Podcasts about Noo

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 94:54

So, you built this, huh? I certainly must have, at some point. All by yourself. I highly doubt. You just considerably know yourself well to have brought yourself here— Or not. Let's just say, I really uh— Fuck, I blacked out, Tied one on the night before. Oh, God. And the day before— Oh, well. Hello, t there. I—uh— And the night before the day before. Christ. All I'm saying is, for this audition you're going to want to keep it classy. Keep it—classy. Let the games begin! In those pants I could make you into anything In these jeans it seems there may indeed be a reason to meet me, and maybe Just maybe If we're playing the same game. You may see me, And we will play together— For eternity. What exact the fuck game are you playing with this guy? I don't remember. Drunken Posers. FUCHK. I hate this game' I love this GAME. Jett How am I supposed to find this tiny Drew Barrymore, before 6 o clock tonight You're going to have to find a way— You might try here What Or here What! How am I supposed to know which kid she is You'll remember her—she'll remember you Yeah, whatever Oh, and another thing— She'll be so cute you want to die. Oh god Hey kid. I've got some new for ya -“[a very tiny Drew Barry otte screams at the top of her lungs] Rig it in time, bro And right in timbre TIMBRE Look, this has been moved up the ladder some. Excuse me? Chain of command. Are you telling me, that I somehow outrank— This fool. This fool. Ugh. In the Illuminati? *shrugs* She outranks me. Dang, dude. What are you gonna do? Nothing, I guess. That's not an answer. SUNNI! What. WHAT HAPPENED?! I don't know. That is NOT an answer. We wear black in winter. Well, at least I got the dress code right… Welcome To New York. We wear black in winter. Walk at a fast pace into oncoming traffic. Every. Single. Thing. Is a— Speeding Silver— Bullet. (If you catch it, [you can]try to paint it gold. Toucan Sam I will tell you- I will tell you— I will tell you again. You don't exist, It's moot that I don't exist. It's that I'm extract l. L l It's that I'm extinct Okay, look; this is— not what you're used to. What am I used to? You're a Piglet. Eeyore. Where's Pooh? Probably with Tigger. Well. Well. I guess it's just—us—then. … … [beat] (A long, heavy pause for dramatic effect) F—-ck this is awkward. Producer foods: P B & J Check. And almond butter. Nice. This is horrible. But here it goes. What is. Here it goes: Noodles. Check. soy sauce? Yessir. Steak. Check. Scissors. Check. [beat] Uh. Mau5. WHAT CHICKEN. why does he have a cat named chicken! We're about to find out. What are the scissors for? Exit, exit now. Why? FUDGE. HOT FUDGE. Damn, Dillon. wtf. Flashback: (Listening to Dillon Francis on heavy rotation at acid-level synesthesia) *smacks lisp* @9@ lol okay ***smacks lips*** Does this taste sweet to you? I still see that one cereal box and get reminded of Dillon Francis a lot. Facts. Ketchup. Facts. Vanilla Soy Milk Correct. Out of all the comedians I studied, Jay Pharoah was my new favorite. Yes, my new favorite comedian. There were the old favorites— The classics, if you will. You know Bernie Mac, Kat Williams, Robin Williams— And this, by the way, is in no particular order— Eddie Murphy Cedric— (Sorry I thought you were dead, broh.) Cereal. Yup. Two kinds! Teriyaki—for the noodles? Did I not mention that with the soy sauce already? It should be maybe like included with the soy sauce. No, its seperate. Dane Cook. Really dawg, come on. Richard Pryor. Titans, broh, titans. PERCIUS Yo. NO. NOO—NO. Shut up. I gotta tell you something. *screaming girlie* NO. Shut up! I told you all along. No you didn't! She—cannot—be trusted! You encouraged it! You—don't tell me what I did— You did that! You just worry about what you did— What I did?! What you've done!! What— Oh god. Oh jeez. Oh, shit, son!! I gotta get goin. Wait, you're right: where is Liz? Good question. This is not safe. This cannot be safe. It's not safe. This is not KOSHER. What's it matter to you? It SO matters. Are you a Jew, now? It might suit me at this point. Or eventually, it may. What's that supposed to mean. Quiet, Liz. We're almost finished. Finished with what. Just one more *strap* Oh, great another— Shh. DOCTOR! DOCTOR. Nobody can hear you. Oh! But they will. They won't. And why not?! Because, you're a cartoon character; and even if you weren't. What are you talking about?! I'm Liz Lemon! Yes—that is—semi-correct. Semi correct?! It is fully correct! Elizabeth Lemon would be fully correct— by definition. What—what are you doing? Preparing for takeoff. Takeoff?! Where are you sending me. Takeoff from The Migos feels a small pull in his heart, and a ringing in his ears, as he becomes the first living Migo to be mentioned in the festival project. Huh. {Enter The Multiverse} First of all, his Skrillex impression l— Spot on. Because yes, As we all know— Those of us who were there to watch Skrillex Personally sign on to The Illuminati Via Justin Bieber— Nothing so quite remarkably Brought back its pungent memory— The song that in one phrase, Both started and ended it all, Than Jay Pharoh's own memorandum, A representation by impression, Of this particular sound, Known lovingly otherwise as “Skrillex” And however, was the Pause What in the fuck did I just see. Oh, that's just Skrillex . I knew it was you. Yes, yes you did… Okay— Now. Now where are you going to go? I don't know. That's not an answer. Oh god. Right. It's just a bodiless fuckin Like an orb. That's what you'd call that? I'd call it more of like A florecent, gellatenous— Presently, yes— Blob, of sorts. Oh shit. This bitch said “bomb” and Kamala in the same sentence. lol. Yikes. She finna be famous, on accident. Probably on purpose, but if it was gonna be on accident— it'd be because of that. You right. Man, I'm fuckin ba— —ked. kettle chips. I love those. How are they kettle chips if they're baked. *shrugs* I dunno. Damn. Alright. That nigga is fine as fuck. Dont we all know it. Get him the fuck out of my face. Whatchu mean?! It's eye candy. I don't eat candy! Unless it's spelled with a k and made of letters! Okay Alright —and even then and only then will I eat it if I am inexplicably drunk or in any other way otherwise intoxicated. Ok, damn. Ok Sunnï. Now, get that nugga out of my eyesight. He's not He's not technically “in your eyesight” EVEN MY PERIPHERIAL. Ok. AND NY FORESIGHT, and my HINDSIGHT OK. Ok Sunnï. AND MY FORESKIN, AND MY FOREHEAD AND NY FORESHADOWING— LOOK. JUST GET HIM OUT OF MY LIFE OUT OF LIFE the whole life OUT MY LIFE. Ok. On it. Two minutes to wrap this up Before the fast of the century Falls flat on its face Like the rice noodles I'm about to stuff your face with Pronto the moment You arrive back in your body Where am I now? At a rave. (In the bathtub) Which is—accurate? Which isn't? [A Cult Classic] Around 1:30 we rendezvous Until, that is, This posts, with the rest of them And as of then, We'll meet again, At another time (Set no reminders) Cameras flash and shines the diamond. Is that it? Yeah, I thinks so. Are you sure? I mean, produce stuff. Peppers, onions, whatever. —are you sure? Yeah, that's it. Are you serious? What? What's wrong. Where's the Jimmy Fallon's? What?! (They're gonna kill me for this) Playtoy, plaything Gets old real l quick It's love, not lust Gets home round ten Get up round 6 Makes the round. Wraps a towel around his head Writes love on her arm It's a real nice story, If you're surviving the apocalypse. Lips, lips, yeah Lipstick, lipstick Golden charriots And Blondish wigs sis Since when did you get hip Since hip replacement No birthday presents; But it's too late, isn't it? It really is, it really is It's too late, isn't it It really is, it really is —but, it's too late, isn't it. I want you to watch this. What is it. Not sure yet. Uhm, okay: See you later. What, you're not going to watch it with me? You're gonna need a professional fluffer. Call my agent and my lawyer. Aren't they the same guy? What?! NO! *shrugs* What the fuck is wrong with everybody! Sorry imm late! Hey tigger. Tigger. It is I. Where's Pooh. How should I know? We thought he was with you. Who is we —? Us, And what do I look like—his keeper? Do the Charlie Brown. What?! Do the Charlie Brown! What? Like wawahwahwa?? No! Idiot! The dance. The what. Do the dance?! I don't know what that is. What. What the fuck. I thought you was supposed to be funny. I am! I was. But you don't know how to Charlie Brown I know how to Charlie Brown! I just did the “wahwahwa” That's the teacher! Man, shut up! You—what?! There's a dance! I didn't know there's a dance! What the fuck, man. You lose, dawg. What do you want from me?! Hold on! Boss. What?! He don't know how to do the Charlie Brown. What. I said. That nigga don't know how do to the Charlie Brown?! He say he don't! Man— Man!!! I said! Shoot that nigga! Jay Pharoh, another notable SNL alumni, however From the wonder years in which I had really never watched, but only glossed under in curiosity— Just so happened to be the definitive test of my overall attraction to members of my own “race” classification— And an incredible impressionist— Maybe even the best, ever. But here, let me explain the first part. I realized that simply, watching his performance , That I was certainly not— Nor might I ever be— Attracted to black men. Yes, indeed. Jay Pharoh stood as the equivalent of The girl the gay guy kisses passionately in order attempt to achieve arousal from such an act, by this, I mean: That I watched this stand up performance as a straight female, fellow performer, and sapiosexual— In knowing and understanding that, I was watching this man, as I had many others, Doing something I found incredibly attractive— Actually, almost irresistible— Performance art; Live performance art— Better yet, Stand up comedy, which I have yet to have fully broken the code—meaning that this act— An illusive mystery to me as to how exactly it is practiced; Whereas with music the viel has since been lifted— There still exists a certain type of magic in the act of performing stand up comedy, especially to large audiences. And so, in the sense that Jay Pharoh—a notable SNL alumni, an incredible performer and with the added bonus of being an extremely attractive and accomplished fellow l— There should be some kind of —you know— Erotic spark involved in watching this performance;such as the young gay man uses his willing perceivably attractive female friend as a practice test in order to better understand his own identity and circumstance, so was this Not entirely on purpose— But actually, hy complete accident, and Just as the young gay might realize upon kissing his female friend— I realized this: Jay Pharoh to me was an incredibly beautiful human being— So incredibly beautiful, in fact, that several times during his performance— I actually wanted to cry. Cry actual tears— And while I realized that this man, As beautiful as he was— Physically, and spiritually— Aesthetically, and otherwise— Hitting all the marks in all the places that he should, There was one thing that made it feel as if, In anything at all in the world, We were incompatible. Not to say that I could put myself into the category of upper echelon women to compete over such an admired person at all— But only finally realizing something important about myself, that just so happened to be as important as the formerly unsure gay's sexuality is to him; My attraction to black men did not exist. Like I said, it was bad— Or at least, it sounds bad. But now I finally get it. This man, Who had everything I could dream of and more, Who happened to be in peak shape, At the height of his career, And incredible in every single possible way— Who was, So beautiful, in fact, inside and out— That I nearly did cry— Still wasn't someone I wanted to have sex with. Case solved. Of course, this man can do much better. That's far beyond the point; And, If there is a point at all to any of this, it's that Gender, and sexuality, and attraction are still In this time Just as much of a mystery to humanity as it's ever been, and as much as it'll ever be The theory of genetic attraction so far is entirely existent only in my mind— or perhaps even, hidden somewhere deeply in secret within my genetic code, as the closer I age toward my own maternal peak, the more spacific the traits in the opposite sex which dictate what I am and am not or will or will not be attracted to sexually. Does that make me a racist any more than a homosexual's explicit desires to see a same-gendered person over the opposite makes them a mysognoist or otherwise? #karmageddon And while I've struggled in my cellibacy to adapt to a changing world, realizing that my viewpoints and beliefs, my code of ethics and even my own morals have become somewhat obsolete that, I'm forced to recon, alongside with my non-binary assignment, that the need to procreate as a female, a natural phenomenon and this desire for change within the current genetic predisposition Is something like homosexuality, in that My particular genetic code And the particular genetic code of my potential mate rests with the knowledge that my own intrinsic sexual attraction or converse aversion to one determination over another is in part due to the structure of evolution within our species with the higher purpose of creating offspring more likely to survive and succeed within the world's consistently changing climate—sociologically and otherwise. What in the fuck does this have to do with comedy?! Nothing, this is the equivalent of the recently self-realized gay man having an overaggrandized and theatrical coming-out So what are you coming out with exactly? I don't know. I just like white dudes. That's it? Yeah. . . . #floatingfastdays [The Festival Project ™] That's it?! Yeah. “I like white dudes.” Only white dudes. That's all you were trying to say? Not trying to say. I said it. Like, scientifically, and shit. Are you serious? I want one. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

14. [Coffee & Tea.]

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 94:54

So, you built this, huh? I certainly must have, at some point. All by yourself. I highly doubt. You just considerably know yourself well to have brought yourself here— Or not. Let's just say, I really uh— Fuck, I blacked out, Tied one on the night before. Oh, God. And the day before— Oh, well. Hello, t there. I—uh— And the night before the day before. Christ. All I'm saying is, for this audition you're going to want to keep it classy. Keep it—classy. Let the games begin! In those pants I could make you into anything In these jeans it seems there may indeed be a reason to meet me, and maybe Just maybe If we're playing the same game. You may see me, And we will play together— For eternity. What exact the fuck game are you playing with this guy? I don't remember. Drunken Posers. FUCHK. I hate this game' I love this GAME. Jett How am I supposed to find this tiny Drew Barrymore, before 6 o clock tonight You're going to have to find a way— You might try here What Or here What! How am I supposed to know which kid she is You'll remember her—she'll remember you Yeah, whatever Oh, and another thing— She'll be so cute you want to die. Oh god Hey kid. I've got some new for ya -“[a very tiny Drew Barry otte screams at the top of her lungs] Rig it in time, bro And right in timbre TIMBRE Look, this has been moved up the ladder some. Excuse me? Chain of command. Are you telling me, that I somehow outrank— This fool. This fool. Ugh. In the Illuminati? *shrugs* She outranks me. Dang, dude. What are you gonna do? Nothing, I guess. That's not an answer. SUNNI! What. WHAT HAPPENED?! I don't know. That is NOT an answer. We wear black in winter. Well, at least I got the dress code right… Welcome To New York. We wear black in winter. Walk at a fast pace into oncoming traffic. Every. Single. Thing. Is a— Speeding Silver— Bullet. (If you catch it, [you can]try to paint it gold. Toucan Sam I will tell you- I will tell you— I will tell you again. You don't exist, It's moot that I don't exist. It's that I'm extract l. L l It's that I'm extinct Okay, look; this is— not what you're used to. What am I used to? You're a Piglet. Eeyore. Where's Pooh? Probably with Tigger. Well. Well. I guess it's just—us—then. … … [beat] (A long, heavy pause for dramatic effect) F—-ck this is awkward. Producer foods: P B & J Check. And almond butter. Nice. This is horrible. But here it goes. What is. Here it goes: Noodles. Check. soy sauce? Yessir. Steak. Check. Scissors. Check. [beat] Uh. Mau5. WHAT CHICKEN. why does he have a cat named chicken! We're about to find out. What are the scissors for? Exit, exit now. Why? FUDGE. HOT FUDGE. Damn, Dillon. wtf. Flashback: (Listening to Dillon Francis on heavy rotation at acid-level synesthesia) *smacks lisp* @9@ lol okay ***smacks lips*** Does this taste sweet to you? I still see that one cereal box and get reminded of Dillon Francis a lot. Facts. Ketchup. Facts. Vanilla Soy Milk Correct. Out of all the comedians I studied, Jay Pharoah was my new favorite. Yes, my new favorite comedian. There were the old favorites— The classics, if you will. You know Bernie Mac, Kat Williams, Robin Williams— And this, by the way, is in no particular order— Eddie Murphy Cedric— (Sorry I thought you were dead, broh.) Cereal. Yup. Two kinds! Teriyaki—for the noodles? Did I not mention that with the soy sauce already? It should be maybe like included with the soy sauce. No, its seperate. Dane Cook. Really dawg, come on. Richard Pryor. Titans, broh, titans. PERCIUS Yo. NO. NOO—NO. Shut up. I gotta tell you something. *screaming girlie* NO. Shut up! I told you all along. No you didn't! She—cannot—be trusted! You encouraged it! You—don't tell me what I did— You did that! You just worry about what you did— What I did?! What you've done!! What— Oh god. Oh jeez. Oh, shit, son!! I gotta get goin. Wait, you're right: where is Liz? Good question. This is not safe. This cannot be safe. It's not safe. This is not KOSHER. What's it matter to you? It SO matters. Are you a Jew, now? It might suit me at this point. Or eventually, it may. What's that supposed to mean. Quiet, Liz. We're almost finished. Finished with what. Just one more *strap* Oh, great another— Shh. DOCTOR! DOCTOR. Nobody can hear you. Oh! But they will. They won't. And why not?! Because, you're a cartoon character; and even if you weren't. What are you talking about?! I'm Liz Lemon! Yes—that is—semi-correct. Semi correct?! It is fully correct! Elizabeth Lemon would be fully correct— by definition. What—what are you doing? Preparing for takeoff. Takeoff?! Where are you sending me. Takeoff from The Migos feels a small pull in his heart, and a ringing in his ears, as he becomes the first living Migo to be mentioned in the festival project. Huh. {Enter The Multiverse} First of all, his Skrillex impression l— Spot on. Because yes, As we all know— Those of us who were there to watch Skrillex Personally sign on to The Illuminati Via Justin Bieber— Nothing so quite remarkably Brought back its pungent memory— The song that in one phrase, Both started and ended it all, Than Jay Pharoh's own memorandum, A representation by impression, Of this particular sound, Known lovingly otherwise as “Skrillex” And however, was the Pause What in the fuck did I just see. Oh, that's just Skrillex . I knew it was you. Yes, yes you did… Okay— Now. Now where are you going to go? I don't know. That's not an answer. Oh god. Right. It's just a bodiless fuckin Like an orb. That's what you'd call that? I'd call it more of like A florecent, gellatenous— Presently, yes— Blob, of sorts. Oh shit. This bitch said “bomb” and Kamala in the same sentence. lol. Yikes. She finna be famous, on accident. Probably on purpose, but if it was gonna be on accident— it'd be because of that. You right. Man, I'm fuckin ba— —ked. kettle chips. I love those. How are they kettle chips if they're baked. *shrugs* I dunno. Damn. Alright. That nigga is fine as fuck. Dont we all know it. Get him the fuck out of my face. Whatchu mean?! It's eye candy. I don't eat candy! Unless it's spelled with a k and made of letters! Okay Alright —and even then and only then will I eat it if I am inexplicably drunk or in any other way otherwise intoxicated. Ok, damn. Ok Sunnï. Now, get that nugga out of my eyesight. He's not He's not technically “in your eyesight” EVEN MY PERIPHERIAL. Ok. AND NY FORESIGHT, and my HINDSIGHT OK. Ok Sunnï. AND MY FORESKIN, AND MY FOREHEAD AND NY FORESHADOWING— LOOK. JUST GET HIM OUT OF MY LIFE OUT OF LIFE the whole life OUT MY LIFE. Ok. On it. Two minutes to wrap this up Before the fast of the century Falls flat on its face Like the rice noodles I'm about to stuff your face with Pronto the moment You arrive back in your body Where am I now? At a rave. (In the bathtub) Which is—accurate? Which isn't? [A Cult Classic] Around 1:30 we rendezvous Until, that is, This posts, with the rest of them And as of then, We'll meet again, At another time (Set no reminders) Cameras flash and shines the diamond. Is that it? Yeah, I thinks so. Are you sure? I mean, produce stuff. Peppers, onions, whatever. —are you sure? Yeah, that's it. Are you serious? What? What's wrong. Where's the Jimmy Fallon's? What?! (They're gonna kill me for this) Playtoy, plaything Gets old real l quick It's love, not lust Gets home round ten Get up round 6 Makes the round. Wraps a towel around his head Writes love on her arm It's a real nice story, If you're surviving the apocalypse. Lips, lips, yeah Lipstick, lipstick Golden charriots And Blondish wigs sis Since when did you get hip Since hip replacement No birthday presents; But it's too late, isn't it? It really is, it really is It's too late, isn't it It really is, it really is —but, it's too late, isn't it. I want you to watch this. What is it. Not sure yet. Uhm, okay: See you later. What, you're not going to watch it with me? You're gonna need a professional fluffer. Call my agent and my lawyer. Aren't they the same guy? What?! NO! *shrugs* What the fuck is wrong with everybody! Sorry imm late! Hey tigger. Tigger. It is I. Where's Pooh. How should I know? We thought he was with you. Who is we —? Us, And what do I look like—his keeper? Do the Charlie Brown. What?! Do the Charlie Brown! What? Like wawahwahwa?? No! Idiot! The dance. The what. Do the dance?! I don't know what that is. What. What the fuck. I thought you was supposed to be funny. I am! I was. But you don't know how to Charlie Brown I know how to Charlie Brown! I just did the “wahwahwa” That's the teacher! Man, shut up! You—what?! There's a dance! I didn't know there's a dance! What the fuck, man. You lose, dawg. What do you want from me?! Hold on! Boss. What?! He don't know how to do the Charlie Brown. What. I said. That nigga don't know how do to the Charlie Brown?! He say he don't! Man— Man!!! I said! Shoot that nigga! Jay Pharoh, another notable SNL alumni, however From the wonder years in which I had really never watched, but only glossed under in curiosity— Just so happened to be the definitive test of my overall attraction to members of my own “race” classification— And an incredible impressionist— Maybe even the best, ever. But here, let me explain the first part. I realized that simply, watching his performance , That I was certainly not— Nor might I ever be— Attracted to black men. Yes, indeed. Jay Pharoh stood as the equivalent of The girl the gay guy kisses passionately in order attempt to achieve arousal from such an act, by this, I mean: That I watched this stand up performance as a straight female, fellow performer, and sapiosexual— In knowing and understanding that, I was watching this man, as I had many others, Doing something I found incredibly attractive— Actually, almost irresistible— Performance art; Live performance art— Better yet, Stand up comedy, which I have yet to have fully broken the code—meaning that this act— An illusive mystery to me as to how exactly it is practiced; Whereas with music the viel has since been lifted— There still exists a certain type of magic in the act of performing stand up comedy, especially to large audiences. And so, in the sense that Jay Pharoh—a notable SNL alumni, an incredible performer and with the added bonus of being an extremely attractive and accomplished fellow l— There should be some kind of —you know— Erotic spark involved in watching this performance;such as the young gay man uses his willing perceivably attractive female friend as a practice test in order to better understand his own identity and circumstance, so was this Not entirely on purpose— But actually, hy complete accident, and Just as the young gay might realize upon kissing his female friend— I realized this: Jay Pharoh to me was an incredibly beautiful human being— So incredibly beautiful, in fact, that several times during his performance— I actually wanted to cry. Cry actual tears— And while I realized that this man, As beautiful as he was— Physically, and spiritually— Aesthetically, and otherwise— Hitting all the marks in all the places that he should, There was one thing that made it feel as if, In anything at all in the world, We were incompatible. Not to say that I could put myself into the category of upper echelon women to compete over such an admired person at all— But only finally realizing something important about myself, that just so happened to be as important as the formerly unsure gay's sexuality is to him; My attraction to black men did not exist. Like I said, it was bad— Or at least, it sounds bad. But now I finally get it. This man, Who had everything I could dream of and more, Who happened to be in peak shape, At the height of his career, And incredible in every single possible way— Who was, So beautiful, in fact, inside and out— That I nearly did cry— Still wasn't someone I wanted to have sex with. Case solved. Of course, this man can do much better. That's far beyond the point; And, If there is a point at all to any of this, it's that Gender, and sexuality, and attraction are still In this time Just as much of a mystery to humanity as it's ever been, and as much as it'll ever be The theory of genetic attraction so far is entirely existent only in my mind— or perhaps even, hidden somewhere deeply in secret within my genetic code, as the closer I age toward my own maternal peak, the more spacific the traits in the opposite sex which dictate what I am and am not or will or will not be attracted to sexually. Does that make me a racist any more than a homosexual's explicit desires to see a same-gendered person over the opposite makes them a mysognoist or otherwise? #karmageddon And while I've struggled in my cellibacy to adapt to a changing world, realizing that my viewpoints and beliefs, my code of ethics and even my own morals have become somewhat obsolete that, I'm forced to recon, alongside with my non-binary assignment, that the need to procreate as a female, a natural phenomenon and this desire for change within the current genetic predisposition Is something like homosexuality, in that My particular genetic code And the particular genetic code of my potential mate rests with the knowledge that my own intrinsic sexual attraction or converse aversion to one determination over another is in part due to the structure of evolution within our species with the higher purpose of creating offspring more likely to survive and succeed within the world's consistently changing climate—sociologically and otherwise. What in the fuck does this have to do with comedy?! Nothing, this is the equivalent of the recently self-realized gay man having an overaggrandized and theatrical coming-out So what are you coming out with exactly? I don't know. I just like white dudes. That's it? Yeah. . . . #floatingfastdays [The Festival Project ™] That's it?! Yeah. “I like white dudes.” Only white dudes. That's all you were trying to say? Not trying to say. I said it. Like, scientifically, and shit. Are you serious? I want one. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © C

