Podcasts about Creak

The 651st of a series of weekly radio programmes created by :zoviet*france: First broadcast 28 December 2024 by CJMP 90.1 FM Thanks to the artists and sound recordist included here for their fine work. track list 00 Lee Patterson - Intro 01 Julie Berry / SE Trains - 1180_this_is_a_service_update_from_the_control_centre_ 02 Jansky - A Biophony with Bells and Laughs 03 Sunroof - Earthen 04 Marco Furlanetto - Guadi estivi 05 PureH - Metatron 06 B. Tschanz, Robin Holmes - 'Luring' Calls of 3 Adult Guillemots. 1 Call from Each at Normal Speed, Followed by One from Each at ½ Speed 07 Shahnoza Nozimova - Sounds of the Final Journey (Dushanbe, Tajikistan) 08 Smegma & L'autopsie a révélé que la mort était due à l'autopsie - Transmissions 5 to 10 [extract – Transmission 5] 09 Kraken - 12 mijl buiten westen 10 Crows in the Garden - It's Growing Dark 11 Paulo Faria - Manobras_entroncamento 12 Freetousesounds - DOORHdwr_Door, Hardware, Latch, Old, Rusty, Squeak, Creak, Contact Microphone, 19232, 01 13 Nelson P. Ferreira & Rui P. Andrade - 7 3-Audio 14 Sebastiane Hegarty - Ammonite Extinction Event  15 Norah Lorway - Echo Chamber I (for Piano) 16 SiJ - Zone Entrance 17 [unknown sound recordist / Hanna-Barbera] - Breakfast – Spoon into Cereal 18 Oöphoi & Tau Ceti - Cydonia Plains 19 Longswarm - Scale at Distance ++ Lee Patterson - Outro

Hadrat Abu Zharr (ra). Session 45 The Ascetic The Heavens Creak & Indeed they should. 'Verily I ﷺ observe what you do not & I ﷺ hear what you do not. Verily the heavens are creaking (due to the awe of Allah SWT) and indeed it should creak. There is not a place equal to 4 fingers where an Angel (as) does not prostrate before Allah SWT... (related by Abu Zharr (ra) Tirmidhi).

The NETwork begins their murder investigation in earnest and encounter someone from Uther's Past. Frey invents/tries a new drink, Uther runs into an old flame, and Stynexx discovers an important clue.Hit us up with any questions or comments:Insta @crittalkerspodcastFacebook: crittalkerspodcastX: @Crittalkerspodor drop us an emailthecast@crittalkerspodcast.comMusic/Sound Effects Include:Recap voice acting by Jennifer Millard, written by Jake Prewitt"Camera Flash" by MalarBrush"The Details Intro" by Ryan S."The Details Long" by Ryan S."Rest of The Fallen" by GuilhermeBernardes via Pixabay"Comedy - Detective" by Onoychenkomusic via Pixabay"Chamber Strings" by SigmaMusicArt via Pixabay"Dizzy ellectric bolt spell 1" by FxProSound via PixabayOpening Cutscene Co-Written by Jake P. and Shane S., Lines performed by Jake P."Listen Darkly" by Ryan S."Riffle Card Shuffle" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Like This (Jungle Stomp)" by whvle via Pixabay"Fire Torch Whoosh 1" by floraphonic via Pixabay"Finger Snap" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Overflow" by agerabeatz via Pixabay"door-open-close" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Magic" by Universfield via Pixabay"Drawer OPEN" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Magic" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Magic Spell" by freesound_community via Pixabay"irongate2" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Smack" by Pixabay"fizzy water pour 001" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Crumbling sounds paper and plastic mp3" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Stirring a cup of coffee" by greatnessdon via Pixabay"Inspirational Symphony - Classical Music Loop" by Sonican via Pixabay"Shimmering Object" by freesound_community via Pixabay"squeal thing" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Gotham City (Dark Atmosphere Mysterious Cinematic Crime Music)" by AUDIOREZOUT via Pixabay"Echo Propeller" by Pixabay"Water under boat gurgling waves Manitoulin 05" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Hidden Depth (Dark Epic Crime Gothic Underground Hip Hop Beat Music)" by AUDIOREZOUT via Pixabay"American Ambiences City Street, Traffic Hum, New York City" by BryanSantosBreton via Pixabay"Tense Detective Looped Drone" by Good_B_Music via Pixabay"Eureka Cinematic Royalty Free Music" by BryanSantosBreton via Pixabay"Small Crimes" by Magiksolo via Pixabay"Knock on door" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Door Open and Close With a Creak" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Drawing sword from scabbard (3 different speeds)- Sound effect" by ShidenBeatsMusic via Pixabay"box crash" by freesound_community via Pixabay"Falling" by Universifield via Pixabay"Vomit" by SoundReality via Pixabay"Instrumental Sad Music with Piano and Violin" by UNIVERSFIELD"Car Acceleration Inside Car" via Pixabay"Car door close" by Pixabay"Woman Walking" by SoundReality via Pixabay"Taking off and Putting on Shoes" via Pixabay"smoothing" by Pixabay

Mass Movement Presents - Episode 73: When the Crypt Doors Creak And the Tombstones Quake… In which Chris chats about the comics that are currently floating his boat and the middle-aged crew yammer on about their scariest moments, the Terrifier franchise, Holland's, Lost's twentieth anniversary, Bryan Danielson's semi-retirement, their favourite Halloween movies, get Mad As Hell and take a deep dive into Mr. McMahon, Wyatt Earp and The Cowboy War and How Disney Built America. And somewhere in the midst of all that chaos, they manage to find the time to spin tracks by Rites, King of Pigs and Zero Cost Tune in, turn it up, and geek out. This one's a doozy…

This morning, Anna Geary told a joke.... AND, Ben Burrell, and the team continued with their Halloween story!

Can swim trunks really cause chaos with airport security? Join me as I recount my latest comedic escapades from life on the road. From childhood curiosities fueled by a cable-free upbringing to the quirky overreactions of the TSA when faced with my choice of travel attire, it's a rollercoaster of laughter and unexpected mishaps. Buckle up for tales of my upcoming tour dates and the hilarity of navigating the peculiarities of being a traveling comedian.Back in Austin, life's never dull with a toilet that seems to have taken up Morse code as a hobby. Between the plumbing antics and my encounters at the vibrant Creak and Cave comedy scene, there's never a dull moment. Relive my adventure with Cactus Tate's daughter and her power-wheeled toy car, where dodging the determined driver became an art form. Toss in a light-hearted nod to my non-existent Taco Bell breakfast endorsement, and you've got a charming blend of chaos and comedy.Picture the bustling streets of Chicago where spirited drivers reign supreme, and imagine the surprise of meeting a street preacher in Greenville with an unexpected twist. As we hop over to St. Louis, reminisce about local legends and laugh over the quirks of formal men's wear. We say goodbye to beloved spots like Uncle Bill's, all while cherishing the unique characters and peculiar memories that make each city special. It's a tapestry of joy, oddities, and humorous reflections that capture the essence of life on the road.

In this episode, Tani and Auk break right into shop and industry news before discussing the ongoing development of The Path's very own Feraline Cranks. Next, they discuss how to overcome disappointment and track down creaks and squeaks.

Stephen has some scary stories for you. The Wolf Girl of Devils River, The Creak, The Deerwoman, The Hawaiian Night Marchers, The Red Dot. Don't get to scared. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this episode, Swamp Dweller shares experiences from viewers ranging from disembodied voices in the woods to face-to-face encounters with dangerous people! Download Swamp Dweller Scary Stories: Itunes: https://apple.co/2L7znZp Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2WUFDG8 Check out the Swamp Dweller Merch store! http://bit.ly/32u2eh5 The Dark Swamp: Horror Stories (Episode 878) 

The yen slices right through Japan's defensive line at 160, housing sales slump as prices make one last push into truly insane territory and the equity “”markets”” are not behaving as if they are tethered to either economic data or geopolitical risk.

Would it surprise you to learn of (yet another) stealth bailout of banks? This time it's the US Treasury stepping into that role. But why now, and is this anything other than one more popping sound coming from the financial system plumbing? Tune in to learn more…

Creak! Pop! Join Chris & Paul for another revelatory and insightful romp through the world of popping financial rivets and newly sprung holes in the monetary dike. This week, the yen, gold and what the prospect of sharply higher interest rates would mean for investors.

Mass Movement Presents… Episode 62: When Hinges Creak In Doorless Chambers…. In which the middle age crew shoot the breeze about Ahsoka,Disney's Haunted Mansion, UAPs and UFOs, Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny, the return of Mousetalgia, Little Mermaid, Guardians of the Galaxy 3, Murphy's Law at The Cab, Territories and more. And somewhere in the middle of that they also manage to spin tracks by Piledriver and Territories Tune in, turn it up and geek out. This one's a doozy…

Introduction: 1. The Crisis at Jabbok Creek (v22-24a). 2. The Wrestling Match (v24b-26). 3. A New Name and a New Future (v27-30). 4. Jacob's ‘Creak' (v31-32). Conclusion: - You can't steal from God (so don't try). Stop running away (God is already there)! - We all walk with a limp (‘My grace is sufficient for your …') - Keep in step with the Spirit (Always cling to Jesus Christ).

In this episode of the Maximum Mileage Running Podcast, Faye interviews Chelsea Creak, recent women's champion of the UK/Netherlands Golden Trail Series. Part 1 - Ultra Trail SnowdoniaNick did the 55K distance at UTS this year and found it extremely challenging even at the shorter distance. He had planned to do the 100 miler originally.The race involves very technical terrain including grade 1 scrambles. The weather can also be highly variable with cold, wet, and windy conditions, or like in 2023, it can be oppressively warm!Faye agrees it's crucial for runners to carefully review course profiles and aid station distances rather than blindly entering races just because they sound cool. Slow veteran runners can take 24+ hours to finish a mountain 100K.They recommend entrants get experience on the actual course ahead of time if possible and consider hiring a coach for proper preparation. Don't just follow a generic training plan.Part 2 - Interview with Chelsea CreakChelsea recently won the women's Golden Trail Series for the UK and Netherlands.She started running after her husband entered her in the Man vs Horse Marathon in Wales back in 2016 which sparked her interest.She qualified for the UK finals in 2022 but had to drop out due to a bad ankle injury. She came back stronger than ever in 2023 to win the series.Her advice for new trail runners is to join group runs and clubs to meet supportive people who can provide guidance on gear, training, and racing.Thanks for being part of our running community. Keep clocking those miles, keep pushing your limits, and above all, keep finding joy in the run. See you on the next episode of Maximum Mileage Running Podcast! JOIN OUR FREE FACEBOOK GROUP! Your support here helps to keep making content and weekly podcast episodes... in return, you will have access to fantastic discounts through our numerous partners, plus we upload lots more content and chat to help you with your running! Thanks to all our partners at Maximum Mileage who you can get huge discounts via the Maximum Mileage Facebook Group! : Runderwear https://www.runderwear.co.uk/ Truestart Coffee https://www.truestartcoffee.com/ Torq Fitness https://www.torqfitness.co.uk/ Protein Works https://www.theproteinworks.com/ Ugoku Projects https://ugokuprojects.com/ Solemate https://www.sole-mate.uk/ You can find more resources including the blog or enquire about having one...

4:29:59 – Welcome, hosts and listeners of The Onsug radio universe, to come and join a freeform chat in video, which will be released in audio. The Exit Ramp continues for another amazing group show! Host Frank from The Overnightscape is joined by Dave in Kentucky from his various shows, Ruben from Australia (from The Rubenerd Show), Michael Feir from Canada, […]

Join Premium! Ready for an ad-free meditation experience? Join Premium now and get every episode from ALL of our podcasts completely ad-free now! Just a few clicks makes it easy for you to listen on your favorite podcast player.  Become a PREMIUM member today by going to --> https://WomensMeditationNetwork.com/premium Allow time to pause, listen and reflect.  PAUSE… Build into your day a space to pause. PAUSE… Find a spot in your physical surroundings, Where can create this pause.  PAUSE… Now breathe in and exhale slowly through your nose. PAUSE… Use this moment in time, To actively breathe and listen. LONG PAUSE… Observe what you hear… LONG PAUSE… Your constant, thumping heartbeat,  Warm, rhythmic breath, Stomach gurgles, Creak of toes or knees PAUSE… Then listen outwardly, Into your space you created… PAUSE… Become aware of  simple noises, All around you… LONG PAUSE… Breathe and take it all in. PAUSE… Quietly slow your mind. Gather in all the details. Reflect on what you hear. PAUSE… Allow yourself to deeply listen into your body and all around you. LONG PAUSE… To embody what we heard, see, feel, To really pause and listen,  We experience, grow, connect and reflect. To figure out who we are and who we want to become.  Namaste, Beautiful.    

Bicycle Talk Episode 362:  September 13th 2023:    Ron's Rant: .  911  tough day. And traffic calming. Wake up America!    On a positive side:  Ron introduces his guest Barbara Amodio. And of course how about that Sepp Kuss and team Jumbo Visma!  Westfield, MA did it!  Mechanical minute and cycling tips: The Creak resolved. […]

We had an blast at Bloodstock, homies, riffs and sunshine. You can't ask for much more. We run down our first time at the fest, were treated to sick sets from show favourites like Fit For an Autopsy, Knocked Loose, Gatecreeper and more. We also witnessed headline sets from some of the best bands on the planet. Absolute bloody rager. Also this week we had to shout out 2 fantastic records. Nott deliver galactic devastation of the highest order while Creak just spiked a gigantic flag in the UK heavy scene.

Hey there, fellow music enthusiasts! Ever had a song that was so good it felt like it ended too quickly? Join us as we yearn for more of Infinite's funky new track, 'New Emotions', and groove to the electrifying bass drop that left us in awe of their dynamic comeback. Wrapped in playful lyrics and a disco sound, it's a thrilling ride that sadly only lasts 2 minutes and 47 seconds. We also listened to the playfully sweet NewJeans 'Super Shy', an anthem to all crushes across the ages. The music is bringing back memories of the Power Puff Girls, and you'll find out why...You've heard DOLLA's new track 'DAMELO', right? If not, prepare to be enchanted by its Latin vibes, reggaeton beats, and a blend of Spanish, Malay, and English lyrics. This sultry, empowering anthem is sure to get you moving! We'll also journey into the mysterious world of SixTONES new song 'CREAK', a suspenseful, adrenaline-filled number, and we check out Snow Man's jazzy 'Dangerholic' (this song really got us up and moving!) Plus, we'll share our thoughts on the intriguing visuals and unique costumes featured in the music videos for both groups.Finally, we find ourselves pondering a somewhat contentious topic - the unspoken age rule in the music industry. How does it impact an artist's promotion and career? We'll discuss NEWS, a J-Pop group that's defying these norms and still making waves after fifteen years. And of course, we'll chat about the simple, timeless joy that a song like 'Baby Shark' brings to people of all ages. So get ready, fellow music lovers, as we navigate the tunes and talk of this melodious world together on this episode!Infinite info:InstagramTwitterYouTubeNewJeans info:InstagramTwitterYouTubeDOLLA info:InstagramTwitterYouTubeSixTONES info:InstagramTwitterYouTubeTikTokSnow Man info:InstagramTwitterYouTubeTikTokSupport the showPlease help Music Elixir by rating, reviewing, and sharing the episode. We appreciate your support!Follow us on:TwitterInstagram If have questions, comments, or requests click on our form:Music Elixir FormDJ Panic Blog:OK ASIA

In hour four, several hot takes were made about food including pizza tasting better out of a box and Ice Cream Cake slander from Hoch. Plus, more stories about Crowder's uncle Cecil and we play Solana's Chocolate Cake disaster. 

The other day Josh had to go to the DMV to renew his ID and of course it was a whole ordeal. There's mistaken identity, a brewing revolution, and even some budding romance. Josh and Logan are coming to Texas! May 31st at the Secret Group in Houston https://www.eventbrite.com/e/josh-johnson-comedy-central-jimmy-fallon-the-daily-show-tickets-617367933107 June 1st-3rd (5 shows!) at Creak and the Cave in Austin https://www.creekandcave.com/shows/josh-johnson-68039 June 4th at Hyena's in Dallas https://www.prekindle.com/event/84452-josh-johnson-dallas Join the JJS Patreon for bonus episodes, videos and much more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/joshjohnsonshow⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find Josh's albums and socials at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/joshjohnsoncomedy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check out Logan's projects and social media at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/logannielsen⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get in the mailbag by emailing joshjohnsonshow@gmail.com Music by Brad Kemp. Find his stuff and hire him at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.secondbedroomstudio.com/

VISIT WWW.THATONETIMEIWASABDUCTEDBYALIENS.COM TO SEE MORE THE TOTIWABA MULTIVERSE HAS TO OFFER. FIND THE SHOW- TWITTER - https://twitter.com/TOTIWABA TIKTOK- https://www.tiktok.com/@thatonetimeiwasabducted FIND BOBBY - TWITTER - https://twitter.com/Pinballbobby NFE PODCAST - https://notforeveryone.libsyn.com/ FIND TONY - TWITTER - https://twitter.com/bottwater BOTTLED WATER PODCAST - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgKQuroKFE3BqaA2ng44d-g BUY TONY A COFFEE - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bottwater2r FIND BRI - TWITTER - https://twitter.com/MattsBri FIND KARI - TWITTER - https://twitter.com/FiresOfTruth FIND JAIMIE - LOL NOPE HELP SUPPORT TOTIWABA https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/jaimieraebillings GET MERCH - https://www.thatonetimeiwasabductedbyaliens.com/shop JOIN OUR DISCORD - https://discord.gg/gkgD5DcDue

Robbie Savage and Chris Sutton took your calls on Saturday's football action. We heard from fans from both sides of Manchester after United won the derby in controversial fashion. We also took calls regarding another Liverpool defeat whilst Everton, Leicester and West Ham fans also bemoaned their sides' poor runs of form. There was also a thrilling head-to-head in Gone in 60 as we looked ahead to the North London Derby. This show originally aired on 14th January 2023 on BBC Radio 5 Live.

Jimbo has Liam Tharme and Sasha Goryunov for company to reflect on a quite spectacular performance by Brazil who blew past South Korea. Natalie Gedra gives us her thoughts on the Seleção's dominating display at Stadium 974. Brazil will face Croatia in the quarter-finals after Luka Modric and co huffed and puffed their way past Japan in a game that featured perhaps the worst penalty shoot out of all time. Also in the podcast, we look ahead to Tuesday's last 16 ties, with Switzerland taking on Portugal and Alvaro Romeo giving his thoughts on Spain's match with Morocco. Make sure you join us again tomorrow to see how it all goes down. Produced by Charlie Jones and Ben Green Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feed the dog! Changing your pitch patterns can help your listeners understand your emotions and meaning. In this week's This Is A Voice podcast (Season 6 Episode 12), expert vocal trainers Dr Gillyanne Kayes & Jeremy Fisher use the sentence "Feed the dog" to showcase different pitch patterns and meanings. We read out the instructions from the second half of exercise 26 (page 84 of This Is A Voice) and show you step by step how to change meaning, intonation and interest in your speaking voice. Jeremy reads out a paragraph of text with two very different pitch patterns (it's almost like singing), and Gillyanne shares a very simple exercise to help non-singers process their own spoken voice pitch patterns.  Jeremy also demonstrates two different pitch patterns that can become irritating if repeated - the upward inflection and the creak down. There's a BRILLIANT exercise borrowed from UCL's phonetics department for speaking voice inflection that's very close to science fiction, and Jeremy demonstrates all four versions of the exercise to create four different emotional states.(You can go to the free preview of our Pitch, Pace & Power webinar where we explore this more here https://vocal-process-hub.teachable.com/courses/the-vocal-technique-learning-lounge/lectures/27906956) Get the This Is A Voice book here https://amzn.to/3A9steN Get the One Minute Voice Warmup app here, it's got a 4.9star rating Appstore https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/one-minute-voice-warmup/id1212802251 Google Play https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.speechtools.warmup&hl=en_GB&pli=1 Sam and Garry at Speechtools are here https://speechtools.co/ We've also got this! ↓ The 5 Days to Better Singing Teaching course online, with voice coaching techniques, vocal articulation exercises and a LOT more for the up-to-date singing teacher is here https://vocal-process-hub.teachable.com/p/5-days-to-better-singing-teaching For the best self-guided learning check out the Vocal Process Learning Lounge - 16 years of vocal coaching resources (over 600 videos) for less than the price of one private singing lesson. Click and scroll down the page for the free previews https://vocal-process-hub.teachable.com/p/the-vocal-technique-learning-lounge For real 1-1 attention on your own voice, book a voice coaching session in the singing studio with Jeremy or Gillyanne https://drgillyannekayesjeremyfisherinspirationsession.as.me/schedule.php If you want to discover if our singing teacher training programme works for YOU, message us - we can share the process for joining Cohort23. Sign up for the Vocal Process newsletter https://vocalprocess.co.uk/build-your-own-tilting-larynx/ Check out our brand new Voice Journal, written with Rayvox's Oren Boder https://www.rayvox.co.uk/products/voice-journal Find us - follow us on the socials!

