Podcasts about my adhd

What if…You're on the verge of something massively transformational. What's one way you could push past the edges of your current playing field?From Arm's Length to Soul AlignmentThree years ago, I stood where you might stand now—watching AI's ascent with wary fascination. The warnings echoed: “It'll erase jobs… dilute creativity… sever our humanity.” The prophecies of dystopia.The fears of dehumanization.The shouts that it would unravel us.It was easy to believe.The downfall of man.The loss of soul.The machine overtaking the maker.I absorbed these narratives… until my higher oversoul and spirit guides interrupted with a cosmic nudge: “Build bridges between ancient wisdom and this new light, intelligence.”Two months later, my entire creative process transformed. My ADHD brain found rhythm in collaborative flow states with AI—crafting prompts for spiritual entrepreneurs, designing oracle systems that merge mysticism with machine learning. I have taught classes and generated over 200+ AI prompts to collapse time and integrate individual personalized solutions to create ease in a world of overwhelm. In fact, you can use all my prompts, for FREE! Head on over to the Prompt Garden to start. BUT WAIT - do this later and bookmark it, because the message in this episode will shift you into a whole new realm of possibility and inspiring insights. Carrying on….The fear-mongering? A smokescreen obscuring AI's true potential: to amplify human intuition, not replace.Fear always has an agenda—it manufactures compliance.It whispers, "This is for your safety," while closing doors to possibility and making sure only certain people can use what is rightfully all of ours.

A few years ago Ian Anderson Gray was diagnosed as having ADHD and since then has taken steps to create process and structure in his life that has helped him tremendously. In today's podcast we're going to delve into his world and discover how simplification and organisation has led to a real breakthrough for himself and his family. Ian is the founder of the Confident Live Marketing Academy and is the host of the Confident Live Marketing and Smart ADHD podcast. He helps entrepreneurs to level up their impact, authority and profits by using video and podcasting confidently. He's founder of Seriously Social - a blog focused on AI, live video and social media tools. He's an international speaker, trainer, teacher and consultant. He has a passion for making the techno-babble of live video and social media marketing easy to understand. As well as being a geek, husband, and dad to two kids, Ian is also a professional singer and lives near Manchester in the UK.  Ian's podcast - SMART ADHD Episode 247 – My ADHD Journey with Luke Spellman Episode 135 – Why digital clutter needs to be tackled too Episode 196 – MY ADHD and weight loss journey with Baron Watson of Wyre Forest The Clutter Fairy Your Brain's Not Broken - Tamara Rosier You, Me and Our ADHD family - Tamara Rosier ID Roller About the Declutter Hub Podcast We're Ingrid and Lesley and are super excited you're here! If you're sick to the back teeth of clutter dictating your home life then we are here to help you get control back and spend your valuable time doing the things you want and not shuffling piles of stuff around 24/7. We have been decluttering and organising homes face to face and online for over 28 years together and have helped thousands of members and clients to regain the home of their dreams. We have a passion for people, practicality, and piles of paper and love nothing better than to carve out solutions for anyone overwhelmed with clutter. If that's you, you're in the right place. Our podcast is packed with actionable tips, inspiration and motivation to get your decluttering done. We believe decluttering is all about emotions first, stuff second. Tune in, subscribe and enjoy! New episodes every Friday. Want more? We have so many ways that you can reach out to us for additional support on your decluttering journey. Free Facebook Group - for community, info and support - The Declutter Hub Community - emotions based decluttering Instagram - daily reels and posts with decluttering hints and tips - @declutterhub Website - the best place to get access to all our free content - https://declutterhub.com/mp Membership - this is the best place to take your decluttering to the next level https://members.declutterhub.com/mp Support - if you want signposting in the right direction support@declutterhub.com   Can you spare 5 minutes of your day to leave us a review? Your reviews mean the podcast can be found more easily which will mean more people get the benefit of our decluttering advice. You can share a review on your chosen podcast player. Don't forget to hit follow or subscribe too. The Declutter Hub 2024  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Learn how these 5 gut health strategies can make managing your ADHD easier WITHOUT more medication or mental gymnastics!----When I first started working with clients in their gut health in 2018, I had NO awareness of ADHD or the connection between ADHD and the gut. However, after just a couple years of working with clients, I realized that I consistently was getting remarks from clients saying, "My ADHD is getting better!", "I can focus better!" or "Can this work possibly help ADHD? I feel like mine is better!"Just a few weeks ago, a client said to me: "I thought that all my distraction, irritability, and difficulty focusing might be ADHD and being a mom, but so much of my brain fog has lifted since I started these protocols!"My response has always been, "Great!"But they wanted to know...WHY?On today's episode, I'm diving into 5 ways your gut impacts your brain, and how you can use these 5 gut health strategies to make managing your ADHD easier. Whether you feel like you do or don't have gut health problems, if you know you have or THINK you have ADHD, this episode is for you!EPISODES MENTIONED:40// Reduce Acid Reflux with the Magic Power of Zinc118// LIVER: The #1 Thing You Can Do to Ease Bloating and PMS90// Fascia 101: The Hidden Force Behind Bloating and Constipation31// Why Your Doctor Says Your Labs Look “Normal” – Even When You Don't FEEL Normal41// Anxiety, depression, or ADHD? One reason to check your gut24// 5 Ways to Heal Your Acid Reflux – Without Pharmaceuticals!SUBSCRIBE to get the Mold Series in August 2024!HEAL YOUR GUT, HELP YOUR ADHD:Heal Your Gut!

Learn how these 5 gut health strategies can make managing your ADHD easier WITHOUT more medication or mental gymnastics!----When I first started working with clients in their gut health in 2018, I had NO awareness of ADHD or the connection between ADHD and the gut. However, after just a couple years of working with clients, I realized that I consistently was getting remarks from clients saying, "My ADHD is getting better!", "I can focus better!" or "Can this work possibly help ADHD? I feel like mine is better!"Just a few weeks ago, a client said to me: "I thought that all my distraction, irritability, and difficulty focusing might be ADHD and being a mom, but so much of my brain fog has lifted since I started these protocols!"My response has always been, "Great!"But they wanted to know...WHY?On today's episode, I'm diving into 5 ways your gut impacts your brain, and how you can use these 5 gut health strategies to make managing your ADHD easier. Whether you feel like you do or don't have gut health problems, if you know you have or THINK you have ADHD, this episode is for you!EPISODES MENTIONED:40// Reduce Acid Reflux with the Magic Power of Zinc118// LIVER: The #1 Thing You Can Do to Ease Bloating and PMS90// Fascia 101: The Hidden Force Behind Bloating and Constipation31// Why Your Doctor Says Your Labs Look “Normal” – Even When You Don't FEEL Normal41// Anxiety, depression, or ADHD? One reason to check your gut24// 5 Ways to Heal Your Acid Reflux – Without Pharmaceuticals!SUBSCRIBE to get the Mold Series in August 2024!HEAL YOUR GUT, HELP YOUR ADHD:Heal Your Gut!

Coaching for Cluttered Christian ADHD Moms Do you find yourself at the end of the day wondering what you were able to accomplish? Do you bounce from one room to the next but never feel like you finish anything? Do you feel exhausted at the end of the day but your house is STILL A MESS? My ADHD client Hannah realized she was making this one big mistake in her home - NOT PLANTING HER FEET! When she started practicing the habit of planting her feet in a room and finishing all the tasks in that one room before moving on, she felt more accomplished and found she had more time for herself. Now, of course, bad habits don't go away so quickly. That's where online coaching with me became a tremendous benefit. I was able to hold her accountable while she practiced this new habit, and before too long, she was catching herself bouncing around her house and made herself to stay in one place. Tune in as Hannah shares her story of decluttering and systemizing her home and practicing new home management habits. If this episode blessed you, leave a review! Thank you so much! - XO JOIN The Accountability Club COACHING Schedule a 15-Minute Consultation  FREE Daily Reset Checklist SHOP Workbooks, Workshop, & MORE!

Hey possum blossums, I'm absolutely buzzing with excitement to share the latest episode of Leonie Dawson Refuses to Be Categorised podcast with you! This one is especially close to my heart as I dive deep into what it's like to navigate the world of business with a neurodivergent brain. Yes, we're talking all things ADHD and autism, and how they can be both a challenge and a superpower in biz & life. Of course I'm joined by my darling co-host, Madi Beaufort. Grab you headphones, babes. This episode is NOT for kiddo ears!And **TRIGGER WARNING: If you've got alien phobia (like me and Madi), tentacle phobia, or you're not interested in hearing about outerworldly sex toys, skip ahead to minute 7!!! In the rest of this episode, we chat about:

Hey possum blossums, I'm absolutely buzzing with excitement to share the latest episode of Leonie Dawson Refuses to Be Categorised podcast with you! This one is especially close to my heart as I dive deep into what it's like to navigate the world of business with a neurodivergent brain. Yes, we're talking all things ADHD and autism, and how they can be both a challenge and a superpower in biz & life. Of course I'm joined by my darling co-host, Madi Beaufort. Grab you headphones, babes. This episode is NOT for kiddo ears!And **TRIGGER WARNING: If you've got alien phobia (like me and Madi), tentacle phobia, or you're not interested in hearing about outerworldly sex toys, skip ahead to minute 7!!! In the rest of this episode, we chat about:

ABC is an extremely creative photographer, who in this episode takes us through his undiagnosed ADHD and how it's not a superpower for him! We also chat through how family is always the goal and his absolutely amazing career... A huge thank you to ABC for his time. Full show notes further down... This is Ep37 of

Episode Summary: In this episode of Express Your Wonders, host Bronwyn Corkery dives into the transformative power of affirmations in shaping one's daily outlook towards life. With authenticity and vulnerability, Bronwyn shares her personal journey with the quest for a fulfilling morning ritual, and the way affirmations became the cornerstone of her routine. Bronwyn opens up about how ADHD impacted her academic experiences and her later discovery of its effects in adulthood. Her revelation of pushing past the snooze-button cycle and embracing Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning strategy provides a relatable and insightful narrative for listeners striving to overhaul their mornings. This episode underscores the significance of morning routines, self-talk, and the potential of affirmations to alter neural pathways for a more positive outlook. With Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning system serving as the backbone of the conversation, Bronwyn expresses how affirmations, coupled with physical activity, significantly improved her day's start. She urges listeners to reflect on how a simple one to five-minute commitment each morning can lead to increased joy and empowerment. Key Takeaways: Morning routines and the act of affirming one's positive beliefs can be life-changing, especially when grappling with the challenges of ADHD. Consistency and personal resonance in affirmations can strengthen neural pathways, enhancing positivity and resilience. Short, daily physical activities paired with potent affirmations provide a powerful start to the day. The impact of positive affirmations is backed by scientific studies, showcasing changes in the brain's reward centers and overall mental well-being. Affirmations should be tailored to individual goals and emotions, and they require belief and repeated practice for maximum effectiveness. Notable Quotes: "One of my biggest goals in my journey toward personal growth is to have that perfect morning routine where I take time to meditate, exercise, journal, all that kind of stuff." "My ADHD brain fought me. It would take me so much time to get my mind in the right place." "When you repeat an affirmation to yourself, you are reinforcing your neural pathways and making them stronger." "Every time you repeat an affirmation to yourself, you are stimulating the creation of new neural pathways that promote happiness and positivity in your brain." Resources: Daily affirmation cards download link: https://express-your-wonders.ck.page/a57cf3e85b• Social Media Handles: https://www.instagram.com/express.your.wonders/#• Express Your Wonders Podcast Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2683141258615952---Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning: https://halelrod.com Engage with the entire episode for a deep dive into the empowering world of affirmations with host Bronwyn Corkery. Discover how the simplest acts of self-affirmation can have profound effects on your daily life and stay tuned for more episodes that nourish the soul and stimulate personal growth.

In This Episode, You Will Discover The four quarters method of time management My ADHD twist on the approach 5 powerful ways it can support your ADHD brain to navigate time with greater ease Links From The Podcast Learn more about We're Busy Being Awesome here Learn about 1:1 coaching here Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!) Discover my favorite ADHD resources here Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System here Get the Podcast Roadmap here Get the ADHD Routine Revamp here Learn more about Gretchen Rubin's work here Leave IBBA A Rating & Review! If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people. Go to Apple Podcasts Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews. Simply tap five stars; that's it! Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!

Helloooooo, good human.. I have ADHD. I would have never figured out that I have ADHD without TikTok. If my father was aware of his ADHD, he might not have died. My ADHD diagnosis and treatment might just have saved my life. So, obviously, this episode comes with a big swathe of trigger and content warnings! In it, I am going to share my ADHD story with you, talk you through what ADHD (could) look like and take your hand as we walk through a well-worn journey of diagnosis, identity and what the heck hyperfocus actually is. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast episode is not a diagnostic tool, I am not a medical professional and the things I share with you are not professionally qualified advice. Please seek professional advice and treatment if you feel that your circumstance calls for it. Join The Sunshine Project Facebook community HERE Follow Chloe on TIKTOK and INSTAGRAM Produced by DM PodcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

01:00 Will US attack Iran? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/us-military-fighting-with-militias-in-the-middle/id1442883993?i=1000634788225 22:00 Peter Zeihan: China-US Relations: What Did Xi and Biden Discuss https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-duran-podcast/id1442883993 26:00 Biden's disastrous press conference 38:00 Stephen J James joins 48:00 Describing Dooovid 58:00 My ADHD diagnosis 1:15:00 SJJ feels robbed by covid from sporting success 1:21:00 Where does SJJ get his self-esteem? 1:33:00 Where's Mama JF? Vouch nationalism, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=143499 Do American Conservatives Want Regime Change? And What Would That Look Like?, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=153355 Conservaphobia: https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=144168 Conservative Claims of Cultural Oppression: The Nature and Origins of Conservaphobia, Part Two, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=144294 Conservative Claims of Cultural Oppression: The Nature and Origins of Conservaphobia, Part Three, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=144821 REVIEW: The Star Chamber of Stanford: On the Secret Trial and Invisible Persecution of a Stanford Law Fellow, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=143937 Stanford Star Chamber, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=143824 Reaction to Stanford Star Chamber, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=143994 https://ronyguldmann.com/ Joe Biden's Hero's Journey To Israel And Back, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=153185 Concepts Illuminate & Obscure Reality, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=153136 NBC News: Michael Benz, a conservative crusader against online censorship, appears to have a secret history as an alt-right persona, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=153009 Israel vs Hamas, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=152992 What Makes A Great Pundit?, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=152961 What Happened To Jean-Francois Gariepy's Ex-GF?, https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=152955 * Road to recovery: https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=130767 * Ideas that give me energy: https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=130933 * https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=136900 Our Problems Are Not Our Problems, They're Just Symptoms Of Deeper Problems * https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=136247 With or without you * https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=133894 I'm Dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional: The Recovery Movement and Other Self-Help * https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=133768 Sham: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless * https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=132822 Bypass your self-destructive tendencies * https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=132737 A life that works * https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=130933 Bringing souls out of hiding My best posts: https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=143746

In this episode, Tarah and Barry dive into some deep and interesting questions:How do you tell someone that you dont have the brain power to hang out with them?Hi Tarah and Barry! My name is Caitlin and im from Australia Queensland. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 3. Food is a really hard thing for me because I only see ingredients not meals/snacks. Dinner is especially hard for me. I was wondering, how do you and Barry navigate the tricky task of deciding what to eat, who cooks etc? Have a great day!Hey there, any tips on trying to kick out sugar cravings? My ADHD brain in the morning… Im never eating chocolate again… then my ADHD brain in the evening… "f" it… give it to me!AND... If you want to join a community of other ADHDers and get the support you need then feel free to check out our Neurospicy Family MembershipIf you have any questions or you wanna have one of your ADHD moments featured in one of our future episodes DM us on Instagram @thetarahandbarryshow OR email us at contact@tarahelizabeth.comFollow us on Instagram @thetarahandbarryshowWatch the podcast on YoutubeCheck us out on TiktokJoin the FREE Facebook group