14. [Coffee & Tea.]

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 94:54

So, you built this, huh? I certainly must have, at some point. All by yourself. I highly doubt. You just considerably know yourself well to have brought yourself here— Or not. Let's just say, I really uh— Fuck, I blacked out, Tied one on the night before. Oh, God. And the day before— Oh, well. Hello, t there. I—uh— And the night before the day before. Christ. All I'm saying is, for this audition you're going to want to keep it classy. Keep it—classy. Let the games begin! In those pants I could make you into anything In these jeans it seems there may indeed be a reason to meet me, and maybe Just maybe If we're playing the same game. You may see me, And we will play together— For eternity. What exact the fuck game are you playing with this guy? I don't remember. Drunken Posers. FUCHK. I hate this game' I love this GAME. Jett How am I supposed to find this tiny Drew Barrymore, before 6 o clock tonight You're going to have to find a way— You might try here What Or here What! How am I supposed to know which kid she is You'll remember her—she'll remember you Yeah, whatever Oh, and another thing— She'll be so cute you want to die. Oh god Hey kid. I've got some new for ya -“[a very tiny Drew Barry otte screams at the top of her lungs] Rig it in time, bro And right in timbre TIMBRE Look, this has been moved up the ladder some. Excuse me? Chain of command. Are you telling me, that I somehow outrank— This fool. This fool. Ugh. In the Illuminati? *shrugs* She outranks me. Dang, dude. What are you gonna do? Nothing, I guess. That's not an answer. SUNNI! What. WHAT HAPPENED?! I don't know. That is NOT an answer. We wear black in winter. Well, at least I got the dress code right… Welcome To New York. We wear black in winter. Walk at a fast pace into oncoming traffic. Every. Single. Thing. Is a— Speeding Silver— Bullet. (If you catch it, [you can]try to paint it gold. Toucan Sam I will tell you- I will tell you— I will tell you again. You don't exist, It's moot that I don't exist. It's that I'm extract l. L l It's that I'm extinct Okay, look; this is— not what you're used to. What am I used to? You're a Piglet. Eeyore. Where's Pooh? Probably with Tigger. Well. Well. I guess it's just—us—then. … … [beat] (A long, heavy pause for dramatic effect) F—-ck this is awkward. Producer foods: P B & J Check. And almond butter. Nice. This is horrible. But here it goes. What is. Here it goes: Noodles. Check. soy sauce? Yessir. Steak. Check. Scissors. Check. [beat] Uh. Mau5. WHAT CHICKEN. why does he have a cat named chicken! We're about to find out. What are the scissors for? Exit, exit now. Why? FUDGE. HOT FUDGE. Damn, Dillon. wtf. Flashback: (Listening to Dillon Francis on heavy rotation at acid-level synesthesia) *smacks lisp* @9@ lol okay ***smacks lips*** Does this taste sweet to you? I still see that one cereal box and get reminded of Dillon Francis a lot. Facts. Ketchup. Facts. Vanilla Soy Milk Correct. Out of all the comedians I studied, Jay Pharoah was my new favorite. Yes, my new favorite comedian. There were the old favorites— The classics, if you will. You know Bernie Mac, Kat Williams, Robin Williams— And this, by the way, is in no particular order— Eddie Murphy Cedric— (Sorry I thought you were dead, broh.) Cereal. Yup. Two kinds! Teriyaki—for the noodles? Did I not mention that with the soy sauce already? It should be maybe like included with the soy sauce. No, its seperate. Dane Cook. Really dawg, come on. Richard Pryor. Titans, broh, titans. PERCIUS Yo. NO. NOO—NO. Shut up. I gotta tell you something. *screaming girlie* NO. Shut up! I told you all along. No you didn't! She—cannot—be trusted! You encouraged it! You—don't tell me what I did— You did that! You just worry about what you did— What I did?! What you've done!! What— Oh god. Oh jeez. Oh, shit, son!! I gotta get goin. Wait, you're right: where is Liz? Good question. This is not safe. This cannot be safe. It's not safe. This is not KOSHER. What's it matter to you? It SO matters. Are you a Jew, now? It might suit me at this point. Or eventually, it may. What's that supposed to mean. Quiet, Liz. We're almost finished. Finished with what. Just one more *strap* Oh, great another— Shh. DOCTOR! DOCTOR. Nobody can hear you. Oh! But they will. They won't. And why not?! Because, you're a cartoon character; and even if you weren't. What are you talking about?! I'm Liz Lemon! Yes—that is—semi-correct. Semi correct?! It is fully correct! Elizabeth Lemon would be fully correct— by definition. What—what are you doing? Preparing for takeoff. Takeoff?! Where are you sending me. Takeoff from The Migos feels a small pull in his heart, and a ringing in his ears, as he becomes the first living Migo to be mentioned in the festival project. Huh. {Enter The Multiverse} First of all, his Skrillex impression l— Spot on. Because yes, As we all know— Those of us who were there to watch Skrillex Personally sign on to The Illuminati Via Justin Bieber— Nothing so quite remarkably Brought back its pungent memory— The song that in one phrase, Both started and ended it all, Than Jay Pharoh's own memorandum, A representation by impression, Of this particular sound, Known lovingly otherwise as “Skrillex” And however, was the Pause What in the fuck did I just see. Oh, that's just Skrillex . I knew it was you. Yes, yes you did… Okay— Now. Now where are you going to go? I don't know. That's not an answer. Oh god. Right. It's just a bodiless fuckin Like an orb. That's what you'd call that? I'd call it more of like A florecent, gellatenous— Presently, yes— Blob, of sorts. Oh shit. This bitch said “bomb” and Kamala in the same sentence. lol. Yikes. She finna be famous, on accident. Probably on purpose, but if it was gonna be on accident— it'd be because of that. You right. Man, I'm fuckin ba— —ked. kettle chips. I love those. How are they kettle chips if they're baked. *shrugs* I dunno. Damn. Alright. That nigga is fine as fuck. Dont we all know it. Get him the fuck out of my face. Whatchu mean?! It's eye candy. I don't eat candy! Unless it's spelled with a k and made of letters! Okay Alright —and even then and only then will I eat it if I am inexplicably drunk or in any other way otherwise intoxicated. Ok, damn. Ok Sunnï. Now, get that nugga out of my eyesight. He's not He's not technically “in your eyesight” EVEN MY PERIPHERIAL. Ok. AND NY FORESIGHT, and my HINDSIGHT OK. Ok Sunnï. AND MY FORESKIN, AND MY FOREHEAD AND NY FORESHADOWING— LOOK. JUST GET HIM OUT OF MY LIFE OUT OF LIFE the whole life OUT MY LIFE. Ok. On it. Two minutes to wrap this up Before the fast of the century Falls flat on its face Like the rice noodles I'm about to stuff your face with Pronto the moment You arrive back in your body Where am I now? At a rave. (In the bathtub) Which is—accurate? Which isn't? [A Cult Classic] Around 1:30 we rendezvous Until, that is, This posts, with the rest of them And as of then, We'll meet again, At another time (Set no reminders) Cameras flash and shines the diamond. Is that it? Yeah, I thinks so. Are you sure? I mean, produce stuff. Peppers, onions, whatever. —are you sure? Yeah, that's it. Are you serious? What? What's wrong. Where's the Jimmy Fallon's? What?! (They're gonna kill me for this) Playtoy, plaything Gets old real l quick It's love, not lust Gets home round ten Get up round 6 Makes the round. Wraps a towel around his head Writes love on her arm It's a real nice story, If you're surviving the apocalypse. Lips, lips, yeah Lipstick, lipstick Golden charriots And Blondish wigs sis Since when did you get hip Since hip replacement No birthday presents; But it's too late, isn't it? It really is, it really is It's too late, isn't it It really is, it really is —but, it's too late, isn't it. I want you to watch this. What is it. Not sure yet. Uhm, okay: See you later. What, you're not going to watch it with me? You're gonna need a professional fluffer. Call my agent and my lawyer. Aren't they the same guy? What?! NO! *shrugs* What the fuck is wrong with everybody! Sorry imm late! Hey tigger. Tigger. It is I. Where's Pooh. How should I know? We thought he was with you. Who is we —? Us, And what do I look like—his keeper? Do the Charlie Brown. What?! Do the Charlie Brown! What? Like wawahwahwa?? No! Idiot! The dance. The what. Do the dance?! I don't know what that is. What. What the fuck. I thought you was supposed to be funny. I am! I was. But you don't know how to Charlie Brown I know how to Charlie Brown! I just did the “wahwahwa” That's the teacher! Man, shut up! You—what?! There's a dance! I didn't know there's a dance! What the fuck, man. You lose, dawg. What do you want from me?! Hold on! Boss. What?! He don't know how to do the Charlie Brown. What. I said. That nigga don't know how do to the Charlie Brown?! He say he don't! Man— Man!!! I said! Shoot that nigga! Jay Pharoh, another notable SNL alumni, however From the wonder years in which I had really never watched, but only glossed under in curiosity— Just so happened to be the definitive test of my overall attraction to members of my own “race” classification— And an incredible impressionist— Maybe even the best, ever. But here, let me explain the first part. I realized that simply, watching his performance , That I was certainly not— Nor might I ever be— Attracted to black men. Yes, indeed. Jay Pharoh stood as the equivalent of The girl the gay guy kisses passionately in order attempt to achieve arousal from such an act, by this, I mean: That I watched this stand up performance as a straight female, fellow performer, and sapiosexual— In knowing and understanding that, I was watching this man, as I had many others, Doing something I found incredibly attractive— Actually, almost irresistible— Performance art; Live performance art— Better yet, Stand up comedy, which I have yet to have fully broken the code—meaning that this act— An illusive mystery to me as to how exactly it is practiced; Whereas with music the viel has since been lifted— There still exists a certain type of magic in the act of performing stand up comedy, especially to large audiences. And so, in the sense that Jay Pharoh—a notable SNL alumni, an incredible performer and with the added bonus of being an extremely attractive and accomplished fellow l— There should be some kind of —you know— Erotic spark involved in watching this performance;such as the young gay man uses his willing perceivably attractive female friend as a practice test in order to better understand his own identity and circumstance, so was this Not entirely on purpose— But actually, hy complete accident, and Just as the young gay might realize upon kissing his female friend— I realized this: Jay Pharoh to me was an incredibly beautiful human being— So incredibly beautiful, in fact, that several times during his performance— I actually wanted to cry. Cry actual tears— And while I realized that this man, As beautiful as he was— Physically, and spiritually— Aesthetically, and otherwise— Hitting all the marks in all the places that he should, There was one thing that made it feel as if, In anything at all in the world, We were incompatible. Not to say that I could put myself into the category of upper echelon women to compete over such an admired person at all— But only finally realizing something important about myself, that just so happened to be as important as the formerly unsure gay's sexuality is to him; My attraction to black men did not exist. Like I said, it was bad— Or at least, it sounds bad. But now I finally get it. This man, Who had everything I could dream of and more, Who happened to be in peak shape, At the height of his career, And incredible in every single possible way— Who was, So beautiful, in fact, inside and out— That I nearly did cry— Still wasn't someone I wanted to have sex with. Case solved. Of course, this man can do much better. That's far beyond the point; And, If there is a point at all to any of this, it's that Gender, and sexuality, and attraction are still In this time Just as much of a mystery to humanity as it's ever been, and as much as it'll ever be The theory of genetic attraction so far is entirely existent only in my mind— or perhaps even, hidden somewhere deeply in secret within my genetic code, as the closer I age toward my own maternal peak, the more spacific the traits in the opposite sex which dictate what I am and am not or will or will not be attracted to sexually. Does that make me a racist any more than a homosexual's explicit desires to see a same-gendered person over the opposite makes them a mysognoist or otherwise? #karmageddon And while I've struggled in my cellibacy to adapt to a changing world, realizing that my viewpoints and beliefs, my code of ethics and even my own morals have become somewhat obsolete that, I'm forced to recon, alongside with my non-binary assignment, that the need to procreate as a female, a natural phenomenon and this desire for change within the current genetic predisposition Is something like homosexuality, in that My particular genetic code And the particular genetic code of my potential mate rests with the knowledge that my own intrinsic sexual attraction or converse aversion to one determination over another is in part due to the structure of evolution within our species with the higher purpose of creating offspring more likely to survive and succeed within the world's consistently changing climate—sociologically and otherwise. What in the fuck does this have to do with comedy?! Nothing, this is the equivalent of the recently self-realized gay man having an overaggrandized and theatrical coming-out So what are you coming out with exactly? I don't know. I just like white dudes. That's it? Yeah. . . . #floatingfastdays [The Festival Project ™] That's it?! Yeah. “I like white dudes.” Only white dudes. That's all you were trying to say? Not trying to say. I said it. Like, scientifically, and shit. Are you serious? I want one. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

