Podcasts about Playboy

14-year-old Danielle Bell was still a child when she fell in with a group of men who preyed on teenage girls. Within six months of meeting these men, she disappeared. Danielle still hasn't been found. Danielle was last seen on September 28th, 2001 in Pensacola, Florida. She was reported to be wearing a sky-blue halter top with glitter in the fabric, a blue Tommy Hilfiger jacket, black pants, black dress shoes with a medium heel, a dolphin-shaped ring, a heart-shaped ring, a silver neck chain, diamond earrings, a gold ring set with an emerald and two diamonds, and a gold ring set with a ruby and a garnet. She was carrying a Tommy Hilfiger purse. She has light brown hair, blue eyes, and a scar on her right forearm. Her ears are pierced and navel may be pierced. She has a small, homemade tattoo of a purple Playboy bunny on her pelvic area. She may also go by Dani. If you have any information about the disappearance of Danielle Arion Bell, please contact the Escambia County Sheriff's Office at (850)436-9620 Special thanks to Bonnie Bell, Danielle's sister, for granting us permission to cover Bonnie's case and for her guidance and taking the time to be interviewed. Her support is deeply appreciated. Listen Ad Free And Get Access to Exclusive Journal Entries Episodes: Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4HEzJSwElA7MkbYYie9Jin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/themurderdiariespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple: Hit subscribe/ 1 week free trail available Music Used: Walking with the Dead by Maia Wynne Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Maiah_Wynne/Live_at_KBOO_for_A_Popcalypse_11012017⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ License: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our Links: Link Hub: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://msha.ke/themurderdiaries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/themurderdiariespod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Edited by: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.landispodcastediting.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My friend, Ed, thought he had the perfect hiding place, and he told me about it. Now, Ed's not really his name, but it is a true story. The incident happened this way. Some years ago when he was a teenager, and he came from a nice Christian family - nice Christian boy, except for some of his reading material. Now, it was before Internet days but there was a magazine called Playboy. He had a habit of going out and buying Playboy and some other magazines like it, and he hid them in an old, unused icebox where no one ever went. And he was sure no one knew the place. Well, when he went to get his dirty magazines one day, they were gone. But that's only part of it. In their place there was a Bible. He knew his dad had to leave it there. There was never any yelling, his dad never talked to him about it, but he bought no more magazines because of that little switch his dad had made. I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "The Royal Switch." Our word for today from the Word of God comes from 2 Corinthians 10, and I'm going to begin reading at verse 3. "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Now, this talks about weapons that will tear down strongholds. And as you study this passage, it becomes obvious that spiritual strongholds are sinful ways of thinking that, well, maybe they've been part of our personality for a long time. Maybe they're wrong ways of thinking about the opposite sex, about depressing feelings in your life, or about a relationship with someone who's hurt you, maybe it's lust, or depression, or bitterness, or self-pity. But it's got a strong hold on us. And then it goes on to say, "We can take captive every one of those wrong thoughts to the obedience of Christ." Now, until you can master the source of sin, which is your wrong thoughts, that sin will master you. How do you do that? Well, Ephesians 6:17 talks about the spiritual weapon that will work. It says, "Take the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." learn a lesson from a friend's wise father. Where there had been dirt in the form of those magazines, he put God's Word. He didn't just remove the dirty; he replaced it with a Bible. Now, if you want to beat sin...if you want to beat those wrong thoughts, then you've got to have two strategies working for you. First, take out the garbage - the garbage thoughts - and don't collect any more. That means turning your eyes away from the magazine rack. It means flipping the channel when something comes on that has no business going into your mental computer. It means not ever clicking again to go to those places on the Internet. It may mean, as it did for some of my friends, of putting a picture of Jesus on their computer, or another man who said, "I can't even afford to have a computer at home. I've got to beat the monster inside." It may mean avoiding negative conversations that fuel the dark side of you; canceling a subscription to a magazine, or a streaming service, or monitoring the music you listen to - whatever it takes to be free of the bondage. Secondly, you have to put the Bible where the dirt has been. You take a Bible bath daily. You dwell on what you read. You write it down in a journal so you remember it. You use it that day so it becomes part of your personality. There's no substitute for memorizing the Word of God. D. L. Moody said it so well, "Think sin - think scripture." I like what someone wrote in my Bible one time, "Either sin will keep you from this book, or this book will keep you from sin." Now you have a weapon that can tear down a stronghold of sin and tame the most sinful of thoughts. "Thy Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against Thee." Put God's Word in the same hiding place where you've been hiding that sinful stuff. That is the royal switch.

Sie war Profi-Boxerin, strahlte vom Playboy und diesen Monat ihn an: Ihn, der während der Corona-Pandemie mit Comedy das Internet eroberte. Mittlerweile füllt er damit Hallen, ist als Schauspieler gefragt und sitzt beruflich vor Mikrofonen – auch vor unserem. Wir dürfen gespannt sein! Lass uns gerne eine Bewertung da! Feedback, Freundschaftsbriefe & liebe Grüße an: 1plus1@swr3.de. Eine neue Folge gibt es jeden Mittwoch auf SWR3.de, in der ARD Audiothek und überall, wo es Podcasts gibt. Mehr Infos zum Podcast gibt es auf SWR3.de. 1 plus 1 – Freundschaft auf Zeit ist ein Podcast von SWR3. Produktion: Mit Vergnügen. Produktion: Lina Britt Bajorat und Jo Bischofberger Redaktion: Gissi Winkler, Annamaria Meister und Annika Bingger Schnitt & Mix: Sebastian Wellendorf und Maximilian Frisch Sprecher*in: Maximiliane Häcke und in den Teasern Max Richard Leßmann Line Producer: Lisa Golinski und Marc Bürkle Außerdem an diesem Podcast beteiligt: Maxi Stumm und Amelie Kern

Bob Boze Bell has been a friend for over a decade and has provided various features on western titles by L. Ron Hubbard in True West Magazine. His work has appeared in Arizona Highways, Playboy, National Lampoon, the Arizona Republic, and True West magazine. For ten years (2002-2012), he produced a video version of True West Moments, which aired on the Westerns Channel. In this episode, we discuss what makes a Western story different from other genres, along with the role of research in good storytelling. Bob was ahead of the curve in using social media to grow the popularity of True West Magazine, which we also cover. BBB can currently be seen on the series “Gunslingers,” which runs on the American Heroes Channel. Triple B is also the President and executive editor of True West magazine, positions he has held since 1999. He has written a dozen books on Old West characters, including Billy the Kid, Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, and Wild Bill Hickok, as well as a three-part series (so far) on Classic Gunfights, which appear in True West. Learn more about Bob and True West Magazine at blog.truewestmagazine.com/

