Snide podcasts

Big Dirk and the Tiny Blonde: Part 4

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2025

If sex is a weapon then love is a double homicide.By kittybeaver, in 5 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. "Start with the bookshelves." She pointed to the wall next to the fireplace. "Remember, we're looking for a bullet hole or an opening a gun could've been fired through."Tina turned her attention to the wall in front of her, moving her scanner methodically over the wood paneling and around the ornately framed oil paintings. It was her educated guess that the murderer had been in the neighboring office and drilled a hole in the wall."These are some fancy books," Dirk said. Tina looked over her shoulder and saw his head tilted sideways as he read the spines. "They're all hardcovers and absolutely no Harry Potter.""Don't worry about the books." She took one of the paintings off the wall and scanned behind it. "We're looking for something abnormal, something that's just slightly off.""There's something off with the bookshelves," Fact-Tel announced."I knew it," Dirk said. "Who doesn't, at the very least, have Sorcerer's Stone?"Tina placed the painting back on its hook and crossed to the other side of the room. "What did you find, Fact-Tel?""Should I have said Philosopher's Stone?" Dirk asked. "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, that's the metric title, right?""They're not real books," the A.I. said, ignoring Dirk. "It's a false bookcase. The scans are picking up a hollow space behind them.""That is so cool," Dirk said. "What do you think's back there? Pirate's treasure? Porno magazines?"Tina ran her hand around the edge of the bookcase, searching for hinges or a hidden lever. "City Hall is over a hundred years old. It's rumored there are secret passages all through the building, from the base of the Matthias Middle statue on top of the clock tower to the top of that clock statue containing Matthias Middle's bones in the sub-basement. This could be how the killer gained access to the office." She stretched her arm up as far as she could, but even in her high heel boots she couldn't reach the top shelf. "Dirk, feel along the top with your hand. See if you can find a button or something that will open the bookcase."She watched him carefully as he reached his arm up, noting how his T-shirt rode up to reveal his flat stomach and that wispy line of hair that ran from his belly button down into his snug fitting jeans. It was a surprise to feel her tongue peeking out of her mouth and running along her upper lip, as if it too wanted to catch a glimpse of Dirk Allen's happy trail. It seemed every part of her body was proud of his physique.Tina quickly turned, averting the gaze of both her eyes and tongue. "Fact-Tel, how large is the space behind the bookcase?" 'Proud' wasn't the right word for what she felt and she knew it. She needed to stop lying to herself. Her physical attraction to Dirk was a problem, but not nearly as big a problem as her emotional attraction to him. "Could a person conceal themselves there?""Definitely," the computer responded. "If I can analyze the dust and air particles in the space I might be able to tell if someone's been in there recently.""I found something!" Dirk was so excited he nearly shouted. Both his arms were stretched way above his head, his fingers curling over the top edge of the bookcase."Is it a button?" Tina asked, remembering to keep her voice low. "Press it.""Ok." Dirk's hand pressed down, then he took a quick step back.A rumbling noise emerged from the shelves and they started to slide sideways. A dark space appeared, approximately three feet, or rather, Tina reminded herself, .0914 meters wide."Good job." She looked up into Dirk's pale green eyes and gave him another smile. He had such pretty eyes. They contrasted nicely with his dark hair and full, masculine lips. The better Tina got to know Dirk the more attractive he grew. And he was fucking gorgeous when she first met him. It was disturbing, to say the least. Increased physical attraction toward an individual was one of the first signs of,Tina swallowed. She didn't even want to think the words.Increased physical attraction toward an individual was one of the first signs of falling in love.According to SWSO rule #96, secret agents were only allowed to experience three types of love: love of country, love of duty and love of sacrifice. Any other love could be used as a weapon against an agent. It had taken Tina years of therapy to reduce her familial love to an ambivalent indifference. Now, if some deranged villain made her choose between saving the world or saving her parents, she'd make the right choice without regret. Goodbye Mr. and Mrs. Blondell. You died for a good cause.Romantic love was the most dangerous and that was the direction Tina's feelings for Dirk might be heading. The intense romantic bond had to be avoided at all costs. It caused people to lie, steal, or, even worse, wear matching outfits to company picnics. She'd seen it happen too many times before and she had vowed never to let it happen to her.Love, in its essence, was a release of oxytocin in the brain. Every time she engaged in sexual intercourse with Dirk, every time he gave her another mind blowing orgasm, her brain released more oxytocin, conditioning her to feel love and affection for her coworker. As much as she wanted to invite him into her bed and ride him like a wild mustang, she couldn't do it. More sex meant more oxytocin. They couldn't have sex ever again, even if the job required it.Pushing those thoughts from her mind, she pulled her SWSO issued flashlight from her purse and peered into the void. Her beam of light fell on a small, but comfortable looking recliner, a stack of magazines, a box of tissues and a pump bottle of lotion.Dirk reached down and snatched a magazine from the top of the pile. "What do you know, it is porn. The murderer must have planned to wait a long time." He held the magazine sideways so that the centerfold flipped down. "Nice."Tina moved quickly and picked up the next magazine from the pile. While a woman graced the cover Dirk was holding, a man stared back from the one in Tina's hands. There was no mistaking his pretty, green eyes, dark hair and plump, manly lips. Dirk had worked as a model for years before joining the SWSO. It was possible he could have done a risqué photo shoot.It only took a second to open the magazine and look inside. Yep, it was him. She recognized that cock."Get a load of this, Fact-Tel." Dirk was holding his scanner over the magazine. "Tell me that's not DNA.""General Zero." Tina barely breathed the words. Could it be? Might they finally have some evidence that would help them track down their nemesis?"Nope," Fact-Tel said. "That's Appleton's spew.""What?" It almost felt like Tina's heart was breaking."Chesterfield Appleton," the A.I. continued, "Middleburg City Comptroller. The person whose office you're standing in. He's the one who ejaculated onto Miss February's mammary glands.""That makes no sense." Dirk dropped the magazine back onto the pile, while Tina surreptitiously rolled hers up and slipped it into her purse. "Why would Appleton hide for hours just to shoot himself?""I find no evidence of a firearm," Fact-Tel said. "No bullet casings or gunpowder residue.""The murderer was never behind the bookcase." Tina sighed. She knew it when she first saw the magazines, but she didn't want to believe it. Linking Zero to the murders was her top priority. The sooner she did it, the sooner she could put the criminal mastermind behind bars.Her feet felt heavy as she crossed the room to the fireplace, careful to step over the cadaver outlines. She ran her fingers over the intricate wood carvings in the mantelpiece. The