Podcasts about i you

The King's Singers - Strawberry Fields Forever (1978) Scratch and sniff! Produced by the late, great Greg Lake.  Bangor Flying Circus - Norwegian Wood (1969)  The Goodship Lollipop - Maxwell's Silver Hammer (1969) Ken Ray Wilemon and Me - Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth)  Bud Shank - I Am The Walrus (1968) Charlotte Dada - Don't Let Me Down (1972) The Girl with the Golden Voice, a title she has more than justified since she started her career with the Uhuru Dance Band early in the 1960s. She also sang with Franco and the Walking Shadows before breaking off as a solo artist, recording with Leader of Uhuru Dance Band Stan Plange and his Experimental Group and the Britain-based group Cool Blaze. Cher - The Long and Winding Road (1973) At 30:50 of this podcast, the bass player makes a pretty big goof.  Ken Ray Wilemon and Me - The Long and Winding Road Ken Ray Wilemon and Me - Old Brown Shoe  Don Randi Trio - Tomorrow Never Knows (1966) Don Randi began his career as a pianist and keyboard player in 1956, gradually establishing a reputation as a leading session musician. In the early 1960s, he was a musician and arranger for record producer Phil Spector's Wall of Sound. He played piano on "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" by Nancy Sinatra and on her albums as well as being a member of her touring band for decades. He performed on the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" and "God Only Knows". His piano can be heard on the Buffalo Springfield songs "Expecting to Fly" and "Broken Arrow". He claims to have played on over three hundred hit records, working with Linda Ronstadt (the harpsichord on "Different Drum"), Quincy Jones, Cannonball Adderley, Herb Alpert, Sarah Vaughan, Lee Hazlewood and Frank Zappa. Doug Parkinson In Focus - Dear Prudence (1969) Fickle Pickle - Maybe I'm Amazed (1970) Ken Ray Wilemon and I - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away Ken Ray Wilemon and I - Here, There, and Everywhere Ken Ray Wilemon and I - I Should Have Known Better  Franck Pourcel and His Orchestra - Don't Let Me Down (1969) Gary McFarland and Gabor Szabo - The Word (1966) Ray Conniff - Hey Jude (1978) Ken Ray Wilemon and Me - Gimme Some Truth  The Koppycats - Things We Said Today (1966) Ian & The Zodiacs were a British Rock'n'Roll and Beat band formed in 1958, originally known as The Zodiacs, in Liverpool, England. The band existed in relative obscurity until relocating to Germany in 1964 where they achieved national success. During the band's three-year stint in Germany, they released three albums under their name, exclusive to the country until their re-release. They also released two cover albums featuring material by The Beatles with the name The Koppycats. The Koppycats - Nowhere Man (1967) Jeesh, get the chords right. And the harmonies.  Les 409 - Hello Goodbye (1967) Les 409 - I'm a Man (1967) Link Wray - Please Please Me (1963) Mike Quinn - Apple Pie (1969) Nicky Scott - Honey Pie (1969) Helen Merrill - Norwegian Wood (1970) Ken Ray Wilemon and Me - Beware of Darkness  Ken Ray Wilemon and Me - Jet    

Woke Critical Race Theory as Reality Deficit Disorder   Richard Gale & Gary Null PhD Progressive Radio Network, July 1, 2021     Let us be clear. The recent rise in Wokeness is another symptom of America's “reality deficit disorder (RDD),” a condition that continues to proliferate across the American landscape since the Age of Enlightenment and the 19th century's advent of scientific materialism as a secular religion.  The proponents of modern behaviorism and the neurosciences are likewise saturated with RDD. The gurus of modern Critical Race Theory, the Woke self-congratulating experts and false prophets, are its public face.  These are plastic intellectuals who have found a righteous purpose spread the message in the Woke Critical Race movement's bible, Robin DiAngelo's bestseller White Fragility. Identity politics, efforts to consolidate groupthink in order to promulgate illusions about race, social status, and gender have found their voice in DiAngelo's and Ibram Kendi's writings.   Despite the widespread adulation DiAngelo has received from liberal educators, the mega-corporate elite, and the liberal media, she has managed to jockey herself away from the deep scrutiny her writings and lectures deserve.  An exception is Jonathan Church, author of Reinventing Racism, who brilliantly exposes DiAngelo's flaws and deconstructs her façade of being objective.  Church takes a more philosophical offensive to shed light on DiAngelo's implicit biases and contradictions that in turn distort the very ideas she attempts to proselytize. While we agree wholeheartedly with Church's polemic, we would take a more scientific approach and state that DiAngelo's racial theories of irredeemable Whiteness have no basis in reality whatsoever.    White Fragility reads like a tantrum by an author deeply confused about her own identity and with a third-rate intellect. “All white people,” DiAngelo wants us to believe, “are invested in and collude with racism.” If you were born White then racism is built into your genetic inheritance. There can be no escape from this curse, DiAngelo suggests, no redemption or purification by fire regardless of how much penitence, public service or charity you perform for the greater good. We wonder whether she would include the indigenous White Finno-Ugric peoples inhabiting the most northern forests and tundra of Scandinavia and Russia's Kola Peninsula are also genetically colluding in perpetuating the world's racism.   The author reminds us of someone who has read every published book about chocolate and thus feels qualified to write one of their own; however, the person has never actually tasted chocolate. Philosophy and postmodern sociology in general, notably the modern philosophies of science and mind, suffer from this mental affliction. They write books about other philosophers' books who in turn wrote books about their predecessors' scribbling. Many authors writing about religion suffer from this same malady.  Right-wing critics to RCT Wokeness likewise indulge in a similar cognitive hallucination built upon feeble-minded pre-Galilean superstitions.  When the time comes to take their last breath, they will have failed to achieve any conscious lucidity to read the last page in the novel of their lives.  Their perceptions of themselves and the world, their righteous anger and biases, will be revealed as dreamscapes –nevertheless the phantoms they have conjured will have had dire consequences to the welfare of innocent victims prejudiced and canceled by their vitriol and condemnation.    There have always been conflicting ideologies, cherished beliefs and inflamed emotions towards racial discrepancies, social order or how the nation should be governed. But today these cognitive afflictions, masquerading as passions and righteous causes such as Woke Culture's anti-racism, have disintegrated into tribalism. This is now fomenting new class and racial distinctions and struggles as well as media turf wars. No one can accurately predict where this collective reality deficit disorder will lead ultimately but it certainly won't contribute to any positive advancement of human well-being. It repeats the old adage of garbage in, garbage out.   “The greatest need of our time,” the Trappist monk Thomas Merton wrote in his Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander, “is to clean out the enormous mass of mental and emotional rubbish that clutters our minds and makes all political and social life a mass illness. Without this housecleaning we cannot begin to see. Unless we see we cannot think.”  Merton believed that this “purification must begin with the mass media.”  We would suggest it also begins with our educational institutions. Teachers who embrace White Fragility's social folly, need to introspectively gaze and observe the destructive ataxia nesting in their own minds.  If anyone wonders why the nation is so angry, screaming and protesting, it is because the failed neoliberal experiment, the culture of political nepotism, a captured and biased media, and a thoroughly corrupt judiciary have created this horror show. DiAngelo seemingly wants to gather tinder keep racial conflagrations burning.   "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous," Martin Luther King lamented, "than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." It is our deep ignorance about not knowing ourselves and appreciating our intrinsic interconnections with each other and the environment that perpetuates the suffering around us. These deeper existential relationships outsmart and surpass any value Critical Race Theory might offer. This includes our attachments to whatever accomplishments and failures we experience in our lives through racial identity, which lead to a reality deficit with all of its superiority complexes, apathy and depression.    First, there is sufficient empirical science to reach a consensus that we are a culture that has become habituated to mistaking its unfounded perceptions about itself and the world as reality-based. This applies to our cognitive conceptions of Whiteness, Blackness, Yellowness, etc. Church makes this clear; DiAngelo's use of the term Whiteness is “nebulous” and “vague.”  He points out that her logic falls into a Kafka Trap, referring to Kafka's novel The Trial when an unassuming man is dragged into court and accused for an unspecified crime; subsequently his unwavering denial is itself interpreted as absolute proof that the accusation is true. “Yes, all white people are complicit with racism,” writes DiAngelo, “People will insist that they are not racist… This is the kind of evidence that many white people used to exempt themselves from that system. It is not possible to be exempt from it.” Consequently, for DiAngelo and Kendi, Whites can only speak about their “whiteness” in terms of how it reinforces systemic racism. But from a neuro-scientific perspective, all colored racisms are skewed perceptions of reality.    For example, when we gaze into a deep azure sky we immediately assume there is physical blue over our heads. However, there are no blue-colored photons reaching our retinas. Rather, our brains receive the emitted photons and through a complex channeling of information from the eye to the visual cortex the brain then Photoshops the color azure and projects it through our glance into the empty space of the sky. The same is true whether we gaze at a verdant forest canopy, a fiery sunset, the fluorescent, shimmering hues of a fanning peacock's feathers or observing an African, Asian or European person crossing the street.     There is nothing mysterious behind this; it is visual brain science 101. No neuroscientist questions this visual phenomena.  We reify the sensory stimuli the brain receives from the objective world and then grasp and cling to these as being factually real. Theoretically race may be understood as only a conventional or relative appearance arising to our mental perceptions. No absolutely objective claims can be made about it; therefore, there cannot be any absolute analyses or solutions for confronting racism either.    In striking contrast to White Fragility's cognitive deficiencies, we may consider an argument posed by the great German and Jewish existentialist philosopher Martin Buber. Buber speaks of an I-You relationship when we engage with another person as another subject instead of as an object. There's a subject there, and that subject is every bit as real as the subject over here. As much as I care about my own well-being, then so do you. To transcend Critical Race Theory's divisions and its many shortcomings, which relate to others as I-Its -- as mere objects -- we simply need to be aware of Buber's advice, and become fully engaged with that reality. Buber highlights this as a profoundly existential problem in modern society. It is debilitating.  It is dehumanizing and horrid, although for DiAngelo and Critical Wokeness preserving racial I-It relationships is not only valid but essential. When we regard others simply in terms of whether the color of their skin is appealing or unappealing, pleasant or unpleasant, superior or inferior, and so forth we are bifurcating impressions that have no substance in reality. We are simply treating other sentient beings as if they have no more sentience, no more subjectivity, no more presence from their own side than a robot or computer. But that seems fine for DiAngelo and her tragic dehumanizing dogma, the output of a massive reality deficit disorder.    If DiAngelo were unintelligent or had severe brain damage, we might understand and would certainly sympathize. But she and Ibram Kendi -- and we would argue all of their followers who carry White Fragility's banner into school classrooms -- are likely very educated people. That is the calamity and the clear evidence for the deep-seated spiritual impoverishment when a person is viewed as nothing more than the race of their physical bodies.   If antii-racial Wokeness is true, then the more deeply we probe and investigate it, the truer it should appear. This is one of William James' fundamental principles when he made efforts to turn the psychology of his day into a real science. If Jame's methodololgy had not been obliterated by the rise of behaviorism in 1910, psychology would be completely different today. We would actually be treating and curing people of mental disorders, and with life-long medications. On the other hand, if DiAngelo's hypothesis is false, the more deeply you investigate, which includes introspection, the more false it will appear. That is where robust inquiry comes in: to determine what is simply true regardless of whatever your personal unsubstantiated and biased beliefs about it might be. What you believe has absolutely no impact upon whether something is true or not. This is also basic Buddhist epistemology that has been repeatedly replicated by contemplatives for several millennia. However, for the Woked who cling to their beliefs most fiercely they are trapped in a cave of their own system's illusions.    Neuroscience, including its gross failures and tendencies towards metaphysical realism, has more to tell us about the inherent dangers in White Fragility's doctrine. First, modern brain science has not produced an iota of evidence to confirm that the mind and consciousness are solely a product or output originating in neuron and synaptic activity. None. Contrary to the evidence, most neuroscientists and evolutionary biologists nevertheless embrace this opinion as being a settled matter. But it is ridiculous to believe that evolution somehow dragged along our ancient single-celled ancestors until some point was reached when a conscious mind -- a “nothing” that is not observable, not measurable, not quantifiable, without atoms or photons, mass, electric charge or spin – mysteriously arose out of something, such as genes and biomolecular phenomena. Therefore cognitive scientists pretend to know something about the mind and consciousness when in fact they haven't a clue.    If the genetic determinism of DiAngelo and other materialists populating the evolutionary and biological sciences is correct, then it would break the fundamental physical laws of energy conservation and causal efficacy. Rather the absolutist determinism that underpins White Fragility's entire message is just the inverse side of the coin with Evangelical creationism. In effect, DiAngelo is saying White people have no choice. It's genetic chemistry or its genetic chemistry; either way its genetic chemistry.  By disguising and recasting an evolutionary and genetic determinism about racist Whiteness into her critical race theory, DiAngelo is in fact admitting that her own perceptions about reality are fundamentally flawed.    Why is that?   Dr. Donald Hoffman has been a professor of neuroscience at the University of California at Irvine for over three decades. He has an impeccable background having studied artificial intelligence at MIT. But unlike the vast majority of his colleagues, Hoffman broke ranks and passed beyond neuroscience's 19th century mechanistic base and dared to study modern quantum physics and relativity theory. Theoretical physics is almost anathema in human biological reseach and medicine, which is why these soft sciences have made so little progress to improve human health and well-being. Hoffman has performed hundreds of thousands of simulations comparing different species and their chances for survival based upon their ability to perceive and comprehend reality more accurately or not. His discoveries are startling and utterly revolutionary.    Hoffman discovered, across the board, species that best perceive reality go extinct more rapidly than competing species that only perceive what is necessary for them to remain fit and survive. During an interview following a TED Talk, Hoffman stated, “according to evolution by natural selection,” – and here he is limiting himself solely to evolutionary biological theory not quantum theories about the natural world or the deeper theories about the nature of consciousness – “an organism that sees reality as it is will never be more fit than an organism of equal complexity that sees none of reality but is just tuned to fitness. Never.” In other words, evolution has nothing to do with perceiving reality more clearly, but only to be more fit in order to adapt, survive and procreate. And now physicists are even telling us that perceiving reality accurately is consciousness itself, which has no association whatsoever with natural selection. Yet this only occur after we have subdued our connate and conditioned mental and emotional afflictions that keep us chained to reality deficit disorder   For example, Professor Edward Witten, regarded as “the world's smartest” physicist at the Institute for Advanced Studies at Princeton, has been compared to Newton and Einstein. Witten doesn't believe science will ever understand consciousness. “I think consciousness will remain a mystery,” Witten stated during a lecture, ”I have a much easier time imagining how we understand the Big Bang than I have imagining how we can understand consciousness.” Or we can listen to Stanford University theoretical physicist Andre Linde:   “The current scientific model of the material world obeying laws of physics has been so successful that we forget our starting point as conscious observers, and conclude that matter is the only reality and that perceptions are only helpful for describing it. But in fact, we are substituting the reality of our experience of the universe with a conceptually contrived belief…”   One may feel our critique is too abstract with no practical application; however to at least conceptually understand race in terms of our sensory perceptions can have enormous benefits to cut through and lessen the false semblances that arise from reality deficit disorder and then produce books such as White Fragility and How To Be An Antiracist.   Therefore, if neuroscientists and modern neo-Darwinists such as Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett and Robin DiAngelo, who believe they are telling the complete story about human existence, racial differences and a physical causality to the human mind, and that all of these emerged from natural selection, then Hoffman has shown they undermine their own credibility. The entire course of natural selection that gave rise to these scientists and the intellectuals behind Critical Race Theory has nothing to do with knowing reality as it is, including Blackness or Whiteness. Consequently, there is no reason to believe their sociological and scientific convictions are accurate. If we did not evolve to know reality as it is, then their science and philosophies are also irrelevant. They are birdbrained beliefs because none of us – if we take their Darwinian assumptions to their full conclusion -- did not evolve to perceive reality in the first place. Our sole purpose is to make babies and try to survive contently into old age.    Finally, contrary to DiAngelo, British journalist Melanie Phillips offers a clearer understanding for why we should not rely upon the pundits of anti-racial wokeness to save us from ourselves. Despite disagreeing with Phillips on many of her other socio-political positions, she correctly identifies the fundamental flaws being voiced by arrested development Wokeness across our campuses and within the Democrat party. First, it is unable to establish a hierarchy of values and morals. For example, if one refuses to say that any lifestyle or culture is better than another, then it cannot be said that liberalism is better than conservatism or any other ideology.  Consequently, faux Woke liberalism cannot legitimately defend the very principles upon which it defines itself: racial and gender equality, freedom of speech and religion, tolerance, and class struggle.  It contradicts its own principles and follows DiAngelo's footsteps to remove the dignity of the individual, which in the past was at the heart of authentic liberalism and once served as its moral backbone. What we are witnessing therefore in Woke liberalism – and in DiAngelo's and Kendi's reinvention of racism -- is “the strong dominating the weak,” and this is an ill-liberal ideology that is already showing signs of having catastrophic consequences in classrooms and the workplace.   

The Lord trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth. Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup. For the righteous Lord loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright. (Psalm 11:5-7) 232 Brother Cox, not long ago, was setting on my runway before we put the…after we had the rocks there, and he picked up a little, old fossil, and he said, “Brother Branham, how old is that?” 233 “Oh,” I said, “chronologically, you might say it's ten thousand years old. Some kind of a little, old sea monster that lived at one time, a little sea animal, might have lived way back in the ages gone by.” 234 He said, “Just think how short human life is to that life.” 235 I said, “Oh, but, brother, that thing has an end, but the Life that we have in Christ has no end. That may live two or three forevers, but it'll never have Eternal Life, 'cause Eternal Life comes from God alone.” 236 Eternal, “He that heareth My Words and believeth on Him that sent Me, hath Eternal Life and shall NEVER come to the judgment but passed from death unto Life.” There you are, you get Eternal Life by being a believer. An unbeliever has life forever. An Eternal…a believer has Eternal Life, and cannot perish because It's Eternal. 237 But a believer, he will go…An unbeliever will go through the world, he'll have miseries, woes; what he calls having a big time, “whoopee, having a big time.” Women, wine, and big time, he thinks he's going on. He'll die, he'll go into a lake of fire and brimstone which burns, where burning is going on forever and forever, and maybe for a hundred million years his soul may be tormented in a lake of fire and brimstone. 238 I…You say, “Will it be just like regular brimstone?” I believe it'll be a million times worse than that. I believe you couldn't describe it by fire, by a literal fire. The only reason it's put “by fire,” that fire is the most consuming thing that we had. It absolutely consumes and destroys everything, fire does. Well, then, it'll be in there, but you'll have a soul that'll have to be punished through some kind… 239 Now, you have to watch the word fire, because the Holy Ghost is used “the Holy Ghost and fire”; 'cause Holy Ghost fire burns sin out, see, and makes clean. 240 But this fire, it comes from hell, it said a “lake of fire.” And ever what it is, it's a punishment with torment. The rich man lifted up his eyes, being in hell, and said, “Send Lazarus with a little water on his fingers, to put on my lips, for this flames are tormenting me.” Don't think there isn't a burning hell, and a literal hell, there is. If there's a literal devil, there's a literal hell. 241 But, you see, everything that's perverted has a end to it, because it finally must come back to that purity and holiness of God. And God is Eternal; and if we have Eternal Life, God is in us, and we can no more die than God can die. There you are. 57-0925 - "Questions And Answers On Hebrews #1" Rev. William Marrion Branham ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Order your own copy of the Family Altar at http://store.bibleway.org Appreciate what we do? Consider supporting us: https://anchor.fm/ten-thousand-worlds/support --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ten-thousand-worlds/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ten-thousand-worlds/support

Today’s guest used to sit on the opposite sides of the WordPress hosting competition table from me. At one point in his career, he was pumping out content on Kinsta’s blog like an absolute machine while I was raging against that machine, selling would-be customers on Pagely’s hosting stack. So where is Brian Jackson, former marketer at Kinsta now? He co-found Forgemedia with his brother Brett, and have released 3 unique plugins, two of which help WordPress site owners optimize their sites for ranking and social sharing. Oh, they tossed a coupon plugin in there too to help affiliates increase sales for good measure. Once frienemy now Matt Report guest, I’m excited to share this conversation with you today. Transcription Brian Jackson Forgemedia Matt Report [00:00:00] This episode of the Matt report is brought to you by mal care. Learn more about Malik here at Dot com. You’ve heard me talk about mal care before, but they’re back with some interesting updates. Not only are they the WordPress plugin with instant WordPress malware removal. Well, let me read some of these features. [00:00:15] Deep malware scanning. They know about malware that other plugins don’t. Number two, that one click malware removal process makes it super easy to remove from your WordPress website and number three, a new feature called auto bot ultra defense system. Okay. I made that ultra defense system part up, but get this, it automatically blocks the bots hitting your website. [00:00:35]So, not only does that protect your website, but in the long run, it’ll improve speed of your site from not letting those bots through the doors. Check out mal care at care.com that’s mal care.com. I don’t want to be a malware specialist. You don’t either check out mal. care.com. thanks for supporting the show [00:00:56]Matt: [00:00:56] episode of the Matt report is brought to you by search WP. Find search [00:01:00] wp@searchwp.com. Let’s talk about the power of their metrics. Add on for a moment. Since I redesigned the Matt report website, I put search front and center on my homepage. Why search WP metrics metrics. Give me the inside data to what visitors on my site are looking for. [00:01:18] I love the graphs and the actionable advice that it provides me. I can make informed decisions to create new content or optimize existing content that my audience is searching for. Remember when Google gave you all of that search data? Yeah, it was great. Back then, way back then when they gave it to us, they don’t give it to us anymore. [00:01:36] Put on-site search front and center for your visitors. Get that data back. Get searched wp@searchwp.com along with their metrics. Add on that search wp.com. Thanks for supporting the show. [00:01:49] today’s guest used to sit on the opposite sides of the WordPress hosting competition table. For me, at one point in his career, he was pumping out content on blog, like an absolute machine. [00:02:00] Well, I was raging against that machine selling would be customers on Paisley’s hosting stack. So where is Brian Jackson? [00:02:06] Former marketer at Kinston now. He co-founded forge media with his brother, Brett and have released three unique plugins, two of which help WordPress site owners optimize their sites for ranking and social sharing. Oh, they tossed that coupon plugin in there too. [00:02:20] To help affiliates increase their sales for good measure. Once frenemy now, Matt report guests. I’m excited to share this conversation with you today. You’re listening to the Maryport podcast for the resilient digital business builder. Subscribe to the newsletter now. report.com/subscribe and follow us on apple podcast, Spotify, wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, better yet. [00:02:40] Please share this episode on social media. More love we get more listeners. There are around here. Okay. Don’t forget to listen to the WP minute podcasts. It’s weekly. WordPress news. And under five minutes while I just said it every week, the WP minute.com. It’s the WP minute.com. Subscribe to the [00:03:00] newsletter there. [00:03:00] Brian Jackson, here we go. [00:03:02] Brian: [00:03:02] I am running just a small little agency with my brother. We’re both the co-founders of forge media is what it’s called. [00:03:09] And we have a, kind of a marketing blog where we talk about WordPress related stuff in marketing and SEO. And then our main focus is actually our, we have three different WordPress plugins that we develop. One is a coupon plugin for like affiliate marketers, and other one is a social sharing plugin. [00:03:27] That’s really kind of focused on the performance aspect of it. And then we have our perf matters plugin, which is basically trying to tweak, WordPress to get it to be as fast as he can kind of a compliment to. Some of the other performance plugins that are already out there. So like we see a lot of people are using ours along with another one. [00:03:47] Matt: [00:03:47] I’m going to take this in the reverse order when we had our pre-interview something that just struck me. What is the attraction to. Social sharing plugins. I feel like it’s one of [00:04:00] those things, whereas , isn’t this solved already. Shouldn’t it be solved by WordPress at this point. [00:04:06]Social media is obviously here to stay. We’re recording this in the year 2021. You’d think that those buttons, those things for sharing your articles and your posts out would have been solved already. What is the attraction to that? What’s so good about that. [00:04:22]Brian: [00:04:22] And actually. I would actually say since we’ve been in developing our programmatic plugin for a while, and now we’re developing our social sharing plugin, the social sharing plugin is actually more complex to develop than our performance. [00:04:36] One sounds strange, but behind the scenes, there’s a lot more that goes on. Especially once you get into. Doing the social share counters and how to make that work for performance stuff. And then just Pinterest is just a nightmare to work with because you have your things, like you click a Pinterest image and it brings up all the images on the page. [00:04:57] There you can select there’s different [00:05:00] things you have to go through. And WordPress is just never going to be up to par compared to The social sharing plugins. I think WordPress will get to the point where you’ll eventually have a nice block with, I want these three buttons. Here’s my block. [00:05:11] I’ll drag it into the widget. We’re pretty much close to that. But as far as going beyond that, I don’t think we’re press ever wants to even tackle what we’re kind of doing with the social sharing plugins. And as a marketer, I’ve always liked sharing plugins because especially working at Ken’s still, like, we saw a lot of the data, like lots of people shared our content. [00:05:30] And so I, I know they work. And then you have other people using tools like buffer, that maybe don’t click the buttons, but they do it a different way. So yeah. [00:05:38]Matt: [00:05:38] I’ll become, come clean on this conversation. Like I never use a social share button on a site, largely because I just use the native integration with my iPhone. [00:05:49] Generally when I’m reading something or from on my laptop, I copy paste or hit the old buffer. Buffer icon in my in my brief extension. And I, I run it that [00:06:00] way, but all of that is to say that probably there’s some psychological sense in the mere fact of having an icon on a page to remind somebody like, oh yes, you should be sharing this. [00:06:11] Don’t don’t forget it. So there’s probably a little bit of that baked [00:06:14] Brian: [00:06:14] in, even if you don’t use the button and what’s the social share counts too. I’ve actually, I wish social share counts never existed to begin with. I just. I w I hope they all die eventually in my opinion. But the reason they work is like you said, that there’s a psychological thing behind seeing like, oh, this post has 1200 shares. [00:06:31] Like maybe I should actually read through this or something. See what’s what is in here. So yeah, a lot of it is psychological, I think, with the social sharing for sure. [00:06:38] Matt: [00:06:38] Product owners slash make, or I presume that. You’re the sort of like the, the architect, you sort of do the blueprint, but then your brother goes in and develops the features that, that you might, sketch out let’s for lack of a better phrase sketch out. [00:06:54] And then you say, Hey, this would be a great way to use it. I assume something like the Nova share plugin, [00:07:00] like you said, it’s a complex plugin behind the scenes, but at the same time, like you’re trying to dumb it down. To as simplistic as possible so that somebody who’s just, futsing around. [00:07:10] Like, I need to get a social share plugin on this site right now. I need to activate it. Like you have milliseconds to. Get that person to experience adding a social share plug in, or they’re just like, Nope. The activate delete one to move onto the next one. Like it’s, it’s a fine craft in order to get the most simplistic plugins activated and usable [00:07:31]Brian: [00:07:31] One thing that works in our advantage, I think is neither of us are good designers. We’re just, we can’t do it. If you give me a blank slate, I can’t do anything with it. Now if you give me blank slate and I have to write something, I can do that, but I can’t design worth crap and neither can my brother. [00:07:45]So we actually take advantage of the native WordPress UI in all of our plugin settings. So I actually like it that way better because then you don’t have to learn a whole new UI all over again. I hate these plugins with these brand new UIs. You have to learn like where’s all this [00:08:00] stuff. So we just take advantage default WordPress UI for all the settings. [00:08:03]And works for us. Cause we’re not designers. It just looks like word press still. And then I actually think it improves the onboarding because you’re not like where’s w why does this looks crazy? What are these toggles? All this stuff. So, yeah, so I, it, like you said, though, you have a few seconds until you lose someone. [00:08:19] I’m the same way too. I’ll go into a new plugin, I’d try it. And like, if I can’t figure out something or see it, a doc explaining how to do it, like I’m, I’m probably gone. So. [00:08:29]Matt: [00:08:29] So th this is a good segue into just talking about like all the plugins that you’re building including the, the perf matters plugin and the coupons plugin. [00:08:39] How do you allow yourself, or how do you wrangle in that expectation to just put all the features and everything, the kitchen sink into all of these. Plugins. [00:08:51] Brian: [00:08:51] Yeah, that’s a good point. And I think what has worked. Well for us in the past, and hopefully we’ll continue to work is being a WordPress user for so long myself [00:09:00] for like over a decade. I’ve used every social sharing plugin in the book, try them all. [00:09:04]And I’ve used all the performance optimists as you plug in. So I’ve used them all. And just over the years, finding things that really annoyed me. And I couldn’t do easily. That’s kind of what we’ve started our business around. Like here’s how I would do it myself in a different way. We started building on that kind of methodology. [00:09:20]And then right now it’s kind of morphed into what are we still trying to do? Because, because Google’s constantly changed stuff with performance, you have the web vitals stuff coming. So like, there’s things constantly changing. Like Facebook’s updating their share API. You’re always having to change and adapt as the plugins go on. [00:09:37]But I think we, my brother and I just always looked at it like, how would we do this if we were the user? Because we are the user still. And that’s worked really well for us in the past. So [00:09:48]Matt: [00:09:48] There’s an overhead to this stuff that a lot of people are not aware of. The more features you put in. Especially in your case where not only do you have to build the feature and support that feature, you [00:10:00] also have to be aware what Google’s changing, what Pinterest is changing. [00:10:04] You start rolling features and you’re like, Hey, there’s 15 social media sites we integrate with, and now that’s 15 API or whatever you have to, you have to watch. And I think a lot of people forget about that. And also to the point of view or UI decisions. Not being a designer. The worst thing the product makers do is attempt to be a designer. [00:10:27] And then they’re like, they, then they make those interfaces and you’re like, why did you even just use what WordPress gave you? You would have saved time, money, and no, one’s trying to figure out how the heck do you use this thing? [00:10:36]Brian: [00:10:36] The UI is actually a good point too. With, if you keep adding features over time, say you want to move this stuff to a different tab. Usually it’s stuff like that’s going to actually require a Migrator is what we call my brother. And I call it a Migrator on the backend running code to migrate the feature as that person talks at all in there. [00:10:54] To get rid of the old one. And that Migrator code has to stay in there. Until [00:11:00] I’m pretty much forever, or you can rip it out like two or three years later and say like, I think everyone’s probably gone and toggled this on here and moved. But like all of that stuff adds overhead. So like, we are always thinking like, where can we put this longterm? [00:11:13] Because we don’t want to put migrators in here later down the road to move everything again. So like, Lots of people don’t think that through even we were consumed with that a little bit. I was like, wow, this is, yeah, this is hard to change later down the road too. So, [00:11:26]Matt: [00:11:26] so let’s talk about perf matters, plugin. [00:11:29]It doesn’t seem to me anyway, like the easiest plugin to bring it to the market. I feel like it takes, not taking anything away, I think away from you and your brother, but it takes a lot of technical stuff that one would look at and be like, man, do we really want to build and test this, trying to find market adoption at the same time of as developing. [00:11:48] And it’s like, Hmm, social plugin or another form plugin, probably, sometimes it’d be sometimes you’re like, I should have built a form plugin. How did you prepare to jump into the market with that? What did, what did you do [00:12:00] in the past that said, you know what, this is the plugin for me. [00:12:02] Brian: [00:12:02] And I think that plugin itself. We actually started developing it while I was at Kinston. And mainly because, you know how hosting goes, like, no matter how good the host is, it doesn’t fix all the WordPress problems it on the site itself. So like a host won’t fix all the code issues. Usually it will help speed it up to as fast as you can get it. [00:12:22]And that’s why I always recommend using the host, like, can store a page the, or. Even, even WP engine, like any of those bigger tier hosts. But I just kept seeing thing to like, I need to tweak this and tweak this. And so over time I there’s a free plugin, like called code snippets. I don’t know if you’ve ever used that one, but I ended up with, 20 to 30 code snippets, running all these different filters and functions on my side. [00:12:43] And I was like, This is getting ridiculous. Let’s and so I actually asked my brother if we could put it into a plugin and then I started using it myself just on our own sites for awhile, and eventually it morphed into, like what if we just package this up and. Actually, maybe other people would be interested in it. [00:12:59]And what we [00:13:00] found was a lot of other developers and agencies were doing the same thing. They had like all these code snippets, running all these different places and just having one plugin where they could kind of do all these tweaks just with little toggles, made it a lot easier. , [00:13:12] Matt: [00:13:12] Was your brother already doing your [00:13:14] Brian: [00:13:14] business development? [00:13:14] He was a full-time WordPress developer, but for a He was in like the health space for a different corporation. So, got [00:13:20] Matt: [00:13:20] it. So you didn’t really have to twist his arm to convince you or to convince him [00:13:25] Brian: [00:13:25] to join. He actually used to live out here in Arizona and he worked there based here locally. I actually used to work for the same company too. [00:13:32]But he used to work in a cubicle and all this stuff, and eventually he moved back to Washington state. But still was like, when you’re coding things to help fix people’s back pain, it’s just, it’s not as exciting as a, it gets old after awhile. And that’s actually why I left that company venture too. [00:13:49] Cause like I’m trying to market cert back surgeries and all this stuff is just like, I don’t really, I want to help people, but like, yeah, I don’t have, I don’t know. I can’t put my whole heart into [00:14:00] this really. So, Finally started getting into the performance stuff and left that place. [00:14:04] And, but yeah, he, I didn’t have to twist his arm at all. He was ready to do his own thing too. So it kind of worked out great. [00:14:10]Matt: [00:14:10] So for the person who’s listening, who’s developing her new plugin right now, or her new SAS service or some service from product based in the WordPress world. If you can recall back to , when you first launched. [00:14:21]The plugin. What was on your to-do list first in terms of marketing blog, email. If you could do it again, would you do something different in order to get the word out, [00:14:31] Brian: [00:14:31] one thing I’ve never done. And I hate myself for doing this as a marketer, especially is I should never set up an email list for our plugins. [00:14:40]And then over time it morphed into like, well, now I don’t have half the people and I just never did it. So. I wish I would have done that from day one, because we were so heavy into email marketing at kids. So I know it works. It’s one thing I do email marketing from day one, like have a checkbox there. [00:14:57] If they buy your plugin or product, [00:15:00] whatever it is, like, have them at least the ability to opt into your newsletter. It’s I wish I had done that from day one. I might still go back and do that, but again, you’re like, I’ve lost two or three years worth of people in there. So that’s one thing. [00:15:12]I think choosing the right e-commerce system is really, really important. I don’t regret what we did. We went with easy digital downloads. I’m not a huge fan of WooCommerce just cause it’s, the overhead is a lot more than EDD, but it depends on what you’re selling to. If you’re going to a physical product, I would have probably gone with WooCommerce. [00:15:29] So, if you’re yeah. And [00:15:31] Matt: [00:15:31] by overhead you’re PR you’re probably referring to like the same thing we were just talking about. Like, it’s not even just like the price, but it’s, it’s just like all just the way that approaches digital sales and like all the stuff you have to do to just get a [00:15:43] Brian: [00:15:43] digital too. Like, it just has to run more with all that stuff. [00:15:46] It’s a bigger product. And there’s no way you can get the scripts, as small as like easy digital downloads. Cause there are a lot more niche focused. So. But if you’re doing just digital stuff, I love you to never have regretted that decision. They’re about to roll out. They’ve [00:16:00] been working on like EDD 3.0 for like a year plus now, and it’s going to be really cool. [00:16:05] So I’m excited. Well, yeah, it gives them the benefit of the doubt, but yeah, it really has been like five years, but it really is. Yeah. Cause I’ve been playing with the beta of that and it’s really cool reports coming in. So, but. E-commerce platforms definitely important. I probably, I, so what I did was I’m a big fan of SEO and content. [00:16:25] And what I did was I actually strategically wrote our docs. To rank, instead of doing the blog route, I, I do like keyword research on every documentation thing we write. So if there’s different ways I can word it slightly to kind of a keyword that better. I do that. So that has kind of been like a replacement for a blog. [00:16:45] And if you have that’s worked really well. For us. So like maybe if you’re a developer have a plugin, if you don’t have time for a blog. Cause really we didn’t, we didn’t either, but I knew content works. So we kind of went with the documentation approach. Just you can [00:17:00] go like treated as a 2000 and 3000 word documentation post. [00:17:05] Awesome. [00:17:05]Matt: [00:17:05] Yeah. And as it might be like how to optimize or how to optimize the WordPress site on kin sta. And it might be, your article talking about your documentation article. Maybe you have a special API key that integrates with Kinsler, something like that. But, you’d have those keywords where you’re answering what, will be an eventual question from a customer, but you’re, you’re also, giving it that sprinkle on top where. [00:17:29] If somebody’s searching for it in Google, it’s also gonna, solve that [00:17:33] Brian: [00:17:33] fall. We have seen from that is, and it’s not really a huge issue, but if you have any like voting system in place, we have a little like thumbs up, thumbs down thing on our docs that if you put the thumbs down, it just lets you like put in a comment to say like, why you didn’t like it or what we could improve. [00:17:48] We get a lot of thumbs down because I guess I’ve done too good with documentation or something. So like people like how to disable emojis and WordPress. And like our documentation is how to use our plugin [00:18:00] to disable emojis and WordPress. And everyone wants to not buy our plugin, but figure out how to disable emotions. [00:18:06] WordPress still they’re like thumbs down or joining us up on your plugins. And I was like, I’m sorry, I re too good of a dog, I guess. Sorry. That’s Google’s fault. In my opinion, the, the [00:18:16] Matt: [00:18:16] internet. The Internet’s a funny place. I have a eight year old gravity forms video that people still comment on this. [00:18:23] Isn’t like, how did this wasn’t even look the same? Like, did you look at the date of the YouTube video? It’s eight years old? What did you, what did [00:18:30] Brian: [00:18:30] you think was going to happen regardless? Free traffic is free traffic, so it’s never a bad thing. [00:18:36]Matt: [00:18:36] I’m just going to pause for a second here. I don’t know why this AC units making the sound one second and it’s back it’s it’s on the phone. I don’t know why. All right. The, the YouTube viewers will enjoy that. Cause the YouTube is totally unedited. That’s the value of watching the YouTube, watching the YouTube channel. [00:18:53]Let’s talk about the product market fit itself. You start writing the documentation. It starts [00:19:00] ranking. What was your first order of operation to get connected with agencies and hosting providers? [00:19:06]Brian: [00:19:06] A lot of it was cause again, we, with our first plug in there, we started building it while it was at Ken star. [00:19:12] Ready. So like, I would say we had a little traction when we finally left. Like we had been, I had probably been writing docs for like a year, like just in the evening, slowly building it up and stuff. So. Our Nova shirt. One is probably a better example because that one we launched after I left Ken’s to. [00:19:28] So like that was a brand new play we launched just with nothing. And that one we’ve slowly just been ranking the docs. Huge, important thing. Social media has been another thing. I love using Twitter and Facebook, so that’s not a hard thing for me because I actually enjoy doing it. And another thing was affiliate marketing program. [00:19:46] That was, that’s been a huge thing for us actually. We saw it work. I saw it work pretty good at Kinsa and I’ve seen it actually even work even better with the plugins. So I’m not sure, maybe it works just better with plugins in general all the time, or I’ve [00:20:00] seen that work really well for us. [00:20:01] So, so, oops. But yeah, reaching out to bloggers and letting them know we have an affiliate program and kind of describing like our our plugin and what it does, and like how it might stack up to, some of the other ones that are out there already. And then just kind of going from there and then kind of building all the affiliate marketers, and that kind of will snowball over time, but it’s not, there’s no overnight easy success. [00:20:22] So just a fair warning to everyone. It’s like, it’s a slow, it’s a slow grind. [00:20:26]Matt: [00:20:26] Yeah. I Especially affiliates, right? Cause you, you want to try to reach out to the air quotes, good ones that are out there. Right. And you want to make sure that they’re providing the most accurate and up-to-date information, which plugin did you use for affiliates in the back? [00:20:40] Also Pippin’s [00:20:41]Brian: [00:20:41] affiliate VP. That’s where we usually WB works really great. We’ve I’ve never had a single problem with it. [00:20:46]Matt: [00:20:46] The. Supporting the business let’s move into or supporting the plugins either one was that new to you? Coming from Kinsel, you probably saw what it was like to support a WordPress website or an end-user. You start marketing, you [00:21:00] are ranking, you’re making these connections, you’re selling it now. [00:21:03] Any surprise on supporting this stuff. Because again, I feel like at least the perf matters is. You’re gonna, you’re gonna, you’re probably going to have people ask you some real technical questions where it’s not just restart your laptop, try it again. It’s going to be something like, Hey, these three lines of my JavaScript file are getting corrupted. [00:21:20] Every time I hit, it’s like, oh man, like I have to get really deep with [00:21:23] Brian: [00:21:23] these customers. So like for our providers, I would say we get 10 times the amount of tickets as we do for our social media plugin or a coupon plugin. And we knew that was going to happen. Optimization is tricky. And even if you make it a single toggle, like it might not work on someone else’s site, it might need a slight fix on our end to work with that theme. [00:21:44] Or there’s all sorts of different problems that can go with performance optimization. And so like a part of my day is doing support tickets. Like every single day. Like I wake up and basically my brother and I wake up and we try to bang out support tickets, first thing. So by noon, we can [00:22:00] actually. [00:22:00] Like, he goes back to like coding and I don’t really hear from him for a couple hours. And then, yeah. And then I’ll go back into, in documentation and like whatever’s in my Trello board. But yeah, I would say a good half of our day now is spent just doing tickets and we use just a shared Gmail inbox. [00:22:17] We found that it works really great for us. With two people. I know that doesn’t work once you get lots of people, but we use ’em. The filters aggressively. And then we have our contact form push in different labels, dynamically based on what they choose. So when it comes in, we can see like, oh, this is a feature request for perf matters. [00:22:35]And then a filter is applied to it in Gmail. And so when we get up, like we can see boom, boom, boom, like kind of what we have already without, without any work. So, [00:22:43] Matt: [00:22:43] There’s a, there’s a lead of customer success right now. Just throwing a laptop around the room going, I can’t believe they just use a single [00:22:50] Brian: [00:22:50] g-mail inbox. [00:22:51] Yeah. Well, coming from Kenzie, we used Intercom and all of these crazy tools to do the, to do the support and stuff. And you had, and then just [00:23:00] going to a shared Gmail inbox, it’s kind of refreshing to be honest, because it was very, very simple. But yeah, that’s our workflow. And like, I have my Trello board, my brother has his development, Trello board. [00:23:10] So that’s how we do that. But yeah. [00:23:11]Matt: [00:23:11] What does a long-term what does a long-term vision of this? This company with your brother look like, like, are you, are you looking to just keep it you and him? Or is it you starting to feel like, okay, we’re growing this whole, like nine to 12, just doing support. We need to bring somebody on. [00:23:28] Is that a, is that in the cards in the future, [00:23:30] Brian: [00:23:30] or I think we’re going to try to see how it goes here within the next year or two. We. We’re trying not to bring anyone else on board because I’ve seen at multiple startups, how that works and it just had so much more complications to things like, and then if you grow too big, you got to do an HR department. [00:23:48] And it just gets out of control really, really fast. So like we’re purposefully wanting to stay very, very small. And the nice thing about that is our overhead is also really small too. So, that’s one [00:24:00] reason why we’re, we’re also not just trying to add every single feature in the book to try to just get every sale we possibly can. [00:24:05] We’re we’re more specific about what we’re adding and trying to stay small and nimble. I would, I would say for people out there staying small and nimble definitely has a lot of advantages. Even things like, yeah. Taking advantage. I’m not a big fan of lifetime deals. But you know, I snagged them when I see them too. [00:24:23] I’m not, you’d be stupid if you don’t. And so, like EDD had a lifetime sale last year, they ran. I was like, okay, I know I bought it without hesitation within minutes. And just. Yeah. It’s like, it’s got bills like that, that you can just get where of live wife amount, forever. [00:24:39]If you’re small and nimble, like, it makes a huge difference. Whereas, if you’re a 30 person company might not, might not matter as much, but yeah. So yeah, staying small and nimble has advantages, I would say for sure. [00:24:49] Matt: [00:24:49] Yeah. How do you balance the, the response of the, of the folks? Well, let’s talk about how perf matters sits into the overall competition of plugins. [00:24:59] And when [00:25:00] we had our pre-interview, I asked you about like the caching plugins and stuff like that seems to be a booming market. If there, if you’re doing it well, Do you have customers who come to you who are like, even on this whole thing of, of pricing and value and lifetime deals, I feel like sometimes people go, we’re average, WordPress customers go, oh, a hundred dollars for this. [00:25:19] All it does is this one little thing. I’m not going to pay a hundred dollars when X plugin does it. I bought a lifetime license for $49. I’ll never have to pay again for free. How do you position. Perf matters to a caching plugin, heck even, even a Yoast SEO, because I think sometimes people throw that into the mix of, of site optimization. [00:25:39] How do you position it to your customers when they ask you that the [00:25:42] Brian: [00:25:42] differences first off, I think with all of our plugins, we’ve approached them in a slightly different way. So like, and I probably every in the battle for I’ll say that, but I, I think we do have some things that are unique to us. But another thing that is another advantage of staying small and nimble is like, I, [00:26:00] I think our support is hands down the best out of. [00:26:02] Probably any of the other plugins out there. And it’s, we clear our tickets out by noon every single day. We respond typically within 20 minutes sometimes to people like your ticket will be solved the same day. Regardless. I won’t go to sleep until it’s solved. That’s that’s one advantage to us. And so, we get a lot of people reaching out saying, can you do this? [00:26:20] Or can you do that? And I’ll take the time. I’ll take 20 minutes and respond to them with a lengthy email. Sometimes here’s how to do this. And then, we’ll win over a customer that way. So, once you grow too big, you have to bang things out quicker and as fast as possible, and the quality just goes down. [00:26:35]And so I don’t mind taking more time out and, doing emails like that. So that’s one advantage. I think we have over some of our competitors. And another thing is we’ve kind of put ourselves in the niche to kind of work alongside. The competitors. So like WP, rocket. Great example, everybody has it. [00:26:53] I was probably on 90% of the sites I work on for clients. But like they started primarily as a caching plugin. [00:27:00] That’s how they started. And they started adding, all the optimizations after that. But for us. We’re like there’s already all these great caching solutions hosts, like Kinston Pagely WP engine. [00:27:11] You don’t need a caching plugin. So we’re like, you know what, we’re not going to do caching, skip that. There’s other, there’s other great people doing it, hosting providers now do it. So, we’re not going to spend time on that. And that’s kind of how we’ve approached everything out there. Like. Image optimization, never going to do it. [00:27:27] You have, you have short pixel. Imagify great plugins out there already that do that. Do it really well. We use those plugins. So you know what we’re to going to do that. We then focus on things that other people aren’t doing. We’re trying to fix problems that haven’t been solved yet. So. [00:27:43]Matt: [00:27:43] Yeah. And you mentioned to me that your best customers are agencies, obviously they’re, well-informed, they’re developing the sites, they understand WordPress. So it’s a great sort of, and you saw firsthand that other agencies were using the code snippets. Plugin. So you’re like, yeah, this makes total sense. [00:27:59] And if I [00:28:00] can address that market and shape my messaging to it, chances are the support won’t be as challenging. You still probably have challenging support, but at least if you’re focusing on agencies, they have some money. Yeah. [00:28:12] Brian: [00:28:12] Yep. No, exactly. And we do get all sorts of users. I We’ll get the, I’ve had people email us saying. [00:28:18] I just created my first website, WordPress website today. And for some reason they bought our plugin. I would be like, you know what, I, I think you need to learn a little more before you go down, even the optimization route. Like so, but and then we have people that have installed like literally like 10 different optimization, plugins thinking, the more they install the faster it will get, which it doesn’t work like that, unfortunately. [00:28:41]And so, we have to help those people. Fortunately, I. Being small and nimble, I can take the time and help those people that need a little more help than, like the agencies that, sometimes we’ll probably never hear from them because they already have a developer that knows WordPress knows what they’re trying to do. [00:28:55] And yeah, we just never even get a ticket from them ever. So. [00:28:58]Matt: [00:28:58] Yeah. You mentioned in [00:29:00] pre-interview something about Google core web vitals and how your plugin will at least help you get started, not solve it. I don’t think unless you, unless you do solve it through your plugin or solve a ranking well or optimizing well do you have any thoughts that you would like to share with people who might not. [00:29:18] No much about what this upcoming Google core web vitals is including yours truly because I haven’t really dug into any of the stuff that they’re rolling out. Is there anything that you’re plugging aides with that folks should get [00:29:31] Brian: [00:29:31] chance to viral? So there’s all these different kinds of warnings and rules they want you to meet or thresholds. [00:29:38]And so basically with our plugin, that’s, we’re entirely focused on Google core web vitals. That’s all we’re focused on. And we’re looking at each individual, one of those kind of born into the scene, how we can fix those basically on people’s sites. So yeah, are a lot of people are buying a plugin, installing it to help increase their scores with Google core web vitals. [00:29:55]Now if you had asked me five years ago, I would’ve told you don’t use page speed [00:30:00] scores at all. Don’t scores don’t matter. Unfortunately the times have changed and I will be the first to a minute. You need to go by the scores now. Unfortunately, that’s where we’re at. And. [00:30:10]Matt: [00:30:10] Which is a whole different conversation on [00:30:13] Brian: [00:30:13] like Google. [00:30:13] Yeah. Oh yeah. [00:30:15] Matt: [00:30:15] And [00:30:15] Brian: [00:30:15] antitrust. Sure. It is. And, but you know, the times before, when I started at kids to, this Google core web vitals wasn’t even existing, you had page speed insights. But it wasn’t really a ranking factor. So like, then you were like looking at total load time now. Load time matters, but you don’t look, I don’t look at that metric ever. [00:30:33] I haven’t looked at load time for. Probably months what I’m looking at or the Google core web vital scores. Now they do correlate pretty well. So if you score high there, you’re probably in loading fast anyways. So, but it’s changed into before is how fast is your site load? And now it’s about. How well does the code on your site run basically? [00:30:52] Like how, how are you loading the code? It’s a lot more complicated than it was three or four years ago. So [00:31:00] that’s what we’re focused on now. And a lot of the optimization plugins are, are also focused on that too. Now. [00:31:04]Matt: [00:31:04] Yeah. Yeah, for sure. What’s next in for marketing for you? Sounds like it’s still probably documentation building. [00:31:13] You have that chunk of the third of your day or whatever, doing support. Do you have a next big idea without sharing maybe the secret sauce of what you’re doing, but maybe giving people some, some framework of. Of what you think you’re going to do next for the company, because we’re about what two, two and a half years [00:31:30] Brian: [00:31:30] company. [00:31:30] Yeah. Yeah. Raleigh legally. Yeah. On paper. So like this. Yeah. Yeah. [00:31:36]Matt: [00:31:36] So at this stage of the game, like, it’s not just the, a beta test anymore. Like things are rocking and rolling for, for what we can tell you and your brother, you spending time supporting people. So you got customers you’re rolling out products, rolling out new features. [00:31:49] What does marketing look like next for you? What’s the next big leap you think you’ll [00:31:53] Brian: [00:31:53] take not a podcast. I’m going to leave that to people like you, that are professionals that I know nothing about podcasts. [00:32:00] So, I kudos to you cause it’s one thing, man. I, I could not do that. I, I wouldn’t even know where to start, but it’s the same with like YouTube. [00:32:06] I, I’ve never done YouTube videos in my life. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I’m a blogger. That’s what I know what to do. So I think a big focus for me is actually more content this next year. We actually, my brother and I got into a, kind of a bad habit this last year with partially, maybe because of COVID too, we got into a slump of like, I was just doing primarily most of the tickets trying to get them off so he could just do development. [00:32:32] And most of my day was just doing tickets and then, and I wasn’t doing any writing. And so this year we’ve kind of been like, okay, let’s both wake up. We’re both hanging out together. And that way we can both, I’ll go right then, and then you can go do a element. So that’s actually worked better for us. [00:32:48] So rebalancing our kind of workflow. And so yeah, I have a Trello board with probably like, Over a hundred topics I want to write on. It’s just, for me, it’s always a matter of a time. It’s never of what to do. It’s [00:33:00] just a matter of time. [00:33:00] Matt: [00:33:00] Yeah. Yeah, because you’re not, you’re not the type to just rip up, but like a 300, three to 500 word article, like you’re putting a lot of meetings [00:33:09] Brian: [00:33:09] when you’re creating a blog post. [00:33:11] And that’s another piece of advice for anyone listening. Yeah, I would two blog posts that are like 5,000 words. Each are way, way better than 10 blog posts that are, three or four, 500 words each. So just spend more time and less is, is, is fine. Yeah. [00:33:25] Matt: [00:33:25] For sure what’s next for product development, anything new and exciting coming a plugin we don’t know [00:33:31] Brian: [00:33:31] about yet or a new product. [00:33:34] We have enough under our boat for right now. As long as we can keep continuing seeing growth, being small and nimble, we’re really not looking for new, new plugins to drink and more money because we’re really focused on these right now. And I think for perf matters we have new features coming for. [00:33:50] Google core web vitals, everything we’re pushing out is how to solve more of those crazy warnings or how to fix things. So definitely be that that update [00:34:00] is coming in June. So yeah, everyone listening, just, I would take time, look at your sites, see where you’re standing at the moment. You don’t want to get caught off guard with that stuff. [00:34:07]And then for our social sharing plugin we’re actually going to be doing probably more focused on some block stuff. With Gutenberg. So, like widgets, I think here in five eight, or I forget if they delayed it again, they keep delaying stuff, but if it. There’s going to be blocks and widgets eventually. [00:34:23] And so we’re going to be doing some stuff with that. Taking advantage of that stuff that way, because right now we have a widget and like short codes, but it’s kinda, like the old school way of doing things. And I’d love to, drag a block here or drag a block there. Like it’ll, it’ll be awesome. [00:34:36] I think so Be focused on that. And then that’s pretty much it, our other affiliate marketing plugin. We don’t have any new, crazy, huge features that one’s pretty well built out. So we’re kind of just adding things as customers request it kind of getting feedback, fixing bugs, obviously here and there. [00:34:52] So. [00:34:52]Matt: [00:34:52] Well, I’m going to do a new segment, which I have. I haven’t done segments in my podcast in, in literally years, but you know, there’s all of this [00:35:00] WordPress consolidation happening. I’ll predict that you will get acquired by. Insta in a year. That’s, that’s my prediction because what’ll happen is Chris lemma from liquid web will come knocking on your door and say, Hey, this is a great plugin that would work amazing with our hosting stack. [00:35:18] And then you’ll take his offer and bring it back to the kids, the guys, and say, Hey, remember me, I get this offer from your competitor, Chris. Wouldn’t you rather buy me instead. So I’m gonna, I’m gonna throw that out there on May 27th as we [00:35:31] Brian: [00:35:31] record it. Well, I can’t tell you, I don’t mind sharing. We’ve had multiple offers already. [00:35:35] And I’m pretty, probably every plugin developer has at this point. But the thing is we don’t want to sell because we don’t want to work for other people again, that’s, that’s the reason we quit our jobs was so we don’t have to work for other people and have a more chillax, like, if I want to leave in the middle of the day to go get food, I can do that. [00:35:52]So. Just cause he worked from home for another company, it still doesn’t mean you can like your schedules that July sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. [00:36:00] [00:36:00] Matt: [00:36:00] Well, you, you just respond to Chris and say white Nia chillax check. I want chillax bucks. That’s what I want. I want it. So I don’t have to work for you. And then I can take a couple [00:36:07] Brian: [00:36:07] of years off, but the, the one thing people might not realize about those acquisitions is that. [00:36:12]A lot of times you can’t just step away because a lot of times they won’t have developers that understand your plugin or like there’ll be a long lead time to where you can step away from. And so, like, that’s something not either of my my brother and I are interested in, but yeah, you never know what’s going to happen five years from now. [00:36:29]Liquid web has been smashing up things left and right. Cadence. Good. Yeah, the list goes on and on. It does actually worry me a little bit as far as what WordPress is going to look like, like five, 10 years from now. Like, is it going to be more just like Google, Amazon, Facebook? [00:36:46] I You’re just going to have these huge companies running everything and no more little small guys anymore. So. It’ll be interesting to see what happens. We’re going to Brett and I are my brother and I are just going to chug along until we ride the wave until we maybe if, until it [00:37:00] ends or so. [00:37:00] But but yeah, it will be interesting to see what happens. [00:37:04]Matt: [00:37:04] Yeah. I think not to go into another segment, which I call the tinfoil hat segment is the I think. Jetpack and automatic and Matt have sort of brought this a little bit. More to the forefront or, brought it upon themselves kind of thing. [00:37:20] When you see Jetpack doing absolutely everything. I think when I interviewed him, he might’ve called it like a market correction. I see that as just big dominant player, rolling out a feature that small player can’t compete with from everything from CRM to CDN to whatever, everything. [00:37:39] Literally in jet pack. And this will be the natural reaction to web hosts from web hosts because web hosts look at that and they go, well, we see what’s coming. You’ll just in another year or so, make a click and host your free WordPress site on wordpress.com with a click of a button. A lot of web hosts are going to get scared from that or of that. [00:37:59] Right. There’s [00:38:00] just this quick mechanism. They have to start to connect in, right. Or serve static. You serve your site static with Jetpack CDN, right. And which is all already, almost there kind of thing. And there’s less of a need for that host and their plans and all this stuff. So yeah, I can definitely see this all happening. [00:38:17] It’s going to be interesting to see how we react and, that’s why I always say it’s fine to start at a foreign plug these days who cares because someone’s going to acquire someone and then they’ll, you’ll just slide right into that next spot and say, Hey everybody, I’m here to. I, come and get me there’s plenty of opportunity to, [00:38:32] Brian: [00:38:32] at least at this stage actually chatting. [00:38:34] I won’t say who, but chatting with another plugin developer that was actually asking my advice about an acquisition, like, and they were running into the problem of how to scale to the next level, essentially. And like they were running into things that I’ve dealt with myself as far as like, how do we handle all this tax stuff, all the VAT stuff, all the, they’re a smaller team and they were wanting. [00:38:57] They were just getting inundated with all these random things that [00:39:00] like, if you like take an acquisition, you do get the benefit of they handle all the taxes, they handle all the accounting. So, there are definitely advantages to say, like, maybe you don’t want to go work for another company, but like maybe, maybe your day would be easier because all you have to worry about is, oh, okay. [00:39:17] I can keep helping code the plugin, but I don’t have to worry about any of the other crap that comes, comes with it. So, there’s another, yeah. [00:39:23]Matt: [00:39:23] Yeah, we eventually, we eventually see these, these founders come back around, right? They, they do their year stint or two years at, at the company, whatever the contract states and they’re back again, developing something, All over again. [00:39:34] I, really depends on, on your taste as a founder and as a business builder, Brian Jackson, everybody, you can find him well, you can find them in a lot of places. You can find that perfect matters.io, Nova share.io forge media.io. You can find them at those three websites anywhere. [00:39:50] Brian: [00:39:50] Yeah, I, I pretty much live on Twitter. [00:39:52] It was just Brian Lee Jackson. You’ll find me Bri and, and yeah. Send me a tweet or DM or if you’re ever in Scottsdale, [00:40:00] Arizona tweet me, we’ll meet up for coffee. I try to meet up anyone that twists me here. I always meet them for coffee. It’s kind of like a little thing I like doing so genuine in the area. [00:40:08] I’d love to meet you. Hm, [00:40:09]Matt: [00:40:09] cool man. Everyone else. All right. put.com. airport.com/subscribe to join the mailing list. Don’t forget to tune into the WP minute podcast@thewpminute.com. We’ll see you in the next episode.