In this episode, the focus is on clergy abuse—a topic made even more pressing by recent headlines. The featured guest, Sandy Phillips Kirkham, shares her harrowing ordeal of being abused by a charismatic youth pastor starting at the age of 16. Sandy discusses the grooming process, the five years of abuse, and how she was ultimately expelled from her church while her abuser was merely relocated. She delves into the long-lasting impact of the abuse on her life and her spiritual journey, how she concealed her trauma for 27 years, and how she ultimately confronted her abuser. Sandy also provides valuable insights and actionable advice for preventing abuse and supporting victims within church communities. Her story is also detailed in her book, ‘Let Me Prey on You,' which offers a detailed account of her journey from victim to advocate. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:32 Introducing Today's Topic: Clergy Abuse 02:17 Sandy Phillips Kirkham's Early Life and Church Involvement 06:22 Meeting the Abuser: The Charismatic Youth Pastor 08:43 Red Flags and Grooming Tactics 13:51 The First Inappropriate Act 16:37 The Abuse Escalates 21:06 The Aftermath and Church's Response 28:15 Life After Abuse: Marriage and Keeping Secrets 32:09 Protecting Future Generations 35:17 The Importance of Sex Education in the Church 36:32 Techniques for Discussing Sex with Children 37:22 Personal Experiences with Sex Education 38:20 Triggering Memories and Emotional Breakdown 40:13 The Journey of Healing Begins 41:31 Understanding Clergy Abuse and Self-Forgiveness 43:52 Confronting the Abuser 47:07 Challenges in Seeking Justice 54:47 Preventing Abuse in the Church 01:00:31 Supporting Victims of Clergy Abuse 01:05:07 Final Thoughts and Resources Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.” https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/ https://www.facebook.com/KirkhamAuthor/  sandykirkhamauthor@gmail.com  Purchase her book “Let Me Prey Upon You” on amazon: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/let-me-prey-upon-you/   Link Tree   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/   Sandy Phillips Kirkham [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello. Welcome everyone. Welcome to my regular listeners, as well as some new listeners that have joined us today. I have a great guest for you today. We're going to be talking about clergy abuse today. Religious leader, abuse. Pastor, youth leader. You've seen this in the news recently with all these preachers being arrested or charged with sexual misconduct or rape or [00:02:00] pedophilia. I'm sure you've seen the news. Well, today we're going to hear a story about a woman who's been victimized in that way and she's fighting back. So let me read her bio for you. A church is where an insecure 16-year-old girl should feel welcome, happy, and most importantly, safe tragically. For some, the church can become a place of great harm. Sandy Phillips Kirkham details her account of how charismatic youth minister preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken with a shattered faith and the ultimate shame of being blamed enforced from the church she loved. Despite a successful and happy life, is a wife, mother, and friend. Sandy successfully concealed her abuse for [00:03:00] 27 years until a trigger forced her to face the truth. Sandy's story will take you on her journey of healing. Her strength and courage will inspire you. Let me pray upon you her book details. Sandy's journey from innocent 16-year-old, a victim to a survivor, and advocate. We please welcome Sandy Phillips. Kirk, welcome Sandy to the show. Thanks so much for coming on. Well, thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. Wow. So I've been listening to you on the Preacher Boys podcast and thought you had a really great story, and so I wanted to come and bring you on so my listeners can hear your story as well. Mm-hmm. So tell us a little bit about your home and your church environment growing up. Let's [00:04:00] start from the beginning here. Okay. I'm the oldest of five. My parents were divorced when I was about seven, which that was really the impact of my life, of just how it altered everything about that time in my life. Then my mother remarried and we moved in with my stepfather shortly after my father remarried, and so I was dealing with these blended families and it was just very confusing for me at the time, my parents and stepfather did not attend church. So I, I wasn't a part of a church until I was about eight, and that's when my best friend who lived up the street invited me to go with their family, and I went with them and I went every Sunday after that, I absolutely fell in love with church. It was a place that I felt safe. I think it provided for me a place away from home that I felt comfortable and I got attention there. I was very active even as a small child. I went to vacation Bible school, church camp, love Sunday School. I sang in a junior choir. Really, it was a just a great place for me to [00:05:00] be. When I was 13, I was baptized and then my faith really deepened and my involvement in the church became even more so, started teaching Sunday school and teaching vacation Bible school. I started serving on committees with adults and doing more of the activities that would, , just be more in depth than just typical youth group activities. So, it's just no exaggeration to say that if the doors of the church were open, I was there and I loved it. I loved serving God. I felt that was the place for me, and everything about it was brought me joy and peace in the church. Wow. You really, were very sincere in your faith. It was not a fake one. I hear a lot of stories of. Being brought up in the church and being made to go to church and, you just go through the motions kind of thing. But it sounds like it was the opposite for you. It was that you really believed this with all your heart. Was that a fundamental Baptist church you were going [00:06:00] to or what? It was a church, Christ Christian Church, which is similar to the Baptist. It's an independent church. Yeah, that's the church. That was so something happened while you were serving the Lord and loving God. You met your abuser? Yes. Shortly after I turned 16, our church hired a new youth pastor, and from the moment he arrived, he was totally different than anyone we'd ever seen before. He was very charismatic, very dynamic. His sermons were really like nothing we'd ever heard before, and people were just drawn to him. He had a personality that people found themselves wanting to be around him. They wanted to please him. So he was very good at asking people to do things and they didn't hesitate. It, it was just a different kind of atmosphere. When he came to the church, the youth group exploded in numbers. We went from like 25 to almost 200 in a very short time. Even the [00:07:00] adult church was growing because people just came to hear him preach because he was so good at what he did. He was 30, married with two children, but he really acted more like our age group. He dressed like we did. He. Went to our football games at school, he knew our music. So he just, he really, he was tuned into us and in return we found ourselves, all of us being willing to please him and wanna do anything we could to make the youth group and the church better. So when people think of a profile of a child abuser, they usually think, oh, some dirty old man, that his roaming fingers or what have you, but this youth pastor sounded like, okay, he was really good looking and hip and really loved the young people. Mm-hmm. Is that typical of. Well, it's, it's typical in the sense that it's not the, dirty old man hiding in the bushes. Most abusers [00:08:00] are people we know. They're people that we like. They're usually people that, connect with people very well, and that's what makes them so dangerous because they're not obvious with what they do, and they're very good at that. They pretend to be one of us. They pretend to care, but in reality, their goal is to find a way to take advantage of the most vulnerable in, in the group. And so, predators are usually drawn to places where they will find vulnerable people. The gymnastics team is an example of that. The Boy Scouts, anywhere where you can, and certainly the church because we are welcoming into people who are in need. Oftentimes. Then there are many people in the church who are vulnerable to these types of men, and sometimes women. Were there any red flags? That you should have seen or noticed when you were around this youth pastor? Well, he came with so many different ideas and different ways of doing things. And one of the things that he was doing now, this was in the [00:09:00] seventies, so cultures were changing and it was free love and kind of thing. But he came into our church and he expected everyone to hug each other. So we were always hugging each other. And he also expected us to say how much we loved each other and that we love you and not just that I love you in Christ. He would simply walk up, give you a hug and say, I love you. Now you know, that may seem innocent, but that's a little odd for that pastor to be saying those kinds of things. And it also blurs the lines because when you say to someone, I love you, that can be confusing to. Young teenagers and even to vulnerable adults. So, but he did that with everybody. It wasn't like he picked someone else special, but, so the hugging in the contact was kind of a red flag in the beginning. But for me personally, I babysat for his family. His wife worked evenings. Mm-hmm. So one night after he came home, he asked me to go to his basement and listen to a song by Neil Diamond. [00:10:00] Well, it felt a little weird 'cause I'd never. I've been around a pastor that wanted to talk to me about anything but church in the Bible. But I went to the basement. Yeah. I mean a Neil Diamond song. So I went to the basement. I know, but that's a trigger factor for me sometimes. So anyway, I went to the basement and he put this record on and I sat down on the couch and instead of sitting in a chair or another place, he came on the couch and sat very close to me. And I remember feeling uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. 'cause I thought, well, he is just sitting next to me. It's no big deal. But that's a red flag that I felt because it felt uncomfortable to me. And then the other times that I would babysit for him. His wife wouldn't come home till late in the evening, so he would come home around seven or eight and after the kids were in bed, instead of taking me home, he wanted me to sit and talk with him all evening. So we'd talk about the Bible or we'd talk about church, and sometimes he'd ask me what I thought of his [00:11:00] sermon, which at age 16, I'm flattered that this man has any idea that I would have some opinion about this great sermon that he just gave. So I didn't see anything wrong with that because he's my pastor. But had that occurred with my 30-year-old neighbor down the street, every time I went to babysit, I know I would've come home to my mother and said, okay, this is weird. Mm-hmm. Every time I babysit, this man wants to sit and talk to me all evening. I mean, what interest would I have as a teenager wanting to talk to this 30-year-old married man? But because my pastor was who he was and he tapped into our common connection of the church and God, and again, many times he would give me books to read 'cause he wanted me to get better in my deep, in my spirituality. So I didn't see anything wrong with it because of who he was. And so I just accepted that behavior, which is another tool and technique. They look for ways to get into you. Mm-hmm. [00:12:00] That don't seem obvious. And that was, so those were two red flags for me. Now as far as the congregation goes, I was in his office a lot by myself, but so were other kids, because he would actually call us into his office and say, I want you to come in and tell me what's going on in your life. Talk to me about your problems. Instead of us going to him, he would encourage us to come into his office. So while that probably wasn't a good thing, no one saw it as a bad thing. It seemed normal, but he called me into his office a lot more than the other kids. And later on there were people who did say to me, there were times when I wondered why he said something to you like that, or I noticed something one time. And so I think people notice some things, but no one thought enough of it to say, okay, there's something going on that doesn't seem right. So those were the red flags that I think in the beginning were very subtle. But they were hard to see, [00:13:00] and this is really important to distinguish these things because I was groomed by a guidance counselor in seventh grade. Mm-hmm. But he was one of those dirty old men that, he was doing creepy stuff. Yeah. But I never would have seen myself. A pastor and he's talking about spiritual things and he's talking about God and mm-hmm. He's not talking about sex. He's not watching, you're not watching dirty movies together. No, he's not, buying you sexy lingerie. It's, Hey, he's doing spiritual things. Mm-hmm. It's a setup. It's that grooming process you're talking about. It's pulling someone in to gain their trust, in a very di diabolical way, because he's using the church to do that. That's really scary. That scares mm-hmm. Scares me to death. What were the first times that he did something really inappropriate that you were just like, whoa? Well, the very [00:14:00] first time, was after a youth group meeting that was held in my home. I was the song leader. He put me in a leadership position, and it was very important to him that the evening always go well and that we were to make people feel welcome. And so at the end of the evening, I was nervous because I wanted to make sure that he thought everything went well. And he came up to me in my hallway and began telling me how great the evening was and how proud he was of me. And I was on Cloud nine. I was flattered that he felt that way. I felt good that the evening went so well. And then he just slowly bent down and he kissed me. And it wasn't, it was a kiss, but it seemed somewhat innocent to some extent. And I, I remember thinking, I think he just kissed me. Then my next thought was, well, he's my pastor and I don't think he would be doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And it was just a quick kiss. And he's always hugging people. And so maybe this is just his way of showing his appreciation for the evening. It was really [00:15:00] the only way in my 16-year-old mind that I could justify it because I couldn't think about this man doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And this was a person that everyone loved and thought so highly of, so how could I think he was doing something he shouldn't be doing? So I just let it go. I didn't think anything more about it. I mean, did you have any sex ed or anything? Did you know the birds and bees? Nine. Well, yeah, I'm 16. I did. Yeah, I did. But I wasn't, I hadn't dated much. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, so I hadn't had any dating experience. I had one kiss before this with a boy at camp. So I wasn't. Worldly or knowledgeable about all those things. But, and again, it was such a quick innocent type kiss. He didn't grab me, he didn't push me against the wall. I just, and again, I think for me it was okay if he's, if this is more than just a kiss, then what do I do with it? So therefore I'm just gonna say it's [00:16:00] nothing because I don't know what else to do. Um, wow. I let it go. I let it go. But as I babysat for him, he, sometimes when I would leave, he would kiss me and sometimes he wouldn't. So, I didn't see it as a con, kind of a continual thing that he was always wanting to kiss me. He always hugged me. But the kissing became more intense as it went along. So it, it would be another year, before he would have sex with me. And so that grooming process and kind of pushing the boundaries each time he was with me, finally ended with him having sex with me. Oh, wow. Now, some of us listening are like an adult having sex with a child or 16-year-old. Can you unpack that a little bit more, the process of how he got to that point? I mean, that the first time you had intercourse, I mean, did he, you know, go to a hotel with you and you had a candlelight dinner, or was it in the backseat of the car?[00:17:00] Was it an accident? It wasn't an accident. He was very deliberate and I had every intentions of having sex with me that night. I babysat, I was babysitting, I put the kids to bed, I walked down the steps. I assumed that we would go into the living room. Or the family room, sit on the couch and talk about the things we always talked about. But instead, he stopped me at the bottom of the stairs and he took me into the living room, and immediately put me on the floor and began undressing me. Um, and wow, I froze. I, I literally froze and I kept thinking to myself, he's going to stop. He's going to stop. And that the entire time he's whispering into my ear how much he loves me, that he would never hurt me, and that he can, I can trust him. And then he kept asking me, do you love me? Do you love me? And I, of course, I'm answering yes, because well, yes I do, because that's what I've told him for the past year. I, I, I just, I was so confused and what my real reaction was, I froze. Mm-hmm. Um, he, he sort of pushed my head under the [00:18:00] stereo. And so when he is starting to get farther than I thought he would ever go. I blocked, I just blocked it out and I started reading the serial numbers underneath the stereo. Oh my goodness. Just to be thinking of anything else. Um, at one point he then just picked me up and took me upstairs. He literally put me on the bed, penetrated me, and that was it. And I was horrified. I was absolutely horrified. I, I wanted to cry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Um, he left the room, told me to get dressed, and he would take me home. And I remember sitting on the bed and I put the bedspread around me because I was so embarrassed that I didn't have my clothes on. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Um, and then I just remember thinking I just had sex. I'm no longer a virgin. I just had sex with this man and. He took me home. Now, in the [00:19:00] book, of course, I go into a little bit more detail, but Right, he took me home and just before I got outta the car, he said to me, now, you know, this is something between the two of us, you can't tell anyone. And of course I'm thinking, who would I tell? I, I don't want anybody to know. I just did this. So, that was the first time. And then I think I, at that point I kept thinking, you know, I've had sex with him. So now I'm committed to him again. I'm at this point, I'm 17 years old. I'm still like, what do I do with this? I don't, I don't know what to do with this. Um, and he was convincing me that he loved me. He was convincing me that he needed me in his ministry and that God, this was God's will in our lives. He threw that at me. Eventually he would say to me that we were married in God's eyes. I mean, twisting the scripture and using God as a reason that we should be together. And so. I started to accept that. There were a couple times I went to him and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. I felt [00:20:00] guilty. He would respond in one of two ways. One, he would say to me how much he needed me, how much he loved me, and that he couldn't live without me. So that was the guilt part of it. Or he would respond and by saying to me, you know, you're no longer a virgin. No one else is gonna want you. I'm the only one that knows how to love you, and you are committed to me, and this is gonna be the way it is. And I saw no way out. I didn't see a way out. And so the relationship continued for five years. Wow. Five years. It went on for five years. That is a long time. And it, during that time, he became more aggressive physically. Uh, he hit me. He became sexually more deviant. It just progressed. It got worse and worse. And to a point that I finally, I was, my self-esteem was so low. I hated myself for what I'd been doing. So I finally just accepted that this was my life. I knew [00:21:00] I'd never get married. I knew I'd never have children, and this wouldn't be over until he said it was over. This went on for five years and nobody in the church noticed it. Your parents didn't notice it. You know, people say, well, where were your parents? Well, first of all, my parents were thrilled. I was in church. I mean, this was a time in the seventies when drugs were. Prevalent girls were, having free sex. So for them, what safer place could there be than to be in church? So, and they saw his intention toward me and his involvement with me as a good thing. I mean, he would take me on hospital visits with him. I mean, they saw this as being positive. And they knew how much I loved being there and that it was a place that I liked to go. So they didn't see it. And many in the church didn't see it began because who suspects the pastor of such behavior. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And especially in the seventies when this wasn't an open topic like it is now, you wouldn't have dared thought anything like that. And so [00:22:00] it's not uncommon for people in the church, to miss the signs and to ignore what they really do see, because they just can't believe that it would be something that would be happening in their church because then they'd have to do something about it. Yes, exactly. When did it all come crumbling down? It does crumble. Eventually it does. Two elders became suspicious and followed him one night and found us together in a hotel room. And then from then on, the next month and a half was an absolute nightmare for me. Hmm. It was initially hoped that they could keep what he had done, quiet and keep it from the congregation. Now, I have to say one thing before I forget. This wasn't his first incident of sexual misconduct. Oh. Prior to and just after he was awri, he arrived at our church. A young woman from his first church came forward and accused him of sexual misconduct. When he was [00:23:00] confronted by my elders, he didn't deny it. He said it was true. He asked for forgiveness, that it would never happen again. It was a mistake. So within six months. That's when he was kissing me in my hallway. So this, so these elders were aware that this was the second time that there had been an incident with this man of sexual abuse and misconduct. But in spite of that, they tried to keep it quiet in hopes of moving him to another church. And so I was told during that time where I was to sit, how I was to respond to questions. I wasn't to talk to anyone. I wasn't to tell anyone about what had happened, including my parents. And this was all in an effort to keep it quiet. Well, that effort failed. And so it was determined that he should address the congregation. He did it in a very vague way, just simply said that he'd sinned. He'd sinned against God, and he'd sinned against his wife. And that was his confession. That was it. Two days later, he had me meet [00:24:00] him in a hotel room after that confession in front of the congregation. Now. He was moved to the next church. He was given a going away party. There was actually a vote to maybe keep him, but the vote failed and they decided to move him to the next church. About, two weeks, three weeks later, I was called in by the elders, and this is probably the hardest part of my story for me. Mm-hmm. I was called in by the elders and I was told that because of my behavior I was to leave the church. I was devastated. I loved that church. It was the only church I knew, and here I was being told by these two elders that I wasn't fit to worship there any longer. Mm-hmm. He could be forgiven and given a second, third chance. I couldn't be, I was told that to leave the church. I wasn't given any counseling. I wasn't helped in any way. I was simply told to leave and I did. I left. [00:25:00] And that I told people many times, as horrific as the abuse was, having been told to leave, that church had a greater impact on me spiritually than the actual abuse did. I don't think I ever recovered from that. It still haunts me to this day to some extent. That response of the church really devastated me. So that was the crumbling, as you called it? It came crashing down and I would, I left the church. So did that change your perception of God? What was your relationship with God this time? Yes. You were kicked outta the church, but. Well, I felt a disconnect from God. I never blamed God. I never felt like God caused this to happen. I, in fact, I carry the blame and the shame. I felt guilty for what I had done. And so I never blamed God, but because of the relationship being tied in with God and the [00:26:00] prayers that this man would give, and then, you know, he'd give these wonderful sermons about marriage and sanctity of marriage on a Sunday morning after having sex with me the night before. I had difficulty separating all of that, and there were so many trigger factors associated with the church and prayer that God really did. It was hard for me to have any kind of relationship with God. I did. I didn't become an atheist like a lot of victims do, and who become angry at God. I simply just. I just put him on the back burner. I knew he existed, but I didn't have a connection with him any longer. So for 27 years, I, I never prayed. I never opened my Bible. I went to church because when I met my husband, he was a Methodist. And I thought, well, I'll go to the Methodist Church. It's a different denomination. Mm-hmm. I'll just go on. It should be fine. It didn't work that way. I had anxiety attacks in church. I, his [00:27:00] reminders of him were constant, but I forced myself to go. I made sure that I went because I knew when we had children, I wanted them to have that church experience. But every time I walked past the minister's office, I got a knot in my stomach. Oh yeah. It had nothing to do with that minister. But you understand that. I mean, it, but I did that for 27 years. It became my norm. I just knew that when I walked past that office, I was gonna get a knock my stomach, certain hymns. I can tell you what his favorite hymn was, and every time that was played, that's who I thought of. I couldn't pray. It was so, I did have a deep, deep disconnect for 27 years, and I have to tell you, I missed it. I actually mourn that loss of my spiritual life, but I didn't know how to get it back. Because I'm keeping this secret. I'm still carrying guilt and shame. I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't feel worthy to be in church. So with all of that mixed in, I just put myself on autopilot and said, [00:28:00] well, this is the way my life will be and I'll just have to accept it. It just sounds so unfair. Somebody that loves the Lord so much and served in the church and so innocent and being kicked out. Oh, but it sounded like maybe meeting your husband would've been a positive thing for you. How did you guys meet? I actually worked at his office, so I met him there. We dated for about two years, and I just found him to be a kind, loving soul. He was very unassuming. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't, he wasn't a boastful type of person. He didn't like taking credit for things, even though he deserved it sometimes. He was just a good hearted person, and I just, I fell in love with him immediately. I really did. I thought this was a great, great guy. I mean, I will tell you, I have said many times because before I met him, I was on a destructive path. I did not have any self-esteem. [00:29:00] I saw myself just simply as some sex object that, I was only good for that. And so when I met him, he saved my life because he loved me for who I was and showed me that I was worthy. So I've often said to him, you saved my life, and he will respond back with you made mine, and you can't get any better than that. So meeting him was a turning point for me, but I kept a secret from him for 27 years, and I lived in fear that he'd always find out that I'd had this affair with a married man. And I know in my heart that it wouldn't have made a difference to him. But people who've been abused never forget the words, don't ever tell. And I never forgot those words. And I never forgot what the consequences could be if I were to tell someone. Because when my elders found out, they blamed me. And I, I couldn't bear the thought that if I were to tell him. [00:30:00] Somehow he would find fault with me, or I wondered, would he wonder why I didn't feel confident enough to tell him? Would he feel betrayed that I kept a secret? Would he see me differently sexually? All those fears that I had while unfounded were still present in my mind. And so I never could tell him. And I had to do a lot of play acting and pretending, through our married life in the sense that the times I was having trigger factors, I had to hide them. And I know he would've been supportive, but I couldn't see that. Because while trauma affects you at the time of the abuse, it's lifelong. It doesn't leave you. And so I lived with that for 27 years. So did you have. Intimacy issues when you were together? Was that what you're talking about? The triggering? No, I, know a lot of victims do, and that's understandable. I really didn't, because he was so different from my abuser [00:31:00] and I recognized that my abuser was emotionally violent mm-hmm. And physically, he just wasn't loving in any sense of the word. I was simply used for sex. Mm-hmm. And I didn't have that with my husband. And so I could separate that a little bit. But I think the guilt of hiding the secret had an impact on our marriage as far as my able to be intimate with him in an emotional way. I'm really glad to hear that. I, you are not the first person that I've heard that. The victim has hidden a secret from her husband. I passed her and a pastor's wife and her husband did not know. Mm-hmm. Children didn't know, and it was a family member that was the abuser. And I kept telling her, you've got to tell him. Mm-hmm. You know why? It's because, and I was thinking this when I was listening to your, the other shows that you were on. I'm thinking about your children and your grandchildren. If I was abused, [00:32:00] I would be like. How do I keep my children and grandchildren from going through what I just went through, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, that's an interesting thing because most people would assume that my daughter, I would've been all over it and worried sick every time she left the house. Yeah. But I actually had the opposite, reaction because keep in mind, I didn't see myself as an abuse victim. I saw myself as someone who participated, who willingly went into this relationship and stayed in it willingly, which is not the case when you're abused. There's the control, the manipulation, all of those things that play into keeping a victim in a relationship and they see no way out. So for me, I just assumed I got one bad apple in the whole barrel, that this didn't happen to other people and that I had an affair. But my daughter, who I knew, she would never have an affair with a married man, I just knew that. So I. Sent her on [00:33:00] retreats. I sent her to church camp without fear because again, I'm thinking, okay, this just doesn't happen to other people and this is not something I need to be concerned about with her. However, with my granddaughters, it's totally different because now I understand what really occurred and the damage that can occur when you've been abused. And so with my granddaughters, her mom and dad have talked to them, about good touch, bad touch. And I too have talked about to her, but I've been a little bit more probably detailed about it. Mm-hmm. And as she gets older, these men, the techniques change as you get older and they, after they go after teenage girls, so mm-hmm. Hopefully I'll be able to help her understand, what happens when someone's grooming. I want her to understand her personal space, that if you're not comfortable when someone hugs you, it's okay. That's right. Say I, I don't want you to touch me that way. Mm-hmm. Or say if they don't feel comfortable and we put a lot on kids to do that. 