Podcasts about first of all

  • 51PODCASTS
  • 149EPISODES
  • 55mAVG DURATION
  • ?INFREQUENT EPISODES
  • Apr 15, 2025LATEST

POPULARITY

20172018201920202021202220232024


Best podcasts about first of all

Latest podcast episodes about first of all

Asian Voices Radio
Minji Chang: Storytelling, Representation & Breaking Barriers - 5 X 2

Asian Voices Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2025 33:10


Minji Chang is a Korean American actor, producer, writer, and podcast host based in Los Angeles. Originally from the San Francisco Bay Area, she earned a BA in Public Health from UC Berkeley and initially worked in violence prevention and tech before transitioning to the entertainment industry. She served as the Global Executive Director of Kollaboration, a nonprofit dedicated to uplifting AAPI artists, where she launched the EMPOWER Creative Leadership Conference and partnered with major studios and the White House. Minji now serves on Kollaboration's Board of Directors and continues championing diversity and AAPI representation in media. She co-produces the Asian Pacific Filmmakers Experience at major film festivals, hosts the podcast First Of All, and is producing her first feature documentary, ASHIMA. As a theater-trained actor, she has appeared in indie films and viral sketches and is the voice of Songbird in Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty. Minji is also a seasoned commercial voice actor with clients including Google, Spotify, Samsung, and Sephora.

Naturally Recovering Autism with Karen Thomas
How Full Moons Affect Parasite Activity in Humans [Podcast Episode #205]

Naturally Recovering Autism with Karen Thomas

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2024 28:47


Keep track of the lunar cycle each month and observe whether your child's symptoms, or your own, intensify in the days leading up to and following the full moon. [This is podcast episode #205]. The full moon has long been associated with a range of mysterious phenomena, from sleep disturbances to heightened emotions. But one of the more intriguing aspects is that full moons can increase parasite activity in humans. Is there any truth to this claim, or is it just another lunar myth?  Let's explore how the moon's phases, particularly the full moon, might impact the behavior of parasites and what science has to say about it. First Of All, How Do We Get Parasites? Common ways we get parasites are from inhaling them from the air we breathe, in the food we eat, drinking water, swimming or bathing in contaminated water, and through our skin. Lesions in the skin, especially on the feet, allow for easy entrance into the body. Animals carry different parasites that they may pass onto humans. Plus, poor hygiene also plays a big role. Understanding Parasites and Their Behavior Parasites are organisms that live off a host, relying on them for nutrients and shelter. Human parasites include a range of organisms such as protozoa (like Giardia), helminths (such as tapeworms and roundworms), and external parasites like lice. Their lifecycle often depends on factors such as environmental changes, the host's immune system, and how many have noticed, even the lunar cycle. While parasite infestations can go unnoticed for some time, they can lead to significant health issues, including gastrointestinal problems, fatigue, and weakened immune responses. Understanding how these organisms behave is crucial to preventing and managing infections. Click Here or Click the link below for more details! https://naturallyrecoveringautism.com/205

THE COMPARISON GROUP
THE REASON BIDEN COULD LOSE

THE COMPARISON GROUP

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2024 48:47


Send us a Text Message.THE BEST POLITICAL PODCAST FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE POLITICS. FIRST OF ALL, I HAVE TO GIVE MY THOUGHTS ON P DIDDY. WE ARE WELL PAST TIME FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY TO PRACTICE WHAT THEY PREACH. I GIVE MY THOUGHTS ON THE DONALD TRUMP CONVICTION AND LET YOU KNOW HOW HIS SUPPORTERS TOOK IT. I GIVE MY THOUGHTS ON WHAT APPEARS TO BE A MANTRA ON THE LEFT THAT COULD VERY WELL COST BIDEN THE ELECTION IN NOVEMBER. I WRAP UP BY GIVING SOME THOUGHTS ON WNBA PLAYER ANGEL REESE.

The Northpark Baptist Podcast
Ep. 330 First Of All, Pray

The Northpark Baptist Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2024 58:18


Ep. 330 First Of All, Pray by Pastor Sal Martinez

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential
Story Mix 3- [The “Two and a Half” Mix]

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28


No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet *coughing* hate .

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Nothin.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Cause what's the difference

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]
Story Mix 3 - [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28


No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

Gerald’s World.
BLESSED.

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51


No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™
Story Mix 2- [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 25:28


No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet Ah, fuck it.

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™
Story Mix 2 - [The “Two and A Half” Mix]

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 102:51


No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

No room for error No passing judgement That one went faster I better run for cover Well-warrior, not a fighter— I'll fight to the death for ever after She said “I've never been happier” A paraphrase, actually What a celebrity All I asked was for protection The fame and wealth can wait, j guess A well warrior, never a fighter Well, As long as I'm healthy Been thinking of traveling That might be worth it I've never been so frightened, I think But always been selfish Hold on, I gotta run to another dimension I left my stomach on ice I've been eating my eyes out My son is in prison Ex husband, a fighter The wifebeating's genetic I'm just multidimensional Now the demon's behind me Over my right shoulder I took my own crucifix Like I lifted the boulder I told you I could bury my credits With the devil “You have no power here! “ If madonna's the good witch Then what of Beyoncé I took my sacrifice down to the alter. What did you want The coughs to stop haunting you What did you ask? I just asked for protection But I've been surrounded by demons Wife waters and cheating husbands Not a shaman, Just another lost one I put some miles on these runners— I clocked in 20 of em since the sabbath Give or take Or give Or take Or I'm not doing my job If Shazam isn't on I'm not doing my job If I never show up Just to run And the show must go on But if I want to try Juliard I have to work harder I have to hope for alone I had to apologize to my body I got depressed when my son went back to his father Back to alaska Where it all started —I still think about Jimmy Fallon when I'm holding a fart in. What do you cal that? A comic relief. (Or a con man) Sorry, I got off track When I got what I wanted I bought it all back at the pawn shop Just from a deposit On a long haul I'm the wrong one to fuck with By a long shot Fuck it, When I walk off, The show starts And after, An encore (Of four of em) My DJ brain's back on I gotta get to work I gotta get a job I gotta learn to twerk I should smoke more I gotta show em what I've got Never—ever tell God you're bored. GOD What's that?! NOTHIN SUNNI BLU Somebody tell these hoodlums crocs ain't shoes! I see you stomping through the ghetto With some slippers on In a rain storm What the fuck is going on Trash on the floor Your asses are done FORE! (Meanwhile, at some golf course The landlords are making sure If there are more of us, We're all dumb) I'm only suicidal When the lights are on I'm only suicidal When the night is gone It's back to morning Busses full of strangers On their cellulars I pray to God To stop the coughs She must be deaf or something GOD What. Or it's just Illuminati Gotta run to even be a thought I've been forgotten in the dust I never ever had a brother Like the one I've got (The sun I'm under) I'll never ever cry under the moon, I promise I'll never wonder if he's coming soon The answer was never But I used to wonder I used to have friends They used me I got used to being humiliated I got used to being inhuman Negative—negative. I guess it's back to deadmau5 24 hours a day I'll never sleep again But that was a vacation for the ages I got on a plane, went to bed And never got up —we didn't get far from the ground There's no room for error. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* THE WORLDENDERZ are a secret band of superheroes—their secret identities include the various roles on the overnight shift at a popular chain of super-gyms, Las Vegas Athletic Club— “The Night Shift “ A miniseries The Night Shift is a mockumentary style miniseries which follows the secret identities of a band of superheroes in their day-to-day working the graveyard shift at LVAC; before forming The a world Enders, they comedicly attempt to mask using their multi dimensional and extraterrestrial superpowers, each unknowing that they are all respectively some of the most powerful beings in the universe, however, after SUPACREE is spotted by a mole from one of the various agencies tracking her, a plan is hatched to turn the unwittingly suspicious and mysterious strangers into an intergalactic multidimensional task force, forming the WORLDENDERS. It's WORLDENDERZ. Yeah, that's what I said. With a Z. No, that's stupid. YEAH IT IS. DO IT. Alright— WORLDENDERZ The World Enders are an elite task force of super-powered extraterrestrial hybrids developed to aid in post-apocalyptic recovery and planetary regeneration after imminent doom in other worlds as well as parallel realms and realities. They all share a multitude of each other's powers, some carrying variations of respective powers and abilities, which include telepathy, invisibility, teleportation, invisibility, and super speed/strength, but also each have a set of specific special abilities unique to their individual selves. All gifted shapeshifters, they use these skills to cloak their true hidden talents and ulterior motives—though no players intention ever goes against the grain of the greater good. MELLO Gift of gab. A demon slayer and chaos magician, who uses her bubbly personality and friendly demeanor to mask her dangerous and destructive rage—which actually summons previously-slayed demons, to use against the enemy in attack. Special Ability/Secret Power: The Power of Jesus Christ. THE ORANGE JULIUS Turns junk food into nuclear energy; sometimes glows (bright neon orange) in the dark—he also makes incredible smoothies, which, if consumed, transmits some of his nuclear power to its consumer. UNC A demon slayer, who uses his shape shifting ability to appear in his 20s, but is actually 75. QUASIMODO Brings inanimate objects made from planetary or organic materials into living form, usually used for repopulating planets where a mass extinction has occurred. DOCTOR OSBORNE Doctor Osborne is paying off his medical school debt by secretly working a night job across town at a nearby gymnasium—he spends his other 16 hours as a brain surgeon, using his superpowers to save lives by performing miracles during operations in which the survival rate are slim to none; this accounts for his beyond tired and lackluster behavior during his time at the gym—however his certain onset narcolepsy is often a conviniéndote key to success in many of the world Enders missions. ORION “A real nigga” A world builder and extremely gifted seer with immense telepathic and telekinetic capabilities. Copyright [The Festival Project] 2022 C.C.S. Monroe AKLA, Inc. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. So you swim into port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T”T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. Skrillex is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have Skrillex. Skrillex. How did you get a Skrillex? Just--Skrillex. “Just Skrillex”? The Original. Oh, shit. The Original Skrillex. Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my Skrillex? I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my Skrillex? Oh what--Skrillex? We have Skrillex! You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's Skrillex, isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eighth Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing Skrillex? He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Jack Black. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no Skrillex. PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that Skrillex? Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. Skrillex has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in Skrillex. YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhie. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited Skrillex. Limited Skrillex. Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? Skrillex! He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! Skrillex?! Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is _____________” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. Skrillex is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? Skrillex is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see Skrillex last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with Skrillex. ...Skrillex? What Skrillex? It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no Skrillex. He is introduced as a character in Act... No, Skrillex isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. Skrillex did A Skrillex. Three People Know About It. Skrillex is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't explain anything. Do you remember what happened? Uh...I...Hmm. It's alright, take your time. What is “Time”, really? Ah, he's waking up. ___ He's not waking up. He's been like this for awhile. What do we do? Call it in. Call It in and say what? Hey, we just Michael Jackson'd Skrillex? Technically, he Michael Jackson'd himself. Technically, Michael Jackson Micheal Jackson'd himself. Oh, shit, that's right. And 9/11 was an inside job. Well yeah. --so, we're white; it's not like we'll get jail time for it-- Jail time--woah woah woah-- We'll, we're also rich so-- oh , oh yeah. Well, I mean --technically he's not--I mean--he's still alive… He's been sleeping for 3 weeks, dude. Right--so he's gotta be waking up soon, right? yeah . If you still believe in santa clause (Later) By the way, dude; Santa Clause, dude; He's-- --What? He's real too? Really real. You really can hear everything when you're in a coma. I didn't send this! It was never supposed to-- --Well. The studio likes it, they gave us the go ahead for everything this morning-- Everything waht? Well the budget, expansions. Expansions? Yeah, for the dance scenes. Dance scenes? Yeah. And. Skrillex is on his way over to discuss the contracts. Contracts? Yeah. Skrillex? Yes. Skrillex seen this? Yes. Skrillex can't see this. He... already has. No. Yeah. (just shakes head, in harsh reflection) He likes it. He's doing it. He..likes..it? Yes. He's on the way. Now? Yes. Skrillex. ...Yes, Skrillex is on the-- --BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF SKRILLEX-- BYE. Where's SUPACREE? Nobody can find her. She just--vanished. --just vanished? Yeah. What happened? (Later) Well, I did mention Skrillex... --ohhhh, you told her Skrillex was coming? That explains it. It...doesn't explain anything. Actually, nah, that explains everything. What are you talking about? ...I'm not. Rezz knows. Rezz: Knows what. Exactly. Nigga you caught a Skrillex. YEAH BITCH. Throw it back! What? Throw it back! We don't eat that! What? Throw it back. Well, I went to Skrillex this morning. How was it? They destroyed it, it's gone now. Destroyed it? IT's gone? I mean--pretty much gone; it's still there--like you can go, but when you get there it's..there's nothing there. There's Nothing there. ...did you see that? What? [There's nothing there.] ...huh..did you hear that? What? [There's nothing there] Woah, who's his best friend? Looks like this girl is-- Damn. She's hot. Hot. Feeling Hot, Hot Hot! Welp, retreat. Retreat? Retreat. We're not doing this. They're...retreating. Wat? Why would they retreat? They're turning around… Oh… And....they're gone. They left. I wonder why. DUDE, DID YOU SEE-- I know. I was like-- Yesss honey, I know. So yeah. Yeahhhhh. Now what? [They don't know.] What happened? They don't know! [Nobody knows.] Nobody knows. Skrillex knows. Wait. WHAT. Yeah, Skrillex knows. ...what? wait --how do you know? ...sometimes, I find out things.) >..about Skrillex? yeah ,man. How? Does it MATTER? ...uh...it does matter. How did you GET this? Doesn't matter. Uh. It DOES matter. I know he did it. I was THERE. What dude, you weren't there. Deadmau5: I was there. Oh yeah, Joel? He was there. So you remember that? Well, yeah. Well, I was already hanging with Dillon Francis, which was weird. --it was weird-- So when Deadmau5 shows up in the middle of it, it doesn't really matter how fucked up I am, I'm gonna remember some shit like that. What? I don't remember that happening. Huh. So you must have blacked out first. Which means I WON. Actually, I feel like we all lost. --yeah, but it didn't get really weird, until-- I AM SKRILLEX. Deadmau5: Yeah, see. Yo dude, this nigga is Skrillex. This isn't Skrillex. It's Skrillex. It's not Skrillex. I'm looking straight at him. It is Skrillex, dude. I know what I'm talking about. But you don't remember anything else about it? No, I don't. Dude. She bedazzled my dick and then did photoshoots with it. More than one? Three. One was on location. To DOctor: What? It's permanent? I mean-- Well can I at least take out this barbell and change is for something less...blingy. It's got rhinestones. Uh actually, those are real diamonds--uh, you're welcome--and --AND--? It's not just blingy; It also has bluetooth. Bluetooth for WHAT. Dude. Oh watch this. I have the app installed on my phone, I just-- Dude. What did she do to your dick? What? My DICK? Nothing. What? [They all stare.] What? It was-- What do you know about Skrillex? ...Too much, actually. Why? Okay, then you make a Right on Time. Okay, now what? Make another right. Okay… Now, at the next light , take another right. ...On TIME? Why didn't we just take a LEFT on TIME? What? He should have made it; I know he left ofn time. Right road, wrong realm. Okay. NOw what. OKay, now hit warp speed; Because the Interdimensional Galactic Special Forces Patrol is going to start chasing you. WHAT? **ALIEN SIRENS** (AND LAZERS) THIS IS REALLY COOL!! Yeah, I know; but they have nukes, so-- OH. Yeah, Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNN! Did you run? I did not run; i RAN. I RAN for my life! What. She's in IRAN? ...I RA...VE. PARTY? PARTY-PARTY. What am I looking at right now? That? That's just a Doompy Poomp. Why? WHY? I don't know. They just have them here. For WHAT? WHY? They just happen. I told you she was gonna get stuck in it. (And She did) Spiders are actually highly intelligent--and--rather humane. You know what, actually? I kind of like this. You're trapped in it, and about to get eaten. Ah...ok. OK? YOu're okay with this? WOAH! You were trapped in a spider's web? What. Yeah, once. I wouldn't recommend it, but; I guess that's what I get for trying to be a fly on the wall. WHAT DID YOU DO? I don't know how he did it, okay? What? Of course you know; you have to know. I don't know. You have to know. I don't. I just First rule of time travel: DON'T. Oh, that is the first rule. Skrillex has broken the first rule of time travel. The FIRST rule? He's broken EVERY rule. Should we let him go? We're gonna have to let him go. Wow, you fired Skrillex? You Killed Skrillex. “What, is he sick?” “No, fool--we're gonna kill him.” MUFASA MOTHERFUCKER. THAT MOTHER-FATHER. MOTHERFUCKER! How did he even get in through the-- I don't know. Which exit did he leave through? He didn't! He just (whirring noise, spiral loop, POOF) What. Is his Power. I DON'T KNOW. OOh. SKRILLEX has POWERS? Of course he has powers. Of course he has powers. He's magic. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. I never thought about that. You Never thought about it? NO! Not even ONCE? NOOO! Not Even One Time? ...WELL, Now I've thought about it. HA! See. No! I don't “see!” I did NAZI that-- Yes you did. I know how to get her here. HOW? HOW. Just put Skrillex on the lineup. I can't afford to get Skrillex on the lineup. Dude. It's simple. There's literally not one simple thing about Skrillex. He's got a HUGE deck. It IS pretty massive. I had to power wash it. Twice. ___ Here. This shit is a girl blunt. I only smoke Gurl Bluntz. __ I thought you were gonna have that thing removed… Actually, I kinda like it; it's actually-- Oh. Yeah. Once you get used to it, it's kind of nice. When was the last time you went on Pornhub? I mean, I rarely-- [2 HOURS EARLIER.] Hysterical Laughter in at least 3 Dimensions. (Actually it was 6) Actually it's 9. Really it's Twelve, though. FUCK IT--ADMIT IT: WE ALL LAUGHED. Oh, dude--I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed. I Skrillex'ed, I'm Sorry! Alright--I admit it. I admit It. ADMIT IT! I Admit it! I Skrilex'ed Drop the e. DROP THE BASS. Oh, my God. Ohhh, my GoD. Oh, My Gaaaahhhhh Okay. Did you see it--were you there?? Yeah, I mean, I seen it-- You were there. I was therre, buttt I mean. I was there. You were not there. I was...there. Theree? I'm still there! This motherfucker right here. I guess. I mean, I guess he's a Motherfucker Doesn't look like much of a otherfucker to me. *Motherfucker. Look at this motherfucker. Mother-fucker! Mucutherfuckkin...Motherfuck. STOP SAYINTHAT! WHICH THING. ANYTHING. JUST SHUT UP. … Where are we going? I don't know we're just...going...to get there. Okay… __ DID YOU SEE WAAT THEY ADDED TO THE BASS PARADE? “Bass Parade?” Okay, that place is really cool. Okay. Now Once theHelicopter landson top of the Helipad… Okay. Okay so . Check this out. Okay. She actually pretended to hate you-- “pretended ?” And then gained a following from that-- I bet. --and then vanished all of these haters into an unknown void off the interdimensional reality grid HUh. (“Skrillex is doing a Suprise Set!) Man, Fuck Skrillex. [out of nowhere] Uh. Fuck you. Ummm. BEGONE. I don't know man People just keep--appearing in my Dungenon man, it's WEIRD --That is weird-- I mean--don't get me wrong; It's a strange blessing and everything, and believe me--my dragons are happy as fuck-- They're..wait, what of people are just appearing in your dungeon? Like-- I think they're mostly evil people. Like no-- No, like women or children, or anything. Oh, good. No, no, nothing like that. Wait. I thought a dragon was -- (Explains land of dragons) Oh That's . Wait, Did Justin Roiland ALSO go to the future? Or was it_-- wait, who was that? Whose socks are these? Socks? What socks. That never happened. What didn't. Exactly. See. He knows. Knows--what? See. Bruh. Huh. Loose Lips: Sink ships, baby--goon; Tell me. Tell Me. Deadass. Just saw Charlie Sheen in that corner over there. Word? What was he doing Nothing. He was just being Charlie Sheen in a corner (Actually, he was up to some super serious shit. ) Wait--like in a good way, or? Yeah, actually he's; He's there on PR, it's like a whole thing. Oh. So there's a DJ battle on the world of floor. Yeah. That happened. That did happen. I was there. You were. I were. oh , Believe me; I was semi-omnipotently present. Is that true? Are you at odds with Skrillex? No...I'd say we're pretty even. She photocopied it. “She photocopied it.” Oh God. Oh My God OH GOD. Should we...alert...Anybody, or just-- RUN. RUN NGGA, RUN. RUN, SONNY, RUN. Oh shit--Skrillex is in this. Fahck. FAQUE! WHAT. Huh. When did you write this? I...didn't write this. Oh--that's crazy; you mean, I've been pretty much doing whatever the whole time; but I'm like--i'm sleeping? Well, I mean, you're dead, so. So wait--that happened after I died? Okay? Okay. Okay-- so what happened to him? Unh. Yuh. That's deep. OKay look; I'm gonna be landing later. If you see something in the Sky; please do not shoot it down? Okay? I'm renting this shit. What are you doing? I Shooting down a UFO. A UFO? DUDE. I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. UFO= U FUCKIN OWE ME. Ohhh--goddamn-- okay. Dang dude, they really wanna see this fight. WHAT? What fight Okay, stay low to the ground Lower. {does} I mean like really low. Lower. [does] More. [they are crouching] Perfect, now --THE BASS DROPS--- … You wanted Skrillex, Right? ..Uh...yeah, but-- We brought Skrillex. OKay, look--how do I never, ever explain this? JUst DON'T. JUST. DON'T What the fuck dude. Well, now they're ALL on their way; Are you happy. ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY? ----------------------------------------------------------------- R U OK? ------------------------------------------------- Uh. Dude...how did you get in here…? She came in through the bathroom window... I don't know. More importantly; how do you get out? She's stuck She's Stuck. She's stuck in a Skrillex. Oh, she is stuck-stuck. I'll go get it. DUDE--We launched her into another dimension! (What is this?) *Jumping up and down furiously* Oh Good, her phone is dead. Heh heh heh She's completely isolated. She came alone? I mean--what else was I gonna do? So. Overall: Who Would you say fucked up the hardest? -Definitely Skrillex. -Definitely Dillon Francis. Mr. Mr Television Is a sinister Public servant and citizen Mr. Miserable listens to Millions of visions; Sends them into ascension With his exquisite musicianship. Aww--so then what--they live happily ever after? What The fuck. No. They fuckiing hate eachother. Well, that was...arguably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. You, sir, are very crunchy toast on a cold, dry morning. Um. OKay. Without butter. (Sad face.) What the fuck happened to you?! What the fuck happened to him? I heard. He got his ass whooped by Dillon Francis. What. The Fuck. YEAH. When was that? Apparently at The Event. I was at that! So was I; I was actually at that stage; I just didn't see it happen! I would pay to watch that. I paid to watch it. What. Yeah, actually; We had the watch party at my house it was.... It was random. Yeah. It was. Like, actually random. I've never seen anything like that in my life. HELLO? SKRILLEX DILLON FRANCIS! Oh shit dude, run. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © Oh, that's what I need. Phone, Wallet

The Vic Porcelli Show
H2-CBDC's Central Bank Digital Currency Is A Big Loser For America-01-08-24

The Vic Porcelli Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2024 48:07


10:05 – 10:15 (10 mins) Tony Columbo I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT DIGITAL CURRENCY LATELY.  MY WIFE AND DAUGHTERS AND I WENT TO SEE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS OVER THE HOLIDAYS.  WE WERE GETTING HOT CHOCOLATE AND MY DAUGHTER, SO EFFORTLESSLY SWIPED HER PHONE ACROSS A DEVICESO, I LOOKED UP THIS REPORT ABOUT WHAT DIGITAL CURRENCY IS AND THE IMPACT IT MIGHT HAVE ON US HERE IN AMERICA.FIRST OF ALL, Digital currency is a form of currency that is available only in digital or electronic form. It is also called digital money, electronic money, electronic currency, or cybercash.Transactions involving digital currencies are made using computers or electronic wallets connected to the internet or designated networks. They can be used to purchase goods and pay for services.Digital currencies also enable instant transactions that can be seamlessly executed across borders. For instance, it is possible for a person located in the United States to make payments in digital currency to a counterparty residing inCentral Bank Digital CurrenciesCentral bank digital currencies (CBDCs) are regulated digital currencies issued by the central bank of a country. A CBDC can be a supplement or a replacement to traditional physical currency. a CBDC exists purely in digital form The advantages of digital currenciesFast Transfer and Transaction TimesNo Physical Manufacturing RequiredUnder OUR current currency regime, the Fed works through a series of intermediaries—banks and financial institutions—to circulate money into an economy. CBDCs can help ELIMINATE THIS PROCESS and enable a government agency to disburse payments directly to citizens. DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED UP IN CANADA TO THE TRUCKERS?Cheaper Transaction CostsAND, ACCORDING TO THIS REPORT, Digital currencies may be decentralized. This means they are not controlled by any government or financial institution. Digital currencies that are decentralized make them more resistant to government interference, censorship, and manipulation. Decentralization means true control over the digital currency is spread over a broader range of owners or users. PrivacyDue to the fact that transactions with digital currencies are not linked to personal data, users are given a high level of privacy and anonymity. They are therefore very helpful for those who want to protect the confidentiality of their financial dealings.I THINK THIS THEORY IS ALREADY BEING CHALLENGED.  FORGET CHIPS IN YOUR ARM, THERE ARE THESE READERS THEY ARE TESTING THAT CAN ACTUALLY READ YOUR UNIQUE HAND PRINT AS YOU WAVE IT OVER THE DEVICE AND THEN HAVE YOUR HANDPRINT ASSIGNED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.  IN OTHER WORDS, THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE, LIKES DIS-LIKES, AND, POLITICAL PREFERENCES. Some major central banks around the world have begun issuing their own digital currencies. Some of the larger, more notable examples include countries LIKE China: Since 2020, the People's Bank of China (PBOC) has been testing the digital yuan, also known as e-CNY, in a number of Chinese localities. Millions of Chinese citizens currently utilize the digital yuan, which is intended to be used for retail transactions. Sweden: Also since 2020, Sweden's Riksbank has been testing the e-krona digital currency. The e-krona is being created to complement Sweden's diminishing use of currency and to give the general public access to a safe and effective payment system.5 EU: A digital euro that may be issued by the European Central Bank (ECB) and used for retail transactions within the Eurozone is being investigated.6 England: The Bank of England is looking into the prospect of launching the "Britcoin" cryptocurrency. The UK's payment system would be backed by a digital currency, which could also reduce the nation's dependence on cash. Canada: The Bank of Canada has been conducting research and consultations on the idea of creating a CBDC. Future of Digital CurrenciesAND THAT BRINGS US TO THE FINAL PART OF THIS REPORT-Another possible application FOR CBDC'S, could be issued by a country's bank or monetary authority. These would be used and stored in online wallets, but allowing the central bank to issue and freeze tokens at will. 10:25 – 10:37 (17mins) Katie Fitzpatrick -APD AND THE CO-HOST OF COLUMBO AND KATIE HEARD FROM 2-4 WEEKDAYS ON NEWSTALKSTL WELCOME KATIE!AUDIO: Sen Fetterman-admits there's a crisis at the US southern border-I don't know how anyone could pretend that there isn'tFIRST OF ALL, THAT'S JOHN FETTERMAN!THIS IS HUGE BECAUSE BIDEN, JEAN-PIERRE, MAYORKAS, AND THE REST OF THE OBAMA/BIDEN ADMINISTRATION KEEPS SAYING THAT THE BORDER IS SECURE.  WELL, NOW THEY SAY THE BORDER IS KINDA JACKED UP AND IT'S THE REPUBLICAN'S FAULT.AUDIO: Ben Bergquam-Real Americas Voice-spotting carloads of Illegal Aliens-crossing the border-Primarily from ChinaSINCE BIDEN HAS BECOME PRESIDENT, MORE THAN 110,000 ILLEGAL CHINESE NATIONALS HAVE CROSSED THE BORDER.DECEMBER, 2023 SAW THE MOST ILLEGAL ALIEN CROSSINGS IN AMERICAN HISTORY, FROM OVER 150 COUNTRIES.*NOW, BECAUSE OF BIDEN'S POLICIES, WE SEE MAYORS OF SANCTUARY CITIES SAYING THEY CAN'T SUSTAIN THE CURRENT INFLUX OF ILLEGAL ALIENS, AND THEY ARE BLAMING TEXAS GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT INSTEAD OF CALLING OUT BIDEN. IS THIS THE PLAN OF ATTACK OR, ARE THEY JUST THAT STUPID?  10:41 – 10:56 (15mins) Weekly: "Vic Porcelli's East Coast Report with Douglas Blair" @RisingTheHill@DouglasKBlair Formerly @DailySignal and @Heritage @FDRLST Proud Oregonian!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brown Ambition
A Series Of Unfortunate Events

Brown Ambition

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2023 41:20


Tiffany is recovering from bronchitis and Mandi fills us in on her crazy weekend. The ladies were suppose to go on a date to the Brooklyn Museum but God had other plans. Mandi is also planning a birthday party for her son and is tired of all of the toys. For this week's Brown Boost Brown Break, Mandi boosts for the brand new show called "First Of All" hosted by Victor Blackwell and Tiffany boosts for optimizing health and getting in shape. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brown Ambition
A Series Of Unfortunate Events