Grandpa Bill talks about nutritive vitamins Like Jojoba Oil and -the science behind organic jojoba oil's remarkable skin and hair benefits. most skincare and haircare products available today are actually formulated with harmful chemicals that can cause a variety of health issues.If you think your skin is aging too fast, or you’re struggling with some of the common skin problems could mean that you have a heavy metal problem that needs to be dealt with. That’s why I want you to know what skin problems to look out for and how to protect yourself daily. Your skin is your largest and most visible organ, so it’s often the first place you can see clues about the state of your health. For example: Dry skin could be a sign of too much aluminum (from anti-perspirant and food containers products) Dark circles and puffiness under your eyes might mean multiple heavy metals are taking a toll on your liver or kidneys... Rashes and itchy flare-ups have also been linked to heavy metals like nickel and copper Even pale skin has been known to be caused by arsenic and other heavy metals And these are just the tip of the iceberg. Grandpa Bills Grunts & Groans Dopamine & Mood How Dopamine Controls Motivation Grandpa Bill welcomes one and all Thank You for being here! GB talked in a previous blog entry about Dopamine & Endorphins .Today I continue talking about our behavior and how our behavior is the catalyst makes us tick heart brain connection neural highway Etal. Decades of foibles, misnomers, inquiries always preconditioned by cultural assumptions and preconditioning for decades. This is yet another attribute of dopamine , a gift that allows the body to calm and repose itself, more importantly your brain!! Dopamine can allow the body and ones true inner being to work in tandem with the inward and outward coherence and connection that is truly innate with ALL humans in the womb! Dopamine in low dopamine measurements will promote low motivation - high dopamine equals high motivation - Dopamine is the oil of your body's engine that keeps things smooth flowing for the adrenal glands. Sometimes we need a tune up if you will! I You’ll know if you are in what I call the ‘dopamine dilemma’ when you find yourself compulsively seeking things/experiences outside of you in order to feel “normal” - the ability to enjoy simple and subtle experiences of life is diminished due to extrinsic motivation overriding intrinsic(internal) satisfaction. I’ll keep going deeper into all of this in upcoming posts and podcasts - Close your eyes, meditate, listen to your heart, take a deep breaths, and stay within yourself to practice calm and repose it will increase your releasing amounts of dopamine, and its frequency with good practice join me!https://holisticbill.wixsite.com/mysite/blog Mothers Day Special Show+ https://bhsales.vpweb.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bhsales/message

There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day: And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores, And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame. (Luke 16:19-24) 232 Brother Cox, not long ago, was setting on my runway before we put the…after we had the rocks there, and he picked up a little, old fossil, and he said, “Brother Branham, how old is that?” 233 “Oh,” I said, “chronologically, you might say it’s ten thousand years old. Some kind of a little, old sea monster that lived at one time, a little sea animal, might have lived way back in the ages gone by.” 234 He said, “Just think how short human life is to that life.” 235 I said, “Oh, but, brother, that thing has an end, but the Life that we have in Christ has no end. That may live two or three forevers, but it’ll never have Eternal Life, ’cause Eternal Life comes from God alone.” 236 Eternal, “He that heareth My Words and believeth on Him that sent Me, hath Eternal Life and shall NEVER come to the judgment but passed from death unto Life.” There you are, you get Eternal Life by being a believer. An unbeliever has life forever. An Eternal…a believer has Eternal Life, and cannot perish because It’s Eternal. 237 But a believer, he will go…An unbeliever will go through the world, he’ll have miseries, woes; what he calls having a big time, “whoopee, having a big time.” Women, wine, and big time, he thinks he’s going on. He’ll die, he’ll go into a lake of fire and brimstone which burns, where burning is going on forever and forever, and maybe for a hundred million years his soul may be tormented in a lake of fire and brimstone. 238 I…You say, “Will it be just like regular brimstone?” I believe it’ll be a million times worse than that. I believe you couldn’t describe it by fire, by a literal fire. The only reason it’s put “by fire,” that fire is the most consuming thing that we had. It absolutely consumes and destroys everything, fire does. Well, then, it’ll be in there, but you’ll have a soul that’ll have to be punished through some kind… 239 Now, you have to watch the word fire, because the Holy Ghost is used “the Holy Ghost and fire”; ’cause Holy Ghost fire burns sin out, see, and makes clean. 240 But this fire, it comes from hell, it said a “lake of fire.” And ever what it is, it’s a punishment with torment. The rich man lifted up his eyes, being in hell, and said, “Send Lazarus with a little water on his fingers, to put on my lips, for this flames are tormenting me.” Don’t think there isn’t a burning hell, and a literal hell, there is. If there’s a literal devil, there’s a literal hell. 241 But, you see, everything that’s perverted has a end to it, because it finally must come back to that purity and holiness of God. And God is Eternal; and if we have Eternal Life, God is in us, and we can no more die than God can die. There you are. 57-0925 - "Questions And Answers On Hebrews #1" Rev. William Marrion Branham ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Order your own copy of the Family Altar at http://store.bibleway.org --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ten-thousand-worlds/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ten-thousand-worlds/support

Will Schuester, this is your tape. We gotta do it, ya'll! We gotta talk about Mr. Schue. For part 3 we'll be diving into Will's story from season 5-6. At the end, we take all of Will's featured songs and reveal the final rankings based on voting from both hosts as well as anyone who participated in the song surveys! For part three, you'll hear #15-1 of Will's song rankings.   The 40 songs up for discussion in the rankings are: Solos: 1x01: Leaving on a Jet Plane 1x08: Bust a Move 1x08: Thong Song 1x10: Don’t Stand So Close To Me/Young Girl 1x17: Ice Ice Baby 1x21: Tell Me Something Good 2x07: Make ‘Em Laugh 2x08: Sway 2x22: Still Got Tonight 3x03: Fix You 3x12: A Little Less Conversation 3x22: Forever Young 4x15: In Your Eyes 6x13: Teach Your Children Duets: 1x05: Alone (with April) 1x10: Endless Love (with Rachel) 1x16: Fire (with April) 1x16: One Less Bell/A House is Not A Home (with April) 1x19: Dream On (with Bryan Ryan) 1x22: Over the Rainbow (with Puck) 2x07: Singing in the Rain/Umbrella (with Holly) 2x10: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (with K.d Lang) 2x14: One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer (with Coach Beiste) 2x15: Kiss (with Holly) 2x19: Dreams (with April) 2x19: Nice to Meet You, Have I Slept With You? (with April) 3x06: You and I/You and I (with Shelby) 4x15: You’re All the World to Me (with Emma) 4x16: Bye Bye Bye/I Want it That Way (with Finn) 5x07: Cheek to Cheek (with Sue) 5x10: Danny’s Song (with Emma) 5x12: Raise Your Glass (with April) 5x17: N.Y.C. (with Sue) 6x07: Same Love (with Unique) 6x10: The Final Countdown (with Sue) 6x13: The Winner Takes it All (with Sue) Group Features: 1x02: Gold Digger 2x02: Toxic 3x16: Night Fever 5x05: Blurred Lines 5x06: You May Be Right Follow us on Twitter: @choirroompod E-mail us! Feedback, ideas, fact-checks, anything! choirroompodcast@gmail.com Want to help financially support the show? paypal.me/choirroompodcast

Will Schuester, this is your tape. We gotta do it, ya'll! We gotta talk about Mr. Schue. For part 2 we'll be diving into Will's story from season 3–4. At the end, we take all of Will's featured songs and reveal the final rankings based on voting from both hosts as well as anyone who participated in the song surveys! For part two, you'll hear #30-16 of Will's song rankings.   The 40 songs up for discussion in the rankings are: Solos: 1x01: Leaving on a Jet Plane 1x08: Bust a Move 1x08: Thong Song 1x10: Don’t Stand So Close To Me/Young Girl 1x17: Ice Ice Baby 1x21: Tell Me Something Good 2x07: Make ‘Em Laugh 2x08: Sway 2x22: Still Got Tonight 3x03: Fix You 3x12: A Little Less Conversation 3x22: Forever Young 4x15: In Your Eyes 6x13: Teach Your Children Duets: 1x05: Alone (with April) 1x10: Endless Love (with Rachel) 1x16: Fire (with April) 1x16: One Less Bell/A House is Not A Home (with April) 1x19: Dream On (with Bryan Ryan) 1x22: Over the Rainbow (with Puck) 2x07: Singing in the Rain/Umbrella (with Holly) 2x10: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (with K.d Lang) 2x14: One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer (with Coach Beiste) 2x15: Kiss (with Holly) 2x19: Dreams (with April) 2x19: Nice to Meet You, Have I Slept With You? (with April) 3x06: You and I/You and I (with Shelby) 4x15: You’re All the World to Me (with Emma) 4x16: Bye Bye Bye/I Want it That Way (with Finn) 5x07: Cheek to Cheek (with Sue) 5x10: Danny’s Song (with Emma) 5x12: Raise Your Glass (with April) 5x17: N.Y.C. (with Sue) 6x07: Same Love (with Unique) 6x10: The Final Countdown (with Sue) 6x13: The Winner Takes it All (with Sue) Group Features: 1x02: Gold Digger 2x02: Toxic 3x16: Night Fever 5x05: Blurred Lines 5x06: You May Be Right Follow us on Twitter: @choirroompod E-mail us! Feedback, ideas, fact-checks, anything! choirroompodcast@gmail.com Want to help financially support the show? paypal.me/choirroompodcast

Will Schuester, this is your tape. We gotta do it, ya'll! We gotta talk about Mr. Schue. For part 1 we'll be diving into Will's story from season 1-2. At the end, we take all of Will's featured songs and reveal the final rankings based on voting from both hosts as well as anyone who participated in the song surveys! For part one, you'll hear #40-31 of Will's song rankings.   The 40 songs up for discussion in the rankings are: Solos: 1x01: Leaving on a Jet Plane 1x08: Bust a Move 1x08: Thong Song 1x10: Don’t Stand So Close To Me/Young Girl 1x17: Ice Ice Baby 1x21: Tell Me Something Good 2x07: Make ‘Em Laugh 2x08: Sway 2x22: Still Got Tonight 3x03: Fix You 3x12: A Little Less Conversation 3x22: Forever Young 4x15: In Your Eyes 6x13: Teach Your Children Duets: 1x05: Alone (with April) 1x10: Endless Love (with Rachel) 1x16: Fire (with April) 1x16: One Less Bell/A House is Not A Home (with April) 1x19: Dream On (with Bryan Ryan) 1x22: Over the Rainbow (with Puck) 2x07: Singing in the Rain/Umbrella (with Holly) 2x10: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (with K.d Lang) 2x14: One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer (with Coach Beiste) 2x15: Kiss (with Holly) 2x19: Dreams (with April) 2x19: Nice to Meet You, Have I Slept With You? (with April) 3x06: You and I/You and I (with Shelby) 4x15: You’re All the World to Me (with Emma) 4x16: Bye Bye Bye/I Want it That Way (with Finn) 5x07: Cheek to Cheek (with Sue) 5x10: Danny’s Song (with Emma) 5x12: Raise Your Glass (with April) 5x17: N.Y.C. (with Sue) 6x07: Same Love (with Unique) 6x10: The Final Countdown (with Sue) 6x13: The Winner Takes it All (with Sue) Group Features: 1x02: Gold Digger 2x02: Toxic 3x16: Night Fever 5x05: Blurred Lines 5x06: You May Be Right Follow us on Twitter: @choirroompod E-mail us! Feedback, ideas, fact-checks, anything! choirroompodcast@gmail.com Want to help financially support the show? paypal.me/choirroompodcast

英文歌The Day Went Away教唱（1）如果要问哪一部爱情电影让我最为感动，我会毫不犹豫地推荐《恋恋笔记本》。每一对恋人的邂逅和热恋都是那么美好。但是这部电影中的诺亚和艾莉的爱情故事却是轰轰烈烈。有一种爱情，叫做一见钟情，诺亚第一次在游乐场邂逅艾莉的时候，就告诉自己：这辈子，就这个女孩了。有刚刚开始的不信任，到最后二人的热恋，这一切似乎都是顺理成章的。那个梦幻的夏天，艾莉在在诺亚那学会了自由，得到了欢笑。然而在艾莉父母的阻挠下，相爱的两个人，就被分开在夏天结束的那一刻。随着诺亚的365封信被偷偷藏起，艾莉在7年后终于放弃了等待。就在她要步入教堂的前一天，突然在报纸上看到了诺亚曾许诺给自己建造的白色房子。一切记忆，全部苏醒……这部电影，对于爱情的刻画，是那样纯粹，真实，让人动容。电影中，艾莉与诺亚分开的那一刻，也让人不禁想起那首《The Day You Went Away》。今天我们就来学唱这首歌。《The Day You Went Away 》是挪威组合M2M 演唱的一首歌曲。收录在其首张专辑《 Shades Of Purple 》中，这首歌不但红遍挪威以及整个欧洲，在中国也有很高的知名度，中文版的由台湾歌手王心凌翻唱的《第一次爱的人》。歌词发音技巧：Oh, oh, ooh噢~Well, I wonder我想知道Well I连读Could it be?这是我的幻觉吗Could it连读it t省音When I was dreaming 'bout you baby当我梦见你时When I连读You were dreaming of me你的梦里也有我dreaming of 连读Call me crazy有人说我疯了Call me blind有人说我被爱情蒙蔽了双眼To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time经历了这么多却还执迷不悟suffering is 连读is s省音stupid after all of 连读Did I lose my love to someone better你的那个她比我好吗Did 连读better t美式浊化And does she love you like I do, I do她是否也似我一样爱你And d省音like I连读You know I really really do你知道我愿意为你付出一切know I连读Well hey, so much I need to say嘿，想说的太多不知从何谈起much I 连读 need d省音Been lonely since the day从你离开的那天起The day you went away我一直与孤独为伴went away连读So sad but true多么令人心碎的事实sad d省音 but t省音For me there's only you我的心里只有你there's only 连读Been crying since the day自从我们分离The day you went away我日日以泪洗面went away连读Go on. Yay... Oh...让我继续说下去Go on连读

Matthew 25:14-30  I You are the steward of your life   I Pastor Ruben Guerrero Expository Series:  The Passion Week Of Jesus fmbcbellflower.org

In the third of our series of Glee character studies, we're here to talk about all things Terri and Shelby... the common theme here being "Beth's mother and Beth's almost-mother". At the end, we take all of Shelby's featured songs and reveal the final rankings based on voting from both hosts as well as anyone who participated in the song surveys!   The 7 songs up for discussion in the rankings are: 1x19: I Dreamed a Dream (with Rachel) 1x20: Poker Face (with Rachel) 1x20: Funny Girl  3x02: Somewhere (with Rachel) 3x06: You and I/You and I (with Will) 3x07: Constant Craving 4x19: Next to Me (with Rachel)   Follow us on Twitter: @choirroompod E-mail us! Feedback, ideas, fact-checks, anything! choirroompodcast@gmail.com Want to help financially support the show? paypal.me/choirroompodcast

Bible Reading: 2 Timothy 3:14-17 I wish we didn't have family devotions right after breakfast every day, thought Jordyn. She especially wished she could skip them on days when she was late getting downstairs and had to wait till after devotions to eat breakfast--and that happened quite often. One day when she was late, she decided to ask about it."How come we have to do this every single day--even when I'm really busy?" she asked when Dad ended his prayer. Instead of answering her question right away, Dad picked up the cereal box and held it out toward her. Before she could take it, he pulled it back. "Ohmaybe you don't want breakfast today," he said."Of course I do!" Jordyn exclaimed. "I'm starving!""I see." Dad handed her the cereal. "Well, I don't suppose you'll be eating lunch today, will you?" Jordyn looked at him in surprise. "Why wouldn't I? You know I always take a lunch to school or eat in the cafeteria.""Oh, that's right. Well, what about dinner?" Dad asked. "Do you plan to eat dinner today too?""Dad!" Jordyn was beginning to get irritated. "Why are you asking all these questions? You know I always eat all my meals, including dinner.""Yes, I know you always have in the past," Dad said, "but don't you think it might be a good idea to give up eating on busy days?""Give up eating?" Jordyn repeated, pouring milk onto her cereal. "When I'm busy, I need food even more than when I don't have much to do. We talked about that in health class. So why are you" Suddenly she stopped. "Oh," she said slowly, "you're trying to tell me I need a time of devotions on busy days too, aren't you?""Yes," Dad said with a smile. "Perhaps it's even more important on busy days. Spending time with Jesus and reading His Word is like getting spiritual food. We need Him to nourish us with His love and grace each day. Don't you agree?"Buttering a piece of toast, Jordyn nodded. "I'll be on time for devotions tomorrow," she said before taking a bite. Ruth I. JayHow About You?Do you skip meals when you're busy? Probably not--you need to eat to keep up your strength and energy. How about food for your soul? Jesus offers us spiritual food in His Word, the Bible. When we spend time reading what He has to say to us and talking to Him, He nourishes us and reminds us of His love. Find a time that works well for you and spend time with Him each day. Today's Key Verse:Jesus [said], "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.'" (NKJV) (Luke 4:4)Today's Key Thought:Spend time with Jesus each day

Cellular happiness and cellular health depend on our choices. As a doctor of cells, she diagnoses cancer and unhealthy cells. It is her mission is to teach everyone that they hold the remote control to the gateway to their overall health. In a pandemic, health is of the upmost importance, but not everyone explains it in a simple and relatable way. Dr. Silverman has a unique understanding of the deep cellular processes, and believes she has a gift and moral obligation to reach people in a way that empowers them with the action steps they can change their overall health going forward.   Take away:  A.   I/You are in charge of your health. B.   Mental and Emotional health with happiness is the most important key to health and cellular health: smile, meditate, pray.  C.   Take charge of your kitchen and shopping bag: eliminate professed foods and refined foods, mostly sugars.  D.  Stay hydrated and drink clean purified water.  E.   Regular exercise is one of the keys to cellular health. F.    Learn how to supplement your cells: the power of vitamins, minerals, probiotics and cellular boosters.    Dr. Silverman is a former pediatric surgeon from USSR and breast pathologist, upon graduation from UofA medical school and residency.  In 2004, she lost her mother to multiple myeloma, Dr. Silverman started learning holistic medicine: nutritional dense foods, mind health, power of exercise and essential supplementation. She is a teacher of proactive health and is on a mission to teach health and choices of health to thousands and thousands of people. From healthy life choices to healthy cells.    CONTACT INFORMATION: https://askdrsilverman.com  YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy5XNT83el4qOsTn1aq8SyQ Facebook group HUGS with Sveta: https://www.facebook.com/groups/234274397872176   Here is how to obtain the Deep Clearing Protocol (DCP) mentioned during the show http://bit.ly/33z81AE To book a FREE 15-minute consultation with Tyhson Banighen use this link https://www.timetrade.com/book/68YZ1 PRODUCED BY: Infinite Wellness with Tyhson Banighen www.TheWellnessShow.ca www.WideEyedVideo.com  SPONSORED BY: www.TheWellnessAcademy.ca www.TheWellnessStore.ca www.tyhsonbanighen.ca

What kind of being is the sporting human being? For Professor Gunnar Breivik, a human being is the homo movens and the homo ludens: a playful and active being that explores the world and its own possibilities. Our guest explains key ideas in Heidegger's work in Being and Time while also arguing that the ways of ‘worldmaking’ disclosed in sport are more ontologically diverse than Heidegger's classic text opened up for.We explore the four constitutive relations identified by our guest (‘I-Me’, ‘I-You’, ‘I-Society’ and ‘I-Nature’) and their typical manifestations in sport.And finally, we explore what kind of 'things' are 'meaning' and 'meaningful life' in Heidegger's work.Gunnar Breivik is Professor Emeritus in Sport Social Sciences at the Norwegian School of Sport Sciences, where he was Rector of the School 1999-2005. His pioneering work in philosophy of sport over several decades has covered a range of areas including studies of intentionality, knowledge, skills, and other aspects of human experience and action in sport. Moreover, he has conducted many empirical studies in sport and physical activity from psychological and sociological perspectives, including studies on personality in high-risk sports.

“Welcome to TechTime Radio with Nathan Mumm, the show that gives you the "Hummmm" Technology news of the week. I’m Nathan Mumm and today we’re talking about Top 5 Stories, The Hacker and many more segments, Welcome to the Jungle- with Co-Host Mike Gorday. We also have our [Whisky Review] at the end of the show, so make sure you listen all the way through to see what Whiskey Brand is our selected as [Pick of the Day].” Top 5 StoriesAmazon CEO Jeff Bezos agrees to testify before antitrust hearingTickets for the Online-Only Pokémon Go Fest Are Available for $15 Niantic/NintendoMicrosoft Teams Lets You Upload Custom Background Photos for Video Calls1. Twitter Wants You to Stop Retweeting Crap You Haven't Read1. Github plans to replace racially insensitive terms like ‘master’ and ‘whitelist’ Github"THE HACKER" - SegmentSix Former eBay Employees Charged with Aggressive Cyberstalking Campaign Targeting Couple"Two Truths and a Lie" - SegmentAnd Pick of the Day Winner - LAW DOG WHISKEY- - Episode 1 - Intro – Music : Coming to you live from studio six in Seattle, keeping you up to date on technology while enjoying a little Whisky on side with leading edge topics, along with special co host to navigate technology and segmented, stylized radio program information that's gonna make you go Hummmm. Now sit back, raise a glass and welcome to TechTimeRadio with you host Nathan Mumm . Nathan Mumm: I'm Nathan, Mumm and today we're talking about top five stories in technology, We got a great segment called “The Hacker” and many more. So welcome to Episode one. Welcome to the JUNGLE. We're talking with our co host, Mike Gorday. We also have our whiskey review at the end of the show. So make sure you listen all the way through to see what Whisky brand is are selected pick of the day. So as we started off, we have drink segment number one. We have Liz more single malt. Ah, Scotch Whisky, this is what we have for our first drink, Section one. Then we have our Bullet Bourbon, Frontier whiskey, Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey that we have distilled. So that is our drink. Segment number two. And Mike, you said that you were interested in this one.Mike Gorday: Yeah, I'm a bourbon guy.Nathan Mumm: Your bourbon guy. All right, that's gonna be excited. And then we have for option number three. We have Law dog, and it's a mo whiskey. So this is distilled locally here in the Snohomish area, So welcome. I think we're going to start out for shot number one. So I am gonna take a shot of the single March single malt Scotch whisky, take a little sip. How's it smells? Smells good. Smells good. Although all alcohol smells good, though, doesn't it? That's true. That's true. All right, I'll see that. That's not bad. That's a That's a nice little sipping. Yeah, I You can tell we've done even those Episode one. It's a little bit has gone through this, so I've tasted a little bit on the side a little bit, soMike Gorday: that's a good tasting, Scott.Nathan Mumm: It's not bad. All right, so at the very end of the day will have a pic of the day, and that will be exciting. Hopefully we're are still standing by the time we have our pick there. Yeah,

Has anyone ever introduced you before giving you more credit than you deserve or making you look better than you actually are? If God introduced you, He would do a far better job than you or anyone else could ever do. Who am I? You are who God says you are!Download the study guide here.

Has anyone ever introduced you before giving you more credit than you deserve or making you look better than you actually are? If God introduced you, He would do a far better job than you or anyone else could ever do. Who am I? You are who God says you are!Download the study guide here.

Sheneisha sits down to chat with wellness lifestyle enthusiast and author Tonya Kinlow in this special Sunday episode themed around managing COVID-19 induced stress. They talk a good bit about the practice of meditation, Tonya offers three tips about what we could be doing to help manage our wellness during the pandemic, and she also talks some about the impact this outbreak will have on our minds following its eventual end. Connect with Tonya on LinkedIn, and check out her website, remarkablewellness.us.Interested in finding out more about the TKI Remarkable Wellness Journey? Learn on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.You can click here to browse Tonya's books on Amazon.Find out how the CDC suggests you wash your hands by clicking here.Help food banks respond to COVID-19. Learn more at FeedingAmerica.org.Visit our website.TRANSCRIPTSheneisha: What's up? Sheneisha here with Living Corporate, and today we'll be discussing managing COVID-19-induced stress. We have a very special guest. Our guest is a Wellness Lifestyle Entrepreneur, A Woman in Technology, a Certified Health & Wellness Coach, a Blogger, and an Author. Her three books, A Year of (ME) Mindful Eating to Improve Wellbeing, The 10 Days- A Wellness Retreat for Personal Transformation and A Wellness Journey are all dedicated to health and wellness through mindful living. She writes a weekly blog, Mindfulness Matters, raising awareness for living a holistically healthy life. An avid foodie and mindfulness enthusiast, she left Corporate America in 2016 to launch the UGottaEat app, creating a virtual marketplace providing much needed fresh and healthy meals into local communities, and a platform for food sharing. UGottaEat is dedicated to improving the overall health and wellness of society. She also launched TK Inspirations offering Remarkable Wellness Transformation Coaching, group Wellness Journeys and inspirational meditations talks based on discovering wellness through purpose, and how we together can improve the overall health and wellness of our world. Before becoming an entrepreneur, our guest was a Finance Executive with a corporate career spanning over 26 years. A crippling car accident involving her children led to the awakening of her spiritual journey. She takes great pride in being from Washington, DC and a graduate of THE Florida A&M University. Her greatest joys are her children, Evan and Taylor, and her husband, Chef Craig Stevens. Let’s welcome our special guest Tonya Kinlow! Tonya, welcome to the show.Tonya: Thank you. Thank you for my introduction.Sheneisha: It is fabulous, as it only should be being a Rattler.Tonya: Yes! Oh, that's so exciting. I love my FAMUly. Absolutely.Sheneisha: Yes, and it's so good to have you. So how are you?Tonya: I'm good. You know, I'm like everybody else, surviving this virus, a new way of life, but, you know, I really try to keep it positive and be a light for other people. So in that way I'm doing well, healthy and happy.Sheneisha: Yes, I love that. See that? A whole 'nother logo. There go another business, Tonya. [both laugh] Tonya: Let me write that down... [laughs]Sheneisha: So Tonya, I've given the intro. Can you tell us - who is Tonya Kinlow?Tonya: So, you know, many years ago I probably would have said just what you said. I would have said what I do, things like that, but now--it's funny because one of the first questions I ask when I do my morning meditations is "Who am I?" You know? "What do I want? What is my purpose?" These essential questions. "What am I grateful for?" So it's not what I do but who I am. So I can say I am a spiritual being living a human experience, and I am a seeker, you know, seeking truth and wisdom and ultimately happiness and inner peace, and in that way we're all alike, you know? We all want the same things. I think I just sort of transitioned and transformed over time to sort of when I got out of corporate and started thinking about life in a bigger way that it just became my goal. Like, who doesn't want to be happy? Like, I think everyone's goal should be one of happiness. So I've started to focus more on the spiritual part of me versus just the human part, which is where there's a lot of power. So I would say, aside from what you just presented about me and my background and where I went to school and where I'm from, who I am is a spiritual seeker. I'm looking, and my job, my role, my purpose is to use my gifts to make the world a better place. So I'm uniquely me. I'm a woman, a mother, mentor, entrepreneur, spiritualist. I practice compassion. I'm funny. I got a loud laugh. I am really smart, people tell me, and I'm just a little bit of a diva, and that's me. [laughs]Sheneisha: And you know what? I love all of it, all of it, and I love how you made the point, or emphasis, on the difference between who you are and what you do. That's important. That's so, so important. I think a lot of times we get that mixed up. Could you share more insight about TK Inspirations? Like, how did you enter this space of wellness transformation? But let's start first with tell me about TK Inspirations.Tonya: So TK Inspirations is only a year old and we've done a lot. About a little over a year, maybe a year and a half ago, I was finishing my second--my second and third book, because they sort of accompanied one another, and it's called The 10 Days. So I was talking about these seven intentions, a way of living life, that I have discovered over my lifetime that really can help you overcome any circumstance that comes before you. Like, it just takes your mindset, your way of living, and it's a practice, and so I developed these seven intentions and I wrote a book about it, and at the same time I decided to get a certification for being a health coach, because I felt like I wanted that, you know, certification behind my name and the technical aspect, and that was more, like, about, you know, your insulin levels and carbohydrates and proteins, the really more practical, so I was able to combine, as I do now with everything, right, the practical human side with the spiritual side, and they both--and then align them. I did that. So they were coming out. We self-published and then got it on Amazon, and we were okay, and I went on--last March, a year ago--on a cruise with my sorority sisters. I had a big anniversary celebration and I led the morning meditations and they--we started having a conversation and they loved the idea. They said, "Everybody needs to know this now." So from there I started doing wellness journeys and coaching and just talking to people about these principles and teaching these things, and I did two wellness journeys last year. They're, like, each 60 days long. I do a talk every week. So it just grew, it just blossomed, and meditation is one of the intentions, and it's just been very liberating. I actually have now--I feel like I have, through these intentions and through this journey, created the life that I want. Because I've gone through divorce, as you mentioned my kids had a really bad car accident. I've had some very tough things, as we all have had. The beauty is though when you learn how to overcome these things. I've learned. I've survived, like we're gonna survive this virus. I've survived. I know how to overcome things, and I was able to say, "Ah, here's the things that got me through," and now I just love to help other people make that same connection. So it's all inspirational, all transformational, and so it's about remarkable wellness. So that's how we got that going. And so that's TK Inspirations. Really, actually I didn't even think about it, like, we're celebrating an anniversary right now. A year old.Sheneisha: Well, happy anniversary. If I could sang, I would definitely you hit that with that "It's my anniversary." [both laugh] I would, but congratulations on TK Inspirations's anniversary, and thank you so much for entering this space and giving us something to help us even go beyond surviving, and with that being said, Tonya, I'd like to dive into this COVID-19-induced stress. That's what I'm calling it, y'all, COVID-19-induced stress. So what are the symptoms of stress, and how can we manage it during a time like this?Tonya: So stress manifests itself in a million ways, but some of the really obvious or major ones are--so the physical ones are headaches. A lot of people are tired now, even though they're not even really doing anything, you know? Fatigue, lethargy. Just something not being right. That's sort of the physical thing. Sometimes people break out in hives. The emotional piece is more you can recognize it when you're overthinking, your mind is racing, you have fear and guilt, you know? There's, like, this anxiety, this edge, and just a lack of motivation and a lot of uncertainty. When you're feeling this way, that is stress. And then there's also some really unique things I wanted to point out that people may not be aware of. Anything that's sort of off-kilter or that's different, it's stress, which is an indicator where, if you're paying attention to it, then you can manage it or you can learn how to live with it. So for instance, for me I've been having time shifts, and I've talked to two other people this week who are having the same issue. Like, the time... time doesn't make sense anymore. I think only 15 minutes has gone by and it's been an hour and a half, or I think it's been 3 hours and it's only been 20 minutes. Well, that's an exaggeration. An hour and a half, you know? Or I'd wake up in the middle of the night and I'd close my eyes and wake back up, I think it's 15 minutes, and it's time to get up, right? So these feelings of, like, nothing is the same, that is also an indicator of stress. Not as harsh or harmful as, you know, migraines and things like that. That's just sort of a wake-up to remind us that everything is changing right now. So I think that's interesting. I don't know if people think about time shifting or if you can't recognize--like, people don't look the same to you. Like, if you've ever looked in the mirror and said, "I don't recognize myself anymore," you know? Times of high stress, things just don't seem--it's like a vertigo or an imbalance. Those are all indicators of stress, so those are things to look out for. Anything off, anything that's not working out. And then the question is, as you said, what do you do about it? And the first thing is to be aware of it. So I have to be aware that I'm being stressed out. "I'm thinking too much. I'm getting these headaches," and then you can do something about it. So the first step is, like, just checking out your own body, checking out your own behavior. Oh, I forgot to mention short tempers, you know? Attitudes. Some people just don't handle stress well, and those things, you have to find it in yourself, see it, and then you can react to it. That's the first thing. If people just walk around blind, it is awareness. So I would say the big one thing is to think about what you think about. That is the first thing. What are you stressed out about? What is it doing to your body?Sheneisha: That is a really good tip. I didn't even think about what to think about.Tonya: Mm-hmm. It's awareness, right? Because stressors are--we just let our bodies run wild, you know, with thoughts and worries and fears, but if you start to think about what you're thinking about, there's an infinite amount of things you could be thinking about. Why just choose the negative ones? Once you start recognizing that, it just makes a world of difference.Sheneisha: A big, big difference, especially if there's so many things already being projected on you from family and friends and just this whole ordeal right now from what you see in the media. It's easier to revert to the panic like everyone else when you can honestly just take a moment for yourself and have that carved out time where you meditate and reflect on things that are impacting you. I know a lot of people right now are probably going crazy sitting in the house with their families and their loved ones. You can look at this side of it and just say, "Hey, this is that vacation. It may not be exactly the vacation that we wanted, but this is that time when we can really embrace one another and learn some things about your family that you never knew before," you know?Tonya: Yes, exactly. And that's another thing, when people are getting a little of, you know, that cabin fever, and so within--it builds, the stress builds, because then what? People start to overeat or eat whatever they can get their hands on because they don't want to go out, you know? Or drink too much or binge watch TV, you know? So there's some things that we might do without awareness that are just negative, it just sets us back. It stresses us out more. Now we may have gained weight. Sheneisha: Ooh. I have to manage this. I done went on Amazon and got all this stuff for a home gym. Like, Lord, keep these pounds down. And it goes even into my next question. Like, what are three tips you would like to share to those during this quarantine? Like, what should we be doing?Tonya: Yeah, okay. First is to give yourself a break. Now, this is overarching. This is overarching. We're all in the same boat. None of this is anyone's fault. So the ability to pay bills, the inability to go outside, all of those, this is--we've never felt the oneness of the world and the universe before. We should feel it now. So one is to just give yourself a break. Let the guilt go. Let the fear go. It's all going to be okay in the long term. So that's just, like, a big mindset, but for practical things also to do at home that, you know, we can't use--I always say we can't just use the same things that got us here, so we, as humans, we focus on our five senses, but we are spiritual beings. There is a bigger power that this is the time to tap into. This power is changing the entire world right now. Like, there's a virus spreading. People are working together, you know? People are being kind to one another. There's a whole shift that's happening. You know, tragedy breeds kindness sometimes. It's a shame that it has to be a tragedy. So there's a lot. So creativity is the first thing. We don't have to be competitive now. We're not at work, you know, competing for that next promotion or racing home 'cause we gotta beat the traffic, you know, to get home and make dinner for our kids. This is the time where you can let that competitive side go and bring out the creative side. So do some home projects, do some do it yourself. I've been making shea butter. I just sent my best friend a package with some whipped shea butter with lavender. It's beautiful, you know? And it's something nice to do in the afternoon and I could send it to someone. Journaling, you know? Do things internal or find, you know, something creative. Then the second thing is positive thinking. I just said there's a million things you can think about, so instead of focusing on "Oh, there's no toilet tissue," well, there's facial tissue? You know? Sheneisha: See, I told y'all about this toilet paper. Nobody is listening to me. People are going crazy about this toilet paper. But yes, please proceed.Tonya: Yeah, it's crazy. I literally went to six stores one morning. I really needed it, like, last week. Like, six stores, and then finally I found--I waited for a truck to deliver. It's crazy, but I wasn't mad. Like, I don't understand. I don't understand. I guess I do understand the psychology a little bit, but I tend to say, "Well, I was just picking up some more packs of facial tissue. I just need some tissue." [laughs] You know? Or anti-bacterial stuff. I looked up how to make it. I made some at home. Like, instead of angry and upset about the negative, it's about shifting your mindset to a positive space, to a creative space. You can find solutions, and if you don't it's still gonna be okay. And then the third thing is the biggest thing, and this is one of the seven intentions - meditation, and I mentioned it before. It's one of the biggest things you can do to calm your mind. So what produces stress is this chemical, cortisol. Meditation calms--it blocks the production of cortisol. So the things that we do, the spiritual things align with our bio-chemistry, with our body, and when we are aware, when we start to recognize and manage those things... if you meditate in the morning, it will make your whole day go better. I mean, that stillness and time with spirit, God, the universe, however you call it, will cover your whole day, and it brings that awareness to you. So those three things, those three tips. It's a shift for people because we're so busy and crowded throughout our days that we don't take the time to be creative, to pick back up that hobby, to read a book, you know? To think about creative solutions instead of complaining about problems. So these three things--and the meditation thing, if you can just do one thing, start a meditation practice. That's a stress reliever. It's physical and spiritual. It's, like, a magic elixir.Sheneisha: Yes, meditation, and this meditation goes into - how do we stay focused, right? So we're meditating, right? How do we stay focused while experiencing a pandemic like COVID-19? And even things outside of just this, 'cause there's so many things that can impact your day and induce stress. How do we stay focused during this time? Would meditation be the key?Tonya: Medititation would be one of the keys, one of the main keys, to healthy--because when you start to... and I talked about those seven intentions, when you start to be able to overcome any situation, that means any situation. We all have deaths and relationships and sicknesses and illnesses. That is how life goes. People come into our lives, people leave. So we always have these. The question is how do we overcome them? What are the tools? How can we be equipped? Meditation is one of--it's the biggest--and to me that's the alignment of the physical and spiritual, but there's other things. You know, exercise, self-care, journaling, getting enough rest, but the one thing that you can do to stay focused, I'd say on the practical side, is you set your mindset. It's all about a mindset shift. Again, now, the mind works--there's this executive function, so whenever you put yourself in the context of a situation, you make better decisions and that situation is easier. What do I mean by that? When you're at school, you know you're at school. It's about the teachers, your friends, your homework, what are your assignments. That's what you're thinking about. You're not thinking about your family reunion when you're at school. When you're at your family reunion, hopefully you're not thinking about work. You're meeting your cousins, you're cooking out, you know? "What are we gonna eat?" You're all in that context. Right now we need to be in the context of health and wellness. So everything that--if you can just focus everything that you're doing, bring it back to "Is this good for me?" Is it "Am I washing my hands? Am I keeping a good distance? Am I being mentally healthy?" Everything will naturally come back to the context of health and wellness instead of putting everything in context of the virus. That's gonna make you fearful. It's gonna make you stressed out and depressed. So yes, the virus is part of it, but the main context, the main focus is health and wellness. "How do I stay healthy?" Not "How do I avoid sickness?" "How do I stay healthy?" It's the same thing, but that positive outlook and energetic transference is in your mindset. So everything--we're not at school. We're not at work. We're living our lives. We're in our home. But we are in the mindset of health and wellness. That will go so far, awareness to health and wellness.Sheneisha: So with this health and wellness and it taking us so far, what impact do you think the coronavirus will have on our minds following this, like, months beyond, hopefully when all of this is over and it's resolved. What impact do you think it wil leave upon the minds?Tonya: I think we have a great opportunity to find ourselves, find the world, in a better place. I think we would be missing an opportunity. Once we get through this, it's gonna be like spring. Like, we're going through a winter. We're going through a setback. It's like the world has the flu or the world is going through a divorce. The globe is going through a tough time, but like every time, once you get over it there's an emergence, and I think that we're gonna find that we're gonna work together, we're gonna have a lot of compassion for one another, because a lot of us are suffering losses financially, physically, people, and we all feel bad for one another, so what's gonna happen is there's gonna be a lot more compassion for one another, and that in and of itself is gonna make the world a better place. We're gonna be cleaner. We're gonna be more caring about our fellow man, all of those things, after we get through it, but we can get through it positively. I always say, "You create the future in the present." What we do now determines the world that we're gonna be in. If we start wars now, fighting over beds and, you know, things, if we begin a war, it's gonna take a lot longer. If we go negative and close our doors to helping other people it's gonna take a lot longer, but what I see right now is a lot of compassion showing up, and if we can learn how to get over this hump positively, the world will be a better place on the other side.Sheneisha: Yes, it definitely will. It definitely will be a better place, and that can start with y'all stop withholding all that toilet paper, how about that? Let's start there. #1. [both laugh]Tonya: I went to the store today. I told you I made shea butter. I also made hand sanitizer, and when I was at this little store, the guy, he said "I'm almost out of hand sanitizer, oh, my goodness," so I took him a bottle today and I just gave it to him. He's like, "What do I owe you?" I said, "Nothing." I felt so good.Sheneisha: See? Look at that, y'all. It's things like this, you know, to show that oneness that you spoke of earlier. There was a need, and you went and used the resources you had to help meet that need, and hopefully that can just be paid forward to so many others. And you know what? That plays into your wellness lifestyle. So what are some misconceptions that people of color about wellness lifestyle?Tonya: Oh, my goodness. So many from different places. I can say, you know, on the spiritual aside, because I'm talking about--and I call it remarkable wellness. It is your body, your soul, your spirit, your emotions. It's everything, because it's all interwoven. So, you know, if someone says, "Oh," you know, "I'm not into that wellness of the spiritual side," they think you're trying to take them away from church, you know, or something. That's why I say, you know, "If you don't believe in God, or if you do, or if it's the universe, however your words are," but we get real protective and scared around that, so that keeps us limited sometimes. When it's working out, it is--sometimes people just don't want to get their hair sweat out. [laughs] We gotta get away from that. Like, a healthy body is meaningful, but people have a conception--they feel like it's not fun, and being healthy and strong and energetic is fun, you know? It's like, if you gotta go upstairs to get to your bedroom, that's just what you gotta do. It's not good or bad. So we have these sort of notions around just not wanting to change what we have, and I think this is a good time for us to start getting past that, you know? People say, "I don't have time to work out. I don't have this, th--" We've got time now. There's plenty of time, and this would be a great--what if we all came out on the other side of this in--I'ma just say four months. Who knows how long it's gonna take? Three or four months--healther than when we went in because we actually had time to sleep, to walk, to whatever? So I think that we just need to change, we just need to sort of break some falsehoods, and my main thing is it's all about awareness. I mean, once we start focusing on the negative side of everything and start focusing on the positive, it sort of takes care of itself. If you have a wellness mindset like we were talking about, then you're gonna want to work out. It's only 30 minutes, you know, 45 minutes. It's because of your mindset. You know it's gonna reduce your stress. It's gonna make you feel good. You're gonna be in that wellness space. So those are a few things that I think we gotta sort of turn the switch on.Sheneisha: Yes, turn the switch on to this awareness, this health, being in this space, and talking about being in this space, can you speak to the live meditations? Like, you've done recently a few live limitations, and they've held impact that has helped change the community.Tonya: Yeah. So I mentioned meditation a few times, and I'm not, you know, a master or anything, but I'm very connected, and so I know how good it makes me feel. What I tend to do is bring people together. So the last meditation was on protection and healing, because that's what we need now. And, you know, wherever two or more gather there's a lot of power. so the live meditations, bringing people together. I did a Facebook Live, and I'll try to do them weekly. When you bring people together in that oneness, in that energetic space, it's powerful. It's really powerful when you do it by yourself anyway, but when you bring people doing these things together [?] it makes all of the difference. And what meditation does for me is it makes me more connected. So everything is energy. Everything is vibrational, you know? Whether you can hear it or not, like a dog hearing a whistle or radio vibrations, you know, everything is actually that energy that we transfer. It's what sort of connects us. So examples of how this invisible or spiritual or whatever we want to talk about energy works. You know when someone's staring at you from across the room. You know when someone's standing too close to you behind you, when someone walks on you. You know when you call someone or when you think of someone and then they call you. Those things aren't coincidences. That is how the energy works. And so with meditations and those practices, you learn how to control some things. You learn how to control your thinking. Because you only want positive energy to come to you, so therefore you only put positive energy out, and that's what I do in my meditations. I am putting out positive energy, and sort of we're all lifting the world. We're building a sacred space, almost like protection. Like, you can almost just envision, like, a bubble around you, and it's just the light of God. It's all things good. No conflict. Peace. Inner peace. Happiness. Wisdom. Fulfillment. That's all we need. That's all we want. And so when you can continue to practice energetically, how does that feel? How does that feel when you give that out to other people? How does it feel when you receive it back? These are the live meditations. So we create a sacred space of health and protection and, again, if I'm happy and I can make you happy and then you make someone else happy, we've just made the world a better place just like that. So that's what I try to do in my meditations, and we'll keep up pretty much topically. Right now it's clearly all about protection and health, but I think it's also about transformation. We're going through a transformation, and I think we can do it positively.Sheneisha: Yes, we can. How can we join y'all on Facebook? What's the Facebook page where people can tune in?Tonya: TK Inspirations, and I have [?] on Instagram, but we definitely did the Facebook Live, and I think we're gonna just definitely do it weekly. So definitely join my page, follow me, and it's TKIRemarkableWellness on Facebook, and it's @Remarkable_Wellness on Instagram. And I just started a YouTube channel too, and I will be doing some meditations on there, and we talk about these seven intentions more and daily affirmations, everything positive. So whichever gets your, you know, mode of social media, I try to show up in different ways.Sheneisha: And speaking of showing up, what's the YouTube channel?Tonya: TKInspirations. Yep. Tonya Kinlow TK Inspirations. That'll bring me up. And we just launched it right before this started, this virus started, so it's very new, so I would love to have more conversations on there. Sheneisha: Yes, guys. Make sure you check out TK Inspirations YouTube, TKIRemarkableWellness on Facebook. Tune in. And Tonya, are there any key takeaways you'd like to share with our listeners?Tonya: Yes, that I think the biggest thing that we're gonna take from this is what I would call whether it's the law of attraction or, you know, giving and receiving. Stay mindful of that, because what you put out you definitely always get back, and so that's why it's important to put the stress away. Let it go, because what you're wanting is a clean, healthy experience, and we're all connected, so just that connection, positivity, positive energy. With that and practicing that every day, you can overcome anything. And again, I talk about seven intentions, and when you put them together in a certain way they are so powerful. Each of them by themselves is powerful, like meditation or exercising, but when you put them together in a certain way it is extremely powerful. All positive things, no negatives. Always positive.Sheneisha: Yes, all positive. All positive vibes all 2020, please.Tonya: All day long.Sheneisha: Yes, I love it. I love it. Tonya, do you have any shout-outs? Family, friends, YouTube, Facebook? Any shout-outs?Tonya: Yeah, I want to shout-out to all of my wellness journeyers. I want to shout-out though to all of the people on the front lines right now. The health care workers, pharmacists, doctors, PAs, RNs, everybody. The policemen, everything. Just the oneness, and then all of our families. Certainly I shout-out FAMU. We on the phone, right? [both laugh] And to my family, my kids and my husband for sure. And I just want to say that we are about to launch a new wellness journey, so I want to shout-out the TKI Wellness Journey. Like I said, we did two last year. It's 8 weeks. Every week we talk about one of the intentions. I do a one-on-one coaching with everybody, and it's interactive. We do it on Zoom so people can ask questions. So when people are thinking about what to do at home, this would be great. Like, take the wellness journey with me, and we're gonna launch it... it's gonna start April 13th. And the other thing we didn't say is my website. All the information is on remarkablewellness.us. So that's coming. I would love to see more people be a part of it. And during that we do this 10 days--it's like a retreat. We're working together. I'm doing guided meditations. Like, we're just doing a wellness retreat at home. So I think it would be a great time for more people to participate in a wellness journey. That's my big shout-out.Sheneisha: Yes, y'all. Make sure y'all participate. Be active, especially in a time like this. Oneness, positive vibes, being united, helping each other out, just putting forth all things positive going forward.Tonya: All things positive, and there's no need to be bored. Like, this will be a great, positive addition, and again, we all come out on the other side better than we went in.Sheneisha: Yes, so much better. So much better. And thank you again for highlighting all of those on the front line, our nurses, physicians, pharmacists--all my fellow pharmacists, physical therapists, respiratory therapists. All of those on the front line, thank you guys so much for what you all are doing. Police officers. Even those at Auto Zone. Shout-out to Auto Zone, you know? Helping those out when they need things. So just thank you guys in this, everyone. Thank you all so much.Tonya: Oh, my goodness. The people at the grocery store. The cashiers. Oh, my goodness.Sheneisha: Yes, cashiers. All grocery stores. Thank you, Wal-Mart. Thank you.Tonya: Stockers, yes.Sheneisha: Yes, everyone. Truck drivers, thank y'all, because I need my food and my tissue. Everybody, thank y'all. UPS, FedEx.Tonya: We're a thankful people. This energy, and this--it's just gonna make it better, and I'm so thankful for you for having me on here. I'm very happy about this. Thank you for having me. It was a great conversation. I feel good hearing you.Sheneisha: You know, and vice versa. Thank you so much, Tonya. We greatly appreciate it. And that is our show. Thank you for joining us on the Living Corporate podcast. Be sure to follow Tonya Kinlow on LinkedIn and her website, Remarkable Wellness. You guys heard her YouTube channel. Make sure to follow in. And her Facebook page, TKIRemarkableWellness. Make sure you guys follow her. All things positive energy. And make sure to follow us on Instagram @LivingCorporate, Twitter @LivingCorp_Pod, and subscribe to our newsletter through www.living-corporate.com. If you have questions you'd like for us to answer and read on the show, make sure you email them to us at livingcorporatepodcast@gmail.com. This has been Sheneisha, and you've been listening to Tonya Kinlow, founder of Remarkable Wellness, TKI. Y'all, check her out. This is great, great energy, and just thank you again, Tonya, for being here with us today. Thank you.Tonya: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Do you have something you are afraid of? Something holding you back, something you want to break through, grow past, and leave in the dust?! Check out this episode focusing on external perceptions that we can break through to discover and enter into our fullness and experience more of how real the LIVING GOD of the Bible is! Philippians 4:13 “I (YOU) can do all things through Christ who gives me (YOU) strength.”Connect and send me your feedback!Instagram: His Word Your Story PodcastLinkedIn: His Word Your Story PodcastIntro song by, Leadsquid - leadsquidstock@gmail.com

Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. Our show is specifically designed for divas. divas is an acronym for Destin inspired victorious accountable sisters. And we will be bringing guests on our show who will help in our mission to equip and empower a global community of women change agents as we make a positive impact on the world we live in. When we started doing this impact about four years ago, we quipped that we wanted to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others. And as we progress that was our thinking and our intentions and we want to talk about things that are impacting women. So that means we will talk about faith, family, fitness, finance, dude, and a lot of other words that don't even begin with that. So today I'm excited to bring on the show Lucy Mitchell are fierce in beautiful wellness, and I met Lucy through her husband I've been watching her for a little while and have fallen in love with her beautiful outlook on life. Lucy is a mindset and wellness coach site. Colin fitness fanatic food lover look, we got some of those f words in there. And all around personal development junkie she helps women break free from their inner mindset demons and create healthy relationships with food and fitness and define their self worth and find the confidence to live a life of purpose on their own terms. Welcome to the show, Lucy. Thank you, thank you. Well, I am so thankful to have you on the show and you know, it's a little bit of one of those things that I'm listening to what you're talking about and and what your mission is and, and it lines up so much with what we wanted to do and what we are hoping to accomplish with empowering and equipping women. I think it's it's just beautiful. So first off, I want to tell I want you to give us a little bit about what Why this is important to you? Oh, gosh, I mean, I think that I would probably have to go to a little bit of a backstory in myself. I mean, I'm first of all, I'm one of four daughters that my father had. So that in itself, there's lots of events going on in that house with my mother. And in fact, they always had a habit of choosing even female animal that was all about a daddy, there was a glutton for punishment, or he was a sweetheart, through and through. But he did raise him and my mother always did raise us to be very strong willed, very independent woman. And I said something that I've always carried through my entire life and probably proved very difficult and a lot of my relationships that I was not so much of what you call quote, unquote, a submissive woman. I just always do what I want. To do what I wanted out of life, and I wanted all my relationships, no matter what they were friendships, personal relationships, my children to live vicariously through that just, you know speak your truth. Speak your mind and and live your life to the fullest. And I really, it really hit to my core when my dad passed away suddenly, actually yesterday he realized it was five years that cancer took him from us. And in fact I woke up this morning going oh my gosh, I didn't even reflect or or anything about that which is a good thing because that means that we're you know, we're at peace with you know, his passing but I had decided about a couple of years ago. A that that cancer is is one of those that doesn't put the word I'm looking for it's it's it knows no boundaries. It's not just hereditary. It can affect anything. One right and, and that it's really important that we look for the signs and that we pay attention to ourselves. And as women, we spend so much time taking care of others that we don't stop and listen to ourselves and and listen to our own bodies and take care of our own needs. And that's where I decided, you know, that's not okay, we should be able to speak out and take care of ourselves. And so I just started like looking inward and decided I wanted to become a transformational nutritional coach. And I wanted to start working with women and in the pyramid upon women a problem phase of their lives, because that's the phase where we just given up, we have no purpose. We were just, it's all about our kids. It's all about our husbands. It's all about everybody else, and we no longer have a voice and by the time we have a voice, we feel it's too late. And I'm like, I'm techno sister. You have a voice and it's time to use it. And that's what my purpose has been. Is, is taking this drive that I have to live healthier to speak your truth to link arms with other sisters and just, you know, whatever it is, whether it's licensing, whether it's spiritual, whether it's sexual, whether its food, whether it's fitness, no matter what it is, it's like your children will be fine. Take the time to take care of yourself. Exactly where I'm at. Well, I think you bring up a beautiful point because a lot of the times those of us that are in those older years of life in we're not old, we're not dead. We we have a lot to give up, live up to and, and one of the things that I hear all too often is it's not only that they've given up, it's because a lot of times they've been so invested in helping their children. Or their spouse build up their dreams that they forgot how to dream. They didn't they don't know how to dream anymore. And they just don't have the energy to move forward with anything anymore. And a lot of that has a lot to do with Fitness, Health, the food you're putting in your body, your hormones, and like you said, they give up. I can relate to this because about a year or two ago, I was pretty much in the same place. I was. Okay, something has got to change. This is not right. Some I feel like something's hijacking my body and and what I found is there's a lot of women out there that feel that they just have to suffer silently. And I love that you're saying that's not true. I agree. And I think the other F word that we're all set is fear. Mm hmm. Exactly. Here I have the women that I have talked to is fear not a change but of making a change because they have gotten so stagnant are so used to a certain routine, a monotonous routine of doing things. It's, I want to say and I mean I'm 45 years old I've had three children I have four of my stepdaughter, but I've had four children and mentally and physically I do not feel 45 but I've also made that my passion drive like not because I remember watching my mom grow up and personalities eyes is probably today 65 right and and even then some 65 there are 45 I mean, all just depends on on your your drive to be something different, but I remember there was a cartoon and I'm gonna really date myself but way before I was born, Black and White, probably from Disney, but it was just as monotonous black or white. Whether they were just a repetitive cartoon like they had briefcases and they were just walking slowly along the line to work. And it just, it was just repetitive. They're just doing the same thing. over and over and over again, in no power, there was no life, there was no activity. And I feel like I see so many women feel that that's what they're supposed to do. Get up, feed the children take care of the husband clean the house, go to bed, right. And when I reach out to when I reach out even to some of my close friends about like, hey, there's this amazing women's conference downtown and we're going to put samples of face creams on our feasts and, and and you know, sample whatever is in here from concept. Well, I'm not no I don't and, and, you know, what will people think? Right now Like First of all, let's see if we can find something new and something done and and like let's get away from the kids away from the husbands and you know we're old I've discovered this amazing you know, like I lost 35 pounds in August give a listen to my body and I and I, you know I it's like to share all the different things that have worked for me for stepping outside of what the norm is. And I want to link Everybody with me I want to take all my sisters with me. And there's so much more there's so much fear. Well, yeah, and I agree with you on that. I think I think we have a lot of women that I listen to and and I'm surrounded by a bunch of strong women so a lot of my friends are kind of in the same boat I am their husband goes to work their husband goes on business trips, they just keep on keepin on they don't let their life be dictated by their their spouses schedule or their kids schedule. They still make time for friends. They still make time for their business, they still make time for living their life. But I realized that there's a out circle of women that I'm connected to, that that's all their life revolves around. It may be for the season, it may be that that's all they know how to do. And one of the things that it like it goes back to that fear word, word, you know, they don't want to rock the boat, so to speak. But I think it also goes back to how we're raised and what we're seeing and what's emulated for us. You talked about your dad being outnumbered by daughters Do you know? Well, he probably didn't, he didn't probably run the house, the house probably ran, you know, by the daughters more than then he would have liked to admit it admitted. But there's that that sense of confidence and ability that he instilled in you to where if your kids or your husband move on, yes, you're going to be you know, to business or to A career path or off to school, you're not going to be wrecked by that because you've got things of your own to do. It doesn't mean you're sitting waiting for Eric to come home. It doesn't mean you're waiting for your kids to come home for your life to be complete. And that's the part that we're wanting to women to realize is you are a complete human being with or without them. They are just, they are your life. You love them. It doesn't disqualify their role in your life, but they are not your your wholeness, and we want to talk about your wholeness. Yeah, yeah, exactly. My mom and dad were married for 44 years. And my dad did work. He worked. He owned his own landscaping business and then he was also a longshoreman. Very tough job. Yeah. So my mom did raise us Basically solely, I mean, our celebrations were around food. Because God was home, right? Um, you know, and it's funny when we were just together. My sister my younger my baby sister just had a baby. And he's where we sold. I just went home to go and meet him for the first time. And we were reminiscing and we were talking about how I remember when it was like Danny was home we celebrated with hungry man. You could put it in your body. Yeah, the look of joy on my dad's face wanting to meet that sounds very state hungry man dinner with the apple cobbler and the water down mashed potatoes. But it was all of us watching him eat and sitting with him because that was a rare key. Right? And what I look back on and see is that there wasn't a lot of light and color in my mom's face because what What he did in those hours to work for his daughters and his wife versus the hour during the day of what she did to keep the children alive in the house of flow. I saw that color changes we got older because she had more time and she was able to start doing things for herself. She ended up becoming a professional chef for a very small company. When I think it was close to me more moving out and still to my younger two sisters. Wow. And it was one of the things I took with me even later on was that, okay, it is okay to find your own interest outside like you're talking about outside of your role of wife and mom. And what I loved was that my dad always encouraged that. And my sisters and I have been very, very fortunate to marry husband to have always encouraged and supported any of our ventures and I believe me for I've had many years, for 21 years, I went to college for 10 years to either become an accountant, a business something and blatantly Was it a master's degree in education, I was going to be a teacher. Oh, wow. And now I'm going to become a I'm a transformational nutritional coach. Um, and God bless my husband for supporting every single one of those ventures. It but it's it was for me it was going back and like, knowing that my mom had that supportive my dad because she supported him. So just keep the house afloat, like keep food on the table. and whatnot. Exactly. And, and, you know, I think, I think we think, how do I phrase this? I think a lot of the times we as modern women think our role has changed so drastically from the quote unquote, olden days, but when you look back and You know, I'm going to use the Bible as a reference here. If you look back in the days of Abraham and Sarah and Isaac and all of them, the men went off, they went off to tin the sheep, they went off to hunt, they went off to gather, you know, they did all of that. And the women were left to take care of the home to take care of the children to take care of, you know, things that are holding the fort down, so to speak. And even even as recent as yesterday, it was Texas Independence Day here, somebody was talking about that as well. Excuse me, but in talking about that, women are afraid nowadays to be left behind by their their spouse or their children, and we're hearing more about the empty nest in their lives being just totally distraught over their children going off to college. And I'm not gonna say that I don't miss my kids. I'm not gonna say that at all. But what I'm going to say Is it opens up the doors for us to spread our wings and we need to be focused on spreading our wings not hiding away and into a shell of ourselves. It's funny that you say that because I have this is my philosophy and I have my mother philosophy of your viewers or your listeners think this is harsh. It's my philosophy. Once you're 18 you graduate you go, right need to go you need to spread your wings. Now, I understand if there might be a maybe a there's an emotional or a non mental but there's some type of a disconnect you haven't connected yet. I'll give you a little bit of time back just gonna kick you out and send you have you fend for yourself against wolves, but I came home one day and they were boxing by the German moms and she got a time we got to go. Right I was almost 19 she had found me a place. I had a job. I think that you know, but that was how I was raised. I do not understand. And I think I've done a post about this somewhere. I do not understand mom's neighbor say, No, no baby, you don't need to you need to you want to live here till you 30 you use you stay there done. Right. Right. Your job. It's your time now. Yeah, I agree. And I was raised in a very strict Christian home, and I read the Bible five times, through through, I did not see anywhere. Then it said in any fine print. You know, they can stay as long as they want. They need to go and you know, create their own household and, and live their lives. You raised them. And now it's your turn. I mean, I have the nice Do we have it like a countdown on them. Turn I've been raising children since I was 12 years old. I am right. It's my time. I want time with my husband. I want it to be just we'll check on you guys. We might even give your address Well, I think I think there's a term called leaving cleave, you know, leaving cleave to something else, not us. Do not give me grandchildren. Raising children, younger sister, so do the world a favor and get a dog grandchildren. And so I'm technically a grandmother. And they look at me and I and my girlfriends are like, really? I'm not saying I don't like babies. I love babies. Right? Like people. In today if you need to travel you need to see the world. You need to contribute any to You need to contribute to charitable causes you need to help other you know, other countries. Now we need to we need to go to Nashville we need to help Nashville right now like right. so horrible what happened in the middle of it. There's so many more important things that need to be focused on then Okay, you're 18 go get married and have children. Exactly. They go and do that they can't fend for themselves and then they come back well in and and i agree we've had we've had a we've got a son that's in the military. We've had had daughters that went off to college, they came back for a period of time and we're we were at the same place of Okay, the clock has started. What What is your action plan what you know, will be a safe place for you to land come back and land if you need to, but yeah, what's the action plan? What's the end result? I kept resetting the timer on the microwave. When my son came home from college. I was like, go take it. And and I, but they appreciate that they think it's hard, you don't understand they're like, No I do sweetheart, things have got changed just because it's, you know, it's 2020, the millennial state of mind is not a mind, I understand, because you do not understand the hardship that those of us who are our older actually went through. Well, and I think I think we also understand how important it is for them to have their independence and to, you know, it's not even just about me for for for my kids, I want them to be strong and solid and independent on their own right, and making good decisions and making a good income and making, you know, good life choices. I don't want them feeling like they're under my wing the whole time because I haven't trained them all these years to stay under my wing. I've trained them to push them out of the nest. Yeah, well And it's like I even told my elder to I have given my mind my body my soul My spirit my everything to raising you and keeping you alive right now trying to invest all of those efforts and energies back into myself. Right? Because I still have the second half of my life and that is equally as important as the rest of your life. So if we're going to roll the dice and mover important at this point, you know it's and and that is I that's what I like to also talk to my clients about it like this is now your time and dive into I really big about faith about whether when no matter what it is, God fear if universe angels whatever it is that you believe in. That is a huge when you lose that you lose yourself, yourself, your sense of self worth, right. And when you tap back in to that through meditation, through prayer through journaling, you're able to kind of like have your eyes reopen to who you really are as an individual, especially as a real woman as a woman. And a lot of times, it's a very uncomfortable process, but it's, it's step one, before we can do any other type of change, it's like, you've got to step back in, tap back into that spiritual sense of who you are, who you were created to be. Right. And, and we're gonna be going to break here in just a few minutes. But when we come back from that break, I want to I want us to talk about the difference between femininity and feminist. I think the feminist word gets, you know, thrown out there and everybody already thinks, you know, angry, bitter woman. But more so than that. I want us to talk about embracing our femininity because that's where our true strength is. I believe and and I love that you talk about this on such a transparent parent level. But I want us to dive into that when we get back from the commercial break so that we can really break that apart just a little bit. And then then we'll go into the fitness side of things after that, but we're gonna take just a couple of minutes to pay for the show with our sponsors, and we will be back in just a second. All right, we are back. And I know we talked before we left for the break in said we were going to come back and talk about embracing our femininity. So So Lucy, let's talk about that for a minute. I know years ago, I went to a women's conference because yes, I go to women's conference, biggest tomboy out there and I still go to women's conference conferences. And one of the ladies was talking about how The color scheme where you had pink for women and blue for men nowadays used to be actually the opposite. Back in the late 1800s to 19 hundred's blue was for women and pink, pink and red were for men. And so we keep mixing things up a little bit. And so when we talk about our femininity I've I left high school I joined the Navy, I worked as an aircraft mechanic then worked in the aviation industry. So in the military, I was called a dude with long hair, basically. But when we go into embracing our femininity, it took me a while to even figure out what that looked like because I had struggled so hard to try and fit in with my male counterparts that I didn't know how to be feminine. And I really didn't understand what feeling comfortable in my own body was and I really did And understand how that led to having close relationships with girls, you know as girlfriends, and what that was all about, because all my guy, all my friends were guys, and then I'm married. And you know my husband and I have this little competition going back and forth because I was trying to compete with him basically for his role in the family. And it ended us in a hot mess. But I want I want to hear a little bit of a taste because I've watched some of your Facebook posts and I've watched some of your talk about femininity and embracing it and really just discovering yourself and I want to hear how you feel to best translate to women the importance of embracing their femininity. I, first of all, I can honestly say I'm right there with you. I had more guys But I do call friends I just don't understand. I don't understand women. And again, I don't know if it was because of being raised by my gentle father I'm not sure what it is, but I know for for me I I can see I'm both sides of that sword in a sense that I can handle my own. But I am a I am I'm a I am a woman I am sweet, I am kind I am sexual I am I incense sensual, I am in tune with my my body and my senses and I'm comfortable in my own skin. I I don't feel and this again is my own opinion based on who I have seen and dealt with who is considered a feminist femininities the harshness that I'm not kidding. competition with my husband in the fact that who has the bigger package or however you want to work that right? Um, there is a role that he has and he is supposed to have. I want him to have that role. That's why I married him. He is our protector. He is our fighter. He, he's the man of the house. But if he needs a warrior right beside him, I am that woman. Right? Doesn't need another man. I am that woman. I am his Joan of Arc. As I like to so eloquently put that and I think in my messages when I am doing my posts or doing my stories is I like to I think I had done one A while ago where I was describing a road. So what from fairway you look at a rose and the roses Beautiful, beautiful, soft, pedal, scented beauty Mostly comes in a variety of colors, whether it's a tight flower or beautifully blooms, but if you get too close, you are going to get pricked by a thorn. Now, is that for the feminist part? Or is that the Thor's disorder protecting her femininity, right? It's all in how you want to look at the flower. But for me, I feel like all women are beautiful roses like we are. We have our authority to protect ourselves, but we are they're beautiful, we are feminine and there's no reason to hide that. to, to be ashamed of that. Is that's what that's how we were created. And not in a sense I mean, that's that's my, that's where I stand on that part of it. I mean, I feel I raising a daughter, raising two daughters when one's out of the house. I look at my daughter and I'm like, I want you to be as strong and I bought her this bracelet. And I said, always remember to adjust your crown. And don't have mine with the train thing. But always remember to adjust your crown. And remember the queen who gave it to you. Hmm, something along those lines, and she was amazing. I just want you to understand that no one is no one is to not knock you down. Because you need to remember where you came from, right who your queen is. Because people knocked me down. had a lot of horrible things happen. I've experienced a lot of things. I've experienced a lot of judgment. Even in the course of that I'm in now I get a lot of messages about some of my posts of like, I don't understand why you talk the way you talk or how you feel the way you feel. And there and it's a lot of times it's from women. And I just looked at my daughter and I said But it doesn't stop me. I'm just gonna get back up and I'm going to keep spreading my message because somebody needs to hear it. Somebody somebody else Can you benefit from what I have to say? Just like someone out there will benefit from what you have to give. And and I wholeheartedly agree with that. You know, one of the things that has happened over the years we started divas impact, like I said about four years ago. And right off the bat, we started getting a bunch of hate mail, mainly from feminist organizations, a few from guys, because they mistakenly thought that we were going to do this as another male bashing organization. And quite honestly, I've told everybody this is absolutely not a male bashing organization. We realize the need for men in our lives, just as we hope men realize the need for us in their lives. We we don't I'm not as concerned about what the guys of the world are saying about us women. I'm more concerned with what we are saying about ourselves and each other. You know, we you know, when You've got examples out there, like Real Housewives of bad behavior or bad girls clubs or whatever that's going on out there. They have the, the opportunity to, to send a such a empowering message. But they don't, you know, because drama sells. And when I was, you know, kind of whispered in my heart to start this organization and and get things going I was like but God I don't like women. I really don't like women their main they're nasty, you know and he's like, Yeah, you've had your episodes too and I'm like, okay, you know to Shay. And I remember a few years ago, whenever, whenever the Donald Trump and Billy Bush news broke, I got a lot of hate mail. You know, why aren't you denouncing Trump and why aren't you denouncing billy bush and why aren't you denounce? In and even with the Harvey Weinstein and, and all of those, and I said, because I'm not focused on them, I'm not letting them dictate my worth, I'm not letting them dictate the worth of all women out there. I'm working on me, I'm focusing on me. And, and and the women that I speak to, and I encourage and I empower and let them know that, yes, bad things can happen to you. But you don't have to live in a victim role anymore, you can live victoriously, and that's, you know, what we're focusing on is walking women out of those dark places. And so for the feminine femininity side of things, what I've also realized is, the more I've embraced my femininity, the more intimate my relationships have become with my girlfriends, the more intimate relationships have come with my family and with my spouse, it because I'm loving myself first before I learned how to love Anybody else and, and to me, that is the difference I see between, you know, saying I'm, I'm into feminism, or I'm into my femininity and and opening myself up to really love myself now loving yourself has a whole other series of side effects, I guess is what you'd call it kind of like a rolling blackout. There's just you start loving yourself and then you go, Oh, I love myself. So I'm gonna go to the doctor and get checked out and make sure I'm healthy. Oh, I love myself. The doctor says I could I could work on fixing these things. So I'm going to work on fixing these things to make sure my body is optimal. And I'm going I'm going to change the way I eat. We've got Kim Slater who does our magazine and and does a lot of the things behind the scenes for us. You know she's in that season right now. We'll have her on the show here in a few weeks. To talk about her health journey that she was flung into, as at the beginning of the year with a massive heart attack and, and in the lessons that she's having to learn for herself, but that whole femininity thing feeds so much of your life. It's what builds up your confidence that gets your husband looking at you with a little bit of, Hey, what do you do? And he's doing it in a way because he's more intrigued because he sees the woman that he was attracted to in the first place. It's interesting that you say that I'll quickly say that, you know, when I started my mild personal transformation last year, before that, you know, I was trying to help other other women men, it didn't matter. I just wanted everybody to be aware about cancer, you know, after losing my father and other health issues that attributed that I just didn't. My goal was I don't want anyone else to lose up Father a husband a daughter of themselves, like listen to the signs so I'm so like, driven like everybody needs to work out get up cheapest way to eat this much water. It was like what I woke up every day but that was my passion and I was ignoring my own health. I was ignoring my own grieving process I was ignoring my own fleet, my own health but mental health spiritual health all the things and as I I got a I did a post about this is something I can recall but I remember looking at a picture of myself. I think it was this past summer and I was like, I thought I was in optimal health working, working out six days a week, eating 1400 to 1600 calories a real food healthy greens all blah, blah, blah. meditating journaling, praying all the things that when I looked at myself I was pale bloated 45 pounds overweight. I just had to like look in my eyes and I was like, I stopped. And I was like, on this task to help other people, when did I stop and take care of myself first? Right. And as soon as I did, I mean as soon as we got home from that trip, I don't remember we went to sun river something. I immediately called a nutritional coach. But I knew right away my doctor just oh my gosh, yeah, go take a nap, you'll be fine. You know, I was like, okay, it's got to be deeper. And I started working with the nutritional coach and I and I stopped helping all the other people. I put everything on hold because I was like, I really wait. I'm suffering from vertigo. My hands are numb, my feet are numb. These are all things I was experiencing but ignore right because I was so passionate about helping other people live their best life and be healthy so you don't die like my daddy. That I I didn't you know, pay them for myself. But as soon as I did that the glow came back the weight when I found out I was insulin resistant. So Kyle was a huge thing. I was borderline type one diabetic. Yeah, the bad one. Yeah, um, I changed my eating habits. I, you know, we changed how I work out, changed how I slept, all of the symptoms went away, the weight falling off. And my husband even looked at me He's like, Oh, my God, baby are glowing. Right? People like, we're looking at my pictures, like, what filter are you using? Now using a filter, you're glowing, but your hair is shiny. And it was like, and I looked at myself, and I was like, I feel beautiful. I don't think and I'm not ashamed of this. This is what I want. Everyone's like, so I reevaluate everything but it was like I'm taking care of myself and like And I had no problem looking at. And hopefully it's okay to say that I had no problem looking in the mirror naked. Right? Because that's a woman as a woman, especially after you've had children. Right with the lights on girl, right? Ugly bathroom lights on, right? Like, that's hard to do, but I didn't know I was like, I am feeling myself right now. Now I'm not gonna go into a changing room lighting and I'm loving and feeling beautiful. I feel sexy. I still sleep. I feel gentle. I feel happy. Because I took care myself first. Right, feel feminine. And that wasn't a feeling I felt all before that is so harsh, hard, poor like, ready to take on the world and compete with everybody else and that wasn't feminine. I don't know if that was coming. Right. Well and I think one of the one of the things we we hear a lot of the times is or you know, I worked in the faith base area before I started out on my own after leaving the corporate arena and I went from dressing like a dude because I was always in jeans and T shirt and then I went to work in the church offices. And I knew I needed to look female but I was just how do I I was putting the outer surfaces on it was like treating the symptoms without treating the actual cause. And I would put on an outfit that everybody go oh that looks so cute on you and I would feel the most uncomfortable ever. And it had nothing to do with the outfit. It had everything to do with the skin I was walking around in I did not feel comfortable in myself. And you know you're talking about people sending you the hate messages and and then asking you what filters you use. You use and things like that, which, you know, they're thinking You look amazing. But on the other side, they're also kind of giving a second backhanded compliment, you know, oh, you can't look that good person. And I remember when we started getting those hate messages, first thing I did, I stood up, I dropped my laptop down, and I stood up and I did a little happy dance. Because it's getting people off their balance a little bit. It's getting them to look at things through a different perspective. Making them question something for themselves will have so and so can do it then maybe I can too. Or what the heck is Angie, the biggest tomboy, we know doing starting a women's organization. What gives her the right i mean, i i've had women go, Oh, that's cute. I'm like, okay, you know, and now they're going well, how do we get in your magazine? How do we get on your show? How do we do this? I'm like, well, there's a process but we're friends. Okay, but there's still a process. And I'm not doing that to be mean or ugly. But, you know, I am looking for the people that want in and want in at the at the ground level, because that means that they understand the vision and the mission, we're going after they're not coming in with ulterior motives to go, Hey, you know, this is great, but let's do this. And, and let's steer this your vision, your goal, your passion, let's steer it to the right a little bit or to the left a little bit, so it fits more of what we want. No, this is what we're going for. This is our niche. This is what we're working on, is equipping and empowering women period, in a variety of different ways. And they're like, oh, bitch, it'd be so much better if you'd sign on with, you know, this organization or that organization and I opened up the organization's page and it's just male bashing and, and hating on each other and Like, yeah, not what we're about. It doesn't resonate. Yeah. And so, when we start talking to women, I've watched women open up after going through all that they've gone through, I see what you're talking about, you see that physical transformation, the light bulb moment that comes on, and their whole life changes. And in, you know, I've shared before that, you know, being a veteran, I'm tied to a lot of veteran communities and and I'm telling you, my veteran sisters are the worst of it. I love them to death. But oh my gosh, they wear me out, because they are so stuck in being a victim, but touting that they're a warrior, but they're living in a victim role, because they don't want to fix anything. And I guess that's our biggest uphill battle is how do we get them to hear it enough to where finally they get fed up and start doing something about it. Yeah, I know I that's it. That's an interesting question. I'm not sure. I mean, I again grazers to me I have all my outside family was actually own Navy. Okay. My first husband was Navy. I'm attracted to the servicemen and I think I got some army leaves in there somewhere. I'm not sure but my dad did not serve the police officer and then my mom got pregnant but and she was like, heck no, you need to come home every day. But I don't know if it's the year you spend. You know, somebody you're being told what to do, when to do how to do it that when you're out, right of that environment. You're like, what I mean, because I know that was part of the premises of like us starting the Lightfoot media. My husband starting that I mean when way back even when he was doing Your podcasts and things that when we first started this whole thing, it was like helping veterans get started because they spent so many years being told. When when to eat, when to make your bed, where to put your shoes on, when to shoot when to do all the things. And then when you're out, it's like nobody's telling you what to do. Right and when to do it. You don't do anything, but you got to do something. And, and I know that that that was that was helpful for a lot of veteran entrepreneurs with being able to go to Eric and him saying, Okay, this is how you start, but I'm you I can only get you so far. You've got to take it from there. Exactly. That might be it for the women desert you know, maybe that's that mindset of like, okay, switch it just a little bit and and remember what that authoritative voice of you being told what to do, and now tell yourself like, speak to yourself in that. Yeah, I mean, I and I like I said, I I'm just speaking from, from experience, veterans wife. Well, and you've had a front row seat to watch all of that. And do we want to go ahead and give you a shout out there? Because in addition to your hats that you wear for fierce and beautiful wellness as a coach there and leading people there, you've just been named CEO of life flip media, haven't you? Yeah. So yeah, yeah, that that is an amazing thing in itself as well. I asked if they came with a pay raise. He says, Wait, we get paid. Yeah, so tell us a little bit about that for just a few minutes. I'm not sure exactly what to say. I think he just woke up one day with a brilliant idea. No, actually, I think it's it's a great power move for him. Because he was actually wearing way too many hats and I, I think it's a great obviously it's a great move for it to be a women ran and owned business. It's a different type of demographic with a power move. So I know that there was a lot of driving behind that. But he takes a lot of guidance and advice of mine. And I really wanted him to be able to focus on what she's really good at, which is working with our customers. And you know, the me I don't understand that part of the business you know, the media bookings and the article places I that part of it I'm like I have too much going on and this three little head of mind when it comes to business when it comes to making sure that we are on the right path. And that our business plan, our business model needs tweaking or just seen or we're not that's my forte. Right? So we just decided to to do a title change. And and I think that puts us a little bit ahead of the game, especially being a woman. Yeah, having that see I mean, I my LinkedIn is blowing up ever since I changed that. Yeah, we're having a business meeting, in fact today because since he made that announcement, just that I know, but I mean, what we're getting into because I'm like, at the end of the day, this is his baby. This is his dream and his but we talked about it for the last year or so. And I just said when you're ready, then I will not lead you astray. Well, that what that is fabulous. You need to change your LinkedIn. I made it official. Yeah. Did you find out From one of his Facebook Lives, or did he actually tell you in person? He told me in person. But you never know. You know, Facebook or my Instagram Stories like what we're doing what I just saw that she didn't tell me. Oh, I literally in the next room. Yeah, you could just tell reviews. Exactly. All right. Yeah, it's an exciting experience for our business. We've had a massive amount of growth. And I want that growth to continue. So I needed him to be in the right, roll on to focus on that, right. Yeah. It's gonna be good. Yeah. And I think we are going to have him on our leading moment show in a few weeks. I've got to get him to get all the stuff together for us to do that. But having him on our leading moment show, to really talk about how to get started and how to do what he does. And encourage and inspire some small business owners on that page for us. So maybe you can join him when we do that call, but of course, yeah, it'll be a black. Yeah. So we're gonna take another break real quick and we will be back after these messages. All right, we are back with Lucy Mitchell. We are talking about her fierce and beautiful wellness and mindset coaching and all that she does that makes her glamorously beautiful, inside and out. So as we go into this next next segment of our show, what I want to talk with you about is more. I'm going to tell you, this is all purely selfish. I'm going to preface that right off the bat. So a few weeks ago, right before Christmas, peloton came out with that commercial about the bike and everybody lost their flippin mind over it. You know, that was sexist. That was this that was that and I'm sitting here going well, what we didn't See, he was maybe she asked for the bike. Maybe she didn't because you know, quite honestly, I would like a peloton. But my husband kind of refuses to buy me one right now because I made such a big deal at a date. He took me out on one night he took me to dinner as he goes, you want to go to Jason's deli, so not particularly. He goes, come on, we can go get a salad bar. Fine, you know, so we go to Jason's deli, and we get the salad bar and we eat our dinner. And then we go to Walmart, which we had to get dog food or whatever. And he goes back to the bike bicycle section back there. And he's like, Hey, I was looking at these the other day. Did you see this bike? Do you want this bike? This bike would be a fun bike to have. Don't you want? Don't you don't want a bike? I do not want a bike. He's like, Oh, come on. You'd have fun with this one. You'd like this one. Are you sure you don't want this bike? Come on. We ended up walking out of Walmart with a bike that night. So I told him I said the theme of that whole date was Hey, you're complaining about not feeling good. So why don't you lose some weight and ride a bike, you know, eat a salad ride a bike. So we give him grief over that all the time. But my biggest thing is not about riding that bike. It's about I've had some balance issues, I've had some things that I just don't trust, the agility of my body right now. So balancing myself on two wheels is kind of a freaky idea to me, but I like the peloton idea because I feel like I could slowly progress until I got that confidence back. But, you know, you said that you the reason I'm bringing all that up is because, you know, you said that you like to cycle and you're a fitness fanatic and in So talk to me about I know some people that say jump all in, go all in and go as hard and as fast as you can until your body stops you and then there's people that are going, alright, if you're going to fail at that, then you need to ease yourself into So, I know you kind of help people break down their mental hurdles over things like this. So help me break down mine for a little bit. Okay? Nothing like putting you on the spot. the peloton is amazing. Um, and that ad was ridiculous because we don't know the backstory, right? So why people got all on the Tuesday just because she happened to be skinny doesn't mean anything because there could have been a whole mental thing. She could have been skinny because she had an eating disorder. And you know, and so moving her body was going to help this so she could eat real food, there could have been a myriad of things, or it could have been that she had social anxiety to go outside. So she got the bike so that she could like, start to connect with people. There's so many different things that I deal with on a daily basis. I You know, I use a virtual workout platform, through Beachbody on demand. Mm hmm. Because I do work from home so a lot of my workouts are done through that platform. I do have the peloton and then I do love my local cycle bar cycle bar and Tiger get your shout out. But he has always been when I talk to everyone is you start at step one, do you look at a baby and prop them up and tell them to run a marathon? Right? No. Step a step by step. I've been working with my mother who has bad knees and it's always been an excuse. What has not worked out a day in her life. She's 68 years old. She talks every day about losing the weight. And I say okay, Mama. Well, it's, you know, 80% nutrition, it's 20% movement. So you've made your choice. If you want to eat the way you want to eat that by the left Work on the 20% of movement. Maybe it's just you sitting in a chair with one pound weight, and you're doing bicep. Right? And you're just working on understanding the movement and we go up to two pounds until you feel confident and comfortable. You know, or I'll work with other people that say, Okay, if you have a problem with consistency, do not find an eight week 10 week program, because you're going to be done after two days. All right. Start with something that is and there's so many apps out there, I'll backtrack there so you don't have to do just what I do, which is Beachbody. I always say there are so many peloton has a free app and that you can use on any bike on a treadmill. They have weighted programs, they have yoga, they have wonderful meditation programs that I love to use. And there are other apps as well that you could download that has on if you Have a beginner where you start at and that and you start at basically what you're comfortable with. And if it's just one day you conquered that one day you're winning. And you could go on to day two. And there's been many times that I've started over. I mean, I had three babies, I had to be one. Sometimes Mondays every Monday is my day one, especially if you're a football team. Day one, right after the Super Bowl is day one. But I think you know, I you always want to talk to your doctor to start and talk to your doctor about any current medical conditions that you have. And then be you have to have an internal conversation with yourself and be like, how important is this to you, not to others to yourself. Right? What changes are you wanting to see logically, ideally, we want to wake up tomorrow and be 50 pounds lighter, all because we took two steps down the street. I ran a marathon there. Go I should eat 50 pounds lighter, right? It doesn't work that way. I ate a salad. And I bought a bike at Walmart. I lost 50 pounds. Right now, that doesn't work that way. It's a great start. But I but I always say you have to write out a plan and you have to write out a plan that will work for you. And if you can't do that alone, and that's when you reach out to people like me, who says, Okay, we're going to start with just the day one we're gonna do a four week plan. And after you talk to your doctor, you've gotten clear that there's nothing you have stability issues. I'm not going to say I want you to start balancing on one foot if you have stability issues, that's not you're going to get discouraged and defeated. But if you can handle you know, you can go for a 30 minute walk. Walking is one of the most beneficial 30 minutes a day walking is one of the most beneficial kick starters to a weight loss journey out there. Not cycling, not weightlifting. Plain old, angry dog. Well, I think just being outside helps mentally and emotionally and then and then the movement, you start waking up parts of your body that you don't realize were asleep. Well, not only that, but then you're also you're getting if you're, you're getting a break from the kid. Maybe it's a stronger and go for a walk. But if it's, if you're cooped up in the house all day or you've been in an office all day long, you get outside you get the fresh air, you get the oxygen from all of the plants that are around you. You get cute you're around nature, you could put the personal development into your ears and start a good book. Listen to an amazing podcast. I don't know maybe warrior diva out there. Um, you know, and and you're not only working your body, but you're working your mind. Those two working together will kick start an amazing weight loss sustainable journey. Well, I think that's where I start. I think a few years ago I I lost roughly 100 pounds and I did that strictly by walking there was there I changed you know, I'd done some intermittent fasting I had done some other things you know as far as weight loss goes, it was all around nutrition and walking. That was it. And I walked five miles a day. I didn't start off walking five miles a day I started off being winded walking down the street and back but it you know, by the time I was to a good steady pace, I was at five miles in under an hour. But I kept you know, going okay, well I've kind of nailed this I'm, I'm one of those people that are not consistent. So I'm adaptable is my number one strength I'm the Strength Finders thing, which means I can roll with the punches but I always strategic backs it up. So I always have something else. I'm planning in background to if this goes awry, I already know where we're going next. So the whole walking thing was fabulous for me because it helped with the weight loss. It was, whenever I tried to stretch beyond that, I started pushing my limits. And about that time is when the doctor says, you know, you really don't need to be doing any hit right now. Any high intensity, you need to keep it low. Well, that kind of took the wind out of myself and I kind of sunk back into. Oh, but see, I like the CrossFit stuff. I like some of those things. And he's like, yeah, just not right. Now. He goes, let's get some of this other stuff under control. And then we can go in there. And then it just made me feel old and grumpy. And there was a mental game that I was having to battle for a while over that. Because, you know, that was there was almost like I was accepting a sentence that he wasn't even giving me he was just saying, Let's get you to a certain point before we start doing that. And I was like, Well, if I'm not there, I don't want to I don't want to work any harder to get there. It's not coming off fast enough. It's not doing what I want it to do fast enough. And like you said, We live in an instant gratification society, you order in a box, and you drive to a window, and it's there. So we want the weight loss to come off just as fast as that burger is delivered through that window. Yeah, and I think I was talking to a potential client, in fact, just this past weekend, who was like, I have been doing keto for six weeks, and I've gained six pounds and I'm doing CrossFit. six days a week and I don't understand why nothing is moving in. And I said, Okay, well, that's what I'm hearing is what you're doing for the last six weeks isn't working. So we're going to start over and she looked at me and I said, don't get defeated. What I've seen because I have not been working with her and I've been what I would recommend. Okay, continue to CrossFit. That's it. Yes, that's it, you live naked. But women over the age of 40 do need weightlifting. cardio is not as important once you get past the age of 40. Because our our muscles and the way our bodies work, our muscles will hold on to fat. Because there's a fight or flight like, Oh, you don't want to have babies anymore. So we're going to hold on to this fact just in case you change your mind. So that way we have a way to support a baby. And I'm like, when did my muscles get to decide if I'm a child Barry like right yours anymore, like you could release that fat anymore. Done and done. It's the science behind it. So weightlifting expands your muscles to release the fat. It's the right type of weightlifting. If you're doing strenuous weightlifting like crossfitters do and I didn't cross it for two years and my father looked at me and said, I'm finally getting the son. I never had Alright, we're going to stop doing that. Yep. Um, so I was like, okay, it's CrossFit works for for certain individuals, and it is great, but just tone it down, don't need to be deadlifting 75 100 pounds or whatnot, stick with just the barbell, and maybe do just four days a week, if you really love that community in that workout, right? And give your body two days of full rest. And that one day can be a day of restoration of yoga, and meditation of maybe walking or whatnot. And I said, and then we'll look, then we look at the diet. And let's maybe do low carb instead of keto, because keto is not long term. No, it's not. If you're gaining weight on keto, which is meant to put your body in a state of ketosis, you should be losing weight. So something else is going on. And I gave her a list of recommendations that I would you know, I'm not a doctor. I just say I would take this list and talk to your doctor about the certain tests, maybe check if your insulin resistant. What's your glucose level? How's your body reacting to certain sugars, things of that nature? And, and it gave her a little bit of hope but but, you know, you've got to do your research and there's sometimes there's a little bit of adjustment and whatnot that I mean, and that's the recommendation. And actually, she just emailed me a little while ago. And then she'd like to work with me. Because her doctor didn't give her the answers that she wanted. And I wish she got more information from me, which is like, amazing, but it's just like, the information is out there. You just have to know how to educate yourself, as well as know the right people to talk to you. And a lot of times doctors just want to get you in and out. And it's just knowing how our bodies change. But once I found out that our bodies want our money, they want to hold on to that because they want us to still have babies. I was like, no, that's not okay. So, yeah, it's that's what I that's what I tell women. That's how I work with with some of my clients. is just sometimes you just got to read That's the wheel just a little bit and it'll kick start your journey and do it the healthy way. Well, I think, I think you also touched on something else as she was paying attention to her body and listening to it going, Okay, what I'm doing is not working. So therefore, something's off. I need to have another person come in and give me an outside view. Because a lot of times we don't even talk to other people about this. We just kind of suffer in silence. Oh, well, I tried this diet or I tried this exercise or I tried this lifestyle change. It didn't work for me. And a lot of the times, it may be just one turn of the wrench to get you running optimally. You know what in NASCAR, they talk about a quarter turn on the the car could totally make the car loose or tight. You know, and a lot of the times it's fine tuning what our lifestyle is and and it's not a throw it all out mindset it's a let's keep making the adjustments until we find what's working and and I think that's where a lot of people give up is they just go oh well I tried that it didn't work well let it's not cookie cutter it's definitely not cookie cutter. And that's why I share so much of my journey on my social media because that's how she found me on and watch how I went from being so cookie cutter to not sharing too much to them all the sudden sharing this new way, you know, when I discovered what was working for me and then really just sharing that it's it's individualistic, right to listen to how your body is responding to, to certain foods to certain movements. And when the ultimate goal I know for me was that I'm not going To be a diabetic, I that's just not what I want my children to see, that's not the life that I want to live. And this is my time right now to change this. And it goes back to making those sacrifices, you know, as a mom and as a woman, like I have to I have to be selfish right now. Right? Because I can't be a mom to my kids, if I'm constantly having to give myself shot. And I'm drained from all these doctor visits everything and what kind of mom Am I going to be for my children? What kind of wife Am I going to be for my husband? What kind of business owner Am I going to be for my clients and for a company? If I'm confused by this, you know, that I'm now I didn't take action. Right. Well, and I think I had I had a friend a couple of years ago that that passed away and she passed away from a recurrence of her breast cancer after her first recurrence of breast cancer she got healthy, she ate the right foods. She did everything right. And the cancer came back and, and she did have a genetic disposition to it as well as you know, other things that that brought it back. But I heard several people say, Well, if she ate everything and did everything right, and she got the cancer again, then what's gonna keep me from getting it and just trying to shift people's mindset to go that you can't go down that road, we are all created differently. We all have a unique DNA to us, that keeps us keeps our bodies moving. There are things in my family history, you know, I've got diabetes on both sides of the family. So I have to be mindful of that and I have to start putting things in place to to not go down that path. But on the other side of it is I also got a couple of cases of cancer on one side of my family. I could park my boat Go, well, you know, diabetes and cancer, they're in the cards for me. So I don't really need to work out, I really don't need to do this stuff because that's what's gonna get me in the end or I saw them try these things, it didn't work for them, so I'm not going to try them. Even though they're my relatives, I'm still uniquely created. And I it does not mean that it's an end result that I will catch that or that I won't be able to beat it. What what I think I've heard you say most all today in several different ways is taking care of yourself sets you up for so much more. And even if it is an illness that comes your way, you're better prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, for taking that that illness on head on, head on because if you're already out of shape, you're already feeling frumpy, you're already down in the dumps. You're definitely not in the mental and emotional state to take on a major illness, that if you're taking care of yourself in so many other ways, than if something comes out of left field, you're much more better positioned to go in in a warrior stance against that. Exactly. Yep, that is correct. And so, so you also do I mean, we talked a little bit before the break about how you do. You're the CEO of life flip media, you you do this as well as, you know, the fitness coaching and mindset coaching. So you're talking about, you know, feeling comfortable in your skin, not letting fear of missing out, you know, derail you. As we get ready to go into the last part of our show, I want you to kind of talk to us about what is the overall message edge that you really feel like you are here and put here on earth to accomplish share anything you want to share about your story and and how you can encourage and empower other women. You shared so much already it's gonna be a rich rich show but we just want to hear from from you as to what what you feel is your mark in the world and how you can help the women that are listening today. Well, I think I stop by called by many a unicorn. And that's that, you know, one of a kind, type individual. And I really do embrace that label. Because I've actually worked really, really hard to to be what other women cannot be And then turn around show them how they can be. So when it comes to self love, you know, we I know personally I have experienced so many things in my life that have shaped me to who I am today and why I want to help other women, my innate need to help others I was a hairdresser for 21 years I was an accountant, I helping my husband, I've PTA volunteer, room volunteer pretty much you need help moving I'm that person. My Drive was always to make other people happy. And and I realized that the end of the day was to fill the void of the lack of happiness in my own life due to abuses and whatnot that I experienced in my childhood. And in working with a life coach over the last year when I was able to finally understand what self love really meant, and how to forgive Others for what was done to me, I really, there's so many women I've even come across in my life that are experiencing that lack of self love. And they're masking it with food, with alcohol with shame, with abusive relationship with a lack of connection to their face. Blaming the world blaming society blaming others for their experiences. And my whole purpose in life is to use the platform that I've been given and my voice to a let them know it's going to be okay. That it's, it's not your fault. Everything is fixable, everything is figured out a ball. And if you need help figuring out that first step, no matter what it is, whether it's your relationship with food, whether it's emotional weight, whether it's physical weight, whether their spiritual weight whether it's figuring out how to take that first step on a treadmill, whether it's that first step on how to learn how to write a letter to your younger self, to forgive your younger self to connect with your younger self. I'm here because that's that's my that's my purpose now. And and it brings me joy I wake up every single day now hoping I'm going to connect to just one, even if it's just one person, and sometimes that one person is myself. It's like I reconnect with myself in some way I discover something more amazing about myself that I had buried or hidden deep down below. Because when when we carry all those burdens, when we feel like our only soul what job in this world is to be a mom. Or are we have no value as a woman in today's society. Or we've only known what it's like to be in the military. We don't know what it's like to be a veteran or are we were a mom and now we're an empty nester and we have no purpose and we were away for now we're divorced and we have no we have no wives or whatever it may be. You can lose yourself and you can lose that definition of what a What a beautiful woman really is. And that's where I come in. And then unconventional. Just sit down have a real talk over a glass of Chardonnay in our closets and that's what we need to do. kind of way I am not I I'm serious. I mean, I have been there I am sat in the closet with a bottle of Chardonnay. My husband's like what do you do and go away? Right I'm in a moment Hmm. And and it's okay. And and I don't I don't have it all figured out. I am not the leading expert in this you do not see me sitting on Oprah couch. I am one of many in this field. I just feel like we need as many voices as possible right now. Exactly. It's it's a layered approach to one I think, I think a lot of what I've seen you say and I've heard you say, we're watching you on social media and listening to you today is, you know, there's a lot of women out there looking for somebody to be an accountability partner for them to lead them to give them to you know, just actually listen to them and hear them and and you're willing to be that person you're willing to take that task on for them if that's what they need, until I told people for the long This time, one of my best friends I worked with her at the church before and, and we would go to the gym and her name was Kim Yates and we would go to the gym and we'd get on the treadmill and she'd go, I go, Okay, how how long do you want to go? And she goes, I want to go for 30 minutes at a two mile pace, he you know, and I'm like, okay, so I punch that all in, and we get going. And about three minutes in, she's like, I'm really not feeling it. And I'm like, sorry, you said you wanted to go for 30 minutes. We're going 30 minutes left, right, left, right, come on, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, you know, and and we finished the 30 minutes. She'd come to me, I'm like, we're gonna do a five mile an hour pace. You know, this is the incline we're gonna do. We'd get on and about five minutes and I'd say I don't feel like doing it. And she'd go great. Let's go get some chips and salsa. She was great for certain areas of my life fitness was not one of them. And so one of the things I want to encourage women that are listening today is if you've got those friends that are great and holding you accountable in your marriage and your spiritual life and all these other areas, I guarantee you most of the time, it's not the same person that can handle all of those areas for you. So I encourage you to reach out to someone like Lucy, who is great in what she does and in the fitness realm and, and in the mental mental improvement mindset improvement sorry, in the mindset realm as well I went mindset blank on that. You too can be a professional radio show host. But anyway, when you when you are coaching them through the min

The word “communication” is often overused, yet undervalued and taken for granted... I got together with Joe Hendley who is a Sales Coach and Consultant for his own firm Prometheus, and he passionately drives the topic of communication, the psychology behind it, and the tools around it amongst other things. One of the things we were discussing was about I-It, I-You, and I-Thou. which by the way there is a great book that talks about it, “Interpersonal Communications by Julia T Wood” In I-It we treat others impersonally, almost as objects. A lot of the times salespeople get treated like an It or waiters or people living in the streets In I-You which accounts for most of our interactions we acknowledge one another yet we don’t fully engage each other as individuals And I-Thou is the rarest kind of relationship and the highest form of human dialogue because each person affirms the other as cherished and unique We can only have so many I-Thou around us because of the level of effort, time and deeper connection one has with the other person Though one thing that gets me is that too often we treat others like objects that is clear, so in all reality can we get rid of having I-It communications? You can find Joe on below links: https://www.prometheus-cs.co.uk/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joehendley/

Mira, hoy entrevistamos a Javi Luengo de Fario, que presentan su flamante nuevo disco Tres Peces. Ms Carlotta Chelsea nos habla de Vivienne Westwood, deidad punk y modista iconoclasta. Monsieur Tuset se cansa de escribir y elige grupos con siglas como nombre y afición al patinete. Los temas 1 Gang of Four - Damaged Goods 2 Monster Magnet - See you in Hell 3 Fario - General invierno 4 Fario - Oda al Silencio 5 Fario - Federico 6 S.O.D - Milk 7 S.T - You can't Bring Me down 8 D.R.I - You say I'm Scum 9 R.D.P - Farsa Nacionalista 10 S.A - Pelota

Is it enough to do right by your child? As parents and leading young impressionable minds, it's important to understand the impact we have on our children and how we shape their future. However, most would jump immediately and say that doing right by our children is what we are to do as parents. Desire to be supported and encourage by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACT. http://facebook.com/groups/thewomenofimpact A few days ago I was faced with a role reversal. Technology, specifically my external hard drive, was being a bit difficult. It truly had a mind of its own. I stood moaning and groaning at this crazy little machine that was supposed to be life-changing in the way I store my files. But it was bringing more stress and frustration. In a confident, low rumble, my youngest G-man says, "Now Mom, what would you tell us?" I didn't respond. Honestly, I didn't want to hear my own training. However, he couldn't resist. "Mom, you would say, 'Walk away. Just walk away.'" In that moment, I felt a refreshing rush of "You did good!". And it really was good advice. I needed to walk away to get a fresh perspective on the situation. For my youngest to know this, I must be doing right by my child. Or was I? You see, when we do right by our children, by definition it's to act, speak, or behave in a way that is just or beneficial to or meets the approval of the child. The key is that is meets the approval of the child.  Yet that's not how God teaches us. He doesn't do everything WE want Him to do. He does what is good for us, not approved by us. When we raise up our children, we need to look at doing right FOR our children, not BY our children. Those pesky little prepositions. It changes the meaning drastically. Most parents are leading their children by their approval. So why even parent? Children do not know what's best for themselves. We, as their parents, need to rise up and raise up children; train up a child in the way he should go. (Proverbs 22:6) If we are doing right by our children, we are not training them up in the way they should go. They are training us. It's time to lead your child to impact their future. The K.I.S.S. ~ L.E.A.D. where you stand! Locate - Where is your child now? What season is she in? Connect where she is now versus where she is headed. Evaluate & Examine her strengths and her weaknesses. What does she need to do to get to where she wants to go? This is where you formulate a plan for the season. This is something you can work on together as mother and child. AIM - Action ignites motivation. This is where you are training up your child. Helping her build up courage and confidence by doing. Take AIM! Discipline - This "D" is more of the "dangling" discipline. No one wants to set the boundaries, yet discipline keeps her on track. But this is your area as a parent. The greatest impact comes from building consistency; being willing to do the hard work and training them to do the same. "L.E.A.D. where you stand!"   #ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation  - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will be able to discuss your specific situation and gain tools and strategies to move you forward. Live. Love. IMPACT!  "One step at a time leads to miles of greatness!"   Subscribe to Create Your Now TV on YouTube. Listen to Create Your Now on Spotify and Pandora. Listen to Create Your Now on iHeart Radio. Click here. The Create Your Now Archives are LIVE!! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here.  http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 Contact me at YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com THE NO FUSS MEAL PLAN Instagram @CreateYourNow @Kristianne Wargo Twitter @KristianneWargo @CreateYourNow Facebook www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow   PERISCOPE USERS!!! 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You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 4. Create Your Now Archive 2 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 5. Create Your Now Archive 3 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 6. Create Your Now Archive 4 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 7. Create Your Now Archive 5 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 8. Create Your Now Archive 6 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive6 9. NEW Website! Go check it out and tell me what you think. http://www.createyournow.com 10. Sign Up for The A.I.M. Academy! You will be the first to learn all about it. http://createyournow.com/m-academy-2 11. Schedule a Discovery Call. This is a free 30-45 minute call for those serious about coaching with me. 12. Newsletter and Library: If you desire to get weekly emails, be sure to sign up here so you can stay connected. http://createyournow.com/library   Cover Art by Jenny Hamson   Music by Mandisa - Overcomer http://www.mandisaofficial.com Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -  Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

A part of God’s ingenuity was revealed through His creation in the beginning. But the most humbling and awe-inspiring act took place when God made man. Picture the creator carving, modelling and assembling out of clay a lifeless form; limb for limb, muscle for muscle- He connects the parts. Then He bends over the sculptured face and breathes! Dust stirs, the cheeks flesh up, a finger moves, an eye opens and the lifeless form, now with the breath of life rises to its feet and for the first time ever; thinks! “Who am I?” You are man! The zenith of God’s creation. The only creature whose creation required a consultation; “Let us make man...” The magnificent beauty made in God’s “...image and likeness...” The ultimate creature who was blessed with dominance; “Be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth and subdue it, and have dominion...” The Creator’s masterpiece for whom all other creatures were made; “I have given you every herb bearing seed...every tree...every beast...every fowl...everything that creeps upon the earth, wherein there is life...” Yes! Man! The one for whom the haven was designed! The one who was made out of nothing yet with more significance. God’s image and likeness on earth! A god! One who is a little lower than the angels. Within whom God placed his divine seed; a seed of Himself. What is man that You are mindful of him? God created Himself...The earth version! The earth’s greatest! The Creator had not created another one of His creations, but another creator! Who really is man that You are mindful of him? For You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands and You have put everything under his feet. Ps 8:6 Such power given to man! Yet God reached out from within Himself and placed in man the seed of choice. Regardless of the authority He gave to man, He did not impose Himself. “Wouldn’t it have been easier not to give man choice?” Certainly! But to remove the seed of choice is to remove the love. And God wouldn’t have that! When you probe deeper; Love is all you find. Go to the beginning of every decision He made and you will find it. Scurry to the end of every story He told and you will feel it. Love! Such unspeakable love! Even when man chose otherwise, He demonstrated His love by sending His son for man’s redemption. “For He did not send His son to condemn the world but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:17. He had a choice, and He chose us anyway. What manner of love is this? Do you know who you are? Do you know your place in God’s heart? Do you know who He has made you? When you walk around today and throughout the week, take a moment to appreciate the beauty around you; let each detail remind you that He did it for you! And has wired in you the ability to create and breathe life into stagnant situations. Be reminded that when the mighty hand of God went to work on His Greatest masterpiece, He made you! A god on earth! All things are yours! Walk in this confident assurance! You are unique! And God’s Love. You are not a creature, you are another Creator!

今天我们学的这首歌是一首非常好听的蓝草音乐，而演唱这首歌的歌手Alison Krauss是当今美国蓝草音乐的领军者，“蓝草音乐”（Blue Grass）是美国民间音乐的一种，从上世纪二十年代出现并开始发展。这首《When You Say Nothing At All》描绘了当你找到爱情的时候，对方的一个眼神或者一个细微的动作，你都能知道对方在想什么。就如歌词所唱You say it best when you say nothing at all 一切尽在不言中这首是电影《诺丁山》的插曲之一完美诠释了恋人之间那种细腻又踏实的感觉 It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart最神奇的事莫过于我们总是心有灵犀It's amazing连读How h弱读can弱读right t省音 Without saying a word you can light up the dark即使不言不语你也能点亮这黑夜Without t省音word d省音saying a连读light up连读 up p省音Light up:照亮 Try as I may I could never explain我永远无法解释清楚Try as I连读could d省音never explain连读 What I hear when you don't say a thing为什么你不用开口我也能心领神会What I连读 don't t省音say a连读 The smile on your face lets me know that you need me你的笑容告诉我你需要我Smile on连读that t弱读need d省音 There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me你的眼神向我承诺你永远陪着我Truth in连读your eyes连读 eyes s弱读leave v弱读 The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall你紧握我的温热的手告诉我无论发生什么你都不会放手Touch of连读hand d弱读if ever I连读 You say it best when you say nothing at all一切尽在不言中Say it连读best t省音nothing at all连读 All day long I can hear people talking out loud一整天我都被别人的嘈杂淹没Long I 连读talking out连读out t省音 But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd直到你牵住我的手世界突然变得宁静平和But t hold d省音drown out连读out t省音Drown out:淹没，压过 Old Mr. Webster could never define即便是韦氏词典也无法定义Old d省音could d省音Mr. Webster即韦氏字典的编纂者 What's being said between your heart and mine我们是如何心意相通Said d省音heart and连读 and d省音

Genesis 3 (NLT)The Man and Woman Sin3 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”“Where are you?” All-knowing God called out to the man He’d crafted with His own fingertips, asking a question yet already knowing the answer. I’ve often pictured God in this moment as a chuckling parent, standing behind Adam and pretending not to see him. But when reading this passage again, I gained a different perspective. In an instant, Adam learned of his vulnerable condition and faced shame followed by fear. He assumed that his disobedience ruined every- thing, and all the good times were over forever. So when he heard God walking nearby, Adam didn’t dare run into the presence of his Creator; he hid, ashamed and afraid. God chose not to peel back trees with a breath, revealing Adam’s hiding spot. He didn’t march through the garden broadcasting the serpent’s cunning words or send angels to evict them without getting personally involved. Instead, God affirmed His desire for relationship by inviting Adam into a conversation. “Where are you?”He didn’t start with questions about what they had done, who they had spoken to, how they had disobeyed, or whose fault it was. No, God started with the question closest to His heart. Father God created us to be near, and Adam had hidden himself away. “Adam, I love you, I’m eager to spend time together, and you’ve placed yourself apart from Me. Where are you?” I imagine Adam evaluating his situation, crouched there in his patch of trees. Where am I? You know I’m here. You probably see me even though I’m trying to avoid you. I’m right here. In the Garden of Eden. Slouched behind these flimsy branches. Cloaked in shame. Frozen in fear. Distancing myself from You. Then Adam made the best decision he’d made all day. Above the noise of his failure and beyond the shouts of shame and fear, He listened to God’s voice calling for him. And he replied. PrayerLord, thank You for creating me to be near to You. No matter how many times I make the wrong choice, You still want me to be close. Today I choose to draw close to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/yourdailybible)

Wanna laugh, cry, laugh, cry-cry, laugh as you frantically try to find the balance between God and all of yourselves -- Mama, Wife, Moderator, Caretaker, Financial Specialist, etc, etc, etc., with the insight of my 3 best friends, ME, MYSELF, and I? You just want a little piece right? Girl, grab a glass of tea and give me and my girls 10 minutes of your time and I promise you will be on your way!!! P. S. Oh, yeah, men you're welcome to listen as well!!

I You've seen into my heart, such arrogance in me. I think that I'm so great and everything is beneath me. Superior and smug, my nature's hard to cast. Beyond contempt, I'm lowly. Humanity is lost. Oh, humanity is lost. Your words melt my heart. Before You I have come. May I live by Your words, walk on the bright way of life, on the bright way of life. II I pretend to be real. How could You not be grieved. You have seen through my heart. My shame Your words revealed. Ashamed to see Your face. It's hard to voice what hurts. I've followed You for long, with no care for Your heart. Oh, with no care for Your heart. Your words melt my heart. Before You I have come. May I live by Your words, walk on the bright way of life, on the bright way of life. III Armed with words of doctrine, disposition hasn't changed. Your words have made things clear. It's me who does not seek. My greedy gaze I've showed, but for it You had hate. Towards You I can't rebel. My conscience must stay straight. Oh, my conscience must stay straight. Your words melt my heart. Before You I have come. May I live by Your words, walk on the bright way of life, on the bright way of life. IV My duties I shall do. Your kindness I'll repay. I'll spend my life for You, reborn to comfort You. Your words affect my heart. Your words encourage me. Your love conquers my heart. Your side I'll never leave. Oh, Your side I'll never leave. Your words melt my heart. Before You I have come. May I live by Your words, walk on the bright way of life, on the bright way of life.

Today I am so excited to share with you, a very special interview, with the amazing Kristin Crockett. Once upon a time, Kristin Crockett was living the American Dream – she was making all the money, she was top in sales in her career. She had the beautiful house, she had the husband, she had a beautiful family. Yet she was overweight, she wasn't feeling fulfilled, she felt this missing piece in her life. I think this is something that many women can relate to. I had just turned 40, I had gained a bunch of weight, I had never had a weight issue before. I decided to cut my hair. After cutting my hair, my husband, who is desperate to figure out what was going on with me. He thought to himself, what can I do to help my miserable wife be happy? So, he's like, what do you need? That's what we all want, somebody to ask our needs. And I said, I need hair extensions. Like that was my answer to why I wasn't happy. So, I went out and spent $2,500 on hair extensions. I looked good for about three days, and then my friends had to do an intervention after a month. My hair extensions were not the way to make me happy, and it wasn't how I ultimately found that contentment on the next piece of my journey. Kristen shares with us how to create the mindset to gain the success that we truly deserve, and to raise the bar on what we believe we deserve. It worked for Kristin, she lost over 80lbs, gained the personal freedom of self-expression, and expanded her confidence and courage. Keynotes discussed: I had the kids, I had the husband, but there was just something missing and I couldn't put my finger on it. (04:45)My unconscious mind had its own itinerary. So when you've got this, almost like these two worlds that come together, it shows up in reality as resistance and it, for me it was resistance to action.  (13:20)So when you get your magic wand out, you get to take that and just kind of silence that inner critic, and that's what the magic wand does. And then be able to say, well, this is what I'd actually really want.  (21:24)So that's what I, I just today, let's all do something courageous that feels uncomfortable, that we know we should be doing. (28:31)These are all these ideas that come to me when I wake up in the morning, and I keep a journal next to my bed because anytime I have an idea or something, you know, floats into my brain, I write it down. (32:20) Learn More About The Content Discussed... No Boss Talk:https://nobosstalk.comKristin Crockett on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DeserveLevelCoachKristen’s New Website: https://www.courageousdestiny.comThe Camp Elevate Facebook Group:hereBeth’s Instagram:@bethholdengravesBeth’s website:https://www.bethholdengraves.comProfit HER Way Course:https://www.bethholdengraves.com/profitBe sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!Beth's website: https://www.bethholdengraves.comCamp Elevate: https://www.bethholdengraves.com/camp-elevate Episode Transcript… Beth:Welcome to 'You're Not the Boss of Me'. If you are determined to break glass ceilings and build it your way, this show is for you. I'm your host Beth Graves, and I am obsessed with helping you to not just dream it, but make the plan, connect the dots and create what you crave. Are you ready? Let's get started.Let's get started. Welcome back. I am so excited. I have an incredible guest on this episode. Her name is Kristen Crockett and I am going to do a little intro and first of all, I love to tell people, because a huge thing about my life is I seem to get these awesome connections with women and it's because I always ask questions. So, a friend of mine, Yvonne, who gave me permission, met Kristin and started working with her and Deserve Coaching and I started to notice the shift with Yvonne. Like something was different, and I'm like, what are you doing? Like you know when someone has a new boyfriend or a new haircut or they've got something, she had this glow and I'm like Yvonne, like what is going on? Are you having good sex? Like what's the story?She introduced me to Kristen and yeah, so I am going to just read it. It's almost reading, but I'm looking at her bio because Kristen, when I first talked to her, she was interviewing me for a book she's writing, which she'll share, and she said she had it all, the American dream. She was making all the money. She was top in sales in her career. She had the beautiful house, she had the husband, she had a beautiful family, yet she was overweight. She wasn't feeling fulfilled. She felt this missing piece in her life. I know I can relate. Kristen doesn't know the story. I'm going to have Kristen continue to share what she did from that moment. But I think this, many women will relate to. I had just turned 40 and I had gained a bunch of weight. I had never had a weight issue and I also decided to cut my hair.And I'm looking at Kristen cause we're live together. She's got this adorable haircut, it is sassy. I cut my hair. So, I had gained weight. I cut my hair and my husband who is desperate to figure out what can I do to help my miserable wife be happy? So, he's like, what do you need? What do you need? Like that's what we want someone to ask our needs. And I was like, yeah, I need hair extensions. That was my answer to why I wasn't happy. So, I went out and spent $2,500 on hair extensions. I looked good for about three days and then my friends had to do an intervention after a month. Like this is not a good thing for you. So anyway, hair extensions were not the way to raise my Deserve level and it wasn't how I ultimately found that on that next piece of the journey. So, Kristen, hearing that, I'm sure you get clients that were in my position all the time. Can you share your story, your journey, and how you ended up leaving that corporate high paying job to help women just like me?Kristen:Absolutely. So, I love the hair extension story. I think it's a really great illustration about something outside of me is going to make me feel better. Right? It's something else. It’s kind of circumstantial. Something is going to make me feel better. And for me, that's really where my story started. So, I had the beautiful home and it was gorgeous, you know, 4,800 square feet, so the granite counters and the warming trays and that, this and the that. And I loved my house, but it's like I bought all of the things that people who are incredibly successful buy, and I put them in a house, and I was terribly unhappy and didn't know why. I have everything, I have everything that I've ever wanted. And yet, you know, I had the kids, I had the husband, but there was just something missing and I couldn't put my finger on it and I just kept gaining more and more weight. I was overweight my whole life. So, it wasn't like a matter of a period in life or right after I had my kids, I had put on 80 pounds, you know, I had actually carried 80 pounds upwards of 20 plus years. And when I met my coach, I was almost 40, so that turning point in my life where the triplets were old enough that they didn't quite need me as much. They were five. So, of course they did.Beth:I just have to pause. Did you hear that ladies out there? Triplets? I hear, I was on my bed crying and I had independent kids that were not triplets. This woman gave birth to three at once. Just want to point that out.Kristen:It was funny because that moment, because what was happening was for so long everything was one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three. You know, it's like change the diapers, make the bottles, do this, do that. There was no time to go, ‘Oh, who am I?’ You know, what is this world about? Why was I born? There was nothing like that in my life, you know. It was just one, two, three. And if I wasn't doing one, two, three, I was going to work and I was working at a technology organization and I just go, go, go. It was like at that hamster on the hamster wheel, you know, that just keeps spinning around.Beth:When did you go? So, one thing that comes to me there, and this is like off topic, is - don't you wish as a mom that's surviving motherhood and I know there's resources out there. I wish I had known about journaling and known about meditation and getting my brain in the right and even just the Breathe App for goodness sake. Putting that in while I was breastfeeding could have changed a lot. So, maybe it's because we're in a more evolved space that I think all moms know about those things, but that's something I always think, okay, what can I do today to contribute to someone else's life? And I have three young moms I'm thinking about, I'm just going to buy them the Breathe App for a year and say use this. Yeah. Okay. So, you're in this hamster wheel and you made a shift. Like, how did you come across the Deserve Coaching? Like how did it come across your plate?Kristen:So I did a lot of complaining in those days and I complained to a woman that I work with and she was one of these women who, you know, seemingly on the outside just had it all, you know, she was a pilot, she was amazing at sales, she was a yoga instructor. She, there was just no limit to this woman. And I love that about her. I had a lot of respect and she was also incidentally one of those people that doesn't allow you to complain to her without giving you something to do about it. And I'm so grateful for that today, because right. What I complained to her, she's like, I'm going to give you something to do. I want you to call my brother and my brother's a coach.Beth:Oh my gosh. Yes. Awesome. That's what I'm going to start doing when people start complaining to me, I'm just giving them your number. There you go. Okay, so you started on, that's a scary move for someone. And I know that our listeners, one of the big reasons that I asked you to come out and we were talking about your book, I ended up turning it into my own private coaching session. We never really got to the book, but one of the things leading a large group of women, that when I had a huge compelling reason, when I started in sales and even though it wasn't always comfortable for me to make those calls, get on the zoom, have gatherings in my house because you know, your house is never ready. The compelling reason was so strong that I didn't stop to consider what do other people think? Why shouldn't I do this? But when people get comfortable, like you are very comfortable, you're making the money, right? So, you obviously, your compelling reason for making that call was you felt like "Bleep"!Kristen:Right? Yeah. I really felt powerless. I mean, now I know, I didn't even know what that meant at the time, you know? But I felt powerless. I had, there was nothing that was going to change my life. In fact, my first call with my coach was, well, here you go. And I complained to him for a half an hour about how, you know, everybody out at work was against me. And you know, there was no time to eat healthy. And I can't even manage to brush my hair half the time when I'm getting the kids in the car and getting them out to school, let alone try to make an egg or prepare something healthy for myself. Are you kidding me? And so, I just, I had no power. I no power to change my life. And that is when after he listened, I don't think I've ever had anybody just listened to me. Like I just, Oh, like, I'm like, wow. And then he goes, okay, Kristen. He goes, I want you to consider something. He goes, we get in life what our unconscious mind beliefs we deserve.Beth:And wait, say it again. Because with bells and whistles. Say it again. We get in life…Kristen:We get in life what our unconscious mind believes we deserve.Beth:All right. And I want to like, I want to stop here because he gave you that message and I know I spent a lot of years calling bullshit on people like you and saying, Oh really? Come on. You just have to get in the game. You have to work hard; you have to do the thing. Like, and I used to say that about people. I would get up at five in the morning and run. I was at the gym; I was probably on the obsessive side of fitness. And my sister would say to me, don't be so quick to judge because you haven't been in the shoes of someone that is. And I got into those shoes when I had let the health side go. So, I used to always say, well, if they wanted it, it's almost like telling someone with a mental illness to just be happy.Right? And so, when someone's feeling like getting out of bed in the morning and putting on their running shoes, like they're not springing up at every step out of bed is like walking across glass because it's so painful to take that action. Some people might say, well, that's just lazy. You've just got to do it. You've just got to do it. When suddenly this door is opening and evolving in my head of, they can't figure out how to do it. How is the subconscious mind playing into that story? I love to give strategies and solutions. I've spoken on stages about, all you do is put a hundred sticky notes on a wall and you move 10 a day, and Yvonne, who introduced me to you, she's like, yes, I know I need to move 10 a day. But me as a coach was like, well, why aren't you moving the 10 a day?Which made me realize there's a reason and that's that subconscious mind. So how does that, you obviously went through the coaching you learned about the Deserve level and how to raise the Deserve level, right? So, somebody listening is like, okay, I know all the things. I have, all the checklists. I have all the diets. I mean, how many of us have bought $70,000 worth of diets? We even know what we need to do to get our marriages back on track, but we just don't freaking do it. And did the bell go off in your head that day when he said that about your subconscious mind, and can you explain a little bit behind the science about that?Kristen:I would be happy to. So, when he said that, and you got to remember I had complained to him, I was in my own head and he woke me up like it was like bam, I'm up. It was the way he said it and I knew I could trust him instantly when he said that because of the way he said it. So, a little bit behind the science of Deserve level, it's our unconscious 5 percent of the way that we think. So, our unconscious mind has its own, you know, it's handling our actions. You know, a lot of people say, Oh well I'm on autopilot. It's like if you wake up at 3:00 AM and your alarm clock goes off and you're used to waking up at 5:00 AM every day, it's like, have you ever heard the stories where people are like, Oh my gosh, I got totally ready for work.I got in my car and the next thing I know, I realized I had three more hours. I could have slept. Well. The unconscious mind takes over, right? Going through all the motions, and that's what controlling most of our actions is. Our unconscious mind. So consciously, I could look at an exercise program and I could go, Oh, well I know all the tricks. I've been on weight Watchers for 20 years of my life. You know, I know how much to eat. I know portion control. I know how to weigh food. I know how to exercise. I had been an athlete, but my unconscious mind viewed me as the big girl, just mine viewed me as somebody without self-discipline. My unconscious mind viewed me as somebody who was going to break every single rule that anybody who was a diet practitioner would give me. My unconscious mind had its own itinerary. So, when you've got this, almost like these two worlds that come together, it shows up in reality as resistance and it, for me it was resistance to action. Does that make sense?Beth:Yeah, because I resist authority.Kristen:Yes.Beth:I’ve resisted authority, but I was always…they don't really know I'm resisting them unless they're smart. Like you are well trained in it, so let's take that. I know that. So, if you are coaching someone, because I think that before people, like I know that listeners are thinking, Oh my gosh, she's inside of my brain. They did. They like crawled inside of my private sacred space where I hold all my secrets. I want to tell you if you're listening, that even if you, you look at somebody that has it all together, they're winning, they've got the car, the house, the marriage, the job at any level of success this comes to play in order to get to the next step, the next step or two. I think it is for me right now.When I started in 2014 it was hard for me to say I'm not happy because I didn't want to disappoint those people. My husband was like, how can you not be happy? Look at what we have. Or even my daughter came to me and said, mom, what you posted about 2014, like it makes it sound like you are sleeping in bed all day. We were a family. We were having fun. And to not disappoint those people to say I needed something more from me. And so that piece of it, but also there's so many people and women, and I'm thinking of one in particular, that she needs something more for herself and I keep giving her an action plan to take the steps. There's a big financial chaotic piece going on right now around money and there's no action being taken to make the money that they need.So, the missing ingredient to me is the total and complete Deserve level that she's experiencing. So, if you were to, and this is you guys get ready…because what would be the first step of someone if they're like, I'm not quite ready to do some coaching. I know we're going to give everyone resources. There's a lot of free things that you provide if people aren't just wanting to learn and there's a book coming out. But what are you going to tell? I'm going to call her Mary, what will you tell Mary today who is looking at the sticky notes, or the action plan, or the phone, and she's just not doing it and she knows that it's in her hands? But it's just this or me eating, you know, two years ago, I know I'm not supposed to be eating this mint chocolate chip ice cream out of the carton at night, but you know, screw my trainer Amy because I'll start tomorrow and then I'll fool her Friday because I won't eat carbs for three days and she'll never know about the ice cream, when like Amy didn't care about the ice cream. All Amy wanted to do was help me achieve these goals as a nutrition and diet coach. So, like that's a lot that I just threw at you. But that's all. That's all people sabotaging success and happiness because of the crap in our brains, right?Kristen:So, first thing that I would do is, give her to this person who knows not to eat the chocolate chip ice cream or knows not to do these things, but is doing them anyway. I give them my listening, you know, because I can listen beyond just the surface so I can hear where somebody’s ego becomes engaged. And the reason why I can share it so well is because I spent so much of my life in that place, and I worked really, really, really, really rigorously to get out of it. And I worked on really untangling my own ball of yarn in my unconscious mind, you know, and really weaving it out one decision at a time, that created all of the stories and contexts in my brain.Beth:So, I love that one decision at a time. So how does the work begin? How does Mary or Belinda or Danielle whoever, want to start with that one decision at a time? And I'm a true believer in this. I told you that before, my solution is to hire a coach. But you can't hire a coach and like build out. Let's say you want to build out a funnel to bring leads your way, but you don't do the work and you don't connect with the customers. Same thing here, but one decision at a time to raise that Deserve level that, yeah. Okay, I deserve to have a healthy, hot body and feel good about myself when I get dressed in the morning. How does somebody start? Like what do you do to start that process?Kristen:Well, what I did to start was, obviously I did hire a coach because I hired Ed, and then after three months of working with Ed, I tripled my sales and lost my thirst 30 pounds. I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh, I got to be a coach. This is amazing’. So that's how I started. But you know, to start something like that is, I think it's really to identify what you want. Most people can't even identify a target of what they want because their unconscious mind already makes an impossible, you know, an example of this. And when they go to identify what they want, looking and observing what's in their way, you know? So, if I were to have said right when I began my Deserve level wasn't even high enough to be able to say I want to lose 85 pounds, that would have been like insane to me. I mean, my first instinct and my first conversation with my coach was, you know what, if I could just get my blood pressure down and I could feel good and I could lose 20 pounds, that would be good enough for me. You know? So, it's almost like to be able to identify your good enough's, where are you settling? Where am I settling in my life because I'm too afraid to even identify what I actually want.Beth:So, what is an exercise to help someone to identify what they actually want?Kristen:Well, one of the things I do on an introductory call, you know, or what I like to call a Deserve level strategy session is I have people create this, which is a magic wand and I want that…I was holding up my index fingers, I forgot, people won't be able to see what I'm doing on podcasts, but it's ...Beth:Here's...I'm going to throw this out there is, I have an actual wand, just so you know,Kristen:I do too!Beth:Oh my gosh. See, I knew we were like sisters from another Mister I bought a wand and I was like; I will wave that wand around. I used to do it when my kids were toddlers. I'd be like, okay, you are going to be exceptional humans today, that cooperate and play and get along, wave, wave, wave. And they used to think I was crazy but it kind of worked. Now I wave it on myself. So, okay, so you've got your magic wand.Kristen:So, your magic wand. What your magic wand does is, it helps you get rid of that inner critic. You know, the one that's going to be saying, because I'll never forget my coach saying to me, well, you know, you only want to lose 20 pounds, but that's it. You don't ever want to be on a beach. You don't ever want to, you know, you don't ever want to wear a, I don't know, a bikini or this or that. And I'm like, and I remember saying this as plain as day, I'm like, Oh, well sure I'd really want that, but that's fricking impossible. I'm a mom of triplets. Are you kidding me? I'm never going to have a body like that. This body has been stretched out to 300 plus pounds. You know, there is no way that that would ever happen. Just hear all those decisions. Those are all unconscious. So, even just that as the first step. So, when you get your magic wand out, you get to take that and just kind of silence that inner critic and that's what the magic wand does. And then be able to say, well, this is what I'd actually really want. And if somebody, I don't care what that thing is by the way, that you want because if you look out into the world, if somebody else has it, the only thing that's between you and somebody else is your decisions on what's possible for you.Beth:Oh my gosh! You guys write that down. Like that is huge. Go back click, you know, 15 seconds back, play it in half time, I listened to my podcasts at two times the speed because I need to get all the information. That is huge. And I have personally, on my own personal journey of, I don't know why this time, I just said, well it's available to me. Suddenly after I started the business at 47, it's available to me. And I think back to when I was at my fittest. It wasn't a, well I can't, it was of course I can. And so at those moments I didn't have the doubts, but then, you know, when I turned 50 I found myself saying, Oh well I'm 50 now, so my weight, my goal weights can be 20 pounds more or I don't want to live my life.I had all of the excuses or the interference, it's kind of like if you're playing catch and then you've got like a six-foot ten-inch-tall basketball player interfering with that ball and that flow. That's how my mind works is I always envision him, he's really tall and he keeps grabbing my damn balls. Like I'm trying to throw them, and he keeps interfering and knocking them out of my hands. I will visually, I don't even know if this is Deserve level coaching, but this is like, I call it my Beth coaching method, is I literally will stand up and I will punch him and I will say get the F out of my way. I am going forward and I have to then put on some Beyonce and dance it out. Like that's kind of.Kristen:Yes.Beth:So, my block, you know, is I'm working on a project now for creating a program for women and my vision and my dream is to bring women together and give them the resources and the connections.That's how this podcast was born. And I kept stopping with the production of the podcast because I kept thinking, well, there's already another podcast like that, or no one will listen. And that was obviously no. I had to take the interference dude and punch him. It'd be like, get out of my way. Because even if I share this, share Kristen today, that one person out there, hears this message and it's like I'm going to go to your website, I'm going to go to a free group. And one move is made, like one decision you guys, whether it's a humanitarian effort, whether it's just somebody that is in an abusive situation, they need to leave. Or maybe it's your like Kristen or me, that we are feeling powerless and we're like, you know, it sounds like a book; I was made for more, but to be okay with that.So, we gave you a glimpse of what's inside the Deserve level coaching and Kristen, I know that they can find you, connect with you. I want you to give us all of those details. We'll also put them in the show notes. But if today someone is driving to work or they're at the gym and they're listening to this and I know I've listened to podcasts and I've cried thinking that's where I am, and they're not quite ready to make the move to call you, or reach out to you, or to, they want to consume. What can you tell that woman today that's at the gym or she's driving in her car and life feels like it's just fallen apart? Like what's your message for her today? You were there, what do you wish someone had said to you before that? You know you had someone say call my brother and then, and we don't plan these questions and I do it on purpose. So, Kristen's probably like, Whoa, these are harder than I thought. It's not the typical what is Deserve level coaching. But you've got an audience. I want you to think of that one person she's driving, her tears are streaming down her face and she's like, crap, are they talking to me? What is your message for her today?Kristen:My message for her today. How my brand was born, my brand is Courageous Destiny. Okay. So, if you break apart, courage…cou means from the heart and then rage. So, from the heart rage, destiny, that's really what it means. And for that person who's in their car crying and feeling powerless, the way to grab your power back is to do something. So even though it's uncomfortable and it would be terrifying, then I would say challenge yourself to call me anyway because those are things that I actually understand. So, I wouldn't actually go to them and go, Oh, don't call me. It's okay. Do what's easy. I would say do what you're most afraid of first, and that will give you the most power. So, I would say call me.Beth:I love it. Yeah. And do, do what you're most afraid of first. And sometimes those are conversations and sometimes that's like going to the networking event alone or going to Bunco in your neighborhood. Even walking inside of, I'll tell you a quick story. My daughter, a brave move for her was walking inside of cycling class. She had never done it. She was on a health journey and when she got to college, she walked inside of a soul cycle, which was scary because like, I don’t know what's that, there's a movie where she falls off the soul cycle, but, someone message me on Instagram the name of the movie please, but it's a scary place to walk into. There's a lot of like perfection, and do you know how to get on the bike and clip yourself in, and whatever, it was that day that she decided, I'm going to make that brave move and walk through those doors of soul cycle and not worry about if I have the right outfit or if I know how to clip into the bike or if I know how to sign in.These are all things I've said to myself. She walked in and that one decision, but it's the compound effect of meeting a community of really amazing humans, changing the trajectory of what her focus would be in her life, and also feeling empowered by this body of hers that was able to, to move and grow and do all these things. And it was, and I remember she said when we were moving her in to her dorm, I'm going to go to soul cycle and like you are? It's so brave, but it's sometimes just one move, one call, one, one moment of courage that propels that forward. And I hope that when you take that moment of courage today, whatever it is, whether it's calling Kristen or walking into that fitness class or walking into church again, or calling your mom because you feel this disconnect, I hope you're met with love and not resistance.And even if you aren't met with love, that's okay too, because it's your step, right? So that's what I, just today, let's all do something courageous that feels uncomfortable, that we know we should be doing. And it might even be like sending a sexy text to your husband, and don't think, Oh, he's going to think this is weird. Did you do it when you were dating? Do you want to have a date night? Do you want to take your son bowling? Or you know, like all these things that come to my mind or make a brave call in your sales. So, do something courageous, because I love that you're courageous. Destiny is that push, right? So, tell us, yeah, that push, push, jump. Okay. If someone could take a look inside of your planner, are you digital or paper?Kristen:Digital.Beth:Okay. If someone could take a look inside of your planner, what is one thing that you do every single day that they would see that you do, and that is just a non-negotiable for you?Kristen:They would see that I have 15 minutes a day that I raised my Deserve level and I journal.Beth:Oh, non-negotiable. I love it. All right. I love to peek inside people's journals and their days and their daily plan. And Kristen, if someone wants to consume more of this and you, and learn more, where do they find you? Connect with you. Give us the goods.Perfect. So, I do moderate a group on Facebook called the Deserve Level Movement. So that would be an excellent place for somebody to join. And I'm always posting in there and posting Facebook lives. We have other Deserve level coaches and training that are posting in there. Clients of mine, people who know the work or just want to make a difference in the world are posting in there. So, find me there. And then also, if on Facebook, I'm also doing the lives, friend me, you know, reach out to me, you know, just reach out to me. I will have a website coming up, actually next week. It's being created, CourageousDestiny.com, and that is where you will find other videos and eventually have subscriptions and things like that. All to support people living their courageous destiny.Beth:I love it, and we'll put all those links in the show notes below. And are you also on Instagram?Kristen:I am not on Instagram. That's actually something that's on my to-do.Beth:Well, we'll do that together because, and I'll share it out, because our listeners love to screenshot the episodes. So, screenshot the episode, tag me, and then I will make sure that we get that over to Facebook because you can also put it in your Facebook stories that you've been on this podcast. And I'm going to encourage you. So, I'll put in the show notes below that, how you can connect with Kristen, how you can get a part of her free community when this airs, the website will be live. So, we'll also add that website, and I just want to say thank you. I have notes. I have learned so much today from your wisdom and from you sharing your experience, and I just can't wait to make more connections and do the work along with our community.Kristen:Beautiful, beautiful. It's really been an honor to come onto this show today and I do feel like we're like soul sisters or something, Beth, it's awesome.Beth:I know. I'm actually thinking that, hilarious. I'm going to do this today. If you leave us a five-star review over on iTunes and you'll let me know. I love to see it on Instagram or Facebook. I'm going to mail one person that's listening a wand. My favorite magic wand. Because I have extras. You get a magic wand today. I keep extras. I actually, yeah, I have some swag. I think that maybe a wand is going to have to be in my camp swag store. I have a camp store. These are all ideas that come to me that I wake up in the morning and I keep a journal next to my bed, because anytime I have an idea or something, you know, floats into my brain, I'd write it down and my husband will be like, you write in your sleep? I'm like, yeah, that's how ideas are born. That right brain side.Kristen:That’s how it gets created. If you don’t write it down, It's not real.Beth:I have like an overabundance of right-brain. Alright you guys, thanks so much for being with us today. As always, I appreciate all of you and I want you to have that moment of courage. Share it out on Facebook. Let us know what it is so we can celebrate with you and we will catch you on the next episode.Thanks so much for hanging out with me today on ‘You're Not the Boss of Me’. I'm hoping that you've found one thing that you will do today that will allow you to move forward to that big audacious goal. And I have a favor to ask of you, and that is leaving me a five-star review over in iTunes every single week. I read your reviews. I love hearing what you have to say, and it allows me to bring you more, to get more people to interview that are doing the thing, breaking the glass ceilings, creating what they crave, and helping you with your game plan. So, leave me a five-star review, and when you do, I enter you to win the, ‘You're Not the Boss of Me’ swag. So, make sure you leave it and we'll reach out to you if you're the winner. Thanks so much for hanging with me today and we'll chat with you soon. 

