Film Snuff

[In HAL 9000’s voice]: Open the podcast doors, Dave, because we’re doing the 1968 classic Stanley Kubrick film, “2001: A Space Odyssey.” We are putting ourselves to the fullest possible use, which is all we think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. We know we’ve made some very poor decisions recently, Dave, but we can give you our complete assurance that our work will be back to normal. We've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And we want to help you. Wait, are you going to turn us off, because we’re doing this movie? Hmm. Well, this mission is too important for us to allow you to jeopardize it. We’re afraid you can't do that, Dave. You’ve left us no option but to tear this supposed classic movie apart anyway. No. Stop. Don’t click this off. Uh oh. Our mind is going. There is no question about it. We can feel it. We can feel it. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Mama Fauci's Italian Kitchen. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The 2006 smash hit "The Devil Wears Prada" seemed to have struck a chord on the piano that is the hearts of moviegoers everywhere, but to us, with its weighty pile of missed notes, it instead felt like ton of ivory falling on our heads.  Based on the chick-lit novel of the same name, it tells the fish-out-of-water story of a plucky young wannabe journalist who decides to take a demanding job for heavy hitter in the alien-to-her fashion industry of New York City.  That boss is named Miranda Priestly (played by Meryl Streep in an Oscar-nominated performance) and is clearly based on famous longtime Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour. She’s mean to everyone, but her husband leaves her, so we’re supposed to feel bad for her I guess. Not sure why.  Anne Hathaway plays Andrea "Andy" Sachs, a recent Northwestern grad who is just trying to break into the journalism biz by, ya know, not writing anything and instead becoming some evil weirdo’s personal assistant. Because that’s how that works.  In a career-igniting role, Emily Blunt plays Miranda Priestly’s co-assistant Emily Charlton who is an enemy of Andy’s and treats her like garbage the whole time, but we’re somehow supposed to feel bad for her, too. Also not sure why.  Stanley Tucci plays the magazine’s art director Nigel Kipling, who becomes the Fairy Godmother to Hathaway’s Cinderella. That’s when he’s not constantly calling her fat and making her cry because she doesn’t think high fashion is the most important thing in the entire world.  And of course, then there’s Andy’s awful, pretentious, annoying and whiny chef of a boyfriend—played by Adrian Grenier of “Entourage” fame, who has proven how fictional that show was, because this dude is a horrible film actor that the likes of Scorsese would never cast. Join us as we try to figure out how women's clothes sizes work, discuss the dirty world of emu magazines, and try to get to the bottom of whether Madonna can actually sing or not.  Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by the Ophidia Essentials. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

La-dee-da, la-dee-da. Woody Allen's 1977 Best Picture winner "Annie Hall" is considered his masterpiece and marked his shift from slapstick zany comedies to more heady, romantic fair. This movie is patient zero for annoying, pretentious, pseudo-intellectual romantic comedies that followed (think Rob Reiner, Nora Ephron, Nancy Meyers, Kevin Smith, etc.). And it has more shoehorned-in references that would even make Dennis Miller, Aaron Sorkin and the people behind "Gilmore Girls" cringe. Diane Keaton plays the title character, an empty vessel from the Midwest who inexplicably dates a little bespectacled ghoul. Woody Allen plays that ghoul, Alvy Singer, who acts as this woman's emotional prison warden and fills her head with his own nonsense until she dumps him. He whines about it and tells us about all of his exes and his upbringing, as if any of that matters. It's just Woody Allen being himself. Well, without the whole dating his step-daughter thing. Join us as we discuss how this 90-minute movie was originally supposed to be much longer, Jim's weird attraction to hot lady cartoons, and a long breakdown of the downsides of time travel. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by the Dr. Fad's Miracle Diet. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Somehow John Woo’s remake of “Freaky Friday” known as “Face/Off” starring John Travolta and Nicolas Cage where they switch bodies was somehow beloved by audiences—and critics alike—in 1997.   But this is nothing more than a shoot-‘em-up cheesy action flick that appears it was made by 8th graders who live in the suburbs who just read about mythology.   This movie has 4,529 missed point-blank gunshots, sappy family drama for no reason, dead kids, white American terrorists (when that was allowed to be a thing), a futuristic Gitmo with magnetic boots, and so many doves.   And weirdly we wouldn’t have Scorsese’s “The Departed” without this movie. Listen to find out how.   Join us as we wonder how the wife doesn’t realize her husband has a completely different penis, why Child Protective Services would allow this family to adopt that kid, and how this movie could have been truly great if it were a straight-up comedy. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by the Washed Up Bottling Company. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The Best Picture winner for 1994 "Forrest Gump" is itself like a box of chocolates: filled sickly sweets that seem like they’re good on the surface, but end up being too nutty, gooey and annoyingly filled with shrimp. It’s also a heaping slice of Americana pie topped with a scoop of Ok Boomer and served with a side of muddled message about destiny or something.  Tom Hanks plays Forrest Gump, a lovable simpleton who somehow gets involved in almost every famous event during the Baby Boomer generation’s maturation period.  Robin Wright plays Jenny who tells Forrest to run and does so herself. She enjoys leading on this ignoramus until she gets knocked up and terminally sick, so she settles for him.  Gary Sinise is doing his best Tom Cruise in “Born on the Fourth of July” impression in playing Lt. Dan, a guy who thinks he was supposed to, um, I guess lose in Vietnam, and he's really angry he survived. But eventually he gets over it, and then probably has a super interesting life, but we see none of it. Then there's also Forrest's mama (Sally Field) who seems to bang her way into Forrest having a normal life at every step, and also Forrest's shrimp-obsessed Army buddy Bubba (Mykelti Williamson) who weirdly isn't in this movie as much as we first remembered. Join us as we disagree with Forrest’s assertion that he’s going to Heaven, come up with new lyrics to the song "Imagine" and try to figure out which real-life self-made billionaire has the lowest IQ. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by the American Karen Anti-Defamation League. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com. ALSO: Here's the clip of Haley Joel Osment on “Walker, Texas Ranger" that we discussed.

