Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women

All these were descendants of Asher—heads of families, choice men, brave warriors and outstanding leaders. 1 Chronicles 7:40  I saw an interesting question from a friend on Facebook today and it had me thinking of the perspective of everything I read. The question was:  “Men, what are your thoughts about reading books by women?  There was more to her question but that one sentence stopped me to think when was the last time I heard a man recommend a book written by a female author.  Then I started asking myself what perspective do I read the books from? Whether I am reading a self-improvement book, Christian living, leadership or the bible, how I identify with the author can dictate how much I buy into the ability for me to have the transformation promised in the book.   Early on in my married life I would read Danielle Steele novels, I was hooked, I would sit and read a complete book in one sitting. This did absolutely nothing for the upkeep of my home. I began to feel guilty after arguing with my husband over why the house was so trashed. So I would barter with myself, I can read a chapter after I clean up the breakfast dishes, I can read another chapter after I start a load of laundry and dust, I can start another chapter after I clean the bathrooms. The house was getting cleaned my husband was not happy but a little more satisfied. I was miserable, being jerked back to the reality of snotty noses, baby diapers, fixing dinner, and cleaning…. None of the characters in the stories I read had to put up with this. Why couldn’t my husband be like the romantic love interest in the story I was reading? See, when you read a book, any book it has the ability to transform you and transport you to another place and time, but when you stop reading you are still right back where you were when you started unless you are moved to action.  Why did those Danielle Steele novels speak to me? Because she was a woman writing about the things many women long for, but very seldom talk about. However, I cannot tell you one man I know of that has read a Danielle Steele novel. There are very few that will admit they have read Emily Dickens or Maya Angelou.  All my life I have been told that the Bible is THE LIVING BREATHING WORD of GOD, as much as I believe that today when my friend asked that question I began to think there are some ways that I feel the Bible does NOT apply to me as a woman. I was feeling a little uninspired as I began flipping through the Bible reading about Warriors and I came across 1 Chronicles 7:40 All these were descendants of Asher—heads of families, choice men, brave warriors and outstanding leaders.  When you read that as a woman, first thing I notice it says is “Choice Men”. I was about to be dismissive of the verse and go on searching for something more along the lines of what I wanted to read about.  Please tell me I am not the only one who does this?  But anyway as I began to move on I felt God tell me to wait. Asking me how could there be so many descendants of Asher without women? It said these men were heads of families, that means they had women who handled everything while they were away at war. It said they were choice men, choice men only associated with choice women. Brave warriors you know what I am going to come back to this point….Outstanding leaders, one thing I know for sure is outstanding leaders raise everyone around them to be outstanding as well.  Going back to Brave Warriors, as a veteran, who is married to a veteran, I will tell you it is very difficult to serve during a time of war, I would never minimize the warrior mentality of a service member in the field. However, as a mom of a service member, and daughter of a police officer I also know that it takes a warrior mindset for those of us at home while our loved ones are serving on the battlefield.  Yet when I read this scripture there was even more that He whispered to me. That there are many women, maybe you are one of them who are standing strong as the head of their home. Women who are Choice women, and brave warriors and outstanding leaders.  In a verse that has over a dozen words, I was letting one small word disqualify the whole sentence and how it applied to me. What if instead I stopped and asked God to reveal to me how He wants me to see His word, and even more how He wants me to apply his word. Funny thing, when I was done reading the Bible today, I was not snapped back to the reality I started with, like when I read those empty romance novels. Instead I was transformed with a new warrior mindset by a God that loves me and knows me more intimately than any author could ever write about.  Let’s be mindful of what we are feeding our minds, our bodies and our souls so that we can be transformed from the inside out by our heavenly father.  Questions to Ponder:What are you reading?How is it moving you closer to or further away from your purpose? Do you have a Warrior Mindset?  

Hello and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS Daily Devotional today’s verse is Psalm 119:64 The earth is filled with your love, Lord; teach me your decrees. When I was a little girl people would always ask me where I got my pretty blue eyes, I would giggle and say “Key-Mart”….Yes, everything back in the day came from K-Mart, but the truth was I had my daddy’s eye.  My dad’s eyes are unique and have a unique perspective. He and I have often been able to see and recognize things that many overlook. He is an Army veteran and retired Police Officer. He taught me how to look for things.  I remember one car ride where he was telling me about when you are looking for something in an open field, like a deer. You would lookout as far as you could see and then bring your gaze back toward you. This allowed your eyes to catch what you were looking for instead of your eyes chasing where the deer had been.  Another thing my dad showed me was how to see people, not their circumstance. There were times when he would bring homeless people to our home, so they could get a shower, a hot meal, their clothes washed and even new clothes, and see if there were ways my mom and dad could help them find a safe place to stay. They would minister to these people in physically and spiritually.  My daddy’s eye’s taught me to search the world from the perspective of my Heavenly Father.  I don’t know about you but when I look at social media, the news and even sometimes driving down the road, it is hard to remember that the earth is filled with love. Right now all my physical eyes can see is pain, anger, and war.  However when I take the time to look around with my Heavenly fathers eyes I am able to see things from a different perspective. I set my vision out towards heaven, and for all those out there running scared, and in pain, I am able to see them as they run into my view. I try not to see their actions, but see beyond to what is the root of their pain.  One thing I have begin to realize is so many people just want to be accepted, to be seen, to be heard, mostly they just want to be LOVED.  To many of my friends Christian and non-Christian are spreading their “Truth” to be correct from a worldly perspective, but my challenge to myself and each of you listening today is to be relationally right by sharing God’s truth of Love, Peace, Joy & HOPE!  Questions to Consider?What eyes are you looking at the world through?Do you love the unlovable? How will you show love to those around you today? 

Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. This is your host Angie Lehman ro and in the studio with me today I have Connie Wyatt Coleman. She is a dear friend of mine. She has a long lineage of, of expertise that she brings to the table but more importantly she is a woman that's after Christ's heart and ferociously runs after him every day of her life. So I cannot wait to see we we talked a little bit about how this show may go. And then we said, You know what, we just need to have one of our talks on the air. So that's what we're doing today. Welcome, Connie. Good to be here. Good to be here. Rules of Engagement. No throw punches today. No throw punches. But that's what we do when we get together, right? Yes. And you know what i have treasured it. Very few friends will take friendship and allow accountability with it. And we've had a long history of being able to love each other and hold each other accountable at the same time. We have and you know, it's one of those things that we have laughed together. We have cried together. We have been mad together. We have watched our children grow together. When we met I didn't have grandchildren and now I do. That is crazy. And they're big. They're six getting to see him too. Yeah, they're beautiful. So, you know it's it's crazy. All the all the things that have happened your girls have grown up gone through high school ones about to get married, you know and, and praise the Lord she has not been a bridezilla. Oh, goodness. That is a Praise the Lord. Yes, I will take it in this day and age with everything going on in the world to kind of put some things in perspective. Yeah, puts things in perspective for us. So I'm glad to hear all that's going good and all of our lives but you know, we also know that not everybody's doing good with things going on in their world. It doesn't have to do with if you're hearing this and listening to this in the middle of the Coronavirus thing. It doesn't even have to do with that. Some people just have a hard time getting by day by day. life on this earth is just hard, right? It just is. I I watched a video. Last night somebody had a lady and a pantry. She was singing the song Jolene. But instead of singing it, please don't take my man it says please come and take my man. And she says, and if you don't answer I'll have to call Irene. And so I know this affects people in a humorous way it affects people in an angry way and a pic affects people in a lonely way. And one of the things we like to do on warrior divas is just shine a light into that darkness in so you can see a way out and we were talking last night and one of our studies in john, where you know, that where there was a challenge to the to the apostles to be that light and to continue to live that light out. Not To expose, but that that fear and evil cannot reside in the light. And truth is the way truth is the light. And so, you know, I started thinking, what are some of the ways that I could poke and prod Connie to open up the truth of Christ to to the audience today, you know, because she didn't take a whole lot doesn't take a whole lot. If you get to follow her on Facebook, she shares some little morning devotionals on there quite often that are very good, packed, powerful, very easy to read. And that's not an easy task for someone who is as educated as she is to speak the commoners language that I can read and understand. I love it. All these people getting on and sharing their messages on Facebook and all that stuff in there using all these big words and I'm like, okay, I didn't know I was gonna have to break a dictionary and a thesaurus to figure out what this person saying, I just want it to be relevant. And that's something that Connie does. Every time she shares in this season, haven't you? There's been a lot of ugly and we'll address some of that later. But there's been such an influx of creativity and letting their light shine like you're throwing them out and, and even people that maybe didn't before coming on and just time and time again, using all different ways of creativity to make it through this season to encourage other people to love on others, with social distancing in place, but right, you know, just some real creative ways to intentionally reach out to each other. Well, you know, and it's the what it was at the Dallas orchestra performed yesterday. For the first time together since the beginning of March and they did it all from their own living rooms and did it online together. Yeah. Wonderful. What a wonderful way of you know, right now one of the things that this is teaching us is how to push through limitations. What a great thing. You're telling me I can't do this, but I'm gonna find a way to still be relevant in the world I live in. Yes. And what a great thing for all of us. Wow. Yes, personally and professionally. I know. My staff up CEO at wise choices Resource Center in pregnancy Resource Center indicator and just getting together with the staff on zoom and going okay. We know what the box is. We know what our limitations are. We know what we can do safely and what we can't within the guidelines and protocol, but Okay, now, step outside the box. How can we continue to reach our clients To reach our partners in ways we haven't thought of before, right? That would be sustainable, really, even after this season is over, because there's the good news this season will eventually be over. Well, and while we're recording this today in the studio, we're actually recording this on Good Friday. We are. And the reason I kind of wanted to do that is it's a part of the time that we're in our darkest hour where it's actually between the 12 and 3pm. Our time I know that's not the time it is and in Jerusalem, but our time, this would be the time that was the darkest of the dark days going into Easter weekend. It's Friday, it's Friday, but you know what Sunday's coming. And we have the benefit of hindsight to see that. Yeah. But you know what Jesus had the full sight to prepare his disciples before that, so that they wouldn't have to live in fear so they wouldn't have to. They could see hope at the end. You know, I think the thing that gets me is how quickly we judge them. Mm hmm. Because I he tried to tell you, he tried like multiple times, yeah. But then I look at myself, right? And how many times has he fully told me and we have full revelation of Scripture, right? How many times has he shown me the plan and that he will not leave us he will not forsake us. He, he is coming again. And he is victorious. And we have the whole counsel of Scripture and yet we still back up and fear and we still wonder and doubt in the middle of the season if if what he said is true, and if it will hold true. So it's Real easy to look at Peter and go walk. How could you deny him? Right? Well, Connie, how can you live in fear and deny the power he has in your life? Well, we were talking about we read the, the gospel of john, in our group Bible study yesterday. And one of the things that we read about was right after that were Peter, you know, had denied him three times. But when Jesus made it so important to go and see his apostles multiple times after he, after he had risen, and there's the one occasion where he's talking with Peter. And he's telling asking Peter over and over Do you love me? And Peter saying, yes. And do you love me? Yes. And do you love me? Yes. Excuse me. And I think the reason gee This is asking him that is to get Peter to say yes to Him. But also for Peter to hear Jesus say that I love you get it sunken into Peter said, Peter is kinda like my six year old grandson. You got to repeat it a few times for it to sink in. And sometimes you might have to inflect your voice a little more than you really need to you know, it's that Moonstruck snap out of it moment. Oh, God has to do that to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Walking through a situation just this last week. And just like, Lord, I could really use the cliff notes at this point. Right. Right. One other chapter just who, let's, let's get some cliff notes here. But well, one of the other things we talked about in our study this week in our warrior divas Facebook group and if you're not a part of it, you should be a part of it because we're starting to do more and more studying in there. And because We're on a mission to equip and empower. Not just our generation of women, but women that are coming back behind us, you know, we want it to be a legacy project. And so one of the things we were discussing this week in there was how the Roman soldiers and pilot inherit, they had no clue as to what the scripture said. So when those Roman soldiers are at the feet of Jesus about this time of the day, and they're casting lots for his garment, they had no idea they were fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. The one that pure steam on the side and didn't break his legs. They had no idea they were fulfilling prophecy. And yet he realized who it was right? No, I I'm like you we kind of talked about this weekend and I can't believe you know, we're sitting here right now and Think about all the things that happened on that Friday and just like today, things you never dreamed, you would see happen, right? The Son of God hung on across Really? His disciples did not deny him. I mean, Christian people would rather loose Brabus than Jesus. I mean, who are we right? But then I start thinking about Saturday. And when the sun goes down, it's it's the Sabbath, right? And somehow in the middle of the chaos, and the trauma, they go back home, and even though they don't get it, they don't understand it in the middle of the doubt. When the hope of their expectation is in the tomb, they walk by faith And they cry out to the Lord on the Sabbath. And that, that Saturday to me has always been. I mean, you know how it is when you come through a trauma and and you get back to your house and you kind of sit down and you kind of start feeling yourself and see if you have, you know, do I have flesh wounds? Did I really survive this day? Did that really happen? And then Saturday, what, what do I even do with this? What do I even really still believe? Where is my heart Really? And in that quiet Saturday, they still observe the Sabbath. Right? They still honored what the what he had been setting in motion for years. And I think, I think right now is the time to do that. You know, I think some of the trauma of this COVID thing may be kind of adjusting and now we're moving into Okay, I've survived the first part, I'm not mortally wounded. I'm not bleeding anywhere. What do I do with today? Right? And that's when we come back and we draw on everything that the Lord has sewn into us. Yesterday, the day before, the in his previous sness He called us to a season of prayer or diving into the word and if we will, but sit still in his presence. He will draw those things out and you said give us the hope. That Sunday's common Sunday is going to get here he is going to fulfill His promises. He is going to draw us out of this. But I just feel like truly rotten, right in this season. That man this a Saturday season it feels like well, you know, I think there's some some big truth to the fact of the numbness that you just brought up. You know, when all this first started happening, I know I talk to a lot of people there. They're like, I've just slept a lot and watched a lot of Netflix I'm basically Netflix didn't chilled, which I know that there's another slang for that at times but, you know, sleeping and watching TV sleeping and watching TV, it was a it was a numbness it was this shell shock. It was a What do I do now there were some people that haven't slowed down our grocery workers, our truckers, our doctors and nurses. Those people haven't slowed down, our food processing plants, farmers, they all are still showing up every day. And so, for me, my husband and I own a plumbing company and our plumbing company. While our residential calls haven't been as much. Our commercial calls are still happening because we serve a lot of restaurants, hospitals, food processing plants, right. So for us life hasn't shifted as much as it has for others. I'm still doing coaching as a matter of fact, I've had people come and hire me since this happened because now they're shifting to add online to their already brick and mortar business or whatever it is. So I'm helping them through that transition along that ways. So that I still had a day or two where I was like, Whoa, what is this gonna do? And then my sleep schedule got off and all sorts of things. And like the apostles, I had to go, Okay, it's time to get up. Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm kind of like here. When this first started, God called me to go to the square there and indicator in our small town at seven o'clock every morning, and just pray around the square. And it was, I thought, just gonna be one day. And then when we when we were there that day is like, no, this is every day until this is done. And I was like, oh, Because I don't leave the house at 645 in the morning on a normal day. So, um yeah. So it's it's kind of been that kind of thing that God did that made me stay on a schedule. So I do that and then I go to the office and I'm only one there but you know, Hey, get the work done that needs to be done and then I'm home by two or three my husband's already retired so we were kind of already that's a new normal so getting used to him being retired and home. And so yeah, it hasn't changed as much as a lot of people's lives have. Man You're right. There's there's some people really adjusting and another thing we've talked about is just the grace that you know, your two days kind of came in the beginning. Someone else's reality hit or just I don't know what you even call those two days, right? crash or shut down or process level we're hitting over the last couple of days as layoffs are starting to happen. Yes. And there will be some like my personality is kind of the kind that just gets through it and doesn't really even see things. I'm a trauma triage person. Yeah, and I'm in it and then once we get done, and it's over and everybody else is all excited about going to work then then mine will come right but as sisters we have to be able to embrace each other and and recognize that we do process all that different. And not only that, but whether one sister isn't as concerned as someone else or as sheltered in place. I guess that's shelter in place is the is more out and about or another one is more cautious. There's grace for both right? And instead of bashing each other man, we can do better. We can support each other, encourage each other and walk through different seasons in different times, right? And hopefully we're we do that better than I'm seeing some. You know, like I said earlier in a lot of ways you see a lot of amazing creativity and intentionality coming out and then sometimes, wow, you know, fear can either mask itself as overly confident or as under confident, and just what we're typically used to seeing fear look at look like and even in either one, we have to have grace to come alongside and encourage meet them where they are, right. That's what Jesus did for us. That's what he did for Peter. What you were just talking about. He met Peter right? Worry was right. The typically boisterous Peter now became the overly cautious Peter, right. And Jesus every time put that and just think I didn't even think about that that's just a number of hours between him being overly confident and slicing the soldier's ear off right. And a few hours later, he's the other way and denying haven nosing. Right? Wow, I had never even really write that. But just a number of very brief hours, that Peter goes through all of that, and yet the Lord had grace, calling back to truth, but had grace and love and mercy for both extremes. Well, you know, we were talking in our study this week about the Pharisees and the Sadducees how they, how they were manipulating pilots so much, you know, and pilot saw it. He he recognized it And as we read through each of the Gospels we read, you know, Matthew one day mark one day, Luke one day, john one day, and we've got some other verses about the resurrection and, and all that stuff coming up that we're gonna discuss later on today. And the when we're discussing that I said, you know, the Pharisees and the Sadducees were going to pilot going, you know, he's he's stirring things up and they were pointing at Jesus now all I can think of is, when you point at somebody, you got three fingers pointing back at you, right? So they're pointing at Jesus saying he stirring them up. But in reality, he was stirring their hearts and getting them to see something beyond what the Pharisees and Sadducees were teaching them. That's when they get in trouble. And therefore, oh, come out. They were like our sheep bowls. are not staying in line. Like, we love them to stay in line and they're starting to want to look behind the curtain as they say in the laws, you know. And, you know, I love the part where we read last night, that pilot when he put the plaque over Jesus's head that said, the King of Kings King of the Jews, you know, and they're like, no, it needs to say he claimed to be they were trying to spin it. I said, they're like the media today, you know, they're always trying to spin it to put the right words to get the biggest attention to get this to get the things approved. You know, and, and I'm not out here call on fake media. I'm not doing all that stuff because I have some very good friends that are part of the media that do their due diligence. So you know, I'm not going there. I'm not getting on that bandwagon. But on the other side of and with me being in radio media and podcasting, now I am the media. So, but on the other side of it It is, we need to be cautious of the people around us that are stirring things and pointing to others deflecting to others. We need to have the mindset to look exactly at what is the truth. And the difficult thing right now is in so many ways, no one knows no one knows right? The truth really is except you can always know the truth of Scripture, right and always know the truth for the direction of your life for how to treat others are how to walk through problems, even if you don't know the truth of whatever problem it is you're facing or whatever the disaster for lack of better word, right is. Because anytime you're walking through one you don't know the truth of it until you get all the way through it and see but this is is I mean, this is one that has shaken the world. Yes, rightly or wrongly, and I shake in the world. And I don't think we've seen half. And I don't say that, like pessimistically, I don't think the curtains have been pulled back to see the spiritual ramifications of this as much as anything else. Well, I think we talked a little bit too. And the reason I brought up the Pharisees and the Sadducees, we talked a little bit before we came on the air about we need to be very careful about having a religious spirit during this time. I was in a group the other day and somebody was like, Hey, we're gonna do a call Friday at four, something like that. And somebody on the west coast is like, Well, you know, I'm observing that I'm reading my Bible, because it's Good Friday and the guy goes, well, what's good Friday, you know, and somebody said, Well, for those that are religious, it's a sacred holiday. And let me just tell you, all right, for those of you that don't know me, Well, I have a sassy side. Why are you laughing? Connie? We did I learned it from Connie. No. I did. Well, you asked my husband, he would say you learn from the best, but we didn't mention no throat punches, right. I think that might have given a clue. Right? Right. So, but in that group, when the person said, for religious people, in my right part of my mind, I knew she meant no offense to it. But in my sassy part of my mind, I wanted to say, Well, I'm not religious, but as a Christian, I observe. Yeah. Because to me, there's a difference. There is a difference in being a Christ follower, and full of grace, because what we talk about About earlier with Jesus talking to Peter, he was talking to Peter after Peter had denied him three times. And he was asking Peter, do you love me? And he asked him three times do you love me? Helping Peter rehabilitate his own heart and his own guilt over the denial of Christ. He was having that intimate moment with you. You know how we, we do. We talked about my six six year old grandson, though that you grab them by the face, you put hands on either side of their face to where their cheeks are just squished up just right. And you go Do you understand me? And that I can envision in verbal picture. That's what Jesus was doing with Peter. You know, yes, you've made mistakes. Yes, you are a zealous person. But I want you to be zealous for my people. Yes, big difference. Big difference bead my sheep tend to my sheep. Love My sheep, and being religious about whether or not they're going to church and trusting God for a miracle to heal them and keep them safe and all this. Oh, it's exhausting being self righteous. And you know what's funny is we can all go there so fast because I mean, let's admit it black and white is way easier. You know? It's just easier. It is. And the Sagittarius and Pharisees were very black and white, very legalistic by had it down to a science. But Wow, how they could get it wrong. Right. They could get it wrong. And that just to me, just goes to prove how easy it is to get off track. They knew the word, right. If anybody knew the word they knew the word right? didn't have the spirit. They had the religion in the relationship. And here's the thing that really, really gets me. They knew the word they knew the prophecy. And watching those soldiers go, were to the to on either side of Jesus and breaking their legs, but not breaking Jesus's leg and piercing him in the side instead. You wonder if they're looking at that going, whoa. I think they looked at it and said, Let's fix the mess up our deal. Right? Because at the same about the same time, they're casting the lats. Yeah. to both of those were fulfillment of prophecies by people that were not prophetic people to fill. We're not people of studying of the word, you know. And one of the things I talked early on in the week about was Judas You know, we call him Judas, the trader, but he was the first domino to fall in setting the prophecy emotion. Yeah. Yes, Jesus knew it was all coming. But for it to happen those 30 pieces of silver had to be exchanged. Okay, we don't like to think of a life that includes being broken better and betrayed. Well, that works. Um, yeah, it's a betrayal. Right? You know, and and we get all bent out of shape when it happens to us and prayerfully we're not doing it to others. But yeah, we've got a live on a really, really tough planet to try to walk out and While he promised us he would lead the way and he would never forsake us, he did not promise us that it was going to be a simple walk, or a simple journey and to think that a betrayal was what kicked off. The prophecies is just kind of telling. Well, you know, a friend of mine shared something last night we talked about the, the being laid off of work. You know, there's I've had several friends over the last few days have posted that they've been laid off work and some of them are taking it very well. You know, God's got something better, but some of them are feeling like a betrayal of their employer or the government or even if they work for a friend of theirs, the friend you know, but one of the things that she was a friend of mine Catherine Clift shared was she remembers her husband when he used to do his daily live worship podcasting said that God doesn't demote he promotes and God is always faithful and I was like, What a great reminder to all of us, no matter what we're facing, some of us may be still stuck on Friday still, and and you know, now dealing with the numbness of Saturday, but Sunday is still coming. And, you know, I, one of the things I loved yesterday and reading from john, you know, I, I found something new I liked from each of the Gospels. You know, Luke really was great as well. But john, when he he, we call him the narcissist of the Gospels. Jesus loves the one who Jesus loves, but there's a reason I mean, one of the things that That I found yesterday in the scripture that not really picked up on it said, Well, let me find it. I've got it right here. And I say I've got it right here. And Jesus was looking down is is near the cross of Jesus did his mother, his mother sister marry the wife of colobus cloak, ah, whatever. Sounds good to me, and Mary Magdalene, when Jesus saw his mother there and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her woman, here is your son, into the disciple, here's your mother. From that time on, the disciple took her into his home. Why would why wouldn't john, thank you as the favorite. Jesus just gave him the blessing of his mother and gave john the honor of stewarding Her to the end of her days. Yeah, I would. I would think I was the favorite too, wouldn't you? Well? Yeah. But also, that comes with a price. It does. He was the only disciples still standing around the cross watching all this happened. Right and he loved, right. So, again. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm I'm Jesus's favorite. He loves me best. Right. Will I follow him? Right? On Friday? Well, john 30 right in john finished strong. Yeah, Jesus, and even better question. Survive Friday. Love Saturday. Rejoice on Sunday. What are we going to do with Monday and Tuesday, right. I mean, really, you get through the battle, you survive it. You rejoice and you see the victories and you See what the Lord has done for you? And then what are you going to do go back to how you were living on Wednesday and Thursday? I mean, what are we going to do with it come Monday and Tuesday Are we going to forget about it and just awake earlier, they thought they were at the top of the world. And now their world is totally shattered at their feet. And so good question to all of us. So we've had Coronavirus still do. And I'm not at all downplaying the suffering, whether it's health wise, financially, emotionally, that people are going through, but we will survive it. Right. What are we going to do with it? What are we going to do on Monday, that carries the victory that Jesus paid the price for and that we're going to celebrate on Sunday. What are we going to do on the Monday after Coronavirus? Right, where will our loyalty and our and our walk and our faithfulness be man? Well, and to be quite honest, if you look at the beginning of the 1900s, we had World War One, we had the Spanish flu. We had the Great Depression. We had World War Two, all before 1950. Right? That's a lot to pack into a 50 year period. That's a lot. And so we as Americans, you know, even though we're hurting other countries as well, we as Americans, are countries country has seen difficult times. We have come through difficult times. That's the time known as the greatest generation, right? can't even believe what if now is the beginning of the next greatest generation. It can be they can boo but the choice is ours. What Do we want it to be? One of the things that we talked about? In? I think it was Matthew that just struck me so solidly is when the Jews were saying crucified, Jesus crucified Jesus, and parshas pilot was wanting to wash his hands of it. They were like, his blood is on our hands in the hands of our children. You know, it's, it's apparent the things we do today are the things that our children dream, reap the benefits or the consequences of its Yes, it's just a known fact. So what is it that we what is the legacy we want to live now is blessed the other day to be able to record a message for a conference Coming up for heartbeat international and just a little seven minute kind of like a TED TED Talk. And the topics had been picked way back. I don't know last September, probably. And it's it's so funny how God worked it out because I had submitted a topic for a workshop, but they had asked me to do this talk on a different topic. And they got crossed. And so what they actually did was put in the, all the paper, all the promotional stuff that I was doing my seven minute TED Talk. And it was a different title. And, you know, in my fleshly, I was like, Well, I can make this work. I can make that title work with the message I already know I'm doing. Well, the title of the message was living out a god sized dream and I kept trying to make At work with a message on, I'm just gonna be brutally honest on walking in your authority. Right? Well, you can make the to kind of coincide except when the Lord wants a fresh word, right? And yeah, that you want the cliff notes and he doesn't do that. And so you know, you you kind of go through it. I'm like, Lord, in the middle of everything that's going on. You really want me to speak about living out a god sized dream? Really? Um, I don't really want to be virtual so they can't throw anything at me. So this is a good this is a good thing, right? Um, but he just he took me totally off where we are but took me to Solomon. Hmm. And just you know that he asked for understanding and discernment and judgment and God wrapped it up in a nice sized bow and call it wisdom hmm and said for that I will give you Also wealth and honor. And I kept studying that message him guys don't get it. I mean, a Who am I to ask for a god sized dream in the middle of all this and be? I don't even know what to ask for if I did, right. And I got to I think it's First Kings chapter three got to verse 15. And it says, then Solomon awoke. And I was like, whoa, wait a minute. You go back to verse five, and it says Solomon was in given which is a place he shouldn't have been in darkness at night, which is kind of where a lot of people feel we are right now. Right. And God came to him in a dream. Hmm. So all the things that that we remember that Solomon recounted his lineage of from David and from God's promises and everything that's been sewn into him. We aren't smart enough, right? We aren't good enough. And if we really do want to live out a god sized dream, it really can start now. Right? And it's just having the conversation with God to know what his size dream is yes, because we can't. It's not about us dreaming and dreaming a dream and saying, hey, God, will you please bless this? It's about us. Coming awake, and letting him teach us what he's already sewn into us. You know, whether it's our setup, or our hang ups or whatever it is, he's already sewn it into us. And when God speaks things into us, he sometimes speaks things into us, that you may not even know is a possibility. Yeah, just because in I was thinking about Noah. Yeah, Noah builds an ark, because it's gonna be flooded. And it's never rained on the planet Earth up into that point. I mean, no wonder people were calling him weird and crazy and all sorts of things. But it rain had never fallen on the earth before. And he's building this thing that's supposed to flow. It's supposed to do all this stuff. So God will call you to do things that other people may look at and go, why are you doing that? That's crazy. And chances are if it's a god sized dream, they're going to do that because I find it's a fusions three, three this month 20 says now to him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we can ask. think or imagine Yeah, I can dream up a lot of really cool stuff. But God can do beyond write any of that according to the power that works within us all about His power, His Spirit working through US and US following where he leads in this season, in good season, in difficult season, right. And I guess there's a question for us. It's Friday, Sunday's coming, right. We're kind of on Saturday where it's kind of a still in between. What are we going to do with that time? If we really are supposed to shelter in place and a lot of us are home more and have more time on our hands? What are we doing? I mean, now's when you want to start a god sized dream. Well, you know heard a new partner. I heard a new episode of Tiger kings coming out on Easter Sunday I'm joking. I there is one coming out on Sunday but that's not an endorsement of any twitch that's not an endorsement by any means. I'm just saying you know how many people are more excited about that than the fact that the tomb is empty on Sunday night? Spoiler Yeah, I'm just spoiled it. I've read the book. I've read the ending. Truly, you know if we have a little extra time and you know, I know a lot of your listeners are, love the Lord and are living some amazing, amazing lives and dreams and ways of tuned on enough to to see the different ways they help. their communities and each other. And I mean, just some amazing women on here, just say, what are we doing with this time? What if we really did, let's just call it Saturday. And we spent the season of Saturday letting him awaken us to what he wants to do next. You know, I'm gonna throw my husband under the bus for a minute, just because he's not in here and I can do that. But early on in our marriage, you know, we would say some things like a lot of married couples do. We may say some things that maybe some of us that have been married a while do too, but the ratio Yeah, that's a whole different topic. We need a different expert that we say stuff to each other that we say in the heat of the moment that we wish we could have taken back, because it does cause hurt. It does cause pain. It does cause strife. But there was this phrase that my husband said to me one time early on in our marriage, we're having marital difficulties. And he said, I love you. But I'm not sure I'm in love with you. And that was rough. Don't get me wrong. We've gone to counseling. We've been married 27 years now almost 28 years now. We got over it. He and he is still alive. It's I'm still married to the same husband. You know, but the other part of it was me asking myself on a regular basis. Do I love the Lord or am I in love with the Lord? Because when you love somebody, you're like, Hi, bye. I love you. I mean, I've told the cashier Love you. Bye bye. But when you're in love with somebody, you want to spend time with them. You want to know what makes them happy. You want to do things for them that make them happy. You want to find a way for y'all to live your lives completely together. And that's a huge difference. And where I took offense to Mike saying that to me so many years ago, I'm thankful now that he said that to me, because I've had to dig deep and I've had to ask myself that question, as am I living my life as if I'm in love with Christ? Or am I living it as if I'ma Love you, bye. Oh, sorry, I thought we weren't gonna do any throw punches today. Huge, huge difference, you know, yeah, it's it's a difference in looking for his hand and looking at us face. Just that simple. You sit down to study your word to see what he can do for you. Or you sit down to study His Word to hear his heart, right? And see him face to face it it'll change your life forever. Well, there's there's been times the more and more I get into the word, you know, used to I'd read the word, and I'd write my little journal and put it have a whole lot of my thoughts in that journal. And I was super smart. Yeah, I was good at what I was doing right. But then, the other part of it is what I started realizing was when I was starting to write things in my journal questioning things. Normally it was questioning motives of my heart. It was questioning how willing I was to walk with God how big I was. Willing to dream with him? How if I could discipline myself in this area? Whoo, I hate that word. Discipline myself in this area that he would open up this area for me. You know, and the more disciplined I became, the more the doors were opening. And I'm not talking about religion and law. I'm talking about being disciplined to be more in tune with him in his calling. walking the street in the neighborhood, not as a hooker. Okay, walking the street in my neighborhood. She had died laughing at me right now. Hey, Jesus, loved tokers. Anyway. Oh, yeah, that walk in my neighborhood Street. Even if we're not able to be within the six feet with each other I can still share a smile. I can still share a Hello. I can touch bases with people in my in our Facebook group the other day. We have a neighborhood Facebook group, right? And here's my thing. There is a church song we used to sing. Back in the olden days they don't sing it so much because we think so much contemporary now, you know, in my church, but back I don't even think I've ever sung this in the church I go to now Whoo, that was a rabbit trail anyway. The song you they will know we are Christians by our love. Yep. All right. Well, if you're having intelligence, not by your intelligence, not by me telling you I'm a Christian. Because if you're having to tell me, then I probably wouldn't have never known it from your actions. Not by all the oh they won't know it by all The things we don't do, right? The somebody in our Facebook group post the other day was in our Facebook group for our neighborhood was posting about their next door neighbor. Right? Not one of the neighbors in the almost 300 homes in our neighborhood. Their next door neighbor was mad because their next door neighbor had called city out on them because their trash cans had been in front of their yard and was mad that they had called the police instead of coming over and having the decency to knock on their door and have the conversation and all this stuff on Facebook. So they put it on Facebook and then said in there several times and I'm a Christian and data and all this stuff. I'm like you're making it worse. No, you're a religious person. Please don't. Please, please don't tell anyone that you're a Christian. Just please don't. And then the other part is is we wanted to tell them to will. Couldn't you have gone next door and had the conference They're Christian. They're Christian they they everybody should cater to them. You know, my favorite along those lines, if you talk to any waitress, oh, you're about to push a button here. The the time they hate to wait on tables the most is when the rude people come in after church on Sunday because they're very rude. They're very demanding and they do not tip. No, they leave little pamphlets and little business cards with Jesus loves you on it and they don't tip their server. They're also probably the ones that don't tie the well at church either. I'm just I'm not judging. I'm not judging. I'm just putting it out there. We can do better. We can do better. Because here's the thing. Once the Sunday came, you know, I love it. I keep going back to john because not because it's the freshest But because he was just more in tune with the behind the scenes the things that most people don't talk about his favorite well I relate to him really well because I'm everybody's favorite but but john whenever he runs the team he stops and looks in but in true Peter fashion john notes that Peter grunts straight in all right. So Peters in there John's in there they go back. Mary's telling the other disciples all this stuff by now she seen Jesus she's had a conversation. But you know when she went and talked to Peter and john, she was trembling. She was wondering she was she was upset. It didn't really say she was fearful, but she was upset. But by the time she broke the news to the rest of the disciples, she was elated. She had seen Jesus. I mean, look When you are in a terrifying situation and even now if it's in your spirit, hers was audibly. You hear the Savior call out your name didn't get any better. It calms you instantly. It fires you up instantly. it verifies everything you've ever thought he sewn into you before told you before. And that's all it took was for the man she was in love with the teacher, the Savior she was in love with not just love distance, distant link to just in the craziness of the moment. Call out Mary. Well, I think I think it for me, you know, people like oh, you just like that it was a woman and you're into women empowerment and all that stuff. I said, There is so much more to this than that. I said, here's the thing. Mary had seven demons cast out of her. She had already seen what she thought was impossible become possible. Yes. Who better for Jesus to show himself to somebody who was already primed and ready to see what they believed was once impossible. I mean, how cool is that? I love it. You know, I feel like I'm that person. My husband thinks I'm that person. Which demon am I talking the hangry one. derailed that has lived less than a chosen daughter of the king. has heard his voice call me to himself and has forgiven and redeemed and restored and allowed my place of deepest wounding to become his place to show off what he can do, right? I totally identify with what you just said. Well, we have to take a quick break because you know, they like for the commercials to run here to pay for our radio time slot and all of that. So we're gonna take a quick break and when we come back, we're gonna dive into what happened from Sunday and beyond. Hey, this is Angie Monroe of the warrior Davis show broadcasting live each Tuesday 11am Central from globe life park in Arlington, Texas, login to hear real talk with real women that will empower and equip you to make a more powerful impact in the world each Tuesday 11am Central unfishable Radio Network joke Hey, this is Angie Lehman row of a leading moment show broadcasting live each Thursday 10am Central from the globe life park in Arlington, Texas login to hear amazing people share their stories of resiliency in business and life here how their leading moment can inspire your leading moment login each Thursday 10am Central on fishbowl radio network. All right, and we are back with Connie Wyatt Coleman. And we are having some great conversation. We've talked a little bit about Friday and Saturday and leading up to that, and we've talked a little bit about Sunday. But you know, one of the things that as we were talking about Jesus appearing to marry and then to his decision dipoles a lot of times it would have made more sense if you look at it if he would have gone from today's standard of people gone back and shown himself to the Pharisees the Pharisees the pilot and gone okay keep me coming I don't know we're coming out Oh, we have jumped the shark now. But you know he in my mind that's who I would have shown myself to you thought you could keep me down boom. And a lot of tastes today we see that people in today's society. I was down this is my comeback. I'm you know, you know someone's So said this about me and I defeated that and I have made myself this because of that you had made yourself squat. No self made nothing. I'm a self made man say, I make those all the time. There's a doctor of theology. That friend of mine that had a post up yesterday, and he says, Some of y'all aren't gonna like this. It's Dr. Mike Brown. And I really don't care. He says before I say what needs to be said I acknowledge the sacrifice and work of American people attempting to do all we can do to mitigate the virus. There has been cooperation, sacrifice, adaptation and behavior monitoring. Which are commendable and noteworthy and exemplary. I love my country and its people. Having acknowledged all that, well, here we go again, claiming all our hard work and sacrifices beginning to turn this virus around. just heard on TV how impressive we have been in lowing the projective death tolls. Meanwhile, men and women of God who are battling in the spirit against this calling millions to prayer and sounding trumpet for repentance, a return to the Lord and a humble petition for his deliverance are mocked and castigated. See I can learn big words and lampooned as antiquated, flat earth fools, believers who are praying, fasting and calling out to God or patted on the head like little ignorant trolls that must be tolerated until their kind will eventually be absorbed by the globalist monolith with all of this sublime And superior wisdom say that he's one of my people that writes some big words that I have a hard time with. And so, you know, he's, he says, quit claiming God's glory for ourselves less through our arrogance, we inform him we can handle these problems on our own. Romans 121 through 22, because that when they knew God, they glorified him not as God. Neither were thankful but became vain in their imaginations and their foolish heart was darkened. professing themselves to be wise they became fools. God forgive us remember us in Deliver us. You are refuge in our strong tower forever and ever. Wow. So my, I thought that was I thought that was a good deep word for us. To sit with because, you know, even the disciples could have gone. Have you seen my Jesus? Looky there, he did this and then he was boom, then he was back as well and leave it to Peter he kind of did. Right. Not in those terms, not in his own strength, right. But after Jesus was on earth and after he showed himself to the people and after he transcended that's when that's when Peter walked in and the power and an anointing fell. And I mean, yeah, he was. He might not have done it with the mic drop. Right. But I mean, he did he was like, just an airdrop. Yeah. Jesus Whoo, y'all killed. This is the Jesus who offers you salvation. Right? This is the Jesus who offers you eternal life. And Spirit had opened up and people could hear truth and understand truth and the huge movement of people coming to understand who Jesus was, and what he was here to do. Just exploded. Well, you know, so what are we going to do after Sunday? Well, first off, we we need to not be like Thomas. Poor Thomas. You know, he was the one that because he hadn't been there and seen Jesus when everybody else did. He he had to touching him and poke his hand into his side and all that stuff. Believe. It doesn't say any of the other disciples did that. So Thomas was a bit morbid we know that. But when when we did this, you know, I love that Jesus without saying he was omnipresent, showed he was omnipresent in this because if Jesus had come back and said, john called me and told me that you were doubting me and who I am, then Jesus would have said it there because john would have written it down. But Jesus didn't say that. Jesus came in and said, Peace be with you then said to Thomas, Put your finger here. He was laying Thomas that he already knew what Thomas needed to believe. We did. He didn't have to articulate that to Jesus. Jesus already knew. And guess what? He knows what each one of us need. Well, okay, so we're going to talk about Christian versus religious again. If I put out on Facebook or in a group that I have an unspoken prayer requests then if somebody it then I somebody comes to me and tells me that they can't pray for me because they don't know what what I need prayer for because it's unspoken. Why are you trying not to lab that that that they need to know what I need prayer for so they can specifically proof to God for me. She's got this look on her face to people like she's trying to choke back. Tears of laughter I'm waiting for how you responded. I'm sure I'm sure that wasn't one of those that I held back on the keyboard once. But basically, somebody had shared in one of our groups that someone so needed prayer, no, I shared that someone so needed prayer, please pray for her. And they came back and, and it was like three comments of you need to tell us what's wrong so we can pray the right way and ask the Holy Spirit to intervene, intervene the right way, and dah, dah, dah. It was just like boom, boom, boom, boom. And mine was very short and to the point, when more through better, we can do better. She keeps a weekend. I mean, let's be honest, spiritual abuse takes all forms. It can be sassy or ferrocene. smacking somebody over the head with a Bible verse instead of meeting them where they are, and loving them and loving them to a new level. And ladies, let's just say it, it can be women who mask prayer, as gossip beauty shop for your circles. Yeah. God does not need you to know the details in order to sit down and say, Dear Heavenly Father, Jesus help my friend. They need you. They're crying out to you, you know what they need? And I know you're able. Right? Amen. Right. I don't need another detail. There is nothing about my prayers that can really do it. It's just us petitioning together. Let's take it a step further. So obedience, if you need to know the details, the Holy Spirit is able to quicken your heart on what to pray for, right? You don't have to, you just don't have to write I can't tell you how many times that I have heard prayer meetings, turned into gossip sessions because we cannot just simply say hey, so and so nice. Prayer. In order for people to really truly pray fervently, we think they need to know the detail that you know, because her husband this and her daughter that and her son did the other end, right. That's a failure on Christians, brothers and sisters, to take prayer requests to the Lord seriously. And it's a failure on our part to abuse each other. With gossip when there's no need for it if we're truly relying on the spirit to pray. Sorry, you just hit a nerve. I cannot stand it. Well, you know, last year it's interesting. We're coming up on a year since my friend Kim passed away, and on the wee morning hours of a April 18. I woke up in the middle of the night, my husband and son were up in Arkansas with my parents and woke up in the wee mornings of the night and I wrote a letter to her in in Facebook Messenger, just letting her know how much I loved her how much I cared for how much you know, I didn't. I didn't know where she was in her medical crisis at that time to if she was even reading things or not. And I went back to sleep. After I wrote that letter. It took me a while to go back to sleep, but I basically cried myself to sleep that night after writing that letter. And I woke up the next morning, and there was a post on her page. That said, Please pray for my family. I had not verbally talked with my friend in weeks But I knew that day from that post on her and what God had started my spirit overnight that my friend was soon to answer death's door. I knew it. I didn't have to have her pick up the phone and call me. I didn't have to have her daughter pick up the phone and call me. I didn't have to get a text. I didn't have to get a detail about how the body had ravaged her system. The chemo had ravaged her system so much and done it. I didn't mean any of that. You didn't have to comment on the Facebook post inside tell us what's going on? No, no, no, you know, I didn't have to do that either. All I had to do basically about the time I saw that post, my husband called from Arkansas to tell me that we had lost another loved one in Ohio. That was our third death then since January and on his side of the family. He's trying to talk to me. As he's talking to me, he can notice that my voice ain't right. And I could just go, I said, I have this sense that Kim is dying. And he's like, Well, what do you know? I'm like, that she's dying. And he goes out of you know, that. I'm like, it's just a sense, you know? And it was just and she was the one that pushed me and challenged me and never wanted me to hang back to what she was called to, but she wanted to be involved into what we were doing. Yes. Right. And so, being in tune with her brought me in tune with God. being in tune with God brought me in tune with her. Last week. God I post, from a cousin in Georgia saw posts from a cousin in Georgia. Just saw one of the kids posted, please pray for my family. Instantly I knew what had happened. Before my husband even got confirmation of what had happened. I instantly knew because I'm connected with that mom. And we have shared our hearts with each other. And were to share each other's hearts. The Holy Spirit intervenes to communicate in ways between us that when we don't have the strength or the energy to pick up the phone and make the call, the Holy Spirit can say, hey, you need to text them. You need to call them you need to check on them. When you find that true, yeah. Some of us are better at doing it. I mean, I just yesterday I mean, I considering my older brother, right? And he posts to Facebook almost every morning. And I saw it yesterday morning. He had posted it Wednesday. But I just saw it. And I mean in the first three or four words, I could hear in his voice that something wasn't right. Right. And he was he was absolutely transparent on the post just that it had been a rough day and he's, you know, walking through this and a pastor friend had passed away, but there was just something deeper, it felt like, again, to your point, I know his heart, right. And so I just text shot him a text real quick. And I'm like, Look, I know, I know you're trying to navigate all of this and blah, blah, blah, and just know in this moment, right now. I'm praying strength for you. And I almost he texted me back He said, You know, when I posted that yesterday I had this, just this feeling just this over, was overcome with it. He's a little did I know, by 10 o'clock last night, or the night that he posted that deal, but 10 o'clock that mind. His father passed away. Oh my goodness, he got the call. He was able to get there and he had about an hour with his father. But that he didn't he didn't have to ask outside of that post. Say Anything else was going on? I had no clue his dad had been sick again. Right. But I just knew after hearing his voice that he needed encouragement Hmm, I had no clue anything else that had transpired. Didn't need to know right. The need to know just needed to know that I was reaching out for him. So can do what do we do after Sunday? Yeah. We live life with people. And when God put somebody on your heart, follow up with it, right or no follow up. I, I can't tell you personally, how many times you know, I've told you 100 times I thought before I took this job that I knew what spiritual warfare was, I thought I was prepared. I had no No, no, no clue, no clue. And there have been many times, just online that it's not something that people ask for prayer for necessarily, it's not something that you would ever put on Facebook, but just the, the battles that come and God has quickened to other people's spirits, right to to call or just to send it, send a text or, hey, you want to go have coffee, you know, just any little thing but somewhere along the way, the Holy Spirit put me on other people's hearts. When I needed it, and they didn't need details, probably didn't even share details when we went to coffee. Right? Not with a lot of them. But some of them just Hey, you just crossed my mind. I want you to know, you know, I love you keep going strong. Well, and, and here's the other thing that you have to realize even Jesus had tears to His disciples. He took his disciples within places. He taught lessons that they were all able to hear and do. But even when he went to have certain moments with disciples, there are some that were closer to him than others, that he confided in more so than others. And that's okay, too. Yeah. You don't have to tell everybody everything that's going on. You know, you shouldn't and Connie's one of those people that knows a lot of what goes on with If she doesn't know it right away, she'll know it at some point when we have a discussion. And, and I'm hoping that I always hope that I'm that friend to my friends whenever I'm doing that as well, that they feel that they can speak and open their hearts to me and tell me anything. And it will not shock me it will not hurt me it will not push me away. And that I will not think that they are less than a Christian. I will just love them as Christ loved them. You know, and, and we need to be that friend to others. I know. One of the ways the Lord has done that, for me is just for several. I don't even remember when he really put it on my heart but somebody was going through a trial and you know, just letting them know I'm there letting them know I'm there. I don't you know what, I'm available to you whenever you need me. You don't have to tell me a thing. You don't have to tell me what's going on. just text me the word Jesus, and I will know immediately, right? That you need prayer that you need me to intercede in your behalf and you need me to stand in the gap or stand strong with you. Hmm. And that's all I need to know. That's it text me the name Jesus. Right. And I have some friends that that take me up on. Right. And I'm thankful because I have friends that man, I can just sit and pray, please pray. And that's where the power is. Because, look, here's the truth when when we're in the middle of a battle, right? We may think we know what our prayer need is. Chances are just like right now, we don't know truth. We don't know truth of situation that we're in right now. And when we're in the middle of a battle, a lot of times we can see pieces and parts but we can't pull ourselves out. Have it far enough to see the big picture, right? And if I'm telling someone what to pray, instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to tell them what to pray, hmm, if they're praying for what I want them to pray for, that may or may not be what I need, it may or may not be what the Lord has for me. So if I truly want people to pray where the need is, I'll leave that up to the Holy Spirit as much as possible. You know, as you're talking about that, I started thinking about the movie, tornado, you know, cuz, and there's a reason for it when you're in the middle of the tornado. When they were they were driving into the storm to get the data from the storm twister. twister. That's what's called twister. Yeah, Helen Hunt. Yeah, she dropped, they dropped their driving in there to get all that data out of it. But to drive in there, they had to have the other one stay back to be able to tell where the tornado was going and where Their exit route was too close because they were too close and, and you know, even being in the truck, she's like cow, another cow. He says, I think that's the same cow. Because at that point, they just didn't know what direction was the right direction out and, and there's been times where I've been in the thick of it and I'm like, I don't even know how to pray for me, right? I just don't even know what I need right now. Sleep, sleep would be nice. When when Ali had the twins and we were all here. It was like Sleep, sleep would be nice, but you know. But then there have been unexpected blessings that have happened because what happens when you just say I just need you to pray and you don't give guidance to what you need prayer for. The Holy Spirit supernaturally opens. have so much more than you could ever imagine because you've opened your receiver up to receive more than you ever hoped was possible. Just kind of who he is. Isn't that awesome? Our God is a great God. My dad, he's kind of cool. Yo, I'm also loved that. After Sunday, the apostles went fishing. Yeah, they went right back to living their lives. I did. Not the same. They were forever changed and, and yes, Jesus showed up and did the miracles of the fish. And then like they said he in that I love me. Do you love me, Peter, do you love me? He was reinstating Jesus. Jesus was reinstating Peter at that point he was he was getting Peter to realize his role and his purpose in being the rock the foundation that the church was going to be built on. That Yes, you may stumble and Ball. But there's still grace. You're still love your there's still like place for you. And how many of us have stumbled and fallen in life? I know I have many times more than three. More than more than more than three. But you know, I love that too because he Do you love me? Yes, Lord, right Feed my sheep. Right? Feed my sheep. It's not about you, right? It's about others. But the whole scenario is, well, Jesus, cook them breakfast, hmm. And then told Peter to feed his sheep. We can't give what we don't have. Right. The Lord feeds us so that we can feed others. It's not about us. It's not about promoting us. It's not about a platform for us. It's about the Lord sowing into us what he has for us To live in us and through us, and then us beating others with that. Because if you're not spending time with the Lord and you're not in His Word, then I can say, hey, Angie, you know I'm rooting for you, all day long. I can share my great intellect, intellect with you. Be slim pickins more than one. What do I have that really offers you any hope? one thing and one thing only the love of Jesus Christ, right? He says it into me so that I can sell it into others into story. And that's just what did he win over death hell in the grave to do to feed us? Right so that we can feed others. But that's what the whole that's what living on a god sized dream is about. Right. It's it's not about us. It's never about us. It's always, always about sowing life into others. Always. Well, and, you know, when he's telling them wait, we joked all week there's so quit hoarding the toilet paper. It's all about it's not God, toilet paper. Sorry. But, you know everybody talking about spraying and praying but are they really pray in the Lysol spray and pray, spray and pray that you know, we make fun of the disciples being told so many times we talked about that earlier. But we've already talked about how we've been told multiple times, but when he goes in, he talks to the disciples and He presents himself to the disciples. And then he presents himself to Thomas he goes in there because you have seen me you have believed Blessed are those who have not seen any Yeah, believe me, and believe, you know, here's the thing. They had something a gift, john 316, you have a gift that I'm giving you, you know, my only beloved son. This is a big love gift I'm giving you It's better than a diamond ring girls. And I'm giving you this gift. Enjoy your time with him. feed off of your time with him absorb from him as much as you possibly can. Because you have no idea the legacy that your involvement in these three years with my son is going to have. I mean, they couldn't even grasp the fact that he was going to come back from the dead. Could you think they would be able to grasp that 2000 years later we would be sitting here talking about him. And then the most favorite one of all Yeah. And the Doubting Thomas. I mean, no, who would have thought it? No. And we're in a microwave society. Now we don't think about that either. No, we don't think that the decisions that I make today affect my children. We might think that far. But we don't even can't even fathom what the Lord has passed us because of us. Right, if we will surrender to what he's calling us to do. All right. You know, Kim Slater had her surgery and beginning of January, and she has had an opportunity to look internally both physically and spiritually During this journey, and I saw her on that podcast the other day, yeah, she is. With God's help she is slaying it. Oh yeah, she is she's doing amazing she, she has God gave her the word of the year this year as restart. And that was before January one came around in January 2 she had her open heart surgery right. And when I went and saw her The day after she came home from the hospital, she has a heart shaped pillow. And on there, the doctor drew it has the it's a heart like a Valentine heart shape. heart but it has a picture of a heart medical wise on there. It's what she could use to hold up against the wrists incision when she went to cough because it was going to be painful, right. But on there, the doctor drew and showed her what he had done internally on her So she could see scientifically what was done physically inside of her to open up her, her get blood flowing better. And it was amazing. The day after her surgery days after her surgery, just the color that was back in her that hadn't been there in years he didn't know. And just not knowing how bad she was until it happened. But with that change, it's had overflow effect. She has lost weight. She has started eating healthier, making healthier choices, learning about how to fuel her body the right way, learning that she actually likes to exercise. She doesn't like getting started. But once she started she actually likes it. You know, so she can just get past that little bump of starting. It's like me riding the bike with a stun the other A Day in the neighborhood. We go to one driveway, and he'd stopped so I'd have to stop my bike. And he was taking arrest like a six yea