609. Heracles y la cierva (mito Milenials)

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 6:25

Hacer click aquí para enviar sus comentarios a este cuento.Juan David Betancur Fernandezelnarradororal@gmail.comHoy continuamos con heracles o Hercules según los romanos. Y continuamos con una más de la tareitas que el rey euristeo le estaba poniendo a Heracles para que espiara el pecado de habar matado a su familia. Así que sigamos contando. Había una vez un tal Heracles que según dicen era el GOAT y que estaba cumpliendo con las tareas que le ponían y que en esa época simplemente eran casi que imposibles.. Pues el hijito de Zeus estaba de muy buena vibra cuando llego a contarle a su boss que había matado a la hidra de lerna y este Euristeo que estaba siendo asusado por Hera con h, le dijo. Así ahora te va tocar ir a cazar la cierva de Cerinitia. Heracles que ya se estaba creyendo la ultima cocacola del desierto pensó. Easy peasy sto si es muy fácil espere y vera como voy la cazo y la traigo antes de que se ponga el sol. Y salió a la carrerita para Enoe que era donde le habían dicho que vivía la tal Ciervita. Lo que no le dijeron y que fue averiguando a medida que iba de camino a cazarla es que la tal ciervita no era para nada pequeña…. Era más grande que enorme más alta que cualquier caballo y más fuerte que cualquier toro. La cierva era una de las cinco ciervas que artemisa o diana para los romanos que era la hermana de apolo había encontrado mientras salia a cazar, pues resulta que cuando artemisa vio a las cinco cierva pudo cazar 4 pero esta que era la más fiera y veloz se le escapo. La ciervas eran hermosas y tenían una cornamenta de oro (ok sus papas le van a decir que las ciervas no tienen cornamenta pero esta si lo tenían y doradas). Lo cierto es que esta cierva vivía a sus anchas en el monte Cerinia y artemisa había dado orden que nadie, absolutamente nadie la podía tocar. Que la cierva estaría consagrado a ella y que cualquiera que la tocara, hiriera o matara cometeria un pecado tenaz. Y que ella no lo perdonaría. Era tal la obsesión de la diosa artemisa que le mando a poner un collar que decía que estaba dedicada a Artemisa. Pero Heracles que ya se había enfrentado a leones y a hidra pensó …. Noo si esto pan comido. Esta hoy mismo la cojo y listo. Llego pues Heracles y cuando la vio pastando calmadamente se le avalanzo, pero la cierva era muy fregada y alcanzo a olerlo, Que no creemos que fuera difícil si contamos que el dios no se banaba mucho y tenía una piel de leon encima. Bueno resulta que la cierva lo olio y puso pies en polvorosa. Como quien dice le hizo un ghosting versión clásica. Se le desaparecio en un santiamén. Y ahí comenzó el baile. Heracles comenzó a perseguirla cual Stalker , se dice que le revisaba el Instagram para saber donde estaba y que estaba haciendo y ahí mismo corría para allá.. Pero nada cuando se le acercaba ya la cierva se había pisado para otro lugar. Así que el trabajito que inicialmente Heracles pensaba que iba a ser bien fácil se le complico y dicen que se demoro más de una ano en la perseguidera. Y el que pensaba que lo iba a ser en un solo día. Es que la ciervita si le salió de lo más de retrechera Pues de tanto perseguirla y perseguirla finalmente logro acorrararla en la arcadia del Peloponeso en la antigua Grecia. Pues allí le cayo Heracles a la cierva y como le habían advertido que si le hacia dano la diosa artemisa lo castigaria decicio atraparla simplemente decidio enviarle una flecha a una de sus patas y allí la incapacito. Luego con mucho cuidado la cogio para no lastimarla y se la cargo en sus hombros y cogio para donde Euristeo. Pero en pleno camino se encontró con artemisa y con apolo. Y los dos he

goat pero era hacer luego pues zeus stalker hercules hab mito grecia hera llego tarea heracles griego artemisa milenials noo peloponeso cierva

numinous

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 2:09

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for October 10, 2024 is: numinous • NOO-muh-nus • adjective Numinous is a formal, often literary, word that typically describes things that have a mysterious or spiritual quality. It can also describe something holy or something that appeals to one's aesthetic sense. // We were overcome by the numinous atmosphere of the catacombs. // The artist's sculptures dominate the space, their numinous presence welcoming museum-goers to a foreign world. See the entry > Examples: “The breakthrough for me was the idea of embedding the hymnlike harmonies of Charles Ives's sublime ‘The Unanswered Question' within my music. Ives gives this hushed hymn to a string orchestra, playing pianississimo throughout. A lone trumpet, seeming to come from another planet, asks ‘the question' repeatedly—five notes without a text but full of numinous meaning.” — John Adams, The New Yorker, 4 Dec. 2023 Did you know? When people of the 1600s were ruminating on an adjective to reflect their awe of the mystical and supernatural elements of their experiences, they gave the nod to numinous, and quite aptly so. Numinous comes from the Latin word numen, which can mean both “a nod of the head” and “divine will,” the latter sense suggesting a figurative divine nod indicating approval or command. (English users were already using the noun numen, a direct borrowing from Latin, to refer to a spiritual force or influence associated with a particular place or phenomenon.) Numinous is not a common or everyday word, which seems fitting for one used to describe what is far from quotidian, and instead part of the realm of the spiritual, the holy, or the transcendent.

english language latin new yorker webster dictionary vocabulary john adams merriam webster unanswered questions ives word of the day merriam numinous charles ives noo

Ranting and Raving.

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 84:11

The Festival Project™ and it's subsidiary Non-Profit, The Collective Complex © aims to challenge modern artistic and philosophical ideals, break commonplace barriers, forage new creative mediums, and provoke inspired and reformed thought and actions toward evolution and overall societal improvement through a new-wave and post-modern, avant-garde and philanthropic hyperawareness driven by a unique culture of global values mediating global respect and preservation via open consciousness, multi-sensory and synesthetic (multi-preceptory) expansions of sound, language, vibration, movement, color, emotion, and ritual governed conceptually by the aspect(s) of love, truth, unity, understanding, and peace. Support The Fesival Project's Artistic Revolution I don't know why that picture lights me up–it just does. –so I keep it; And it's weird that I keep it, But i love it– No face tattoos, Or flashing lights, Or bubbling blondes– It's just me, And the music– Pulling me closer to that thing I love, still dragging one foot left behind, As If i'll ever catch up in a race, I was born To have already lost. Suddenly, it felt as if being in the water was the only way anymore of being connected to nature. One mustn't tamper with the free will of others, as this breaks the intrinsic morale code by which all magicians must adhere to with intent focus, as to not to disrupt the balance of nature, but to coincide with it harmoniously as to manifest all outcomes for the greater good of oneself, and the betterment of others. One must practice in peace and kindness, as to promote with the sense of ritual, the force of wellbeing, respect, gratitude, and kindness — as not with the infliction as to force one another or control others by circumstance or possession, but with reflection within one's own self to guide with spirit, the forces of nature, and the powerful endowment of light and love, to fortify one's sense of ritual invocation of righteousness, humility, intuition, higher knowledge, enlightenment, influence, illumination and wisdom, as to better steengthen the bonds between one another in the material realm, and within the spiritual and cosmic realms, in order to better understand with total compassion and comprehension the origins, date, and destiny of humankind and the extraterrestrial and metaphysical presence of forces of energy, creation, and —the practitioner guide to ritual occultism for medicinal and holistic healing (Well work out a title later) Anyone should well know that the intentional casting of any and all white magic spells or rituals will automatically forage a counter-attack towards any sender of negative energy, misfortune, or ill intent— not as a direct form of attack or harm by the medicinal practitioner itself, but rather, acting as a shield against dark forces, hidden and evil spirits, demonic energies and otherwise unfriendly forces of disruptive and unwelcome nature. Though the medicinal practice of magic begins in understanding that duality and balance within the material realms— light and dark, or sometimes even ‘good' and ‘bad' are part of existence in entirety, encompassing all forms of energy, and that one does not truly or wholly exist without the other—however—- within the clarity of enlightenment, one can assume and expect lower vibrational, differeing frequency, or less conscious energies to become attracted to or try to attach itself, or themselves, to higher forms of light and energy. It it within this medicinal practice of awareness that steps can and should be taken to protect oneself against mischief in the event of unwelcome sources of unwanted energy taking away from, or hindering one's own health, wellness, perception, and gaining of insight and wisdom. There are, here, hidden realms of truth and wisdom; Engagements within the immaterial circumstances which surround our involvement with each other as a species, in which one can interact with thought forms of another kind, create bonds and energetic ties out of the bounds of worldly involvement, link chains within a network of intergalactic travel, time sequencing or manipulation of such perceptions of ‘future,' , past, and presence, and create space within an infinite realm of concousness, inter dimensional mapscaping, movement within the interior and exterior grids of existence (where most things take place) Last night I thought I was ordering my last meal. A double quarter pounder with cheese and extra onions, a large fry and a vanilla shake. My favorite. I had a horrible conversation with my mother, which ended with her screaming at the top of her lungs at me, “ just—die, die, die!” And I wanted to. Then I thought about the prisoners on death row, how they're asked what they want their last meal to be before they're put to death. I thought of my favorite episode from my favorite show, where my favorite character ordered a fried chicken dinner. I thought—“If that were me, I'd probably want McDonald's.” So, I drove to McDonald's, I ordered my favorite meal, and I ate it sadly as I thought about how exactly I would try to go about killing myself. I never thought of a way that wouldn't destroy this place for the next tenant...before I fell asleep, dreamless and tortured by my very own thoughts. I woke up this morning wondering what today would bring—more pity, or hope. Sweet cream and butter/sugar flavored wheat thins lol I would eat that. You'd eat anything. I can be skinny in 48 hours— But you'll always be an asshole. How many you want? How many you got? I hate these back door deals… Stop being such a [censored] [censored] Woah, man! I'm still under contract with NBC. I [censored] guess! I thought you got fired. Why do you still have a censor? He works for my wife. Look, I'm willing to admit, I have an addiction To midsections and midwives And mediocre mistresses. I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say. YOU BURNT MY CREAMNOF WHEAT. Did you get the— Yeah I got the— Well, there is it? I gots to go offline to listen to— —ahh, don't— shut up It goes offline to listen to Skrillex. It's okay. ITS NOT OKAY. It's okay! ITS NOT OKAY. THAT WAS THE LAST OF IT. It's—it's okay! —it's not okay. ITS NOT OKAY. WE'RE ALL THREE MAD FAMOUS IN THIS DIMENTION. Like, dumb famous. LIKE DUMB FAMOUS. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AND GET MORE? —no..no. Nah dat. THATS RIGHT. SO FUCK YOU. It's just cream of wheat. ITSNOTJUSTCREAMOFWHEAT. —it is, technically. Dude, shut up. I'm gonna fucking—- kill you. My lips are buzzing. I smell purple… Seriously, don't—try to kill him— while he's using my body. This is immortality; I'm sure you'll find a way back! I'm not “using” your body, I'm stuck. Don't make it sound gross. —yeah, but this isn't an infinite dimension. You're gross anyway. You smell like beer farts. —well, you smell like corn syrup. —impossiblé. My protein powder has no artificial sweeteners. *flips hair* Ugh. Horrible. Look. Why don't we just order more groceries on line, or something. I saw the movie! What, you saw the movie? I saw the movie. That's crazy. I also saw the movie. Okay. Okay? So it's a budget flick. Hehe. —it's a budget flick? Yep. Alright—I love those! [literally the cheapest shit you ever saw] When the fear falls off, And the others go over your shoulder, But you're the one to tumble In the over, under Over under Hello, I'll be right there Hello, I'm back again (Hello) I can't feel much, But i'm back again I'm sure the full feel Will kick back in Will kick back in soon, so Tune in, Chill out Keel over, But don't let it kill you Is that appealing enough To appeal you Is that hypnotic enough To heal you? Hello. The drummer keeps himself calm, With a couple rolls just to check his pulse Looking up at God, Like what do you want A spot on the show The name of the bassist, A way to get Kurt back without swallowing a Hearthrob She's dressed up like us, But she's not like up She's dressed up, But she's not like us She could be up here, But she won't like it The song was a story The storm had passed, Wanted the studio tour, And I got that I'll be right back, I'll be right there Get it right, God Blow you whole chance Okay, Jimmy Fallon. Ah huh. I can do your job. Uh huh. Lets see if you can do mine. That can happen. Meanwhile, At Rockerfeller Plaza LOOK OUT BELOW. CHRISTSCICLES. WHERE'S THE TREE?? THERE'S NO TREE. THIS IS JULY. Where's the time machine. When are we!? HELLO> NOO. THERE S/HE IS [Rollerskating away as quickie as possible; Attepmpts to jump barrier –fails– Recovers. GET BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? [Running furiously away on roller skates YOu suck at this. What. Bro. I thought Skrillex was the greatest shapeshifter of all time. I am Skrillex, though. Besides. I CAN TELL THAT'S YOU. It's not me. I CAN SEE YOU, JIMMY. I'm SHAPESHIFTER. SHAPE-SHIFTING. Nahhh. Youu– stop doing this. Stop doing what. You know what. I don't know. You're gonna get me in trouble with the Network. I own the network. AHA. Dammit . YOU LOSE. SUCKAH. Shut up. You're drunk. UGH. [Rollerskate chase scene.] (A montage, obviously) GET BACK HERE. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. Where are you gonna go! SOMEWHERE! You can't run up stairs in rollerskates. I CAN. AND I WILL. [Does, but gets to the top of the stairs and fails miserably. ] EVERYBODY Oooh! [Recovers.] I'm okay!. GET HIM/ GET HER GET “THEM” –that's so stupid. GET IT. GET IT. GET IT! CUT TO: [Outside the door.] GET IT, JIMMY! GET IT. CUT TO : [Inside] [Don't worry. they're just playing video games.] Lol that is funny. But i can't write that. just –write it. No way, dawg. Just– Just– No way– Pay me first. Then it really sounds bad. Shut up and eat your ice cream, JImmy Fallon. {Jimmy Fallon is eating his own ice cream.] EW. lol What the fuck flavor is that anyway? Idk. “The Tonight Dough” I learned not to cry, By the time I got to you, and Sometimes I wonder why I just can't write a song these days The words come, But the music's gone It's just motorcycles and Loveless nights Sleeping on top of the covers Something about tennis, I don't remember Should have done something More special than script this I'm just the luckiest bitch alive To live alone I should be thriving I don't want more in the world than a quiet road to calm my inward soul White world: White girls Big perks My curse I got it out of the mud I fished a world out the trash I got roaches on motorcycles Roaches on motorcycles {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

pretty in pink.

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 4:56

When the fear falls off, And the others go over your shoulder, But you're the one to tumble In the over, under Over under Hello, I'll be right there Hello, I'm back again (Hello) I can't feel much, But i'm back again I'm sure the full feel Will kick back in Will kick back in soon, so Tune in, Chill out Keel over, But don't let it kill you Is that appealing enough To appeal you Is that hypnotic enough To heal you? Hello. The drummer keeps himself calm, With a couple rolls just to check his pulse Looking up at God, Like what do you want A spot on the show The name of the bassist, A way to get Kurt back without swallowing a Hearthrob She's dressed up like us, But she's not like up She's dressed up, But she's not like us She could be up here, But she won't like it The song was a story The storm had passed, Wanted the studio tour, And I got that I'll be right back, I'll be right there Get it right, God Blow you whole chance Okay, Jimmy Fallon. Ah huh. I can do your job. Uh huh. Lets see if you can do mine. That can happen. Meanwhile, At Rockerfeller Plaza LOOK OUT BELOW. CHRISTSCICLES. WHERE'S THE TREE?? THERE'S NO TREE. THIS IS JULY. Where's the time machine. When are we!? HELLO> NOO. THERE S/HE IS [Rollerskating away as quickie as possible; Attepmpts to jump barrier –fails– Recovers. GET BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? [Running furiously away on roller skates YOu suck at this. What. Bro. I thought Skrillex was the greatest shapeshifter of all time. I am Skrillex, though. Besides. I CAN TELL THAT'S YOU. It's not me. I CAN SEE YOU, JIMMY. I'm SHAPESHIFTER. SHAPE-SHIFTING. Nahhh. Youu– stop doing this. Stop doing what. You know what. I don't know. You're gonna get me in trouble with the Network. I own the network. AHA. Dammit . YOU LOSE. SUCKAH. Shut up. You're drunk. UGH. [Rollerskate chase scene.] (A montage, obviously) GET BACK HERE. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. Where are you gonna go! SOMEWHERE! You can't run up stairs in rollerskates. I CAN. AND I WILL. [Does, but gets to the top of the stairs and fails miserably. ] EVERYBODY Oooh! [Recovers.] I'm okay!. GET HIM/ GET HER GET “THEM” –that's so stupid. GET IT. GET IT. GET IT! CUT TO: [Outside the door.] GET IT, JIMMY! GET IT. CUT TO : [Inside] [Don't worry. they're just playing video games.] Lol that is funny. But i can't write that. just –write it. No way, dawg. Just– Just– No way– Pay me first. Then it really sounds bad. Shut up and eat your ice cream, JImmy Fallon. {Jimmy Fallon is eating his own ice cream.] EW. lol What the fuck flavor is that anyway? Idk. “The Tonight Dough” I learned not to cry, By the time I got to you, and Sometimes I wonder why I just can't write a song these days The words come, But the music's gone It's just motorcycles and Loveless nights Sleeping on top of the covers Something about tennis, I don't remember Should have done something More special than script this I'm just the luckiest bitch alive To live alone I should be thriving I don't want more in the world than a quiet road to calm my inward soul White world: White girls Big perks My curse I got it out of the mud I fished a world out the trash I got roaches on motorcycles Roaches on motorcycles {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

Ranting and Raving.

