Your Life on Purpose

The other day I talked with someone who read my article about living inspired (and therefore “in spirit”). Like what often happens, we talked BIG PICTURE. Like a 'I only have so much time on this earth and what I do with my time matters' kind of conversation. When I asked him a question that Dr. Wayne Dyer often asked (“What's your intention?”), he spoke about his desire to build a legacy. He doesn't care about whether or not someone will remember his name, but wants more than anything for people to benefit from his life's work down the road, well after he leaves this life. He wants to create something that matters. And something tells me you do too. Much like how you may not know Thomas Edison, but you surely will benefit from using a light bulb. Or how you may never have heard of Tim Berners-Lee, but you surely will have used the World Wide Web. Or you may not know Elon Musk, but you certainly have used e-commerce (i.e. Paypal). He's also the guy behind sending monkeys to Mars (i.e. SpaceX), bringing the electric car to mass production (i.e. Tesla), and cladding our homes with solar panels to fuel our energy use (i.e. SolarCity) I understand this drive to build a legacy that matters. That's the hero inside of us calling. Screaming. Reading to be activated and charge into legacy-building combat. But being a hero on this level requires some hard choices. The man I sat there having this conversation with happens to also have a beautiful two-year daughter, a loving wife, and also is a co-caretaker for his parents. Would building an epic legacy mean that he can't also play these equally important roles? History teaches us that's not so easy. In Walter Isaacson's biography on Steve Jobs, he equally celebrates the genius gifts that Jobs has given all of society while also exposing that in his formative years at Apple, he was an absent father and husband. It wasn't until his later years and the birth of his son Reed that he began to take his family role seriously and did a 180 degree turn. He quickly switched from staying late at Apple to being home every evening for a meal with the family. But this was after he had already established his legacy at Apple (and Pixar). A similar story goes for Elon Musk who has achieved extreme success. Musk is notorious for spending so much time on his projects that he is absent in his role as family man. His ex-wife, Justine Musk, wrote very publicly about how difficult it was to be married to someone so devoted to his work. On her popular blog, she wrote that “Extreme success results from an extreme personality and comes at the cost of many other things.” In this case, it was the cost of their marriage. But do you have to give up being a loving partner and parent because you have such an internal drive to create something that matters? Of course not. Just ask my friend Stephen Tracy. For the past several years, Stephen has held one of the most coveted positions by millennials all over the world. Tracy held a high-level position at Google. He scootered between meetings, traveled all over the world on the company dime, and filled his belly with Google's free delicious food. While working at Google, Tracy's spirit kept egging him on to leave Google and start his own project that matters. Besides, Tracy's position at Google required a tremendous amount of time. Time that Tracy couldn't choose how to use. And that time included being away from his husband. So Tracy had a spark of insight and lit his entrepreneurial candle, quite literally. He made the hard delicious on purpose to leave Google and start up a for-purpose candle company. Tracy has a tremendous love for his former employer, Google, but has not looked back since taking the leap. When we sat down for a chat, he said: “I've found so much more purpose in every single day since leaving Google. The biggest change is in the alignment between how I want to spend my time, and how I actually spend my time. Now I choose where my time and energy goes. I feel liberated, empowered, and excited by the future. It's been the best decision I ever made.” Tracy partnered with his husband to create KEAP and just recently launched on Kickstarter, already raising well over their 25k goal! —- So, what about YOU? As you activate the hero within and walk your heroic journey, how do you choose to spend your time? It's the age-old question of work vs. life balance, but with the entrepreneurial revolution that's upon us, finding this balance is quite difficult when it's your work that brings you life. And now, I need to make a hard choice on purpose. This episode will be the last episode for season 2. Season 3 will be here before you know it, but in the meantime I have to press pause on the podcasting fun for a little while. Of course, I want to hear from you. What do you want to see in season 3? Also, if this happens to be the first time you've tuned into the show, make sure to listen through the over 90 episodes that nearly 100,000 thousand people have listened to. And if you haven't checked out yourlop.com yet, make sure to sign up for my newsletter. And lastly, I will be creating more meditations because i've been touched to see that over 30 thousand people have listened to the meditations I created on Insight Timer. How awesome is that!? From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for joining me on this journey and I seriously look forward to season 3. It's a beautiful time to be alive and I thank you for joining me on the stage.

On today's episode, I'd like to talk about quality over quantity when it comes to the information you hear throughout your day. With literally millions of books published each year (traditionally, not even counting self-published), along with all the many articles that circulate around our social media channels, just how do we know we're actually reading high-quality information and not just product-placed marketing mediocrity? Or worse, how do we know that we're not just feeding our own confirmation bias and growing ignorant in our own little bubble? If you're like me, you love to read information: data, case studies, new theoretical research findings, tips and tricks, and so on. But we only have so much time! Unlike the world Before Google (B.G.), the problem now is not finding an answer when researching a question, but rather sifting through the abundance of information. There's just so much! The thing is, when it comes to making major life decisions like choosing a new career path, a new area of study, or embarking on a new hero's journey, what we read directly and what we listen to significantly influences where we point our feet. So, how do we know if what we're actually reading is of high quality? Here are five questions to consider whenever you dig your nose into some prose. Who is the Author? Whether you're reading a major blog syndicate like The Huffington Post, New York Times or Elephant Journal or you're reading someone's personal blog, dig into the author's background. Most of the time, all you need to do is just copy and paste the author's name into Google. You'll find that most writers for these platforms are like me (and perhaps you). They run their own media platform because they have a message they want to share and then guest-post on these larger sites to help grow their reach. In the old days, an author was merely credible depending on what college they graduated from. Now…not so much. A degree is only one source of establishing ethos (or credibility) and unfortunately a college degree doesn't mean as much anymore (even if it's Ivy League). Take a microscopic look into the reader. What did she study in school? What is her life's work? What books do they cite in their work? Just understand that every author has an inherent bias due to his own background. Where is the Source of The Information? Just like we shouldn't trust a commercial that boasts some new research study that proves this new magical healing pill (because the study was very likely funded by the same company that sells the pill), we shouldn't trust any advice we read without looking deeper into the source of information. In academia, the most credible of sources are peer-reviewed articles: articles that have been written by professionals in a field then critiqued and revised by other professionals in the field. Unfortunately, these are often very dry articles that are no more fun to read than watching paint dry. Traditionally in academia, the lowest credible source is a subjective opinion like what would be found in a personal blog. These, however, are often the most enjoyable to read because they have as much flair as Barbra Streisand on Broadway. This is where it comes down to purpose. What are you reading for? If it's for an academic article, then stick to peer-reviewed articles. If it's for personal growth or entertainment, then most often a blog with a unique voice will stand out. Is This Long Form or Short Form Content? Trust me, I understand the limits we have on our time. Most people are only able to read a few articles a day or listen to a short podcast episode on a morning run. Reading a book or listening to an entire audiobook can be daunting. Understand though that a 750 word blog post or one podcast episode will rarely dive as deep as a full-length work. Sure, you can squeeze the message in a book into one-liners, but doing so is like going swimming in a kiddie pool. It's fun to splash around, but you can't really go for a swim. Did a Company Pay for This? Many companies have jumped on the inbound marketing bandwagon to grow their business. And why not? It's a great long-term affordable marketing strategy. How it works is that a company hires writers (sometimes in-house staff, but most of the time virtual assistants through 3rd party companies) to write 2-3 articles per week, if not more. Using rich long-tail keywords, the company's goal is to land that coveted first page ranking in Google without having to spend a cent on pay-per-click (PPC) advertising. And it works…for the company. The content, however, is typically mediocre and incredibly biased. Why? Because the whole purpose behind the content is to drive users to the company website. Not all company blogs are bad, however. I've helped a number of companies build up their blogs. The better company blogs focus less on rich long-tail keywords and focus more on sharing customer stories or personal employee experiences. Is this Click Bait? When you're reading online, if you have to “click to read more” that's a volcanic red flag. Website owners do this typically for a “top ten” list or something like it. Every time a user clicks to read more, a new series of advertisements fill the screen and the company behind the website gets paid a few more dollars while your valuable time gets wasted. — We live in a beautifully connected world where anyone with a keyboard can share their story with the click of a button and we can read a personal blog (or watch a Youtube channel), pick up a copy of a major newspaper, or dive into a peer-reviewed scholarly book. We live in a world of abundant choice and it's a beautiful time to be alive. But in this world of abundance comes the art of choosing. We need to choose carefully what we listen to and read. In college and as a teacher, I've often stressed that high-quality information comes from long-form content that's backed with cited peer-reviewed research. I still believe this holds true for academic writing. Take, for example, my latest read: Lisa Randall's Dark Matter and the Dinosaurs: The Astounding Interconnectedness of the Universe. But there's certainly something beautiful in reading personal writing backed by nothing more than life's magical experiences. What about YOU? I'd love to know how you decide to take in your content information.   Wishing you all a beautiful week ahead, full of love, light, and adventure. Just remember, life is a dance.

Dr. Dyer was a bit obsessed with the work of Abraham Maslow, the founding psychologist who introduced the theory of self-actualization to the world. It's the concept where a person needs to fulfill certain biological needs before one can work on developing into higher consciousness and evolve into the greatest version of oneself (and then sharing that genius to better the world). Before someone can start thinking about “What's my purpose?”, for instance, they need to have a steady supply of food, shelter, water, and feel safe. As I was listening to Dyer's memoir, I started thinking about my own path and while it's been incredible receiving emails from people all around he world who have been touched by my writing, lately I've felt like I've just been going through the motions. So, I'd like to share with you three questions I developed in my journal writing this morning. My hope is that it will inspire you as much as it helps me be confident on my own path. Who am I Serving? Dyer said that the answer to the question “What is my Purpose?” is always the same. Your purpose is to serve others. It's as simple as that. The trick is to find out what you (and only you) can serve to others. That means activating your unique genius and opening it up to the world. Our amalgamation of unique experiences have molded us into who we are today. We all have a beautiful story, full of “coincidence”, that led to you developing your unique genius. It's up to you whether or not you're willing to offer it to others. Are you willing to share your unique genius with the world? For me, I've learned that I have a unique talent to help people feel comfortable sharing their own stories. Because I am so open with my story and my struggles, I allow other people to be real and vulnerable. What am I Creating? In The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron, she says that finding a sense of purpose in life comes through creating art. Cameron argues that so many people in the rat race of a 9-5 get caught up in constantly serving others through either parenting, working a job that doesn't fulfill the soul but provides a pay check, or maintaining our possessions (i.e. home, car). We all need to find time to create art, says Cameron. This could be crafting a compelling article, painting, singing, dancing, or building a desk. When we create art, we're activating our innate form of self. We're tapping into the divine source of creation. So, take your self on a date. Cameron suggests that even the busiest of people can find time to create art. Once a week, find a time (and put it in your calendar) to take your artist self on a date. It could be only for 20 minutes or so, but it's focused time on inspiring the artist that is within all of us. If you played trombone as a kid and stopped playing it when you became a parent or starting working a 9-5, spend twenty minutes with your trombone or listen to a your favorite music artist. If you painted as a kid, but haven't picked up the brush and easel in years, spend just twenty minutes putting paint on white canvas. See what happens. It doesn't matter necessarily what you create. You can erase your writing or even throw out the painting when you're done if you want. What matters is that you consciously spend time with your artist self. You take part in the act of creating art for the sake of saying hello to the artist that lives inside all of us. What am I Scared of? What's often not talked about with Maslow's research is that self-esteem needs to be fulfilled before someone can play in self-actualization. We talk ourselves out of things that can have the most impact in our lives. Like Jay Stolar pointed out to me, so often we just need to get out of our own way, I see this all the time with college students who enter the university and take “the safe route” because they want to make sure that their degree will guarantee a paycheck that will pay back student loans and provide for a future family. But I think we've all learned that there's no “safe” degree. We all know MBA graduates who still haven't landed the coveted CEO position, right? Five years into a job that doesn't fuel their soul, many students often come back to tell me that they're thinking of going back to school to go into a career that fuels their soul. We can't ignore our souls. Our internal intention is with us all the time. It's up to us to recognize it, shake hands with it, and empower it. What about you? These are the three questions I asked myself this morning. What questions help you steer you down your path on purpose?

“The agony of breaking through personal limitations is the agony of spiritual growth. Art, literature, myth and cult, philosophy, and ascetic disciplines are instruments to help the individual past the limiting horizons into spheres of ever-expanding realization.” - Joseph Campbell It's entirely normal for us to run into some sort of wall in our lives, whether that's in the work that we do or in our personal lives. Remember though that feeling like you're in a rut is actually a good thing. Why? Because you're aware of the rut in which you are in. And that's no easy truth to acknowledge. David Foster Wallace made that quite clear when he gave his “This is Water” commencement speech: “It is extremely difficult to stay alert & attentive instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your head.” So, how does one break out of a rut and push through personal limitations?  Try this,    Take Your Artist Self on a Date The whole purpose of art is to evoke awareness in another, to break a mold, to get someone to think. So, take your artist self on a date. Yes, seriously. I repeat. Go ahead and take your artist self on a date. Julia Cameron, the author of The Artist's Way, argues that when we take our artist self on a date, it helps us think beyond our own barriers of thought. So, what does this look like? Consider like I did last week and go to an art gallery with a notebook to write down your thoughts on a few pieces that call to your attention. For instance, last Sunday I went to COSM, a beautiful new-age art gallery which displays Alex and Allyson Grey's psychedelic artwork. The Grey's work is awe-inspiring at least with huge paintings that take cubism and turn it internal. One image stood out to me in particular: a beautiful painting of a woman nursing her child that shows the outside, inside, and ethereal energetic systems of both the mother and child. Okay, I honestly cannot put their art into words, so take a look here to see what I mean. For one hour, I walked around the art gallery (both indoors and out) and then sat down with my notebook to write a poem, then a journal entry where I flushed out my thoughts. It was only an hour, but it was enough to tilt the way I look at things. Consider taking your artist self on one date this week. The only criteria is that you go alone. Go for a walk through nature, visit an art gallery, go to the library and read something new, or just walk around a new neighborhood to break routine.  Read a Challenging Text Even if it's just 30% of a book, consider checking out a book on something you know absolutely nothing about. It's amazing, right, how reading from the comfort of an arm chair can get the mind to travel? For example, I knew very little about organizing and picked up Marie Kondo's book, Spark Joy, and it has opened my mind to the freedom that comes from tidying up our lives. Stoic Discipline When I read the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca's letters, one thing stands out to me. And that's the habit of discipline in which Seneca professes. Seneca argues that if we discipline ourselves to experience a worst-case scenario for a short time, we no longer allow fear of that scenario to control our lives. For instance, if you fear losing your money, say from leaving a salaried job to pursue an entrepreneurial dream, then Seneca would suggest you experience living in poverty for a short time, from one day to one week. Or you could try living off a dollar a day like two college students did in the powerful documentary, Living on One Dollar, but I understand if that's not in your cards right now! Or if living off of rice and water scares you, consider trying it just for a day. Once you shake hands with that which scares you, it no longer has any control and this propels you further down your path on purpose. Philosophical Inquiry Consider joining a group at a local coffee shop that dives deep into philosophical inquiry. Doing so forces us to think outside our own confirmation bias. Meaning, while surrounding ourselves with empowering people is great, doing so traps our thinking into a bubble. Do people actually do this, you ask? It turns out, yes they do, and it's gaining in popularity. Socratic Cafes, a meet-up that engages in Socratic inquiry, continue to pop up in neighborhoods across the world. For instance, I joined one such discussion at a library in New York City where we discussed what it means to live authentically. And boy was it a unique evening because of the variety of people who showed up. Who showed up to chat? One college professor at Columbia University, a few homeless who live on the harsh streets of Manhattan, one middle-aged woman in need of career change, a couple college students, and a marketing consultant. We disagreed more than we agreed and had a heck of a time doing so. One thing is for sure: I walked out of that discussion with my head spinning with new thoughts. Leveling Up Mastermind Consider creating a small mastermind group of 3-5 people where each of you has a similar goal: to launch a business, to create a podcast, to better your teaching practice, to be a better mother/father, for a few examples. The thing here though is to have one A-level person in the group who has pushed through the barriers you are working to push through. For instance, if you are working to launch a new business, ask someone to join the group who can coach you all through the difficulties in starting up a new business venture. Do you need to pay them? Most of the time, no. They will equally gain much from the mastermind because here's a secret: When you teach something, you really, really, really, actually learn it. Teaching concretizes learning. Sometimes though, it does pay to hire a coach who will mentor your group to push through the barriers. This holds true for sports just as much as it does for personal growth. ------------- What about you? Which of these tips ring true for you, if any? Like always, I'd love to hear from you and learn of other ways to break through personal limitations. Wishing you all a beautiful week ahead, full of love, light, and adventure. Just remember, life is a dance.

On this episode, let's dig into affirmation and how we can find affirmation from within. Because really, The affirmation you need comes from within, not from what someone else tells you.    — Even before writing legend Stephen King sobered up, he would keep the door shut tight to his writing studio. When he felt his writing was ready, he'd open the door only to his wife whom he donned his supreme editor. King has what he calls “closed-door writing” and “open-door writing”. Closed-door writing is the crap, the stuff that he doesn't want anyone to see. It's the muck that all professionals and top-performers still muddle through to create something of high value. It's what Anne Lamott would call the “shitty first draft” in her book on writing, Bird by Bird. (One of my personal favorite reads). To move beyond the first crappy draft, King finds the affirmation he needs from his wife. He describes in his book, On Writing, a scene where he gives his wife a manuscript on a road trip and she reads it in the passenger seat while he drives. He describes biting his nails in nervousness as he waits for her to laugh or gasp when he knows she's at certain parts. If she doesn't laugh, he questions whether or not it's actually funny or not. If she doesn't gasp at a horror scene, then he questions whether or not it's actually well-written. Perhaps you can relate? When are there moments your confidence depends on the approval of others? This is The Fulcrum of Affirmation. It's the place we reach when creating something new and look for affirmation. This affirmation brings us through the turning point on our hero's journey. But I'm reminded of what Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches us through his book, The Power of Intention. Dyer writes that it's incredibly important to find your affirmation from within. He says that living your life on purpose has everything to do with living out the best version of yourself, not following dogma or constantly caving to peer pressure. Living your life on purpose is the effect of tuning into who you really are. Dyer says that if you have a passion for something like fixing cars and have developed a talent for it and the community really needs a stellar auto mechanic, then yes, of course, being the best auto mechanic you can be is your tried and true purpose. But if you don't want to be an auto-mechanic or a doctor or a lawyer or (Fill in the Blank), then perhaps it's time to dig deeper to find your purpose. (pssst...it's okay to reinvent and redefine yourself at any time you'd like) Here are three tips to find the affirmation within to live your life on purpose. We are only a reflection of those we keep close to our heart. We're a social species. We thrive on relationships and seek connection with others on emotional, platonic, and physical planes. We learn best through what pedagogy wou ld call “Constructive Learning,” meaning we learn best through connecting with others. Before the days of smart-phones and industry, we sat around the campfire and told stories at night, sharing in that day's feast. But we've since lost this aspect of ourselves as storytelling animals and are inundated with messages from the media telling us what we should look like, act like, and model. We've moved from a campfire society to a billboard society. So how can we be picky with who we allow into our sphere of influence? The truth is…it's not so easy. Our parents, religious leaders, teachers, friends, community leaders, and others offer what they believe to be the best advice. And this advice comes from a source of love, but this energy can strongly influence the way we make decisions. People often ask me how I am such a positive person, an optimist they say. I tell them that I am only a reflection of those I keep close to my heart. Even when I'm making a decision on my own and not asking for anyone else's approval, the decision I make still stems from those I've allowed to help build my sphere of influence. The books I've read, the people I admire, the conversations I have with others, and the lessons I've learned from my sphere of influence all morph the decisions I make. For me, I try to surround myself with positive people because I know how easy it can be to be held down by fear and negative thinking. I'm picky about who I let into my sphere of influence. So, even  though you may not have complete control over your sphere of influence, who and what do you personally invite into yours? Meditation I forgot who it was who said it, but meditation allows us to experience what the other senses cannot. It helps us tap into our intuition. Meditation gives us control. It teaches us when to dance with our thoughts, when to sit still, and when to be an observer. It's ironic, isn't it? That the art of sitting still in meditation helps control our outward actions and reactions? Staying still helps to make more precise movement. Moreover, it's been said that meditation opens up the third eye which points inward and is said to help reflect the divine spiritual truths inside of us. When our third eyes are open and not blurry, it's easier to tap into the spiritual truths. It's easier to find the affirmation from within. Say No to FOMO and Ship So often I find myself caught in FOMO: the fear of missing out. If I don't do this, will I be missing out on an incredible experience? If I commit to this project, will I be missing out on another one? or If I don't commit to this project, will I be missing out on my big break? Especially when it comes to affirmation, we sometimes don't take action when we think that there's something bigger and better out there. We look for affirmation that we're on the right path. But fearing to miss out on something stops us from even experiencing what we have right here in front of us. Getting caught in the rabbit hole of FOMO is the rat race and stops us from shipping our best ideas. It's another name for the thing that many of us try to avoid getting caught in -- the daily grind. Whenever FOMO pops up ask yourself, Am I living in the present or caught in a hypothetical future? Am I creating or procrastinating? Many of us go to our graves with the best ideas still trapped inside of us. Use this imagery as the catalyst to help you commit to ship your idea and move forward. — What about you? Like always, I want to hear your thoughts. Just hit reply and say hello. I'll be sitting here finishing my coffee and reading before diving into experiencing the day.