Brown Ambition

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2023 43:05


Tiffany is recovering from bronchitis and Mandi fills us in on her crazy weekend. The ladies were suppose to go on a date to the Brooklyn Museum but God had other plans. Mandi is also planning a birthday party for her son and is tired of all of the toys. For this week's Brown Boost Brown Break, Mandi boosts for the brand new show called "First Of All" hosted by Victor Blackwell and Tiffany boosts for optimizing health and getting in shape. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

First of All
#191 - Trusting the Process with Ben Chung (Kinjaz, Jabbwockeez)

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2023 104:55


Asking for a friend - does anyone else feeling like just giving up and becoming a potato lately? Because same. In this episode, Minji closes out SEASON 4 and celebrates a beautiful milestone for 6 YEARS OF First Of All Podcast by processing her most recent super fun existential crisis with her dear friend am, the amazing dancer, entrepreneur, and soulful spirit Ben Chung. With the Hollywood strikes, rapid AI development, climate change doom, plus oodles of personal ups & downs, Minji finds herself a bit worn out (again). Ben shares his signature good vibes and deep philosophies that he's cultivated through his prolific creative work and faith. We're blessed with some crazy inspiring stories from Ben's journey of America's Dance Crew and thoughts on how to navigate a rapidly changing world. They chop it up about change, rejection, and practicing how to be present with profound gratitude in the most uncertain of times. Yes, even in this economy. Follow Our Guest Ben Chung:Instagram (@btek_benchung)Twitter (@btek_benchung)kinjaz.comFollow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan and "Close to the Edge" by Fulton Lee▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

First of All
#190 - From Overthinking to DOING - We FINALLY made a short film! - with Scott Sayasithsena

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2023 102:47


There are few things more satisfying than taking an idea and turning it into a reality. Some call that manifesting (ahem, like Minji) and some call it just taking simple actions to achieve a goal. Potato, po-tah-to. Whatever you call it, there's SO much that gets in the way, all the imposter syndrome (bleh), the self-sabotage (ugh), the literal years of procrastinating (yeesh), legit life/time/money challenges, and so on and so forth. In this episode, Minji celebrates the creation of her first COMPLETED short film "HONESTLY" that she wrote and starred in with the film's director and her beloved homie Scott Sayasithsena. Together they share what they can about their tiny film project sans spoilers - the idea, the genesis of the collab, the internal hurdles, the logistical nightmares, and the incredible reception they received premiering the short at the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival in May 2023 alongside some stellar filmmakers. It's one tiny gigantic step that might've taken a long *** time to take, but it's 100% worth commemorating to remind us every path is unique, be kind to yourself, and to keep on keeping on. Follow Our Guest Scott Sayasithsena:Instagram (@scottsayasithsena)Follow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap"▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

First of All
#189 - Making Sacrifices, Pivoting, & Persisting w/ Trus Real

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2023 113:46


In the very wise words of our goddess Aaliyah (RIP) - If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again. In theory (and in lyrics/beats that slap thanks to the GOAT Timbaland), it's amazing. In practice, it's pretty freakin' hard. To chase dreams, to pursue life goals, to endeavor the seemingly impossible...in this day and age...in this economy...let's be real, it's easier to just stay in bed and not even try at all. But for better or worse, we push on. In this episode, Minji sits down with her friend and talented rapper Trus Real to talk about his eye-opening journey pursuing, and giving up, a career in music. From playing a little too much to then hustling hard and giving rapping his all to basically giving up everything only to be brought back to it in the most unexpected of ways...as a TikTok creator making "news that rhyme", the path has been tough. Trus and Minji explore the many convoluted ways they've actualized a life that's fulfilling and (hopefully) pays all the bills. They talk about making hard choices, giving up control, taking radical responsibility, and getting scrappy with their creativity to live more authentically and wisely. Follow Our Guest Trus Real:Instagram (@trus_real)patreon.com/trusrealFollow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “Slow Down” by Trus Real▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

First of All
#188: Solo Episode: Messing Up, Apologizing, Forgiving...& Thriving

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2023 79:13


In this solo episode, Minji shares a personal story about unintentionally being a total a-hole, letting down one of her best friends, spiraling, prolonging the awkwardness (as one does), making it worse, freaking out a bit more, and then finally taking steps to make it right again. As universal and commonplace as these mistakes and rifts can be, there's a lot going on underneath it all - self-sabotaging, people-pleasing, being a teeny bit narcissistic/lazy/careless, and/or going into overwhelm trying to keep all our plates spinning at once and just sucking at it. These pain points and blips can lead to larger, more lasting patterns in lives as they pile up unaddressed. Maybe it's time we forget "time heals all wounds", and realize healing heals all wounds. So how can we start addressing that big nasty pile, one thing at a time, to clean house and get right within ourselves? Minji shares her thoughts (and strategies!) after releasing a TON of emotional baggage that has led to some pretty amazing changes in her life. Follow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" ▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

LoveIsrael.org (audio)
Psalm Chapter 107 Part 2

LoveIsrael.org (audio)

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2023 37:56


God, word, verse, meaning, life, people, speaks, sea, simply, psalm, place, Lord, Israel, evil, literally, traveling, fruitful, implication, worn, talking

LoveIsrael.org
Psalm Chapter 107 Part 2

LoveIsrael.org

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2023 37:56


God, word, verse, meaning, life, people, speaks, sea, simply, psalm, place, Lord, Israel, evil, literally, traveling, fruitful, implication, worn, talking

First of All
#187 - Demanding & Exploring Better Sex Education with Anne Hodder-Shipp

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2023 94:55


Let's talk about sex! Because despite our global society's obsession with it, we're still frighteningly undereducated about it. While more conversations and information on sexuality are shared much more openly due to social media content and online resources, longstanding attitudes and deeply rooted cultural beliefs can take a lot longer for a person to become open to learn. Some of us have been trained to fear sex, some have been shamed to explore their curiosity, some have been traumatized, and some have been convinced there's nothing important for them to know about themselves or anyone else, and some have just had no access to learning, period. So yeah.. we're still unpacking A LOT. In this episode, Minji sits down with Anne Hodder-Shipp, an award-winning certified sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, expansive, and compassionate care. Together they talk about their very different upbringings and how everything from school, religion, parents, and communities influenced their understanding of sex from the biological to moral and intimacy facets. Anne shares some of the common misinformation that's creating barriers to having a healthy relationship within ourselves, and of course with others. Pleasure, boundaries, consent, mechanics - we are still just getting started in normalizing these conversations. Hopefully this one will be another to encourage more compassion, respect, curiosity and openness to get smart about what's going on inside our minds and others.Follow Our Guest Anne Hodder-Shipp:Instagram (@theannehodder)https://annehoddershipp.com/https://everyonedeservessexed.com/Follow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “Red Ferrari” by Samica▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

First of All
#186 - Stepping into Main Character Energy w/Priska

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2023 84:29


As Minji has created this space and inadvertently shared a lot about herself over the course of First Of All's 180+ episodes, she's changed quite a bit. Grown on a good day, unraveled on a bad one. And one thing that she has intentionally confronted in 2023 is to not only make space for others but how take it up herself. In this episode we get a little one-on-one friendship time with Two Horny Goats co-host and beloved soul sister Priska Liang-Kim to find out more about our FOA host as she's in the "guest" hot seat on her own show for the very first time. Follow Our Guest Priska:Instagram (@priskamusik)twohornygoats.comFollow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “High Risk Travel (Priska & Aberbeats cover)” by Priska▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

Good Pop | Culture Club
From #PotluckPod First of All - #185 - F*ck Up, Make Mistakes & Be Messy with Adele Lim (Director of Joy Ride)

Good Pop | Culture Club

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2023 82:09


For APAHM, we're highlighting some of our fellow Asian American podcasts from the Potluck Podcast Collective. On this last day of APAHM, we're sharing an episode from our sister show, First of All, a podcast where host Minji Chang takes a real, unfiltered conversation on career, family, love, & modern culture. On her latest episode, Minji chats with writer and director Adele Lim. You can check out First of All and our other fellow #PotluckPods at podcastpotluck.com---A lot of good can come out of striving for excellence - a high standard of quality, valuable skillsets and smarts, plus amazingly positive contributions to self and society. It can also have a dark side in the form of all-consuming and suffocating perfectionism - an existence where there's no room for error or subpar...well, anything. Every flaw, every "mistake" is irreparable or at the very least, a lasting source of guilt and shame. So many people are familiar with this kind of pressure, and some of the MOST familiar with this insane demand are Asian/Asian American women. In this episode, Minji sits down with Adele Lim, Malaysian American film and tv producer and writer, who is now the new director of the upcoming (and very raunchy) Asian American female-led comedy Joy Ride. Together they dive into Adele's upbringing in Malaysia through her journey in Tinseltown, struggling to defend facets of herself, and other women like her, that weren't always welcomed or valued in her home, community, or industry. They blow off steam on how oppressive and straight up boring it is to be perfect all day everyday. They also reinforce how giving ourselves permission to be human beings who do occasionally make mistakes and imperfect, loud, opinionated, sloppy, unruly, questionable choices is liberating AF, mentally healthy, and...OK. We can love ourselves at our best and our worst!Follow Our Guest Adele Lim:Instagram (@adeleblim)Twitter (@adeleblim)Follow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “omg” by Gloria Kim▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media...

First of All
#185 - F*ck Up, Make Mistakes & Be Messy with Adele Lim (Director of Joy Ride)

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2023 80:38


A lot of good can come out of striving for excellence - a high standard of quality, valuable skillsets and smarts, plus amazingly positive contributions to self and society. It can also have a dark side in the form of all-consuming and suffocating perfectionism - an existence where there's no room for error or subpar...well, anything. Every flaw, every "mistake" is irreparable or at the very least, a lasting source of guilt and shame. So many people are familiar with this kind of pressure, and some of the MOST familiar with this insane demand are Asian/Asian American women. In this episode, Minji sits down with Adele Lim, Malaysian American film and tv producer and writer, who is now the new director of the upcoming (and very raunchy) Asian American female-led comedy Joy Ride. Together they dive into Adele's upbringing in Malaysia through her journey in Tinseltown, struggling to defend facets of herself, and other women like her, that weren't always welcomed or valued in her home, community, or industry. They blow off steam on how oppressive and straight up boring it is to be perfect all day everyday. They also reinforce how giving ourselves permission to be human beings who do occasionally make mistakes and imperfect, loud, opinionated, sloppy, unruly, questionable choices is liberating AF, mentally healthy, and...OK. We can love ourselves at our best and our worst! Follow Our Guest Adele Lim:Instagram (@adeleblim)Twitter (@adeleblim)Follow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “omg” by Gloria Kim▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim @daeunkmSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

First of All
#184- Seize the Day with Chef Viet Pham (Iron Chef)

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2023 113:16


You know how they say live your life to the fullest and every day as if it's your last? And you know how most of us think "Oh that's nice, I should do that. I will do that."...and then, even with the BEST of intentions, we just don't? (No judgment here, it's a super normal part of life.) Let's face it, it's so easy to stay in autopilot - chasing goals, maybe taking some important relationships for granted, & doing the most even if it's not particularly (or at all) fulfilling. In this episode, Minji sits down with highly decorated chef Viet Pham, whose resume as a chef is one that blows your mind - high end restauranteur, Iron Chef winner, defeating Bobby Flay (twice, mmkay), competing on tv shows, creating an incredible chicken sandwich that's quickly taking over Utah. And of course not to mention an amazingly beautiful and loving wife. But like all those with pretty highlight reels, Viet has gone through a LOT personally to experience this fulfilling life, and has overcome a LOT even in the midst of it. In this very personal conversation, Viet opens about facing health scares including a rare cancer that has further expanded his daily approach to life, love, and work. He shares the fears and attitude shifts he's faced as he is afforded new perspectives and a commitment to health and well-being. Follow Our Guest Viet Pham:Instagram (@chefvietpham)prettybirdchicken.comFollow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “I'll Be There” by Nina Sung▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer Da Eun Kim (@daeunkm)Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer

BLACK MENTAL HEALTH AND RACE
BMHR 63 1 (46) EXPREZ RUMP GOES TO JAIL LIKE A ROYALE MCCHEESE

BLACK MENTAL HEALTH AND RACE

Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2023 24:14


BMHR 63 1 (46) EXPREZ RUMP GOES TO JAIL LIKE A ROYALE MCCHEESE *THE LIKELIHOOD OF RUMP GOING TO JAIL (INCARCERATION) FOR LYING ABOUT HIS STORMY ENTANGLEMENT WITH DANIELS IS VERY LOW. YOU'D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF WINNING THE $385 MILLION MEGAMILLIONS JACKPOT. FIRST OF ALL, THE STORMY STORY IS MERELY A MISDEMEANOR CHARGE. *BMHR 63 RESPECT ON THE NAMES OF THE VICTIMS OF THE NASHVILLE SCHOOL (COVENANT SCHOOL) SHOOTING RIP __________ *SEEKING A PUBLIC OUTCRY FOR YOUR PAIN *RADICALIZATION PROGRAMMING PROTOCOLS: SUSCEPTIBILITY TO SUCH DEVELOPMENT *NEGATIVE THINKING CAUSING INTENTIONAL HARM *WHITE PRIVILEGE AND MASS SCHOOL SHOOTINGS OF CHILDREN; GUNS, RIGHTS AND GENDER POLITICS RATHER THAN EXAMINATION OF INTERNAL CONFLICTS *MASS TRAUMA AND TRAGEDY PREVALENT IN THE GREAT AMERICAN RHETORIC PROGRAMMING

First of All
183 - Owning The Narrative & Telling Your Story with Author Emily Inouye Huey

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2023 82:57


Far too many times in life, our narratives get told by others. Sometimes, being a passive passenger in the journey can feel the safest and most comfortable...until you realize the consequences of not speaking up on your or your community's behalf. Like misinformation, isolation, erasure, and even the exploitation of narratives to serve another's agenda. We're all becoming much more keenly aware of how this has been playing out for real all around us, and many of us are wondering how to approach it. In this episode, Minji sits down with Emily Inouye Huey, author of the moving YA novel "Beneath the Wide Silk Sky" - story about a Japanese American teenager named Sam who is navigating her young life in the wake of Pearl Harbor during WWII. Together they talk about Emily's personal process as a writer and as a Japanese American person unpacking very real family history that she's digesting. They go into the ups and downs of learning, embracing, and finding courage to share stories that mean so much, and how these stories can be vital contributions to culture, politics, and our own personal growth. Emily shares her thoughts on the recent book bans spreading across America, and what's at stake if we don't stand up for truth, accessibility and education. Timestamps: 00:00-10:15 - Introduction to episode & Emily featuring Uzuhan's "Uzutrap"10:15-52:42 - Part 1 of conversation with Emily52:42-54:42 - Break54:42-1:17:00 - Part 2 of conversation with Emily1:17:00-1:22:57 - Outro featuring Melissa Polinar's "Another Universe"Follow Our Guest Emily Inouye Huey:https://www.instagram.com/emily_inouye_huey/https://emilyhuey.com/Follow Minji On:Instagram (@minjeezy)Instagram (@firstofallpod)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & "Another Universe" by Melissa Polinar▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video!▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveAudio Engineer @marvinyuehProducer @DaEunKimSocial Media Manager @JulianaDeer

That's A Gay Ass Podcast
"Fishbowl Steam Room" w/ Irene Tu

That's A Gay Ass Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2023 45:44


FIRST OF ALL, tickets are on sale for That's A Gay Ass Live Show! Click here to buy or head to Eric's Instagram for the link! If only to see the incredible lineup. As for this ep, we welcome stand-up phenom Irene Tu, who takes a break from her "Big They Energy" tour and takes the brave stance of "anti-risotto". We also discuss:-the rumor that every school had some girl who threw up on a dick-Irene's pronoun controversy-Hey Arnoldplus we ask, "is sense of direction genetic?"*******************************************************Grab your THAT'S A GAY ASS LIVE SHOW tickets here!Follow Irene on Instagram (@irene_tu), Twitter (@irene_tu), and see her on tour!Follow Eric on IG (@ericwillz), Tiktok (@ericwillzTT) and Gay Ass Podcast on Instagram (@gayasspodcast)!Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/thats-a-gay-ass-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Art of Consulting Podcast
198 | Dealing with Vices

Art of Consulting Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2023 15:35


In this episode, we have Andy share about what having vices can lead us into and how to deal with them. He explained some reasons why people fall into bad habits and gave practical tips on how we can deal with it and eventually eliminate the habit.   Listen in now and enjoy keeping your life productive and reaching the levels of success that you are aiming for. Quotes: “Being Successful Is Being, First Of All, Aware Of It [Vices], But Also Being Able To Put Things In Place To Control It.” “Boredom Is A Great Driver Towards Executing Our Vices.” “We Have To Find Different Things To Replace That Vice With.” “Vices, Even If It's Just Diving Into The Vices Even From A Perspective Of Entertainment, Or Spending Time Or ‘I'm Bored', It Can Lead Into A Very Counterproductive Life.”   Show Notes: (00:00) Podcast Intro  (00:27) If You Need Help Creating A Set Of Values, You're Welcome To Sign Up For A Complimentary Course At https://theconsultingplaybook.com/values  (01:19) The Four Traditional Vices (02:09) Most People Who Were Really Successful Don't Have Vices (05:10) Being Aware And Being Able To Deal With Vices (06:49) Boredom Is A Driver Toward Vices (08:12) Finding Good Habits To Replace The Vice With And Identifying The Triggers (10:23) Surrounding Yourself With People Who Are Living A Life That You Want To Emulate  (11:19) Visualizing Ourselves Being Successful (12:21) Vices Can Lead To A Counterproductive Life (14:27) Andy's New Book The Trust Paradigm Is Available On Amazon And Other Book Retailers  

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential
[The Lover's Episode.] (SEASON 6- ACT III, PART VIII)