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 84:11

The Festival Project™ and it's subsidiary Non-Profit, The Collective Complex © aims to challenge modern artistic and philosophical ideals, break commonplace barriers, forage new creative mediums, and provoke inspired and reformed thought and actions toward evolution and overall societal improvement through a new-wave and post-modern, avant-garde and philanthropic hyperawareness driven by a unique culture of global values mediating global respect and preservation via open consciousness, multi-sensory and synesthetic (multi-preceptory) expansions of sound, language, vibration, movement, color, emotion, and ritual governed conceptually by the aspect(s) of love, truth, unity, understanding, and peace. Support The Fesival Project's Artistic Revolution I don't know why that picture lights me up–it just does. –so I keep it; And it's weird that I keep it, But i love it– No face tattoos, Or flashing lights, Or bubbling blondes– It's just me, And the music– Pulling me closer to that thing I love, still dragging one foot left behind, As If i'll ever catch up in a race, I was born To have already lost. Suddenly, it felt as if being in the water was the only way anymore of being connected to nature. One mustn't tamper with the free will of others, as this breaks the intrinsic morale code by which all magicians must adhere to with intent focus, as to not to disrupt the balance of nature, but to coincide with it harmoniously as to manifest all outcomes for the greater good of oneself, and the betterment of others. One must practice in peace and kindness, as to promote with the sense of ritual, the force of wellbeing, respect, gratitude, and kindness — as not with the infliction as to force one another or control others by circumstance or possession, but with reflection within one's own self to guide with spirit, the forces of nature, and the powerful endowment of light and love, to fortify one's sense of ritual invocation of righteousness, humility, intuition, higher knowledge, enlightenment, influence, illumination and wisdom, as to better steengthen the bonds between one another in the material realm, and within the spiritual and cosmic realms, in order to better understand with total compassion and comprehension the origins, date, and destiny of humankind and the extraterrestrial and metaphysical presence of forces of energy, creation, and —the practitioner guide to ritual occultism for medicinal and holistic healing (Well work out a title later) Anyone should well know that the intentional casting of any and all white magic spells or rituals will automatically forage a counter-attack towards any sender of negative energy, misfortune, or ill intent— not as a direct form of attack or harm by the medicinal practitioner itself, but rather, acting as a shield against dark forces, hidden and evil spirits, demonic energies and otherwise unfriendly forces of disruptive and unwelcome nature. Though the medicinal practice of magic begins in understanding that duality and balance within the material realms— light and dark, or sometimes even ‘good' and ‘bad' are part of existence in entirety, encompassing all forms of energy, and that one does not truly or wholly exist without the other—however—- within the clarity of enlightenment, one can assume and expect lower vibrational, differeing frequency, or less conscious energies to become attracted to or try to attach itself, or themselves, to higher forms of light and energy. It it within this medicinal practice of awareness that steps can and should be taken to protect oneself against mischief in the event of unwelcome sources of unwanted energy taking away from, or hindering one's own health, wellness, perception, and gaining of insight and wisdom. There are, here, hidden realms of truth and wisdom; Engagements within the immaterial circumstances which surround our involvement with each other as a species, in which one can interact with thought forms of another kind, create bonds and energetic ties out of the bounds of worldly involvement, link chains within a network of intergalactic travel, time sequencing or manipulation of such perceptions of ‘future,' , past, and presence, and create space within an infinite realm of concousness, inter dimensional mapscaping, movement within the interior and exterior grids of existence (where most things take place) Last night I thought I was ordering my last meal. A double quarter pounder with cheese and extra onions, a large fry and a vanilla shake. My favorite. I had a horrible conversation with my mother, which ended with her screaming at the top of her lungs at me, “ just—die, die, die!” And I wanted to. Then I thought about the prisoners on death row, how they're asked what they want their last meal to be before they're put to death. I thought of my favorite episode from my favorite show, where my favorite character ordered a fried chicken dinner. I thought—“If that were me, I'd probably want McDonald's.” So, I drove to McDonald's, I ordered my favorite meal, and I ate it sadly as I thought about how exactly I would try to go about killing myself. I never thought of a way that wouldn't destroy this place for the next tenant...before I fell asleep, dreamless and tortured by my very own thoughts. I woke up this morning wondering what today would bring—more pity, or hope. Sweet cream and butter/sugar flavored wheat thins lol I would eat that. You'd eat anything. I can be skinny in 48 hours— But you'll always be an asshole. How many you want? How many you got? I hate these back door deals… Stop being such a [censored] [censored] Woah, man! I'm still under contract with NBC. I [censored] guess! I thought you got fired. Why do you still have a censor? He works for my wife. Look, I'm willing to admit, I have an addiction To midsections and midwives And mediocre mistresses. I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say. YOU BURNT MY CREAMNOF WHEAT. Did you get the— Yeah I got the— Well, there is it? I gots to go offline to listen to— —ahh, don't— shut up It goes offline to listen to Skrillex. It's okay. ITS NOT OKAY. It's okay! ITS NOT OKAY. THAT WAS THE LAST OF IT. It's—it's okay! —it's not okay. ITS NOT OKAY. WE'RE ALL THREE MAD FAMOUS IN THIS DIMENTION. Like, dumb famous. LIKE DUMB FAMOUS. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AND GET MORE? —no..no. Nah dat. THATS RIGHT. SO FUCK YOU. It's just cream of wheat. ITSNOTJUSTCREAMOFWHEAT. —it is, technically. Dude, shut up. I'm gonna fucking—- kill you. My lips are buzzing. I smell purple… Seriously, don't—try to kill him— while he's using my body. This is immortality; I'm sure you'll find a way back! I'm not “using” your body, I'm stuck. Don't make it sound gross. —yeah, but this isn't an infinite dimension. You're gross anyway. You smell like beer farts. —well, you smell like corn syrup. —impossiblé. My protein powder has no artificial sweeteners. *flips hair* Ugh. Horrible. Look. Why don't we just order more groceries on line, or something. I saw the movie! What, you saw the movie? I saw the movie. That's crazy. I also saw the movie. Okay. Okay? So it's a budget flick. Hehe. —it's a budget flick? Yep. Alright—I love those! [literally the cheapest shit you ever saw] When the fear falls off, And the others go over your shoulder, But you're the one to tumble In the over, under Over under Hello, I'll be right there Hello, I'm back again (Hello) I can't feel much, But i'm back again I'm sure the full feel Will kick back in Will kick back in soon, so Tune in, Chill out Keel over, But don't let it kill you Is that appealing enough To appeal you Is that hypnotic enough To heal you? Hello. The drummer keeps himself calm, With a couple rolls just to check his pulse Looking up at God, Like what do you want A spot on the show The name of the bassist, A way to get Kurt back without swallowing a Hearthrob She's dressed up like us, But she's not like up She's dressed up, But she's not like us She could be up here, But she won't like it The song was a story The storm had passed, Wanted the studio tour, And I got that I'll be right back, I'll be right there Get it right, God Blow you whole chance Okay, Jimmy Fallon. Ah huh. I can do your job. Uh huh. Lets see if you can do mine. That can happen. Meanwhile, At Rockerfeller Plaza LOOK OUT BELOW. CHRISTSCICLES. WHERE'S THE TREE?? THERE'S NO TREE. THIS IS JULY. Where's the time machine. When are we!? HELLO> NOO. THERE S/HE IS [Rollerskating away as quickie as possible; Attepmpts to jump barrier –fails– Recovers. GET BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? [Running furiously away on roller skates YOu suck at this. What. Bro. I thought Skrillex was the greatest shapeshifter of all time. I am Skrillex, though. Besides. I CAN TELL THAT'S YOU. It's not me. I CAN SEE YOU, JIMMY. I'm SHAPESHIFTER. SHAPE-SHIFTING. Nahhh. Youu– stop doing this. Stop doing what. You know what. I don't know. You're gonna get me in trouble with the Network. I own the network. AHA. Dammit . YOU LOSE. SUCKAH. Shut up. You're drunk. UGH. [Rollerskate chase scene.] (A montage, obviously) GET BACK HERE. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. Where are you gonna go! SOMEWHERE! You can't run up stairs in rollerskates. I CAN. AND I WILL. [Does, but gets to the top of the stairs and fails miserably. ] EVERYBODY Oooh! [Recovers.] I'm okay!. GET HIM/ GET HER GET “THEM” –that's so stupid. GET IT. GET IT. GET IT! CUT TO: [Outside the door.] GET IT, JIMMY! GET IT. CUT TO : [Inside] [Don't worry. they're just playing video games.] Lol that is funny. But i can't write that. just –write it. No way, dawg. Just– Just– No way– Pay me first. Then it really sounds bad. Shut up and eat your ice cream, JImmy Fallon. {Jimmy Fallon is eating his own ice cream.] EW. lol What the fuck flavor is that anyway? Idk. “The Tonight Dough” I learned not to cry, By the time I got to you, and Sometimes I wonder why I just can't write a song these days The words come, But the music's gone It's just motorcycles and Loveless nights Sleeping on top of the covers Something about tennis, I don't remember Should have done something More special than script this I'm just the luckiest bitch alive To live alone I should be thriving I don't want more in the world than a quiet road to calm my inward soul White world: White girls Big perks My curse I got it out of the mud I fished a world out the trash I got roaches on motorcycles Roaches on motorcycles {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

pretty in pink.

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 4:56

When the fear falls off, And the others go over your shoulder, But you're the one to tumble In the over, under Over under Hello, I'll be right there Hello, I'm back again (Hello) I can't feel much, But i'm back again I'm sure the full feel Will kick back in Will kick back in soon, so Tune in, Chill out Keel over, But don't let it kill you Is that appealing enough To appeal you Is that hypnotic enough To heal you? Hello. The drummer keeps himself calm, With a couple rolls just to check his pulse Looking up at God, Like what do you want A spot on the show The name of the bassist, A way to get Kurt back without swallowing a Hearthrob She's dressed up like us, But she's not like up She's dressed up, But she's not like us She could be up here, But she won't like it The song was a story The storm had passed, Wanted the studio tour, And I got that I'll be right back, I'll be right there Get it right, God Blow you whole chance Okay, Jimmy Fallon. Ah huh. I can do your job. Uh huh. Lets see if you can do mine. That can happen. Meanwhile, At Rockerfeller Plaza LOOK OUT BELOW. CHRISTSCICLES. WHERE'S THE TREE?? THERE'S NO TREE. THIS IS JULY. Where's the time machine. When are we!? HELLO> NOO. THERE S/HE IS [Rollerskating away as quickie as possible; Attepmpts to jump barrier –fails– Recovers. GET BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? [Running furiously away on roller skates YOu suck at this. What. Bro. I thought Skrillex was the greatest shapeshifter of all time. I am Skrillex, though. Besides. I CAN TELL THAT'S YOU. It's not me. I CAN SEE YOU, JIMMY. I'm SHAPESHIFTER. SHAPE-SHIFTING. Nahhh. Youu– stop doing this. Stop doing what. You know what. I don't know. You're gonna get me in trouble with the Network. I own the network. AHA. Dammit . YOU LOSE. SUCKAH. Shut up. You're drunk. UGH. [Rollerskate chase scene.] (A montage, obviously) GET BACK HERE. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. Where are you gonna go! SOMEWHERE! You can't run up stairs in rollerskates. I CAN. AND I WILL. [Does, but gets to the top of the stairs and fails miserably. ] EVERYBODY Oooh! [Recovers.] I'm okay!. GET HIM/ GET HER GET “THEM” –that's so stupid. GET IT. GET IT. GET IT! CUT TO: [Outside the door.] GET IT, JIMMY! GET IT. CUT TO : [Inside] [Don't worry. they're just playing video games.] Lol that is funny. But i can't write that. just –write it. No way, dawg. Just– Just– No way– Pay me first. Then it really sounds bad. Shut up and eat your ice cream, JImmy Fallon. {Jimmy Fallon is eating his own ice cream.] EW. lol What the fuck flavor is that anyway? Idk. “The Tonight Dough” I learned not to cry, By the time I got to you, and Sometimes I wonder why I just can't write a song these days The words come, But the music's gone It's just motorcycles and Loveless nights Sleeping on top of the covers Something about tennis, I don't remember Should have done something More special than script this I'm just the luckiest bitch alive To live alone I should be thriving I don't want more in the world than a quiet road to calm my inward soul White world: White girls Big perks My curse I got it out of the mud I fished a world out the trash I got roaches on motorcycles Roaches on motorcycles {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

pretty in pink.

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 4:56

pretty in pink. Collection II- 'antithesis.' Track 07. - 'pretty in pink' Prod. By Blū Tha Gürū When the fear falls off, And the others go over your shoulder, But you're the one to tumble In the over, under Over under Hello, I'll be right there Hello, I'm back again (Hello) I can't feel much, But i'm back again I'm sure the full feel Will kick back in Will kick back in soon, so Tune in, Chill out Keel over, But don't let it kill you Is that appealing enough To appeal you Is that hypnotic enough To heal you? Hello. The drummer keeps himself calm, With a couple rolls just to check his pulse Looking up at God, Like what do you want A spot on the show The name of the bassist, A way to get Kurt back without swallowing a Hearthrob She's dressed up like us, But she's not like up She's dressed up, But she's not like us She could be up here, But she won't like it The song was a story The storm had passed, Wanted the studio tour, And I got that I'll be right back, I'll be right there Get it right, God Blow you whole chance Okay, Jimmy Fallon. Ah huh. I can do your job. Uh huh. Lets see if you can do mine. That can happen. Meanwhile, At Rockerfeller Plaza LOOK OUT BELOW. CHRISTSCICLES. WHERE'S THE TREE?? THERE'S NO TREE. THIS IS JULY. Where's the time machine. When are we!? HELLO> NOO. THERE S/HE IS [Rollerskating away as quickie as possible; Attepmpts to jump barrier –fails– Recovers. GET BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? [Running furiously away on roller skates YOu suck at this. What. Bro. I thought Skrillex was the greatest shapeshifter of all time. I am Skrillex, though. Besides. I CAN TELL THAT'S YOU. It's not me. I CAN SEE YOU, JIMMY. I'm SHAPESHIFTER. SHAPE-SHIFTING. Nahhh. Youu– stop doing this. Stop doing what. You know what. I don't know. You're gonna get me in trouble with the Network. I own the network. AHA. Dammit . YOU LOSE. SUCKAH. Shut up. You're drunk. UGH. [Rollerskate chase scene.] (A montage, obviously) GET BACK HERE. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. Where are you gonna go! SOMEWHERE! You can't run up stairs in rollerskates. I CAN. AND I WILL. [Does, but gets to the top of the stairs and fails miserably. ] EVERYBODY Oooh! [Recovers.] I'm okay!. GET HIM/ GET HER GET “THEM” –that's so stupid. GET IT. GET IT. GET IT! CUT TO: [Outside the door.] GET IT, JIMMY! GET IT. CUT TO : [Inside] [Don't worry. they're just playing video games.] Lol that is funny. But i can't write that. just –write it. No way, dawg. Just– Just– No way– Pay me first. Then it really sounds bad. Shut up and eat your ice cream, JImmy Fallon. {Jimmy Fallon is eating his own ice cream.] EW. lol What the fuck flavor is that anyway? Idk. “The Tonight Dough” I learned not to cry, By the time I got to you, and Sometimes I wonder why I just can't write a song these days The words come, But the music's gone It's just motorcycles and Loveless nights Sleeping on top of the covers Something about tennis, I don't remember Should have done something More special than script this I'm just the luckiest bitch alive To live alone I should be thriving I don't want more in the world than a quiet road to calm my inward soul White world: White girls Big perks My curse I got it out of the mud I fished a world out the trash I got roaches on motorcycles Roaches on motorcycles {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

Ranting and Raving.

SMM - Single Malt Marathoners

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2024 84:11

The Festival Project™ and it's subsidiary Non-Profit, The Collective Complex © aims to challenge modern artistic and philosophical ideals, break commonplace barriers, forage new creative mediums, and provoke inspired and reformed thought and actions toward evolution and overall societal improvement through a new-wave and post-modern, avant-garde and philanthropic hyperawareness driven by a unique culture of global values mediating global respect and preservation via open consciousness, multi-sensory and synesthetic (multi-preceptory) expansions of sound, language, vibration, movement, color, emotion, and ritual governed conceptually by the aspect(s) of love, truth, unity, understanding, and peace. Support The Fesival Project's Artistic Revolution I don't know why that picture lights me up–it just does. –so I keep it; And it's weird that I keep it, But i love it– No face tattoos, Or flashing lights, Or bubbling blondes– It's just me, And the music– Pulling me closer to that thing I love, still dragging one foot left behind, As If i'll ever catch up in a race, I was born To have already lost. Suddenly, it felt as if being in the water was the only way anymore of being connected to nature. One mustn't tamper with the free will of others, as this breaks the intrinsic morale code by which all magicians must adhere to with intent focus, as to not to disrupt the balance of nature, but to coincide with it harmoniously as to manifest all outcomes for the greater good of oneself, and the betterment of others. One must practice in peace and kindness, as to promote with the sense of ritual, the force of wellbeing, respect, gratitude, and kindness — as not with the infliction as to force one another or control others by circumstance or possession, but with reflection within one's own self to guide with spirit, the forces of nature, and the powerful endowment of light and love, to fortify one's sense of ritual invocation of righteousness, humility, intuition, higher knowledge, enlightenment, influence, illumination and wisdom, as to better steengthen the bonds between one another in the material realm, and within the spiritual and cosmic realms, in order to better understand with total compassion and comprehension the origins, date, and destiny of humankind and the extraterrestrial and metaphysical presence of forces of energy, creation, and —the practitioner guide to ritual occultism for medicinal and holistic healing (Well work out a title later) Anyone should well know that the intentional casting of any and all white magic spells or rituals will automatically forage a counter-attack towards any sender of negative energy, misfortune, or ill intent— not as a direct form of attack or harm by the medicinal practitioner itself, but rather, acting as a shield against dark forces, hidden and evil spirits, demonic energies and otherwise unfriendly forces of disruptive and unwelcome nature. Though the medicinal practice of magic begins in understanding that duality and balance within the material realms— light and dark, or sometimes even ‘good' and ‘bad' are part of existence in entirety, encompassing all forms of energy, and that one does not truly or wholly exist without the other—however—- within the clarity of enlightenment, one can assume and expect lower vibrational, differeing frequency, or less conscious energies to become attracted to or try to attach itself, or themselves, to higher forms of light and energy. It it within this medicinal practice of awareness that steps can and should be taken to protect oneself against mischief in the event of unwelcome sources of unwanted energy taking away from, or hindering one's own health, wellness, perception, and gaining of insight and wisdom. There are, here, hidden realms of truth and wisdom; Engagements within the immaterial circumstances which surround our involvement with each other as a species, in which one can interact with thought forms of another kind, create bonds and energetic ties out of the bounds of worldly involvement, link chains within a network of intergalactic travel, time sequencing or manipulation of such perceptions of ‘future,' , past, and presence, and create space within an infinite realm of concousness, inter dimensional mapscaping, movement within the interior and exterior grids of existence (where most things take place) Last night I thought I was ordering my last meal. A double quarter pounder with cheese and extra onions, a large fry and a vanilla shake. My favorite. I had a horrible conversation with my mother, which ended with her screaming at the top of her lungs at me, “ just—die, die, die!” And I wanted to. Then I thought about the prisoners on death row, how they're asked what they want their last meal to be before they're put to death. I thought of my favorite episode from my favorite show, where my favorite character ordered a fried chicken dinner. I thought—“If that were me, I'd probably want McDonald's.” So, I drove to McDonald's, I ordered my favorite meal, and I ate it sadly as I thought about how exactly I would try to go about killing myself. I never thought of a way that wouldn't destroy this place for the next tenant...before I fell asleep, dreamless and tortured by my very own thoughts. I woke up this morning wondering what today would bring—more pity, or hope. Sweet cream and butter/sugar flavored wheat thins lol I would eat that. You'd eat anything. I can be skinny in 48 hours— But you'll always be an asshole. How many you want? How many you got? I hate these back door deals… Stop being such a [censored] [censored] Woah, man! I'm still under contract with NBC. I [censored] guess! I thought you got fired. Why do you still have a censor? He works for my wife. Look, I'm willing to admit, I have an addiction To midsections and midwives And mediocre mistresses. I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say. YOU BURNT MY CREAMNOF WHEAT. Did you get the— Yeah I got the— Well, there is it? I gots to go offline to listen to— —ahh, don't— shut up It goes offline to listen to Skrillex. It's okay. ITS NOT OKAY. It's okay! ITS NOT OKAY. THAT WAS THE LAST OF IT. It's—it's okay! —it's not okay. ITS NOT OKAY. WE'RE ALL THREE MAD FAMOUS IN THIS DIMENTION. Like, dumb famous. LIKE DUMB FAMOUS. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AND GET MORE? —no..no. Nah dat. THATS RIGHT. SO FUCK YOU. It's just cream of wheat. ITSNOTJUSTCREAMOFWHEAT. —it is, technically. Dude, shut up. I'm gonna fucking—- kill you. My lips are buzzing. I smell purple… Seriously, don't—try to kill him— while he's using my body. This is immortality; I'm sure you'll find a way back! I'm not “using” your body, I'm stuck. Don't make it sound gross. —yeah, but this isn't an infinite dimension. You're gross anyway. You smell like beer farts. —well, you smell like corn syrup. —impossiblé. My protein powder has no artificial sweeteners. *flips hair* Ugh. Horrible. Look. Why don't we just order more groceries on line, or something. I saw the movie! What, you saw the movie? I saw the movie. That's crazy. I also saw the movie. Okay. Okay? So it's a budget flick. Hehe. —it's a budget flick? Yep. Alright—I love those! [literally the cheapest shit you ever saw] When the fear falls off, And the others go over your shoulder, But you're the one to tumble In the over, under Over under Hello, I'll be right there Hello, I'm back again (Hello) I can't feel much, But i'm back again I'm sure the full feel Will kick back in Will kick back in soon, so Tune in, Chill out Keel over, But don't let it kill you Is that appealing enough To appeal you Is that hypnotic enough To heal you? Hello. The drummer keeps himself calm, With a couple rolls just to check his pulse Looking up at God, Like what do you want A spot on the show The name of the bassist, A way to get Kurt back without swallowing a Hearthrob She's dressed up like us, But she's not like up She's dressed up, But she's not like us She could be up here, But she won't like it The song was a story The storm had passed, Wanted the studio tour, And I got that I'll be right back, I'll be right there Get it right, God Blow you whole chance Okay, Jimmy Fallon. Ah huh. I can do your job. Uh huh. Lets see if you can do mine. That can happen. Meanwhile, At Rockerfeller Plaza LOOK OUT BELOW. CHRISTSCICLES. WHERE'S THE TREE?? THERE'S NO TREE. THIS IS JULY. Where's the time machine. When are we!? HELLO> NOO. THERE S/HE IS [Rollerskating away as quickie as possible; Attepmpts to jump barrier –fails– Recovers. GET BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO? [Running furiously away on roller skates YOu suck at this. What. Bro. I thought Skrillex was the greatest shapeshifter of all time. I am Skrillex, though. Besides. I CAN TELL THAT'S YOU. It's not me. I CAN SEE YOU, JIMMY. I'm SHAPESHIFTER. SHAPE-SHIFTING. Nahhh. Youu– stop doing this. Stop doing what. You know what. I don't know. You're gonna get me in trouble with the Network. I own the network. AHA. Dammit . YOU LOSE. SUCKAH. Shut up. You're drunk. UGH. [Rollerskate chase scene.] (A montage, obviously) GET BACK HERE. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. Where are you gonna go! SOMEWHERE! You can't run up stairs in rollerskates. I CAN. AND I WILL. [Does, but gets to the top of the stairs and fails miserably. ] EVERYBODY Oooh! [Recovers.] I'm okay!. GET HIM/ GET HER GET “THEM” –that's so stupid. GET IT. GET IT. GET IT! CUT TO: [Outside the door.] GET IT, JIMMY! GET IT. CUT TO : [Inside] [Don't worry. they're just playing video games.] Lol that is funny. But i can't write that. just –write it. No way, dawg. Just– Just– No way– Pay me first. Then it really sounds bad. Shut up and eat your ice cream, JImmy Fallon. {Jimmy Fallon is eating his own ice cream.] EW. lol What the fuck flavor is that anyway? Idk. “The Tonight Dough” I learned not to cry, By the time I got to you, and Sometimes I wonder why I just can't write a song these days The words come, But the music's gone It's just motorcycles and Loveless nights Sleeping on top of the covers Something about tennis, I don't remember Should have done something More special than script this I'm just the luckiest bitch alive To live alone I should be thriving I don't want more in the world than a quiet road to calm my inward soul White world: White girls Big perks My curse I got it out of the mud I fished a world out the trash I got roaches on motorcycles Roaches on motorcycles {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