In this week’s episode of the Church Planting Podcast Clint Clifton interviews Svava María Ómarsdóttir about what it is like to be a part of a church plant in Iceland, and why it is so hard. If you would like to know more about Svava and there church you can click on the links below.Svava’s Facebook Svava’s ChurchTranscriptionALBERT: This is the Church Planting Podcast. Thank you for tuning in.ALBERT: Every week we sit down with leaders who are shaping church planting efforts. ALBERT: Here’s your host, Josh Turansky and Clint Clifton.JOSH TURANSKY: Hey, welcome to the Church Planting Podcast. My name is Josh Turansky and I’m joined by Clint Clifton. Clint, how are you doing?CLINT CLIFTON: I’m excited about baseball, which is very unusual.JOSH TURANSKY: That’s right. We’re recording this right after a massive world series win.CLINT CLIFTON: By Washington Nationals. It was amazing.JOSH TURANSKY: And that was an incredible comeback…CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah and you know…JOSH TURANSKY: By the Washington Nationals.CLINT CLIFTON: I don’t care about baseball at all. I don’t care about sports at all. But man, it was exciting. I was up until midnight watching sports, which is just not a thing that has ever happened.JOSH TURANSKY: Yeah. CLINT CLIFTON: Man it was…JOSH TURANSKY: I watched it too. I didn’t watch the whole series but man, I watched that…CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah there were two awesome thing about it. One was afterward, just the streets of Washington DC… I mean, you see the streets of DC full all the time when people are protesting you know? Spun up about something. I didn’t know our city had capacity to celebrate like that. It was awesome.JOSH TURANSKY: Wow.CLINT CLIFTON: It was really awesome to see our city like unified and joined together. And if I… You know, I’ve usually been kind of like a, “Sports, I don’t really see the point.” But man, it was really unifying and very exciting to see. And then the second thing was our planters-the planters in our city, you know, unbeknownst to me, guys that I worked with, they got together and went and watched the game unprompted. It wasn’t organized officially. But they couldn’t afford tickets to the game. So, they actually got tickets to the Wizard’s game the same night. They went to the Wizard’s game and they stayed after the Wizard’s game in the arena and they watched the nets played on the jumbotron in the arena.JOSH TURANSKY: Brilliant.CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah. It was amazingJOSH TURANSKY: Brilliant. That’s awesome.CLINT CLIFTON: And just watching them have fun together and… which was awesome.JOSH TURANSKY: Man, well congratulations. That’s a huge victory for your hometown, man.CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah.JOSH TURANSKY: In DC. So, this episode is a interview that you did with Svava. And…CLINT CLIFTON: Say her name about as good as you say Thabiti.JOSH TURANSKY: Gee, thanks.CLINT CLIFTON: It’s good. That’s good. I’m not good with pronunciation either.JOSH TURANSKY: Okay so tell us how do you know Svava? Which is spelled S-V-A-V-A. I mean, I gotta get a little credit.CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah, it’s Svava. So S-V-A-V-A.JOSH TURANSKY: Svava.CLINT CLIFTON: Yes. And how I know Svava.. So, our church-the church that I planted, became burdened for the nation of Iceland. When we first started church planting, maybe a year or two into our work, my wife and I actually moved over to Iceland; long story, I can’t give you the whole thing. But the long story short is we moved over there, we started a group, and then we just have been consistently for the past 13/14 years, endeavoring to see the Gospel spread in Iceland and churches be planted there. There’s a little to know Gospel vibrancy or Gospel work going on there. And so, Svava is one of our church planters’ wives there. And the only Icelandic church planter we have-his name is Gunnar, and he’s really found on the internet and on Instagram under the name icegunns, but…JOSH TURANSKY: What?CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah. Anyway, these guys are just really dear to us. We love them very much and have spent a lot of time with them and they’ve gotten through some incredible suffering over the course of their church planting journey and God has sustained them in an unusual way. And so, they were visiting the United States staying in our home and we got an interview with Svava about that why she was here last summer. So it was a little bit dated and it was originally a video. So you might here a little bit in there that kind of refers to it as a video. But, I want you to check it out anyway.JOSH TURANSKY: Awesome. Well, let’s jump right in to this interview with Svava.CLINT CLIFTON (ADVERTISEMENT): Are you a pastor that wants to lead your church to reproduce? Well, I’ve got something for you. It’s called church planting thresholds. Church planting thresholds is a simple, step-by-step, Gospel-centered guide that will help you guide someone from your congregation to lead a church planting team out somewhere else. Many pastors tells me that they don’t have the expertise, they don’t have the money, they don’t have the resources they need to start a new church; well I don’t think that’s true. The only resource you need to start a new church is a ready leader. So even if your church is very small and you don’t have a lot of resources at your disposal, if you can disciple a man to lead a team of people out from your church to start another new church, then you have all that you need to reproduce. Church planting thresholds will help you do it. Church planting thresholds is available in English and in Spanish. It’s even available as an audiobook. You can find it at amazon or at audible.com. CLINT CLIFTON: Svava, thanks for spending time talking to me today. You and your husband Gunnar have been a huge blessing and encouragement to me, and my family, and my church. And I just wanted to take a moment to help others get to know you and what the Lord’s doing through you guys. So, tell us where you’re planting a church and how long you’ve been doing that.SVAVA: Well, planting in Iceland; the land of Ice. We don’t live in snow houses though. CLINT CLIFTON: Okay. Good, good. That’s good to know. Not igloos, right?SVAVA: We’ve been planting… Well, we’ve had the church since 2011 in December.CLINT CLIFTON: Okay. So, what’s the spiritual climate of Iceland like? Give us an overview.SVAVA: Well first and foremost, it’s very dark. People just don’t believe in God. That’s… yeah. It’s… People are very like… It’s very like you kind of just believe what you want. You know, everything… All religion’s all the same. And even in the Lutheran churches. Yeah, so that’s a pretty… I mean, you wouldn’t… Sadly to say, you wouldn’t… You couldn’t even go to a Lutheran church there and expect a good sermon most of the time.CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah adn for… And in most places, if somebody were to like wander into a state church and say, “Tell me how to become a Christian.” Would they get accurate… an accurate depiction of the Gospel? SVAVA: Most likely not.CLINT CLIFTON: Most likely not, yeah. So, Americans might think about Iceland that… You know, like you’ve mentioned, they live in igloos and really don’t like have the internet or books. You know… Tell us what it’s like to live in Iceland.SVAVA: Yeah, we have… I don’t know. We have cinemas? CLINT CLIFTON: So you basically… I mean you…SVAVA: We have… I mean we’re, yeah. It’s just yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah so it’s not… It’s not unlike most of Western Europe or even he United States. Like you have… It’s a very modern society.SVAVA: Yeah. We have Dunkin Donuts, Krispy Kreme. Yes.CLINT CLIFTON: What else is there? So, you and your husband began to feel in 2011 that the Lord was calling you to plant a church. How did you feel about that initially?SVAVA: I was just… I said yes, but I was not really in it until a little bit later. Yeah, it was… It took me a while. It took me a while. Yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: And Gunnar, your husband, he was getting most of his growth… It was happening through listening to American pastors on podcasts and you weren’t listening to the same podcasts. So how was Gunnar trying to bring you along with the way he was growing?SVAVA: Well, it took 2 years. Yeah. He was just battling through those thoughts by himself but then eventually, he surrendered and talked to me about it. I said okay but didn’t really support him right away but then I mean I just kinda said yes and then just kind of kept on doing what I was doing.CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah. Nothing really changed. Now describe kind of where you guys were as a couple, where you were in your career at the time God started calling him to do this.SVAVA: Yeah. Well, he was working at the grocery store, I was working 50 like a half… It’s called part time job at a child care at a gym. And we were living in the church, in his dad’s church actually. His sister was running the church at the time. And we were living in the…one of the children’s ministry rooms.CLINT CLIFTON: Okay. So, you say he was working at a grocery. He’s not like running the grocery; he’s stocking shelves. Yeah. So, and… you guys weren’t on a good footing financially. You weren’t on a good footing… You weren’t on track with your career. With careers.SVAVA: Yeah. We moved like two or three times before we came to that ‘cause we didn’t really have… couldn’t afford any apartment at the time so that’s why they offered that for free. Yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: So essentially, you’re living in a church building in a children’s ministry classroom in a church building as a young, married couple. Yeah.SVAVA: And then pregnant with our son.CLINT CLIFTON: The first child. Okay. So Svava, when you and Gunnar set out to plant the church, it’s called Loftstofan. And when you started to plant the church, tell us what the very early stages of that church looked like.SVAVA: Yeah. Well, we were then 4, and then people kept adding like… slowly. But basically, we were just having them on our house. Everything, the whole church was at our house. Yeah, like, you know… life groups, and Sunday service, just anything.CLINT CLIFTON: When you say at your house, you’ve gotten an apartment by this point or you’re still?SVAVA: Yes. We… yes. We moved to the apartment, thankfully. And yeah, just Mikhail tagging along and yeah we have baptism there…CLINT CLIFTON: In your house?SVAVA: Yeah. Baptist people in our house. CLINT CLIFTON: Where in your house did you baptize?SVAVA: Oh yes. In our bathtub. CLINT CLIFTON: In your bathtub?SVAVA: Yes.CLINT CLIFTON: So you gathered all the people from your church in your bathtub?SVAVA: Yes. We actually… Yeah. I remember us cramping all in there. We’re just wanting… You know… Just so excited when we’re baptizing our first member at that time and the water just like splashed on the floor. And yeah, it was really fun.CLINT CLIFTON: It sounds really fun actually. So things were going well with the ministry but I got an email from Gunnar during this time frame and I remember him just describing how he felt like he wasn’t doing a good job as a husband and a father because he wasn’t providing for the family. I remember him saying he felt like he was burden on the society that he’d been there to bless, that he was a burden on his parents, and that he wasn’t being a good husband or father because he wasn’t able to provide for you guys. ‘Cause he wasn’t really focusing on his career, he was focusing on the ministry. And so that was a difficult tension for you guys. SVAVA: That was very difficult. I mean, after we moved away from the church, living from the church and to the apartment, that was probably soon after that he just decided that he was gonna quit his job and do the full time ministry. You know? And then he started to raise money and I mean, that took a long time so that email that you’re talking about, it was maybe 2 years after we moved. Maybe, yeah. 2014, right? And so, I mean, we didn’t… we basically didn’t have any salary. So basically living off of…lived off of his mom. Mostly she pay for all of our groceries. We ate at the halfway house that she was cooking at everyday of the week. And my mom and dad, they gave us like monthly allowance, maybe to just kind of you know be able to do something and just provide for Mikhail. Yeah. It was a very daunting… CLINT CLIFTON: Difficult season.SVAVA: Yeah. It was a very difficult season. Yeah. CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah. So I think a lot of people who set out to plant churches experience some measure of this. You know, Lord’s called us to do this. They’re concerned about how they’re going to be provided for financially. But you guys, even through the ministry was starting to go well and there was a strong sense that Lord’s calling you to do this, there were real difficulties that you guys were facing at this time. And I remember in that email that Gunnar sent, he basically put an ultimatum in the email. So we were serving as like a supporting church; a church that was helping and… to encourage you guys and help you through. And in the email, he essentially said, “I’m going to give it 12 more months and then if things haven’t changed, I’m gonna quit the ministry.SVAVA: Yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: And so, it was difficult for him enough to verbalize that even though the Lord had called him to this, he didn’t feel like it was right for him not be providing for his family. SVAVA: Yeah. I mean I can’t even imagine just being a man and feeling the need to… wanting to provide for his family. But I think even…. I remember when we talked about it, I think the reason why we said like after 12 months, even in the midst of like the very deep hardship, we still say like you know… 1 year and 2/4 months, you know. It’s because we didn’t want to quit.CLINT CLIFTON: Right.SVAVA: Yeah. CLINT CLIFTON: Right.SVAVA: We wanted to keep going.CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah I mean, I remember feeling that way as a church planter. I remember there was period in our church planting journey where I was you know earning extra money by uhm, by doing odd jobs and things like that to try to make ends meet. And it just felt unsustainable, it felt impossible to continue. Yet on the other hand there’s this strong clear calling and I mean do you think that that’s part of God’s work in our lives to put us through that sort of difficulty. I mean as you look back on it do you see that as a season of grace or…?SVAVA: A season of grace totally. I mean I think I wouldn’t be able to say that if we didn’t have God’s grace. You know? We’re still wanting to just fight through the adversity. I think that’s not a far on doing. God. Mhm. CLINT CLIFTON: So, now looking back at that email, I remember there’s this one portion of the email where he says he has 47 Kronas in the bank account. By the way how much is 47 Kronas?SVAVA: It’s uhm, less than one dollar.CLINT CLIFTON: Less than dollar. And he describes that all the dash lights on his dash are so he has so many lights on his dash telling things that are wrong with the car that it looks like a Christmas tree. And I remember he said the wind was blowing so hard and howling so hard when you were sitting in the car having this conversation. And the windows wouldn’t roll up or down. They were just broken. And so the wind was just whipping in the car. And he was just at like at the pit of despair. He was in you know, at the bottom of the barrels. SVAVA: We sometimes stop at the side of the road. He went out pulled up the…CLINT CLIFTON: Pulled up the window. SVAVA: Yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: And he was saying normally we would just like look at each other and laugh at how broke we are. He said that this time it didn’t feel funny.SVAVA: Uhm, it was becoming quite a long time. CLINT CLIFTON: Yeah. And I mean I think you know, there’s a church planner wife who’s watching this today or a church planter who’s watching this today and they’re in this season. You know, it’s just not funny anymore, like what do you say to them?SVAVA: Uhm, I would say uhm, that God’s grace is sufficient. Uhm, I would say that uhm, definitely reach out to someone you have around you that you can talk to because, when we did that, when he sent that email, it’s somehow like you guys contacted us after that. And it somehow God kinda restored our energy by just vocalizing how we felt. And, yeah, I think it’s really just be very dependent on the Lord and be open about how you feel. I mean… CLINT CLIFTON: So, the ministry was going well, but your financial reality is in your family were really challenging. And Gunnar essentially said I can keep this going about another year but I don’t think I can go beyond that. I don’t think that it’s sustainable. But at the end of a year things hadn’t gotten better. By many measures they’ve gotten worse. Can you just walk us through what happened after this?SVAVA: Well, Mikhail got diagnosed uhm, Autism at 1 ½ years old. Uhm, at that point I had already felt that something wasn’t quite right with him. Uhm, I didn’t wanna verbalize it because uhm, I just didn’t wanna say out loud that something was wrong. And so, when that diagnosis came uhm, it was still hard even though I knew but it was like I said it’s just that thing hearing somebody else say like your child is not healthy. Your child is not okay. Mhm. Those were difficult. And then…CLINT CLIFTON: And then beyond the autism diagnosis a little while later…SVAVA: And then, a year after Seiros is born. So its 2016 he gets diagnosed with cancer. Uhm,CLINT CLIFTON: He Mikhail.SVAVA: Yeah. He Mikhail. Yeah. And uhm, that was just I mean in a month before he stopped walking because that’s one of the signs or symptoms of the cancer – leukemia. And uhm, I can’t even describe I mean I have, there were people coming over that summer that uhm, have like come again to Iceland they’ve said “Hey! Remember I met you there…” and there’s just…CLINT CLIFTON: Nothing?SVAVA: No. It was just yeah. Yeah. It was just really hard. And, Uhm, on top of that I mean the financial situation had gotten a little bit better. But I mean, we were already tired you know? And then just boom! There came this big blow. And then, I get pregnant in the midst of the cancer treatment. And I mean, I do not have get easily pregnant. And I just had the biggest bump ever. And, still just God’s grace through that. I mean, there was a time where uhm, at the end of my pregnancy I couldn’t hold Mikhail because he couldn’t walk. And we couldn’t go outside for like many many weeks uhm in a row because yeah, I just couldn’t carry him anywhere. And there was this friend who came to my house and she said to me “So this is your life now. Like you know, you just, you’re just in here? All the time?” And when she asked me that, I just got so thankful like... just that question reminded me of how God had just sustained me through all that time. And I hadn’t even thought about that. The thought didn’t even cross my mind of you know, being just I don’t know just content. And that’s just amazing.CLINT CLIFTON: So, you’re saying she said kind of like uh, I can’t believe this is your life now and she received…SVAVA: Yeah, of course she looked at me like it was hard. I mean of course it was hard but still like God just filled me with this incredible peace you know?CLINT CLIFTON: Well so, I’m just interested in this you know in this progression of you know, Gunnar sending as an email saying ‘I can’t go any further here’ and then things getting unimaginably more challenging and difficulty. And somehow someway God’s sustaining you through all that. And the church growing, in the midst of all of that. And I mean I don’t think there’s any way to look back at the difficulties that you guys have gone through that process and not just say “Wow! God has been amazing to uphold them” uhm, especially when you’re in a situation where you’re so far away from supporters and friends and… That wasn’t the end of the difficulties.SVAVA: No. And then uhm, I gave birth to my son Solomon. And uhm, he was just supposed to be to have a torn esophagus. That’s why I was so big. He wasn’t swallowing the water. And uhm, so we were just already had in our mind that he was having the surgery and then two weeks later we were gonna go home. CLINT CLIFTON: So when Solomon was born, immediately you guys realized, something wasn’t right. SVAVA: Yes. Uhm, as soon as he came out the uhm, it’s like the air in the room shifted. Yeah. And then they took him away and I saw Gunnar was a little bit worried at that time. Uhm, I didn’t really think anything of it though. Until later, when they came after we got back to our room, and the doctor came and told us that he just wasn’t moving and then. Uhm he was alive but he wasn’t moving very well. And he couldn’t support his tongue by himself. Had a little difficulty in breathing. Yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: Okay. So, you’re immediately hit with something major is wrong but you didn’t know what it was.SVAVA: No. Not until 5 months later.CLINT CLIFTON: 5 months? 5 months. That’s a long agonizing 5 months.CLINT CLIFTON: And what was Solomon like during that time? Was it becoming clearer and clearer that his body wasn’t right?SVAVA: Yes. Uhm, they didn’t I mean at the time for the first like weeks of his life they said they were it could be very uhm, dangerous his condition. Yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: Like life threateningSVAVA: Yeah. Life threatening. Yeah. So, didn’t know what to expect. So, they didn’t want to get our hopes up.CLINT CLIFTON: So, you didn’t know what was wrong with him? You didn’t know if he was going to live or die?SVAVA: No. Not reallyCLINT CLIFTON: And 5 months later you got the diagnosis. And what was that? SVAVA: Uhm, so he got diagnosed with genetic mutation in his sex chromosome. Which basically means that his brain isn’t fully developed. It will like affect his personality, his speech, and his movement. And then he has, hypotonia which is muscle weakness. That’s why his really limp. And he has shorter feet. Yeah. But that’s kind of the basis of it. Yeah so.CLINT CLIFTON: And so, what are the doctors telling you that means for Solon’s future?SVAVA: Uhm, yes so, his condition is that his the third one in the world who has been diagnosed with this condition. And so, they don’t really have any files about how he will progress. And the two other persons they can’t compare him because each…CLINT CLIFTON: each is different.SVAVA: Yeah. So, we don’t really know. Where just, it’s another thing where we just learning more and more about you know? Just really depending on God’s working out the plan for his life. And trusting that He just exactly knows what He’s doing. CLINT CLIFTON: So, the way you say that it’s almost. You sound almost as if your anticipating in a positive way how God’s gonna support you and take care of you and that’s seems like an amazing thing for somebody who’s going through the level of difficulty that you have. SVAVA: Yeah. I actually didn’t have that uh, after he was born it wasn’t until uhm, maybe 6 months later where I just had really uhm, I had begun counseling at that time. And I was just kinda avoiding, I didn’t want to face my feelings, I didn’t want to face the hardships, didn’t want to think about that hardship during that time. And it was just one day were God kinda forced me into alone time situation with Solomon. And we were at home, and that’s just when I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore. They just poured over me. I just started crying, crying, crying over him. And just mourning. And that’s when uhm, it was almost like I felt just like God kinda just breathing over me. It’s almost tangible. Just like He was just breathing over me. That verse where Paul talks about uhm, you know there’s nothing compared to the glory that is to come? Basically uhm, it’s just like how uhm, my soul just got filled with that truth. And I believed it with every bone in my body. That’s why I think it’s just from that moment I have been given this just that hope, that just never ceases. It never yeah. That was an amazing moment.CLINT CLIFTON: Svava a lot of times the church planting families feel isolated they think about giving up because they feel isolated and they feel alone. You guys are literally isolated. You’re in the North Atlantic on a rock and there are no other church planters there in your country and you’re doing it all alone. And sometimes they fill as if they’re full of fear about the future. How money will happen in the future, How the church will grow. And you guys have faced all those fears. And I wonder uhm, having been in these 7-8 years now and looking back what would you have to say to the church planting family in the midst of those fears right nowSVAVA: Well uhm, after everything has happened, I mean I was definitely fearful of the future. And uhm, just in that unknown has been really hard. But uhm, I can just day that God will give you the means and provide you with grace and the wisdom that you will need each point of time you’re going through. He will do that. Uhm, it doesn’t necessarily look like sometimes He will but I can just speak with confidence that He does. I mean He like I told you earlier with the moment with Solomon He just provided. You know? With just that one word, it just provided everything that I need to just be uhm, hopeful about the future. Yeah. Rely on God’s promise. Yeah.CLINT CLIFTON: Svava thank you very much for your candor and your willingness to share your heart with me today. I appreciate you very much.SVAVA: Thank you for having me.ALBERT: Where do church planters come from? Well they don’t come from seminaries and they don’t come from a factory. Church Planters come from congregations. Their developed by Pastors who love and are prepared for Gospel ministry and sent out. But many churches don’t know where to begin and many Pastors are overwhelmed with the day to day duties of Pastoral ministry and don’t have time to put together a robust training program for the people in their congregation to be equipped. The North American Nation Board is helping with this. They have developed a thing called the Multiplication Pipeline. And it’s a three-level training course that takes place through multiple years for you to have the material and the guidance to get somebody in your congregation ready for church planting. The Multiplication Pipeline is available on NAMB’s website, you can find it at namb.net/pipeline.ALBERT: Thank you for listening to the church planting podcast. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review of your favorite podcast today.Today’s episode of the church planting podcast is sponsored by New City Network, The Church Planting Ministry of McClain Bible. A special thanks to todays guest Svava for taking time to join us. Josh Turansky produces todays show. Zukey Bastien was our show runner and her husband Nick was our editor. Thanks to Hudson Turansky and Marvin Moore who provided administrative and web support for the program and last but not least thanks to you for listening through to the end of the church planting podcast. Hey if you’d like to know more information about the show visit our brand-new website www.churchplantingpodcast.org. There you can see past episodes as well as notes and the links for today’s show. And be sure to tune in next week as Clint and Josh sit down to discuss the best practices surrounding Christmas services.

*Tons of story, standard time allotment *First Impressions: Growth? * #Negan & #TheWhisperers: #Comicbook canon? *...Bandon releases Negan in the comics, not show. *...Was it #CarolPeletier? Hers & Negan’s pragmatism *...Carol is emotionally reckless *...All the call-backs *Ideally, prison = reform: Negan = reformed(?) *Comics vs TV Brandon *...Call-back to Lizzie *... #AlexandriaSafeZone: in comfort, we turn on each other *...Brandon trusted to guard Negan? *...Branon isn’t real *...Negan needs to be “Negan” for his community *...Brandon romanticizes #TheSaviors, incorrectly: Negan’s Legacy *...Saviors’ sketchy recruitment *... #Lucille 2.0 *... #SaddamHussein now agrees with #RickGrimes’ version of community *...Alexandrian “immune system” unprepared for the #ZombieApocalypse *...Amelia calls #Walkers “Hissers”. #AndreaHarrison + Rick & Negan in the RV vibes *...Negan saves, Brandon doesn’t react *...Milo = missed-opportunity #CarlGrimes. #JudithGrimes #CaileyFleming #JeffreyDeanMorgan *...Brandon represents “Savior Negan”, now dead *...Dave, rooting for Negan to “blow your house all the way in” *Carol: a bazooka in a knife fight, blinded by vengeance, and f*cking crazy * #DarylDixon speaks! …in TWO languages! *...Compiling the #ConnieTWD & Daryl moments *... #CARYL: baggage & poisoned wells *I’m just #AaronTWD from Vermont *...Eerie moment between #GammaTWD & #AlphaTWD * #KingEzekiel’s unexpected diagnosis *...No time for haters or even abrasive opinions *Aaron’s & #AliciaClark: prepared to wield #TWDJesus’ sword *...Call-back to Aaron’s recruitment, now with fighting skills! *Walkers are still dangerous! Doubly so with Kelly’s hearing loss *Annoying whistler, Brandon, “Enemy of my Enemy” *...Negan talks about Lucille * #ForbiddenKnowledge: #Siddiq saw Henry die *...How does Zeke feel about this? *...Rachael’s needs the details, no matter what * #Magna & Yumiko’s (possibly unnecessary) backstory *...Magna guilty of murder, but righteous motive? *...Negan & Magna: prisoners *...Magna’s group’s secret stashes *... #TheHilltop formula: Gregory & Jesus, #MaggieRhee & Jesus, Jesus & #TaraChambler, to Zeke/Magna & Yumiko *... #SelfFulfillingProphecy: Magna thinks Yumiko looks down on her *... #TalkingDead’s “surprise guest” one of them? *...Reconciling with a long buried lie *Magna listening to Pre- #BetaTWD, singing over #EmilyKinney’s “The Turtle and the Monkey” *...“Oh, It’s sad but true” exact *...“Call you up to apologize” exact *...“And oh, oh, it’s a cold hard fact” exact *...“We’ve served some colorful vocabulary, baby, that we can’t take back” similar *...“And oh, oh we used to hold each other tight under sparkling trees” exact *Siddiq asks #DanteTWD about #RositaEspinosa, not Coco. #FatherGabriel *Alpha confirms the tree fall at Hilltop: grand plan = submission *...Gamma infected? #PTSD *...Alpha, The #Skinwalker *Negan, Aaron, Alpha, Gamma, Zeke, and Siddiq donning masks *Zeke doesn’t want Carol’s (possibly manufactured) pity/indifference *...Will she risk not saying goodbye to Zeke to kill Alpha? *...How will #TWDJERRY react? Might already know *...What it always is & I/You know what it is *Gabe not at Alexandria? looking for Negan? * #ReleaseTheNegan: Carol both spray-painted #SilenceTheWhispers and let him out?! *SNEAK PEAKS: *...Beta’s double knives at Negan’s throat; Negan/Alpha relationship; Negan’s Lydia knowledge *...Carol seeks to destroy the horde *...You’ve got a friend in “Classic Beta,” Office Linebacker. Testing Negan *...Daryl FINALLY calls out Carol for making things worse *... #EugenePorter / “TaterBug” on the radio; Who is on the other end? #FTWDCharlie #TheCommonwealth #TWD3 *Clearing up TWD3 details; #TWDprincess, soon? *...Eugene positioned for Commonwealth love interest? *...Definition of CRM? 3 Communities *Debbie/Deborah: one of Alpha’s masks * #EasterEggs to other series, but no more #crossovers *An unlikely romance between Eugene & Alicia --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/squawkingdead/message

What will set you apart as a leader in your voice? Start paying attention to the leaders you look up to and see if you can find these qualities in them. TONE of voice. This is literally rolling the emotions in so that we can hear it. Sometimes this means saying what you need to say with a tone to make your feelings clear. Sometimes this not verbally saying what you need to say, but instead saying it with your tone. Leaders don't have a problem saying what they need to say. There's no dancing around. A leader will say exactly what needs to be accomplished in words and tone. Leaders take a neutral tone. There is not irritation, passive-aggressiveness, sarcasm, etc. present in their tone, regardless of whether or not they feel it. You lose your power the moment you roll emotion into your tone.  They don't talk AT you, they talk TO you. Instead of "pushing" the conversation, they are connecting with you, present in the moment instead of barking orders at you and repelling you. They have the ability to make an emotional connection. Leaders make you feel heard - ex: I/You phrases. Leaders reveal to you who they are but they are not working in an emotional state 100% of the time. They are calm when they speak, even if they are upset. They're not trying to prove anything. They are calm and collected, regardless of the situation and what may be going on around them. Using these techniques have the power to transform not on your business interactions, but your personal relationships as well.   Until next time, you know what to do. Get out there and speak your truth, just do it beautifully.  Free training! The Voice Formula  Facebook Captivate the Room website YouTube Instagram    

 In this Episode of Close the Deal Without Selling Hosted by Communications & Sales Innovator, Ike KriegerYou'll Learn... It’s important to your success with the entire system that you be an effective listener. The Art of Listening Public Speaking Model The Prelude to The YES Formula™ Q. Qualify - Setting the ground rules for the sale U. Uncovering your prospect’s problem I.  Investment - Is there money to solve the problem? C. Capability - Can they spend money to solve the problem? K. Knowledge - Learn your prospect’s reasons for buying Controlling the communication, not the prospect   The person doing the talking is usually the one who’s perceived as controlling the communication. Just the opposite is true. The one who listens and asks questions controls the communication. The one doing the talking usually dominates the communication.   Some notes from Episode 6: The Public Speaking Model Tell them what you're going to tell them. Tell them. Tell them what you told them. Listening for Sales Before we dissect the Before and After Scenarios of Ep. 5 it’s important to your success with the entire system that you be an effective listener. Author Stephen Covey says, “Most people don’t listen with an intent to understand. Most people listen with an intent to reply.” Here’s another quote by someone a bit less well known, Wilson Mizner, and for the purposes of our system and the purpose of active listening… he nails it. "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." We’ll probably never find out where along the line the name of the author of this next piece got lost, but you’ll find that this poem, apparently written in the late 20th century, hits home on the psychological, the communication, and the human level. It will be interesting to find out what you get from the following, appropriately titled: Listen When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, You have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you’re trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen, not talk or do. Just hear me. Advice is cheap: 25 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper. And I can do things for myself; I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, maybe lonely and isolated and grieving and searching, but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can do, and need to do, for myself, you contribute to my fear and to my weakness. But when you accept, as a simple fact, that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you, and you can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious, and I don’t need advice. Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people, because THEIR God is mute and doesn’t try to give advice or try to fix things. He just listens, and lets you work it out for yourself. So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn. And I’ll listen to you. THE PRELUDE to The YES FormulaTM The Prelude provides the first set of Mutually Beneficial Agreements (M.B.A.) in the Q. section of the Yes Formula. Remember... the Q section only establishes the ground rules of QUICK. It is not the actual sales exam portion of the system. Memorize the following. “I don’t know yet if I can be of service to you because I don’t have enough information. But, if it’s OK with you, I have a few questions I’d like to ask and you might have some to ask of me--- and based on my experience, within the next few minutes we’ll know whether there is a reason to move forward or not. Is that an OK way to start?” Read the prelude out loud. I’m including it in the show notes. The prelude represents the first of many authentic communications with your prospect. Let’s face it. You really don’t know whether or not the prospect is interested in your product or service even if they may really need it. You have an opinion. You have your truth; however, their truth might not be the same as yours. Begin your communication by stating the undeniable truths contained in the Prelude. If the prospect agrees to the M.B.A.s contained in the prelude it’s time to share all the steps of Q.U.I.C.K. Qualify - Setting The Rules of Q. Now it’s time to establish the ground rules for the conversation. Remember... We as humans have a tendency to get upset with people for doing things we didn’t tell them they couldn’t do. An example of this is... how much we hate it when, after a great presentation, a prospect tells us “maybe” or “I want to think about it. We have all come to realize that when someone tells us “maybe” or “I want to think about it”, it’s usually a polite substitute for ... “No.” One of your rules has them agree to avoid both of those responses. Why would they agree to a request such as that? They would agree because it is mutually beneficial. Here is how to proceed with the setting of the rules. You have just completed the Prelude and they have given you permission to proceed with your communication. Thank them and say, “And if anywhere along the line you come to the conclusion that what we offer is not what you’re looking for, how comfortable are you telling me that? In other words, are you OK with telling me 'no'? They will usually respond that they are comfortable giving you a no. Continue by saying, “Obviously, I would prefer a yes. But if it is a “no” I would rather hear that than a “maybe” or an “I want to think about it.” I’ve noticed that in most cases, when someone tells me “maybe” or “I want to think about it” it's usually a polite substitute for what?” Point towards them and WFA (WFA=Wait for answer) They will almost always reply, “No.” Respond by agreeing, and assure them, “Of course, if you truly need more information, or time, you are most welcome to it. I just want to avoid “maybe” or “I want to think about it” as a substitute for “no.” You now let them know what is covered in each remaining portion of the system starting with the U. Uncover the prospect's problem “If it turns out you have the types of challenges or issues that you believe my product or service can resolve, and you’re going to be the judge of that---,” (Continue to I.) Investment - Is there a Budget to solve the problem?  “and should we get that far, we’re going to have to take a look at what type of dollars you’ve set aside to resolve those issues. How comfortable will you be in sharing the amount of dollars, in ballpark figures only?” They will either say, OK, or they will obfuscate. In the case of the latter, assure them that whatever their choice in sharing those numbers they can decide in the moment. You can tell them “I just don't want to catch you off guard if I started to ask about budget later in our conversation. Capability - Can the prospect make the decision to spend the money to solve the problem? “Also, if you conclude that what we offer IS what you’re looking for--- who besides yourself would be involved in the decision to move forward? Or--- are you comfortable making that decision on your own?” When it’s a NO, ask them, “What will you have to find out in our meeting that would prompt all the decision makers to gather for a similar conversation?. If they say, "Yes. I can make the decision." Verify no additional decision makers by asking rhetorically something appropriate for their business. “No partners, Board members, accountants, or attorneys?”  Knowledge - Discover reason for decision “And— either way—if you choose to move ahead with us, or not--- I’d be interested in knowing the reason behind your choice. How willing are you going to be to share that information with me?” (WFA) “Great! Do you want to go first or should I?” You have just completed the Q. phase of Q.U.I.C.K. Selling™. The answers the prospect just gave you helps qualify or disqualify them as a candidate for your problem-solving product or service You have clarified what the conversation you are about to have will contain. You have set the guidelines for your communication. You have given the Prospect implied control over the upcoming communication. If the prospect agrees to go along with these simple guidelines you can begin the second step of the process, which is to go over each of the remaining sections of Q.U.I.C.K. in the form of your sales examination.   IMPLIED CONTROL I heard the following story at a meeting of Sales and Marketing Executives International Imagine that you're driving through life in a metaphorical two seat car. There is a driver’s seat. There is a passenger seat. We were asked, “As a salesperson--- in which of the two seats would you prefer to sit? Would you prefer to sit in the driver’s seat or the passenger’s seat?” Nearly everyone in the room responded that they would prefer to sit in the driver’s seat. This question was asked next. “In which seat you think the prospect would like to sit?” Nearly everyone in the room responded that the prospect would prefer to sit in the driver’s seat. Since both parties wanted to sit in the same seat an immediate level of conflict was created. It was agreed that both parties wanted to sit in the driver’s seat because each believes the person in the driver’s seat is the one in control of this metaphorical journey. Just the opposite is true. Give up the driver’s seat. Let the prospect sit where they want. If the prospect sits in the driver’s seat that means that you will be the sitting in the passenger seat. At first glance this may appear as a negative. Remember your new role in the sales process. You are now a magical problem solver. What responsibility can you assume while sitting in the passenger’s seat that will allow you to function as a magical problem solver? The answer is: assume the role of navigator. Navigators help people get to their destination If the prospect knew how to get to their destination on their own, they would get there. But, since they can’t, don’t know how to, or don’t want to go it alone, they are looking for someone they like and they trust who can guide them to their desired outcome or destination. Most salespeople prefer the driver seat because they believe that it affords more control over the prospect. You can never control the prospect. The only thing over which you have control is the communication. In this case the communication itself is the journey. Another powerful and positive byproduct of moving into the passenger seat is that it gives you the option of getting out of the car if you are not thrilled with the destination. In other words, you can say to the prospect that is driving the car, “please let me out at the corner.” Since you are the guide on this journey the one doing the driving has only implied control rather than actual control. Remember that the problem you are trying to solve is the problem of the prospect. This system is about controlling the communication, not the prospect. Your commitment in this communication exercise is to help them get to the destination to which they want to get. This is vastly different than trying to get them to a destination to which you would like to get them. Give up the driver’s seat and take on the role of navigator.   Remember… The person doing the talking is usually the one who’s perceived as controlling the communication. Just the opposite is true. The one who listens and asks questions controls the communication. The one doing the talking usually dominates the communication.            