winged cherubs holding satchels of money, seemed to mock her with their smiling faces."We're back where we started.""We know some things," Dirk said, his voice a little too perky. It was obvious he was trying to cheer her up. "We know Appleton was a horn dog with a rub cubby at work. We know he was doing the nasty with Snide.""Ugh, biologicals and your need to touch genitals," Fact-Tel muttered. "It's so gross.""It's too bad good old, smut aficionado Chesterfield didn't make his own pornos," Dirk said. "If he'd recorded schtupping Snide, then maybe he'd have recorded the murderer too."Tina looked up at the mirror over the fireplace. The whole room was visible behind her. There was Appletons's massive, wooden desk, the bay windows that looked out over City Hall Plaza, and over by the bookcase stood Dirk looking good in his tight pants and T-shirt. From this vantage point she could see everything."Maybe he did film it." Pointing her scanner at a section of the mirror, she turned it on and counted to 100. "Fact-Tel, what's on the other side of the mirror? Is there a camera or something?""I hate to tell you this," the A.I. responded, "but it's just a wall.""No!" In her frustration, Tina threw the scanner down onto the plush, red carpet, letting her purse drop to the floor with it. "Why does this case have to be so frustrating?" She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "Why can't it just solve itself?""Relax," Dirk said. "You're trying too hard." He walked up behind her and placed his large, strong hands on her shoulders. "When I think too hard, I get a headache and then I can't think at all." His fingers and thumbs started to work the stiff muscles of her neck and back, digging into the knots of tension. "If I stop thinking, if I let it all go, Well, by the time the headache goes away, you've figured it all out and I don't have to think any more."The touch of his fingers felt good. It did relax her. It also made her horny as hell.Her eyes popped open. "That's it. We'll make our own movie.""What?" Dirk's hands dropped to his side and he took a step backwards.Tina spun around to face him. "We're going to reenact the crime."He glanced down at the cadaver outlines taped on the rug and then back at her. "You mean, " He tugged at the collar of his T-shirt. "You mean, we're going to have sex?"Tina was excited. The little shadows her erect nipples cast on her blouse made that obvious. And Tina's excitement was infectious. It made parts of Dirk's body get erect too. But he couldn't have sex with her, not again.Not that he didn't want to, because he did. He couldn't spend a minute in her presence without fantasizing about lifting her skirt and pulling down her panties. He thought about bending her over the desk and taking her from behind. But the truth was, he didn't want to just have sex. He wanted to make love to her.He wanted to undress her slowly, surrounded by the warm glow of candlelight and soft jazz playing in the background. He wanted to lay her down on a bed scattered with rose petals and take his time kissing every inch of her gorgeous body. He wanted to sink into her slowly, moaning her name as she whimpered how much she loved him. They would become one, both body and soul. It would be so beautiful, they'd climax together with tears in their eyes.Dirk wanted to make a baby with Tina. He'd never had a pregnancy kink before, but the other night he'd rubbed one out while thinking about fertilization. It was freaking him the fuck out. If he was going to get past this, past his obsession with his work supervisor, he'd have to go cold turkey and not have sex with her ever again."We're going to have sex?" he asked."No." Tina smiled awkwardly. "Of course not. No."Dirk wasn't sure if he felt relief or disappointment. "But we're reenacting the murder."She nodded. "The moments that led up to the murder, yes.""And in the moments leading up to the murder," he said, his eyes dropping once more to the body outlines taped on the rug, "Appleton and Snide were having sex."Tina laughed nervously and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Sure, but there's no need for us to actually, do, you know, that. Not this time.""You're not going to touch genitals?" Fact-Tel asked."No." She laughed louder. "We're just going to go through the motions.""Oh." Dirk definitely felt disappointed. "Like an old married couple.""Exactly." Tina gave him a friendly, little punch on the side of his arm. Then she patted him in the same spot, gently squeezing his biceps. A dreamy look flitted across her eyes and her lips curved into a half smile. "That's nice.""What?" Dirk wasn't sure what was going on."What?" She dropped her hand to her side and took a step back. "I'm sorry. What?""You're reenacting the murder," Fact-Tel reminded them."Of course we are. I'll be Sylvestra Snide." Tina walked to one of the cadaver outlines and carefully placed her feet on top of the outline's feet. "She was standing here with her panties around her ankles." Then she reached up her skirt and wiggled her hips until her underpants slipped down her legs.All Dirk could do for a moment or so was stare at the silky blue with yellow polka dots fabric resting on the tops of her boots. He had recently come to the conclusion that women's panties were like the cover to a really good book. He just wanted to open it and bury his nose in the tight prose inside. Tina's book, of course, he'd red before, but, as with all the classics, it was worth going back to again and again."You're Chesterfield Appleton," Tina said, her voice super cheery, much more cheery than the reenactment of a brutal crime called for. "He was standing there." She pointed to the other cadaver outline. "And he had his pants and underpants around his ankles.""Oh. Ok." Dirk took his place near her and unzipped his fly."You can leave your boxers on." Her eyes drifted down to his underwear. "Boxer briefs. Snug, black, boxer briefs. Those look good on you.""Thanks." He wasn't sure what else to say.She blinked a couple times, then looked up to meet his gaze. "Leave them on. No reason to take them off since we're probably just going to dry hump.""Oh." That didn't sound so bad. "Like Catholic high school students.""Exactly." She turned, so that her back was to Dirk. "This is the general area they were in when they were shot. When they fell, the force of the bullets probably knocked them back a few steps. So we have to figure out where they were at the moment right before they were shot.""The fireplace." Dirk, his jeans still around his ankles, shuffled forward a few paces. "They were probably watching themselves in the mirror.""Oh sure." Tina shuffled forward too and placed her hands on the mantelpiece, one hand resting on a cherub's face, the other on a bag of money. "Snide would have stood here.""And Appleton would have been here." Dirk took his place behind her and grabbed onto her hips, which were way lower than he had expected. "We do not line up. Not at all."He'd known Tina was short, that was obvious from the first time they met. He just hadn't realized how much shorter she was than him. Even with her high heels on, if they were actually going to have sex, he'd be fucking the small of her back.Had they never done it standing up before? He tried to think back to all the times they'd had to have sex for work. They must have done it standing up for at least one of them. When the safety of the general public was at stake, one didn't usually have the luxury of lying down. They had done it bent over a table like surface. Dirk must have been bending his knees more than he was aware of at the time.Oh wait. They had done it standing up, but face to face. He'd lifted Tina and she'd wrapped her legs around him before he nailed her to the wall. That was a good one, ve

