Podcasts about nervously

Wait a second? Where's Andy? Your host Ant, Dun and the returning Steve Gallen (Not that Steve Gallen) take a stab at making sense of the last few days of QPR, which is hard as not many minutes were actually seen by the panel- West Brom. Nil Points. - Rangers pay the penalty for having only one shot on target- Boro. Nil Points- Will Jimmytar Berbatov become a thing?- Will Charlie Kelman become a thing next season?- Another injury for Ilias. A season of terrible injury luck- Nervously looking over our shoulder? - New Colossus in New York, Jalen does more than Knick his ankle and twerking a double shift- Some lovely stuff. Do we have a future Olympian in the QPR NYC family?- As Andy literally holds all the cards, we can't remember some lads...- So let's remember some kits instead. THE FIRST QPR NYC DRAFT - AWAY KITS 2000-2025.- Ant, Dun and Steve take turns to pick their 5 favorite away shirts of the 21st century. Who has the acquired the best rack of shirts? Who knows? It's a Lotto-ry.- After a Terrifying reverse Shaffer, it's Leeds at home. Humans are not as optimistic as AI- Ant! Bravo. Well done for hosting!Rate, review (5 stars obviously!)

Kia ora,Welcome to Monday's Economy Watch where we follow the economic events and trends that affect Aotearoa/New Zealand.I'm David Chaston and this is the international edition from Interest.co.nz.And today we lead with news we are ending the year with mostly a strong international economy, but worries are growing about prospects for 2025. If both China and the US turn down together, then all bets are off.But right now, it's going to a relatively quiet week ahead as you would expect with major holidays in some of the largest financial markets. But we will get data from Singapore (CPI), Thailand (exports), Taiwan (retail sales and industrial production), China (industrial profits and their MLF interest rate), Canada (PPI), and the US (durable goods orders, new home sales, jobless claims and some regional factory surveys). So enough to keep an eye on while we relax. Nothing locally of course except the November data dump from the RBNZ tomorrow.In the US, there was a last-minute avoidance of their shutdown as conservative Republicans were not prepared to give the incoming President the blank cheque of a suspension of their debt limit. Trump lost that one by quite a wide margin, so it may not be plain-sailing for the Trump/Musk presidency.Meanwhile, the widely-watched US PCE measure of inflation came in at 2.4% in November, up a tick and to its highest since July. Core PCE inflation stayed even higher at 2.8%. But these results were actually a tick less than expected. The 2.8% inflation level is what the University of Michigan consumer survey also reported.American personal disposable income rose +2.6% from a year ago, a slight undershoot. But personal spending remained strong, up +2.9% and similar to the gains over the past six months. Personal saving as a percent of disposable income rose marginally to 4.4% from the prior month and ending the longish decline from the start of the year when it ran at 5.5% of personal disposable income. The 4.4% level is where it ran for most of 2023.Across the Pacific, Taiwanese export orders stayed elevated, up +3.3% from the same month a year ago which itself was elevated.China reviewed its loan prime rates on Friday and kept them unchanged - at record lows. It's MLF rate will be announced this coming week.In China, there have been recent reports of officials calling in bond traders to lecture them about 'responsible trading' - and the consequences for not. Chinese bond yields had fallen to record lows, as readers here who tracked our monitoring of the Chinese 10yr yield below will know. But today, the fear of losing money is winning out over the fear of officialdom's wrath.China's one-year bond yields broke below levels last seen in the GFC to the lowest since 2003, driven by bets on aggressive policy easing and demand for haven assets. The yield on one-year government debt plunged 17 bps yesterday to just 0.85%. The ten year is down to 1.69%. While it might be too harsh to call it 'panic mode' there is certainly a hard edge here, in fear of where the Chinese economy is headed.Japan reported November CPI inflation, and that rose again, now at 2.9%, with the widely-watched core inflation rate at 2.8%.Japan also said its population fell to just under 124 mln, a fall of -325,000 in a year, and -3.1 mln in a decade. Now 29.3% of that population is 65 year and older, with only 11.1% under 15 years. In China, which is also thought of as having a similar demographic problem, those spread details are 14.3% over 65 years and 16.8% under 15 years.Following the recent +200 bps out-of-cycle interest rate rise in Russia and the central bank guidance then, they were expected to raise their policy rate by another +200 bps again overnight to 23%. But they didn't. Apparently the Kremlin isn't keen on the independence of the Russian central bank governor any more.And perhaps we should note that nickel prices have hit a four-year low, on the combination of low demand and surging Indonesian supply. Russia is no longer a force in nickel supply. Prices for rough-cut diamonds are also plunging, this time on low demand out of China and their acceptance of artificial alternatives.The UST 10yr yield is now at just on 4.53%, and up +2 bps from this time Saturday but that is a net +16 bps rise for the week. The price of gold will start today at US$2622/oz and down -US$3 from Saturday. But that is down -US$36 from this time last week.Oil prices are unchanged at just on US$69.50/bbl in the US while the international Brent price is still just under US$73. A week ago these prices were US$71 and US$74.50 respectively.The Kiwi dollar starts today just on 56.7 USc and unchanged from Saturday. But that is down almost -1c from a week ago (57.6c USc). Against the Aussie we are holding 90.4 AUc. Against the euro we are still at 54.3 euro cents. That all means our TWI-5 starts today at just on 67.1 to be unchanged from Saturday at this time but down -50 bps from a week ago.The bitcoin price starts today at US$95,659 and down another -1.5% from this time Saturday. A week ago it was at US$101,536, so down -5.8% from then. Volatility over the past 24 hours has been modest however at +/- 1.5%.You can find links to the articles mentioned today in our show notes.You can get more news affecting the economy in New Zealand from interest.co.nz.Kia ora. I'm David Chaston. And we will do this again tomorrow.

Is Alex Bregman leaving the Astros? Where will he be playing baseball? IS BREG STAYING?!?!

Katelyn Jetelina, founder and author of the newsletter Your Local Epidemiologist, talks about what may be coming down the road for public health, as President-elect Trump considers giving noted vaccine skeptic Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and others who have questioned settled science, leading roles in the administration.

Guest: Georganne Burke, Senior Vice President, Pathway Group Inc., the Canadian chapter lead for Republicans Overseas

Brian Lilley is in for Deb Hutton today. - Brett House - Professor of Professional Practice in economics at Columbia Business School and a Fellow with the Public Policy Forum, the Munk School and Massey College, on the economic impact for Canada of the American elections- Bell selling MLSE, buying US ISP - Cocktails to enjoy for tonight while watching the US election with Jen Kirsch - pop culture insider and your friendly neighborhood relationship columnist- Are you going in to debt to help your kids? Or at a certain point do you have to have your best interest at heart? 

We've finally caught up with the rest of the world. Time change was last night in North America, the USA changed the date a few years ago, and when the US has a cold, we sneeze. I do want to say good luck to my American friends this week. The whole world is watching. Nervously. Hell, we're going to have our own turn at trying to keep the far-right out of a majority government here shortly enough. But lets block out the real world for an hour and listen to some great new music! Freunde Der Technik - Vielen Dank! E-Lektrotreib! - Aussergewehnlich Red Industrie - Forward (Extended) BlakLight - A Stranger Calls (Rework) Frontal Boundary - Shutting Down Martine - Black Noir (Mach Fox) Pulse Protocol - Heartbeats (Darkest Night) KRSSV - Trampa http://synthetic.org/ https://synthetic.threadless.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@RealSyntheticAudio

David Rothkopf joins Norm to break down the final twelve days of the presidential race, from Kamala Harris' CNN Town Hall to Trump's incredibly concerning and outspoken affinity for Nazis. How does the election landscape look as we head into the final stretch? How confident can we be in a Harris victory, and what is truly at stake if Trump wins? Tune in to hear Norm and David discuss all this and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David Rothkopf joins Norm to break down the final twelve days of the presidential race, from Kamala Harris' CNN Town Hall to Trump's incredibly concerning and outspoken affinity for Nazis. How does the election landscape look as we head into the final stretch? How confident can we be in a Harris victory, and what is truly at stake if Trump wins? Tune in to hear Norm and David discuss all this and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David Rothkopf joins Norm to break down the final twelve days of the presidential race, from Kamala Harris' CNN Town Hall to Trump's incredibly concerning and outspoken affinity for Nazis. How does the election landscape look as we head into the final stretch? How confident can we be in a Harris victory, and what is truly at stake if Trump wins? Tune in to hear Norm and David discuss all this and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Got a question/comment? Send it to me!E334:

Father Jimmy Fights his carnal desires.By GrushaVashnadze. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. "Oh yeah, cunt!" he muttered under his breath."Yeah, hot fucking cunt!" he continued, ogling the juicy specimen of beauty displaying herself to his lustful eyes. Her pussy was indeed beautiful -- pink and delicate, with a finely-crafted blond landing-strip, held open by a pair of painted fingers, so that he could gaze into its hot, wet, steamy depths. He stroked his cock in anticipation, feeling his shaft stiffen and grow, and feeling that exquisite yearning sensation spread outwards, filling his body with testosterone-fuelled bliss.The owner of said cunt looked at him seductively, the tip of her tongue gently tracing the outline of her lips, her eyes cheekily inviting, one hand kneading her huge, perfect, surgically-enhanced breasts, as the other continued to hold her fuck-lips wide."Oh, yeah, baby, I'm gonna fuck that cunt so hard," he continued. "I'm gonna ram my fucking cock deep in your hot pussy, I'm gonna feel your juicy cunt around my cock, and then I'm gonna fucking come inside you, I'm gonna spurt all my fucking cum deep in your hot fuck-hole till you scream in pleasure. You want that, baby, you want that?"But there was no answer from the buxom blonde beauty. For she was but a centrefold in a magazine, lying open before him on his bed. One picture among many, actually, for his eiderdown was covered with a selection of his collected periodicals, open to his favourite pages, featuring a variety of nude beauties, all displaying themselves -- he liked to think -- purely for his pleasure.His cock throbbed as he stroked it, thumb and two fingers gently rubbing the glans while the palm of his hand wrapped itself around the shaft. He admired his carefully-ordered "cunt collage" -- as he liked to call it. The buxom blond ("Jenny", according to the caption) occupied pride of place in the centre of his bed. Surrounding her were half a dozen other centrefolds: "Sabrina" -- dark-haired, with huge natural flowing boobs, left hand holding her pussy open whilst one delicate finger of the right curled knuckle-deep into her arsehole; "Brea" -- blonde and skinny, with pert breasts, irresistibly smouldering eyes, and a shaven pussy; "Elsa" -- bleached blond hair, sweet "next-door-girl" smile, hairy blonde cunt with -- "oh fuck!" he muttered, as he felt his cock twitch and jerk in delight -- gorgeous flappy cunt-lips which dangled, glistening with little beads of pussy-juice...He paused his cock-stroking, looking away and upwards at the ceiling, in order to calm himself down: he didn't want to come too soon. Not yet.Just in time, the phone rang. Nervously he scrabbled for the receiver."Hi Jimmyyy!" came the sultry voice he was expecting. "It's Bea here, wiv yer fantasy call.""Bea, how are you?""Oh, Jimmy, I'm feeling so fuckin' horny this evening, I'm been so looking forward to our call.""Talk to me, Bea," said Jimmy, as he resumed slowly massaging his dick."Oh, you know me, Jimmy, I just can't get enough fuckin'. I'm sitting here on my bed, and I'm wearin' this skimpy negligee, and I've shaved my pussy just for you -- and it's so fuckin' wet, Jimmy, I just can't wait for you to ram yer big cock in there. D'ya wanna do that, Jimmyyy?" Bea's voice was warm and breathy -- something she had practised and honed over the months she had been calling him. Jimmy knew that, these days, he could instead be watching a video online, or a camgirl -- but he was a man of habit and tradition, and he loved the way things used to be when he was younger, when porn was always magazines, and audio invariably meant the telephone. And so he sat at the head of his bed, stroking his cock, listening to Bea's breathy seductive personalised filth, whilst he continued to ogle his favourite magazine nudes.As Bea spoke, his eyes continued to roam the pages spread open on the bed: "Codi" -- a ridiculously slender blonde with big fake tits, pouting lips drooling slightly at the sight of her own shaven cunt, spread wide with two delicate hands; "Emma" -- on all fours, so her pussy peeped cheekily out from between her buttocks, crowned by a tight puckered arsehole...Bea was very good too: she knew, after some six months of weekly Friday evening calls to Jimmy, just how he liked it. Jimmy wasn't interested in toys, or blowjobs, or titfucks, or anal, or any other kinks. He liked cunt. He loved cunt. And he adored it when Bea talked cunt: "Jimmyyy..." she breathed, "my pussy's feelin' so hot tonight. Will ya put yer dick in there, Jimmyyy?""It's all for you, Bea," muttered Jimmy, in a half-hearted attempt to play along with the fantasy. Actually, he wasn't much interested in the role-play aspect of things: it was, after all, pure fakery -- but he liked hearing Bea talk dirty, and so he said the minimum required to let her know that she was on the right track, and then revelled in the glorious obscenity of her wall-to-wall aural filth."Oh yeah, that feels so fucking good!" she lied. "Your cock's so fuckin' hard, Jimmy -- I can feel it deep in my cunt, fillin' me up. Go on, Jimmy, slide that huge fuckin' cock in and out of my wet cunt; can ya feel my pussy all hot and juicy for ya?" Jimmy listened, his eyes roving across the collage spread out on the bed before him, imagining what Bea's cunt might be like. Deliberately, he had never asked her, preferring to make it a new cunt each week: last week's choice had been "Cecilia" -- black, shaven, lips teased apart just enough to reveal her juicy pink haven inside; this week, it would be "Jenny".Jimmy loved Bea's voice -- "chavvy South London", he called it, oozing squalor; in his more lucid moments he imagined her as a single mum on the dole in some squalid high-rise council flat in Tooting -- a ne'er-do-well scraping together a living using the only pathetic skill she had. But now she was his tart, his whore, his plaything, his fantasy: she could be anything and everything he imagined. He liked playing this game, as he continued to stroke his dick to ecstasy whilst revelling in Bea's increasingly filthy ongoing monologue. Bea, for her part, was the consummate professional, sensing from Jimmy's pants and grunts just how far he was on his journey to release. And when Jimmy muttered, "Say my favourite things, Bea," she knew just what he meant."You know, Jimmy, I'm a dir'y, filfy, cuntfuckin' whore... That's what I am, Jimmy -- just a cuntfuckin' whore." Jimmy loved those words, and Bea's grimy accent was the icing on the cake: his cock jerked and bucked in response, stiffening even further. "I'm a whore, Jimmyyy. And you like dir'y fuckin' whores, don'tcha? You wanna fuck my filfy cunt wiv 'at big cock?" Jimmy was in ecstasy.Soon Bea had progressed to "My cunt's so fuckin' wet, Jimmy: that's what you do to me, babe. You're gonna make me fuckin' come, Jimmy, 'coz I'm a dir'y, filfy, cuntfuckin' whore, and I'm gonna fuckin' come all over your big cock!" Jimmy took the cue, fixing his eyes on "Jenny's" pussy -- still, of course, reliably wide open and glistening for him -- drinking in its beauty, and gradually ramping up the rhythm of his stroking so as to time his own orgasm to match Bea's ersatz one. And when Bea got to "I'm gonna fuckin' come, Jimmy, here it is baby, come all over ya dir'y filfy cuntfuckin' whore -- oh yeah oh FUUUUUCK!!!" Jimmy did exactly that. He felt the tell-tale boiling sensation in his balls, felt his cum surge and rise through his shaft and explode from his bucking, twitching cockhead."Jenny" was the chosen recipient of Jimmy's cum this evening, six or seven thick ropes of semen splattering over her picture. Jimmy aimed at her cunt, and watched as the likeness of her vulva disappeared under a gloopy coating of semen. Bea was continuing to moan and squeal down the telephone line: "Oh yeah, Jimmy, are ya comin' for me? Does 'at feel good, babe?" as the last few dribbles of sperm landed on "Jenny's" tits and face."Was 'at nice, Jimmyyy?" breathed Bea in her customary breathy tones. "D'ya like comin' in my dir'y hot cunt, Jimmyyy?"Jimmy panted incoherently in reply, his imagination desperately clinging on as long as he could to the illusion of sexual fulfillment. But it was always too short-lived. Even before his cock was flaccid, the illusion was fading and Bea was in business mode: "Same time next week still good for ya, babe? Take it off yer card, yeah?"Jimmy muttered a "Yeah, thanks, Bea," before hanging up and surveying the mess. It never looked as good afterwards as he hoped it would before. Sperm-soiled magazine "Jenny" looked, frankly, ridiculous and tawdry now -- a far cry from the seductive perfection she had exuded when pristine on the page. And wrapping up and disposing of semen-soaked magazine pages was anything but sexy. But Jimmy did so with his customary goal-oriented efficiency, trying to -- and largely succeeding in -- staunching his creeping feeling of shame, until the job was done, his penis was wiped clean, and he had put on his clothes again.Then his collar.And then his cassock.And then Father James Wright knelt on the floor of his bedroom and wept bitterly.~~~~~"Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -- by the Divine Power of God -- cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits, who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of... oh fuck..."Father Jim's voice tailed off. He had performed his morning ablutions, had his breakfast, and said his Office, and was preparing himself by examination of conscience for his weekly two-birds-with-one-stone excursion to the Cathedral -- first to confession, followed by his weekly exorcism training seminar. He usually dressed in civvies for these visits, not wanting to draw attention to himself on public transport -- but he never missed his hebdomadal chance to unburden his soul, and timing it for Saturday mornings made sense. Apart from anything else, this way, he felt less guilty saying the Eucharist over the weekend than if he were to have his Friday evening sins hanging on his conscience.But this morning Father Jim's voice gave up mid-supplication, as the thought impinged upon his intercessions:Am I a hypocrite? Actually, this was a thought which frequently went through his mind. The answer, of course, was yes: regularly, deliberately, and with full foreknowledge, every Friday night -- and he knew it. For hypocrite though he was, he was neither stupid nor deluded. He had learnt to corral his fleshly weakness into one weekly episode, and it would soon be,gratias Deo, effaced from his soul by the Sacrament of Reconciliation -- after which he could continue to pursue his presbyterial vocation with confidence. Until next Friday.Today, though, he felt somewhat less confident than normal, less spiritually bullish, more vulnerable than usual. Perhaps it was the weather -- dull and grey like many an English spring morning -- but it was almost as if he felt that the hosts of Satan were genuinely massing on the horizon, and that he might truly need the intercession of an archangel to forestall the ruin of his soul. In short, Father Jim's carefully calibrated balancing act between spiritual propriety and sexual concupiscence was feeling unaccountably precarious this morning.He was just letting himself out of the presbytery when a young woman came dashing round the corner, her heels clicking unevenly on the pavement. "Father Jim! Father Jim! Oh, I'mso glad I caught you. Please would you hear my confession?" Behind the urgency of her request Jim descried a pleasingly upper middle-class voice ("so" came out a bit like "say") -- but ever so slightly Estuary ("t" in "caught" barely noticeable), as was common with the younger generation.Father Jim thought, but did not say:Oh fuck. He tried not to think swear words between Saturday morning confession and the end of mass on Sunday evening. But he had not been to confession yet, and therefore made the split-second judgment that he may as well, for now, think obscenities. After all, he liked them; he liked the sound of them: "fuck" -- beautiful, he thought. And this young lady was, he thought to himself,"fucking hot". She was slender and small, almost a waif -- and yet her pencil skirt was just a touch too tight, and her blouse ever so slightly translucent, so that the shape of her nipples, puffy and rounded but not huge, made two soft tents in the front of her top.Oops -- he thought, as he felt his penis begin to stir inside his rather ill-fitting trousers. No, it would not do to be groping his cock out of the way in front of a parishioner, so he banished "fucking hot" from his brain with a quick piece of well-practiced spiritual legerdemain, and switched into concerned parish priest mode. He vaguely recognised the girl -- from the back row of the 10:30, perhaps? -- but wasn't sure if they had ever exchanged words. He felt within his rights to say, "I'm actually on my way out now, er..." as he looked at her quizzically with that I've-forgotten-your-name look customarily used by parish priests."Bernadette -- call me Bernie," said the woman, pronouncing the "r" softly but clearly.OK, thought Father Jim.Typical second-generation immigrant. Tries to keep up the religious traditions of the home country, but talks like a Sloane except when asserting her identity. Clearly done well for herself, been to uni. But -- Jim groaned inwardly -- she wasn't taking the hint."Oh please, Father, I really need you to hear my confession, I... I..." Father Jim looked into her eyes for the first time -- and there was that look of moral desperation he was used to seeing in some people. Some could live in their sins for long periods of time before emotional need drove them back to the Church; others, like this girl, presumably, were made of less stern stuff. Her eyes glistened with barely held-back tears, as she continued: "I think I may be under a curse, or a hex, and I... I know you are training to be an exorcist, aren't you?" Her lower lip trembled, as her damp eyes pleaded with him.In the silence of his heart, Father Jim thought to himself:Oh fuck. But he took no pleasure in this particular iteration of his favourite obscenity. He had met this kind of woman before: excessively impressionable, with an inclination to see spiritual warfare lurking under every pebble, when her only problem might a temporary imbalance of hormones.Exorcism? Bullshit. But Jim was, despite his cynicism, a kind man, and so he said, "All right, Bernie. Of course. Let's go in," as he ushered her through his front door. "Face-to-face, or in the box?""Oh, I prefer the old-fashioned way, if that's all right, Father?" she replied sheepishly.He gestured her down the corridor towards the church, and then up the long nave -- pleasantly illumined by the shifting colours which filtered dully through the great east window. As she walked ahead of him, he watched her bottom jiggle gently from side to side, red heels clicking on the stone floor, her medium-length ponytail of light brown hair swishing behind her. Fuck, he thought -- and this time revelled in the thought.Fuck yeah... he muttered silently, his mind's eye briefly, secretly, undressing her from behind."Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," said the girl, once they had both settled into their respective halves of the confessional."How long has --""Oh, over a year, Father." interrupted Bernie. "I've got a lot of catching up to do."Fuck, thought Father Jim. But, because he was basically a kind-hearted man, he instead said: "Well, take your time. It is good that God has called you back to the Sacrament now.""Thank you, Father." He heard Bernie take a deep breath. "I... I'm married..." she ventured cautiously. "But I've not been strictly... faithful..." There was a long pause.Ho ho, I knew it, thought Jim.Another pretty young slut, got hitched too soon, screwing around behind her husband's back. Two a penny. Had one just last week, didn't I? But instead he said, "And how long have you been having this affair?""Oh, it's not an affair, Father," said the girl. "It's kind of a weird binge, a bit... perverted, if you know what I mean. On the rebound, I guess, because I walked in on my husband, you know -- with someone else..."Oh shit, thought Father Jim.This'll take all morning. Web of adultery -- seen it all before. One fucks around, the other goes off the rails, and soon they're all crotch-deep in moral turpitude. Why do they even bother to get married if they've got no continence? Should try and be celibate -- then they'll learn how lucky they are... All that passed through his mind in an instant, but of course he voiced none of it."You see," continued Bernie, "we were married a year ago -- here, before you came: Father Peter married us -- and, well, I thought it was going so well. We... we were really good in bed, you know... I mean, we really liked the sex and everything."Too much information! thought Jim to himself. But he did not say that either."You know, I was a virgin when we got married. I'd saved myself up for this. And the first time, it was wonderful. You know, for some girls it hurts? But for me it was bliss. He just slid in, and I loved it. And we loved it -- just like that, in and out, you know?"Father Jim felt his cock begin to stir. It was the inevitable involuntary reaction to a sexual confession which was becoming just a touch too detailed.Fuck, girl, why are you telling me all this? he thought. But Bernie continued to jabber, exuding, though unseen, an air of wide-eyed innocence from behind her latticed screen."But then Giles started wanting me to do things I didn't want to -- you know, oral, and anal, and stuff -- and I really wasn't comfortable with it, so we had a few arguments about that. "I mean, when he wanted me to give him a blowjob, you know, he'd just pull down his trousers and waggle the thing in front of my face..."Too much fucking information! Jim screeched in the silence of his own heart. But he couldn't stop himself imagining the husband's cock, stiff and huge, waggling back and forth in front of Bernie's pretty face, her narrow mouth opening wider, wider, her tongue extending to lick pre-cum off the frenulum before her lips softly enclosed the...Fuck, Jim, pull yourself together, man! he thought, as he felt his cock begin to make an uncomfortable tent in his trousers. He stammered out loud, "Er... sister, you don't need to tell me all that, you know, just stick to...""Oh, but it's important, Father," came Bernie's voice. "Because that's what led to it. I told him I didn't like sucking him off, but he kept trying to persuade me, and I kept saying no..." Father Jim imagined he detected the faintest hint of a smirk in her tone -- but of course it was impossible to tell..."And then," continued Bernie, "there was the anal. Sometimes when we were making love he'd wet his finger with... well, you know... and then he'd reach round and try to stick it in there. I really didn't like it -- and of course he never forced me; I mean, he's a kind man, he'd never do anything nasty -- but it was clear he was disappointed..."Oh Jesus motherfucking Christ, thought Father Jim. His cock was stiff now, and he could feel his own pre-cum beginning to leak slowly from his glans. He reached down to adjust his cock inside his trousers, and inevitably his hand lingered just a bit too long, grasping his own erect shaft through the fabric and squeezing it gently. That familiar thrill of pleasure surged through him -- but he made himself let go, telling himself: Later, Jim, later. Just get this girl through her confession for now..."But the strangest thing of all, Father," Bernie continued unabated, "was when he'd want me to talk dirty to him, you know?"Are you kidding? thought Jim incredulously. Do you think that just because I'm a priest I don't have male blood boiling in my veins? What are you on about, girl?!Bernie seemed oblivious to her confessor's discomfort. Either that, or she was deliberately winding him up -- he couldn't tell for sure. "See, Father," she continued, "he'd ask me to say dirty words, like... 'tits'... and 'pussy'... and..." -- her voice lingered a while on the first consonant -- "'ffffuck'."In an instant, Father Jim's resistance crumbled. That word was his favourite, a glorious fillip to all that was unholy and self-indulgent in the deepest recesses of his mind, and it banished all his residual will-power to the four winds. He quietly but swiftly unzipped his fly, removed his stiff sweaty cock from its prison, pulled back the damp pre-cum-lubricated foreskin, and began to slowly wank his shaft up and down, his lips trembling, his breath coming in ragged bursts. This was wrong. This was so wrong -- he knew it, of course. But he was going to do it anyway. This girl could not possibly be for real. This was no sacrament, this was an ambush. The Evil One was tempting him, and he was succumbing. And he fucking loved it..."See, Father Jim, it must be something about men, they all like those dirty words so much. My husband did: he wanted me to say things like" -- Bernie lowered her voice conspiratorially -- "'Ram your fucking cock in my pussy, baby!' and 'Fuck my hot cunt with that big dick!' Things like that... Do you like hearing things like that, Father?" Bernie's voice was hot and breathy now. Her prey was in her grasp, and she was playing with him: Jim knew it -- but, though he had no idea why this woman had chosen to ambush him in this manner, he knew it was too late. He groaned, as he felt his cock stiffen further in his sweaty palm, felt his heart pound faster with excitement."I'm sure we could have worked things out, Father. You know, I got quite used to the dirty talk -- that was quite fun actually. But the oral, and the anal -- no way. He'd show me videos on the internet, you know -- porn? Girls getting fucked in the arse, and taking cocks down their throats -- and it just looked so horrible and painful and disgusting. And then he'd show me videos of group sex, and asked if I'd ever like to do stuff like that -- and I said no! And then, to show him I really loved him, I'd let him fuck me. I mean, I really loved it when he fucked me: when his cock was all huge and stiff, and then he'd lie me on my back and fuck me all deep and squelchy. Sometimes he'd lie flat on me and grind the base of his cock against my clit to make me come. Sometimes he'd shift down, so his cockhead found my G-spot. Sometimes he'd flip me over and do me doggy. Sometimes I'd go on top and drive him wild, teasing him with my wet pussy lips before plunging down onto this cock. And I loved all that, Father, I did, truly. Cock in cunt -- that's the way it's meant to be, isn't it? I mean, that's the way God made us, isn't it?"Father Jim groaned at the absurdity of his situation. Here was a young girl giving him lessons in Saint John Paul's Theology of the Body, while he stroked his cock in the confessional -- what the fuck was going on?! But he couldn't stop now. His cock was raging, his balls were aching, and his thoughts were in mindfuck mode. Here was a girl after his own heart, one who loved being fucked in the cunt, and who loved to talk filthy. "Oh yeah, oh fuck, oh God..." he muttered incoherently in his ecstasy."You OK in there, Father Jim?" giggled the girl. "I'm sorry for being so explicit, but -- I kind of have to, you'll see why soon, I'll explain..."You don't have to explain, thought Father Jim -- as far as he was capable of thinking anything at all, for he was past thinking now. His mind was now fixed firmly on cunt, on fucking cunt, just like this girl was saying: cock slip-sliding in and out, grinding against engorged clit-flesh. It didn't matter whose cunt: his years of fake fantasy sex, week after week of dirty pictures -- "Jenny" or "Codi" or "Elsa" or whoever the fuck they were; or of listening to "Bea" recycling her mind-banked fuck-fantasies for his delectation -- all this had inured him to the sheer fakery of being a sex-obsessed celibate. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered now, except the filth-filled moment.

Nick Kunze from Sanlam Private Wealth discusses Coronation's victory in its case against Sars. Steven Brown from Fortress provides insights on the company's five-month update, while Schroders' Sebastian Mullins explains the implications of the latest positive economic data for the Federal Reserve.