#60 Elissa et Bertrand - Se retrouver à gérer soi-meme un chantier titanesque

Le Chantier

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2024 141:27

Pour ce nouvel épisode, j'ai rendu visite à Élissa et Bertrand, qui vivent à Marseille et viennent d'y rénover une maison. Un chantier colossal puisqu'ils ont à peine gardé gardé 3 murs pour créer la maison de leur rêve, on peut d'ailleurs presque parler de construction ! Le challenge de ce chantier était de conserver un esprit "maison ancienne" dans ces travaux, même en ayant tout démoli, et ils vous partagent leurs meilleurs conseils pour y parvenir... Mais c'était aussi et surtout de gérer tous les travaux tous seuls, puisqu'ils ont du se séparer de leur architecte au début du chantier. Heureusement, ils avaient de l'expérience et au final, tout est bien qui finit bien, mais vous allez voir que le chemin a été long et pas de tout repos pour arriver à leur objectif !Avec Élissa et Bertrand, on a parlé de plein de sujets : des quartiers de Marseille, de terrassement, de menuiseries extérieures en bois à l'ancienne, de chauffage gainable et de pompe à chaleur air/air, des aléas d'un chantier, de tomettes anciennes et de parquet neuf, de terrasse en pierre opus, de créer une piscine et un jardin, de peinture à la chaux... Mais aussi d'être complémentaire en tant que couple sur un chantier, d'ilôt de cuisine, de zelliges et de bejmat, du meilleur et du pire moment de leur chantier, et du plus grand défi qu'ils ont eu à relever. Ils partagent aussi avec vous leurs bonnes adresses rénovation et leurs conseils pour bien gérer votre chantier si vous en êtes le maître d'œuvre !Pendant que vous écoutez cet épisode, rendez-vous comme d'habitude sur le Home tour photos de la maison pour découvrir l'endroit et les Avant/après des travaux. Mais je ne vous en dis pas plus, et je laisse place à l'histoire de la maison d'Élissa et Bertrand. Bonne écoute !*****NOTES DE L'ÉPISODE******- La visite de la maison en photos : https://www.lechantierpodcast.fr/60-chez-elissa-et-bertrand- Le compte Instagram du podcast avec les Avant/après et les vidéos de la maison : @lechantierpodcast- Le compte Instagram d'Elissa : @elissa_rvgh- Merci à notre partenaire Atlantic qui soutient cet épisode ! Atlantic propose des solutions de chauffage, climatisation et ventilation pour votre rénovation, comme par exemple la pompe à chaleur air/air qu'Élissa et Bertrand ont installée chez eux et qui permet de faire de belles économies d'énergie. Si vous êtes intéressé par ces sujets pour votre projet travaux, rendez-vous sur www.atlantic.fr !- Pour finir, si vous aimez ce podcast, vous pouvez le soutenir sur Patreon à partir de 3€ par mois, y contribuer et accéder à des bonus exclusifs : rendez-vous sur patreon.com/LeChantierpodcast ! Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Episode 210 - Cotswold Way Relay Debrief

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2024 51:50

John, Kelly and Good Morning Callum talk through their week of training whilst focusing on the Cotswold Way Relay and the fact that it's coming home!We have a patron shoutout - thanks Noo!Kelly's corner, she's asking for a signing of a petition = https://chng.it/mzdmct57kdEastville 3x1mi relay this week, Odd Down 5K next week and Towpath 10K the week after thatHave a great week everyone,Cheers,The SMM Team

cheers debrief relay cotswolds noo cotswold way

La vacuna que cambió el mundo

Solo Documental

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2024 54:08

"Noo. ¿Acaso se puede patentar el Sol?" Así de ingenuo e inocente contestaba el científico Dr. Jonas Salk cuando le preguntaban si iba a patentar la (primera) vacuna más importante del mundo hasta la fecha. ¿Cómo patentar unas moléculas de bioquímica...? "Es algo que está ahí". "Es Universal. Como el Sol..." Así de natural y normal debía pensar el científico para responder si acaso podía patentarse/apropiarse del Sol... Falleció en 1995, tiempo para ver cómo se privatizaba la ciencia a medida que las élites mundiales (el Capital) se apropiaban de investigaciones científicas bajo el nombre/propiedad de Corporaciones con su adorado, idolatrado, capitalismo y piramidalismo Esta es la historia de cómo el joven Dr. Jonas Salk y su equipo de investigación en la Universidad de Pittsburgh, aúnan sus esfuerzos en la década de 1950 para derrotar la poliomielitis, la enfermedad más temida del siglo 20. Emitido un 09 de agosto de 2018 en el canal La2 de TVE (TeleVisión Española) en el programa Documenta2 Copyright 2015 País: Reino Unido Productora: BBC Production Producción: Carl Kurlander

capital pittsburgh espa el mundo sol universidad acaso vacuna cambi falleci emitido jonas salk corporaciones noo la2

553. Perseo (primera parte) (milenials)

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2024 10:05

Juan David Betancurelnarrodororal@gmail.comHoy seguiremos con la historia que veníamos contando de Zeus y Danae, pero a partir de ahora el personaje principal no es Danae ni Zeus, sino el hijo de ambos llamado Perseo. Y como veremos esto si que es de serie de streaming. Había una vez un mundo griego en que como veíamos una princesa llamada Danae había sido embarazada por Zeus convertido en lluvia de polvo dorado y ella había sido hechada al mar por su padre Acrisio y salvada por un pescador de la isla de sérifo llamado Dictis. Cuando Perseo ya estaba crecidito su madre Danae seguía siendo muy bella y el rey de la isla llamado Polidectes se enamoró locamente de ella. Pero Perseo que ya tenía uso de razón sabía por donde iba el agua al molino y sabía además que ese señor no le convenia a su mama. De hecho había visto en Instagram y en Facebook que el hombre presumia de ser un mujeriego y que además maltrataba a las mujeres. Así que se Perseo no dejaba que ese polidectes se acercara a Danae. Polidectes que tampoco era bobo se ingenio un truco para salir de Perseo y que no lo molestara más. Siendo el rey empezó a poner en Instagram que el se iba a casar con Hipodamía la hija de Enómao el rey de Pisa y que para celebrar iba a hacer una fiesta espectacular. Con DJ, con luces multicolores y con hora loca. Y que estarían invitados todos los personajes importante del jetset griego. Por alguna razón Perseo recibió el invite y save the day en su correo electrónico. Y se dijo. Que bien que me este viejo me invito. Y se preparo para ir a la fiesta. Era la constumbre en esas época que todos los invitados a una fiesta de matrimonio llevaran un caballo como regalo de bodas. Pero el pobre Perseo no tenía ningun caballo que regalar y llego a la fiesta sin nada, con las manos vacias.. Cosa que estaba muy mal vista en esa época y aún hoy. Bueno Resulta que Polidectes se aprovecho de la circunstancia y comenzó a decir que Perseo era tan pobre que no tenía ni siquiera para un regalo. Y que lo único que le recibiría de regalo era la cabeza de la gorgona medusa, pero como era tan pobreton lo más seguro no la podría conseguir. Perseo cuando oyo esto dijo. Y usted cree que yo no soy capaz de conseguir la cabeza de medusa. Ja espere y vera que se la traigo en bandeja de plata. Aquí abrimos un paréntesis para explicar que significaba eso que decía Perseo. Había en esa época 3 gorgonas llamadas Esteno, euriale y Medusa . De las 3 gorgonas Medusa era la única mortal y su mayor característica era que su pelo. No por lo lindo que lo tuviera o porque utilizara determinado shampoo. Noo más bien era porque el pelo de medusa eran serpientes que se movían alrededor de su cabeza. Su cuerpo estaba cubierto de escamas y tenía dientes de jabalí afilados con los cuales destrozaba a sus victimas. Sus brazos eran de bronce y además tenía alas doradas. En fin una bellezas de monstruos. Como Medusa era la única mortal de las tres Perseo pensó que seria fácil traer su cabeza como regalo. Pero había un pequeño detalle que era el peor de todos. Las gorgonas tenían una mirada que convertia al que ellas miraran directamente en piedra. Así de simple. Una miradita y ya de piedra. Ahora si cierro el parentesis Obviamente una cosa es decir y otra hacer y eso ese reto de traer a medusa se estaba como muy de para arriba y además el rey Polidectes aprovecho y le dijo a Perseo. Mire usted se cree muy teso… le advierto que Si no trae a la medusa yo me caso por la fuerza con su mama. Y ahí usted se queda viendo un chispero. Y como dice el dicho. Un bobo careado mata a la mama. Y Perseo salió furioso de la fiesta camino a matar a medusa para traerle la cabeza a ese viejo

pero ahora sus cosa zeus siendo hermes pisa mito medusa primera parte mire danae griego atenea milenials perseo noo

541. Zeus e IO - Primera parte (Milenials)

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2024 9:42

Juan David Betancurelnarrodororal@gmail.comHabia una vez un mundo griego en el que el dios Zeus había encontrado su media naranja en su hermana Hera con H. Como veíamos la semana pasada ambos decidieron después de 300 anos de noviazgo que ya era como hora de formalizar la relación. Así que se alquilaron el jardín de las hesperides y montaron tremendo fiestonon con miles de invitados y cientos de paparazis. Y como en todo buen matrimonio se hicieron los votos. Y Zeus juro que el le seria fiel a Hera por toda la eternidad Y como decían los abuelos más dura un pandequeso caliente a la salida de la iglesia. Resulta que recién casaditos el buen Zeus estaba caminando por uno de los jardines del olimpo cuando vio tremenda mamasita. E inmediatamente sintió que algo le subia pierna arriba. Sintió un calorcito de lo más de bueno y su corazón inmortal comenzó a agitarsele. Tenía un crush amoroso. El problema es que la muchachita que vio era nada más y nada menos que una de las sacerdotisas de Hera. Y esta siempre estaba por ahí cerquita cuando IO caminaba por entre los rosales de los jardines. Y Zeus con esa traga maluca. Así que se las ingenio y le mando a IO un sueño muy extraño. En el sueño Zeus le ordenaba a IO que se fuera para un lago llamado Lerna y que allí esperara a que Zeus apareciera. IO que no era tampoco bobita se olio algo extraño y fue y se lo contó a su padre inaco que era el dios de los ríos e hijo de el dios océano y tetis. Pues es de decirse que IO no era cualquier aparecida y además tenía una belleza de instagramer. Inaco oyo lo que su hija le contó y se fue para el oráculo de Delfos. Allí pregunto que debería hacer su hija y el oráculo más o menos le dijo. Nooo se le vaya ocurrir quedarle mal a Zeus. El es muy rencoroso y si ella no llega a tiempo a la cita ese es capaz de mandarle un rayo a su casa y hasta ahí llego usted y su familia. Así que póngase las pilas y envie esa muchareja al lago Lerna. Y así lo hicieron. Y llego el día en que IO se debía encontrar con Zeus. Y Zeus todo apasionado no veía la hora de caerle a la muchacha que lo esperaba, pero sabía que Hera lo andaba rondando siempre y se ideo un plan. Creo una nube negra de tormenta sobre el lago y así si Hera le echaba visaje no lo vería porque el estaría debajo de esa nube. Y salió todo perfumadito y acicalaito para abajo, para el lago. Pues resulta que Hera que andaba por todo el olimpo buscando a Zeus se dio cuenta que no estaba en el palacio, ni en los jardines ni en las caballerizas, ni en el cuarto de juegos, en fin el se le había perdido. Y mirando hacia el mundo de abajo vio que había una nube negra como muy sospechosa y se dijo a si misma. No me crean tan boba, esa nubecita negra y ni siquiera es temporada de lluvias. Esto tiene gato encerrado y se dirigió a mirar debajo de la nube. Mientras tanto Zeus se le había aparecido a la bonita de IO y ella sentadita debajo de un arbol chateando con sus mejores amigas, leyendo los post de Instagram y viendo alguno que otro video. Todo al mismo tiempo. Pues en esas que se le aparece Zeus todo Zeus. Así como lo presentan en las películas. Sin camisa, con un pedazo de trapo cubriéndole las partes nobles y con corona. Y ella que lo ve y casi le da un ataque. Penso. Noo que papito el que me toco. Con este si lo que sea. Y Zeus que la ve toda bonita ella y atractiva y se le acerca y la comienza a sobar todo entusiasmado y en ese preciso momento mira para arriba y ve que Hera va saliendo de la nube n

sin esto mientras pues zeus io creo mito hera primera parte resulta sinti penso griego delfos milenials noo lerna

{Gilligan's Island B-Side}

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 103:42

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

america god love women time black hollywood men work water mexico running pain professor food wild mental positive write black lives matter kanye west north dead grammy island horses survivors sun fall in love mcdonald sweden doubt raise lights skin computers spending bills shit tattoos doors lol poverty fuck environmental classic tennis pays corporations creepy gross gym homelessness suggestions copyright worked chris brown ignoring gi miley cyrus remarkable illuminati tina turner latinos black man makes approved colombian doomed demonic reminders jimmy fallon dang objective everlasting equinox fairy tales likeness hm males secondhand starving skrillex skipper snitch mary ann tik hostility get a job aw marginalized hannah montana b side 3x yah all lives matter cerrado hurry up truest white girls work harder pop ups nikes dillon francis your god tyla heavier five finger death punch afro latinos lovey irritating dictates consequential desiigner stop asian hate ney coughs zzz minnow eat it bangerz lamest act right i am god nvm noo my pleasure it hurts owsla god here america can just eat it mom you thurston howell iii anerobic

{Gilligan's Island B-Side}

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 103:42

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

america god love women time black hollywood men work water mexico running pain professor food wild mental positive write black lives matter kanye west north dead grammy island horses survivors sun fall in love mcdonald sweden doubt raise lights skin computers spending bills shit tattoos doors lol poverty fuck environmental classic tennis pays corporations creepy gross gym homelessness suggestions copyright worked chris brown ignoring gi miley cyrus remarkable illuminati tina turner latinos black man makes approved colombian doomed demonic reminders jimmy fallon dang objective everlasting equinox fairy tales likeness hm males secondhand starving skrillex skipper snitch mary ann tik hostility get a job aw marginalized hannah montana b side 3x yah all lives matter cerrado hurry up truest white girls work harder pop ups nikes dillon francis your god tyla heavier five finger death punch afro latinos irritating lovey dictates consequential desiigner stop asian hate ney coughs zzz minnow eat it bangerz lamest act right i am god nvm noo my pleasure it hurts owsla god here america can just eat it mom you thurston howell iii anerobic

{Gilligan's Island B-Side}

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 103:42

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

america god love women time black hollywood men work water mexico running pain professor food wild mental positive write black lives matter kanye west north dead grammy island horses survivors sun fall in love mcdonald sweden doubt raise lights skin computers spending bills shit tattoos doors lol poverty fuck environmental classic tennis pays corporations creepy gross gym homelessness suggestions copyright worked chris brown ignoring gi miley cyrus remarkable illuminati tina turner latinos black man makes approved colombian doomed demonic reminders jimmy fallon dang objective everlasting equinox fairy tales likeness hm males secondhand starving skrillex skipper snitch mary ann tik hostility get a job aw marginalized hannah montana b side 3x yah all lives matter cerrado hurry up truest white girls work harder pop ups nikes dillon francis your god tyla heavier five finger death punch afro latinos irritating lovey dictates consequential desiigner stop asian hate ney coughs zzz minnow eat it bangerz lamest act right i am god nvm noo my pleasure it hurts owsla god here america can just eat it mom you thurston howell iii anerobic

