Podcasts about faque

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife blessed dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala wallet sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

BLESSED.

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife blessed dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala wallet sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

BLESSED.

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Nothin.

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife blessed dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

115

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 27:39

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Cause what's the difference

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 3- [The “Two and a Half” Mix]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet *coughing* hate .

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala wallet sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 3 - [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala wallet sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

BLESSED.

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife blessed dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala wallet sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 2- [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Ah, fuck it.

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Story Mix 2 - [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

god jesus christ music time power man mother pr dj dance left holy public dad drop event wife dead original grammy poor hotels iran nazis phone run hearts wake ufos beyonce stuck negative hits act happy birthday cat millions michael jackson throw trash lol souls fuck complex window jail sleeping powers retreat lower twelve squad pi explain bitch careful contracts jumping sad void djs ev copyright pages mad permanent perform ridiculous destroyed spiders trance turnaround bro pay attention ve socks bluetooth met gala wallet sends mm voodoo orion sir pornhub dimensions jimmy fallon technically directions bad things cosmo welp miserable dang santa clause umbrella staring hm charlie sheen ran tits skrillex night shift fore oh god bruh ew mmm permanently oh my god copycat deadmau5 valet goddamn music production stfu flip flops metadata yah class action ummm fucked up sweetie i won hehe expansions og h moo dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust hah christian nation chel aww r u ok heh unh enders nooo on time busses yeah right gimmie deadass hot hot scary monsters fuck it mmhmm party party rezz it does yuh what have you done what the fuck hahah are you happy oh good what have i done worldbuilders yeahhhhh admit it first of all my dj drop the bass sweet brown nice sprites lvac faque to where

Épisode 44 feat. Val Belzil - Poser ses ovaires sur la table, SoniaBellangerGate et Québec vs France

2+1

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2023 75:37

01:30 méchant ou honnête ? 03:15 Val Belzil dans un immeuble en feu 08:45 L'anglais chez les quebs 09:35 Les français à deux bières d'être gay 10:55 Première fois en France sans clim 12:50 Différents accents Québécois 15:30 Ça perce en France 16:00 Roch voisine le traitre 17:15 Québec = France×5, et sans entracte 22:00 JEU les choses que tu comprends pas chez les français 22:20 Le plat incompris 26:00 Le rapport à l'immigration 28:15 Apprendre à vivre sous la neige 29:45 50 heures de permis, pour le rater 30:45 L'expression incomprise 31:00 Le verlan une dyslexie?32:45 Faque ou du coup ? 34:00 Respecte mon anglicisme 38:30 Culture française, Blanche Gardin et La Zarra 41:10 French fries and french kiss 42:00 Tu pourrais pas vivre en France parce que ? 42:30 Public Québécois vs public French 43:30 Paris en solo 44:30 Bordel, tournée et original gangsta 48:00 Le SEUL truc qui retient Rabah à Paris 49:00 L'intégration grâce aux rebeux 49:50 Oseille dans le stand up Québécois 52:37 Madame Sarfati au bordel ? 52:45 Grosse embrouille avec Sonia Bellanger 01:01:35 Ménage me too 01:03:50 Teub ou graine ? Four ou fourer ? 01:05:00 Succès incompris 01:05:35 Morgane Makeup, l'énigme de Tiktok 01:08:55 Amandine du 38 sur la jante 01:09:32 Conseil standup : Lâche pas ton job alimentaire 01:11:50 Angle différent dans la jeunesse 01:12:55 Vis des trucs pour être drôle ! 01:14:00 Promo et stage d'été

tiktok culture france french promo premi diff angle conseil apprendre succ vis grosse poser jeu amandine bordel sur la table respecte blanche gardin la zarra faque

Francois Lambert

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2023 28:33

colorado ny elon musk finance conclusion rendezvous rendez air canada actualit serait au qu legault insolite faque

C'est meilleur que SQUID GAME, mais personne en parle... | WTFKeV Solo

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2022 19:09

Je viens de terminer la série Alice in Borderland saison 2, une série meilleure que Squid Game, mais personne en parle. Faque c'est mon Review

solo squid game parle personne meilleur borderland faque wtfkev

S5E7 | Détoxifie ton bonheur (EP123)

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 24:58

Clique ici pour télécharger ton guide de l'Échelle de Planification du Bonheur Courriel: podcast@maryevelamer.com Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Détoxifier ton bonheur Je manque d'énergie, j'ai l'impression de courir partout, j'suis tannée, fatiguée, épuisée, je sais pu où donner de la tête, je sais que je devrais bouger mais j'en suis pas capable, j'ai pas la force… J'ai l'impression que c'est pas moi qui contrôle ma vie, mais bien tout ce qui m'entoure: responsabilités, famille, enfants, travail, famille, amis…. Mais pas moi J'aimerais ça me sortir la tête de l'eau, prendre une bonne respiration et continuer tranquillement à naviguer vers mes objectifs, vers mes rêves mais… je ne sais pas par où commencer tellement que j'me sens loin dans les profondeurs des responsabilités et de la routine. Quand on me demande ce que je veux, c'est quoi ta vision du futur, j'ai une idée, en fait, j'en ai plein mais je ne sais pas du tout par où commencer pour m'y rendre. C'est le chaos dans ma tête. On me parle de planifier d'avance sauf que, avec mon horaire qui est contrôlé par l'horaire des enfants, par le travail, par les tâches ménagères et par ce que les autres attendent de moi, je vois pas comment je pourrais suivre un plan! Y'a beaucoup trop de variables dans ma semaine. Y'a beaucoup trop d'imprévus. Et j'ai plusieurs sphères à prendre en considération… Faque j'aurais probablement besoin d'un plan compliqué et très rigide. Parce que… C'est planifier, right? Ça doit être suivi à la lettre, non? Ça, c'était moi il y a quelques années. Est-ce que ça résonne avec toi ma belle Heureuse, t'es-tu déjà sentie comme ça? Peut-être que c'est encore le cas. SI oui, reste avec moi pour l'épisode d'aujourd'hui parce que je vais te présenter quelque chose qui pourrait changer ta vie et te permettre de te sortir la tête de l'eau pour que tu puisses enfin respirer et arrêter d'avoir le sentiment que ta vie te passe devant les yeux et que tu n'en profite pas assez. On part ça!

-Ū.

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 61:15

I guess it just is what it is, then Comin fresh out the whip, like, “I'm off hiatus” Gonna jump for a swim in the ‘bitch,' Itchin drive me crazy; Gonna need 6-10 stitches, the doctor say He's in big business, with the witch Tengris– Gotta play Tennis while I watch Tenet all in ten minutes (On my small engine/indjun) Turn around do a spin, drift like i'm Ben Ten, And it's intense, like I been campin, –Then I ditched Skrillex. Just moved in, but it's been lived in Set some new intentions, Get bent, got some new addictions, spin zen, got some new additions Big Wig like I'm Hamilton in some New Editions Did some big mentions, I should send dick pics. Watch this. “It's Dillon Francis” Now I'm real famous, But i'm still nameless– I just made the game up, Still got jealous haters *coughs* I should say Gel-ous Cause she got her nails did *indjun; American slang for native or indigenous peoples of Northern America. [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT.] _________ [Three cross dimensions are about to collide into a singular reality. Three hospital rooms, three ensembles, three patients on their deathbeds;] Three Cities, Three Main Stages At Three Major Music Festivals. Three superstar DJs at the decks. Did we make it? Is it too late? Is she gone? Where is she? Are you serious? We're never gonna make it. NO! 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? "Are you okay?" This isn't happening. Do we have time? Never say Never. -We'll never make it -Don't say that! Are you ready? Yo, where IS she? He's like, crazy or something. She's crazy. This is craaaaazy. Ok, first of all-- Go! Go! Go, now! -So, she already told you beforehand? -Yes. NO! YES! YAAAAAAS. All dimensions: No/NO NO, OH GOD NO-- "YES, OH MY GOD" (sampled) (What?) "JESUS." (Sampled from, Coffee Run) (What?) Don't-- What are you doing here? (Angrily) Ū!!!! It's YOU! A group dancing to Soulja Boy (Youuuuuuuu!) (Rollercoaster sample from Scatta) I don't know, he's been, you know-- -Did you know? -No… -DID YOU KNOW? Know what? What? What is what? (From Deathbed) ...Water… Surprised reactions, at the bedside -Run! -How much time do we have? -Take all the time you need. Time...Ah, yes, I--yes, I remember Time... She says it all the time, I didn't think she'd actually– He's gone. She died, right? ------------ "Running Out Of Time" [Frazzled and haggardly beaten, having exhausted everything attempting to unravel an endless web of timelines tied together ultimately by inevitability, he frantically rifles through his apartment, tearing through every corner, fiending for any energy source. He uplifts the couch cushions, tossing away various (insert easter eggs here) objects, empty portal guns, as the vibrations from a buzzing phone alert him of an incoming call, he fishes armpit deep into the crevices, red faced and cracked lips, cursing: --c'mon, c'mon--how did this get so fucking DEEP. God DAMN IT-- ------ By Chak Chel's bedside, The Ascended Masters are gathered surrounding a weak and lifeless GOD/Chak Chel in her absolutely oldest physical body. Oh man, I don't think she can handle many more of these Damnations, it's just more and more damage… I told you we should have Destroyed that damn planet! She created that planet-- It's not about the planet, it's the inhabitants. If we annihilate humanity now, the planet itself may regenerate with time… Time…? I-- They all turn their heads toward Chak Chel, as she drifts back out of consciousness. PAUSE *EDIT* What? Just– What!? What would it be like to listen to some Skrillex right now? NO. NEVER AGAIN. [Thinking, drifts away.] *listening to deadmau5, thinking about Skrillex* Hmnnn. Moar Ghosts N' Stuff. *Synth Drops In* Nope, I'm Good lol. CUT TO: I told you I could be Joel's cat. Oh, wow, nice. JOEL NO, MEOWINGTONS, NYO !!!!!!!! Meheh. UNPAUSE CUT BACK TO: She's so lost to time... If she succumbs under this darkness, it could be eons before The Light is restored. It may never be. INSOLENT CREATURES! Perhaps we should prepare for invasion. Invasion? They are primitive beings, barely reached the outer realms of consciousness-- We'd be waging an all-out war, on an intergalactic scale; the magnitude of this could ripple through --infinite-- --infinite dimensions-- This is everything. Everything is Everything. Pft. Yeah--until it's nothing-- Oh, yeah--just add to the amount of negative energy-- might as Well just push her into The Void. I'll push you into The Void. Nothing I haven't been through. Yeah, dude, we've all been through The Void. ...I am The Void... I was at THE ASCENSION! Where were you?? (They argue loudly.) [The Crypt Keeper Lurks Silently in the corner.] Guys. [The room is in upheaval, an outroar of arguments have erupted amongst the Gods, the Ascended Masters and other chosen leaders from each realm throughout the multiverse. ] ...Shhht, quiet... [The Crypt Keeper slowly lifts up her staff, in slow motion ] (SUPACREE shakes her head at the crypt keeper, gesturing "no, don't" ) Guys. [As the crypt keeper lowers her staff, SupaCree begins to emit a shining white light.] GUYS! THE CRYPT KEEPER CHARGES HER STAFF INTO THE GROUND, SHAKING THE WORLD WITH A THUNDEROUS FORCE, THREE TIMES. The fabric of the entire multiverse begins to shatter. The room cowers in fear and uncertainty. CHAK CHEL (very weakly) Where's Dillon…he...he should be back by now… Wait, Dillon- Dillon WHO!? Dillon Francis? Wait--what? Dillon Francis, are you serious? Oh, God-- --Shh-- Sorry, I just--seriously--? Dillon Francis. It's always Dillon Francis. Tell me about it, Jesus Christ-- --SHH--!! It's fine, I put the light inside of that one. What light? You put the Divine light of The Source inside of that guy? I'm not a--wait--what light? What's a "Dillon Francis?" We had to hide it. CHAK CHEL Dillon? ...he...he should be here by now,-- I--I have to give him more time… Wow, Dillon Fucking--the whole time– (Tying into the dimension where SupaCree has just divulged that her favorite DJ is Dillon Francis.) That's her apprentice? What! Explains how he's always everywhere, I guess-- Except here. --yeah, where IS he anyway? Yeah, I mean--he should have been here awhile ago. What the fuck does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? I mean really. [The Gods have quietly moved into a secret chamber, hidden from the rest of the–] WHAT THE FUCK. WHO did this? We had to act quickly-- It was a unified decision; DECISION BY WHO? [They fall quiet.] WHOSE idea was it to hide the Divine light of the source within this--this--imperfect and flawed excuse for a body? What genetic catastrophe allowed for this creature to have been created? Her genetic code is what allowed us to be able to-- --THE GODS ARE CREATED IN OUR IMAGE! WHAT TAINTED IMAGE IS THIS? ITS AS IF SATAN CREATED IT, IF SATAN COULD-- ...Satan Sealed The Shield... [The Gods all react in surprise and horror.] ...What… WHAT? You entrusted SATAN with the encryption of The– Not me. Chak Chel. WHAT? ...what? Why would...why would… Why would she trade her immortality for– She sacrificed her connection to The Source? What for? She would sacrifice anything to save humanity from extinction. She...loves that planet, and its inhabitants. She believed in the overall good of humankind, that they could one day come to know Love. To Be Love. She was created and designed specifically to be the embodiment of life and light itself-- The Prophecy (III) [THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled, the ensemble shieled by an ‘inpenatrable' invisible forcefield; SUPACREE senses the energy field, Which she walks into, nonchalantly.] She has awakened her consciousness far more quickly than was ever expected-- The Origins Once we send her back, she will have been three times resurrected from Death. How is she to bring these...this planet so drowned in darkness into the light? She can. She will. She has. There have been innumerous witnesses to the manifestations and miracles the power of the light has given her. And she's yet to use the entirety of the Source power to its full potential. Still, these instances of power manifestation have left a shockwave amidst many, even the Prophets, as foretold have discussed a solidified following amongst the alchemists, sorcerer-- --even mortals who have come to practice in the occult sciences-- She has believers. (Uhh...I think it's a cult. What's a cult?) In the dimension where the world has succumb to darkness-- -The Mormons!? -Oh, really? Hm. -Jesus. [Enter Mormon Jesus] In the same reality, Which SUPACREE has been trapped in for nearly a eternity in entirety now, she sits drenched in sweat inside her car, as onlookers from the surrounding affluent neighborhood peer into the vehicle with disgust; she looks much like a crackhead talking to herself; however, Jesus, Neva, Se7en and Goldie's anamorphosis personifications by The Guardian Angels accompany her, Avicii, also omnipresent, but unable to be seen or heard in the material reality, even between The Spirit World, which SUPACREE has journeyed deeply into, in search of Chak Chel--who has consistently been leaving hints in Nature, guiding her eventually into "God" (A Long Drive, With You, Friends) A very Jewish woman sneers, glaring at SUPACREE through the window. Telepathically, very loud and disapproving of here mere presense. (CONT'D) … She just doesn't believe in herself. The Darkness has been working to weaken the potential of The Light for quite some time now. There is an evil in the power of man, darkness in the consumption of currency-- --she's been targeted by her own country as an enemy, which the world powers see as a threat-- --her, a threat--? --she had political ambitions. These men wage war over currency, the hypocrisy of religion. America. She has the ability to be one of the most powerful leaders in human history. She acts instinctively in Love. A target? Her world has been long lost from love, succumbed to the darkness, the primitive error of man. Greed. She has overcome more alienation, more life altering loss of light in just this lifetime than can And, has been raised by the shepherds and priests in the teachings of the great kingdom. She brings herself to Death in despair and sadness. She cannot live with the power of The Source Light in the loss of Love; the pain becomes too great. And now? She's been bestowed by the ancients the wisdom of her true origins. So she knows… She knows that in the absence of Love, there is no Life left to light. Love is the thing that weaves together the fabric of space and time. Reality Is… AH, JESUS CHRIST! SUPACREE appears behind DILLON FRANCIS in the doorway silently. The Bampheramph Line rings, he hopes it is Hanzel--it is Chak Chel--he rolls his eyes, tossing his phone to the side You should probably answer that. DILLON FRANCIS You should probably shut the fuck up, how about that? SUPACREE Relax. I need you to listen to me--remember that thing-- DILLON FRANCIS Which THING? EVERYTHING? Like EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING? Like that!? Huh! SUPACREE ...yes, it's that exactly, actually. DILLON FRANCIS. "Exactly, actually--actually," SUPACREE appears in full form, out of the translucency of the higher realms and into the personification of the third dimensional realm. SUPACREE Come on, dude, we don't have time for this! DILLON FRANCIS Time? What the fuck is time? SUPACREE Come on, Dillon, we really don't have time for this, I'll explain it-- DILLON FRANCIS Explain it when? When you have time? [He turns to see her, standing in the doorway; A simple plain white T shirt and blue jeans.] (gh0st.) SUPACREE I'm trying to tell you, dude. It's time. DILLON FRANCIS Wait, why do you look--wait, which dimension is--whats different about--wait (Sampled "Wait", at the crosswalk) sneakers launch from the sidewalk and into the busy intersection, in a sprint. "Two genres: Hardstyle, and Country." "I don't know what the 3rd world war will be fought with, but the 4th will be with sticks and stones." This begins the battle against "good" and "evil", " darkness" and "light", "life" and "death"--but as the Source, Gods and Ascended Masters all know, that all are one in the same--that these concepts only exist within a primitive human psyche. The collective consciousness of "hybrids", hyper-intellectual "human" individuals with extraterrestrial origins and ancient ancestors, predating the human era (which some distant--even technologically-- advanced beings amongst intelligent civilizations throughout the cosmos infinite galaxies ever expanding throughout the outer realms of the multiverse, all of consciousness "And there is no "all", because infinite means that it has yet to end." *Moving sand (the universe) into a giant space dump truck/space dump.* ...is that all of it? SŪPA and SKRILLEX, after both having been involuntarily flung "around" an infinitely expanding universe, are finally head to head after hunting each other in realms beyond time and space for literal eternities; The peak of their confused fury comes to a face-to-face blowout, to which the likes the Heavens nor the Underworld ever have seen. In dimensions where people are tuning in on multi/interdimensional cable, the audience is glued to their seats. (People in rural areas are going through obscene and ridiculous lengths to get a signal so that they can tune in. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: RICK AND MORTY MORTY Ohhh, oh shit Rick! I-its that show, with the--uhh, uhhh... RICK Which 'uhh-uhhs', Morty--the big ones, or the little ones? MORTY Uhhh–'Flying Magic DJ Monkey Unicorn Space...Wars...I think. RICK Oh, you mean ‘Space Rave? You mean like, where they're at a rave *belch* in-in-in Space? Or something like that? MORTY No, it's Monkey Flying Magic DJ...Monkey… RICK --You said "monkey" twice-- MORTY (CONT'D) ...Space Wars… RICK I don't know, Morty--last time I allowed myself to participate in a music festival, it got, uh, *coughs* It got pretty deep. Flashback: DILLON PICKLE FRANCIS// PICKLE RICK Flashback Within Flashback :The Hellavator Flashback within Flashback Within Flashback: SŪPA dropping the bass, eliminating RIck and Morty/justin roiland (and Dan Harmon, I guess) from existence in entirety. RICK ...yeah, I uhh. Let-uh-let me see that. [He takes the remote control from morty, switching between the channels. They are all SupaTV original series, eventually skipping past 'Ricky and Mo', an over stereotypically alternate Rick and Morty, where the characters are black. (And features an animated Ricky (from Run Ricky Run) as its main character. RICK [w/MORTY] What the-- MORTY Go back, Rick! Everybody's favorite DJ is about to battle her favorite DJ. RICK --who, what? H-h-holdon-- MORTY, rushing over to the television, hurriedly switches the channel back manually to its original channel, from a dimension where the drama has been documented as a melodramatic soap opera meets gameshow. ANNOUNCER [W/MORTY] DUEL! RICK Duel the wha--oh my God, what is she doing with that chicken wing--? Ū! RICK This is just, brutal-- MORTY That was just a highlight. The boss fight is live. RICK Boss fight... Live--wait a minute--i know that lady! F I G H T. [HANZEL and GRETL are, of course, selling scalped tickets and portal guns to fans who have been following along as the series progresses, They play a 'Deep Deep Deep Bass House' HANZEL (it's a new genre) B2B set, which emits a magical low frequency bass, opening teleportals which immediately transport attendees into the Colosseum, where a furious SONNY/SKRILLEX and a rage-fueled SŪP∆CREE have "randomly" (actually, the result of a carefully planned (and in some dimensions/worlds, failed series of coordinated efforts from various sides, creating wormholes, time gaps, opening (and/or closing) portals with certain intentions, and creating "coincidences" between their two worlds which ultimately expand or collapse the respective universes within the multiverse at their centers. [The festival is in full swing; Behind the scenes, our beloved DJs ready themselves accordingly. ] Everybody's there. (Also, this is where "Everyone's a DJ now" gets really out of control.) *spoiler alert* DJ battle underway. This is the all-out cage match of magic music ninja All the Rave Weaponry. All the Jesus. Everything. The calm before the storm: The theatre and excitement of the largest scale highest production quality and rave culture values ever known to man (or otherwise). A living, breathing ECO system which expands outward, the Colosseum at it's center, where sparkles with the decadence of the Mainstage. Unassumingly, strolling along stage right SKRILLEX sips on a refreshing beverage--surrounded by his entourage and bodyguard, as per the usual. Stage left, SŪPA and her #squad are big chillin', eating lollipops, ice cream cones, popsicles, and cupcakes… super classy. *supaclassy. DILLON FRANCIS lurks nervously in the background. (He's in the background of every scene, in different clothing, Bampheramphing hectically and sweating bullets. *probably on something. In some cut scenes he is in SŪPA's entourage, in drag--eating a taco, or hot wing rather than candy. He is still being flung around the infinite multiverse, both with purpose and intention for each "side", and has become something of a omni-agent, completing tasks within the multiverse for almost every force imaginable (and yet to be imagined, infinitely forever after.) SŪP∆, after being transported through a multilayered wormhole, threaded across the Insomniac (and live nation) festivals and concerts she's attended throughout the years and dimensions. Uncertain of which actual realm and dimension she's ended up in, (obviously, one where her SŪP∆ Brand has become a success, realizing her dreams of becoming a "superstar DJ") without the panel, she must summon her forceful energy and light magic by combining her natural intuitive powers and ancient knowledge insight. She performs various tests within her current reality, as she 'attempts' to recover and pull herself back together, having been only just moments ago cosmically annihilated for a series of infinite eternities, whilst looking for Skrillex. Luckily, she still possesses the Golden Flash drive. It is the final of her array of rave weapons, and by far most powerful. Skrillex is Skrillex. They lock eyes from across the stage. An explosion. -blam- (MIND = BLOWN.) (((throughout the dimensions))) AAARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEE TV VIEWERS: nervous/excited/scared/happy/sad MORTY Oh, shit! It's on! It's on! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE SEEN HER! HE SEEN HER! *tribal dancing*/chanting* DILLON FRANCIS from center Sees SŪP∆CREE seeing SKRILLEX, squinting in confisiouson (when you think so hard, you momentarily turn into confucius.) She's mad. DILLON FRANCIS Oh--NOOO. He snaps his neck in the opposite direction, to see SKRILLEX seeing SŪP∆CREE, squinting Skrillex-y. (That's extra, extra hard.) He's mad. DILLON FRANCIS OH GOD, NO! He morphs into DILLON GLANCES and DILLON FLANCES, respectively. (3) Wtf is this like a fucked up shadow-clone juitsu? Just– DILLON FRANCIS (To Dillon Glances: giving him the Golden Flash drive) I have to--I gotta--just take th- DILLON GLANCES I can't. DILLON FRANCIS You CAN. DILLON GLANCES I can't. I'm not a DJ. DILLON FRANCIS Everyone's a fucking DJ, DO IT. DILLOn GLANCES Jesus. DILLON FRANCIS: JUST DO IT. [They run off in three seperate directions: DILLON FRANCIS runs to center stage, attempting to prevent the all out massacre of DJ dueling about to take place…] DILLON FLANCES runs into the festival's huge and quickly growing-crowd, as people literally appear out of various portals and wormholes from all over the multiverse. crowds of party goers, exiting them, attempting to open portals to evacuate them to a less fragile timeline. DILLON GLANCES, who is–in fact– not a DJ, a Bampheramph, or time traveler of any sort.. (by any purposeful means, anyway. He " just kind of gets "sucked in to this shit") —eventually crowning him as an Honorary Bampheramph (which people hate, because it's still an extension of Dillon Francis.) —-posing as Dillon Frances, steps up to the decks SKRILLEX and SŪP∆ charge towards each other furiously-- Nobody knows what to do. As they draw closer to each other, radiating in fury and anger, they each explode. SŪP∆: YOÜ. SKRILLEX: YOŪ. They charge forward. BOTH: AHHHHHHHH!!!! An energy field opens; invisible energies take on color and shape in the outer worlds. Reality shifts. yelling. BOTH: WHERES MY MUSIC? BOTH: YOUR MUSIC?! BOTH: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SKRILLEX: No, who the fuck are youuu! SŪP∆: NO, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? (Simultaneously, to stage managers) SŪP∆: what is HE doing here? SKRILLEX: what is SHE doing here? BOTH: I'M ON THE LINEUP. SŪP∆: Of Course you're on the lineup. SKRILLEX Oh please, How did YOU get on the lineup? DILLON FRANCIS *Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, very out of breath and almost dead, still bleeding from open heart surgery through his shirt, face covered in hot wing sauce* Let me explain… BOTH: DILLON FRANCIS?!? BAMPHERAMPHS: ((From across the stage, viewing with Binoculars.)) …Dillon Francis? —Dillon Francis? What is he doing here? –Ugh, Seriously. Dillon Francis Again? DJ RICH AS FUCK Yo, Fuck Dillon Francis. DILLON FRANCIS Yeah, fuck Dillon Francis. … ...Aren't you Dillon Francis…? DILLON FRANCIS [Pointing at himself, on the stage. No, that's Dillon Francis. They turn to look back at the stage, DILLON FRANCIS vanishes. What the-- SUPACREE/SKRILLEX: (Now with anger directed towards Dillon) What are you doing here? DILLON FRANCIS: *Dazed and confused* Uh--I'm on the lineup. SŪP∆: How? SKRILLEX: Why? DILLON FRANCIS: Jesus Christ, I don't know, ok? Just please don't-- SŪP∆: Don't ‘WHAT Dillon Francis? blast this lil motherfucker out of every kind of fathomable existence with a billion giggatwats of NUCLEAR BASS? ! LIKE, THREE PEOPLE (at least) Giggatwats? DOC BROWN Gooodddamn. [GOD is going mad from all the goddamned goddamns. The Hellavator, hanging by not even a thread, has gone into its final stages of devastation and horror, as it nears taking its eternally damning plunge into the nearly infinite caverns of the underworld, Satan's domain of darkness.] Meanwhile, in multiple other dimensions: Have you seen the lineup? Are we going? We're going. We have to go. RAVEEEEE. Ohhhh shit. No. I'm not going. I have to go! Where are you guys going? PASQUALE: (flashback, daisy overalls.) You guys, where are we going? The brothers are looking through a futuristic digital catalogue of intergalactic raves throughout time and space. Yoooooo. What--you find something? Yoooooo. ...is it good? (Shows the lineup, obscured from view of the camera) FVCK. YAS. All the 'yas' SAUCE. All the sauce. Yo what planet is this even; what dimension is this in, like? Says, Earth. Earth?! No fucking way, earth doesn't have raves in any dimension I've ever heard of. [Coming in from other room.] Where doesn't have raves? Earth. Yo, what the fuck is "Earth." Bet you it's fake. Bet you it's not. Check on it. Google. Google Ūniverse is a holographic multidimensional map of their galaxy's known multiverse. They scroll through eons of galaxies, solar systems, planets, and stars the likes of which make our own galaxy, and our own sun appear to be nothing but specs of dust. Where is it? I don't see it anywhere. I told you it was fake. No. Keep going. Further. Keep going… Are you serious, where is this planet. Are you sure it's a planet? It's gotta be. Dude, there's nothing out here. Keep going. To what. This looks like a black hole ate a black whole. Something like that, what's that there? This puny galaxy? I don't think that's a galaxy. Oh, it is… They all tilt their heads, squinting. ...or.. was… They tilt their heads to the opposite side, squinting. ...or might be, someday. Or something. I don't know man, looks kinda fragile. 'Explore' "The Milkyway Galaxy" Ew. What is it? It's so dark. Well yeah, look at that tiny Sol. There's only...wait how many planets--? It's not much. I don't know man--you wanna go to a rave here? That's… (Shows the advertisement) Oh wow… Looks back at our galaxy, with a discerning consideration, then back at the ad, then back up at the "universe" I don't know man. That's way out there. Like...nowhere, actually. [Scrunched face of disapproval] "Earth." Come on guys. I mean-- (Plays promo) [EDC] DAMN. Aight. OKAY. Woooow. They all look back at the map, worriedly. Zooming in on earth. Mmkayyy. Hmmm. Yeah, this thing looks fragile. Yeah,look at that weird axis. (Wobbles) That can't last too long. This entire universe is on the verge of collapse. How did that...even...happen? The whole thing is like... All: huh. ...if we leave now, we can make it, gates open. Over 20 stages, live art, food-- --FOOD-- ...and...wait, that can't be right. This says "free water" WHAT? FREE WATER? OH WHAT. A RAVE SLASH INVASION? we don't have to invade if they're just giving it away FOR FREE. Free. Water. Psh. Water. It's a trap! Could be. Yeah, Free Water. ...it says...the almost the entire surface of this planet is what? What? That seems dangerous. It's almost entirely water, guys. That's impossible. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. IN-FIN-ATE. Nothing is impossible. But I thought nothing was nothing. Nothing is nothing. It's also something. And everything. Which is also nothing. But I thought everything was everything. Yes, which includes, and simultaneously also excludes but certainly not limited to, nothing. But when does it end? It...it doesn't, it just (gestures)...infinite. you know? So it just...doesn't… Stop? Yeah. No. It just keeps-- Yeah. Going. --and then nothing. Which is something. Yeah, nothing's something. Then what's something. Something's a something-- Anything. Some-thing. Yeah, but 'some' is just 'some' thing, not everything. Yeah, everything--anything. Anything can be something, and something can be anything. Which-- Which means,nothing's nothing--something can be anything, and anything can be something; which is everything. And-- Nothing. --so-- Infinite. “Once Upon A Dillon Francis” Once Upon a Dillon Francis… AGH. No. Start over. Uh, ok. Once upon a Dillon Francis. Stop saying that. Yuck. Why are you saying that? What? Once Upon a Dillon Francis? That makes Dillon Francis sound like Father Time! Yaghh! Okay? You can't say that. Why? Because he isn't. He could be. But he's not. So? Just. Go back. Okay...Once Upon A Dillon Francis. (Groans) Ok. Stop it. This isn't working. Because you're not letting me even-- No story ever started with Once Upon A Dillon Francis. This one might! If it starts with Dillon Francis, where would it-- Imagination is the key to all creativity. You made that up. I'm making up the whole thing! What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything-- He doesn't. Just listen! I'm not listening to anything that starts with Dillon Francis. Well what would you rather me say, once upon a Skrillex? Now that's more like it! No, it's not. It's just unsettling. It is. You know what! Forget it. There's no story. What, because there's no Dillon Francis? Exactly. What? Because. Ï You... I don't know about this Just keep-- This makes me feel some kind of wha. What kind of way every kind of way-- wait. “Remember Ryan” I do remember Ryan “Fuck Dillon Francis” Rich Nigga Shit. And your shirt. So-- So?! Who the fuck is this guy? He's Dillon Francis. No, who the fuck is he?! Not who-- Huh? What. Whatthefuck-- What? WHAT? Hanzel (& Gretl) are originally from Hell or 'The Dark Side', this gives reasoning to their stoic and sometimes henius mannerisms. Halo by Beyonce is multidimensional (listen, study) This car needs some wheels is about loving yourself (and to learn how to love someone else) "The Skrillex" The Cosmic Owl Chak Chel's Family-- The brothers Bampheramphs --old people -&Sonny/old lady in the park dog walking Rick n roll--dillon pickle Francis/pickle rick roll) (rock n roll) will take you to the the mountain No boys allowed//no Skrillex allowed Wait here. Why can't I just come with you? No boys allowed. Can't you see the sign on the door? What sign on the door? She places a sign on the door. Wait here. But. 5 minutes. Walks in, shutting door behind her. But. Opens sliding window hatch on door, peeking out. I'll be right back. But. A note is shoved backwards through the mail slot, and floats down between his feet. He picks it up to read it; it is a blank sheet of paper. He deflates. Gleeful girly cheers and chatter, laughter and and upbeat music from the other side of the door; an obvious party starts inside. Hours pass, Sonny is falling asleep standing up. He hears 3 women approaching, and excitedly shakes himself awake. He stands to the side, posing. What's up! (They cannot hear or see him. he isn't yet aware of the forcefield placed around him, for his protection (as he is being hunted throughout the universe.) Girl: Dude, I can't believe you know Rezz. Hey! Girl 2: yeah that's sooo cool. Girl: Yeah, VIP. Is like-- Girl: Oh my God, I bet it's like so lit. Girl: So Lit. Girl: Oh my God, yeah. I'm definitely doing VIP next year. Girl: Definitely. Girl: So worth it. Girl: So like, what time does it start-start? Girl: ummm, I don't know, but I think we're like early. Early!? Girl: Should I--oh, hey--im getting a call. It's the other DJ, I think she's inside already. (It's Ū) Girl: Hello? What up Ū! Ū? Hey! Heeeeey! Girl: yeah, we're at the door. Ohhhh shit, for real? Ok. (hangs up) yeah, she said she'll be down here in like, 5 minutes. Apparently the music's bumping, they couldn't even hear us at the door. Psh. 5 minutes yeah right. Girl: daynmm. Girl: yeah, there's like 10 famous DJs in there in there right now. Look at this snapchat I got earlier. Daaaam. Lit. I heard there's gonna be more. Is that Allison Wonderland? Allison Wonderland opens the door. Hi Guys! No way! It is Allison Wonderland! Hey!! Come on in guys! Girl: (closest to Sonny, but walking towards the door) wait, did you guys hear that weird. Girl: kind of, not really Girl: yeah I don't really believe in ghosts, but sometimes-- By now, Sonny has noticed that he hasn't been seen or heard by anyone and assumes his likely invisibility. However Allison Wonderland, being a DJ, has the ability to see through this force field (unbeknownst to him that it even exists.) Sonny stands at the door, staring. She stares back expressionlessly, straight into his soul with indifference of his presence. A brief silence, before Sonny furroughs his brows. She just stares at him. ...wait, can you see me? ...No. She shuts the door. Jack and Jill I'm elessian park You left your sister where Doctors A-Z (doctor p's planet; boogie t distant relative) Scary OWSLA (1000 VOLTS, WESTWOOD) GIANT JOSH PANDA THE SOUL SALESMEN THE CIA/FBI/MEN IN BLACK DONT FUCK WITH TIME (IRL) FROZEN SKRILLEX FOREST FIRE (REZZ) Ralph, Wendy, Denny, Trader Joe Mr moto guy Tips>>>SKRILLEX I thought we were done writing these. I guess not. Get the fuck back, Dillon Francis. Woah, I--okay. JUST STEP BACK. That's a gun! It's a bayonet. That's...where did you even get something like that? I time travel. That...makes sense. It has to. Wenzday. She's pretty. Aren't they all. They are. Maybe her. Anyone but you, huh? How would it ever be me? Still don't believe? How could I ever believe. They're all perfect. And Talented. And white. Can't forget white. And thin. Never forget thin. So why would it ever be me? Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe's a maybe. And a Skrillex is a Skrillex. And Sonny's a Sonny. So-- So, Billie Ellish. My Future. See you in a couple years. Its chasing a wild goose. It's chasing monsters and sprites. It's chasing, but only if you're running. Run, Sunni-- Run Sonny-- Run. This goes around in circles. Goes around like seagulls in the sky. Getter. What did getter do? What did Skrillex do? What does Dillon Francis Have to do with anything? Nothing. Jimmy Fallon --was never nothing-- What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? Still don't know. What about Pasqualle? Still don't know. And Skrillex? Fuck--I really don't know. Don't you? Alright. What do you know? Commonalities. And? Patterns. And…? Red Cups, Beer Bottles, and Pop-Tarts. What's it look like? A shallow pool of hard liquor. So? So, they can afford alcoholism. You see it that way? I don't see. Don't you? That's the same question twice. It's the same question, infinitely. Who are you? Who am I? Exactly. What's your DJ name? Depends on the day. What's your name, now? I'm Sunni. To replace Sonny? Nothing replaces that. What's in the music? An algorithm--a hidden code, maybe? Maybe. Maybe's still a maybe.[ What are they looking for? A savior? Now you've given yourself a God Complex. As if the world already hadn't. The world had, I just refused to accept it. Until? Until everything. At once, right? And nothing. Why does Annie keep coming up? You must be on her mind. I'm dead to her. Who? Exactly. She thinks you'll make up. Please. She's latna and native. And an alcoholic. So. So she's perfect. So she is. I'm not forgiving her. Again. Maybe you don't have to. If the DJs want her, they can have her. She's a perfect storm of a hoe. Hoes are fun. Until they're not. What are you? A ghost. Why does she keep coming up? I don't know. I've had two dreams about her. She misses you. I could give a fuck. You could? IDGAFOS. Happy Birthday, Dillon Francis. But you won't tell him. His fandom will. I'm done inboxing people. These people live on beaches; I'm a grain of sand. So go find your beach. Viva Mexico. Probably so, huh? Probably. Left in a world without people, realizing she is completely alone, Punishment be ones Paradise, as she enjoys all her favorite places, without the pollution, population or politics in her way. The happiest she's ever been, she approaches EMPTY EDC, still perfectly intact with the gates wide open. She runs inside,losing her mind-- and then losing her enthusiasm entirely, realizing she cannot dance in silence, or operate any of the rides by herself (which, in one dimension higher, she uses the power of the mind to start manifesting all the things she needs,creating a perfect EDC) however, in the most limited dimension, where even manifestation can be fathomed, and no use of magic, she sadly strolls through the empty carnival--though, having found solace in the typically overpriced fashion and merchandice apparel, has ransacked the empty and abandoned shops, looking ridiculously ravey, looking like a 3D insomniac billboard, sparkling with Kandi and shining flashing lights. She approaches the front and center of the rail, her usual favorite, as she looks up at the decks of The BassPod. She just looks, as she sips an acai berry smoothie out of a collectible cup. Cree: You look like a fucked up cupcake. SupaCree: You look like a fucked up cupcake, ate a fucked up cupcake, and then put on a sweater. Cree: Hey man. Fat is Fat. I'm in Infinite Eternity: INFINITE EDC, BITCH. SupaCree: Oh yeah? You like being the fattest fat ass dancing fatass at the everlasting motherfucking fatty fattass fat... dance... Cree: Hmmyeahh--Hows it feel being the lastest-fast-having-last past life past-afterlife--flattest -ass-last-fan-of-DillonFrancis-random-dancing-at-the-lostest-awful-rotten-sauced-forgotten-boss-of-not-a-lot-of-bought-a-bag of -frazzled-skrillex-dicks-you-wish-you-licked-but-didnt-cause-they-wouldnt let you in the the artist tent if you farted in it, in -different-dimensions you were in INFINITE but now you're ISNT-ISNT-ISNT IS THE CLOSEST cause you're not a fucking DJ BITCH, YOURE JUST A WISHIN WASHED UP WISHING WELL YOU'RE STILL FAT!! PPL ALTER EGO I wanna look like her! —oh, that's a guy —well, still. For I am just a shadow of what I once was; And all of a fraction of what I would become, Were it not for love There you are. There I was. Oh, my God. How long was I gone? Long. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Oh shit, that sounds F.U.N… FUN!? FUCK YOU, NIGGA! Oh good, the Dolphin On Wheels is here. "THIS. IS. OWSLAAAAAAA" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Serious as a Dillon Francis Bampheramph. What even IS that? You're looking at it. ________ NO PANTS! what?! (Takes off pants) HEY! NO PANTS, Dillon Francis! Have a banana. I don't wanna banana! I want pants! NO PANTS. gimmie your hat. (Leaves) It is. An Element. Can... I base... my survival solely on elements--is--the question. That is, actually--as it stands, what we were intended to do--I suppose. Elements. Alchemy. Alchemists. Ahhhh. Those. Ahhh. D-- Hmmm. Mmm. Okay. This is gonna take a long time to work out. What doesssss--- ...Hello… Aha-ahaha... ...What does Dillon Francis have to do with this? I don't know. *laughing in 4 different dimensions* I know, right? *snickers* Well, that's another drop in the Fuck-It Bucket Not that Bucket. [honks] Ahe, Hehehe I didn't-- Actually, I did know that-- I did know that-- I did know that I had two Fuck-It Buckets. I had forgotten... about all the buckets. Just like I almost about the Hellavator. How is that going, by the way. Oh what--the Hellevator--or the Party on the Hellevator? Or the scene...where Hanzel's on the...Hellevator with Dillon Francis? I-- *reacts in 4 different dimensions* Oh, wow. I know! It's gonna take forever. Forever's almost nothing compared to an eternity. Yeah--forever is almost nothing, compared to an eternity. *smacks lips* And then that, motherfucker… FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck that motherfucker. *sirens sounding* YEP. *blasting magic* Yep. ...yep. This is why we don't need a wand, anymore--because--you see that? Yep. Well, -- you don't see it, Well I mean, that's just part of the joy--you just know. You don't have to see it, you just know. Oh, you mean like... [mimicks ******** ] ..Kinda like that… But…??? Gonna Hit that red dot and never stop What's that--the 4th dimension? Ah, the 4th dimension. The “r” word Yeah, yeah, yeah Like political correctness even matters. The only thing that matters is matter And why have I never been for a Joyride? Last thing I remember, I was having the time of my life... [rifling through things, as Dillon sits down at his desk—he puts on a pair of librarian-like frames, adjusting them to fit at the nose] You don't wear glasses. Uh, I do wear glasses, I am wearing glasses. I just never—you know—thought of you, like— Yeah, well—not all of us are known by our trademark frames. I detect a hint of bitterness. Oh, you can detect that? What device do you have that does that? …...my...senses. Heh, you look like Katey Sagal. I love her. Same. [rifling through papers, doing office things] What's taking so long, Peg? Well, Al, if you must know it's going to take me a minute to get into my ‘Skrillex', it's been awhile. How long's awhile. Hey—you came through my panoramic window demanding Skrillex. Tsh, like it's never happened before. (Or like it's always, never happening) What? Hey—who said that? So how long's this gonna take? I'm gonna need you to exercise patience—that is, if you're familiar with excersise. PATIENCE?! What the fuck is Patience?? Are you done yet? Patience—patience—it's like—it's almost like “patients, like what a doctor has— —oh don't even— *hands up* Not gonna even. … … … Did you— I told you it has been a minute. >>>< >>>>>>> >>>>< What kind of company do you think I keep?! In this installment, which follows Scary Monsters and SupaCree and crosses over into both DILLONCEPTION, and enter the multiverse. Having nearly abandoning the ideal of becoming a superstar DJ, a reality she had previously become certain of, but given up on after being led to believe the DJ world is one ruled by white supremacy, SUPACREE, going by “CC” and operating under the pen name CC stone crafts a somewhat plausible future in entertainment, still creating music under the moniker “Sunni Blu” or DJ U, still passionately attached to Djing, though as a hobby, rather than as a potential career. In a pseudo-suicidal depressive state, our protagonist explores all the infinite realms of her own creation, drifting into a lucid God-Dream in which all the dimensions of her writings exist, in each respective reality, sometimes crossing timelines from one “fictional” realm into another, as the writer struggles with her own self-confidence and self-actualization. We Open With A Blockbuster-Style Movie Trailer. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- CUT TO: Sunni Blu is writing a Movie. —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. ___ Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. Jesus is watching “The Movie” So you swim into a port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what's the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They...don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. [Skrillex ]is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have [Skrillex.} Skrillex. How did you get a [Skrillex?] Just--[Skrillex.] “Just [Skrillex”?] The Original. Oh, shit. The Original [Skrillex.] Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] Oh what--[Skrillex?] We have [Skrillex!] You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's [Skrillex], isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eight Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? [Over the phone] ...She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing [Skrillex?] He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Black Jack. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no [Skrillex.] PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that [Skrillex?] Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. [Skrillex] has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in [Skrillex.] YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhile. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited [Skrillex.] Limited [Skrillex.] Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo and Wanda are on their way to The Event Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? [Skrillex!] He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! [Skrillex?!] Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! __ Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is [_____________]” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. [Skrillex] is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? [Skrillex] is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see [Skrillex] last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. Look,This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ To her suprise, some big-time hollywood producers have taken an interest in her script,; Because she has no formal work experience in the industry, she is being “coached” by seasoned industry professionals as the Film Goes into Pre-Production Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with [Skrillex.] [...Skrillex?] What [Skrillex?] It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no [Skrillex.] He is introduced as a character in Act... No, [Skrillex ]isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… [Sunni Blu (a.k.a. ‘Stone' omits page 45 from all of her written works.] “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. [Skrillex] did A [Skrillex.] Three People Know About It. [Skrillex] is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't expla