Sai Psy. See you in seven years, then. You're so silly— I'm not going to live seven more years. We'll see about that. You will see. I'll be dead. So I'll be dead. So it is. A summer hiatus, Vacations in Prague, yes Let's pray for the rest of us A sign of the times and a coming of ages Who made you famous again As the rest of us I don't like it As much as I'd like to Keep writing Keep finding the reason to die and you're blinded by kindnesses And I ams I woke up in the 9th dimension, As an infinite friend Familiar with my kitchen JOHN SLATTERY An interesting thing happened this morning. What's that, John? I woke up as John Slattery Just remember what love holds The death of a salesman, rechargeable batteries This walk could take forever in designer jeans Another day in slave hell The controllers controlling And Satan is Sataning Seems like a time to go clubbing It's a simple kind of depression Resting on your head when All you simply wished is the taste of flesh The freedom of skin And the lather of love— Or blood spatter on the pavement Aim for the head If the door's fixed, then we'll break it again Look what greed does I hate lazy days in Manhattan Cause I've never had one What happened on the way to the forum I was starstruck; Five finger death punch Right in the heart I wish I was punctual Right on time for lunch Don't you want to talk to someone more pungent? Don't you got models to robot? Don't you know I never want to hurt you But you know, I'm going to hurt you. You know I'm going to hurt you Now, the review: Sooner or later, I fall over your world Good dudes in drags Good food for thought I'm a dog With the wrong parts You should take Kanye to the mall With a migrants lanyard (The migrants are anarchists! Good one, God) This one goes to. | this one fist, from Which one are you ? I guess we are one in the same It's a famous radio tower Live up to your name Go sell your flower for flour As I stand at the jumping point Eye on Manhattan, The wind beneath my wings Distracting myself from the mansion I haven't The mason jars I ought to buy for bargain The brain and brain cereal I left at the market I used to love Brandy Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome “The Album I Wrote On My Way To The Rock To Return Amazon Purchases No Longer Wanted” That's a really long album title. I didn't imagine I'd write this much Just trying not to imagine this man in his under pants, Or what have you (I'm just a fan) I'm just a dad hunched over in the bathroom Must have been the magic of my backhand, backfired Must have come untied and undone, under the rainbow Must me on my way to Manhattan For some blacklist event. Where I'm from The A List Is a face No name needed “Oh, I know who you are” If I purchased a car today I might get done paying it off By my 81st birthday. Shady. If I had a penny for every mistake I made, I would probably be Nameless. If there was a namesake to lay me into my grave, it would make sense; Yes, let's move the train for a moment With the doors still open. — I'd like to watch what happens. So what happens when the sun comes up On the only body you've ever known And no one wants it What happens with a dude named Starr Punches you over and over again And then no one loves you (That's starstruck, your honor) What happens when granted a pardon for passions And everything happens after is magic What happens when all you want is to go manic To finish the album And just feel good again What happens when the algorithm has Al Gore in it? What happens when the rhythm in blues is just the attraction of random black men and their concubine counterparts? Huh, what happens! What happens, Kanye? What happens, the God? What happens when all that you want is a disgusting assumption of. No on can trust you And nobody loves you Since it was simply a tryst Put this at a distance. Where did my energy disappear to! Where in the fear is my other earring? Fuck. Be somewhere, anywhere else but your office, for the moment. Be anyone but a mother, Anywhere but your apartment— It hurts, the construction. Someone doesn't something Nobody knows nothing about me, But what I put in this caskets (This podcast) Oh hey, I got fuck muscles from fuckin myself now! I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't have sex! For real! Heal, Oh great dragon, HEAL, BITCH. Word. woof for the world Will for the wolf; Rain on the roof. Cobain don't have a God (Or a Gun, if you wanted that one) “Pull me up, God, I'm done under here” He called in I followed the fosters to farrow And got better I got better and bitter much quicker and Never in bed had I been as flexible As to kiss his chest As I kicked my own neck With my left foot. What the fucjing fairyshit is that. There, I fixed it. Fixed what. I don't know what. But I fixed it. I know, huh! So be 110 and flexible Powerlift tectonic plates Do Pilates And make waffles!? Alright, I can do that But only as Jennifer Aniston I'd like to take back that Fallon I bought at the black market He's broken. I like his band tho— The one on the left hand, Over the damaged one. Are you on to that? Says the sayer, Son of Sam So Sai the sage Sets the stage Is that the plan? Never fall for a man, Even over an alter And tied by the hands. All I see in my initials initially is B Minor 16 might be minors, guys But she's creaming to find you At the front lines Life of a superstar DJ At the cross roads Or the turnstiles How do you turn bile into Beguiling Without rifling a few feathers Or looking into the eye of the rifle And dying first Don't you let that tear fall from you onto the M Train. I'm just training for fame And hating you ever day Since we made it Love Get out of my way, Satan I'm staying I'm saying your name sake insanely Please break me Like a chicken leg Or just shake me from this existence Since I don't seem fit for it Anymore than I fit that Givchechy dress you gave that blonde, right? Am I dying! Or just dying inside Fuck coughs If you want him enough to. Use black magic To do that to me, wait till it falls back on you, You gross hag If god hates fags as much as he hates blacks We should fly flags over the haggis I made Alice When she's back from her adventures in wonderland No wonder you're a Monro Crossed over from O'Fallons It's an old warfare with two clans From the old countries With no borders Or border collies Laboradores And labirites, likely As Aphrodite is to smite me So here comes DJ Francis With his new black girlfriend Just kidding We all know in his world It's cold and broken With nothing but blue eyes And big wild to look over you Bro, standing up is not going to make this train go anywhere. I almost promise you. Turns out there's no such thing as a quick trip to the rock. Turns out you'll sit stuck in your own sick God as my witness For screenshotting those ass pictures —that's somebody's kids, dick. tick tok has no limits. VO Of course, The day and time I should have to go to Rockerfeller Plaza quickly, quietly and unseen, the train is magically destined not to move. I've been sitting here at least a half hour, with no end in sight— The doors close and the train begins moving. Hahaha Fucking hilarious, God. I've been avoiding The Rock like the plague— Not that I think anything would happen at all upon arrival— who am I, anyway? Nobody important. There she goes. Still, I've written enough about it, and the people inside and around it, That the place makes me nervous. More nervous than ever, that is, actually— I always felt weird in the place. [flashbacks] When I first got to New York, I would end up there on accident. Completely by accident. Lost. Faulty navigation. Hackers: Whatever. I always just— By complete fucking accident Ended up at Rockerfeller Plaza The city slips over us, as the train sinks back underground — I'm facing the city now, As not to be reminded of my abuser's toxic words and toxic hands, By dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpacks Still, etched into the subway walls Are two stars, which remind me to repeat the mantra: Starr Michael Roberts is a pedophile wifebeater Less of a manta than the truest words ever spoken, But that's all the shape of a five point star means to me now or will ever mean to me And to think, The American flag has 50 of the 50 wife beating pedophile men On a red white and blue flag That waves just to remind me I was born a fat ugly noack woman To be a slave And there's no one to save us I want to senselessly beat the man in the dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpack Just like I was beaten senselessly by the man called Starr, The devil in disguise as my first love Still trying to chase my soul from its dream Back into his nightmarish under realms of unhygienic hatred, vomit stained rugs And poss stained couches, Phlegm on the walls and Nothing on but Diablo And old episodes of the sopranos. —but I still love the sopranos; And I still love my one and only Good thing that ever happened From an awful marriage That buried me wonder what's on this side of the train to write Maybe nothing Nothing I like, anyway Some guy that just thinks imm some ugly black bitch Of course All the white rich dudes Are horrible I miss the poor surfers Blowing blunts and wishing they was with blondes, With me tucked under their arms I need a tummy tuck to find love Goddamn, Imm miserable just sitting here At least I get a glance at her The tattooed God With the pink hair Where's Wanda Sai the Saige Don't say ahit Unless its music Sai the Saige says Turn the page For more sermons Sai the Saige sings her words carefully Write forwards for whole books in four words Four worlds down, Now four more. That's a world tour. Lil biiiiiiitzzz Bro, I might never have sex again. There's a new STD on the loose And patient zero is a white man from New York in his 30's FUCKING GROSS. Where's wanda Where's Waldo Ah FUCK I got your wallet WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. SOMETHING which one are you?! Nothing, nobody. Sunni?! I'm not Sonny, you're Sonny. I'm not— Don't say it Whatever Where is it? Where's what? The rock You're on the rock! I that's not — Stop it what I meant! Which one are you— Who are you 8mm I'm the cosmic— Whatever the fuck. Gimmie the rock Get off of me I think too much I think I have a disease I think too much But I don't think much of me It's just as much as I want A three musketeers bar, That's far fetched For a vegan With 12 dollars in the budget For the rest of the month Goddamn. One down 20 to go Call someone To take your husband Home I'm drunk m I'm stuck in this thought At the bottom of the rock Damn. 8 always get lost here Not today though, I hope Follow the smell of coffe tbigg us h the open doors This the stairs up a couple stores. Muscle memory l Wait. Are there stairs to the top of the rock? I would walk them Shazam, what's this lame ass fucking song? Ugh, at least I have muscle memory. OUCH, COME ON. OUCH. Come with me. Ugh. I have so fuck to do. Okay, now what do I do? Just jump! That seems like a bad idea. It's the only idea you've got. That's not even my idea! —but it's the only idea you've got! OKAY, I've got an idea! What's it? Wtf, I've never even seen this many people here. What is this, a field trip. GODDAMIT JUST JMP. i can't, I'm scared! Okay. Then I'll push you. M No don't *push* helicopter: fluh-fluh-fluh- THERE HE IS— WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AGHHHHHHHH. GISNT BIRD OF PREHy- SNATCH. GODDAMN Turn sim down Okay, how much. Just a little How's that That's better. Okay. Look, I am not interested in you. I get that, Jimmy Fallon. I am just doing my job, okay. I get it, Jim. Okay?! Do you understand. I understand. Okay? Okay. Okay. So what is your job, exactly? I keep my mouth shut, Hands fisted misdirected, But staying on track Thank god they put this shit here Hands in my pocket equals words h documented I can't help but to admit I almost want even writing before this Now fast forward Every time I'm under this, it feels like I'm already in my own show or something Of course, I used to love a good revolving door Shit I used to love at all Man! I hate the rock! Why. Cause fuck Jimmy Fallon, that's why! why?! CAUSE. Look, the you from the other dimension should be coming around that corner any minute. Okay, for what. To use the restroom. Make sure she They: What. Me is a “they” Whatever. I love the rush of death telling me to jump as the oncoming train approaches from behind me I could be blinded by the light. Look, 6'3 God knows what I need And that makes history Make sure when you when she goes into the bathroom, find Fallon and give him the— I know what to do. Alright, YO. NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm married with a family! I don't find you attractive! At all! I know that, asshole! I only want you for your fame and money! Wait, really? No, you handsome basta'd! Goddammit… Goddammit! Sunni!? I knew that was you! It is me—but the other me is somewhere, so take this—quickly back to the 4th dimension—- This is the fourth dimension! Wait, it is?! YES. What dimension did you think it was The 8th! The 8th?! THAT EXISTS?! yeah!!! Where the fuck are you from?! The third, I thought! Thank god, here's this fucking train. Well, fuck off, then! I gotta go find the 8th dimensional Jimmy Fallon! What! For what?! That's priveleged information Ascended extraterrestrials only, broh! Woah, woah, woah, don't “bro” me. I said “broh” What?! That's what I said— No, you said— Whatever. “Broh”,— —now you said it— —I'm coming with you— Don't be homo. —but, you're a woman, I thought. That's what's you think. That's what the tabloids said… You wanna know what the tabloids said about you? In which dimension? Right?! Now shut up. Come on. [they move quickly towards the— Towards the where? I don't know. I've only ever been at the bottom of the rock: I don't get it. If the antenna is on the top, Then why did my vibe go. GLUH. Sorry: No , that's a lot; what is that: —you really think imm handsome? I think you're an asshole. I hate writing at the rock (Launching to onesel.) You look ridiculous. At least i can just write it off to “Mental Health Problems” MEANWHILE Check it out. The devil is following me. What. Wanna see. What the FUCK is that? He wants my soul. WOAH. Yeah, cool, right. No! Yeah it is… What the hell happened I aucked him off once: You what. Calm down. I didn't know it was the devil. Holy! It's was un Unholy See. Damn Satan,!697 are fucking gross. Yeah. Nice tattoos though. I thought you'd like this. I do. Who's your body? Some drunk. The alcoholics are so easy. What about my soul. What about your soul, dude? Why doesn't he want my soul? He already has your soul. What?! I never sold my soled my soul. That's what you think. Oh, I get it comcast owns Jimmy Fallon. Actually, Nancy Drew does, or whatever. What's her name Nancy! HUH- what!! DREW BARRYMORE. GET IN HERE!!!! woah. Okay. I gotta get back to the 90's. Why! I left my DREW BARRYMORE GODDAMIT. Sorry, JUST GET OUT. She is cute, though. She's so fucking cute. Hey, What. Put me on your hit list, For what. Cause. No way, dude. So it's this Nancy Drew Character Uh huh. Then Comcast Correct. Then NBC/Universal. uh-huh Then Lorne Michaels— Wait Correct. Fuck man. So you mean the portion of Jimmy Fallon I won in that game of 8 dimensional poker is pretty much nothin. It's pretty much— Worthless. Not worthless. What are you saying— I'm saying— I'm not a real woman I just saw a real woman With a long skirt And a body worthy of love Beautiful hair And face like porcelain Nothing upon the sleeves strewn in ink Petite I could never be a real woman Actually, you know what. I could have worn anything But I'm not showing up for anything at Rockerfeller Plaza dressed like my inner cunslut YOUR “INNER” CUMSLUT THAT WSS AWESOME I know, God. *belches juicy semen, slurps* You're—a fucking awful person, though, just awful. I know. Just—disgusting. Yeah, but— —that was the best blowjob I ever had Yep. *burps—slurps* ufgh. —and you swallowed all of it. I don't know how! Both: That's was so much! Haha yeah: Jinx! You owe me a blowjob. Okay! You're fucking gross. Yeah. Oh wow. That went deep. I mean, not really “deep” it went aural. *oral* I swear to god if you publish this POSTED DAMN. that dude is good looking. Why is he dating someone that looks like a mouseS Maybe he's into mouce face I guess. I'm into mouse face. [deadmau5] Be nice. Hey! What: what do you want That guys an asshole! Duh! Okay. I love white people But they're weird sometimes I was lookin at this dude on the train Like real hard, And I swear to God, I couldn't tell if that was his girl Or his twin sister I was like What I the fuck am I lookin at Idk but I like it It's almost refreshing to see sliders that aren't made of plastic or whatever awful material OH. CONAN O BRIEN YEAH. But mad young. That's— LUCIFER! Hahahaha what GET BACK HERE. DAMN. That's one good looking kid. Dammit dammit dammit A bunch of handsome white dudes I want nothing to do with It's true I do like the fame The power The respect The money, I could give or take Or make my own Just so you'll date me The power, I like The respect and the fame So your name came and went with the hour l And the sunset I might take walk in the rain Because my body is ugly And I just want to be loved A husband Two dogs And pushing a stroller Of course, there's the part that just wants to have fun Get fucked up Love someone I trust enough To rub against Without a rubber Against the grain Our heads together He grabs the back of my neck And I just can't handle it Fuck. I love mad men— and I love men when they're mad Especially Fallon That's somebody's dad in the bathtub, yeah mate Somebody back at the opera Probably phantoms There you go You've got you a girl So grab her hand And hold onto her Don't let her know If yo love or fuck someone else Just for the fun of it Don't break her head and her heart at the same time She might not come back from it Like I never did I never came back I was punched in the face maybe 5 Or like 6 times Before I got up, became Skrillex, went for a a run with the dogs And then did it again Never was god, though I got a lot of problems I love the waterfront But no one loves me I'm left in the lobby a lot Like Mikey, in that one song I guess I'm destiny Or perhaps I'm your density Once upon a time, I walked here Once a upon a time, I worked here, Shout out to number six. This one is sung for you This verse undoes the hex. Remind me to get your mom hallmark cart, someone uttered I fucking love her Remember to stop at the shopping carts before you long walk home Almost hoping you're soaked in the strange acid rai. So hard You forget what your name is I spent a whole plot of a film Just trying to be famous Luckily, I think The Tonight Show stops taping in the summer, So with any luck, The real Jimmy Fallon is somewhere in Greece or some shit Rich assholes and their summer vacations— I'm guessing, But still unwavering in the back of my mind somewhere That no matter what, Whenever I'm at 30 Rock, I'm being watched. The entire cast of 30 rock is watching the legends saga in 3D, along with some of the keynote cast of Saturday night live— Don't be selfish I'm not. I don't know what else I used to watched that's owned by this media conglomerate ahem. SLASH/Universal. Oh, so we are doing this back to the future revamp depends, are you gonna keep being fat, Or be spry, like Marty McFly And just for the fuck of it, You're the new Hanson in the new 21 Jumpstreet Movie SUNNI BLU Aight, SUPA Dammit. TINA FEY Do you smell donuts. LIZ LEMON no, it's cookies Follow the smell of the cookies. I get it. I got it. Try to remain unseen! LOOK AT ME. I'M AT THE BASE OF A GIANT PE— COCK. LUTZ When's the action?! Notes: Chocolate man makes everything chocolate Okay. That's stupid. Chocolate! Chocolate! Uhhh—- What are you doing here?!? I work here…what are you doing here? I have tenure. *purses lips* [tina tries to hide the entire cast Reunion of late 90s/early 2000's SNL cast members behind her (Nervously) tah—uh; I thought you were on vacation. I redacted it. What does that mean? I know what it means. Mm. What does that mean. I read the comics. I have something to tell you. Okay, what. It can't be over the phone. Okay. Where the firefighters is? I got some propolis cough syrup for the stalkers [The Festival Project™]# {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

Sai Psy. See you in seven years, then. You're so silly— I'm not going to live seven more years. We'll see about that. You will see. I'll be dead. So I'll be dead. So it is. A summer hiatus, Vacations in Prague, yes Let's pray for the rest of us A sign of the times and a coming of ages Who made you famous again As the rest of us I don't like it As much as I'd like to Keep writing Keep finding the reason to die and you're blinded by kindnesses And I ams I woke up in the 9th dimension, As an infinite friend Familiar with my kitchen JOHN SLATTERY An interesting thing happened this morning. What's that, John? I woke up as John Slattery Just remember what love holds The death of a salesman, rechargeable batteries This walk could take forever in designer jeans Another day in slave hell The controllers controlling And Satan is Sataning Seems like a time to go clubbing It's a simple kind of depression Resting on your head when All you simply wished is the taste of flesh The freedom of skin And the lather of love— Or blood spatter on the pavement Aim for the head If the door's fixed, then we'll break it again Look what greed does I hate lazy days in Manhattan Cause I've never had one What happened on the way to the forum I was starstruck; Five finger death punch Right in the heart I wish I was punctual Right on time for lunch Don't you want to talk to someone more pungent? Don't you got models to robot? Don't you know I never want to hurt you But you know, I'm going to hurt you. You know I'm going to hurt you Now, the review: Sooner or later, I fall over your world Good dudes in drags Good food for thought I'm a dog With the wrong parts You should take Kanye to the mall With a migrants lanyard (The migrants are anarchists! Good one, God) This one goes to. | this one fist, from Which one are you ? I guess we are one in the same It's a famous radio tower Live up to your name Go sell your flower for flour As I stand at the jumping point Eye on Manhattan, The wind beneath my wings Distracting myself from the mansion I haven't The mason jars I ought to buy for bargain The brain and brain cereal I left at the market I used to love Brandy Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome “The Album I Wrote On My Way To The Rock To Return Amazon Purchases No Longer Wanted” That's a really long album title. I didn't imagine I'd write this much Just trying not to imagine this man in his under pants, Or what have you (I'm just a fan) I'm just a dad hunched over in the bathroom Must have been the magic of my backhand, backfired Must have come untied and undone, under the rainbow Must me on my way to Manhattan For some blacklist event. Where I'm from The A List Is a face No name needed “Oh, I know who you are” If I purchased a car today I might get done paying it off By my 81st birthday. Shady. If I had a penny for every mistake I made, I would probably be Nameless. If there was a namesake to lay me into my grave, it would make sense; Yes, let's move the train for a moment With the doors still open. — I'd like to watch what happens. So what happens when the sun comes up On the only body you've ever known And no one wants it What happens with a dude named Starr Punches you over and over again And then no one loves you (That's starstruck, your honor) What happens when granted a pardon for passions And everything happens after is magic What happens when all you want is to go manic To finish the album And just feel good again What happens when the algorithm has Al Gore in it? What happens when the rhythm in blues is just the attraction of random black men and their concubine counterparts? Huh, what happens! What happens, Kanye? What happens, the God? What happens when all that you want is a disgusting assumption of. No on can trust you And nobody loves you Since it was simply a tryst Put this at a distance. Where did my energy disappear to! Where in the fear is my other earring? Fuck. Be somewhere, anywhere else but your office, for the moment. Be anyone but a mother, Anywhere but your apartment— It hurts, the construction. Someone doesn't something Nobody knows nothing about me, But what I put in this caskets (This podcast) Oh hey, I got fuck muscles from fuckin myself now! I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't have sex! For real! Heal, Oh great dragon, HEAL, BITCH. Word. woof for the world Will for the wolf; Rain on the roof. Cobain don't have a God (Or a Gun, if you wanted that one) “Pull me up, God, I'm done under here” He called in I followed the fosters to farrow And got better I got better and bitter much quicker and Never in bed had I been as flexible As to kiss his chest As I kicked my own neck With my left foot. What the fucjing fairyshit is that. There, I fixed it. Fixed what. I don't know what. But I fixed it. I know, huh! So be 110 and flexible Powerlift tectonic plates Do Pilates And make waffles!? Alright, I can do that But only as Jennifer Aniston I'd like to take back that Fallon I bought at the black market He's broken. I like his band tho— The one on the left hand, Over the damaged one. Are you on to that? Says the sayer, Son of Sam So Sai the sage Sets the stage Is that the plan? Never fall for a man, Even over an alter And tied by the hands. All I see in my initials initially is B Minor 16 might be minors, guys But she's creaming to find you At the front lines Life of a superstar DJ At the cross roads Or the turnstiles How do you turn bile into Beguiling Without rifling a few feathers Or looking into the eye of the rifle And dying first Don't you let that tear fall from you onto the M Train. I'm just training for fame And hating you ever day Since we made it Love Get out of my way, Satan I'm staying I'm saying your name sake insanely Please break me Like a chicken leg Or just shake me from this existence Since I don't seem fit for it Anymore than I fit that Givchechy dress you gave that blonde, right? Am I dying! Or just dying inside Fuck coughs If you want him enough to. Use black magic To do that to me, wait till it falls back on you, You gross hag If god hates fags as much as he hates blacks We should fly flags over the haggis I made Alice When she's back from her adventures in wonderland No wonder you're a Monro Crossed over from O'Fallons It's an old warfare with two clans From the old countries With no borders Or border collies Laboradores And labirites, likely As Aphrodite is to smite me So here comes DJ Francis With his new black girlfriend Just kidding We all know in his world It's cold and broken With nothing but blue eyes And big wild to look over you Bro, standing up is not going to make this train go anywhere. I almost promise you. Turns out there's no such thing as a quick trip to the rock. Turns out you'll sit stuck in your own sick God as my witness For screenshotting those ass pictures —that's somebody's kids, dick. tick tok has no limits. VO Of course, The day and time I should have to go to Rockerfeller Plaza quickly, quietly and unseen, the train is magically destined not to move. I've been sitting here at least a half hour, with no end in sight— The doors close and the train begins moving. Hahaha Fucking hilarious, God. I've been avoiding The Rock like the plague— Not that I think anything would happen at all upon arrival— who am I, anyway? Nobody important. There she goes. Still, I've written enough about it, and the people inside and around it, That the place makes me nervous. More nervous than ever, that is, actually— I always felt weird in the place. [flashbacks] When I first got to New York, I would end up there on accident. Completely by accident. Lost. Faulty navigation. Hackers: Whatever. I always just— By complete fucking accident Ended up at Rockerfeller Plaza The city slips over us, as the train sinks back underground — I'm facing the city now, As not to be reminded of my abuser's toxic words and toxic hands, By dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpacks Still, etched into the subway walls Are two stars, which remind me to repeat the mantra: Starr Michael Roberts is a pedophile wifebeater Less of a manta than the truest words ever spoken, But that's all the shape of a five point star means to me now or will ever mean to me And to think, The American flag has 50 of the 50 wife beating pedophile men On a red white and blue flag That waves just to remind me I was born a fat ugly noack woman To be a slave And there's no one to save us I want to senselessly beat the man in the dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpack Just like I was beaten senselessly by the man called Starr, The devil in disguise as my first love Still trying to chase my soul from its dream Back into his nightmarish under realms of unhygienic hatred, vomit stained rugs And poss stained couches, Phlegm on the walls and Nothing on but Diablo And old episodes of the sopranos. —but I still love the sopranos; And I still love my one and only Good thing that ever happened From an awful marriage That buried me wonder what's on this side of the train to write Maybe nothing Nothing I like, anyway Some guy that just thinks imm some ugly black bitch Of course All the white rich dudes Are horrible I miss the poor surfers Blowing blunts and wishing they was with blondes, With me tucked under their arms I need a tummy tuck to find love Goddamn, Imm miserable just sitting here At least I get a glance at her The tattooed God With the pink hair Where's Wanda Sai the Saige Don't say ahit Unless its music Sai the Saige says Turn the page For more sermons Sai the Saige sings her words carefully Write forwards for whole books in four words Four worlds down, Now four more. That's a world tour. Lil biiiiiiitzzz Bro, I might never have sex again. There's a new STD on the loose And patient zero is a white man from New York in his 30's FUCKING GROSS. Where's wanda Where's Waldo Ah FUCK I got your wallet WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. SOMETHING which one are you?! Nothing, nobody. Sunni?! I'm not Sonny, you're Sonny. I'm not— Don't say it Whatever Where is it? Where's what? The rock You're on the rock! I that's not — Stop it what I meant! Which one are you— Who are you 8mm I'm the cosmic— Whatever the fuck. Gimmie the rock Get off of me I think too much I think I have a disease I think too much But I don't think much of me It's just as much as I want A three musketeers bar, That's far fetched For a vegan With 12 dollars in the budget For the rest of the month Goddamn. One down 20 to go Call someone To take your husband Home I'm drunk m I'm stuck in this thought At the bottom of the rock Damn. 8 always get lost here Not today though, I hope Follow the smell of coffe tbigg us h the open doors This the stairs up a couple stores. Muscle memory l Wait. Are there stairs to the top of the rock? I would walk them Shazam, what's this lame ass fucking song? Ugh, at least I have muscle memory. OUCH, COME ON. OUCH. Come with me. Ugh. I have so fuck to do. Okay, now what do I do? Just jump! That seems like a bad idea. It's the only idea you've got. That's not even my idea! —but it's the only idea you've got! OKAY, I've got an idea! What's it? Wtf, I've never even seen this many people here. What is this, a field trip. GODDAMIT JUST JMP. i can't, I'm scared! Okay. Then I'll push you. M No don't *push* helicopter: fluh-fluh-fluh- THERE HE IS— WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AGHHHHHHHH. GISNT BIRD OF PREHy- SNATCH. GODDAMN Turn sim down Okay, how much. Just a little How's that That's better. Okay. Look, I am not interested in you. I get that, Jimmy Fallon. I am just doing my job, okay. I get it, Jim. Okay?! Do you understand. I understand. Okay? Okay. Okay. So what is your job, exactly? I keep my mouth shut, Hands fisted misdirected, But staying on track Thank god they put this shit here Hands in my pocket equals words h documented I can't help but to admit I almost want even writing before this Now fast forward Every time I'm under this, it feels like I'm already in my own show or something Of course, I used to love a good revolving door Shit I used to love at all Man! I hate the rock! Why. Cause fuck Jimmy Fallon, that's why! why?! CAUSE. Look, the you from the other dimension should be coming around that corner any minute. Okay, for what. To use the restroom. Make sure she They: What. Me is a “they” Whatever. I love the rush of death telling me to jump as the oncoming train approaches from behind me I could be blinded by the light. Look, 6'3 God knows what I need And that makes history Make sure when you when she goes into the bathroom, find Fallon and give him the— I know what to do. Alright, YO. NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm married with a family! I don't find you attractive! At all! I know that, asshole! I only want you for your fame and money! Wait, really? No, you handsome basta'd! Goddammit… Goddammit! Sunni!? I knew that was you! It is me—but the other me is somewhere, so take this—quickly back to the 4th dimension—- This is the fourth dimension! Wait, it is?! YES. What dimension did you think it was The 8th! The 8th?! THAT EXISTS?! yeah!!! Where the fuck are you from?! The third, I thought! Thank god, here's this fucking train. Well, fuck off, then! I gotta go find the 8th dimensional Jimmy Fallon! What! For what?! That's priveleged information Ascended extraterrestrials only, broh! Woah, woah, woah, don't “bro” me. I said “broh” What?! That's what I said— No, you said— Whatever. “Broh”,— —now you said it— —I'm coming with you— Don't be homo. —but, you're a woman, I thought. That's what's you think. That's what the tabloids said… You wanna know what the tabloids said about you? In which dimension? Right?! Now shut up. Come on. [they move quickly towards the— Towards the where? I don't know. I've only ever been at the bottom of the rock: I don't get it. If the antenna is on the top, Then why did my vibe go. GLUH. Sorry: No , that's a lot; what is that: —you really think imm handsome? I think you're an asshole. I hate writing at the rock (Launching to onesel.) You look ridiculous. At least i can just write it off to “Mental Health Problems” MEANWHILE Check it out. The devil is following me. What. Wanna see. What the FUCK is that? He wants my soul. WOAH. Yeah, cool, right. No! Yeah it is… What the hell happened I aucked him off once: You what. Calm down. I didn't know it was the devil. Holy! It's was un Unholy See. Damn Satan,!697 are fucking gross. Yeah. Nice tattoos though. I thought you'd like this. I do. Who's your body? Some drunk. The alcoholics are so easy. What about my soul. What about your soul, dude? Why doesn't he want my soul? He already has your soul. What?! I never sold my soled my soul. That's what you think. Oh, I get it comcast owns Jimmy Fallon. Actually, Nancy Drew does, or whatever. What's her name Nancy! HUH- what!! DREW BARRYMORE. GET IN HERE!!!! woah. Okay. I gotta get back to the 90's. Why! I left my DREW BARRYMORE GODDAMIT. Sorry, JUST GET OUT. She is cute, though. She's so fucking cute. Hey, What. Put me on your hit list, For what. Cause. No way, dude. So it's this Nancy Drew Character Uh huh. Then Comcast Correct. Then NBC/Universal. uh-huh Then Lorne Michaels— Wait Correct. Fuck man. So you mean the portion of Jimmy Fallon I won in that game of 8 dimensional poker is pretty much nothin. It's pretty much— Worthless. Not worthless. What are you saying— I'm saying— I'm not a real woman I just saw a real woman With a long skirt And a body worthy of love Beautiful hair And face like porcelain Nothing upon the sleeves strewn in ink Petite I could never be a real woman Actually, you know what. I could have worn anything But I'm not showing up for anything at Rockerfeller Plaza dressed like my inner cunslut YOUR “INNER” CUMSLUT THAT WSS AWESOME I know, God. *belches juicy semen, slurps* You're—a fucking awful person, though, just awful. I know. Just—disgusting. Yeah, but— —that was the best blowjob I ever had Yep. *burps—slurps* ufgh. —and you swallowed all of it. I don't know how! Both: That's was so much! Haha yeah: Jinx! You owe me a blowjob. Okay! You're fucking gross. Yeah. Oh wow. That went deep. I mean, not really “deep” it went aural. *oral* I swear to god if you publish this POSTED DAMN. that dude is good looking. Why is he dating someone that looks like a mouseS Maybe he's into mouce face I guess. I'm into mouse face. [deadmau5] Be nice. Hey! What: what do you want That guys an asshole! Duh! Okay. I love white people But they're weird sometimes I was lookin at this dude on the train Like real hard, And I swear to God, I couldn't tell if that was his girl Or his twin sister I was like What I the fuck am I lookin at Idk but I like it It's almost refreshing to see sliders that aren't made of plastic or whatever awful material OH. CONAN O BRIEN YEAH. But mad young. That's— LUCIFER! Hahahaha what GET BACK HERE. DAMN. That's one good looking kid. Dammit dammit dammit A bunch of handsome white dudes I want nothing to do with It's true I do like the fame The power The respect The money, I could give or take Or make my own Just so you'll date me The power, I like The respect and the fame So your name came and went with the hour l And the sunset I might take walk in the rain Because my body is ugly And I just want to be loved A husband Two dogs And pushing a stroller Of course, there's the part that just wants to have fun Get fucked up Love someone I trust enough To rub against Without a rubber Against the grain Our heads together He grabs the back of my neck And I just can't handle it Fuck. I love mad men— and I love men when they're mad Especially Fallon That's somebody's dad in the bathtub, yeah mate Somebody back at the opera Probably phantoms There you go You've got you a girl So grab her hand And hold onto her Don't let her know If yo love or fuck someone else Just for the fun of it Don't break her head and her heart at the same time She might not come back from it Like I never did I never came back I was punched in the face maybe 5 Or like 6 times Before I got up, became Skrillex, went for a a run with the dogs And then did it again Never was god, though I got a lot of problems I love the waterfront But no one loves me I'm left in the lobby a lot Like Mikey, in that one song I guess I'm destiny Or perhaps I'm your density Once upon a time, I walked here Once a upon a time, I worked here, Shout out to number six. This one is sung for you This verse undoes the hex. Remind me to get your mom hallmark cart, someone uttered I fucking love her Remember to stop at the shopping carts before you long walk home Almost hoping you're soaked in the strange acid rai. So hard You forget what your name is I spent a whole plot of a film Just trying to be famous Luckily, I think The Tonight Show stops taping in the summer, So with any luck, The real Jimmy Fallon is somewhere in Greece or some shit Rich assholes and their summer vacations— I'm guessing, But still unwavering in the back of my mind somewhere That no matter what, Whenever I'm at 30 Rock, I'm being watched. The entire cast of 30 rock is watching the legends saga in 3D, along with some of the keynote cast of Saturday night live— Don't be selfish I'm not. I don't know what else I used to watched that's owned by this media conglomerate ahem. SLASH/Universal. Oh, so we are doing this back to the future revamp depends, are you gonna keep being fat, Or be spry, like Marty McFly And just for the fuck of it, You're the new Hanson in the new 21 Jumpstreet Movie SUNNI BLU Aight, SUPA Dammit. TINA FEY Do you smell donuts. LIZ LEMON no, it's cookies Follow the smell of the cookies. I get it. I got it. Try to remain unseen! LOOK AT ME. I'M AT THE BASE OF A GIANT PE— COCK. LUTZ When's the action?! Notes: Chocolate man makes everything chocolate Okay. That's stupid. Chocolate! Chocolate! Uhhh—- What are you doing here?!? I work here…what are you doing here? I have tenure. *purses lips* [tina tries to hide the entire cast Reunion of late 90s/early 2000's SNL cast members behind her (Nervously) tah—uh; I thought you were on vacation. I redacted it. What does that mean? I know what it means. Mm. What does that mean. I read the comics. I have something to tell you. Okay, what. It can't be over the phone. Okay. Where the firefighters is? I got some propolis cough syrup for the stalkers [The Festival Project™]# {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

