Xers, but people over the age of 50 to get out, get uncomfortable and go adventure It could be taking a bus to go do a hike someplace, so maybe the bus is a couple bucks. Terry: You can go do a hike, which should be free. hopefully you have some comfortable shoes. You can bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you just add some water, don’t forget the water. And you go and you see something from a different angle. You push yourself beyond your normal [00:45:00] comfort zone. Terry: When I worked for my dad’s accounting firm back when I was younger we would always have this conversation ’cause I was very black and white. we would look at the tax law and it would be like, it would be this or it’d be this. And my dad’s no, there’s black and there’s white, and there’s the gray area in between. Terry: And that gray area is our play area. I’m not saying it was, bad or fraudulent, but he always wanted to stretch me like a rubber band. And I always, every time you do something that’s outside your comfort zone, you stretch that rubber band, you stretch that rubber band and that rubber band, once stretched, never goes back to the same place. Terry: And so for on this last trip, we both flew into Munich, and then I took a train to Strausberg because I am absolutely determined to see all the France, and I’m determined to speak French fluently one day in my life. And so he cycled with his friends from Munich to Venice, and they did it. They do it on the cheap. Terry: I they camp, they do warm shower places. They share, four stinky men in a room kind of situation. And I had [00:46:00] this little air and B right on the river Ill in Strasburg, and I spent two weeks by myself in Strasburg, working on my French, working on some other content. And, but that being solo and doing that, oh, and I got to go to all the museums I wanted and the cathedral and I got to do all the cultural stuff that I love to do while he was outside doing his outdoorsy stuff. Terry: I play tennis, I don’t cycle. And me being alone as an identical twin, as somebody who likes to have somebody around that is uncomfortable for me. and Zeke was like, ah, that would be super uncomfortable for me and I would absolutely hate it. And, but with that. it expanded who I was. Terry: And granted, that is a more expensive option. But we live in the Bay Area and there are all sorts of places to go hike. I don’t love to hike, but sometimes our youngest will drag me out and is oh wow, maybe this isn’t so bad. Look at how beautiful this is. I’m bitching and complaining all the way up, all the way up the hill. Terry: or when we go and we [00:47:00] do saunas and places, and they go, ’cause there’s a new one up in San Francisco. this isn’t necessarily uncomfortable, but really what a great experience. Gissele: Hmm, I love it. First of all, I think your dad was a great teacher in terms of the willingness to see, okay, there’s black and white, but there’s always a middle way to do things. Gissele: There’s always possibilities. I think when you’re inviting the listeners to consider is different ways of aging, because I think the more you get active and get adventure or get beyond your limitations, the more likely that you’re going to be aging. Very well at the end, for this podcast, I interviewed a 75-year-old lady who is, she started when she was 65, I believe. Gissele: She’s like the 15th time world champion pole dancing. She still does it like she’s, she’s 75. She’s still like the world leader and so can we reimagine how we age? because what I noticed in aging is there’s a constriction more and more, and more and more people are less likely to go out. Gissele: They’re less likely to [00:48:00] socialize, and so there’s an outward constriction, whereas your business is enabling people to go, okay, can we go outward instead, can we. Reimagine aging. Can we reimagine mobility? Can we reimagine adventure? Adventure doesn’t mean I have to go to the south of France Gissele: Can I even just say, that I’m willing to try that makes me out of my comfort zone? It doesn’t necessarily mean having to go outside. It could be just, public speaking. it could be anything that helps me shift and open up to life. And there might be a lot of opportunity around with organizations that are helping people become more mobile. Gissele: Because I think your organization it’s not just the traveling, it’s really is opening up people beyond their limitations and especially around aging. Can we really reimagine ourselves? Yeah, go ahead. Terry: Yeah. So in 2019 I wrote a book called Piloting Your Life to Inspire Women over the Age of 40 to design and live lives of our own Creation. Terry: And and the reason why it’s piloting your life is [00:49:00] as a woman in male dominated spaces, especially in, like investing in stuff. I am a commercially rated helicopter pilot, so I have my brand around, yeah, I fly helicopters for fun, really. I have my branding around aviation and so I had a podcast for a couple years called Piloting Your Life that ultimately focused on women. Terry: And then I wrote this book because I realized there wasn’t the what to expect when you turned 40. Book for women. We’re seeing more conversations about perimenopause and menopause and what happens to our brains and our bodies. It’s more than just hot flashes. And it was like I wanted to better understand that. Terry: So I love that you tapped into the redefining what aging means, and I think Gen X especially has an opportunity to really model moving forward. what aging means. And we do not have available to us, at least in the United States the same, you work at the same place for your entire life. Terry: You have a [00:50:00] pension and then you’re set up for the future. A lot of us are not going to be retiring at 65. A lot of us are not going to have grandkids. we’re not necessarily gonna have the retirement and aging lives that have been modeled before us. Terry: And so I do see that as a huge opportunity for us to redefine what aging means, focusing on what good health means. And good health is focused on not just, your fitness or your weight, but it’s brain health, it’s mobility, it’s flexibility, and it’s friendships. Terry: I interviewed 36 diverse women from around the world, from my book. So I can share their stories. ’cause a lot of us need to see it to be it. And it’s maybe they didn’t like my story, but they might like my friend Carle’s story or, somebody else’s story. And in the research, in order to really set ourselves up well for the next phase of our lives is we need a little bit of activity, exercise. Terry: We need deep and meaningful relationships or friendships and we need meaning or [00:51:00] purpose. And in doing further research on purpose, not having a big p purpose, but a little p purpose is important. ’cause all of those things build up. So I’m doing this drawing challenge right now so that I can start Painting Again, which I haven’t done since high school. And so every day for 10 minutes I’m drawing. And it’s so fun to do something new and know that I can completely fail at it. No one’s gonna judge me. I am pushing it out on Instagram so that I can inspire other people to be silly and whimsical as well. Terry: But I think, my focus is on women. if we decide to be selfish for once, put ourselves first focus on how we want to be in the world, do the work make the decisions on what we want, we can model it better, not only for the women coming up behind us, but also for the men in the world. Terry: And then our society in general becomes a better thing. and so like Zeke going out and doing his cycling stuff, he’s the young one in the group. Just by a a year or [00:52:00] two. But getting out there and doing. a 400 or a 700 mile cycling. And we’re talking pedaling just like, doing it on the cheap, Terry: that is just so funny. it’s