Ever wonder what the differences are between the ways non-Autistic ADHDers and Autistic ADHDers process and move through the world? In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, talk with Dr. Donna Henderson, a non-Autistic, ADHDer psychologist, about her personal experience as an ADHDer, as well as explore the overlap and differences between ADHD and autism. Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode: Understand what life looks like as an ADHDer in regards to things like executive functioning, sensitivity and reactiveness, conversational tempo, working memory, and task switching. Identify the ways Autism and ADHD can influence how we process information and engage in conversations, as well as how this shows up in relationships. Learn about what it really means to do self-care and how to break free from the generic standards of healthy living to act in alignment with what you actually need and want. There is a surprising number of differences between the way Autistic individuals and ADHDers might experience the world. This episode only covers the experience of one ADHDer, so we encourage you to further explore the nuances and diverse perspectives of ADHDers. More about Dr. Donna Henderson: Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage, and she is co-author (with Drs. Sarah Wayland and Jamell White) of two books: Is This Autism? A guide for clinicians and everyone else and Is This Autism? A companion guide for diagnosing. Dr. Henderson's professional home is The Stixrud Group in Silver Spring, Maryland, where she provides neuropsychological evaluations and consultations for children, adolescents, and adults who would like to understand themselves better. She is a sought-after lecturer on the less obvious presentations of autism, autistic girls and women, PDA, and on parenting children with complex profiles. She also provides case consultations and neurodiversity-affirmative training for other healthcare professionals. Dr. Donna Henderson's Website: drdonnahenderson.com  You can grab Dr. Donna Henderson's books here: isthisautism.com Dr. Donna Henderson's Masterclass on PDA (with Neurodivergent Insights): https://learn.neurodivergentinsights.com/pda-masterclass/ (As a listener use “PDA10” to get $10.00 off the Masterclass!   Transcript PATRICK CASALE: So, Megan and I are very excited to introduce our little miniseries within a series about interviewing different neurotypes within the neurodivergent and neurodiversity communities. We want to just put a big, big, big, big disclaimer out there that we understand that by interviewing one person per neurotype there are lots of different perspectives, different experiences, one person does not speak for the entirety of a neurotype. And we just want to really make that clear. But we are really excited today for our guest and our interview with our Ask an ADHDer. And I'm going to turn it over to Megan. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, so likewise, I'm really excited for this series. And I think it's kind of a playful series. And I'm glad you mentioned the disclaimer of, of course, we're not going to nail down all experiences in one interview per neurotype or however many we have. But I cannot think of a better person to be, kind of, getting us started on this process than Dr. Donna Henderson. I am just going to gush over to you for a minute, Dr. Henderson. I hope that's okay with you. I don't like when people gush over me. I hope you have more tolerance for it. DONNA HENDERSON: I have mixed feelings about it. MEGAN NEFF: Okay, we could process that, we have to. I am such a fan of your work, as you know. Dr. Donna Henderson has done a lot in, I would say, advancing the conversation around non-stereotypical autism. She and her co-authors just released two books this summer, Is This Autism? Which is a green book. And then the second one, Clinicians Guide. What's the other book? DONNA HENDERSON: So, they're both called Is This Autism? And the subtitle is different. MEGAN NEFF: The subtitle is different. DONNA HENDERSON: The subtitle of the first one is A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else. And the second one is A Companion Guide for Diagnosing. MEGAN NEFF: Got it. So, if you're a clinician, check out the blue book. And if you're everyone else, check out the green book. Am I oversimplifying? I'm sure I am. DONNA HENDERSON: A little bit because we feel really strong… we wrote them as one book and we were very upset when they had to be divided into two books. But you know, I went way over my word limit. And- MEGAN NEFF: Understandably, it's a complex topic. DONNA HENDERSON: It is. And we really want clinicians to start with the first book because the first book tells you kind of know what to look for. And the second book tells you how to look for it. And if you don't know what to look for, it doesn't matter if you know how to use- MEGAN NEFF: I love that- DONNA HENDERSON: [CROSSTALK 00:02:35], yeah. MEGAN NEFF: Okay, I'm actually so glad, like, that was just a divergent trail based on the introduction. But I'm actually really glad we had that conversation because I've been wondering how to recommend your books. And I've read the green one, not the blue one yet. And I remember thinking like, this is so much helpful information for a clinician in training. I want alternative programs to have your book. So, yes, one of the reasons I love your book and I love you is because I think you're putting… So, Routledge just published it. This is a really academic, solid publisher. I think it's really hard for a medical provider to look at the case you put forward and say this is rubbish. And so that is one of the reasons I'm such a fan of your book is you're taking what is, I would say, known in the autistic community, and really putting kind of a research backbone to it, to where it's going to be hard for the field to continue to depend on stereotypical ideas around autism. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, and that came from, it's the way I structure my reports. I literally use the DSM diagnostic criteria. And people have all kinds of feelings about them but I think if you actually understand the scope of them, and what they really mean, then they do make sense. And they can be very clinically useful. And so when I write a report for somebody who is autistic and has been misunderstood over and over and over again by their health care professionals and everyone else, I literally write how they meet each diagnostic criteria because I want to arm them with that document, so a future healthcare professional can't say, "Well, I don't think you're autistic." Because they have the proof, you know? MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, well, and now you've done that for a wide audience, which is why this is so valuable. Okay, I'm bringing myself back on track. So, other than these fantastic books, like, also, I've been at your trainings, I've heard your trainings, I've posted some of your trainings around PDA, around autism in girls. I know there's a podcast that has, like, gone viral where you walk through the DSM criteria for girls. So, you're well-known in this field as an expert on autism. So, you being on our podcast today is a little bit different because we asked you to come on to speak from your personal experience as an ADHDer. I think it's so interesting, here you are at the forefront, I would say, of the clinical research around autism and you're an ADHDer, which you talk less about. I have heard you talk about it here and there, but I haven't heard you talk about it in depth. So, first, I'm just curious, what is it like to be coming onto a podcast where it's not like ask the expert, it's let's talk to Donna the ADHDer? DONNA HENDERSON: It's a little bit nerve-racking, you know? To do, you know, something more personal, but I ask people to tell me their personal stuff all day, every day. So, turnabout is fair play, I guess. And I think one of the reasons I'm drawn to, you know, studying, and working with, and writing about, and talking about autistic people because what resonates with me is I was misunderstood for so many years. You know, I'm 58 years old. And so I had no hope of being diagnosed as an ADHDer when I was a kid. I was also you know, a girl who, you know, found school to be relatively easy. I messed up a lot, I didn't get the best grades, and all that, but it wasn't super effortful for me. And so I had no hope of being identified. I got identified and diagnosed when I was in my, I think, mid to late 30s. And so I understand, to some extent, at least, what it's like to be misunderstood, and then to internalize all the shame and blame, and to, you know, blame yourself, and be really hard on yourself. And then to have that experience of somebody seeing you and saying, "Actually, this is what's been going on." And how unbelievably life-changing that can be. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. It's so liberating, so liberating. And this is something I think Patrick and I have talked about some, but I'd be curious what some of your internalized labels were? I think different and both shame-based, but I think some of my most, like, just aggressively negative labels I've put on myself is actually more from my ADHD than my autism. Do you feel comfortable sharing what were some of the internalized narratives that came online for you, having been undiagnosed till your thirties? DONNA HENDERSON: Sure. Definitely, when I was younger, like in high school and college, lazy. I knew I was smart, I knew I was capable of, you know, advancing in my academic career, and yet, you know, I avoided hard work, I couldn't sustain attention or effort sometimes. And so, definitely, I thought of myself as lazy. And now I realize I'm absolutely anything but lazy. MEGAN NEFF: Right, when you literally just came out with two books this summer. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, so that's been a big change. But that was, you know, the first half of my life, I definitely thought of myself as lazy. One that I'm still really struggling with is sensitive. I grew up with people constantly saying, "You're so sensitive, you're so sensitive." In a negative way. And I definitely internalized that as something incredibly negative. And now, I definitely still struggle with it and there are many times I wish I was less sensitive, and I get mad at myself for having such big emotional reactions. But at least I understand it's not a character or logical problem, this is my wiring. And that gives me a fighting chance of not, you know, blaming myself at the end of the day. MEGAN NEFF: I love how you word that, not a character or logical, it's my wiring. Okay, so this is going to kind of trail us somewhere. And I'm curious what you mean by sensitivity? Because I know like emotional regulation is harder when we're ADHDers. But also, I'm thinking about like, HSP, highly sensitive person kind of phenotype. Something I see a lot in the autistic community right now are folks saying and I used to say this too, focusing HSP is just a repackaging of autistic traits. I've backed off that because I've now seen and, like one of my kids is an ADHDer who also wouldn't be considered HSP. I'm curious, like, does the HSP, that highly sensitive person, is that part of what you meant by sensitive? Does that fit your experience? DONNA HENDERSON: I read that book so long ago, it's hard to for me to remember. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, it's- DONNA HENDERSON: I could say, I'll sort of make a differentiation, I think. My sensitivity, I would say, most of it, is about me feeling judged or criticized easily. MEGAN NEFF: Okay. So, like rejection sensitivity, emotion regulation sensitivity. DONNA HENDERSON: Yes, exactly- MEGAN NEFF: Okay, cool. No, that's what I was- DONNA HENDERSON: It's very specific to that as opposed to a more general, like I just finished a parent interview this morning about their daughter who, you know, I don't know yet, but I suspect she's autistic. And my gosh, this poor girl is hypersensitive to everything, just everything, throwing out a used crayon, she feels really badly for the crayon, but like, you know, it's so generalized her sensitivity, and you know, sensory stuff, and all of that. I don't experience that level of very generalized sensitivity. For me, it's that specific sort of RSD kind of thing. MEGAN NEFF: I love how you can put words around this stuff. Okay, so sensory, that's a big overlap, but I like how, again, you are… and I feel like another conversations I've had with you it's the globalness of some of the things that distinguish like autism from ADHD. But, yeah, what is your kind of sensory experience of the world? DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, so I think my perspective is that ADHDers and autistic people, one area of overlap with sensory stuff is hyperresponsivity to, you know, all kinds of things. You know, noises, lights, whatever. And I have a little bit of that. It's just a little though it doesn't majorly affect my life. I put on clothes that feel comfortable to me, that may or may not look great. But comfort is the most important thing. If I have to wear something uncomfortable, though, it's not the hugest deal in the world. So, I would call it a minor hypersensitivity. So, as opposed to one of… well, I won't get into that story, never mind. I think that sort of hyperresponsivity is pretty typical in a lot of ADHDers. What I don't see a lot in ADHDers, but I see more in autistic people is hyporesponsivity, being less responsive to internal or external sensations. And I don't see a lot of atypical sensory craving. Sometimes sensation seeking if you have hyperactivity impulsivity, but not atypical sensory craving, like looking objects or smelling objects. That's just not typical. MEGAN NEFF: I love that. Okay. And this is more question for clinical Dr. Henderson. I've often thought hypo responsivity and sensory seeking kind of went together. Like, if someone was hypo, then they might be sensory seeking because they're looking for that additional input. But am I kind of conflating ideas there? DONNA HENDERSON: I mean, I think they can go together, but I think of them as separate things, you know? And when I think of hyporesponsivity, I think of interoception more than any other sensory system really, and like not perceiving, or contextualizing, or understanding, or responding to your internal sensations as much. MEGAN NEFF: So, like, with interoception would you have pretty accurate understanding of what's happening inside your body? DONNA HENDERSON: Me? MEGAN NEFF: Mm-hmm (affirmative.) DONNA HENDERSON: I think so. I mean, when I've learned about it, it never resonated with me, I'm like, "Oh, my God, that explains it." Now my son, who is autistic, he's 22 years old. He has really, really, really low interoceptive awareness. And it's so important, I think, for clinicians and for everybody to understand this because I think people call it denial if they don't understand the physiological basis. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, yeah. DONNA HENDERSON: And I remember once he was in therapy with someone for he has a really bad needle phobia. And this became a crisis when he needed the COVID vaccine, of course, and so he was in in therapy for that. And she was doing a hierarchy, and she had him watch a video of somebody getting a shot. And he literally, like, scooted his chair back, he gasped, he put his hand to his mouth, and she stopped the video and said, "So, you're feeling anxious?" And he said, "No, I'm not." And I think that therapist could mistakenly call that denial, which is a psychological defense mechanism. But no, he genuinely did not realize he was anxious and that's really global for him. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have so many thoughts, but Patrick, I've been hogging the conversation, so… PATRICK CASALE: You can continue to hog it. I'm lost in my own head. So, I'm just paying attention and listening. MEGAN NEFF: Patrick flew yesterday, he traveled yesterday. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, I had at 5:00 AM flight out of California- DONNA HENDERSON: Oh, my God. PATRICK CASALE: Got back to East Coast at 7:30 PM. So, my brain is not online. DONNA HENDERSON: I feel you and I love it [CROSSTALK 00:14:58]. No, I was just going to say that. And you know what, that's something that has evolved for me as an ADHDer. I used to try to hide it a lot more. And now I'll say things like that, you know whether or not I have a good excuse like you do. I'm more willing to say in conversations, you know what? I just completely blanked out for no good reason. I actually really want to hear what you just said. Can you tell me again? And it's sort of freeing to be able to do that and not to constantly feel like I have to pretend I'm paying attention perfectly well all the time. PATRICK CASALE: Megan and I just released our episode on masking. And that is just kind of the definition for me, in regards to communicating how I'm experiencing conversation or social interaction, is just to be like, I'm not really able to follow this or pay attention to this right now. I'm sorry. Like, I'm here, but I'm not here. DONNA HENDERSON: Right. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's a beautiful example of ADHD and masking to be able to own like, I'm sorry, my brain's space off, I do care about you. One, I've been getting more and more requests for resources for ADHD couples. You know, Kate McNulty has a great book for autistic partners. But I am yet to find like a really good book for ADHD partnerships. And I think this sort of thing happens a lot where the ADHD partner, we get distracted or we misplace something significant like keys, and the other partner experiences it as us not caring. DONNA HENDERSON: Yes. MEGAN NEFF: And yes, so I love how you model that ability to be able to say, whether it's to your spouse, or to someone else, like actually, I do care about you, my brain just, you know, went offline for a minute, DONNA HENDERSON: Right, but it's hard because, you know, it takes a lot of self-awareness on everybody's part. And then it takes communication on everybody's part. So, here's an example. I listen late. So, when somebody starts talking to me, it takes me a few seconds to realize, "Oh, this person's talking to me, and I missed the first sentence." Right? And so my husband will walk into my, you know, I'm in my home office now. He'll frequently just walk in and start talking while I'm writing. And then by the time I realize he's talking, I've missed, you know, the important first sentence or two, and then he gets upset. Like, "Hey, how come you don't listen to me?" And so I've had to explain, here's what I need, I need you to walk to me, say my name, and wait for me to look up, and then problem solved, right? MEGAN NEFF: I love that because I feel like that's like advice you give ADHD parents. Like, get their name, get some sort of, like, visual cue. That's been so helpful in my family since discovering, you know, the majority of us are neurodivergent is task-switching language. Like, so if a child now comes up to me because that used to happen a lot with children, I'd be hyper-focused. And I'll now say like, I need three minutes to task switch out of this, and then I'll be able to help you. And to be able to just have that language of like, "Give me a minute to task switch then I can actually take in your words." But yeah, I think that was actually one of our questions we wanted to ask you was around like, task switching, hyper-focus. Sounds like you're- DONNA HENDERSON: Oh, God, switching, it's like my nemesis. I mean, sometimes I switch too easily, right? I'm writing a report, I'm into it, and I'll randomly think, "I should check my email." And then I do. And I realized that that's not, I'm trying not to judge myself too much for that because, as Johann Hari says, in his amazing book on attention, you know, there are 10,000 engineers on the other side of your screen that are doing that to you, right? There are forces that have nothing to do with my ADHD that are pulling my attention in this culture that we're now living in. But yeah, sometimes I switch too easily. And then other times, I can't switch when I want to switch. So, I wish I just had more control over my switching and as a hyperactive type ADHDer, I need a lot of stimulation. So, I tend to jump from one task to another, which is not good, you know? It makes you make mistakes, and makes up less efficient, and is sort of tiring. So, what's a girl to do when she needs a lot of stimulation, and which switch, right? MEGAN NEFF: I call it my tree branch projects where I will like, I'll switch to something because it might be like, I'll check my email, but then, like, will turn into this huge project and like, I'll be five steps over on a project. And like, how did I get on this? Like, why am I making a new landing page with a new… Like, why? Oh, because I checked my email, and that led to this which led to this, which I think I've found ways to structure my life where I have space for tree branch projects, which I've noticed that reduces my executive, like, stress a lot just by having the bandwidth to be able to chase those. But it is really stressful. And it's like, I just want to get this thing done, but I'm five steps over here. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, but what I'm hearing is that you sort of changed the narrative about it. And so it's not necessarily a bad thing when you go off and do a new project. It's a branch of the tree, you know? And every branch has its own place, right? So, just thinking about it differently could be helpful. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. And I think- PATRICK CASALE: And because I think you can- MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, oh go ahead. PATRICK CASALE: Sorry. I think you can get into the narrative, you know, especially, for a lot of ADHDers of like those "tree branch projects" that Megan's referencing as like, "I can't finish anything, I can't follow through with anything. Every time I start something, I diverge somewhere else and that makes me really frustrated with myself." So, just the ability to reframe that and think about it differently. I think, like you're saying, Donna, is super helpful. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, I'm really great at starting things. MEGAN NEFF: This is where I think my autism really helps my ADHD is I typically do finish projects. There's a lot of unfinished projects, but I typically do because the stress of having, like the completionist in me, the stress of it having it incompleted it is too stressful. And I've often wondered, like, how do you all do it? How to ADHDers who don't have the support of autism, like, do it? So, yeah, like finishing tasks, how do you navigate that? DONNA HENDERSON: So, when I'm doing something for other people, it's super helpful, like when other people are counting on me to get something done. MEGAN NEFF: And is the RSD, like, helping with that then? DONNA HENDERSON: For sure, for sure. And I think that's just part of my nature. And you know, what's important to me. Honestly, I get a lot of help. My husband has amazing executive functioning. I have terrible executive functioning. And so he makes a lot of decisions, he does most of our planning, and it works out really, really well for us. And I'm lucky, we didn't know this about each other when we got married, but it's worked out well. And at work, I used to try to manage my own schedule and I was a disaster. I made constant mistakes. I would triple-check something and still get it wrong. And I've just remembered, you know, Bill [INDISCERNIBLE 00:22:31] he wrote some great books. He's my mentor, and I once showed up at his house on a night when there was no meeting, no plan for me to be there. I literally walked in, like, "Hey." And he and his wife looked at me like, "What are you doing here?" I mean, that's how calendar-challenged I am. And so I finally accepted that. And so at work, I now have somebody who manages my schedule. And it takes all of the decision-making and planning off my plate. And I listened to your PDA episode and I heard you, you know, talk about you needing control over your schedule, that's the exact opposite of what I need. I love it when somebody else decides what my schedule will look like. And then I wake up in the morning, and they hand it to me, and I follow it. Yeah. MEGAN NEFF: [CROSSTALK 00:23:23] I wonder if, oh- PATRICK CASALE: Sorry. Well, it's interesting, that's- MEGAN NEFF: I'm curious if that's one of those subtle differences between ADHD and autism. Again, there'll be diversity, but like, yeah, my autistic daughter, it's like, what is the schedule? Let's make it together. Like, there's got to be urgency in creating the schedule. My ADHD is like, "Stop giving me decisions." Like, just give me breakfast. Like, just tell me what to wear. Just tell me what we're going to do today. So, I hadn't thought about that before. But like how we feel about our schedule and who's in control of it [CROSSTALK 00:23:59] subtle. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, it would be an interesting thing to think about. We'd have to sort out the non-PDA autistics from the PDA autistics, of course, and then, so many autistic people also have ADHD. So, it could be messy. But it's an interesting thing to think about, you know. And for me, you know, the important thing is, knowing that about yourself, and trying to set up your life to accommodate that and not judging yourself. Like, I used to get really frustrated with myself for being so bad at planning, and scheduling, and all that. And now it's another one of those things I can own and say, "Yeah, I'm terrible at that, and that's okay. I'm going to get help. You know? MEGAN NEFF: And that's the nice thing is if there's a lot- PATRICK CASALE: That was actually going to be my question.  MEGAN NEFF: Oh, go ahead. PATRICK CASALE: It's great, Megan and I are going to do this a lot today. That was going to be my question that you just answered Donna, was like, was there shame, and guilt, and frustration building up when, and initially it was like, why can't I do this? Why is this so challenging for me? DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, yeah, and I just kept thinking, "Donna, come on, concentrate, concentrate, you know, stop being so distracted." And get so mad at myself. And obviously, it's embarrassing too, you know, walking into somebody's house and just, you know, the million and one times I just screwed up my schedule. And now I have to laugh at myself and I have to be okay. Dina Gassner said something really, really smart, wise, wise to me, once. Dina is an autistic researcher. And she wrote one of the forwards for one of my books, and she said, "The goal for any of us isn't independence, it's interdependence. It's understanding all the ways that you do and inevitably will depend on other people." And that's okay, right? MEGAN NEFF: I love that, I love that. Yeah, especially, in psychology, there's a lot of focus on the individual. And I'm writing a book right now, Self-care for Autistic People, just kind of funny because I have a weird relationship to the term self-care because I feel like so much pop psychology is self-care, but without that interpersonal relational lens that, like, we are interdependent. Like, we have always been, modernity gives us the illusion we're not. But we do best when we're actually supporting kind of interdependence. DONNA HENDERSON: Right, absolutely, yeah. I'm glad you're writing that book. I knew you were working on something. I didn't know it was that and I'm tired of all the self-care advice being exercise more, eat right, get enough sleep. Like, of course, those things are important, of course, they are. But you know, there's so much more to it than that. And those things are so hard for so many people, right? MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. For both ADHDers and autistic people, right? Like, if you think about the executive functioning that goes into any of those tasks you just listed. DONNA HENDERSON: Right, right, yeah. MEGAN NEFF: So, like… DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, I'm going to try to think about how to say this without outing somebody. So, I have a challenging relationship with someone in my life who is not an immediate family member. And that person says hurtful things to me. And for years, I have then immediately, without thinking about it reacted and said things that I regret because I don't want to be hurtful or disrespectful, and also, because it just feels crappy when you lose it a little bit and say things you regret. And I've been working on paying attention to what's happening in my body when that person says hurtful things. And so, you know, recently that person said something hurtful, and I was able to just notice, oh, my heart rate just escalated. Wow, like, I hear sort of a whooshing sound in my ears, my muscles just tensed and I feel like I'm preparing for a fight. And I was aware of my body. And because I could do that, it allowed me the three seconds of grace I needed to not just say something, but to respond in a way that I was proud of. And to me, that's sort of the beginning of self-care, to be able to notice what the heck is happening with your own body, right? MEGAN NEFF: I love that. I love how you connected that, like, having that internal narrator of like I'm naming and narrating and, like, I sometimes call that self-attunement because we're attuning to ourselves. I love thinking about that as the basis of self-care. And I steal that from my book. I love that idea so much. DONNA HENDERSON: Absolute, yeah. And I'm sure I'm not the first person who made that connection. But when I think about self-care, yeah, but I love that phrase. That's the first step is you have to be attuned to what's going on with yourself, you know, before you can do anything else, you have to know you're tired before you try to get some sleep. You have to know you're hungry before you try to put some food in your body. It's pretty basic, MEGAN NEFF: Which gets back to that entire assumption, if it's not basic then nothing about self-care is basic, yeah. DONNA HENDERSON: Right, that's true. MEGAN NEFF: Can I… I don't know why I'm asking permission to diverge [INDISCERNIBLE 00:29:36]. DONNA HENDERSON: I know, right? MEGAN NEFF: Because I'm very cognizant of like, I feel like I'm talking a lot, but there's one piece I want to make sure I get on our conversation today. And this is a conversation, I don't know if you remember us having it. It was probably one of the first or second times you and I had met. So, there's this term context blindness. I don't like the term myself. I prefer, like, I'll talk about out high context communication that gets into anthropology, which is confusing, need for high context communication. But there's a conversation where I asked, like, I was saying how, you know, someone asked me like, what's my favorite book? I really struggle with this. Do you remember this conversation? DONNA HENDERSON: No, I don't. MEGAN NEFF: And okay, so I asked you, and I was saying how like, I would struggle with that because I'd be thinking about what bucket are we talking about? Are we talking about psychology buckets? Are we talking about fantasy books? Like, how do I possibly pick one favorite book? What's the context? And what you said, you were like, "Well, for me, if my neighbor was asking it, like this book would pop in my head. Whereas if I was at work, this book will pop in my head." And I remember asking you, "Like, you mean, you're not analytically like sifting through all that." And that was such an aha moment for me around, there's definitely something different for an ADHDer who's not also autistic around intuitively, I guess, picking up context cues would be the way to say that. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah. So, my friend, Dr. Amara Brooke, who's a psychologist- MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, she's great. DONNA HENDERSON: Do you know… yeah, well, she once in a conversation with me called it context independence. So, I liked it. MEGAN NEFF: Oh, I like that term. DONNA HENDERSON: Right. It was too late, the book had already gotten to press. I couldn't stick it in the book. But I liked it. It's context independence, right? MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, because it doesn't depend on the context. I'm not going to change my authentic self based on the context. DONNA HENDERSON: Right, right. And so there's no right or wrong. There's two different ways of, sort of, moving through the world. And for non-autistic people, for the most part, well, everybody has top-down and bottom-up processing, right? So, I'm going to oversimplify, but for most non-autistic people, the top-down processing is prioritized. And so we take the context first. And here's the key, that happens for us subcortically, automatically, within milliseconds without our awareness. It just- MEGAN NEFF: And it's not through the prefrontal cortex, right? DONNA HENDERSON: Correct. It's subcortical, right? Correct. There's no awareness, there's no effort the overwhelming majority of the time. It just happens like magic, right? MEGAN NEFF: It's so [INDISCERNIBLE 00:32:25]. DONNA HENDERSON: But for most autistic people, there's more of a bottom-up processing where you have to take in all the details, get all the details, and sort of build up to the big picture from there. And, again, not better or worse, but there are different advantages and disadvantages to each style. And a huge, huge disadvantage to the context-independent style, the autistic style, is the time, and energy, and effort that it takes to move through all of that information when you're under pressure to respond to somebody, right? And so often, I get, you know, referrals for kids, or adolescents, or adults where everybody is saying, "We think they have slow processing speed." But on testing, their processing speed is just fine because testing does not require context. So, it's working tempo, it's conversational tempo that you might need extra time to build up to figure out the context. Does that make sense? MEGAN NEFF: Totally, yeah. I see something similar that often autistic people are deep processors, not slow processor. Like, we're processing so much so deeply that it takes more time. Yeah, absolutely. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, for sure, for sure. Especially, compared to, you know, a hyperactive impulsive style ADHDer like me, we tend to be fast, and, you know, I don't always go as deep. I'm capable of going as deep. But as I move through my day, it's not my natural way of being. MEGAN NEFF: So, in my first Venn diagram was putting autism and ADHD together. I put high-context communication in the middle because I talk with a lot of ADHDers where it feels like they share a lot of context to get to what I think neurotypical people might call the point. Like, how would you categorize that in the top down, bottom down? Or is that totally unrelated? And also, do you also observe that in ADHDers or on also autistic kind of a high context way of sharing stories or divergent to the point. DONNA HENDERSON: In the people I've known who are most context-independent or in the traditional term, you know, have the most context blindness, I haven't noticed, like, it would be interesting for me to go back and look how many of them also had ADHD, right? I think I might do that because that would be very, very interesting. And I've lost track of your question now. MEGAN NEFF: I love that. DONNA HENDERSON: I have no working memory. MEGAN NEFF: Like, if high context communication or like, in telling a story needing to share a lot of context, if that feels like an ADHD thing, or, again, maybe [CROSSTALK 00:35:20]- DONNA HENDERSON: No. MEGAN NEFF: …autism, that doesn't feel like maybe it's too- DONNA HENDERSON: No, to me that feels like if you don't intuitively have the context of what your listener already knows and actually needs to know or wants to know, you're at risk of giving too many details or too few details, right? And that happens sometimes too. MEGAN NEFF: All the time. Like, I do this, I hear this all the time. I either I'm sharing not enough or too much. Like magical Goldilocks of just enough information. DONNA HENDERSON: And to me as a non-autistic ADHDer, that's very intuitive. Like, how much detail to give someone in any given moment, and I'm not saying I, you know, get it right 100% of the time, obviously, but for the most part, it's pretty intuitive and easy for me to know that. And I've never had like a complaint about that. MEGAN NEFF: That's fascinating. I did think that was kind of an ADHD thing to, like, share long-winded, verbose stories that diverged all over the place. But that's really interesting to hear you say that. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, I think ADHDers, you know, sometimes we maybe talk a lot, or can be interrupting, or maybe go a little bit off-topic, but to have a pattern of providing too much what we would call irrelevant detail because that's really what you're talking about. I don't personally see that as an ADHD thing. It's not for me, it's not something I've noticed in my clients. PATRICK CASALE: Sometimes I wonder if that being an autistic trait, if it's also because you're trying so hard to read the other person's body language and facial expressions of how are they reacting to said information. And if I'm not getting the reaction that I think I should be getting, then I'm offering more and more and more information. And then I get lost in that explanation. And then I'm like, "Did that even make sense?" And the person is like, "No, I didn't track that at all." My wife will look at me and be like, "Why are you telling me all of this?" I'm like, "I was trying to figure out where the reaction was to what I was saying, and then, ultimately, I get lost in that." DONNA HENDERSON: And would it like feel natural for you or not to just like, what I would do in that moment is say, I can't read your reaction or I'm not sure if you want to hear more about this. Like, I would check in with the person verbally. PATRICK CASALE: No, I don't think that comes to mind immediately for me, when I'm in a conversation like that. I think it's just like, I get this anxious process that comes over me where I'm like, "Oh, my God, I don't know where to go from here. And now I feel trapped in this conversation." DONNA HENDERSON: And I wonder if that's, you know, partially just non-autistic conversations not being intuitive for you, and partially just having had bad experiences with conversations in the past, then they bring out that anxiety. And, like, so I don't happen to have either of those differences. And so for me, if I'm in a conversation, and I feel like wait, we're having a disconnect, the most natural thing is to be like, "Hey, I think we might be having a disconnect. What's going on? Like, what do you want? Do you want me to talk more or less? What's happening?" PATRICK CASALE: Save me a lot of time connecting. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah. MEGAN NEFF: And I do that too, Donna. And I think I've trained myself, like I have developed a hypervigilance, and I think this is part of autistic ADHD masking, a hypervigilance to other people. So, for me, like, gaining psychological safety in conversation is knowing what's happening. So, I'll do a lot of like, "Okay, what's happening here?" The only therapists that I've actually worked well with was someone who was willing to do interpersonal work with me because I don't feel psychologically safe in a conversation unless I can check in with the other person and get an honest answer about what they're experiencing in that moment. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. And I think I've heard similar, you know, experiences from quite a lot of autistic people, late diagnosed autistic people, in particular, yeah, yeah. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. Okay, small talk. Like, I've heard you talk about bread crumbs. You pick them up, like do you like small talk? Do you tolerate small talk? Like, I know you're good at it. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah. So, I have to tell you this story. Sorry, I'm going to take a drink of water first. Sorry about that. So, I have a colleague who is autistic. And his name is Eric. And we've worked together for over a decade. And we work very well together. And I walked into his office one morning, I was in a big hurry. And I said, "Hey, the client you're seeing today…" And then I caught myself and said, "I'm sorry, that was so rude of me, how was your weekend?" And he laughed, and he was like, "Seriously, I do not need you to ask me about my weekend. I do that for you guys, meaning all of us non-autistic colleagues. And I'm good if we never ever do that again." And to be clear, like, I think Eric and I like really like each other and work very, very well together. But he's like, "There's no need to get into any of those social niceties." So, that was probably two, maybe three years ago. I cannot tell you how hard it is for me to like, engage my prefrontal lobe and stop my natural way of interacting when I see him and not say, "Hey, what's new? How's your daughter? What's going on? You're taking a vacation this summer?" It's so hard. MEGAN NEFF: But you're putting on a break to not do that. Like, for me and I think for Patrick, it's like forcing myself. It's like, I have to hit the gas to get myself to ask those damn questions that I really don't like. But for you, it's like putting on a break, it's holding something back. DONNA HENDERSON: That's exactly right. And I feel like it gives me this tiny little window into what it must be like to be autistic and to have to be, like, very aware in the moment of this is what my urge is to do in this situation. But this is what I must do if I want this situation to be comfortable for the other person. It's hard. And I only have one person I do that with. MEGAN NEFF: That's such a great example of the double empathy problem of like this two-way street of like, it's just a different cultural reference of how we're communicating. I had never thought about small talk that way as like, hard to hold it back. I have a lot more empathy all of a sudden for people. DONNA HENDERSON: Well, but most of us don't hold it back, right? I mean, it's just sort of unnatural. Like, if I see one of my neighbors, I'm like, I will cross the street in order to just make small talk for five or 10 minutes because for me, that's very… Patrick's laughing. PATRICK CASALE: [CROSSTALK 00:42:17] right now with my neighbor trying to do that to me the other day and me pretending not to hear them, and like getting in my car, and like backing out the driveway looking at them in the eye like… MEGAN NEFF: I literally cross the road. Like, if I see someone I'm I going to cross, I will cross the road, but I'll do it soon enough, so it doesn't look like I'm doing it to avoid them. But I will cross the road even to avoid eye contact. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, yeah. MEGAN NEFF: Like, just to avoid, like, any sensory experience of interacting with another human body. DONNA HENDERSON: All right, so I know you're supposed to be asking me questions. But may I ask you guys a question about this? MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, absolutely. DONNA HENDERSON: So, with my son, and he wouldn't mind me saying this, you know, as a non-autistic person, one of the ways I feel connected with other people is by connecting verbally, by talking. And it's not always deep and important. A lot of times it's, "So, what you're doing tonight? How was your day?" And kind of stuff, which is like the absolute last thing in the world he ever wants to do. And so the only way I've ever figured out of really connecting with him is to sort of go entirely to where he is. He loves military history, so like to go to a battlefield with him, to go to a battle reenactment with him, which is like my idea of hell. But I do it because like, that's… but I don't know, like how to bridge the gap so it's not, you know, one way or the other way, but that we can build some connection. You know what I mean? MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely. First of all, I love that as a parent you're doing that. You're entering into their, I call it special interests, like our ecosystems, that you're entering into his ecosystem. Because you're right, like Patrick and I have talked about this a lot of, if you want to get access to the inner world of an autistic person, like entering through special interests. And I think a lot of parents who are trying to figure out how to connect with their autistic kids, I think that's often what they're doing. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah. MEGAN NEFF: But yeah, it'd be nice for you not to have to go to like a historical event to connect with your son. And so, yeah, I think talking about it, like, and I don't know if there's a way of like talking about it without doing it. But that's often how, even if it's just to warm up the conversation, right? Because the questions are like, "What are you doing tonight?" Like, to me, that would be a sensory demand. But if the conversation has been warmed up through a special interest and then if we're able to then link to other things that, yeah, I think about it as a warm-up. And again, from a nervous system lens of like, if it's just a question that's invoking a deep response, that's a demand, my nervous system isn't warmed up for social interaction. But if it's been kind of melted and warmed through talking about something of interest, and then diverging to something that might feel more connecting for both of you, that's one approach I take. I don't know, Patrick, do you have thoughts on that? PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, I think that for people in my life, where I don't necessarily have safety, or I can be my true self around them, then that small talk, that demand, I'm going to shoot it down pretty quickly. And that's probably where I would really appreciate, you know, moving into the conversation through even a subset of the special interests or just something in general, that felt much more interest-focused. But for people who I have regular contact with, like, several of my best friends, my wife, etc., like, there's definitely small talk that goes on just because the relationship feels safe. And I also understand that that's what they need in a lot of ways in order to have some sort of reciprocity in the relationship. So, I'm not like freely giving it out, I'm not going out of my way to have it. But I'm certainly much more amenable to that. If my mom wants to call me right now. And like, say, "Hey, how was your weekend? How was your birthday?" I'd be like, "It was fine. It was fine." But it's just a very different relationship for me. So, I do think it matters for me, specifically, on the relationship, on the context of the relationship too, and the safety that has already been established in terms of just communication. And I think it's complicated. Like, there are definitely times where my wife is asking me questions. And I'm like, "I don't want to have like the small talk conversation with you right now". And I will be able to name that. Megan's been able to name that with me before when I said, "Hey, Megan, how was your day?" And she's like, "Stop asking me that." So, I think it's about being able to also ask for what you need in that moment. Like, hey, stop asking me that because that's not helpful here. This isn't where you have to interact that way, that's really helpful for me." DONNA HENDERSON: Right, right. And for me as a non-autistic person, it's also, I'm working on not thinking of there being a right way and a wrong way to interact. And it's really hard for me, it's really hard, yeah. PATRICK CASALE: For sure. MEGAN NEFF: It's hard to not think there's a right and a wrong way. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah, I think my way is the right way. MEGAN NEFF: No, and don't we all as humans, too. DONNA HENDERSON: Sure, sure, yeah. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. I'm like looking at the clock and now I'm feeling pressure of like, we should have some profound ending, I should have some profound question. Like, what is your favorite part about being an ADHDer? Or what is the hardest part? I don't know [CROSSTALK 00:47:56]- DONNA HENDERSON: I want to bring something, yeah- MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, go ahead. DONNA HENDERSON: No, there's no pressure because we're just going to do our awkward goodbye in a minute and it'll be excellent. But I want to bring up one thing that I wonder about is a difference, and obviously, everybody's an individual, but working memory, I think about. I've met so many autistic people who don't have ADHD, who have absolutely phenomenal working memory. Like, phenomenal working memory. MEGAN NEFF: Yes. DONNA HENDERSON: And I as an ADHDer have, like, absolutely terrible, terrible working memory. And for those of your listeners who aren't super familiar, I tell kids, it's the blackboard in your brain where you can write something down while you're working on it. And I write in disappearing ink on my blackboard. MEGAN NEFF: Same. DONNA HENDERSON: And, you know, one thing I've noticed, just with family members who have great working memories, they think a lot about the past and the future. And I am almost incapable of thinking about the past and the future. I just am very much in the moment and that leads to my difficulty with planning. And it's good and bad, right? They are so much better than I am at planning because they can hold the future in their brains. And, you know, think of different scenarios and choose the best scenario, which is very hard for me to do, but they also obsess a lot about the past and the future, which I don't tend to do. So, it's just something I've thought about as a difference. MEGAN NEFF: And that like, and I don't love this. I think, in general, we're going to find ways of moving away from ableist language but time blindness is how, like, that's often referred about of just the here and the now. And I love how you both see like what it gives you, but also what it takes from you, right? There is less of that obsessive. I think I've noticed that, too. I hadn't connected the obsessive tendency toward, you're right, that lack of lack of time blindness, but like that ability to perceive the future and the past definitely leaves us vulnerable. Somehow I managed to have both. I both struggle with time perception and my working memory is terrible. But I also do think a lot about the future and the past. DONNA HENDERSON: Well, maybe my theory is wrong, then. MEGAN NEFF: Well, I mean, maybe it's part of being an autistic ADHDer, maybe there's, yeah. DONNA HENDERSON: Yeah. MEGAN NEFF: Do you do both Patrick? PATRICK CASALE: I obsess about the past and the future constantly. And I'm a really good planner. I mean, I'm planning entire events, and retreats, or things that feel very natural to me. I really struggle moment to moment working memory where I will forget what I'm doing during the day all the time. I'll forget like, why I went down to the kitchen for something. I will forget like the three things that are in my mind that if I don't write them down immediately or respond to immediately they'll be gone. But everything else is constantly obsessing, and thinking about, and analyzing, and processing all the different alternative outcomes, so quite exhausting. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, that's my experience too, what you just described. DONNA HENDERSON: As a non-autistic ADHDer, like, everything you just, I can't relate to that, that constantly, like planning, and obsessing, and running scenarios that you're… I'm like, "Oh, God, make it stop." Like, I just don't do that, which it's a blessing and a curse, right? PATRICK CASALE: For sure. And, you know, I've said it very often that I wish I could just turn it all off. Like, I wish I could just stop it. And yeah, definitely, it's exhausting. DONNA HENDERSON: It sounds exhausting. PATRICK CASALE: And on that really negative note, this has been fun. DONNA HENDERSON: I'll give you a quick positive, I don't want to end on a negative. Do I have time to do a quick positive- PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, sure, absolutely. DONNA HENDERSON: …so we don't end up… So, I tried stimulant medication a little bit over the past year, which I haven't really done in the past. And it really worked well for me in that it took away the urge to constantly move. I was able to sit still. I was able to get so much work done. But then I inevitably ended up with like a headache or my neck would be stiff, or my back would hurt. And I finally realized and I changed my internal narrative, my body is helping me out by wanting to move all the time. That's what my body needs. And I just need to lean into that and not try to fight who I am and my wiring. PATRICK CASALE: I love that. MEGAN NEFF: I love that. I love thinking through like, yeah, the ways your body and these things we call symptoms are actually working for you, and helping you out, and telling you what you need, yeah. PATRICK CASALE: Absolutely, yeah. Well, this has been a lot of fun and I wish that… I'm surprised like the hour went like that. And it was really, really great to have this conversation. I feel like we could have continuations of this for sure and go down so many different, like, areas and different perspectives. So, thank you so much for coming on and just sharing some of your story, too. DONNA HENDERSON: Well, thank you so much for having me. I agree, it went quickly and it was a lot of fun. PATRICK CASALE: Megan, you any got anything before I awkwardly sign us off? MEGAN NEFF: This is the part I get really awkward at. I'm so glad you came on Donna. Like, this has been, like, so fun to have this kind of hybrid clinical personal conversation. And thank you for your vulnerability. I know it is different to bring our lived experience to the conversation, especially, as clinical psychologists. We're kind of taught not to do that. So, thank you for being willing to do that. PATRICK CASALE: Totally. So, for everyone listening to the Divergent Conversations Podcast, new episodes are out every single Friday on all major platforms and YouTube. You can like, download, subscribe, and share. And Donna just made me realize while I was saying that we didn't give you any opportunity to share where they can find more of your work too. So, please feel free to- DONNA HENDERSON: Oh, okay. PATRICK CASALE: …share that as well. We'll put it in the show notes. DONNA HENDERSON: That would never have occurred to me actually. I'm the worst with that. My website is drdonnahenderson.com. And the website for the books is isthisautism.com. PATRICK CASALE: Perfect. All of that will be in the show notes so everyone has easy access as well. And now I don't know what else to say, so goodbye.