Big Dirk and the Tiny Blonde: Part 3

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2025

Doing it Cold War style.By kittybeaver, in 5 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels. It was difficult for Dirk to pretend he wasn't having sex. Tina's cunt felt so good. He wanted to close his eyes, shut out the rest of the universe, and just experience it."Adjust left," Fact-Tel said. "Left, you malfunctioning flesh machine, left."Dirk made the adjustment while Tina whimpered, "I love it, I love it."Behind them the banging grew louder. There was also the sound of an occasional laugh or a "Whoa, cool." Dirk had to bring Tina to orgasm before the Doopherilians broke into the control room."Now you're drifting down," Fact-Tel said. "Pull up on the interfaces just a tiny bit."Dirk tugged on the steering sticks with all the subtle nuance of a man fucking his hot coworker."Too much!" Fact-Tel cried. "You're wildly off course. Push down and try to do it right this time."Tina's breath came in short, shallow pants. Her ass undulated against Dirk at a faster and faster rate. "Oh baby, yes!"This was harder than Dirk ever thought it would be. He dug his teeth into his lower lip and resisted the urge to thrust. Instead he gently pushed on the steering sticks, which wasn't nearly as satisfying."I'm cumming," Tina moaned, "oh God, I'm cumming."At the same moment the Doopherinians broke through the door and the chair jamming it shut. Dirk could imagine what they saw; his arms stretched across the control panel, his bare ass hanging out, and Tina beneath him writhing with an uncontrolled fury."Stop them!" a silly alien voice shouted."Yes, yes, yes, I'm cumming!" Tina screamed. And then she did.Her back arched and her cunt squeezed his cock in a quick staccato rhythm. Dirk moaned. He was so desperate to cum too. He wouldn't be able to hold it much longer."That's the stuff," a Doopherilian said.Dirk glanced over his shoulder to see the little aliens fall like bowling pins when the orgasm hit them."Earth!" Tina said.He looked back at the view screen to see a blue dot growing bigger behind the yellow dot. They were almost home. He just had to hold it,"Fact-Tel, how much longer?""Two minutes before we hit Earth's atmosphere," the AI answered.Two minutes? Dirk couldn't hold it for another two minutes."Agent Blondell," Fact-Tel continued, "press the green button in the center of the console to initiate speed dampening thrusters. We need to slow the ship down.""Don't slow down," Dirk begged. "I need to cum.""You have to slow down," Fact-Tel said, "or this ship won't land as much as crater.""Pull out before you orgasm," Tina said. "I'm serious, do not ejaculate inside me or we'll have a whole other problem.""Must, sober, up." The Doopherilians were starting to stir. "Must, stop, human.""Oh no." Tina pushed her ass against Dirk, working herself up and down the length of his cock. "I have to orgasm again, but you can't," she said. "Got it?""No." Tears gathered in the corner of Dirk's eyes. His balls felt like they were going to explode."Get back on course!" Fact-Tel shouted. "You're going to hit the moon."How Dirk managed to steer around the moon, he couldn't say. All his concentration was now focused on not cumming. His face, he was sure, had to be a deep shade of red, his balls a bright blue. Every muscle in his body was straining to hold back the inevitable."When you enter the Earth's atmosphere, I'm going to count down from five," Fact-Tel explained. "When I say 'Hit it,' you'll have to pull up on the steering interfaces as hard as you can. You'll be fighting against the planet's gravity and it'll be a rough ride.""Mmmm, yeah." Tina rocked back and forth, working her way toward another orgasm. "That's what Mama likes.""Entering the atmosphere in three, two, "Fact-Tel was cut off abruptly and the whole ship jolted."Oh Fuck Yes!!" Tina screamed as another climax consumed her. The lucky bitch."Five," Fact-Tel started counting down, "Four, "There was no way the Doopherilians would recover from Tina's last orgasm, not before they were safely on Earth. There was no reason for Dirk to hold back any longer."Three, ""I'm going to do it," Dirk growled.Two, ""I'm going to cum.""One," Fact-Tel shouted. "Pull up! Pull up!""Pull out! Pull out!" Tina added.Dirk yanked back on the steering sticks, his cock slipping from Tina. When he shot his load it went airborne, over her head and landed in an arc across the view screen. It was a different kind of Milky Way.The ship hit water and bounced, skipping two or three more times before it came to rest with an impressive splash. Fortunately it stayed afloat. They were back home. Somewhat safe and sound."Fact-Tel." Tina rolled out from underneath Dirk, stood and pulled down her skirt. "Do you have our location?""Affirmative," the AI answered. "Sending rescue team now. Are the Doopherilians still a threat?"Dirk lay collapsed on top of the control panel. His heart pounded and he couldn't catch his breath. He didn't have the energy to pleasure Tina one more time. He almost hoped the Doopherilians would shoot him with their ray gun orbs. At least then he'd have an excuse to lie prone on the ground.He turned his head slightly to see Tina bending over one of the purple aliens. It, like the others, lay on the floor and stared up at nothing."They're no threat," he said. "They're still tripping.""No, they aren't." Tina looked grave. "They aren't breathing. I think they all overdosed.""What?" The jolt from the news gave Dirk enough energy to stand up. "They're dead?""Shit," Fact-Tel muttered as the ship gently bobbed up and down with the rolling waves. "That's a lot of forms I'll have to fill out.""Do you think the Doopherilian King will take this to the Universal Council of Supreme Beings?" Tina asked. "Are we in for another biblical flood?""Probably not," Fact-Tel said. "We'll most likely do what we did when something similar happened with the Martians."Dirk tucked his cock back into his jeans and zipped up his fly. "What was that?""We'll pay the Doopherilians off with opium," the AI explained. "I mean, that is what Earth is known for, best snack foods and narcotics in the galaxy."Dirk didn't mean to laugh, but the whole situation was so absurd he couldn't help it. He expected Tina to scold him for laughing at a tragic event, so it was a surprise to hear her light chuckles mix with his low belly laughs. Their eyes met across the room and the laughter grew between them.Tina got Dirk. She understood him in a way no woman had before. She got his sense of humor, his need to improve the world, his outlook on life. She was the human connection he didn't even know he'd been searching for. And he knew this moment of connection, of shared mirth, was a moment he'd remember for the rest of his life.But eventually, they both fell silent, stared at the death surrounding them and waited for the rescue boat to come.The breeze ruffled through Dirk's hair like the fingers of a lover. He smiled, enjoying the playful caresses along his scalp. He picked up his speed and the wind reciprocated. What had been flirting before was now full on foreplay.That was probably taking the metaphor too far. He was running really fast. It was kind of fun.Not long ago he'd been ashamed of his unique talents. That was when he'd made his living as a male model. The fashion industry prized men with tall, muscular bodies and facial features too bold to be feminine yet still very, very pretty. All of which Dirk Allen had. He also had the ability to run at near the speed of sound, pick up a car with one hand and hardly ever get tired. Those were not useful skills for a man whose job it was to stand still and look good, so he'd kept them hidden.That all changed when he changed his career. Now he was a secret agent in training. Tina, his partner as well as his mentor, said speed and strength and stamina were essential. The fact that he could run faster, lift more and stamina longer meant he had the makings of a legendary secret agent.It was possible, she had told him, that one day he'd be the second best agent in the SWSO. Tina Blondell was the best agent and she planned on keeping that position.At that moment, the position she was keeping was more of a fetal position. Dirk held her in his arms and tried his hardest not to grope her ass or her breasts. It would've been easier if he didn't have to think about where he couldn't touch her and just place his hands where they needed to be so that she wouldn't fall out of his arms.Not that Tina wasn't grope worthy, because she was. Her breasts filled a hand perfectly, with soft flesh to cushion one's fingers and pert nipples to poke one's palm. Her ass was round and bouncy and oh so wholesome. Dirk couldn't look at it without thinking about working the land.But it was inappropriate to think of her that way. They were coworkers and nothing more. Yes, he'd seen enough of Tina to know she wasn't a natural blonde, but that was work related. He had pleasured her orally and she'd given him a hand-job to save lives. For secret agents, the ends justified the means. They were prepared to do whatever it took, with whoever was handy, to protect the world. That's why, nowadays, Dirk made sure he had a condom on him. He'd feel awful if the world fell into the clutches of an evil despot simply because he was afraid of catching something.The jury was still out on whether General Zero was a global despot or simply a municipal annoyance. So much about Zero was a mystery, such as background, motive and preferred pronouns. It was impossible to predict what their next move would be. Tina and Dirk with the help of Fact-Tel, SWSO's mastermind computer, had managed to foil one plot, but Zero had escaped. It looked as though the villain had dodged justice, until now.In the wee hours of the morning, long before Dirk woke up (so like, around 9:30), Fact-Tel had intercepted a series of coded tweets. It'd taken the artificial intelligence nearly an hour to break the encryption but once it had, it presented Tina with the coordinates to Zero's hideout. Soon Dirk and Tina would capture Zero. The city of Middleburg would be safe once again.There was no doubt in Dirk's mind that he and Tina would succeed. How could they not? With his strength and speed and her intelligence they were unstoppable."Stop," Fact-Tel chirped in Dirk's ear. "You're going to run right past it."Dirk was still getting used to the earpiece that connected him to the A.I. at regional headquarters, but he did manage to slow down to a jog without stumbling."Fact-Tel," Tina said as she stirred in Dirk's arms. "Where are we exactly?" She was in the habit of shielding her face against his chest when he ran. The wind tended to dry out her contact lenses."This," Fact-Tel said with a touch of dramatic flair, "is the section of Middleburg known as Old Crap Town.""Of course." She slipped out of Dirk's grasp and looked around, taking in their surroundings. "I should've known by all the abandoned manure factories.""And the smell," Dirk added. "It smells like shit.""How close are we to the coordinates?" Tina asked."Turn left," the A.I. instructed, "about 20 degrees."Dirk put a hand on Tina's arm. "Let me do it," he said. "I'm a trained model. I know how to turn."It was perhaps the most perfect turn of his career. He pivoted on his heels in a smooth yet decisive manner. When he stopped he lifted his chin and struck a pose that showed off his body and, by extension, his clothes at a favorable angle. A tight, blue T-shirt and black jeans never looked so good."So the red, abandoned, poop factory?" Tina asked."Yeah," Fact-Tel confirmed. "The red one."Dirk followed his partner across the street to the massive and dilapidated building, keeping his eyes peeled for any signs of a sniper in the windows or booby traps in the trash scattered along the sidewalk. He'd trained the past few months for just this sort of situation.When they got to the double doors of the red manure factory, Tina reached behind her and pulled her gun from her holster.She owned a lot of guns and a lot of holsters and she had a knack for coordinating them with her outfits. There was a thigh holster for skirts that fell just above the knee. Or there was the back holster for ensembles like the one she was wearing today, gray slacks and a white spaghetti strap tank top. On rare occasions, when she wore a micro mini, she'd tuck her gun into her thigh high boots. That was Dirk's favorite. There was something about that outfit that made him want to surrender to Tina and then defile her. Of course, those sorts of thoughts fell into the inappropriate category, so he never thought them."Draw your weapon, Agent Allen," Tina whispered.