not always just the physical, it’s the mental. And that’s the other thing with it, with this new business, every single day we are learning something new. We are throwing so much pasta on the wall and so much of it is not sticking in terms of what we’re trying and experimenting with. Terry: It’s it is very frustrating sometimes, but it’s also so good for our brains. Terry: it’s so exciting to be 55 almost 56. And every day it’s like, What are we choosing today? Terry: So I paid $10 for the drawing thing for the month, so it wasn’t an expensive thing. But one of the coolest things was we’ve been to so many museums and one of my new favorite artists is Egon Shield. And yesterday the thing had to do with negative spaces I think it’s called Draw Together, and Wendy Mack is the gal leading it. Terry: And she showed Igon Shield’s work and I’m like, oh my God, I love Egon Shield. And [00:53:00] like a couple days before it was some sort of line drawing thing and it was s Tumbly. And I’m like, I saw Slys stuff in Munich. I got to see Egon Shields stuff in Vienna. And I know my privilege is showing right now. but I love seeing these things connect together. Terry: That something I learned in one place, I now seeing it in play in another, and then I get to do something with it. It is so fun. Gissele: Yeah, Zeke: at same time, just a quick reference of that although we are in the San Francisco Bay area, which is of course a world class leading art center, education center. Zeke: But we’ve been in enough places around the world where we’ll walk into some little museum or art installation or a church or whatever is in some little town. ’cause Terry wants to go to every single one of ’em. And we’ll find something there. It’s like, wait, we’ve seen that other places. So wherever you are at out there in the world you look around and you’ll find some things somewhere that can be just as interesting and or inspired by some of these things that you [00:54:00] find here. Zeke: And the nice thing about the little towns that have these is there’s, it’s probably free. And two they’re, you’re not gonna spend six hours stumbling around in the Louvre looking for something and with a crowd of millions. Zeke: which is my trigger point because I don’t have the patience to, to deal with crowds. Zeke: Yeah, Gissele: That’s fair. I think what you’re modeling for us is the potentials, right? we have so many limiting beliefs in our society, you’re too old to start, a business in the fifties or tool to go cycling a little cheap. like all of those things are just limiting beliefs in what you’re showing us as a world of potentials. Gissele: A couple more questions. what’s your definition of self-love? Terry: You go first Zeke: definition of self-love. Yeah. I’m Gissele: asking everyone to season that question. Zeke: Sure. That’s a good question. Good Terry: answer ’cause I’ve got one now. Zeke: Go ahead. Terry: Okay. I think self-love right now as a 55-year-old woman, gen X conditioned in a patriarch [00:55:00] society is putting myself first without apology, showing up, being unapologetically me. Terry: I think that is the definition of self-love for me right now. Gissele: Beautiful. Zeke, I Zeke: would say, I’m not gonna articulate it. Don’t think. As well. it’s probably giving myself permission to either admit that I was wrong or admit that I hadn’t understood something. and maybe in this patriarchal society, part of that is that the man is always right and he’s always figured everything out and I haven’t and so trying to deprogram that and enter a new space of saying, yeah, I don’t, I didn’t do that right. Zeke: I don’t know what the answer to that is. And I’m sorry to anyone I’ve impacted with those previous decisions, and I’m sorry to myself and I’ve given myself permission to forgive myself for myself, either acting that way and having to change and needing to change and I should change, and I don’t [00:56:00] even exactly know what to change too. Speaker 3: Terry: So I love your question about self-love because it really got me thinking aboutwhat that means and showing up unapologetically me. ’cause I feel like I’ve been apologizing for who I am my entire life. And then also choosing myself first, which is such a struggle as a Gen X woman who’s been conditioned to put everybody else first. Terry: And there’s a line in my book. Which is be the first in the buffet line and take the last fucking cupcake because so many of us women. at least in the United States, my friends in France, they were not raised similarly, but we are told, let everybody else go first. And if there’s one last thing, don’t take it. Terry: And so I love this concept but I have to be very intentional and think about it. I love this concept of choose you first. Men have no problems choosing themselves first. And the thing that I have modeled so poorly for my kids is that. selflessness is important and always being in [00:57:00] service to somebody else is important and you put yourself last. Terry: And if I could turn back time and change one thing, I would change and show that I put myself first. More because I think it was so important for both boys and girls, men and women, to see that it is okay for women to show up unapologetically, put themselves first, being aware of the impact, but putting themselves first. Terry: So I loved that you forced me to think through, and I’m actually gonna put a reminder on my desk. It’s like practice acts of self-love every day so that it can become less. Of a practice and it can be part of who I am, so thank you for that. Gissele: Ah, thank you for that. ’cause I can totally appreciate that. Gissele: I grew up here in Canada, so not the states, but I felt the same way. There’s this messaging that a good mother puts themselves last. A good mother puts their kids first, eats last, like all of those things. And that’s not true because what it does is it leads to burnout. In fact, the less that I [00:58:00] loved myself and filled my cup, the more I gave from my reserves and the more I resented it, sometimes I was snappy my case. Terry: Yeah, and we go through perimenopause and that’s what we’re seeing is women just completely burned out going through perimenopause and the menopause transition, especially if you have a DHD and you’re just like, what the hell happened? And that’s why I see the, our forties is such an incredible opportunity to shift out of being in service to others because our bodies and our minds are saying. Terry: you’ve gotta focus inward. You’ve gotta focus less outward. And that’s what’s fun about the four. The forties suck, but the fifties, once you’ve done that work, the fifties are amazing. Speaker 3: great answers. Thank you to both of you. Last one is, where can people find you? Where can they work with you? Where can you find your book? Share anything you wanna share? Terry: So my book, piloting Your Life is. Available on Amazon. I’m sorry if you’re not, we don’t shop on Amazon, but it’s in audiobook. Terry: I narrated it. Ebook and paperback. You can [00:59:00] also order it through like bookshop.org. Request it through Libby, your library, so it’s pretty much everywhere. Or go to my website http://www.piloting your life.com. Zeke and Terry Adventures is available at http://www.zekeandterryadventures.com. You can find us as Zeke a

On this week's episode find out about the deep humility of Deacon Scott, why retirement for Gen Xers looks different, and why a good plan for Heaven is vital.Today's guest is Ashley Micciche from True North Retirement Advisors.Subscribe to View from the Pew on your favorite podcast platform.Find this show on the free Hail Mary Media App, along with a radio live-stream, prayers, news, and more.Look through past episodes or support this podcast.View from the Pew is a production of Mater Dei Radio in Portland, Oregon.