'cause here [00:34:00] we're asking a child to say to an adult, no. Mm-hmm. So it's okay to go to your mother or your mom and say, can you tell so and so Uncle Jimmy or whoever it is, I don't wanna be hugged. So we need to make sure our kids understand that their personal space is their space. And if they don't want someone in that space, it's okay to say no. I also think it's important to tell kids that good people can do bad things. Yeah. Because, as we talked about earlier, our abusers are not strangers. They're not mean people. Mm-hmm. They're usually good people. They're usually people who've given us gifts. They're people who help us. They're people who tell us how wonderful we are. So it's hard for children, even adults, to see this individual who. Who on one side is a good individual who does a lot in the church, who's done all these wonderful things. And so we, we have to tell these kids, just because they're a good person doesn't mean they can't do bad things. And so that's kind of the message I hope to get to my granddaughters that I didn't give to my [00:35:00] daughter. And fortunately she didn't have any issues with church or any, anybody abusing her. But I certainly did not, guide her in the right way in that sense because I just, like I said, I just assumed that I was the only one that this would ever have happened to. Well, I think, I hear a lot in the church that they don't teach sex ed because they don't want the kids to go out and have sex. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these kids are like ignorant as to, what is healthy and what is not proper, yeah. We need to teach 'em that our bodies or are going to respond. They were built that way. God intended us to have feelings. You know, when we are around the opposite sex, that's normal. Mm-hmm. So we need to make sure kids understand. But there are barriers and there are boundaries that need to be taken. But you're absolutely right when we don't talk at it, then we figure it out on their own. And we could, we can all imagine when you're leaving teenagers to [00:36:00] their own devices to figure out things. That's probably not gonna lead in a good spot. No, we have the internet now, which when we, right. When you and I were younger, we didn't have the internet. We didn't have cell phones. No. If you wanted a Playboy magazine, you had to go to that kind of a neighborhood to get something. Yes. You know? Yes. It was a lot more difficult. Yes, absolutely. But too many parents are embarrassed to talk to their children about sex and, you know, everybody listening needs to listen. You need to find a way to talk to them about these things. And one of the techniques that I use with my daughter, just in talking about sex in general, kids don't want to hear their mom and dad talk to 'em about this. So what I did would say, I read a magazine article about this girl who did such and such so that I put it off on something else that's, a non-entity of a person. And I'll say, or Have you ever heard of this? And of course I know she's got a little embarrassed, but I, it opened the dialogue without me coming [00:37:00] out and saying, have you heard of oral sex? Instead, I would talk to her and say, I heard this about this. This is what kids are doing, blah, blah, blah. So you kind of have to find techniques and ways to sneak around it sometimes, but you absolutely need to talk to, because they know it's out there and they're going to experiment. That's just part of being a teenager. Yeah, my parents chickened out. They just gave me a book to read. Same, probably the same book. I got, I forget what it was called. Where did I come from? Or something. It was a cartoon book. Mm-hmm. And I'm grateful for that. And, they just, after I finished the book, do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah. I had a lot of, older people that were friends and I would actually go to my older. Senior citizen friends and ask them questions rather than ask my parents. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's more comfortable that way for sure. Like I said, it's not the topic that we like to talk to with our kids and our kids don't wanna hear it, but being uncomfortable is not an excuse not to do that. And in school you get [00:38:00] the basics of the mechanics of it, but then that ends, that's all you get there as well. And that's not as helpful either. Yeah. The sixth grade menstrual cycle, health class. Yeah, exactly. That's it. They separate the girls and the boys. Yeah. We were all really embarrassed and Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly. Great information. So let's, circle around back to, okay, you've been hiding this secret forever. Mm-hmm. And nobody knows about your past. And then one day you got triggered. So what happened that day? Well, that's the first chapter of my book, and that is one day I was driving to a golf tournament in Tennessee. We live in Cincinnati. I was driving, my daughter was in college. She was playing in a golf tournament. I was driving down there and I was about halfway when I saw an exit sign for the town of Kingsport, Tennessee. And that is the. Town to which my [00:39:00] abuser was sent after he left our church, and it just sent me over the edge. Mm-hmm. All of a sudden I'm thinking, I'm in the town where he lives. Am I close to his house? Am I close to the church where he's now a minister? I mean, even though it'd been 27 years, I thought he was probably still there. I didn't know, but that's what my mind was telling me. I, all of a sudden I felt his presence in the car. I, I could smell him. I could hear him. Oh. I was, it was unbelievable to me what was happening to me. I didn't even know what was happening. I pulled to the side of the road Oh, good. And I sobbed. Yeah. I sobbed for about 20 minutes and I was just trying to figure out what was happening because anytime I had trigger factors before I could manage them, I could control them. I kind of let them happen and then I push 'em back down. Mm-hmm. This one wasn't going back down and I was a mess. I was just an absolute mess. I was able to get through the weekend. I drove back home and all I could think about was, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? [00:40:00] I wanted to stop thinking about him and I couldn't. I spent the next two weeks, really in anxiety. I, my husband would leave for work and I would just walk around the house, wring my hands, trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling. What was I gonna do with these feelings till at one point I finally decided I was gonna tell my best friend, and I was absolutely petrified to tell her because for the first time in 27 years, I was going to utter the words. I was sexually abused by my youth pastor. And I remember thinking, he's gonna find out and I'm gonna get in trouble. I just, I was 49 years old and I'm still afraid of this man. But I did tell her, it was, it took me a long time to, to get the words out, but I did, she was very supportive. She was very kind. She was patient as she waited for me to tell her. And so that started my journey of healing just by telling that first person. I then told two or three other of my close friends, so the four of us spent [00:41:00] many days and many hours on the screened in porch of one of my friends just letting me talk. Mm-hmm. And being able to express what had happened to me. I wasn't ready to tell all of the story. I mean, there's parts in the book that I won't go into here because they're pretty mm-hmm. Embarrassing and some things that I did. So I wasn't ready to tell them everything, but I told them enough that it helped me start to release what had been done to me. And so that was the first thing that I did, I think. And then the next thing I did, which was so valuable, and I encouraged victims to do it as well, I just read everything I could on clergy abuse or sexual abuse in itself. So I began to learn the terms of grooming, manipulation, gaslighting, and then I could see how he methodically used each one of those things on me to get me to do the things he got me to do, and to stay in that relationship for those five years. And that was huge for me. So [00:42:00] it was, for the first time as I began reading, I understood that I had been abused. Now, it still took me a while to admit that I really was sexually abused because I didn't want that label. I didn't wanna be an abuse victim. And there was a part of me. We all wanna be loved. And so there was still a part of me that I wanted to think that there was some part of him that cared about me, that this wasn't just purely about sex and that he wasn't just using me for his own gratification. And I had to get past that. I had to finally come to terms with, no, this man didn't do the no one who loves you, would do the things he did and ask the things he did of me. So that took me a while, to finally admit, okay, this was an abusive relationship. So I told someone, educating myself, and then I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to let, I had to let go of the guilt [00:43:00] and shame because any guilt and shame belongs squarely on him. This was a man that I should have been able to trust. It was in a place that should have been the safest place on earth for me. And he took advantage of a vulnerable teenager who had, I didn't have a major crisis in my life, but he knew my home life was an upheaval at times. He knew that I didn't see my dad very much. So he used that to against me. And I had to forgive myself for being who I was at the time and being able to respond the way I did for the coping skills I had at the time. Sure. You can look back. I, and I think, why didn't I say this? Why didn't I do that? But I couldn't because of, of the re of the relationship he had created between us. Mm-hmm. I had lost all power. He was in complete control of this relationship, so I had to forgive myself and that wasn't easy either. Then, and I don't know that this is something all victims should do, but I just felt this need [00:44:00] that I needed to confront him. I just felt like I couldn't move past this unless I was able to face him. Now, I had no contact with him for 27 years. I didn't even know if he was still alive, but I hired a private investigator and he found him ministering in a church in Alabama. And so I had my investigator contact him and we set up a time and a meeting that we would meet. And I took my husband, I took my friend who was a counselor and another friend who was at the church at the time. Um, I wanted her at this point. You told your husband at this point, I'm sorry. Yes, that's correct. I, it was probably three months after I told my friends, that I said to him I would like to meet him in his office and talked to him about something and. I was terrified. I don't know how else to say it. I just was so afraid. Not that I needed to be, but I was. And I probably sat there for almost, [00:45:00] I would say, 40 minutes and just cried. I was able to finally get out. I'm okay, the kids are okay, and then I started crying again. He couldn't have been any more supportive, more loving. I remember looking at his face and I said I was sexually abused by my youth pastor, and he didn't. His expression didn't change, and then I said. I was their babysitter and his face just dropped. And for the first time, I could see the pain I was feeling was reflected in his face. It was, I almost wanted to hug him to say, I'm sorry. 'cause I could see how much it hurt him to know that this had been done to me, especially as a baby. I mean, the picture became complete for him once I said that. And so he was very supportive. I think he was worried about me confronting this man, for a couple reasons. But one, I think he was worried that I would be disappointed in his reaction, and that I would be expecting too much of this [00:46:00] person to understand what he did to me and show any kind of remorse, and that I, it would hurt me even more. And one of my fears was that, I was afraid he wouldn't meet me. I was afraid that he was gonna say, no, I'm not gonna meet with you. And my husband said, oh, he's gonna meet with you all right? Because if he doesn't meet with you, you just tell him. Call the church secretary. We'll call every elder. We're gonna, he, somebody's gonna hear your story if he doesn't want to hear it. So he did agree to meet with me. I went down to Alabama and the meeting took place and I said the things that I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to get what he did to me. But he didn't, he never could understand the damage. It was almost as if, okay, I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry I did it. Okay, now what do you want? It was, get away. You bother me? Yes. And his greatest fear as most narcissist, and I believe he was, narcissistic, but his greatest fear was that I was going to demand that he be removed from the ministry. I mean, that's what he [00:47:00] was most concerned about, how this was going to impact him. And he should have been out of the ministry. So I went to his. Boss. I was told this, and something happened 27 years ago. He, we think he's safe. We're not worried, in spite of the fact that during the meeting he had admitted that there had been multiple occurrences of sexual misconduct throughout his ministry. Not all teenagers, some were most were probably women. And then he said he had gone to therapy because he had been identified as a sexual addict. And I kept thinking, who, what? What world, what world? Does this make sense that a man who has been identified by a psychologist as a sex addict belongs in the ministry? Nope. But here was this church. So I sent a letter to his 11 elders thinking, okay, somebody in this eldership is gonna see this. Is I something's wrong here. Not one responded totally [00:48:00] ignored me. 11 elders totally ignored me. Wow. No worries. So then, I decided to go to his denominational leaders, which were in Indianapolis. And there again, while they were sympathetic to my story and apologize that it happened, they said, we're an independent church. Our churches hire and fire their own ministers. We have no control and if they choose to keep this man, we can do nothing about it. And so what, I was shut down and basically I had no place else to go. I had pretty much. Done everything I could do. And it wasn't my place in the man that he be removed. I expected the church to be, the church was to do the right thing. Exactly. I assumed so naively that once they heard my story and once they understood the background of this man, surely someone would say, this isn't right. But again, keep in mind he's very charismatic. He brings in [00:49:00] people, he brings in money. And to be fair, and probably I'm being a little too gracious, these men are very good at manipulating not only the victim but the congregation as well. They're very good at getting control of the congregation so that they find themselves following this man no matter what he would do. Yeah. And that's basically what happened. There was going to be, I got a four page letter from his boss telling me that, know, I'm going to. Ruin this church if I continue on this path and that I'm going to feel all this guilt because I'm gonna be responsible for the damage that I will do to pe people's spiritual lives. I mean that, it was an incredible, I put the letter in the book, I, because it is so incredibly, hard to believe that someone write that to a victim of abuse. Just So that was What year did that happen? 2004. Okay. So we did have. We did have the internet. Oh, yes. And this was after the Catholic, [00:50:00] church had their, exposure of sexual abuse within their church. So yes, this was, it was out there for sure. This wasn't something that you would think, oh, I can't believe this happened. And again, he had admitted to these past instances. I mean, this wasn't someone who was saying, oh, I don't know what she's talking about. Or, oh, this is the only time it ever happened. He had been in therapy because he was a sexual addict, So he wasn't registered as a sex offender? I guess not. And in my case, at the time of the abuse, the age of consent was 16. So I had no legal recourse because of I was either legally age of consent. Now that has been changed in Ohio. It's now 18. It's now 18, but many states it's still 16. There are several states where the age of consent is 16. Now, the interesting about that is. His contact sexual contact with me was not considered a crime. However, if he had been my high school teacher, it would've been a crime. What, so pastors I know [00:51:00] does not make sense. It does not make a leg of sense. No, it does not. So it, they don't consider him a teacher. They don't cons, they don't, they considered an affair. A mutual. Relationship if he'd been my teacher, that's a different story. So yeah, I had no legal recourse. And that was frustrating. But I couldn't change that. So it was what it was. I just had to accept that he, yes, he belonged in jail. Yes, there's no doubt and should be registered as a sex offender, but I'm not so sure that even if he's registered as a sex offender, these people in Alabama and wherever he is now, would. Even take that as a concern. Well, you know, the millennials now, they'll just, they just post stuff on Facebook and Twitter and call the evening news and they have, yes. News people at their doorstep, right. Ready to mm-hmm. Track this guy's name through the mud. Mm-hmm. But you didn't choose to do that, I guess. No, you know, I'm very careful about naming him in the sense that, part of my story is that I [00:52:00] reconnected with his wife. She actually divorced him after they moved, because again, he committed sexual misconduct. She was 20, I think, at the time, so it wasn't a minor, but that's beside the point. This is a man in a position that, a professional who does not cross boundaries like that. So, to no one surprise, he committed sexual misconduct the third time, so she divorced him. And part of, I guess letting go of some of the guilt that I felt, I wanted to. Connect with her to at least tell her, not that I was responsible for what happened, but how very sorry I was for her pain and suffering as well because she was part of the youth group. I mean, she was there at the church all the time. We sang in the choir together. So it was like I had a relationship with her. Oh wow. To some extent. And of course when, we were found, when he was found out by the elders, she was upset and she of course, didn't wanna have anything to do with me, which is understandable. So I actually think I [00:53:00] also wanted to give her the opportunity to say whatever she felt she needed to say to me if she wanted to. I mean, I didn't know what she was gonna say or react. I thought maybe she'd hang up on me. I didn't know. So I called her one day. My investigator found her phone number and gave it to me, and she couldn't have been any more gracious. I, she never blamed me. She understood as she, as the years went on, what this really was just like I did. She's remarried. She's has a wonderful husband now. And so I visited her several times. We keep in contact. And so part of my not wanting to expose him too much is that it would be hurtful to her. And he does have children. Now. I know that, well, whatever consequences are as a result of this are all on him, but I don't feel the need to add to that. That's not my purpose in speaking out. And so, mm-hmm. I've gone to his church leaders, I've done everything I can to get him removed from the ministry. And nothing, it's just [00:54:00] he's still, I don't know that he's still a pastor, but he still remains in good standing within that denomination to this day. Yeah. I mean, sometimes we have to just let God. Right. Dish out the justice. It may not be in our timeline, it may not be the way that we think it should happen, but Right. He's not gonna get away with this. No. And again, I did my part. Yes. So my conscience is clear and I am able to say I did what I could do and whether or not they removed him, I certainly hope that I maybe put some doubt in some of their minds and maybe questioned their motives in keeping this man. I don't know. But, I feel I did what I could do and I feel good about that. I feel good about that. Absolutely, you should. And what I'm really interested in is, you're trying to keep this stuff from happening to other people, so, I mean, what can we do to prevent some of this stuff? Well, it's [00:55:00] difficult again, because these men are among us as wolves in sheep's clothing, and so they're difficult to spot. But a couple things. I think the first thing I would tell people is if something doesn't seem right. Keep your antenna up. Don't just ignore it or just don't think, oh, well that can't be true because he's the pastor. Mm-hmm. If it's behavior that you wouldn't accept in someone else, or it's something that you would question in someone else, then question it in the pastor or the choir director, whoever it is. Don't be blinded by the person. The persona that they're presenting to you. So that's the first thing I would say is keep your antenna up. The other thing is we, and we're churches, I think are doing better about this, but you've got to have policies in place that say, no, you're not taking a 16-year-old girl on your hospital visit with you. Yes. That's, that's not normal. That's not right. What is she doing going on a hospital visit with you in a car? And of course now we have the texting [00:56:00] and there should be absolutely no texting between a pastor, a youth minister, and anyone in the congregation. And that includes, no, don't forget the meeting for the church luncheon. No, there should be no texting because you, it's too hidden and it's too easily moved to the next step. And that's how it starts. You know, all of the abuse when it's someone you know, it always starts with small things and subtle things. It doesn't, innocent things. Innocent things that, yeah, that, that are innocent. But so that's why, so no texting. Yeah. So put in the policy, those places of, when you take a 10-year-old child to the bathroom, you make sure there's another adult with you. Absolutely. That's for your safety as well as for the child's safety. Mm-hmm. So I, I think we need to be aware. And then I would also say watch for the vulnerable in your, among your church or your group. Watch for the kid that's got issues at home and is looking for a father figure. Be aware that they're going to be more susceptible to someone who's a predator and pay [00:57:00] attention to their cues and kind of keep in touch with them as well in a sense of asking questions and how they're doing and be the kind of a person that they might feel comfortable coming to if something were to happen to them because they're the ones that are gonna be most vulnerable, to a predator. So that's kind of, an overview of what. Maybe a help to try and stop and prevent some of this. Yes, I like lots of video cameras. They're cheap now. You can put a camera, you can hide cameras all over the church facility and Yes. And I think too, talking to this about this issue to the congregation before anything happens, maybe having a person in your congregation who is the go-to person on this topic, who, who's researched what all these grooming and manipulation is so that they are even more equipped to, to notice the signs. So you have a person who's kind of in charge of that topic and then address it to the congregation once a year and say, here's our policy and here's what we expect of our pastors and here's what we would hope you would [00:58:00] do if you notice something. So it just brings it out so that people feel like if there is something that they know is going on or something's wrong, they feel comfortable going to someone about it. Those are all really great tips for leaders and, church members. So what, what if I am listening and I am being subjected to some of this stuff, what should I do? Well, what you need to do and what is the hardest thing to do is to tell someone. Yeah. And it's hard to do because when you're in an abusive relationship, you are being controlled by your abuser. And the narrative is what he is directing. And so he's going to tell you, look, you can tell anybody you want. They're not gonna believe you. And he tells you that over and over again. He's also going to tell you that you are going to be in trouble if you tell anyone. And then there's that problem of you sort [00:59:00] of care about this person. Here's someone that has been helping you, who's been your mentor, and you don't wanna get him in trouble. So with all those dynamics involved, it's very difficult for victims to come forward. But I am telling you, you don't wanna wait the 27 years that I did no. And live with this guilt and the shame and the angst and the anxiety. First of all, it's not worth it. You're not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, because there is help out there. But they can only help you if you're able to be able to tell someone. And believe me, I understand how difficult that is. It's not easy. Mm-hmm. But I would hope that I hearing my story and others that you will understand that there is help out there and you need to tell someone. 'cause it won't end until you tell someone. And if you need to, you go to someone that you trust. And if you need to, you go outside the church. Yes. You tell someone you know is going to listen to you. [01:00:00] Hey, I tell my listeners, you can call me anytime mm-hmm. And email me and I'm sure you'd say the same thing. Exactly. Reach out to Sandy if mm-hmm. You need somebody to talk to. Mm-hmm. Or you don't know what is the next step I need to take here? Right. It is scary to make First step. It's very scary. Very scary. Absolutely. So then there's the rest of us, those that have not experienced clergy abuse, maybe we're members in the church, maybe we're friends or family. What are some helpful things for us to do to support a victim? Helpful things to say, maybe there's things we shouldn't say, well, that's a yes. First, I would say anytime you're aware of a victim of clergy abuse or anybody who's been abused, whether it's clergy or not, reiterate to that victim that it was not their fault and that there was nothing they could have done, should have done that would've prevented this. And by doing that, you are [01:01:00] telling that person they're free to speak to you. And victims need to hear it over and over again because we do blame ourselves. Children as young as five will blame themselves because they allowed someone to touch them 'cause mommy said not to. And the that guilt in that shame that victims carry, it's difficult to let go of it. So to hear someone say to us, it's not your fault is so freeing. So that's the first thing. The second thing I would say is. Let them know that you will listen to them without judging them, and you will hear their story without being shocked that you are able to say, tell me everything you need to tell me, or Tell me as little as you wanna tell me. Give them a comfort place to go to talk. And then I would say, and this is difficult for people who have spiritual lives or who are part of the church, be very much aware that things such as prayer and Bible reading and [01:02:00] scripture can be very triggering for those who've been abused in the church. Mm-hmm. So things that you would find comforting like prayer. Can be a very major trigger factor for victims. And so instead of saying to a victim, I'll pray for you, or Can I pray with you? The best thing you could say would be to phrase it in such a way as to say, I understand because of what you've been through, prayer can be difficult. And so I would like to pray for you, but I would completely understand if you don't want to pray or you won't, don't even want me to pray for you. And so you've opened up the door to say to this person, wow, I don't have to feel guilty because I can't pray. You know, when we've grown up in the church and we've been told how wonderful church and prayer and all those things are, we still carry that guilt too because we're no longer connected to God. So to have a person on the outside. Recognize that these can be trigger factors is again, a gift. It's a [01:03:00] gift. So those things I think would be the most helpful when dealing with a person of clergy abuse. And give them time. Don't push forgiveness. Don't push trying to get them back into church. 'cause some victims will never be able to go back to church if you let them find their own pace of time and you do it without judging them. And I know that's kind of hard sometimes for Christians and people in the church because we love the church and we find it to be such a wonderful place and we want this person back in the church. Yes. But it, it may not be the best place at that point for that victim. Such valuable advice. I That is awesome. And again, back to like, when you're talking about the sex education, open up the dialogue, you know? Yeah. Bring it up. Bring it up before they bring it up. Again, I read in the newspaper that this girl was molested by, a gym teacher. You know that, that ha I know that happens. And then let 'em know that if. It is, like you said, allowing that comfort to be able to [01:04:00] talk to someone. I think for me it was important to give my side of the story. No one had a clue that he was emotionally and verbally and physically abusive to me. They saw this as a little love affair and that we had this, magic little love affair. Evil temptress. Yes, exactly. And so I wanted them to know the full story. That was important for my healing too. And they did that. And, they welcomed me back to the church. I went back, I've been back a couple times for, a youth group reunion that we had. So, and that was difficult. But again, I thought that was necessary for me to move forward. I had to let go of my past. I had to figure out, not to forget it, but how was I going to incorpo