When looking to change things in your world, how do you let pleasure be the force that guides you? How do you fulfill desire while you fight for change? How do you take care of yourself while you transform? And how do you allow organic, sustainable change to emerge in your life - without feeling like you have to force things? Today we’re speaking with author, activist, and healer adrienne maree brown. Her most recent book, the New York Times bestseller “Pleasure Activism”, leans into black feminist traditions to challenge you to rethink the groundrules of how to facilitate change in your own life, and in the world around you. In this episode, you’ll hear more about how adrienne came to this work, and her thoughts on how to be imperfect, yet honest, in relationship. You’ll learn how to bring true integrity into your relationships - and ways to ensure that your health and wellbeing aren’t compromised while you grow and transform.  As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Beautiful jewelry, exquisite craftsmanship, sustainable sources, and affordable prices. Get $75 OFF your purchase at hellonoemie.com when you use the coupon code "ALIVE". With free overnight shipping and free returns, you can see something online today, and try it on tomorrow risk free. Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you. Resources: Visit adrienne maree brown’s website to learn more about her books and her other projects. Pick up a copy of Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown on Amazon. Listen to Episode 12 on the Healing Justice podcast for a Somatic Centering practice. FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE) Visit www.neilsattin.com/amb to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with adrienne maree brown. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host Neil Sattin. I want to start by saying that I believe in the power of synchronicity. I believe that when synchronicities happen it means something. And so to me it meant a lot when I was walking into a bookstore with a new friend of mine in New York City and she grabbed this book off the shelf and she said, "Given what we've just been talking about how you want to make this huge impact with your work and with the Relationship Alive podcast you need to read this book." And she handed me a book called "Emergent Strategy" by adrienne maree brown.  adrienne maree brown: Oh wow.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. And after reading that book and being so moved by what I read there both in terms of the promise that it holds for how our lives can unfold in a way that's really organic and natural and suited to who we are as people and also how that can impact the communities that we form whether it be our micro communities our family, our friends, or our larger communities, the movements that we become a part of and how we create change in this world. It was just super inspiring to me and I was delighted to see that adrienne was coming out with a new book called "Pleasure Activism," which just hit the New York Times Bestseller List and I thought you know what, like, I have to talk to this person and hopefully they'll talk to me. So. So I reached out and fortunately here we are today to talk to adrienne maree brown, who is a social justice facilitator, focused on black liberation, a doula, healer and a pleasure activist and a coach. And the list goes on and on. And honestly I can relate and I love that about...  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: About her work. And so we're gonna be here to talk about emergence and pleasure and how this all unfolds in the world of relationship. The relationship you have to yourself, the relationship you have to your beloved or beloveds, and the relationship you have with the world. As usual we will have a detailed transcript of today's episode which you can get if you visit Neil Sattin-dot-com-slash-A-M-B as in adrienne maree brown or you can always text the word "passion" to the number 3 3 4 4 4 and follow the instructions. And that will get you the transcript and the show notes and all that good stuff.  adrienne maree brown: Oh cool.  Neil Sattin: I think that's it. So adrienne, thank you so much for being here with us today on Relationship Alive.  adrienne maree brown: Thanks for having me now. I'm excited that a podcast it's about relationships in this way, exists. So I'm like yay! Let's talk about it.  Neil Sattin: Awesome. Yeah I've been thinking about a good way to dive in without asking you like a ridiculously broad question, but I might have to start with a ridiculously broad question.:.  adrienne maree brown: You're like, I tried! I can't. It's ok. What's the  ridiculously broad question.  Neil Sattin: Well. Yeah. So let's start with this idea about pleasure and activism and what does it mean to have pleasure be the center of how one operates in the world? adrienne maree brown: For me, you know, I got this terminology, was taught to me and I learned the words from an organizer named Keith Cyler, who was the founder of something called "Housing Works," that's based in New York that raises resources and all kinds of resources like financial resources, but also does trainings and other things like that for people who are dealing with house-lessness, dealing with HIV, AIDS. And I was really moved by his genius and his work. But, one time we were just sitting around having a good time and he talked to me about this terminology "pleasure activism," and it stuck with me over the years so I kept being like "Oh. Like what could that mean? What could that mean? What could that mean?" And especially as I I grew, you know, I've always been very aware that there's a lot in the world that is broken that is hurting that is traumatized, and inside of that reaching for how are we meant to connect with each other? And somewhere in there this idea of pleasure activism kept returning to me as I was doing voter organizing, returning to me as I was learning about harm reduction, returning to me as I was supporting people to do direct action, nonviolent civil disobedience. It just kept coming back. And when I was working on my last book emergent strategy, I had to include it as a concept and I wasn't sure at that point like am I going to flesh this all the way out? Like there's a lot here. But then at some point I was like, "Let me just.... Like what would it look like." You know, what would it look like to actually flesh this out? And I had been reading Audrey Lorde's text "the uses of the erotic:: as power," which I got permission to reprint in this book. And I really loved her use of the erotic. And yet I just kept coming back to this idea of pleasure. Like that pleasure includes the erotic, but also includes a lot of things that may or may not be erotic, and so I was like, what is pleasure. And I looked up and its just like happy, joy and satisfaction. And I was like, "Gosh it seems so simple and yet there's so much resistance to it. There's so much fear of it there's so much control of it. And. And for those of us who are like actively trying to change the world in some way there's a denial of it, right? Like it's like, "We are not allowed to have that. We need to be fighting for this you know future that's off in the future somewhere.".  Neil Sattin: Right.  adrienne maree brown: And I just remember landing and like. Wouldn't it be so radical to listen to Audrey Lourde had taught us about engaging the erotic now, engaging our full aliveness, in this moment. And for black women who, you know, that's who is at the front of my mind when I wrote this text, you know, I was like there's a lot that has intentionally cut us off from our relationship with joy and happiness and pleasure and contentment and satisfaction. It's been trained into us that we're not allowed to have those things so I got very... Then I got very light lit up with this idea, that I was like, "Oh what if we could have these things? Like what if it's a measure of our freedom to reclaim pleasure?" And so that kind of sent me off down this path that has been really exciting. And you know it's interesting because activism in general is not where I land right? Like I, I've often been like I'm an organizer! And for me the distinction you know, I think activists or folks who are really like advocating for something like using their public sphere to advocate for something, going and talking to friends. Organizers to me or folks who are like, "I'm actually trying to move a strategy amongst the people." Right? Like I'm going to go find those who are not going to just easily be reached and I'm going to knock on their doors and I'm going to find out what they need and and build an analysis and a vision together. And so you know it's like, "OK is activism OK for this? And it felt like actually for this, it is it is important that as many people in the world as possible begin to come out and advocate for all of our rights to have pleasure to have pleasure be an organizing principle of how we structure our relationships in our society. And then it starts with reclaiming our own, and moves out from that place. So I'm excited that it exists. I'm excited that it came together and then I've been really blown away by the responses. So I'm like, OK this... I really for a while was like, "This is not the time to be putting out right now. We need something about justice or we need something about like you know I kept having this strategic idea around if this current administration is starting fires all over the place. I kept thinking like, how do we conjure up water? How do we vaporize ourselves in some way to come up and over and rain down on them? And I was like, I got to go write that strategy book or whatever. And then I realized I was like, "Oh this is actually it," in a way?  Neil Sattin: This is that book.  adrienne maree brown: This is actually that book and that's been clicking to me that I'm like: This is it. This is the way that we become more powerful through pleasure, through what we can release rather than what we can contain. So. Yeah.  Neil Sattin: I love it. It's to me... What was I mean there are so many threads that came together for me as I was reading the book, and even just in hearing you speak right now. Primarily, that way that people are so.... Many people, I should say are so exhausted right now, with with just the state of affairs and....  adrienne maree brown: That's right.  Neil Sattin: ...that's political, it's environmental it's economic. There is a lot that's taxing us and that's something that regenerates us when we can find the sources of pleasure within us and in how we connect with the world that I think allows us to bring more of ourselves to the world and and also highlights the places where we are denying ourselves or denying others that inalienable right for...  adrienne maree brown: That's right.  Neil Sattin: ...the experience of joy.  adrienne maree brown: That's right.:I mean it blows my mind to really think about, like, what people what people have survived, like often when I stand in a room of people and I'm giving a speech or a talk or a training or something. There's a lot of me that's present with that moment but then there's also a part of me that's kind of thinking about all the lineages of all these human beings and how some of them in this moment have landed in a place of power, or privilege, and some of them haven't ended up in a place that's not that. But that those lineages all include some survival, some fighting to exist some taking a risk, some you know, moving out into the world with an unknown response you know, like we don't know what's going to happen here. We don't know if we're heading the right way. We don't know if we're going to survive and that there have been so many things that have have you know, like so much of our human history has just been about surviving, right? Just like can we make it? And so there's something interesting to me now to be like, I think I think we have shown that like oh we could make it like we could figure this out. We could be on this planet technically. But what is the life worth making it for? Like, what is worth surviving for?: Neil Sattin: Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: And now I think we're actively in that question. That is like, all of us deserve this relationship to pleasure. And when you look at like who thinks they deserve it or who is encouraged to have it, it's actually a very narrow small grouping of human beings. And I think that's because of capitalism. You know, I really think that as an economic system, capitalism thrives when we believe that we are not good enough and that we need to buy something outside of ourselves in order to experience pleasure. And I love the trick of it which is like, if you actually just drop down into your own body, which is the only thing in your entire life that you ever truly have, from the beginning to the end, if you just drop down into it, it's wired for pleasure. And those wires may have been crossed, you know, there may be some like dysfunctional parts of it because of trauma, because of pain, because of... which I now, also when I meet everyone, I'm like, 'I know you have some trauma," right? Like, I know you have some.  Neil Sattin: Yeah no one escapes that.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah. I don't know what it is. I don't know how severe or central it is to your life, or your life story it is to your life, or your life story. I don't know if you had the resources to recover or not, but I know it's there. And so I think like, "oh." What we're dealing with is like, what is the relationship between that trauma that's everywhere. And this system that's telling us that we can't heal ourselves we shouldn't even feel ourselves. We should just kind of outsource that to something we can purchase. And, and, then how in that do we find a way to be in RIGHT relationship with each other on this planet. Right? So that's the stuff I keep, I keep floating around with us like I want to, I want to leave a world behind me that people like I like I feel very compelled. I want to be here. It feels good, right? And that doesn't mean that I think we will solve the climate crisis in my lifetime because I do think... You know...  I really believe in Gopal Dayaneni, 1who works over at Movement Generation and talks about, like, there's things that we have already set in motion that we are gonna have to face the consequences of as a species. And I don't deny that that's what's coming to us but inside of that I think we also have to be actively fomenting pleasure and actively fomenting like reconnecting ourselves to land and to each other because as the changes happen we're still going to need to be able to feel, feel pleasure, feel satisfaction feel like being here. Otherwise we'll just depress and numb and you know kind of slip away. And I think that would be an unworthy end to our species.  Neil Sattin: Totally agree with you and a word that popped into my mind that I would like to add to that, is resilience.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: The more that we're embracing our capacity for resilience in terms of how we heal our lineage of trauma. Or present moment traumas in terms of how we make things right when they've gone wrong, and do that in the context where what we're shooting for what we're envisioning is something joyful blissful like that actually has ease and pleasure connected to it.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah. Yes.  Neil Sattin: Then that that makes it worth it and gives us kind of a... I hate to use the word technology, but like a technology of continually adjusting to get there.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: You talk in "Emerging Strategy," about adapability... Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: Exactly. Yeah exactly. Yeah. Well, I was just going to say, I was like, yeah. You know, like, to me emergent strategy and pleasure activism really go together like they're holding hands, dancing across the field of ideas and I really think that this this idea of resilience. You know I have a teacher Alta Starr who's always pushing me to be like you know, resilience is beyond even harm, right? It's sort of like this natural capacity we have to learn to adapt, to like grow, to learn from whatever changes come. And it's hard for me because I'm still like "Well. But also when someone hurts us, you know we had to be resilient." And you know it's hard in a city like Detroit because you know resilience can be weaponized. Like if people like you bounce back from anything, like, we'll just keep doing anything to you. Like you know we'll add an incinerator to your neighborhood or whatever you'll be fine. And so I think there's something about, Oh to me, like how do we have a transformative resilience right. How do we have resilience that is not just like we can recover back to conditions that we weren't very happy with in the first place. And being like oh you know when I look at like what am I recovering? I'm recovering something that's beyond my own origin, you know like I need to recover something that goes back past the many hours that my grandmother overworked, and I need to recover something that goes back past my enslaved ancestors, and recover something that goes back past my kidnapped answers, and you know, ancestors, like I feel this long, long, long arc of the work that I'm in right now where I'm like. Almost everyone that came before me was trying to work towards some joy some freedom some sense of safety for their children themselves. And now I am awakened so like I am aware of all of that and I have an option in front of me to be resilient across time and space right. And that feels very exciting. You know, I think as hard as it is to live in this age of hyper connectedness because I think it is really hard. My friend angel Kyoto Williams talks about this, that like, we we are given access to so much more information than we've ever had access to before but we're not given the tools to handle it all, right? Like we're not taught here's how to meditate. Here's how to pass what's overwhelming back to the earth or back to God or back to whomever you trust with it. We're not given those those technologies, right? So we kind of flailing a lot of the time of like, I'm receiving all this, I'm trying to care about all of it and we find ourselves stretched so far but I also think the really beautiful thing about that is like we can see how many people believe what we believe, how many people are trying to practice what we're trying to practice so we can find each other. You know you and I would have never found each other if it wasn't for this modern state of connection. And to be able to say like, "Oh you're out here in Maine fomenting these ideas and I'm out here in Detroit fomenting these ideas and we have very different lineages. And yet we both have arrived in this place where it's like this is a path. This is a way to move forward it's important. Paying attention to relationship is important." And so that you know, that gives me hope inside of the the struggle of this overwhelming moment where there is so much that is hard. It's also there's so much that is overwhelmingly beautiful and overwhelmingly good and there's so many ways that you know also we live on such a resilient planet. So, I often think about this that I'm like, you know, and I feel like I'm trying to remember whoever first said this idea, because I was a Oh snap! That's a game changer! It's like, the Earth is gonna be OK.  Neil Sattin: Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: Right? Like the earth is gonna be OK. Like, it might be, she might go through an Ice Age or something, but like if we're not here she'll still be OK. And like if we're not here she'll recover from whatever we've done. Like how we've remixed her nature into other kinds of things. And, I don't know if you saw this story came out last week about the white-throated rail, did you see that?  Neil Sattin: I hadn't but I saw you wrote about it on your on your blog. Yeah. adrienne maree brown: I was so moved by this. So this like little bird...:The debate is basically this bird re-evolved, right. Like it went extinct at 136,000 years ago, roughly. Because like,  these things are hard to track but like... Now this bird has has re-evolved has come back into existence. The same little -- it's a flightless bird. There's something about that that just I, I read it and I really was like moved in a way I was like, I didn't know I needed to know that that was possible. But, I was like, I need to know that that level of resilience is possible, like somewhere down in the programming of this planet. There's there's some code that's just like white throated rail.: And just because we can no longer see the creature, it doesn't mean that it's, it's disappeared like there's some aspect of it that DNA that's in there. And yeah, it made me feel like OK. Like there's mysteries on mysteries on mysteries when it comes to this planet. And there's so much that we can't understand. And so inside of that I'm like, you know, I love thinking really big grandiose thoughts. But then I try to bring them back down into very small tangible practices. Small ways of being with each other because I'm like, I can't imagine how we'll get through the climate catastrophe that we're in right now. But I can imagine being in right relationship with the planet around me and making better choices about this local place that I'm in and being place based and loving. Even though I travel a lot but I'm like rooting myself into the soil in Detroit in all the ways that I can. Like this is where I bury my compost. This is where I play with children. This is where I go find like where's the Detroit grown foods every summer and I am really cautious now. I've made a major shift in my life around how I produce waste. Like what kind of waste I will put out so that I tried to really shrink down my garbage waste to the, like the very very you know, it's like if I can rinse it and I can clean it off and it can be recycled. It's gonna be recycled if it's food if it can go into compost it goes into compost like I used to have a massive garbage bin that I was putting out. And I'm like I live alone. You know all of that with stuff that like other things can be done with. And now it's like you know a huge portion of what comes out of my home is gonna be recycled and reused again. And, I'm aiming at zero waste. I'm constantly trying to figure out where is and where other places where I can... I just bought this new set of like ziplocks reusable kind of Ziploc thingies, that so you know because I'm a, I'm a fan of Ziploc bags like I'm like you've put anything in a Ziploc bag. You can go anywhere you have it I carry like in my suitcase there's always like five Ziploc bags just like folded just in case because you just never know what you're gonna need a Ziploc bag for. And so I'm like, oh that's a next frontier that I need to like, you know, figure out a way to advance through and I'm like, oh I can do this, right. So anyway all of that to say to me I'm trying in my personal life to get in right relationship with nature and my body is a huge part of that. Like if I'm not in right relationship and respecting the miraculous, like, Stardust nature of my body then how can I even begin to be in my relationship with the rest of the living world.  Neil Sattin: Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: So, OK. So first, I'm so moved when I hear you talk about not really being able to read the code but seeing the expressions of the code like..  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: ...the bird coming back into existence from extinction and even when you were describing how you and I could be doing different work in different places and yet here we find ourselves together having this conversation.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: To me that is an expression of the power of something that's ineffiable, that like we can't understand but if we're willing to to follow that path and and follow the ways that it's growing and things are emerging then, then at least that inspires hope in me that there's like an antidote to disconnection, to destruction.  adrienne maree brown: Yes.  Neil Sattin: To...  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: ...all the forces that were that were working against and in terms of relationship the ways that people are, you know, experience this desire for closeness and connection. You know part of our, our wiring as you were mentioning earlier is to be connected to each other.  adrienne maree brown: That's right.  Neil Sattin: And yet, it becomes such a source of pain partly because we either intentionally or unintentionally traumatize each other and then also because of the social structures and their impact on us. When you talk about pleasure and relearning pleasure, getting in touch with your body and and I like that stand that you take for for the personal being political that fractal nature of...  adrienne maree brown: Yes. Yeah.  Neil Sattin: ...transformation. I think about how many of us are just kind of following the script of romance and love and sex and pleasure and needing...  adrienne maree brown: When did you become aware that there was a script?  Neil Sattin: Oohh. Well that's it's been an unfolding for me, for sure. And I think probably I became most aware of it when I inadvertently hurt someone. And like had no idea that that was happening for them and found out later and then you know, thankfully we've had our moments of amends and talking and all of that. But, in restoring ourselves. That was probably the inception of it. And then all through college.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: And then in my current relationship, I'm so blessed to be with someone who's taken a strong stand for her own boundaries around her own healing, her own trauma. And it forced me to even go even deeper into like, "Well, what am I looking for in relationships?".  adrienne maree brown: Right.  Neil Sattin: What am I looking for in sex? Would it like what is this rejection, quote-unquote, that I'm experiencing in this moment and what is that really about? And and so that has forced me to ask deeper questions, and to get progressively more and more honest with myself and with her, to a point where fairly recently I feel like I've hit ground zero. But it's it's a process it's definitely been an unfolding and watching those layers fall away. And then once they do being like, All right well how do I replace this? If I'm going to do sex the way that I thought I should? Or you know I think it was an essay that you wrote where you mentioned a babysitter who was watching Porky's when you were...  adrienne maree brown: Yes.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. And the way those things inform our sense of, of what's what's erotic, what turns us on, all of that. Once I peel those things away and come back to, this moment and what's real. Well...  adrienne maree brown: That's right.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. That's what my journey has been like and I've, I've certainly tried to surface that a bunch here on the podcast and and I'm really excited to hear your thoughts about that unfolding for yourself and, and you mentioned meditation earlier. Yeah. What are the the pathways into, kind, of breaking down the, the unhealthy learnings? And coming back into right relationship with with ourselves as relational, sexual, erotic, pleasure oriented being?  adrienne maree brown: Beings, right? I feel like... a couple of things. I mean I think one is, there was a period of time where I was, I was really convinced that sex didn't have anything to do with me or what I was feeling. Like, I was really like what is the other person feeling and like that's that's what's important right now. And like my job is to make sure that that experience is a whole good one. Right? And, and I feel like, I remember like, there's just moments in most of its relational right. Like most of it is like just other people reflecting something back. And it's like "Girl, it doesn't had to be like that." You know? People talking to me, reading stuff. I remember reading the work of Andrea Dworkin. Have you read her? Like she she talks pretty scathingly about marriage and pornography and like, a lot of things that I was just I took for granted, were like those are good things that you try to get to in life. And, I don't agree with everything, you know, I feel like there's a lot of brilliant thinking in what she said and I feel like there's also not a lot offered of like here are other true pleasures, you know, like here's the ways to get them.  Neil Sattin: Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: But there was something that blew open for me where I was just like, I want to be able to consider this. I want to be able to consider that everything I was told about where pleasure in my life would come from and, or,  was, was and wasn't allowed. That maybe all that is wrong. Right? And then Audrey Lorde's writing, Octavia Butler's writing. There were just all these different people who were giving me. It was never just about sex. It was never just about the body. It was alway, have a revolution about how you think about how things work in the world. Start to ask questions and get curious about who benefits from these systems. Right? So, I remember, I remember having a quest-, you know, a conversation with a friend about marriage and just being like, who benefits? Who benefits in marriage, right? And, uh, and being pretty like oh my gosh. No one should ever get married. I was like, "No woman should ever get married!" Like I felt very strongly like, Nope it's not, it's just not a good idea. Like you will work forever in a labor that will never ever get acknowledged. You will not be able to pursue passion, work, things that you actually care about. You'll not be respected in the process. And then you know, and then he'll cheat on you. Like this is the arc of  it, right? Because you know he'll need something younger and prettier and he's worked you out, right? And I remember having that conversation as like, NO! You know? Like, and then be like well no that's just one way that's a model that is... The system that benefits from that is patriarchy. And if I can understand that then I can be like let me target patriarchy. Let me... And like I, I'm very lucky that I came across the work of Grace Lee Boggs where she really is like: Transform yourself to transform the world. And this is something I say probably every day of my life. There's some place or some way in which I say this to someone else or to myself. So I was like oh Where is patriarchy in my own practice? Where is patriarchy is showing up in how I'm approaching a relationship? And some of the interesting places were how quickly I would be dishonest for the sake of connection. And I say connection in quotation marks there, right? That I was like Well I don't want to be alone and, like, being alone is a sign of someone who's not a good person or whatever. Right? You have to be like with someone to be like a part of the human experiment or whatever. First you know, that that is...  I no longer believe that, but like you know. But at the time I just like, ok, I don't want to be alone. So I would go out on a date or someone, you know, I feel like I was I feel like I came up like right at the end of dating, also. So it's like right at the end of like when you would actually say, "Let's go on a date to a place and get to know each other." For maybe three or four times we would do that before we are actually alone in either of our places. And you know something else would happen right. I'm like I come from what feels like almost a chaste time before the apps kind of popped off into, just your place or mine. Like what's good? You know? And I talk about apps as if I know what I'm talking about I've never really used that apps to, that's just not how I meet people. But, but, I know that the majority of people in my life that's now how people connect. But so you go out and you're having these initial conversations and my practice was to just kind of listen for what I thought the other person really wanted to hear and then delivered that somehow. And you know, I grew up as a military brat. I moved like roughly every two years, so you get really good at figuring out like what is the, what are the rules here, and how do I adapt to be safe within them? And it can be hard when you get good at that to also be like. And then what is what is fundamental to me like what is the me that I'm also carrying to each place that needs to adapt? And the same thing in dating like what is the me that's showing up? And like might adapt in some relationship but like why am I rushing to not just adapt, but like completely contort into something? Why am I so desperate for being in relationship that I won't even be there? Like I wanted it to be me that shows that. Yeah. So I feel like I had rounds and rounds of that and it never worked. I kept having this heartbreak, that was really almost never about the other person. But it was about facing how much I had contorted to get in the door, and then how little I actually wanted to be inside that house, right?  Neil Sattin: Yeah, yeah.  adrienne maree brown: Whatever house it was. And so, I feel like I took...  Neil Sattin: Which by the way is a super common problem that people have.  adrienne maree brown: It's every, it's everywhere. You know when, I do a bunch of you know like you said coaching and mediation and stuff like that, and I find like that is the number one thing. That's the number one thing is that people are like you're just not who you've said were.  Neil Sattin: Right.  adrienne maree brown: And how could you not be who you said you were? And how could you not uphold the promises that you made? And it's just like I was lying. I was, I wasn't even there. Like I don't even know I'm sorry. You know.  Neil Sattin: Right. And then there's that additional layer of oh wait a minute. Now we also have to deal with your shame around who you... around your truth. yeah.  adrienne maree brown: Exactly. And it's the shame and the still absence of yourself. Right? So, so often. Now I've been doing a lot of support for people who are in their mid 30s to 50s and a lot of the folks I'm supporting are going through major breakups of fundamental relationships. And it's interesting because they're like who am I? Like, who am I? You know like so much was defined in relationship to this other person? And that's how so many people get trained to become themselves. It's like now, now I'm ugly, I'm half of something, and now that's who I am. And so much of the work is being like; "You're a whole something. You're a whole something." And I think the thing I'm always watching out for is not to send people all the way to the other side of the pendulum, right.:To me the personal is political only as it relates to being part of a collective effort to be political about what is personal, right? So I feel like this is you know someone was asking me I did an interview yesterday, and they're like what about the GOOP, like what about the like white women taking bathes, or whatever. And I was just like "Yeah. Like you know that so much of self care is about that. It's like white people with privilege go off to the spa and that's when you know, often, I mention to people they're like, I'm not about all that, you know? And I'm just like, "Yeah I I don't think that that's political, necessarily, either right?" I think it becomes political in relationship to your identity. I think it becomes political in relationship to the community you're a part of and how you're making sure that everyone has access to the beautiful good parts of life, right? And so you know I'm part of a community. I'm part of many communities. And there's a particular community I call the goddesses. And it's a bunch of women, we all went to school together. Right now everyone's like slaying dragons in all these different fields of life, and we have started to really, like, have each other's backs and hold each other down in a way that like we didn't know how to necessarily do back then. Right. But we've rediscovered each other and been like we need to like all you know like how about half of us, half of the people are moms. And so it's like we need to go places where like everyone here gets to relax and be taken care of. That we get to be part of something that's close knit and intimate, but that we get to have massages or we get to be in a hot tub or we get to you know just cook for each other or take each other out to the best places we can find to eat. And like, there's so many small pleasures that feel really important, like it wouldn't be great for me if I was just like I'm over here living my best life and all my sisters were out here struggling. Like, I don't think that that's a way towards freedom, right? For me it's very important that as I have access, I increase access for everyone else and I particularly increase access for those who have less access than me. Like that to me as part of the political commitment I'm in for my lifetime.: Neil Sattin: Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. There's... I'm just thinking here about the, uh, the commodification of self care and I think that's part of what you're talking about, right? Is that like...  adrienne maree brown: Yes. Capitalism! Neil Sattin: You actually have to... Yeah. There it is again. There it is again. adrienne maree brown: it's always there. Yeah.  Neil Sattin: One thing that popped up for me when you were talking about structures and like, I would never get married! And you know and then and then that sense of like well OK. It's just the system and who does it benefit and maybe there's a time and a place. What popped up for me was this question around the dance between safety and I think it was because you mentioned, you know, when going out on a date, like part of what's happening there is deciding, Am I safe with this person?  adrienne maree brown: Exactly. Yeah.  Neil Sattin: And. And then that because safety is right up there with connection in terms of something that we, that we require in order to function as humans. That's right. So and that's interesting as you start pulling apart the structures because one thing that marriage can be really good at...  adrienne maree brown: Is safety.  Neil Sattin: ...is supporting safety. Exactly. And so how do you start to loosen those tethers in a way that still supports people being held. Because if you're not feeling safe, you're not growing in a way that's probably generative for you you're just like scrambling back to safety for the most part.  adrienne maree brown: That's right. You know I think I love this question, Neil. I think this is like, this is an essential one. To me it's like, OK how do we balance these things. And a couple of thoughts leap to mind. One is that I think people feel like they have to choose between safety and like, being their whole selves or being their, being in their dignity, like all of it. And that first part, that feels like it's not true. Right, I'm like that's part of the lie that we've been told is that you have to choose. So you can either be safe in a marriage where you don't get to be fully realized as yourself or you can be fully realized as yourself. But like, you know, without that stability and I've seen it, I've seen the case more often than not be that you find that deep safety within yourself. It's a feeling not a story that you're telling about your life, right. Or a projection you're giving for someone else but it's actually like some, a felt sense, like I feel it in my life. Most of my life now, I feel safe right? And I can feel when that changes. Like sometimes I'll be in a space where there's just too many people, too much energy, something's off, you know? And I can feel it and it heightens my senses, it heightens my awareness, it makes me pay attention to what's happening around me. But then I think something like marriage, it's that kind of commitment, what I see so often happening is that people get into it and then they're like, "This isn't the safety that I thought it was going to be," right? Maybe it is for the first month or the first year or even until the first child or whatever, you know. But then there's some moment where that falls away because what you, what you thought you had, was like, I know you and you know me. And what's really happening is you're changing and I'm also changing and so I've officiated a few weddings and one of things that's been exciting is that the people asked me to officiate are like we want to commit to changing together, right. That to me is the kind of commitment that I can get behind where people are like I know this person again and I'm not going to change but I'm so curious about who they are and who they will become and I want to be there for that ride. And so it's not about marriage as entrapment and like catching you into one single identity, or any relationship, because now I'm like, you know I had to get married to be trying to trap someone in your web and I really like the model which I'm sure you've heard of of relationship anarchy. I don't think anything is perfect perfect thing that I really like it because so much of it is like, you know safety. You know, I think you were talking about with safety to me so much of that is rooted in trust.  Neil Sattin: Mm hmm.  adrienne maree brown: Right. It's like, Oh I trust that you're gonna do what you say you do. You say you're gonna do. And I trust that I can tell you my truth or whatever it is. And in relationship anarchy, which I think is like someone in Sweden, Andie Nordgren or something like that.  Neil Sattin: Yeah I forget.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah I have to go look at her name but there's you can look a bit like a "relationship anarchy manifesto." Right. And I love it because it's like trust is something that we build together over time, and like we start out with a default of trust like rather than starting out with the default of like, you've got it, you know like your trust is at zero and you have to like somehow bring it up to a hundred and never let your stuff like, never fuck up like never ever break my trust in anyway, or I'm gonna hold that against you for the rest of time. And I'm like instead you start from a place of like I have an abundant sense of trust for like my place in the world, for what I'm up to in the world, for like the work that I'm here to do, my purpose and then I meet you. And I'm just gonna offer you trust as a human being and what I am counting on is that if you break my trust, then we'll figure out how to recover together. Right? And sometimes that breaking of trust might be, we're not supposed to recover together. You know, like we're sometimes, the breaking of trust will expose something like, you're more committed to... uh... Like I see this happen sometimes where people are like in an open relationship, but still do cheating type behaviors. And I'm like, Oh, OK like great. That's good information, right? Like you're still very committed to a certain kind of secrecy. Maybe that's what turns you on is the forbidden. Something along those lines. And that's not compatible, right, with the kind of relationship that I'm trying to build or whatever kind of relationship this person is trying to build. And so I get really excited about stuff like that, because I like then you in a, you know, then it's like we just got clear about it and like we can trust each other to take the step back and transition into some other form of relationship. Versus, I think what happens now which is like, I offered you a false trust that you could never live up to that I was waiting for you to somehow live up to, you broke it and now I don't, I never want to see your face again. Right? Like you let me down so thoroughly, that I just I don't even want you to exist and I'm like I don't think we have enough people for that way of being with each other. Right? That we can just keep being like if you're not perfect, perfectly trustworthy then I kick you out of my community forever. And I say that you know the same thing you said is that you learn some of this from causing harm. And I'm like I learned from breaking people's trust. Right?  Neil Sattin: Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: There are people who I love and care about and I, I broke their trust and I have, I've had to do like a lot of work, a lot of work around like, Am I a trustworthy person? If the answer is No. How would I become a trustworthy person? Right. And again so much of that initial line of inquiry was just like about other people. Like how can I let them know how can I show how can I prove that I'm trustworthy? And of course the answer is I have to be trustworthy. Like I have to be able to feel in myself. And I'll tell you I'll tell you a little example of this.  Neil Sattin: Sure.  adrienne maree brown: I was in the airport like last week and I was running through and a lot had been happening and I went and sat down on a bench and there was this coat next to me and I asked around like, "Hey anybody is this your coat." And everybody was like no, you know whoever this coat is they just left this coat here. There's no bag there's nothing else around it. So I let it sit there for a little while and then I'm like Oh the nice coat. It's a nice coat. And so I picked it up to look at it and it's like a designer coat and it happens to be my size, right? So I'm like, This is a very nice gorgeous designer coat that someone just left here on this bench and like who knows if they're ever going to make it back, right?  Neil Sattin: For you!  adrienne maree brown: But, that, yeah part of my brain was like a gift from the universe! And I was like. And I picked it up and I looked at it and was like that would not be a trustworthy behavior to just take this coat and move on with life. Right. Like there's a chance that that person is still in this airport and that they're like running back here to get their very expensive, nice coat. Right? Or and, right. They'll call Delta. Like do you know where my coat is? Or whatever it is. So I took it over to the, um, you know where they check you in for the plane. I took it over to one of the guys there and I was like this was left over there. They're like, oh my goodness. You know like that's so sweet, you know. And it was just like, I felt the burden lift off my system that I'm like oh I was about to really just take someone's coat. But I didn't. And it is a small thing, like it's a really small thing that like no one would have known if I had done the wrong thing...  Neil Sattin: Except you.  adrienne maree brown: But I would have known. And like trying to get to that place in my life where like I don't make the mistake because it would hurt my integrity and my wholeness and my dignity outside of anyone else's. And even if I know it, that creates a shadow. Like how do I turned to my lover and tell this story? How do I walk into a room where I'm offering people, like let's be trustworthy people, and I'm standing there in a coat that I stole from some poor stranger, right? So to me it's that. It's like is my relationship with myself intact? And then from that place can I be in contact with another person and say, now this is intact? And if it gets harmed I commit to helping us get to intactness and sometimes that looks like a boundary. I keep repeating these words my friend, Prentis Hemphill, made this, made this, had this thought last week and then spread it all over the world basically, but its boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me, simultaneously.  Neil Sattin: Mm hmm. I love that.  adrienne maree brown: And I keep thinking about that that I'm like sometimes... Right? Isn't it beautiful. And sometimes it's like that. It's like sometimes in tactness is at a great distance. It's like we're good as long as you're two thousand miles away from me. We're fine. It's good. Like don't cross that boundary and it's all good.  Neil Sattin: Right.  adrienne maree brown: And so I think about that I'm like, you know that's one of the things I talk about in "Pleasure Activism" is like our "No,"  makes a way for our "Yes." Like the good boundaries are actually so crucial for the good relationships.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. What seems contained too, and what you're offering, is the necessity for healing, like, to recognize like, OK if we're not in right relationship we're all each on a healing journey to getting there.  adrienne maree brown: Yes.  Neil Sattin: It's probably rare, the person who's learned, who's reached their 30s or 40s or more, you know, and hasn't experience some sort of disruption of their integrity.  adrienne maree brown: That's right.  Neil Sattin: So there's the healing component. There's also the compassion component. Like if I, if I expect you to be perfect and you fail me, and then that becomes this huge breach, then that's a much different problem than I'm trusting you. And I'm also wanting you. Like I'm, I'm willing to be okay with where you and I aren't perfect as long as we can be in full disclosure about that together.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah. That's right.  Neil Sattin: That's the honesty piece.  adrienne maree brown: I like that. I like that. I feel like that', you know, because I also think about this. Like for people who are like, "Oh no you know I'm sure they're someone's not me I'm good. You know like I know what you're talking about. I don't lie to myself or whatever." Or like, so often the people who seem to be, who have it all together, who have it altogether. Are are in some ways damaging themselves the most like I feel like now I have stopped doing to myself the harm of trying to pretend I am perfect, right?  Neil Sattin: Yeah.  adrienne maree brown: And I see it. I mean I feel like that you know when people watch Beyonce's Homecoming, right? Like what was intriguing to me is that she was like I was pushing for perfection and it meant having to like learn all the stuff that I would never do this again. It wasn't perfect it was actually too much that I harmed myself. And but, I pulled this off, but I harmed myself and didn't... Like, there's even stuff like that. Right? I'm like, "Yeah, what are you denying of yourself. That's where you're creating a prison, right, for yourself. You're containing that part of you that wants to be alive and free and moving around. And I'll say I'm part of the generative somatics teaching body. And for me, Somatics has been the healing pathway that has opened so much. And there's a really beautiful episode of The Healing Justice podcast, that has a woman named Sumitra on it, as it was that, they basically the Healing Justice podcast, they do an offer and then they do a practice to follow up on that. And so it's a 30 minute practice something less than that but it's basically this, the core practice of Somatics which is just centering learning how to actually drop into your body and feel and center in real time. And the idea is that you don't center to feel calm or better you center to feel more. that if you can feel more...  Neil Sattin: Yeah. To feel what is.  : That if you can feel more, feel what is and feel more of it then you start to have actual agency in real time over the choices you make, over the connections you move towards, over the connections you can start to set real boundaries around, like I can feel when someone is not a good energy to have around me, right. That doesn't mean they don't deserve to have people around them. But it's not going to happen here, right.  Neil Sattin: Right.  adrienne maree brown: I'm gonna move towards those people who are like the right energy for me for, for me growing them. And for them growing me. Yeah. Yeah. So I want to offer that because when it comes to healing, I think it helps to be fairly tangible. Like, there's, there's some you know, I feel like that for me. Like I went to talk therapy for a decade or whateve, right? And I've been able to move so much more through being able to feel, because I feel like talk therapy I was still able to stay in my head and tell my stories and tell my lies. And like you know you know, you can do it if your therapist has to be on to you just move on to the next one like, here's my, here's my story, right, or whatever it is. And I just think there's something so beautiful about dropping in and being like I'm feeling, I'm in a community of people who hold me accountable to being able to feel myself. And even now like I've been touring this book I land in a new city, and I run into someone who's also a Somatic practitioner and they hold me and they're like Are you good? Are you centering? Are you good? How are you feeling? You know and I know that they really care and they want to know. And in that moment I can feel the connection and my aliveness just expand.  Neil Sattin: So important.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: adrienne maree brown thank you so much for your words today for joining us. I know we could talk for easy another hour. You don't have the time, at least not today. Hopefully we can chat again at some point. That would be special.  adrienne maree brown: Yay. Thank you so much for having me on. I really appreciate being a guest on the show and I hope it's of use to people.  Neil Sattin: It is my pleasure and I just want to encourage everyone who's listening to check out all your work but especially your latest book: Pleasure Activism, Emergent Strategy. They're both written with such care and and I really felt them speaking to me and my unfolding and I know it would be a gift to any reader who's here with us. And it feels like a fun footnote that the friend that I met who introduced me to you and your work.  adrienne maree brown: Yeah.  Neil Sattin: We were actually both attending a somatic experiencing workshop with Peter Levine.  adrienne maree brown: Yay. That's awesome! Neil Sattin: So I love how it came back into Somatics here at the end.  adrienne maree brown: Full circle.  Neil Sattin: So far so important to find that truth of who you are and your experience in your body in this moment, and so much aliveness comes from there.  Neil Sattin: Thank you Neil.  adrienne maree brown: adrienne, if people want to find out more about your work, what can they do?  adrienne maree brown: They can go to the website: allied-media-dot-org-slash-ESII. That's where you can get trainings, workshop, stuff like that. And then I'm on Instagram  @adriennemareebrown, and I, that's where I mostly post things into the world.  Neil Sattin: Great. Well we will make sure there are links in all our stuff. And thank you so much for being with us today. And with me.  adrienne maree brown: Thank you. Have a good one.  Neil Sattin: Take care, adrienne.  adrienne maree brown: All right. Peace.  Neil Sattin: Same to you.  Neil Sattin: And just as a reminder if you want a detailed transcript of today's episode, you can get that by visiting Neil-Sattin-dot-com-slash-AMB, adrienne maree brown, or you can text the word passion to the number of 3 3 4 4 4 and follow the instructions. And we will have links to everything that we mentioned here in today's episode as well as to The Healing Justice I think is what adrienne said the The Healing Justice podcast episode that she mentioned, as a gift for you.  Neil Sattin: All right, take care.   

Episode 28 We're getting baby crazy in the quarters. From babies to breeding and birth, we cover it all. Bobber and Mher face off again in another round of What/Where/Who am I? You won't need a DNA test to see who the real winner is; you just need to listen.

本期嘉宾：韩浩月老师韩浩月，时评人，影评人，专栏作家，中文网络知名写手。出版代表作为《世间的陀螺》，以及《I服了YOU——写给大话时代的告别书》，男性话题作品集《男人道》《涩男人》，影评集《一个人的电影院》，随笔集《午睡主义者》、《一个人的森林》等十余种。第一、二届华语电影优质大奖评委。上海电影节电影频道传媒大奖评委。为《中国青年报》、《新京报》、《京华时报》、《深圳商报》等多家媒体撰写文娱评论。另外，我将会在评论中挑选出两条优质的评论，送上韩浩月老师签名版的《世间的陀螺》！

Hi guys! After reading this we hope you will understand how to meditate in the most simple way possible to reduce stress and anxiety within 20 minutes. Let’s start by giving you a few of the reasons why we both began to meditate:   It helps us to improve our self awareness. Meditation helps us to become aware of the relationship we have with ourselves. By this we mean that we are becoming more aware of our subconscious and automatic thoughts, reactions and behaviours. Reduces stress and anxiety. Improves our ability focus for longer periods of time. Reach a state of calm for more productivity and clarity. Feel happier and less reactive in life in general.   Here’s how you can start meditating right now, we call this one the Foundational Meditation Technique:   Find a place by yourself, sitting or lying down, no distractions, try not to fall asleep. Focus on your breath as it travels in and out of the lungs. You can either listen to the sound of your inhale and exhale or feel the breath on your top lip. Simply focus your thoughts on these things. The purpose of meditation is to focus on one thing. In this case that thing is our breath. So start by closing your eyes and thinking about your breath. Now, here’s the secret.We had it wrong because we gave up when our mind wandered. Here is the process that we currently follow and understand to be true, we ask you to plant step 5 in your mind as you meditate:    Close eyes focus on your breath. You will eventually become distracted and your mind wanders. It doesn’t matter how long your mind wanders for. 1 minute, 10, 30 or 2 hours. You become aware that your mind has wandered. You give up and slap yourself. OR: Bring your attention back to your ‘one thing,’ in this case this is our breath. When you bring your attention back this is a bicep curl for your brain. If we give up at this point then our brain exercise is incomplete.    So now that we know how to perform a bicep curl for our brain, we simply repeat this process for 20 minutes every day. Consistency is key with meditation. Focus on our breath, become aware that our mind has wandered, bring our attention back to our breath. The repetition of this process will shorten the time it takes for you to become aware that your mind has wandered. So 30 minutes of riding the thought train will become 10 minutes. And over time you’ll be able to become aware of your wandering mind very quickly.   Now let’s put this into context and jump into your future. You’ve been meditating for 1 month and now you become aware of your wandering thoughts within one second. So your mind wanders, you catch it, then you reel it back in and think about your breath. All of this happens for you in less than one second.Imagine now that you’re talking to a friend, your friend has personal issues and is unjustifiably blaming you for an accident. As your friend is talking at you with negativity you begin to feel guilty… then after 15 seconds you feel angry and you feel like you’re about to react vocally.But because of your month long meditation practice you become aware of this feeling of arising anger, just as you would become aware of your mind wandering during meditation. At this point you think yourself “If I’m not the one being angry, then who am I?” You are now the observer. You have now created space between stimulus (your friend) and reaction (your anger). In this space, as you’re no longer being angry, you can think about the other potential responses and decide on the best one. Is anger really the best response? Is it really necessary?  When you learn to quickly observe your own thoughts and emotions without reacting you are learning to become self aware. Ie you’re becoming aware of your automatic reactions rather than being in your automatic reactions. To be self aware is to be aware of your automatic unconscious thoughts, reactions and behaviours.   We like to use the following analogy. Imagine yourself on the beach, on a lounge chair, relaxing. There --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/adviceisnice/message

ThePorch2 - " I Run Your Life," Who Am I? Neighbors, I am created by your actions, attitude(s) and philosophy. I make you or break you. One of us will serve the other of us. Use me correctly to be successful and significant. Use of me incorrectly will cause you to be unsuccessful and insignificant. After tonight's ThePorch2 podcast episode premiering on Storm Talk 365 Radio, you will be able to answer the question to this riddle of " I Run Your Life" who am I? You can listen to our episodes on Sundays at 6 pm EST.on Storm Talk 365 Radio via your favorite hosting platforms: Spreaker.com, Spotify, Itunes, IHeart Radio, & more. * Your host MsMyra Smith Frye can be contacted via email at myrasfrye@gmail.com Subject: ThePorch2 * We impress upon you to continue being a part of the necessary conversations by submitting your comments and inquiries (PorchTalk2). Your voice is such a needed element to promote the Attitude Transformations that are necessary to yield results in the mission #2UpLiftAll. * We look forward to you being a part of our next live-interactive I Am Special Inspirational Teleconference calls. * We invite you to stay connected to us by joining our Facebook Group: ThePorch2 or Storm Talk 365 Radio fan page* and By becoming a Neighbor2Neighbor Guest here on ThePorch2 Podcast or ThePorch Teleconference Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Storm Talk 365 Radio, any of the affiliates or concerned parties represented by the network. All information, content, and music provided solely for general information, reference and entertainment purposes only. No copyrights infringements implied. **We Do Not Own The Rights To Any Music. Or The Contents of This Podcast. Used For Entertainment Purposes Only** www.stormtalk365radio.com https://www.facebook.com/stormtalk365msb/

What You'll Hear: Ron grew up very poor.  His parents were aged 14 and 15 when they got married Their landlord Mr. Countryman, farmer, invited his Mom to church, she said no but then he offered to take her kids to church He took Ron to church and paid for him to go to camp and gave him a shirt for Ron's baptism Someone brought a Chiquita Banana box to Ron's home with Christmas dinner including a can of mandarin oranges The can has been a symbol to him of the cost of a lack of education Ron runs a company called Southwest Michigan First, which helps people get jobs and get trained They have a company that puts on a conference annually called Catalyst University with 3000 people They have a company called Consulting Connect which is the largest economic development consulting firm in the country For most companies, 30% of employees are engaged, 50% are neutral, and 20% are disengaged.  At Ron's company, they have a 95% engagement rate and they've been voted one of the best places to work, partly due to their organizational axioms They encourage their employees to be a CEO of their own responsibilities They have everyone on their team (30) interview candidates to make sure they're the right fit Everyone has individual goals, small team goals, and corporate goals They meet with a mentor every 40 days Their employees are ultra accountable but also have ultra freedom to accomplish their goals There's just no enjoyment in over-managing people and if you hire the right people you don't have to Another axiom is Family First. Ron leaves loudly by leaving at 2pm to work out at the gym. They don't hide that they're going to a family event but rather they celebrate it It makes participating in their family the norm If you're in a negative working environment, get out if you can Bring everyone on the team in for a book club to change the culture Humility was demonstrated by Christ, who chose to speak to others because He was the expert, but He spoke about His Father, not Himself There's a difference between carrying the mission for the organization and self-promotion Great leaders talk about "we" not about "I" You were created by God to be great, but you didn't do anything to earn that, so bragging about that is damaging to God's gift and your ability to serve others Ron's 70/20/10 formula helps him to have joy.  70% of his activities are things that are high energy and have a big impact.  20% are things he doesn't like but have to be done.  10% are things he enjoys. The key to work life balance is to know what you want and what it takes to get there, and to take care of yourself Living out your Christian faith through your work is to make your faith the center of your behaviors We live a faith whose basic tenet is love and respect Ron's favorite scripture is Nehemiah 6:3 Ron recommends the Skim Podcast, Andy Stanley, and John Maxwell and audio books Go to www.RonKitchens.com

Bryan Saylor, Young Adults Pastor at Calvary Chapel, Melbourne, FL, talks about the problem of comparison, what happens when you begin to evaluate what God is doing in your ministry by comparing it to what God is doing in someone else’s ministry. This can be a result of insecurity or of pride. Someone else’s ministry looks better, so you feel bad. Or someone else’s ministry looks less than, so you are filled with pride. Either is dangerous because it distracts us from what God has called us to do in ministry. Bryan shares three important questions God asks us, questions that will help us identify the root of comparison and eliminate it from our lives. “When it comes to comparison, my prayer is that we would preach the gospel to ourselves and remind ourselves of the glorious riches that we actually have in Christ.” QUOTES:  “Comparison is one of the greatest things that can derail us or distract us from the mission God has given us.” -Bryan Saylor “Comparison can be insecurity, but it can also be pride. Either way you look at it, it is dangerous.” Bryan Saylor “These questions are gut punchers—they are difficult to hear. But as we wrestle with them, we discover the true heart of God and the fact that God wants us to move closer into trusting Him.” Bryan Saylor One Piece of Advice | Who Am I? AJ Pierre, Lead Pastor at Empower Hope in West Palm Beach, FL shares his one piece of advice: Ask yourself this simple question—who am I? You have to deal with this issue in your life. God has created you for a specific purpose at this exact time. Figure this one thing out and reconnect to what God uniquely created you to do. QUOTES: “This is a question I believe we all have to eventually answer in our lives—who am I?” -AJ Pierre “You have been created by God for this exact time for a specific purpose to accomplish a specific task. For that to happen, you have to be authentic. You have to be exactly who you’ve been called to be.” -AJ Pierre “There are people out there whose ears are tuned to your voice. The only way to reach them is if you are functioning in who God has truly called you to be.” -AJ Pierre Links:  Contact Daniel: daniel@eeleaders.com Leadership Lessons/One Piece of Advice/Blog/Recommended Books: eeleaders.com

First interview of a 5-part series for the general public and spiritual seeker addressing questions such as: Who am I? What is consciousness? How do I find Spiritual meaning in everyday experiences of the material world, even tragedies? What about fate and intention? Sample: What am I? You are what you make of yourself; a mixture of a lower and a higher self. Light which we call soul, activates all the multifarious layers of consciousness. We try to balance and fulfill a hierarchy of needs until we reach our inner joy. It is not the thing, but the meaning that you are after-we are in an impermanent world seeking the boundless and permanent.

Welcome to the 22nd episode of Motivational Hits 2019, this podcast is all about playing one motivational song everyday. The songs I will play mean something to me and I want to try use music to motivate more people. Today's band is called Ivan B and the song name is Don't Look Down Enjoy https://play.google.com/music/m/Tmybyk5nft6dnjq7w7oxtk2h2hi?t=Dont_Look_Down_-_Ivan_B https://open.spotify.com/track/6bseSQN9rkRYFkkL9xaRoj?si=xqhjrxTHSuGSDF8TArAW7Q Find me on Social Media: Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram LinkedIn Steemit Dtube Here is the lyrics to the song: "Don't Look Down" I'm scared I'm wasting my time Scared I'm losing control of my life I'm scared of commitment of calling anything mine I would be lying if I told you, "I'm fine" Serving these tables to put some food in my stomach I'm tired of seeing my mom and say "Don't worry, it's coming" My heart is racing, I'm running to anything more than nothing Drowning in debt and I'm trying to pull us above it Tell me everything will be okay Tell me why does everybody got to fade away Am I crossing your mind? 'Cause you been all up in mine But if I saw you, I don't know what I would say Instead of being together, I need to get it together Instead of writing these letters, I want to live to remember Am I better from the past? Yeah, I wonder what I'll know Haunted by a dream is when you really let it go I guess things happen for a reason But I'ma never leave anything at chance At first glance I'm looking for God's hands The Devil's looking at me like, "Homie, come dance" My grandma's getting sicker, I'm never there when I can be See, my brother feeling lost, I guess it runs in the family People telling me this music should be a plan B How could you judge me if you don't understand me? No breaks, one-twenty goin' in Destiny's calling, I'm like, "Baby, come on in" Right now it feels like do-or-die, everyday it's, "Who am I?" You call it nine-to-five, man, I call it suicide I see what they can't see, this is all that I can be Rather be homeless and broke than be labeled as "happy" They don't understand me, 'cause no one can stand me It's always the outsiders who end up outstanding I lost a hundred dollars on a bet It's not a lot of money, but it said a lot about me In the moment, guess I didn't understand it When nothing is certain, don't ever take it for granted Pride is a poison that infested our planet Greed is okay, well, that's the way that they brand it Our view of everything is such a mess Having less than we deserve is our perception of happiness What am I supposed to do? They say, "Follow the steps, stick to the guidelines" If I listen to that, I'm just a kid on the sideline What's in your eyes? I don't care 'bout your eyeline Never cared about all of that Money got people snappin' for their quarter back If I get it, I'ma give it back I feel like happiness is something everybody should have But we are who we are I've been lost in the dark, while I've been shooting for stars Looking for love, like is it really that hard? Or just have someone who's there when it's all falling apart But every scar only makes your heart stronger Hold on, just fight a little longer

