Podcasts about berate

Brad Crowell and guest co-host, Clare Solly, explore key insights from Lesley's conversation with Chriss Janssen, life coach and author of Grace Yourself: How to Show Up for the Sober Life You Want. They discuss how to stop tying happiness to outside approval, why adaptability fuels success, and the power of showing up despite perfectionism or setbacks. Listen in to learn how to refocus on commitments and sidestep self-sabotage.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Why linking happiness to others' approval sets you up for failureHow to be flexible in handling life's unexpected twists.Focusing on commitments instead of fleeting motivation.Adjusting rules to serve your outcome instead of hindering it.Remembering your 'why' when the going gets tough.Episode References/Links:Cambodia February 2025 Retreat - https://lesleylogan.co/retreatsCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.com Flashcards Waitlist - https://opc.me/flashcardwaitlistPilates Studio Growth Accelerator - https://prfit.biz/acceleratorLesley's Birthday Surprise - https://opc.me/birthdayChris Janssen Coaching – https://chrisjanssencoaching.comClare Solly – https://claresolly.com If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS!Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramThe Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channelFacebookLinkedInThe OPC YouTube Channel Episode Transcript:Brad Crowell 0:00  We should ditch the rule of "I'm measuring my happiness based on how people like me." Ditch the rule and just go after the outcome of "I'm going to be happy."Lesley Logan 0:13  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Brad Crowell 0:55  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, obviously, I'm Brad here today with a very special guest of ours who's stepping in for LL, Clare Solly, one of Lesley's best friends, who has been both a guest on the pod and been a recap host many times now, she's an author and actor. She's LL's slingshot friend, if you remember from Episode 19. She lives in New York City and generally kicks ass and takes names. Clare, welcome, welcome back.Clare Solly 1:23  Thank you. Thank you. The kicking ass list is very long these days, so I'm glad to be here. I'm so excited. I love this pod. And you know, long time listener and I'm always delighted to jump in.Brad Crowell 1:36  Well, thanks for doing that. Today, we're going to dig into the grounded conversation that LL had with Chris Janssen in our last episode. If you have not yet listened to that, feel free to pause this today, right now. Go back, listen to that, then come back and join us. Honestly, it's an incredibly heartfelt episode. She comes across as so kind and thoughtful.Clare Solly 1:56  Yeah, I just want to, like, get a blanket and snuggle in and, like, listen to her talk.Brad Crowell 2:00  Yeah, and I'm very intrigued by her book. I'm intrigued by her journey. It's worth going back checking that out. But before we get started today, we got a couple things. Clare, why don't you tell us about today? Clare Solly 2:12  WNational Word Nerditations, everyone, officially, Today is January 9th and it's National Word Nerd Day, which, if you know me in person, I totally am a word nerd. We celebrate National Word Nerd Day by enthusing about our favorite words, which is magnanimous and the importance of language in our culture, and whether you know what to say or always have a foot in your mouth, words are essential to success and progress, and word nerd day gives us the opportunity to learn some new words. So go flip to a page in the dictionary and find a word you don't know and celebrate Word Nerd Day.Brad Crowell 2:49  Yeah, I love that. I just typed what new word should I learn today? And (inaudible). Okay, okay, this is kind of funny. All right. Berate, this is Google's AI, berate, beseech, bestow, cease, butthurt. Really? I didn't know that was formally a word now. I thought it was two words. Apparently it's one word.Clare Solly 3:19  There you go. Learn something new everyday.Brad Crowell 3:21  Humblebrag, one word, apparently. I thought that was two words. Touch grass. That is two words, come on Google, fail, fail, fail. That's hilarious. I'm all about words myself. I think my vocabulary grew dramatically because I was a avid reader when I was a kid, and it's so funny. I just started listening to another book, and I had to slow it down because the author is on another level of words and our normal vernacular that we use all the time. I can listen to that at like, times two times three speed, and I can process the information, no problem. But I cannot listen (inaudible).Clare Solly 4:00  (inaudible) so you have to process at high rate of speed.Brad Crowell 4:04  But it's funny, because I had to slow it down to like, one five and I was like, man, it's been a long time since I listened to a book this slow, because he's using words that I have to think about before I can understand what he said. And then when you're trying to do that, you missed the next thing. I'm a big fan. I love it. I think reading will change all that. But before we get to Chris Janssen and we got a couple amazing things, here's what's coming up in the LL, the Brad future and the dogs here, although they don't get to join us for this first thing, we're going back to Cambodia in February. Clare Solly 4:34  Yay. Brad Crowell 4:36  Yeah, I'm so excited to just slip out of (inaudible) Lesley and I are gonna hop on a plane. We're gonna fly over there and prep everything for our upcoming retreat. We have an incredible group of amazing women coming with us, and one good man actually it's the son, so it's gonna be a mom-son coming. Yeah, that's gonna be really cool. And apparently he's a traveler, as it is, so I think mom's very excited that the two of them are gonna be able to share this trip together. But February is only, I think, five weeks away right now. There is still time to come. If that's something you're interested in doing. I know it's a bit short for an international trip to the other side of the world, so we have just made the announcement that Cambodia in October is also going to be happening, but it's only being announced to people who are on the waitlist. Since you're listening to this, and you might not be on the waitlist. I'm going to tell you how to find it. Go to crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com and you will actually see all the information on there. We are running a special offer. So if you're curious about what that actually looks like, it will be on the October retreat. There is a window for that, so don't wait. Go check that out right now. As you heard us talking about through November and December, Lesley was in Los Angeles doing the accessories, flash card deck photo shoot. And man, it was the journey. We crashed with some friends that were like five minutes away from the studio, and Lesley spent an entire week busting up the guillotine. I mean, it was crazy. All the things. We had some amazing photo shoots there, and it was a lot of fun. And we can't wait to share those with you on the upcoming deck that's going to be coming out during the summer, this summer, for the accessories flash card deck. It's the last one of six decks. Go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, and we'll give you the biggest hookup that we ever offer for people, only the people on the waitlist get the hook up on this, and it's a nice discount. So make sure you do that now. This is my world here. If you are feeling stuck in your Pilates business, I can't wait to share with you three massive secrets that Lesley and I have learned after coaching more than 2500 businesses, small businesses just like you over the past seven years, because Profitable Pilates just turned seven this month. I can't even believe that. Clare Solly 6:48  Wow. Brad Crowell 6:49  I'm now offering a webinar. It's been amazing to share this information and also just connect with additional Pilates business owners and fitness business owners. But if you're feeling stuck with your money, if you're feeling stuck with getting new clients, then come join me. This is a free webinar. Go to prfit.biz/accelerator. That's profit without the O, dot biz slash accelerator. And come join me for a free webinar. I'd love to meet you and see how we can support you in what you're trying to do. And then lastly, it's going to be Lesley's birthday at the end of this month. And as you all know, we always make a big deal out of it at the end of January. So stay tuned, because there might just be something special happening over at OPC. Join the countdown. Go to opc.me/birthday, and you'll be the first to get the big reveal. That's opc.me/birthday, but first and finally, before we get to Chris Janssen, Clare, we had an audience question, and the audience was an audience of one. It was the audience of Lesley, and she's like, I'm writing a question for Clare to answer. So what are your goals, and do you set them for 2025?Clare Solly 8:01  You know, it's hysterical. It's hysterical that she asked this question of me, and I feel like she sort of set me up to say it, because for years, she and I have talked about like we we don't make New Year's resolutions. We don't make goals. Brad Crowell 8:13  Clearly, she knew this. Clare Solly 8:14  We don't make resolutions, but we do, you know, we have, I think for me, like we used to say it was a goal, and now it's like a focus. I am trying to be more present in my life and just sit in my humanness and go, I'm here to live and to breathe them into experience and whatever. And I actually saw something at the very end of the year, and it was like, go get a jar and at the end of every week, write on a piece of paper, something good that happened to you this week, and then on New Year's Eve at the end of the year go through, or New Year's Day, go through and read all the things I'm not good.Brad Crowell 8:49  That's like the coolest advent calendar that isn't an advent calendar. Clare Solly 8:53  Right? I'm not necessarily good at doing, like, the weekly journal entries, or those ones where, like, you have a journal, where you, like, write a sentence every day for five years. Like, I always think that it's a good idea. And then, you know (inaudible).Clare Solly 9:04  But then in practice, life lives. Clare Solly 9:07  But I'm gonna put this on, like, in my kitchen so I see it every morning, or I'll make it my Sunday thing. I'll sit down and I'll write out, like, something good that happened. Like, I'll put it maybe an alarm in my calendar or something. Brad Crowell 9:18  That's what I was just gonna say. If it's not on my calendar. It does not happen. And then I also, I use Hey Siri all the time, and she's going to talk to me now, because I just said that, yep. I just say, you know, remind me. And you can make a reminder in your phone. You can make it a weekly, recurring thing. And I believe with the new release on iOS, it actually just inserts it into your calendar as well. Clare Solly 9:41  That'll be, yeah, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna try that. We'll see how it goes. You can have me back next January, and we'll talk about that. Brad Crowell 9:48  We'll keep you posted. That's really cool, because what an awesome tool. And here's what's cool about that, too. It doesn't have to just be like, Okay, throw those ones out and start next year's. You could actually keep those. You could put those, the way I'm imagining it, if you're putting them into a jar, then maybe they're on like, a long, thin piece of paper. You could eventually just put those into a book, you know, and then that could become your journal. Five years from now, you got five years of those once a week. You got 250 of them. I mean, what an amazing way to celebrate life.Clare Solly 10:21  And it's funny too, because it's like there are some things we go through day to day that are or week by week, that are little wins, or that feel like they were a gigantic thing this week. But like, you look back in hindsight and you're like, okay, great, I did that. Or you can't even remember when you did it, so I don't know. So now (inaudible). Brad Crowell 10:40  I just imagine passing that along years from now, you know. Like I'm thinking, what if my grandparents did that, you know? And I'm like, I've got this weird window until like 1953, you know, that could be really cool. Anyway, I love it. I think that's a really clever idea. I think the more that we.Clare Solly 11:00  Celebrate little things? Brad Crowell 11:02  I was gonna say New Year's resolutions just get me annoyed. We are fighting perfectionism, and I think that the new year's resolution sets us up for failure, because if life lives and something jacks up the week and you forgot to do the thing, what is the first inclination? Blame yourself. I fucked it up again. And instead of that, I feel like I like the guidelines or the goals, you know that aren't this like, I'm gonna start exercising every day. I'm gonna quit drinking for the month of January. I'm gonna whatever it is. I think when we set it as like this concrete thing, it ends up becoming just one more rule that we have to live by.Clare Solly 11:40  I mean, I think it's a nice idea, especially for those of us in the northern hemisphere where it's very cold and it's winter, we have nothing else to do but to like, focus on ourselves. But there's only so much nasal gazing, navel, I sound (inaudible).Brad Crowell 11:55  How do we gaze up our nasal? Clare Solly 11:57  Navel-gazing that you can do before it becomes like you're just picking at a scab and you're that perfectionist still trying to chip away, and it's like I am who I am at this point. And yes, there are things that could be tweaked, and there are ways I could be healthier, and there are ways that I could do better, but honestly appreciating who I am now. And we always say meeting someone else where they are, but meeting myself where I am right now. Like, let's go there, let's have that (inaudible) 2025 so.Brad Crowell 12:28  Hey I love that. That's a good New Year's resolution. Let's meet ourselves where we are. Clare Solly 12:32  Yeah. Brad Crowell 12:35  I love it. Okay, stick around. We'll be right back, and we're gonna get into Lesley's interview with Chris Janssen. Brad Crowell 12:42  All right, now let's talk about Chris Janssen. Chris Janssen is a life coach and author who specializes in assisting high-achieving perfectionists in navigating performance pressure, overcoming self-sabotage and rewriting personal narratives. Her second book, Grace Yourself: How to Show Up for the Sober Life You Want, offers practical tools and exercises to help individuals find meaning in life's uncomfortable events. Passionate about making transformation accessible. Chris guides people through the process of personal growth, empowering them to achieve the life they desire. I love it. Clare Solly 13:20  It was a great, great podcast, like I took so much away from it. So this is gonna, you know, buckle up, go back and listen to it again, like it was so good. One thing she said I really loved was high-achieving perfectionists attach meaning to life, to events and circumstances that are beyond our control. That, again, Lesley and I both claim to be recovering people-pleasers and perfectionists. So the fact that, yes, we attach so much, you know, we tried to go to the grocery store today, and instead we had to answer a phone call or family dropped over. You know, we just had holidays, right? So it's like, so many unexpected things happen, and then arguments arise, conversations arise, and you weren't necessarily ready to handle those because it was the holidays, and you just wanted to be like, happy and live through all that. Or we just talked about goals and resolutions, right? You set out to have a goal and a resolution and life lives, and you just can't stick with what new you know? Brad Crowell 14:24  Or something gets in the way and it blocks that is out of your control. And I think one of the things that Lesley said during the interview was really relevant to the people that we get to coach. She said that, okay, cool. Now my next goal is I'm gonna go out and get four new clients, and that's not in our control. We can certainly do all the things to put ourselves in a position to receive new clients and to connect with people, but we can't make the decision for them to actually be our client. Right? So if we're like, I didn't get four new clients, then you feel like a failure, but that shouldn't necessarily be the thing that, you know, like, what you can control is your messaging, the effort you put in getting it out there, putting yourself in the place where you're going to meet those people. You can control those things, but you can't control them being like, yes, right? Clare Solly 15:20  You can control your output and your reaction, but that's all you can control. Other people rolling around this life are having their own journey, and they have all their own life lifeing happening. I'm feeling that Brad, by the way.Brad Crowell 15:32  And timing is so much a part of it. Yeah, yeah, steal it out. Steal away. I don't know where what that, that just happened on the pod at one point, but I don't remember the specific moment. But yeah, I think, you know, there's a lot of shame and guilt associated with failure that isn't necessarily failure, because we can't control those things. So anyway, it's one of those things that we don't actually put our finger on very often, where we're like, hey, wait a minute. I don't have the final say in the events that have unfolded here, but we still blame ourselves for it. So I thought that was really profound, too. I really dug when she was talking about that we make it impossibly difficult to succeed in getting what we want, yet tragically easy to fail at getting what we want. So think about that. We make it impossibly difficult to succeed, yet tragically easy to fail at getting what you want. And she said, yeah, let's talk about happiness. So the rule you set for yourself is to be happy, and the way that you determine your happiness is that people will like you, if people like you, then you're going to be happy. Right? So this goes right back to what we were just talking about, you know, where we don't have control over it, in that the validation that we're looking for, the validation that we're trying to, to what we've defined as success, isn't available for us to lock down, right? That's like setting ourselves up for failure, exactly like she's saying here. We'll make it tragically easy to fail. If that's our measuring stick for being happy, then we're really screwed. But it's funny how often that we do that to ourselves. Chris said something that I wanted her to say, like, two or three more times in a row. Just say it over and over again. We should ditch the rule of, "I'm measuring my happiness based on how people like me." Ditch the rule, and just go after the outcome of, "I'm going to be happy." Right? And that's going to allow us to get all those other things out of the way. I mean, this could be success, right? Like sales, I have to keep selling. This could be again, clients. Our worthiness is determined based on the performance that we're doing or the people that we're helping. That's our measuring stick. What happens after you've taught Pilates for 50 years and you can't teach anymore? What does that mean for you at that point in your life? You know, it's so interesting. This comes down to identity, you know, and what we tie to how we define ourselves internally, and then something will change, you know, what if there's an accident and you can't be doing the things that you're doing anymore, or what if something comes through that changes?Clare Solly 18:24  Yeah. And sometimes we change. Sometimes we realize our dreams and our goals are not what we wanted to do. Lesley talks about this all the time, yeah. When I met her, she was going in a direction, and her life changed, and she realized she couldn't go in that direction anymore. And sometimes you can't base your happiness on that measuring stick, right? You have to be both flexible and focused at the same time, but the flexibility sometimes is more important and living life, seeing what rises up for you. Brad Crowell 18:55  Yeah, yeah, totally. Stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to dig into those Be It Action Items. All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. Say with me here. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from Lesley's convo with Chris Janssen? I'm gonna jump right in here. She said hey, stick to your commitments. Don't wait for motivation or inspiration. Commit to it. Get in action and just do it. There'll be seasons or days or times when we don't feel like showing up, but that's when we're going to show up anyway and stick to those commitments. So she's talking about sobriety, right? And one thing that I found was so powerful is she said, hey, the perspective needs to be flipped. It's not oh my god, I have to be sober now. Instead, it's, Oh, I get to be sober, you know? And I thought, wow, what an amazing way to look at it, because it gives you permission to be sober. In fact, it's a joy to be sober in that perspective. And when the challenge comes along of, oh, I wish I was drinking or I want to have a drink right now. Now, instead of it being a negative, oh, I just, I have to be fucking sober right now. Instead, it's a positive, no, no, I get to be sober, and that really will help you stick to your commitment. That was super powerful. Clare Solly 20:25  Yeah, I agree. I like that she mentioned focus on your commitments over your craving. So focus on what you want in life. Focus on what you are trying to get and trying to get to. You know, not necessarily that end goal, but what does today look like, and to tweak the tactics and not the goal. So how do I get from point A to B if I can't use the bridge? How do I drive from my house to the grocery store if I can't get to the bridge? Or how? How can I get from the job that I'm in now to being a Pilates instructor without sacrificing my entire life, you know, again, or sobriety, like we have many, many, many options here. Also, I just want to flag. I love that she has been not sober once, but twice. And I love when people come forward with these stories, that we as humans can just sit there in humanness and not necessarily have to live the life that she did, but understanding through her failure, and then reading this book or hearing her talk, and just realize we we don't have to go backwards. Just keep going for I like that she used the word grit, too. Just keep pushing through and get to where you need to go. And whether that's you've experienced it yourself, you're listening to somebody else's experience something parallel to what you're living in. And love that. And I love that. She said something else too, that it's a small shift to get to where you need to be extraordinary. So just loved this. Loved it. Brad Crowell 21:48  I like how these two things kind of go together. It's almost like this yours is like the step before sticking to the commitment. If understanding the permission structure and the framing structure helps you stick to your commitments. Then when that challenge comes along and you're focused on your craving, I want this thing. I need this thing. Or my perfectionism, I have to have it perfectly correct. There is still a moment in there. We have to identify that you're in that moment. And that's when she says, Hey, you have to focus on your commitments. And it's easier to focus on your commitments if you also understand why you're doing it. You mentioned that she was sober two times. When she got sober, the first time, she said, well, there wasn't this rock bottom of like, oh my God, everything exploded. She said, I felt like I needed to do this, and I had kids coming, and that was a enough of a catalyst to make it happen. But then 14 years later, when her kids were in their teens, she was like, I can't really remember why I got sober, because it wasn't this like explosive event in her world that blew everything up. And then when she decided to drink again, that's actually when things went down pretty hard, and she said she did have a rock bottom, and fortunately, she, you know, has someone in her life who was able to support her through that, her spouse, but she said focusing on her why? Yeah, probably would have kept her from choosing to drink again in the 14 years later, because she had forgotten the sparkle of the why that moment. You know, I think that's also another amazing thing that will help you stick to your commitments, is focusing on your why. Brad Crowell 21:49  So, listen, y'all, we think you're amazing. Thanks so much for being here today. I'm Brad Crowell. Clare Solly 22:35  And I'm Clare Solly. Brad Crowell 22:57  Thanks so much for joining. If you want to hear more from Clare, follow her at claresolly.com, that's C-L-A-R-E-S-O-L-L-Y.com. We're so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending a DM to the pod on Instagram, or leave us a comment on YouTube, or just text us, and we will catch you in the next episode. And don't forget to Be It Till You See It. Clare Solly 24:02  Bye.Lesley Logan 24:04  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 24:47  It's written, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 24:52  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 24:56  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 25:03  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 25:07  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for October 6, 2024 is: berate • bih-RAYT • verb To berate someone is to angrily scold or criticize them, often loudly and at length. // “Don't berate yourself over canceling plans,” his friend told him. “Sometimes you just need to take care of yourself.” See the entry > Examples: “The autonomous vehicles, which provide tens of thousands of rides each week, have been torched, stomped on, and verbally berated in recent months.” — Paresh Dave, WIRED, 22 July 2024 Did you know? People have berated things—and each other—for time immemorial, but the word berate has only been known to English users since the mid-1500s. Before that, if you wanted to angrily rebuke, say, an outlaw for impersonating a fortune teller in order to steal the golden hubcaps off your royal carriage, you would rate them. Berate simply added the prefix be- to the existing verb rate, which is distinct from the rate that means “to value or esteem.” While the more familiar rate comes ultimately from Latin, the origins of the less common “scolding” rate are obscure.