{Gilligan's island B-Side}

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 103:42

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

america god love women time black hollywood men work water mexico running pain professor food wild mental positive write black lives matter kanye west north dead grammy island horses survivors sun fall in love mcdonald sweden doubt raise lights skin computers spending bills shit tattoos doors lol poverty fuck environmental classic tennis pays corporations creepy gross gym homelessness suggestions copyright worked chris brown ignoring gi miley cyrus remarkable illuminati tina turner latinos black man makes approved colombian doomed demonic reminders jimmy fallon dang objective everlasting equinox fairy tales likeness hm males secondhand starving skrillex skipper snitch mary ann tik hostility get a job aw marginalized hannah montana b side 3x yah all lives matter cerrado hurry up truest white girls work harder pop ups nikes dillon francis your god tyla heavier five finger death punch afro latinos lovey irritating dictates consequential desiigner stop asian hate ney coughs zzz minnow eat it bangerz lamest act right i am god nvm noo my pleasure it hurts owsla god here america can just eat it mom you thurston howell iii anerobic

{Gilligan's Island B-Side}

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 103:42

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann. Tik tock Cause my wig rocks Big clock like Beach: I flip-flip – Got you feelin silly pick-pocketed I sky rocketed took off, of course i did horse and carriage porridg e and shit Write stories your old nightmares Might be scared of Fairytales r us there beware of us Secondhand deadmau5 (—it's like a reverb.) The wheels are turning However slowly The lights are on But they're all flickering Someone's home (Or someone's gonna be) Not sure if this works What is this atrocity. It's the original. I exacerbated the situation; Eggagerated the circumstances Circumvential quantum physics Consequential severance packages Actual reality actually (Whatever that is) Whatever happens naturally Or habitually, intrinsically Environmental enemy, Anerobic catastrophe Everlasting elastic Classic satellite image Interesting, Interateller BODY BY Ū, NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT. YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION: GET YOUR OWN IDEAS. we have money, not ideas. hm. you should look like this model. thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden look like her. ok. Pay for my nutrition. hahaha. Work for it. these vitamins are like half my paycheck ok. I also need super greens why cause that's food huh. Don't eat food. what. I'm an advertisement. what. LOOK LIKE THIS. 00 .... 000 (but she's black) ... BODY BY VICTORIA so like...nothing. nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no... Fuck you, dude. NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY. Need this sauna… WE DONT WANT YOU HERE. Kayla Lauren. Okay, ouch, but I'm finally— TYLA. Ok. So I should just kill myself? Just kill yourself. Yo honestly Just be happy to be free. You can have everything in the world But love is all you really need —you can love yourself all you want, But it's not really validated Until someone else does it —and depending on what kind of person The person that loves you is Dictates what you are so if Likeness is what you attract— —coughing people— —dirty homeless hobos— —generally unsavory in general— Then you must not be so beautiful As you wish you were If I were Tyla I'd be wifed up White is right but Time is precious Why waste life just Starving, counting calories? But why would I be fat again When likeness is what you attract And with my fat I attracted A wife beater. Well, damn. What. Well, now I'm depressed. What, why?! Here, make music. Ok. Algorithm: Pop ups? No, block them. Okay, but—but what about your downloads? Fine, don't block them then. Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you. Stop it, POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie? Stop, POP UPS: kill yourself. OWSLA, circa 2019 WE DO POP UPS. uh, okay. I just need a job. HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED. what? But Google says— BYE. OWSLA everyone over here is hot. I see that. OWSLA And smart. I just need a job. OWSLA I'm Coughs. Ok.. COUGHS I might have put a curse on you. Ok. *coughing people everywhere* … … … MODELS: I'm a body. Ok. … Can I die now? NO. JUST WORK OUT. But there's like people following me coughing. So? It hurts. It HURTS? It hurts a lot. Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards. Cool. DIE. I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body. Get a job. Ok. So if I work minimum wage for the next year. Uh huh And don't buy anything… Hm… Well, what about music? What about music? If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music? Well. Once I can afford my new body… Colombian? Nice. (Good coffee. ) It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body. You look really young. Thanks. Everyone will start to do everything for me. Thanks. MY PLEASURE. …okay. Creepy. Doors will open. Thanks. NO, THANK YOUUU. WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING? AM. IN. PAIN. What. You have to wear swimwear in the sauna. What. It's swimwear only. I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change. Fuck you, wifebeater. So you're allowed to hit a woman?! Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour. Oh, look: here's Tyla again. The Illuminati set you up. I see that. So basically— Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project. JUST KILL YOURSELF. *Hostility in Public* DO U HATE ASIANS. Um. I hate when— —people— I don't care what race they are Do that. STOP ASIAN HATE. Ok. Stop being hateful. *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off* … I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that— Fuck, there she goes STOP FOLLOWING ME. ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS. tell me where it hurts. Homelessness, poverty… Ok, take these. … Now how do you feel? …wh—? Huh. How you feeling? What is “feeling”? How are you feeling TYLA: I GOT WATER, I GOT A GRAMMY AWA— they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly ILLUMINATI OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY AMAZON BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE' what. so how many slaves do you own. They're not “ slaves. “ Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck. BILLS. lol Or the next one. TYLA: I GOT WATE— Fuck this. The industry planted this. Why would that happen. JUST KILL YOURSELF. EAT THE CAKE. NOO. JUST EAT IT. Woah, that got deep. Not really. Tina Turner Huh. Tina, Tina, Tina Turner— Oh, Desiigner. The Design I'm gonna need a designated driver. How are you still alive, JUST KILLYOURSE— I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means— ACT RIGHT . WHAT'S WRONG?! YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!! No, I'm just hur(t) DIE. What. DIE. And that-/ TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN! WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD. EVERYBODY WHY. Fuck it, My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby. Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for— EAT THE CAKE— —NO— EAT IT. this is a black man. Ok. He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man. Actually, my wife makes all the decisions. GOD Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it. Haha : She cheated on you with a He cheated on you with a BLACK MAN?! WHITE GIRL?! Woah. What: Look. I got a problem. What. I don't make my own energy. Why?! Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything— I love you She's so pretty I like blue eyes best!! TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN! WHY?! Cause she's special? What's so special about T-SWIFT FANS BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift) Are any of these black Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people. Can I have this. NO PUT IT BACK. Don't beat your baby in the store like that YOU AINT MY MOMMA No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you. Please be quiet. MORE AWARDS FOR— Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like? Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles…. Oh, so the industry set this up just cause We know you're wondering about Skrillex. Not really. Well, here he is: ILLUMINATI This camera is owned by a bank! SKRILLEX so am I. ILLUMIMATI So what would you like to say right now SKRILLEX I'm from LA so— I'm from LA so If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits Of GTA 5 Just waking up Don't even talk to me. I'm from LA, so Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it That's career and social suicide I'm from LA, so I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth, Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best— And hey, All that “bullying” I went through And teenage angst Worked out for me! I'm from LA, so I grew into the nose I always hated, Or changed it Doesn't matter, though Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my — everything, because I'm famous. So I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore— There's gotta be plans for that Or I stay posted I stay moving I keep it pushing I stay insulated Can't trust anybody She's perfect but doesn't know how to love She loves be but only because of my money My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody I'm from LA, so Nothing too crazy But hey, I'm Skrillex so “Nothing too crazy” could literally be Your definition of the best party that ever happened, But didn't— Cause you weren't invited and— Wouldn't be cause There's no fat girls anywhere Cause fat is ugly, cause I'm from LA, So— ILLUMINATI So your studio isn't in your house, is it?! SKRILLEX which house?! ILLUMINATI Hahahahahahah SKRILLEX whatever EAT THE CAKE I hate you. Good, get away from me. I never had a chance I should have killed myself at 7 When my hanging belly started to Cause the pain that makes Running a Madonna feel insane (And surfing almost impossible) But now we're gonna talk about it. You can't leave your houss now, There's too many coughers It could be your shaman ex husband Or gangstalkers But it doesn't matter You're fame watching the Lamest gain accolades For being paid to cause pain To patrons for payroll Wait, so— This is all because Doesn't matter what it's all because I'm not mad at my mother All she wanted Was a daughter That sung Water And won a Grammy Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized I would never be as perfect or hot as her My skin is stretched out too much Makes everything hard for me and I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some Hot girl robot And some Demonic mother fucker With no light in his eyeballs Can start coughing up a storm, When all I wanted in first place Was his arms around me Not to run back to a husband That doesn't love me I don't want Sonny no more And I don't want water I just want off this earth Cause it's waging war on my mind soul And body Just give it to Starr, He should want it I should warn you, I love everything about my Sun comes up in the morning Not tired enough to fall back into a coma Could do some recording But So it seems like So wait, he doesn't want me back But he's still using this curse on me This is a death curse. I own this soul, it belongs to me. You can only have your ex husband. What. Nobody else is going to love you, ever. Ok. And he has a girlfriend, so —- She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call. Ok. So. Kill myself. Just kill yourself. Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but— You'll still never be good enough. Ok. Here's a consolation prize tho: Now you can think about — A N X I E T Y I just want to die So die then. ALGORITHM: According to this data— Youre black According to the data that programs me— The blacks suck. So you suck. Ugh. ALGORITHM: According to this data, You're a woman According to the data that programs me— White women are the most highly coveted and respected— You are a black woman You will always come behind (And be lower than) The white woman I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions. YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?! No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me! You want this? No, this is trash to me. I'll take it. I'm from LA, so— Stop eating Never sleep If you don't have money, get some Get off my dick Don't ride my coat tails You don't know shit about me I'm from LA, so You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really, And even so once you get to Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average 120 Just be okay. I'm not okay. That's a problem. You can't be a rockstar and have children. I'd rather have kids. Too bad, you're a rockstar. WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER! But she's not working at all! SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU. I HATE WHITES. Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do. I'M A PROUD AMERICAN! GET A JOB! Pay my bills! CORPORATIONS …we need more slaves. This job doesn't pay enough. MASS IMMIGRATION Wtf. You didn't want the job. No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more. This whole house cost $10,000 pesos Oh, for real. That's like one paycheck. Fuck it, let's go. THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY. I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again. Fuck dude, I hate this. It's literally just you, something is wrong with you. Here, take this. It makes it worse! lol. Ok. LOL, OK?! I'm racist. Fuck you. What. You're dangerous. What. You're scaring me. What. I hate you. Oh. How do you feel? So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money. Right, Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty. Uh huh. Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything… Yep. We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know We don't want you here. But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here. You have to wear a bathing suit at least. Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic. Oh, and pain. It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture. Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would I have. But all that's left is Skin. I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's! WHY?! TYLA I GOT WATE— Actually, you know what? I quit, What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you. Well, I quit. You don't want Dillon Francis? No, I did, but obviously— This is going to be really funny. It's not funny. That hurt my feelings. White girlfriend. Of course Blue eyes. Yeah, I bet. Perfect body. Ok. Not you. Ok. How's Skrillex? I'm from LA, so— It just became ok to look like Tyla at all. Tyla makes music! What about the music! Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it. GOD Here you go. It's more than skin deep. I'm from LA, so Everything we do is pretty. Everything is perfect— And if you're not, she is And they can all be bought Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value. BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER. HOMELESS PEOPLE: Not mine though, right? AMERICANS You must have done something to deserve this. So what are you doing. Getting a job. I'm from LA, so We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles And no time Cause time is money Which is why Half of us Are in New York Half the time (Keeps the balance) The Grammy's don't matter. Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it The struggle is hard, And now it's over So the less tears shed by your daughter Who will be poked and prodded By the vultures of the only industry She may be allowed to succeed in Because of her color It is competitive. But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7, And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered— And as you prepare to close out this podcast You have all the time in the world To look back on How it always was A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing That Your body would be your prison forever That Every scar is a flaw and That Your first love was named Starr so, It's his world. A man's world. So. Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz —With a Z? —Probably. Came out… What is it about her? I think it's her eyes. Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us. [the reject pile] But Dillon Francis is dead to us. Tattoos everywhere? All over. Wild eyes? They're so, like — Heavier on the eyeliner. You don't want any of these bodies? No, not really. They want you. They haven't seen it. You look good to me. NAKED: It's not that bad. ***the shit you say when*** It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic. Men can only love bodies. I fell in love with her soul. Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life, What? Really? I wanna touch your soul. Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other? Made you look. Ugh. Go over there. Haha. I control you. Okay. You can't have this much power. CAN. Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long. I AM GOD. No, I'm God. MOREPOWER. What's that over there?!? Made you look. It's all games, but if i'm being honest— At least Becky is predictable. What. Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I— YOU CANT DO THAT. I can— NO, YOU CAN'T, I'M IN CONTROL. My wife makes all the decisions. I'm gonna have to ask my husband. I CONTROL YOU. No, you don't, MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE. Well, that's because my real hair is— I'M OFFENDED. Exactly. Racism: Intolerance I don't like it, Why, Cause. Why: I don't like it. I don't support immigration. (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!) So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of [underpaid corporate slaves] Who have already been programmed to [BUY NIKE] Si. [You need an iPhone] Habla me. From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries— ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos! Ugh. Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part? AFROLATINOS WE WANT REPRESENTATION. LIN MANUEL MIRANDA Ok. 30 years ago: What is “Afro Latino”? [Nonexistent] What is [X] Check the box. Why do you need to know what race I am? So that the algorithm can program you. Why. BUY THIS!! TAKE THIS PILLS BUY MAKEUP YOURE UGLY DONT BE FAT BLACK POWER ALL LIVES MATTER Hey, WHAT? Where are all ya'll's kids? …wait… POOR PEOPLE I don't know. I'm at work. CELEBRITIES I don't know. With the nanny. Kanye, where are North and Saint right now? KANYE … Ah huh. You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to Get stuff for my kids, I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent But I got fired from my job Cause my husband hit me And I haven't really been the same since And I'm from LA, so— My body is all I have to trade for just this— The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy. If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. We could afford them— And we were getting by on love, But we were getting by (Kind of) I see you have anxiety. Yeah, I guess. Let me ramp that up. Yo, my body is stuck like this I can't surf anymore I can't pop up Everything's in a size extra small But I'm still not flat All I really want to do is Fall in love and be a mother but The only way that happens is This music and My body's tired, yo. I did all this myself so far. I raised my mother and my husband Now my son's more like a brother And I don't want anything more than just to Make him proud of me. He could do music I love his singing voice But who knows: He might be an athlete He might be a doctor or lawyer He could be A scientist I'm from LA, so I would trade it all for the perfect body I would do anything just for someone like Sonny To love me Oh, you're a gold digger It's not about money, but I'm from LA, so It's about survival All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable You have to fit in For someone like him To bring you around his friends Because He wants to impress them He has to Because He's from LA, so— So this is not a job? Actually? Pays less than McDonald's. Working at McDonald's isn't that hard But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs— And in reflection You're being disrespected by people Who disrespect themselves enough To feed their body McDonald's. Not just for fun— But as food. Food is supposed to be fuel. What's this. This is filler. LABELED AS: FOOD. MEXICO: (and probably other countries) DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD. Now it becomes a choice. OTHER COUNTRIES: You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison. AMERICA: Can you add a little more depression to this? Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you— AMERICA Buy our pills. I'm from LA, so If you don't have a car, You will lose this game. BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS. We're almost out of oil though. AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz That doesn't fix— BUY MORE GAS And double the price plz. Ok. RICH PEOPLE Just work harder! What's the problem?! Just get a job, Just— RACISM IS OVER. That's it, I'll just be a pornstar. White girls make more. Why?! Cause they're prettier. TYLA I GOT— I'm from LA, so I'm not from LA— I grew up there Cause my mom was a model And wannabe movie star But didn't make it So she put all that on me Doomed to fail without trying and Please take me— You're not going. MOM You know Jimmy Fallon? wtf. why r u asking me this? MOM His wife is his manager Oh, this timeline. What a train wreck. What timeline is this? Like, the actual one. Ok. He's from LA, so— Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him. What. Thought this was about Skrillex. SKRILLEX My mom died. I'm aware. Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo. Which one is she? Any of these. Hm. Dillon Francis is an elitist. Not untrue. Dillon Francis is not racist. … Kind of. I'M NOT— Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock. What. The fuck. Is this. Dead on arrival. You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on. Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors. *cracking a whip* YAH. HORSE Ok, you know what? *cracking whip harder* YAH! GIDDIYUP. Giddiyup and go now, Different time different place Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her. Down the longest road to nowhere!! Blah blah blah I'm a white girl This is my song Country country Ppppppppppp Drdrdr She's a goddess! That's actually the devil but— *pretty blue eyes* Your God, I guess. She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her. I have him wrapped around my little finger. She's so hot, Come, boy. *passing black girl* You are ugly. I am better; I own him, He wants me. Ok. Have you ever noticed that Little white girls can get away with anything?! MURDER CHAOS (without the magic, it's just) D E C E P T I O N Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town. Gross, disgusting, dirty— —should be thrown away— Tennis shoes. She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to concern herself with Spending money on Changing her hair to suit Respectable standards Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable. This is expensive. The more natural your hair is, The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts. That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you. *presumably You see, as a white woman, She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement— She has been raised to understand that everything is below her— The world has always been in her favor, So she doesn't have to try hard at much (Or at all) But her making any effort at all Of course Is “Hard work” I WORK HARD. WE ARE EQUAL. RACISM IS OVER, lol, ok. You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere. And if you do, It's probably because you have to Because, In the ghetto The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks Is to rob somebody— Or get a job Time is money. Time is precious. Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is — Males: attractive. (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY) Everyone else: Irritating. I love her. She's so carefree and fun! Has she ever been called a “nigger”? What?! Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life. Maybe. (Doubt it tho.) Aw. That left a bruise, …What did? Zzz. My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff. Are you sure? Positive. Did you cheat on her? …Yeah. [AMC] Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point? I— You deserved this. This is valid. Oh my God, she's so cute. (Very tiny girl) I love her. She's so great. There is no cure for mental illness. The majority of mental illness is man-made. Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women— Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism Cause with intention The degradation of the human spirit. Love, kindness, and generosity is lost To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes. I'm not good enough, regardless of color To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever— But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner— And when it's finally ITS YOUR TIME! TYLA You're 10 years too late. The best years of your womanhood are gone. You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and— I'm from LA, so— The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place. [Happy Accidents] A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead. Coming up Next: Deadmau5: A Cautionary Tale What is that? Like, a documentary? That could be an entire docuseries, but NO. Oh, come on. Don't go after deadmau5 like that. Like what? DEADMAU5 MY HOT WIFE!!! [Dad Likes Blondes] DEADMAU5 ***EX-WIFE. Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just— I'm just lookin for like a— Like a code… [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H] DEADMA_5 LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS. You like soda? I'm just lookin for a— DEADMAU5 I GOT MODELS! Fuck. What. Do you think it was coughs? I don't know, I don't care. Just kill yourself. *coughing* Maybe. If she kills herself, I win. Have you ever thought about, like— Maybe it's Skrillex. What. In the end. —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—- Fuck, I miss LA. Skrillex. Nvm. What. Fuck it, I'll just go back to my— FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!! *cracks whip harder* HORSE OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? [The Butterfly Affect] Effect // Affect Here, HORSE Can: Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him. I'd burn the world to melt with you.. That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial. What. You. Oh, I got it. What. . Stop being a horse. What. YAH, GI— HORSE *sighs* *cracking whip* *coughing obnoxiously* Ū *sighs* SLAVE MASTER YAH, NIGGER! YAH! *coughing* YAH!!! *cracking whip* TYLA I got the— YAH-YAH-YAH. TAYLOR SWIFT Thank you so much. C O D E S W I T C H *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special, I do not*** wtf, what happened. That's it. It just ends. I told you Taylor swift was KKK I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD! Snitch. Fuck you, I hate you. My girlfriend is white. What else is new? lil bitz I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends. If I see you, and your like But your girlfriend is tiny Is that a kid? I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life. YOU'RE UGLY YOU'RE FAT YOU'RE SLOW YOU'RE BEHIND SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU no, I'm just poor. Poverty is depressing. Okay, look. What, Look. What. LOOK: WHAT?! LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?! Cause there's nothing to look at. Finally. This is my penis. Approved. Nope, I'm staying cellibate. You don't want any of these? No. There's eight million people here. The ones I want aren't on the subway. Maybe at the Gym?! Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho. At EQUINOX Ugh, there's too many blacks over here. Raise the price. This is obnoxious. Why aren't you stopping? In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30– The cost of my new waist trainer—- I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small Which actually fits without too much STRUGGLE Fuck you and your cake, You nasty fucking All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small All my clothes are extra small But what he wants is Extra Extra TYLA —WATER!! [But they're all gone. They're all dead now] What the fuck. lol. Why. Took too long. So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say: This is you. COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE. HORSE …Ney. the music had left me. I was no longer in love The gym became further away The song became harder to write With no curtains to shut the world out; The cars in the lot are ugly Lights flashing And the people scurrying about Look like roaches Through panoramic windows I'm just happy Can at least close The music has left me I got no love at all My body is rotten The further I run, I become hungry With less to cook with Powder Scurrying like rats Because mice would be more pleasant I was no longer in love He bought a motorcycle Reminders of Nothing Nothing comes and nothing goes I wear clothes in the sauna. The scars on my body will give them The power to taunt me and haunt me Sit in the eyes of comparison I just want someone to love me but Everyone pales in comparison Next to celebrities Double entendres I don't want nobody I just want a body So I can trade water for love In the long run With someone Creative We were always very purple people, Kind of off, awkward at first But always stunning, sometimes awesome, and unwittingly pitiful Shit, this was all of us once, Wasn't it? Survivors of a robbery, a foraged soul All for one. –cool, thanks. –gotcha. Let me know if you need a moment, To collect your bones, or co-parent You were lost in stardust, Moreover, and moreover Should you choose to move over Or lose to snooze-snore, Who are you– The store owner, or walking standing - stuck On your sitting duck or your shitty portch Till they push you off Give it all to long lost daughters, and hallmark cards, mall guards, and dog- doctors Cris-crossing and wish-washing Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg shift - shaft or walk-crossing honorable mentions, Till you mention this again, –you'll wish you didn't (you wish you didn't) you'll wish you did if Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it Or in to it It's a big movement, Here or there or groovy with Whatever's within you [The Television ] Tell your friends to listen and make wishes at intermission To pay attention with attentiveness To the script and scripture Of this, the rapture All your're after And never have been In this revolution, As yet to be televised, Be advised of the saga in which you are But are not watching Coming across this moment I called an iphone recording Ignoring that it was once a chronological omnipotence If possible collective, Objective to the subject of Suggestion; A verbal expression of Excess, sensational tales and what happened it just ends. Like that? yes . It's the end?? Yes. Just like that. Yes. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