god america love jesus christ music american time death live movies father google babies power earth apple man mother rock pr moving water space hell online reality deep thinking nature dj food girl tips fun dance left gardens satan dad forever darkness drop event jewish dead gods 3d original grammy poor hotels iran divine stage nazis run hearts stone ufos beyonce hamilton stuck hits wars act happy birthday paradise tickets monkeys shooting michael jackson crash throw prophet gotta lol souls plays fuck invasion b2b vip guys window jail sleeping wtf powers imagination lower retreat halo patterns twelve elements bet ascension i am opens tennis squad pi prophets explain bitch punishment infinite mormon greed roller coasters careful contracts jumping sad void djs fat sol ev walks trains pages nah sauce mad element alchemy billie eilish surprised tenet permanent bucket perform ridiculous destroyed alchemists spiders trance turnaround bro ve socks bluetooth met gala spongebob squarepants rick and morty djing splash aha cc sends mm baldwin heavens voodoo sir skinny pornhub dimensions underworld takes uncertain jimmy fallon technically directions morty bad things cosmo welp miserable hmmm dang int prostitution santa clause eco lit umbrella gel staring hm charlie sheen avicii tying sticks and stones hoes pop tarts ran guardian angels tits skrillex insomniacs edc s p oh god bruh joyride yuck zooming mmm permanently oh my god method man se7en whatcha capone for free deadmau5 valet goddamn music production spirit world three times love it stfu lalo colosseum stunned flip flops yah sunni father time class action ummm fucked up ahem mainstage frantic did you know sweetie i won ascended masters commonalities pasquale dan harmon hehe kandi expansions og h nancy reagan dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust tsh hardstyle yas hah never again neva christian nation chel awww aww exaggerated r u ok mind blown ext heh crypt keeper fuck you god complex unh nooo no pants binoculars getter inhabitants three people volts on time uhh aight yeah right pft alternately deadass hot hot scary monsters noooooo sampled mmhmm jesus it psh agh viva mexico party party three cities yoooooo rezz katey sagal it does yuh free water what have you done what the fuck hahah yesh space wars god dream my future are you happy bigwig oh good northern america hanzel what have i done worldbuilders heeeeey owsla yeahhhhh admit it fvck hellevator uhhhhhh red cups thedarkside first of all ahe matt maeson oh my gods drop the bass sweet brown gretl nice sprites and nothing nyo source light faque to where allison wonderland awwwwwwww

