Podcasts about magnetic marriage

Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns? Whether it's constant worry about abandonment or a tendency to keep people at arm's length, these behaviors - known as attachment styles - aren't set in stone. In part one of this two-part series, therapist Tony Overbay examines the science of attachment theory, tracing its development from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's pioneering "Strange Situation" experiment to current research demonstrating how people can actually change their relationship patterns. Through clinical examples and accessible explanations, Tony breaks down how early experiences with caregivers create blueprints that influence adult relationships - and more importantly, why these patterns can evolve. Tony explains how understanding attachment style connects to emotional maturity and self-awareness. Listeners will learn about different attachment patterns, how they manifest in daily life, and why these early-developed patterns aren't a reflection of personal failure - they emerged before conscious choice was possible. This episode provides the foundation for a deeper exploration of attachment style change and relationship transformation. For anyone dealing with trust issues, abandonment fears, or struggles with emotional intimacy, the discussion offers concrete insights into becoming more secure in relationships. Part 2 will delve into specific strategies for building secure attachments and showing up differently in relationships. As Tony often says, "You're not broken, you're human" - and humans have a remarkable capacity for growth. 00:00 Welcome Back and New Beginnings 00:28 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 02:05 Personal Struggles and Emotional Growth 04:40 Podcast Updates and Future Plans 06:59 Introduction to Attachment Theory 10:06 The Strange Situation Experiment 12:28 Attachment Styles and Their Impact 17:25 Early Childhood and Relationship Templates 21:04 Avoidant Attachment in Adulthood 22:07 The Painful Dance of Intimacy 23:52 The Role of Fathers in Attachment 24:37 Presence and Radiance: A Father's Influence 26:18 Emotional Safety and Consistency 29:31 Navigating Emotions and Independence 39:53 Challenges of Absent Fathers 44:12 Healing Attachment Wounds 44:33 Conclusion and Next Steps Find more from Tony Overbay: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@virtualcouch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/virtual.couch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft/ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998 Website: https://www.tonyoverbay.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/virtualcouch To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Have you ever wondered why your aging parent suddenly needs to arrive an hour early for everything? Or why, after knowing them your entire life, they suddenly appear to be trying to exert control and order at a level that you've never experienced? In today's episode of The Virtual Couch podcast, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes us on a fascinating journey through the human brain, starting with the incredible story of Phineas Gage - the man who survived an iron rod through his head and lived to tell the tale (though he wasn't quite the same person afterward). From there, he dives into something most all of us are impacted by, either directly or through someone that we care about - anxiety. But not just any anxiety - we're talking about why our caveman's brains are still trying to protect us from tigers in the parking lot and how this shows up differently as we age. Tony breaks down the fundamental differences between normal aging, dementia, and Alzheimer's in a way that finally makes sense. Tony then breaks down a listener's email about their father's increasingly anxious behaviors. Tony unpacks powerful tools for handling these delicate family situations. Tony introduces the acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) principle of psychological flexibility (think yoga for your emotions) and shares David Schnarch's “4 Points of Balance” to becoming more differentiated, which helps you maintain your sanity while staying connected to those you love. Tony explains Schnarch's 'crucible' as the transformative space where relationships grow or crack under pressure. Whether you're dealing with an aging parent, a challenging relationship, or just trying to understand why people do what they do, this episode offers the “why” behind our anxious and controlling behaviors and practical ways to navigate life's complicated relationships without losing yourself. 00:00 The Incredible Story of Phineas Gage 04:04 Introduction to the Virtual Couch 05:38 Listener's Email: Concerns About Aging Parent 07:40 Understanding Anxiety and Its Evolution 14:57 Distinguishing Dementia and Alzheimer's 17:33 Coping with Aging and Anxiety 24:50 Practical Advice for Managing Anxiety 24:59 Reframing Perspectives 25:09 Empathy and Understanding 25:25 Intentional Conversations 25:55 Meeting Halfway 26:12 Choosing Your Battles 26:54 Boundaries vs Ultimatums 27:12 Psychological Reactance 30:22 Differentiation and Emotional Autonomy 32:57 Four Points of Balance 38:30 Constructing Your Crucible 44:43 Final Thoughts and Takeaways To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT explores themes of faith journeys, parental expectations, communication, differentiation, and self-discovery through an allegorical story titled 'Off the Beaten Path: Finding Love and Self in a World of Conformity.' The narrative follows a young man named Ansel, who grapples with societal expectations, familial pressures, and his journey toward self-acceptance. Through meaningful encounters and introspection, Ansel learns to embrace his individuality amidst traditional, religious, and cultural norms. This episode also highlights the importance of personal integrity the challenges of navigating faith and family systems, and encourages listeners to explore their unique talents and values. Tony invites the audience to share their stories and questions about their own faith and family journeys for future episodes. 