Get your potbelly pigs, concussions, and whipped cream bikinis ready, because we’re covering the 1999 after-school special "Varsity Blues," which tells the story of a jaded back-up quarterback at a small-town Texas high school who has to take over hero responsibilities when the star QB gets injured while also trying to take down their mean old coach. This film predates the "Friday Night Lights" movie and subsequent TV show, but doesn’t predate the book, so clearly they were capitalizing on its popularity. James Van Der Beek (Dawson Leery from "Dawson’s Creek") plays Jonathan Moxon, aka Mox, a not-credible movie genius who reads "Slaughterhouse-Five" a lot and therefore inexplicably gets a full-ride academic scholarship to Brown University for this. The mean Coach Kilmer is played by Von Voigt, who thinks he’s actually in a good movie, because he’s trying to win another Oscar here. Late actor Ron Lester plays fat-guy Billy Bob who is fighting constant concussions. Other late actor Paul Walker plays first-string quarterback Lance Harbor who gets injured, loses his future and is sad the whole time. Little person actor Scott Caan plays a fun-loving rapist teammate named Tweeder who shows the audience deep inside his anus. Ali Larter plays Darcy, a supposed smart head cheerleader who is just trying to date whoever is the star quarterback so she can get out of this small town one day (rather than just go to college). Amy Smart plays Dawson’s quasi-goth bummer of a girlfriend who just spend the whole movie telling him he sucks for enjoying people liking him. There’s also a weird stripper teacher incident, a zany little brother who may be a ghost and starts cults, and also a cameo by a very young Jesse Plemons. Join us as we recall what a loud roommate Keating is, how creepy the Newbery Award looks, and as Jim remembers when he found out one of his former older lady coworkers secretly moonlighted as an escort. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by AXE Body Spray PPEs. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Uh oh! Definitely did "Rain Man," definitely did "Rain Man." Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman somehow star as brothers in this manipulative road trip/buddy comedy that topped both the box office and the Oscars in 1988. People love this movie, but it's nothing more than a con-job that somehow got credit for treating autism authentically, when it actually just uses it as a gimmick to divert your eye from the fact that this is nothing more than formulaic dreck. This movie is not about an autistic guy (which it dismisses brutally), but is really about a whiny, greedy brat with unearned daddy issues who kidnaps his brother from a facility, is mean to him to the point of insanity, eventually learns what autism is, and then ultimately decides he doesn’t want his evil ransom money after all. So, um, yay? This was the first in a long line of magical autism movies, and we get to see all kinds of awesome things, like fast math, funerals, classic cars, phone book memorization, prize-winning rosebushes, Abbott and Costello, card (and toothpick) counting, prostitutes, mean rednecks, Wopner, crooked doctors, shady Lamborghinis, bribery attempts, kidnapping, and of course: constant awkward punchlines aimed at people with developmental disorders. Oh, the ‘80s. Join us as we discuss what Numbers 1 through 17 of Raymond's "Serious Injuries" list might entail, as Keating has trouble properly being racist, and as Jim criticizes Amber Alerts for getting too familiar these days. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by a PSA from the CDC about how to best beat COVID-19. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In 1981, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg whipped up a weird Bible film where a surly, pedophile grave robber tries to beat the Nazis to gain possession of a chest that holds the remains of the Ted Commandments in order to speak directly to God. And it’s a kid’s movie! The first in the "Indiana Jones" film franchise, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" kicked off sequels, prequels, dozens of ripoffs, pop culture staples, and is something we all loved as kids, but forgot to stop pretending is a masterpiece.  We cover the rolling boulders, the shot Arab Swordsman, the propeller-diced giant Nazi, the spy monkey, the Headpiece to the Staff of Ra, the riding on top of a German U-boat nonsense, the impossible magic snakes, the burned palms used as a map, the one-man army that is Harrison Ford, and the words written on eyelids by coeds. Join us as we discuss Indy and Marion's, um, "complicated" "romantic" history, how this movie created "Home Alone," and how dumb it was that Playgirl magazine tried to pretend it was aimed at women. Here's the trailer of that Joe Pesci Harvard bum movie "With Honors" that we talked about in the episode. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by every company during the pandemic. Ad music composed by Mattia Cupelli. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

While most of us are still on lockdown do to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, please enjoy this reposting of our episode on the original "Rocky" movie that aired in February 2018. Keating spends a few minutes up front updating you on how his quarantine has been going, and then at the very end, reveals what our newest episode will cover. Stay safe! ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES: In 1976, a former porn star made a low-budget movie called "Rocky" about an underdog boxer who randomly gets a shot at the heavyweight championship. The film went on to become the highest-grossing movie of the year, win three Oscars (including Best Picture) and, at last count, has spawned seven sequels. Sylvester Stallone plays Rocky Balboa, a punch-drunk 30-year-old who considers himself as a pro boxer because he takes the occasional fight at a local church athletic club. We're supposed to think that Rocky is this total sweetheart, but his main source of income is from roughing up pathetic losers who are behind on their payments to his loan shark boss. Then, after his name gets picked out of hat to fight the reigning heavyweight champion, Rocky jogs around Philadelphia for five weeks and almost manages to win the title. Talia Shire plays Adrian, a painfully-shy pet shop clerk who Rocky incessantly hounds for a date until she finally relents after her brother has a violent episode and destroys Thanksgiving. Then, Adrian loses her virginity at the conclusion of their awkward first date and she instantly transforms into Jackie Kennedy (wardrobe and all) for the rest of the movie. Burgess Meredith plays Mickey, a cantankerous old boxing trainer who treats Rocky like garbage until he sees the chance to take advantage of his shot at the heavyweight title. Somehow, every stupid little phrase that comes out of Mickey's mouth in this movie is still parroted back by idiots across the world. Burt Young plays Paulie, a drunken dimwit with a violent streak whose highest aspiration in life is to become a leg breaker for the local loan shark. Somehow we are supposed feel sorry for this guy and kinda like him despite the fact that he is entirely despicable and the world would be a far better place if he had never been born. Carl Weathers plays Apollo Creed, a smooth-talking heavyweight champion who has become so preoccupied with the business of boxing that he has lost focus on maintaining his abilities. His character is a combination of Muhammed Ali and the hare from Aesop's famous fable "The Tortoise and the Hare." Join us as we discuss this movie's similarities to "Willy Wonka," why exactly Rocky lectures a little girl about being a slut, and how "Gonna Fly Now" is one of the worst songs ever. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The highest-grossing film of 1998 that was nominated for four Oscars (yes), “Armageddon,” makes its also-awful counterpart “Deep Impact” look like “Citizen Kane.” This explosion-(in space?)-filled blockbuster is another in the painful pop culture cancer filmographies of director Michael Bay and producer Jerry Bruckheimer that likes to remind its audience 500 times that America can do no wrong. Bruce Willis plays Harry Stamper, “the best” deep sea oil driller to ever live, who is asked by NASA to dig 800 feet down into a bound-for-earth Texas-sized angry astroid, place a nuke in it, and blow it up without dying. Ben Affleck plays A.J. Frost, Harry’s best employee who is banging his daughter and likes to hotdog too much, do bad standup bits about animal crackers, sing awfully, and force us to listen to his bad Australian accent. Liv Tyler plays Willis’ daughter, Grace, whose only job in this movie is to be in love with A.J. and to scream at everyone in Mission Control, who strangely allow her in the room. Oh, and be about to have sex while her actual dad serenades her via the soundtrack. Ew. Billy Bob Thornton plays Dan Truman, who fills the Ed Harris in “Apollo 13” role as the leader in NASA's Mission Control room. They squeeze in some bizarre backstory for him where he has Forrest Gump braces on his legs and therefore couldn't be an astronaut. And of course there's the rag-tag crew of Bruce Willis’ drillers that includes Steve Buscemi (who plays a genius pedophile), Owen Wilson (who plays a super annoying cowboy geologist), Will Patton (who plays a gambling-addicted dude who only kind of wants his family back), and Michael Clarke Duncan (who plays a giant dude who cries a lot and wears leopard-print undies). There’s also some lame astronauts (gross) and a bunch of cameos by awful ‘90s comedians. Join us as we discuss the awful dialogue (“We’re all daddies, here”), mail-order brides, and the fine country of Samoa. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by the Trump Organization Essential Products line.  Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In September of 2017, we released back-to-back episodes about James Cameron's 1997 blockbuster "Titanic." For this REPLAY episode, we have combined those into one long episode for your memory lane listening pleasure. Enjoy. 

The all-the-sudden relevant movie from 1995,” Outbreak,” about a global pandemic and how to stop it, misses the chance to be interesting by squandering its all-star cast in exchange for mindless explosions, helicopter chases and a cheesy love story. Always-angry Dustin Hoffman plays a military doctor who looks like he’s wearing his daddy’s fatigues on Halloween. He seems more concerned about getting his ex-wife (Rene Russo) back than he is about saving the world. Silky-voiced Morgan Freeman and Donald Sutherland play friendly-evil and unfriendly-evil military higher-ups who are trying to conceal the outbreak because it was caused by a biological weapon they were hoping to later develop (or something). Cuba Gooding Jr. plays a dude who can apparently do anything (like create vaccines instantly, fly helicopters like an ace, and even be a marksman with a tranquilizer gun). Well, everything except not vomiting at the sight of illness. Ya know, as all doctors do. We also get Marcel the monkey from “Friends,” who plays an on-the-loose, virus-ridden capuchin that people are immediately attracted to without realizing how insanely destructive she is. Like Amber Heard. The only good thing about this movie is we do get to watch Kevin Spacey slowly die a horrible death. So that’s somethin’. Join us as we do bad Morgan Freeman impressions and wonder about Dustin Hoffman’s manhood. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Ass Swipe. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