FFP2

Live at KHUM

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2024

TKTK

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24.269 | The Prudent Ignores An Insult | Prov 12:16-18 | God's Word for Today with Pastor Nazario Sinon

God’s Word For Today

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2024 9:24

Text: Prov 12:16-18 ESV 16 The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult. 17 Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit. 18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. - Prov 12:16-18 ESV THE PRUDENT IGNORES AN INSULT The fortitude of the prudent is his calmness. He restrains the show of anger. The fool, however, when annoyed loses control and goes out of control. The root cause is his selfish arrogance. The righteous controls his emotions. He does not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. This is the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal 5:22–23). The Lord Jesus is our example of self-control. According to Peter, He did not revile in return when He was reviled. Neither did He threaten others when He suffered. Instead, He "continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly" (1 Pet 2:23). Peter continues to write, "Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling…'whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.'"[1 Pet 3:9–11] As we move to verse 17, Solomon highlights once again the disparity of the righteous and wicked hearts. Honest people are honest, and liars lie. The person whose life is marked by natural, innate honesty gives trustworthy testimony (Mat 5:37). In contrast, the person who habitually lies can't be trusted, no matter what they say. Each person reveals his character by what he says. Having been filled by the Spirit, the apostles do speak the truth even when reprimanded. When the rulers, elders, and scribes commanded them not to speak or teach in Jesus' name, the apostles answered, "We cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard" (Acts 4:20). Furthermore, the wicked has sharp tongue. His rash words are like sword thrusts. These ‘rash words' involve speaking carelessly or thoughtlessly. There is a saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words, never!" This could be true in some extent but words can cause damage of their own. The tongue can either be used to hurt others or to heal their anxieties and sorrows (Prov 12:25). Unkind words can pierce the heart like sharp swords. Snide remarks, gossip, undue criticism, cursing, name-calling, and false accusations hurt people, and should not be spoken by believers (Col 4:6). Indeed, the prudent has the ability to control one's tongue. He will consider words carefully before speaking. This is a hallmark of godly wisdom (Prov 10:19; 11:12; 17:28; Jas 3:2, 5). Believers are going to use words to build one another up not to tear down. (Eph 4:29) Paul admonishes, "Be kind to one another" (Eph 4:32). A prudent person will control and use his tongue to encourage others (1 Thess 4:18; Heb 10:24). He ignores an insult and even overcomes such evil by saying something good and edifying. ------------------------- Visit and FOLLOW Gospel Light Filipino on YouTube, Facebook and Instagram

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Snide Remarks and Un-Parliamentary Debate

Nightlife

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 14:11

What are some hard and fast rules governing what our pollies can and can't say about their fellow MPs?

politics debate language politicians behaviour linguistics mps remarks parliamentary snide