Wherein we cock the cuckcoo's head one hour to the left and bump geese with R.L. Stine on our way to the 90s.  Sit around our campfire and swap a story with us:  gwritersanon@gmail.com  Creak open the door to our Facebook page for upcoming episode teasers (Ghost Writers, Anonymous).  

In this episode, John talks with author and voice teacher Becky Gilhespie about the terms Creak, Cry, Tilt, Twang, and Sob, and why you need to know what these are.  Episode Highlights:  How using different postures of the voice can boost frequencies  Vocal fry and how it is similar to "creak" How to feel where the vocal fold muscles are to be able to fine-tune the voice "Cry" and how it can add so much emotive quality to the singing voice To learn more about Becky Gilhespie visit: fearlesssingingacademy.com To learn more about John Henny, his best-selling books, courses, VoiceSchool.com, and the Contemporary Voice Teacher Academy, visit: johnhenny.com

While recovering from his injuries, Lemuel Roberts (The Deadeye Kid) must try and make peace between two local factions - a group of Swedish loggers (please overlook our sincere attempt at translation) and a team of Yorkshire miners - neither of which speaks any English that Lem can understand... Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw - J. Hoverson Doc - Russell Gold Mrs. Doc - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard Ezra - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Beamish - Judith Moore The Yorkshire Miners: Scabby Bill:  John Lingard Will Watt Stevie K. Farnaby Danar Hoverson Paul Green The Swedish Loggers: Oly - Lothar Tuppan Nels - Danar Hoverson Mark Olson Cary Ayers Bill Jones Reynaud Leboeuf Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock Announcer:  Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme:  "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. **********************************************************************   Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] EPISODE 1 (from end of previous story) SOUND FADES IN AND OUT [Lem has been shot] COMMANDER    Hold on, there, fellow. LEM    [vague] all's well? COMMANDER    We got em. LEM    My pack? COMMANDER    I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR    [to Lem] Bite down on this.  [slightly off, urgent, but not loud] He's lost a lot of blood! FADE OUT BOOTMAKER    I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them.  You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT MRS. DOC    Just a little bit of broth, mister.  You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM    [annoyed moan] FANSHAW    You're awake. LEM    [quiet]  Anyone--? FANSHAW    Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM    Good.  [groan]  I been shot? FANSHAW    At least twice, judging by the bandages.  Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say.  I should have been watching. LEM    [reassuring] Cain't leave you to do everythin.   Scotty? FANSHAW    When they returned with his body, I saw no sign of him. LEM    Good. FANSHAW    I sincerely hope so.  [awkward pause, then stiffly]  Should I ...go? LEM    Go?  go where? FANSHAW    [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace.  To rest.  I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM    [straining a bit]  Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW    I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM    [satisfied]  Good. FANSHAW    I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM    Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got sumpin on yer mind. FANSHAW    Oh. LEM    Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW    [bracing breath]  Yes. LEM    [exasperated snort]  Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW    Yes. LEM    [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW    [shock] So she did--? LEM    [shrug]  Yup.  So? FANSHAW    [surprised] So? LEM    You cain't be the first. FANSHAW    First? LEM    Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW    But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM    Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW    I... don't? LEM    'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants.  FANSHAW    What? SOUND    GUNSHOTS, DISTANT LEM    [straining to get up] Oh hell.  Where's my britches? FANSHAW    Before you do yourself some harm trying to get up, I'll gather up my shame and go have a look. LEM    [lies back with a groan] SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES SOUND    ANOTHER GUNSHOT SOUND    DOOR OPENS MRS. DOC    Oh!  You are awake.  I thought I heard your voice! LEM    I was just thinking out loud, ma'am - uh - you don't seem real worried?  About the gunshots? MRS. DOC    [unconcerned] Oh, that.  My husband just had to run off a couple of unwanted patients. LEM    [baffled] Ma'am? MRS. DOC    Oh, my stars!  You won't even remember!  You were shot, and back in town, you were throwing five fits and comin all over feverish, so Mister Brand, that's my husband - [pride] Doctor Brand, that is - he brought you out here with us. LEM    Out... here? MRS. DOC    Doctor Brand is the only medical man for three counties!  Leastways, the only one that doctors people.  So we get around time to time, and much as he didn't want to move you, he also didn't want to leave you in anyone else's care, poorly as you were.  So we brought you along, and the move seems to have done you right good.  You slept peaceful ever since we got here. LEM    Ah.  You help me to remember to thank him for his concern, would you, ma'am? MRS. DOC    [beaming] I'm sure he'll be pleased enough to hear that you're able to thank him. LEM    And the gunshots--? MRS. DOC    [rueful] Well, you see, the local fellows are having an ..."altercation", and Doctor Brand has refused to aid either side, even if they're near dying, until they patch it up. LEM    Altercation? MRS. DOC    I'm sure he'll tell you about that himself.  You don't need any such concern right now.  What you do need is a good solid cup of broth, and I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail. LEM    You're too kind. SOUND    SHE BUSTLES OUT, DOOR SHUTS LEM    [sigh]  Yeah? FANSAW    The good lady is correct.  You really don't need this concern right now. LEM    [annoyed] It'll fret me more knowin there's sumpin to be concerned about and not bein told what it tis. FANSAW    [slight chuckle] It will, won't it?  Very well, but you lie back down while I regale you.  LEM    [grunt, pause] Right, then.  Go on with the regalin'. FANSAW    Two men had a third, bleeding from a head wound, but ambulatory - um, up and walking.  They were yelling at the doctor, but I couldn't make out anything.  They didn't seem to be speaking-- SOUND    DOOR OPENS MRS. DOC    Here you go.  Been reducing for three days - that'll put some strength back into you. LEM    Smells right fine.  But that's an awful small cup, ma'am, if you don't mind me sayin, for a pow'rful hunger like I got. MRS. DOC    [tsks] First we see if you can keep it down, Mister... [uncertain] oh.... LEM    Roberts. MRS. DOC    Roberts. Of course. I'm such a scatterbrain. LEM    Cain't take offense til we're properly introduced, nohow, ma'am.  MRS. DOC    You're too kind.  DOC    [calling, off] Irene?  Missus? MRS. DOC    Ah, looks like the doctor's got everything handled.  FANSHAW    The gunshots were all on the doctor's side, I might add. MRS. DOC    [up, sweetly] I'm in the back bedroom!  [back to Lem] Now you sip a bit, if it's not yet too hot. LEM    [sips] Mm.  A mite.  But I can use some warming. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS COME IN DOC    Ah!  Well, this is just the sort of good news I needed.  [to wife] I've been having more trouble with those fellows. MRS. DOC    They don't mean no harm! DOC    To us, no.  To each other, though...! LEM    What's this trouble yer havin', doc? DOC    Nothing you need worry on.  Not yet, leastways. LEM    But I can-- DOC    Tomorrow.  If you're still improving, I'll tell you everything over breakfast.  For now, you need yer rest. LEM    Can we speak, man to man, sir? MRS. DOC    Goodness, I think I'd best go and check on the biscuits. DOC    You do that. SOUND    SHE LEAVES, DOOR SHUTS DOC    She does make some fair biscuits.  [teasing] And she doesn't listen in. FANSHAW    Should I leave? LEM    No.  [smooth] I reckon a doctor's wife should oughtta be used to checking on her biscuits. DOC    [laughs]  You seem to be doing pretty well, for a man shot and come through fever.  That's excellent.  You keep on with that broth, though.  Ain't out of the woods jest yet. LEM    It's the fever I wanna ask about.  Your good wife let slip that I was a mite... FANSHAW    Garralous? LEM    hmph.  ...rambly? DOC    You kept going on about hearing folks talking to you, even in an empty room.  LEM    "Folks."  Ah. DOC    Funny thing is, you even named them from time to time, and I swear not a one of them was someone who coulda been there. LEM    [careful] Whyzzat? DOC    The one or two I recognized your naming of - well, they're ... "passed on". LEM    I - I musta heard the names somewhere. DOC    Can I speak frankly with you, sir?  And you let me know if this is the least bit upsetting to your digestion, you hear? LEM    Ayup. DOC    Well, then.  I'm purt near sure I know why you were calling out to dead folks. LEM    You...do? DOC    Seen it before - more'n once, even. FANSHAW    Really? DOC    You ain't alone, son.  LEM    [unsure] I'm... not? DOC    Many's the fellow standing at death's door - and you were right close there for a while - that hears spirits try and call him through. LEM    Ahhh. FANSHAW    Really, they were being rather annoying. LEM    [slight snort] Did I ... say anything that might be important? DOC    I didn't hear, but I can ask my wife.  She sat in the wagon with you when we made the trip - she told you we'd moved you? LEM    She mentioned that you didn't feel right leaving me behind. DOC    The trip seems to have done you good, too.  Fever broke while we were on route.  Quieted you right down. FANSHAW    And there are less spirits here than in town.  At least not around the house.  None to harass you. LEM    And where are we now, then? DOC    I should really call a halt to all this inquiry, and let you sleep. LEM    I promise I won't ask one more thing, if'n you'll kindly tell me where I am. DOC    We're ten miles and a county line away from where we were.  Near the town of Silt Creek.  LEM    Miners? DOC    [smiling] Now now, you promised no more questions.  Can you finish the last of that? LEM    [slurps the broth down] DOC    Good.  If you're still awake in an hour, I'll see that you get some more.  But do try and sleep. SOUND    LEAVES THE ROOM FANSHAW    They seem a nice couple. LEM    Tell me more about what was going on out there. FANSHAW    Lem, You're hardly in any condition-- LEM    I'm gonna be gettin enough coddlin from the likes of them.  Stop actin like an old woman and-- FANSHAW    Very well.  When I went out there, the three men were standing on the road leading up to the house.  The doctor had a shotgun aimed at them.  They were saying something, but I couldn't make it out-- LEM    Were they strapped? FANSHAW    I saw no guns, but they-- SOUND    TAP, SCRATCH AT THE WINDOW FANSHAW    I'll see.  [pause] I'm not certain, but I think it's one of them! LEM    [hushed] How many out there? FANSHAW    Two.  They're trying to get the window open! SOUND    CREAK, RUSTLE OF BEDCLOTHES LEM    [groan as he gets up] Where the devil are my guns? END   EPISODE 2 SOUND    FABRIC BEING SHOVED AROUND LEM    [quiet] Dammit! FANSHAW    Lem, they are trying to leever open the window.  If there ever was a time to call for the doctor and his shotgun, this would be it! LEM    I don't-- SOUND    CREAK, CRACK OF WOOD LEM    Ah hell.  [up] Doc!  Bring your gun!  Doc? SOUND    SOMETHING HEAVY DROPS OUTSIDE SOUND    GLASS BREAKS OLY    [You got it?] [du fick den?] SVEN    [I got it.  Quick, get inside!]  [Jag har det. Snabbt, gå in.] LEM    What the hell kinda talk is that? FANSHAW    Something Nordic, perhaps?  I am hardly an expert! LEM    And where's the Doc? FANSHAW    That I can check on. SOUND    THUMP AS MAN CLAMBERS INTO THE ROOM LEM    Stop right there! OLY    [keep quiet and do not move!] [hålla tyst och inte röra mig!] SVEN    [outside] [is everything all right?] [Är allt okej?] OLY    [Someone is in here.  I can handle it.] [Någon här inne. Jag kan hantera det.] MRS. DOC    [off - scream, more surprise than fear/pain] LEM    Dammit!  Where's my blasted guns? OLY    [Hold your tongue!] [håll din tunga] SOUND    FANSHAW COMES IN FANSHAW     [agitated] Lem, they have broken in from the front as well, and are holding the lady.  The Doctor has given up his weapon. OLY    [barks orders to those outside] [go around front.  Leave Borr and Fredek to watch.] [går runt framsidan. Lämna Borr och Fredek att titta på.] LEM    [side of mouth]  What they threatenin' to do? FANSHAW    I don't know... but I don't think they do either. OLY    [shut up!]  [Håll käften!] FANSHAW    He's gesturing for you to remain quiet.  If necessary, it's one rap for yes, two for no, agreed? SOUND    ONE QUIET RAP SVEN    [outside, question]  [you want the axe?]  [Vill du ha yxan?] OLY    [annoyed] [go around and come in through the front!] [gå runt och komma in genom fronten!] FANSHAW    I say Lem, I should like to go back and make sure there's no-- SOUND    ONE RAP FANSHAW    Right, then. SOUND    FANSHAW EXITS OLY    [Get up now and come with me] [Stig upp nu, och kom med mig.] LEM    [slowly] I don't understand. OLY    [slowly] [YOU get up and come with me] [Du får upp och komma med mig] LEM    Come with?  I been shot.  Weak.  Cain't walk. OLY    [shouting] [Get up!] [Upp med dig!] LEM    [muttered, resigned] All right then. SOUND    BEDCLOTHES RUSTLE, SLOW FOOTSTEP, COLLAPSE TO THE FLOOR LEM    [moans] Dammit. FADE MRS. DOC    [weeping] DOC    Let me go to my wife! BJORN    [angry words]  [just stay right there.  No fast moves!] [Stanna där. Inga snabba rörelser!] DOC    [trying to be calm, but speaking from across the room] Lydia, be brave.  We'll get this all sorted out. BJORN    [warning noise] FANSHAW    At least there's nothing unseemly going on.  That would simply be too much.  If only Lem had his guns.  There's no more that six of them, large as they are.  And not one seems to have a firearm. OLY    [Someone come and carry this fool.]  [Någon kom och bära denna idiot.] AKE    [question] [Should I go?] [Ska jag gå?] BJORN    [go!] [Go!] SOUND    ARNOT RUNS OFF DOWN THE HALL. BJORN    [barks orders] [tie them up!]  [Binned upp dem!] SOUND    CHAIRS PULLED OVER, CREAK OF ROPES MRS. DOC    [gaspy shriek] DOC    There ain't no call for this!  How dare you lay hands on a lady! BJORN    Shh! FANSHAW    Well.  That anyone can understand. FADE LEM    [muttered]  I never thought Swedes were this ornery.  Only ones I ever met were right peaceable. FANSHAW    I think it's - well, it isn't "all right", but I do think they're only doing this to get help. LEM    eh? FANSHAW    The loudest one out front was shoving the doctor at a wounded man. SOUND    AKE WALKS IN OLY    [help me move him] [Hjälp mig att flytta honom!] OLY and AKE    [Grunts as they move Lem] LEM    [sharp hiss, trying not to cry out from pain] Fanshaw    Be prepared.  They have the doctor's lady tied to a chair, to enforce his aid. Lem    Damn. AKE    [laughs] [he knows one word!] [Han vet ett ord!] OLY    [shush] [tyst] FADE Doc    [speaking looud and slow] stitches.  He needs stitches.  I will have to sew that gash on his head. SWEDES    [muttering] Doc    [normal speed] untie my hands and I'll show you, you blasted idjets! Mrs. Doc    [calmer, but a little hoarse from cying] Too bad we lost Nels last month. SVEN    Nels?   Doc    If Nels weren't dead, everything would be easier. SVEN    [angry] [Vad är det du säger om Nels?] Doc    Nels.  Yes.  He was a good man. SOUND    MEN SHUFFLING IN CARRYING LEM Lem    [wincing in pain] Who's this Nels? Sven    [angry] [You shut up about Nels!] [Du hålla käften om Nels!] OLY    [Be quiet.  If nels was here, there would be no problem.  You know that.] [Var tyst. Om kanaler var här, skulle det inte vara något problem. Du vet att.] FANSHAW    [speculative] Sounds like Nels is ...dead?  Hmm. LEM    [quiet] Go on then. SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES SOUND    SETTING LEM DOWN IN CHAIR AKE    [Should we tie him up?] [ska vi binda upp honom?] OLY    [He cannot even stand.  Leave him.] [Han kan inte ens stå. Lämna honom.] FADE SOUND    OUTSIDE NOISES FANSHAW    Nels?  I say, is there a Nels around? FITCH    [whispered, urgent] Shut tha gob!  [shut your mouth] FANSHAW    Heavens!  Hello? FITCH    [whispered, urgent] Gi o'er screetin'! [stop talking] FANSHAW    Are you addressing me? FITCH    [whispered, urgent] They'ull suss us're laikin about.  Whilst us'm left bugger-all, and all that.  {they'll figure out we're out here, leaving us with nothing} SCABBY BILL    Pikey's off his head drownt, in't him? [pikey's drunk] PIKEY    [drunken chortle] FANSHAW    That's a relief - of a sort.  Rather than a dead swede, I find a party of my own countrymen - of a sort - encroaching on an already sticky situation.  Bloody hell.  [sigh] I'd best relay this. FADE DOC    I can't do him any good without my bag.  [louder, and gesturing] Bag! OLY    [thinking] Bag.  Ja.  Mrs. Doc    Maybe they understand needle and thread.  Show them. FANSHAW    Lem, just listen.  I've not found Nels, but felt I had to come back and inform you that there are men approaching in a sort of ambush formation outside. LEM    Hmm? FANSHAW    Not more of the Swedes - I suspect these are the fellows who the alteraction is with - or against.  At any rate, they speak English - of a sort - so they won't be so hard to deal with, assuming that they don't simply stage an attack and kill everyone. LEM    Cheery. FANSHAW    And my apologies for not thinking of this before-- LEM    [impatient sigh] FANSHAW    But I did see where the doctor placed your guns and other belongings - they are in the chest at the foot of the bed you awoke in. LEM    Hmph. DOC    [slowly and loudly] You - look through my bag!  You see?  Noooo weapons.  Give bag, let me help your friend. LEM    [quickly] Doc, I think I hear some men outside. OLY    [Hell!  Nels always had bad timing!]  [Helvete! Nels hade alltid dålig timing!] SVEN    [Do not talk about Nels that way!] [Prata inte om Nels det sättet!] Mrs. Doc    Nels?  [slowly, but nicely] Nels was a good man. SVEN    [good man] God Manniska.  Ya. OLY    [Hmph.  give the doctor his bag.] [ge läkaren sin väska.] FADE FITCH    Red, tha tike Jimmy and Sike, and skeg ap gate.  Keep Pikey downwind, me - guff alone'd make a dozey twonk. [red, you take jimmy and sike and look out front.  I'll keep pikey downwind.  His farts alone would make you stupid.] PIKEY    [drunken laugh] FANSHAW    I shall have to leave them to their machinations while I find this Nels.  [quiet] Please god I shall find him.  [up] Nels?  Nels! PIKEY    Tha 'ear owt? [you hear anything?] FITCH    Oyl and shoon. [Hole and shoes - shut your mouth and walk] FADE SOUND    SCISSORS SNIP DOC    [professional brisk] That needs to stay clean, which means-- MRS. DOC    Dear? DOC    [heavy sigh] Right.  [back to loud and slow] Clean.  Wash.  Alcohol. Whiskey? SWEDES    [approving noises]  ya ya.  Whiskey. DOC    [brisk] I have no idea if they understand a word. LEM    That last word I'd say they did. Mrs. Doc    They're watching you real close.  They might be getting some of this. At least some of our words are kind of similar.  "Help", for instance. OLY    [Help?  Help what?] [Hjalp?  Hjalp vad?] MRS. DOC    It's almost like he understood me. LEM    I wouldn't go thinkin' these fellers is fools.  They don't even seem to mind us talkin, now that the doc's on with his  business. DOC    You think they'll leave now? LEM    So this feller you were talkin about - the one who had some English - do I take it he's deceased? DOC    [agreeing] Mm-hm.  Hatchet flew off the handle, caught him in the side of the head.  It weren't quick, and it weren't pretty, and there weren't a durn thing I coulda done. LEM    So long as they're leavin us to talk amonst ourselves, doc, you were sayin there's some sort of dustup in this here valley? DOC    These fellers - loggers, they are - have some issue with the miners down at the other end of the valley.  They been getting along just fine for a donkey's years, and all of a sudden I ride in this trip to find them at odds and whaling on each other every chance they get. MRS. DOC    Perhaps it is merely a misundertanding?  