Well for those of you that are joining us, we are here in the warrior divas real talk for real women Facebook group and we are doing our show we're adapting to our ever changing society. We are being emotionally connected in a social distancing world so Today, I am excited about the show we have for you We but before we get started, I wanted to let you know that if you're watching this in the group, you can invite other people to join us in the group to watch it. comment in the comment section, give a little like a little love. Leave one of the emoticons if we make it happy, sad or mad, any of that in the in the group. And I want to welcome our guests today and just a few moments, they're gonna let us know a little bit about themselves. And then as we go through the show, you'll get to learn a little bit more about them. As I said, I'm Angie Monroe, I am the host of the show. This show airs every Tuesday from 11am to 1pm Central Standard Time on fishbowl radio network and then you can find it starting at 3pm on all the podcast social networking sites. So if you hear something you like today or or you really want somebody else listen to that's the great way to share it. Plus, it'll be here in the group as well. So We're going to start off we've got Stacey up in the top we've got Janet Stacey wave. Janet under Stacey. We've got misty right next to Stacey to Janet and then we got cam. I don't know how it's showing up on everybody. thing. I guess mine's a little bit different. So getting yelled away. So I want y'all to we're gonna start with Stacey and kind of go in that order. So Stacy if you will, kind of give us a who you are, what your occupation is, where you're located and what you're passionate about. My name is Stacey Penny when I am the owner of Alexander medical Spa in Hurst, Texas. I'm also very involved in the Chamber of Commerce. I'm on the board of directors. I'm also on the board of directors for central arts of Bedford and Hearst. I like being involved in the community. That's one of my passions. I love helping other people. I like to be involved in charities. I also am passionate about learning. And I like to learn from other people. I like to learn from books. And I like to learn from doing. And this is my first podcast so I'm learning right now. Awesome. All right, we have Janet Janet, tell us a little bit Hey, Shay break out and dance or when I was live that and you did that sway app yesterday, didn't you? Yes, I had 500 views as people actually think I can dance that good which is really awesome. Yeah, I can't really dance that good y'all. Okay, my name is Janet Manor and I live in the middle of nowhere Kansas. I used to live in Texas and I miss you guys miss all the Texas hair and all the beauty of Texas women. And not that I don't love my Kansas ladies, but I do miss Texas and and I am retired but I still passionate about helping People, I I take a lot of phone calls and do a lot of praying for people still people call me for that a lot. And I teach a Bible study class of about 25 women every Monday night. So that's I'm really passionate about studying the Bible. I have the time, most of the time now to do it. And so a very busy life up until this point. So it's been, it's a blessing to be able to sit and sit in word and he's, we just did James Bible study. And so he's prepared us for a time as this to consider it all joy to be in this trial. That's where we are. And as women and all the people that we love and care for are going to follow our lead. You're just really that's the truth and our families. So trying to keep it all joyful here, and it's not being unrealistic, but now's the time to shine. Ladies, now's the time to shine. So absolutely, absolutely. Misty, how about you? Hi, I missed you. I'm the owner of picture perfect brows and beauty and co founder of expanded woman. And you know, I, I'm located but for Texas By the way, and I'm super passionate about people, connecting others and also just empowering other women building confidence. Those are the things and I'm very woman centric as well. So I definitely think we aligned in that way, Angie. Absolutely. So Kim, Kim get started. Marcel reviver talk about her so much, but many of y'all have not ever really officially met her. So this is Kim. Hi, Kim. I'm Kim. And I'm in Grapevine, Texas. And um, I, for a long time have been a small business owner had a graphic design business out of my house. Really Long time since 2015, I've been doing ministry and biblical counseling with women and I graduated last November with my certification to be a biblical counselor. And so, out of that, hopefully a ministry is being birthed. But, you know, God had different plans for how 2020 is gonna go so I'm just my word for the year was restart. Um, I know that I'm still very passionate about women seeing women healed, broken hearts restored, just walking in freedom and and the path that God has for them. So that's my true passion and how that shows up and what that looks like kind of ebbs and flows. As I think I'm growing and maturing in the Lord, so we'll see what he has for next. Yeah, it's interesting because without planning it tonight, we ended up with two of the ladies on the show that have helped me with my external beauty. We got misty and Stacy that have helped me with the external beauty. And then Janet and Kim have helped me with my spiritual beauty over the last several years of my life, and I tell the story about mending the soul all the time and how much I hated that class but loved that class. And Janet's the one that kind of I brought it up to her one day and she goes you're in my class period, you know it's done now I was like, Okay, what did I get myself into? So and then all that you've seen growing with divas impact the magazine The the beautiful flyers and all the thing, the logo for warrior divas all of that has been done by Kim. So pm is the previous creative genius behind all of that. So Mary, and I just get to come up with great, crazy ideas and go, Hey, friends, let's have some fun. But so, you know, Kim has been on isolation a little bit longer than the rest of us. And I'll let her share a little bit about that as we go on. But we were just talking about what is the purpose of the show? What are we wanting to do with the show? And yes, I'm not touching my face. I'm touching my hair. So don't anybody freak out about Corona on me because I'm putting my hair in my house. But, you know, our biggest thing is we want to be somebody that shines a light. So we realized that when you are socially isolated, you don't need to be emotionally isolated. And so we're going to start doing more and more things like this inside the group. Just to have a fun way Friday night, we're going to have a pajama party inside the group everybody show up, we're going to open up the zoom live thing. Let everybody jump on, we'll have a little dance party on there, we'll do a whole bunch of fun stuff inside the group. With that, just because moms and women married single with kids without kids, we all just need to blow off steam at some point, right? Ah. So part of what we're wanting to be is shine that light, we're going to do that and a lot of spiritual ways. We're going to do that in a lot of emotional ways. We're going to do that in a lot of fun ways. So Friday night will be instead of a divas night out it will be a divas night in so you will start seeing us talking about that later on this week. And we'll do one of those each week until we're set free and then we'll start having divas nights out because we'll be building relationships behind the scenes. So somebody somebody had a post up the other day, one of the single people I know was talking said, Wait a minute, you mean I actually got to talk to somebody and get to know them first before I go on a real date. So we're going to take the opportunity to get to know you and we want to talk with, you know, the girls here, I want you to realize that it's not just me in this group. There's other amazing women in this group that can leave things up and talk with you and encourage you and inspire you. And that's what we're all here to do. So this morning, I shared in the group, the john Maxwell video about leadership, and I was live streaming watch parties in this group and another group and trying to leave the notes in there and I do have the notes I'll put them in the notes in a file here inside the group from that section once I get them cleaned up to where other people can kind of interpret my notes as I typed them up, but they're still a little wonky and You know, it was great because he was speaking to leaders. Now tomorrow, he's going to be talking and tomorrow and to say he's going to be talking, turning adversity into advantage. And we're going to kind of kick that off tonight talking about what we as women are thinking and doing and feeling, and, and all of that. So what I want you to know is, we're women here, we may be sitting in a somewhat good situation. I don't know everybody's situation here. But I do know all these women, I don't know all their stories. But I do know all these women. And I do know that they are women that lead with love, they leave with graciousness, they don't lead with fear, they lead with joy. And that's why I was so excited that they joined us on the show today. So as we get going, we're going to start off with emotional health. So first off, we're going to do a temperature check of everybody on the call. So how are you Feeling what's going on? For some of us, it's day one for some of us. What, 90 Kim? Boy? So, um, you know, let's start. Let's start with Kim. Since she's been the longest Kim, how are you feeling? I you know, I'm actually feeling really good. I think that, you know, my journey started on January 2 with my quadruple bypass. So, I think I went through some emotional shock that kind of first month, like, I came home from the hospital on the fifth. And physically, I did great. But emotionally there were some really tough days. The it's not fair. This shouldn't have happened to me, like, you know, this was just completely out of nowhere and I didn't fit the profile and you Still, so, for me, it was sort of having to deal with a lot of the I'm having to come to acceptance with what is my new normal, I had to come to the fact that, you know, I don't know what my future is gonna look like and I gotta be okay with that now, you know, I don't know how this is, is gonna go it's a progressive disease. So new normal looks totally different. And then just even changing everyday habits I have to work out I have to eat completely different. And so there was a lot of that morning I can't eat a cheeseburger and my pepperoni pizza with extra cheese anymore. Took me a month and you know, but then I started discovering new foods, and I learned that I kind of did like working out and You know, you start to accept some stuff and roll your eyes when you said that can you rolled your eyes? here's the here's the funny truth is, it is like ripping teeth out to get me to start working out like getting on the treadmill. But I can tell about eight minutes in. Like, I don't know if it's the dopa mean or what happens chemically but then I start liking it and my 20 minute workout I'm noticing is going 3035 40 minutes like I'm, I actually feel good I feel better. I it's, it really is starting to shift and that was something I didn't expect at all. And then I even started lifting weights this week. And that was completely something I never thought I would be here year was restart and so in every way I've had to restart So it is kind of neat that here God sort of prepared me because I haven't been leaving the house that much I was social isolating already cuz you know you're immunocompromised and healing and and really restricted on what you can do for a while so, you know, I think the Lord was like No Let's prepare her for the corona virus apocalypse just a few months so you know that's where where I'm at I think my husband thinks I'm insane cuz I have bought enough food for the apocalypse and then even like ordering online the dog snacks and dog food so he called it the dog Apocalypse Now as they are delivering that but we're good over here in grapevine. Good Yeah, yeah. So So misty. What about you what's going on in your world I know there's you. You've been doing a lot inside our community as well to take care of the emotional health of some of our community. Yes, there's there's an organization that our chamber has called leadership hgb. And you're a part of the class this year and y'all had a big event planned. The next one, I had to get scrapped because of everything that's going on. But your group in your class just pivoted so beautifully to really attend to what's going on in our community. So I want you to talk a little bit about how it affects you, but what you've been doing to help those around us. Sure, sure. So um, yesterday, you know, worse I'm a salon and permanent makeup company. So yesterday we find out that we had to close the shut down, so Okay, no more livelihood. Don't have the option of unemployment. So, you know, there's a little bit of that fear factor, but I've really been through this whole thing kind of tapped into books and motivational podcasts and things to just kind of get my mindset, right, because you know how that goes. But I refuse to let the devil get me and let him fill me the women are so I honestly feel way more calm than I thought I would, knowing, knowing what's going on. And it helps me to help other people during this time too. So our group has put together another group that basically, we currently call it Corona virus. Press help us here AGV. So for this whole ATV area, and let me tell you a little bit about the project that we started off with. There was a mirror a wall that was painted on next to a company where some Hispanic people owned it and somebody graffiti I hate Mexicans on the wall. So our proud our program was to create a mural, which we did. And it looks amazing. The mural is the map of the HTV area. And we painted over the I hate Mexican. And it just turned out to be so beautiful. Unfortunately, we don't get to show it off yet, but we will eventually. But it is a great reminder of all the community resources that are available in the area. So our secondary thing was to have community resource fair at the same time for the mural unveiling. So instead of doing that, and on this coronavirus, hgb we took it virtual since we cannot really be together. Um, and basically we set out you know, different resources for people what's available, we set up you know, grocery updates and activity websites and all the different things that our community could come together and we made it a needs profile, so we can help those and there's another side project to where we set up little news people Paper stands and put products in there like toilet paper and toothpaste and and just some resources for people to just grab if they need it and also where people can donate goods as well. So it's been really good to help kind of take my mind off that of what's going on around me and helping others. Well, let me see what what's the HTV stand for? GPS you list Bedford? Okay. I thought much better the three cities. Yeah. So it's kind of like our little suburb area. Yeah. Yep. I just want to make sure I knew that was Sam. Yeah. And one of the one of the beautiful parts of it is if you're talking and somebody asked a question about the corona virus or different things like that, they don't want a lot of speculation in the group. One of the rules is the group is to cite your cite your source. So we just we want to make sure that we're citing our sources at all times. So that right there is huge for turning that to for what they're doing, because, you know, everybody can go out there and speculate and do random what is a conspiracy theorist? A lot of that there there is a lot of that so and I think john even said it today he goes first off if the media is your source you need to get a different source World Health Organization to you know, CDC go to places and get get it straight, quote unquote, from the horse's mouth so yeah, so Janet, what about your world? How is things going in your world? I know you've got a little space between the all the normal most of the time Yeah, well, there's still lines that are Sam's and there's still lines in our stores and people are still hoarding the toilet paper. And so I our little group, we we set up in the basement and we social distance to each other enough, but we're making masks You know, the ladies can so I can't so but we're cutting. We're doing okay. I mean, I'm so grateful for the you know, we have our phones and we can still talk and have this group and zoom and Facebook each other and FaceTime each other. I mean, what, what would we you know, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for that because emotionally and you know, if it all goes down, we're all gonna, it's gonna be a little more difficult, but this way we can stay connected and so I'm grateful that we have that, you know, that's really good. As far as I can see, we're a bunch of can i say i'm not going to use curse words but really a bunch of really tough American women. And that's starting to come out we have this Christian toughness I don't even know the warrior divas perfect because I just see a bunch of Lady she's got it together. You know, they, you know, people are sick people are isolated, you know, but they're still just kind of keeping it together and I'm just really proud of the people that I know in my life. I know there's other people who are struggling financially lost jobs, and they're still, you know, just carrying on helping their neighbor. It's just incredible, really incredible to watch. So I'm blessed in that regard because all I see is good stuff. That's all I see. I don't see any nonsense yet. So I'm grateful I got tickled watching the Facebook means or something the other day one of the guys goes I don't even know why we still have farmers and all that stuff. Why don't they just go to the store and buy this stuff that they want from the store? And then somebody else's if we have to, if we have to hunt for our food, I don't even know where Doritos lives. And you know, I love the tongue and cheek of it, but it's because of that tongue in cheek. I've had people reach out to me and going Hey, could you tell me how do I make mac and cheese with ah crap. You know, they need to know how to make their Is what mac and cheese they know they've got the ingredients for it they just don't know how to put it all together so you know trying to be some of those women that has some of these answers together not just mean not just you yeah but you know how to be creative and like my guests on my leading moment show on Thursday said he goes Guess what? He goes the store still have plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables on the shelves, because everybody's buying all the junk food all the company. Now don't eat junk food. You can. Yeah, and then another thing he brought up that misty I was going to tell you might be I'll send you a picture for it. That might be a good thing to post in your group was if it's got the wick symbol on it, that the women and children that are eating off of that wick that's only the only cheese and milk and eggs and things that they can buy cereal that they can buy. So if you have a choice, choose something other than that, but don't wipe Yeah, the witnesses are limited. That sounds like that is just huge. So I've been repeating that and shouting that as often as I can. So I just I took a picture of one of the wick signs the other day and said we need to post about this and I have it That's good. So I'll send you the picture lets you post about it and then I'll share it in post about it too. So all right, Stacy. So you're kind of in the same boat that misty is in yesterday, six o'clock and a face to face interaction. And then you know, what, what are you going to be doing? How are you emotionally handling this pivot? Well, I had already made the decision on Thursday or Friday that I was going to close before before we were closed. Because I have employees that have children. I'm all of them. But most of my people because I'm an anti aging are older. They shouldn't be coming to see me. Some of them are secret still mentioned He's messaging me, Hey, I'm working from home, can you can you get that treatment done to my eyes and we won't tell anybody, you know, just show up at the office. I still have that going on, because people want still want to get their stuff done. But I mean, I'm a mom and I have four children, I really don't need to get sick, what are they gonna do without me. And in the grand scheme of things, I have a roof over my head, I have food, even if my my business falls apart, which it won't. And I need to be here for my kids and my family. They're the most important thing. So I had already chosen, but I have gone through many different emotions throughout the last couple of weeks. I was kind of in the know about certain things beforehand because my brother works for a city and he's in a director position. So he was telling me about closed downs before they were starting to be announced. And so I was wearing before everybody else and I feel good right now I feel the things that I feel are like, I'm excited that I'm going to get to see my kids. I'm a working mom. I'm a mom that has owned a business for almost 20 years. So I have been busy. This whole time. My kids don't see me as much as some other moms get to get to see their kids. My kids are very what they were asking yesterday, where are you home so early? You know, why did you What's going on? Why is mom here? And so I'm anxious to see what it's going to be like when I'm here the entire week with him because, you know, they, they don't they only have that when I'm on vacation. I'm anxious to see I'm anxious to cook food. You know, I because I own a spa. I come home later. So sometimes a lot of times our food is you know what Costco made that my husband gets put in the oven before I got here. So I'm excited about getting to make some things and getting to do some art projects. That's what I'm Putting my focus in. Now I know, I have a list of things that I can get done remotely, to move my business forward. But every time I think about my list, I also think about, I know that I'm going to be okay. What can I do to help people that are probably not going to be okay? Yeah, that's good. There's so many people that work in a restaurant that are paycheck to paycheck. You know, I have a business savings account. I can cover my bills for a while. at my office. My husband works from home. He we're not going to lose any income from him at all. So what can I do to help other people? That's what I've been thinking about. Yeah. But I, I mean, I'm my, my biggest fear is, I don't know how to not be busy. I know I was thinking the same thing. I think how do I think that problem So maybe I can figure out how to be busy doing more things that are fun. The other thing that I think all of us are going to figure out how to be busy at home organizing and whatever else we can think of. We should people like me and Missy who take care of people all day long. We don't take care of ourselves as much. Right? So we should probably think about doing some self care. Mm hmm. Already on that? Yeah. Are you? Mm hmm. No, I watched your list. I can say I can tell you that. I used to be super busy. And I'm not super busy. Now. As much as I was when I lived in Texas. Also, I've had six months of my husband being retired at home. How's that? Because I'm worried about two weeks in with my husband. And there is an adjustment and he's a I'm married to a really nice man. It's still an adjustment. So you will have those moments, right, honestly. And I just say, I'm gonna go in my room and be by myself, you know, I just take that time, but you learn to do other things when you're not busy working or taking care of kids, like, I still help with my grandkids too. So, you know, I'm trying to do art projects and find things. I mean, I've already raised my kids and I'm having to rethink how do I do all this care at home for these kids. And so, but the business that you have when you're outside working versus coming home, I will say it's an adjustment but you're you guys are creative women, and you're hard working and so you're going to find things to fill your time you think, Oh, I'm gonna retired and I'm not gonna be as busy. That's not true. You just find different things to do because you're productive and because you like helping and because you like doing, you will find other things to do. I mean, that's just, it's God's good that way. He does give us other things and God help us all might instead of hit water, you might have to have some wine and let's be honest Vodka, I'm just kidding. Really. wine, take yourself, take your bath. But you know, God's gonna give you what you need when you need it. I mean, it's amazing. So you think I'm gonna have all this free time no other people are gonna come and look to you for things they're gonna call you. They call you and come to you because they know they can't. And they know you're going to answer they know you're going to cry with them when they cry, and you're gonna laugh when they laugh. And they know that if they call you you'll answer Now, I'm not saying being emotionally available for everybody all the time, but you find new things to do is I guess the point, you know, and and what you said God will find what you need when you need it. So the past probably three or four months, I've been training a new employee and then my employee of nine or 10 years is moving on and it's been really difficult. I've been working six, seven days a week, so maybe this is what I needed. Trying to stay home a little. I think the Lord, the Lord's just sending an adjustment, you know, we've been prepared for this time, as a time we're all prepared for this time we've been placed here. It's not a coincidence that we're all women and Esther's at this time. And you know, you'll find your inner Esther, and you'll, you know, God's gonna put people in front of us, and he's going to give us what we need when we need it. And even if you're a single mom, and you ask for help, just ask for help, because this older ladies are willing to, you know, even if, you know, we, we can watch them on a park bench. We don't have to, we don't have to be in the same room with them. But we can actually watch a kid for an hour or whatever. I mean, you can do that outside. We don't you can, you know, you can do that. So that'll work. Well. And I think another thing that a lot of people don't think about is because we have had this happen in the middle of all the social technology we have you're really not as alone as you could have been. So we have a lot of resources to reach out to talk to ask questions. And you can do it in private message, you can do it over email, you can do it on a Facebook post, whatever it is. And we met I went to a event last fall, where they talked about it was last fall last summer sometime where they were talking about abusive relationships. And I'm going to bring it up during this part because we're about shifting to family dynamics. And, you know, I'm married to a great guy. We've been in business together for seven years. I had my own business before that, but he's had his plumbing business for seven years. So we've worked together. So being home alone together hasn't really sunk into us. And he's part of the essential forces so it he probably won't be home as much as some of the other ones. But on the other side of it, there are women that are trapped at home. home with their monster, there are children that are trapped at home with their monster. So my my point to all this is, is if you're a woman, and you're listening to this, and you're trapped in a situation like that, we are the women that are saying, you can reach out to us, we are the Oregon, saying you can reach out to us. We want you to get stronger. We want to help you get a plan together, we want to get you out of that situation. We will pull all of our resources together to help with that. But we have to know that's what you're involved in and what's what's going on. And we don't want to put you in a date a more dangerous situation while you're trying to get out of that situation. So we will help find ways to do that safely for you and everyone involved. So, again, that's a little side note, but I feel it's important because when we start talking a lot down, you know, that's, I mean holidays is when domestic violence calls go up. It's just Police statistics statistics see YouTube can be a professional speaker. It is a real life statistic that that's when they go up. So it's it's something that I'm not hearing any of the media talk about or any of the police departments talk about. I'm hearing about the police departments being exposed to things and police forces dwindling because of all this. So therefore, it behooves us as warrior divas to do what we can and do our part and be that resource for women. So Alright, so we're going to talk about families you know, we're kind of almost empty nesters. Now, every time we think we're empty nester, one bounce back. I don't know what it is for Allie and cannon and the twins live a little bit down the road but they were here yesterday and they and today doing laundry because their washer and dryers best. It's so kicked them all out of the house before we got on the call tonight and then set myself to a shop to do some what we call arts and crafts time. So mainly I just need a girl time. We all need Girl. Girl time we all get it. How are you? How are you planning to balance the family time with your work time or with your own? Your own sanity? Like Janet hiding in a closet. No, no. So who wants to go first on that one? Don't everybody speak it? Well, I will. And I don't really have I decided since today was my first like real day off in the quarantine and that I was gonna relax today and just enjoy the day with my family. And you know, we ran real quick to the salon. I grabbed all the essentials that I could do self care on myself. So when it's not podcasting I'm gonna do some micro needling and you know things to make myself feel better and look better to, why not? before you make before you make decisions, make sure we talk about the other procedures that we need to do because we need to put them in. Okay? Put them in the calendar. That's where I was going with this is I'm going to kind of create, you know, a plan each day, I'm like, we're gonna work out we're gonna, all those things I'm not doing right now. That's what we're getting. And I would really like to take the time, like even a family workout and you know, spend some more time doing yoga, which I haven't done in a really long time, but I enjoy. So and I get to do more cooking because I'd actually like cooking for my family and things like that. So all of those are, I'm kind of excited. I told my my kids yesterday, I was like, Hey, guys, I'm gonna be home for like, at least three weeks, you know, probably. And my younger son was like, yeah, you know, he really misses me but my older one is He's like, he could care less to be honest. He's like, I'm in my room playing video games with everyone else. So it's pretty much the same dynamic. I have a feeling that my, my spouse will be probably quarantined as of Monday I'm thinking because he works in Dallas County. And they've, you know, done the whole, what is it, um, shelter you have to stay in your, in your house, basically. So, um, I have a feeling they'll be closed on Monday. So then he'll be home and we're not used to seeing each other all the time, even though I love him and adore him. And we're probably gonna have to keep our space social distancing to know. Like you do your thing and go play watch your car shows and I'll go do my thing and work for a little bit. Because I plan on not stop working. I do have things in place for that. So maybe spend a few times a few hours a day working and a few few hours a day spending extra time with my family. The new normal right the new normal Yeah. Yeah. Well Scott actually started working from home last week. So with me being immunocompromised he had got special permission to already work from home once this kind of started blowing up the week before so um, we've had a week now to adjust and so I have you know, my office downstairs, we set him up, his office is upstairs and with the door he can shut and it's gone real well except, you know, the 10 year old who doesn't understand that you know, she's used to when Daddy's home he's played ad so he's fun dad. So he getting her to understand that daddy's actually working eight to five, Monday through Friday and and what those boundaries are kinda look at I think it's been a harder adjustment on Avery than it actually has. Me and Scott to be honest with you, um, one thing I thought was funny in our world is trying to leave God outside if it's sunny we we've gone for walks, we walked three days last week, we went outside and walked, walked to the park, trying to let her play and be a kid. You know, everyone's gone home school crazy. And we just decided, you know, she's gonna learn if she's not missing anything. You know, we did a couple of things, but we just sort of let her be at home and learn how to FaceTime friends like this, this whole environments different for her and I think it's harder on a nine year old, who's used to that consistent schedule. If I get up I go to school. I'm at school till this time and then I have my activities and then boom, it's like spring break, and then everything she does got canceled. So for us, I think it was just letting her have a week to just downshift and deal with that emotional impact without dumping. Now learn. Honor, you know, so I think this week will be an interesting week and how do we now sort of bring in to all this mix the homeschool thing and make sure she doesn't fall too behind? And I just don't intend on being too overbearing about it. And maybe I'm maybe I'm weird that way, but I figured she's ahead. She's smart. Let her just kind of enjoy what she can and do. I mean, do the things they're going to ask you to do but i'm not i'm just not I always said I was arts and crafts. Mom, not school mom. So, you know, like who which one of us can even teach Common Core math. Let's just be honest about that. Like, I can't. So there's only gonna be so much as a mom, I can do anyway because I know. I'm not trained as an educator. So I feel like you guys need to quit coughing I'm getting nervous now. Far away. We're social distance. We're good. All right. Yeah. Well, well, Stacy, what about your kids? You've got school aged kids as well. How are they have they hasn't even hit them yet that they don't have school. And yes, let me talk. You know, I have two sets of kids. So I have a kid that's 29 and 19. And then I have kids that are nine and eight. So and I'm still a mom to both sets. It's a kind of separate though, because the two the 29 and the 19 year old just moved in together in a tent. To an apartment in Bedford, they really like it. And so like I've been helping them I was there yesterday still unboxing stuff. They've been there a month but they have some boxes that they still haven't unlocked. And one of them I will not say which one was waiting for mommy to come by and not the younger one to help him get his stuff on. I mean I'm still momming them I'm still I'm telling them to stay home I brought some masks and some gloves and some Lysol to their apartment yesterday. It's two boys. So having to be mom still mom them even though they're older without being overbearing, and they have been staying home though I'm so excited for them. Because usually they don't listen. And I I kind of taught them the things that they need to do for cleaning. And if they do have to go somewhere like you're not supposed, like even touching the thing when you're done. Getting gas, you really shouldn't be touching that you need to put so that's why I bought brought them some gloves, throw the gloves away after you get your gas before you get in your car. So I have that situation. And then here at my house I have my two girls that are nine, about to be nine and eight and set I'm sorry, eight and seven right now. They have for the entire week. They have been doing homeschool. But kind of haphazardly, you know. They've been doing prodigy and Adventure Time and ABC mouse. But starting tomorrow, they go to a charter school international leadership of Texas. They're actually going to be doing the zoom meetings and they're with their teachers. And we had to do all the technology today. They both they both their school was giving out Chromebooks to the students that don't already have them. We have Chromebooks. They we got them for cursive missed last year. My husband's in it. He thought they needed to learn how to use a mouse. So he bought them Chromebooks. And so they're going to start their zoom meetings. I'm worried about my eight year old because she's dyslexic. And she really needs some extra care. But her dyslexic teacher is going to be on zoom meetings with her too. So I'm excited to see how it's gonna happen because I know it's a new normal for them, too. They have this charter school has 20 schools throughout Texas. So they're doing the zoom meetings with all the schools at the same time. I'm wondering how smooth it's going to do the first day we'll see. And I'm still going to be doing some work also. I'm still going to be on my computer. I have an internship program that I'm working on for the Chamber of Commerce. And then recently, we still have right you can we have time to work on that missing. And then Angie and I are also we are on the leadership Alumni Association, the same leadership class that misty is currently in. Angie and I have already been through the leadership program. And we are on this leadership, steering leadership alumni steering committee. So we're going to try to help put social media together helps steer our alumni helps steer our alumni, we can make sure that our alumni stay still engaged in the chamber after they've gone through leadership. We want our alumni to be leaders in the community. We want our alumni to be part of boards, board of directors in hcb area, and we want them to be the leader. So Angie and I are trying to figure out how to still work on that. A little foreign to them and and challenge them both a little bit. And so I'm going to be working on that and then I like I said, I don't know what I'm going to be doing here. busy. I don't I'm going to keep myself busy doing things I'm not sure how it's gonna go. It's It's my mind is like, do I set up a whole plan of all of these art projects that we're going to get done? Do I cook like so many meals? I haven't decided which things I want to be busy doing. I know. I'm going to figure out how to be busy though. Oh, yeah, yeah, I think we all figure that out really easily, don't we? Yeah, yes. What about you, Misty? Oh, how to how to figure out how to not be busy. Well, what about the kids? What are they doing and shifting through right now? How are they? How are they still on spring break. So they really are, and Burnsville has not figured out what they're doing yet. They're trying Monday, we're supposed to pick up Chromebooks for those who don't have access to social media or like tablets or internet and that type of thing. So we're we're just waiting for them to give us more direction. Right now they're just having a free for all to be honest with you. They're playing video games are eating all the snacks you know that a house in the home that have a 12 year old and a 17 year old boy and then a seven year old stepdaughter so she's here this weekend hanging out with us and that's really cool because normally we don't get to have her all weekend we only get to have our own Sundays and one one night during the week so this will be some extra time we can all spend with her too. Also, I just signed up enough to do the snap ology Lego daily challenge. You seen those but so he made the pirate ship today with his Lego so those are things trying to keep him busy, but they're bored already. I think. Yeah. Well Janet, you're kind of like me, you you've kind of moved on from the little kids at home but you also have grandkids that are around and I know I know Alyssa was doing homeschooling so but Alyssa is also expecting to So that's how I'm a baby in about eight weeks. Yeah, so you're gonna be probably doing some pitch hitting won't Yeah. So yeah, it's it's that new that grandma role which I have adult children, that's still the mean, which I can totally relate to. which is way, way more than I thought it would ever be. It's kind of interesting, but I will say it's just a blessing to have grandkids and we're expecting a new baby boy and I've been able to hear somebody come in here now that I'm talking about these grandkids. And I'm surprised they haven't come in yet. Honestly, I am too hot. And so I don't know. We're finding new things to do. I'm, I'm stealing all the ideas on Facebook and people are putting so many amazing ideas out there. We're doing all that we're just praying for some warm weather. So we can kind of get outside here in Kansas. It's still really cold. We have one nice day and then we have three or four bad days. So I'm waiting for that. But I think getting outside helps you guys. We're not we can get outside, we're allowed to go outside. It's like you can't get outside. I think sort of everybody doing the electronics, take a walk, do something get outside, it's healthy and mentally. And I know one of the small towns here, they were putting the bear the stuffed bears in the windows so that people could go around and find the bears the little kids, find the bears. But find something to do, you know, go on a scavenger hunt, and give them a list of things to go outside. outside. Is that your best bet for a while even if it's cold go outside. I mean, that's, we've missed having our kids outside, they're in school all day. You know, they go do things all day. Now you have an opportunity to kind of reset, like kimsey word, you know, reset, it was a reset, that we use that restart. We said, yeah. Yeah, we had to reset after 911 and we survived all that economically. And we you know, we lost a A lot of stuff after 911 My husband was a pilot that got, you know, furloughed and, you know, this too will all pass but go outside. I mean, family wise, mentally wise, you know, do something outside and you know, the sunshine is good for you the virus dies at 180 degrees I don't know. Right? It's vitamin D and vitamin C are anti viral and so mentally get out some put it on your list to go outside every day and take a walk, do what you have to do, but get them outside. I think it's important. Well, part of the arts and crafts Mike's doing is I bought a boat last summer that's my boat. It's not his boat. It's my boat. It's it can be ours but it's my boat. And so he was just doing some of the last minute touches to make sure it was boat ready because that's one thing we can do. We can go out on the lake we can go in that's socially distances you from quite a few people just being out on the lake. One of the other things that I'm glad you brought up the 911 thing because I've been thinking a lot about that this week. You know, there's a our kids Janet's and my kids and they see you've got one up there too. They were born. And they were in school when 911 happened, you know, so they, Janet and I have children that serve in our country and And me too. I'm a part of a military moms group that has paratroopers that are coming back to the states that are going straight into quarantine. They're not getting the big welcome home. They're not getting all of the pomp and circumstance that goes on with that they're going here's a tent and they're like, I just came from a tent. So the ones that go through the tent, they they're, they're putting them into isolation, barracks and things like that. But you know, Cody, my son is supposed To be leaving the country at some point this week, I was supposed to be in Orlando from Friday until this following this coming Friday, from last Friday till this coming Friday. And then I was going over to spend time with Cody at his duty station before he left the country for six months. And so I had to change tickets. And as I'm changing the tickets, I'm already having the emotions well up about 911. I came out of nowhere. And when the when the planes stopped flying, I didn't sleep for those three days. Because I was I've grown up in ulis. I'm so used to hearing the planes fly, that when the planes weren't flying, it was eerily deafening to me. Yeah, so when the first pilot took off from DFW Airport, I was one of them out there with the guy that had the big American flag and we were listening to the air traffic controllers, talk to the pilots and send them off. And, and so we knew when that happened that our world was forever changed. And we're already we've we immediately saw changes in how security was done and how things were handled security on the cockpit doors, TSA, all of that immediately changed. And one of my friends that's a writer and manages a lot of freelance writers for Thomas Nelson publishing, put out a suggestion the other day to start making notes of the things that you see that may be changing. And I thought that was a really good thing. So in the industry, you're in, in the in your child's life, what was something that was so normal, a week, a month last year, that is either not going to be around or something abnormal. Moving forward, we've been talking about putting Chromebooks and students hands in every student having a laptop or a tablet for years. And it takes a crisis like this to realize that we should have stopped talking about it and just done it. You know, so what does that look like? What are some of the things? I'm going to throw out? One of the things that I thought that I've already thought of with universal pushing movies straight to DVD, I mean, not DVD but DVR, straight to the streaming services, there may not be a major need for theaters anymore. Big Box theaters, wow. At least a drastically reduced number of them. So what's something that you can look at that you're looking at now and you can start thinking maybe it's going to shift medical supplies. Right now China makes most of our medical supplies and I was told by someone who their company, she's a salesperson for the company that that supplies hospitals. And before like, she was telling me Probably, I don't know, a month and a half two months ago. Make sure you buy all the needles that you're going to need for the next year by all the gloves you're going to need for the next year. She said, we're not even telling our hospitals this yet. But there's one ship coming from China right now full of medical supplies, and that's the last one for a while. She said it, it's going to be changed for an entire year. And because they're not working, they're not able to work. They're not making medical supplies. And so now we see here, we are incredibly dependent on China. medical supplies also they they do a lot of our medication too. They do a lot of our What is it called? The one that is not the brand name. Generic Jay did a lot of our generics. And we might run out of certain medications because they do a lot of our generics. They make most of our Tylenol Not the time, like the generic Tylenol, they make most of our generic generic Tylenol. So what I see 85% of her antibiotics, right? So like, we change that, hopefully we change it, we learned the hard lesson and we change it now, well, then I was thinking ramp up, you know, we just ramp up and we do what we do. You know, hopefully that's gonna happen. Well, and we the, the other issue is, are we willing to pay more for it, because the labor in China is much cheaper. And if we make it here, we're going to have to pay our workers enough. So that we can, it will have to pay a little bit more for it because we have to pay our workers so that they can live in the United States. So that's an issue. But I think that we were as a country, we're going to have to look at all the things that were dependent on other countries, and we're going to have to see what we can do to not have this happen to us again. Yeah, Misty Kim. What do y'all have to say? Something that Scott and I were talking about is how, like we had never done online grocery shopping. Like you know, I buy stuff from Amazon but I'm talking about like, ordering your food from like imperfect foods calm or like ordering all your meat from Purdue farms.com like changing the way you grocery shop like we have had, cuz I'm immunocompromised and it's not good for us to get out at all. I'm in that super, super crazy high risk group. So we've been having delivery, delivering all our groceries and like today, we got an email from one service saying that they've had to suspend new members because they're so overloaded right now with new people and I'm thinking wow, this this could come pletely change the grocery store industry because we're so used to going out to the grocery store to get stuff and how many of us will come to realize that we like having stuff delivered on Friday because I go so far, I think it's great. It's not much more money than you know, going to the grocery store. And it's super convenient to order your groceries over three days, and then wham, it shows up at your door. So that was one thing we really thought about how this could really just be a societal change of just like people ordering groceries online, and then maybe there won't be a storefront on every corner the way you see now. Yeah, I think Walmart pickup is the best thing ever invented. Yeah, I love it. Well, like even before, if you haven't done that you need to start. No way. Don't Well in our neighborhood, we live in a older established neighborhood. And it was built when the in the 60s when people were coming in building the airport here, so a lot of pilots and air traffic controllers and things live in our neighborhood. And on our street. There's like three of us that are new newly to the neighborhood. The rest are all original homeowners. So it's it's an older generation and older demographic. And they've kind of gotten into the Facebook group and mastered that Facebook group but some of them are starting to get out there and master that online ordering. It's challenging them to be technology savvy right now. But the beautiful part is is those that are younger in the neighborhood that are going to the stores will say, I'm going to go to the store on Friday. If you have a pickup, put my name down, I'll pick it up for you still keeping some of our older neighborhood neighbors from going out into getting getting out and Not being where they don't need to be so it's really interesting then you talked about the bear thing the other day while ago we did the Shamrock challenge in our neighborhood for a scavenger hunt. And then we we started seeing the kids doing the chalk art out on the on the driveways sending positive messages to people. So you know, it's it's finding different things. Missy What do you think about you anything you can think of that shifting or changing that? Well, I see to like two sides of it, you know, you see the people that are kind of going crazy and taking advantage of the situation but then I also see more people being kind and you know, thinking of others before themselves and like the you know, compromised or the older people that they can they can help them you know, and even yesterday I had made a video on Facebook just letting everybody know I had to close down and you know that we'll be back and and you know Kind of reassuring them, but I got more reassurance for myself is like yes, you will be back and you're going to be stronger than ever. So just that support of people is just pretty amazing. I really have found that and I think it was always there but people are so busy. Yeah, that we don't take the time to share that stuff. So good, positive, that's a good positive thing. You know, if we just come back together, we were divided in a nation, maybe we'll come back together a little bit more. Seems like in times of crisis, that's what we do. Right? And I'm just do you remember after 911? After how, one day, the next day everyone had a flag out? Right? Everyone had a flag out, come together. Everyone was coming together. And maybe that's what is gonna happen right now. Because I'm seeing a lot of people want to do things for others more than ever. Well, and we're seeing we're seeing bipartisanship. up like we've never seen since 99. I mean, we're seeing a lot of things. They may not agree on a lot of the other things still, but they're putting that to the side, they're pushing all that to the side to be able to take care of a nation right now. And the the beautiful part is what I'm seeing on social media is, like you said, people are sharing positive encouraging messages to people. Especially when they see that they've got the resiliency to come back. You know, there's, there's, there's a few people that I know of that have gotten on Facebook and light of messages of what's happening in their area and stuff. And they're blasting you know, and you can tell they're angry and they're bitter and they're in there getting all it'll be okay or it's happening to everybody. You know, you're not in this alone and they're they're getting better back. It's, I guess the beauty thing I want to remind people is in times of crisis is when your squeeze I can't remember if john said or one of the other people said that the virtual thing that I shared with you all today, those sessions with john, he allowed us to share publicly. But behind that we've got all the other trainers that are part of the organization doing live videos with us all day long for the next three days. So I've been watching a bunch of videos live this week. But one of the things I said is when you're squeezed in a time of crisis, what's inside of you is going to come out and so you're getting on and good or bad. Yeah, good or bad. It's coming out. And the What are you made of? Are you made of a I'm defeated? This happened to me mentality Are you made of a you know, pull your bootstraps up Rosie the Riveter we can do it type mentality. And, you know, I'm a Rosie the Riveter lover. So yeah. You know, I'm one of those that I don't think this happens to us. I think we find ways to reinvent ourselves in and reestablish ourselves and we find times during this time to, to be leaders in that dark world we shine that light, we say, you know, you may not feel like you've got a safe place to go. I've got a wing right here. You can take shelter here and bit here a little bit. I'm going to push you out of this nest because you are going to fly even if you have to grow your wings on the way down. You are going to fly you know. And that's, that's what I get from the strong women. I surround myself and all four of you are the strong women I've surrounded myself. Janet has said it to me before there was tell somebody, what was it a while back. The when the twins were born, they just turned what six, so six years ago, I was kinda in the middle of it. I was Sleepless in Seattle or Bedford or her Wherever I was, I was, you know, brain numb. And I think Kim might be able to relate to this a little bit to it. I didn't know enough to reach out and ask for help at that time, because I was just doing what was in front of me. Yeah. And Janet said, you know, I've told she told me flat, because I've told you before, and I'll tell you again, all you have to do is ask for help, and help will be there. But I was still in my own mind of will these people relying on me, so I have to be the stopping point. I'm not the stopping point. I'm a flow through point. Yeah, that's good. We have to be reminded that we are a flow through point of the Holy Spirit of our love of what we fill ourselves with so that we can flow out to those that we are feeding and and loving and nurturing. And we can't nurture something if we are not in a nurturing mindset. It's so I used to imagine that A bunch of people that walk around those little squeezy stress balls, eyes and the ears pop. Like everybody is this Yeah. Yeah, you know, even me, I know I I've touched him with cam quite a bit right when she first got home I went and spent days there and stuff like that. But then even this week I went, Oh my god, it's been a week since we've texted What is going on? Why has she not reached out to me? Is everything okay? And her well, why haven't we gone to? Lee? I'm like, Okay, first off, am I being a bad friend? Am I this? Yeah. But I have to put all those negative things are behind and not say Well, I didn't talk to her this past week. She's probably mad at me because then those mental games will play and then you won't reach out and then you're emotionally distancing and isolating. And they're over there. Just going. No, thanks. It's been good. I was wondering where you're at. I just knew you'd circle around when you weren't busy again. And I was here like, Oh, well. How many I know I'm not the only one that has ever done this? Because I have heard other women tell me this. So, um, you know, as we're talking through some of the some of these, you know, I want to start looking at what are some of the best you have seen in people through this. This scenario, we talked a little bit about how our jobs are changing through all of this already. But you know, what, what are some of the best the most positive things that you've seen in people? Through this? We were What was it? Stacy, we were on a call the other day for the leadership alumni. And, you know, we've got some people on our steering committee who were on the front lines of this and they're just exhausted, right? When they're being told and I'm not saying who they are, where they're from, but when they're being told to pack a bag to bring to work because they don't know if they'll be able to go home. Right. You know, And this is just the beginning of what we're expecting to be a bigger surge and you know, so you know, what are some ways that you could you see positive coming out of it? I know there's other people that are what is it one groups donating every you can go on and put your beer order in. But if you put throw in an extra beer, a four pack or a six pack to your order and donate it to the Fort Bragg soldiers that are coming. That's hilarious. I'm like, okay, that's funny. But you know, what, what are some? What are some of the other things that you you're seeing and hearing? One of the one of the things that I thought was awesome, is we talked about it earlier is when our leadership htb, pivoted, and decided that they wanted to start a group to help the HIV community by posting the things that are most needed. And nobody told them they had to do that. Nobody told them that since their event was called closed down that they had to pivot, they just made a choice. And that's what happens whenever you start building leaders is they lead and that's what they did. So the first thing that I did when I was probably the seventh person invited in the group, and if you guys don't know, I am the, the sponsor of that group. So yes, I am the sponsor of leadership. So she's, she's a black, so I'm like, no, no. So I'm like, when I when I look at it, when I see them doing such great things, I get very excited because I'm invested into it right now. I get so excited about creating leaders and when whenever I get to help, and this is what they decide to do, I'm excited. So I was like, almost in tears, like, Oh, my God, look what, look what they're doing. And I immediately started texting. Rochelle Ross, who is the steering committee leader and said, Oh my god, do you see what they're doing? Like, this is great. Do you see What your Do you see what your what your teaching is making happen in our community? So that that's one of the biggest things that I've seen. And, you know, the last time I looked, I don't know how many people you have in the group now, but there was almost 1000 people in the group when I was blessed. Let me check Where's like under there was like, yeah, there was one I was looking it up 1.4. Okay, so what I mean, that's awesome. All of these people that all live in the HDB area, are able to look and they haven't categorized it into sections. So you can see restaurants you can see this you can see where you can get food, if you don't have food. You can see what food pantries are still are still giving you food. I mean, I just thought that that was so awesome. So that was one of the great things and if you look at the feeds inside the group, people that know nothing of what hcb leadership is are talking discussing. I invited one of my clients to the group who's been living in hers for like 30 years and she was very She posted something and she she got into message. Did you see how great my posts and to see all the people that were? So I mean, it's bringing people together. I thought that that was really awesome. And then and then I also see, like everyone is really trying to go to these mom and pop restaurants and buy food to go local. So I really love that I'm doing it also. But I think that that's great. Those are the things that I've noticed. Yeah. Here's another thing. You know, there's a lot of us who have diabetes, there's a lot of us who have high blood pressure. There's a lot of us who have asthma, those underlying health conditions that make getting the corona virus, you know, more dangerous for, you know, it's going to be more than a cold it could go wonky real quick. So what I've seen is just even after two months of friends and church ladies and just people rallying around my family through the heart stuff you know we didn't want for a meal for about eight weeks. Um we had more food and we knew what to do with we had friends cleaning our house take down our Christmas decorations. I mean you name it it was we had handyman come over and help Scott with cocking a tub. I mean, just you name it, it was done. And those same people now who know that I'm immunocompromised are texting me. Hey, I'm going to Costco. Hey, I have a friend run into Sam's Can I drop food off at your front door. So I just think seeing how humans are so generous. And kind and sweet and people are sending me, you know, we're still sending you extra prayers during this time. Just even that is just so touching and and you know, it just got me thinking, How can I reach out no knowing I'm stuck at home so now I'm with food delivery service. I've texted my neighbors and I'm like, Hey, we're having food delivered on Friday. I'm placing an order this day. Do you guys need me to order you guys anything so trying to help in the way I can. But just if you're able and be mindful of your friends who might be having to isolate more that just even going to a grocery store puts them at risk, right? Because I can't really leave the house at this point then, you know, my husband is stuck and because if he goes out and gets it and brings it in. So being mindful of the immuno compromised and how just if you're going to the store check in, or if a neighbor has run out of toilet paper or needs eggs, be willing to go put it at their front door, just be mindful of that stuff. And I've just seen it in spades more than I can even say, we have felt so blessed and just seeing God's goodness through human beings in such ways I never expected over these last couple of months. Well, and that goes back to those boxes that you're putting out to missing because you know, there's some people that may never ask for help or want to go to a place and get help but that they can go open that box nonchalantly get out what they need are, you know, I had somebody what say, Well, I only had some beans. So I went and put the beans in the box and I grabbed the the whatever Else it was that they needed, you know, and I was like, well, that's awesome that that what you needed was in that box, you know, and maybe somebody else needed those beans, you know. So finding a way to love on people where they're at, you know, with whatever skills or talents you have. Janet, I'm gonna come to you next, but I'm going to preface it with this because on Monday, we were hearing a lot of people, Mike's one of Mike's friends from high school took one of those blue rolls of paper towels, and he is he makes knives, homemade knives. And so he cut one of those rolls in half and he goes, look, I'm making toilet paper, you know? And Mike's like, Yeah, go ahead and do that. Because, you know, once they start flushing that down the drains it's