The Guide to True HappinessMOSHE RABEINU REPORTING THE WEATHER?!When we read thepesukimthat describe the departure of theAm YisroelfromMitzrayimwe note the interesting fact that the time of the year, the spring-like weather, plays a quite significant role in the story. As they gathered to leaveMitzrayim, Moshe Rabeinu spoke to the people זכור את היום הזה אשר יצאתם ממצרים… היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – “Remember always this day that you came out of Egypt…Today you are leavingin the month of spring” (Bo 13:4). Now, you know that in the Torah weather is a subject that is not discussed. This subject that becomes so important when you’re standing on the street talking to someone – when you meet the elevator man or the grocery man, that’s the first subject in America – but in the Torah it’s not discussed. And yet, all of a sudden, Moshe Rabeinu comes along and points out to us that it was a spring day.Now it’s quite strange that Moshe Rabeinu should make a big deal about it. There were many things he could have told theAm Yisroelas they gathered together to begin their journey towards freedom. I myself could think of some very importantyesodosthat Moshe Rabeinu could have given over at this most opportune time. But to point out the weather conditions?! He wasn’t a meteorologist. And if it was cold and rainy, would it have made a difference?! They were going out to freedom! Ask the man who is released from prison after fifty years if he cares about the temperature on the day he left; he doesn’t remember and he doesn’t even care to remember! He’s free at last!PERFECT WEATHER FOR FREEDOMAnd yet Moshe Rabeinudidsay היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – You’re leaving today, and look outside; it’s a beautiful spring day. And Rashi asks: “Didn’t they know it was spring? אלא כך אמר להם, ראו חסד שגמלכם – So what was Moshe Rabeinu telling them? “Pay attention to the kindness that Hashem is bestowing upon you, שהוציא אתכם בחודש שהוא כשר לצאת – That He took you out in a month that is fitting for departure, לא חמה ולא צנה ולא גשמים – It’s not too hot, not too cold, and not raining” (Rashi 13:4). וכןהוא אומר מוציא אסירים בכושרות – Hashem took out His prisoners when it was fitting, חודש שהוא כשר לצאת – during the month in which it is most fitting to depart” (Mechilta).Now we should also take a peek intoShir Hashirim, at Shlomo Hamelech’s description of Hashem speaking to His people on that great day ofYetzias Mitzrayim. קומי לך רעיתי יפתי ולכי לך – “Arise, My love, My beautiful one, and go forth from Mitzrayim, כי הנה הסתיו עבר הגשם חלף הלך לו – Because now the winter has passed, and the rains are gone, and the traveling through the wilderness will be much more pleasant, הנצנים נראו בארץ – The days of spring are here when the trees begin to produce their flowers and those who travel, delight in their colors and fragrances, עת הזמיר הגיע וקול התור נשמע בארצנו – The time of birds singing and chirping has arrived, which adds the additional joy of sweet sounds for those who travel in the spring, קומי לך רעיתי יפתי ולכי לך – And so My beautiful beloved,” says Hashem to the Am Yisroel, “now is the timeto arise and leave Mitzrayim” (Shir Hashirim 2:11-13al pi Rashi).SCHEDULING FOR THE CHIRPING BIRDSSo we see that Hashem made a point of bringing out theAm YisroelfromMitzrayimdavkathen, during the days of spring. And even more so, the Torah tells us that the entire scheduling of the year is dependent on the Yom Tov of Pesach falling out during the spring to commemorate this event: שמור את חודש האביב…כי בחודש האביב הוציאך השם אלוקיך ממצרים – “You must guard the month of spring…for it was in the month of springtime that Hashem your G-d took you out of Egypt” (Devarim 16:1). And what does “Guard the month of spring” mean? Chazal tell us (Rosh Hashanah 21a) that the month ofNissanmust always fall out in the spring, and that sometimes theSanhedrinmust even add a month to the calendar just to ensure thatNissanshould not fall out when it’s still winter. And all this, so that theYom TovofPesachshould fall out in the beautiful days of spring, because היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב, and we want to remember and to commemorate that we leftMitzrayimin the spring.And that’s a very big question. Because what difference does the spring make for a nation that is escaping two hundred and ten years of bondage? The month ofchodeshha’aviv, the ripening of the grain would certainly be a joyous time once they would enter Eretz Yisroel, but here, as they were departing fromRameses, they were far from the promised land and had no benefit at all from the ripening of the grain.What difference is it to such a people, escaping slavery, loaded down with riches, that birds are chirping in the branches? So what that the flowers are blooming on a beautiful spring day? We’re talking here about real happiness – the excitement of escaping to freedom and great wealth, and you’re talking about chirping birds?!This isn’tmyquestion by the way. I heard this said over in the name of theAlter of Skabodkawhen I was in Europe. And because theAlter’sanswer is a foundation for how we are supposed to live successfully in this world, so we’ll spend some time understanding his words.THE ALTER’S CHIDDUSHTheAltersaid that the spring weather, with all of its varied pleasures was chosen purposefully by Hashem to enhance the occasion ofYetzias Mitzrayim. Even in the mountain-heap joy of liberation, and even though they were loaded down with the wealth of Mitzrayim, they were expected tonot overlookthe weather, and not to overlook the budding trees and the chirping birds.And why not? Because it was so important for theAm Yisroelto learn – right now, when they were leaving the bondage ofMitzrayimto becomeavdei Hashem– that the happiness of a true servant of Hashem won’t come from the great events of life. The great jolts of good fortune, the ecstatic moments of great happiness – a new car, a new baby, even if it’sYetzias Mitzrayim– that won’t make a person truly happy. It’s only the small gifts of life like a balmy spring day and a bird chirping in the trees that are the true happiness of life.What we’re learning from the words, “Today you are going out, in the month ofspring,” is that the joy of life isnotthe big things in life. Of course there is time for that too. It’s a bigsimchawhen you have a child. And it’s even a biggersimchawhen you marry that child off. You won the lottery? It’s asimcha! You got the job you wanted? You finished amesichta? These are all bigsimchosthat are a good reason to rejoice.But those aren’t the things that will make you a happy person!The happiness of transient events – evenYetzias Mitzrayimonly happened once – always slip out of your hands sooner or later, and you’re left with the day to day simple pleasures of life, like a spring day, that Hashem isalwaysbestowing on you. And it’s all of those small things that are supposed to make you a happy person.ROSY GLASSES ARE NOTHINGNow you can’t just tell a man, “Be happy; Learn to see the the good things in life.” It’s like saying nothing at all to him. This subject of happiness is a science, and like any important subject, its study takes effort on your part. If you’ll say to someone, “Just put on optimistic spectacles, and look at the world through rosy eyeglasses,” you’re not helping him a bit.There’s work to be done besides for putting on the rosy colored spectacles. What work is that? Every form of happiness is an obligation upon you to appreciate and become even more of a happy person. A person becomes a happy person because of the small things in life. Now don’t say that your experience contradicts this – because it’s not true, youdon’thave the experience. You never tried it! It’s necessary to dedicate your lives to the study of all the details of happinesses that you have in your life, in order to become the happy servant of Hashem that He expects.HOW TO GET RICHAnd so we’ll begin our career of happiness by reading together the words of amishnah; it’s amishnahthat most of us say, but none of us fulfill.איזהו עשיר- Who is a wealthy man? השמח בחלקו – Someone who is happy with what he has. Now, everybodyknowsthat, everybody says it; but nobodypracticesit.Themishnahis telling us here what Hakodosh Boruch Hu expects from us; that weshouldpractice it and that we should fulfill it. Hashem wants thatwe should become wealthy. Otherwise why did He tell us that. Why did He say איזהו עשיר? If it’s not important, why tell us? Just as a fact, some more information to know? No; it’s because that’s what you’re expected to become. Hashem wants thatyoushould become thatashirwho issameach b’chelko!BEING SATISFIED IS NOT ENOUGHNow, it’s important to point out thatsamei’achdoesn’t mean that you’resatisfiedwith what you have; it means thatyou’re happy, that you’refull of joy.Hashem wants you toenjoyOlam Hazeh, to be a person overflowing with happiness, and it’s an art that you have to get busy learning. Before we begin, the first thing is that you must get out of your head any thoughts thatprishusmeans to be unhappy. No;prishusmeans to be happywithout luxuries, to behappywith all the multitude of pleasures of living life itself. And that’s who Hashem says is the wealthy man.So איזהו עשיר – Who is the rich man? השמח בחלקו – the one who trains himself little by little to behappywith all of the things that he already has, the things that are available to him all the time. And who is the poor person, the perpetually sad man? The man who is empty; he never learned anything about the happiness of life. All he learned was to want more and more; “gimmee” and “gimmee” and “gimmee” – he wants more and more. And therefore his whole life is nothing but a pursuit after what he doesn’t have. And because of that, he fails to enjoychelko, what his portion is right now.All through life you’re missing the fun of life. Because wherever you turn in life, wherever you look, you’re going to encounter with your eyes on all sides, reasons to sing and dance with joy – if you know how to usethe details of lifeto become happy. We just have to open our eyes and apply our minds, and be willing to put effort into finding the real happiness of life. If we do that, the happiness within us would well forth and life would become full of fun. It would be endless fun and happiness without the new car, and without the trip to the zoo or the amusement park. It would be all the details of life itself that make you a happy person.STUDY A VARIETY OF SUBJECTSBecause the joy of life is not the big things; and it’s not one small thing either. Because what doeschelkomean?Chelkomeans your portion in life. And life is not one thing – life is a combination, a sum total of tens of thousands of phenomena – and it’s necessary to makeeachphenomenon a separate study so that whenever you encounter that phenomenon it will cause you happiness. If you study how two things make you happy, so now you’ll have two things that cause you happiness. If you’ve studied fifty things, so fifty things will cause you happiness. The more subjects you study, the more phenomena you appreciate, the more happiness you will get out of life. Like Dovid Hamelech said: כי שמחתני השם בפעליך במעשה ידיך ארנן – “I sing at the deeds of Your hand” (Tehillim 92:5) And the only way to do that is to put your mind to what you have, and all these things add up to being a wealthy man. Hashem wants you to be wealthy; if you don’t learn this, Hashem is disappointed in you.I’ll give you an example. If you study, let’s say, the wind. Let’s say a man would learn to enjoy the wind. Now, it may seem silly to you, but that’s because you’ve never studied the subject of happiness correctly. Because really, wind is a subject that can make you endlessly grateful and happy. There’s a lot of fun in a wind. But you have to study it.LET’S STUDY WINDStudy the winds?! Now, go tell that to people outside, they’ll laugh at you. But it’s agemara. Thegemaratells inMesichtaGittin(31b) that achochomwas once walking and he saw two sages who were sitting engaged in study. So he said to them, במאי עסקיתו – “What sugya are you learning now?” So they said, ברוחות – “We’re talking about winds.” Two sages of theTalmudare sitting talking about winds! That’s whatweshould do too. Maybe we should sit down sometime and talk about winds.Now, some people, eventalmideichachomim, didn’t learn the correctpshatin thisgemara. “Why would they talk about winds,” somemefarshimthought. So they developed other interpretations of this gemara, whatruchosmeans. But that’s not thepshat. Thegemarais telling us that they sat down to discuss wind! Because the study of the wind is a study of איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו.If the wind didn’t blow we couldn’t live. אי אפשר לעולם בלא רוחות – “The world could not exist without winds” (Taanis 3b). Nothing would grow without the wind; you wouldn’t have a piece of bread if not for wind. You didn’t know that? Well, you should start knowing it right now.If not for the wind there would be no food, because the winds keep the air moving so that the minute proportion of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, three parts in ten thousand, is made available to plants. Otherwise the plant would use up all the surrounding carbon dioxide and would die. So when it’s windy, and you have to hold on to your hat, that should be a cause for happiness. That’s your “watermelon” blowing by; your “bread” and your “meat”. It’s refreshing, invigorating and it’s also the key to life itself.A CONTRIBUTION TO YOUR CAREERIf the winds would be discussed and studied properly, so the next time there would be a zephyr, or a blow, or a hurricane, a breeze – whatever form it would come in – it’s going to cause us happiness. Now I’m not saying that we’ll go wild with happiness – it’s only one phenomenon, one detail; but it will make you happy, no question about it. And winds are blowing all the time, and they don’t cost much money either. So learn to enjoy it! It might take some time; it takes work. But after a while, after you begin studying the phenomena of wind, and appreciating it, so wind becomes a stimulus for happiness. So a person is walking in the street, and a slight breeze is tickling him – it’s refreshing and it also arouses in his mind all those pleasurable thoughts; so that’s one contribution to a career of happiness.Now, a breeze is only one thing. But this world is a gift of many happinesses for us. The trees and the flowers, the clouds and the rain. The blue sky, the sun and the moon, the soil and the leaves. Our hands and our eyes, our feet and our shoes. And you have thousands and thousands of other things. Hashem is giving you plenty of air and plenty of water. You have clothing and food. You have garments. You have a roof over your head, a place to sleep. You have a home. A home?! You can lock the door and sleep at night. Not like the homeless people who have to sleep near the railroad tracks and other dangerous places.Life is a veritable wellspring of happiness.But all this is justdevarim b’almah, it’s just words. You can’t just be a happy person because of “everything.” Everything is nothing. The path to true happiness is in the details. People have to teach themselves one thing at a time. Now wind is only one example of the happiness of this world. To learn the happiness of life you have to study all the details, moving from one subject to the other. One after the other, after another. And when you add together the sum total of many small phenomena, then they add up to a true happiness in life.BECOMING WEALTHIER AND WEALTHIERIf we would do this, we would actually learn together how to enjoy the phenomena of the world and become happy people all the time. And as life progresses we’d be adding new ideas into the treasure chest of our minds that cause us happiness. We’re adding riches into our mind and at the same time we’d review the old ones more deeply. Every day you can become happier and happier with the simple details of life, and slowly, little by little, you add one more thing and one more thing, and you become anashir, you become wealthy. And we’d find that from all sides we’re bursting out with song. You’d walk down the Brooklyn streetmeshugahwith happiness.And once you achieve this wealth, so you’ll never be unhappy again. You can’t be unhappy if your life is filled with thousands of small happinesses all day long. Because no matter what happens you feel you still have air to breathe. Air all you want. And water to drink, all you want. You still have a roof over your head. You still have shoes to wear. You have sunshine and teeth. And that’s only the beginning of the list.And once you become a happy person you’ll be able to withstand all thenisyonos, the trials of life. Life is not easy; there are always ups and downs. And if you don’t achieve this wealth ofsamei’ach b’chelko,so no matter what you can purchase and no matter how many cars you have, you will be a fundamentally unhappy person, because you never learned what real happiness is. But once you achieve the wealth ofsamei’achb’chelko, then no matter what, you’re a happy person for the rest of your life.THE MAIN PORTION IS … LIFE!And therefore, the first thing we must do is to clarify what it is that we’re supposed to be happy about; what doeschelkomean? Now, what is the first aspect ofchelkothat all of us sitting here now have? “Your portion,” means first of all thatyou’re alive!You never thought about thatpshat, did you? You were thinking that it means that when you finally make five hundred thousand dollars, so then you’ll be happy, you’ll besamei’achb’chelko, even though you don’t have two million dollars yet. No, that’s not whatchelkomeans. If you’re still alive that’s already your portion that you’re expected to be full of joy about.Because there is no happiness like being alive!The happiness of being alive is an intense experience, only that we’re so accustomed to it that we ignore it. Let’s say a person would enjoy the fact that he is alive. Oh yes! How lucky you are that you’re alive. Don’t say it’s nothing. It’s everything! A millionaire would give up all of his property to stay alive. You’re alive!And there are plenty of people you know, some of them even your age, who are not alive anymore. I myself look back, when I was a boy. Some of mychaveirimpassed away early. There was a fourteen year old friend of mine – he passed away. A twenty year old friend of mine passed away when I was in the yeshiva.WALKING ON CLOUDS!You know what fun it is to be alive! And there’s a simple way to discover it. Here’s a man who’s going to a specialist because his physician found something. And he’s afraid he has something terrible. So the specialist gives him a complete series of tests; blood tests and scans and everything else, and then he has to go home for a few days and wait for an answer. For those few days the man can think of nothing else except for the phone call he’s expecting from the doctor. What is anything worth if he won’t be able to live?! And finally the doctor calls him into his office and sits him down and tells him, “I’m sorry to tell you there’snothingwrong with you!”Now, when this man walks out of the doctor’s office he’s stepping on clouds. He’s walking through Brooklyn and he’s the happiest man in the whole city. Because now he’s enjoying the sweetness of life. How sweet it is to be alive! The happiness of walking a Brooklyn street knowing that you’re alive is unequaled in all the pleasures of the wealthy.THE QUICK LANDINGOnly that what happens? He walks on clouds from here to Avenue P(two blocks away from the shul)and then he’s back on the ground again. He’s walking on the sidewalk again because he forgets. And that’s a tragedy because the happiness merely of being alive is a tremendous happiness that can keep you walking on clouds all day long.If only people would bestir themselves and say, “Why should I let this treasure go lost?! Why should I wait until the day comes when I’m a hundred and nineteen years old, and I’m laying in a home for the aged, and I’m looking through the window at the people walking the streets outside. I see how beautiful life is, and I’m thinking, ‘That was once me. I never realized how much fun being alive and walking the streets could be. And now I only have one or two days left.’” You know that when a man is lying in the hospital and he knows that his days are numbered, he says “If I could get on the street again. I could once more walk around, once more. What a happiness it would be!” He’s jealous when he looks down from the hospital window and sees people walking in the streetand living, and for him, soon it will be all over.Of course if you have it every day after a while your mind becomes stultified. If you haven’t studied it then you don’t even appreciate it anymore. Like I told you earlier, it’s a science; you need to create a program for happiness. It won’t come merely because you came here to the lecture and listened to me. Because if you don’t get busy making yourself happy, all this talk here is a waste.YOU’RE AN OUTSIDER!You have to learn how to besamei’achin yourcheilekof being alive. And so when you pass a funeral parlor – on Coney Island Avenue there are a number of funeral parlors – as you pass by one you say, “Boruch Hashem I’m on the outside!” I’m not joking; I’m very serious now. And when you pass the next one, “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside.” There are three of them there. So by the third one also, “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside.” Say it with your mouth again, and again and again. To be outside of the funeral parlor is asimcha. Inside it’s a funeral home. A “home,” you might think that it’s comfortable, and there’s music for themeisim, and they serve lunch for themeisim. He’s in a box and that’s all. And you’re outside! “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside!”Now, being alive is a happinessad ein sof, no question about it. But you have to expand on that happiness, because there is much more than life itself. Because not only are you alive but you have functioning kidneys. I know a man who has no kidneys – it’s already years and years that he’s on the waiting list to get a kidney. Three times a week he has to go to the clinic for special treatments instead of a kidney. It takes hours and hours each time, and it’s expensive. But he’s happy to be alive; he’s happy to have a machine that keeps him alive. Because he knows that it’s ata’anugto be alive. And if he could just get one kidney, how happy he’d be.He wishes he could be you! He’d be delirious with joy!THE TRANSPLANT MANAnd here’s a man who finally was able to get a new kidney. He has one that he “borrowed” from his sister who was kind enough to give him one of her kidneys. So now he’s a “transplant man.” You think it’s so simple? This man cannot take certain medicines because they might upset his anti-rejection system. He takes a regimen of medicines to suppress the immunosuppressive reaction in him that would reject the new kidney. After all, the kidney is not his – it’s foreign matter inside his body. So the tendency of the body is to reject it. And so he’s always taking medicines to suppress the rejection apparatus.And there are some medicines that are sometimes vital to a person – maybe he gets an infection and he needs antibiotics – but now this man cannot take them because they would interfere with his anti-rejection medications. So this person may become subject to infections that he cannot combat because he can’t take medicines. And so all his life he is living precariously with his one kidney.THE CRAZY KIDNEY MANNow, how does this man look at the same world that you look at? If he sees somebody who is glum and downcast, you know what he thinks? He’s thinking, “That man is crazy! He has something to be sad about?! He has hisownkidney!” A kidney is a great happiness! A natural one that fits in exactly where it’s supposed to be! It’s suited to everything in his body. All the cells in his body have an especial peculiar individual makeup, and they accept his kidney. While the kidney that this poor fellow has, is being rejected by all the cells in his body. And he is constantly in fear that maybe somedaychas v’shalomthe cells in his body will win the fight – it’s a tug of war after all. And when this man sees you on the street he doesn’t understand how you cannot be ecstatic – not only do you have your own kidney, but you have two of them. You’re not only a millionaire, you’re a multi-millionaire!Now I’ll say it again because you have to get it into your heads. Hearing this is not going to make you happy – you have to get to work. So when you go to the bathroom and your kidneys are working perfectly, your bladder is functioning to perfection, you were successful in your “mission.” Are you thinking about it and becoming a happy person? You make anasher yatzar, but while you’re making thebrachahyou’re making motions to somebody in the house, “Wait, wait; I’ll be done in a second.” That’s the way to makeasher yatzar?! A man without kidneys; if he could makeasheryatzar, what a happiness it would be!HEALTHY BEGGAR OR SICK RICH MAN?You have to bestir the happiness in your mind – at least when you’re making thebrachah. And actually, even that is not enough. All day long you should be thinking about your kidneys. Of course, all day long you can’t do, but during the day when you’re walking the street, take a minute to feel like your walking on clouds because you have functioning kidneys. And don’t say it’s impossible to live that way. It’s possible. You have to just get busy doing it. It’s hard work. You do it one day and then the next day you have to do it even more. You pass by a dialysis clinic, stop for a half minute – a half minute on the clock – and thank Hashem for the joy of having a kidney. And if you do it, if you become happy with your kidney, so now you’re a millionaire. And if you’re ecstatic because you have two kidneys, so you’re a multi-millionaire.So now you’re a multi-millionaire. But that’s only the beginning. I know a man who had to have an operation and he can no longer eliminate by means of his anus. He now has a bag attached to his side. You have to realize that this man walks the streets envying everyone who has a rectum in the right place. If he could restore that natural function, that his orifice should be where it’s supposed to be, that man would give away all his earthly possessions. There’s no question that he would prefer being a beggar with a rectum to be being a millionaire with a bag on his side.THE SILLINESS OF MANKINDAnd now we see how silly all of mankind is if they don’t sing because of what they possess. And not only when you use that orifice, when you move your bowels, but all day. Frequently, as you walk down the street, you should bestir this happiness in your mind – how lucky you are; how convenient it is; how comfortable it is; how wealthy you are. It’s a joy to have the function of natural elimination and it’s a cause for actual tangible pleasure and for singing. A man who has sense, Torah sense, actuallyrejoicesin his ability to eliminate.Now the more you learn how to be happy from all these things, so it grows on you, it becomes part of your personality. Little by little it grows upon your mind an attitude of optimism, and you become a happy personality. “I’m so happy to be alive, to be on this side of the cemetery gate.” That’s what you should think about when you walk for the street. “And not only am I alive, but I have kidneys!” Now, that’s a wealth! “And not only kidneys, but I don’t need a bag on my side! I’m normal!” It’s a great happiness to be normal!THE DELICIOUS COCKTAILSo now we begin to see that it’s important for us to dwell on details. You have to take one thing at a time; maybe one week you’ll work let’s say on enjoying air. Getting the pleasure of breathing. The truth is that when you walk outside tonight, you should take a deep breath. “Ahhh!” you should say.” It’s really ata’anug.”No cocktail that you could buy in the store compares to the cocktail of fresh air. People walk in the street today and they drink in the street to show off they’re drinking. That’smeshugas.What do you need it for?! Drink in the fresh air. It’s free of charge and it’s much healthier. Fill your lungs. It makes your blood become red immediately, the fresh air.Get into the habit – one week learn to praise Hashem for air. This week whenever you can, think about the happiness of being able to breathe fresh air. After a while you’re happy when you think about the air. Breathing is fun! I once told you about a simple experiment, didn’t I? Dip your head in a bucket of waterthreetimes and take it outtwice! Anyhow, then wait till you can’t anymore, and finally you’ll take it out this time and you’ll take one deep breath – “Ahh, is that delicious!” The truth is that it’s always delicious. Breathing is delicious!So let’s say you’re walking to thebeis haknessesand you tell yourself, “Isn’t it a wonderful thing that there is air to breathe?!” Now at first it’s achiddush gadol. Air?! I’m afraid that even if you tell it totalmidei chachomimit’s a big chiddush. You tell him, “Yes, air is vital. I’ll prove to you that it’s what you need more than anything else. You can get along without food for days and days. Without water, for a shorter time, but you can get along without water too – for a few days maybe. But without air you can’t get along.”“HALF HALLEL” IS NOT ENOUGHIt says in the Medrash on the possuk כל הנשמה תהלל י-ה, that על כל נשימה ונשימה תהלל י-ה, for every breath you have to say Hallel. And myrebbisaid it meansgantzHallel. For every breath you owe Hashema full hallel. Now, you don’t have time for that – you’re too busy breathing – but at least you have to know thatthat’s how delicious it is!When a person is a little bit dejected, discouraged, what a good idea it is to go to the window and breathe deeply. We don’t realize. It’s like a drink of very strong medicine. Air comes into your lungs and the oxygen unites with your blood and makes your blood more red. It’s a fact. As you breathe, your blood becomes more invigorated with oxygen. The iron in your blood that makes it red, the hemoglobin, unites with the oxygen, and it carries the oxygen on its path through all the blood vessels everywhere in the body to invigorate all the cells. The whole body is different because you breathe. And therefore it’s a good idea to practice breathing just for the feel of it, just to appreciate that great gift of air.200 MILES OF CHESSEDThe world is full of air. That’s what it means מלוא כל הארץ כבודו. So a man will tell you, “K’vodo? That means the “glory of Hashem.’ Where does air come into it?” What do you think is “the glory of Hashem”? The glory of Hashem is Hischessed. Thechessedof Hashem fills the world. And what is one of the most prevalent kindnesses of Hashem? Air! Hakodosh Boruch Hu made two hundred miles of it. Two hundred miles up of air! Now the air is not one thing. It’s a cocktail mixed exactly with the right ingredients to make it not only beneficial to us but it tastes good too. It’s mixed with oxygen, about twenty percent. All the rest is mostly nitrogen and inert gas because you need something with which to carry the oxygen. If the air was all oxygen, you’d become drunk. If you would breathe oxygen alone, you would get dizzy, you’d become intoxicated. So you have to have the nitrogen to dilute the oxygen; and a little bit of carbon dioxide is essential because it’s an incentive to your lungs to breathe more deeply. And then traces of a few other gases together and it makes together a combination of the perfect material that’s suited for human beings.You know what we are? We’re like fish in the bottom of an ocean. Fish in the ocean. Fish don’t like air. They want water. We’re in an ocean, an ocean of air. The ocean is two hundred miles high. We’re like fish living in this ocean of air, and we love it. That’s our element. If we were to change places with a fish, we wouldn’t be happy, just like a fish wouldn’t be happy if he took our place. And therefore let’s enjoy this ocean while we have it.STRANGLED IN HIS SUMMER HOMESo practice up on this. On the way home, When you walk out of here onto Ocean Parkway – it’s a beautiful street, a parkway with trees and bushes. Now after the rain they’re exuding a fragrance, and the combined fragrance of different kinds of shrubs and trees, combined with the city odors – it’s a pleasure those city odors – and they combine to give a certain cocktail that you don’t drink; you draw it deep into your lungs and you can learn to enjoy it.You think a summer home in Maine and a winter home in Florida is going to make you happy? No, that’s nothing. What good would the home be if you were strangled without air, if you were suffocating for air. Breathing is a big simcha! Some people have difficulty breathing. You know that some people have difficulty breathing?(The Rav took a deep breath). Ahh! It’s a pleasure to fill your lungs.Mamishataanug! Don’t laugh at breathing – it’s a great happiness to breathe.WEEK #2: WALKING IS A HAPPINESSSo you’ve begun to scratch the surface of the happiness of breathing. It was only a week of thinking after all, but you’re a wealthy man already. Now suppose you would spend a week becoming happy that you can walk. So the next week change and start appreciating the fact that you can walk. Walking is asimchah. המכין מצעדי גבר, “How happy I am that I can walk.” Look how many people sit in wheelchairs. Walking is fun. Your thigh swings forward in effortless motion and all of your joints are functioning to perfection. You don’t hear any scraping as you bend your knee, do you? That’s asimcha! You don’t feel any chaffing? Ah, it’s a pleasure to walk. And it’s good exercise too. The entire body is moving. It’s good for your heart. It’s good for everything if you walk. And besides for that, walking shows you’re in control of yourself. All your muscles cooperate to walk and you learn what it means המכין מצעדי גבר.If you walk in the street and you see – like I saw yesterday – a girl who was hopping around on crutches. But the stump of her other leg didn’t stick out. That’s how much was cut off. Now that was an apparition, sent to memin hashamayim. Because how much would this girl give to regain her leg? No money in the world would be too much! And therefore, as you walk in the street you have to think about thatbrachahyou mumbled in the morning, ברוך אתה השם אלוקינו מלך העולם המכין מצעדי גבר – I thank You Hashem for establishing the footsteps of a man. “I’m able to take footsteps on my own feet!” It’s a happiness to be able to walk on your own two feet. You know how ecstatic a man is who has been confined to a wheelchair for a long time – he wasn’t able to walk – and finally he regained that ability! He’s overjoyed! So the second week, you’ll work on the happiness of walking.Now you’re an even wealthier man. You own a few apartment houses already. You have your lungs that are breathing in the great elixir of life we call air, that’s one apartment building that’s yours. Another apartment building is the happiness of being able to walk. That’s a very valuable piece of property! So you’re already a pretty wealthy fellow. You can walk in the street now and your pockets are full of cash. If your pockets would be full of hundred dollar bills bulging on both sides, it’s nothing compared to the person who spent two weeks working on the happiness of fresh air and on the ecstasy of walking. As I walk in the street balancing myself on two legs, and I’m breathing the air of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I’m enjoying life!BE QUEER AND BE HAPPYSo we’re beginning to see now that in order to be asamei’ach b’chelkoyou have to be a queer kind of a fellow. You can’t always share your feelings with other people; they’ll laugh at you. באזני כסיל אל תדבר – “Don’t speak into the ears of a fool.” He’ll make light of these ideas and cool you off (Mishlei 23:9). “There’s a fellow over there, down Ocean Parkway, who’s happy that he has two kidneys! Ha!” Try to tell people that you’re filled with joy, you’remamish b’simchabecause breathing is fun, so they’ll think you’re wacky. Butthey’re the wacky onesbecause they’re missing all the happiness of this world.I know what the people will say when you go out of here. You’ll talk to people and they’ll tell you other things. Don’t be misled! Here comes along afrumtzaddikand says to me, “You’re teaching people to enjoy life?! The purpose of life ista’anugim?! To berodef ta’anugim,run after pleasures?!” He was upset at me. I looked at him and said, “Look, you have a wristwatch. I don’t have a wristwatch. Youdrive a carwhen you come to theyeshivah. Iwalkto theyeshivah. Who is running after pleasure, you or I? You’re running after it but you don’t have it. I’m not looking for pleasures. They’re coming to me. As I walk in the street with my “Rolls Royce” – my two shoes, that’s my Rolls Royce – and I’m breathing the air of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I’m enjoying life. I walk past the cemetery on Ocean Parkway, and I’m filled with happiness that I’m on this side of the gate.” That kind ofkosherta’anugimis achiyuv,it’s amitzvahgedolahto enjoy life that way.ICE CREAM IN THE SUNAll this is serious talk. I know that if you go to akolleland you’ll tell them these things, they’ll laugh at you. That’s because they’re silly – they don’t begin knowing Torah. And don’t tell me that enjoyment and happiness is not fortzadikim. Oh no, you bigtzadik, you don’t want to enjoy the sun and the wind. He’s eating his chocolate cakes and ice cream, but to be happy with the sun, that’s too much.Happiness is not running after good times, not goingchalilahto entertainment, and fun places. No;chas v’shalom, chas v’shalom, that’smeshugas. People who are running after good times are never enjoying life – they’re always running after good times and fun, but they never find it. Never. They’re always busy running, pursuing, but they’ll never find it – because they’re looking in all the wrong places.“G-D MADE” EARPHONES, SPEAKERS, AND CAMERASWho needs places of entertainment to be happy when you have all the happiness right here! Look at yourself, “I’m alive,boruchHashem.” Look at your feet; “Boruch Hashem,two of them! And they’re both the same size!” Look at your ears; “Boruch Hashem!” They’re “earphones” hanging on the side of your head – and you don’t have to buy them in the store. You have teeth; slicing teeth in the front and the grinders in the back. Boruch Hashem! You have a functioning tongue that’s busy all day long in your mouth. You have a “speaker” in your mouth, vocal chords. Boruch Hashem. And eyes! “Cameras” in your head. Boruch Hashem! You can walk, Boruch Hashem! המכין מצעדי גבר. That’s some trick you have there being able to balance yourself as you walk. Boruch Hashem! And that’s only the beginning.You have to learn how to be happy with your clothing. It’s not enough to say thebrachahofmalbish arumimin general andpaturyourself. You have to study the details of your clothing in order to become a happy person. The pockets and the buttons, everything. Study it.THE SHOES IN THE TREASURE CHESTStudy your shoes. Shoes are a happiness. Did you ever think about that? You know that in some countries people don’t have shoes. Only one man wears shoes, that’s the king of the tribe. And not every day. Once in a while he puts on shoes, when a visitor comes from outside, a tourist, so he wants to show he’s a sport so he puts on shoes. Otherwise he doesn’t put on shoes. Shoes are a big luxury. It’s a very complicated achievement, a shoe. Look at the different kinds of leather. And rubber heels. And you need shoestrings. A shoe is a treasure.So let’s say a colonel from the American Air Force lands on that island, so the king takes his shoes out from his treasure chest, and he puts them on, and he marches with his short pants covering his naked body, with some feathers in his head to greet the colonel. And he shows him his shoes. He’s so happy; he’s “an aristocrat.”THE GREAT BLESSING OF SHOELACE TIPSWe should know that shoes are a happiness. It’s not an exaggeration at all. It’s no exaggeration; shoes are a happiness for us. Just because you live in a country where everyone can afford shoes, should that decrease the happiness in any way?!That’s why we’re expected to say every day, שעשה לי כל צרכי. But we’re lazy, we don’t think. Often we’re not even thinking about thepeirush hamilos.I’m not talking now about the “formality” of making thebrachahin shul. When you’re walking down the street, take a minute every day to be happy with your shoes. Think about the details. “How lucky I am to have shoelaces that have plastic tips. If there wasn’t a plastic tip, then I’d have a hard job fitting it into the hole. I’d have to spit on it, and twist it and try to push it through the hole. Boruch Hashem I have plastic on the tips of the laces.”THE DOCTORS ARE OVERCOME WITH EMOTIONOnce you begin thinking this way, you can begin to be happy with all the functions of life. I mentioned the sense of sight before. I can’t just gloss over it quickly. You’re able to see! If you don’t appreciate that, then take a look at the person walking in the street with a white cane tapping his way. What would he do if he could get eyes like you have today?! Even one eye!It was recently reported in the papers that a woman who had a cataract for many years and her situation was considered hopeless. She was a married woman, with children, but she had no sight. And then it was decided to attempt an experimental operation on her. For a long time the bandages remained on her eyes. And finally the doctor came in and he took off the bandages – just for a moment they were taken off so as not to strain her eyes – but in that one moment she screamed in delirium. She could see! And the doctors were weeping. They were overcome with emotion.Now isn’t it a tragedy that we don’t weep in happiness at this great gift of sight!Boruch atah Hashem pokei’ach ivrim, Who opens up the eyes of the blind every morning. Finally this lady saw her husband for the first time; she finally saw her children. And she said that she didn’t want anything more out of lifeexcept to be able to look!FREE LENS CLEANSING GERMICIDESThe happiness of sight, the happiness of seeing color! Seeing is life itself. Thegemarasays that סומא חשוב כמת – in one sense a blind man is like a dead man. He’snotdead – there are a lot of compensations in life – but in a certain way he’s dead. Because the great happiness of having two “cameras” is a joy that a living person shouldn’t be without. Even one camera! How lucky we are! And it’s a color camera that focuses by itself; all day long it’s working perfectly, focusing in, focusing out. Every time you blink you’re washing off the lens with a film of germicide that cleanses. It’s a perfectly functioning camera that has no equal among the best fabrications of Mankind.That’s how you’re expected to think – that’ssameach b’chelko. Not that you’re satisfied with “merely” five hundred thousand dollars. When a man learns to enjoy the fact that he has two good eyes, he is more wealthy than the man who has two million dollars. So how can we be satisfied in the morning with a dry as dust declaration, “pokei’ach ivrim”, which most times we don’t even think about what we’re saying? Isn’t that a tragedy?“I HAVE TWO ARMS!”Now we have to keep on going. Look all around you; did you ever see a man with only one arm? Two weeks ago I saw a man without any arms.Both arms were missing! And I said to myself, “Look, you learnChovos Halevavos, don’t you? How can you pass him by?” So I took another look. I waited till he passed by – I didn’t want to embarrass him – and I took another look to remind myself. And for at least a half a block I was walking on air, thinking how lucky I am to have two arms. Thinkchas v’shalomwhat it would be like if you didn’t have two arms. What would you do? For a half a block I was ecstatic. But a half a block is not enough – it has to be all the time!Not only do you have arms and legs, but your mind is normal. Oooh, what achessedthat is! So many people are very confused; mental illnesses, imbeciles, and depression. Depression is also a sickness, it’s also like being an imbecile. And therefore, ברוך אתה השם חונן הדעת! How can you sayshemonah esreievery day, and ignore thatbracha. It’s the first of the weekdaybrachos, and you’re thanking Hashem thatyou’re sane! Three times a day you say it; shouldn’t you appreciate that great gift?Chonein hadaas –You bestowed sanity upon me.THEY FROZE IN SLABODKAAppreciate the roof over your head. Did you ever stop to appreciate the happiness of a warm house? Once upon a time when a Jew came into his house, “Ah, avarme shtub,” he said. “Ah varme shtub!” In thebeis hamedrashhe was freezing. I sat in Slabodka and we were freezing in theyeshiva! We were freezing! It was hard to heat theyeshiva. The stove was over there at the end, behind the wall, and you put in some wood there till it burned out. It was barely enough to heat that little room. If you would stand next to the stove you would feel some heat – otherwise it was cold. And so you would come home and it was a great happiness to be in avarme shtub. You should be filled with joy when you come into a warm house. And today you can enjoy that happiness in thebeis medrashas well.Warmth is a great happiness. You can ask that poor woman sitting outside on the bench on Ocean Parkway. She has no home. I see her pushing a shopping wagon with all her belongings in that little wagon. She has no warm place to sleep. If somebody would let her rest in the vestibule of their home, it would be the greatest happiness for her. She’d bemeshugehwith joy.LYING ON THE KITCHEN FLOORNow that’s achiddushto most people. A warm house? Yes, a warm house is a happiness. It’s not easy to have a house that’s warm. When I was a boy we didn’t have warm houses. It was only warm in the kitchen where the coal stove was.You had to put coal in the stove. When the coal burned out you had to take the ashes out of the stove. That was the only room where there was warmth. If I wanted to read, I laid down on the floor in the kitchen. I laid on the floor all day, all night, in the kitchen by the stove. All the rest of the house didn’t have any warmth. We didn’t have any radiators. No such thing. The house was cold. If you wanted to warm a house, you put a kerosene stove in the rooms. The kerosene stove had to have oil there and sometimes it didn’t work. When you got up in the morning, the whole room was black, including your face too, it made everything black, the soot from the kerosene stove. This luxury of having a warm house is something the modern people have to realize.Ahhh! What a pleasure it is to have a warm house. So when you walk in with your children in the wintertime from thebeis haknesses, say “Chaim’ll, isn’t it good to have a warm house?” Rub your hands together. He looks at you like you fell off the moon. He doesn’t understand you. “How silly adults are,” he thinks. Never mind.That’s the way to bring up children and eventually he’ll thank you for that.THENEISOF THE FAUCETWhen I was in Slabodka nobody had running water in the house. You had to go a half block away to get water. And you couldn’t drink it; it was dangerous to drink well water. You had to boil it up first. And here in your house you turn the faucet and water comes out, pure water fit to drink! What a wealth, what a happiness that is! And even hot water! Hot water coming out of a faucet! It’s a luxury upon luxuries. Once upon a time hot water came only from springs, hot springs. If you didn’t have hot springs you couldn’t get any hot water unless you boiled it. Think about that every time you turn on the faucet, and you’ll start becoming asamei’achb’chelko.You have to talk to yourself about your home. As you walk on the steps, you should whisper to yourself, “Isn’t it good we have steps?” You know, I have steps upstairs, and many times I think about how in the olden days in thegemarathey didn’t have steps. They had a ladder, adargah. Try climbing a ladder to go upstairs; it’s not so simple. Now even a ladder is also a very good invention. Otherwise you would have to go with a rope, you’d have to lift yourself up. But even a ladder is not so safe. Steps are a luxury.A HANDRAIL ISPIKUACH NEFESHSo here you have a man walking up steps and he’s thanking Hashem for this luxury of steps, for the happiness of a staircase. But not only the steps, there’s a railing too! You know the building code requires you to make a railing, so somechachamim be’eineihemtry to avoid the building code and leave out the rail. They deceive the inspector. So what happens? Sometimes they’re walking up the steps and they’re a little busy and they fall down. You can break your neckchalilah.The railing is there; it’s a happiness,mamishpikuachnefesh. What a blessing a handrail is! You ever stopped to think about that? Never even once did the handrail make you happy?!“All this is silly,” you’ll say. Formeshuga’imeverything is silly. So let them bemeshugeh, and you be happy! You walk up the steps and you’re happy because of the handrail. And the older you get, the more you’ll enjoy it. Imagine a man enjoying the handrail. His life is full of fun, full of happiness.BECOMING A MILLIONAIRE TAKES WORKYou learn little by little. Of course it’s a career. You have to put in work. You could put in five minutes a day practicing enjoying air, five minutes a day practicing enjoying your eyes. Five minutes a day next week practicing enjoying walking. Five minute a day practice enjoying clothing. Little by little you’re gathering up in your bank account wealth and little by little you’re becoming a happy man of many riches, many treasures.But you have to do it, though. Just hearing me say it, is not enough. It takes work to be a fake millionaire, so to be the true millionaire of “hasamei’achbi’chelko”surely takes time and hard work. Like I said before, it doesn’t come by itself. You have to make up your mind that you’re going to pursue this career of happiness and that you’ll always be saying, “I thank You Hashem.” Always, “I thank You Hashem for giving me this breakfast. I thank you Hashem for being able to go to the bathroom.” And don’t rely on thebrachosyou make. You must say it with your mouth in your own language. Always. And then, המחשבה נמשכת אחר הדיבור – your mind will be transformed because of your speech and you will become a happy man. At first it won’t work. You won’t feel so happy. But you keep thinking and talking and these ideas will settle into your mind.RAV MILLER’S GUARANTEE FOR HAPPINESSThat’s what theMesillas Yesharimsays: החיצוניות מעוררת את הפנימיות – The outwardliness bestirs the inwardliness. It’s not sincere – you’re not so happy about breathing. But keep it up, and little by little you’re priming your well, and from the depths of yourneshamareal happiness will come out. Little by little, you’ll add more things. And all the things after a while start adding up you become the real millionaire. And after a while you’ll have forty, fifty things. And that’s nothing yet because there’s so much more than that. But you’ll be happy with forty things and you’ll be a rich man. You’ll be a rich man already. And if you’re a young man yet – even a young man of sixty – you’ll keep on this path, on this career, until you’re in your nineties and you’ll be a very wealthy person.I guarantee you that if you do it, you will become happy with the so many wonderful things that you have always taken for granted. And you will become a servant of Hashem and a great man. Not only will you become a happy person but you will become a great person.HASHEM TAUGHT US THE PATH TO HAPPINESSSo make sure to rejoice in all these things and life becomes so delicious. Life is so full of fun thatyou’re always at a party. People at a party are really morose! Let’s saychalilahyou were at a New Year’s party and you saw people reveling – singing and dancing and blowing whistles, jumping up and down. It’s nothing; it’s an empty happiness. They don’t haveanythingon the man who is really enjoying life. They don’t even begin to understand what you, the happy man or woman is all about. You’realwaysrejoicing!Now, there is a lot more to be studied on this subject – I have many more things listed here that I wanted to talk to you about, but I’m already way past time. But at least we began studying the subject. It’s a science that must be studied and practiced, but at least we know that there is such a thing as happiness the way Hakodosh Boruch Hu expects it, and it’s available to all of us.And don’t ask me questions: “Why don’t I see this from myrebbe, from this person or thattzadik?” Don’t believe it; therealtzadikimknow thatthis is the pathto true happiness in life. Because it’s the path – the way of happiness – that Hashem set down for us on the day we leftMitzrayim. And people who don’t walk this path set down by Hakodosh Boruch Hu are falling short not of greatmadreigos– don’t think they’re falling short of high levels of virtue and perfection. No, they’re falling short of the elementary requirements that Hashem taught us on that great day ofYetzias Mitzrayim:היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – that it is the beauty of a spring day and the thousands of other ordinary details of our lives that are supposed to be the real source of our happiness. And therefore, they’re falling short of living happy lives infused with the endless joy of all the simple pleasures of life symbolized by the lesson of חודש האביב.HAVE A WONDERFUL SHABBOS See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Guide to True HappinessMOSHE RABEINU REPORTING THE WEATHER?!When we read the pesukim that describe the departure of the Am Yisroel from Mitzrayim we note the interesting fact that the time of the year, the spring-like weather, plays a quite significant role in the story. As they gathered to leave Mitzrayim, Moshe Rabeinu spoke to the people זכור את היום הזה אשר יצאתם ממצרים… היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – “Remember always this day that you came out of Egypt…Today you are leaving in the month of spring” (Bo 13:4). Now, you know that in the Torah weather is a subject that is not discussed. This subject that becomes so important when you’re standing on the street talking to someone – when you meet the elevator man or the grocery man, that’s the first subject in America – but in the Torah it’s not discussed. And yet, all of a sudden, Moshe Rabeinu comes along and points out to us that it was a spring day.Now it’s quite strange that Moshe Rabeinu should make a big deal about it. There were many things he could have told the Am Yisroel as they gathered together to begin their journey towards freedom. I myself could think of some very important yesodos that Moshe Rabeinu could have given over at this most opportune time. But to point out the weather conditions?! He wasn’t a meteorologist. And if it was cold and rainy, would it have made a difference?! They were going out to freedom! Ask the man who is released from prison after fifty years if he cares about the temperature on the day he left; he doesn’t remember and he doesn’t even care to remember! He’s free at last!PERFECT WEATHER FOR FREEDOMAnd yet Moshe Rabeinu did say היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – You’re leaving today, and look outside; it’s a beautiful spring day. And Rashi asks: “Didn’t they know it was spring? אלא כך אמר להם, ראו חסד שגמלכם – So what was Moshe Rabeinu telling them? “Pay attention to the kindness that Hashem is bestowing upon you, שהוציא אתכם בחודש שהוא כשר לצאת – That He took you out in a month that is fitting for departure, לא חמה ולא צנה ולא גשמים – It’s not too hot, not too cold, and not raining” (Rashi 13:4). וכן הוא אומר מוציא אסירים בכושרות – Hashem took out His prisoners when it was fitting, חודש שהוא כשר לצאת – during the month in which it is most fitting to depart” (Mechilta).Now we should also take a peek into Shir Hashirim, at Shlomo Hamelech’s description of Hashem speaking to His people on that great day of Yetzias Mitzrayim. קומי לך רעיתי יפתי ולכי לך – “Arise, My love, My beautiful one, and go forth from Mitzrayim, כי הנה הסתיו עבר הגשם חלף הלך לו – Because now the winter has passed, and the rains are gone, and the traveling through the wilderness will be much more pleasant, הנצנים נראו בארץ – The days of spring are here when the trees begin to produce their flowers and those who travel, delight in their colors and fragrances, עת הזמיר הגיע וקול התור נשמע בארצנו – The time of birds singing and chirping has arrived, which adds the additional joy of sweet sounds for those who travel in the spring, קומי לך רעיתי יפתי ולכי לך – And so My beautiful beloved,” says Hashem to the Am Yisroel, “now is the time to arise and leave Mitzrayim” (Shir Hashirim 2:11-13 al pi Rashi).SCHEDULING FOR THE CHIRPING BIRDSSo we see that Hashem made a point of bringing out the Am Yisroel from Mitzrayim davkathen, during the days of spring. And even more so, the Torah tells us that the entire scheduling of the year is dependent on the Yom Tov of Pesach falling out during the spring to commemorate this event: שמור את חודש האביב…כי בחודש האביב הוציאך השם אלוקיך ממצרים – “You must guard the month of spring…for it was in the month of springtime that Hashem your G-d took you out of Egypt” (Devarim 16:1). And what does “Guard the month of spring” mean? Chazal tell us (Rosh Hashanah 21a) that the month of Nissan must always fall out in the spring, and that sometimes the Sanhedrin must even add a month to the calendar just to ensure that Nissan should not fall out when it’s still winter. And all this, so that the Yom Tov ofPesach should fall out in the beautiful days of spring, because היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב, and we want to remember and to commemorate that we left Mitzrayim in the spring.And that’s a very big question. Because what difference does the spring make for a nation that is escaping two hundred and ten years of bondage? The month of chodesh ha’aviv, the ripening of the grain would certainly be a joyous time once they would enter Eretz Yisroel, but here, as they were departing from Rameses, they were far from the promised land and had no benefit at all from the ripening of the grain.What difference is it to such a people, escaping slavery, loaded down with riches, that birds are chirping in the branches? So what that the flowers are blooming on a beautiful spring day? We’re talking here about real happiness – the excitement of escaping to freedom and great wealth, and you’re talking about chirping birds?!This isn’t my question by the way. I heard this said over in the name of the Alter of Skabodkawhen I was in Europe. And because the Alter’s answer is a foundation for how we are supposed to live successfully in this world, so we’ll spend some time understanding his words.THE ALTER’S CHIDDUSHThe Alter said that the spring weather, with all of its varied pleasures was chosen purposefully by Hashem to enhance the occasion of Yetzias Mitzrayim. Even in the mountain-heap joy of liberation, and even though they were loaded down with the wealth of Mitzrayim, they were expected to not overlook the weather, and not to overlook the budding trees and the chirping birds.And why not? Because it was so important for the Am Yisroel to learn – right now, when they were leaving the bondage of Mitzrayim to become avdei Hashem – that the happiness of a true servant of Hashem won’t come from the great events of life. The great jolts of good fortune, the ecstatic moments of great happiness – a new car, a new baby, even if it’s Yetzias Mitzrayim – that won’t make a person truly happy. It’s only the small gifts of life like a balmy spring day and a bird chirping in the trees that are the true happiness of life.What we’re learning from the words, “Today you are going out, in the month of spring,” is that the joy of life is not the big things in life. Of course there is time for that too. It’s a big simcha when you have a child. And it’s even a bigger simcha when you marry that child off. You won the lottery? It’s a simcha! You got the job you wanted? You finished a mesichta? These are all big simchos that are a good reason to rejoice. But those aren’t the things that will make you a happy person! The happiness of transient events – even Yetzias Mitzrayim only happened once – always slip out of your hands sooner or later, and you’re left with the day to day simple pleasures of life, like a spring day, that Hashem is alwaysbestowing on you. And it’s all of those small things that are supposed to make you a happy person.ROSY GLASSES ARE NOTHINGNow you can’t just tell a man, “Be happy; Learn to see the the good things in life.” It’s like saying nothing at all to him. This subject of happiness is a science, and like any important subject, its study takes effort on your part. If you’ll say to someone, “Just put on optimistic spectacles, and look at the world through rosy eyeglasses,” you’re not helping him a bit.There’s work to be done besides for putting on the rosy colored spectacles. What work is that? Every form of happiness is an obligation upon you to appreciate and become even more of a happy person. A person becomes a happy person because of the small things in life. Now don’t say that your experience contradicts this – because it’s not true, you don’thave the experience. You never tried it! It’s necessary to dedicate your lives to the study of all the details of happinesses that you have in your life, in order to become the happy servant of Hashem that He expects.HOW TO GET RICHAnd so we’ll begin our career of happiness by reading together the words of a mishnah; it’s a mishnah that most of us say, but none of us fulfill.איזהו עשיר- Who is a wealthy man? השמח בחלקו – Someone who is happy with what he has. Now, everybody knows that, everybody says it; but nobody practices it.The mishnah is telling us here what Hakodosh Boruch Hu expects from us; that we shouldpractice it and that we should fulfill it. Hashem wants that we should become wealthy. Otherwise why did He tell us that. Why did He say איזהו עשיר? If it’s not important, why tell us? Just as a fact, some more information to know? No; it’s because that’s what you’re expected to become. Hashem wants that you should become that ashir who is sameach b’chelko!BEING SATISFIED IS NOT ENOUGHNow, it’s important to point out that samei’ach doesn’t mean that you’re satisfied with what you have; it means that you’re happy, that you’re full of joy.Hashem wants you to enjoyOlam Hazeh, to be a person overflowing with happiness, and it’s an art that you have to get busy learning. Before we begin, the first thing is that you must get out of your head any thoughts that prishus means to be unhappy. No; prishus means to be happy without luxuries, to be happy with all the multitude of pleasures of living life itself. And that’s who Hashem says is the wealthy man.So איזהו עשיר – Who is the rich man? השמח בחלקו – the one who trains himself little by little to be happy with all of the things that he already has, the things that are available to him all the time. And who is the poor person, the perpetually sad man? The man who is empty; he never learned anything about the happiness of life. All he learned was to want more and more; “gimmee” and “gimmee” and “gimmee” – he wants more and more. And therefore his whole life is nothing but a pursuit after what he doesn’t have. And because of that, he fails to enjoy chelko, what his portion is right now.All through life you’re missing the fun of life. Because wherever you turn in life, wherever you look, you’re going to encounter with your eyes on all sides, reasons to sing and dance with joy – if you know how to use the details of life to become happy. We just have to open our eyes and apply our minds, and be willing to put effort into finding the real happiness of life. If we do that, the happiness within us would well forth and life would become full of fun. It would be endless fun and happiness without the new car, and without the trip to the zoo or the amusement park. It would be all the details of life itself that make you a happy person.STUDY A VARIETY OF SUBJECTSBecause the joy of life is not the big things; and it’s not one small thing either. Because what does chelko mean? Chelko means your portion in life. And life is not one thing – life is a combination, a sum total of tens of thousands of phenomena – and it’s necessary to make eachphenomenon a separate study so that whenever you encounter that phenomenon it will cause you happiness. If you study how two things make you happy, so now you’ll have two things that cause you happiness. If you’ve studied fifty things, so fifty things will cause you happiness. The more subjects you study, the more phenomena you appreciate, the more happiness you will get out of life. Like Dovid Hamelech said: כי שמחתני השם בפעליך במעשה ידיך ארנן – “I sing at the deeds of Your hand” (Tehillim 92:5) And the only way to do that is to put your mind to what you have, and all these things add up to being a wealthy man. Hashem wants you to be wealthy; if you don’t learn this, Hashem is disappointed in you.I’ll give you an example. If you study, let’s say, the wind. Let’s say a man would learn to enjoy the wind. Now, it may seem silly to you, but that’s because you’ve never studied the subject of happiness correctly. Because really, wind is a subject that can make you endlessly grateful and happy. There’s a lot of fun in a wind. But you have to study it.LET’S STUDY WINDStudy the winds?! Now, go tell that to people outside, they’ll laugh at you. But it’s a gemara. The gemara tells in MesichtaGittin (31b) that a chochom was once walking and he saw two sages who were sitting engaged in study. So he said to them, במאי עסקיתו – “What sugya are you learning now?” So they said, ברוחות – “We’re talking about winds.” Two sages of the Talmudare sitting talking about winds! That’s what we should do too. Maybe we should sit down sometime and talk about winds.Now, some people, even talmideichachomim, didn’t learn the correct pshat in this gemara. “Why would they talk about winds,” some mefarshimthought. So they developed other interpretations of this gemara, what ruchos means. But that’s not the pshat. The gemarais telling us that they sat down to discuss wind! Because the study of the wind is a study of איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו.If the wind didn’t blow we couldn’t live. אי אפשר לעולם בלא רוחות – “The world could not exist without winds” (Taanis 3b). Nothing would grow without the wind; you wouldn’t have a piece of bread if not for wind. You didn’t know that? Well, you should start knowing it right now.If not for the wind there would be no food, because the winds keep the air moving so that the minute proportion of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, three parts in ten thousand, is made available to plants. Otherwise the plant would use up all the surrounding carbon dioxide and would die. So when it’s windy, and you have to hold on to your hat, that should be a cause for happiness. That’s your “watermelon” blowing by; your “bread” and your “meat”. It’s refreshing, invigorating and it’s also the key to life itself.A CONTRIBUTION TO YOUR CAREERIf the winds would be discussed and studied properly, so the next time there would be a zephyr, or a blow, or a hurricane, a breeze – whatever form it would come in – it’s going to cause us happiness. Now I’m not saying that we’ll go wild with happiness – it’s only one phenomenon, one detail; but it will make you happy, no question about it. And winds are blowing all the time, and they don’t cost much money either. So learn to enjoy it! It might take some time; it takes work. But after a while, after you begin studying the phenomena of wind, and appreciating it, so wind becomes a stimulus for happiness. So a person is walking in the street, and a slight breeze is tickling him – it’s refreshing and it also arouses in his mind all those pleasurable thoughts; so that’s one contribution to a career of happiness.Now, a breeze is only one thing. But this world is a gift of many happinesses for us. The trees and the flowers, the clouds and the rain. The blue sky, the sun and the moon, the soil and the leaves. Our hands and our eyes, our feet and our shoes. And you have thousands and thousands of other things. Hashem is giving you plenty of air and plenty of water. You have clothing and food. You have garments. You have a roof over your head, a place to sleep. You have a home. A home?! You can lock the door and sleep at night. Not like the homeless people who have to sleep near the railroad tracks and other dangerous places.Life is a veritable wellspring of happiness.But all this is just devarim b’almah, it’s just words. You can’t just be a happy person because of “everything.” Everything is nothing. The path to true happiness is in the details. People have to teach themselves one thing at a time. Now wind is only one example of the happiness of this world. To learn the happiness of life you have to study all the details, moving from one subject to the other. One after the other, after another. And when you add together the sum total of many small phenomena, then they add up to a true happiness in life.BECOMING WEALTHIER AND WEALTHIERIf we would do this, we would actually learn together how to enjoy the phenomena of the world and become happy people all the time. And as life progresses we’d be adding new ideas into the treasure chest of our minds that cause us happiness. We’re adding riches into our mind and at the same time we’d review the old ones more deeply. Every day you can become happier and happier with the simple details of life, and slowly, little by little, you add one more thing and one more thing, and you become an ashir, you become wealthy. And we’d find that from all sides we’re bursting out with song. You’d walk down the Brooklyn street meshugahwith happiness.And once you achieve this wealth, so you’ll never be unhappy again. You can’t be unhappy if your life is filled with thousands of small happinesses all day long. Because no matter what happens you feel you still have air to breathe. Air all you want. And water to drink, all you want. You still have a roof over your head. You still have shoes to wear. You have sunshine and teeth. And that’s only the beginning of the list.And once you become a happy person you’ll be able to withstand all the nisyonos, the trials of life. Life is not easy; there are always ups and downs. And if you don’t achieve this wealth of samei’ach b’chelko, so no matter what you can purchase and no matter how many cars you have, you will be a fundamentally unhappy person, because you never learned what real happiness is. But once you achieve the wealth of samei’ach b’chelko, then no matter what, you’re a happy person for the rest of your life.THE MAIN PORTION IS … LIFE!And therefore, the first thing we must do is to clarify what it is that we’re supposed to be happy about; what does chelko mean? Now, what is the first aspect of chelko that all of us sitting here now have? “Your portion,” means first of all that you’re alive! You never thought about that pshat, did you? You were thinking that it means that when you finally make five hundred thousand dollars, so then you’ll be happy, you’ll be samei’achb’chelko, even though you don’t have two million dollars yet. No, that’s not what chelko means. If you’re still alive that’s already your portion that you’re expected to be full of joy about.Because there is no happiness like being alive! The happiness of being alive is an intense experience, only that we’re so accustomed to it that we ignore it. Let’s say a person would enjoy the fact that he is alive. Oh yes! How lucky you are that you’re alive. Don’t say it’s nothing. It’s everything! A millionaire would give up all of his property to stay alive. You’re alive!And there are plenty of people you know, some of them even your age, who are not alive anymore. I myself look back, when I was a boy. Some of my chaveirim passed away early. There was a fourteen year old friend of mine – he passed away. A twenty year old friend of mine passed away when I was in the yeshiva.WALKING ON CLOUDS!You know what fun it is to be alive! And there’s a simple way to discover it. Here’s a man who’s going to a specialist because his physician found something. And he’s afraid he has something terrible. So the specialist gives him a complete series of tests; blood tests and scans and everything else, and then he has to go home for a few days and wait for an answer. For those few days the man can think of nothing else except for the phone call he’s expecting from the doctor. What is anything worth if he won’t be able to live?! And finally the doctor calls him into his office and sits him down and tells him, “I’m sorry to tell you there’s nothing wrong with you!”Now, when this man walks out of the doctor’s office he’s stepping on clouds. He’s walking through Brooklyn and he’s the happiest man in the whole city. Because now he’s enjoying the sweetness of life. How sweet it is to be alive! The happiness of walking a Brooklyn street knowing that you’re alive is unequaled in all the pleasures of the wealthy.THE QUICK LANDINGOnly that what happens? He walks on clouds from here to Avenue P (two blocks away from the shul) and then he’s back on the ground again. He’s walking on the sidewalk again because he forgets. And that’s a tragedy because the happiness merely of being alive is a tremendous happiness that can keep you walking on clouds all day long.If only people would bestir themselves and say, “Why should I let this treasure go lost?! Why should I wait until the day comes when I’m a hundred and nineteen years old, and I’m laying in a home for the aged, and I’m looking through the window at the people walking the streets outside. I see how beautiful life is, and I’m thinking, ‘That was once me. I never realized how much fun being alive and walking the streets could be. And now I only have one or two days left.’” You know that when a man is lying in the hospital and he knows that his days are numbered, he says “If I could get on the street again. I could once more walk around, once more. What a happiness it would be!” He’s jealous when he looks down from the hospital window and sees people walking in the street and living, and for him, soon it will be all over.Of course if you have it every day after a while your mind becomes stultified. If you haven’t studied it then you don’t even appreciate it anymore. Like I told you earlier, it’s a science; you need to create a program for happiness. It won’t come merely because you came here to the lecture and listened to me. Because if you don’t get busy making yourself happy, all this talk here is a waste.YOU’RE AN OUTSIDER!You have to learn how to be samei’ach in your cheilek of being alive. And so when you pass a funeral parlor – on Coney Island Avenue there are a number of funeral parlors – as you pass by one you say, “Boruch Hashem I’m on the outside!” I’m not joking; I’m very serious now. And when you pass the next one, “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside.” There are three of them there. So by the third one also, “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside.” Say it with your mouth again, and again and again. To be outside of the funeral parlor is a simcha. Inside it’s a funeral home. A “home,” you might think that it’s comfortable, and there’s music for the meisim, and they serve lunch for the meisim. He’s in a box and that’s all. And you’re outside! “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside!”Now, being alive is a happiness ad ein sof, no question about it. But you have to expand on that happiness, because there is much more than life itself. Because not only are you alive but you have functioning kidneys. I know a man who has no kidneys – it’s already years and years that he’s on the waiting list to get a kidney. Three times a week he has to go to the clinic for special treatments instead of a kidney. It takes hours and hours each time, and it’s expensive. But he’s happy to be alive; he’s happy to have a machine that keeps him alive. Because he knows that it’s a ta’anug to be alive. And if he could just get one kidney, how happy he’d be. He wishes he could be you! He’d be delirious with joy!THE TRANSPLANT MANAnd here’s a man who finally was able to get a new kidney. He has one that he “borrowed” from his sister who was kind enough to give him one of her kidneys. So now he’s a “transplant man.” You think it’s so simple? This man cannot take certain medicines because they might upset his anti-rejection system. He takes a regimen of medicines to suppress the immunosuppressive reaction in him that would reject the new kidney. After all, the kidney is not his – it’s foreign matter inside his body. So the tendency of the body is to reject it. And so he’s always taking medicines to suppress the rejection apparatus.And there are some medicines that are sometimes vital to a person – maybe he gets an infection and he needs antibiotics – but now this man cannot take them because they would interfere with his anti-rejection medications. So this person may become subject to infections that he cannot combat because he can’t take medicines. And so all his life he is living precariously with his one kidney.THE CRAZY KIDNEY MANNow, how does this man look at the same world that you look at? If he sees somebody who is glum and downcast, you know what he thinks? He’s thinking, “That man is crazy! He has something to be sad about?! He has his own kidney!” A kidney is a great happiness! A natural one that fits in exactly where it’s supposed to be! It’s suited to everything in his body. All the cells in his body have an especial peculiar individual makeup, and they accept his kidney. While the kidney that this poor fellow has, is being rejected by all the cells in his body. And he is constantly in fear that maybe someday chas v’shalomthe cells in his body will win the fight – it’s a tug of war after all. And when this man sees you on the street he doesn’t understand how you cannot be ecstatic – not only do you have your own kidney, but you have two of them. You’re not only a millionaire, you’re a multi-millionaire!Now I’ll say it again because you have to get it into your heads. Hearing this is not going to make you happy – you have to get to work. So when you go to the bathroom and your kidneys are working perfectly, your bladder is functioning to perfection, you were successful in your “mission.” Are you thinking about it and becoming a happy person? You make an asher yatzar, but while you’re making the brachah you’re making motions to somebody in the house, “Wait, wait; I’ll be done in a second.” That’s the way to make asher yatzar?! A man without kidneys; if he could make asher yatzar, what a happiness it would be!HEALTHY BEGGAR OR SICK RICH MAN?You have to bestir the happiness in your mind – at least when you’re making the brachah. And actually, even that is not enough. All day long you should be thinking about your kidneys. Of course, all day long you can’t do, but during the day when you’re walking the street, take a minute to feel like your walking on clouds because you have functioning kidneys. And don’t say it’s impossible to live that way. It’s possible. You have to just get busy doing it. It’s hard work. You do it one day and then the next day you have to do it even more. You pass by a dialysis clinic, stop for a half minute – a half minute on the clock – and thank Hashem for the joy of having a kidney. And if you do it, if you become happy with your kidney, so now you’re a millionaire. And if you’re ecstatic because you have two kidneys, so you’re a multi-millionaire.So now you’re a multi-millionaire. But that’s only the beginning. I know a man who had to have an operation and he can no longer eliminate by means of his anus. He now has a bag attached to his side. You have to realize that this man walks the streets envying everyone who has a rectum in the right place. If he could restore that natural function, that his orifice should be where it’s supposed to be, that man would give away all his earthly possessions. There’s no question that he would prefer being a beggar with a rectum to be being a millionaire with a bag on his side.THE SILLINESS OF MANKINDAnd now we see how silly all of mankind is if they don’t sing because of what they possess. And not only when you use that orifice, when you move your bowels, but all day. Frequently, as you walk down the street, you should bestir this happiness in your mind – how lucky you are; how convenient it is; how comfortable it is; how wealthy you are. It’s a joy to have the function of natural elimination and it’s a cause for actual tangible pleasure and for singing. A man who has sense, Torah sense, actually rejoices in his ability to eliminate.Now the more you learn how to be happy from all these things, so it grows on you, it becomes part of your personality. Little by little it grows upon your mind an attitude of optimism, and you become a happy personality. “I’m so happy to be alive, to be on this side of the cemetery gate.” That’s what you should think about when you walk for the street. “And not only am I alive, but I have kidneys!” Now, that’s a wealth! “And not only kidneys, but I don’t need a bag on my side! I’m normal!” It’s a great happiness to be normal!THE DELICIOUS COCKTAILSo now we begin to see that it’s important for us to dwell on details. You have to take one thing at a time; maybe one week you’ll work let’s say on enjoying air. Getting the pleasure of breathing. The truth is that when you walk outside tonight, you should take a deep breath. “Ahhh!” you should say.” It’s really a ta’anug.”No cocktail that you could buy in the store compares to the cocktail of fresh air. People walk in the street today and they drink in the street to show off they’re drinking. That’s meshugas. What do you need it for?! Drink in the fresh air. It’s free of charge and it’s much healthier. Fill your lungs. It makes your blood become red immediately, the fresh air.Get into the habit – one week learn to praise Hashem for air. This week whenever you can, think about the happiness of being able to breathe fresh air. After a while you’re happy when you think about the air. Breathing is fun! I once told you about a simple experiment, didn’t I? Dip your head in a bucket of water three times and take it out twice! Anyhow, then wait till you can’t anymore, and finally you’ll take it out this time and you’ll take one deep breath – “Ahh, is that delicious!” The truth is that it’s always delicious. Breathing is delicious!So let’s say you’re walking to the beis haknesses and you tell yourself, “Isn’t it a wonderful thing that there is air to breathe?!” Now at first it’s a chiddush gadol. Air?! I’m afraid that even if you tell it to talmidei chachomim it’s a big chiddush. You tell him, “Yes, air is vital. I’ll prove to you that it’s what you need more than anything else. You can get along without food for days and days. Without water, for a shorter time, but you can get along without water too – for a few days maybe. But without air you can’t get along.”“HALF HALLEL” IS NOT ENOUGHIt says in the Medrash on the possuk כל הנשמה תהלל י-ה, that על כל נשימה ונשימה תהלל י-ה, for every breath you have to say Hallel. And my rebbi said it means gantz Hallel. For every breath you owe Hashem a full hallel. Now, you don’t have time for that – you’re too busy breathing – but at least you have to know that that’s how delicious it is!When a person is a little bit dejected, discouraged, what a good idea it is to go to the window and breathe deeply. We don’t realize. It’s like a drink of very strong medicine. Air comes into your lungs and the oxygen unites with your blood and makes your blood more red. It’s a fact. As you breathe, your blood becomes more invigorated with oxygen. The iron in your blood that makes it red, the hemoglobin, unites with the oxygen, and it carries the oxygen on its path through all the blood vessels everywhere in the body to invigorate all the cells. The whole body is different because you breathe. And therefore it’s a good idea to practice breathing just for the feel of it, just to appreciate that great gift of air.200 MILES OF CHESSEDThe world is full of air. That’s what it means מלוא כל הארץ כבודו. So a man will tell you, “K’vodo? That means the “glory of Hashem.’ Where does air come into it?” What do you think is “the glory of Hashem”? The glory of Hashem is His chessed. The chessed of Hashem fills the world. And what is one of the most prevalent kindnesses of Hashem? Air! Hakodosh Boruch Hu made two hundred miles of it. Two hundred miles up of air! Now the air is not one thing. It’s a cocktail mixed exactly with the right ingredients to make it not only beneficial to us but it tastes good too. It’s mixed with oxygen, about twenty percent. All the rest is mostly nitrogen and inert gas because you need something with which to carry the oxygen. If the air was all oxygen, you’d become drunk. If you would breathe oxygen alone, you would get dizzy, you’d become intoxicated. So you have to have the nitrogen to dilute the oxygen; and a little bit of carbon dioxide is essential because it’s an incentive to your lungs to breathe more deeply. And then traces of a few other gases together and it makes together a combination of the perfect material that’s suited for human beings.You know what we are? We’re like fish in the bottom of an ocean. Fish in the ocean. Fish don’t like air. They want water. We’re in an ocean, an ocean of air. The ocean is two hundred miles high. We’re like fish living in this ocean of air, and we love it. That’s our element. If we were to change places with a fish, we wouldn’t be happy, just like a fish wouldn’t be happy if he took our place. And therefore let’s enjoy this ocean while we have it.STRANGLED IN HIS SUMMER HOMESo practice up on this. On the way home, When you walk out of here onto Ocean Parkway – it’s a beautiful street, a parkway with trees and bushes. Now after the rain they’re exuding a fragrance, and the combined fragrance of different kinds of shrubs and trees, combined with the city odors – it’s a pleasure those city odors – and they combine to give a certain cocktail that you don’t drink; you draw it deep into your lungs and you can learn to enjoy it.You think a summer home in Maine and a winter home in Florida is going to make you happy? No, that’s nothing. What good would the home be if you were strangled without air, if you were suffocating for air. Breathing is a big simcha! Some people have difficulty breathing. You know that some people have difficulty breathing? (The Rav took a deep breath). Ahh! It’s a pleasure to fill your lungs. Mamish a taanug! Don’t laugh at breathing – it’s a great happiness to breathe.WEEK #2: WALKING IS A HAPPINESSSo you’ve begun to scratch the surface of the happiness of breathing. It was only a week of thinking after all, but you’re a wealthy man already. Now suppose you would spend a week becoming happy that you can walk. So the next week change and start appreciating the fact that you can walk. Walking is a simchah. המכין מצעדי גבר, “How happy I am that I can walk.” Look how many people sit in wheelchairs. Walking is fun. Your thigh swings forward in effortless motion and all of your joints are functioning to perfection. You don’t hear any scraping as you bend your knee, do you? That’s a simcha! You don’t feel any chaffing? Ah, it’s a pleasure to walk. And it’s good exercise too. The entire body is moving. It’s good for your heart. It’s good for everything if you walk. And besides for that, walking shows you’re in control of yourself. All your muscles cooperate to walk and you learn what it means המכין מצעדי גבר.If you walk in the street and you see – like I saw yesterday – a girl who was hopping around on crutches. But the stump of her other leg didn’t stick out. That’s how much was cut off. Now that was an apparition, sent to me min hashamayim. Because how much would this girl give to regain her leg? No money in the world would be too much! And therefore, as you walk in the street you have to think about that brachah you mumbled in the morning, ברוך אתה השם אלוקינו מלך העולם המכין מצעדי גבר – I thank You Hashem for establishing the footsteps of a man. “I’m able to take footsteps on my own feet!” It’s a happiness to be able to walk on your own two feet. You know how ecstatic a man is who has been confined to a wheelchair for a long time – he wasn’t able to walk – and finally he regained that ability! He’s overjoyed! So the second week, you’ll work on the happiness of walking.Now you’re an even wealthier man. You own a few apartment houses already. You have your lungs that are breathing in the great elixir of life we call air, that’s one apartment building that’s yours. Another apartment building is the happiness of being able to walk. That’s a very valuable piece of property! So you’re already a pretty wealthy fellow. You can walk in the street now and your pockets are full of cash. If your pockets would be full of hundred dollar bills bulging on both sides, it’s nothing compared to the person who spent two weeks working on the happiness of fresh air and on the ecstasy of walking. As I walk in the street balancing myself on two legs, and I’m breathing the air of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I’m enjoying life!BE QUEER AND BE HAPPYSo we’re beginning to see now that in order to be a samei’ach b’chelko you have to be a queer kind of a fellow. You can’t always share your feelings with other people; they’ll laugh at you. באזני כסיל אל תדבר – “Don’t speak into the ears of a fool.” He’ll make light of these ideas and cool you off (Mishlei 23:9). “There’s a fellow over there, down Ocean Parkway, who’s happy that he has two kidneys! Ha!” Try to tell people that you’re filled with joy, you’re mamish b’simchabecause breathing is fun, so they’ll think you’re wacky. But they’re the wacky ones because they’re missing all the happiness of this world.I know what the people will say when you go out of here. You’ll talk to people and they’ll tell you other things. Don’t be misled! Here comes along a frum tzaddikand says to me, “You’re teaching people to enjoy life?! The purpose of life is ta’anugim?! To be rodef ta’anugim, run after pleasures?!” He was upset at me. I looked at him and said, “Look, you have a wristwatch. I don’t have a wristwatch. You drive a car when you come to the yeshivah. I walk to the yeshivah. Who is running after pleasure, you or I? You’re running after it but you don’t have it. I’m not looking for pleasures. They’re coming to me. As I walk in the street with my “Rolls Royce” – my two shoes, that’s my Rolls Royce – and I’m breathing the air of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I’m enjoying life. I walk past the cemetery on Ocean Parkway, and I’m filled with happiness that I’m on this side of the gate.” That kind of kosher ta’anugim is a chiyuv, it’s a mitzvah gedolah to enjoy life that way.ICE CREAM IN THE SUNAll this is serious talk. I know that if you go to a kollel and you’ll tell them these things, they’ll laugh at you. That’s because they’re silly – they don’t begin knowing Torah. And don’t tell me that enjoyment and happiness is not for tzadikim. Oh no, you big tzadik, you don’t want to enjoy the sun and the wind. He’s eating his chocolate cakes and ice cream, but to be happy with the sun, that’s too much.Happiness is not running after good times, not going chalilah to entertainment, and fun places. No; chas v’shalom, chas v’shalom, that’s meshugas. People who are running after good times are never enjoying life – they’re always running after good times and fun, but they never find it. Never. They’re always busy running, pursuing, but they’ll never find it – because they’re looking in all the wrong places.“G-D MADE” EARPHONES, SPEAKERS, AND CAMERASWho needs places of entertainment to be happy when you have all the happiness right here! Look at yourself, “I’m alive, boruch Hashem.” Look at your feet; “Boruch Hashem, two of them! And they’re both the same size!” Look at your ears; “Boruch Hashem!” They’re “earphones” hanging on the side of your head – and you don’t have to buy them in the store. You have teeth; slicing teeth in the front and the grinders in the back. Boruch Hashem! You have a functioning tongue that’s busy all day long in your mouth. You have a “speaker” in your mouth, vocal chords. Boruch Hashem. And eyes! “Cameras” in your head. Boruch Hashem! You can walk, Boruch Hashem! המכין מצעדי גבר. That’s some trick you have there being able to balance yourself as you walk. Boruch Hashem! And that’s only the beginning.You have to learn how to be happy with your clothing. It’s not enough to say the brachah of malbish arumim in general and patur yourself. You have to study the details of your clothing in order to become a happy person. The pockets and the buttons, everything. Study it.THE SHOES IN THE TREASURE CHESTStudy your shoes. Shoes are a happiness. Did you ever think about that? You know that in some countries people don’t have shoes. Only one man wears shoes, that’s the king of the tribe. And not every day. Once in a while he puts on shoes, when a visitor comes from outside, a tourist, so he wants to show he’s a sport so he puts on shoes. Otherwise he doesn’t put on shoes. Shoes are a big luxury. It’s a very complicated achievement, a shoe. Look at the different kinds of leather. And rubber heels. And you need shoestrings. A shoe is a treasure.So let’s say a colonel from the American Air Force lands on that island, so the king takes his shoes out from his treasure chest, and he puts them on, and he marches with his short pants covering his naked body, with some feathers in his head to greet the colonel. And he shows him his shoes. He’s so happy; he’s “an aristocrat.”THE GREAT BLESSING OF SHOELACE TIPSWe should know that shoes are a happiness. It’s not an exaggeration at all. It’s no exaggeration; shoes are a happiness for us. Just because you live in a country where everyone can afford shoes, should that decrease the happiness in any way?!That’s why we’re expected to say every day, שעשה לי כל צרכי. But we’re lazy, we don’t think. Often we’re not even thinking about the peirush hamilos.I’m not talking now about the “formality” of making the brachahin shul. When you’re walking down the street, take a minute every day to be happy with your shoes. Think about the details. “How lucky I am to have shoelaces that have plastic tips. If there wasn’t a plastic tip, then I’d have a hard job fitting it into the hole. I’d have to spit on it, and twist it and try to push it through the hole. Boruch Hashem I have plastic on the tips of the laces.”THE DOCTORS ARE OVERCOME WITH EMOTIONOnce you begin thinking this way, you can begin to be happy with all the functions of life. I mentioned the sense of sight before. I can’t just gloss over it quickly. You’re able to see! If you don’t appreciate that, then take a look at the person walking in the street with a white cane tapping his way. What would he do if he could get eyes like you have today?! Even one eye!It was recently reported in the papers that a woman who had a cataract for many years and her situation was considered hopeless. She was a married woman, with children, but she had no sight. And then it was decided to attempt an experimental operation on her. For a long time the bandages remained on her eyes. And finally the doctor came in and he took off the bandages – just for a moment they were taken off so as not to strain her eyes – but in that one moment she screamed in delirium. She could see! And the doctors were weeping. They were overcome with emotion.Now isn’t it a tragedy that we don’t weep in happiness at this great gift of sight! Boruch atah Hashem pokei’ach ivrim, Who opens up the eyes of the blind every morning. Finally this lady saw her husband for the first time; she finally saw her children. And she said that she didn’t want anything more out of life except to be able to look!FREE LENS CLEANSING GERMICIDESThe happiness of sight, the happiness of seeing color! Seeing is life itself. The gemarasays that סומא חשוב כמת – in one sense a blind man is like a dead man. He’s not dead – there are a lot of compensations in life – but in a certain way he’s dead. Because the great happiness of having two “cameras” is a joy that a living person shouldn’t be without. Even one camera! How lucky we are! And it’s a color camera that focuses by itself; all day long it’s working perfectly, focusing in, focusing out. Every time you blink you’re washing off the lens with a film of germicide that cleanses. It’s a perfectly functioning camera that has no equal among the best fabrications of Mankind.That’s how you’re expected to think – that’s sameach b’chelko. Not that you’re satisfied with “merely” five hundred thousand dollars. When a man learns to enjoy the fact that he has two good eyes, he is more wealthy than the man who has two million dollars. So how can we be satisfied in the morning with a dry as dust declaration, “pokei’ach ivrim”, which most times we don’t even think about what we’re saying? Isn’t that a tragedy?“I HAVE TWO ARMS!”Now we have to keep on going. Look all around you; did you ever see a man with only one arm? Two weeks ago I saw a man without any arms. Both arms were missing! And I said to myself, “Look, you learn Chovos Halevavos, don’t you? How can you pass him by?” So I took another look. I waited till he passed by – I didn’t want to embarrass him – and I took another look to remind myself. And for at least a half a block I was walking on air, thinking how lucky I am to have two arms. Think chas v’shalom what it would be like if you didn’t have two arms. What would you do? For a half a block I was ecstatic. But a half a block is not enough – it has to be all the time!Not only do you have arms and legs, but your mind is normal. Oooh, what a chessed that is! So many people are very confused; mental illnesses, imbeciles, and depression. Depression is also a sickness, it’s also like being an imbecile. And therefore, ברוך אתה השם חונן הדעת! How can you say shemonah esrei every day, and ignore that bracha. It’s the first of the weekday brachos, and you’re thanking Hashem that you’re sane! Three times a day you say it; shouldn’t you appreciate that great gift? Chonein hadaas – You bestowed sanity upon me.THEY FROZE IN SLABODKAAppreciate the roof over your head. Did you ever stop to appreciate the happiness of a warm house? Once upon a time when a Jew came into his house, “Ah, a varme shtub,” he said. “Ah varme shtub!” In thebeis hamedrash he was freezing. I sat in Slabodka and we were freezing in the yeshiva! We were freezing! It was hard to heat the yeshiva. The stove was over there at the end, behind the wall, and you put in some wood there till it burned out. It was barely enough to heat that little room. If you would stand next to the stove you would feel some heat – otherwise it was cold. And so you would come home and it was a great happiness to be in a varme shtub. You should be filled with joy when you come into a warm house. And today you can enjoy that happiness in the beis medrash as well.Warmth is a great happiness. You can ask that poor woman sitting outside on the bench on Ocean Parkway. She has no home. I see her pushing a shopping wagon with all her belongings in that little wagon. She has no warm place to sleep. If somebody would let her rest in the vestibule of their home, it would be the greatest happiness for her. She’d be meshugeh with joy.LYING ON THE KITCHEN FLOORNow that’s a chiddush to most people. A warm house? Yes, a warm house is a happiness. It’s not easy to have a house that’s warm. When I was a boy we didn’t have warm houses. It was only warm in the kitchen where the coal stove was. You had to put coal in the stove. When the coal burned out you had to take the ashes out of the stove. That was the only room where there was warmth. If I wanted to read, I laid down on the floor in the kitchen. I laid on the floor all day, all night, in the kitchen by the stove. All the rest of the house didn’t have any warmth. We didn’t have any radiators. No such thing. The house was cold. If you wanted to warm a house, you put a kerosene stove in the rooms. The kerosene stove had to have oil there and sometimes it didn’t work. When you got up in the morning, the whole room was black, including your face too, it made everything black, the soot from the kerosene stove. This luxury of having a warm house is something the modern people have to realize.Ahhh! What a pleasure it is to have a warm house. So when you walk in with your children in the wintertime from the beis haknesses, say “Chaim’ll, isn’t it good to have a warm house?” Rub your hands together. He looks at you like you fell off the moon. He doesn’t understand you. “How silly adults are,” he thinks. Never mind. That’s the way to bring up children and eventually he’ll thank you for that.THE NEIS OF THE FAUCETWhen I was in Slabodka nobody had running water in the house. You had to go a half block away to get water. And you couldn’t drink it; it was dangerous to drink well water. You had to boil it up first. And here in your house you turn the faucet and water comes out, pure water fit to drink! What a wealth, what a happiness that is! And even hot water! Hot water coming out of a faucet! It’s a luxury upon luxuries. Once upon a time hot water came only from springs, hot springs. If you didn’t have hot springs you couldn’t get any hot water unless you boiled it. Think about that every time you turn on the faucet, and you’ll start becoming a samei’ach b’chelko.You have to talk to yourself about your home. As you walk on the steps, you should whisper to yourself, “Isn’t it good we have steps?” You know, I have steps upstairs, and many times I think about how in the olden days in the gemara they didn’t have steps. They had a ladder, a dargah. Try climbing a ladder to go upstairs; it’s not so simple. Now even a ladder is also a very good invention. Otherwise you would have to go with a rope, you’d have to lift yourself up. But even a ladder is not so safe. Steps are a luxury.A HANDRAIL IS PIKUACH NEFESHSo here you have a man walking up steps and he’s thanking Hashem for this luxury of steps, for the happiness of a staircase. But not only the steps, there’s a railing too! You know the building code requires you to make a railing, so some chachamim be’eineihem try to avoid the building code and leave out the rail. They deceive the inspector. So what happens? Sometimes they’re walking up the steps and they’re a little busy and they fall down. You can break your neck chalilah. The railing is there; it’s a happiness, mamish pikuachnefesh. What a blessing a handrail is! You ever stopped to think about that? Never even once did the handrail make you happy?!“All this is silly,” you’ll say. For meshuga’im everything is silly. So let them be meshugeh, and you be happy! You walk up the steps and you’re happy because of the handrail. And the older you get, the more you’ll enjoy it. Imagine a man enjoying the handrail. His life is full of fun, full of happiness.BECOMING A MILLIONAIRE TAKES WORKYou learn little by little. Of course it’s a career. You have to put in work. You could put in five minutes a day practicing enjoying air, five minutes a day practicing enjoying your eyes. Five minutes a day next week practicing enjoying walking. Five minute a day practice enjoying clothing. Little by little you’re gathering up in your bank account wealth and little by little you’re becoming a happy man of many riches, many treasures.But you have to do it, though. Just hearing me say it, is not enough. It takes work to be a fake millionaire, so to be the true millionaire of “hasamei’achbi’chelko”surely takes time and hard work. Like I said before, it doesn’t come by itself. You have to make up your mind that you’re going to pursue this career of happiness and that you’ll always be saying, “I thank You Hashem.” Always, “I thank You Hashem for giving me this breakfast. I thank you Hashem for being able to go to the bathroom.” And don’t rely on the brachos you make. You must say it with your mouth in your own language. Always. And then, המחשבה נמשכת אחר הדיבור – your mind will be transformed because of your speech and you will become a happy man. At first it won’t work. You won’t feel so happy. But you keep thinking and talking and these ideas will settle into your mind.RAV MILLER’S GUARANTEE FOR HAPPINESSThat’s what the Mesillas Yesharim says: החיצוניות מעוררת את הפנימיות – The outwardliness bestirs the inwardliness. It’s not sincere – you’re not so happy about breathing. But keep it up, and little by little you’re priming your well, and from the depths of your neshama real happiness will come out. Little by little, you’ll add more things. And all the things after a while start adding up you become the real millionaire. And after a while you’ll have forty, fifty things. And that’s nothing yet because there’s so much more than that. But you’ll be happy with forty things and you’ll be a rich man. You’ll be a rich man already. And if you’re a young man yet – even a young man of sixty – you’ll keep on this path, on this career, until you’re in your nineties and you’ll be a very wealthy person.I guarantee you that if you do it, you will become happy with the so many wonderful things that you have always taken for granted. And you will become a servant of Hashem and a great man. Not only will you become a happy person but you will become a great person.HASHEM TAUGHT US THE PATH TO HAPPINESSSo make sure to rejoice in all these things and life becomes so delicious. Life is so full of fun thatyou’re always at a party. People at a party are really morose! Let’s say chalilah you were at a New Year’s party and you saw people reveling – singing and dancing and blowing whistles, jumping up and down. It’s nothing; it’s an empty happiness. They don’t have anything on the man who is really enjoying life. They don’t even begin to understand what you, the happy man or woman is all about. You’re always rejoicing!Now, there is a lot more to be studied on this subject – I have many more things listed here that I wanted to talk to you about, but I’m already way past time. But at least we began studying the subject. It’s a science that must be studied and practiced, but at least we know that there is such a thing as happiness the way Hakodosh Boruch Hu expects it, and it’s available to all of us.And don’t ask me questions: “Why don’t I see this from my rebbe, from this person or that tzadik?” Don’t believe it; the realtzadikim know that this is the path to true happiness in life. Because it’s the path – the way of happiness – that Hashem set down for us on the day we left Mitzrayim. And people who don’t walk this path set down by Hakodosh Boruch Hu are falling short not of great madreigos – don’t think they’re falling short of high levels of virtue and perfection. No, they’re falling short of the elementary requirements that Hashem taught us on that great day of Yetzias Mitzrayim: היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – that it is the beauty of a spring day and the thousands of other ordinary details of our lives that are supposed to be the real source of our happiness. And therefore, they’re falling short of living happy lives infused with the endless joy of all the simple pleasures of life symbolized by the lesson of חודש האביב.HAVE A WONDERFUL SHABBOS See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Season 2: Ep 2 - “Don’t Label Me” We put labels on life all the time. ‘Right,’ ‘wrong’, ‘success’, ‘failure’, ‘lucky’, ‘unlucky’ may be as limiting a way of seeing things as ‘diabetic’, ‘epileptic’, manic-depressive’, or even ‘invalid’. What is labeling? A verb meaning assign or attach to a category, especially inaccurate or restrictive Ways in which we are labeled? Our job Our physical appearance Our material possessions Our religion Our race Our social media persona Our social status Why do people label? Is it because going beneath the surface may take us to uncomfortable places? That going deeper into the core of our own or someone’s being may threaten our beliefs or challenge our expectations? What are some of the labels I have been given? Bad liar adulter thief stupid selfish narcissist   Good Honest Open Faithful Giving Genius Selfless Strong   How do labels make me feel or affected me? Negative Hurt Depressed Reduced self-esteem Abnormal Stolen identity Oppressed Boxed in Limited Positive Reinforcement Encouragement (Gideon) Enhanced self-esteem Positive outlook Identified Empowered In both cases, labels can create a self-fulfilling prophecy If I am not a label or a “brand” what I am I? You are an original creation! I am a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17) I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139:14) I am God’s workmanship (Eph 2:10) I am alive with Christ (Eph 2:10) I am complete in Him (Col 2:10) I am holy and without blame before Him (Eph 1:4) I am greatly loved by God (John 3:16) I have the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16) I am chosen by God (1 Peter 1:23) My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit; I belong to Him (1 Cor 6:19) Thanks for listening! Please leave us a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode! Please visit our sponsor's page and check out their products at www.fitculturecrew.idlife.com If you have any questions regarding today's message, desire prayer or have a suggestion for an upcoming podcast please contact us at info@nspirelifeministries.org and visit our website at www.NspireLifeMinistries.org #BreakThrough #Label #lies #DontLabelMe #Godslove #Identity #truth #patience #Muscle #MuscleModel #Model #Fitness #Fear #MeToo #SpiritualMuscle #StayingPower #Gym #Thrive #Marriage #Winning #Bikini #Bodybuilding #Identity #SelfMade #GodMade #BeTheLight #Salvation #Kingdom #KingJesus #NspireLife #Podcast #Walk #Faith #Freedom