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Diese Folge enthält eine Diskussion zwischen Danny Herzog-Braune und Dr. Ali Shariba über neurowissenschaftlich fundiertes Coaching. Sie diskutieren die Rolle des Unbewussten, den Zugang zum Unbewussten über den Körper, und die Bedeutung von Beziehungen im Coaching. Dr. Shariba teilt ihre persönliche Entwicklung, ihre intensive Auseinandersetzung mit dem Thema in der Wissenschaft, in der Praxis und durch Selbsterfahrung. Sie spricht auch über ihre Beziehung zu ihrem Doktorvater, dem renommierten Professor Dr. Dr. Gerhard Roth, und die Bedeutung der integrativen Herangehensweise im Coaching. Die Diskussion beinhaltet auch eine Begriffsklärung zu verschiedenen therapeutischen Ansätzen und deren Wirksamkeit. Über Ihr Buch: Coaching und Beratung in der Praxis: Ein neurowissenschaftlich fundiertes Integrationsmodell Wie kann ich meine Klienten dabei unterstützen sich dauerhaft zu verändern?Welche Methoden sind aus neurobiologischer Sicht wirksam? Wie kann integrative Beratung gelingen? Mit diesen grundlegenden Fragen beschäftigen sich die Autoren dieses praxisorientierten Werkes. Führende Experten aus den Bereichen Coaching und Psychotherapie stellen ihre aus neurobiologischer Sicht wirksamen Methoden vor. Dieses Buch versteht sich als praxisorientierte Fortsetzung des erfolgreichen Grundlagenwerks »Coaching, Beratung und Gehirn«. Die dort dargelegten theoretischen Grundlagen werden hier für die praktische Arbeit umsetzbar gemacht. Dadurch entsteht ein erstes integratives Coachingmodell, welches neurobiologische Grundlagenkenntnisse mit hohem Praxisbezug verbindet. Unter anderem erläutert das Buch folgende Punkte anschaulich: • Diagnostik in der Beratung • Beziehungsgestaltung mit dem Klienten • Coachingansätze und ihre Wirkungsweisen • Wirksamkeit und Wirkfaktoren von Coaching • Integratives Beratungsmodell • Zahlreiche Tools, Übungen und Fallbeispiele