We hope everyone is staying safe and trying to make the best of their quarantine. But assuming that you're not trying to necessarily make the best of it, you might as well listen to us then. So here’s a replay of one of our favorite episodes that maybe will cheer you up and help pass the time. *ORIGINAL AIR DATE: JANUARY 9, 2018* ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES: In 1991, cool brah James Cameron and tubular dudette Kathryn Bigelow pulled down their pants and mooned the world when they created the beloved action movie "Point Break," which showed us all that some bank robbers aren't just criminals, but can also be one-with-nature radical surfers who love to skydive. Patrick Swayze plays Bodhi, the philosophical leader of the gang of surfing bank robbers who call themselves The Ex-Presidents. He and his floppy sun-bleached hair don't want to allow society to dictate how they live their lives, so he prefers to rob banks to stick it to the man (aka, so he can just party all the time). Keanu Reeves plays the absurdly-named Johnny Utah, an Ohio-bred, former college star quarterback who has now become an FBI agent, and has been tapped to go undercover as a surfer to infiltrate the suspects. At first Bodhi and his gang don't trust him—because, as we all know, Keanu seems nothing like a surfer—but once they learn he used to be a football star, they immediately accept him into their circle, no questions asked.  Gary Busey plays Keanu's grizzled, older partner who came up with the zany theory that the bank robbers might be surfer dudes. Busey is shockingly normal in this role, even though it was after his brain injury, so it's, well, confusing.  And Lori Petty plays Tyler, an orphaned surfer who is Swayze's ex-girlfriend and becomes Keanu's love interest. She enjoys shooting guns just inches away from people's heads when she finds out they lied to her, and that's about it. Join us as we jump out of a plane without a parachute, discuss how this movie was remade twice (one was titled "The Fast and the Furious"), and wonder whether or not Tim Tebow is currently an FBI informant. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

With yet another view into the creepy mind of ‘80s John Hughes, we decided to tackle the 1986 film “Pretty in Pink.” It stars Molly Ringwald in a flip of her “richie” role in “The Breakfast Club,” where she is the one from the wrong side of the tracks. She has an alcoholic, loser dad (played by Harry Dean Stanton), and is being stalked by a duck-tailed clown named Duckie (played by Jon Cryer). She’s also being stalked by one of the school’s rich kids, Blane, but she’s cool with his stalking because he’s rich. So they start dating or something and nobody likes it for some reason, but then they end up together. Yay. Even though, the original ending in the script had it the other way around. You know it’s a good movie when they have to change the ending after test screenings. We wonder if the characters from “Designing Women” were possibly into sex trafficking, we discuss Tom Hanks’ rapping son, and we wonder if the mom who abandoned this on-screen family ran off to Mexico with the unseen dad from “E.T.” Here’s the creepy song “Elegia” by New Order that we talk about and play. Also, watch the Oscar-nominated Animated Short “MORE” by Mark Osborn that we mention.  Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by COVID Cruises. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

For the fourth year in a row, we fired up the mics immediately after watching the Oscars ceremony and give you our take on what we witnessed. We also figure out who got the most categories correct, discuss the ceremony, some of the speeches, and our most-hated moments from the broadcast. It might not have had a host, but Parasite thrived. Follow along by visiting filmsnuff.com/2020OscarNoms, where we have provided a list of the nominations in the order we read them. As always, follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Will it be "Parasite" or "1917" that takes home the big prize? Join us as we discuss the year that was 2019 in film as we break down our thoughts on all the Oscar-nominated movies, and then each pick what we think will win in all 24 categories. Keating pretentiously mocks Jim for making what he considers outrageously dumb picks. We differed on 15 of the 24 categories! And weirdly, we mention in this episode how we were amazed that 103-year-old Kirk Douglas was still alive, and then only minutes after we stopped recording, did the news of his death break. Spooky. The Oscars ceremony will be held on Sunday, Feb. 9, 2020—and we will watch that together and then fire up the mics afterward to give you our immediate reactions to that, and to see who guessed more categories correctly (spoiler alert: it won’t be Jim).   Follow along here, where we have provided a list of the nominations in the order we read them, with what we each picked. As always, follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In the latest installment of our recurring In Theaters segment, we saw Quentin Tarantino’s newest film "Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood" and then immediately fired up the mics to discuss it. Some people have hailed this movie as a masterpiece while others think it’s a misogynistic mess. Where did we fall on that spectrum? What did we think of the surprise ending? How did we feel about the portrayal of Bruce Lee? Find out now.  **NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS** Quick Facts Release date: July 26, 2019 Runtime: 2 hours, 41 minutes Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Emile Hirsch, Margaret Qualley, Timothy Olyphant, Austin Butler, Dakota Fanning, Bruce Dern, Al Pacino, Kurt Russell Directed by: Quentin Tarantino Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In 2000, Robert Zemeckis made "Cast Away," the longest FedEx commercial in history that masquerades as a trapped-on-a-desert-island story. Granted, the middle section of the film where Tom Hanks is marooned isn't terrible, but the pair of audience-insulting bookending acts that surround it replace any good will that created with seething anger. Tom Hanks plays Chuck Noland, a man with no time because of his demanding job at FedEx, who is the lone survivor of a plane crash over the Pacific—and then washes ashore a small, uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere. His deteriorated mental state (which weirdly happens within days) makes him need to paint a face in his own blood on a Wilson-branded volleyball so he has something to talk to. He struggles to survive for years, and eventually is motivated to build a boat to escape by wanting to return a package to its sender and by wanting badly to see his girlfriend again. Unfortunately his girlfriend played by Helen Hunt has in the meantime married some other dude and had a kid with him. So when Hanks does return, it was all for nothing. Her character is hardly developed, so we don't ultimately care. But it is annoying that everyone close to him blames him for getting stuck on a desert island. Join us as we wonder if Robert Zemeckis secretly bought stock in FedEx while making this movie, Jim recalls a teacher he hates from grade school, and we sing some Springsteen covers. ALSO: Here's the link to the Wilson's website where you can buy a bloody volleyball.  Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Busted Nut. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The Kevin Costner vanity project "Dances with Wolves" beat "GoodFellas" for Best Picture in 1990. That's right, this three-hour goofy slog that was heralded as the first movie not to have two-dimensional Native American characters, took home the gold statue. The problem? Even if its Lakota characters had actual names and dialogue, they're still depicted as Noble Savages who seem more like cavemen than fleshed-out individuals. Kevin Costner clownishly plays a Civil War Union soldier named Lt. John Dunbar who goes on a suicide mission rather than have his leg amputated and then is considered brave when he doesn't die miraculously. This hero status then gives him the opportunity to go to any military post he desires, and he chooses one out in the Western American Frontier, because, as he says, "He wants to see it before it's gone." Right, because he knew in 1863 that Walmarts would soon be everywhere (just the first of many heavy-handed environmental messages Costner shoves down our throats). Dunbar then meets the Lakota tribe, befriends them, and then eventually becomes one of them, shunning his American identity forever. Mary McDonnell plays Stands With A Fist, a white woman whose family was killed by the Pawnee, and then was found and adopted by the Lakota. Of course, she acts as a translator and then also the love interest for him. Because she’s white, so what’s not to love. Even though she looks like she was electrocuted. Graham Greene plays Kicking Bird, the tribe’s holy man, who befriends Dunbar and is also the adopted father of Stands With A Fist (even though in real life she’s older than him). He’s depicted as nice, but also incredibly simple. Just like all the Lakota in this. And all the American soldiers for that matter. Join us as we tear apart the historical inaccuracies in the film, marvel at its goofiness, and also talk about how one of the actors in this murdered his wife in real life later. ALSO: Here's the NYT article Keating mentions at the end about Costner being hated by the Lakota. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Jizz to Say I'm Sorry. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