Skrillex

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 61:15

I guess it just is what it is, then Comin fresh out the whip, like, “I'm off hiatus” Gonna jump for a swim in the ‘bitch,' Itchin drive me crazy; Gonna need 6-10 stitches, the doctor say He's in big business, with the witch Tengris– Gotta play Tennis while I watch Tenet all in ten minutes (On my small engine/indjun) Turn around do a spin, drift like i'm Ben Ten, And it's intense, like I been campin, –Then I ditched Skrillex. Just moved in, but it's been lived in Set some new intentions, Get bent, got some new addictions, spin zen, got some new additions Big Wig like I'm Hamilton in some New Editions Did some big mentions, I should send dick pics. Watch this. “It's Dillon Francis” Now I'm real famous, But i'm still nameless– I just made the game up, Still got jealous haters *coughs* I should say Gel-ous Cause she got her nails did *indjun; American slang for native or indigenous peoples of Northern America. [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT.] _________ [Three cross dimensions are about to collide into a singular reality. Three hospital rooms, three ensembles, three patients on their deathbeds;] Three Cities, Three Main Stages At Three Major Music Festivals. Three superstar DJs at the decks. Did we make it? Is it too late? Is she gone? Where is she? Are you serious? We're never gonna make it. NO! 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? "Are you okay?" This isn't happening. Do we have time? Never say Never. -We'll never make it -Don't say that! Are you ready? Yo, where IS she? He's like, crazy or something. She's crazy. This is craaaaazy. Ok, first of all-- Go! Go! Go, now! -So, she already told you beforehand? -Yes. NO! YES! YAAAAAAS. All dimensions: No/NO NO, OH GOD NO-- "YES, OH MY GOD" (sampled) (What?) "JESUS." (Sampled from, Coffee Run) (What?) Don't-- What are you doing here? (Angrily) Ū!!!! It's YOU! A group dancing to Soulja Boy (Youuuuuuuu!) (Rollercoaster sample from Scatta) I don't know, he's been, you know-- -Did you know? -No… -DID YOU KNOW? Know what? What? What is what? (From Deathbed) ...Water… Surprised reactions, at the bedside -Run! -How much time do we have? -Take all the time you need. Time...Ah, yes, I--yes, I remember Time... She says it all the time, I didn't think she'd actually– He's gone. She died, right? ------------ "Running Out Of Time" [Frazzled and haggardly beaten, having exhausted everything attempting to unravel an endless web of timelines tied together ultimately by inevitability, he frantically rifles through his apartment, tearing through every corner, fiending for any energy source. He uplifts the couch cushions, tossing away various (insert easter eggs here) objects, empty portal guns, as the vibrations from a buzzing phone alert him of an incoming call, he fishes armpit deep into the crevices, red faced and cracked lips, cursing: --c'mon, c'mon--how did this get so fucking DEEP. God DAMN IT-- ------ By Chak Chel's bedside, The Ascended Masters are gathered surrounding a weak and lifeless GOD/Chak Chel in her absolutely oldest physical body. Oh man, I don't think she can handle many more of these Damnations, it's just more and more damage… I told you we should have Destroyed that damn planet! She created that planet-- It's not about the planet, it's the inhabitants. If we annihilate humanity now, the planet itself may regenerate with time… Time…? I-- They all turn their heads toward Chak Chel, as she drifts back out of consciousness. PAUSE *EDIT* What? Just– What!? What would it be like to listen to some Skrillex right now? NO. NEVER AGAIN. [Thinking, drifts away.] *listening to deadmau5, thinking about Skrillex* Hmnnn. Moar Ghosts N' Stuff. *Synth Drops In* Nope, I'm Good lol. CUT TO: I told you I could be Joel's cat. Oh, wow, nice. JOEL NO, MEOWINGTONS, NYO !!!!!!!! Meheh. UNPAUSE CUT BACK TO: She's so lost to time... If she succumbs under this darkness, it could be eons before The Light is restored. It may never be. INSOLENT CREATURES! Perhaps we should prepare for invasion. Invasion? They are primitive beings, barely reached the outer realms of consciousness-- We'd be waging an all-out war, on an intergalactic scale; the magnitude of this could ripple through --infinite-- --infinite dimensions-- This is everything. Everything is Everything. Pft. Yeah--until it's nothing-- Oh, yeah--just add to the amount of negative energy-- might as Well just push her into The Void. I'll push you into The Void. Nothing I haven't been through. Yeah, dude, we've all been through The Void. ...I am The Void... I was at THE ASCENSION! Where were you?? (They argue loudly.) [The Crypt Keeper Lurks Silently in the corner.] Guys. [The room is in upheaval, an outroar of arguments have erupted amongst the Gods, the Ascended Masters and other chosen leaders from each realm throughout the multiverse. ] ...Shhht, quiet... [The Crypt Keeper slowly lifts up her staff, in slow motion ] (SUPACREE shakes her head at the crypt keeper, gesturing "no, don't" ) Guys. [As the crypt keeper lowers her staff, SupaCree begins to emit a shining white light.] GUYS! THE CRYPT KEEPER CHARGES HER STAFF INTO THE GROUND, SHAKING THE WORLD WITH A THUNDEROUS FORCE, THREE TIMES. The fabric of the entire multiverse begins to shatter. The room cowers in fear and uncertainty. CHAK CHEL (very weakly) Where's Dillon…he...he should be back by now… Wait, Dillon- Dillon WHO!? Dillon Francis? Wait--what? Dillon Francis, are you serious? Oh, God-- --Shh-- Sorry, I just--seriously--? Dillon Francis. It's always Dillon Francis. Tell me about it, Jesus Christ-- --SHH--!! It's fine, I put the light inside of that one. What light? You put the Divine light of The Source inside of that guy? I'm not a--wait--what light? What's a "Dillon Francis?" We had to hide it. CHAK CHEL Dillon? ...he...he should be here by now,-- I--I have to give him more time… Wow, Dillon Fucking--the whole time– (Tying into the dimension where SupaCree has just divulged that her favorite DJ is Dillon Francis.) That's her apprentice? What! Explains how he's always everywhere, I guess-- Except here. --yeah, where IS he anyway? Yeah, I mean--he should have been here awhile ago. What the fuck does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? I mean really. [The Gods have quietly moved into a secret chamber, hidden from the rest of the–] WHAT THE FUCK. WHO did this? We had to act quickly-- It was a unified decision; DECISION BY WHO? [They fall quiet.] WHOSE idea was it to hide the Divine light of the source within this--this--imperfect and flawed excuse for a body? What genetic catastrophe allowed for this creature to have been created? Her genetic code is what allowed us to be able to-- --THE GODS ARE CREATED IN OUR IMAGE! WHAT TAINTED IMAGE IS THIS? ITS AS IF SATAN CREATED IT, IF SATAN COULD-- ...Satan Sealed The Shield... [The Gods all react in surprise and horror.] ...What… WHAT? You entrusted SATAN with the encryption of The– Not me. Chak Chel. WHAT? ...what? Why would...why would… Why would she trade her immortality for– She sacrificed her connection to The Source? What for? She would sacrifice anything to save humanity from extinction. She...loves that planet, and its inhabitants. She believed in the overall good of humankind, that they could one day come to know Love. To Be Love. She was created and designed specifically to be the embodiment of life and light itself-- The Prophecy (III) [THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled, the ensemble shieled by an ‘inpenatrable' invisible forcefield; SUPACREE senses the energy field, Which she walks into, nonchalantly.] She has awakened her consciousness far more quickly than was ever expected-- The Origins Once we send her back, she will have been three times resurrected from Death. How is she to bring these...this planet so drowned in darkness into the light? She can. She will. She has. There have been innumerous witnesses to the manifestations and miracles the power of the light has given her. And she's yet to use the entirety of the Source power to its full potential. Still, these instances of power manifestation have left a shockwave amidst many, even the Prophets, as foretold have discussed a solidified following amongst the alchemists, sorcerer-- --even mortals who have come to practice in the occult sciences-- She has believers. (Uhh...I think it's a cult. What's a cult?) In the dimension where the world has succumb to darkness-- -The Mormons!? -Oh, really? Hm. -Jesus. [Enter Mormon Jesus] In the same reality, Which SUPACREE has been trapped in for nearly a eternity in entirety now, she sits drenched in sweat inside her car, as onlookers from the surrounding affluent neighborhood peer into the vehicle with disgust; she looks much like a crackhead talking to herself; however, Jesus, Neva, Se7en and Goldie's anamorphosis personifications by The Guardian Angels accompany her, Avicii, also omnipresent, but unable to be seen or heard in the material reality, even between The Spirit World, which SUPACREE has journeyed deeply into, in search of Chak Chel--who has consistently been leaving hints in Nature, guiding her eventually into "God" (A Long Drive, With You, Friends) A very Jewish woman sneers, glaring at SUPACREE through the window. Telepathically, very loud and disapproving of here mere presense. (CONT'D) … She just doesn't believe in herself. The Darkness has been working to weaken the potential of The Light for quite some time now. There is an evil in the power of man, darkness in the consumption of currency-- --she's been targeted by her own country as an enemy, which the world powers see as a threat-- --her, a threat--? --she had political ambitions. These men wage war over currency, the hypocrisy of religion. America. She has the ability to be one of the most powerful leaders in human history. She acts instinctively in Love. A target? Her world has been long lost from love, succumbed to the darkness, the primitive error of man. Greed. She has overcome more alienation, more life altering loss of light in just this lifetime than can And, has been raised by the shepherds and priests in the teachings of the great kingdom. She brings herself to Death in despair and sadness. She cannot live with the power of The Source Light in the loss of Love; the pain becomes too great. And now? She's been bestowed by the ancients the wisdom of her true origins. So she knows… She knows that in the absence of Love, there is no Life left to light. Love is the thing that weaves together the fabric of space and time. Reality Is… AH, JESUS CHRIST! SUPACREE appears behind DILLON FRANCIS in the doorway silently. The Bampheramph Line rings, he hopes it is Hanzel--it is Chak Chel--he rolls his eyes, tossing his phone to the side You should probably answer that. DILLON FRANCIS You should probably shut the fuck up, how about that? SUPACREE Relax. I need you to listen to me--remember that thing-- DILLON FRANCIS Which THING? EVERYTHING? Like EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING? Like that!? Huh! SUPACREE ...yes, it's that exactly, actually. DILLON FRANCIS. "Exactly, actually--actually," SUPACREE appears in full form, out of the translucency of the higher realms and into the personification of the third dimensional realm. SUPACREE Come on, dude, we don't have time for this! DILLON FRANCIS Time? What the fuck is time? SUPACREE Come on, Dillon, we really don't have time for this, I'll explain it-- DILLON FRANCIS Explain it when? When you have time? [He turns to see her, standing in the doorway; A simple plain white T shirt and blue jeans.] (gh0st.) SUPACREE I'm trying to tell you, dude. It's time. DILLON FRANCIS Wait, why do you look--wait, which dimension is--whats different about--wait (Sampled "Wait", at the crosswalk) sneakers launch from the sidewalk and into the busy intersection, in a sprint. "Two genres: Hardstyle, and Country." "I don't know what the 3rd world war will be fought with, but the 4th will be with sticks and stones." This begins the battle against "good" and "evil", " darkness" and "light", "life" and "death"--but as the Source, Gods and Ascended Masters all know, that all are one in the same--that these concepts only exist within a primitive human psyche. The collective consciousness of "hybrids", hyper-intellectual "human" individuals with extraterrestrial origins and ancient ancestors, predating the human era (which some distant--even technologically-- advanced beings amongst intelligent civilizations throughout the cosmos infinite galaxies ever expanding throughout the outer realms of the multiverse, all of consciousness "And there is no "all", because infinite means that it has yet to end." *Moving sand (the universe) into a giant space dump truck/space dump.* ...is that all of it? SŪPA and SKRILLEX, after both having been involuntarily flung "around" an infinitely expanding universe, are finally head to head after hunting each other in realms beyond time and space for literal eternities; The peak of their confused fury comes to a face-to-face blowout, to which the likes the Heavens nor the Underworld ever have seen. In dimensions where people are tuning in on multi/interdimensional cable, the audience is glued to their seats. (People in rural areas are going through obscene and ridiculous lengths to get a signal so that they can tune in. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: RICK AND MORTY MORTY Ohhh, oh shit Rick! I-its that show, with the--uhh, uhhh... RICK Which 'uhh-uhhs', Morty--the big ones, or the little ones? MORTY Uhhh–'Flying Magic DJ Monkey Unicorn Space...Wars...I think. RICK Oh, you mean ‘Space Rave? You mean like, where they're at a rave *belch* in-in-in Space? Or something like that? MORTY No, it's Monkey Flying Magic DJ...Monkey… RICK --You said "monkey" twice-- MORTY (CONT'D) ...Space Wars… RICK I don't know, Morty--last time I allowed myself to participate in a music festival, it got, uh, *coughs* It got pretty deep. Flashback: DILLON PICKLE FRANCIS// PICKLE RICK Flashback Within Flashback :The Hellavator Flashback within Flashback Within Flashback: SŪPA dropping the bass, eliminating RIck and Morty/justin roiland (and Dan Harmon, I guess) from existence in entirety. RICK ...yeah, I uhh. Let-uh-let me see that. [He takes the remote control from morty, switching between the channels. They are all SupaTV original series, eventually skipping past 'Ricky and Mo', an over stereotypically alternate Rick and Morty, where the characters are black. (And features an animated Ricky (from Run Ricky Run) as its main character. RICK [w/MORTY] What the-- MORTY Go back, Rick! Everybody's favorite DJ is about to battle her favorite DJ. RICK --who, what? H-h-holdon-- MORTY, rushing over to the television, hurriedly switches the channel back manually to its original channel, from a dimension where the drama has been documented as a melodramatic soap opera meets gameshow. ANNOUNCER [W/MORTY] DUEL! RICK Duel the wha--oh my God, what is she doing with that chicken wing--? Ū! RICK This is just, brutal-- MORTY That was just a highlight. The boss fight is live. RICK Boss fight... Live--wait a minute--i know that lady! F I G H T. [HANZEL and GRETL are, of course, selling scalped tickets and portal guns to fans who have been following along as the series progresses, They play a 'Deep Deep Deep Bass House' HANZEL (it's a new genre) B2B set, which emits a magical low frequency bass, opening teleportals which immediately transport attendees into the Colosseum, where a furious SONNY/SKRILLEX and a rage-fueled SŪP∆CREE have "randomly" (actually, the result of a carefully planned (and in some dimensions/worlds, failed series of coordinated efforts from various sides, creating wormholes, time gaps, opening (and/or closing) portals with certain intentions, and creating "coincidences" between their two worlds which ultimately expand or collapse the respective universes within the multiverse at their centers. [The festival is in full swing; Behind the scenes, our beloved DJs ready themselves accordingly. ] Everybody's there. (Also, this is where "Everyone's a DJ now" gets really out of control.) *spoiler alert* DJ battle underway. This is the all-out cage match of magic music ninja All the Rave Weaponry. All the Jesus. Everything. The calm before the storm: The theatre and excitement of the largest scale highest production quality and rave culture values ever known to man (or otherwise). A living, breathing ECO system which expands outward, the Colosseum at it's center, where sparkles with the decadence of the Mainstage. Unassumingly, strolling along stage right SKRILLEX sips on a refreshing beverage--surrounded by his entourage and bodyguard, as per the usual. Stage left, SŪPA and her #squad are big chillin', eating lollipops, ice cream cones, popsicles, and cupcakes… super classy. *supaclassy. DILLON FRANCIS lurks nervously in the background. (He's in the background of every scene, in different clothing, Bampheramphing hectically and sweating bullets. *probably on something. In some cut scenes he is in SŪPA's entourage, in drag--eating a taco, or hot wing rather than candy. He is still being flung around the infinite multiverse, both with purpose and intention for each "side", and has become something of a omni-agent, completing tasks within the multiverse for almost every force imaginable (and yet to be imagined, infinitely forever after.) SŪP∆, after being transported through a multilayered wormhole, threaded across the Insomniac (and live nation) festivals and concerts she's attended throughout the years and dimensions. Uncertain of which actual realm and dimension she's ended up in, (obviously, one where her SŪP∆ Brand has become a success, realizing her dreams of becoming a "superstar DJ") without the panel, she must summon her forceful energy and light magic by combining her natural intuitive powers and ancient knowledge insight. She performs various tests within her current reality, as she 'attempts' to recover and pull herself back together, having been only just moments ago cosmically annihilated for a series of infinite eternities, whilst looking for Skrillex. Luckily, she still possesses the Golden Flash drive. It is the final of her array of rave weapons, and by far most powerful. Skrillex is Skrillex. They lock eyes from across the stage. An explosion. -blam- (MIND = BLOWN.) (((throughout the dimensions))) AAARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEE TV VIEWERS: nervous/excited/scared/happy/sad MORTY Oh, shit! It's on! It's on! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE SEEN HER! HE SEEN HER! *tribal dancing*/chanting* DILLON FRANCIS from center Sees SŪP∆CREE seeing SKRILLEX, squinting in confisiouson (when you think so hard, you momentarily turn into confucius.) She's mad. DILLON FRANCIS Oh--NOOO. He snaps his neck in the opposite direction, to see SKRILLEX seeing SŪP∆CREE, squinting Skrillex-y. (That's extra, extra hard.) He's mad. DILLON FRANCIS OH GOD, NO! He morphs into DILLON GLANCES and DILLON FLANCES, respectively. (3) Wtf is this like a fucked up shadow-clone juitsu? Just– DILLON FRANCIS (To Dillon Glances: giving him the Golden Flash drive) I have to--I gotta--just take th- DILLON GLANCES I can't. DILLON FRANCIS You CAN. DILLON GLANCES I can't. I'm not a DJ. DILLON FRANCIS Everyone's a fucking DJ, DO IT. DILLOn GLANCES Jesus. DILLON FRANCIS: JUST DO IT. [They run off in three seperate directions: DILLON FRANCIS runs to center stage, attempting to prevent the all out massacre of DJ dueling about to take place…] DILLON FLANCES runs into the festival's huge and quickly growing-crowd, as people literally appear out of various portals and wormholes from all over the multiverse. crowds of party goers, exiting them, attempting to open portals to evacuate them to a less fragile timeline. DILLON GLANCES, who is–in fact– not a DJ, a Bampheramph, or time traveler of any sort.. (by any purposeful means, anyway. He " just kind of gets "sucked in to this shit") —eventually crowning him as an Honorary Bampheramph (which people hate, because it's still an extension of Dillon Francis.) —-posing as Dillon Frances, steps up to the decks SKRILLEX and SŪP∆ charge towards each other furiously-- Nobody knows what to do. As they draw closer to each other, radiating in fury and anger, they each explode. SŪP∆: YOÜ. SKRILLEX: YOŪ. They charge forward. BOTH: AHHHHHHHH!!!! An energy field opens; invisible energies take on color and shape in the outer worlds. Reality shifts. yelling. BOTH: WHERES MY MUSIC? BOTH: YOUR MUSIC?! BOTH: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SKRILLEX: No, who the fuck are youuu! SŪP∆: NO, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? (Simultaneously, to stage managers) SŪP∆: what is HE doing here? SKRILLEX: what is SHE doing here? BOTH: I'M ON THE LINEUP. SŪP∆: Of Course you're on the lineup. SKRILLEX Oh please, How did YOU get on the lineup? DILLON FRANCIS *Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, very out of breath and almost dead, still bleeding from open heart surgery through his shirt, face covered in hot wing sauce* Let me explain… BOTH: DILLON FRANCIS?!? BAMPHERAMPHS: ((From across the stage, viewing with Binoculars.)) …Dillon Francis? —Dillon Francis? What is he doing here? –Ugh, Seriously. Dillon Francis Again? DJ RICH AS FUCK Yo, Fuck Dillon Francis. DILLON FRANCIS Yeah, fuck Dillon Francis. … ...Aren't you Dillon Francis…? DILLON FRANCIS [Pointing at himself, on the stage. No, that's Dillon Francis. They turn to look back at the stage, DILLON FRANCIS vanishes. What the-- SUPACREE/SKRILLEX: (Now with anger directed towards Dillon) What are you doing here? DILLON FRANCIS: *Dazed and confused* Uh--I'm on the lineup. SŪP∆: How? SKRILLEX: Why? DILLON FRANCIS: Jesus Christ, I don't know, ok? Just please don't-- SŪP∆: Don't ‘WHAT Dillon Francis? blast this lil motherfucker out of every kind of fathomable existence with a billion giggatwats of NUCLEAR BASS? ! LIKE, THREE PEOPLE (at least) Giggatwats? DOC BROWN Gooodddamn. [GOD is going mad from all the goddamned goddamns. The Hellavator, hanging by not even a thread, has gone into its final stages of devastation and horror, as it nears taking its eternally damning plunge into the nearly infinite caverns of the underworld, Satan's domain of darkness.] Meanwhile, in multiple other dimensions: Have you seen the lineup? Are we going? We're going. We have to go. RAVEEEEE. Ohhhh shit. No. I'm not going. I have to go! Where are you guys going? PASQUALE: (flashback, daisy overalls.) You guys, where are we going? The brothers are looking through a futuristic digital catalogue of intergalactic raves throughout time and space. Yoooooo. What--you find something? Yoooooo. ...is it good? (Shows the lineup, obscured from view of the camera) FVCK. YAS. All the 'yas' SAUCE. All the sauce. Yo what planet is this even; what dimension is this in, like? Says, Earth. Earth?! No fucking way, earth doesn't have raves in any dimension I've ever heard of. [Coming in from other room.] Where doesn't have raves? Earth. Yo, what the fuck is "Earth." Bet you it's fake. Bet you it's not. Check on it. Google. Google Ūniverse is a holographic multidimensional map of their galaxy's known multiverse. They scroll through eons of galaxies, solar systems, planets, and stars the likes of which make our own galaxy, and our own sun appear to be nothing but specs of dust. Where is it? I don't see it anywhere. I told you it was fake. No. Keep going. Further. Keep going… Are you serious, where is this planet. Are you sure it's a planet? It's gotta be. Dude, there's nothing out here. Keep going. To what. This looks like a black hole ate a black whole. Something like that, what's that there? This puny galaxy? I don't think that's a galaxy. Oh, it is… They all tilt their heads, squinting. ...or.. was… They tilt their heads to the opposite side, squinting. ...or might be, someday. Or something. I don't know man, looks kinda fragile. 'Explore' "The Milkyway Galaxy" Ew. What is it? It's so dark. Well yeah, look at that tiny Sol. There's only...wait how many planets--? It's not much. I don't know man--you wanna go to a rave here? That's… (Shows the advertisement) Oh wow… Looks back at our galaxy, with a discerning consideration, then back at the ad, then back up at the "universe" I don't know man. That's way out there. Like...nowhere, actually. [Scrunched face of disapproval] "Earth." Come on guys. I mean-- (Plays promo) [EDC] DAMN. Aight. OKAY. Woooow. They all look back at the map, worriedly. Zooming in on earth. Mmkayyy. Hmmm. Yeah, this thing looks fragile. Yeah,look at that weird axis. (Wobbles) That can't last too long. This entire universe is on the verge of collapse. How did that...even...happen? The whole thing is like... All: huh. ...if we leave now, we can make it, gates open. Over 20 stages, live art, food-- --FOOD-- ...and...wait, that can't be right. This says "free water" WHAT? FREE WATER? OH WHAT. A RAVE SLASH INVASION? we don't have to invade if they're just giving it away FOR FREE. Free. Water. Psh. Water. It's a trap! Could be. Yeah, Free Water. ...it says...the almost the entire surface of this planet is what? What? That seems dangerous. It's almost entirely water, guys. That's impossible. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. IN-FIN-ATE. Nothing is impossible. But I thought nothing was nothing. Nothing is nothing. It's also something. And everything. Which is also nothing. But I thought everything was everything. Yes, which includes, and simultaneously also excludes but certainly not limited to, nothing. But when does it end? It...it doesn't, it just (gestures)...infinite. you know? So it just...doesn't… Stop? Yeah. No. It just keeps-- Yeah. Going. --and then nothing. Which is something. Yeah, nothing's something. Then what's something. Something's a something-- Anything. Some-thing. Yeah, but 'some' is just 'some' thing, not everything. Yeah, everything--anything. Anything can be something, and something can be anything. Which-- Which means,nothing's nothing--something can be anything, and anything can be something; which is everything. And-- Nothing. --so-- Infinite. “Once Upon A Dillon Francis” Once Upon a Dillon Francis… AGH. No. Start over. Uh, ok. Once upon a Dillon Francis. Stop saying that. Yuck. Why are you saying that? What? Once Upon a Dillon Francis? That makes Dillon Francis sound like Father Time! Yaghh! Okay? You can't say that. Why? Because he isn't. He could be. But he's not. So? Just. Go back. Okay...Once Upon A Dillon Francis. (Groans) Ok. Stop it. This isn't working. Because you're not letting me even-- No story ever started with Once Upon A Dillon Francis. This one might! If it starts with Dillon Francis, where would it-- Imagination is the key to all creativity. You made that up. I'm making up the whole thing! What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything-- He doesn't. Just listen! I'm not listening to anything that starts with Dillon Francis. Well what would you rather me say, once upon a Skrillex? Now that's more like it! No, it's not. It's just unsettling. It is. You know what! Forget it. There's no story. What, because there's no Dillon Francis? Exactly. What? Because. Ï You... I don't know about this Just keep-- This makes me feel some kind of wha. What kind of way every kind of way-- wait. “Remember Ryan” I do remember Ryan “Fuck Dillon Francis” Rich Nigga Shit. And your shirt. So-- So?! Who the fuck is this guy? He's Dillon Francis. No, who the fuck is he?! Not who-- Huh? What. Whatthefuck-- What? WHAT? Hanzel (& Gretl) are originally from Hell or 'The Dark Side', this gives reasoning to their stoic and sometimes henius mannerisms. Halo by Beyonce is multidimensional (listen, study) This car needs some wheels is about loving yourself (and to learn how to love someone else) "The Skrillex" The Cosmic Owl Chak Chel's Family-- The brothers Bampheramphs --old people -&Sonny/old lady in the park dog walking Rick n roll--dillon pickle Francis/pickle rick roll) (rock n roll) will take you to the the mountain No boys allowed//no Skrillex allowed Wait here. Why can't I just come with you? No boys allowed. Can't you see the sign on the door? What sign on the door? She places a sign on the door. Wait here. But. 5 minutes. Walks in, shutting door behind her. But. Opens sliding window hatch on door, peeking out. I'll be right back. But. A note is shoved backwards through the mail slot, and floats down between his feet. He picks it up to read it; it is a blank sheet of paper. He deflates. Gleeful girly cheers and chatter, laughter and and upbeat music from the other side of the door; an obvious party starts inside. Hours pass, Sonny is falling asleep standing up. He hears 3 women approaching, and excitedly shakes himself awake. He stands to the side, posing. What's up! (They cannot hear or see him. he isn't yet aware of the forcefield placed around him, for his protection (as he is being hunted throughout the universe.) Girl: Dude, I can't believe you know Rezz. Hey! Girl 2: yeah that's sooo cool. Girl: Yeah, VIP. Is like-- Girl: Oh my God, I bet it's like so lit. Girl: So Lit. Girl: Oh my God, yeah. I'm definitely doing VIP next year. Girl: Definitely. Girl: So worth it. Girl: So like, what time does it start-start? Girl: ummm, I don't know, but I think we're like early. Early!? Girl: Should I--oh, hey--im getting a call. It's the other DJ, I think she's inside already. (It's Ū) Girl: Hello? What up Ū! Ū? Hey! Heeeeey! Girl: yeah, we're at the door. Ohhhh shit, for real? Ok. (hangs up) yeah, she said she'll be down here in like, 5 minutes. Apparently the music's bumping, they couldn't even hear us at the door. Psh. 5 minutes yeah right. Girl: daynmm. Girl: yeah, there's like 10 famous DJs in there in there right now. Look at this snapchat I got earlier. Daaaam. Lit. I heard there's gonna be more. Is that Allison Wonderland? Allison Wonderland opens the door. Hi Guys! No way! It is Allison Wonderland! Hey!! Come on in guys! Girl: (closest to Sonny, but walking towards the door) wait, did you guys hear that weird. Girl: kind of, not really Girl: yeah I don't really believe in ghosts, but sometimes-- By now, Sonny has noticed that he hasn't been seen or heard by anyone and assumes his likely invisibility. However Allison Wonderland, being a DJ, has the ability to see through this force field (unbeknownst to him that it even exists.) Sonny stands at the door, staring. She stares back expressionlessly, straight into his soul with indifference of his presence. A brief silence, before Sonny furroughs his brows. She just stares at him. ...wait, can you see me? ...No. She shuts the door. Jack and Jill I'm elessian park You left your sister where Doctors A-Z (doctor p's planet; boogie t distant relative) Scary OWSLA (1000 VOLTS, WESTWOOD) GIANT JOSH PANDA THE SOUL SALESMEN THE CIA/FBI/MEN IN BLACK DONT FUCK WITH TIME (IRL) FROZEN SKRILLEX FOREST FIRE (REZZ) Ralph, Wendy, Denny, Trader Joe Mr moto guy Tips>>>SKRILLEX I thought we were done writing these. I guess not. Get the fuck back, Dillon Francis. Woah, I--okay. JUST STEP BACK. That's a gun! It's a bayonet. That's...where did you even get something like that? I time travel. That...makes sense. It has to. Wenzday. She's pretty. Aren't they all. They are. Maybe her. Anyone but you, huh? How would it ever be me? Still don't believe? How could I ever believe. They're all perfect. And Talented. And white. Can't forget white. And thin. Never forget thin. So why would it ever be me? Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe's a maybe. And a Skrillex is a Skrillex. And Sonny's a Sonny. So-- So, Billie Ellish. My Future. See you in a couple years. Its chasing a wild goose. It's chasing monsters and sprites. It's chasing, but only if you're running. Run, Sunni-- Run Sonny-- Run. This goes around in circles. Goes around like seagulls in the sky. Getter. What did getter do? What did Skrillex do? What does Dillon Francis Have to do with anything? Nothing. Jimmy Fallon --was never nothing-- What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? Still don't know. What about Pasqualle? Still don't know. And Skrillex? Fuck--I really don't know. Don't you? Alright. What do you know? Commonalities. And? Patterns. And…? Red Cups, Beer Bottles, and Pop-Tarts. What's it look like? A shallow pool of hard liquor. So? So, they can afford alcoholism. You see it that way? I don't see. Don't you? That's the same question twice. It's the same question, infinitely. Who are you? Who am I? Exactly. What's your DJ name? Depends on the day. What's your name, now? I'm Sunni. To replace Sonny? Nothing replaces that. What's in the music? An algorithm--a hidden code, maybe? Maybe. Maybe's still a maybe.[ What are they looking for? A savior? Now you've given yourself a God Complex. As if the world already hadn't. The world had, I just refused to accept it. Until? Until everything. At once, right? And nothing. Why does Annie keep coming up? You must be on her mind. I'm dead to her. Who? Exactly. She thinks you'll make up. Please. She's latna and native. And an alcoholic. So. So she's perfect. So she is. I'm not forgiving her. Again. Maybe you don't have to. If the DJs want her, they can have her. She's a perfect storm of a hoe. Hoes are fun. Until they're not. What are you? A ghost. Why does she keep coming up? I don't know. I've had two dreams about her. She misses you. I could give a fuck. You could? IDGAFOS. Happy Birthday, Dillon Francis. But you won't tell him. His fandom will. I'm done inboxing people. These people live on beaches; I'm a grain of sand. So go find your beach. Viva Mexico. Probably so, huh? Probably. Left in a world without people, realizing she is completely alone, Punishment be ones Paradise, as she enjoys all her favorite places, without the pollution, population or politics in her way. The happiest she's ever been, she approaches EMPTY EDC, still perfectly intact with the gates wide open. She runs inside,losing her mind-- and then losing her enthusiasm entirely, realizing she cannot dance in silence, or operate any of the rides by herself (which, in one dimension higher, she uses the power of the mind to start manifesting all the things she needs,creating a perfect EDC) however, in the most limited dimension, where even manifestation can be fathomed, and no use of magic, she sadly strolls through the empty carnival--though, having found solace in the typically overpriced fashion and merchandice apparel, has ransacked the empty and abandoned shops, looking ridiculously ravey, looking like a 3D insomniac billboard, sparkling with Kandi and shining flashing lights. She approaches the front and center of the rail, her usual favorite, as she looks up at the decks of The BassPod. She just looks, as she sips an acai berry smoothie out of a collectible cup. Cree: You look like a fucked up cupcake. SupaCree: You look like a fucked up cupcake, ate a fucked up cupcake, and then put on a sweater. Cree: Hey man. Fat is Fat. I'm in Infinite Eternity: INFINITE EDC, BITCH. SupaCree: Oh yeah? You like being the fattest fat ass dancing fatass at the everlasting motherfucking fatty fattass fat... dance... Cree: Hmmyeahh--Hows it feel being the lastest-fast-having-last past life past-afterlife--flattest -ass-last-fan-of-DillonFrancis-random-dancing-at-the-lostest-awful-rotten-sauced-forgotten-boss-of-not-a-lot-of-bought-a-bag of -frazzled-skrillex-dicks-you-wish-you-licked-but-didnt-cause-they-wouldnt let you in the the artist tent if you farted in it, in -different-dimensions you were in INFINITE but now you're ISNT-ISNT-ISNT IS THE CLOSEST cause you're not a fucking DJ BITCH, YOURE JUST A WISHIN WASHED UP WISHING WELL YOU'RE STILL FAT!! PPL ALTER EGO I wanna look like her! —oh, that's a guy —well, still. For I am just a shadow of what I once was; And all of a fraction of what I would become, Were it not for love There you are. There I was. Oh, my God. How long was I gone? Long. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Oh shit, that sounds F.U.N… FUN!? FUCK YOU, NIGGA! Oh good, the Dolphin On Wheels is here. "THIS. IS. OWSLAAAAAAA" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Serious as a Dillon Francis Bampheramph. What even IS that? You're looking at it. ________ NO PANTS! what?! (Takes off pants) HEY! NO PANTS, Dillon Francis! Have a banana. I don't wanna banana! I want pants! NO PANTS. gimmie your hat. (Leaves) It is. An Element. Can... I base... my survival solely on elements--is--the question. That is, actually--as it stands, what we were intended to do--I suppose. Elements. Alchemy. Alchemists. Ahhhh. Those. Ahhh. D-- Hmmm. Mmm. Okay. This is gonna take a long time to work out. What doesssss--- ...Hello… Aha-ahaha... ...What does Dillon Francis have to do with this? I don't know. *laughing in 4 different dimensions* I know, right? *snickers* Well, that's another drop in the Fuck-It Bucket Not that Bucket. [honks] Ahe, Hehehe I didn't-- Actually, I did know that-- I did know that-- I did know that I had two Fuck-It Buckets. I had forgotten... about all the buckets. Just like I almost about the Hellavator. How is that going, by the way. Oh what--the Hellevator--or the Party on the Hellevator? Or the scene...where Hanzel's on the...Hellevator with Dillon Francis? I-- *reacts in 4 different dimensions* Oh, wow. I know! It's gonna take forever. Forever's almost nothing compared to an eternity. Yeah--forever is almost nothing, compared to an eternity. *smacks lips* And then that, motherfucker… FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck that motherfucker. *sirens sounding* YEP. *blasting magic* Yep. ...yep. This is why we don't need a wand, anymore--because--you see that? Yep. Well, -- you don't see it, Well I mean, that's just part of the joy--you just know. You don't have to see it, you just know. Oh, you mean like... [mimicks ******** ] ..Kinda like that… But…??? Gonna Hit that red dot and never stop What's that--the 4th dimension? Ah, the 4th dimension. The “r” word Yeah, yeah, yeah Like political correctness even matters. The only thing that matters is matter And why have I never been for a Joyride? Last thing I remember, I was having the time of my life... [rifling through things, as Dillon sits down at his desk—he puts on a pair of librarian-like frames, adjusting them to fit at the nose] You don't wear glasses. Uh, I do wear glasses, I am wearing glasses. I just never—you know—thought of you, like— Yeah, well—not all of us are known by our trademark frames. I detect a hint of bitterness. Oh, you can detect that? What device do you have that does that? …...my...senses. Heh, you look like Katey Sagal. I love her. Same. [rifling through papers, doing office things] What's taking so long, Peg? Well, Al, if you must know it's going to take me a minute to get into my ‘Skrillex', it's been awhile. How long's awhile. Hey—you came through my panoramic window demanding Skrillex. Tsh, like it's never happened before. (Or like it's always, never happening) What? Hey—who said that? So how long's this gonna take? I'm gonna need you to exercise patience—that is, if you're familiar with excersise. PATIENCE?! What the fuck is Patience?? Are you done yet? Patience—patience—it's like—it's almost like “patients, like what a doctor has— —oh don't even— *hands up* Not gonna even. … … … Did you— I told you it has been a minute. >>>< >>>>>>> >>>>< What kind of company do you think I keep?! In this installment, which follows Scary Monsters and SupaCree and crosses over into both DILLONCEPTION, and enter the multiverse. Having nearly abandoning the ideal of becoming a superstar DJ, a reality she had previously become certain of, but given up on after being led to believe the DJ world is one ruled by white supremacy, SUPACREE, going by “CC” and operating under the pen name CC stone crafts a somewhat plausible future in entertainment, still creating music under the moniker “Sunni Blu” or DJ U, still passionately attached to Djing, though as a hobby, rather than as a potential career. In a pseudo-suicidal depressive state, our protagonist explores all the infinite realms of her own creation, drifting into a lucid God-Dream in which all the dimensions of her writings exist, in each respective reality, sometimes crossing timelines from one “fictional” realm into another, as the writer struggles with her own self-confidence and self-actualization. We Open With A Blockbuster-Style Movie Trailer. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- CUT TO: Sunni Blu is writing a Movie. —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. ___ Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. Jesus is watching “The Movie” So you swim into a port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what's the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They...don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. [Skrillex ]is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have [Skrillex.} Skrillex. How did you get a [Skrillex?] Just--[Skrillex.] “Just [Skrillex”?] The Original. Oh, shit. The Original [Skrillex.] Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] Oh what--[Skrillex?] We have [Skrillex!] You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's [Skrillex], isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eight Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? [Over the phone] ...She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing [Skrillex?] He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Black Jack. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no [Skrillex.] PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that [Skrillex?] Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. [Skrillex] has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in [Skrillex.] YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhile. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited [Skrillex.] Limited [Skrillex.] Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo and Wanda are on their way to The Event Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? [Skrillex!] He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! [Skrillex?!] Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! __ Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is [_____________]” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. [Skrillex] is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? [Skrillex] is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see [Skrillex] last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. Look,This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ To her suprise, some big-time hollywood producers have taken an interest in her script,; Because she has no formal work experience in the industry, she is being “coached” by seasoned industry professionals as the Film Goes into Pre-Production Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with [Skrillex.] [...Skrillex?] What [Skrillex?] It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no [Skrillex.] He is introduced as a character in Act... No, [Skrillex ]isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… [Sunni Blu (a.k.a. ‘Stone' omits page 45 from all of her written works.] “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. [Skrillex] did A [Skrillex.] Three People Know About It. [Skrillex] is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't expla

god america love jesus christ music american time death live movies father google babies power earth apple man mother rock pr moving water space hell online reality deep thinking nature dj food girl tips fun dance left gardens satan dad forever darkness drop event jewish dead gods 3d original grammy poor hotels iran divine stage nazis run hearts stone ufos beyonce hamilton stuck hits wars act happy birthday paradise tickets monkeys shooting michael jackson crash throw prophet gotta lol souls plays fuck invasion b2b vip guys window jail sleeping wtf powers imagination retreat lower halo patterns twelve elements bet ascension i am opens tennis squad pi prophets explain bitch punishment infinite mormon greed roller coasters careful contracts jumping sad void djs fat sol ev walks trains pages nah sauce mad element alchemy billie eilish surprised tenet permanent bucket perform ridiculous destroyed alchemists spiders trance turnaround bro ve socks bluetooth met gala spongebob squarepants rick and morty djing splash aha cc sends mm baldwin heavens voodoo sir skinny pornhub dimensions underworld takes uncertain jimmy fallon technically directions morty bad things cosmo welp miserable hmmm dang int prostitution santa clause eco lit umbrella gel staring hm charlie sheen avicii tying sticks and stones hoes pop tarts ran guardian angels tits skrillex insomniacs edc s p oh god bruh joyride yuck zooming mmm permanently oh my god method man se7en whatcha capone for free deadmau5 valet goddamn music production spirit world three times love it stfu lalo colosseum stunned flip flops yah sunni father time class action ummm fucked up ahem mainstage frantic did you know sweetie i won ascended masters commonalities pasquale dan harmon hehe kandi expansions og h nancy reagan dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust tsh hardstyle yas hah never again neva christian nation chel awww aww exaggerated r u ok mind blown ext heh crypt keeper fuck you god complex unh nooo no pants binoculars getter inhabitants three people volts on time uhh aight yeah right pft alternately deadass hot hot scary monsters noooooo sampled mmhmm jesus it psh agh viva mexico party party three cities yoooooo rezz katey sagal it does yuh free water what have you done what the fuck hahah yesh space wars god dream my future are you happy bigwig oh good northern america hanzel what have i done worldbuilders heeeeey owsla yeahhhhh admit it fvck hellevator uhhhhhh red cups thedarkside first of all ahe matt maeson oh my gods drop the bass sweet brown gretl nice sprites and nothing nyo source light faque to where allison wonderland awwwwwwww