Rachel Bernstein LMFT, MSEd discusses what it's like working with survivors from high-control groups. This episode is for survivors looking for a mental health professional or for mental health professionals looking to work with the demographic of survivors of cults, high-control groups, and spiritual abuse. University of SalfordTranscript (Transcript is unedited for typos and misspellings)Katherine: Hello. How are you doing today?Rachel: I am doing really good. How are you doing today? Katherine: I am good. I am a little tired. I went to a midnight book release. On Monday nights, and I don't ever stay up that late, and I'm still sleeping.That was a new thing for me. I was like, this is what teenagers do. These are not what people who are almost 40 do. But it was fun. It was a fun experience. I'm glad. Very excited to talk to you today. I know you have indoctrination podcast, and you do a lot of different work with a lot of different clients, but the particular demographic that I would [00:01:00] love to talk to you about is the demographic of folks who've And cults or high control experiences.And I would love to hear from you, what prompted you to work with this demographic and what was the story that led you to working with this type Rachel: of client? Nice. Okay. So there's so much to this story. I'll try not to make it overly long, but Okay, great. No, go for it. Tell, tell, tell whatever. It's slightly long, longer than it needs to be, not overly.Right. Huh. Right. So, When I was growing up, my, one of my siblings who was eight years older got. Kind of a new friend through a friend, and they started hanging out a lot. Next thing we know, she's not really spending time at home. She has taken the money out of her [00:02:00] account and it's gone.Which she had really worked hard for. In my family, we were supposed to work from when we were young. If we needed cash for anything, even to go to the movies, well, you need to earn it. You know, it was like that. So it, you know, we didn't take spending lots of money all at once lightly. Cause we know how much we had worked to make it and suddenly liquidated gone.And she was speaking differently. She was acting in a very kind of in your face way. And we're like, what is going on? So then she said that she has this friend of a friend who's introduced her to this place. It's called Scientology. Got it. And and it's a church, but we're a Jewish family, but it's not a church church.That would, that became a line in our family forever. It's not a church church. Like what? I'm sorry. It's not a church church, but it's not. So. Because there really wasn't the idea of a word cult that was known at the time, and this was in the 70s. So there [00:03:00] was no one to call. There were no resources that, you know, the books out there at the time before the interwebs, the, the books were written by cult leaders.Like there were L. Ron Hubbard novels out there about Dianetics and his science fiction books, but nothing about what is Scientology and that it is a cult. And the, the cult books that were out there too, were more about like working with POWs who had been indoctrinated and watching the Manchurian candidate and are like, yeah, fit, but not.So the turning point was. And I learned a lot about this. My, my parents responded different ways to stressful events. My mom was more of a kind of in your face, you have to stop this right now, finger pointing. I mean, that, that does sometimes come in handy, right? And my father instead was the, let me link arms with this person, see what they like about it, see what's interesting to them.But also I want to ask my questions about what I'm concerned about. So, They had tension and [00:04:00] she had tension with my parents and she said this group is going to teach me how to get along better with, with all of you. And And my friend said she's gotten along better with her parents since she's gotten involved.And so my father, in a very nice way, said could we call her parents and find out? Like, if this really has helped, then I'll say, okay. And she got the number of this person and their parents and the parents said, in this kind of panic tone, where did you see our daughter? Whoa. Right? That was a whoa.And my dad goes, what do you mean? We haven't, we don't know where she is. She left home six months ago and she said for the last six months she's been getting along better with her parents. She hasn't seen them. So this is the way the group defined getting along better, right? No contact. Katherine: No contact. Rachel: Cut them off.Oh my. That actually startled my sister. She didn't know. She didn't know [00:05:00] that's what that meant. I'm sorry. And she tried to get her money back. That was impossible, but. That you could see the personality change right away, and you could see that being in your face and she was having problems with her friends at school for the first time, too, because she was learning other ways of communicating the Scientology way of communicating, which is very in your face.So that became dinner table conversation. How can this happen that people can just take over someone's mind and convince them that something is true. That's really not true. That's totally the opposite of what is true. And then. Because I then was raised hearing about this and that there are many groups that do their recruiting also on college campuses, and they use front names, I then went to college, and I saw it.I saw these groups with their front names that I had learned, and they're at the student union, you know, passing out their pamphlets having people join, taking them on weekends, the bus picked up in front of my dorm, and I remember, because I was now cult educated, [00:06:00] I said to these people, Where are you going?And they said, Oh, we're going on a church weekend. What church is it? We don't know. Really? You don't know. And where are you going? Well, we're going to the mountains. I go, you know, that's not a place like mountains are these geographical structures and geological entities. That's not a place. Do you know where you're going?Is there going to be a phone there? Like, how are you going to leave? And they just thought I was being a drag. And I remember the leaders coming on the bus and asking me who I was and why I was harassing the people who were going. But I thought some of them are going to be dropping out of school after this and needing to show their devotion to this group and not school because that's what would happen.Suddenly these people were gone. Yeah. And then. So there are just two more parts of this story, and it really is, this is a shorter version. When I then went on to grad school to become, to, to become a therapist, to learn [00:07:00] counseling, there was a, a group therapy course where you learn to do group therapy that turned out to be run like a cult.The leader of it, who was the teacher, used, utilized almost every technique of influence and manipulation. And that was just her personality and I did a social experiment in that class, which was interesting because I noticed. This was the year before my dad passed away the year before I broke up with my boyfriend the year before my favorite dog passed away like I was just on the cusp of going through lots of trauma.Yeah, but until then life had been okay, but we were supposed to share our traumas. And if we didn't have trauma to share like if we hadn't gone through abuse or something, we were withholding, we were being resistant to the process. And then I could see people folding like I could see them making stories up just to be liked.And then they would be hugged by the people in the group. Thank you for [00:08:00] trusting us with your trauma and with your, with your past. So people were just crafting stories to please the teacher. I thought, wow, this is happening in a therapy class. I remember talking to my Dean about that. He was actually a little alarmed and I did one of my, I did my dissertation on what happened in that class for that school.That was controversial. But then I, I thought, you know, I want to do this work because there were so few resources for people and. I, yes, I want to do general counseling. I still do some general counseling, but about 80 percent of the counts counseling I do is former cult stuff. And then I start that they were looking for a clinician at a place called the cult clinic in Los Angeles, which was effectively shut down by Scientology.But that was my first taste of harassment, Scientology harassment, which did scare me. I mean, they had. discredited LAPD officers that they hired to harass people to follow people. They were scary, [00:09:00] scary mofos, if I can say. Leaning on my car when I'd come out of the office following me home sending people into poses clients.And I get this note saying, just to let you know, we're watching and listening and thought, what the hell is this? And so I remember staying home for about a week, my father had passed about a year before this, and suddenly I heard his words, which were, you can't let the bullies win. That was his way of looking at the world like you cannot let the bullies win.And I thought, Okay, but I need a week. I just have a week. I'm like talking to him wherever he is. He's already passed. And I had to get myself together and See what my rights were. Yes, we're not. Take a little break, right? Yes, we're not letting them win, but I do need a break. I need a break, because they're outside my house, and I need to know if I'll be protected.I need to contact the police. And then I went back to work, and I thought, what I'm dealing with in terms of harassment is only slightly what former Scientologists deal [00:10:00] with. And other people from other groups. They're pretty intense. Yeah. Scientologists are very intense. Really intense. Katherine: Stopping them is intense, right?Mm hmm. Rachel: Yeah, yeah. They've complained to my board many times to try to have my license taken away. They, they're no nonsense, but it's what happens to me and to a couple of my, you know, colleagues. And, and I think to me, especially because where I started doing my work, my counseling was very close to the Scientology buildings in Hollywood.So I started working with a lot of Scientologists and have continued working with them. So they don't like me, but okay. So that's, that's sort of how I got started in this. So yeah. And then how many years would you say Katherine: that this has been like the folks? Is it kind of been from the Rachel: beginning? Yeah, it's been since I've been doing counseling.It's been 32 years and it's morphed over time in that before it really was. It was, I thought this was fascinating. [00:11:00] This was a human rights issue to me, especially the way in a lot of these groups that women were treated and children were treated or mistreated, neglected and, and then over time it morphed to include now people who have been in relationships with narcissists because I would do a talk on cults or something and someone would call me and say, that sounds like my husband.Oh, what do you mean? And I kind of learned from people responding to my words about cult saying, no, that was my family that or that was my relationship. So I realized to now with. You know, with political landscape and so many people having polarized views of things and group think that I think is very scary.That's happening right now in the world to that I care about this on a micro level and also macro that. As the descendant of Holocaust survivors, I'm, I care a lot about group think and how people can be, kind of, how you get to Katherine: that place. It Rachel: doesn't Right. Caught up into a ffr, the [00:12:00] torch and pitchfork way of Right.And then also still on the micro person by person listening to what they've been through and trying to help them individually. Katherine: Mm-Hmm. Two, two observations. First of all. I noticed that when you were talking to those people who were getting on this bus to go to the quote unquote mountains, and that your father's approach to your sister, a lot of questions, there was like a lot of asking questions and I sure I'm sure we'll get into that.In just a minute, but I, I noticed that and then also I do appreciate that you address the fact that like a narcissistic relationship can have that similarity because I feel like I know like in the world that I work in, we have a much better, a broader. view of like what a cult can be, what a high control relationship can be, and what a high control religion can be.But most folks [00:13:00] still think of a cult as like something happening in a bunker somewhere, or out in the desert, and Expanding what that can be and what that high control relationship can be. And there are so many people who experienced that, but then have that very, just invalidating experience of like, nobody knows what this is like.It feels like a cult, but I can't call it a cult because it doesn't look like this. And, and so I appreciate that. You made that connection between that narcissist and that cold, cold experience. The impact can be very, very similar. Rachel: The impact is very similar.I think because not every cult is run by a narcissist. Some really are. You know, they have their delusional disorder and they get people into this diagnosis that is called fully I do, which is shared psychosis. Like they invite people who are maybe vulnerable to that way of thinking into their psychosis, but by [00:14:00] and large, I'd say a good 90 percent of cult leaders have a narcissistic bent.And so then. Whether it's your partner, your parent, even your child, there's some people who contact me because their children are narcissistic and run their life. Because that it's the same disorder that's prompting it, you're going to have similar techniques. Like they've read the same manual. It's kind of amazing.And, and then when you have similar techniques of, of manipulation, gaslighting, all of it, you're going to have similar outcomes. So it could be a one on one situation or it could be hundreds of thousands of people. Katherine: Yeah, and that can be helpful for someone who is recovering from that type of relationship, like even looking for someone who has the high control experience when they are looking for a mental health professional.Right. That would be maybe not necessarily just a narcissistic relationship, but someone who has that experience might be able to relate with that a little more. One of the things that's unique about your story is you didn't get into [00:15:00] this demographic because you had a personal experience being in a cult.So I think that's really unique. I feel like everyone that I know who gets into this demographic also had an experience. In it makes your story very unique to me, but then also, what are some things that you have learned over the years from your clients about what they need for Rachel: recovery? Right. It's a great question.So yes. And it, it is unique that I haven't. Been in one myself, and I think that's why I work almost equally with the families and friends of people who are in situations like this or in relational situations like this and have a webinar for them too, because I was. One of those, like being on the outside, needing to figure out how to have these conversations, how to manage the anxiety that comes up when you see your loved one getting slowly stolen away from you.And you don't [00:16:00] know what this forces that's on them and how to. See if you can get them back and if it's even possible and learning about the ways to communicate that are in a kind of counterintuitive way that are specific for this has been something I noticed from my own family, but also now for further doing this work and learning about that.So, right. I mean, what. People need. It's interesting when you talk about doing this kind of counseling for the people specifically who were in situations like this, whether it is a cult or a relationship that took over their life, multi level marketing, abusive teen treatment place, whatever it was, or is, or having been with a therapist who was dangerous, which I talk about a lot.I, well, it's unconscionable to me. To use that power in that way makes me mad. And so there are, [00:17:00] there are some things that. Are really important. I think for specifically when people are coming out of this, they need to know that they're believed because so often they're made to feel that they're exaggerating the story or they didn't get it right.That's part of the gaslighting that they can't trust the evidence of their senses and how they are deciphering what happened. And they also will often underplay it. And really downgrade how much they've been traumatized because it wasn't supposed to be seen that way in the group like you're supposed to just deal with being abused, or you're, it's for your benefit.You're supposed to be appreciative of being treated that way, being selected for something that turned out to be abusive. So. Abuse, neglect get underreported a lot of the time by people who leave. And what helps is defining for them what they've been through. Like, Oh, [00:18:00] that actually is abuse. That's why you're having nightmares.That's why you break into a cold sweat when you hear someone who has similar voice to the person who did that to you. I want you to understand yourself and your reactions, and you'll only understand it if you know what happened to you. And also that it wasn't your fault. That you didn't bring it in, that it wasn't because of you.Because, you know, within a cultic system, as you know, anything that's good that happens to you is because of the leadership. Anything that's bad is because of you. Katherine: And because you didn't Rachel: follow the leadership. Right, because you didn't follow the leadership. You, or you weren't feeling it in your heart or whatever, whatever it is, it's always back on you.So to be able to have a clear sense of who the culprit is, and you can take it off of you is also a really important thing. It's also good for people to understand that they have strengths, that they have capabilities. That they can live in the world and be successful at it, even [00:19:00] though they have been told that they don't have these strengths and these capabilities and to have them understand why they were convinced of that and how that fed the.Need of the leader to have you be dependent on them and to never want to leave because you don't feel equipped to be in the world. I think helping people understand why they were taught what they were taught and how it wasn't for them. It was right. It was for the control that the leader or the group needed to have over them.That's really helpful just to understand the source and the reasoning for the things they were taught as truths about them. And I think it's really helpful to connect people with other people. That's why I run a support group. So people don't feel isolated and alone. And I will often talk to people about how they They are having trouble relaxing and resting because when you're in a cult, you're going, going, going, you're doing, doing, doing, you learn that you matter the [00:20:00] least and you don't have to sleep.And it's fine if you're not eating and you're, you're supposed to somehow be devoted to the cause. And I try to shift that in my counseling work. So people know they are also the cause that it's important for them to take care of them. And that that's not selfish and it's not being lazy and it's not having pride.It's not all the other things that it's called when you care about you. And that you have to be a good steward of the self in order to then do work that you might want to do that's in service of others, but it needs to happen in that order. And there's nothing wrong with you for doing it in that order.And I also, I guess I want people to know that the world outside is actually not going to be as scary and not going to be as critical and not going to be as gossipy, like they'll have more privacy. There, there aren't people who are going to give them a hard time about everything. I have Clients who [00:21:00] panic if they're running even 30 seconds late for a session, or they come on to a zoom call a little bit late, or they come to the group a little bit late.I'll sometimes see them in the waiting area on zoom and then they're gone. They're missing. And I realized they're panicking because they're sure. That I'm going to give them a hard time and I'm going to berate them for not showing their allegiance to this group and not showing that it matters enough for them to be there on time, all the things that they went through in their cultic group.And they're also They've expressed to me they're worried about not showing up for the group because when they didn't go to things, that's when they were talked about in their absence and waited and given a hard time. So they were afraid of walking back into what suddenly felt like an unsafe. Situation.So I let people know we do not talk about you. And if someone does want to talk about you while you're not here, if it's something positive, like, oh, it's so [00:22:00] nice to meet that woman last time. And I hope she comes back. That's fine. And I'll be happy to tell you about that. But, you know, someone who just wants to.Berate. Not allowed, not allowed. So it always needs to feel safe. You just, if they're doing this work and learning from people and what makes them so anxious and you just see how much they've been mistreated and how much they've been under a microscope that has been so unfair to them and has made them so tense and so worried needlessly.Katherine: Absolutely. So I heard you say. Believe them. Let them know that you believe their story. I heard you say, give them like language to name what happened and then validate even that it was like a big deal, like naming it as abuse or naming it as as gaslighting. I heard you say, help them access.Like the internal [00:23:00] resources that they have and access their own, you didn't say the word power, but their own, their own resources, their own internal resources reframe things. So learning that like outside world is not scary and, and just having that, like a lot of like compassion for. The trauma that results in anxiety or fear or mistrust or anything like that.All like super, super, super important things. And I just think about like your support groups and like the courage that it takes for someone to show up to something like that when they have, a lot of times it is a group. Right. That happened in the first place. And that can be very scary, yet such a huge part of the recovery process to be able to engage with a group again.And yeah. Oh yeah. Again, Rachel: very, very important. Yeah. There are people also who. [00:24:00] Have been in support groups that have really, really been unhealthy. And also ones where they dealt with being in a treatment center that were kind of patterned. Well, they took off from Synanon, which started this this horrible practice.It was a cult in California started a whole horrible practice of something called the game where. You are supposed to berate people in a group. You're supposed to shout at them, call them things. They would sometimes need to grovel, like walk around on, on their hands and knees to show that they were they knew they were less than or they needed to wear a sign around them, around their neck that would say something.It could say whore, could say anything and whatever they may have been labeled that day. I mean, it was, so it was attack. Therapy. I don't even want to call it therapy. And so people coming out of that have interesting reactions when I do counseling with them. [00:25:00] And, and what is one of the reactions that's kind of sad is that some of them think that I don't care about them because I'm not shouting at them.Translation. I get that Katherine: though. I, I totally get that. Yeah. Rachel: Yeah. Right. That was the justification for someone being cruel. Like, no, this is for your benefit. And so I remember one person saying, I don't know if this is going to work because you've never raised your voice, but it's like someone raised by an abusive parent, you know, like this is how I show you that I care.It's, oh, it's such a perversion of how it should be. Katherine: No, absolutely. No. And I, I mean that I'm remembering how like I migrated to someone who was like a known abusive pastor in the evangelical world is Mark Driscoll. And I remember migrating to him as a leader because he yelled from the pulpit and because he was so angry from the pulpit.And I had without realizing it been conditioned to see [00:26:00] that a strong, trustworthy leadership in it. I was like very just Very disorienting when I realized that that happens and that I like read into that anger as good leadership. It totally, totally, really. Rachel: Okay. Yeah, it's really terrible. And people get that they, they then wind up sometimes in relationships with people who are really mistreating them because.That was translated as love. That's another thing to define. Like, what is love? And what can that look like in a relationship? And what are rights? I mean, I remember one time, I, I was flown to Texas to help with the, the raid, which had already taken