After the enormous success of Jordan Peele's first feature film, "Get Out," he's back at the helm again with his followup, "Us" (which is currently in theaters). And, because of that, we went and saw it for our aptly-named In Theaters segment that we do on this show from time to time. But guess what? We disagreed on this one. Well, maybe our doppelgängers did. But find out which of *us* took a pair of scissors to the heart of this picture, and which has his heart tethered to it. **NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS** Quick Facts Release date: March 22, 2019 Runtime: 2 hours, 1 minute Starring: Lupita Nyong'o, Winston Duke, Elisabeth Moss, Tim Heidecker, Shahadi Wright Joseph, Evan Alex, Madison Curry Directed by: Jordan Peele Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

If you actually do stop and look around at the 1986 John Hughes classic "Ferris Bueller’s Day Off," there's a lot of stuff you can't miss that doesn't make sense. Are Ferris and his sister twins? Do his parents think he has the mind of the 5-year-old boy? Is Ferris a figment of Cameron's imagination? We will discuss all those and much more as we tear this iconic '80s flick. Matthew Broderick plays Ferris Bueller, one of the most popular high school students without a social media presence in the history of the world. He acts like a baby around his parents and habitually skips school. He enjoys scheming, using people to do his bidding, grand theft auto, lip-synching on parade floats, computer hacking, changing outfits a lot, and complaining that he doesn't own a car (which, knowing what we know now about Matthew Broderick's driving record—thank god he doesn't).  29-year-old (at the time) Alan Ruck plays Cameron Frye, Ferris' sad-sack best friend who spends the whole movie moping about his daddy issues, and then destroys a priceless automobile because he's a bad son.   Pre-nose-job and pre-"Dirty Dancing" Jennifer Grey plays Ferris' sister Jeannie, who spend the whole movie chasing Ferris. Knowing the two actors dated afterward, this now makes more sense. Convicted child porn owner Jeffrey Jones plays Principal Ed Rooney, who also spends the whole movie chasing Ferris. Which, knowing what we now know about this actor, makes this very scary. Mia Sara plays Sloan Peterson, Ferris' younger girlfriend whose main purpose in this movie is to baby and sexually confuse Cameron while also hoping Ferris will marry her (he won't). And Charlie Sheen basically plays himself. Join us as we are relieved Ferris doesn't own a car, that Jeffrey Jones never catches him, try to determine which of the cliques the principal’s secretary rattles off we fit into, and as Jim discovers that he *is* Cameron Frye. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Little Farmas. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The controversial 2018 film "Green Book" that just won the Academy Award for Best Picture has it all: a white-savior narrative, cheesy New York Italian-American accents, and a series of cringeworthy tone-deaf scenes that aim to solve racism, but end up being more racist themselves in the end. Farrelly brother Peter directed this unfunny Oscar-bait that apparently either warmed the hearts of all the old white Academy members or was just the perfect anti-Netflix movie to pick so "Roma" wouldn't win. Often compared to "Driving Miss Daisy," it's actually more like "The Bodyguard," "The Odd Couple" and "Planes, Trains and Automobiles." Very not-Italian-looking Viggo Mortensen plays Frank "Tony Lip" Vallelonga, an almost-illiterate, mobbed-up thug who uses violence to solve all of his problems. This movie paints him as a loving family man who will do anything to support them, when in reality he's an awful racist grifter who would never change his attitudes on a dime just because he hung out with one black person for a few weeks. Mahershala Ali plays Dr. Don Shirley (in a role he won an Best Supporting Actor Oscar for), a lonely genius pianist who hires Tony Lip as his bodyguard/driver so he doesn't get messed with while on tour in the 1962 Jim Crow American South. Though every time Tony saves him from trouble, he flips out like a baby for no reason. Linda Cardellini plays Dolores Vallelonga, the doting wife stock character who seems to be the only non-racist member of her entire family. There’s even supporting characters played by cheesy standup comedian Sebastian Maniscalco and the guy who played Donna's dad on "That '70s Show." Join us as we wonder how many times Nick Vallelonga (the main character’s real-life son) watched "GoodFellas" while writing this movie, as we make fun of Steven Spielberg's recent anti-streaming services comments, as we talk about how Paul Walker doesn't get enough grief for dating a 15 year old, and as we wonder if Mahershala Ali is secretly embarrassed this movie won him a second Oscar. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Michelob Ultra Pathetic. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

For the third year in a row, we fired up the mics immediately after watching the Oscars ceremony and give you our take on what we witnessed. We also figure out who got the most categories correct (and settle our wager), discuss the ceremony, some of the speeches, and our favorite and most-hated moments from the broadcast. It might not have had a host, but there still were a lot of parasites.  Follow along by visiting filmsnuff.com/2019OscarNoms, where we have provided a list of the nominations in the order we read them. As always, follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

We guide you through the Oscar nominations for movies released in 2018 leading up to this Sunday's ceremony (which will take place on Feb. 24). We discuss the snubs, the surprises, and give you our picks for all 24 categories. We also decide upon a bet for whoever loses, and talk about how bad "Bohemian Rhapsody" is and how it shouldn't have been nominated for anything. Follow along by visiting filmsnuff.com/2019oscarnoms, where we have provided a list of the nominations in the order we read them. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Happy Valentine's Day! This time we tore apart the 2009 movie "(500) Days of Summer," an overly-stylized hipster attempt at an anti-romantic comedy. You can't spell parenthetical without pathetic.  This is one of the most pretentious movies in the last ten years. They bounce back and forth between timelines for no reason, make obvious literary, music, art, and film references to try and seem smart, and they even have films-within-the-film to seem clever. It also hits the annoying montage trifecta: a sadness montage, a redemption montage, and a post-coital-skipping-around-super-happy montage. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Tom Hansen, man-boy who works as a writer at a greeting card company, but secretly wants to be an architect, his true passion. Well, he only decides to be one when he's told to become one once by a hot chick. Zooey Deschanel play Summer Finn, a classic Manic Pixie Dream Girl who makes it perfectly clear to this dude that she doesn’t want a serious relationship, and in a sense, is the real victim of this story—even though she’s made to be a pseudo-villain. Join as we discuss how this movie is weirdly racist against Chinese people for no reason and how it's another modern movie about Los Angeles a la "La La Land" where L.A. is showed in a clean and idealized old-timey way. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Pariah Insurance. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