Tim Durham lives in a 30,000-square-foot Shangri La on the outskirts of Indianapolis, has a $6 million yacht and parties with Playboy models. He claims to have made his fortune as a king of the leveraged buyout, with his company Obsidian Enterprises buying stakes in struggling manufacturing companies, turning them around, and flipping them for big profits. Problem is, the profits that Durham claims to make as a fix-it-and-flip-it king are bogus and he's burning through investor money. (Original television broadcast: 1-22-15) Want to binge watch your Greed? The latest episodes at: https://www.cnbc.com/american-greed/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this special short episode of Gangland Wire, Gary Jenkins presents a wild and largely forgotten chapter from Bob Cooley’s life—the former Chicago Outfit fixer, gambler, and lawyer whose career straddled the worlds of organized crime, corruption, and courtroom drama. Fresh off a long-form interview with Cooley, Gary pulls out a standalone story that feels almost too strange to be true: Cooley's first real legal case, involving the infamous Chicago martial arts cult figure Count Dante, self-proclaimed “Deadliest Man Alive.” The episode revisits 1970s Chicago, when Count Dante ran multiple dojos across the city and cultivated a fearsome public image. A rivalry with a competing martial arts school—the Green Dragon Dojo—boiled over into violence when Dante and his followers stormed the school armed with medieval-style weapons. The confrontation ended with one man dead, and Dante charged with murder. At the time, Bob Cooley wasn't even officially a lawyer yet—he had just taken the bar exam and was still working as a Chicago police officer. Despite that, Count Dante tracked him down, hired him on the spot, and insisted Cooley would be his attorney. What followed was a surreal two-year relationship involving Chicago nightlife, the Playboy Club and Mansion, mob figures, bar fights, and mounting public attention. When the case finally went to trial, the courtroom devolved into chaos as rival martial artists from both sides reenacted the violence with shouting, threats, and theatrical testimony. The judge, fed up with the spectacle, dismissed the case outright—instantly launching Bob Cooley's reputation as a lawyer who had “beaten” a murder charge. Get Bob Cooley’s book When Corruption Was King. Hit me up on Venmo for a cup of coffee or a shot and a beer @ganglandwire Click here to “buy me a cup of coffee” Subscribe to the website for weekly notifications about updates and other Mob information. To go to the store or make a donation or rent Ballot Theft: Burglary, Murder, Coverup, click here To rent ‘Brothers against Brothers’ or ‘Gangland Wire,’ the documentaries click here.  To purchase one of my books, click here. [0:00] Hey guys, this is a little shorty, uh, part of the long interview I did with Bob Cooley, former Chicago outfit, mob fixer, lawyer, uh, general man about town gambler been in, uh, not in witness protection, but he has been off the radar for several years and in hiding. He recently came back and he got hold of me and he wanted to come on the podcast. And you know, I’ve done one story about him, part of his story. This is another part of his story that’s kind of separate from everything else. It’s about a guy by the name of Count Dante. Now, he was kind of well-known in Chicago at the time back in the 70s. You’ll see some images of him in the show. He liked Bob. He got hold of Bob, and he wanted him to defend him. And Bob wasn’t even out of law school yet, but he wanted him to defend him. He had got in an argument with something called the Green Dragon Dojo. He had a dojo, and he had a whole bunch of dojos around town. [1:04] And he was pretty successful, but he built himself as a deadliest man alive. And this other dojo, they said something bad about him or something. I don’t know exactly how it started. So he took a crew of his and went over to the Green Dragon Dojo and kicked in the front door and went in. they had a big battle and they had maces and spears and, and a huge big fight. And somebody ends up getting killed in this fight. So they charged the count with murder and end up going to trial. Uh, Bob’s got, he’ll talk a little bit about it and, and, and his relationship with the count. They became good friends and he did a lot of stuff with the count over two years. It’s, uh, he didn’t say a lot, but, uh, enough to let you know that he and the count were, were pals for a while. In the end, Bob defends him. He’s just out of law school. It was first case, really first client, I think maybe. And they go to trial and, and both the prosecution puts on all their. [2:03] Prosecution witnesses, which are people of this Green Dragon dojo. And then Bob puts on the count and some of his people. And by the time they get done screaming and yelling and almost replaying this whole fight in the courtroom, the judge is so fed up with the whole thing that he just dismisses the whole case. And of course, when the count, he goes around telling everybody how Bob Cooley helped him beat a murder case. And from then on, you know, that’s the start of his reputation as a lawyer so it’s a it’s a hell of a story i’ll tell you that right now it’s a it’s a heck of a story so i’m in the police station now i’m in in fact after that that’s when i got involved out there with all the mobsters and the rest of them in the 18th district when i wasn’t able to work i was i was working undercover out there with them because it was something to do and uh. [2:58] I’m in the police station. I get a call to come into the police station because I’m in law school. I had just taken the bar. I had just taken the bar, and I knew I passed it. I just did. I never had a problem with anything. I knew that it was just a matter of when I’d be practicing law. I get a call to come into the police station. And when I come in there, there was this silly looking guy with a cape, with one of those, a C-tooth mesh outfit with a cape on and using blue eyes and with what I call the Dante beard. And he says, you’re Bob Foley? Yeah. Yeah. He says, you know, can I talk to you? [3:46] Can I talk to you? And I said, he says, John Began told me that, you know, this is where you’re working now. He said, I’d like to talk to you. He said, I have a little problem. And we go upstairs. His little problem was it was front page news in the papers. And I didn’t notice it or realize it. He was involved. He was charged with murder because he had been involved in that situation up there at the Green Dragon. He had broken in there, and they had killed, and his friend Jim Concevic had gotten killed. But anyhow, he said, and I’m charged with murder. He says, and I want to hire you. I says, you want to hire me? I says, I’m not a lawyer yet. He says to me, I’ve been following you. I’ve been, he says, I’ve noticed, I’ve known who you were for a long time, he said, and I’ve really been anxious to maybe get to, you know, I didn’t know where you were or whatever happened to you, he said, but he said, he said, I knew you at Mount Carmel, he said, you were a wrestler, he said, I was a wrestler too, he said, I was a wrestler too, and I didn’t remember his name, because it was John Kean at the time, I didn’t, I didn’t remember him, you know, for anything. He says, I haven’t passed the bar yet. He says, but John, sure you are, and I’m sure you will. [5:16] And if you don’t pass the bar, I want you to find me somebody. He says, because John tells me, you know all kinds of people. You have a lot of connections, which I did. I had been friendly with a lot of judges and a lot of other people who had known me for a number of years as a policeman and whatever. And when I first started practicing, even before I started practicing, a lot of these were friends of mine at the time. But anyhow, he says, so he gives me $5,000, and he says, and he said to me, if you don’t, he said, I said, well, then here’s what you can do. I said, and he had one of the big-name lawyers in Chicago. I think his name was Conley. He was one of the top lawyers in the city. Just tell him, tell him, continue. You don’t want to, because the case was set for trial. It was supposed to go to trial in a couple of weeks. Oh, yeah. I says, tell him you want to get it continued. Yeah. No way. This is front page. This is front page. Newspaper. Yeah. [6:26] The deadliest man in the world. And it was, you know, when they broke into this place and constipated a spear put through him, the count had pulled the guy’s eye out or whatever. This is at this Green Dragon. It was like a Green Dragon. It was a restaurant. No, no, no. The Green Dragon was a school. It was a Kung Fu school. Oh. In the Kung Fu school, they teach you how to use weapons, maces and swords and daggers. The Count had a number of skulls, but they were skulls just to teach you how to fight with your hands and teach you how to do it, you know, not with weapons, just by your hands. They broke the count. [7:12] The place itself had like one of those real thick wooden doors. I don’t know how he did it, but he broke it off the hinges when he went in there, and he came in with like four people. There were four people and himself, Joey Casello, Konsevic, and I forgot the other two guys’ names. But they broke in there. When they broke in there, one of the guys came at the count with one of those maces, those big ball things that you throw around. And the count took his eye out. He blocked it, took his eye out. Wow. In Konsevic, they threw a spear through him. They first hit him with a, and they put a spear right through him. What was this all about? What was the deal? What had happened was the count, the count got a call from the guy, the guy who owned it. They were competitors. The count had all kinds of these schools. And the other guy from the other school, the count had about six schools all throughout the city. [8:17] The other guy that owned that called the count and called him a pussy. He called him because he was upset because a lot of his students were going to the count. And he calls up there and basically said, you’re nothing but a pussy or something like that. Whatever he said, I don’t know what it was. But the count told him, you motherfucker, I’ll see you. And with six of his guys he went over there and broke in the door during one of the classes, and that’s when this quick fight broke off but when Tonsavik got stabbed he ran about a block away and that’s when he fell over for dead, so anyhow so you got a continuance I assume you got a continuance so then what happened at trial was this one of your early fixes you got put in for this dude. [9:13] Well as i said i’m i’m not even practicing yet i just said i just get them i i had taken the bar already and the results were going to be coming out the results are going to be coming out real soon because it had been about maybe two months or three months since i had taken them and uh and i told them i said well i said if or he said let me too if you can’t if you don’t pass the bar I’d still like you to find me Find me a good lawyer or whatever Because I have, you know, John has all kinds of faith in you And I’ll have all kinds of faith in you, And I won’t. [9:53] And that same night, in fact, the same night, we go out together. He wants to go out. He wants to take me out to dinner over at the Playboy, and he wants to take me over into the mansion and take me to the mansion with him. And why not? You know, so anyhow, we go out that night, the very first night we go out and went to the Playboy Club itself. We had dinner, and we went over to the mansion, and he introduced me to Hugh Hefner and some of those people there. He tells me this is going to be my lawyer, he says, this is going to be my new lawyer. He’s a policeman in that district yeah, I’m there in 18 at the time I’m there in 18 at the time. They all probably thought he was crazy too a lot of people thought he was crazy when he indicated I’m continuing to make a case until I, until i get him but anyhow uh now during that same period he’s calling me all the time he wants to go out with me and and he’s going out we’re getting we’re getting into two or three different fights in different areas he was after you know i think he was looking to start fights with people, and and he’s telling the people now everybody uh. [11:15] I’m one of the toughest people he’s ever met. This is what he’s telling everybody. Here’s the deadliest man alive, and he’s telling these people that. Yeah, be careful what that guy would claim. [11:30] Including, you know, with all these people, with all these people that I’m involved with now, Marco D’Amico and Ricky Borelli and all these mobsters. And I took him one time over to the club and introduced him so he could say hello to these people. [11:53] What happened at trial? Yeah. Oh, I’m not guilty. Okay. It was about maybe about two weeks later when I got the results, I passed the bar. Yeah. Now the lawyers were going to be sworn in, and it was going to be two or three weeks afterwards. My father knew a judge in Springfield. And my father, we took a train ride down to Springfield, and I got sworn in the next day. The judge in Springfield swore me in. So now I’m a lawyer. Now I’m a lawyer. And so I go and I file my appearance right away. Right away on him. The same day, I quit the police department. I resigned. I resigned from the police department. In fact, I had already had four or five other cases already lined up before I even got on. before I even got off the job. And we went to trial. We went to public sites. Now we’ve got a new lawyer. [13:05] A new lawyer. Bob Cooley. Who the hell is he? I mean, a lot of people knew me in the court system because— But not like that. Well, not just—yeah, because I was involved in all kinds of trials. I had made all kinds of arrests, and I knew a lot of these people. Thanks a lot for listening and keep coming back. I keep putting something out all the time. Thanks guys.