02. Annie was not that smart || Annie had half a heart Annie, poor Annie Was full of hot air, Yes Annie was just a fart Annie was bad at cards, But Annie could drive a car Annie poor Annie Just ran out of gas, Poor Annie— That's just the start! Annie goes out to bar; Annie's so good at darts Annie poor Annie She acts like a man, But Annie is not from mars. Annie was drunk that night Me and Annie just got in a fight Annie, poor Annie— She just couldn't dance No, Annie just wasn't right || I'm so sick I'm so tired Of all Of these services Asking For money It's donuts, you know And I don't eat sugar I'm sick of my curves— They're so perfect, But her, she has none And you love her And you're what I want So Fuck this I'm a disaster I'll be here after the show For a while But don't talk to me! I'm just a broken Soul A guitarist Who knows only Words At the surface I'd rather be her (I just want to go home with you; If I take my clothes off, You'll probably throw up, though) I just want to go home You know Kingdom come Or whatever you call it When you're just Done I got blood under my fingernails If I cut myself, It starts pouring rain I got blood under my eyes, But if I Now I know too well, The well of tears on my guitar She's got a body like one Oh her curves But I just wonder what it like to be loved By stars Socialites and superstars They're Gods, you know How high up they are Above us And he lives in an ascended dimension, But he insists, he says Her transcendence is upon us He said Your transcendence is upon us He says these things, And then just vanishes So she gets up promptly Warms up yesterday's coffee Looks around in her coffin And wonders What for I just Wonder what it's like to be loved by stars Without double r's, you know I've got scars But it's mostly just Teardrops, and soft kisses On my guitar Cause, oh, Oli, I ain't got nobody— And nobody holds me Like I hold Oli (Could have been Ali, But of course— I had already lost that one A whole well of tears, I lost At his departure And a whole well more When I actually lost him I almost miss Having someone to talk to About anything and everything But I've got Oli And God now I've got Oli And Oli (oli) Is all that I've got Besides God That's the only contact In my Phone book No more double Ls And double entendres; No more double rs At all Just scars now No more metaphors. Honest is radical I like them cynical I should have clinical insanity by now But I'm only just an artist You can't help But can only harm that And if it hurts hard enough I'll put art on my walls Become permanent Storybooks all over my arms now My coat of arms now I've run Ten point 5 miles In the last 3 days; But if I rest today Will a motorcycle gang Have a parade outside of my window, To drive me crazy? I hope it rains, So they can't play these games with my head And the seeds that I planted So deep become daisies I still don't remember The way he rearranged me But these days I make my name sound So the way He can never say it Just imitates The way I hate myself I should be dating But expressions are Atrocious If I fall asleep— Who knows I may get Stolen That tends to happen So I'm All the way up And I'm swollen in ways That I hate to say “I love you” Love me back Or say it harder That's my martyrdom Come off the cross, for a moment, Would you for us? And bend over Or bow, if you will? If I did, Would you still call me wicked Or just a Good witch Since I'm a woman, I just couldn't be Jesus, Who you asked for once And always Who you asked for some To save you from your Credit reports And consorts Or some sort of Nonsense [famous last words] God don't speak much English, She says God don't speak much these days We were Always Telepathic That was way back then When Oedipus Rex Was on the Guest list I was standing at the coat check, asking Why I must take off my hat When entering the service To the bouncer, he says “That's just politics” I said, That's just politics We both said, What's the difference Then we all laughed —then we all just laughed and laughed Exchange is my favorite exchange Where my favorite exchanges Have happened for centuries Of engagements Endeared species, And races pieces haven't tasted the same Since I haven't had them Animal products And animal planet I found this hat on Discovery channel Did you want it? I can't stand it So I had to have it back I just had to use the bathroom I just had to disconnect From [] See— I don't even have to put the words in Cause a name is just words When that's a man You just can't have And that's the worse When that's a man And you can't have him What a habit. Silky rabbit. Now he's the Ace. All In A Day's Work I've never died before. Oh… that is terrifying. It sounds terrible. It's really not that bad. Why are you not writing this down? I just need a moment… It's really not that bad… I die all the time. Look, I told you, stay away from that guy. Who, what—Dillon Francis? I'm telling you, there's something wrong with him. I'm pretty sure he's like—indifferent— “Indifferent” haha. Sure. Okay. I think he's getting engaged or something DILLON FRANCIS RAGE KILLS EVERYTHING. What the fuck are you doing. He has a tendency to get jealous, sometimes, I guess [DILLON FRANCIS IS A DESTRUCTIVE HUMAN BEING (with excessively jealous tendencies)] #GHOSTEDDDD This guy?! SERIOUSLY?! I mean, he's kinda cute, isn't he? Is he?! Almost, cuter than you, I think, probably. UAAAGGGGGGHHHHH. [HEART destroys an entire TELEVISION] what the FUCK, DILLON FRANCIS— That's was a RELIC. It was a vintage television set RELIC IS LIKE A SYNONYM FOR THOSE KINDS OF THINGS. SHUT UP, ACTUALLY. Okay so like HEART and GHOST are twin flames— Who whose this dude, then?! He's just my MUSE, rn, okay?! OK?! oh look, cool, he does music too. ahahaha Do something funny, I guess. Hey Hazel. Do a backflip. Okay, daddy! Oh wow, that's— WHATTHEFUK —that's from my other series. That's neat, He's cool, I think. I'm gonna keep writing this. WHAT ABOUT ME. What about you?! How's your girlfriend, actually? MY FAKE GIRLFRIEND, YOU MEAN. What: Oh. What's she reading! I can't see Robert Greene Laws of Seduction Okay. So. Here's what you do. You have to get her to think THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND. HER EYES ARE BLUE, SHES REALLY PRETTY. Ok. Ouch. She's—she's perfect actually. *sniffles* Ok. —oh, by the way, are you still like, into Sonny or anything THE MEXICAN SKRILLEX *satanizing* No, actually, I think I was just getting over that whole thing. Okay, well, great: This is my girlfriend *actually crying* She is better than you. At everything. *sobbing* OkAY! I would never date you. Alright… I'm not in “love” with you or anything *inconsolable crying* I wear CARHART EVERYTHING, now, Cause she's like— Caucasian, and everything, so I LOVE EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR COUNTRY. Thanks, boogie T No problems CHANNEL TRES I AM THE CONTROLLER BOOGIE T I'm subtly racist, So this album artwork indicates That if you're the fucking controller I'm the one holding the controller, Actually controlling everything EDM industry Okay, Let the blacks in, But let them know that there's like A pecking order to these things… Oh look, a pelican [RAVE INDUSTRY BEING OVERTLY RACIST.] Kaleena Zanders See. Who are you, again? If you're the guy holding the controller, I'm the programmer, writing the game You stupid fucking— All of you are fucking idiots, I quit. I'm gonna go kiss ass With the TV people. Well fuck you, okay. NO, FUCK YOU, DILLON FRANCIS. KELLY (LIAM KYLE SULLIVAN) FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU KELLY ZIMMERMAN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU——- I love the clout riding on this shit, Really? You kept his last name? Well, yeah-/ I was just rich before I married that guy “The first wives club” Now I'm famous. BEFORE: DEADMAU5 INCUBUS KELLY SUCCUBUS FIGHT [the festival project, or whatever] DILLON FRANCIS is DESTROYING EVERYTHING in a fit of JEALOUS RAGE. Idk what that dude is about, honestly. CUT TO: Meditating peacefully, relaxed. [a moment of calm and peaceful eloquence before] [a silenced pistol goes off] Headshot. Nice. Okay, get the body. Ahahaha. Fuckin. —Suck my dick. Sai Psy. See you in seven years, then. You're so silly— I'm not going to live seven more years. We'll see about that. You will see. I'll be dead. So I'll be dead. So it is. A summer hiatus, Vacations in Prague, yes Let's pray for the rest of us A sign of the times and a coming of ages Who made you famous again As the rest of us I don't like it As much as I'd like to Keep writing Keep finding the reason to die and you're blinded by kindnesses And I ams I woke up in the 9th dimension, As an infinite friend Familiar with my kitchen JOHN SLATTERY An interesting thing happened this morning. What's that, John? I woke up as John Slattery Just remember what love holds The death of a salesman, rechargeable batteries This walk could take forever in designer jeans Another day in slave hell The controllers controlling And Satan is Sataning Seems like a time to go clubbing It's a simple kind of depression Resting on your head when All you simply wished is the taste of flesh The freedom of skin And the lather of love— Or blood spatter on the pavement Aim for the head If the door's fixed, then we'll break it again Look what greed does I hate lazy days in Manhattan Cause I've never had one What happened on the way to the forum I was starstruck; Five finger death punch Right in the heart I wish I was punctual Right on time for lunch Don't you want to talk to someone more pungent? Don't you got models to robot? Don't you know I never want to hurt you But you know, I'm going to hurt you. You know I'm going to hurt you Now, the review: Sooner or later, I fall over your world Good dudes in drags Good food for thought I'm a dog With the wrong parts You should take Kanye to the mall With a migrants lanyard (The migrants are anarchists! Good one, God) This one goes to. | this one fist, from Which one are you ? I guess we are one in the same It's a famous radio tower Live up to your name Go sell your flower for flour As I stand at the jumping point Eye on Manhattan, The wind beneath my wings Distracting myself from the mansion I haven't The mason jars I ought to buy for bargain The brain and brain cereal I left at the market I used to love Brandy Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome “The Album I Wrote On My Way To The Rock To Return Amazon Purchases No Longer Wanted” That's a really long album title. I didn't imagine I'd write this much Just trying not to imagine this man in his under pants, Or what have you (I'm just a fan) I'm just a dad hunched over in the bathroom Must have been the magic of my backhand, backfired Must have come untied and undone, under the rainbow Must me on my way to Manhattan For some blacklist event. Where I'm from The A List Is a face No name needed “Oh, I know who you are” If I purchased a car today I might get done paying it off By my 81st birthday. Shady. If I had a penny for every mistake I made, I would probably be Nameless. If there was a namesake to lay me into my grave, it would make sense; Yes, let's move the train for a moment With the doors still open. — I'd like to watch what happens. So what happens when the sun comes up On the only body you've ever known And no one wants it What happens with a dude named Starr Punches you over and over again And then no one loves you (That's starstruck, your honor) What happens when granted a pardon for passions And everything happens after is magic What happens when all you want is to go manic To finish the album And just feel good again What happens when the algorithm has Al Gore in it? What happens when the rhythm in blues is just the attraction of random black men and their concubine counterparts? Huh, what happens! What happens, Kanye? What happens, the God? What happens when all that you want is a disgusting assumption of. No on can trust you And nobody loves you Since it was simply a tryst Put this at a distance. Where did my energy disappear to! Where in the fear is my other earring? Fuck. Be somewhere, anywhere else but your office, for the moment. Be anyone but a mother, Anywhere but your apartment— It hurts, the construction. Someone doesn't something Nobody knows nothing about me, But what I put in this caskets (This podcast) Oh hey, I got fuck muscles from fuckin myself now! I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't have sex! For real! Heal, Oh great dragon, HEAL, BITCH. Word. woof for the world Will for the wolf; Rain on the roof. Cobain don't have a God (Or a Gun, if you wanted that one) “Pull me up, God, I'm done under here” He called in I followed the fosters to farrow And got better I got better and bitter much quicker and Never in bed had I been as flexible As to kiss his chest As I kicked my own neck With my left foot. What the fucjing fairyshit is that. There, I fixed it. Fixed what. I don't know what. But I fixed it. I know, huh! So be 110 and flexible Powerlift tectonic plates Do Pilates And make waffles!? Alright, I can do that But only as Jennifer Aniston I'd like to take back that Fallon I bought at the black market He's broken. I like his band tho— The one on the left hand, Over the damaged one. Are you on to that? Says the sayer, Son of Sam So Sai the sage Sets the stage Is that the plan? Never fall for a man, Even over an alter And tied by the hands. All I see in my initials initially is B Minor 16 might be minors, guys But she's creaming to find you At the front lines Life of a superstar DJ At the cross roads Or the turnstiles How do you turn bile into Beguiling Without rifling a few feathers Or looking into the eye of the rifle And dying first Don't you let that tear fall from you onto the M Train. I'm just training for fame And hating you ever day Since we made it Love Get out of my way, Satan I'm staying I'm saying your name sake insanely Please break me Like a chicken leg Or just shake me from this existence Since I don't seem fit for it Anymore than I fit that Givchechy dress you gave that blonde, right? Am I dying! Or just dying inside Fuck coughs If you want him enough to. Use black magic To do that to me, wait till it falls back on you, You gross hag If god hates fags as much as he hates blacks We should fly flags over the haggis I made Alice When she's back from her adventures in wonderland No wonder you're a Monro Crossed over from O'Fallons It's an old warfare with two clans From the old countries With no borders Or border collies Laboradores And labirites, likely As Aphrodite is to smite me So here comes DJ Francis With his new black girlfriend Just kidding We all know in his world It's cold and broken With nothing but blue eyes And big wild to look over you Bro, standing up is not going to make this train go anywhere. I almost promise you. Turns out there's no such thing as a quick trip to the rock. Turns out you'll sit stuck in your own sick God as my witness For screenshotting those ass pictures —that's somebody's kids, dick. tick tok has no limits. VO Of course, The day and time I should have to go to Rockerfeller Plaza quickly, quietly and unseen, the train is magically destined not to move. I've been sitting here at least a half hour, with no end in sight— The doors close and the train begins moving. Hahaha Fucking hilarious, God. I've been avoiding The Rock like the plague— Not that I think anything would happen at all upon arrival— who am I, anyway? Nobody important. There she goes. Still, I've written enough about it, and the people inside and around it, That the place makes me nervous. More nervous than ever, that is, actually— I always felt weird in the place. [flashbacks] When I first got to New York, I would end up there on accident. Completely by accident. Lost. Faulty navigation. Hackers: Whatever. I always just— By complete fucking accident Ended up at Rockerfeller Plaza The city slips over us, as the train sinks back underground — I'm facing the city now, As not to be reminded of my abuser's toxic words and toxic hands, By dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpacks Still, etched into the subway walls Are two stars, which remind me to repeat the mantra: Starr Michael Roberts is a pedophile wifebeater Less of a manta than the truest words ever spoken, But that's all the shape of a five point star means to me now or will ever mean to me And to think, The American flag has 50 of the 50 wife beating pedophile men On a red white and blue flag That waves just to remind me I was born a fat ugly noack woman To be a slave And there's no one to save us I want to senselessly beat the man in the dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpack Just like I was beaten senselessly by the man called Starr, The devil in disguise as my first love Still trying to chase my soul from its dream Back into his nightmarish under realms of unhygienic hatred, vomit stained rugs And poss stained couches, Phlegm on the walls and Nothing on but Diablo And old episodes of the sopranos. —but I still love the sopranos; And I still love my one and only Good thing that ever happened From an awful marriage That buried me wonder what's on this side of the train to write Maybe nothing Nothing I like, anyway Some guy that just thinks imm some ugly black bitch Of course All the white rich dudes Are horrible I miss the poor surfers Blowing blunts and wishing they was with blondes, With me tucked under their arms I need a tummy tuck to find love Goddamn, Imm miserable just sitting here At least I get a glance at her The tattooed God With the pink hair Where's Wanda Sai the Saige Don't say ahit Unless its music Sai the Saige says Turn the page For more sermons Sai the Saige sings her words carefully Write forwards for whole books in four words Four worlds down, Now four more. That's a world tour. Lil biiiiiiitzzz Bro, I might never have sex again. There's a new STD on the loose And patient zero is a white man from New York in his 30's FUCKING GROSS. Where's wanda Where's Waldo Ah FUCK I got your wallet WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. SOMETHING which one are you?! Nothing, nobody. Sunni?! I'm not Sonny, you're Sonny. I'm not— Don't say it Whatever Where is it? Where's what? The rock You're on the rock! I that's not — Stop it what I meant! Which one are you— Who are you 8mm I'm the cosmic— Whatever the fuck. Gimmie the rock Get off of me I think too much I think I have a disease I think too much But I don't think much of me It's just as much as I want A three musketeers bar, That's far fetched For a vegan With 12 dollars in the budget For the rest of the month Goddamn. One down 20 to go Call someone To take your husband Home I'm drunk m I'm stuck in this thought At the bottom of the rock Damn. 8 always get lost here Not today though, I hope Follow the smell of coffe tbigg us h the open doors This the stairs up a couple stores. Muscle memory l Wait. Are there stairs to the top of the rock? I would walk them Shazam, what's this lame ass fucking song? Ugh, at least I have muscle memory. OUCH, COME ON. OUCH. Come with me. Ugh. I have so fuck to do. Okay, now what do I do? Just jump! That seems like a bad idea. It's the only idea you've got. That's not even my idea! —but it's the only idea you've got! OKAY, I've got an idea! What's it? Wtf, I've never even seen this many people here. What is this, a field trip. GODDAMIT JUST JMP. i can't, I'm scared! Okay. Then I'll push you. M No don't *push* helicopter: fluh-fluh-fluh- THERE HE IS— WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AGHHHHHHHH. GISNT BIRD OF PREHy- SNATCH. GODDAMN Turn sim down Okay, how much. Just a little How's that That's better. Okay. Look, I am not interested in you. I get that, Jimmy Fallon. I am just doing my job, okay. I get it, Jim. Okay?! Do you understand. I understand. Okay? Okay. Okay. So what is your job, exactly? I keep my mouth shut, Hands fisted misdirected, But staying on track Thank god they put this shit here Hands in my pocket equals words h documented I can't help but to admit I almost want even writing before this Now fast forward Every time I'm under this, it feels like I'm already in my own show or something Of course, I used to love a good revolving door Shit I used to love at all Man! I hate the rock! Why. Cause fuck Jimmy Fallon, that's why! why?! CAUSE. Look, the you from the other dimension should be coming around that corner any minute. Okay, for what. To use the restroom. Make sure she They: What. Me is a “they” Whatever. I love the rush of death telling me to jump as the oncoming train approaches from behind me I could be blinded by the light. Look, 6'3 God knows what I need And that makes history Make sure when you when she goes into the bathroom, find Fallon and give him the— I know what to do. Alright, YO. NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm married with a family! I don't find you attractive! At all! I know that, asshole! I only want you for your fame and money! Wait, really? No, you handsome basta'd! Goddammit… Goddammit! Sunni!? I knew that was you! It is me—but the other me is somewhere, so take this—quickly back to the 4th dimension—- This is the fourth dimension! Wait, it is?! YES. What dimension did you think it was The 8th! The 8th?! THAT EXISTS?! yeah!!! Where the fuck are you from?! The third, I thought! Thank god, here's this fucking train. Well, fuck off, then! I gotta go find the 8th dimensional Jimmy Fallon! What! For what?! That's priveleged information Ascended extraterrestrials only, broh! Woah, woah, woah, don't “bro” me. I said “broh” What?! That's what I said— No, you said— Whatever. “Broh”,— —now you said it— —I'm coming with you— Don't be homo. —but, you're a woman, I thought. That's what's you think. That's what the tabloids said… You wanna know what the tabloids said about you? In which dimension? Right?! Now shut up. Come on. [they move quickly towards the— Towards the where? I don't know. I've only ever been at the bottom of the rock: I don't get it. If the antenna is on the top, Then why did my vibe go. GLUH. Sorry: No , that's a lot; what is that: —you really think imm handsome? I think you're an asshole. I hate writing at the rock (Launching to onesel.) You look ridiculous. At least i can just write it off to “Mental Health Problems” MEANWHILE Check it out. The devil is following me. What. Wanna see. What the FUCK is that? He wants my soul. WOAH. Yeah, cool, right. No! Yeah it is… What the hell happened I aucked him off once: You what. Calm down. I didn't know it was the devil. Holy! It's was un Unholy See. Damn Satan,!697 are fucking gross. Yeah. Nice tattoos though. I thought you'd like this. I do. Who's your body? Some drunk. The alcoholics are so easy. What about my soul. What about your soul, dude? Why doesn't he want my soul? He already has your soul. What?! I never sold my soled my soul. That's what you think. Oh, I get it comcast owns Jimmy Fallon. Actually, Nancy Drew does, or whatever. What's her name Nancy! HUH- what!! DREW BARRYMORE. GET IN HERE!!!! woah. Okay. I gotta get back to the 90's. Why! I left my DREW BARRYMORE GODDAMIT. Sorry, JUST GET OUT. She is cute, though. She's so fucking cute. Hey, What. Put me on your hit list, For what. Cause. No way, dude. So it's this Nancy Drew Character Uh huh. Then Comcast Correct. Then NBC/Universal. uh-huh Then Lorne Michaels— Wait Correct. Fuck man. So you mean the portion of Jimmy Fallon I won in that game of 8 dimensional poker is pretty much nothin. It's pretty much— Worthless. Not worthless. What are you saying— I'm saying— I'm not a real woman I just saw a real woman With a long skirt And a body worthy of love Beautiful hair And face like porcelain Nothing upon the sleeves strewn in ink Petite I could never be a real woman Actually, you know what. I could have worn anything But I'm not showing up for anything at Rockerfeller Plaza dressed like my inner cunslut YOUR “INNER” CUMSLUT THAT WSS AWESOME I know, God. *belches juicy semen, slurps* You're—a fucking awful person, though, just awful. I know. Just—disgusting. Yeah, but— —that was the best blowjob I ever had Yep. *burps—slurps* ufgh. —and you swallowed all of it. I don't know how! Both: That's was so much! Haha yeah: Jinx! You owe me a blowjob. Okay! You're fucking gross. Yeah. Oh wow. That went deep. I mean, not really “deep” it went aural. *oral* I swear to god if you publish this POSTED DAMN. that dude is good looking. Why is he dating someone that looks like a mouseS Maybe he's into mouce face I guess. I'm into mouse face. [deadmau5] Be nice. Hey! What: what do you want That guys an asshole! Duh! Okay. I love white people But they're weird sometimes I was lookin at this dude on the train Like real hard, And I swear to God, I couldn't tell if that was his girl Or his twin sister I was like What I the fuck am I lookin at Idk but I like it It's almost refreshing to see sliders that aren't made of plastic or whatever awful material OH. CONAN O BRIEN YEAH. But mad young. That's— LUCIFER! Hahahaha what GET BACK HERE. DAMN. That's one good looking kid. Dammit dammit dammit A bunch of handsome white dudes I want nothing to do with It's true I do like the fame The power The respect The money, I could give or take Or make my own Just so you'll date me The power, I like The respect and the fame So your name came and went with the hour l And the sunset I might take walk in the rain Because my body is ugly And I just want to be loved A husband Two dogs And pushing a stroller Of course, there's the part that just wants to have fun Get fucked up Love someone I trust enough To rub against Without a rubber Against the grain Our heads together He grabs the back of my neck And I just can't handle it Fuck. I love mad men— and I love men when they're mad Especially Fallon That's somebody's dad in the bathtub, yeah mate Somebody back at the opera Probably phantoms There you go You've got you a girl So grab her hand And hold onto her Don't let her know If yo love or fuck someone else Just for the fun of it Don't break her head and her heart at the same time She might not come back from it Like I never did I never came back I was punched in the face maybe 5 Or like 6 times Before I got up, became Skrillex, went for a a run with the dogs And then did it again Never was god, though I got a lot of problems I love the waterfront But no one loves me I'm left in the lobby a lot Like Mikey, in that one song I guess I'm destiny Or perhaps I'm your density Once upon a time, I walked here Once a upon a time, I worked here, Shout out to number six. This one is sung for you This verse undoes the hex. Remind me to get your mom hallmark cart, someone uttered I fucking love her Remember to stop at the shopping carts before you long walk home Almost hoping you're soaked in the strange acid rai. So hard You forget what your name is I spent a whole plot of a film Just trying to be famous Luckily, I think The Tonight Show stops taping in the summer, So with any luck, The real Jimmy Fallon is somewhere in Greece or some shit Rich assholes and their summer vacations— I'm guessing, But still unwavering in the back of my mind somewhere That no matter what, Whenever I'm at 30 Rock, I'm being watched. The entire cast of 30 rock is watching the legends saga in 3D, along with some of the keynote cast of Saturday night live— Don't be selfish I'm not. I don't know what else I used to watched that's owned by this media conglomerate ahem. SLASH/Universal. Oh, so we are doing this back to the future revamp depends, are you gonna keep being fat, Or be spry, like Marty McFly And just for the fuck of it, You're the new Hanson in the new 21 Jumpstreet Movie SUNNI BLU Aight, SUPA Dammit. TINA FEY Do you smell donuts. LIZ LEMON no, it's cookies Follow the smell of the cookies. I get it. I got it. Try to remain unseen! LOOK AT ME. I'M AT THE BASE OF A GIANT PE— COCK. LUTZ When's the action?! Notes: Chocolate man makes everything chocolate Okay. That's stupid. Chocolate! Chocolate! Uhhh—- What are you doing here?!? I work here…what are you doing here? I have tenure. *purses lips* [tina tries to hide the entire cast Reunion of late 90s/early 2000's SNL cast members behind her (Nervously) tah—uh; I thought you were on vacation. I redacted it. What does that mean? I know what it means. Mm. What does that mean. I read the comics. I have something to tell you. Okay, what. It can't be over the phone. Okay. Where the firefighters is? I got some propolis cough syrup for the stalkers [The Festival Project™]# {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

Sai Psy. See you in seven years, then. You're so silly— I'm not going to live seven more years. We'll see about that. You will see. I'll be dead. So I'll be dead. So it is. A summer hiatus, Vacations in Prague, yes Let's pray for the rest of us A sign of the times and a coming of ages Who made you famous again As the rest of us I don't like it As much as I'd like to Keep writing Keep finding the reason to die and you're blinded by kindnesses And I ams I woke up in the 9th dimension, As an infinite friend Familiar with my kitchen JOHN SLATTERY An interesting thing happened this morning. What's that, John? I woke up as John Slattery Just remember what love holds The death of a salesman, rechargeable batteries This walk could take forever in designer jeans Another day in slave hell The controllers controlling And Satan is Sataning Seems like a time to go clubbing It's a simple kind of depression Resting on your head when All you simply wished is the taste of flesh The freedom of skin And the lather of love— Or blood spatter on the pavement Aim for the head If the door's fixed, then we'll break it again Look what greed does I hate lazy days in Manhattan Cause I've never had one What happened on the way to the forum I was starstruck; Five finger death punch Right in the heart I wish I was punctual Right on time for lunch Don't you want to talk to someone more pungent? Don't you got models to robot? Don't you know I never want to hurt you But you know, I'm going to hurt you. You know I'm going to hurt you Now, the review: Sooner or later, I fall over your world Good dudes in drags Good food for thought I'm a dog With the wrong parts You should take Kanye to the mall With a migrants lanyard (The migrants are anarchists! Good one, God) This one goes to. | this one fist, from Which one are you ? I guess we are one in the same It's a famous radio tower Live up to your name Go sell your flower for flour As I stand at the jumping point Eye on Manhattan, The wind beneath my wings Distracting myself from the mansion I haven't The mason jars I ought to buy for bargain The brain and brain cereal I left at the market I used to love Brandy Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome “The Album I Wrote On My Way To The Rock To Return Amazon Purchases No Longer Wanted” That's a really long album title. I didn't imagine I'd write this much Just trying not to imagine this man in his under pants, Or what have you (I'm just a fan) I'm just a dad hunched over in the bathroom Must have been the magic of my backhand, backfired Must have come untied and undone, under the rainbow Must me on my way to Manhattan For some blacklist event. Where I'm from The A List Is a face No name needed “Oh, I know who you are” If I purchased a car today I might get done paying it off By my 81st birthday. Shady. If I had a penny for every mistake I made, I would probably be Nameless. If there was a namesake to lay me into my grave, it would make sense; Yes, let's move the train for a moment With the doors still open. — I'd like to watch what happens. So what happens when the sun comes up On the only body you've ever known And no one wants it What happens with a dude named Starr Punches you over and over again And then no one loves you (That's starstruck, your honor) What happens when granted a pardon for passions And everything happens after is magic What happens when all you want is to go manic To finish the album And just feel good again What happens when the algorithm has Al Gore in it? What happens when the rhythm in blues is just the attraction of random black men and their concubine counterparts? Huh, what happens! What happens, Kanye? What happens, the God? What happens when all that you want is a disgusting assumption of. No on can trust you And nobody loves you Since it was simply a tryst Put this at a distance. Where did my energy disappear to! Where in the fear is my other earring? Fuck. Be somewhere, anywhere else but your office, for the moment. Be anyone but a mother, Anywhere but your apartment— It hurts, the construction. Someone doesn't something Nobody knows nothing about me, But what I put in this caskets (This podcast) Oh hey, I got fuck muscles from fuckin myself now! I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't have sex! For real! Heal, Oh great dragon, HEAL, BITCH. Word. woof for the world Will for the wolf; Rain on the roof. Cobain don't have a God (Or a Gun, if you wanted that one) “Pull me up, God, I'm done under here” He called in I followed the fosters to farrow And got better I got better and bitter much quicker and Never in bed had I been as flexible As to kiss his chest As I kicked my own neck With my left foot. What the fucjing fairyshit is that. There, I fixed it. Fixed what. I don't know what. But I fixed it. I know, huh! So be 110 and flexible Powerlift tectonic plates Do Pilates And make waffles!? Alright, I can do that But only as Jennifer Aniston I'd like to take back that Fallon I bought at the black market He's broken. I like his band tho— The one on the left hand, Over the damaged one. Are you on to that? Says the sayer, Son of Sam So Sai the sage Sets the stage Is that the plan? Never fall for a man, Even over an alter And tied by the hands. All I see in my initials initially is B Minor 16 might be minors, guys But she's creaming to find you At the front lines Life of a superstar DJ At the cross roads Or the turnstiles How do you turn bile into Beguiling Without rifling a few feathers Or looking into the eye of the rifle And dying first Don't you let that tear fall from you onto the M Train. I'm just training for fame And hating you ever day Since we made it Love Get out of my way, Satan I'm staying I'm saying your name sake insanely Please break me Like a chicken leg Or just shake me from this existence Since I don't seem fit for it Anymore than I fit that Givchechy dress you gave that blonde, right? Am I dying! Or just dying inside Fuck coughs If you want him enough to. Use black magic To do that to me, wait till it falls back on you, You gross hag If god hates fags as much as he hates blacks We should fly flags over the haggis I made Alice When she's back from her adventures in wonderland No wonder you're a Monro Crossed over from O'Fallons It's an old warfare with two clans From the old countries With no borders Or border collies Laboradores And labirites, likely As Aphrodite is to smite me So here comes DJ Francis With his new black girlfriend Just kidding We all know in his world It's cold and broken With nothing but blue eyes And big wild to look over you Bro, standing up is not going to make this train go anywhere. I almost promise you. Turns out there's no such thing as a quick trip to the rock. Turns out you'll sit stuck in your own sick God as my witness For screenshotting those ass pictures —that's somebody's kids, dick. tick tok has no limits. VO Of course, The day and time I should have to go to Rockerfeller Plaza quickly, quietly and unseen, the train is magically destined not to move. I've been sitting here at least a half hour, with no end in sight— The doors close and the train begins moving. Hahaha Fucking hilarious, God. I've been avoiding The Rock like the plague— Not that I think anything would happen at all upon arrival— who am I, anyway? Nobody important. There she goes. Still, I've written enough about it, and the people inside and around it, That the place makes me nervous. More nervous than ever, that is, actually— I always felt weird in the place. [flashbacks] When I first got to New York, I would end up there on accident. Completely by accident. Lost. Faulty navigation. Hackers: Whatever. I always just— By complete fucking accident Ended up at Rockerfeller Plaza The city slips over us, as the train sinks back underground — I'm facing the city now, As not to be reminded of my abuser's toxic words and toxic hands, By dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpacks Still, etched into the subway walls Are two stars, which remind me to repeat the mantra: Starr Michael Roberts is a pedophile wifebeater Less of a manta than the truest words ever spoken, But that's all the shape of a five point star means to me now or will ever mean to me And to think, The American flag has 50 of the 50 wife beating pedophile men On a red white and blue flag That waves just to remind me I was born a fat ugly noack woman To be a slave And there's no one to save us I want to senselessly beat the man in the dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpack Just like I was beaten senselessly by the man called Starr, The devil in disguise as my first love Still trying to chase my soul from its dream Back into his nightmarish under realms of unhygienic hatred, vomit stained rugs And poss stained couches, Phlegm on the walls and Nothing on but Diablo And old episodes of the sopranos. —but I still love the sopranos; And I still love my one and only Good thing that ever happened From an awful marriage That buried me wonder what's on this side of the train to write Maybe nothing Nothing I like, anyway Some guy that just thinks imm some ugly black bitch Of course All the white rich dudes Are horrible I miss the poor surfers Blowing blunts and wishing they was with blondes, With me tucked under their arms I need a tummy tuck to find love Goddamn, Imm miserable just sitting here At least I get a glance at her The tattooed God With the pink hair Where's Wanda Sai the Saige Don't say ahit Unless its music Sai the Saige says Turn the page For more sermons Sai the Saige sings her words carefully Write forwards for whole books in four words Four worlds down, Now four more. That's a world tour. Lil biiiiiiitzzz Bro, I might never have sex again. There's a new STD on the loose And patient zero is a white man from New York in his 30's FUCKING GROSS. Where's wanda Where's Waldo Ah FUCK I got your wallet WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. SOMETHING which one are you?! Nothing, nobody. Sunni?! I'm not Sonny, you're Sonny. I'm not— Don't say it Whatever Where is it? Where's what? The rock You're on the rock! I that's not — Stop it what I meant! Which one are you— Who are you 8mm I'm the cosmic— Whatever the fuck. Gimmie the rock Get off of me I think too much I think I have a disease I think too much But I don't think much of me It's just as much as I want A three musketeers bar, That's far fetched For a vegan With 12 dollars in the budget For the rest of the month Goddamn. One down 20 to go Call someone To take your husband Home I'm drunk m I'm stuck in this thought At the bottom of the rock Damn. 8 always get lost here Not today though, I hope Follow the smell of coffe tbigg us h the open doors This the stairs up a couple stores. Muscle memory l Wait. Are there stairs to the top of the rock? I would walk them Shazam, what's this lame ass fucking song? Ugh, at least I have muscle memory. OUCH, COME ON. OUCH. Come with me. Ugh. I have so fuck to do. Okay, now what do I do? Just jump! That seems like a bad idea. It's the only idea you've got. That's not even my idea! —but it's the only idea you've got! OKAY, I've got an idea! What's it? Wtf, I've never even seen this many people here. What is this, a field trip. GODDAMIT JUST JMP. i can't, I'm scared! Okay. Then I'll push you. M No don't *push* helicopter: fluh-fluh-fluh- THERE HE IS— WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AGHHHHHHHH. GISNT BIRD OF PREHy- SNATCH. GODDAMN Turn sim down Okay, how much. Just a little How's that That's better. Okay. Look, I am not interested in you. I get that, Jimmy Fallon. I am just doing my job, okay. I get it, Jim. Okay?! Do you understand. I understand. Okay? Okay. Okay. So what is your job, exactly? I keep my mouth shut, Hands fisted misdirected, But staying on track Thank god they put this shit here Hands in my pocket equals words h documented I can't help but to admit I almost want even writing before this Now fast forward Every time I'm under this, it feels like I'm already in my own show or something Of course, I used to love a good revolving door Shit I used to love at all Man! I hate the rock! Why. Cause fuck Jimmy Fallon, that's why! why?! CAUSE. Look, the you from the other dimension should be coming around that corner any minute. Okay, for what. To use the restroom. Make sure she They: What. Me is a “they” Whatever. I love the rush of death telling me to jump as the oncoming train approaches from behind me I could be blinded by the light. Look, 6'3 God knows what I need And that makes history Make sure when you when she goes into the bathroom, find Fallon and give him the— I know what to do. Alright, YO. NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm married with a family! I don't find you attractive! At all! I know that, asshole! I only want you for your fame and money! Wait, really? No, you handsome basta'd! Goddammit… Goddammit! Sunni!? I knew that was you! It is me—but the other me is somewhere, so take this—quickly back to the 4th dimension—- This is the fourth dimension! Wait, it is?! YES. What dimension did you think it was The 8th! The 8th?! THAT EXISTS?! yeah!!! Where the fuck are you from?! The third, I thought! Thank god, here's this fucking train. Well, fuck off, then! I gotta go find the 8th dimensional Jimmy Fallon! What! For what?! That's priveleged information Ascended extraterrestrials only, broh! Woah, woah, woah, don't “bro” me. I said “broh” What?! That's what I said— No, you said— Whatever. “Broh”,— —now you said it— —I'm coming with you— Don't be homo. —but, you're a woman, I thought. That's what's you think. That's what the tabloids said… You wanna know what the tabloids said about you? In which dimension? Right?! Now shut up. Come on. [they move quickly towards the— Towards the where? I don't know. I've only ever been at the bottom of the rock: I don't get it. If the antenna is on the top, Then why did my vibe go. GLUH. Sorry: No , that's a lot; what is that: —you really think imm handsome? I think you're an asshole. I hate writing at the rock (Launching to onesel.) You look ridiculous. At least i can just write it off to “Mental Health Problems” MEANWHILE Check it out. The devil is following me. What. Wanna see. What the FUCK is that? He wants my soul. WOAH. Yeah, cool, right. No! Yeah it is… What the hell happened I aucked him off once: You what. Calm down. I didn't know it was the devil. Holy! It's was un Unholy See. Damn Satan,!697 are fucking gross. Yeah. Nice tattoos though. I thought you'd like this. I do. Who's your body? Some drunk. The alcoholics are so easy. What about my soul. What about your soul, dude? Why doesn't he want my soul? He already has your soul. What?! I never sold my soled my soul. That's what you think. Oh, I get it comcast owns Jimmy Fallon. Actually, Nancy Drew does, or whatever. What's her name Nancy! HUH- what!! DREW BARRYMORE. GET IN HERE!!!! woah. Okay. I gotta get back to the 90's. Why! I left my DREW BARRYMORE GODDAMIT. Sorry, JUST GET OUT. She is cute, though. She's so fucking cute. Hey, What. Put me on your hit list, For what. Cause. No way, dude. So it's this Nancy Drew Character Uh huh. Then Comcast Correct. Then NBC/Universal. uh-huh Then Lorne Michaels— Wait Correct. Fuck man. So you mean the portion of Jimmy Fallon I won in that game of 8 dimensional poker is pretty much nothin. It's pretty much— Worthless. Not worthless. What are you saying— I'm saying— I'm not a real woman I just saw a real woman With a long skirt And a body worthy of love Beautiful hair And face like porcelain Nothing upon the sleeves strewn in ink Petite I could never be a real woman Actually, you know what. I could have worn anything But I'm not showing up for anything at Rockerfeller Plaza dressed like my inner cunslut YOUR “INNER” CUMSLUT THAT WSS AWESOME I know, God. *belches juicy semen, slurps* You're—a fucking awful person, though, just awful. I know. Just—disgusting. Yeah, but— —that was the best blowjob I ever had Yep. *burps—slurps* ufgh. —and you swallowed all of it. I don't know how! Both: That's was so much! Haha yeah: Jinx! You owe me a blowjob. Okay! You're fucking gross. Yeah. Oh wow. That went deep. I mean, not really “deep” it went aural. *oral* I swear to god if you publish this POSTED DAMN. that dude is good looking. Why is he dating someone that looks like a mouseS Maybe he's into mouce face I guess. I'm into mouse face. [deadmau5] Be nice. Hey! What: what do you want That guys an asshole! Duh! Okay. I love white people But they're weird sometimes I was lookin at this dude on the train Like real hard, And I swear to God, I couldn't tell if that was his girl Or his twin sister I was like What I the fuck am I lookin at Idk but I like it It's almost refreshing to see sliders that aren't made of plastic or whatever awful material OH. CONAN O BRIEN YEAH. But mad young. That's— LUCIFER! Hahahaha what GET BACK HERE. DAMN. That's one good looking kid. Dammit dammit dammit A bunch of handsome white dudes I want nothing to do with It's true I do like the fame The power The respect The money, I could give or take Or make my own Just so you'll date me The power, I like The respect and the fame So your name came and went with the hour l And the sunset I might take walk in the rain Because my body is ugly And I just want to be loved A husband Two dogs And pushing a stroller Of course, there's the part that just wants to have fun Get fucked up Love someone I trust enough To rub against Without a rubber Against the grain Our heads together He grabs the back of my neck And I just can't handle it Fuck. I love mad men— and I love men when they're mad Especially Fallon That's somebody's dad in the bathtub, yeah mate Somebody back at the opera Probably phantoms There you go You've got you a girl So grab her hand And hold onto her Don't let her know If yo love or fuck someone else Just for the fun of it Don't break her head and her heart at the same time She might not come back from it Like I never did I never came back I was punched in the face maybe 5 Or like 6 times Before I got up, became Skrillex, went for a a run with the dogs And then did it again Never was god, though I got a lot of problems I love the waterfront But no one loves me I'm left in the lobby a lot Like Mikey, in that one song I guess I'm destiny Or perhaps I'm your density Once upon a time, I walked here Once a upon a time, I worked here, Shout out to number six. This one is sung for you This verse undoes the hex. Remind me to get your mom hallmark cart, someone uttered I fucking love her Remember to stop at the shopping carts before you long walk home Almost hoping you're soaked in the strange acid rai. So hard You forget what your name is I spent a whole plot of a film Just trying to be famous Luckily, I think The Tonight Show stops taping in the summer, So with any luck, The real Jimmy Fallon is somewhere in Greece or some shit Rich assholes and their summer vacations— I'm guessing, But still unwavering in the back of my mind somewhere That no matter what, Whenever I'm at 30 Rock, I'm being watched. The entire cast of 30 rock is watching the legends saga in 3D, along with some of the keynote cast of Saturday night live— Don't be selfish I'm not. I don't know what else I used to watched that's owned by this media conglomerate ahem. SLASH/Universal. Oh, so we are doing this back to the future revamp depends, are you gonna keep being fat, Or be spry, like Marty McFly And just for the fuck of it, You're the new Hanson in the new 21 Jumpstreet Movie SUNNI BLU Aight, SUPA Dammit. TINA FEY Do you smell donuts. LIZ LEMON no, it's cookies Follow the smell of the cookies. I get it. I got it. Try to remain unseen! LOOK AT ME. I'M AT THE BASE OF A GIANT PE— COCK. LUTZ When's the action?! Notes: Chocolate man makes everything chocolate Okay. That's stupid. Chocolate! Chocolate! Uhhh—- What are you doing here?!? I work here…what are you doing here? I have tenure. *purses lips* [tina tries to hide the entire cast Reunion of late 90s/early 2000's SNL cast members behind her (Nervously) tah—uh; I thought you were on vacation. I redacted it. What does that mean? I know what it means. Mm. What does that mean. I read the comics. I have something to tell you. Okay, what. It can't be over the phone. Okay. Where the firefighters is? I got some propolis cough syrup for the stalkers [The Festival Project™]# {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