place on the FLDS compound. And I, I don't like raids, even though I've worked with a lot of people who did feel traumatized by [00:27:00] them, but also relieved knowing that there were people out there who cared about what was happening behind closed doors.Like it's very mixed thing. So I wasn't involved in all planning it, but they asked me to come in to, to help to train the social workers who were working with the people who had been taken off the camp compound even temporarily. And they were talking to these women or young, well, they're really still girls who are these sister wives about rights, that they had rights.And they were looking blankly and and they said, they, they don't seem to believe us that they have rights. I said, They don't know what rights are. We have to go back. We have to teach them that there are these things that are called rights. That, that there is things called boundaries, that you have the right to say no or to control your body.But that's not true in their group. So they're not gonna believe you that they have these rights. They probably don't even know that there's this thing called a constitution. Mm-Hmm. . [00:28:00] That says that they have rights that are legally protected. And they don't even Katherine: have a Rachel: concept for it. Right. And that if they were to impose those rights, they would be abused or they would be kicked out.And so it's not safe for them to have them. So we can't jump in assuming that they've had the same life and same education and same exposure. Like we have to educate them about the fact that these things exist. And that maybe that will help them leave at some point, knowing that these things exist, but only outside the compound.Katherine: Absolutely. Absolutely. And I know that. You and I probably come from the same position of just because someone has a credential doesn't make them someone as as you as you discovered with these social workers doesn't make them equipped to work with this demographic. But if someone were to be interested in working with this demographic and wanted to.Equip themselves and get the resources to be able to work with this demographic. [00:29:00] What would you point them to and what would you direct them to? And what are some recommendations for things that they could pursue to become equipped? Rachel: Okay. I think it's a great thing. And yes, just because someone has, has initials after their name doesn't make them healthy people.And I have seen that and I've seen it for people who have dealt with abuse at the hands of psychiatrists who have an MD and You know have these very advanced degrees, but they have a disorder that makes them totally misbehave. So, and, and there are people who don't have credentials who I think have been great.So it's still buyer beware, unfortunately, even it's, it's important just to be a smart spiritual consumer and a smart therapeutic. consumer. I think what people also need to know is that now there are a lot of people who are running what they're calling support groups, and they're not necessarily credentialed people.And some run a lovely group, but they're not quite sure what to [00:30:00] do when there is an issue. And they'll sometimes call me like this happened and then someone felt ganged up on and we started talking about someone. Thinking it would be helpful, but then they felt traumatized and like, it can go down kind of a rabbit hole if there isn't someone who's had training in how to run a support group.So you want to go to someone who's had training and also there are people who have left cults who will sometimes run them as cults. That's how they manage, right? That's what they know. Yeah. And then there's a group of favorites and that, you know, and they feel, they know it and other ones are feeling ostracized.It's very culty and they're feeling judged. So see how you feel. Know that if you get involved in a group, that's not your only option. You can go shopping around, don't owe them anything. You don't have to keep coming back if it doesn't feel safe. There is, this needs to be part of. The curriculum for social work schools.Katherine: Oh, my gosh. Yes, right. It does because it's [00:31:00] so common. Rachel: It's it's so common. I'm sure you've had the experience. And if you talk about this issue, invariably, when I'm out somewhere and someone asked me what I do, there's at least one other person who's going to say, Oh, yeah. I was in something or my family member was like, it happens so frequently now that I think it should be curriculum and for people who are learning to to become therapists of any sort.It's just really not, and it's still not seen as something really as important as it should be. I've, I've taught a class at. USC about how to run support groups for people who have been abused in groups. But it's just, they'll invite you with just that Katherine: extra awareness of like, they're coming into this and they're instantly going to feel anxious because and just that extra layer of awareness that someone who has never had that experience would have no idea that someone would come in to that Rachel: environment.No, right. It's it is. It's a niche. And and I'm [00:32:00] just I'm asked when I'm asked, but most of the time not because they have other things that they think are more important to teach them and maybe they are. But still, this happens. And so the there is a program out of England run by Colleagues of mine who are lovely and wonderful have had a lot of experience.It's through the University of Salford and I think you can take courses online. It's a master's in coerce coercion and coercive control. And It teaches you about what that is. I don't know to what degree it teaches you to do the counseling piece, but it is a master's in it. So you have a good framework for understanding it.And it's new few years old, and I there need to be more programs like it. But I think If people want to go to conferences, or if they want to attend like the International Cultic Studies Association conference online, where there is a section that is [00:33:00] for professionals, how you do this work, I do some lectures on it, how you also do interventions how they're different than regular interventions and, Yeah, just understanding the nuanced differences in this work is important and to understand why those things are important.So I think attending conferences, if you want to learn reading some books, I'm in the process of writing one that is going to be about my counseling work. So hopefully that will be out soon. I hope. And, and. It will be a little bit more of like a how to this is what happened to this person. And this is how I thought to help them.And because that's missing out there. So, yeah, so I think this program in England and also attending workshops at This at the International Cultic Studies Association Conference, which is yearly, is a good place to start. And and then reading books, you know, from people who are professionals who are talking about how they do this [00:34:00] work.I, because again, there were so few resources I really have learned most of what I've learned. From my clients really taking notes, like, okay, that worked better than this. And why understanding it. And, you know, we've been a learner of the Katherine: people that you're working with. And that sounds like that's part of your story is you learned from the actual people that you were working with.And, and that can be, I think, really empowering to, I think, for someone on the client side of. This person maybe doesn't understand, but they are, they want to understand and Rachel: they want it. I mean, now I can come in feeling that I have an expertise, which is great, but I also come in with enough humility to know I don't know everything, which is a really important thing for someone who's been involved in the cult to see that someone coming in, who seems to have this position of authority is saying.I'm open to you teaching me. Katherine: [00:35:00] Absolutely. Absolutely. Rachel: And I'm open to being wrong. I'm not an actor on you. Right. Exactly. I can know about cults, but I don't know you. And I don't know what's going to work for you. Some of this is going to be trial and error. I'm not going to punish you or, you know, I'm not going to stop treating you because something I provided for you turned out to not be the best thing for you.And you let me know that I'll be happy that you let me know that so we can fine tune it for you. But yeah, that dialogue does not happen. Katherine: In the cold, like, yeah, like you have something to offer here that I don't have and like having that kind of relationship when you don't know and when it isn't your expertise, but it is something that you're interested in for something for someone who is.And I, I mean, I encounter this so often just with like [00:36:00] my clients and it typically comes up even just in their first initial consultation of trying therapy and admitted and immediately realizing it's not helping and it's not the person doesn't get them and doesn't understand and then. to have to go through the process of finding someone, you know, when you're, when you're traumatized and when you're exhausted and we're just trying to figure things out, what are some guidelines that you can give to someone who is looking for a mental health professional to help them that they can maybe look for just immediately when they.Look on someone's website and questions that they can ask during the consultation to kind of help them narrow down someone who might be able to Rachel: help. Right. So first, you know, I think you and I are going to be equally reactive to going onto people's websites who seemed who, [00:37:00] who are trying to come across.Like they have the answer. They are the one. And they need to be talking all about their credentials and how they can provide something that no one else can. That is a huge red flag because they're never also typically going to be able to admit that they were wrong because they know it all. So if it feels collaborative, collaborative.Like we will work together to help you get to where you want to go that kind of language. Like, I'm going to hold your hand while we kind of muddle through this together. I can offer what I know, but this is something that, you know, I'm not going to be coming in and I'm going to be the expert and you have to listen to everything I say.And so, yes, if it has that kind of we're working together language. And that I'm open to hearing, and I want to understand you so that I can help you. That is, it's nice that you get to be, as the former member or the person who's been through this, you get to be the expert in [00:38:00] that space too, because you know your story.And you know what you feel, you intuit that you need, and you want a therapist to be open to that. It's also important for people to notice when they first start going to a therapist, if they get the sense that they have to make a commitment for a certain amount of time. That is something I think people should not necessarily agree to cause then you're locked in and then if you decide that it really isn't working for you, you might feel like you have to keep coming back because you're of that mindset of you made a commitment and you have to stick with your commitments, but it only matters if it's helping you.And so you want it to be open ended. you want to be careful to, to not work with a therapist who keeps changing the subject. Like if you really want to talk about your cult experience or the manipulation that you went through or something that's specific to your experience and the therapist just isn't trained [00:39:00] in that.And instead of saying, you know what, you have a book that would be good, or maybe I'll do some research or cause I have. Katherine: Right. Rachel: And I've had therapists contact me and say, listen, I'm not telling you, I want you to meet with my client. We have a good relationship, but I don't know about this. Can you guide me on this?And can you give me some resources? I really value that. I think that's really wonderful. So if the therapist is open to learning so that they don't keep just kind of ignoring when you bring it up, cause it's not their expertise and saying, well, now let's just talk about your mother. Or whatever, like the usual suspect.No. And you want a therapist who honors your boundaries. And if you have a therapist who asks you questions and you don't know if you want to share so much information about yourself, even though in the cult you've been trained to share everything with anyone at all times, because you have to If a therapist says, actually, that's, I'm, I'm kind of glad that you're saying [00:40:00] no, because you don't really know me yet and you don't feel comfortable talking and you don't know how I'm going to respond to your information.That's good, then that's safe. And so what can I do, I'll ask my clients is what can I do to provide a feeling of safety here for you to let you know that I'm going to handle what you tell me. In a healthy way and something that would feel safe for you. There are therapists and I've told people this. If you have a therapist who tells you, who uses either of these two words, which are like nails going down a chalkboard for me, resistance and withholding.Katherine: If they tell you that Rachel: you are resisting or you're being resistant to this process or you're withholding information from them. Right. Just because you're saying, yeah, I don't know if I feel like force. Yes. Yes. Katherine: And it also indicates that they're almost taking offense. that the client doesn't trust them.And someone who is aware of this experience will know it is going [00:41:00] to take a lot for this client to trust me. So I'm not going to force them and I'm not going to push them. I'm going to let them lead. And how much they want to share and even just say that, Ooh, I felt my internal haunches. Yes. Wow. Rachel: Right. And you, and that somehow the client also was told they need to make a commitment to this work. That this work is the thing that's going to change them. But that is just filled with too much ego and too much stress. And just let the person be and let them breathe and let them bring snacks.Just let them relax. Right. Katherine: . Maybe don't sip a glass of wine, but having a cup of tea is fine. Exactly. Yeah. I remember one one thing that I think my therapist said that felt me helps me feel really safe was I had mentioned sexual abuse pretty early on in our, our therapeutic relationship together.[00:42:00] And it was probably a good year before I was like talking about something else. And she was like a while back, you mentioned the sexual abuse. There's a chance that that has some you know, impact on what's happening here. Like, would you mind sharing about that a little more? And so I did. And then at the end of the session, she said, Do you want to bring this up again, like if it feels important to you or do you want me to ask you about it?Like, would you prefer to bring it up or would you prefer for me to ask you about it? And that just felt, I just felt very empowered with that. And just like, she was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave this in your hands. If you want to bring it up again and you want to talk about it, we will. If you. Want me to ask you about it?I can do that as well. And it just felt, you know, just very, it felt very empowering and it, and it definitely created a sense of safety for me. And I've [00:43:00] definitely like implemented that in, in with my own clients too. Just like, is this, is this something that you want to talk about more or do you want to just wait and bring it up?Later when you're ready and you just giving, yeah, just empowering the client and when they have been so disempowered and teaching them little ways that you're allowed to take this back, you're allowed to take this voice back. That's great. That is great. I, yeah. Is there anything else that you want to share about what a client might need or what a mental health first step?Professional might need in. Rachel: In this process, so starting with mental health professionals, there are going to be times like I've, I've gotten to a certain degree desensitized to hearing some pretty horrific stories. I was not at the beginning, of course, but it is good if you find that. You know, you want to be open to this [00:44:00] population.Sometimes they've been through really horrendous, horrendous things. And so it's good. It's important for you to take care of you. And if this really is too much for you, or if it's too triggering, cause you went through something similar, get more support for yourself. So that you can be able, right. Or you can choose if there are certain parts of this population you don't want to work with, that wouldn't be healthy for you.And it's okay to say that. It's okay to know that. And then it's good for you to have a resource list, because I never liked saying no to a client when I didn't have someone else to offer them, you know, like, how about try this person. And so then if you know that you're starting out and you're still very much affected by the things that you're being told.It is good to have at least three or four other names to refer people to for those cases and really, you know, again, you know, really make sure that you feel protected along the way until you get [00:45:00] maybe a little more able or desensitized. For clients. I think it's really good to know that, at least the way I talk about it that.They're the ones having the power in that space, and they might not know it, but I will let people know that like I make sure it's where it might. I'm not at all I don't have OCD traits sometimes I wish I had more of them in my house would be cleaner. But Right. But, I measure the furniture in my office, which is a weird thing. That might sound weird, but I make sure that my therapy chair isn't higher than the other chairs or the couch. Like I want us literally to be seeing eye to eye that we are equals here. And not lording over them just because I'm in my chair, you know, I don't have power.I will tell clients that I'm going to provide for them. My 31, 32 years of experience, but that they're hiring me, they're in charge. If I'm not giving them what they want, [00:46:00] they don't have to stay. It's like if you take your car to a mechanic and they don't fix the problem, go somewhere else. Or say, this is actually not what I'm needing.I'm needing more of this. Like, guide me to know what you would like, and then maybe I can provide that with more clarity, and we can work on defining what might be helpful here. But really, you can call the shots. And you can, you know, you can cancel your next appointment and that's okay, if you have stuff to do you can, I think it's also important when someone has been involved in a cult, sometimes they get very attached to the next person who is guiding them and leading them and they can get dependent.And it is my job, I think, to be a transitional object. And it's fine if people want to be dependent on me for a time, but I will say at some point, even though I know you're calling me to ask me what decision you should make about something, I would love it [00:47:00] if you, if we could work together where you will feel confident being the one where you can ask yourself that question and feel good about the answer you give yourself and trust it.So I can be that person for a while. But part of the goal here will be to hand the baton back to you, you know, I think it's an important message. Katherine: Absolutely. Yeah. And not just. I think that that for someone looking for a mental health professional that they can work with to, as you mentioned that collaboration and that mutuality and, and, and someone not showing up in that space and like I am the expert I know.This is what you need, et cetera, et cetera. That that's a good distinction to make. And, and you can typically sense that a little bit in that first meeting and that first consultation. Not always, but I feel like that's [00:48:00] something that that will come up. And. Yeah, and I also feel like it's, it's totally fine to ask a mental health professional in that initial consultation what are some books that you have read about this?What is, what is training that you have had on this? When you say that you're trauma informed. What does that mean exactly? Have you had training in that or is it just, you know what trauma is, you know, like, like having that you can ask those questions right out of the gate and and that's okay.And a good mental health professional is not going to get defensive. Rachel: Right. Even if people want to take a break, like I'll say sure. I mean, of course I don't even have to give them permission. They can take a break whenever they want, but if they want to see if they are able to take what they got from therapy and kind of just Use it on their own and, [00:49:00] and feel like they're able to call the shots in their life and see what they can do by themselves.I think it's really important to have people have that time. And then there's no shame in calling me and saying, well, something came up. And I realized I'm not equipped for that thing that just came up yet. So can I come back for a while? And yeah, I mean, you know where to reach me, you know, you have my number if you need to come back, great.But, and then when you're done with that, feel free to, you know, I also, I don't mind collaborating with other professionals. So if someone does EMDR, and I think that would be really good for. Client, then I'll, I will refer them or say, sure, they can go see someone else. The only time that becomes an issue is if someone else is seeing someone who I think is fraudulent in some way, like they're consulting with their psychic, you know, who's telling them that they don't need counseling.They just need to pay the psychic 10, 000 and they will free them of their negative energy. Okay. Then we're going to have a discussion [00:50:00] about that. But if it's someone healthy. Who is an adjunct. I think part of the wisdom that we have in this world is knowing who our resources are and utilizing them.And so I'm, I never feel in competition, but I will warn someone if I think they're getting advice from someone who is taking advantage of them. Katherine: Absolutely. Well, this has been amazing. And I know that. Both mental health professionals and folks looking for one are going to find this episode very, very helpful.If folks want to know more about you and the work that you do, where is the best place to find you? Rachel: Right. So you can listen to my podcast. It comes out each week. It's called indoctrination. It's on every platform, as far as I can tell, which is lovely. And I can be reached. All my information is on my website, Rachel Bernstein therapy.com. I'm Los Angeles based, but I work with people all over the world. And I have this support group. That's every other Wednesday [00:51:00] night on zoom. And I work with families with people who are trying to reach out to loved ones. Trying to plan a way to intervene if they feel they need to do that and doing just general counseling day to day in my office in Los Angeles but mostly still on Zoom.And so, yeah, there are a lot of places to reach me and I'm excited to have people reach out if they think it would be helpful. Is Katherine: your support group just kind of anyone can join at any time or do you have like Is it for like a certain amount of time and you Rachel: just right. Yeah, that's a great question.So it's open ended. But I just need to vet the person before because we have had issues with people just jumping on who were from a particular group and they were. spying basically on the group to see if former members of that group were coming to this and wanting to get their information. So I, as a safeguard talk to everyone [00:52:00] first to vet them before I give them the zoom link.And and then I do have right of refusal, like if someone was pretending to be someone turns out that they're not and they really are there to wreak havoc, they're no longer invited back, it needs to remain a safe place. And it really has, except for Scientology at the beginning. And that's why I have that.I have to have that interview process now because of them. But it's been great and it's been safe and it's a really nice feeling, nice kind of supportive, collaborative feeling in that group. But yeah, so people can join at any time. And it, people come when they come. It's very open ended and which I think people.Value that there isn't the expectation and I'm not going to contact them. Like what was wrong? How come you didn't Katherine: come? Yeah, that's great. And then one final thing you mentioned a [00:53:00] university that has a master's degree about coercive control I'd love to Drop that in the show notes as well. What was Rachel: the university?University of Salford. It's in England. And It's S A L F O R D. They have a program in coercive control. Katherine: Alright, I will look that up and I will make sure that makes it in the show notes. Thank you so much for Rachel: being here. Yes, thank you. Thanks for interviewing me. It was lovely to talk to you.