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2023 28:01


{Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] Ugh, Die! Die! Die! - my mom (My mom actually said that.) SEASON 6 ACT III, PART VIII “The Lovers' Quarrel” The Lovers must practice an a traditional one-handed duel; They must fence whilst one arm is tied behind the back, a rope tightly held by each's own ascended master as they maneuver in the round. It is a practice of stealth, dynamic movement, and self control. Petruchio and C'esmet passionately dance in the round--the training period stands as a trial-and-error, The Ascended masters tugging at the ropes to correct their mistakes. C'esme't travels to a descended dimension to materialize her Ascended Mastery; Supacree Gains her powers not slowly, but all at once. Avicii explains how long one walks the astral void before returning home into the Kingdom of Heaven after departing. DILLON FRANCIS YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME KILLED. CHAK CHEL I wasn't trying to get you killed! I was trying to get you laid! || D.J. YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME KILLED. C.C. I WASNT TRYING TO GET YOU KILLED! I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU LAID. D.J. I can get laid by myself! C.C. D.J. Shut UP. The famed lovers take their place in the center of the arena; they humbly and gracefully take their battle stance, looking each other in the eye, one arm extended behind the back to face the sky, the other planted firmly, grounding them to earth. In quiet desperation, a silence falls over the entirety of the space—until, a glowing light distracts all but the two of the lovers, focused in oneness, acknowledging two qual parts of one whole. The crowd gasps and coos, as the glowing figure, masqueraded by shadows in a beam of light and colorful auras A tall figure stands equidistant to the two lovers; the triad is formed, and as he begins the yet Ū fort old ancient ritual, the lovers are overwhelmed with shock and confusion. blackout — END EPISODE Lost your shine? Lost my Skrillex! You miss it? Do I Miss—? … You know what? What. Fuck you, dude. ...no can do. [later] Are we relaxed? What is this? I need it. You fucked up. This isn't right. No, it isn't. — BLACKOUT, What happened here? Are we rolling? Cut to commercial. — Are you serious? I'm so serious!!! She's so serious. Cut to: Grocery Store, Day [over the store radio] She's a maniac, maniac on the floor!! What is she DOING? What are you doing? I'm doing me, bitch. And she's dancing like she never has before. —cut to rave— ***WUBZ*** Who is this? I'm on my own tonight. Is she drinking?!? THATS NOT FAIR! Oh, Sweet Jesus! —regular Jesus: [to sweet Jesus] aha! It's you this time. Sweet Jesus: fuck, no fair. THIS ISN'T SKRILLEX. Sweet Baby Jesus. Sweet Jesus: (relieved) YES. Regular Jesus: oh, you're saved. Nice. [ JESUS passes BABY JESUS to SWEET JESUS, then footballing the infant into the outer realms, dusting his hands off and flexing.] Send the Messiah. Wait, which one? Yeah, whose Messiah? Cut back to: the rave ...Who's baby is this? Woah, cool baby. I respect that. [the third raver simply lifts his diffraction glasses, astonished by the bedazzling baby Jesus's vibe.] Wait, Baby Jesus is bedazzled? MAYBE: Cut to: A flash of the alternate dimension, where indeed baby Jesus is Bedazzled.] Cut back to: No, his vibe. Is he sparkling? It's his aura. Oh. Pfft. Lol. Okay. —- First of all, I've never had this many black friends before. .. Oh, my God… I am alarmed. She's so stupid… Actually, just ugly—! Eyyy. Woahhh! But now I'm— You're a fan. Hey—I ate a fan for breakfast—okay?! Literally. OKAY. Ew, gross. Just kill me. [without hesitation] No—Ze Rulez. [Lowers Rave Weapon] __ I'm highly allergic— —Don't need Skrillex. Brought my own! — [stabs self] What is that? Oh shit, it's the EPI(c)PEN OH SHIT. Nice. It also writes. After the stab? Usually after, yes. You, have to. Oh, yeah, huh? No, you actually have to stab yourself first with it—or else it won't write. — Anyway—what were you trying to write? ...fuck, I forgot. Good job, Sonny. ___ Take me back! You wanted this. I wanted NOTHING. You got there! Agh!! Then when you did, you wanted to leave. There's no music. It's literally NOTHING. Except Jimmy Fallon. WHAT?! Since when?! What? Since literally ever. What?! No way. Let me see. Let me see. Oh my—WOAH. Let me see. Nothing is something! Unh-uh bro! What the— IT IS JIMMY FALLON. There's this cricket that lives Somewhere near here, When I hear him I think of the song He sings and all I think is “I wish someone would sing for me, I wish someone would sing for me” If he makes me cry one more time... “One last time, We gonna celebrate” If there's an album, there's going to be a tour; If there's a tour, I'm gonna wanna see him And it's just infinite, isn't it-- Infinite, isn't it? There's no point to it; There's really nowhere safe, that I could run from him A class act An a plus A sad actor with black magic A bad pastor with bad habits A black cat, and a hat and in it Is everything I ever imagined If there's an album, There's going to be a crowd I'm gonna want to be in it And it's just infinite isn't it Can't live with Skrillex Can't go on tour with him Maybe I just, Settle down in this awful town While I try to figure out, What this is about And if this is about Skrillex How did I get into it? If this is Skrillex How do ___ AHHHH DUDE. AHHH THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. Ahhhh man. What the fuck. This is--did you Put The Skrillex in The Skrillex, like I said? ...I… ...did you put the Skrillex in The Skrillex? Skrillex-Skrillex Put the-the Skrillex in the Skrillex Skrillex-t-Skrillex-Skrillex Skrillex is Skrillex-Skrillex OH SHIT. YOU DON'T REMEMBER WRITING ‘THE SKRILLEX SONG'? I DIDN'T WRITE IT! YOU WROTE IT. She's denying it. Oh, She stole all ya'll music. She took all of my songs. All of them? I mean, not all of them--just the bangers. I'm not going to Mexico for Dillon Francis. “The Interrogation” SUPACREE pays the incarcerated SKRILLEX under observation a series of visits, using her invisibility cloak. [[*This would be along the same storyline (using a linear “time”) where SUPACREE has gained most of her abilities, and is also terrorizing Dillon Francis (*interns scene). So. What? Just to get this straight; Nobody can see SUPACREE? Right. But she's--basically--beating the shit out of people. Yeah, she's just... fucking shit up. But nobody can see her. No. At all. No. Nobody at all, just the DJ's. Starting with-- D1-Skrillex D2-DIllon Francis D3-SUPACREE (Wait, how the fuck?) Scary Monsters and SUPACREE. Well, which comes first? What? Which movie? I--What? In order. Order? Like...wait, what are you saying? When you put them in order-- Order?? ORDER!!! Bruh. I just got a dick pic from Dillon Francis. What? By like, accident? I don't think it was an accident… It had to be... It has a personalized greeting, with my name in it. What? Let me see--! (Look) I mean--not “let me see”, I just meant--the greeting. Like, what did it say? Dude-- Damn, that's… Yeahhhh man! Was there a show tonight? Maaaayyybe, I don't know where it would be... Yo dude, I'm calling--WOAH. What dude? I got a message from him too! Oh shiiiit, what's it say? Should I even open it? Open it! What if it's his dick, bro? Open it! [Opens it.] OHHH. It's his dick, bro. Oh SHIT, what the fuck HAPPENED? What did happen? Does yours have a message? What did happen…? I feel like--wait, is that--huh. What does the message say? It does have a message...wait--let me see yours again. What the fuck for? [staring at phone, cocking head slowly to one side] ((Ohh, I like this, the audio pans like--)) I feel like mine's at a different angle. A different angle--wh--let me see. [shows phone] [cocks head to the side slowly, returning to his phone to compare the photos] Oh shit, that is at a different angle. With different lighting! Whatthefuuuck. Dude. _ Well, what did you do when you were Skrillex? A lot. _ Yo. That dude has like 16 passports. I had a lot of fun as Qua Long. _ Shenanigans As Dillon Francis-- Oh shit, this is gonna be a long list. It's actually not that much. (It's a lot) Dillon Francis sits at his desk in his Lair/Office. A pile of legal paperwork is stacked in front of him. ((Oh shit, where's the scene where he's got the glasses?)) Which...glasses… Aw fuck. Oh, right--cause he has a-- He has an entire series. How the fuck did Dillon Francis get to be Captain of the Motherfucking Bampheramphs?! FUCK that, he's not my captain. He's your captain. He is not my Captain. That is not my President. I'M THE CAPTAIN NOW! **Insert: This Is: Dillon Francis Here Damn dude. Dillon Francis needs an entire character analisis (Okay, keep that misspelling, that's hilarious. Anyway) *Analysis I think I might have to write one. Can we not? I mean. Yo dude, i”m like half capacity for Dillon Francis Half, is….half. Well, I mean it's corona virus so-- Fragments of Mr. Francis Blasted analysis Need a dialysis just to get this Sk- Shit out my system. Now I speak Sk-Sk-Sk I shout out curses. Now I speak clown I'm an Owl out of water. Now I speak Sk-Sk-Sk I create languages I see the stares On blank faces I paint the canvas With blood and with ashes I leave on the pavement First of all, These park and raves are crazy Electric Daisy is inside me Everybody's at the party All the stars aligning And all the patrons waiting, waving ___ I call him “The Ghost” You never know where he goes, And the music follows No forward But I know, I know He's The Ghost Producer And I'm just a Loser _ Ive never seen this one before! Me neither. That's great. Something new. Well-something old, something new--it's Skrillex. Yeah, but I like Skrillex. We all like Skrillex Wow. Oh, the fan..family. Family? Family, wait-- AGH, THIS MUSIC IS DISTRACTING ME. It was so clear, and then it just-- Yeah, Vanished? Yeah. Yeah. [A Silence.] A circle of dancing people summon wishes out of the center of their Concentrical Circle. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. What. I'm pretty sure this already happened. I remember that. What? That never happened Uh. It did. It happened like, last season-- --LAST SEASON? --maybe even the season before that. What! I thought we were watching the Pilot! I THOUGHT THIS WAS A MOVIE. This is the third movie. THE THIRD MOVIE? Wait--when did you get here? I...have always been here. [beat.] She's been going on like this for two days. Oh My God. Yes. Have you tried to stop her? No, it's too good; Plus, she can sense us coming it's--watch this. Queue the passerby. A passerby moves towards the garden in the far east corner of the observatory; Are you recording all of this? Even better; We're broadcasting it. To WHO? (in space, in what (was thought to be, anyway) a Void in the unknown. Uh, it WAS a void in the unknown, until a satellite crossed into it) What the fuck, is that a Satelite? A satellite! A satellite? Which satellite? I've got dozens of satellites. Dozens? *Thousands Elon Musk: ...Was it one of mine? (It was) ((To literally nobody's surprise)) (((Literally))) Literally, nobody--because literally nobody ever existed, ever. Until this happened. WHAT IS THIS? Have you seen this? No. Well, you're in it. Okay? I'm in a lot of shit. We all are. But not this. (yes you are) What was that? What was what? You need to burn this. Burn it… Nobody can ever see it. Okay. I just took 6 Xanex. 6! YES. And ⅓. And a third. Okay. Yes. 6 and ⅓. This, This. This is why. Why what? Why he looked at me like that. Like what? [A look.] But how could he have even known; Where could he have ever been, that I was that would make it make sense. Well, we know the Why. This is why. So now--How. How, now Brown Cow? Okay, honestly--it's almost funny now, because yeah--I'd probably also react that same way if I knew someone was going to write that about me. Yeah, I panicked. Panicked; I had a heart attack. Have you seen that thing? Yeah, it's massive. It is massive it's-- --God, it's ridiculous. --It's almost atrocious. Yikes. Yeah. I've been inside of this story before. Oh? I've been inside all of them. I see. Most of them, I just choose to forget. What makes it so that you choose? _ I actually stopped breathing. For how long? Forever. It was nice. _ You...made this…? I...yeah. You cooked me breakfast. I enjoy cooking. Well, thank you. Welcome. DEAD. How did-- Alright. So these two planets. Yeah. Two different galaxies? I guess. Okay. _ First of all that party was lit as fuck and you missed it. I didn't miss it, I just... attended at a limited distance. Chak Chel's set. Doooog. It was. (MM.) Bruh, I just miss when SNAILS was Captain. That was fun times. Too bad we can't go back. ...we can go back... No, dude don't-- Ted, Ted, and Ted meet Todd, Todd, and Todd at Lost In The Sauce Lands. So basically--all 6 of them fuck up at the same time and end up In this-- It's basically a void that lasts infinitely at Lost Lands. Oh shit. _ You better quit it, before you get Stuck in The Skrillex. [The Skrillex Tar Pits] _ Have you ever seen a mosh pit at-- -- Skril-- NO. I'm not ready to talk about it. --Dillon Francis-- It was really therapeutic. -it was nice, they had protective equipment -there was a line, and a queue -it was literally the safest moshpit I've ever attended. Meanwhile, at the Skrillex concert: I'M NOT READY. - Well, that was nuts. Please. No amount of marijuana is going to make you capable of understanding-- I'm not trying to understand, i'm trying to cope; okay? This nigga has magical powers. --And then what?-- Is she still on fire? (an explosion) Yes. Is she still on fire? (several explosions) Maybe. There were so many bombs. (((But the worst?))) “The Nigga Conniption” Oh, shit, is that what we're calling it? Where did he get it? He didn't “get it”, he just had it. How could he just “have it.” I had to do something; They were going to kill him. What happened to your “survival of the fittest” This is different. How is it different? This is different because he isn't sick, or defective--he's just...created… …? ...differently. So it's different. Woah. That's a lot of shit. It is a lot. What the fuck. I swear to GOD i've been in this WOBBLE for over a MINUTE NOW. Ahhhh, there you are-- Ah, The Wobbles. Here, we meet: -mr. wobble -the wobble monster and some other wobble people who live in the wobble. Bruh. I am so tired. What does this dude eat for breakfast? I guess we insert that scene with Dillon Francis here, right? (((Yup.)) So, to this festival… YESTIVAL. Oh shit, is that what we called it? YES. oh shit, because-- EVERYTHING IS YES. (Everything was yes.) ((It was.)) (((It still is.))) The Venga Bus. The Double Dutch Bus. Whatever that is. The Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile. That strange Double Decker from Harry Potter. T h e S o u l T r a i n Did it have a name? I don't know. I don't have time for the internet right now. Now they call me “the internet” Okay, wait-- Yeah. So. Next time I die, that's it--everything just stops. Yes. _ Eventually I'm gonna get sick of this shit and just sit But that's someday, And todays not it; It's lit About to hit TiTs and Hit the Highway, And I'm on the way Cause I was born to rage. DaDa Life. Ahhs, those were the days. The golden age of rave… FIRST OF ALL PASQUALE, THIS SHIT IS RIDICULOUS. (Overhead of EDC) YOU DID THIS. [that's a neutral] Is she yelling at him? I think she's more proud and impressed, but pissed at the same time, because he's just so nonchalant and calm about it. Oh please, that nigga is not calm. Face. Have you seen his eyes? They're wild. Wild, I tell you. OKay what the fuck is happening; Pasqualle's eating Twinkies right now. Dude, the world is ending. I don't think the world is “ending”, it's just...something's probably wrong with it or something. [[watching virtual rave]] oh yes, something is wrong with it definitely. What is actually happening right now. This shit just lifted us into space-- --this isn't it, is it?-- What, at the rave? You're still at that rave? You have reception in space?...Hello… Oh Hell No. My Phone cut off! I still have reception. Who do you have T Mobile (but later) Bruh, I just lost service. What? Oh no. Oh, what-- I still have service. What? When did you get here? Who the fuck are you? I've...always been here. What, no you haven't, I-- Shh. Here. What? How do you have service? What carrier is this? GOOGLE. I don't know--have you asked Google about it? No, fuck that, I don't want to talk to Google about it--she's just going to make me over analyse everything-- Maybe you should over-analyse it. No. Hey man, the word ‘analysis' is starting to look funny. Of course it looks funny, it starts with ‘anal' Who starts with ‘anal'? Touchy. Hooe shit, have you seen that bitch? She's scary. She's a bit scary. Did she say that? I believe it. I don't know if I believe it. BELIEVE IT. Wait, you're Naruto? In the flesh! WHY! Why am I Naruto? WHY ARE YOU IN THE FLESH?! How did you DO this? You did-did. I did not DO this; I couldn't DO this! You can do anything. But I didn't! But you can. You can do everything. You are everything. But i'm not. Alright. Then you're not. WHAT? If you honestly believe that--or whatever you honestly believe--then that's facts. Damn, she put you in a “Fuck You” Chamber. [*ding!* FUHCKYOU] What did you DO. Yo, what did you doooo. What did you do to this girl, oh my god dude; I hate you. I hate you! I HATE YOU. I HATE-- Oh now, dear; Hate is such a strong word. Ohh. It's a Skrillex. S K R I L L E X It is. Looks Fragile. Should we grab it? FIRST OF ALL, --Goddammit, dude-- “IT”, is a HE. Okay, DAMN. DAMN? OKAY. [she does.] Damn. Yeah. So that's what “Damn” is. Lol the first damnation. Hey-- Hi-- Okay, what if-- What if: THAT'S the name of your Supergroup? I wanted to call us “Trifecta” Here? yeah , right here. This is where you want your Kingdom? ...Yeah, right here. ...Okay... Okay. {A look} K bye. _ I've been at this rave for 57 days. _ Okay. Ya'll. Okay, ya'll! No. Guys. We gotta get out of here. What? Noooo. We're just getting started. No. Guys. I'm serious. Something is happening. “I see dead people” ...Freddy Mercury? Really. Uh huh. At a rave. Yes. In space. We did go to space, yes. Okay. Simpson? Yes. I'm gonna need you to take the day off. he's crazy He's not crazy, he's just gay! he's craaazy gay. _ Okay. But how do you know him? he's my ex. No he isn't. Who is it? (sighs) it's...my ex. WHAT? Check. Mate. Bitch. __ Mm. I know her. Who--Billie Ellish-- [Nods] What? Take me to her. Take you...to Billie Ellish. If that's what you're calling...her... now...yes. “now”? Mmhmm. Lady, how old are you--and what is this shit? Hm. (squints) try it. (sus) UH, no…? Suit yourself. It's there if you ever want it. (later) Dillon Francis is searching frantically for extra magic when-- [He comes across the flask, and snatches it.] WOW. Yeah, I know; it's crazy, right? You just found him like this? I did. Where was he? I tripped over him at a bus stop. Woah. Bro, that's so mean. Okay What did Dillon Francis do to you? He knows what he did. He does? No. (He actually does.) Oh, I knew it! ((You should know it, you wrote--)) THE END. ___ What is your favorite invention? Of mine? Yeah. Hmm…. (((Ganja.))) What's your favorite color? Hmmm… (((White))) “When The Day Met The Night” Has Brenden Urie been to the future? Probably. He seems... He seems off. (He is) We all are. (You are.) Hey--who's saying that? Let me be Frank. Dooooooog. it's that part! It's that part. Shuttup! Nigga this is it--this is the shit I told you! So...how many channels is this on? It's on millions of channels throughout the interdiemensions and counting. “Millions of channels throughout the interdimensions,” Not only are we Global; We are now Interplanetary, and our Communication Technology has connected us into the outer dimensions, and intersecting parallels. Are you guys done blowing eachother up yet? UH, WHAT? You're idiots; This was supposed to be a redemption for your entire species, and you fuckwads ruined...pretty much everything. Now we have to mellow out your entire civilization-- --yeah, or annihilate it-- ---just for you backwards savages to get lifted into the Ascension. Idiots. What was that? What was what? Did you hear something? Hear what? Ouch! Ow? What's wrong? Are you Okay?! *trigger, pulled* -------------------------------------------------------BOOM--------------------------------------------------------------- S/HE CAME THROUGH MY SUBWOOFER. She came in through the bathroom window. ___ No, no, no--let me be the DJ. You're already the DJ. Heh. I wanna be the DJ. What were you saying? I don't know. Something Something Sonny Something. So she took 6 Xanex, and #Adderall It was just a long day, that's all… And then I hear Skrillex is on his way HERE? Damn. No. I'm not okay. So, I... Damn dog, she lost it. She lost it. I ovet is. huh. Oh man, he was on one. I'm on one. Fuck it, I'm On One. Fuck. What happened? What happened? What happened? Well, that's tragic. Wait--this is a tragedy? No, it isn't--it's a comedy. No, it isn't-it has Sad Dillon Francis. Exactly. If it has sad Dillon Francis in it, it's tragic. It's supposed to be dramatic. Dillon Francis was crying in it? That's fantastic. That's hilarious. Sad Dillon Francis? I don't want to see sad Dillon Francis! He's a bad actor. Then i'll be sad. We're all sad. Oh, you're right--we're all sad. Oh. He is actually not a bad actor. He was really good in it. Oh, my God--it was really good. Are you serious? I'm not watching it. It's nominated for an Oscar. I'm not watching it. C'mon man --do you know how long it took to get my hands on this? They have them at Fantastik. Do you know what I had to do? It was not cool. Bro, it was so cool! So goood. He is, he's good. What has he done! This is bad. This is very bad. KLIPTOWN EMPYREAN, OH I GET IT, IT'S-- Sop. Okay? You're never gonna get it. ‘Nah, you're never gonna get it. Never ever gonna get it DUDE. WHAT? WRITE THE FUCKIN MOVIE. WHICH ONE? I DON'T KNOW--THE ONE THAT GETS US OUT OF HERE. How'd you learn how to do that? Do what? Does he know? No, he doesn't. He doesn't know. Oh. Oh, he doesn't know what he did? Nah, not yet. Wow. Have you seen this? [Looks] (Not Impressed) Now I have. What d you think-- I don't. That it's like, magic, or...what is that. I don't know what it is. Well...what do you think it is? I don't think, I just listen; and if anything sounds interesting, I just send it in. Interesting like this? [plays it] CUT TO: [stops it] This is interesting. They stare into The Box. I'm glad you did this in person. No one else can know about this; Not even our affiliates. Not even-- Nobody. Woah, it actually came back I told you, if it was a good idea, it would always come back. It...I guess. Besides, it's already happened. It's just playing over. “Do I Know you?” “Do you?” Damn. This shit gets deep. I don't get how it's deep. And I don't get how it's DIllon Francis. I can't even imagine how this happened. Imagine Dragons. That's--I'd rather--not. Anyway, why is she cooking this nigga breakfast? Because he's dead, he should have a nice breakfast. Yeah, you're probably right. BILLIE ELLISH I---like that scythe. SUPA CRYPT KEEPER It's nice, right? BILLIE ELLISH Yeah. I like it. SCK You like it? Have it. BILLIE ELLISH It's mine? SCK Yah! If you like it so much, just take it-- CUT TO DILLON FRANCIS DUDE, SHE TOOk ONE OF MY MAGNETS. CUT BACK TO BILLIE ELLISH Nice! Besides, I have another one just like it--but tiny. TINY SCYTHE. Have you seen this Billie Ellish kid? Oh wow. Yeah, she's kind of terrifying. BILLIE ELLISH is an Old Soul. (it's true, she actually is) A really, really old soul. Who is this. I like it. Are You Okay? Not really, but-- (Shrugs) That's it? That was the fast? Yup. But it was so short. Sometimes it is. But now what? What else do you want? I...don't know how to do this. Sure you do,you just do it. You don't know how you shine the sun, you just do it Just do it! JUST DO IT, NIKE. Is this your knife? I...yes. [they fight] Is this your knife? I... maybe... [they fight] Is this...your I-- [winces] CUT TO: Now, give me your hat. What, why?! GIVE ME YOUR HAT. Damn dude, Skrillex is kicking ass and taking names all day in this. What movie is this? *This is the dimension where pretty much, everything is Skrillex. Well, Everything is Skrillex. Is this the one with the Bellagio Fountain? I think it is. Nigga. He remixed it. He what? The Conniption. He remixed it. What? “The Conniption”; that's what people are calling it. Oh... Yeah. Bruh. Look at-- OH MY GOD. Bro..you leave the fandom, you leave the kingdom. What Kingdom? Dog, this isn't a Kingdom, it's just random. Bro, people LOVE IT. Now they want you to do a collab together. A collab with Skrillex? I can't afford a collab with Skrillex.. You have to do a collab with Skrillex! Uh, I don't have to do anything. Especially that. ___ You're getting residuals off my existence. I am your existence. SKRILLEX is a SUPERSTAR DJ. -&- SUPACREE is a SUPERSTAR DJ. WARNING: This combination is potentially hazardous. WARNING. ! ! ! X___X WARNING. __ ...is there something you need me to do? It's... hard to talk about it... Then don't, you don't have to speak, at all, you know. Oh what, he's telepathic? Homeotelepathy. What is that? BRO, WHAT IS YOUR POWER. Dude, I don't want to see Skrillex. That shit is terrifying. You're terrified of Skrillex? [Plays three clips] ...yeah, dude. Okay, so basically. Wow, he's a rocket scientist. How did you get to this Planet? What Planet. Oh, Goddamn him. Well, t-- Then we just LARPED. Wow that's... Oh, it got violent. Are you Finished with the Skrillex? Not yet. DUDE, DID YOU KNOW? NO! DID HE KNOW? NO! (((YES.))) AGH. I hate this place! Everything is YES. You're a fucking idiot. Oh yeah, you're a fucking Skrillex. How about that? Call me Skrillex again, you little bitch--just look me in the eye and say it. Skrillex. __ Hey, I know this magic… Magic, this is all magic. Yeah, I know this guy; This is Jimmy Fallon's magic. (Good job, bro.) Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. What the fuck I thought it was a planet. *Ahem. Jimmy Fallon's Magic Galaxy. Oh, wow. Alright, then. WHAT. Jimmy Fallon isn't a Bampheramph. Actually, he just made Captain. You're kidding. No, that was... that just happened. Jimmy Fallon. (Obviously) Come with--actually, you can stay right there. What? Just stand right there. ...and that's his magic. How does he have that? What did he ask for? What did you give him? What did he ask for? What did you give him?! Oh My God. You can't just go around granting wishes! I was just trying to manage these prayers, one-handedly. You can't just answer all the prayers as “wishes granted” that's why we have this system. Christ. No, not me--not today, Satan; I can't TAKE IT. JESUS CHRIST. Nah, he quit. What?! BUT. You got me now, so. Who the FUCK are you? I'm..uh... What are they calling me? They don't know it's you, they're still calling you Jesus. Well of course they still worship Jesus. Which Jesus? Well, any Jesus--All The Jesus. It was all the Jesus. All the Jesus. Magic Israel? A Ziptie machine? A “Stud Finder” IT WORKED. Of course it works. Well, no use crying over spilled Skrillex. But what do we do with it? Well, we're just going to have to get rid of it. Get rid of it? Fuck that! Didn't you say you wanted to *sissappear? Yes. Then get out of here. It is-- No, this isn't. This is his. No it isn't--it isn't Skrillex. What do you mean “It isn't Skrillex”? It's Skrillex. It isn't Skrillex. What are you talking about--it's-- I made this. What? No, it's. It's me. I did this. She's not mad at him, or anything In fact, She's just a fragment Or a figment or a magnet, that managed to stick In his imagination I hang out in this memory It's bad, But I keep going back-- I thought maybe I could manage it Keep it from happening But it just keeps happening And hasn't yet I have to see him. His eyes. He's hiding it. I know where the rest is. Skrillex has it. I'm dying, right? I have to be dying. You're dead. But I'm dying. I've been here before and I've felt it. Tokyo? High rise. Sounds Nice. Check the price on a flight. Likewise, I've tried to find this guy about a million times. I know where he hides it. So, how does it end? It just ends. yeah --but how does it end? It just...ended. You actually have to leave, to get out of here. NO… Don't do it. Don't do what? I didn't do anything. This is the way she wanted it. JUMP. Jump--now? Are you sure? This morning my mind was made up; I was going to Thailand for over a month. Sweet, and Rich-- But Flaky Like a pastry in the morning; Seems like a great treat but really, He's no good for me So we'll have a Mexican Wedding Damn. How did Dillon Francis get so high up??? Well, I found him hanging from a tree, so. OH FUCK, I GET IT-- HE IS GERALD. Damn. I don't know how to explain this… Oh shit, I get it; I'm Gerald. - — NEXT EPISODE: CESMET AND PETRUFHEIO are beyond overwhelm; GIAN stands before them, taking a respectful bow as he, too joins them in battlestance, which cannot be broken in physical stature, however the focused energy between the triad raises the entire colleaium into a total chaos and commotion. GIAN?! What is this? Who are you? GIAN, serious and stern, unusual to his demeanor, scoffs, as he focuses on C'esme't, acknowledging her presence in consciousness, and all respect. Petrutheio, face reddened, implodes with anger, nearly breaking his stance. Go ahead, Pet— That's Your Highness— —you can't win— —I already have— —He'll kill you. —he's already dead— Aren't we all? C'esme't, the only of the triad having actually experienced all forms of death, aoftens her gaze, entering into cosmic ompinpotence I'm having a hard time Getting started With this project Probably because I just want off this planet Cause it's lovelies; I'm honest with my thoughts, And now I'm lost in them I'm lost without you Lost another pair of socks, In the common laundry room I'm just an everyday, ordinary Motherfucking wannabe, a DJ But I wanna be a mother one day I'm at the apex I'm a warning call, A warning call A warning If I kill myself again, I'm waking up next to my lover So good morning, So good morning Just a warning Nothing's ever better Then the taste of butter; Dug you up to wonder what the fuck was up With all the rubber ducks Inside my cup, or tub I'm just a cuck I guess you really love her, huh I really love the one, I really love I really love My other husband— Huh I'm at the apex I'm a warning call, A warning call A warning [SHOT] If I kill myself again, I'm waking up next to my lover So good morning, So good morning Just a warning [SHOT] Just a warning shot to shut you up, You little fucking slut Enough's enough Another lover, motherfucker Suck it up, you cunt You're just another one You're just another one of us You're just another Just another one of us You're just another one You're just another one of us You're just another Just another one of us I dug you up to hug you, But all you are is just Some bones, dressed in new clothes I took your skull home And I put it on my mantle, Make a wish, —and then I blow the candle Out. Huh C'esme't has secretly turned to self-harm, in the midst of her ongoing emotional crisis due to Petruchio's arrogance and deliberate carelessness; she begins to fear for her Selfl, as she discovers during a match in her reflective state that she is recently unable to cry, hardened by her stubbornly aggressive counterpart, C'esme't draws the blood of her palm, which she spills onto the sundial in the labyrinth; she is startled and surprised shamefully by Gian, who, though normally calm becomes diffuse, and sent into a powerful fury of sadness and rage-- She reveals to Gian, in his onset of tears that she herself has been unable to cry, to which he deflates as she comforts him, holding his as he weeps glistening streams of ‘conscious tears, crying quite physically for the two of them, blood mixing with his tears as he grasps s cesmet's wounded palm, gripping it to his cheek; His intrinsic healing powers are revealed as his tears begin to mend the deep wound; Meanwhile, Petrutheio becomes irritated, as he is forced to continue pausing a Jester's Match, stricken with excruciating pain in his own palm; Attempting to ignore it, he continues forward with his match, but is irreversibly injured when s when his palm becomes again singed with pain and he is stricken by his opponent; He falls to the ground, clutching his palm, immediately knocked unconscious. He fades into a dream. PETRUTHEIO, YOU TELEPATHIC HACK! Oh, so you finally acknowledge my telepathy… In the highest realm, where The One is set to assume, interwoven intoThe Golden Goddess Of The Eye— Dark Heart Artist —the Eldest consciousness in any given existence; being that of everything of Love, and Light The middle realm, where the majority of a——- What the fuck. Wait, what happened? It just ENDS!!? It just ENDED. WHAT THE FUCK. AHHHAHHHHAHAHHHH. No, no, no– WHAT THE FUCK Wait! Go back! AHHHHHHHHH. [Holding eachother screaming] Oh, look. A butterfly. WHAT. There is is. Oh. See. huh. [a calm silence] Bro. huh . Wait. we're INSIDE. {holding eachotherscreaming] My heart is in another place, And with these words we face A face to face A fight of fights The faux of foes— And so, a duel it is For you, I fawned; For you, I called— The darkest night was followed by The lightest light That Dawn could bring, And I would sing this to you, too, My love— But have no melody A melodrama, Or a comedy? Come my lover, come to me My lover, come to me Come to me, my lover, Come ro me— Come, my lover, Come to me— Come to me, my lover Come to me Come to me What was once, Is always— Don't you see? I see you, See you, see me What we were, We always are We always are We always, always Oh, what would you do to me? Oh, what will you do to me? Oh, what did you do to me? What have you done to me? Come to me, my lover, Come ro me— Come, my lover, Come to me— Come to me, my lover Come to me Come to me I did fall; We did fight— It is love; He had fawned for me once— Oh— Love is what it always was; What we were once, We all become Come to me, my lover Come to me, my lover Come to me, my lover My lover, come to me Come to me, my lover, Come ro me— Come, my lover, Come to me— Come to me, my lover Come to me Come to me HI, I'm Gerald. Dude, I can't tell the story of Gerald. Only Dillon Francis can do that. I concur. That's right. Gerald is his friend-- --He's my friend-- I'm not go-- And that's it. It just ends. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Twisted Teachers
Angry Elephants, Pool Noodle Sword Fighting, and Anchor Chart Reality

Twisted Teachers

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 44:51


FIRST OF ALL! Congrats to Ben and Jen for their marriage! Our Jen tells her tale of going to the wrong airport and the amazing customer service she received. Kim talks about the lazy river Reel commentary (from non-teachers). They delve into the true purpose of anchor charts and discuss how even elephants have a breaking point. They also talk about the Tennesee governor not standing up for teachers. Check out our merch!https://www.twistedteacherspodcast.com/merchandise-maniaSOURCES:https://www.newschannel5.com/news/newschannel-5-investigates/revealed/educators-offended-and-disgusted-by-comments-from-tennessee-governors-charter-school-friendhttps://people.com/movies/jennifer-lopez-and-ben-affleck-married/https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/06/20/elephant-trampled-woman-funeral/

The Ego Podcast
E33 We got Rejected

The Ego Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2022 38:23


FIRST OF ALL, huge thank you to @jhovaf for upgrading our sound and video quality for the Ego Podcast. Now you can catch us in 4k