I recently shared that a dream of mine came true. I became a monk….for a weekend. I joined a small group at a monastery in the mountains of New York and, nestled amongst the rolling snow-covered peaks, we shared mindful strategies to balance the desires in daily modern living. See, we're living in one of the most beautiful times in history. It's a time where since you can learn anything with the click of a button, you can truly be anything you want to be. It's a time of beautiful abundance, where, as more and more people rise above poverty, we can all have our basic needs met. When our basic needs are met, we can focus less on surviving and more on thriving. We can all activate our genius and live out the greatest version of ourselves. We can all live self-actualized. But in this world of abundance, it's also a time where we can go crazy buying so much stuff that we lose sight of our greater purpose in life. I've desired experiencing the life of a monk for a long time. On summer break in college, I once sat cross-legged by a tree in the woods for an hour outside my mother's suburban home. I had just read how Siddhartha sat by the trunk of a tree for forty days and so I wanted to see what that was like. I lasted an hour, not nearly the forty days as planned, but still learned quite a bit. This dot in my life continues to forge my present spiritual path. As I sat in stillness, I experienced what some may call oneness.I felt invisible in my connection to nature around me. Miraculously, a deer came within ten feet and ate the grass nearby as a fly paced back and forth on my arm. Outside, I remained still. Inside, my voice screamed with child-like excitement: “There's a deer just feet away from you and it doesn't even notice you! How beautiful is this!!!” I've had similar transcendental  meditative experiences like that throughout my life (ask me another time about the crabs on the lava rock in Hawaii) and each time I walk away desiring the life of a monk. Now, granted, these thoughts last for all of five minutes, but they are profound nonetheless. I dreamed of spending days on end tuning inward to my consciousness and tuning outward to nature at the same time, pondering the delicious gigantic existential questions that we all at some point in our lives try to answer. I never entered monkhood because a.) it felt too selfish to me to avoid my responsibilities b.) I've never been good at being told what to do and monasteries are surprisingly rigid and c.) I find meaning in life through experiencing the world's palate. I thirst for travel and hunger for human interaction and I enjoy sensual pleasures that heighten the human experience whether that's a hike through nature or the feel of drag racing a hot-rod. At the monastery, I pondered something that's been hard for me to figure out my entire life. I've always found it difficult to balance desire with non-attachment in a world where we have so much beauty to experience. Some say the only way to practice non-attachment is to own nothing at all, much like the nude Jains in India or the communal living of modern-day priests. No Objects Owned + Eating Simple Foods like Rice and Drinking Water = Bliss Via Non-Attachment Other schools of thought make it seem that the only way to practice non-attachment is to not let your possessions own you, as in it's okay to have possessions but don't let the possessions own you. Possessions + Mindful Ownership + Ability to Let Go of Attachments = Bliss Via Non-Attachment I subscribe to one or the other depending on what time of the day it is. I once lived off of macaroni and cheese for a whole year and now eat clean green organic foods and micro-roasted coffee. I'm attached to the organic foods I continue to desire and cannot fathom going back to gas station coffee. I once rented a fancy BMW when in San Francisco and drove to Big Sur with the sunroof open in awe of the majesty of Big Sur and the incredible cornering ability of the BMW. I continue to drive an old used Honda Civic because it does the job of a car without the weight of debt, but I'd be lying to you if I said I don't think of that BMW every so often. But now that admiration for the BMW has been replaced with a small obsession with Tesla, but I digress. I once spent years living out of tiny apartments or rooms the size of a closet. For many years, I could easily fit everything I owned into my car. Now, my two-bedroom apartment is full of my wife's gorgeous gemstones and we have the space to spread out. The only way I'm moving back to a smaller place is if it's on the shores of San Diego and the beach is my backyard. — As I continue throughout my day and go through my many things, I'll separate them into two corners. One corner will possess the few things I actually need to help me walk down my path on purpose. The other corner will house the many things that don't. But rest assured knowing that my coffee will be in the first corner. What about you? As you experience the beautiful majesty that is all around us, how do you balance what you desire with that which you need to walk down your path on purpose? Well, thank you so much for joining me here today and like always, I want to hear from you. Your stories are the fuel for my life's work. Send me your note at mark@yourlop.com.

On this episode, I'd like to talk about your purpose. Because really...your purpose is simple. It's to create something that you — and only you — can create. So, the next time you wonder if you're doing the right thing, just ask yourself this one simple question: What am I creating? Because you came into this world through creation, in the answer to that question lies your divine-inspired purpose. Your unique life. Your unique beauty. Your unique story. There's something only you can create. To help break this down a bit, here are three simple steps to answering that question. What inspires me right now? When you're living inspired, you are living “in spirit”. You are living in tune with what you came into this world with. Inspiration is the air that fills you like a hot-air balloon. It's a natural high that no drug could ever reach. It's the flow where your life's work pours out of you like water from a natural spring. What can I create with this inspiration? Out of what inspires you, what can you tangibly create this year…this day? If you're into setting SMART goals, go for it. SMART stands for goals which are specific, measurable, action-based (meaning you can start right now), realistic, and time-based (they have an end stop). They've worked well for me in the past and while I don't use them all the time, they are extremely useful, particulary if you have a history of not following through. Put it on your screen saver, write it on the ceiling above your bed, or set up calendar reminders to ping you every week to remind you. If SMART goals aren't for you (but something tells me you dig them), then try this. Just ask yourself every day, “What can I create today?” Consider setting up a daily meditation practice and saying this daily affirmation to yourself at the beginning and end of your meditation (or creating one of your own): “I am living inspired, listening to my spirit, and using my gifts to create.” Who am I serving? From billionaire to pauper, I've never met anyone whose source of encouragement comes from material objects. Lust for money, power, or fame can only get us so far. True motivation comes from recognizing who you are serving. Let's face it. We need encouragement to create. Creation takes a lot of long days and late nights. “Good Job” star stickers may have worked well as children, but they fall flat as adults. And that bonus you get after an annual review? That only works for a while. Deep and meaningful encouragement — the type of encouragement that pushes you to create something that matters — comes from a simple “Thank you.” Knowing that something you worked so hard to achieve in your life had a positive impact on another's life will take you further than any gold star or holiday bonus. And the funny thing? The more thanks you get for your work, the more people you've served in your life, the easier those gold stars and bonuses come your way. They just don't matter as much anymore. —— So, ask yourself this simple question: What am I creating? Answering that question will help steer you down your beautiful path on purpose. —— Religious ideology set aside, somehow we came into this world. Somehow we came into the being we now call the self. Somehow, we were created. Through nine months of magical creation and beyond, you grew into the beautiful creation of you. Asking ourselves, “What am I creating?” simply brings us back to day one.

On this episode, The other day my friend asked me to help her find zen and calm in her life. It was before 7am, I hadn't had my coffee, and I just come back from rushing around running errands. I was anything but calm.    “Who am I to offer such advice?” I quietly thought to myself. She went on to say that she has a lot going on, is mourning the loss of her parents, and could really use the advice. Wanting to help, I told her I'd be happy to offer some advice. Just let me have my coffee first. The truth is, I work really hard to find peace and calm in my life. I've rearranged my home decor, my schedule, my food intake, and my friend circle to adopt a calmer and happier lifestyle. I've found that happiness takes a concerted effort. It's anything but accidental. Three years ago I lost my zen happy-go-lucky nature  My wife and I had just spent the past year going from honeymooning in Hawaii to having a doctor tell my wife she'd have to “deal with being disabled” and “just live with Lyme Disease.” Mentally exhausted, frustrated, and angry at God, I found myself doing something I thought I'd never do. With a milky white pill in hand, I swallowed my doctor prescribed anti-depressant. Lexapro tasted stale and like chalk and left me feeling drugged throughout the day. I immediately hated myself for taking this pill. I threw out the pills and decided that I would try a holistic approach.I invested heavily into eating a diet that made me feel good and fueled my body with the proper micro and macro nutrients. I decided to deepen my yoga  practice and soon after built up my daily meditation practice. When I connect the dots looking backward, I can now see that I've been training for this type of challenge my whole life. As Patanjali reminds us, “At various points in our lives, or on a quest, and for reasons that often remain obscure, we are driven to make decisions which prove with hindsight to be loaded with meaning."   I've found a bit of zen and it's a beautiful feeling. But I'm nowhere near — I stress no where near — calm and zen all the time. Here are five tips to help you find zen and calm in your life on purpose. Keep It On The Positive It's only natural to focus on the negative. It's our natural instinct. We're attune to pay attention to stressors in our life and fire up the fight-or-flight survival mechanisms we have. As Kelly McGonigal, author of The Willpower Instinct and TED speaker, points out, “Though our survival system doesn't always work to our advantage, it is a mistake to think we should conquer the primitive self completely.” We have a choice whether or not to focus on the positive or dwell in the negative. As Wayne Dyer also suggests in his film, The Shift, making small choices each day to consciously focus on the positive will shift our habitual negative thinking into positive thinking. Connecting the dots in my life, I can see clearly now that this has been a central theme in my life. My adoption, my father's alcoholism, and helping to raise an older sister with a learning disability—- these situations only made me into a greater person because I was able to see the positive in each. Being adopted gave me that extra edge to feel special as a child and helped me learn self-reliance on a primal level. It also taught me that love and caring for others goes beyond blood relations. We're all connected. My father's alcoholism helped me see that people deserve a second chance. After over a decade of alcoholism, my father found AA and has been sober the past 15 years. His once cold heart is now plush like a teddy bear. I also learned that men of his generation had to deeply suppress their emotions and bottling up emotions only deepens the pit of despair. This understanding of cultural gender norms guides my writing on evolving masculinity along with shaping a men's retreat I'm putting together in 2016. Helping to be the big brother to my older sister taught me that we as a society love to place labels on people. And these labels do little to show the true beauty of the individual. My sister may have a learning disability, but she has taught me more about love and kindness than anyone in higher education. Food Zen As a personal trainer, I saw so many people struggle to get a fit body by throwing around weights in the gym, but then ignore what they ate only to be constantly disappointed with their body image. In triathlon, food is called The Fourth Discipline and those who master proper nutrition feel calmer, more align, and have more mental and physical stamina. They also tend to have an incredible physique. What do I eat? I've tried everything from paleo-eating to vegan and have found that there is no one size fits all for finding your proper diet. I tend to eat an anti-inflammatory diet full of fruits, veggies, grass-fed or organic meats, and coconut oil. Sleep Zen It's not as simple as getting eight hours a day. Many other factors influence our quality of sleep. I've found limiting my food intake an hour before bedtime is crucial to waking up refreshed. As much as I like eating a big meal then taking a snooze, I also feel like I need two more hours of sleep after my alarm goes off when I do that. Meditation There simply is no substitute for meditation and anyone from any religion could practice it. It's not just for yogis either. Meditation is simply calling attention to the self. It grounds a person and forces someone to look deep inside. Meditation helps you see the real you and offers such a beautiful glimpse of the soul. Meditation helps you gain or regain control of what drives you. It helps break bad habits and helps create good ones. When we sit in meditation, all kinds of thoughts and emotions rise to the consciousness. Sitting in stillness helps teach our brains that we have a choice to go for a ride with these thoughts and emotions or to let them pass. And for those who want that part of it, meditation also helps you grow a closer relationship with the divine. Self-Help Zen I find it really funny that we no longer have “self help” sections in the book store. They are now called “personal development” or something like that. As a kid I would go to Borders, order a latte with way too much sugar, and read through a large stack of books I picked up from self-help section. I saw self-help as a way to level up much like Mario would level up when he ate a mushroom or any other video game hero would level up after learning a new skill or reaching a new level. In essence, video games taught me that self-help is a good thing. And self-help is a good thing. We so easily get caught up in our own ego and don't want to appear to others that we need help. Instead, we bottle up our struggles and shoulder on. In my interviews, I've found that the most successful people are the ones who ask for the most help. They are open about their struggles and call on friends, family, therapists, community members, and anyone else who can help them get to where they want to go. Asking for help is anything but a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. — What about you? As you connect the dots looking backward, what events have shaped you to find zen in your life?  

On this episode, I'd like to talk about my greatest fear. I'm talking about FOMO. Also known as Fear of Missing Out. And FOMO, unfortunately, I find myself chasing it over and over and over again. Perhaps you can relate? The thing is: Sometimes not giving into FOMO allows you to focus on the things that matter most. It allows you to not be afraid that you're missing out on a great time with friends or something like that. —- I've been hearing a lot of people around me talk about FOMO. . As in my good friend Dan who wanted to join a small group with me last night for a full-moon festival that involved fire-dancing, a great DJ, and live visionary art paintings. The festival was like Burning Man meets Cirque Du Soleil. Like I promised Dan, the night turned out to be incredible fun, full of insight, great conversation, and connecting with inspiring people. But Dan couldn't go to the festival and choose to say no to FOMO and recognize the excitement in the path he's currently on. He found himself at the train station in Washington D.C. with a potential 6-hour train ride to come stay at my place. He had nothing packed: no change of clothes or anything. As he almost spontaneously boarded the train, he realized he was chasing FOMO. He was afraid that by not coming up to visit me, he would be missing out on an adventure and a memory that he could tuck away into his mental scrapbook. Even though I'm honored to be his friend, I'm glad he chose to stay home. So he let the train go by. He listened to the whistle blow and returned to his car to dive further into his firefighter training. He has a couple of weeks to prove himself to the fire department in D.C. that he is a high-quality hire and will add incredible value to the firefighting team. Dan is choosing to be the best version of himself and determined to be the best firefighter he can be. He's choosing to recognize FOMO which is something I, myself, am slowly getting better at. As Dr. Wayne Dyer would put it, Dan is living his life on purpose because he is diving headfirst into what he is passionate about and better serves humanity as a whole even when this dedication comes at the cost of missing out on other things like meeting up with friends. Dan saves lives. He spent the last decade serving the fire department in Memphis, Tennessee, and now rides the red firetruck through the crowded D.C. streets. His last 24-hour shift had twenty house fire calls! But even though he loves his job and finds a deep seed of purpose in his life's work, that doesn't mean FOMO doesn't creep up. Because when you live your life on purpose, you dive into excitement. You choose excitement. You recognize what makes your heart dance and aren't afraid to move your feet. As Anne Lamott once said, ‘Don't look at your feet as if you're doing it right, just dance.” Perhaps you can relate to Dan? I know there isn't a week (or day) that goes by where I don't stop and recognize FOMO. Right now,  I'm thinking about the yoga class that I'm missing or the book that's still unread on my bookshelf or the friendships that I haven't been able to nurture much over the past years or the cultures I have yet to travel to or the other many bucket list items I still have to explore. But I'm choosing to be here with you and that's more purposeful to me. I'm honored that you signed up for this newsletter and I'm determined to be the best version of myself for you. So, here's one tip that I've pulled from all of my interviews and research. Whenever you're faced with a fork in a road, be confident on the path that you currently walk on and recognize that FOMO is out of “ the deficit mindset” as my friend Jill calls it. The Deficit Mindset is feeling like missing out on an event will mean I am less of something by not going to something or experience something. The opposite is recognizing how fully alive you already are -- right here, right now -- and don't need the event that triggered FOMO to live your life on purpose. Sometimes not giving into FOMO allows you to focus on the things that matter most. Sometimes the path you are currently on (the project you are working on instead of spending time with friends, the work you are doing instead of building your hobby, the children you are raising instead of vagabonding around the world, and so on) is your hero's journey. It's a beautiful path that fulfills you without the need to chase FOMO. —- What about you? When have you chosen not to chase FOMO and chose a higher path on purpose?

On this episode, I'd like to introduce you to Leon and how one simple act of kindness can spawn a slew of others. ——————— When Leon decided to kill himself, he was literally at the end of his rope. But before he slipped away from us, he had one last thought: What if I did something so crazy, so ‘out there', and gave this life one more chance? With nothing to lose, Leon filled up his motorcycle's gas tank and set off from his L.A. flat east to New York. The clothes on his back, one tank of gas, a smile on his face: everything else he'd need would have to come through kindness. His goal? Ride across the world. No big deal, right? (face palm) In his book, The Kindness Diaries, Leon goes into detail just how he accomplished this quest. Inevitably, his story made him an international celebrity and his thought-experiment became the evidence that people around the globe needed to prove the world's benevolence. People all around the world offered him gas, food, clothes, entertainment, and a roof to sleep under. The only place he had to sleep on the street was in…New York City. Bummer. When Leon and I sat down for an interview, I was in awe of his story and his so very upbeat and optimistic character. This guy almost killed himself, I thought, and the world could have never benefited from his quest. That could have been a terrible shame and thankfully, Leon chose to live. And live he is. Leon's story teaches me that kindness breeds kindness. Around the same time that I interviewed Leon, I learned that two of my friends, Heather and Jessica, had lost their battle with cancer. Heather was like a sister to me in high school and Jessica and I were accountability partners to help the other transform education. The last time I saw Jessica, we both spoke at Apple on the art of transforming education. The last time I saw Heather, we reminisced about the time we made a wall of photos of all the many mullets we saw on our day-to-day. Like most people, I wondered what I could do to help. I also needed to respect the grieving process. So, I made the simple choice of donating my hair to help another warrior in need. And a couple years later, I finally was able to. I just got it cut yesterday and while I miss my manbun, I'm happy to know that my hair will go to someone in need. A warrior who is on such a beautiful hero's journey who will receive recognition that the world loves and cares for them. Like Leon's story teaches us, each of us play such an integral part in this world and we all have a choice to be a negative force or a positive one. When we choose to be a positive force, we elevate the world's collective conscious. Meaning, when we spread kindness, kindness exponentially grows and grows and grows. One smile sprouts another. Our attention then focuses on the positive in the world.   As you continue on your own hero's journey,  join me in trying this: Ask yourself this simple question just once today. How can I spread kindness? Pay someone's toll behind you. Pick up the tab for the person in back of you when in line. Perhaps consider donating your hair. Or, just smile, establish eye contact, and say hello to all that you meet today. We live in such a magnificent world and I thank you for creating it with me. Wishing you all a beautiful day, full of love, light, and adventure, And oh yeah… Reach out and tell me a story in your life where kindness bred kindness. As a thank you, I'll then randomly select one person and send them a Be Good To People t-shirt. Send me your note at mark@yourlop.com.

My coffee's cold and I have Yoda, Joseph Campbell, and a blissful meditation to blame. Instead of writing first thing in the morning like I usually do on the weekend, I read Pathways to Bliss from Campbell, played fetch with Yoda then stayed in meditation beyond the 20-minute timer. But alas, I really excited to share this episode today. On today's episode, let's dig into establishing credibility and defining our own ethos. There are 3 Ways to Create Your Own Ethos which I'd like to share with you. By the way, I tend to flip flop the two wrods, credibility and ethos because traditionally they were the same thing. Aristotle, when he wrote the rules on rhetoric, defined ethos as how to establish one's credibility. Now, ethos is also often used to define one's own personal beliefs.        Pursue Your Mastery A man in his thirties wanted to pursue a Ph.D — the cream of the academic crop. He talked himself out of it because it'd take about five years to achieve the Ph.D — and he'd be forty-nine years old or older after completion. When asked what age he'd be in five years without pursuing the degree, he realized he'd be the same age regardless. The only one holding him back was himself. If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that we can be anything we want to be, regardless of age. Just take a look at Edwin Dannen who at age 93, still pursues mastery on a daily basis. Lately, the Ph.D has been bashed because it no longer holds as much societal clout any more. Plenty of Ph.Ds file for unemployment. While often times academic goals do hinder our ability to create our life's work in the present, if a Ph.D is what you strive for, go for it, no matter your age. You define your own means to mastery. Your Rite of Passage (Own Your Ethos) It's amazing how the world's many cultures have defined the transition from childhood to adulthood. Whether it's a tribal celebration around a bonfire that culminates in a post-pubescent circumcision or donning a long black robe w/ cap and tassel to receive a slip of paper that says “You Are Now Credible”, each culture has attempt to clearly define the transition from childhood to adulthood. In Freudian logic, it's where we transition from looking to Mommy and Daddy for safety and become Mommy and Daddy ourselves. > In Western culture, academia plays a key role in our cultural rite of passage. You are an adult when you get your diploma. > But it's so easy to put off ownership. It's a lot easier to blame someone else for the mistakes we make. Instead, recognize your genius right now. Understand that you came into this world with a beautiful unique set of gifts that no diploma, mother, father, or ceremony could grant you. > Your rite of passage came with your first breath. And breathe deep my friends, because the air is as crisp as a fresh apple. Create Your Life's Work Now (Even If You Want a Ph.D) So often we hold ourselves back from putting our work out there in the present, mostly because of imminent failure (even in small doses). In school, students write essays and create projects that don't go further than the teacher's desk. The world outside academia rarely gets to see all the incredible work students create on a daily basis. So we wait until we don a cap and gown (w/ tassel) and receive a slip of paper that hopefully proves we won't make a fool of ourselves. But we will (even in small doses). And that's okay. Without getting too grim, we like to think that the sun will always rise tomorrow, but it doesn't have to. And that breath you just took? It's a beautiful gift. So create your work now. Not tomorrow. Not next year. Now. Just take a look at Bhavani Esapathi who recently won Wired's Creative Hack Award. Diagnosed with a severe chronic illness at a young age, Bhavani has gone on to create Chronically Driven — a collection of real stories from people around the globe who have persevered through chronic illness and created a better world. For  these people, illness has not doused their flame. It's set their life on fire. Remember that it's a beautiful  world we live in that needs you and each of us play an integral part in helping another.

Have you ever learned something that apparently the rest of the world knew, but you didn't? For me, that came in the form of a lotus flower yesterday. I've seen the flower all over. It's about as ubiquitous as the zen Enso symbol in the business of mindfulness. I just never knew its story. So when a new yoga instructor spoke about the lotus flower during class and an old friend shows up to a dinner party with a new lotus flower tattoo, I took this coincidence as an opportunity to learn more about the flower. What makes a lotus flower so unique is that it's a little beautiful bright flower that sits atop the water with roots that travel deep into the muddy muck far below. Its symbolism represents the beauty that can grow out of the muck in our lives. What can it teach us? It turns out, quite a bit. Two Simple Lessons from the Lotus Flower Out of the Muck, Create Something That Matters The muck in our lives can be life's greatest teacher. As Pema Chodron reminds us, “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy can be our teacher.” When you put a microscope to the muck in your life, what can it teach you? For Billy Starr, creator of the Pan-Mass Challenge charity bike ride which has raised over 500 million for cancer research, that muck came in the form of losing his mother to cancer. After losing his mother to melanoma at the young age of forty-nine, twenty-five-year-old Billy hit a new low. It became hard to focus on anything other than the memories of his mother. So he went for a bike ride. Then another. And another. Instead of ignoring the muck in his life, he dug in deep and grew roots. These roots blossomed into one of the most successful charity race-like events to date. Billy's story is not unique, however. A number of people I've interviewed have turned the muck of their lives into an opportunity to create something that matters. The formula? Multiply the muck times your unique talent and add in a big, hairy audacious dream that inspire you. The sum total will be far greater than anything you could have imagined before digging into the muck. Bring Your Muck Into Focus At the beginning of this new year, I sat down to write with the full intention to continue work on a book I've been putting off. What happened instead, however, grew into over 2,000 words that I splashed in my journal like Jackson Pollock threw paint on a canvas. My stream-of-consciousness led me to discover that I have a bit of a problem with perfectionism. But I learned that just writing can sometimes be the best self-help. As Julia Cameron put it in her book to help people discover their unique art, called aptly The Artist's Way, “Just as a good rain clears the air, a good writing day clears the psyche.” First, I wrote out all the things I really want to do in the near future, like getting my yoga certification. Then, I wrote out why I feel unable to do it. In the yoga example, I had a deep desire for quite some time to immerse myself in an ashram in India for a two month-long yoga certification. Since I couldn't do this without sacrificing a job I love along with being a caretaker for my loving wife, I put it off until the timing is right. All or nothing was my logic. And I've always been a “go big or go home” kind of guy. Perhaps it's the snowboarder machismo in me. Compromise has always been a dirty word — a bit like sipping tea when craving coffee. But this logic is perfectionism in a mask. And while perfectionism can be a beautiful trait, it can also lead to never getting anything done. So, I left it up to the power of intention. I literally wrote out that if a yoga certification class were to come to my attention that day in a timeline that allowed me to keep my greater responsibilities, I'd move to make it happen. It just so happened that an hour later I entered a new studio who just announced a yoga teacher training program that looked to fit in perfectly. And you all know the end of this story. I ended up focusing my efforts and joined   that yoga teacher training program and gladly walked away with my certificate to teach.   —- If you can't stand your job and feel drained at work, identify what it is exactly that drains you. Is it because you're not inspired or feel pulled down by negative coworkers? If you're feeling held back, what is it exactly that's holding you back? Is it feelings of self-doubt or a disempowering relationship? But instead of just thinking about it. Pull the tangled ball of thoughts into a straight line by grabbing a pen or opening up a word processor. Type. Write. Dig your hands in the muck. “Multiply the muck times your unique talent and add in a big, hairy audacious dream that inspires you. The sum total will be far greater than anything you could have imagined before.”