In dieser Folge sprechen wir über das uneheliche Kind von Voldemort und Severos Snape. Die Rede ist natürlich von Gríma Schlangenzunge, dem Berate des Königs von Rohan. Weshalb man ihm nicht trauen sollte, und dass er vielleicht unter dem Münchhausen-Syndrom leidet, erfahrt ihr in dieser redseligen Folge. Seid ihr auch redselig? Dann besucht doch unseren Discord-Server unter: https://discord.gg/gUD9neeW --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/herr-der-ringe-pro-minute/message

"FIRE the client" when necessary. Let go of clients who: ✅ Have unreasonable expectations. ✅ Communicate poorly or play games. ✅ Delay payments or undervalue your worth. ✅ Berate your team or make them miserable. ✅ Avoid accountability. Your business will benefit more in the long run because you'll move on to work with clients who make you happy and motivated. Prioritize working with those who value and appreciate your service. Life's too short for stressful client relationships. Riderflex is a national, Colorado-based, premier headhunter, RPO, and employment agency recruiting and searching for top talent for staffing your teams. Top Executive Recruiting Firm - https://riderflex.com/ Get your copy of "The Riderflex Guide: Inspiring & Hiring."It contains 30+ years of experience in entrepreneurship and executive leadership. Managers don't always have all the answers. This guide can help with some of the most basic but sought-after answers. Get The Book: https://amzn.to/3TtfnQH #BusinessTips #ClientManagement #ValueYourself #TeamWellbeing #WorkSmart #ColoradoRecruitingFirm #TopExecutiveRecruitingFirm #staffingagencycolorado #employmentagencydenver #headhunter #staffingfirm #Denver #Colorado #National #Riderflex --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/riderflex/support