Hey this is Angie Monroe of the warrior divas show broadcasting live each Tuesday 11 am Central from globe life park in Arlington, Texas login to hear real talk with real women that will empower and equip you to make a more powerful impact in the world each Tuesday 11 am Central on fishbowl Radio Network Hello, and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe, our show is specifically that was right I said specifically, incorrectly because I too can mess up from time to time. It is specifically designed for our divas;  divas is an acronym for Destin inspired victorious accountable sisters. And we will be bringing guests on our show who will help in our mission to equip and empower a global community of women change agents as we make a positive impact in the world we live in. When we started divas impact four years ago, we quip that we wanted to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others. As we've progressed, so has our thinking and out of our intentions, we want to talk about things that are impacting women. So this means we talk about faith, family, fitness, finance, food and a lot of other words that don't begin with f. So today we welcome Laurie Vaughn speaks of lbs consulting loriann speaks is an expert in the area of speaker and author support. She amplifies the visibility of authors, speakers and messengers. While they do what they love. Speak. laurieann has helped spearhead multiple best selling book campaigns, editing proofing, through to launch and social media marketing to help authors create buzz and momentum throughout social media platforms and increase their Message worldwide loriann and her team have made it their mission to empower speakers to deliver their message by handling the rest of the details. Prior to starting their own company loriann had over 15 years of professional experience supporting a top 100 thought leader as she built her businesses. Welcome to the show. loriann Thanks so much, Angie. It's a pleasure to be here. Well, I personally know what a busy busy lady you are. And you've had some major projects you're working on for some of my friends, and you've done some work for me as well. But before we get into all that, what I want to visit with you about who you are and how you got here today, is that all right. Yeah, totally cool. Yeah. I love that. So if you can just kind of give us a backstory. You. You said you work for a thought leader for 15 years. I'm sure there's things you did before that. I know you're a mom. So you're one What are some of the things that kind of led you to where you are today? Well, great, yeah. Yes, I am no spring chicken. I've probably had four different careers in my lifetime. I started off in my teens and 20s being so politically involved and got my degrees in political science and economics and wanted to be in politics. Thank goodness and thank God up above that he had other plans for me, and I am not there now. So I did that. And then I became a recruiter. And when the when 911 happened, my recruiting business went to hell in a handbasket. So, I started working for this thought leader, and I was hurt for all intents purposes, girl Friday. office manager, you know, gatekeeper. And I spent 15 years learning the business of speakers and authors. And so, but really, once I had children my focus, you know, I, like I said, I started off wanting to be, like President of the United States, you know, the first woman president of the United States. Then I had children. And I realized, Oh, this is, this is what I'm good at. This is what I love. And so, when you talk about where was I, and how have I gotten here, once I had children, the business kind of went as a means to an end instead of being you know, the end all and beall and being a mom was the number one thing in my life. And, and so, you know, I did I I worked at A regular job so I could be mom and Girl Scout leader and room mom and, and be able to do all the things that I wanted to do as a mom. I love that. Sorry. I said I love that. Yeah, you know, and I and I wouldn't have traded it for the world. You know. I'm kind of glad that I never really got into the whole corporate america thing. But what got me now to owning my own company, though, is that back in December of 2017, I was laid off, my boss decided to sell our company, and I knew it was coming. But But I decided I was just going to stay until the end because she needed me. And and, and so and I knew there wasn't going to be much difference between hitting the the, you know, employment market at 59 or at 60. I was pretty bad. You know, they're not going to be doing well and I and I just sat there and went, Okay, let's just see this through to the end. And once I was laid off, it became very clear to me that once again, corporate america wasn't going to be my, you know, my journey. I must have sent out 100 different resumes and never got a call, never got a call. And so I knew if I was going to continue to work, I better start my own company. And I did and I'm so glad I did. So glad I did. Well, I love the part that you said, you know, you saw the writing on the wall you saw she was retiring, stepping away and and but you stayed until the end. I think there's so much that's lost in that finishing well, moment. You know, you you worked with this woman side by side, you served her. You served her well over the 15 years, but you also finished Well, we With her and and that's got to be a sense of accomplishment that many people miss out on today. A lot of people see the writing on the wall and they're like I'm getting out while the getting out good button right. But it's finishing well that that right there is a good wealth of information for people to grab ahold of because we've been in a couple of situations when we've been with a church that was closing its doors or a company that's closing its doors, in that finishing Well, it feels like kind of like you put your kid to bed at night, you know, you kind of you kind of made sure that from the time they rose till the time they went to bed, everything was taken care of and they were they were handled in the best way possible. And it's the closing of a chapter in in celebration of that chapter as well. Exactly in and you know, it's a karma thing as well. And it was important to support her through this process because it wasn't necessarily something she was all that jazz to do, but knew that she needed to just get out from under the actual company aspect. And just go back to being Bev and you know, and enjoying her life with her husband of 44 years. So. So I was supportive. And that's kind of the way I am with my clients now. And it is a common thing because Beth has probably introduced me and referred me to at least 1520 of our friends. Wow, over the last two and a half years, so it's it. I think you get what you get. Right? I think that's really the way life boils down. Is yet you get what you give. So I agree wholeheartedly. Good. Yeah. Well, one of the things that We've talked about whenever you and I have been on the phone before, was that you kind of not use that nurturing that you use with your children with with your thought leader that you support it with all the with all the companies you've been with, you've used that nurturing aspect of yourself. It's not a part of your DNA, it is your whole DNA. That's, that's the part that I love about you is you, you see the potential and the possibilities in in people. And you want to call that out and you want to help support that and, and push push them and challenge them. But you do it in a way that is very impactful. And I want to commend you for that while I have you on the air because you don't get to tell people that very often where they actually slow down and listen to it, say it. Well, thank you. Thank you. I have really You know, when I started the company, I wouldn't say that I was passionate about what I was doing, until I really realized how much mentoring was involved because I was now working with a lot of what I call newbies. Right? And I love mentoring. That's, that's what I'm all about. And once I embraced that, and realized, this is what I can be doing for so many people, that's when I got passionate about what I was doing. Well, I think one of the other remarks that comes to mind is something that Michael Hyatt has said before, you know, people go out and I'm gonna have you share a little more specifically about the business you started here in a minute, but Michael Hyatt commented one time and I've kind of hung my hat on it is don't go out and look for people to help you get where you're going that haven't been there you go and you look for people. To help you get where you're going that have already been there, whether it's an assistant, a coach, a mentor, whatever it is, a lot of times people go okay well I can't afford a virtual assistant a high paying virtual assistant so I'm just going to get some little girl off the street help her have her help her out, help me out, you know it's a helping each other out type of Jerry Maguire moment helped me show you the money type thing. But they're not equipped. They they haven't been where you're wanting to go and Michael Hyatt says if you want to be a fortune 500 company you need a coach that has been a leader in the fortune 500 into industry if you want to, or you need an administrative assistant that has served as a role in a fortune 500 company, you need a a support system that has been where you want to go and and i think that's beautiful because you said you work with speakers and authors and and messengers and, and those are the people that you've already served and served in a high capacity. And so you can serve your clients so much better because you've already been there done that saying that you know what to expect even before they expect it, you know how to talk them off the roof. All of that. So, so yeah, tell us tell us a little bit more about the company you started what you do, and, and what type of company it is. Well, we are a virtual assistance company, but we literally specialize in speakers, authors and podcasters. So those are our clients. Although many of the the things that I talk about and have like a, a white paper on how to increase your speaking business, if you've got a small business that you need to raise your visibility. A lot of the things that are on that list can be used for small businesses as well. But what we do is we help the speakers and authors raise their presence in social media, help them write that book and get it to bestseller status. help them find more stages. And, and, and for those that are very much established, and they've gotten to the point where they're on the stages, but they just don't have the time to deal with all the, you know, logistics and administrative stuff. Right? I was gonna say a dirty word. You know, to deal with all that we take that off their plate, and we'll handle the the business side of it, and make sure that all the T's are crossed and the i's are dotted, so that they can go out on the road, do their speeches and know everything's being taken care of. Well, I think it's, you know, one of those things that when people say Alright, I've spoken at all these places, I want to have my own event. I don't think they understand fully what all that entails. But you've put those on for people before. So, you know, having somebody like you quote unquote, in their back pocket is is a huge benefit, I'm sure. Well, yeah, there is a lot involved. And, and just knowing how to negotiate with the the venue is important, because and finding the right venue for you and your budget. So, yeah, I've been involved in in all that. But yes, there's a lot of little pieces. And I find that the creatives, which is the community that I serve, have some amazing, great ideas, but they don't know how to bring that to fruition. And that's why I come in, I'm sort of their Yin to their Yang. You know, I will reverse engineer their idea to figure out how to get there. I used an analogy explaining what to do the other day to somebody I said, when you have that picture, perfect image of what you want. She's the puzzle maker out of it. She comes in, she takes the pieces apart, and puts it in a way that you can pick your pieces together as you need, whether you're an inside to the outside or an outside to the inside person, she helps put that picture together for you. So she takes your full picture, she breaks it down into bite sized pieces, so you can put it together the way you need to put it together. And they're like, oh, okay, you know, they're like, because I can't see how to get where I'm going from looking at the big picture. I'm like, that's why you need someone with a strategy mindset, which is what you have you and it comes so natural to you. You don't get ruffled whenever one thing's not going right because you're already expecting it to not go Hopefully I've planned it out properly and nothing does go wrong. But you know, life happens and and things do go wrong. And as I tell my client, no one in the audience knows that something's wrong. Exactly like when you get married, and you know, something will go wrong, but nobody will really even notice it. You know, just go with the flow. Have a great day, do your message. And we'll make sure that everything runs smoothly. So, you know, that's and I'm pretty even keeled. I don't I don't have extreme highs or lows. So, so I can keep it together and, and make sure everything works. You know, well, even in a in a kind of, you know, emergency situation. What is that old commercial? Never let them see you sweat. Yeah, those are the people you want in your corner is the ones that never let you see like Let them see you sweat. So I know, yesterday I got a notification, I have a large organization that I'm a part of. And we have two annual or two meetings a year that we do training for new new people that have joined our organization. And we have people come from all around the world. And they ended up after some major thought in listening to research and listening to the guests and everything. They decided to postpone this one and just resume in August. And, you know, there's there's definitely some some challenges when you have a big event. I mean, we're expecting 3000 people coming. And we're now postponing this event that's supposed to happen in two weeks. And now And so, one of the things that I realized and A lot of people don't is how many how this affects a trickle effect across so many parts, like I heard today, you know, on the news they were talking about, well the event will be fine because the event has insurance and that's true the event has an entrance has an insurance policy most events have insurance policies and if you're doing an event without an insurance policy, shame on you. But um, most events have insurance policy, but the the hotel that it was being held at the servers that were there, the transportation to him from the airport, the airport, so you know, we're dealing right now, in this time and age with this thing called the corona virus. And I've got a friend that's in Italy that owns a bed and breakfast who's totally impacted by this because she's in the we're all the study abroad students are at. So although all of them have been sent home, and so the parents aren't coming to visit the kids, the kids aren't there. There's a lot that's going on. And if I were an event organizer, even though I knew I had insurance, I think I'd be freaking out right now. Do you have anybody that you're hearing that about? Well, I mean, Justin there in Texas, I know that South by Southwest was canceled, yo. And I mean, and that's millions and millions of dollars to the local, you know, economy, right. lost. So yes, this is this is definitely causing some major troubles. The, you know, the things that the conferences that I know of right now that are in our industry are still happening, because they tend to be us centric, right. So those are still going on. But yeah, I'm also a member of the meeting planners International, so I know it Hitting big time to a lot of people. And Damn, I wish I had zoom. Zoom is doing magnificently over these last couple of weeks, right? Because companies are just making them now virtual meetings. And so you know, things can we can, we can flip things around. And and as I said, you know if something goes wrong, we'll fix it. You know, if something like this happens, and we can't have a live event, so let's have a virtual event, we can do it. Well, and that's part of what we've been talking about here lately is bringing in some people in doing virtual summit with people because we can get their messages out, we can band together stronger. You know, part of what we do is dig services help promote and empower other women and doing a virtual summit and in people like well, I want to be in a room with a bunch of girlfriends. I'm like right now, you know, Or, or invite your closest friends over to your house to watch the summit together. You know, there's a lot of different ways that we can think through this and do this a little bit better. But I know I sprung that question on you and it wasn't one that we had talked about discussing, but I figured it was right there in the middle of what we're doing right now. And you know, it needed to be addressed. I heard somebody the other day telling me that they were doing an event and they had like 1000 tickets sold. It was an outdoor event in April here in Texas. And I was like, okay, so you know, what's your what what insurance agent did you use for your event planning because I know a few that are in that industry. He goes, I don't have event insurance. I'm like you What? You're talking tornado season. You're talking rainy season. You're talking you just you chose the month in Texas that you just don't do that without an insurance policy. He was like, What? I had no idea so had him on the phone with an insurance agent ASAP you know? Oh, Lord better be glad you were there. Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming in for dummies event in April as well. Yeah, I'll be I'll be there in Texas. Yeah. In in April, in that semi neighboring town, so I will be there as well. So excited about that. So now, you said that you worked with it was Bev right. The thought leader you worked with Yeah, Beverly, Kay, she, she Beverly Kay. She's amazing in the area of career development, employee engagement and retention, and her books, which Okay, so I don't know if you know this statistics, but most business books, the average sales are like 6000 over the period of their lifespan. Bev's love lose them has sold over a million copies? Well, yeah. And what we do did is that from her books, there were workshops created that were then sold to fortune 1000 companies. So we only worked with companies of 10,000 or more employees. Wow. But yeah, yeah. So it was a, it was a nice, nice, you know, but as you know, anytime you have a company and people that you are now responsible for, it's a headache. And at 75, she said, Okay, I'm kind of done with that whole aspect. She still speaks, but there was just no need for a full time in person and so, so and I totally understood that and I kept telling her because she was, she was feeling very upset that, you know, she was gonna let me go and I said, Beth, you do not owe me a job. You know, it's okay. It's over. Kay, right. And I'm so glad that it was so positive because, as I said, she has referred me to a number of different people that I work with now. And, and I'm having much more fun because instead of one author that I knew inside and out and all her, you know, her, her her speak, so to speak, and write, you know, so it did get kind of boring. You know, work can get can be boring if you're not totally engaged. Well, now I get to work with so many different authors that I've learned from each one. And it's something different each day. So I am enjoying this fourth chapter in my life. So, you know, I mean, how many women at 62 can say, Hey, I am enjoying the heck out of working? Well, I think it's great, you know, how you speak above and how she she you know, Caring for you. It's evident that she inspired you, as well. Who were some of the other women that have been in your life that have inspired you? Well, you know, in my actual life, I mean, my mom was amazing and just really stoic. So I think I get my even keel from her. Every client I have. And I'd say probably 90% of my clients are women. Every client I have really does, you know, inspire me because I love each of their messages, and they're important. And so they inspire me to want to get them, you know, more and more visibility, because what they're talking about is important. If we're talking about you know, like, someone that's famous, my my role model, and don't laugh at me, okay? My role model is actually Dolly Parton. Oh, wow, that woman. Not only is she self deprecating, I mean, she's not full of herself, right? She's self deprecating. She is one of the most brilliant businesswoman. She has. She has a music book have over three 4000 songs that other people have sung. So, I mean, she's rolling in it, but she is also giving back. Like, like no other. Do you realize that Dolly Parton is like the number one book distributor in the world? Because she makes sure that every child that that writes to her will get a book every month from date of birth to the age of five when they enter school. Wow. I had just recently heard about her love for books and what she was doing, but I did not know that little tidbit. I believe, I believe the statistics are that she has given away over a billion books. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I hear those stories. And you know, I am small potatoes. But I hear those stories and I just think, oh, wow, Lord, can I just win the lottery and just have fun giving it away? Because that would just to me, that would make me happy. Right would make me happy. Right. So I just I just totally love Dolly Parton. I'm in love with Dolly Parton. Well, you and my husband so my husband has said that his one concert he wants to go to he wants to see he is super in love with Dolly Parton. You know, and we're, you know, we're still in our 40s and he's like, I don't know what it is. She's just she's so so engaging and so real. And doesn't take herself too seriously. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And so giving and I have never heard word one that's negative about Dolly Parton from anybody. And damn if I could look like that and still wear those heels that 80 I think she's close to 80 you know, and if it's gonna go Holy moly, really look great. Right. And you know, we've been watching we watched that heartstrings that she had on Netflix not too long ago and have watched a couple of specials that she's had on. And, and I guess the part that I appreciate is in a world where we're faced with so many fake people are people faking it till they make it? She is just real and genuine and authentic and makes you feel even through the TV like you're her best friend right there in the room whether, yeah, exactly. And she'll tell you a lot of her his fate. Yeah, she'll say a lot of you a lot of mistake, but my heart isn't. Yeah. Yeah. So, I know, I know I'm one of the people that you've inspired. So tell me about some of the people that you hope to inspire and you know what what would you like your legacy to be? You know, years from now whenever people think of you, you know, a year 510 however many years from now when they think of you what is what are some things you want them to, to say are you hope that they have felt from you? Well, on a personal basis, you know, that I was a great mom and Grammy and, and a good and a great friend, you know. I hope that people see me as you know, being giving and, and and there to help whenever is necessary. But on a business level, I would love people to realize it's never too late to go out and start your own company. You know, when they when they started saying, you know, retire at 60 or 65, we were only living till 67 or 68. Right? Well, my mom is 91 years old. Wow, I had no intention of sitting on my tush for the next 30 years. You know, I mean, the thought is just repulsive. I need to be out and about doing stuff. So I'd really love to inspire people to say, you know what, I have this amazing idea and I'm going to start a company because you don't have to go into hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. I went into no debt, no debt. I literally started my company in my home office with a laptop and my telephone. That's it, right? I didn't even have a printer when I started. Do now but you know, it's like you can start with with being something really small with this gig economy the way that it is, you can you can do a project by project type basis, do a good job, get a referral, right? And just build it that way. Right now, I would say 95% of my business comes from referrals. So, you know, I don't have to go into hundreds of thousands of dollars of marketing and all that fun stuff. Seeing as though it's really not my thing to be in front of the camera, but I i will say I do love doing the podcasts and radio shows. I always have a face for radio, but but, you know, I like to just let people know, don't just because you're over 60 does not mean we need to, you know, crawl into a ball and say we're done. We still have another good chapter or two in our, in our book. Well, and we, it's whether you start a business, whether you start a nonprofit, whether you just start a group of friends that are hanging out together, get out and do stuff with people, engage with people, pay it forward, go to the schools and read the little kids. You know, there's so much that we could be doing. My husband's been working in the plumbing industry for 30 years, his body's starting to give out so he's starting to think about what are some ways he can reinvent himself? Cool. So let's, um, let's ask you this, out of the people that you're working with now, how have they inspired you to grow your business or shift your business? We talked a little bit about the niche market of what bad ad, you know, right? I know being a verb, you can say I'm a virtual assistant and everybody wants to go Okay, here's billing. Here's this. Here's that and yeah, but you said very specifically who you work with did Beth, help you do that or the clients that you started drawing in because of your personality and and what you were good at? Well, I knew that my niece was the speaking, you know, author industry because that's where my superpowers lie. And that's what I know. So I knew that that was my niche. I didn't know really that much about podcasting, but realized that that is the media of the future, and is growing leaps and bounds. And so I embraced that whole, you know, community and what an amazing community in the podcasting world is. But my, my offerings have changed. When I first started, I thought it was going to be the administrative, you know, all administrative kind of work. And I found that that's not necessary. What especially new authors were looking for. Now, I'm not a booking agent, I don't go and find, you know, paid speaking gigs as, as the only thing that I do, and if that's all that they want, I am now referring people to a couple of booking agents that I like, right? But, but my offerings have kind of changed. And what I've realized is that there are a great number of people who have been in corporate America for 20 or 25 years, who have a story and or a method of doing something that they want to now go into consulting and be a speaker and write their own book. And so I found that my mentoring in that area is really where I'm moving towards I have other women. And that's actually another aspect of what's important to me is I hire other women who have been marginalized, such as myself, who at 60 have amazing skill sets still to offer my clients. And yet, I also have a number of young moms who don't necessarily want to work a 40 hour week, because they want to be stay at home moms, but especially here in Los Angeles, you need that extra income to make ends meet. So that I have a number of young moms that helped me with the research and data entry and things along that line that honestly, I don't want to do anymore, right. But it gives them an income to help their family out. So that's like my back end mission within the company or who I hire and why I like I really try to take on those people that quote unquote, aren't hireable because they're not willing to put in the hours of corporate, you know, work that's necessary, that kind of thing. So, so that kind of what I'm about. Well, and I think it goes hand in hand with a lot of what I'm seeing in the women's marketplace for working nowadays. There's the our riveter, that makes the purses, it's the military spouses that make the purses and they know that military spouses get transported all the time. They get MCs to move, and it's hard to find a job and then because your spouse may be deployed, you've got to have a job that will be flexible with you being mom and dad to your kids while while your spouse is deployed. So they have a business model that they have components of their purses are put together and made by these male spouses and then they come back to the warehouse to be put together. And so and there's an virtual, another virtual assistant company out there that that engages male spouses to, to work for them as well. And then you've got more and more Abby, even, even our government here, then partly because of the corona virus has been testing out more and more people working from home doing it remotely. And, and so we got to stop thinking about, you know, butts and seats in the office and start thinking about how we can still be productive and make an impact for what we need to do. There are jobs out there. There are a lot of scam jobs out there big market of right now. But there are jobs, there's ways to serve people and there's a way to serve your own bottom line. If you're just willing to look forward, I know when we started my company several years ago, I started doing social media for companies and I worked with nonprofits and businesses and everything. But then whenever I got tired of doing the social media stuff, I'd say, you kind of evolved, you start working on what you what you really love, and you, you kind of evolve and you start realizing that that part while you It was fun, and it brought in money. It's not where you want to hang your hat now, because you've grown, you've evolved. And so I brought in another mom that had just had a baby. She kind of wanted to stay home with him for a while, got her trained up, and then she kept getting more and more training, and she rolled out into her own business, and great and even from there, she's now her child's in school, and she's gone on to work for a corporate company and this is what she's doing. It wasn't something that she went to school for. She took four years of college for did all this she had real hands on OJT to learn this skill test it be able to show what all she was able to accomplish on her own. And she never worked in an office she was home for her kids she worked everything around her kids schedule you know there were a few times she'd be on a conference call video call whatever and in the background her son's you know, coloring the wall with a marker or pouring cereal places that happens. Yes, she was there. I think you need to be realistic about whether you're capable of being a virtual person, right? Um, some aren't that great at and staying on task. If if you're the kind of you know, squirrel kind of person, that might not be the way to go. Believe it or not, I was actual a Virtual Employee back in 1991. Wow. Before there was such a thing, because I had been a recruiter and got married, had my kids and decided I wanted to stay at home. And, and my boss tracked me down after, like 10 years, and tracked me down and said, I just started this new company, I really want you to come on board. And I said, Well, okay, as long as I can do it from home, and he knew what I was capable of and said, okay, right. And I owe him so much because I was able to help support my family, and yet still could be the room mom, the Girl Scout leader and everything else like that. So it, you know, through the years, I understand and I know that I have the capability to stay totally focused and on task and, you know, not go down and turn on the TV or anything along that lines. It's like I am at work. And then I'm not right. Although I'm not as good as the and not Oh, I I literally last night, I got up and I did some, some tweets and stuff for a client at like 930 at night so that I could get it all loaded up. And, you know, make her happy. So, you know, it's like, I'm not that great at not staying at work, but but I'm working on that. Yeah, I totally get it my husband, you know, owning a plumbing business. It's a 24 seven on call for commercial emergencies. He works a lot. So when works, I try and work. And in that way when he's not working, we can actually go to dinner or we can go and do some of these other things. So I have set working hours during the day that take phone calls and do appointments. But if he's working outside of those normal working hours, I'll work so that maybe I don't have to have those. You know, if I've got free time with him, I can go to breakfast or I can go to lunch or dinner or we can go shopping for the kids. So my schedule looks a little hinky yet because it's not the norm of what everybody else sees. But, you know, it's it's also something that works for us. And it's, it's this is when we're, we're connected with people. This is when we're working with people. I had somebody messaged me last week. Hey, can we get on a call today? I'm like, Nope. Not today. You know, as I say, not today, Satan. But you know, yes, we can get on it. Call it just won't be today, it may be next week into next week before I can get on a call with you. And that's because I'm trying to be diligent of my time and not just block out the time for appointments and calls with people, but also block up the time to work on the projects can work on the tasks. And I think that's part of the discipline you're talking about of having the right mindset to do the job, you know, exactly. I know, I'm being pushed and challenged on writing, and I've blocked out my writing time for my books and, and I'm working on that and it's set up as an appointment. It's an appointment with myself in my laptop, and that's where I will be there. Yes. So no, no temptations. So we're about to take a break here in a couple of minutes. And when we do, it'll just be a quick short break. But when we come back, we're going to talk about some of the victories you've had. We've had, we may have touched on some of them, but we now There's women that are challenged with what life's facing them or what they're facing in life right now, or maybe they faced it years ago and they just haven't been able to get past something that keeps holding them back. And we like to hear those stories of victory from women that have kind of weathered the storms and come out on the other side. Just as a way to shine a spotlight into those dark splay spaces and let them know that we see them there. And you know, I may not be able to reach out to somebody and help them out of the dark space they're in but maybe you have the key that can unlock that dark space. So we're going to talk about that when we come back from this break. All right, we are back with Laurie and speak says we are talking more about her starting a business at the age of 60. We'll throw that out there. I hate telling women's age on the air but I love the story behind it. So That's That in itself, you know, people start talking about wanting to wind their business down at the age of 40 or 50 or 60 in your revenue up so, to me that sounds like a huge victory, but what are some other victories you've had in your life personally, professionally? You know, what are some of the I don't I don't want to assume that you just arrived and everything was perfect. Oh, gosh, no. Well, you know, it's interesting because Andrew, you know, I'm a big girl. And and so you know, life life in Los Angeles where everyone is a thinks they need to be a Barbie. I never really quite fit in. But and so hold on a second. I'm losing you. Are you Is everything okay? Can you hear me? Yes. Okay. It filter dummy. I so apologize, but Maybe it was God saying quit talking about being fat Laureen but you know, I mean, that was a hard road and I have some some major situations of being picked on. And I'll be honest with you, it took me until I was 50 to embrace the fact that this is the size that I am, this is the size that I am going to be. And I'm not going to change for anyone else. And I if I could teach the girls out there to love themselves. You know, so that they don't go through all the trials and tribulations of not thinking you're good enough. Because you're big is so, so important to me to get that message out. Love yourself the way that you are and and you'll find out that people will gravitate towards you because you become much more sure of yourself. unconfident and unfortunately, like I said, it took me to my 50s before I said, I'm done with this, you know, this is me Get over it. So, you know, that was that was part of my growing up and and maturing and you know, I guess another victory over the stuff when when bad things happen you know I went through a divorce and and and I still have yet to to remarry i mean you know there have been a couple of really nice men in my life but I I realized and here's something that I could do it myself that I didn't need a man to give me my worth, or to take care of me financially. I was capable doing it myself. Now, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't love to have a partner in life. But I realized I didn't need it. So I wasn't going to settle. Right? For someone that wasn't right for me. And I think too many of us women, you know, think that we have to have that man in our life. And and I say no at bros, embrace your powers yourself. Especially if it's a it's not a healthy relationship. So I guess those are really, I kind of have had a great life with you. I mean, I've been very lucky. So, you know, so and I'm the type of person that I have always looked at the glass half full, and I focus on the positives. And so that's what's really important when I went through the divorce My reaction was, okay. I don't want someone that doesn't want to be with me. Go Go. It's okay. But I have friends that to this day still can't stand my assessment. I let it go ages ago right ages ago. Let it go. If I can fix something, I fix it. I kind of tease sometimes I say I'm a guy with boobs. Because I am that type of person that if I, I want to fix it for you. I'm not one that just wants to listen and go all. Okay, I hear ya. Now I want to fix it. Right? I'm so much more like a guy in that way. But if I can't fix it, I let it go. And I won't. I won't sit there and and, you know, let it fester in my life. If there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have control. I let it go and I put it in God's hands. That's all good. Well, I think I think you touched on something there you know your your divorce, there may be people that are more devastated for you than you were actually devastated in the divorce. And a few years ago, I was doing a training down in San Antonio and we were having people do a life map. And on this life map, we had them put everything that was positive in their life above a line, write it on this big poster board, everything that they had encountered negatively in their life, they wrote below the line. And there were two women at the same table. And they both had divorce on there's one handed above the line, one headed below the line. The one that headed above the line said she had been set free from a very toxic relationship. The one the below the line was just totally devastated that her marriage had ended and basically her life had stalled out from that point in her life. And she just wasn't living and so It was beautiful watching that one that the divorce was freeing for her to be able to speak life and freedom into this other woman. And you know it their their experiences in the moment were very different. But the the ability to help that one that was stuck in the darkness come out of it was so beautiful to watch. And they spent weeks and months talking with each other and encouraging each other and empowering each other. Through that it was more one sided for a while. But then after that, while they they became really good friends and started doing some workshops for women that were going through divorce, and it said it in their work. Their theme was it doesn't matter how you're viewing your divorce, this workshop is for women to help you move on to the next chapter, you know, and it was it was a great thing that they did and and i don't know that they do those workshops. anymore but it was it was two polar opposite views of how one in one thing can impact a person. And exactly, you know, I know I've had this conversation with another friend of mine when I had my sexual assault, she had a sexual assault as well. Well, our reactions were two totally different reactions to it, you know, and, and, but it doesn't mean that we can't help somebody I can help somebody that had the opposite reaction I had she can help somebody that had the opposite reaction she had as we talk about it and open it up and peel back the layers of of what it all is but it goes back to more of what you you shared about loving yourself. You know, you have to do that first. Well, you know, there's this great gal Allison Donaghy, who is a podcaster. Her with Dominic No thinking, and she is all about taking yourself out of a victim state and into a freedom state. And part of that is just, you know, letting it go and understanding what your part in the situation was. You know, I mean, when I went through the divorce, and he cheated to get out, you know, but, you know, it was his fault, right? But no, there there, you know, there were things that after 15 years of marriage, you know, life got you know, we were all wrapped up and I was wrapped up in the kids with kids, kids. And and so, you know, I didn't probably give him the attention that he wanted. I will own that part. Right. Not that it was not this is doing right. But I will own that part, that maybe I was being the best wife either. And so, so I loved her framing of being able to get out of the victim state and into the freedom state because of the fact you can see where you own it, and then let it go. Right, right. And that's what we need to do is you need to just let it go. Let it go and move on. And I know that it's easier said than done. But, you know, and depending, especially depending on the situation, you know, an assault is is completely different than a divorce. Although it is and it isn't, if you think about it, right, because you can still be a victim either way, right? But, but it's like, move, you gotta let it go and move on. Because otherwise they're still having that control over you. Well, you know, I we when I left working at the church I was at before I started my business. We had this I worked in the business office, we had this thing that used to happen where there was stuff that was bought for our offices and they were bought specifically for our style or our look or or whatever the decor person that came in that decorated our offices decorated it towards our style. So when we left we had we normally had the option to ask to purchase or you know, because they would be redecorating it for the next person. So I went nice specifically asked for the chair that I had. It's kind of like the chair I'm sitting in today kind of an area on type chair. And it was very ergonomically correct. And I'd had the chair for five years it was kind of it had some issues with it, but it was molded to my but you know, to be honest, I liked that. I liked that chair. And my boss. I went to him and st if I could have the chair and he goes well as long as so and so approves that I have no problem with it. So it's getting close to the day that I'm leaving the company and everything and he comes back to me. He goes, if you're gonna get that chair I need, you know, we're getting your final paycheck and all that stuff lined out. I need to know what price you were told on it from, you know, whatever the facilities department was, and that asset I was told no. And the look on my boss's face because it was his boss that told me no, the look of my boss's face was just pure shock. Because in the five years I'd been there, nobody had told me no before. And he just looked at me and started and he goes, No, seriously, I'm like, I'm, I'm serious. Todd told me no, he's like, No, he didn't tell it's never told, you know. And, and for me, it was kind of like, Alright, now I have a right to be offended because I Even even Josh thinks it's wrong that I'm offended that that Todd told me now that he said no. And, you know, it wasn't a big offense. I'm using this kind of tongue in cheek because it's a funny story. I mean, Todd even came to me one day, I'm training my replacement, and I've got her staying there. And Todd comes running down the hall with this phone and he's got the old Groucho Marx song. It doesn't matter what you say how you phrase it, anyway, I'm against it. And he's playing that and I'm like, Pastor Todd, please meet my replacement. You know, I'm introducing Rosie's trash talking me it was a great moment. But this this business of mystery was kind of taking up an offense for me. I'm like, I don't know what the deal is. I'm not offended. It just shocked me and, and then that moment I went from dealing with my own shock to now I'm dealing with his feelings about this and you A lot of times when we tell somebody we're getting a divorce, or we've been fired, or, you know, we've been assaulted or whatever the tragic moment that comes up, we don't even get a chance to deal with our own emotions first and foremost, because we're constantly dealing with other people's emotions about what happened to us. So what I what I like is you keep saying, Let it go move on, you've got friends that were offended, but you're not letting them impact how you feel, or how your own you're feeling about yourself. Because you're like, it's done. It's over with I've moved on we say girl with long hair, because that's what we were called when we were in the military. I mean guy with long hair. That's what we were when we were in the military. We're just dudes with long hair. So you know, the not letting other people's thoughts come in and keep you stuck. Is it Something that I picked up in what you said you know those people can be offended and be mad at your ex and never want to speak to him again or, and that's fine. That's their feelings and their emotions. But you know, it doesn't disqualify you who you are what you were called to be how great you are and, and you know, it doesn't define anything else about you. It doesn't allow you to I tell people it's okay to park your boat there for a little bit but don't build a mansion around it. Oh, I like that. I like that. So I love that analogy. Yeah, if you need to go go to the gym, punch a couple of punching bags, do some kickboxing whatever, get it out of your system, and then move on. And in. Too often we're hearing that these people are parking their boats and building a mansion and and they've now got land attached to this. This thing that is become a problem in their life and You know, they'll never break the boundaries of that land because they're just, they're too hung up and what has happened to them that they can't see the rest of the world out there that's there for them at the moment and look at you, you're touching so many lives through the people that you serve. You know, every time one of those speakers you work with goes out and speaks or does a podcast or does whatever it is that they're doing. That's one of your touch points. Every time they're writing a book and putting a book out. That's one of your touch points. It may not be your voice, it may not be your thing, but you've touched it, and it's a an extension of what you've done and and all because you didn't sit back and go, Oh, well. He said I wasn't worth it. Or, you know, yeah, you're you're doing it or, you know, you say the face for radio jokingly and all that self deprecating thing, but you've got a voice that needs to be heard and needs to be shared and It doesn't matter what means it gets out there. It doesn't matter what you look like it needs to be heard. And you're not letting any of it stop you. So right, good job. Right. Thanks. Yeah, no, I think we need to embrace our own superpowers and embrace your worst. And, and unfortunately, it does take some of us longer than others. And I would love to see, you know, women, younger women having that confidence from the get go. And I think that's actually one of the things I'm probably most proud of is my daughter, who, up until about a year and a half ago was bigger than I still had the most self assured, amazing personality. You know, that just nothing stopped her. Right and Yet, you know, she was bigger than I. And I swear people are just getting mean more mean and more mean or meaner and meaner. I don't know, which is the correct way. But over the last year and a half though, she has lost 140 pounds. Wow. So wait, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, because she is so determined and so sure of herself, that when she finally made the decision, because she had had a couple kids and want to be there for them. Right, right. She made that decision and stuck to it. But, but it wasn't based on just the her luck. It was based on her health. So you know, just just having your own power is important. And you need to embrace that. Sounds like she's got some tenacity for my mama. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think so. I think We are we are very, we are very similar people. You know, we don't take a lot of stuff from people, right. I edited there too. But yeah, you know, we are, I have raised some real self assured women. And I have an amazing son, who also has a very self assured wife, who he supports and they support each other. I think, you know, as you say, what are some of the victories the victories are that all three of my kids are amazing adults who are happily married, and their spouses are amazing. And what more can I ask? They're happy, you know, and they, and they're giving me grandbabies. in Erie, we're done. I'm so upset. I'm not gonna have any more babies. Yeah, well, my, my two grandkids just turned six this week. So this weekend, so yeah, and I'm not called Grameen diva is my grandma name. So Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love though. They, they definitely call me Davis. So I love that. But, um, so, in the middle of that, you know, what I love? What I kind of heard between the lines is, you know, your daughter with that transition and her outer appearance. You know, a lot of times people look at, you know, people that are overweight like myself, and they think that they're not strong that they're not self assured. Now we can walk in the room and prove them wrong, but first glance there, they're not gonna think that right off the bat. And so, one of the things that I've realized even through my my transformation of Losing weight, and still not near my goal weight yet, but in my transformation of losing weight is people do start looking at you differently. They do start thinking about you differently. And the thing is, is it's hard to explain that I never thought differently about myself. You just did. Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And yet, it's, it's also important to as long as you're healthy, right, right. To to accept yourself. Right. And so, so that's, that, to me is very important. You know, one of the things that always irritated me is that fat slob seemed to go together, right? Well, you will never, ever see me out in public. not totally put together. Every You know, there is no And, you know, dressed appropriately. And, you know, it's just so I have that in and of myself is just like, you may call me fat. But you will never call me a slob. Right? Right? Because that's, that's fine. I'm a big girl, too bad. Get over it. This is me. At this point. If I lost weight, it'd just be hanging skin. So I don't really care. It's like, no way. It's like, I'm healthy. You know, I'm not on any meds. I'm all good. So. So it's like, move on. Let's get on to the business. And I think I come across with a level of confidence that most people don't really, you know, stop and think, well, I don't want to work with her. She's sad. Right? Right. Well, it has. What's important is our brain. Exactly in it and it's one of those. One of those comments somebody made the comment what was it about it? A year ago, there was an event A friend of mine was on and they had only seen her headshots and if you look at her headshots, you think she's fairly skinny. You know very always put together. All of that right? Well then they invited her because they listened to her on a podcast how great she was an invited or to speak at an event and then they were it was a health and wellness event that she was speaking at. And she's got these amazing clients all over the West Coast and she's ran several multi million dollar businesses and and all in the skincare business and Health and Wellness Business, but she's not the model size. She's not skinny. She's not what everybody puts in when she showed up at the event. They were offended because of her size. Nice started being ugly to her. And oh my gosh. And she was like, wait a minute you listen to my podcasts, you heard the wealth of information I have. And they're like, Yeah, but the way you're you talked about on your podcast and what you're dealing with, don't seem to match up and she goes, show me where and they couldn't show her where what she was saying didn't match up with what she had promoted. It just they had a instant flip in their head as to what they had envisioned and what they had hoped to see. And of course, every other person up there look like canon Barbie, you know? And yeah, I'm like, but this is real life. This is gonna get the people that you want to help to get to Ken and Barbie status or whatever you want to call it. Yeah, but well, and and I mean, she's being real. Oh, yeah, exactly. at that. Yeah. That's just ridiculous. really ridiculous. And, and, and hopefully she stuck to her, you know, her principal, and she told him she wouldn't. She told him she would not worry about speaking from their stage. So that day, she really didn't need to speak from their stage, she would just take her check and go home. Oh, good for her. And they're like, well, if you're not speaking, we don't want to, we're not gonna pay you and she goes, No, we have a contract. You can just pay me and I will leave that way. You don't have to be disgusted by my appearance, and they're like, we never used the word disgusted and she's like, but she did in a not so kind way, you know, she, she was very firm. She's a businesswoman. So she is very good and strong and confident because they weren't seeing her the way she saw herself. Mm hmm. And I think I think that's, that's something that we have to be mindful of. We may think That we're, you know, strong and powerful and mighty. But we also realize that maybe not everybody sees us the way we see ourselves. And sometimes we just have to remove ourselves from their presence because it'll never be realized. And sadly, but the other side can also be true. You could see a beautiful girl who you think has it all together? And she does not think at all highly of herself. Exactly. So, you know, it's like, so love thyself, right, right. Know thyself. Well, I think we're all in whether you're gorgeous or not gorgeous or fat or skinny, or purple or brown or whatever. You're all beautiful, because God made you that way. So well, the way I look at it, and I do Do you know, it's one of those things that you you look at it and you go, Okay, I have been at the place where I believe the things people said negatively about me more moreso than then I should have, but then I evolved and then I started realizing that as long as I keep harping on those negative things, I will never see the positive things. So then I started shifting my thought process and and there will still be days. I'll go in Angie Lee Monroe, what were you thinking in? And I give myself that talk or, you know, come on, girl, get it together. Yeah. My husband I were talking I've had a couple of low memory things here lately that I'm just like, Okay, what in the world is going on with me? And, you know, it may it starts to make you think, Okay, well, I'm just not got it together. I'm just not this. I'm just not that. But really what it is, is you're not taking time to put margin and to allow room to breathe. It's what it is. And so in doing that, I had To be hold myself a little more accountable to how much I was putting on my plate, how much I was expecting of others how much I was expecting of myself. And I'm just gonna lead into our next little segment because what I know about you is when it comes to helping people reach their professional goals, your great accountability partner, I mean, you are the way you phrase things as you phrase things to set people up for success. So you were working on a project for me last summer and you're like, Okay, I'm going to get this to you by such and such time. How much time do you need to review it so we could set up a call? It was so there wasn't just a deadline on you. There was a deadline on me as well. And, and many people seem to blur the line between politeness and accountability. So, you know, I've told the story before my friend that never really wanted to hold me accountable for working out The gym because she didn't want to be held accountable for working out in the gym. But when we were in the office space together, she was phenomenal at it. I've had people I've given permission to, to speak into my life and say, you know, hold me accountable for doing things on certain dates and times and be consistent. But then they don't because they know that I'm a strong individual person. And I know that I know I should be doing it. But just because I know I should go to the gym and eat healthy every day doesn't mean that I necessarily do. And I've given permission to somebody to speak into my life to hold me accountable in those areas. And they don't, because they're afraid it's not polite to speak into that. Then we have a problem. So yeah, well with Yeah, with my clients. It really is. That's what they've asked me to do. And I'm not only holding them accountable, but I'm making the business accountable. As I told you earlier, you know, mentoring has really been my passion. And I think my clients all know that if I call them on something, or if I tell them, you know, you really should think about this, you know, going forward, they know it comes from a place of love, and a place of trying to make them better. So, you know, I don't think I've ever really gotten, you know, negative negative with anyone. But, you know, I will, I will say, Wait, stop you, we need to look at this. Right. And I think they know that, that when I push back or when I hold them accountable, it's only for their own good. Yeah. And and, and that's one of the things that people don't realize is if you're asking somebody to hold you accountable, or you're holding somebody accountable, you've been given a treasure in that moment. You've been given insight you've been given authority you've been given You know, I get tickled at people going, Well, I just want to be an authority figure, I just want to have a voice into this area. And so, you know, I'll test out with people. I'm like, Okay, well, I'm gonna give you permission to challenge me in this area. And then they don't brilliant. And then they don't. And, I mean, the ones that do are awesome at it at all times, you know, and then I'll go, I'll kind of push back with them on in a joking way of, well, this was a test it was only a test. Like, no, not by, you know, I'll have some they'll go Nope, not buying it. If you you wouldn't have come up with that thought if you really didn't want to do it or, you know, so they'll, they'll push back and then there's the ones that, you know, you tell them to challenge you in an area and they just never hear from them again. Yeah, well, yeah. So you just say you sit there and you go, Okay, got it. Move on. right on to another accountability partner. I think we've all kind of been in now. masterminds and and, and what not nice still, to this day have a number of masterminds that I'm involved in, in an effort to learn more, and have myself grow as well as helping my other mastermind attendees. So, yeah, going forward. It's not only just the accountability function, but that have you thought about type function rail to give you another aspect that you may never have even looked at? And so I'm a big believer in the whole mastermind system. Well, whenever you're looking at your accountability partners, whether you're being the accountability partner, you're you're looking for somebody to be an accountability partner. And, you know, what are some of the boundaries that you look for? With accountability partners, do you set up phone calls? Do you set up appointments with them? What does having an accountability partner in your life look like? Yeah, well I have mentors which are those that are ahead of me in the business game that I tend to think that you know that we're such a virtual world. My meetings with them are usually zoom meetings. So that I get that one on one I can see what's landing and what's not. And or, you know, we can have a real you know, face to face. This is what's happening. What do I do now kind of thing? Because I will I'll be the first to admit, I don't know everything about everything. Amen. No, I am, I am. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. So I believe in listening to everyone and although there are times when I can be a bit of an intellectual snob and I really am trying to work on that I have learned in my life that I can learn from anybody. And we need to take people's feedback and live in it for a sec. And either Okay, I see where she's coming from, you know, and and go with it or not. Yeah. And just as I tell my clients, well, here's what I think you should do, but it is still your voice, your message, your social media, whatever, it's still up to you. So here's what I think. But, you know, it is still you that is out there. And it's your presence so well, I think Yeah, I'm in a number of masterminds. I think I have the I think I know the answer you're gonna give to this but I'm gonna ask it anyway because I think the question needs to be asked and answered in a more in your face way, but when you have people that come to you. And we'll just use me as an example, say I come to you. And I'm wanting you to hold me accountable in these areas. And I'm just not pulling my weight in that relationship. And but you can see so much more potential for me that I'm really giving towards the effort that I'm asking you to hold me accountable for. So my question to you is this. Do you keep pushing them and challenging them? Or do you find a way to basically tell them or tell yourself to let it go until they're ready to come to that realization? Oh, yeah, I'll have all sort of have a come to Jesus with them. But if they still aren't getting it, I'll say, you know what, I'm here whenever you're ready to level up or to scale your business or whatever it may be. I'm here when you're when you're ready, but I cannot Be the one that cares the most about getting you to the next level, right? it you have to have that burning desire, you know, to actually make it come to fruition, if you are not passionate and have that burning desire, it's not gonna work anyway. Right? Even if I have the burning desire, right, right, you have to have it. So, I usually, you know, I do let it go in a way that I let them know why. Because you don't seem to be ready. Now I just had something pop in my head, you know, and it's, it's a wondering question. So I'm just gonna put it out there for those that are listening and those that are listening either live or to the, to the recording. You know, I want to ask myself this question and then also, as the audience are those that let me figure out how we're going phrase that those that are asking for you to hold them accountable and are not giving back the full weight of what she is so so you so let's just say I expect more from Susie q out here than she's actually

Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. Our show is specifically designed for divas. divas is an acronym for Destin inspired victorious accountable sisters. And we will be bringing guests on our show who will help in our mission to equip and empower a global community of women change agents as we make a positive impact on the world we live in. When we started doing this impact about four years ago, we quipped that we wanted to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others. And as we progress that was our thinking and our intentions and we want to talk about things that are impacting women. So that means we will talk about faith, family, fitness, finance, dude, and a lot of other words that don't even begin with that. So today I'm excited to bring on the show Lucy Mitchell are fierce in beautiful wellness, and I met Lucy through her husband I've been watching her for a little while and have fallen in love with her beautiful outlook on life. Lucy is a mindset and wellness coach site. Colin fitness fanatic food lover look, we got some of those f words in there. And all around personal development junkie she helps women break free from their inner mindset demons and create healthy relationships with food and fitness and define their self worth and find the confidence to live a life of purpose on their own terms. Welcome to the show, Lucy. Thank you, thank you. Well, I am so thankful to have you on the show and you know, it's a little bit of one of those things that I'm listening to what you're talking about and and what your mission is and, and it lines up so much with what we wanted to do and what we are hoping to accomplish with empowering and equipping women. I think it's it's just beautiful. So first off, I want to tell I want you to give us a little bit about what Why this is important to you? Oh, gosh, I mean, I think that I would probably have to go to a little bit of a backstory in myself. I mean, I'm first of all, I'm one of four daughters that my father had. So that in itself, there's lots of events going on in that house with my mother. And in fact, they always had a habit of choosing even female animal that was all about a daddy, there was a glutton for punishment, or he was a sweetheart, through and through. But he did raise him and my mother always did raise us to be very strong willed, very independent woman. And I said something that I've always carried through my entire life and probably proved very difficult and a lot of my relationships that I was not so much of what you call quote, unquote, a submissive woman. I just always do what I want. To do what I wanted out of life, and I wanted all my relationships, no matter what they were friendships, personal relationships, my children to live vicariously through that just, you know speak your truth. Speak your mind and and live your life to the fullest. And I really, it really hit to my core when my dad passed away suddenly, actually yesterday he realized it was five years that cancer took him from us. And in fact I woke up this morning going oh my gosh, I didn't even reflect or or anything about that which is a good thing because that means that we're you know, we're at peace with you know, his passing but I had decided about a couple of years ago. A that that cancer is is one of those that doesn't put the word I'm looking for it's it's it knows no boundaries. It's not just hereditary. It can affect anything. One right and, and that it's really important that we look for the signs and that we pay attention to ourselves. And as women, we spend so much time taking care of others that we don't stop and listen to ourselves and and listen to our own bodies and take care of our own needs. And that's where I decided, you know, that's not okay, we should be able to speak out and take care of ourselves. And so I just started like looking inward and decided I wanted to become a transformational nutritional coach. And I wanted to start working with women and in the pyramid upon women a problem phase of their lives, because that's the phase where we just given up, we have no purpose. We were just, it's all about our kids. It's all about our husbands. It's all about everybody else, and we no longer have a voice and by the time we have a voice, we feel it's too late. And I'm like, I'm techno sister. You have a voice and it's time to use it. And that's what my purpose has been. Is, is taking this drive that I have to live healthier to speak your truth to link arms with other sisters and just, you know, whatever it is, whether it's licensing, whether it's spiritual, whether it's sexual, whether its food, whether it's fitness, no matter what it is, it's like your children will be fine. Take the time to take care of yourself. Exactly where I'm at. Well, I think you bring up a beautiful point because a lot of the times those of us that are in those older years of life in we're not old, we're not dead. We we have a lot to give up, live up to and, and one of the things that I hear all too often is it's not only that they've given up, it's because a lot of times they've been so invested in helping their children. Or their spouse build up their dreams that they forgot how to dream. They didn't they don't know how to dream anymore. And they just don't have the energy to move forward with anything anymore. And a lot of that has a lot to do with Fitness, Health, the food you're putting in your body, your hormones, and like you said, they give up. I can relate to this because about a year or two ago, I was pretty much in the same place. I was. Okay, something has got to change. This is not right. Some I feel like something's hijacking my body and and what I found is there's a lot of women out there that feel that they just have to suffer silently. And I love that you're saying that's not true. I agree. And I think the other F word that we're all set is fear. Mm hmm. Exactly. Here I have the women that I have talked to is fear not a change but of making a change because they have gotten so stagnant are so used to a certain routine, a monotonous routine of doing things. It's, I want to say and I mean I'm 45 years old I've had three children I have four of my stepdaughter, but I've had four children and mentally and physically I do not feel 45 but I've also made that my passion drive like not because I remember watching my mom grow up and personalities eyes is probably today 65 right and and even then some 65 there are 45 I mean, all just depends on on your your drive to be something different, but I remember there was a cartoon and I'm gonna really date myself but way before I was born, Black and White, probably from Disney, but it was just as monotonous black or white. Whether they were just a repetitive cartoon like they had briefcases and they were just walking slowly along the line to work. And it just, it was just repetitive. They're just doing the same thing. over and over and over again, in no power, there was no life, there was no activity. And I feel like I see so many women feel that that's what they're supposed to do. Get up, feed the children take care of the husband clean the house, go to bed, right. And when I reach out to when I reach out even to some of my close friends about like, hey, there's this amazing women's conference downtown and we're going to put samples of face creams on our feasts and, and and you know, sample whatever is in here from concept. Well, I'm not no I don't and, and, you know, what will people think? Right now Like First of all, let's see if we can find something new and something done and and like let's get away from the kids away from the husbands and you know we're old I've discovered this amazing you know, like I lost 35 pounds in August give a listen to my body and I and I, you know I it's like to share all the different things that have worked for me for stepping outside of what the norm is. And I want to link Everybody with me I want to take all my sisters with me. And there's so much more there's so much fear. Well, yeah, and I agree with you on that. I think I think we have a lot of women that I listen to and and I'm surrounded by a bunch of strong women so a lot of my friends are kind of in the same boat I am their husband goes to work their husband goes on business trips, they just keep on keepin on they don't let their life be dictated by their their spouses schedule or their kids schedule. They still make time for friends. They still make time for their business, they still make time for living their life. But I realized that there's a out circle of women that I'm connected to, that that's all their life revolves around. It may be for the season, it may be that that's all they know how to do. And one of the things that it like it goes back to that fear word, word, you know, they don't want to rock the boat, so to speak. But I think it also goes back to how we're raised and what we're seeing and what's emulated for us. You talked about your dad being outnumbered by daughters Do you know? Well, he probably didn't, he didn't probably run the house, the house probably ran, you know, by the daughters more than then he would have liked to admit it admitted. But there's that that sense of confidence and ability that he instilled in you to where if your kids or your husband move on, yes, you're going to be you know, to business or to A career path or off to school, you're not going to be wrecked by that because you've got things of your own to do. It doesn't mean you're sitting waiting for Eric to come home. It doesn't mean you're waiting for your kids to come home for your life to be complete. And that's the part that we're wanting to women to realize is you are a complete human being with or without them. They are just, they are your life. You love them. It doesn't disqualify their role in your life, but they are not your your wholeness, and we want to talk about your wholeness. Yeah, yeah, exactly. My mom and dad were married for 44 years. And my dad did work. He worked. He owned his own landscaping business and then he was also a longshoreman. Very tough job. Yeah. So my mom did raise us Basically solely, I mean, our celebrations were around food. Because God was home, right? Um, you know, and it's funny when we were just together. My sister my younger my baby sister just had a baby. And he's where we sold. I just went home to go and meet him for the first time. And we were reminiscing and we were talking about how I remember when it was like Danny was home we celebrated with hungry man. You could put it in your body. Yeah, the look of joy on my dad's face wanting to meet that sounds very state hungry man dinner with the apple cobbler and the water down mashed potatoes. But it was all of us watching him eat and sitting with him because that was a rare key. Right? And what I look back on and see is that there wasn't a lot of light and color in my mom's face because what What he did in those hours to work for his daughters and his wife versus the hour during the day of what she did to keep the children alive in the house of flow. I saw that color changes we got older because she had more time and she was able to start doing things for herself. She ended up becoming a professional chef for a very small company. When I think it was close to me more moving out and still to my younger two sisters. Wow. And it was one of the things I took with me even later on was that, okay, it is okay to find your own interest outside like you're talking about outside of your role of wife and mom. And what I loved was that my dad always encouraged that. And my sisters and I have been very, very fortunate to marry husband to have always encouraged and supported any of our ventures and I believe me for I've had many years, for 21 years, I went to college for 10 years to either become an accountant, a business something and blatantly Was it a master's degree in education, I was going to be a teacher. Oh, wow. And now I'm going to become a I'm a transformational nutritional coach. Um, and God bless my husband for supporting every single one of those ventures. It but it's it was for me it was going back and like, knowing that my mom had that supportive my dad because she supported him. So just keep the house afloat, like keep food on the table. and whatnot. Exactly. And, and, you know, I think, I think we think, how do I phrase this? I think a lot of the times we as modern women think our role has changed so drastically from the quote unquote, olden days, but when you look back and You know, I'm going to use the Bible as a reference here. If you look back in the days of Abraham and Sarah and Isaac and all of them, the men went off, they went off to tin the sheep, they went off to hunt, they went off to gather, you know, they did all of that. And the women were left to take care of the home to take care of the children to take care of, you know, things that are holding the fort down, so to speak. And even even as recent as yesterday, it was Texas Independence Day here, somebody was talking about that as well. Excuse me, but in talking about that, women are afraid nowadays to be left behind by their their spouse or their children, and we're hearing more about the empty nest in their lives being just totally distraught over their children going off to college. And I'm not gonna say that I don't miss my kids. I'm not gonna say that at all. But what I'm going to say Is it opens up the doors for us to spread our wings and we need to be focused on spreading our wings not hiding away and into a shell of ourselves. It's funny that you say that because I have this is my philosophy and I have my mother philosophy of your viewers or your listeners think this is harsh. It's my philosophy. Once you're 18 you graduate you go, right need to go you need to spread your wings. Now, I understand if there might be a maybe a there's an emotional or a non mental but there's some type of a disconnect you haven't connected yet. I'll give you a little bit of time back just gonna kick you out and send you have you fend for yourself against wolves, but I came home one day and they were boxing by the German moms and she got a time we got to go. Right I was almost 19 she had found me a place. I had a job. I think that you know, but that was how I was raised. I do not understand. And I think I've done a post about this somewhere. I do not understand mom's neighbor say, No, no baby, you don't need to you need to you want to live here till you 30 you use you stay there done. Right. Right. Your job. It's your time now. Yeah, I agree. And I was raised in a very strict Christian home, and I read the Bible five times, through through, I did not see anywhere. Then it said in any fine print. You know, they can stay as long as they want. They need to go and you know, create their own household and, and live their lives. You raised them. And now it's your turn. I mean, I have the nice Do we have it like a countdown on them. Turn I've been raising children since I was 12 years old. I am right. It's my time. I want time with my husband. I want it to be just we'll check on you guys. We might even give your address Well, I think I think there's a term called leaving cleave, you know, leaving cleave to something else, not us. Do not give me grandchildren. Raising children, younger sister, so do the world a favor and get a dog grandchildren. And so I'm technically a grandmother. And they look at me and I and my girlfriends are like, really? I'm not saying I don't like babies. I love babies. Right? Like people. In today if you need to travel you need to see the world. You need to contribute any to You need to contribute to charitable causes you need to help other you know, other countries. Now we need to we need to go to Nashville we need to help Nashville right now like right. so horrible what happened in the middle of it. There's so many more important things that need to be focused on then Okay, you're 18 go get married and have children. Exactly. They go and do that they can't fend for themselves and then they come back well in and and i agree we've had we've had a we've got a son that's in the military. We've had had daughters that went off to college, they came back for a period of time and we're we were at the same place of Okay, the clock has started. What What is your action plan what you know, will be a safe place for you to land come back and land if you need to, but yeah, what's the action plan? What's the end result? I kept resetting the timer on the microwave. When my son came home from college. I was like, go take it. And and I, but they appreciate that they think it's hard, you don't understand they're like, No I do sweetheart, things have got changed just because it's, you know, it's 2020, the millennial state of mind is not a mind, I understand, because you do not understand the hardship that those of us who are our older actually went through. Well, and I think I think we also understand how important it is for them to have their independence and to, you know, it's not even just about me for for for my kids, I want them to be strong and solid and independent on their own right, and making good decisions and making a good income and making, you know, good life choices. I don't want them feeling like they're under my wing the whole time because I haven't trained them all these years to stay under my wing. I've trained them to push them out of the nest. Yeah, well And it's like I even told my elder to I have given my mind my body my soul My spirit my everything to raising you and keeping you alive right now trying to invest all of those efforts and energies back into myself. Right? Because I still have the second half of my life and that is equally as important as the rest of your life. So if we're going to roll the dice and mover important at this point, you know it's and and that is I that's what I like to also talk to my clients about it like this is now your time and dive into I really big about faith about whether when no matter what it is, God fear if universe angels whatever it is that you believe in. That is a huge when you lose that you lose yourself, yourself, your sense of self worth, right. And when you tap back in to that through meditation, through prayer through journaling, you're able to kind of like have your eyes reopen to who you really are as an individual, especially as a real woman as a woman. And a lot of times, it's a very uncomfortable process, but it's, it's step one, before we can do any other type of change, it's like, you've got to step back in, tap back into that spiritual sense of who you are, who you were created to be. Right. And, and we're gonna be going to break here in just a few minutes. But when we come back from that break, I want to I want us to talk about the difference between femininity and feminist. I think the feminist word gets, you know, thrown out there and everybody already thinks, you know, angry, bitter woman. But more so than that. I want us to talk about embracing our femininity because that's where our true strength is. I believe and and I love that you talk about this on such a transparent parent level. But I want us to dive into that when we get back from the commercial break so that we can really break that apart just a little bit. And then then we'll go into the fitness side of things after that, but we're gonna take just a couple of minutes to pay for the show with our sponsors, and we will be back in just a second. All right, we are back. And I know we talked before we left for the break in said we were going to come back and talk about embracing our femininity. So So Lucy, let's talk about that for a minute. I know years ago, I went to a women's conference because yes, I go to women's conference, biggest tomboy out there and I still go to women's conference conferences. And one of the ladies was talking about how The color scheme where you had pink for women and blue for men nowadays used to be actually the opposite. Back in the late 1800s to 19 hundred's blue was for women and pink, pink and red were for men. And so we keep mixing things up a little bit. And so when we talk about our femininity I've I left high school I joined the Navy, I worked as an aircraft mechanic then worked in the aviation industry. So in the military, I was called a dude with long hair, basically. But when we go into embracing our femininity, it took me a while to even figure out what that looked like because I had struggled so hard to try and fit in with my male counterparts that I didn't know how to be feminine. And I really didn't understand what feeling comfortable in my own body was and I really did And understand how that led to having close relationships with girls, you know as girlfriends, and what that was all about, because all my guy, all my friends were guys, and then I'm married. And you know my husband and I have this little competition going back and forth because I was trying to compete with him basically for his role in the family. And it ended us in a hot mess. But I want I want to hear a little bit of a taste because I've watched some of your Facebook posts and I've watched some of your talk about femininity and embracing it and really just discovering yourself and I want to hear how you feel to best translate to women the importance of embracing their femininity. I, first of all, I can honestly say I'm right there with you. I had more guys But I do call friends I just don't understand. I don't understand women. And again, I don't know if it was because of being raised by my gentle father I'm not sure what it is, but I know for for me I I can see I'm both sides of that sword in a sense that I can handle my own. But I am a I am I'm a I am a woman I am sweet, I am kind I am sexual I am I incense sensual, I am in tune with my my body and my senses and I'm comfortable in my own skin. I I don't feel and this again is my own opinion based on who I have seen and dealt with who is considered a feminist femininities the harshness that I'm not kidding. competition with my husband in the fact that who has the bigger package or however you want to work that right? Um, there is a role that he has and he is supposed to have. I want him to have that role. That's why I married him. He is our protector. He is our fighter. He, he's the man of the house. But if he needs a warrior right beside him, I am that woman. Right? Doesn't need another man. I am that woman. I am his Joan of Arc. As I like to so eloquently put that and I think in my messages when I am doing my posts or doing my stories is I like to I think I had done one A while ago where I was describing a road. So what from fairway you look at a rose and the roses Beautiful, beautiful, soft, pedal, scented beauty Mostly comes in a variety of colors, whether it's a tight flower or beautifully blooms, but if you get too close, you are going to get pricked by a thorn. Now, is that for the feminist part? Or is that the Thor's disorder protecting her femininity, right? It's all in how you want to look at the flower. But for me, I feel like all women are beautiful roses like we are. We have our authority to protect ourselves, but we are they're beautiful, we are feminine and there's no reason to hide that. to, to be ashamed of that. Is that's what that's how we were created. And not in a sense I mean, that's that's my, that's where I stand on that part of it. I mean, I feel I raising a daughter, raising two daughters when one's out of the house. I look at my daughter and I'm like, I want you to be as strong and I bought her this bracelet. And I said, always remember to adjust your crown. And don't have mine with the train thing. But always remember to adjust your crown. And remember the queen who gave it to you. Hmm, something along those lines, and she was amazing. I just want you to understand that no one is no one is to not knock you down. Because you need to remember where you came from, right who your queen is. Because people knocked me down. had a lot of horrible things happen. I've experienced a lot of things. I've experienced a lot of judgment. Even in the course of that I'm in now I get a lot of messages about some of my posts of like, I don't understand why you talk the way you talk or how you feel the way you feel. And there and it's a lot of times it's from women. And I just looked at my daughter and I said But it doesn't stop me. I'm just gonna get back up and I'm going to keep spreading my message because somebody needs to hear it. Somebody somebody else Can you benefit from what I have to say? Just like someone out there will benefit from what you have to give. And and I wholeheartedly agree with that. You know, one of the things that has happened over the years we started divas impact, like I said about four years ago. And right off the bat, we started getting a bunch of hate mail, mainly from feminist organizations, a few from guys, because they mistakenly thought that we were going to do this as another male bashing organization. And quite honestly, I've told everybody this is absolutely not a male bashing organization. We realize the need for men in our lives, just as we hope men realize the need for us in their lives. We we don't I'm not as concerned about what the guys of the world are saying about us women. I'm more concerned with what we are saying about ourselves and each other. You know, we you know, when You've got examples out there, like Real Housewives of bad behavior or bad girls clubs or whatever that's going on out there. They have the, the opportunity to, to send a such a empowering message. But they don't, you know, because drama sells. And when I was, you know, kind of whispered in my heart to start this organization and and get things going I was like but God I don't like women. I really don't like women their main they're nasty, you know and he's like, Yeah, you've had your episodes too and I'm like, okay, you know to Shay. And I remember a few years ago, whenever, whenever the Donald Trump and Billy Bush news broke, I got a lot of hate mail. You know, why aren't you denouncing Trump and why aren't you denouncing billy bush and why aren't you denounce? In and even with the Harvey Weinstein and, and all of those, and I said, because I'm not focused on them, I'm not letting them dictate my worth, I'm not letting them dictate the worth of all women out there. I'm working on me, I'm focusing on me. And, and and the women that I speak to, and I encourage and I empower and let them know that, yes, bad things can happen to you. But you don't have to live in a victim role anymore, you can live victoriously, and that's, you know, what we're focusing on is walking women out of those dark places. And so for the feminine femininity side of things, what I've also realized is, the more I've embraced my femininity, the more intimate my relationships have become with my girlfriends, the more intimate relationships have come with my family and with my spouse, it because I'm loving myself first before I learned how to love Anybody else and, and to me, that is the difference I see between, you know, saying I'm, I'm into feminism, or I'm into my femininity and and opening myself up to really love myself now loving yourself has a whole other series of side effects, I guess is what you'd call it kind of like a rolling blackout. There's just you start loving yourself and then you go, Oh, I love myself. So I'm gonna go to the doctor and get checked out and make sure I'm healthy. Oh, I love myself. The doctor says I could I could work on fixing these things. So I'm going to work on fixing these things to make sure my body is optimal. And I'm going I'm going to change the way I eat. We've got Kim Slater who does our magazine and and does a lot of the things behind the scenes for us. You know she's in that season right now. We'll have her on the show here in a few weeks. To talk about her health journey that she was flung into, as at the beginning of the year with a massive heart attack and, and in the lessons that she's having to learn for herself, but that whole femininity thing feeds so much of your life. It's what builds up your confidence that gets your husband looking at you with a little bit of, Hey, what do you do? And he's doing it in a way because he's more intrigued because he sees the woman that he was attracted to in the first place. It's interesting that you say that I'll quickly say that, you know, when I started my mild personal transformation last year, before that, you know, I was trying to help other other women men, it didn't matter. I just wanted everybody to be aware about cancer, you know, after losing my father and other health issues that attributed that I just didn't. My goal was I don't want anyone else to lose up Father a husband a daughter of themselves, like listen to the signs so I'm so like, driven like everybody needs to work out get up cheapest way to eat this much water. It was like what I woke up every day but that was my passion and I was ignoring my own health. I was ignoring my own grieving process I was ignoring my own fleet, my own health but mental health spiritual health all the things and as I I got a I did a post about this is something I can recall but I remember looking at a picture of myself. I think it was this past summer and I was like, I thought I was in optimal health working, working out six days a week, eating 1400 to 1600 calories a real food healthy greens all blah, blah, blah. meditating journaling, praying all the things that when I looked at myself I was pale bloated 45 pounds overweight. I just had to like look in my eyes and I was like, I stopped. And I was like, on this task to help other people, when did I stop and take care of myself first? Right. And as soon as I did, I mean as soon as we got home from that trip, I don't remember we went to sun river something. I immediately called a nutritional coach. But I knew right away my doctor just oh my gosh, yeah, go take a nap, you'll be fine. You know, I was like, okay, it's got to be deeper. And I started working with the nutritional coach and I and I stopped helping all the other people. I put everything on hold because I was like, I really wait. I'm suffering from vertigo. My hands are numb, my feet are numb. These are all things I was experiencing but ignore right because I was so passionate about helping other people live their best life and be healthy so you don't die like my daddy. That I I didn't you know, pay them for myself. But as soon as I did that the glow came back the weight when I found out I was insulin resistant. So Kyle was a huge thing. I was borderline type one diabetic. Yeah, the bad one. Yeah, um, I changed my eating habits. I, you know, we changed how I work out, changed how I slept, all of the symptoms went away, the weight falling off. And my husband even looked at me He's like, Oh, my God, baby are glowing. Right? People like, we're looking at my pictures, like, what filter are you using? Now using a filter, you're glowing, but your hair is shiny. And it was like, and I looked at myself, and I was like, I feel beautiful. I don't think and I'm not ashamed of this. This is what I want. Everyone's like, so I reevaluate everything but it was like I'm taking care of myself and like And I had no problem looking at. And hopefully it's okay to say that I had no problem looking in the mirror naked. Right? Because that's a woman as a woman, especially after you've had children. Right with the lights on girl, right? Ugly bathroom lights on, right? Like, that's hard to do, but I didn't know I was like, I am feeling myself right now. Now I'm not gonna go into a changing room lighting and I'm loving and feeling beautiful. I feel sexy. I still sleep. I feel gentle. I feel happy. Because I took care myself first. Right, feel feminine. And that wasn't a feeling I felt all before that is so harsh, hard, poor like, ready to take on the world and compete with everybody else and that wasn't feminine. I don't know if that was coming. Right. Well and I think one of the one of the things we we hear a lot of the times is or you know, I worked in the faith base area before I started out on my own after leaving the corporate arena and I went from dressing like a dude because I was always in jeans and T shirt and then I went to work in the church offices. And I knew I needed to look female but I was just how do I I was putting the outer surfaces on it was like treating the symptoms without treating the actual cause. And I would put on an outfit that everybody go oh that looks so cute on you and I would feel the most uncomfortable ever. And it had nothing to do with the outfit. It had everything to do with the skin I was walking around in I did not feel comfortable in myself. And you know you're talking about people sending you the hate messages and and then asking you what filters you use. You use and things like that, which, you know, they're thinking You look amazing. But on the other side, they're also kind of giving a second backhanded compliment, you know, oh, you can't look that good person. And I remember when we started getting those hate messages, first thing I did, I stood up, I dropped my laptop down, and I stood up and I did a little happy dance. Because it's getting people off their balance a little bit. It's getting them to look at things through a different perspective. Making them question something for themselves will have so and so can do it then maybe I can too. Or what the heck is Angie, the biggest tomboy, we know doing starting a women's organization. What gives her the right i mean, i i've had women go, Oh, that's cute. I'm like, okay, you know, and now they're going well, how do we get in your magazine? How do we get on your show? How do we do this? I'm like, well, there's a process but we're friends. Okay, but there's still a process. And I'm not doing that to be mean or ugly. But, you know, I am looking for the people that want in and want in at the at the ground level, because that means that they understand the vision and the mission, we're going after they're not coming in with ulterior motives to go, Hey, you know, this is great, but let's do this. And, and let's steer this your vision, your goal, your passion, let's steer it to the right a little bit or to the left a little bit, so it fits more of what we want. No, this is what we're going for. This is our niche. This is what we're working on, is equipping and empowering women period, in a variety of different ways. And they're like, oh, bitch, it'd be so much better if you'd sign on with, you know, this organization or that organization and I opened up the organization's page and it's just male bashing and, and hating on each other and Like, yeah, not what we're about. It doesn't resonate. Yeah. And so, when we start talking to women, I've watched women open up after going through all that they've gone through, I see what you're talking about, you see that physical transformation, the light bulb moment that comes on, and their whole life changes. And in, you know, I've shared before that, you know, being a veteran, I'm tied to a lot of veteran communities and and I'm telling you, my veteran sisters are the worst of it. I love them to death. But oh my gosh, they wear me out, because they are so stuck in being a victim, but touting that they're a warrior, but they're living in a victim role, because they don't want to fix anything. And I guess that's our biggest uphill battle is how do we get them to hear it enough to where finally they get fed up and start doing something about it. Yeah, I know I that's it. That's an interesting question. I'm not sure. I mean, I again grazers to me I have all my outside family was actually own Navy. Okay. My first husband was Navy. I'm attracted to the servicemen and I think I got some army leaves in there somewhere. I'm not sure but my dad did not serve the police officer and then my mom got pregnant but and she was like, heck no, you need to come home every day. But I don't know if it's the year you spend. You know, somebody you're being told what to do, when to do how to do it that when you're out, right of that environment. You're like, what I mean, because I know that was part of the premises of like us starting the Lightfoot media. My husband starting that I mean when way back even when he was doing Your podcasts and things that when we first started this whole thing, it was like helping veterans get started because they spent so many years being told. When when to eat, when to make your bed, where to put your shoes on, when to shoot when to do all the things. And then when you're out, it's like nobody's telling you what to do. Right and when to do it. You don't do anything, but you got to do something. And, and I know that that that was that was helpful for a lot of veteran entrepreneurs with being able to go to Eric and him saying, Okay, this is how you start, but I'm you I can only get you so far. You've got to take it from there. Exactly. That might be it for the women desert you know, maybe that's that mindset of like, okay, switch it just a little bit and and remember what that authoritative voice of you being told what to do, and now tell yourself like, speak to yourself in that. Yeah, I mean, I and I like I said, I I'm just speaking from, from experience, veterans wife. Well, and you've had a front row seat to watch all of that. And do we want to go ahead and give you a shout out there? Because in addition to your hats that you wear for fierce and beautiful wellness as a coach there and leading people there, you've just been named CEO of life flip media, haven't you? Yeah. So yeah, yeah, that that is an amazing thing in itself as well. I asked if they came with a pay raise. He says, Wait, we get paid. Yeah, so tell us a little bit about that for just a few minutes. I'm not sure exactly what to say. I think he just woke up one day with a brilliant idea. No, actually, I think it's it's a great power move for him. Because he was actually wearing way too many hats and I, I think it's a great obviously it's a great move for it to be a women ran and owned business. It's a different type of demographic with a power move. So I know that there was a lot of driving behind that. But he takes a lot of guidance and advice of mine. And I really wanted him to be able to focus on what she's really good at, which is working with our customers. And you know, the me I don't understand that part of the business you know, the media bookings and the article places I that part of it I'm like I have too much going on and this three little head of mind when it comes to business when it comes to making sure that we are on the right path. And that our business plan, our business model needs tweaking or just seen or we're not that's my forte. Right? So we just decided to to do a title change. And and I think that puts us a little bit ahead of the game, especially being a woman. Yeah, having that see I mean, I my LinkedIn is blowing up ever since I changed that. Yeah, we're having a business meeting, in fact today because since he made that announcement, just that I know, but I mean, what we're getting into because I'm like, at the end of the day, this is his baby. This is his dream and his but we talked about it for the last year or so. And I just said when you're ready, then I will not lead you astray. Well, that what that is fabulous. You need to change your LinkedIn. I made it official. Yeah. Did you find out From one of his Facebook Lives, or did he actually tell you in person? He told me in person. But you never know. You know, Facebook or my Instagram Stories like what we're doing what I just saw that she didn't tell me. Oh, I literally in the next room. Yeah, you could just tell reviews. Exactly. All right. Yeah, it's an exciting experience for our business. We've had a massive amount of growth. And I want that growth to continue. So I needed him to be in the right, roll on to focus on that, right. Yeah. It's gonna be good. Yeah. And I think we are going to have him on our leading moment show in a few weeks. I've got to get him to get all the stuff together for us to do that. But having him on our leading moment show, to really talk about how to get started and how to do what he does. And encourage and inspire some small business owners on that page for us. So maybe you can join him when we do that call, but of course, yeah, it'll be a black. Yeah. So we're gonna take another break real quick and we will be back after these messages. All right, we are back with Lucy Mitchell. We are talking about her fierce and beautiful wellness and mindset coaching and all that she does that makes her glamorously beautiful, inside and out. So as we go into this next next segment of our show, what I want to talk with you about is more. I'm going to tell you, this is all purely selfish. I'm going to preface that right off the bat. So a few weeks ago, right before Christmas, peloton came out with that commercial about the bike and everybody lost their flippin mind over it. You know, that was sexist. That was this that was that and I'm sitting here going well, what we didn't See, he was maybe she asked for the bike. Maybe she didn't because you know, quite honestly, I would like a peloton. But my husband kind of refuses to buy me one right now because I made such a big deal at a date. He took me out on one night he took me to dinner as he goes, you want to go to Jason's deli, so not particularly. He goes, come on, we can go get a salad bar. Fine, you know, so we go to Jason's deli, and we get the salad bar and we eat our dinner. And then we go to Walmart, which we had to get dog food or whatever. And he goes back to the bike bicycle section back there. And he's like, Hey, I was looking at these the other day. Did you see this bike? Do you want this bike? This bike would be a fun bike to have. Don't you want? Don't you don't want a bike? I do not want a bike. He's like, Oh, come on. You'd have fun with this one. You'd like this one. Are you sure you don't want this bike? Come on. We ended up walking out of Walmart with a bike that night. So I told him I said the theme of that whole date was Hey, you're complaining about not feeling good. So why don't you lose some weight and ride a bike, you know, eat a salad ride a bike. So we give him grief over that all the time. But my biggest thing is not about riding that bike. It's about I've had some balance issues, I've had some things that I just don't trust, the agility of my body right now. So balancing myself on two wheels is kind of a freaky idea to me, but I like the peloton idea because I feel like I could slowly progress until I got that confidence back. But, you know, you said that you the reason I'm bringing all that up is because, you know, you said that you like to cycle and you're a fitness fanatic and in So talk to me about I know some people that say jump all in, go all in and go as hard and as fast as you can until your body stops you and then there's people that are going, alright, if you're going to fail at that, then you need to ease yourself into So, I know you kind of help people break down their mental hurdles over things like this. So help me break down mine for a little bit. Okay? Nothing like putting you on the spot. the peloton is amazing. Um, and that ad was ridiculous because we don't know the backstory, right? So why people got all on the Tuesday just because she happened to be skinny doesn't mean anything because there could have been a whole mental thing. She could have been skinny because she had an eating disorder. And you know, and so moving her body was going to help this so she could eat real food, there could have been a myriad of things, or it could have been that she had social anxiety to go outside. So she got the bike so that she could like, start to connect with people. There's so many different things that I deal with on a daily basis. I You know, I use a virtual workout platform, through Beachbody on demand. Mm hmm. Because I do work from home so a lot of my workouts are done through that platform. I do have the peloton and then I do love my local cycle bar cycle bar and Tiger get your shout out. But he has always been when I talk to everyone is you start at step one, do you look at a baby and prop them up and tell them to run a marathon? Right? No. Step a step by step. I've been working with my mother who has bad knees and it's always been an excuse. What has not worked out a day in her life. She's 68 years old. She talks every day about losing the weight. And I say okay, Mama. Well, it's, you know, 80% nutrition, it's 20% movement. So you've made your choice. If you want to eat the way you want to eat that by the left Work on the 20% of movement. Maybe it's just you sitting in a chair with one pound weight, and you're doing bicep. Right? And you're just working on understanding the movement and we go up to two pounds until you feel confident and comfortable. You know, or I'll work with other people that say, Okay, if you have a problem with consistency, do not find an eight week 10 week program, because you're going to be done after two days. All right. Start with something that is and there's so many apps out there, I'll backtrack there so you don't have to do just what I do, which is Beachbody. I always say there are so many peloton has a free app and that you can use on any bike on a treadmill. They have weighted programs, they have yoga, they have wonderful meditation programs that I love to use. And there are other apps as well that you could download that has on if you Have a beginner where you start at and that and you start at basically what you're comfortable with. And if it's just one day you conquered that one day you're winning. And you could go on to day two. And there's been many times that I've started over. I mean, I had three babies, I had to be one. Sometimes Mondays every Monday is my day one, especially if you're a football team. Day one, right after the Super Bowl is day one. But I think you know, I you always want to talk to your doctor to start and talk to your doctor about any current medical conditions that you have. And then be you have to have an internal conversation with yourself and be like, how important is this to you, not to others to yourself. Right? What changes are you wanting to see logically, ideally, we want to wake up tomorrow and be 50 pounds lighter, all because we took two steps down the street. I ran a marathon there. Go I should eat 50 pounds lighter, right? It doesn't work that way. I ate a salad. And I bought a bike at Walmart. I lost 50 pounds. Right now, that doesn't work that way. It's a great start. But I but I always say you have to write out a plan and you have to write out a plan that will work for you. And if you can't do that alone, and that's when you reach out to people like me, who says, Okay, we're going to start with just the day one we're gonna do a four week plan. And after you talk to your doctor, you've gotten clear that there's nothing you have stability issues. I'm not going to say I want you to start balancing on one foot if you have stability issues, that's not you're going to get discouraged and defeated. But if you can handle you know, you can go for a 30 minute walk. Walking is one of the most beneficial 30 minutes a day walking is one of the most beneficial kick starters to a weight loss journey out there. Not cycling, not weightlifting. Plain old, angry dog. Well, I think just being outside helps mentally and emotionally and then and then the movement, you start waking up parts of your body that you don't realize were asleep. Well, not only that, but then you're also you're getting if you're, you're getting a break from the kid. Maybe it's a stronger and go for a walk. But if it's, if you're cooped up in the house all day or you've been in an office all day long, you get outside you get the fresh air, you get the oxygen from all of the plants that are around you. You get cute you're around nature, you could put the personal development into your ears and start a good book. Listen to an amazing podcast. I don't know maybe warrior diva out there. Um, you know, and and you're not only working your body, but you're working your mind. Those two working together will kick start an amazing weight loss sustainable journey. Well, I think that's where I start. I think a few years ago I I lost roughly 100 pounds and I did that strictly by walking there was there I changed you know, I'd done some intermittent fasting I had done some other things you know as far as weight loss goes, it was all around nutrition and walking. That was it. And I walked five miles a day. I didn't start off walking five miles a day I started off being winded walking down the street and back but it you know, by the time I was to a good steady pace, I was at five miles in under an hour. But I kept you know, going okay, well I've kind of nailed this I'm, I'm one of those people that are not consistent. So I'm adaptable is my number one strength I'm the Strength Finders thing, which means I can roll with the punches but I always strategic backs it up. So I always have something else. I'm planning in background to if this goes awry, I already know where we're going next. So the whole walking thing was fabulous for me because it helped with the weight loss. It was, whenever I tried to stretch beyond that, I started pushing my limits. And about that time is when the doctor says, you know, you really don't need to be doing any hit right now. Any high intensity, you need to keep it low. Well, that kind of took the wind out of myself and I kind of sunk back into. Oh, but see, I like the CrossFit stuff. I like some of those things. And he's like, yeah, just not right. Now. He goes, let's get some of this other stuff under control. And then we can go in there. And then it just made me feel old and grumpy. And there was a mental game that I was having to battle for a while over that. Because, you know, that was there was almost like I was accepting a sentence that he wasn't even giving me he was just saying, Let's get you to a certain point before we start doing that. And I was like, Well, if I'm not there, I don't want to I don't want to work any harder to get there. It's not coming off fast enough. It's not doing what I want it to do fast enough. And like you said, We live in an instant gratification society, you order in a box, and you drive to a window, and it's there. So we want the weight loss to come off just as fast as that burger is delivered through that window. Yeah, and I think I was talking to a potential client, in fact, just this past weekend, who was like, I have been doing keto for six weeks, and I've gained six pounds and I'm doing CrossFit. six days a week and I don't understand why nothing is moving in. And I said, Okay, well, that's what I'm hearing is what you're doing for the last six weeks isn't working. So we're going to start over and she looked at me and I said, don't get defeated. What I've seen because I have not been working with her and I've been what I would recommend. Okay, continue to CrossFit. That's it. Yes, that's it, you live naked. But women over the age of 40 do need weightlifting. cardio is not as important once you get past the age of 40. Because our our muscles and the way our bodies work, our muscles will hold on to fat. Because there's a fight or flight like, Oh, you don't want to have babies anymore. So we're going to hold on to this fact just in case you change your mind. So that way we have a way to support a baby. And I'm like, when did my muscles get to decide if I'm a child Barry like right yours anymore, like you could release that fat anymore. Done and done. It's the science behind it. So weightlifting expands your muscles to release the fat. It's the right type of weightlifting. If you're doing strenuous weightlifting like crossfitters do and I didn't cross it for two years and my father looked at me and said, I'm finally getting the son. I never had Alright, we're going to stop doing that. Yep. Um, so I was like, okay, it's CrossFit works for for certain individuals, and it is great, but just tone it down, don't need to be deadlifting 75 100 pounds or whatnot, stick with just the barbell, and maybe do just four days a week, if you really love that community in that workout, right? And give your body two days of full rest. And that one day can be a day of restoration of yoga, and meditation of maybe walking or whatnot. And I said, and then we'll look, then we look at the diet. And let's maybe do low carb instead of keto, because keto is not long term. No, it's not. If you're gaining weight on keto, which is meant to put your body in a state of ketosis, you should be losing weight. So something else is going on. And I gave her a list of recommendations that I would you know, I'm not a doctor. I just say I would take this list and talk to your doctor about the certain tests, maybe check if your insulin resistant. What's your glucose level? How's your body reacting to certain sugars, things of that nature? And, and it gave her a little bit of hope but but, you know, you've got to do your research and there's sometimes there's a little bit of adjustment and whatnot that I mean, and that's the recommendation. And actually, she just emailed me a little while ago. And then she'd like to work with me. Because her doctor didn't give her the answers that she wanted. And I wish she got more information from me, which is like, amazing, but it's just like, the information is out there. You just have to know how to educate yourself, as well as know the right people to talk to you. And a lot of times doctors just want to get you in and out. And it's just knowing how our bodies change. But once I found out that our bodies want our money, they want to hold on to that because they want us to still have babies. I was like, no, that's not okay. So, yeah, it's that's what I that's what I tell women. That's how I work with with some of my clients. is just sometimes you just got to read That's the wheel just a little bit and it'll kick start your journey and do it the healthy way. Well, I think, I think you also touched on something else as she was paying attention to her body and listening to it going, Okay, what I'm doing is not working. So therefore, something's off. I need to have another person come in and give me an outside view. Because a lot of times we don't even talk to other people about this. We just kind of suffer in silence. Oh, well, I tried this diet or I tried this exercise or I tried this lifestyle change. It didn't work for me. And a lot of the times, it may be just one turn of the wrench to get you running optimally. You know what in NASCAR, they talk about a quarter turn on the the car could totally make the car loose or tight. You know, and a lot of the times it's fine tuning what our lifestyle is and and it's not a throw it all out mindset it's a let's keep making the adjustments until we find what's working and and I think that's where a lot of people give up is they just go oh well I tried that it didn't work well let it's not cookie cutter it's definitely not cookie cutter. And that's why I share so much of my journey on my social media because that's how she found me on and watch how I went from being so cookie cutter to not sharing too much to them all the sudden sharing this new way, you know, when I discovered what was working for me and then really just sharing that it's it's individualistic, right to listen to how your body is responding to, to certain foods to certain movements. And when the ultimate goal I know for me was that I'm not going To be a diabetic, I that's just not what I want my children to see, that's not the life that I want to live. And this is my time right now to change this. And it goes back to making those sacrifices, you know, as a mom and as a woman, like I have to I have to be selfish right now. Right? Because I can't be a mom to my kids, if I'm constantly having to give myself shot. And I'm drained from all these doctor visits everything and what kind of mom Am I going to be for my children? What kind of wife Am I going to be for my husband? What kind of business owner Am I going to be for my clients and for a company? If I'm confused by this, you know, that I'm now I didn't take action. Right. Well, and I think I had I had a friend a couple of years ago that that passed away and she passed away from a recurrence of her breast cancer after her first recurrence of breast cancer she got healthy, she ate the right foods. She did everything right. And the cancer came back and, and she did have a genetic disposition to it as well as you know, other things that that brought it back. But I heard several people say, Well, if she ate everything and did everything right, and she got the cancer again, then what's gonna keep me from getting it and just trying to shift people's mindset to go that you can't go down that road, we are all created differently. We all have a unique DNA to us, that keeps us keeps our bodies moving. There are things in my family history, you know, I've got diabetes on both sides of the family. So I have to be mindful of that and I have to start putting things in place to to not go down that path. But on the other side of it is I also got a couple of cases of cancer on one side of my family. I could park my boat Go, well, you know, diabetes and cancer, they're in the cards for me. So I don't really need to work out, I really don't need to do this stuff because that's what's gonna get me in the end or I saw them try these things, it didn't work for them, so I'm not going to try them. Even though they're my relatives, I'm still uniquely created. And I it does not mean that it's an end result that I will catch that or that I won't be able to beat it. What what I think I've heard you say most all today in several different ways is taking care of yourself sets you up for so much more. And even if it is an illness that comes your way, you're better prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, for taking that that illness on head on, head on because if you're already out of shape, you're already feeling frumpy, you're already down in the dumps. You're definitely not in the mental and emotional state to take on a major illness, that if you're taking care of yourself in so many other ways, than if something comes out of left field, you're much more better positioned to go in in a warrior stance against that. Exactly. Yep, that is correct. And so, so you also do I mean, we talked a little bit before the break about how you do. You're the CEO of life flip media, you you do this as well as, you know, the fitness coaching and mindset coaching. So you're talking about, you know, feeling comfortable in your skin, not letting fear of missing out, you know, derail you. As we get ready to go into the last part of our show, I want you to kind of talk to us about what is the overall message edge that you really feel like you are here and put here on earth to accomplish share anything you want to share about your story and and how you can encourage and empower other women. You shared so much already it's gonna be a rich rich show but we just want to hear from from you as to what what you feel is your mark in the world and how you can help the women that are listening today. Well, I think I stop by called by many a unicorn. And that's that, you know, one of a kind, type individual. And I really do embrace that label. Because I've actually worked really, really hard to to be what other women cannot be And then turn around show them how they can be. So when it comes to self love, you know, we I know personally I have experienced so many things in my life that have shaped me to who I am today and why I want to help other women, my innate need to help others I was a hairdresser for 21 years I was an accountant, I helping my husband, I've PTA volunteer, room volunteer pretty much you need help moving I'm that person. My Drive was always to make other people happy. And and I realized that the end of the day was to fill the void of the lack of happiness in my own life due to abuses and whatnot that I experienced in my childhood. And in working with a life coach over the last year when I was able to finally understand what self love really meant, and how to forgive Others for what was done to me, I really, there's so many women I've even come across in my life that are experiencing that lack of self love. And they're masking it with food, with alcohol with shame, with abusive relationship with a lack of connection to their face. Blaming the world blaming society blaming others for their experiences. And my whole purpose in life is to use the platform that I've been given and my voice to a let them know it's going to be okay. That it's, it's not your fault. Everything is fixable, everything is figured out a ball. And if you need help figuring out that first step, no matter what it is, whether it's your relationship with food, whether it's emotional weight, whether it's physical weight, whether their spiritual weight whether it's figuring out how to take that first step on a treadmill, whether it's that first step on how to learn how to write a letter to your younger self, to forgive your younger self to connect with your younger self. I'm here because that's that's my that's my purpose now. And and it brings me joy I wake up every single day now hoping I'm going to connect to just one, even if it's just one person, and sometimes that one person is myself. It's like I reconnect with myself in some way I discover something more amazing about myself that I had buried or hidden deep down below. Because when when we carry all those burdens, when we feel like our only soul what job in this world is to be a mom. Or are we have no value as a woman in today's society. Or we've only known what it's like to be in the military. We don't know what it's like to be a veteran or are we were a mom and now we're an empty nester and we have no purpose and we were away for now we're divorced and we have no we have no wives or whatever it may be. You can lose yourself and you can lose that definition of what a What a beautiful woman really is. And that's where I come in. And then unconventional. Just sit down have a real talk over a glass of Chardonnay in our closets and that's what we need to do. kind of way I am not I I'm serious. I mean, I have been there I am sat in the closet with a bottle of Chardonnay. My husband's like what do you do and go away? Right I'm in a moment Hmm. And and it's okay. And and I don't I don't have it all figured out. I am not the leading expert in this you do not see me sitting on Oprah couch. I am one of many in this field. I just feel like we need as many voices as possible right now. Exactly. It's it's a layered approach to one I think, I think a lot of what I've seen you say and I've heard you say, we're watching you on social media and listening to you today is, you know, there's a lot of women out there looking for somebody to be an accountability partner for them to lead them to give them to you know, just actually listen to them and hear them and and you're willing to be that person you're willing to take that task on for them if that's what they need, until I told people for the long This time, one of my best friends I worked with her at the church before and, and we would go to the gym and her name was Kim Yates and we would go to the gym and we'd get on the treadmill and she'd go, I go, Okay, how how long do you want to go? And she goes, I want to go for 30 minutes at a two mile pace, he you know, and I'm like, okay, so I punch that all in, and we get going. And about three minutes in, she's like, I'm really not feeling it. And I'm like, sorry, you said you wanted to go for 30 minutes. We're going 30 minutes left, right, left, right, come on, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, you know, and and we finished the 30 minutes. She'd come to me, I'm like, we're gonna do a five mile an hour pace. You know, this is the incline we're gonna do. We'd get on and about five minutes and I'd say I don't feel like doing it. And she'd go great. Let's go get some chips and salsa. She was great for certain areas of my life fitness was not one of them. And so one of the things I want to encourage women that are listening today is if you've got those friends that are great and holding you accountable in your marriage and your spiritual life and all these other areas, I guarantee you most of the time, it's not the same person that can handle all of those areas for you. So I encourage you to reach out to someone like Lucy, who is great in what she does and in the fitness realm and, and in the mental mental improvement mindset improvement sorry, in the mindset realm as well I went mindset blank on that. You too can be a professional radio show host. But anyway, when you when you are coaching them through the min

Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS. This is your host Angie Monroe. And I'm delighted to be with you here today as we tackle a topic that is going to cause some angst for me, but as always, I want to remind you that our website is divasimpact com. You can also find us on Facebook under divas impact and if you want to join our group where we talk about all things diva, you can join us at divas making an impact group. And that's our Facebook group. It's a free group to be a part of. We talk about the podcast, we talk about our our blogs that we have and we just talked about life in general in there. So I look forward to connecting with you there and that is where we share all of our latest and greatest news first, so be sure to join in there. And if you're listening to this podcast today, I would love it if you would subscribe. And if You would like, and comment you would do any of that good yummy gummy good stuff to just help us get our rankings out there and help us grow Because you know what it is when we find things that we really truly like, we like to share them. I mean, that's what women do. We tell other women where the best sales are, how to do each other's hair, the best way to color the gray and, and all of those fun things. We share with each other what we know well, but that's what we need you to do today, because I have a lot of women that come up to us that are wanting to find out about our podcast, and I am just a one man show. And we've got our team that works with us, they share out the news as well. But it's going to take all of us sharing to be able to make the impact that is a significant impact that we're wanting to make. So that's our charge for this week. And, and that's just the housekeeping stuff. Now on to the show. I have a phrase that I use when we do events and when we take road trips and we do things with family or I'm doing things in business and that phrase is participate, don't anticipate. So I have a lot of friends that are strong, well organized friends, some would call them control freaks. I know because I am one myself. And they expect to know all the details of everything we're doing. But I like to surprise people. So last week, we were on a retreat with our team members. And as we were doing our retreat, we had several people that were wanting to know what was next and having an anticipatory plan as to what was coming next. And I'm one of those that like to keep them on their toes. And I want them to be engaged in the moment. Have you ever wanted that for somebody so much that they didn't even understand how fully that could be being engaged and in the moment, so I took the team to Pensacola. We were staying in Destin but I took them to Pensacola on the morning of September 11. We went over to the Naval Air Station there. And we watched the Blue Angels practice. And it was a dynamic site, watching those planes, knowing that everybody there was excited about what they were seeing. But for me, it was a little bit more than that. It was about being there in the moment with the military members on such a poignant date in our history. We had women that were tied to the military, we had women that weren't tied to the military that were part of our group that day. And I just wanted to give them a glimpse of not only the excitement that was felt by the crowd that was there watching them, but the pride that the military members had as they performed for this crowd. And knowing that, as the Blue Angels were flying at, however many miles per hour they were flying, I think they said 800 miles per hour. They were flying 18 inches apart the whole time and one of the girls in my group made the comment, I can't even walk next, my husband 18 inches apart without bumping into them. And they're flying at Mach Speed at 18 inches apart. You know, just having a different fresh perspective on things. was really what I wanted to talk to you about today. It's not being so anticipatory about the way you want something to come out, that you miss the blessing that happens in front of you. So there are people that I have done things with before that we're really good at this. They just went with the flow. They loved every moment that They just took the roles as they came. And they just embraced every moment with joy. And then I have people that had everything lined out in their head how everything was supposed to go. And most of the time, the ones that weren't anticipating, had a better time than the ones that we're anticipating. Because we do this thing called romanticizing a scene before the scene ever happens, right? And then we set ourselves up to be let down. I'm going to use an example here. And this is just a brief example. But coming home from a long trip, wanting our husband to meet us at the door with a big hug, maybe a bubble bath, dinner on the table, all those things that we deem as romantic in our mind, but we never communicate it to our spouse. So when we walk home and they're like, oh, you're home. Here's the mail. laundries open. If you want to wash your clothes, we get disappointed because it didn't play out in real life, like we expected it to play out in our head. Now, I know I'm not the only one that's ever done this because I've heard from other women talking about it before that if they get disappointed because their husband didn't think ahead to order dinner for them, didn't think ahead, to plan to keep the laundry open for them didn't plan ahead, think that they might want a back rub or, or bubble bath drawn or anything along those lines. But what we do find is that when we communicate those things to our spouse, then we can set an intention. But have we ever put the shoe on the other foot? Have we ever asked our spouse how they would like the atmosphere set when they come home after a long trip, or a day at work? Did they walk in the door and they hear us telling them all the things that went wrong with the kids and the dog and the cat that day? Or did they walk into the door with a Hey, honey, how was your day? dinner's almost ready. If you'll just go sit down and relax. I'll let you know when it's ready. Are we giving them a to do list of everything that needs to be done? See, one of the things I've learned in in my marriage, and I'm still learning it some days I'm just gonna be real with you. Some days it's easier than others is to not walk in on my husband when he walks in the door and go, Hey, the lawn need me needs mowed. The tree needs trim the dogs need to be fed. You said outdoor stuff was your stuff you need to get this done. Instead what I do is I asked him how was his day? Does he always asked how my day was? No. But when I wasn't frustrated with him over that I had that conversation with him. And I didn't use words like, you never asked how my day is because that's just untrue. He does. It may not be until 11 o'clock that night that he may ask me he may not ask me in the moment when I asked him may not be until 11 o'clock that night that he asked me or the next day, but he does ask me so I can't use the term he never. Or you always just come in and sit down and you're done for the evening. Well, I can't use those words either because my husband's a very hard working man and does a lot of things around the house to keep things going and he's constantly helping other people. He may not always be helping me, which tends to make me sound more narcissistic. When I go that way, then I'm really comfortable admitting that I may be at times so Here's the challenge. What is it in your life this week that you've got planned down to a “T” must happen? You're going to hit these deadlines, all these things are going to happen. And then what is your belief about that? If it doesn't happen the way you want it to happen? Are you going to throw in the towel if it doesn't happen, dot for dot the way you want it to happen. Are you going to be able to go with the flow? Are you going to be able to embrace the opportunities that come your way? Are you going to be able to stop and smell the flowers because you are not anticipating but you are participating in the beautiful life that's unfolding in front of you. There are bad things that happen every day. It may be a car wreck, it may be a illness diagnosis, it may be one of many, many things that are bad things that come your way. But there are also the possibilities of some very beautiful moments happening during those bad things. I'm going to give you an example. A friend of mine, mentioned to me the other day that while she was at the hospital while her husband was being diagnosed with an illness that will cost him his life. She had the moment to sit with a woman who was 99 years old. On her toughest day, finding out that the man she loves will be gone, according to what the doctors say within two years due to this illness. She took the moment to smell the flowers and visit with this woman and hear great stories of faith of what God can do. See, she could have been focused on what the doctor said that day. But talking with that 99 year old woman, she found her faith. She found An opportunity to grab on to her prayer life like she's never grabbed on to it before. Don't miss the blessings that are all around you. Take a moment. Instead of just shouting your order into the box out at the local drive thru. Be sure to learn the name of the person that serving your food, call them by name, talk with them. Ask them how they're doing and wait for it. stop and listen to the answer. Don't just say it so flippantly. Be willing to let your life be interrupted to see the beauty in your life. Let's not be so regimented. This is something that is very hard for me because I'm a D personality. So I tend to kind of schedule this into my schedule until I get comfortable enough doing it on the fly. So the other day, we were driving back and we were stopping at the Bucees in Orange Beach, Alabama and if you're listening to this and you don't know what a bucees is, is just come to Texas. We can show you what a bucees is.. But I was talking with one of the young men behind the counter and I called him by name. I told him Thank you Colby. I appreciate your help with this. And he was so surprised that I took the time to look at his name tag and know his name. So I sat and talked with him for just a few minutes more. He wasn't busy. I wasn't holding him up from anything. But just giving that personal touch. I got to meet a very, very sweet young man who was not only concerned with himself and serving his customers, Well, he was awesome at making sure his team members knew that “hey, the time is getting close. And you're you're almost off the clock. I hope you are excited about what you've got going on out outside of work today.” He was really invested in the people and he was around. But see, if I just rushed up there and got my order from him and took off. It wouldn't have been as magical a moment, I wouldn't have known his name. And I would have missed out on watching someone serve their fellow human beings so well. So, that's all I'm going to talk about today. I just want to remind you to be participatory in your own life. Don't be anticipating so much and setting yourself up for failed hopes and dreams. It's okay to hope and dream, but don't romanticize them to the point that they're unattainable. Set yourself up to be participatory, to communicate your hopes and dreams in a way that you can see them walk themselves out. So, as always, I'm your host, Angie Monroe. And I hope you join us next time on the warrior divas podcast We're going to talk about more things that are real topics that real women want to discuss. So when unTill next time, this is Angie Monroe. Talk to you soon. Bye bye

Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. This is your host, Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am super excited about getting to talk with you again this week. It's one of the highlights of my week is putting this podcast together and getting an opportunity to connect with you on another level. Many of you know we have our magazine out that you can go online and and read about we have our upcoming conference where you can meet us up close and personal and have some connection time with us. And and we've got our blogs up and going again. And we've got more people writing and guest writing for a magazine and for our blogs. And we always are welcoming all of you to be a part of that. But each week when I come together and I put these, these podcasts together, I'm really just looking at what is it that I'm hearing from the women that that we're interacting with? What is it that they need to hear on a more broader scale. And so that's why I'm super excited about coming in and doing the podcast and those of you that are watching on video, maybe noticing a little bit of a different scenery behind us we've we've made some strategic changes to be able to continue to add more to what we're doing for our women. And if you don't even know that we have a video version of it, it is on YouTube, we have a warrior divas podcast you can find on YouTube. And you can go click and subscribe and listen and engage with us. And we would totally love to just have another platform to engage with you on. Sometimes it's easy to put a face with a name and listen to somebody watching them for a little bit kind of get to know him a little bit better. So you'll see me and all my beautiful glory. I try and put makeup on. So fair warning there. But I try not to be inauthentic. One of the things is kind of a take me as I am kind of girl, it doesn't mean that it that I don't struggle with putting on airs for people as they say, does that mean that there's times that I don't go, Well, I know I could be better this than this, or I know I am better than this. So I'm just going to fake it till I make it I've had some of those too. I know. I know there are some of you out there feel like you're in that fake it till you make it stage. And then there's times that I am way more than I'm giving myself credit for. And I'm kind of dumb it myself down so that other people will find me more palatable. And that's a rough thing to, to realize and to, to embrace for yourself. Like I said, we've got our conference coming up in October. And if you want to know anything about what we're doing, where we're going all that stuff, you can find all that information out at divas in pack.com. And you can listen to podcasts, Watch the YouTube, subscribe to the magazine, submit blogs, read blogs, you can do all that on our site there. But what I'm finding lately is I have a lot of women coming to me, and they're looking for a pace that they should be running at, they're not quite sure. They don't want to come in and seem too intimidating. And that blows my mind. I know. It's something that I myself dealt with early on. And I'm if you haven't been able to tell by now I have a fairly strong personality. And it can be a little off putting I have been told sometimes in words that are not as nice as off putting. But in that, it's mainly that I have a strong sense of self confidence that if I'm going to accept a task, I believe that I have the ability and the skill set and the right people with me that we're going to accomplish that task. And so there's a certain confidence that comes with that. It's not something that we really put our finger on, it's not something that we even really realize I was talking with a good friend. And just the other day about this. There's some women that walk in a room and they wait to be seen. And then there's some women that walk in a room, and they're looking to see other people. Well, this friend and I are those ones that walk in a room looking to see other people. And I'm not talking about the big names in the room, I'm looking to see the woman that sitting by herself. I'm looking to see a woman I haven't connected with yet. I'm looking to see that friend of mine that's walking in the door that looks a little beat up from today's function and trying to get to where we're at, I'm looking at beyond what most people are looking for, like, years ago, I would sit in a church service and and we'd have what we call a prophetic service. And it just meant that they were giving words of encouragement. And a lot of times it was pastors sometimes lay leaders that were giving them words of encouragement to different people, just something God had placed on their heart. And I remember there would be times, I would sit in that service just hungry for word for myself. And you know, you had to sit up on the stat sheet on the seat a little better, you straighten up, you lean in, you press in, you're trying to without jumping up and down and raising your hand, you're trying to let them know that you are wanting a word. Well, here's the deal. When I go to networking events, when I go to women's events, when I go to speak at church, or at even corporate training offices and things like that, I can normally tell by the body language of the woman in the room, which one needs somebody to pay attention to them. See, we all have a desire to be seen, accepted and heard. And I don't know that we are all very good at helping others be seen, accepted and heard. I'm definitely not the best of it. I am not typically known as a relational type of person. But I approached my relationship building kind of as a task because I'm a test person. And I made that as as a task for myself. So I didn't use it as an excuse of I'm not a relational person. So I don't have to do that. I made it something that I could wrap my brain around to know the importance and why it's important in my life. See, it was 2000 I think was 2009. I had gotten an invitation 2008 I'd gotten an invitation to be a part of a Bible study at our church offices. We had already had a problem that there weren't many life groups for women that met at night. And so those of us that work during the day really didn't have a place to go. So are we had a Bible study that we met in the morning before work started. And it was in that Bible study that morning, that one of the women's pastors came up to me and asked me if I would be a part of a new group they were forming called Wild women in leadership development. And more than just wanting to be a part of that group. The most impactful moment of all of that was that somebody saw me as a person, somebody that had value as somebody that was worth being invited to things. They said, We know you're busy. We know your schedules demanding with your work. But if you and your boss can work out the hours, we'd love for you to be a part of it. Well, the working with the boss took a little finagling and things like that. But we got it done. And I was able to attend women in leadership development, which is where the seeds for divas impact now warrior divas podcast, and our magazine and the blog and all of that came out of that what women and leadership development course that that I went to. But here's the other thing. A lot of people look at me and tell me you're too busy. Or I didn't invite you because I thought you'd be too busy. I want to make it very clear that I have heard this said to pastor, I've heard this said to strong business women. I've heard this said to moms that volunteer in their community. I've heard this said to many, many, many women. And here's, here's the the truth of the matter is yes, we are busy, a lot of us are doing them a myriad of things. We're about juggling home, and health, and family and spirituality, and all of that stuff. And we need an outlet for somebody to just see us see us as worthy of spending time with without wanting anything from us, and just to be invited and accepted. So when I worked as a assistant for a pastor, I realized how many things were happening that they weren't inviting the pastor to. Because they assumed he was too busy. And so one of the things I started doing was I started praying for my pastor, I started praying friendships in my pastor, I started praying relationships. And for my pastor, I started praying relationships and friendships him for his wife, so that she would get people that they couples they could go and do things with. And then somebody said something very empowering to me. And she said, You know, I used to be the one that always had parties always did things and never invited anybody, any of the busy people in my life to it always invited those of us that were just always hanging around. And she served realize that her circle of friends was getting stale. You know, there was no, everybody was starting to agree about the same things. There was no friction and friction is not bad. It's a really good thing. It's just having healthy boundaries to have that friction, right. So she started to realize that there were more people she wanted to get to know and wanting to invite in. And so she started challenging other people in her group to start inviting people in. And one of the people that she finally asked, she goes, I know you're super busy, I know you probably can't come. But I wanted to invite you to this. And the lady goes, you know, I've been watching the stories about your group meetings and all your girlfriends getting together. And I've been jealous that nobody has ever invited me to be a part of something like that. And my friend told her said, Well, I just assumed you were always too busy. And she says I am busy. But I also need friendship. I also need companionship, I also need to build relationships with other people and take time for me. So if you're okay to ask the question, knowing that I may not be able to come every time, but I'm going to try my best to come as many times as I can, and not be afraid of me rejected you by saying I can't make it this time, then I will absolutely be there every time I possibly can. This totally blew my friends mind. My friend was like, it really wasn't about me thinking they were too busy. It was about me thinking that they may judge me for not being busy enough. I want you to catch that. It wasn't about my friend thinking this other lady was so busy that she couldn't be a part of it is about how she thought that lady was going to think about her at a conversation earlier this week with another podcaster. And we're going to be on each other shows here soon. But she was talking about making a transition. And she had worked in the school systems and as a teacher and school administrator for many years. And even though she she's taking two years to make the transition, she stepped away from that in May of this year. And there were some things that she shared, that were just inspiring to me, she said there was it wasn't so much what other people thought of her. But what she thought other people would think of her. See, that's what we call a self limiting belief. You are giving yourself I know you're giving yourself a limitation you are holding yourself back from something without ever posing the question out loud. Because we're doing a battle within our brain. We're battling between our ears, what never gets articulated. So I told you about the women in leadership development class, you know, that led to more that led to me being included in more things and being involved in more things and engaging with more people and building more relationships and serving our women's ministry helping out with the the events throughout the year and things like that. And when it was time to put that down. There was a a sense of will they even remember me? Was my impact big enough? See, I never did it for people to know who I was feel important, self important, any of that stuff. But as I was stepping out of it, all of a sudden, I was worried, you know, Will people know that I left of my own accord did will people remember the good things that I did here. And that did I set a set a bar a standard for others to come behind me and meet and excel at, and all those conflicting things came at me. And then it was just Angie, rest. So that's what I had to do that into an 18 month sabbatical that I went on, of just resting of just hearing myself and believing in myself and knowing who I am and what I was created for. And as where I thought I had dealt with stuff. Over the years, what I'd really done was I had stuffed and suppressed. And I use that term quite often when I'm talking with women is we go in and it's kind of like the old cartoon where they sweep the dirt underneath the rug, right? Why it swept the dirt underneath the rug so much that now the rug was taller than I was. And I just assumed that I always get back to that I always get back to that kind of the same way we throw things in the junk drawer and said will always come back to that right. And we never do that stuff in the junk drawer. There's stuff that's been there for 20 years, we've never touched it never used it. But we still have it in the junk drawer. Right? Same with the Stephen suppressed method. So with this, what I'm trying to bring about in you, what I'm trying to help you to realize is sometimes we get addicted to busy. My friend and former colleague, Brady Boyd wrote a book called addicted to busy, we get so busy doing things and we're doing them not so much to make ourselves look good or do good. A lot of times we're doing it because we're running away from dealing with the things we had slipped swept under the rug the stuff and suppress stuff we did. So in that 18 months that I took time off, things that I thought I dealt with years and years and years before, I still hadn't really dealt with just because it was out of sight didn't mean it was out of forming my thoughts, my opinions, my heart, my heart decisions, my mind decisions around things. There were fears that were brought up that I didn't quite understand why I had those fears. But they were attributed to things that happened 20 years earlier. There were there's going to be continual hurts and things that come up in life. But your reaction to them may be magnified. Because you haven't dealt with the previous ones, right. So earlier this week, I was sitting with Kim Slater, she's the one that puts our magazine together our beautiful magazine that we have. And she and I were talking about working with a couple of different people on some projects and all this stuff. And and I had some anxiety building up. Now. I've been doing this for 10 years, I've been doing business consulting, nonprofit consulting, launching books, all that stuff for 10 years. All right. So it's not like it's something new to me, it's not like, I'm going out for the first time trying to sell this project or, or coach this client or any of that stuff. I'm good there. That's not the problem. But some of the verbiage that had been used, whether it was intentional or not, brought up some anxiety in me, mainly because it was tied back to the way I had been treated by a previous client, a previous nonprofit I'd worked with just something that didn't end well, right. And so when things don't end well, and you feel like you've been devalued you feel like you've been used up and abused and all these things. If you don't deal with that, the very next thing you come up against, you're going to feel the same thing. So as I'm recording this today, I am in the season right now of identifying what are those things? How did I set myself up for failure in this? How did I set myself up for success in this in the past, and in the present? There are so many ways that we limit ourselves and we hide and we tried to be the girl that's got our whole thing together when quite frankly, we're put out there in words that I'm good. I'm awesome. I'm perfectly fine. When really we're just a straight up hot mess, right? So somebody asked me the other day about our SMS conference. And they're like, Well, my wife doesn't wear a mask. I'm like, okay, that's great. Can she help other women that maybe are wearing masks, I said, but if she's like most women, I bet you there's some areas in our life, that she hides even from herself. So here's, here's some of the things that I'm just going to share again, being transparent, and authentic with you about myself where I, I, at times, hide behind a mask. And it's a daily progression of just stepping out and trusting and believing that God's going to bring me to the places I need to be brought to. So telling my husband, my husband coming in and asking the question, I know none of you women out here, do this. I know nobody ever does this. I'm the only one. And yes, I'm being sarcastic. But here's the deal. When your husband asks, What's wrong with you? And you say nothing, I'm fine. That's a mask. Because you're not fine. You're livid about something, you you're upset about something you're hurt about something? No, you're not fine. I used to use the phrase you I'm an open book, you can ask me anything. And I would hold my arms out and signal to everybody and make sure they knew that I was a warm and inviting person, right? This was before my sabbatical. But what I realized I was doing during my sabbatical, I went through all my healing was, I was really saying, I'm an open book and I, in mentally, My hands were up in front of me. They were defending me, they were holding people back, because my mindset was, but if you knew me, you wouldn't have had to ask that question. Right. So sometimes the mask is there, not to hide who you are so much, but to hide from people what you don't want them to know about you. See, there's some people that have gotten healing about things. But they know that the audience that they're speaking to, may not be receptive to that. The woman that's had an abortion, and is speaking into a church audience is going to have a little bit deeper of a hill to climb than a woman that's had an abortion speaking on a main stage in a secular world. A woman that's married to a man that they're unequally yoked, or he's an alcoholic, or he's got porn addiction, or maybe she has porn, addiction, those are all things that they don't just bring up in the Bible studies anymore. These are the things that we look at. And we address and we talk about at this unmasked conference we're going to be doing, but these are the things that we look at and talk about every day, in, in my small groups, and in my coaching with women, we want to see you You be the best version of yourself. Excuse me, I'm still getting over a cold. It's been lagging for about a month now. But here's the deal. I want each and every woman to be able to walk boldly and confidently in the belief that they are the best woman for the moment of the life that they are living right now. And the only way we can do that is if we're being honest and open with ourselves, and surrounding ourselves with other women who will be open and honest with us. So it's my hope that you'll engage more with us whether you're listening to the podcast, reading the magazine, being part of our divas making an impact group coming to the mask conference, but not so much so that we can pour into you but the cheer life lessons can help another woman. Because that's the other mask we hide behind. A lot of times we say we've been through this. But we don't ever reach out and help others that are in the thick of it right now. Walk out of it. See, we've already been there. We've already been battered, we've already been bruised, we've already been there. We've already done that. We may have a closet full of T shirts. But until we're ready to turn around and help another woman with our story. Then why did we even accept going through it in the first place. There's a couple of books out there that a couple of other authors and podcasters and stuff that have different approaches is to thank you for raping me, or thank you for my part or my part in the rain or different things like that. And, and those are hard, hard things to accept, you know, they are very hard things to accept. But there's a lesson in everything we go through. It may not be an easy lesson, it may be a very difficult lesson. It may be a brutally honest, gut wrenching tear you up from one side to another lesson you have to learn. But the good that can come out of it to help somebody else is magnificent. And I want to challenge each and every one of you that have had some yuck in your life that maybe have swept it under the the carpet, maybe have ignored, stuffed and suppressed. I want you to just embrace the the suck, right? I want you to realize that there are times in our life that things happen, that suck, I'm just gonna say it, they suck. But if we can embrace the lessons that can come out of that about how much stronger we've become, how much more powerful we become, how we can help others not to put themselves in the rights into dangerous situations how to help themselves to see danger before it comes, how to help them defend themselves, how to help them see that there is far more out there for them than living held captive by the things that have happened to them, then all of what I've been through, makes it so much worthwhile. I don't say that I wish I had had my sexual assault, I absolutely do not. But if I had to endure it, I would want the enduring to happen so that I could benefit somebody else and help them know not to put themselves in the situation that I had myself. Now, I'm not blaming a victim, I'm not accepting blame for a victim, the person that perpetrated me was the wrong person. He did that he was the one that did that. But on the other side of it, some of us are victim of words. Some of us are victim of actions. And until those of us that have been through the suck of life, and embrace the lessons from it, are able to turn around and help those others that are stuck in the mire of the suck and the moment. Then everything we went through was for nothing. So I'm going to talk about today's everyday diva. Because a few years ago, I went through a training class it was called mending the soul. And this was during the time that I was doing my sabbatical. And and I really didn't know what I was getting into. I kind of asked her about the class that she had. And she goes, Okay, you're in my group. That's it. And so I show up this group and the very first meeting at six people in a room and, and I'm told that it's like chemotherapy for the first five weeks. Here's the deal. I've never had cancer. I don't ever want to have cancer, I'd seen people walk through it. But if I had ever had cancer, I would imagine that's what that first five to six weeks were. There were things that I wrote down in that book, there were things that I revealed to myself there was healing that went on inside myself, called mending the soul, where I really did not want to admit. But this leader walked us through ever so graciously non judgmental, non confronting, just kept asking the right questions in the right way to help us have self realization of where we've been and where we're going. And that everyday diva is Janet man or Janet mer manner is a woman who she's small, and she's petite. But she stands 10 foot tall. She is a wife of former Air Force guy who worked as a pilot and just retired they are living the life in Kansas now. And has three children that serve our country, in the armed services and, and she is a force to be reckoned with in the industry spiritual realm. And so she really helped facilitate the journey it took me through to be able to see that the things that happened to me in my past didn't have to hold me captive today. And the things that happened in my past could actually be a launching board for helping other people and not out of a chip on my shoulder. Not out of a I'm a victim mindset. But out of a I have found victory on the other side of the situation mindset. And I am so honored and so excited to name her today is everyday RD everyday divas. And I cannot wait for you to learn more about her. She has a group called real evolution. And she is just an amazing, dynamic woman. And you'll be seeing her more in our divas impact making a divas making an impact group on Facebook if you're a part of that group because what she does and and how she inspires and encourages women is done so with such a tempered hand of firmness, but of grace, and I am so excited to honor her today. So thank you so much for listening this week. Remember, you can nominate your own everyday divas you can submit articles for the magazine. We're always looking for guests to be on our show as we expand our show out to more episodes. And we are looking forward to our time with you next time so until then, have a blessed week.

Planning & Executing work, school, life flow Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. This is your host Angie Monroe and I am excited to be here with you today as we unpack a few fun things that we're going to talk about. The just an early reminder as we get going on in the show, you can always find out more information about what we do who we are how to get in touch with us by going to divas impact com that is divas impact.com you can listen to the podcast you can read our blogs, you can send us messages and learn more about our conference. This Coming up. So, I am going to get us started today. You know, when I started divas impact a few years ago, I told people you know, we want to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others. And it sounded all nice and cute. I talked about, I told them we would talk about things like faith, family, fun, fitness, fashion, food and a lot of other words that begin with F and some that doubt. And, you know, over the time that we've started this podcast, we've talked about several different things. We've talked about freedom. We've talked about finances a little bit. We haven't quite gotten into that one yet. But we haven't talked about fun, and it's the end of summer, schools just got back into session. And one of the things that I'm starting to realize is if parents don't have a good balance in their life work, and I'm not even calling that a balance, I'm calling it flow a work-life flow. Then there, they don't give one to their kids. So this was a little bit more evident this year. My daughter has two kids that are starting kindergarten and I don't have any kids in elementary, junior high or high school anymore. My youngest ones going back to college again. But as we started looking at, how do you plan, when you've gone from a schedule that summer vacation, summer camps, kids home all the time, kids eating you out of house and home, to now you have to plan a structured environment. You have to make sure they're in bed by a certain time. You have to make sure that their homework is done, you have to make sure that you have that time with them. There was a video up the other day on social media about a kid that was getting in trouble with the law because he had posted something in a video game he had written Something out in a video game. And the cops were there. And they were talking to him and his mom and his mom were saying he's just a little boy, he was about 1516 years old. He's just a little boy. And so there was this whole big dynamic that was going on in there. So how do we, if we're not going to invest in time, energy and effort into our life flow to manage our own time? How are we going to teach our children and lead by example for our children to manage their time for their work-life flow? So over the summer, a lot of kids get up, they sleep and lay, they eat and eat and eat and eat. They play video games, they watch TV, if the scheduling around the house is good, they go to camps if they if they don't have the money for camps and they play outside until it's time to come Man, I mean, that's what we did when we were growing up, right? The generation that we had, we didn't have all those video games we had Atari. I'm dating myself there at Atari, Nintendo, things like that. But we didn't have the things that kept us indoors. So summer meant hanging out by the pool, going to the lake playing outside playing soccer, playing baseball, whatever it was, we went outside, we played until our mom whistled, and if we were further away than our moms whistle, we knew we were in trouble, right? So we also knew that when the sun started going down, it was time to go home. The other thing we knew that every parent in the neighborhood had the ability and the permission from our parents to whoop our butts if we missed in their area. So I'm not saying today's parenting is bad. Today's parenting is different than what we had back in my day. So With the challenges of YouTube, and yes, this is on the YouTube channel as well, of YouTube, of video games of cellular devices and tablets and all the things that we have come into our home. How do we find a way to make space for them to make decisions on their own, not just based on what's being fed to them from these devices, right? So, my daughter, she's moved into a new home, she's set up her home with her and her kids and all that stuff getting ready for school, and she had to figure out okay, what do I do for meal plans? How do I set this up? And as I was telling a friend about this, they're like, you know, that's some information that would help me. So I'm going to go over the next few minutes here and just tell you a little bit of how I planned out a week when my kids were growing up to see if that might help some of you parents out there That is back in the thick of things back to school sports starting up all that stuff and you don't know quite how to juggle it. So like I said, I had three kids that are raised. Then we had to bonus kids that lived with us at different times that road back and forth to practices. Their parents were single parents are worked odd hours and couldn't get them where they need to go. So we were those fill-in parents, so to speak. So whenever I got up on Saturday morning, you can choose whatever day of the week you want to do it. I prefer to do Saturday morning, I get up bright and early. I make a list of all the things we had planned for the week ahead. I'd look at the family calendar. I knew when practices where I knew when games were. I knew when they had to stay late at school. I knew everything that was going on from Sunday until the following Saturday, right? And so I would look at what all we had and then I started making meal plans based on what our schedule was. I didn't want to make a five-course meal on a night that we had softball practice, and had baseball games at the same time. No, I needed to have things in place. So Sundays was always a big meal, we'd have a roast or we'd have sometimes it would be like a sports weekend where my kids just needed the veggies for the day. And so Sunday was our day of rest, we'd get up we'd go to church, we'd come home, and I would have things in different crockpots in the house, I'd have wings and I'd have pulled pork for pulled pork sliders, and I'd have all these different things that they could just grab and go throughout the day. And they could rest. They could watch sports, they could do cut, catch up on homework, they could nap, they could do everything and there wasn't a structured time on Sunday for us to just have The formal dinners and everything. Now Mondays, always made sure the meals could be done in 30 minutes or less. So one of the other things I did was a lot of times we cooked up all of our meat for the week on Sunday. So whether I was smoking a brisket or grilling some chicken or making hamburger patties up already, all of that stuff was already done on the weekend, I'd brown up hamburger meat or sausage or whatever to throw in with spaghetti later on the week. There were a lot of things that I did when I had bigger spaces of time, then I did during the week. So then all I had to do is come in warm-up some meat and put on the plate the vegetables that we needed, and if you buy fresh vegetables, I know we've been taught that cans are good. Even frozen is good. They're not there are too many preservatives in there. Fresh frozen is better than canned, and fresh is better than frozen. I'm going to tell you that 100 times over. I know you're if you're watching on YouTube, you're looking at me going, what does she know about this? I'm just telling you, it will make a huge difference in what you're doing. But taking some green beans and pairing it with a chicken, having a salad that you can put on the plate that's already pre-made. You can do a lot of the prep work well ahead of time to where you're just throwing it all together, right. So when the kids come home from school, you're like, Yeah, but when they come home from school, they're starving and they want a snack and all that stuff. We had a basket that's set on our counter. They came in, they could get a certain drink off of a certain shelf in the refrigerator, and then they could grab one snack out of the basket on the counter. And that was all they got until dinnertime, that couldn't eat us out of house and home. That's what they got. There are nights that we had burgers where we would pack burgers in Ziploc bags and take them to the ballpark with us because That's what we could afford to do. Yeah, we throw bags of chips or fruit or whatever with them, but it was stuff we could do. So finding a way to work with your schedule and still feed your family on a budget, because a lot of the times we're looking at things going, why can't feed my family healthfully on a budget? hogwash, you absolutely can. The thing is, is knowing how to do that and knowing where to look for these things. All the grocery stores sell these things in, in the organic and in a non-organic way. If you can't afford the not the organic, don't get organic, get the other ones. But find a way to find a place to start is what I'm telling you. People are like well, I can't eat pasta. I can't eat pasta. That's great. Good zucchini. They have this little thing called a spiral. Iser you You can buy one that fits in your hand spits on the counter, you put it through the spiral Iser, it makes these noodles you throw in the pan, they're done in five minutes, literally five minutes after the water's boiling. If you've gotten on the Insta pot craze, I made BBQ chicken the other night. I'm telling you 30 minutes frozen to cooked, completely cooked, it was all done. And that was me pulling it out of the pot ready to put it on the dish. Nice quick, easy things to keep you from going through the drive-thru. Here's the thing. A lot of us are so stuck on instant gratification ourselves. That's what we're teaching our kids. We go and we order in a box and we drive up to the window and we expect our food to be ready when we get to the window. And so we're disabling a huge generation of children that aren't going to have healthy foods made for them because all they're going to do is speak into a box and drive-thru window to get There, and we need to continue putting steps in place to educate ourselves and educate our kids on how to eat healthily. Now, I'm going to tell you some of the best meals we ever had. My mom and dad, my dad was a police officer. He didn't make a lot of money, my mom stayed home. Back then at it. I don't know if anybody's ever heard of the government cheese. It's kind of like a big block of Velveeta cheese type thing. And we'd have the block of government cheese that we got. My mom would make homemade flour tortillas. That my friend, my friend's mom taught her how to make. We had beans, like the beans that you buy in the store in the bag that you have to soak and then you cook. Well, we'd have been with a meal on Sunday, and then later on in the week, my mom would take those beans and refresh them. Yes, like by hand in a skillet, not in a can read fry them. And then she would take that mix about a half to a quarter to a half a pound of hamburger meat in with those three fried beans. We would have homemade salsa made from our garden because we had peppers and onions and tomatoes we grew in our backyard in this city. Just because you live in the city doesn't mean you can't have a garden. And nowadays a lot of cities have community gardens. So find yourself a community garden to get involved with because so you can learn about growing and educating yourself. So we had those things that we made and we did ourselves and those meals, we would take that that refried beans with the hamburger meat and the flour tortillas, spread it on there with some sausage and some cheese and have our homemade burritos. Those were some of our favorite meals. Another one was back in the day when spam. Now I don't recommend spam anymore but back when spam was cheap, it wasn't a novelty. We would get Kansas spam we would fry that up. We would have to make a sliced tomato sliced onion in a box of crackers and that would be our meal for the night. It's not about being over the top and trying to win Master Chef with your meals and having the perfect photo and all of that stuff. I shared a photo the other night my husband made he's trying to beat my recipe on pulled pork so he decided to smoke a pork shoulder and he brought it in and it had a great taste to it. All that stuff. It just didn't set up the way we would have expected it to had a great taste to it though. So I made the sandwich up with it, put it on the bun, poured some barbecue sauce over it, set it on the plate and the picture looks Amazing even though it was sitting on a styrofoam plate, the food was amazing. But it has, it's not about the pictures. It's not about even having all the right colors on the plate and all of that stuff. It's about finding a way to balance yourself and how you do it. So take a look at your calendar. Look at what can you do this night maybe, you need to do the grilled chicken with a salad and maybe a fruit cup. You can make up a thing of fruit salad on Sunday and it'll last for at least three to four days if you put in the right juices to keep it all going together. Do you? We did this week we did the pork shoulder on Sunday. We did some steak on Monday on. On Saturday. We did the pork shoulder on we did steak on Sunday we did the chicken on Monday, we went out to eat last night, celebrate my daughter, my friend's birthday. But tonight we're doing veggie packets. We're chopping up a whole bunch of vegetables, we're putting them together and we're pairing it with the leftover meat from those meals. Again, reuse leftovers. Don't just use them all at one time. Get your kids involved, have them be responsible for certain parts of the meal, whether it's setting the table, or whether it's helping to wash vegetables or get them ready in a pan or whatever it helps have them get involved. Now, a lot of the times they go Okay, well, that's great. You've made your meal plan for the week. What do you do? I said, Well, then I make my grocery list. Well, here's what I had. When I was growing up. I'd make my grocery list. And I had a spreadsheet that I knew at different parts of the store how the store was laid. out that I was going to. If I was in the dairy aisle, these are all the things I need from the dairy aisle. This is all I need from the meat. I'm a little obsessive-compulsive when it comes to my grocery list, all right. But here's what you have now. You have online ordering. You can go online, you can put your stuff in Walmart, at Albertsons, even Amazon, you can order ahead of time. You can tell them, you're going to come and pick it up at a certain time, and go get your food and you don't even have to walk in the store. Why is this important? Because it keeps you on task. You're not shopping at the store and wandering the aisles looking for things that you don't need. And another thing, if you're in the store, and you're going up and down the aisles, you're probably in the worst part of the store you can be at all the best food for you to be eating is going to be on the perimeter. The store. So you're your milk, your meat, your veggies, all of those things. If you look at a store, they're on the outer perimeter of the store. They're not on those aisles. So let's, let's explore some ways that you can make some wise choices for your meals. Ask your kids what they want. My one of the things my daughter's doing this week is some of the things some of the meals that they've made this week, they're saving some of the meats from that. And they're going to do make your pizzas this weekend. And so they'll have pepperoni and they'll have chicken and they'll even have some beef and some sausage and things like that from their meals this week that they've set aside to go with the meal on Saturday when they make their pizza and the kids are involved. And they've got the little Betty, Better Homes and Gardens, Junior cook cookbooks and Paula Deen Jr. cookbooks and It gets the kids excited about investing in food. I was at my daughter's house last night watching them didn't have to go to a PTA meeting last night. That was awesome. Because my daughter is now having to go to those things. Hahaha. But as I'm sitting there at the meat is there at the meeting the kids were going, we want a snack. I'm like, have you had a snack? Yeah, we had one when we got home. Well, but we want another one. I'm like, well, dinner so much here. You want me to fix you dinner? No, we want to have dinner with mom and dad. Here's the thing that a lot of you don't realize is the table. When you take time to sit at the table with your kids and have conversations about how their day went in putting cell phones away. Don't even let them come to the table. You sit there and have educated conversations with them. They will unveil their whole world to you. You just have to show that you're interested. I know some of you are sitting there going well, we don't have time to sit at a table. We don't have time to do this. Make time at least twice a week to do this. It's important. There are test results and, and surveys and all that stuff that shows that kids learn and grow better and better adjusted. When they have dinner around the table, their grades are better. There's so much that happens when you have that bonding time at the table. Some people look at you nowadays and go, well I don't even know my child. Well, when was the last time you sit down with your child, when was the last time you sit and had a conversation with him? Other than talking at them. So these are some of the things that we want to work on with the life flow, get them out from behind those video games have them being involved. Another thing that happened this week is a sporting goods store and an NFL player went shopping with some of the kids for our local youth sports activity, a youth community program we have here. You heard us talk about a couple of weeks ago when I had Tracy Robertson Coburn on Metsys peewee football and cheerleading Association. Every community has a sports league that doesn't matter if it's soccer, softball, baseball, across hockey, archery, whatever it is, they have these youth organizations that are important to the community. They're important because it's work kids learn to test their limits. It's where kids learn to believe in themselves and build self-confidence. They learn how to fail forward, they learn how to be successful, even when they're not winning. So there's a lot of things that come from being a part of these youth organizations. And I want to challenge every one of you You do not only put your children in one, but find a way to be invest involved yourself, whether it's as a team mom, a coach, and investor, whatever that may be. We have gained over 20 years of our 20 plus years of involvement in this organization. It's going, my husband's been involved for over 20 years, I've been involved probably over 40 years with this organization. We have had friends and loved ones that we trust to no end. And I have learned lessons from them. They have learned lessons from me. And we were the parents that help support each other when life got yucky, right. Sometimes people go well, that's my church, and that's great if your church is that way for you. But you know what, there's a lot of churches out there that just aren't that way for their people. So today I want to challenge every one of us to find a Way to feed our children and invest in our children, feed them with sunshine, make them get outside and play. Make them get out from behind the blue light of the computers in the video games, find a way to invest in them with time and energy, spit around the dinner table. Find a way to invest with them by feeding them healthy Whole Foods and find a way to invest your flow of life by knowing that you're going to touch generations with what you do today as their mom. As I said, I've been dealing with the cold over the last few days. And so my voice is a little cranky and a little congested today. So I apologize for all of that. But today before we get going I want to talk about our everyday diva I know the example of the importance of these things. Because my friend Kim Slater, who does all of our creative design here, her mom is somebody that helped instill some of these things and her mom is our editor for our magazine and our blogs and, and when we do our podcasts, she rewrites. She gives a fresh take on the podcast every week and the blogs that we do. And her name is Susie Tracy. And she is phenomenal at what she does. But she also knows the importance of spending time and investing in your children. And so she's our everyday diva today because we are benefiting right now of the investment she made in her daughter. And she's making now in her granddaughter and her daughter is making in her daughter See, we're not talking about divas impact being something that it's just you and me in a room and we're just going to talk and happen and it's going to be us getting our stuff done. Now what we're looking at is we're trying to make a shift, a cultural shift from where we're at right now, to doing better, being better, and paying it forward better. Then, then the last person. Now again, I'm your girlfriend, and I'm not telling you that your parenting bad, I would never call a mom out on parenting bad. What I would do is I would say, if you're struggling, let us know how we can help. And only you know if you're struggling there, well, that some of us may be able to see it. But until you're willing to admit you're struggling, you won't accept the help. So feel free to email us you can email us at podcast at divas impact com you can nominate an everyday diva, you can recommend a guest to be on our show. And you can send us your fun things, your family mealtimes, your special hacks, life hacks that you do to help your family stay on task and, and grow and develop and to have that good work-life flow, school life flow, whatever that is for you. And so today, I just want to thank you for joining us and being with us. And as always, I look forward to seeing you next time. Be a diva. make an impact.

Hello, and welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe. And as I like to remind you, I am your girlfriend. So, we are going to dish a little bit today, but before we get started, we want to be able to talk with you in real life in our Facebook group, and even other social media streams. Just reach out, touch base with us. I know we've got a lot of people out there that are authors and speakers that listen to our show. Maybe you're wondering how to be a guest on the show. Maybe you're wanting to submit a blog or magazine article to our beautiful new magazine, then go on to our DIVASImpact.com and put in a request there. You can submit it all online there. And then also, don't forget about our conference in October, it's going to be amazing. It's DIVASImpact.com/unmasked is where you can find out information about it. So today, we're going to talk about staging a comeback, right? So, if you're staging a comeback, I think I heard Serena Williams say you got to go somewhere first before you can have a comeback, right? Well, Serena Williams didn't go anywhere. She just had a baby, she stayed in shape the whole time she was pregnant, stayed in shape after her pregnancy, all of that stuff, and came back and just kind of cleaned up the court with people in truth or in a true Serena fashion but how many of us feel like we have things come out of nowhere in just BLINDSIGHT us, right. Like a railroad train going down the track and out of nowhere gets wiped out by mudslide. How many of you can say that you've actually had a situation in your life where that felt like it happened? Well, I know I've talked before about 2013. But let me talk to you about 2014. 2014 I had already booked speaking engagements I had from June of 2014 on. I was setting my speaking calendar; I was making plans I was excited. My youngest one would be graduating high school. And after 20 something years of raising children, I was going to be able to do what I wanted to do, and not have to worry about other people's schedules and, and just only be yourself possible to my husband and I for my schedule. And I know there's a couple of moms out there that have given up on your dreams, and I want to challenge you today to not give up on your dreams. One of the biggest things you can do for your children is pursue your dreams with a passion, because it helps them see that they can pursue their own dreams, right. So, one of the things that I hear from women all the time is I don't have the energy to dream. Well now you don't have the energy to dream you're too busy fanning the flame of your husband's dreams, the fan of the flame of your children's dreams, and taking care of me all the snotty noses and, and carpooling and all the stuff that goes in between all of that, right. But here's the deal. We've talked about it before, we're going to talk about it again, in the future, I'm sure you've got to take care of yourself first. It's not selfish to take care of yourself first. So, 2013 was off to a good start. I had all these things booked and planned. And in the summer of 2013. For the fall, for the following summer in 2014. I was super stoked. I was writing talks right and left, I've got file drawers of talks that have never even been heard people, file drawers of them. Because I was still honing my craft, even when I didn't have a platform to speak it from. Can I get an amen on that? If I really wanted to be a speaker, and I did not have the bandwidth to go out and do it at the time, I would still write the talk that I was going to give what was important what was impression upon me at the time. And you know what, now all I have to do is go back through those drawers and clean up those talks today for where we are today. There's some lessons I've learned since I wrote that talk that now makes that talk even better. say there's something that you're wanting to do today and you're going there's no way I can do it, but there's something you can do towards it. So how do you stage a comeback; you start doing today what you can so that your comeback can be epic. So, like I said 2013 July, end of July rolled around and I woke up to the most god awful wailing sound I had ever heard. I ran downstairs and it was my youngest daughter. She had had a few classmates that had been killed overnight. in a car accident. These are classmates when I say their classmates, they were more than classmates. My daughter was a trainer with their high school football team, wrestling to basketball team, you name it baseball team. She was the trainer for the high school. And a lot of these guys she had grown up from elementary on with, we had had them in our home. We had car pulled them. They were special young men. And in an instant, we lost three of them in one car accident out in New Mexico. And it didn't just impact my daughter. It impacted the whole community that was around us. And it was the next day that I went and I had a conversation with my friend Carrie. And we had determined that it was time for me to step away from volunteering in this department I was volunteering at the church is just that season was ending, right? I mean, we all have seasons in our life. And it was time for this one to end. And about a week later, my oldest daughter called home from college and told us she was pregnant and about a month later, we found out it was twins, the house we had bought, owner financed, something had gone awry with the people that we bought it owner financed with and we were going to be homeless at the end of October, which happened to be the same day that my son was leaving to join the army and my fake son Ricky was leaving two weeks after him. Let me just tell you, going from a high in July of this is what my future looks like to being at the end of October going. Where am I going? What am I doing? What does this look like? It was a total mudslide running the train off the tracks moment, right. And it was during that time that I really felt that I just need to push pause. I didn't know what the future held. But I also know that I couldn't see it well enough to make future plans. I needed to be in the moment. And that's what I'm talking about with some of you right now. Some of you right now just need to be in the moment with your family, maybe you've got little ones maybe you've got ones in junior high, in high school. And, and for me, I don't know about you. But for me, my children needed me more at home during their junior high and high school years than they ever did during their elementary and preschool years. They needed someone to be accountable to, they need to know that mom was going to be there and checking the homework and making sure they were in bed at night. And, going where they said they were going to be going and not just wandering willy nilly all over the town, right? So that that puts a damper on things when you have to be a little more hands on, and you're thinking the teenage years or when I'm going to be set free, and it's really not that way, a lot of the times you need to progress and you need to be more involved. As hard as that season was that when lasted until December of 2015 or December of 2014. So basically, July of 2013 to December of 2014 was all focused-on family. I still wrote I still had hopes I still had dreams, I just didn't have a deadline or a date to those hopes and dreams coming real. So that's my message to you today. Your comeback can still be a comeback. If you just take a step towards it, no matter what it is just a baby step towards it each and every day. Now, a couple of years ago, I had a friend of mine who was going through a bit of this and you'll read about her story a little bit in our magazine that's coming out this month. And as she was talking, you know, several of us even in those rough times where we were those words for the year, what is our word of the year going to be for this year, you know, and you know, depending on which group of friends I was with, there were some that were all about, I chose this word and then there are some that were like God gave me this word well for. For me, I was really going okay, what is the theme for this year going to be? I really want to call word the sheer like tenacity or you know, flex or you know something about how strong and powerful I am and all that stuff. Yeah, I got the word discipline that year. Who likes the word discipline? Come on, right. But you know what it was in that year of building that discipline that led to putting things into place for where we are today. One of the other things that came about was I was truthful and honest on social media that day, said, I asked for word like tenacity and I got the word discipline. And a friend of mine said, Well, I never saw you as someone who needed to be reminded that you are tenacious. See, I was asking for something already had so wouldn't have to do the work to be disciplined out, right? What does all this have to do with having a comeback? Well, a few years ago when my friends start going through her, her challenges, you know, she was a CEO, I think it was the CEO, CEO, CFO, she was a C level executive with a trucking firm, right, her dad ran a trucking firm when she was growing up. And she was running this trucking firm. And she handled all the finances, she handled all the management of the trackers, the equipment that was going in and out and they hauled freight to and from the oil fields. So, there was a it was a pretty big deal and large volumes of money flowing in and out. And she made over six figures a year, she had a husband that worked out in the oil fields, and he was a welder. So, he made a pretty good amount of money as well, that had a nice piece of property, over 10 acres. With a house and a barn that had an apartment that she could lease out to people or let people stay in if they needed to. I mean, it was just a good place for them to be, and she has a story. And boy is her story a good one, right. And so, as she has her story, and she's walking out her story, she feels called to serve as the leader of a pregnancy Crisis Center. But let me just tell you, the pay for running a trucking company may be over six figures, the pay for running a crisis pregnancy center is not, like it is a third of the cost of what it costs what she gets paid for the other one, right, But that didn't matter to her. Because she knew in her heart of hearts, where she was being called to. She stepped out in faith. She put in her notice. She accepted the role as the leader of the CEO of this organization. And wow, let me just tell you, the turnaround she did with that organization in no time flat was amazing. I mean, the buy in from the community the things that they were able to do and continue to do. Excuse me, I had to get a drink there. She is just an amazing person. She also was feeling she is walking in her purpose. And about three to six months after she took over that role. Her husband decided to leave her safety net of income decided to shrivel up and go away. She was a little disheveled that she was making things go. She was still ever present in her girl's life, she was still learning the things she needed to learn, she was still stepping towards things she needs step towards, and she was still being faithful to who she was the circumstance of what her husband did, his choice of leaving her did not change who she was and who she was going to be. She didn't immediately quit working at the lower pay and go back to the other one. She trusted that she was where she was supposed to be, doing what she was supposed to be doing. My mentor and friend John Maxwell reminded me a few years ago, she was in the middle of this, that when we're in the thick of the thick of the nasty of what we call the gross parts of life is when we are prime for the making for a miracle to happen in our life and a big one at that, right? Because I mean, sometimes you can't go in a lower, Something's got to give for you to move up. I get tickled when I think of so many people that are striving and plucking away trying to make things happen. And I'll be quite honest with you, as I'm recording this today. I'm kind of in the middle of this myself. I'm got some amazing things that have been happening. But there's just this one part we're not quite broken through yet on. And I'm trying to decide is it time to shift directions? Or do I keep pressing forward? And I'm not sure what's on the other side of it. But have you ever seen the cartoon of the guy with the little pickaxe and he's in the little tunnel and he's chipping away, chipping away and chipping away. And he finally decides he's going to give up and walk away, and literally it shows just a few inches beyond where he stopped is a whole tunnel of diamonds. So how do you know when to stop scraping by to get where you're wanting to be? Well, it goes back to what are you purposed for? What is the call on your life. If the path you're on is what your purpose for and the call for your life and lines up with your mission, then you will absolutely keep moving forward. I remember story Shalee Johnson said a few years ago, she's read her book “Push”, and if you've not ever read her book, it's a great book. But she talks about; she was on the line her and her husband and kids and gone snow skiing and she really didn't like the snow ski clothes she could find she thought they could do better. And so, she was going to design this whole new line of ski gear, right. And so, as she started looking at it and thinking about going and doing the skier, she started looking at how much this time this was going to take out of her life, how much energy it was going to take out of her life, and how did it line up with the overall mission for her life. And when she realized that it really didn't jive with anything else in her life, she realized that even though she could do it, and she had the money and she had the resources, she could give the time to it and stuff like that. It really wasn't something moving her closer to her overall mission. So, I want to challenge you today, start writing down some words, what is the mission for you? My name is Angie Leigh Monroe, My mission is to empower and equip a global community of women change agents to make a positive impact on the world we live in. Period, boom. Everything I do has to be measured up against that, if I am doing things that is not empowering and equipping women, and it's not going to leave a positive impact. I don't do it. It's that simple. So, you position yourself to make this big comeback, by knowing where you're going and why you're doing it. Because you're going to measure everything else against that. I have walked through a lot of things with a lot of people and been through some rough things myself, as well as watching others go through their rough things. And one of the things I've learned, is comebacks are normally bigger and better than the original. So when I stepped off the stage in high school and stopped speaking and stopped doing what I was doing, it helped to know that eventually, one day, I would want to be back there even though I didn't know and believe a lot of the times that that was possible. But once I started writing, once I started putting things into action serving around people that were speakers working around the stage doing the things that I was doing that led up to it, it made perfect sense that when I sat down a few months ago, with a few key people that could help move me exponentially fast; forward faster and at a at a higher degree of thinking that I ever thought possible that we would be able to accomplish all the things we've accomplished in the last few months. I'm not negating all the work that happened before that, but the breakthrough happened in May. The breakthrough came when I was at the end of my rope. Remember that old sign poster from the 80s or 90s that had the cat with the hanging off of a piece of rope and it had a knot in it or whatever it said hang tight. You know, literally March, April, May of this year, I was just hanging tight, trying to figure out where we're going, what we're doing, what's this looks like. We didn't have the magazine back up and running. We didn't have the blogs back up and running. We didn't even have a podcast had been talked about for a year, but we didn't have the podcast, and we certainly didn't have a conference planned. And now we've got all of those things done. We have a learning center that we are launching later on this year. Live to the public in January, you only get access to it in October if you come to the conference. But in January, it'll go live to the public. And let me just tell you, all of that is because of the steps I put in place when I thought no one could see them. Let's see there were silent cries of my heart. There were things that I did, disciplining myself every day to write whether I ever thought it would be published or spoken or whatever. All of those little disciplines are leading to what you're seeing today. So, you may be in a place that it may be a while before. You have that big splash moment. But let me just tell you something. There are a lot of movie stars out there that are seen as overnight wonders who were anything but their overnight wonders because all of a sudden, you're hearing about them all the time. But you know, Bradley Cooper was on Law and Order SVU several years before he ever won an Oscar. Before he ever played Chris Kyle, you've got so many people that played so many roles and so many commercials for years and years and years before they ever struck it big. The lead dad off of This Is Us. He tells you flat out I'm not an overnight success. I've been in the business for 20 years, I'm a 20-year success. You know, it's what are you doing today to poise yourself for a comeback. Some of you may just needing a breakthrough. You don't need to come back. You're needing a breakthrough. You've not even been there yet. You've just are hoping to get there one day. So, whatever it is for you, whether it's launching a business, starting a nonprofit, writing a book, whatever it is, you have that power within you to move yourself forward. Now I told you a little bit about my friend Connie and what we're talking about today. But Connie Wyatt Coleman is our EVERYDAY DIVA this week. She is a woman of many talents. powerful beyond measure. Like I said she's currently serves as the CEO of wise choices pregnancy Resource Center in Decatur, Texas, but let me tell you about my little girlfriend, Connie here. All right. Connie recently just got remarried. So, she is a woman who was adopted at birth. So, she has the pleasure of knowing our adoptive mom as well as her biological mom. She has walked through some of the biggest challenges of her life. Not always good ones, but not always bad ones either, and one of my favorite stories about her working at the trucking company was one of the guys came in one day and didn't have the truck parked just right, and apparently he didn't know Connie's background, right? So, she told him, you need to go straighten your truck up. He goes if you want it straight and you go and straighten it. So, she did. She got into that truck, pulling that trailer, drove it around, came back, parked it back, but put it nice and straight, and then the keys and said, and it better be parked like that every time. She wasn't showing off. She wasn't doing all that stuff. She was letting him know, something he didn't already know. Yeah, you may be able to test her but she's going to test you right back. She is a woman that she says she's a self-proclaimed type a control freak. I don't know that it's all self-proclaimed. But anyway, she is also a coffee addict. Yes, she's a coffee addict. She loves her coffee. And but those aren't the things that make her great. What makes her great is when her life was going down the railroad tracks and everything look like it was going nice and smooth in that mudslide hit. She never gave up hope. She never gave up faith, and she did not make any knee jerk reactions. She stayed steady the course, and she has come out smelling beautifully because of it, because so many people have watched her walk through that adversity and see that it can be done with grace, it can be done with dignity, and it can be done with excellence. So that is why she is our EVERYDAY DIVA today. And so, if you want to reach out to her, you can find her on our DIVAS Impact page, “DIVAS making an Impact” Facebook page. She is amazing. And she will be speaking at our conference in October so you'll get to meet her there. So, until next time, when we talk about bigger and more challenging things. This is Angie Leigh Monroe, your host of Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women and I look forward to seeing you then. Bye now.