02. Annie was not that smart || Annie had half a heart Annie, poor Annie Was full of hot air, Yes Annie was just a fart Annie was bad at cards, But Annie could drive a car Annie poor Annie Just ran out of gas, Poor Annie— That's just the start! Annie goes out to bar; Annie's so good at darts Annie poor Annie She acts like a man, But Annie is not from mars. Annie was drunk that night Me and Annie just got in a fight Annie, poor Annie— She just couldn't dance No, Annie just wasn't right || I'm so sick I'm so tired Of all Of these services Asking For money It's donuts, you know And I don't eat sugar I'm sick of my curves— They're so perfect, But her, she has none And you love her And you're what I want So Fuck this I'm a disaster I'll be here after the show For a while But don't talk to me! I'm just a broken Soul A guitarist Who knows only Words At the surface I'd rather be her (I just want to go home with you; If I take my clothes off, You'll probably throw up, though) I just want to go home You know Kingdom come Or whatever you call it When you're just Done I got blood under my fingernails If I cut myself, It starts pouring rain I got blood under my eyes, But if I Now I know too well, The well of tears on my guitar She's got a body like one Oh her curves But I just wonder what it like to be loved By stars Socialites and superstars They're Gods, you know How high up they are Above us And he lives in an ascended dimension, But he insists, he says Her transcendence is upon us He said Your transcendence is upon us He says these things, And then just vanishes So she gets up promptly Warms up yesterday's coffee Looks around in her coffin And wonders What for I just Wonder what it's like to be loved by stars Without double r's, you know I've got scars But it's mostly just Teardrops, and soft kisses On my guitar Cause, oh, Oli, I ain't got nobody— And nobody holds me Like I hold Oli (Could have been Ali, But of course— I had already lost that one A whole well of tears, I lost At his departure And a whole well more When I actually lost him I almost miss Having someone to talk to About anything and everything But I've got Oli And God now I've got Oli And Oli (oli) Is all that I've got Besides God That's the only contact In my Phone book No more double Ls And double entendres; No more double rs At all Just scars now No more metaphors. Honest is radical I like them cynical I should have clinical insanity by now But I'm only just an artist You can't help But can only harm that And if it hurts hard enough I'll put art on my walls Become permanent Storybooks all over my arms now My coat of arms now I've run Ten point 5 miles In the last 3 days; But if I rest today Will a motorcycle gang Have a parade outside of my window, To drive me crazy? I hope it rains, So they can't play these games with my head And the seeds that I planted So deep become daisies I still don't remember The way he rearranged me But these days I make my name sound So the way He can never say it Just imitates The way I hate myself I should be dating But expressions are Atrocious If I fall asleep— Who knows I may get Stolen That tends to happen So I'm All the way up And I'm swollen in ways That I hate to say “I love you” Love me back Or say it harder That's my martyrdom Come off the cross, for a moment, Would you for us? And bend over Or bow, if you will? If I did, Would you still call me wicked Or just a Good witch Since I'm a woman, I just couldn't be Jesus, Who you asked for once And always Who you asked for some To save you from your Credit reports And consorts Or some sort of Nonsense [famous last words] God don't speak much English, She says God don't speak much these days We were Always Telepathic That was way back then When Oedipus Rex Was on the Guest list I was standing at the coat check, asking Why I must take off my hat When entering the service To the bouncer, he says “That's just politics” I said, That's just politics We both said, What's the difference Then we all laughed —then we all just laughed and laughed Exchange is my favorite exchange Where my favorite exchanges Have happened for centuries Of engagements Endeared species, And races pieces haven't tasted the same Since I haven't had them Animal products And animal planet I found this hat on Discovery channel Did you want it? I can't stand it So I had to have it back I just had to use the bathroom I just had to disconnect From [] See— I don't even have to put the words in Cause a name is just words When that's a man You just can't have And that's the worse When that's a man And you can't have him What a habit. Silky rabbit. Now he's the Ace. All In A Day's Work I've never died before. Oh… that is terrifying. It sounds terrible. It's really not that bad. Why are you not writing this down? I just need a moment… It's really not that bad… I die all the time. Look, I told you, stay away from that guy. Who, what—Dillon Francis? I'm telling you, there's something wrong with him. I'm pretty sure he's like—indifferent— “Indifferent” haha. Sure. Okay. I think he's getting engaged or something DILLON FRANCIS RAGE KILLS EVERYTHING. What the fuck are you doing. He has a tendency to get jealous, sometimes, I guess [DILLON FRANCIS IS A DESTRUCTIVE HUMAN BEING (with excessively jealous tendencies)] #GHOSTEDDDD This guy?! SERIOUSLY?! I mean, he's kinda cute, isn't he? Is he?! Almost, cuter than you, I think, probably. UAAAGGGGGGHHHHH. [HEART destroys an entire TELEVISION] what the FUCK, DILLON FRANCIS— That's was a RELIC. It was a vintage television set RELIC IS LIKE A SYNONYM FOR THOSE KINDS OF THINGS. SHUT UP, ACTUALLY. Okay so like HEART and GHOST are twin flames— Who whose this dude, then?! He's just my MUSE, rn, okay?! OK?! oh look, cool, he does music too. ahahaha Do something funny, I guess. Hey Hazel. Do a backflip. Okay, daddy! Oh wow, that's— WHATTHEFUK —that's from my other series. That's neat, He's cool, I think. I'm gonna keep writing this. WHAT ABOUT ME. What about you?! How's your girlfriend, actually? MY FAKE GIRLFRIEND, YOU MEAN. What: Oh. What's she reading! I can't see Robert Greene Laws of Seduction Okay. So. Here's what you do. You have to get her to think THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND. HER EYES ARE BLUE, SHES REALLY PRETTY. Ok. Ouch. She's—she's perfect actually. *sniffles* Ok. —oh, by the way, are you still like, into Sonny or anything THE MEXICAN SKRILLEX *satanizing* No, actually, I think I was just getting over that whole thing. Okay, well, great: This is my girlfriend *actually crying* She is better than you. At everything. *sobbing* OkAY! I would never date you. Alright… I'm not in “love” with you or anything *inconsolable crying* I wear CARHART EVERYTHING, now, Cause she's like— Caucasian, and everything, so I LOVE EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR COUNTRY. Thanks, boogie T No problems CHANNEL TRES I AM THE CONTROLLER BOOGIE T I'm subtly racist, So this album artwork indicates That if you're the fucking controller I'm the one holding the controller, Actually controlling everything EDM industry Okay, Let the blacks in, But let them know that there's like A pecking order to these things… Oh look, a pelican [RAVE INDUSTRY BEING OVERTLY RACIST.] Kaleena Zanders See. Who are you, again? If you're the guy holding the controller, I'm the programmer, writing the game You stupid fucking— All of you are fucking idiots, I quit. I'm gonna go kiss ass With the TV people. Well fuck you, okay. NO, FUCK YOU, DILLON FRANCIS. KELLY (LIAM KYLE SULLIVAN) FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU KELLY ZIMMERMAN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU——- I love the clout riding on this shit, Really? You kept his last name? Well, yeah-/ I was just rich before I married that guy “The first wives club” Now I'm famous. BEFORE: DEADMAU5 INCUBUS KELLY SUCCUBUS FIGHT [the festival project, or whatever] DILLON FRANCIS is DESTROYING EVERYTHING in a fit of JEALOUS RAGE. Idk what that dude is about, honestly. CUT TO: Meditating peacefully, relaxed. [a moment of calm and peaceful eloquence before] [a silenced pistol goes off] Headshot. Nice. Okay, get the body. Ahahaha. Fuckin. —Suck my dick. Sai Psy. See you in seven years, then. You're so silly— I'm not going to live seven more years. We'll see about that. You will see. I'll be dead. So I'll be dead. So it is. A summer hiatus, Vacations in Prague, yes Let's pray for the rest of us A sign of the times and a coming of ages Who made you famous again As the rest of us I don't like it As much as I'd like to Keep writing Keep finding the reason to die and you're blinded by kindnesses And I ams I woke up in the 9th dimension, As an infinite friend Familiar with my kitchen JOHN SLATTERY An interesting thing happened this morning. What's that, John? I woke up as John Slattery Just remember what love holds The death of a salesman, rechargeable batteries This walk could take forever in designer jeans Another day in slave hell The controllers controlling And Satan is Sataning Seems like a time to go clubbing It's a simple kind of depression Resting on your head when All you simply wished is the taste of flesh The freedom of skin And the lather of love— Or blood spatter on the pavement Aim for the head If the door's fixed, then we'll break it again Look what greed does I hate lazy days in Manhattan Cause I've never had one What happened on the way to the forum I was starstruck; Five finger death punch Right in the heart I wish I was punctual Right on time for lunch Don't you want to talk to someone more pungent? Don't you got models to robot? Don't you know I never want to hurt you But you know, I'm going to hurt you. You know I'm going to hurt you Now, the review: Sooner or later, I fall over your world Good dudes in drags Good food for thought I'm a dog With the wrong parts You should take Kanye to the mall With a migrants lanyard (The migrants are anarchists! Good one, God) This one goes to. | this one fist, from Which one are you ? I guess we are one in the same It's a famous radio tower Live up to your name Go sell your flower for flour As I stand at the jumping point Eye on Manhattan, The wind beneath my wings Distracting myself from the mansion I haven't The mason jars I ought to buy for bargain The brain and brain cereal I left at the market I used to love Brandy Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome “The Album I Wrote On My Way To The Rock To Return Amazon Purchases No Longer Wanted” That's a really long album title. I didn't imagine I'd write this much Just trying not to imagine this man in his under pants, Or what have you (I'm just a fan) I'm just a dad hunched over in the bathroom Must have been the magic of my backhand, backfired Must have come untied and undone, under the rainbow Must me on my way to Manhattan For some blacklist event. Where I'm from The A List Is a face No name needed “Oh, I know who you are” If I purchased a car today I might get done paying it off By my 81st birthday. Shady. If I had a penny for every mistake I made, I would probably be Nameless. If there was a namesake to lay me into my grave, it would make sense; Yes, let's move the train for a moment With the doors still open. — I'd like to watch what happens. So what happens when the sun comes up On the only body you've ever known And no one wants it What happens with a dude named Starr Punches you over and over again And then no one loves you (That's starstruck, your honor) What happens when granted a pardon for passions And everything happens after is magic What happens when all you want is to go manic To finish the album And just feel good again What happens when the algorithm has Al Gore in it? What happens when the rhythm in blues is just the attraction of random black men and their concubine counterparts? Huh, what happens! What happens, Kanye? What happens, the God? What happens when all that you want is a disgusting assumption of. No on can trust you And nobody loves you Since it was simply a tryst Put this at a distance. Where did my energy disappear to! Where in the fear is my other earring? Fuck. Be somewhere, anywhere else but your office, for the moment. Be anyone but a mother, Anywhere but your apartment— It hurts, the construction. Someone doesn't something Nobody knows nothing about me, But what I put in this caskets (This podcast) Oh hey, I got fuck muscles from fuckin myself now! I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't have sex! For real! Heal, Oh great dragon, HEAL, BITCH. Word. woof for the world Will for the wolf; Rain on the roof. Cobain don't have a God (Or a Gun, if you wanted that one) “Pull me up, God, I'm done under here” He called in I followed the fosters to farrow And got better I got better and bitter much quicker and Never in bed had I been as flexible As to kiss his chest As I kicked my own neck With my left foot. What the fucjing fairyshit is that. There, I fixed it. Fixed what. I don't know what. But I fixed it. I know, huh! So be 110 and flexible Powerlift tectonic plates Do Pilates And make waffles!? Alright, I can do that But only as Jennifer Aniston I'd like to take back that Fallon I bought at the black market He's broken. I like his band tho— The one on the left hand, Over the damaged one. Are you on to that? Says the sayer, Son of Sam So Sai the sage Sets the stage Is that the plan? Never fall for a man, Even over an alter And tied by the hands. All I see in my initials initially is B Minor 16 might be minors, guys But she's creaming to find you At the front lines Life of a superstar DJ At the cross roads Or the turnstiles How do you turn bile into Beguiling Without rifling a few feathers Or looking into the eye of the rifle And dying first Don't you let that tear fall from you onto the M Train. I'm just training for fame And hating you ever day Since we made it Love Get out of my way, Satan I'm staying I'm saying your name sake insanely Please break me Like a chicken leg Or just shake me from this existence Since I don't seem fit for it Anymore than I fit that Givchechy dress you gave that blonde, right? Am I dying! Or just dying inside Fuck coughs If you want him enough to. Use black magic To do that to me, wait till it falls back on you, You gross hag If god hates fags as much as he hates blacks We should fly flags over the haggis I made Alice When she's back from her adventures in wonderland No wonder you're a Monro Crossed over from O'Fallons It's an old warfare with two clans From the old countries With no borders Or border collies Laboradores And labirites, likely As Aphrodite is to smite me So here comes DJ Francis With his new black girlfriend Just kidding We all know in his world It's cold and broken With nothing but blue eyes And big wild to look over you Bro, standing up is not going to make this train go anywhere. I almost promise you. Turns out there's no such thing as a quick trip to the rock. Turns out you'll sit stuck in your own sick God as my witness For screenshotting those ass pictures —that's somebody's kids, dick. tick tok has no limits. VO Of course, The day and time I should have to go to Rockerfeller Plaza quickly, quietly and unseen, the train is magically destined not to move. I've been sitting here at least a half hour, with no end in sight— The doors close and the train begins moving. Hahaha Fucking hilarious, God. I've been avoiding The Rock like the plague— Not that I think anything would happen at all upon arrival— who am I, anyway? Nobody important. There she goes. Still, I've written enough about it, and the people inside and around it, That the place makes me nervous. More nervous than ever, that is, actually— I always felt weird in the place. [flashbacks] When I first got to New York, I would end up there on accident. Completely by accident. Lost. Faulty navigation. Hackers: Whatever. I always just— By complete fucking accident Ended up at Rockerfeller Plaza The city slips over us, as the train sinks back underground — I'm facing the city now, As not to be reminded of my abuser's toxic words and toxic hands, By dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpacks Still, etched into the subway walls Are two stars, which remind me to repeat the mantra: Starr Michael Roberts is a pedophile wifebeater Less of a manta than the truest words ever spoken, But that's all the shape of a five point star means to me now or will ever mean to me And to think, The American flag has 50 of the 50 wife beating pedophile men On a red white and blue flag That waves just to remind me I was born a fat ugly noack woman To be a slave And there's no one to save us I want to senselessly beat the man in the dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpack Just like I was beaten senselessly by the man called Starr, The devil in disguise as my first love Still trying to chase my soul from its dream Back into his nightmarish under realms of unhygienic hatred, vomit stained rugs And poss stained couches, Phlegm on the walls and Nothing on but Diablo And old episodes of the sopranos. —but I still love the sopranos; And I still love my one and only Good thing that ever happened From an awful marriage That buried me wonder what's on this side of the train to write Maybe nothing Nothing I like, anyway Some guy that just thinks imm some ugly black bitch Of course All the white rich dudes Are horrible I miss the poor surfers Blowing blunts and wishing they was with blondes, With me tucked under their arms I need a tummy tuck to find love Goddamn, Imm miserable just sitting here At least I get a glance at her The tattooed God With the pink hair Where's Wanda Sai the Saige Don't say ahit Unless its music Sai the Saige says Turn the page For more sermons Sai the Saige sings her words carefully Write forwards for whole books in four words Four worlds down, Now four more. That's a world tour. Lil biiiiiiitzzz Bro, I might never have sex again. There's a new STD on the loose And patient zero is a white man from New York in his 30's FUCKING GROSS. Where's wanda Where's Waldo Ah FUCK I got your wallet WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. SOMETHING which one are you?! Nothing, nobody. Sunni?! I'm not Sonny, you're Sonny. I'm not— Don't say it Whatever Where is it? Where's what? The rock You're on the rock! I that's not — Stop it what I meant! Which one are you— Who are you 8mm I'm the cosmic— Whatever the fuck. Gimmie the rock Get off of me I think too much I think I have a disease I think too much But I don't think much of me It's just as much as I want A three musketeers bar, That's far fetched For a vegan With 12 dollars in the budget For the rest of the month Goddamn. One down 20 to go Call someone To take your husband Home I'm drunk m I'm stuck in this thought At the bottom of the rock Damn. 8 always get lost here Not today though, I hope Follow the smell of coffe tbigg us h the open doors This the stairs up a couple stores. Muscle memory l Wait. Are there stairs to the top of the rock? I would walk them Shazam, what's this lame ass fucking song? Ugh, at least I have muscle memory. OUCH, COME ON. OUCH. Come with me. Ugh. I have so fuck to do. Okay, now what do I do? Just jump! That seems like a bad idea. It's the only idea you've got. That's not even my idea! —but it's the only idea you've got! OKAY, I've got an idea! What's it? Wtf, I've never even seen this many people here. What is this, a field trip. GODDAMIT JUST JMP. i can't, I'm scared! Okay. Then I'll push you. M No don't *push* helicopter: fluh-fluh-fluh- THERE HE IS— WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AGHHHHHHHH. GISNT BIRD OF PREHy- SNATCH. GODDAMN Turn sim down Okay, how much. Just a little How's that That's better. Okay. Look, I am not interested in you. I get that, Jimmy Fallon. I am just doing my job, okay. I get it, Jim. Okay?! Do you understand. I understand. Okay? Okay. Okay. So what is your job, exactly? I keep my mouth shut, Hands fisted misdirected, But staying on track Thank god they put this shit here Hands in my pocket equals words h documented I can't help but to admit I almost want even writing before this Now fast forward Every time I'm under this, it feels like I'm already in my own show or something Of course, I used to love a good revolving door Shit I used to love at all Man! I hate the rock! Why. Cause fuck Jimmy Fallon, that's why! why?! CAUSE. Look, the you from the other dimension should be coming around that corner any minute. Okay, for what. To use the restroom. Make sure she They: What. Me is a “they” Whatever. I love the rush of death telling me to jump as the oncoming train approaches from behind me I could be blinded by the light. Look, 6'3 God knows what I need And that makes history Make sure when you when she goes into the bathroom, find Fallon and give him the— I know what to do. Alright, YO. NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm married with a family! I don't find you attractive! At all! I know that, asshole! I only want you for your fame and money! Wait, really? No, you handsome basta'd! Goddammit… Goddammit! Sunni!? I knew that was you! It is me—but the other me is somewhere, so take this—quickly back to the 4th dimension—- This is the fourth dimension! Wait, it is?! YES. What dimension did you think it was The 8th! The 8th?! THAT EXISTS?! yeah!!! Where the fuck are you from?! The third, I thought! Thank god, here's this fucking train. Well, fuck off, then! I gotta go find the 8th dimensional Jimmy Fallon! What! For what?! That's priveleged information Ascended extraterrestrials only, broh! Woah, woah, woah, don't “bro” me. I said “broh” What?! That's what I said— No, you said— Whatever. “Broh”,— —now you said it— —I'm coming with you— Don't be homo. —but, you're a woman, I thought. That's what's you think. That's what the tabloids said… You wanna know what the tabloids said about you? In which dimension? Right?! Now shut up. Come on. [they move quickly towards the— Towards the where? I don't know. I've only ever been at the bottom of the rock: I don't get it. If the antenna is on the top, Then why did my vibe go. GLUH. Sorry: No , that's a lot; what is that: —you really think imm handsome? I think you're an asshole. I hate writing at the rock (Launching to onesel.) You look ridiculous. At least i can just write it off to “Mental Health Problems” MEANWHILE Check it out. The devil is following me. What. Wanna see. What the FUCK is that? He wants my soul. WOAH. Yeah, cool, right. No! Yeah it is… What the hell happened I aucked him off once: You what. Calm down. I didn't know it was the devil. Holy! It's was un Unholy See. Damn Satan,!697 are fucking gross. Yeah. Nice tattoos though. I thought you'd like this. I do. Who's your body? Some drunk. The alcoholics are so easy. What about my soul. What about your soul, dude? Why doesn't he want my soul? He already has your soul. What?! I never sold my soled my soul. That's what you think. Oh, I get it comcast owns Jimmy Fallon. Actually, Nancy Drew does, or whatever. What's her name Nancy! HUH- what!! DREW BARRYMORE. GET IN HERE!!!! woah. Okay. I gotta get back to the 90's. Why! I left my DREW BARRYMORE GODDAMIT. Sorry, JUST GET OUT. She is cute, though. She's so fucking cute. Hey, What. Put me on your hit list, For what. Cause. No way, dude. So it's this Nancy Drew Character Uh huh. Then Comcast Correct. Then NBC/Universal. uh-huh Then Lorne Michaels— Wait Correct. Fuck man. So you mean the portion of Jimmy Fallon I won in that game of 8 dimensional poker is pretty much nothin. It's pretty much— Worthless. Not worthless. What are you saying— I'm saying— I'm not a real woman I just saw a real woman With a long skirt And a body worthy of love Beautiful hair And face like porcelain Nothing upon the sleeves strewn in ink Petite I could never be a real woman Actually, you know what. I could have worn anything But I'm not showing up for anything at Rockerfeller Plaza dressed like my inner cunslut YOUR “INNER” CUMSLUT THAT WSS AWESOME I know, God. *belches juicy semen, slurps* You're—a fucking awful person, though, just awful. I know. Just—disgusting. Yeah, but— —that was the best blowjob I ever had Yep. *burps—slurps* ufgh. —and you swallowed all of it. I don't know how! Both: That's was so much! Haha yeah: Jinx! You owe me a blowjob. Okay! You're fucking gross. Yeah. Oh wow. That went deep. I mean, not really “deep” it went aural. *oral* I swear to god if you publish this POSTED DAMN. that dude is good looking. Why is he dating someone that looks like a mouseS Maybe he's into mouce face I guess. I'm into mouse face. [deadmau5] Be nice. Hey! What: what do you want That guys an asshole! Duh! Okay. I love white people But they're weird sometimes I was lookin at this dude on the train Like real hard, And I swear to God, I couldn't tell if that was his girl Or his twin sister I was like What I the fuck am I lookin at Idk but I like it It's almost refreshing to see sliders that aren't made of plastic or whatever awful material OH. CONAN O BRIEN YEAH. But mad young. That's— LUCIFER! Hahahaha what GET BACK HERE. DAMN. That's one good looking kid. Dammit dammit dammit A bunch of handsome white dudes I want nothing to do with It's true I do like the fame The power The respect The money, I could give or take Or make my own Just so you'll date me The power, I like The respect and the fame So your name came and went with the hour l And the sunset I might take walk in the rain Because my body is ugly And I just want to be loved A husband Two dogs And pushing a stroller Of course, there's the part that just wants to have fun Get fucked up Love someone I trust enough To rub against Without a rubber Against the grain Our heads together He grabs the back of my neck And I just can't handle it Fuck. I love mad men— and I love men when they're mad Especially Fallon That's somebody's dad in the bathtub, yeah mate Somebody back at the opera Probably phantoms There you go You've got you a girl So grab her hand And hold onto her Don't let her know If yo love or fuck someone else Just for the fun of it Don't break her head and her heart at the same time She might not come back from it Like I never did I never came back I was punched in the face maybe 5 Or like 6 times Before I got up, became Skrillex, went for a a run with the dogs And then did it again Never was god, though I got a lot of problems I love the waterfront But no one loves me I'm left in the lobby a lot Like Mikey, in that one song I guess I'm destiny Or perhaps I'm your density Once upon a time, I walked here Once a upon a time, I worked here, Shout out to number six. This one is sung for you This verse undoes the hex. Remind me to get your mom hallmark cart, someone uttered I fucking love her Remember to stop at the shopping carts before you long walk home Almost hoping you're soaked in the strange acid rai. So hard You forget what your name is I spent a whole plot of a film Just trying to be famous Luckily, I think The Tonight Show stops taping in the summer, So with any luck, The real Jimmy Fallon is somewhere in Greece or some shit Rich assholes and their summer vacations— I'm guessing, But still unwavering in the back of my mind somewhere That no matter what, Whenever I'm at 30 Rock, I'm being watched. The entire cast of 30 rock is watching the legends saga in 3D, along with some of the keynote cast of Saturday night live— Don't be selfish I'm not. I don't know what else I used to watched that's owned by this media conglomerate ahem. SLASH/Universal. Oh, so we are doing this back to the future revamp depends, are you gonna keep being fat, Or be spry, like Marty McFly And just for the fuck of it, You're the new Hanson in the new 21 Jumpstreet Movie SUNNI BLU Aight, SUPA Dammit. TINA FEY Do you smell donuts. LIZ LEMON no, it's cookies Follow the smell of the cookies. I get it. I got it. Try to remain unseen! LOOK AT ME. I'M AT THE BASE OF A GIANT PE— COCK. LUTZ When's the action?! Notes: Chocolate man makes everything chocolate Okay. That's stupid. Chocolate! Chocolate! Uhhh—- What are you doing here?!? I work here…what are you doing here? I have tenure. *purses lips* [tina tries to hide the entire cast Reunion of late 90s/early 2000's SNL cast members behind her (Nervously) tah—uh; I thought you were on vacation. I redacted it. What does that mean? I know what it means. Mm. What does that mean. I read the comics. I have something to tell you. Okay, what. It can't be over the phone. Okay. Where the firefighters is? I got some propolis cough syrup for the stalkers [The Festival Project™]# {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