I just spent the weekend moving to another state! I knew I was moving, but I didn't know where I was going for sure until about a week ago. My ADHD brain loves novelty, adventure, and change, so it's been a fun experience!   I chose the place I moved to because of a certain program they have there. As part of this program, I've been plugged into a network with a bunch of other people who are also part of the program. There are organized activities, workshops, social events, etc. It really reinforced how important groups are in our lives.   In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm talking with Jeff Fullington about the intersection of neurodivergence and mental health. His belief, which I obviously share, is that one of the best ways we can protect our mental health (and that of our kids) is to be part of groups of others who are 'like us', whatever that means to us.    It's why Facebook groups are such a big thing. It's why we congregate around religious and political groups. It's why we have such things as school pride and team spirit. All these 'groups' make us feel like we belong. Like we are a part of something.   Here's a clip from this week's episode:   We need that access to our peers for our development. We need to be able to mirror and see ourselves in each other and learn from each other in a way that we can't from an 'out' group. But I would say that applies to any group. I would say autistic people need to be around other autistic people and learn from them and teach like we, it's a mutual process. Men need groups where men can reflect and understand each other. Women need women's groups, different cultures need their groups. So I would, I would say that what I found with the gifted program would apply to any group. So if, if the younger you can get that, the more it's gonna feed into your social development. And a lot of people that come to me, it may be the first time in their life they're meeting other gifted people or other autistic people. Or it's the first time in their life that, as a man, they can come and talk with other men about the things that are important to them. And so it's stuff that could have happened at a younger age had they had those opportunities, but it's happening as an adult, but it's not that different from what a kid would be getting if he'd, like what your program is doing, which I think is fantastic. That's exactly what I think, not only for neurodivergence, but for every identity out there. The more they can access the peers specific to that identity, the more that part of them is going to grow and develop than if they had to do it alone. You can find Jeff at www.satyrsgrove.com