On this episode, I'd like to talk about keeping that New Year Resolution Feeling Alive. Every new year, millions of people around the world celebrate this new beginning.  Millions share new resolutions and goals knowing that they have 365 new chances to live out their greatest self. During the new year every year, our culture shifts the idea of a normal conversation. Instead of being asking, “What do you do?” at networking events or dinner, for instance, we're asked about our resolutions and the conversation focuses on the meaningful changes we all want to have in our lives. The collective positive energy around this time of year is palpable — like a race car driver waiting for the green flag to start. One foot on the brake, the other revving the supercharged engine. But for many, this feeling lasts only a few weeks at best. Like you also do, I create a list of yearly goals I intend to achieve that range from books I intend to read and experiences I intend to attract into my life. I fully intend to achieve these goals. But here's what I've learned. So often in my life I got way too attached to a goal and had a sort of tunnel vision. The destination, the goal, blinded me from the beauty of the journey. Being attached to the outcome of a goal, we  lose the beauty in each day.   So, how do we live our lives to the fullest, set goals, and soak up the marrow of life (As Thoreau would put it) without being too focused on an outcome? Practice and Non-Attachment Practice your intentions which could lead you to your yearly goals on a daily basis. If you intend to be more mindful, then set up a daily meditation practice, join a yoga studio, or find a new mindful mastermind group that builds you up to be a better person. If you intend to attract a positive cash flow in your life, then set up a daily practice towards building passive income, mastering a skill that would increase your hourly freelance cost, or delegate more tasks to automation or a team of assistants so you can focus on expanding your business. Dig deep into your practice. Work to achieve mastery. Just don't get too caught up in it. Practice non-attachment to your goal. If you have a goal to make “X” amount of money, try not to be so attached to that number that it causes you to act in a malevolent way towards another person and be less humble. If you have a goal to lose 25 pounds by summer, don't get down on yourself if you lose 20. Treat the means to the goal (each day) with just as much love and appreciation as the intended outcome. Goals can help us drive forward and live out the greatest version of ourselves only when we're not blinded by them. Perhaps attachment to resolutions and goals comes from a source of emptiness, as if we need a goal to feel a sense of being. This makes sense too, considering the overwhelming amount of messages that we get through media that tell us that our lives are not complete without a new gadget, a slimmer waistline, or more money. If we allow this type of messaging to control our feeling of well-being, we're attached to the outcome that a goal may bring and we've already lost the whole point of setting goals.The point of setting goals is to build us to be a better person so we can live out the greatest version of ourselves, or as Abraham Maslow would put it “living self-actualized.” Practice. Practice. Practice. Just be open to spontaneity. Aristotle reminds us that “We are what we repeatedly do.” If what we do every day is work so hard that we lose sight of the present, then we enter what Carl Jung called enantiodromia: a.k.a. a mid-life crisis. That's when one day, says Jung, after many years of working so hard that keeping busy becomes habit, we lift our heads up from work and wonder where the years have gone. As we continue throughout our lives, join me in remembering to look up every day. To see the art of the woodpecker as he meanders through the tree branches looking for that perfect spot to find breakfast. To witness that beautiful prism of color that fills the sky right before the sun rises above (or dips below) the horizon. To notice the way your partner looks at you with a smile when she thinks you don't notice. Yes, love, I see those looks you give me and I love em. — What about you? How do you enjoy both the journey and the destination of the goals we set in our lives?  Reach out and tell me by sending me an email at mark@yourlop.com

On this episode, I'm going to share with you two simple ways to find the story that drives your decision making. Most likely unconscious, we all have an internal narrative that either pushes us to grow or holds us back from reaching our unlimited potential. But before we talk about our internal narrative, let's talk about how stories drive our lives. ———- King Arthur, Twilight And Our Parents All Have This in Common We are a culture obsessed with myths, legends, and story tales. Just pick up any children's book today and they are full of the same stories we once listened to as children. And our parents listened to. And their parents. And so on. We've been telling stories for millennia. Which makes sense since the word “myth” derived from the Greek word “mythos” which translates literally as “story”. We've been telling stories all the way back to when my good friend Lucy roamed the African plain around 3 million years ago: the days where we hunted and gathered for food then sat around the campfire telling stories. From dragons to vampires, we continue to tell stories that take us into the strange world of The Unknown: a mystical world that both enchants us and terrifies us. And teaches us lessons to live by. While we may not be hanging around the campfire anymore, we still sit around light at night and listen to stories. They just flicker through a television or smartphone. We continue to be the storytelling animal. Beyond the fictional stories we share in our world, there are other stories that we live by and perhaps don't even know it. These are the myths that we tell ourselves. Our inner dialogue. Our inner voice. The story within which we write our lives. For example, Oh, I can't do that. I can't be a writer. I can't travel the world. I can't be a mother AND a CEO of a company. I can't take a gap year. There are stories that we live by that regulate our lives and perhaps stop us from living out the greatest version of ourselves. Thing is, once we realize what stories control our lives, this awareness lifts the myth into a fog that blows away with the slight breeze of your breath. Here Are Two Simple Steps to Find Your Myth Right-Brain Writing (10-20 minutes) Our left brain loves to get in the way of our thinking. The left brain loves to chime in and tell us that spelling words and putting proper punctuation are more important than expressing creative ideas trapped inside. So, put your left brain to rest and unleash your right brain. To do this, you just need to act fast. Set a timer for 10-20 minutes and open up a word processor or notebook. Personally, I have to type when I do this because I write a lot slower than I type and have found typing to be more conducive to this activity. At the top, write down this question: “What stories do I tell myself and where did they come from?” Then start writing. And keep writing. Do Not Let The Pen, Pencil, or Cursor stop from moving onward. You may write gibberish: non-sensical prose that should your mother have found it when you were a child she'd most certainly hire a therapist. That's okay. You need to flush out your thoughts. You may want to start off by defining what a myth is. You may write about your favorite stories. You may even write about the stories within a religion you believe. When you get stuck and are not sure what to write again, ask yourself “Why did I write that last sentence?” and answer that question. If that doesn't work, go back to the original question and start brand new. Talk about a new story. Just let go and keep writing. When we speed write, we allow our unconscious mind to speak through our words. Myth Meditation  (20 - 30 minute) There are many types of meditation. In Zazen Meditation, we think of nothing but “just breathing”. In a Loving Meditation, we breathe love into our hearts and breathe out fear, perhaps with an affirmation like “May all beings be free from suffering and find peace.” In Japa Meditation, we say a word for God or “Ah” while visualizing the life we wish to grow into. In what I'm calling here Myth Meditation, you sit and meditate on this one question: “What stories do I live by and where did they come from?” Find a quiet space and sit in a comfortable position with eyes closed, perhaps put your tongue gently to the roof of your mouth and ask yourself the question. Thoughts will begin to emerge — perhaps related or unrelated — and will take you on a journey. Every time you drift away, just ask yourself the question again. And again. And again. Perhaps you will just float there with the question for a while. Memories may surface of your childhood (like they did for me), some good and others not so much. Whatever comes to the surface, just let it be. Recognize it and then let it pass through. When your timer goes off, journal out your thoughts much like you would write out a dream. Find the common thread that ties your thoughts together. This is the story that drives your life narrative. —— What are some examples of stories that I have lived by? My self-worth depends on the approval of others I do not have enough time All my life, I've tried so hard to fit in. In high school, even though my friends tell me I was quite popular, I always felt estranged from the other groups. I floated between the many cliques in school and remained friendly with all, but never felt like I found my kin. Funny enough, I was voted “Best Figure” as a senior superlative when all I felt was skinny and flabby. I tried so hard to fit in, when all I needed to do was fit into my own mold of me. Lesson here: Instead of watering down yourself to appease others, follow what inspires you to live out the greatest version of yourself. If we came into this world already complete as Lao Tzu teaches us in the Tao Te Ching, then instead of trying to fit into another person's mold of what is right, try instead to fit into the mold of you. The Book of Matthew has a similar message in 10:49: “He that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” In other words, push aside the ego that tells you to fit into the mold others create for you and instead fit into the divinely created being that you already are.

I've just made a French press (a Costa Rican slow-dry of sorts for all of you coffee lovers) and am listening to the dance of a morning drizzle outside my office window. What a beautiful morning. I'm thinking a lot about inspiration. Join me for one simple thought this morning. On this episode, I'd like to talk about what it means to live inspired. "Let inspiration be your guide. When you're inspired, you're literally walking ‘in spirit'." —- Ask yourself this simple question... Are you inspired? It's an amazingly simple question that can help us steer down our paths on purpose. When we break apart the word “inspired”, we find it comes from two words "in" and “spirit". So, the word literally means "in spirit." In other words, when you are inspired by something, it means that you are living in line with your spirit, says Dr. Wayne Dyer. The idea goes that if you are inspired, you are walking your spirit's path, and that is when things just click. Work is easier. Coincidences happen that help you move further down the road. It's just that simple. What's interesting to me is that I've been asking this simple question to my students for the past ten years and I keep finding the same situation.  Teenagers have a heck a time figuring out what inspires them. But I don't think teenagers are alone because when I open this question up to other people — many in their forties and fifties — there's still tremendous confusion. The philosopher Krishnamurti would suggest that it only makes sense why many people have trouble identifying what inspires them simply because we have grown up in a culture that seldom focuses on inspiration. Instead, we focus, says Krishnamurti, on taking a safe route of job security and live under the fear of failure. Instead of walking down a path of inspiration, we follow cultural dogma that keeps people in check and idolizes the shiny “next big thing” over following inspiration. We're under the illusion that walking down The Path of Inspiration is the riskier path. Risky because no one has walked it yet. Risky because of the unknown. But here's the thing, says Dr. Wayne Dyer, The Path of Inspiration ( walking “in spirit” ) is the safest path of all. Because when you follow your bliss and walk comfortably down a beautiful (albeit perhaps scary) untrodden path, God (and the universal powers that be) are on your side. What am I currently inspired about? This past week, I was featured on a new large media platform, The Good Men Project. On there, I wrote a piece that dives deep into a very personal story and what I'm learning about being a great husband. I share what's been going on behind the scenes in my life over the past four years as my wife and I grow through her healing from Lyme Disease.  Just Google “Mark Guay (space) The Good Men Project” if you'd like to read the article. Just keep some tissues nearby. The article has already gotten over 1,000 shares and I've received emails from people I've touched with my story — one of which is a highly successful naturopathic doctor in the Seattle, Washington area. At the same time as this article reaches virility on a major platform that focuses on living authentically, an idea my friend Cov and I have been throwing around for a few weeks just seems to be clicking so smoothly. We're looking at creating one-day design thinking workshops to help inspire people to have more creative confidence. The design challenge? How can we better solve the major problems facing our global and local community?” Time will tell where this goes, but as I gain more creative confidence in myself to live more inspired, I'm learning so much about what it means to truly, deeply, live. It's a beautiful time to be a live. A beautiful time to dance our own dance and sing our own song. Like I've said many times before, it's a new rennaisance that we live in today and each of us need to play our part. And our part is embedded in living inspired. I'm walking inspired and I invite you to join with me.

I just poured a piping hot cup of holy basil tea and am about to make some serious superfood pancakes as I wait for the sun to peak over Mt. Beacon (coffee will come later ;) Before all that, I'd like to share with you some thoughts on building up an accountability system that keeps the creative engine churning. And churning. And churning. Because let's face it: The truth is real extraordinary work requires a team. Yes, you are strong on your own. But you are much stronger when you surround yourself with people who build you up. ---- Allow me to take you back to an event in my life that changed my life. My feet felt like slabs of concrete and as my body shivered, the thought of a hot shower and a bed to collapse into taunted me like the sirens in Greek maritime lore. As I passed the mile 20 marker, a bed of green grass poked through the Philadelphia snow and I thought how convenient that it was just the perfect size for my 6'2” frame to lay down for a nap. I could lay down right and drift off. I could end the pain, I thought. I looked over to my left and nodded to Rich, the guy I've been training with for months to get us ready for the Philadelphia Marathon. I puffed up my chest and forced a smile and as he continued to run I did too, shadowing his movements pretending like I wasn't struggling. Inwardly, however, I wanted to quit. It was November. It was freezing cold. I was tired. Step by step -- like a pendulum -- I bounced on and turned inward for empowerment, repeating my positive mantra meditation, and in what now seems like just a few minutes later, Rich and I celebrated our victory with a warm pretzel, chicken broth, and, in the kind of celebration that screams irony at an event that celebrates fitness, we drank beer. Delicious, sugary, glutenous, chest bumping beer. My drive to finish the race propelled me forward. But sometimes I struggle to regain this level of motivation. -- The other day as I sat down to write, for instance, I stared at a blank screen: the cursor taunting me like Medusa's eyes. Frozen in stone, my fingers just hovered over the keyboard. Eventually, I closed up my laptop and said to myself that tomorrow is a new day. A few hours later, one of those tiny miracles happened. There, at the top of my email inbox rested a beautiful message from one of you. As I read through the email, I felt like on cloud nine. The message said my podcast and positivity had helped them greatly through a very difficult time. “My podcasting!? You mean someone actually listens to my stuff” I thought as the internal voice of criticism shot up like a firework on Independence Day. Motivated once again, I reopened my laptop and words poured out of me like a spring of water.   This wasn't the first time a tiny miracle motivated me to push through a creative block. It seems that every time I personally struggle to create something myself, something comes my way that says "HELLO....DUDE...YOU NEED TO CREATE MORE OF THIS AND THAT… YOUR WORK IS IMPORTANT"   That email brought me to tears and reminded me of an email from five years ago when a former student had explained that my positivity as her teacher had kept her on the positive when secretly at home she had considered suicide. When I struggle to create something, I want to learn how to grow through it and that becomes the seed which blossoms into my creation. But I've learned that's not enough to be consistent.   To continue to create consistently, I pull from multiple strings of accountability: five of which I'd like to share with you today. You may have some of these strings, but if you don't, I urge you to try them out. Five Accountability Strings to Pull You Up When You're Down Motivation From The Inside Some days (not that many to be completely honest) I just feel super inspired and get out of bed, ready to rock and roll and create something. Other days, I force myself to sit in meditation and after twenty minutes of mindful meditation followed by repeating positive affirmations, I feel inspired to create. Motivation From The Outside Some days, I will read an email like the one I shared above that will motivate me. Other days, I know my wife, Kaitlyn, and I will be having dinner where we'll share our stories of what we created that day. I want to show up for that conversation with something, mainly because she always shows up and I'm always inspired by her creative genius. Other days, I will need my accountability partners. Each week I talk to two accountability partners who ask me what I created that week and what I plan on creating the next. Knowing that these two people are counting on me help turn on the creator inside. My friend Chris Spurvey and I chat every Wednesday for a quick 30 minutes. Chris is a highly successful vice president for a big wig bank in Canada. He is the one who helps me realize that “selling” is not a dirty word and that when what you sell comes from your heart, it's sharing. And sharing your art with others may just be the divine purpose we're all here to fulfill. My friend Covington Doan and I chat every Thursday. Cov is a design-thinking website development wiz in Texas who also owns a fantastic coffee shop called Stupid Good Coffee in Dallas. We met at Stanford d.school a few years ago and have each helped the other to follow through on turning ideas into creation. Progress is Better Than Perfect (Just Ship It) I have always believed that done is better than perfect. Otherwise, the perfectionist will always tell me it's not good enough to share. The fight-or-flight part of the brain will creep in and tell me my work is crap and no one wants to read it. But if I never took a first step I never would have ran a marathon. The Perks of Being a Student   When I'm learning something that inspires me, I churn the creative engine faster. For instance, when I went through my yoga teacher training I was once again humbled and excited to create. Humbled because I realize how much I needed to learn and excited because there was so much to learn. When we're learning, we're growing, and when we're growing we push through to create something newly remarkable. Just make sure to choose the right teacher that motivates you. My yoga teacher trainers, Richard and Liz, are extremely dedicated to their craft and every week they come to the studio excited to share something they are personally working to improve along with a lesson they've learned through their years of experience. Their expertise weaved together with their own humble trials help motivate me. Build Yourself Up With Empowering People I once hired a high-profile ( i.e. ridiculously super expensive) book editor who was really helpful…at making me feel like a terrible writer. Yes, we all need to be open to criticism (I certainly learned that through my brief stint as an actor). It takes many critical eyes to create something of perfection, but it equally requires a lot of people to help cheer you on. Like the marathon, for instance, just imagine how many people would never ever finish the marathon if there wasn't a giant crowd cheering them on as they ran. I can tell you from personal experience, endurance racing is a heck of a lot harder when there isn't a giant crowd cheering to propel you forward. Build a crowd of encouragement through the friends that you choose, the accountability partners you pick, and the places you choose to spend your time. — Sometimes, however, all it takes to push through a creative barrier is a bit of trust in yourself knowing that whatever your marathon is, it all begins with one step. As Van Gogh put it, "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”

Just ask my wife, I'm the worst person to watch a movie with. Why? Because I ask question after question after question. Why did the director choose to cut that scene short? What makes what he just said ironic? What are we being taught to believe here? I confess. I'm a serial deconstructor (holds hands out to be cuffed). But this is what I'm trained to do after all. I'm trained to deconstruct stories. I'm trained to see what stories teach us. And I'm trained to show you what I see. And stories, my friends, teach us way more than we may think. From our ancient days of community campfires to the bedtime stories of our youth to the television flickering in front of millions every day, stories continue to shape how we define normal. Stories continue to teach us what we can and cannot do and what we should and should not do. Stories define status quo. So, why am I telling you this? Because sometimes the stories that we listen to hold us back from activating the greatest version of ourselves. For example, there's a story I'm sure you've heard of before that involves a guy named Icarus and wax wings. Do you know it? Perhaps you do, but very likely you only know half of the story because only half of the story continues to be passed down. The story goes that a father and son are trapped in a prison in a tower and the father creates wings for both of them to fly away. Wax binds the winds to their backs so they can coast out of the window and fly free. The son, Icarus, is told that he shouldn't fly too close to the sun for the sun would melt the wax and he'd fall into the ocean, drown, and die. Bummer. So what does the kid do? Pretty much what any kid with too much energy would do. He has all sorts of fun: twisting, performing aerial acrobatics, feeling the true extent of his freedom. But whoops, he gets a little too carried away and flies too close to the sun and bam, the wax melts off his back and the teen falls to his grim demise to drown in the ocean. The lesson: Hubris, overbearing pride, leads to arrogance and arrogance leads to a mighty fall. Don't push yourself too high to the sun lest you melt your own wings. Pretty good advice, right? It's definitely a story I'll share with my children. But that's only half the story. In The Icarus Deception, Seth Godin points out that our culture continues to only share half of the story and only half of the lesson is learned. We learn not to become pompous and arrogant in our ways, but because it's not countered with the lesson in the other half of the story, this dampens our sense of what we can do in our lives. This story holds us back from actually achieving remarkable things, what Godin refers to as our art to offer the world. What's the rest of the story? Icarus was also told not to fly too close to the ocean for the waves would lap up, harden the wax on his wings, and he'd fall to the ocean unable to fly away and would drown. The lesson: Don't think too low of yourself. Don't set your bar so low that you suffer the same exact demise as flying too high. Since reading Godin's book, I've spent the past few years asking my students the story of Icarus in hopes that students would eventually begin telling the whole story and feel comfortable once again with flying closer to the sun. But alas, that hasn't happened…yet. One day I know it will, but for now, my students continue to only share half the story. And I continue to see my students afraid to really push themselves out of fear that they will fail. And yes, failure sucks. Flying too close to the sun (failing) sucks. But flying too close to the ocean sucks just the same. We're just not sharing this message enough. I honestly believe that we (yes, you) are capable of far more than we're taught to believe. In school, perhaps we should be pushing our students to fail more because what better safe space to fail do we have? In the world of high-stakes testing and a tracking system that sets some students on a rigid path to Ivy League beginning as young as kindergarten, our students are taught not to fail. But what if failing sometimes signifies that you're pushing yourself to the limit? That you're growing your edge? So that tomorrow when you go to the edge, you can walk out a little bit farther. It's like this: When your edge grows and my edge grows, we all walk out a whole lot farther. Just imagine the beautiful view from there. It's stunning, right? Here's to you growing your edge with me.