Hier sind einige Tipps für den Kauf der ersten Immobilie: Mache dir ein genaues Bild Ihrer finanziellen Situation. Berücksichtige deine Einnahmen, Ausgaben und Schulden. Du solltest mindestens 20 % des Kaufpreises als Eigenkapital mitbringen. Recherchiere den Immobilienmarkt. Informiere dich über die aktuellen Preise und die Lage am Markt. Berate dich mit einem unabhängigen Finanzberater. Ein Finanzberater kann dir helfen, die richtige Entscheidung zu treffen. Finde eine Immobilie, die zu deinen Bedürfnissen passt. Achte auf die Größe, die Lage und die Ausstattung der Immobilie. Verhandel den Kaufpreis. Sei nicht zu voreilig und lasse dich nicht unter Druck setzen. Lasse die Immobilie von einem Sachverständigen begutachten. Der Sachverständige kann dir helfen, Mängel zu erkennen. Abonniere gern auch den Kanal, damit du nichts mehr verpasst.

You're not alone.  This episode explains how self critisicm and social condemnation can reinfroce the cycle of addiction. What is the solution? It's the strange and foreign concept of being kind to ourselves. Learn how in this episode.  ★ - Learn more about Project 90: www.alcoholfreelifestyle.com/Project90 ★ - (Accountability & Support) Speak verbally to a certified Alcohol-Free Lifestyle coach to see if, or how, we could support you having a better relationship with alcohol: https://www.alcoholfreelifestyle.com/schedule ★ - (Free Guide) The Alcohol Freedom Formula For Over 30s Entrepreneurs & High Performers: https://home.alcoholfreelifestyle.com/pod

Mike Matthews discusses the interesting news from the weekend and Mike brings back the fun segment Let's Go Back With Matthews where he goes back into his cassette archives to find interesting audio from his long radio career. Join Mike as he podcasts live from Café Anyway with Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer. Next show it's Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster.

Mike Matthews discusses the interesting news from the weekend and Mike brings back the fun segment Let's Go Back With Matthews where he goes back into his cassette archives to find interesting audio from his long radio career. Join Mike as he podcasts live from Café Anyway with Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer. Next show it's Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster.

Mike Matthews discusses the interesting news from the weekend and Mike brings back the fun segment Let's Go Back With Matthews where he goes back into his cassette archives to find interesting audio from his long radio career. Join Mike as he podcasts live from Cafe Anyway with Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer. Next show it's Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster.

Mike Matthews discusses the interesting news from the weekend and Mike brings back the fun segment Let's Go Back With Matthews where he goes back into his cassette archives to find interesting audio from his long radio career. Join Mike as he podcasts live from Cafe Anyway with Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer. Next show it's Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster.

Mike Matthews discusses the interesting news from the weekend and Mike brings back the fun segment Let's Go Back With Matthews where he goes back into his cassette archives to find interesting audio from his long radio career. Join Mike as he podcasts live from Café Anyway with Chely Shoehart, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer. Next show it's Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mikesdailypodcast/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mikesdailypodcast/support

Reed Low is here, and he helps us get smarter about the Stanley Cup as the Golden Knights look to take home their first title in the short existence of their franchise. How 'bout it.

AP correspondent Charles de Ledesma reports on United Nations Russia.

Punctuality is a matter of self-discipline, but also respect. We must be aware of and in command of our schedule and the time we've allocated to different people and activities. We must also care about how our decisions affect those people.Which is why it's not hard to imagine Marcus Aurelius or Cato being quite diligent about when they arrived and when things started, even though they were powerful enough to insist that others wait for them.But what about when they screwed up or lost track of time? Did they whip themselves? Berate themselves for being lazy? No, hopefully not!---And in today's reading of The Daily Stoic, Ryan examines Epictetus's quote, "Keep in mind that it isn't the one that has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse."

OP divorced her cheating husband and got to work on landing her dream job, which she did then on the busiest day of the year her ex showed up with OP's ex-in-laws and it went downhill. OP^'s ex ended up being arrested and later in the trial, OP's ex-mother-in-law ended up in a psych hold.

When should you put up Christmas lights? A new survey illuminates an evergreen debate // Families can expect to pay more for real Christmas trees this holiday season // Oregon school board moves meetings online after parents berate members, lash out over ‘LGBTQ activist bullies' // A Growing Force: Conservatives Aim to Shake Up Nation's School Boards on Election Day // Why don't more men take their wives' last names?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guest: Scott Simon, senior fellow with the Macdonald-Laurier Institute, professor of social sciences at the University of Ottawa.

Why did Xi Jinping berate Justin Trudeau at the G20 and what does it mean for China-Canada relations?  Guest: Scott Simon, senior fellow with the MThe top is tops and Lite-Brite shines as the Toy Hall of Fame welcomes three new inductees  The top is tops and Lite-Brite shines as the Toy Hall of Fame welcomes three new inductees  Guest: Chris Bensch, chief curator, The Strong National Museum of Play How Halifax's women volunteers played a big role in the second world war effort  Guest: Lezlie Lowe, author of The Volunteers The lasting legacy of Louis Riel   Guest: Jean Teillet, Indigenous rights lawyer, author of The North-West Is Our Mother: The Story of Louis Riel's People, the Métis Nation, and Riel's great-grandniece

HOUR 4 Fauria calls in to berate Wiggy and defend Greg on Mac Jones island What's wrong with the Patriots offensive line and how are they going to fix it? Wiggy really hopes the Patriots make a splash at the trade deadline

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman told police that meth is actually legal. Authorities think Florida perverts should keep away from mating manatees. Florida woman called police 11,000 times to harass and berate them. Why are The Villages rumored to be the STD capital of the US? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet. Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Kevin D. Turner & Gillian Whitney chat about: What's [In] Professional? You hear it all the time. LinkedIn isn't Facebook. LinkedIn is supposed to be a professional social media platform. But what does it really mean to be “professional” on LinkedIn? What's [In] Professional? Personal vs Personality. Humorous vs Serious. Debate vs Berate. Brand vs Bland. As a Brand Strategist and Managing Partner with TNT Brand Strategist LLC, Kevin knows a thing or two about building a professional brand on LinkedIn. Based in Dallas, Texas, Kevin is a LinkedIn Optimizer, Trainer, Resume Writer, Career Coach, Public Speaker, and Podcast Guest. Kevin is highly regarded on LinkedIn for eliminating organizational & personal blanding with the sharpest tools and strategies for your professional success. He's also amazingly knowledgeable about the latest and greatest new LinkedIn features. For more information: videoeasypeasy.com Gillian Whitney https://www.linkedin.com/in/gillianwhitney/ Kevin D. Turner https://www.linkedin.com/in/president/

Staff get out of hand. BUT, we're in this together?! Nothing makes a business run better than staff feeling respected on the same level, no brainier right? This episode we get a little serious at the start getting into how to handle both being wrong and telling staff when they're wrong.Follow the hosts:Ry - www.instagram.com/rhath_music/Mitchell - www.instagram.com/mitchell.bill/Contact us with any reviews, complaints or just funny tales at: howcanwehelpyoupodcast@gmail.comIntro music: Matt Hoyne Triohttps://matthoyne.bandcamp.com/releases'Feedback, Feedback' & 'Industry News' music by Wayde Suchodolskiyhttps://www.instagram.com/trifle_records/

Don is in Spain this week and takes the week off, Mike was at ISA all week and flies solo and interviews Todd Nall to speak about the latest in his world including an unruly exhibitor... not cool! TheDonAndMikeShow.net and ExhibitCityNews.com

Mostly we beat ourselves up due to the mind- loop when we have things that need to be done. Berate ourselves. This podcast gives a perpective to take on. Discover. Life provides us plenty of opportunity to see our reactiveness/butt hurt! We begin playing with and engaging with how life shows up when less reactiveness is in the space. Using and owning "Incrementalism" will allow for expansion in that space of less reaction. Since, suddenly you may find yourself reacting very differently. A new place/space that you provided by taking this on. You are the one that has taken the medicine. Please keep taking the medicine, so you continue to find freedom. It is not pie in the sky! Always, always... take what works and leave the rest! Nikki Podcasts to listen to: Incrementalism No Make Wrong - Week 2 Reactiveness Everyone functions at their own level of awareness Audible books to listen to: Practicing The Power of Now (start with this book. Listen 1 hour a day until you've finished the book) The Power of Now (Listen 1 hour a day until finished) Transcending The Ego (Listen 1 hour a day until finished) Signs (Listen 1 hour a day until finished)