On this episode of Gen X Amplified, I am joined by globally recognized economist, author, and thought leader on aging and public policy, Debra Whitman. Debra serves as the Executive Vice President and Chief Public Policy Officer at AARP, where she leads the organization's research, policy analysis, and global advocacy on issues shaping the future of aging. She is also the author of the powerful and timely new book "The Second Fifty: Answers to the 7 Big Questions of Midlife and Beyond." In this episode, Debra and I discuss: Debra's remarkable professional journey — from growing up in eastern Washington state to shaping national aging policy on Capitol Hill and leading AARP's world-class research and advocacy enterprise The personal inflection point, including a frightening health scare involving her husband, that inspired her to write The Second Fifty The 7 big questions of midlife and beyond that serve as the foundation of the book — from "How long will I live?" to "How will I die?" The Yale research behind why people with a positive view of aging live 7.5 years longer, and what Gen Xers can do right now to shift their mindset The real cost of internalized ageism and how our own language may be limiting our potential Why purpose is one of the most powerful drivers of healthy longevity — and how to find it no matter where you are in your career The stark disparities in how Americans age — and why telling the whole story of aging matters Why Gen Xers need AARP just as much — if not more — than the generations before us And more!   Debra's Personal Theme Songs "Closer to Fine" by Indigo Girls "Get Up, Stand Up" by Bob Marley "Rise Up" by Andra Day   About Debra Whitman Debra Whitman is one of the nation's foremost voices on aging, longevity, and public policy, and a tireless champion for the millions of Americans navigating the second half of life. As Executive Vice President and Chief Public Policy Officer at AARP, Debra leads the organization's Public Policy Institute, a preeminent think tank, along with its global thought leadership team, brain health research division, and Office of Policy Development. Before joining AARP, Debra built a distinguished career shaping aging policy at the highest levels of government. She served as Staff Director for the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging, where she helped craft landmark legislation impacting millions of Americans. She also held research positions at the Social Security Administration and the Congressional Research Service, and received a fellowship that placed her on the healthcare staff of Senator Ted Kennedy. Debra holds a PhD in economics from Syracuse University, where she specialized in public policy and aging, with support from the National Institute on Aging. Her new book, The Second Fifty: Answers to the 7 Big Questions of Midlife and Beyond, brings together decades of research, expert interviews, and deeply personal storytelling to help readers navigate longevity, health, purpose, finances, and legacy with clarity and confidence. Debra is a true change maker, one whose work is not only reshaping how we think about aging, but actively making it easier for all of us to age well in America. Thank you for listening! Thank you so very much for listening to the podcast. There are so many other shows out there, so the fact that you took the time to listen in really means a lot!

https://youtu.be/_A__xfP6HBM Laurie Barkman, strategic growth advisor, former $100M CEO, M&A expert, and author of The Business Transition Handbook, helps construction, architecture, and engineering firms build scalable, sustainable businesses that create time, freedom, and long-term value. Having experienced a major acquisition firsthand and led companies through significant growth and change, Laurie now focuses on helping mature business owners navigate the complex journey of building enterprise value and preparing for future transitions. We explore Laurie's BUILT Method—Blueprint, Unlock, Integrate, Lead, Transition—a strategic framework designed to help founders of established businesses scale beyond owner dependency and prepare for successful leadership or ownership transitions. Laurie explains how aligning the owner's personal vision with the company's future strategy creates clarity, why measuring enterprise value can unlock new growth decisions, and how proactive transition planning helps entrepreneurs avoid the identity crisis that often follows a business exit. — Take 5 Steps to Transitioning Your Business with Laurie Barkman Good day, dear listeners. Steve Preda here, the Founder of the Summit OS Group, and today my guest is Laurie Barkman, a strategic growth advisor, former a hundred-million-dollar CEO and M&A expert who’s helping construction and engineering companies build scalable, sustainable businesses that creates time, freedom, and value. Laurie is also the author of the Business Transition Handbook. Laurie, welcome to the show. Steve, thank you so much. I’m so excited to be with you today. Yeah, it’s great to have you. And you have a really interesting niche with the business transition and helping construction or architecture engineering firms. So what brought you to this point? What is your personal why, and how are you manifesting it in your practice? My personal why has been evolving over the years through my career. I think I was always an entrepreneur at heart. I had orbited entrepreneurial companies, like startups, in a big company. I was always the maverick. I was trying to be an intrapreneur and ultimately found myself in a position of finding a way to help business owners in the back part of their journey. While I love startups, I have found that my niche is in working with mature companies—so companies that are over five to seven years old—and helping entrepreneurs in the tough decisions.Share on X It’s the tough decisions that they really wrestle with, feel alone, and I’ve been in executive shoes, right? I’ve been lived that world. I’m living in the entrepreneurial world right now, but again, in this mature space where we think about life differently, we think about transitions differently, and I’ve just kind of embraced that idea, especially as a Gen Xer, of how to help other Gen Xers in that in-between. So is there like a personal reason why you are attracted to this whole idea of the transition?  I’ve lived a lot of transitions, especially in the corporate world, going through an acquisition about 10 years ago, I was an outside hire at a third-generation company, and they said, “We’re looking to hire you not for the next three years, but for the next 20,” which was really exciting, but it ended up being three. And the reason why is because a little Bluebird, who wasn’t so little, a global company who was very in acquisitive, I was interested in this business, third-generation company. It was over a billion in revenue. My business unit was about 10% of the total. So again, sizable business unit, and myself and the other executives had to work really, really hard to keep our foot on the gas pedal, making sure that the deal, if we were, was going to go through that we helped make it go through—which we did. It was out of the blue. The company was not on the market. But I saw firsthand the innovation, the growth, and the transition over the three generations of the stories of how it went from one to the next was just so fascinating to me. So when I ultimately was part of the integration team, I left the business. The short answer was that I was just there for three years. And so after that I really saw an opportunity to help other entrepreneurs on their journey. So this notion of that we’re going to grow, we’re