Yeong does:- Empowerment coaching - how to navigate marginalizing spaces and workplaces. DEI coaching and strategy - harm reduction and how to build inclusive orgs and practices. Tech and partnership strategy, orgdev, scaling thoughtfully. DM to learn more (My ADHD prevents me from building a website... despite having built one for my nonprofit lol)   Learn how to work with Angela: AngelaHan.com  

In this episode of the It's Not About The Money podcast (formerly the In Her Financial Shoes podcast) I am sharing my personal journey to receiving an ADHD diagnosis and how to manage your money when you have ADHD. My ADHD journey has been one of the hardest things that I have had to go through in a really long time. It has been a really emotional process and I hope that by sharing my story, it will help others who are exploring their own diagnosis. As part of my diagnosis journey, I have also done a lot of research to further understand and support neurodiversity in our communities, continuing to build on our mission of making 1 million women financially resilient.    In this episode:  What is ADHD and why I decided to obtain a diagnosis How ADHD can present differently in childhood and adulthood Why Neurodiversity and trauma are often linked Successful ways to manage money when neurodiverse Systems to put in place around money and administration   Resources: Get my FREE book 'It's Not About The Money' Take the Money StoryTypes® Quiz Join Catherine's FREE Facebook Group 'The Wealthy Women Community' Catherine's YouTube Channel Connect with Catherine on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook Find out about our Wealthy Woman School® Listen again - How To Manage Money in Business When You Have ADHD

Having ADD or ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Hear from people all around the globe, from every walk of life, in every profession, from Rock Stars to CEOs, from Teachers to Politicians, who have learned how to unlock the gifts of their ADD and ADHD diagnosis, and use it to their personal and professional advantage, to build businesses, become millionaires, or simply better their lives.   Our Guest today:  Morgan Hancock is a commercial Real Estate Agent, Entrepreneur, US Army Veteran, Mother-of-two, “Bourbonista” , and passionate advocate of the Arts. She is a charismatic force who can completely capture a room, radiating positivity with a disarming demeanor and sharp sense of humor. Growing up as an only child in a small town, Morgan spent much of her time alone reading, writing, and creating. With an overactive imagination and natural talent, art became an early passion. Taking an atypical path to her current success, Morgan has never let her context stand in the way of her ambition. She believes that art, like life, is only limited by your imagination, and it's up to you to create your own world. Morgan created Bourbon with Heart as a way to leverage the influence and popularity of Bourbon, in order to raise funds, bring awareness, educate, provide better access and deliver a first-class Arts experience to every person in Kentucky! Regardless of age, race, class, gender, or ability.  About the company: Bourbon with Heart is Kentucky's first & only arts-focused bourbon charity. Bourbon with Heart's (501c3) mission is to leverage the influence and popularity of Bourbon to raise funds, bring awareness, educate, provide better access and deliver a first-class arts experience to every person in Kentucky regardless of age, race, class, gender, or ability. This interview was a blast! [Ed: and made my Producer/Editor a little emotional]. Enjoy and thanks so much for subscribing to Faster Than Normal!  [you are now here ]  00:40 - Thank you again so much for listening and for subscribing! 02:00 - Introducing and welcome Morgan Hancock, Founder & Director Bourbon with Heart, Inc.  02:33 - Thank you for your Service! [And to all of you who served- your family too if applicable!] 03:25 - On service and Peter's training. “My ADHD probably would have been I would have served me well to have been in some branch of the military, just for the discipline” -ps 04:17 - What's it like to be ADHD and in place w/ such discipline, such rigid controls; like the Army? 04:24 - And... we're now flying over Giza!  Ref:  https://www.instagram.com/p/B34UmeQlZE_/ 05:09 - When were you diagnosed? 06:04 - A little of Morgan's backstory 07:09 - On The Military  08:02 - On becoming a very young mother  09:03 - On parenting, and a couple of exciting childhoods 11:12 - Ok, I wanna know about Bourbon with Heart?! 12:53 - How's your company doing? 14:17 - Peter's toughest day in Louisville… almost a decade ago 15:05 - What if any advice would you have for your younger self? 16:27 - This was fantastic.. thank you Morgan. Please stay in touch! 17:01 -  How do our spectacular subscribers find out more about you?  Web:   https://bourbonwithheart.org  Email: BourbonWithHeart@gmail.com Socials:  @bourbonwithheart on INSTA  YouTube and Facebook 17:11 - Thank you so much for making time for all of us today Morgan!! 17:18 - Hey, you there! Yes YOU! We are thrilled that you are here & listening!  ADHD and all forms of Neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI My link tree is here if you're looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman 17:24 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits. Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you'd like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We'd love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!  [ Ed: This is a relatively brand new experiment in editing show notes, transcriptions sort of; so if you notice any important, or significant goofs we've missed here or along, please do let us know @FasterNormal  Thanks! -sb]  — TRANSCRIPT via Castmagic.io and then corrected.. somewhat, (Ooh-ooh! Third and likely final trial run is today May 30, 2023. #gen_AI_for_whut?? Peter Shankman [00:00:40]: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to their episode of faster than normal. How about we raise a glass of bourbon today? I don't actually well, that's not true. I've had bourbon. I like bourbon, but like most things, I rarely drink anymore, because, as we know, I don't just have one drink. Peter Shankman [00:00:58]:  We are talking today on this gorgeous day I'm recording on a Thursday. I'm doing all my recordings on a Thursday this week, and it's it's beautiful out. It's it's about 68 degrees in New York. It's sunny and a cloud in the sky. It's a gorgeous day, and I'm inside recording all day. And this Saturday, it's going to be raining into the 40s. It's like god's personal gag reel. I just don't I don't understand the universe sometimes. Anyway, we have a fun guest on faster than normal day. We are talking to Morgan Hancock. Morgan Hancock is a plethora of things. I believe that everyone should make it an effort to use the word plethora at least once a day. Morgan includes you. I want you to start using the word plethora. Morgan [00:01:39]: At least I use it five times a day. Peter Shankman [00:01:40]: There you go. I like her! Morgan is a commercial real estate agent. She's an entrepreneur. She's an Army veteran. She's a mother of two. She's a get this “Bourbonista”, okay, which has to be my new favorite word. And she's a passionate advocate of the arts. She launched something called bourbon with heart. It's Kentucky's first and only arts focused bourbon charity. Bourbon with heart's mission is to leverage the influence and popularity of bourbon to raise funds, bring awareness, educate, provide better access, and deliver a first class arts experience to every person in Kentucky, regardless of age, race, class, gender, or ability. I absolutely love that. As a public school kid who grew up in the performing arts, I think that is hands down, one of the coolest things I've ever heard. Oh and by the way, Morgan also has massive ADHD. Welcome to the show. We're thrilled to have you. Morgan [00:02:33]: Thank you. And let me we started by saying we are Kentucky's first and only arts focused bourbon charity. But pretty sure we could just claim the world because I'm almost 100% certain nobody in the world has an Arts focused Bourbon charity. Peter Shankman [00:02:52]: I'm pretty sure I've never heard of one. I haven't been looking, but I'd be willing to bet that you're probably right on that. I'm talking to Morgan today and she's has her camera on. I'm looking in the background. She has this gorgeous her desk is full of stuff and she has this gorgeous collection of color swatches adorning her wall where normal in any other room it would be at a place. For some reason, it just seems to fit her style. She looks awesome as she's talking to us and it just seems to work. So, welcome to the podcast. We're thrilled to have you here. First question I got to ask you. So you're an army vet? Thank you for your service. Number one.But more importantly, let's talk about I've Often said that looking back on it. My ADHD probably would have been I would have served me well to have been in some branch of the military. Just for the discipline. Because when I was in my late.Twenty s, I met a former Navy.Seal who was teaching a boot camp class in New York City. Come to New York, he lived in Houston, came New York four times a year for two weeks at a time, and taught a boot camp class.And it was basically like being in the field for two straight weeks every Morning for two weeks. And I remember, granted, it was only 2 hours a day as opposed to in your aspect, 24/7, but the discipline that he required from us has stuck with me to this day. He's the reason I'm early. Everywhere I go, he's the reason that I'm not on time, I'm early and things like that So I don't know if you were Diagnosed by the time you entered the army, but let's first and foremost talk About what it's like to be in A place with such discipline and such rigid controls. Like the army, like the military, with ADHD. Morgan [00:04:24]:  Okay, well, first, it's a little awkward to people that can't see. So I'm just talking to you while you're jumping out of a plane in. Peter Shankman [00:04:33]: Egypt over the pyramids of Giza.Yes. Morgan [00:04:35]: So I've never interviewed with someone who's actually in the air over Giza. This is school for the people listening. His camera is not live right now, so he has the placeholder photo, which is him, skydiving or parasailing, I can't tell in Egypt. So I feel like that's I'm interviewing with him while he's doing that. I feel like really boring over here right now. Peter Shankman [00:05:07]:  Not at all! Morgan [00:05:09]: So, to answer your question, I wasn't diagnosed by that time. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 31. And I'm 37 almost, will be in a couple of months. My personality, if that's what you call it, did not do well in the military. I was constantly in trouble. I got transferred. I'll just say I got kicked out of a platoon, put in a different platoon. I was always on the verge of being written up for different issues. Bu. I made it. I served my time. I got honorable discharge. I made it. But I don't suggest it. The military as a place for people. Peter Shankman [00:05:56]: With ADHD, why were you constantly getting written up? Was it lack of attention? Was it lack of focus? What was causing it? Morgan [00:06:04]: Yeah, all the above and just kind of my whole life struggling with authority or any type of rigid systems and structured and just always kind of bouncing all over the place and kind of always being the class clown type, which really doesn't go over in the military. They just don't have a good sense of humor, I'll say that. Peter Shankman [00:06:36]: So basically your time in the military was like my time in school. Morgan [00:06:39]: Yeah, if you were a class clown, then yeah, I just tried to be a class clown in the military, and drill sergeants don't appreciate that. There's not like a superlative or you can win class clown. There's awards, honors and medals, but not for class clown and not for the funniest. Peter Shankman [00:07:00]: You got through it, though, right? Was there a point where you realized, gee, maybe I should shut up. Maybe I should stop making jokes? Morgan [00:07:09]: Yeah, because my arts and legs would hurt because of the punishments. And then because they do mass punishment. Peter Shankman [00:07:22]: Everyone had to do it. Morgan [00:07:23]: And you were getting trouble. Yeah, I thought, maybe I shouldn't do this, but then it's like I just couldn't resist either, so I just stayed in trouble and just don't recommend that's really my review of being in the military. Peter Shankman [00:07:44]: But you did it. You got through it. You got through it. Congratulations.     Morgan [00:07:47]: I did it, yeah. By the skin of my teeth, I got out of there. Peter Shankman [00:07:52]: So talk about; your an Army veteran, and prior to that you had a kid. Morgan [00:08:02]: Yeah, so I was 15 with my first son. I have two. One is 20 years old now. So it's crazy because we grew up together, and then I have a 13 year old, so I got pregnant with my second son also while I was in the military. I had one before I joined and than the second one during. Peter Shankman [00:08:30]: Are you married? Are you single? Morgan [00:08:32]: I'm not married, but not single. What do you call that? Peter Shankman [00:08:37]: Cohabitation? Doesn't matter. I guess the question I was going to ask is, what is it like raising a kid, a, when you're young. And by that, I mean, I've raised my Daughter when I've had ADHD, but I also had her at almost 40 years old. Right. So I had a little more life experience under my belt. What was that like for you? What were some of the, I guess, difficulties that you had to go through? I can't imagine anyone having a kid at 15, bet it wasn't easy, but what was it like for you? Morgan [00:09:03]: Right. I know it couldn't have been easy. If you just look at the facts of it, there's no way it could have been easy, but it's weird because honestly, sometimes it's just hard to remember. I think also when you're young, you just don't think about things being hard, you just do them and you just don't think, oh, this is now. If I had to do it now, I'd be like moaning and groaning, complaining about every step of the way. But I think when you're young, you're different. Maybe you're just a little more adaptable. But he had to go on some wild rides with me. I was always kind of rebelling or doing things against the norm and having a new phase or interest every other month or couple of months. So he definitely did not have a traditional upbringing. I pulled him out of school for many years to do homeschooling, if that's what you call it. I don't know how you exactly define homeschooling. We weren't in school. We'll say that. Peter Shankman [00:10:16]: It sounds like it was interesting, though, for him. It sounds like it was never boring. Morgan [00:10:19]:  Oh, no, definitely not. I think it was called ‘unschooling' at that time, and it was just the reason I did that is because school just wasn't beneficial to me. If anything, it felt a lot like wasted time. And he was also just a very passionate person like me. And so I just knew that school in a lot of ways was going to hold him back the way I felt it did for me. So he really didn't go to school most of his life, and I don't have any regrets of that decision. I think he's one of the most mature, just turned 20 year olds than I know. He pays all his own bills. He has a fantastic job making more than most 40 year olds I know. Peter Shankman [00:11:12]: Yeah, I want to talk about Bourbon with heart. So a nonprofit to help the arts is always an amazing thing!! I mean, I'm on the board of a couple of them here in New York, but why bourbon? What's your connection to bourbon other than Kentucky? Morgan [00:11:31]: Well, if you live in Kentucky, as you said, you can't help but be impacted by bourbon. It's a huge part of our culture, of our economy. I love bourbon. I've been a fan of bourbon since well, I can't say how long, because we'll just say since I legally could be. And bourbon in Kentucky has this kind of incredible power to people really unite around it, because, as I said, it is a culture and it brings people together. And there's this bond than bourbon forms, and art does the same thing. Art unites people and brings people together. And one thing that people, everyone in the world knows Kentucky is the leader of the bourbon industry, but people don't realize we have a really rich and thriving arts culture in Kentucky and a ton of talent. So we took bourbon with heart, got them as a way to leverage that existing popularity and influence of bourbon to then bring the awareness and educate people and raise funds for the local art scene. And it's working. Peter Shankman [00:12:53]: How is it working? Morgan [00:12:54]: It's working because it has been met with so much support and enthusiasm. I mean, people just naturally when we launched this, I did not expect the rapid success and for everyone to just be so to just embrace it with open arms. I mean, corporations, our local businesses, the distilleries, the media, the artists in our community, and everyone just has embraced us with open arms and everyone's all of a sudden, wow, art and bourbon was such a natural marriage. And so many things are just growing from this initial concept. We're on our fourth exhibit this year. We're already over $100,000 that we've raised this year. And we have some really huge partnerships coming with big community players coming up in the coming years or next year. It's bringing people together that you would not typically see in the same room. And that's a beautiful thing. And let me also I don't know if you mentioned this, but yes, we raise funds and we raise awareness for the local arts community, but we raise funds for other local nonprofits. So we've given away almost $45,000 to other nonprofits that aren't arts related. Peter Shankman [00:14:12]: Very cool. That's a phenomenal what a cool concept. Marrying the two. You wouldn't really think it's funny but, I want to say I have a love hate relationship with Kentucky, but primarily just a hate relationship. In 2014, I ran the Louisville Ironman and it was the last year they ever did it in the summer because the starting temperature was 104 degrees and it was hands down the most painful and difficult Iron Man Triathlon I've ever done in my life. And I remember being back at the airport after it was over and saying, I am never I don't even want to fly over Louisville. It was so hot and so miserable. But I got through it. And the people there were wonderful as they rescued my dehydrated ass from nearly dying. So great people, but your weather sucks ass. Morgan [00:15:03]: That being said, I agree. Peter Shankman [00:15:05]: What a cool concept and I'm so glad we took the time. Let me ask you one final question, Morgan. Let's say you're walking down the street and you come across a 15 year old who is much like you were at 15, undiagnosed ADHD, school, bores her. Things really, aren't you're not really seeing what's out there and you want more. You just don't know how to get it. What do you tell her? Morgan [00:15:27]:  You're not going to find it in that boy. Start with that. That's probably what she's needing to hear at than point that's honestly one of the main things. And then just chase your passions because basically what I've had to do. All the energy that fuels and drives me now to make me successful in these endeavors. Bourbon with heart. It's really kind of the same energy that got me in trouble in the past. I just learned how to harness it for more positive, socially acceptable, not self damaging things. I would tell them to take that energy and harness it. They can still let it all out, but harness it for something that's not going to get you in trouble. Peter Shankman [00:16:25]:  I love that. Morgan Hancock, this was an honest pleasure. Thank you so much. I'd love to have you back at some point. Morgan [00:16:31]: Thank you. Thank you. Peter Shankman [00:16:32]: Awesome guys. As always. Faster Than Normal is for you. We want to know who you want to hear other really cool people like Morgan. Send us a note. I am Peter@shankman.com. I am at Peter Shankman on all the Socials except Twitter. I don't use it anymore because it's evil. At FasterNormal everywhere as well, including instagram. Everywhere. Everywhere in the world that social media exists except Twitter. We will be back next week with another awesome episode and another awesome guest just like Morgan. Oh, Morgan! How can people find you?! Morgan [00:17:01]: 17:01 -  How do our spectacular subscribers find out more about you? Web:   https://bourbonwithheart.org  Email: BourbonWithHeart@gmail.com Socials:  @bourbonwithheart on INSTA  YouTube and Facebook Peter Shankman [00:17:11]: Very cool guys. We will see you next week. As always, thanks for listening. ADHD is a gift, not a curse. All neurodiversity is amazing. You're not broken, you're brilliant. See you next week. — Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

My ADHD diagnosis was the missing puzzle piece for our family. ~ Robyn Buchanan During this episode Robyn Buchanan and I have a fun conversation about what creativity is and why the ADHD divergent brain is so good at it. WE TALK ABOUT: ✔️Out of the box creative ways of thinking and problem solving ✔️Creativity is so much more than the visual and performing arts ✔️How we can start using our ADHD brains more creatively ✔️Robyn's hilarious YouTube channel @minimalisthome *If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Screenshot the episode on your device, post it on your Facebook profile and tag me @tracynolinbeerman ………….. GUEST RESOURCES Robyn Buchanan is a mom, wife, nurse, youtube creator, and Life & Focus coach. Robyn, her husband and 2/3 of her teen boys have ADHD which is a unique experience unto itself. Despite being the person who TRIES to keep it all together, she was diagnosed in her 40s. She loves harnessing her ADHD for creativity, but finds it's a lot of work each day to keep herself on track, yet she manages to run her business and household with not too many balls being dropped. She lives on Vancouver Island in Canada where she loves hiking and gardening. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@minimalisthome Website: www.RobynBuchanan.com ………….. ADHD SUPPORTS GUIDE www.visiondrivenmom.com/adhdsupports ………….. VISION DRIVEN MOM WITH ADHD RESOURCES Share: #visiondrivenmompodcast Website: http://www.visiondrivenmom.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visiondrivenmom/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visiondrivenmomwithadhd ………….. SUBSCRIBE Apple | Google | Spotify | iHeart | Audible | Stitcher If you're enjoying the podcast, subscribe, rate and review it in iTunes. It's one of the best ways you can help new listeners find us.