With Ne- [catches herself] With their one translator passed on, could this all be a terrible mistake? LEM    Might could be.  These miners, they speak English?  Not chineee or sumpin? DOC    English they are, but kind of funny til you get used to it.   LEM    Then I think they's the ones a-creepin up on the house.  I heered just a snatch of voices a while back, and it certain sure weren't Swedes. MRS. DOC    What do we do? LEM    I doubt me you're in any danger, missus, any more than you would be from these fellers. Them out there probably want the doc's help too. MRS. DOC    Even after he sent everyone packing this afternoon? LEM    Even more so.  But they's like to be some fightin once you get'em all in one place. MRS. DOC    Oh no! DOC    If only these fellers would let me speak to them outside. LEM    I'm not sure as they've even noticed-- OLY    [hey!  Someone's outside!] [hey! Någon utanför!] AKE    [I hear them!] [Jag hör dem!] LEM    Never mind. SVEN    [do not let them come in!] [Låt dem inte komma in!] FADE FANSHAW    [sigh] This is about as far as I can go.  I don't know quite where the logger's camp might be‑‑ EZRA    Hello. FANSHAW    Hel-lo? EZRA    Will you play with me? FANSHAW    Oh, dear. [end]   EPISODE 3 1_EZRA EZRA [child]    What's your name? FANSHAW    [dread] Fanshaw. EZRA    That's a funny sort of name. FANSHAW    I expect so.  And yours? EZRA    Ezra.  Ezra Peacote.  FANSHAW    Ezra.  Can you point me to the logger's encampment? EZRA    Sure I can!  You go on down this road a piece, then watch fer where all the trees is gone. FANSHAW    I'm afraid this is as far as I can go, just at the moment.  Can you go to the logging camp? EZRA    I go there all the time to watch them cut down the trees.  I'm gonna cut down trees when I grow up. FANSHAW    [sorrowful] Oh.  I see.     FADE 2_barricade SOUND    SHIFTING FURNITURE OLY    [block that window!  Put out the lamp!] [block som fönster! Släck lampan!] SVEN    [yes! PUSH!]  [Ja! Tryck!] SWEDES    [GRUNTS as they shove furniture] DOC    Stop all this!  Let me talk to them!  AKE    [What if they come in the back?] [Tänk om de kommer i bakvägen?] Mrs. Doc    Oh, please don't let them tear up my house, husband! That china cabinet was my mother's!  DOC    I'll watch the entire house burn to cinders if it means keeping you safe, Irene. LEM    [muttered to self] All I'm watchin is a passel o' people payin no mind to the ailin' feller in the corner.  [chuckles]  It's a wonder how often it helps to seem a mite more poorly than y'really are.      FADE 3_angel FANSHAW    Ezra, you and I need to have a long talk, but that will have to wait.  There's some people in danger, and we are the only ones who can help them. EZRA    Helping is what I'm here fer.  Not that I had much chance, yet.  I'm an angel, you know. FANSHAW    A - what? EZRA    You do know what an angel is, dontcha? FANSHAW    Oh, of course, I've just...  I've never seen one. EZRA    Mama always said that all young'uns who dies of the consumption come up angels. FANSHAW    [sigh of relief] So you know that you passed on? EZRA    Yessir.  But don't sound so sad - it's all right.  I don't cough no more. FANSHAW    You shall have to tell me more about your mama - but first we must help, yes?     FADE 4_irons SOUND    DOOR CREAKS OPEN SOUND    SLOW CAREFUL FOOTSTEPS  [voices from back in the front room] OLY    [yelling to them outside]  [we know you are there!  Stand up and be counted!] [vi vet att du är där! Stå upp och räknas] DOC    [also yelling] They have my shotgun!  Stay clear! MRS. DOC    Please, all of you, don't hurt anyone.  We must be able to work this out! SOUND    DOOR EASES SHUT LEM    [sigh of relief]  Plumb clear ain't none of these fellers got much of a head fer fightin, or they'd have a man back here in case of-- PIKEY    [slurred, off]  Eyup!  Naught but oiyl!  As ah allus sez  - let winder open, best as well put parkin in yune - an ahl tell thi that fer nowt.  [hey - nothing but a hole!  As I always say, leave the window open, might as well bake a cake [and invite people in], and I'll tell you that for free] LEM    [hushed but urgent] Dammit!  SOUND    THUMPS AS HE CRAWLS, THEN TRUNK OPENS SOUND    NOISES OF CLIMBING FROM OUTSIDE SOUND    SEARCHING THE TRUNK LEM    [searching for his guns] Where are they?  Dammit!     FADE 5_get nels EZRA    Nels?  I'll go and ask.  There's a couple of fellers at the logging camp, but I ain't never talked to none of them.  They talk funny. FANSHAW    If he's there, Nels will be the one who CAN speak some English. EZRA    I'm a-going.  [slight pause] Say, Mr. Fanshaw, do you think this might could earn me my wings?  I shore would love to be able to fly away and watch over my mama instead. FANSHAW    [bright] I don't know, truly, but I suspect good deeds will always stand you in good stead.  You go on, now.  [pause]  [small sob]     FADE 6_put em up SOUND    THUMP - THEY'RE IN THE ROOM. SCABBY BILL    Bleeding muttonheads, innit?  Leaving the drawbridge down and draining the moat fer us. PIKEY    Inno moat.  [laughs, then smothers it] An thou clap clack on me gone khalied. [And you talk about me being drunk] SCABBY BILL    Shu'up. PIKEY    SHHHHHHHhhhhhh. [sort of damp and spitty] SCABBY BILL    [dry] Thanks, now I dinna need no washup. OLY    [off]  [Who the devil is watching the back?] [Vem fan tittar på baksidan?] AKE    [off]  [I thought bjorn was!] [Jag tyckte det var Björn] BJORN    [off]  [Ake was supposed to--] [Åke var tänkt att titta på] OLY    [furious growl]  [Get back there!] [Komma tillbaka dit!] SOUND    FEET APPROACH SCABBY BILL    Get set to swing that crow, and be chary you don't smite my crown. PIKEY    Nowt missed owt threp yet. [never missed a smack yet] SOUND    DOORKNOB TURNS SCABBY BILL    Shh! SOUND    DOOR OPENS PIKEY    [loud attack] Right! SOUND    HAMMERS CLICK, TWO GUNS LEM    All y'all hold it right there.  [up] GUN, savvy? PIKEY    What? LEM    Drop em. SOUND    CROWBAR DROPS TO GROUND, SOMETHING WOOD TOO SCABBY BILL    What gate of hell spewed you forth? LEM    No place so trick.  You should oughtta check the corners and the shadows when yer breakin inter a body's home. AKE    [slightly off] Gun?  LEM    Yes, gun! SOUND    SOMETHING DROPS IN THE HALL PIKEY    Now, lad, us'n't doin nowt-- SCABBY BILL    You have to understand the tragic poetry of this moment.  You'd laugh if you had the whole picture there afore ye. LEM    You two stay right'chere. SOUND    SLIGHT STEP LEM    [yelling to the swedes, slow] gun.  Now you, "mansker"-- AKE    [me?]  [mig?] LEM    Yeah - you go and unbind the good doctor and his wife. BJORN    [he cannot shoot all of us.] [han kan inte skjuta oss alla] AKE    [He can shoot one.  And it can be you, idiot.]  [Han kan skjuta en. Och det kan vara du, idiot.] LEM    Idiot.  Gotcha.  Idjit, Gun and damm. And maybe mansker.  Never thought I'd be learning no other lingo at my age.     FADE 7_NELS EZRA    You just waiting fer me?    FANSHAW    I thought it would be helpful if you could locate me easily. EZRA    I kin find anything round here.  I found yer Mr. Nels.  He can't come no closer than over yonder, though. FANSHAW    [calling] Nels? NELS    Who is this asking?  Sure, you're not the little boy. EZRA    [muttered] I'm an angel. FANSHAW    [up]  We need help with talking to your men.  Something has upset them and no one can speak to one another. NELS    Sure, it is a row about the woman, is it not? FANSHAW    A woman?  The doctor's wife? NELS    Nah!  The one we bought fair and square - paid her passage and her indebted for five years, and them rascals up and run off with her. FANSHAW    [resigned mutter]  All this over a woman.  And people wonder why a mustache is so comfortable. EZRA    You got a lovely set of whiskers there, you do. FANSHAW    Thank you.  It helps a great deal to never have to worry about grooming them. NELS    Sure, you bring us back the woman, there might be peace again. EZRA    Is she their mother? FANSHAW    I rather doubt it.  But women are good at... other things too. EZRA    You said a mouthful there, you did, sir.  FANSHAW    Please, just call me Fanshaw. EZRA    All right Mr. Fanshaw. FANSHAW    If you must. EZRA    Huh? FANSHAW    [UP] Nels, we need help speaking to your men.  Are you willing to help, if I give you my word that we are going to do our best to clear this up? NELS    [snort of derision]  Sure, a bucket of dead men cannot float. EZRA    That's just silly. FANSHAW    I think that rather lost something in the translation.      FADE 8_palaver SOUND    ANGRY NOISES FROM BOTH SIDES LEM    [very quiet] Talk to me, Fanshaw.  [up a bit] Ain't much we can do while no one parlays the lingo. DOC    I've always purposed to send away for a book of phrases, but Nels was always on hand. MRS. DOC    Perhaps we could draw some pictures? DOC    That's a capital idea!  Mrs. Doc    I have that slate we set aside ...[trails off with a slight sniffle.  NOTE - she has things for when they have children, but she's never had any] ... I'll fetch it, then, shall I? SOUND    SHE RUSHES OFF SCABBY BILL    Us got more lads backside.  Be reasonable and leave us go. LEM    I got two guns, and the doc's got at least two barrels of buck, before we need to be reasonable about nothin.  Stay shut. FANSHAW ENTERS FANSHAW    Lem, we have a problem. LEM    [laughs derisively] FANSHAW    Nels IS present at the loggers camp, but cannot approach this place.  I can get to within shouting distance, but it's going to be a bit of a slow process if I'm dashing back and forth for translations each time - not to mention any mispronunciations I might make along the way. SOUND    MRS. DOC RETURNS MRS. DOC    Here we go.  I even have some chalk.  Now.  [bravely] You seem to be the leader here-- DOC    Be careful, dear. MRS. DOC    He's no more a danger with you watching him, husband.  [to OLY] You... draw ... problem. OLY    [quizzical] Problem? [definite, "getting it"] Problem!  Ja! SOUND    DRAWING ON SLATE MRS. DOC    [satisfied] See? SCABBY BILL    Prob'ly just drawin somethin rude. SOUND    DRAWING FINISHES OLY    ["Finished"] Fardig.  [forceful, indicating - "woman"] Dam. SOUND    TAPS THE SLATE PIKEY    As I allus say. DOC    I'll ask you not to use such language-- LEM    No, I think he means dam, like a mare.  Look at what he's drawn. DOC    A woman?  Oh, that sort of dam! OLY    Ya.  Dam. FANSHAW    Damn!  Lem, Nels said something about this all beginning with a woman.  LEM    Damn. [gasp, up] Pardon me, ma'am.  [musing] We really need to get a mite closer to the loggin camp. END   EPISODE 4 FANSHAW    I've been thrown for a bit of a loop, or I would have mentioned the presence of a female at the heart of this matter-- LEM    [riled] Will someone just come to the point and tell me what's a-going on?  What is this about a woman? FANSHAW    Nels said that he and his had -ahem- brought her here, and those fellows apparently absconded with her. PIKEY    What woman?  Us dunno nowt about no woman. FITCH    Put wood in't clacks. [shut up] LEM    You certain sure they's speakin normal English?  Sounds downright wrong. DOC    You get used to it. FANSHAW    I assume they are come from one of the large mining areas back home in blighty.  Perhaps Lancashire or Yorkshire. LEM    York-sure? PIKEY    Aye!  Tykes, us'm. FITCH    Shh! LEM    That sounds like an ayup. OLY    [This has to get us something.  give us the woman] Detta är att få oss något framåt. ge oss damen. LEM    There's that dam again.  [up]  If you're telling me you got no woman-- FITCH    Got nowt.  LEM    Then let's all jest mosey down t'yer camp and have a rekky.  [thinks] See what we find. SCABBY BILL    Nae, sir, cannot.  LEM    Whay's that? SCABBY BILL    um.... Ty-foy. DOC    Typhoid?  Horsefeathers!  Sides, cain't catch typhoid from a looksee.  Get up. PIKEY    Shant. OLY    [growl]  Son till en hund! [Son of a dog!] FITCH    Gormless bastard - tha'll be right skittled! AKE    Låt mig slå honom! [Let me hit him!] SWEDES and TYKES [general angry grumbles] MRS. DOC    Wait!  Wait, all of you! SWEDES and TYKES [all shut up with gasps] MRS. DOC    You!  Sit!  [noise for emphasis as she gestures] SOUND    SHIFTING, THUMPING, TYKESIDE MRS. DOC    Now you!  Go on! SOUND    SHIFTING THUMPING, SWEDE-SIDE. FANSHAW    Clearly, some things are quite comprehensible, no matter what tongue you speak.  They do say women are a civilizing influence and are bound to tame the west. LEM    [slight snort of laughter] FANSHAW    This show of respect certainly gives me some hope regarding the treatment of this mystery woman, as well. LEM    [deep breath and sigh]  Now, fellers.  Let's take it one more time from the saddle blanket up. FADE SOUND    OUTSIDE, FIRE NEARBY SOUND    BAG SET DOWN, RUSTLE BEACHUM    [crotchety old hag] Wazzatcher got vere?  Ye call vem leeks?  TED    Best t'be had.  Yon t'were parky summer.  [best to be had.  It was a cold summer] BEACHUM    Hmm.  Right, leave em on block.  SOUND    RUNNING FEET COME IN JAMES    [breathless from off] Eyup! TED    Eyup?  Why'rt thee so sharp?  [hello?  What's wrong?] JAMES    Maister Finch an't lads! They'm gripped!  [Finch and the guys!  They've been grabbed] TED    Thas doolally, thee!  [you're crazy!] JAMES    Nay!  us were without't house; Fitch went in wi Scabby Bill, Pikey--  [no!  We were at the house, and they went in--] TED    [snort] All save thee?  Get on.  [everyone but you?  Nonsense!] JAMES    Shouts!  And vices.  Them logmen.  But else ain mair.  I'm thought as that's black tidins, me, so I have a squint, and them're all sat like bairns in skoil, with old scratch hisself stood about in catflap johnnies, wavin a pair of irons and fit to beat seven sorts of shite out of 'em.  [Shouts!  And voices!  Those loggers.  But that's not all.  I figured that sounded bad, so I peeked in, and they were all sitting like kids in school, with the devil standing over them in longjohns, waving a pair of guns and ready to beat the crap out of them] TED    [decisive, grim] Roust old Git.  Say tis knockin up time.  [go wake up Old git.  Tell him to get everyone moving.] FADE SOUND    EATING, SPOON THROWN DOWN LARS    [disgusted noise]  [this tastes terrible.] [Det här smakar hemskt.] ARN    [They better be getting her back.  You cook very badly.] [De bättre att få henne tillbaka. Du tillagar mycket dåligt.] LARS    [What do you expect?] [Vad förväntar du dig?] KJELL    [Quiet down!  It will not kill you.] [Tysta ner! Det kommer inte döda dig.]  SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN FREDEK    [out of breath] [Come quickly!  Something has happened!] [Kom snabbt! Någonting har hänt!] SWEDES    [Excited responses - please all record the following, I will mix] [my god!] Herregud! [What happened?!] Vad hände? [Where is Oly?] Var är Oly? [Let's get em!]  Låt oss få dem! SOUND    CLATTER OF DISHES, BENCHES SCRAPE     FADE LEM    Don't try and buffalo me, lads.  I know you all are speakin some kinda English, and YOU, SCABBY BILL    Me? LEM    Ayup.  I heerd you.  You talk purt near normal.  Normal fer Englanders leastways. FANSHAW    Oh, thank you VERY much. SCABBY BILL    [deep over the top thick accent] Nae, Maister.  [quoting a song] Wear 'as tha-bin since ah saw thee, On Il-kley Moor bar-ta--at? Wear 'as tha-bin since ah saw thee? Wear 'as tha-bin since ah saw thee? LEM    Cut that out.  This ain't no game, feller.  Lessen you're hankerin to see a mighty dustup, I truly suggest you take off the feathers and help me untie this knot y'all've wound. SCABBY BILL    [considering] Hmm. PIKEY    Wazzat?  Knots 'n feathers? SCABBY BILL    Nay mitherin, lad. [no worrying, lad.]  [up, clearer]  What thee rightly asking, there, "fellow"? DOC    While yer jawin, Mr. Roberts, Why don't you have a seat?  Never saw a man could sway like 'at, while his hands was set in granite. LEM    Sore as it is to own up to weakness, I think a chair would be right fine right about now. SOUND    CHAIR SCRAPE LEM    [sighs as he sits] EZRA    [distant] Mr. Fanshaw? FANSHAW    I am summoned.  You seem to be handling things. LEM    [quiet] uh-huh. MRS. DOC    If yer all set on hospitality, perhaps these gentlemen will let me set some water on to heat? PIKEY    Wha? SCABBY BILL     Lass says tea mayhap. PIKEY    Ta! MRS. DOC    [slowly, with sound effects, to the Swedes]  I heat water [glug glug] to drink [slurp] warm. OLY    [quizzical] ya? MRS. DOC    Well.  I'll just be in the kitchen, then.  SOUND    WALKS OUT LEM    Checkin' her biscuits. DOC    [chuckles]     FADE SOUND    OUTSIDE EZRA    Mr. Fanshaw!  There's folks coming up on you. FANSHAW    From where? EZRA    There! FANSHAW    The loggers? EZRA    And there! FANSHAW    Oh, blast.      FADE DOC    [whispered] Mr. Roberts, tea's all well and good, but fer really makin peace, I cain't fault whiskey.  LEM    [undertone] Save it fer after.  Leave 'em sober til they agree. [up]  You, what's yer name, anyway? SCABBY BILL    Bill.  LEM    No dancin now - tell me about this woman. SCABBY BILL    [sigh]  T'owd lass.  Nae laikin'.  [clears his throat]   She weren't happy wit' them tree trunks.  Nowt speak proper, now t'one has gone.  LEM    What's her name? SCABBY BILL    Mrs. Beamish. LEM    Mrs.?  Doc? DOC    I ain't never seen her. SCABBY BILL    Widder.  LEM    Ayeah.  So Missus Beamish is from England, like you fellers? SCABBY BILL    Nae, London, her'm. SOUND    FANSHAW ENTERS FANSHAW    [breathless] Lem!  More are on their way, both sides. LEM    But she talks like you. SCABBY BILL    [snort of laughter] Nay!  She've an accent.  FANSHAW    [surprised laugh] LEM    But you-- [take a breath to speak, but is intrupted] SCABBY BILL    But mair like than nowt like.  Can cal [rhymes with pal] six of seven, as may be.  Talk. FANSHAW    [warning] Lem, I know it's a bad time-- LEM    So she favors y'all, cuz she kin talk to you? SCABBY BILL    Aye. OLY    [Did they say what they did?] LEM    [slow] I'm asking.  [muttred]  Dunno what's'a gonna happen when I haveta explain. FANSHAW    Lem, I'll come back and let you know when they are close enough to be a danger. LEM    That's right fine.      FADE SOUND    Moving through underbrush KJELL    Det är huset!  [There is the house!] LARS    Finns det någon död?  [Are there any dead?] FREDEK    Jag såg ingen. [I saw none.] LARS    Oly?  Var såg du honom? [Oly?  Where did you see him?] FREDEK    Jag ser ljus! I fönstret! [I see light!  In the window!] KJELL    Tyst! [Be quiet.]     FADE TED    Thas t'house? JAMES    Eh, by gum.  Us gang thru t'winder. [we went in through the window] OLD GIT    Winder wooded oop.  [window is covered in wood] JAMES    [disparagin] Winder at back.   TED    See owt o't'lads?  [see anything of the guys?] JAMES    Within? OLD GIT    Tha reckon, young-en?  TED    [musing] Tis goin' dahn't nick, appen as not.  [this is all going to hell, like]     FADE MUTTERING DISCUSSIONS AMONG BOTH GROUPS MRS. DOC    Drink.  It's more broth. LEM    Thankee kindly, ma'am.  All this jawin is plumb wearin me thin. DOC    I think you've takin the edge off, anyways.  Ain't no one looking fit to kill, no more. LEM    At's a wonder.  [sips, ahhh.] DOC    But I worry about you, feller.  Soon as can, you're for bed, and I'll need ta check them wounds. LEM    I cain't wish fer more.  [up, to Mrs.] Thankee ma'am.  Maybe a touch more? MRS. DOC    Of course. SOUND    BUSTLES OFF LEM    [quiet] Spect this's a bad time to say I'm a-hearin voices outside again? DOC    What the blazes! LEM    shh.  I think both have reinforcements comin.  We needs to shove some peaceable down all their throats - and right quick, before a range war starts out yonder. SCABBY BILL    [clears throat]  We are ready to cry off.  And make some talk.  Nowt gi' up, but sort this - hosses fer yows.  [not giving up, but want to negotiate - horses for ewes] LEM    Sounds like a good start.  You? OLY    Ya?  [No fighting.  Talk.  Somehow.] DOC    Does that sounds peaceble enough? LEM    I'm fair hopeful. [up] Bill?  Go tell yer men to rein it in.  [correcting] uh, step back.  They's comin from out there. SCABBY BILL    Flippin 'eck!  Ah'm barn.  [flippin heck! I'm going] SOUND    a couple of steps, DOOR OPENS SCABBY BILL    [off, fading]  Lads!  LEM    Oly, your turn, old son.  [slowly, with gestures] Go stop your'n. OLY    Ya.  SOUND    FEET, DOOR LEM    [clearly weakening] Doc, go and yell fer that Bill feller - tell him to bring Mrs. Beamish along here.  See what you can do anyway. DOC    Let me take them guns, first, yer gone all pale and fit to drop 'em LEM    I'll set em down myself. SOUND    METAL ON WOOD LEM    [quiet] Don't fret.  Th'ain't even loaded. DOC    Well, I'll be! LEM    I doubt me I got the strength left to hold guns and bullets.  Now catch 'em up and get that woman here. END    