On this episode, I'd like to talk about playing it safe. As a teacher, I hear this all the time: -- I'm going to go to college to get the four year degree -- I'm going to get my dream job -- I will be happy But, I have to admit, while college was so important for my own personal growth, I'm not really sure if a four-year degree is worth it for everybody. Well, at least it's not worth it anymore to take the safe route. Why? Well, because quite honestly, I've met many former students who went to college for what their parents wanted them to do instead of what they wanted to do and a few years after college, I often hear them talk of enrolling once again in college to get the degree they actually wanted. Take Brian for example. The last time I saw Brian, he had just gotten his prom photo taken and ran a 5-minute mile on the school track team. But now, as I looked in front of me stood a grown man with a beard donning a set of nurse scrubs. “Mr. Guay…is that you?” he said as I carefully adjusted my paper-thin gown that doctors give patients before a physical exam. “Why yes it is.” I replied with a sheepish grin feeling a bit like a celebrity on one hand and on the other hand making sure my gown covered my buttocks. “How have you been Brian? You still running these days?” I said. He shot back a look of surprise. “You remember me?” he said. “Of course” I replied. We talked for a few minutes and in that short span of time as Brian took my height and weight before the doctor arrived, he had said what I cringe to hear. “I'm currently working as a nurse, but thinking of going back to school for business so I can open up a food truck.” Brian explained to me that he originally went to school for nursing because his parents had said it was the smart thing to do. But he's bored — really bored — and he feels the calling to follow his inspiration and open up a food truck. Brian is not alone and unfortunately, I hear this quite a bit. Like Brian, many people leave high school to begin a career or get a degree in something that is safe. I don't blame them at all. Growing up in a blue-collar family, I know the feeling of depending on the next paycheck. It's a terrible feeling. So I get safe. But playing it safe rarely works out. So, what holds people back from following their bliss and living inspired? A bit of ancient wisdom may have the answer. The Four Branches That Hold Us Back We are a deeply rooted species that is resistant to change say Chip and Dan Heath, two sociologists at Stanford who have devoted their lives to helping make large-scale societal shifts a real thing. Their book Switch changed my life and got me to better understand how to make real large-scale change on the systematic level. The Heath brothers explain that over time and through generations, we have come to define (and very slowly redefine) the idea of “normal” or “common sense”. This clouds our perception as we go through life and steers us away from any path that isn't considered safe. In yoga, we call this Avidya which translates as the film that covers our ability to see clearly. To see clearly, we need to let go of the following: Attachment Attachment is the tug-o-war between owning things and having them own you. It's what makes some people need a Rolex to feel successful and others (like some Jains in India) to literally have (or wear) nothing at all to feel content. It's getting upset when you can't find that favorite pair of yoga pants and getting upset when someone offers unsolicited criticism. It's that feeling of disappointment when a dream you held on to for so long is holding you back from living the life that is waiting for you. Join me in trying this: In meditation or perhaps when you have only a few seconds in the subway commute and are feeling upset, repeat the mantra “Let Go”. On a deep inhale say to yourself “Let” and on the exhale say “Go”. Ego Like you can't see the current when in the river, but can easily see the swift moving water when sitting on the shore, ego is there with us as we swim through life. Ego is the wall we put up to separate ourselves from another. It's the identity crisis that follows losing a job and the reason we stand in line for hour on Black Friday to get the shiny new object for a price we can actually afford. It's the fancy letters we put before our names to represent a degree and the selfie I took at the gym yesterday. But it's also feeling guilty when you do have the shiny new objects, the fancy letters, or the bulging biceps. Join me in trying this: When I feel emotions getting the best of me, I turn inward to my breath and through meditation begin to see ego hiding behind my emotions. When I call out ego, the curtain gets pushed aside and it no longer controls me. The next time you find emotions getting the best of you, ask yourself “Is this my ego talking?” Fear Fear is doubting our ability to slay the Arthurian dragon that hides the gold. It's not taking that first step because you don't feel ready to run a marathon or not joining a yoga studio because you don't look like a Lululemon model. It's bundling up our kids so much they look like a fluffy marshmallow when they board the morning school bus. It's the voice inside our heads that like to say “you can't do that” and it's the reason we idolize celebrities as if they were any different than us. Join me in trying this: Often times, we fear most what we can't control. So, find something you do have control over that you're scared of and do something about it. For me, I'm terrified of heights and I can control whether or not I go rock climbing in a safe indoor facility. And boy, you should see me. I shake and quiver as I climb up those rocks and probably look ridiculous. But I'm pushing through fear. Rejection Rejection is falling off the proverbial horse and not getting back up on it to try again. It's getting bullied on the playground and taking a new route home to avoid the bullies. It's appearing on Shark Tank in hopes to land that needed seed funding only to be laughed off the stage with no money in the bank, then never starting up a business again. Simply put, it's settling for anything less than the greatest version of yourself. Join me in trying this: Whenever you feel scared to try again, read the biographies of the people you wish to emulate. Like Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, and Thomas Edison, living out the greatest version of oneself always has a not-so-beautiful trail of failures that lead to that one ten-year-overnight success. So be patient, trust in yourself, and go after whatever it is that is in your heart of hearts.

On this episode, I'd like to share a bit of what we can learn from coincidences. After you get home from your run, get to work, or just have a minute to send a message, send me a message with a story of how a coincidence shaped your life. If you have one that is. Because coincidences...well, they are a seriously interesting dot that happens in life. My mother and Paulo Coelho would agree: there are no such thing as coincidences. In fact, Coelho, author of The Alchemist, goes further to say that “coincidence is the language of the stars” and that “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.” Let me share a quick story. A few days ago, I sat there listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer's memoir on audiobook. Read by Dyer himself, he shares the personal stories that have evolved him as a being. A few particular poignant moments were the times at which Dyer stood up against injustice: once as a 3rd grader and another time as a U.S. Navy soldier. It got me thinking about how I sized up to Dyer's noble record. I thought about times in my life where I was more of a wallflower than an activist, like the time where a racial slur was said at the dinner table and I didn't call out a man's ignorance because I didn't want to upset the dinner host. A bit hard on myself, I got in the car to pick up lunch. There, at the deli, I "coincidentally" bumped into a former student of mine. He approached me at the deli and said, “Hey Mr. Guay, can I ask you a question…” to which I replied “Of course, but call me ‘Mark'." He told me about a new college class of his. There's a classmate whose gender is ambiguous and his professor apparently makes jokes about whether to call the classmate “he” or “she”. My former student sits in class steaming with anger, unsure of what to do. So he asked me. “What would you do in this situation Mr. G…I mean Mark?” he said. And I laughed. I thought about how just thirty minutes earlier I was thinking about similar times in my life where I had a similar crossroad. I talked him through a few hypotheticals and offered what I thought to be good advice for him to make up his own mind about what to do. He thanked me and walked away and told me he'd keep me posted about the outcome. —- I have no doubt that this "coincidence" was meant for a reason. I do not know the reason nor may I ever, but that doesn't shake my confidence in the causality of this meeting. There have been many what appeared to be random coincidences that led to beautiful miracles in my life: * Making a last minute random decision to enroll in a BFA Acting program and philosophy class, both of which led me sitting next to my now wife, Kaitlyn. * Feeling extremely burnt out from teaching and thinking of quitting then getting a letter from a former student telling me how my positive outlook on life stopped her from putting a knife to her wrist. * Reading Jean Kilbourne's research on gender identities in college, interviewing her ten years later as a journalist, and then randomly introducing Jean to someone I just met which led to her being a guest of honor at Omega Institute. And of course there are many yet "coincidences" in life that have yet to appear less than coincidental. But that's okay. I don't need to know the ripple effect of all of these events. Because that's not the point. — What about you? When have there been moments in your life where what seemed to be coincidences turned into beautiful miracles?

Today I'm drinking something unusual which I thought you'd like to know about. It's a type of mushroom called Chaga. Have you heard of it? Some people at the coffee shop down the street were raving about it, so I decided to give it a try. . Yes, it tastes mushroomy. Yes, it's totally legal. No, it's not psychedelic. Why am I drinking it? Because I'm intrigued by the many health benefits it supposedly offers. I'll keep you posted on whether or not I grow the ability to shoot fireballs out of my hands, run really fast, or grow taller, but for now I'd like to introduce to you my friend Michael Grimes. On this episode, let's take a look at how one guy is following his SOUL and reinventing a brand new public school system that centers on mindfulness. —— When news of Hurricane Katrina's destruction spread throughout the U.S., Michael knew what he had to do. So, he packed up his belongings and drove to New Orleans to build up a school system in need. Thousands of displaced students needed quality education and Michael heard his calling to help. He heard The Call to Purpose. In just ten months time, Michael developed the curriculum needed for three pop-up charter schools and brought much-needed structure to an area flipped upside by Mother Nature. Was it easy? No. Was it safe? Definitely not. But Michael knew deep down that this was just something he had to do. Transforming the lives of students through education reform is in his DNA. Why? Because before all of this, a dot occurred in Michael's life that many, myself included, can't even begin to emotionally understand. Michael lost his younger brother to suicide. This unimaginable tragedy could have easily caused Michael to grow deep into depression, which he admits he, understandably, did struggle with at a time, but Michael found the power within him to continue to walk forward down his path. The world needs a better education system, Michael thought, one that doesn't just teach to the intellectual needs of students and he was going to help build it. As he put it, he felt a calling to help students “understand who they are, to connect with their passions and purpose, or to develop the social, emotional, physical, or spiritual aspects of their beings.” Katrina, his brother's suicide, a passion for education reform — these dots in Michael's life connected him to his deep seed of purpose. They further led him to create the truly audacious goal of a new public charter school system that is designed for the entire individual. Called SOUL — School of Universal Learning — Michael and his team have created a system that teaches “to all parts of the being, mentally, socially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.” The first SOUL school is scheduled to begin in 2017 in Southern California. So, what can we learn from Michael's journey? Turning Muck Into Opportunity Like the lotus flower that grows out of the muddy muck in a swamp to blossom into a beautiful flower that rests gently atop the water, we all have our own share of personal tragedies we encounter throughout our lives. Sometimes it's these bits of tragedy that direct or re-direct us further down our paths on purpose. Losing a loved one, facing a chronic illness, or perhaps getting let go from a stable “safe” job — these events reshape our lives. They can build us up or break us down depending on what we choose to focus our mind on. We may not be in control of the events themselves, but we do have control over our reaction to them. As John Milton wrote in Paradise Lost: “The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” Here's a bit of what Michael had to say about how he stays focus: Believe in Inspiration Like many others who have followed similar audacious footsteps, Michael trusts in his intuition knowing that when he is living inspired, he is living “in spirit” and that, as Wayne Dyer often suggested, is the compass to guide our spiritual calling. Here's a bit of what Michael said when I asked him how he learned to tune into his intuition. Grow an Empowering Community When I first met Michael in person, he invited me to one of his monthly potluck dinners where he invites friends to bring guests for an evening of food, music, and deep conversation. It's events like these that attract the mentors we need in our lives to help us on our own path. As Joseph Campbell reminds us, the hero's journey may be a personal journey inside, but it's not taken alone. Mentors and guides will join us on our journey and we need to decide whether or not we're going to accept their help. The question here is then, are you open to receiving help? I know for me, this has been a struggle in the past. Growing up as an adopted child, I thought what most adopted children do: that I didn't need any help and could thrive on my own. I've since learned that independence is great, yes, but we are stronger together. Together, we can lift all of us a little bit higher.

On today's episode, I'd like to share with you one lesson I learned while living like a monk. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before on this show, but this last winter I spent a few days at Zen Mountain Monastery in the Catskill mountains living like a monk. During that stay, time slowed down to a caterpillar crawl and days felt like years. In a good way. Why? Because with the monk life, every second seems to be accounted for and everything seems to focus on the present, working to pull in the tangled ball of yarn that makes up our thoughts. Who knew non-thinking could cause time to slow down? I will be short and to the point like the espresso I'm sipping. On this episode, let's cxplore a bit of zen philosophy to be more present in the moment. We start with a glass of ice cubes. ——- Imagine you're on a plane and you ask a stewardess for a glass of water. A minute later she comes back with a cup of ice and hands it to you. You have had quite a long day, are tired, and just want some water to cool you down.  Frustrated with the ice cubes, you ask the stewardess:“What am I supposed to do with this!?” The stewardess replies, “Just wait.” —   Okay…. So, what does all this Yoda talk mean? What's the point of this story, which I first heard from a zen monk. When we let the mind go on its own, we can easily go throughout an entire day thinking about the future and reflecting on the past all while ignoring the beauty in the present. So often, we can get carried away in the day-to-day that we lose sight of the now. When we want a glass of water and get ice cubes, the idea of waiting for that ice to melt into water can drive us mad. So we move on looking for water when water was right in front of us the whole time. Consider watching some ice cubes melt into a glass of water. Many people, including myself, would go mad watching the small drips that melt into liquid. I have so much to do…I can't wait for THIS… Unhappy with the ice cubes, we go off looking for water in other places and forget that we had what we asked for all along. We just needed to let go. Zen philosophy calls this mindset “Muddy Water”. Like the ice cubes, our mind can be hardened to think a certain way so that we are full to the brim with muddy water or hardened like an ice cube. Our mind thrashes in the water, stirring up the mud from below, when all we need to do to reach clarity is let the mud settle to the bottom. Or let the ice cubes melt into amorphous water. When our mind is like water we are more open to go with the flow and make decisions with a clear open mind. If we learn to let go of the ice cubes, we'll always have as much water as we need. Remember, everything you need in this life is either with you now or well on its way. Thank you so much for listening. I wish you a beautiful day, full of love, light, and adventure.

As a kid, I was obsessed with Monty Python's The Holy Grail. So much so that the obsession grew from clanking together coconuts as a teenager with my buddy Alan to studying Arthurian legend in my college studies. Even my professor thought I was a bit ridiculous. “You're that kid in high school who would clank coconuts together, right?” she once asked.  And she was right. On a random cycling trip to Barcelona, I discovered that one of our routes outside Barcelona took us through the mountains where the grail is now thought to be buried. Did I look for The Holy Grail then? You betcha. And I seriously thought I found it when I came upon a tiny little 10th century chapel in the Pyrenees. But Alas, there was no grail to be found. I am one of many intrigued by the grail, however. The Holy Grail has been an obsession for questers throughout all of history. The Knights Templar searched high and low for The Holy Grail during The Crusades and Cistercian Monks rifled through ancient texts to search for clues, as well.   Heck, one man — the 12th Century French poet Chretien De Troyes — ended his story of The Holy Grail mid-sentence (yes, really) while writing the Arthurian legend of Perceval, the legendary knight who saw The Holy Grail while dining with The Fisher King. Legend has it, Chretien De Troyes died while writing because he was about to share a secret too powerful to share with the world. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. What is “The Holy Grail”? Most literalists say a cup — the cup used by Jesus Christ at The Last Supper — while others say a well like the fountain of youth. Unfortunately, no cup (or well or fountain) has ever been found. The evil Heinrich Himmler, Hitler's right-hand henchman, thought he came close to finding it after funneling an absurd amount of Nazi money to search the grail during World War II. Yes, this is a true fact. No, no grail was ever found. Even Indiana Jones, whose story came out of these real-world events, never resurrected the miraculous cup. So, I pose the question: What if they are all wrong? What if The Holy Grail is not some chalice or well or any destination, but rather metaphor for our own internal quest for meaning? The quest that begins with the sublime question we begin asking at some point in our lives….Why am I here? ….and then spawns a miraculous journey on purpose. To begin, splash a bit of honesty on your face and mix it with the dots in your life. But don't take it from me. Take a look at the journey of just a few of the incredible people I've had the honor to meet over the past couple of years:   On the other side of the pond in the UK, Bhavani Esapathi created The Invisible Health Data Project. The project amplifies the many voices that make up the invisible chronic illnesses thousands suffer with each and every day. There are so many illnesses that go unnoticed in the world today and Bhavani helps make sure these people get their voice out to receive the attention they deserve. NYC native Gabriela Pereira is the instigator and purveyor of purpose behind the DIY MFA. When the rest of the world obsesses over science and tech, Gabriela shows creative writers how they can turn their art into a profitable and philanthropic tool to elevate all of humanity. Physical therapist turned entrepreneur, when Ashley Jacob learned of her mother's diagnosis, she took her pain and anguish and turned it into her quest to find answers. Her questions morphed into the beautiful long-form podcast, Tsuris, which features interviews from the many vantage points that make up a serious health prognosis. And lastly, after high school, a starry eyed teen named Tyson Adams went out to vagabond around the world. Little did he know that his travel would lead to a cathartic and philanthropic journey. His work now creates schools and wells in Laos for children in need through selling coffee and coconut oil to adults in need. _______________________________ The Holy Grail, I believe, is not a cup or chalice at all. Rather, it is one's personal soul-shaping quest that goes beyond the self and transcends to benefit others. It's truly a beautiful journey, a hero's journey, that I invite you to join me on. What about you? What is your “Holy Grail”?

I write this episode as the rain pelts the airport tarmac outside as I sit here ready to board my plane home from a weekend trip in Charlotte. Before I do that, I'd like to share a few thoughts on being authentic in our speech and living the art of truthfulness. Grab your cup of coffee and join me. And oh yeah….quick note… be careful with flying with a hand coffee grinder. You should have seen the look on the TSA employee's face when, after checking my bag, she pulls out the grinder with a quizzical look, opens it, and then smelled the delicious fresh coffee beans inside. I offered to make her a cup, but alas...she had work to do. But, I digress... -------------------- Have you ever found yourself biting your lip, holding back what you really wanted to say, but held back for one reason or another? Telling the truth and being honest in our communication can be as difficult as holding sand in our hands. Squeeze the hand too hard and it hurts. Too light and sand falls swiftly through the fingers. Like riding a rollercoaster, we're often raised to keep the limbs of truth inside the ride of life at all times to keep safe from offending family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. What are a few examples of when I've held back from speaking what I've honestly thought? --- When a family member continues to eat foods that harm her even after being diagnosed with diabetes brought on from obesity and eating too much of these foods --- When a coworker talks badly about another at the proverbial water cooler --- When a loved one says a prejudicial slur at the holiday dinner table And these are just a few times at which I've bitten my lip. The practice of telling the truth is something that I continue to work on because so many ancient texts encourage us to speak the truth -- both to ourselves and to others -- throughout our lives. The yogic texts call this practice of truthfulness, Satya. As Patanjali put it, “To one established in truthfulness, actions and their results will be become subservient.” In the Abrahamic texts, Jesus of Nazareth said we should speak and live truthfully. In the Book of Ephesians, he is said to say, “each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” Popular culture also teaches us this as well between the lines of a movie or book, even back to good ol' Will Shakespeare. Polonius tells his son Laertes in the play Hamlet before he goes off to college: “Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportion'd thought his act.” Of course, for anyone who knows the play well, Polonius needs to listen to a bit of his own advice. So, how do we speak the truth, live honestly, and be authentic without being ostracized by those we love? (I have no desire to don a robe and live in a cave in the Himalayas and I think you'd prefer not to, as well. It's a beautiful world we live in and I intend to be an active part of it.) And to tell you the truth, as a writer I know there's tremendous value in bending the truth, at least when it comes to helping one to feel the truth. Why? Tim O' Brien, author of the brilliant metaphysical war story The Things They Carried, perhaps puts it best: “That's what fiction is for. It's for getting at the truth when the truth isn't sufficient for the truth.”

On this episode, I'd like to thank the squirrels outside my window for reminding me of a little old gent who built a shanty and pissed off the government back in the 1800s. Yes, I'm talking about Henry David Thoreau who spent his days sitting in his little cabin in the woods on Walden Pond. And yes, that guy seriously loved squirrels. I precisely remember reading his book Walden ( which is a fantastic read by the way that you should check out) and for two whole pages the dude talks about squirrels scampering across the snow. Ridiculous? Perhaps. But you can also look at it from another point of view. Thoreau focused on the minutia and the beauty of the small things in front of us. And that my friends is what I'd like to talk about. Let's talk about the 1 sign you're creating work that matters... After attending Harvard in the 1800s, Thoreau did the exact opposite of what one was supposed to do. While other educated men followed the well-trodden path of medical school or law studies, Thoreau grabbed a hammer, some nails, a few blocks of wood, and went to write in the woods just 19 miles outside of Boston. Did his work save lives? Plenty. Did his work shape law? Big time.   All criticism aside, Thoreau went on to pen two key books that continue to inspire many today to practice the art of awareness, to look at the meandering veins on a fallen leaf, and to consider that our life's work is to develop something that transcends the physical. Just as soon as his work began to inspire many, it was just as soon followed with criticism: the #1 helpful sign that you're walking your own path and creating work that matters. What do the critics say? Some call Thoreau a phony since he didn't really live off the land and would often walk two miles to his parents' home for a hot meal… he'd often frequent the local pub for a cold brew… and many say he wasn't as hardcore as John Muir (the other famous nature-lover that inspired Teddy Roosevelt to create the U.S. National Park system... And the list goes on. So, here's a serious question. Why do we  criticize people? Modern psychology would say that criticism is often reflected in one's own frustration and insecurity to walk their own path. Makes sense since carving your own path is a heck of a lot harder than walking the well-trodden trail. Criticism can be a helpful sign, however. Contemporary business strategist, Dorie Clark, framed it like this when we sat down for a chat. She said, “criticism helps us know when we're on to something worth working for.” Ah, there's the rub. Criticism, however, can cut way deeper than a stick or stone or the thorns that cover the road less traveled by. Criticism sucks, plain and simple. It can even stop us dead in our tracks of creating work that matters. The thing is, when we conform to what others consider normal to avoid criticism, we stray away from what inspires us. We veer away from the greatest version of ourselves. Like Abraham Maslow said, we all have a unique genius to offer the world — art that the world needs, as Seth Godin often puts it — and committing to our inspiration will lead to being criticized. The only way to escape criticism is to do nothing and say nothing like the old saying goes. The truth is, the world needs your work: -- That memoir you've written, but haven't pitched to an editor for fear of being criticized for being too real and too vulnerable, needs to be read by those who will relate to your story and will no longer feel alone. -- That newsletter you've been writing on your own, but haven't shared with the world, needs to be read by the young yogis who want to build a bridge between body and spirit. -- That start-up you've been longing to build? Yes, the world needs that too. But, how do you start?   Footstep by footstep.  

You're listening to Your Life on Purpose:  the podcast that helps  you feel less like a cog in a machine by connecting the dots between life, your passions, and what the world needs, all in under ten minutes.   Music I'm your host Mark Guay and welcome my friends to season 2 of Your Life on Purpose. On this episode, I'd like to share with you a story that happened in my life when I went to college. It wasn't a major event back then, yet now I realize that this small dot in my life significantly altered my way of looking at living my life. Let me take you back: On one blistery fall night, the trees had shed their motley colored leaves and, as chilled air blew throughout the college campus, I walked the two miles back to my dorm room to go to sleep. Before that, however, I did what one shouldn't do before bed: I checked my digital messages. And as I waited for the archaic clunky desktop computer to boot up Windows XP, I had no idea what would happen next. It was fall semester my sophomore year and I had died. The computer booted up, I checked my AOL Instant Messenger (remember that?), and messages flooded my screen like some type of dystopian novel: “Please tell me NO!.” “Mark, you will be missed. I remember when… ” ‘Mark, please call me as soon as you can.” And on and on and on. I then signed on to this new app called Facebook and quickly learned the reason for all of these messages. An old high school friend who thought he'd play a prank had posted: “RIP Mark Guay”. What ensued next surprised my old friend like a monster under his childhood bed. The message began to get shared and shared and shared well before the world even had a “share” button or a timeline. Facebook, at that time, wasn't even open to the public: only college registered students with a university email. The message took on the telephone effect where one person told another who told another who then embellished the story to tell another. When the telephone at my mother's house rang, she woke up from a deep sleep to hear the news no parent ever wants to hear: her son was dead. Meanwhile, at the time my mother heard the news I, on the other hand, was enjoying the fall sky and the smell of pumpkin spice in the air as I enjoyed an evening walk. My legs worked perfectly, my heart pumped oxygen to my blood, and a smile crept on my face every time a gust of wind would blow a vortex of leaves in the air. What about a cell phone, you ask? The minimalist in me at the time left my archaic flip phone in the dorm. Text messaging was too expensive, so I didn't have that either. As soon as I realized what had happened, I called my mother to tell her I was okay and proceeded to reply back to the many messages that filled my screen. Some perhaps thought my spirit had typed the messages, but alas it was just the peach-fuzz faced college me trying to let the world known I was alive and well. Reflecting back on this dot in my life, I realize now how lucky I am that this happened. I had the opportunity to experience something that many often wonder about: What would people say about my life if I died? Perhaps you've even thought of this before. A part of me wishes I had the foresight to save the kind messages people wrote, but without a camera or a screenshot feature, I didn't even have that option. Perhaps one day, Facebook will bring them back to me. But for now, I continue to think of this question. Asking myself what would people say about me if I were to die tomorrow continues to push me to be a more loving, kind, and thoughtful change-maker of a man. It continues to fuel my desire to (teetering on the cliche here) be the change I want to see in the world. It continues to allow me to see my imperfections as tools to learn more through the human experience. When I first wrote the Empowered Life template that many continue to use to manifest their greatest self, this was the first question I had asked readers to think about. It's a grave image, yes, (see what I did there?) but thinking of what people will say about you at your funeral allows you to reverse engineer and now build this vision into present reality. It pushes you to live in the now and be that which you want to be remembered for. —- Try this one-minute exercise: Take in three full and complete breaths with a 4-6 count inhale and 4-6 count exhale. Gently close your eyes, smile, and lengthen through the spine to broaden through your chest. Continue to breathe with this power posture as you begin to imagine one person in your life you love. Imagine them speaking to you and saying the things they will always remember about you. Imagine them hugging you, filling you with their love, and thanking you for the many kind words and loving deeds you shared. —- In my life, I've found this simple visualization technique to push me to be a better person in my life. Am I perfect? Ha, absolutely not — that's the beauty of living — but am I growing more and more into the person I love to be? Absolutely. Now, why does this visualization work? Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy taught us in her popular TED Talk that the simple act of putting our bodies into a power posture changes the hormonal structure in our body. Our body releases more happy hormones that boost our confidence and literally trick our body into feeling that which we wanted to feel. In other words, Cuddy took the old idiom “fake it till you make it” and gave it scientific backing. If you want to feel more confident, says Cuddy, putting yourself in a power posture and breathing complete steady breaths will literally get you to feel more confident. Pretty cool, right? Cuddy's research furthers my belief that we are capable of far more than we often give ourselves credit for. Perhaps like how Einstein showed us the universe continues to expand and expand beyond the limits of our understanding, we too as individuals can continue to expand and expand and expand. Perhaps we truly can become anything we intend to be. Well, that's my story for today. Thank you so much for joining me and I wish you a life full of love, light, and adventure. Want to say hello and share your thoughts?  Just head over to yourlop.com.. Now, without further ado, let's dance.