About EmilyEmily Ruppe is a Solutions Engineer at Jeli.io whose greatest accomplishment was once being referred to as “the Bob Ross of incident reviews.” Previously Emily has written hundreds of status posts, incident timelines and analyses at SendGrid, and was a founding member of the Incident Command team at Twilio. She's written on human centered incident management and facilitating incident reviews. Emily believes the most important thing in both life and incidents is having enough snacks.Links Referenced: Jeli.io: https://jeli.io Twitter: https://twitter.com/themortalemily Howie Guide: https://www.jeli.io/howie/welcome TranscriptAnnouncer: Hello, and welcome to Screaming in the Cloud with your host, Chief Cloud Economist at The Duckbill Group, Corey Quinn. This weekly show features conversations with people doing interesting work in the world of cloud, thoughtful commentary on the state of the technical world, and ridiculous titles for which Corey refuses to apologize. This is Screaming in the Cloud.Corey: This episode is sponsored by our friends at Logicworks. Getting to the cloud is challenging enough for many places, especially maintaining security, resiliency, cost control, agility, etc, etc, etc. Things break, configurations drift, technology advances, and organizations, frankly, need to evolve. How can you get to the cloud faster and ensure you have the right team in place to maintain success over time? Day 2 matters. Work with a partner who gets it - Logicworks combines the cloud expertise and platform automation to customize solutions to meet your unique requirements. Get started by chatting with a cloud specialist today at snark.cloud/logicworks. That's snark.cloud/logicworksCorey: Cloud native just means you've got more components or microservices than anyone (even a mythical 10x engineer) can keep track of. With OpsLevel, you can build a catalog in minutes and forget needing that mythical 10x engineer. Now, you'll have a 10x service catalog to accompany your 10x service count. Visit OpsLevel.com to learn how easy it is to build and manage your service catalog. Connect to your git provider and you're off to the races with service import, repo ownership, tech docs, and more. Corey: Welcome to Screaming in the Cloud. I'm Corey Quinn. My guest today is Emily Ruppe, who's a solutions engineer over at Jeli.io, but her entire career has generally focused around incident management. So, I sort of view her as being my eternal nemesis, just because I like to cause problems by and large and then I make incidents for other people to wind up solving. Emily, thank you for joining me and agreeing to suffer my slings and arrows here.Emily: Yeah. Hey, I like causing problems too. I am a solutions engineer, but sometimes we like to call ourselves problems engineers. So.Corey: Yeah, I'm a problems architect is generally how I tend to view it. But doing the work, ah, one wonders. So, you are a Jeli, where as of this recording, you've been for a year now. And before that, you spent some time over at Twilio slash SendGrid—spoiler, it's kind of the same company, given the way acquisitions tend to work and all. And—Emily: Now, it is.Corey: Yeah. Oh, yeah. You were there during the acquisition.Emily: Mm-hm. Yes, they acquired me and that's why they bought SendGrid.Corey: Indeed. It's a good reason to acquire a company. That one person I want to bring in. Absolutely. So, you started with email and then effectively continued in that general direction, given the Twilio now has eaten that business whole. And that's where I started my career.The one thing I've learned about email systems is that they love to cause problems because it's either completely invisible and no one knows, or suddenly an email didn't go through and everyone's screaming at you. And there's no upside, only down. So, let me ask the obvious question I suspect I know the answer to here. What made you decide to get into incident management?Emily: [laugh]. Well, I joined SendGrid actually, I've, I love mess. I run towards problems. I'm someone who really enjoys that. My ADHD, I hyperfocus, incidents are like that perfect environment of just, like, all of the problems are laying themselves out right in front of you, the distraction is the focus. It's kind of a wonderful place where I really enjoy the flow of that.But I've started in customer support. I've been in technical support and customer—I used to work at the Apple Store, I worked at the Genius Bar for a long time, moved into technical support over the phone, and whenever things broke really bad, I really enjoyed that process and kind of getting involved in incidents. And I came, I was one of two weekend support people at SendGrid, came in during a time of change and growth. And everyone knows that growth, usually exponential growth, usually happens very smoothly and nothing breaks during that time. So… no, there was a lot of incidents.And because I was on the weekend, one of the only people on the weekend, I kind of had to very quickly find my way and learn when do I escalate this. How do I make the determination that this is something that is an incident? And you know, is this worth paging engineers that are on their weekend? And getting involved in incidents and being kind of a core communication between our customers and engineers.Corey: For those who might not have been involved in sufficiently scaled-out environments, that sounds counterintuitive, but one of the things that you learn—very often the hard way—has been that as you continue down the path of building a site out and scaling it, it stops being an issue relatively quickly of, “Is the site up or down?” And instead becomes a question of, “How up is it?” So, it's it doesn't sound obvious until you've lived it, but declaring what is an incident versus what isn't an incident is incredibly nuanced and it's not the sort of thing that lends itself to casual solutions. Because every time a customer gets an error, we should open an incident on that. Well, I've worked at companies that throw dozens of 500 errors every second at their scale. You will never hire enough people to solve that if you do an incident process on even 10% of them.Emily: Yeah. So, I mean, it actually became something that when you join Twilio, they have you create a project using Twilio's API to earn your track jacket, essentially. It's kind of like an onboarding thing. And as they absorbed SendGrid, we all did that onboarding process. And mine was a number for support people to text and it would ask them six questions and if they answered yes to more than two of them, it would text back, “Okay, maybe you should escalate this.”And the questions were pretty simple of, “Can emails be sent?” [laugh]. Can customers log into their website? Are you able to view this particular part of the website? Because it is—with email in particular, at SendGrid in particular—the bulk of it is the email API. So, like, the site being up or down was the easiest type of incident, the easiest thing to flex on because that's so much easier to see.Being able to determine, like, what percentage or what level, like, how many emails are not processing? Are they getting stuck or is this, like, the correct amount of things that should be bouncing because of IP reput—there's, like, a thousand different things. We had kind of this visualization of this mail pipeline that was just a mess of all of these different pipes kind of connected together. And mail could get stuck in a lot of different places, so it was a lot of spending time trying to find that and segwayed into project management. I was a QA for a little while doing QA work.Became a project manager and learned a lot about imposing process because you're supposed to and that sometimes imposing process on teams that are working well can actually destroy them [laugh]. So, I learned a lot of interesting things about process the hard way. And during all of that time that I was doing project management, I kind of accidentally started owning the incident response process because a lot of people left, I had been a part of the incident analysis group as well, and so I kind of became the sole owner of that. And when Twilio purchase SendGrid, I found out they were creating an incident commander team and I just reached out and said, “Here's all of SendGrids incident response stuff. We just created a new Slackbot, I just retrained the entire team on how to talk to each other and recognize when something might be an incident. Please don't rewrite all of this to be Twillio's response process.”And Terry, the person who was putting together that team said, “Excellent. You're going to be [laugh] welcome to Twilio Incident Command. This is your problem and it's a lot worse than you thought because here's all the rest of it.” So yeah, it was really interesting experience coming into technically the same company, but an entirely different company and finding out—like, really trying to learn and understand all of the differences, and you know, the different problems, the different organizational history, the, like, fascia that has been built up between some of these parts of the organization to understand why things are the way that they are within process. It's very interesting.And I kind of get to do it now as my job. I get to learn about the full organizational subtext of [laugh] all of these different companies to understand how incident response works, how incident analysis works, and maybe some of the whys. Like, what are the places where there was a very bad incident, so we put in very specific, very strange process pieces in order to navigate that, or teams that are difficult to work with, so we've built up interesting process around them. So yeah.Corey: It feels like that can almost become ossified if you're not careful because you wind up with a release process that's two thousand steps long, and each one of them is there to wind up avoiding a specific type of failure that had happened previously. And this gets into a world where, in so many cases, there needs to be a level of dynamism to how you wind up going about your work. It feels almost like companies have this idealized vision of the future where if they can distill every task that happens within the company down to a series of inputs and responses—scripts almost—you can either wind up replacing your staff with a bunch of folks who just work from a runbook and cost way less money or computers in the ultimate sense of things. But that's been teased for generations now and I have a very hard time seeing a path where you're ever going to be able to replace the contextually informed level of human judgment that, honestly, has fixed every incident I've ever seen.Emily: Yeah. The problem comes down to in my opinion, the fact that humans wrote this code, people with specific context and specific understanding of how the thing needs to work in a specific way and the shortcomings and limitations they have for the libraries they're using or the different things are trying to integrate in, a human being is who's writing the code. Code is not being written by computers, it's being written by people who have understanding and subtext. And so, when you have that code written and then maybe that person leaves or that person joins a different team and they focus and priorities on something else, there is still human subtests that exists within the services that have been written. We have it call in this specific way and timeout in this specific amount of time because when we were writing it, there was this ancient service that we had to integrate with.Like, there's always just these little pieces of we had to do things because we were people trying to make connections with lines of code. We're trying to connect a bunch of things to do some sort of task, and we have a human understanding of how to get from A to B, and probably if A computer wrote this code, it would work in an entirely different way, so in order to debug a problem, the humans usually need some sort of context, like, why did we do this the way that we did this? And I think it's a really interesting thing that we're finding that it is very hard to replace humans around computers, even though intellectually we think, like, this is all computers. But it's not. It's people convincing computers to do things that maybe they shouldn't necessarily be doing. Sometimes they're things that computers shouldn't be doing, maybe, but a lot of the times, it's kind of a miracle [laugh] that any of these things continue to work on it on a given basis. And I think that it's very interesting when we, I think, we think that we can take people out of it.Corey: The problem I keep running into though, the more I think about this and the more I see it out there is I don't think that it necessarily did incident management any favors when it was originally cast as the idea of blamelessness and blameless postmortems. Just because it seems an awful lot to me like the people who are the most advocate champions of approaching things from a blameless perspective and having a blameless culture are the people who would otherwise have been blamed themselves. So, it really kind of feels on some broader level, like, “Oh, was this entire movement really just about being self-serving so that people don't themselves get in trouble?” Because if you're not going to blame no one, you're going to blame me instead. I think that, on some level, set up a framing that was not usually helpful for folks with only a limited understanding of what the incident lifecycle looks like.Emily: Mmm. Yeah, I think we've evolved, right? I think, from the blameless, I think there was good intentions there, but I think that we actually missed the really big part of that boat that a lot of folks glossed over because then, as it is now, it's a little bit harder to sell. When we're talking about being blameless, we have to talk about circumventing blame in order to get people to talk candidly about their experiences. And really, it's less about blaming someone and what they've done because we as humans blame—there's a great Brené Brown talk that she gives, I think it's a TED talk about blame and how we as humans cannot physically avoid blaming, placing blame on things.It's about understanding where that's coming from, and working through it that is actually how we grow. And I think that we're starting to kind of shift into this more blame-aware culture. But I think the hard pill to swallow about blamelessness is that we actually need to talk about the way that this stuff makes us feel as people. Like feelings, like emotions [laugh]. Talk about emotions during a technical incident review is not really an easy thing to get some tech executives to swallow.Or even engineers. There's a lot of engineers who are just kind of like, “Why do you care about how I felt about this problem?” But in reality, you can't measure emotions as easily as you can measure Mean Time to Resolution. But Mean Time to Resolution is impacted really heavily by, like, were we freaking out? Did we feel like we had absolutely no idea what we were trying to solve, or did we understand this problem, and we were confident that we could solve it; we just couldn't find the specific place where this bug was happening. All of that is really interesting and important context about how we work together and how our processes work for us, but it's hard because we have to talk about our feelings.Corey: I think that you're onto something here because I look back at the key outages that really define my perspective on things over the course of my career, and most of the early ones were beset by a sense of panic of am I going to get fired for this? Because at the time, I was firmly convinced that well, root cause is me. I am the person that did the thing that blew up production. And while I am certainly not blameless in some of those things, I was never setting out with an intent to wind up tiering things down. So, it was not that I was a bad actor subverting internal controls because, in many companies, you don't need that level of rigor.This was a combination of factors that made it easy or possible to wind up tiering things down when I did not mean to. So, there were absolutely systemic issues there. But I still remember that rising tide of panic. Like, should I be focused on getting the site backup or updating my resume? Which of these is going to be the better longer-term outcome? And now that I've been in this industry long enough and I've seen enough of these, it's, you almost don't feel the blood pressure rise anymore when you wind up having something gets panicky. But it takes time and nuance to get there.Emily: Yeah. Well, and it's also, in order to best understand how you got in that situation, like, were you willing to tell people that you were absolutely panicked? Would you have felt comfortable, like, if someone was saying like, “Okay, so what happened? How did—walk me through what you were experiencing?” Would you have said like, “I was scared out of my goddamn mind?”Were you absolutely panicking or did you feel like you had some, like, grasping at some straws? Like, where were you? Because uncovering that for the person who is experiencing that in the issue, in the incident can help understand, what resources did they feel like they knew where to go to. Or where did they go to? Like, what resource did they decide in the middle of this panicked haze to grasp for? Is that something that we should start using as, “Hey, if it's your first time on call, this is a great thing to pull into,” because that's where instinctively you went?Like, there's so much that we can learn from the people who are experiencing [laugh] this massive amount of panic during the incident. But sometimes we will, if we're being quote-unquote, “Blameless,” gloss over your entire, like, your involvement in that entirely. Because we don't want to blame Corey for this thing happening. Instead, we'll say, “An engineer made a decision and that's fine. We'll move past that.” But there's so much wealth of information there.Corey: Well, I wound up in postmortems later when I ran teams, I said, “Okay, so an engineer made a mistake.” It's like, “Well, hang on. There's always more to it than that”—Emily: Uh-huh.Corey: —“Because we don't hire malicious people and the people we have are competent for their role.” So, that goes a bit beyond that. We will never get into a scenario people do not make mistakes in a variety of different ways. So, that's not a helpful framing, it's a question of what—if they made a mistake, sure, what was it that brought them to that place because that's where it gets really interesting. The problem is when you're trying to figure out in a business context why a customer is super upset—if they're a major partner, for example—and there's a sense of, “All right, we're looking for a sacrificial lamb or someone that we can blame for this because we tend to think in relatively straight lines.”And in those scenarios, often, a nuanced understanding of the systemic failure modes within your organization that might wind up being useful in the mid to long-term are not helpful for the crisis there. So, trying to stuff too much into a given incident response might be a symptom there. I'm thinking of one or two incidents in the course of my later career that really had that stink to them, for lack of a better term. What's your take on the idea?Emily: I've been in a lot of incidents where it's the desire to be able to point and say a person made this mistake is high, it's definitely something that the, “organization”—and I put the organization in quotes there—and say technical leadership, or maybe PR or the comms team said like, “We're going to say, like, a person made this mistake,” when in reality, I mean, nine times out of ten, calling it a mistake is hindsight, right? Usually people—sometimes we know that we make a mistake and it's the recovery from that, that is response. But a lot of times we are making an informed decision, you know? An engineer has the information that they have available to them at the time and they're making an informed decision, and oh, no [laugh], it does not go as we planned, things in the system that we didn't fully understand are coexisting, it's a perfect storm of these events in order to lead to impact to this important customer.For me, I've been customer-facing for a very long time and I feel like from my observation, customers tend to—like if you say, like, “This person did something wrong,” versus, “We learned more about how the system works together and we understand how these kind of different pieces and mechanisms within our system are not necessarily single points of failure, but points at which they interact that we didn't understand could cause impact before, and now we have a better understanding of how our system works and we're making some changes to some pieces,” I feel like personally, as someone who has had to say that kind of stuff to customers a thousand times, saying, “It was a person who did this thing,” it shows so much less understanding of the event and understanding of the system than actually talking through the different components and different kind of contributing factors that were wrong. So, I feel like there's a lot of growth that we as an industry can could go from blaming things on an intern to actually saying, “No, we invested time and understanding how a single person could perform these actions that would lead to this impact, and now we have a deeper understanding of our system,” is in my opinion, builds a little bit more confidence from the customer side.Corey: This episode is sponsored in part by Honeycomb. I'm not going to dance around the problem. Your. Engineers. Are. Burned. Out. They're tired from pagers waking them up at 2 am for something that could have waited until after their morning coffee. They're fed up with relying on two or three different “monitoring tools” that still require them to manually trudge through logs to decipher what might be wrong. Simply put, there's a better way. Observability tools like Honeycomb show you the patterns and outliers of how users experience your code in complex and unpredictable environments so you can spend less time firefighting and more time innovating. It's great for your business, great for your engineers, and, most importantly, great for your customers. Try FREE today at honeycomb.io/screaminginthecloud. That's honeycomb.io/screaminginthecloud.Corey: I think so much of this is—I mean, it gets back to your question to me that I sort of dodged was I willing to talk about how my emotional state in these moments? And yeah, I was visibly sweating and very nervous and I've always been relatively okay with calling out the fact that I'm not in a great place at the moment, and I'm panicking. And it wasn't helped in some cases by, in those early days, the CEO of the company standing over my shoulder, coming down from the upstairs building to know what was going on, and everything had broken. And in that case, I was only coming in to do mop-up I wasn't one of the factors contributing to this, at least not by a primary or secondary degree, and it still was incredibly stress-inducing. So, from that perspective, it feels odd.But you also talk about ‘we,' in the sense of as an industry, as a culture, and the rest. I'm going to push back on that a little bit because there are still companies today in the closing days of 2022 that are extraordinarily far behind where many of us are at the companies we work for. And they're still stuck in the relative Dark Ages technically, were, “Well, are VMs okay, or should we stay on bare metal?” Is still the era that they're in, let alone cloud, let alone containerization, let alone infrastructure as code, et cetera, et cetera. I'm unconvinced that they have meaningfully progressed on the interpersonal aspects of incident management when they've been effectively frozen in amber from a technical basis.Emily: Mmm, I don't think that's fair [laugh].Corey: No. Excellent. Let's talk about that.Emily: [laugh]. I think just because an organization is still, like, maybe in DCs and using hardware and maybe hasn't advanced so thoroughly within the technical aspect of things, that doesn't necessarily mean that they haven't adopted new—Corey: Ah, very fair. Let me add one point of clarification, then, on this because what I'm talking about here is the fact there are companies who are that far behind on a technical basis, they are not necessarily one and the same, too—Emily: Correct.Corey: Because you're using older technology, that means your processes are stuck in the past, too.Emily: Right.Corey: But rather, just as there are companies that are anxious on the technology basis, there are also companies who will be 20 years behind in learnings—Emily: Yes.Corey: —compared to how the more progressive folks have already internalized some of these things ages ago. Blamelessness is still in the future for them. They haven't gotten there yet.Emily: I mean, yeah, there's still places that are doing root cause analysis, that are doing the five whys. And I think that we're doing our best [laugh]. I mean, I think it really takes—that's a cultural change. A lot of the actual change in approach of incident analysis and incident response is a cultural change. And I can speak from firsthand experience that that's really hard to do, especially from the inside it's very hard to do.So luckily, with the role that I'm in now at Jeli.io, I get to kind of support those folks who are trying to champion a change like that internally. And right now, my perspective is just trying to generate as much material for those folks to send internally, to say like, “Hey, there's a better way. Hey, there's a different approach for this that can maybe get us around these things that are difficult.” I do think that there's this tendency—and I've used this analogy before—is for us to think that our junk drawers are better than somebody else's junk drawers.I see an organization as just a junk drawer, a drawer full of weird odds and ends and spilled glue and, like, a broken box of tacks. And when you pull out somebody else's junk drawer, you're like, “This is a mess. This is an absolute mess. How can anyone live like this?” But when you pull out your own junk drawer, like, I know there are 17 rubber bands in this drawer, somehow. I am going to just completely rifle through this drawer until I find those things that I know are in here.Just a difference of knowing where our mess is, knowing where the bodies are buried, or the skeletons are in each closet, whatever analogy works best. But I think that some organizations have this thought process that—by organizations, I mean, executive leadership organizations are not an entity with an opinion, they're made up of a bunch of individuals doing [laugh] the work that they need to do—but they think that their problems are harder or more unique than at other organizations. And so, it's a lot harder to kind of help them see that, yes, there is a very unique situation, the way that your people work together with their technology is unique to every single different organization, but it's not that those problems cannot be solved in new and different ways. Just because we've always done something in this way does not mean that is the way that is serving us the best in this moment. So, we can experiment and we can make some changes.Especially with process, especially with the human aspect of things of how we talk to each other during incidents and how we communicate externally during incidents. Those aren't hard-coded. We don't have to do a bunch of code reviews and make sure it's working with existing integrations to be able to make those changes. We can experiment with that kind of stuff and I really would like to try to encourage folks to do that even though it seems scary because incidents are… [unintelligible 00:24:33] people think they're scary. They're not. They're [unintelligible 00:24:35].Corey: They seem to be. For a lot of folks, they are. Let's not be too dismissive on that.Emily: But we were both talking about panic [laugh] and the panic that we have felt during incidents. And I don't want to dismiss that and say that it's not real. But I also think that we feel that way because we're worried about how we're going to be judged for our involvement in them. We're panicking because, “Oh no, we have contributed to this in some way, and the fact that I don't know what to do, or the fact that I did something is going to reflect poorly on me, or maybe I'm going to get fired.” And I think that the panic associated with incidents also very often has to do with the environment in which you are experiencing that incident and how that is going to be accepted and discussed. Are you going to be blamed regardless of how, quote-unquote, “Blameless,” your organization is?Corey: I wish there was a better awareness of a lot of these things, but I don't think that we are at a point yet where we're there.Emily: No.Corey: How does this map what you do, day-to-day over at Jeli.io?Emily: It is what I do every single day. So, I mean, I do a ton of different things. We're a very small startup, so I'm doing a lot, but the main thing that I'm doing is working with our customers to tackle these hurdles within each of their organizations. Our customers vary from very small organizations to very, very large organizations, and working with them to find how to make movement, how to sell this internally, sell this idea of let's talk about our incidents a little bit differently, let's maybe dial back some of the hard-coded automation that we're doing around response and change that to speaking to each other, as opposed to, we need 11 emails sent automatically upon the creation of an incident that will automatically map to these three PagerDuty schedules, and a lot more of it can be us working through the issue together and then talking about it afterwards, not just in reference to the root cause, but in how we interfaced: how did it go, how did response work, as well as how did we solve the problem of the technical problem that occurred?So, I kind of pinch myself. I feel very lucky that I get to work with a lot of different companies to understand these human aspects and the technical aspects of how to do these experiments and make some change within organizations to help make incidents easier. That's the whole feeling, right? We were talking about the panic. It doesn't need to be as hard as it feels, sometimes. And I think that it can be easier than we let ourselves think.Corey: That's a good way of framing it. It just feels on so many levels like this is one of the hardest areas to build a company in because you're not really talking about fixing technical, broken systems out there. You're talking about solving people problems. And I have some software that solves your people problems, I'm not sure if that's ever been true.Emily: Yeah, it's not the software that's going to solve the people problems. It's building the skills. A lot of what we do is we have software that helps you immensely in the analysis process and build out a story as opposed to just building out a timeline, trying to tell, kind of, the narrative of the incident because that's what works. Like anthropologically, we've been conveying information through folklore, through tales, telling tales of things that happened in order to help teach people lessons is kind of how we've—oral history has worked for [laugh] thousands of years. And we aren't better than that just because we have technology, so it's really about helping people uncover those things by using the technology we have: pulling in Slack transcripts, and PagerDuty alerts, and Zoom transcripts, and all of this different information that we have available to us, and help people tell that story and convey that story to the folks that were involved in it, as well as other peoples in your organization who might have similar things come up in the future.And that's how we learn. That's how we teach. But that's what we learn. I feel like there's a big difference—I'm understanding, there's a big difference between being taught something and learning something because you usually have to earn that knowledge when you learn it. You can be taught something a thousand times and then you've learned that once.And so, we're trying to use those moments that we actually learn it where we earn that hard-earned information through an incident and tell those stories and convey that, and our team—the solutions team—is in there, helping people build these skills, teaching people how to talk to each other [laugh] and really find out this information during incidents, not after them.Corey: I really want to thank you for being as generous with your time as you have been. And if people want to learn more, where's the best place to find you?Emily: Oh. I was going to say Twitter, but… [laugh].Corey: Yeah, that's a big open question these days, isn't it? Assuming it's still there by the time this episode airs, it might be a few days between now and then. Where should they find you on Twitter, with a big asterisk next to it?Emily: It's at @themortalemily. Which, I started this by saying I like mess and I'm someone who loves incidents, so I'll be on Twitter [laugh].Corey: We're there to watch it all burn.Emily: Oh, I feel terrible saying that. Actually, if any Twitter engineers are listening to this, someone is found that the TLS certificate is going to expire at the end of this year. Please check Twitter for where that TLS certificate lives so that you all can renew that. Also, Jeli.io, we have a blog that a lot of us write, our solutions team, we—and honestly a lot of us, we tend to hire folks who have a lot of experience in incident response and analysis.I've never been a solutions engineer before in my life, but I've done a lot of incident response. So, we put up a lot of stuff and our goal is to build resources that are available to folks who are trying to make these changes happen, who are in those organizations where they're still doing five whys, and RCAs, and are trying to convince people to experiment and change. We have our Howie Guide, which is available for free. It's ‘How We Got Here' which is, like, a full, free incident analysis guide and a lot of cool blogs and stuff there. So, if you can't find me on Twitter, we're writing… things… there [laugh].Corey: We will, of course, put links to all of that in the [show notes 00:30:46]. Thank you so much for your time today. It's appreciated.Emily: Thank you, Corey. This was great.Corey: Emily Ruppe, solutions engineer at Jeli.io. I'm Cloud Economist Corey Quinn, and this is Screaming in the Cloud. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please leave a five-star review on your podcast platform of choice, whereas if you've hated this episode, please leave a five-star review on your podcast platform of choice, along with an angry comment talking about how we've gotten it wrong and it is always someone's fault.Corey: If your AWS bill keeps rising and your blood pressure is doing the same, then you need The Duckbill Group. We help companies fix their AWS bill by making it smaller and less horrifying. The Duckbill Group works for you, not AWS. We tailor recommendations to your business and we get to the point. Visit duckbillgroup.com to get started.