Debbie Dutch throws the best New Year's Eve parties. In wishing everyone a Happy New Years and a wonderful 2026 we are replaying her first appearance on the Dark Mark Show from 2020 This week Mark and Hannah interviewed legendary scream queen Debbie Dutch. She talked about her dancer beginnings, turning down the opportunity to be Korea's biggest movie star and what it was like to work with A listers such as Tommy Lee Jones and Goldie Hawn, getting cast in Sea of Love with Al Pacino and how ending up not getting that role was a blessing in disguise leading her to be featured in Playboy magazine and over 200 cult movies such as Hard to Die, Dinosaur Island, Hollywood Warrioress and The Vampire Santa Give the gift of The Dark Mark Show this holiday season. Go to www.teepublic.com/user/dms1 for shirts, mugs, phone/laptop covers, masks and more! This podcast is sponsored by Raze Energy Drinks Go to https://bit.ly/2VMoqkk and put in the coupon code DMS for 15% off the best energy drinks. Zero calories. Zero carbs. Zero crash Tactical Soap Smell Great with Pheromone infused products and drive women wild with desire! Go to https://grondyke-soap-company.myshopify.com/?rfsn=7187911.8cecdba

Merry Boxing Day one and all!We love you Pamela! LOVE, PAMELA!!Today we go through the first half of Pamela Anderson's beautiful, poetic memoir. We learn about her childhood in rural Canada, her big break into modeling simply by being hot and wearing a LeBatt's shirt, her recruitment by Playboy, and her rocket ship to stardom. She is truly an incredible person and we are enjoying the hell out of this book!See y'all next year!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller talk funny about Mark's idea for a new phone app for people walking and staring at their phone, why you aren't important enough to look at your phone, annoying podcast ads, why gold doesn't make sense,  Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey

We're skipping ahead a little to bring you a brand new playboys extra episode for xams!We also have 8 new Playboys (original series) episodes coming soon to patreon. Check out booksboys.com for links to our social media, merchandise, music, etc, as well as patreon.com/booksboys for the latest episodes of Playboys Extra, Darkplace Dreamers, Film Fellows, Animation Adventurers and more!booksboys.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everything about Chris Farley was larger than life. His comedy, his laughs, the risks he took in front of a live studio audience – they were all bigger than anyone else's. So were his appetites. Not just for performance, but for life. He plowed through a plate glass window, 15 stories above downtown Chicago. He was kicked out of college for burning down a girl's house. He disappeared with two Playboy models in Los Angeles and woke up the next morning in Hawaii. He modeled his career on an iconic dead comedian – even following the comic's path, straight to an early grave. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

WhoRyan Brown, Director of Golf & Ski at The Mountaintop at Grand Geneva, WisconsinRecorded onJune 17, 2025About the Mountaintop at Grand GenevaClick here for a mountain stats overviewOwned by: Marcus HotelsLocated in: Lake Geneva, WisconsinYear founded: 1968Pass affiliations: NoneClosest neighboring U.S. ski areas: Alpine Valley (:23), Wilmot Mountain (:29), Crystal Ridge (:48), Alpine Hills Adventure Park (1:04)Base elevation: 847 feetSummit elevation: 962 feetVertical drop: 115 feetSkiable acres: 30Average annual snowfall: 34 inchesTrail count: 21 (41% beginner, 41% intermediate, 18% advanced)Lift count: 6 (3 doubles, 1 ropetow, 2 carpets)Why I interviewed himOf America's various mega-regions, the Midwest is the quietest about its history. It lacks the quaint-town Colonialism and Revolutionary pride of the self-satisfied East, the cowboy wildness and adobe earthiness of the West, the defiant resentment of the Lost Glory South. Our seventh-grade Michigan History class stapled together the state's timeline mostly as a series of French explorers passing through on their way to somewhere more interesting. They were followed by a wave of industrial loggers who mowed the primeval forests into pancakes. Then the factories showed up. And so the state's legacy was framed not as one of political or cultural or military primacy, but of brand, the place that stamped out Chevys and Fords by the tens of millions.To understand the Midwest, then, we must look for what's permanent. The land itself won't do. It's mostly soil, mostly flat. Great for farming, bad for vistas. Dirt doesn't speak to the soul like rock, like mountains. What humans built doesn't tell us a much better story. Everything in the Midwest feels too new to conceal ghosts. The largest cities rose late, were destroyed in turn by fires and freeways, eventually recharged with arenas and glass-walled buildings that fail to echo or honor the past. Nothing lasts: the Detroit Pistons built the Palace of Auburn Hills in 1988 and developers demolished it 32 years later; the Detroit Lions (and, for a time, the Pistons) played at the Pontiac Silverdome, a titanic, 82,600-spectator stadium that opened in 1976 and came down in 2013 (37 years old). History seemed to bypass the region, corralling the major wars to the east and shooing the natural disasters to the west and south. Even shipwrecks lose their doubloons-and-antique-cannons romance in the Midwest: the Great Lakes most famous downed vessel, the SS Edmund Fitzgerald, sank into Lake Superior in 1975. Her cargo was 26,535 tons of taconite ore pellets. A sad story, but not exactly the sinking of the Titanic.Our Midwest ancestors did leave us one legacy that no one has yet demolished: names. Place names are perhaps the best cultural relics of the various peoples who occupied this land since the glaciers retreated 12,000-ish years ago. Thousands of Midwest cities, towns, and counties carry Native American names. “Michigan” is derived from the Algonquin “Mishigamaw,” meaning “big lake”; “Minnesota” from the Sioux word meaning “cloudy water.” The legacies of French explorers and missionaries live on in “Detroit” (French for “strait”), “Marquette” (17th century French missionary Jacques Marquette), and “Eau Claire” (“clear water”).But one global immigration funnel dominated what became the modern Midwest: 50 percent of Wisconsin's population descends from German, Nordic, or Scandinavian countries, who arrived in waves from the Colonial era through the early 1900s. The surnames are everywhere: Schmitz and Meyer and Webber and Schultz and Olson and Hanson. But these Old-Worlders came a bit late to name the cities and towns. So they named what they built instead. And they built a lot of ski areas. Ten of Wisconsin's 34 ski areas carry names evocative of Europe's cold regions, Scandinavia and the Alps:I wonder what it must have been like, in 18-something-or-other, to leave a place where the Alps stood high on the horizon, where your family had lived in the same stone house for centuries, and sail for God knows how many weeks or months across an ocean, and slow roll overland by oxen cart or whatever they moved about in back then, and at the end of this great journey find yourself in… Wisconsin? They would have likely been unprepared for the landscape aesthetic. Tourism is a modern invention. “The elite of ancient Egypt spent their fortunes building pyramids and having their corpses mummified, but none of them thought of going shopping in Babylon or taking a skiing holiday in Phoenicia [partly in present-day Lebanon, which is home to as many as seven ski areas],” Yuval Noah Harari writes in Sapiens his 2015 “brief history of humankind.” Imagine old Friedrich, who had never left Bavaria, reconstituting his world in the hillocks and flats of the Midwest.Nothing against Wisconsin, but fast-forward 200 years, when the robots can give us a side-by-side of the upper Midwest and the European Alps, and it's pretty clear why one is a global tourist destination and the other is known mostly as a place that makes a lot of cheese. And well you can imagine why Friedrich might want to summon a little bit of the old country to the texture of his life in the form of a ski area name. That these two worlds - the glorious Alps and humble Wisconsin skiing - overlap, even in a handful of place names, suggests a yearning for a life abandoned, a natural act of pining by a species that was not built to move their life across timezones.This is not a perfect analysis. Most – perhaps none – of these ski areas was founded by actual immigrants, but by their descendants. The Germanic languages spoken by these immigrant waves did not survive assimilation. But these little cultural tokens did. The aura of ancestral place endured when even language fell away. These little ski areas honor that.And by injecting grandiosity into the everyday, they do something else. In coloring some of the world's most compact ski centers with the aura of some of its most iconic, their founders left us a message: these ski areas, humble as they are, matter. They fuse us to the past and they fuse us to the majesty of the up-high, prove to us that skiing is worth doing anywhere that it can be done, ensure that the ability to move like that and to feel the things that movement makes you feel are not exclusive realms fenced into the clouds, somewhere beyond means and imagination.Which brings us to Grand Geneva, a ski area name that evokes the great Swiss gateway city to the Alps. Too bad reality rarely matches up with the easiest narrative. The resort draws its name from the nearby town of Lake Geneva, which a 19th-century surveyor named not after the Swiss city, but after Geneva, New York, a city (that is apparently named after Geneva, Switzerland), on the shores of Seneca Lake, the largest of the state's 11 finger lakes. Regardless, the lofty name was the fifth choice for a ski area originally called “Indian Knob.” That lasted three years, until the ski area shuttered and re-opened as the venerable Playboy Ski Area in 1968. More regrettable names followed – Americana Resort from 1982 to '93, Hotdog Mountain from 1992 to '94 – before going with the most obvious and least-questionable name, though its official moniker, “The Mountaintop at Grand Geneva” is one of the more awkward names in American skiing.None of which explains the principal question of this sector: why I interviewed Mr. Brown. Well, I skied a bunch of Milwaukee bumps on my drive up to Bohemia from Chicago last year, this was one of them, and I thought it was a cute little place. I also wondered how, with its small-even-for-Wisconsin vertical drop and antique lift collection, the place had endured in a state littered with abandoned ski areas. Consider it another entry into my ongoing investigation into why the ski areas that you would not always expect to make it are often the ones that do.What we talked aboutFighting the backyard effect – “our customer base – they don't really know” that the ski areas are making snow; a Chicago-Milwaukee-Madison bullseye; competing against the Vail-owned mountain to the south and the high-speed-laced ski area to the north; a golf resort with a ski area tacked on; “you don't need a big hill to have a great park”; brutal Midwest winters and the escape of skiing; I attempt to talk about golf again and we're probably done with that for a while; Boyne Resorts as a “top golf destination”; why Grand Geneva moved its terrain park; whether the backside park could re-open; “we've got some major snowmaking in the works”; potential lift upgrades; no bars on the lifts; the ever-tradeoff between terrain parks and beginner terrain; the ski area's history as a Playboy Club and how the ski hill survived into the modern era; how the resort moves skiers to the hill with hundreds of rooms and none of them on the trails; thoughts on Indy Pass; and Lake Geneva lake life.What I got wrongWe recorded this conversation prior to Sunburst's joining Indy Pass, so I didn't mention the resort when discussing Wisconsin ski areas on the product.Podcast NotesOn the worst season in the history of the MidwestI just covered this in the article that accompanied the podcast on Treetops, Michigan, but I'll summarize it this way: the 2023-24 ski season almost broke the Midwest. Fortunately, last winter was better, and this year is off to a banging start.On steep terrain beneath lift AI just thought this was a really unexpected and cool angle for such a little hill. On the Playboy ClubFrom SKI magazine, December 1969:It is always interesting when giants merge. Last winter Playboy magazine (5.5 million readers) and the Playboy Club (19 swinging nightclubs from Hawaii to New York to Jamaica, with 100,000 card-carrying members) in effect joined the sport of skiing, which is also a large, but less formal, structure of 3.5 million lift-ticket-carrying members. The resulting conglomerate was the Lake Geneva Playboy Club-Hotel, Playboy's ski resort on the rolling plains of Wisconsin.The Playboy Club people must have borrowed the idea of their costumed Bunny Waitress from the snow bunny of skiing fame, and since Playboy and skiing both manifestly devote themselves to the pleasures of the body, some sort of merger was inevitable. Out of this union, obviously, issued the Ultimate Ski Bunny – one able to ski as well as sport the scanty Bunny costume to lustrous perfection.That's a bit different from how the resort positions its ski facilities today:Enjoy southern Wisconsin's gem - our skiing and snow resort in the countryside of Lake Geneva, with the best ski hills in Wisconsin. The Mountain Top at Grand Geneva Resort & Spa boasts 20 downhill ski runs and terrain designed for all ages, groups and abilities, making us one of the best ski resorts in Wisconsin. Just an hour from Milwaukee and Chicago, our ski resort in Lake Geneva is close enough to home for convenience, but far enough for you and your family to have an adventure. Our ultimate skier's getaway offers snowmaking abilities that allow our ski resort to stay open even when there is no snow falling.The Mountain Top offers ski and snow accommodations, such as trolley transportation available from guest rooms at Grand Geneva and Timber Ridge Lodge, three chairlifts, two carpet lifts, a six-acre terrain park, excellent group rates, food and drinks at Leinenkugel's Mountain Top Lodge and even night skiing. We have more than just skiing! Enjoy Lake Geneva sledding, snowshoeing and cross-country skiing too. Truly something for everyone at The Mountain Top ski resort in Lake Geneva. No ski equipment? No problem with the Learn to Ride rentals. Come experience The Mountain Top at Grand Geneva and enjoy the best skiing around Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.On lost Wisconsin and Midwest ski areasThe Midwest Lost Ski Areas Project counts 129 lost ski areas in Wisconsin. I've yet to order these Big Dumb Chart-style, but there are lots of cool links in here that can easily devour your day.The Storm explores the world of North American lift-served skiing year-round. Join us. Get full access to The Storm Skiing Journal and Podcast at www.stormskiing.com/subscribe

Susie Wiles told Vanity Fair she didn't really know how bad the Epstein scandal would be, and so relied on her resident conspiracy theorists -- Dan Bongino, Kash Patel, and JD Vance -- instead. But she's still misjudging who cares about this. Support emptywheel: https://www.emptywheel.net/about/support/ Back LOLGOP Studios: https://www.patreon.com/c/LOLGOPStudios 

Episode 535 of The Rob V Show with Jenni Tay: We decided to switch things up this week with our special guest, trial lawyer Thomas Shaw. We dive into his high-profile trial against Tommy Shelby and his dealings with former President George W. Bush. Tom got a real kick out of seeing firsthand just how interesting Jenni's and my relationship is. I also let Tom know that I'm 2-0 in the courtroom. Vote for us for AVN's Favorite Adult Podcast!

A veteran police detective, Robert Snow was devoted to evidence and hard facts―he had never given any thought to reincarnation. But during a hypnotic regression, he experiences a vivid awareness of being alive in three separate historical scenes. Remaining skeptical, Snow begins to investigate with the intention of disproving reincarnation. Instead, diligent research and corroboration from multiple sources reveal solid evidence that he lived a former life as Carroll Beckwith, a nineteenth-century American artist. Portrait of a Past Life Skeptic tells the fascinating story of Robert Snow's transformation from skeptic to believer.BioRobert L. Snow served for 38 years at the Indianapolis Police Department, retiring in 2007 with the rank of captain. While at the police department he served in such capacities as Police Department Executive Officer, Captain of Detectives, and Commander of the Homicide Branch.Robert L. Snow has also been a publishing writer for over 30 years. He has had over 100 articles and short stories published in such magazines as Playboy, Reader's Digest, the National Enquirer, The Writer, Police, The Saint Detective Magazine, and others. In addition, he has had twenty books published. Almost all of Captain Snow's published works were written so that readers could use his knowledge of law enforcement to better protect themselves and their loved ones.https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738746568 https://www.pastliveshypnosis.co.uk/https://www.patreon.com/ourparanormalafterlifeMy book 'Verified Near Death Experiences' https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DXKRGDFP Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Robin and Dawn - Sentimental Value - Playboy of the Western World review

In our season finale of Bravo, America! Lovett sits down with The Girls Next Door star Holly Madison to discuss the dark side of life in the Playboy mansion on and off screen. Holly opens up about being the main character on the show, but feeling like an object to Hugh Hefner and the Playboy hierarchy. She also speaks about her decision to leave the show and what it's been like to tell her story on her own terms as public sentiment has evolved pre and post #MeToo movement. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to our podcast where we discuss and deliberate over memoirs and biographies found in thrift shops. This is a great way to do things as we are not choosing who to read about. We may not be fans of the person, we may never have heard of the person and we never know who we are going to find next...There are only 2 rules to this podcast. The book has to be found in a thrift shop and we are not allowed to talk about the book until we press record, which is sometimes agonising.We have lots of episodes coming up so if you find yourself enjoying our podcast, please be sure to subscribe to be among the first to hear about each episode.