going to innovate, and then eventually we’re going to transition—maybe it’s a family business, maybe it’s founder-led. Nonetheless, we want to create value, we want to have good handoffs, and I saw things were working well.Share on X As I mentioned, I joined at the point of the third generation. Then it was up to the corporate gods take it from there. And so I thought about ways to add value and work with inspired entrepreneurs who envision a future legacy for themselves, the people they love, the communities they serveShare on X but they’re just stuck. They feel stuck in some way. They’re kind of on their path. They’re not at the end of the path. They’re on it, and they need that support. That’s really what’s been motivating me and driving me for the last seven plus years. Yeah. That’s a wonderful journey, and it’s a very wordy thing because these entrepreneurs, they build a company, and then they don’t know how to allow it to grow up. And you basically are there and help them with the empty nesting and the pre-empty nesting, getting them into good courage. That’s also very important. So one of the ways you, I understand you do this is you call it the BUILT Method, which is kind of neat because you work with construction, engineering, architecture firms. So what is the BUILD Method is about, and how does it help people?  Yeah, the  BUILD Method is definitely an acknowledgement that we are in a physical world, and I appreciate you making that connection.Share on X And it’s not lost on our audience, hopefully. It’s such an important space. We really, in a time of AI and such dramatic change, the built environment of architecture, engineering, design companies that are envisioning their futures. There’s like any industry, there’s a lot of changes. And so this is a blueprint, if you will. That’s the “B,” right? It’s a blueprint for what is your vision and what is the firm model, what should it be in the future? It’s really that roadmap of future growth. The “U” is an unlocked. So many of us feel stuck. Maybe we’re stuck in the day-to-day because we have owner-dependent businesses. Maybe we feel stuck because our revenues are plateaued or declining. And we see ourselves as a bottleneck. Maybe we’re a bottleneck for a variety of reasons, which I’m sure we could talk about. The “I” is all about integration. And so, what do we need to do to document our systems and put things in place so that we don’t have risks in terms of not only owner dependency, but any other employees where there could be gaps should someone leave the organization or have some other untimely departure? The “L” is lead, and lead is not used lightly. Lead is really with clarity and not with chaos. And for owner-dependent businesses, people that have companies that can’t thrive without them, this tends to be a real challenge that they want to lead from the front, but they’re not. And they're so in the weeds in the business, they can't see the forest for the trees. They're not working on the business. So really helping my clients find that clarity is so important.Share on X And then the “T”, last but not least, stands for transition. It’s probably my favorite word at this point. And it’s not just transition or change for any sake. It’s good to have that confidence and to be in control, to be in the driver’s seat, and to be proactive about change. It’s why I wrote the book, The Business Transition Handbook. It’s really encouraging entrepreneurs to not think about an exit as a point in time and a finite point in time. It’s why I do talk about exit and I do talk about exit planning, but my recognition is that this is a finite action, and a transition is a journey. It's a path, and that's why my business is named Business Transition Sherpa, because I am with you on your journey. So the BUILT Method is really all about these different aspects and helping entrepreneurs on their journey.Share on X STEVE PREDA: Yeah. This is very cool. And there is a lifecycle to business, and there’s a lifecycle to an entrepreneur as well. And hopefully the business’s lifecycle is much longer than the entrepreneur’s. So someone is going to take it on, and you want to create a great legacy and a great business. So your way of the blueprint or your version of blueprint is different. Is it like what people call mission, vision, values kind of thing or there’s more to it? I think it does start with that. I mean, those are so fundamental, and my overall approach with strategic transition planning is the acknowledgement that there’s different aspects of the planning that we need to do as business owners, and one of those aspects is a blueprint for the business. And the business fundamentals of where do we want to be in five to seven years or ten years. Another part of that, which is a dovetail, is where does the owner want to be? What’s their personal future vision? And we start to intertwine those things, especially in this age and life stage. I work a lot with, as I mentioned, Gen Xers, and so we are in the mid-fifties of our lives, and statistically speaking, we’re about five to seven years away from a significant life transition. A lot of the Gen Xers, especially business owners I work with, are saying, “I’m looking ahead. I see what the baby boomers have done, and I don’t want to do it their way. I want to do it differently. I’m not going to die at my desk, and I want other things out of my life. My business has provided this and that for me, which has been valuable, but I’m ready for something different. I just don’t know what it is.” So we integrate in this blueprint. Their vision is not just for the business, but it's for themselves as well. And it's a big reason why I work directly one-on-one with the owners, founders.Share on X You and I have talked offline about the role of management team. It’s so important for me. It’s really, really important to give that private time and private space for the owner because these are such important questions that will influence the direction of many lives. And if we’re unwavering, it feels a little uncertain, and we don’t want to necessarily showcase that uncertainty to our teams. So the blueprint part of this is a bit of ideation as well. A big part of what we do is we work on what their future vision is, and it takes into account this age and life stage component of what we’ve been talking about. Yeah. That’s really interesting because maybe you find that as well, that sometimes the vision—the individual vision of the entrepreneur and the company’s vision gets confused. And the entrepreneur may not realizing that their vision may be to transition out of the company, but that’s not going to be the vision for the company because the company for them to be able to transition, has to have a much longer view and people have to believe in it, so that even with the founder, they’re going to be successful. So that is an interesting conundrum that I vision for with an entrepreneur like that. Do you find that to be the case? It is a conundrum. I think it’s just a lonely place in our heads and for owners and founders who have a lot on their shoulders. “Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” right? It’s a saying that means so much. I think that people want to explore options. They don’t want to lock in on something and put all their eggs in that one basket. I have found that owners who create options for eventual transition are better positioned than folks who have placed bets. I could tell you so many stories, Steve. So for example, especially in our engineering, architecture, and design-type of audience, owners sometimes are placing bets on their internal management to buy them out over time. I