On this episode, I'd like to talk about life's greatest dance and how you can join this tango. Because I see this all the time…. High School degree? Check. Bachelor's degree? Check. Enrolled in Master's degree program? If I can't get a job first, check. Enter the dance and keeping optimism alive. For many, leaving college can be a bit of a downer. It's easy to lose the optimism that's the aura of a college campus. Why? For many people -- regardless of age and including myself -- it's difficult to shift from the safety net of academia to produce work that will get criticized by someone other than a professor. It's easier to keep our life's work trapped inside. Because you know… life happens: Raising children, taking care of elderly parents, persevering through an illness -- and then that whole silly trap of  keepin' up with the Joneses thing. It's just as easy, fortunately, to maintain this optimism and continue progress with your life's work. Here's how. The Need For Unlearning Understand first that you have all that you need to deliver great and meaningful work to the world. You don't need another certificate to validate your merit regardless of how many advertisements tell you different. It's too easy to get lost in the hamster wheel of needing more and more certificates to prove your worth. In 2015, more than twenty million students were enrolled in a college degree-granting program in the U.S. alone. That's an increase of 25% since the turn of the millennium in 2000 (Source). While that's beautiful, it's also alarming. From a behavioral perspective, we're now spending twenty years (or more) sitting in the classroom. This conditions us to be the receiver of knowledge instead of a creator. It's why we feel safe in beta-mode or prototyping behind the walls of the classroom, yet terrified to share our work with the world to critique.   Just Dance It's a whole lot easier to critique a movie than it is to make one. Or judge the quality of one's singing than it is to sing your own song. Or splash red ink to edit someone's novel draft than it is to write one true sentence of your own. Or sit in the stands of a game or build a fantasy team than to be in the arena. Just dance. Every dance starts with  one step. And if you trip, you trip. Even Swayze tripped once in a while. Entering the Arena of Purpose Now, the real work begins. As Sri Swami Satchidananda puts it: “We can hear things, study, form our own opinions, use our imagination, but nothing can equal experience." I take this as meaning we can dive deep into learning and get lost in research without actually doing any work on our own. When you're in the Arena of Purpose, you will get criticized, reviewed, and perhaps be the subject of popular opinion. And yes, when criticism comes our way, it's so easy to go back into hiding. But realize, as Steven Pressfield puts it in The War of Art, “It's better to be in the arena, getting stomped by the bull, than to be up in the stands or out in the parking lot.” ---- There's a picture sitting on my nightstand of me and my wife in our senior year of college that I look at before going to bed. It's spring and I had just walked down from the stage after performing in my college rock a cappella group. (Yes, I was that cool.) I'm wearing bright red polyester pants and clearly need a haircut and Kaitlyn has a smile on her face that would brighten the sun. I look at this picture and it reminds me that life's a dance: a beautiful tango where we dip and lift through our greatest performance and when we fall, we rise again and move on to the next step.

I talk a lot about the power of writing on this show and a lot of you have asked me to dive a bit deeper into how to write, specifically, how we can use writing as a tool to discover the self. Because as Joseph Campbell reminds us: It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. So, that's what today's episode is all about. Fifty or so of us sat around the room, ready to begin a group meditation which would be followed by a group writing session. Artists, vagabonds, spiritual warriors of all types, from all over the world, sat around me. Gongs, singing bowls, shamanistic feathers filled the room. The bell chimed, I closed my eyes and up our chakras we climbed as we dove inward to sit with the soul and hold hands with the inner self. Thirty minutes later, the meditation came to a close and from there the writing session began. Those around me scribbled their thoughts on the page in haste. I sat still: frozen by my inner critic. As soon as I would start to scribe a sentence in my notebook, I'd feel the eyes of all those behind me: judging me, criticizing me, evaluating my sanity and sense of worth. I felt ashamed to write one authentic sentence and remained clothed in my insecurity. I didn't know then, but now I have a closer understanding of what F. Scott Fitzgerald meant when he wrote: “What people are ashamed of usually makes a good story.” We are all full of stories that shed light on the human condition and can help empower another. Which brings me to my own insecurity as I come closer to experiencing my actualized self. Perhaps by opening up, my story may lead you to your own discoveries.  I've always felt a bit insecure when it comes to my own personal writing. To create anything original, writing or otherwise, I've always had to lock myself in a room or nuzzle into a nook in the library to be safe to write. This is normal, of course. I see it all the time in my students who, when it comes time to write down their memoir, they lean forward in their seats as they write to make sure no one can read their prose.  That's part of the process and even the greats like Stephen King have confessed tremendous trepidation in transferring any kind of writing to the reader: fiction, nonfiction, or personal narrative. Why? Because writing is an extension of the soul that leaves us bare and exposed. But it's also a tool for discovery and communicating those discoveries with others. Personal writing has often been looked at as the writing to keep to ourselves. What I'd like us to consider is that when we share our personal narratives, we empower others to lift the masks we are so often coerced to wear. By sharing authenticity, we spawn authenticity.   Writing roots you in deep and it's in this connection that we better study the self. Yogis call this study of the self Swadhyaya. It's the practice to answer the question: “Who Am I?” This study breaks through the masks we have come to wear and connects us all on a deeper level. Specifically, writing binds us together in a grand narrative. It's the connective quality that makes social media addictive before the world uttered a tweet. How I Write to Answer “Who Am I?” Stage One I stare at a blank page, tune in, and write. I erase half of it and hoard whatever is left, offering it up to a salvage yard to discover it's perceived value. Stage Two I dig into what other respected authors have said and imagine them as my posse — ready to back me up in a literary showdown should anyone call me out to a duel. Stage Three I write and edit. Write and edit. Write and edit. Persuade my wife to edit my work by making her Star Wars pancakes. Edit again. Then I click publish and my work is out there. Stage Four I no longer own my work. What I intended through my words, the relationship I create with my words, is now up to the reader to decide on his/her own. Now, the text lives on its own. Stage Five A reader stumbles upon my writing (perhaps because you were so kind to share it with them) and then creates a relationship with it. The reader interprets the text on his/her own — often in a way that it far different than I intended. ------------------------------ Not too long ago, my writing took a grand shift. I shifted from the safety of writing about what I knew academically to writing about my own journey and discovery. My source shifted from APA format to DNA. It's delectably terrifying: searching out truth through the self. Why? Because as I continue to unwrap my authentic self through means like meditation, yoga, right-brain sporadic prose and dream journaling, I keep finding that all that I thought I had known as my self — my tectonic foundations — actually shift like currents in an ocean. Words, however, remain fossilized through clicking “publish”. I will continue to evolve throughout my life, but the words I once penned on the Internet will remain concrete and still when in actually they were just ripples through the tide. Writing is the window into my heart and yes, of course, I fear the critic. Such is the essence of what Pema Chodron may have meant when she said, “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” A personal story I've written about, a personal discovery I've shared…they are the skin I shed and not the skin I wear today. And tomorrow will bring about a new shedding. And so on. And so on. Such is the nature of my work. I write about the discovery of the self. That's my journey on purpose. Writing helps one discover the authentic self, but I've learned that it's the relationship I build with others through my writing that leads to my greatest discoveries.

I'm about to venture out to Breakneck mountain to meet with an old friend whom I haven't seen in ten years. I'll be off in the woods for the day, but promise to come back tonight to read your emails. Before I walk into the wild, I want to share with you what I learned from my recent trip back home. I learned the art of direct compassion. ---------------------------- I sat across from my father, stared into his eyes for an entire minute and said three words he hadn't heard a lot while growing up in a dilapidated mobile home park in Buffalo, NY. His eyes teared up and so did mine. I said, “I love you.” A rush of energy flooded through me and my father. Energy that brought the two of us closer together. Energy that helped us both reach deeper into ourselves. You see…. a blue-collar man raised in the smoke of the railroad industry, my father grew up like many men. He learned that in order to get the job done, one must hold in his emotions. Life is hard and thick skin is what gets you through the hardships of life. True perhaps to some degree, but as Joseph Campbell reminds us, “The fundamental human experience is that of compassion.” Compassion — showing love for others and love for ourselves— drives us all further down our own hero's journey. Because remember, the hero's journey isn't Frodo searching for a ring nor is it Luke Skywalker mastering his Jedi skills to overthrow an evil empire. These are just metaphor for the hero's journey told through a compelling story. The hero's journey is a journey inside. As Campbell himself put it: “The hero journey is inside of you;  tear off the veils and open the mystery of the self.” To move further down the inner hero's journey, Campbell reminds us that we need to practice direct compassion for our self just as much as we do for others. My inner journey took a turn this past weekend and began with a six hour drive to my hometown Buffalo, NY. Instead of meeting up with a bunch of people and getting my whole family together, I did something different. I met with each of them for 1:1 quality time and did something I haven't done before. I looked them each in the eye and told them I loved them and explained why I do. Each of them teared up. And I did too. See, here's the thing: Direct communication is compassion for the soul. When's the last time you looked someone in the eyes, held their hand, and told them how you honestly feel? It's easier to go throughout our lives by avoiding eye contact and avoiding honest communication out of fear of argument. Why else are children often told to avoid topics of politics and religion at the dinner table? Consider, however, that by being honest in our communication we practice compassion for ourselves. Through this, we gain confidence in our own voice. Honest communication to others and ourselves is hard work. It's a lot easier to politely agree or nod your head with someone instead of disagreeing with them. It's a lot easier to avoid direct eye contact instead of telling someone they hurt you. It's quite awkward at first to look at someone other than your spouse directly in the eyes and tell them you love them. This type of communication moves the energy in our relationships and all parties involved grow because of it. I invite you to try this: Choose someone in your life that you appreciate, love platonically, or love romantically that perhaps you haven't told before or in a while. Or perhaps you haven't been direct in your communication of how you feel. Spend just one minute and look directly in their eyes and continue to tell them throughout this time why you appreciate them. That's it. Sounds too simple, yes. I thought so too. Thing is, many people (myself included) are not used to direct communication, so don't be surprised if this moves the person you speak with. Chances are you'll feel moved too because this directness opens doors to the self. Why? Because by doing so, you're showing compassion for your greatest self. As I continue to connect the dots in my life and grow into a more actualized being, I'm learning that compassion for the self moves one further down the hero's journey. If we disagree with someone, if we feel hurt, or if we love someone and haven't deeply shared it, we're not being honest with ourselves. We're not showing compassion to ourselves. We're holding ourselves back from truly learning from the experience. And perhaps it's these lessons that we sometimes need to open a door to the next stage in our journey. What about you? Let me know what you think and share YOUR story with me. Reach out to me at yourlop.com. Well, that's my story for today. Thank you so much for joining me and I wish you a life full of love, light, and adventure. Want to say hello and share your thoughts?  Just head over to yourlop.com..

Today, I'd like to talk about love. No, not the kind of love you're thinking about. I'm talking about platonic love for the self and others and I learned it while on a yoga and meditation retreat at Blue Spirit in Costa Rica. I just came in from practicing headstand and have poured my second cup of java. Thanks for joining me today. The howler monkeys screamed outside and the humid air hugged my skin like a warm blanket. I sat down and faced a woman who I barely knew and placed my hand on her chest to feel her heartbeat. She did the same and we stared deeply into each other's eyes for five intense minutes. Sweat began to pour down my face, stinging my eyes and, as my heartbeat grew in intensity, I thought about my wife back home. This is definitely not appropriate, I thought to myself, as intense guilt began to flood my mind. But what followed next surprised me like a rainbow that appears without a cloud in the sky. Such is the nature of a mindfulness retreat in the jungle. I felt intense love for this woman. Not the love I feel for my wife or the love I feel for my family. A very different kind of love. A platonic love. A love, as Plato would call it, where two people help the other further see down one's spiritual path. As I stared deep into this woman's eyes I felt her soul, and I felt her peering into my soul-self. All the masks that both of us wear during our day-to-day were stripped away, leaving us bare and exposed. I saw her struggles and she saw mine. It felt both liberating and terrifying in a way that I struggle to explain as I type this sentence. I felt connected and experienced the concept shared by many of the world's beautiful religions — oneness. I more viscerally felt something I've known intellectually for quite some time — that we all have a connected soul beneath the physical existence. Perhaps you've experienced a connection on this level before, as well? Whether with a friend, a mentor, or anyone who has helped you out. In his dialogues, Plato reminds us that we should be seeking more of this love because it brings us closer to the soul. There is then a union with the soul, much like I've discovered through my own yoga practice. Did Plato perhaps stretch in downward dog before beginning philosophy class? Did he and Patanjali hang in the ancient days of lore? This connection with the soul-self is rooted in the etymology of yoga, as “yoga” in Sanskrit translates as “union.” Yes, yoga is far more than what Americans have come to understand. It's not just physical posture and stretchy pants, though I would never dismiss the benefits of both. A strong physique is great and stretchy pants should become the new business casual. But I digress. As I navigate my own path, I work to maintain this level of loving awareness and connection, though this comes with its own struggles. This is where I often open up a good book to find some wisdom to grow my spirits. Rumi is very often a first choice. So, what does Rumi say to do? Let go to love and experience the source that unites. About a thousand years ago, I imagine him sitting under one of the pomegranate trees that populate the Persian soil as he wrote, “This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” As you go throughout the rest of your day today, consider, as I am, embracing eye contact and connecting with the souls of those you meet. At the next networking event, consider not talking about “what do you do?” and paper-pushing job-speak. Instead, ask about their journey on purpose and have a conversation about their passions. When sitting down for a meal with the family, look at your loved ones with the same heightened level of love as you will the homeless man on the street. It's a beautiful world out there and each of us has a story worth hearing. Well, that's my story for today. Thank you so much for joining me and I wish you a life full of love, light, and adventure.

Today, I'd like to share with you a story that I haven't shared with many people. It involves my Placenta, Star Constellations and Ego-less Existence. It's what I learned while floating in a sensory deprivation chamber for 90 minutes. Here we go: I closed the door behind me and looked down at my new home: a one-foot deep tub of salt water meant to float my body and deprive me of my senses for the next 90 minutes. I laid down in the dense salty tub, ready to float into bliss, as the lights dimmed and the soft music that once filled the room drifted off into the abyss that now enveloped my sight. Utter blackness. Utter silence. Utter weightlessness. I had heard about floatation chambers quite often, as they continue to pop up in cities across the world like the one-time ubiquitous oxygen bars of the 1990's. But unlike the O2 bars which promised a bit of relaxation, floatation chambers (a.k.a. sensory deprivation chambers) are said to offer unparalleled relaxation, detoxification, and a trip into the realms of higher consciousness. Principal researcher Dr. Peter Suedfeld has devoted his work to studying the effects of sensory deprivation since leaving Princeton in the 1960s. His research continues to find how a float in a chamber can help treat chronic pain, high blood pressure, and autonomic nervous system problems. Other researchers, like Glenn Perry (one of the first to build and sell tanks), have shared the meditative benefits of a flotation chamber. When the senses are deprived, a person is more easily able to meditate since the aches and pains of the body are gone. This helps reach what yogis call Samadhi — a state of blissful awareness. So, why did I wait so long before giving a float serious thought? Because I was scared. I like being in control (which is something I think you can relate to). Also, an urban legend floats around sensory deprivation of a man who lost his sanity and murdered his lover that night. That alone was enough to keep me away from the salty bath. My friend Mike — a many-time floater and bliss-seeker — told me that his first float ended with him convinced that Planet of Apes was not fiction, but real — as real as the hardwood door that separated the flotation chamber from the apes outside who controlled the planet. After creaking open the door, Ian discovered not apes manning the front desk of the floatation center, but a few petite women in yoga pants. Not exactly the formidable opponents he expected. While I can't say that I left the float chamber convinced apes had taken over, I did share my own transcendental experiences that could make for the next great existential novel. Like meditation can often be, the first twenty or so minutes in the float (it's very tough to actually conceptualize time in a sensory deprivation chamber) dragged on like paint drying. While time seemed to slow down, my mind raced like a Formula One driver and I heard the inner sound of my mind spinning like a DJ at a meditation-fused house party. — Then I dipped into thinking back to my youth. And by youth, I mean floating in the primordial amniotic ooze with my placenta. Floating there weightless, it reminded me a lot of what being a fetus must have felt like. But it didn't feel like I was fabricating this reflection. I literally thought back to feeling what it was like as a fetus, floating there for nine months weightless, bouncing around in the womb with the comfort in knowing that everything I needed in life was being taken care of by God through my birth mother's nutrients in this wonderful miracle we call birth. I then thought about growing old. It occurred to me how strange that we often think of life as a period of years where we grow up through adolescence then grow old and die, when it can also be looked at as a time of continuous growth that transcends the physical existence. Even though the body may die, our soul grows beyond the physical. Perhaps through Jungian spiritual archetypes, what we learn in this life is imprinted on our soul and carries on into the next. Herein lies the ability to choose evolution. Our mind can continue to evolve (through mindful habits like meditation) to experience nirvana and the interconnectedness of all beings. Perhaps we may truly be made of star stuff, as Carl Jung often alluded to. — I blinked. Then blinked again. Were my eyes open? Or closed? I truly couldn't tell. I began to see stars, and then constellations form as if I were watching the blood vessels dance when we stare at the back of our eyelids. I moved my arms and legs into constellations, floating there like I were in space. Weightless — like the soul. I realized that here I was floating in a salty tub, but I couldn't feel anything. I was weightless and not distracted by body aches and pains. Gravity no more. Here I was, the first time, having a conversation with my soul separate from the body. For the first time, I felt like I was a spirit having a bodily experience, not the other way around. — I thought of a question that's been on my mind. If a person weighs the same before and after they die, but they are not there anymore, what is it that we call “I”? Where did the self go? Did the soul just float away? Enter the ego. I began to see the physical body as a shell that carries us out through a life to teach the soul a lesson or a series of lessons. I thought of my studies in anthropology and marketing and how we as a culture have come to behave in a way that favors the physical body and not the soul. We've come to think that a commodity will bring happiness, when a physical object cannot feed the soul. The soul is only fed when the body follows one's inspiration. By living inspired one is living “in spirit” and therein walking down its path on purpose. I realized that meditation, much like the meditation in the floating chamber, helps one recognize the ego and tune into the soul and the interconnectedness of all beings. I suddenly felt the oneness I have read about in the work of so many, including the many holy books such as the Bible, Quran, Torah, Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, and the Tao Te Ching. As the lights began to flicker on and a gently strumming sound emanated from the room's speakers, one last thought entered my mind: What if we as a world culture focused more on the similarities between the world's many religions instead of its differences? Where would that heightened level of consciousness take us as a species? Well, that's my story and I'd honestly love to hear what you think.