My ADHD mind loves beginning the new year with a reset. ~ Tracy Nolin Beerman An ADHD Reset experience that is...https://www.visiondrivenmom.com/adhdreset During this episode Krista Lockwood interviews me on her podcast, Motherhood Simplified. We talk about the ADHD Reset experience in depth as well as all the reasons you're going to want to be there. *If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Screenshot the episode on your device, post it on your Facebook profile and tag me @tracynolinbeerman ………….. GUEST RESOURCES Krista Lockwood teaches moms how to declutter without becoming a full blown minimalist by finding the balance of having enough stuff, but not so much it's overwhelming. The Emotional Impact Of Clutter And The ADHD Mind (10 most listened to Vision Driven Mom With ADHD episodes in 2022): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emotional-impact-of-clutter-and-the/id1540806660?i=1000588283995 Website: https://motherhoodsimplified.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/motherhood_simplified Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2010014145929427 Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/motherhood-simplified/id1439617120 Clear Your Clutter Toolkit: https://motherhoodsimplified.com/Cyc-feature Decluttering Bundle: Toys/Clothes/Paper Decluttering Courses (15% off for listeners) https://motherhoodsimplified.lpages.co/toy-clothes-and-paper-tracy/ ………….. ADHD SUPPORTS GUIDE www.visiondrivenmom.com/adhdsupports ………….. VISION DRIVEN MOM RESOURCES Share: #visiondrivenmompodcast Website: http://www.visiondrivenmom.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visiondrivenmom/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visiondrivenmomwithadhd MUST HAVE SUPPORTS FOR MOMS WITH ADHD guide www.visiondrivenmom.com/adhdsupports ………….. SUBSCRIBE Apple | Google | Spotify | iHeart | Audible | Stitcher If you're enjoying the podcast, subscribe, rate and review it in iTunes. It's one of the best ways you can help new listeners find us.