Episode 13 Transcribed and Edited Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host; Angie Leigh Monroe and we are going to have a great show today. Not because it's going to be a great topic to talk about, but because the potential it can do for us if we just embrace this topic. So, before we get started, I just want to remind you that Warrior DIVAS is part of our DIVAS Impact organization and DIVAS Impact stands for Destined Inspired Victorious Accountable Sisters who are making an impact in the world we live in and you can find out more about us by going to DIVASImpact.com and when you go there, you can learn about our conference that's coming up in October, October 11 and 12th. You can learn about our magazine and how to subscribe to our magazine. You can submit articles for the magazine, you could submit blogs or read blogs on our website. And so much more is coming. So be sure to go to DIVASImpact.com and connect with us there. If you have any questions about the show today, if you have any input you want to give us, all of that goes through the DIVAS Impact website. So today, we're going to talk about unlocking some stuff. We're going to talk about stronghold, have you ever heard of a stronghold? A stronghold is something that holds you strong. I mean, it's very, very easy to dictate that the stronghold is more about what a prison is, something that holds you back from being able to do more, be more, see more, right? So, if you are in a locked up and held back, then you can't accomplish and do all that you're meant to do. Right? It's like, Okay, so my mom had shoulder surgery last month, her arm is in a sling. And when her arm is in the sling, she is limited on her movement her you she can do all she wants with this left hand, but there are some things that she needed both hands for that she can't do right now because that arm is locked down. For the time being, Yes, she can take it out of her sloft and do her exercises that she has to do to work out her arm, but she is still limited. So, strongholds are things that limit you. So, what we're going to talk about today is what my pastor friends and all that call the anatomy of a stronghold. Alright, so the anatomy of a stronghold has four components. It has the event. So, there may be an event that happened to you, maybe it happened to your parents, but you're still dealing with it. Maybe it was a trauma you experienced, maybe it was your parents’ divorce, maybe it was your divorce, maybe it was a sexual trauma, maybe it was the loss of a job, whatever it is, it's an event that happens in your life that kind of derails you for a little bit, right? And then what happens after that is after that event, we create a lie that we believe about that event. All right, so lots of times when I hear women come out of a divorce, they say that they are just unlovable. Well, that's a lie, because they have been loved. So therefore, they can be loved again, right? If they lose their job, they say, nobody wants them or their unemployable or something like that. Or if they've been sexually assaulted, it may be that they are just a trash receptacle. They feel like a trash receptacle; those are all things lies that people create about it. And you can either choose to believe the lie. And you may even inherit or embrace a lie that your parents believed before you, that's something that happens to and then sometimes you create other lies, and lies about others, because of the event. So, you see someone that acts in a certain way, and you automatically without knowing them without getting to know them, you automatically create a lie around them. And there's a reason you do this. And we'll talk about that here in a little bit. Or, and like we said, you believe there's nothing better for your life, because this is just the hand that you were dealt. I mean, does any of that resonate with some of you out there listening to today? Have you ever had something happened, and it just totally sent you into a mindset of, there's nothing better for me anymore? This is the best I will have ever had, the best I've ever been the rest of my life, I'm going to be less than I'm going to be subpar. I'm not going to be worth anything, I'm unlovable, I'm unemployable. Nobody wants me, nobody likes me. I mean, there's some of you out there that are big, strong, self - confident people. But you also still believe this, although you'd never let anybody else know, you believe this, but you never let anybody else know that you believe this about yourself. So, what we do when we hear, when we have those lies is we begin to build up defense mechanisms. Now, when my son was elementary age, we noticed he was having some problems reading, he kept telling me that the words were dancing on the screen, on the pages for him. And I sat in with the counselor, the Vice Principal, his teachers, the reading teacher, and all that stuff. And they had done all these tests on him by this time, he's in third grade. He's well into his learning how to read years. And he had built up some, some coping mechanisms, let's call them coping mechanisms to help him read, he still wasn't a strong reader, he still wasn't a good reader, he was still struggling, he was still below average on reading scores. But because he had built up those coping mechanisms, when he took the test, the standardization on the test showed that he was quote, unquote, borderline. Let me just tell you, nothing sets a mama bear off, like telling her that you can see there's a problem that their child may help but not being willing to help them. I slammed my hand right in the middle of that table. And I said, ladies, it's kind of like being pregnant. Either you are, or you aren't, this is a young man sitting in front of you begging for help. He needs help. And you're telling me because he's borderline, he probably won't qualify for it? Well, a lot of times, we come up with defense mechanisms, very similar to that, to where we can go in and out with people and act, quote unquote, somewhat normal. But when we get pushed, or we get challenges; challenged, our defenses come up. And it may come up in something that's more like passive aggressive or even passivity, you just avoid and go away from then turn into, you may be over analyzing the situation, and trying to bring reason to something that is just not reasonable. You may be what we call a BS or that's for blame shifting, you may be blame shifting. So instead of accepting blame that you need to do or you even accept blame, that should go somewhere else. See, you just thought it was all going to be about you right see it may be that you're accepting blame, that solely belongs on the person that caused trauma to you. Or you're not accepting blame for your part in what happened to you. I know this is going to strike a nerve with some of you that you may turn into a total control freak, because you didn't have control in that one part of your life. Now you tried to control every other part of your life and all the other people that are in your life. And what happens is that runs people off. My husband and I a few years ago had a conversation and you know, when a woman tells a man, we need to talk, the guy's eyes roll in the back of their head, and they're like, never has that term coming out of a woman's mouth ever ended well, right? Well, we had one of those talks, we started late at night and we rolled into about nine o'clock the next morning, it was just a good soul-searching gut-wrenching conversation. Even my husband will say today there was a lot more that came out of that conversation in our marriage, then in the previous 20 years of our marriage, combined. And you know, there's some things that happened to my husband's past and, and a lot of people have left him, a lot of people have taken care of themselves and just left him high and dry. And he has what I call, quote unquote, spiritual or psychological term would be abandonment syndrome. He has a fear of abandonment. All right. So, his reaction is he's going to walk away from you. He's going to cause something to cause the abandonment before you can abandon him. Right? So, he's always the one if something argument would happen, or a discussion would happen. He'd walk away first. Well, I've told you before in other podcasts, I'm a toe to toe fighter. So, I'll follow him, I don't care where he's walking through, I'll follow Him and we’ll continue it on, but he laid there on the bed that day. And even though I knew he had this fear of abandonment; it wasn't mine to call out and he laid there on the bed that day. He says, “I guess I just have a fear of abandonment”, and I'm going to tell you, I said, “well, nope ****, Sherlock. We all know that already. Let's reveal something new.” Right? Well, that's another thing. Another thing that we do whenever we get caught up in these strongholds, and we start to build our defense mechanisms is we start rejecting other people and pushing them away before they can ever have a chance to reject us. If you're if you can't stay constantly busy, because you don't want to address your own pain. And maybe you have anger issues, maybe you're self-medicating, maybe your attention seeking. Yeah. Now, another one is you may be fantasizing about what a life would be like if…now I'm going to tell on myself. When we were first married, my husband and I lived in a tiny little apartment, we had our daughter, I just had my son, and I didn't work. So, I would get up in the morning. And I do a couple of things with the kids. They get to play, and I pick up my book, and I love to read. And I would read Danielle Steele novels. I know this, I'm giving you some real insight. I don't read them anymore. But for a longest time, when I was growing up, I read the Little House on the Prairie series, I read the Nancy Drew series, I read Sweet Valley High. I read you name it, I read series of books. So, Danielle steele was the next one. My mom at the time had been into the Harlequin romance series. I couldn't get into that back and get into the Danielle Steele’s these seemed like real people to me. And I could literally pick up a book and read it from beginning to end in a day, if I just was left alone to do it, right? But I had to stop reading those books. Because what was happening is Mike and I were needing to build our marriage and build our relationship. And I kept comparing him to these heroes, these romantic interests in these books that were not real. It's called fiction people. And we get it wrapped in our brain that “Oh, they should treat us this way or we want them to treat them that way.” So, if you're addicted to shows like The Bachelor or, I know I'm calling some people out, Love Island or any of those stuff, and you're starting to go, “Well, I want my life to be like that.” First stop, stop fantasizing and get to work on working on the relationship you're currently in. So yeah, it was a rough go. I kind of went through withdrawals. When I put down the Danielle Steele books, I went to Half Price Books, I sold them all back to them, got them all out of my house. So, I would not do it again. I literally would be in the line when the new books would come out because I'd read them all. It was crazy. But the thing is, is when you build up these defense mechanisms you have, you cause a reaction. So what happens if you're a control freak, and you're trying to control people, people recognize you're a control freak, they may not tell you, you're a control freak, because you don't have time in your schedule to listen for them to tell you that you're a control freak, because you're too busy controlling them, right? Did y'all follow that? Yeah, it was a little, little crazy there. But if you're overanalyzing, you're too busy, trying and figure out what the problem is to listen to somebody talk to you about how to fix the problem. People will notice a chip on your shoulder, people will notice your attention seeking, they will notice your overmedicating they will notice all these things. But a lot of times people have also come to realize until you're ready to address it, it doesn't help for them to bring it up. So, all they try and do is treat the symptoms. A friend of mine who lives in the Dallas Fort Worth area, she is a CEO of a large company here and has won numerous awards for that; is a highly intelligent woman. And hopefully we'll have her on the show one day. But a couple of years ago, she asked her daughter, I believe she was in third grade. What is it that she thought would make mommy better? Because she was doing that 360 review of herself. She was doing a lot of what we all do. But it wasn't until her daughter turned to her and said, “I'd like my mommy not to drink so much.” See, it wasn't that the mom was a falling down drunk, all that stuff. She revealed later on that she did have some blackout moments. But she went home every night, she had a wine cellar, she went home every night she had wine. Every night, she'd have a bottle or two, or whatever of wine, while she was doing her work. It was just as common as picking up a bottle of water for her. But it had started to cause problems in her life, and there were some things she needed to address for herself. Not so much for her daughters, her daughters would get the overflow of the benefit of her doing the work on herself. It was right after that she went and got help. And she went and got sober, and her husband cleared out every bit of alcohol that was in the house for her, so she wouldn't be tempted. And she walked through this season, and she talks now about being clear and being able to see and what she was self-medicating during that time. But it wasn't until she allowed someone else to speak into her. See, back in the day, I used to tell everybody, with my arms outstretched, I'd say I'm an open book, you can ask me anything. But what I was really doing is I was making a defensive posture in my mind, where I had my hands up in a defensive mode going. You can, I'm an open book, you can ask me anything, but if you really knew me, you would have already known it. So, you shouldn't have to ask. I was deflecting, I was in denial. I was keeping myself from letting others in so that they couldn't reject me over thoughts, over actions, over things that I've done in my past. You might want to be the one that wants to fix everyone else. You might see problems in everyone around you. But here's the deal. If everyone around you has problems, you might be the only common denominator to that problem. And you might have to look at yourself. Question is, are you willing to look at yourself? Are you ready to look at yourself? People can see the destructive pattern, they can call it out, they can do all that stuff. But they can't go beyond surface level with you until you are ready to go beyond the surface yourself. Couple of years ago, I was in the citizens police academy and in my hometown, and the officer was talking about an Oodle loop. And I'd heard it before we had used that thing back in the military. Or maybe my dad had mentioned it, I'm not exactly sure where I'd heard it before. But it stands for observe, orient, decide and act. So just like the anatomy of a stronghold, and observe sometimes is an observance of something that happens that brings pain or trauma. Maybe you saw something, saw your dad beating your mom, maybe you were physically assaulted, whatever it is, you're observing what your observation of that event is. And then we orient, we develop information, we figure out if the information we want to develop around this event is factual or fiction, a lie. Then we decide what we need to do to ensure that bad thing never happens to us again, right? And we find our defensive mechanisms to self-preserve. And then our actions, our actions react and reflect all those lies, and decisions we've already previously made. Now, one of the things that they taught us in the police academy, is they use the oodle loop to train people, like when there's an active shooter, right? So common sense would tell you we're sitting in a studio today, there's a door to my right, when the door opens up, literally I would be face to face, eye to eye, with whoever's coming through that door. Well, immediately, whoever's coming through that door is going to be looking straight ahead. They may turn and look around the door or to their left when they come through the door. But first thing they're going to focus on is what's right ahead of them. So, one of the things we have to do is to disrupt their oodle loop, because their mind is, they're coming through that door, and they're going for the first thing in front of them. What we do instead is we put people on either side of the door, so that when they come through that door, we're disrupting their thought process immediately. We're, we're shaking them up immediately. So, they're disoriented. All right, they don't have a chance to come in, and they may see somebody in front of them, they don't have a chance to do anything with it. Because the two people on either side of the door, disorient them, they don't have a time to get their orientation with the room straight. Right? So that's what we need to do with this anatomy of a stronghold. If you've had a trauma, if you're walking through a trauma now, if you have never gotten healed from a past trauma, well, no matter how big or how small it is, there's ways we can help you do that we can help you, disorient those lies that you are starting to believe about what happened to you, we can help you build in things that will help you see the truth, and the life and, and help you walk better, stronger, bolder into who you are created to be. It's what we're all about. We're going to be talking more about these strongholds in our DIVAS making an impact group. It's a private group on Facebook, that you can be a part of. If you're listening to this or watching this podcast, you can see the link to it in the comments below but we're going to be talking about unlocking yourself from some of these strongholds, we're going to start that conversation on September 1 and go ahead and jump in the group now because we're having a great conversation in there right now. I don't want to spoil it for you. But we're having a great conversation in there right now for you and get to know what we're about. Get to know what we're talking about. Let us help you walk through some of those things. There's times that we do teachings during the week. And then there's times that we have a question and answer time where you can get on and you can ask questions, and we can walk through things. And of course, you can always schedule time to get on a call with us one on one as well. But these are the ways when we say we want to have real talk with real women, we want to get to the root cause that's causing a lot of these things that are holding you back. And we can't do that until you're ready to do that. So please, please, please go to DIVASImpact.com You can learn more about the group there, or you can learn more about the group in the comments section of this podcast below. But talking about unlocking. I am so excited today to tell you about our EVERYDAY DIVA. Our EVERYDAY DIVA this week is Kerrie Ole. She is the founder of unlocked ministries. And I love her ministry name because it was while I was standing in her kitchen a few years ago that she unlocked some things for me. I had been doing some things with her. I helped her with the conference which again, the help she gave me was far more than anything I did at the conference. I had helped her beyond the conference, helping her put some things together, organizing, getting social media together, all of that stuff. But again, every time I sat with this woman, I was just filled with so much yummy, ooey, gooey goodness, that I couldn't help but be changed, right. So, after we had a morning meeting, she turned to me and said something that really just astounded me. I've been doing a lot of things for a while for people that they would say without saying it, they would say with their actions, their words, their deeds, what can you do for me? It was never that way with Kerrie. It was always, “How can I help you”, if you're helping me, I want to be able to help you too. And so, I love that about her. But she and I had a great way of laughing and joking and she is hilarious. So, if you ever want to read any of her books, let me just tell you, her books are amazing. I recommend her book “REAL” for sure. And then hurt she has another book called “Revealed”, as well. Oh, my goodness, they are good. But anyway, standing there kitchen, we're laughing and we're joking. And she makes the comment just in the middle of us laughing and joking. She goes, “uh, why aren't you doing this for yourself?” Yeah, well, if I was completely honest with her, I would tell her that I was running away from myself at that time, I really didn't feel the value in myself, I felt about my value, adding value to others, by him feeling my value in what I had to offer on a broad spectrum like she was offering it. And it was just a dropped bomb right there. And it's because she is a woman that helps other women unlock their future that she is today's EVERYDAY DIVA, and if you want to learn more about her, you can go to Kerrieoles.com. And I'm going to spell that because it's not a normal spelling. That's kerrieoles.com if you go through her website, you can learn about her movement called the unlocked ministry. You can learn about her being a conference speaker, you there's a few videos on our website that you can see her more hilarious side of things and just go on to her social media. So, you can see that on her website too, and just tell her how much we appreciate her, not just me. We appreciate her for all that she has unlocked for all of us that are listening today. So, I want to thank you again for tuning in. This is Angie Leigh Monroe, your host of Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. And until next time. I will see you soon. Bye bye

Angie: Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe reminding you each and every day to be a DIVA and make an impact. For those of you that are new to our show, DIVAS stands for women that are Destined, Inspired, Victorious, Accountable and building a Sisterhood, and make a positive impact in the world we live in. And we are so excited today because we are launching a new part of our podcast. We've been doing our podcast, little snippets, 30 minutes snippets with just me on doing teaching topics, and we have got our first guest in the studio today. But before I get started, I want to remind you, we have our DIVAS Impact magazine, we have the conference, it's on the back of the magazine, coming up soon. And you can find out all about that at DIVASImpact.com, but today I want to give you a little bit of introduction into Trasa Cobern. She is a local gal here in the Dallas Fort Worth area. But I've known about her, known of her, more through her husband than anything else over the last few years. met, I met her I think in 2011 2012, somewhere around there, when she was student teaching my son at the local high school, which I'm an alumni of bout to have our class reunion. And I started just being intrigued by her, the kids love her. That's one thing if somebody if kids love you, that's one thing. But the other part of it too is she's got such a passion for our troops. She's got a passion for our country, she's got a passion for her community. And when I talked to people on DIVAS, they often asked me about what can they get involved in? How can they make a difference? How can they make an impact? and I often tell them politics. Getting to know what's going on in your local community all the way up to the presidency and knowing how to have those conversations and so I've watched her, I don't just put anybody on the show. I don't just introduce people I know anybody to all of you watch her and see what she does. And so when she's not in school, she's been traveling quite a bit. And she's been doing some learning herself and educating herself, improving herself. She's run for city council. She's run for a couple of other positions as well. She serves on the committee here in the Tarrant County for politics. And so when we are talking today, if you're wanting to know how to get involved, this is the woman that can tell you about how to get involved. But my biggest reason for wanting her to go on is she has done everything with grace, she has done everything with talent, with dignity, and a smile on her face. So, this is all about to kick off in a big way. And I want you to welcome with me, Trasa Coburn, Trasa: Thank you, Angie, I am so honored and so touched by all of that, that was just really awesome. I'm gonna I'm gonna, like, take that clip of that podcast and like, you know, keep it on my own personal media so, I can have that if I'm having a bad day. So thank you so much. I am so pleased to be here. Your company, what you guys do with DIVAS impact is exactly what I think is wonderful. For women. I just I'm a huge I was just talking to my son yesterday about how I don't consider myself a feminist I would consider myself maybe a womanist that I think women are so important to our society. And what's good for society is good for women. And what's good for women is good for society. And so what you do is just fantastic. Angie: Thank you so much. Thank you, we tell people all the time, we steer away from the feminist word, because it's gotten such a negative impact. It's part of the reason why we steered towards divas impact is because when you think of a diva, you think of somebody that's, you know all about themselves and all of that. But we want to shift that paradigm, we want to do the same with the feminist movement, we want to help women embrace their femininity and realize how strong and powerful they are within their femininity and not have to be something that they're not. Trasa: Absolutely I was telling my husband, we were coming out of church yesterday, and there was a little girl who had on the little Bobby socks to have the lace trim. And I was telling my husband, I said, you know, when I was a kid, I used to, my mom used to put me in those, I was the firstborn child in the first granddaughter on both sides. And she used to put me in those socks, and I would cut the lace off the socks because I thought that it was so girly and I didn't want to be girly, I wanted to be strong, and I wanted to be you know, independent, and all of these things. And over time, I've learned that, you know, femininity is just another part of who I am. And it's just, you know, filtered into that strength and that, you know, independence. And so, you know, I love to wear dresses, and I love to be you know, girly now, whereas, you know, when I was six, five and six, I didn't like that image at all. So, you know, but we mature and we learn things about ourselves. And so that's I think that's just a wonderful thing to use that femininity and know that we can be strong and feminine. Both. Exactly. So you grew up, you grew up in a couple of different countries. you've traveled around, you've made your way to Texas, of course, you know, we're Texan. So, we love Texas. This is. Absolutely. So, tell us a little bit about things that may be from your youth that kind of you see now led you to where you are today. Oh gosh, I think faith is so important to me and God has led me along my life has prepared me in each step for the step that's coming up. And so sometimes you we don't always see that. And we don't always know where he's leading us. But you know, you'll get 10 years down the road, you're like, oh man, if I hadn't had that experience, like I wouldn't be prepared for this. And I, I was lucky enough to grow up with a dad who was in the military. My dad was a sergeant in the army and we were stationed overseas in Germany three different times. And I was actually born in Germany, spent early elementary there. And then the third time we were there was from the time I was in sixth grade until I graduated from high school and I graduated at a at an American High School overseas. And, and I tell my kids, I teach American history. And so, on the first day of school, I always do a little intro about me and I and I tell the kids I say you know, I'm super passionate about America, America is the best country on the earth. And I can say that with full confidence because I've been to so many other places. And you know, Germany is a wonderful place. I love to go visit there anytime I have the chance to it's a beautiful country. But I would never live in Germany, I would never choose to live there. And I had the choice. You know, when I was 18, I had dual citizenship. And so I had the choice. And I could have stayed and gone to college in Germany. But I came back to college in America and Texas, actually, you know, Texas A&M, took a risk on me and gave me a scholarship there. And that's how I ended up in this state that I'd never lived in before and didn't know anybody. And so took that leap of faith and said, okay, God, I trust you, you know, I'm going to go to this place. And I don't know how I'm gonna like it. And you know, wonderful, wonderful decision turned out great. A&M is a wonderful place and met my husband there. I fell in love with, I fell in love with Texas before I fell in love with my husband, like I was already determined, you know that I was going to stay here and then met my husband. And so that's how we ended up in the Dallas Fort Worth area. He's a Hurst boy. And so yeah, we ended up in Hurst and you know, I've planted my roots deep here. Angie: So, so whenever you left and came back to the state sudden came to Texas and all that stuff, do you feel that being in the military, as a military dependent, really kind of helped you be able to move in and not… Yes, it's scary. I'm not gonna say it's not scary, but gave you a little more freedom. Because sometimes we get a little too sheltered, Trasa: right. And I think it's human nature to like where we are to be comfortable in our little circles. But being a military brat has really just benefited me in so many ways. I used to be very introverted, I used to be very concerned about, you know, what people like me when, you know, how would I project myself, and being in the military, having that atmosphere where people were constantly moving in and out of my life, gave me much more freedom to understand that, you know, like, like, I'm going to be who I am. And then the people around me may shift, the environment may shift, but I'm who I am in me. And so absolutely, when I moved to Texas, you know, I was I was scared, I was a little worried. But I knew that God had me and that it was going to be a good situation. And that, if not, we would move to something else. Right. Angie: So. So I mentioned that you were a city council member for the city of Hurst. And you started, I don't know, when you started getting into politics? Trasa: Um, so I have four boys, and I have a degree in political science. That's what I majored in, in college. So, I've always been interested in politics and government and those things. But when we moved here, we had the boys and so I was Mom, you know, I was full time mom. And I didn't do a lot outside of the house, I did PTA and that kind of thing with their schools. But I was really focused on my son's, I started about 2013, I started being, you know, kind of looking a little bit outside, that's after I'd started teaching full time. And my kids at school challenged me one time and said, Well, what do you do other than vote? Like you talk about being involved in the political process? What do you do? You know, exactly, they have no filter, and they'll and they'll challenge you. And so, I was like, Oh, well, let me I need to be involved, I need to do more. And I really love where we live. And so, I had, and I strongly encourage everybody to do this, if you are interested in your local community, go down to City Hall, ask them if they have citizen boards and commissions, right, because most cities do. And so all you have to do is fill out a little application, it takes you maybe two, three minutes to fill out the application and turn it in, most of the cities have it online where you can just fill it out online, and you don't even have to go to City Hall. And so, but back in 2013, it was all you know, paper based. So, you know, filled it out, mailed it in, and then they called me for an interview, and I went down and interviewed for a board was appointed to a board called the neighborhood Community Advisory Committee. And it was a really great experience, just got to hear some inside stuff about Hurst got to know kind of what was happening. There was a city council member who was a liaison on our committee, so got to know her. And so that's how I got my first taste of, you know, what it meant to be really involved, right. And then I loved it. And then from there, I went to the library board, which is, you know, kind of a bigger board and more and more involved. And then the city council member who was on my first board actually came to me and said, I'm retiring, will you run for my spot? And so, it was the fact that I was already involved, that made that connection. And so it's all about, it's about who you know, but it's also about how you know them too. It's a it's majorly about showing up. So, if you're not in the system, then people don't know you. They're not aware of your strengths. They're not aware if you're capable. And there are lots of people who just show up and say, I'm going to run for city council, and they've never been involved in the city before. And the voters generally tend to not like those people, right? Because they're like you didn't do your homework, you know, you haven't been involved. You're your Johnny, come lately. Where have you been? Angie: I think I think we talked about that one time before is there's people that show up, even for the school boards, then they may be involved a little bit on their PTA level, they may be involved as a room mom or something like that. But they're not showing up to school board meetings. They're not showing up to these big things that are important. I heard somebody not too long ago, was standing in a board in a meeting room with the school superintendent, and went up and introduced herself to him like she didn't know who he was, but she was running for the school board. Yeah. And I'm like, wait a minute, you know, this, this is not something that's okay with most. Right, you know, we want to make sure that the board members, Yes, we want them to be able to not be Yes, men and women, but we want them to know what's going on and know how they would shift things in a positive direction before they ever get there. Trasa: Well, and we like people who I do anyway, I like people who've done their homework, who show me that they're willing to put the time in right to know the situation, know who the important people are, who the important issues, what the important issues are, so that they can actually have a grasp on it. Because if you just show up and say I want to run for city council, because I want to be a city council person, you know, like, Where's your investment there? Right? What are your issues? What are your problems? Why, why are you doing this? So? Yeah, I say, you know, show up? Absolutely. Angie: Well, we, my husband and I also own a plumbing company here in the state of Texas in this last legislative session in the state of Texas was a bit tumultuous for us. We went under a review, we had some challenges, there was a march on to the Texas steps. And I'm just going to tell you that it was an interesting experience. I've never done that before. I've never been a part of that before. But it was very interesting to be there, and kind of be part of the democratic process in a way. Yes, the governor had signed something, extending it two days before, but letting your collective voices be heard over something. So, I guess the other part is, is there's a lot that we did staying home with our kids during times where maybe we felt like some women out there today that our voice can't be heard our voice isn't this. But when we join our voices with other people, Trasa: Right. Angie: That how we make our big powerful state. Absolutely. Trasa: That's such a, I'm a huge proponent of the First Amendment and its freedom of speech and freedom to assemble is such an important thing. And you know, people think a lot about, you know, the big protests and the things, you know, the Women's March and the, you know, a million man march and those things, but those, those are just kind of the culmination of so much else that's happened for people to speak up and speak out. And I just think I was in Philadelphia this summer. And I saw a protest from a group that I don't agree with politically, right. But I took a picture of it and put it on my social media, I said, I don't agree with their message, but I will fight to the death for their right to stand here in front of Independence Hall and have their protest, because I think that that is one of the reasons that we are so free in this country is that you know, and I try to tell my kids at school, I'm like, you know, when they'll say, Well, you know, America is not that great. And I'll say, you really don't know, like there are other places in the world, even places that are democratic, you know, nominally democratic, that people don't have the right to get in a group. People don't have the right to send letters. People don't have the right to speak out. And you know, that is such a marvelous gift to us. And the First Amendment, you know, the, the Constitution just protects us so much, and the kids don't know it. But a lot of adults don't know it either. And that's a shame. Angie: Well, was Philadelphia, where you were learning about the Medal of Honor. Yes, yes. That was a great article that you wrote it on. Trasa: The Fox. Yeah, I actually had to I had one on the Dallas Morning News. And then I had one, right, Fox News right online. Angie: And so I thought that was great. And I'd love for you to share a little bit about your experience there. Trasa: Okay, so the Medal of Honor Grove is a place that is in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, and the group that maintains it is called the freedoms foundation. And it was basically created by President Eisenhower and a bunch of notables back in the 50s. to, you know, have a place where these men and women honored and so the grove is this marvelous, like three acre site, and it's just got trails, walking trails, and then every state has an obelisk that has the names of every one of their Medal of Honor recipients on the obelisk, like engraved, or else a plaque on it. And I was walking around the first morning, I got there. There are I we'd gotten there the night before. And so, the first morning, we didn't really have time built into the schedule for our class to go walk the grove. And so, I got up at six o'clock that morning and went and walked the grove. And it was such a powerful experience to me being the daughter of a serviceman and seeing these names of men and there's one woman who basically gave everything, you know? and some of them were awarded quite a few of them are awarded posthumously. So the majority of these people died doing what they got honored for. And so it's just marvelous. And then we have the chance to meet Jim McLennan who is one of the newest Medal of Honor recipients. He earned his medal of honor in Vietnam. He did not receive it until 2017. He was the first one, also honored by President Trump. And he in the interim, he was a teacher and a coach for 39 years. And so he was a marvelous person and marvelous representative to meet. And he talked about how, you know, talk about involvement, talked about, you know, loving your fellow man talked about being a teacher and a coach, and how, you know, that's equally as hard, as you know, as earning the Medal of Honor. Right. So really just a powerful experience. And so that's what I wrote about in those two articles. The first one is me walking the grove, and just talking about what that meant to me. And then the second one was talking about, you know, how I kind of expected to really meet superheroes when I went to this conference. And you think of Medal of Honor recipients as being people who've done this, you know, amazing, you know, save people's lives, and they've done things that are superhuman, and they are there, they're marvelous, and I'm not denigrating what they do at all. But what was so remarkable to me was the fact that they are ordinary people who do extraordinary things. And one of the Medal of Honor recipients actually has said, and I think it's, I think it's Patrick Baka actually said, “Every person has within them the capacity to do extraordinary things.” And I think that's so much more powerful than saying, these guys are superhuman, and I can't be like that, right? It's more powerful to say, guess what, I can do this too. You know? Angie: I think it's interesting, because a lot of the Medal of Honor people, they went through boot camp, they went through special training, they went through all these things. But they also brought the things from them that were ingrained from their families, from their livelihood, before all of that. And there's that part in the movie, the blind, The Blind Side, where he puts his arm up in front of the little boy, because he's got this innate ability to protect, right, he you know, and so many of our Medal of Honor people are, like many others, that are our police officers, our firefighters are our other first responders that they have that innate ability built into them. But there's a bunch of us out there that have never been any of that, right. And we have it as well, you know, call it the mama bear syndrome, whatever it is, but we will, we will fight to the death for what we stand for, and what we are our true to. And I get I get interested in looking at some of these Medal of Honor winners that go, I just showed up for my job that day, and instinct kicked in, they knew that they were willing to risk their life in that moment to save the 10 guys behind that right or the other guy beside them, or whatever it was, they made a split second decision, because of everything from birth till then that had been ingrained in them Trasa: Absolutely, that is so true. And I love that picture of just it being so selfless. It's just the ultimate selflessness to me. Yeah. And some of us, you know, are never going to be in that situation, I'm never going to be in a firefight where I have to save people's lives. It's just, you know, our chances are pretty good that I won't be right. But every day, we make choices in our lives that do protect other people in that help other people and you know, are kind to other people. And so other people make those exceptional choices to they may just not be in such a dramatic fashion. Angie: Exactly. So I was talking to somebody the other day, and they were talking ugly about somebody and and, you know, I used to be one of those the girls that could pile on with everybody else. And I've gotten to where I push back now, I'm like, Well, how do you know they weren't having a bad day today? How do you know in this one snapshot that you had with them that you just didn't miss set them up for being in a worse place than a better place about piling on them? And so those are those actionable moments that instincts, we can choose to be life givers instead of life suckers. Trasa: Yes. So true. It's a you know, and that's one of the things that the one of the reasons I teach is because the kids I teach, I choose to teach in a majority minority area, and, you know, could teach anywhere I wanted to, and I teach in this school and in this district, because that's where I want to teach. And one of the things I always keep in mind is, I don't know what happened to that kid from the time they left school yesterday, till this morning, but they're going to see a smile on my face, they're going to see that I care about them, because I don't know what battle they're fighting. And I don't want them to have anything added to it from me, like I want to take somebody that some of that pressure and some of that burden off of them. You know, if I can now they may be you know, perfectly fine and have a great day. But then you're not going to hurt anything by smiling at them and being nice to them. But you're going to make a difference to some of those kids who may not see another smile on another face, you know. And so that that is just it's I view teaching as a mission field. Angie: Exactly. Well, and you talked about the Medal of Honor winner that was a teacher and a coach for 30 years before he was given the Medal of Honor. He showed up to work every day. He was a he was there. He was present, he was doing every day stuff just like he did right before that magical moment in his life, no matter how that turned. He showed up every day he interacted with those kids every day. Now. Did he share anything about how things shifted for him once he got the Medal of Honor? Did people talk to him differently, treat them differently? Trasa: Um, I don't know that he really shared that he focused more on the fact that he felt that his impact as a teacher and a coach over those 39 years had been so much greater than that one moment in his life in Vietnam, the one day, you know, and he's still very close with his buddies from Vietnam. But he says, you know, he had 10,000 students go through his class, and he's like, you know, those 10,000 students, like I meant something to them and that's way more impactful than what I did for these, you know, eight guys. And so that was really just powerful. I thought, you know, that he had focused on that. And it was just interesting, because, you know, if he had gotten that Medal of Honor, back in 1969, you know, how would that have changed his life? Would that have made a difference in the way he approached people in the way he, you know, in the way he approached other people, or the way they approached him, would it have changed things this man, as opposed to him just live in his life, and then getting this, you know, great honor later on in life. And so that was neat. Angie: So, I want to I want to flip the script on you just a little bit. Okay. And you can say, with how deep you want to go in this conversation or not, but there were some people in your family that became quite well known. Trasa: Right? Angie: And did that have a positive or a negative or a little bit of both impact on on y'all? Trasa: Oh, wow. Um, it's had both it's definitely had both. It's overwhelmingly been positive. I mean, so my family my dad is, is Silas Robertson, and most of the world knows him. His uncle Si, Uncle Si. And, and I always have to explain that because like, my dad is Uncle sy. He's somebody else's uncle, but he's my dad. And so you know, and the funny thing is, I show my kids at school, I always tell them the first day who I am because my the first year that my dad and the family became famous, he came to visit my school. And I had him just visit with the faculty. I didn't think anything about the kids, you know, because I didn't think that they even know who he was. And they got mad at me later, they were like, how dare you not tell us who the you know who you are and who your family is? Like, why didn't you bring him to see us? And so, I always tell the kids now I'm always like, Okay, this is my family. And I just want you to know, and the kids always are so funny, you know, they'll come back the next day and go, I googled you and you're famous. Like, no, I'm not famous, but I do know some famous people. But it's been, it's been overwhelmingly positive. We've gotten to do some really cool things with them. We got to go on a cruise, we've never been on a cruise and they took the whole family on a duck dynasty cruise. And so that was cool. We've gotten to go, you know, to some fun things. We've been on the show, you know, we might my whole family, we were on a show for season five finale when Mia was about to have her surgery. And so, we've gotten to do some really cool things that a lot of people don't have the opportunity to do. It has been a little negative in some senses. Like, when I was running for city council, I approached a door, and I knocked on the door and the people came to the door. And when they saw who I was, they turned their back to me and closed the door. And I just thought and it was because and they said something about my family. And so I knew it was because of my family. And it was kind of after Phil had had his altercation with GQ. And there had been some negative press about our family. And so, and so yeah, so they didn't want to talk to me because my family was. So, we've had a couple of run ins like that. And there was the funniest one that I just still think it's hysterical is my husband was working the polls for me last year when I was running for tax assessor. And he struck up a conversation with a lady and she said, Well, I don't think that Miss Coburn can be very smart. And he said, Why do you think that? like this is a woman who's you know, had a full academic scholarship to college, she's smart. And and he said, she she looked at him and she said, Well, she's relative to that Duck Dynasty family. And they're all just rednecks. And I just don't think they're very smart. And he just laughed, he just said, he had to take a step back and go, you know, most of Trasa’s, cousins have master's degrees. Most of them are very well educated, just because they have long beards and long hair doesn't make them not smart. But this lady was just fully determined that my family was not very intelligent. And so, I just laugh about that. I just think it's really funny that you know, that even in the world we live in where we don't always jump to conclusions, there are still some conclusions that people jump to just on just based on appearance. Angie: Well, and I think that's one of the other things when we're talking about politics, people automatically jump to a conclusion because of something was presented on social media, or a commercial that came out or, you know, I think it was earlier this year, there was a commercial that came out and everybody was upset about it. Talking about men, and it was I can't even remember the commercial that was out. But I watched the commercial. I'm like, Well, I'm not offended by it. My husband, I'm like, are you offended by it? Because but everybody's making these commentaries and several of them were saying, I've haven't watched the commercial but and I'm like,… Trasa: That is a huge thing right now is social media is people you know, you put a you put a link to a story. And it has a headline, and the majority of the people who post on my social media Don't, don't read the story. They just read the headline, and they respond to the headline, it's like guys, come on, you gotta look a little deeper. Everything is not a sound bite. And that's what we're kind of in the soundbite world where everything has to be a little you know, 32nd sound bite, and you can't get the full story about someone in a 32nd sound bite? You can't Angie: You can't. What was it? I think it was 2013 when they had the march for life on the Texas steps. And I was on vacation at that time, up in Arkansas. I had my old blog up at the time. And I had written an article about the balance of life and death while I was on vacation. And I wrote it from a very personal sense. There are people out there that are going to be angry on both sides. I knew that when I wrote it. I also knew that the very first comment I got that was going to be a hate comment. I was gonna stand up and dance because I was stirring something. Right? Didn't matter if I was if they were completely wrong, completely, right, whatever. I was stirring something. But the very first comment I got back with somebody that's going well, if you were a female, you would know this. And you obviously you've never been raped and you know listed off these different things that were in the article about my sexual assault about being a female about, right, but they don't like it. They didn't read it. They just saw pro life and decided to attack. And it's the same thing for our pro life followers too. If you're hearing the pro choices out there Planned Parenthood's out there. You need to educate yourself apps you need to know what you're against my friend Connie is the CEO of life choices pregnancy crisis, Pregnancy Resources Center up in Decatur, she had an event this weekend, they had the rally for life event. And she's got a half a million dollar budget to battle against a county that has what a $31 million budget for Planned Parenthood. You. It's kind of David and Goliath on that. So, there are issues that you're going to take up and you're going to want to defend and you're going to want to do and you're going to be the David in it. It may be the plumbing bar, it may be prolife, it may be gun control, it may be whatever that is you may be on the positive side on one and on the negative side for another but, How do you find those places to find your voice and find ways to connect? I know you went to an event recently with I've been Facebook stalking her. He went recently to any event with a group of senators or Texas senators or something like that. What was it last week? Trasa: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I was at a republican Women's Club, the where a where a representative was speaking. Right. And yeah, so there were a lot of candidates and people who are, you know, currently in political jobs who want to keep their political jobs. So, they're running for next year, right, you know, years primary already. And you know, the thing is, I would strongly recommend that if you want to get involved, you know, at your city, I've already explained that. But if you want to get involved in the community, that's, you know, a little bit larger if you want to get involved in pro life issues, or if you want to get involved in something you're passionate about; first of all figure out what you're passionate about, figure out what your issue or issues are. Prolife is a huge one for me. I am I actually just attended an event yesterday that was at the courtroom where Roe v. Wade was decided in Dallas, right before it went to the Supreme Court, you know, it was decided, and they decided to overturn the law that banned abortion. And so, we had a prolife event in that courtroom, which was really just amazing. It was just really powerful to be in that place. And kind of be fighting about it, fighting against it, and kind of, you know, flipping the script on what had happened there. But so find out what your issue is. And then you know, you can if your issue aligns with a political party, then you can absolutely contact the party. So I'm involved here in Tarrant County with the Tarrant County GOP, the republican party in Tarrant County, and we have a website, it's you know, TarrantGOP.com And so you can go to it and or it might be.org. Now I have it bookmarked. So, I don't know exactly what it is. Isn't that terrible? That's what happens when we bookmark things, or we have our phones remembering everything for us or smarter than we are. So you can go to that it has a calendar of events. And so and I assume that the Democratic Party in Tarrant County would have a similar thing, I haven't looked at their at their website, but you can go to you can look at the different republican women's clubs, the different republican clubs that are for men and women both. And you can, you know, just go to one that's local to you and just see if you like it, you know, the people are usually really great. You know, you meet some people who are really interesting, in some ways, you know, but you but in any group that's passionate about what they do, you're going to have some people who are all the way across the spectrum. So, you're gonna have people who you jive with people who you don't necessarily would hang out with, you know, outside of this issue, but maybe you align with on this issue. And then some people who you just wouldn't you know, that your personality and their personality don't match. So, you know, you just have to find where you fit, both with the issue and with the people. And so I strongly advise people to be involved in politics, though, because it just does matter. Angie: Right. Trasa: What we do, what our choices are, at the political levels, whichever level who we send to make those decisions, right matters hugely. Angie: Well and I think, I think one of the important things you've shared today is, you were home, you were taking care of your boys, you were finding a new way, as they were growing up, you're finding a new way to get involved with school, your students challenged you, and you found ways to get involved, you didn't jump right in and go, I want to be the mayor, I want to be the governor of texas or I want to be the president of United States, you stepped in you just like you waited into the process. Trasa: Absolutely. And that's I think that's a safer way to do it as well, because the political landscape is so fraught with danger in so many ways, you know, that you don't necessarily know what the people you're talking with believe. And so it's better to go in kind of slow, in my opinion, instead of just jumping straight in and saying, Oh, well, I'm here and this is what I want, you know, you can do that. But then you just have to figure out because you can't make a difference by yourself, right? Like one person is not going to make a difference. But what it what makes a difference is when you find those people who align with you, and then you become a powerful group. And so, and you know, that's what you have to figure out is like, who are my allies, and who are the people who are opposed to us. And I don't use the word enemies, because I think there's too much of that in politics right now, where we like, demonize the other side. And so, I think that's one thing that we really need to pull back from, because I have some dear, dear friends who are very far left of me. But I love them with all my heart, and we can have conversations, and we can agree to disagree. But I would never say that they are evil for what they believe they strongly believe what they believe, because their life experiences have led them to that point. Exactly. You know, and so we can have conversations about it. And I can hope that you know, maybe I'll say something that will shift their perspective on something, and I'm sure that's probably what they think about me as well. But I can love somebody who is different for me politically. And so that's something that I'm seeing right now, that's very concerning is when people say, I don't have any friends who have different political beliefs than I have. I'm like, whoa, hold on a second. First of all, you're not very strong in your own beliefs, right? If you can't face somebody who believes differently than you, like, if you can't have a conversation with somebody who's different, then your beliefs aren't very strongly founded. You know, if I'm a Christian, and I can't have a conversation with an atheist, then I'm not very firmly founded in my faith, you know, and politics are the same way if I can't have a conversation with somebody across the aisle and seek where we do have consensus, you know, where we do agree, then you know, I don't I don't think I'm very firmly founded where I need to be you know, I need to back up and look at my beliefs if I can't talk about it with somebody else. Angie: And I think I think it's also important to know you don't have to get involved in dance with every fight you get involved invited to you know, we have a couple of friends I'm one of those also that has friends on all spectrums, independence, liberals, Republicans, you name it, Whig Party, whatever it is. The we want to be something we don't know what yet party, I have people from all spectrums on my Facebook pages and on my personal page, and they'll post something up there. And occasionally, I'll go in and debunk facts. I'll put facts in there. And depending on how they want to respond to those facts, will normally dictate how long I want to stay in the conversation, because they'll either turn it personal, which if they turn the conversation personal when we're talking about political or social issue, then I'm done because it there, they don't have an argument. They're just looking for something to strike. Trasa: It's ad hominem. Yeah, no. Angie: But if they don't want to see the facts, they want to keep throwing different things out there that are not factual. Again, I don't engage in the conversation. I tell them, let's share where we're getting our data from, and, and go from there. And there have been times that I've dug a little deeper on the other sites issue. And what I've found a lot of times is most of the people I'm arguing with, just want to be heard, Trasa: right? That is so true. It is just goes down to a people issue, we all want to be seen, we want to be heard, we want to be accepted. And if we can find a way to see, hear, and accept people on the on the basic level, we can open up minds and hearts to hear on a deeper level. Absolutely. I think social media is problematic in that sense, because people do just gut react to things and they don't always think it through I have a I have a 24 hour rule on my social media, like, you know, if I need to hide something, I'll hide it, and then I'll come back and respond to it. But I have a 24 hour rule that I'm not going to just post something right away when I see something that is maybe offensive, or that bothers me, you know, I'm not just going to go and type stuff and just, you know, hit send, because that just you're just inflaming. You know, it's just instigating things. And so my husband had the 24 hour rule when he was coaching, that's what he always told his parents, so I took that rule and internalize that. And so he always told parents, you know, he's like, if you have a problem with me, as a coach, take 24 hours, then call me and we'll meet somewhere and talk. And he's like, but we're not talking right after the game. We're not talking right after the practice, you know, wherever you were upset about, like, give yourself a little cooling off time. And like, we'll talk about it rationally as adults later. And that's how I feel about social media is that everybody just wants to, you know, they do want to be heard. And so, they just type real quick, and they hit send. And then later, you're like, Oh, I shouldn't have said that. I don't know. Or you go back and delete it. But people have already seen it, you know. And so, it's just so much better when people when you just take a step back, and I've learned sometimes, sometimes it's I'm a quick responder I liked when somebody emails me, I want to give them a response right away. But I've learned sometimes it's better to just let that email sit, or let that social media post sit. And then somebody will come back and say, you know, I'm sorry, I posted that, let me let me change that or whatever. Or they'll send you an email and say, guess what, I figured it out like, bro, you don't have to respond to it. It's not urgent, you know? So you kind of have to figure out priority wise, is something urgent that I need to respond to it? Or is it just that I have this impulse to respond to it right this second, you know, and so that's, that's, you know, kind of, I've tried to, I've learned over time and in politics that sometimes it's just better not to respond. Angie: Right. Well, in the I got tickled the other day, whenever I saw this bantering going back and forth, back and forth between a person, two people that I know. And it was about women's issues. Now, being in the military growing up as a military brat, there were women in the military, but they weren't as many as there are now. But part of the issue was they were discussing the whole world cup, soccer team and all that stuff. And, and I'm not even gonna step off into that, right, because I do have my opinions about it. But it's not necessarily the women's side opinion is not necessarily the men's side of opinion. It's a, we need to look at it differently than it's being looked at type thing. But I have a bunch of veteran followers as a vet myself, I have several female veterans who follow us and they're going to the VA’S today, and they're being called will win you're dependent card, right? Or they go, it happened to me, I was at the local VFW, Legion, something like that asking for an application for my son, because he's in the army. My husband's already a VFW member up at the Newell, West Virginia where he's from. And so I asked for an application for myself, because I've never been one, I figured I could start getting involved with veterans issues. Did they give you an auxiliary, they gave me an honorary three times? Oh, my goodness, what? Three times they kept giving me anything. So there are some things that as women, we are betting our heads up again. But it's how we handle betting our heads up against things, right, that can make a huge difference. So I just said, nevermind, I'll fill it out online, Trasa: right? Like all Angie: like most women, do. We just handle it ourselves. And the guy kept on what I don't see what the problem is. The problem is, is I served I've got a DD 214. I've got these different things. So how do how have you seen in your political experience? How to shift views, and mindsets in some of the most toughest areas that we have? So maybe you have somebody that has a perspective of how some, this is the way we've always done it? Right? How do you get them to shift that, oh, there's new technology, there's new things, there's all these ways, we don't have to do it that way anymore, we can do it. Trasa: I have a theory that the only thing that changes people's minds, is personal relationships, is the impact that somebody has on you. And the only you can't get online and change anybody's mind on Facebook or on Instagram or on Twitter, you know, you can post all you want on somebody else's page, and they are not going to change their mind, the only thing that's going to change their mind is when they have a personal experience with somebody that actually changes their mind. So, I always figure that it's best to be the person who could be the change. And to do that you have to have a relationship with those people. So, you can't just say, oh, you're an idiot, like I can't talk to you. And you know, unfortunately, you know, when we're dealing with, like the VFW and things, sometimes you're dealing with much older veterans, right, who lived in a time where women were not part of the service and women were not, you know, in their world view as veterans. And so, you know, they're still running into that, you know, they need to, they need to shift their impressions a little bit, what's going to change their mind is when they meet women, veterans, who are wonderful people, and who are strong and who are still feminine, and who are all the things that you know, we want our women veterans to be, that's going to change their impression when they have the time to actually meet those people, and they're not going to meet them, if you had stormed out and said, I'm never going to belong to this VFW, you know, then they're never going to meet you in that social atmosphere where they're like, Whoa, and Angie’s a woman veteran, Wow, she changed my total vision of what women veterans are, is changed, you know, and so I really feel that you've got to keep those avenues, those personal avenues open. Because otherwise, you just you just lose that opportunity. Right. And that's, you know, I see that as far back as a history teacher, you know, I see that with integration of schools, you know, because we were not going to everybody lived in their little bubbles, my kids, you know, I teach at the most diverse High School in Texas, right, it's been named by niche.com, several years running. And so, my kids teaching civil rights to this diverse group of kids, they don't get it, like, it's hard to explain a time when they couldn't be in class together, they don't understand the rationale. And so you kind of have to say, Well, you know, people weren't being necessarily ill intentioned, it's just, you know, I would have lived in a white bubble, you would have lived a little Hispanic bubble, you would live in a little African American bubble, and our bubbles wouldn't have connected. And so I wouldn't have known you, and know what a great person you are right? Without us, you know, forcing the issue. And then without having, you know, a made situation where suddenly black kids and white kids and Hispanic kids could go to school together. And now, I teach at this great High School, where it's so interesting, the kids don't see color, right? And it's fascinating. And you know, my son, my son, his first girlfriend was African American. And he didn't tell us about that. When we were going to meet her. He was telling us all about her. And he never once mentioned her skin color. And so when we met her, we were like, Oh, wow. And we're like, hey, how come you didn't mention that? He goes, Well, because that didn't really matter. Right? It was so awesome, that this generation has gotten so far past that, you know, whereas, you know, when we were growing up, and before, that was such a big issue, you know, and it's kind of how I grew up, because being in the military, it was so integrated. And like my high school was so multicolored, multicultural. And I had people who spoke Spanish as their first language, and French is their first language and, you know, just such a melting pot of people. So, I feel very comfortable with the school I teach at, and so it's marvelous. But that's what that's what changed. people's minds was not the forced Brown, the Board of Education, what changed people's minds was, I'm sitting next to a kid who looks different than me, and guess what, we're both interested in the same things. And we both like the same sports and hey, we're really good people. And I get that person. Angie: Well, I think it's interesting that we have, like you said, the high school is very culturally diverse A few years ago, I think it was 74 different languages spoken there. I don't remember if Trasa: I think it's 75. Now, but yeah, it's pretty close. Angie: It's amazing. But one of the things when I went in the military, we didn't have a well with the high school there. We didn't have as diverse a school at that time. But it was still very diverse. And I had friends of every socio economical group, every social group, Belden campus, every nonsocial group. And when I went in the military, I felt like I was well, well prepared. Absolutely. My son has said that to you know, he says, he feels he can talk to anybody about anything, because he has this this background from what he learned at school. What he also found was some of those other people. And I'm not saying whether it's a skin color, a faith or anything like that. Some of the other people look at him, and they see a straight white guy from Texas, and they can't get past it. Yeah, he's fine. But he they can't get past right. And they can't be friends with him. Because they see that and, and it kind of throws him for a loop. He's like, wait a minute, you know, my mom's had a, like six different countries represented around our dinner table at one night in you can't accept me. Right? Right. So, it's a little bit of a different feel when it comes to that, but I encourage him to embrace those moments, because it tells a little bit more about what some of the things that happened back in the day. And by embracing those moments, he could prevent them from happening in the future, Trasa: and he can be a representative to that person, right? And teach them hey, we can be friends, regardless of that, you know, and, and your judgment might not be correct for, you know, and that's what people, that's what the personal interaction does is it helps people see past that first impression that you Oh, my gosh, you know, like, people look at me, and they just go, Oh, you know, she's like her family. And so some people are, you know, are afraid to, you know, to have a connection with me, because they're, they're afraid that my opinions are the same, or, you know, or not, you know, and so it's really interesting to have that, you know, you have to be an ambassador almost, you know, for you for yourself and just say, you know, look, I'm not I'm not like that it's not what you're imagining, right, that my experience has been, is not true. You know, people always think it's really funny. People always think that, like, I grew up very wealthy, because of my family being so successful now, and we actually had a lady come from WFAA to interview me a couple of years ago. And they drove up to my house and they came in and they go, we thought we were in the wrong neighborhood. And I said, Oh, you did. And she was like, we thought that this is a really like middle class neighborhood. And you would live in like a really fancy house. And you know, your house is lovely, but it's not like it's just on a regular block. And it's just, you know, it's a 2000 square foot house. Angie: Right, you’re approachable Trasa: Yeah, and so she was so but it was so funny, you know, that she thought I was going to live in a mansion, right? Because of who my family was. And I was like, oh, man, you know, it's not who I am, like, you know, even if we had all that money in the bank, which we don't, but I wouldn't live, you know, are in other places. I like where I live, right? Angie: So we're coming to the close to the end of the show. So what are some other things that you would like to share with the audience today about who you are, what you're passionate about, what you would like to challenge the audience to do, any of that stuff? Trasa: Gosh, um so we’ve talked so much, mean, I feel like I've talked a lot about those things. But I am passionate about kids. That is, you know, probably the number one thing I never thought that I would be family oriented. I always thought I'd be a career woman. And family was a far distant second. And God had a total different plan. For me, I was married by the time I was 21. And then had a child by 22. And you know, have four boys and stayed home for 12 years, which was not on my plan whatsoever. So I'm passionate about kids, but I also am passionate about God. He has done marvelous things for me, and I have a great life and a great balance right now. And so, I just I, you know, there were periods in my life where I wrestled with God. And I disagreed. And I thought I had a better plan than he did. And I and it never worked out. And so, he was always right. I mean, teachings, one of those things, I never wanted to be a teacher. And I fought it, and then ended up saying, fine, God, I'm going to do it, but it's going to not work out. And then of course, I love it and I love the kids, and I love what I do. So, I would say, Well, number one, follow what God's plan is for your life. You know, even if you wrestle with a little bit, that's okay. Jacob wrestled with God. And he was still, you know, one of God's favorite people. So you know, God doesn't do, he doesn't demand unquestioning obedience from us, he demands obedience, but you can question all you want along the way, you know, so you may not agree, but he's going to take you where you want to go and whether you know it or not, you know, and then I just, and I'm passionate about public policy, I just think, you know, what we do matters and what our decisions are at the public level matter to our lives. And so I would strongly just encourage people, a couple of things, one, if you're not involved with the educational community, in your area, you know, schools or public places, you can go observe a class, you can go get involved, we have a great program at our school called, called Trojan talk, where we have community mentors come in once a month, and spend time with the same group of kids over the year. And so, you know, we'd love to have people come and join us for that. So if you live in, you know, Hurst, Euless, Bedford, if you want to be part of the Trojan talk community, you know, come see me, email me, we are always looking for people who want to be involved with kids, and you know, and they need good mentors, they need people from outside the school, they look at me, and they say, Oh, she cares about us, but she's a teacher, she has to care about us, you know, they don't realize that I choose to care about them. Yeah, I choose to be a teacher, because I do care about them. But they need outside people for that. The second thing is get involved in your community in some way. You know, it doesn't have to be politics, even. It can be volunteering. I'm a huge advocate for volunteering, there's an organization called six stones in Bedford that I'm on the board of and we haven't we have an actual a back to school event coming up on August 10 that you can volunteer for if you look at six stones.org. And so you know, volunteer, get involved, do something that's outside your little bubble of your house, because you know, and if you're in a position where like, you've got four kids, and they're small, don't feel bad, that you're still in your house in your little bubble, because that's God's plan for you right now I have I have a dear friend who she's always saying, Oh, I wish I could travel like you, I wish I could do the things you're doing. And she's got two little boys who are six and four, and a husband who's National Guard. So, he's gone every other weekend. And I said, Honey, your time will come, now God has you in this place for a reason, you know, you'll have this time to travel and do other things a little bit later. So just kind of be aware of you know where your spot is, and where God's calling you to be. And then get involved as much as you can. Angie: I like that verse from Micah 7:7 that says, I'll wait and hope for my Lord, because I know he sees me. And so in those moments, you know, like your friend right there, and several other women I've been talking to lately is, you may be in that waiting season, and for what you're really hoping to do. But there are so many things that you can do and touch where you're at right now, shaping the young lives of our future generations is one of them. And so, in honor of having you here today and honor of you being a teacher getting ready to go back to school, and all of that stuff, I think you touched on it earlier about being present and being involved. We do a little segment at the end called EVERYDAY DIVAS and, and this week, I'm going to put out Julie Cole as our EVERYDAY DIVA for the week. And the reason I'm doing that is because Julie Cole was some I met when our kids were in high school and she was everywhere. I mean, woman is everywhere. She now serves on the school board for our district. And she just started out being a mom, just serving where there was a need in the school where her kids went to school and being present. And being able to say, Yes, I can do that or She even said no, a lot. But not as often as she said yes, I think I mean, she said no a lot to a lot of great things. Because she knew she was set up for even more things than what she was stepping towards, works a full time job has her kids has her husband, all of that stuff. But she is one of those people that is going to live all along living life day to day every day, not looking for any shout outs, not looking for any praise. But we want to just honor that she not only stepped forward and just saw a need and met it. But she kept moving forward, and she leads our school board very well, and is another mate a great community builder. So today, DIVAS, if you're out there, I want to challenge you to be a community builder, whether it's your community in your home, or it's your community, in your church, your school, whatever that is, we want you to be a community builder. But every day, just remember to make an impact, whether it's big, whether it's small, a positive impact on those that you do, you have a choice as to what battles you engage in. And we're going to keep moving forward. So, thank you so much. Trasa Robertson Coburn, I didn't want to throw that out at the beginning, because I wanted to build up to that. And I wanted people to get to know you for who you are for all of that. Because we shared some amazing things today that really just helped me a lot. I know a friend of mine, this weekend shared something about all the voters in you know, we all vote for the big elections. But we don't always show up for the midterms or the the community elections. And those are where we can really start shifting the paradigm. And eventually, those are the people who got beat up the chain to the big elections. So, I really appreciate your time today. And I look forward to visiting with you. And we're going to have her social media and website and all of that in the comments of the podcast. So be sure to go and like, follow her. Send her comments, tell her how she inspired you today. And I just thank you so much for being here today. Trasa: Thank you so much for having me. Angie: All right.

Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I am excited to be sharing the airwaves with you today. So, thank you for tuning in and as always, as we talked throughout the show will drop some things in the description and in the comments on the different platforms about the things that we've talked, about the websites, but the main website you can go to is DIVASImpact.com. That's our website that you can learn about our magazine, you can learn about our Facebook groups, you can find out more about coming to our conference on October 11 and 12th of this year in Grapevine, Texas. It's going to be a great time of really embracing what our identity is and who we are called to be and what dynamic women we are surrounded by. So, I'm super stoked for that. But before we get started, I just want to thank you. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for subscribing, thank you for commenting and sending us messages. It means the world to us. And I cannot express to you in words, how much I appreciate it. So again, thank you so much and I look forward to doing this for a long, long time with each of you out there. So, this week, we're going to talk about a pure heart, what is a pure heart? Have you ever looked at your Facebook status and the prompt and it says, What's on your mind? You know, I did this the other day and I put up you know what's on your mind and I got tickled because I put up, you know, a whole bunch of things that were just randomly popping into my head while I was looking at Facebook at that moment, you know, and somebody else just started laughing. They're like, yeah, we had some of these same things pop into our head to you know? That's a loaded question. Whenever you ask somebody, what's on your mind, you know, and for me, it just, it got me thinking, all right, a lot of the things I'm thinking of are very superficial. They are not something that are empowering to other people. They're not something that's even really empowering to me. So, like when that face when I saw that post the other day. I said I don't think anyone really wants to know the answer. So, here's just a rapid fire several things that went across my mind in the last few minutes. How old is Stephen Ty? Ty? Does he still do drugs? Is there a Smith still putting on concert? How old is too old to be doing rock concerts? Why did Mike change the channel? Why are we watching Chernobyl the music just makes me want to go to sleep? Is it too early to go to bed? Why did that guy in the plumbing group get underneath my skin? What time did I set the nest to start dropping the temperature? I'm hot. Why am I having a hot flash? Why is my phone buzzing without? Look updates? What time does john wick three show tomorrow? Seriously, why am I so hot right now? Why am I irritated by seeing a certain person's profile pop up after hiding it for months from everyone? I am totally lost watching Chernobyl and Mike isn't even watching it and we were both ignoring the TV. I wish I wasn't. I was watching madam secretary instead. What time is it now? Is it time to go to bed yet? I wonder if Steven Tyler has extra teeth like Freddie Mercury. Holy Heck, it's hot in here. AC is working. But my body thermostat is not. It must be time for my pellet. I may have just gone to bed before I say or do something stupid and mean. Anybody else have a rapid fire like that anytime recently, or am I just the only crazy one? I know I'm not the only crazy one because I actually had people responding going, yes, this is me. This is me. This is me. Right? But you know, there was not one thought in them about prayer about living a good life. It was all just random, daily crap, it wasn't about loving my family. It wasn't about loving myself, it wasn't about bettering myself, Well, maybe getting the pellet so that I wouldn't kill or lash out at anybody in my family was part of the healthy part, but there was not really anything in there that was of any substantial value. So here recently, I've had a thought that's kind of been rolling through my head and I've been writing about it journaling about it and reading about it and doing my quiet time around it and things like that and so many of you know, I grew up in church and I heard this, I heard the phrase “pure of heart” all the time as I was growing up. And I would get words of encouragement from people that would say, you know, you have a pure heart, you have a pure heart, or, you know, walk your life in a pure of heart. And the funny thing was when I got those words, as normally at my life, a time in my life that I just didn't feel very pure at heart. I mean, really, I just felt like I was Jackie, there was some bad stuff going on in my life. Maybe because it was happening to me, or maybe because I brought it on myself because of my own choices. But there's just some, some yuck that was going on and even more confusing was that I didn't know how to decipher them. I didn't know what a pure heart meant. So, I want to talk a little bit about gold, because we're talking about our divas, our divas are the most precious things out there. They are women of destiny, and purpose, they are women that are inspiring and influencing others, they are women who have been through the suck of life and walked out victorious, they are helping each other stay accountable, and they are building this sisterhood and they are pure treasure. And just like gold is a pure treasure. One of the things that I started realizing when I started looking at pure of heart is what is a purification process for things and the gold one, of course stuck. Because who doesn't like gold? I mean, come on, it holds diamonds quite nicely, right? So, as I started looking at the gold, I've realized that gold and silver are normally extracted from the same or so there has to be not only an extraction of the gold and the silver, there has to be a parting of the two. Have you ever been in a relationship? That is, I think what the word I'm looking for is a meshed, there's so much of you in them and so much of them and you but the relationship itself is toxic. And you know, it needs to separate whether it's a work relationship, a personal relationship, a church relationship, you know, things have to change, and they have to be pulled apart. But the messiness of pulling those apart, is going to be rough, right. So that's kind of what happens with golden silver whenever they pull the two apart. And the separating is the hardest part. It is not the hardest part, sorry, the separating is not even the hardest part, the purifying words, it's now there's a couple of different methods that they use for purifying gold, but the most effective one is called the Wohlwill process W.O.H.L.W.I.L.L. process and this process brings them it brings the goal to a 99.9999% purity rate. But it's an electro chemical process. And this electro chemical process just doesn't sound pleasant to begin with in the first place. Now some of us women that go and get the chemical pills and do all that stuff. You're like, Oh, that's nothing right? Well, this is using a nasty caloric acid. That's, I mean, eat through stuff, right. And they take the anode, and they put it into the chemical and once they put that in the chemical, they put an electric rod into the chemical, which sends an electric current through that chemical. And it pulls all the metals that aren't gold away and dissolves them. Everything that is not gold dissolves. Now I want to talk to you for just a second. About what is it in your life that needs to be pulled away and dissolved? For me, probably TV, I'll admit that I have it running constantly, whether I'm watching it or not, I have it on just because I like the noise in the house. Fast food places, they need to dissolve from my site right now. They just do. It's not healthy for me, there too easily accessed. I love Coca Cola, but Coca Cola could dissolve, that would be great for me. But what happens in there is when that other metal dissolves, the gold attaches to this rod, and then this rod is pulled out. And it is then taken and melted, this cathode is then taken and melted and put into whatever shape form or whatever it's needed for use or sell and it's a great, great value. Now see what went into the acid and the electromagnet electro chemical process was a mixture of things and it wasn't a pure mixture of things is a mixture of outside influences is a mixture of nature and nurture in a bunch of things that have just come into its space, but then in that chemical process, all that was stripped away and left the gold to itself. So, let's do some comparisons here. The acid is for you to be real with yourself. Now, I'm not telling anybody to go out there and throw acid on themselves, please, this is one of those why they have signs on the hair dryers not to dry your hair while in the bathtub type moments, do not go out and get any of this acid and start putting yourself in an acid wash by any means. That's not what we're saying. What I'm saying is, the acid is the same process, the aesthetic process and gold purification is the same process that to walk through in life. You can be in the acid and nothing changes, you can say I need a change. So, I'm going to go on a diet, I need the change. So, I'm not going to watch TV, I need a change. So, I'm going to move from one city to another, I need a change, because I'm going to change from one job to another. But until the electro electric probe is attached to that, that acid, nothing changes with the gold. Because there's an activation at that point, it activates all the other metals to do something. So being in the asset is rough at times when you're having to move when you're having to break off relationships when you're having to do all this stuff, but if you're not fixing the things inside of you, which is what that electronic bar does, when it goes into the chemicals. If you're not asking for forgiveness of yourself, and of others, then you're not activating the other stuff to be released from who you're wanting to be. The dissolving part is where you find your victory. When you start realizing that you don't even crave cokes anymore, you don't crave sugars anymore, or you're not looking over the fence wondering if the grass is greener on the other side because your content where you're at, that you don't live in fear from that person that victimized you anymore, because you are now walking in victory. There's a lot that happens when that forgiveness begins, and I can hear some of you now, but they didn't ask for my forgiveness. And they're not sorry. We're not talking about them. We're talking about you. Remember, unforgiveness is like drinking the poison and thinking and hoping that the other person would die. It's not productive. We're talking about taking new through a process that you can then be purified. You are walking, not responsible for a weight that this other person has put on you will use my ex fiance who beat me and left me for dead right? When I carried that like a noose around my neck for many, many, many years. One day I decided to forgive him. It wasn't until I decided to forgive him that I could actually talk about what happened during that time frame. He's never asked me for forgiveness. He's always been evil and vile to me. There's no contact or anything with him now, but I didn't go out looking for him or seeking him and I hope to god he never finds me, but on the other part of it is I don't live in fear. If he does, because I've forgiven, and I've moved on. I'm not allowing him to control my thoughts, my actions and my deeds. Now the melting part is probably my favorite part. Because it's where you learn to build the trust process again. Yeah, when he beat me and left me for dead and stuff like that, that was hard. It was hard to forgive; it was even harder to forget. And quite honestly, I haven't forgotten, but I don't let it harm me anymore. I don't let it shift the way I do. I don't have to sit in a room constantly looking over my shoulder anymore. I have been freed from all of that through my walk of forgiveness, but the trust part, being able to trust another person with my heart again. Oh, that that's what that melting process is. Because there's an internal battle that goes on. You want to love and adore the person you're with next. You want to trust that your new boss has the best plans for you. You want to trust that you're doing the right thing for your health, but you haven't quite gotten to that place yet. Until you go through the melting process. Now I used to talk with my husband all the time, and you know, he had some serious trust issues rightfully so because of some of his upbringing and things like that. Things that have happened in his life. And he just didn't trust well, things that he saw, he was around. He just didn't trust well, and we talked about, he has a hard time trusting people. So, bringing people in to work with us and to do things. He'd much rather just do it himself, then bring anybody else in and workforce. But he has started to build up trust in others around him now. He trusts me. He trusts our daughter, he trusts our other admin, he trusts our other technician, he trusts other people to not let him down. Whether they make a mistake or not is not the problem. But they won't let him down because they've given their best effort. So, when I'm talking about pure of heart, I'm really asking, are you doing every step you need to do to set yourself free from the things that are holding you back? To walk in the boldness and the confidence of who you are. We talked about that a lot. Pure of heart means when you're standing around with a group of friends and somebody decides to start gossiping about the others, do you join in? Do you stay quiet? Or you tell them to stop, pure of heart tells them to stop? Are you someone who acts like a good person on the outside, but on the inside, you're doing very ugly things? Maybe you're embezzling? Maybe you're talking ugly about people? You're down putting yourself you know, we when we started DIVAS Impact. We talked about the kind of tongue in cheek just to get people's attention, we wanted to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others and we got a lot of applause for that. Some mixed from women a lot applause from men because they can see from the outside of how caddy we can be. They can see how detrimental we are to our own selves. You know, I remember when my daughters were in high school, you know, they'd like this boy, or they’d like that boy. And they'd be all about that boy, and they'd be watching that boy the whole time, but let that boy do one thing that was similar to their last boyfriend, boy, that boy was written off quicker than anything. And that was the case because they already recognize the pattern, and then tell you right now moms, if you got sons that play video games all day long, I'll say it, don't let them play video games. But it's the biggest turnoff for the girls that are going to date them in the years to come for them to be on video games all day long. Just going to tell you, help your sons be better for the women that were trying to raise up. Girls, if you're taking selfies all the time and there's nothing in your newsfeed, but pictures of you. Turn the camera around and start capturing other beauties that are around you as well. Start highlighting others, start highlighting the beauty that you see around you. These are the things that start to get us back to the pure of heart, because a lot of times when we're taking the selfies, we're looking for attention, because we're lacking attention in another area. Ouch. Did I just go there? Yep, yep. And I'm, I'm one of those that takes selfies too, I'm not saying all selfies are bad. But if you're an obsessive-compulsive selfie taker, you know who you are, and I want better for you. It's all about being pure of heart, finding a way to find the pure beauty in those that are around you. One of the people I'm going to talk about next is our next EVERYDAY DIVA. Her name is Tracy Mitchell, and when we launched DIVAS Impact in 2016. I was coordinating and emceeing her thrive women's conference, and it was a fabulous time, she allowed us full access to talk about David's highlight divas and we even launched our very first online magazine at her conference that weekend, and really just kind of catapulted DIVAS to where it is today. Super excited about that, but Tracy is a rock star. She is a speaker, she’s an author, she's the host of life from DFW, she owns a consulting group winning woman Consulting Group, and she is a fabulous preacher as well. Now she just launched her new book called Becoming Brave, and more than that, she's just a friend. She was a friend that was focused on being pure of heart herself so that she could help me be pure of heart as I lead our DIVAS Impact organization. She not only challenged me, she encouraged me, and she wanted me to be better and stronger and a better role model. Now you can't challenge somebody to be a better stronger role model and secretly be wishing that you had what they had or as soon as they get to a level with you that you are doing things well. Okay, so let's give you an example like this. Say, I have a friend that is offered a magazine spread in Vogue magazine. Another friend over here who has been mentoring, the person that just got the magazine spread is now jealous because this person in Vogue magazine spread, this person's never been invited to even talk to vote much less have a spread, right? Um, I'm not a vote person. So, but here's the deal. That's not what being a DIVA is about. A DIVA is about going “Hey, amazing. This is a fabulous way to go keep going.” Well, that's the type of person Tracy Mitchell is. She encourages, she inspires, she catapults you towards your purpose in your calling in your life and she does it just by bringing you into her presence. I'm not talking about eating the food crumbs. I'm talking about being brought into the presence so that you can absorb, see what she's doing, learn from her and encounter even more for yourself. What a perfect example of what we do with DIVAS Impact, because of that we were able to be at her 2017 conference and had an amazing time at that conference as well. And let me just tell you, I went in, I served her diligently and the next episode next conference. There was some Elevation for me, I didn't go in expecting the elevation I didn't go in demanding the elevation. But I was brought on as a speaker for the next conference, because she again was lifting me up not to where I was even with her but that I was stepping towards what my destiny and calling is, she wasn't trying to create another mini her. She was trying to propel us towards what we were purposed for. So, being pure of heart Can you be that sister that really helps another sister shine and be bright without being better? Can you help them be who they were called to be without holding them back, because you're not comfortable going there yet yourself? Yeah, I went there. See, we don't need people riding our coattails. We need people that are willing to run with us, and if you're willing to run with us, reach out to us. Join us at DIVASImpact.com, email us at blessed@DIVASImpact.com, find out ways to get involved. We've got the conference, we've got the magazine, we've got the blog, we've got the podcast. There are ways you can be a part of our podcast. There are ways you can be a sponsor to help us get the word out more. There are ways we can do advertorials for your books or your services that you do. There's so much that we can do to help promote you and that's what we're about, because our goal is to raise up more women pure of heart so that they can help other women grow and evolve and be all that they were called to be. So that's where we're going to leave it for this week. Once again, this is your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I look forward to talking to you next time. But until then, remember to be a DIVA and make an Impact.

Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host, Angie Leigh Monroe, and yes, I said real talk for women. Yes, because you too can be a professional podcaster if you mess up your opening act. So again, let's try that; this is Angie Leigh Monroe, your host of real talk for real women. All right, we're going to have a great show today, and we're going to jump in and just a few minutes. But before we begin, I want to remind you, if you go to our DIVASImpact.com site, you can find out more about our conference coming up October 11th and 12th in Grapevine, Texas, you can buy your tickets there, learn about the speakers there, all of that fun stuff on that page. You can also listen to our podcast, watch it on YouTube, you can read our magazine, all of that is online there. And there's also great ways to partner with us. We are always looking for ways to partner with our show with our organization, and promote you as well as on the way up because when one boat rises, we all rise with the shifting of the tides, right? So today, I'm going to talk about some stuff I don't like talking about. I'm going to be a little transparent with you. I'm going to be real raw with y'all; and don't you love my Texas accent that y'all part and raw has like four syllables in it. But this is where we're going to get to because I've got to have some truth to myself and have you ever been talking to somebody and as you're talking to them, they're going, I'm telling you this stuff because I need to hear it too. Because we both know it in our mind, but we haven't absorbed it with our heart yet. We haven't grabbed full throttle reign of what it is that's bothering us, what it is, that's giving us a hard time and this past weekend, I was at an event and I had an issue with something that had just happened. And I didn't even realize why I had the issue with what it just happened. It just started bothering me for some reason. I had my hand up most of the time through a session, asking waiting for my question to be asked, and everybody around me was getting picked. And they kept telling me they'd come back to me and they just never did and then the session ended. And I still didn't have my question answered. Normally that's just goes; water off a duck's back, doesn't bother me, doesn't split a hair with me. It's not a problem at all, but as I was raising a hand and not getting called, there was more and more frustration building. I was feeling overlooked. I was feeling unseen. I was feeling invisible, right? And there's a great book out by Nicole Johnson called The Invisible Woman. And if you've ever felt invisible in your life, I encourage you to go and read that book, and come back and comment and tell me what you think of it. It's a very short read, but it's a very powerful read. And so, as the session ended, I turned to my friend next to me. And I said, Well, maybe you can answer my question and she goes, sure, and she was very pleasant, very kind. As I started speaking, I got choked up, I was emotional, I had tears in my eyes; part of it was being mad, part of it was being frustrated and part of it, I just didn't understand what it was. And it all centered around being overlooked. How many of us have been overlooked? I have been overlooked a good part of my life, not necessarily because people intended to overlook me, but because I kept putting myself in situations to be overlooked. I would serve behind the scenes and I would want to be in the shadows serving instead of on the main stage. Even though in my heart of hearts, I wanted to be center stage and talking and sharing and empowering people like I am today. I was more comfortable in the shadows, because of some past rejection I'd had. Now I'm telling you this because the more I stuffed the desire to be in front of the stage down and the more I hid in the shadows, there's some other things that I'm starting to develop. I started losing my self-worth, I started losing the way I saw myself as someone that was worthy of the spotlight. I mean, when we see people standing in front of a camera and stuff like that we normally see, you know, fit fashion forward, stylish, you know, not necessarily skinny, but you know, a good toned body. Unless you're thinking Oprah. I mean, Oprah had her ups and downs, but, you know, here's where we're at, we just see more people like the Kelly ripples and the Ellen's and, and people like that that are in shape in front of the camera and not as I used to call myself the blob, right? Well, the blog came from not trusting and believing that I was worthy enough to be seen. So, I'm going to talk to you today, we're going to have a girlfriend talk. Remember, my name is Angie Leigh Monroe, and I'm your girlfriend. The girlfriend talk we're going to have today is about being fit beyond fitness. A lot of times when we're talking about getting fit and moving forward and things like that we're talking about the proper diet, the exercise, taking the right supplements, all of that stuff to get into shape, but before we can start doing that, we have to start looking on the inside. What helped us get to this situation in the first place. You know, I used to be one of those girls that could eat in the thing. I mean anything and still be underweight, totally underweight, I have been a size eight, I have been a size six, I have been all those sizes. I've been severely underweight not for lack of trying to gain weight. This matter of fact, when I joined the military, I had to put on seven pounds in a week to be able to go to boot camp, because I was underweight. But then life happened and while I dealt with some of the things, I did not deal with all of the things. And so, have you ever looked at an onion, and an onion has all these layers, and as you cut into the onion, you can see all the layers? But when life happens, think about it, that ending grows from that small little thing on the inside, and it keeps growing and adding layers as it grows, well, so does your discomfort with yourself. And you don't even know where that has come from until you're further down the road. So, a few years ago, I went and I set with a friend of mine and I said I need I need some help peeling back the layers of this onion, and we sat there and we dealt with a lot of things. And then I added counseling into that and, and we peel back many layers, but I never quite dealt with the layer of stuff that kind of made me as I call myself. FAT. I'm not saying that in the negative and derogatory term. I'm saying that in a realistic, if you look at the medical records and things like that, I am declared morbidly obese. All right. I'm working on it, it's coming off. But I am declared morbidly obese. It's a fact, it's not something to be proud of, but it is what it is. So, as we're dealing with this, as we start looking at it, I'm having to look at what caused me to eat my feelings, because I was craving something that I felt unattainable. What happens when we go on a diet, we go on a diet, and all of a sudden, the only thing we can think of is all the foods we can't have, right? So, you know, we were laughing around the house this weekend, because we were going places and doing things and we were narrow bikinis and my husband wanted to grab a barbecue sandwich and my daughter's like, nope, mom can't have anything from here, let's go somewhere else where she can have something to eat, but not realizing it, my daughter that we could brought him pizza twice and donuts once to the house, not as a bad thing. She was feeding the twins; she was doing her own thing. But those are the things that I could have gone all day long without having any of those things, she even ordered the pizzas I don't really care for. But I could have gone that whole time without wanting any of those things until I was on the diet and when I was on the diet, it was all I could think of. So, then there's a disgruntled this and there's a yuck and you start satisfying any way you possibly can. For me that was verging on TV that was just being left busy. That was finding a way to be busy with other people's things, instead of doing the things that I knew I diligently need to be doing for my own health and wellness and I just wasn't focused on myself. There's a lot on my plate. We talked about this all the time, so many women have a lot on their plate, your plate doesn't look like mine and mine doesn't look like the next person. But we all have things that we put on our plate every day but the thing that we forget to put on there a lot of the times is how to take care of ourselves. We've talked about it before, we'll talk about it again. But how can we look and see how to be a whole well-rounded woman, if we're not going to look at the rough parts of our life. I did a I started our Daily DIVAS Devotional here recently, and we are we just finished up the Beatitudes and the Beatitudes are found in the New Testament of the Bible called Matthew chapter five. And it's the sermon on the mount that Jesus is going and giving to the people. And as I read through the Beatitudes, there's different things they're talking about the poor in spirit, the people who mourn the people who are make those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, those that are merciful, pure of heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted because of righteousness, right? So, in talking about all of those things, he is saying those people will be blessed. Well, as I read this, I saw it more of a guideline on how to live your life. Nowhere in there Did it say; be resentful of the places that you've not been called to or be resentful to the places you don't have access to. Nowhere in there does it say if you get your way all the time, you are blessed. Nowhere in there. So, as I was writing out Beatitudes, the last few times, I started writing out beauty attitude. So being fit beyond fitness, for me is talking about living a life inside that exemplifies on the outside, seeing if I am kind, if I am compassionate, if I am open and engaging to people, if I stand strong in the face of adversity for the righteousness of people, and the righteousness of God, then the rest of it will fall into place. I'm living out the calling that's calling hold on my life. Now, is this going to make me a size 10 by the time this podcast is over? Absolutely not. But what it is going to do is it's going to shift my focus from all the things that I can't be to all the things that I can be. They do a lot of these things and a lot of workshops where they tell you to do your visualization, right. So, one of the things that I've heard people talk about doing this taking a picture of your skill, and it's super imposing the number of the way you want to be on to the scale, so you can reach that desired rate, right? And there's people in baseball, that especially pitchers, right before, they're going out to pitch the game there they're running through their pitches where they want them to land in the glove where they want them to cross the plate. And they are basically visualizing where they're wanting everything to go. Architects; He visualizes with a hand drawing before you ever put anything into CAD as to what he wants the outcome to look like. We all have ways that we want to that. So how do we structurally architect our life to be one, we are fit in all areas mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, because if you think your fitness as a physical is not tied to your mental or emotional state, you're sadly mistaken. You can't just go on a diet to fix the outside, if you're not going to do anything to fix the inside. See, there's a lot of things we have to give up. It's part of the process. We're going to talk about that in our next show, but in this one I want to focus on what is it that you have to gain? See, when I'm looking at being fit, yes, being skinny, being able to find clothes, I like to fit my body the way I like them. Being able to have energy, being able to do all those things. But the true why behind that is to be able to feel comfortable in my skin again, to be able to like myself on multiple levels, not just because of how I look, but because how I feel as a person inside and out. Because I don't know if you realize this, I know they say fat people are happy people. A lot of times we're miserable people we're just putting on the mask of being happy. There's pain that comes in the joints, that can be relieved by losing the weight, the inflammation that grows because you're feeding yourself toxic foods that goes away. When you start giving your body Whole Foods. There's Same thing with your spiritual life. If your deficit in that area, then you become more fluent of other things in your life. Like maybe your language is a little more foul, or maybe you're watching things you know, you shouldn't be watching. You know, I was talking with a friend a while back, and she was talking about watching this one show and I don't even remember the name of the show. But she was talking about watching this one show and she speaks on the road and she's a Christian woman and stuff like that. But her husband came in one night and asked her what felt she was watching. He was just appalled at what she was watching. And she explained it to me. She goes Oh, it's just all in good fun, he said. But if you are walking the walk, you should be walking you wouldn't see this as fun you would see this is tragic, because you're subjecting your mind your body and your spirit to something that you don't even agree with. And she took offense like we all do when somebody says something like that. At first, you know, she did her little and aim, aim, aim, aim, aim back at him for a little bit. But then she started thinking, when was the last time I was in my Bible. When was the last time I was feeding myself positive things? It's really easy to walk into a store and grab a coke out of the coolers right there by the register. Super easy, it's super hard to find a bottle of water. But it's really easy to find those cokes and those losses and monsters and Red Bulls. They're all right, they're readily available. It's like going into Buccee's the other day, you could go into bikinis, and the water is at one end. But in the middle, they had the fudge and the barbecue sandwiches and all that stuff. And I'm not saying all those things are bad things. But for a person who's trying to watch what they're doing, and be more observant at how they're doing it. It just wasn't a safe place to be. So being fit beyond fitness is about being mindful of where you're going, what you're engaging in, and how you're engaging in it. So, for me, one of my biggest challenges has been to stay away from fast food places. It's so convenient, right? You drive up to a box, you speak into it, you drive to a window and instant gratification, you've got food there well. The angels rejoice. And here in Texas, even though it's been sold to Chicago, we got Whataburger. So, you know who doesn't love a good Whataburger sandwich and some french fries and a large coke. I mean, come on, it's amazing. Then you've got all sorts of sandwich shops, you can drive through, you've got taco stands, you can drive through all these places for instant gratification. But don't you want more than instant gratification, because here's the thing, people that are giving given stuff instantly, don't really appreciate it as much as those that had to work for it. You know, I struggled from time to time about just wanting things handed to me. But I'm telling you in that struggle, I have also just desired the breakthrough. Not that we wouldn't have had a story to tell. But to have a breakthrough in a place where we could say, Wow, we did all these steps. And this happened. And there is a sense of accomplishment for doing it, right? 2016 - 2017 I lost 100 pounds; I did great. Lost 100 pounds. Unfortunately, I gained a large part of part of that back. Because I couldn’t follow that diet. Exactly what that diet did follow all the checkboxes, do all that stuff. But I didn't do the hard work. I didn't look internally at to what inside of me was mentally and emotionally deficit. See, when you go to the doctor, and they take your blood, and they tell you that you your deficit on these vitamins, and these hormones and all that stuff, they can give you the supplements, you need to get back into place to get your body back chemically balanced, right? Same thing goes with a diet. If you're looking at yourself, mentally and emotionally and getting fit. The diet is just the food portion of it, there's so much more, you have to take a look at and go. This is how I need to get fixed. I need to heal relationships, I need to stop stuffing and suppressing my emotions, I need to stop looking for food to occupy my board space. If I'm bored, go out for a walk, drink a bottle of water, do something that shifts where my focus is on the negative and shift it back to the positive. All these things are things that I am right now in the thick of learning. These are things that were instilled in me by my friend Wendy Pett. Now I'm going to tell you about Wendy pet here in a minute. But she is the one this past weekend that looked at me and said, I hear you, I see you and I feel what you're talking about. Because we've all had those moments where we felt overlooked, like the light that we wanted to be in was shining past us, not on us. It's not that we all want to be in the limelight, but there is something in our lives that we want to be excellent at. And for me, I loved my energetic life, the one that I used to go and play and do things with the kids and coach, cheerleading, and do things like that. I loved that. I want to get back to that girl. That girl that was laughing all the time and having all sorts of energy without pain. That's the type of girl I want to get to. But as we go through this, we're going to be dealing with some of the stuff that is just the yuck and, in the military, we say embrace the suck, to get to where you want to be. So, embrace the suck to get to the success. So that's what we're going to do today we're going to start embracing the suck. I've been on this journey again to losing weight, but not just losing weight, getting fit mind, body, soul and spirit for a little over a week now. And in that process, I can tell you the transformation is already huge. The weight is not even the biggest focus on this, just that opening experience of who I am, who I wanted to be, where I allowed myself to hide, and why I allowed myself to hide and not feel worthy in those moments has been eye opening. So I want to encourage us to have this dialogue over on our divas who make an impact group page and keep talking about what are the things that you need to see brought into the proper alignment brought into a fit lifestyle for you whether it's mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually fit, what is it that you need to get healthy in, because we're going to start talking about that. And as I told you, I had my friend Wendy Pett to thank for this. Wendy Pett is the CEO of get visibly fit, mind body, and soul. She has a visibly fit TV show that's on multiple channels, parables TV, uplift channel, and she helps promote health and fitness philosophies, and is a featured contributor for the diet.com magazine. She's also an author and an all-around genuine person. So that's a little short bio, of a woman that I cannot even describe how fabulous she is. She has a meal plan that she can take you on, but she doesn't just take you on the meal plan. She takes you on a change of life, a change of perspective, a change of mindset and as she does this, she helps to encourage and empower you to break through those self-limiting beliefs to break through some of those things that are holding you back. We are going to have her start writing for our magazine. She's going to be featured on our website and the upcoming month as well. So, stay tuned for more information from Wendy Pett. She is an EVERYDAY DIVA changing people's lives day in and day out. So again, I want to thank you for letting me be real with you this week and I hope that some of you out there felt connected to this message in a way that you'll be willing to reach out and connect with us. You can find us in our DIVAS Impact group; DIVAS who make an impact on Facebook or you can email us at blessed@DIVASImpact.com, but until next time. I want to remind you to always be a diva and make an impact and we'll see you next time. Bye now.

Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe, and we are going to have a great show today. So, buckle up and let's get ready, we may be talking about some bumpy things that you may not like, but we are going to have fun while doing it. I guarantee that. So, before we get started, I want to just remind you that we have our DIVAS Impact magazine out, we have our UnMasked Conference coming soon, you can find all the information at DIVASImpact.com, and the conference is October 11 and 12th in Grapevine, Texas. We're going to be talking about some things that women hide behind, and how to step out from behind the mask, so to speak, and really just empower and activate you and a bunch of different ways that we can and you're going to make great friends while you're there. So, come on out October 11 and 12th. Make plans now, early bird pricing is going to be going up soon to regular price soon. So be able to get your tickets now. And now on to the show. Now, I'm talking a little bit business stuff today because I had some women going you know, the inspiration is great, but I want some practical steps of how I can get from where I'm at to where I want to go. And I get it, I totally get it. And that's why I love this show. We want to focus on all sorts of things that apply to women, whether it's your faith, your fitness, your finance, and no I'm not the one to talk to you about your fitness stuff, we will bring people in to do that, but your finances again, not the person to talk to you about that, we will bring somebody in to talk about that. But all sorts of food and all sorts of other things that you want to talk about we’ll bring people in, we will have conversations, we will encourage, inspire, empower you in a lot of different areas. But one of the things that I am good talking about is, talking to you about how to set yourself up for success, right? There's a lot of friends out there that come up to me, they're like, you're just always so busy, and you're always doing so many amazing things. I just don't have the energy to do it. Well, I got news for you. I don't either. I am exhausted a lot of the times, but I have to book in my rest. I don't book my work around my rest; I booked my rest around my work. So, I get things done, because I know the timeframe in which I have to get them done. A lot of people right now we're like, well, you're always so busy. Well, yes, I am always busy. I had to align my life with the way things would flow for our family. So today we're going to talk about the three things that really can just get you set apart and help you launch, and it's align, activate, and calibrate. So, who are you aligned with? You know, so here's, here's the thing about alignment. Have you ever had your back out of alignment, and you just couldn't get comfortable, maybe it popped a rib out or, or something like that, and you were just hurting all the time? It's miserable, right? Well, the same thing goes if you have a bad working relationship, a bad family relationship, a bad friendship, a friendship going bad, any of that stuff. If something gets out of alignment, it causes a friction and it causes a pain and it causes you to actually walk your life differently, right? So, if your, if your alignment is off, that means one of your shoulders is up higher than the other, maybe your hip is up higher than the other and the way you walk is different. So that's why we're starting off with alignment and who are you aligned with? First thing you need to know is, what is it that your goals and your purpose for your life are? Because if you can identify that, then you can identify the right people for you to be aligned with in different areas of your life. So for business aspect, right, whenever I started launching DIVAS Impact years ago and started thinking about it, I aligned myself with some people that built their businesses online, because a big portion of what we were going to be doing was going to be online. So, I aligned myself with those people so that I could learn from them because they were going places and they had been places that I wanted to go. So, finding that right place and that way I didn't have to reinvent the wheel. Okay, maybe for some of you out there, that's me, you need to align more with me, let me coach you through some of these things. Maybe you need to look at your life and your life ebb & flow, not balance, but your work life, ebb & flow as to what that looks like, maybe you need my friend Misty, to help you with that, she's an excellent life coach for that. But all these things that we are looking at and doing, we need to really know who it is we are and who we are called to be first. So, aligning yourself with your core, it's going to be hard at times, because sometimes people aren't going to like what your core is about. When I start saying, I'm talking about women's empowerment, let me just tell you the eyes that roll. It's hilarious, especially from the men, until I remind them that they're married to a woman, maybe they're raising a daughter, they have a sister, they were born of a woman or met a woman, you know, so they start to realize, ‘Hey, I'm surrounded by a lot of women, you know, I may need to pay attention to some of this stuff.’ Who are you aligning yourself with? If you've got toxic people in your life, it's time to clean them out, do a cleanse, whether it's on Facebook, whether it's in real life, whatever it is, do a cleanse. I'm in the middle of doing a Facebook cleanse right now, I used to be all caught up in Oh, I need all the friends in the world and now I'm like, I could care less, as long as the friends in my world are impacting me positively. I don't want you on my friends list, you can be on my business page. Yep, I said it. Because that's my inner circle. That's the ones that are close to me and get to share life with me and if I don't know you personally, you're probably not going to make it on my, on my fan page, on my friends page, my friends list, whatever that's called on Fakebook, you know, the one I'm talking about? And you're definitely not going to make it on Snapchat, whatever that's called, or, you know, what is the instant Insta Look at me thing, the Instagram thing? Yeah, we've got that too. But I don't even have a personal page on Instagram, because there are too many creepo’s on Instagram. So, I chose to align myself in the areas for my business one way for my personal life a different way. Another thing is, is when I wanted to learn more of the Bible and stuff like that, I went to the specific teachers that were teaching about what I was wanting to learn and were well versed in it. My pastor at the church, he teaches a great teaching on living a blessed life and all that stuff, but I wanted to learn more about the Jewish customs and stuff. So I went to a different church that spoke and taught more specifically on that because he had some of the knowledge that I wanted to obtain to be able to understand the word at a deeper level, it's finding the right people to align with. Now, some of you out there going well, I don't have toxic people in my life. Well, you might want to look in the mirror and make sure that you're not the toxic person in other people's lives, and I'm sorry to have to say that but it needs to be said, I've had to look in the mirror and realize that I was the toxic person in people's life. Because I was not happy with myself or who I was dealing with or talking with, or I just didn't like myself period. So, I had to do some internal work on my own, but this alignment is so important because it's a key fundamental for you being able to grow. If you're aligned properly, like a say in the chiropractic thing, then your hips meet at the same place, then your feet are more grounded, you're less likely to tipple or topple over and fall and your balance is more in tune. Right? So, the alignment is important, because when you're wanting to launch; have you ever looked at a diving board and stood at the end of a diving board and dove using just your right foot as the main power or your left that is the main power, as opposed to using both your feet as the main power? It has a difference in how you come off the board, you're either going to go right if you're using your right leg and go left if you're using your left leg, but if you hit from both feet on the end of the board, and launch simultaneously with both feet, you're going to go straight down the center of that pole. It's all about how you're wanting to move forward. So, let's make sure you're aligned properly. A lot of times when people get mad in the news for making a horrific mistake, and you often wonder where that little bend was for them in their character, or their personality, or who their friends were that allowed them to make that bend. I've had to look back on my life at times and do some self-introspect to just figure out what that was. But what we really need to focus on is ourselves, not what everybody else is bringing, but who we are, what we were called to be, and what our moral compass is. So, the reason that's important for when you go to activate is you now know where you're going. You now have a vision and a plan. You've seen it before you know where you're wanting to go and you launch towards it like an outfielder and baseball player diving for that ball that hit to the center field, right? He takes that dive; he catches that ball and he's super excited because he's launched for it. He's left for it, right? Well, that's what activating does. Activating helps you. So, start to step towards those hoping for those dreams and the goals you have for yourself. Now, in 2009, when we started DIVAS Impact, I didn't really have the big vision of where we are today. I just had little pieces of I knew I wanted to impact women's lives for positive. That's all I knew. All I could do at that time was to step forward with small baby steps. It was kind of like a Texas Two Step, you know, you take two steps forward, and then there's a hitch two steps. And then there's a hitch two steps in there, there's a hitch as long as you're still taking two steps, doesn't matter how many hitches you take, you're still moving forward, it may be slow. And for a girl that likes to do the swing dancing and the jitter bugging and be slung all over the place. You know, it was it was a hard goal to just take two steps, hitch, two steps, hitch; seemed a little slow. Every once in a while, there'd be a twist or turn, you know known as a twirl in the two step, but I kept moving forward. Some of them that we did we put on a shelf kind of like I talked about in a podcast before about storing the way for another time, we just put them on a shelf. These are things we're hoping for, and we're dreaming for. We're not quite sure yet. We're not there yet, but we're going there. And then some of the things we started acting on. In 2016, we put out our first magazine, we had a great woman in place for that, but as we started putting the magazine out, there was some other things happening in her life. And she was a phenomenal woman. But she needed the time to step away to deal with some personal things that were going so amazingly well for her that she didn't need to be done distracted by the things for DIVAS Impact. So that was another hitch. it slowed us down, put us on pause, had us going okay, how do we sustain this long term because she was our person. You know, there's an old phrase I use a lot of times that says if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, who's going to pick up and carry on from where I'm at today. So, I am pretty methodical and just putting together lists so that if anybody comes in behind me, they can know where to go what to do and keep carrying on, but we hadn't gotten to that place yet with DIVAS Impact. We had just launched the magazine. We still had hopes and dreams, we were building up the website, we were doing so many amazing things. And this hitch just took a hitch there a little too long. But what that brought us to is because we had started, what we had moved towards, then we weren't throwing out the magazine, we're saying we're going to bring back the magazine. We don't know when, we don't know how but we're going to bring it back. But we're going to start dialing in some other things. We're going to work on the website. We're going to work on our social media, we're going to work on connecting with women, one on one. We want to do a podcast with a TV channel and do all these things. So how are we going to start that? Okay, now this is growing bigger than me. Now I need a team member to help me manage this because it's way overwhelming everything we've got going on. So, over this last year, we've added some team members, we've added Candyce, who is our coordinator for the DIVAS Impact team. We've added Kim Slater who is a marketing guru and helps us with the magazine. She's the creative arts director for the magazine. We've added Susie, who is our editor for our blog, and for our magazine and for anything else we put out because grammar is not my friend. But those three components right there have exponentially increased the volume of work that we've been able to put out to reach our women because one of the things I've realized, when I'm talking to women is there are some women that absolutely love listening to podcasts, then there's some that like watching YouTube videos, then there's some that like reading about it in magazines or on blogs, I had to find a way to reach all the women we wanted to reach by having different touch points for them. So, a lot of them just breeze through social media and go, Oh, that's good and they just keep going. Some of them come in, they like they comment, they go on the page, and they like one post and they end up liking 25 others all in one time. So, finding a way that we can touch and reach out and talk to the women has been key to where our growth is going. So back in May, we met up with Donnie Boivin and Paul Rogers with Nexm Creative and Donnie has a podcast he was doing with NEXM Creative. And just the ability to launch the podcast in 30 days and have it up and running has exponentially grown our reach right there. In that same time frame, we were finalizing our magazine, our first edition back of our magazine, our magazine is now out we've gone back to what I was doing in 2009 with the Daily DIVAS, we've gone back to doing a Daily DIVA Devotional, every morning. And those are things that are reaching out touching the lives of the women each and every day, but we had to dial those things in. They weren't things that just happened right away. They were things that we had to look at and go what's working? What's not? I'm going to give you those a little tip for those that like to use social media. If you're using social media to reach the audience, maybe you're a speaker, author, a writer, a business owner, whatever it is, you've put some social media posts up there and you've gotten some likes and some responses on a few posts and then you've got posts that have gone up and it was like crickets, nobody saw them, nobody reacted to them. Nobody commented on them. Stop putting those posts up the ones that got crickets, don't put any more posts up like that, go back and do more posts, like the ones that got the response, because that's what your audience is telling you. They want to see more of it. It's a simple thing. It's a I know some of y'all are going, ‘huh, that's so simple.’ It is. it's hugely simple. At the end of the month, go back and look at what you're doing, and see what worked and see what didn't work. Don't throw the whole thing out. Don't say social media is broken. You can't do anything with social media because it just doesn't work for you. It works for you, you just got to know how to talk to your audience. One of the things I didn't have written right away was my avatar for DIVAS Impact. Once I developed the avatar for DIVAS Impact and knew the type of woman I was talking to, you know, all of those things, we were able to communicate better, we were able to get more involvement and more interest with the women that we were connected with. So, what is it that you want to be that you want to do in life? Who are you aligning yourself with? Are you wanting to step out maybe be a better mom or help moms be better moms, maybe you want to start a baking business? Maybe you want to write that book? Who do you have in your life that's going to help you get from where you're at, to where you need to be because we all need somebody? Whether it's just somebody to go, where are you at on chapter two, when you're writing your book, have you bought the utensils you need to be able to bake that wedding cake that you've been commissioned for now. You know, there's all these things. My daughter this year, got a new cookbook for Christmas. And it's a baking cookbook, she loves to bake, doesn't like to cook so much, but she loves to bake and her goal this year is to make a cake out of that book each month. And so far, she's ahead of the game. She's made a different cake out of that book each month because she absolutely loves baking. So, what is it that you want to do? Set a goal, it doesn't have to be big, just activate it. Just start stepping towards it. I used to sit back and say; “I'm just waiting to find somebody that can take me where I need to go.” Some of you out there need to hear that you're a pioneer and you just need step forward because you're actually the one everybody's waiting on. Few weeks ago, when I sat down with Donnie getting ready to launch the show. I'm sitting there with Candyce, my administrative assistant office coordinator girl and she said, I need you move; She told me point blank, I need you moving forward because I'm waiting for you to go places that I want to go. Basically, in Texas term, she told me I'm the slow car in the left lane. So that immediately made me push my foot straight to the floorboard. Which, for those of the written in the car with me know that I drive fast anyway. But I'm a cop's kid, I mean, we were born to drive fast. So, what I did in that sit, she had said that to me, we've had our open house. We've done an expo, we've sponsored a luncheon for women, we've launched the magazine, we've launched the podcasts, we've got it up on YouTube as well. This morning, we found out we are on I Heart Radio as well. There are amazing things that are happening, but what I really want you to realize is all of it started with aligning myself of where we wanted to go and taking that step forward. Now there's plenty of other women out there doing amazing things. And we're going to try and get them on the show if you know of an amazing woman that we need to get on the show that will may be local to the Dallas Fort Worth area or is coming through the Dallas Fort Worth area soon. We want to have them on the show, but today I want to talk about Eva Fulton. She runs the largest women's veterans’ group in the state of Texas I know, if not the world, and she is the author of the people garden. I'm sorry, but she sees people. She sees their talents; she sees their abilities and she is just a very powerful woman. Yes, I'm getting a little choked up about, a little bit allergy and a little bit of choked up. But her ability to see and call out greatness and others is unmeasured. And so today she is our EVERYDAY DIVA. She is the one that is a cheerleader. She stands for what's right and for what's wrong. She doesn't see any limits or on her abilities and she keeps moving forward. She has done it with a spouse, she's done it as a single mom, she has just kept moving forward in life, and is an inspiration every day with all that she does. She's a veteran as well and I am just super excited to honor her today with our EVERYDAY DIVA and she actually has an article in our magazine this month. So, remember, as you go out this week, I want you to remember to align yourself with who you were called to be. Step forward into the greatness of what you can see ahead for yourself and keep dialing in that life that's yours. Because as Paul’s sitting here in the background, getting all choked up doing this podcast and trying to sip a sip of water, he's got all these dials he's going to be moving and doing and all that stuff, because he's focusing on making things perfect. You can have that too, but you're going to have to make some adjustments to get there, are you willing to? So, that's going to do it for this week, and I look forward to talking to you next week. And, as always, remember to be a DIVA and make an Impact.

Hello and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I am ecstatic to get started today. We are going to be talking about one of my favorite historical women today just because she has taught me so much throughout my life. So, before we get started, I do want to remind you that we have our UnMasked Conference coming up in October, October 11 and 12th. In Grapevine Texas, you can go to DIVASImpact.com/unmasked and find out more details there. As we start putting all the information and getting us ready to go for this conference. We are putting together a phenomenal lineup of amazing women to come and speak at that event. We're going to have special booths for you to be able to come in and be a guest on a podcast, or maybe do a quick video blurbs and photo shoots. We're going to have just a ton of ways to not only just encourage and inspire you but to help activate you as well. So, we look forward to having you join us October 11 and 12th in Grapevine Texas, at the Divas Impact | UnMasked Conference, and then if you have not seen it yet, we have just recently released our DIVAS Impact magazine. So, it is live online with subscription options if you want the print edition as well. We are just burnin’ and turnin’ right now with in the DIVAS Impact world and super stoked about all the things that we've got coming up over the next few weeks. So, I think told you about my girlfriend, Abigail, right? Abigail is a historical person, you find her in First Samuel 25 of the Bible. The reason I'm referring to Abigail is because Abigail is the girl that helped me find my voice again, help me find my purpose again. If you don't know the story of Abigail, I'm going to paraphrase it and give it kind of the diva version of it today. You know, a friend of mine, Michael Jr, who's a comedian, he does the whole homeboy version of reading the Bible. I do the diva version of reading the Bible. So, one of the things that I loved about Abigail is she is a woman who is married to a not very nice, man, all right? Now, I know that I've got a lot of girlfriends out there that are, are struggling in their marriages. Maybe their husband is verbally or emotionally abusive. Hopefully he's not physically abusive, and you're still in the relationship, but even so, Abigail was married to a man named Nebal. All right, and Nebal was a foolish man, he was just a downright mean, ugly, and liked to party and drink all the time. Any my girlfriend's out there can relate to that having a husband like that, never grew up type personality, right. So, he just was very harsh and rude, and his dealings, never really was fair, even though he'd been given a lot of grace and a lot of blessings in his life. He didn't feel the need to pass on or pay forward those blessings at all right? So in walks, David - now, I use this story because a lot of my girlfriends are like, “man, I have a prayer that if I could just get out of this bad marriage, there's a true man, a king, a somebody waiting to ride up on this white horse and whisk me off my feet”, you know, just like the Disney fairy tales, right? But I started calling this the Abigail prayer, like the prayer of Jabez in the Bible, they have the prayer of Abigail, “Lord, if you would just smite my husband down and bring me a king and his presence”, right? Well, that's a little bit about what I'm going to talk about today, and I hope you have a sense of humor and are going to join me in this thing. But I'm going to challenge you that the prayer of Abigail never turns out the way you want it to turn out. So, hold on to your seats, we're going to get in this pretty deep, pretty fast. So, there's this guy named David. Anybody heard of David in the Bible? He kind of wrote the song Psalms, he's kind of known for being a little foolish himself at times, but he was a musician. He had God's heart; he even sent a guy to be killed so he can marry his wife. He had some good days, he had some bad days, let's just be real with it. But the thing about David was, he was a ferocious fighter and he was an honorable man for most parts. He had been protecting the land that Nebal had for many years and kept all of his sheep and his men safe and all of that stuff. So, now they're out there wandering and David and his men are starting to get a little hungry, right? So they send word to Nebal, send some messengers to Nebal, that says, “Hey, dude, you know, while we've been camped out here, you know, your lands not been taken over by the enemy, you know, you've had great protection for your crops, your sheep, all of that stuff. So hey, could you do us a solid and send us over some food to feed us because we're, we're hungry here.” And Nebal just kind of got rude. You know? He said, “uh, who's this David guy? I don't know who he is. Nobody's protected me but me. I didn't need him. I don't need to send him food. I don't need to do any of that stuff.” So, when the messengers took that word back to David, David threw a fit. He had anger in his mind. He had anger in his heart, and he was ready to just annihilate everybody on Nebal's property, right? So, what had happened? I know I've talked about Nebal and David, what had happened was one of the messengers that got word from one of the guys that gotten word from the messengers, went to Abigail, Nebal’s wife, and said, “Ma'am, you know, these guys have really protected us, they've been kind to us, they've kept us safe when war was so close, and our master has just basically hurled insults at them and turned a blind eye to them, slammed the door in their face, so to speak. And I fear that going up against a man, the strongest, David is going to lead to all of our demise by morning. We will all be dead by morning.” So Abigail - these are the things that I love about Abigail says, Abigail went to her pantry. Now, all of us have a little pantry in our house, it may be a closet, it may be a shelf, it may be something but we have a place where we keep things that we've got ready to make a meal at any time. But what I love about this is it says she took 200 loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dress sheep’s, five sheaths of roasted grain, 100 cakes of raisins, 200 cakes of pressed figs and loaded them onto donkeys. Okay, so this woman had been having or had been preparing or had been having prepared for a while, these things that she loaded onto this donkey. She went out and she pulled out of a store place thing that she'd been preparing for a long time. So today, I want to ask you and challenge you on something, what is it that you've been working towards or hoping towards and storing away for a long time? Maybe you've been writing in a journal, maybe you've been writing, writing a blog that's never been published, maybe you've been writing a screen written play that's never seen the light of day or a novel. Maybe you've been making little things at home for yourself that you enjoy, but all of your friends’ compliment on you, but you've never sold them or given them away to anybody else. Maybe you've been studying everything there is about anatomy and, all that stuff but never gone and taken the classes to be a nurse. There's something in your pantry, something in your life that you've kind of been pulling aside and setting aside for that rainy day, and I want you to be challenged with. That rainy day is here. It is time for you to start pulling those things out of your pantry. Now one of the other things that Abigail did is she loaded those onto the donkey, and she rode out to meet David. Now, David, David again, he was upset. But when he saw Abigail - Abigail quickly got off her donkey. She bowed down to David with her face to the ground, falling at his feet, and then she gave the longest recorded speech by a woman in the Bible. Now how many of y'all have sat there and heard that women in the church cannot speak, they're not to be heard, all that stuff? Yes, that's over in the New Testament on that. But this woman is standing before the future king of Israel, and throwing herself at his mercy in speaking on behalf of her husband and all his land, right? She had a voice and she was empowered to use it at a certain time. And she says “pardon your servant, my lord. And let me speak to you, hear what your servant has to say,” She's letting him know that she's submitting to him and his power in his strength. “Please pay no attention, my Lord to what that wicked man named Nebal, he is just like his name. His name means fool and folly goes with him.” So, she dished on her husband, she got a little jab in there we all do it from time to time, right? “And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men My Lord sent and now my lord is surely as your God lives. And as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming My Lord be like Nebal, and let this gift which your servant has brought to my Lord, be given to the men who follow you.” So, she gave everything off her donkey to David to feed his men, and to really just stand strong, to let David know that she was she was on his side and she meant no harm or no foul to him. But the other thing that I like the next part of this the whole like it says, “please forgive your servants presumption. The LORD your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my Lord”, when she says My Lord, she's talking about David, “because you fight the Lord's battle and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live, even though someone that is pursuing you to take your life, the life of the Lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living God but the lives of your enemies, he will be hurled away as from the pocket of a sling.” Hmm, remember David, “Use this sling before and when the Lord is fulfilled for my Lord, everything he promised concerning him is appointed him ruler over Israel, my Lord will not have one thing on his conscience, the staggering burning of needless bloodshed, or having a bench himself and when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant?” Okay, there was a lot of Lord their God, and my Lord, and all that stuff. It almost sounded like a southern Christmas, you know, my lord. But here's the thing she's saying here is don't go out and react the way Nebal reacted. I'm here, I'm offering peace. And I'm not only trying to save you from hunger, I'm trying to save you from making a foolish choice and avenging something that is not even your battle to avenge. Right? She was trying to keep David holy and pure, so that he would be the rightful owner and the rightful king, heir to the throne of Israel, right? So, she did something that I used to train my admin assistants all the time, I used to tell them all the time, you are there to protect your pastor, from everybody, including himself. So being that gatekeeper, whether you're an admin assistant for a fortune 500 company, a small mom and pop company, a church, whatever it is, being that gatekeeper is knowing what could bring harm to them and seeing that even when they can't see it when they're blinded by foolishness or rage or, or whatever's coming up against them, helping them to curb their appetite for revenge, right. And that's exactly what Abigail did that day. She stood before David, dropped to her face, and pled with him to save not only her husband's life and the lives of the men, but his own. That is powerful, people. When you realize that you have a voice to make an impact and how you go out tomorrow, making that impact is so significant. Now, this next part is the part that I really relate to. Yes, I loved the part about the pantry because it reminded me that no matter what circumstance of life, I'm in, I still have the opportunity to do the work that I'm called for. I was telling somebody the other day they were asking me about all the speaking topics I have. I'm like, Oh, I have hundreds of them. Some of them have seen light of day, some of them have not. But I literally have file drawers full of things that I've written, because even when I didn't feel like I had a voice, I put it down on paper. I was preparing for a season for when I would have a voice because I knew that was my calling and the purpose that was on me for all long. So, David was thankful to Abigail. He took the food, he let her know that Nebal and his men were not going to be harmed at all and stuff like that. And when Abigail returned that night, her husband was throwing another one of his shindigs. Right? Had all the people out, they were partying, and he was drunk. And Abigail did something out of her pure wisdom, that it took my mom and several other people reminding me many, many years not to do. She saw how drunk he was, and she went to bed. She didn't tell him what at all what all it happened and how she had saved she didn't go in there and go, now listen, here you fool. You don't realize what you just about brought on to us. You didn't, you don't realize the danger you almost brought to us. And I, I, being the upright wife and The Good Wife that I am, I saved ourselves from virtual destruction. No, she went to bed. Now, I like to thank Abigail's human. I bet you she stewed in that bed for a little bit or maybe she was just relieved that what she had done, worked and just took a deep breath before she drifted off to sleep. The next morning, it says she woke up and her husband was sober, and she got to have a talk with him and tell him what it happened. See, calmer, cooler minds prevail, right? That was one of the things my mom used to tell me when my husband was drinking all the time, is don't talk to him when he's drunk. It just gets worse. It just gets worse, and she's right, it would always escalate in something that it didn't need to be. Thank goodness, he's not that man anymore. But at the time, it was just a vicious vicious circle, because I am a toe to toe fighter. Okay, my husband's one of those, they'll throw his hands up, he'll walk away for a little while. But if I keep toe to toe toe fighting and pushing and pushing and pushing, it's going to get ugly. And I'm not talking about physical, but it's going to get vicious with the words that are being slung like stones out of a sling, right? So, she sits down, and she has this conversation with Nibal. And it says that he fell into like a stone like state and few days later, he died. Basically, what that means is he had a stroke, and he passed away, but when he passed away, David heard about it. And he sent for Abigail to be one of his wives. Now here's one of the things I want to talk to all my single girls out there about, because I've got some single girlfriends that are in their late 20s going into their 30s, some even reaching into their 40s. And they've never been married. And they keep saying, I'm just waiting for my king to come. Are you being the Queen that he needs to see? Because see, David wasn’t the king when he met Abigail, but Abigail had role two qualities. She knew what was required of her and how to speak, and speak eloquently, and how to be prepared and how to run a home. And how to know when to speak and when to be quiet. See a lot of times, the girls that are saying they're just waiting for their king to come. They're just waiting for somebody to accept them as they are, and they've stopped growing and evolving and doing all that they're called to be. And they're just waiting for some man to come and complete them. A man's not looking for a woman that needs to be completed. A man's looking for a strong, independent woman who knows the calling on her life and is not intimidated by the outside factors. So, which one do you want? A lot of times, neither one of you are kings nor queens when you get married. Your prince and princesses, and we all know how bratty some of them can be right? We've all watched the Disney fairy tales. My daughter and her kids just got back from Disneyland last week. I'm just telling you, after the kids had been around some of the princesses and stuff, they were a little bratty too, it rubs off. So have the women in your life that when you say something that you shouldn't say, and you know you shouldn't say it, or kind of hold you accountable, and be strong in your life and push back and tell you now, you can do better, you can be better. See, because Abigail did get her king, he wasn't a king when he married her. He was still, he was still an heir to the throne, wasn't even a prince. But as they were married, he became a king. So, my question to you is, are you willing to look for the man to lay your life down for a man in a way that will lift him up and also elevate you? See, a lot of times, I'm running into women nowadays that come in and go well my man needs to, or my man needs to do this, or my man... He jumps when I speak. My husband jumps to, but I'll tell you what, he jumps because of a love, not because of an intimidation and there's a difference. And we have to know what that difference is. He jumps because he knows how much it means to me. He also knows that I'm not asking him to do something just because I want to see him move. I'm asking him to do something that is purposeful and intentional for where I want to be and where I want us to be as a relationship. Now, how many of you out there right now some of this may have stung y'all a little bit today? I'm right there with you. When I first started hearing the story of Abigail, I was like, what do you mean, she went to bed, she needed to go in there and tell him, give him a word, tell him how to act and that sums it up. Remember, I'm the one that stood over my husband at our seven-year wedding anniversary and told him I made it last out of spite. I can be a little vindictive, I can be a little in your face. Okay, I can be a lot in your face, but that's not the point. The point is that we need to find a way to love ourselves and be passionate for those that we walk alongside with. My husband when I look at the fact that Abigail served David and I do the same thing for my husband. But you know what he does it for me too. It's a reciprocal thing. It's not an Old Testament fall on your face in the woman's below the man thing. We are partners, we are helped. When my husband calls and he has a problem, I 99.9% time answer unless I'm in here recording a podcast and then he has to be on Do Not Disturb, but I answer the phone, because I know he's needing something from me at that time. When I call him, he answers the phone, because he knows I'm needing something from him. Sometimes it's just to hear each other's voice. If we can stop looking at people as to what they can give us, and what they, how they will elevate us in society. Then we can start realizing that we have everything we need right here at our fingertips. We just have to dig deep. Look at the things we've been collecting over the years. What's in your pantry? What is it you're seeking? How is it that you want to make an impact on the world? Now this is going to bring me to this week's EVERYDAY DIVA, and the reason it brings me to this week's EVERYDAY DIVA is because this EVERYDAY DIVA would tell me consistently. “Don't talk to him when he's drunk, just walk away. Behave.” And that's my mom, Ginny Davis. She is the one that was there. When things would happen, my mom is the one that also prayed a prayer over me, ‘Lord, whatever it takes, bring her closer to you.’ Let me just tell you, if you're in a place right now to pray that over your child, your husband, yourself, whatever it is, be prepared for the whatever it takes, because it will send you through some challenging places in life. And it did. And I remember my mom sitting there with me one day and saying, I know I prayed that prayer. But I didn't mean all this. And I could, at peace, look at her and say, but this is what we needed to have the breakthrough. Because Have you ever watched somebody get a trophy for being the last place team and I'm not going to get on any political things here. But they show up to the baseball field, they haven't won a game, they can't throw a ball, they can't run. They can't hit a ball at the end of the season. But they've got a trophy because they participated. And then Have you watched a team that is played all the way up to the Little League World Series and won the whole series. There is a much different sense of accomplishment from the ones that won at the World Series level than the ones that just showed up and had fun. Because in those times, you're tried, you're tested, you're pushed beyond your limits. You're exhausted, you're worn out, you're battered, you're bruised, you're injured, but you still completed the task ahead of you. When you have a mom like I had that said, Lord, whatever it takes, and she prayed that in earnest. That's what it took me through. It took me through a whole bunch of bull Kaka to get me where I needed to be and caused that breakthrough. And let me just tell you that breakthrough was so much sweeter because of that. So like I said, today's EVERYDAY DIVA is my mom, Ginny Davis, maybe you want to call your mom today and thank her for saying the prayers that she said for you and pushed you and challenged you in ways that you didn't like at the time but you needed, but whatever that looks like for you. I hope that you will stand strong today, know that your voice matters, know that it has an impact, but you have to use your voice wisely. So, it will be at its most impactful. So that's going to do it for today, until next time. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe, and remember to be a DIVA and make an Impact.