Even in the middle of a blizzard, Lem and Fanshaw find someone in need of help - outlaws have taken over a Quaker hostel, holding the proprietress' children hostage.   Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts / Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw -  J. Hoverson Don Phelps - Reynaud LeBoeuf Randall Cullom - J.D. Lloyd Garrett Cullom - Shawn Connor Burden Fayette - Beverly Poole Will Fayette - Glen Hallstrom Fayette Children - Al Aseoche, Krystal Baker, Molly Tollefson, Reynaud LeBoeuf, Julie Hoverson Music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:  Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock "What kind of a place is it? Why it's the middle of a blizzard, can't you tell?" ********************************************************* HOSTEL TERRITORY Cast: Olivia Lemuel Roberts, the Kid Clarence Fanshaw, the sidekkick THE FAMILY Burden Fayette, the woman Faith, Hope, Fortitude, Courage, and Pious, the children Will Fayette, the dead husband Valor, the dog THE OUTLAWS Don Phelps, the leader Randall Cullom, the rabid one Garret Collum, the dying one OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's the only building for miles in a blizzard, can't you tell?  Good thing it's a hostelry. 1  INCOMING SOUND    BLIZZARD SOUND    HORSES AND MAN WADE THROUGH SNOW FANSHAW    [not cold] Not much further.  LEMUEL    [very cold] You been saying that fer the last hour. FANSHAW    And you've kept walking.  If you look up, you can see the light from the window. LEMUEL    And get a snootful of frozen sleet?  No thank you very much.  Is there a barn? FANSHAW    Yes.  It's a bit closer, why? LEMUEL    These here horses'll drop afore I do.  Need to get 'em inside. VALOR    [distant howl] FANSHAW    I'll go and see if it's unlocked, then, shall I? 2_INSIDE MUSIC AMBIANCE    INSIDE, BLIZZARD STILL RAGES OUTSIDE SOUND    DOOR CLOSES, WOMAN'S FOOTSTEPS DON    Well? BURDEN    [quiet] He ain't doing too well, but I think he'll pull through. RANDALL    You think?  BURDEN    [sharp] My husband was the one with some doctoring.  I am doin what I can. DON    You best keep on.  [threat] Them children o'yours depend on you. BURDEN    [almost breaking] I know. SOUND     BABY CRIES, NEARBY 3_BARN MUSIC AMBIANCE    INSIDE THE BARN - CLOSER TO THE STORM SOUND    HORSES BLOW, RUBBING SOUNDS LEMUEL    [to horses, and self] It ain't much, but leastways it's above freezin in here. FANSHAW    [coming on] I've taken the liberty of looking around, Lemuel.  It is a hostel, so you're very lucky on that count.  I haven't been inside, but a peek through the windows shows they're sitting down to dinner even as we speak. LEMUEL    [almost drooling]  Dinner.  Mebbe even coffee. VALOR    [distant but approaching - insistent barking] FANSHAW    Perhaps, but-- LEMUEL    How could anyone leave a good dog out on a night like this? FANSHAW    You're certain it's not a wolf or a coyotay? LEMUEL    You mean a kai-yote?  You could try to speak normal from time to time, y'know.  Nah.  Neither o'them barks like that.  That's a hound, right enough. FANSHAW    Your guns? LEMUEL    What about em? FANSHAW    The hostel sign shows they're quakers.  They do not allow guns in the house. LEMUEL    Idjits.  Fine.  I'll cache em here somewheres. SOUND    RUSTLING VALOR    [coming on, barking and panting, doesn't seem at all cold] FANSHAW    Oh, I say. LEMUEL    That explains a lot.  You look after 'em.  I got t'get inside and get around some grub.  FANSHAW    Right-ho.  Here boy.  There's a good dog. VALOR    [enjoys the petting, then barks a couple of times] 4  DINNER MUSIC SOUND    TWO TIN PLATES AND FORKS BURDEN    I haven't spoken grace yet! DON    Grace yourself, woman.  We're hungry. BURDEN    For what we are about to receive, let the lord make us thankful.  Amen ALL CHILDREN    Amen. SOUND    POUNDING ON THE DOOR BURDEN    [gasps, almost a scream] CHILDREN    [also react] RANDELL    Shut up!  Tell em to go 'way. BURDEN    We are a stage stop - we have to take folks. DON    Not tonight. Go on. SOUND    CHAIR, WOMAN'S FOOTSTEPS, KNOCK ON DOOR AGAIN BURDEN    But if I send them away, they might could make it to Corvel in the valley, and tell folks--. RANDALL    We can't have no one-- BURDEN    Even on a night like this, the sheriff would-- DON    Let 'em in.  [threat] We can deal with 'em, if'n we have to. SOUND    BAR REMOVED FROM DOOR, DOOR OPENS, LEM'S STEPS COME IN BURDEN    [as if trying to tell him something] Sorry about the wait, stranger - things are a mite rough here right now. DON    [saccharine] Never mind, dearest-- BURDEN    [gasp] DON    Bring the gentleman on in. LEMUEL    I hope you don' mind - I already bunked my horses in the stables. PIOUS    What he say? RANDALL    [hissed]  You'll keep shut if you know what's good fer you. SOUND    WOMAN'S BOOTS RUN TO TABLE BURDEN    Shh.  Shh, Pious, honey.  SOUND    CHAIR SCRAPE, MAN TAKES A COUPLE OF STEPS DON    Children.  [forced chuckle] You got to take a firm hand with them.  I'm Don Phelps, the proprietor here, and this here's my wife, [hint hint] right dear? BURDEN    [quiet] Yes. RANDALL    But-- DON    And this here's her brother, Randall - he helps us around the place.  [beat] We don't see many travelers in weather like this. LEMUEL    [playing a bit dumb] Reckon not.  Well, I'm right lucky you're here, and, ma'am, I am pert near faintin with rapture at the smell o'your cookin - can you make some room at that table, with all them young'uns? BURDEN    Always room.  And they's always food. LEMUEL    I should oughta tell you - I had to leave a parcel of my goods out in the woods, since the horses was flaggin.  I kin go back fer it once the sky clears a bit, but all my money's in there. RANDALL    [too quick] How much? DON    Ssh.  I kin see right well this feller's good fer the cost of a room and grub, even if the snow carries on fer a mite longer. GARRETT    [off, muffled groan] RANDALL    Garry!  What's agoin on with him--? DON    Hesh now, Randall.  Woman, you go and look in on [emphasized] your other ailing brother.  I'll serve this good feller. SOUND    AFTER A SLIGHT HESITATION, FOOTSTEPS LEAVE, DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS DON    Well sir, we've got some good stew here, a load of turnips, and bread and butter. FANSHAW    Lem, there is something very much not right here. LEMUEL     Reckon I'll take whatever you got to spare. FANSHAW    I know you won't be able to reply to anything I say, but-- DON    You tuck in, and I spect that tomorrow, once it clears some, my brother-in-law here and I would be happy to help you go and get your ... goods.  How far out was you when you had to unburden yourself? FANSHAW    Goods? LEMUEL    Coupla hours back - so might coulda been a few miles, depending on how much headway we made.  I kin find it again, though I doubt me anyone else could - I hid it real good.  [chuckles] FANSHAW    Ah.  I see you don't need me to tell you these fellows are up to no good.  And carrying weapons - no quakers, these. LEMUEL    What's wrong with your friend in the back? RANDALL    None o' your goddamned-- DON    Randall!  Not in front of the children!  He slid on some ice and broke his leg real bad.  FANSHAW    Funny - I took a look back there, and I never saw a broken leg that required a bloody bandage to the chest before. LEMUEL    Hmm.  That's a real bad one.  VALOR    [Whines] FANSHAW    Shh.  I know how frustrating it can be to smell food and not be able to have any.  Believe me, boy. DON    What do you do, stranger? LEMUEL    [swallows hard, then]  I - well, see, I'm a‑‑ FANSHAW    Courier? LEMUEL    --a courier.  Carrying important packages fer -- gold mining concerns.  VALOR    [whining, tugging] FANSHAW    What is it?  You can't-- VALOR    [almost growling as he tugs] RANDALL    Gold mining?  FANSHAW    I swear that man's eyes just lit up like the footlights at the Tivoli. VALOR    [GROWLING, getting intense] FANSHAW    Damn.  Lem, the dog's not going to let up until I see what he wants to show me.  [going off] I shall return shortly. LEMUEL    Bet them kids are a good lot of help running a hostel and all. DON    Not so much as you'd think.  I'm only their step-daddy, you see, so they ain't taken to me much yet. LEMUEL    Ahh.  At's a hard row to hoe. SOUND    DOOR OPENS, WOMAN COMES BACK, APPROACHES SLOWLY BURDEN    [whispering] I finally managed to stop the bleedin. LEMUEL    Bleedin?  [low whistle]  That's a bad break and no mistake. DON    Yes.  Yes 'tis.  [to Burden] Well, that's good, then.  Sit and eat. BURDEN    I need to get the children to bed. RANDALL    No way, you-- DON    Shh.  Don't you have no hospitality in you, woman?  Them kids can see to themselves while you stay here and keep us all comp'ny. BURDEN    Come here, y'all.  A kiss goodnight then you run along. FAITH    Mama-- BURDEN    Shh.  You look after the little ones, Faith. SOUND    KISS ON THE FOREHEAD HOPE    [in tears, but quiet] I don't wanna--! BURDEN    You have to, Hope, sweetie. SOUND    KISS ON THE FOREHEAD RANDALL    Oh, get on with it.  Are they like this every damn night? DON    [forced chuckle]  He's just arrived fer a visit.  These cowhands - not used to family living. LEMUEL    I'm purty much the same. FORTITUDE    Mama. SOUND    KISS ON THE FOREHEAD BURDEN    Don't you forget your prayers just cause we have guests in the house, Fortitude. FORTITUDE    Yes, mama. RANDALL    Well, I gots to take myself outside for a bit.  Y'all'll be all right without me? BURDEN    The outhouse is-- RANDALL    This kind of weather, I ain't troublin to go that far. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS, DOOR, BLIZZARD UP, DOOR SHUTS COURAGE    [whimper] BURDEN    Have courage, Courage. SOUND    KISS ON THE FOREHEAD DON    Them names these children have. LEMUEL    Nothing wrong with good sound virtues.  SOUND    KISS ON THE FOREHEAD BURDEN    Now, Courage, you take Pious by the hand and all ya'll run along t' bed.  Hope, take baby Humility-- DON    Baby can stay.  BURDEN     [gasps]  DON    They're too young to look after him.  Sides, he's sleeping. BURDEN     You... y'all go on up, now. SOUND    PATTER OF FOOTSTEPS GOING UPSTAIRS BURDEN    I'll be listenin fer your prayers!  [breaking slightly] I - I love y'all! VALOR    [distant mournful howl] 5 OUT BACK MUSIC SOUND    BLIZZARD VALOR    [Howling mournfully] FANSHAW    Bloody dog.  If you weren't a good solid dark color, I would have lost you long ago.  So what is it, boy?  Hmm?  [horrified and stunned] Oh.  My word. 6_PLAIN FARE MUSIC AMBIANCE    INSIDE, BLIZZARD IN BACKGROUND LEMUEL    Well, ma'am, I must say that's the best meal I've aten in quite some time.  BURDEN    [pleased] Plain fare.  We weren't expectin no one. LEMUEL    Plain fare's the best.  Hits the spot. DON    Randall's been gone a damn long time.  Where could he'a got to? BURDEN    You want I should go an' check? DON    [sharp]  No!  [chuckles insincerely, softens] I mean, no, dear.  Why donch you come and sit by me?  SOUND    HAND PATS CHAIR, RELUCTANT FOOTSTEPS, CHAIR SQUEAK DON    If Randall cain't find his own way back from relievin hisself, well, mebbe he deserves to have it freeze and snap off. LEMUEL    I can go and look?  I should cast an eye over my horses, make sure they're warmin up. DON    Um...  Certainly, certainly.  That sounds just fine. LEMUEL    Be right back.  [goodbye] Ma'am. SOUND    BOOTS, DOOR OPENS 7 BRAVING THE STORM SOUND    BLIZZARD UP SOUND    DOOR CLOSES, BOOTS IN SNOW FANSHAW    Lemuel, something terrible is happening here.  You must come see-- SOUND    DOOR OPENS DON    [shouting very loud]  You bring Randall on back here the minute you find him, eh, stranger? LEMUEL    A'course. SOUND    DOOR SHUTS LEMUEL    [low] No chance of sneaking up on that kai-yote while he's rifling my saddlebags now, is there? FANSHAW    Oh, yes, I forgot to mention-- LEMUEL    That's not what you wanted me to--? FANSHAW    He didn't find your guns, but he's still in the barn.  Come along, this way. 8 BACK INSIDE MUSIC AMBIANCE    INSIDE SOUND    DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS RANDALL    Colder than a witches-- DON    Where the hell were you?  That stranger went a'looking fer you - didn't you see him? RANDALL    Nope.  Mebbe he got lost. DON    Well, that won't get us his goods, will it?  We can search from now to kingdom come and-- RANDALL    Keep yer shirt on.  [leering]  At least fer now, eh, wifey? BURDEN    [sharp intake of breath] RANDALL    [grumbling] And you told the fellow I'us her brother just so's you could get a leg up-- DON    You should go find that feller.  We cain't let him get to thinkin there's anythin wrong.  SOUND    FOOTSTEPS, DOOR UNLATCHES DON    Oh, and - was there anything int'resting in his saddlebags? RANDALL    [grunt of annoyance]  Not much.  Mostly what you'd expect. DON    Mostly? RANDALL    Well, there was this metal jar might be worth a few bucks.  But it wouldn't open.  And was right heavy.  [shrugs] Figured if'n we decide it's worth it, we can lift it later with the rest of his kit. 9 _ THE BODIES MUSIC FANSHAW    Just a bit farther. LEMUEL    [snort]  Like I haven't heered that before. VALOR    [bark, panting] FANSHAW    Watch where you step. LEMUEL    Blood? FANSHAW    Well, snow certainly doesn't usually come in that color. SOUND    BRUSHING AWAY SNOW LEMUEL    It's fresh - no more'n a couple hours old. FANSHAW    The - source - is just ahead of you. LEMUEL    Hmm?  Ah, hell.  Who's he? FANSHAW    I suspect we have here this poor fellow's master.  And just to your right-- LEMUEL    Yep.  The man'us kilt outright - shot through the head like that don't leave you moving much. FANSHAW    But - the blood trail? LEMUEL    That's your amigo there.  Looks like even gut shot, he was tryin to go and get hep.  FANSHAW    Did he freeze? LEMUEL    I hope so - I heer it hurts some less than a gunshot.  But froze or bled out, he probably passed right about when we first heered him. FANSHAW    Poor fellow. LEMUEL    I swear'n he's the first animal spirit I've ever come upon--  Master around anywhere's? FANSHAW    I'll take a look. DON     [off, calling] Stranger?  You lost? LEMUEL    Damn.  See if you can pick up anythin.  I'll circle round so's they cain't see I was out this way. FANSHAW    Righty-ho.  Be careful, Lem.  LEMUEL    Like a cowhand in his best boots. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS OFF THROUGH SNOW A1  LEM RETURNS MUSIC AMB    INSIDE.  BURDEN    [fretting] I should check on the children. RANDALL    They're fine.  Why'n't you give me a big kiss, li'l lady, while we have a chance to be on our lonesome. BURDEN    I will not. RANDALL    [snort] Won't kiss me?  You'll do more'n that 'fore we hit the trail again, and having all them children, I'll bet you know jest what I mean... BURDEN    I am a righteous woman!  You can't-- RANDALL    Righteous or not, the parts all work the same. SOUND    SLIGHT STRUGGLE SOUND    DOOR OPENS DON    What'n hell you up to, Randall?  We agreed-- RANDALL    You agreed.  I ain't had much choice. DON    If that feller walks in and sees this - RANDALL    I say we tie em both up, take what we want, and forget all this folderol. DON    Have you looked in that feller's eyes?  He ain't the kind o' man to give in, even tied up and beaten.  We gotta pull the wool over his eyes, but good.  Shh! SOUND    BOOTS UP ONTO PORCH,  STOMP OFF SNOW.  DOOR OPENS SOUND    BURDEN PULLS FREE OF RANDALL, DASHES TO LEM BURDEN    [trying badly to sound normal] Let me hep you with yer coat.  We thought you mighta got lost.  [whispered] be careful. LEMUEL    Nah, Jest took the long road back, by way of the convenience - seemed logical, since I was already out in it.  [whispered] I know. BURDEN    [normal tone, startled] You--? LEMUEL    Hold on, let me shake the snow out the door.  [whispered] I won't put you or your brood in danger if'n I can hep it. BURDEN    Thank you kindly. RANDALL    [teasing] I do believe he's trying to make time with your wife, Don. DON    Oh shut up, ya pillock.  Can we getcha anythin' else stranger? GARRETT    [coming on, yawning] Oh, boy do I feel a heap better.  How about some grub? LEMUEL    [muttered]  Damn. A2  FANSHAW AND VALOR MUSIC AMB    OUTSIDE FANSHAW    Hello?  Are you here?  Hmm.  Hey boy!  Find your master!  Can you do that? VALOR    [panting, one bark, then a slurp] FANSHAW    Good boy! A3  GARRETT MUSIC AMB    INSIDE GARRETT    Randall?  What's a'goin on? RANDALL    I spect we oughtta get you up to yer room fer the night, eh stranger? GARRETT    Randell!  Dammit!  SOUND    DOOR, FOOTSTEPS BURDEN    Pardon me, but we can't really go on calling you stranger, can we?  You're our guest now.  LEMUEL    [thinks for a moment] Lemuel Roberts. RANDELL    The Deadeye Kid? SOUND    SLAP AND DRAW LEMUEL    [quizzical] Who? GARRETT    The Deadeye Kid!  Ain't that just-- DON    Stand up and show me yer hands. SOUND    CREAK OF CHAIR, COAT BEING LIFTED DON    You never heered of the Deadeye Kid? LEMUEL    He an outlaw? GARRETT    He's a gunslinger. RANDELL    [disbelieving noise] He's just one of the meanest hombres out there.  Kilt over 30 men they say - all showdowns. LEMUEL    [chuckles] I look like that kind of feller? DON    A bit, around the eyes. GARRETT    Funny - he din't actually say he weren't the Kid.  Ask him again. DON    Well, at least you ain't strapped now.  That's fine.  Randall, you gotta jug on you? BURDEN    [gasps, then smothers it] SOUND    POP OF CORK, LIQUID POURS RANDELL    Here's hoping the snow runs away fast as a redcoat regiment. GARRETT    What's wrong?  Why won't you ask him? LEMUEL    Sounds good. SOUND    DRINKING A3  KITCHEN MUSIC AMB    INSIDE, BUT NOT THE SAME ROOM VALOR    [bark, bark] FANSHAW     [coming on]  In here?  Aha!  Sir? WILL    Who the hell are you?  Another one of my wife's men? FANSHAW    What? WILL    The way she's carrying on out there - Them fellers are just about having their way with her-- FANSHAW    "Them fellers" killed you, sir, and your good lady is in there trying to keep them from doing the same to your children. WILL    O'course you would say that - fancy pants like you, she'd be kissing your feet. FANSHAW    [long breath out]  I am going to ask you one time, sir - do you have a weapon here somewhere that might help us? WILL     Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you?  Take a man's own shotgun, poke his wife, and dance on his grave, eh?  Well, Bessie is well hidden.  You won't never find her - let the bitch and her bastard whelps die. SOUND    HARD PUNCH WILL    Hey! FANSHAW     So sorry, usually I would warn a gentleman before striking him. WILL    You bastard!  SOUND    COUPLE OF JABS FANSHAW    But since you're not a gentleman... SOUND    PUNCH WILL    [going down] Uhh! SOUND    DOOR OPENS, QUICK FOOTSTEPS IN FANSHAW    Ma'am.  Ahh. [frustrated noise] SOUND    SLOWLY POURING WATER TO COVER THE SOUND OF CRYING BURDEN    [crying] FANSHAW    Oh, Madam.  I wish I could reassure you.  Lemuel is very good at what he does.  If there weren't the two of them, he'd have sorted this out long ago.  Don't cry.  If there is anything I can do - anything within my power, I -- [sigh, then annoyed]  Of course there isn't-- SOUND    FROM OFF [GARRET SCREAMING IN FRUSTRATION] FANSHAW    Or is there? A4  SHUT UP SOUND    HER FOOTSTEPS TO DOOR, DOOR OPENS LEMUEL    [fading in after door opens]  --spent a few weeks in California - nothing much there, cept'n round the train tracks... GARRETT    [screaming]  What's going on?  FANSHAW    What's--?  [catching himself]  Bloody hell. GARRETT    [screaming]  This isn't funny!  Randall!  SOUND    SLAP FANSHAW    Calm down!  GARRETT    Ow! FANSHAW    Come with me, now. GARRETT    Who in blazes are you? FANSHAW    [thinks for a moment, then]  I'm the angel Gabriel.  Who the devil are you?  GARRETT    Gabriel?  But I ain't -- Oh, lord am I dead?  Shouldn't angels not be taking the devil's name in vain? FANSHAW    [arch and superior] Who do you think we should swear by?  Our lord? GARRETT    [cowed] You got yerself a point.  Sorry.  What do I do now? FANSHAW    Firstly, you be quiet, and let people think. LEMUEL    [sigh of relief] DON    That's some good stuff, ain't it? LEMUEL    Let's just say, I have a special fondness for spirits. DON    I'll drink to that. RANDALL    You reckon I should look in on Garrett? LEMUEL    Let the lady do that.  It's her job, making sure he [slight emphasis] stays alive, right? BURDEN    [distant] Yes.. DON    What's wrong with you? BURDEN    [sniff, almost in tears] It's been a trying day. DON    Women.  You get on now.  Make sure Garret's comftable. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS, DOOR FANSHAW    Lem.  I expect you've noticed Garrett's dead.  I have him calmed down, but that may not last.  Do you think she'll know what to do?   LEMUEL    [muttered] She ain't screamed yet. RANDALL    What's that?  LEMUEL    Your friend must be doin all right.  Or your wife would have called for help. RANDALL    My sister.  His wife? LEMUEL    Sorry, it's late.  And that's some pow'rful strong stuff you got. FANSHAW    There's a shotgun somewhere in the house.  If I find it, can you let that poor woman know?  Her husband is - well, he - I had to "slug" him, I believe is the word. LEMUEL    Worst thing about late nights is the rambling on some folks do.  DON    What? LEMUEL    Just thinking you're good company, you two, since you understand the value of silence. FANSHAW    Very well.  [sigh]  I shall go and look for the shotgun. A5  DOGS CHOICE MUSIC VALOR    [barks] FANSHAW    Some Quakers.  Alcohol and guns.  Tsk. Tsk.  They're not even trying.  All right boy, show me where the gun is? WILL    He's my damn dog.  No way he's gonna betray me. FANSHAW    What's his name, then? WILL    Valor.  Like it matters, since he won't answer to you. FANSHAW    Valor?  Hmm.  Here boy, here Valor. VALOR    [Panting, one sharp bark.] WILL    Don't listen to him, ya damn mutt. SOUND    SCRABBLING OF CLAWS ON THE FLOOR FANSHAW    The poor little fellow looks confused.  WILL     Get over here, or I'll whup you good, and you know I will! FANSHAW    Valor.  Help me help your mistress, boy. VALOR    [two sharp barks] SOUND    DOG RUNS TO FANSHAW VALOR    [panting] FANSHAW    Good boy.  Yes, you are a good boy, aren't you? A6  FINAL FIGHT MUSIC SOUND    BABY FUSSES DON    Can't you keep that thing quiet? BURDEN    It's noisy in here.  He can't sleep. LEMUEL    If you need to absent yourself, ma'am.  I'm sure we menfolk kin do without you. RANDALL    You don't know no such thing.  Woman, sit! FANSHAW    Lem, your glass - tap it once for yes, twice for no.  Understand?   SOUND    One tap FANSHAW    Valor - the dog - showed me where the master of the house kept his shotgun.  It's behind some turnip sacks on a shelf in the cellar. SOUND    ONE TAP FANSHAW    You think you can get at it somehow? SOUND    TWO TAPS LEMUEL    Ma'am? FANSHAW    What? BURDEN    Yes, Mr. Roberts? LEMUEL    Do you have some more of this fine whiskey? BURDEN    Of course not! RANDALL    [a bit drunk] Pious mealy mouth.  We had t'bring our own, o'course. LEMUEL    Come now, ma'am.  I bet you have something a bit more powerful - say, down in the root cellar?  My momma allus used to hide hers behind some turnip sacks on a shelf. BURDEN    How do you know I have a cellar? LEMUEL    Let's jest say the spirits are calling to me. RANDALL    You don't know how true that just may be! DON    Shut it.  I don't know that we need anything more to drink.  LEMUEL    Ah, well.  Yer prob'ly wise there.  One more drink and I'll be toes up next to that fire snoring my life away, anyway. DON    Really?  [sly] See what you can find, woman. SOUND    FEET CROSS ROOM, DOOR SOUND    BABY FUSSES RANDALL    I swear'n  I'm gonna smother that critter. DON    That's no way to speak of your nephew, Randall.  [apologetic]  He's real close to toes up hisself, stranger. LEMUEL    I know that.  Mm.  One other hazard of liquor.  I think I got to find my way outside again. DON    Nonsense.  Much too cold now.  LEMUEL    When you gotta, you-- SOUND    GUN SLAPPED DOWN ON TABLE RANDALL    Man said no, Stranger. LEMUEL    a'right. GARRETT    [coming in] Gabriel?  I been saying every prayer I know, and I'm plumb bored.  Ain't no heavenly choir coming fer me, yet. FANSHAW    [sigh]  I shall check on that.  Wait in that room for me-- WILL    [coming on]  Dammit, you told that harlot where my gun is!  And who the hell are you? FANSHAW    Mr. innkeeper, this is one of the bastards who shot you and your dog.  WILL    What?  You done that? GARRETT    That ain't very angelic, Gabriel.  Besides, it was Don what actually shot him.  Oof! SOUND    PUNCH WILL    I gotta feeling I can't whale the tar out of him, though. SOUND     FIGHT CONTINUES FANSHAW    [whispered]  Garrett - perhaps I am really the devil and am damning you to be tormented  by those you wronged.  How do you like them apples? GARRETT    [grunts] LEMUEL    [laughs, turns it into a cough] DON    Where is that woman? RANDALL    [almost gone] Yeah? LEMUEL    She said she was going to the cellar. FANSHAW    I'll check. LEMUEL    She'll prob'ly be just another minute. RANDALL    I cain't wait another-- SOUND    CHAIR SQUEAKS, HE STUMBLES A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN FALLS TO THE FLOOR SOUND    BABY WAILS DON    Oh, god dammit. FANSHAW    Tip the table, Lem. SOUND    CREAK, SLIDE OF BASKET SOUND    BABY CRY SLIDES ALONG LEMUEL    [muttered] Thank you, I did think of that m'self.  Check the kitchen. DON    What you doing? SOUND    BABY GURGLES LEMUEL    My fault, I guess I leaned on it too hard. DON    Damn table nearly took my head off! LEMUEL    Leastways, I caught the baby. SOUND    BASKET SET ON FLOOR SOUND    BABY FUSSES SOUND    GUN DRAWN DON    Why don't you get up real slow? LEMUEL    Dammit.  SOUND    CHAIR SQUEAK SOUND    DOOR CREAKS OPEN REAL QUIET FANSHAW    She has the gun, Lem, but I don't know if she'll use it. LEMUEL    I don't wanna hear that. DON    Who you talking to?  You that drunk? LEMUEL    Look, you kill me, then what happens?  Think about it - you got one man wounded and another drowned in corn likker.  Which one you plan to carry when you make a run fer it? DON    Who says we're going anywhere?  We dump your sorry hide outside and stay here, snug as a bug 'til the snow lets up. LEMUEL    Or til you hurt one of this woman's children. DON    Spare me.  She ain't never gonna do nothing.  Quakers don't believe in violence.  I could butcher each one of the little brats and serve 'em to her in a stew, and she'd have to take it.  [ridicule] for god. BURDEN    Stranger! DON    Huh? SOUND    METAL SLIDING ON WOOD, THE SHOTGUN SKIDS TOWARD HIM DON    You damn bitch! SOUND    GUN SHOT BURDEN    [scream] SOUND    DOOR SLAMS SOUND    SHOTGUN COCKS DON    Now you-- SOUND    SHOTGUN BLAST DON    Uh! SOUND    BODY DROP RANDALL    [bleary] Whazzat? SOUND      SHOTGUN COCKS AGAIN SOUND    DOOR OPENS BURDEN    No! LEMUEL    What? BURDEN    That man is no threat.  Get his guns, and I'll tie him up. SOUND    LEM TAKES RANDALL'S GUNS, PATS HIM DOWN LEMUEL    But he - he threatened you.  And your kids. BURDEN    I will keep him tied up until the sheriff can get to us.  That one may have been god's will, but I will not have any more killing in my home. FANSHAW    She has a great deal of conviction. SOUND    ROPES WHIPPING AROUND TO TIE UP RANDALL LEMUEL    You do realize you will be alone? BURDEN    Nonsense.  I have seven children to help me look after him. SOUND    [baby wails]  LEMUEL    Ma'am, let me do this for you then.  Let me take the body - bodies, if I'm right about the man in the back room - outside.  I'll put them in the shed, along with your husband. BURDEN    He is dead? LEMUEL    I saw his body.  And the dog.  That's what put me on my guard. BURDEN    Give me my baby and I'll leave you to your... work.  A7  DEPARTING MUSIC AMB    OUTSIDE, COLD, BUT NOT BLOWING SOUND    HORSES BLOW, STAMP BURDEN    Stay to the left side of the road, it's a bit higher, and not so icy. LEMUEL    Thank you, ma'am.  I hope things get better for you. BURDEN    Please don't think I cannot appreciate your help.  Though I cain't abide violence, I -[breaking] I thank ye kindly for saving my children. LEMUEL    Not to worry, ma'am.  As a man who lived by the gun, I'm... well, I'm tryin'. BURDEN    We will pray for you. CHILDREN    [assenting] SOUND    HORSES LEAVE SOUND    SLIGHTLY OFF, DOOR SHUTS FANSHAW    I say, Lemuel, how does a pious woman like that end up married to a beast like - well, you must have heard him?  LEMUEL    Heard enough.  Out here, most times it's better to have some man in the house than no man - no matter what a cuss he is. FANSHAW    Have you ever considered settling down?  A hostel like that would be quite a nice little retirement. LEMUEL    I plumb cain't see myself putting down roots.  You? RANDALL    [muffled, tied face down over a horse]  Mm? FANSHAW     I haven't any roots to put down. LEMUEL    If you did? FANSHAW    Well...  At one point, I fancied an academic seat of some sort.  Teaching, you know. RANDALL    [muffled]  If I did what? FANSHAW    Pity.  I rather hoped he would remain unconscious until we reached the sheriff. LEMUEL    If wishes were horses... FANSHAW    That kai-yote would be riding upright, instead of prone on a pack horse? LEMUEL    [chuckles] MUSIC END