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:17 “Not My Job” song by: Riley Hope 02:48 The Power of Writing and Poetry 05:26 Exploring Allegories 06:44 Off the Beaten Path: Ansul's Journey Begins 12:14 Ansul's Struggles and Self-Discovery 16:17 Meeting Maris: A New Connection 17:52 Seeking Guidance: Ansul's Dilemma 18:31 Ansul's Realization and Self-Acceptance 19:00 Building a Relationship with Maris 20:42 Themes of the Allegory: Individuality vs. Conformity 22:32 Exploring Faith and Doubt 22:53 Coming of Age and Self-Discovery 23:30 Truth, Knowledge, and Intergenerational Expectations 25:34 Curiosity, Love, and Acceptance 26:38 Personal Growth Through Discomfort 27:19 Diversity of Thought and Self-Acceptance 29:24 Navigating Difficult Journeys of Faith and Family 31:00 Encouragement for Personal Growth and Authenticity 33:02 Conclusion and Call to Action To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

McKinley “Mackie” Overbay, host of “The Mind, the Mirror, and Me,” and Tony Overbay, LMFT, return after a significant hiatus to discuss numerous life updates, including their recent move to Arizona and Mackie's health journey with Hashimoto's disease. They delve into the struggles and triumphs of losing 55 pounds, the importance of self-love, and the necessity of balancing mind and body health. The conversation touches on the challenges of diet, exercise, meditation, and maintaining consistency. It's a candid look at personal transformation, resilience, and the importance of understanding and caring for oneself amidst life's unpredictable challenges. 00:00 Introduction and Opening Banter 00:25 Welcome Back and New Beginnings 01:18 Social Media and Personal Updates 03:21 Discussing Past Episodes and Themes 05:25 Weight Loss Journey and Health Challenges 07:25 Understanding Hashimoto's Disease 11:21 Reflections on Self-Worth and Body Image 14:20 Diet Changes and Lifestyle Adjustments 24:18 Thyroid Health and Medical Insights 27:56 Understanding Perimenopause and Hormonal Changes 28:16 Unexpected Balloon Incident 28:54 Recognizing and Addressing Health Issues 30:39 The Journey to Diagnosis 32:13 Lifestyle Changes and Their Impact 34:21 The Importance of Consistency and Motivation 35:51 Managing Inflammation and Dietary Adjustments 37:21 Exercise and Weight Loss Strategies 39:37 The Role of Meditation and Mindfulness 48:14 Embracing Self-Worth and Positivity 53:02 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Do you find yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own? Have you ever wondered if being "too kind" could actually be harmful to your relationships and well-being? In today's crossover episode - Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, explores the complex concept of pathological kindness in relationships. Through a listener's letter from 'Cleo,' Tony delves into the challenges faced by those who prioritize others' needs to their detriment, often rooted in childhood experiences of being the family peacemaker. Cleo's story highlights issues with her emotionally inconsistent partner, Ray, unveiling the struggles of living with someone emotionally immature or narcissistic. Tony discusses recognizing these patterns, including the role of cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding in maintaining unhealthy relationships. He explores how highly sensitive people (HSPs) may be particularly vulnerable to these dynamics. The episode emphasizes the importance of developing a stable core identity, setting boundaries, and balancing kindness with self-care. Tony also touches on the challenges of breaking free from intermittent reinforcement in relationships and recognizing and trusting one's own perceptions. He stresses the role of therapy and self-awareness in breaking free from unhealthy cycles and fostering emotionally mature relationships while also offering hope to those who recognize themselves as the emotionally immature partner and want to change. 00:00 Introduction and Podcast Promotion 01:19 Introducing Cleo's Story 03:16 Cleo's Relationship Struggles 10:38 Understanding Pathological Kindness 16:28 The Impact of Pathological Kindness 21:36 Balancing Kindness and Self-Care 25:09 Exploring Self-Reliance and Its Pitfalls 25:24 The Dual Nature of Optimism 25:40 Understanding Humility and Self-Deprecation 26:26 The Complexities of Honesty 27:09 Patience vs. Passivity 27:24 Competence and Arrogance 28:00 Cleo's Relationship with Ray 29:04 The Struggle of Highly Sensitive People 29:48 The Challenge of Leaving Toxic Relationships 33:23 The Cognitive Dissonance and Trauma Bonding 45:04 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries 46:03 Encouragement for Personal Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that g