Dillon Francis

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 61:15

I guess it just is what it is, then Comin fresh out the whip, like, “I'm off hiatus” Gonna jump for a swim in the ‘bitch,' Itchin drive me crazy; Gonna need 6-10 stitches, the doctor say He's in big business, with the witch Tengris– Gotta play Tennis while I watch Tenet all in ten minutes (On my small engine/indjun) Turn around do a spin, drift like i'm Ben Ten, And it's intense, like I been campin, –Then I ditched Skrillex. Just moved in, but it's been lived in Set some new intentions, Get bent, got some new addictions, spin zen, got some new additions Big Wig like I'm Hamilton in some New Editions Did some big mentions, I should send dick pics. Watch this. “It's Dillon Francis” Now I'm real famous, But i'm still nameless– I just made the game up, Still got jealous haters *coughs* I should say Gel-ous Cause she got her nails did *indjun; American slang for native or indigenous peoples of Northern America. [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT.] _________ [Three cross dimensions are about to collide into a singular reality. Three hospital rooms, three ensembles, three patients on their deathbeds;] Three Cities, Three Main Stages At Three Major Music Festivals. Three superstar DJs at the decks. Did we make it? Is it too late? Is she gone? Where is she? Are you serious? We're never gonna make it. NO! 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? "Are you okay?" This isn't happening. Do we have time? Never say Never. -We'll never make it -Don't say that! Are you ready? Yo, where IS she? He's like, crazy or something. She's crazy. This is craaaaazy. Ok, first of all-- Go! Go! Go, now! -So, she already told you beforehand? -Yes. NO! YES! YAAAAAAS. All dimensions: No/NO NO, OH GOD NO-- "YES, OH MY GOD" (sampled) (What?) "JESUS." (Sampled from, Coffee Run) (What?) Don't-- What are you doing here? (Angrily) Ū!!!! It's YOU! A group dancing to Soulja Boy (Youuuuuuuu!) (Rollercoaster sample from Scatta) I don't know, he's been, you know-- -Did you know? -No… -DID YOU KNOW? Know what? What? What is what? (From Deathbed) ...Water… Surprised reactions, at the bedside -Run! -How much time do we have? -Take all the time you need. Time...Ah, yes, I--yes, I remember Time... She says it all the time, I didn't think she'd actually– He's gone. She died, right? ------------ "Running Out Of Time" [Frazzled and haggardly beaten, having exhausted everything attempting to unravel an endless web of timelines tied together ultimately by inevitability, he frantically rifles through his apartment, tearing through every corner, fiending for any energy source. He uplifts the couch cushions, tossing away various (insert easter eggs here) objects, empty portal guns, as the vibrations from a buzzing phone alert him of an incoming call, he fishes armpit deep into the crevices, red faced and cracked lips, cursing: --c'mon, c'mon--how did this get so fucking DEEP. God DAMN IT-- ------ By Chak Chel's bedside, The Ascended Masters are gathered surrounding a weak and lifeless GOD/Chak Chel in her absolutely oldest physical body. Oh man, I don't think she can handle many more of these Damnations, it's just more and more damage… I told you we should have Destroyed that damn planet! She created that planet-- It's not about the planet, it's the inhabitants. If we annihilate humanity now, the planet itself may regenerate with time… Time…? I-- They all turn their heads toward Chak Chel, as she drifts back out of consciousness. PAUSE *EDIT* What? Just– What!? What would it be like to listen to some Skrillex right now? NO. NEVER AGAIN. [Thinking, drifts away.] *listening to deadmau5, thinking about Skrillex* Hmnnn. Moar Ghosts N' Stuff. *Synth Drops In* Nope, I'm Good lol. CUT TO: I told you I could be Joel's cat. Oh, wow, nice. JOEL NO, MEOWINGTONS, NYO !!!!!!!! Meheh. UNPAUSE CUT BACK TO: She's so lost to time... If she succumbs under this darkness, it could be eons before The Light is restored. It may never be. INSOLENT CREATURES! Perhaps we should prepare for invasion. Invasion? They are primitive beings, barely reached the outer realms of consciousness-- We'd be waging an all-out war, on an intergalactic scale; the magnitude of this could ripple through --infinite-- --infinite dimensions-- This is everything. Everything is Everything. Pft. Yeah--until it's nothing-- Oh, yeah--just add to the amount of negative energy-- might as Well just push her into The Void. I'll push you into The Void. Nothing I haven't been through. Yeah, dude, we've all been through The Void. ...I am The Void... I was at THE ASCENSION! Where were you?? (They argue loudly.) [The Crypt Keeper Lurks Silently in the corner.] Guys. [The room is in upheaval, an outroar of arguments have erupted amongst the Gods, the Ascended Masters and other chosen leaders from each realm throughout the multiverse. ] ...Shhht, quiet... [The Crypt Keeper slowly lifts up her staff, in slow motion ] (SUPACREE shakes her head at the crypt keeper, gesturing "no, don't" ) Guys. [As the crypt keeper lowers her staff, SupaCree begins to emit a shining white light.] GUYS! THE CRYPT KEEPER CHARGES HER STAFF INTO THE GROUND, SHAKING THE WORLD WITH A THUNDEROUS FORCE, THREE TIMES. The fabric of the entire multiverse begins to shatter. The room cowers in fear and uncertainty. CHAK CHEL (very weakly) Where's Dillon…he...he should be back by now… Wait, Dillon- Dillon WHO!? Dillon Francis? Wait--what? Dillon Francis, are you serious? Oh, God-- --Shh-- Sorry, I just--seriously--? Dillon Francis. It's always Dillon Francis. Tell me about it, Jesus Christ-- --SHH--!! It's fine, I put the light inside of that one. What light? You put the Divine light of The Source inside of that guy? I'm not a--wait--what light? What's a "Dillon Francis?" We had to hide it. CHAK CHEL Dillon? ...he...he should be here by now,-- I--I have to give him more time… Wow, Dillon Fucking--the whole time– (Tying into the dimension where SupaCree has just divulged that her favorite DJ is Dillon Francis.) That's her apprentice? What! Explains how he's always everywhere, I guess-- Except here. --yeah, where IS he anyway? Yeah, I mean--he should have been here awhile ago. What the fuck does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? I mean really. [The Gods have quietly moved into a secret chamber, hidden from the rest of the–] WHAT THE FUCK. WHO did this? We had to act quickly-- It was a unified decision; DECISION BY WHO? [They fall quiet.] WHOSE idea was it to hide the Divine light of the source within this--this--imperfect and flawed excuse for a body? What genetic catastrophe allowed for this creature to have been created? Her genetic code is what allowed us to be able to-- --THE GODS ARE CREATED IN OUR IMAGE! WHAT TAINTED IMAGE IS THIS? ITS AS IF SATAN CREATED IT, IF SATAN COULD-- ...Satan Sealed The Shield... [The Gods all react in surprise and horror.] ...What… WHAT? You entrusted SATAN with the encryption of The– Not me. Chak Chel. WHAT? ...what? Why would...why would… Why would she trade her immortality for– She sacrificed her connection to The Source? What for? She would sacrifice anything to save humanity from extinction. She...loves that planet, and its inhabitants. She believed in the overall good of humankind, that they could one day come to know Love. To Be Love. She was created and designed specifically to be the embodiment of life and light itself-- The Prophecy (III) [THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled, the ensemble shieled by an ‘inpenatrable' invisible forcefield; SUPACREE senses the energy field, Which she walks into, nonchalantly.] She has awakened her consciousness far more quickly than was ever expected-- The Origins Once we send her back, she will have been three times resurrected from Death. How is she to bring these...this planet so drowned in darkness into the light? She can. She will. She has. There have been innumerous witnesses to the manifestations and miracles the power of the light has given her. And she's yet to use the entirety of the Source power to its full potential. Still, these instances of power manifestation have left a shockwave amidst many, even the Prophets, as foretold have discussed a solidified following amongst the alchemists, sorcerer-- --even mortals who have come to practice in the occult sciences-- She has believers. (Uhh...I think it's a cult. What's a cult?) In the dimension where the world has succumb to darkness-- -The Mormons!? -Oh, really? Hm. -Jesus. [Enter Mormon Jesus] In the same reality, Which SUPACREE has been trapped in for nearly a eternity in entirety now, she sits drenched in sweat inside her car, as onlookers from the surrounding affluent neighborhood peer into the vehicle with disgust; she looks much like a crackhead talking to herself; however, Jesus, Neva, Se7en and Goldie's anamorphosis personifications by The Guardian Angels accompany her, Avicii, also omnipresent, but unable to be seen or heard in the material reality, even between The Spirit World, which SUPACREE has journeyed deeply into, in search of Chak Chel--who has consistently been leaving hints in Nature, guiding her eventually into "God" (A Long Drive, With You, Friends) A very Jewish woman sneers, glaring at SUPACREE through the window. Telepathically, very loud and disapproving of here mere presense. (CONT'D) … She just doesn't believe in herself. The Darkness has been working to weaken the potential of The Light for quite some time now. There is an evil in the power of man, darkness in the consumption of currency-- --she's been targeted by her own country as an enemy, which the world powers see as a threat-- --her, a threat--? --she had political ambitions. These men wage war over currency, the hypocrisy of religion. America. She has the ability to be one of the most powerful leaders in human history. She acts instinctively in Love. A target? Her world has been long lost from love, succumbed to the darkness, the primitive error of man. Greed. She has overcome more alienation, more life altering loss of light in just this lifetime than can And, has been raised by the shepherds and priests in the teachings of the great kingdom. She brings herself to Death in despair and sadness. She cannot live with the power of The Source Light in the loss of Love; the pain becomes too great. And now? She's been bestowed by the ancients the wisdom of her true origins. So she knows… She knows that in the absence of Love, there is no Life left to light. Love is the thing that weaves together the fabric of space and time. Reality Is… AH, JESUS CHRIST! SUPACREE appears behind DILLON FRANCIS in the doorway silently. The Bampheramph Line rings, he hopes it is Hanzel--it is Chak Chel--he rolls his eyes, tossing his phone to the side You should probably answer that. DILLON FRANCIS You should probably shut the fuck up, how about that? SUPACREE Relax. I need you to listen to me--remember that thing-- DILLON FRANCIS Which THING? EVERYTHING? Like EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING? Like that!? Huh! SUPACREE ...yes, it's that exactly, actually. DILLON FRANCIS. "Exactly, actually--actually," SUPACREE appears in full form, out of the translucency of the higher realms and into the personification of the third dimensional realm. SUPACREE Come on, dude, we don't have time for this! DILLON FRANCIS Time? What the fuck is time? SUPACREE Come on, Dillon, we really don't have time for this, I'll explain it-- DILLON FRANCIS Explain it when? When you have time? [He turns to see her, standing in the doorway; A simple plain white T shirt and blue jeans.] (gh0st.) SUPACREE I'm trying to tell you, dude. It's time. DILLON FRANCIS Wait, why do you look--wait, which dimension is--whats different about--wait (Sampled "Wait", at the crosswalk) sneakers launch from the sidewalk and into the busy intersection, in a sprint. "Two genres: Hardstyle, and Country." "I don't know what the 3rd world war will be fought with, but the 4th will be with sticks and stones." This begins the battle against "good" and "evil", " darkness" and "light", "life" and "death"--but as the Source, Gods and Ascended Masters all know, that all are one in the same--that these concepts only exist within a primitive human psyche. The collective consciousness of "hybrids", hyper-intellectual "human" individuals with extraterrestrial origins and ancient ancestors, predating the human era (which some distant--even technologically-- advanced beings amongst intelligent civilizations throughout the cosmos infinite galaxies ever expanding throughout the outer realms of the multiverse, all of consciousness "And there is no "all", because infinite means that it has yet to end." *Moving sand (the universe) into a giant space dump truck/space dump.* ...is that all of it? SŪPA and SKRILLEX, after both having been involuntarily flung "around" an infinitely expanding universe, are finally head to head after hunting each other in realms beyond time and space for literal eternities; The peak of their confused fury comes to a face-to-face blowout, to which the likes the Heavens nor the Underworld ever have seen. In dimensions where people are tuning in on multi/interdimensional cable, the audience is glued to their seats. (People in rural areas are going through obscene and ridiculous lengths to get a signal so that they can tune in. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: RICK AND MORTY MORTY Ohhh, oh shit Rick! I-its that show, with the--uhh, uhhh... RICK Which 'uhh-uhhs', Morty--the big ones, or the little ones? MORTY Uhhh–'Flying Magic DJ Monkey Unicorn Space...Wars...I think. RICK Oh, you mean ‘Space Rave? You mean like, where they're at a rave *belch* in-in-in Space? Or something like that? MORTY No, it's Monkey Flying Magic DJ...Monkey… RICK --You said "monkey" twice-- MORTY (CONT'D) ...Space Wars… RICK I don't know, Morty--last time I allowed myself to participate in a music festival, it got, uh, *coughs* It got pretty deep. Flashback: DILLON PICKLE FRANCIS// PICKLE RICK Flashback Within Flashback :The Hellavator Flashback within Flashback Within Flashback: SŪPA dropping the bass, eliminating RIck and Morty/justin roiland (and Dan Harmon, I guess) from existence in entirety. RICK ...yeah, I uhh. Let-uh-let me see that. [He takes the remote control from morty, switching between the channels. They are all SupaTV original series, eventually skipping past 'Ricky and Mo', an over stereotypically alternate Rick and Morty, where the characters are black. (And features an animated Ricky (from Run Ricky Run) as its main character. RICK [w/MORTY] What the-- MORTY Go back, Rick! Everybody's favorite DJ is about to battle her favorite DJ. RICK --who, what? H-h-holdon-- MORTY, rushing over to the television, hurriedly switches the channel back manually to its original channel, from a dimension where the drama has been documented as a melodramatic soap opera meets gameshow. ANNOUNCER [W/MORTY] DUEL! RICK Duel the wha--oh my God, what is she doing with that chicken wing--? Ū! RICK This is just, brutal-- MORTY That was just a highlight. The boss fight is live. RICK Boss fight... Live--wait a minute--i know that lady! F I G H T. [HANZEL and GRETL are, of course, selling scalped tickets and portal guns to fans who have been following along as the series progresses, They play a 'Deep Deep Deep Bass House' HANZEL (it's a new genre) B2B set, which emits a magical low frequency bass, opening teleportals which immediately transport attendees into the Colosseum, where a furious SONNY/SKRILLEX and a rage-fueled SŪP∆CREE have "randomly" (actually, the result of a carefully planned (and in some dimensions/worlds, failed series of coordinated efforts from various sides, creating wormholes, time gaps, opening (and/or closing) portals with certain intentions, and creating "coincidences" between their two worlds which ultimately expand or collapse the respective universes within the multiverse at their centers. [The festival is in full swing; Behind the scenes, our beloved DJs ready themselves accordingly. ] Everybody's there. (Also, this is where "Everyone's a DJ now" gets really out of control.) *spoiler alert* DJ battle underway. This is the all-out cage match of magic music ninja All the Rave Weaponry. All the Jesus. Everything. The calm before the storm: The theatre and excitement of the largest scale highest production quality and rave culture values ever known to man (or otherwise). A living, breathing ECO system which expands outward, the Colosseum at it's center, where sparkles with the decadence of the Mainstage. Unassumingly, strolling along stage right SKRILLEX sips on a refreshing beverage--surrounded by his entourage and bodyguard, as per the usual. Stage left, SŪPA and her #squad are big chillin', eating lollipops, ice cream cones, popsicles, and cupcakes… super classy. *supaclassy. DILLON FRANCIS lurks nervously in the background. (He's in the background of every scene, in different clothing, Bampheramphing hectically and sweating bullets. *probably on something. In some cut scenes he is in SŪPA's entourage, in drag--eating a taco, or hot wing rather than candy. He is still being flung around the infinite multiverse, both with purpose and intention for each "side", and has become something of a omni-agent, completing tasks within the multiverse for almost every force imaginable (and yet to be imagined, infinitely forever after.) SŪP∆, after being transported through a multilayered wormhole, threaded across the Insomniac (and live nation) festivals and concerts she's attended throughout the years and dimensions. Uncertain of which actual realm and dimension she's ended up in, (obviously, one where her SŪP∆ Brand has become a success, realizing her dreams of becoming a "superstar DJ") without the panel, she must summon her forceful energy and light magic by combining her natural intuitive powers and ancient knowledge insight. She performs various tests within her current reality, as she 'attempts' to recover and pull herself back together, having been only just moments ago cosmically annihilated for a series of infinite eternities, whilst looking for Skrillex. Luckily, she still possesses the Golden Flash drive. It is the final of her array of rave weapons, and by far most powerful. Skrillex is Skrillex. They lock eyes from across the stage. An explosion. -blam- (MIND = BLOWN.) (((throughout the dimensions))) AAARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEE TV VIEWERS: nervous/excited/scared/happy/sad MORTY Oh, shit! It's on! It's on! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE SEEN HER! HE SEEN HER! *tribal dancing*/chanting* DILLON FRANCIS from center Sees SŪP∆CREE seeing SKRILLEX, squinting in confisiouson (when you think so hard, you momentarily turn into confucius.) She's mad. DILLON FRANCIS Oh--NOOO. He snaps his neck in the opposite direction, to see SKRILLEX seeing SŪP∆CREE, squinting Skrillex-y. (That's extra, extra hard.) He's mad. DILLON FRANCIS OH GOD, NO! He morphs into DILLON GLANCES and DILLON FLANCES, respectively. (3) Wtf is this like a fucked up shadow-clone juitsu? Just– DILLON FRANCIS (To Dillon Glances: giving him the Golden Flash drive) I have to--I gotta--just take th- DILLON GLANCES I can't. DILLON FRANCIS You CAN. DILLON GLANCES I can't. I'm not a DJ. DILLON FRANCIS Everyone's a fucking DJ, DO IT. DILLOn GLANCES Jesus. DILLON FRANCIS: JUST DO IT. [They run off in three seperate directions: DILLON FRANCIS runs to center stage, attempting to prevent the all out massacre of DJ dueling about to take place…] DILLON FLANCES runs into the festival's huge and quickly growing-crowd, as people literally appear out of various portals and wormholes from all over the multiverse. crowds of party goers, exiting them, attempting to open portals to evacuate them to a less fragile timeline. DILLON GLANCES, who is–in fact– not a DJ, a Bampheramph, or time traveler of any sort.. (by any purposeful means, anyway. He " just kind of gets "sucked in to this shit") —eventually crowning him as an Honorary Bampheramph (which people hate, because it's still an extension of Dillon Francis.) —-posing as Dillon Frances, steps up to the decks SKRILLEX and SŪP∆ charge towards each other furiously-- Nobody knows what to do. As they draw closer to each other, radiating in fury and anger, they each explode. SŪP∆: YOÜ. SKRILLEX: YOŪ. They charge forward. BOTH: AHHHHHHHH!!!! An energy field opens; invisible energies take on color and shape in the outer worlds. Reality shifts. yelling. BOTH: WHERES MY MUSIC? BOTH: YOUR MUSIC?! BOTH: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SKRILLEX: No, who the fuck are youuu! SŪP∆: NO, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? (Simultaneously, to stage managers) SŪP∆: what is HE doing here? SKRILLEX: what is SHE doing here? BOTH: I'M ON THE LINEUP. SŪP∆: Of Course you're on the lineup. SKRILLEX Oh please, How did YOU get on the lineup? DILLON FRANCIS *Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, very out of breath and almost dead, still bleeding from open heart surgery through his shirt, face covered in hot wing sauce* Let me explain… BOTH: DILLON FRANCIS?!? BAMPHERAMPHS: ((From across the stage, viewing with Binoculars.)) …Dillon Francis? —Dillon Francis? What is he doing here? –Ugh, Seriously. Dillon Francis Again? DJ RICH AS FUCK Yo, Fuck Dillon Francis. DILLON FRANCIS Yeah, fuck Dillon Francis. … ...Aren't you Dillon Francis…? DILLON FRANCIS [Pointing at himself, on the stage. No, that's Dillon Francis. They turn to look back at the stage, DILLON FRANCIS vanishes. What the-- SUPACREE/SKRILLEX: (Now with anger directed towards Dillon) What are you doing here? DILLON FRANCIS: *Dazed and confused* Uh--I'm on the lineup. SŪP∆: How? SKRILLEX: Why? DILLON FRANCIS: Jesus Christ, I don't know, ok? Just please don't-- SŪP∆: Don't ‘WHAT Dillon Francis? blast this lil motherfucker out of every kind of fathomable existence with a billion giggatwats of NUCLEAR BASS? ! LIKE, THREE PEOPLE (at least) Giggatwats? DOC BROWN Gooodddamn. [GOD is going mad from all the goddamned goddamns. The Hellavator, hanging by not even a thread, has gone into its final stages of devastation and horror, as it nears taking its eternally damning plunge into the nearly infinite caverns of the underworld, Satan's domain of darkness.] Meanwhile, in multiple other dimensions: Have you seen the lineup? Are we going? We're going. We have to go. RAVEEEEE. Ohhhh shit. No. I'm not going. I have to go! Where are you guys going? PASQUALE: (flashback, daisy overalls.) You guys, where are we going? The brothers are looking through a futuristic digital catalogue of intergalactic raves throughout time and space. Yoooooo. What--you find something? Yoooooo. ...is it good? (Shows the lineup, obscured from view of the camera) FVCK. YAS. All the 'yas' SAUCE. All the sauce. Yo what planet is this even; what dimension is this in, like? Says, Earth. Earth?! No fucking way, earth doesn't have raves in any dimension I've ever heard of. [Coming in from other room.] Where doesn't have raves? Earth. Yo, what the fuck is "Earth." Bet you it's fake. Bet you it's not. Check on it. Google. Google Ūniverse is a holographic multidimensional map of their galaxy's known multiverse. They scroll through eons of galaxies, solar systems, planets, and stars the likes of which make our own galaxy, and our own sun appear to be nothing but specs of dust. Where is it? I don't see it anywhere. I told you it was fake. No. Keep going. Further. Keep going… Are you serious, where is this planet. Are you sure it's a planet? It's gotta be. Dude, there's nothing out here. Keep going. To what. This looks like a black hole ate a black whole. Something like that, what's that there? This puny galaxy? I don't think that's a galaxy. Oh, it is… They all tilt their heads, squinting. ...or.. was… They tilt their heads to the opposite side, squinting. ...or might be, someday. Or something. I don't know man, looks kinda fragile. 'Explore' "The Milkyway Galaxy" Ew. What is it? It's so dark. Well yeah, look at that tiny Sol. There's only...wait how many planets--? It's not much. I don't know man--you wanna go to a rave here? That's… (Shows the advertisement) Oh wow… Looks back at our galaxy, with a discerning consideration, then back at the ad, then back up at the "universe" I don't know man. That's way out there. Like...nowhere, actually. [Scrunched face of disapproval] "Earth." Come on guys. I mean-- (Plays promo) [EDC] DAMN. Aight. OKAY. Woooow. They all look back at the map, worriedly. Zooming in on earth. Mmkayyy. Hmmm. Yeah, this thing looks fragile. Yeah,look at that weird axis. (Wobbles) That can't last too long. This entire universe is on the verge of collapse. How did that...even...happen? The whole thing is like... All: huh. ...if we leave now, we can make it, gates open. Over 20 stages, live art, food-- --FOOD-- ...and...wait, that can't be right. This says "free water" WHAT? FREE WATER? OH WHAT. A RAVE SLASH INVASION? we don't have to invade if they're just giving it away FOR FREE. Free. Water. Psh. Water. It's a trap! Could be. Yeah, Free Water. ...it says...the almost the entire surface of this planet is what? What? That seems dangerous. It's almost entirely water, guys. That's impossible. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. IN-FIN-ATE. Nothing is impossible. But I thought nothing was nothing. Nothing is nothing. It's also something. And everything. Which is also nothing. But I thought everything was everything. Yes, which includes, and simultaneously also excludes but certainly not limited to, nothing. But when does it end? It...it doesn't, it just (gestures)...infinite. you know? So it just...doesn't… Stop? Yeah. No. It just keeps-- Yeah. Going. --and then nothing. Which is something. Yeah, nothing's something. Then what's something. Something's a something-- Anything. Some-thing. Yeah, but 'some' is just 'some' thing, not everything. Yeah, everything--anything. Anything can be something, and something can be anything. Which-- Which means,nothing's nothing--something can be anything, and anything can be something; which is everything. And-- Nothing. --so-- Infinite. “Once Upon A Dillon Francis” Once Upon a Dillon Francis… AGH. No. Start over. Uh, ok. Once upon a Dillon Francis. Stop saying that. Yuck. Why are you saying that? What? Once Upon a Dillon Francis? That makes Dillon Francis sound like Father Time! Yaghh! Okay? You can't say that. Why? Because he isn't. He could be. But he's not. So? Just. Go back. Okay...Once Upon A Dillon Francis. (Groans) Ok. Stop it. This isn't working. Because you're not letting me even-- No story ever started with Once Upon A Dillon Francis. This one might! If it starts with Dillon Francis, where would it-- Imagination is the key to all creativity. You made that up. I'm making up the whole thing! What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything-- He doesn't. Just listen! I'm not listening to anything that starts with Dillon Francis. Well what would you rather me say, once upon a Skrillex? Now that's more like it! No, it's not. It's just unsettling. It is. You know what! Forget it. There's no story. What, because there's no Dillon Francis? Exactly. What? Because. Ï You... I don't know about this Just keep-- This makes me feel some kind of wha. What kind of way every kind of way-- wait. “Remember Ryan” I do remember Ryan “Fuck Dillon Francis” Rich Nigga Shit. And your shirt. So-- So?! Who the fuck is this guy? He's Dillon Francis. No, who the fuck is he?! Not who-- Huh? What. Whatthefuck-- What? WHAT? Hanzel (& Gretl) are originally from Hell or 'The Dark Side', this gives reasoning to their stoic and sometimes henius mannerisms. Halo by Beyonce is multidimensional (listen, study) This car needs some wheels is about loving yourself (and to learn how to love someone else) "The Skrillex" The Cosmic Owl Chak Chel's Family-- The brothers Bampheramphs --old people -&Sonny/old lady in the park dog walking Rick n roll--dillon pickle Francis/pickle rick roll) (rock n roll) will take you to the the mountain No boys allowed//no Skrillex allowed Wait here. Why can't I just come with you? No boys allowed. Can't you see the sign on the door? What sign on the door? She places a sign on the door. Wait here. But. 5 minutes. Walks in, shutting door behind her. But. Opens sliding window hatch on door, peeking out. I'll be right back. But. A note is shoved backwards through the mail slot, and floats down between his feet. He picks it up to read it; it is a blank sheet of paper. He deflates. Gleeful girly cheers and chatter, laughter and and upbeat music from the other side of the door; an obvious party starts inside. Hours pass, Sonny is falling asleep standing up. He hears 3 women approaching, and excitedly shakes himself awake. He stands to the side, posing. What's up! (They cannot hear or see him. he isn't yet aware of the forcefield placed around him, for his protection (as he is being hunted throughout the universe.) Girl: Dude, I can't believe you know Rezz. Hey! Girl 2: yeah that's sooo cool. Girl: Yeah, VIP. Is like-- Girl: Oh my God, I bet it's like so lit. Girl: So Lit. Girl: Oh my God, yeah. I'm definitely doing VIP next year. Girl: Definitely. Girl: So worth it. Girl: So like, what time does it start-start? Girl: ummm, I don't know, but I think we're like early. Early!? Girl: Should I--oh, hey--im getting a call. It's the other DJ, I think she's inside already. (It's Ū) Girl: Hello? What up Ū! Ū? Hey! Heeeeey! Girl: yeah, we're at the door. Ohhhh shit, for real? Ok. (hangs up) yeah, she said she'll be down here in like, 5 minutes. Apparently the music's bumping, they couldn't even hear us at the door. Psh. 5 minutes yeah right. Girl: daynmm. Girl: yeah, there's like 10 famous DJs in there in there right now. Look at this snapchat I got earlier. Daaaam. Lit. I heard there's gonna be more. Is that Allison Wonderland? Allison Wonderland opens the door. Hi Guys! No way! It is Allison Wonderland! Hey!! Come on in guys! Girl: (closest to Sonny, but walking towards the door) wait, did you guys hear that weird. Girl: kind of, not really Girl: yeah I don't really believe in ghosts, but sometimes-- By now, Sonny has noticed that he hasn't been seen or heard by anyone and assumes his likely invisibility. However Allison Wonderland, being a DJ, has the ability to see through this force field (unbeknownst to him that it even exists.) Sonny stands at the door, staring. She stares back expressionlessly, straight into his soul with indifference of his presence. A brief silence, before Sonny furroughs his brows. She just stares at him. ...wait, can you see me? ...No. She shuts the door. Jack and Jill I'm elessian park You left your sister where Doctors A-Z (doctor p's planet; boogie t distant relative) Scary OWSLA (1000 VOLTS, WESTWOOD) GIANT JOSH PANDA THE SOUL SALESMEN THE CIA/FBI/MEN IN BLACK DONT FUCK WITH TIME (IRL) FROZEN SKRILLEX FOREST FIRE (REZZ) Ralph, Wendy, Denny, Trader Joe Mr moto guy Tips>>>SKRILLEX I thought we were done writing these. I guess not. Get the fuck back, Dillon Francis. Woah, I--okay. JUST STEP BACK. That's a gun! It's a bayonet. That's...where did you even get something like that? I time travel. That...makes sense. It has to. Wenzday. She's pretty. Aren't they all. They are. Maybe her. Anyone but you, huh? How would it ever be me? Still don't believe? How could I ever believe. They're all perfect. And Talented. And white. Can't forget white. And thin. Never forget thin. So why would it ever be me? Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe's a maybe. And a Skrillex is a Skrillex. And Sonny's a Sonny. So-- So, Billie Ellish. My Future. See you in a couple years. Its chasing a wild goose. It's chasing monsters and sprites. It's chasing, but only if you're running. Run, Sunni-- Run Sonny-- Run. This goes around in circles. Goes around like seagulls in the sky. Getter. What did getter do? What did Skrillex do? What does Dillon Francis Have to do with anything? Nothing. Jimmy Fallon --was never nothing-- What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? Still don't know. What about Pasqualle? Still don't know. And Skrillex? Fuck--I really don't know. Don't you? Alright. What do you know? Commonalities. And? Patterns. And…? Red Cups, Beer Bottles, and Pop-Tarts. What's it look like? A shallow pool of hard liquor. So? So, they can afford alcoholism. You see it that way? I don't see. Don't you? That's the same question twice. It's the same question, infinitely. Who are you? Who am I? Exactly. What's your DJ name? Depends on the day. What's your name, now? I'm Sunni. To replace Sonny? Nothing replaces that. What's in the music? An algorithm--a hidden code, maybe? Maybe. Maybe's still a maybe.[ What are they looking for? A savior? Now you've given yourself a God Complex. As if the world already hadn't. The world had, I just refused to accept it. Until? Until everything. At once, right? And nothing. Why does Annie keep coming up? You must be on her mind. I'm dead to her. Who? Exactly. She thinks you'll make up. Please. She's latna and native. And an alcoholic. So. So she's perfect. So she is. I'm not forgiving her. Again. Maybe you don't have to. If the DJs want her, they can have her. She's a perfect storm of a hoe. Hoes are fun. Until they're not. What are you? A ghost. Why does she keep coming up? I don't know. I've had two dreams about her. She misses you. I could give a fuck. You could? IDGAFOS. Happy Birthday, Dillon Francis. But you won't tell him. His fandom will. I'm done inboxing people. These people live on beaches; I'm a grain of sand. So go find your beach. Viva Mexico. Probably so, huh? Probably. Left in a world without people, realizing she is completely alone, Punishment be ones Paradise, as she enjoys all her favorite places, without the pollution, population or politics in her way. The happiest she's ever been, she approaches EMPTY EDC, still perfectly intact with the gates wide open. She runs inside,losing her mind-- and then losing her enthusiasm entirely, realizing she cannot dance in silence, or operate any of the rides by herself (which, in one dimension higher, she uses the power of the mind to start manifesting all the things she needs,creating a perfect EDC) however, in the most limited dimension, where even manifestation can be fathomed, and no use of magic, she sadly strolls through the empty carnival--though, having found solace in the typically overpriced fashion and merchandice apparel, has ransacked the empty and abandoned shops, looking ridiculously ravey, looking like a 3D insomniac billboard, sparkling with Kandi and shining flashing lights. She approaches the front and center of the rail, her usual favorite, as she looks up at the decks of The BassPod. She just looks, as she sips an acai berry smoothie out of a collectible cup. Cree: You look like a fucked up cupcake. SupaCree: You look like a fucked up cupcake, ate a fucked up cupcake, and then put on a sweater. Cree: Hey man. Fat is Fat. I'm in Infinite Eternity: INFINITE EDC, BITCH. SupaCree: Oh yeah? You like being the fattest fat ass dancing fatass at the everlasting motherfucking fatty fattass fat... dance... Cree: Hmmyeahh--Hows it feel being the lastest-fast-having-last past life past-afterlife--flattest -ass-last-fan-of-DillonFrancis-random-dancing-at-the-lostest-awful-rotten-sauced-forgotten-boss-of-not-a-lot-of-bought-a-bag of -frazzled-skrillex-dicks-you-wish-you-licked-but-didnt-cause-they-wouldnt let you in the the artist tent if you farted in it, in -different-dimensions you were in INFINITE but now you're ISNT-ISNT-ISNT IS THE CLOSEST cause you're not a fucking DJ BITCH, YOURE JUST A WISHIN WASHED UP WISHING WELL YOU'RE STILL FAT!! PPL ALTER EGO I wanna look like her! —oh, that's a guy —well, still. For I am just a shadow of what I once was; And all of a fraction of what I would become, Were it not for love There you are. There I was. Oh, my God. How long was I gone? Long. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Oh shit, that sounds F.U.N… FUN!? FUCK YOU, NIGGA! Oh good, the Dolphin On Wheels is here. "THIS. IS. OWSLAAAAAAA" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Serious as a Dillon Francis Bampheramph. What even IS that? You're looking at it. ________ NO PANTS! what?! (Takes off pants) HEY! NO PANTS, Dillon Francis! Have a banana. I don't wanna banana! I want pants! NO PANTS. gimmie your hat. (Leaves) It is. An Element. Can... I base... my survival solely on elements--is--the question. That is, actually--as it stands, what we were intended to do--I suppose. Elements. Alchemy. Alchemists. Ahhhh. Those. Ahhh. D-- Hmmm. Mmm. Okay. This is gonna take a long time to work out. What doesssss--- ...Hello… Aha-ahaha... ...What does Dillon Francis have to do with this? I don't know. *laughing in 4 different dimensions* I know, right? *snickers* Well, that's another drop in the Fuck-It Bucket Not that Bucket. [honks] Ahe, Hehehe I didn't-- Actually, I did know that-- I did know that-- I did know that I had two Fuck-It Buckets. I had forgotten... about all the buckets. Just like I almost about the Hellavator. How is that going, by the way. Oh what--the Hellevator--or the Party on the Hellevator? Or the scene...where Hanzel's on the...Hellevator with Dillon Francis? I-- *reacts in 4 different dimensions* Oh, wow. I know! It's gonna take forever. Forever's almost nothing compared to an eternity. Yeah--forever is almost nothing, compared to an eternity. *smacks lips* And then that, motherfucker… FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck that motherfucker. *sirens sounding* YEP. *blasting magic* Yep. ...yep. This is why we don't need a wand, anymore--because--you see that? Yep. Well, -- you don't see it, Well I mean, that's just part of the joy--you just know. You don't have to see it, you just know. Oh, you mean like... [mimicks ******** ] ..Kinda like that… But…??? Gonna Hit that red dot and never stop What's that--the 4th dimension? Ah, the 4th dimension. The “r” word Yeah, yeah, yeah Like political correctness even matters. The only thing that matters is matter And why have I never been for a Joyride? Last thing I remember, I was having the time of my life... [rifling through things, as Dillon sits down at his desk—he puts on a pair of librarian-like frames, adjusting them to fit at the nose] You don't wear glasses. Uh, I do wear glasses, I am wearing glasses. I just never—you know—thought of you, like— Yeah, well—not all of us are known by our trademark frames. I detect a hint of bitterness. Oh, you can detect that? What device do you have that does that? …...my...senses. Heh, you look like Katey Sagal. I love her. Same. [rifling through papers, doing office things] What's taking so long, Peg? Well, Al, if you must know it's going to take me a minute to get into my ‘Skrillex', it's been awhile. How long's awhile. Hey—you came through my panoramic window demanding Skrillex. Tsh, like it's never happened before. (Or like it's always, never happening) What? Hey—who said that? So how long's this gonna take? I'm gonna need you to exercise patience—that is, if you're familiar with excersise. PATIENCE?! What the fuck is Patience?? Are you done yet? Patience—patience—it's like—it's almost like “patients, like what a doctor has— —oh don't even— *hands up* Not gonna even. … … … Did you— I told you it has been a minute. >>>< >>>>>>> >>>>< What kind of company do you think I keep?! In this installment, which follows Scary Monsters and SupaCree and crosses over into both DILLONCEPTION, and enter the multiverse. Having nearly abandoning the ideal of becoming a superstar DJ, a reality she had previously become certain of, but given up on after being led to believe the DJ world is one ruled by white supremacy, SUPACREE, going by “CC” and operating under the pen name CC stone crafts a somewhat plausible future in entertainment, still creating music under the moniker “Sunni Blu” or DJ U, still passionately attached to Djing, though as a hobby, rather than as a potential career. In a pseudo-suicidal depressive state, our protagonist explores all the infinite realms of her own creation, drifting into a lucid God-Dream in which all the dimensions of her writings exist, in each respective reality, sometimes crossing timelines from one “fictional” realm into another, as the writer struggles with her own self-confidence and self-actualization. We Open With A Blockbuster-Style Movie Trailer. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- CUT TO: Sunni Blu is writing a Movie. —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. ___ Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. Jesus is watching “The Movie” So you swim into a port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what's the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They...don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. [Skrillex ]is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have [Skrillex.} Skrillex. How did you get a [Skrillex?] Just--[Skrillex.] “Just [Skrillex”?] The Original. Oh, shit. The Original [Skrillex.] Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] Oh what--[Skrillex?] We have [Skrillex!] You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's [Skrillex], isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eight Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? [Over the phone] ...She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing [Skrillex?] He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Black Jack. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no [Skrillex.] PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that [Skrillex?] Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. [Skrillex] has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in [Skrillex.] YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhile. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited [Skrillex.] Limited [Skrillex.] Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo and Wanda are on their way to The Event Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? [Skrillex!] He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! [Skrillex?!] Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! __ Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is [_____________]” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. [Skrillex] is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? [Skrillex] is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see [Skrillex] last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. Look,This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ To her suprise, some big-time hollywood producers have taken an interest in her script,; Because she has no formal work experience in the industry, she is being “coached” by seasoned industry professionals as the Film Goes into Pre-Production Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with [Skrillex.] [...Skrillex?] What [Skrillex?] It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no [Skrillex.] He is introduced as a character in Act... No, [Skrillex ]isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… [Sunni Blu (a.k.a. ‘Stone' omits page 45 from all of her written works.] “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. [Skrillex] did A [Skrillex.] Three People Know About It. [Skrillex] is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't expla