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

____ I guess it just is what it is, then Comin fresh out the whip, like, “I'm off hiatus” Gonna jump for a swim in the ‘bitch,' Itchin drive me crazy; Gonna need 6-10 stitches, the doctor say He's in big business, with the witch Tengris– Gotta play Tennis while I watch Tenet all in ten minutes (On my small engine/indjun) Turn around do a spin, drift like i'm Ben Ten, And it's intense, like I been campin, –Then I ditched Skrillex. Just moved in, but it's been lived in Set some new intentions, Get bent, got some new addictions, spin zen, got some new additions Big Wig like I'm Hamilton in some New Editions Did some big mentions, I should send dick pics. Watch this. “It's Dillon Francis” Now I'm real famous, But i'm still nameless– I just made the game up, Still got jealous haters *coughs* I should say Gel-ous Cause she got her nails did *indjun; American slang for native or indigenous peoples of Northern America. [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT.] _________ [Three cross dimensions are about to collide into a singular reality. Three hospital rooms, three ensembles, three patients on their deathbeds;] Three Cities, Three Main Stages At Three Major Music Festivals. Three superstar DJs at the decks. Did we make it? Is it too late? Is she gone? Where is she? Are you serious? We're never gonna make it. NO! 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? "Are you okay?" This isn't happening. Do we have time? Never say Never. -We'll never make it -Don't say that! Are you ready? Yo, where IS she? He's like, crazy or something. She's crazy. This is craaaaazy. Ok, first of all-- Go! Go! Go, now! -So, she already told you beforehand? -Yes. NO! YES! YAAAAAAS. All dimensions: No/NO NO, OH GOD NO-- "YES, OH MY GOD" (sampled) (What?) "JESUS." (Sampled from, Coffee Run) (What?) Don't-- What are you doing here? (Angrily) Ū!!!! It's YOU! A group dancing to Soulja Boy (Youuuuuuuu!) (Rollercoaster sample from Scatta) I don't know, he's been, you know-- -Did you know? -No… -DID YOU KNOW? Know what? What? What is what? (From Deathbed) ...Water… Surprised reactions, at the bedside -Run! -How much time do we have? -Take all the time you need. Time...Ah, yes, I--yes, I remember Time... She says it all the time, I didn't think she'd actually– He's gone. She died, right? ------------ "Running Out Of Time" [Frazzled and haggardly beaten, having exhausted everything attempting to unravel an endless web of timelines tied together ultimately by inevitability, he frantically rifles through his apartment, tearing through every corner, fiending for any energy source. He uplifts the couch cushions, tossing away various (insert easter eggs here) objects, empty portal guns, as the vibrations from a buzzing phone alert him of an incoming call, he fishes armpit deep into the crevices, red faced and cracked lips, cursing: --c'mon, c'mon--how did this get so fucking DEEP. God DAMN IT-- ------ By Chak Chel's bedside, The Ascended Masters are gathered surrounding a weak and lifeless GOD/Chak Chel in her absolutely oldest physical body. Oh man, I don't think she can handle many more of these Damnations, it's just more and more damage… I told you we should have Destroyed that damn planet! She created that planet-- It's not about the planet, it's the inhabitants. If we annihilate humanity now, the planet itself may regenerate with time… Time…? I-- They all turn their heads toward Chak Chel, as she drifts back out of consciousness. PAUSE *EDIT* What? Just– What!? What would it be like to listen to some Skrillex right now? NO. NEVER AGAIN. [Thinking, drifts away.] *listening to deadmau5, thinking about Skrillex* Hmnnn. Moar Ghosts N' Stuff. *Synth Drops In* Nope, I'm Good lol. CUT TO: I told you I could be Joel's cat. Oh, wow, nice. JOEL NO, MEOWINGTONS, NYO !!!!!!!! Meheh. UNPAUSE CUT BACK TO: She's so lost to time... If she succumbs under this darkness, it could be eons before The Light is restored. It may never be. INSOLENT CREATURES! Perhaps we should prepare for invasion. Invasion? They are primitive beings, barely reached the outer realms of consciousness-- We'd be waging an all-out war, on an intergalactic scale; the magnitude of this could ripple through --infinite-- --infinite dimensions-- This is everything. Everything is Everything. Pft. Yeah--until it's nothing-- Oh, yeah--just add to the amount of negative energy-- might as Well just push her into The Void. I'll push you into The Void. Nothing I haven't been through. Yeah, dude, we've all been through The Void. ...I am The Void... I was at THE ASCENSION! Where were you?? (They argue loudly.) [The Crypt Keeper Lurks Silently in the corner.] Guys. [The room is in upheaval, an outroar of arguments have erupted amongst the Gods, the Ascended Masters and other chosen leaders from each realm throughout the multiverse. ] ...Shhht, quiet... [The Crypt Keeper slowly lifts up her staff, in slow motion ] (SUPACREE shakes her head at the crypt keeper, gesturing "no, don't" ) Guys. [As the crypt keeper lowers her staff, SupaCree begins to emit a shining white light.] GUYS! THE CRYPT KEEPER CHARGES HER STAFF INTO THE GROUND, SHAKING THE WORLD WITH A THUNDEROUS FORCE, THREE TIMES. The fabric of the entire multiverse begins to shatter. The room cowers in fear and uncertainty. CHAK CHEL (very weakly) Where's Dillon…he...he should be back by now… Wait, Dillon- Dillon WHO!? Dillon Francis? Wait--what? Dillon Francis, are you serious? Oh, God-- --Shh-- Sorry, I just--seriously--? Dillon Francis. It's always Dillon Francis. Tell me about it, Jesus Christ-- --SHH--!! It's fine, I put the light inside of that one. What light? You put the Divine light of The Source inside of that guy? I'm not a--wait--what light? What's a "Dillon Francis?" We had to hide it. CHAK CHEL Dillon? ...he...he should be here by now,-- I--I have to give him more time… Wow, Dillon Fucking--the whole time– (Tying into the dimension where SupaCree has just divulged that her favorite DJ is Dillon Francis.) That's her apprentice? What! Explains how he's always everywhere, I guess-- Except here. --yeah, where IS he anyway? Yeah, I mean--he should have been here awhile ago. What the fuck does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? I mean really. [The Gods have quietly moved into a secret chamber, hidden from the rest of the–] WHAT THE FUCK. WHO did this? We had to act quickly-- It was a unified decision; DECISION BY WHO? [They fall quiet.] WHOSE idea was it to hide the Divine light of the source within this--this--imperfect and flawed excuse for a body? What genetic catastrophe allowed for this creature to have been created? Her genetic code is what allowed us to be able to-- --THE GODS ARE CREATED IN OUR IMAGE! WHAT TAINTED IMAGE IS THIS? ITS AS IF SATAN CREATED IT, IF SATAN COULD-- ...Satan Sealed The Shield... [The Gods all react in surprise and horror.] ...What… WHAT? You entrusted SATAN with the encryption of The– Not me. Chak Chel. WHAT? ...what? Why would...why would… Why would she trade her immortality for– She sacrificed her connection to The Source? What for? She would sacrifice anything to save humanity from extinction. She...loves that planet, and its inhabitants. She believed in the overall good of humankind, that they could one day come to know Love. To Be Love. She was created and designed specifically to be the embodiment of life and light itself-- The Prophecy (III) [THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled, the ensemble shieled by an ‘inpenatrable' invisible forcefield; SUPACREE senses the energy field, Which she walks into, nonchalantly.] She has awakened her consciousness far more quickly than was ever expected-- The Origins Once we send her back, she will have been three times resurrected from Death. How is she to bring these...this planet so drowned in darkness into the light? She can. She will. She has. There have been innumerous witnesses to the manifestations and miracles the power of the light has given her. And she's yet to use the entirety of the Source power to its full potential. Still, these instances of power manifestation have left a shockwave amidst many, even the Prophets, as foretold have discussed a solidified following amongst the alchemists, sorcerer-- --even mortals who have come to practice in the occult sciences-- She has believers. (Uhh...I think it's a cult. What's a cult?) In the dimension where the world has succumb to darkness-- -The Mormons!? -Oh, really? Hm. -Jesus. [Enter Mormon Jesus] In the same reality, Which SUPACREE has been trapped in for nearly a eternity in entirety now, she sits drenched in sweat inside her car, as onlookers from the surrounding affluent neighborhood peer into the vehicle with disgust; she looks much like a crackhead talking to herself; however, Jesus, Neva, Se7en and Goldie's anamorphosis personifications by The Guardian Angels accompany her, Avicii, also omnipresent, but unable to be seen or heard in the material reality, even between The Spirit World, which SUPACREE has journeyed deeply into, in search of Chak Chel--who has consistently been leaving hints in Nature, guiding her eventually into "God" (A Long Drive, With You, Friends) A very Jewish woman sneers, glaring at SUPACREE through the window. Telepathically, very loud and disapproving of here mere presense. (CONT'D) … She just doesn't believe in herself. The Darkness has been working to weaken the potential of The Light for quite some time now. There is an evil in the power of man, darkness in the consumption of currency-- --she's been targeted by her own country as an enemy, which the world powers see as a threat-- --her, a threat--? --she had political ambitions. These men wage war over currency, the hypocrisy of religion. America. She has the ability to be one of the most powerful leaders in human history. She acts instinctively in Love. A target? Her world has been long lost from love, succumbed to the darkness, the primitive error of man. Greed. She has overcome more alienation, more life altering loss of light in just this lifetime than can And, has been raised by the shepherds and priests in the teachings of the great kingdom. She brings herself to Death in despair and sadness. She cannot live with the power of The Source Light in the loss of Love; the pain becomes too great. And now? She's been bestowed by the ancients the wisdom of her true origins. So she knows… She knows that in the absence of Love, there is no Life left to light. Love is the thing that weaves together the fabric of space and time. Reality Is… AH, JESUS CHRIST! SUPACREE appears behind DILLON FRANCIS in the doorway silently. The Bampheramph Line rings, he hopes it is Hanzel--it is Chak Chel--he rolls his eyes, tossing his phone to the side You should probably answer that. DILLON FRANCIS You should probably shut the fuck up, how about that? SUPACREE Relax. I need you to listen to me--remember that thing-- DILLON FRANCIS Which THING? EVERYTHING? Like EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING? Like that!? Huh! SUPACREE ...yes, it's that exactly, actually. DILLON FRANCIS. "Exactly, actually--actually," SUPACREE appears in full form, out of the translucency of the higher realms and into the personification of the third dimensional realm. SUPACREE Come on, dude, we don't have time for this! DILLON FRANCIS Time? What the fuck is time? SUPACREE Come on, Dillon, we really don't have time for this, I'll explain it-- DILLON FRANCIS Explain it when? When you have time? [He turns to see her, standing in the doorway; A simple plain white T shirt and blue jeans.] (gh0st.) SUPACREE I'm trying to tell you, dude. It's time. DILLON FRANCIS Wait, why do you look--wait, which dimension is--whats different about--wait (Sampled "Wait", at the crosswalk) sneakers launch from the sidewalk and into the busy intersection, in a sprint. "Two genres: Hardstyle, and Country." "I don't know what the 3rd world war will be fought with, but the 4th will be with sticks and stones." This begins the battle against "good" and "evil", " darkness" and "light", "life" and "death"--but as the Source, Gods and Ascended Masters all know, that all are one in the same--that these concepts only exist within a primitive human psyche. The collective consciousness of "hybrids", hyper-intellectual "human" individuals with extraterrestrial origins and ancient ancestors, predating the human era (which some distant--even technologically-- advanced beings amongst intelligent civilizations throughout the cosmos infinite galaxies ever expanding throughout the outer realms of the multiverse, all of consciousness "And there is no "all", because infinite means that it has yet to end." *Moving sand (the universe) into a giant space dump truck/space dump.* ...is that all of it? SŪPA and SKRILLEX, after both having been involuntarily flung "around" an infinitely expanding universe, are finally head to head after hunting each other in realms beyond time and space for literal eternities; The peak of their confused fury comes to a face-to-face blowout, to which the likes the Heavens nor the Underworld ever have seen. In dimensions where people are tuning in on multi/interdimensional cable, the audience is glued to their seats. (People in rural areas are going through obscene and ridiculous lengths to get a signal so that they can tune in. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: RICK AND MORTY MORTY Ohhh, oh shit Rick! I-its that show, with the--uhh, uhhh... RICK Which 'uhh-uhhs', Morty--the big ones, or the little ones? MORTY Uhhh–'Flying Magic DJ Monkey Unicorn Space...Wars...I think. RICK Oh, you mean ‘Space Rave? You mean like, where they're at a rave *belch* in-in-in Space? Or something like that? MORTY No, it's Monkey Flying Magic DJ...Monkey… RICK --You said "monkey" twice-- MORTY (CONT'D) ...Space Wars… RICK I don't know, Morty--last time I allowed myself to participate in a music festival, it got, uh, *coughs* It got pretty deep. Flashback: DILLON PICKLE FRANCIS// PICKLE RICK Flashback Within Flashback :The Hellavator Flashback within Flashback Within Flashback: SŪPA dropping the bass, eliminating RIck and Morty/justin roiland (and Dan Harmon, I guess) from existence in entirety. RICK ...yeah, I uhh. Let-uh-let me see that. [He takes the remote control from morty, switching between the channels. They are all SupaTV original series, eventually skipping past 'Ricky and Mo', an over stereotypically alternate Rick and Morty, where the characters are black. (And features an animated Ricky (from Run Ricky Run) as its main character. RICK [w/MORTY] What the-- MORTY Go back, Rick! Everybody's favorite DJ is about to battle her favorite DJ. RICK --who, what? H-h-holdon-- MORTY, rushing over to the television, hurriedly switches the channel back manually to its original channel, from a dimension where the drama has been documented as a melodramatic soap opera meets gameshow. ANNOUNCER [W/MORTY] DUEL! RICK Duel the wha--oh my God, what is she doing with that chicken wing--? Ū! RICK This is just, brutal-- MORTY That was just a highlight. The boss fight is live. RICK Boss fight... Live--wait a minute--i know that lady! F I G H T. [HANZEL and GRETL are, of course, selling scalped tickets and portal guns to fans who have been following along as the series progresses, They play a 'Deep Deep Deep Bass House' HANZEL (it's a new genre) B2B set, which emits a magical low frequency bass, opening teleportals which immediately transport attendees into the Colosseum, where a furious SONNY/SKRILLEX and a rage-fueled SŪP∆CREE have "randomly" (actually, the result of a carefully planned (and in some dimensions/worlds, failed series of coordinated efforts from various sides, creating wormholes, time gaps, opening (and/or closing) portals with certain intentions, and creating "coincidences" between their two worlds which ultimately expand or collapse the respective universes within the multiverse at their centers. [The festival is in full swing; Behind the scenes, our beloved DJs ready themselves accordingly. ] Everybody's there. (Also, this is where "Everyone's a DJ now" gets really out of control.) *spoiler alert* DJ battle underway. This is the all-out cage match of magic music ninja All the Rave Weaponry. All the Jesus. Everything. The calm before the storm: The theatre and excitement of the largest scale highest production quality and rave culture values ever known to man (or otherwise). A living, breathing ECO system which expands outward, the Colosseum at it's center, where sparkles with the decadence of the Mainstage. Unassumingly, strolling along stage right SKRILLEX sips on a refreshing beverage--surrounded by his entourage and bodyguard, as per the usual. Stage left, SŪPA and her #squad are big chillin', eating lollipops, ice cream cones, popsicles, and cupcakes… super classy. *supaclassy. DILLON FRANCIS lurks nervously in the background. (He's in the background of every scene, in different clothing, Bampheramphing hectically and sweating bullets. *probably on something. In some cut scenes he is in SŪPA's entourage, in drag--eating a taco, or hot wing rather than candy. He is still being flung around the infinite multiverse, both with purpose and intention for each "side", and has become something of a omni-agent, completing tasks within the multiverse for almost every force imaginable (and yet to be imagined, infinitely forever after.) SŪP∆, after being transported through a multilayered wormhole, threaded across the Insomniac (and live nation) festivals and concerts she's attended throughout the years and dimensions. Uncertain of which actual realm and dimension she's ended up in, (obviously, one where her SŪP∆ Brand has become a success, realizing her dreams of becoming a "superstar DJ") without the panel, she must summon her forceful energy and light magic by combining her natural intuitive powers and ancient knowledge insight. She performs various tests within her current reality, as she 'attempts' to recover and pull herself back together, having been only just moments ago cosmically annihilated for a series of infinite eternities, whilst looking for Skrillex. Luckily, she still possesses the Golden Flash drive. It is the final of her array of rave weapons, and by far most powerful. Skrillex is Skrillex. They lock eyes from across the stage. An explosion. -blam- (MIND = BLOWN.) (((throughout the dimensions))) AAARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEE TV VIEWERS: nervous/excited/scared/happy/sad MORTY Oh, shit! It's on! It's on! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE SEEN HER! HE SEEN HER! *tribal dancing*/chanting* DILLON FRANCIS from center Sees SŪP∆CREE seeing SKRILLEX, squinting in confisiouson (when you think so hard, you momentarily turn into confucius.) She's mad. DILLON FRANCIS Oh--NOOO. He snaps his neck in the opposite direction, to see SKRILLEX seeing SŪP∆CREE, squinting Skrillex-y. (That's extra, extra hard.) He's mad. DILLON FRANCIS OH GOD, NO! He morphs into DILLON GLANCES and DILLON FLANCES, respectively. (3) Wtf is this like a fucked up shadow-clone juitsu? Just– DILLON FRANCIS (To Dillon Glances: giving him the Golden Flash drive) I have to--I gotta--just take th- DILLON GLANCES I can't. DILLON FRANCIS You CAN. DILLON GLANCES I can't. I'm not a DJ. DILLON FRANCIS Everyone's a fucking DJ, DO IT. DILLOn GLANCES Jesus. DILLON FRANCIS: JUST DO IT. [They run off in three seperate directions: DILLON FRANCIS runs to center stage, attempting to prevent the all out massacre of DJ dueling about to take place…] DILLON FLANCES runs into the festival's huge and quickly growing-crowd, as people literally appear out of various portals and wormholes from all over the multiverse. crowds of party goers, exiting them, attempting to open portals to evacuate them to a less fragile timeline. DILLON GLANCES, who is–in fact– not a DJ, a Bampheramph, or time traveler of any sort.. (by any purposeful means, anyway. He " just kind of gets "sucked in to this shit") —eventually crowning him as an Honorary Bampheramph (which people hate, because it's still an extension of Dillon Francis.) —-posing as Dillon Frances, steps up to the decks SKRILLEX and SŪP∆ charge towards each other furiously-- Nobody knows what to do. As they draw closer to each other, radiating in fury and anger, they each explode. SŪP∆: YOÜ. SKRILLEX: YOŪ. They charge forward. BOTH: AHHHHHHHH!!!! An energy field opens; invisible energies take on color and shape in the outer worlds. Reality shifts. yelling. BOTH: WHERES MY MUSIC? BOTH: YOUR MUSIC?! BOTH: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SKRILLEX: No, who the fuck are youuu! SŪP∆: NO, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? (Simultaneously, to stage managers) SŪP∆: what is HE doing here? SKRILLEX: what is SHE doing here? BOTH: I'M ON THE LINEUP. SŪP∆: Of Course you're on the lineup. SKRILLEX Oh please, How did YOU get on the lineup? DILLON FRANCIS *Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, very out of breath and almost dead, still bleeding from open heart surgery through his shirt, face covered in hot wing sauce* Let me explain… BOTH: DILLON FRANCIS?!? BAMPHERAMPHS: ((From across the stage, viewing with Binoculars.)) …Dillon Francis? —Dillon Francis? What is he doing here? –Ugh, Seriously. Dillon Francis Again? DJ RICH AS FUCK Yo, Fuck Dillon Francis. DILLON FRANCIS Yeah, fuck Dillon Francis. … ...Aren't you Dillon Francis…? DILLON FRANCIS [Pointing at himself, on the stage. No, that's Dillon Francis. They turn to look back at the stage, DILLON FRANCIS vanishes. What the-- SUPACREE/SKRILLEX: (Now with anger directed towards Dillon) What are you doing here? DILLON FRANCIS: *Dazed and confused* Uh--I'm on the lineup. SŪP∆: How? SKRILLEX: Why? DILLON FRANCIS: Jesus Christ, I don't know, ok? Just please don't-- SŪP∆: Don't ‘WHAT Dillon Francis? blast this lil motherfucker out of every kind of fathomable existence with a billion giggatwats of NUCLEAR BASS? ! LIKE, THREE PEOPLE (at least) Giggatwats? DOC BROWN Gooodddamn. [GOD is going mad from all the goddamned goddamns. The Hellavator, hanging by not even a thread, has gone into its final stages of devastation and horror, as it nears taking its eternally damning plunge into the nearly infinite caverns of the underworld, Satan's domain of darkness.] Meanwhile, in multiple other dimensions: Have you seen the lineup? Are we going? We're going. We have to go. RAVEEEEE. Ohhhh shit. No. I'm not going. I have to go! Where are you guys going? PASQUALE: (flashback, daisy overalls.) You guys, where are we going? The brothers are looking through a futuristic digital catalogue of intergalactic raves throughout time and space. Yoooooo. What--you find something? Yoooooo. ...is it good? (Shows the lineup, obscured from view of the camera) FVCK. YAS. All the 'yas' SAUCE. All the sauce. Yo what planet is this even; what dimension is this in, like? Says, Earth. Earth?! No fucking way, earth doesn't have raves in any dimension I've ever heard of. [Coming in from other room.] Where doesn't have raves? Earth. Yo, what the fuck is "Earth." Bet you it's fake. Bet you it's not. Check on it. Google. Google Ūniverse is a holographic multidimensional map of their galaxy's known multiverse. They scroll through eons of galaxies, solar systems, planets, and stars the likes of which make our own galaxy, and our own sun appear to be nothing but specs of dust. Where is it? I don't see it anywhere. I told you it was fake. No. Keep going. Further. Keep going… Are you serious, where is this planet. Are you sure it's a planet? It's gotta be. Dude, there's nothing out here. Keep going. To what. This looks like a black hole ate a black whole. Something like that, what's that there? This puny galaxy? I don't think that's a galaxy. Oh, it is… They all tilt their heads, squinting. ...or.. was… They tilt their heads to the opposite side, squinting. ...or might be, someday. Or something. I don't know man, looks kinda fragile. 'Explore' "The Milkyway Galaxy" Ew. What is it? It's so dark. Well yeah, look at that tiny Sol. There's only...wait how many planets--? It's not much. I don't know man--you wanna go to a rave here? That's… (Shows the advertisement) Oh wow… Looks back at our galaxy, with a discerning consideration, then back at the ad, then back up at the "universe" I don't know man. That's way out there. Like...nowhere, actually. [Scrunched face of disapproval] "Earth." Come on guys. I mean-- (Plays promo) [EDC] DAMN. Aight. OKAY. Woooow. They all look back at the map, worriedly. Zooming in on earth. Mmkayyy. Hmmm. Yeah, this thing looks fragile. Yeah,look at that weird axis. (Wobbles) That can't last too long. This entire universe is on the verge of collapse. How did that...even...happen? The whole thing is like... All: huh. ...if we leave now, we can make it, gates open. Over 20 stages, live art, food-- --FOOD-- ...and...wait, that can't be right. This says "free water" WHAT? FREE WATER? OH WHAT. A RAVE SLASH INVASION? we don't have to invade if they're just giving it away FOR FREE. Free. Water. Psh. Water. It's a trap! Could be. Yeah, Free Water. ...it says...the almost the entire surface of this planet is what? What? That seems dangerous. It's almost entirely water, guys. That's impossible. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. IN-FIN-ATE. Nothing is impossible. But I thought nothing was nothing. Nothing is nothing. It's also something. And everything. Which is also nothing. But I thought everything was everything. Yes, which includes, and simultaneously also excludes but certainly not limited to, nothing. But when does it end? It...it doesn't, it just (gestures)...infinite. you know? So it just...doesn't… Stop? Yeah. No. It just keeps-- Yeah. Going. --and then nothing. Which is something. Yeah, nothing's something. Then what's something. Something's a something-- Anything. Some-thing. Yeah, but 'some' is just 'some' thing, not everything. Yeah, everything--anything. Anything can be something, and something can be anything. Which-- Which means,nothing's nothing--something can be anything, and anything can be something; which is everything. And-- Nothing. --so-- Infinite. “Once Upon A Dillon Francis” Once Upon a Dillon Francis… AGH. No. Start over. Uh, ok. Once upon a Dillon Francis. Stop saying that. Yuck. Why are you saying that? What? Once Upon a Dillon Francis? That makes Dillon Francis sound like Father Time! Yaghh! Okay? You can't say that. Why? Because he isn't. He could be. But he's not. So? Just. Go back. Okay...Once Upon A Dillon Francis. (Groans) Ok. Stop it. This isn't working. Because you're not letting me even-- No story ever started with Once Upon A Dillon Francis. This one might! If it starts with Dillon Francis, where would it-- Imagination is the key to all creativity. You made that up. I'm making up the whole thing! What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything-- He doesn't. Just listen! I'm not listening to anything that starts with Dillon Francis. Well what would you rather me say, once upon a Skrillex? Now that's more like it! No, it's not. It's just unsettling. It is. You know what! Forget it. There's no story. What, because there's no Dillon Francis? Exactly. What? Because. Ï You... I don't know about this Just keep-- This makes me feel some kind of wha. What kind of way every kind of way-- wait. “Remember Ryan” I do remember Ryan “Fuck Dillon Francis” Rich Nigga Shit. And your shirt. So-- So?! Who the fuck is this guy? He's Dillon Francis. No, who the fuck is he?! Not who-- Huh? What. Whatthefuck-- What? WHAT? Hanzel (& Gretl) are originally from Hell or 'The Dark Side', this gives reasoning to their stoic and sometimes henius mannerisms. Halo by Beyonce is multidimensional (listen, study) This car needs some wheels is about loving yourself (and to learn how to love someone else) "The Skrillex" The Cosmic Owl Chak Chel's Family-- The brothers Bampheramphs --old people -&Sonny/old lady in the park dog walking Rick n roll--dillon pickle Francis/pickle rick roll) (rock n roll) will take you to the the mountain No boys allowed//no Skrillex allowed Wait here. Why can't I just come with you? No boys allowed. Can't you see the sign on the door? What sign on the door? She places a sign on the door. Wait here. But. 5 minutes. Walks in, shutting door behind her. But. Opens sliding window hatch on door, peeking out. I'll be right back. But. A note is shoved backwards through the mail slot, and floats down between his feet. He picks it up to read it; it is a blank sheet of paper. He deflates. Gleeful girly cheers and chatter, laughter and and upbeat music from the other side of the door; an obvious party starts inside. Hours pass, Sonny is falling asleep standing up. He hears 3 women approaching, and excitedly shakes himself awake. He stands to the side, posing. What's up! (They cannot hear or see him. he isn't yet aware of the forcefield placed around him, for his protection (as he is being hunted throughout the universe.) Girl: Dude, I can't believe you know Rezz. Hey! Girl 2: yeah that's sooo cool. Girl: Yeah, VIP. Is like-- Girl: Oh my God, I bet it's like so lit. Girl: So Lit. Girl: Oh my God, yeah. I'm definitely doing VIP next year. Girl: Definitely. Girl: So worth it. Girl: So like, what time does it start-start? Girl: ummm, I don't know, but I think we're like early. Early!? Girl: Should I--oh, hey--im getting a call. It's the other DJ, I think she's inside already. (It's Ū) Girl: Hello? What up Ū! Ū? Hey! Heeeeey! Girl: yeah, we're at the door. Ohhhh shit, for real? Ok. (hangs up) yeah, she said she'll be down here in like, 5 minutes. Apparently the music's bumping, they couldn't even hear us at the door. Psh. 5 minutes yeah right. Girl: daynmm. Girl: yeah, there's like 10 famous DJs in there in there right now. Look at this snapchat I got earlier. Daaaam. Lit. I heard there's gonna be more. Is that Allison Wonderland? Allison Wonderland opens the door. Hi Guys! No way! It is Allison Wonderland! Hey!! Come on in guys! Girl: (closest to Sonny, but walking towards the door) wait, did you guys hear that weird. Girl: kind of, not really Girl: yeah I don't really believe in ghosts, but sometimes-- By now, Sonny has noticed that he hasn't been seen or heard by anyone and assumes his likely invisibility. However Allison Wonderland, being a DJ, has the ability to see through this force field (unbeknownst to him that it even exists.) Sonny stands at the door, staring. She stares back expressionlessly, straight into his soul with indifference of his presence. A brief silence, before Sonny furroughs his brows. She just stares at him. ...wait, can you see me? ...No. She shuts the door. Jack and Jill I'm elessian park You left your sister where Doctors A-Z (doctor p's planet; boogie t distant relative) Scary OWSLA (1000 VOLTS, WESTWOOD) GIANT JOSH PANDA THE SOUL SALESMEN THE CIA/FBI/MEN IN BLACK DONT FUCK WITH TIME (IRL) FROZEN SKRILLEX FOREST FIRE (REZZ) Ralph, Wendy, Denny, Trader Joe Mr moto guy Tips>>>SKRILLEX I thought we were done writing these. I guess not. Get the fuck back, Dillon Francis. Woah, I--okay. JUST STEP BACK. That's a gun! It's a bayonet. That's...where did you even get something like that? I time travel. That...makes sense. It has to. Wenzday. She's pretty. Aren't they all. They are. Maybe her. Anyone but you, huh? How would it ever be me? Still don't believe? How could I ever believe. They're all perfect. And Talented. And white. Can't forget white. And thin. Never forget thin. So why would it ever be me? Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe's a maybe. And a Skrillex is a Skrillex. And Sonny's a Sonny. So-- So, Billie Ellish. My Future. See you in a couple years. Its chasing a wild goose. It's chasing monsters and sprites. It's chasing, but only if you're running. Run, Sunni-- Run Sonny-- Run. This goes around in circles. Goes around like seagulls in the sky. Getter. What did getter do? What did Skrillex do? What does Dillon Francis Have to do with anything? Nothing. Jimmy Fallon --was never nothing-- What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? Still don't know. What about Pasqualle? Still don't know. And Skrillex? Fuck--I really don't know. Don't you? Alright. What do you know? Commonalities. And? Patterns. And…? Red Cups, Beer Bottles, and Pop-Tarts. What's it look like? A shallow pool of hard liquor. So? So, they can afford alcoholism. You see it that way? I don't see. Don't you? That's the same question twice. It's the same question, infinitely. Who are you? Who am I? Exactly. What's your DJ name? Depends on the day. What's your name, now? I'm Sunni. To replace Sonny? Nothing replaces that. What's in the music? An algorithm--a hidden code, maybe? Maybe. Maybe's still a maybe.[ What are they looking for? A savior? Now you've given yourself a God Complex. As if the world already hadn't. The world had, I just refused to accept it. Until? Until everything. At once, right? And nothing. Why does Annie keep coming up? You must be on her mind. I'm dead to her. Who? Exactly. She thinks you'll make up. Please. She's latna and native. And an alcoholic. So. So she's perfect. So she is. I'm not forgiving her. Again. Maybe you don't have to. If the DJs want her, they can have her. She's a perfect storm of a hoe. Hoes are fun. Until they're not. What are you? A ghost. Why does she keep coming up? I don't know. I've had two dreams about her. She misses you. I could give a fuck. You could? IDGAFOS. Happy Birthday, Dillon Francis. But you won't tell him. His fandom will. I'm done inboxing people. These people live on beaches; I'm a grain of sand. So go find your beach. Viva Mexico. Probably so, huh? Probably. Left in a world without people, realizing she is completely alone, Punishment be ones Paradise, as she enjoys all her favorite places, without the pollution, population or politics in her way. The happiest she's ever been, she approaches EMPTY EDC, still perfectly intact with the gates wide open. She runs inside,losing her mind-- and then losing her enthusiasm entirely, realizing she cannot dance in silence, or operate any of the rides by herself (which, in one dimension higher, she uses the power of the mind to start manifesting all the things she needs,creating a perfect EDC) however, in the most limited dimension, where even manifestation can be fathomed, and no use of magic, she sadly strolls through the empty carnival--though, having found solace in the typically overpriced fashion and merchandice apparel, has ransacked the empty and abandoned shops, looking ridiculously ravey, looking like a 3D insomniac billboard, sparkling with Kandi and shining flashing lights. She approaches the front and center of the rail, her usual favorite, as she looks up at the decks of The BassPod. She just looks, as she sips an acai berry smoothie out of a collectible cup. Cree: You look like a fucked up cupcake. SupaCree: You look like a fucked up cupcake, ate a fucked up cupcake, and then put on a sweater. Cree: Hey man. Fat is Fat. I'm in Infinite Eternity: INFINITE EDC, BITCH. SupaCree: Oh yeah? You like being the fattest fat ass dancing fatass at the everlasting motherfucking fatty fattass fat... dance... Cree: Hmmyeahh--Hows it feel being the lastest-fast-having-last past life past-afterlife--flattest -ass-last-fan-of-DillonFrancis-random-dancing-at-the-lostest-awful-rotten-sauced-forgotten-boss-of-not-a-lot-of-bought-a-bag of -frazzled-skrillex-dicks-you-wish-you-licked-but-didnt-cause-they-wouldnt let you in the the artist tent if you farted in it, in -different-dimensions you were in INFINITE but now you're ISNT-ISNT-ISNT IS THE CLOSEST cause you're not a fucking DJ BITCH, YOURE JUST A WISHIN WASHED UP WISHING WELL YOU'RE STILL FAT!! PPL ALTER EGO I wanna look like her! —oh, that's a guy —well, still. For I am just a shadow of what I once was; And all of a fraction of what I would become, Were it not for love There you are. There I was. Oh, my God. How long was I gone? Long. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Oh shit, that sounds F.U.N… FUN!? FUCK YOU, NIGGA! Oh good, the Dolphin On Wheels is here. "THIS. IS. OWSLAAAAAAA" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Serious as a Dillon Francis Bampheramph. What even IS that? You're looking at it. ________ NO PANTS! what?! (Takes off pants) HEY! NO PANTS, Dillon Francis! Have a banana. I don't wanna banana! I want pants! NO PANTS. gimmie your hat. (Leaves) It is. An Element. Can... I base... my survival solely on elements--is--the question. That is, actually--as it stands, what we were intended to do--I suppose. Elements. Alchemy. Alchemists. Ahhhh. Those. Ahhh. D-- Hmmm. Mmm. Okay. This is gonna take a long time to work out. What doesssss--- ...Hello… Aha-ahaha... ...What does Dillon Francis have to do with this? I don't know. *laughing in 4 different dimensions* I know, right? *snickers* Well, that's another drop in the Fuck-It Bucket Not that Bucket. [honks] Ahe, Hehehe I didn't-- Actually, I did know that-- I did know that-- I did know that I had two Fuck-It Buckets. I had forgotten... about all the buckets. Just like I almost about the Hellavator. How is that going, by the way. Oh what--the Hellevator--or the Party on the Hellevator? Or the scene...where Hanzel's on the...Hellevator with Dillon Francis? I-- *reacts in 4 different dimensions* Oh, wow. I know! It's gonna take forever. Forever's almost nothing compared to an eternity. Yeah--forever is almost nothing, compared to an eternity. *smacks lips* And then that, motherfucker… FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck that motherfucker. *sirens sounding* YEP. *blasting magic* Yep. ...yep. This is why we don't need a wand, anymore--because--you see that? Yep. Well, -- you don't see it, Well I mean, that's just part of the joy--you just know. You don't have to see it, you just know. Oh, you mean like... [mimicks ******** ] ..Kinda like that… But…??? Gonna Hit that red dot and never stop What's that--the 4th dimension? Ah, the 4th dimension. The “r” word Yeah, yeah, yeah Like political correctness even matters. The only thing that matters is matter And why have I never been for a Joyride? Last thing I remember, I was having the time of my life... [rifling through things, as Dillon sits down at his desk—he puts on a pair of librarian-like frames, adjusting them to fit at the nose] You don't wear glasses. Uh, I do wear glasses, I am wearing glasses. I just never—you know—thought of you, like— Yeah, well—not all of us are known by our trademark frames. I detect a hint of bitterness. Oh, you can detect that? What device do you have that does that? …...my...senses. Heh, you look like Katey Sagal. I love her. Same. [rifling through papers, doing office things] What's taking so long, Peg? Well, Al, if you must know it's going to take me a minute to get into my ‘Skrillex', it's been awhile. How long's awhile. Hey—you came through my panoramic window demanding Skrillex. Tsh, like it's never happened before. (Or like it's always, never happening) What? Hey—who said that? So how long's this gonna take? I'm gonna need you to exercise patience—that is, if you're familiar with excersise. PATIENCE?! What the fuck is Patience?? Are you done yet? Patience—patience—it's like—it's almost like “patients, like what a doctor has— —oh don't even— *hands up* Not gonna even. … … … Did you— I told you it has been a minute. >>>< >>>>>>> >>>>< What kind of company do you think I keep?! In this installment, which follows Scary Monsters and SupaCree and crosses over into both DILLONCEPTION, and enter the multiverse. Having nearly abandoning the ideal of becoming a superstar DJ, a reality she had previously become certain of, but given up on after being led to believe the DJ world is one ruled by white supremacy, SUPACREE, going by “CC” and operating under the pen name CC stone crafts a somewhat plausible future in entertainment, still creating music under the moniker “Sunni Blu” or DJ U, still passionately attached to Djing, though as a hobby, rather than as a potential career. In a pseudo-suicidal depressive state, our protagonist explores all the infinite realms of her own creation, drifting into a lucid God-Dream in which all the dimensions of her writings exist, in each respective reality, sometimes crossing timelines from one “fictional” realm into another, as the writer struggles with her own self-confidence and self-actualization. We Open With A Blockbuster-Style Movie Trailer. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- CUT TO: Sunni Blu is writing a Movie. —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. ___ Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. Jesus is watching “The Movie” So you swim into a port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what's the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They...don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. [Skrillex ]is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have [Skrillex.} Skrillex. How did you get a [Skrillex?] Just--[Skrillex.] “Just [Skrillex”?] The Original. Oh, shit. The Original [Skrillex.] Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] Oh what--[Skrillex?] We have [Skrillex!] You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's [Skrillex], isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eight Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? [Over the phone] ...She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing [Skrillex?] He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Black Jack. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no [Skrillex.] PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that [Skrillex?] Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. [Skrillex] has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in [Skrillex.] YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhile. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited [Skrillex.] Limited [Skrillex.] Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo and Wanda are on their way to The Event Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? [Skrillex!] He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! [Skrillex?!] Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! __ Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? SUPACREE I don't know. I can't remember. MORGAN You “don't remember.” DILLON'S ASSISTANT What did you do with that bitch?! DILLON FRANCIS I don't know! I don't remember! DILLON'S ASSISTANT You “don't remember?” [Noone remembers.] Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! ___ SUPACREE Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) JOEL/DEADMAU5 Thanks. SUPACREE You're welcome. JOEL/DEADMAU5 K. SUPACREE So. BOTH YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] JOEL/DEADMAU5 WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SUPACREE I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] JOEL/DEADMAU5 (he opens the box, unseen from the view of the audience) Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. SUPACREE I know dude. JOEL/DEADMAU5 UH-WHO ARE YOU? SUPACREE I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] ___ Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. PRINCE: I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. PRINCE: I'M NOT A MAN. “is [_____________]” a boy or girl PRINCE: I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. DILLON FRANCIS Oh, Jesus Christ. JESUS CHRIST What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? DILLON FRANCIS Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? JESUS CHRIST If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... DILLON FRANCIS (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… JESUS CHRIST Hm? … Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? … *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] GERALD WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! SUPACREE Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! DILLON FRANCIS WHAT HAVE I DONE!? GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? CHAK CHEL Dillon--What have you done. SUPACREE WHAT--DID YOU--DO. DILLON FRANCIS Just...Voodoo. GOD VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) ___ Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? [-creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered.] What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? >RAVE> --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” THE BEATLES Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. ___ MORGAN Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) PAGE You'd never know. SUPACREE ...I knew it... MORGAN What did you do with it? SUPACREE I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. MORGAN Oh, wow. SUPACREE Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. MORGAN That's--wow. PAGE Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. MORGAN You're right. SUPACREE I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [SKRILLEX in shorts.] (She cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. [Skrillex] is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- –right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- __ What is this. __ --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? ___ SIR. SKRILLEX STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? ___ I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? [Skrillex] is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see [Skrillex] last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. ___ I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. Look,This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also, other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. CHINESE WOMAN --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. [pause] I know how to get her here. ___ DUDE ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? SKRILLEX/SUPACREE Look, it's a long story. DUDE Well make it a short one. SKRILLEX/SUPACREE *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. SKRILLEX/SUPACREE So I….dropped the bass, and then… CHINESE WOMAN AND DEN? DUDE —And then? SKRILLEX/SUPACREE And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- DUDE --sideways and forward, at the same time-- SKRILLEX/SUPACREE >>>Yes. It was a lot. ___ Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ To her surprise, some big-time hollywood producers have taken an interest in her script,; Because she has no formal work experience in the industry, she is being “coached” by seasoned industry professionals as the Film Goes into Pre-Production Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with [Skrillex.] [...Skrillex?] What [Skrillex?] It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no [Skrillex.] He is introduced as a character in Act... No, [Skrillex ]isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… [C.C. (a.k.a. ‘Stone' omits page 45 from all of her written works.] “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me s