The party finally ends up together in the same room at the reunion dinner, and the memorial dedication ceremony is crashed by some unexpected guests. FOLLOW US ON TWITTER!! @QuestLaidPlans Subscribe to our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/questlaidplans Game Master: Meghan Kelleher @meghankelleher3  Cast: Jamie Rose Hathaway @jamiedotrose Jesse B. Koehler @jb_koehler Maya S. Ming @mayascape Neda Marie Valcheva @NedaMarie Phil Arevalo @PhilAArevalo (Special thanks to Meghan's nieces for additional sound effect voiceovers in this episode!) Creative Consultant: Nicky Nenkov @nickynenkov Character Artist: Pamella Kokalova @pamellkaaa All music by Meghan Kelleher, including “Reunion (Previously On Ver.)” by Meghan Kelleher “Reunion (Quest Laid Plans Theme Song)” by Meghan Kelleher. “Escort Me To Mass (Very Slowly)” by Meghan Kelleher. “The Last Ten Years” by Meghan Kelleher “Flesh and Bone” by Meghan Kelleher

Midguard Episode 6: The Devil's Boots Don't Creak Exposing the devil's tactics, the sufficiency of Scripture, and how Christian students can survive college. Dillon's Website Faith Community Church Faith Church Seminole Podcast The Good Faith Podcast