You will be driven mad by this sound!Search our amazing complete data bass of amazing sounds here and special effects https://www.tale-teller.club/100-free-sound-effects How to get this free loop/sampleyou can download it from https://www.tale-teller.club/juicy-loops-factory and the Spreaker app Check out our own story www.tale-teller.club/immersion#loops #reels #shorts #youtube #tiktok #sound #soundeffects #specialeffects #free #logicpro #taleteller #taletellerclub #soundrecordings #ASMR #recordings #studio #creators #creatortools #soundtracks #postedit #freedownloads #audio #audiotools #audiorecording #podcaster #podcasttools #gamedesigners #musicians #filmmakers #juicysounds #free-lessons #digital-music-school #digi-mus #ads #advertising #voiceover #vocals #taletellers #taletellerclub #soundscape #sound_designer #audio_tricks #loopmaster #juicy_loops #loopscatalogue #cubase #garageband #royalty_free #Greatdownloads #no-copyright #free_stuff #instagram_tools #facebook_video #Online_library #immersive #immersion #make_believe #story #stortellers #storytelling, #nocatch #100%free #moods #ambient #trance #ambient#music #musicpodcasts #musician #composer #digitalmusic #arranger #pe rformer #how_to_create_soundtracks #soundtracks_fo_film, #classical #classicallytrained #contemporarymusic #recordingartists #††ç #TTC #entertainers, #apple_loops_ alternative #ringtone #ringtone_samples #create_ringtones#Live_backing_tracks #tale_teller_club #sarnia #sarnia-de-la-mare #pro_tools #makemovies, #howto #learn #learnfilmmaking #filmschool #video_art #filmsecrets #specialeffects #freetools #logicprofree #taleteller #taletellerclub #soundrecordings #ASMR #recordings #studio #creators #creatortools #soundtracks #postedit #freedownloads #audio #audiotools #audiorecording #podcaster #podcasttools #gamedesigners #musicians #filmmakers #juicysounds #free-lessons #digital-music-school #moody #mood_creation #petrifying_sounds #funny_sounds #games #game #gaming #online_filmschool #create_tension #synth #processed #electronic #electronic_sfx

(We apologize about the audio. CL The Source was recording from The Matrix during this one) This episode is all about discussing GENIUS LEVEL TALENT. The Unbiased crew chop up Kanye's new documentary, Clubhouse, the importance of being unbiased, and the war between Russia and Ukraine. *TIMESTAMPS BELOW*/00:45 - CL has an announcement! / 09:40 - Being Authentic / 11:37 - Don't Berate me, Debate me / Are you on Clubhouse? / 14:39 - How does Clubhouse work? / 25:00 - When to show up. / 27:20 - Discussing the JEEN-Yuhs Documentary / 50:20 - How do you feel when your friends and family don't support you? / 01:08:10 - The Importance of The Unbiased Truth / 01:34:30 - The Fear of things working out / 01:42:10 - Russia vs. Ukraine: Why is this happening?

In today's episode, you will learn a new English vocabulary word. You will also hear a story related to today's vocabulary word. This episode will give you the vocabulary you need to sound more like a native English speaker.GET YOUR Ebook | Daily English Vocabulary Book 3

EP.356 China Berate US to act more responsibly, after they enclountered with two near miss satellites

Lass dich begeistern von der Prozessvielfalt diversester Branchen "Kunden realisieren im Projektverlauf meistens erst, wo sie selbst eigentlich hin wollen." Im neuen Jobcast® light erzählen Tobias und Markus, warum sie sich manchmal wie bei der Sendung mit der Maus fühlen, was die typischen Schwierigkeiten in der Beratung Logistik sind und welche Herausforderungen die Corona-Situation für die Logistikbranche mit sich bringt. Erfahre außerdem, wieso auch mal ein Besuch im Irish-Pub dazugehört und wie man sich plötzlich auch für Naturkosmetik begeistern kann. Erzähle deinen Freund*innen und Bekannten von OHRBEIT, damit noch mehr Unternehmen durch Jobcasts® transparenter werden! Du findest uns außerdem auf

Wenn auch du wissen möchtest, wie du deine Beziehung rettest, deine/n EX zurück bekommst oder die Trennung verarbeiten kannst, dann melde dich bei uns für ein kostenloses Erstgespräch: https://www.beyondbreakup.de/termin?utm_source=podcast Der Gedanke an die Partnerschaft, an das Leben mit einer anderen Person, mit der man zusammen alt wird, kann beängstigend sein. Das Gefühl, nicht genug Zeit mit dem Menschen verbracht zu haben, der die Geschichte des Lebens mit dir teilt, kann dich bekümmern. Aber dieses Gefühl kann von dir abgelegt werden, wenn du richtig damit umgehst. Erzähle deinem Partner, was dir bei der Partnerschaft, der Beziehung, am wichtigsten ist. Gib seinen Erwartungen Aufmerksamkeit. Erzähle ihm, was du wirklich willst. Verkoste und teste die Sachen, die die Partnerschaft erleichtern. Berate dich gegenseitig. Dann wird die Partnerschaft wieder Spaß machen und felsenfest in der Zukunft sein. Ralf Hofmann & Felix Heller zeigen dir, wie du deine Beziehung rettest und in das Gefühl zurück kommst, dass du am Anfang der Beziehung hattest. Und wenn die Trennung schon vollzogen ist, helfen sie dir, deine/n EX zurück zu bekommen oder die Trennung so zu verarbeiten, dass du dich darauf freust jemand neues in dein Leben zu lassen. Mehr von Beyond Breakup: - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beyondbreakup_app - Facebookgruppe: https://www.facebook.com/groups/liebeskummerhilfe - Beyond Breakup App https://appstore.com/beyondbreakup

I'm gonna come to the defence of the Prime Minister on this business with the MIQ escapee.I think it's unreasonable to berate her for not telling us about the escapee at the 1pm briefing yesterday.The entire time that she was on stage, it was still an unfolding situation.The police were still at this guy's house trying to pick him up, they didn't arrest him until just after 2pm when the Prime Minister had already wrapped up the briefing.You can hardly expect her to go public with that information and then run the risk of getting ahead of the cops and giving them a heads up, if like the rest of the country he happens to be watching the 1pm press briefing.I think we have to be reasonable about what information is released and when.Having said that, the information did need to released and the Government should have front footed this.She or another senior minister should have said something in Parliament and got ahead of the media finding out about it.We knew about it here in this newsroom before the 1pm briefing was through.We emailed the police at 1:30pm and we got a statement from them by 2:30pm.Labour should have front footed this news because this was always going to be big.If you're in the middle of a lockdown and there's a guy who's escaped from MIQ and he's Covid positive, people are going to care about that.And especially, Labour should have front footed this because they have made such a big song and dance about being the “single source of truth” and the “government of transparency”, and if that's the story that you're going to sell to people then you need to live up to that high benchmark that you've set for yourself.Because getting snapped being selective with the truth is extremely brand damaging.And it's especially bad that they just happened to have done it in the same week that they've tried every trick in the book to paint National as reckless for wanting Parliament to sit so they can apply scrutiny to this government.They just gave National the very reason why Parliament does need to sit.Because scrutiny is required when a government withholds information.While I don't think that the Prime Minister actually deserves the sledging that she's getting for her radio silence at 1pm, I do think that the Government's collective ongoing silence afterwards means that they've lost the moral high ground and they've given National a gift here.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for August 3, 2021 is: berate • bih-RAYT • verb : to scold or condemn vehemently and at length Examples: "Don't berate yourself over canceling plans," the lifestyle expert said. "It is sometimes more important that you allow for time to take care of yourself." "During Russell's tirade Wednesday, he didn't shout at any particular player, but his team as a whole. 'I would never single someone out and berate them,' Russell said." — Shaun Goodwin, The Kansas City Star, 17 June 2021 Did you know? Berate and rate can both mean "to rebuke angrily or violently." This sense of rate was first recorded in the 14th century, centuries before the familiar (and etymologically unrelated) rate meaning "to estimate the value of." We know that berate was probably formed by combining the prefix be- and the older rate, but the origins of this particular rate itself are somewhat more obscure.

We retell our graduation celebrations and throw in some defamation, teasing, and lots of laughing because we physically can't help ourselves. Instagram Podcast Instagram: https://instagram.com/coffee.huddle.podcast?igshid=9vt5lyswpy0p Mel's Instagram: https://instagram.com/my.world.corner?igshid=1jsfx0qgkgcy Angel's Instagram: https://instagram.com/post.partum.potatoes?igshid=svxk13ub4wpp Twitter Podcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/coffee_huddle?s=09 Angel's Twitter: https://twitter.com/hotlipsmay?s=09

Spen and Nick discuss the Nets signing Alize Johnson to a 10-day contract, break-down the Win on Sunday night against Washington, and share concerns over the Nets upcoming three game road trip without Kyrie Irving or Landry Shamet. Special guest Cousin Ray joins for our newest segment, "Berate a Knicks fan."  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Funnels work. They're a great way to solve valuable problems and build trust with your customers... WHILE GETTING PAID! Trouble is, it seems as though some businesses don't lend themselves well to the "funnel" model, but the truth is, you can create an ascending ladder full of offers for pretty much ANY business... ... as long as you take a different approach. Here's what I mean... Also in this episode I: - Mispronounce the word "Russell" - DELIBERATELY - a rather poor attempt at raising a smile. - Brilliantly agitate the "funnels don't work for my business" problem, so it feels more pressing and makes you feel WORSE about your life! - Tease you with a possible solution to this problem before I wildly veer off and talk about myself for a bit (you'll wonder how one man can be so damn selfish!) - Blatantly admit that I used to get paid by lying to people for a living (you might wanna call the cops after hearing this) - Answer the "how many birthdays does the average person have a year?" question once and for all (the answer may shock you... if you're an imbecile!!!!) - Say the words "THERE IS NO FREE OFFER!" - Egad! Did I really say this? Yes (let's hope the Sunday papers don't get hold of THAT quote!) - Finally admit the truth about my four-year struggle... (you'll need tissues for this... but only if you've spilled something) - Crowbar in a desperate plug for you to sign up to my "GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!!" (think you know what "no lube" means? Think again...) - Reveal the price of how much a magician REALLY costs for two hours of magic (I'll give you a clue... it's one of these: £150, £400, or a Ginsters pasty and a foot massage) - Berate you (mildly) for being so selfish - Say the words "THERE IS NO FREE OFFER!" - again! (Am I mad?) - IMPLORE you to fantasise about brides... like you are doing right now! - Generously give wedding magicians a free idea for a killer lead magnet (did I say it was free? I did? Oh... shit, I wasted these brackets...) - Selflessly give magicians 5 (yes, facking FIVE) benefits they can use to get more bookings (I've charged over £1.25 for these in the past!!!!) - Show you the easiest way I know to GUARANTEE you're always offering value to the client - keep this handy trick in mind and you'll never go wrong. .... and some (I think) more. Oh, and while you're here... Don't forget to visit https://insertgaghere.com/email​ to get access to the GOOGLE DRIVE OF AWESOMENESS!!!! so you can claim your FREE email prompts, writing tips, client-getting ideas, and MORE.

On this weeks show Xbox Game Pass thanks us for last weeks sports special by adding even more sports to the service. In our leaving soon titles we battle monsters & demons in Castlevania spiritual successor Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night and sibling love goes too far in Alvastia Chronicles. Finally we talk through the latest rumours on the Nintendo Switch Pro and Sony's bananas new controller plans. Timestamps Xbox Game Pass - New Additions [02:49] - Overview Reviews [05:29] - Football Manager 21: Xbox Edition [25:01] - Madden NFL 21 [34:39] - NBA 2K21 Xbox Game Pass - Leaving Soon [48:15] - Overview Reviews [51:15] - Alvastia Chronicles  [01:05:44] - Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night [01:19:48] - Kona News [01:33:23] - Potential Nintendo Switch Pro details [01:41:46] - Microsoft shoot down game reveal rumours [1:50:26] - PlayStation's bananas new controller patent

This series of podcast episodes is designed to help students preparing for the 11 Plus Grammar School Entrance exams in the UK. The main goal is to expand children's English vocabulary. A broad vocabulary is a vital component of the English comprehension, writing and verbal reasoning sections of the exam.  You can also view The Exam Coach's 11+ Online English and Maths Workshops here: https://www.theexamcoach.tv/11-plus-english-online-workshops-webpage

Bevor es demnächst wieder Geschichten au der Herrenberger Fitness- und Gesundheitsbranche im Format #werunhbg geben wird, erfahrt ihr heute nochmals, aus welcher "Mission" ich mich aktuell mit meiner eigenen Unternehmung, dem "Fit & Fröhlich" befinde. In der Eröffnungs-Woche meines ersten eigenen Ladens, dem "Fit & Fröhlich" Pop-Up Store direkt am Herrenberger Marktplatz, durfte ich auch dem SWR4 Baden-Württemberg das Geschäftsmodell erläutern und darüber sprechen, wieso ich glaube, mit dem Konzept zur richtgen Ziet am richtigen Ort zu sein. Viel Spaß mit diesem kleinen Shortcut!