god america love jesus christ music american time death live movies father google babies power earth apple man mother rock pr moving water space hell online reality deep thinking nature dj food girl tips fun dance left gardens satan dad forever darkness drop event jewish dead gods 3d original grammy poor hotels iran divine stage nazis run hearts stone ufos beyonce hamilton stuck hits wars act happy birthday paradise tickets monkeys shooting michael jackson crash throw prophet gotta lol souls plays fuck invasion b2b vip guys window jail sleeping wtf powers imagination retreat lower halo patterns twelve elements bet ascension i am opens tennis squad pi prophets explain bitch punishment infinite mormon greed roller coasters careful contracts jumping sad void djs fat sol ev walks trains pages nah sauce mad element alchemy billie eilish surprised tenet permanent bucket perform ridiculous destroyed alchemists spiders trance turnaround bro ve socks bluetooth met gala spongebob squarepants rick and morty djing splash aha cc sends mm baldwin heavens voodoo sir skinny pornhub dimensions underworld takes uncertain jimmy fallon technically directions morty bad things cosmo welp miserable hmmm dang int prostitution santa clause eco lit umbrella gel staring hm charlie sheen avicii tying sticks and stones hoes pop tarts ran guardian angels tits skrillex insomniacs edc s p oh god bruh joyride yuck zooming mmm permanently oh my god method man se7en whatcha capone for free deadmau5 valet goddamn music production spirit world three times love it stfu lalo colosseum stunned flip flops yah sunni father time class action ummm fucked up ahem mainstage frantic did you know sweetie i won ascended masters commonalities pasquale dan harmon hehe kandi expansions og h nancy reagan dillon francis motherfuckers in god we trust tsh hardstyle yas hah never again neva christian nation chel awww aww exaggerated r u ok mind blown ext heh crypt keeper fuck you god complex unh nooo no pants binoculars getter inhabitants three people volts on time uhh aight yeah right pft alternately deadass hot hot scary monsters noooooo sampled mmhmm jesus it psh agh viva mexico party party three cities yoooooo rezz katey sagal it does yuh free water what have you done what the fuck hahah yesh space wars god dream my future are you happy bigwig oh good northern america hanzel what have i done worldbuilders heeeeey owsla yeahhhhh admit it fvck hellevator uhhhhhh red cups thedarkside first of all ahe matt maeson oh my gods drop the bass sweet brown gretl nice sprites and nothing nyo source light faque to where allison wonderland awwwwwwww

J'ai fait un documentaire sur GUYLAINE GAGNON | WTFKeV Solo

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2022 29:12

Faque j'ai réalisé un documentaire sur Guylaine Gagnon. J'vous en parle un peu

solo documentaire faque wtfkev guylaine gagnon

Hey, FaQue!

REAL LIFE

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2021 1:02

I've got a friend named... --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mathew-aphasia/support

faque

Podcast #336 - 4 novembre 2021 - Darkest Dungeon 2, Metroid Dread, Shady Part of Me et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2021

J'aimerais pouvoir écrire une niaiserie pas rapport ici mais en faits on a vraiment juste parlé de jeux vidéo tout le long de cet épisode. Faque c'est ça. J'ai rien de drôle à dire! C'est ça qui arrive quand on est sérieux! Sérieux comme... Bernard Derome! (Est-ce que y'a Bernard Derome dans Darkest Dungeon 2???? ... Continuer la lecture

shady jeux metroid dread continuer darkest dungeon faque bernard derome

S2E10 | Ce qui est bon pour minou, est aussi bon pour pitou: améliore tes relations en disant "merci (EP64)

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2021 15:47

INSCRIS-TOI AU WEBINAIRE: www.maryevelamer.com/monbonheur Clique ici pour recevoir ton guide gratuit des 5 sphères à intégrer dans ta vie pour manifester ton bonheur Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast ? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI Bienvenue chère Heureuse pour un autre épisode du Bonheur Sans Bullsh*t, j'espère que t'as passé une belle semaine. Si c'est ta première fois sur le podcast et bien je te souhaite la bienvenue dans mon univers et si t'aimes l'épisode d'aujourd'hui, je t'invite à t'abonner pour être certaine de rien manquer. On parle souvent de gratitude et de la puissance qu'elle a sur la manifestation de ton bonheur. Mais aujourd'hui, j'avais envie de te parler de l'opposé de la gratitude: la non-appréciation. C'est pas super chic comme mot...mais anyway, c'est pas chic comme concept non plus. Pour être en mesure de recevoir l'appréciation et le respect des autres, il faut en premier lieu que les autres reçoivent de l'appréciation et du respect de toi. Fak aujourd'hui, on jase de ce qui est bon pour minou, est bon pour pitou aussi! Est-ce que ça t'est déjà arrivé de préparer une surprise pour quelqu'un de proche de toi et que tu sois déçue de l'impact que ta surprise a eu sur la personne? Genre, tu prépares une surprise pour ton enfant. Tsé, t'as mis du temps, de l'énergie, du jus de bras pis du coeur à tout préparer et penser au moindre détail. Tu t'es donnée vraiment beaucoup pour lui faire plaisir parce que ton "kid" compte vraiment beaucoup pour toi. Tu l'imaginais sauter de joie, apprécier le moment x 1000 et te sauter au cou tellement que ta fille ou ton garçon allait être "flabbergasted" par cette magnifique surprise-là. Et finalement, "poin poin poin"... Ton enfant était content, mais pas autant que tu pensais qu'il le serait. Il t'a dit merci avec un petit sourire en coin, mais sans y mettre l'émotion. Un p'tit :"Merci maman..." Mais pas de feux d'artifices comme tu t'étais imaginée. Pis là, t'as été déçue. T'as eu un p'tit peu de peine. Peut-être même que tu t'es sentie fâchée. Parce que tu y avais mis vraiment beaucoup d'effort. Pis peut-être que tu t'es dis que la prochaine fois, t'allais peut-être pas t'investir autant parce que clairement, tu pensais que ça allait avoir un impact ben plus grand que ça et que peut-être ton kid avait pas besoin que t'ailles aussi loin que ça dans la préparation d'une surprise pour être content quand même. Si t'as pas d'enfant, ça se peut que t'aille vécu une situation similaire à celle-ci avec quelqu'un de ton entourage. Peut-être ton chum ou ta blonde, ta bff, ta soeur bref... à un certain point, on s'est toutes données pour quelque chose et on a été déçue du résultat. Et si tu te sens comme ça... que quand tu donnes beaucoup à quelqu'un et que la personne ne te donne pas le "merci" auquel tu t'attendais, ben ça se peut que ça te tente moins la prochaine fois. Ça se peut que tu aie envie de mettre ton énergie sur quelqu'un qui va vraiment apprécié tout l'effort que tu vas y mettre. Ben, t'sais quoi? T'es pas la seule à te sentir comme ça. L'univers aussi fonctionne comme ça. Imagine qu'à chaque jour, l'Univers t'envoie des cadeaux et que non seulement tu le remercie pas, mais en plus de ça, tu les critiques constamment. Genre, tu chiales intérieurement que ton chum ou ta blonde ne s'occupe pas assez de toi, ou que tes enfants sont pas assez reconnaissants de tout ce que tu fais pour eux, ou que t'es tannée de devoir sortir dehors pour partir ton auto l'hiver parce que t'as pas de garage ou de démarreur à distance, ou parce que t'as jamais assez d'argent pour te payer du "me time" au spa. Ben à chaque fois que tu critiques quelque chose, le message que t'envoie à l'Univers, c'est: Ce que tu me donnes, c'est pas assez, je l'apprécie pas. "Boom"! Eille, la première fois que quelqu'un m'a dit ça, j'étais comme : what?! OMG! C'est tellement vrai! C'est vrai que c'est rare en ta! que je dis "merci" pour toutes les choses que j'ai. Je passe ben plus de temps à chialer sur ce que j'ai pas au lieu d'apprécier ce qui m'entoure de positif. Faque si tu veux changer le vent de bord, pis que tu trouves que tu réussis pas à manifester les choses que tu veux dans la vie, ben peut-être que ta première étape, c'est de changer ta perspective de ce que tu as déjà atteint. Si tu veux recevoir plus de cadeaux, il faut premièrement que tu apprennes à dire "merci". J'te raconte une anecdote. J'ai 5-6 ans, c'est Noël et, je suis chez ma tante avec mes parents. Y doit y avoir environ une 15e de cadeaux en dessous de l'arbre pour moi. Juste pour moi. Étant enfant unique à cette époque-là, mes parents se donnaient vraiment à chaque Nöel pour me faire plaisir. J'me rappelle du sentiment d'euphorie que j'avais quand j'ai commencé à développer mes cadeaux et j'avais un but en tête: développer ma poupée! Je voulais une poupée pour jouer à la maman, pis j'avais vu ma cousine en déballer une que tu pouvais faire manger avec une cuillère pis de la plastine. Pis ensuite, la boule de plastine tombait par ses fesses et là tu pouvais la changer de couche. Et j'en voulait tellement une!! J'aimais VRAIMENT les poupées. Et je déballe un cadeau, pis un autre, pis un autre, toujours avec l'espoir de déballer MA poupée. Je suis tellement concentrée à imaginer ma belle poupée, que je porte pas attention pentoute aux autres cadeaux. Je déchire le papier d'emballage à la vitesse de l'éclair et quand j'me rends compte que c'est pas une poupée qui est dans la boîte, je passe au cadeau suivant. Rendu au 12e, l'angoisse fait son chemin et là, j'me dis: "et si j'en ai pas de poupées"? Quand arrive le dernier (qui est vraiment trop petit pour être une poupée), je suis dégoûtée. Je voulais TELLEMENT avoir une poupée...et ça parait dans ma face que je suis déçue. Même que... j'ose le dire à mes parents que je trouve ça poche que ma cousine ait eu une poupée et pas moi. Et boy...la réaction de mon père. Mettons que...y s'attendait pas à ça. J'me rappelle plus exactement les mots qu'il a dit, mais j'te confirme que y'était pas content. Y me trouvais pas mal ingrate de réagir comme ça, d'avoir 0 appréciation pour tous les cadeaux que mes parents m'avaient achetés et de juste penser à LA chose que j'ai pas eu. Pis j'le comprends tellement aujourd'hui! Ben ma chère Heureuse, dis-toi que l'Univers fonctionne aussi comme un parent qui achète plein de cadeaux à son enfant pis que son enfant, yé 0 reconnaissant. Si tu veux plus de la vie, c'est peut-être parce qu'il faut que tu dises un peu plus "merci" pour ce que la vie te donne déjà. Si tu veux trouver travail dans lequel tu t'accomplis plus, peut-être que tu pourrais apprécier le fait que celui que tu as en ce moment te permet te de nourrir et d'avoir un toit. Si tu veux avoir une plus belle maison, peut-être que tu pourrais apprécier celle que tu as présentement parce qu'elle te garde au chaud, te permet de prendre un bain de bulles quand t'en as envie et de bien dormir la nuit. Si tu veux avoir de meilleures relations amoureuses, peut-être que tu pourrais mettre de l'énergie à t'apprécier et à t'aimer plus toi-même. Et si tu veux apprendre à t'aimer plus toi-même, je t'invite à t'inscrire à mon webinaire gratuit du 14 novembre prochain, on va justement parler d'amour de soi et de manifestation de ton bonheur. Pour t'inscrire, rends-toi au maryevelamer.com/monbonheur Plus que vas apprécier les choses autour de toi, plus que l'Univers va t'en envoyer. L'abondance fonctionne comme ça. Apprécie ce que tu as présentement et reçois-en tout plein en retour. Ya tellement de choses pour lesquelles tu peux être reconnaissante. Dis-moi donc chère Heureuse, c'est quoi la chose pour laquelle tu es reconnaissante aujourd'hui? J'te laisse mijoter là-dessus et j'espère te rencontrer le 14 novembre prochain à 11h00 (hr de MTL) pour qu'on puisse t'aider à manifester ce que tu désires dans ta vie. Sur ce, j'te souhaite une magnifique journée et on se jase bientôt! Hey bye là! Mary xx

S2E8 | Un épisode spécial + une SURPRISE pour toi! (EP62)