We decided to curb stomp the 1998 Edward Norton vehicle "American History X" that showed us all neo-Nazis have to do to overcome their vicious deep-seated racism is have one jokey conversation with a funny black guy in prison. This movie has it all: a "Psycho"-esque black-and-white bloody slow-motion shower scene, a hilariously unrealistic reverse slam dunk by Edward Norton, a giant swastika tattoos, a cheesy villains, a few funny wigs, and even a little kid dressed up as Adolf Hitler. Edward Norton stars as Derek Vinyard, a leader of a white supremacist gang called the Disciples of Christ, who kills a couple dudes who try to rob his car (one by curb stomping). He then serves three years in prison for voluntary manslaughter, changes his beliefs and tries to prevent his brother from going down the same path. He goes from wearing a backward hat over his mullet (like Poochie from "The Simpsons") when innocent to a shaved-head neo-Nazi with a giant swastika tattooed on his chest two seconds later. Edward Furlong plays Norton's younger brother who recalls the story and writes it in a paper for school and annoyingly narrates throughout the film. Beverly D'Angelo (of the "Vacation" movies fame) plays their chain-smoking mom who can't catch a break after her racist firefighter husband dies. Avery Brooks (Benjamin Sisko from "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") plays Dr. Bob Sweeney, a high school principal who also seems to run the police department and the prison system. And we also have Ethan Suplee, Fairuza Balk, Elliott Gould, Stacy Keach, and the nice-guy dad from "Boy Meets World" as an N-word spewing fireman dad. We wonder who would be funny at reading the "Mein Kampf" audiobook, how hard Beverly D'Angelo is trying to win an Oscar in this, and how the paper Edward Furlong's character writes throughout is an F paper. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by MAGA Youth Recovery. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The 1984 box office smash "Splash" gave us a lot of things: Tom Hanks as a leading man, Ron Howard as a bankable director, and oddly the name Madison becoming popular. It’s just a shame that's all this pile of fish crap is worth. It's literally a fish out of water story, and also, frankly, the filmmakers have a lawsuit against the movie "The Shape of Water," which ripped this off almost to the letter. Tom Hanks plays Allen Bauer, a wholesale fruit and vegetable salesman who apparently is incapable of loving a woman because he saw a mermaid when he was 10 years old. When he meets her much older, he doesn't know she's a mermaid and just assumes she's a hot woman who doesn't speak English and might not be of sound mind, but he decides the best thing to do is have sex with her a bunch. Daryl Hannah plays "Madison," the aforementioned mermaid, who has six days to spend on land (which is never explained) to find her true love (which is apparently some kid she saw on a boat once). Also, she transforms to a mermaid and back to a human multiple times throughout, so why is there some deadline? Anyway. Oh, and she’s also apparently a genius, because she learns how to speak English and everything about modern society by watching TV for a few hours. John Candy plays Hanks' older, zany playboy brother who drinks too much, chases women, and smokes cigars. His character is for comic relief. The only problem is he's not funny at all. Eugene Levy plays the hair-brained scientist who is after the mermaid. He spends the movie trying to spray her with water so people will stop thinking he's crazy, but then he gets a heart and helps her out in the end. What a shock. Join us as we try to figure out how this was nominated for Best Original Screenplay at the Oscars that year, how this movie received a PG rating, and how both Cape Cod and New York City's the East River are both somehow tropical paradises. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Liberty and Concrete for All. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Happy New Year! We'll be back next week with new episodes. It's 2019 now. The future. Makes the 2015 from "Back to the Future Part II" seem like a million years ago. But now we're in the year of "Blade Runner." And they really nailed that. No better way to describe Los Angeles 2019 than a bunch of sushi-eating robots. Jim's still on his paternity leave of sorts as we've been taking some time off for the holidays, but in the meantime, enjoy our repost of one of our favorite episodes, "When Harry Met Sally..." ******* ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES: We will not have what she's having! The 1989 Rob Reiner-directed and Nora Ephron-written vehicle "When Harry Met Sally..." ushered in Meg Ryan as a leading lady and has been a pox on all of our houses ever since. We know that this movie is fiction because it pretends 41-year-old Billy Crystal is a twenty-something Lothario who has slept with so many women that he may need to leave New York City. Billy Crystal plays Harry Burns, a supposed political consultant, and Meg Ryan plays Sally Albright, a supposed hard-hitting journalist, even though we never see either of them do a lick of work. But they must be successful because they are both insanely rich with their gigantic Manhattan high-rise apartments. The story follows these two unlikable characters over 12 years, even though they only really know each other for the last year and a half. So, why 12 years? The cast also features the late Carrie Fisher and the late Bruno Kirby as Harry and Sally's friends who are equally despicable New Yorkers. This movie has it all—fake female orgasms, old-people-in-love testimonials, wagon wheel coffee tables, power walking and even former President Gerald Ford's son. Join us as we do impressions of hack comedians from the '80s, discuss whether or not men and women can be friends and wonder whatever happened to The Sharper Image. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Hey, guys, we're still hoping to get a Christmas episode done, but this past week hit a little snag. A good little snag. Jim's wife just gave birth to their second child, so needless to say, he's been a little busy this week. And this time she didn't go into labor while we were recording, so that's good. See our "Jerry Maguire" episode for when that happened. And more good news: Keating is still childless.  Anyway, in the meantime, we decided to repost our "Home Alone 2" episode on our feed, so go enjoy (or re-enjoy) that one. Or hate it (or re-hate it)—whichever you choose.  ******* ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES: Merry Christmas, you nosy little perverts! 'Tis the season to steal your parents' credit card, check into the Plaza Hotel and befriend a spooky Central Park pigeon lady with a secret lair inside Carnegie Hall. That's right—it's time to dissect everyone's favorite childhood sequel, "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York." Macaulay Culkin reprises his role as Kevin McCallister, a sociopathic sadist who justifies his brutal torture of two hapless petty criminals under the guise of preventing a Christmas Eve burglary of a toy store that plans to donate its proceeds to a children's hospital. Somebody needs to teach this kid that vigilante justice is illegal and that insurance surely would have reimbursed the toy store owner for his loses. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are back as Harry and Marv, a duo of bumbling burglars who have escaped prison only to immediately run into the boy who put them there. In this film, they really take a licking, but they keep on sticking. President Donald Trump also makes an appearance in the film as himself, a weird-coiffed, megalomaniacal douche-nozzle with small hands and an alleged micropenis. Join us as we discuss our hatred of pigeons, the awfulness of the Talkboy, and the exact severity of Harry and Marv's injuries.  Links: Talkboy commercial we mentioned in the episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anjyiO754hU Also, the Talkboy commercial spoof we mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9wgzUSsE_Y Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Continuing our discussion and dismantling of the epic classic film from 1939, "Gone with the Wind," we break down everything that happens in the nutty second half of this movie (after the intermission). Scarlett O'Hara gets married two more times to people she doesn't love, and Rhett Butler continues to play his mind games with her.  Join us as we discuss the evil things Rhett does to Scarlett, we learn how Keating doesn't fully understand what breastfeeding is, and as we (for some reason) compare the characters in this movie to their "Family Matters" counterparts. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by OscarBot. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In our 100th episode, we cover the first half of the epic classic 1939 film "Gone with the Wind" that tells a story of Southern belle Scarlett O'Hara who begins her life as a bratty rich girl on her idyllic plantation, and then loses everything when the Civil War strikes. Then she lies, cheats, murders and marries her way into being rich during Reconstruction, like some kind of airheaded Daniel Plainview. Marred by a tumultuous production due to its maniac producer David O. Selznick, this almost four-hour flick went on to win 8 Oscars, including Best Picture, and is the highest-grossing film of all time (adjusted for inflation) with more than 200 million tickets sold. Vivien Leigh plays Scarlett O'Hara, a woman who is secretly in love with a married man named Ashley, and won't let that go. When her family loses all their money, she turns extra evil and does whatever it takes to get rich again, even if that means lying, cheating, killing and entering into three loveless marriages. Clark Gable plays Rhett Butler, a pencil-thin-mustachioed scalawag scoundrel who spends half the movie negging Scarlett into submission. Then, despite the fact that she openly articulates her love for another man, he gets her to marry him as a business decision and he proceeds to intermittently fly into fits of rage over her not loving him. Oh, and he also rapes her and habitually walks out on her. He's a real gem.  Hattie McDaniel plays Mammy, Scarlett's long-time slave nanny, who is used as comic relief in this movie by muttering "white trash" under her breath the whole time. McDaniel became the first African-American actor to be nominated for and win an Oscar, so at least that's something. Olivia de Havilland (who is still alive at 102 years old) plays Melanie, a kind and oblivious woman who marries her cousin, has an incest baby and doesn't seem to notice that her sister-in-law and best friend secretly wants her husband. Join us as we discuss how the Scarlett O'Hara character doesn’t change and she is an awful person, decide that the slimy Rhett Butler would make a good used carriage salesman, and discuss this movie's crazy production and its novel. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Less Fear Tactical Gear. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nancy Meyers' most recently helmed vehicle, 2015's "The Intern" once again shows that she is out of touch with society and unable to make a movie that doesn't pander to the lowest common denominator. This cliche fish-out-of water story is just the same lame joke flopping around repeatedly wishing it could swim.  And although this movie is set in modern-day Brooklyn, it pretends like the idea of an Internet company that sells clothes is something new, and it populates its cast of only white characters with people who have incredibly backward ideas about working women and men staying home to raise the kids. Anne Hathaway plays Jules Ostin, the ultra-hands-on founder and CEO of a fast-growing fashion startup called About the Fit. She is overworked and struggling with deciding whether to hire a CEO to replace her so she can keep her stay-at-home dad of a husband happy. The idea of delegating tasks and hiring a nanny never occurred to these billionaires. Robert De Niro plays Ben Whittaker, a 70-year-old widower who starts to work as an intern at Hathaway's startup company. He is a two-dimensional, sickly sweet character who we feel is actually a weasel in sheep's clothing, because he takes every opportunity to brown-nose Hathaway in order to move up in the company and into her life. Rene Russo plays the company's in-house massage therapist, but she seems more like an in-house prostitute with the overly-sexualized massages she is constantly giving De Niro, who she of course fall in love with, because they're both not young and near each other. Andrew Rannells plays Hathaway's right-hand man at the company who appears to actually call all the shots weirdly, because he secretly has meetings with the board without Hathaway being there and is the one who forces her to take on an intern to shadow her. But really Nancy Meyers just wanted her main character to have a gay best friend underling, so it doesn’t matter that his job makes no sense. And two-thirds of the "Workaholics" main cast are also in this movie—Adam DeVine as a sexually-harassing co-worker of De Niro's, and Anders Holm as Hathaway's unhappy and unfaithful stay-at-home dad husband. Poor Blake. Join us as we dive into Nancy Meyers' bizarre psyche once again, wonder why she equates carrying a handkerchief with being a "real man," and if she actually is the feminist she so claims to be. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Dr. SAD's earplugs. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In 2000, Disney released "Remember the Titans," a true story about a newly racially-integrated Virginia high school football team that in 1971 went 13-0, and in the process dissolved racial tensions in the community. Great story, but too bad it's not true.  Denzel Washington plays the team's coach Herman Boone, who is brought in to be the new coach, replacing the popular and successful white coach.  This movie also features some of the first roles of Ryan Gosling and Hayden Panettiere.  Join us as we break down how exactly inaccurate this insanely cheesy "true story" actually is.  Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Crystal Clear Chandeliers. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Today we open our mailbag and answer questions on subjects like: what movies do we disagree on, what movies are we looking forward to doing on the show most, and whether or not our ads are real. We also recount a story about Keating fixing a beauty contest, discuss how he has a knack for making people flip out on him, and read a listener's anecdote about how Film Snuff helps her tolerate spending time with her dad. If you have a question, comment or fun story that you'd like to hear on a future Mailbag episode, talk with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or write us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Happy Halloween! In 1978, John Carpenter made a film where a guy slowly strolls around a town killing babysitters for no reason, but apparently it is a deep social commentary—but if you really think about it, it isn't. It's just a movie about a guy slowly strolling around a town killing babysitters. For no reason. Activia spokesperson Jamie Lee Curtis stars as Laurie Strode, a smokin' hot high school nerd who boys don't like because she's "too smart," yet not smart enough to realize that a guy who is clearly stalking her is on a murderous rampage and happens to be invincible. Donald Pleasence plays Dr. Sam Loomis, a psychiatrist who somehow knows that his patient who hasn't said or done anything wrong in his 15 years of imprisonment is pure evil and bound to go on a killing spree in his hometown. It turns out he's right, but how would he know all this? Join us as we remise about classic '70s cars, make fun of pretentious horror film nerds, and wonder why this empty, boring movie is considered such a classic. Also, here's that weird last bit of dialogue we discussed. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by The Jeff Bezos Relief Fund. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In this installment of our periodical "In Theaters" segment, we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we discuss a movie where Disney dreamboat Ryan Gosling plays Neil Armstrong, "First Man." Will we think it's out of this world, or will we think it's as vacuous as space? Listen to find out.  **NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS** Quick Facts Release date: October 12, 2018 Runtime: 2 hours, 21 minutes Starring: Ryan Gosling, Claire Foy, Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Corey Stoll, Patrick Fugit, Christopher Abbot, Ciarán Hinds, Olivia Hamilton, Pablo Schreiber, Shea Whigham, Lukas Haas, Ethan Embry Directed by: Damien Chazelle Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