america god love jesus christ music american time death live movies father power google earth apple mother rock pr moving water space hell online reality deep nature thinking food dj girl tips fun dance left gardens drop forever dad satan darkness event jewish dead weird gods 3d original grammy poor hotels stage iran divine nazis hearts run stone stuck beyonce ufos hamilton hits wars act paradise happy birthday tickets monkeys michael jackson crash throw prophet gotta lol souls plays vip b2b invasion fuck window guys jail sleeping powers retreat imagination lower wtf patterns elements twelve halo opens bet ascension i am tennis squad pi explain prophets punishment bitch roller coasters infinite mormon greed contracts careful jumping void sol ev djs fat walks trains pages sauce nah element mad alchemy billie eilish flashback surprised permanent bucket perform tenet destroyed ridiculous turnaround helicopters alchemists spiders socks bro ve trance spongebob squarepants met gala splash djing sends aha rick and morty baldwin cc voodoo heavens mm rave skinny sir underworld dimensions pornhub uncertain takes jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo int welp morty dang hmmm prostitution eco santa clause shoots lit umbrella gel staring hm charlie sheen tying avicii sticks and stones pop tarts hoes ran guardian angels ethos tits skrillex edc insomniacs s p joyride oh god yuck mmm bruh zooming permanently method man se7en oh my god for free whatcha capone valet deadmau5 colosseum music production spirit world stunned three times goddamn love it stfu lalo flip flops sunni father time mainstage class action did you know ahem frantic fucked up i won pasquale ascended masters sweetie commonalities hehe dan harmon expansions kandi neva og h in god we trust dillon francis tsh motherfuckers yas hardstyle never again hah christian nation chel awww aww r u ok exaggerated ext mind blown heh crypt keeper fuck you unh god complex binoculars no pants inhabitants getter volts on time three people uhh aight yeah right pft alternately deadass hot hot scary monsters hailey baldwin sampled psh mmhmm agh jesus it three cities viva mexico katey sagal rezz free water it does yuh what the fuck yesh space wars hahah are you happy god dream my future bigwig beckys oh good northern america hanzel worldbuilders admit it heeeeey owsla yeahhhhh fvck uhhhhhh red cups thedarkside hellevator first of all ahe matt maeson gretl sweet brown drop the bass apple radio and nothing source light nyo nice sprites allison wonderland awwwwwwww to where
Toya Talks
London Boys

Toya Talks

Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2022 82:31


London Boys applies to those who think it's acceptable to be debating who pays for dates and think they should piggyback on the hard work and sacrifice of women who are building. Such limiting and elementary thinking is relative to the limited dating pool in London. Ladies, it is time to pivot and consider international dating. Open up the location and widen your dating pool.The only way you can consider your dating options is to consider your dating pool you need to diversify and expand your options which also includes considering dating outside of the UK. In this episode, we also discuss women who sacrifice their careers, hard work, and business for a relationship or for a man. You can have your own thing without needing to have a man jump on what you have. Remaining independent from a man or relationship is healthy it creates respect, boundaries, and independence. This should be celebrated. Male fragility is loaded with ego and patriarchy. Women often trade in what they have built for a man/relationship disguised as love, when in fact it's a co-dependency rooted in low self-esteem and lack of respect for the sacrifices you have made to build yourself up.  Black  Women Work twice as hard and navigate work and careers uniquely from our non-Black and white counterparts we know the racist and oppressive structures we as women exist in and navigate through therefore why do some of us forget this in pursuit of love?  Why must love come with the sacrificing of self?  Whilst on the topic we also discuss SteffLonDon and Burna Boy and other celebrities eg Mary J Blige who blurred the lines between work/business and relationships.Email me:  hello@toyatalks.com    Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast)    Snapchat: @toyawashington    Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks   YouTube: At Home With Toya https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXlRNLSYLuA9GbPB8cUYvQ  www.toyatalks.com https://toyatalks.com/

First of All
#171 - Exploring The Law of Attraction and Manifestation with Roxy Shih (Two Horny Goats Podcast)

First of All

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 106:25


We're back with SEASON 3 fam! To kick off this third installment of First Of All, we set intentions to bring good vibes and deeply personal insights on some long-awaited topics. So we're starting by going all in on vibrations, frequencies, manifesting, and the law of attraction. In this episode, Minji brings back the hilarious and wise filmmaker and co-host of Two Horny Goats Podcast, Roxy Shih. Together they share their backgrounds of what led them to their respective spiritual journeys, one involving moving out of a devout religious Christian upbringing and the other coming straight from real life practical examples from their sage immigrant parents. They break down their philosophies and real life application of the law of attraction, and how they continue learning about how mindset, beliefs, energies, emotions, and even quantum physics result into some pretty profound experiences. They also get into some common "woo woo" misconceptions as well as bigger concepts of timing, energies, tarot, and channeling. This episode sets a reminder that life is a perpetual journey of growth, and we can continuously clear out the old to make for the new and good by aligning our mind, body, and spirit.Links: https://www.instagram.com/roxyshih/https://www.roxyshih.com/https://www.twohornygoats.com/Follow Minji On:Twitter (@minjeeeezy)Instagram (@minjeezy)Clubhouse (@MinjiChang)▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan and “Lonely Star” by Priska▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast CollectiveProduced by @marvinyueh & @AnnaSunSupported by @JulianaDeer