Yoda the cat keeps jumping on my lap with his mouse toy as we play fetch and I keep reminding him that it's Your Life on Purpose work time. But he doesn't seem to understand, so if you hear a mouse squeaking toy, that's him saying hello. I just poured a delicious cup of coffee and am thinking of my students who -- about to enter their last year of school- are struggling to find clarity in their life's direction. Today's episode is all about finding clarity. Because, let's face it: we all feel a little lost at some point in time. I know I have before and it's led to some of my favorite memories. It turns out, however, that this is a good sign. It's a sign that we are pushing ourselves beyond status quo and hearing what Joseph Campbell calls “The Call to Adventure” or as I like to call it, The Call to Purpose. It's an inward journey. One that does slay dragons, meets mystical maidens and knights, and takes one far beyond the earlier reaches of adolescent maturity. It's one's collective evolution into a higher form of one's self. A journey that from the observer may look nothing out of the ordinary, but on the inside involves miles of spiritual vagabonding. -------------- Feeling lost sucks. It feels like floating on a life raft in the middle of the ocean of life as you watch a shark fin circle around and around and around. Try these paths the next time you feel a little lost: Writing for the Purpose of Investigation Yes, I'm a bit biased here, but writing is so often overlooked as a vehicle to draw out clarity in one's life. Why does it work? Because when we sit down to write (like in a journal), we bring to light meaning that has been inside us all the time. Just 5 minutes a day, trust me, with one day setting aside a bit more time to let your mind dance. This is what the Beat Generation writers are so famous for. Writers like Kerouac would hike to the top of a mountain, yell in splendor, then write feverishly in their journal writing down everything and anything that came up from the bottom of their mind. You meet a new part of your self every time you sit down to write. Meditation to Investigate The Senses Like writing, when we sit down to meditate, we grow more confident in the uncomfortable. As the mind races, we pull the mind in with the smooth and steady inhale and exhale and allow muddy water to settle. Just watch the TED talk by Amy Cuddy. Cuddy's research shows us how when we move the body into postures that display confidence, our hormones shift into actually feeling more confident. Meditation requires confident posture: spine stacked, shoulders gently rolled back, slight lift in the chest bone. Want to try meditation? Take a listen to a few meditations I made at yourlop.com or you can find them on Insight Timer. Living From The Heart The Yoga Sutras call this purusa. It basically means to practice two forms of love: self-love and compassion to others. To live from the heart means to let go of the past and to stop beating oneself up and to send love to what has brought us harm. During a meditation not too long ago, for instance, I couldn't stop from thinking about the tiny bugs that have brought Lyme Disease into my family and caused my wife (and me by extension) so much grief and torment. I kept imagining the bugs crawling throughout her body and felt carnal anger rise in me. So, instead of ignoring it, I focused on it intensely. I switched from hate to love. What happened surprised me. I immediately saw the Lyme spirochetes as living and breathing organisms just like myself. I began to feel compassion for them. They need a host and require my wife's body to fuel their life. They don't mean any harm, but instead are seeking out clarity in their own primitive life. Instead of wishing them dead, I felt love for them because I understood them. I imagined a radiant light and with a newfound appreciation for the spirochetes, I imagined telling the spirochetes that they are no longer welcome. Their harm is no longer welcome. They must move on. Since this meditation, I've gained clarity on what Lyme Disease has taught me and my family. It's deepened my love for my wife, fueled my desire for personal growth, and has brought to the forefront that which is important in my life: love, laughter, and gratitude. Vicarious Learning I'm a sucker for a good memoir. Why? Because unlike a personal development book like the many written by Dr. Wayne Dyer and Joseph Campbell (among others), a good memoir goes deeper into the anecdotes of another person's human experience. Through learning of another's struggle or suffering — called dukkha in Sanskrit — we can gain clarity in our own lives. Recently, I picked up the memoir, Brain on Fire, and have just a few pages left to finish it. I'm devouring this story because it relates so much to what I've seen my wife go through the past few years. A one-time writer for The New York Post, Susannah Cahalan, went from lexicon extraordinaire to brain-fogged flight risk in the psych ward in a matter of days. After many weeks of ambiguous doctor reports that summed up the hospitals confusion, doctors finally found out that inflammation of the brain caused Cahalan to lose her identity and motor function. Brain fog, lethargy, a roller coaster of emotions — this became the day-to-day for Cahalan. This is not much different from what I've watched my wife go through. Reading Cahalan's story, helps me empathize more with my wife. It helps me find clarity through compassion. Letting Go to Float Call it “Letting Go and Letting God” as Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say or call it Isvarapranidhana as Patanjali did thousands of years ago, it's the same thing. When we let go and realize that there's a higher power at play, it's a bit like learning to swim. When we first try to swim, we flail and exhaust our energy. Eventually, through practice and coaching, we learn how to let go into the buoyancy: we undulate our body efficiently so we can glide through water. As long as we breathe, we float. Thank you for joining me :)

I have to be honest. Many times I find myself so caught up in the future that I forget all that I already have with me. Yesterday was one of those days where I drifted from a mindset of gratitude: — As the beautiful Hudson Valley sun shone on my face, I couldn't help but think about the beaches of Kauai once again. — I did my first press into handstand last night, but I barely acknowledged this physical feat. Instead, I immediately thought about how one day I'll be able to do what that Cirque Du Soleil guy on Instagram does in a one-hand handstand. — When I scrolled through the internet to complete some much overdue work, advertisements callously reminded me that I don't have enough and that I need that new gadget, a slimmer waistline, or a new job to get me to where I need to be in life to be truly happy. And this happens over and over. Yesterday wasn't the first time. I've learned that it takes a conscious effort to focus the attention inward. Happiness is not something “out there” as the media overtly suggests, but rather it's inside.   As my yoga teacher Liz Schulman reminded me the other day in yoga teacher training, sometimes the most spiritual path we can take is the journey within because it helps us see that we came into this life with everything we will ever need. She said, ““The most spiritual thing we can do right now is to focus on what we have.” — Liz Schulman I'm reminded that each morning we are born again and this reset button propels me forward. What I do today is what matters. Not what I did yesterday or will do tomorrow. When I look at the sun today, I will be grateful that I can see the sun and feel its warmth when so many in the world will never get that experience. When I scroll through the internet and an advertisement pops up, I will think of the many people in the world living on just one dollar a day. I will be grateful for the gadgets and clothing that I already have. When I press into a handstand, I will thank myself for the many hours it took of dedicated practice to achieve this fluidity. What helps me come back to a mindset of gratitude? The breath. When my mind begins to race, I know I need to come back to a deep and steady inhale and exhale. This pulls the mind back and allows the muddy water to settle. Science teaches us that this type of breath — called Ujjayi or ocean breath in yoga — activates the parasympathetic nervous system which tells our fight-or-flight mechanisms to chill. When calm, we can then more easily acknowledge the present and live with gratitude. As our world continues to grow more connected and even more information comes our way, it will undoubtedly be more difficult to live in the present. Such is the evolution of society. But that's where the act of choosing where to place our attention will come in. That's where the art of gratitude will evolve the mind to further realize it's unlimited potential. That's when we will one day fully realize that all that we need in life came with our first breath. Thank you for joining me :)

I'd like to share a quick story about climbing fish and transformation. Not too long ago, my good friend Phil tried something in New York that no one has done before. He created a website that would connect people based on the books that have inspired them with the only requirement to meet for a conversation. The idea came out of Einstein's quote: “If you ask a fish to climb a tree, he'll spend his whole life believing that he's an idiot.” I took part in the experiment and every week, I rode the train into New York City to enjoy a cup of coffee with a wide-range of people: some straight out of college, some homeless, some millionaires, and many in their 30s who took a chance on a major career shift. They shared their stories of transformation and their dreams for the future. One went from English teacher to Broadway producer, another from T-Shirt Designer to a world-traveling photographer, and then there was a photographer who hung up the camera to start a magazine company. The only constant was change. These conversations were inspirational, of course, and here's the lesson I learned through that experience. We will transform over and over and over again. This is the definition of living. Things will happen in life that will challenge our beliefs: we will cry, we will fall, but then we will learn to dance again. These events while on one hand traumatic can equally be viewed as an opportunity to open a new door. In this dance, we transform. Don't resist the transformation. Later on today or tomorrow, try this. Find an old photo of yourself from when you were a little child and look into your eyes. Try to remember who you were back then and then think of how much you've changed. This type of change will happen over and over and over again as we grow throughout life. Life is a dance and to touch the future, you must become the future.

I just returned from a New York City and wanted to share with you a quick story. It involves a Jungian analysis workshop that I took part in and a sailboat. —————- I must confess: I'm a recovering daydreamer. All my life, I've struggled to focus in on the present because my mind so quickly would drift to Neverland. In school, at work, in yoga class, in flight — these are just a few of the many times my mind has wandered. Living in the present — to “be here now” — is the core of living mindfully. It turns out, however, that while tuning into the present is important, it's also helpful to tune into the images that arise from our unconscious selves: in daydreams, dreams, or images that arise during a form of exercise like yoga. What I'd like to explore with you today is what I learned in a Jungian analysis workshop I attended in New York and led by certified Jungian analysts, Morgan and Jenn Stebbins. Based off of Carl Jung's exploration of the unconscious, I'd like to leave you with three helpful steps to use the images that arise in your life as a spotlight to brighten your path on purpose. Try this... Create Space for Images to Arise Keep a journal handy to write down images that arise throughout your day. I use Evernote on my phone. Write down the images that arise unintentionally, like that in a daydream. As you go throughout your day, train your brain to recognize when you are daydreaming and instead of pushing away from the dream, embrace it. Explore the images that come to your mind and jot them down in your notes. Intentionally seek out images. In meditation, for instance, we're typically taught to push away the images that arise so that we can focus on the breath. Instead, however, try paying attention to the images that arise and write them down after you complete your meditation. It's okay if you forgot a few of them. Just jot down the ones that stuck with you till the end. Often times, I find a unique image to arise at the end that is far different from the first set of images that come to mind. Keep a dream journal near your bed. When you wake up, instead of jumping right out of bed, try spending just three minutes to recall any dreams you had and write them down. Don't be surprised when you start remembering more of your dreams after a couple weeks of doing this. Exercise to find images. In yoga, for instance, certain asana poses that are difficult for me tend to cause my mind to daydream so as to avoid the discomfort of the position. Mindful yoga action would suggest to come back to the pose and not let your mind wander. Just once in awhile, reverse this, and see what images come to mind during the pose. Write them down. Share An Image With Others Choose one image to focus on (I'll share mine in a bit). Share this image in a small group (2-3 people). It's best if these people don't know you very well so they can offer an objective point of view. Allow your group to talk out the possible symbolism of the image and do not offer any words. Instead, listen.  Perhaps you saw a wolf and while you think wolves are scary, your group focuses on how wolves may represent the loyalty of being in a pack, for instance. Personally Reflect on the Image Reflect on what others in your group said. Consider googling around and find what cultures in the past have said your image symbolically represents. Take all of this in and synthesize it with your own opinion and feelings surrounding the image. Write down any epiphanies that arise or just simply explore how this symbolic inquiry into the image could offer you direction in your life. ————— Here's what happened to me: Many images came to mind during just a five-minute meditation. The last one stuck with me. I imaged a sailboat drifting in the ocean a few hundred yards from where I stood on the beach. Gray clouds hung overhead, fear clouded my mind, and when the cold dark water touched my toes, I stepped back. I wore a hoodie and pants and wanted to swim to the anchored sailboat. I then shared this image with my small group. The two women in my group spoke of how the boat could represent movement with a sense of adventure. Since I felt I owned the boat, I own this adventure. Because I'm not wearing a wetsuit, they said, or properly equipped to swim through the cold water to the boat, there's some preparation that needs to be done. Okay, interesting, I thought. Then I went home and synchronicity (as Jung would call it) happened. I walked into my office and noticed a coffee cup out of place on a shelf near my desk. On the front of the cup, which just so happened to be a gift from my wife, read the inscription “Adventurer” just below the image of an anchor. Interesting, I thought. Then I opened up my email and at the top of the inbox was a message from a NY Times reporter I met two years ago. In the message, she told me that a friend of hers is moving from New Zealand to New York and wanted to know a bit about the public schools in my area. She asked if I could offer some advice to them since I know the schools in New York quite well. Oh yeah, she mentions near the end, the husband is a competitive sailor and since I learned how to sail on the Hudson River, could I perhaps also offer a bit of local advice on the sailing scene? A sailboat image at the workshop, the coffee cup with an anchor out of place, the email that inquired about sailing advice — that was enough for me to pay attention. So, what does this all mean? How will I use this image to help guide me down my path? Stay with me to find out. It starts with me getting in the water and preparing for an epic swim. -------------------------------- What about you? What images come to your mind and how could they perhaps help guide you down your path on purpose? It's okay if images don't come up right away. Just remember to share the image with a small group of people and then take in what you learn from listening to others. You may not get any epiphany, but this certainly will help you walk forward. Tune in with an open heart, open mind, and listen. Thank you for joining me :)

So, many of you know that I recently received my 200 hour yoga teacher certification over a 6 month intensive training regiment. And I'd like to share with you something I learned through my experience of spending months twisting and lengthening my body so that I looked more like Gumby. This story is about finding balance, literally and figuratively in our lives. It's so easy to go the extremes of lethargy or overdoing it. The middle path is always a lot freakin harder (well, for me at least) I laid on my back in a spinal twist to the left and breathed deep to stretch as far as I could. I had just committed to my yoga journey and gosh darn-it, I was going to be a real yogi. My instructor came over and offered an assist. With a grunt, I said yes. She helped me twist deeper and, after three deep breaths, I had twisted so much that I envisioned my body to look like Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man from above. I could go deeper. More, more, more — my mind screamed. So I grunted some more, squeezed my abs, and forced a deeper twist. And here, my friends, is where I learned my first yoga lesson. Forcing leads to injury, injury leads to pain, pain leads to suffering. I popped a rib. Forcing back the tears, I embraced that stoic machismo that young boys quickly learn the first time they cry on the football field. So, when I heard the “pop” and felt a stabbing pain in my stomach, I looked around to see if anyone else noticed. No one did, so I continued on with the class and quietly suffered on. My shavasana was a mental sufferfest. I left the class and immediately called my physical therapist. She suggested I bring my knees to my chest — even though this would hurt — and roll back-and-forth. So I did just that, popped that little ol' rib back into place, and made a mental note to never, ever, do that again. A sore stomach for the days following served as my post-it note reminder. My body had paid the penalty for this mental foul. Now, whenever I catch myself pushing too hard, my rib speaks a few words of advice: find balance between pushing and letting go. Or as Patanjali called it thousands of years ago: Sthira and Sukha. One must balance the polarity of working hard and easing back. Go too deep and you'll injure yourself, don't go deep enough and you won't grow. And this, of course, extends beyond yoga and flows into life. As a yoga teacher of mine, Richard Villella, put it: “A river when it's overflowing can move from a peaceful to a destructive force. Our mind is the same and when our mind is overflowing with noise it can become a destructive force.” Going out for a run is a great idea, but if you haven't run in years, would it be wise to go run a marathon? Probably not. Working on a new entrepreneurial venture is a noble journey, but, when coupled with working a full-time job, does it hinder your ability to be a good parent, spouse, or friend? A cup of coffee is okay, but two shots of espresso in a cup of coffee? Well I'm learning today that is totally overdoing it! The lesson I'm learning with this whole Sthira and Sukha business is that when I find this balance on my journey, I end up reaching a destination that goes far beyond the map I originally looked at. My bubble of potential pops, the world is suddenly round instead of flat, and I realize I've tapped into a universal truth: There's an infinite potential inside all of us. ----------------- What about you? Has there been a time in your life when you pushed too hard and injured yourself? How do you find balance and float onward without becoming a destructive force?

The air smells of suntan lotion and barbecue sauce and after spending the majority of the past day walking through an outdoor sculpture park these words from Michelangelo continue to swirl in my mind. He once wrote when asked about his sculpting: “The marble not yet carved can hold the form of every thought the greatest artist has.” “The marble not yet carved can hold the form of every thought the greatest artist has.” Let's dissect Michelangelo's words and talk a bit about creating art. I mean, what does creating art mean anyway? I just poured some fancy Kauai peaberry coffee and am enjoying the sweet maple syrup that a student gifted me before the close of the  past school year. I'll confess… I may (okay I do) work too much. I'm either writing something, teaching something, or thinking of something work-related. But a recent conversation with my friend Vlad at the Stormking Art Center in New York — a wide expansive field where gigantic abstract sculptures contrast with the rolling hills of the Hudson River Valley — put me in irons. We asked each other this simple question: Are we creating art?   I couldn't honestly answer the question. Why? Because I had my head down with so much work since the beginning of the year that I couldn't tell if I had created art or just kept busy. In the past six months, for instance, I taught writing full-time, graduated from a VERY intensive yoga-teacher training program, built up the marketing platform for a brilliant online school, and spent my weekends writing. I've done a lot, for sure, but did I create art? Stealing Sideways Picasso said that good artists copy and great artists steal. Why is stealing harder? Because when we steal as an artist, we first must really come to know that which we are stealing. Picasso, for instance, didn't just decide to draw some cubes on canvas. Instead, he devoured art history like a bowl of cereal. He took in this knowledge, stole little bits from here and there and then created anew. Tim O'Brien, one of my favorite American writers, also steals. He steals tangentially. He marinates in the syntax of other writers from other genres and backgrounds and then composes one true sentence and another and another and, when deconstructed, his writing mirrors those who he studied. I have to admit, that's how I write, as well, which is why this past sentence includes one of O'Brien's favorite literary devices: polysyndeton, the repetitive use of conjunction for dramatic effect (e.g. and, or, but, etc). Other writers from Kerouac to Maslow stole much of their ideas by taking eastern philosophy and molding it into something westerners could digest. The question is, what can you steal? What do you know so well which you could take out of context and re-frame it in a way that inspires a new crowd? What Are You Carving? There's a marble stone that only you can carve, your Excalibur per say, as Michelangelo reminds us: “The marble not yet carved can hold the form of every thought the greatest artist has.” There's a genius inside of you comprised of what you do and what comes your way and how you act and react. It's your lotus flower that rises out of the beautiful muck in your life. The question isn't if you've found your marble stone. The question is, have you picked up the chisel? Standing Naked in the Rain Creating art comes from being real and vulnerable. Sounds easy, but it's not. Why? Because creating art is dangerous. There's no guarantee that what you create will impact people. There's no guarantee that it will bring in money. There's no guarantee that you won't fail miserably and get laughed at by the whole world. Creating art is life on a pogo stick. Creating art is a dance in the rain.

3 Ways to Find Focus Amid Distraction It's a holiday weekend in my local village as I sit here and record this podcast. In just a few hours fireworks, BBQs, and picnics will have dot the streets like stars in a country sky. It's quite a beautiful display of community pride and family love, yet as much as I tried to plan ahead, I still find myself with some work I need to finish before diving into the festivities. Does this ever happen to you? Perhaps if you work from home like I do much of the year, you also struggle with finding work/life balance when there isn't a clear punch-in/punch-out clock. So, how does one find focus amid the Sirens of distractions? Turn Off Media and Multitask No-More There's no such thing as background noise. There's noise and then there's silence. If the television is on and a person is on the phone, for instance (like I caught myself doing yesterday), the mind struggles to find clarity. Background noise turns mindful thinking into white noise confusion. Multitasking is dead. Tuning into the present is very much alive. Try this: Next time you go for a drive, focus on just driving. Next time you go out to dinner, leave the phone in the car and challenge your friends to do so, as well. Tune into the point of meeting up for a meal: connect with those you love. Next time you catch yourself doing a bunch of things at once, drop it all and go for a ten-minute walk. And just walk, becoming aware of the breath and the minutia of your movement. Craft a To-Do List I have my wife to thank for this one. Every afternoon when I come over to my wife's office, I always see the same array: beautiful jewelry hanging around, pages of her novel writing on the table, and a checklist on her desk. Written in my wife's beautiful calligraphic script, she checks off the needed tasks for the day. When the list is complete, she can breathe easy, and there will be no guilt-trips when she turns on one of her favorite television shows later on. Try this: Create a list of 3-5 tasks you want to accomplish by the end of the day. Get them done as quick as possible and then take a walk. Tell yourself during the walk that you've done everything you needed to do that day. Anything else is just a bonus. More than likely you'll do more than that list, but without unnecessary stress. Take A Break To Tune Into The Breath One of the most valuable tools yoga has provided me with is learning how to take a real breath. In modern society, we've learned how to take consistent shallow breaths.  Shallow breathing leads to shallow expression. And here's the kicker: Mladen Golubic, a physician in the Cleveland Clinic's Center for Integrative Medicine, teaches us that when you take in a full and complete breath with, for example, a 4-second inhale and 4-second exhale, your parasympathetic nervous system overrides the sympathetic nervous system and your cortisol level decreases. Translation: Deep breathing has been scientifically proven to calm the mind, body, and nerves. Try this: Set a timer every 30 minutes to take several deep and steady breaths. In my personal experience, this has helped me return to a clear focus with a calm mind.   How about you? How do you stay mindful and focus during the holidays when you still have a bunch to do?

As the school bells begin ringing for the start of another school year, let's pause for a moment and think about something that we often don't reflect on. Just what is school for? Is it to get a job? To evolve our brain? To connect with other intellectuals? Or what? We've built a culture that sends its children to school for, at minimum, 20 percent of their life expectancy and we value education on a beautiful visceral level. We're willing to spend more on a college tuition than a home mortgage without the guarantee that a degree will even put a roof over our heads. But do we ever stop to really consider, what is school for? So I'd like to begin that conversation and ask you: What do you think school is for? Just leave a comment below or reach out at mark@yourlop.com. *** A Brief History of School   We hunted and gathered as storytelling animals and schooled each other around the campfire. Our grandparents were our teachers. Then we developed more nuclear families and farmed. School was in the home or in a community center, mostly for men to teach them the trade. Women were taught how to be women (an attractive catch for a man, a nurturing mother). Beyond the teenage years, higher education didn't really exist for the average person. The average person had to worry about food, shelter, and water and focus on providing for the family to survive. Now, in a land where we can get enough calories from a bar that's dispensed from a vending machine, we've moved beyond building sustenance and could then ask ourselves: what is my purpose? It's allowed for an intellectual evolution where people all around the world dig deep within themselves to create an enriching life that serves a deeper, more existential purpose. It's truly a beautiful time to be alive. Enter modern-day higher education. Reaching back all the way to Socrates, higher education used to be for the elite or the privileged. (Of course, there were some vagabonds who ditched material possessions to live a minimal monk-like life in search for a higher understanding of life.) Before World War II, college was only for the elite. And it wasn't a place to help people get a job. It was a place for intellectual stimulation, philosophy, the study of literature, and elitist fraternity. No one took out student loans. After WWII, the U.S. government began to give loans to soldiers to go to college and during the Vietnam War era, college for the masses began. It became a new normal, a new tradition. Counter-culture movements spread throughout college campuses inspiring radical thinkers like Steve Jobs to “think different.” College became the go-to place to be the change you wanted to see in the world. As Nelson Mandela put it, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” College was the vehicle to help someone improve their social ranking and achieve the American Dream. Since you could learn anything (with a loan, of course), you could become anything you wanted to be. Or so many were told. That worked for a bit... until the present. We've tipped the scale in the other direction and push our children through school with the best of intentions, but have lost a sense of why we're doing it. Incredible teachers and school leaders struggle to motivate children and help them live extraordinary lives in a school system that worked well for the factory-based industrial economy, but falls flat to help our children thrive in our current economy. And people don't really have much of a choice in the public setting, especially since modern-day trends to have both parents work full-time make it difficult to return to a more personalized homeschool instruction. While there are great options in online schooling (and some not-so-good), that's not possible for many working families. But don't take my word for it. Harvard lecturer Tony Wagner's research suggests that more and more students are dropping out of school, not because they can't perform well, but, rather, because they are bored. Krishnamurti pushes us in Think on These Things to consider that education is “not just about passing examinations, take a degree, get married and settle down,” but also to dive in and discover the extraordinary beauty of life. Education is everything but the  high-stakes testing which saturates The Common Core. Seth Godin argues in Stop Stealing Dreams that we need to transform education: “If school's function is to create the workers we need to fuel our economy, we need to change school, because the workers we need have changed as well.” —- Going Back To School I can't tell you how many of my former students, friends, and those I interview consider going back to school — myself included. Academia is a beautiful place. I love school. I love learning and something tells me you do too. But do we really need to pay another 100k to get that doctorate? Will that slip of paper really affirm that you are brilliant? Will it land you that job? Will it help you create something that matters? —- As the bells continue to ring this year, join me in thinking on these things. When we connect our dots looking backward, our school years will undoubtedly play a major role in shaping our lives. But we could do better for our future generation. As Wayne Dyer put it in The Power of Intention, “Creation acts upon the everlasting possibility that anything that is thought of, can be.” So let's embrace a deeper sense of what's possible. Let's work to help make this possibility happen.