This conversation is with renown insta-runner Kimberly Underwood about all things running training. Kimberly recently dropped her Marathon personal best time from 3:38 to 3:11 in under 2 years with a few simple changes under coaching guidance of Elite Half Marathoner Ryan Vail. Kimberly and Ryan have taken a much more relaxed approach to training in many ways: they no longer count mileage, they no longer shoot for PR’s in every workout and they make sure they train with other runners as good as them.. something Kimberly learnt from talking with elite African athletes. Don’t forget to check out our new book: Eliud Kipchoge – History’s fastest marathoner: An insight into the Kenyan life that shapes legends — — — — — — Podcast Transcription Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Hi Kimberly. Thanks very much for joining me today. You’re over in San Diego, in California right now, and I’ve asked to chat with you today because you have plenty of excellent running training advice coming through from your Instagram account, which relates very closely with, I guess, the experiences we’ve had talking to a lot of the elite athletes we’ve been meeting with and talking with over the last couple of years. So, thank you very much for joining us, and… Yeah. I’m looking forward to the conversation about your training and many other things that you’re, sort of, aiming towards in the future. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Thank you so much for having me, Matt. I’m super excited to chat! Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Cool. So, right now, you’re training towards the California International Marathon this December. Is this the first time you’ll be running that event? Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): No. I ran it last year, after I basically took a 22 month break from the marathon, and it was my first marathon after almost two years. I ran it in December, and that’s where I had my breakthrough race, at the 3:11 marathon. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Awesome. And that’s your personal best to date? Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yes! It was my personal best, and after… I’ve had a string of 6 marathons in 23 months, and my last three were 3:47, a 3:39 and a 3:38, so after that last one, I was, like, ‘I need to take a break and I need to regroup.’ Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: And you really came back and improved a lot on that. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Definitely. I’m really grateful that things finally turned around. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Awesome. So, I guess this is a perfect time to talk about what you changed in your training, or mentality, or whatnot, to see that sort of improvement. Because that’s a massive jump. As I’ve already said at the start – for anyone that isn’t already following Kimberly, whose Instagram handle is @trackclubbabe. It would be really cool to speak a bit more about, yeah, what you’ve changed in your training, your mentality, to allow that sort of improvement to happen. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe):  Yeah. So, you know, I…  I had one tough marathon, and then, after it, I was just, you know… ‘I need to get back out there and do this again!’ And it’s really tough, coming into the next marathon cycle, kind of, with, like… I don’t want to say ‘loser’s mentality’, but just, like, trying to prove something and kind of… Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Sure. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Feeling really defeated. And I basically went into three full cycles with that mentality. And, after the last though marathon in Tokyo, you know… Initially, after the race, I said ‘I’m not doing another race for a really long time, I need to get things… Like, something needs to be sorted out.’ And then, like, the next day, I told my husband – ‘You know what? I’m just going to sign up for this marathon in two months because I need to prove that I can do Boston again.’ Because I already qualified for Boston two times, but then I started regressing and doing poorer performances than I had done, and, luckily, Tyler – my husband – said, ‘Nope, you’re not signing up for that race. You’re doing the break you said you’re going to do. We’re going to get, like, you back on track.’ You know? And… You know, sometimes, when you’re second day of the cycle, it’s easy to try to, like, keep trying to put yourself out there, to try to prove yourself again… But I think it was really helpful for me to, you know, just take my pride and ego out of it, and just say, ‘I’m going to just sit back for a while and not do any marathons, and not feel the need to prove myself…’ And, so, just having a more patient and humble mindset with my running really helped me to take that step back. And then, from there, I… I just, literally, changed everything about my training, everything about the way I thought. Some of the main things that I changed were: I started running with people, you know, in all those training cycles before, I pretty much isolated myself and ran alone because of… Like, I was embarrassed because I felt like my running was poor, so I kept my running poor because I refused to be challenged by other people. But that was, you know, tough and… Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: I think that’s something a lot of people experience, as well. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Totally. It’s a really tough cycle, because you’re, like, feeling insecure and embarrassed about how your running is, but, in order to get better, it’s ‘Iron sharpens iron.’ So, if you’re not putting yourself out there in the mix and challenging yourself… You know,the first couple of times, it might be tough, you know? And you have to really check your ego, because… Because you’re running with other people, who are at different levels, and… But the way you get better is by throwing yourself into the mix. And so, you know, putting myself… Running with other people just made the process so much better, and it made me become a quicker runner, it made me enjoy the process more, you know… I learned so much from them, so that was something that was huge. You can’t… I mean, you can do it alone, but I just don’t think you should. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. And one of your Instagram posts from a couple of weeks, or potentially about a month or two ago – sorry – you said, ‘The piece of advice I heard most often from the Ethiopian runners was that it was impossible to improve on your own.’ And the quote you’re mentioned there is, ‘Training alone is just for health. To be changed you must learn from others.’ And I really agree with that, having spent quite a bit of time in Africa, with some elite running groups, it is absolutely… What they do there, they train in groups, and I think a lot of people listening or reading this would definitely relate to that, and… I guess, I’d like to know: how did you solve that in your own mind? To go from running on your own to going, ‘Right, I’m going to join a group and actually train with people.’ It must have been a big step. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): It really was. Honestly, my husband had told me for a while that I needed to do it, and then I had a friend who really was, like, ‘You need to be running with people. You can’t be doing these workouts alone.’ And so, then, one day I finally got up the courage to text my friend, Shambra, and just say, ‘Would you want to do a workout with me?’ You know, and that’s, like… It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it was a huge deal for me then. And, you know, we got some other girls, and, you know, our training cycle towards the CIM was just amazing because of the synergy of our group, and… You know, I think that taking that first step and just putting yourself out there, and finding people to train with… It’s just so amazing for your running. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. And which is the group that you train with there, in California? Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Well, right now, my husband belongs to a sub-elite team called Prado Racing Team, so I’ve been doing all my workouts with them, and they are so quick and all so talented, so I’m fortunate to even just be able to get my training in with them. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: For sure. And I guess this is a good time just to briefly touch on the sort of training that you have more specifically been doing, you know, whether it’s mentioning the training program that that group does, or probably, more specifically, what you’ve been doing. Because of, linking back to that improvement, it would be cool to hear what you do on a weekly basis – what your typical Monday looks like, typical Tuesday, because you have seen this massive jump, and, although a lot of it is psychological, you’ve probably – as you’ve mentioned already – you’ve changed your training a lot. So, it would be cool to hear a bit more about that. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah. So, I also started working with a coach last November, October, I believe. Ryan Vail – he actually just ran 1:02:19 at the Great North Run, which is amazing, such a fast time. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Wow. That’s very quick. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): But he’s, you know, he’s a phenomenal elite athlete, and I love his approach to training. It’s super conservative. When I started working with him, I kind of told him my parameters. Like, when I had to regroup two years ago, and take a break from the marathon, I changed everything. So, I went from just, like, overtraining and running way too much, and just doing all of these miles that were not… They are counterproductive. And I… My boundary was, I wasn’t running more than five times a week. So, going from doubles to only five runs a week was a big shift for me. And, you know, I could have made the choice to add more days as I got better, but my philosophy has been, like, ‘As long as it’s working, let’s keep it here.’ You know? And so, we kept my training at five days a week, because I think that this works for me and I don’t want to overload myself. So, basically, Monday is an easy day. Tuesday I have off. Wednesday I do a track workout, and Thursday is another easy day – you know, just running, like, six miles. Friday I take off and do strength, so my off days, I to strength work, just with, like, weights. And Saturday, I do a tempo long run combo. So, I did twenty miles this Saturday with, like, five mile warm up and eight by one mile repeat, and then finished it off with a cooldown. So they get to be pretty big days, and then Sunday is another medium long easy run. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Sure. Yeah, I did see a post on your… A really good post on your Instagram, about the twenty mile day that you did recently. It was very well explained, and if anyone is interested in hearing more about that particular workout, I would recommend going to check that out. It would be good to hear a little bit about the Wednesday, when you said you do… I think it was Wednesday you said you did track. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: What are a couple of key workouts that you’ve been doing, or maybe some of your favorites, on the track? Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah. So, I’ve been really enjoying the track, it’s fun just to be out there with all the girls, just running fast. I think one of my favorite workouts, just because it’s been so… They’ve gone so well when I’ve done them, has been four by mile on the track, and the most recent time I did four by mile a couple of weeks ago, I did, like, a ten second mile PR as my first mile in the workout, and it’s just the synergy of running with these really incredibly talented girls, just pulls you along, and just helps you find your own potential. So, yeah. I really enjoy mile repeats on the track, or, you know… I also enjoy the short intervals, too, because I like running fast. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Yeah, absolutely. And when you’re doing these mile intervals there, are they around, I guess, maybe, a half marathon, or 10K half marathon to marathon pace? Somewhere in there? Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): No. The mile intervals are all at mile PR pace. My training is just a little bit different, because my husband, like, laughs at… Like, when we try to, like, describe pacing for my workouts, because… I think, because of where I am, which is not extremely fast, that my speed workouts can be a lot faster than, say, an elite athlete would be paced at, if that makes sense. So, just because, like, the more amateur the runner, the more spread out all of those times seem to be. So… Because I’m improving so quickly, it’s also, like… If I say ‘half marathon pace’, it’s kind of, like, ‘Well, I had to run a half marathon to make capability, so which pace are we talking about?’ It kind of makes everything a bit confusing. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. No, I understand. That’s really interesting, thanks for sharing that. Another really good post of yours, which I’d like to briefly touch on – because this is something that we’ve definitely learned from speaking with athletes such as  Eliud Kipchoge over in Kenya [more info here], and from Mo Farah’s training group [more info here].. the header of the post is ‘Why every workout isn’t a PR workout?’ You briefly talk about… one quote from there is, ‘I’m realising I need to relax my standards for a good workout, and not limit good workouts to ones where I can run faster than I previously ever had in a workout, because that’s not necessarily the point of them.’ I think this is something that a lot of people, again, do accidentally. They really try, and maybe it’s not an accident, but they try and push themselves too hard in every single workout. So, it would be really good to know how you discovered this kind of idea, and what you think about this topic… Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah. Well, I think that it’s… You know, a lot of maybe really type-A people gravitate towards running because it’s such a quantifiable activity. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): You know, and so, it gives you kind of that gratification that you need out of something, because you can quantify it – there’s paces, there’s, you know, all these types of things you can measure. And so, that’s why a lot of people like me tend to gravitate towards running. The bad thing is, though, that we use these measuring standards to tell us if we had a good or bad day, which is not totally fair. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): There’s so many variables that go into it, and the point of some workouts may not be to have the very fastest, you know, 800 you’ve ever ran in that workout. There’s just so many different things that go into a full training plan. And so, I think that realising the purpose for workouts, and realising that everything fits into a puzzle, and that it doesn’t have to be your very best day every single time you go out to have a workout is super helpful. It’s definitely something I’ve still been trying to grasp as, like, an amateur runner. My husband, Tyler, he’s a 2:18 runner, so he’s extremely fast, and he also just has a more laid back personality, so I think being around him has helped me to take a better approach to things, because he can go to a workout and not have executed all the fastest K repeats, thousand repeats, you know, he’s ever done, and he can say, ‘It was a good workout. It did what it was supposed to do.’ And so, I’m learning that that’s the approach I need to take for longevity. The way I’m looking at it as, like, success or failure, is just too hardnose to make this a really enjoyable, you know, and successful approach to, you know, training for races. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. And this is something that we spoke very briefly about with Patrick Sang, who is Eliud Kipchoge’s coach… (article of interview with Eliud Kipchoge’s coach on training here). He mentioned that, in the work… Within his group, there are a few people that are, sort of, this personality, and they really like to try and smash themself on… In every workout, and try to improve themlself, and it’s interesting… Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yes! Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite:  He mentioned something along the line… This is a year ago now, last August we were over there, he went something along the lines of, it’s interesting for him to see a large group of people that… There’s Eliud on one end of the spectrum, that’s completely contempt with going out and doing a session where he’s nowhere near hitting his best times because he knows it’s part of a bigger picture… And then, there’s athletes in there that are trying to improve themself every session. And he mentiones something like, ‘It’s funny how all of the faster athletes, at the end of the day, are towards Eliud’s side of things, where they don’t necessarily track how they’re comparing each workout, and they just turn up, they get it done, and when the time is right – which is often three to four weeks before a big race – they really try and hit the session then. But when they’re three, four, five months out, it’s not overly important. So, it’s really interesting to hear you discover that on your own, as well, because I think it’s something that a lot of people never figure out.  [Link to full Eliud Kipchoge Training Log in e-book here] Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Totally. And I think that it’s… I mean, it’s such a key part to us, honestly, just enjoying this process. Because, if we’re looking at every single workout as an opportunity to succeed or fail,  it’s, honestly, way too much pressure to put on ourselves, it can lead us to being overtrained, or just stressing us out too much, you know? And it really is just showing up every day and being faithful to the work that day, not having to knock it out of the park every single time, you know, you go out and run. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: For sure. And I guess this is a perfect way to transition to another part of… I liked a lot, which the header was, ‘I don’t… Why I don’t get hung up on mileage anymore’. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: And the first thing it says, ‘Mileage is sexy. What’s not sexy is doing a conservative amount of miles with a lot… At an easy pace.’ So, yeah, it sounds like you’ve learned a lot of lessons on the way here, and I think they’re lessons that a lot of people are still learning right now, so it would be good to hear a little bit more about your opinion on the topic of mileage. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah. You know, I think that… You know, while you’re going through these lessons, you’re like, ‘I wish that I had figured this out, you know, a different way, where I didn’t have to be learning the lesson the hard way.’ Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Yes. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): But, you know, in the grand scheme of things, I spin around it for about… Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: I think that’s how you learn best, through – when they hurt you the most. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Exactly. And, you know, in the grand scheme of things, I’ve been a runner for six years, so I guess it didn’t take me twenty years to learn some of these lessons, and if I can now take the super conservative approach to my running, you know, to the rest of the time I’m running, then, you know, it’s a well-learned lesson. But, yeah, I… You know, I think that I belong to this Instagram world of running, and it’s so easy to get caught up with what everybody else is doing, and… You know, I don’t know if elites post their trainings so much, or really care about what other people are doing, but, you know, in our little world, it can be easy to get caught up in what other people are doing, and then compare what your training is… And, honestly, after I got burned after Boston, you know, I did eighty mile weeks for, I think, six weeks straight. And I was so burned from that, and I took such a conservative approach that I really don’t care what everybody else is doing, because I’m over here, doing pretty much the max I can do without burning myself out. So, there would be no possibility of me doing more, you know? And I think that’s what every person needs to find, just like, what’s the sweet spot for you? And the sweet spot should be: what has you improving, you know, and progressing at a steady rate? What has you feeling good and not completely overloaded? And just stick with that. If somebody else is able to do a hundred mile week, that’s great. That’s amazing for them. But, you know, for me, I’ve had to realise that being able to hit that kind of high mileage takes years. And for you to try to rush the process and at high mileage, and workouts… I mean, it’s not a great recipe for a successful running career. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: No. And one really good quote you have on the same post is, ‘If you do not have the proper base foundation, then too many miles may be counterproductive.’ Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Absolutely. I mean, when I was training for Boston, I was so focused on the mileage I was hitting each week. That was, literally, what my posts were about. Like, ‘I hit eighty miles!’ And all of my workouts during that time were suffering. I wasn’t hitting paces, I… During my tempo runs that are supposed to be, you know, not stopping – so it’s, let’s say, six miles, you’re not supposed to stop one time, I’m having to pause my watch multiple times to take breaks, because I’m, like, totally winded. You know… And I was just so blinded by this, like, idea of mileage, and just this, like, status of mileage, that I was neglecting the huge red flags that were coming up. You know? I’m not hitting any paces, this should tell me that this is not working out for me. But I just thought mileage overruled it. Like, even though I’m not hitting paces, it’s OK – I’m hitting the miles. And, you know, now I’ve learned, you can hit all the miles you want, and you’ll probably not hit that marathon out of the park if you’re not hitting any of your paces in any of your workouts leading up to it. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. That’s really interesting. And I think, again, it’s another lesson that a lot of people take a while to properly learn. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Oh, absolutely. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Well, thanks very much for all of your advice here. I think… One of the last things I’d like to ask you is about an interesting post that you posted about sugar. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Oh, yes. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Yeah. So, you’ve been experimenting, it sounds like, with no or very low sugar. You mentioned that you’ve been using Hammer nutrition gels, which have a little bit of sugar… Yeah, I’d love for you to talk a little bit about this, because I think it’s something that… It’s a great experiment to run, and I’d like to hear about your experience here. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah, absolutely. So, basically, I had gone a year without sugar back in 2013, and, you know, when I was on it, that whole year I, you know, didn’t crave it, and I loved it. And I slowly started introducing it back in, and then, you know… It’s like a weed, you can’t get it out once it’s there. So, in April this year, I decided to, you know, to try to stop sugar, you know, cold. And I did, like, a no sugar April type of challenge, and , you know, the first day or so was a little bit tough, mostly in just figuring out what to eat. Kimberly Because, you know, you go through your day, and you have, like, your routine of what you typically eat. And if you look at your routine, there could be a lot of sugar in just, like, even health foods, you know? So, I was realising that, you know, my proteine bar in the morning had twelve grams of sugar, or my  Kombucha in the afternoon had, like, sixteen grams of sugar… And, you know, it all starts adding up, and so, I just started finding good substitutes for things that I was already eating, that had hidden sugars in them. And I just created a routine that was sugar-free. And, so, after April, I’ve, you know, allowed myself to have treats now and then, but it’s basically… Like, I just have, like, a sugar-free routine, so if something comes up that I really want to eat, it’s not a part of my daily life, but I can enjoy a treat now and then. So, I feel like that’s a better way for me to live. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Sure. And I’m sorry if you just briefly touched on this, but I may have missed it – what initially got you interested in trying this experiment? Was there any particular reason or was it just you wanted to run an experiment with it, or…? Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Yeah, so, I mean… I think that there’s way too much sugar in all of our foods, and, you know, I think the real travesty is that a lot of health companies market things ‘for athletes’, or just as health foods, and they have so much sugar in them. Sugar is just not good for our health. I think the excess consumption of it can just do so much damage to so many different things, and so, because of that, I really wanted just overall health, you know? I’ve taken the last couple of years to really just build myself into the right athlete through just a bunch of different means, and so… Nutrition has been one avenue, and my sugar consumption has been one thing I want to get under control, because, you know, excess sugar feeds inflammation in your body. In order to help your body heal and recover better, it’s better to do, you know, less sugar. And so, like, the most elite athletes aren’t eating all the doughnuts and all the pizza that all of us, you know, Instagram runners are posting about. So, I just wanted to kind of clean up my diet and help my body to handle the pressure of running with just better fuel. So, yeah… I just decided to try to see how going low to no sugar would be, and I started that in April, and I’ve continued it ‘till now. And, you know, my performance has only increased, and never… You know, I had people expressing concern that I need sugar, and I was, like, ‘I don’t think I do.’ And, you know, I still feel great not doing it, and… Like I mentioned in that post, you know, for a race or for a super long run, I’ll take a gel just so that way I’m giving my body what it needs at the moment, but I… You know, I wasn’t trying to address, like, those type of things when I was going no sugar. I’m trying to address the 99% of the time sugar that you’re doing, you know? Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Sure. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Taking gels at a race happens so infrequently that, you know, I can take those and I’m not really that concerned about it. But, I don’t need to be just having brownies for breakfast like I had been having. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Awesome. Well, yeah, thank you very much for joining us today. It’s definitely been a lot of top advice there, and I recommend anyone listening to this, or reading this, to check out Kinberly on Instagram. She’s got a lot of very good posts, with a whole lot of very good advice that I came across a couple of months ago, and I felt like more or less all of it was very much related to a lot of the advice and information that we’ve come across and discovered through our time interviewing and speaking with a lot of the other elite athletes that are featured on this site. So, all the best in your preparation towards the marathon in December. What is your goal? Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): My goal is to run sub three this December. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Another big jump. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): It’s been a… It’s been a goal of mine for a while, and, you know, I wanted to set myself up for it well last year, so I took a huge chunk of time off  last year, and I know that I’m capable of taking another big chunk off this year, and then seeing where I can go from there. Matt Fox @ Sweat Elite: Absolutely. Cool. Well, thanks again, and all the best for the race in December. Kimberly Underwood (@trackclubbabe): Thank you so much, Matt. I really appreciate it.

Boom! What's going on everyone? It's Steve Larsen. This is Sales Funnel radio, and today I'm going to talk to you about how I found my VA's.   What's up, guys? Some people have asked, "Hey what's a VA?"  I'm talking about virtual assistance, I'm talking about how I found my team.   Now what's funny is, I remember sitting at a few events and I would watch these guys who had made 2 Commas through their sales funnels. And there was this interesting correlation that I saw as would watch these guys.   Someone would get up,  and they'd take the picture with the award "Yay!" (mine's over there.) And they'd take the 2 Comma Club picture and they'd be like, "Check it out! This is so cool!" And the next person would get up and they'd do it again. "Woo, what's up!" They'd take the picture; "I finally did it, yeah!" Which is really, really cool.   But I started noticing this very interesting thing about all of them - I can't help it, I'm kind of a pattern junkie.   I started looking and I was like, "What do each one of these people have? Like why is it that that guy can do that?" Right. "Why is it that that guy can do that?"   And I'm not trying to be like weird or whatever, but there's a lot of them that stand up and be like, "I think I can build a funnel better than that guy can in his own category, but he made a million bucks." Right. "Why didn't I?" You know what I mean. It's important to ask those questions.   And one of the things - amidst many of the things - one of the things I started realizing was that all these people had, (that I did not at the time), was a certain mentality. I was lacking in this area.   Growing up, I'll just tell you guys, this isn't to get all sad and sobby or whatever, but I didn't know what I was good at. And growing up, a lot of times entrepreneurs don't. They don't know what they're good at for a little while.   I always tease a few, but it's kind of like the X-men. Like you're still trying to figure out your powers. And I hate the mystic crap that people try to lace around entrepreneurship. It's not mystical, okay, it's business. It's giving value and getting paid for it.   Entrepreneurship is not mystic, you're not like a godsend to humanity to go bless, anyway. You know what I mean? You know the mentality I'm talking about? You see around a lot of times. That irks me a little bit, okay?   But anyway, right, I was young and I was like, "What am I good at? What am I good at?" And as I started getting a little bit older into my teens I started realizing that I had an ability to focus hard and go sell stuff.   I had a very intense fascination with the act of selling. And I started learning more, and there's a lot of self-discovery involved with entrepreneurship, I decided like, "Oh my gosh." I started learning how to learn and I got addicted to it.   I started saying things like, "Well I'm gonna learn that, and I'm gonna learn that, and I'm gonna learn that, I'm gonna learn that. And I'm gonna try and be the best at this, and the best at this, and the best at this, and the best at ..." And I like, "I'm gonna learn it all baby! Bring it on!"   And funnily enough, that's like the exact opposite of what each one of these entrepreneurs onstage were doing. And I was like, "Well what are they doing then? Like how does this actually work?" And I remember I was sitting next to some extremely successful people and one guy he leaned back and he goes, "Yeah. I have no idea how to drive Facebook ads."   And I was like, "Are you serious?"  I didn't know either, but it shocked me that the guy didn't know because that's where I saw most of his stuff. I was like, "Yeah," he's like, "Yeah I just outsource it." I was like, "Huh. That makes sense. You really have never done one ever though? wow. Hmm."   Even I have massively failed at least getting one out the door. And I was like, "What's the issue? Huh."   And then the next guy was like, "Yeah, I didn't write my own book. I want to make sure I actually write my book, I'm writing it right now. But he's like, "Yeah I went through and I just dictate it over the phone or whatever and somebody writes it while I'm speaking."   And I start that way when I'm doing it, a lot of guys do. And then I like to go back again and rewrite again. I'm too much of, I do like the art of writing a little.   But anyway, so one thing that started fascinating me though is the incredible obsession each one of these guys had at having a team. That was it. The thing that they all had that I didn't.   I was focusing on being a Renaissance man. Being a Renaissance man has never made anybody a ton of money, okay? To a certain point, it's great to know how to do a little bit of everything, to a certain point, to a certain degree. Especially when you're brand new and you gotta wear a lot of hats, okay.   But there comes a point when you've gotta stop doing that right. And so the thing that all these guys had that I didn't was a team ...   And when I suddenly realized that, that's when I actually started getting into things like affiliate marketing. I started getting cash in and hiring out tasks that I could have done but should not be doing. Does that make sense?   So this episode's a little bit different - I took one of the lessons - well parts of it - from Affiliate Outrage. It's a free program. This is towards the end of the program.   I wanted to go through and share with you guys my strategies for finding good people for the team - because I've wasted a lot of money on bad talent. There was no talent.   So anyway we're gonna cut over here, I hope you enjoy it.   There are several strategies that I walkthrough for how to find good people, and how to vet them out. Is this an actual employee that you're bringing in? I'll show you how to do that kind of stuff.   Specifically, I want to share with you guys how I found VAs. So these are people that you're not going to hire, but you need to have specific talents for things that you need to be done.   So anyways, I'm excited about this. Let's go cut over there. This might be a little bit of a longer episode, but I think that's okay.   Pay close attention to this. This could save you literally time and money with the wrong person.   So anyways I hope you guys enjoy this, thanks so much, let's cut over now. What's up, guys? I thought it would be cool if we go through and do a lesson today on how to find good people for your team.   A team is something I like to ... it's so funny...   I know there's a lot of people who go back and forth on this like, "You're so stupid for doing it by yourself. Okay, well, if I don't have cash flow I'm not gonna go into debt to get a team, right?   So that's why I started doing affiliate marketing, and then when I had a little bit of cash from the affiliate sales, I would go and get good people.   But then this is super choice cash, I mean it's really protected special cash, so I don't wanna go just blow that.   So how do I find good people? I totally get that, right? Some of you guys might be feeling that like how do I get good people then?   In college, I wasted a lot of my own money on bad VA's - like just tons of 'em - just 'cause I wasn't a coder. Sometimes I needed a website, or I need this, or I need that ...   There was this one time I spent $500 on this guy who said that he could put together a very simple thing. It was garbage. I mean holy crap it was so bad. I wasted money. I wasted money on bad writers, bad image people, bad...   The issue was this. In pretty much every single platform,  you can find a good virtual assistant... Places like upwork.com or freelance.com or Fiverr. Don't try to hire talent on Fiverr.   I like Fiverr for really tiny stuff. Why? Because it's five bucks! Like how good a talent can you get for five bucks?   It was the way that I was  finding people that was not good.   So two things here:   I just wanna share you guys real quick how I find people. It's actually very, well, pretty much the same strategy.   When I need somebody for a specific job that has to do with a creative thing, you know what I mean? Like "Hey, what's up, creative person? I need you to go make this image, or make this video intro, or outro, or make this, this jingle or voice over..." Stuff like that. I will go in, and I will just try and get a someone real fast, pay $50, $100, $200, $300 to go and do this thing.   When it's somebody that I'm wanting to bring onto my team, (whether or not they're a 1099 or they're actually W2) - the process for it is actually very similar. But one's just more intense than the other.   So to get a creative, okay? If you're like "Hey, I'm building this funnel, I wanna find somebody for this, this and this."  Freelancer is the best. Freelancer.com is amazing. If you guys go over to bestmarketingresources.com and scroll down, you'll see my video on how to get good people.   This is a big topic, right? So you'll see my video on how to get good people, and then what I wanna show you...   If you use the link to get a freelancer account, I think they give you $15 credit or something like that.   It's my affiliate link of course, but anyways, you get a little goodie for that.   There's a really good book called... I remember the sub-headline... It's called A Whole New Mind. It's called Why right-brained thinkers will rule the future... or rule the world." It's something like that. It's a fantastic book.   If you think about where we are right now and you're like, "Stephen, what does this have to do with getting a team?" It has a lot to do with it.   Are you farming right now? Unless it's by choice, probably not.  Are you going to a Well every day to get your water? I doubt it, right?   There are so many things in life that are already taken care of for us.   In the past, fortunes were made by supplying the basics of life. Fortunes were made that way, right? Let's get power to you. Let's get internet to you. Let's get water, food, let's get shelter, let's get ...   You're not building your own house most likely, right? There are systems created around the basics of life.   It makes the argument that because of that those are very left-brained ideas. What's logical, "Why I should go and make a system to bring water to my house?" That's a logical thing.   And so it says, because so many of the logical things have been taken care of now, the future is ruled by those who can be right-brained thinkers - those who are the creatives. Those who can sit down and say, "Hey, you know what? I've got this idea."  That's why right-brained thinkers rule the future.   I know that's one of the reasons why I do so well with my stuff is because I try to be creative, right? I wouldn't say I necessarily was at the beginning of my life, but that too can be a learned trait.   In the book, it goes on to say, "You've gotta figure out to be creative." So the problem is that you wanna make sure that you get someone on your team who is creative, right? Who's actually good at what they do, right? I still believe in capitalism baby, woo. I want the best of the best in every area of life.   So how do you find a good virtual assistant? How do you find a good freelancer to come and do this task or that task for you?   Following the capitalist rule... I stopped just going and trying to find somebody who was awesome. Instead, I created contests. This is literally how and why I was able to do what I do. Because while I was working a job, I had these rock stars getting these things done for me - which was paid for by affiliate cash.   So that's why I'm trying to help you guys understand this thing. So one of the things I did though with this is I went, and I grabbed ... funny enough Upwork doesn't even do the same work. They may have added it in the past little bit but, anyway ... freelancer.com is my favorite because they are the only one that allows me to actually create a contest...Freelancer facilitates the contest.   So what I like to do, and I'm like "Man, I need somebody to create images for me." I still do this, guys. I've got a bank of people that I'll go back to because of this process. This is the process. I had somebody complain to me once, "But that sounds like it's gonna take a few days." I'm like, "You're not gonna spend a few days finding somebody who's really good. What's wrong with you? C'mon, right?"   So this is what I do. It's all automated, but freelancer is the only platform I know of that automates and facilitates this contest process.   So what I do is  I try to make sure to overpay a little bit in these contests. So these contests run like this: I don't have to pay you unless you are the contest winner.   So here's what I do. I say, "Hey, what's up everyone?" ...Let's say it's an image and I just need a simple cropping done and put on the background of something else.   Something really, really easy and photoshopped. Something I could probably take my own time to go do, but I'm not an expert at it so why would I do it? So I don't.   So instead, in Freelancer I can put a contest up that says, "Hey, I need this image." I usually do a little screen record. "I need this image placed on this background, with this stuff cut out. It's a contest, and if you win the contest, I'll give you $100." $100? What? That's part of the strategy. You understand?   I make sure to overpay a little bit for it. Why? Because it attracts a butt load of people to me, right? Lots of the freelancer people they start jumping on and jumping on and jumping on and jumping on. They start submitting this image.   I make the contest a week long, and then what I do after that is I make sure that in the contest, I've got my critiques set to public - so that everybody else can see all the other submissions, and everybody can see my critiques.   For the first five days is I am pretty harsh in my critiques. I'm not saying I'm rude, but I'm not mincing words:   "I hate this. I hate that. I love this. Change that. I hate this. This is terrible. No, nothing like this at all. Why did you do this?"   Frankly, I'm very forward about it, and I don't wanna say rude. I'm not rude about it, but I'm forward because I know hundreds of other freelancers are watching my comments. They're watching my critiques.   And what's funny is 'cause it always happens away. I always do it for a week. I  do a week long, and I'm publicly critiquing just once a day, hard, heavy. Public critique, public critique, public critique. I'm like, "Holy crap, this is terrible," or like, "No, whoa, not this at all. Are you kidding?"  I'm super forward, and I'm giving feedback back on the critique.   Well, everybody can see that in the contest. Everyone sees it. Everyone gets notified of it.  The funny part is that on the last two days, the real talent will swoop in. The real talent swoops in, they see the comments, they see my critiques, and then they'll make just this incredible stuff, and I'm like, "Where have you been? I've been trying to find you in all of Freelancer and all of the freelancing world, the entire VA world. Where have you been?"   During the last two days, I'm even more interactive, and I will farm out the top 10 people and keep interacting, keep interacting. "Yes, I hate this. No, I don't like that." Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Back and forth, back and forth, and then it's always within the last 12 hours just the most incredible work comes through, and I only have to pay the top one.   I did this once on a t-shirt and I had ... was it a t-shirt or an image? I can't remember. There was over 200 submissions. 200! It was cool 'cause the last little bit right, the last few hours, the real talent came in, the true designers. Just really gifted people, I could tell. They came in and I only had to pay the top person, but now the next time I needed a t-shirt done, I just went to those top three. I can go back to them afterward and just go straight to them, rather than a contest.   Does that make sense?   I literally filtered out hundreds of people that weren't good. I've done that whenever I need an image. I don't have to keep doing it because I found who they are, right?   That's literally how I created the graphic for Sales Funnel Radio - with me pointing at my shirt. It's through a contest. That's how I came up with that. The t-shirt that I have for "Hey, Steve." That was a contest.   A game, an actual coder. I found ... that actually was a "Help with freelancer" themselves. It's like an extra $10, and they helped me find out a good person. I love freelancer for that reason.   So number one, the biggest way to create and grow a team is you gotta understand, I use contests. I use 'em heavily. Not just when I need a freelancer position. I actually use it when I am hiring out for team members as well.   So when I found my incredible Facebook traffic driver, and you guys know that story if you're this far in the training. You guys know that story of me hiring Sema. You guys have learned it from Sema. It was literally a contest, and she won.   Then after that, I was like, "Holy crap, you're Dan Henry's traffic guy, too." That's crazy. She's very, very talented, but I found her because of contests.   I don't give a crap about resumes. It's what peaks my interest initially, but who I actually decide to have a long-term relationship with, it's based on contests. Who makes it rain? Who can make it happen? I want those kinds of people, and so I make sure I get people who can do that.   I use contests regardless of whether it's on the freelancer platform or not. Usually, I try and use though because there's great talent on there. You just gotta find 'em. Then in the future, you don't have to do it again.   A few caveats with this whole thing:   In college, I was taught to hire for the sake of building a business before creating revenue. That's backward. That's dumb. Don't do that. In my honest opinion, that is some seriously terrible advice. College taught me some great things. That was not one of them.   If you guys have ever watched my podcast, I've talked about the beginning of this year what really happened to me. There was like $200 grand almost that came in, just bam, real fast, but my business structure wasn't there to support the revenue coming in.   I had never considered that a funnel was not a business until like two or three years ago. I was like, "Yeah, well I built the funnel, so therefore I got the revenue," that's it. Like, "No, no, no, you still need a business to support the revenue." Support, itself. Fulfillment. Maybe you gotta get out there and actually do shipping stuff.   Maybe it's high ticket - like you're gonna fly out to them. What are the processes? If I handle every single customer complaint different. If I handle every single Dream 100 package totally different... I'm not saying you shouldn't customize.   If I handle every single purchase differently. If I handle every single aspect of every single thing I do, every time different. I don't have a business. I am the business. Does that make sense?   So I can have a funnel, but if there are no systems, there's no business. And so that's exactly what I'm trying to say here.   So I don't care about this whole like go build a team thing. Don't do it until you have freaking revenue. Otherwise, you're gonna go into debt. That's why they teach "Go get a loan, go get business loans. Go build a proposal to get a loan." Why? What does that money do? That was asked: "What are you gonna do with this money?"   The scary thing is when you find out that money that you've taken on is to build a business structure only. That's freaking scary because it means that you literally have no proof of concept. There's no proof of concept. There's nothing.   So what I'm trying to say is you guys gotta understand, don't go build teams for the sake of people saying you need one. Hire when it hurts. That's my whole thing. I hire when it hurts. Which means I gotta run hard. I'm totally fine putting a little sweat equity - which I'm totally known for doing. I'm cool with that.   I'm not telling you not to get help. I'm not telling you that you should be the one to do all the aspects inside of your company - but until you get revenue, man, I would not go out and hire people. I mean, for real, don't go hire people.   When it comes to team things though as far as like or creatives, I'm not gonna go take the time to learn some aspects of Photoshop that I know some other guy could just ... I could pay him $50 for and just have him do it, right? You see what I'm saying? Right.   You know Russell does all his doodle drawings? I went, and I found this awesome doodle drawing guy on freelancer to do some very similar things for a workbook I was putting out. It was a huge process to find him, but when I found him... I go back to him all the time now. He's awesome. He's super cool, and he does all my doodles for me now.   Anyways, I want you to know when it comes to creatives or when it comes to anything,  just 'cause I can do something...   There are several schools of thought with this. Yes, the business should not all be you eventually. It's fine if it is for a while -  in my opinion. If you're just standing up, you're just barely getting revenue coming in - I don't know why you'd ever go hire somebody? All your revenue should be back into putting into getting more sales, right? So eventually don't be the business. Don't be the business. Don't be the only one running the business. Get a team, get a system running. Totally, 100% love it.   In contrast to that,  I believe that you should hire when it hurts. That's something that Russell always told me when I was there with him. He said, "Hire when it hurts, hire when it hurts, hire when it hurts." Meaning if you can handle it, keep doing it.   A lot of companies died because they hire too quickly. Seriously, that's one of the major reasons why companies die quick is because they hire too fast.   To caveat that again with a third point,  just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should be doing it.   As I said, I'm not gonna go learn crazy things in Photoshop just to pull off this one image.  I'm just gonna go hire a dude. You know what I mean?   What I'm trying to help you guys understand, is that the trick is seeing what task needs to get done and asking yourself, "Is this a task that I can do?" Or "Is it a task I should do?" You know what I mean? You're trying to figure out what scenario to go for. "Am I just gonna pay $50 for someone to get it done for me in the next 24 hours, or should I just do it?"   Guys, entrepreneurs wear a lot of hats at the beginning, that's totally fine. It's the reason you love your company so much. It's the reason I love my company so much. It's the reason I'm very babyish of it. I have given much family time to the business instead of my family. You know what I mean? Because I'm wearing a lot of hats.   As things have grown, I've found other places,  people, and systems that take over aspects of it for me. But you gotta ask yourself....   The fourth point to think about is, "Is this a revenue-generating activity?" If it is, you should do it. If it's not, don't do it. Is the image you need to go get created, is there potential for it to bring revenue in? If the answer is yes, okay that's fine. But it doesn't mean you should do it. Maybe you could just go pay someone $50 to get it done, or run a contest and find out who that person is? You understand what I'm saying? I'm trying to teach several different schools of thought...   I run my entire process of this thing, I call  Red Dot, Green Dot. I think entrepreneurs are really good at writing massive task lists, and that's cool. But the problem is that bogs you down, it stresses you out, and overloads you. Some things should be getting done, you never get done because they're important, but not that important. You know what I mean?   So I like to list out all the things I need to go do, and then I'll do a red dot, green dot. There are several planning systems that I use. This is the one I really a lot.   I just list out all the stuff and be like, "Oh, green dot. That's the one that makes me revenue, sweet." If it's a big green dot, I do it during the parts of the day that I know I'm most fresh. Usually, for me, that's like 7 am to 1pm.   I do the small green dots in the evening or the afternoon. They're still revenue generating - just not as big, right? A big green dot, that's like script writing, certain aspects of funnel building, or doing sales videos where I need to be fresh, I need to be awesome, I need to be hopping on. Does that make sense?   A red dot is something that needs to get done, but it's literally a cost on the business. I should never be doing those roles. An easy way to do it, and the way I did it for quite a while, was a red dot, green dot. Is it a green dot or a small green dot? What's the red dot? If it's a red dot, don't even worry about it. Most of the time, you really don't need to worry about those things. Unless it's like, set up an LLC or something that's truly foundational, but I guess technically that's revenue generating, that's why you're doing it.   So I hope that helps. I hope that helps with the whole team building thing. I just wanted to do a lesson real quick on how to actually find good virtual assistants, on how to find them and how to source things out.   I'll tell you, I just wanna finish with this real quick. I'll tell ya something that Dana Derricks told me:   He and I were chatting on Voxer one day, and he said one thing that's really helped me out is... At the beginning you're probably the one doing support, that's fine. Especially when you're wearing a lot of hats. After a while, you don't wanna be doing that. It's not revenue generating, but you may not have the revenue to get rid of it and buy back your time. You know what I mean? So just keep going on it, that's totally fine.   ....But one thing Dana told me, that I thought it was really cool, he said, "I always make sure whenever I'm about to go do a process, that I do it the hardest, most arduous way possible. Because when I do that, I make sure to document what I'm doing.  Then I literally have the system that I need to hire someone to do." He's like, "I make sure I do it the hardest way."   It's completely 180˚ of how most people react to pain or any kind of discomfort or growth. Like, "I don't wanna do the hardest way! Are you kidding me? Don't make me do it the hardest way." But he's the exact opposite, man.   He's like,  "Do the exact opposite, do something the hardest way the first time, do it a few times to document your system, document the process and now you have the system."  You'll know exactly what to hand off to somebody to buy back your time and replace you. I thought that was very, very key and really cool that he said that.   Anyways, guys, hopefully, that's helpful for ya. I just wanted to tell you a little bit about that.   So as you start to grow and start to get cash coming in. Honestly, strategically, what I would do, start thinking about what it is you really wanna go sell?   Affiliate products are incredible. A lot of people make a fortune just selling other people's products. It is a lot more fulfilling - both to your wallet, but also to you - to have your own product.   So as you're kinda beginning to stockpile cash, you're trying to figure out what you wanna go sell or whatever, it's just, it's important to think about that kinda stuff.   I've never seen a 2 Comma Club winner do it on their own - EVER! They might be the solopreneur, but they got a team. They at least got an assistant, a support guy, a high ticket seller, you know? Stuff like that. A fulfillment guy. You know what I mean? A sales guy. Does that make sense?   They're the ones still running it, but they got the team below them doing all the dirty work making sure the stuff gets done so they can keep selling. You know what I mean? I've never seen a 2 Comma Club winner EVER get it solely on their own. Where they're doing every function of the business, Yeah, right, Yeah right! That doesn't happen.   So just know as you start to get cash in...   I know a lot of you guys may not have money right now. That's totally fine, but as you start to get cash coming in, start thinking, "Where do I wanna drive the ship? Where do I wanna go? How do I wanna make this happen?"   And as you do that, hire smartly. Hire slow. Hire very slow. Be very careful of who you're bringing in. Be very careful what they do. Are you actually hiring a skill or just a heartbeat? Are you hiring a skill or just a heartbeat?   And with those few things in mind, use red dot, green dot,  so that you know you what you should be doing. Can someone else be doing it? Do you have the revenue to do it? Maybe you don't. Go sell something else then, right?   Anyway, super cool guys. And hopefully, this is a helpful lesson for you. I said that was the last thing, but this is the last thing here.   When Russell was getting Tony Robbins to speak at Funnel Hacking Live. He's not cheap, okay? I'm legally not allowed to tell you how much it was, but it was an absolute crap ton amount of money. It was a huge amount of money.   I know that Russell follows a principle called, "The question is not how do I do this? It's who already knows how to do it?" It's not what? it's who? It's not how? It's who. "Who knows how to do what I need?"   And what was interesting is instead of going like, *SHOCK* "Tony, you want that much money? What?" And freaking out about it, he said, "Okay, how can I afford that?" He could've paid out of his own pocket, but that's not the point. He's not gonna use his own cash. Instead, he asked, "How can the business pay for it?" So he added a few extra things to the event to pay for the thing he most wanted.   There was a guy who taught me once. He's the man actually. He's Don Hobbs. I was on a call with him, and he said, "Stephen, the question you need to start asking yourself as you're leaving ClickFunnels - this is a little bit after I had left. He said the thing you need to start asking yourself, "How can I hire people that I can't afford?"   When you can hire people that you can't afford it means that your vision of what you're trying to take down is big enough, but also realistic enough that it's attracting actual talent.   If you look at the list of people that I have had on this course so far for you guys, I could not pay all their fees together in a lump sum - there's no way, there's no way. I sold them on coming to do this because of the vision, and because of what I'm actually trying to get done.   When you actually go and start grabbing people in, when it's actual growth time, you need to make sure that you're hire slow, and you're hiring people that you actually cannot afford. Because when you do it that way, you're actually gonna be protecting your vision. You're gonna be hiring people who actually invested in what you're doing. What are they doing in the nighttime hours? What are they doing in the evening hours? What are they doing, right?   Man, I'm still building ClickFunnels dream even though I don't work there. I'm 100% invested in that. I know I am, right? I'm 100% invested in the products that I sell because I change people's lives. I know I am. And when I find people that are aligned like that, it's a huge deal.   So I make sure I go, and I grab... like that's why we hire slow. And you try and find people based off of talent, not how much they're gonna say like, "Oh, well, I'm this much money." Well if the vision is big enough, it's cool enough, and it not just like far-fetched, then you're gonna have a great time because you're gonna start attracting amazing talent to you that scratches your back and theirs. It might mean a partnership. It might mean that you just give them some revenue.   I hate it when somebody approaches me and says, "Hey, I got a great opportunity for ya, Stephen." You think I need another one? I got plenty. I'm trying to manage the opportunities I'm finding on my own. I don't need any more opportunities.   When someone walks up, they go, "Stephen, I got this great idea. Dude, here's the idea.  If you go build it, I'll give you like 50%!" And I'm like, "Huh. You know what's fascinating? I could just go do that on my own and keep 100% of it." Right? Ideas are nothing, guys. Ideas are not assets. "I got an idea." So? It's worth nothing. I don't even care what the idea is. Right?   That's why I was laughing at Shark Tank. They're like, "Well, I haven't actually sold anything yet." Then you have nothing. Even if you're holding the freaking product. You have nothing. Ideas are nothing. They're nothing. There's no value attached to an idea. Show me an idea that was sold for a whole bunch of money without some asset attached to it? It doesn't happen.   So when you're going out, and you start getting actual team people to start joining you, you need to make sure that what you're actually offering to somebody to come and join your thing, has everything to do with selling 'em on a vision.   Make sure that you've got assets. Are you gonna sell something? Ideas are nothing. So make sure, anyway ...   There's a podcast episode, I ranted about this a while ago.  I think it's like 100 episodes ago, but it just makes me laugh. So anyway, rant over. Rant's done.   But I just want you to know how I find VA's. How I find freelancers. How I find people to join my team. That's how I find 1099 versus W2 - it's because I'm trying to make sure that it's aligned with my vision, that they're people that will add constantly to the vision.   Guys, I worked way more than nine to five for Russell. Holy freaking crap, right? I'm totally cool with that. No contest. He spent zero time indoctrinating me into the culture of ClickFunnels. No time. I hit the ground running. No training. Tweaking? Sure. Stuff that he wanted me to change? Absolutely. But I was there to run. I produced day one.   So when it comes down to actually hiring people, there's no better way to do that than hiring from your own audience - 'cause they're sold on the vision, they know who you are.   If you're like, "Man I don't have an audience yet." That's totally fine. That's exactly my point. Then don't hire someone (like an actual W2) for a while, that's totally fine.   Hopefully, this hasn't felt like it's been all over the place! There's a lot of nuggets that I dropped.   I'm trying to help you see that when it comes to it, the sales funnel, the sales cycles are different from a business, and a business cycle. You're gonna be the one most likely doing both for a little while, and that's okay. Eventually, you shouldn't be doing both. You need to hire when it hurts. That's probably gonna be a little uncomfortable in the beginning. It is for everybody. That's okay.   Somebody told me this great quote: "It'll take longer than you think, but not as long as you fear."   So when you're jumping out you're gonna feel alone. You are alone. No one's around you. That's okay. But when you start to hire, man, it is methodical. It is not easy to work for you. It's not. It shouldn't be. You shouldn't just take anybody on. That's why I went ... that's why I still go the VA route forever -because it works.  I got my content team. None of them are W2's. They don't need to be. I still pay 'em a lot of money. But I sold them on the vision. They get crap done and problems solved I didn't even know were problems.   They're sold on the vision. They understand where I'm going. I'm trying to be a voice of clarity against a lot of gurus that are out there because I've actually done a lot of it. It's not just theory, you know what I mean?   Anyway, and when I find people who are not just willing to accept but also wanna protect and grow the same vision, it's like, "What do you want? Yes, come with me. What is it that motivates you? Okay, Tony Robbins, you want that much money? Okay,  I'm not gonna say no. Instead, let me figure out how to pay for that."   So this might feel like a little bit of rant, and maybe it is a bit, but I want you to understand when it comes down to the hiring thing, I'm very opinionated on this topic - because I wasted a lot of money for a lot of years until I made it hard to join my team -whether it was a $50 image or a big thing.   Guys, thanks so much. Hopefully, it's been helpful to ya. Again, please reach out. We got just a few more lessons that I wanna drop out to you as far as making it all work for you as an affiliate  - to make you money - and then we'll be done.   If you got value out of this, promote my stuff. This is my free stuff. You can imagine how good the paid stuff is. The products are good. I'll take care of your customers. I'll take care of any traffic you send over to me.  I really appreciate it. Guys, thanks so much and I'll talk to you later. See ya later, see ya in the next lesson. Bye.

It is true that we like to continue with bad habits rather than learn new ones. Our brains are programmed so that we can drive a car without thinking..really? Yes. In this episode I talk about mindset, how you can learn new habits to improve your life and business, what ever it is that you want to do. Breaking the old beliefs and habits is hard but it is doable. Stay tuned as I go through how I did a break through a habit...or did I ? You can follow me on the following social media channels. NORDIC MUM INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/nordicmumpodcast/ NORDIC MUM FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/NordicMumSusanna NORDIC MUM PINTEREST www.pinterest.com.au/NordicMumPodcast

The Head Football Coach of Knox College Damon Tomeo is joined by Scott Cramer exploring ways to improve leadership skills. Some thoughts from the podcast: * Choosing what you want most over what you want right now * Jocko Willink, Discipline Equals Freedom “There is no easy way. There must be discipline.” * Win the day by beating the snooze button * Carey Nieuwhof “Discipline starts with I” * You are going to be uncomfortable, question is, what would you be uncomfortable for * Prioritize, have patience and believe you can do it. It starts now! * Work to be the best version of you, those around you deserve/need it Special thanks to all those that make this podcast possible. Coach Damon Tomeo dltomeo@knox.edu Twitter @CoachTomeo Scott Cramer scottacramer@icloud.com Twitter @ScottaCramer

Bryant Leong owns the popular barber shop, Stay Traditional Barber Shop, in Brunei. He plays in the pop-punk band Secret Signal. Bryant and I discuss how music and tattoo culture fits into the broader culture in Brunei. Check out Bryant: www.instagram.com/secretsignalbn www.instagram.com/staytraditional.bn https://www.facebook.com/staytraditionalbarberandshop The song played in this episode is: Secret Signal - If It Wasn't For You (You & I) You can support this podcast on Patreon: www.patreon.com/thevoyagesoftimvetter

I You come into the world in the last days, and give man the way to eternal life. You endure the pain of rejection, and face adversity alongside man. You support them when they're weak. You provide for them when they are lacking. You give the word of life, You painfully worry Your heart to pieces. Days of torment go on for years. You pour out Your love to win man's heart. Your strict words are lined with deep affection. You test and refine, You judge and purify. To save mankind, You work in many ways. I experience Your judgment, and my corruption is washed away. I experience Your love, and fall on my face before You, and give my heart to You. II I believed in You for many years, but I never really knew You. My thoughts full of imaginings and conceptions. I once demanded Your grace but never sincerely loved You. Having gone through the judgment, through the purification, having experienced smiting and breaking of Your words, my life disposition has changed. Your strict words are lined with deep affection. You test and refine, You judge and purify. To save mankind, You work in many ways. I experience Your judgment, and my corruption is washed away. I experience Your love, and fall on my face before You, and give my heart to You. III I now know Your righteousness and holiness. I see Your loveliness, and my heart is all Yours. I give my life to You and submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements. I devote my life to You without regret and without complaint. Your strict words are lined with deep affection. You test and refine, You judge and purify. To save mankind, You work in many ways. I experience Your judgment, and my corruption is washed away. I experience Your love, and fall on my face before You, and give my heart to You. Face down, flat on the ground, I submit my heart to You. from Follow the Lamb and Sing New Song

Who is the adult? Evan or I? You decide! Tweet us @TheSarahFader and/or @EvanJm02.