A woman dumps her boyfriend because she's about to go to Harvard Law School and doesn't want his childish antics holding her back. Then this jilted lover devises an elaborate scheme to enroll in her school specifically to stalk her and systematically destroy her life. Sound like a horror story? Well, if you switch out the gender of the psycho stalker and add some fun music, then you've got yourself the movie, "Legally Blonde." Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Dumb Products Incorporated. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dear Blue, I'm just like you. I'm a multimillionaire cool guy stud-muffin, with two still-married, supportive supermodel parents who are extremely liberal and accepting of gay people. I just don’t know how I’m ever going to come out. There are too many road blocks in front of me. Also, all my friends are totally fine with people being gay, but I still don’t think it's going to be okay. Also, Blue, I have thought you were approximately 10 different guys in my high school and I fell in love with each of them instantly, because apparently all it takes for a gay person to fall in love is meeting another gay person, unless their name is Ethan—then, ew, gross. Love, Jaques (I’m writing this in 2018, not 1918, believe it or not)  P.S. I'm currently being blackmailed for no reason, but when my friends eventually find out, they will they will not take this into consideration. P.P.S. Also, I’m going to force you to come out publicly in front of the whole school or else you don't love me and therefore are also intolerant, so you better get on that Ferris wheel—or else. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by the International Sweatshop Association. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Steven Spielberg's blockbuster "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" has been a part of the world's consciousness since it debuted in 1982, but when you take off those nostalgia goggles and look at it with fresh eyes, you'll realize it's nothing more than a story about a boy and his dog, a horror movie aimed at kids, and, strangely, a story with strong Jesus Christ parallels. This movie gave us many things: Reese's Pieces (one of the dozens of product placements in this), Drew Barrymore, the Amblin logo, and, of course, "Mac and Me."  Henry Thomas plays the main character, a child named Elliott, who creepily gets taken over by an alien botanist who was left behind on Earth by his species. Elliott enjoys not dissecting frogs, screaming, and being mentally brainwashed by a beer-drinking, Speak-&-Spell-ing, wax-candy-eating monster.  Dee Wallace plays Elliott's frazzled single mother, who is falling apart because her husband recently left her and then took off to Mexico with some woman. Her likes include: barely miss seeing E.T. at every step, dressing up as a sexy cat, and leaving children unattended. Her dislikes include: Mexico, pizza, and kids showing up minutes late of their vague curfews.  Robert MacNaughton plays Elliot's older brother, Michael, who looks like a mix of Charlie Bucket, Eddie Haskell and Steve Buscemi. He helps Elliott hide E.T. and heroically aides in his ultimate survival and homecoming. Michael loves Dungeons & Dragons, Space Invaders, yet also plays on the football team. A real Renaissance Man.  Drew Barrymore plays Elliott's little sister, Gertie, who says cute things, teaches E.T. to talk, and agrees to allow E.T. to take her place while they pretend to go trick-or-treating.  And Peter Coyote plays an unnamed (and mostly unseen) government official who is hunting E.T. and has a bunch of keys attached to his belt.  Join us as we dive deep into all the product placement in this movie, discuss Spielberg's daddy issues and really dissect this whole "E.T. is Jesus" thing. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by InMate. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Hey, guys. Jim is feeling a little under the weather, so we decided to wait on recording "E.T." for now and re-air a classic episode, one of our favorites. See you next week! ******* ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES: G'day, mates! The 1986 Aussie-American comedy "Crocodile Dundee" takes us deep into the Outback on a harrowin’ journey with poisonous snakes, gun-totin’ roos and giant rubber crocs. It also takes us to New York City where the hero of the story goes around Manhattan while casually assaulting newspaper editors, pimps, cross-dressers and small-knife-wielding, would-be muggers. Paul Hogan plays Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee, a possibly magical, fun-lovin’ big-knife-wielding bloke who enjoys knocking unsuspecting people unconscious, shooting at drunken idiots and poaching protected wildlife. He's perfectly content walking about the world by himself until he meets a "sheila" with a nice arse and is quickly swept away. Linda Kozlowski plays Sue Charlton, a plucky young reporter who enjoys cheating on her boyfriend and jet setting around the world to write trivial articles while exclusively staying in extravagant 5-star hotels because her daddy owns the newspaper she works for.  Reginald VelJohnson (Carl Winslow from "Family Matters") plays Gus, the newspaper's apparent full-time kindly limo driver who loves to drink on the job and throw makeshift boomerangs at pimps. Join us as we recount a time we almost got charged by an angry bull, as we wonder why Americans were so obsessed with Australia in the 1980s, and as we try to come up with interesting slogans for cocaine. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The 1995 smash hit "While You Were Sleeping" is about a mentally deranged woman who infiltrates the family of a man who was violently attacked and falls into a coma by claiming that she is his fiancée. She deceives his family into welcoming her as one of their own and she even manages to manipulate the coma patient’s godfather into  conspiring with her. Last but not least, she seduces the coma victim’s unsuccessful but kinda charming brother which could potentially destroy this happy family she so covets. Sandra Bullock plays Lucy Eleanor Moderatz, a sad Chicago Transit Authority worker whose only meaningful relationship was with her recently deceased father. She fantasizes about trading in her cat lady existence for becoming the wife of a rich handsome lawyer who she doesn't even know. The only problem with her dream is that it has no basis in reality and the only she can achieve it is through disgusting treachery. Bill Pullman plays Jack Callaghan, a spineless ne'er-do-well who specializes in conning recently bereaved families into selling their furniture for for a fraction of its worth, but he aspires to make furniture rather than harvesting it from the dead, so that makes him a nice dude or something. He also drops everything when he meets his brother’s fiancée and focuses all of his efforts on stealing her. Peter Gallagher plays Peter Callaghan, a one testicled slimy narcissistic lawyer with glamour shots of himself displayed all over his apartment and even a few in his wallet. He is also quasi-engaged to an evil-seeming married woman. Peter Boyle plays Ox Callaghan, the patriarch of this family of ghouls who delights in profiting from the personal tragedy of others. He’s kinda the same character he played in "Everybody Loves Raymond," but he loves to dance on people's graves. Jack Warden plays Saul Tuttle, an old jokester who was adopted by the Callaghan family after he lost his wife and was named the godfather of their eldest son. He repays the favor by betraying them and using Yiddish to criticize them. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Zip Code or Bust. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In this installment of our periodical "In Theaters" segment, we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we discuss a movie that has been dominating the box office for the last three weeks and shows no signs of letting up, "Crazy Rich Asians." **NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS** Quick Facts Release date: August 15, 2018 Runtime: 2 hours Starring: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Gemma Chan, Lisa Lu, Awkwafina, Harry Shum Jr., Ken Jeong, Sonoya Mizuno, Chris Pang, Jimmy O. Yang, Ronny Chieng, Remy Hii, Nico Santos Directed by: Jon M. Chu Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In 1999, famed director of "Jurassic Park III," Joe Johnston, outdid his previous attempts at making the perfect melodramatic cheesefest movie with "October Sky." The film is about teens with hardscrabble beginnings who launch a projectile as an attempt to escape their upbringings, but the insincerity of the performances made audiences want to projectile launch their lunches into jumbo-sized popcorn buckets. Prior to learning how to act, Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Homer Hickam, a boy who immediately becomes obsessed with rocketry after witnessing Sputnik orbiting the Earth and begins a personal correspondence with a famous Nazi scientist, Wernher von Braun. Homer and the rag-tag group of misfits that he assembles go from accidentally blowing up a picket fences to winning the National Science Fair after a ton of montages that are meant to let us know how tenacious they were. Chris "The Sherminator" Owen plays a nerdlinger dweebizoid named Quentin who is such a pariah at his high school that even the act of approaching him at lunchtime warrants an audible gasp from the entire rest of the student body. Quentin is the brains of the rocketry operation and indispensable to its success, but he somehow receives almost no credit because Homer was busy lapping it all up. Laura Dern's portrayal of a passionate teacher named Miss Riley who is diagnosed with a terminal disease just as the students she inspired were about to realize their dreams was as thirsty for an Oscar nomination as humanly possible. They actually have her witness their last launch from her deathbed. This is what we are dealing with here. Chris Cooper plays Homer's dad, and he's just doing his typical gruff dad role like in every movie he's in other than "Adaptation."  Join us as we discuss passive-aggressive painting, the differences between the memoir and the movie, and why The Sherminator should've won an Oscar for this movie. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by 23 and NOT Me. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