02. Annie was not that smart || Annie had half a heart Annie, poor Annie Was full of hot air, Yes Annie was just a fart Annie was bad at cards, But Annie could drive a car Annie poor Annie Just ran out of gas, Poor Annie— That's just the start! Annie goes out to bar; Annie's so good at darts Annie poor Annie She acts like a man, But Annie is not from mars. Annie was drunk that night Me and Annie just got in a fight Annie, poor Annie— She just couldn't dance No, Annie just wasn't right || I'm so sick I'm so tired Of all Of these services Asking For money It's donuts, you know And I don't eat sugar I'm sick of my curves— They're so perfect, But her, she has none And you love her And you're what I want So Fuck this I'm a disaster I'll be here after the show For a while But don't talk to me! I'm just a broken Soul A guitarist Who knows only Words At the surface I'd rather be her (I just want to go home with you; If I take my clothes off, You'll probably throw up, though) I just want to go home You know Kingdom come Or whatever you call it When you're just Done I got blood under my fingernails If I cut myself, It starts pouring rain I got blood under my eyes, But if I Now I know too well, The well of tears on my guitar She's got a body like one Oh her curves But I just wonder what it like to be loved By stars Socialites and superstars They're Gods, you know How high up they are Above us And he lives in an ascended dimension, But he insists, he says Her transcendence is upon us He said Your transcendence is upon us He says these things, And then just vanishes So she gets up promptly Warms up yesterday's coffee Looks around in her coffin And wonders What for I just Wonder what it's like to be loved by stars Without double r's, you know I've got scars But it's mostly just Teardrops, and soft kisses On my guitar Cause, oh, Oli, I ain't got nobody— And nobody holds me Like I hold Oli (Could have been Ali, But of course— I had already lost that one A whole well of tears, I lost At his departure And a whole well more When I actually lost him I almost miss Having someone to talk to About anything and everything But I've got Oli And God now I've got Oli And Oli (oli) Is all that I've got Besides God That's the only contact In my Phone book No more double Ls And double entendres; No more double rs At all Just scars now No more metaphors. Honest is radical I like them cynical I should have clinical insanity by now But I'm only just an artist You can't help But can only harm that And if it hurts hard enough I'll put art on my walls Become permanent Storybooks all over my arms now My coat of arms now I've run Ten point 5 miles In the last 3 days; But if I rest today Will a motorcycle gang Have a parade outside of my window, To drive me crazy? I hope it rains, So they can't play these games with my head And the seeds that I planted So deep become daisies I still don't remember The way he rearranged me But these days I make my name sound So the way He can never say it Just imitates The way I hate myself I should be dating But expressions are Atrocious If I fall asleep— Who knows I may get Stolen That tends to happen So I'm All the way up And I'm swollen in ways That I hate to say “I love you” Love me back Or say it harder That's my martyrdom Come off the cross, for a moment, Would you for us? And bend over Or bow, if you will? If I did, Would you still call me wicked Or just a Good witch Since I'm a woman, I just couldn't be Jesus, Who you asked for once And always Who you asked for some To save you from your Credit reports And consorts Or some sort of Nonsense [famous last words] God don't speak much English, She says God don't speak much these days We were Always Telepathic That was way back then When Oedipus Rex Was on the Guest list I was standing at the coat check, asking Why I must take off my hat When entering the service To the bouncer, he says “That's just politics” I said, That's just politics We both said, What's the difference Then we all laughed —then we all just laughed and laughed Exchange is my favorite exchange Where my favorite exchanges Have happened for centuries Of engagements Endeared species, And races pieces haven't tasted the same Since I haven't had them Animal products And animal planet I found this hat on Discovery channel Did you want it? I can't stand it So I had to have it back I just had to use the bathroom I just had to disconnect From [] See— I don't even have to put the words in Cause a name is just words When that's a man You just can't have And that's the worse When that's a man And you can't have him What a habit. Silky rabbit. Now he's the Ace. All In A Day's Work I've never died before. Oh… that is terrifying. It sounds terrible. It's really not that bad. Why are you not writing this down? I just need a moment… It's really not that bad… I die all the time. Look, I told you, stay away from that guy. Who, what—Dillon Francis? I'm telling you, there's something wrong with him. I'm pretty sure he's like—indifferent— “Indifferent” haha. Sure. Okay. I think he's getting engaged or something DILLON FRANCIS RAGE KILLS EVERYTHING. What the fuck are you doing. He has a tendency to get jealous, sometimes, I guess [DILLON FRANCIS IS A DESTRUCTIVE HUMAN BEING (with excessively jealous tendencies)] #GHOSTEDDDD This guy?! SERIOUSLY?! I mean, he's kinda cute, isn't he? Is he?! Almost, cuter than you, I think, probably. UAAAGGGGGGHHHHH. [HEART destroys an entire TELEVISION] what the FUCK, DILLON FRANCIS— That's was a RELIC. It was a vintage television set RELIC IS LIKE A SYNONYM FOR THOSE KINDS OF THINGS. SHUT UP, ACTUALLY. Okay so like HEART and GHOST are twin flames— Who whose this dude, then?! He's just my MUSE, rn, okay?! OK?! oh look, cool, he does music too. ahahaha Do something funny, I guess. Hey Hazel. Do a backflip. Okay, daddy! Oh wow, that's— WHATTHEFUK —that's from my other series. That's neat, He's cool, I think. I'm gonna keep writing this. WHAT ABOUT ME. What about you?! How's your girlfriend, actually? MY FAKE GIRLFRIEND, YOU MEAN. What: Oh. What's she reading! I can't see Robert Greene Laws of Seduction Okay. So. Here's what you do. You have to get her to think THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND. HER EYES ARE BLUE, SHES REALLY PRETTY. Ok. Ouch. She's—she's perfect actually. *sniffles* Ok. —oh, by the way, are you still like, into Sonny or anything THE MEXICAN SKRILLEX *satanizing* No, actually, I think I was just getting over that whole thing. Okay, well, great: This is my girlfriend *actually crying* She is better than you. At everything. *sobbing* OkAY! I would never date you. Alright… I'm not in “love” with you or anything *inconsolable crying* I wear CARHART EVERYTHING, now, Cause she's like— Caucasian, and everything, so I LOVE EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR COUNTRY. Thanks, boogie T No problems CHANNEL TRES I AM THE CONTROLLER BOOGIE T I'm subtly racist, So this album artwork indicates That if you're the fucking controller I'm the one holding the controller, Actually controlling everything EDM industry Okay, Let the blacks in, But let them know that there's like A pecking order to these things… Oh look, a pelican [RAVE INDUSTRY BEING OVERTLY RACIST.] Kaleena Zanders See. Who are you, again? If you're the guy holding the controller, I'm the programmer, writing the game You stupid fucking— All of you are fucking idiots, I quit. I'm gonna go kiss ass With the TV people. Well fuck you, okay. NO, FUCK YOU, DILLON FRANCIS. KELLY (LIAM KYLE SULLIVAN) FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU KELLY ZIMMERMAN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU——- I love the clout riding on this shit, Really? You kept his last name? Well, yeah-/ I was just rich before I married that guy “The first wives club” Now I'm famous. BEFORE: DEADMAU5 INCUBUS KELLY SUCCUBUS FIGHT [the festival project, or whatever] DILLON FRANCIS is DESTROYING EVERYTHING in a fit of JEALOUS RAGE. Idk what that dude is about, honestly. CUT TO: Meditating peacefully, relaxed. [a moment of calm and peaceful eloquence before] [a silenced pistol goes off] Headshot. Nice. Okay, get the body. Ahahaha. Fuckin. —Suck my dick. Sai Psy. See you in seven years, then. You're so silly— I'm not going to live seven more years. We'll see about that. You will see. I'll be dead. So I'll be dead. So it is. A summer hiatus, Vacations in Prague, yes Let's pray for the rest of us A sign of the times and a coming of ages Who made you famous again As the rest of us I don't like it As much as I'd like to Keep writing Keep finding the reason to die and you're blinded by kindnesses And I ams I woke up in the 9th dimension, As an infinite friend Familiar with my kitchen JOHN SLATTERY An interesting thing happened this morning. What's that, John? I woke up as John Slattery Just remember what love holds The death of a salesman, rechargeable batteries This walk could take forever in designer jeans Another day in slave hell The controllers controlling And Satan is Sataning Seems like a time to go clubbing It's a simple kind of depression Resting on your head when All you simply wished is the taste of flesh The freedom of skin And the lather of love— Or blood spatter on the pavement Aim for the head If the door's fixed, then we'll break it again Look what greed does I hate lazy days in Manhattan Cause I've never had one What happened on the way to the forum I was starstruck; Five finger death punch Right in the heart I wish I was punctual Right on time for lunch Don't you want to talk to someone more pungent? Don't you got models to robot? Don't you know I never want to hurt you But you know, I'm going to hurt you. You know I'm going to hurt you Now, the review: Sooner or later, I fall over your world Good dudes in drags Good food for thought I'm a dog With the wrong parts You should take Kanye to the mall With a migrants lanyard (The migrants are anarchists! Good one, God) This one goes to. | this one fist, from Which one are you ? I guess we are one in the same It's a famous radio tower Live up to your name Go sell your flower for flour As I stand at the jumping point Eye on Manhattan, The wind beneath my wings Distracting myself from the mansion I haven't The mason jars I ought to buy for bargain The brain and brain cereal I left at the market I used to love Brandy Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome Now I just wish I was something, awesome “The Album I Wrote On My Way To The Rock To Return Amazon Purchases No Longer Wanted” That's a really long album title. I didn't imagine I'd write this much Just trying not to imagine this man in his under pants, Or what have you (I'm just a fan) I'm just a dad hunched over in the bathroom Must have been the magic of my backhand, backfired Must have come untied and undone, under the rainbow Must me on my way to Manhattan For some blacklist event. Where I'm from The A List Is a face No name needed “Oh, I know who you are” If I purchased a car today I might get done paying it off By my 81st birthday. Shady. If I had a penny for every mistake I made, I would probably be Nameless. If there was a namesake to lay me into my grave, it would make sense; Yes, let's move the train for a moment With the doors still open. — I'd like to watch what happens. So what happens when the sun comes up On the only body you've ever known And no one wants it What happens with a dude named Starr Punches you over and over again And then no one loves you (That's starstruck, your honor) What happens when granted a pardon for passions And everything happens after is magic What happens when all you want is to go manic To finish the album And just feel good again What happens when the algorithm has Al Gore in it? What happens when the rhythm in blues is just the attraction of random black men and their concubine counterparts? Huh, what happens! What happens, Kanye? What happens, the God? What happens when all that you want is a disgusting assumption of. No on can trust you And nobody loves you Since it was simply a tryst Put this at a distance. Where did my energy disappear to! Where in the fear is my other earring? Fuck. Be somewhere, anywhere else but your office, for the moment. Be anyone but a mother, Anywhere but your apartment— It hurts, the construction. Someone doesn't something Nobody knows nothing about me, But what I put in this caskets (This podcast) Oh hey, I got fuck muscles from fuckin myself now! I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't have sex! For real! Heal, Oh great dragon, HEAL, BITCH. Word. woof for the world Will for the wolf; Rain on the roof. Cobain don't have a God (Or a Gun, if you wanted that one) “Pull me up, God, I'm done under here” He called in I followed the fosters to farrow And got better I got better and bitter much quicker and Never in bed had I been as flexible As to kiss his chest As I kicked my own neck With my left foot. What the fucjing fairyshit is that. There, I fixed it. Fixed what. I don't know what. But I fixed it. I know, huh! So be 110 and flexible Powerlift tectonic plates Do Pilates And make waffles!? Alright, I can do that But only as Jennifer Aniston I'd like to take back that Fallon I bought at the black market He's broken. I like his band tho— The one on the left hand, Over the damaged one. Are you on to that? Says the sayer, Son of Sam So Sai the sage Sets the stage Is that the plan? Never fall for a man, Even over an alter And tied by the hands. All I see in my initials initially is B Minor 16 might be minors, guys But she's creaming to find you At the front lines Life of a superstar DJ At the cross roads Or the turnstiles How do you turn bile into Beguiling Without rifling a few feathers Or looking into the eye of the rifle And dying first Don't you let that tear fall from you onto the M Train. I'm just training for fame And hating you ever day Since we made it Love Get out of my way, Satan I'm staying I'm saying your name sake insanely Please break me Like a chicken leg Or just shake me from this existence Since I don't seem fit for it Anymore than I fit that Givchechy dress you gave that blonde, right? Am I dying! Or just dying inside Fuck coughs If you want him enough to. Use black magic To do that to me, wait till it falls back on you, You gross hag If god hates fags as much as he hates blacks We should fly flags over the haggis I made Alice When she's back from her adventures in wonderland No wonder you're a Monro Crossed over from O'Fallons It's an old warfare with two clans From the old countries With no borders Or border collies Laboradores And labirites, likely As Aphrodite is to smite me So here comes DJ Francis With his new black girlfriend Just kidding We all know in his world It's cold and broken With nothing but blue eyes And big wild to look over you Bro, standing up is not going to make this train go anywhere. I almost promise you. Turns out there's no such thing as a quick trip to the rock. Turns out you'll sit stuck in your own sick God as my witness For screenshotting those ass pictures —that's somebody's kids, dick. tick tok has no limits. VO Of course, The day and time I should have to go to Rockerfeller Plaza quickly, quietly and unseen, the train is magically destined not to move. I've been sitting here at least a half hour, with no end in sight— The doors close and the train begins moving. Hahaha Fucking hilarious, God. I've been avoiding The Rock like the plague— Not that I think anything would happen at all upon arrival— who am I, anyway? Nobody important. There she goes. Still, I've written enough about it, and the people inside and around it, That the place makes me nervous. More nervous than ever, that is, actually— I always felt weird in the place. [flashbacks] When I first got to New York, I would end up there on accident. Completely by accident. Lost. Faulty navigation. Hackers: Whatever. I always just— By complete fucking accident Ended up at Rockerfeller Plaza The city slips over us, as the train sinks back underground — I'm facing the city now, As not to be reminded of my abuser's toxic words and toxic hands, By dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpacks Still, etched into the subway walls Are two stars, which remind me to repeat the mantra: Starr Michael Roberts is a pedophile wifebeater Less of a manta than the truest words ever spoken, But that's all the shape of a five point star means to me now or will ever mean to me And to think, The American flag has 50 of the 50 wife beating pedophile men On a red white and blue flag That waves just to remind me I was born a fat ugly noack woman To be a slave And there's no one to save us I want to senselessly beat the man in the dirty white Nikes and Jansport backpack Just like I was beaten senselessly by the man called Starr, The devil in disguise as my first love Still trying to chase my soul from its dream Back into his nightmarish under realms of unhygienic hatred, vomit stained rugs And poss stained couches, Phlegm on the walls and Nothing on but Diablo And old episodes of the sopranos. —but I still love the sopranos; And I still love my one and only Good thing that ever happened From an awful marriage That buried me wonder what's on this side of the train to write Maybe nothing Nothing I like, anyway Some guy that just thinks imm some ugly black bitch Of course All the white rich dudes Are horrible I miss the poor surfers Blowing blunts and wishing they was with blondes, With me tucked under their arms I need a tummy tuck to find love Goddamn, Imm miserable just sitting here At least I get a glance at her The tattooed God With the pink hair Where's Wanda Sai the Saige Don't say ahit Unless its music Sai the Saige says Turn the page For more sermons Sai the Saige sings her words carefully Write forwards for whole books in four words Four worlds down, Now four more. That's a world tour. Lil biiiiiiitzzz Bro, I might never have sex again. There's a new STD on the loose And patient zero is a white man from New York in his 30's FUCKING GROSS. Where's wanda Where's Waldo Ah FUCK I got your wallet WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. SOMETHING which one are you?! Nothing, nobody. Sunni?! I'm not Sonny, you're Sonny. I'm not— Don't say it Whatever Where is it? Where's what? The rock You're on the rock! I that's not — Stop it what I meant! Which one are you— Who are you 8mm I'm the cosmic— Whatever the fuck. Gimmie the rock Get off of me I think too much I think I have a disease I think too much But I don't think much of me It's just as much as I want A three musketeers bar, That's far fetched For a vegan With 12 dollars in the budget For the rest of the month Goddamn. One down 20 to go Call someone To take your husband Home I'm drunk m I'm stuck in this thought At the bottom of the rock Damn. 8 always get lost here Not today though, I hope Follow the smell of coffe tbigg us h the open doors This the stairs up a couple stores. Muscle memory l Wait. Are there stairs to the top of the rock? I would walk them Shazam, what's this lame ass fucking song? Ugh, at least I have muscle memory. OUCH, COME ON. OUCH. Come with me. Ugh. I have so fuck to do. Okay, now what do I do? Just jump! That seems like a bad idea. It's the only idea you've got. That's not even my idea! —but it's the only idea you've got! OKAY, I've got an idea! What's it? Wtf, I've never even seen this many people here. What is this, a field trip. GODDAMIT JUST JMP. i can't, I'm scared! Okay. Then I'll push you. M No don't *push* helicopter: fluh-fluh-fluh- THERE HE IS— WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! AGHHHHHHHH. GISNT BIRD OF PREHy- SNATCH. GODDAMN Turn sim down Okay, how much. Just a little How's that That's better. Okay. Look, I am not interested in you. I get that, Jimmy Fallon. I am just doing my job, okay. I get it, Jim. Okay?! Do you understand. I understand. Okay? Okay. Okay. So what is your job, exactly? I keep my mouth shut, Hands fisted misdirected, But staying on track Thank god they put this shit here Hands in my pocket equals words h documented I can't help but to admit I almost want even writing before this Now fast forward Every time I'm under this, it feels like I'm already in my own show or something Of course, I used to love a good revolving door Shit I used to love at all Man! I hate the rock! Why. Cause fuck Jimmy Fallon, that's why! why?! CAUSE. Look, the you from the other dimension should be coming around that corner any minute. Okay, for what. To use the restroom. Make sure she They: What. Me is a “they” Whatever. I love the rush of death telling me to jump as the oncoming train approaches from behind me I could be blinded by the light. Look, 6'3 God knows what I need And that makes history Make sure when you when she goes into the bathroom, find Fallon and give him the— I know what to do. Alright, YO. NO. LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm married with a family! I don't find you attractive! At all! I know that, asshole! I only want you for your fame and money! Wait, really? No, you handsome basta'd! Goddammit… Goddammit! Sunni!? I knew that was you! It is me—but the other me is somewhere, so take this—quickly back to the 4th dimension—- This is the fourth dimension! Wait, it is?! YES. What dimension did you think it was The 8th! The 8th?! THAT EXISTS?! yeah!!! Where the fuck are you from?! The third, I thought! Thank god, here's this fucking train. Well, fuck off, then! I gotta go find the 8th dimensional Jimmy Fallon! What! For what?! That's priveleged information Ascended extraterrestrials only, broh! Woah, woah, woah, don't “bro” me. I said “broh” What?! That's what I said— No, you said— Whatever. “Broh”,— —now you said it— —I'm coming with you— Don't be homo. —but, you're a woman, I thought. That's what's you think. That's what the tabloids said… You wanna know what the tabloids said about you? In which dimension? Right?! Now shut up. Come on. [they move quickly towards the— Towards the where? I don't know. I've only ever been at the bottom of the rock: I don't get it. If the antenna is on the top, Then why did my vibe go. GLUH. Sorry: No , that's a lot; what is that: —you really think imm handsome? I think you're an asshole. I hate writing at the rock (Launching to onesel.) You look ridiculous. At least i can just write it off to “Mental Health Problems” MEANWHILE Check it out. The devil is following me. What. Wanna see. What the FUCK is that? He wants my soul. WOAH. Yeah, cool, right. No! Yeah it is… What the hell happened I aucked him off once: You what. Calm down. I didn't know it was the devil. Holy! It's was un Unholy See. Damn Satan,!697 are fucking gross. Yeah. Nice tattoos though. I thought you'd like this. I do. Who's your body? Some drunk. The alcoholics are so easy. What about my soul. What about your soul, dude? Why doesn't he want my soul? He already has your soul. What?! I never sold my soled my soul. That's what you think. Oh, I get it comcast owns Jimmy Fallon. Actually, Nancy Drew does, or whatever. What's her name Nancy! HUH- what!! DREW BARRYMORE. GET IN HERE!!!! woah. Okay. I gotta get back to the 90's. Why! I left my DREW BARRYMORE GODDAMIT. Sorry, JUST GET OUT. She is cute, though. She's so fucking cute. Hey, What. Put me on your hit list, For what. Cause. No way, dude. So it's this Nancy Drew Character Uh huh. Then Comcast Correct. Then NBC/Universal. uh-huh Then Lorne Michaels— Wait Correct. Fuck man. So you mean the portion of Jimmy Fallon I won in that game of 8 dimensional poker is pretty much nothin. It's pretty much— Worthless. Not worthless. What are you saying— I'm saying— I'm not a real woman I just saw a real woman With a long skirt And a body worthy of love Beautiful hair And face like porcelain Nothing upon the sleeves strewn in ink Petite I could never be a real woman Actually, you know what. I could have worn anything But I'm not showing up for anything at Rockerfeller Plaza dressed like my inner cunslut YOUR “INNER” CUMSLUT THAT WSS AWESOME I know, God. *belches juicy semen, slurps* You're—a fucking awful person, though, just awful. I know. Just—disgusting. Yeah, but— —that was the best blowjob I ever had Yep. *burps—slurps* ufgh. —and you swallowed all of it. I don't know how! Both: That's was so much! Haha yeah: Jinx! You owe me a blowjob. Okay! You're fucking gross. Yeah. Oh wow. That went deep. I mean, not really “deep” it went aural. *oral* I swear to god if you publish this POSTED DAMN. that dude is good looking. Why is he dating someone that looks like a mouseS Maybe he's into mouce face I guess. I'm into mouse face. [deadmau5] Be nice. Hey! What: what do you want That guys an asshole! Duh! Okay. I love white people But they're weird sometimes I was lookin at this dude on the train Like real hard, And I swear to God, I couldn't tell if that was his girl Or his twin sister I was like What I the fuck am I lookin at Idk but I like it It's almost refreshing to see sliders that aren't made of plastic or whatever awful material OH. CONAN O BRIEN YEAH. But mad young. That's— LUCIFER! Hahahaha what GET BACK HERE. DAMN. That's one good looking kid. Dammit dammit dammit A bunch of handsome white dudes I want nothing to do with It's true I do like the fame The power The respect The money, I could give or take Or make my own Just so you'll date me The power, I like The respect and the fame So your name came and went with the hour l And the sunset I might take walk in the rain Because my body is ugly And I just want to be loved A husband Two dogs And pushing a stroller Of course, there's the part that just wants to have fun Get fucked up Love someone I trust enough To rub against Without a rubber Against the grain Our heads together He grabs the back of my neck And I just can't handle it Fuck. I love mad men— and I love men when they're mad Especially Fallon That's somebody's dad in the bathtub, yeah mate Somebody back at the opera Probably phantoms There you go You've got you a girl So grab her hand And hold onto her Don't let her know If yo love or fuck someone else Just for the fun of it Don't break her head and her heart at the same time She might not come back from it Like I never did I never came back I was punched in the face maybe 5 Or like 6 times Before I got up, became Skrillex, went for a a run with the dogs And then did it again Never was god, though I got a lot of problems I love the waterfront But no one loves me I'm left in the lobby a lot Like Mikey, in that one song I guess I'm destiny Or perhaps I'm your density Once upon a time, I walked here Once a upon a time, I worked here, Shout out to number six. This one is sung for you This verse undoes the hex. Remind me to get your mom hallmark cart, someone uttered I fucking love her Remember to stop at the shopping carts before you long walk home Almost hoping you're soaked in the strange acid rai. So hard You forget what your name is I spent a whole plot of a film Just trying to be famous Luckily, I think The Tonight Show stops taping in the summer, So with any luck, The real Jimmy Fallon is somewhere in Greece or some shit Rich assholes and their summer vacations— I'm guessing, But still unwavering in the back of my mind somewhere That no matter what, Whenever I'm at 30 Rock, I'm being watched. The entire cast of 30 rock is watching the legends saga in 3D, along with some of the keynote cast of Saturday night live— Don't be selfish I'm not. I don't know what else I used to watched that's owned by this media conglomerate ahem. SLASH/Universal. Oh, so we are doing this back to the future revamp depends, are you gonna keep being fat, Or be spry, like Marty McFly And just for the fuck of it, You're the new Hanson in the new 21 Jumpstreet Movie SUNNI BLU Aight, SUPA Dammit. TINA FEY Do you smell donuts. LIZ LEMON no, it's cookies Follow the smell of the cookies. I get it. I got it. Try to remain unseen! LOOK AT ME. I'M AT THE BASE OF A GIANT PE— COCK. LUTZ When's the action?! Notes: Chocolate man makes everything chocolate Okay. That's stupid. Chocolate! Chocolate! Uhhh—- What are you doing here?!? I work here…what are you doing here? I have tenure. *purses lips* [tina tries to hide the entire cast Reunion of late 90s/early 2000's SNL cast members behind her (Nervously) tah—uh; I thought you were on vacation. I redacted it. What does that mean? I know what it means. Mm. What does that mean. I read the comics. I have something to tell you. Okay, what. It can't be over the phone. Okay. Where the firefighters is? I got some propolis cough syrup for the stalkers [The Festival Project™]# {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. I

In this episode of the 10Adventures Podcast, we welcome back 10Adventures' very own Nadine Gravis to chat summer travel trends for 2024! As nature awakens and the warm weather is beginning to creep in, 10Adventures guests are getting ready to pack their bags to set off on the summer adventures of their dreams.   From the classic European summer favorites, like Italy, France, Spain and Portugal, which are all setting the stage for some epic walking and cycling adventures this coming season, we also dive into some unforeseen travel trends, with guests eager to explore Croatia, Ireland and Scotland in the summer of 2024.   Of course we can't chat summer trips without a nod to the legendary Tour du Mont Blanc, and other iconic European hiking trails like Laugavegur Hut-to-Hut Trekking Tour that beckons guests to traverse the otherworldly landscapes of the Icelandic Highlands. But just exactly  why are European destinations so popular for 10Adventures summer travelers? We'll dive into that too!   Nervously glancing at the calendar and thinking the window for booking summer travel has passed you by? We've got you covered! Tune in to learn more on what trips are still possible to book this late in the game, and some helpful tips when planning last minute summer adventures.    We also tap into the e-bike trend which is exploding in popularity across the board in cycle tourism. From top trips for first timers, such as the Alpe Adria Cycling from Villach to Grado, to unique e-bike adventures combining both land and water, like the incredible Douro River E-Bike Cruise -- find out why e-bike tours are all the rage for summer of 2024.   To top it off, we'll take a look at some outside of the box trips that will excite and engage even the most seasoned traveller, like the Albania, Kosovo and North Macedonia Hiking Tour. And finally, we divulge why Canada is the epitome of adventure when it comes to summer travel…not that we are biased or anything!    About Us

In the middle of the night on January 25, 2014, 80-year-old Peggy Nadell was sound asleep in her second-story bedroom. But then suddenly her phone began to ring. Peggy woke up startled and looked at the clock – it was after 1 a.m. – and to be getting a call at this house could only mean one thing… bad news. Nervously, Peggy answered the phone and quietly said "hello?" But that phone call would prove to be far worse than anything Peggy could have imagined, and moments after getting that phone call, Peggy would be fighting for her life. For 100s more stories like these, check out our main YouTube channel just called "MrBallen" -- https://www.youtube.com/c/MrBallenIf you want to reach out to me, contact me on Instagram, Twitter or any other major social media platform, my username on all of them is @mrballenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Monday March 4, 2024 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Monday March 4, 2024 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The wait is nearly over for mortgage holders nervously wondering if they are in for another hike in interest rates. The Reserve Bank will today announce whether it will lift the official cash rate, or if it will stay the same. But as Krystal Gibbens reports, many are already feeling the pinch.