Big Dirk and the Tiny Blonde: Part 4

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2024

If sex is a weapon then love is a double homicide.By kittybeaver, in 5 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.“Start with the bookshelves.” She pointed to the wall next to the fireplace. “Remember, we’re looking for a bullet hole or an opening a gun could’ve been fired through.”Tina turned her attention to the wall in front of her, moving her scanner methodically over the wood paneling and around the ornately framed oil paintings. It was her educated guess that the murderer had been in the neighboring office and drilled a hole in the wall.“These are some fancy books,” Dirk said. Tina looked over her shoulder and saw his head tilted sideways as he read the spines. “They’re all hardcovers and absolutely no Harry Potter.”“Don’t worry about the books.” She took one of the paintings off the wall and scanned behind it. “We’re looking for something abnormal, something that’s just slightly off.”“There’s something off with the bookshelves,” Fact-Tel announced.“I knew it,” Dirk said. “Who doesn’t, at the very least, have Sorcerer’s Stone?”Tina placed the painting back on its hook and crossed to the other side of the room. “What did you find, Fact-Tel?”“Should I have said Philosopher’s Stone?” Dirk asked. “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, that’s the metric title, right?”“They’re not real books,” the A.I. said, ignoring Dirk. “It’s a false bookcase. The scans are picking up a hollow space behind them.”“That is so cool,” Dirk said. “What do you think’s back there? Pirate’s treasure? Porno magazines?”Tina ran her hand around the edge of the bookcase, searching for hinges or a hidden lever. “City Hall is over a hundred years old. It’s rumored there are secret passages all through the building, from the base of the Matthias Middle statue on top of the clock tower to the top of that clock statue containing Matthias Middle’s bones in the sub-basement. This could be how the killer gained access to the office.” She stretched her arm up as far as she could, but even in her high heel boots she couldn’t reach the top shelf. “Dirk, feel along the top with your hand. See if you can find a button or something that will open the bookcase.”She watched him carefully as he reached his arm up, noting how his T-shirt rode up to reveal his flat stomach and that wispy line of hair that ran from his belly button down into his snug fitting jeans. It was a surprise to feel her tongue peeking out of her mouth and running along her upper lip, as if it too wanted to catch a glimpse of Dirk Allen’s happy trail. It seemed every part of her body was proud of his physique.Tina quickly turned, averting the gaze of both her eyes and tongue. “Fact-Tel, how large is the space behind the bookcase?” ‘Proud’ wasn’t the right word for what she felt and she knew it. She needed to stop lying to herself. Her physical attraction to Dirk was a problem, but not nearly as big a problem as her emotional attraction to him. “Could a person conceal themselves there?”“Definitely,” the computer responded. “If I can analyze the dust and air particles in the space I might be able to tell if someone’s been in there recently.”“I found something!” Dirk was so excited he nearly shouted. Both his arms were stretched way above his head, his fingers curling over the top edge of the bookcase.“Is it a button?” Tina asked, remembering to keep her voice low. “Press it.”“Ok.” Dirk’s hand pressed down, then he took a quick step back.A rumbling noise emerged from the shelves and they started to slide sideways. A dark space appeared, approximately three feet, or rather, Tina reminded herself, .0914 meters wide.“Good job.” She looked up into Dirk’s pale green eyes and gave him another smile. He had such pretty eyes. They contrasted nicely with his dark hair and full, masculine lips. The better Tina got to know Dirk the more attractive he grew. And he was fucking gorgeous when she first met him. It was disturbing, to say the least. Increased physical attraction toward an individual was one of the first signs of,Tina swallowed. She didn’t even want to think the words.Increased physical attraction toward an individual was one of the first signs of falling in love.According to SWSO rule #96, secret agents were only allowed to experience three types of love: love of country, love of duty and love of sacrifice. Any other love could be used as a weapon against an agent. It had taken Tina years of therapy to reduce her familial love to an ambivalent indifference. Now, if some deranged villain made her choose between saving the world or saving her parents, she’d make the right choice without regret. Goodbye Mr. and Mrs. Blondell. You died for a good cause.Romantic love was the most dangerous and that was the direction Tina’s feelings for Dirk might be heading. The intense romantic bond had to be avoided at all costs. It caused people to lie, steal, or, even worse, wear matching outfits to company picnics. She’d seen it happen too many times before and she had vowed never to let it happen to her.Love, in its essence, was a release of oxytocin in the brain. Every time she engaged in sexual intercourse with Dirk, every time he gave her another mind blowing orgasm, her brain released more oxytocin, conditioning her to feel love and affection for her coworker. As much as she wanted to invite him into her bed and ride him like a wild mustang, she couldn’t do it. More sex meant more oxytocin. They couldn’t have sex ever again, even if the job required it.Pushing those thoughts from her mind, she pulled her SWSO issued flashlight from her purse and peered into the void. Her beam of light fell on a small, but comfortable looking recliner, a stack of magazines, a box of tissues and a pump bottle of lotion.Dirk reached down and snatched a magazine from the top of the pile. “What do you know, it is porn. The murderer must have planned to wait a long time.” He held the magazine sideways so that the centerfold flipped down. “Nice.”Tina moved quickly and picked up the next magazine from the pile. While a woman graced the cover Dirk was holding, a man stared back from the one in Tina’s hands. There was no mistaking his pretty, green eyes, dark hair and plump, manly lips. Dirk had worked as a model for years before joining the SWSO. It was possible he could have done a risqué photo shoot.It only took a second to open the magazine and look inside. Yep, it was him. She recognized that cock.“Get a load of this, Fact-Tel.” Dirk was holding his scanner over the magazine. “Tell me that’s not DNA.”“General Zero.” Tina barely breathed the words. Could it be? Might they finally have some evidence that would help them track down their nemesis?“Nope,” Fact-Tel said. “That’s Appleton’s spew.”“What?” It almost felt like Tina’s heart was breaking.“Chesterfield Appleton,” the A.I. continued, “Middleburg City Comptroller. The person whose office you’re standing in. He’s the one who ejaculated onto Miss February’s mammary glands.”“That makes no sense.” Dirk dropped the magazine back onto the pile, while Tina surreptitiously rolled hers up and slipped it into her purse. “Why would Appleton hide for hours just to shoot himself?”“I find no evidence of a firearm,” Fact-Tel said. “No bullet casings or gunpowder residue.”“The murderer was never behind the bookcase.” Tina sighed. She knew it when she first saw the magazines, but she didn’t want to believe it. Linking Zero to the murders was her top priority. The sooner she did it, the sooner she could put the criminal mastermind behind bars.Her feet felt heavy as she crossed the room to the fireplace, careful to step over the cadaver outlines. She ran her fingers over the intricate wood carvings in the mantelpiece. The winged cherubs holding satchels of money, seemed to mock her with their smiling faces.“We’re back where we started.”“We know some things,” Dirk said, his voice a little too perky. It was obvious he was trying to cheer her up. “We know Appleton was a horn dog with a rub cubby at work. We know he was doing the nasty with Snide.”“Ugh, biologicals and your need to touch genitals,” Fact-Tel muttered. “It’s so gross.”“It’s too bad good old, smut aficionado Chesterfield didn’t make his own pornos,” Dirk said. “If he’d recorded schtupping Snide, then maybe he’d have recorded the murderer too.”Tina looked up at the mirror over the fireplace. The whole room was visible behind her. There was Appletons's massive, wooden desk, the bay windows that looked out over City Hall Plaza, and over by the bookcase stood Dirk looking good in his tight pants and T-shirt. From this vantage point she could see everything.