had one gentleman call me—I’d say he’s a baby boomer. He had a wonderful number two, had been grooming the number two for eventual. What he had envisioned in his mind was of to sell the business to him, and not only did the number two not want that; he resigned. And it felt like such a betrayal. He was so upset. I had talked to him months after this happened, and he was still upset about it. He felt like it was a starting over in a lot of ways for his own exit plan, which it was. And so we try to prevent against that. Yeah, there's a lot of things that we can do to try to figure out if we have the right people in the right seats. And that's important.Share on X I know you spent a lot of time on this as well, working with management to say, “Do we have the right people in the right seats?” And we do assessments, and those are great. Those are skills and strengths, and we should do that. But what I have found is that we don’t do that when it comes to ownership, especially if we think that the owner is inside the company. And we can talk about it—I’ve created an assessment for that because it’s a high-level way to just get your head around. Do people on my team have an ownership mentality or not? We’re not recruiting for that. We’re recruiting for the skills and strengths that we need for that time. And when we’re growing people over a long period of time, you can imagine how that becomes even more of a problem because if we assume they’re an owner, they have a owner mindset, and they don’t—and they’re more cash—oriented versus equity—oriented and other things—that puts us in a trap. Yeah. I think it’s a big trap. I read it somewhere, I know where I read it from. Dan Kennedy, who’s like a small business guru—he was big in the 2000s—and he once said that the worst number in business is one. It’s one salesperson; it’s one successor who will have to come through. I think this is a big mistake of business owners that they try to clone themselves because they think that if they just find one person who is going to be as good as me, and all my problems are solved. Whether you call it an integrator who is going to come in and run the show and I can just be up there and vision and dream about stuff, I think it’s a huge mistake. I much prefer the idea of creating mini-CEOs in your business who can really strategically own their functions. So anyhow, yeah, this is a big problem. But I’d like to move on to the next letter in the acronym, which is “U”. I really love this word: “unlock.” It’s very inspiring. Unlock—how do you unlock? How do you figure out how to open up the floodgates of opportunity or whatever you mean by unlock? I think part of it is a diagnostic around where is the business today and what are some of the things that we’ve set as goals for enterprise value. What is enterprise value? Are we measuring it? Most often we’re not, and the one big unlock is just this recognition that we have set KPIs for our business, which are great, and we’re using them with our teams, and we’re operationalizing those. Love it. Awesome. Keep that going. But what a business owner is not measuring most often is the enterprise value.  And if we are measuring that, we might make different choices in how we’re investing our resources if our objective is to increase that value. So we might say, “Well, what is enterprise value?” Okay. So we need to understand that. And then, what is it in measurement terms—either through a professional like myself who can help us understand and not just talking to your buddies at the golf club or what you think your business might be worth? And if we can really get some data around that. You know, I love my analytical entrepreneurs, which is one of the reasons I love this space. They're analytical people, and they like the numbers, and they want to have some structure around it. So that's what we do, is we start with the baselining.Share on X Where is the business today? And let’s set some targets. We look at, “Well, what’s best in class in that particular industry?” So again, the AEC industry, we have some benchmarks around that. And then we have to understand, “Well, what are some of the value drivers?” One big, big value driver, of course, is going to be financial performance. So what’s beyond that? And what are these hidden things that we don’t know that can be detracting value? And so if we dig into those things, it’s like an unlock. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it. My best example of that in this conversation is enterprise value. Once you know where your enterprise value is today, you can’t unsee that. And you also can’t unsee the desire for many people, which is, “Oh wow, what if I could increase that?” Then we’re talking about millions of dollars of value at some point in the future. So aligning that with our exercise we talked about earlier, which is our age and life-stage exercise around exit timeline. It’s so powerful because now we can set some targets that are meaningful to our communities, our employees, our stakeholders, and ourselves, and aligning the personal, the business, and the financial towards this overall picture. It’s a major unlock. And do you find that—what is the level of transparency you see that these business owners allow for their team to see? So would they actually show them that this is our profitability, these are our margins, gross profit, this is our overhead, this is our net profit, this is how we calculate enterprise value, and here is how you can help me improve it. Is this how it goes or it’s more everyone is just focusing on a couple of KPIs that are within their program?  It’s an evolution. I think a lot of times in the beginning, we keep it a little close because we’re trying to understand it ourselves. And for firms that have developed a cost-of-goods-sold model, a gross profit, they’re already measuring that. Maybe they’re doing that by lines of business. That is really powerful. I have one client in the engineering space that just put that in. And they doubled revenue last year, by the way. So they’re a high-growth company in the engineering space, which is so exciting. They’re doing about $10 million in revenue, and they just put that in for the different lines of business. And how it’s helping them is it’s giving them a year-over-year perspective, which is good. They can see where they’re investing, and they can also see payback opportunities where there’s an intersection with the team. I think is on the business side for growth levers. When we talk about value drivers, and we'll just pick one that's quite common beyond financial numbers, it's our ability to drive recurring revenue, subscription models, and different flavors of…Share on X So for this particular client, we’ve been working on developing a recurring revenue program for them, and we’re at the starting line, but what’s going to be so exciting, I think, not only in terms of their core business growth that they’re seeing, but once we get that recurring revenue program up and running, it’s going to be material. Once the revenues are large enough, of course, it’s going to be material on their enterprise value. And so the dovetail is, well, yeah, he’s not going to launch the subscription revenue business by himself. He needs others to help him do that. But the idea for it and the vision for it and then the unlock right, comes from this type of exploration. Yeah. Wow. That’s great. And it is definitely a challenge that construction companies often struggle with. How do I do a project-based company primarily? How do I drive recurring revenue, subscription models? That would probably deserve its own podcast, this whole topic or maybe a podcast series. Maybe