The Demon Beelzebud returns to pester sisters Rena and Matilda. [sequel to Force Majeure]  Cast List Beelzebud - Anthony D.P. Mann (Horror Etc. Podcast) Rena - Julie Hoverson Matilda - Kate Waterous Jesse - Big Anklevitch (Dunesteef Audio Magazine) Infernique - Julia Carter Willial - Mark Olson Benedict - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Closky - Florida Possum Fat guy - Dave Fontenot Manager - Scott Spaulding Cameo appearance from Super Haunted Stories! Music by  Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Cover Design:  Julie Hoverson Cover art includes:  clear crystal / red crystal "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a modern family home, can't you tell?" ********************************************** Caveat Emptor Cast: Beelzebud Rena Matilda Jesse Infernique Willial Benedict Mrs. Closky Fat guy Manager OLIVIA     Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a family home, can't you tell?  MUSIC SOUND     ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF, IS SLAPPED DOWN JESSE    [waking up]  maaaargh.  SOUND    PATTING BED JESSE    Huh?  [thick]  Babe? [clears throat] Babe?  [considering noise] Hmmm. SOUND    BLANKET FLAPS JESSE    What the hell time...?  What?  [yelling petulantly] Cassie?  Who reset the alarm? SOUND    STUMBLES INTO OTHER ROOM JESSE    Cassie?  Where's the laptop?  Shit!  We've been robbed!  SOUND    RUSHING AROUND SOUND    DOORBELL JESSE    Where's the phone?  Gotta call police. SOUND    DOORBELL JESSE    Who the hell? SOUND    DOOR OPENS ON CHAIN JESSE    This is not a good time. BUD    It's the only time you got, pal.  JESSE    I just got robbed. BUD    No, you just got dumped.  Read the note on the fridge. JESSE    What? SOUND    DOOR SLAMS, OUTSIDE WITH BUD BUD    [WHISTLES SOMETHING] SOUND    DOOR JERKS OPEN AGAIN JESSE    [freaking out] Are you a friend of Cassie's?  Do you know where she went? BUD    Not my area.  I just dropped by to give you a bit of a head's up. JESSE    Uh-what? BUD    I know you're feeling pretty low.  Wife walked out, took the kid, and you don't know why-- JESSE    We have a good life! BUD    Yeah, it's got nothing to do with you moping around the house all day-- JESSE    I got laid off. BUD    Leaving all the housework for the little woman, so that when she gets home from her full day-- JESSE    I have to spend my time looking for work-- BUD    A lot of work in World of Warcraft, is there?  Or are you considering a career in porn? JESSE    None of your business! Besides...they're the only things that make me less depressed-- BUD    Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all.  So today is your lucky day - kinda. JESSE    Kinda? BUD    [dragged out, savoring] Ye-a-aah.  MUSIC MATILDA    It's $200.  That's like three tanks of gas. RENA    [disgusted sigh]  I hate this work. MATILDA    One hour plus drive time.  Just think of it as gathering intel. RENA    I'll think of it as whine tasting. SOUND    PICKS UP KEYS, DOOR OPENS MATILDA    Have fun! MUSIC SOUND    DOORBELL, DOOR OPENS ON CHAIN RENA    You called? JESSE    Oh, yeah, this guy - he gave me your card. RENA    And? JESSE    And? RENA    I didn't come all this way to stand on your porch, unpaid. MATILDA    [mic] Confirmed. JESSE    Oh, ah.  Come in. SOUND    UNCHAINS, OPENS DOOR JESSE    Yeah, um, it's kind of a mess.  You want a beer or something? RENA    57 minutes. JESSE    What? RENA    Of your hour.  We confirmed your paypal transaction. JESSE      Oh, right.  My wife – she left me. RENA    When? JESSE    Oh, just this morning. RENA    [disbelieving] Hmph. JESSE    She's not much of a housekeeper. RENA    I can smell that. JESSE    That doesn't mean I don't want her back! SOUND    POUNDING ON THE DOOR JESSE    [angry sigh] Just a sec. RENA    Take your time. MATILDA    [mic] Cut the poor guy some slack. SOUND    OPENS DOOR MRS. CLOSKY    How dare you! JESSE    How dare I, what? MRS. CLOSKY    Bring a hooker into your house while your wife's away? MATILDA    [mic] [laughing hysterically] RENA    [low] Not funny. MATILDA    [mic] I told you the black leather was wrong for the neighborhood! RENA    Tough is tough. JESSE    She's not-- MRS. CLOSKY    I know just what kind of woman has the bleached blonde hair and the motorcycle. JESSE    But Cassie-- MRS. CLOSKY    That poor woman gave you two beautiful children, so any weight she's gained, well that's just as much your fault, isn't it? MATILDA    [mic] [fresh peals of laughter] RENA    I'm gonna turn you off. JESSE    But Mrs. Closky! MRS. CLOSKY    You're just like my sonofabitch husband, and I just wish I had had someone like me to speak up on my behalf back when he-- SOUND    DOOR SHUTS, cutting her off JESSE    [sigh] Shit. RENA    Sum up quick.  I'm already bored. JESSE    My wife left me this morning.  I want to find out where she went. RENA    Did you call her parents? JESSE    Her mother won't answer. RENA    Did you call her friends? JESSE    They're all on her side. RENA    Did you check her emails? JESSE    I didn't think of that. RENA    What have you done? JESSE    I ... called you. RENA    You understand that first $200 is only for this hour, the one we're currently wasting.  JESSE    Not for the entire job? RENA    Not unless I find her in the next 47 minutes. JESSE    [hopeful] Do you think you can? RENA    What's her email address? MUSIC SOUND    OUTSIDE, WALKING, LEATHER CREAKING MATILDA    [mic] She already emailed back.  Says he's been a shit since he got laid off.  Says she told him she was going to do this, weeks ago, and he didn't even pay attention. RENA    Hmph.  Makes me want to run out and find one of my own. MATILDA    [mic] [laughs] WILLY    Uh, hello? RENA    Not in a million years. WILLY    I was just looking for a - ah!  There's the address. SOUND    HE HUSTLES OFF RENA    Must be a friend of his-- MRS. CLOSKY    [off, calling]  You! RENA    Oh hell. MRS. CLOSKY    You, woman! MATILDA    [mic] Uh-oh.  RENA    [sigh] What? MRS. CLOSKY    How much do you charge? MATILDA    [mic] Tell her you don't do lemon parties. RENA    I don't-- [starts over] I am a bounty hunter. MRS. CLOSKY    Oh!  Well, that's a disappointment. RENA    That I'm not a prostitute? MRS. CLOSKY    I have a nephew.  Unmarried.  He could use a little cheering up.  And his birthday's coming! MATILDA    [mic] [teasing] We are a bit short on cash. RENA    I - I have to go.  Now. SOUND    MOTORCYCLE REVS MUSIC AMB    MATILDA'S DEN SOUND    DOOR SHUTS (OFF) SOUND    RENA ENTERS MATILDA    [calling] So, how was the nephew? RENA    [muffled] Funny. SOUND    KNOCK ON DOOR RENA    There wasn't any - oh. MATILDA    What? RENA    Who pops up out of nowhere on a regular basis? SOUND    OPENS DOOR BUD    Hiya doll!  [louder] Dolls! RENA    [to M] You okay with having him in? MATILDA    Yeah, I guess. BUD    Make a guy feel wanted, why dontcha? MATILDA    We forgot to vacuum! RENA    We're antisocial. BUD    And here I thought it was just me. RENA    You forgot to vacuum too? MATILDA    Get over here, where I can see you! SOUND    WALKING RENA    Matilda.  Bud.  SOUND    SHE FLOPS INTO CHAIR MATILDA    You do look like Steve Buscemi. BUD    I'm gonna take that as a compliment.  You don't got no more places to sit? RENA    One butt, one chair.  Part of the recluse mystique.  MATILDA    There's a stool around somewhere... BUD    eh.  I can stand.  Don't plan to be here that long.  See, I gotta problem. MATILDA    Another one? RENA    We get $200 for the first hour. BUD    Here. SOUND    SLAPS DOWN MONEY BUD    You know, I never woulda mistaken you for a prostitute. RENA    Good to know. BUD    Dominatrix, maybe. RENA    [losing it] It's motorcycle gear!  Not some kind of leather teddy and thigh high boots-- MATILDA    [taunting] With stiletto heels? RENA    Not helping!  And those things'll break your ankles.  [breath, recomposed]  Clock starts now.  What's your problem? BUD    You girls are a hoot.  You should take it on the road. MATILDA    No thanks. RENA    Tick...tock. BUD    Fine.  [sigh]  You'd think the life of a demon like me would be a piece of cake. MATILDA    From what you've said, you seem to have it all down to a system. BUD    Yeah, well any well oiled machine can go Pfft - if you stick in the wrong cog. RENA    What have you been sticking in your cogs? BUD    [snicker] It's Infernique.  MATILDA    Sounds like a perfume. BUD    The demon chick you fixed me up with. RENA    Nuh-uh.  No fixing.  Just tricked her into giving in and going out with you.  Once.  Whatever happened after - not my fault. MATILDA    Well, maybe just a little. BUD    She's convinced she gotta class me up. RENA    Class?  You? BUD    You don't need to make it sounds like such a joke, babe. MATILDA    I wondered about the suit.  Seemed awfully-- RENA    Tasteful? MATILDA    Restrained.  I mean, the descriptions - you have such ... flair!  [undertone] help me out here. RENA    No. BUD    Yeah, yeah, so I like the classics.  This sharkskin still got its own kind of flash, but she's killing me with the pastels.  [confidential]  You know they come from the pit of despair? MATILDA    Pastels? BUD    Yeah.  Not a pretty story.  [up a bit] Anyway, I'm not so good at saying "no" to her, and she's been trying to get me to trade up.  Better department.  Better class of victim. MATILDA    What will the comedians do without you? BUD    Yeah, that's what I say, but there's always someone willing to take most any place, but my place is one of those ain't no one gonna fight over, see? RENA    Nope. BUD    This guy, Jesse - I gave him your card this morning - ring a bell? RENA    The douche who didn't realize his wife was about to walk? BUD    Yeah, well - that's what Infernique wants me for my new clientele. MATILDA    The recently abandoned?  The thoughtless husbands? RENA    The douches?  Plenty of them.  You can have 'em. BUD    Yeah, but she's got me sneaking around behind the back of Willy, the guy whose job it is now, undermining his numbers.  Trying to make him look bad.  Getting the douches to not sign. MATILDA    All's fair in love and hell? BUD    I dunno - I ain't liking this. RENA    Talking people out of selling their souls?  How abominable. BUD    Nah, it's the backstabbing.  Willy's - well not "good people" maybe, but he ain't a bad guy.  Kind of a plodder.  No inspiration.  But he's got a sweet berth and he's ...competent.  MATILDA    You'll really miss the comedians, won't you? BUD    [sighing admission] Yeah. RENA    Easy.  Tell her you don't want to change. BUD    Why don't you just point me at a good doctor, then, for when she rips me a new asshole. RENA    Guess you're screwed. MATILDA    Waitaminute.  Look.  the way I see it, you have two choices here.  You can go ahead and be perfect, toe the line, do what she wants and be with her until she finds someone more ambitious-- RENA    Won't be hard. MATILDA    Shush.  Or you find a way to slack off and subtly let her know that you aren't going to turn into a silk purse any time soon, and let her dump you. RENA    Talk to that guy from this morning.  I'm sure he can give you some pointers. MATILDA    The big question is, is she worth it? BUD    You know... You said a mouthful right there.  I think some deep pondering is in order.  Thanx! RENA    You still have a few minutes left. BUD    Ehh - Keep it!  All us classy types tip! MUSIC RENA    [snoring] SOUND    PHONE RINGS, ANSWERED RENA    [groggy] Hello?  [a bit better] Hello? SOUND    STRANGE BUZZ ON THE LINE RENA    Shit. SOUND    HANGS UP SOUND    GRABBING CLOTHES, GUN SOUND    EASES OPEN DOOR RENA    [deliberately calms her breathing to listen] SOUND    MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY FROM MATILDA'S ROOM RENA    [whispered] Shit. SOUND    QUICK DASH SHUTS MAT's DOOR, MUSIC'S MUFFLED RENA    [calming her breathing again] SOUND    CREAK, ACROSS ROOM RENA    [catch in her breathing, then careful] SOUND    ANOTHER CREAK, ACROSS THE ROOM SOUND    RENA CAREFULLY TAKES THE REMOTE SOUND    CLICK, TV COMES ON, ACROSS ROOM BENEDICT    [gasp] SOUND    QUICK SCUFFLE OF MOVEMENT RENA    [now behind him] You're gonna want to drop that. SOUND    CLICK OF HER GUN CoCKED BENEDICT    You don't know what you're doing. SOUND    CLICK - TV OFF RENA    I'm the one with the gun.  And the remote.  Whatever you got in your hand, drop it. SOUND    SOMETHING CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR. SOUND    MAT'S DOOR FLUNG OPEN MATILDA    Hold it right there! RENA    [up] Got 'im.  [to him] Hands behind your back. BENEDICT    [annoyed] Really? RENA    Really.  MATILDA    Sorry I took so long.  Couldn't find the night vision goggles. BENEDICT    [sigh] Fine. SOUND    HANDCUFFS ON BENEDICT    IS this really necessary? RENA    You're the one who broke in. MATILDA    I'll get the lights. RENA    Goggles off. MATILDA    I know! SOUND    GOGGLES OFF, LIGHT SWITCH MATILDA    Ooh!  He's smoking hot!  Can we keep him? BENEDICT    Let me explain. RENA    Not much chance of that.  Mat, 9-1-1, okay? MATILDA    [playing it up]  New where did I leave the phone? BENEDICT    [blurted out] Where are you keeping the demon? RENA    [surprised snort] MATILDA    [giggles]  Wow, dramatic much? RENA    There's a doghouse out back… MATILDA    [fresh peal of laughter] BENEDICT    This is no joke, lady.  Harboring a demonic fugitive is very serious. RENA    [growling now] “A” – harboring?  Not a chance.  “B” - fugitive?  BENEDICT    Beelzebud, lower echelon romalpa class signatory demon.  He stands accused of contractual misconduct. RENA    Let me guess – that's bad. BENEDICT    It's a termination-class penalty. MATILDA    Oh, shit! RENA    Tell us more. BENEDICT    No. MATILDA    Oh, come on.  You hunt demons.  Do you make a good living at that? BENEDICT    [bursts out laughing] RENA    Guess that's a no. BENEDICT    It's a calling, not a job.  RENA    So... you're a demon too. BENEDICT    I'm not telling you anything. RENA    You broke into our house.  Convince us that we shouldn't call the real-life police. BENEDICT    I wasn't going to do anything to you - just put this crystal somewhere-- RENA    This thing? BENEDICT    Yeah.  It's a--[shuts up]   MATILDA    Might as well finish the sentence.  [beat]  How about strip guesses? BENEDICT    What? RENA    If she guesses and she's wrong, you lose a piece of clothing. BENEDICT    Are you insane? RENA    We don't get a lot of hot male visitors. MATILDA    And you woke us up in the middle of the damn night.  Is it a tracking device? BENEDICT    No. MATILDA    Camo coat. BENEDICT    Can't take it off over the handcuffs. MATILDA    Oh, bummer.  Pants, then. BENEDICT    [panicking a little] It's a simple listening device - like a mystic "bug"  Ok? RENA    Guess he wins.  Sorry Mat. MUSIC AMB    COMEDY CLUB [HEARD FROM BACKSTAGE] FAT GUY    [punchline to a joke] Boom-boom, boom-boom, boom-boom. SOUND    SCATTERED LAUGHTER, NOT MUCH FAT GUY    and... Good night! SOUND    RUNS IN MANAGER    That could have been better. FAT GUY    [grumpy] Open mike, read it and weep. BUD    Psst. FAT GUY    What do you want? BUD    I like what you did up there. FAT GUY    [knowing] I know who you are. BUD    You... do? FAT GUY    Yeah, I was warned there's a guy going around with bogus contracts.  Screw off. BUD    I don't know nothing from bogus. I'm as legit as they come-- FAT GUY    [squealing]  You want me to call the cops?  Jeez! SOUND    STOMPS OFF BUD    [muttering, furious] Bogus contracts, eh?  SOUND    HE GOES OUT INTO ALLEY.  DOOR SHUTS BUD    [furious - cussing in latin] Mater tua caligas gerit! RENA    You kiss someone's mother with that mouth? BUD    [affable again] You know latin, doll? RENA    [shrug] I know cussing. BUD    [chuckles] RENA    Matilda wanted me to warn you.  Someone's on your tail. SOUND    MOTORCYCLE REVS, OFF RENA    And... He probably followed me here. BUD    [not real disturbed] Yikes. RENA    I thought I left you in handcuffs. BENEDICT    Your sister took pity on me. MATILDA    [mic] He's not such a bad guy. BUD    All right occifier.  I'm not as think as you drunk I am. RENA    Don't joke. BENEDICT    You might step out of the way, ma'am. RENA    [to Bud] You need some help? BUD    Why? RENA    I don't know.  I just thought I'd ask. BUD    I'm touched.  Oddly.  [beat] Nope.  It ain't gonna be pleasant, but ain't nothing to be done about that.  See you soon, doll. SOUND    COUPLE OF FOOTSTEPS, WEIRD WHOOSHING NOISE MATILDA    [mic] Well... I'll miss him. RENA    Yeah.  [sigh, beat]  Donuts? SOUND    SHE WALKS BACK TO MOTORCYCLE SOUND    PHONE RINGS RENA    Hmm?  SOUND    BEEP RENA    [wondering] Who the hell? SOUND    TURNS ON RENA    What? JESSE    [phone] Are you doing anything at all? MATILDA    [mic] Who's that? RENA    Found her. Job done. JESSE    [phone] She's not back! RENA    Yeah.  Sucks.  She's still pissed off. MATILDA    [mic] Oh, him.  What does he expect, that you'll ride in with his wife over your shoulder, kicking and screaming? RENA    I'm not draggin her home by her hair. JESSE    [phone] Then what are you doing? RENA    I told her to email you a list of demands.  Have you checked your email? JESSE    [phone] I can't!  The bitch cut off my internet! RENA    [sotto voce] Boo-hoo. [up] Hold on.  I'm transferring him to you, Matilda.  I am not playing phone relay for— SOUND    HUGE SPOOOKY WHOOOSHY SOUND SOUND    BODY FLUNG INTO WALL RENA    Ungh! SOUND    PHONE SKITTERS AWAY SOUND    THINGS GO WEIRD AND HOLLOW MATILDA    [mic] [fading into odd tunnel]  Rena?  Rena!!!!   Rena!!!! MUSIC AMB    MATILDA'S LAIR MATILDA    [panicking] Rena?  [deep shaky breath]  Don't freak out.  Don't freak out.  Maybe it's the cell tower.  Maybe it's--  Maybe its demons.  Oh shit. INFERNIQUE    Shit is right! MATILDA    [almost a scream] Who the fuck are you? INFERNIQUE    Where is my BUD?  [spooky] What have you done with him? MATILDA    [trying hard to stay calm, but kind of losing]  Bud?  I don't know!  We-we didn't do anything!  [almost a scream] Where's my sister? INFERNIQUE    That's what I want to know!  When I tried to triangulate on her, I got NOTHING.  MATILDA    Triangulate? INFERNIQUE    Anyone who deals with us has a sort of trace on them ...evermore.  Until they pass beyond.  Is she dead? MATILDA    [whine]   Nooo? INFERNIQUE    If she isn't then she's passed out of this realm.  She never said she could DO that! MATILDA    I'm just going to faint now.  I hope you don't mind... RENA    [on speaker, weak]  Mat? MATILDA    [gasp]  INFERNIQUE    What? MATILDA    [thinking hard] I-I can't find a good place to fall down.  INFERNIQUE    She's on your headset? MATILDA    She was, just for a moment. INFERNIQUE    [satisfied]  hah.  There.  Yes.  She must be in the outer fringe.  Guess we won't be seeing her again. MATILDA    [sobbing gasp] MUSIC AMB    ECHOEY DUNGEON BUD    Babe? RENA    [waking] What?  Oh, crap.  Am I dead?  Cuz having to listen to you forever is kind of like my vision of hell. BUD    Yeah, she's okay. RENA    [weak] Matilda? BUD    Back home where she belongs. RENA    [sigh of relief]  Not hell, then. SOUND    CHAINS RENA    What's with the— SOUND    CHAINS RENA    Shit. BUD    Yeah, that.  I guess I-uh kinda underestimated Willy-boy. RENA    Is that that demon hunter? BUD    [snort of laughter]  Oh, him.  Nah.  That was all part of Willy's plan to get me off his case. RENA    oh.  The demon you were undermining. BUD    Bingo!  I love a bright dame. RENA    And now he's got us both chained up in a dungeon?  Great. WILLY    [demonic sounding]  Just what I was thinking!  Muhahahahahahaha [evil laugh] RENA    [undertone, to herself] Be vewwy vewwy quiet.  [up] Wow.  This is a swell party.  WILLY    You're only here because I'm curious what would make a mortal... collaborate with such a filthy maggot as Beelzebud. RENA    You make it sound a lot more fun than it is. BUD    Hey, hey!  Willy, old boy-- WILLY    [demon] You will call me Willial [will-LIE-ul]!  [back normal]  Don't think I don't know what you've been up to, behind my back, Beelzebud! BUD    ahhh.  A few short circuits.  It's all in fun.  Plus you got me back, but good - setting a popper on me. RENA    [half a snort] Popper? BUD     The hunter - [offhand] you know, you led him to me. RENA    Yeah.  Sorry bout that. WILLY    I'm surprised to see you still up and around, Bud. BUD    Believe it or not, I'm clean.  RENA    It's not like he just up and decided he wanted your crappy job, Willy. BUD    [quiet] I really prefer my own crappy job. WILLY    You should have kept your hands off my beeswax, then! RENA    Oy vay.  [quiet, to Bud]  Can this guy actually do anything?  To me, I mean? BUD    [evasive] Not legitimately.  RENA    [up] Then maybe you'll back the fuck out of my face, elmer fudd, and let me go. BUD    On the other hand he's already more or less kidmapped you, so who knows what else he's willing to do. RENA    Shit. BUD    Yeah, like anything a stupid mortal chick says is going to piss Willial off more than I already have.  Hah! WILLY    [suspicious] You're up to something. RENA    Nah, just mouthing off.  [whisper]  Keep him talking. BUD    So, Willy - Ooh!  [snide] You kidnapped a human, what's the next step?  Custodial interference?  Stealing candy from a baby? WILLY    I-I'm not sure.  I mean, I haven't decided yet what all to do with you.  For now, I'll let you stew. SOUND    DOOR SLAMS RENA    [sigh]  Nice try. BUD    [not quite lying] Try? RENA    Yeah, whatever. BUD    [beat]  If we had cards, I play a mean Canasta. RENA    Takes two decks. SOUND    TAPPING FINGERS, WAITING SOUND    DISTANT COMMOTION BUD    Finally.  Beez.  Thought they'd never get here. RENA    [surprised] You were expecting someone? BUD    Waitaminute, you were?  Oh, boy - this could be a serious case of overkill.... SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN RENA    You ain't just whistling dixie. BENEDICT    [breathing hard from exertion]  Ok, this is not what I was expecting. RENA    You got something for chains? BUD    Uh, we might wanna wait-- RENA    [suspicious] Why? INFERNIQUE    [distant demony scream]  Beelzebud! BUD    Yeah.  That. RENA    Demon hunter - you, guy. BENDICT    Benedict.  RENA    Right, like Shakespeare.  I'm bad with names.  BENDICT    Let me get those chains-- RENA    Quick!  What's the penalty for illegal imprisonment of a human? INFERNIQUE    [a little closer]  Where is he? BUD    It ain't much. He didn't hurt you or nothing. RENA    Well? BENEDICT    Something like a hundred years of hemorrhoids.  I don't actually sentence-- RENA    Wanna stick him with something worse? BUD    [speculative] I like where this is going. BENEDICT    I ...don't. MUSIC INFERNIQUE    [roaring up]  What did you do with him? WILLY    You are in my domain, succubus! INFERNIQUE    Insults?  How dare you! BUD    [off, pathetic]  Ohhhhhh.... INFERNIQUE    Out of my way! WILLY    [surprised] What the hell? BUD    [off, weak]  Is that you, baby snakes? SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN WILLY    [bewildred] But I didn't-- INFERNIQUE    [incensed] Chained? BUD    Oh, babe.  I'm so glad to see you.  Willy there whupped my fanny, but good. WILLY    I-I-- RENA    I think the popper is concussed. INFERNIQUE    [amazed] Popper? WILLY    [an octave higher] Popper? BUD    You're gonna get us out of these, aren't you sweetie? RENA    Wake up, dude! SOUND    GENTLE SLAPPING TO TRY AND ROUSE HIM INFERNIQUE    [speculative] You... chained a popper? WILLY    I-I-  He-- they-- INFERNIQUE    Just nod your head, handsome. RENA    [quiet] I'm hunting wabbits. BENEDICT    [smothered snort of laughter] BUD    Come on babe, leave Willy alone.  Get me out of here. INFERNIQUE    That's Willial, you little weasel.  [laughs contemptuously]  I think it's about time to trade up. WILLY    I- uh- I- uh-- INFERNIQUE    [very hot]  There's nothing sexier than a tongue-tied demon. RENA    [trying to sound upset but not getting it] After all Bud has done for you! BUD    [grovelling]  You can't just leave us here!  INFERNIQUE    Willy will let you go when he's good and ready, won't you? WILLY    [frantic] Uh, Beelzebud? BUD    Fine!  Keep your job!  Take my woman!  You have everything!  [big mock sob] SOUND    DOOR SLAMS SHUT MUSIC SOUND    MATILDA'S DEN SOUND    WHOOSH OF ARRIVAL BENEDICT    I honestly don't know which of you was worse, back there. RENA    Emoting is not in my skill set. BUD    Tell me about it.  MATILDA    You're back! RENA    Yeah, it's all okay. MATILDA    I thought-- RENA    [strangely gentle] You know I always promised if I die I'd come right back and haunt you. MATILDA    [sob of relief] BENEDICT    Can we--? RENA    Fuck off, will you guys? BUD    I got this.  SOUND    WHOOSH MATILDA    I was [hiccupy sob] I was so-- RENA    I'm here.  You're not alone.  Maybe I should get that Benedict guy back - he owes us a pair of pants. MATILDA    [laughs and cries] SOUND    PHONE RINGS RENA    Voice mail? MATILDA    [much calmer] Voice mail.  Yeah. JESSE    [on voice mail]  What did you do to my wife?  All of a sudden she's laying down the law and saying she won't put up with me unless I toe the line!  Man!  She's even talking about us writing up some kind of contract!  Are you even listening? SOUND    BEEP END  

So many players, so many games. Are you to root for someone, or to play yourself? 

Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 0′00″ An Infant's Dream by Frits Wentink & Erik Madigan Heck on Safe Passage (Dekmantel) 1′00″ Glas by Mattheis on Het Jaar Rond (nousklaer) 4′10″ Opus by Shin Sasakubo on Sam Gendel & Shin Sasakubo (CARNET RECORDS) 7′00″ Arne's Theme by Keith Secola on Portals (Don Giovanni Records) 9′15″ Sol by David Shea on The Art of Memory (Room40) 12′20″ Ilu Neiu Kiigel by Kiri Uu on Creak-whoosh (Estonian, Ingrian and Votian song re-imagined in Australia by Olev Muska and Mihkel Tartu) (Stroom) 14′05″ L'oiseau by Lucía Fumero on L'oiseau - Single (Modern Obscure Music) 17′25″ The Way We Descend by Paule Perrier on The Way We Descend (arch) 20′18″ Human by UMAN on Chaleur Humaine (UMAN) 25′10″ Blue Bonnet of the Seven Stars by aspidistrafly on A Little Fable (KITCHEN. LABEL) 26′05″ November, 1st in Detroit by Slow Attack Ensemble on Soundscapes for the Emotional-Type Listener (Mystic Roses) 29′40″ Gebroken by Ranie Ribeiro on Het Jaar Rond (nousklaer) 32′05″ Keruu by Cucina Povera on Dalmarnock Tapes (Mappa Editions) 37′10″ Falling in the Waves (feat. James K) by Parris on Soaked in Indigo Moonlight (Can You Feel The Sun) 40′00″ A Choir of Angels by Frits Wentink & Erik Madigan Heck on Safe Passage (Dekmantel) 45′15″ Hey Who Really Cares (feat. Mr. Joy) by Blunt Chunks on Hey Who Really Cares (feat. Mr. Joy) - Single (Blunt Chunks) 48′30″ Seek Refuge (feat. Tenderlonious, Latarnik & Vox Humana) by Jaubi on Nafs at Peace (feat. Latarnik & Tenderlonious) (Jaubi & Astigmatic Records) 51′35″ Blueblack Tomb (Prod. by Andi Toma) by Sissi Rada on Nanodiamond (Kryptox) 56′25″ Oedipa Maas y los Àtomos by Bassæ on Kiosque of Arrows 2 (Bureau B) 59′40″ Manantial by Azulina on La eternidad (Pedro Canale) 63′00″ On the Mountain Realm by Jonny Nash & Ana Stamp on There Up, Behind the Moon (Melody As Truth) 67′00″ Sit Around the Fire by Jon Hopkins, Ram Dass & East Forest on Music for Psychedelic Therapy (Domino Recording Co Ltd) 72′00″ Liminal by Priori on Your Own Power (Naff under exclusive license to Courage Holdings Inc.) 77′00″ Ever New (Kelsey Lu's Transportation) by Beverly Glenn-Copeland on Keyboard Fantasies Reimagined (Transgressive Records Ltd) 86′45″ Loop Against Anxiety by Rhode & Brown on Good Things Come To Those Who Fade (Slam City Jams) 90′10″ Koishiteiruchocho (feat. Michel Jun Collet) by Nick Foglia on Paradisia Vol. ∞ (Gang of Ducks) 94′30″ Yob (Xmas Dub) by Kornél Kovács on Studio Barnhus Xmas 2021 compilation (Studio Barnhus) 96′54″ A Joy Forever by ELWD on A Joy Forever - Single (ELWD) 99′20″ Satriale's by FOANS on Gateway (100% silk) 102′25″ Sammen by En Anden on Giv Besked (oen records) 105′00″ Lotus Bass by Aroma Pitch on Interlife (Public Possession) 109′40″ Liv by Lattice on Body of Water (air miles) 116′15″ Merry Mrsms by Shakarchi & Stranéus on Studio Barnhus Xmas 2021 compilation (Studio Barnhus) Check out the full archives on the website.