I veckans avsnitt gör vi en kärleksfullt skeptisk resa genom Jimmy Carters presidentskap. Outsidern som lovade att städa upp efter Watergate. Den sympatiske nykomlingen som verkade stå för något nytt – och som ändå hade förvånansvärt svårt att få saker gjorda när det väl gällde.Vi berättar Carters historia genom fyra udda ögonblick. Den där Playboy-intervjun som plötsligt gjorde religion och sex till valfrågor. Promenaden till installationen, när han bokstavligen kliver ut ur limousinen för att bli folkets president. Det allvarsamma “Crisis of Confidence”-talet mitt i 70-talets ekonomiska kaos. Och så förstås historien om “mördarkaninen” – när ett till synes harmlöst fiskeminne förvandlas till politisk symbol.Det blir ett avsnitt om höga ambitioner, dålig tajming och ett presidentskap som gick fel – men också om en anständig människa i ett jobb som sällan belönar just det.Läslista:Bird, Kai, The Outlier: The Unfinished Presidency of Jimmy Carter, Crown, New York, 2021.Henriksson, Karin, USA:s alla presidenter, Lind & Co, Stockholm, 2024.Kruse, Kevin Michael, Fault Lines: A History of the United States since 1974, 1st edn, W. W. Norton & Company, New York, 2019.Stolpe, Claus, Bland åsnor och elefanter: en utvärdering av USA:s presidenter, diss., Åbo Akademi, Åbo, 2011.Zelizer, Julian E., Jimmy Carter: 39th President, 1977–1981, Times Books, New York, 2010. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lewis Herms, running for governor of California in 2026, exposes the hidden architecture of government corruption, election integrity failures, geoengineering programs, and intelligence-linked influence networks shaping Hollywood and California politics in episode 229 of Far Out with Faust.Lewis Herms is a political outsider, researcher, and grassroots organizer known for his work in the truther community and for challenging the systems he believes drive corruption across California and the United States. His investigations span human trafficking pipelines, intelligence-agency influence, media manipulation, and the structural failures in homelessness and child welfare. As a 2026 gubernatorial candidate, Herms advocates for sovereignty, transparency, and community-driven solutions — arguing that Californians already have the power to reclaim their state from entrenched political interests.In this conversation, Faust and Lewis explore the systems, narratives, and power structures that Herms believes shape political reality in California and beyond. Their discussion moves through the hidden mechanisms he's spent years investigating — from institutional corruption to media influence and public perception — and why Herms argues that sovereignty, transparency, and critical thinking are the only paths to meaningful change.In this episode:- The CIA-adjacent intelligence web tying Hefner, MK Ultra, and Hollywood influence- The Green Acres mansion details that reshaped Herms' view of covert operations- Adrenochrome symbolism and the repeating patterns he sees in elite culture- Media conditioning and the power of narrative repetition- Why election integrity depends on simple, transparent systems- Geoengineering and decades of weather-modification programs- Smart meters and the environmental anomalies Herms tracks- The Maui and California wildfires through his alternative investigative lens- Physics-based analysis and why he questions official 9/11 narratives- Homelessness and child-welfare failures driven by systemic incentives- The two-party trap and how it keeps Californians divided- The rise of grassroots sovereignty movements across the state- How narrative deprogramming fuels real personal and political freedomChapters00:00:00 Ron Burkle, P. Diddy, and Wikipedia00:00:55 Election Integrity and Voting Machines00:01:17 Introducing California Government Candidate Lewis Herms00:03:08 The Symbolism of Playboy, MKUltra, and CIA Connections00:10:00 Hunter S. Thompson and Adrenochrome00:11:00 Playboy Mansion, Tunnels, and Compromise00:12:55 P. Diddy, Intelligence Agencies, and Cover-Ups00:14:38 Ron Burkle, Green Acres Mansion, and Scandalous Connections00:25:28 The Green Acres Mansion as a Hollywood Honeypot00:28:38 The Ron Burkle and P. Diddy Connection00:31:40 The Two-Party System and PAC Money00:33:04 9/11, Melted Cars, and Doctor Judy Wood's Theory00:38:43 The Maui, LA Fires, and Smart Meters01:03:25 Fluoride, Calcification, and the Toxicology Chart01:04:46 Deuterium: The Radioactive Element in Water01:09:09 The Homeless Crisis: Corruption and Theft01:12:06 Mental Health and Making Mental Institutions Great Again01:15:23 Converting All Waste into Pure Clean Energy and Fertilizer01:16:33 Small Underground Modular Reactors (SMRs) and Zero Point Energy01:18:06 Government-Built Spacecraft and False Flag Alien Invasion (Project Blue Beam)01:23:29 Zero Point Energy and the End of the Controllers01:23:54 Big Pharma, Synthetic Drugs, and the Rejection of Natural Cures01:31:06 The Adam Vena Case01:34:56 The Media as Damage Control and Lewis's Grassroots Strategy01:37:12 Media Censorship, we'd love to hear from you

It's time to bring you the latest mini-series of Playboys Extra from 2025, 6 more plays from around the world to complete our world tour. We also have 8 new Playboys (original series) episodes coming soon to patreon. Check out booksboys.com for links to our social media, merchandise, music, etc, as well as patreon.com/booksboys for the latest episodes of Playboys Extra, Darkplace Dreamers, Film Fellows, Animation Adventurers and more!booksboys.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Albie is joined by Magdalene J. Taylor, a Senior Editor at Playboy and a writer and self-described sexual culture critic, to discuss the current state of the dating world and gender wars. Magdalene's Twitter: https://x.com/magdajtaylor Magdaelne's Substack: https://t.co/znHpCApcsb Subscribe to the YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@CarolineManzoMedia Make sure to be following us on Instagram @Dear_Albie and email us mailbags at: Dearalbiemailbag@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sources tell me Britney Spears burst into laughter after seeing her ex-husband’s new Playboy cover, brushing off the images as “nothing to write home about.” Meanwhile, Tom Cruise’s once–must-have holiday coconut Bundt cake is losing its sparkle in Hollywood, where stars are now gravitating toward Taylor Swift–themed treats instead. And in Aspen circles, insiders whisper that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell are experiencing a subtle but noticeable strain over political differences — a rare crack in one of Hollywood’s most famously steady couples. Don't forget to vote in today's poll on Twitter at @naughtynicerob or in our Facebook group.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode 534 of The Rob V Show with Jenni Tay (featuring Trisha Vezirian, aka Buff Cougar)In this lively episode of The Rob V Show, co-hosted by Rob Velivis and Playboy Playmate Jenni Tay, they welcome guest Trisha Vezirian—better known as Buff Cougar. A former IFBB Pro bodybuilder, session girl, and OnlyFans model, Trisha opens up about her dynamic career in fitness, entertainment, and more.The conversation also celebrates the show's nomination for AVN's Favorite Adult Podcast, which means Rob now has to get a tattoo and pick out the perfect outfit for the red carpet. They dive into a slew of wild topics, and in a surprising revelation, Jenni learns that Rob has never dated anyone.

This is our NEW RELEASE review podcast, ONE HOT TAKE.Synopsis:A newly sober man's Christmas Eve dental emergency leads to an unexpected romance with his older dentist as they explore Baltimore together.Katie Walsh is a Los Angeles-based film critic, journalist, podcast host, and moderator. She reviews weekly film releases for the Tribune News Service, and the Los Angeles Times, and is a frequent guest host of the Maximum Fun podcast Switchblade Sisters. Her writing has been published in Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone, Playboy,The Playlist, Nerdist,Slate, The Hairpin, indieWIRE, Women and Hollywood, Town & Country, Movieline, CAP the Magazine, and Nonfics, and she frequently contributes film reviews to KCRW's Press Play with Madeline Brand. She has covered many international film festivals as a critic and reporter, and has moderated dozens of Q&As with filmmakers and actors around LA.Check out Rotten Tomatoes for links to recent reviews.One Heat Minute ProductionsWEBSITE: oneheatminute.comTWITTER: @OneBlakeMinute & @OHMPodsMERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/en-au/stores/one-heat-minute-productionsSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/one-heat-minute-productions/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

International mountain day. Entertainment from 8008. 1st penus transplant, Indiana became 19th state, Libertarian Party formed, Last issue with nude pics in Playboy. Todays birthdays - Big Mama Thornton, Rita Moreno, David Gates, Brenda Lee, Teri Garr, Jermaine Jackson, Nikki Sixx, Mo'nique, Hailee Steinfeld. Anne Rice died.Intro - God did good - Dianna Corcoran    https://www.diannacorcoran.com/ I love the mountains - Super simple songs for kidsLove your life - T.I.  RihannaChicken Fried - Zac Brown BandBirthday - The BeatlesBirthdays - In da club - 50 Cent     http://50cent.com/Hound Dog - Big Mama ThorntonMake it with you - BreadRockin' around the christmas tree - Brenda LeeI'll be there - Jackson 5Kickstart my heart - Motley CrueExit - Mistletoe - Royal Wade Krimescountryundergroundradio.comHistory & Factoids about today webpage

Brian and Ed return for Episode 604 with a full buffet of lifestyle commentary, questionable nostalgia, and highly suspect fashion choices. They break down the Piers Morgan vs. Nick Fuentes ridiculousness, Brian's dark descent into Facebook Marketplace (including an adult-sized Stone Cold Steve Austin leather vest priced at $200), and Lee Majors' incredible romantic résumé. Then it's on to RIPs—including architectural giant Frank Gehry, NBA big man Elden Campbell, and adult entertainer Rhett Messerly (a name the guys may never emotionally recover from). Sports talk includes the World Cup draw fiasco starring Wayne Gretzky's complete inability to pronounce “Curaçao,” an AI snow-bunny scam that hustled Matt Barnes out of $61k, and the theory that Megan Thee Stallion may be responsible for Klay Thompson's cold shooting streak. Plus: bowling ball logistics, fried chicken diplomacy, holiday meat-and-three strategy, Ed's all-time lovemaking music pick, and a critical investigation into Marcus Freeman's painted-on hairline. All wrapped up with listener voicemails, Christmas spirit, questionable sexual position physics, and a RoboCop statue reveal that brings Brian to tears. Topics Discussed Lifestyle & Culture Piers Morgan interviews Nick Fuentes: surprise—he's terrible. Brian's Facebook Marketplace addiction deepens. The $200 Stone Cold Steve Austin leather vest listing. Lee Majors' legendary dating history (Farrah! Lindsay! Playboy models!). The truth about fishing: nope. The mystery of Marcus Freeman's hairline. Hilaria Baldwin workout videos and the curse/blessing of the Baldwin household. RIP Corner Frank Gehry—architecture titan behind the Disney Concert Hall. Elden Campbell—Lakers/Pistons big man, gone at 57. Steve Cropper—Stax Records legend. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa—Mortal Kombat & Rising Sun standout. Rhett Messerly—adult-film performer with an all-time Hall of Fame name. Sports The botched World Cup draw + Wayne Gretzky vs. pronunciation. Matt Barnes loses $61,000 to an AI sexting scam. Jason Williams blames Klay Thompson's slump on Megan Thee Stallion. Notre Dame refuses to play a bowl game—Brian & Ed are not surprised. RoboCop Statue Update Detroit finally unveils its long-awaited 11-foot RoboCop statue. Brian and Ed celebrate the true cinematic prophecy of RoboCop. Voicemail Hall of Fame Bowling ball winter-care dilemmas. Fried chicken diplomacy panic-call. Collard greens conversation that goes places. Sex music of choice: Lenny Kravitz vs. Al Green. Christmas blessings from a loyal listener + plug for Ed's Christmas book. Listener Questions & Voicemails This week's callers weigh in on: How many bowling balls you should flex at the office Whether fried chicken can ever be “racist” Collard greens selection Sex playlist strategies Holiday greetings & Ed's updated Christmas book Call 949-464-TBLS to join the fun. Support the Show Join the Patreon for weekly bonus content:patreon.com/theballerlifestyle Bonus show “Bonus Brian” every week on Patreon! Brian and Ed return with another absolutely unhinged installment of The Baller Lifestyle Podcast. Episode 604 covers everything from Facebook Marketplace disasters to RIP tributes, awkward harmonica criticism, and the immortal name Rhett Messerly. In this episode:• Piers Morgan interviews incel mascot Nick Fuentes• Brian discovers a $200 Stone Cold Steve Austin LEATHER VEST on Facebook Marketplace• The Lee Majors dating résumé: an all-timer• RIP Frank Gehry, Elden Campbell, Steve Cropper & more• Wayne Gretzky butchers “Curaçao” during the World Cup draw• Matt Barnes gets scammed out of $61k by an AI snow-bunny• Is Megan Thee Stallion ruining Klay Thompson's jump shot?• Notre Dame refuses to play a bowl game—classic• Listener voicemails: bowling ball thermodynamics, fried chicken diplomacy, collard greens confusion, sex music philosophy, and Christmas cheer• Detroit's 11-foot RoboCop statue debuts—Prophecy fulfilled Plus: Marcus Freeman's painted-on hairline, Hilaria Baldwin workout thirst-traps, and the Jackie Vernon “four families” saga. FULL AUDIO: Available everywhere you get podcasts.Join the Patreon for weekly bonus episodes: patreon.com/theballerlifestyle Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Learn why human voices drive digital transformation. Alex Wunschel explains how voice builds trust, shapes culture, and makes leaders relatable. Get concrete tips to speak authentically, train voice skills, and embed audio into internal communication. Hear real examples and pitfalls to avoid in corporate podcasting. About Alexander Wunschel Alexander Wunschel is a founder, podcast pioneer, and producer with over 17 years of experience in the audio industry. He is the owner and executive of Klangstelle, a podcast company that offers the finest audio pieces from strategy and conception to production and marketing. He has produced and managed over 1.000 episodes in over 35 podcasts with about 8 million downloads and streams for clients such as Telekom, Fujitsu, Playboy, Starbucks, Datev, GAD, Microsoft, and many more. He is also a strategy consultant for digital media, a keynote speaker. He is passionate about the impact of sound, immersive and augmented audio, voice user interface, privacy, security, OSINT, MarTech, AdTech, meditation, and cooking. Resources  Klangstelle: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexanderwunschel/ Please, hit the follow button and leave your feedback: Apple Podcast: https://www.cxgoalkeeper.com/apple Spotify: https://www.cxgoalkeeper.com/spotify Follow Gregorio Uglioni on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregorio-uglioni/ Gregorio Uglioni is a seasoned transformation leader with over 15 years of experience shaping business and digital change, consistently delivering service excellence and measurable impact. As an Associate Partner at Forward, he is recognized for his strategic vision, operational expertise, and ability to drive sustainable growth. A respected keynote speaker and host of the well-known global podcast Business Transformation Pitch with the CX Goalkeeper, Gregorio energizes and inspires organizations worldwide with his customer-centric approach to innovation.

Music behind DJ: Booker T. & the MG's - "Fannie Mae" - 45 Joe Simon - "Just Like Yesterday" - 45 Etta James - "Next Door to the Blues" - 45 Joe Tex - "I Wanna Be Free" - 45 Betty Everett - "I'll Be There" - 45 Music behind DJ: Booker T. & the MG's - "Plum-Nellie" - 45 The Fuller Brothers - "Moanin', Groanin', and Cryin'" - 45 The Dynamics - "I Need Your Love" - 45 James Bynum - "Up and Down" - 45 Mary Davis - "Danger! (Playboy at Work)" - 45 Music behind DJ: Booker T. & the MG's - "Aw' Mercy" - 45 Jimmy Holiday & Clydie King - "Ready, Willing and Able" - 45 Demon Brothers - "Uh-Huh" - 45 Regina Sherard - "A Woman's Work is Never Done" - 45 Paul Griffin - "Here I Come" - 45 Music behind DJ: Booker T. & the MG's - "Can't Be Still" - 45 The Showmen - "You're Everything" - 45 The Decisions - "I Can't Forget About You" - 45 C.J. Leach - "Branded" - 45 Denise LaSalle - "Good Goody Getter" - 45 Music behind DJ: Booker T. & the MG's - "Hip Hug-Her" - 45 Rufus Thomas - "Funky Mississippi" - 45 Romona Jones - "Shows All Over Your Face" - 45 Music behind DJ: Booker T. & the MG's - "Soul Dressing" - 45 https://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/158914

Anna Davlantes, WGN Radio's investigative correspondent, joins Bob Sirott to share what happened this week in Chicago history. Stories include the death of Lee Harvey Oswald, the release of “The Super Bowl Shuffle,” the first issue of Playboy magazine, and more. Sponsored by UI Health.

THE BALLER LIFESTYLE PODCAST — EPISODE 603 Hosted by: Brian Beckner & Ed Daly Support the show: patreon.com/theballerlifestylepodcast FULL SHOW NOTES (APPLE PODCAST COMPREHENSIVE EDITION) Cold Open / Welcome Back Brian returns with Episode 603 of TBLS and immediately shouts out the Patreon crew—home of Bonus Bri, emotional sobriety updates, and all the private crying he refuses to do in public. Ed Daly joins and promptly delivers breaking news about an NFL player suspended for watching porn in a team meeting… at full volume. Chaos ensues. Thanksgiving Recap & Tea Talk Brian discovers green tea and is suddenly a Tea Guy. Ed forgets his tea entirely and feels betrayed. Listener debate begins: Should grown adults realistically be drinking gravy more than once a year? (The answer is apparently controversial.) ️ Woke Up Gay Again Mug Saga Brian receives a custom “Woke Up Gay Again” mug—plus his very own “gay card”—leading to: His daughter roasting him into dust. White pants discourse. Questions about whether the mug should be kept in his wallet for emergency resuscitation. ToeCutter strikes again. RIP Segment The boys honor (and roast) the deceased: Lynn Hamilton (Sanford & Son) Grandma the Galápagos Tortoise – lived 141 years, witnessed centuries of atrocities, said nothing. Randy Jones (Padres Cy Young winner, patron saint of 70s brown-and-yellow uniforms) Fuzzy Zoeller (apparently not 97 years old, though he looked it since 1997) ️ / Sports News Browns DL Shelby Harris calls 49ers WR Jauan Jennings a “hoe” And he clarifies it. Repeatedly. Patrick Beverley accused of punching and choking his teenage sister The guys discuss: Pat Bev's history of talking more than he plays The creepiness of men policing teenage girls' sex lives Whether Jay Stew thinks athletes should have podcasts (spoiler: he doesn't) Pickleball vs. Carmel, CA Carmel considers banning pickleball because it's “too noisy.” Brian rants about temporary courts, olds blowing Achilles tendons, and why tennis is superior. Drake Maye Spotted at His Girlfriend's Adult Cheer Competition Wait—adult cheer competitions? The guys spiral into: When activities should end What counts as “aging gracefully” The disturbing traditions of Texas A&M (midnight yell practice, dungarees, kick routines) Listener Voicemails & Mailbag Ben Astounded that Brian & Ed only consume gravy once a year. Matthew Richards Asks if Ed would peek at Hitler's infamous micro-penis if gifted a time machine. (Consensus: obviously yes.) Gfish Offers to file a complaint against Jay Stew's online bullies. Toe Cuttter Sends physical mail (!) including the mug and gay card, then demands: “Loudest Comer” rankings More show minutes A commitment to being “as gay as we want to be” Loudest Comer Power Rankings Chris Farley > John Belushi Dick Vitale > Harry Caray Air Bud Cinematic Universe: likely the evil clown, not Air Bud himself David Silver's mom (90210) receives an honorable mention Non-Sports: Weird News, Sexual Disasters & Political Horrors Hitler Micro-Penis Discourse Time travel urinal etiquette. Historical dick analysis. Rasputin's jar-encased hog. RFK Jr. Felching Poetry Scandal Brian & Ed read actual RFK sext-poems involving: “Harvests” “Canyons” “Don't spill a drop” Full-on National Institute of Health–certified felching definitions Listeners are begged to call in if they've ever actually felched (unlikely, but we're listening). UK Man Hospitalized After Eating 7 Pounds of Gummy Cola Bottles Relatable to a point. Then horrifying. Hugh Hefner reportedly drank 20 Pepsis a day + 3 lbs of M&Ms The true cause of Playboy longevity? Macaulay Culkin legally changes his middle name to Macaulay Culkin The poll results are honored. Italian Man Dresses as Dead Mother to Collect Pension Mrs. Doubtfire but make it mortifying. Smokey Robinson Accused of Forcing Strangers to Touch His Erection Brian plays tracks from GASMS, Smokey's actual album filled with sex songs to confirm: Yes, this man is capable of anything. SUPPORT THE SHOW Patreon subscribers get extended dong talk + bonus content weekly. Join here: patreon.com/theballerlifestylepodcast Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This podcast is with Adam Skolnick, an award-winning independent journalist and author covering adventure sports, environmental issues, travel and human rights for The New York Times, Outside, Playboy and Lonely Planet. He is the author of One Breath: Freediving, Death and the Quest to Shatter Human Limits, the ghost writer and narrator of David Goggins' smash hit memoir and audiobook Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds, and he is a co-host on the Rich Roll Podcast. His latest book, American Tiger, is available to order now. (I've read it and it fucking rocks.) In this episode, we talk about the state of publishing today, the Southern California wilderness, and creativity as lantern offerings. Follow Adam's Substack here.If you dig this podcast, will you please leave a short review on Apple Podcasts? It takes less than 60 seconds and makes a difference when I drop to my knees and beg hard-to-get guests on the show. I read them all. You can watch this podcast on my YouTube channel and join my newsletter on Substack. It's glorious. My first book, ONE LAST QUESTION BEFORE YOU GO, is available to order today. Get full access to Kyle Thiermann at thiermann.substack.com/subscribe

277. Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   1 John 1:9 AMP "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”   *Transcription Below*   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.   Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.   Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake.    Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth.   Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball.   Free Resource Mentioned in Episode   Building True Intimacy book   Questions and Topics Discussed: What were the warning signs that you noticed when you were newlyweds that tipped you off to believing things weren't quite as they seemed? Are there any common life circumstances, whether nature or nurture, that predispose someone to be more likely to struggle with a sexual addiction? As couples seek to thrive in marriage, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid you wrote a book about?   Other Episodes Mentioned During Episode: Pornography: Protecting Children, Personal Healing, Recovery, and Victory in Christ with Sam Black Pornography Addiction and Helpful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day   Additional Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Stories Series: Recovery From Sexual Sin in Marriage with Garrett and Brenna Naufel Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Special Patreon Re-Release Wholehearted Quiet Time with Naomi Vacaro   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:12)   Laura Dugger: (0:13 - 1:38) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com, or connect with them on Facebook.   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are my guests today. They are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Our conversation takes a few turns, from getting to hear their incredible and vulnerable story of healing and then getting tips for talking to our children about topics like sex, and also even receiving some practical wisdom and tips for enhancing our own marital enjoyment.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Matthew and Joanna.   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:39 - 1:40) So good to be here.   Joanna Raabsmith: (1:40 - 1:42) So glad to be here. Thanks for having us.   Laura Dugger: (1:42 - 1:51) Oh, truly my pleasure. And let's just start here. Can you share your story going back to meeting and falling in love and your first part of marriage?   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:53 - 2:17) Sure, yeah. It was a little bumpy at first, actually. So, I knew Joanna through her brother. Joanna's brother was one of my best friends, and I got to meet her whenever she would come in town and visit, and she would invade guy night. He would usually bring her along to like a Lord of the Rings movie or something, and I would be a little frustrated because I would be like, oh, you brought your sister. Great. That's wonderful.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:18 - 2:24) A little off-putting, not super friendly. And I was like, your friend's kind of a jerk. We did not like each other at all in the beginning.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:24 - 2:54) Not big fans. And eventually over some time, we started to realize we had a lot in common. We liked to do a lot of the same things.   And one summer that Joanna was in town, we started hanging out, started doing more and more together, and really just kind of developed a friendship, which was really fun. And at the very end of the summer, realized that there was something between us. And so, we went on one date.   Our first date, we entered a golf tournament. We won it, and that was a good sign.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:54 - 2:55) That's a pretty good sign.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:55 - 3:02) And we went on three more dates over the course of two months and got engaged.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:03 - 3:07) And then two months after that, we got married.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:07 - 3:16) Yeah. So, her brother went from like, yeah, it's cool you date my sister, to like, you're not ready to get married. But he's come around now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:17 - 3:19) 15 years later. Yeah.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:19 - 3:40) And, you know, a lot of it was, I think we had a definite sense of being kind of called together, being, you know, something special about who we were as a couple. And also, a recognition that we wanted to figure out what a good marriage looked like. We were really excited about marriage, but we didn't really know what we were doing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:41 - 4:15) Yeah, I've had a really great model of healthy relationship. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They work really well as a team.   And so, I knew, like, I want something like that. But as soon as we got married, we realized, but how do you actually build that? There's no, like, instruction manual for, okay, here are the things to do to have a great relationship.   And so, we read books. We went to conferences. You know, we did what we could, but we still found ourselves getting stuck, not able to really create, like, that deep sense of, like, connection intimacy that we really wanted.   Matthew Raabsmith: (4:15 - 5:17) And we started kind of hunting more and more for resources. We found some incredible resources that really changed our understanding of the way relationships work, the way people work, and really, for us, shifted our entire focus of kind of what we wanted to do, even with our life. And as we started to do that, though, we still kind of found ourselves at this kind of glass wall.   We felt like no matter what we tried, there was always this kind of distance between us. And that started to grow kind of over the years that we were together. It wasn't getting better.   It was actually kind of getting worse and worse and worse. And so, Joanna had actually decided to, after we finished our first grad degree together, the idea was we were going to go be pastors. And so, we had finished our kind of theological training.   Joanna decided she wanted to get a master's in marriage and family therapy so we could do some work around marriages and ministry in that way. And her very first-class kind of just set our life in a completely different direction.   Joanna Raabsmith: (5:17 - 6:26) Yes. So, my first class in the MFT program was a two-week intensive called Shame and Guilt. So, that's a really fun two-week intensive to be a part of. And as a part of that, though, they had an anonymous pastor come and share his testimony of struggling with sex addiction, becoming sober, getting into good recovery, healing and restoration in his marriage, kind of like that whole journey. And as he was talking, something inside of me started stirring. And I knew, OK, what he's saying is resonating way too much with me right now.   I think this is the thing. This is what is keeping us stuck, not able to really create the relationship we want. And so, that day I went home and first I just kind of started talking about my class, what I learned, what this pastor had shared.   Right. And nothing. Right.   We're just kind of talking generally about it. And so, finally I couldn't do it anymore. And I just stopped and I looked him square in the eyes and I said, “Are you struggling with this in our marriage right now?”   Matthew Raabsmith: (6:26 - 8:03) Yeah. And for the first time in my life, 20 years, I had been struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and acting out in our marriage. And for the first time in my life, I was honest.   I had lied for years, both with Joanna and everyone else. And the kind of floodgates just kind of opened up. And I finally said yes.   And it was really hearing the story, I think, is what did it for me. I think it was knowing that somebody else had made it, that their life hadn't come crashing down because that was the greatest fear for me. That the moment anyone found this out, everything in my life would be over. Everything that I loved would be gone.   And so, this kind of story of hope gave me a little bit of courage that day, to be honest. But that started a really long journey for us because there was a lot of damage that was done in both of my hiding. And now kind of this revelation, all the pain kind of came crashing down on Joanna and kind of her shoulders.   And so, we started a quite intensive recovery process. We talked about it being kind of a full-time job. I went to recovery for my addiction and for kind of my acting out behaviors. Joanna had to begin a process of healing from the trauma of this discovery. And that process took us a number of years. It really was a long kind of arduous journey, but one that we ultimately survived and now thrive in our marriage and get the incredible luxury and the kind of gift of helping other couples do that.   So, that's kind of where we find ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (8:04 - 8:30) That is incredible. I just really appreciate you sharing your story. Clearly, stories are so powerful and that's what led to some healing for you and hopefully can open the floodgates for somebody else listening.   So, if we go back in your story, then, Joanna, I'd love to start with you. What were some of those red flags in early marriage that things aren't quite as they seem?   Joanna Raabsmith: (8:31 - 10:28) Yeah, there are a few. You know, I think that, you know, one of the pieces we kind of talked about, like, OK, we knew we're still getting stuck because there's 90 percent that felt really good. But then 10 percent that was extremely chaotic, really destructive.   Right. We would get we call the pain cycles when we get emotionally dysregulated. And there would be some things that, right.   Sometimes we would get into pain cycles, get dysregulated. And I kind of understand why. Right.   Like something happened. There was the disagreement. But other times I couldn't put my finger on it.   Right. Matthew would just get really angry and really shut down. And I wouldn't be able to connect it to anything that had happened in our life.   And so, it was very confusing. It was really hard to understand what was going on. And I think kind of in the same way, when I would pull too close into that connection, that intimacy, he would pull back.   Right. And it felt like even though we both named this goal and this desire, he would never actually partner with me in it. And so, again, that was really confusing because the actions were not matching up with reality and what was happening.   And I think the other piece that was kind of true for us and true for a lot of other people is that our own sexual relationship was fraught with pain. And so, there was, again, a lot that was really good, but also a lot that was really painful and confusing. And some of the pieces just didn't connect.   Right. And I would wonder, OK, what's going on? Well, I guess this is just the reality that like this is how much we get to expect in this area of our life, right.   In our relationship. And so, it was when the pastor started describing his life and addiction and what that looked like emotionally, sexually, relationally. I was like, oh, those are all the things that I'm currently experiencing.   Here's one thing that would answer all those questions that I have. And so, I think that was part of it. He kind of told me, like, OK, this is it.   Laura Dugger: (10:28 - 11:00) That would be so eye opening. And my heart's going out to the couple who is maybe starting to identify with this. Was it and share whatever you're comfortable with from your story or the person's story who opened things up to you?   So, sexually, I'm wondering if it was for you, Joanna, if you were hoping to connect sexually and that wasn't happening and that was confusing. You didn't feel pursued. But I don't want to fill in the blanks.   So, could you elaborate?   Joanna Raabsmith: (11:00 - 12:03) Absolutely. Yeah. And we find it a lot of different ways than couples that we work with.   Right. And so, it can be sometimes on either side of the extreme. And so, for us, it was where there would be kind of times when he'd be fully present and interested and engaged. Right. And then all of a sudden, kind of like I described emotionally, he would just withdraw and not be there. And I would reach out to connect.   And that was this like non-response. And which, again, didn't match up with those other times when he was engaged and wanting to connect. And he would give some sort of excuse that didn't totally make sense.   Right. But I was kind of like, what else? What was I left with except that?   So, I would kind of believe that and go with it, even though it didn't sit right. And so, yeah, I think that was part of it. We will see on the other side for some other couples.   It's the opposite. And maybe that spouse is hypersexual in the relationship. Right.   To the point where there might be pressure, even pressure to do things sexually that people aren't comfortable with. And so, yeah, it can look a lot of different ways. But that was kind of what our disconnect looked like.   Laura Dugger: (12:04 - 12:33) That's so helpful. And there's two different directions I want to go, Matthew. So, I'll set it up.   I guess I'm thinking of the guilt and shame and how those are usually so present. So, I have two questions. Were you when Joanna came to you, were you at a point where you recognize something was off and you wanted freedom from this and or had tried freedom before?   Let's start with that and then I'll go into the other one.   Matthew Raabsmith: (12:34 - 14:40) Yeah, it really was holy timing in a lot of ways. I, you know, for a lot of years I had I hated what I did. I didn't feel like I could stop it, but didn't have a lot of interest in kind of doing anything to stop it.   I kind of just like would just say, “OK, this is going to be the last time.” And then, you know, of course it would come back. But I think at this point I had really started to see the damage that was happening to our relationship.   I could feel us growing close, growing further apart. I could see kind of Joanna and the confusion that she was having. And like she couldn't understand things.   She would ask me a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. And so, I actually a couple of months earlier, we were at a worship service, and they had said like, “hey, if you are ready to give something up, if you feel like there's something holding you back, come forward and confess it.” And Joanna and I were sitting next to each other, and I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit just like pulling me to like get up out of my seat and I wouldn't move.   I was like, no, because she's going to ask me what I went down for. I'm going there's you know, there's a random kind of prayer partner at the front. I'm like, I'm not going and confessing this to some random person.   And so, I was ready. But I think like I said, I think there was no path forward. It was kind of confess this and everything stops and ends.   But everything like marriage ends, life ends. And so, when she when she brought this, it really did feel like God had kind of been answering a prayer that I've been praying of like, if you give me a way out, I'll take it. I'm desperate.   I want it to stop. And it felt like that. I think it was both this kind of terror and this hope that day.   And even when I said, yes, it was a little bit like, what have I done? Like, could this have been different? Should I have just gone and told someone else privately?   Right. But I think ultimately that it was out between the two of us and that we kind of knew it. We knew what we were dealing with made a huge difference.   But I mean, God had been working in my life, offering opportunities for so long. I just been saying no, no, no. And then finally, you know, I think my heart just broke and it was like, yes, OK, I'm ready for this.   Laura Dugger: (14:40 - 15:14) I love how the Holy Spirit equipped you with that humility and courage to be brave in that moment. And it's such a blessing for all of us to get to see the end or I guess not the end of the story, but you at this point in your story where you're thriving. And so, I hope that offers a lot of hope to people listening.   But let's also pause. And so, going back further in time, Matthew, this was the other part of my question. What was life and attachment and your growing up journey like?   Matthew Raabsmith: (15:15 - 18:09) Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. Right. I a lot of this I figured out in the last couple of years of recovery.   You know, if you would have asked me, you know, as I was growing up about my life, I would have told you I had the perfect family. I had the perfect life. I think I did not realize that some of the things that I was going through weren't perfect, were harder.   And part of that was because I think the way my family dynamic worked was we just swept everything under the rug. You know, whatever happened, we just kind of went, OK, and moved on from. And I learned to do that as a kid.   And that meant a lot of emotional chaos. There was a lot of physical chaos and kind of volatility in our house growing up. And even though I had parents who are still married to this day, have stayed together and have tried to create kind of a stable life.   There was a lot of emotional and kind of relational instability. We moved around a lot. And then once we started moving, I found myself more and more kind of isolated at school. I started dealing with bullying and some things that really kind of left me not knowing how to deal with the pain that I was going through. And so, my way of stuffing things under the rug was getting, you know, escaping, you know, kind of escaping into anything that I could. I watched a lot of TV.   I was a latchkey kid, so I would come home. I'd watch TV a lot in the afternoon and then TV kind of just turned to more and more. And I was exposed pretty young to pornography, actually at a church camp.   I was at a summer church camp. Someone brought a Playboy magazine, and I was exposed to pornography. And I kind of felt that high, that rush.   And that just became kind of a mode of my escape. Right. Of whatever I could do to engage sexually, whether with my mind or with others.   That's how I could get out of the pain I was in. That's how I could stop feeling kind of the chaos that I was having and not realizing that it was becoming this kind of adaptive habit, that it would just be this thing I would go back to more and more. And I grew up at a time that technology was still emerging.   So, I can remember when we got our first computer and no one was talking about safeguards or anything. And so, it was just kind of exposure. Here you go.   Here's everything you could ever want and don't need. And that really became my life. And the more and more that I did, the better and better I got at lying and hiding and even being kind of vulnerable in kind of fake ways.   I would mention things like, yeah, we all have this struggle. And even Joanna, I had told like, you know, that was a struggle of mine in the past, but I've moved on from it. Right.   I told myself and other people just kind of lie after lie after lie so that I could have really this double life. I could appear one way and then I could be acting a completely different way, kind of in the dark.   Laura Dugger: (18:10 - 20:41) Yeah. And that makes sense. I'm thinking back to two episodes.   We did one with a male, Sam Black from Covenant Eyes, and he speaks so much of the origins of pornography and that foothold that Satan gets. And so many times it is in childhood, unwittingly you're exposed and then what it can turn into. And then Crystal Renaud Day came on to share a lot of females struggle with this as well.   And so, I'll link to those if those are a help.   And now a brief message from our sponsor. 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For me, I had to figure out what had really gone on in my life and what was really happening.   Because, like I said, I had become such an expert at hiding from myself and others that I didn't really know how to live any other way. And so, I, you know, Joanna kind of handed me a list of everything this pastor had done. She was like, here you go.   Right. She kind of handed me that list and was like, good luck. And so, I dove in.   I went to a men's intensive. And I think that was probably one of the key places for me to tell my story for the first time. I really took a look at my life and had some people help me take a look and recognize the trauma that I had as a kid exposure that I had experienced and what that really meant to me and helped me understand what I was doing.   But also, kind of what I was doing to myself, how I was really kind of killing myself from the inside out and preventing myself from having the kind of relationship I wanted with God and other people. And so, that discovery was in really ways kind of invigorating for me. I felt like I was living for the first time.   I think I had started to kind of get out of this kind of burden, this fear of always being caught. I told Joanna kind of the history of everything that had happened in my life and our relationship. And so, I was feeling this kind of renewed sense of like energy and excitement of like, this is good.   I want this life. I want the life there that I'm not in constant kind of fear and in constant kind of connection to this thing I hate. And so, which is really different than what Joanna was experiencing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (22:30 - 25:07) Yeah. So, for me, it was very jarring in the beginning. Everything I thought was real came crashing down around me.   And that was especially jarring because I had left kind of the direction, the path that I was on. Right. We talked about our story earlier.   It included two months of dating, two months of engagement before we got married. And that also included me dropping out of law school, getting married and moving to California to pursue a ministry degree so we could work as pastors together or do something together. And so, in that moment, all of that came crashing down.   And I kind of was very lost, not just in our relationship, but in kind of what in the world am I even doing here? What am I going to do moving forward if he doesn't choose recovery? Right.   And so, just all of those question marks, all in that one moment of him answering that question affirmative. And so, so there was like that heaviness on one side and then on the other side was this relief of finally everything I've been experiencing makes sense. Right. Finally, I feel like I actually know what's going on. And because of that, there could maybe be a path forward for us as well. So, is this very, very weird dichotomy in that moment? And so, but I think I knew right away, like, I can't be vulnerable. I can't be intimate with him anymore. Right.   I have to step back in our relationship and wait and see what he chooses to do. Is he going to choose to do the work of recovery and get healthy and start to be honest and safe or not? And so, that's so we kind of did kind of there's some space for a very long period of time while we focused on our own individual recoveries.   And that, again, was a little bumpy for me. This is over a decade ago. And so, there is very little information about what partners experience.   We call it betrayal trauma, and that just wasn't a very common word at the time. And so, some of the resources I plugged into came from a more we would call it codependent, co-addict focus, which just really didn't fit. So, I struggled to find resources that felt like they fit for my journey.   But once I did, it all again, my own healing process started to make sense. And it was so like freeing and liberating to understand. Like, oh, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is why I feel this way.   This is what it looks like to heal and move forward. And so, kind of beginning that process was so important because then when Matthew was kind of in a healthy, safe place, I was as well, and we can start to step in towards each other on that kind of more couples' journey at that point.   Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:17) I love how you did that wisely, though, separate first, not rushing into couples at that time. Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (25:18 - 26:33) Appreciate you calling it wise. I think we were terrified. Yeah, we'll take God's help.   I think he was like, you guys just work on your own stuff for a while. And in some ways, like I said, it was we didn't know what we were doing. But I think we knew we wanted there to be a future between the two of us.   But we knew it had to be completely different in some ways than what we had before, which was scary because we liked what we had before. Like we had a really great marriage in many ways. Right.   There was this portion of it, this hidden portion that was really infecting and killing it all. But what we did have together, we didn't want to totally lose. It just was really hard to know, especially early on, what's going to come forward.   Like, who are we still going to be as we go forward? Are we still going to be a couple who does things together? Right. Who works together? Or is that all kind of going to have to be different? Is that the only way that we have kind of moving forward?   And so, that was that was probably the hardest part was having like this sense of like not wanting to lose us. We were like, if we lost that, that was going to be miserable. And I think a lot of our work was about how do we eventually reclaim this marriage that we want, that we love?   Laura Dugger: (26:34 - 27:04) Yes, because from what I'm sensing, you're friends with each other, you're on purpose or on mission with God. He did a course correction change, putting you on this path to help couples. But your desire to work together, it's like He still honored that in the ministry of reconciliation.   And I'm assuming abundantly blessed it beyond what you could ever dreamed up what we're doing now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (27:04 - 27:42) Right. It's been amazing to see what God has done, how he's used our story, which is so fitting because it was someone sharing their story that brought our healing. And I think because of that and it wasn't right away; it took some time to get to the place where we felt open to God using our story to bring healing to others. But we found as we stepped into that, that we have received such a blessing.   Right. And just being able to sit with other couples in that journey and see them go from that place of pain and confusion to this place of restoration and thriving. Like there is no better work that we could have imagined for ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (27:42 - 28:09) Love that. And really, you did have to pioneer a path. There weren't many resources at that time.   So, that's another reason I'm grateful you can share your story, because I hope it unlocks freedom for others. So, if we're turning more outward now and you're helping as you work with couples, how do you help them identify the difference between sexual struggles and sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (28:10 - 30:15) Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that it really kind of exists on a spectrum. And so, everything kind of exists under what we call problematic sexual behavior or unwanted sexual behavior.   Whenever someone is acting in a way sexually that doesn't align with their values. And then the question is, is how often, how compulsive, right? How habituated, right?   How really embedded is that practice? Because the more and more embedded it is and the more and more that I continue to act on that, seeing the damage that it's doing, that's really what qualifies as the addiction. The addiction is when I know that this is causing harm and I and I feel that even though I want to stop it and I've tried to stop.   Right. I can't stop the 12 steps has a great line. They say addicts, you know, addicts have no problem stopping.   It's staying stopped. That's hard for an addict. Right.   And so, that's usually a sign that there's an addiction. And really what that means is that just means that I'm going to have to be even more kind of thorough and scrupulous in my willingness to change a lot. Because if I have built an addictive lifestyle, that means everything I do kind of functions to support that lifestyle.   Right. And so, my part of that was this hiding. I lied about everything.   I would lie about anything just to make sure that I was in control of the narrative. And so, for me, it was recognizing that if I was going to move forward free of my addiction, then it had to begin with honesty, with this kind of radical honesty and transparency and growing in that consistently, because that was the way that I manifested this addiction and kind of kept it going. And so, that's really what the addiction is about, is recognizing what are the kind of pieces in my life that are supporting this addiction to continue to exist?   And how is God going to dismantle those things? Right. And how am I going to be a part of that dismantling?   Laura Dugger: (30:16 - 30:33) That's well said. And also, I'm curious, are there any common life circumstances, whether that's nature or nurture, that are more likely to predispose someone to more likely have this struggle with sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (30:34 - 32:30) I mean, there are, I think, you know, the things that we tend to look for are trauma and trauma comes in so many different forms. So, trauma is more it's rare that it's a single event. It's often more a kind of consistent occurrences.   As I mentioned, you know, I can't speak to kind of one event in my life that I say this was the traumatic moment in which everything changed. But it was more of the chaos. And so, I grew up in a family that could be really, really, really loving and incredibly encouraging and fun and silly and in a heartbeat switch into one that was verbally and physically just chaotic and terrifying.   And it was that chaos that kept me on edge. What it did was it created in me kind of a system of always wanting to be on high alert. And that would exhaust me.   That would kind of wear me out. And I would want to kind of numb that kind of feeling away. And so, I think those traumas, I do think early exposure.   Right. I mean, I was exposed early before my brain was ready to really understand what it was dealing with. And I think the third component that we often see is a low level or a kind of really a void of sexual education.   There was I'm sure I had a small talk with my dad at some point, but we were not talking about pornography. We weren't talking about bodies. We weren't talking about sex from a kind of healthy, good way.   I grew up in the church, and it was kind of don't do this until you're married and then you'll be fine. Right. That was the sexual education message.   And so, those things, right, trauma, exposure and lack of kind of education usually forms in someone a difficulty of knowing what they're doing, knowing that it's destroying them before it's really kind of gotten a deep hole.   Joanna Raabsmith: (32:30 - 33:20) I think like the brain. The brain aspect to when we talk about addiction, there are usually chemicals involved in addiction being formed, being created. And so, I think also co-occurring disorders, right, that emotional pain, also things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, where my brain really likes the dopamine it gets from sexual acting out. Right.   And you can actually need it to feel OK. That can also be a factor in kind of especially that addictive side of these behaviors. When my brain gets really attached to that dopamine release that it's getting because maybe I have some other things going on or I just have emotional pain.   I don't know what to deal with, how to handle it, how to regulate that in a healthy way.   Laura Dugger: (33:20 - 34:30) There's so many good points there. I'll just highlight one because there's a profound piece that you were talking about with early exposure to evil and the corruption of it is extremely harmful. And yet not being exposed to God's good design for sex and hopefully being coached by our parents, that is both of those play a part in the addiction. And so, I'm thinking even as we shift to think about parents, I know I've had parents come to me and just say, I don't want to talk about this with my kids.   I don't want to rob their innocence. And my approach is if God made it, this is good. We can talk to them.   You're not robbing their innocence when you're sharing the good age-appropriate parts of sex. And it's so great to be that first one to share with them. And I think it does the opposite of what we would expect.   We're afraid that that might make them hyper sexualized. But would you speak to that? Any encouragement for parents?   Matthew Raabsmith: (34:30 - 36:37) Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, even as parents, we've got kids and its still kind of navigating it. But I do think what it does is it lets someone learn the things they need to in the timeline they need to.   I think part of one of the things is that, you know, really good sexual education starts young. I mean, they start six and seven years old or even younger, just talking about our bodies. Right.   Because I think that's part of it. Really, this is about understanding the goodness of our bodies. This body was created by God, the maker of heaven and earth, and he called it good.   And so, I think part of a good sexual education begins with that. And then, what's really nice is once you've started the conversation, that means if your children are exposed or if they're presented with things that don't line up with what they've been hearing, they now feel safe to come and talk about that. Because that's really what this was about.   I didn't feel safe to talk about what I was exposed to, what people were doing. Right. And what people were encouraging me to engage in.   And so, you know, my parents would ask me how it's going. I would not tell them anything because it wasn't a conversation that they were having with me. And so, I didn't think it was a conversation I was going to have with them.   And so, that meant that as I found myself further and further away from my values, I felt like, who am I going to share this with? And so, part of having the conversation is it normalizes with our kids that this is OK to talk about, which is actually what adults need. I mean, part of our work with couples as adults, we have to get them talking about sex and body parts.   I mean, it's amazing to have 30, 40, and 50-year-olds in our offices and in our sessions. And they're so uncomfortable. Right.   They don't want to talk about sex. They don't want to talk about their bodies. They don't want to talk about what their bodies do.   Right. And we keep being like, this is God's good stuff. Right.   There is goodness here. But you have to begin by talking about it. Right.   Having these conversations.   Joanna Raabsmith: (36:38 - 37:54) I tell all the parents I work with, your kids are going to pick up a narrative about what sex is and what sexuality is, whether you want them to or not. And so, would you rather be the first person to step in and give them a healthy view, a healthy narrative to understand? Right.   And this is beyond kind of the nuts and bolts that everything our kids are learning. They're trying to find a deeper meaning. They don't think it's unconscious when they're young. Right. But they're taking it and they're going, what meaning does this have for me? How does this inform my self-worth, my view of my own value as a human in my body?   And how does it inform my experience of the world and my safety in the world? And am I empowered to make decisions? Am I connected?   Do I belong? Right. All of those questions are asking.   And so, as they're confronted with issues of sexuality, it's going to inform those things. And the world will not give them a healthy narrative about it. Right.   And so, being able as a parent to step in and give them that healthy meaning, that narrative, that understanding of their worth and their safety as they're piecing together kind of sexuality, again, at that age-appropriate level is so important.   Laura Dugger: (37:54 - 38:30) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well.   If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com. And I love that you're talking about this with couples you work with.   So, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid that you actually wrote a book about and you teach to couples?   Joanna Raabsmith: (38:30 - 38:31) Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (38:31 - 39:15) Yeah. I mean, it was born out of our journey because, as you said, we wandered for a while and we felt a little bit like Israel, just kind of, you know, knowing that the Promised Land was out there, but never really feeling like we could find it. And when we started to piece together, I think the kind of relationship that we had dreamed of reclaiming, we really ask ourselves, how can we make this a more direct, a simpler process, not just for couples who went through what we went through, but really for any couple who's hungry for this, for the couple like us when we were first starting.   It really wants an amazing marriage. And so, we really focused on a kind of simplistic idea of what are the core kind of foundational levels of building really healthy intimacy.   Joanna Raabsmith: (39:16 - 40:10) Yeah. So, the intimacy pyramid, it's actually a triangle. There's a visual that goes along with it.   So, if you imagine the different levels of the triangle, very similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting at the bottom, you have to start with honesty. And so, we definitely experienced that reality in our own relationship. Right.   This is something we learned from Couples in Betrayal, but like Matthew said, we realized this is where every couple starts. Am I willing to be fully open, fully honest and transparent in this relationship? Am I being my authentic self?   Right. And after that level of honesty, that's when we start to build safety. And that has to do with our ability to communicate in really healthy, constructive ways.   Even when it's hard, even when we're disagreeing, even when we feel like yelling at each other. Are we able to show up with that belief that we both have the same goal? We're trying to build something together.   Matthew Raabsmith: (40:10 - 41:57) And with honesty and safety, that's where we get to work on trust as a couple. That's that next level. And trust is where we start to be more partners, where we're really starting to kind of lean in, work together, kind of be courageous and saying, “Hey, this isn't just my life anymore, right?”   This is our life together. And as that trust is established, this is what allows for the incredible work of vulnerability. And there's been all these studies about vulnerability over the last few years and how important it is.   What we recognize, though, is vulnerability on top of nothing is actually really risky and kind of even dangerous. It's vulnerability that's built on healthy trust where we step in and we do share some of those deeper pains in those wounds, those fears. We start to really heal some of those kind of early traumas that we experience.   It's in that vulnerability. That's what allows a couple to be truly intimate. And it's when they've worked through each of these levels, what we find is these couples, when they reach this kind of this intimacy level, they're passionate about who they are as a couple. They love kind of their relationship itself. They have a purpose to it. They have a sense that like our marriage, our relationship exists for a reason, but they're also really playful.   They're silly. They're really kind of comfortable in their own skin. And it's those five levels really working together that allows them to experience a relationship that gives life. I think one of the things we know is that when God creates, it gives life. And so, God created marriage not to burden us, right? Not to kind of, you know, not even just to get us through, you know, kind of surviving life, but actually to bring more life.   Right. And not just life within the relationship itself, but life outside of it.   Laura Dugger: (41:58 - 42:22) Oh, I love it. And you're also working with couples. I've heard you speak before about the working on offering your spouse the gift of self-awareness. And so, what could couples expect? How do you actually work with them to grow in self-awareness and recognize things like the emotional process they go through in marriage?   Joanna Raabsmith: (42:22 - 43:48) Absolutely. So, awareness. So, in our book, we obviously detail the intimacy period much more.   And that's Building True Intimacy is the name of the book. But each of those levels we just walked through have different components that go into that. And awareness is kind of like one of the most important components of that honesty foundation.   So, we have to start with awareness and we can't really build anything if there's a lack of self-awareness. And so, when we work with couples, one of the first places we start is we kind of look at the past. Are they aware of what they've been through, what those experiences are, and how those experiences have shaped them into the person that is now in the present, showing up with their spouse.   Right. And so, once I start to have that insight from my past, from those experiences, how they shape me, I can better understand my present. What are the things that I feel and why do I feel those things in particular?   Right. And then when I feel those things in a relationship, and these are typically those kind of heavier, more challenging, more painful emotions. How do I respond?   How am I showing up? Because the reality is that all of us cope with emotional pain the same way we cope with physical pain. We go into fight or flight.   That part of our brain gets triggered and we respond with these kind of destructive relational coping behaviors that then hurt my partner.   Matthew Raabsmith: (43:48 - 46:22) Yeah. Like, for example, I told you about that chaos I experienced as a kid. And so, those would always happen around conflicts.   My parents would disagree about something. There would be some type of argument about, you know, and it could be anything where we were going for dinner or what color the curtains were. Right.   But it would create this chaotic environment. So, as I got married, the thing that I didn't like the least was any type of conflict. Joanna and I would get in when I could sense us disagreeing and we are both passionate.   We have opinions and we believe things and we get into this kind of disagreement and argument. It would freak my system out. And I didn't realize that because I didn't really know my past.   I didn't know what was going on. I would just really do anything to shut it down. I get angry and I try to get loud, or I just walk away in the middle of a conversation.   As Joanna was talking, I would just leave the room and my acting out was just a further manifestation of that kind of leaving the relationship. And so, part of my healing journey was to learn about my story and recognize, oh, OK, I can see what's happening. And what's really interesting is it still happens in our life today.   I've been in recovery for 12 years. I still feel the same things. Now it's more like when my kids are getting involved.   Right. And there's energy in the room and people are online. And then I go, oh, yeah, there it is.   There's my system again. It's starting to feel unsafe. It's starting to feel alone. And I know what it wants to do. It wants to get angry, or it wants to just shut down and walk away. And what's incredible is that we've learned the ability to see where we're at but also speak directly to that.   And so, what I get to do for myself now is I get to go, “OK, I know I'm feeling unsafe and I know I'm feeling alone. And I know I want to get angry to solve it, but it won't do it. But here's the truth. The truth is that I'm safe in God's economy. I'm empowered. I have an incredible partner in my life. I've never been alone. I've always had someone there for me. And Joanna is the perfect example of that.”   And that totally changes my sense of really kind of where I am. And it changes how I show up. I tend to be much more calm.   I ask questions rather than make demands. And it's that ability to kind of see where we're at and shift. That's just been such a game changer for our family and just for our own relationship.   We still have to work on it. You know, it doesn't always look that pretty. Right.   But when we do, it's amazing how different it goes.   Laura Dugger: (46:24 - 46:44) And then I just think of the generational impacts that has when people are willing to do the work. And so, if there's a brave couple out there who wants to seek their own help and healing, can you share where they can go for help, including the Raabsmith team and all that you have to offer?   Matthew Raabsmith: (46:46 - 47:30) Yeah, you know, we would love them to connect with us because I think one of the things we recognize was having guides along the way. I mean, we had to figure a lot out ourselves, but we also had some really incredible guides, some mentors, some coaches, some therapists. And so, we always just say, hey, connect with us.   You can find us at raabsmithteam.com. We have a heart for couples who want restoration and reconciliation because that's what we're getting to live and experience. And what's cool is our whole team, they're couples who've been through this work, but who also have been professionally trained to help other couples to just continue to guide and to grow relationships so that they're thriving and they're kind of giving that life.   Joanna Raabsmith: (47:30 - 48:10) Absolutely. We also love to give out resources. And so, we have the kind of we call it the honest connection.   And so, again, if you're starting this journey or even this is for any couple who wants deeper connection, deeper intimacy, learning how to do that on a daily basis in small ways is so important. And so, we have a worksheet that couples can take and use. We're happy to provide that for them for free and kind of try this for 30 days and notice the changes that you experience in your relationship.   And so, that's a great starting point wherever you are in relationship to begin that journey of connection.   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:10 - 48:14) And you just go to raabsmithteam.com/free and that resource is all yours.   Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:26) Wonderful. Add links for that in the show notes for today's episode. And is this then for any couple worldwide, nationwide?   Can you work with people?   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:27 - 48:55) We have we've got couples across the world, which is really fun. It's been really neat just to see the way that God has used our work. One of the things when we first started this journey, we started getting couples calling us saying, “Hey, I don't have anybody in my area that specializes in this, that understands this journey. Can I work with you?” And so, we kind of felt a calling to say we want to make sure that we connect with people wherever they are. And so, absolutely.   If you can hear our voice, you can work with us.   Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:14) I love that. And just as a little bonus practical tip, you kind of mentioned being proactive to thriving in marriage. Is there any encouragement that you could share or a specific practical tip that anybody could start to incorporate if they want to take their marriage to that thriving level?   Matthew Raabsmith: (49:15 - 50:12) Yeah, I think just the ability to slow down. We have a  nine, seven and six-year-old. We own our own business, and we like life and life can get incredibly fast.   And I think what we have found is when, as I was mentioning, when I learned the ability just to slow down, even if I don't fully just know myself slowing down and checking in, just where am I at right now? Where's my heart? Right. Where do I want to be?   I think I realize that so often my values and my actions aren't aligned when I'm moving too quickly. I'm not being the person that I want to be. And we see that in so many couples. We meet so many couples and there are two really great people who have a hard time working together. They have a hard time kind of being a team.   And it's usually because they're working so fast. They don't realize they're kind of working against each other. So, slowing down, I think, is such a big thing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (50:12 - 51:18) Another piece that's, again, really easy to start right away. A lot of couples we work with, and I think probably even us when we start a relationship, was there were two individuals in a relationship, and it was kind of either me or you. And starting to understand there's this third thing between you, the relationship. There's a third almost entity that really needs care. It needs nurture. It needs you to focus on its needs from time to time.   And so, beginning to approach the day, even approach conversations with this question of like, what does our relationship need right now? And even as you're trying to make decisions, what is the way we can decide this in a way that's good for our relationship or what decision benefits our relationship rather than does it benefit you or me? Because when you get into that struggle, it can become a competition.   It can become transactional really quickly. So, starting to ask that question, starting to talk about the needs and caring for the relationship very intentionally can be a way to shift that.   Laura Dugger: (51:20 - 51:38) Thank you for sharing that. I think that leads into my last question, because you already know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, Matthew and Joanna, what is your savvy sauce?   Matthew Raabsmith: (51:39 - 52:22) I kind of mentioned this, but I think it's the willingness to be honest. I was so willing to lie to myself and kind of really hide from other people. And I didn't even know that I was doing it.   But as I have learned to be more honest in really kind of healthy ways, right. You can dump, you can whine, you can complain, you can get angry. But truly being honest meant just looking at what I was feeling and trying to kind of figure that out and name that.   As I have learned that ability to be honest with myself and with others, it has just opened up a new world of possibilities. And it has shown me how many people care for me; how much God cares for me. So, I think that honesty is something I just want to practice more and more every day.   Joanna Raabsmith: (52:22 - 53:30) I think for me, just in my own journey and working with so many partners, that importance of being able to make empowered decisions in my life. Right. That I am really intentionally choosing the direction I'm going in life.   Realizing that instead of going into this more helpless, powerless victim stance is such a difference. And really the only thing that changes a lot of times is mindset. You don't have to overhaul your entire life.   Right. You have to add in like four hours of self-care and all of these things. But starting to shift that mindset into, wait, I have power in the decisions I make.   And one of the ways that's really important to do that is growing that self-awareness. I cannot make empowered decisions if I'm not aware of where I'm at emotionally, physically, spiritually. Right.   If I'm not aware of my needs on a regular basis. And so, slowing down to check those things in, sometimes even multiple times in the day if you're not used to that. So, you're more connected to yourself, to what you need, what you want.   So, you can start making those empowered decisions.   Laura Dugger: (53:32 - 54:00) I love that. It's just so enjoyable to host a very lively couple who's humble and you've done your work. And then you're willing to share all this overflow of goodness with all of us.   So, I think my prayer is that the Lord would richly bless you for this open-handed generosity of wisdom and your story and experience that you've shared with us and modeled for us today. So, thank you to both of you for being my guest.   Joanna Raabsmith: (54:00 - 54:03) Thank you so much. It's a joy being here.   Laura Dugger: (54:05 - 57:47) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Welcome to Glenn Robison's Rapidly Rotating Records, bringing you vintage music to which you can't not tap your toes, from rapidly rotating 78 RPM records of the 1920s and '30s. Do you know who this fellow is? He’s a young Jimmie Revard, member of the Osage Nation and his is one of five birthdays we’ll be celebrating on this week’s “all-birthday” edition of Rapidly Rotating Records. I’m guess this photograph was taken before Jimmie put together his first western swing band while a student at St. Mary’s University in San Antonio, Texas. You’ll find out more about Jimmie and hear three of his recordings in the second segment of the show. The other birthday segments this week are for Rosa Henderson, Percy Chandler, Ray Herbeck and George Wilton Ballard. There's lots of great music and interesting information so set aside an hour with your favorite beverage and prepare to be transported back to a different–and we think better–musical era. Just click the link above to listen streaming online and/or download for listening at your convenience. THANKS FOR LISTENING! ENJOY THE SHOW! Here’s the complete playlist: Segment 1: Rosa Henderson Hey Hey And He He, I’m Charleston Crazy – Rosa HendersonPapa If You Can’t Do Better (I’ll Let A Better Papa Move In) – Gladys White (Rosa Henderson)Barbadoes – Rosa Henderson Segment 2: Jimmie Revard Naughty Naughty – Jimmie Revard and His Oklahoma Playboys / Cotton Cooper, v.I’m Waiting Mabel – Jimmie Revard and His Oklahoma Playboys / Joe Malloy, v. Playboy’s Breakdown – Jimmie Revard and His Oklahoma Playboys Segment 3: Percy Chandler Good Friends – Alberta Dance Orchestra (Percy Chandler) / Harry Bentley, v.Darling (I’m Longing To Greet You – Percy Chandler and His Band / Harry Bentley, v.Close Your Eyes – White Star Syncopators (Percy Chandler) Segment 4: Ray Herbeck Here Comes The Night – Ray Herbeck and His Music With Romance / Kirby Brooks, v.Trade Winds – Ray Herbeck and His Music With Romance / Ray Olson & The Three Beaux, v.Romance – Ray Herbeck and His MMusic With Romance / Kirby Brooks, v. Segment 5: George Wilton Ballard I’ll Keep On Dreaming (Until My Dreams All Come True) – The Merry Sparklers / George Wilton Ballard, v.Just One Day – George Wilton BallardMorning (Won’t You Ever Come ‘Round) – Kaplan’s Melodists / George Wilton Ballard, v. The post An “All Birthday” Edition of RRR # 1,324 Nov. 30, 2025 appeared first on Glenn Robison's Rapidly Rotating 78 RPM Records.