“Maybe he did film it.” Pointing her scanner at a section of the mirror, she turned it on and counted to 100. “Fact-Tel, what’s on the other side of the mirror? Is there a camera or something?”“I hate to tell you this,” the A.I. responded, “but it’s just a wall.”“No!” In her frustration, Tina threw the scanner down onto the plush, red carpet, letting her purse drop to the floor with it. “Why does this case have to be so frustrating?” She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “Why can’t it just solve itself?”“Relax,” Dirk said. “You’re trying too hard.” He walked up behind her and placed his large, strong hands on her shoulders. “When I think too hard, I get a headache and then I can’t think at all.” His fingers and thumbs started to work the stiff muscles of her neck and back, digging into the knots of tension. “If I stop thinking, if I let it all go, Well, by the time the headache goes away, you’ve figured it all out and I don’t have to think any more.”The touch of his fingers felt good. It did relax her. It also made her horny as hell.Her eyes popped open. “That’s it. We’ll make our own movie.”“What?” Dirk’s hands dropped to his side and he took a step backwards.Tina spun around to face him. “We’re going to reenact the crime.”He glanced down at the cadaver outlines taped on the rug and then back at her. “You mean, ” He tugged at the collar of his T-shirt. “You mean, we’re going to have sex?”Tina was excited. The little shadows her erect nipples cast on her blouse made that obvious. And Tina’s excitement was infectious. It made parts of Dirk’s body get erect too. But he couldn’t have sex with her, not again.Not that he didn’t want to, because he did. He couldn’t spend a minute in her presence without fantasizing about lifting her skirt and pulling down her panties. He thought about bending her over the desk and taking her from behind. But the truth was, he didn’t want to just have sex. He wanted to make love to her.He wanted to undress her slowly, surrounded by the warm glow of candlelight and soft jazz playing in the background. He wanted to lay her down on a bed scattered with rose petals and take his time kissing every inch of her gorgeous body. He wanted to sink into her slowly, moaning her name as she whimpered how much she loved him. They would become one, both body and soul. It would be so beautiful, they’d climax together with tears in their eyes.Dirk wanted to make a baby with Tina. He’d never had a pregnancy kink before, but the other night he’d rubbed one out while thinking about fertilization. It was freaking him the fuck out. If he was going to get past this, past his obsession with his work supervisor, he’d have to go cold turkey and not have sex with her ever again.“We’re going to have sex?” he asked.“No.” Tina smiled awkwardly. “Of course not. No.”Dirk wasn’t sure if he felt relief or disappointment. “But we’re reenacting the murder.”She nodded. “The moments that led up to the murder, yes.”“And in the moments leading up to the murder,” he said, his eyes dropping once more to the body outlines taped on the rug, “Appleton and Snide were having sex.”Tina laughed nervously and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Sure, but there’s no need for us to actually, do, you know, that. Not this time.”“You’re not going to touch genitals?” Fact-Tel asked.“No.” She laughed louder. “We’re just going to go through the motions.”“Oh.” Dirk definitely felt disappointed. “Like an old married couple.”“Exactly.” Tina gave him a friendly, little punch on the side of his arm. Then she patted him in the same spot, gently squeezing his biceps. A dreamy look flitted across her eyes and her lips curved into a half smile. “That’s nice.”“What?” Dirk wasn’t sure what was going on.“What?” She dropped her hand to her side and took a step back. “I’m sorry. What?”“You’re reenacting the murder,” Fact-Tel reminded them.“Of course we are. I’ll be Sylvestra Snide.” Tina walked to one of the cadaver outlines and carefully placed her feet on top of the outline’s feet. “She was standing here with her panties around her ankles.” Then she reached up her skirt and wiggled her hips until her underpants slipped down her legs.All Dirk could do for a moment or so was stare at the silky blue with yellow polka dots fabric resting on the tops of her boots. He had recently come to the conclusion that women’s panties were like the cover to a really good book. He just wanted to open it and bury his nose in the tight prose inside. Tina’s book, of course, he’d red before, but, as with all the classics, it was worth going back to again and again.“You’re Chesterfield Appleton,” Tina said, her voice super cheery, much more cheery than the reenactment of a brutal crime called for. “He was standing there.” She pointed to the other cadaver outline. “And he had his pants and underpants around his ankles.”“Oh. Ok.” Dirk took his place near her and unzipped his fly.“You can leave your boxers on.” Her eyes drifted down to his underwear. “Boxer briefs. Snug, black, boxer briefs. Those look good on you.”“Thanks.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.She blinked a couple times, then looked up to meet his gaze. “Leave them on. No reason to take them off since we’re probably just going to dry hump.”“Oh.” That didn’t sound so bad. “Like Catholic high school students.”“Exactly.” She turned, so that her back was to Dirk. “This is the general area they were in when they were shot. When they fell, the force of the bullets probably knocked them back a few steps. So we have to figure out where they were at the moment right before they were shot.”“The fireplace.” Dirk, his jeans still around his ankles, shuffled forward a few paces. “They were probably watching themselves in the mirror.”“Oh sure.” Tina shuffled forward too and placed her hands on the mantelpiece, one hand resting on a cherub’s face, the other on a bag of money. “Snide would have stood here.”“And Appleton would have been here.” Dirk took his place behind her and grabbed onto her hips, which were way lower than he had expected. “We do not line up. Not at all.”He’d known Tina was short, that was obvious from the first time they met. He just hadn’t realized how much shorter she was than him. Even with her high heels on, if they were actually going to have sex, he’d be fucking the small of her back.Had they never done it standing up before? He tried to think back to all the times they’d had to have sex for work. They must have done it standing up for at least one of them. When the safety of the general public was at stake, one didn’t usually have the luxury of lying down. They had done it bent over a table like surface. Dirk must have been bending his knees more than he was aware of at the time.Oh wait. They had done it standing up, but face to face. He’d lifted Tina and she’d wrapped her legs around him before he nailed her to the wall. That was a good one, very memorable.“Sylvestra Snide was a few inches taller than me,” Tina said.“Don’t you mean centimeters?”“Right. Sorry.” It looked like she was blushing. “Snide was a few centimeters taller and Appleton was several centimeters shorter than you. We may not line up, but they did and that’s all that really matters.”“I guess.” Dirk ducked his head and looked into the mirror. “But they would have seen the room at different angles.”“That’s true. Good catch, Agent Allen.” Tina shuffled over to the bookshelves. “They saw the murderer before they were shot. We need to have the same sightlines they had. Are any of these books real?”“According to the scans,” Fact-Tel said, “the ones on the lowest shelf are real books.”As Tina bent over to retrieve the thickest book off the bottom shelf, her skirt rode up in the back, revealing more and more thigh. Dirk held his breath. He knew what was above those thighs. It wasn’t panties, no sir.“Look at that, Atlas Shrugged, hardcover, large print edition.” She pulled the mammoth tomb off the shelf and stood up.Her skirt slipped back down and Dirk let out a disappointed sigh.“I will gladly stand on this.” She shuffled back to the fireplace and dropped the book. It fell onto the rug with a loud thud. When she stepped on top of it, she was, indeed, a few centimeters taller. “Oh yeah,” she said as she looked into the mirror and surveyed the room behind her. “I can see more of the floor at this angle.”Dirk bent his knees slightly and peered into the mirror as well. “And I can see more of the ceiling. I’m not sure what good it does, but we’re that much closer to solving the crime.”“So,” Tina said as she placed her hands back on the ornate fireplace, “Snide and Appleton were in flagrante.”“They were on fire?” he asked. “I thought they got shot.”“No fire,&rd