I’ll talk about it another time. I still like us to cover the last letter in the acronym: the transition. Because that’s where I see a lot of people who have sold their business. I was an investment banker in my past life, and I don’t know how many times we saw the business, and the owner was so excited that they basically neutralized the risk, and then they had this big pile of cash, and they bought the boat and they bought the car and the house. And six months later, the boat was collecting water in the marina. You know, they showed the car off to everyone, and it was no longer exciting, but it was very expensive, and they didn’t know where to store it, kind of thing. And then they were getting bored, and they were kind of disappointed because their identity got ahead. How do you deal with it? How do you help people with the identity issue and this whole thinking about transition the right way? You nailed it. That identity is a really big part of why many business owners feel lonely and a bit depressed one year after a sale. There’s many reasons why that could happen. I think the statistics are a little bit over the place, but I do believe that identity is a big part of it. And so if we are working on this together, an example with one of my clients is I gave them a book to read because I got an inkling of what he was interested in, which is themes around justice. And he’s seeking ways to have an impact in his community that are truly outside the business for lots of reasons. But he just innately wants this type of involvement, and we are going through an exploration of what that could look like. He’s in a good place with his business. We're continuing to grow it, and we're working on his growth and enterprise value growth and things like that.Share on X But this sort of sits on this in a parallel path, and it will intersect at some point because we all are human. We have an age and life stage to us, and how he’s envisioning spending his time over the next 10 years. He wants to continue to have a path forward. But we’ve created a space for when we meet, we’re meeting one-on-one, we create that space to really talk about how does he want to spend his time outside the business. And note the timeline here. He’s about 10 years away. And to his credit, he’s saying, “Yeah, I want to start doing something now.” And if that’s how we can think about it, Steve. I think it’s really important. It’s almost like this giant on-ramp. We’re not going to just sell our business and then, all of a sudden we’re going to go have this amazing thing that we’re going to create tomorrow, right? It just takes time. And another way to think about it is like a portfolio—a portfolio of how you look at your identity, how you feel about yourself, and how you spend your time—and has to align. Really, it can align with your core values, it can align with how you want to spend time with people you love. So I have one client, engineering company owner, who is very committed to the church that they support, and he spends a lot of time and a lot of resources. It’s very clear on the company’s website how the company has a policy of donating proceeds from profits to this entity. So it’s well known, and it’s just part of their culture. And in developing his 10-year view, this is part and parcel of it. It’s involving his family members; it’s involving the company. It’s helped fueling a decision around their transition path. They’ve considered lots of different options: Should they sell to a third party? Should they become an ESOP? And the dovetail, I think, for many, is to figure out what is that right fit based on what’s important to you. What’s going to give you that feeling of that completeness and balance that you’re seeking? Wow, that’s amazing. You have people who are thinking about that 10-years out. That is impressive. I’ve never seen that. If a business owner thinks 3-years out about that, it’s already much better than average. So you obviously are inculcating them with the right kind of ideas. So tell me about your business. So let’s switch gears here a little bit. I mean, you ran this a hundred million dollar business for three years, and it got sold; it got integrated. So I’m sure that you had some big challenges there. What is it that you would consider the hardest decision you ever had to make in your business? Yeah, I think in today’s world, I can try to put my coaching hat on for this answer. I’m trying to build a practice that is creating value for others. And so one big thing is to make sure that I’m doing that now with my client relationships and how we measure things. I’m confident that we are doing that, but inherently, if we have one voice, how do we reach many? And I think a lot of companies… it’s like, “Oh, that’s a marketing question.” Yes. And right, it is a marketing question. There’s a lot of things that are dynamically changing in our world. How do we reach the people that we want to reach? How do we share a message? So that is no matter what business you have, I think we can all sort of empathize with that. So I do feel like that is changing a lot. So the challenge is, how do I meet people where they are, right? I think podcasting has been a great vehicle. We’re doing more of that. We’re going to be doing more in-person things as well. I do think that we’re very much in a powerful digital age, and the more digital tools we’re putting in front of us and the more digital time we’re spending. My hypothesis, Steve, is that the value of the interaction—the one-on-one as well as group—is not lost on anybody. That it’s going to be even, probably even more important. And especially as things, and if you’re reading some of these AI articles about potential impact in our economy, there’s going to be a lot of need for us to come together, and lean on each other’s shoulders, and be good, solid resources for one another in times of dramatic change. I fully agree with you. I have that feeling as well that there’s so much alienation that is being caused by the digital stuff, and AI in particular, that people are replacing conversations with chatGPT conversations. I think people will just realize that this is all unreal, or we don’t know whether it’s real or not real. And there’s so much noise because everyone is creating all these posts with AI, and you know what is a real voice here? You won’t know unless you meet the person in person and then you hear their own voice and provided they’re not a robot because that can also happen that you have humanoid robots, but let’s not go that far. So I do agree, and I think that your personal recommendations are going to be even more powerful in the future because you don’t know what is real and what is fake. People also starve. We sit in front of our Zoom screens, and it’s not the same as meeting someone in person. There is a different quality to it, and we are going to starve for it. I was just thinking this morning that I looked at my calendar, and I’m just coming out of my season of spending days with my entrepreneur clients, and it’s over. And next couple months, it’s going to be pretty quiet. I’m going to be in my office, and I’m dreading having to sit here on my own. So I’m thinking about, “Okay, I have to get out there. I have to meet people.” So I’m recording video on this one. Last question. Well, penultimate question to you is, what do you think is the most important question that an entrepreneur should be asking themselves? I’m going to come back to kind of this AI conversation. I think every CEO needs to be using ai. And I think every CEO needs to be considering how their teams can use it and not put your head in sand. I think there’s a lot of