Im Zuge der Eröffnung meines ersten eigenen Ladens, dem "Fit & Fröhlich" Pop-Up Store direkt am Herrenberger Marktplatz, durfte ich Adina von den Video-Coaches "Schwarzwald Anker" ein Interview über meinen Werdegang geben, das Geschäftsmodell des "Fit & Fröhlich" erläutern und darüber sprechen, wieso ich glaube, mit dem Konzept zur richtgen Ziet am richtigen Ort zu sein. Vielen Dank an Adina und Arne von "Schwarzwald Anker" für das Interview und an alle, die an mich und das "Fit & Fröhlich" glauben, uns bereits am Marktplatz besucht haben, die uns darüber hinaus unterstützen und die ebenso davon überzeugt sind, dass Herrenberg zu einem fitteren & fröhlicheren Ort mit mehr Lebensqualität werden kann.

Let's agree not to berate each other and have the social acumen to avoid situations leading to compunction.  Hmm.  How do we substantiate such an idea? Songs: “Carol of the Trap” DJ DENZ the Rooster, “Bird Flex” by Bonkers Beat Club --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nick-nordstrom/support

Episode 45: - The Saudi Arabia Mess- AEW Full Gear Picks- NFL Picks- The boys bash Meltzer- Ricky (The African American), Tom and Sam discuss Black Movies*There seem to be some technical issues throughout the recording

This week the boys go deep into fake soda and all the ways it can land you in time jail. Trust us, it'll make sense when you hear it. Berate us at: DanceSharkPodcast@gmail.com https://soundcloud.com/dancesharkpodcast https://www.facebook.com/DanceShark/ https://twitter.com/DanceSharkPod Music from https://filmmusic.io "Surf Shimmy" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4

You Did This to Us! On this episode you made us watch Monster House to kick off this year's Movie-GHOUL-Round. As beloved as this is in some quarters, Brett, David, and Nicole all had their issues with it. We all dug in to the problems, including a disappointing lack of sparkle from a script written by Rick and Morty's Dan Harmon, and some confusing casting choices. Love this movie? Tune in this episode and yell at us! Leave us a scathing email! Berate us on Facebook! Come on, we dare you! Remember: Movie-Ghoul-Round runs this week as a marathon through Halloween evening!Email the show at hi@mgrpodcast.com. Find us online by heading over to social.mgrpodcast.com. Remember, you can vote on You Did This to Us every 5 weeks if you're following us on social media!Tomorrow is the second entry in the Movie-Ghoul-Round marathon, and it's a New to Two pick: 2018's Halloween.

As women, we often fall into a negative loop of criticizing our bodies. We wear ourselves down, and it can create symptoms, even weight gain. This is such an important mental habit to notice so we can start changing it. We as women need to start treating our bodies like we would a good friend. Then, that friend becomes our ally, instead of our enemy. Symptoms subside, the excess weight falls off, and we find peace. Then we can focus on the more important things in our lives. We would NEVER talk to a friend, a child or an animal the way we talk about our bodies! In this podcast, I share some practical steps to start changing this habit, so you can like or even love your body. I used these ideas decades ago and turned my nasty critical mind into a mind full of appreciation and love for my body. My body also healed from many symptoms.

RUDE.

Heute bekommst du das Basiswissen über Webinare. Warum sollte man Webinare überhaupt anbieten? Was ist der Unterschied zu Videos? Außerdem reden wir über Evergreen Webinare, Spontan-Terimin-Webinare, die perfekten Webinar Tools, Perfekte Webinar-Länge, was sind Pitch-Seminare bzw. No-Pitch-Webinare, Wie erhöhst du die Sitzungsdauer in Webinaren.

In our last episode the team faced a series of challenges as they were led through the mountain by the Warforged Fergus. These challenges tested their moral character, willingness to sacrifice for others, and if they can get over their paralyzing fear of taking damage they can see coming.They also showed that they are willing to forget about ethical dilemmas as soon as they are able to move past them. And while they may be inclined to just gloss over what was done to that poor displacer beast, we here at the Episode Description Department feel it is our duty to hold them to account! Sure it had big claws with which it tried to kill the adventurers. But not one of them attempted to cuddle the tentacled murder-kitty!We've just been handed a note saying our job here is to talk about the current episode. Fine. Our adventurers continue through the mountain, facing the challenges Fergus leads them to. There is no cuddling in this episode. And yes, they do show a little mercy. But there is no discussion of the fate of the poor displacer beast or how some party members allow their lust for blood to override the misgivings of the others!If you condone this behavior subscribe and leave a review on iTunes- podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/intelligence-check/id1241401679 Berate the party members for their decisions on Discord discord.gg/H3fhhA7, Reddit www.reddit.com/r/IntelligenceCheck/, and Facebook www.facebook.com/intelligencecheck . Email us at intelligencecheckpodcast@gmail.comTheme song by Jet 'n' JobyLogo designed by Ed Rempfer

In today’s episode, you will learn how to reflect on your past, in a way that is going to lay the foundations for a future you actually want, instead of repeating past patterns. We will look at our inner self-talk and how it can become something that brings us closer to our dreams or further away. You will learn how you can use your conscious choice to celebrate all that is wonderful about you and life, therefore attracting more abundance and love! In this episode you will learn: How to celebrate instead of berate yourself and life How to create a powerful reflection practice How to change your perspective to create the life you want Georgina Durcan is an internationally renowned Intuitive Therapist guiding people home to who they truly are by using her voice to deliver messages from their Soul’s truth. She has worked with thousands of clients around the world over the past 15years, helping them to create a life which brings joy, meaning, love, miracles, and abundance! Georgina is the host of the SOULSTICE podcast and lives in beautiful Ireland with her husband and twins. Let’s have some true connection! Website Email Sign up for my monthly newsletter   Sat Nam,   Georgina Durcan Intuitive therapist and founder of the SOULSTICE Collective.   I want to share a STEP by STEP GUIDE and PROCESS. That is my GO TO when I want to gain clarity, connection to my truth and Soul, and create my life from a place of love and truth. To receive this FREE GUIDE click here to download.

The nothing relationship. I cannot believe you're beside me. Inside me. Why did I allow you to ride me. Berate me. Negate me. How can you still love me. Below me. You will never know me. How could you think you could control me. You lost me, because, you never knew me. You screwed me. […]

Our heroes finally have access to the answers they've been seeking. They receive some of them. Listen as they: SLOUCH in the pout corner! CONSIDER an ambush at a discount! BERATE their brain boy!   Transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1avPlC4EawWMDmKduwyZBV2OEubD6s76I2M4_OG4nvwc/edit?usp=sharing   Follow our other accounts! Website: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/questfriends Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/QuestFriendsPodcast/  Tumblr: https://questfriendspodcast.tumblr.com  Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/questfriends  Twitter: https://twitter.com/Quest_Friends  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC62OqSFLVUvqw-a_UaAryKA    Intro/Outro music by MiracleOfSound Intro: Friends (YouTube: https://youtu.be/uH-8TDe5s-E, Bandcamp: https://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/track/friends-2) Outro: Hitoshio (YouTube: https://youtu.be/m5Ahfl6gcH4, Bandcamp: https://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/track/hitoshio)   Other Music/Sound Effects "Lobby Time" by Kevin MacLeod: https://www.incompetech.com (Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/) "Fairytale Waltz" by Kevin MacLeod: https://www.incompetech.com (Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/) "Something Wicked" by Ross Bugden: https://youtu.be/Zuw_O5MU5CE  "Memory" by Kyle Decker: https://youtu.be/EIa0zGbOsB4  "Fifties Shopping Intro Extended" by TeknoAXE: https://youtu.be/G-ktarzSPbo  "Cavern" by Jahzzar: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/CDDC/Cavern  "Times Of Change" by Jay Man/Our Music Box: www.youtube.com/c/ourmusicbox "Derp Away" by Liam Priestnall: https://youtu.be/SLpef-yVKL4   

Can a president fire the attorney general? How much influence does a president have over the Justice Department? Reporter Ashley Parker, historian Tim Naftali and law professor Steve Vladeck on the politics, historical context and legal limitations.

This week the three podcasters review the 80's Secret Wars! Just in time for the new Secret Wars on sheleves last Wednesday! Follow along as we praise Dr. Doom and Klaw, Berate the heroes bluntness, and generally tear the book apart while loving it! Facebook: www.facebook.com/assomeonewhodoesntreadc­­­­omics Twitter: twitter.com/idontreadcomics OR e-mail: idontreadcomics@gmail.com

Hot on the heels of Toronto Comicon I have Toronto comic artist and writer Jason Loo! Jason's current project 'The Pitiful Human Lizard' is on Kickstarter right now, you can check it out and support the project here:http://kck.st/1mIGLJhJason can be found on twitter at: @Rebel_looalso check out the project on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PitifulHumanLizardLike the podcast? hate the podcast? Berate/praise me on twitter @ehoustounalso check out the facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/geekeon

What use is an F-call? Amateur Radio has been around for over a century, in that time it has evolved considerably. From humble beginnings with the field being discovered and covered by inventors, to today where we enjoy the fruits of over 100 years of development. That's not to say that we don't have inventors among us today, just that they build on the shoulders of giants with information and knowledge passed down through the generations. Today we celebrate the existence of new Amateurs on a regular basis. We welcome new F-calls to our bands daily and we see a massive influx of new puppy dogs with wagging tails, keen as mustard and hungry to learn. Only we don't do anything with that. We have a few stalwarts, brave souls who spend their time encouraging new Amateurs; we see them teach, guide and mentor, train and develop, help and grow the skills and do the things that you'd expect from a hobby. Unfortunately there are some among us who take a different, darker view. They bemoan "the coming of the illiterate hordes", they berate and chastise, doggedly fighting the inflow of new ideas, rekindling a past where boys were boys and amateurs were men. They take the view that an F-call is not a real licence, can't really know anything and that one holding such a license is less of an Amateur than they. It's amusing to think that a crusty Amateur, say 70 years old or so, was once 14, half a century after their predecessors started the hobby, but they seem to have forgotten that time. Now I'm not going to name names, or make examples of those experiences I've had or those I've been told about, but if you're listening to this and your blood pressure is rising, perhaps it would be a great idea to have a think about if you're encouraging new comers, or not. Fortunately negativity isn't all encompassing, but it's too prevalent, too dominant to be comfortable. Get a life, encourage an F-call will ya - they're in it for the hobby too you know! In case you're wondering, Sour Grapes - No. Disappointed - Yes. I'm Onno VK6FLAB.

1. Berate the Ones We Hate 2. Lost 3. KFC 4. Trail Mix Hierarchy 5. Nerf Guns 6. J and H Rant 7. I Don't Wanna Work 8. Jeff's Eating Habits 9. Advantages in Board Games 10. Harris Loses to His Grandpa 11. Home Alone 12. Everyday Joker 13. Circus Guy In the Bathroom 14. Jeff and Harris Top 5