MMT50 - 219

Meeting Malkmus - a Pavement podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2024 26:20

This week jD is joined by Kyra from the cornfields of Western Illinois to discuss both her Pavement origin story as well as her perspective on track 19. Transcript:Track 2:[0:00] Previously on the Pavement Top 50. Blackout. So what do you think, Jessica, from Ann Arbor? I think it is a very solid Pavement song. Yeah. Like, I think it belongs in the top 20 to 30. Okay. Because, I don't know, it hits all the right Pavement beats. Hey, this is Westy from the Rock and Roll Band Pavement.Track 3:[0:27] And you're listening to The Countdown. Hey, it's J.D. here, back for another episode of our Top 50 Countdown for Seminal Indie Rock Band, Pavement. Week over week, we're going to count down the 50 essential Pavement tracks that you selected with your very own Top 20 ballots. I then tabulated the results using an abacus, six taquitos, and a bottle of bismal. How will your favorite songs fare in the rankings? Rankings you'll need to tune in to find out so there's that this week i'm joined by pavement superfan kyra from the cornfields of western illinois illinois illinois how the fuck is it going my friend it's uh pretty fucking great thank you for asking all right well um let's let's not beat around the bush let's get right into this let's talk about your pavement origin story.Track 3:[1:27] Okay um i got into pavement in the early 90s um i um graduated high school in 1994 so that was the year oh cool all right so um so you know um yeah i was 18 years old i was getting ready to graduate high school and um i'd been hearing about pavement you know and like spin and stuff magazine spin magazine and stuff like that and it sounded cool but here in the middle of fucking nowhere cornfield um they just didn't have everything you know or um you know just things were slower to get here maybe yeah stuff like that um but it's a it's a small town western illinois i lived in a town of 800 people 801 people and um i'm right now i'm in the college town that's not far from there which is a town of like 20 000 i think okay western illinois University and that's where I live now and that's where I kind of grew up around here and ended up back here but so anyway I was a teenage kid and I was into Nirvana and Pearl Jam Soundgarden all that all that stuff Alice in Chains but I was also getting into cool stuff I had a really cool curiosity I think you know I was into uh Dinosaur Jr. I was getting into Sonic Youth and uh.Track 3:[2:43] Sugar, The Replacements, REM, Morphine, just stuff like that. I think I was getting into alternative type music. And I was also really getting into Bob Dylan around that time. Oh, wow. That's pretty diverse.Track 3:[3:00] So Pavement kind of clicked with me. I got that CD called No Alternative. It was a compilation. It had a bunch of cool bands. It had a new Nirvana song on it. I think that's why I wanted to get it, because it had a cool Nirvana. A new hidden track on it or something like that um but the pavement song was really cool it was unseen power of the picket fence which is that weird rem kind of tribute not one of their best tunes but it's fun and it's cool and it introduced me to their how goofy and uh quirky and there's there's their sound and stuff like that right right so and i thought that's cool i like that filed it away maybe, hip-pocketed it. But then I got off work. I worked at the Hardee's here in town, the fast food restaurant. I got off work, went home, and I turned on my little black-and-white TV I had in my room and watched the end of the Jay Leno show. And he had pavement as his guests on his show, and I just, they played Cut Your Hair. Yeah. And it was, I just thought, I fell in love right there. I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever heard.Track 3:[4:17] And... And you're not wrong. Yeah, right? And it was around that time where Kurt Cobain died, too. And I was a big Nirvana fan. And shit was just really serious and heavy and kind of depressing. I was listening to a lot of Pearl Jam and Nirvana and Soundgarden and Alice in Chains. And everybody was a junkie and everybody was depressed. And pavement was a cool thing to come across around that time when I was an 18-year-old impressionable youth. because it wasn't really like that. It was fun, but it still felt very urgent, I felt. Their music felt vital and urgent and had a lot of depth and meaning for an 18-year-old kid, I think. Yeah. So it was a good breather from that serious stuff I've been listening to, and I was just instantly in love with that. And my friend, I think I went to school a couple days later, and my friend's like, hey, I bought that pavement tape that you told me about on Jay Leno or whatever. And he loaned it to me, and it was Crooked Ring, Crooked Ring. And of course, that's the greatest album ever made. So that was a pretty big one to get and get into. And I fell in love with that instantly, all those great songs. Songs, you know, Gold Sound, Silent Kid, Fillmore Jive, Ranged Life.Track 3:[5:47] Every song on that one's a banger, right? It's a masterpiece. Yeah, so I got into that. I was like, well, I got to go get more of this. So I came over here to the record store. We used to have four record stores in this town. Now we have zero. Oh, shit.Track 3:[6:02] Sucks but um anyway there's uh i came over here and bought the i saw another pavement cd and it was uh watery domestic chicken on the cover and that that's also the greatest thing ever made the greatest ep ever made i guess the greatest album ever no argument from me right and this was all within like maybe a few weeks a week or a week of each other and i just loved that i thought that was the best best thing i'd ever heard um and yeah i was just in love with paper after that And I was like, this is my band. You found your band. Yeah. And I eventually, over the next few months, started getting the other stuff. I got that Westing, which I don't know if you can see it back there, my little Steve Keen of the Westing cover. A friend gave me that. She bought it down from him in Oklahoma. But anyway, that's a great, that's a cool collection of tunes. And I was like, introduced me to their early stuff, which I thought was pretty cool. But I really like what they were doing currently more, you know, yeah, they're crooked rain stuff and you know And then I started just buying everything I could get from pavement and then I heard slanted enchanted I'm like, holy shit. This is also the greatest album ever made. So Yeah, yeah all that stuff. And then wowie zowie came out like maybe a year later, you know It wasn't very long and that one was pretty amazing too little little more of a head fuck than the other ones which is I.Track 3:[7:27] Awesome you know and i just a big fan ever since um did you convert people as well i tried you had like so that you had some sort of echo chamber to be talking about this or were you isolated with your fandom um well that's a good question because my friends some of my friends kind of dug when i dug pavement and when i played it for them but i don't think they were they clicked with it like i I did, where they were totally in love with it, but they enjoyed that album, Crooked Rain and Crooked Rain. I think I might have played them something off Debris Slide or something like that. I don't know about this one, but I remember that. I actually joined the Navy right after I graduated high school and found out in the Navy that nobody liked pavement or heard of pavement.Track 3:[8:18] I hardly met anybody. buddy um but i was traveling a lot and i would go to different towns to different record stores and find the find different pavement things so that was kind of fun and i would try to turn people onto it and it didn't really click very much i converted a few people though over the years i guess i had a roommate have people to talk to about it right yeah i had a roommate who was a drummer and i played him uh watery domestic i think and he was just blown away by the drumming I think that's Gary Young, right? Doing the crazy drumming on that one. Yeah, the drumming on that was Texas Never Whispers is so cool. And he was pretty blown away by that. He's like, this drumming is so different and not your typical drumming, I guess. So I converted a few people here and there over the years. Did you ever manage to see them live?Track 3:[9:08] I did, yeah, finally, two years ago. Oh, cool. I saw them at the Chicago Theater. Yeah, good venue? They were so good. It's a classic venue, but it's not my preferred type of venue to see them in, but it was a beautiful place, and I was seeing the greatest band ever there. They sounded really good. They sounded so good on that. Yeah, they were great. So um i saw that i saw um steven malchemist and the jicks also when they first went on tour in like 2001 and that was a really cool show yeah yeah um bob was driving the rv and uh selling t-shirts really it just seemed really like a cool little tour um i think steven's um malchemist's girlfriend was in the band kind of for a while there um and she was kind of like doing background own vocals and stuff like that so it was kind of a fun gig um yeah i saw him on the pig lib tour.Track 3:[10:13] Uh but i didn't make it out i don't i wonder where he would have played here for pig lib he played at a bar called lee's palace which is like just a great venue to you know just yeah he's into and i like those be with your people right i would rather do that than be at the show the Chicago theater but um this was at the metro where I saw in Chicago which is a it's kind of the cool venue in Chicago where all the cool bands play but um and I'm from small town it's three hours to Chicago for me a three or four hour drive um and you know it's scary in Chicago because it's hard to drive and traffic and stuff like that but that's why I didn't go to a lot of shows when I was a kid.Track 3:[10:56] Just because I'm a hillbilly and uh I um didn't make it to see them when I when I would have loved to have seen them when they were at Lollapalooza or playing small clubs and stuff like that, touring behind Slanton and Enchanted. But no, I just kind of didn't get the chance to actually see them. I remember actually my now ex-wife bought me tickets to see them just on a whim. I told her I wanted to go see them in New York when they first reunited, like the reunion in 2010. 