Ep 8 | What Threatens Your Peace Howdy and welcome to warrior divas real talk with real women. This is your host Angie Lehman row. And we are going to have a great show here in just a minute. So think about it today, tell me what you're up to get on our social media, tell me what you're up to what you're doing what you're motivated about, where you want to be six months from now, we want to hear from you. We want to connect with you. This shows not just about putting on a show and you listening to me all the time, we want to know what's going on in your world. I mean, this doesn't work without some given take people come on. So I also want to remind you to go to our divas impact calm and sign up for our unmasked conference, it's going to be October 11 and 12th. in Dallas, Texas, it's actually going to be in Grapevine, Texas, but everybody calls us the whole area Dallas, I don't understand that. I'm actually a Fort Worth type girl. But anyway, come on, join us in Grapevine, Texas, October 11 and 12th. And get ready to just have your socks rocked off. But today Today, I want to start off like I do every day and remind you that I am Angie Monroe, I am your girlfriend. And what we're going to talk about is we're going to talk about some tough stuff today. You know, what threatens your peace? Ah, yeah. here lately, I've heard a lot of people talking about anxiety, and stress and tension, and sleepless nights. And I just want to talk to you about what threatens your peace? What is it that you're going through right now that if this thing happened, you would not feel safe and secure? You know, it's changed for me over the years, you know, a lot of people say, you know, a man needs a woman to love him. And, and, and treat him kindly and, and do all sorts of acts of service for him. And I'm talking about, you know, just being that support role. If a man's not feeling supported, then he doesn't feel loved, right? For women, most of the time, it's if they don't feel safe, they don't feel loved. Well, what is threatening your safety, your security? No, one of my first times I really paid attention and looked at this was right after the Columbine shootings. What was that 20 years ago now? And my youngest daughter was just starting elementary school that fall. And we were standing in the garage at my parent's house. And she just looked up at me and she had these big, tearful eyes. And she asked me, am I gonna be safe? Talk about something that just crushes your soul, when you're preparing your children or your spouse or a loved one to go off somewhere. And their biggest concern is, am I going to be safe? You know, I sat in that garage that day. And I just had a conversation with her and explained to her what the teachers and the counselors and the principals and all in the even the school security guards, that their homes whole job was to make sure that they felt safe and that they were safe. And that mommy and daddy would get to them just as soon as they could. But what little comfort that gives a child when they see all the things happening in the world, as I'm recording this show this morning, there was another active shooter in the downtown area of Dallas this morning. And so how do people go to work? How do they go about their everyday stuff? and not have fear? I hope some of you there listening to this already know the answer to this. But we'll share a little bit more about that a little bit. Now we've talked about my marriage with my husband, Michael and the ebb and flow that we've had throughout the years. And it's not always been pretty. And you know, he's not always been kind and neither have I and we've always had friction, right? When we first got married, we would have the checking account and he would see money in the account. And he just spends on the debit card, not knowing that I had checks outstanding. Or he would go out drinking on Friday with his paycheck and come home with half of the paycheck and we needed all of it plus some to pay the bills that were Do you know, there was a lot of these things that really just ate away at my safety and my security. And what it did was it built up resentment, and it built up hate and that built up anger. And it's still my piece. See, there was just one action that happened. But my reaction to it is what helps to steal my peace. I remember the morning of 911 I remember exactly where I was what I was doing. I not only had my three children, my neighbor next door I had her son as well. I had just taken them to school. And I'm watching the plane fly into the towers. Our schools at that time had some major renovations going on. So the announcer system, the paging system, all that stuff was down. And I know when I went up to the school, there were droves of parents up there checking their kids out of school and I saw the look on the secretary space that day going you want your children so I said no. I want to leave my children here in the classrooms as long as I can. I want to preserve their innocence as long as I can. But what can I do to help because in that moment of terror and anger and frustration, I was not gonna let what happened robbed me of my peace. There would be plenty of time to process the emotions over the next few days, weeks years to come. But at that moment, I was choosing my peace over the anxiety that could come with the attack. My mother was a government worker when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. Knowing that your mother's in a building in downtown Dallas, when that's happening in Oklahoma, that can get your nerves up a little bit. But then again, I was raised knowing where my peace comes from. Living in Texas where the weather is so unpredictable, it goes from sunny to tornadoes and in storms in matters of minutes. I have a cousin of my husband that does not come down to visit. Because he's afraid of tornadoes. There's actually tornadoes where he lives. He's just afraid of them here because there's so many that come. But see, again, I know where my peace comes from. I've had several family members that have been sick over the last little bit. They were either short illnesses or month long illnesses they didn't they weren't year long illnesses, they were just a few months before they were gone. Walking through the stages of grief with someone as they're letting go versus walking through the stages of grief after they're gone are two totally different things that impact you in totally different ways. Just a sudden, jolting shock of they're gone. can really set you on edge. Doesn't mean that either one is more or less. They're both griefs. They're both ways to walk through it. But one of them makes you feel like you've been robbed of something while the other one makes you thankful that you had those moments that you had with them. But in the middle of it, it's Where's your peace? Micah 7:7 yes, I'm using a Bible verse here shoot me, says I wait and hope for my Lord. I know he sees me. Wow. You know, one of the things that I want to remind everybody of is sometimes the things are going on in our lives. Just think they're horrible. They're coming away and ripping away the fiber of what we knew was right and in true and, and functional. And telling us that Nope, you can't have that anymore. And now you're out here. And you're lost. And you're alone. And you don't know what is next. I am a veteran of we've talked about that before. I'm a Navy veteran. And right now, the largest demographic of homeless people right now is female veterans. Can you imagine what it feels like to serve your country to be willing to go where you're told to go do what you're told to do and come back. And you get out and you have nothing? Absolutely nothing. Some of its mental health, some of its emotional health, some of its just a loss of purpose. And not knowing where to go and how to be Whoo hoo at all. They were called to be another friend that's going through some changes right now in her life and in diagnosis has just come up for her and, and she's not claiming the diagnosis as the narrative of her life. What she's claiming is, is that she needs help. And I love that, that she is finding safety and security and being who she is, but still seeking help. She's finding out where her peace is. Now granted, the challenges that she's dealing with right now the peace may be coming and going, depending on what emotional state she's dealing with, that she's seeking peace with every fiber of her being. How many of us can really say that? How many of us can look at the things that are going on day to day today and going, I choose peace, I choose joy. I've got another friend who lost her sister to an abusive husband a year ago this week. And as they enter this week long, additional mourning process of such a tragic loss that just devastated the whole family. They are making conscious choices to choose joy, and to choose peace and to forgive. They are finding ways to overcome the things that are coming up against them. We all have them. There are things that come up against us each and every day that come to rob, kill and destroy whatever positive attitude we have. So again, I ask what threatens your peace? See, I'm a solutions person. So either believes that if we know what the problem is, then we can always find the solution. If you know what's threatening your peace, then we can find a way to help you find that peace, and be in tune with that peace and eliminate that threat. Many of us don't wait till the threat happens to make our mind up is what we're going to do. A lot of us are planners. So if something were to happen to a loved one of mine, I already know some of the steps that would be taken to help eliminate the threat to my peace. That doesn't mean that I won't still have emotional turmoil, I still won't have other things going on. But let's just let's get really depressive here for a second. Grave planning, end of life planning, right? You buy a burial plot, you pay for your funeral, you do all of that stuff. Why do you do that? It's because the ones that you will eventually leave behind when you don't want to threaten their peace with your passing. You want to provide for them and encourage them and make sure that they are taken care of and that they don't have another bill hanging over their heads, right? Why do people put away for the college for their kids, because I don't want to get surprised when their kid turns 18 and go they want to go to college and you now have to fork up $180,000 there are things that we do to eliminate the threat to our peace, right? Some of that is setting boundaries. How many of you have people in your life that are not very peaceful at all, they're always yelling and screaming and cussing and throwing things and in their attitude just stinks. Make just space around you a peaceful space. Make the places that you enter shift with the atmosphere when you enter them because you bring about a piece that they don't have. One of the people that I know that does this is phenomenal. She is a firecracker. She comes in she does all sorts of amazing things. And most people that engage with her unless they're her friend have no clue at what she walks through day by day. It is amazing to me how many people get a paper cut, just a paper cut. And they start screaming like the world is ending and they're dying. But yet I'm watching people walk through the trenches, bloody, maimed, and physically destroyed, instills screaming out peace, hope, love, and joy. I get tickled at the people that say they can't do this, or they can't do that. Because they've got it. They've got some sort of injury, say they sprained their ankle. I can't do this because I sprained my ankle. Okay, but what can you do? We're not talking about massive injuries, we're not talking about disabilities that are debilitating. But what I am saying is, a lot of the times, there are things you can do that you can be responsible, don't give away your piece to your disability. I watch disabled people do some amazing, spectacular things in their community and for their community. It's just a hiccup in the road. Some of you might get a little irritated with this. Not all right. I'm speaking my mind on my show, from my perspective, to stir the pot with you a little bit today. Because some of you are just being lazy. And you're complaining about you're not having peace, and you're being lazy. Because you're not willing to do the work to get the peace. I am so sick and tired of people coming to me and going, Well, I need you to do this for me. Why do I need to do it for you? I've got my own stuff going on. We've got the podcasts, we've got our blogs going on. We've got an online magazine, we've got a conference going on. Talking with women and men daily about different things with their businesses, helping my husband running a business, not to mention helping the family life at home, all of the things that are on my plate, why do I need to help you? What is it that you can't do for yourself? Because here's my thing, I get people messaged me all the time, wanting me to help them, coach them for free. or help them brainstorm on these ideas here or there. And I don't mind doing that. And our groups are Facebook groups, we have groups you can be a part of, and you not only get the input from me, but you also get input from everybody in our group. And it's amazing, and it's wonderful and all that stuff. But if you come to sit down at the table with me, and you have no thought, no plan, no idea of where you want to go or where you want to be, why do you want me to invest more in you than you're willing to invest in yourself? Can I get an amen? Hello? Yeah. I just said that. Do not come to the table, expecting someone else to invest more in you than you are willing to invest in yourself. Now, what does this have to do with peace? When you start investing in yourself into your mental your emotional your physical stability, and in growth, then you start to find ways to find peace at a higher level. I am Uber busy right now, doesn't stop me from still taking on new clients, still having conversations with people. But the people that I do have that quote-unquote, freebie conversations with are people that I know we're already jumping through hoops to make things happen for themselves. A while back, I had a woman messaged me, and she said, it's great that you're selling this product. But why in the world? Do I have to pay for it? I can't afford that I can't afford this. I said well, I wouldn't expect you to afford the product that I provided right now. I would expect you to take part in the services and the products that we offer for free and get your mindset right so that you will see that this is a worthwhile investment for where you're needing to be. But you're not. I said I wouldn't recommend buying the product that I'm selling right now. Then she got all sorts of mad over that too. Why can't buy the product you have right now. I said because your mindset is not where it needs to be to receive the material that we're putting out. See, she had to break down where her piece was, she immediately went into offensive mode because I offered one thing on our site for a fee. But I had hundreds of hours of content that was free. She listened right past that saw the one that charged something and threw a fit. have peace. Peace comes when you look at something and you hear it and you know you need it. And you have no qualms and making the investment for yourself. It may not be easy. It may not come without sacrifice, but you know that you need to step forward? You know, I, I've had this conversation many times before. I've sat in a room with people. And I've wanted to invest in something to the moon and back. And quite honestly, I didn't have the bandwidth and the bank to pay for it. But I didn't stop there either. I went back I said, Listen, what can we do within this budget? This is the budget I do have? How can we move me forward until I can get to the place that we want to be next, start freeing me up now to where I need to be next. See, a lot of times we somebody throws a number out at us and we bought them we like we can't afford that we can't do this, push back, gain some of your traction back, figure out what you can afford counter off with that if they won't take that find the next Joe that will. But you are in charge of your peace, you're not missing out on something unless you find a way to make it happen. Now, the things that are taking place with divas impact this year, are not things that have just kind of been, oh, let's do this. These are things that have been thought of and planned on since 2011. These are things that we have been moving towards since that timeframe. So for me to sit here and go, just make it happen. I'm not saying to do it overnight. This isn't instant gratification. This is making sure you're doing the things today that puts you one step further in front of yourself than you were yesterday. Just one step. The old football coach at the high school my kids played for he had the terminology, we only need to win by one. Each day, all you need to win is by one footstep each day, get up put one foot in front of the other and be one step further than you were yesterday. I guarantee you taking proactive steps for yourself will open you up to greater peace in your life than you have ever known or imagined. Now I'm going to tell you a little bit more about my friend, Dr. Michelle Bengston, she's our everyday divas this week. And the reason I'm talking about her today is that she is one of those women that every day gets up puts one foot in front of the other. This is a woman that is battling cancer, like no other it has ravaged her in so many ways. She has a radio show. She is a book author. She is a neuropsychologist. I had to write it down on my screen here because I knew I was gonna mess that up if I didn't. She is an author. She's a speaker. And she talks about overcoming adversity and finding hope in her book which is titled Hope Prevails. And let me just tell you, this woman is a dynamic firecracker. I have watched her speak she is full of grace, she is full of mercy. She has those rough days. She does. I mean, if you're going through cancer, you're gonna have rough days. But she has those rough days. But yet, she is still always pointing to where her peace comes from. She's not losing hope. She's not losing her peace. She's just in the battle. So this week, as you're going about, and looking at what's up at up ahead for you What's Next, I want you to start asking yourself what threatens your peace? And what can you do each day to overcome that threat? Now if you want to chat, shout out to us, you can always reach us at our inner circle for divas impact. It's a group page. Its divas impact inner circle groups. You can also contact us on our social media and on our website. But those are the places that you connect with us, communicate with us. And then if you're ever interested in coaching or training or any of that stuff, you can find that on the website. But I want to challenge you, each and every one of you to stop looking at what you're not getting and focus on stepping towards what you're wanting and willing to work for and finding that inner peace. Again, this is Angie Monroe, your host and until next time, we'll talk to you later bye bye

Episode 7 | Chicken Little Syndrome Hello and welcome to warrior divas podcast real talk for real women and I am your host Angie Lehman rho. I'm so excited to get started with you today. We are got a great show coming up. And we are going to have kind of some fun at the expense of my husband here in a little bit. So but before we get started, I want to remind you all about our conference coming up in October, October 11 and 12th. It will be in Grapevine, Texas, and we are having an amazing line up of speakers coming in to talk some activations to do when you walk out of conference, you are not just going to be walking out and going, oh, I've attended another conference, you're going to be ready and armed with some amazing things to go out and, and just exponentially increase your life from where you're at now, so put it on your calendar, October 11 and 12th divas impact unmasked in Grapevine, Texas, you can find more information out at divas impact.com. But like I tell you every week, I am Angie Liebman row and I am your girlfriend. So one of the things I like to do is I like to dish with my girlfriends, don't you? We like to talk we like to have fun. And I'm going to share some stories that will poke a little bit of fun at my husband. But there is a story and a lesson behind each of these things that we're going to talk about. So bear with me, I'm not male bashing my husband by any means. We are just going to use some lightheartedness to learn a lesson today. Alright. So a few years ago, my husband and I and our three kids decided to go on a camping trip up in Daisy, Arkansas, Daisy, Arkansas, at that time was population of probably about 100 people. And this was 14 years ago, I think so we didn't have a boat. We had our tents. And we didn't really have a truck that we could haul a lot of stuff in. So we switched out cars with my brother to load my brother my car, we took his truck when my brother loaned us his truck, he said right here in the front, passenger side tire is a screw shouldn't have any problems with it. It's been there a while. But just in case you have a problem, it's probably going to be that tire Just so you know, it's just so you're aware. Like Okay, so we loaded up the truck, we loaded up the kayak, we loaded up the tents and we went up to Arkansas, and we had it planned, where we do a day camping there at the campsite hanging out on the lake and we'd go up to murphysboro, Arkansas, where they dig for diamonds was and we dig for diamonds one day and spend another day at the lake and go up to hot springs and visit hot springs and tour around there and show the kids the climb to the mountain or the tower at the top of the mountain, things like that. And then another death like in our last big adventure was to go up to Calvert camp, Albert Pike. Now camp, Albert Pike is something that heard about my whole life, there's a winding staircase, there's some beautiful scenery, where you hike in, and you ride these little rapids down on these on this winding staircase. But on the other side of it, there are all these logging roads that lead in and out of the camp. And just north of that camp is a place called Little Missouri Falls. Well, my husband is one of those that work with as well, and it says let's go explore. So we started winding up the Little Rock, gravel, dirt road, that kind of one car may be too if they suck in their side mirrors can get by at one time. And we're going along down below this is babbling creeks of water, we've got our dog with us, we're having a great time. And my husband asked the kids, Hey, y'all want to ride in the back of the truck. They're like, yeah, this is gonna be awesome. So they jump out of the truck. And my son hollers over to my husband and says, Hey, we got a flat tire. So my husband gets out expecting it to be that front, passenger side tower. It's not it. It's the back, passenger side tire. So here we are. Remember, this is a very narrow dirt gravel road. My husband's changing the tire. He gets that tire fixed, we gon go on up to little Missouri falls, we have a good day there, we come back. And we're just going to see where the trailhead is for the winding staircase. We're not going to go to it today. But we're going to just go see where it's at. Excuse me. So we go up through the park and we're on now this asphalt surface. We go over a speed bump, and all of a sudden, and you hear before I could even really react to understand what it happened. My husband goes into full-on Chicken Little syndrome. We're screwed. We're screwed. We're screwed hands flying up in the air. We're screwed. And at this point, he took me off guard so much because he's not a very emotionally charged person that I like to do was a laugh. So as a deer, if you'll park the car there, I'll take the kids to the restroom, you can go and talk to the camp host and see if maybe he can help you figure out what we need to. We're screwed. We're screwed. So off we go. We get done going to the bathroom. We go in, we sit in the little reflecting pond areas that they have there. We're swimming, we're having a great time this good old boy that had been camping there was in an inner tube. And he had he was a one-armed guy. And it was just very unique. And so we're sitting there he's talking to us. He's paddling around in that inner tube, you know, and, and he's just circling around us a little bit as he's talking to us and goes, you know, you got a flat tire, don't you? I said, Yeah, my husband went up to the camp host to go see if we could get some help. Well, the other part of the story, I don't know, is the camp host up there. Open the door. My husband told him about the problem. He says, well, there's a town 20 miles that way and slams the door, my husband's face. So my husband had set out to walk to town. And then he got mad and he says, forgets this. We're just going to limp it back home. So he came back. When he came back, I'd already been talking to this gentleman for a while and the guy goes, Hey, I'll run into town. So here we are. We are literally in the middle of the Washington National Forest. This gentleman gets out of his relaxation time, gets in the car takes my husband 20 miles down the road. They get there. The tire stores closed. I don't even know what my husband said at that moment. But they did tell you about another one further on down the road. So they drove back past the place where they met the fork of the road drove another 20 miles to another store. This kid happened to go in the back where the grass was growing up between them and found the size tires we needed for this truck because it was not just any normal tires. It was a random funky tire. So they come back. They change out the tire. I know Mike's had a rough day something like come on children. Let's get out of the water. Let's go. Let's not make your daddy wait on us. He looked at me He's like, get back in the water. We're going to happen. He was not done yet. So, later on, that night, we're back at our campsite. He had already told the young man he'd be back the next morning for another tire because of we already had that one out. And I'm walking up towards the showers. And I just looked at my the husband said, Does this tire look flat? You gotta be kidding me. Are you serious? Are you serious? So the next morning, he got up, put up enough air in the tires to get them to where they need to be got the other three tires changed out. And when we return the truck back to my dad, my brother, it still had that same front driver side tire with the screw in it on it. But all the other three tires had been changed on that truck. Now my husband was not happy for a while after that trip. It was creepy. He was naming me every little thing. But every time something went wrong, my kids and I would do the whole we're screwed. We're screwed. We're screwed thing just to get trying to get him to laugh kind of poke the bear a little bit. He was not amused. See, one of the things that had happened in our marriage and our life and our things that have gone on is we had had a series of events that we had started to believe what's next? What can happen next? Oh my gosh, what now? Recently we had neighbors move into our home. I think it was in our neighborhood. It was April May time frame they moved in. And within a month of being in, they had a tree fall on their house. It's natural to ask What now? Right? I had a friend that moved into a new house in March out on the north side of Fort Worth, that neighborhood has been hit twice by major storms in the last three weeks. It's routine to ask what's next, those things kind of automatically come up. But see, some of the things that we don't realize are the priceless memories that are built during that time. We saw a great example of a neighborly guy come in, didn't have to give up any of his vacation time at all, and helped my husband out. My kids still, talk about that being their favorite vacation of all times. Because there was adversity, there were memories. There was laughter there was just a lot of things that happened during that vacation that we just can't forget, because of the things that happened during that vacation. Then, you know, there's also my husband walking off his anger. You know, sometimes you just gotta walk it off for a little bit before you reengage with everybody else, you know that the burden is laying on your shoulders and you've got to fix something and you've got to handle something. And sometimes you've just got to go walk it off before you reengage. So what is your knee jerk reaction when things go wrong? I would like to say that we all learned some amazing lessons from that experience. And we never had any knee jerk reactions ever, ever again. But I'd be lying. Literally last week, not this past week. But the week before last. We had a major catastrophe on our hands. We had recently bought a boat, it had never been in the water. We were going to go take it and put it in the water later on in that day. And I knew we need to go into town and get some things and again we were back in Daisy, Arkansas. My parents have a cabin up there. Now the population has had a boom they're up to 115 people in that town. And we were just set and ready to go. My husband texts me and asked me if I'm dressed for the day because we've got to go to town. I mean it was an urgent text. Did I say why? And he sends me a picture of his broken fishing pole. You cannot be unlike Greece and then Daisy Arkansas with a broken fishing pole. My husband will break out in hives. Then we decided we're going to head up to hot springs. It's about a 45-minute drive up to hot springs when we go out there. And we come out of the Walmart there and somebody had tried to siphon the gas out of our gas tank but my husband has one of those locking diesel tank things. So we didn't get ripped off there but we could see there was an attempt right. On the way back. We're driving down this two-lane road and out of the woods three o'clock in the afternoon a deer comes running head towards us as we're going east. He's going eastbound as we're going westbound. He runs right down the center stripe of the road. He sees another car coming for him and turns a hard left right into the fender of my husband's truck. back behind the back tire flips goes over the fender of the boat trailer and tumbles down the road. Not seeing nothing but hooves and antlers and ears and all sorts of stuff. Probably not antlers yet, but you get the drift right for flying everywhere. That was just crazy. Three o'clock in the afternoon. It's too hot for dear to be out at that time. But he was out. A little bit later we hear a loud chink sound on our windshield. What was that before we got back to Daisy we already knew it had chipped my husband's windshield. So we get over we get the things changed out on the boat, we're ready to go put the boat in the water for the first time and we get in in the water and we're running it and we're testing it and all of a sudden, it's the throttle is down hard. And we are dead in the water. See one thing I'd made my husband by hot springs that day was a boat paddle. So we don't have any skis on the boat yet. We need a boat paddle because you know how hard that's going to row that boat with that boat paddle. So you know how hard it's going to be to get that boat ashore without a boat paddle. So we took the boat paddle. So I got a video that I shared on my social media of me watching my husband paddle our boat to shore. Because the first thing that happened as soon as that throttle was forward and there was no movement, my husband, that God knew he was going to rip us off. That guy knew that that the drive train was going up. We're just we're out of the water, we're screwed. We're screwed. Oh, my goodness. I'm looking at my husband going he has lost his ever loving mind again. But during that time, he decides he's going to jump into the water and swim it to shore. He gives me an into the rope. He takes the other end of the rope. And during one of the poles Yes, somehow the rope came out of my hand. So now I'm floating to the other side of the lake, people are catching me on the shore. He's got a boat that's coming over to us to pull us over to the boat ramp, we get the boat loaded up, he's all sorts of angry, he's just fuming his head is purple and his boss. So it's a lot of head that's purple. And he walks around the back of the boat, puts his hand over his mouth processes our over his chest and just starts laughing. See, this guy hadn't ripped us off at all. Apparently, we did not check to make sure that the cotter pin had the propeller of the boat locked down. So, therefore, their propellers been off the boat. Yes, we did it to ourselves. And our own reactions made it even worse. By the end of the night. We were laughing we were joking, we're having a good time. But again, it was an inconvenience. Because now we didn't have we had an extra pillar. But we didn't have the cotter pin or the locking nut or the spacer in there was just a lot of things that had to go on. All we wanted to do is get our boat in the water and enjoy it. Oh, and did I mentioned there was a storm coming while we're doing all this. So Where it was nice and peaceful day it kicked up 50 miles an hour winds all of a sudden, yeah, that that was a little handy piece of information I left out. And it literally felt like the sky was falling for a little bit. But the thing that happened during this time was we were all able to laugh about it. Even in the middle of everything. We were still laughing and having a good time going, ah, the joys of ownership. Ah, yes, this is so much fun. We always wanted our own boat to work on, we just didn't know we'd have to work on it this much this best. Our perspective changed, we were able to see the people on the shore that helped catch the boat whenever drifted over to it, and thank them and be engaged with them right then we were able to to see the people that were in the other boat that pulled us over to the boat ramp and thank them and be engaged with them, then we were able to be engaged with the man back up in hot springs the next day that went through three different parts boxes, and pulled out the miscellaneous parts we needed and only charges 20 bucks for them. I mean, it, it was we were not so blinded by the tragedy that was around us that we could not see the blessing that was coming our way. See, my mentor and friend John Maxwell tell us all the time that when life is tough when things get as we call it in the military in the suck. You are really in the prime position to get the greatest blessing and receive the biggest miracle. And I truly believe that I think these stories are our thoughts, engaging stories that just kind of help you go, oh my lord, I think I would have just gone to bed. And several people told us that when we chronicled the day, I think I would just go to bed and start again tomorrow. And we joked about that. But in the moment of all those things happen, my husband and my communication skills were better. We got to enjoy and meet new people and communicate with them. We got to engage with people we would have never been able to engage with. And it made all the difference in what the outcome was. One of the things that I saw that day when we were getting ready to test out the boat and that storm was starting to come in as I saw these clouds forming and they were beautiful clouds forming over the Marina. And if you ever go and look on our social media pages, you will see some of the pictures that I took from that day. But on there, there are also these huge clouds forming and through there are rays of light that keep shining out. And my friend Karen calls those who brace. And so those hope rays of light were shining through the darkness. So no matter what it is you're facing today, no matter what comes up against you. Maybe you just got rent paid and you know, rent is due in less than 14 more days, and you're up against it right now. Maybe you've just gotten a diagnosis that doesn't look good for you start looking at the people that are put in your path along the way because that's where your blessings are found. These are the things that being able to see and recognize the blessing at the moment will set you up for more and more and more blessings. Now, I'm going to tell you here in a minute about Karen Sebastian, because she's our everyday diva this week. But before I do that, I want to give you the opportunity if you email us at blessed at divas impact.com. And tell us about an extraordinary lady in your life that we should highlight on the show. We would absolutely love to do that. But right now, I'm going to talk about Karen because see Karen is one of the founders founding divas of divas impact I in the founder. She was right there pushing me challenging me encouraging me. And she was going through it. During the whole time, she was pushing and challenge me. She had a husband that was dealing with a chronic illness. And she was out speaking and spreading hope and love and joy and her charismatic attitude. everywhere she went. She was the first editor for her magazines when we launched those. She was just the light behind everything we've done. Now I'm telling you about Karen because Karen has another extraordinary person in our life. And that's her dad Bill. Bill is one of those guys that would get up in the morning and walk and swim and do all this stuff. And he was in his 90s, almost 100 years old and he was living his life to the fullest. And that is one of the things he has taught his daughter Karen how to do. One of the beautiful things I get to see now from a distance is watching Karen and her new husband live their life on full display, sharing joy, sharing hope and sharing love to others. And for that reason, I've nominated her this week as our everyday diva. She is full of hope, full of grace. She's written several books. And I'm hoping several more to come. She is a mom, she's a sister, she's a wife. She's a daughter, and she is a legacy builder, like no others. So take some time. Go on our social media look up Karen, learn more about her order her books and just find a way to put that hope for what's to come ahead of what you're dreading today. So that's going to do it for this episode. But I look forward to talking with you next time on where your divas real talk for real women. You have a great week.

Hello, everybody, this is Angie Leigh Monroe, your host of Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women and I am so jazzed today, let's say jazz because I want to say awesome. I don't want to use all these other words, let's say jazz today, and we are about to have a great show. But before we get to that, I just want to remind you all about our conference October 11 and 12th. In Grapevine, Texas, you can go to our DIVASImpact.com website to learn more about it, but it's going to be an Unmasked conference. What does Unmasked mean? It means we are going to be peeling back the layers of gunk that we've built up over the years in our lives to kind of hide who we really want to be from the world. And we're just going to start unveiling some amazing things about each other at this conference, and I'm super excited. We're lining up some great speakers for it. We've got some opportunities for you to come in and be interviewed on pop for a podcast, maybe even think about launching your own podcast. We've got some amazing things building for this conference. So, stay tuned, go to DIVASImpact.com/unmasked, and you will learn more about that. So on with today's show, and like I tell you every week I am Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am your girlfriend. What does being your girlfriend mean? It means that we can get real and we can talk about the stuff we need to talk about. Now today I want to talk about why the other people in your life named you to be a DIVA. I mean, let's get real. You hear the word diva and you hear; you think of somebody like Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston. Some of these are great, amazing singers that can sing, but their attitudes aren't not always necessarily known for being the best, right? Because they are so good at what their attitude has them demanding more from everybody around them. Now, I'm not saying expecting more from others around you is a bad thing, but what I want to talk about today is not about what you expect of others, but what you expect of yourself. See, we've talked before the D in DIVAS is destined. So, what is your purpose? What is your calling? What are you destined for? I, is for Inspired? Who are you inspiring? Who have you been inspired by? What have you been inspired by? And what are you inspiring others to do? The V is for Victory. We all have had issues and challenges in our life, where we may have been a victim or victimized at one time, but we can walk boldly, confidently, that's our key word here boldly and confidently, as a victorious person. Then the A is for Accountable. You know, one of the things that I've started to realize is a lot of women want somebody that they can be accountable with. That they don't know how to build that relationship. Excuse me. So, and then they don't know how to do that with women, because they either don't like women, or they are constantly battling women with women, butting heads feeling like the mean girls or, are feeling like a reject from the popular crowd. And some of us talk about, oh, well, that stuff stopped in junior high. Well, it did, but it didn't, because we still see evidence of it. When we watch shows out there like Bad Girls Club, or Real Housewives, or even The Bachelorette, we see it happen all the time. So, what I want to talk to you today is, why it's important to be a woman that has these characteristics and these values. Because I get asked all the time, why should guys have an interest in DIVAS Impact? And I use this little tidbit with them; I tell them, you know, do you have a wife? Some of them will say no. Like, okay, do you have a daughter? No. Do you have a sister? No. Do you work with women? That's the time this gets them, and those sometimes, they'll still say no. So, were you born of a mother? Have you ever seen a woman? Normally at that point they have to cave in. Here's what's happening right now is we are putting women in the spotlight. When we talk about equality when we talk about pay equality, when we talked about the glass ceilings, when we talked about being victimized on the way to the top. You know, it used to be this whole thing that women always slept their way to the top and it was just a known thing, right? Now the women are standing up and pushing back, but are we doing it in a way that is honoring of ourselves? That's the that's the question I want to ask today. Are we doing it in a way that is honoring of ourselves? So recently, I wrote a letter that kind of had a play on words to one of my state representatives, and it was about an issue going on here in Texas with the plumbing board and stuff because my husband and I own a plumbing company together. And I wrote the phrase off of the crystal adu song that says what you're going to do with the cowboy. I wrote the words ‘what you can do with a plumber’, and I started thinking to myself, what you going to do with a DIVA? Hmm, you know, I think I might rewrite crystal Deuce lyrics to be what you're going to do with a DIVA? Because I want to, I want to talk to you for the next few minutes, about what employers, what bosses, bosses, well, that's an employer. So, let's just, you know, errr erase that part and go back to what a company can do with a woman that is a DIVA? What a husband can do with a woman that's a DIVA? What kids can do with a mom, that's a DIVA? We're going to talk about some of those things today, because those are the things that are going to help us really embrace and understand this movement. We're on to empower and equip women. So, if a woman knows what her plan and her purposes for her life are, she's not constantly trying to jump on the bandwagon at every little thing that comes by. So, there is a way that you can look, and you can say, Okay, what is your path? What are you on? What do you do? Well, I am a woman that is a speaker, a coach and consultant. So, I work one on one with people, I work with businesses, I work with nonprofits, I help encourage, empower, and equip a global community of women change agents to make a positive impact on the world. How do I do that? I do that through our social media. I do that through one on one meetings, I do that through group trainings, I do that through speaking events, I do that through our conference. I do that through this podcast. So, we are very clear as to what our mission is and very soon, we'll have our magazine up. So, in launching again, as we're doing those things, we are constantly finding ways to touch the lives of women, and to highlight the lives of women that have tapped into what their purpose is, what they're calling is, and they know that the journey they are on is the destiny that they were purposed for. So, then what we find is, when women are doing that, they're not looking for fulfillment in 1000 different places, they are focused, they are trained, they are conditioning for the race that they are on, right? So, I don't know if you've ever heard of run for the year, run the year, or something like that. So like 2019 is this year. So, it's the goal to run 2019 miles this year. Okay, first off if you're watching on YouTube, you can look at me and see that I'm not a runner. All right, but here's, the big thing that I am, I'm a walker, I'll get out and walk. I'll do that no problem. So, taking that time frame and going, Okay, I can get out and walk, breaking down 2019 into however many days of the week, I'm going to walk and going okay, I need to hit this many miles a week to be able to hit my goal for 2019. Some days that may be a mile some days that may be 10 miles. So, whatever that looks like, I broke it down because I know the goal, I'm trying to meet. I know the destiny I'm on to reach that goal. Same goes with destined women, we know the goal, the purpose we're on and we know where we want to go and we know what we want to do, but we are going to get on the journey. I got frazzled yesterday when I was getting ready to go and work an expo and when I got on and did a Facebook Live. I was just transparent with my audience. I told them I was frazzled, but I also told him that as frazzled as I was, as almost fearful as I was walking into what I was about to do, I was still doing it, I was still moving towards it, because my goal is at the end of what my journey is. So, the other part of it is, is inspiring, because here's the thing. I have people that inspire me each and every day, they encouraged me, they motivate me, they inspire me to keep going. But the other part of it too, is I constantly hear from other women that are watching what we're doing and are excited about what we're doing and they are inspired to do more for their sphere of influence, and the people that they get to impact. Now, when we talked about the victory thing, you know, I can go out and say, well, I've got this, and I've got that, we've done this, and we've got this many followers, and we've got this many people converting, and we’ve sold so many shirts, and we've sold so many of this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's not the type of victory that I'm talking about. The victory I'm talking about is the lives that were impacting. I have had stuff happen in my life, and if you don't know that, you can go back and listen to some of the first episodes we did of this podcast. But we don't talk about those things from a point of me still being stuck in those things. What we talked about is how we overcame those things to continue our journey towards our destiny. The other part is, is that accountability, side of things. I want to be that Sister, I want to be that accountable person, I need somebody to hold me accountable. Well then, the other part of yourself is going well, I shouldn't need somebody to hold me accountable. I know what I need to do. I know how I need to do it, I'm just not doing it. But we all need relationship, right? That relationship is what helps us grow and evolve and dig deeper to launch this podcast and get things going. I had an idea of how I wanted it to go, I had a lot of things that I had put in place, but I went outside of myself, and I got professionals to come alongside me and help me, people that have been there who have done it, who have had success in those arenas. Here's the biggest thing that we as women do ourselves, is we get out there and we start trying to figure out how to do it ourselves. We try and reinvent the wheel that's been invented since the beginning of time. It's crazy, we beat ourselves up, because we are too afraid to ask for help, and being in an accountable relationship allows you to tear down the mask of you have all your stuff together. To be able to be real with yourself and say, you know, this part of my life's a little messy and I need some help getting some clutter played out of it, can you help me? I'm right there. I have places in my life that I constantly challenge those that I give permission to, to speak into those areas of my life and help me clean them up. I did it when we launched the podcast. I said, as we're launching this, I want you to tell me three amazing things that you liked and give me one thing that I can work one, because I constantly want to grow and evolve. So, what is it that you want to grow and evolve in? Is it getting a new job? Is it finding a job? Is it setting your home to make it a more peaceful place for your family to come home to? Is it being a better wife or mother? What is it that you want to do? Is it learning how to volunteer, or start your own nonprofit or your own business, or write a book or speak whatever it is? Find somebody to hold you accountable to it, and like we said with the sisterhood thing, let's get real. Not all girls are meant to be girlfriends with everybody. Right? But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. I get tickled whenever guys come up to me and they're like, so because it's DIVAS and you're talking about sisters, we don't need to be a part of it. Right? Like, Absolutely not. We have a hashtag for our guys, and it's called studs. If the guys are listening to this, we want you to send us a message and it will tell you what studs is the acronym for; you know, we've got Paul, and we've got Donnie, and we've got Nate, and they're all studs. My husband is a stud. My husband's also known as aka Mr. DIVA, but we use those guys as ways to help us grow, help us look into the places that we may need some correction, that we may have some blind spots, that we may need some professionalism, that maybe what we're looking for isn't out there in the world, that women are providing these services yet at the level we need them to. That's fine, but we will soon be there. I'll still be working with these guys, but the other part, the other reason why guys need women to rise up as DIVAS, is because imagine the atmosphere in your home, in your work environment. If a woman wasn’t constantly, second guessing herself, wasn’t constantly acting as an atmosphere in your environment that was wavering, you had to walk on eggshells because her emotions were fractured. See, I know we don't like to talk about it. Somebody's got to. We're going to talk about the ugly right now. How many times have you worked with a woman or women who have used their emotions to manipulate a workplace, or manipulate a marriage relationship, or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? How many times have you seen that? I mean, they make shows about it. It's sitcoms, its dramas, it's everything, and it's so well known that the men throw fits about it. Man, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. When women are doing that, a lot of the times it's because they don't feel like they're being heard, and they don't feel like they're being valued. Women, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. When you sit in a room and you roll your eyes, or you huff, or you're constantly asking somebody about something and nagging them about something, whether it be in the workplace or at home (and I remember one of the episodes I said my short name is ANG and in Microsoft Word changes it to nag every time). So, my husband gets the biggest kick out of that, but the biggest thing I want you to realize is all these things that we do, don't empower us. They actually rob us of our power. There's a book out called the Male Factor, and if you haven't read it, it's a great book. I read it several years ago and was just floored by some of the stuff that I had seen in that book and it was written by a woman out in East, I think she's in East Texas, Feldman is her last name. I'll put in the comments, the link to the book, but the thing about this book was she was talking about how a woman who was up for being promoted on an executive team. She was the best candidate for that team, but her attitude with all the other men in the room, had them all on edge. She was completely unaware. She would roll their eyes at them; she would throw a little fit; she would have when they were talking if she didn't find their voice valuable. Here's the thing; none of the guys did that to her when she was talking, but she did that to them. She had worked herself out of a promotion, because of the way she had acted. Here's another story; you know, we had a guy not too long-ago post on our thing, and he was being open and honest with us. As he was talking, it made me flashback to some of our early years in our marriage. See, back in our early days, I wasn't strong. I was really self-conscious about a lot of things. I didn't have any friends. So, my husband would go to work all day, he would come home at night, I'd be worn out from the kids, and I would just be on him the moment he walked in the door. I would want him to help me with this, I would want him to help me with that, I needed him for this, I needed him for that. A lot of the things was, I just needed a girlfriend, because I was asking my husband to be everything for me. Instead of being just my partner that we got our marriage together, we got our kids together. I was asking him to, you know, what do I need to do with this outfit? What do I need to do with this hair? What do I need to do with the kid’s party? What do I need to do with all these different things, and I was constantly wearing him out? So, when we're talking about the sisterhood, you need girlfriends, you don't have to have; there's women out there that will have 25-30 best friends, and then there's people that are more like me that has just an inner circle of really close friends. Then each circle of friends grows out and out now, and there's flow between each of those. There's different seasons that some girlfriends are closer than other girlfriends, but we all need a DIVA in our life. We all need those women that are walking in their purpose. They know they're calling; they know where they're going. They're know how they're getting there. They don't need a map. They don't need a GPS, because they are in tune with where they're going, and they are encouraging and inspiring so many others to do the same. So, my question to you is, what are you going to do with the DIVA? Are you helping raise DIVAS? Are you a DIVA? Are you on the road to being a diva? because let me tell you, I'm not talking about coming in here and being some pretentious person and demanding things of everybody else. What I'm saying is you start blazing the trail for others to follow and for others to be like you. So, I want to share with you today about a girl that's helping me be the DIVA that I am and really one of those that kind of sticks that stick at me, that “poke don't poke the bear.” She kind of just pokes the bear every once in a while, and her name is Kim Slater. She's today's EVERYDAY DIVA, and Kim is one of those that will ask a question and leave me going, but wait a minute, I didn't want to talk about that right now. She does it in such a unique way, in such a unique fashion to help me grow, and every time it sets me on a new level of growth as we go. The other part that I love about Kim is we've got our logo behind us and our logo is the Warrior DIVAS Impact; Warrior DIVAS logo, Real Talk for Real Women and she's done our logos for our companies and puts together our magazine that's coming out. So, she is our creative genius behind things. She doesn't feel devalued by coming in and working in talking with me and helping things. She embraces that, because her mission is the same mission as ours. Her mission is to reach women and help them on a path of wellness and health mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually equipping them and empowering them. So, we married together very well. Now if she wasn't on that same path, we may be acquaintances, but because she's on that same path with us, we are able to do so much more and be so much more and reach so much more, because she is in tune with what our mission is. So I want to encourage you as you start looking at our social media over the next week to learn about Kim, know who she is, if you have any graphic arts design work that needs to be done, if you have projects for that she is the one that we recommend for what we do and she will help you with that 100%. She is amazing at what she does, and I can't wait for you to see the magazine that we're putting out. So, if you want it online or in print, either one and you can also subscribe, you can subscribe to that you can also submit articles to the magazine for future volumes of it. So, there is a lot there is always a lot that we have going on here. And the best way to stay connected with us is through our DIVAS Impact Inner Circle on Facebook. You can also stay tuned with us at DIVASImpact.com. Our podcasts are up there, news about the conferences up there, the magazine will be launched there, and I just want to remind you this time next, this same channel this time, next time we will be here on the podcast. And I'm your girlfriend, Angie Leigh Monroe. Talk to you next time. Bye

Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women and I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I am excited to be here this week. It's kind of a crazy crazy week because this is the week, as I'm recording this right now, we are actually launching our previous shows. So, let me just tell you something, if you ever want to be challenged and push to your limits, to say I want to launch something massive in 30 days, and then do it. Because, oh my goodness, the sleepless nights, the waking up in the middle of the night to jot down an idea, the technology crashes that happened in my laptop's gone down, I tried to do a Facebook Live earlier between my pages and my group, it made it to the event page, but it didn't even make it to the other pages that we were trying to do it too. So, let me just tell you, all you can do during these times is just breathe. That's what we were talking about here in the studio right before we started today is just breathe, I have an Apple Watch, it tells me all the time to remember to breathe. Normally, I'm just going to “stop it, stop it, stop it stop telling me to breathe.” But I'm starting to embrace the goodness to be reminded to breathe. So today as we get started, I just want to remind you about our conference coming up in October; October 11 and 12th, it's going to be in Grapevine, Texas, and it's going to be a wonderful time for us to come together. It really just takes off some of the things that others have put on us and find out who we are behind all the masks we wear every day. So, our conference is called Unmasked, and we are going to be revealing some new layers of each woman that comes to that conference. We're just going to have a great time of tuning in to who we are, what we were created for, and how we can walk boldly and confidently. But today, I'm going to start off again, reminding you that I am Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am your girlfriend. So, I talked about that probably a couple of episodes ago, where I want to be your girlfriend. It's not because I need friends. It's not because I have a lot of bandwidth for a lot of deep personal relationships. But I want to be your girlfriend because I want to be able to talk realistically with you. I want to be able to talk about tough stuff with you. The last week, there's been a resounding theme going on with the women I'm talking with and I felt it important to approach this subject today. Because if it's bubbling up that often in conversation, it means people aren't feeling connected to a solution for that problem. So, I've had several women coming to me talking about feeling overwhelmed, and I think what we do a lot of the times, like I said, we started the show talking about starting this podcast 30 days ago and getting launched and getting going and, and trying to get it all worked out, but that overwhelm that comes with all of that is, this isn't the only thing I'm doing. You know, I have the Warrior DIVAS podcast, but I have the DIVAS Impact and Veteran DIVAS underneath that. I have a conference we're putting on, and I have Mike, speaking and coaching, and a training business that I do, consulting business that I do. So, I'm trying to get clients for that and work through clients that I already have for that, and we also own a plumbing business. Oh, and I have a husband, and I have kids, and I have grandchildren, and I've had a couple of funerals. Well, I've had four or five funerals this year, we've had to go to that we're family related. So, I mean, there is a lot that comes on and you start checking off the list of getting things done, but the list keeps growing as you're trying to get it done. And what I'm hearing from so many women is they feel like they're failing. They feel like they're not succeeding, they feel like they don't have time to rest, because there's so much to do. And one of my friends was talking to me the other day, she's recently recovered from a drug overdose, and she is a lifelong friend that's had a few problems down the road and had this drug overdose. We were just talking after she came out of recovery, seeing how things were going. And she said that she absolutely loved all the things she could get done while she was in her manic, high stage on the drugs and part of that was she felt super productive, but what she didn't realize is when those drugs wore off, and she crashed for a day or two, or a week, she was losing productivity. So, the same amount of work and effort could have been done along the hall if she had just taken time and periods of rest along the way. So, I'm going to throw some valuable stuff at you, you know, they talked about on the seventh day God rested, he created the earth six days and he rested. When we go into tilling soil and working the land farmers will tell you that every seventh you've got to give the land rest for it to be productive. So there's something about that seventh day and I know a lot of people right now they've got kids that play clubs, sports, they're constantly going, they're working just as hard at the church on Sundays, as they are at their jobs the rest of the day of the week. And then they have sports and all that stuff on Saturday. They're constantly going, going going, but they never slow down. See, we were the that family. Back in the day, we were at church every time it was opened. My kids, we had sports, my son played select baseball, we had other adopted kids that were always going to and doing things, my daughter was on the drill team and cheerleader. My other one was a trainer that worked with all the athletes. So, we were always trying to go places and be there to support them. Take drinks, do parent duties, all that good fun stuff and it gets exhausting, it really does. You work. At that time, I was going in at seven o'clock in the morning, leaving at seven o'clock in the evening and answering texts and emails to all hours of the night because I wanted to be that good employee for that job. But I was sacrificing time at home with my family. So, on the weekends, and when I did have time available, I was trying to be all in and be supermom. How many of y'all really tried to be super Mom, you know, and try and do everything, but I kept getting sick. So, what was happening was if I wasn't stopping to rest my body, my body was stopping me, and I had no control over when it would stop me. Because I was so tired, so worn out, so exhausted, so depleted, that I couldn't give to myself, or the ones I loved anything. Now, I know this is an analogy that's heard a lot, especially in the Christian arena, is to serve from your overflow. So, imagine you've got an old antique teacup and it's sitting in a saucer. You know, a lot of times what we do is we pick up that cap and we start giving, you know a little bit of sip to our family, we give a little bit of sip to work, we give a little bit of sip to volunteer duties, we give a little bit of sip to our parents that are aging, we give a little bit of sip to our siblings because they need a hand right now. We give a little bit of sip to our neighbors because they need a hand right now. And we go to take a drink out of our own tea cup, and there's nothing there. So, what we need to focus on, and this is our challenge for this episode is taking care of ourselves. Finding that time to pause, push, reset, renew our mind, renew our spirit, renew our ability to think straight, because quite honestly, when you get in that frazzled state, and I've been there the last few days you get in this frazzled state and you start missing things, you start missing connections with people, you start missing deadlines and details that need to be paid attention to on a timely basis. So instead of filling that teacup up and giving everybody else's sip out of that teacup, let it overflow, let the picture of what's coming into you pour into that cup for me. It's my walk with God, it's my quiet time. It's my devotional time, it's my ability to tune in to what God's purpose is for my life and just listen to him for what's next. You know, so I turn that picture up, I say, okay, fill me. And then instead of letting everybody sip out of my teacup, it's now pouring out onto the saucer. I am full, I am refreshed, I am energized, and now they can have an endless supply too. Because as I keep tapped into what my calling is and where my purpose is, then the overflow continues to fill out. So, I told you, I did a lot of work for my church, I worked for the church, I volunteered for the church. And I had been doing it for many years, and my friend Carrie Gant told me it was time for me to take a rest, take a sabbatical. Now sabbatical sounds like a scary term, whenever you're like, Oh, I can't work. I can't take time off work. But here's what you can do. You can start scheduling time, in your schedule for yourself. If it's getting up early in the morning, yes. I’m going to be real here if it's getting up early in the morning, so, you can sit quietly with your thoughts, so that you can be more organized for the day, do it. If you're going 90 to nothing and you look at your calendar and you don't see any time any day or any time in any day that isn't scheduled. set an appointment with yourself. Go to the beach, go sit by the pool, go to a park, go to bed. Some of you just need to go to bed because you're that tired and you're that grouchy. I'm telling you, yesterday, my husband, my assistant, Donnie who helped us launch the show, they got to see the real me yesterday and it wasn't pretty. I was tired. I was grouchy. I hadn't felt good. I had a stomach bug last week and I just hadn't bounced back yet. So last night, I still had things to do, but you know what I chose to do, I chose to put myself to bed. My mom used to be a babysitter when we were younger. So, she would help supplement my dad's income, and we had a little girl, her name was Jody. She would come over to the house and she would do something and get in trouble, and as soon as she got in trouble for something, she'd say it's time for my nap. You know, and that has been such a great reminder for me, throughout my life, that anytime I'm getting overwhelmed anytime I'm getting hangry, anytime I'm getting too tired or too grouchy to be with anybody that I don't even like myself that I need to remind myself, it's time for me to rest. It's time for me to take that now. So, my advice this week to several women because I know what they were doing, and I know what they were trying to accomplish and wants to find time to rest. I know many people say well, I just don't sleep well at night. Well, there's lots of ways that you can help yourself with that. There's the herbal supplement, melatonin. Some people that works great for, some people, it doesn't work at all. There's counting backwards, as long as you stay focused on the counting. It'll help. There's playing the sound machines in your room to help calm you and peacefully take you away. There are reading books, but the one thing you need to stop doing is, stop getting your energy raised by looking at Facebook, and watching TV and doing all the electronic things right as you're trying to go to bed. Now, I'm not going to sit here and lecture to you all the time today. But what I want to challenge DIVAS on this week is finding time to rest. I want you to flood our social media with the opportunities you're taking to rest. I want you to send me a picture of how you're resting, how you're relaxing, how you're renewing your mind, how you're feeding yourself, because this is important. If you can't invest in yourself enough to rest so that you can be the best of the best for your family and your loved ones. How will you ever invest in yourself to move forward and walk more boldly and confidently towards your goal? See, we're still talking about mindset here. If you're going to tell me that you can't do the resting because you've got so many responsibilities on your plate and there's so much that has to happen, and your job requires you to be there, and all these things. Let me remind you that if you don't take care of yourself, you will not be there to take care of that. So, I really want to focus on this today with you. I really want you to find ways start making lists of things that help you rest and relax, whether it's getting a massage, getting your nails done, going and getting a pedicure, some of those. Some of you even get frazzled getting those things done, because it takes time and you just don't have the time. I want you to start, we're going to have everybody see this like the plank challenge. Everybody sees all these other challenges out there. If you say you don't have the time, I want you to schedule just five minutes, five minutes of something you want to do, something that you are finding that will energize you, get you excited, and help you renew. Then the next week, I want you to put it to 10 minutes. And we're going to work on this week, by week, by week, by week, five minutes, 10 minutes, the next 15 minutes, until you’re getting at least an hour a day and we're going to work this up. After we hit the hour mark, we're going to boost it by an hour. Because you'll need start working this into having a full day of rest once a week. Yeah, it can be done. My kids used to get so upset with me because I would look at their schedule. If we had Saturday games, I would make sure that our Sunday games had the had the whole day blocked out. So whatever day of the week that we had the most activity on, I tried to find a day that we could block out, sometimes it wasn't a full day, sometimes we had school and work and all that stuff. But we made a commitment on Thursday night to come in, unplug from everything, and just be quiet, have family time. It's really not a huge challenge unless you make it so. My daughter's boyfriend was talking to her not too long ago and she was talking about feeling the weight and the pressure of all the responsibilities she had at her work, and she couldn't take time off for this or she couldn't take time off for that. And her boyfriend who works in management for another company, he told her; he says, “you know, the best advice I ever got was this company was standing and running before you got here and it'll be standing and running once you leave.” And it took the weight off his shoulders, to not have to dig deep for every little thing, didn't mean that he didn't do his job with excellence, but he didn't carry the weight of the whole company. See, when we say things like that. Now I'm going to touch back on another episode. When we say things like that, what we're saying is ‘I'm being held hostage’ and that kind of puts you in a victim mindset. And we're not victims, were victorious, the V in Warrior DIVAS stands for Victorious. So, if you can say I'm responsible for everything, I can't have my own life because I am committed to this job so much that I can't have my own life. So today, I want you to start putting in your calendar, five minutes for the next week that you can carve out a day for yourself five minutes a day, you can carve out for yourself. The next week, I want you to go ahead and schedule before anything else gets on your schedule, scheduled 10 minutes a day that you can put to yourself. These are things that you put on your schedule and they never get taken off; they may get moved to different parts of the day, but they never get taken off that day. We're going to work this up to being a weekly thing that we do on a weekly basis to where you have at least a day that you take time you rest, you renew your mind and you set yourself up for success. Now this is going to look different from for each of you. Some of you want to go on a hike. Some of you want to go on a walk, some of you just want to just read a book. Some of you would just like to sit in peace and quiet because you've got little ones around the house making noise all the time, and that's understandable. But whatever it looks like for you, we want you to get onto our DIVAS Impact page, start sharing pictures of it and encouraging other women out there to do the same. Tag us with tags like #DIVASRest, tag us with tags, like #BeADIVA, #MakeAnImpact using those hashtags. Those are ways that you can help us spread this word to help other women. This is not about me sitting behind the microphone and telling you what to do. This is about us empowering and equipping a global community of women and we need all of you invested in this. Now, somebody asked me the other day how I get so much done and part of it was I had to submit to myself, I had to give myself some rest. I had to give myself over to have somebody else, look at my schedule, look at my blind spots, and help me find those times for slowing down. That brings us to today's EVERYDAY DIVA. See today's EVERYDAY DIVA is Candyce Evans. Candyce is my right-hand girl. She grew up with my daughter. When she was looking for a job last year, I said, I've got some help while you're looking for a job. Let's see how this works, and she has literally come in and helped streamline what we do here. She keeps everything on point, she keeps me on task and because of that, I have been able to step back and breathe. I don't schedule any appointments; all my appointments go through her because she knows my calendar. She knows what the plan is. She knows what we have coming and then she also, is fiercely protective of my family time and my quiet time. Because she knows that I not only have my daughters that live at home, I have a son that's in the military, I have grandchildren that live at home with us, and I have another business. And that time with my husband that we get so seldom together, just the two of us is vitally important. But you know what? The other part is, is Candyce is going to school right now. Candyce is working a job. Candyce is a wife. Candyce is a mom. So, what she's having to figure out now is how to balance it all for herself. And, I don't believe that there's a work life balance people, I believe that there's an ebb and flow to life, there will be times that are more chaotic than others. But today Candyce is my EVERYDAY DIVA because she is already putting into play, steps to protect her quiet time and protect her family time, and she's doing it at a young age. I am so super proud of her for doing that, and so as we continue, as we do these things, you'll see Candyce at events and things like that. Now I want you to challenge her and ask her how she's resting and I want you to again, go out there and share those pictures of how you're finding them time to carve out each and every day for the rest that you need to be productive, to be a diva, and to make an impact. So that's going to be our show for today and I look forward to seeing those pictures on our page. And don't forget to connect with us on DIVAS Impact Inner Circle on the Facebook page as we get to continue being a diva making an impact. The choice is yours. See you next time. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host, Angie Leigh Monroe and we are going to have a fantabulous show today, but before we jump in, I do want to take a moment and invite you to join us for our DIVAS Impact conference | Unmasked, October 11 and 12th of this year 2019. In Grapevine, Texas, it'll be an amazing time with other DIVAS like yourself as we come together, and embrace our femininity and walk more boldly and confidently to the future that lays out there for us. So go to our website, divasimpact.com and you can learn more about the conference and reserve your tickets here. Now, when we launched DIVAS Impact, we knew there were some amazing women out there doing some phenomenal things and we also knew that there were some women out there that didn't feel that they were entitled or worthy of phenomenal things happening to them, and so we really wanted to focus on how do we help those women that don't see their worth, don't see a path of hope and future for themselves? How do we get them to see that a lot of times I sit across from a woman and I can sit there and I can pull out so many amazing things that they've turned a blind eye to, it breaks my heart, and a lot of times that comes from a tragic event that happened in their lives, or maybe even a series of events that have happened in their lives that they just have not been able to get over. So we accepted the mission. You know, back in one of my episodes before I talked about I like challenges. So I accepted the challenge, because there was this one time, not at band camp. But when I was in the military, that we had an exercise that I had to do. And you know, when you go into the military, you got to know how to do sit-ups, you got to know how to do push-ups, and you got to be able to run. But one of the things that our company commanders used to have us do was we would do sit-ups locked arms. And what they did was have us do them locked arms, so that we could build up not just ourselves, but build up each other, because what would happen after that is if we had a sister that was in our Squadron or our squad that wasn't as strong as the rest of us. First off, we were helping her up doing that, but what would happen when we got done is we would go back to our rooms, and we'd help her get stronger at sit-ups. So the next time it would be easier for all of us, right? Well, that's what we're going to focus on today. Right, we're going to focus on how to help you be stronger, so that we can all be stronger together link arms and be stronger and walk boldly and confidently together, you hear me say that over and over and over again. Because there are too many women pulling back from where they're called to be. I'm not saying everybody deserves to be in the limelight. I'm not saying everybody is called to be in the limelight. What I'm saying is, is whatever you are purposed for it is there and waiting for you, and we need you doing what you're purposed for. So I realized that some of what I'm about to talk about may not be something that everybody will be receptive to at this time. You may hear this and you may be like you do in church; sitting there, thinking of somebody else that needs to hear this message, but you may actually be the one that needs to hear it right? I have never done that. Not at all. I never think of somebody else who needs to hear a message. Now, honestly, I think my husband needs to hear every message I hear in church, but I am the perfect little Angel. Not. But here's the deal. I'm sharing this today because if it impacts just one person, then that starts a ripple effect and that ripple effect can change everything. So today, are you ready? We're going to talk about the victim mindset. How many of you out there know some people that play the victim really well? I mean, I know some really good victim players, right? And I often wonder what brought them to that place. Of course, I never thought about that until I stopped being a victim myself. We talked in one of my previous episodes about being attacked. We talked about me being sexually assaulted, we talked about my drama instructor, you know, saying words to be in those things were bad in themselves in different ways. But as they built up, and I started believing not only what they said, but some things that other people may have said, trying to make me feel better about myself or they said it in the wrong tone. How many of you have ever said to a student, "you'll never amount to nothing if you don't do your homework." You know, I've had teachers tell students that and the students don't hear the, "if you don't do your homework", part; what they hear is, I'll never amount to anything. So here's what we need to focus on. We need to focus on what we're speaking into each other's lives because we are layering on to that victim mentality already. Now here's the challenge. Some of us get really addicted to being a victim. The benefits of being a victim. Yes, there are benefits to being a victim. People walk on eggshells around you, you don't have to accept responsibility for anything. Others give you the attention and feel sorry for you. And do you feel justified and complaining and not having to take responsibility for anything that has happened because after all, you know, you could fill in this blank. If blank, blank didn't happen, then I would be in such a better place. You could say, if I wasn't molested by my grandparents, if I wasn't raped by that stranger, if I wasn't stolen from by my coworker, if my husband didn't leave me, if my kids didn't wreck my body, I'd still have a perfect 10 figure, whatever you want to use to play a victim. And I have heard every one of those excuses for women before. You can all use them to play yourself as a victim. Now recently, I heard Charlene Johnson use the term ‘Choose Your Hard’, and I think it's my new favorite quote, choose your hard! I've heard it before. But this time it stuck. So choosing your hard means choosing the hard you're willing to live with. So if you're a person who's been victimized, you can choose your life to be one of hardest, where you're constantly having to be reminded of your victimization as you tell the story over and over and over again. So you can manipulate people's sympathy, or you can choose another path. But see, trying to accomplish things in a victim mindset is like trying to run a sprint or pulling an anvil, you will get there. But the energy and the effort it will take will more than likely wear you out. So what's the other choice. The other choices to clean house, go to counseling, join a group that helps walk through some of the things you're talking about, and begin peeling back the layers and I do mean layers. So a few years ago, my oldest daughter had just had her twins, my son was off in the army, we had a lot of things going on in our lives. And for about a year I had been what I call, stuffing and suppressing, and if you think in cartoon figures like I typically do, because I'm kind of animated in that way, but you lift up a carpet and you start sweeping things under, it stuffing and suppressing them. Stuffing and suppressing them, well eventually, that carpet that's in the middle of the room you can't see over because you've swept so much underneath the carpet to get to another day. As you all know I like Scarlett O'Hara from the movie Gone with the Wind. So that fiddle DD I'll deal with that another day, that procrastination mindset. So, I was doing that over and over and over again. I can't deal with that right now I've got to deal with this emergency. I can't deal with that emotion right now. Because I've got to deal with the emergency right here. I can't deal with this because I've got to deal with this, and what was happening was I was starting to feel anxiety build up. I was starting to feel tension build up, I was starting to lose sleep, my hair was starting to fall out there were very serious things happening in my life, that were a direct result of stuffing and suppressing all of these things. It came to a head one day when I contacted a friend of mine who's a pastor, I said I need to talk to someone. And the sad part was I had contacted her assistant. And I said “that's it. I know, I wrote the policy and procedures on how you get in to see a pastor but I honestly right now cannot remember how to do that, Can you just tell me what I need to do to be able to see be seen by Pastor?” And so Dana sent me back a message and she said, “Pastor Jan will see you at one o'clock this afternoon.” So I went into Pastor Jan's office, and she looked at me dead in the eye and she goes, “Angie, I need you to give yourself permission to fall apart right there.” And I told her, “I couldn't, I couldn't do it.” And she says, “but you need to, you need to be able to fall apart so you can start putting the pieces back together again.” See, I'm one of those tough girls that I kind of have the camouflage victim side of things, right. So, when I worked at the church, there was one time I'd go to my friend Kim's desk and I was a little mad. No, let's rephrase that. I was a lot mad. And when I get mad tears to form in my eyes, how many of you women out there have that happened to you? You get so mad, those tears start coming. And then you get madder because you feel like your emotions are defying you right? SO MAD! I've got tears in my eyes, I go to my friend Kim's desk, another girl there her names Althea she goes, “Okay, I'm gonna let you go. Somebody's broken Angie.” Because so many people were so unfamiliar with seeing my emotions. But see, sitting in that chair that day with my friend, Jan. I knew that if I fell apart, that there might not be enough daylight hours left for me to put myself back together to go on with my next day. So, she recommended a group to me and told me, I should probably get some counseling. I did both. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Now I will admit when I walked into the group. And when I walked into the counseling, I was like, sup? I'm here. What do you want me to talk about? And they're like, Well, what do you want to talk about? I'm like, no, ask questions, I'll answer and they're like, that's not how it works. So I started this class, and it's called mending the soul. And if you have one in your area, I highly encourage you to go to it. They're done in small groups. And if you need information on how to be a part of a group like this reach out to us we’ll help you get in touch with it. But in this meeting the soul, I'm going to probably give the worst, if not the best advertisement for this type of crew. Yes, it's a dichotomy. So in this class, you walk in, and they give you this book, and they tell you that the first five weeks will be like going through chemotherapy. Lovely, I've got enough problems in my life, I don't need a terminal illness on top of all of this, that they said after five weeks, something will shift. And you have to want that shift more than you want to be in out of the five weeks that you’re in. So for five weeks, I walked in clinging my book to my chest, knowing that the things that I wrote in there, the things that I had revealed about myself, the things that were started the layers of the onion that were starting to peel back, were very raw, very truthful, had been very hurtful, and had victimized me and held me back for years. But let me tell you about Week Six, I've got that book, I've got it up in the air. And I'm going “you know what, this is my story, and this is how I will help other people. Because I've walked out of this muck now, with the help of all these people in this room with me, I've walked out of this muck, and we can accomplish anything we've set our mind to now.” So remember, I often tell you, my name is Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am your friend. But as your friend I simply cannot let you walk away, stay in life as a victim because I know you were created for so much more. See, here's, here's the deal. If you're a victim out there, in using this victim mindset, you may not even recognize it in yourself yet, that maybe this is a seed to start opening your eyes to seeing how many times you're telling the story of what you went through. You know, there's a difference between telling the story about what you've been through and parking your RV there and then building up around your RV. I mean, come on, you cannot stay part in the place where your greatest tragedy happened. Because you were destined for so much more than that. We talked about girlfriends in our last episode, and as your girlfriend, I want to come and get you out of that RV USA. Let's burn the RV to the ground and get you a mansion. You know, speaking figuratively, I think I have to put that out there because somebody will be calling me and telling me they want me to build them a mansion. But that's one of the things we would eventually love to do with our organization is we would love to build homes for people that are walking out of these dark places that we are helping them walk out of. So as a victim, you have a choice. You may have not had a choice at the moment that you were victimized, but once you walked away from that act that victimized you, you have a choice. And that choice is right here in front of you today. Do you stay stuck, tied down, anchored down by that act that happened to you? Do you choose to be free? I'm telling you, several years ago, after going through mending the soul and the counseling and all that stuff, it was literally six months of it? It was a hard six months. But I would much rather go through six months of counseling than 25 years of torture from what had happened to me. And that six months of counseling freed me up on multiple levels. And there are still days today that I'm finding multiple other ways that I'm being freed up. So one of the things because I was attacked from behind, I was afraid to put my back to a door or an opening always set with my back against the wall. I had been out of counseling for about a month when I went to a conference and I'm sitting there with my back to the front door of the hotel, facing the wall, and all I could do was start laughing. There was an overwhelming joy to watch what was happening, an overwhelming peace that came about upon me right there. Because I knew that I wasn't living and walking in fear. It didn't mean that I wasn't still alert and aware of what was going on in my surroundings. I had situational awareness. But I wasn't consumed by the fear that was dictating what I could and couldn't do. You know, one of the funny things I'm going to say right now it's funny, haha, funny not. And there's a challenge with a lot of people over moving and losing weight and getting healthy. And if you can see the video of this, you can see that I'm not at optimal health and optimal weight, but I'm working on it. The reason I'm working on it is I've realized that I've allowed past emotions to hold me hostage and make me feel like I didn't deserve to be skinny again. How stupid is that? I know all these things. I've been to counseling, I've done all this stuff. It's just another layer. And I'm not trying to compare myself to anybody out there. And I'm not trying to be skinny mini or supermodel thin or any of that stuff. I'm trying to be healthy so that I can enjoy my lifestyle. But I got to peel back another layer of that victim mindset that I'm not worthy because somebody in my past had told me I wasn't worthy. See, people look at me all the time. And they're like, ‘Wow, you're so strong. You're so powerful. You're so confident You're so this, you're so that.’ That's great, but I have heard so many women talk about the imposter syndrome. And the imposter syndrome can normally be tied back to a moment where you felt like you had lost control of something of victimization of some sort. It doesn't even have to be a crime that you were victimized by. It could have been harsh words from somebody. So do I still get attacked? Yes, I do. Do people say negative things to me, you bet your sweet bippy, they do, but I'm not tormented by the opinions of others anymore. I get over it. It's like a water off a duck's back anymore, it does not have a place to take root anymore. Because see what I went through mending the soul. When I went through the counseling when I kept peeling back those layers, what do the gardener's call it? Weed n feed, I have been a weed n’ feeding my garden. So I pulled all those negative roots out and begin nourishing myself with positive things, and positive influences positive people, positive relationships, positive words of affirmation, and just even my faith, and that begin to grow in me and helped me accomplish bigger and better things. I'm not accomplishing them by myself. As I grow, there are other people around me that are growing up with me and I love that. I love being challenged by them too. It wasn't a couple of weeks ago that I'm going to out her but my assistant basically told me that I was being the slow car in the left lane. You know, if you don't know what the slow car in the left lane means it means the left lane is the fast lane and trust me, I drive in the fast lane. But apparently at that moment, I was letting some things that were internally holding me back and she needed me to be at another level so that she could go to that level too. So be careful because if you're holding yourself back, you may be holding others back and they may be looking to you to accomplish so much more. Now today, for our EVERYDAY DIVA, I'm going to tell you about Amy Modglin because her nickname is Doc Perky. She was a US Navy Corpsman. She is the President and CEO of the Magdalene Modglin leadership solutions, and let me just tell you guys that have a man cave, this girl can put your man cave to shame. She is a huge Boston sports fan, Red Sox patriots, Bruins, you name it. She's a bed and a huge fan of baseball, and she had always had a dream of playing on Fenway, right. So in 2016, she went out and she actually became part of their family, the fantasy team that they did for women, and she has just been added as the newest member of the International Women's baseball center. She's on their board of directors now. So, she is making great strides for women in areas that women weren't ever even thought of being. But see, here's the thing that you don't know about Amy. Amy has been battling cancer for a while. Even in the middle of taking her chemo pills and all the things that she does for that. I think she still runs every day. Some of the medicines that she had helped take away some of her hearing. So she reads lips because she's deaf. But she makes everybody that walks in a room feel welcome. She's engaging, and unless you knew that she was deaf, you would not know that she was deaf. See, she could play the victim role so well because of all the things that have come up with the come up. Boy, that sounded real proper didn't it? Everything has come up against her. But she is a shining example of a woman that I put up there on a pedestal, not to idolize her, but to say, wow, I get to join arms with a girl like her. She's part of my John Maxwell team with me and we love having fun together. So go to our Facebook page. Look up Doc Perky, learn more about her, what she's doing, because she is phenomenal. And if you have somebody you'd like to nominate for an EVERYDAY DIVA, you can email us at blessed@divasimpact.com but today I want you to be just as diligent as Doc Perky is every day, not to be a victim. If you're ready to walk out of that, we're ready to help you out, our flashlight in our hands. They're on and they're out, ready to walk you out of that dark spot. So thank you for joining us today, and stay tuned for our next episode, and in the meantime, be sure to connect with us on our Facebook page DIVAS Impact and on our website, divasimpact.com. And until next time, this is Angie Leigh Monroe, reminding you to be a diva and make an impact.