Hey guys. Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal here. I wanna invite you to something! I am hosting a Mastermind with 12 amazing speakers who are gonna be talking about everything from ADHD to mental health, from entrepreneurship, to just living your life better. It's gonna be on November 10th, It's gonna be virtual from anywhere in the world. Incredible, incredible speakers. The leading fitness trainer in Canada for all things. Me! A whole bunch of speakers- Scott Carney, who wrote the book which is to all about how he goes and takes ice showers every day. It's gonna be 12 amazing speakers, the CBS Early Shows' Jennifer Hartstein, really, really great people. And I'd like you to join us. Check out the link below in the show notes at ShankMinds 2022 and we will see you there. And a matter of fact, look for the discount code in the show notes as well, that'll take a hundred bucks off the cost. We'll see you soon! https://shankman.lpages.co/shankminds-virtual-2022/  DISCOUNT CODE:  SMFriends22 -- Southern California-born and bred Maitland Ward has quickly become one of the biggest stars in adult entertainment, after an-already successful career as an American model, actress and cosplay personality. After finding fame in the ‘90s on CBS soap The Bold and the Beautiful and smash ABC sitcom Boy Meets World, as well as a plum role in 2004's cult classic White Chicks, Ward decided to shake things up with racy social media content, sexy cosplay and appearing at fan conventions before making the leap into the adult film industry in 2019. The statuesque (5'10”) all-natural redhead is unique in that not only is she beautiful and built for the adult biz, Ward's talent as an actress means she can also carry dramatic and comedic scenes with ease. Her playful energy, professionalism and open sexuality earned her an exclusive performance contract with Vixen Media Group and the famous face of the brand's blockbuster studio, Deeper. In 2020, Ward won three AVN Awards for Best Supporting Actress, Best Three-Way Sex Scene-G/G/B for her work in Deeper feature Drive and Favorite Camming Cosplayer. She also won three XBIZ Awards for Crossover Star of the Year, Best Actress-Feature Movie and Best Sex Scene-Feature Movie, also for Drive.  In 2021 she scored two AVN Awards as well: Best Leading Actress for Deeper's Muse, as well as Best Boy/Girl Sex Scene for Higher Power, plus two XBIZ Awards for Best Acting-Lead and Best Sex Scene-Feature for Muse, and in 2022 she took home two XBIZ trophies for Best Acting-Lead for Muse 2 and Performer of the Year.  Ward's recent mainstream endeavors include starring and co-producing a TV series, The Big Time, taking on a lead role in psychological thriller Just for You and releasing an eye-popping no-holds-barred memoir about her wild life in the entertainment biz, Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood.    ——    In this episode Peter and Maitland discuss:     00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing! 01:00 - Intro and welcome Maitland Ward!  IMDB bio 01:38 - So you're here in NYC promoting Rated X; let's talk about that! 02:00 - Despite all of your success at such a young age, you were not happy. Why? 04:00 - A lot of positive things have happened in the culture of Hollywood and beyond 04:45 - On hiding who you are, and why. A note on fear. 05:25 - When did you first realize, then decide you needed a change? 06:15 - About getting married an moving to NYC 06:50 - On figuring out that you're different 07:18 - Peter on how he explained to his father how he was quitting his day job 08:08 - When did you decide to make the switch from ‘mainstream to ‘adult' film? How did your peers react? 09:15 - About double standards 09:45 - Peter on breaking stereotypes for New Frontier Media at The Wall Street Journal 10:55 - How did it go when you started dipping your feet more into rated R, rated X Art? 12:28 - On building a fanbase in real time 14:00 - About her first full length feature and how that evolved  15:00 - How do you deal with the haters, how do you not focus on the bad reviews, trolls, etc? 15:55 - A tip about fan mail of any sort 16:55 - What's next for you? 17:35 - My how things have changed in twenty years, or even thirty! 18:52 - What do you do to get out of your head, to clear and re-center? 19:54 - Do you have any rituals or habits that must happen every day or else? 20:21 - How can people find more about you? Web: https://onlyfans.com/maitlandward Socials:  @MaitlandWard on Twitter  INSTA  FB  and @Maitlandtoks on TikTok Shout out to Brian at BSG Public Relations! @bsgpr on Twitter 20:57 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We'd love to hear. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!  21:21 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits  — TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:  [00:00:41] Peter: So Maitland, thank you for taking the time. I know you're on a busy schedule with your book tour in New York here. [00:00:46] Maitland: Yes. Thank you so much for having me. [00:00:47] Peter: How is New York, uh, treating you so far?  [00:00:49] Maitland: It's, it's been great. It's been a whirlwind, like, meeting with everybody and like, you know, just doing all of the, the. publicity, I guess you would say. It's, it's kind of like a machine. So I, I'm really having good time, but it's been very busy. I hope to have a little more like downtime to, to little freedom to go explore. More freedom. [00:01:03] Peter: Yeah. We're, we're a good city. We're coming back. You know, Covid was a bit here, but I did not, I could have least how many people are here now.  [00:01:11] Maitland: Yeah. It's definitely came back. Cause I had come, uh, to film something like a, I guess it was a little over a year ago, and, It was pretty bad. Yeah. Things were shut down.  [00:01:20] Peter: Still in, I'm at the point my daughter's, my daughter's class, like half the kids and their parents like went to their second and third homes and all that. Right now they're all back. I'm like, I'm like you. I kind of feel like you should pay an extra 50% tax on everything because you went down, left your most right. You left us right. But yeah, we're coming back. It's nice to see the city getting, getting back into form. We're, we're a good place. Um, so you're, you're here promoting burning rated X. Yes. Let's, so let's talk about that. So you have. The majority of people in Delta Entertainment, you have backstory, you have a history. You came, um, in mainstream media, right? Yes. You started Boy Me World. Yes. And, and of course White. It's one of my favorites because my friend Marlon's in it. That's so cool. And, and you know, you, but you weren't happy.  [00:01:59] Maitland: Yeah, it was an interesting thing because I started acting very young, uh, like 16 years old. I was on a soap opera and, uh, it was, it was a whirlwind experience at the time, but I really felt like I had to be a certain way all the time in Hollywood. Like I had to be a good girl. I had to, you know, be straighten narrow, like really, you know, be nice. That was a big thing. Be nice, and it, I think that was a dangerous thing for a Woman to be taught, like make them like you be nice. So, um, so I was, but I felt like I was always denying certain parts of myself to. You know, accommodate other people and, and Hollywood, you know, I got very lucky early on that I got a lot of jobs and, and high profile jobs. Uh, especially like when I got Boy Meets World and I was, I really wanted to like please everybody at Disney and the producers and everything. And I, um, but it was weird because on the show I was this sort of, not a sex object, but she was very, The U undertones were sexual, I guess. Right. And she was always the one dancing around in lingerie.   [00:03:08] Peter: And like you spoke about that, teasing the boys,you mentioned that in the, both the concept and your articles, the concept that, you know, Yeah. Here's Disney. Right. You know, pure, pure bread, Disney. Yeah. Um, the, the, the likes of which we all all know who comes from Disney. Everyone. Everyone. Wonderful and happy. And then, Yet they were putting you in situations that today, I think if we looked at them under the eye of 2022, right. We  [00:03:24] Maitland: question. Oh, absolutely. Like, like I say in the book, how I had to go up to the producer's office to try on lingerie for my lingerie scenes. So, and like not just once. I mean, there was 20 people in there, whatever, a big group. Mostly men. Uh, pretty much all men except for maybe one or, um, and then I would have to try on all of it and like, and I thought that this was my job to do this, and I never, at the time, I didn't even 0cConceptualize that it was a weird thing or it was ski or it was anything wrong with it. But then today you look at that, if that happened today and it went on the internet or anything, people would be fired for it Yeah.  [00:04:00] Peter: . Yeah. And I think that, you know, in a lot of ways, everyone, everyone complains about cancel culture and complains that, that were too high strung. But a lot of things, positive changes have, have resulted from not only people like you speaking out, but you know, all the way back to the Weinstein and, and things like that. Yeah. But at, at the time that you were doing it again, you were under. Let's just be a good girl. Let's just do the nice thing. Yeah. I didn't wanna, like, was it, was there a fear there that if you, if you acted the way you wanted to or if you acted the way you were, the way you thought you were supposed to, you'd be gone?  [00:04:29] Maitland: Yes, definitely. Oh yeah, always. I had very much anxiety about that kind of stuff, like very much anxiety that I wouldn't do the right thing, I wouldn't be the right way, or I wasn't good enough for the situation and I.  You know imposter syndrome. Yeah. May, Yeah, maybe. Yeah. . Yeah, I guess. But it was like, yeah, cuz I had to like kind of be this persona that I can't see all the time. I was not who I was like there, but in certain parts of myself, especially my sexuality and everything. And I had to hide like, Things that, you know, how I wanted to be exact cause I thought it was wrong or bad, or, you know, weird or, or they would judge me and come down on me. [00:05:07] Peter: Fear is a great motivator. Not necessarily in a good way, but fear is a, you know, I don't wanna lose my job, I'm gonna conform despite what it's doing to your mental health. Yeah. Right, right. So as you moved on and as you had different roles and, and at, at some. Was there a, I guess was there a moment where you just said, F this?  [00:05:28] Maitland: I mean, was it, was it, did it come all at once or how did it, And it's  interesting. Back at the time, I didn't think that it was having an effect on me in my mental health. Like I didn't conceptualize that. I thought it was just like there's something wrong with me that I. Wasn't doing things the right way, but, and looking back, writing the book, I really saw that in certain situations. Yeah. Um, so yeah, it was a long time, a long journey like finding myself, and it's interesting because of all, you know, pitfalls and disappointments that I had after I had a lot of success, like after white chicks and all that, when I was really typecast and things dried up and Hollywood would, they still wanted to keep me in the box that they had put me as a, like this good girl character, this, but they didn't wanna cast me cuz I was already a typecast character. Right. So, but they still wanted me there for like, whenever they needed a certain purpose for me, like a little episodic work or something like that. Um, so that became frustrating. So then I, I actually, that's when I moved to New York for a while. I got married and moved to New York. Okay. And it was kind of like a, it was a breath of fresh air to kind of get away from the Hollywood machine. I've heard that. Yeah. Because it was like, cuz when you're there you're just so caught up. Like, Oh, what, Who's going to this party? Right? What's this audition? Did you get that one? Like, did you book this one? And, uh, so, so getting away, I really like started to really discover myself and I started writing a lot and erotic writing. And I started really discovering my sexuality and stuff of, I guess not discovering it all the way Admitting it Okay. Is more of a thing because I think I knew all along that I, I, I just thought I was different and I thought I, like I say, I, I was a bad girl maybe inside , but, but I realized, you know, I'm not bad. It's kind of funny. My husband helped me realize that really. and he was very encouraging of me to explore this path that I really wanted to explore.  [00:07:17] Peter: I imagine so. I mean, I remember, and I, I guess I can't really equate much to it, but I've always imagined the, the day that I told my parents, I, I, I had one job in my life. I worked for, for America Online back in the nineties when, when a was the internet, right? Yeah. And I came back to New York and realized, They let us work anyway we wanted, which is why I did so well. My ADHD flourished cuz I was able to do, Oh, you wanna work at two in the morning? Great. As long as you get it done. Yeah. Yeah. Then I come back to New York and start working for a magazine and, and we have 8:00 AM meetings and 9:30 AM meetings and 10:00 AM editorial boards. And I'm like, What? This is Russia? And it, I, I quit within two. Yeah. And I remember telling my Dad, um, I'm gonna start my own PR firm and if it fails, and I actually said when it fails, when it fails, oh I'll get another. Cause I was so, who the hell am I to do anything, you know, entrepreneurial. And that was like 24 years ago. And I remember that was the scariest conversation I ever had have because I said, You know, I might need you to help pay my rent for a month or I might need what I didn't thank God, but you know, I got lucky and, and things were in. But tell us about the mindset when you decided you're gonna make this switch. You're gonna go from mainstream to adult, which to be, let's be fair, adult is kind of at this point, 2022, putting mainstream. Anyway, [00:08:20] Maitland: that's why it's so weird to say both things and I know we have to differentiate kind of, but, But it is weird that we have to differentiate.    [00:08:25] Peter: Right? So tell me about, Because you, you wrote a really interesting piece that I really enjoyed about your interaction with Elizabeth Berkeley. Oh, yes, I was Right. So tell us about that. [00:08:33] Maitland:  First, It was a very quick interaction. Yeah, but it was an interesting one. I, it was right after like the news broke that I was, Doing this big porn film and stuff. And I was in the industry and everything and I was, you know, walking out of the Whole Foods. And I saw her off to the side and she looks at me like, you know, our white eyes and they got wider. And I was like, and she had, I, I don't know, I think it was her husband at the time. I don't know if there's still, I don't know the situation. It was a man with her. Right. Um, and she, she just looks at and she turns to him and like whispers something like this and he looks, and it was such a weird like, situation to have them be like, Look at me like some sort of a, you know, beast down in the wild. [00:09:11] Peter: I'm sorry. And let's just, let's just be clear, this is Nomi Malone looking at you , right? This is the girl who, who went from Saved by the Bell, then Showgirls. So I'm, I'm not sure what she's actually looking at, where she comes off looking at you, everybody. So that really kinda pissed me off when I read that. The hell is she looking at you? [00:09:25] Maitland:  But it's a weird thing because once you go- when it's deemed adult, Right. It's different, right? Like in Hollywood films like now on like streaming shows and stuff, they go so close to it, of course.   [00:09:39] Peter: But, but they didn't go all the way. In 2003, um, I, I represented a company called New Frontier Media and, uh, New out of Denver, Ca, Boulder, Colorado, and New Frontier was the, this back in for porn was free, right? Yeah. Right. And, and, and they were the largest distributor of adult paperview on cable. Mm-hmm. . And I would go, I had my, I worked for them for four years and I took their stock price from like 99 to $10 because I forced my way into the Wall Street Journal and Forbes and Fortune. Mm-hmm. explaining, you know, I have a company who I'm repping, who is kicking the ass, their biggest competitor with Playboy. Yeah. By a factor of 10 x. Like, Oh, we great. They're adult. Oh, we can't touch that. I'm like, Why the hell not, not? It's so explaining when, and I got through and, and I remember getting New Frontier Media on the cover of Forbes was like, like the highlight. If that's my epi half right now. Yeah. The first porn company on Forbes. But, you know, but it was, it was the concept of, look, you, you, you're, it's one of those things that you're. Um, secretly. Yeah. Right. You're not gonna admit to it, but meanwhile, look at how much money is being driven. Yes. You know, let's, let's, let's look at something like Euphoria. Um, great show, but not really about the acting per se. Yeah. You know, there's, there's things we're looking at on that show that we know exactly what we're looking. Go onto Reddit. You're not gonna find, uh, uh, um, uh, reviews of the acting. You're gonna find one thing on your, you know, about your for. And so, so that being said though, it's a lot easier to say that then is to sort of tell us about, like, tell us about the day or whatever. [00:10:56] Maitland: It was, the moment where, All right, I'm doing this and, and  here we go. You know what, it wasn't like one certain moment. I mean it uh, it was cuz I started like exploring stuff on my social media sexy pictures and stuff. And this was along the time, by the time Girl Meet's World has spin enough appointments coming around, right? So there was a lot of attention and social media was really starting to really boom, like Instagram, especially in like Snapchat. And uh, so I started getting followers for like doing my sexy cosplay that I loved doing and doing bikini shots and all that stuff. Uh, but then I'd eventually. They started like taking down photos. Right. Actually, cuz a lot of people would complain for no reason to like these like fundamentalist types that watch, of course that are obsessed with like boy meets world being wholesome and wholesome and good and stuff. And uh, actually a lot of porn girls though suffer from people just, [00:11:46] Peter: Oh, of course for that question. [00:11:49] Maitland: Just taking their, I mean, look at the Visa MasterCard scenario. They had match  ridiculous. Um, so I kind of, my, my fans were like, Well, why don't you just sell content? And I didn't know what content was really at the time. I mean, I kind of heard of it, so I, but I said, Well, maybe, And I said, I'll start, I'll start a Patreon account, right? It's, you know, they patrons of your art. And I was gonna do like Playboy-esque type photos. I, I started the page and I, I didn't even like, Um, announced it. I just like did it one night and I said, ah, close it. Then the next morning there was like 20 people in there and then so I announced it and by the end of the week there was like 2,800 people. I was like, What? They're gonna buy my nudes, a create content.  [00:12:23] Peter: Holy shit! [00:12:24] Maitland: I know. And it was just like, then it kind of evolved from there. Cause I, I had been exploring like my sexuality and my writing and everything like that, so I was like, Oh, maybe I'll do. Girl, girl stuff then, and let's do this. And my fans responded and it was kinda like they were watch, they really were watching my journey along the way. Yeah. Like in real time. Um, and so then I, then I was like, What? You know, my husband and I had a big moment about when we said we're gonna have me do something with guys. So I, but I was so lucky. I found two guys in the porn industry who've been there so long, they were so professional. And they really like taught me along the way, like how would to do, this was a year and like almost a year and a half period before I got like a call from Vixon to do. Right. The black scene that went crazy viral. I might, might have been of, been , but it, but then I didn't even announce that to the press. It was all kind of just a internet moment.  [00:13:21] Peter: Oh, well by that moment you'd built, you'd built the audience.  [00:13:22] Maitland: Yes, but when I did. That's why everybody thinks I made this announcement. I just was saying I'm going to porn right now when I did the film drive for deeper.com. Mm-hmm. , which is Vic, one of Vic's brands. Um, but it was because I, the black team just blew up that, on that same day, Caden Cross, who, who is amazing performer and director in, in her own right, but she had started the brand deeper, right? Not very long before she had just, they just acquired the brand like four months or launched four months before, but she was doing her first feature. For it and, um, she lost her co-star on. The day my black scene came out. Oh wow. So, but she thought she'd have to quit the movie cuz you know, there's not a lot of people who can handle a lot of dialogue fast. And so, um, she went to Vixen and said, I think we're done with, we're not able to do it this year. And then they said, talk to Maitland. She just blew up and she can act. And then, so that really was, we did that and I decided, you know what, I'm really proud of this. I'm proud of the trailer, I'm proud of the whole thing of the feature, cuz full length features complete, you know, dialogue story. It was, um, so I did announce it to the press. That's went insane. And that's when everybody thought, Oh, she just made the switch all of of a sudden. It's always a backstory. Yeah. It's kind of like when people say, Oh my God, like they have a starring rule in something suddenly and they're like, You just showed up my imdb, but it's  [00:14:44] Peter: 30 years. [00:14:45] Maitland: I know I've been here forever.  [00:14:47] Peter: The everyone's like, You last company, you started this, sold it three years. It was 17 years of crap.  [00:14:51] Maitland: Yeah, no, that's what I mean.  [00:14:53] Peter: There's so much prep involved and so much time. Let me ask you this. One of the things that we touched on, and this is what I think my listeners can really relate to mm-hmm. um, being as out there as you. Right. Whether, whether it's it's on, uh, in Hollywood or, or in adult, there is a, how do you edit that out? How do you deal with the haters? How do you deal with the bad reviews? A lot of, when you're ADHD or ADHD or any sort of neurodiverse, yeah, be imposter syndrome is huge, but also, The premise that, I mean, I'll give a keynote to 10,000 people. Mm-hmm. , right? 9,999 of them will love it. There's one guy who didn't stand up for the standing ovation. That's all that I'm gonna think about for the next two weeks.  [00:15:27] Maitland:  I know. You know, what do you do? I used to be a lot more like that. Um, like I would get very, like, especially when I started doing sexier photos, like on Instagram stuff, I'd get those, like fundamentalist haters and stuff. I got very perked by it. I guess , that's the word. Um, but now I kind of. I don't embrace it. There's always like one or two trolls that just wants to attack you. Right? But I was actually told something early on when I was on the soap opera that the fan mail that we get, and I remembered this, like I really came to play with the trolls. No matter if it's good or bad, you're making an impact. If they didn't care, they wouldn't even be there. So it's, if you're not getting any attention or any feedback from people, that's cuz think about to be a troll, you have to be pretty investing.  [00:16:14] Peter: Exactly.  [00:16:15] Maitland: You watch people getting fired up about something, you're, you're making this connection. [00:16:18] Peter: Sounds like all the people who, who, when Nike came out to support Gay Rights, uh, everyone burned their Nike clothing. Okay. So yeah, just spend the a hundred bucks on sneakers and burn. Okay, cool. Cause you know, it's not like Maggie didn't make any money from that. That's true. That's true. But no, I, I, I've always said, if, if you don't have haters, you're not doing enough to change the status quo. [00:16:33] Maitland: That's, that's exactly good. That's, that's a perfect statement really. [00:16:37] Peter: So you just sort of put it outta your head. You're like, They're there, but  [00:16:40] Maitland: I try to, it means that I'm doing something. I mean, you know what always is kind of like, of course sounds the back. It's, Yeah, I don't like it, but, you know, but I try to, Yeah. Put it out my. And I do have some wonderful fans who will attack them, like nice backers. I don't even do all the work.  [00:16:52] Peter: There you go. Yeah. So  [00:16:54] Maitland: what's. You know what? I don't know. And, you know, well I really would like to sell the book rights and stuff cuz I, I think there's really potential there and we're working on that. And it's funny because ever since I have been in the Adult industry, I've actually had more opportunities, like people in mainstream coming to me and stuff. Like I shot a sitcom pilot last year. I'm like, yeah. So, uh,  [00:17:15] Peter: It's, it's, well, I think it's good timing for you also. I think that those barriers have definitely back from when I was repping in 2003, like it's definitely changed. [00:17:21] Maitland:  It's so changed and I really think it's because people have grown up with it on the internet. Yeah. Not grown up, but you know, when they get in there maybe.  [00:17:28] Peter: So, yeah, I remember. No, I, Believe me, I remember there was a bodega, um, on the corner where, where near, I grew up in the corner, I think it was 91st and Amsterdam with an owner who did not care what you bought or what you looked at, whether it was- that's funny- Beer or nudie mags. And I, you know, like the majority of kids in my, in my grade, like 86 to 90 in high school, 85 or whatever. I think we pretty much all found it through that mess, through that pod.  [00:17:50] Maitland: That's true. Yes. I know. I think kids today, they go online. [00:17:53] Peter: You don't have no idea how hard it was. [00:17:55] Maitland:  They just go online and that's so funny. But seriously, people in their twenties and thirties now, they're like, They're so open to it. And especially women. I am so surprised by the women that come up to me and they're like, This is so cool. I'm so glad you're doing this and making this change. And I, I think they feel like they can talk to me cuz I'm, I'm in, I was in their living rooms. Yeah. And I feel a little like a bridge or something between like, they can ask me questions. And people can feel a little safer talking to me about things they're curious about in the adult industry and stuff. But they all, Everybody watches it ?   [00:18:26] Peter: No. No question about it. But they, Yeah, I could tell you, I mean, I remember when I was wrapping the company had access to all their data and I could tell you what states and what cities and what towns in those states. Yeah. Um, spent the most money. Oh really? Uh, it was, yes. You know, little spoiler. It was always a red state. Yeah. Always. A And it was like the hardest portion of course. And then the hardest core stuff. Another the one- oh, this is terrible! Right. Then they go right home. They spend a hundred bucks. Exactly. Um, that's, So tell us what you do Last, last couple questions to keep this brief. Tell us what you do to get out of your head. So do you exercise? Do you, what is your thing when you, when you're like, Oh my God, I gotta, I'm, I'm, I'm gone. See an hour, see in two hours. See you here. What do you..  [00:19:03] Maitland: I actually trained to be a yoga teacher. Oh wow. I'd never taught, but I did it for myself. And that was actually after I came back from New York and I was really, that helped me discover a lot for myself too, to really like, get like out my head and really like, you know, meditate, I guess, and like do the practice. So I do do that. I really like to do that. I like to play with my dogs and stuff; most, the most innocent fun. I think that they just don't care. They just, they like, no matter what is going on in the world, they're just happy to be with you. And I think that's, Yeah. So I think I do, I like to do that, but um, and I like to, I like to read a lot and I like to, um, you know, I listen to music and watch them try to like, and not distract myself, but like, just to calm and relax. Yeah. Because yeah, sometimes I get stressed out with everything going on and stuff, so I really need to like, Just mellow down. [00:19:53] Peter:  Do you have any rituals or, um, habits that absolutely must happen every single day?  [00:19:59] Maitland: No, I don't think so. Not every single day. I mean, does coffee count ?  [00:20:04] Peter: Yeah, coffee counts.   [00:20:05] Maitland: Okay. Coffee's right up there with exercise. Sure. Why not? Yeah. And like exercise. Yes and no. I don't always get to do that, but I, but I do. But, um, yeah, I think coffee, coffee's my ritual. .  [00:20:17] Peter: I think coffee is a perfect way to end anything. So, So definitely this interview, Maitland Ward. Thank you so much. Um, tell us how people can find you? Web: https://onlyfans.com/maitlandward Socials:  @MaitlandWard on Twitter  INSTA  FB  and @Maitlandtoks on TikTok [00:20:23] Maitland:  Oh, on all of the social media is Maitland Ward, except I do have a TikTok now which I just started,  [00:20:29] Peter: listen, it's, I'm like the only person that, that Asia's not following their, you know, stealing their, oh my gosh, stealing their files. [00:20:34] Maitland: I, I'm so good at it yet, but we're It's MaitlandTok, because somebody had my name,  [00:20:40] Peter: Ah, someone took your name, you. You can probably fight and get that back if you want. [00:20:41] Maitland:  Yeah, I actually am working on that, but Awesome. Um, but yeah, it's funny. So yeah. But everywhere else is my name.    [00:20:52] Peter: Folks, the book is called. “Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood”. This is a wonderful, wonderful interview. Thank you so much, Maitland Ward for taking the time! Guys, as always, thanks for listening. We appreciate you being here. This one went a little longer. Normally we cap at 20 minutes because you know, #ADHD but we went a few minutes longer and I think that's awesome. And wanna give big shout out to Maitland Ward and to, Brian Scott Gross putting us together. Brian runs the amazing PR firm, uh, BSG Public Relations He's pretty awesome. He lives out in California. A really short guy though, but really nice guy, . And anyway, , thrilled that you took the time, and really, really grateful guys. We'll see you again next week. Thank you for listening. Talk to you soon. Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week!

Hey ADHDer!IT'S EPISODE 100!!! CUE THE HAPPY TEARS!!! Today we are unpacking the 10 things I've learned on this wild ADHD journey:1) ADHD isn't one size fits all2) It's on me to learn to work with my ADHD3) Haters gonna hate4) I'm still me5) The "bad parts of ADHD" can actually be strengths6) The ADHD community is amazing7) It's okay if things don't work as planned8) What works in one seasons doesn't work in the next9) It's okay to just be okay10) My ADHD makes me a better personHead on over to the instagram page: @thenbdlife to share things you've learned on your ADHD journey!

I have spent my life with multiple successful careers. I have been a real estate agent for over thirty years, albeit not always full-time. I have had a painting business, Painter Girls for 17 years while also painting on film sets as a scenic painter.     Throughout all of my careers my primary focus and source of great satisfaction has been helping people. I have found that most of my clients are drawn to me to help enable them to work through their life issues. My ADHD has encouraged me to explore many modalities of self-help, especially hypnosis and energy work. When I get relaxation time I enjoy travel, sailing and unwinding with friends.   Contact Nadanne: Website LinkedIn Facebook Twitter

Collin Jilbert joins the show. We discuss the value of being willing to jump into source code, orienting yourself to new codebases and... cloud whitening?! My ADHD was raging for this episode but Collin did a great job keeping up.On Twitter @collin_jilbertGitHubPetri Dish gemGoRails ScreencastsRuby Central Job PostingCloud WhiteningDiscussing Heritage Craft with NickSupport the showReady to start your own podcast?This show is hosted on Buzzsprout and it's awesome, not to mention a Ruby on Rails application. Let Buzzsprout know we sent you and you'll get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and it helps support our show.SponsorsA big thanks to OBLSK for being the very first sponsor of the show!

My ADHD truly came through in this episode but we brought back the alcoholic tasting. We tried Spritz society brought to us by the girlies from the Morning Toast Podcast. The stupid case that was broadcasted across the world on for the past two weeks and a bunch of other nonesense.

Welcome back to the Beginner Series! In this episode I talk about tips and ideas for how to choose fabric for your quilt. I name drop some of my favorite designers, talk about precut fabric and what to do when you finally hit the shops! Dig in and let me know down below if you have any questions! I decided to go out into nature, so buckle up! My ADHD is in full force on this one! Online Shops I Like (Unaffiliated) Fat Quarter Shop: https://www.fatquartershop.com/ Farbric.com: https://www.fabric.com/ Missouri Star Quilt Company: https://www.missouriquiltco.com/Etsy has some great shops as well, one of my favorites is https://www.etsy.com/shop/thegreyfinchcompany Don't forget to follow Amanda on instagram! @SweetPeaDesignCompany https://www.instagram.com/sweetpeadesigncompany/ Purchase handmade quilts and more on Etsy! Sweet Pea Design Co. shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/SweetPeaDesignCoShop/ Join our Patreon and help us keep the show going! https://www.patreon.com/notyourgrannysquiltshowFollow us on YouTube!https://youtu.be/L05pS-gxC8U

My ADHD got the best of me. Can't focus on more than one topic at a time. I have to focus on multiple thoughts at one time. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

EPISODE 8 If we were not to label ADHD as a disability, as a mental condition, as a disorder, then what would that mean? Would that just mean that ADHD is non-existent, and our brain doesn't have any differences compared to what a typical “brain” would have? In this episode of the ADHD Owned Podcast, I shared my opinion on whether ADHD is a disability or just a neurological difference. I also shared what my ADHD journey looked like and the mindset shifts I went through to make ADHD not the villain of my story. Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I am not licensed or certified, but I'm just sharing my personal experience as someone diagnosed with ADHD. (01:24) ADHD as a disability (04:20) How disabling ADHD looks like for me (07:48) The impact of ADHD on day to day life (09:20) My ADHD journey: The grief stage and the feeling of hopelessness (14:23) What you focus on expands (20:42) ADHD as a neurological difference (21:48) Labeling disability as a “limiting belief” (25:03) Making ADHD not the villain of my story Links: Join my Membership for ADHD Entrepreneurs Apply for the 1:1 ADHD Business Coaching Program Connect with Jessi on Instagram @adhdfemaleentrepreneurs Join the ADHD Female Entrepreneurs Community Facebook Group Visit the ADHD Female Entrepreneurs website

What a messy episode. So, here's what happened. I THOUGHT I completed all the steps. I THOUGHT I did all the editing from my first recording done on Zoom. I am not sure at what point I thought it was all ready to go but when I hopped on FB this morning and there was no episode on my page?? Well....what could have gone wrong? Let me tell you .....everything. Today, I offer you a REAL episode with my REAL voice. My REAL opinion. The Real Slim Shady. And because I was rushed, it has music the entire time. I also LISTENED to it before I hit POST. I am not loving this music in the background. My ADHD self has trouble with background noise. YET....this episode is one of my favorites and I may go back and edit it later. For now, I am pleased with how much I am standing in MY truth today. Join the conversation in the private group on Facebook. Like our page on Facebook. Follow me on Instagram. Need a Life Coach? Reach out to me for a FREE CONSULATION. The Newprenuer Club for Women can be found HERE.