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

I guess it just is what it is, then Comin fresh out the whip, like, “I'm off hiatus” Gonna jump for a swim in the ‘bitch,' Itchin drive me crazy; Gonna need 6-10 stitches, the doctor say He's in big business, with the witch Tengris– Gotta play Tennis while I watch Tenet all in ten minutes (On my small engine/indjun) Turn around do a spin, drift like i'm Ben Ten, And it's intense, like I been campin, –Then I ditched Skrillex. Just moved in, but it's been lived in Set some new intentions, Get bent, got some new addictions, spin zen, got some new additions Big Wig like I'm Hamilton in some New Editions Did some big mentions, I should send dick pics. Watch this. “It's Dillon Francis” Now I'm real famous, But i'm still nameless– I just made the game up, Still got jealous haters *coughs* I should say Gel-ous Cause she got her nails did *indjun; American slang for native or indigenous peoples of Northern America. [THE FESTIVAL PROJECT.] _________ [Three cross dimensions are about to collide into a singular reality. Three hospital rooms, three ensembles, three patients on their deathbeds;] Three Cities, Three Main Stages At Three Major Music Festivals. Three superstar DJs at the decks. Did we make it? Is it too late? Is she gone? Where is she? Are you serious? We're never gonna make it. NO! 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? 3 dimensions: Wait, what happened? "Are you okay?" This isn't happening. Do we have time? Never say Never. -We'll never make it -Don't say that! Are you ready? Yo, where IS she? He's like, crazy or something. She's crazy. This is craaaaazy. Ok, first of all-- Go! Go! Go, now! -So, she already told you beforehand? -Yes. NO! YES! YAAAAAAS. All dimensions: No/NO NO, OH GOD NO-- "YES, OH MY GOD" (sampled) (What?) "JESUS." (Sampled from, Coffee Run) (What?) Don't-- What are you doing here? (Angrily) Ū!!!! It's YOU! A group dancing to Soulja Boy (Youuuuuuuu!) (Rollercoaster sample from Scatta) I don't know, he's been, you know-- -Did you know? -No… -DID YOU KNOW? Know what? What? What is what? (From Deathbed) ...Water… Surprised reactions, at the bedside -Run! -How much time do we have? -Take all the time you need. Time...Ah, yes, I--yes, I remember Time... She says it all the time, I didn't think she'd actually– He's gone. She died, right? ------------ "Running Out Of Time" [Frazzled and haggardly beaten, having exhausted everything attempting to unravel an endless web of timelines tied together ultimately by inevitability, he frantically rifles through his apartment, tearing through every corner, fiending for any energy source. He uplifts the couch cushions, tossing away various (insert easter eggs here) objects, empty portal guns, as the vibrations from a buzzing phone alert him of an incoming call, he fishes armpit deep into the crevices, red faced and cracked lips, cursing: --c'mon, c'mon--how did this get so fucking DEEP. God DAMN IT-- ------ By Chak Chel's bedside, The Ascended Masters are gathered surrounding a weak and lifeless GOD/Chak Chel in her absolutely oldest physical body. Oh man, I don't think she can handle many more of these Damnations, it's just more and more damage… I told you we should have Destroyed that damn planet! She created that planet-- It's not about the planet, it's the inhabitants. If we annihilate humanity now, the planet itself may regenerate with time… Time…? I-- They all turn their heads toward Chak Chel, as she drifts back out of consciousness. PAUSE *EDIT* What? Just– What!? What would it be like to listen to some Skrillex right now? NO. NEVER AGAIN. [Thinking, drifts away.] *listening to deadmau5, thinking about Skrillex* Hmnnn. Moar Ghosts N' Stuff. *Synth Drops In* Nope, I'm Good lol. CUT TO: I told you I could be Joel's cat. Oh, wow, nice. JOEL NO, MEOWINGTONS, NYO !!!!!!!! Meheh. UNPAUSE CUT BACK TO: She's so lost to time... If she succumbs under this darkness, it could be eons before The Light is restored. It may never be. INSOLENT CREATURES! Perhaps we should prepare for invasion. Invasion? They are primitive beings, barely reached the outer realms of consciousness-- We'd be waging an all-out war, on an intergalactic scale; the magnitude of this could ripple through --infinite-- --infinite dimensions-- This is everything. Everything is Everything. Pft. Yeah--until it's nothing-- Oh, yeah--just add to the amount of negative energy-- might as Well just push her into The Void. I'll push you into The Void. Nothing I haven't been through. Yeah, dude, we've all been through The Void. ...I am The Void... I was at THE ASCENSION! Where were you?? (They argue loudly.) [The Crypt Keeper Lurks Silently in the corner.] Guys. [The room is in upheaval, an outroar of arguments have erupted amongst the Gods, the Ascended Masters and other chosen leaders from each realm throughout the multiverse. ] ...Shhht, quiet... [The Crypt Keeper slowly lifts up her staff, in slow motion ] (SUPACREE shakes her head at the crypt keeper, gesturing "no, don't" ) Guys. [As the crypt keeper lowers her staff, SupaCree begins to emit a shining white light.] GUYS! THE CRYPT KEEPER CHARGES HER STAFF INTO THE GROUND, SHAKING THE WORLD WITH A THUNDEROUS FORCE, THREE TIMES. The fabric of the entire multiverse begins to shatter. The room cowers in fear and uncertainty. CHAK CHEL (very weakly) Where's Dillon…he...he should be back by now… Wait, Dillon- Dillon WHO!? Dillon Francis? Wait--what? Dillon Francis, are you serious? Oh, God-- --Shh-- Sorry, I just--seriously--? Dillon Francis. It's always Dillon Francis. Tell me about it, Jesus Christ-- --SHH--!! It's fine, I put the light inside of that one. What light? You put the Divine light of The Source inside of that guy? I'm not a--wait--what light? What's a "Dillon Francis?" We had to hide it. CHAK CHEL Dillon? ...he...he should be here by now,-- I--I have to give him more time… Wow, Dillon Fucking--the whole time– (Tying into the dimension where SupaCree has just divulged that her favorite DJ is Dillon Francis.) That's her apprentice? What! Explains how he's always everywhere, I guess-- Except here. --yeah, where IS he anyway? Yeah, I mean--he should have been here awhile ago. What the fuck does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? I mean really. [The Gods have quietly moved into a secret chamber, hidden from the rest of the–] WHAT THE FUCK. WHO did this? We had to act quickly-- It was a unified decision; DECISION BY WHO? [They fall quiet.] WHOSE idea was it to hide the Divine light of the source within this--this--imperfect and flawed excuse for a body? What genetic catastrophe allowed for this creature to have been created? Her genetic code is what allowed us to be able to-- --THE GODS ARE CREATED IN OUR IMAGE! WHAT TAINTED IMAGE IS THIS? ITS AS IF SATAN CREATED IT, IF SATAN COULD-- ...Satan Sealed The Shield... [The Gods all react in surprise and horror.] ...What… WHAT? You entrusted SATAN with the encryption of The– Not me. Chak Chel. WHAT? ...what? Why would...why would… Why would she trade her immortality for– She sacrificed her connection to The Source? What for? She would sacrifice anything to save humanity from extinction. She...loves that planet, and its inhabitants. She believed in the overall good of humankind, that they could one day come to know Love. To Be Love. She was created and designed specifically to be the embodiment of life and light itself-- The Prophecy (III) [THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled, the ensemble shieled by an ‘inpenatrable' invisible forcefield; SUPACREE senses the energy field, Which she walks into, nonchalantly.] She has awakened her consciousness far more quickly than was ever expected-- The Origins Once we send her back, she will have been three times resurrected from Death. How is she to bring these...this planet so drowned in darkness into the light? She can. She will. She has. There have been innumerous witnesses to the manifestations and miracles the power of the light has given her. And she's yet to use the entirety of the Source power to its full potential. Still, these instances of power manifestation have left a shockwave amidst many, even the Prophets, as foretold have discussed a solidified following amongst the alchemists, sorcerer-- --even mortals who have come to practice in the occult sciences-- She has believers. (Uhh...I think it's a cult. What's a cult?) In the dimension where the world has succumb to darkness-- -The Mormons!? -Oh, really? Hm. -Jesus. [Enter Mormon Jesus] In the same reality, Which SUPACREE has been trapped in for nearly a eternity in entirety now, she sits drenched in sweat inside her car, as onlookers from the surrounding affluent neighborhood peer into the vehicle with disgust; she looks much like a crackhead talking to herself; however, Jesus, Neva, Se7en and Goldie's anamorphosis personifications by The Guardian Angels accompany her, Avicii, also omnipresent, but unable to be seen or heard in the material reality, even between The Spirit World, which SUPACREE has journeyed deeply into, in search of Chak Chel--who has consistently been leaving hints in Nature, guiding her eventually into "God" (A Long Drive, With You, Friends) A very Jewish woman sneers, glaring at SUPACREE through the window. Telepathically, very loud and disapproving of here mere presense. (CONT'D) … She just doesn't believe in herself. The Darkness has been working to weaken the potential of The Light for quite some time now. There is an evil in the power of man, darkness in the consumption of currency-- --she's been targeted by her own country as an enemy, which the world powers see as a threat-- --her, a threat--? --she had political ambitions. These men wage war over currency, the hypocrisy of religion. America. She has the ability to be one of the most powerful leaders in human history. She acts instinctively in Love. A target? Her world has been long lost from love, succumbed to the darkness, the primitive error of man. Greed. She has overcome more alienation, more life altering loss of light in just this lifetime than can And, has been raised by the shepherds and priests in the teachings of the great kingdom. She brings herself to Death in despair and sadness. She cannot live with the power of The Source Light in the loss of Love; the pain becomes too great. And now? She's been bestowed by the ancients the wisdom of her true origins. So she knows… She knows that in the absence of Love, there is no Life left to light. Love is the thing that weaves together the fabric of space and time. Reality Is… AH, JESUS CHRIST! SUPACREE appears behind DILLON FRANCIS in the doorway silently. The Bampheramph Line rings, he hopes it is Hanzel--it is Chak Chel--he rolls his eyes, tossing his phone to the side You should probably answer that. DILLON FRANCIS You should probably shut the fuck up, how about that? SUPACREE Relax. I need you to listen to me--remember that thing-- DILLON FRANCIS Which THING? EVERYTHING? Like EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING? Like that!? Huh! SUPACREE ...yes, it's that exactly, actually. DILLON FRANCIS. "Exactly, actually--actually," SUPACREE appears in full form, out of the translucency of the higher realms and into the personification of the third dimensional realm. SUPACREE Come on, dude, we don't have time for this! DILLON FRANCIS Time? What the fuck is time? SUPACREE Come on, Dillon, we really don't have time for this, I'll explain it-- DILLON FRANCIS Explain it when? When you have time? [He turns to see her, standing in the doorway; A simple plain white T shirt and blue jeans.] (gh0st.) SUPACREE I'm trying to tell you, dude. It's time. DILLON FRANCIS Wait, why do you look--wait, which dimension is--whats different about--wait (Sampled "Wait", at the crosswalk) sneakers launch from the sidewalk and into the busy intersection, in a sprint. "Two genres: Hardstyle, and Country." "I don't know what the 3rd world war will be fought with, but the 4th will be with sticks and stones." This begins the battle against "good" and "evil", " darkness" and "light", "life" and "death"--but as the Source, Gods and Ascended Masters all know, that all are one in the same--that these concepts only exist within a primitive human psyche. The collective consciousness of "hybrids", hyper-intellectual "human" individuals with extraterrestrial origins and ancient ancestors, predating the human era (which some distant--even technologically-- advanced beings amongst intelligent civilizations throughout the cosmos infinite galaxies ever expanding throughout the outer realms of the multiverse, all of consciousness "And there is no "all", because infinite means that it has yet to end." *Moving sand (the universe) into a giant space dump truck/space dump.* ...is that all of it? SŪPA and SKRILLEX, after both having been involuntarily flung "around" an infinitely expanding universe, are finally head to head after hunting each other in realms beyond time and space for literal eternities; The peak of their confused fury comes to a face-to-face blowout, to which the likes the Heavens nor the Underworld ever have seen. In dimensions where people are tuning in on multi/interdimensional cable, the audience is glued to their seats. (People in rural areas are going through obscene and ridiculous lengths to get a signal so that they can tune in. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: RICK AND MORTY MORTY Ohhh, oh shit Rick! I-its that show, with the--uhh, uhhh... RICK Which 'uhh-uhhs', Morty--the big ones, or the little ones? MORTY Uhhh–'Flying Magic DJ Monkey Unicorn Space...Wars...I think. RICK Oh, you mean ‘Space Rave? You mean like, where they're at a rave *belch* in-in-in Space? Or something like that? MORTY No, it's Monkey Flying Magic DJ...Monkey… RICK --You said "monkey" twice-- MORTY (CONT'D) ...Space Wars… RICK I don't know, Morty--last time I allowed myself to participate in a music festival, it got, uh, *coughs* It got pretty deep. Flashback: DILLON PICKLE FRANCIS// PICKLE RICK Flashback Within Flashback :The Hellavator Flashback within Flashback Within Flashback: SŪPA dropping the bass, eliminating RIck and Morty/justin roiland (and Dan Harmon, I guess) from existence in entirety. RICK ...yeah, I uhh. Let-uh-let me see that. [He takes the remote control from morty, switching between the channels. They are all SupaTV original series, eventually skipping past 'Ricky and Mo', an over stereotypically alternate Rick and Morty, where the characters are black. (And features an animated Ricky (from Run Ricky Run) as its main character. RICK [w/MORTY] What the-- MORTY Go back, Rick! Everybody's favorite DJ is about to battle her favorite DJ. RICK --who, what? H-h-holdon-- MORTY, rushing over to the television, hurriedly switches the channel back manually to its original channel, from a dimension where the drama has been documented as a melodramatic soap opera meets gameshow. ANNOUNCER [W/MORTY] DUEL! RICK Duel the wha--oh my God, what is she doing with that chicken wing--? Ū! RICK This is just, brutal-- MORTY That was just a highlight. The boss fight is live. RICK Boss fight... Live--wait a minute--i know that lady! F I G H T. [HANZEL and GRETL are, of course, selling scalped tickets and portal guns to fans who have been following along as the series progresses, They play a 'Deep Deep Deep Bass House' HANZEL (it's a new genre) B2B set, which emits a magical low frequency bass, opening teleportals which immediately transport attendees into the Colosseum, where a furious SONNY/SKRILLEX and a rage-fueled SŪP∆CREE have "randomly" (actually, the result of a carefully planned (and in some dimensions/worlds, failed series of coordinated efforts from various sides, creating wormholes, time gaps, opening (and/or closing) portals with certain intentions, and creating "coincidences" between their two worlds which ultimately expand or collapse the respective universes within the multiverse at their centers. [The festival is in full swing; Behind the scenes, our beloved DJs ready themselves accordingly. ] Everybody's there. (Also, this is where "Everyone's a DJ now" gets really out of control.) *spoiler alert* DJ battle underway. This is the all-out cage match of magic music ninja All the Rave Weaponry. All the Jesus. Everything. The calm before the storm: The theatre and excitement of the largest scale highest production quality and rave culture values ever known to man (or otherwise). A living, breathing ECO system which expands outward, the Colosseum at it's center, where sparkles with the decadence of the Mainstage. Unassumingly, strolling along stage right SKRILLEX sips on a refreshing beverage--surrounded by his entourage and bodyguard, as per the usual. Stage left, SŪPA and her #squad are big chillin', eating lollipops, ice cream cones, popsicles, and cupcakes… super classy. *supaclassy. DILLON FRANCIS lurks nervously in the background. (He's in the background of every scene, in different clothing, Bampheramphing hectically and sweating bullets. *probably on something. In some cut scenes he is in SŪPA's entourage, in drag--eating a taco, or hot wing rather than candy. He is still being flung around the infinite multiverse, both with purpose and intention for each "side", and has become something of a omni-agent, completing tasks within the multiverse for almost every force imaginable (and yet to be imagined, infinitely forever after.) SŪP∆, after being transported through a multilayered wormhole, threaded across the Insomniac (and live nation) festivals and concerts she's attended throughout the years and dimensions. Uncertain of which actual realm and dimension she's ended up in, (obviously, one where her SŪP∆ Brand has become a success, realizing her dreams of becoming a "superstar DJ") without the panel, she must summon her forceful energy and light magic by combining her natural intuitive powers and ancient knowledge insight. She performs various tests within her current reality, as she 'attempts' to recover and pull herself back together, having been only just moments ago cosmically annihilated for a series of infinite eternities, whilst looking for Skrillex. Luckily, she still possesses the Golden Flash drive. It is the final of her array of rave weapons, and by far most powerful. Skrillex is Skrillex. They lock eyes from across the stage. An explosion. -blam- (MIND = BLOWN.) (((throughout the dimensions))) AAARE YOU READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEE TV VIEWERS: nervous/excited/scared/happy/sad MORTY Oh, shit! It's on! It's on! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HE SEEN HER! HE SEEN HER! *tribal dancing*/chanting* DILLON FRANCIS from center Sees SŪP∆CREE seeing SKRILLEX, squinting in confisiouson (when you think so hard, you momentarily turn into confucius.) She's mad. DILLON FRANCIS Oh--NOOO. He snaps his neck in the opposite direction, to see SKRILLEX seeing SŪP∆CREE, squinting Skrillex-y. (That's extra, extra hard.) He's mad. DILLON FRANCIS OH GOD, NO! He morphs into DILLON GLANCES and DILLON FLANCES, respectively. (3) Wtf is this like a fucked up shadow-clone juitsu? Just– DILLON FRANCIS (To Dillon Glances: giving him the Golden Flash drive) I have to--I gotta--just take th- DILLON GLANCES I can't. DILLON FRANCIS You CAN. DILLON GLANCES I can't. I'm not a DJ. DILLON FRANCIS Everyone's a fucking DJ, DO IT. DILLOn GLANCES Jesus. DILLON FRANCIS: JUST DO IT. [They run off in three seperate directions: DILLON FRANCIS runs to center stage, attempting to prevent the all out massacre of DJ dueling about to take place…] DILLON FLANCES runs into the festival's huge and quickly growing-crowd, as people literally appear out of various portals and wormholes from all over the multiverse. crowds of party goers, exiting them, attempting to open portals to evacuate them to a less fragile timeline. DILLON GLANCES, who is–in fact– not a DJ, a Bampheramph, or time traveler of any sort.. (by any purposeful means, anyway. He " just kind of gets "sucked in to this shit") —eventually crowning him as an Honorary Bampheramph (which people hate, because it's still an extension of Dillon Francis.) —-posing as Dillon Frances, steps up to the decks SKRILLEX and SŪP∆ charge towards each other furiously-- Nobody knows what to do. As they draw closer to each other, radiating in fury and anger, they each explode. SŪP∆: YOÜ. SKRILLEX: YOŪ. They charge forward. BOTH: AHHHHHHHH!!!! An energy field opens; invisible energies take on color and shape in the outer worlds. Reality shifts. yelling. BOTH: WHERES MY MUSIC? BOTH: YOUR MUSIC?! BOTH: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! SKRILLEX: No, who the fuck are youuu! SŪP∆: NO, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? (Simultaneously, to stage managers) SŪP∆: what is HE doing here? SKRILLEX: what is SHE doing here? BOTH: I'M ON THE LINEUP. SŪP∆: Of Course you're on the lineup. SKRILLEX Oh please, How did YOU get on the lineup? DILLON FRANCIS *Appearing out of seemingly nowhere, very out of breath and almost dead, still bleeding from open heart surgery through his shirt, face covered in hot wing sauce* Let me explain… BOTH: DILLON FRANCIS?!? BAMPHERAMPHS: ((From across the stage, viewing with Binoculars.)) …Dillon Francis? —Dillon Francis? What is he doing here? –Ugh, Seriously. Dillon Francis Again? DJ RICH AS FUCK Yo, Fuck Dillon Francis. DILLON FRANCIS Yeah, fuck Dillon Francis. … ...Aren't you Dillon Francis…? DILLON FRANCIS [Pointing at himself, on the stage. No, that's Dillon Francis. They turn to look back at the stage, DILLON FRANCIS vanishes. What the-- SUPACREE/SKRILLEX: (Now with anger directed towards Dillon) What are you doing here? DILLON FRANCIS: *Dazed and confused* Uh--I'm on the lineup. SŪP∆: How? SKRILLEX: Why? DILLON FRANCIS: Jesus Christ, I don't know, ok? Just please don't-- SŪP∆: Don't ‘WHAT Dillon Francis? blast this lil motherfucker out of every kind of fathomable existence with a billion giggatwats of NUCLEAR BASS? ! LIKE, THREE PEOPLE (at least) Giggatwats? DOC BROWN Gooodddamn. [GOD is going mad from all the goddamned goddamns. The Hellavator, hanging by not even a thread, has gone into its final stages of devastation and horror, as it nears taking its eternally damning plunge into the nearly infinite caverns of the underworld, Satan's domain of darkness.] Meanwhile, in multiple other dimensions: Have you seen the lineup? Are we going? We're going. We have to go. RAVEEEEE. Ohhhh shit. No. I'm not going. I have to go! Where are you guys going? PASQUALE: (flashback, daisy overalls.) You guys, where are we going? The brothers are looking through a futuristic digital catalogue of intergalactic raves throughout time and space. Yoooooo. What--you find something? Yoooooo. ...is it good? (Shows the lineup, obscured from view of the camera) FVCK. YAS. All the 'yas' SAUCE. All the sauce. Yo what planet is this even; what dimension is this in, like? Says, Earth. Earth?! No fucking way, earth doesn't have raves in any dimension I've ever heard of. [Coming in from other room.] Where doesn't have raves? Earth. Yo, what the fuck is "Earth." Bet you it's fake. Bet you it's not. Check on it. Google. Google Ūniverse is a holographic multidimensional map of their galaxy's known multiverse. They scroll through eons of galaxies, solar systems, planets, and stars the likes of which make our own galaxy, and our own sun appear to be nothing but specs of dust. Where is it? I don't see it anywhere. I told you it was fake. No. Keep going. Further. Keep going… Are you serious, where is this planet. Are you sure it's a planet? It's gotta be. Dude, there's nothing out here. Keep going. To what. This looks like a black hole ate a black whole. Something like that, what's that there? This puny galaxy? I don't think that's a galaxy. Oh, it is… They all tilt their heads, squinting. ...or.. was… They tilt their heads to the opposite side, squinting. ...or might be, someday. Or something. I don't know man, looks kinda fragile. 'Explore' "The Milkyway Galaxy" Ew. What is it? It's so dark. Well yeah, look at that tiny Sol. There's only...wait how many planets--? It's not much. I don't know man--you wanna go to a rave here? That's… (Shows the advertisement) Oh wow… Looks back at our galaxy, with a discerning consideration, then back at the ad, then back up at the "universe" I don't know man. That's way out there. Like...nowhere, actually. [Scrunched face of disapproval] "Earth." Come on guys. I mean-- (Plays promo) [EDC] DAMN. Aight. OKAY. Woooow. They all look back at the map, worriedly. Zooming in on earth. Mmkayyy. Hmmm. Yeah, this thing looks fragile. Yeah,look at that weird axis. (Wobbles) That can't last too long. This entire universe is on the verge of collapse. How did that...even...happen? The whole thing is like... All: huh. ...if we leave now, we can make it, gates open. Over 20 stages, live art, food-- --FOOD-- ...and...wait, that can't be right. This says "free water" WHAT? FREE WATER? OH WHAT. A RAVE SLASH INVASION? we don't have to invade if they're just giving it away FOR FREE. Free. Water. Psh. Water. It's a trap! Could be. Yeah, Free Water. ...it says...the almost the entire surface of this planet is what? What? That seems dangerous. It's almost entirely water, guys. That's impossible. CUT TO: I TOLD YOU. IN-FIN-ATE. Nothing is impossible. But I thought nothing was nothing. Nothing is nothing. It's also something. And everything. Which is also nothing. But I thought everything was everything. Yes, which includes, and simultaneously also excludes but certainly not limited to, nothing. But when does it end? It...it doesn't, it just (gestures)...infinite. you know? So it just...doesn't… Stop? Yeah. No. It just keeps-- Yeah. Going. --and then nothing. Which is something. Yeah, nothing's something. Then what's something. Something's a something-- Anything. Some-thing. Yeah, but 'some' is just 'some' thing, not everything. Yeah, everything--anything. Anything can be something, and something can be anything. Which-- Which means,nothing's nothing--something can be anything, and anything can be something; which is everything. And-- Nothing. --so-- Infinite. “Once Upon A Dillon Francis” Once Upon a Dillon Francis… AGH. No. Start over. Uh, ok. Once upon a Dillon Francis. Stop saying that. Yuck. Why are you saying that? What? Once Upon a Dillon Francis? That makes Dillon Francis sound like Father Time! Yaghh! Okay? You can't say that. Why? Because he isn't. He could be. But he's not. So? Just. Go back. Okay...Once Upon A Dillon Francis. (Groans) Ok. Stop it. This isn't working. Because you're not letting me even-- No story ever started with Once Upon A Dillon Francis. This one might! If it starts with Dillon Francis, where would it-- Imagination is the key to all creativity. You made that up. I'm making up the whole thing! What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything-- He doesn't. Just listen! I'm not listening to anything that starts with Dillon Francis. Well what would you rather me say, once upon a Skrillex? Now that's more like it! No, it's not. It's just unsettling. It is. You know what! Forget it. There's no story. What, because there's no Dillon Francis? Exactly. What? Because. Ï You... I don't know about this Just keep-- This makes me feel some kind of wha. What kind of way every kind of way-- wait. “Remember Ryan” I do remember Ryan “Fuck Dillon Francis” Rich Nigga Shit. And your shirt. So-- So?! Who the fuck is this guy? He's Dillon Francis. No, who the fuck is he?! Not who-- Huh? What. Whatthefuck-- What? WHAT? Hanzel (& Gretl) are originally from Hell or 'The Dark Side', this gives reasoning to their stoic and sometimes henius mannerisms. Halo by Beyonce is multidimensional (listen, study) This car needs some wheels is about loving yourself (and to learn how to love someone else) "The Skrillex" The Cosmic Owl Chak Chel's Family-- The brothers Bampheramphs --old people -&Sonny/old lady in the park dog walking Rick n roll--dillon pickle Francis/pickle rick roll) (rock n roll) will take you to the the mountain No boys allowed//no Skrillex allowed Wait here. Why can't I just come with you? No boys allowed. Can't you see the sign on the door? What sign on the door? She places a sign on the door. Wait here. But. 5 minutes. Walks in, shutting door behind her. But. Opens sliding window hatch on door, peeking out. I'll be right back. But. A note is shoved backwards through the mail slot, and floats down between his feet. He picks it up to read it; it is a blank sheet of paper. He deflates. Gleeful girly cheers and chatter, laughter and and upbeat music from the other side of the door; an obvious party starts inside. Hours pass, Sonny is falling asleep standing up. He hears 3 women approaching, and excitedly shakes himself awake. He stands to the side, posing. What's up! (They cannot hear or see him. he isn't yet aware of the forcefield placed around him, for his protection (as he is being hunted throughout the universe.) Girl: Dude, I can't believe you know Rezz. Hey! Girl 2: yeah that's sooo cool. Girl: Yeah, VIP. Is like-- Girl: Oh my God, I bet it's like so lit. Girl: So Lit. Girl: Oh my God, yeah. I'm definitely doing VIP next year. Girl: Definitely. Girl: So worth it. Girl: So like, what time does it start-start? Girl: ummm, I don't know, but I think we're like early. Early!? Girl: Should I--oh, hey--im getting a call. It's the other DJ, I think she's inside already. (It's Ū) Girl: Hello? What up Ū! Ū? Hey! Heeeeey! Girl: yeah, we're at the door. Ohhhh shit, for real? Ok. (hangs up) yeah, she said she'll be down here in like, 5 minutes. Apparently the music's bumping, they couldn't even hear us at the door. Psh. 5 minutes yeah right. Girl: daynmm. Girl: yeah, there's like 10 famous DJs in there in there right now. Look at this snapchat I got earlier. Daaaam. Lit. I heard there's gonna be more. Is that Allison Wonderland? Allison Wonderland opens the door. Hi Guys! No way! It is Allison Wonderland! Hey!! Come on in guys! Girl: (closest to Sonny, but walking towards the door) wait, did you guys hear that weird. Girl: kind of, not really Girl: yeah I don't really believe in ghosts, but sometimes-- By now, Sonny has noticed that he hasn't been seen or heard by anyone and assumes his likely invisibility. However Allison Wonderland, being a DJ, has the ability to see through this force field (unbeknownst to him that it even exists.) Sonny stands at the door, staring. She stares back expressionlessly, straight into his soul with indifference of his presence. A brief silence, before Sonny furroughs his brows. She just stares at him. ...wait, can you see me? ...No. She shuts the door. Jack and Jill I'm elessian park You left your sister where Doctors A-Z (doctor p's planet; boogie t distant relative) Scary OWSLA (1000 VOLTS, WESTWOOD) GIANT JOSH PANDA THE SOUL SALESMEN THE CIA/FBI/MEN IN BLACK DONT FUCK WITH TIME (IRL) FROZEN SKRILLEX FOREST FIRE (REZZ) Ralph, Wendy, Denny, Trader Joe Mr moto guy Tips>>>SKRILLEX I thought we were done writing these. I guess not. Get the fuck back, Dillon Francis. Woah, I--okay. JUST STEP BACK. That's a gun! It's a bayonet. That's...where did you even get something like that? I time travel. That...makes sense. It has to. Wenzday. She's pretty. Aren't they all. They are. Maybe her. Anyone but you, huh? How would it ever be me? Still don't believe? How could I ever believe. They're all perfect. And Talented. And white. Can't forget white. And thin. Never forget thin. So why would it ever be me? Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe's a maybe. And a Skrillex is a Skrillex. And Sonny's a Sonny. So-- So, Billie Ellish. My Future. See you in a couple years. Its chasing a wild goose. It's chasing monsters and sprites. It's chasing, but only if you're running. Run, Sunni-- Run Sonny-- Run. This goes around in circles. Goes around like seagulls in the sky. Getter. What did getter do? What did Skrillex do? What does Dillon Francis Have to do with anything? Nothing. Jimmy Fallon --was never nothing-- What does Dillon Francis have to do with anything? Still don't know. What about Pasqualle? Still don't know. And Skrillex? Fuck--I really don't know. Don't you? Alright. What do you know? Commonalities. And? Patterns. And…? Red Cups, Beer Bottles, and Pop-Tarts. What's it look like? A shallow pool of hard liquor. So? So, they can afford alcoholism. You see it that way? I don't see. Don't you? That's the same question twice. It's the same question, infinitely. Who are you? Who am I? Exactly. What's your DJ name? Depends on the day. What's your name, now? I'm Sunni. To replace Sonny? Nothing replaces that. What's in the music? An algorithm--a hidden code, maybe? Maybe. Maybe's still a maybe.[ What are they looking for? A savior? Now you've given yourself a God Complex. As if the world already hadn't. The world had, I just refused to accept it. Until? Until everything. At once, right? And nothing. Why does Annie keep coming up? You must be on her mind. I'm dead to her. Who? Exactly. She thinks you'll make up. Please. She's latna and native. And an alcoholic. So. So she's perfect. So she is. I'm not forgiving her. Again. Maybe you don't have to. If the DJs want her, they can have her. She's a perfect storm of a hoe. Hoes are fun. Until they're not. What are you? A ghost. Why does she keep coming up? I don't know. I've had two dreams about her. She misses you. I could give a fuck. You could? IDGAFOS. Happy Birthday, Dillon Francis. But you won't tell him. His fandom will. I'm done inboxing people. These people live on beaches; I'm a grain of sand. So go find your beach. Viva Mexico. Probably so, huh? Probably. Left in a world without people, realizing she is completely alone, Punishment be ones Paradise, as she enjoys all her favorite places, without the pollution, population or politics in her way. The happiest she's ever been, she approaches EMPTY EDC, still perfectly intact with the gates wide open. She runs inside,losing her mind-- and then losing her enthusiasm entirely, realizing she cannot dance in silence, or operate any of the rides by herself (which, in one dimension higher, she uses the power of the mind to start manifesting all the things she needs,creating a perfect EDC) however, in the most limited dimension, where even manifestation can be fathomed, and no use of magic, she sadly strolls through the empty carnival--though, having found solace in the typically overpriced fashion and merchandice apparel, has ransacked the empty and abandoned shops, looking ridiculously ravey, looking like a 3D insomniac billboard, sparkling with Kandi and shining flashing lights. She approaches the front and center of the rail, her usual favorite, as she looks up at the decks of The BassPod. She just looks, as she sips an acai berry smoothie out of a collectible cup. Cree: You look like a fucked up cupcake. SupaCree: You look like a fucked up cupcake, ate a fucked up cupcake, and then put on a sweater. Cree: Hey man. Fat is Fat. I'm in Infinite Eternity: INFINITE EDC, BITCH. SupaCree: Oh yeah? You like being the fattest fat ass dancing fatass at the everlasting motherfucking fatty fattass fat... dance... Cree: Hmmyeahh--Hows it feel being the lastest-fast-having-last past life past-afterlife--flattest -ass-last-fan-of-DillonFrancis-random-dancing-at-the-lostest-awful-rotten-sauced-forgotten-boss-of-not-a-lot-of-bought-a-bag of -frazzled-skrillex-dicks-you-wish-you-licked-but-didnt-cause-they-wouldnt let you in the the artist tent if you farted in it, in -different-dimensions you were in INFINITE but now you're ISNT-ISNT-ISNT IS THE CLOSEST cause you're not a fucking DJ BITCH, YOURE JUST A WISHIN WASHED UP WISHING WELL YOU'RE STILL FAT!! PPL ALTER EGO I wanna look like her! —oh, that's a guy —well, still. For I am just a shadow of what I once was; And all of a fraction of what I would become, Were it not for love There you are. There I was. Oh, my God. How long was I gone? Long. I'm sorry. No, you're not. Oh shit, that sounds F.U.N… FUN!? FUCK YOU, NIGGA! Oh good, the Dolphin On Wheels is here. "THIS. IS. OWSLAAAAAAA" ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Serious as a Dillon Francis Bampheramph. What even IS that? You're looking at it. ________ NO PANTS! what?! (Takes off pants) HEY! NO PANTS, Dillon Francis! Have a banana. I don't wanna banana! I want pants! NO PANTS. gimmie your hat. (Leaves) It is. An Element. Can... I base... my survival solely on elements--is--the question. That is, actually--as it stands, what we were intended to do--I suppose. Elements. Alchemy. Alchemists. Ahhhh. Those. Ahhh. D-- Hmmm. Mmm. Okay. This is gonna take a long time to work out. What doesssss--- ...Hello… Aha-ahaha... ...What does Dillon Francis have to do with this? I don't know. *laughing in 4 different dimensions* I know, right? *snickers* Well, that's another drop in the Fuck-It Bucket Not that Bucket. [honks] Ahe, Hehehe I didn't-- Actually, I did know that-- I did know that-- I did know that I had two Fuck-It Buckets. I had forgotten... about all the buckets. Just like I almost about the Hellavator. How is that going, by the way. Oh what--the Hellevator--or the Party on the Hellevator? Or the scene...where Hanzel's on the...Hellevator with Dillon Francis? I-- *reacts in 4 different dimensions* Oh, wow. I know! It's gonna take forever. Forever's almost nothing compared to an eternity. Yeah--forever is almost nothing, compared to an eternity. *smacks lips* And then that, motherfucker… FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck that motherfucker. *sirens sounding* YEP. *blasting magic* Yep. ...yep. This is why we don't need a wand, anymore--because--you see that? Yep. Well, -- you don't see it, Well I mean, that's just part of the joy--you just know. You don't have to see it, you just know. Oh, you mean like... [mimicks ******** ] ..Kinda like that… But…??? Gonna Hit that red dot and never stop What's that--the 4th dimension? Ah, the 4th dimension. The “r” word Yeah, yeah, yeah Like political correctness even matters. The only thing that matters is matter And why have I never been for a Joyride? Last thing I remember, I was having the time of my life... [rifling through things, as Dillon sits down at his desk—he puts on a pair of librarian-like frames, adjusting them to fit at the nose] You don't wear glasses. Uh, I do wear glasses, I am wearing glasses. I just never—you know—thought of you, like— Yeah, well—not all of us are known by our trademark frames. I detect a hint of bitterness. Oh, you can detect that? What device do you have that does that? …...my...senses. Heh, you look like Katey Sagal. I love her. Same. [rifling through papers, doing office things] What's taking so long, Peg? Well, Al, if you must know it's going to take me a minute to get into my ‘Skrillex', it's been awhile. How long's awhile. Hey—you came through my panoramic window demanding Skrillex. Tsh, like it's never happened before. (Or like it's always, never happening) What? Hey—who said that? So how long's this gonna take? I'm gonna need you to exercise patience—that is, if you're familiar with excersise. PATIENCE?! What the fuck is Patience?? Are you done yet? Patience—patience—it's like—it's almost like “patients, like what a doctor has— —oh don't even— *hands up* Not gonna even. … … … Did you— I told you it has been a minute. >>>< >>>>>>> >>>>< What kind of company do you think I keep?! In this installment, which follows Scary Monsters and SupaCree and crosses over into both DILLONCEPTION, and enter the multiverse. Having nearly abandoning the ideal of becoming a superstar DJ, a reality she had previously become certain of, but given up on after being led to believe the DJ world is one ruled by white supremacy, SUPACREE, going by “CC” and operating under the pen name CC stone crafts a somewhat plausible future in entertainment, still creating music under the moniker “Sunni Blu” or DJ U, still passionately attached to Djing, though as a hobby, rather than as a potential career. In a pseudo-suicidal depressive state, our protagonist explores all the infinite realms of her own creation, drifting into a lucid God-Dream in which all the dimensions of her writings exist, in each respective reality, sometimes crossing timelines from one “fictional” realm into another, as the writer struggles with her own self-confidence and self-actualization. We Open With A Blockbuster-Style Movie Trailer. Everyone Is At The Event, Where Everything Happened. She broke everything in my house. Everything? Ev-er-y-thing. Hah, I broke all of his stuff. All of it? Everything, dude. Hehe. All of it. No, Like--Literally, Everyone, Ever. What did you do to this girl? _ EXCEPT… I don't get it. She hates Dillon Francis. She does— hate Dillon Francis. So why would she go to this? [They enter simultaneously.] YOU! YOU! [They charge.] EH. [She-- CUT TO: Sunni Blu is writing a Movie. —- I don't get it, how do I write about magic? I don't know, just say what it looks like--- Cut To: Staring at Skrillex. [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “The World Builders” [Staring at Skrillex.] [It's...an anomaly.] Yeah, she's just been staring at it, I think for… Doesn't matter how long, dude--she's gonna get stuck in it. OF course she's gonna get stuck in it, she doesn't know who built it. ...who did this…? “Think about it; What would you do that would leave a profound effect on Skrillex. I've...been...trying to figure that out, maybe. Pi. Look, it's S U P A C R E E. Oh shit, these are DIRECTIONS. To WHERE, tho? Dude, I have something to tell you. What. It's bad. Why, what happened? It's... look, no one else can know about it, okay? Okay... Oh shit, she's a Trance artist now? Trance? I don't know how to make trance. This one time, I held my breath meditating to it, and I just-- Just what? —- That's it. It just ended. What? Yeaaauhh dude. I don't fuck with Skrillex. For a lot of reasons. … I think I might be a writer. Oh no. She's a writer. Oh, no. ___ Oh, NO. I am not touching that with a $10,000 dollar paycheck! $!0,000--what the fuck am I gonna go with $10,000? ($10,000 is the rich people equivalent of $10) Yo. Poor people will do just about anything for $10. What? No, they won't. Yes they will--hey--watch this. Hey! [guy looks] I'll give you $10 to hop across the street on 1 foot. D1- He just does it See. D2- Does it, gets hit by a bus. See. That guy died. For $10. D3- Does it, gets hit by a bus; but is S U P A C R E E and resurrects instantly, then comes back for vengeance, capturing 2 more. What, she has their souls? Hearts and Souls. Goddamn. (Literally) Well, I told you Jesus quit, right--? Yeah, he's...he left. Jesus is watching “The Movie” So you swim into a port that has a boat. A boat-- Then you get on the boat. Get on the boat. That boat is going to take you to another boat. Okay, another boat. I TOLD YOU THERE WAS ANOTHER BOAT. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE FIRST ONE HAD TO SINK, TO BOARD IT. Oh, yeah, well--duh. So then--on the second boat-- Well, it's more like a really big Ferry (It's a monstrous cruise ship) Yeah, that shit made groove cruise look like...what's the poor people equivalent of groove cruise? There is no “poor people equivalent” Well then--how do poor people rave on boats? They...don't. That doesn't seem fair. Yeah--where's the equality? There's no such thing as equality in poverty! Actually-- HAH. THEY CALL IT “GOD'S COUNTRY” I'm not taking responsibility for this. I didn't do this. “IN GOD WE TRUST” NO, that just means; the trust is empty. It's empty. This...this used to be a reservoir. It still is...a reservoir. Of water. Oh. It's a “Christian Nation?” Christian? What's a Christian? It's-- NO. Jesus, listen. NO. YOU LISTEN: FUCK. THAT. FUCKTHAT. Oh, he was mad. He was pretty mad. He still is, mad. He is, pretty mad. Dad, what happened? It doesn't matter, it just had to happen. Why did it ‘have' to happen? If you have even to ask; I don't have an answer. Ogh, dude. I know. It's almost time to go back to work. I know. Oh, my God. I know. How long have we been in this Void--it's so random. [The whole #SQUAD is on Watch.] Hm. What is this? [A look] Can I have some? [Another look.] I like it. I want it. [The Look.] I'mma try it out. OK. __ Ask Him! He knows! How to get to Skrillex? (still censored) Yes--you know. He knows. You know, right? I don't know. What? I--? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. (It didn't happen.) Fuck. NO dude, I found it--I just don't remember how… Do you remember when? Ah, I remember my first Skrillex. I don't. Oh My God dude. Flip Flops? Yes, my feet are killing me. [Skrillex ]is in 10 minutes. Actually, 9. The Hotel is 7 minutes away.; The car is parked in Valet; If we leave now, we can make it back by the time it starts, I swear. You SWEAR? __ Ooh...Beyonce...I like her. We all like her. Give her something nice. Nice. Very nice. Very nice. What do you want her to dress as? Oh her? ...she can come as herself. [the next part] Yo FUCK the Met Gala; I'm going to THIS shit. What? You were invited? I want to be invited! How did you get an invite? ((Oh, you can't write that)) Damn right I won't. Lol, she had her dress as Beyonce. That's cold. She stole Umbrella! She stole it first! It wasn't even written for her--! It wasn't written for anybo-- Actually, it was written for ME. Oh yeah, huh. Why does this song have 32 writers on it? What the fuuuuckkk... What. We have [Skrillex.} Skrillex. How did you get a [Skrillex?] Just--[Skrillex.] “Just [Skrillex”?] The Original. Oh, shit. The Original [Skrillex.] Like, the first one? First one ever. Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] I didn't take it. STFU “didn't take it”--Where the fuck is my [Skrillex?] Oh what--[Skrillex?] We have [Skrillex!] You do? Of course we do! It's paradise. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If that man sits at a piano, I will pass out... Oh wow, he plays piano...hmm. I will faint. How did he DO this? This Volcano emits *this* frequency. Ah, try this-- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Oh. I know this one. Do you? Yeah! Bruh. I'm about to take a lot of drugs right now; I'm just calling to tell you that I love you. What happened? Nothing happened. I'm just like this now. What's that? Nothing! What is it? Nothing! It's [Skrillex], isn't it. I don't get how he DID this. Someone give this man an honorary doctorate. Think about it like this; if all this is happening to you, and you have-- --No Grammys-- --and he's got-- --Eight Grammys. Eight Grammys, really? Damn, what the fuck. I know, right? Right. So. If he has eight Grammys--and you have none-- --zero Grammys-- --and you're experiencing this right now-- Damn, what the fuck happened to him? [Over the phone] ...She shat in my Grammys. What! All Eight of Them? YES. I didn't shit in his Grammys. You didn't? NO! Well, that's good, because-- I hired other people to shit in his Grammys. What? Best $80 I ever spent. Why are we terrorizing [Skrillex?] He started it. He did start it. See, this is why I like him--he doesn't ask questions. What? You hired 8 different people to shit in his Grammys. Yeah! Dude, that is disgusting! Dude. You hired three different photographers to take professional photoshoots of my dick. Look; These were all done on location; we went to Catalina...it was kind of cold though-- WHAT THE FUCK. Dude, this is like 9 lawsuits. Well, actually, one of them is a Class Action, so that's actually like a dozen actual complaints rolled into one; I don't know why they do that. {SupaCree has arranged literally “many seats” for both Skrillex, and Dillon Francis.] {Sweet Brown's Monologue: Well, Sweetie, I'll tell you what; That's a tough way to go. I'll give you one more go at it; and She Stole All of our Music! All of it? NO! Just the HITS! (awws) ‘ATROCIOUS C' ? What the fuck is THIS? Hmmm Atrocious C and the-- Wait--what was it called again? Oh shit. Black Jack Black. That was it. Right? Yeah, that was the original joke, I think. You think? Yeah, I think--But then I remembered Atrocious C Wait, Atrocious C was a real thing? YEAH dude, it was my cover band in college. COVER BAND IN COLLEGE? YEP. Black Jack Black Black Jack. Oh no. Yep, he was there. Remember that $10,000 I gave you yesterday, and you said you didn't want it? Yeah… I need it back. No. What? You said you didn't want it! Yeah, then you made me take it anyway, so I spent it! Well, what'd you spend it on?! Dude, where are we going? If I knew, then it wouldn't be an adventure! Please, no [Skrillex.] PUMP THE SHIT. Dude, is that [Skrillex?] Go the other way. What? Why? TURN AROUND . Seriously, what was that? TURN AROUND. “Turn arouuund” She wrote the whole...movie. What the fuck is a “movie”? I should record this. “record” ? OK, FIRST OF ALL. [Skrillex] has Magic Powers. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPP. Wow, 14 Pages. What...language is this... -It's In English -It's in [Skrillex.] YOU KNOW I CAN'T READ-- Ugh, yeah, I can translate this. It's alphanumeric.. You algebraic motherfucker. Damn. Is he still over there? Yeah. Goddamn. …. Goddamn. Hey. Uh. Come in. ...it's nice in here. It is. ...did you take out a wall? Window. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Where's Dillon? Oh, he's... chillin. {Dillon Francis is sleeping like a-- No dead baby jokes. I wasn't going to make a- [He's laid out, alright.] How long has he been sleeping like this? ...I don't know...awhile. How long's “awhile”? We've been trying to call him. I know. I have his phone… That explains the inspirational breakfast messages. What? I stopped getting mine! I found your preceding messages to be in bad taste. CUT TO: Everyone is laid out. She is going through their phones. Woah. This is a lot of tits. So many tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Oh hey--look at these. Oh, I don't like that. What is that? CUT BACk: Oh, you saw that…? I saw that. And I deleted that. And I blocked your number. (shamefully) Oh. On everyone's devices. What the fuck. Permanently. Oh. Yeah...You should go, now. [Does] Dude, she has me carrier locked with every provider in the united states; I had to get a burner just to try to get through to all of my contacts everytime I try to make call it somehow gets intercepted. Hahah. he had to get a burner. Haaaah. wow , you really did it this time. Now I can listen to their calls. What? That's impossible-- NO IT ISN'T dude. I don't know how she's doing this--it's like every time I--HELLO? --What? Hello? Hello? Hm. Haaah, I disconnected them. Dude, what are you doing to these DJs? FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJs. FUCK THESE DJ'S. And that guy over there. Hey, who is that guy anyway? I don't know...he kind of looks familiar… Yeah, he does...I...I think I might have seen him perform once… Preform? Perform what? Music? … YEAH, HE DOES MUSIC! I REMEMBER. THIS GUY'S A DJ. ...I'm...not a DJ. HE'S A DJ. LETS GET HIM. What does he do? Who, that guy? [Skrillex.] I don't know. What's up, I'm “Not A DJ”--- YOu should probably be careful with it... Careful with it. Be careful with it, it's limited [Skrillex.] Limited [Skrillex.] Mmhmm. Lets get it. We probably shouldn't. Mm. I feel like we should Dude, it's limited. ___ Cosmo and Wanda are on their way to The Event Cosmo. What? You should probably stop drinking. Why? You're flying sideways. Alright. Try water. WATAAAAR!! __ Dude, how long have we been dead for? Dead for? Yeah, man. I don't know. Yeah, me neither. She didn't make it. Didn't make it? What do you mean, is she okay? No, I mean--she's dead… WHAT? That's not ok. I don't get it, what is she doing? This is just how she does it, shut up. Yeah, but what is she doing? [Skrillex!] He's here? He's here! I gotta go! Get gone! [Skrillex?!] Yuh! Fuhck! If he's here, then i'm already late. Late for what? Pretty much anything, you name it. His...Name...Is… DON'T SAY ITl DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! He's been sleeping for...several days. [Still Staring At The Sky} Who DID this!? Explain it to me! Explain it to you? I can't explain to you! Are you seeing this? I'm in it! Everything's in it! __ Bruh. I know, dude. A little man climbed out of my sub this morning, and I'm just saying---I don't know if I can take it. I don't know how I'd take that, either. I can't take it. There's just one thing you should know: What? When the bass drops, so do we. DROP. What did you do with Dillon Francis? I don't know. I can't remember. You don't remember. What did you do with that bitch?! I don't know! I don't remember! You don't remember? Noone remembers. Deadmau5: I remember. Deadmau5 Remembers Everything. This is why he is “like that.” WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. So wait--Deadmau5 knows the entire story? well , yeah. Wait, which story? All of them. What the fuck! Happy Birthday! (he is canadian, so he is morbidly polite) Thanks. You're welcome. K. So. YAH! [they both draw their rave weapons] WHO IN THE FUCK ARE YOU? I AM IN “THE FUCK” YOU'RE “THE FUCK”, YOU DICK. Here's your gift. [She tosses it.] Oh, Gosh--this is... actually exactly what I wanted. I know dude. UH-WHO ARE YOU? I'm YO(U) . [They do not battle. He just accepts it.] Have you seen this rock? It's...not a rock, it's… Well, have you seen it? Yeah I've seen it. It's pretty sick. Yeah… (Delirious) Oh My God--A Tiny Man...with a tiny scythe…. I am not a man. I'M NOT A WOMAN. ---he changed his name to a symbol. I'M NOT A MAN. “is [_____________]” a boy or girl I AM SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Oh, Jesus Christ. What dude. What the fuck do you want? What? Wait, you're...Jesus----Jesus-Jesus??? If you insist on still calling me that, I told you ages ago... (to himself) ...that makes so much sense…Jesus… Hm? Hey wait--are you still--sleeping--kind of? *wakes instantly* Sleeping? Who's sleeping? I'm not sleeping! Chel. HUH. [they squint at each other suspiciously] WHO'S THE PINATA NOW, BITCH?! Oh, my God, Gerald! Get a hold of yourself!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Dillon--What have you done. WHAT--DID YOU--DO. Just...Voodoo. VOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (She's mad.) ((Oh, she's so mad)) (((Mad, what's that?))) Bruh. She bleached my asshole. What! Yeah. And then tie dyed it. Trending: Rainbow Taint. Bro. How did you even find out about that? -creative ways you might find out, your junk has been permanently altered. What, it's PERMANENT. Dude, how Am I supposed to explain my LITERALLY Blue Balls? --I”M BLUE DA BA DE, DA BU DI__ I thought it was “Da BU Di--Do-Bu-DI” Obblah-di, Oh Blah-da; Life goes on, brah-- La-Da-Da-Da-Life goes on. I don't know. I might be a writer. She's a writer. She's a writer! Oh No! She's a rider. Oh, that's robust. Oh My God--It was that big? (Nods) You'd never know. ...I knew it... What did you do with it? I just wrapped it around my leg and tucked it into my sock, most the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I had to layer, the tube socks. That's--wow. Yeah. I mean. When you're right, you're right. You're right. I just get confused about it when I see him in shorts now. [in shorts.] (she cocks her head to the side and squints, staring very suspiciously) (Later) We find that -- Woah. What. This is ridiculous. It is. [Skrillex] is Ridiculous. It is. So wait. This dudes dick. Oh my God. Is so long-- right He just opens up a portal to another dimension, so he has some place to put it while he's doing business-- What is this. --So it doesn't get in the way. Lol. Pocket Portal. Why did you DO this? Who did this? SIR. STOP CALLING ME THAT. SIr, it was “not enough.” What? I don't get it, so he's like a psychic? [Skrillex] is a psychic. Mm. No. No, he isn't. Uh, yes he is. No, he's not. He's just from the future, so he knows what's in it. Oh. Which future? All of them. Wait, which human era? ... Oh, I've seen the movie. How could you see the movie, it doesn't exist yet? Oh. It exists. What? It does? Yes. And It is fucked up. Like, in a good way? just FUCKED UP. Bruh. I went to go see [Skrillex] last night. Oh shit. How was it? IT WAS FUCKED UP Like, in a good way? JUST-- I JUST-- I JUST, ADJUST. There. There it is. Adjust. I don't see anything. Veer Weest. There! There! Right! There! *gasps* Wait, I think I see it. I see something. Wait. Is that. Adjust. *gasp* it's moving. It is moving, It appears to be moving. I can't just leave it, they'll find it--I have to keep moving it. You can't keep moving it--the planet can't handle it. There are still humans on it! I know there are still humans on it, that's where I left them; but I can't just put it back, and I can't just leave it out here for the Inter--Galactic-- Interdimensional-- Whatever! I'm not just gonna leave it here for some aliens to turn into a trash planet.It's not a trash planet. (It's, basically a trash planet) It's a trash planet. Okay, well--it's my trash planet! And. I already annihilated--or, am in the current process of--annihilating all the evil soulless demon people-things. All the Bad Things. It has a lot of badness. Yes, but recently less badness. Kind of. And also less water. Everyone's thirsty now. But...I mean, we always were, kind of. Especially in LA. What is your process? This is it. Look. Look,This planet-- Trash Planet-- Trash--Look. Its full of primitive species-- OKay-- And also other things that shouldn't be there. Alright. And it's almost dead. Or dying. Or...dead already. It's dead. It's a dead trash-planet. But I can't let anything [else] happen to it. --AND DEN-- You caused an entire apocalypse. Well, they called me fat, so. Well great; What are you going to do with your dead post apocalyptic trash planet? You can't keep expanding everlasting galaxies just so you can stuff this piece of crap planet into voids. Aha-Ha. IT'S FUCKIN--AHA-- W-Wait. Where did it go? Where did he go? Where did she go? How did I get here? How DID she get there? I've been looking for you everywhere! That sucks… Where were you? Nowhere. Like, the only place I didn't check! It was the first place I checked. You checked? Yes. He wasn't there. He's not in there. He's not on the lineup. I know how to get her here. ___Dude, I don't know how you did this! How did you DO this? Look, it's a long story. Well make it a short one. *sighs* Look. I was jumping up and down, during my set, like usual--okay. OKay. So I….dropped the bass, and then… AND DEN? And then? And then…(looks off, into the distance, for a moment) I went up, the bass went down; My dick went sideways, and forward-- --sideways and forward, at the same time-- >>>Yes. It was a lot. Yo. What's his power. I don't know. I know you know. Everybody knows you know. What's his power. Ask him. Dude, I know you know it; Just tell me. “Macbook Bro” It's Apples Take on Music Production. Yo dude, these are flying off the shelves. ___ Dude. I jus' joined the mile high club. No way. Yes way. With who? Myself. Nice. It was great. __ So you're telling me-- I'm telling you--what I was told-- That they put him on a helicopter in the middle of the desert-- ---Black Rock City-- Whatever--Burning man--middle of the desert-- _-Yeah-- --Right. And then flew him to-- --”an undisclosed location”-- --okay-- ___ To her suprise, some big-time hollywood producers have taken an interest in her script,; Because she has no formal work experience in the industry, she is being “coached” by seasoned industry professionals as the Film Goes into Pre-Production Okay, I actually just had a few questions about the script… Go ahead, I was wondering about this scene with [Skrillex.] [...Skrillex?] What [Skrillex?] It's...pages… No. It isn't. There's no [Skrillex.] He is introduced as a character in Act... No, [Skrillex ]isn't in this. He...is...I'm...looking right at it. What page? Pages 45, thru… [Sunni Blu (a.k.a. ‘Stone' omits page 45 from all of her written works.] “45” Yeah. There's no...come here. What. Come over here. Let me see. [Does.] ...what master is this... The revision I got in my email this morning. From who? From you. WHAT? BRO. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT OUT TO THE DESERT-- ---YEAH--- --AND WE BURNED THAT-- ---YEAH--- MY ENTIRE STAFF GOT THAT IN THEIR EMAIL THIS MORNING. WHAT? I thought that was the only copy. IT WAS. WHAT THE FUCK. BRO THIS NIGGA. THIS NIGGA. NIGGA. [Skrillex] did A [Skrillex.] Three People Know About It. [Skrillex] is not one of those people. Woah. So. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Oh, no…. ...I just don't get it; I'm really sleepy. Well yeah...you are ...dead, so. What? I'm dead? Oh, yes. That explains it. It... actually doesn't expla