Father Jim Reconciles his two separate lifestyles. Did God ever ask him to remain celebate for life?By GrushaVashnadze. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.“Oh yeah, cunt!” he muttered under his breath.“Yeah, hot fucking cunt!” he continued, ogling the juicy specimen of beauty displaying herself to his lustful eyes. Her pussy was indeed beautiful, pink and delicate, with a finely-crafted blond landing-strip, held open by a pair of painted fingers, so that he could gaze into its hot, wet, steamy depths. He stroked his cock in anticipation, feeling his shaft stiffen and grow, and feeling that exquisite yearning sensation spread outwards, filling his body with testosterone-fuelled bliss.The owner of said cunt looked at him seductively, the tip of her tongue gently tracing the outline of her lips, her eyes cheekily inviting, one hand kneading her huge, perfect, surgically-enhanced breasts, as the other continued to hold her fuck-lips wide.“Oh, yeah, baby, I'm gonna fuck that cunt so hard,” he continued. “I'm gonna ram my fucking cock deep in your hot pussy, I'm gonna feel your juicy cunt around my cock, and then I'm gonna fucking come inside you, I'm gonna spurt all my fucking cum deep in your hot fuck-hole till you scream in pleasure. You want that, baby, you want that?”But there was no answer from the buxom blonde beauty. For she was but a centrefold in a magazine, lying open before him on his bed. One picture among many, actually, for his eiderdown was covered with a selection of his collected periodicals, open to his favourite pages, featuring a variety of nude beauties, all displaying themselves, he liked to think, purely for his pleasure.His cock throbbed as he stroked it, thumb and two fingers gently rubbing the glans while the palm of his hand wrapped itself around the shaft. He admired his carefully-ordered “cunt collage” as he liked to call it. The buxom blond (“Jenny”, according to the caption) occupied pride of place in the centre of his bed. Surrounding her were half a dozen other centrefolds: “Sabrina”; dark-haired, with huge natural flowing boobs, left hand holding her pussy open whilst one delicate finger of the right curled knuckle-deep into her arsehole; “Brea”; blonde and skinny, with pert breasts, irresistibly smouldering eyes, and a shaven pussy; “Elsa” bleached blond hair, sweet “next-door-girl” smile, hairy blonde cunt with' “oh fuck!” he muttered, as he felt his cock twitch and jerk in delight, gorgeous flappy cunt-lips which dangled, glistening with little beads of pussy-juice…He paused his cock-stroking, looking away and upwards at the ceiling, in order to calm himself down: he didn't want to come too soon. Not yet.Just in time, the phone rang. Nervously he scrabbled for the receiver.“Hi Jimmy!”It was the sultry voice he was expecting. “It's Beattie here, wiff yer fantasy call.”“ Beattie, how are you?”“Oh, Jimmy, I'm feeling so fuckin' horny this evening, I'm been so looking forward to our call.”“Talk to me, Beattie,” said Jimmy, as he resumed slowly massaging his dick.“Oh, you know me, Jimmy, I just can't get enough fuckin'. I'm sitting here on my bed, and I'm wearin' this skimpy negligee, and I've shaved my pussy just for you, and it's so fuckin' wet, Jimmy, I just can't wait for you to ram yer big cock in there. D'ye wanna do that, Jimmy?”Beattie's voice was warm and breathy, something she had practised and honed over the months she had been calling him. Jimmy knew that, these days, he could instead be watching a video online, or a camgirl, but he was a man of habit and tradition, and he loved the way things used to be when he was younger, when porn was always magazines, and audio invariably meant the telephone. And so he sat at the head of his bed, stroking his cock, listening to Beattie's breathy seductive personalised filth, whilst he continued to ogle his favourite magazine nudes.As Beattie spoke, his eyes continued to roam the pages spread open on the bed: “Codi”, a ridiculously slender blonde with big fake tits, pouting lips drooling slightly at the sight of her own shaven cunt, spread wide with two delicate hands; “Emma”, on all fours, so her pussy peeped cheekily out from between her buttocks, crowned by a tight puckered arsehole…Beattie was very good too: she knew, after some six months of weekly Friday evening calls to Jimmy, just how he liked it. Jimmy wasn't interested in toys, or blowjobs, or titfucks, or anal, or any other kinks. He liked cunt. He loved cunt. And he adored it when Beattie talked cunt: “Jimmy…” “my pussy's feelin' so hot tonight. Will ye put yer dick in there, Jimmy?”“It's all for you, Beattie,” muttered Jimmy, in a half-hearted attempt to play along with the fantasy. Actually, he wasn't much interested in the role-play aspect of things: it was, after all, pure fakery, but he liked hearing Beattie talk dirty, and so he said the minimum required to let her know that she was on the right track, and then revelled in the glorious obscenity of her wall-to-wall aural filth.“Oh yeah, that feels so fucking good!” “Your cock's so fuckin' hard, Jimmy. I can feel it deep in my cunt, fillin' me up. Go on, Jimmy, slide that huge fuckin' cock in and out of my wet cunt; can ye feel my pussy all hot and juicy for ye?“Jimmy listened, his eyes roving across the collage spread out on the bed before him, imagining what Beattie's cunt might be like. Deliberately, he had never asked her, preferring to make it a new cunt each week: last week's choice had been “Cecilia”, black, shaven, lips teased apart just enough to reveal her juicy pink haven inside; this week, it would be “Jenny”.Jimmy loved Beattie's voice, “chavvy South London”, he called it, oozing squalor; in his more lucid moments he imagined her as a single mum on the dole in some squalid high-rise council flat in Tooting, a ne'er-do-well scraping together a living using the only pathetic skill she had. But now she was his tart, his whore, his plaything, his fantasy: she could be anything and everything he imagined. He liked playing this game, as he continued to stroke his dick to ecstasy whilst revelling in Beattie's increasingly filthy ongoing monologue. Beattie, for her part, was the consummate professional, sensing from Jimmy's pants and grunts just how far he was on his journey to release. And when Jimmy muttered, “Say my favourite things, Beattie,” she knew just what he meant.“You know, Jimmy, I'm a dirdy, filfy, cuntfuckin' whore… That's what I am, Jimmy, just a cuntfuckin' whore.”Jimmy loved those words, and Beattie's grimy accent was the icing on the cake: his cock jerked and bucked in response, stiffening even further.“I'm a whore, Jimmy. And you like dirdy fuckin' whores, don't cha? You wanna fuck my filfy cunt wiv ‘at big cock?”Jimmy was in ecstasy. Soon Beattie had progressed to “My cunt's so fuckin' wet, Jimmy: that's what you do to me, babe. You're gonna make me fuckin' come, Jimmy, ‘coz I'm a dirdy, filfy, cuntfuckin' whore, and I'm gonna fuckin' come all over your big cock!”Jimmy took the cue, fixing his eyes on “Jenny's” pussy, still, of course, reliably wide open and glistening for him, drinking in its beauty, and gradually ramping up the rhythm of his stroking so as to time his own orgasm to match Beattie's ersatz one. And when Beattie got to;“I'm gonna fuckin' come, Jimmy, here it is baby, come all over ye dirdy filfy cuntfuckin' whore, oh yeah oh Fuck!” Jimmy did exactly that. He felt the tell-tale boiling sensation in his balls, felt his cum surge and rise through his shaft and explode from his bucking, twitching cockhead.“Jenny” was the chosen recipient of Jimmy's cum this evening, six or seven thick ropes of semen splattering over her picture. Jimmy aimed at her cunt, and watched as the likeness of her vulva disappeared under a gloopy coating of semen. Beattie was continuing to moan and squeal down the telephone line: “Oh yeah, Jimmy, are ye comin' for me? Does ‘at feel good, babe?”as the last few dribbles of sperm landed on “Jenny's” tits and face. Beattie's voice turned breathy and softer;“Was 'at nice, Jimmy?” "Do ye like comin' in my dirdy hot cunt, Jimmy?“Jimmy panted incoherently in reply, his imagination desperately clinging on as long as he could to the illusion of sexual fulfillment. But it was always too short-lived. Even before his cock was flaccid, the illusion was fading and Beattie was in business mode: "Same time next week still good for ye, babe? Take it off yer card, yeah?”Jimmy muttered a “Yeah, thanks, Beattie,” before hanging up and surveying the mess. It never looked as good afterwards as he hoped it would before. Sperm-soiled magazine “Jenny” looked, frankly, ridiculous and tawdry now, a far cry from the seductive perfection she had exuded when pristine on the page. And wrapping up and disposing of semen-soaked magazine pages was anything but sexy. But Jimmy did so with his customary goal-oriented efficiency, trying to, and largely succeeding in, staunching his creeping feeling of shame, until the job was done, his penis was wiped clean, and he had put on his clothes again.Then his collar.And then his cassock.And then Father James Wright knelt on the floor of his bedroom and wept bitterly.“Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Divine Power of God; cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits, who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of… oh fuck…”Father Jim's voice tailed off. He had performed his morning ablutions, had his breakfast, and said his Office, and was preparing himself by examination of conscience for his weekly two-birds-with-one-stone excursion to the Cathedral, first to confession, followed by his weekly exorcism training seminar. He usually dressed in civvies for these visits, not wanting to draw attention to himself on public transport, but he never missed his hebdomadal chance to unburden his soul, and timing it for Saturday mornings made sense. Apart from anything else, this way, he felt less guilty saying the Eucharist over the weekend than if he were to have his Friday evening sins hanging on his conscience.But this morning Father Jim's voice gave up mid-supplication, as the thought impinged upon his intercessions: Am I a hypocrite? Actually, this was a thought which frequently went through his mind. The answer, of course, was yes: regularly, deliberately, and with full foreknowledge, every Friday night, and he knew it. For hypocrite though he was, he was neither stupid nor deluded. He had learnt to corral his fleshly weakness into one weekly episode, and it would soon be, gratias Deo, effaced from his soul by the Sacrament of Reconciliation, after which he could continue to pursue his presbyterial vocation with confidence. Until next Friday.Today, though, he felt somewhat less confident than normal, less spiritually bullish, more vulnerable than usual. Perhaps it was the weather, dull and grey like many an English spring morning, but it was almost as if he felt that the hosts of Satan were genuinely massing on the horizon, and that he might truly need the intercession of an archangel to forestall the ruin of his soul. In short, Father Jim's carefully calibrated balancing act between spiritual propriety and sexual concupiscence was feeling unaccountably precarious this morning.He was just letting himself out of the presbytery when a young woman came dashing round the corner, her heels clicking unevenly on the pavement. “Father Jim! Father Jim! Oh, I'm so glad I caught you. Please would you hear my confession?” Behind the urgency of her request Jim descried a pleasingly upper middle-class voice (“so” came out a bit like “say”), but ever so slightly Estuary (“t” in “caught” barely noticeable), as was common with the younger generation.Father Jim thought, but did not say: Oh fuck. He tried not to think swear words between Saturday morning confession and the end of mass on Sunday evening. But he had not been to confession yet, and therefore made the split-second judgment that he may as well, for now, think obscenities. After all, he liked them; he liked the sound of them: “fuck”, beautiful, he thought. And this young lady was, he thought to himself, “fucking hot”. She was slender and small, almost a waif, and yet her pencil skirt was just a touch too tight, and her blouse ever so slightly translucent, so that the shape of her nipples, puffy and rounded but not huge, made two soft tents in the front of her top.Oops, he thought, as he felt his penis begin to stir inside his rather ill-fitting trousers. No, it would not do to be groping his cock out of the way in front of a parishioner, so he banished “fucking hot” from his brain with a quick piece of well-practiced spiritual legerdemain, and switched into concerned parish priest mode. He vaguely recognised the girl, from the back row of the 10:30, perhaps? but wasn't sure if they had ever exchanged words. He felt within his rights to say, “I'm actually on my way out now, er…” as he looked at her quizzically with that I've-forgotten-your-name look customarily used by parish priests.“Bernadette, call me Bernie,” said the woman, pronouncing the “r” softly but clearly.OK, thought Father Jim. Typical second-generation immigrant. Tries to keep up the religious traditions of the home country, but talks like a Sloane except when asserting her identity. Clearly done well for herself, been to uni. But, Jim groaned inwardly, she wasn't taking the hint.“Oh please, Father, I really need you to hear my confession, I… I…”Father Jim looked into her eyes for the first time, and there was that look of moral desperation he was used to seeing in some people. Some could live in their sins for long periods of time before emotional need drove them back to the Church; others, like this girl, presumably, were made of less stern stuff. Her eyes glistened with barely held-back tears, as she continued: “I think I may be under a curse, or a hex, and I… I know you are training to be an exorcist, aren't you?” Her lower lip trembled, as her damp eyes pleaded with him.In the silence of his heart, Father Jim thought to himself: Oh fuck. But he took no pleasure in this particular iteration of his favourite obscenity. He had met this kind of woman before: excessively impressionable, with an inclination to see spiritual warfare lurking under every pebble, when her only problem might a temporary imbalance of hormones. Exorcism? Bullshit. But Jim was, despite his cynicism, a kind man, and so he said, “All right, Bernie. Of course. Let's go in,” as he ushered her through his front door. “Face-to-face, or in the box?”“Oh, I prefer the old-fashioned way, if that's all right, Father?” she replied sheepishly.He gestured her down the corridor towards the church, and then up the long nave, pleasantly illumined by the shifting colours which filtered dully through the great east window. As she walked ahead of him, he watched her bottom jiggle gently from side to side, red heels clicking on the stone floor, her medium-length ponytail of light brown hair swishing behind her. Fuck, he thought, and this time revelled in the thought. Fuck yeah… he muttered silently, his mind's eye briefly, secretly, undressing her from behind.“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” said the girl, once they had both settled into their respective halves of the confessional.“How long has,”“Oh, over a year, Father. I've got a lot of catching up to do.”Fuck, thought Father Jim. But, because he was basically a kind-hearted man, he instead said: “Well, take your time. It is good that God has called you back to the Sacrament now.”“Thank you, Father.” “I… I'm married…” "But I've not been strictly… faithful…“ There was a long pause.Ho ho, I knew it, thought Jim. Another pretty young slut, got hitched too soon, screwing around behind her husband's back. Two a penny. Had one just last week, didn't I? But instead he said, "And how long have you been having this affair?”“Oh, it's not an affair, Father,” "It's kind of a weird binge, a bit… perverted, if you know what I mean. On the rebound, I guess, because I walked in on my husband, you know, with someone else…“Oh shit, thought Father Jim. This'll take all morning. Web of adultery, seen it all before. One fucks around, the other goes off the rails, and soon they're all crotch-deep in moral turpitude. Why do they even bother to get married if they've got no continence? Should try and be celibate, then they'll learn how lucky they are… All that passed through his mind in an instant, but of course he voiced none of it."You see,” “we were married a year ago, here, before you came: Father Peter married us, and, well, I thought it was going so well. We… we were really good in bed, you know… I mean, we really liked the sex and everything.”Too much information! thought Jim to himself. But he did not say that either.“You know, I was a virgin when we got married. I'd saved myself up for this. And the first time, it was wonderful. You know, for some girls it hurts? But for me it was bliss. He just slid in, and I loved it. And we loved it, just like that, in and out, you know?”Father Jim felt his cock begin to stir. It was the inevitable involuntary reaction to a sexual confession which was becoming just a touch too detailed. Fuck, girl, why are you telling me all this? he thought. But Bernie continued to jabber, exuding, though unseen, an air of wide-eyed innocence from behind her latticed screen.“But then Giles started wanting me to do things I didn't want to, you know, oral, and anal, and stuff, and I really wasn't comfortable with it, so we had a few arguments about that. "I mean, when he wanted me to give him a blowjob, you know, he'd just pull down his trousers and waggle the thing in front of my face…”Too much fucking information! Jim screeched in the silence of his own heart. But he couldn't stop himself imagining the husband's cock, stiff and huge, waggling back and forth in front of Bernie's pretty face, her narrow mouth opening wider, wider, her tongue extending to lick pre-cum off the frenulum before her lips softly enclosed the… Fuck, Jim, pull yourself together, man! he thought, as he felt his cock begin to make an uncomfortable tent in his trousers. He stammered out loud, “Er… sister, you don't need to tell me all that, you know, just stick to…”“Oh, but it's important, Father,” “Because that's what led to it. I told him I didn't like sucking him off, but he kept trying to persuade me, and I kept saying no…” Father Jim imagined he detected the faintest hint of a smirk in her tone, but of course it was impossible to tell…“And then,” "there was the anal. Sometimes when we were making love he'd wet his finger with… well, you know… and then he'd reach round and try to stick it in there. I really didn't like it, and of course he never forced me; I mean, he's a kind man, he'd never do anything nasty, but it was clear he was disappointed…“Oh Jesus motherfucking Christ, thought Father Jim. His cock was stiff now, and he could feel his own pre-cum beginning to leak slowly from his glans. He reached down to adjust his cock inside his trousers, and inevitably his hand lingered just a bit too long, grasping his own erect shaft through the fabric and squeezing it gently. That familiar thrill of pleasure surged through him, but he made himself let go, telling himself: Later, Jim, later. Just get this girl through her confession for now…"But the strangest thing of all, Father,” "was when he'd want me to talk dirty to him, you know?“Are you kidding? thought Jim incredulously. Do you think that just because I'm a priest I don't have male blood boiling in my veins? What are you on about, girl?!Bernie seemed oblivious to her confessor's discomfort. Either that, or she was deliberately winding him up, he couldn't tell for sure. "See, Father,” "he'd ask me to say dirty words, like… 'tits'… and 'pussy'… and…“ , her voice lingered a while on the first consonant, "fuck”In an instant, Father Jim's resistance crumbled. That word was his favourite, a glorious fillip to all that was unholy and self-indulgent in the deepest recesses of his mind, and it banished all his residual will-power to the four winds. He quietly but swiftly unzipped his fly, removed his stiff sweaty cock from its prison, pulled back the damp pre-cum-lubricated foreskin, and began to slowly wank his shaft up and down, his lips trembling, his breath coming in ragged bursts. This was wrong. This was so wrong , he knew it, of course. But he was going to do it anyway. This girl could not possibly be for real. This was no sacrament, this was an ambush. The Evil One was tempting him, and he was succumbing. And he fucking loved it…“See, Father Jim, it must be something about men, they all like those dirty words so much. My husband did: he wanted me to say things like” Bernie lowered her voice conspiratorially;“'Ram your fucking cock in my pussy, baby!' and 'Fuck my hot cunt with that big dick!' Things like that… Do you like hearing things like that, Father?” Bernie's voice was hot and breathy now. Her prey was in her grasp, and she was playing with him: Jim knew it, but, though he had no idea why this woman had chosen to ambush him in this manner, he knew it was too late. He groaned, as he felt his cock stiffen further in his sweaty palm, felt his heart pound faster with excitement.“I'm sure we could have worked things out, Father. You know, I got quite used to the dirty talk, that was quite fun actually. But the oral, and the anal; no way. He'd show me videos on the internet, you know; porn? Girls getting fucked in the arse, and taking cocks down their throats; and it just looked so horrible and painful and disgusting. And then he'd show me videos of group sex, and asked if I'd ever like to do stuff like that; and I said no! And then, to show him I really loved him, I'd let him fuck me. I mean, I really loved it when he fucked me: when his cock was all huge and stiff, and then he'd lie me on my back and fuck me all deep and squelchy. Sometimes he'd lie flat on me and grind the base of his cock against my clit to make me come. Sometimes he'd shift down, so his cockhead found my G-spot. Sometimes he'd flip me over and do me doggy. Sometimes I'd go on top and drive him wild, teasing him with my wet pussy lips before plunging down onto this cock. And I loved all that, Father, I did, truly. Cock in cunt that's the way it's meant to be, isn't it? I mean, that's the way God made us, isn't it?”Father Jim groaned at the absurdity of his situation. Here was a young girl giving him lessons in Saint John Paul's Theology of the Body, while he stroked his cock in the confessional, what the fuck was going on?! But he couldn't stop now. His cock was raging, his balls were aching, and his thoughts were in mindfuck mode. Here was a girl after his own heart, one who loved being fucked in the cunt, and who loved to talk filthy. “Oh yeah, oh fuck, oh God…” he muttered incoherently in his ecstasy.“You Okay in there, Father Jim?” "I'm sorry for being so explicit, but ; I kind of have to, you'll see why soon, I'll explain…“You don't have to explain, thought Father Jim' as far as he was capable of thinking anything at all, for he was past thinking now. His mind was now fixed firmly on cunt, on fucking cunt, just like this girl was saying: cock slip-sliding in and out, grinding against engorged clit-flesh. It didn't matter whose cunt: his years of fake fantasy sex, week after week of dirty pictures; "Jenny” or “Codi” or “Elsa” or whoever the fuck they were; or of listening to “ Beattie” recycling her mind-banked fuck-fantasies for his delectation; all this had inured him to the sheer fakery of being a sex-obsessed celibate. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered now, except the filth-filled moment.“But then,” “one day, about six months ago, I came home early from work, and… and I heard voices from the bedroom upstairs. I was about to walk in, but then, through the door, I heard things like, 'Oh yeah, suck that cock, baby. I'm gonna fuck your pretty slut-face with my big dick…' ; you know, things like that?” Jim heard a nervous giggle from behind the lattice. “And there was the sound of squealing and gagging, like some girl was getting their throat fucked… So then I thought maybe he was watching porn…? But this was too real; and when I realised what must be going on… Oh God, Father, it hurt so much…”For the first time, Father Jim paused stroking his cock. The girl was sobbing softly now. Father Jim felt sorry; and guilty. “I'm so sorry,” he said quietly, as his cock began to soften, and he began to recognise the reality of his own situation. And so his “I'm so sorry” became, retrospectively, not just an expression of sympathy for Bernie, but also an admission of his own culpability. What was he doing sitting in the half-light, pre-cum smeared over his hand, jerking off while listening to a vulnerable, disturbed young woman telling him about the moment she found her husband cheating on her? Shame on you, Jim, he told himself silently.But Bernie had not finished.“And so I opened the door,” “and there they were: Giles standing there shirtless, his big cock stuck out through his fly, ropes of spit dangling from the shaft and dribbling all over the face and tits of my best friend Vicky; you know Vicky: Victoria Berry, she runs the First Holy Communion programme here…? Anyway, she was saying, 'Oh yeah, babe, I fucking love it when you choke me with that big cock, go on, ram that cock down my throat again…'"And then she saw me, before he did. At first she paused in shock. Then she screamed. And then she retreated to the corner of the bedroom, desperately trying to cover up her big tits and wipe the spit off her face. 'Oh God, Bernie, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!' But she wasn't sorry; and I knew it."Giles didn't even pretend. He just stood there, spit dribbling from his cock, smirking. He even said, 'Wanna join us, Dette? Come here and I'll fuck your cunt just the way you like it, while Vicky licks my balls…'"And I… well, I had no idea what to say. So I just screamed at him, '"Just the way I like it” ; sorry?! You're nothing but a fucking pervert, with all your porn, and your anal and your throatfucking. And now this?! How dare you treat me this way; your wife?! What's wrong with you?!!' And then… I didn't know what to do: I wanted so much to hurt him, to make him suffer, standing there all smug with his dick dribbling all over our carpet. But more than that, I wanted to protect myself, to purify myself of the horror and degradation of it all. I wanted to show him I was better than all his filth, to save myself from where he was wanting to take me. So I shouted, 'You'll never fuck me again, you bastard! No man will ever fuck me again. I swear, as God is my witness'; and I know I shouldn't have sworn, Father: I shouldn't have said anything like that, but, God forgive me, I did; 'I swear that no man will ever fuck this cunt again -or may God strike me dead!' And then I ran out. And I never went back.“So now what do I do, Father? I mean, I've called a curse down on myself. May God strike me dead if I break my vow! that's what I said! And, you know, I've stuck with it, Father. I've kept my vow. Ever since then, I've not been fucked. And that was six months ago; probably just before you came to this parish, wasn't it?”Bernie paused. And Father Jim sat in the half-light, bewildered, confused, and scared. This woman must be unstable, he thought. Stark raving mad, actually. Why else would she come to the confessional to tell him, in the filthiest language imaginable; what exactly? that she had caught her husband in flagrante delicto and had now, on the rebound, forsworn sex?“Bernie… Bernie…” Jim fumbled for the right words. “What can I do for you? You have committed no mortal sin. You don't need exorcism – or even confession. But do you want help? Counselling? We have a wonderful ministry here for separated and divorced Catholics: let me put you in touch with the leader, she could help you…”“No, Father,” interrupted Bernie firmly, “you don't understand. I swore that I if am ever fucked again, God must strike me dead. I am under a curse, Father and I need to be released. And you are an exorcist, are you not?”Father Jim sat in the semi-darkness, his flaccid cock dangling out of his fly, a little droplet of pre-cum still glimmering on his glans, and he took a deep breath. “I have been receiving training, yes; but you don't need exorcism. Your words were spoken in haste, in an understandable excess of emotion: God will not hold that against you. You need to rebuild your life, not live in fear of an imagined curse that…”“Father,” Bernie interrupted again, even more firmly that before, “Pray over me now: release me from my curse. The Evil One has my cunt in his grasp. After all…”Beattie paused, then spoke very slowly and clearly;“I am a dirty, filthy, cuntfucking whore.”Father Jim's heart skipped a beat. “What did you say?” he gasped.“I said, 'I am dirty, filthy, cuntfucking whore.' Or, would you prefer it like this:'I'm a dirdy, filfy, cuntfucking whore, Jimmy!Father Jim leapt up; terrified. Now he knew he was in trouble. Who was this girl? Who was she pretending to be? Who was pretending to be whom? And what was she after? And why was she playing with him like this? What it a trap? All these thoughts raced through his mind, but he did not have time to voice any of them before Bernie's voice (or was it Beattie's?), cold as steel despite the muffling effect of the latticed confessional screen, said: "Don't put yer cock away, Jimmy. Leave it danglin' like the good li'l wanker you are, and join me in front of the Sacrament.” He heard the door on Bernie's side of the confessional open, and her heels click-clicking across the stone floor in the direction of the altar.Obediently, though trembling in terror, Father Jim opened his door; and gasped. For Bernie's tiny waif-like figure was naked now, apart from her red high heels, her tight bottom wiggling and swaying as she walked ahead of him, the wispy outline of her pubic hair just visible between her soft buttocks. “Do 'ye like it, Jimmy?” smirked Bernie, as she looked back over her shoulder to watch his cock, still dangling awkwardly out of his fly, begin to stiffen again. “This is whatcha wanted ta see when you followed me in here, wasn't it? Because ye like cunt, don't ye, Jimmy? Nuffink better than the sight of a hot cunt peeping out from between Beattie's arse-cheeks, eh? Ye wanna fuck my cunt, Jimmy? 'Coz you can…”She reached the sanctuary steps, and turned to point one accusing finger at Jim as she bellowed;“After you fucking excercise it!”Beattie's demented scream echoed off the stone walls of the church, as she backed up the three steps to the sanctuary and lifted her bottom onto the altar, carelessly scattering crucifix, sacramentary and candle-stands onto the floor. She spread her legs wide and leant back on her elbows, pert puffy tits and lightly thatched pussy-gape shamelessly displayed. Father Jim stood, horrified and transfixed in equal measure. The detritus of Beattie's blasphemy lay scattered on the floor; but he couldn't keep his eyes off her. Oh yeah, cunt! he thought, despite himself. Yeah, hot fucking cunt!Beattie knew what he was thinking.“Do 'ye like it, Jimmy?” she breathed. “If ye wanna fuck it, get yer prayer book, and fuckin' remove my curse!” Beattie began to slide one finger into her pussy, wetting it with her fuck-slime and gently rubbing her clit. Father Jim hesitated, rooted to the spot in terror, until Beattie screamed again,“Get yer fucking prayer book and pray my curse away, Jimmy!”Father Jim scrabbled through a pile of books on the front pew, retrieved a copy of Prayers Against the Powers of Darkness, and raised his right palm towards Beattie, who was now panting in ecstasy as she rubbed her clit with one hand, two fingers of the other plunging in and out of her sodden pussy.“Lo… Lord Jesus Christ,” stammered the priest, “I place my sister at the foot of Your cross and ask You to cover her with Your Precious Blood which pours forth from Your Most Sacred Heart and Your Most Holy Wounds. Cleanse her, my Jesus, in the living water that flows from Your Heart. I ask You to surround her, Lord Jesus, with Your Holy Light.”“Oh yeah, amen!”screamed Beattie , as a spasm went through her body; whether of spiritual battle or sexual pleasure Father did not know, but no longer cared. His words were those of prayer; but his mind was fixed on cunt.Cunt… oh yeah, cunt! he moaned in the silence of his heart, even as he continued to stammer: “In… in… in the… Holy Name of Jesus, I break and dissolve any and all curses, spiritual influences, evil wishes, evil desires, and every dysfunction and disease from any source including your mistakes and sins. In Jesus' Name, I sever the transmission of any and all vows, pacts, spiritual bonds and satanic works.”“Fuck yeah!”screamed the girl, as another spasm passed through her body. Three slimy fingers were now pounding in and out of her cunt, as the other hand rubbed frantically at her clit.Father Jim's cock was stiff and throbbing again; but with one hand holding his prayer book and the other extended towards Bernie, he could not touch it, but continued to read with a trembling voice: “In the Name of Jesus, I lift this curse. I thank You, Jesus, for setting my sister free. Fill her with charity, compassion, faith, gentleness, hope, humility, modesty, tranquillity, truth, understanding, and wisdom. Help her to walk in Your Light and Truth, illuminated by the Holy Spirit so that she may praise, honour, and glorify Our Father in time and in eternity.”“Fuck yeah, Jesus!”;screamed Bernie, as her whole body shook from head to toe, four fingers now forming a blur as they pounded in and out of her cunt.“Free me, Jesus! Free my fucking cunt! Oh fuck! “Father Jim's cock was sticking horizontally out of his fly, throbbing with wild desperation. Pre-cum dribbled down his shaft; but still he did not touch, as he continued to stretch out his right hand in prayer: "For You, Lord Jesus, are the Way, and the Truth, and the Life, and You have come that we might have life, and have it to the full.”Bernie's whole fist was now pounding in and out of her cunt, her fuck-lips stretched wide in agony and ecstasy as she screamed, “Depart from me, Satan! Oh, I'm cumming! Oh yeah!” Juice squirted from her cunt, across the floor and down the stone altar steps, splattering Father Jim's shoes and trouser-legs.“Surely God is my salvation,” intoned the priest, lips and hands trembling but his cock throbbing nevertheless. “I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he is my salvation.”“Amen… Amen…”whispered Bernie as she slowly withdrew her slimy hand from her cunt, her fuck-lips stretching wide, leaving her pussy gaping, her pink flesh glistening in front of Father Jim's face. The priest lowered his right hand, then stood, staring, bewildered, drained; but his cock still stiff and dribbling.Bernie, had a wild deranged smile spreading across her face.“I'm free, Father,” "Jesus has set me free from my curse!“Jim stared in horror. Bernie's face was luminescent, demented. But her cunt shone with a different kind of gleam; and Jim could not tear his eyes away from it."I can fuck again, Father,” "My cunt is free again: look!“She spread her pussy-lips wide, so that Jim could stare into her pink gloopy bubbling depths. And then she said the inevitable: "Now fuck me, Jimmy…”Father Jim gripped his cock with his right hand, even as his left held his prayer book tight. He was scared; terrified of what he had just done, and of what this deranged troubled girl was now telling him to do. He knew this was all wrong. But the scent of frigged-out cunt, the sight of that glistening pink fuck-flesh, and the sound of her sultry voice breathing at him, were too much to withstand. “Fuck me, Jimmy,” “Fuck my hot cunt. 'Coz I'm a dirdy, filfy, cuntfuckin' whore. And you like dirdy fuckin' whores, don'tcha? You wanna fuck my filfy cunt wiv yer big cock?”Father Jim nodded, mutely, his right hand gripping his shaft. His prayer book slipped subconsciously from his left hand, landing in a little puddle of pussy-squirt on the stone floor.“Come on Jimmy,” breathed Beattie. “Don't be scared. My cunt's all safe now. No curse no more. And I've been waitin' for this for so long, Jimmy. Every fuckin' Friday night I've had my fingers up my cunt, rubbing myself off for ye, listening to ye spurt your hot cum all over yer wank-mags. Now it's time for you to fuck my cunt for real, Jimmy!”“Wh… who are you?” stammered Father Jim. “Why me?”Beattie spread her cunt-lips again. “Later, Jimmy, later,” "Now fuck me.“Trembling, Father Jim walked up the three stone steps to the edge of the altar, where Beattie sat, her legs spread wide, still adorned by her red high heels, her cunt pungent, oozing, inviting. He nudged his bulging cockhead against her cunt-lips, and pushed."Oh God!” He could not resist calling out; for here, now, for the first time ever, was something he had fantasised about all his life. He felt Beattie's soft moist velvety depths yield and engulf him, felt her juices gently coat the length of his shaft, felt her inner cunt muscles squeezing, caressing. And then he started to fuck; slowly at first, relishing the heavenly-hellish feeling of her slip-slimy walls stroking the full length of his shaft as it slid all the way out, then in, and then again, and again, each new thrust taking his cock to a new level of pleasure, and his mind closer and closer to ecstasy.“Is 'at good for ye, Jimmy?” “You lifted my curse, Jimmy. I knew you could, Mister Father James Wright! From the first time I saw yer card details I knew you were the one to save me. Giles and Vicky can go fuck themselves: 'coz I got a priest to set my cunt free!”Jimmy knew deep down that this girl was mad, that he had been trapped, and that this meant the end of everything he had ever truly valued: his vocation, his career, his friendships, his reputation. But… cunt. Cunt. This was not like jerking off over his magazines on Friday night. This cunt was real; and truly, he saw that it was good. Beattie was now talking to him the way he could never resist:“Feel how fuckin' wet my cunt is, Jimmy? That's what you do to me, babe. You're gonna make me come, Jimmy, 'coz I'm a dirdy, filfy, cuntfuckin' whore, and I'm gonna fuckin' come all over your big cock!”By GrushaVashnadze for Literotica.

The Canucks are unbeaten in the Nikita Zadarov era and we are flying high baby!  On this one we get into the recent games against Vegas and Calgary, what moves we'd like to see next from the Canucks, and some fancy stat crap.   If you'd like to support the show and listen to the full episode please head over to patreon.com/IHateThisTeam !

US equities ended an eight-day winning streak on the back of a weak US Treasury bond sale and a more hawkish than expected speech by Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell. A cyber-attack forced the US unit of a Chinese bank to send the settlement of Treasuries in physical form to the counterparty. Siemens Energy is still negotiating for critical support as it faces a huge loss. Crypto assets rally on hopes of the approval of a spot bitcoin ETF in the US. Tim Gagie, Head of FX & PM Solutions Geneva, notes that FX markets are at the crossroads of many conflicting currents, but that USD weakness is still on the cards.00:00 Introduction by Helen Freer (Investment Writing)00:21 Markets wrap-up by Mike Rauber (Investment Writing)06:13 Currencies and metals by Tim Gagie (Head of FX & PM Solutions Geneva)10:35 Closing remarks by Helen Freer (Investment Writing)Would you like to support this show? Please leave us a review and star rating on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast player.

“Ok, I'll do it.” Have you ever said those words and regretted them later? I have. I was in fourth grade when my teacher, Mrs. Lyles, told me she had an idea for a school program. She explained that one of my classmates would sing a sad country song, and I would walk out on stage and pretend to cry. “It will be funny! Will you do it?” Although I felt like it was an awfulidea, I said, “Okay, I'll do it.”I slowly rode my bike home while thinking, ‘No one is going to laugh. This will never work.' But I had agreed to do it. The dreaded day finally arrived. Nervously standing back stage, I heard the girl start singing a Hank Williams song. Mrs. Lyles said, “You're on!” I walked onto the stage and started pacing, crying and looking forlorn. To my surprise, the audience burst into laughter. I recall leaving the stage for a moment and, as the soloist sang “When tears come down like falling rain,” I emerged from underneath the curtain, crawling on my hands and knees, moaning louder than before. The audience laughed even harder. It worked!The best part of the day wasn't the sound of the laughter or the hug from Mrs. Lyles, but a teacher I didn't know stopped me and said, “That was so funny. I laughed so hard.” Then, in a very serious tone, she said, “I really needed this today.” In that moment, I was given a glimpse into the ministry of laughter. When we step out of our comfort zones, we learn a lot. Maybe it's time for you to say, “Ok,I'll do it.”