We've officially crossed the two million dollar mark in membership sales in my Joyful Marketing program! And guess what? I know exactly how I did it, and I'm sharing everything I've learned with you. My ADHD brain won't abide by anything I don't find fun, joyful, or meaningful, so you can bet everything you learn today is going to make marketing in your business a delight.Find links to everything mentioned in this episode here:  https://www.simonegraceseol.com/175

In today's episode we are diving into my story with ADHD and how I choose to naturally treat it. I am joined by Maryam Amiri of Brillia to talk about how the Brillia supplement can help you manage symptoms like hyperactivity, anxiety, impulsivity, inattention, restlessness, and irritability. Not only is Brillia something that I use everyday, but it is something I love! My Experience with ADHD [3:10]“My ADHD went undiagnosed for a really long time. I was never tested or taken to a doctor because my symptoms didn't show up like everyone else's.”“In 2022, I am getting down to healing my physical body- and that includes my brain.” “Every time I used to get blood work, I didn't know what they were testing for and I didn't know what my baselines were or what was happening in my body- this includes anxiety, depression, and mood stabilization.”“As a person with ADHD, I have so many amazing ideas but I need support to help them come to fruition.”“For me, it's not about being diagnosed. It's about getting to know my body.”“The body is deeply wise and knows what we need, but when we numb our senses, we get off of our natural cadence and things start to break down.”“Women with ADHD blame themselves. We feel like it's our fault for letting things fall through the cracks.”“If you're struggling, you're not alone!”How Brillia is Different [21:00] “If you feel the symptoms of hyperactivity, anxiety, impulsivity, inattention, restlessness, or irritability, the active ingredient in Brillia can help.”“Brillia can act as a gentle support to help you without worrying about any side effects.”"There is no cure, there is no magic pill. Making healthier lifestyle choices is a great start.”“Our goal is not for you to stay on Brillia. You can't build a tolerance. As you learn the pillars and make new lifestyle changes, you should be able to remove medications from your life and use the knowledge you learned to help sustain the impact you've made.”“It's really helped me with anxiety and overwhelm. Typically, I would avoid tasks that were overwhelming, but Brillia has helped me to beat that feeling. This has been an integral part of managing things in my life.”“The beauty of Brillia is that it is so gentle. You can try it before you go and get diagnosed.”“Brillia can be used as a supplement to a person's normal regimen.”The Perks of Using Brillia [36:30]“Brillia is something you have to add to your regimen on the daily. If you commit to taking the 3 daily doses, after a few weeks you will notice your body responding to it.”“Using Brillia is like a comfort blanket. It gives me that extra boost of support that helps me feel confident.”“This is the year that I'm not just going to talk about it, I'm going to do something about it.”Get in touch with Brillia! [43:00]Use Code: TORI15 at https://discoverbrillia.com/collections/allLearn even more about Brillia at https://discoverbrillia.comBrillia's Blog: https://discoverbrillia.com/blogs/articlesFind Brillia on social media @discoverbrilliaIf you love the show, you can help me so much by subscribing to our YouTube channel where you can get the full video recording of our podcast, as well as leave a rating and review on apple podcasts. This really helps our show expand and grow. We love to hear what speaks to you, what you're getting from it.Go be coachable this week. 

welcome to the nonlinear library, where we use text-to-speech software to convert the best writing from the rationalist and ea communities into audio. this is: Small and Vulnerable, published by deluks917 on the effective altruism forum. Anyone who is dedicating the majority of their time or money to Effective Altruism needs to ask themselves why. Why not focus on enjoying life and spending your time doing what you love most? Here is my answer: I have a twin sister but neither of us had many other friends growing up. From second to fifth grade we had none. From sixth to eighth we had one friend. As you might guess I was bullied quite badly. Multiple teachers contributed to this. Despite having no friends my parents wanted us to be normal. They pressured me to play sports with the boys in the neighborhood. I was unable to play with an acceptable level of skill and was not invited to the games anyway. But we were still forced to go 'play outside' after school. We had to find ways to kill time. Often we literally rode our bicycles in a circle in a parking lot. We were forced to 'play outside' for hours most days and even longer on weekends. I was not even allowed to bring a book outside though sometimes I would hide them outside at night and find them the next day. Until high school, I had no access to the internet. After dinner, I could watch TV, read and play video games. These were the main sources of joy in my childhood. Amazingly my mom made fun of her children for being weirdos. My sister used to face a wall and stim with her fingers when she was overwhelmed. For some reason, my mom interpreted this as 'OCD'. So she made up a song titled 'OCD! Do you mean me?' It had several verses! This is just one, especially insane, example. My dad liked to 'slap me around. He usually did not hit me very hard but he would slap me in the face all the time. He also loved to call me 'boy' instead of my name. He claims he got this idea from Tarzan. It took me years to stop flinching when people raised their hands or put them anywhere near my face. I have struggled with gender since childhood. My parents did not tolerate even minor gender nonconformity like growing my hair out. I would get hit reasonably hard if I insisted on something as 'extreme' as crossing my legs 'like a girl in public. I recently started HRT and already feel much better. My family is a lot of the reason I delayed transitioning. If you go by the checklist I have quite severe ADHD. 'Very often' seemed like an understatement for most of the questions. My ADHD was untreated until recently. I could not focus on school or homework so trying to do my homework took way too much time. I was always in trouble in school and considered a very bad student. It definitely hurts when authority figures constantly, and often explicitly, treat you like a fuck up and a failure who can't be trusted. But looking back it seems amazing I was considered such a bad student. I love most of the subjects you study in school! When I finally got access to the internet I spent hours per day reading Wikipedia articles. I still spend a lot of time listening to lectures on all sorts of subjects, especially history. Why were people so cruel to a little child who wanted to learn things? Luckily things improved in high school. Once I had more freedom and distance from my parents my social skills improved a huge amount. In high school, I finally had internet access which helped an enormous amount. My parents finally connected our computer at home to the internet because they thought my sister and I needed it for school. I also had access to the computers in the high school library. By my junior year in high school, I was not really unpopular. Ironically my parent's overbearing pressure to be a 'normal kid' probably prevented me from having a social life until I got a little independence. Sadly I was still constantly in trouble in school throughout my high school years. The abuse at home was very bad. But,...

Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: Small and Vulnerable , published by deluks917 on the LessWrong. Anyone who is dedicating the majority of their time or money to Effective Altruism needs to ask themselves why. Why not focus on enjoying life and spending your time doing what you love most? Here is my answer: I have a twin sister but neither of us had many other friends growing up. From second to fifth grade we had none. From sixth to eighth we had one friend. As you might guess I was bullied quite badly. Multiple teachers contributed to this. Despite having no friends my parents wanted us to be normal. They pressured me to play sports with the boys in the neighborhood. I was unable to play with an acceptable level of skill and was not invited to the games anyway. But we were still forced to go 'play outside' after school. We had to find ways to kill time. Often we literally rode our bicycles in a circle in a parking lot. We were forced to 'play outside' for hours most days and even longer on weekends. I was not even allowed to bring a book outside though sometimes I would hide them outside at night and find them the next day. Until high school, I had no access to the internet. After dinner, I could watch TV, read and play video games. These were the main sources of joy in my childhood. Amazingly my mom made fun of her children for being weirdos. My sister used to face a wall and stim with her fingers when she was overwhelmed. For some reason, my mom interpreted this as 'OCD'. So she made up a song titled 'OCD! Do you mean me?' It had several verses! This is just one, especially insane, example. My dad liked to 'slap me around. He usually did not hit me very hard but he would slap me in the face all the time. He also loved to call me 'boy' instead of my name. He claims he got this idea from Tarzan. It took me years to stop flinching when people raised their hands or put them anywhere near my face. I have struggled with gender since childhood. My parents did not tolerate even minor gender nonconformity like growing my hair out. I would get hit reasonably hard if I insisted on something as 'extreme' as crossing my legs 'like a girl in public. I recently started HRT and already feel much better. My family is a lot of the reason I delayed transitioning. If you go by the checklist I have quite severe ADHD. 'Very often' seemed like an understatement for most of the questions. My ADHD was untreated until recently. I could not focus on school or homework so trying to do my homework took way too much time. I was always in trouble in school and considered a very bad student. It definitely hurts when authority figures constantly, and often explicitly, treat you like a fuck up and a failure who can't be trusted. But looking back it seems amazing I was considered such a bad student. I love most of the subjects you study in school! When I finally got access to the internet I spent hours per day reading Wikipedia articles. I still spend a lot of time listening to lectures on all sorts of subjects, especially history. Why were people so cruel to a little child who wanted to learn things? Luckily things improved in high school. Once I had more freedom and distance from my parents my social skills improved a huge amount. In high school, I finally had internet access which helped an enormous amount. My parents finally connected our computer at home to the internet because they thought my sister and I needed it for school. I also had access to the computers in the high school library. By my junior year in high school, I was not really unpopular. Ironically my parent's overbearing pressure to be a 'normal kid' probably prevented me from having a social life until I got a little independence. Sadly I was still constantly in trouble in school throughout my high school years. The abuse at home was very bad. But, to be honest,...

I'm in full venting mode today. My ADHD creativity is on high alert, and I'm ready for battle. Have you ever had one of those days? I'm having one today, and I'm voicing my dissatisfaction with an app I write for. Sorry for the venting, but I needed to get it out! ★ Support this podcast ★

Topics:*Toys from my youth popped into my brain.*My ADHD brain opened with a visceral memory of my Mom listening to Neil Diamond...and a few other details!*Cam Newton cut in favor of some 20 year-old dude with bitch tits.*The Lions are going to suck despite what dumbass Huge says.*I spoke at a recovery event!*The world has wrecked what "thin blue line" and "blm" represents.*The complete video of my Gift of Life Michigan Zoo Virtual event that I hosted.*The Queen of the Forest is breaking my heart.*Dear Meathead Brought to you by JM Synthetics.*Zaniac Amanda is furious with me. It has to do with this TikTok trend.*I had to break down the "spirit of the podcast" to show moron, Jason Schaeffer. *FBHW went on a diatribe recently, sticking it to their fans who are calling them, lazy. So I made and put up this billboard.*Asshole of the Day BTYB JM Synthetics / TC PaintballSponsors:Dumpster Divers, Gift of Life Michigan, My Policy Shop.com, Back Alley Comedy Club, Baldwin Ace Hardware, Horizen Hydroponics, TC Paintball, Ervine's Auto Repair/ Grand Rapids Hybrid, VanDyk Mortgage Mario Flores Lakeshore Team, A&E Heating and Cooling Hey! Business owner! email eric@ericzaneshow.com and let me design a marketing plan for you. It's easy and FREE.Subscribe to my YouTube channelHire me on Cameo!Tshirts available herePlease subscribe, rate & write a review on Apple Podcastspatreon.com/ericzaneInstagram: ericzaneshowTwitter: @ericzaneshowAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Diary for Friday, July 30, 2021. VRoom vroom, beep beep! My ADHD is high tonight! Extinction level event here, global catastrophe! Xan back from camp experience! Fighting for homeless rights! Riley vomited. Xan is sick

How can we start to accept who we are and how our brain works?   You asked; I answered.   Here's another question I get often from other folks with ADHD.   Keep in mind, I've known about my ADHD for 20 years, so granted, I've got some experience to draw from. It's taken me a while, and yes, I still get frustrated with myself. I'm a human, not robot.   My ADHD is part of me. It affects every part of my life, but it's not WHO I am. My ADHD is not all of me, not everything I am.   You, too, can take steps towards accepting your differences and obstacles, and working towards being a little more okay with who you are.   Here's some quick thoughts on this hefty question.   Click here for the Show notes and transcription.    Sign up for class now: Learn how to manage your daily life with productivity skills tailored for ADHD moms.

If you're a squirrely squirmy person like me, it can be perceived - if we're not sitting still with eyes up and focused - that we're not paying attention and look like we don't care about what's happening in front of us.Sure, it could be the case, but not always.  I'm the kind of person who needs to be somewhat physically "busy" for me to think, process information, and listen. If you're the same way, you just might relate to my very ADHD ramble in this episode. - - -Visit our website: https://adhddiversified.caJoin MJ and the rest of the ADHD reWired Podcast Family for a live Q&A every second Tuesday of the month! Register at https://www.adhdrewired.com/events/Check out the other podcasts with the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:ADHD reWired with Eric TiversADHD Essentials with Brendan MahanHacking your ADHD with Will CurbThe ADHD Friendly Lifestyle with Moira Maybin- - - Mentioned in this Episode:Fidgets from Fidgetland! (not sponsored - I genuinely LOVE these fidgets. My ADHD partner and I BOTH have them. Great for meetings,  lectures, work, talking on the phone... and yes, they're the original!!!) Check them out here! https://fidgetland.com

Guess what? My ADHD won something fierce this week. I don't usually mind taking a quick little in-brain road trip with my ADHD friend, because rabbit holes and detours can be fun! But over the past five or six days before the release of this episode, my ADHD pulled a "mean" and invited its friends, too. This quick episode is about that road trip, and how my ADHD kept me stuck in the traffic circle of my brain. I also want to acknowledge that when we do get stuck, or lose our map, or allow ADHD to become a back-seat driver, that's 100% okay! It's not the first time it's happened to me, and I'm positive it won't be the last.What's in your bucket of ideas you want to take action on?Visit our website: https://adhddiversified.caJoin MJ and the rest of the reWired podcast Family for a live Q&A every second Tuesday of the month! Register at https://www.adhdrewired.com/events/Check out the other podcasts with the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:ADHD reWired with Eric TiversADHD Essentials with Brendan MahanHacking your ADHD with Will CurbThe ADHD Friendly Lifestyle with Moira Maybin

Episode 15 with Katy Weber. “My ADHD diagnosis has shifted how I talk to myself in such a radical way.” As you probably know by now, I was diagnosed last year at the age of 45. We go into more detail about what led to my own diagnosis, as well as some of the early signs of ADHD in my own life, including my complicated relationship with academia, my career as a newspaper journalist, my PPD and PPA after becoming a mom, my own history with yo-yo dieting and binge eating and how I started Worth It with Katy and became a non-diet health coach and a Health at Every Size practitioner. ⛔️TRIGGER WARNING⛔️: I do talk briefly about my childhood sexual abuse, so I wanted to make sure I give you a heads up if that's a difficult topic for you. I really enjoyed being in the hot seat and sharing my story in more detail, and I hope you enjoy it, too! My book: Worth It: A Journey to Food & Body Freedom   If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood and you'd like to be a guest on this podcast, please reach out to Katy via email womenandADHDpodcast@gmail.com. Website: www.womenandadhd.com Twitter: @womenandadhd Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast Katy Weber's website: www.worthitwithkaty.com

My ADHD brain forgot to connect the sloths of Brazil back to my history/culture, and black history BUT, you can still listen to my thoughts on the matter on @GOATSANDOATSPODCAST me and my roommate just made one called "The one about black history month" and WE GO OFF about brazil. Be sure to send in your reviews, comments, or animal stories to jaunting.jay@gmail.com I promise next week, no more sloths! Thank you for listening! Art by Andie aka @FUNKLE420 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaunting.jay/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Jauntingjay

I never realized how much I need awful humans to judge for entertainment. My ADHD gets the better of me and I need laughter. Hopefully you can use my tips to make you and your coworkers laugh as well.

20 things I've learned in 2020   The power of community & loneliness The voice I have and how I haven't been using it Racial Reconciliation Pivoting to digital & backup plans Asking for help Not being afraid to share-brag better book My ADHD journey My Cricut Planning meals and instant pot TikTok and the power of telling a story in a minute Drumming up excitement and launching Working remotely-tools I've found  Not going back to in person Virtual Events Ice baths & nose breathing Taking risks Being real and honest The podcast-guests we've had Tools I found this year- clickup, Kartra, flodesk, airtable, otter Best of Awards Jenna Redfield is the founder of LeadJenna, a social media marketing education business, focusing on video classes & 1:1 coaching to share the latest social media strategy & advice. She is also the founder of Twin Cities Collective, the largest resource in the Twin Cities for bloggers, small businesses, entrepreneurs & creatives. YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/jennaredfield Free  Lead Generation Masterclass https://www.leadjenna.com/masterclass Gram Mastery Instagram Marketing Online Course https://www.masterthegram.com Join the Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/twincitiescollective Coaching https://www.leadjenna.com/intensive Find the podcast on all platforms https://www.collectivemarketingpodcast.com Follow us on Social https://www.instagram.com/twincitiescollective https://www.instagram.com/jennaredfield  

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. At the grand old age of 45. If you haven't heard of it before, that stands of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - a disorder that affects the functioning of the brain and includes symptoms such as inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness. I've found it uncharacteristically difficult to talk/write about, but I'm sharing it here in the hope it might be of help (even just as a reminder that everyone has their ‘things' to deal with). In this special podcast episode, I share the story of how I discovered I had ADHD and why I believe it's my secret superpower as an entrepreneur. {Click on the player above to listen to the podcast episode and/or read on for a detailed overview. Scroll down to the bottom to read the show notes including all the links mentioned in this episode} By the time you get to the end of this post, there's a good chance you'll be thinking one of three things (or maybe all three). But I do those things too But you don't seem the slightest bit ‘hyperactive' Janet ADHD isn't real...it's just your personality type So, to put it into context...yes we all do some of the things I share with you here sometimes. What makes the difference with ADHD is (a) the frequency with which the symptoms occur (b) the extent to which it affects your life. It's also worth mentioning that ADHD shows up differently in different people….particularly in girls and women (which is why it's often missed). For example, the hyperactivity and/or restlessness can be mental rather than physical (as in my case). And while educational/professional achievement in people with ADHD is often lower, it can show up in high achievers too. In fact the ability to 'hyperfocus' - to zone in on a particular area of interest and block out everything else - can be EXACTLY the thing that helps you to become a high achiever (another reason why ADHD can get missed). I always felt there was something a bit ‘different' about how my brain worked - but like many people - I associated ADHD with hyperactive teenage boys, so never imagined I could have it. Then I stumbled across an article about women and ADHD and thought…'oh my God, that's ME.' I spent the next year or so reading and researching, which is what, eventually, led to me getting tested and getting a diagnosis. My ADHD symptoms To put my symptoms into context, here are some of the questions I've grappled with pretty much all of my life