Burnie and Ashley discuss Black Friday, the best holiday ever, Howard Stern's cancellation, snacking, getting ready for Playboy, not being able to respond to heat, media mergers, and the future we could all be living in.

Paris Chong welcomes back renowned photographer Jeff Dunas, who dives into the photographic books he produced during the COVID-19 pandemic, primarily from his archive. These projects include a small, limited-edition book with publisher Nazraeli called *Highway 61 to Honeyboy*, a Renaissance garden book, and a collection of his American pictures. He discusses the changing landscape of photo book publishing, particularly the unique crowd-sourced model used by Michelle from Minor Matters, who also designed his earlier book, *State of the Blues*. Dunas also reflects on his early career, including his widely known nude photography for Playboy while in his late teens.  Dunas shares his deep connection to Leica cameras, which he has used since the early eighties, noting he still owns an M3 and M7. He highlights his attachment to the M9 Monochrome, calling it "perfect" for black and white work—like shooting an M6 with Tri-X film. He contrasts the slow, deliberate process of shooting with film (the psychological importance of a 36-picture limit) and the mastery of the darkroom with the current, faster pace of digital photography. He likens his new hobby of making sourdough bread to the focused, scientific process of working in a darkroom.The conversation also covers the Palm Springs Photo Festival, which Dunas co-founded and ran for 17 years. He proudly defines its portfolio reviews not as critique sessions, but as a crucial "job fair," connecting emerging photographers with industry people who could hire, publish, or exhibit their work. While the festival itself is currently on hold due to the high costs of maintaining its high-quality faculty, the reviews continue online. Finally, Jeff discusses his successful "Palm Springs Photo Festival podcast," which he started in 2020 to maintain a sense of community during the pandemic. You can find Jeff Dunas's work on his website, dunes.com.Show Notes:www.theparischongshow.com/episodes/jeff-dunas-passion-projects-publishing-art-books-palm-springs-photo-festival-leicaChapters:(00:00:00) Intro(00:00:51) Jeff Dunas(00:01:19) A Few New Books(00:05:07) Paris's First Art Book(00:08:28) Famous For Nudes(00:11:25) Super Rare Books(00:15:26) Palm Springs Photo Festival(00:18:48) Marker 12(00:22:45) Leica Store(00:25:24) Other Hobbies(00:32:25) Didn't Know You Had A Daughter(00:36:26) Landscape - Palisades Fire Talk(00:39:04) What's Next?(00:46:33) Outro

ONE HOT FEST – BIFF is a special mini-series from One Heat Minute Productions. Host Blake Howard takes you inside the Brisbane International Film Festival — from filmmaker interviews and festival dispatches to reviews and discussions with guests and critics — relaying the energy, stories, and chaos that, in its heyday, made it one of Australia's unmissable film events.Synopsis:In 1977, a technology expert flees from a mysterious past and returns to his hometown of Recife in search of peace. He soon realises that the city is far from being the refuge he seeks.Katie Walsh is a Los Angeles-based film critic, journalist, podcast host, and moderator. She reviews weekly film releases for the Tribune News Service, and the Los Angeles Times, and is a frequent guest host of the Maximum Fun podcast Switchblade Sisters. Her writing has been published in Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone, Playboy,The Playlist, Nerdist,Slate, The Hairpin, indieWIRE, Women and Hollywood, Town & Country, Movieline, CAP the Magazine, and Nonfics, and she frequently contributes film reviews to KCRW's Press Play with Madeline Brand. She has covered many international film festivals as a critic and reporter, and has moderated dozens of Q&As with filmmakers and actors around LA.Check out Rotten Tomatoes for links to recent reviews.One Heat Minute ProductionsWEBSITE: oneheatminute.comTWITTER: @OneBlakeMinute & @OHMPodsMERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/en-au/stores/one-heat-minute-productionsSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/one-heat-minute-productions/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Latka has had it with being the meek, child-like person that everyone patronizes.  Through an intense course of psychological re-training, Latka emerges with an entirely new personality.  But not everyone is a fan, and Latka risks losing himself in the process.  Will Latka lose his friends in the bargain?  Can Latka ever come back the way he was?  And when did Perrier and other sparkling beverages become a thing?  Join HP and Father Malone as they discuss the season 3 finale, episode 19, "Latka The Playboy".Father Malone: FatherMalone.comHP: hpmusicplace.bandcamp.comemail: hpmusicplace@gmail.com

Character-driven fiction, multi-perspective narrative, and historical fiction await in this episode of the True Fiction Project! I'm Reenita Hora, your host, sitting down with award-winning journalist and novelist Marshall Fine. We'll explore his new novel Hemlock Lane, releasing today, November 25, 2025! It's a women's fiction masterpiece told through a multi-perspective narrative over four days. Marshall shares his creative writing process, narrative structure techniques, and how film criticism and writing shaped his character development approach. Set in 1967, this book club fiction tackles second-wave feminism through family drama. Finally, Marshall reads an excerpt from Hemlock Lane which follows Nora Levitsky, a young woman on a quiet drive through upstate New York in the summer of 1967, at a roadside stop and with a handwritten note from her boyfriend which stirs unexpected emotions and the realization that she may be ready to imagine a future she once swore she'd never want.What You'll Learn in This Episode: ✅ How to structure character-driven fiction using a multi-perspective narrative approach that reveals secrets gradually over four days✅ Narrative structure techniques for writing historical fiction set in 1960s America while making themes resonate with contemporary readers✅ How film criticism and writing, biography writing, and documentary filmmaking experience can enhance your creative writing process and character development skills✅ Methods for crafting compelling women's fiction and book club fiction that explores second-wave feminism and family dynamics through literary character study✅ Hemlock Lane is releasing on November 25th and is available for pre-order here: https://www.amazon.com/Hemlock-Lane-Novel-Marshall-Fine-ebook/dp/B0F1Z37XX6Subscribe to Reenita's Storytelling Den on Substack for free at https://substack.com/@reenitahora and to her YouTube channel to watch the video version of this episode! https://www.youtube.com/@reenymalCheck out her website to stay up-to-date on events, book releases and more! https://reenita.com/TIMESTAMPS:  00:00 Introduction to Marshall Fine's character-driven fiction novel Hemlock Lane and his background in film criticism and writing, biography writing, and documentary filmmaking01:49 Marshall's restless creativity philosophy and his approach to the creative writing process while working on multi-perspective narrative projects08:33 Discussion of Hemlock Lane's narrative structure: four days told from different character perspectives, classified as women's fiction and book club fiction11:06 Exploring the character development of domineering mother and daughter dynamics in historical fiction writing set in 1967 with second-wave feminism themes16:59 Marshall reads an excerpt from Hemlock Lane, introducing Nora Levitsky, demonstrating literary character study and flashback narrative techniques in contemporary fictionKEY TAKEAWAYS: 

 On this episode of Bulture podcast:Do you still cook big meals this week b4 thanksgivingBruh these Lil Wayne Alexa commercials are hilariousSummer Walker “Go Girl” is going be the song of the holiday especially Friendsgiving recap post Summer Walker responds to leaked audio of her and Rich the Kid Rich telling him to Save Her Number as “Pizza Hut” so they can cheat in peace Doubles Down Online. Future's brother FBG Casino was one of two arrested by the Feds. The task force seized 21 kilograms of fentanyl and $380,000 from the residence. Ksoo's dad sentenced to time served, two years of community control with electronic monitoring and three years of probation. He was facing a maximum of 20 years in prison. Are you wearing your Quarter-Zip to Thanksgiving dinner? Gen Z men are now ditching Nike Techs and replacing them with quarter-zips Woman goes off on YNs for leaving the Nike Tech suits and Shiesty masks for the quarter-zip trend. Megan Thee Stallion reportedly turned down an opportunity to collab with Activision/Call of Duty after finding out she would be made into a shootable in-game character: Joe Budden's DISGUSTING “Joke” About Megan Thee Stallion and Call of Duty Attorney for ex-Temple basketball player responds after NCAA says athlete bet against his own team Hysier Miller allegedly placed 42 bets totaling $473, but NCAA found no evidence of point-shaving SleazyWorld Go speaks after he was jumped in front of his baby at the mall Bia and Wale both have albums we may got just keep reminding us how good they were in a few months!!-Costco's New Lobster Mac and Cheese Might Be the Most Talked-About Dish on The Thanksgiving Table K. Dot moved Drake out of the way for Wale to get what he deserves in hip-hop. Boosie says any man who claims he's never had trouble getting an erection before intercourse is absolutely lying Glamorous WNBA star Kysre Gondrezick leaves little to the imagination as she makes history with racy Playboy photoshoot One of the kids who attacked a sick, pregnant woman in Chicago and her two children walking home from school apologized after being caught and identified. Mother of teen goes viral after defending daughter online – cursing at commenters and blaming “peer pressure” Three Memphis men are facing multiple felony charges after they allegedly kidnapped a 17-year-old boy at gunpoint and forced him to strip nude and twerk on Facebook Live -30 for 30 ‘Boo-Yah: A Portrait of Stuart Scott', chronicles the trailblazing ESPN anchor who broke barriers, brought hip-hop culture to SportsCenter and inspired millions through his career and courageous battle with cancer. Premieres December 10 at 9PM ET on ESPN Max B's Wife, Whom He Met & Married While Behind Bars, Says Ex-Boyfriend Introduced Her to Rapper's Music Usher is suing longtime producer Bryan-Michael Cox, two other associates, and their attorney after loaning them $1.7 million for a Buckhead restaurant that never opened Nicki Minaj to speak as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, Mike Waltz, hosts an event to address violence in Nigeria Stephen A Smith responds to the reports about him no longer being on NBA Countdown D4vd is Now Reportedly Being Viewed as Suspect by Investigators in Celeste Rivas' Apparent Homicide Ebro & Eddie Francis discuss the impact of Kendrick Lamar's "GNX" as the one-year anniversary of the album approaches. Ebro debating lowkey after he says he can't put Kendrick Lamar GNX as a classic album yet because of the longevity it's only been a yearNew Orleans University Basketball player admits to shaving points “purposely missing shots to win $5K per game” Ja'Marr Chase's one-game suspension will cost him $448,333 for spitting in Jalen Ramsey's face.

In this episode of What Are You Made Of?, Mike “C-Roc” welcomes veteran reporter, podcaster, and cultural firestarter Taylor Ferber, famously dubbed “The Celebrity Whisperer” by Playboy. Known for her unapologetic voice, raw interviews, and ability to get A-listers to say the quiet part out loud, Taylor opens up about the grit, vision, and unfiltered authenticity that shaped her career. From recording faux–Ryan Seacrest interviews in her basement at age 12 to crashing red carpets with a VH1 mic flag she pulled from a janitor's closet, Taylor shares how scrappiness, boldness, and relentless belief carried her into conversations with icons like Oprah, Lady Gaga, Danny DeVito, Tucker Carlson, Dave Portnoy, and Hollywood's biggest power players. Taylor and Mike "C-Roc" dive into the discipline behind her craft, breaking out of the boxes society expects—politically, creatively, and personally—and how choosing purpose over partying paved the way for her evolution. Packed with stories from her VH1 days to disrupting Hollywood media with her own platform, Talk To Me, Taylor, this episode is a high-energy, unfiltered look at what it really takes to build a career on your own terms and become a force people can't ignore.https://www.instagram.com/talktometaylor/

Do you remember when Marge was a Playboy cover girl? It happened! And so did this episode, where she posed for a sexy calendar and got extra horny, unfortunately Homer's new job as Carl's assistant (who was promoted to supervisor), means he's unable to act on it. It then ends up with Marge considering sleeping with Flanders...yeah.A lot of relatability here but also a lot that just felt unfinished or unnecessary. We also discuss sex games, kids complaining over nothing, our thoughts on Mountain Dew and more.If you enjoy this review, please consider supporting us on Patreon for as little as $1 per month at patreon.com/fourfingerdiscountListen on Spotify - spoti.fi/4fDcSY0Listen on Apple Podcasts - apple.co/4dgpW3ZCHECK OUT OUR OTHER PODCASTS:Goin' Down To South Park - spreaker.com/show/goin-down-to-south-parkThe Movie Guide with Maltin & Davis - themovieguidepodcast.comThe One About Friends - spreaker.com/show/the-one-about-friends-podcastTalking Seinfeld - spreaker.com/show/talking-seinfeldSpeaKing Of The Hill - spreaker.com/show/speaking-of-the-hill-a-king-of-the-hill-The Office Talk - spreaker.com/show/the-office-talk-podcastBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/four-finger-discount-simpsons-podcast--5828977/support.

Hard to keep a lawn down at the moment.PLENTY happening as per usual. Updates on some ripper content and our plan to catch up with some legends in Melbourne for the Supercross. The Great Debate of Whippersnipping VS Poisoning is discussed before we rip in to the usual segments, Trip Advisor reviews are prime during Pub Of The Week. Are Elons robots on the rise? We discuss during the news, as well as recapping UFC 322. An absolute gold mine during Pep & Poo's Dump Finds For You before bringing it home with a Playboy edition during Poo's Reviews. Enjoy the rest of your week trendsetters, stay outta yaself!The ABW Bucking Bull Of The Year Shirt Pre-Sale begins Saturday, 6PM and runs until Friday, the 28th: alphablokes.com.auEver wanted to watch the Podcast? Check out full visual, uncut and ad-free versions on our Patreon. Only $5 a week plus access to all of our exclusive vlogs. The Four Part Darwin series begins this Sunday: patreon.com/alphablokespodcastBetter Beer: Jog in a can, win in a tin, the athletes choice: https://www.betterbeer.com.au/Neds: Whatever you bet on, take it to the neds level: https://www.neds.com.au/SP Tools: Schmicker tools for an even schmicker price, use code "ALPHA" at checkout for 10% off and check out their brand new catalogue: sptools.comIf you want to keep up to date with what we're up to, the best way is to follow us on the socials down below:PODCAST INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/alphablokespodcast/PODCAST TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@alphablokespodcastPODCAST FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/alphablokespodcast/Follow the boys on Instagram to check out their solo content too:Tommy: https://www.instagram.com/tomdahl_/Bandit: https://www.instagram.com/_thepoobandit_/0:00 - Admin + Updates8:00 - ABW Shirt Presale10:30 - Alpha Stable15:00 - Weekends41:25 - Pub Of The Week46:59 - Cooking / Eating55:27 - Alpha News1:26:22 - Motivation1:38:23 - Pep & Poo's Dump Finds For You1:45:14 - Poo's Reviews Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do we always fight most with the people we have the most in common with?Topics in this episode include James Joyce's fraught relationship with playwright John Millington Synge, the way Synge shows up in Ulysses, in-jokes about Yeats that made it into Ulysses, Synge's artistic work and why Joyce took issue with it, Synge's connection to the Aran Islands, Synge's eccentricities, pampooties, Joyce and Synge in Paris, Oisín and Patrick, Joyce and Synge as the personification of the duality found in “Scylla and Charybdis,” why Synge is not like Aristotle, why Joyce is bourgeois, Joyce's Italian translation of Riders to the Sea, riots in response to The Playboy of the Western World, and Joyce's ultimate appreciation of Synge's work.Support us on Patreon to get episodes early, and to access bonus content and a video version of our podcast.On the Blog:The Chap that Writes like SyngeBlooms & Barnacles Social Media:Facebook | BlueSky | InstagramSubscribe to Blooms & Barnacles:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube

A Playboy brasileira esteve no centro de debates sobre fama, desejo, moral, mercado editorial e transformação social. Em “Estrelas da Capa: As Histórias da Playboy”, os jornalistas Adriana Negreiros e Juca Kfouri resgatam memórias dos cinquenta anos desde que a revista foi lançada para entender o que ela dizia – e ainda diz – sobre o Brasil. A série mergulha nos bastidores da redação, nas negociações com as modelos de capa, no jornalismo ousado e nos códigos culturais que moldaram a publicação. Com depoimentos inéditos de editores e produtores, fotógrafos renomados como J.R. Duran e Bob Wolfenson, e entrevistas com as próprias estrelas — como Adriane Galisteu, Maitê Proença e Claudia Raia —, a série reconstrói a trajetória da revista e dá a resposta à questão acerca de como a Playboy, mesmo tendo sido encerrada em 2017, continua a moldar o imaginário brasileiro no que diz respeito à fama, desejo, poder e mídia. Estreia dia 24 de novembro no Spotify e em todas as plataformas do UOL.

With Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump in the news together last week and for sure this week, we thought we'd look back at the interview Bill did with Michael Wolff, a confidant of Jeffrey Epstein and an author with several books about Donald Trump. There is a lot that Michael Wolff revealed in this interview from four months ago. Might be fun to take a listen again knowing what you know now. And if your friends haven't heard it recommend that they do. So…in this episode of the Bill Press Pod, Bill Press reconnects with veteran journalist Michael Wolff to discuss the relationship between Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. Wolff reveals intimate details about their close friendship from the late 80s through the early 2000s, their mutual interests in women and real estate, and their eventual fallout over a Palm Beach property deal. Wolff also discusses Trump's efforts to downplay their relationship, Epstein's later belief that Trump contributed to his legal troubles, and the reluctance of mainstream media to delve into this story. Wolff shares his personal interactions with Epstein, insights from his 100 hours of taped interviews, and untapped explosive content related to Trump. The conversation also touches on Trump's first term in office, comparing it to his current administration, and concludes with Wolff's views on Trump's current challenges and potential impact on his political future. Michael Wolff's latest book is All or Nothing: How Trump Recaptured America. You can see his other books here. And Michael Wolff is active on Instagram. instagram.com/michaelwolffnyc. As the holiday season is upon us, Bill suggests a Carol Press Scarf as a great gift. Hand-made, each is a work of art in Rayon Chenille or Bamboo. Take a look at CarolPressScarves.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The next Bob's Movie Club assignment is here, and we're watching ‘Planes, Trains, and Automobiles' with Steve Martin and John Candy. Sarah's addicted to a new show ‘Day of the Jackal' and Bob can't wait to check it out. Plus, Johnny Knoxville is rebooting ‘Fear Factor' - should Matty try to be cast? The longest government shutdown in history is over just in time for the last penny ever. An iPhone sock? For how much? And, is Vinnie's daughter too young for her first purse? What even is a trillion dollars? Soon you'll be able to ask Elon Musk. In the meantime, here's all the things you could buy with a million millions. Netflix House is trying to reinvent how we engage with our favorite TV shows. A long way to go, and a short time to get there. Ay ay aron, am I saying your name right? Being a substitute teacher is hard enough, especially if Vinnie was in the class. Death is not an option: No deodorant or a stained shirt. Taylor Swift's Eras Tour Docuseries has a new trailer and premiers in a month. The Golden Bachelor has chosen his lady. Amy Schumer deletes all of her old posts introducing her new body - let's discuss. Matty tells the gang about his vintage Playboy, California dominates the list of most dangerous highways, and a woman almost misses her own proposal. Why won't men listen?! Spotify is introducing music videos. The way we are watching is continuing to evolve. Pop stars in movies! Sabrina Carpenter will take on Alison Wonderland, and Adele is working on a movie directed by Tom Ford. How about one sweet treat per day. Pixar really nailed seagulls - here's how to keep your food safe. Plus, test your knowledge with a game about engagement rings.

Death is not an option: No deodorant or a stained shirt. Taylor Swift's Eras Tour Docuseries has a new trailer and premiers in a month. The Golden Bachelor has chosen his lady. Amy Schumer deletes all of her old posts introducing her new body - let's discuss. Matty tells the gang about his vintage Playboy, California dominates the list of most dangerous highways, and a woman almost misses her own proposal. Why won't men listen?!

Kysre Gondrezick joins Angela Yee, Jordyn, and Jasmine Brand on Lip Service to talk about making history as the first active WNBA player to pose for Playboy. She opens up about embracing womanhood, setting boundaries in her shoot, and reclaiming confidence after loss. Kai reflects on love, healing, and what she’s learned from public relationships, plus why she’s now dating with intention. The group dives into balancing femininity and athleticism, redefining beauty, and navigating modern dating with self-awareness and purpose.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.