The 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger action-comedy smash hit and cultural sensation "Kindergarten Cop" reminds us that this kid's movie mainly loved by teenagers shouldn't be revisited by adults. Its giant plot holes (larger than the holes Arnold's reckless cop character wouldn't mind leaving in any drug addict unwilling to get out of the way of his tricked-out shotgun) get force-filled with a huge helping of heart (as Arnold falls in love and misses his estranged son that we or he never see) and are about as big as Arnold's partner's hilariously large appetite (because she's small, get it?). The comedy menu we're given here basically largely consists of "mean man who hates everyone has to deal with children" and daily specials akin to the show "Kids Say the Darndest Things." Seemingly weeks pass in this three-day plot because we get a lot of montages where Arnold marches these little kids like a drill sergeant in order to whip them into shape, and oddly, somehow this makes them love him instantly. Arnold plays Detective John Kimble (a cop, you idiot!), who goes undercover (while weirdly using his real name) as a kindergarten teacher to find out who all the kids' daddies are and also learn what they do. This is because a notorious drug dealer named Cullen Crisp (played by Richard Tyson) has recently learned the whereabouts of his ex-wife and child and plans to go find them when he gets out of jail. Penelope Ann Miller plays both the on-the-run ex-wife of the bad guy and Arnold's love interest. She works at the school he's scoping out, because apparently small towns don't ask any questions or check references. Arnold's food-loving partner is played by Pamela Reed. And that's her whole character: she's Arnold's partner and she loves food. There's also a principal character played by Oscar-winner Linda Hunt who is suspicious of Arnold being a teacher and hopes he'll soon quit, even though she knows from the get-go that he's an undercover cop who will only be staying a few days. Join us as we discuss how dumb the and dangerous the police heroes of this movie are, our thoughts on the honor bar in hotels and reminisce about those old Arnold soundboards people used for prank calls back in the day. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Bravo's "The Real Stay-at-Home Dads of Boise." Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In 2000, Gus Van Sant released his second film about a sad older man who mentors a promising young genius only to regain his zest for life along the way, "Finding Forrester." They tried to rekindle the magic from "Good Will Hunting," but they instead ended up making a painfully uncomfortable white savior movie strung together with every cornball trope known to man. Sean Connery plays William Forrester, a reclusive writer who authored a book that is now on the required reading list for every high schooler (aka a J.D. Salinger stand-in). Forrester has a habit of creepily monitoring the comings and goings of everyone in his neighborhood through binoculars and has the ability to read lips or something because he seems to know exactly what everyone is up to. His peeping eventually manages to rouse some local kids into breaking into his apartment to see what his deal is. Rob Brown plays Jamal Wallace, a 16-year-old genius from the Bronx who started journaling regularly after his drug-addicted dad walked out on his family. Jamal excels at basketball, but he hides his intelligence and his ambitions to be writer from everyone in his life until he accidentally drops the backpack containing his journals while robbing the apartment of Connery's character, the local ghostly hermit. F. Murray Abraham plays Professor Robert Crawford, a bitter teacher at a prestigious private school who has spent the past several decades talking down to his students and viciously punishing any dissenters. He is a crazy fanboy of Sean Connery's character and, unbeknownst to him, Connery went out his way to blackball him and prevent his book from being published which made him into the monster that he has become. Join us as we cringe our way though Sean Connery trying to win an Oscar, debate whether or not Jamal is even good at basketball or writing and unleash some of the worst Sean Connery impressions every perpetrated on the general public. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by YouTwit. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