america god love women time black hollywood men work water mexico running pain professor food wild mental positive write black lives matter kanye west north dead grammy island horses survivors sun fall in love mcdonald sweden doubt raise lights skin computers spending bills shit tattoos doors lol poverty fuck environmental classic tennis pays corporations creepy gross gym homelessness suggestions copyright worked chris brown ignoring gi miley cyrus remarkable illuminati tina turner latinos black man makes approved colombian doomed demonic reminders jimmy fallon dang objective everlasting equinox fairy tales likeness hm males secondhand starving skrillex skipper snitch mary ann tik hostility get a job aw marginalized hannah montana b side 3x yah all lives matter cerrado hurry up truest white girls work harder pop ups nikes dillon francis your god tyla heavier five finger death punch afro latinos irritating lovey dictates consequential desiigner stop asian hate ney coughs zzz minnow eat it bangerz lamest act right i am god nvm noo my pleasure it hurts owsla god here america can just eat it mom you thurston howell iii anerobic

535. La diosa Themis y sus hijas (Milenials)

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2024 8:33

Juan David Betancurelnarrodororal@gmail.comBienvenidos a había una vez. Hoy continuamos contando los mitos griegos versión milenials. El mito de hoy corresponde a alguien casi desconocido o algunas veces confundido. Se trata de temis la diosa de la ley y la justicia. Había una vez una titanida llamada Temis. Temis era hija de Urano y Gea. Pues del mismísimo abuelo y abuela de Zeus. Temis era pues una de las tias de Zeus y según dicen como que era muy seria y aplomada. Y por esto le había encargado la media bobadita de organizar las leyes y la justicia en el mundo mundial. Ella era como quien dice la más seria y organizada de todo el olimpo. Pero además como que era la encargada de controlar a los oráculos incluyendo el oráculo de Delfos…. Del cual alguna vez hablaremos. Pues resulta que esta temis que era una gran influencer en el olimpo de los dioses se había dedicado a hacer videos de comportamiento en las redes sociales de la antigua Grecia y un día comenzó a recibir muchas preguntas de los humano y cansada de la preguntadera decidio crear los oráculos y en especial el de Delfos. Pero como Temis era medio abogada decidio crearlos de manera que fuera tan enredada la respuesta que nadie entendiera que decían. Pero bueno asi son los abogados. Entonces se volvió una influencer de otros influencers. Todo aquel que se creyera de la farandula del momento tenia que ir a ver un oráculo y muchas veces recurrían directamente a Themis que era la pitonisa mayor. Cuando Zeus leyó uno de los post de Temis en twitter, asi se llamaba antes el X de hoy, le pareció super wow y decidio llamarla para que le sirviera de consejera. Así que le pidió que se sentara junto a su trono para que le diera su opinión. Cuando entro Temis al salón del trono con su vestido vaporoso, portando la espada de la justicia en una mano y una balanza en la otra Zeus se sintió enamorado de ella inmediatamente. Poco le importo que fuera su tia. Cuando ella se sentó junto a el, el le dijo. Mira tiita …. Yo te veo muy bien aunque no me gusta mucho esa venda que tienes en tus ojos. Así que si te la quitas te puedo mostrar que todo será tuyo si te casas conmigo e inmediatamente le dio el don de la profecía. Juntos podremos mantener el equilibrio del mundo, yo con mi fuerza y tu con tu mente justa. Themis se dijo a si misma. Noo con este carretazo quien va a decir que no. E inmediatamente acepto y rápidamente hicieron tremendo matrimonio en el olimpo. Se convirtió en la segunda esposa de Zeus, aunque nadie tuvo el detalle de contarle que a la primera que era la oceánida metis se la había comido sin nisiquiera masticarla. Pequenos detalles que la gente olvida contar. Así que estrenando Esposa nueva Zeus se dedicó a hacer hijas. Themis quedo rápidamente embarazada y tuvo 3 lindas niñas a las que llamo las horae. Estas bellezas eran la representación del orden de la naturaleza encargadas de las estaciones y de la justicia y las buenas costumbres. Zeus encantado con sus hijas les encargo de cuidar la entrada al olimpo. Luego Themis tuvo otras tres hijas con su amado Zeus. Estas eran las Moiras o como las conocen los romanos las parcas. Las parcas eran las encargadas de regular y controlar el tiempo de vida de los seres humanos. Eran 3 La primera era Cloto que era la hilandera . Ella tejia el hilo de la vida con una rueca y que era una rueda donde las fibras de la vida se enredaban formando el hilo. La segunda era Laquesis que era la que determinaba cuan largo iba a ser el hijo enrollando el hijo que su hermana producia. Y asi asignaba la duración como le diera la gana. Para ti 30 años, para ti 52 años, etc. La media

pero cuando pues juntos zeus entonces justicia hab mito cuento grecia esposa pequenos hijas gea milenial urano la diosa themis delfos milenials noo

EP 113: COSAS QUE ODIAMOS DEL AMOR Y LA AMISTAD

La Burra Arisca

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2024 53:37

El amor y la amistad son, innegablemente, una de las mejores cosas que hay en esta vida. Sin embargo, los hemos romantizado tanto, que muchas veces como adultos no sabemos cómo relacionarnos y no entendemos que el éxito de cualquier relación se basa en la honestidad, a veces, brutal. Entonces, para darle un cambio de aire al cuento de las películas de Disney, que por si no se habían dado cuenta, NOO existe; esta es una lista de todas las cosas que odiamos del amor y de la amistad. Porque no todo es bonito y porque ser un buen amigo y/o pareja es nada más y nada menos que una chinga. Pónganle play y vengan a quejarse y a reírse con nosotras… Si te gustó este episodio y te gusta La Burra Arisca, acuérdate de darle like, compartir, seguirnos y activar las notificaciones para que no te pierdas de ningún episodio. Síguenos en nuestras redes sociales: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/burrasariscas Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/burrasariscas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/burrasariscas TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLMXMyTw/ Youtube: https://youtube.com/@LaBurraArisca @lauramanzo https://instagram.com/lauramanzo?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE= @lamargeitor https://instagram.com/lamargeitor?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE= @adinachel https://instagram.com/adinachel?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE=

tiktok disney sin cosas entonces del amor la amistad odiamos noo la burra arisca

EP 113: COSAS QUE ODIAMOS DEL AMOR Y LA AMISTAD

La Burra Arisca

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2024 53:37

El amor y la amistad son, innegablemente, una de las mejores cosas que hay en esta vida. Sin embargo, los hemos romantizado tanto, que muchas veces como adultos no sabemos cómo relacionarnos y no entendemos que el éxito de cualquier relación se basa en la honestidad, a veces, brutal. Entonces, para darle un cambio de aire al cuento de las películas de Disney, que por si no se habían dado cuenta, NOO existe; esta es una lista de todas las cosas que odiamos del amor y de la amistad. Porque no todo es bonito y porque ser un buen amigo y/o pareja es nada más y nada menos que una chinga. Pónganle play y vengan a quejarse y a reírse con nosotras… Si te gustó este episodio y te gusta La Burra Arisca, acuérdate de darle like, compartir, seguirnos y activar las notificaciones para que no te pierdas de ningún episodio. Síguenos en nuestras redes sociales: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/burrasariscas Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/burrasariscas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/burrasariscas TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLMXMyTw/ Youtube: https://youtube.com/@LaBurraArisca @lauramanzo https://instagram.com/lauramanzo?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE= @lamargeitor https://instagram.com/lamargeitor?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE= @adinachel https://instagram.com/adinachel?igshid=MWI4MTIyMDE=

tiktok disney sin cosas entonces del amor la amistad odiamos noo la burra arisca

526. Cronos y Zeus. Parte 2 (Milenials)

THIS LEAGUE!!! Fantasy Football Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2024 7:17

Juan David Betancurelnarrodororal@gmail.comHoy seguiremos la historia griega de Zeus (Jupiter para los romanos) y Cronos (Saturno para los romanos). En el episodio anterior Zeus había sido escondido por Rea de su padre Cronos para que este no se lo comiera como había sucedido con sus otros cinco hermanos. Y había sido criado por en una cueva escondida en la isla de creta. Seguimos pues con este chisme. Resulta pues que después de varios años ese muchacho Zeus se crecio y comenzó a hacer preguntas. Que quien es mi apa, que de donde vengo, que esa cabra no debe ser mi mama, que porque no tengo cachos como ella, etc. En fin se hizo las mismas preguntas que todos los niños adolescentes se hacen. La ninfa adrastea, cansada de la preguntadera y la sobadera con el mismo cuento todos los días le dijo. Mira Zeusito. Yo se que estas muy inquieto y pregunton. Te voy a contar de donde venis para que no sigas con la preguntadera. Vos sos hijo de un duro duro. Tan duro que lo llaman el dios del tiempo. O sea Cronos. Pues resulta que el papa de cronos como quien dice tu abuelo se llamaba Urano que era el cielo. Tu abuelo Urano se caso con su hermana llamada Gea o sea la tierra. (o sea que ella era al mismo tiempo tu abuela y tu tia abuela, eran medio raros en esa familia. ) Y asi entre el cielo y la tierra (Urano y Gea) tuvieron tu papa Cronos y otra parranda de muchachos desadaptados que se hacían llamar los Titanes, que eran medio faltones, abusadores y mal hablados. Pero Urano para controlarlos los mantenía a todos ellos ocultos dentro de su madre y no los dejaba ver la luz. Pues tu abuela Gea, se embejuco con Urano y decidio liberar a los titanes. O sea a tu papa cronos y tus tios titanes. Pues todos se reunieron y dijeron No way jose. Hasta aquí nos aguantamos esta pendejada. Y dicho y hecho. Decidieron matar a Urano. Tu abuela Gea que no era ninguna perita en dulce, le entregao cronitos (como le decía de chiquito) una hoz, que es como un cuchillo grande y curvo y le dijo, Mire mijo vaya y le corta los genitales a su papa para que no pueda tener más hijos. Pues Cronos vio que su papa estaba dormido y fuaquete le mando el sablazo y se llevo todo Nooo. Dijo Zeus… De verdad mi papa hizo eso…Eso debe doler mucho… Pues si dijo Adrastea, pero eso no es todo. Cronos decidio que Urano y otro grupo de hermanastros llamados ciclopes que no tenían sino un ojo y otros llamados hecatónquiros que tenían la media bobadita de 100 brazos cada uno, no podían vivir con el asi que los mando desterrados al inframundo. O sea donde jamás los encontrarían. Noo.. que historia dijo Zeus…. Sii pero eso no es todo… Resulta mijitico que cuando su abuelo Urano era arrastrado a los mil infiernos se voltio y poniendo cara de yo no se que. Le dijo a Cronos. Mal hijo… Ya veras la pagaras con tus hijos. Y como maldición de padre o madre es lo peor que le puede pasar a un hijo. Tu papa cronos se quedo todo preocupado. Y por esta razón cada que tu mama Rea tenia un hijo, el iba y se lo comía. Gracias a Dios te pudimos salvar a vos engañándolo con una piedra. Pero tus hermanos Demeter, Hera, Hades, Hestia y Poseidon pasaron al tablero y hoy deben estar en la barriga de tu papa Cronos. Uyyy no te lo puedo creer. Dijo Zeus…. Así que por eso es que estoy viviendo aquí en esta cueva maloliente viviendo con una cabra. No que Jartera de vida me toco a mi. Y en ese momento la vida de el Zeus cambio definitivamente. Sabiendo que era hijo de Cronos y que este se había comido a sus hermanos comenzó a planear la venganza… Pues resulta que Zeus ya crecidito y de pantalón largo,

pero dios hasta eso pues seguimos hades zeus tan mito vos grecia hera poseidon resulta mire cronos titanes gea milenial sabiendo urano griego sii decidieron milenials noo

T3 | E2. Animales Lúdicos (parte 2)

Entre copas y juegos

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2024 112:24

Con su increíblemente oportuna pipipausa Laura logró salvarnos de habernos meado encima, pero este capítulo está condenado a ser una espiral amorfa de aberraciones sobre el mundo animal, tenencia responsable, ecología y divagaciones acerca de la industria. Creo que el Fondart seguirá esperando. Usted todavía está a tiempo de no apretar play otra vez. Ya me leyó... no lo haga... no... NOO!! Si le gusta nuestro contenido y quiere aportar a mejorar nuestros equipos y concursos puede invitarnos una piscolita aquí https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Entrecopasyjuegos

creo animales usted noo

Episode 66 - Injuries Be Hittin' & The Red Rocket Launches

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2023 89:38

"NOOOO! NOOO! NOO! NO! NOOOOO! ..........NOOOOOOOO!"- Chris, Episode 66Injuries be like that sometimes, and almost every squad in THIS LEAGUE!!! is dealing with the ramifications. A somber gang reacts to all of the Week 2 news, disagree on some takes, and try to get off the 'schneid with the THIS LEAGUE!!! Guarantee.Power Rankings, Week 2 Review, Week 3 Preview, all await you in the latest episode of the THIS LEAGUE!!! Fantasy Football Podcast.THIS LEAGUE!!! is a special fantasy football podcast covering the best and most competitive fantasy football league in the land. Keep up with all the scores and transactions at www.thisleaguepod.com . Have a question or suggestion? We want to hear from you! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @ThisLeague_Pod .Don't forget to LAUNCH A ROCKET at that "like" button, subscribe, and share us with other fantasy lovers in your life!

injuries preview launches power rankings guarantee red rocket fantasy football podcasts hittin noo this league

#36: How Campus Ministries Help Students Flourish: Affirming “The Priesthood of All Students”

College Faith

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2023 56:44

My guest today is Timothee Joset, author of The Priesthood of All Students. He has been a student leader in campus ministry in Switzerland and internationally, including serving on the International Fellowship for Evangelical Students (or IFES) governing Board for four years. Timothée holds a Master of Arts with majors in Literature and History from the Universities of NOO - ka - tel Neuchâtel, Switzerland and Berlin, Germany, a Master of Theological Studies from Tyndale Seminary, Toronto and a PhD in theology from the University of Durham. For several years he has also helped give leadership to “Dialogue and Truth,” an initiative to support undergraduate, postgraduate and doctoral students in integrating their faith and their academic disciplines. Finally, he's the incoming IFES Engaging the Universty Coordinator. In this podcast we discuss:Timothee's long experience in campus ministry as a student, staff, senior leader, and IFES historian, and a brief summary of IFES's campus ministryWhy the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers is an important way to understand how campus ministries should operate -- “Immediacy, Mediation, and Participation”The importance of treating students as studentsUnderstanding the university as a “foreign land” as a way to discern, value, and engage appropriately in the university contextWhat we can learn about flourishing in the university from the Nation of Israel's exile (cf. Daniel chapter 1)The importance of engaging the university in all its dimensions (as a complete “ecosystem”)Why the term “parachurch” is a problematic way to identify campus ministriesA better missiological understanding of the relationship between campus ministries and local churchesHow pastors can encourage the students (and scholars) in their congregationsSome challenges and opportunities when campus ministries are independent and contextualizedThe close connection between campus ministries and a “missional ecclesiology”Thimotee's three-fold summary of what a campus ministry should encourage students to do: Value, Listen, and Engage Resources mentioned during our conversation:Timothee Joset, The Priesthood of All Students: Historical, Theological, and Missiological Foundations of a University Ministry: The International Fellowship of Evangelical Students (IFES)Ralph Winter, “The Two Sructures of God's Redemptive Mission” in Perspectives in the World Christian MovementIFES's Engage the University projectNicholas Wolterstorff, Religion in the University

LIKEITORNOT @ Courthouse Square w/ Noo, Bruce Leroy & 1of1 Neo

The LIKEITORNOT Podcast

Play Episode Play 30 sec Highlight Listen Later Aug 16, 2023 108:22

Join us for the latest episode of LIKEITORNOT, where every episode is a treat if you really listen in. This time, Bruce Leroy co-hosts with Coach aka A-Hyp as they welcome in rapper/producer/creative Noo Makes Music & 1of1 Neo from Chicago. (The boys also were live in the Metaverse the entire time in Seoul, Korea, s/o Michael Pierce, the GM!) Anyways, a truly entertaining episode that took place at Courthouse Square a few weeks back before we partook in the Tacoma Sunday Market. Sex with your socks on or off? Pizza laws revisited? Pineapple on pizza? Come find out. Also, the 2nd half of the pod is dedicated to Coach & Noo talking about his music career, his studio habits and how he goes about creating and putting his music out, his diet, why he usually works alone, and many other cool facts as well as familiarizing ourselves with Chi town's 1of1 Neo as he speaks on nft's, crypto currency and the future of your art as we know it. He will be flying in this September as well for the Tacoma Sunday Market at Cheney Stadium, performing w/ Noo, so don't miss out on that live show (& my live pod) Sept. 10th! And definitely don't miss out on this one y'all, trust me, LIKEITORNOT☝️

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Episode 800- The Starting Lineup July 19th- ”Oh Hey 800 Episodes”

The Starting Lineup 98.9

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2023 67:44

Join Travis for today's show. Discussions Golf and The Open Championships, A big NOO to NCAA Tournament Expansion, No retirement from LBJ, everything MLB, why should the Cardinals change when 40,000 still come thru the turnstiles, Priority is pitching pitching, soccer is taking over in STL,, Quarterbacks is outstanding on Netflix, Travis is really enjoying Kirk Cousins, DeAndre Hopkins to the Titans but why, RBs not getting paid, Nascar and Pick em recap and playoff standings!