america god love jesus christ music american time death live movies father power google babies earth apple man mother rock pr moving water space hell online reality deep nature thinking food dj girl tips fun dance left gardens drop forever dad satan darkness event jewish dead gods 3d original grammy poor hotels stage iran divine nazis hearts run stone stuck beyonce ufos hamilton hits wars act paradise happy birthday tickets monkeys shooting michael jackson crash throw prophet gotta lol souls plays vip b2b invasion fuck window guys jail sleeping powers retreat imagination lower wtf patterns elements twelve halo opens bet ascension i am tennis squad pi explain prophets punishment bitch roller coasters infinite mormon greed contracts careful jumping void sad sol ev djs fat walks trains pages sauce nah element mad alchemy billie eilish surprised permanent bucket perform tenet destroyed ridiculous turnaround alchemists spiders socks bro ve trance bluetooth spongebob squarepants met gala splash djing sends aha rick and morty baldwin cc voodoo heavens mm skinny sir underworld dimensions pornhub uncertain takes jimmy fallon technically directions bad things miserable cosmo int welp morty dang hmmm prostitution eco santa clause lit umbrella gel staring hm charlie sheen tying avicii sticks and stones pop tarts hoes ran guardian angels tits skrillex edc insomniacs s p joyride oh god yuck mmm bruh zooming permanently method man se7en oh my god for free whatcha capone valet deadmau5 colosseum music production spirit world stunned three times goddamn love it stfu lalo flip flops yah sunni father time mainstage class action did you know ummm ahem frantic fucked up i won pasquale ascended masters sweetie commonalities hehe dan harmon expansions kandi neva og h nancy reagan in god we trust dillon francis tsh motherfuckers yas hardstyle never again hah christian nation chel awww aww r u ok exaggerated ext mind blown heh crypt keeper fuck you unh god complex binoculars no pants inhabitants getter volts on time three people uhh aight yeah right pft alternately deadass hot hot scary monsters sampled psh mmhmm agh jesus it three cities party party viva mexico katey sagal rezz free water it does yuh what the fuck what have you done yesh space wars hahah are you happy god dream my future bigwig oh good northern america hanzel what have i done worldbuilders admit it owsla heeeeey yeahhhhh fvck red cups uhhhhhh thedarkside hellevator first of all ahe matt maeson oh my gods gretl sweet brown drop the bass and nothing nyo source light nice sprites faque allison wonderland awwwwwwww to where
The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential
{Everything Is Everything. } [S 3.5 EP 12]

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2022 24:45


ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: THE MOVIE - PART I // THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE: ENTER THE MULTIVERSE LEGENDS: ORIGINS Apparently, There's a movie between Season 3, and Season 4. Of which show? All of them. ALL OF THEM? That's a lot. That is a lot. Does she know she's being recorded? She doesn't know she's being recorded. Oh, My God. ANANDAR THE GREAT. who's this now? --that's my sponsor --that's my manager --that's my... Oh. "Oh." ...Oh. Ah! She's a witch! Yo--She's a fairy! WHAT'S THIS MAGIC? ...kk. damn. i'm a dick. she's such a diva. what an asshole. I guess it's a series of important encoded messages, or something. 4 fucking hours?! I'm not listening to this. We're listening to this. I shouldn't post this. Don't post this. Damn. I'm a dick. A fucking narcisist. What an asshole! What a dick. A fucking sociopath. "My body doesn't know what it needs." "My body knows exactly what it needs." Here, take this. You can't just-- [does.] SUPACREE is a dick. She's a dick. [SECRET LIFE OF SUNNI BLU] Whatever. Something out there asked for this. What about your superstardom? What about it? Give me that. Ugh. What is this? *coughs* WHAt THE-- doctor sebi maps.me dissappear. -blu. Fall//Fly (never) capo 1 Oh I've never been so high in my life Oh I've never been so high in my life Oh I've never been so… Lost in my mind, in time Oh I've never been so high in my life Oh I've never been so out of touch Oh I've never been so out of touch Oh I'll never forget to call again Oh I've never been so Out of touch If i could love you a life time And I probably might, I find I'd give you all my light (or none ) We'll find, in time Which one Oh I've never seen such love in my world Oh, I've never seen such love in my world oh, I've never seen such love in my world Oh, i'll never forget to fall again, Oh, I've never seen such love in my world …Oh, I've never been so high in my life Oh, i”ve never been so high in my life Oh, I'll never forget to call again— Oh, i've never been so high in my life Oh I''ve never been so high in my life Oh i”ve never been so high in my life Oh, I'll never forget to fall… ___ 4427 43 2900 5671 12/3 369 The question wasn't whether I wanted to stay, or go; in fact, I wanted to go, and to stay—but underlying and now, overlying, was the wonder of in what way I would spend my birthday. Did it matter? I wanted it not to, and yet, here I was, caught in the wash, and the album or book, or episode– whatever it was, that was coming about from it was meant to be called “Three Nights In San Cristobal” , but something was pressing me to get out, now that I had the certainty and assertion of what I was; Then It just stops. OH MY GO- RUSKO aka “Christopher Mercer” is standing trial for the involuntary manslaughter of his roommate; He becomes famous in a nearby parallel for being the the first human known to have committed murder by way of sound frequency— FUCK. —little does anyone know… SUPACREE headlines an entire festival during a blackout. Was it bad? yeah. did they throw trash at me? Only a little. aww. SUPACREE is a Superstar DJ. Oh great, yeah. She is possibly the best— THE BEST &, also/a- SHH. “Bread's Dead” LIVE KETO SET. What is this. just buy tickets. What is it? I'll buy them. PAUSE. AND THEN WHAT? MILEY CAME IN ON A WRECKINGBALL. You mean, “like” a wrecking ball”? NO. I mean, YES, she was ON a wrecking ball, so– “like' but, WAS. WHAT. BROAH. DID SHE COME OFF? sortof. WAHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON? NONE. hey, look watch. RELEASE THE KRAKEN. YOOOOOOOOOOOOO. got a new guitar; got another gig got a new guitar, got another gig got a new guitar got another gig —got another gig —got another gig. Well, now that I'm famous, it makes everybody seem more human. The good ones, the bad ones– Except for women. Women are monsters. I hate them. You are them. I was them. NO, I wasn't. Was I wrong for loving you? (It's too human) I didn't want to do this— (It's so stupid) True, I'll use it, too “i'll use him” “Cool” I'm just a tool, to you, then. Then, there was Justin Roiland, the unsung hero of them all–mostly because he wasn't ‘sung' at all, but mostly spoken–the amount of comfort his voice had always provided was, in the very least, heroic–if I understood the context of Poetic Justice at all, that's probably what it was. But even he, in my mind, being all of consciousness at once, now, more often than not, had collided with the thoughts of fame and wealth, and what exactly it does; I paused hard upon reflecting on the ‘retarded' amounts of laugher that seemed to be unstoppable, as I formed the then-very-loose-plot of my own projects, or rather, the conglomerate of them all, which would eventually become The Festival Project Perhaps, I thought, all that it really was is that I had been watching the final outcome of a ride I was also on, for all of them–however, as much as I wanted, I couldn't seem to forge the great gifts of The Prodigal Sonny, and as it turned out, I wanted either all of it or none. Now that I was properly out of carbohydrates, I could focus on being somewhat hot, at least until someone with an actual body walked by or just happened along; I had somewhere along the way decided that women with perfect bodies were in fact not Gods, or rather Goddesses, but Satan in his truest form– as often and awkwardly from afar, I often watched as men would become useless and lost followers in their company, typically unarmed with more than looks– But, I knew at this point that the men I had so affectionately fawned after had climbed the social and even political ranks so much so that, The Actresses, The Models, The Musicians and otherwise multi talented women of the world– A world to which I may have once belonged, had my mother not destroyed my body– my upbringing clipping me with a 25-year-long inability to produce positive thoughts concerning The Self. Now that I had properly shifted my self-hatred into Skrillex, which didn't exist as a man, but a business, I could unravel the rest of the infinite that was somehow expanding as quickly as it was collapsing. Considering Luis was now seemingly preoccupied with the ugly punk rock girl, and now that I would be properly sealed-off from whatever truck stop… Stop scratching. You look awful. It's just because i'm black and I need my hair done. Just cut it off! Fuck that nonsense. Why not? Same reason I put clothes on: It covers up the ugly. God Loves Ugly. Oh yeah? Well maybe UGLY just loves GOD cause nobody wants it so there's no one left to talk to BUT him. “Him” ? Or not.. Whatever. It's beyond the human concept what The God Consciousness is. *coughs* whatever she wants. Or IT. Check it out. Another fucking demon. ‘The Demon Whisperer' Demons don't whisper, they cough. (Or pretend to cum.) Who does that? Pornstars. Models. Whatever these are. –truck stop travelers would pass through rampantly, leaving nothing but the trash of processed junk and coughing obnoxiously, rather than having to hang above it all in a hammock, only ever wishing for Skrillex so that I could fight the mosquitoes off. I just wanted a home, and, though I was only joking about the mangoes, it seemed my faith was at least partially restored, as the room I had decided was the closest thing… Suddenly, the ability to write, at least, as I had been–in this form, was vanishing; Of course, having to scrambble to some effect to make sure that I wasn't listening to Dillon Francis– Why, exactly, is that? Why is what? Why is Dillon Francis on The Blacklist? Because. Dillon Francis Made Me Laugh AND DEN?! Dillon Francis Made Me Cry. Oh noooo. Oh I love her. This plot is so racist. So is Hollywood. IN THIS DIMENSION: The Chinese Woman from Freaky Friday, and The Chinese Woman from Dude Where's My Car are actually the same woman–she just has two jobs. HAVE–THREE JOB. Oh, three jobs. That's a lot, Mrs. Wong! (Racist name, by the way) —and, she's gone. No, i”m not. Get me off this planet. LIQUID STRANGER If you want. Enter: The Psychonauts His music had inspired the entire plot of Ascension… I could be gone from it, but not forgotten or lost; at some point it seemed as though everything I had written hadn't even belonged to me… Well, it was almost a thought process, in narrative form. Then what happens? This. This is the festival project. Why'd you get up? I felt I was being watched. Well, you're not. (But I was) hy·per·son·ic /ˌhīpərˈsänik/ Learn to pronounce adjective 1.relating to speeds of more than five times the speed of sound (Mach 5). 2.relating to sound frequencies above about a thousand million hertz. Now that I had nearly drifted off into an experience that was more in my body than out… She's–immune to ACID? In– SUPACREE throws DILLON FRANCIS out the window. Wait, what window. It–doesn't matter. DILLON FRANCIS [falling] YES IT DOES No, it doesn't. ((yes it does)) Oh–it does? [Everyone nods, especially DILLON FRANCIS, who seems to momentarily stop falling as if he's forgotten he ever was.] [Dillon Francis Nods] Well then… [He is suspended in mid air] Really high up. Oh My God. [He hits the ground, hard. Surprisingly, he does not splatter–and luckily, appears to have already been unconscious. In the darkness, upon impact.] RUN. Just then, I remembered who Ever was– who never was; The daughter I had thought up and then forgotten under everything i had become; The mumbling, stumbling drunken father I loved, only reminded me of the… And…it's gone. What! We can't add south park! That's too many plots! Well, you're practically Butters. I am– [BUTTERS] Mantequilla!!!!! MORE TEQUILA. Sacred Science: Ancient Egyptian “It Doesn't Matter” CC's new friend falls into an infinite loop, where SUPACREE flees for her life from superstardom and fame; He (Inwardly, also SUPACREE—) and his friend “Kiwi” relay a series of messages through several various futuristic intergalactic languages and advanced codes, which CC, operating newly as “Blū” and DJ Ū in her full creative persona, has learned to decode through music programming hypnosis, and ha developed a keen expertise in the studies of synaesthetics, and telekinesis. Oh. This is next level. It's multiple levels. Okay, heavy duty. I'll roll one. Oh. [Three overly attractive idealistic males enter The Vortex] Jesus Christ, Almighty. Oh. I told you, sit here. This is good. I needed that. — ‘I needed that.' Nothing happens without purpose or reason. What is “purpose”? What is “reason”? Oh, What's this *Daddy* Alright, I should get on with my day. No, stay seated. That's not fair. NO, watch it— Wait for it; Just wait. He—spoke BIRD. He was huge. Gigantic. THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. Don't be tall. I wasn't gonna! Oh, no, no, no. Everything was rock hard bodies and chest hair; The matted dreads of the friend beside me added adverse texture to the clean cut and very well-to-do-looking gentlemen who had against my will-to-wish, decidedly planted themselves parallel and just out of my line of sight, by peripheral—just so that to study them I had to sneak to peek at each of them, as within moments of spotting them all at once, as always, I could tell that each of them—with great respect, in their… “PALM/CC* MAAAAAAAAN— We waste time on SOOO much buuulllllshiiiiit! Oh, I get it. This is illuminati. You got it. —in their own unique sense and in the proper respective realms—they each had something to give, and to receive, to The Goddess, most recently hidden and writhing in sexless pain– Oh, My God. What's this around his neck. I don't know. Let's see here. Is it obsidian? HE SPEAKS BIRD. GO FOLLOW HIM. I just gushed. Don't be gross. Oh no, don't open your mouth. [The man begins to speak; he is oversexily foreign.] Oh My GOD. This dragon is going to destroy something! She's going to destroy EVERYTHING. That's what she does best! I had arguably never been so horny in my life, and nothing but the damage was being done, to my psyche and my subconscious ability to self destruct when super imposed upon. @terrazadelarquitecto She was wild, and wanted to know all there was to know to become and unleash the sprawling Goddess that had begun to take her Maiden form in the wash that was coming up into the shaken and awoke knowledge that was— they were all so perfect, Sacred Science: The king of pharaonic theocracy R.A.Schwaller De Lubicz There he is. Hey, there, sailor. What the fuck is THIS. How. Why be that large? Has it's benefits. Christ Almighty. Is that the one you want? Is it, then? Realizing I was being programmed to buy another something, I stopped myself from the influence of all that was around me, a playful gesture to indulge, by kindly rejecting the notion, in a push to finally move about my day; I was again becoming The Insomniac, or, whether or not I had known it all along, I always had been—which meant, in the suffering of losing my knack for writing anything and everything at any given time. I am a sitting duck. [Dillon Francis emerges from the water, gasping for every bit of breath.] Don't look at that. Mooh, my God. It's in color. Why is that—? Now What was *then*? Answer this question, No , Answer this Question: Okay. lol. _ here's this: What's this crappy place? Harsh. No, i'm serious. This is horrible. Okay, ouch. I mean it, this is bad. Where is this? Uh- Why are we here? This..is the bottom of my heart. This is gross. dang. Wait. so you're saying Yeah, get this They literally went—“within” Uhuh. To the bottom of his heart, literally— Yes, the inward infinite; The literal material externalization– The literal—yes. And she's like: “Ew” “Ew.” …Ew. [SECRET LIFE OF SUNNI BLU] I love the illuminati. Why would you say something like that? Look at this: What are those. They're not Crocs! Are they diamond encrusted? Indeed they are. Is that gold. Solid Gold, and Platinum; They're not plated. How would you even walk in those. I would not— Because you can't. I could, cause I'm man-strong — I just would not; Because it's ridiculous? Don't use that word around me. It is ridiculous! No, it's a synonym of ridiculous, because ridiculous doesn't exist—Anyway. Someone should put you to sleep. I've Michael Jackson'd Myself three times since I got famous—and you know what I got? It wasn't sleep! That's Off subject. Nothing's ‘on' subject. It's really *not* I love dudes in weird pants. Period. Still on the outside; Dead on the inside Inside out and On my head, Alone, my mind, along— But on my own ride A tribe of gypsies, With me, (or without me) Living out loudly, and badly But I was quite poorly, Or worried, but good on the core Wonder what's it all worth , with no surf and no certainties; copy + paste. ep -En Ūtero [Extended] 6:18 -hopskoch. -takitoo. 6:01 -43. -and then what? -Ū C'ESME'T Why are you walking me to my wild side? PETRUTHEIO Because it's my wild side. [beat] PETRUTHEIO (CONT'D) –What if I gave you all my love? C'ESME'T Why would I want that much love? PETRUTHEIO What if it wasn't that much? C'ESME'T Then why would I want it at all? He likes these games, ain't no heartbreak Raise the stakes No harm, no foul; It's an eye for an eye, and and ear for an ear, here She said “I live a fast life” He said, “I drive a fast car” but it wouldn't go far, no It wouldn't go far at all, now! I sometimes forget i'm famous enough to just live out my life, I forget i'm an idol, I decided my mind is a diamond I'm higher than high now, Hey now, The Lord of the Flies Now I might need to file another reliable lie There's another way to settle down, now Call it automatic, press repeat and need to eat But need to breathe again Can't keep secrets from the reaper, Everything you need is simply Everything you need is simply Everything you need is simply green. I sometimes forget i'm famous enough to just Live it out, loud But I don't want to go, now! How about a round of applause— cause I like the sound of it Got a Dalmatian on the Greyhound What now? I'm finally proud of my Finally proud of my No, I'm just finally proud of me; Figure out how to be found There's another way to settle down, now Call it automatic, press repeat and need to eat But need to breathe again Can't keep secrets from the reaper, Everything you need is simply Everything you need is simply Everything you need is simply green. Black background, green Plus sign (insomniac sweater) rarity. (purple) -Ū. mirissa g.pool “fucking mosquitoes.” I told you, you need Skrillex. And I told YOU to shut your dirty mouth, you hooker. Hookers get paid. Yeah, by Skrillex. –that's enough. I am the only one at my table; I am the only one on my team I been inside the box for so long, that if you let me out, I might scream I am the only crayon in the whole damn box I'm the only sand on my beach and I don't preach what I practice; But I practice what I preach Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh oh hey Do you have a problem? Is it with me? Should I pray the Lord your soul to keep? Should I call the reaper? Or the state police? Is it martyrdom or suidice if they write a press release? SKRILLEX You looked like a deer in the headlights. SUPACREE Oh yeah? well, you looked like a bat on a windshield I'll give you ten thousand dollars if you can get that hat off her head. Are you serious? 15Gs if you can get it to touch the ground. SUPACREE we're playing a game i made up TIM We're playing a game *I* made up. SUPACREE I am you. TIM Now you've got it. I don't know what just happened— Okay— But this lady just saw down straight into my soul, where a ghost lives. You're a ghost? My soul's haunted!!! That is deep bro. …And he's got music. —So he's almost always gonna be alright And she's got—music; So she's almost-always gonna be alright. You can go ahead. It *is* funny. I don't like it. It's already hilarious. Where are we? Where *is* this? And you will *never* find me. We found you. Eyes on God. Oh My— WHAT. I'm *sorry* mom. Why are you looking at *ME*. ‘Cause I'm SORRY. Don't look at *ME* sorry. Wait. How many people can I be at once? All of them. No. Yes. Watch: [Watching.] …Watching… [Watching—gets knocked out.] Now. Now, you caught me in a bad spot; I'm getting off in dark spaces Come, come along now. Way beside, but along on my own, now. Tie your love down/ Tie your love down; Oh, Now all the way out of the way This is innosense, in a sense Go down to the shore, For the fun of it; Come now, you got to Tie down Tie down Tie down Dive down wide-eyed, Humbled with pride— While you're siding, Colliding with Idols, Confiding in no one, and residing nowhere— Nowhere to go, If they don't care ‘Who are you?' Now I'm getting caught in dark spaces; I'm getting off in a bad spot; Come, along now. Along, but way beside all on my own now In a sense, this is innocence Down, Tie Your love— Down Down, Tie your love, down All the way out of the way, Now— Oh! In a sense, this is innocence. I've got summer on my mind. ‘I take no part in the festival; if you look to kill me, I only ask that you do it quickly. ‘ What movie is this? This is ‘The Insomniac”. Oh, Okay well—what happens in it? CREE? SUPACREE. What are you DOING here? This is how I wrote The Legend of SUPACREE. I thought this was “The Insomniac”? This is how I wrote this, too. Wrote what? Just— Just. Keep. Writing. —And it doesn't stop for nothing. It really doesn't; it doesn't stop for anything. What is this. Audio. It's DJ Shit. ___ Bitch, what is your deal? I don't have one. Yes you DO. My soulmate made a deal with the devil;He sold the soul we share for success, wealth, and fame—but did not include love in the fine print. Watch this. What is this. It's a test. It's all a test. _ Open the map. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not playing. Are you insane? By standard definition? By any definition. I mean— [Some Mild Insanity.] I could be. INSOMNIAC. Who would do this. Who wrote this? Who's paying for this? Now that the stones that I Carried for The Luminaries had grown heavy, I could not carry them all at once, and at the same time was also in the process of getting smaller; So small that it would become difficult to carry one or more of the stones in my bosoms. Wow. Control your self. Wish I could. For some reason the whole world smelled like sex; There was nothing but bodies in the ripe perfection of the perfect paradisiacal air; Sunlight reflecting off of each and every thing thing that was under it..The days were long, and the nights were almost a blur, but I was less concerned with any one person or circumstance beyond my own well being for more than a fraction of the moment. But because I let it become funnier, all the while behaving as an omnipotent observer, it was unfolding quite beautifully, and very theatrically; I couldn't help but keep track of the movement around me, and how it related to my innermost reflections in this existence, seemingly everlasting. ‘--Now he's gonna cut the head off this bird, I guess.' Owh. This is beyond out of control. Unacceptable. The game hasn't started; the map isn't even open yet; Why are the refs making calls? You are OUT of BOUNDS. I'M NOT PLAYING. This is so far off the map. There's a secret passageway. They LEAKED. The MAP. All of a sudden, nothing bothered me. I was my own worst enemy, but now it seemed that I was magically washing away in my fears. Not far from freedom, I wasn't gone from the idea of what Love was, but was drawn towards a darker, more solitary cause. What is this story. I guess this is The Legend of Supacree. I'M NOT CURSED. I'm not SUPACREE. Fair. Fair. [Heavy Skrillexian Accent] FIAR!!! You're are Fired. I'm a- what? So I pulled these cards. Oh, woah, now. Drop this, here. I can't; Wow. Wow. Wow. Wooo00000wwwoooooowwwwwwWW. Do you know who you ARE? Do *you* know who I am? Oh, My God! I feel like that's an important factor. What the fuck is this show? go for the gold! I told you, the whole damn cast of; Sons of Anarchy; what on god. This all happened. *ecstatic* Ohhh Noooooo. [TIS + LEGEND OF SUPACREE + GERALD'S WORLD = ENTER THE MULTIVERSE / LEGENDS] key: live that long maybe it's not my place Maybe it's not my place to say, maybe It's not my place Maybe it's not my place, to say I'll just say grace, and clear my plate My patience [is] —- What the fuck. lol You know what? I like cake, you bitch!! Then eat some cake, you— [a death glare] —Overly-agressive person! I guess I'm just Suspiciously Capricious Kinda skittish when I'm in my kitchen scripting this in Yiddish, washing dishes in my menacingly hideous unmentionables spitting shit I didn't get to send to— …anybody interesting. #skrillex 3 Weeks Earlier… And of course, the first night I thought it either safe or warm enough to sleep entirely in the nude, the man next door somehow found it necessary to burst into my apartment, to which my lackluster and almost non-existent response became more alerting to me than the incident itself; I realized at that point, the amount of trauma I had sustained had created a nearly unexcitable individual, as I pondered the kind of reaction any ‘normal' woman might have had to that, something which may have seemed terribly frightening once upon a time, but was now, as anything else, merely comical. I had just finished what I considered to be the conclusion of ‘Season 3' of my Podcast series, still gaining an incomprehensible cult following, to which I questioned in curiosity, but none-the-less kept present, however awaiting karmic response, or some external universal backlash, as the season, which I posted all-at-once in an effort to regain some of my consciousness, as it seemed to have been ripped away in pieces– no longer belonging to myself, but a ghost that could neither decide whether it wanted to haunt or befriend me. In the early dawn, finally able to rest, I slipped into that of another vivid and astral projection of lucid dreaming–however, becoming increasingly sensitive to the notion of love, I chose not to record its happenings, only allowing the fondest of any memory I had kept from the dream sequence, a relief; as the connection I had received was both joyfully unexpected, and greatly needed. With only pending payments still pending for weeks and mere days left in the dwelling I inhabited, and almost nothing left–pennies, actually, by the American standard of conversion, I kept myself from weeping and only could depend on yet another intervention of Divinity to again rescue me, again–from this, a city which may have excited me in safety, but that I had grown to dislike increasingly, only having come with hopes of releasing The Festival Project internationally, however– with this rendition of The Electric Daisy approaching quickly within the week, my sanity became wavering under the notion that EDD had any humanity, as they had seemingly used me as some sort of experimentation, dangling the money I so desperately needed like a carrot in front of me–randomly allowing payments in my greatest moments of desperation and disparity. This disparity, however, would leave me stranded in a hostile 3rd world country. The Legend of SUPACREE I'm functioning at low capacity, I haven't eaten When I sleep, I hardly dream Or remember where I've been in Astral projections; This circle of protection, A perfection of reflected projections Of the vision, Created in our image; Imagine, Making television— I had to write a film about it Now I just remembered, I have albums, the advantage I want him, but can't have him Above average handsome man// All I am is an obsessive fan without a family Have a plan, But nothing left to stand for I'm just buried in the sand, And asking if the seagull might just hold my hand Damn I'm so damaged Damn A dine and dash sounds nice, I can't— I'm showing tracks I feel like trash, But haven't half the magic left I had inside my hands Damn After all that I just feel fat Maybe a can of cannellini beans, In place of meat Maybe a salad in a bag Can I afford that? Yeah, but then it's back to Jimmy Fallon Damn Damn My karma came back fast I left the man with Jimmy Fallon, I'm not worth ⅓ the bag of Pretzels that I smashed Inside the can of rancheros, That fell out as I ran A random act Of patriotism, Dressed up in a sinful Leather dress, And a dad hat The House Nigga caught me red handed: I told him I was hungry, then just left it [red light camera] Man. I just saw the flash Ask Uncle Sam if I can have my land back But I'd have to move my mask, And haven't been vaccinated; So I can't… Pass, Beyond the border or internationals At that, I text my fake ass friends a snap Of half of someone's head, He's sitting in first class, And can probably afford to check a bag, But all I have is my back pack And I'm certain under a black mask Is the man who backmasked tracks, And blasted from the past With ashes grey to match His privileged rich pajama, with the slacks He bounces back, And asks a fan to— “Gimmie your hat” And just like magic, she passes it. Wait, I'm actually passing, yeah? Who's actual class is this? Pasqualle's a proud headmaster, And a Bampheramph, The Captain dances in his honor I put on my cap and gown, But can't go on, and can't believe I'm being honored Valedictorian Kandi Accomplished PLUR Police and Motherfucker OG Raver Graduate, I'm still glowing up from all the love I got when coming up from under, Or something; I had to lose my temper Followed one and then another, And I wonder what was up When it was over I'm just a lover; But I never found The One, Now I'm not gonna I'm too busy seeking out producers, to compete with Got computer, complete with Ableton Don't mind me, I'm just writing all this out instead of sorting through the Dillon and the Sonny or the anyone I've ever loved just listening And listening And singing, writing, dancing; I was born inside the box, And I still haven't started living Change my name to Sunnï Daisy Raiin, I go insane in pain Just sorting me through all these possibilities inside my brain Yes, I guess I've changed LA made me everything I hate about myself And so I'm changing I don't want anything I need Just take this apathy and envy, gluttony and greed, I guess I'll serve the PLUR Police, Until I find the peace the city needs So I can sleep in it— And I can finish writing my goodbye to everyone I love; Including me— I can't be S U P A C R E E, She's just a vigilante alien, a superpowered something Who should be mixing, But she's busy writing this. What is it? It's...A Saga. A Saga of What. Just—a saga. Oh, My God. No, I'm not— This is a lot. Look I promised. Promised what. This fucking Saga. Saga for What?! Everybody else is drunk and on drugs; I'm keeping the records of history that's lost. [meanwhile, lost in the sauce] LLLAAAALLAAKANSJSKahajajaaqwqwwewwAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Oh. I see. It's a lot. Ah. Carry on. Lost your shine? Lost my Skrillex! You miss it? Do I Miss—? … You know what? What. Fuck you, dude. ...no can do. [later] Are we relaxed? What is this? I need it. You fucked up. This isn't right. No, it isn't. — BLACKOUT. What happened here? Are we rolling? Cut to commercial. — Are you serious? I'm so serious!!! She's so serious. CUT TO: Grocery Store, Day [over the store radio] She's a maniac, maniac on the floor!! What is she DOING? What are you doing? I'm doing me, bitch. And she's dancing like she never has before. —cut to rave— ***WUBZ*** Who is this? I'm on my own tonight. Is she drinking?!? THATS NOT FAIR! Oh, Sweet Jesus! —regular Jesus: [to sweet Jesus] aha! It's you this time. Sweet Jesus: fuck, no fair. THIS ISN'T SKRILLEX. Sweet Baby Jesus. Sweet Jesus: (relieved) YES. Regular Jesus: Oh, you're saved. Nice. [Passes baby Jesus to Sweet Jesus, then footballing the infant into the outer realms, dusting his hands off and flexing.] Send the Messiah. Wait, which one? Yeah, whose Messiah? CUT BACK TO: ‘the rave' ...Who's baby is this? Woah, cool baby. I respect that. [The third raver simply lifts his diffraction glasses, astonished by the bedazzling baby Jesus's vibe.] Wait, Baby Jesus is bedazzled? MAYBE: CUT TO: A flash of the alternate dimension, where indeed baby Jesus is Bedazzled.] Cut back to: No, his vibe. Is he sparkling? It's his aura. Oh. Pfft. Lol. Okay. —- First of all, I've never had this many black friends before. .. Oh, my God… I am alarmed. She's so stupid… Actually, just ugly—! Eyyy. Woahhh! But now I'm— You're a fan. Hey—I ate a fan for breakfast—okay?! Literally. OKAY. Ew, gross. Just kill me. [without hesitation] HANZEL No—Ze Rulez. [Lowers Rave Weapon] __ I'm highly allergic— —Don't need Skrillex. Brought my own! — [stabs self] What is that? Oh shit, it's the EPI(c)PEN OH SHIT. Nice. It also writes. After the stab? Usually after, yes. You, have to. Oh, yeah, huh? No, you actually have to stab yourself first with it—or else it won't write. — Anyway—what were you trying to write? ...fuck, I forgot. Good job, Sonny. ___ Take me back! You wanted this. I wanted NOTHING. You got there! Agh!! Then when you did, you wanted to leave. There's no music. It's literally NOTHING. Except Jimmy Fallon. WHAT?! Since when?! What? Since literally ever. What?! No way. Let me see. Let me see. Oh my—WOAH. Let me see. Nothing is something! Unh-uh bro! What the— IT IS JIMMY FALLON. There will be Hell to pay!!!! Hell?! To pay?! Hah, yeah, right— You expect Satan to pay, dad—? He doesn't have any money—he just keeps making shit up and then making people give it to him for nothing. ...for nothing…? Yeah, literally nothing. The people that worship him go there instead of here or hell when they die. That's terrible. Yeah, and then when he gets it he keeps spending it on useless shit. He is a useless shit. He's nothing. I have to h/save my kid. // Alternately: I have to shave my kid! Lol. Okay, then. — It is terrible. Explain Jimmy— (((Jimmy Fallon has a galaxy…))) Raven Simone—*ahem* ((Incase Raven summons Raven Symons)) —-AHEM RAVEN SYMONE)) Don't forget the— RAVEN SYMONÉ. Which Jimmy—dead Jimmy or live Jimmy? Like, Jimmy Fally? Jimmy Fallon Live, Jimmy. Is this why—- JIMMY FALLON shhhhh shhhh—-!!!! they poured the pennies? Ah yeah, the last dollar… Westwood trees have good memories… What?? She can see dead people?! SO—Maybe—-maybe she can see Ricky!!!! WESTWOOOD, CALIFORNIA, 199? PASQUALE ROTELLA is a dashing young man; he and his friends are gathered, en route to a secret location. Pasquale, please— Come on, Ricky—can you tell me where we're going with these Daisies strapped to our knees????? —- There's that. Doompy Poomp Doompy* Poomp again I don't know what it's doing . ...He just does whatever he wants…