2010, I guess it would have been. Yeah, and she actually bought tickets, but we ended up going to Jamaica and getting married instead around the same time, so I had to cancel that. I mean, that's kind of a bust.Track 3:[11:45] So I kind of missed the opportunity there, I guess. But yeah, I've just been a huge fan ever since. I always felt like all of their album releases were like an event. And I remember hanging out like when I was stationed in Texas, hanging out with some friends when Bright in the Corners came out.Track 3:[12:08] Playing it for them, and they actually really liked some of the songs on it. I remember, like, Stereo and Shady Lane and stuff like that. I thought that stuff could have been a hit. I was like, this stuff's going to be a hit, guys. And they're like, yeah, sure. And, of course, I'm always wrong. I was always wrong about that. I'm actually a radio person. I used to run the alternative rock station here in town when they had one, and I was always a champion of pavement.Track 3:[12:32] I do have a funny story, I guess, kind of funny. So I worked for the radio station here in town. there's like this local group of six radio stations yeah um and i was the um i ran the alternative station i was the music director and the dj there and then uh also was like the classic morning classic rock morning show person and um also the news kind of a news person too i just kind of did a lot of things jack of all trades or whatever but um our little station group got bought out by this uh corporate butthole hedge fund dude came down and bought the stations and then fired all the people basically but um they kind of kept me around for a couple months and i learned how to they talked told me i had to do the news so i was the news director and i had to make news stories and stuff like that which not much of a journalist but i was doing i was trying but um eventually they had they were going to fire me too and they did and i knew they were going to fire me so i did not go out without a fight and i um made this news story about how oh, the new owner was a butthole and all this stuff. But, you know, I still had like two something minutes left on my newscast.Track 3:[13:40] So I play, I'm like, oh, and here's pavement, gold sounds. And then I put gold sounds in there. And then I broadcast that out the rest of the day. They fired me across the whole area on all six of their stations. And so that went out and I exposed people to pavement and made my little...Track 3:[14:03] Snide remarks about the the butthole uh guy who bought the stations and fired everybody and, it was uh it was a good feeling you played gold sounds yeah yeah i just i just thought that was a good it was it was a good length i think it's it's it might be my favorite of their songs i i don't know what i don't have i don't think i have a favorite but i have many but um yeah that Very nostalgic. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's just got that feel. Yeah, just something wistful about it, I guess.Track 3:[14:37] But, yeah, that was... Do you have a go-to record at this point? Like, do you have one that you'll put on, you know, when you're feeling pavement-y? Or does it depend on a specific mood? It's definitely a mood thing. It seems like Wowie Zowie is always getting played around here a lot for some reason. Um because that one's that one's big it's like the white album kind of you know favorite albums so it's a big long one with uh different moods and stuff like that and i kind of it's kind of how i am a moody person so i like the roller coaster ride of that one and i like the kind of woozy sound of a lot of the songs on that one i think it's just this beautiful sounding record and.Track 3:[15:20] Um, it's got songs I don't like on it, even like a couple that kind of, I find a little more jarring, but, uh, it's still the one I've been listening to the most, I guess. But I, um, the first three, I think are, you know, the greatest albums ever made. And, um, I like the other ones also. So I have those ones on vinyl. I don't have the last two albums on vinyl and I play a lot of vinyl. So I guess that's why I, um, but my kids are into it too. That's kind of cool. They've, uh, tick tock was the harness your hopes thing. I heard my kids listening to it and I was like, Whoa, that's so cool. And they, uh, they would like, I had a t-shirt and didn't fit me anymore. So they would, they would fight over the t-shirt. They had a couple of daughters.Track 3:[16:10] Yeah. Right. But they, uh, they did. I tried to get them a little deeper into it, but they, they know harness your hopes. Which is cool and uh i was like why what does this mean my daughter said it's for a fit check i'm like what the heck is a fit check it's like an outfit showing off your outfit yeah i didn't know that it's been around yeah yeah so that's it's over my head too i'm 50 years old yeah, so i think that's pretty cool and then i've they've gotten into it it's cool seeing younger kids get into it i see it every once in a while i see somebody who's considerably younger than to myself almost in my kids age and getting into Pavement I'm like that's good it means it's I was right this whole time you know about this great band justice.Track 3:[16:55] Exactly well Kyra what do you say we flip the record and get into track number 19.Track 3:[17:08] Okay alright we'll do that right after this.Track 3:[19:46] This week, we're going deep on Box Elder. How are you feeling about song number 19, Kyra, from the COWI? I fucking love Box Elder so much. It's a great song. It's one of the earlier Pavement songs. I think it's a very early Pavement song. Say it's, you know, song number one. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Which is cool. And it's one that really holds up, I think, too. So I was saying, if you're just joining us, I got into Pavement in 1994 at Crook and Rain, and it was awesome. And then I got Watery Domestic, and then I think a few weeks later, I got the Westing collection of tunes. And yeah, I just remember that one, immediately liking that song.Track 3:[20:37] One thing I like about it is it's got a twee kind of twee element to it almost like a beat happening or something like that, like K Records Calvin Johnson kind of sound which I didn't really know much about then but when I hear it now and there's also something R.E.M. About that guitar riff on that I agree with you there Early R.E.M., for sure. Yeah, and I know that it was a big influence on them. And I'm a huge R.E.M. fan now. So there's that. And that song, I actually had to look this up, but it said that it's a true collaboration between the two, Stephen and Scott. Spiral, yeah. Yeah, they kind of just, it was his riff, I think, and then Malcolm Husky wrote the lyrics and sang over it. And they didn't really write songs like that before or after. It's kind of one of the only ones that was like really a collaboration like that, I guess. Very. I mean, I think they were all collaborations in one way or the other, but...Track 3:[21:42] Yeah, for sure. On that tune. I love the lyrics of the tune. I love the meaning of it. I'm from Vermont, Illinois. Vermont IL, population 801. And Box Elder MO is just, I'm going to head to Box Elder MO. It's just he's going to head to some hillbilly ass town in Missouri. It's kind of what that's what i got out of it anyway um but being from a small town and being somebody who's different i'm a transgender woman um i didn't know it then but it's something i've always felt and it's something i still feel and getting hearing that line i've got to get the fuck out of this town meant something back then and recently maybe in the last couple years that tune is really everyone's like man i really love this song because i love that line i've got to get get the fuck out of this town because i was living in this other small town nearby which is just very, bigotty town and i was ready to get the fuck out of there so i'm glad to be out of that town um had to get the fuck out of that town and come over here to yes box elder love that that it means box elder yeah it's got some deep deep meaning um i think and uh yeah i'm in a place where there's I was in the town, there's not a lot of pavement fans, you know?Track 3:[23:02] So get the fuck out of this town. So yeah, it's a cool song. I think their sound and their songwriting improved significantly after that. But as an early tune, I think it's definitely one of their best. And it's one that definitely means something to me, I think, for sure. Love that song. Love Box Elder. It's a good one. What do you think about where it landed on the countdown, number 19?Track 3:[23:33] That's actually perfect. Do you think it's a fair spot for it? Yeah. I guess, yeah. I think it's a perfect spot. I mean, considering they made so many other great songs and that they really improved on their sound after that, but also as an early tune and they're finding their sound, I think that was definitely one of the most important songs in there.Track 3:[23:56] In their canon of awesome tunes. Well, really, I mean, if you think back, this song was covered by Wedding Present and played by John Peel. And I wonder if John Peel hadn't got his hands or mine wrapped around pavement. Like, they are so huge in the UK. Yeah. And it just makes me wonder what, you know, what would have happened had they not had access to you know john peel it would have been very interesting but so that's how he got into them through wedding presents cover that's how uh my memory is so shit but i feel that sounds yeah okay yeah if i'm wrong send me an email jd meeting malcolmus at gmail.com new email address everybody well kyra it's been good talking to you today from uh western illinois and uh talking about box elder i enjoyed myself i hope you enjoyed yourself and um that's about what we have to say do you have anything you want to plug.Track 3:[25:04] Um no i mean i i host a i host a folk uh alternative country americana radio show on tri-states public radio every sunday night at seven o'clock if people are into that sort of stuff um but uh that's what i do but nothing to plug i'm just here to talk about pavement.Track 3:[25:25] Love it i love the show it's a it's great show keep up the good work oh thanks that means a lot for real that's what i gotta say this week and uh we'll be back next week with song number 18 we are in the thick of the top 20 my goodness wash your goddamn hands.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/meeting-malkmus-a-pavement-podcast/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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