Hello and welcome to Warrior Divas Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe, and it's going to be an awesome show today. But first before we jump into how awesome this show is going to be, I want to take a moment and just invite you to our conference in October, October 11 and 12th it's going to be in Grapevine, Texas, and it's going to be awesome. I say, I know I think I've used my quality of awesome for the day, but I'm telling you, it's going to be awesome. We are hosting it. At the Courtyard Marriott in Grapevine, just north of DFW Airport. So it's super easy to get to if you're flying in for it. And it will be a time for us women to come and reveal our inner strength, our femininity, walk confidently and boldly into the future that's calling for us. And the name of the conference is Divas impact unmasked, so it's going to be a great time if you'll go to divas impact.com. You can find out more details there, get your tickets and all that stuff. But now that I've changed you with all that gooey, gooey goodness that I talked about with the conference, and that's something for down the road. But we're going to talk today about some things that have been on my heart to share. So, I'm going to start off by saying, Hello, my name is Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am your girlfriend. Because girlfriends can dish right. So this is important. Maybe Because we need to define what a girlfriend is, when we as women start talking and engaging and, and doing things together, we need to know who a true girlfriend is. So, years ago, I ran conferences, we've talked about that before. I've run conferences, and we pick out games and we pick out things for the audience members to do and things to do between sessions and things like that. One of the games that always got thrown out there was Who's your girlfriend. And so the, the context of this game would be, we would have staged people that would walk through a large crowd of women talking to several with something on their teeth, or their skirt tucked into the back of their pants, or coming out of the bathroom with toilet papers stuck to their shoe, right? And we would see how many times it took for somebody to tell them that they had something wrong with them, right. But and not only that but how they told him because remember, there's a quote a meme that's floating around out there right now that says, “Be the woman that fixes another woman's crown but doesn't let the world know it's crooked.” So telling somebody that they've got something in their teeth, is one thing, announcing it to the whole audience that's around you is a completely different thing. We all want to be told that we've got something on our teeth like a girlfriend telling me I've got lipstick on my teeth, or a brand saying you know, your shirts not fixed right or your tags sticking out. That's fine. A lot of times they'll just come up and discreetly fix it. They won't necessarily even tell me that it needed to be fixed. Those are some strong, strong girlfriends right there, right? But sometimes we need to know who's not our girlfriend. Mm, I'm going to dig a little bit in some of your lives a little bit and maybe even be a little bit revealing about some of mine as well. But if you have friends that are not adding value in return they're not your girlfriend. We're going to do this a little bit. Bill Engvall dollar right and so here's your sign it's going to be they're not a girlfriend. So if they are making fun of others, putting others down thinking others are less than them and bullying others they're not your girlfriend, because eventually, they'll do that to you. If they're always telling you Yes when you know good and well you should probably be told No, they're not a girlfriend. And if your girlfriend is always bashing on others to you gossiping dishing telling you nasty things about other people, you can be for dang sure they're doing it telling other people nasty, dirty things about you when you're not around. They're not your girlfriends. So some of y'all maybe wanting to push the pause button or move on right now because I may be poking the bear a little bit, but here's the deal. I believe in you, I think you are better than some of the friends that you're surrounding yourself with. I know this because I've had seasons of my life when I've had some not so good friends. Here's another thing. I've had seasons of my life when I've been a not so good friend. So I'm not calling out anything in any of y'all that I'm not willing to face or willing to address for myself or haven't addressed for myself. What I'm doing is helping us get to a new higher level of who we are, what we're called to be. And to do that. We're just going to start to realize what we need to accomplish with our girlfriends. And to accomplish that. I'm going to use a word that's going to make several of y'all cringe. Detox. I know the fitness world has ruined that world. That word for us detox right. So A lot of times we go out, we have buns with our girlfriends, and we're talking and we're yelling shut up to each other and we're calling each other the B word. And we're saying all these other things. Those are little toxic barbs that just start to creep in and start eroding away at our own self-image in our own self conscious. And you may think it's funny and you may instantly you may hate being called it, but you may instantly want to say it to somebody else. Stop. Don't do it. Instead, find something else positive to say. I want to see a show of hands if you're driving. Just one hand will do but a show of hands, who out there has toxic friends in their life. So for those of you who raised your hand, you need to do a detox. For those of you that didn't raise your hand, you're either well far well ahead of the game on this Where you may actually be the toxic friend? Oh, wow. or hang on? Did I just say that? Did I just say that? I'm going to repeat, repeat that again? You are either way ahead of the game if you don't know any toxic people, or you may be the toxic person in most of your relationships. Yikes. See, somebody loved me enough to say that to me a few years ago. And it revolutionarily changed my life. Yes, is revolutionarily a word? I don't know. I just made it up. I think I'm not sure if it goes in the dictionary. I want credit for that work. But here's the deal. detox may be as easy as separating yourself from your friends, finding a new group of friends to hang out with maybe pulling you aside and saying, you know, I need to work on me and who I am and not let other people's outside influence outside mindsets, outside beliefs about who I am and what I can become skew where I'm going. Or it may be more complex if it's your spouse or your boss, or even yourself. So have you ever gotten sick and tired of yourself? I have. I've gotten sick and tired of myself especially when I was early married. I was constantly nagging my husband. Here's a fun little fact about Angie. So I signed my name lots of times when email first came out with an ‘Ang’ well, autocorrect corrects it to nag. And let me tell you, I had automatically become a nag in my marriage. I was becoming a nag constantly. And it wasn't anything having to do with what my husband was doing or anything like that. It had to do with about how I was feeling about myself, where I was going and what I was feeling accomplished in So you have to choose to do better for yourself and for the lives that you want to positively impact. You have to set boundaries for yourself, and what you will allow yourself to be exposed to and set boundaries for how you will allow others to behave. So here's the deal. When my kids were little, you know, I said in one of the other episodes, we had a couple of ways that we would treat our kids when we'd go into places but my husband every time before we got out of the car, he set an expectation for how our kids were going to behave in the store we walked into, he would say, you know, we're going to put our hands in our pockets, and our kids would put their hands in their pockets, and they would walk through the store with their hands in their pockets. They wouldn't touch things. They wouldn't pull things off the wall. They wouldn't do all this stuff. It goes in we're not going to act goofy in here. We're not going to act goofy. So he had them repeat it back to them. They knew from an early age how to walk, talk and behave in public. Now they got a little bit older and some of their pants didn't have pockets on them. So then they got really smart and they're like, but our pants don't have pockets. My husband would go, Okay, then put your hands where your pocket should be. So our kids would walk through the store with their hands where their pockets would normally be and still knew how to behave. How many of us forget how to behave? We see. I've said it before the Kardashians, the Bad Girls Club, The Real Housewives of bad behavior, all of that stuff examples all the time. You can turn on social media and see people bashing people and arguing with people in finding things to get upset and offense offended about and that's not what we're focusing on today. What we're focusing on is detoxing from all that. Stepping back, taking a look, a lot of times we get drilled into that Facebook posts that came up. And we want to argue that point. But as we're arguing that point, we miss out on so much more that's going on around us. There was a post shared the other day that kind of had me concerned for where we were going woman posted a question. I thought it was a really great question. And so I put it on our page and wanted to see what the dialogue was about around this question. And the question was, is there a war on women in this country? You know, to me, that seems like it's a very simple question. But as you dig in, it has very complex ramifications as you begin to answer it. Because you have to identify a couple of things being at war Is meaning that there are enemies on both sides, means you're in a battle, it means you're in a conflict, it means that you're going at any measure possible against the other person. The other part of the phrase was in this country. You know, I know there's a lot of things happening inside the United States right now that women feel attacked over, but we're not alone. There are atrocities happening to women all over the globe right now. And we need to not just get pigeonholed into what's just happening in our own backyard. Yes, pay attention to it. Yes, speak to it, but pay attention to what's going on around the world. Because what we do over here may have a ripple effect for what's happening over there. So as we asked this question, and it came up, it was a loaded question. Not many men commented on it. There were a few though, that had the bravery to comment on this post. And it was amazing how well the men were received in this post. When they came in, we're ready and willing and open to be engaging in the conversation, not argumentative and bashing. Okay? So we had women that came in and they started bashing right away about whatever their political view was, whatever their personal view was, whatever their biblical view was, but those that came in and just wanted to have a conversation. It turned out to be some of the best conversations I've seen in a while. And why is that? Because I took away their defenses. I told them, they had to show respect. They could not argue and show disrespect for other people they had to come in open and honest with everybody. And they can ask questions for clarification, but not to bash each other. So a few days later another friend of mine pet tagged me in another post was a post that I have watched this man and another woman go back to back for a year now over all sorts of polar issues. And the fact is, is a lot of times when we get on these polar issues, we start attacking personally over something that is not personal. We're talking about political views. Now I hear you I can hear it. It's almost like little birds mumbling in my earphones right now. I can hear women going well, women's rights being taken away our personal ok. I can hear you talking about that, but it's a political issue too. So choose to see the person that you're having the arguments with, it's going to get rough out there, it's only going to get rougher and choose your battles. Not every post on Facebook is a battle. Not everything that comes out of Washington is a battle. Sometimes the battle is right in our own backyard. We have had children taken one out of their home and one off the street in the last week. That's a personal battle for these parents. That's not a political battle. That's a safety battle. So my challenge right now, as we go forward with this, is we start looking at who's your girlfriend, who are you doing and walking life with? is I want to challenge you to start identifying what your boundary is? who you're talking with? Who you're allowing to talk into your life? You don't have to all see things eye to eye. If you've got too many people in your life telling you yes and not enough people telling you no, you don't have a good measuring stick to be are sharpening yourself like iron sharpens iron. You have to have the resistance. That's what a detox does. Now, I know there's several of you right now that are probably going, Oh my god, she just went off the rails. I may have, but I'm sick and tired of listening to women fight over symptoms and as never dealing with root causes. So one of the things we're going to talk about in our next episode is about some of those root causes. But today I want to, I want to talk about how we react. Whoo. See, when I was in the office, I was I worked at with a bunch of the guys they kept telling me women need to not react. They need to respond, respond. Well, first off, I got upset because I could see just as many guys going off and throwing a fit just as I could women, but they put the word woman in front of it. Well, today, I'm putting woman in front of it, because that's my audience. That's who I'm talking to. When you use your attitude, and your outrageous injustice for what's going on, to throw at people, you may take them off guard for a minute, but you're building a wall that you're going to have to get through later. So how can we approach this a little bit differently? You know, we've got the horse of Troy, the Trojan horse that came in it was filled with all these people brought in as a gift, and they attacked from inside the Trojan horse. How can we Be a Trojan horse, to shift things in this country and around the world for women? We do it by taking them off their guard. We do it by detoxifying our souls, stop giving money to these organizations and the shows and these things that do nothing but spew hate and anger and divisiveness, and we start finding a way to mend the way. Now, I have organizations that I'm part of that I don't see 100% the way they do, they don't see 100% the way I do, and that's fine. Because what we are focusing on is, what our commonalities are, and how we can move forward together to make a better cause. So, in that post the other night when my friend asked me to comment on his post, I got a little serious with him. I told him that I was sick and tired of everybody talking about the symptoms, instead of dealing with the root cause issues. So this is my vow to you as we build out this podcast is we're going to talk tough talk, we're going to talk about root cause issues. We're not going to be talking about the symptoms of I have all my girlfriends but I'm miserable. Well, it's because you're surrounded yourself with the wrong girlfriends. Or I have no girlfriends and I'm miserable. Let's because you've shut yourself off from building authentic relationships. Those sound very simple. But I'm speaking from places of healing places of things that I've walked through or helped others walk through. These are not things that I'm pointing out and saying you're wrong, and you're the only one wrong these are ways of me saying, Hey, you know what, I got a flashlight and I see you're in a dark place right now. Let me come into that dark place. With you, and let's walk out of that. So if that's where you think you are in this world right now, you can reach out to us anytime you can reach out to us through our website through our Facebook pages, we are happy to chat with you and connect you with someone that can help you walk out of that dark place. If it's not me, I've got other people in our organization that can help you with that as well. But the first thing is, is I want to be your girlfriend, and I want to be the one that tells you there's a better place for you. There's more for you out there right now. And we want to help you accomplish that. So my question right now is, where do you want to be? And what type of girlfriend Do you want to have? And what type of girlfriend Do you want to be? Those are three powerful questions. Where do you want to be? What type of girlfriend Do you want to have? And what type of girlfriend Do you want to be and hopefully over the next Few weeks, during the podcast, you'll be able to start to realize some of the things that may be limiting you. Or some of the things that may be huge. Or they may just be teeny tiny little things that just a small adjustment will set you on a new course that you had never even dreamed possible. My hope is that as we go through these podcasts that you will start to open up, start to talk with us, follow us, connect with us. Give it to me, give it all to me, some of the good some of the bad, I don't care, beat me up, tear me down. I don't care. Because through all of that what we do is we find our better selves. And we begin to evolve and we begin to identify with each other more. Now one of my favorite people in the world is Our everyday diva that we have this week or this week's everyday diva is Missy Han singer. She's an army wife, she actually worked at the Pentagon, which I think is super cool. And she did some really high tech stuff there that I don't even know that I'm allowed to know what she did because she kind of just doesn't talk about it. But she's one of my inspirational partners. She's also a life coach. She works with several of our women here with the Divas impact team. And she has faced several challenges of her own. She has some health issues, you know, being married to a spouse that's in the military is a challenge. She was a single mom for a period of time before she got married to her husband, Nate now, but you will never hear a complaint coming off her lips. I mean, this woman exudes joy everywhere she goes You will not walk away from her that she hasn't paid you a compliment. I mean, it gets a little. Okay, Missy, you've paid me six compliments today. Come on, it's okay. You know she's that happy and that joyous and she's constantly looking for the good in the people that she engages with to pull that goodness out. So if you get on our Facebook page, you'll see a picture of her you'll hear about her you will know about her. And I just want you to give her some shout outs at the everyday divas posts because she is an amazing person making a positive impact in the global world we live in and so if you'd like to nominate an everyday Diva you can do that if you just email us at blessed at divas impact com you can nominate an everyday Diva to be highlighted on our show and on our social media page. But today I want to thank you for joining us and stay tuned for our next episode. But In the meantime, be sure to connect with us on our Facebook page Divas Impact on our website. divasimpact.com And until next time, this is Angie Leigh Monroe, reminding you to be a diva and make an impact.

Warrior DIVAS Episode 2 Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS Real talk for Real Women. This is your host, Angie Leigh Monroe. I jumped in there just a little bit earlier so you know what, you too, can host your own podcast! It's not that hard people. But today we're going to talk about our legacy project DIVAS Impact. I shared in my last episode about my personal story and, and how I discovered the beauty of friendship and today we're going to talk about how compounding those friendships over the last few years has really built up where we're at today. See a few years ago, like I said, I was working on staff at a church and I had a team of administrative assistants, and I mentored at the church, and our church was going quite well. It was growing in numbers each week and our staff was huge. And there's a lot of people that think working at churches are glamorous, you know, especially if you're in that Christian world, you think, “oh, the best job on the planet is just working for the church.” And let me just tell you, there are real people that with real issues that work at the church and come to the church, you know, I used to leave my purse sitting on the counter with my husband and tell him to watch my purse. You know, he'd go “We're at a church.” “I'm like sinners come to church, you're a sinner, I'm a sinner. There's other sinners that come to church, watch my purse.” You know? Things happen. We can't be naive, so to speak, when just because we're in a church. Right. So I was over a team of admins that I mentored while I was on staff there. And our key phrase was that we were all about people. And I loved that because I was just learning to like people at that time. So, it really helped me stay focused. But what I was realizing was this team of admins that I was over and mentoring and they were worn out, they were constantly doing events to make sure the needs of the congregation were being met. And quite frankly, they weren't feeling like the church was all about people. So, each morning, I would come in a little bit early, and I get on my email and I'd send out what I called a little Daily Diva, right? It was a little morning motivation. It had a verse had a little chapter, small paragraph of things and it had three challenge questions for them to just kind of get motivated, be encouraged, and feel good about their day as they step forward. Well as you would know it, those admins liked it so much. They started telling other admins., and by the time we got done, we I think we had like 12,000 people that we were sending this email to. And we were asked to stop sending it from the church because it was starting to crush the email servers at the time. So, I didn't quite know what to do with that. So, I just pushed pause on it. I was a little terrified at how fast it grew. And how many people felt a connection and resonated with us at that time. So, about that time I had a female friend of mine that was a women's pastor, she came to me and she says, “Hey, we're starting this group called WILD Women and Leadership Development, and we would love for you to be a part of our first class.” I had to work some things out with my boss because we were in such a busy season and he was really stingy with my time. And so, he finally agreed to let me go, I think, his boss meeting let me get go If we're completely honest, but I went to this group, and there were some amazing women in there that were do already doing amazing things. But as we started talking, we started realizing where our purpose was, we started becoming more defined in who we wanted to be and what we wanted to do. And some of the passions that were kind of common throughout our whole life. And we were beginning to learn how to articulate those passions. That's something that's very key. A lot of people are passionate about things, but they don't know how to be articulate about it. So, you can be passionate all you want about puppy dogs and kitty cats. But if you can't talk about why it's important to spay and neuter your pets, be rescued, get a rescue animal instead of from a puppy mill and all that stuff. Then you can be passionate all you want, but your influence and your impact is going to be limited. So, what they were teaching us was how to speak eloquently and impactfully into our areas of passion. I loved that. So, about a week after we finished that class, my boss had come to me and said, “Hey, we need to change up the way we're doing our work here in the office. It's just not productive. We need a better system.” And I agreed with him because it just was not working. So, between the executive director, the director and I, as the coordinator, I had to get the whole team of 25 working in one machine, like a well-oiled machine. So, I talked with everybody, I did surveys, I got it all put together and I was excited. I was going into the office to present my case to the boss, my director sitting to my right, the executive director sitting across from me, I've got my notebook in front of me and I'm all excited. After we reviewed it, my boss leaned back in his chair, put his boots up on the desk. And he said, yeah, if you can't see on the podcast, I'm trying to put my leg up on the table and it hurts but Oh, ok. I think I just pulled something but okay. Anyway, here. He puts his boots up on the desk and he says, “let's just face it, Angie. I'm 55 years old, and I just don't see myself changing.” Can I just tell you something? Months leading up until that time, I was miserable coming to work. I had been throwing up, pulling over on the side of the road, and throwing up every day. I was at the office at 7am to 7pm. Getting texts and emails till the wee hours of the morning we had a big 200,000 square foot campus. We were building. We had satellite campuses. We were renovating. We had an audit going on. We had tax negotiations going on. You name it. We had it going on. We were trying to do a capital campaign there was just so much stress and pressure. And when he said that, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was literally like somebody had reached down from the heaven above and went ‘you are free’, and I guess my demeanor changed because the director that had been sitting next to me and being quiet, the whole meeting, immediately went into panic mode. “Well, let's not let's not make any sudden decisions. Let's not do this. Yeah. Oh, you know,” I'm like, “No, no, no, it's fine. We're good.” I went home that night. I typed up my resignation letter, emailed it in the next morning. And then the chaos began… They had us go back and forth and talk several times I kept trying to explain to people was, it was okay that he said that to me, because I had become complacent. There had been warning signs for a while that I needed to leave and go out on my own and do my thing. But it was much more safe and secure to get that guaranteed paycheck as an employee than it was to step out as an entrepreneur. So, when that happened, it was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Now, when you leave work and that guaranteed paycheck, you better be a little bit more disciplined than you even think you need to be right. I can work in the office and have seven people organize 25 people organized have them all hitting their marks at one time. But for that first month out of the office, I slept, because I was tired, exhausted. But then I had to look forward. Where do I want to be in a month? Where do I want to be in three months? Where do I want to be in six months? Where do I want to be in a year? And to make those things happen? I had to figure out what I was going to do today. So I had to have a huge mindset shift from employee to entrepreneur because as an employee, all I had to do is get up, get dressed, drive into work, puke on the way to work, get to work, do my work, drive home, have a sleepless night while I answer texts and emails and do it all again the next day, rinse and repeat. Being an entrepreneur had me thinking outside the box. I still kept up with my administrative skill set though. I got clients that I was doing consulting work for the church when I left didn't have somebody to help them manage the nonprofit's that were coming in and wanting help and needing help and coaching so they asked me to do that. So, I was doing that, that was great and fine, but I was hiding. Now, I was starting to make a plan then. See 2013, My youngest one was going into her senior year of high school, this is when you start going, “all right, freedom is on the horizon. Carpools, and sporting events, and how many crazy costumes you have to build for all the crazy spirit days in high school, and proms, and homecomings, and all that stuff. I had one more year of it, and then I was free, right?” So, I started booking speaking engagements in June of 2014. And throughout the rest of the year, and I was super excited. I didn't even necessarily know what I was going to talk about yet. It was going to be the first time I was going to be stepping on to a major stage since I'd stepped off the stage in high school. So, I was super stoked. I was still volunteering for women's ministry at the church. We had about 4000 women that gathered three to four times a year and I managed the team of volunteers that that took care of those women. I was super excited about that. But on the other side of it is I was tired of it. I was really kind of over it. I've been doing it for nine years. So August 1, I had lunch with my friend Carrie. We had as we had lunch that day, she was listening to me talk about my hopes and dreams for divas. And she said, “I think he might need to put pink down for a little bit.” That was the ministry I worked for. That said, “You know, I was starting to feel that myself. But I'm not quite sure how to unravel myself from that world.” She goes, “I really think you need to put pink down” She goes, “think about it. Pray about it. We'll talk later.” So I left I have another friend Karen, who had been starting to build DIVAS with me she was editing and getting all the articles together for our magazines and all of that stuff. So, I called her on my way home. “Like you would not believe what Carrie Gant said to me.” She's like, “what?” I said, “she told me she thinks it's time for me to put pink down.” She goes, “Oh my God, thank goodness, I knew you would never let go until someone gave you permission to.” First off, I was a little offended by that because I don't need permission from anybody to do anything. But apparently, I did. So, before I get closed out with Karen, Carrie started calling back again. She had been in with the senior pastor and the senior pastor made a comment about “some of the volunteers you have, have been serving for way too long and they need a sabbatical. They need a time of rest. You they won't take it because they feel an obligation to you. It's your duty to give it to them.” So she says, “Here you are, you're on sabbatical. Bye.” August 1 2013. I got fired from a volunteer position. Now I didn't get fired. I just got put on sabbatical to hopefully come back at another time, right? Well, when you don't know what's in your future, it's amazing how things can be set up for it. Six days later, my oldest daughter called home from college, pregnant. About a month later, the house we were living in, was owner financed. Something fell through with the owners and the house we were living in, was now being taken away. So, we had to be out by about October 29. that same day was the day that my son and my fake son came home and told us they joined the army, and we're leaving two weeks apart from each other; October 29 and November 8th. And oh, yeah, that was also the day that my daughter found out that the baby she was carrying was not just one, it was two. It was twins. Yeah. Talking about hyperventilating moment in the sonogram room. So here we were. Daughter coming home from college pregnant with twins. Sons moving off into the army. Youngest daughter going into her senior year of high school. Homeless. Having to move in with my parents. That's a real bummer. My parents are great. Yeah, we've had on again off again, hurtful things we've all said and done. But that's family. That's just real life. Right? Well, March of 2014, came around the twins were born a daughter experienced postpartum. The one of the babies was not doing so well health wise and had some health issues. So, I thought what is going to be a short six to yearlong sabbatical was still going on in October of 2014, and I didn't quite know how to reconcile that with myself. Until my friend Carrie came to me and said, “Hey, I'd like you to just come to my conference. I'm like, I'm not doing any conferences right now. You know, I'm not volunteering. I'm on sabbatical.” You know, I was so used to people coming to me for what they needed from me that I didn't even recognize that she was just asking me to come to just rest, to just be there, and connect, right? So, I show up at her conference in January of 2015. Remember, I'm just a participant. I was feeling quite good that day. God had pretty much ended my sabbatical on December 31. I was already starting to look at things to get connected to and do and all that stuff. And Carrie goes, “Hey, we want to do social media stuff on the screen.” And then the other girl goes, “Yeah, we want to do the hash brown thing.” I'm like, “hash brown, you mean hashtag?” She goes, “whatever it’s called, we want to do it on the screen and let people post about it and see it on the screen. Can you help us with that?” I'm like “Sure.” So, I whipped out a tag board forum, did all that stuff. Well, the MC couldn't wrap her brain around how to explain it. So, she asked me to step up on the stage and help her explain it. No problem, got up there, did that, stepped off the stage. Few minutes later. I hear her say “ladies, we're about to have worship time if you'll just stand up. You're about to be led into worship.” Wasn't exactly that, but that was kind of the gist of it, and out on the stage steps Al Denson. Now, Al Denson was playing music, the very first time I really had an urge in my spirit as to what I was supposed to be and how was supposed to go with life, right? That I was supposed to have a voice to reach the nations. So, I was floored, and he comes out and he says, “is that how a guy gets introduced at a women's conference.” And I said, “Nope, I got this.” I grabbed that microphone; I step back up onto the stage, and I said, “ladies, I'm going to tell you the very first time God whispered into my heart, with the plan and purpose for me was and the impact that I could have on to this world. It was to the soundtrack of Al Denson playing keyboards. So, if you're ready to go deep with God today, I encourage you to join us right now, as we step into the throne room of heaven.” And I stepped off the stage, sat back down, stood back up because it was worship time, and I looked up there and Alan was wiping tears from his eyes. I just had an impactful moment and didn't even realize it. I just blew right by it. But you know, the next day Al asked me to get up and share my testimony about Embrace Grace, because it was so much better than any commercial that could run, and Embrace Grace was the organization that helped my daughter through her pregnancy and made the church a safe place for her to come back to. So, as I'm standing up there, and walking towards the stage, my feet are starting to feel like concrete. I'm a little hyperventilating, and I share the next three minutes the story of my daughter, and how not only did my daughter, as a baby, save my life, but how two babies saved my daughter's life. And I felt in that moment, something come alive in me. I felt something so empowered in me, like dead bones coming to life, like my skin coming back onto my body again, and whenever I stepped off that stage that day; I knew there were other women out there that I had to go get who were missing out on the calling and the purpose for their life. And that's why we started DIVAS Impact. Now a friend of mine was having a conference in March of 2016. Asked me to be the MC and my DIVAS team. We were managing all the back end of it and everything. And we launched DIVAS Impact March of 2016 in Grapevine, Texas, and you'll hear about it. We have our conference coming up later this year. It's going to be in that same hotel where we launched. It's exciting, but that week of March 16 to 400 women we pushed out DIVAS Impact. And let me tell you at that moment, whoa, it was on like Donkey Kong, okay. In just three short years, social media influences grown to over 90,000 followers. I've spoken in multiple states across the United States. I've spoken in Canada, I've spoken in England, you know, this is something that has opened so many doors and has built such a void in so many lives. You've got our online magazine that we've done a couple of additions of already. Our next one is coming out; it's going to be printed. We have the Warrior DIVAS podcast that you're listening to today. And you know, who we are and what we do is so important. So, when I go to business, networking events and things like that, so many people are kind of turning a deaf ear to women empowerment right now, because they're so sick of hearing it. But here's what I tell people that DIVAS Impact does. I tell people that we empower and equip a global community of women change agents to make a positive impact on the world we live in. We do that by helping them find clarity, overcome obstacles, encounter even more opportunities. And here's the thing when they asked me for more, I let them know that D.I.V.A.S. is an acronym. of our five foundational blocks. D for destined, we seek out women who know who what they're calling is on their lap and are walking boldly and competently in that calling of their life. They know that there's a plan and a purpose for them to be prosperous and free from fear and we embrace those women. But we also challenge those women to reach out and help others be able to walk boldly and confidently so that they can believe there is a future out there for themselves. I, I is for inspired. We want to know who inspires you; who, and what inspires you. It may not even be a who, it may be a what, it may be beauty around you that you see that inspires you each and every day to keep moving forward. What is that? And how can you help pass that forward to other people? V is for victorious. Yesterday you heard me share that I don't share my story from a point of victim. I share my point from my story from a point of victorious, You know? My mission is to help women walk in Victory. I don't want them to walk with a victim mindset. I don't want them to walk, sharing their story from a point of pain. I want them to share their story from a point of victory. We have A, A is for accountable. Now, I told you about my friend Kim on the last episode. My friend Kim was an amazing accountability partner when it came to work when it came to do buying the right gifts for my family and all that stuff. My friend was not the best accountability partner in the gym. Okay, we would get on the treadmill at the gym. And I'd say “okay, how much how much do you want to do? She goes, I want to do 10 minutes, and I want to go with this speed.” And we'd set our treadmills and we get going. About two minutes in she'd go “I'm really done.” I'm like “nope”, my personality is more of a D personality. And my I'd go “no left foot, right foot, but come on. You said you want to do 10 minutes, we're going to keep walking, 10 minutes right?” Now, I have off days, some of you may believe that, some of you may not, but I do have off days, I'd get on the treadmill, It'd be my turn to pick and say “I want to go 10 miles”, and, you know, whatever it is, and about two miles in, she'd go, “how do you feel?” I'm like, “I'm really not feeling it.” She's like, “Great, let's go get chips and salsa.” I had to realize that accountability partners don't always work for every area of your life. So now I help women find the right accountability partner for them for whatever they're working through, and I'm building up teams of other women inside our organization. That can be great coaches in those areas that maybe I'm not so good at. And maybe you resonate better with these other coaches because we have an organization that doesn't compete with each other. We are building almost like a co-op of businesses and when women, and coaches, and consultants that can help you get where you want to be. Now S is for sisterhood, because here's the deal when I was in the military I’ve already told you I was not a very good female soldier, to other females, Navy people and sailors, and soldiers; I just wasn't a good one. But let me tell you, I am now. You mess with one of us sisters, you're going to get us all. That's the way it is. No, no qualms about it. And we are an organization that you cannot turn a deaf ear or a blind eye to, because we are shifting the atmosphere. You won't necessarily see us, you won't necessarily hear us, but you will feel us, and what we're doing in the atmosphere around you. Now, it's called DIVAS Impact. So, we can't leave out the word impact, right? This is my legacy project because I want this to be a ripple effect that goes multiple generational blinds deep, say that real, how many times real fast? Move boo, doo doo the deep; No, it's multiple generational lines deep, right? I want the women of tomorrow to feel the impact of today. I don't want them to have to struggle with body shaming and sexual assault and sexual harassment in the workplace. I don't want women looking at their bodies and using negative self-talk. I don't want us comparing ourselves to the Kardashians or The Real Housewives of bad behavior. I want us to be the change. I, I hear some people call us a feminist group, and I remind them quite honestly that that's really not what we are. We are so much more than that. When I hear the word feminist, I automatically think man haters. And I love the guys, because the guys are going to help us raise up men that are worthy of the women that we're going to be bringing up behind us. So, we are focused on helping women speak and think about themselves and others in a positive way, and that brings about growth. We want women to live boldly and confidently in their femininity and know their true power that they carry with them. I'm reminded of ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’, the mom in there, she tells her daughter she says “the man may be the head of the home, but the woman is the one that turns the head.” We have been living in the shadows for too long. We have been saying that we are not important because of where we are placed. Here’s the deal, we are as important as we allow ourselves to believe we are. This is our time. And I hope you are with me as we are dedicated to keep making a global impact. You can connect with us on our inner circles. And before we get out of here today, I want to tell you about one of our Everyday DIVAS. Each episode, we highlight a special woman who's doing extraordinary things. And many of these women are not household names, but Carrie Gant is our Everyday DIVA this month, this episode, whatever, we're doing this on. And I met her in WILD and she is the significantly solid one in my life right now. She is the one that has helped shape my home to be a place of refuge, my office to be a place of refuge and my soul to be a place of refuge for those that I interact with. She has an amazing design ability. I can look at a thousand magazines and never come up with what she comes up with. I think she put Joanna Gaines to shame but that’s just me. But you will never see her out front, you may even never hear her utter a word. You may see her behind the scenes at some of the events I do because that’s where she enjoys serving. That’s what she enjoys doing and it does not lessen her impact or her ability to do what she does because she is the side wings or the shadows because she is setting the atmosphere for you to be engaged and you to connect with what we are bringing you together for. So today I salute you Carrie Gant as our Everyday DIVAS and I want to thank you for joining us today and stay tuned for our next episode where we share more about our warrior mindset, we are embracing with DIVAS Impact. Be sure to connect with us on Facebook at our DIVAS Inner circle group and until next time this is Angie Leigh Monroe reminding you to be a DIVA and make an impact.

Hello, and welcome to Warrior Divas: Real Talk for Real Women, and I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe. I'm excited about connecting with you today to talk about all the gritty things that impact us, women, every day. Today, I want to take a little bit of time and share with you some of the personal walks that I've come through to lead us to where we're at. But the reason isn't to talk about myself. It's to build a connection with you, see, my focus with this show is not to have a place where I just talked to you when you sit there and listen, but for us to connect offline and online, and really build those relationships together. I'm going to share the hats that I wear, I'm going to share some of the trials and tribulations I've had, and I'm just going to open up and be transparent with you for a little bit. So like I said, I wear many hats. I'm a wife, I'm a mother, I'm a business owner, a boss. Let's see, Diva to my grandkids - Yes, that's my grandma name. Fake Mom to several kids that we've helped raise over the years. There's a lot that I've done. I'm a military veteran. But there are several more hats I'm sure I wear that I don't even realize it. But I bet you as I listed off some of those things, you wear some of the same hats I do, don't you? You know, that's one of the things is building relationships starts with finding commonality. And that's what I'm hoping to do today. I'm hoping that we can build relationships starting right here, right now. You know, some of y'all might be thinking this sounds a little beautifully utopian and very unrealistic. But hear me for a little bit, okay. I've been through some stuff, to know how devastating it can be not to have the right people in your life. How walking through things alone can make things seem 10 times, 100 times worse than they really are. So that's why building relationships is so important to me. See, I was raised in a little hometown, it's a little town called Euless. It's halfway between Dallas and Fort Worth literally 20 miles to downtown Dallas, 20 miles to downtown Fort Worth. My mom and dad met in the local post office. They said they played post office together. And if you don't know what that is, I’ve dated myself, and you need to go to Google it, yes, Google it. So later on, my dad became a police officer. My mom stayed home with my brother, my sister, and me for many years and then went back into the workforce. And when she did, she worked for the government. So, she, they both had their own lives. They were living, I had my brothers and my sisters, and it was a normal raising. My husband, when I met him and he came here he basically called us the ‘Leave it to Beaver’ family. You know, we played outside until dark or my mom whistled. We got spankings or whoopin’s as I call it here in Texas. We played sports and we were at church every time the doors opened. And yes, I was raised in the church. And from time to time, you'll hear me refer back to my Christian faith, my belief, my system that I go back to for my own personal walk. But more than that, you'll hear me talk about my missteps in life and in business, and how I was able to find my way back to my true self. Now, why is it important for me before I go into the next part of the story, I want you to know that I'm not sharing them from a point of shame. I'm not sharing them from a point of bitterness, or victimization. What I'm sharing them from is a point of victory. And that's what I want to help women get to, is that point of victory where they can share their story, and not share it from a point of pain. But from a point of significance, and helping others move on. You know, these are things I didn't use to talk about. These are things that were so painful to me that I had shame surrounding them. I thought everybody else's life was perfect. And mine was a hot mess. And what I found out is as I started sharing my story, other women had the same story. And they had felt alone and they had felt disconnected from others. And so, my hope is by me sharing my story, it's not for you to listen to me, but for us to find a connection. Now, I'm going to start off with high school because it was really the turning point of where I was at. I had been at youth camp I'd had an amazing word spoken into my life that I would have a voice that would reach the nation's and you know, my favorite Christian artist was playing the keyboards. His name was al Denson. It was great. But then life happens. And I was in drama in high school. I was super excited. I had a very tall, very eloquently spoken teacher named Mr. Blankenship for drama. And you may hear a little bit of a Texas accent in my voice today. Do not be alarmed. It is authentic. Okay, so what happened back then, as it was so much worse than it is now. And I came running into the drama room Mr. B, Mr. B, Mr. B, it's about that third B, with the 16 syllables that made up the letter B. That he turned around. And what happened next shook me to my core. He turned his very tall features. Hands clasped at his diaphragm. Feet in perfect third position dancers pose. Come on girls, you know the one I'm talking about the one that everybody stands in for pictures and everything else. He's standing there lips, pursed jaw set and says, “Young lady! as long as you sound like a hick, you will never amount to anything.” Then he quickly turned back around and engaged with the students that he was in class with. I was left there standing speechless, shell shocked. All my hopes and dreams in that one sentence had gone up in a debris cloud that was now left, falling on the ground right in front of me. Along with the shattered image that I had put this man on a pedestal in my life served for so many years. All of that was gone. Now, I'm going to be honest with you right now, back in the day, I didn't see that as very helpful. Today, I know what he meant by that was to encourage me to work on my accent to work on the way I was speaking, didn't even possibly protect me from harm, because there are a set of people out there that will hear my Texas accent and discount my intelligence, because I sound like a hick. Well, that's their loss. But back then, I was just a kid in high school. And the man that I had looked up to had totally wrecked my world. So the next day I marched off the stage into the counseling office and dropped the drama. A few weeks later, I joined the United States Navy, as an aviation electrician. After all, aircrafts don't care what my accents like, right? Now, I bet there's a few of you listening today that may have a similar story. Maybe you've had someone that you respected, you loved, that said something negative and devastating to you. Maybe it gave you the drive to push on. And maybe it defeated you for a minute like it did me. Either way, I would love to hear your story. Because it's these stories that help us climb out of the pits of despair that we often find ourselves in when these things happen. It helps us articulate our feelings and our emotions around those moments so that we can dig deep into who we are and who we are called to be. Now, while I was in the Navy, I got stationed in Rota, Spain. Yes, I was trying to roll my R's there and it totally fell flat. But, Rota, Spain is a beautiful place in the south Mediterranean. You've heard about it on NCIS, you've heard about it on Pitch Perfect three, even though that's not the real base in that movie. I'll tell you that right now. But it was the best and worst time of my life in Rota, Spain. See, when I met my husband there, I like to say it, say it this way in the best Scarlett O'Hara voice and I know that's Georgia but not Texas. But here we go. “I met my husband in Spain just after the war”, doesn’t that sound romantic. Well, it wasn't. So what really happens was the night I met my husband he was falling down drunk in a bar. And literally falling down. He leaned up against the wall next to me, went to put his foot on the wall and leaned over to ask me a question and fell completely face down onto the floor. I have people go “Oh, that's so sweet. He fell for you.” I'm like, Yeah, okay, whatever. Now, not long after that, I was set up on a blind date, my roommate and her boyfriend connected me with this blind date. And who would walk in the room but falling down drunk Mike? Well, a couple of months later, after a few nights together, I got to tell him that I was pregnant and expecting our first child. He asked me to marry him. But I wasn't quite sure that that was the right next move. I really wasn't sure of anything. I headed back to Texas for leave. He headed back to West Virginia. And California, where his main base was, but he was going to West Virginia for leave and I just needed some time to process what was happening. To see what had happened before Mike, as I had been engaged before, to a Christian guy, a marine. And that marine had beaten me, raped me, and left me for dead. And, so, if I could not trust this strong man who sworn to defend our country and be a Christian, to hold up with the values of family and livelihood that was going to leave me feeling like a trash receptacle. How can I trust a man that I've only known a few months with my heart? You know, after that experience, I guess as Joe Diffy said best, my give a darn was busted. I became very promiscuous. And my low had me feeling like a trash receptacle. I had a hole in my broken and battered heart. I had already trusted, had already been defeated. But here, I went to West Virginia to meet my husband, my soon to be husband and his family. So it's Tuesday evening, I landed at the Pittsburgh airport. He and a buddy picked me up and drove me the 40 miles to a small, one light, six bar, four church town. And it's not too long after I walked in the front door. His mom says “so you gonna marry my son?” I said, “well, we're talking about it.” She says “good. I've got the church reserved for Friday at the three o'clock." A bit taken aback but sad to say, I knew my husband well enough to sleep with him. But I didn't know him well enough to say what my feelings were about getting married. And neither did he. I called my mom. My mom said something she'd said to me many times before “you made your bed and now lie in it.” So Friday at three o'clock, I met my maid of honor on the way to the church. I met the guy that walked me down the aisle at the church. And we were married. After a short reception at my husband's cousin's house. We went to his mom's bar. Oh, this is where the party began. Remember falling down Mike, falling down drunk Mike. Yeah, that was him. He was at the bar hanging out with all of his high school friends having a good time. I sat at the end of the bar having Coke, some water, being ignored. And at midnight, my mother in law slammed her fist in the middle of the bar, said “young lady, Grab your husband. I'm closing the bar in two hours. Y'all need to go have your honeymoon.” I ignored her. So she went and told him, Hey, grabs my hand and I walked and he stumbled the two blocks down the street to his mom's house and up to the room and we're getting ready for bed. And by this time, he's starting to realize I'm not real happy. So he asked me “what's wrong with you?” I said, “Well, this isn't exactly how I expected my wedding night to go.” He looked at me and he said, “Well, maybe your next husband can do better. I just don't see us being married in seven years and then rolled over and went to sleep.” I laid there that night. Why he slept and snored. And I accepted the challenge. I'd already walked away from being told that I wasn't enough once, I'd already been beaten down. I'd already had so many other people try and dictate what I could and could not accomplish. This marriage was going to last seven years, whether it killed him or not. So, I want to tell you about the year that I was in the running for wife of the year, it was 1999. And the running was so close right up until May 29th of 99. That was the morning that I jumped up out of bed as soon as the light hit the window, stood over my husband, shaking my finger in his face and telling him, “you said it wouldn't last seven years and I made it last out of spite.” For some reason, they didn't give me wife of the year that year. I don't get it. You know, I repeated that several times over the next several years. Just to remind him how bad he had wounded me. It wasn't a bragging right for me. It was more of a reminding of how bad he had wounded me with his words. Our marriage was falling apart. Several years later, I'd worked many jobs around Mike's job, and he was moving off to Florida, I wasn't even sure if he was coming back, I needed a job. I'd put out over 400 resumes, not one single bite. Finally, I get a call from a company. They had two positions and they were both part times I've got three mouths to feed. You know, a part-time job was not going to cut it. But I do know two things. One, somethings better than nothing. And two, it's always easier to find a job when you already have a job. So, I went to the interview. As I sat in that interview, I use my best negotiation skills that I didn't even know I had, right? So, I'm sitting there with this person, and he's telling me about the mailroom that bills I'm overqualified for the mailroom. Well, yeah, I'm overqualified for the mailroom, duh! But, there's this administrative position that would really fit me nicely, but he feels that might even be overqualified for that because I'm really full, full-time potential not part-time. So I said, Give me both jobs. Let me prove myself. If I prove myself then what's the harm? What's the foul? The little while you can hire somebody else for the mailroom? Because I can guarantee you, you will want me helping out in other areas as well? He did. And that's what happened. While I was there, I had a girl that I got pitted up against for a job position, right. Have you ever worked with a bunch of women I'm up until this point I had steered clear of working with women? I worked in male-dominated environments. I worked aviation, I worked construction. I worked everything around men, I steered clear of women. And I didn't even know why. Until this happened, I was offered a job, given it. It wasn't one that I really wanted. It was kind of like, well, “you'll do” type thing. And I was really like, I really don't want to do it. And they decided to interview this other girl. And then they took the job away from me and gave it to her. But have you ever been around office politics and gossip? Oh, that is just feed for the fodder with them. Boy, that turned ugly quick. And next thing I know, Jill and I are being pitted against each other. So, I asked Jill to lunch. She told me later that she was terrified to go to lunch with me because she was afraid that I was going to beat her up or chew her out or something like that and to be quite honest, I probably would have back in my older days. See, when I worked in the Navy as an aircraft mechanic and aviation electrician. When women came into my shop, I was their worst enemy. They were not going to come in there and just be willy nilly little girl and worry about their nails getting broken or other things like that they were going to do their job better than any of the other guys were or they were going to get out of my shop. I was much tougher on the girls than I ever was the guys. I really saw the women around me as less than. I saw them as being weak. And until Jill told me this, I didn't even realize that I had that vision of them. Now, Jill's the one that opened my eyes to let me know what I was missing out on the most. And that was friendship. Who knew friendship was so important. I'd been busy raising a family, married to my husband doing all these crazy, crazy things, and I needed friendship. A couple of years later, I'm working at my church and lo and behold, another situation. My boss is getting promoted, another assistants, bosses getting promoted, they're getting promoted to like what we call it the inner sanctum. It's a C level suite type of situation. And normally at that point, if your boss was getting moved up, you moved up with your boss. But that position was the position of a personal assistant. I was not a personal assistant, I was administrative, get stuff done girl. Right? I did not know how to play nice with others. When I started at the office, I was already having a problem because they put me in an office with 12 women. I had just started working with women at my last job and now I’m with 12 of them. Do you realize how many personalities we had going at one time, not to mention perfume smells and baking smells and candles, smells, and all sorts of stuff. It was like sensory overload, right? While I was there, and we were going through that transition, I learned something amazing. Gossip just doesn't happen in the workforce. It happens in church offices too. So, I did it again. I took Kim out to lunch. And we were the couple in our offices from that point forward that knew where all the bodies were hidden. We knew all the things that were going on, we knew how to handle things. We were the ones that when things needed to get done. We were the ones called to get them done. But what happened even more than that was Kim and I started hanging out outside of work. Our husbands and I got started getting together for double dates. We started attending our kids' events together. We started building relationships together, we saw the joys, joyous highs, the devastating lows of each and everything that happened in our lives for 13 years. So this is going to bring us to our spotlight today. Our spotlight is called Everyday Divas. And each episode we're going to highlight a woman who's made a significant impact. She may not be a household name, but her impact leaves an indelible mark on each of our lives. And our Everyday Diva that I'm going to talk about today is, Kim Yates. As I said, Kim Yates and I work together, we had an opportunity to be enemies of each other. But we turned that opportunity on its tail and became friends and sisters and connected. Our husbands are friends. Our kids are friends. We loved, challenged, and supported each other throughout many, many years of ups and downs, pregnancies, marriages, deaths, and so much more. And she was my biggest cheerleader for starting and doing the things that I do here with Divas Impact. See, Kim's the one that taught me to see people not just tests, Kim's the one that taught me to look beyond the surface, and to look for what people needed to feel connected. See, Kim has about 40 other kids, as we call them, I call them fake kids, she calls them other kids. And of those 40 kids, they all loved and adored her. And I say loved, because this past Saturday, we laid my friend Kim to rest. You won't ever get the chance to meet her face to face. But in everything that we do from this episode moving forward, our work with Divas Impact, our work that we hope to build for the future. You'll see Kim's touch because of what she has taught me, how she connected with me, how she was willing to reach out with me. So, I want to ask you, what is your touch? What is it that you are doing to make an impact on the world that you're in? Because that's what we're going to be challenging with each week? What is your impact? Where are you going? How are you doing it? Now we have our Divas Impact Inner Circle, and we would love to connect with you there and be real with you there. It's a closed group, you can talk about whatever you need to talk about in there. We're going to be real with each other. We can continue the conversation from this podcast in that group. But you have to be willing to be open and transparent so that you can get the relationship that you so desperately don't even know that you need a lot of times. Wow. So I'm ending this on a bit of a solemn note because I am a little sad about my friend Kim, but I'm so happy that I had the great opportunity to get to know her. Because she pushed me, she challenged me, to get us started on what we're doing today. So thank you for joining us today and stay tuned for our next episode where we’ll share more about Divas Impact, how it started, where we are going and join us in our deepest impact Inner Circle and until next time, this is Angie Leigh Monroe, reminding you to be a diva and make an impact.