Episode Summary This time on This Month in the Apocalypse, Brooke, Inmn, and Margaret talk about food insecurity, genocide in Armenia, a storm in Libya, battles for abortion care access, the government shut down, the state of water, and how everything can tie back to Lord of the Rings. Host Info Brooke can be found on Twitter or Mastodon @ogemakweBrooke. Inmn can be found on Instagram @shadowtail.artificery. Margaret can be found on twitter @magpiekilljoy or instagram at @margaretkilljoy. Publisher Info This show is published by Strangers in A Tangled Wilderness. We can be found at www.tangledwilderness.org, or on Twitter @TangledWild and Instagram @Tangled_Wilderness. You can support the show on Patreon at www.patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. Transcript This Month in the Apocalypse: September, 2023 **Inmn ** 00:15 Hello and welcome to Live Like the World is Dying [Brooke cheers] and this is our extra fun This Month in the Apocalypse section in which we talk about, unfortunately, most of the horrible things that happened in the last month. I'm one of your hosts today, Inmn, and I have with me some other folks.  **Margaret ** 00:36 Hi. **Brooke ** 00:36 The indomitable you. **Margaret ** 00:40 Brooke is Brooke. I'm...I'm Out-mn [like Inmn, but out] Margaret, **Brooke ** 00:45 I'll be Margaret, you be Out-mn. **Margaret ** 00:49 The inverse of Inmn. [Brooke laughing] Or, I'll be Margaret. And then Inmn can be Brooke. **Inmn ** 01:02 I don't know nearly enough about math to be Brooke, but I will try. **Margaret ** 01:07 Okay, we'll just switch each other's scripts and so that we each read what the other has researched. And y'all can go  with my shitty notes. **Inmn ** 01:17 Yeah, right. You know, that sounds great. But before we get to all of that, we are a proud member of the Channel Zero Network of anarchists podcasts and here is a jingle from another show on that network. Bah doo boop doo [Singing the words like a simple melody] **Inmn ** 02:21 And we're back. And, to start off the show, we have harped a lot on how horrible of a place Phoenix, Arizona is a lot this year.  **Brooke ** 02:38 Oh, I've definitely talked shit too, so...it's at least an "us" and not necessarily a "we."  **Margaret ** 02:42 I really appreciate you making this a "we" instead of me just talking shit on it. **Inmn ** 02:48 Yeah, no, I mean, it's the place, famously, where propane tanks explode because it's too hot and people fall on the ground and get burned. And, where they're trying to build some giant super future city that Bill Gates wants to trap us all in...or something. But a listener got a hold of me and told me about the history of the name, Phoenix, because it got brought up on the show. And, what he had to tell me about it was that Phoenix is named so because it was built from the ashes of a Hohokam civilization that was literally burned to the ground by white settlers. [Brooke boos] And they wanted to inspiringly build a city in its ashes. [laughing in a horrified way] So yeah, the surprising but not too surprising history of Phoenix.  **Margaret ** 03:58 It's more like the spell Animate Dead where you bring someone back to life but as a mindless zombie who serves you instead of their original purpose.  **Inmn ** 04:04 Yeah, totally. Yeah.  **Margaret ** 04:08 Brooke, what were you gonna say? Sorry.  **Brooke ** 04:09 Oh, just that I think that, as an indigenous person, we should go ahead and re-Phoenix, Phoenix. [Everyone laughs] It's time.  **Margaret ** 04:18 This is just a terrible transitional state that I was in before... **Brooke ** 04:21 I mean if it rises from the ashes, let's burn that motherfucker down and give it back to its proper people. **Inmn ** 04:29 It might do that on its own. The way the city is running it, it might...that might happen regardless of intention. **Brooke ** 04:38 Excellent. I'm glad to help, though. I will help the city towards that goal. **Inmn ** 04:44 Yeah. But, in a hopeful note for Arizona, I did find out that other cities in Arizona, not Phoenix, do weirdly have a pretty robust aquifer system. Like the city of Tucson, for example, only relies on the Colorado River for like 5% of its water, and otherwise, it's all aquifer driven and there's a lot of cool programs in place for--this is me defending that Arizona is a fine place to live. **Margaret ** 05:18 I know. And I'm going to talk about groundwater later [Laughing] and how aquifers are all drying up all over the country. **Brooke ** 05:24 Thank God, because I was going to insert some shit about there right now. So, I'll leave that for you, Margaret. **Inmn ** 05:28 Great. Well, to start us off today aside from Arizona... **Brooke ** 05:36 Phoenix getting burned down. **Inmn ** 05:36 ...Aside from Phoenix getting burned down. There are some bad things happening in the world. I know this is a shock to all of our listeners who came here for a list of joyful things about the apocalypse, right? But, so there's a new wave of activity in the Armenian Genocide from Azerbaijan. And, what's been happening is that on September 19th, Azerbaijan   launched a full assault on Nagorno-Karabakh targeting mostly civilian infrastructure. There have been--you know, this was as of September 19th--200 casualties so far. But, there are 120,000 people who are completely cut off from any kind of external supplies or aid. Nagorno-Karabakh, it's been contested for a really long time. It's been the subject of a lot of past conflicts. And, both sides have--there's been a, you know, an unsteady..."peace" isn't the right word, but, you know, non-attacking-each-other time. And both sides are kind of accusing each other of a military buildup. And while there's a lot of physical evidence that shows Azerbaijan amassing troops and building military infrastructure, the same cannot be said of Armenia, who has--there's a local defense army in that area. Because, the area is sort of technically part of Azerbaijan, but is controlled by an ethnically Armenian population. And, so, part of this big military buildup is that there was this blockade put on, essentially, the only route in and out of this area, was just put on full military blockade. And there was a big humanitarian response to it because they're like, "You're cutting off 120,000 people from all external like food, and medical, and, you know, any kind of supplies, and, in some instances, water. And, there was this big mass starvation happening in this area. And, humanitarian aid convoys that were trying to go into the area were literally being shelled by Azerbaijan. Which eventually culminated in this full assault on September 19th. And, as it stands right now, there's...literally 120,000 people have gotten into their cars and are attempting to leave the area since the... **Brooke ** 05:37 That's a lot of people  **Inmn ** 05:38 Yeah, yeah.  **Margaret ** 05:41 There was a ceasefire or something, right?  **Inmn ** 05:44 There was a ceasefire, which called for the unconditional surrender of the defense army. So, it's now a completely civilian population. And, there has been a call for the reintegration of the Armenian population, which locally is being viewed as a death sentence to pretty much everyone. Because, in the past, reintegration attempts by Azerbaijan have resulted in things like mass torture and rape of civilians and POWs.  **Brooke ** 09:22 Wow.  **Inmn ** 09:23 Yeah. And, to complicate things even more, there's like a...You know, it's in the world view right now. And people are like...Like, other countries are like, "Oh, should we do something?" And weirdly, Russia has been the peacekeeping mediator between the two. **Brooke ** 09:43 What?  **Margaret ** 09:44 So, it's not good. They're not doing good things.  **Inmn ** 09:47 No, they're not doing good things. And, a lot of people suspect them of playing this double game because Russia has publicly supported Armenia in a lot of the disputes, but they are the main arms supplier to Azerbaijan. So, there's obviously a lot of strange conflict. They're essentially...the world at large is viewing them as playing one side against the other. So... **Margaret ** 10:19 So, I don't know as much about this part. I've only been learning about some of this stuff recently. But, Russia, in general, has its own kind of equivalent of NATO, like its power-block type thing. But, Armenia is basically being slowly, kind of, shunted out of it or given less and less say in it, is the impression that I'm under. And, so there's a lot of tension of how Armenia is a little bit more looking to the west or whatever in a way that Russia isn't stoked about. That's the--I'm not 100% certain about this--that's the understanding I've been kind of learning. **Inmn ** 10:58 Yeah, yeah. And so, kind of, one of the big pressing issues right now is what is going to happen to this mostly ethnically Armenian population that is...Like there's a 70 mile line of cars trying to flee the area. And like, yeah, yeah, obviously... **Brooke ** 11:22 Where are they headed towards? **Margaret ** 11:25 Armenia. **Inmn ** 11:26 Yeah. **Margaret ** 11:27 They're in the border region.  **Brooke ** 11:29 Going into Armenia? Not going out of Armenia?  **Margaret ** 11:31 Yeah. No, into. Because, what it is, is there is a border area and that border area, most of it is now controlled by Azerbaijan and was taken, I believe, during the conflict a couple of years ago. However, several of the cities, or several of the population centers, are primarily Armenian even though they're now technically part of Azerbaijan because of this conflict, right? And so they need to get the fuck out because they're going to be genocided. And, they're very aware of the fact that they are going to be genocided. And a lot of the rhetoric that is coming up is genocidal. And, Armenians are being like fairly blunt that, like, "If the world doesn't do something right now, we're going to die." Like, hundreds of thousands of people are going to fucking die. **Inmn ** 12:22 Yeah.  **Brooke ** 12:23 Wow.  **Inmn ** 12:24 Yeah, it's...it's really bad. Yeah, but yeah, that's all I have on that. Brooke, I have heard that there's also some pretty bad things happening in India and Libya? **Brooke ** 12:41 Yeah, well, I can tell you about India, anyway. Well, we talk a lot about, of course, climate events going on. And there's been a lot of stuff that we've talked about this summer with various climate catastrophes, wildness, unusual behavior. And I think it's pretty well known that we're in an El Nino situation right now. One of the countries that has been affected by climate catastrophe this year is India, especially in the northern regions where they do a lot of growing of food. And they have had really unpredictable rainfalls. In some places there's been severe flooding, and other places, there's been less rain than usual, which overall is leading to a lot of problems with a lot of crops. So, some of the food staples in India have seen significant increases in prices. Tomatoes and onions are things popularly used in Indian cooking, and they've seen a five to six times increase in the price for them. [Margaret goes "phew!"] Yeah, yeah, massive increases. And then, and this is then also related to war in Ukraine and wheat and grain prices. The chicken feed has gone up significantly, and chicken is a pretty common meat in a lot of dishes. But, then the chicken has become too expensive--to buy chicken. And to have chickens and feed them and butcher your own chickens has also become too expensive. So, that big source of protein is kind of off the menu in a lot of places too. So, some families are eating, you know, just mashed up vegetables is their whole meal for the day. Other places, they're making just--it's not naan but it's breads that are...roti. Roti breads. They just make some roti bread in the morning and that's all the family has to eat for the day is just bread. A lot of lower income families get a wheat subsidy from the government. They get so many pounds of wheat every month. But, it's not enough to last through the whole month. And of course they're not able to get enough wheat from other sources to even keep up with the levels of demand that people have in the country. So, inflation is making it much harder to buy goods. And, it's due to the climate catastrophe. And in fact, India has gone so far as to ban some exports like rice and sugar. Yeah, they've banned exports on those, which, of course, all of the places that might turn to rice as a grain source when wheat runs out then can't get the rice that they would usually get. Not that they're interchangeable, but, you know? And, in fact, India is looking at importing some things that it historically never has to import, like tomatoes from Nepal. They're looking at having to import those. So, yeah, you know, it's already a very impoverished country. So, India is one of the most densely populated countries in the world, having some trouble with the food staples there. And, not gonna get, you know, better anytime soon because, of course, they're crops that you harvest and that you store. So, rice, you know, being a big one, they're pulling in a smaller rice harvest. There's not enough to go around right now. And then everything that they would usually put in a long term storage, they don't have enough for that. So, there's going to be even more food insecurity down the road, unless they're able to find ways to import some of that and do it in a way that they can afford to do. **Brooke ** 16:58 One more component of that whole foods situation--it's not like the food supply-but speaking of Ukraine, is that India imports fuel from Ukraine. And I can't remember the kind. But, they haven't been able to get as much fuel as they usually would, and so people that use that for cooking, don't have don't have the ability to do as much cooking because they can't afford it or they can't get the fuel that they need in order to cook. **Margaret ** 17:37 It's funny because one of the things I'm sort of hoping we can start doing with a lot of things--obviously, we can do it with all things--is to sort of talk about how to mitigate these problems or how to help with these problems, you know? And there's like two different parts of it. And one is like, you know--and I don't have the research and I'm just like thinking about a way to try and do this--but it's, you know, we don't have a way to necessarily impact food prices in India and so then it's like, "Oh, well, there's the things that we can do here." And then it's like, well, overall, not entirely, but, overall, the average person in America is a lot more privileged. But then it's like...just things like how tomatoes and other crops are also being threatened a lot in the United States right now, and we're probably going to see food prices on a lot of these staple crops, like vegetables and things, go up--not to the same degree, not five or 6...you know, 500%, or whatever, in one year. And it's interesting because there's some of these things that are easier to grow at home, as compared to staple crops. Like, large copper hydrates, corn, wheat, rice, can be grown at home, but very...it's way more complicated. And, you're also very unlikely to have a climate where you can grow all three of those things instead of just one of those things. **Brooke ** 18:54 Yeah, in my heart, I'm like, "Oh, yeah, the solution to this is, you know, everybody should plant a garden." But, that's such a privileged thing to say, to assume that they have space, resources, good soil, you know, with a thousand things that actually tries to do that. **Margaret ** 19:12 Yeah. Yeah. Well... **Brooke ** 19:15 But, if you can garden, you should learn how to do something, plant something. **Margaret ** 19:22 No, I mean, even as a as a prepper, sometimes when something goes wrong for one of my friends, I'm like, "Oh, I'm gonna get the thing that helps me if that goes wrong for me." I mean, I try and help them out first, right? But, you know, driving with someone and the muffler or the whole tailpipe detaches from their car, and they're like, "Oh, I need this metal strapping instead of, you know, I had like P-cord or something, right?" And now I have metal strapping in my car because why not? It's tiny and cheap and light, right? And that's not...this doesn't apply on a global level. I'm sorry everyone who's listening who's like, "Shut the fuck up." You're right. Okay, so we decided what we're gonna do is we're gonna do like foreign--foreign... [questions the phrasing] Whatever, international shit before we do shit that's like a little bit more...the shit that we already...the shit that's closer to home. So, the other big thing that I have from this year...from this month--Jesus Christ, it's been...this year...it's just not even.... [Pauses to rest] In Libya, the...Okay, there was a storm called Storm Daniel. And, it was the deadliest storm in the Mediterranean in recorded history. And, it happened on September 11th. Way higher count of dead people than anything--well, then the famous thing that happened on September 11th in United States. I don't know as much about the coup that happened on September 11th years ago. But, Storm Daniel, it's like...it's not a tropical storm because of like, it's not from the sparkling Champagne region of France or whatever...[Brooke laughs, getting the joke] Like...You know what I'm saying? [Affirmative noises] Like, in order for it to be a tropical storm it has to exist in this very specific way. But, it's like...it's a tropical storm, like in terms of its impact. Like, it's a sparkling nightmare. And, you know, so it's legally distinct. But, it hit a ton of Mediterranean countries, and it fucked a lot of things up. And, it most notoriously killed a fuck ton of people in Libya because there were these two aging dams outside of the city of Derna that broke on September 11th. The death toll is anywhere from 4,000 to 11,000 people with 9,000 people that are still missing, even though it's been several weeks. I believe that that 11,000 number includes those missing people. That's the best guess I can get. And, just basically a third of the city fucking washed out to sea. I'm being slightly hyperbolic. A third of the city was damaged and a fuck ton of it washed out into the sea. And...Yeah, the morgues were overfilled. Bodies were laid out in the main square on sidewalks. Eight people, eight officials have been arrested already over this, which is funny because it's better than what the United States would do, you know? And, we're all like, "Oh, look at these terrible, idiotic countries," or whatever. Like, no, they...So far, as of yesterday, as of recording, they've arrested eight people. **Inmn ** 22:32 Like on...because of...because of like what? Like preparation? **Margaret ** 22:36 Because they didn't fix the damn thing. Yeah, sorry. There are these two dams that for decades scientists...The dams were built in the 70's by, I want to say, a Turkish contractor. No, I'm not sure. A contractor from a different country. And, they've been showing signs of aging and they've just been unmaintained for like 50 years. And, in 2012-2013 $2 million was appropriated, like sent to fix them, but Libya has not been an incredibly stable place, and that money did not fix them. And so, yeah. Everyone was like...Scientists were sitting there being like, "There's a crack in this dam that's over the town. We should do something," and everyone's like, "Oh, yeah, totally." [In a tone suggesting they won't fix it] And, you know, I mean, that's, government for you? Like, like, you know? But, on the other hand...Whatever. Glad that people are at least trying to take it seriously. **Inmn ** 23:45 Sorry. Do you have more on that? **Margaret ** 23:47 No, no, let's talk about things in the Western world. **Inmn ** 23:50 Oh, yeah, I'm first. We'll start with the bad, unfortunately. So, the newest battleground for abortion access in Texas is that Texas is...There's this group of lawmakers who, you know, it's the same people who authored the Heartbeat Bill, who are trying to...Instead of making large state or national laws to target abortion, they're trying to target abortion on a very small level--which will have a huge and devastating impact--by building this network of what they call like "Sanctuary for the Unborn" cities. [Margaret scoffs] Yeah, no, it sounds pretty bad. And, so what they're doing is they're going to small towns, especially in West Texas, to try to get those towns to pass local ordinances that would create criminal penalties for traveling through those cities to access abortion care in states where abortion is still legal, like New Mexico. And, this is particularly impactful in West Texas because a lot of--there's a handful of new abortion clinics that have sprung up on the border of New Mexico and Texas specifically to serve people going from West Texas to New Mexico to access abortion care. And, two cities have passed the ordinances so far with as many as 51 cities who are thinking about it. And, the one currently in the news right now is Llano, Texas, which sits at an intersection of six different highways, including a pretty major highway, highway 87, which is a road that a lot of people who are going from Austin to New Mexico might use. And then there's a bunch of cities along I27 that have ordinances brewing for...similar ordinances. And, largely, though, what's interesting about this is that although two cities have passed this so far, there's a lot of conservative apprehension about passing these laws.  **Brooke ** 23:53 Really? **Inmn ** 24:23 And, this comes from...I think this comes from the intersection of like...these are probably more libertarian-minded people who think that it is an overreach for the government to create penalties based on travel, because they're worried about other ways that travel could be limited and for other reasons that travel could be limited. So, it's libertarians and conservatives who are not like...who are probably antiabortion, who probably support abortion bans, but they think that this kind of larger infrastructural travel thing goes way too far. So, there is a lot of conservative pushback from it, which is interesting. **Margaret ** 28:53 Okay, about abortion. Obviously, the State should not use--well, the State shouldn't exist--but, the State shouldn't use the Church or religious teachings in order to determine health care. I think that's a fairly understandable thing. However, if you, the listener, are religious in a Christian variety or if you want to argue with these people, this whole concept of being against abortion as a Christian is pretty fucking newfangled, is one of the things. The Church, the Catholic Church--which is a minority religion in the United States and is not a like primarily powerful force in the United States political sphere--the Catholic Church has only been against abortion since 1869. For almost all of the church's existence, abortion was only a problem during the third trimester after the Quickening, the Ensoulment, right, is what people want to argue about is like when a human gets a soul or whatever. And, until the late 19th century, the Ensoulment happened...people would argue either like...Most Jewish religious teaching, I believe, is that the Ensoulment--that's...I don't know if they use the word "Ensoulment''--but, the first breath of life, right? "You get your soul when your fucking born," is a very common traditional teaching. Also...Or, you get it at the Quickening, which is the fucking...like 24 weeks into pregnancy. And so, this whole idea of life beginning at conception is god damn new. All the people that the Catholics venerate didn't fucking believe that shit. And then, more than that, evangelicals, who are the main people pushing antiabortion shit, they didn't get into the shit until the 1970s. And they were like...basically were like, "Oh, how else can we be shitty?" And they were like, "Oh, we can be shitty by hating women. And so we're gonna fucking all of a sudden decide that we're against the following type of health care." I don't have as much of the facts about that in front of me, about exactly how that went, but basically, they joined...It used to be only the Catholics who were the people running around being shitty about abortion. And, I don't know. I, for some reason, I think that this matters...Like, just even in terms of like when you're talking about...Because people act like it's this like, "Well, I'm a Christian and therefore 2000 years of hating abortion," like that's just not the fucking case. **Inmn ** 31:17 Yeah, and even there was this one person in Llano, who was quoted as saying like--it was like a council person--who was like...she was like, "Yeah, I'm personally not in favor of abortion. But, I remember giving a friend, like picking up a friend from an abortion clinic in high school and like I didn't support it, but I picked them up. And, under this new law, I would be a criminal." So, what is interesting about this overstep to me is that it offers some ground for people to talk about things in a way that might not have been in the forefront before where like...Which is interesting. It's like the more that the government, or, you know, crazy far-right conservatives, overreach, it does have the potential to create these funny little fissures with, you know, just normal everyday people who are like, "Well, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Wait a second. I was against abortion, but this is looking more like Fascism." And, I think that is creating fissures, which is interesting. But... **Margaret ** 32:37 No, and it's good. That side should have fissures and we should make them...we should embiggen those fissures. There's a different word here.  **Brooke ** 32:46 I love it. **Inmn ** 32:51 But, yeah, that's mostly it for Texas. In a related note, Idaho recently became the first state to impose criminal penalties on people who help a minor leave the state for an abortion without parental consent, just as another wave of the war against abortion access. **Brooke ** 33:14 You know, this wasn't on my talking list, but, if I may, speaking of Idaho and abortion, I was reading about a lot of OB-GYN providers who are leaving Idaho in noticeable numbers, especially people who are specialists in like NICU care [Neonatal Intensive Care Unit] or early birth tiny baby death problem kind of things, those sort of high-level baby specialists, because they feel so at risk in Idaho that if something happens to a baby in their care, that they could be criminalized for it. I mean, they're taking jobs in other states and fleeing in such numbers that it's recognizable. And, there's some places that have--hospitals--in rural areas that have shut down their maternity wards. **Margaret ** 34:06 It's just so awful. **Inmn ** 34:09 Well, if state-by-state Christian nationalism bothered you, do I have some bad news, because recently it was unveiled that this horrifying thing called Project 2025, and it is a thousand page, essentially, playbook for conservative lawmakers to dismantle the federal government as it stands. And... **Margaret ** 34:40 Why do they always try to do the cool stuff? [Laughs at the dry joke] **Inmn ** 34:42 I know. I know. And, most of what they're looking at doing is completely dismantling the EPA and a lot of similar jobs that pertain to environmental regulation. But... **Margaret ** 34:54 Yeah, the stuff that we want to have keep happening once we have an organizational system instead of a government Yeah, I'm sure they're gonna keep the fucking cops and Border Patrol. Fuckers. Yeah. **Inmn ** 35:06 Yeah, it's pretty disconcerting. It's like trying...People view it as trying to pave the way for whatever the...whoever the next Republican president is to essentially become, you know a dictator in a more literal sense.  **Brooke ** 35:27 Well, the federal government is trying to fuck itself currently.  **Inmn ** 35:30 Oh, yeah?  **Brooke ** 35:31 If I can transition into that. Because, we are facing another federal government shutdown risk. [Makes an enthusiastic noise] **Margaret ** 35:42 Once again, they're gonna shut down the wrong parts of it, aren't they? **Brooke ** 35:44 Oh, yeah. Uh huh. They're gonna keep essential services, which is apparently not shit like OSHA, and Food and Drug inspections, and air traffic control. Those are not essential services. [Margaret laughing] **Margaret ** 35:58 I'm sure it's the goddamn Border Patrol and making sure poor people pay taxes and rich people don't. **Brooke ** 36:05 Yeah, shit like that. We talked about it one other time, government shutdowns on the show together, and in that context, it was talking about the debt ceiling, the government's self imposed limit on how much money they can borrow. And so, they were at risk of having to shut down because they weren't in agreement about being able to borrow more money. Well, this is the...now, we're facing the most beloved refuse-to-agree-on-a-budget federal government shutdown and fucking every time they have to redo the budget, it's always in the news, "Oh, it's gonna be a federal government shutdown!" And, sometimes it's more serious than others. So it's super hard to take it seriously. It hasn't really happened very many times that there's been a government shutdown. There was one that was back in like 2018-2019 that was 35 days or there abouts. And that one.... **Margaret ** 37:00 Which is the longest one in history?  **Brooke ** 37:02 Exactly. And that one was actually long enough to have an impact that mattered. If they have one right now, it's, you know, they probably won't have one there. And, if they do, it's going to be one of these stupid two or three day kind of things. It's really, really unlikely, because they just don't have the circumstances to have that long one happen again. If it did happen, and it goes on for a long time, then you get a lot of backups in the federal government. You have subsidy programs that won't send out payments, like SNAP benefits and Social Security benefits and housing assistance and financial aid for students. But again, it has to be a shutdown that's closer to a month long, because they're set up to do all of those payments, you know, for the next month. So, if they shut shut down today, October is all set to go and would automatically do its thing, and then November would be fucked if they stayed shut down. So, most likely not going to happen. If it does happen, probably a minimal one and longer interruptions. I guess if it happens and we're looking at a long one, we can talk about it some more and I can tell you all about what's actually going to go on and all the fucked-up-ed-ness. But, if you're seeing it in the news, it's just because this is the thing that the news likes to pick up right now and talk about this time of year. Yeah, don't stress out about it. Like, they fucking take the exact same article from the previous year and and, you know, move the paragraphs around. **Margaret ** 38:27 Well, it's like...it's like...Okay, it's like Covid. It's like...When Covid was first coming up, it was gonna be like another bird flu where we were like, "Oh, no, this thing that won't actually materially affect us that's just a news cycle panic thing." And then it's like every now and then it's a Covid, you know? And, eventually, it might be a Black Death and we're fucked, right? But, most of the time, when there's like...Like I still...Like, even as I was skimming there was some like, "new superbug" in such-and-such place and I'm like, "I'm not worried," right? Like, it's either...It's either gonna be real bad or it's not. But, there's a new one of those to worry about every fucking month. And, so, that makes sense about government shutdown being that it could be real fucking bad, but it usually isn't. Yeah. **Brooke ** 39:19 The worst that it's ever been still wasn't really that bad. I think things got really fucked up for, you know, about a month after they got back online. And then there were some other things that had delays, you know, applications and shit that they didn't process and then had like a backlog of and whatever. But, the biggest thing that could be an impact, that could, even if it's a short one, could be air travel, because the TSA doesn't get paid. And the last time they had a long one, the TSA agents were like, "No, we're not gonna stay here and work for free." And, they fucked off and went and drove Uber. And whatever. **Margaret ** 39:53 Yeah, I mean, there was a whole constitutional amendment about how you can't make people work without giving them money unless they're in prison. **Brooke ** 39:53 The government begged them and they're like, "Please, please. We know you'll...We'll figure it out. Please do it for free? You'll get back pay!"  **Margaret ** 40:08 And they're like "Nah, we fought a war over this." **Brooke ** 40:09 People are like, "I don't need back pay. I need money now." **Margaret ** 40:11 Yeah, if the economy wasn't trashed it wouldn't be a big deal. Everyone's paycheck-to-paycheck, even the fucking middle class, so what the fuck are you gonna do? **Inmn ** 40:22 Yeah. Which is...This is a whole thing. But, um, did you know that billionaires are putting a huge amount of energy and time into trying to figure out how to keep security forces loyal to them when money doesn't exist anymore? **Margaret ** 40:38 I think we've talked about this, haven't we?  **Inmn ** 40:39 I think a little bit. We've touched on it.  **Margaret ** 40:41 Maybe I just talk about it all the time. It just comes up at every dinner. **Inmn ** 40:47 Yeah, yeah. It's wild. It is a huge thing on billionaires minds right now is not getting killed by everyone when the...when civilization collapses. **Margaret ** 40:59 Yeah, specifically, how to get to their security...Yeah, how to get their security guards to like...In their doomsday shelter where they're like, "How will I still be in charge of my doomsday shelter when there's no outside world?" Like, well, you won't. You'll be dead and everyone will be glad. **Brooke ** 41:14 This is why I say "Start early and eat the rich." I've got a solution for India. **Margaret ** 41:21 Also, it's vegan to eat the rich because...Because veganism is a relationship to power, right? And so it's not actually...It's like you can't be speciesist against humans, right? So, you are not oppressing oppressed animals if you eat billionaires. **Brooke ** 41:41 Thank you. I feel even better about that. **Margaret ** 41:45 It might not be vegetarian, but it is vegan. [everyone laughing] **Inmn ** 41:50 Brooke, do you have any other things to tell us? [Nervously laughing] **Margaret ** 41:56 Before it goes over to me? [Laughing] **Brooke ** 41:58 My one other thing to say to you is "Don't talk to cops." Okay, go on. **Margaret ** 42:02 Okay, let's see. I got some bad stuff, some good stuff. Well, in good news, it was the hottest August on record all across the world.  So, get your bathing suits ready, including in the other hemisphere where it was supposed to have been Winter, but it wasn't. Everyone's like, "Oh, yeah, hottest August. I mean, it's fucking August." Like, no, you motherfucker, it's Winter somewhere when it's August.  **Brooke ** 42:28 Margaret, do you know it's September though? Like just checking. **Margaret ** 42:34 I'll take your word for it. The leaves are turning where I live. Okay, so there's like, we had the hottest August, we had the hottest July, and we had the hottest June. We also had five months in a row of the hottest global surface sea temperatures, like each month it hits a new record that is hotter than the one previously. Overall, our August was 2.25 degrees Fahrenheit, like 1.25 Celsius, I think, over the 20th century average.  **Brooke ** 43:03 We did it!  **Margaret ** 43:04 Yeah, exactly. But, don't worry, all of this rising sea temperature actually will make tropical storms, and sparkling storms, rarer. This surprised me. It'll make them rarer. But, it'll make them more powerful. So hurricanes, more common. But, tropical storms and sparkling storms, less common because a higher percentage of them will destroy things in their wake. **Brooke ** 43:33 Okay, but on net because there's less of the other kind, we should just average out to be fine, right? That's what I hear you saying, one's worse, ones...not. **Margaret ** 43:37 Yes, absolutely. It's a good time to get a yacht. And I know who has yachts. They are people who you can eat, ethically. And, if you want to get to the ocean to get some yachts, you can go down the Mississippi River. Except, did y'all hear that? It's not in the fucking national news at all. Did you hear that New Orleans is having a water crisis?  **Brooke ** 43:40 No, I didn't hear about that.  **Margaret ** 43:44 They're gonna have to be shipping in millions of gallons of water to New Orleans for people to drink. Because--and this is not certain. This is looming. This is today's news, like past couple days news. All of the drought that has been happening this year has the Mississippi so fucking low that there's basically backwash from the sea coming up into it. And, so all of the saltwater is going to fuck up southern Louisiana's plumbing, right? And, also fuck up--and you can't, you can't boil advisory saltwater. Off the top of my head, if you are stuck with saltwater, your best bet for desalination is building a solar still or some other kinds of still. Be very careful. If you purchase a still. You can buy them on Amazon. Most of the things you can do with stills are incredibly illegal and will get the ATF paying attention to you. However, I don't know, if I was in New Orleans right now, I'd probably buy a fucking still. Just in case. Because, you can distill water and then the brackish water stays in the bottle. Whatever. Anyway, people can fucking do their own research about that or listen to us talking about this on this very show. So, New Orleans is trying to head this off. And, one of the things that's worth understanding is that there are people who try to stop this stuff and they are worth celebrating, even if they're like the federal government or whatever, right? Like, the US Army Corps of Engineers just built a 25 foot underwater levee to try and stop the backwash of saltwater into the Mississippi. It is not enough. Right? As of this morning's news anyway, it's not enough.  **Brooke ** 43:44 Wait, how much of a levy [misheard levee as levy] was it? Did you say in price or volume?  **Margaret ** 45:45 25 Feet. **Brooke ** 45:46 Oh, feet. **Margaret ** 45:48 The height of it. Yeah, it's 25 feet from the river bottom up levee.  **Brooke ** 45:55 And that's not enough?  **Margaret ** 45:57 No. Yeah. And, okay, so that happened. And that's one of the ones that like...Yeah, I've been struggling to find anything about it besides hearing from people in New Orleans. But, it's a big fucking deal. Because, we also within the United States have these places where people don't pay attention. One of the other places that people don't pay attention to is the border. We sometimes pay attention to the border because we care and we're aware of this monstrous humanitarian crisis caused by the United States government and its policies that's happening at the border, you know? And all of this cruelty and racism that's happening. But, one of the things I want to talk about--because no episode could be complete without some micro rant. And don't worry, my weird thing about theology is not going to be my micro rant for this week. Although, this one's actually probably shorter than my one about fucking theology. I've had a weird month of research. So, all of this bad shit's happening at the border. We are still in a border crisis. There's a lot of families that are trapped between two walls at the southern border. And, these are people who are trying to come as refugees, trying to do the thing that right wingers are like, "Well, if they just came properly like my great grandparents, who totally came before there was even fucking immigration policies, then it would be totally fine." Because, P.S., if you're white, there's a very good chance that your ancestors came before there was any kind of immigration. They probably literally just got off a boat. Anyway. So, there's all these people and there's all these people fucking trying to...not trying to. There's all these people feeding and clothing and providing phone charging services and shit for these people. And, what's kind of cool, is I'm aware of three groups that are doing this outside of San Diego right now. And, they kind of run the gamut, right? You've got the Free Shit Collective, whose logo has 1312 in it. And then you have the American Friends Service Committee, the Quakers. And then, in the middle, you have Border Kindness, who are another group. And so, whatever your flavor of mutual aid is, you fucking go support it. I say support all of them. And let's continue to build good interconnectedness between all of the people who are trying to do good right now. Because, much how even though Gondor did not come to Rohan's aid, it was still very important for the Riders of Rohan to show up to support Gondor when Mordor was attacking them. And, even the Ents, who also had been not treated well by the humans, and the dwarves, and the elves, you know, all come together, right, to fight against the United States government, which is Mordor. And... **Inmn ** 48:49 I'm so excited to transcribe this. **Margaret ** 48:54 You're the only transcript person who will be able to spell any of these things. And so, to that, I want to say, okay, because I was thinking about how we're always like, "Oh, God, we're gonna go talk about a bunch of bad shit." And I know people who listen to our show but don't listen to this episode every month, right? And because it's a series of bad things. And, the thing that I've been thinking about that is that I'm like, but there's all these good things that happen. But, most good things that happen aren't like, "And then there was 100 years of peace and everyone had happy, idyllic lives," right? That is a rare, random thing that some people are lucky enough to live lives of peace, you know? But, that is not what the average human experiences. And I refuse to believe that the average human experience is negative because bad things are always happening. And what makes our lives good, is how we choose to act against that bad. May we view ourselves as lucky that we are born in these times. May we view ourselves as lucky that we can join in the Rider of Rohan and, "A red day, a blood day. Death, death, death!" Although, that's actually...that's actually...I hate when the movie gets things better than the books, but that's a fucking sick speech andonly parts of it are from the books. And, also Tolkien totally cribbed this way older Norse poem about like, "Shields will be splintered..." Whatever. Anyway. "Wolf Time?" I...Fuck, I can't remember the name of it. Anyway, bad things are always happening, **Brooke ** 50:33 Margaret, can I just say that I love you. **Margaret ** 50:34 Aw, I love y'all too. Bad shit's always happening. But, look at these three different groups that are working together to fight this. And what can be more beautiful than that, right? And, they support each other and they talk about each other as all doing good things together. I'm sure that there's some fucking beef between them. And I don't know about it because I'm not there. And that's what you should do with beef, is people should know about it locally, but it's no one's business at the wider world. So, you should support these people, is what I'm trying to say. It's the Free Shit Collective, it is Border Kindness, and it is the American Friends Service Committee. However, if you go to support the American Friends Service Committee, you need to look specifically for their San Diego chapter and for the group of them that is working on border stuff, rather than it just going to the Quakers at large, who are perfectly fine even though they invented the penitentiary, but it's only sort of their fault. Okay, the other thing, the actual just like straight up good news that I have is that the Writers Guild has reached a tentative agreement after 150 days of strike. By the time you all are hearing this, maybe the agreement will probably have either been accepted or not accepted, right? So, either the strike will be over or the strike will be back and everyone's more bitter. But, this is a really beautiful strike and it captured the nation's attention partly because these people know how to write. And, they're also the people who produce the stuff that entertains us, right? And so we're very aware of it. But, that does not make it a less...it actually makes it a more impactful strike because it allows all the rest of us to know that we can strike too. And, absolutely, on the other side, the bosses were out for blood. They were constantly saying like, "We are going to do this until the writers are homeless. We don't care," you know? And, they can say that all they want, but it's a little early to say and you all will either be like "What a naive summer child, saying that." But, it looks like we might win. And when I say, "we," I mean the working class, which is the people who work for a living. It's not about the actual income you make. Middle-class people are often working class. It just depends on whether your money comes from being a fucking landlord or whether it comes from fucking working. Did you all know that "summer child" is also a science fiction reference, or a fantasy reference. Did you know this?  **Inmn ** 53:00 Oh, sort of.  **Margaret ** 53:02 It comes from "Game of Thrones." Everyone thinks that it is an old timey southern saying.  **Brooke ** 53:09 It's not?  **Margaret ** 53:10 It's not. It's from fucking :Game of Thrones.: It doesn't exist before like the mid or late 90s or whatever the fuck that book came out. Because it means... **Inmn ** 53:21 Sorry, this is maybe dashing a thing, but this has literally happened throughout history, like literature inventing funny phrases. I don't think you're saying something negative about it, but Shakespeare is credited with like...It's some horrifying number of words that are in common use right now that didn't exist before. **Margaret ** 53:47 Yeah. And all the sayings and shit all come from him. Or, they come from his like social circle and he's the one who wrote them down... **Inmn ** 53:52 Totally.  **Margaret ** 53:52 ...you know, which also rules. Okay, and then to wrap up news stuff. Okay. There's also, you know how fracking sucks, where people try to get the last little bits of fossil fuels out so that we can turn the Earth into a furnace instead of living decent lives?  **Brooke ** 54:10 Yeah. Defs.  **Margaret ** 54:12 Well, have you all heard of monster fracking? It's not where they use Monster energy drinks. It should be, because that's the only good use for it. **Brooke ** 54:19 Okay, no, I haven't heard of it. **Inmn ** 54:24 Is it releasing monsters from the ground through fracking? **Margaret ** 54:28 Oh, that would be good too. That would actually...I'm entirely in favor of...I mean, Godzilla was originally an anti-nuclear movie. **Brooke ** 54:35 Do they use monsters to do the fracking? **Margaret ** 54:38 No, it's just monstrously large. It's this like mega fracking. It's just where they go and dig wells in order to get enough water. They drain entire aquifers in order to get the last little bits of fucking gas out of the ground. And, this is how it happened. And so, water usage in fracking has gone up seven times since 2011. Since 2011, fracking has used 1.5 trillion gallons of water, which is a lot. It's not...It's a fucking lot. That's what all of Texas uses as tap water for an entire year.  **Brooke ** 55:22 Aquifers? Or the amount of water used?  **Margaret ** 55:25 The amount of water used. And, overall, Americans are using up their aquifers very quickly. But, again, it's this kind of like, "Oh, so don't drink as much water." Like, no, it's monster fracking that is the problem. It is growing the wrong food in the fucking desert that is the problem. **Brooke ** 55:45 But, aquifers are unlimited? [said sarcastically] **Margaret ** 55:47 I mean, it's funny because I live on a well and that's kind of how I feel. Like, it's not true. And, the water drilling, like water drilling, is actually not federally regulated. It's state-by-state. And, a lot of states literally are like, "You're just allowed to do it until there's no more water." You are allowed to frack with water during moderate and severe droughts, anything but extreme is before they start putting any limitations on fracking. So, you are well past the part where you can't water your lawn--which is ,you know, whatever, fucking lawn--but well past the point where you can't water a lawn or wash your car, they're allowed to frack completely unimpeded. And, in Utah, California, and Texas, there have been buckled roads, cracked foundations, and fissures into the earth because of depleted groundwater. And let's see, one oil region in Texas has seen their aquifer falling at 58 feet a year. Last year was the lowest groundwater in US history. And, this affects everything, right? Kansas' corn yields last year were fucked up because its aquifer wasn't...for the first time, it wasn't enough for the agriculture of its region. So, I think they had to import water but also just didn't get to use enough water, so their corn yields were down. And as we've hinted...we've talked about a lot in the show, we overproduce like cereal grains. Not over produce. We produce a fuck ton of cereal grains in this country. So, we actually haven't seen--we've seen prices go up--but we haven't really seen a ton of shortages and stuff yet. This continues to be a threat. I feel a little bit like the girl cries wolf about this where I'm like, "Oh, like, you know, Kansas' corn yields are down," but you can still like go to the store and buy corn tortillas, right? Here. You know, other parts of the world are not so lucky. Anyway, that's what I got. **Brooke ** 57:49 Okay, let me roll up my sleeves and go on my indigenous rant about water protection and sacredness. Now we're out of time. I'm going to do next time. I'm going to open with that next time.  **Inmn ** 58:00 Do it. Do it anyway! **Brooke ** 58:03 Water is sacred. Water is life, motherfuckers. Okay, that's my rant. **Margaret ** 58:08 That's a good rant. **Inmn ** 58:09 Solid. I have some little bitty headlines. Does anyone else have a little bitty headlines? **Margaret ** 58:17 I think I threw most of mine in what I just did. **Inmn ** 58:19 Cool. Before we wrap up, I have a couple little bitty headlines, a handful of which are good. **Margaret ** 58:26 Oh, I have two good ones at the end. **Inmn ** 58:28 Wonderful. So, the first one is a bad one, which is, as Margaret brings up the US-Mexico border...This one actually shocked me. Not because I am unaware of how bad it is, but because I don't know, I think I maybe thought there were places that were worse. I don't know. But, the UN declared that the US-Mexico border is the deadliest land migration route in the world recently.  **Margaret ** 58:55 Jesus. You're right. That's exactly it. Your response is exactly what I thought. **Inmn ** 59:01 Yeah. With...And this is last year, so 2022, with 686 people or migrants died in the desert last year on the US-Mexico border. And, it's a number that like...it's a number that is vastly under reported on. Like having done a lot of humanitarian aid work along the US-Mexico border, that is a horribly underreported number. But, in a kind of cool thing, a federal judge ordered that the death buoys in the Rio Grande be removed, which is...that's cool. [Brooke yays] **Margaret ** 59:44 Haven't they not done it yet? They like ordered it removed, but they still are kind of kicking their heels or there was some other....  **Inmn ** 59:52 I don't know.  **Margaret ** 59:53 Nevermind. I only know the headline level. **Inmn ** 59:56 Me too. A gay couple in Kentucky was recently awarded $100,000 in a settlement over a county clerk's refusal to issue them a marriage license. **Margaret ** 1:00:08 Hell yeah. Fuck that clerk. **Inmn ** 1:00:10 Yeah, pretty cool. **Brooke ** 1:00:11 Gonna be a nice wedding now. **Margaret ** 1:00:14 I hope it's at the house that that guy no longer lives at. I hope they just gave them his house. **Inmn ** 1:00:21 There were five cops indicted over the Tyre Nichols murder in September, which is, you know, also pretty cool.  **Brooke ** 1:00:37 Is eating cops vegan? **Margaret ** 1:00:42 Probably. I mean, you could make an argument that eating any human is vegan because of the speciesism line, but it's certain with billionaires. Cops, like, you know, I mean, I eat honey, so who am I to like really police the lines of veganism? It's like cops are probably like the equivalent of honey, you know? Or, like those sea animals that don't have central nervous systems that can't feel pain. I don't think cops can feel pain. So, I don't think that it's immoral to hurt or eat...This is the sketchiest thing I've ever said on the show. **Brooke ** 1:01:16 So, I can still make a BLT then. Ethically sourced bacon. **Inmn ** 1:01:24 Speaking of cops, I have one last headline on cops, which I realized that we track a lot of...we track a lot of death. And, a lot of those deaths are in our communities or in communities that our communities are either in community with or would be in community with, and I thought it might be interesting to start tracking the number of cops that die every month. **Brooke ** 1:01:52 Oh, that's a joyous headline. **Inmn ** 1:01:55 And, it was only seven in September, mostly from vehicle related accidents.  **Margaret ** 1:02:03 That doesn't surprise me.  **Inmn ** 1:02:04 Yeah, it doesn't surprise me. And, there were 86 this year.  **Margaret ** 1:02:11 86 cops... **Inmn ** 1:02:11 Yeah, 86 cops. [Not getting that it's a joke] **Margaret ** 1:02:14 Eh, eh? Like, when there's no more in the kitchen and we gotta stop serving them...Anyway. **Inmn ** 1:02:21 And one of them was from a train. That's my headline. Is this sketchy to say? I don't know. **Margaret ** 1:02:33 I don't know, I mean, whatever. They...It's still safer than almost every job in America. Well, there's a list of the most dangerous jobs and they're like...they're not at the bottom of the list, but they are nowhere near the top of the list. Okay, the two headlines I got...Call me a future-believer person. In July...Okay, last December there was the fusion test where they actually successfully, I believe for the first time ever, got more power out of a fusion test than they put into it. For anyone who's...like nuclear bombs and shit is fission power, right? And it's one interesting way to make electricity that has a lot of side effects. Fusion power is what the sun does. And seeking cold fusion has been like the holy grail of science for a very long time, because that's when you can have gay space communism. Or, knowing our society, slightly gay capitalism in space or whatever the fuck horrible thing they come up with. But, they've been trying since December to repeat that. And, in July, they got even more power out of a fusion experiment. They, I think they more than doubled what they put into it or...I remember exactly. They got a fuck ton of power out. They've also failed numerous times since then. But, this is still incredibly promising from my point of view. I personally believe that deindustrialization and things like that are essential, but I'm not...I think having some electricity around is quite grand. And, if there's a way we can do it ethically, and environmentally sound, and it doesn't explode the entire world...Like, who knows what fusion will do? Maybe people will just explode the whole world? And I'll be like, "Oops, sorry," but, I won't because I'll be dead. And, whatever, that's how we all end up anyway. And then the other one is that--and actually just speaking of sort of vaguely green but not green ecotech news--there have been a bunch of studies about electric cars. Because, everyone's very aware of how shitty lithium mining and all that stuff is, all of the minerals that are used in the batteries, right? And, it started reaching the point where actually, it's actually been stopping the electric car adoption in some ways is because people are like, "Well, it's so fucking bad that I'm just gonna go back to my, you know, my fossil fuels car." And, so they tested it and it is still, in terms of embedded greenhouse gases and like impact on the environment, driving electric cars, even though all of the mining practices are fucked up, is still less fucked up for the earth than driving a fossil fuel car. Obviously, I think that we should be moving towards mass transit models and more local stuff and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But, electric cars are better than gas cars is my take and the take of some recent science, at least in terms of the impact on the climate. Kind of wish that wasn't the note I was ending on, but... **Inmn ** 1:05:36 Wait, I have a cool note. I forgot one. I feel like this is a mixed bag of a thing, but I...Whatever, reform is complicated. But, if there are things that impact people's lives on a material level now like that's cool. Illinois just became the first state to abolish cash bail. [Cheers] Which, I think, is more complicated than a lot of people think. Like, it could have...it could have bad side effects, which is there being...Like, specifically, there's violent and nonviolent...It splits it into violent and nonviolent crimes. And, if you have a nonviolent crime, you basically won't go to jail until you're convicted of a crime that requires you to go to jail, But, for violent crimes you are stuck in jail. And, it's in that, which is how the State defines violence, which makes it complicated. So, you know, for instance, like buddies...like, you know, folks down in Cop City who have been booked on domestic terrorism charges, those people, if a similar thing existed in Georgia, would be stuck in jail throughout their trial without the option of bail. So, this is the kind of complication of no cash bail. But, a really cool thing is that it will get a lot of people out of...Anyone who's in awaiting trial can now petition to be released. **Brooke ** 1:07:22  Oh, wow. **Inmn ** 1:07:23 Which is the really cool part about. Yeah, so that's my ending note. Thanks y'all for being here.  **Margaret ** 1:07:37 Yep.  **Inmn ** 1:07:42 And if you enjoyed this podcast, go join the Riders of Rohan, not just for Gondor but for all of the free peoples of Middle Earth. But, if you want...Also, if you liked this podcast, you should, you know, like, and review, and rate, and I don't know what any of these things actually are. I'm just saying words. But, tell people about the podcast. And you can also support this podcast by supporting its publisher Strangers in a Tangled Wilderness. Strangers is a media publishing collective. We put out books, zines, and other podcasts like Strangers in a Tangled Wilderness, a monthly podcast of anarchistic literature or the Anarcho Geek Power Hour, which is a great show for people who love movies and hate cops. And, you can find our Patreon at patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. And, we would like to shout out a few wonderful people in particular. Thank you, Eric, Perceval, Buck, Jacob, Catgut, Marm, Carson, Lord Harken, Trixter, Miranda, BenBen, Anonymous, Funder, Janice & O'dell, Aly, Paparouna, Milica, Boise Mutual Aid, theo, Hunter, S.J., Paige, Nicole, David, Dana, Chelsea, Staro, Jenipher, Kirk, Chris, Michaiah, and the eternal Hoss the Dog. We hope everyone's doing as well as they can and we'll see you next time. Find out more at https://live-like-the-world-is-dying.pinecast.co