impact, positive impact that can be had by just some basic productivity improvements, which is kind of how 95% of AI is being used today. There’s nothing wrong with that. And then from there can lead us to coming up with ways to enhance our business. I have one client that’s using it for proposal development. It’s been a dramatic improvement in quality and time, and that’s just one case study example, but there’s so many others. Following’s. Okay. You don’t have to be a leader. And just being recognizing that AI is going to touch so many aspects of our business and personal lives. And then the other thing is like, don’t stop hiring people because of AI either. There’s a lot of doomsday articles coming out now about the economy and impact of AI. There may be some scary truth to some of those things. And then I’m seeing articles from folks saying, “Look, AI shouldn’t take over your entire business. You’re still going to need smart people. You just want to give them the tools.” As an example, there’s a friend of mine who runs a digital marketing agency, and you might think, “Oh, that’s the kind of business that’s shrinking.” Well, they’re over 200 people, and they’re using AI in very efficient and effective ways. So it’s not a recipe to just dial back your human capital. It’s a recipe to do the unlock and do the think about how you can best use this information to create a scalable practice. Yeah, I think so. Also, this has been seen in history that since the Industrial Revolution, everyone was afraid of losing jobs. And the more technology there is, the more ideas there are for further services, the more demand there is because all the value is being created, and we want to spend that value on more stuff, right? And yeah, I agree that AI is just raising the bar. So every company has to now be AI-empowered and do a lot more. We can’t just deliver what we were delivering a year ago. We have to deliver more, which means that those people who are AI-enabled, they’ll just have to raise their standard. Yeah, I agree with you. So if people would like to learn more about let’s say they have an AEC-type of company—architectural, engineering, construction. Did I get it right?  Yes.  And they are thinking about the future and the transition and build the blueprint for a great company that has more enterprise value, et cetera, or they read your book and they realize that this is exactly what they need. How can they find you and how can they connect to you? Well, my website’s probably a great place to go, which is btsherpa.com. And if people are interested in that succession assessment that I mentioned earlier, just put slash succession—so btsherpa.com/succession—and you’ll get access to the assessment. You can take it multiple times for different people in mind as well. And so my book is on there, my podcast, and I really do hope that people follow up with me. If you have any questions at all about anything we talked about today. Fantastic. So do check out Laurie Barkman via btsherpa.com/succession if you want to read the materials and download stuff. Thank you, Laurie, for sharing all your great ideas and insights. If you enjoyed the conversation, then stay tuned because every week I bring an exciting entrepreneur, thought leader to the show who will share with you about frameworks about growing your business and making it more valuable. So thanks, Laurie, for coming, and thanks for listening. Important Links: Laurie's LinkedIn Laurie's website

"Louder Than You Think" Like many Gen Xers, I knew Gary Young as the drummer of Pavement, but for anyone from Stockton, he was way more than that. Let me back up. A key figure in the Stockton underground, Young played in a bunch of bands like The Fall of Christianity and he was responsible for bringing Black Flag and the Dead Kennedys to play shows in Stockton. Though almost twenty years older than the guys in Pavement, Young was their original drummer and played on their first few EPs and the seminal Slanted and Enchanted record. Young was one of the great characters of rock and roll and to get a real idea as to how charismatic, magnetic and mercurial he was, the documentary Louder Than You Think traces his life in art and music with unvarnsihed honesty and shambolic joy. The soundtrack, which features The Authorities, Edward Dahl, Pavement, Hot Spit Dancers, and Gary Young's Hospital, among others, is a wonderful tour of the Stockton Underground. Yes, Young got fired from Pavement, but what's cool about his story is that he stayed connected to the band--and that's the secret with all these Stockton kids--they stuck together even when some of them fell apart. As for Kelly Foley, the former singer of The Torn Lords had a career in Forensic Psychology and when he retired, he devoted himself soley to making art. Kelly knew Gary for decades and even had a project called Blue Boy Cometh which featured Young on drums just before his death. Foley is a lovely guy and he's kind of become the forensic archivist of the Stockton underground, making sure the paths of all the artists he knew--from Grant Lee Phillips to Crill--have their work preserved. www.independentprojectrecords.com (http://www.independentprojectrecords.com) www.bombshellradio.com www.stereoembersmagazine.com (http://www.stereoembersmagazine.com) wwww.alexgreenbooks.com Stereo Embers: THREADS + BLUESKY + IG: @emberspodcast Email: editor@stereoembersmagazine.com

This week on the Exciting & New podcast, Jason, Andy and Dana welcome Mac and Dan back on the show to discuss the 1986 drama River's Edge.  In this seminal 80s flick, John Wick and George McFly take opposing stands on how to help their friend deal with a problem down by the "river's edge".  Meanwhile, a doll goes missing, sending this small California town into manhunt mode.  Truly a classic of the era, watch what made Gen X so cynical, and enjoy the podcast (by a bunch of Gen Xers).Jason, Andy and Dana will discuss a 1986 movie weekly, breaking down all the nonsense there within. The 3 hosts all work together and everyone else around them was getting really annoyed at all the movie talk, so they decided to annoy the world in podcast form.Check out previous seasons to hear them discuss 1982, 1983, 1984 & 1985 movies, as well as a full season of Love Boat episodes (if that is your thing). Plus one-off specials and a weekly mini "what are we watching" podcast.#jezoo74 #aegonzo1 #danacapoferri #exciting_new

On episode 736 of the 40+ Fitness Podcast, host Coach Allan sits down with returning guest David Frost, NFPT Certified Master Fitness Trainer, champion masters rower, and author of Strong to Save: Your Gen X Imperative to Die Harder and Later. Together, they dive into what it really takes for Gen Xers—and anyone over 40—to extend not just their lifespan, but their healthspan by training smarter and embracing functional fitness. You'll hear David Frost break down his practical framework of moving from "decent" to "good" to "great" when it comes to strength and wellness, discuss the crucial difference between healthspan and lifespan, and challenge popular anti-aging and "super ager" myths with his no-nonsense philosophy on aging well. Coach Allan and David Frost also get real about the importance of sleep, nutrition, and recovery, and share actionable strategies to enhance your quality of life right now—regardless of where you're starting. If you're curious about how to unlock more energy, strength, and resilience as you get older, and want to take away powerful insights you can put into action today, this episode is for you. Time Stamps: 03:39 Invest in Your Future Health 07:04 Get Decent, Live Longer 12:20 Progression and Healthy Aging 16:48 Fitness Years Over Calendar Years 18:34 Heart Health and Superaging Insights 21:11 Essential 5 Movements for Fitness 25:56 Exercise, Aging, and Joint Care 29:37 Training Power for Real Life 30:55 Rowing, Power, and Endurance 36:39 Sleep, Health, and Recovery Insights 39:12 Competitive Approach to Activity Tracking 42:16 Be a Student, Start Now https://wellpastforty.com 