I You asked how long I'd follow You; I said I'd give my youth and accompany You. A murmur came from the depths of my heart, shook the earth and set the mountains swaying. I swore my oaths with tear-stained cheeks, but did not know my own hypocrisy. With time, great changes dilute those feelings, and the oaths I swore to You became lies. Finally I understand the little I have given. Trying to repay You is only empty words. Waking from my dream, I worry for myself. How to recover the lost salvation? Waking from my dream, I worry for myself. How to recover the lost salvation? II When we met, I rebelled against You. I don't want to remember those old scenes. My dedication without loyalty has brought even greater pain to You. In my youth, You worked so hard for me, but without any gratitude repaid. Those years slipped by me and I gained little. Who can I tell of the remorse within? Finally I understand the little I have given. Trying to repay You is only empty words. Waking from my dream, I worry for myself. How to recover the lost salvation? Waking from my dream, I worry for myself. How to recover the lost salvation? III Rushing here, rushing there, not able to connect with Your heart. We once met by chance, but I didn't recognize You, leaving me with even more regret. from Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs

Shape of You给人带来的感觉，莫过于热恋中的那种喜悦。两个人从相识到谈天说地，一切都是那么的浪漫与美好。Shape of You是英国流行男歌手艾德·希兰演唱的一首流行歌曲，该歌曲作为推广专辑的首支单曲，于2017年1月6日通过大西洋唱片发行。也是美国公告牌百强单曲榜上的首支冠军单曲。黄老板也凭借这首歌拿下了第六十届格莱美的最佳流行歌手等奖项。今天我们就来学习这首歌的第一部分。  The club isn't the best place to find alover这俱乐部不是个能找到安慰的地方club isn't连读 isn't t省音 best t省音 find a 连读 So the bar is where I go所以我们去往酒吧bar is ,where I连读 You come over and start up a conversation with just me这时你走过来开始和我搭讪you弱唱 come over连读 start up a连读 just t省音start up:启动、发动And trust me I'll give it a chance now你知道我会予以回答and d省音 trust t省音 give it连读 it t省音Take my hand, stop, Put Van The Man on the jukebox牵起我手 缓缓停下 在点唱机里放起Van The Mantake k省音 hand d省音 stop p省音 put t省音 man on连读Van the Man: Van Morrison,爱尔兰的创作型全能艺人jukebox n. 自动唱机And then we start to dance, and now I'm singing like在歌声中我们慢慢起舞 我轻轻哼着and d省音 start t省音Girl, you know I want your love女孩儿 你知道我想得到你的爱want your连读Your love was handmade for somebody like me你的爱也只为像我这样的人量身存在handmade d省音 like k省音 handmade adj. 手工做的Come on now, follow my lead来吧 就跟着我come on连读 lead d省音I may be crazy, don't mind me, say我可能会失去理智 别太在意 就开口对我说don't t mind d省音Boy, let's not talk too much噢男孩儿 别说太多话not t省音Grab on my waist and put that body on me就搂着我的腰 用身体靠近我grab on连读 waist t省音wais and连读 and d省音 putt that t 省音 body on连读Come on now, follow my lead来吧 就跟着我come on连读 lead d省音Come—come on now, follow my lead就现在 跟着我来come on连读 lead d省音I'm in love with the shape of you我深陷在以你名状的爱里I'm in连读 with th省音 shape of 连读be in love with sth.: 爱上We push and pull like a magnet do如磁铁相吸相斥却互不分离push and连读 and d省音 like a连读 magnet g t省音magnet n. 磁铁；磁石；磁体Although my heart is falling too我的心也已随你沦陷heart is连读I'm in love with your body你的身体亦让我无比眷恋I'm in连读 Last night you were in my room昨晚你在我房间过夜last t省音 night you连读And now my bed sheets smell like you今晨床单上你的香气流连and d省音 bed d省音 sheets ts省音

Alan Hawkshaw, Terrestrial Journey, Terrestrial Journey Design, Fashion & Seduction, Fashion & Seduction / Premonition Streetlife, Act On Instinct (Hot Swedish Mix), Factory Dance Robotron »4«, Cyborg 203, Cyborg 203 / Electro-? Boy Dude Feat. Zackey Force Funk, Money Weighs A Ton, Modern Funk Fest 7" / Digital Osmonds, I,I,I (Todd Terje Edit), I, I, I / You're Mine Dogs Of War, Le Stress, Space Conqueror / Le Stress Roots, Sheriff's Horse, French Disco Boogie Sounds Vol. 2 (1978-1985) Companion, There's A Way, Companion Michèle Essling, Jezebel, Jezebel / Pardonner C'Est Facile Amadeo, Moving Like A Superstar, Moving Like A Superstar Yvon Rioland & Jean-Marie Hauser, Kings Way, Discoritmo Clio, Feel The Fear, Faces Nadia Cassini, I Like Boys, Get Ready Chopper, It's All Over, It's All Over Loopside, File Of Love (Fast Version), File Of Love Cosmic, Cosmic Sprint, Cosmic LP Philippe Besombes, Flipper, La Guerre Des Animaux "Animal's War" Astral Sounds, Aerospace, Teletext Don Harper, Fiddle Chop, Homo Electronicus Isolation Ward, Lamina Christus, Lamina Christus Plaza Hotel, Bewegliche Ziele, Bewegliche Ziele Electric Guitars, Language Problems, Language Problems Gee Mr Tracy!, You Make My House Shine, You Make My House Shine! Pankow, Girls & Boys, Freiheit Fuer Die Sklaven Yello, Pumping Velvet (Extended Dance Version), Pumping Velvet / No More Words / Lost Again / Bostich Severed Heads, All Saints Day, Rotund For Success Tony Palkovic, True To Yourself, Born With A Desire Open Air, Leavin' My Place, Open Air

The divorce and separation process can cause so much confusion and emotional stress not only to the couples going through divorce but for the kids as well. No matter how old the kids are, they will still have to adjust and adapt as they go through transitions. In this interview, Zoe Olson shares the role of counseling for both kids and adults during the separation process. Zoe Olson, MA, RCC is a Registered Clinical Counselor, wife and mama to two little ones. She works in private practice  in Salmon Arm, BC and believes that families - no matter their shape or size, thrive when supported. At times a family system's changing nature and stress of life require support of a mental health professional and she loves working with clients to feel like they are thriving again. Your host, Christina Vinters, is a nationally designated Chartered Mediator on a mission to inspire and facilitate healthy family transitions. She is an “ex” Divorce Lawyer (Non-Practicing Member of the Bar), Author of Pathways to Amicable Divorce, and the  DIY Divorce Manual, and Peacemaking Business Consultant. Guest Links Website:  http://www.edenclinicalcounselling.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/edenclinicalcounselling/ Contact Number: 250-463-3760 Modern Separations Links: Website: https://www.modernseparations.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modernseparations Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcewell Twitter: https://twitter.com/cvinters LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cvinters/ Christina: Hi everyone! Today I'm talking to Zoe Olson. Zoe is a registered clinical counselor. She works in private practice working with families going through transitions such as separation. In our conversation, she talks about warning signs to look out for, for both adults and kids. She dispels some myths about counseling and explains what the process might look like for you. Check out this interview for some of the benefits to both adults and children of getting some counseling during the process of separation. Here we go.  Christina: Welcome, Zoe! Thanks a lot for talking to me today.  Zoe:  Thank you so much for having me!  Christina:  Well, I'm excited to have you share a little bit about yourself, and how you got into working with people experiencing separation.  Zoe:  OK, so I'm a registered clinical counselor, and I work with families and individual people who are going through a number of concerns. But I often end up working with separating couples when one member of the partnership ends up coming to a place of contemplation of having a separation. So this person is experiencing a lot of distress and just not sure of next steps and kind of where to go with the relationship. So it kind of naturally just takes its course and some people end up deciding to have a separation and some don't. But it usually starts with one member of that partnership.  Christina:  OK. And do you also work with children?  Zoe:  I do. Yeah. So I work with children who are about age 10 and up so I definitely work with more youth than middle teeny ones. But I do some parenting support work as well so parents will often come through a separation and say, 'Hey, my child is having a hard time. I'm just noticing some big changes in their life and... so can you support me with that?' And so I would work with the parents in supporting that child to the transition of separating and perhaps going through divorce.  Christina:  Oh, great. Are there any tips that you can share for how parents can think about helping their children with all of those new emotions that are probably coming up for them around the separation?  Zoe:  Yeah, so... I think that biggest guideline for parents is to remember that for your child, no matter how old they are, it's a loss. And families end up finding a new balance after a separation and divorce for sure. But for that child it's a really huge change that they will have to adjust to, and so to be really aware of how you present that change to your child. So just really being appropriate around what's discussed around the children and making sure that any negative comments about the other parent are gonna kept to yourself or to your grown-up support people and really creating space for that child to grieve in any way they need to, whether that's through talking, or for little ones sometimes it comes out in some interesting behaviors that are not as fun. And just really try to create much stability as you can and continuing on with routine as you can.  Christina:  It brings to mind the question of 'Is it ever appropriate to talk to children?' I'm thinking you know, older teenagers, maybe even children in their twenties. Any kind of details about sort of the why behind the separation. I've had some clients come in very distressed that the other parent has shared with a teenager or a young adult some details that you know, of course, didn't provide the whole story. Is that ever a healthy thing?  Zoe:  Oh, that's a good question. I'm just trying to think how best to answer that. Because it's very family dependent. But kind of involving a child in a grown-up issue... you know in psychology we call that parentification. And for a youth... if that youth is still living within the family home or maybe, part-time with one parent and part-time with another parent, then I think it's, in that case, it would likely not be appropriate. And kids and youth and adults to it. Adults have more resources to cope with it. They're just very aligned to both parents regardless of the separation scenario. And so to really just kind of see a teen as a child emotionally rather than someone who's ready to hear all of those details. But I know one thing I hear from parents a lot is 'Well, why wouldn't I? You know they're grown up, they're 17.. or they're 15.' And although they may look like an adult, they still need that guidance from both parents and it really puts kids or youth in a bind of who to align with and who to get support with; and their sense of safety, for their emotional well-being can be impacted by that. And then as far as young adults... yeah there could be cases where that may be appropriate and I always think of scenarios with abuse and stuff. And you know I think I would encourage families to speak to that adult together and see if you can share both sides of the story together and have it be, you know a family conversation rather than a one-parent-versus-the-other.  Christina:  Because that... the parent who feels that it's not appropriate to bring the child into it is in a position of well, 'either I tell my side of the story, or they only have the other side of the story,' so that can be tricky. OK, but stepping back a bit... So what are some of the benefits that you would say somebody going through that really overwhelming experience in separation and trying to figure out you know, not only their emotional details, their legal details – how are they gonna handle parenting arrangements; what are the benefits that you see of, including a counselling piece at that time?  Zoe:  For a parent or you know, one of the adults in a partnership, I see counseling as a really important piece. If the person feels like they're struggling to cope at all in that you know, if you're parenting, it gives you that outlet to be able to express whatever you're going through in a safe place – a confidential space – that's you know, healthy and not to their children. You're not venting anything to the children but it's very separate. And then having that support to cope, and as healthy away as possible. And I think really just getting to that sort of evaluation of 'OK, what's happening to me in this separation?' You know it's not uncommon for people to go through an episode of depression or experience anxiety. You know people who have been through an abusive relationship, there's also some pieces that can be healed through the counseling process with that or people who have a trauma history and really just having support to be able to close that chapter and move forward in some sort of a new way.  Christina:  Are there particular challenges or issues that you see come up fairly frequently?  Zoe:  Yeah. Something that's been coming up... I've been working privately for three years, and kind of working in mental health for the past nine. And a big piece that comes up a lot is parental alienation. So that's sort of you know... when a family system kind of separates and the parents are no longer together and then that's kind of this abusive pattern where one parent tries to align the children against the other parent. Then that's something that comes up quite a bit and it's you know, it's definitely challenging to work with and support people through. But in that case, you know if any of our listeners are feeling like that maybe a part of their separation or divorce story then I think some counseling support through that, that would absolutely be a great idea.  Christina:  And so that can arise from what we were just talking about before, whereas one parent might be sharing details that are really inappropriate and one-sided. And then the child aligns their emotions with them.  Zoe:  Absolutely. Yeah, and it goes you know... it's on a spectrum for sure but it's... I think definitely go to the end of 'Your dad's not safe. He's not... He's crazy. He did this to us. He's not a good person...' And it's really putting those seeds of the other parent is a terrible being into that child and that just really ends up with a child who is confused. Because they thought his person was safe in their life, and it can really interrupt that attachment with the other parent.  Christina:  And cause the stress within the child. Because both mom and dad are part of the child. 'So if mom is bad, maybe I am bad, too.'  Zoe:  Absolutely. Yeah, and kids internalize the messages that they hear around them. They're very egocentric. Their brains are wired to be you know, self-focused and they don't have the ability to see a whole scenario in a really objective way. And so they perceive their environment as a fault of their own. So that's absolutely right. They will often blame themselves for what is happening within the family.  Christina:  OK so if you see the child being one-sided that that's one red flag, are there some other warning signs that people can look out for? Or if they see something happening that that should trigger them to think 'Maybe I should consider counseling?'  Zoe:  So with children, you wanna look for any sort of major behavioral change. It's different kind of, depending on the developmental age. But you know, it you're thinking of a really small child, some maybe a kiddo who's 2 or 3. Maybe they were potty trained and then after the separation process then you notice that they're having lots of pee accidents and the potty training has slipped. So then you know, that's a good little note that maybe your child is struggling with the change a bit. Or sleep disturbances or something that come up quite a bit. For older kids and teens, that could be mood differences. So things like depression, or all of a sudden you know, spending all of their time with peers or shutting out one parent, and maybe not communicating as much. But really just going with your gut and you know, I think every parent knows their kid. And so if you're noticing a big shift in them just really kind of evaluate in that and wondering if counseling could be a good piece for them.  Christina:  Yeah. You just made me think that moodiness with teenagers, that might be easy to slip under the rug and figure, well it's just you now, oh my gosh, the terrible teenage years.  Zoe:  Right. Yeah, and all those hormones and stuff. And you know, I think with teens especially, it's important how those conversations and be really open with them and using your judgment about the details to share. By just saying 'How this has affected you? You know, or a family is taking a different shape, how are you doing with that? Is there anything I can do that will help you through this transition?' And have those conversations with them and involve them as much as you can.  Christina:  Yeah. I think having an open communication is really key. And what about for adults? So a lot of adults may never have considered counseling for themselves. But if they find themselves going through a hard time during a separation, what are some things they should be aware of within their own experience that might be an indicator they should seek out a counselor?  Zoe:  Yeah, good question. A really good kind of frame to go on is your ability to cope day to day. So you know, I often get a call for someone to begin the counseling process when they feel like all of their resources is to cope with life as it is, heavily strapped. So that could mean that you know, you're experiencing some depressive symptoms or anxiety symptoms in grief and loss – it's all a huge change.  But things like no longer sleeping as well, or sleeping too much, a very low mood, appetite changes, just noticing irritability. Yeah, lots of those mood changes or withdrawing from others. Anything that kinda makes you wonder that you're having a hard time coming and going from day to day and keeping up with the expectations of life.  Christina:  OK, and so if somebody decides that they would like to try some counseling, what does that experience actually look like and involve? I know a lot of people don't wanna know the whole going back to what happened in their childhood. So if these types of counseling around a specific issue, what could people expect?  Zoe:  OK. Well, I won't make people lay down on a couch. So that's a bit. And it's really kind of goal-dependent. So I typically will try and be as client-centered as I can, so that means that I'm really you know, being attuned with the client in listening to what their main concerns are and what their goals are. And so if that goal is something like 'I would like to get through this separation without withdrawing from my friends and family', then we're going to look at a direct sort of actions that can be taken to that. If someone comes and says, 'You know, I experienced abuse as a child... I experienced abuse within this partnership and I think that maybe a big part of why this relationship has broken down and I want to heal that', then it would be a more long-term thing and we would just act a bit more. But I think it's important for people to know that you know, for going back into childhood stuff, it's not to dwell on it and it's not to just drudge it all up and have you go home really raw. As with the purpose of creating meaning for today and how it's affected you as a functioning adult. And then kind of healing that moving forward.  Christina:  If there hasn't been anything particularly traumatic, in addition to the dissolution of the family which of course is traumatic in itself. But if you're looking at that type of situation, is there a number of appointments you might recommend that people start with?  Zoe:  Probably you know, at least an intake process where we get a sense of what's happening. And then two to three more sessions after that. And then that type of scenario, we typically look at you know, what are the resources that are supporting you at this current time. So whether that's strength of coping or the other support people that you have in your life like friends and family. So really just creating that support plan, so things continue to go well, mental health-wise for that person. And that's a good point. It doesn't always have to be really long term thing to come to counseling. It can be just you know, an appointment or two, or really dependent on what your needs are.  Christina:  So I'm wondering if you can share some of those resources that you're talking about. And maybe just some general tips for self-care that people can consider implementing.  Zoe:  Within the counseling realm, we use that term resources to mean the inner resources and skills that we have to you know, go through hardship and foster resilience. So those are things like really being in tune with that self-care, where I'm going through a hard time or just day to day to ensure that our mental health stays well. So those are things you know, the simple kind of building blocks, like having enough sleep and eating well and making sure you have exercise, social engagements. You know, make sure you have a friend at work and family support – whether they're in the same community or at large and making sure that you're involved in your work in a healthy way and engaging in some sort of hobby. So kind of a holistic view of all those resources that you can try and engage in to just make sure that you're functioning the best way that you can.  Christina:  All those things that we all know that we should be doing but maybe don't. Make the effort and follow through to actually do all the time.  Zoe:  Yeah, and especially you know, when you're used to be in a partnership or maybe you're parenting and you're you know, you're putting other people's needs ahead of your own all of the time. So people kind of, 'Go through the emotions of caring for others and just go into work.' And then as life charges along and then when these big stressors come up in that sort of strong base for coping is a little bit washy and yeah, so having some counseling support can really get back on that track; can be something that's helpful.  Christina:  Excellent! So Zoe, what are the best ways for our listeners to get in touch with you if they'd like to find out more?  Zoe:  Yeah, so the best way could be either over the phone. So that's area code 250 463 3760 or email. So and that just depends on what people are most comfortable with. I find that a lot of people... if they haven't been into counseling before, maybe feel quite nervous, so send in an email first. And then we can chat over the phone for 15 to 20 minutes and see if I would be a fit to what they're going through. And just kinda take it from there!  Christina:  OK, perfect! And we will all of that information in the show notes for people to be able to access you. Alright well, thank you again Zoe! I really appreciate you sharing all of your wisdom with us today.  Zoe:  Thanks so much for having me. It was a pleasure! 

Imagine you’re sitting down with a potential new client for the initial discovery meeting. What do you see sitting across from you? Unfortunately, many advisors see a “prospect,” “dollar signs,” or perhaps “a million-dollar account.” The philosopher Martin Buber called this an “I-It Relationship,” in which one person objectifies the other. On today's show, Ross Levin explains the importance of "I-You" relationships, how to master the "slow things," and the story behind building one of the industry's most iconic firms. Ross Levin is the CEO and Founder of Accredited Investors Wealth Management, which is an RIA based in Minnesota, with approximately $2 billion in assets under management. Ross was the first recipient of the Financial Planning Association's Heart of Financial Planning Award, and the inaugural recipient of Financial Planning Magazine's Lifetime Achievement Award. He is truly an icon in our industry.

I You speak to lead me forward, so now my life bears light. Your chastisement left me fearful, but I didn't understand Your heart. Your stern words revealed my nature; I doubted what You said. I hurt You in the process, I've been such a fool. Foolish was I, not knowing Your word is life. But because of these truths, I've come so far since. No matter when or where, Your life-bearing words and grace let me see how Christ is truth, the way, and the life. He's my one and only, He's my one and only. II The world is always turning, but the truth never changes. Nothing is more precious than life; You are worthy of all praises. To lose Your word is to lose the real life. And if I ever leave Your word, You know my disposition will never change. I must work harder to practice Your word, grasp Your will. I see now that Christ is truth, the way, and the life. He's my one and only, He's my one and only. I may be poor, I may fall sick, but I'll never leave Your word. My flesh may be forgone, and my family torn, but I won't betray the truth. He's my one and only, He's my one and only. He's my one and only, He's my one and only, He's my God. from Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs

What would your team look like if you let them shape and drive the culture, and if you loved them first as people before you ever tried to be coach? Would they be more like the bad news bears instead of Barcelona? If you said the bad news bears, you are dead wrong. In this entertaining and thought provoking interview with Tom Bates, we discover that the world’s greatest teams believe in love, connectedness and the human component as the most important factors in building great cultures and winning teams. Tune in to hear Tom’s fascinating stories from some of the world’s most well-known managers and teams and his own beliefs about what makes a great coach, how to build a great culture, and where the future of sport is headed. Bio Tom Bates is Performance Psychology coach and consultant at West Bromwich Albion FC. Over the last ten years he has worked with youth and senior domestic international athletes, coaches, managers and teams helping them to perform under pressure and be at their best when it matters the most. Starting his career at Cambridge United, he moved to AFC Bournemouth and quickly progressed to Birmingham City FC during their years in the English Premier League and Championship before taking up his current role with the Baggies. Tom’s work has extended into other professional sports working with GB Basketball, Swimming, Boxing, Rugby, Golf and Fencing. During the summer Olympic games of 2012 he worked select GB athletes to maximise performance under pressure to engage and apply Peak Performance principles based on the Science of Psychology. Tom has appeared in numerous television and radio features nationwide extending his work in psychology to executive business coaching seminars and workshops around the world. During these highly interactive seminars he acts to stimulate and inspire thought provoking leadership skills through focusing exclusively on the ‘management of self’. Subscribe to the Way of Champions Podcast on iTunes Show Notes 5:00 How he got into performance psychology 8:45 Only the weak need a psychologist” but even the best should be working with one 12:30 You cannot coach in a freezing cold pool 20:30 Tom shares a great practice from La Masia in Barcelona that helps develop their great culture 26:30 Moving from I/You to “We” is a powerful way to deepen the learning and the resiliency of athletes 33:00 Tom’s belief in the future of High-Performance Coaching 37:15 The importance of culture in sport 48:30 The very first thing you should do to start a great culture and (maybe the most important) Get in Touch Twitter: @TomBatesCoachng (there is no “I” in coaching) Instagram: @TomBatesCoachng Website: www.tombatescoaching.com His TED Talk: Tom Bates: Imagination: The Power of Creativity If you are enjoying our podcast, please help us out and leave a review on iTunes. How to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad Launch Apple’s Podcast app. Tap the Search tab. Enter the name Way of Champions. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right. Tap the album art for the Way of Champions podcast. Tap the Reviews tab. Tap Write a Review at the bottom. Thanks so much, every review helps us to spread this message!

To celebrate her 4 year sobriety anniversary, Amy shares her own Spiritual Awakening. Knowing that addiction is an "illness that only a spiritual experience will conquer", Amy shares some of the major spiritual experiences that have contributed to her spiritual awakening. 14 symptoms that you are having a spiritual awakening. You have the sense that something is different. You feel yourself drifting away from some relationships. You become aware of those things which no longer serve you. You feel great compassion for the suffering of this life. You feel an urge to do something. You become more sensitive. You begin to search for the answer to the question, “Who am I?” You begin to regularly experience synchronicity. You experience a loss of identity. Your sleep patterns change. You lose interest in lesser emotions and thoughts. You feel a sense of Oneness. You begin to experience better overall health. You experience tingling at the top of your head.

Lead Me To The Rock Hear my cry, O God Attend to my prayer From the end of the earth I will cry to You When I’m overwhelmed Chorus: Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I You have been a shelter for me You are my defense I will never be moved … Continue reading Lead Me To The Rock →

There are some things we simply never admit. For example, when you get a phone call on Saturday morning at 2 AM...and you think, "Oh my God I hope this is a wrong number," but it turns out it's a friend who immediately says, "I didn't wake you did I?" You never admit you were sleeping. You don't admit that your idiot friend woke you just when you had a dream going about Catherine Zeta Jones and her twin sister Desire. No sir. When your friend says, "I didn't wake you did I" you say something like, "No I was just sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair reading the bible." It's just one of those harmless lies that keep best friends from taking after Caine and Abel....especially when it comes to politics. That leads me to wonder if there is really anything like a harmless lie. Next time I'm reading the bible, I'll check out the 10 Commandments, and see if I can find any appropriate loopholes. By the way, the first time I looked in the bible, which was a long time ago, I found something that if I tell you about it, I will get into a lot of trouble. The most violently religious among you may even seek an immediate return to the custom of human sacrifice, with me as the honor-ee. But most of you don't know where I live, so I think I'll tell you anyway.

Suresh is a gifted public speaker, the host of the daily podcast BlissHacker Radio, and the author of the upcoming book “Be”. He is also a contributing writer to the Good Men Project. In addition to this, Suresh is a talented composer. Full shownotes: http://yourcreativepush.com/suresh In this episode, Suresh discusses: -How he doesn't fit into a particular category except for "creative." -How you question everything when you go through something like a divorce. -How hearing Robert Rodriquez talk about how he doesn't know how to do the things he does but just jumps in and does them anyway really affected him as a creator. -How people want to edit as they go, but how we can learn from children, because they just keep going and figure out the "editing" later. -His advice for people who are afraid of just jumping into some creative pursuit because they think that they will be terrible. -His method of "crowd-sourcing" for things he doesn't know how to do. -What he means when he describes himself as "limitless" in terms of being able to connect with people around the world with a greater knowledge. -Finding "warp pipes" to get ahead, by contacting people who have already been down the path that you intend to go down. -The importance of knowing how and what to Google. -Neuroplasticity and the way your brain changes every time it learns something new. -The power of YouTube when you are trying to learn something. -Advice to not be so rigid, and to keep exploring to find ways to get your creative message out if you happen to not be very good in one particular discipline. -Tips for achieving a flow state (safely) with your art. Suresh's Final Push will inspire you to move someone else with your art. Quotes: "The root skill is being creative." "The only question that people have is, "Who am I?" "You don't have to know anything.  You just be." "People feel that they need to know before they do, and that limits them because they realize how much they don't know." "I'm not limitless, but I know how to connect with all the people on this planet.  And since I know how to do that, there is no limit to me." "The vision is more than myself." "I want you to think as if the entire world was your oyster and everybody on it was on your team.  Now think what you can do with that, because that's the truth." Links mentioned: -"Be" (Motivational video) -Robert Rodriquez on The Tim Ferris Podcast -The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance by Steven Kotler Connect with Suresh: Blisshacker / Facebook / Instagram / Twitter / E-mail!

The question seems simple enough, God says love your neighbor… so who is that, I sure would hate to mess that up! But the simplicity of the Greatest Commandment, makes that question completely unneeded. The better question, isn’t to ask “who should I love” but instead ask Jesus “Who am I?” You see the famous parable of the Good Samaritan is less about who represents our neighbor and more to do with, what kind of people are we?   After hearing this sermon, we hope you will ask yourself where you are reluctant to love and try to discover the root sin that underlies it. It may be painful… but it is so worth it!   Lessons: Psalm 107:1-9, 2 Corinthians 2:14-16, Luke 10:25-37

Today's Quote is from Mahatma Gandhi Click Below to Listen to Today's Show   It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold or silver.~~ Mahatma Gandhi I think Gandhi had something here. Health is wealth. Are you more concerned with building your wealth than taking care of your health? I know that was a problem for me early on in my career.  As I've gotten older, I have learned that my health is more important than I realized. This is a common problem with entrepreneurs and other career minded people. When I was working toward my goal of building my career, I often spent more time working and traveling than I did on my health. Goals are important and I believe in striving to be the best. However, that doesn't mean we should abandon our own health in those pursuits. One of my goals for the last few years has been to lose weight. As I was building my career I neglected myself. Always worrying about the next dollar, the next client, the next project. Working on creating a business, whether my own or someone else's I sacrificed my health to improve the health of the businesses. Do you do that? Are you working on your business and spending all your time working on and in the business. Do you go home exhausted and get limited amounts of sleep? Do you eat at your desk? Do you spend your days in meetings, or working on projects, then head back to the hotel and eat a pizza in your room and then go to bed?  I did that for years. I would go out to dinner late after working 12 - 15 hour days and eat a great, tasty meal, have a couple drinks or beers with dinner and then go back to my hotel room and go to bed. I am now, like many entrepreneurs and consultants, paying the price. When I say paying the price, I literally mean paying it. One of the biggest problems with not taking care of yourself and eating properly is the possibility of disease. Diseases like Type 2 Diabetes is a common result for this type of lifestyle. Type 2 Diabetes will cost you financially, as well and physically. You can die from Type 2 Diabetes. You can lose your sight, your feet and other body parts because you didn't take care of yourself. That's bad in itself and scary. What's also scary is the financial cost. When I started writing down my WHY for wanting to lose weight in my current goal this year. Yes, living a longer, healthier life is one of my WHY's. But, the biggest WHY for me in this instance is that I want to stop spending over $200 per month on the medicine I have to take to keep my Type 2 Diabetes under control. There is so much more I could do with that money than paying for meds to keep me alive. Are you a Type 2 Diabetic because of your career? Well, let's be honest. It's not the careers fault. It's my fault. It's your fault. I / You made the decision to eat what we did. We made the decision to not take a walk or run before going into the office or after work. We chose to live the lifestyle we lived. Now, I am paying for it, literally. My WHY for my goal is to stop paying for it. I am building the habits necessary to make a lifestyle change to become healthier than I have ever been. I am building the habits to live a longer life. Understand that Gandhi is right - "Health is the real wealth not pieces of gold or silver."  It will certainly pay you to pay attention to your health. Go Out Today, Take Care Of Yourself Now or Pay for It Later Goal Achievement Success System I want to help you get the goals you set and make this year the best year ever for you. Do you want to achieve your goals? Do you want to walk your own path and go where no one has ever been before? Does your subconscious mind play goalie for the other team, blocking your goals and dreams? You can change your mind and make it play for your team. I've put together my Goal Achievement Success System to help you do that. The Mental Bank Program is a major part of this system. I discuss the Mental Bank Concept in these three episodes: Episode 34 - Is This What You Struggle With? Episode 35  - Is Your Mind Killing Your Dreams? 6 Steps to Stop It Now. Episode 36 - Success Is Not An Accident - Take That To The Bank! Using the Mental Bank Program and the 3 Keys to Successful Goal Setting and you will have the best year of your life. You will change your subconscious mind into the Goal Getting Machine is was designed to be. Pick up your copy of the Mental Bank Ledger we discuss in Episode 36 to use to reset your Subconscious Mind to work for your team. Get your copy at GoalGettingPodcast.com/mbl . The Mental Bank Ledger along with the lessons taught in Goal Getting Podcast Episodes 34, 35 and 36 will help you Get The Goals You Set. Contact me if you have questions after listening to these 3 Episodes, 34, 35 and 36 and ask for help.  ~~~~ I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Please go to our show notes page at GoalGettingPodcast.com/qod192 and give me your feedback in the Comments section. ~~~~ Are you a Goal Getter that wants to learn to Master Goal Getting! We've started a private Facebook Group to have a place for you to meet other like-minded, Goal-Oriented people that will support you and help you Get The Goals You Set. If you want to be a part of the Goal Getting Masters Group, go to Goal Getting Podcast.com / masters Sign up and I will add you to the group. Come prepared to participate and share your goals with other Goal Getters.   ~~~~ Thanks for listening to Goal Getting Quote of the Day. If you like this or any of the Quotes, please leave a comment.  I would love to hear your thoughts. If you like our podcast you can easily go Subscribe to our show on iTunes at GoalGettingPodcast.com/itunes or Subscribe to us on Jabbercast at GoalGettingPodcast.com/jabbercast The new Jabbercast App is the best listening experience for podcasts. Check it out.   Please follow us below on your favorite social media channel.  We would love to hear from you there, too. Send us a Tweet, or Instagram Like. You can connect with us on your favorite by going to GoalGettingPodcast.com / and then Twitter or Facebook, or Instagram They will easily take you to the social media platforms and make it easy to follow us. QUICK & EASY - Click here to go leave a review on iTunes I get a lot of my quotes from great books that I read. And if you like to listen to books on Audio like I do, I put together a deal with Audible to give Goal Getting Podcast listeners a FREE Audiobook of your choice AND a 30 Day Trial of Audible's service to try them out. Just click the link in the Blue Box to get to the Audible sign up! Get Your Free Audiobook Here Hi, I would love to know what you think of the show. Do you enjoy these Quote of the Day segments? Let us know by leaving a comment below. Make Today a Great Day! Subscribe to us on iTunes Like our Facebook pagehttp://www.facebook.com/GoalGettingPodcast Follow us on Twitter:Podcast at @GoalsPodcastTony Woodall, Your Host at @TonyWCMB Follow us on Instagram at @GoalGettingPodcast

The second in our Electronic(a) series, this tasty 90-minute installment of diverse electronic gems is sure to dislocate listeners to a whole new season. Tracklist: Penguin Cafe Orchestra - The Snake and the Lotus (The Pond), Illangelo - Shattered Paradise, Ccolo - Peace Me Babi Dub, Anchorsong - Oriental Suite, Gold Panda - I Suppose I Should Say ’Thanks’ Or Some Shit, Inner Science - Lighting, submerse - whyarentyou, Four Tet - Plastic People, [offbeatninja] - You and I (You’re Not Alone), Henry Wu - Just Negotiate (feat. Simeon Jones), James Blake - Postpone, Tribilin Sound - El Carmen, Co La - Smooth Solidarity, Jib Kidder - My Baby (feat. Julia Holter), Twin Sister - Kimmi In a Race Field (Balam Acab Remix), IRIS - Planetarium, Javelin - Goal Wide, Sam Spence - Sunken Ship (Version 2), Virtual Flannel - Black Bunnyhug, DTCPU - Lucky Dragon feat. Geodesic, Deantoni Parks - Down, J Dilla - Oh Oh, GOALS - Ghost Run, Dudley Perkins - Falling, submerse - thinking about you, Nicolas Jaar - Shame, Cross Record - Lemon, Sam Prekop - The Republic 3, Fennesz - Aus

Is it really easy to build a cult-like following for your brand? Yes, but the core of that branding lies in the "adjective". Yes, that very same grammar lesson you had at school. When you look at the biggest and most well-defined brands in history, you find they are defined by a single word. Let's take Volvo, for example. The word "safety" came to mind, didn't it? That's the power of the adjective. Let's learn more in this episode of the Three-Month Vacation  Details To access this audio + transcript: http://www.psychotactics.com/48 Email me at sean@psychotactics.com  Twitter/Facebook: seandsouza Magic? Yes, magic: http://www.psychotactics.com/magic -------------------- In this episode Sean talks about Part 1: What is the adjective and how one little adjective can define your business? Part 2: How we get to this adjective and the biggest mistake you can make Part 3: How do we expand it further so that it becomes your whole DNA Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer. -------------------- Useful resources and links Free Uniqueness Series: How to find your uniqueness Uniqueness Stories: Why Uniqueness Stories Are Better Than Slogans Special Bonus: How To Win The Resistance Game The  Transcript This is the Three Month Vacation. I’m Sean D’Souza. When I was growing up in India, all plywood was sold the same way. You went to a store and you picked some plywood. Then you took it home. There was no branding; it was all very, very generic. At some point, a company called Kitply, they decided that they didn’t want to be generic anymore. They decided they wanted to charge a premium on this plywood. Now why would you go and pay a premium on plywood when you could just enter the store, get your plywood just like everybody else? Well, Kitply, they wanted to do something different. That is exactly what they did. The Indian coastline, it’s about 7,000 kilometers; that’s about 4,500 miles. When you have a coastline that is so extensive, it also means that you have a lot of water around you. Water means humidity, and humidity means disaster for plywood, at least the plywood that you were getting in the store at that point in time. After you spent all this money on a carpenter, which is what most people did, they got a carpenter across and they built cupboards and they put the plywood in the cupboards. Then the rains would come. In India, you don’t just get rains; you get rains in June, all of July, all of August, and a bit in September as well. That plywood would get all the moisture sitting in it. After a while, it would start to warp. Your beautiful cupboard, all your furniture, it would have this warped plywood. It would drive people crazy, but there was nothing that you could do until Kitply came up with a solution. They made their plywood waterproof. But Indians are a skeptical lot, and rightly so. If you’ve got a monsoon that goes on for several months, you want to be sure that the plywood is exceedingly good. So, Kitply not only said that their plywood was waterproof, but that it was boiling waterproof. Now no one was going to take boiling water and throw it on the plywood, but it made a point. What is the factor that caused Kitply to stand out? Incredibly, we have to go back to a grammar lesson, because what we’re doing here is just looking at the adjective. What we’re going to cover in this podcast are three elements. First is what is the adjective. Second: how to pick it. Third: how to refashion your product around it. Let’s start off with the first one, which is what is the adjective. Part 1: What is the Adjective Now, I don’t have to tell you what an adjective is. You did that in grammar class. But here’s the point. When we started out the article writing course it was very difficult for us to position it against other article writing courses, because ours is almost $3,000 and, well, the others are $400 and $500. Some are even free. What we did was we put one little adjective. We called it The Toughest Writing Course in the World. That changed everything. Because not only did it change us, but it changed the perception of all the customers that were going to buy into that course. They knew that it wasn’t a stroll in the park. They knew that they were to expect a lot of work and effort going into that course. That one little adjective made all the difference. This is what you need to do for your business as well. You need one little adjective to define your business. What is this business all about? When we look at a brand like Volvo for instance, immediately an adjective comes to mind, doesn’t it? It’s safety. Now Volvo hasn’t really pushed this concept of safety for a long, long time, and yet we remember it. We remember it because of that one adjective, which was safety. If you go and read any of a dozen books, you’ll find another case study showing up, which is Domino’s Pizza. Now Domino’s Pizza has not advertised its speed for a very long time. That is because every pizza parlor will deliver it very quickly. But it still helped them make it a billion dollar brand all on the basis of one adjective, which was speed. Adjectives play an extremely important roll, and what we’ve got to figure out is how do we create our adjective. This takes us to the second part, where we’re going to explore how we get to this adjective. Part 2: How We Get to This Adjective One of the big mistakes that people do when they’re coming up with their adjective is they sit down with their company, their brand, and they try to come up with an adjective for the company. At this point in time, that’s not really what you want to do. You want to come up with an adjective for a product or a service and not for your company, because your company has so much ego, so much of your ego invested in it, that it is difficult to nail down an adjective. You want to start off really simply by working with a product or a service. When we started out, we didn’t do Psychotactics. We started out with something like the article writing course. What you need to do next is to make sure that you sit down and write about ten adjectives for that product or service, whatever it is. Just write down those ten adjectives, and then you cross out seven. This is not going to be easy, but cross out seven. You’re left with three. Out of those three, you cross out two. This is going to be extremely difficult because you think it’s this and that and that, but you want to cross out two. That leaves you with just one adjective. That defines your product or your service. Now most people go through this procedure in one of two ways. One is absolute fluke, and the second is this organized system of ten and three and one. When we did the article writing course, we didn’t go through this whole system of ten and three and one because a customer, she suggested that it was the toughest writing course in the world, so we adopted that adjective. It became that pivotal point, that pivotal turning point where the course started to get more customers simply based on that one adjective. They wanted to sign up because it was difficult, not because it was easy. This gives us a good chance to actually compare one course with the other. We also have a copywriting course. Now the copywriting course doesn’t have an adjective. When you describe the article writing course you say it’s the toughest course in the world. When you describe the copywriting course, you go, “Um, uh, wait. I … ” You’re lost for words. This is what the adjective does. It boils it down to one single world, but it does so much more because everything extends from there. This is what we’re going to do in the third part. We’re going to look at how it becomes the DNA of your product or service, and how you can build out from there, how it creates this whole structure, this whole ecosystem around your product and service. Let’s go to the third part, which is how do we expand it further so that it becomes your whole DNA. Part 3: How Do We Expand It Further So That It Becomes Your Whole DNA When we just look at the adjective like safety or speed, it doesn’t mean anything. When we look at safety and we look at how do we make this car really safe, then we get to what Volvo has done over the years. They’ve created seat belts and crumple zones and crash test dummies and a whole range of safety devices for your car. So they are known for their safety, and the kind of people that buy a Volvo are those who are obsessed with safety. The whole ecosystem grew around that one adjective. When you look at brands around you, you start to notice that it’s not just Volvo and Domino’s and the article writing course, but when you look at the Benjamin. This is the Benjamin Hotel in New York. They are focused on a good night’s sleep. It’s restfulness that’s their adjective. They have all kinds of pillows. They have a sleep concierge. They have cakes and stuff that help you sleep better, and they’ll even give you a guarantee if you don’t get a good night’s sleep, even if someone else is drilling in the building next door. Everything they do is built around that one concept of sleep, that one adjective of restfulness. When I was growing up in India we had a television. It was called Onida TV. When they launched that TV, the slogan was “Neighbours envy and owner’s pride.” They didn’t talk about the features of the TV, the size of the TV, nothing. It was just this devil the whole time, this sneaky little devil. He showed up on the screen and he did all kinds of antics. At the end of it, it was just about envy. They didn’t talk about anything. That one adjective made Onida one of the largest-selling televisions in India. We live in New Zealand, as you know. If you think of New Zealand, what do you think of? You think of beauty. You think of purity. That’s what New Zealand is all about. It’s 100% pure. That’s what their advertising and marketing is all about. That’s their adjective. But that’s not what New Zealand had about a hundred years ago. Their slogan was about cure, not pure. You came here for health benefits, not to go around and look at the waterfalls and go over the mountains and do all those fabulous things that you can do in New Zealand. That adjective can change over time. Funny, no one even noticed, did they? In fact, some adjectives are under the radar. You look at Facebook for instance, and you think what could be the adjective for Facebook. But it’s very obvious, isn’t it? It’s sticky. Everything they do is designed to make you get back to Facebook. Recently they even made you, forced you to get the Messenger app if you wanted to get some of the messages that friends would send to you. Why did they do that? Because if you didn’t go to Facebook, you’d probably miss out on the messages. If you had the Messenger app, that would pop up on your phone and you’d see it, so it would pull you back to the site. Facebook is all about stickiness. It’s about going there several times a day, being addicted to it, communicating with your friends, doing whatever you have to do, but you have to go back to Facebook. It’s an addiction. When you think of Amazon, you think wow, that’s a great selection. Maybe that is their adjective. But no, it’s below the radar. Amazon’s entire business is built around speed. They have two-day shipping, one-day shipping. This time I was in the United States and I was in Washington D.C. I had bought this mic that I’m using right now. Well not quite, I had ordered the wrong mic. It got shipped in and then I wanted to return it, so I did. I packed it up and I was waiting for the courier to come in. By the time the courier came in, the new mic had already been delivered. There’s an adjective in place even though we might not see as part of the slogan. Sometimes you can have an adjective that is defined by the title. For instance, when I wrote Dartboard Pricing, the concept of dartboard itself talks about something that is unusual, that is kind of random. That gives it that adjective. It gives it that curiosity factor, and it attracts you to that product or to that service. Now, the question does arise: can this adjective last forever? In most cases it can go for a very, very long time. In Domino’s Pizza’s case, it didn’t last forever, but they’re still a billion dollar brand. When you are selling your products or services, it’s critical to have this adjective because this is what we do in normal life. We describe other people. We describe places. We describe movies. We describe products. When you have that adjective in place, it not only helps to create that description, but it becomes the DNA for your product or service. The reason why you see so many products and services without any game plan is simply because they don’t have this simple grammar lesson in place: the adjective. Once you have the adjective, everything builds around it. That is really what we’ve covered today. Summary In part one we just looked at the fact that our grammar lesson was very important. We needed to have an adjective. In part two we looked at the fact that we could probably list ten adjectives and then get rid of seven, and then get rid of another two until we had a single adjective. Finally, we looked at all of these products and services like the Benjamin, and Onida, and New Zealand, and Amazon, and Facebook. There are dozens of examples of very successful brands. At the core of them is the DNA. At the core of them is this factor of the adjective and how the whole ecosystem is built around this one adjective. If you’re wondering what is the adjective for Psychotactics, well, there is an adjective for the brand itself. The adjective for Psychotactics is elegance. When you buy a product or a service from Psychotactics, you experience that elegance. There is an elegance int system which goes with very tiny increments. There’s an elegance in the cartoons. There’s an elegance in the way the text is written. The same thing applies to the podcast. There is the music and the way the whole podcast is recorded. We’re always working towards that elegance. But on a ground level, every product and every service is going to need their own adjective as well. Yes, your company is going to need some kind of adjective. It’s not critical right now but it’s going to need it over time, and you’re going to have to bring out that adjective in your marketing material. Which we haven’t done, by the way, but we will once the new website is up. Companies need the adjective but every product and every service is going to need the adjective as well. That brings us to the end of this podcast. I hope you’ve enjoyed it. If you do enjoy it, then share it with your friends. Talk about it on Twitter or Facebook. That will really help. Leave a review on iTunes; it really helps us. What’s happening in Psychotactics land? Well, you can still get the Dartboard Pricing at whatever we launched it at. We’re going to have the sales page up, so if you want to get it quickly, go to psychotactics.com/ttc. You can also join the headline writing course or become a headline trainer. That’s at the end of this month, so you want to be on the Psychotactics mailing list if you want to get these notifications, because the courses fill up pretty quickly. You can find me at sean@psychotactics.com or Twitter @Sean D’Souza, and at Facebook at Sean D’Souza. Very, very sticky place, but I’m getting out of the sticky zone and I’m going for my walk. That’s me from the Three Month Vacation and psychotactics.com.   Also listen and read: #47: How We Sold $20,000 On Stage (In Under An Hour)      

In many aspects of our lives we share stories with other human beings and no where is the sharing more intense than in long term commitments such as marriage, partnering and other similar interactions. We will analyze marriage from a number of issues common to most if not all long term commited relationships. We wii discuss love, need, sex, power and money and how they shape and are shaped by shared stories. We will look at these relationships from the lens of the "I" "You" and "Us" and how these "entities" shift and change over the course of long intimate interactions. It is important to  discuss how the stories of parents and in-laws as well as the emerging stories of children effect marriages and partnerings. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we will examine the inevitable conflicts that exist in all marriages and the type of politics used to resolve these conflicts.  

An interview with one of the participants from the very first Herpes Opportunity weekend seminar in Raleigh, NC, October 26-28, 2012. Transcript: I: So yeah, just like a general sense of the weekend. What was it like for you? P: I wasn’t really sure going in what to expect, but I came out a different person for sure. It’s more about your self. It’s more about really . . . it’s like self-awareness. It’s really finding out what makes you tick, what’s bothering you. Kind of I guess, just looking at where you are now and where you want to be, and what your gaps are and why you’re not there. I took a lot away from it. And it wasn’t just about the “H”, but more about your self. Pain’s the way I thought about myself actually. And I think about other people, too. I think a lot of it was some of the exercises we went through. I guess opened my eyes. I was feeling kind of alone and disconnected, a lot of different things. I didn’t know whether I could do it, but I guess I just have a whole different prospective on where I was at, and why I was doing certain things to myself when there really was no reason to be that way. I was in a different kind of place, I guess. I just wasn’t thinking in the right frame of mind for a long time, I think. I knew it was a problem, but I never—I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t want to go there. I think a lot of it is, you’re vulnerable, the fear, there’s so many different things, you know, that can go into it. Once you can recognize what it is, you can really start to build some kind of foundation on how you want to change it. (02:38) I: Good. It sounds like the beginning of a new path for you was actually to start looking at maybe the stuff that you didn’t originally want to look at. P: Exactly. Yep. That’s what it is. Sometimes you just need a push, you know. You just need someone to say the right things, the right words, and of course you need to let it all out. I mean, I hadn’t had a meltdown like that probably for, well, I don’t know, for a long time. (03:07) I: How you’re explaining it, it almost sounds like it was purging something from you that had been trapped inside for a while. P: Yes. Yes, that’s another good word. Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, you do it with yourself, but when you have other people there that are just kind of listening, and helping you along, and giving their perspective. It makes a difference. I think it really opens your eyes up to a lot of different possibilities, different opportunities, things you didn’t look at before. I mean, a lot of it, I look at myself saying, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Or my mind was so closed on a certain path or a certain way that I wasn’t even looking at other avenues. And then to hear the other people, “Gosh, I said that problem, too, and this is how I handled it, or it wasn’t exactly similar, but . . .” I mean, that kind of put a little bit in perspective too that I was really thinking, “Of course, I’m alone and no one else is feeling this. What is wrong with me?” You know, that kind of thing. [Laughs] (04:12) I: You’re the only one. [Laughs] P: Yeah, your mind just plays so many different scenarios. And my problem was, I wasn’t letting anybody in, wasn’t telling anybody anything, but it was more than that for me, it wasn’t just about the “H”. And I realized that. It’s not really about that. It’s more about coming in tune with yourself, and really valuing what you have to bring, and then just like listening to other people, too. It was really—I’m really glad I went. I wasn’t going to, I didn’t want to, and you know the whole “H” thing, that’s just another part of my issue, but I’m really glad I did because it really opened up my eyes to a lot of different things, and how much I was shutting a lot of stuff down that I shouldn’t have been. It helped me really, you know say, “God, I have all these people out here, why am I not reaching out? What is wrong with me?” It really kind of put that back into perspective that I don’t have to go through all this alone. It just helped me say—you know I kept saying, ”Yeah, I accept it. I accept it.” But I really don’t think I did to be honest. (05:26) I: Umm hmm. It sounds like you felt really supported. P: Yeah, I did. Yeah, probably for the first time in a long time. I: Wow. How does that feel to say that? P: It feels good, really. I’ve been trying to take it all in the last couple days, and each day I get better, I get more confident. I’m more—I’m not thinking of the negative things, I’m thinking of “Okay, what can I do to push it through. There’s got to be some other avenue or another thing I can do.” Instead of just saying, “Okay, it’s not going to work. I’m done.” Then you shut yourself down, and you miss out on some many different opportunities or maybe different possibilities you didn’t think of before, you didn’t look at before. (06:12) I: Yeah. What else is different about you now? P: I don’t know. I guess I feel a little bit more of a relief. I don’t feel the weight on my shoulders any more. I feel that I can just look at certain things and take it one step at a time. Whereas before I just felt so closed in. I felt like, “God, it’s too much. I just can’t do it.” I’m feeling more like this is an obstacle, but how can I get around it? Or what can I do to help me face it? For the most part, I got out the value that I wanted for me. It was a really good experience for me. I’m so glad that I [Laughs], I finished it because I think I would have been very disappointed in myself if I didn’t. (07:03) I: If you were to tell someone who might be considering coming to the seminar, but they’re afraid or they don’t really know what it’s about . . .what would you tell that person? P: I would tell them that I felt the same way. Without giving it away, it’s about “H”, but it’s something more. It’s more of like a movement. And it’s really about your self. It’s really about taking a weekend and really—it’s like a retreat. Take a weekend and just really think about yourself. Sometimes you need that, you need . . . and don’t be afraid to have someone push you because sometimes we need that push. You’ll really be glad you did because you’ll really find out things about yourself and other people that you would never found out if you didn’t go to the seminar. It’s really valuable even though you might think, ”God, I don’t need this.” because I didn’t think I needed either. Because everyone thinks they’re coping with things when they’re really not, so I think I would just encourage them. Yeah, you have “H”, but there’s [sic] other things you’re going to get out of the seminar that I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised at the end, and how you feel about yourself and other people. (08:21) I: I think you said that for you, it felt pretty heavy at the beginning like when you first came in you felt pretty heavy, but by the end, it was like the weight was off, I feel really light, I feel free. P: Yeah. Yeah, it was like a—it was freedom, it was a relief; I’ve been carrying a lot on my shoulders. Just as I was driving today, I was coming back from somewhere and I’m like, “My God, why was I doing that all of these years? I was taking on this burden.” (08:51) I: Before you came to the seminar, when you had disclosed, you had gotten rejected. How do you feel about disclosing to someone now? P: Much better. Much better. I think it was my whole attitude . . . I’m like, “They’re never going to accept this and you can’t go in like that. It’s so much different how I feel now about it. I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to explain. I have a whole different perspective on that now. And even talking to other people, the other participants, and even the staff regarding that . . . I mean, it’s—I don’t know, I just feel like I’m more confident for some reason. I think that has a lot to do with feeling you’re worthy, you deserve it . . . I never really felt that way before. I always thought, “Alright, I don’t deserve it. I did something wrong.” [Laughs] (09:49) I: And now you feel like now you deserve it. P: Yeah, I feel like, “Goddamn it, you know, I do. There’s nothing wrong with me.” [Both laugh] It’s just one little obstacle that you can overcome. I’ve seen people with relationships where one has it, or they both do [sic] or whatever. You know, and people are still together. I mean, sh*t, a lot of it doesn’t have anything to do with it, more of it’s financial reasons, and other reasons why people split up. But I wasn’t thinking like that, I had another way of thinking before walking in there. It’s just kind of opened my eyes a little more I guess. It’s giving me a chance. I wasn’t even giving myself a chance, I think. I was shooting myself down before I even went in to disclose. A lot of it you don’t think about body language and you know, looking in someone’s eyes, really think a lot about that stuff when you’re talking to somebody. And some of it was, “Oh my God, they’re going to think this . . .” When really actually they’re not. Even before you would speak, it’s putting a lot of preconceived—like what I was doing, “Oh, he’s never going to . . .” this guy when I tell him, he’s going to walk out the door. And that shows on your face. (11:08) Break in interview: Interviewer states, “And then I said, ‘Wow. After hearing all of that, it sounds like it was a really good weekend for you.’” P: Yes. Absolutely. It just really lifted me up. It really—I just needed it. I needed a big push and I got it. I’m just so glad that I attended and that I came back—that I didn’t get into that place again where, “Oh, I can’t do this, and I can just do everything by myself. And I’m so independent, and I don’t need anybody.” You know, that kind of thing. And really I did. It’s like, “No, you’re getting your ass up, and you’re going there and you’re going to finish it.” That’s what I did. So I think just a lot of what people said to me, it just made me feel good. For one thing because I haven’t heard it in a while, but I kind of already knew that it was there. But to have people see it actually, and to tell you, it just really meant a lot to me. It really gives you a little bit of a boost. And just reiterates what really was inside of me, that is was there all along. It’s just that I let myself get into some kind of funk or whatever you want to call it, and to believe that it wasn’t there anymore and I’m not a good person, or I can’t do this or something will never happen that I want to happen. (12:39) I: Yeah. So actually having people see your beauty, and your leadership, and your big heart . . .it actually had you being able to see all those things more clearly in your self? P: Exactly. Exactly. I: And how does that feel to realize all of those things about yourself? (13:03) P: It feels great. [Laughs] It just feels wonderful. I can’t tell you how, just a better perspective I have. I was such in a dark place before. I’m just not in that place anymore. I don’t ever want to go there again. And hopefully, I won’t. It opens up your eyes. It’s like, “What have you been doing the last couple months or the last couple years feeling this way?” There’s absolutely no reason to feel that way. It really helps you bring out your strengths and know that you have courage even coming there for one thing. It really says a lot about yourself, and it makes you believe. I don’t want to say, “Gives you hope.” because you always have—I always had hope, but it’s just the word that’s coming into my mind right now. It gives you hope, makes you believe, you know not go back into where you were before because it’s just not a good place to be. (14:05) I: It sounds like when you talk about all this stuff that you have a tool set now for making sure you don’t flip into that dark space again. P: Yes, I do. You’re absolutely right. I like set the foundation to build what I know what I need to do. It’s the push I needed to do it. It kind of sets you in motion for what you want to do, and it gives kind of like a goal to reach in the next couple months or the next year. And it kind of gives you the momentum after something like this to follow through with what I need to do for myself. (14:45) I: Well, cool. It sounds like a lot of healing took place for you over the course of the weekend. P: Yeah, it really did. It really was a good experience for me. I can’t thank you enough for pushing me because if I didn’t have the push, I’d still be where I was. I wasn’t in a good place, but I feel so much better now. And I’m just so glad that I came and I met everybody. It opened up whole new avenue of living my life. I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to explain, I guess. (15:19) I: That was beautifully explained. [Laughs] I love what you just said. P: Wow. Thanks. I: Yeah. I’m just really proud of you for having the courage to, like you said, to even come. (15:33) P: Yeah, it’s—thank you. I know that now. I didn’t think when I walked in there, “I have courage.” but it was… for everyone. Like you said, you just get into the mold and you get beat up so hard sometimes that it’s hard to come out of something, but with a weekend to really kind of look at yourself and hear feed back from other people. It’s really—it’s so valuable to me. Like I said, it’s worth gold. It’s worth gold. (16:10) I: [Laughs] That is so good to hear. I’m so glad that you came. P: I’m glad I came, too. And you did a really nice job facilitating, by the way. I: [Laughs] Thank you. P: Yeah, that was a huge thing to undertake—this is going to get really huge. I think you know that. [Laughs] (16:33) I: I hope so. I hope so. I can’t wait for it to blow up, and help as many people as possible. Just your help on the phone with me now really helps that. P: It will. This is going to get really big. It’s really a good seminar. You don’t how many more people you’re going to help. It’s just so wide open. And so many people need this that it’s going to be incredible. It really is. (17:04) Break in interview: Interviewer states, “Wow, pretty cool. And then we got talking about the possibility of coming back and helping staff again, and helping other people who need it. Here’s what we started talking about…” (17:17) P: I was just going to say that I saw a lot of me in some of the younger folks, and just some of the things they said because they were so newly diagnosed. I’m like, “Oh, my goodness. You know, I’ve been there. I know your pain. You’re going to get better.” To hear them say, “Oh, I’m just not—I don’t feel pretty, and I feel dirty. I’m never going to be able to get a date.” It’s just like, “Oh my gosh, you know, I’ve been through this…yes, you will.” [Laughs] It makes you want to really reach out to them…hey, listen, you’re going to be fine. You’re going to go through some stuff, yeah, but you’re going to come out of it okay. I never had that when I was diagnosed, so I want to be able to give that to somebody. They’re just going to take the ball and run with it, and just be overwhelmed with joy that someone’s actually taken the time to tell them they’re going to be okay. And you make all these friends along the way that you didn’t have before. The whole experience is like really incredible. [Laughs] (18:27) I: [Laughs] I like that little laugh at the end. [Laughs] P: A laugh of happiness. I: Awesome. It’s so good. (18:39)

Phillip Gummerson 30/09/12 Key Verses: Ephesians 4:22-5:2 Winning Spiritual Warfare 3 Points: Avoid sin Balanced living Christocentric Life 1. Avoid Sin (Romans 6:11-14 - NIV) Choosing to sin or persisting in sin isn't just losing, it;s the same as being a traitor. Psalm 19:13 - NIV 2. Balanced Living (1 Corinthians 6:12,13,19,20- NIV) The Challenge: Is there any legitimate (not sinful) activity or substance which you would have difficulty giving up, right now, for 1 week? The question is not "why should I?", but "can I?" You will not last long-term in Spiritual Warfare if you don't manage your lifestyle. (Mark 12:30 - NIV) 3. Cristocentric Life (John 15:4,5,7,8 - NIV) The main key to winning in Spiritual Warfare is this Christ In-dwelling & dwelling in Christ. (Colossians 3:3 - NIV)

Ok... How many of you are out there with a dream to get into the Music industry? How many of you believe that it is impossible to have a chance considering all of the "great" artists out there. "Who am I?" You may ask yourself. I'll tell you who you are..."You are the greatest Artist, Musician, Song-Writer, or Singer out there!" Today, we are going to have an industry icon, Paul "pda" Allen, Producer of the multi Grammy, Stellar....Award winning group P.A.J.A.M. here LIVE to give you some valuable tips on the music industry, along with Steve Brisker of Micco World to speak on the Digital Market/opportunities for you. Where is the industry going? What are some major do's and dont's? How can you bypass the pitfall of a starving artist? How do you protect yourself in the industry? and so... much more! You don't want to miss this show! Get the negative voices out of your head and attain your DREAM IN MUSIC!! To read more on Paul Allen - visit http://Pajam-Music.com******Listen, Download (here and on Podcast so that you can listen to it on you IPOD 24/7), Inspire and Share. Tune in for this Powerful, Insightful and sometimes even humerous live Radio Talk Show. Listen: To be TOTALLY FULFILLED, means that you are fulfilled spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially. Are you Fit 4 the Journey to TRUE PURPOSE? Special Guest that air on this show are also with the same mission of helping you BIRTH your life's TRUE PURPOSE - A life of TOTAL FULFILLMENT! NOTE: Show Descriptions will be updated weekly.*****DONT FORGET to register for your TRUE PURPOSE DEVELOPMENT CLASSES!!!! http://truepurposedevelopment.com*****To find out more about the process of "spiritual pregnancy", which causes you to experience your life's TRUE PURPOSE in your divine time, visit on-line @ http://spiritualpregnancy.info****PREGNANT IN THE SPIRIT is available world-wide! Get your copy today - Amazon, Borders, Barnes/Noble/www.brealpublishing.com!