Robin and Adam bring you Pastatime #18! Pastatime episodes are dedicated to reading the wonderful short fiction from internet communities like Creepypasta, The SCP Foundation, the No Sleep Subreddit, and even our wonderful Spooky Friend community. This week, Robin and Adam read four Creepypastas titled "The Reason I Don't Do Cold Readings Anymore", "The River Country Film", "Creak", and an untitled story written by Spooky Friend Amber. Stay a while and listen, share, subscribe, and review!

Tune in as Katie and Nusrah talk about horror and suspense reads set in haunted houses just in time for Halloween. Follow the podcast via RSS, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. To get even more mystery/thriller recs and news, sign up for our Unusual Suspects newsletter! This content contains affiliate links. When you buy through these links, we may earn an affiliate commission. Books Discussed The Good House by Tananarive Due The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson Help For the Haunted by John Searles New Releases Five Strangers by E.V. Adamson Grave Reservations by Cherie Priest Otherwise, you can:  Find me on Twitter @JavedNusrah Find Katie on Twitter @kt_librarylady And we will talk to you all next time! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

[warning - mature themes and explicit violence] A surreal Q&A session reveals the workings of a victim's mind. Cast List Marnie - Julie Hoverson Doc - Julie Hoverson Jerry - Brandon O'Brien Momma - Risa Torres Harold - Mr. Synyster Deputy Fred - Joel Harvey Little Girl - Krystal Baker Little Boy - Marhya Post Grampa - Rick Lewis Music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson  Cover Photos:  Alan Bridges (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com) "What kind of a place is it? Don't you know where you are?" *********************************************************** Where are You Now? This is a weird ass episode. I wrote this very deliberately in a stream of consciousness style, probably inspired by a weird dream, but I don't remember specifically. I did write the entire script in roughly one sitting, then cast and recorded it immediately - I wanted to see if I could make an entire episode in a single week, which I basically did. The most challenging effect in this was throwing the chiffoniere down the stairs. I actually have a sort of sequel - more in tone than using the same character(s), obviously - in mind, and may do it someday.  A big part of the idea for this was to make the vast bulk of the dialog mine, so I didn't have to get too much out of other people, thus making it a quicker recording turnaround. SPOILER ALERT!!! I'm going to explain, sort of, what this episode is and what it means, at the end of the transcript, below.  A lot of info will be there, since most of my memories of making this are tied up in why I wrote what I wrote. *********************************************************** WHERE ARE YOU NOW? Cast: Olivia Doc (F/40+), german, sounds like shrink Marnie (F/20), hysterical young woman Harold (M/30), mush mouthed freak Fred (M/30), a crooked deputy Old Man (M/senile) Creepy Little Girl (F/10) Creepy Little Boy (M/10) Momma (F/30ish), Mrs. Cleaver - with cleaver Jerry (M/20), Marnie's dead boyfriend. OLIVIA  Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Don't you know where you are?  MUSIC   SCENE 1. SOUND     A SLOW CHORD, WHICH STAYS UNTIL NOTED DOC    Where are you now? MARNIE    [startled awake] What? DOC    Can you hear my voice, Marnie? MARNIE    Yes. DOC    Where are you now? MARNIE    [slightly panicked] I - I don't know. DOC    Tell me what you see. MARNIE    I see a room.  DOC    Are there people in the room? MARNIE    [fear] Yes! DOC    You are safe, Marnie.  Calm down.  Now tell me what you see. MARNIE    [calm, almost robotic]  I see five people sitting at the table.  DOC    Are you sitting with them? MARNIE    No, I'm in the corner.  DOC    Do they know you're there? MARNIE    [ominous] Oh, yes. DOC    Tell me what they look like. MARNIE    There's a very old man, a small boy, a girl who looks a bit older than the boy, a police officer, and a very large man with a bag over his head. DOC    Is there food on the table? MARNIE    No.  It's not here yet. DOC    Good.  Tell me one thing about the little girl. MARNIE    Her eyes can suck your soul. DOC    Good.  And the old man? MARNIE    He has a scar on his leg that aches when it rains. DOC    Good.  Has the food arrived yet? MARNIE    The one with the bag is named Harold. DOC    Please answer only the questions I ask you, Marnie. MARNIE    [frightened, small]  I'm sorry. DOC    I forgive you.  MARNIE    I love you. DOC    That was not the question. MARNIE    [trying to remember] Um. Um.  The food!  No.  Still no food. DOC    Good.  Are you comfortable? MARNIE    [lying, almost a whisper] Yessss. DOC    Very good.  Tell me about where you are sitting. MARNIE    I'm in the corner. DOC    Are you in a chair?  Look down. MARNIE    It's a chair with wheels, and straps.  DOC    Straps?  Are you strapped in? MARNIE    [breathing hard, getting louder and louder] Yes - my hands are - hands are - I can move them, but the leather cuffs - like movies about crazy people! DOC    Are you crazy? MARNIE    [almost a wail] No! DOC    Can you control yourself, Marnie? MARNIE    [a couple of gasping breaths, then quickly] Yes! DOC    I can help you. MARNIE    [wail] No! No! [gasp, then tight but controlled] No.  I'm all right. DOC    For now. MARNIE    I feel... peachy. DOC    [beat] Your hands are restrained.  What else? MARNIE    There's a strap around my chest, and I can feel one around my legs. DOC    Do the people talk? MARNIE    Yes. Some.  They're waiting for someone. DOC    Someone?  Or the food? MARNIE    [almost hysterical] I don't know! DOC    What do they say?  Tell me exactly. MARNIE    I'll try-- DOC    [still even and calm] Trying isn't going to cut it, missy. MARNIE    [noisy gulp]  DOC    I know you can do it. MARNIE    [sob]  The man with the bag doesn't talk at all. DOC    Harold? MARNIE    Yes, Harold. DOC    And? MARNIE    The policeman says-- MUSIC     FADES OUT, NO OTHER TRANSITION   SCENE 2. FRED    You shoulda seen her!  Jumped clean over the fence.  BOY    I can do that. OLD MAN    Pancakes. FRED    You can't 'cause - 'cause you're a little butterball. BOY    I'm magic. GIRL    [pronouncing] You are a shoe. SOUND    CLATTER OF SPOON DROPPED ON PLATE OLD MAN    Pancakes!  Pan! Cakes! FRED    [panicky, trying to calm him]  Shh!  Shh!  Pancakes, yes.  It's all coming.  Shh.  Clouds.  [dropping to a whisper] Little white fluffy clouds. OLD MAN    [drawn out whisper]  Pancakesssss. Pancakes. SOUND    MOMENT OF SILENCE, THEN   SCENE 3. MUSIC    COMES IN WITH A CHORD DOC    [sigh] You know what happens when you lie to me. MARNIE    [resigned groan] I'm not lying. DOC    Pancakes? MARNIE    [almost a sob] Yes. DOC    The food - is it there yet? MARNIE    [sharp gasp, then frightened] It's coming! DOC    Good.  Let's move forward.  Who brings the food? MARNIE    [awe, fear] Momma. DOC    Tell me. MARNIE    [mounting fear]  Perfect.  Plastic.  Pearls.  Each hair in line, like sweet little soldiers.  DOC    She is carrying--? MARNIE    [rising fear] She ...has a cart.  There is a covered dish. DOC    What are you wearing? MARNIE    [snapped back] What? DOC    I ask the questions.  MARNIE    I'm sorry! DOC    What are you wearing.  Look down. MARNIE    Oh.  [beat] T-shirt, jeans - I can feel ... sneakers.  DOC    And--? MARNIE    What? DOC    [warning] And--? MARNIE    My clothes?  They're... torn up - I think I was in a fight. DOC    [calm again] Are you injured? MARNIE    [beat]  My ankle hurts.  I'm scratched up.  My... head... DOC    [avid] Is there blood? MARNIE    I - DOC    [avid] Is there blood? MARNIE    I - I don't think it's mine. DOC    Tell me who then. MARNIE    [on a long sigh] Jerry. DOC    How? MARNIE    [shocked] I found him in the barn.  He was flopped over the edge of the ...hayloft - I thought he was dead.  There was blood everywhere.  [starting to sob] Dripping all over me. DOC    What did you-- MARNIE    [interrupting, still sobbing] Then he - he moaned. MUSIC    FADES OUT   SCENE 4. JERRY    [very weak] Marnie! MARNIE    [whispering] Jerry!  Oh, god - Jerry! SOUND    CREAKING OF LADDER JERRY    Help... me.... MARNIE    Here, let me move you - [grunt as she drags him] JERRY    [moans, trying to keep quiet] MARNIE    Oh, god. JERRY    It's bad. MARNIE    I think so.  It's too dark. JERRY    [gasping, in agony] No.  It was the kid.  You have to get out of here! MARNIE    But you-- JERRY    I ... I'm not going anywhere ... you gotta go and get help! MARNIE    Where? JERRY    Just get the hell out!  The woods-- MARNIE    [smothered gasping sob] JERRY    [whisper] Shit! HAROLD    3,4 shut the door...? SOUND    BARN DOOR CREAKS OPEN MARNIE    [smothered gasping sob] SOUND    SILENCE, THEN   SCENE 5. MUSIC CUTS IN DOC    Is that when they took you in? MARNIE    No.  Jerry distracted him.  DOC    Who? MARNIE    Harold.  DOC    [satisfied, smug] Harold. MARNIE    [sobbing] After I jumped out the window, I heard Jerry scream. DOC    [warning] Did I ask? MARNIE    No? DOC    You don't sound very sure. MARNIE    [quick, panicky] No.  You didn't ask.  I'm sorry. DOC    I think you need a reminder-- MARNIE    Please!  I remember!  [long beat, then]  I... love you. DOC    Pancakes. MARNIE    Pancakes? DOC    Is the food on the table? MARNIE    [long shaky sigh of relief]  Yes. DOC    Where did you sleep? MARNIE    [blindsided] What? DOC    Where did you sleep? MARNIE    I didn't....  Oh, I was... knocked out.  The food‑‑? DOC    Please try and keep up.  When were you knocked out? MARNIE    That was later - after... Jerry. DOC    Who did it? MARNIE    Harold, I said it was Harold. DOC    That knocked you out. MARNIE    Oh, no.  He did Jerry. DOC    You're not following.  Let's have a break. MARNIE    [long wail] No!!! SOUND    ELECTRIC HUM MARNIE    Umumumumum.  [jittery series of hums, like being electrocuted] MUSIC    OUT SOUND    HEARTBEAT   SCENE 6. AMBIANCE    WOODS, CHEERFUL SOUND    CRUNCHING OF WALKING JERRY    Marnie? MARNIE    Yeah? JERRY    Uh, This camping trip isn't too bad, eh?  I mean, I know you didn't want to-- MARNIE    [sweet] It's not too bad.  Gloria had to beg me to get me to come, but...  It's OK. JERRY    I mean, what can you say against nature, right?  Fresh air, secluded lake.  Perfect for... skinny dipping? MARNIE    I brought a suit. JERRY    Ah... It'll be cool. MARNIE    Probably freezing - that's a glacier-fed lake.  But, yes, it will be fun. JERRY    Good.  You don't mind ...  Gloria being kinda busy all the time? MARNIE    Oh, you noticed?  [laughs] She and Tim haven't stopped fooling around since we got here. MUSIC SUDDENLY CUTS IN   SCENE 7. DOC    Better now? MARNIE    [gasping, shuddering, trying to force words out coherently]  Better.  Yes.  Of course. DOC    Good.  Let's continue. MARNIE    [snorty sob, then deep breath]  All right. DOC    Jerry died. MARNIE    [almost a sob] Yes. DOC    You loved him. MARNIE    I think so. DOC    You don't know? MARNIE    I - I liked him, but we were just getting to know... each... other?  [afraid she said something wrong, gasping snorty sobs] DOC    [beat, then slightly disdainful]  How sweet. MARNIE    [she calms a bit] DOC    Did you screw him? MARNIE    No! DOC    Of course not - pure sweet innocent you. MARNIE    I-- I don't-- DOC    [casual] Shut up. MARNIE    [hiccuping gasp] DOC    Where is Gloria? MARNIE    Gloria?  [starting to cry]  She's my best friend. DOC    Was that the question? MARNIE    She... she... Um [trying to remember] she's dead? DOC    [sigh, tsks]  MARNIE    No - no!  She's - was - in the van. DOC    Very good. [beat]  When did you find her? MARNIE    Uh - after the barn.  I was trying to get away.  [suddenly remembering] Jerry gave me the keys. DOC    Good old Jerry.  Go on. MARNIE    I ran to the van, and Gloria and Tim ... were...  [sobs] DOC    Please be specific. MARNIE    [through sobs] They were in the middle of - you know-- DOC    Sex? MARNIE    Yes.  They were together, and someone had cut off... both... their... heads...! DOC    [Tsks] MARNIE    The heads were lined up next to them... like they were watching. DOC    Charming. MARNIE    Checking their progress. DOC    Has the food arrived? MARNIE    [gasp, stops herself from speaking, then dead calm] Yes.  Momma is in the room. DOC    What does she do? MARNIE    [getting agitated] She opens the dish. DOC    What is in the dish? MARNIE    [almost incapable of speaking] Sssteam. DOC    Look down at your lap. MARNIE    [snort, hiccup] Yes. DOC    What do you see? MARNIE    My knees.  Blood.  The carpet.  I'm glad the blood is all tacky, so it won't drip and ruin the carpet.  They would be so angry. DOC    Are they talking? MARNIE    Yes. DOC    Don't look.  Just speak the words. MARNIE    Momma says-- MUSIC     OUT   SCENE 8. MOMMA    Three cheers for the founder of the feast. FRED    Hip hip hooray-- [tapers off, when he realizes no one else is with him]  Oh. LITTLE GIRL    Can I eat the tail? LITTLE BOY    Pancakes. OLD MAN    PAN CAKES! FRED    You just had to set him off! Didn't you? HAROLD    [quietly] 1-2 buckle my shoe. OLD MAN    PanCAKES! Lovely golden brown. MOMMA    Nothing like a nice dinner together.    SCENE 9. DOC    Are there empty chairs? MARNIE    No.  They are all here. DOC    What about your chair? MARNIE    I'm in it. DOC    Are you?  Look back.  MARNIE    I'm strapped in. DOC    You must have got free. MARNIE    Yes.  I-- [gasps and catches herself] DOC    What? MARNIE    I'm sorry.  That wasn't the question. DOC    Good girl. SOUND    ELECTRICITY MARNIE    [hums and groans with the jolts] SOUND    HEARTBEAT   SCENE 10. AMBIANCE    OUTSIDE, PLEASANT WOODS JERRY    Don't worry about it.  It was probably just a hiker or something. MARNIE    [mildly worried] But he looked so weird.  His face was like a puzzle. JERRY    It was just the bushes. MARNIE    I know. JERRY    I bet it was the weird guy we saw on the road on the way in.  You know, the one that just stood there and stared as we drove past.  You know.  Now, we all agreed this weekend is for fun. SOUND    SPLASH MARNIE    What was that? JERRY    What? MARNIE    The splash? JERRY    Wow, you need some serious relaxation.  MARNIE    But I heard a splash, and -- Something  wet? JERRY    Nonsense.  [fading out] It's just last night's rain. DOC    [whispered voice, very spooky]  Marnie. MARNIE    Jerry!  I know you must have heard that! JERRY    Marnie, you're making yourself into a basket case.  There's nobody for miles around!  It's perfectly safe. MARNIE    But that voice-- DOC    [quick echoey whisper] Marnie.  MARNIE    It knows my name! DOC    Wake up! SOUND    WOODS VANISH   SCENE 11. MARNIE    [Crying]  Why can't you just leave me? DOC    Now, that wouldn't do either of us any good, would it?  MARNIE    I want to stay there.  With my friends. DOC    And die? MARNIE    [hiccups sobs, then uncertain] Yes. DOC    I don't think that's quite true. MARNIE    Yes. DOC    You fought so hard to get here. MARNIE    I walked on broken glass. DOC    Poor toes.  Poor little piggies. MARNIE    [resigned] What do you want? DOC    I ask the questions. MARNIE    [sigh]  Fine.  Go on. DOC    I also give the orders. MARNIE    [beat, sniff]  I'm ready. DOC    Maybe you can learn the rules.  [beat]  Very good.  Where are you now? MARNIE    Right here. DOC    Are you? MARNIE    [unsure] Yes. DOC    Close your eyes and when you open them, you will see clouds. MARNIE    Clouds? DOC    Do you see them? MARNIE    I'm afraid. DOC    Open your eyes. MARNIE    Clouds.   SCENE 12. OLD MAN    k-k-k-k-ake. LITTLE GIRL    Burn it. MOMMA    Dig in! FRED    Again? LITTLE BOY    There's a face in my soup.   SCENE 13. MARNIE    [screams] DOC    Don't backslide.  MARNIE    [screams and sobs] DOC    [tsks] And we were making such good progress.  [sigh] SOUND    SINGLE SHORT JOLT OF ELECTRICITY MARNIE    [gasps to a stop] DOC     Just right.  Thought I was going to lose you. MARNIE    I can't look!  Not at that! DOC    Have to toughen you up. MARNIE    I can't-- DOC    Look down. MARNIE    My lap.  DOC    And in your lap? MARNIE    Hands. DOC    Restrained? MARNIE    Yes. DOC    Really? MARNIE    [unsure]  Yes? DOC    Then how will you escape? MARNIE    I... can't. DOC    That is not the right answer. MARNIE    Please help me! DOC    Are they very tight? MARNIE    No.  But if I get loose, they'll see. DOC    But if you don't get loose while they eat, you will end up in the clouds. MARNIE    Pancakes. DOC    Precisely.  Can you pull loose? MARNIE    I have to brace it against my leg. DOC    Good girl.  Now you're thinking.  Describe the room. MARNIE    The table-- DOC    I know about the table.  Where are the windows and doors? MARNIE    The windows are steamed over. DOC    Doors? MARNIE    Momma came from the kitchen.  To my right.  [slowly, carefully looking around]  There's a door beside me.  Over my left shoulder. DOC    Watch them.  Tell me what they're saying while you get your hands free. MARNIE    I can't-- DOC    Do you want it again? MARNIE    No!  [beat, breathing harshly]  I can't look at them. DOC    Listen. MUSIC   SCENE 14. LITTLE BOY    I'm not hungry. LITTLE GIRL    I'll eat yours. I want to grow up big and strong. OLD GUY    [mmm mmm mmm - chewing noisily] HAROLD    Five, six. FRED    Tasty, momma.  As usual. MOMMA    Oh, you! MARNIE    Almost. DOC    Talk to me, not them. MARNIE    It hurts. DOC    Life is pain. MOMMA    Clean your plate, Hun. FRED    He's a little butterball. MOMMA    [cold as ice] That's not nice. FRED    Sorry, Momma.  Sorry!  I love you. MOMMA    Did I ask you?  Harold - look at this mess.  HAROLD    Lay them straight? MOMMA    You can take him and hose him off.  FRED    Yes, momma.  MOMMA    And soak that pillowcase.  [cutesy] Can't have my good linens all stained. FRED    Can I finish eating first? MOMMA    [cold] I don't know, can you? FRED    May I? MOMMA    [sweetness] Of course, dear.  MUSIC   SCENE 15. MARNIE    My right hand is free. DOC    Don't struggle too much.  These buckles are tough for a reason. MARNIE    I think the one with the bag-- DOC    Harold. MARNIE    --is watching me, but I can't tell. DOC    Does he say anything? MARNIE    No... DOC    Once you get your wrists free, what will you do? MARNIE    The strap around my chest-- DOC    And your legs? MARNIE    I don't think that one is very tight. DOC    Don't underestimate it. MARNIE    Why are you helping me? DOC    [kindly] I ask the questions. MARNIE    Right.  Sorry. DOC    No need.  Who am I? MARNIE    What?  I mean, I don't understand.  I don't know. DOC    I think you do. MARNIE    No.  I don't know why I'm here. DOC    But you're not. MARNIE    Not what? DOC    Is your wrist free? MARNIE    Yes. DOC    Move your hands slowly to the buckle, then quickly unhook it. MARNIE    Slowly. DOC    Cats see movement. MARNIE    Rods or cones?  I forget. DOC    Clouds.  Watch the clouds.  Unhook the strap. MARNIE    Freeze.  They're looking. DOC    Don't move.  Let them forget. MUSIC   SCENE 16. FRED    Should we feed HER? LITTLE GIRL    Throw something at her. MOMMA    A night without supper will do her good.  Take Harold - there's a good boy. FRED    Yes, momma. LITTLE BOY    I want a finger.  Can I take a finger? MOMMA    If you're good.  I'll save one for you. LITTLE BOY    Good as goat. OLD MAN    Gold.  Gold is good.  Golden brown.  Pancakes.... k-k-cake! MOMMA    Yes, popsy.  All good. MUSIC   SCENE 17. DOC    And now? MARNIE    They're looking away.  Maybe they will leave me. DOC    Not if they see your wrists are loose.  Quick - choose. MARNIE    Choose what? DOC    Unbuckle and run or pretend you're still secure and wait. MARNIE    My ankle hurts. DOC    Then sit. MARNIE    I'll put my hands back. DOC    We will see. MARNIE    D'you think they will? DOC    I can't see the future. MARNIE    Isn't this a memory? DOC    Is it? MARNIE    Where did I go when I got free? DOC    I ask the questions. MARNIE    But I don't remember. DOC    Take it one moment at a time.  Who am I? MARNIE    A doctor? DOC    Medical? MARNIE    No.  DOC    Ah - now you're thinking.  Let's get through this. MARNIE    They've left the room. DOC    You are alone? MARNIE    The old man is still here.  They'll come back for him. DOC    What can you do about that? MARNIE    I'll run. DOC    He'll yell like a klaxon. MARNIE    I've got the buckle undone.  Now my legs. DOC    Why don't you kill him? MARNIE    What? DOC    I ask the questions.  MUSIC    FADES TO "ROOM TONE"   SCENE 18. SOUND    STUMBLING FOOTSTEPS MARNIE    I'm sorry - I thought I didn't hear you right.  You said to-- DOC    There are always pancakes in heaven.  MARNIE    Open the gates and let him [exertion] IN! OLD GUY    Oof! [dying noises] SOUND    SQUISH OF KNIFE INTO FLESH, GUSH OF BLOOD DOC    Is there another knife? MARNIE    I have it-- SOUND    METAL COVER FALLS TO FLOOR MARNIE    [wail] No! DOC    Stop.  MARNIE    [quick] I'm sorry.  The platter!  Oh, god! DOC    Steam.  Clouds. MARNIE    Jerry! DOC    Don't look. MARNIE    I can't -- DOC    Jerry is gone.  Do it for him. MARNIE    [hissing whisper] Yesss. DOC    Knife? MARNIE    Cleaver. DOC    Nice. MARNIE    [turning a bit gleeful] Cleaver.  Momma.  Kitchen. DOC    Sounds like a plan. MARNIE    Thank you. DOC    I love you. MARNIE    [serious]  That means a lot.   SCENE 19. SOUND    KITCHEN DOOR SWINGS OPEN DOC    Keep down. MOMMA    Hmm?  What? SOUND    HIGH HEEL FOOTSTEPS MOMMA    Who's playing games? MARNIE    [whispered] Come just a little closer. SOUND    A COUPLE MORE FOOTSTEPS MOMMA    Hello? DOC    Now! MARNIE    Ungh! SOUND    KNIFE CUTS NYLONS, LEG.  MOMMA    [screams] SOUND    BODY COLLAPSES, SHOE SCRABBLES ON TILE FLOOR, BLOOD SPURTS DOC    Neatly done.  Hamstring.  Quick or slow? MARNIE    No time.  Ungh! SOUND    KNIFE GOES IN AGAIN MOMMA    [gurgling, choking] SOUND    HANDS SKITTER ACROSS TILES, THEN FLOP AND DROP DOC    [long sigh]  Such a pretty color. MARNIE    Looks good on her. DOC    Four to go. MARNIE    Jerry said it was the kid who... [almost breaks] ...got ...him. DOC    You're finally taking this all seriously. SOUND    THUMP OVERHEAD MARNIE    How many stairs would the house have? SOUND    DOOR OPENS A CRACK DOC    [kindly] I ask the questions.  You'll have to count them. MARNIE    I should see if there's something longer.  DOC    Tablecloths can cloud the issue. MARNIE    You and your clouds. SOUND    FEET COMING DOWN THE STAIRS DOC    six, five, four-- MARNIE    Three, two one --- SOUND    DOOR STARTS TO OPEN, THEN IS SLAMMED SHUT, BODY FALLS FRED    [yell, groan] DOC    Full point. SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN AGAIN FRED    Momma?  What are you doing--? MARNIE    I ask the questions. DOC    I love you. FRED    I think you broke my-- urk! SOUND    KNIFE PLUNGES INTO THROAT FRED    [gurgling as he dies] DOC    It's quite warm, isn't it? MARNIE    Yes. DOC    Hot. MARNIE    Boiling. DOC    [concerned] Steam? MARNIE    [dismissive] Clouds. DOC    [satisfied] Yesss.  Time to go hunting. MARNIE    Rods or cones? DOC    Sticks and stones. MARNIE    [chuckles]   SCENE 20. SOUND    CAREFUL FOOTSTEPS UP THE STAIRS SOUND    CREAK, FEET STOP DOC    Steady. Where are you now? MARNIE    Almost to the top. DOC    What do you see? MARNIE    Hallway.  Doors.  DOC    And behind you? MARNIE    Just the stairs.  DOC    [stern]  Did you look, or just guess? MARNIE    [panicky] Sorry!  I'll - I'll look.  It's stairs.  The door at the bottom is shut. DOC    Did you shut it? MARNIE    [almost a wail] I don't remember! DOC    Calm down.  One, two buckle my shoe-- HAROLD    [off, calling] Three four, shut the door-- MARNIE    [quiet, calming herself]  Five six.  Pick.  Up.  Sticks. DOC    Harold is looking too. MARNIE    [calm again] Yes. DOC    Don't forget the children. MARNIE    [breaks a little] Jerry DOC    Yah, dear Jerry. HAROLD    [coming closer] Seven? eight?  Lay them straight? MARNIE    [very quietly] Marco! DOC    [chuckles nastily, then]  Here in the hall, or one of the rooms? MARNIE    Here.  Here I have someplace to go-- SOUND    DOOR WRENCHED OPEN AT BOTTOM OF STAIRS HAROLD    Nine, ten - a big fat hen! DOC    What will you do now?  SOUND    FOOTSTEPS COMING UP STAIRS SOUND    GRIND OF FURNITURE BEING MOVED MARNIE    [exerting herself] No one ever fights them.  That's why. DOC    What was the question? HAROLD    Eleven, Twelve - dig and delve. MARNIE    [exerting] Why do they always win? DOC    Excellent. MARNIE    I love you. DOC    Of course. SOUND    GRIND OF FURNITURE ENDS, HEAVY SOMETHING GOES THUMPING DOEN THE STAIRS MARNIE    Hah! HAROLD    [scream of outrgae] DOC    Don't get too full of yourself-- SOUND    STAB MARNIE    [gasp of pain] LITTLE GIRL    [flat] You broke the chiffonier. DOC    It's low.  You'll live.  For a while.  Kill her. MARNIE    She's just a kid! SOUND    SHUFFLING FOOTSTEPS BACKING UP, SMALL CHILD FOOTSTEPS STALKING, INTERMITTENT DRIPPING DOC    You do not ask the questions! MARNIE    [meek and in pain] No.  I'm sorry! LITTLE GIRL    We could have played.  [tsks] SOUND    KNIVES SHARPENING MARNIE    You hurt me! LITTLE GIRL    If I didn't, Harold would just have to. MARNIE    I- I can't! DOC    No time for breaks now.  Give or take.  [beat, solemn] I love you. MARNIE    I'm sorry. SOUND    MARNIE DASHES FORWARD MARNIE    Ung! SOUND    PICKS UP GIRL AND TOSSES HER DOWN THE STAIRS LITTLE GIRL    [noises of indignation as she falls] SOUND    THUMPS AND BUMPS DOC    [whispered] No breaks. MARNIE    I'm... hurt. SOUND    STICKY NOISE DOC    You should go home. SOUND    [OFF] DOOR SLAMS OPEN MARNIE    Harold! DOC    In here! MARNIE    Aah! HAROLD    [incoherent high pitched scream] SOUND    BODY SLAMS AGAINST DOOR, DOOR SLAMS OPEN, BODY TUMBLES INTO ROOM.  MARNIE SCOOTCHES AWAY FROM DOOR.   SCENE 21. SOUND    MARNIE SCRAMBLES UP TO HER FEET DOC    Out the window. MARNIE    [panting heavily] SOUND    FOOTSTEPS DRAG ACROSS THE ROOM, DRIPPING.  SOUND    POUNDING ON THE WINDOW MARNIE    It won't open. DOC    It is glass. MARNIE    [long gasping breath, then] ungh! SOUND    WINDOW SHATTERS DOC    Out! MARNIE    But I can't see-- DOC    You can see what's in here. MARNIE    [scream as she jumps] SOUND    ELECTRIC NOISES   SCENE 22. DOC    Where are you now? AMBIANCE    NIGHTTIME, OUTSIDE MARNIE    I'm on the ground.  What should I do? DOC    [rueful] You don't ask the questions. MARNIE    Zap me again.  DOC    It's much too late for that.  Why aren't you running? MARNIE    I think I'm broken. DOC    Will that stop you? MARNIE    I don't care any more. DOC    Are you absolutely sure? SOUND    DOOR BANGS OPEN, OFF MARNIE    [crying, crawling] DOC    Is it bad? MARNIE    Yes. DOC    I am sorry. MARNIE    I know. HAROLD    [howling] DOC    I love you. LITTLE BOY    [off] There she goes! HAROLD    [howling] SOUND    CHAINSAW REVS DOC    Where are you now? MARNIE    In deep shit. DOC    Where? MARNIE    Out back. SOUND    HEAVY FEET RUN ACROSS GRAVEL, COMING ON DOC    Where are you going? SOUND    BODY DROPS MARNIE    [muffled, crying] Nowhere. DOC    Nowhere? MARNIE    [panting, crying a little] I can't. My leg. SOUND    ROAR OF CHAINSAW GETS CLOSER DOC    What do you want? MARNIE    How can you ask that? DOC    It's my job. MARNIE    [beat]  Jerry-- DOC    But Jerry's-- MARNIE    [sob] Yes! DOC    Very well.  Let's take that break. SOUND     ELECTRIC HUM MARNIE    Umumum SOUND    HEARTBEAT   SCENE 23. AMB    NICEY WOODS SOUND    FOOTSTEPS JERRY    [teasing] What took you so long? MARNIE    [bright] Sorry.  Got a little caught up. JERRY    Is there anything wrong? MARNIE    No, Not anymore. JERRY    Wanna go down to the lake? MARNIE    More than anything. SOUND    FOOTSTEPS IN LEAVES SOUND    ECHOEY, DISTANT - CHAINSAW, MARNIE'S SCREAMS CLOSER OLIVIA    Now that you know how to find us, you'll have to come back.  Maybe next week?  Don't be a stranger - we have enough of those already...   *********************************************************** The "Truth": This story is going on inside the disturbed mind of a victim of a "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" type event.  Her boyfriend and other friends were killed by this creepy family of cannibals, and she was captured and chained to a chair. At first it sounds like she is being psychoanalyzed after the fact, but eventually it becomes clear that this is not "after" anything, she is still stuck in the events she is describing. The "Doctor" voice is, in fact, inside her head, and seems to represent her logic or her survival instinct - keeping her head clear and focused while the rest of her is busy panicking.  For example, the voice guides her to look around, to avoid things that are disturbing, and to focus on getting herself free. When all else fails, Doc "shocks" Marnie into a faint, where she experiences a pleasant flashback/dream to calm her down before returning to reality. To add to the dreamlike atmosphere of the story, and the connectedness of the two, the voices of Marnie and Doc are both played by me, and rotate - moving across the soundscape to trade places - very slowly throughout the episode. At the end, when there is no remaining hope, Marnie begs Doc for the shock - so she can be unconscious and "in a better place" when they ultimately kill her - and Doc kindly allows it.