Diversifying Investments Beyond the U.S. | International Investing for Gay Gen X RetirementAre you unintentionally overexposed to the U.S. stock market?In this episode of Queer Money (Ep. 631), we unpack why investors are diversifying investments away from the United States and what international investing means for gay men 45+ who have most of their retirement savings tied up in 401(k)s and IRAs.Over the last six months alone, billions have rotated out of U.S. equities. International markets have outperformed. The dollar's dominance is shifting. Central banks are diversifying reserves. And yet most American retirement portfolios remain overwhelmingly U.S.-centric.That's concentration risk.And money hates concentration risk.We walk through:Why global capital is rotating into developed and emerging marketsWhat “de-dollarization” means for your retirement savingsHow international investing can reduce political and currency riskWhy diversification is not anti-American — it's pro-retirement securityThe risks of being overly exposed to AI-heavy U.S. marketsHow we personally are reallocating part of our portfolio internationallyIf you're a Gen Xer or older Millennial with decades of savings sitting in U.S.-only index funds, this episode may challenge your assumptions about buy-and-hold domestic investing.Key Takeaways:Diversifying investments reduces concentration risk tied to one economy and one currency.International investing has outpaced U.S. markets in recent performance cycles.Currency alignment matters — especially if you plan to retire abroad.A globally diversified portfolio reflects today's multipolar economy.Active, adaptive diversification can strengthen long-term retirement resilience.We're not abandoning America. We're protecting our future.Chapters:00:00 - Intro01:12 - Capital is rotating02:49 - International outperformance04:41 - Policy and geopolitics07:21 - Why diversification matters09:02 - U.S. market still matters10:02 - What we did12:48 - OutroMentioned in this episode:Make your retirement fabulous! Not sure if you can retire or when? Worried about how much you can safely spend without running out of money? We help you get clear answers and the systems to retire with confidence and peace of mind. Let's go!Queer Money Retirement VaultYour fabulous retirement in Portugal is calling!Ready to turn your IRA assets into a gateway to living in Europe? With the Optimize Portugal Golden Opportunities fund you can do just that. Join hundreds of other U.S. investors taking control of their retirement and using the assets they have to open doors to freedom. Click below to get your Portugal Golden Visa!Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!Get Your Portugal Golden Visa Here!Want the confidence to retire when and how you truly want?If you're considering retirement abroad, or simply want a second & third set of eyes on your retirement plan, we help gay foks retire fabulously — wherever that may be. Our retirement mentorship can help you gain the confidence to say yes to retirement! Queer Money Retirement Mentorship

In a special interview, Will speaks with Tamara Dever, author of The Ultimate Mix Tape, a series of music trivia books. Tami has just published The Day We Found Yesterday, another unique tribute to the 80s music. Endorsed by MTV legend Martha Quinn, The Day We Found Yesterday is a vibrant, intergenerational story that celebrates connection, creativity, and the power of the past to shape our present. Although it was (supposedly) written for children, it is a thrilling way for Gen Xers to revisit the greatest decade for music. It includes over 500 clever, visual '80s music references and illustrated celebrity cameos sure to delight GenXers.0:00 - Introduction1:10 - InterviewFollow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/1980snow.Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@1980snowGet our new book Totally Bogus (But True) Tales of the 1980s at Amazon.Get your copy of The Day We Found Yesterday at https://www.yesterdaybook.com/.Learn more about Tami's other 80s books at www.totallycool80s.com.

HOUR 2: Nearly 4 in 10 Gen Xers say they will bring their parents home rather than assisted living. full 2124 Thu, 05 Feb 2026 21:00:00 +0000 4SOdIUw0mjrQpy3G9zoDQ9WGVvdgcy27 news The Dana & Parks Podcast news HOUR 2: Nearly 4 in 10 Gen Xers say they will bring their parents home rather than assisted living. You wanted it... Now here it is! Listen to each hour of the Dana & Parks Show whenever and wherever you want! © 2025 Audacy, Inc. News False

Members of Gen X are famously overlooked – maybe we're sleeping on them? Writer Amanda Fortini joins host Krys Boyd to discuss how being a latch-key generation fostered creativity, why this generation is (finally) having an influence, and why it's significant that Gen Xers had the last fully analog childhood. Her article “Is Gen X Actually the Greatest Generation?” was published in T Magazine. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Lin-Manuel Miranda returns to The Hamilcast for the third and final time… at least for now. Lin was first on the show in 2017, and it was true Russell Hammond partying with "real Topeka people" moment when he came over to a then-stranger's apartment and recorded in my living room for about four hours. In this penultimate episode, we're talking about HamilTEN, HamilTEEN, and HamilTIME. Translation: the ways the show did and didn't celebrate the ten year anniversary, the fact that Hamilton will be the high school play in a few years (!!!), and how things and people have changed over the last decade of Hamilton being out in the world. We also talk about Lin's experience with Jonathan Larson's tick, tick... BOOM!, from having his mind blown after seeing it for the first time over 20 years ago, to directing the film adaptation ("Andrew Garfield was the other hand on the ouija board" - whaaaat?!), and the similarities and differences in Lin's and Jonathan's writing styles. And hey boppers, I hope you're ready because we get into Lin's work on Warriors: The Concept Album with Eisa Davis and I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS. Lin talks about how the concept album came to be, what it was like to work on this extremely women-centric project, how 1979 is "fertile" for music, our mutual love for Aneesa Folds, and the fact that Lin asked super famous MCs like Nas to rap lyrics THEY DIDN'T WRITE about the BOROUGH. THEY. ARE. FROM. Incredible. We wrap it all up talking about Basketcase, Lin's nineties jukebox musical that lives in the hearts of millennials and Gen Xers everywhere. This episode was recorded in November of 2025 at WTF Media Studios in Manhattan and produced with Natalie Grillo from Any Moment Productions in collaboration with Meghan Miles. Warriors: The Concept Album Lin-Manuel Miranda: The Education of an Artist by Daniel Pollack-Pelzner /// #88: Lin-Manuel Miranda // Part One (2017) #89: Lin-Manuel Miranda // Part Two (2017) #90: Lin-Manuel Miranda // Part Three (2017) #91: Lin-Manuel Miranda // Part Four // The B-Sides (2017) #92: Lin-Manuel Miranda // Part Five // The B-Sides (2017) #225: Lin-Manuel Miranda Returns! // Part One (2020) #226: Lin-Manuel Miranda Returns! // Part Two (2020) /// Gillian's Website The Hamilcast on TikTok The Hamilcast on Instagram Join the Patreon Peeps