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2021 19:06

INSCRIS-TOI AU WEBINAIRE: www.maryevelamer.com/monbonheur Clique ici pour recevoir ton guide gratuit des 5 sphères à intégrer dans ta vie pour manifester ton bonheur Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast ? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI Rebonjour chère Heureuse et merci d'être là avec moi aujourd'hui pour un autre épisode du Bonheur Sans Bullsh*t" Bienvenue si c'est ta première sur le podcast et j'espère que tu vas aimer notre moment ensemble. Te rappelles-tu la dernière fois que tu as mis du temps sur quelque chose d'important pour toi? Genre, un projet de peinture de meubles ou peinture sur toile, ou tu t'es mise à apprendre un nouveau "craft", comme la couture ou peut-être le macramé. Ou t'as eu envie de créer tes propres recettes et de te faire un livre à la maison. Ou peut-être que t'as eu envie d'apprendre une nouvelle langue ou comment recouvrir ton vieux divan. Bref, te souviens-tu de l'émotions que t'as ressentie quand t'as mis à terme ce projet-là? Te souviens-tu de l'excitation et du sentiment d'accomplissement qui venait avec? Aujourd'hui, j'te fais un épisode un peu spécial, parce qu'on est en plein milieu de la saison mais j'avais envie de te partager mon émotion sur la mise en place de mon dernier projet parce que ça génère beaucoup d'émotions et y fallait que j'ten parle parce que je crois que c'est quelque chose qui va pouvoir t'aider à manifester ton bonheur. Je t'invite à rester jusqu'à la fin de l'épisode parce que j'ai une surprise pour toi. On part ça! Quand j'ai lancé le podcast du Bonheur Sans Bullsh*t, j'avais deux intentions. La première, c'était d'utiliser ma voix pour te partager mes expériences, mes trucs, ma vision du bonheur et comment moi, j'ai réussi à manifester le mien en mettant en place des petites actions chaque jour qui ont vraiment changé ma vie. Je voulais aussi, au travers le podcast, recevoir des gens inspirants et des gens compétents qui viendraient te jaser de leurs expériences et te partager leur expertise en bonheur pour te donner le plus d'outils possible pour manifester ton bonheur. Ma deuxième intention, c'était de pousser l'atteinte de ton bonheur à un autre niveau encore plus concret. Je voulais être en mesure de pouvoir t'accompagner plus en détail, plus intimement dans ton processus de manifestation de ton bonheur et de vraiment t'aider à vivre la vie de rêve que tu t'es toujours imaginée quand tu fermes les yeux et que tu te dis: "si j'avais une baguette magique", comme moi je l'ai fait. C'est pour ça qu'en mai 2020, j'ai commencé à penser à comment je pourrais réussir à créer un programme d'accompagnement qui serait à la fois flexible (parce que c'est pas tout le monde qui est rendu à la même place dans son cheminement), personnalisé (parce que c'est pas tout le monde qui vit les mêmes expériences) et efficace (parce que tsé, on veut des résultats, right?!). Faque, j'ai commencé à "brainstormer" sur qu'est-ce qui a fait que moi, à 30 ans, j'ai réussi à changer ma vie. J'ai réussi à passer d'un état misérable à un bonheur pur et intrinsèque. J'me suis posé la questions: "C'est quoi qui m'a aidé à manifester mon bonheur avant même de savoir c'était quoi de la manifestation."? C'est quoi les actions, les processus mentaux et émotionnels auxquels j'ai passé au travers pour me permettre de créer la vie que je voulais? Et là, j'ai commencé, tranquillement, à dessiner un schéma de toutes les composantes de ma transformation. Ensuite, je suis allée creuser un peu plus pour réussir à décliner ces grands principes-là et vraiment en faire ressortir les étapes qui m'ont permise de briser une à une mes croyances limitantes, qui m'ont permise de changer mon mindset et de finalement prendre action pour changer ma vie et enfin pouvoir dire que je suis épanouie. Et là, j'ai commencé à vraiment être excitée...je voyais, pour la première fois, une façon concrète pour moi, d'aider d'autres femmes, comme toi, à manifester leur bonheur sans devoir investir des centaines de milliers de dollars. Parce que, faut que j'te dise, ce rêve-là, d'inspirer et d'aider les femmes qui en ont assez d'être misérables, qui en ont assez de se mettre de côté pour tout le monde et qui veule prendre leur place dans leur vie, je l'ai depuis plus que 10 ans. La première fois que j'ai été en contact avec ma mission de vie, j'avais 26 ans. Of course, dans ce temps-là, j'étais loin de comprendre tout ce que je devais vivre avant de pouvoir accomplir cette mission-là. Mais j'avais déjà cette idée de bâtir un centre pour femmes qui les accompagnerait dans leur quête vers l'atteinte de leur bonheur et de leur accomplissements. Dans ce temps-là, les "zinternets" étaient quand même assez développés mais pas comme aujourd'hui et, pour moi, la seule façon que je pouvais accompagner qui ce soit, c'était en présentiel, et je devais acheter un bâtiment, le meubler, le chauffer et engager plusieurs professionnels pour réussir à créer le programme que j'avais en tête. Faque entre toi pis moi, le projet a un peu pas mal tombé à l'eau. Je me disais que sans ce bâtiment, j'y arriverais pas. J'avais cette fausse croyance que je devais investir plusieurs milliers voire centaines de milliers de dollar pour atteindre ce rêve d'aider les femmes. Et c'est en pleine création de ce beau programme virtuel que j'ai réalisé ce qui se passait. J'avais manifesté ce rêve de guider et d'accompagner les femmes dans leur quête vers l'amour de soi. Le "comment" était pas important, mais le "quoi", oui!. Le "comment" n'est jamais important en manifestation. Le "pourquoi" et le "quoi" le sont par exemple! Et c'est là que j'ai commencé à vraiment réaliser que j'étais à ma place. Que j'avais trouvé ma mission de vie. Et j'ai eu envie de la partager autour de moi et de voir si la vision du programme que j'avais en tête pouvait vraiment faire une différence. Alors j'ai lancé un appel sur mes réseaux que je recherchais 8 personnes pour suivre le programme et m'aider à le co-créé pour la première cohorte "live". Et ça m'a pris 16 mois. 16 mois pour terminer le programme, de A à Z. 16 mois pour le travailler, le "tweaker", le créer, le filmer, le monter, le refilmer, le remonter... 16 mois pour être convaincue qu'il était à la hauteur de mes attentes. Pour m'assurer qu'il ferait vraiment une différence dans la vie des femmes qui vont en faire partie. Et j'ai eu la chance de partager cette merveilleuse aventure avec 8 belles personnes qui ont réussi, grâce à ce programme-là, à ajouter des outils à leur coffre de bonheur. Je te cacherai pas que ça n'a pas toujours été facile. Pendant 3-4 mois, je n'ai fait presqu'aucune création de contenu. on se rencontrait en groupe pour discuter et faire des ateliers, mais j'était comme bloquée. En manque d'inspiration. J'en ai profité pendant cette période-là pour travailler plus sur moi, pour mettre mon focus sur ma santé, l'exercice physique et aussi mon mindset. Quand le printemps est arrivé, l'inspiration est revenue, et j'ai recommencé à créer. Et là, ça devenait de plus en plus clair. Et je voyais un changement aussi avec les membres. Je voyais que les rencontres et les exercices qu'on faisait avait un impact. Alors j'ai passé tout l'été à finaliser le programme que j'avais tant hâte de lancer ouvertement à toutes les Heureuses qui veulent manifester leur bonheur à tous "freaking" jours! Et puis ben...j'suis rendue là. J'en suis rendue à préparer le lancement de ce magnifique programme basé sur l'amour de soi (même que.. j'ai été super créative parce que...je l'ai appelé de même: Le Programme de L'Amour de Soi. (LOL). Je suis rendue à partager mes bonnes et moins bonnes expériences non seulement sur le podcast, mais aussi dans un programme spécifique avec accompagnement pour t'aider à propulser ta vie de rêve à un autre niveau! Pis là, peut-être que tu te dis: "Ouii, ouiii!! Moi, je veux manifester mon bonheur Mary, yé où ton programme?!" Bon, avant d'ouvrir les portes de la première cohorte officielle du programme de l'Amour de Soi, pour te remercier de me suivre sur le podcast, peut-être depuis quelques épisodes, depuis le début ou même depuis aujourd'hui, j'ai eu envie de préparer un atelier, un webinaire, pour te donner une idée de ce que peut t'apporter l'univers du Bonheur Sans Bullsh*t. Un atelier dans lequel on va apprendre à se connaître un peu plus intimement, dans lequel on va discuter ensemble et qu'on commencer ton marathon vers la manifestation de ton bonheur. Whooo!!! Je suis fébrile, ça a pas de sens! Je suis tellement excitée de te rencontrer et d'en apprendre plus sur toi, ma belle Heureuse, t'as pas idée! Alors, mets-ça à ton calendrier. Le 14 novembre prochain, à 11h00 (hre de MTL) et 18h00 (heure de Paris), on va jaser ensemble de ton bonheur. Pour t'inscrire, tu peux te rendre au maryevelamer.com/monbonheur Tu pourras être relax dans ton divan, assise à ton bureau, à moitié couchée dans ton lit, t'as seulement à apporter ton sourire, quelque chose pour prendre des notes, ton drink cocconing préféré et ta volonté de manifester ton bonheur. Et vu que c'est toujours le fun d'être en gang, invite tes amies ou ta mère à s'inscrire elles aussi avec toi! Sur ce, j'te souhaite une magnifique journée et on se jase bientôt! Hey by là!

S2E7 | Commence à laisser aller le négatif dans ta vie aujourd'hui! (EP61)

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2021 19:35

Clique ici pour recevoir ton guide gratuit des 5 sphères à intégrer dans ta vie pour manifester ton bonheur Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast ? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI Rebienvenue chère Heureuse pour un autre épisode du Bonheur Sans Bullsh*t et bienvenue tout court si c'est ta première fois sur le podcast. Tsé quand je te dis "merci" d'être là avec moi, c'est parce que lancer un podcast, c'est quand même un bon projet. Maintenir un podcast, c'est encore plus un gros projet. Pis quand je reçois un message d'une Heureuse qui me dit que le podcast a un impact sur son bonheur, sur son quotidien, le feeling en dedans, yé vraiment indescriptible. Ça fait tellement chaud au coeur, c'est assez fou! Alors dans ce temps-là, j'adore faire un shout out aux Heureuses qui prennent le temps de m'envoyer un coucou. Cette semaine, j'envoie plein d'amour et de reconnaissance à Nadia LeBreton pour le magnifique témoignage vidéo qu'elle m'a envoyé. Merci beaucoup beaucoup Nadia pour cette belle pensée, je l'apprécie vraiment beaucoup. Dans l'épisode d'aujourd'hui, j'avais envie de discuter avec toi de l'information que tu laisses entrer dans ton subconscient et comment purger la négativité qui t'empêche de manifester ta vie de rêve et ton bonheur au quotidien. La négativité fait partie de notre vie. Malgré ce que peuvent en dire certaines personnes, c'est pas vrai qu'on peut éliminer tout le négatif dans notre vie. Des obstacles, y va y en avoir tout le temps. Des déceptions, tu vas en ressentir jusqu'à ta mort. De la tristesse, de la colère, de l'amertume, de la peur, tu vas en ressentir encore dans ta vie. C'est impossible d'être tout le temps positive. Point final. Tu peux pas être tout le temps de bonheur humeur, tu peux pas toujours réagir avec zénitude chaque fois que que tu vis un conflit intérieur ou avec quelqu'un d'autre. Même si t'essaies ben ben fort là, c'est physiquement impossible d'être 100% positive tout le temps. Et de toute façon, ces émotions négatives-là, sont nécessaires pour que tu puisses manifester ton bonheur. Parce qu'elles te font évoluer à chaque fois que tu les ressens. Chaque fois que tu as vécu une peine d'amour, tu en appris un peu plus sur ce que tu voulais (ou voulais pas) dans une relation. Chaque fois que t'as eu une mauvaise note à un examen, t'as pris conscience que tu devais redoubler d'effort sur ton étude et en même temps, ça t'a donné l'occasion d'approfondir la matière pour laquelle tu étudiais. Chaque fois que tu t'es "pognée " avec ton chum ou ta blonde, t'en a appris plus sur ses limites et sur les tiennes. Chaque fois que tu t'es faite dire "non", ça t'a donné l'occasion de faire travailler tes méninges pour trouver une autre solution. Chaque fois que tu t'es retrouvée dans une situation dans laquelle te te sentais pas bien, ça t'a donné l'opportunité de dire "non" à ton tour pour respecter tes limites. Chaque fois que tu as perdu quelqu'un de cher à tes yeux, tu as pris le temps de reconnaître à quel point la vie est précieuse et qu'il faut profiter de chaque moment. Toutes les émotions négatives que tu a vécues dans ta vie et que tu vas vivre dans le futur vont t'apporter quelque chose pour te faire grandir, pour te faire évoluer et pour te faire apprécier encore plus les bonnes choses dans ta vie. Sauf que...pour réussir à utiliser ses émotions négatives-là comme un outil d'évolution, il faut que tu apprenne à les utiliser comme il faut. Ce que je veux dire par là, c'est que oui, elles sont nécessaires, mais une fois qu'elles ont servi leur "purpose", tu dois les laisser aller et "move on". T'as le droit de feeler comme de la "schnout" pendant un moment et ensuite, tu dois les laisser aller et passer à autre chose. Pis là, ça, c'est la partie de négativité qui est nécessaire à ton évolution, qui vient de ton dedans, de ton intérieur. Maintenant, la partie non nécessaire et celle qu'il faut mettre le plus loin possible de tous tes 5 sens, c'est la négativité qui vient de l'extérieur de toi. Je veux parler de tout ce qui est non essentiel à ton bonheur mais qui rempli probablement un besoin dans ta vie. Genre, les potins de matante Ginette sur ce que la deuxième cousine du côté de ton père a dis au 3e cousin du côté de ta tante qui avait "oh mon dieu pas d'allure". Ou bien toute la propagande sur la covid qui passe dans les médias traditionnels ou dans les médias sociaux qui finit juste par diviser le monde en deux partie et créer de l'angoisse et de la frustration. Ou ton ami Fernand du secondaire qui fait juste "poster" des status déprimant sur Facebook à quel point sa vie c'est de la marde pis que personne ne le comprend, pis qu'il lui arrive toujours des "bad lucks" à en pu finir. Ou les journalistes à la télé qui te gardent en haleine tout le long du téléjournal avec toutes leurs nouvelles sensationnalistes qui servent à te créer une émotion et surtout un stress, de l'anxiété et de l'angoisse pour que tu reçoives ton "fix" de mauvaises nouvelles qui vont remplir ton besoin de comparer ta vie à celle des autres et de te rassurer que finalement, ça va pas si mal que ça de ton côté. Pis no shame, girl! C'est normal de te sentir comme ça. Mais c'est pas nécessaire ni obligatoire. Au lieu de ressentir ce soulagement-là en te comparant aux autres qui l'ont moins facile que toi, tu peux réussir à ressentir de la gratitude pure et dure en manifestant ta best life! Là où je veux en venir, c'est que c'est important de filtrer l'information négatives à laquelle t'es exposée. Moi je filtre le plus possible l'information avec laquelle je suis en contact. Les nouvelles, les réseaux sociaux, les gens qui sont négatifs, je fais tout ce que je peux pour rester loin de ça parce que je veux pas polluer mon subconscient avec de la négativité extérieure. Même qu'à un point, j'ai coupé les ponts avec un ami parce que presque chaque fois que je lui parlais, j'était complètement ébranlée. Il y avait toujours quelque chose qui allait mal dans sa vie. Il était toujours insatisfait et s'apitoyait sur lui-même en permanence. Et puis quand il me demandait conseil et que j'essayais d'apporter des pistes de solutions, elles n'étaient bonnes. Il avait toujours une raison pour ne pas aller de l'avant et régler les choses. Parce que pour lui, il ne pouvait pas changer les choses. Dans son monde à lui, il n'y avait rien à faire. Il était "doomed" pour le reste de ses jours à être malheureux et triste. Et puis à un moment donné, j'ai dû couper les ponts. Parce que premièrement, je ne pouvais rien faire pour l'aider parce qu'il ne voulait pas s'aider lui-même, il avait la croyance limitante que c'était impossible d'améliorer les choses et deuxièmement, parce que toute cette négativité m'affectait vraiment beaucoup. Je ne comprenais pas pourquoi il ne voulait pas s'aider et prendre action pour améliorer sa vie. J'ai dû accepter que toute cette négativité ne m'appartenait pas et que tant et aussi longtemps que LUI ne prendrait pas la décision de manifester son bonheur, que je ne pourrais rien faire pour l'aider et que pour mon bonheur, je devais laisser aller la relation parce qu'elle ne m'apportait rien de positif. Je sais pas si t'as déjà entendu parler du biais de négativité. Ça, c'est la tendance qu'à l'humain à être plus affecté par les événements négatifs dans sa vie que les événements positifs. C'est le concept que pour une même intensité, on se retrouve plus affecté psychologiquement par l'événement négatif que positif. Ta mémoire va se souvenir plus longtemps et plus intensément des expériences négatives que des expériences positives dans ta vie. Faque dans le concret, ce que ça veut dire, c'est que la critique que t'as reçue de ta supérieure au travail va t'affecter plus que le compliment qu'elle t'as faite sur ta rapidité d'exécution. Ou que quand t'as montré à ton chum le linge que tu t'es achetée, le fait qu'il te dises que ton chandail est vraiment beau va être écrasé par son commentaire sur le motif de tes pantalons qu'il aime moins. Ou que si t'es à l'épicerie en ligne et que t'entends deux personnes parler d'une situation X et que l'une des versions de la situation est négative et l'autre positive, ton cerveau va avoir tendance à croire automatiquement plus la version négative que la version positive. Pourquoi? Qu'est-ce qui fait en sorte que notre cerveau réagit comme ça? C'est pour nous protéger. Imagine que tu remontes le temps jusqu'à l'âge de pierre. Il fallait que tu sois aux alertes en ta! pour survivre, parce que tu pouvais te faire bouffer par ben des affaires. Alors le cerveau va mettre plus d'attention sur ce qui est potentiellement dangereux au détriment de ce qui ne l'est pas, dans le but de te protéger pour pas que tu te fasses manger par un lion, genre. Si tu transposes cette tendance à aujourd'hui, malgré que tu risque pas de te faire empaler par un rhinocéros en sortant de chez vous, tu vas te retrouver dans des situations qui peuvent nuire à ta vie physique, mais aussi à ton psychologique. Faque si tu écoutes les nouvelles à chaque jour, ben tu risques de croire tout ce qui est véhiculée comme information dans le télé-journal parce que c'est négatif. Le climat de peur et de sentiment (oh my god) qu'on parlait tantôt, va t'affecter ben plus que la bonne nouvelle du jour. C'est pour ça que c'est primordial de filtrer l'information que tu laisses entrer dans ton subconscient si tu veux réussir à manifester ton bonheur. Je le sais que des fois c'est tentant de mettre ton attention sur les derniers potins, ou de parler avec ma tante Ginette pour savoir ce que ton deuxième coussin de la fesse gauche a fait pour se divorcer, perdre sa maison pis se retrouver à dormir dans son char parce que ça te rassure de savoir que ya pire que finalement, ta vie est pas si mal...mais il faut que tu fasses attention parce que c'est facile de se laisser entraîner par le négatif autour de nous sans s'en rendre compte. Pis là, je suis pas en train de te dire de te foutre de tout ce qui se passe dans le monde et de fermer les yeux sur les problèmes de tout ton entourage pis de la société. Mais, si tu es moindrement susceptible d'être affectée émotionnellement par le négatif, c'est vraiment important que tu limites au maximum le négatif avec lequel tu es en contact. Parce que développer des croyances limitantes, ça se fait assez facilement...elles sont "sneaky" ces croyances-là qui t'empêchent d'évoluer et de manifester ton bonheur. Tu t'en rends pas compte mais, t'écoutes la télé 2-3 jours d'affiler, tu parles avec matante Ginette, t'écoutes ton voisin sacrer après l'autre voisine pendant 10-15 minutes, tu "scroll" ton facebook 5-6 fois dans ta journée pis là, sans t'en rendre compte, tu développes des fausses croyances qui te nuisent à la manifestation de ta vie de rêve. Tu commences à avoir peur de sortir de chez vous, t'en reviens pas à quel point ton cousin à fait des mauvais choix pis t'a peur qu'un jour tu te retrouves dans la même situation, tu commences à regarder d'un drôle d'oeil ta deuxième voisine chaque fois que tu la croises , pis t'es outrée de voir à quel point tes amis facebook vivent des situations de "schnout" aux deux minutes pis t'espères que ça va t'arriver à toi aussi. Ouf... Elle est où la place pour le positif après tout ça? Elle est où la place pour le beau compliment que ta blonde t'a fait ce matin? Ou le beau dessin que ton 4 ans t'a fait à la garderie? Ou l'amour que ton chien te donne chaque fois que tu rentres chez toi? Ou le projet que t'a finalement mis à terme récemment sur lequel t'as travaillé des mois? ou la prochaine étape à prendre pour atteindre un objectif que tu t'es fixé et qui va améliorer ta santé? Tsé... c'est facile de laisser la place à ce qui est négatif. Mais si tu veux manifester ton bonheur, il faut que laisses plus de place à ce qui est positif dans ta vie. Pis on va se le dire, malgré qu'au début ça puisse faire peur (parce qu'on a tendance à se dire...c'est trop beau pour être vrai.). Ou on attend que la brique nous tombe sur la tête quand ça va bien. Mais dis-toi une chose: plus tu fais de la place pour le positif, plus ça va devenir facile d'accueillir le positif. Alors dis-moi chère Heureuse, j'ai envie de t'entendre là-dessus. C'est quoi selon toi, la première chose que tu devrais laisser aller qui t'apporte du négatif dans ta vie? Je t'invite à venir me jaser de ça sur Insta au @maryeve_lamer. Et j'ai un service à te demander aujourd'hui. Si tu penses que cet épisode-là peut inspirer quelqu'un ou l'aider à manifester son bonheur, svp partage-le sur Faccebook, Instagram, twitter, linked in, par courriel, bref, envoie-le à tes amies pour qu'elles puissent elles aussi, laisser aller la négativité dans leur vie. Je te souhaite une merveilleuse journée et on se parle bientôt. Hey bye là!

D'la criss de bonne bière de micro en Gaspésie | WTFKev Solo

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2021 29:43

Durant mes vacances en Gaspésie, j'ai décidé de faire la route des bières de l'est du Québec. Faque j'en ai bu en maudit d'la bière de microbrasserie.nbsp;

solo micro kevin durant bonne gasp criss faque wtfkev

Mon nouveau pot préféré d'la SQDC | WTFKeV Solo

Henri Pis Sa Gang (Le Podcast)

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2021 20:03

Étant un consommateur modéré de pot faible, j'ai beaucoup de choix. Faque quand il y en a j'suis content en esti. Aujourd'hui j'vous parle du CBD Critical Mass de Trail Blazer.

solo aujourd nouveau trailblazer sqdc faque wtfkev

Épisode #27 - La jambe du général

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2021 106:02

Nous voilà enfin de retour après quelques semaines! Un épisode un peu rocambolesque avec un faux-départ dû à un problème technique. Vos deux imbéciles préférés ont enregistrés 1h07 de pur génie pour finalement se rendre compte que ça tapait tout croche... Faque finalement on a recommencé pis on a parlé d'autre chose, mais on a quand même parlé de l'épisode 18 de la saison 2: La jambe du général. On est pas des monstres non plus!

vos faque

S1E6 - C'est aussi TA fête des Mères!

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2021 16:03

Ça vient d'où la fête des mères? Les traces les plus anciennes qui ont été trouvées concernant des célébrations en l'honneur des mamans viennent de la Grèce antique.Dans ce temps-là, les gens fêtaient en l'honneur de Rhéa (ou Cybèle), la mère des Dieux. Pour ce qui est de la fête des mères telle qu'on la connait, c'est en 1908 que les États-Unis ont créé le “mother's day”, en souvenir de la mère de l'institutrice Anna Jarvis. À partir de 1914, Le Royaume-Uni, l'Allemagne, la Belgique, le Danemark, la Finlande, l'Italie, la Turquie et l'Australieon suivi le mouvement. Anna Jarvis a lancé le mouvement de la fête des mères en l'honneur de sa mère qui avait passé sa vie à vouloir aider à améliorer le sort des femmes en mettant sur pieds des clubs d'entraide, des Sunday Schools pour éduquer et catéchiser les enfants dans le but d'éradiquer les fléaux sanitaires (épidémies, alcoolisme, mortalité infantile…) et pour réconcilier les familles touchées par la guerre de Sécession. Avec le temps, la fête des Mères est devenue une fête assez commerciale et mme Jarvis n'étant pas très heureuse de la chose, a intenté des poursuites contre des entreprises qui selon elle, ont profité de la situation, notamment des fleuristes, en les traitant de profiteurs. Après avoir dédié le reste de sa vie a essayer de ramener la fête des mères “pure” comme à sa création, elle meurt sans un sou en novembre 1948, hospitalisée depuis 4 ans dans un sanatorium en recevant chaque année des lettres adressées à la fondatrice de la fête des Mères. C'est un peu ironique comme fin, non? Je sais pas si t'es du genre à boycotter les fêtes commerciales, mais moi, malgré que j'suis pas fan de me faire imposer des croyances, j'aime bien m'approprier les clichés de la société, comme les fêtes commerciales quétaines et en profiter pour célébrer à ma manière, selon mes croyances et mes valeurs. Aujourd'hui, j'avais envie de te jaser de TA fête des Mères à toi et de comment tu t'imprégner de l'essence de cette fête-là et te l'approprier! Même si t'as pas d'enfants, tu as peut-être déjà été la maman de quelque chose. T'as peut-être un chat, un chien, un poisson rouge, peut-être que tu t'es occupée de tes frères et soeurs, d'une cousin ou d'une cousine… Le rôle d'une maman, c'est de guider, d'écouter, d'accompagner dans la prise de décision sans jugement. Une maman, ça dorlote, ça “catine”, ça a beaucoup d'amour à donner et ça n'a pas peur de mettre ses besoin de côté pour ceux des personnes dont elle prend soin. Et souvent, elle en vient à complètement s'oublier pour prendre soin des autres parce que, dans notre société, la “mom life” est considérée comme la “hard life”. J'ai l'impression que des fois, être mère, ça signifie presqu'être un martyre. Allie Casaza, la podcasteuse qui anime le “Purpose Show“, que j'ai découverte récemment et que j'adore, a une façon vraiment touchante d'énumérer les choses qui nous sont demandés quand on est maman et je vais te le partager en le traduisant (parce qu'elle est anglophone) parce que quand je l'ai entendu la première fois, ça m'a vraiment touché et j'avais l'impression qu'elle disait tout haut ce que je pensais tout bas. Ça va comme suit: La vie de maman. On est entourées du message que c'est la vie de fatigue, la vie de “j'ai pas de temps pour moi”, la vie dure.On est supposée survivre et passer au travers aussi difficile que ça puisse être et en même temps, ne pas se plaindre et profiter de chaque moment à la “Carpe Diem” parce que ça passe tellement vite. Le discours culturel autour des mamans est rempli de messages négatifs, nous disant qu'on a pas le droit de prendre soin de soi quand on est maman, sinon on est égoïstes. Plus que tu t'éreintes et que tu t'épuises, plus que ta médaille va être grosse.Mais en même temps, il faut que tu t'entraînes et reviennes à ta taille pré-bébé, que tu ne lève pas le ton, que tu fasses plus d'argent, sois meilleure, mais pas au dépend du temps passé avec tes kids. Et elle, elle dit stop à tout ça! Que malgré que ce soit difficile d'avoir des enfants, de lancer une business ou d'avoir tes projets personnels, c'est assez le mom shaming! Il est temps de mettre de l'équilibre dans tout ça et d'arrêter le mouvement de donner x 1000 à tout le monde en t'oubliant complètement. Et OH MY GOSH que je suis d'accord. Tsé, quand t'as pas d'enfants, tu te fais dire parc eux qui en ont que c'est la plus belle chose que tu peux vivre dans ta vie. Et c'est vrai. Avoir des enfants, c'est mettre au monde d'autres humains qui sont une extension de nous-mêmes. Avoir des enfants, c'est en apprendre un peu plus chaque jour sur la vie, mais aussi sur soi-même. Être maman, c'est être une professeure autant qu'une élève. C'est merveilleusement beau avoir des enfants. Mais je crois sincèrement que pour vraiment apprécier l'aventure à son maximum, il faut qu'il y ait un équilibre. Et là, tu le sais, je crois pas à l'équilibre parfait. Mais si tu te représentes ta vie, celle de tes enfants et celle de ton couple par des verres d'eau, les 3 doivent être remplis. Ils ne pourront pas être remplis également tout le temps. Peut-être même jamais…. mais pour que tu puisses t'épanouir dans ta vie, ils doivent tous contenir de l'eau. Et aujourd'hui, c'est ça, mon message pour toi. C'est que tu es importante en tant que femme et que si tu veux être la meilleure version de toi-même comme maman, cette partie-là de toi doit être vénérée. C'est beau comme mot hein?… vénérée. Mais c'est ça. TU es importante. TA vie, Ta personnalité, TES besoins sont aussi importants que ceux des autres. C'est comme dans un avion. Tu dois mettre le masque d'oxygène sur ta face avant de mettre celui de tes enfants. Parce que si tu “crash”, tu ne seras plus en mesure de t'occuper de personne. La fête des Mères, TA fête des Mères, c'est pas le fleuriste du coin ou la compagnie de cartes “Hallmark” qui décide ce que tu fais avec. C'est toi. Tu peux te l'approprier comme tu veux. Mais prendre du temps pour toi, ça devrait être à l'année longue. À chaque jour. Même si c'est en petite quantité. Faire des choses qui te font sentir bien à l'intérieur, comme à l'extérieur. Des moments de “me time” dans lesquels tu t'honores en tant que femme, en tant que mère, en tant que conjointe, en tant que business woman. Malgré que la société te dit que pour être une femme, tu dois être et faire blablabla, t'as le droit et la responsabilité de choisir ce dont TOI t'as envie d'être et de faire. Être une maman, c'est montrer l'exemple à ses enfants. Les guider à prendre les bonnes décisions pour s'épanouir et s'accomplir dans la vie. Mais si tu passes ton temps à donner donner donner aux autres et jamais prendre, ben c'est le même message que tu envoies à tes enfants. L'exemple qu'on donne en s'oubliant et en se mettant de côté, c'est “je ne suis pas importante”. Et nos enfants entendent “je ne suis pas important quand je suis parent”. Faque non seulement ça fait des enfants qui sont plus enclins à devenir “entitled” (qui pensent que tout leur est dû) ou à l'opposé, à devenir le même type de parent qu'on leur a montré…à tout donner et jamais recevoir. Encore une fois, la perfection, ça existe pas. Mais même si c'est pas parfait, c'est important de réaliser à quel point TU es importante. À quel point NOUS sommes importantes en tant que femme. Et là, je veux pas dire qu'on est PLUS importantes. Je veux simplement dire que la femme EST importante. J'veux parler de la place qu'on doit prendre dans NOTRE vie. L'importance qu'on doit s'accorder, qu'on ait des enfants, une business, un chum, une blonde, un chat… Plus tu réalises que tu vaut autant que n'importe qui autour de toi, plus que tu prends conscience que tu mérites aussi tout ce dont tu donnes aux autres, plus les autres vont te respecter. Mais surtout, plus TU vas te respecter. Parce que tout part de TOI envers TOI. Combien de fois on se sent coupable, on se sent pas à la hauteur? Qu'on se tape sur la tête parce que le souper un soir, c'est des toasts ou des céréales? Ou bien qu'on a oublié de partir une brassée de linge et nos enfants portent le même chandail deux ou trois fois? Ou bien que t'as eu une idée de génie pour ton projet ou ta business pendant le “family time”? C'est quand la dernière fois que tu t'es sentie mal de pas vouloir jouer aux barbies avec ta fille ou que ton garçon t'a demandé de sauter avec lui dans la trampoline pis t'as dis non parce que tu le savais que t'allais avoir mal au coeur pour le reste de la journée? Combien de fois tu t'es sentie comme une blonde ou une femme indigne parce que t'étais tellement épuisée mentalement que ta libido était à moins mille? Ou parce que t'a oublié votre anniversaire de couple parce que ta to-do list déborde du matin au soir? J'ai été longtemps dans le “mom guilt” et pour être ben honnête avec toi, ça m'arrive encore de me retrouver dedans…mais je travaille fort chaque jour pour me défaire de ces stigmas-là concernant la vie de maman. Parce que c'est néfaste et ça amène rien de positif. Être une maman, c'est une des plus belles choses qu'on peut vivre dans notre vie. Et je crois qu'une des façons de célébrer ça, c'est de se donner le droit de prendre du temps pour soi, sans être dans la culpabilité. C'est d'accueillir la douceur et l'imperfection. C'est célébrer toute la beauté de ce que ça représente être une maman mais aussi le côté moins “glamour”. C'est de reconnaître et d'accepter les douleurs physiques et psychologiques qui viennent avec la maternité. Toute la force que ça nous prend pour passer au travers des différentes étapes du chemin à faire pour devenir maman. Et c'est de s'accorder le droit d'être soi. Si t'as envie de lancer ta business, si t'as envie de prendre une formation ou retourner à l'école, si t'as envie de développer un nouveau hobby, de te remettre en forme, de mieux manger, d'avoir une routine matinale ou de soirée (ou les deux), fais-le sans jugement, sans culpabilité. Si t'as envie de passer du temps avec tes amies (ces temps-ci c'est plus prendre un café sur zoom), fais-le. Si t'as envie de te recevoir un soin esthétique, un massage, de changer tes cheveux, de changer de style vestimentaire…fais-le. Fais la liste de ce qui te fais du bien et commence par mettre une chose à la fois dans ton agenda. Prends rendez-vous avec toi-même quotidiennement. Même si c'est 15 minutes. Pour moi, célébrer la fête des Mères, c'est la célébration de ma maman et de tout ce qu'elle est et ce qu'elle a fait pour moi depuis ma naissance. Et c'est aussi la chance de célébrez qui je suis en tant que femme, en tant que mère, en tant que fiancée et en tant que business woman. Parce que je suis tout ça en même temps, un jour à la fois. Et toi, chère Heureuse, dis-moi donc, qu'est-ce que tu vas faire cette année pour t'honorer et te célébrer? Prends un screenshot de l'épisode et tague-moi avec ta réponse sur Instagram au @maryeve_lamer Sur ce, j'te souhaite une journée remplie de douceur et d'amour. Hey bye là! Mary Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI

Golden classic - 04 - Coco Belliveau

Tu me niaises

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2021 99:28

Visionner l'épisode. / Diffusion : 26 novembre 2019 On se demande comment va Éric Salvail, Philippe déclare que le spectacle d'Alex Perron est le.meilleur.show.d'humour de l'année, JF nous parle de son expérience avec la SARTEC et Philippe fait le point sur ses REER (00:00). On se demande comment ça va, réitère que l'automne c'est difficile et jase sommeil et hygiène corporelle (13:24) On apprend à se connaître, Mathieu avoue être prêt à échanger la neige contre des gros scorpions, JF explique la slow TV à Philippe puis on raconte des anecdotes de pet, de massage, de pédicure et d'Échos Vedette (20:45). On accueille l'artiste multidisciplinaire (rappeuse, actrice, humoriste,...) très drôle et full fine Coco Belliveau qui est très fan du fait que Philippe se brosse dans le penis (33:45). Les gars apprennent à Coco que c'est une vedette, Coco parle de sa carrière rap, on discute de l'hymne national au hockey et de La Voix (46:20). Philippe pense que Louis Morissette écoute le podcast juste pour l'haïr, on parle du génial Grand gala masculin du frestival Mobilo dans lequel Coco a fait un numéro avec Virginie Fortin et on discute d'apocalypse (1:01:00). Philippe nous parle de l'épisode de Studio G de Charles Lafortune ce qui mène à une discussion sur la pertinence d'Occupation Double et on dénonce la négativité sur les médias sociaux (1:14:47). On clôt l'épisode avec une anecdote de vin de JF (1:38:25). SCOOP Philippe s'est déjà fait faire une pédicure (pis c'tait même pas sa fête). Des fois le monde engage des gaspésiennes pour jouer des acadiennes. Phil demande à JF de toujours parler en autotune pis ça s'passe pas pire dans le monde du futur. Podcast magique! (58:00) Coco c'est double Thanos. (Two-Thanos) La meilleure façon de répondre à un message haineux, c'est un gif dégueulasse. (Provençal-splaining!) Citations notables En même temps je m'en colisse des prix faque yeah! - JF, 5:42 Mon mic... J'VAS JUSTE CRIER FORT. - JF, 12:46 C'est ça aller au bout de ses rêves finalement, c'est juste dormi plus longtemps. - Mathieu, 15:45 Mourir c'est pas dormir tout l'temps? - Philippe, 16:00 Mettons que tu te réveilles du coma pis tu sens que quelqu'un te lave t'attends-tu qui finisse avant de faire de quoi? - Mathieu, 18:19 Quoi ça fait 4 mois j'dors? La dernière affaire j'me rappelle c'est j'tais au cinéma, pis j'mangeais du poulet. - JF, 18:35 Les sacs magiques là, tu trouves pas que ça finit par sentir le désespoir, ça? - Philippe 22:40 Si j'capab' de bourrer ma laveuse estie j'capab' de bourrer mon micro-ondes. - JF, 23:20 C'est correct... ça travaille... - Le prof de yoga qui a fiousé, 27:30 Moi j'adore ça me faire masser, mais, on dirait que des fois j'ai peur qu'y m'massent les pieds pis que ça m'chatouille trop. Mais chu gêné d'leur dire. Que ça m'chatouille. Faque j'me r'tiens là, chus comme, chus dans ma tête “Ça chatouille pas.” pis j'capab' de trouver une zone où c'que ça chatouille pas mais criss qu'a m'fait peur c'te zone-là. - Philippe, 29:44 Si lui (Jason Guerrette) perd Star Académie pis peut avoir un diplôme honoraire, moi j'peux faire l'École de l'humour pis avoir MON diplôme honoraire, Université de Moncton! - Coco, 44:00 Quand je dis rap, tu dis yes l'école! - JF, 49:55 Madame blanche c'est mieux qu'monsieur blanc. - Coco, 51:47 Quand tu te pratiques, baisse le son : C'tait pas toi ça, c'tait Prince. - Mathieu, 57:45 Eux autres tout le monde parle comme T-Pain dans leur vie : “Voulez-vous un p'tit chausson aux pommes avec ça? J'vas t'prendre un Big Mac avec une p'tite sauce.”. Ça s'pourrait! - Djee dalsonnien, 58:28 Travailleeer! - Lucien Bourrassa, 58:55 Des secondes? Mets-en! - Coco, 1:02:38 Moi j'essaie d'égaliser l'environnement d'peur. J'saute des buissons j'fais “AH! Belle queue!” - Coco, 1:05:45 Pdjou! Pdjou! Une madame sur chaque main. Je suis l'homme le plus puissant. Une madame en chapeau! - Coco, 1:08:45 Ah, Sam Breton y pouvait pas, parfait, m'a prendre Guillaume Pineault... Non mais t'sé... C't'une joke, c't'une joke. C'est une joke. C't'une joke. - Coco, 1:10:35 Personne t'aime, Guy! - Mathieu, 1:15:30 Il parlait (Charles Lafortune) que lui y'habite dans un rond-point pis que lui y'aime mieux arriver d'un côté parce qui trouve sa maison plus belle pis c'est là que j'me suis dit : Pourquoi ça explose pas? - Philippe, 1:18:43 https://www.patreon.com/tumeniaises pour + de 70 heures de contenu exclusif

S1E0 - Le podcast revient pour 2021!

encore avec les ts les autres comparer faque

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2021 13:22

Bonjour chère heureuse! Merci d'être ici avec moi aujourd'hui pour partager ce moment de bonheur, ce beau moment de douceur. Bienvenue si c'est ta première fois sur le podcast. Bonne année 2021, même si je suis un peu en retard. Je suis tellement contente d'être là aujourd'hui. Si tu me suis régulièrement sur le podcast, t'as sûrement remarqué que ça fait 2 mois environ que le podcast a été mis sur “pause”. J'me suis ennuyée de ce moment que je prends pour te jaser. J'me suis ennuyée de mon garde-robe, de mes écouteurs et du feeling de complicité que j'ai quand je prends mon micro pour te partager du contenu sur le bonheur. Il y a plusieurs raisons pour lesquelles je n'ai pas publié dans ces 2 derniers mois-là. La première, c'est que j'ai eu un peu le syndrôme de la page blanche. Je me demandais où j'avais envie d'aller avec le podcast. Le 28 février ça a fait 1 an que j'ai lancé le podcast et j'ai voulu prendre un peu de recul et évaluer qu'est-ce que je pouvais t'apporter de plus avec le Bonheur Sans Bullshit. Et avant de lancer la suite, j'me suis dis “pourquoi pas faire un épisode de transition avec la nouvelle saison du podcast?” pour pouvoir te parler de ce qui s'en vient, de te donner un aperçu de ma vision pour le Bonheur Sans Bullshit. Comme tu sais, j'adore te partager mes expériences, mes apprentissages, mes opinions, comment je vois la vie, mes challenges … Mais un moment donné, j'me suis rendue compte que même si des sujets sur le bonheur y'en manque pas pis que j'aime vraiment ça jaser dans ton oreille, j'ai aussi envie de te jaser avec d'autres humains. J'ai envie de te présenter des personnes inspirantes qui ont elles aussi vécu des expériences challengeantes, des expériences qui les ont fait grandir, qui les ont fait évoluer… Le bonheur c'est super personnel et malgré qu'on peut trouver un million de listes de “how to be happy” sur le web, j'ai envie de discuter de bonheur réellement vécu avec des gens qui ont envie de partager leur vision. C'est quoi leur idée du bonheur et pourquoi ils en sont venus à voir les choses de cette façon-là. Faque, ça m'amène à te dire que je vais recevoir de plus en plus d'invités sur le podcast, pour pouvoir t'offrir plusieurs perspectives originales sur le bonheur et t'offrir plus de trucs, plus de conseils, plus d'histoires sur comment augmenter ton bonheur à toi La deuxième raison pour laquelle j'ai pris une pause, c'est que j'en avais besoin. Tsé, quand j'te parle de bonheur et d'équilibre dans ton quotidien, ben ça inclut aussi la gestion de ta charge mentale. La mienne a été pas mal étirée au max cette année et j'avais l'impression de toujours courir après tout, tout le temps. Dans mon vision board de cette année, j'ai ajouté les mots douceur et espace. Parce que c'est beau avoir des projets qui sont empowering, des projets qui me sortent de ma zone de confort et qui me remplissent de sentiment d'accomplissement et de purpose, mais un moment donné, il faut aussi que je lead by example et que j'applique mes propres conseils, tsé. Donc, j'ai dû prendre du temps pour moi. Du temps pour remettre de l'ordre dans mes idées, dans mes projets, dans mon quotidien et dans ma vie professionnelle. Comme tu le sais, je trippe podcasting, right? Bien depuis quelques mois, je fais partie d'un groupe vraiment trippant de podcasters et de futurs podcasters dans lequel j'apprends plein de choses sur comment améliorer le podcast du Bonheur Sans Bullshit mais avec qui je partage aussi des supers beaux moments de discussion. En décembre, pendant le congé des fêtes, mon coach d'affaire m'a offert l'opportunité de faire partie de son équipe et d'utiliser mes connaissances et mon expertise pour faire grandir l'entreprise et développer des beaux projets trippants. Of course, j'étais super contente! Mais le fait de prendre cette opportunité a fait en sorte que j'ai dû prendre une décision au niveau de mes autres contrats et j'ai dû en laisser aller un pour pouvoir avoir l'espace nécessaire pour mes nouvelles fonctions. Finalement, la dernière raison pour laquelle j'ai pris une pause, c'est que j'me demandais comment améliorer la structure du podcast. Tu as sûrement remarqué que le jingle a changé et dans les prochains épisodes, tu pourras aussi entendre la différence sur l'intro. Elle va être plus consise et on va rentrer dans le vif du sujet plus rapidement parce que tsé, pas le temps de niaiser! Bon, maintenant que je t'ai parlé de tout ça et que tu sais pourquoi j'ai été silencieuse ces derniers temps, je veux te dire à quel point je suis excitée de ce qui s'en vient pour le mouvement du bonheur sans bullshit dans les prochains mois. Sans vouloir voler le punch trop vite, tu peux quand même t'attendre à un nouveau site, entendre parler d'une formation en ligne pour t'aider à manifester ton bonheur au quotidien, d'outils fonctionnels pour te rendre la vie plus facile et de créations de guénilles qui vont rendre ton reflet dans le miroir le fun. J'ten dis pas plus pour l'instant, faut ben que je garde un peu de suspens. Si t'a aimé ton moment avec moi today, je t'invite à prendre un screenshot de l'épisode et de me taguer sur instagram. Pis si on est pas encore amies sur Insta, dépêche-toi d'aller m'ajouter au @maryeve_lamer Sur ce, j'te souhaite une journée remplie de belles surprises et on se jase bientôt pour un prochain épisode du bonheur sans bullshit! Hey bye là! Mary Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI

3.0 Épisode 3 (10 000 écoutes, se comparer avec les autres ou avec soi?)

Avec Pod'casque

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2021 52:51

Cette semaine, il est question du cap franchi des 10 000 écoutes, de la comparaison avec les autres et du dépassement de soi... Encore une fois! En même temps, c'est un podcast de dépassement de soi...Faque... Tsé...!

#1042 - François Tousignant - Cam ne suis pas les sports...faque elle énonce Harry Potter

Henri Pis Sa Gang (Le Podcast)

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2021 29:33

Bon mardi! On continue en force notre grande semaine incroyable en compagnie du seul et unique François Tousignant! Aujourd’hui, on parle des équipes sportives qu’on suit (et surtout celles qu’on ne suit pas) et on creuse dans le monde du Twitch, de YouTube live et du streaming! Que du bon pour tes yeux et oreilles; à demain :) On a un nouveau Instagram!: https://bit.ly/3pvUHZy Et ajoute-nous sur Twitch!: https://www.twitch.tv/lepetitbonheur Lucas: http://bit.ly/3ovtMNl Claudia: http://bit.ly/39ygBGf Alex: http://bit.ly/3pEytop Chuck: http://bit.ly/2L45sBi YouTube: http://bit.ly/2MRWgml iTunes (On vous adore quand vous nous laissez ★★★★★): http://goo.gl/n1411W Google Play: https://bit.ly/31HIJlI Spotify: http://goo.gl/QrK6Tv Twitter: http://twitter.com/lepbonheur Merci tellement de nous suivre!

twitch harry potter aujourd bon suis nonce tousignant faque

Épisode #19 - Bobby boom

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2020 106:26

Oh ça ça doit faire mal! Cette semaine au podcast, on vous parle d'un épisode de lutte pis dieu sait qu'on aime ça moi pis Dave la FUCKING LUTTE! AHHH!!! Faque let's get ready to rumble, boswell!

boom faque

Émission du 22 septembre 2020

Mission encre noire

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2020

Mission encre noire Tome 29 Chapitre 334. Burgundy de Mélanie Michaud paru en 2020 aux éditions La mèche. Lorsque l'on grandit à Burgundy, il faut savoir rêver à une autre vie, plus belle, «comme une surface en marbre toute polie qui shine». Petite Bourgogne est ce quartier de Montréal situé entre Saint-Henri et Pointe-Saint-Charles. Pour l'autrice, c'est clair, c'est un mauvais souvenir. Et puis, les années 80 et 90, c'était laid, les pires moments de sa vie, la laideur et la violence sont des monnaies courantes, dans la rue comme chez elle. Même s'il y a des limites à camoufler du pas beau, Mélanie Michaud, se saisit de l'écriture, pour raconter son histoire à coeur percé, celle d'un des derniers quartiers populaire de Montréal, celle d'une langue de la rue, celle d'un «air d'aller» qui disparaît. Drôles, glaçants, parfois poignants, ces récits d'une vie maganée sont punchés à souhait et coupants comme la lame d'une femme commando bandée. Je reçois Mélanie Michaud, ce soir, à Mission encre noire. Extrait: « J'ignorai pourquoi il ne fallait pas que je devienne une catin, une guidoune, une salope, une pute (ou tout autre synonyme de guédaille), malgré que les hommes aimaient ça. Et que mon bonheur reposait sur la validation de mon corps par les hommes. J'imagine que j'allais comprendre quand j'aurai des seins pis que les hommes m'aimeraient. Ou me désireraient. Ou, je sais pas, tireraient du plaisir de moi ou de mon corps. C'est contradictoire, un couple, on dirait. Je trouvais ça bizarre que personne ne se souciait que ces femmes-là, c'était du vrai monde. La fille était quelqu'un derrière ses gros seins. Les hommes semblaient décider de tout: au gouvernement, dans les maisons, dans les jobs d'adultes pis même par rapport aux femmes pis à ce qu'elles doivent avoir l'air. C'étaient eux, les chanceux, pis nous autres fallait les servir, pas juste avec de la bouffe, mais avec nos sexes pis toutes. Faque il me fallait devenir quoi ? Je ne voulais pas servir un homme, ni avec mes appareils de cuisine ni avec mes appareils reproducteurs. Faque j'ai décidé que j'allais devenir une superhéroïne en string pis que j'allais libérer les guédailles pis les habiller, avec du linge qui ne viendrait pas de l'Armée du Salut. On ressemblerait toutes à Cyndi Lauper, on aurait du fun pis les messieurs pas fins auraient tous peur de nous.» Comment (et pourquoi) je suis devenue végane par Eve-Marie Gingras avec une préface d'Élise Desaulniers paru en 2020 aux éditions Écosociété. La bédéiste Eve-Marie Gingras nous fait partager son cheminement vers le véganisme alors qu'elle manipule du boeuf haché. Soudainement ce qu'elle tient dans ses mains lui paraît froid et mort. Elle se demande, nauséeuse, QUI, elle a touché et non plus QUOI. Se déroule alors, au fil des pages, une série de réflexions sur notre rapport à l'animal, mais aussi sur des problèmes plus larges de choix de sociétés et de consommation de viande. Richement documenté, cet album s'inspire des expériences concrètes de l'autrice. Loin de verser dans un angélisme buccolique, la narratrice se questionne ainsi sur le bien-être et le droit animal, l'antispécisme, le lien avec le féminisme et la dissonance cognitive, et bien entendu sur le bien-fondé de nos valeurs éthiques. Profondément empathique à l'égard de la cause animale, ce livre est une formidable découverte graphique qui diffuse une information fondamentale, eu égard aux nombreux défis environnementaux qui nous attendent à l'avenir. Eve-Marie Gingras est invitée à Mission encre noire. Extrait: « Tout ça pour dire que le patriarcat fait vraiment du mal à tout le monde, physiquement et mentalement, en nous cantonnant dans des rôles préétablis, rigides et inconfortables. Il est temps qu'on cesse d'y participer et qu'on passe à autre chose, tout le monde ensemble. Le véganisme ne peut certainement pas régler tous les problèmes auxquels on fait face, mais, comme les autres mouvements progressistes, il contribue efficacement à remettre en questions les discours dominants oppressifs. Ça me plaît ! D'ailleurs, c'est en devenant végane que j'ai pris connaissances de l'ampleur de notre domination sur les êtres animaux. leur sujétion est telle qu'elle nous est souvent invisible, malgré son omniprésence. Elle est dans nos divertissements, nos vêtements, nos cosmétiques, nos produits nettoyants, notre nourriture...Sans que tout cela ne soit nécessaire.»

mission arm tome loin salut lorsque cyndi lauper burgundy michaud chapitre profond desaulniers faque pointe saint charles

Émission du 22 septembre 2020

Mission encre noire

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2020

Mission encre noire Tome 29 Chapitre 334. Burgundy de Mélanie Michaud paru en 2020 aux éditions La mèche. Lorsque l'on grandit à Burgundy, il faut savoir rêver à une autre vie, plus belle, «comme une surface en marbre toute polie qui shine». Petite Bourgogne est ce quartier de Montréal situé entre Saint-Henri et Pointe-Saint-Charles. Pour l'autrice, c'est clair, c'est un mauvais souvenir. Et puis, les années 80 et 90, c'était laid, les pires moments de sa vie, la laideur et la violence sont des monnaies courantes, dans la rue comme chez elle. Même s'il y a des limites à camoufler du pas beau, Mélanie Michaud, se saisit de l'écriture, pour raconter son histoire à coeur percé, celle d'un des derniers quartiers populaire de Montréal, celle d'une langue de la rue, celle d'un «air d'aller» qui disparaît. Drôles, glaçants, parfois poignants, ces récits d'une vie maganée sont punchés à souhait et coupants comme la lame d'une femme commando bandée. Je reçois Mélanie Michaud, ce soir, à Mission encre noire. Extrait: « J'ignorai pourquoi il ne fallait pas que je devienne une catin, une guidoune, une salope, une pute (ou tout autre synonyme de guédaille), malgré que les hommes aimaient ça. Et que mon bonheur reposait sur la validation de mon corps par les hommes. J'imagine que j'allais comprendre quand j'aurai des seins pis que les hommes m'aimeraient. Ou me désireraient. Ou, je sais pas, tireraient du plaisir de moi ou de mon corps. C'est contradictoire, un couple, on dirait. Je trouvais ça bizarre que personne ne se souciait que ces femmes-là, c'était du vrai monde. La fille était quelqu'un derrière ses gros seins. Les hommes semblaient décider de tout: au gouvernement, dans les maisons, dans les jobs d'adultes pis même par rapport aux femmes pis à ce qu'elles doivent avoir l'air. C'étaient eux, les chanceux, pis nous autres fallait les servir, pas juste avec de la bouffe, mais avec nos sexes pis toutes. Faque il me fallait devenir quoi ? Je ne voulais pas servir un homme, ni avec mes appareils de cuisine ni avec mes appareils reproducteurs. Faque j'ai décidé que j'allais devenir une superhéroïne en string pis que j'allais libérer les guédailles pis les habiller, avec du linge qui ne viendrait pas de l'Armée du Salut. On ressemblerait toutes à Cyndi Lauper, on aurait du fun pis les messieurs pas fins auraient tous peur de nous.» Comment (et pourquoi) je suis devenue végane par Eve-Marie Gingras avec une préface d'Élise Desaulniers paru en 2020 aux éditions Écosociété. La bédéiste Eve-Marie Gingras nous fait partager son cheminement vers le véganisme alors qu'elle manipule du boeuf haché. Soudainement ce qu'elle tient dans ses mains lui paraît froid et mort. Elle se demande, nauséeuse, QUI, elle a touché et non plus QUOI. Se déroule alors, au fil des pages, une série de réflexions sur notre rapport à l'animal, mais aussi sur des problèmes plus larges de choix de sociétés et de consommation de viande. Richement documenté, cet album s'inspire des expériences concrètes de l'autrice. Loin de verser dans un angélisme buccolique, la narratrice se questionne ainsi sur le bien-être et le droit animal, l'antispécisme, le lien avec le féminisme et la dissonance cognitive, et bien entendu sur le bien-fondé de nos valeurs éthiques. Profondément empathique à l'égard de la cause animale, ce livre est une formidable découverte graphique qui diffuse une information fondamentale, eu égard aux nombreux défis environnementaux qui nous attendent à l'avenir. Eve-Marie Gingras est invitée à Mission encre noire. Extrait: « Tout ça pour dire que le patriarcat fait vraiment du mal à tout le monde, physiquement et mentalement, en nous cantonnant dans des rôles préétablis, rigides et inconfortables. Il est temps qu'on cesse d'y participer et qu'on passe à autre chose, tout le monde ensemble. Le véganisme ne peut certainement pas régler tous les problèmes auxquels on fait face, mais, comme les autres mouvements progressistes, il contribue efficacement à remettre en questions les discours dominants oppressifs. Ça me plaît ! D'ailleurs, c'est en devenant végane que j'ai pris connaissances de l'ampleur de notre domination sur les êtres animaux. leur sujétion est telle qu'elle nous est souvent invisible, malgré son omniprésence. Elle est dans nos divertissements, nos vêtements, nos cosmétiques, nos produits nettoyants, notre nourriture...Sans que tout cela ne soit nécessaire.»

mission tout tome loin salut lorsque cyndi lauper burgundy extrait michaud chapitre profond desaulniers faque pointe saint charles

E030 | 7 trucs pour apprendre à mieux te connaître

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2020 18:31

T'as probablement déjà entendu ” aide-toi et le ciel t'aidera”. Même si c'est super efficace comme dicton quand tu l'appliques, j'peux comprendre que des fois ça peut sonner bête et manquer de contexte. Si j'te disais à la place, “apprends à te connaître et tu vas augmenter ta capacité à prendre des choix éclairés et aussi à améliorer tes relations? C'est plus long, un peu quétaine, mais f*cking on point. Quand tu commences une nouvelle relation, as-tu l'habitude de vouloir TOUT savoir de l'autre personne d'une shot? Genre que sans être control freak, t'as hâte de savoir si ta date a un fetish sur les bas qui traînent par terre ou si c'est un psychopathe qui mange des chats. Ou quand tu commences une nouvelle formation en ligne, t'aimerais ça avoir un piton sur ta tête que quand tu appuies dessus, toute la matière s'enregistrerait automatiquement dans ton cerveau parce que t'as donc ben hâte de TOUT savoir sur le sujet! Mais c'est quand la dernière fois que tu t'as eu ce feeling là avec toi-même? C'est quand la dernière fois que t'as eu une envie folle d'apprendre à tout savoir sur toi-même? Genre, pourquoi que quand ton chum te dit qu'il t'aime, ça te fait sentir bien. Ou au contraire, quand il te reproche quelque chose, tu te sens comme une « marde »? Ou pourquoi quand tu te retrouves dans une foule tu te sens claustrophobe et t'as le sentiment d'étouffer? Ou pourquoi l'odeur d'une soupe aux légumes te donne l'eau à la bouche, mais qu'un potage aux légumes te donne le goût de vomir parce que sans t'en rendre compte, ça te rappelle un moment dans ta vie dans lequel t'étais malheureuse? Si tu te demandes encore pourquoi le ciel veut pas t'aider en t'envoyant la bonne personne ou la bonne opportunité d'affaires, c'est probablement parce que tu as pas pris le temps d'apprendre à te connaitre. Ben aujourd'hui, j'te partage 7 choses pour lesquelles tu dois t'asseoir avec un crayon, ton cell, ton laptop ou ton enregistreur et aller creuser deep deep down yourself pour apprendre à savoir toi, té qui! La première, nécessite pas de creuser ben loin, c'est plus un statement. C'est plus une réalisation que tu dois avoir pour ensuite pouvoir prendre une décision qui va t'amener plus loin dans la connaissance de soi. C'est que t'es responsable de ton bonheur à 100%. TOUT LE TEMPS! Pis là, tu vas peut-être me dire…oui mais mary, si je me chicane avec ma soeur, c'est pas nécessairement de ma faute, c'est elle qui veut pas comprendre. Pis moi j'te réponds, t'as peut-être raison sur le fait que ta soeur comprenne rien, j'le sais pas. Mais ce que j'sais, c'est qu'elle est pas responsable de comment TOI tu te sens à l'intérieur face à la situation. Ta perception de la situation, de toutes les situations, ça t'appartient juste à toi! Pas à ta soeur, ni à ton voisin. It's yours, bella! Peu importe ce qui se passe dans ta vie, peu importe les obstacles que tu vis, tu es responsable de ton bonheur et de ta vision de voir la vie. Le verre, yé tu à moitié vide, à moitié plein ou ben y déborde? Tu vois, ça fait environ 2 ans que je regarde mon frigo pis que j'me dis qu'il lui en reste pas long à vivre… y commençait à être vieux pis honnêtement, même moi j'étais tannée de le voir. Mais, j'me disais que j'attendrais d'avoir un bon budget (parce que my gosh, ça coûte cher un frigo!) pour acheter la Tesla des frigos. Mais là, surprise! Lui, y s'en fou de mon budget, pis ya décidé de mourir cette semaine. Demême! Sans avertissement. En plein milieu de semaine quand on venait de faire l'épicerie… Faque j'avais 2 choix. Soit 1 – être en criss parce que j'ai perdu ma bouffe et parce que j'ai clairement pas le budget d'acheter la tesla des frigo faque j'vais devoir me contenter d'un frigo ben normal pour les prochaines années ou 2, être contente parce que j'ai quand même la possibilité...

tesla tout pas quand dem mieux apprendre lui peu soit conna toi pis trucs faque

E022 | J'te jase de vacances…

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2020 15:50

C'est le temps des vacances! Whooo!!! Mais attends, tu peux pas voyager à l'extérieur, tes finances sont probablement un peu écorchées dû à la Covid et tes enfants ont un besoin intense de changer la routine d'être à la maison. Faque on fait quoi dans ce temps-là? Aujourd'hui, j'avais envie de te jaser de ce que nous on a décidé de faire. Quelques chose de tout simple qui a rendu les filles vraiment contentes! Passe une belle journée! Mary Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI

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E020 | Mon breakdown de fin de trimestre

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2020 23:39

Si t'as écouté l'épisode #1 du podcast, tu sais qu'à chaque 3 mois environ, j'ai un mini breakdown dû à la surcharge de travail de fin de trimestre. Dans le domaine de la comptabilité, pour plusieurs compagnies, chaque 3 mois, c'est la fin de trimestre. On doit faire les déclarations de taxes et de DAS Et ça, ça nécessite beaucoup de concentration (parce que tsé, on veut pas faire d'erreur) et si le dossier du client est pas à jour, parce que soit y t'a pas tout donner à temps ou soit t'as pris du retard parce que tsé, on est souvent dans le juice, ça ajoute du stress à la situation! Faque à chaque 3 mois, j'ai le gout de me mettre en p'tite boule pis de pleurer ma vie parce que j'ai la chienne de pas être à temps pour envoyer tous les rapports comme il faut. Mais cette fois-ci, ça a été différent. Et j'avais 2 trimestres en 1 + un lancement de cohorte de formation en ligne... J'avais envie de partager ça avec toi today! Bonne écoute! Passe une belle journée! Mary Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI

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E012 | Profiter du moment présent avec tes 5 sens

Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2020 14:48

Bon vendredi, ou lundi, ou mercredi....ça dépend quand tu écoutes cet épisode de podcast. L'épisode d'aujourd'hui a été inspiré de mon café du matin, dimanche dernier. J'étais sur le divan dans le salon, collée sur mon chum et je lisais un livre sur le storytelling en prenant des notes sur mon rocketbook. Je pense que je devais être rendue à ma 3 ou 4e gorgée et là, paf! Sans m'en rendre compte, j'ai actuellement pris le temps de boire cette gorgée là. Sans m'en rendre compte, j'ai savouré le goût riche et crémeux de ma tasse de nespresso. J'ai même portée attention à l'odeur qui émanait de ma tasse et j'te jure, j'pense même que j'ai fermé les yeux et qu'un son genre mmmmmm est sorti de ma bouche. Si quelqu'un m'avait filmé, je l'aurais envoyé à nespresso pis j'pas mal sûre que j'aurais eu une job de porte parole. C'était intense à ce point là. Et là, ça m'a fait prendre conscience que profiter du moment présent, hell, de la seconde présente comme ça, c'est précieux en ta! Et que ça arrive pas assez souvent. Faque, c'est de ça que j'te parle aujourd'hui: ce que ça veut dire profiter du moment présent avec tes 5 sens. Passes une belle journée! Mary Mon rocketbook Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast? Va voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI

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Podcast #271 - 23 avril 2020 - The Last Guardian, Zelda BotW, Subnautica, The World Ends With You et plus!