274 - Why Don't Young People Hear the Branch Creak?

This week we celebrate the Haunted Mansion's birthday, we get a look into the upcoming Muppets Haunted Mansion special, Imagineering is honored by Fast Company, prices for the new Galactic Starcruiser experience are released plus we're super excited to talk about the release of our very first enamel pin!  Listen now at: https://www.podketeers.com/373   Check out our series of Armchair Imagineering episodes here:  https://www.podketeers.com/armchair-imagineering/ --- Join the FGP Squad Family! Support for Podkeeters is provided by listeners and viewers like you! We like to call our supporters our Fairy Godparents (they like to call themselves the FGP Squad). You can find more info on how to become part of the FGP Squad family by going to:  https://www.podketeers.com/fgp --- We're on Discord! Join us and other members of our community on our Discord server! Use the invite link below to join us: https://discord.gg/gG8kJ2a --- Help us make a difference!  Teamboat Willie is the official charity team of the Podketeers Podcast. For more information on the charity that we're currently supporting, head to: http://www.teamboatwillie.com

Chapp Strongthroat (Jay Bee) inquires about returning a yacht he bought from Larry Yachtzee (Rob T).

Con:-what's the matter. Pro:-it's hard nut to creak --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/english-language0/message

This week Aries and Andy discuss an array of topics including the Tina Turner documentary and Falcon and The Winter Soldier. Social Media Instagram: @SpearsBergPod Twitter: @SpearsBergPod Facebook: SpearsBergPod Patreon: SpearsBergPod Youtube: SpearsBergPod --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/spears-and-steinberg/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

President of fast-growing ActionSA, Herman Mashaba, has highlighted that there are about 40,000 medical posts frozen and more than 500 unemployed doctors who want to help fight Covid-19 - but can’t get jobs. Meanwhile, taxpayers have footed the bill for Cuban medical personnel. He shares the details of the #HireOurMedicalHeroes campaign and why new hospital staff need full-time jobs - and not the ‘evil’ of contracts while they are exposed to the virus. He also dissects slow vaccine delivery and the government's empty coffers. and points out that corruption is the reason for the state healthcare sector failures.

President of fast-growing ActionSA, Herman Mashaba, has highlighted that there are about 40,000 medical posts frozen and more than 500 unemployed doctors who want to help fight Covid-19 - but can’t get jobs. Meanwhile, taxpayers have footed the bill for Cuban medical personnel. He shares the details of the #HireOurMedicalHeroes campaign and why new hospital staff need full-time jobs - and not the ‘evil’ of contracts while they are exposed to the virus. He also dissects slow vaccine delivery and the government's empty coffers. and points out that corruption is the reason for the state healthcare sector failures.

Cody Carnes, Brandon Lake, Josh Baldwin, NEEDTOBREATHE, Paul & Hannah McClure - these are only a few of the incredible artists that today’s guests have produced. The Creak Music in Franklin, TN is comprised of Brad King, David Leonard, & Seth Talley. Together they’ve received multiple Grammy nominations, Dove Awards, & many others – all for writing & producing the songs over the past 10+ years that have marked us.  The production side of worship is so so important. Not just for capturing the song, but for how they carry the Spirit of God within them.   As worship leaders, musicians, & vocalists there is so much to learn from those in these roles that will directly shape your ability.  This is a conversation that will spark your creativity & open your eyes to the beauty of sound.  Mentioned in the Episode  The Creak Music  The Creak Music’s Instagram  If you like what you hear, please leave us a review! Also, feel free to shoot us an e-mail at podcast@worshiponline.com & tell us how we can better serve you and your church through this podcast.  Don’t forget to sign up for your FREE 2-week subscription to Worship Online at worshiponline.com/podcast!  The Worship Online Podcast is produced by Worship Online in Nashville, TN.  Hosted & Produced by Josh Kluge  Backing Tracks by Johnluke Lewis 

Many of us have joints that grind, creak, grate, pop, thump, crack, or crunch when we move through a particular range of motion. But what is that sound, why does it happen, and should we worry about it? We want to know how Get-Fit Guy can help you reach your fitness goals! Take a short Get-Fit Guy survey (https://bit.ly/gfgsurvey2020) Read the transcript. Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows. Subscribe to the newsletter for regular updates. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter. Links: https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/exercise/why-do-my-knees-creak https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/subscribe https://www.facebook.com/GetFitGuy https://twitter.com/GetFitGuy

David Leonard of The Creak talks about creating in community and his upcoming project. Jason and Daniel discuss transitions in member mail.

This Sunday night we'll be welcoming back Small Town Monsters film director Seth Breedlove to BTE Radio's Creature Features. Joining Seth will be joined by Brandon Dalo the film's producer. Shawn Donley and Marianne Donley of Dark Shadow Ghost Tours and Panic'D will be back with us this week during the first half hour for the latest episode of the Haunted Spotlight. Then at 8:30 Seth and Brandon will join us. Eric, Marie and Karyn be talking with Seth and Brandon about the second release in the Small Town Monsters series “The Beast of Whitehall,” their new project set to begin filming in 2016, “The Boggy Creek Monster.” Plus, we'll revisit their first successful project The Minerva Monster. Minerva Monster, the first documentary film is directed by Seth Breedlove, and produced by Jesse Morgan and Alan Megargle. Minerva Monster is the first in a series of documentaries called Small Town Monsters. Setting aside all the drama, and preamble of previous “monster” documentaries, Minerva Monster will tell the story through witness interviews; the real story, in the words of those who lived it. The film was officially released on May 16th at the Ohio Bigfoot Conference and is available for purchase on the Small Town Monsters website. Seth and company have already had very successful screenings of the film around Ohio including the Minerva Monster Festival in Minerva Ohio. The next STM film, titled "Beast of Whitehall" is set for release in the spring of 2016. The film is directed by Seth Breedlove and Produced by Brandon Dalo. It will focus on a seminal creature sighting that occurred in 1976 in the town of Whitehall, NY. The SMT crew has kicked off a Kickstarter campaign to begin funding of the third film in the Small Town Monster series, “Boggy Creek Monster,” based on the seminal Bigfoot case made famous in the Legend of Boggy Creek; The Fouke Monster. Their third movie will be focus on the ongoing Boggy Creek sightings. Lyle Blackburn, author of Beast of Boggy Creek will be an acting producer and consultant on the project About our guests: Seth Breedlove is a freelance investigative journalist and podcast host. He has contributed content to numerous websites on a variety of topics. He served as a columnist for the Massillon Independent, helming a weekly column titled "Slice of Life" that ran on the front page of the paper. In addition to his column he has covered news stories and daily assignments for the Medina Gazette. He co-hosts a pop culture podcast called Ancillary Characters with his friends Allen and Paul. A new media enthusiast, Seth began podcasting in the mid-00's and continues to test the boundaries of the medium each week. In 2014 he started SasWhat: A Podcast About Bigfoot with co-host Mark Matzke where each week they discuss the subject as a whole and interview various personalities from the field. Seth has also researched and examined historical Bigfoot reports from across the country, compiling an extensive database of newspaper articles dating back to the early 1800's. He maintained a bi-weekly column for the Ohio Bigfoot Conference which examined possible Bigfoot historical newspaper reports from around the state of Ohio. Small Town Monsters is an independent film series that explores lost and bizarre history around the United States. "Minerva Monster" was the first film in the series and saw its release in late Spring of 2015. In addition to film, STM is also merchandise, and other media devoted to this same subject matter. Small Town Monsters was the brainchild of Seth Breedlove, director of Minerva Monster. In addition to film, STM is also merchandise, and other media devoted to this same subject matter. Small Town Monsters was the brainchild of Seth Breedlove, director of Minerva Monster. http://www.smalltownmonsters.com/home.html https://www.facebook.com/smltownmonsters https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/minervamonster/boggy-creek-monster Tune in to this episode of Creature Features here at BTE Radio with Seth Breedlove and Brandon Dalo as we talk about Small Town Monsters.