america god love jesus christ women american family california black president father lord google israel hollywood earth starting internet man los angeles rock lost body men dogs ghosts hell mexico magic americans living kingdom dj wild writing boys global pilot drop forever satan open mom silence dead blessed gods harry potter pass band watching suicide tokyo run created stuck planet captain jump thailand sons ugly burn bread figure millions saga period singing michael jackson gotta doors lol plays galaxy fuck guys highways fired wtf hide racist tap opens ascension lightning models finished eyes bitch settle simpson infinite idiots careful chamber shut void goddess fat idols musicians infinity mate divinity promised nah billie eilish wong mach map sh blackout acid bro almighty anarchy platinum cc kiwi mm rave jimmy fallon harsh bury naruto dozens hmmm crocs t mobile dressed cree my god maiden extended tie sunlight owl hm trifecta astral blacklist humbled freaky friday queue tits pornstars skrillex vanished fragments goddesses pretzels edd insomniacs twinkies just do it bruh pooping ew yiddish bounds imagine dragons oh my god aw interrogation shhh unacceptable novice overhead westwood goddamn baby jesus love it hookers gigantic organisms snails ganja actresses did you know ahem pasquale it doesn prevented wobble sequences omnipotence dillon francis butters supergroups ohh poetic justice take it hah daisies ow justin roiland freddy mercury old soul panicked shh luminaries heh colliding laz bedazzled fuck you unh touchy oh shit solid gold shhhhh dalmatian interplanetary dada life sunn gimmie double decker my car communication technologies all of them scary monsters god consciousness mmhmm agh oh hell no andy c lost lands all alone sweet jesus what the fuck satelite i hate you radio history fantastik hatian everything is everything which side are you on sweet baby jesus confiding liz lemon dude where raven simone my phone it worked are you okay superstar dj which jesus first of all jennifer h what kingdom pasquale rotella xanex this isn't happening
Brand Video Pro (The Podcast)
Tory Lanez SELLS OUT NFT Album - How NFTs & Ethereum Supports Global Warming

Brand Video Pro (The Podcast)

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2021 17:41


FIRST OF ALL, what's an NFT? Why did it help Ethereum's prices to shoot up this year? Why is it expediting global warming? And why Ethereum is expected to surpass Bitcoin #bitcoin #blockchain #cryptocurrency #cryptonews #help #news #cryptocurrencies #china #fintech #ethereum

Gary Church Podcast
S2:E8- "First of All”- Rev. Dr. Chris Pierson- October 31st, 2021

Gary Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2021 23:04


Hey, y'all! Welcome to the Gary Church Podcast . . . from Gary Church, here in Wheaton, IL. We would love to have you worship with us! You may find more information about our next worship service at www.garychurch.org. This is the scripture and sermon from October 31st, 2021!  Our scripture is read by Elaine McCluskey (00:05) and the sermon by Rev. Dr. Chris Pierson is entitled “First of All” (01:42). At Gary Church our mission is to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world!Mark  12:28-34Revised Common LectionaryVideo of the entire October 31st, 2021 Worship Service at Gary Church

The Shore Store
33: The New Girl (FEATURING CARLING & MICHELLE FROM I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS)

The Shore Store

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2021 77:25


FIRST OF ALL, check out I Did Not Sign Up For This Podcast ! www.patreon.com/ididnotsignupforthis Justine has fellow Canadian gals Carling & Michelle to discuss the Jersey Shore season 3 first episode and lots of other randomness ! if you haven't already, subscribe to my patreon for bonus content www.patreon.com/dimtu

Black Women's World w/ TracyMac
A SistaNista Is...

Black Women's World w/ TracyMac

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2021 36:16


What is a  SistaNista™? Maybe you heard the episode "First Of All" from Season I. If you did, knowing what a SistaNista is bears repeating in Season II. If you don't know what a SistaNista™ is listen to TracyMac, your Self-Discovery Companion and Your Favorite Podcast Host, share with you what it means to be a  SistaNista™. As always, TracyMac isn't holding anything back.  Nobody is giving it to you like this! You'll lean in for sure and you'll probably listen to it twice or more. Yep! Whether you're a SistaNista™ or a SistaNistaLover™, have your ears, mind, heart, earbuds, airpods, headphones or speakers ready. This ain't hype, but help, healing and hope. Count on it!*..If you've been there and done that you may as well wear the t-shirt while they're available at our BWWP Online Boutique https://www.blackwomensworld.com/online-store. ..If you'd like to connect with TracyMac beyond the podcast, we invite you visit https://www.blackwomensworld.com/..Website - https://www.blackwomensworld.com/..Instagram - blackwomensworld_podcast..Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/blackwomensworldpodcast..TracyMac's 3 Amazon Bestselling Books  - https://www.amazon.com/Tracy-McNeil/e/B00J9TQ606/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1..Theme music "Laid Back" by Creative Son Media, LLC “Hustle and Passion” Recorded 12/24/2020 ~ All rights reserved © 2020-2021 TRACYMAC™ Publishing...** Our sincere condolences to all of our #SistaNistas and #SistaNistaLovers all over the world who have lost loved ones, COVID-19 related or not. To those who have tested positive and are experiencing symptoms we are keeping you in our prayers for your recovery and continued wellness. May we all take the appropriate precautions that help preserve our own lives as well as help protect the physical health of others. ~Peace--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/blackwomensworld/message

The Dark Side Of Music With Derek Hanjora
Episode 64: Interview with Kai Rose

The Dark Side Of Music With Derek Hanjora

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2020 75:07


Born #Kel'Leiah McCarthy, Kai #Rose knew early that she was born to make music and to spread the message of #peace and #harmony that her chosen moniker means. The middle child in a family that was actively pursuing rap careers, #Kai followed her own path, penning #poetry and producing beats for others. However, it was the trying times of her youth—moving from home to home and living in a hotel room—that helped build strong character and made her ready to branch out. At 15, she was scouted by an artist and repertoire representative/indie filmmaker who brought her to #Charlotte, NC, to record beats for his films. Together, they also built a youth radio and television network called Next Kids Worldwide. The exposure led Kai to be invited to travel independently as a #motivational speaker for at-risk boys and girls. In her messages, she encouraged audiences to practice discipline, finish their education, take care of their physical health, and follow their dreams. That was also when she began interviewing other young artists and seeing the possibilities for her own future. Kai's dream included becoming a philanthropist someday in order to have a bigger platform to encourage and support people. Returning to #Michigan, Kai began writing music again (some of it with her talented father, James McCarthy III). However, it wasn't until early 2019that she felt ready to record. To that end, she started a record label called DA WAV LLC (an acronym for “Detroit Artist We Are Vibes”) with the intent of putting forth her own songs, as well as those of other rising stars in need of opportunity. While some fans describe Kai's music as pop or R&B, she calls it “chameleon funk” because “none of my songs sound like each other, even when they are in the same genre.” The artist, whose debut single was called “First Of All,” has been featured on Detroit's FOX 2 News, Hot 107.5Underground Summer Jamz and My TV20, The Mother Love Show on LA Talk Radio, and more. Currently, she's partnered with Parallel Sound Studios, which has collaborated on her other popular releases like “Truth Hurts,” “Pinky Promise,” and “Playa 2.” Kai has also released music videos via partnerships with #HBkwan, Wesley Snipes, and GM #Entertainment. Next, she plans to work with Atlanta's Dollah Jones, who has shot with fellow Detroit natives, The Clark Sisters. “When I hop on stage,” Kai says, “it's a reminder that I come from a place with soul and the roots of amazing creative and talented artists like myself.” Citing #Beyoncé, Megan Thee Stallion, #Kehlani, H.E.R., Cardi B, and Ella Mai as her inspirations, Kai Rose intends to make “huge ripples” in the #music industry. #Merch Store: www.dckproductions.com/shop #Betterhelp : www.betterhelp.com/sipod #VIKING REVOLUTION AFFILIATE LINKS Viking Revolution Beard Kit https://amzn.to/2E7ca83 Viking Revolution Beard Wash and Conditioner https://amzn.to/2OInwBg Viking Revolution Beard Oil 3 pack https://amzn.to/2CpXY9S Viking Revolution Beard Balm 3 pack https://amzn.to/32FT3vT Viking Revolution Pomade https://amzn.to/3eSFVpM Viking Revolution Quick Shower Wipes https://amzn.to/3fO6ii5 Viking Revolution Toilet Wipes https://amzn.to/32I8oMC MY FAVORITE #AMAZON PROUCTS AFFILIATE LINKS The #headphones I use From Beats https://amzn.to/2WG28RE My stream #camera bundle https://amzn.to/2CrhXFb #Elgato Cam Link https://amzn.to/3fP9D01 My Favorite Cooking Device https://amzn.to/39iNmWb My Favorite Beer Glasses https://amzn.to/2OMo6OF #beardedmen #vikingrevolution #beard #podcast #suckit #suckitpodcast #derek #music #celebrityinterviews --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thedarksideofmusic/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thedarksideofmusic/support

Welcome to sheckiiville, an audio journey of a Korean-born American going through love and business
Episode 011 // Minji Chang, Actor, Producer, 'First Of All' Podcast Host (Day 3 of 7 of My Birthday Week!)

Welcome to sheckiiville, an audio journey of a Korean-born American going through love and business

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2020 37:04


Some people claim to be real, and some are Minji Chang. The actor, producer, ‘First Of All' podcast host came on sheckiiville to not only talk about her journey in Hollywood, but much needed discussion about racism and sexism. Just to get you prepared, the word “should” is a main theme of our chat. Can't wait for y'all to meet Minji on sheckiiville today on day 3 of 7 on my birthday week. Text me at (213) 214-0970 if you want to chat about this personally :) And yes, that is my actual number. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sheckii/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sheckii/support

Corn on the Macabre
28 - CELEBRITY CRIMES & SIDEBAR CITY

Corn on the Macabre

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2020 107:38


"I just don't trust people named Billy" - FIRST OF ALL, Mac n Cheese with BBQ sauce and pulled pork is good, don't listen to Kelly. Here are some Hollywood crimes involving celebrities of the past - Kelly covers the Wonderland gang and Katie talks about the tragedy of Thelma Todd.

The Future of Medicine Podcast
Stroke Prevention

The Future of Medicine Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2019 21:22


WE ALL KNOW THAT STROKE IS A BIG DEAL. BUT ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING TO REDUCE YOUR RISKS? This week’s blog continues the conversation around heart disease, specifically stroke. Stroke falls under the umbrella of heart disease, along with high blood pressure and heart attack. I want to share with you the five most important things that you need to do to reduce your risk of stroke, and the two conversations that you need to be having with your doctor today. FIRST OF ALL, WHAT IS A STROKE? Stroke is a medical term that is used to define the death of brain cells. Just like in the heart attack, heart attack is the scientific term that we use to define the death of cardiac cells or heart cells. There are two main categories of strokes: 1. Ischemic (90%) 2. Hemorrhagic (10%) Ischemic strokes are caused when an artery is blocked. WHEN BRAIN CELLS DIE, WE CALL THAT A STROKE. There are two sub-categories of ischemic stroke which are embolic and thrombotic. 1. Embolic strokes: These are caused by a plaque, formed from cholesterol build up, that develops downstream and travels to blood vessels in the brain through the blood. 2. Thrombotic strokes: These are caused by a blood clot that develops within the brain’s blood vessels. Hemorrhagic strokes are caused by bleeding. Less than 10% of strokes are hemorrhagic, but they are the deadliest. HERE ARE THE 5 MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS IN REDUCING YOUR STROKE RISK. 1) Improve your cholesterol numbers. Total cholesterol really means nothing. What we really need to be looking at is the numbers within the total cholesterol. HDL (good cholesterol) needs to be above 55 and as high as possible. LDL (bad cholesterol) and small dense LDL needs to be as low as possible, and under 100. Triglycerides need to be under 150, preferably under 100. 2) Lower your blood pressure. Listen, a blood pressure that’s mildly elevated isn’t a problem today, or next week, or next month. But, the long term wear and tear of having high blood pressure hitting the blood vessels in your brain is really devastating. By definition, hypertension is a blood pressure above 135/85. Normal blood pressure is under 120 for the systolic (top number), and under 80 for the diastolic (bottom number). 3) Fix your diet. Most of us are chronically eating things that raise blood sugar. When your blood sugar is elevated, it triggers an insulin response which also increases all of the inflammatory markers in your body. The best way to normalize your blood sugar is to limit your carbohydrate intake to low sugar fruits, and veggies. Eliminate or restrict bread, grains, rice, pastas, and soft drinks. 4) Stop smoking. Smoking is a big, big deal. Cigarette smoke is a toxin which irritates the lining of blood vessels and causes inflammation and weak, penetrable vessel walls where cholesterol embeds and forms plaques. And, if you’re a diabetic that smokes, goodness, you are feeding the dragon of heart disease and stroke. So please, I know it’s hard, but… You’ve got to find a way to quit. 5) Normalize your blood sugar. The holy grail of weight loss and all diseases, is normalizing your blood sugar. When your blood sugar is high, you are in a hyper insulin state, which causes diseases like heart disease to flare up. HERE ARE TWO CONVERSATIONS YOU NEED TO BE HAVING WITH YOUR DOCTOR AROUND STROKE. 1. How can I normalize my blood sugar? Strict carbohydrate control should be the backbone of your plan. Carbohydrates raise blood sugar and cause a hyper insulin state, leading to in

The Future of Medicine Podcast
Stroke Prevention

The Future of Medicine Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2019 21:22


WE ALL KNOW THAT STROKE IS A BIG DEAL. BUT ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING TO REDUCE YOUR RISKS? This week’s blog continues the conversation around heart disease, specifically stroke. Stroke falls under the umbrella of heart disease, along with high blood pressure and heart attack. I want to share with you the five most important things that you need to do to reduce your risk of stroke, and the two conversations that you need to be having with your doctor today. FIRST OF ALL, WHAT IS A STROKE? Stroke is a medical term that is used to define the death of brain cells. Just like in the heart attack, heart attack is the scientific term that we use to define the death of cardiac cells or heart cells. There are two main categories of strokes: 1. Ischemic (90%) 2. Hemorrhagic (10%) Ischemic strokes are caused when an artery is blocked. WHEN BRAIN CELLS DIE, WE CALL THAT A STROKE. There are two sub-categories of ischemic stroke which are embolic and thrombotic. 1. Embolic strokes: These are caused by a plaque, formed from cholesterol build up, that develops downstream and travels to blood vessels in the brain through the blood. 2. Thrombotic strokes: These are caused by a blood clot that develops within the brain’s blood vessels. Hemorrhagic strokes are caused by bleeding. Less than 10% of strokes are hemorrhagic, but they are the deadliest. HERE ARE THE 5 MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS IN REDUCING YOUR STROKE RISK. 1) Improve your cholesterol numbers. Total cholesterol really means nothing. What we really need to be looking at is the numbers within the total cholesterol. HDL (good cholesterol) needs to be above 55 and as high as possible. LDL (bad cholesterol) and small dense LDL needs to be as low as possible, and under 100. Triglycerides need to be under 150, preferably under 100. 2) Lower your blood pressure. Listen, a blood pressure that’s mildly elevated isn’t a problem today, or next week, or next month. But, the long term wear and tear of having high blood pressure hitting the blood vessels in your brain is really devastating. By definition, hypertension is a blood pressure above 135/85. Normal blood pressure is under 120 for the systolic (top number), and under 80 for the diastolic (bottom number). 3) Fix your diet. Most of us are chronically eating things that raise blood sugar. When your blood sugar is elevated, it triggers an insulin response which also increases all of the inflammatory markers in your body. The best way to normalize your blood sugar is to limit your carbohydrate intake to low sugar fruits, and veggies. Eliminate or restrict bread, grains, rice, pastas, and soft drinks. 4) Stop smoking. Smoking is a big, big deal. Cigarette smoke is a toxin which irritates the lining of blood vessels and causes inflammation and weak, penetrable vessel walls where cholesterol embeds and forms plaques. And, if you’re a diabetic that smokes, goodness, you are feeding the dragon of heart disease and stroke. So please, I know it’s hard, but… You’ve got to find a way to quit. 5) Normalize your blood sugar. The holy grail of weight loss and all diseases, is normalizing your blood sugar. When your blood sugar is high, you are in a hyper insulin state, which causes diseases like heart disease to flare up. HERE ARE TWO CONVERSATIONS YOU NEED TO BE HAVING WITH YOUR DOCTOR AROUND STROKE. 1. How can I normalize my blood sugar? Strict carbohydrate control should be the backbone of your plan. Carbohydrates raise blood sugar and cause a hyper insulin state, leading to in