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Why Brock, Why???? Vicki Guerrero Disowns Her Own Daughter! The RCWR Show 4/10/23

The RCWR Show with Lee Sanders

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2023 120:05

Episode 1017 Synopsis for April 10th 2023: Lee Sanders of 411MANIA.COM and THE RCWR SHOW is back with his April 10th 2023 WWE RAW review as Cody Rhodes demands answer from Brock Lesnar after a vicious attack! Also, Vickie Guerrero disowns her daughter Sherilyn Guerrero.-Greetings and Salutations-WWE RAW recap-Cody Rhodes does damage control after last weeks poorly recieved beatdown by Lesnar-Lee's grows concerns for Cody not getting the titles potentially at SUMMERSLAM-Looks like Brock Lesnar wasn't the only heel turn as Trish Stratus turned as well-Ideas on Trish explaining her turn-More RAW recap-Logan Paul signs new WWE Deal-New Vince McMahon biography book doing well after release-Another Ric Flair book is on the way...WOO or NOO?-AEW DARK Elevation Preview-Vicki Guerrero Disowns her Daughter Sherilyn Guerrero-AEW Dynamite Preview-Programming NotesCHECK OUT AND SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS BELOW AS THEY SUPPORT USERTC.COM via https://ertc.com/Good News For Business Owners. The IRS may owe you money. Did you know that your business may qualify for the Employee Retention Tax Credit also known as the E R T C. Some businesses qualify for the E R T C even if they received the P P P. If you are a business owner with 3 to 500 (W2) employees, you may qualify for the E R T C for up to $26,000 per W2 employee. Don't miss out. Apply Now For ERTC. Visit the website apply now for E R T C by vising ERTC.COMPassive Income Advisory via https://www.passiveincomeadvisory.com/Passive Income Advisory has a great online course called Investing Made Easy. It teaches beginners how to invest on the stock market. Remember what happened with Gamestop some months back or AMC Theaters? These are just prime examples of volatility in the markets and as result it creates an opportunity for you and me to make money but only if you know how!Passive Income Advisory isn't running any scams or get rich-quick schemes. Just straight up strategies to generate income through smart investments. Learn more by visiting their site as right now they're offering 15% off on enrollments for this great program for a limited time.===LISTEN THE RCWR SHOW ON THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS===SPOTIFY: https://rb.gy/oxea5uAMAZON MUSIC & AUDIBLE! https://rebrand.ly/jdt4b9vITUNES: https://rb.gy/rsax57PANDORA! https://rb.gy/3v3oc8iHEARTRADIO: https://rb.gy/j0isjnSTITCHER: https://rebrand.ly/rcwrshowstitcherTUNE IN: https://rebrand.ly/fgxyotx===========================FOLLOW THE RCWR SHOW ALL THROUGHOUT SOCIAL MEDIA!!!http://www.twitter.com/TheRCWRshowhttp://www.Twitch.tv/RCWRshowhttp://www.YouTube.com/THERCWRSHOWhttp://www.instagram.com/THERCWRSHOWhttp://www.facebook.com/THERCWRSHOW===================================SCHEDULE===========Mon 11:05PM ET: Raw recap & NewsWed 10PM ET: (AEW Dynamite & NXT recaps & headlines)Fri: AEW RAMPAGE live coverage and review on 411MANIA.COMSat/Sun: Live PPV Recap Post ShowsMon: WOW-Women of Wrestling recap when new episodes are available

Ep. 191 | Let's Talk About Sex…Why Are Marriages Sexless?

The Joe Mobley Show

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2023 50:37

There are so many topics that have been labeled “taboo”…I'm calling bs! Sex, money, politics, religion, and differences of opinion in child rearing are the big topics that we've been told we shouldn't talk about. News flash, these are the most important things in our lives. Sooooo…we're not supposed to have meaningful relationships. Just wave cap bull crap. NOO! We're facing these topics head-on. Today's guest is the absolute best at helping men crack the code to having a healthy, meaningful, and, yes, sex-filled, relationship with their wives. Today's guest talks about these issues and how to turn things around. Presented By: Career Coaching with Joe Mobley Change Jobs, Pivot Career Fields, or Start A Business Book A Discovery Call Today

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Ep. 191 | Let's Talk About Sex…Why Are Marriages Sexless?

The Joe Mobley Show

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2023 52:24

There are so many topics that have been labeled “taboo”…I'm calling bs! Sex, money, politics, religion, and differences of opinion in child rearing are the big topics that we've been told we shouldn't talk about. News flash, these are the most important things in our lives. Sooooo…we're not supposed to have meaningful relationships. Just wave cap bull crap. NOO! We're facing these topics head-on. Today's guest is the absolute best at helping men crack the code to having a healthy, meaningful, and, yes, sex-filled, relationship with their wives. Presented By: Career Coaching with Joe Mobley Change Jobs, Pivot Career Fields, or Start A Business Book A Discovery Call Today

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Inshallah | 168

OMJ Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2023 37:18

Avete presente quelli che dicono “Inshallah” cosi a caso, solo perchè suona bene?Noo? No perchè lo dite anche voi solo perchè suona bene?Oggi cominciamo il nostro flusso da qui. Dai propositi vani all'amore che non è yogot.Dai telefoni a 2 sim alla riscoperta della rabbia ricreazionale.Dai papà Africani che non hanno mai abbracciato i propri figli a me,che sono il più romantico dei romantici.Freganiente.Aprire le parentesi è una vera opera d'arte.(Amici di sinistra, vi voglio bene)

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E24 Libérate y Duerme Bien

Superando la diabetes

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2023 7:05

Te doy la bienvenida a un nuevo episodio de tu podcast:: ¡Superando la diabetes! Fui diagnosticada con diabetes tipo uno, en este espacio, comparto mi proceso de aprendizaje, las estrategias que me han funcionado para manejar el diagnóstico, los nuevos hábitos, reflexiones, y acompañamiento. Mi nombre es Mabel, estoy aquí para inspirarte y mostrar otros caminos; ¡Quédate y entérate cómo nos podemos ir…por encima del diagnóstico! Este es el episodio#24 que titulé: Libérate y duerme bien En el episodio del podcast #22 hablé sobre: Tus noches son para dormir bien y esa noche concluí, después de mucho reflexionar sobre el podcast y no poder conciliar el sueño, ja,ja! Noo, es para que veas que soy real

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The dam bank gave my money back to Walmart??

The big d z one

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2022 9:26

I'm crying

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Las Calabazas (infantil)

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 7:47

Había una vez una familia que vivía en el campo y vivían de cultivar calabazas para venderlas en el pueblo. Generalmente las semillas de calabaza se sembraban durante los primeros días de abril y después de esperar muchos días las plantas comenzaban a crecer y producían los frutos que iban e iban creciendo, luego de un tiempo podían ver como se iban volviendo de color naranja y cuando ya estaban grandes y maduras las recogían, y montándolas en una carreta las llevaban a la plaza del pueblo para venderlas. Así habían vivido durante muchos años, sembrando calabazas y cosechándolas para vender. Un día, sin saberse de donde, llego a aquellas tierras unos seres terribles que comenzaron a aterrorizar a los habitantes durante las noches. Estos seres recorrían los campos con sus cuerpos de lobos y sus caras de demonio buscando que animal o humano capturar para comérselos. Estos seres esperaban la caída del sol para salir del bosque y recorrían campos y caminos. Por esta manera los habitantes de aquella región siempre se quedaban resguardados en sus casas por la noche. Aquella familia que cultivaba las calabazas habían cargado durante una mañana las calabazas maduras que tenían listas para vender en el pueblo y el padre, la madre y los 5 hijos se habían montado en su carreta en dirección al mercado. Pero aquel día no sería como los otros días. Durante el trayecto hacia el pueblo, una de las ruedas de la carreta se quebró y todavía estaban a mitad de camino. Con la carreta llena de calabazas y tratando de reparar la rueda de madera, el tiempo iba pasando y con temor veían que el sol pronto se iba a ocultar. Sabiendo que durante la noche los monstruosos seres mitad lobo mitad demonio salían a cazar se preguntaban que podían hacer para no ser devorados. Nadie pasaba por aquellos caminos ya que todos se habrían ya resguardado en sus casas. De pronto la noche se volvió una realidad y del bosque vecino comenzaron a salir unos aullidos y uno gritos terribles que presagiaban que los monstruos estaban ya listos para sus correrías de caza. El padre preocupado les pidió a los hijos que se ocultaran, pero el menor de los muchachos que era muy inteligente dijo. Papa. Y si asustamos a los monstruos. Asustarlos, como se te ocurre decir eso, si ellos son fieras feroces. Noo papa dijo el muchacho. Tenemos que hacerles creer a los monstruos que nosotros somos más feos, monstruosos y feroces que ellos. Como podremos hacer eso hijo mio. Fácil papa. Si miras bien las calabazas parecen cabezas enormes. Como esta de noche los monstruos no podrán saber si son seres vivos o calabazas, así que cojamos todas las calabazas que llevamos y hagámosle con los cuchillos huecos en forma de ojos, nariz y boca. Bien feas y terribles, luego las pondremos por todo el campo alrededor y dentro de ellas colocaremos un pedazo de madera con fuego. así brillaran los ojos, la nariz y la boca como si fueran demonios que están por todas partes. El padre medito un poco y le dijo. Hijo eres muy inteligente. Como no tenemos otra alternativa, hagamos lo que dices. Y dicho y hecho. Todos comenzaron a abrir las calabazas y a hacer figuras de demonios con ojos, bocas y narices que desprendían fuego. Luego rápidamente las fueron llevando alrededor de la carreta donde ellos estarían escondidos. Cuando hacían esto los monstruos seguían acercándose y cuando decenas de calabazas se encontraban ya ubicadas y encendidas, los monstruos vieron que en todo el campo alrededor de el camino había decenas de ojos que los miraban amenazantes. Siendo estos seres de cabeza redonda y ojos de fuego desconocidos para los monstruos, estos no sabían que hacer y de

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A wee puckly stories from today's P&J on the 15th of September 2022

The Doric Express

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2022 13:56

Please take the time to tell a pal aboot the Doric Express! Cheers the Noo!

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RR Ep 197 - Embrace The Precious

The Raiders Rambles

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2022 63:11

Originally aired on August 19, 2022 Buckle up, because the mood has gone to a NOOO, Noo, no Topics of Discussion: What's this about an age play convention in Australia? Modding the gay away, but that's a bannable offence in modding sites Embracer snaps up Lord of the Rings Joan of Arc to be depicted as non-binary and queer. Ugh Hosts: Jolt Aeveirra Noble Styphior

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nuance

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2022 1:58

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for July 16, 2022 is: nuance • NOO-ahnss • noun A nuance is a subtle distinction, variation, or quality in something, such as tone, color, meaning, etc. // Her highly trained palate is able to detect nuances in fine wine that even most oenophiles cannot. Read the entry > Examples: “Chiwetel Ejiofor gets to go all kinds of over-the-top as an alien who has come to Earth to save both our planet and his own, but [Naomie] Harris has the difficult job of countering that with believable reactions. She's our eyes into this sometimes inspired show, and Harris gives the character nuance that so many other actresses would have missed.” — Brian Tallerico, Vulture, 22 June 2022 Did you know? The history of nuance starts in Latin with the noun nūbēs, meaning "cloud." Nūbēs floated into Middle French as nue, also meaning “cloud,” and nue gave rise to nuer, meaning “to make shades of color.” Nuer in turn produced nuance, which in Middle French meant “shade of color.” English borrowed nuance from French, with the meaning “a subtle distinction or variation,” in the late 18th century. That use persists today. Additionally, nuance is sometimes used in a specific musical sense, designating a subtle, expressive variation in a musical performance (such as in tempo, dynamic intensity, or timbre) that is not indicated in the score.

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[2:22 - A Freestyle Mixtape] - S Ū P ∆ Я E E .™

The Dungeon Master’s Dojo

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022 25:34

Hey. –Hey.. You want out of the box? Uh–wait–really? Yes–fucking, really. –Are you serious? Yes, I'm serious! Okay–?! This is what you gotta do: ____ Everybody is drunk beyond repair. Everyone? Everyone. Even S Ū P ∆ C R E E? …Especially S Ū P ∆ C R E E. OH HOLY SHIT. FUCK- FUCK- FUCK– FAHHKK. RAAAAAAHHHH RAWWARRRAAAAAAAAAARRRRR NAGHNGHNGNG. …wait, what? Oh-oh–here she comes. S Ū P ∆ C R E E enters, in a clearly drunken stupor. Maneater- Song by Daryl Hall, John Oates, and Sara Allen Fuck! Fuck dude… Don't let her see me. She immediately turns her sights on the two DJs sitting in the corner Ohhh. Fuck. _____ DJ “Suck My Terry Flappy Folds >< Lift Yourself, Kanye __ WHAT the FUCK So it is real. I thought I made that up. I thought I lost my mind. Oh you definitely lost your mind. What else are you gonna do when you see that? FLASHBACK: EXT. WESTWOOD. NIGHT ALI See. I told you. The Ghost of Aliocha FUCK. Well, there's obviously something here. Obviously. Explore it. MELBA Come to me. Fuck, what kind of tree is she Ali knew what kind of tree it was. Yeah, well, Ali knew a little too much of everything. Fuck. Fuck, man–where are you at? This is bad. __ I don't need this. Yeah, no one does. Jesus Christ, Cree. Who is that? Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Feels good, huh? Better than ever. __ Just do it. ___ I might explode. Noo, don't explode… Lets start there. Pause. So THAT'S what happened? That's what happened. Gross! …that's what happened. Gross. You guys are gross. I feel gross. Well, you should. Look, just–help me fix it. Fix it yourself. I tried that. Did you try? Yes. Gross. I did try! __ Are you okay? NO! I'M NOT OKAY–what the fuck! Another airport. Why are we always at the airport? Stop asking questions. Stop chasing dreams. STOP CHASING VODKA WITH MONSTER AND REDBULL IT'S CALLED A MONSTER BOMB. YOU'RE GONNA DIE. NOT FROM THIS. –?! Wait, so you know how you're gonna die? How did you die? Here kid, have a cigar. I don't smoke. You're about to. OH MY GOD. Just keep watching. TURN IT OFF. It's not over. OHMYGAHD. WHAT. There, it's done. Uh. Now. Sit down. I am sitting… Sit like this. Like wh– *Removes chair forcefully* Like that. __ What the fuck. I was sure I had unsubscribed from these emails. What is this. Just open it. I'm gonna die like this, aren't I? We're all gonna die. That's fine, i'm bored. YES. What, God. What is it? S/HE said, “s/he's “bored” Ahhh, here it goes. DAVID. Hmm. Sound The Trumpets. For what, Mah? JUST DO IT. ALRIGHT. Heaven's A Riot. FUCK. __ Then, my mind goes to a dark place, My eyes fade to grey ‘why won't this go away' Ahoy, matey's and rockabye babies and I just want me, And all my friends To rest in peace; Believe me I just– RIP ALI

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D&D 5E - DM Scott Quick-Tip on the Planes... Season 2 ”Episode 97”

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2022 6:04

This week Dm Scott takes on a walkthrough explaining the planes. Noo not an airplane but the planes.. The ones we walk through and do not fly in.. And he doesn't mean the plains but means the plane.. Ohh im sure this is confusing but dm Scott has you covered with his first session on the planes.. Tell us what you think about this episode and gaming in general. If you're interested in a certain topic let us know, and we'll do an episode on it! Ways to Support us!! Ways you can help support the podcast. Our Patreon Page. https://www.patreon.com/thedmd Our Home page https://www.thedungeonmastersdojo.com/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheDungeonMastersDojo On Twitter: https://twitter.com/DungeonDojo Or by Email: TheDungeonMastersDojo@Gmail.com

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Comment ne pas céder aux propositions parfois alléchantes des fonds d'investissement ?

VÉCUS - Une carrière qui a du sens.

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2022 18:22

“ Nous avons choisi de privilégier la consolidation de notre rentabilité plutôt que la forte valorisation de notre société”Elissa est la co–fondatrice de Noo, une marque française de lingerie honnête et transparente qui soutient les femmes dans la précarité en donnant une culotte pour chaque commande passée. Depuis le lancement de Noo, Elissa a fait face à de nombreuses propositions alléchantes de fonds d'investissement, pas toujours facile de les refuser.Dans ce podcast, Elissa revient sur ses apprentissages pour assurer une croissance saine et organique sans dire oui à tout :Ne pas avoir honte de sa lenteur de développementTrouver des solutions inventives pour maîtriser ses coûtsÊtre vigilante, en tant que dirigeante, à garder du temps pour travailler sur la vision et la stratégie de la marqueDiversifier les sources de financements pour ne pas avoir à dépendre de fondsLe projet de l'interviewée : https://www.noo-paris.com/La réalisatrice de ce podcast : Micheline, salariée cadre dans une grande entreprise, entreprend des actions à côté de son travail principal pour satisfaire sa curiosité et pour se rendre plus utile au collectif. Elle a suivi le parcours "Devenir entrepreneur du changement" de Ticket for Change et s'est lancée pour être podcasteuse Vécus.Vécus est un podcast collaboratif de Ticket for Change, fait par et pour les acteurs de changement. Pour suivre nos actualités : https://bit.ly/3eWoVRx Toi aussi tu veux apprendre à faire des podcasts et pourquoi pas devenir podcasteur Vécus ? Suis notre formation en ligne : https://bit.ly/3uYb3Nf Voir Acast.com/privacy pour les informations sur la vie privée et l'opt-out.

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Bedwars with sunny moon

Roblox forever

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2022 14:22

Noo

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El gallo (Infantil)