What Blake Teaches Us About Living On Purpose It's a beautiful day here in New York and as I sip an overly sweetened espresso with chaga mushroom (yes, I know, I'm knew to chaga too for its health properties so we'll see if I get really goofy at the end of this podcast). I've been reading through my old poetry books and  I'd like to share with you some thoughts and reflections on William Blake's work. When I was in college, Blake's work taught me a lot about what it means to truly live life on purpose. ——- Now famed writer, poet, painter, and philosopher, when William Blake picked up a pen or a paintbrush, he got about as much recognition for his work as a squirrel does for digging up an acorn. The man died without a clue as to how much influence his work would eventually carry. Now, just walk down the halls of any college literature or philosophy wing and you'll likely hear a reference to Blake. He's often stated to be one of the most influential romantic poets of all time. Largely criticized and often viewed as mad, Blake produced what now has been pivotal work that shifted how society thinks. Through his work, he showed us the sublime: those divine aspects of life that shake one with terror while equally beholding the majesty of existence.   Like the great white shark who gently glides through the water with such grace, yet is capable of terrible destruction. Or the sun which warmly sprouts a plant to life and causes another to wilt with heat. The sublime is that divine relationship of shock and awe, like standing on a field just shy of a tornado's path. Blake inevitably died leaving little money to his name, yet his flesh went to the grave while his best work continued to thrive. What can we learn from Blake about living our lives on purpose? Seek Approval from Inside Fact: our need to find acceptance from others is what makes us invisible. Fact: everything we need in life came with our first breath. Blake continued to churn out his work under the belief that his body was just a mere vessel for the divine to work through. He's not alone in this regard. Many famous artists and scientists since then, from Michelangelo to Dyer, have shared similar words. Perhaps Da Vinci put it best when we said, “Where the spirit does not work with the hand there is no art.”    Embrace the Sublime Blake taught us that the greatest beauty in life is the relationship between the opposites: when the good meets the bad, when the light meets the dark, when the other meets in the middle. It's in this relationship that we may come closest to living our lives on purpose. Choosing to pursue an entrepreneurial venture instead of a 9-5 is equally terrifying as it is exhilarating, much like many of the entrepreneurs I interviewed on my previous podcast, The Traveling Cup. Choosing to stand up for your beliefs when in a crowd of opposing beliefs is equally liberating and dangerous. Speaking one word of truth may cut deep into another's skin. Embrace the Critic Like Aristotle taught us, any work worth something will undoubtedly face its fair share of criticism. Understand that if you are receiving criticism, it's a sign that you are doing work that matters. You are getting others to think. You are standing out. You define beautiful. ——- What about you? I know when I first read Blake's work (one of my favorites being the poem, The Smile which I'll share after our dance break), I didn't quite get the sublime. It wasn't until years after college did I appreciate Blake's thoughts on existence. Such is the nature of living I guess, where with age comes experience and with experience comes a deeper understanding of love, living, and laughter.

Wake Up in 60 Seconds It's amazing how the mind works, right? One moment we can be angry and pissed off; in another, happy and gregarious. One moment we can sick; In another, healthy. Take, for instance, the last time I acted on stage. I had just come down with a delicious case of the flu and couldn't hold down my lunch for the life of me. My roommates stayed far away from me lest they too come down with this stomach bug. How, for the life of me, would I play a carefree and bubbly college student on stage that night? And the kicker… my character was the proverbial 30-year old who still lived at his parents' home and comes home drunk to devour a plate of cold Spaghettios live on stage. Yes, a plate of cold spaghetiios. Now, if you don't know what spaghettios are, imagine finding a very old can of spaghetti with meatballs and tomato sauce. Not exactly the kind of thing you want to eat or even see when you're down with the flu. Minutes before the spotlight would shine on me that night, I imagined all the terrible scenarios that could happen on stage as I tried to hold down my character's late night supper. I Inhaled deep I breathed deep and steady for 60 seconds and did what I would always do before a performance. I said a quick prayer to my Nanas, imagined them in the audience watching me, and visualized my best performance. The lights went up. I came on stage. And before I knew it, there I was bowing before the audience feeling healthy and happy with that high that all actors know comes after a performance. Exhale The applause died down and with my first step off the stage, I transformed back into my terribly sick self. How could this be? I thought to myself. One minute, I'm sick. The other, I'm healthy, and then I'm sick again?! Sam Harris tells us that the answer may be as simple as one breath. In his book Waking Up Harris says: “How we pay attention to the present moment largely determines the character of our experience and, therefore, the quality of our lives." “How we pay attention to the present moment largely determines the character of our experience and, therefore, the quality of our lives." This reminds me greatly of one of my favorite quotes by Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do.” We become the snowball of our daily decisions. Join me in trying this: For the next 60 seconds, press pause on whatever mindset you currently have. If you are driving, of course, please make sure to stay focused on the road. Take a deep inhale for four seconds followed by a deep exhale for four seconds. Repeat, starting the inhale in the deep bottom of the belly and rising it to the back of the shoulder blades. Exhale, coming back down. Continue to breathe this way as you look around for a bit of beauty in front of you: the sunlight as it glistens off the petal of a flower, the bee that defies physics and hovers above a flower's stamen, or a coworker or loved one who brings you joy. Turn now to think of one bad thing that is not happening to you. You are not losing a limb. You are not running downstairs because of a missile attack. Your house is not on fire. You are not running out of water. You are not alone. And on and on and on. You have abundant joy in your life, in this moment, in this breath. ------------------- Let me tell you a secret: When I woke up this morning, I felt lethargic and jet lagged and quickly thought of all the work I need to do, the errands that need to be done, the commitments I made to those I love, the mountain of things that I keep saying I will get to one day but never do. In my first moments of waking up this morning, I felt defeated. Instead of focusing on the abundance of joy in my life, I focused in on the negative. So, I shuffled over to my pour-over, fed Yoda the Cat, and took a few breaths. And in those breaths, I realized I was choosing to be unhappy. Right now, as I type this message to you, I'm choosing to be happy. What are you choosing right now?

Since it's the beginning of a new season, I  think it's only right that this episode dives into a very deep and personal story of mine: one that I haven't shared public before. One that took me four years to be able to tell anyone besides my wife. I'm talking about one of the biggest upsets in my life. I'm drinking a hot cup of coffee on this fall-like day in New York and if coffee is your thing, grab your cup and join me. All right, here we go. The story I'm about to tell you involves a job interview at both Apple and Stanford in the spring of 2014 that rose my spirits to the heights of Mt. Everest and quickly slammed them down into the Pit of Sarlacc. And for those who don't know what the Pit of Sarlacc is...well, it's the terrible toothed sand monster that digests a human for 10 thousand years. But first, let's go back... The snow had melted, the trees had begun to bud, and Apple sent me an email.  It was 2014. They'd like to fly me out to Cupertino to their headquarters, the email read, to meet with their education marketing team for a position I'd be great for. Now, to step back a minute, it's important to understand my love for Apple. Yes, the products are sleek and sexy, but my fascination with Apple was nil compared for my adoration for Steve Jobs. Jobs was the epitome of success in my mind's eye (setting aside his cruel temperament later exposed through Isaacson's brilliant biography). I deeply related to Jobs: we both were adopted, we both grew up in a modest poor family without a well of money, and we both found meditation to be a source of empowerment in our teenage years. “Well, this is interesting,” I thought as I scanned the email again to make sure it didn't come from some 3-party scammer. Realizing it was legit, I shared the news with my wife and in a state of ecstasy began planning my trip to California. I loved teaching. I loved my podcasting and writing ventures. I loved living in New York. But, yes, I would leave all that behind for this dream job. Around the same time of Apple's email, I also received news from Stanford. I made it into the final round for an education fellowship on their design team. A colleague at Stanford recommended that I apply since I had shown great promise in my writing and the first podcast I created, The Transforming Education Podcast. Eager to grow my impact in education, I packed my bags and flew off to California. After starting up my rental car, I quickly headed over to Stanford and then Apple headquarters to get a taste of what may possibly be to come. I immediately fell in love with Northern California's meandering coastline and giant trees and did exactly what one shouldn't do this early in the game: I found the perfect little home to rent for my wife, Yoda the Cat, and myself. The interview at Apple was grueling -- six hours of back-to-back meetings -- but I walked out confident I had best displayed my talents and love to transform education. A move to Northern California seemed imminent and I flew home, eager to share the news with my wife. But when I walked into the door, I felt what Dicken's must have felt when he wrote: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom…”. My wife's battle with Lyme Disease had grown more intense. Her fatigue increased, brain fog clouded her mental acuity, and our insurance had rejected IV antibiotic treatment. We'd have to cover the 10k/month treatment out-of-pocket if we wanted to continue. Regardless of whether Apple or Stanford asked me to join their team, we couldn't leave our support system in New York. Our team of doctors lived there and I relied on my in-laws to drive my wife to appointments when I couldn't take time off of work and her body grew too weak to drive. Two weeks passed by before I heard the news. I had come in second place at Apple and Stanford's board rejected my application because I hadn't filed as a non-profit. It's hard to explain my mental state at this moment. Emotionally, I was crushed. My self-esteem plummeted. Logically, I was relieved. Deep inside, I knew I would have to reject any job proposals and now no longer would have to worry about how this decision would affect my marriage. Even though the sun shined brightly that summer, I struggled to keep the light inside. The teaching job I once loved now seemed nil compared to what I could have done at Stanford or Apple. Meditation, yoga, writing -- these mindful tools kept me afloat. Two years would pass before I learned the lesson in all of this. I learned the art of letting go and surrendering to the results. The Art of Letting Go Practice letting go of any results and continue to focus on giving 110% of your effort. It's a way of living where you give everything in life your best effort and then practice being content with the results. It's like training for the Super Bowl and running your best 40yd dash and being content if all that effort leads to a new personal record instead of an NFL-draft pick. It's like tending to a field to grow this year's harvest and when a flash flood destroys the year's profits, being content that you have enough food to provide sustenance to your family. It's like giving it your best in a job interview and being content if you don't get the job. It's knowing that there's a greater lesson at play and there' s something to learn in all the results of all actions. The Art of Surrendering To be clear, you define what surrendering means and just so you know, I struggle with surrendering to this day. At its core, surrendering just means acknowledging that there's a great energy at play. There is something greater than ourselves in this game of life. And we are not in control of the timeline. I've found that when I surrender I allow myself to see the once-hidden lessons. When I surrender, I allow myself to let go and be free. ---- Now, What about you? This is the lesson I learned through this roller coaster in my life, but I'd honestly love to learn from you. What lessons have you learned from the dark times in your life?

I took a bit of a sabbatical from the podcasting world to focus on other ventures and am so excited to be back here with you. I just poured a cup of coffee and if coffee is your thing, grab your cup and join me. It's summer time and just before recording this session, I listened to the New York morning orchestra: traffic hummed in the distance while birds and crickets sang in harmony. Simple everyday things that add spark into my life. To my right, however, I see yet another garbage bag full of stuff. Stuff that no longer gives me spark. Since flying back from San Diego, I've filled my car with more garbage bags and boxes than I knew was possible. Books, clothes, paintings, cups, plates, bikes — these are just a few of the items I've said good-bye to. Why? For starters, it's because I've lived out of a suitcase for four weeks while house sitting in San Diego and realize just how little I actually need in my life. Second,It comes down to one simple question: Does this add spark to my life? In her bestselling book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, author Marie Kondo asks us this question and it's amazing to me just how often I've said “No” when asking myself it. And now, I challenge you to ask the same question: What adds spark to your life? Try this, Spend just 30 minutes going through your possessions and ask yourself if they add spark in your life. Consider, as well, your relationship and daily habits. If they don't, consider donating them to a local charity, recycle them, or if need be, make their new home the garbage can. Consider this: we live in a tremendous world of abundance. Just the mere fact that you are reading this on a computer or a smartphone is extraordinary when just a generation ago only Star Trek could fathom such technological gadgets. Food, clothes, housing space, cars, gadgets — these are just a few of the many items we collect over the years. And it's so hard to let go of these items. Why? Because of emotional attachment. For instance, one item I couldn't let go of is my old 35mm camera. Full of dust, my Minolta hasn't been used since the darkroom in college. But I just couldn't give it up….yet. It holds so much sentimental value in my life. This camera and the photography classes I took literally opened my eyes to see the world through a new frame. It helped me tilt the way I look at things. But does it add spark to my life? No, not anymore. So, yes, it will be donated to my local high school's film class for a starry-eyed teen to utilize. What mostly adds spark to our lives? For me, it turns out it's the simple things like this hammock I now sit in, my “Be Good to People” mug gifted by Tim McDonald, and the people I hold close to my heart. What about you? What adds spark to your life? It's amazing how much we can declutter with this one simple question. When I sit down to write, podcast, or create a lesson plan, my intention is to add spark to the lives of those whom my work reaches. I'm proud to say that in the past couple of weeks, it appears that the meditations I created have added spark to many lives around the world. In these few days, over thousands of people have started their morning listening to one of the meditations. Want to tune into them? You can listen to them for free on Insight Timer or download them at yourlop.com Ladies and gents, that does it for episode 1 of season two. I'm so happy to be back and appreciate you for listening and sharing a part of your day with me.   If ever you wish to say hello or ask me a question, just send me an email at mark@yourlop.com.

All right change makers. I have little bit to share some news with you. When I first launched this podcast in May of 2015, I had no idea it would garner such attention and pull together some of the most passionate and happy people I've have ever met.In June when I started getting emails from people thanking me for starting this podcast, I knew I had to pick it up and turn it into a daily podcast.And I did just that. I didn't know if I could do it, but trusted in myself that I'd find a way to make it happen.It's been 50 episodes and nearly 50,000 have tuned in. Over 200 hundred people have reached out to me directly and shared their stories.From a brilliant yoga teacher in Canada to an almond farmer in California, I've somehow tapped into a network of truly incredible people who don't want to just settle. We want to suck out the marrow in life as Thoreau would put it and live so as we're not just existing, but we're living. We're learning. We're growing.We're walking down our heroic paths and following the beat of a heart trusting that the dots will connect in the future.It's a beautiful way to live.—-My path has certainly changed since I started Your Life on Purpose. You've all given me such inspiration and because of you all I've pushed myself as a writer. Because of you all, my words and our message have been featured on The Huffington Post, Elephant Journal, Collective Evolution, and will soon be featured on Mind Body Green.Over 100,000 people have read my work this summer. And while I didn't make a cent off of those words, let me tell you something.Having 10,000 people read an article of mine, having over 1000 people a day tune into Your Life on Purpose podcast, and receiving emails from people sharing their own heroic journeys has paid me more than any paycheck could ever cover.And I just got asked to do a writing workshop at a major yoga festival in Arizona, United States in the spring of 2016.And for that, I thank you for making these dreams come true and joining me.—I've reached a turning point in my heroic journey and need to venture down the path that's calling me. It's a path that blends my passion for teaching, for writing, while also doing the right thing and maintaining my responsibilities as a loving husband, passionate teacher, and global citizen.I've often said that time is our most valuable commodity. And I need to be wiser with how I spend my time.Which is why I need to press pause on the podcast for now and focus on my writing and teaching.—I have a group of students who are eagerly waiting for me to begin my writing and communications course and I have beautiful ideas of how to help them activate the hero within them to live remarkably.Being a good teacher takes a lot of time and effort, and I don't want to be an ordinary teacher. My students deserve an extraordinary teacher.I have a wife who I love dearly who is suffering from Lyme Disease and needs my help. She deserves a loving husband.But I know I also have you all and you all deserve an extraordinary podcaster who creates motivating content.I don't ever want to deliver mediocre content to you which is why I am pressing pause on the podcast.Pressing pause will allow me to focus on my writing, be a stellar teacher, and also be a loving and supportive husband.It will also allow me to work when time is available on season 2 of Your Life on Purpose. I honestly don't know what it will look like, but my intuition tells me I will create 10 ten minute episodes at a time and deliver them in seasons much like a television series.I hope this works for you and when season 2 does start, you welcome me back into your lives.—If you're just tuning in to the show for the first time, please enjoy the last 49 episodes. I've shared with you tips to connect the dots between school, your passion, and what the world needs all in under ten minutes.I've shared with you advice I've received from some of the most brilliant minds I've interviewed including Seth Godin, Scott Harrison from Charity : Water, and the gender sociologist Jean Kilbourne among many others.I hope you go through the past episodes and don't just listen to the tips I share, but rather live them out.We could spend our whole lives reading a book and never live one ourselves.—-So, as I sign off here and take a break to work on my writing, I invite you all to join my weekly newsletter which I will most definitely continue. I send out on email every Sunday morning that includes tips and such that I learn from my own life along with the future interviews that I have planned over the next couple of months along with updates on Your Life on Purpose.I have extraordinary dreams for Your Life on Purpose. Imagine bringing us all together for heroic workshops and writing sessions all around the world and you can start to see what I'm talking about.I leave you all with the one tidbit of advice that Radhanath Swami said to me. He said, we can spend our lives focusing on the little fish — the little things that come up in life — but, it takes focus and patience to wait for the big fish and focus on the things that matter most in our lives. But to focus on the big fish, we have to let the little fish swim by.

This past weekend at Omega Institute, I had the privilege to listen to the words and sing with some of the happiest people I have ever met in my life.And I learned something that I'd like to share with you to start this episode. It's simple and it's only one question.When you strip away everything — all the fat — all the things that don't matter — what is the narrative that you're telling yourself? What is the story you're telling yourself?I found myself at breakfast and joined in on a passionate conversation about writing and life. When it came to my turn and someone asked me “What do you do, Mark?” I hesitated like always because I hate getting asked that question. Which I'm not quite sure really why.I said what I always do: “I write and I teach writing.” If they ask for more, I tell them that I run an online platform called Your Life on Purpose.But here's where I learned something interesting about myself.I asked Susan, the woman to my left, how we can find the narrative that we're secretly telling ourselves. For instance, one woman had explained how she realized that she was telling herself that she's worthy of abuse (which is why she was still in an abusive relationship); another woman said that she told herself that she's not worthy of greatness.Interesting, right?So, of course, I wanted to know what narrative I'm telling myself. Because I didn't really know.And then I learned that I was telling myself…I'm not a real writer.When the people at breakfast started asking me about what I write about, I started by saying that “I've written a few e-books, but haven't been traditionally published yet.”I also said “I write for The Huffington Post, Elephant Journal, and other large media sites, but I don't get paid to do it.”Susan helped me see that I'm talking myself out of being a writer. She said, I am a writer. I just need to tell myself that.Interesting, right?Throughout my life I've learned that I will always feel like I need another degree, another certification, or to make money from something to feel as if I am good enough to be a master. This is toxic thinking.Because I've learned that a master is not a teacher. A master is a student. And to master something means to constantly learn and work at becoming better at something.I mean….I've been teaching writing and communications for over ten years, am being asked to do writing workshops throughout the world, and have other writers ask me for tips to gain access to and write for large media sites.Over 10,000 people read my last piece.But I still found myself not calling myself a real writer when I introduced myself. That was the story I was telling myself.What's the story that you are telling yourself? Strip away all the fat and dig deep and try to find it. Pay attention to how you introduce yourself and what you say about yourself when meeting others.

Last night, I took part in a kirtan ecstatic chant led by the Grammy-award nominee Krishna Das then camped under the stars.  For those who don't know what kirtan is, my  beginner understanding is that it's a call and response type of singing that aligns vocal sounds to our chakras. I don't really know the ins and outs, but what I do know is that it makes me feel really good and keeps me on the positive. And that my friends is a good thing, right? Krishna Das and Radhanath Swami  talked a bit about the ripple effect and the collective consciousness. Like others have said before — including the Dalai Lama — the way we react to external stimuli (good and bad) directly influences those around us.  Some have even gone so far to say that our energy transmits a ripple throughout the ether, so that even people you don't come in contact with are influenced by your energy. Interesting, right? All that aside, there's tremendous power in projecting an optimistic and positive mindset when our dots don't really line up the way we had planned. Dr. Wayne Dyer puts it nicely. He says, “Initiate a habit of choosing thoughts and ideas that support feeling good and powerful, and that elevate you to a higher level of consciousness" So here are three thoughts to consider to help keep it on the positive and elevate your consciousness. 1. Meet Negativity w/ Love The other day, I witnessed an employee at a friend's company grow red in the face when on the phone with her boss. When the call ended, she cursed and verbally expressed (at a decibel well beyond what's necessary) how annoyed she was at her boss for not scheduling meetings more effectively. Her negativity was nearly impossible to ignore. Her negativity immediately changed the culture in the room and my shoulders grew tight. I walked out of the room because I just didn't want to be around that kind of negativity. How rude to steal away other people's happiness, I thought.  Then, I remembered what Ram Dass talks about in Be Love Now. He says to embrace all things with love. In times like these, try to understand that perhaps this person has had a really tough day. Or perhaps they have suffered a lot of loss in their life that led them to be quite negative. Or perhaps they just don't have a lot of loving positive people surrounding them in life. Point being... offerloving kindness in place of feeding negativity. 2. Frantic Energy Helps No One Dr. Deri Joy Ronis writes in Bridging the Gap to Peace: From a New Way of Thinking Into Action that “Frantic mental or nervous physical energy serves no purpose in helping us get beyond the very things that frustrate us.”  She adds that not being at peace isn't necessarily a bad thing, but a signal that we need change and should pay attention to it. Trust me — I understand how it's far easier to say this than practice it. I constantly struggle to recognize my pitta fire energy and douse it with water when I need to chill out. Sometimes, however, when “crap hits the fan” — so to speak — it's a lot easier to scream, shout, and be frantic.  But it won't really get me anywhere.  In yoga, it's often taught to dig deep into emotions and experience them so that you can understand them better. So, the next time you feel a deep surge to getfrantic, dig into that emotion and really feel it. Indulge a bit. If you want to scream, really scream. Do what Angelina Jolie has said to work and scream in a pool so it doesn't bother anyone. Just fully feel your sadness, anger, or jealousy and experience it without doing any harm to others.  The next time this emotion arises, it will be easier to recognize it and make a choice. You'll be able to choose whether or not to go down that path. More often than not, it will get easier to say “no, thank you. I don't need to go down that path.”  Another helpful trick here is a simple breathing exercise where you breathe in the mantra “I am a mountain” and breath out “I meet my vulnerability with love.”  3. Where's Your Positive Fuel? Having a positive mindset doesn't mean being ignorantly optimistic. It means making a choice to place your focus on the positive with the understanding that negativity does little to get you anywhere.  After college, a lot of us lose our optimistic fuel.  In college, most people are quite happy. Academia most definitely is a stressful environment, but, for the most part, days are filled with people who are activity pursuing their dream career and having lots of positive social interaction and meaningful discussions. After college, a lot of us enter into  what's often called the daily grind. Perhaps you're working a job that doesn't fuel you because you have a responsibility to bring in income to provide for your family. That, I'd argue, would be the majority of the over-educated employees working at jobs far below their skill after the 2008 economic crisis.  Just like you'd fill up your car on your daily commute, think about where you're filling your positive fuel tank. Actively seek out positive people at work, have a weekly in person or digital meet up with a positive mastermind group, or read material that focuses on the positive (i.e. not the newspaper).  We're animals, let's not forgot. We are an effect of our habitat. What makes us quite different from other animals, however, is that we have a choice to choose our habitat and those we invite to share it with us. We have a choice on where to focus our attention. At Omega Institute, Radhanath Swami used the analogy of a crane. He said, like a crane, we have the choice to go after big fish or go after the little fish. Big fish satisfy us far more than little fish, but if we just choose to go after the little fish, we can never focus on the big fish. If we choose to focus on the negative annoyances in life, we can so easily ignore what really matters. And that, Radhanath Swami states, is to try to live out the best version of ourselves through loving kindness.  —- What are your thoughts? Like always, I'd love to hear what you think. How do you keep it on the positive? Just hit reply and say hello. 