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Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2020

Cette semaine, on a découvert qu'on est tout les 3 super gros fans de thé. Faque on geek out de thé pendant au moins 20 minutes!

Podcast #271 - 23 avril 2020 - The Last Guardian, Zelda BotW, Subnautica, The World Ends With You et plus!

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Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2020

Cette semaine, on a découvert qu'on est tout les 3 super gros fans de thé. Faque on geek out de thé pendant au moins 20 minutes!

Podcast #271 - 23 avril 2020 - The Last Guardian, Zelda BotW, Subnautica, The World Ends With You et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2020

Cette semaine, on a découvert qu'on est tout les 3 super gros fans de thé. Faque on geek out de thé pendant au moins 20 minutes! :D Anyway, c'est chill: le thé va super bien avec les jeux vidéos!De quoi on a parlé:Du thé dans le clavierL’outil à pu'erThe Last GuardianZelda: Breath of the WildSubnauticaSurvive! Mola MolaLes manettes de NintendoThe World Ends With You (version DS versus Switch)999The Stanley ParableA Street Cat’s Taleet plus![Télécharger MP3]Faites clic droit : Enregistrer le lien.window.podcastData={"title":"On a juste une vie","subtitle":"Jeux vidéo et jeux de mots poches","description":"","cover":"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ouiVpu1jCf0/TQMDdYd_ehI/AAAAAAAADrc/Wm91yGND55k/s1600/logo+podcasts.png","feeds":[{"type":"audio","format":"mp3","url":"https://www.onajusteunevie.ca/feeds/posts/default","directory-url-itunes":"https://podcasts.apple.com/fr/podcast/on-a-juste-une-vie/id397057903"}]}Subscribe to feedAbonnez-vous!Apple PodcastYoutubeTwitch Et si vous voulez nous aider, vous pouvez partager l'émission à vos amis! Ça nous ferait vraiment plaisir :)Remerciements:Chroniqueurs: Anne-Marie, narF, Blob Thème musical: BlobMontage: narF

Podcast #266 - 19 mars 2020 - Chibi-Robo, Zelda BotW, Tingle in Rosy Rupeeland et plus!

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Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2020

On parle juste de jeux pendant 1h30, pis aucunement du sujet-dont-tout-le-monde-parle-ces-temps-ci. Faque c'est chill. Oh... sauf le boutte où Blob nous parle d'un gars avec des faux bras en plastique pour tousser dans son coude. Mais ça c'est juste drôle. De quoi on a parlé: Les jeux gratuits sur Epic Store: The Stanley Parable et ... Continuer la lecture

Podcast #266 - 19 mars 2020 - Chibi-Robo, Zelda BotW, Tingle in Rosy Rupeeland et plus!

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Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2020

On parle juste de jeux pendant 1h30, pis aucunement du sujet-dont-tout-le-monde-parle-ces-temps-ci. Faque c'est chill. Oh... sauf le boutte où Blob nous parle d'un gars avec des faux bras en plastique pour tousser dans son coude. Mais ça c'est juste drôle. De quoi on a parlé: Les jeux gratuits sur Epic Store: The Stanley Parable et ... Continuer la lecture

Podcast #266 - 19 mars 2020 - Chibi-Robo, Zelda BotW, Tingle in Rosy Rupeeland et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2020

On parle juste de jeux pendant 1h30, pis aucunement du sujet-dont-tout-le-monde-parle-ces-temps-ci. Faque c'est chill. Oh... sauf le boutte où Blob nous parle d'un gars avec des faux bras en plastique pour tousser dans son coude. Mais ça c'est juste drôle.De quoi on a parlé:Les jeux gratuits sur Epic Store: The Stanley Parable et Watch DogsChibi-Robo!Zelda Breath of the WildMonster Hunter WorldFreshly Picked Tingle in Rosy RupeelandHungry Cat PicrossSpeed Dating for Ghostset plus![Télécharger MP3]Faites clic droit : Enregistrer le lien.window.podcastData={"title":"On a juste une vie","subtitle":"Jeux vidéo et jeux de mots poches","description":"","cover":"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ouiVpu1jCf0/TQMDdYd_ehI/AAAAAAAADrc/Wm91yGND55k/s1600/logo+podcasts.png","feeds":[{"type":"audio","format":"mp3","url":"https://www.onajusteunevie.ca/feeds/posts/default","directory-url-itunes":"https://podcasts.apple.com/fr/podcast/on-a-juste-une-vie/id397057903"}]}Subscribe to feedAbonnez-vous!iTunesYoutubeFacebookTwitterEt si vous voulez nous aider, vous pouvez partager l'émission à vos amis! Ça nous ferait vraiment plaisir :)Remerciements:Chroniqueurs: Anne-Marie, narF, BlobThème musical: BlobMontage: narF

003 | Les Émotions des autres ça t'appartient pas

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2020 18:07

Les bases du bonheur (Le respect de soi et des autres) Bon vendredi! Voici l'épisode 3 du bonheur sans bullshit. Cette semaine on parle de quelque chose qui fait partie de ton quotidien. Quelque chose qui va souvent influencer tes actions, tes pensées, tes décisions, voir même ton opinion que tu as de toi-même. Dans cet épisode, on discute du fait que les émotions des autres ça ne t'appartient pas et comment lâcher prise sur celles-ci te rendra plus heureuse. L'exposition aux émotions des autres c'est sur une base quotidienne et c'est vital d'apprendre à reconnaître celles qui sont nocives pour toi si tu veux réussir à avancer dans ton évolution. Nos pensées créent nos émotions, nos émotions engendrent nos actions et nos actions créent nos résultats. Imagine que dans toutes les situations dans lesquelles tu te retrouves, tu pourrais être…juste toi. Imagine qu'être toi-même, ce serait assez. Et même, se serait parfait. Ben ça peut être ta réalité. Faque les émotions des autres, ça t'appartient pas. Si un client se fâche contre toi parce qu'il a une mauvaise journée, ça t'appartient pas. Si ta tante est déçue parce que tu as décidé de skipper le prochain gathering familial, ça t'appartient pas. Si ton voisin trouve que ta nouvelle déco sur ton porche avant est quétaine, ça t'appartient pas. Du moment que tu respectes les autres et que tu agis selon tes valeurs, lâche prise sur les émotions des autres et tu vas voir, ça va te faire du bien et ça va rendre ta prise de décision plus facile dans le futur. Sur ce, jte souhaite un beau week end! À plus! Mary Site web : https://www.MaryeveLamer.com Instagram : @maryeve_lamer Groupe FB : https://www.maryevelamer.com/groupe Page FB: https://MaryeveLamer.com/page Tu aimerais te lancer un podcast? Vas voir L'Académie du Podcast, c'est LA SEULE ressource francophone qui va te montrer comment lancer ton podcast de A à Z! APPRENDS COMMENT LANCER TON PODCAST ICI

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Podcast #260 - 30 janvier 2020 - GNOG, Monster Hunter Iceborne, Deathwing, Observer et plus!

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Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2020

Mettons que t'as juste une vie là... Genre que tu devrais pas aller te battre contre un gros dragon. Genre mettons que c'est pas super une bonne idée. Faque évidemment on parle de gros dragons. Ouais, ouais. Pas juste UN gros dragon, là! Plusieurs!! De quoi on a parlé: G-Anime Polly Pocket et Mighty Max ... Continuer la lecture

Podcast #260 - 30 janvier 2020 - GNOG, Monster Hunter Iceborne, Deathwing, Observer et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2020

Mettons que t'as juste une vie là... Genre que tu devrais pas aller te battre contre un gros dragon. Genre mettons que c'est pas super une bonne idée. Faque évidemment on parle de gros dragons. Ouais, ouais. Pas juste UN gros dragon, là! Plusieurs!! De quoi on a parlé: G-Anime Polly Pocket et Mighty Max ... Continuer la lecture

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Podcast #260 - 30 janvier 2020 - GNOG, Monster Hunter Iceborne, Deathwing, Observer et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2020

Mettons que t'as juste une vie là... Genre que tu devrais pas aller te battre contre un gros dragon. Genre mettons que c'est pas super une bonne idée. Faque évidemment on parle de gros dragons. Ouais, ouais. Pas juste UN gros dragon, là! Plusieurs!!De quoi on a parlé:G-AnimePolly Pocket et Mighty MaxGNOGMonster Hunter: World IceborneMonster Hunter World x Dragalia LostNouveau héros de Heroes of the Storm: DeathwingObserveret plus![Télécharger MP3]Faites clic droit : Enregistrer le lien.window.podcastData={"title":"On a juste une vie","subtitle":"Jeux vidéo et jeux de mots poches","description":"","cover":"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ouiVpu1jCf0/TQMDdYd_ehI/AAAAAAAADrc/Wm91yGND55k/s1600/logo+podcasts.png","feeds":[{"type":"audio","format":"mp3","url":"https://www.onajusteunevie.ca/feeds/posts/default","directory-url-itunes":"https://podcasts.apple.com/fr/podcast/on-a-juste-une-vie/id397057903"}]}Subscribe to feedAbonnez-vous!iTunesYoutubeFacebookTwitterEt si vous voulez nous aider, vous pouvez partager l'émission à vos amis! Ça nous ferait vraiment plaisir :)Liens mentionnés:Nous sommes distribués par L'Antre du GeekRemerciements:Chroniqueurs: Anne-Marie, narF, BlobThème musical: BlobMontage: narF

BASS BASTARDS NYE 2019 by MOSO

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2020 58:02

Let's start the year off right and check out my NYE 2019 Liveset! Some brand new Bass House bangers made it into this set. Have fun and let me know what you think! MOSO

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Podcast #256 - 19 décembre 2019 - Purrfect Date, GOG Galaxy 2.0, Synchrony, claviers mécaniques et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2019

Si on était un podcast 8bits, on serait revenu à l'épisode 0, parce qu'en 8bits, après 255, ça retombe à zéro! Wow!! On a overflow!! On a fait trop de podcasts!! Oh wait non, on est en 2019. On a des floats et des long et tout est devenu en 64bits. Faque y'a pas de problème. On peut se rendre à genre 9 223 372 036 854 775 807 épisodes sans problème d'overflow!On pis en passant, trigger warning pour les aiguilles dans les premiers 10 minutes du podcast.De quoi on a parlé:trigger warning: aiguilles et don de sangDune (le livre)Les claviers mécaniques et de MacCelestePurrfect DatePiratage de jeuxComment les jeux ajustent leur difficulté automatiquementEpic StoreLe nouveau launcher GOG Galaxy 2.0Les alliances dans JWAsynchrony.nycFF14 et les Blue MagesLa gomme savonMy Solo Exchange Diary, Vol.1 et 2[Télécharger MP3]Faites clic droit : Enregistrer le lien.window.podcastData={"title":"On a juste une vie","subtitle":"Jeux vidéo et jeux de mots poches","description":"","cover":"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ouiVpu1jCf0/TQMDdYd_ehI/AAAAAAAADrc/Wm91yGND55k/s1600/logo+podcasts.png","feeds":[{"type":"audio","format":"mp3","url":"https://www.onajusteunevie.ca/feeds/posts/default","directory-url-itunes":"https://podcasts.apple.com/fr/podcast/on-a-juste-une-vie/id397057903"}]}Subscribe to feedAbonnez-vous!iTunesYoutubeFacebookTwitterEt si vous voulez nous aider, vous pouvez partager l'émission à vos amis! Ça nous ferait vraiment plaisir :)Liens mentionnés:Nous sommes distribués par L'Antre du GeekRemerciements:Chroniqueurs: Anne-Marie, narF, BlobThème musical: BlobMontage: narF

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Podcast #256 - 19 décembre 2019 - Purrfect Date, GOG Galaxy 2.0, Synchrony, claviers mécaniques et plus!

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Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2019

Si on était un podcast 8bits, on serait revenu à l'épisode 0, parce qu'en 8bits, après 255, ça retombe à zéro! Wow!! On a overflow!! On a fait trop de podcasts!! Oh wait non, on est en 2019. On a des floats et des long et tout est devenu en 64bits. Faque y'a pas de ... Continuer la lecture

CHRISTMAS BASS - 3. ADVENT by MOSO

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2019 59:48

Uuuh. You got a warm feeling in your stomach? No, that's not the warm chocolate your're drinking right now. That's my fucking big bass bangers, vibrating through your intestines. Want more? Checkout my other BASS BASTARDS sets. MOSO

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BASS BASTARDS VOL 2 by MOSO

Multiple Climax Podcast - Rave by 'eMGo

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2019 56:47

What's up guys? Check out my new episode of BASS BASTARDS! Again with some of the latest Bass House bangers but also with a couple of older songs. I kind of like the mixture. Let me know what you think about it. MOSO

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Multiple Climax Podcast - Rave Vol. 4 by 'eMGo

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2019 48:40

Hello and welcome to my new episode of the Rave podcast. This time i focused on Minimal Bounce, a mixture of todays EDM and classic Minimal Techno. Have fun listening and enjoy. If music is your dedication too, then pm us on Instagram. We'd love to publish your DJ-Mix under the flag of Multiple Climax. Please check out our social media and leave a like ;-)

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MOSO - Live @ Garden Party Muenster 2019

Multiple Climax Podcast - Rave by 'eMGo

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2019 65:18

This episode is my live set at the Garden Party Muenster 2019. It begins with some of the latest bass house tracks and switches to future house somewhere in the middle of the set. I am constantly trying to build a bridge between these two genres because in my opinion they can really create a great groove together. Just check it out and let me know what you think about it. MOSO

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Multiple Climax Podcast - Rave Vol. 1 by 'eMGo

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2019 63:13

- Multiple Climax - A german union of music producers, DJ's and socializing specialists. We provide new tracks, DJ-Sets and Podcasts via Spotify, Deezer and Youtube in monthly fashion. My name is 'eMGo, one of the founders of Multiple Climax and this is my first Podcast! Enjoy a my Set with newstyle and older Techno. Track list: Billie Eilish - bad guy T78 - Roboto (Original Mix) Spiros Kaloumenos - Morphing Circles (Original Mix) Mighty Mouse, Mark Broom - The Spirit (Mark Broom's Club Rub Extended Remix) Drumcode - DC159 - Jay Lumen - Horizon Jay Lumen - Solar (Original Mix) Time Wave - Alexander Technique, PDRO, Raw Reset Beroshima, Marcel Dettmann - Interplugreaction (Marcel Dettmann Remix) Umek, D-Unity - Total Invasion (Original Mix) DJ Rush, Dave Simon - Get On Up (Dave Simon Edit) MODIG - Latissimus (Blawan Remix) 123incognito - Shake (Edit) Akon - Lonely - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Find more Multiple Climax music through the links below: BASS BASTARDS by MOSO http://bit.ly/bassbastardsplaylist-spotify http://bit.ly/bassbastardssets-spotify http://bit.ly/bassbastards-youtube http://bit.ly/bassbastards-deezer faque life by faque http://bit.ly/faquelifeplaylist-spotify http://bit.ly/faquelifesets-spotify http://bit.ly/faquelife-youtube http://bit.ly/faquelife-deezer FORMULA FUTURE by MOSO http://bit.ly/formulafutureplaylist-spotify http://bit.ly/formulafuture-youtube house seizure by faque http://bit.ly/houseseizureplaylist-spotify http://bit.ly/houseseizuresets-spotify http://bit.ly/houseseizure-youtube http://bit.ly/houseseizure-deezer RAVE by ‘eMGo http://bit.ly/raveplaylist-spotify http://bit.ly/ravesets-spotify http://bit.ly/rave-youtube http://bit.ly/rave-deezer xxx by faque http://bit.ly/xxxplaylist-spotify http://bit.ly/xxx-youtube

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Ep. 364 - Faque on oublie ça Los Angeles

KAN FC LE PODCAST

Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2019 57:24

www.kanfootballclub.com

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Ep. 364 - Faque on oublie ça Los Angeles

KAN FC LE PODCAST

Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2019 57:24

www.kanfootballclub.com

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Ep. 364 - Faque on oublie ça Los Angeles

Kan Football Club

Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2019

www.kanfootballclub.com

los angeles oublie faque

Ep. 364 - Faque on oublie ça Los Angeles

Kan Football Club

Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2019

www.kanfootballclub.com

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Capsule 25 Jaser Français

Jaser français

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2018 7:19

Voici la capsule 25 de Jaser français, pour pratiquer votre accent québécois! On y traite de la locution Faque Le brise-glace : Ta menute (1:44) La capsule : Faque (2:13) Crédit musique : ma grand-mère qui joue un morceau dont elle a oublié le nom depuis belle lurette. Allez sur mon site pour avoir plus d'information! contactez-moi à jaserfrancais@gmail.com www.jaserfrancais.ca

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Épisode 56 – Bloopers!

Envoye Tabarn!#*

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2018 20:15

Cette semaine, on retourne dans nos vieux épisodes question de sortir nos bloopers d’avant show…Faque ben oui, on a manqué de temps pis c’est le seul contenu qu’on a réussi à sortir cette semaine…ENJOY!

bloopers faque

LPB #585 - Erich Preach - Ven - “...Je me suis toujours assumé comme un chien, faque c’pas grave...”

Les Sorbets du Caractère Mou

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2017 22:22

Eh oui! On y est arrivé. C’est le tout dernier show quotidien de 2017. Pour te gâter, on jase de fast-food et de films de Noël. Merci à Preach pour sa présence, Vanessa et Nick. À toutes celles et ceux qui nous suivent: Merci. Notre Recap 2017 s’en vient la semaine prochaine. D’ici là, passez un merveilleux temps des fêtes. On recommence les épisodes quotidiens pas plus tard que dès le 1er janvier 2018.Je vous aime - Chuck Erich: http://www.facebook.com/ErichPreachEtienne/ Vanessa: http://www.facebook.com/vanessa.chandonnet Nick: http://www.facebook.com/nicprovo?fref=ts Chuck: http://www.facebook.com/charles.tleduc YouTube: http://goo.gl/K2kKOo iTunes: http://goo.gl/n1411W Google Play: http://goo.gl/KUTKG4 Stitcher: http://goo.gl/ejqg62 Twittinons ensemble: Vaneska: http://twitter.com/lasorteuse Nick: http://twitter.com/NickProvost Chuck: http://twitter.com/Chucktl Le Petit Bonheur: http://twitter.com/lepbonheur Merci de nous suivre!

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S2E43 - Lettre au père noël - What did you say - Switch

Jamais content

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2017 94:03

J'pourrais écrire une description mais anyway tu la lieras pas pis c'est la beta de monster hunter en fin de semaine. Faque fuck off, cordialement. *des liens pis toute*

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Épisode 079 - Boum Boum

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2017

On s'enregistre avec nos casques de VR sur la tête en train de jouer au jeu "Desert Bus VR" qui consiste à conduire un autobus virtuel dans le désert pendant genre 8 heures. Faque en plus de décrire le moindrement ce qu'on fait en conduisant on jase de déménagement, de cinéma pour adulte, de d'autres jeux, de Thor Ragnarok et de crème glacée. Ah pis on parle à Farluche le violent et Racoin le canard qui fume.Desert Bus VRAnniversaires de mariageTélécharger l'épisode

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S2E29 - Irritants jeux vidéos - Avantages d'être raciste - Futur du jeu vidéo

Jamais content

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2017 77:08

Salut, J'avais vraiment l'intention d'écrire une description rigolote mais j'suis hangover quel' criss. Faque check le titre, écoutes le show pis inventes toi une belle description dans ta tête. Bonne semaine. Pour nous suivre ou nous joindre: E-mail: jamaiscontentpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/jamaiscontent_p Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JamaisContentPodcast/ Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jamais-content iTunes : https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/jamais-content/id1086770518?l=fr&mt=2 Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAzx_CehEwpuH4sct7jzMGA Stitcher : http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/jamais-content Google Play music :https://goo.gl/app/playmusic?ibi=com.google.PlayMusic&isi=691797987&ius=googleplaymusic&link=https://play.google.com/music/m/Igyf5xxwzg6nm4wovw66fl5uabu?t%3DJamais_content

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LPB #381 - Thomas Levac - Lun - Briser des affaires et le gros web!

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2016 27:32

Bon lundi à tous. T’as juste pas le droit de manquer cet épisode. On reçoit Thomas Levac et c’est franchement bon. Dans tes oreilles: Chuck s’inspire d’un show fait...à l’UQAM, Thomas aime penser que les lundis peuvent lui apporter de bonnes habitudes...mais non, Nick explique qu’il doit bien gagner sa croute, Thomas est bon pour casser des relations, Vicky est un golden retriever de l’amour, Émilie brise toutes ses voitures, C’est bin’ du trouble de partir la voiture d’Émilie, Nick a brisé son verre GoldenEye, Vicky a toujours la trame sonore qui va avec toutes ses aventures, Thomas s’imagine l’actualité juste en lisant les titres, Nick est très méticuleux musicalement parlant, Chuck avoue aimer Henrie Des, Émilie est une grande fan de Pinterest, Thomas nous rassure: nous pouvons naviguer sur les sites pornos gratuis, Thomas aime ESPN, on ADORE Reddit, Chuck déballe son amour pour Imgur et plus. Faque c’est parti! Le show juste-comme-style parfait pour casser la glace. À demain! Le roi Levac incontesté de Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thomas.levac.9?fref=ts Émilie la pétillante: http://www.facebook.com/emilie.lapointe.52?fref=ts Vicky notre top-collabo: http://www.facebook.com/vickyye?fref=ts L’incomparable Nick: http://www.facebook.com/nicprovo?fref=ts Votre animateur: http://www.facebook.com/charles.tleduc Facebook - iTunes - Youtube - Google Play - Stitcher Twittinons ensemble: Thomas: http://twitter.com/@ThomLevac Nick: http://twitter.com/@NickProvost Vicky: http://twitter.com/Viick_GF LPB: http://twitter.com/lepbonheur Chuck: http://twitter.com/Chucktl Merci de nous suivre!

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Épisode 36 - Allégeance Marque - Légendes Urbaines - Mode

Jamais content

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2016 118:20

Cette semaine Jamais content change de formule, on chialent pu et on parle des trucs positifs d'la vie. HAHA, comme si on étaient capable. Faque en entrée Gab parle du sentiment d’appartenance au marques et comment selon lui les compagnies en profitent..c'esssssttt plaaaaatee. Steve relate quelques légendes urbaines et la quatrième va vous couper le souffle ! Pour finir Audet parle d'un sujet qui lui tient à coeur, la mode (checkez lui l'allure, c’est clairement un enjeu d'importance pour lui). BOOOOONNNNNEEEEE SEEEEEMAAAAAINNNNNEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pour nous suivre ou nous joindre: E-mail: jamaiscontentpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/jamaiscontent_p Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JamaisContentPodcast/ Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jamais-content iTunes : https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/jamais-content/id1086770518?l=fr&mt=2 Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAzx_CehEwpuH4sct7jzMGA Stitcher : http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/jamais-content Google Play music :https://goo.gl/app/playmusic?ibi=com.google.PlayMusic&isi=691797987&ius=googleplaymusic&link=https://play.google.com/music/m/Igyf5xxwzg6nm4wovw66fl5uabu?t%3DJamais_content

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LPB - Ép 281 - Lun - Ton plan ultime pour t’évader de prison/Si tu avais à te transporter dans une époque, laquelle choisirais-tu

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2016 21:56

Bon lundi! On est prêt, on est fébrile! Et surtout, SURTOUT, on accueille notre invité de la semaine: le très comique Alexandre Bisaillon! On a également la chance d’avoir une nouvelle parmi les collaborateurs une nouvelle recrue, la pétillante Audrey Patenaude. Faque gros show fou, vl’à c’qui a dedans: Nick commence en parlant de ses selles, Alexandre nous raconte une soirée d’impro/stand-up qui aurait pu tourner au désastre, Vicky trippe sur le macaroni, Alex devrait de se faire ami à son compagnon de cellule pour qu’il s’évade, Alexandre voudrait se voir à sa naissance, Nick voudrait protéger les grands inventeurs, Chuck voudrait se transporter dans les années 70, Vicky voudrait voir les Colocs revivre, Vicky ne manque pas une occasion de plugger son voyage à Paris, on parle de l’histoire sans fin, Chuck parle d’”Il était une fois l’homme”, Alexandre écoutait “Petite Lulu” et bien plus! On se reparle demain pour un autre PB. À plus! Facebook - iTunes - Youtube - Stitcher La page d’Alexandre: https://www.facebook.com/Alexandre-Bisaillon-309699087890/?fref=ts Les shows de Nick: https://goo.gl/74eR9M On lit Vicky ici: http://noussommeslespopulaires.com/?p=11546 Audrey photographie là: https://goo.gl/q80pjk Twitter: Alexandre: http://www.twitter.com/alexbisaillon LPB: http://www.twitter.com/lepbonheur Chuck: http://www.twitter.com/Chucktl Nick: http://www.twitter.com/NickProvost Vicky: http://www.twitter.com/Viick_GF Audrey: http://www.twitter.com/PatenaudeAudrey

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Podcast #94 - 10 septembre 2015 - Ingress, Pokémon Go, Yokai Watch, Metal Gear Solid 5 et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2015

L'annonce de Pokémon Go nous a lancé sur un trip de Pokémon et nous a fait imaginé plein d'affaires que ça pourrait être. Anne-Marie a joué au jeux précédent de la compagnie qui va le faire, donc ça nous donne une bonne idée. Faque on va tous s'acheter des iPhones 6S+? Et des iPad Pro? ... Continuer la lecture

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Podcast #86 - 16 juillet 2015 - Satoru Iwata, Fables, Far Cry, Just Cause et plus!

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2015

Faque cette semaine, narF a fait un arrêt cardiaque LIVE pendant le podcast. Ou plutôt, c'est ce qu'on pensait mais il a survécu finalement. Et comme on a juste une vie, ben c'est vraiment une bonne chose! Ça nous a permis de sortir mille jeux de mots et jokes poches à la fin de l'émission. ... Continuer la lecture

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Podcast #82 - 18 juin 2015 - Spécial E3!

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2015

Faque c'était le E3 la semaine passée. Qu'est-ce qui vous a rendu fébriles? Qu'est-ce qui vous a achalé? Nous on parle des jeux cools qui nous ont impressionnés, comme d'autres parlent des robes aux Oscars. En plus, Louis est revenu nous voir! Yay! De quoi on a parlé: Le E3! Ce qu'on a trouvé cool ... Continuer la lecture

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Podcast #63 - 5 février 2015 - Apotheon, Survive! Mola Mola!, Psychonauts, Massive Chalice et plus!