Paul Cunningham, Political Correspondent, looks ahead to the publication of the Electoral Commission's review into constituency boundaries.

BestPodcastintheMetaverse.com Canary Cry News Talk #651 - 08.02.2023 - Recorded Live to 1s and 0s BREAKTHROUGH PHASE | Neuro Warfare, Fed Torch, Microchip Miracle, Russian Watermelons Deconstructing Corporate Mainstream Media News from a Biblical Worldview The Show Operates on the Value 4 Value Model: http://CanaryCry.Support Join the Supply Drop: http://CanaryCrySupplyDrop.com Submit Articles: http://CanaryCry.Report Join the T-Shirt Council: http://CanaryCryTShirtCouncil.com Resource: Index of MSM Ownership (Harvard.edu) Resource: Aliens Demons Doc (feat. Dr. Heiser, Unseen Realm) Tree of Links: http://CanaryCry.Party   This Episode was Produced By: Pre-Show Prayer BrentonJB   Executive Producers Kevin M*** Sir Klif Knight of the Impending Dawn*** Suave Slick***   Producers Willy supply dopr guy Puddin22 Malik W Sir Marti K Knight of the Wrong Timeline Sir LX Protocol V2 Knight of the Berrean Protocol Jack D Sir Morv Knight of the Burning Chariots Sir Marty K Knight of the Wrong Timeline Sir Casey the Shield Knight Veronica D Sir Scott Knight of Truth Dame Gail Canary Whisperer and Lady of X's and O's   CanaryCry.ART Submissions JonathanF LittleOwen Sir Marti K Knight of the Wrong Timeline Sir Dove Knight of Rusbeltia   Micro-Fiction Runksmash - The giant canary man nears the center of the dark scientistic temple. Nervously he dons a mask with comically large googly eyes, and then steps up to the scanner. Moments later the door opens and an electric voice says “Welcome Dusty.” He's made it.   Stephen S - After returning to the states from Antarctica, formerly a non-binary janitor, Zoe authored a “tell all book” on their tenure in the white desert.  Joining the UFO circuit, they claim being in the presence of giant alien beings with thick German accents.     CLIP PRODUCER Emsworth, FaeLivrin, Joelms, Laura   TIMESTAPERS Jade Bouncerson, Christine C, Pocojo, Morgan E   CanaryCry.Report Submissions JAM   REMINDERS Clankoniphius   SHOW NOTES/TIMESTAMPS Podcast = T -  4:04 from D-Live HELLO, RUN DOWN 7:39 V / 3:35 P WORLDCOIN 9:22 V / 5:18 P Kenya Suspends Worldcoin (Reuters)   SCIENCE 19:35 V / 15:31 P LK-99 (Wikipedia)   DNA/TRANSHUMAN 30:40 V / 26:36 P Scientists control human DNA with electricity using new tech in breakthrough (DailyMail)   CYBORG/MIND CONTROL 34:13 V / 30:09 P Clip: Paralysed man moves again thanks to mind-reading brain chip (Metro)   HARRY LEGS BIDEN 41:47 V / 37:43 P Xeet: “Microchips are infrastructure” Note: Revelation 9:6   DAY JINGLE/V4V/EXEC./supply/ 46:23 V / 42:19 P   FLIPPY 1:08:04 V / 1:04:00 P The Robots We Were Afraid of Are Already Here (NY Times)   AI/BEING WATCHED 1:25:35 V / 1:21:31 P Torch.AI Opens New Fusion Lab for Intelligence, Surveillance and more (PRNewswire)   BBB/MIND CONTROL  1:36:13 V / 1:32:10 P Conspiracy Theory Neuroscience Guy (Politico)   TREASURE/SPEAKPIPE/TALENT 2:10:23 V / 2:06:19 P     ANTARCTICA/RUSSIA 2:26:44 V / 2:22:40 P Russian scientists have grown watermelons in the coldest place on Earth (Live Science)   V4V/TIME 2:36:00 V / 2:31:56 END

The South Australian leg of the Murray River is rising again, authorities say there is no cause for concern but locals still in flood recovery mode are anxiously watching on. 

The Best Christian Podcast in the Metaverse Canary Cry News Talk #650 - 07.31.2023 - Recorded Live to Tape ASIAN PROVOCATEUR | Subliminal Racism, Boiling Climate Bot, Bio Lab Bust, Jesus Flies Deconstructing Corporate Mainstream Media News from a Biblical Worldview We Operate Value 4 Value: http://CanaryCry.Support Join Supply Drop: http://CanaryCrySupplyDrop.com Submit Articles: http://CanaryCry.Report Join the Tee Shirt Council: http://CanaryCryTShirtCouncil.com Resource: Index of MSM Ownership (Harvard.edu) Resource: Aliens Demons Doc (feat. Dr. Heiser, Unseen Realm) All the links: http://CanaryCry.Party   This Episode was Produced By: Pre-Show Prayer BrentonJB   Executive Producers Dame Maureen Lady of the Appalachian Hills; House of the Fountain of Living Water*** Hannah G*** Kevin M*** Sir Redbeard Pirate King of the Demoochers*** Jacob B*** Sir Stefan T. Seeker of Bits*** Felicia D*** Palmer C*** Ciara H***   Producers Malik W Sir Morv Knight of the Burning Chariots Sir LX Protocol V2 Knight of the Berrean Protocol David M Sir Marty K Knight of the Wrong Timeline Veronica D Sir Casey the Shield Knight Sir Scott Knight of Truth Dame Gail Canary Whisperer  Warren H   CanaryCry.ART Submissions LittleOwen Lloyd V Sir Dove Knight of Rusbeltia   Micro-Fiction Runksmash - The giant canary man nears the center of the dark scientistic temple. Nervously he dons a mask with comically large googly eyes, and then steps up to the scanner. Moments later the door opens and an electric voice says “Welcome Dusty.” He's made it.   Stephen S - Coach Schawb texts the Doctor: Coach Schwab: Your little friend in Congonda is getting uppity. I need a little demonstration to put her in her place. Doctor: Do you recall my startup launching weather balloons? We'll protect the climate over her population. ;)   CLIP PRODUCER Emsworth, FaeLivrin, Joelms, Laura   TIMESTAPERS Jade Bouncerson, Christine C, Pocojo, Morgan E   CanaryCry.Report Submissions JAM, The Body Language Guy named Jesus   REMINDERS Clankoniphius

Welcome to Season 4 of The Business of Business: Two Daughters & Their Dad where we talk about all things entrepreneurial.Today, Jack, Jennifer, and Staci continue the discussion on motivation - when you have a lot and when you have a little.  The discussion also focuses on the need for that all-important 180-day check-in.Jack also reminds us to remember to use our network and mentors during our motivational highs and lows.Today's Nuggets:Use your check-in wiselyIt's important to remember how you felt when you set your goalsThe business of entrepreneurship is a tough oneYour why and basics will see you through #entreprenuership#Businesspodcast#twodaughters#thebusinessofbusiness#thedadThis podcast is sponsored by:Flying High Agility & Dog Training Helping people & their pets since 2003. We come to you!Dempsey, Weiss & Associates Meeting the insurance and financial needs of business owners & individuals in NJ & PA since 1989.J. Faith Hair Studio Located in south NJ, J Faith Hair Studio is the place to go to become the best version of yourself.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Email us at: TwoDaughtersAndTheirDad@gmail.com Please download our Best of Nuggets eBook here. Like and follow us on Facebook Jennifer Faith Dempsey has been in the beauty industry for over 10 years. For the last 5m years, she has owned J. Faith Hair Studio. She brings her experience on how she balances entrepreneurship and motherhood. Check out Jen's blog.Staci Joy Dempsey is an insurance agent, a mom, and a busy non-profit volunteer. She truly understands what it means to be an entrepreneur. Staci serves as the podcast's host.Jack Dempsey is the dad who heads up this busy family. He is a founding partner in Dempsey, Weiss & Associates, an Elmer, NJ-based insurance and investment firm that began more than 30 years ago.

4-14:  Nervously Excited Motivation Part 1Welcome to Season 4 of The Business of Business: Two Daughters & Their Dad where we talk about all things entrepreneurial.Jennifer is nervously excited, motivated by her staff's successes and the growth of her business.  Entrepreneurial motivation ebbs and flows, but health pressure can benefit you and your business.The Dempseys talk about how motivating it is when your team meets its goals and how that can change future conversations and the direction of your business.  Growth and innovation can come from both excitement and pressure.This episode also addresses how your why will see you through the good and bad times.Today's Nuggets:Be selective in what you share with your staff versus your sounding board bubbleRemember your why; it serves as your guide during good and bad timesMuscles must be under stress to growShow up even when it's hardKeep that 5,000 lbs flywheel movingStepping away can sometimes help your motivationEmail us at:  TwoDaughtersAndTheirDad@gmail.comPlease download our Best of Nuggets eBook here.Like and follow us on Facebook Jennifer Faith Dempsey has been in the beauty industry for over 10 years. For the last 5m years, she has owned J. Faith Hair Studio. She brings her experience on how she balances entrepreneurship and motherhood.  Check out Jen's blog. Staci Joy Dempsey is an insurance agent, a mom, and a busy non-profit volunteer. She truly understands what it means to be an entrepreneur.  Staci serves as the podcast's host. Jack Dempsey is the dad who heads up this busy family.  He is a founding partner in Dempsey, Weiss & Associates, an Elmer, NJ-based insurance and investment firm that began more than 30 years ago.  #entreprenuership#Businesspodcast#twodaughters#thebusinessofbusiness#thedad  The Business of Business podcast is sponsored by:

The Indignity Morning Podcast is also available via the Apple and Spotify platforms. Get full access to INDIGNITY at indignity.substack.com/subscribe

Eleanor Beardsley takes us to an eastern Ukraine town anxiously watching the fighting in nearby Bakhmut, because they know if it falls, they might be next.

Rachel Senior believes that your greatest business meetings are happening in your sleep. In today's episode of The Business of You, Rachel will inspire and educate us on the power of dreams - for personal, professional and spiritual growth. Rachel Senior is a Pastor, an Author, a Songwriter, An Entrepreneur, and a professional Dream Coach. She is the Founder of Business of Dreams and The Dream College. Having been a uniquely gifted dreamer from early childhood, Rachel Senior has come into full awareness, through a number of personal dream encounters and manifested dream interpretations, the power of the Dream to create wealth, to build businesses, to advance corporations, and to save lives! She now takes the charge to activate this power all over the land. Rachel has a Masters in Psychology and an Education Specialist Degree in Curriculum & Instruction. She is the Author of The Business of Dreams: 5 Ways to Maximize the Linear Relationship Between Your Purpose, Your Business and Economic Success, and Your Dreams. She also wrote Hidden Wealth: 4 Things you Did Not Know about the Interrelation Between Wealth and Dreams and  Dreamsmen- The Final Combat.  Take your gifts seriously Rachel's dreams have always been vivid. When she was younger, she felt embarrassed by her classmates' reactions.  Especially when she had a negative or ominous dream about them, she hesitated to inform them. But when dream after dream came true, she began to realize that telling them about her dreams could have helpful implications.  Rachel's dreams are an important reminder that even if something feels weird or socially awkward at first, our gifts are meant to be shared - and the right people will be grateful.  She recalls a time when she dreamt about a young woman she had gone to school with…a decade earlier. She saw the woman giving up on her aspirations of becoming a professional makeup artist, throwing away her makeup and supplies. Nervously, Rachel looked her up on social media. Abandoning her reservations, she messaged the woman. She called her immediately.  This woman had indeed been considering a career change. Depressed and frustrated, she wasn't seeing results from her business. Discouraged by her lack of success, her light was beginning to fade. That's when Rachel's gift changed everything. Rachel talked her off a ledge, convincing her that triumph was closer than she thought. After her call with Rachel, she landed important contracts for her business, became a celebrity makeup artist and gained serious influence in the beauty industry.  How to become a better dreamer Rachel takes her dreams seriously - and she wants to convince you to do the same. She is here to tell you that your dreams are a gift, given to you by a higher power. And that a higher power has big exciting plans for you.  After going on her own dream journey, Rachel takes this podcast as an opportunity to help you become a better dreamer. To begin receiving powerful and life-changing dreams, you must first respect, honor and commit to them.  There are few steps to becoming a better dreamer. First, she recommends treating your sleep like a meeting with God. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, she encourages you to consider this a time of divine communion. Show up to your meeting with the divine with an open heart, casting aside the worries and cares from the previous day.  Rachel suggests that you keep a notebook and pen on your bedside table and be ready to take notes in the morning or whenever you wake up. When you commit consistently to recording your dreams, you're sure to start having more of them.  What do dreams mean for your business? While doing research, Rachel discovered that many entrepreneurs use their dreams to make big important decisions about their businesses - not just historically, but currently. Now, she coaches and hosts corporate seminars to teach Executive Leaders how to use their dream life to launch, expand and grow their businesses.  Using your dreams as a North Star, making intimidating decisions can feel effortless. If you're stuck on how to write your book, what course to launch this year or how to grow your company, it's time for you to get into alignment…in your sleep! Quotes “God absolutely speaks to me in my dreams.” “We've got to pay attention to our dreams.  We're asking all these questions, we don't know what our purpose is, and we have important decisions to make.”     “There was a time when I was like, I'm not telling anybody my dreams! But over time, I had to embrace that they are a gift I can utilize to help people. Even if the dream isn't so good, it can help them prepare so it won't be so bad.” “It was like God was saying, ‘Let me see how disciplined you're going to be with these dreams'! Once I showed that I'm going to write them down and study them, it became easier to remember when I woke up. I write them down, record them or make little notes. You've got to make a habit of remembering them. Dreams don't come through our conscious minds.” “I learned not to ignore my dreams. And in the process of me following my dreams, the downloads became instant. It was happening without me making an effort. I started writing my book. The courses started coming. Just because I said fine, I'll do it!” “What greater way to coach, than through God-given information.” Links mentioned in this episode: Learn more about Business of Dreams and The Dream College at www.businessofdreams.net  Connect with Rachel Senior on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-senior-66b619100/  Follow Rachel Senior on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/dreamcoachrachel/  Find Rachel on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100016230313576 

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President Biden outlines budget that Republicans vow is dead on arrival Norfolk Southern CEO apologizes at Senate hearing on train derailment – but won't support bipartisan safety plan Immigrants rights groups urge update to registry allowing applications for permanent residency State sues Huntington Beach for failing to allow more housing State lawmakers seek to renew rules on use of facial recognition technology     Image: James St. John, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons The post President Biden announces budget plan that Republicans immediately reject; Norfolk Southern CEO apologizes for train derailment; Abortion providers nervously await Texas judge decision on abortion pill: The Pacifica Evening News March 9 2023 appeared first on KPFA.

President Biden outlines budget that Republicans vow is dead on arrival Norfolk Southern CEO apologizes at Senate hearing on train derailment – but won't support bipartisan safety plan Immigrants rights groups urge update to registry allowing applications for permanent residency State sues Huntington Beach for failing to allow more housing State lawmakers seek to renew rules on use of facial recognition technology     Image: James St. John, CC BY 2.0 , via Wikimedia Commons The post President Biden announces budget plan that Republicans immediately reject; Norfolk Southern CEO apologizes for train derailment; Abortion providers nervously await Texas judge decision on abortion pill: The Pacifica Evening News March 9 2023 appeared first on KPFA.

Hawke's Bay is in for another downpour - just as locals begin picking up after Cyclone Gabrielle. Wairarapa is under a heavy rain watch, and that'll be extended to cover Hawke's Bay from midday and Gisborne from 2pm. Hawke's Bay Civil Defence Controller Ian Macdonald spoke to Guyon Espiner.

A short discussion of the title of the podcast, on an important point that didn't get addressed in the first episode. Nervously, I try to say what I'm looking for in the interviews, when, in fact, there is so much more. At least this bit is blessedly short. And there is, again, no nudity.

Not going to lie, these documentaries really f*cked me up. And if you havent watched them, *insert Shia LaBouf* JUST DO IT Okay but on a serious note, yes we are talking about the two documentaries/docuseries focused on the shitshow that was "WoodStock" 99. Just like Cat says, it doesn't even sound real.  Documentary/Docuseries that this episode is based off of Netflix: Trainwreck: Woodstock 99 HBO Max: Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage Like, subscribe, follow, y'all know the drill Share this shit with all of your friends. Don't be a weenie Follow all of us on social media tiktok.com/erica.vinyl instagram.com/ericas.vinvl instagram.com/cat.ut instagram.com/wearemhhn https://www.facebook.com/MusicHistoryonallichNote/

Nervously anticipating the jam-packed pre-recruitment workshops and recruiting schedules that are coming next month? We want to help you go into them prepared by knowing what you need to protect! For our last episode of Recruitment Takeover, Cassie is diving into what it looks like to protect your health, time, and sisterhood throughout recruitment and how that will leave you READY to welcome new members or join a chapter and not burnt out by the time bid day rolls around. Looking for support in your season of sorority? Potential New Members! Enroll in our course to set realistic expectations & have your sorority questions answered: https://hersororityjourney.teachable.com/p/path-1-of-the-her-sorority-journey-course Recruiters & Recruitment Counselors! Enroll in our course to process past frustration & gain perspective before welcoming new members into your chapter & community: https://hersororityjourney.teachable.com/p/path-2-of-the-her-sorority-journey-course

A diner meeting; Crash an investment party; Time for new clothing. The party meets up at a diner after being bailed out by Virginia and Galazar, and receive instructions for their next task -- infiltrating Lillian's investment party. The group does some shopping with Siesta.  Beatdown City -- Darren Curtis; Maze -- Presence of Music; Den -- Presence of Music; Goodnight -- Presence of Music; After the Disaster Pt 2 -- One Man Symphony,  CCBY4.0; Store -- Presence of Music; City of Duisburg -- One Man Symphony,  CCBY4.0

The French presidential election is heating up with the first round this past Sunday setting up a showdown in two weeks between French President Emmanuel Macron and far-right challenger Marine Le Pen. Yannis Palaiologos, Kathimerini's Brussels correspondent, joins our host Thanos Davelis with the latest analysis on France's presidential elections, which NATO members, the EU, and the broader West are nervously watching.You can read the articles we discuss on our podcast here:Εκλογές στη Γαλλία – Άμεση ανάλυση: Η ανάσα Μακρόν και η τελική αναμέτρησηNerves for EU and NATO as Le Pen heads into second round clash with MacronFrench election: Macron v Le Pen - two visions for presidencyMacron vs Le Pen and the West's shortcomingsGreece speeds up gas exploration to help reduce Russia relianceTurkey detains former Kurdish party officials for PKK linksTurkey Ramps Up Pressure on Kurdish Party With New Arrests

Episode 31 - Women, Step Aside (Men, Step Up)Over 170 years have passed since the feminist movement began, and its influence on western culture has been far-reaching.  One area in particular that it has affected is the role of men and women within marriage.  On that score, the results of the movement have arguably been unfavorable--for both men and women.  Disentangling ourselves from those negative, often hidden influences on our relationships can be extremely difficult.Nervously taking the mantle of motivator in this, his most controversial episode to date, Chad tells he and his wife's personal story.  Ben comes along for the ride in his van down by the river, as the two unpack the inherent tension in men and women's roles in modern matrimony.  Can a woman actually "have it all", meaning a fulfilling career AND the joys of being a mother?  What does it mean for a man's leadership in the home if his wife is the breadwinner?  What does it mean for a mother to be the heart of the home, and is a woman more "free", or less "free", when staying at home with children?SHOW NOTES:Apropos (definition for Ben) - adjective, meaning "very appropriate to a particular situation"Book Reference:  "The Case for Patriarchy" by Timothy J. Gordon  https://www.amazon.com/Case-Patriarchy-Timothy-Gordon/dp/1622828402 Scripture reference:  (Ephesians 5)  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians%205&version=NIV Study Reference:  "The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness"  https://www.nber.org/papers/w14969 

Do you remember your first confession? Nervously waiting your turn to mumble your sins of pushing your sibling and stealing candy, before fumbling your way through the Act of Contrition? Good times, good times. Whether that was the last time you received the sacrament of Reconcilation, or whether you go every week, this is a podcast you don't want to miss! Lent is a great time to hit the confessional, but before you get in line, there's plenty you can do beforehand. Nate and Gomer are here to dive into the tips of making a great confession as well as answer some big questions you might have -- is complaining a sin? What's mortal and what's venial? How many venial sins equal one mortal one? Is temptation itself a sin? If you've ever struggled with feeling like you made a "good" or honest confession, or struggled with making progress AFTER your confession, this is the episode for you. With a few weeks of Lent remaining, listen through this podcast and then go receive God's grace in the confessional - you won't regret it!

On this episode, we talk about how the war in Ukraine is affecting the Faroese economy and people. We'll also get what may be our final COVID update, talk about Faroese bootlegging, and congratulate a bunch of people who won a bunch of prizes. You can find the Danish website with the COVID entry requirements here.  Wanna see the artist's rendering of the new apartment block in Runavik? Of course you do. Here they are.