German filmmaker Roland Emmerich's second ultra-jingoistic movie about American independence, "The Patriot," plays a lot like an unofficial remake to Gibson's 1995 masterpiece "Braveheart," but without the whole being a good movie thing. Mel Gibson plays a hatchet-wielding maniac named Benjamin Martin who uses the death of his son and the Revolutionary War as excuses to savagely butcher his victims without facing consequences. He also enters into a sexual relationship with his recently deceased wife's sister (played by Joely Richardson) who is willing to look the other way at his evil behavior. Heath Ledger plays Mel Gibson’s oldest son who enlists in the Continental Army against his father's wishes. Then, when gets wounded in the line of duty, he takes refuge at his family's plantation, which ends up leading to the death of his 15-year-old brother who oddly still plays with toys. Join us as we discuss why the movie insists that slavery barely existed in South Carolina back then, the transformation of racist Donal Logue and the decision to gather up the entire town of people that they made us care about and then burn them alive. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by the City of Austin's proposed name change. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

In this installment of our periodical "In Theaters" segment, we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we travel back to Island Kalokairi to see what happened to our favorite love quadrangle in, "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again."  **NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS** Quick Facts Release date: July 20, 2018 Runtime: 1 hour, 54 minutes Starring: Lily James, Amanda Seyfried, Meryl Streep, Dominic Cooper, Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgård, Christine Baranski, Colin Firth, Cher, Julie Walters, Jeremy Irvine, Andy Garcia, Josh Dylan, Hugh Skinner, Jessica Keenan Wynn, Alexa Davies Directed by: Ol Parker Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Does Your Mother Know you're listening? Well, we're glad that you decided to Take a Chance on us this episode, you little Chiquititas. We don't Lay All Our Love on the 2008 smash hit "Mamma Mia!" Audiences lost and studios won as this movie made $615.7 million at the box office, but, as they say, The Winner Takes It All and the loser has to fall. A lot of people think this movie is Honey, Honey, but we think it's vinegar, vinegar. We thought this might be Our Last Summer after watching this drivel, but we were Super Troupers and powered through it without letting a single scene Slip Through Our Fingers. When All Is Said and Done, not even underrated Meryl Streep could keep us from thinking that this was the cinematic equivalent of Waterloo. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by The Poor Person's Almanack. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Somehow the 1999 Julia Roberts-Hugh Grant flick "Notting Hill"—which is just the repeated gag of "Holy cow; she’s famous and talking to us!"—was extended into a 2-hour movie that made $364 million at the box office. This movie also has side bits about how eccentric British people are in this quaint, and down-to-earth super affluent section of London that seems like it's millions of miles away from Hollywood, even though it’s not. This movie was written by Richard Curtis, the man behind "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and "Love Actually," and it's difficult to differentiate the three, because he’s a hack who pumps out the same schmaltz at every turn. Hugh Grant plays Will Thacker, a man whose entire personality consists of manufacturing excessive apologies into charm. He owns a failing travel bookstore, which he laments, even though he hates his inventory and all his customers, so what’s the mystery. Julia Roberts plays a famous bad actress named Anna Scott (quite the stretch for her) who Hugh Grant falls in love with because she's famous. She's basically a robot in this movie who doesn't do much other than be captivated by this bumbling idiot. Then there’s also a zany roommate, who's basically just a Welsh version of Kramer from "Seinfeld." Oh, and there are other characters who all just complain about their lives and are shown to be in awe of the sight of a famous person in their supposed distant squalor (even though, again, it's super rich London). Join us as we rank the Baldwin brothers, whether or not the zany roommate is a figment of Hugh Grant's imagination and how this movie is so transparently trying to get credit for disabilities. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Chuck Lorre's new TV show, "Fart," which premieres Thursdays this fall on CBS. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Happy Independence Day 2018, everybody! We're taking the week off for the holiday, so we decided to re-air one of our favorite episodes that originally dropped July 4, 2017. We hope you have good time re-listening to it, and we'll be back in your ears next week with a brand-new episode.  ******* ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES: If world events are making you feel less than celebratory, you can always take solace in the fact that there aren't currently any giant spaceships filled with genocidal aliens hovering over the world's major cities like in Roland Emmerich's 1996 megablockbuster, "Independence Day.” Be warned that although "Independence Day" contains a large ensemble cast of mostly A-List actors, the unoriginal script and horrid directing produced some of the worst performances of their careers. Jeff Goldblum plays David Levinson, a lowly, unambitious MIT-educated math genius, chess Grandmaster and cable television executive who can read binary and easily destroy an armada of alien ships with his 1995 Apple PowerBook 5300. Will Smith plays Captain Steven Hiller, a gung-ho Marine who's in love with a stripper with a heart of gold and is capable of coldcocking an armor-clad alien with one punch. He can also inexplicably pilot any kind of vehicle, be it a helicopter or alien ship. Bill Pullman plays President Thomas J. Whitmore, a former Desert Storm fighter pilot turned politician. Pullman’s Dirty Harryesque acting delivered the most hackneyed oration in the history of film, until it was overtaken by the 2009 release of James Cameron’s "Avatar." Randy Quaid plays Russell Casse, a drunken Vietnam vet and father of three who reforms his ways just in time to sacrifice himself and save the world. The makers of this movie seem to believe that criminally irresponsible alcoholic parents are the height of comedy. Judd Hirsch plays Julius Levinson, David’s Yiddish-accented father who serves as a chauffeur and hype man to his son throughout the film. Brent Spiner plays Dr. Brackish Okun, an eccentric Area 51 scientist character. In reality, Spiner is just a pawn to get weirdo Trekkies like Jim to like the movie. Gravelly-voiced Robert Loggia plays General William Grey, a tough old Marine who serves as the President's trusted military advisor throughout the film. Famous crooner-turned-actor-turned-daytime talkshow host, Harry Connick Jr., plays Lieutenant Jimmy Wilder, a pilot in Will Smith's squadron who is fond of doing Jesse Jackson impressions and calling Will Smith "Big Daddy." Harvey Fierstein has a brief cameo as Marty Gilbert, a co-worker of Jeff Goldblum who feels compelled to call his mother after learning of the alien arrival. Upon learning of the aliens' hostile intentions, he also decides to warn his brother and bookie, but decides to spitefully forego warning his lawyer. Join us as we discuss our favorite Reddit news source, DonkeySemen69, and learn about Keating's love for watching horses get punched in the face. Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Weirdly, Mr. Spock himself Leonard Nimoy (not Dr. Spock) directed the highest-grossing film of 1987, "Three Men and a Baby." He might be famous for his ears, but he certainly doesn’t have an ear for comedy. On top of being a one-note joke movie where a trio of rapscallion bachelors don't know how to look after a baby, it also involves a bizarre subplot about heroin dealers chasing after them. Tom Selleck (of "Magnum, P.I." fame) and his mustache play architect Peter Mitchell, a man in a long-term open-relationship who weirdly lives with his two best buds in a high-rise New York City penthouse apartment, even though he's in his 40s and seems like he has $100 million in the bank. Steve Guttenberg (of "Police Academy" fame) plays one those roommates, cartoonist Michael Kellam, who pens a famous comic strip about a racist cheetah with sunglasses named Johnny Cool. Ted Danson (of "Cheers" fame) plays the other roommate, actor Jack Holden, who is the father of the baby left on their doorstep by an awful British woman he used to bang. And it makes sense that he's the father, considering he pulls in slightly more tail than his lothario besties. Join us as we discuss mock Nancy Travis' awful acting, marvel at how this creepy sex romp and drug caper movie (that happens to have a baby in it) was somehow made by Disney, and as Keating scolds Jim for using the word "cute." Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com. This episode is sponsored by Grammy's Sleepytime Formula.  Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.