As I get my tent and sleeping ready for a kirtan festival I'm attending this weekend, I'd like to break down a few of the concepts I explored this week.   Here's the weekly wrap up. If you just tuned in for the first time, make sure to check on the past four episodes to see the longer version of these concepts.   Or there are some people who don't have 10 minutes in their day, so they only tune in on Fridays. That's cool with me. So, for those crunched for time, here's four purpose-filled boosts to live more intentionally and connect the dots.   Surfing and Mindfulness   There's a lot we can all learn from surfers. The next time you're near the ocean or have some time to Youtube, watch surfers. They're often ridiculously happy.    This is what they know: - To be grateful for when a wave comes - To celebrate your friends when they ride their own wave and you have to sit on the sidelines and cheer them all. I know that when I was trying to make it into the New York City personal training circuit and landed a really good job at an elite facility in Chelsea, Manhattan, one of my fellow trainers literally said to me in terms of getting customers: “You eat what you kill. It's a dog eat dog world, man.”    I for one completely disagree and don't even want to play that game.   Let's build each other up instead of knock each other down   - Your wave will come. And it will end. Know that this is living and be grateful that you are living instead of just existing.   Trust in Discovery   I know I need to get better at trusting in discovery. Trusting in God, the universe, or whatever form of higher power you believe in. Like Steve Jobs said, you can't connect the dots looking forward and plan all you want, that doesn't mean you can connect your future dots.    We all need to trust in walking forward.    My buddy Tyson Adams knew this when found himself in the middle of Laos. He build a coffee shop where there had never been one and in the middle of a third world community, he took the money made from the coffee shop to build schools.   Somehow Tyson discovered Coconut Oil and that led to his latest path. But don't take my word for it. Let's listen to the man himself.   enter tyson   Be Unconventional    Finding your purpose is not about looking outside you. It's about looking deep within, far deeper than most people ever look. Looking deep inside of who you really are is one of the scariest things we can do.   But in doing so, we are more easily able to place our feet in the right direction. The unconventional ways I explored on episode 46 include The Gene Keys which helps us discover the hidden purpose in our DNA, Ayahuasca, Meditation, and Pursuing an outwardly quest that peeks inward.    Unplugging   I feel like such a hypocrite whenever I talk about unplugging. Because I'm terrible at it. Some days I still find myself checking social media first thing in the morning because it helps me wake up before 5AM when my alarm goes off. The bright light wakes me up. But I know it's not healthy to look at social media in the morning. It's actually a terrible way to wake up. When I met Arianna Huffington, she told the group I was with that she doesn't allow any technology in the bedroom.   Well, I'm no Arianna Huffington (yet, at least), but I do hope to one day master this skill.   Pursuing Your Quest   Isn't it ironic that pursuing an outwardly quest like hiking around the world gives us the deepest peek inside of ourselves.   Chris Guillebeau showed me how pursuing a quest — not finishing a quest — is where you live your life on purpose. In a quest you're not only challenging yourself. You're  learning every day. You're growing every day. You're failing every day. But you're motivated as all heck to keep on going.   ---   All right, well that does it for this week's wrap up. I hope you got a lot out of it. As for me, I'm super excited to unplug and sleep under the stars at Omega Institute where I'll get to join others in an ecstatic chant with Krishna Das, Ram Dass, and Jai Uttal. This is a new experience for me and I'm curious, thrilled, and a bit scared at what to expect.     For one thing, we sing from 8 pm till 5:30 in the morning. I have no idea how I am going to stay up, but excited to feel the power of kirtan: a spiritual call and response kind of singing that, like meditation, helps a person find the ecstatic beauty in the present. 

 5 Reasons to Unplug  The crimson Costa Rican sun dipped beneath cerulean blue Pacific as I peered out from the yoga studio atop Blue Spirit mindfulness center in Nosara, Costa Rica.  Perched high on a cliff, I flexed by quadricep and stood firm in Warrior Two in this yoga studio that looks like a bird's next nestled atop a jungle canopy.  Howler monkeys screamed through the air and birds of paradise soared at my eye level -- majestic and graceful in their freedom.  Time seemed to stand still and it felt like an endless summer.  How I came to find myself at Blue Spirit on a yoga retreat is a story for another time, but there I was in a yoga retreat led by Amy Dannheim and Dawn Feinberg: two hardcore and loving yoginis from Miami.  I came to Blue Spirit, not to vacation, but rather to level up my life. The word “vacation” burns my vocal chords. It's acid for my soul. I don't believe in vacations. I don't want to vacate my life. I want to enhance my life.  And unplugging for a week on this endless summer retreat did the trick. I unplugged (mostly...I'll explain later), and here is what I learned.  5 Reasons to Unplug (at least for a week) Time Slows Down I had just sat down for breakfast after another morning surf session and had a moment where I didn't know what day it was. After just three days of no tv, no internet, and no phone calls, time felt like it was stuck in molasses.  My days felt longer and each day felt like three: the morning, day, and night.  By the time I went to bed, I felt such a rush of joy as I counted all the things I was grateful for that day.  Writing (on paper), meditation, yoga practice, and meaningful conversations replaced TV and Internet. Never was I a passive observer of my day. I spent every minute intentionally and with awareness.  Time is our most valuable currency. It's worth far more than money or possessions.  You (re) Connect to Nature It's so easy to get caught up in the rat race. I need to buy this, I need to complete this task, I need to fulfill this level of responsibility, I need to see this movie, and so on.  Instead of watching my computer screen or the television, I watched the ants crawl up the tree trunk. An iguana who I affectionately named Eddie, meandered through the thick brush outside my nature studio. Hummingbirds hovered over flowers of paradise and drank their nectar. Eddie and I even had a moment. He hobbled over to a small trickle of water and took a slurp then looked at me. So I took a slurp from my water bottle. We nodded to each other and then he went on his merry way. As much as we don't like to admit it, we're animals. We're right there on the food chain, catalogued in the animal kingdom with animals like Eddie.  We may have opposable thumbs and the ability to phonetically create a sophisticated language, but at our roots and beyond our smartphones, we need food and water just like Eddie does. Because we shop at massive supermarkets and never pick our fruits and vegetables or slaughter our meat, it's easy to forget this. We depend on nature to supply our needs just like Eddie does. You Learn to Think on Your Own In a world where a drive to pick up mom to go to a coffee shop takes you by billboards and mass media marketing, it's nearly impossible to ignore the messaging we received and are inundated with on a regular basis.  Unplugging separates you, at least digitally, from being exposed to the many messages that like to tell us what to believe in, who to vote for, and what pill we should take to be thinner, happier, sexier, or have less pain.  Jean Kilbourne, creator of the documentary series Killing Us Softly which explores the effect of marketing messages on adolescent women, famously shared that she is often told by people that they are not affected by marketing. When Jean looks at them though, they are often wearing something like a Gap t-shirt.  You (re) Learn to Have Deep Conversations   We're living a beautifully connected world that allows for anyone to connect from the four corners of the world. But as much as we are connected, we're perhaps even more disconnected than ever before. It's too easy to not invest in a deep and meaningful conversation. When a conversation gets awkward, it's far easier to move on to a new tweet, Snapchat, Periscope, Facebook, or Instagram post.  160 characters is a lot less stressful than 30 minutes of eye contact.  Deep and meaningful conversations help us as humans connect to one another and learn more about the human experience. They go deeper than a Facebook timeline which only posts the happy moments in life. They dive into the soul.  And the human soul is quite a beautiful thing.  By Subtracting, You Add So Much More to Your Life By subtracting the things that don't matter in your life, you add so much for to your life. But it's tough to really tell what doesn't matter in our lives when we're in the midst of our daily, weekly, and yearly rituals.  There's always something to do or someone to take care of that makes it difficult to really focus on what you need.  I'm no luddite as I love this beautifully connected world we live in, but just because an ad tells me I need the next new thing, that doesn't mean that a new gadget will add anything of value to my life. With the time to really sit down and reflect on my own, I was able to answer this question that I now share with you: Are you living or just existing? To live is not to collect things or scroll through Twitter. To live is to engage in experiences and suck out of the marrow in life as Thoreau would have put it.  ---   But this is just my opinion and I'd love to hear yours. You can reach out to me at mark@yourlop.com or leave a comment below. 

  5 Unconventional Ways to Find Your Purpose   Joseph Campbell reminds us that if we follow our own bliss, doors will open that will lead us down our path on purpose. He said, “When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.”   But you can't find your purpose. It's not out there. Your purpose has been with you all along. It's deep inside you.   To help you unlock the potential inside of you, here are five unconventional ways to find your purpose. They stem from ancient wisdom and modern science and they all have one thing in common. It's not so much what's outside of you, but how to unlock what's already inside of you. Past-Life Regressions   After graduating from Yale, Dr. Brian Weiss began his psychotherapy practice. However, through using hypnosis to help his patients unlock repressed memories, he found that his patients began speaking about realities that were very different from the present one they lived in.   Under hypnosis, patients would speak about being a different gender or race along with the odd ability to speak languages the present-day patient did not know. They even spoke in detail about past-life trauma which Dr. Weiss argues has helped many patients overcome present-life trauma.   While all of this can quickly be brushed off as non-scientific nonsense, modern-day connections with the Internet allow patients who practice past-life regressions to actually research and look up the visions they have while under hypnosis.   The language that one would speak under hypnosis would actually be an ancient language. Buildings and structures that a patient may envision would actually exist in present time. Some patients have even contacted present-day family members and shared intimate family secrets after experiencing a past-life as their ancestor.   Dr. Weiss explains that experiencing past-life regressions allow a person to understand the lessons they learned in their past lives. And through these lessons, a person can deepen their understanding of what they are meant to learn right here, right now, in the present life.   2. Meditation   Yes. Meditation. It's not just for grounding and calming. It's for centering and understanding who you are as a being. It's for digging deep into your inner pysche. A daily meditation practice helps one recognize their thought patterns. They learn to identify what is serving them, what is clearly not and how to live more in the present. After establishing a steady practice, practitioners take the lessons learned in meditation into their daily lives. Side effects include having less water-cooler conversations and more meaningful dialogue along with living your life on purpose. The conversations you choose to have and the actions you choose to take will be more intentional.     As Pema Chodron reminds us, “Meditation is a work in progress, a process of uncovering our natural openness, uncovering our natural intelligence and warmth.”   3. Ayahuasca Deep in the heart of the Amazon lies a spirit vine that has caught the attention of medical researchers, shamans, and spiritual seekers for centuries. Known affectionately as plant medicine, Ayahuasca has been known to take participants on a deep introspective experience.   Through this psychedelic discovery, many have claimed Ayahuasca to be exponentially more effective than traditional psychotherapy. Michael Sanders, author of Ayahuasca: An Executive's Enlightenment says that many Westerners have called Ayahuasca “30 years of psychotherapy in a cup.”   Here's a bit of what Michael had to say when we sat down to chat about his book:   One seed of advice. Be very careful and research where you choose to have an Ayahusaca experience, says Jeffrey Slayter, founder of The Grand Initiative which takes high-level influencers on an Ayahuasca experience to deepen their understanding of the self, unleash dormant creativity, and further connect one to the planet.   Here is a list of resources to find a safe facility for Ayahuasca, says Jeffrey Slayter.   4. Gene Keys   Richard Rudd, author of Gene Keys, dives deep into ancient wisdom to help people discover the hidden purpose that lies in our DNA.   Rudd explains that The Gene Keys help to “shed light on your deepest potential by helping you to embrace your shadows and recognize your gifts.” You learn your strengths, your weaknesses, and learn how to effectively harness your ability to live extraordinarily.   Through this heightened level of awareness, a person can confidently walk down their independent path. So often we just need to get out of our own way and Rudd provides one avenue to unleash our creative potential..   5. Pursuing a Quest   Chris Guillebeau explains that a quest is not so much an external discovery, but rather an internal heroic journey.   In his book, The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life, Guillebeau shares the stories of people he has met on his personal quest of traveling to every country in the world. All the stories entail the journey one takes on their personal quest: the hardships, the breakthroughs, and the lessons one learns when they embark on their heroic journey. Many questers start out seeking an external answer, but what many find out, however, is that their quest for their holy grail (so to speak) has taught them more about themselves than anything else. Through a quest, you face your deepest fears and realize that you are capable of far more than you can imagine.   --   The truth is, now that you can learn anything, you can be anything you want to. It's a beautiful time to be alive and a perfect time for you to walk your own heroic path.   Of course, there are more ways one could deepen their purpose, and in case these unconventional ways don't fancy your interest, try this one:   Complete this sentence as many times as you can.   My purpose is ________.   Write as many sentences as possible and tweak the words. When you cry or feel a deep surge of fear that says “You can't do that!”....that's when you found your current purpose. Like always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave them as a comment below or reach out to me on email at mark@y ourlop.com.

Sometimes there are moments in our lives that force us to redefine ourselves. A concrete wall can -- at times -- pop up just as we are joyfully walking down our heroic journeys. And man....can this be frustrating or what? Today I'm thinking about Redefining You and would like to share three tips to help you define yourself.  Today's mantra: “Trust in discovery. Be open to where your feet will land next."  Whenever a concrete wall pops up in our lives, look carefully at the wall. If you look close, there's often a little arrow sketched into the wall pointing us in another (and often times more beautiful) direction.  Or a beautiful new person meets you at the wall and takes you down a new path for a short time. Or sometimes you can pull out your waist belt grappling hook and haul yourself over that wall if it's not too high (childhood Batman fantasy anyone?). But when you can't climb that wall, here are three tips to become aware of your new direction. 1. Stop Carrying So Much Tim O'Brien has a beautiful book called The Things They Carried. It's a brilliant look into what the soldiers in the Vietnam War carried with them both physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Many of the story's characters struggled to move forward in their lives until they learned to stop carrying so much.  The art of letting go is not easy. I stink at it.  As much as I pride myself on being a minimalist, I struggle to let go of things. I have gadgets, clothes, and other material things that I don't need, but can't for some reason donate to charity or recycle. I have childhood memories that still challenge my daily positive outlook in life. It's so hard to let go of these things, but by doing so they allow us to move forward in life.  I recently met a yogini who after a terrible breakup of a long-term relationship, moved from California to Costa Rica and unplugged herself from the digital world ten years ago: no tv, no internet. She told me how much she added to her life when she subtracted the things that didn't matter.  Open   I'm in the midst of redefining myself right now and honestly don't have a clear plan of where this all will lead to. But I know that I need to keep exploring. Almost all of the extraordinary people I've interviewed in my work have had this type of open mind when they choose to stride down their own heroic path.  Joseph Campbell reminds us of following our bliss on our own individual paths: “When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.” So I'm trusting in this openness.  Ten years ago I entered into the teaching profession because I wanted to transform education and redesign the high school learning experience. I struck a concrete wall and am burnt out on trying to transform education. So I moved on and shifted instead of continuing to walk into a concrete wall. Because, well, continuing to walk into a concrete wall hurts.  Five years ago I was on track for Team USA (and perhaps Olympic qualifying) in triathlon. Injuries and the unnecessary stress it put on ability to be a loving family member and husband forced me to redefine myself.  Concrete wall. Four years ago, my wife and I started our harrowing journey into persevering through chronic Lyme Disease that took my wife from running marathons to a wheelchair in just a few months.  Concrete wall.  My wife had to quit teaching because her body wouldn't allow her to do so. She redefined herself by writing her first YA fantasy novel and launching a boutique gemstone jewelry line that uses the healing properties of gemstones. (yes, I know...I'm a lucky guy ;) Three years ago, I launched my writing career and started interviewing some of the greatest minds of our time.  Since launching Your Life on Purpose two months ago, I've had over one hundred people reach out to via email to share their love and appreciation. Over 50,000 people have tuned in.  And when I took The Purpose Manifesto message to my writing, my writing career has sky-rocketed. Over 10,000 people have read my recent articles on Elephant Journal.  Anne Lamott said, “Don't look at your feet to see if you're doing it right. Just dance.” And so, I'm putting on my dancing shoes.  You with me? Words...Words...Words   We're a social species. On my LinkedIn profile, I use to have “Storytelling Animal” as my job title. In other words, I was calling myself “human.” But, I think only a few people got the joke.  After landing an interview at Apple headquarters in 2014, Apple flew me to Cupertino to sit down with the executive team.  One of the many incredible executives there told me that he didn't quite get “Storytelling Animal”. It sort of made me come off as an arrogant marketing guy who is such an animal at spreading a message. Whoops. We are a storytelling species. If you were to tap into your primal roots, you'd remember the days of sitting around the fire and sharing stories.  But that doesn't mean we're good at communicating effectively.  Sometimes our message can get so easily constipated and misinterpreted. Like the caveman, I sometimes grunt when I need to learn to use the correct words.  That's why I love languages. If I had one superpower in the world, it would be to be able to speak every language in the world (or universe). Discovering new words and developing deeper semantics allow us to create new realms of understanding and create new language, especially because our realities are constructed (says the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis) by the words we use to construct our reality.  New words -- new language --  can help us see the arrow that's scribbled on the concrete wall. It can even bridge new relationships and connect you to your tribe of people that will help you live extraordinary.   I'd love to hear from you and learn from your thoughts. 

Today I'd like to talk about surfing and what it can teach us about living our lives on purpose.   I had not surfed in ten years and eagerly looked forward to getting up at 4:30 in the morning to surf dawn patrol in Costa Rica.   Little did I know that I'd see all the lessons I've been learning in meditation unfold before me in the white foam of heavy surf.   As I float out there in the Pacific Ocean and watched the Costa Rican sunrise, I started to think about what we can learn from surfing and how it could influence our happiness and productivity regardless of whether or not you catch a wave.   So, today I'd like to break down six tips we can learn from surfers   1. Paddle Hard    One of the hardest things when surfing, especially if it's a beach break and not a point break, is busting through the white foamy surf. It looks easy but duck diving under an incoming wave or turtle rolling a long board takes some serious practice.    You have to learn technique and have to keep going.   So many people never make it beyond the break and get stuck in the tremulchious white water.    Keep pushing. There is calm water beyond the struggle. There is always a blue sky above the cloudy rain.   2. Practicing Gratuity    So many people think that surfing is all about catch the wave. It's not. It's about gratitude and practicing a grateful mindset. Floating out there in the blue water is absolutely stunning. Watching a sunrise or sunset is always memorable and meaningfulness regardless of how many you see.    Surfers know to be grateful for the beautiful nature and know to be grateful when there is surf.    3. Patience   Before I learned to surf, I always thought surfers caught waves all day. But the truth is, most surfers spend 80% of their time just floating there, waiting for a wave to come.    You don't have any control of whether or not a wave is going to come your way.   Yes, you could look at as much data as you want and analyze when the next swell will come, just like you could always analyze the data of you web traffic or create a business plan, but that doesn't mean a wave is going to come your way and conditions will be great.   You have to wait. You have to stay calm. You have to stay aware.    But when that wave comes, you have to fight like hell to catch it.   4. Now is the only present   Surfers know that when a wave comes, it's do or die. You fight like hell to catch the wave. You can't dwell on the past. You can't say there will be one next time. The time is now and you must catch that wave.    Fight to catch it.   5. Your wave will come. Cheer on your friends.    As a surfer, I love watching other people catch a wave. They may only be 50 feet from me and  I know that if I were 50 feet to the left, I would have caught that wave, but I'm so happy to watch my fellow surfers carve a beautiful wave.   Your wave will come and your friends will cheer you one. Instead of getting upset when people ride that wave you want to ride, choose to celebrate them. We all grow a lot stronger and live a bit higher when we build each other up instead of compete to stand up and push everyone down.    6. The Wave Will End   You know that feeling. We've all been there. It's where you are at the top of your game. Feeling like the king of the world. It's where you land that job. You get that promotion. He or she says yes to your proposal.    But you also know that other feeling. The other side. When you come down from that high.    It's great to enjoy the happiness of a win, but not so much fun to stay in the doldrom of defeat. Instead of getting caught up in emotions, recognize when an emotion arises and intentionally choose to either accept it or let it pass. Regardless, know that the teeter totter will come back. Your wave will end.   That's only natural.   And when your wave ends, you may be back at square one — having to fight through the incredible white water surf of struggle.    The wave will end and you will fight again to get back out there. And another wave will come.    Enjoy it while it lasts. Indulge in it. Tell stories forever about the waves you rode. But know that just because a wave ends doesn't mean there isn't another one waiting out there for you.      So, what story could you share? When have you rode a wave? Pretend we are at a campfire and you just have to tell me this story. I'd love to hear it.

Okay — a lot of awesomeness this week. But I'll tell you, it's really hard coming back juggling work and responsibilities after spending an entire week at a mindfulness center focusing on building long-term mindfulness practices.    I don't like vacations because I don't have a life I want to vacate from. I have a life I want to enhance, so throughout the year I invest in myself to learn about something new, whether that's a new skill or a deep practice.   Spending a week focusing on mindfulness helps me practice mindfulness in my daily life. That doesn't mean it's easy, but what it does is it gives me a reflecting diving board. It forces me to readjust and think anew about what's important and reprioritize my life.   It forces me to really think about how I'm spending my time. It always gets me to really think about what words am I choosing to say and what actions I choose to act upon.    So, this week reflects a few of the thoughts that have been on my mind since coming back from Blue Spirit in Costa Rica.    1. Wasting Time   It's incredible to me how time works. Some moments in our lives are as quick as a gust of air and other moments can freeze in place for a lifetime.    Joseph Campbell reminds us that we must give up the life we have planned in order to experience the life that is waiting for us.   So, as I look at my life plan and see my dream board that's posted on my office wall, I need to realize that those destinations are not nearly as important as the journey I'm on right now.   And if they don't come true, that's okay. Because something far greater could come true, something beyond what we could even imagine right now.   2. Mindful Writing   I've identified three writing prompts that could help one be more mindful.  It helps a person discover their surrounding and often sparks beautiful creativity.   1. The Beat Word Sketch   Call upon your inner Miles Davis and write with a jazz beat that quickly takes in your surrounding and describes your sensory experience.    2. Focus Freewrite    - Choose a prompting question and then run with it, then train the brain to recognize when the mind has wandered of it's focus.   3. Straight up journaling that may just be what Anne Lamott calls your shitty first draft. It's just catharsis splattered with ink. Kind of like if Oprah and Jackson Pollock were to have made a painting.   3. Your Unfair Advantage   My buddy Scott does a great job of breaking down the six traits to find your unfair advantage.     Experience Skill Tallent Knowledge Character Connections   Finding your unfair advantage is not so much about taking advantage of people, but rather the unique gift that you can offer which no one else in the world can.   It's your art and it's freaking beautiful. Let it shine.   4, Finding Genius    We're all geniuses in some way, but not everyone finds it.   To find it, you need to look beyond what the classroom and school typically asked of you. Genius isn't about memorizing data or performing a task faster than everyone else. It's not found in a test.     Genius, on the other hand, can be broken down into two separate tracks Genius 1 is better, stronger, or faster than anyone else and Genius 2 thinks so differently that society can't do anything else but turn their heads in awe.