Tony talks with musician Ian McConnell. Ian kicks off his “Primary Source” tour this Thursday, August 15th, in Dallas, TX, and will visit 25 more spots around the country (tickets for Ian's “Primary Source” tour can be purchased through his website https://www.ianmcconnellmusic.com). Ian opens up about his journey in the music industry, touring experiences, and personal struggles. They discuss everything from car troubles and pandemic life to faith deconstruction and mental health therapy. Ian shares his approach to writing meaningful songs that resonate with listeners, his views on human purpose, and the emotional highs and lows of social media success. The episode offers a deep dive into Ian's creative process and the challenges of maintaining authenticity and self-care in a demanding industry. Tune in for an introspective and engaging conversation on living a good life, mental health, and the power of music. You can find Ian on all popular social media platforms. 00:00 Introduction and Casual Conversation 00:38 Desert Life and Moving to Phoenix 01:20 Touring Experiences and Plans 02:59 Existential Crisis and Songwriting 04:09 Faith Deconstruction and Personal Growth 06:45 The Pursuit of Happiness and Validation 15:41 Nashville and Country Music Journey 24:09 Pandemic Challenges and TikTok Success 25:35 Diving into Music and Social Media 26:30 Navigating Roommate Tensions and Relationships 27:26 Exploring Emotional Immaturity and People-Pleasing 30:50 The Rush of Social Media Fame 31:40 Creating Music Independently 34:02 Reflecting on Mental Health and Therapy 35:23 Releasing Music Like a TV Show 37:34 Analyzing Lyrics and Personal Experiences 45:56 The Joy and Nerves of Performing Live 46:57 Wrapping Up and Future Plans To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Understanding the interplay between expectations and emotions can not only help you stay more grounded, but it can also significantly impact your relationships in a positive way. In this episode, Tony delves into the art of managing expectations and emotions to foster healthier connections with others. Tony explores the detrimental effects of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as pornography, food, or overworking and provides valuable resources for those struggling, including his Path Back recovery group and upcoming emotional maturity courses. He breaks down the intricate relationship between expectations and emotions, explaining how they influence our reactions and interactions. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, flexibility, and clear communication in navigating these dynamics. Through engaging narratives, Tony illustrates how expectations and emotions can either work in harmony or clash, offering practical advice on emotional regulation and psychological flexibility. Tune in to learn how to manage your inner experiences better and cultivate more fulfilling relationships. 00:00 Introduction to the Virtual Couch Podcast 00:36 Exploring the Path Back Recovery Group 01:02 The Complex Dynamics of Shame and Relationships 01:44 Navigating Emotional Needs and Relationship Dynamics 04:24 Understanding Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms 08:09 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Tools for Growth 09:42 Expectations vs. Emotions: A Deep Dive 23:17 Navigating Discomfort and Unmet Expectations 23:48 The Healing Dialogue: Emotions Meet Expectations 25:08 Personal Journey: From Tech to Therapy 27:39 Embracing Discomfort for Growth 35:39 Managing Expectations to Foster Emotional Well-being 38:17 The Power of Acceptance and Psychological Flexibility 41:16 Emotional Regulation: Techniques and Tools 43:50 Concluding Thoughts on Growth and Self-Compassion To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the critical role of differentiation in personal development and relationship growth. Sharing the story of a couple, Lisa and Mike, Tony illustrates how unresolved childhood dynamics can lead to emotional stagnation and superficial interactions in adulthood. He delves into the concepts of differentiation and emotional maturity, drawing on the theories of psychologists Murray Bowen and David Schnarch to explain how individuals can maintain their sense of self while fostering deep, meaningful connections with others. Tony offers actionable insights on embracing individuality, managing emotional reactivity, and the importance of self-soothing for achieving a balanced and fulfilling relationship dynamic. 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Introductions and Announcements 01:20 Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Lisa and Mike's Story 04:27 The Dynamics of Disagreements: Analyzing Conflict Patterns 07:40 Embracing Discomfort for Growth: A Therapeutic Perspective 12:59 Understanding Differentiation: A Deep Dive into Emotional Maturity 18:52 From Bowen to Schnarch: Exploring Theories of Differentiation 22:20 Applying Differentiation: Real-Life Implications and Strategies 24:20 Breaking Familial Patterns and Emotional Systems 25:00 The Impact of Parental Emotions on Children 27:05 Exploring Schnarch's Concepts on Differentiation 28:19 Applying Differentiation in Relationships 32:24 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Self-Work 35:24 Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Individual Growth 39:47 Embracing Differentiation for a Fulfilling Relationship 43:22 Practical Takeaways for Personal and Relationship Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony shares his recent experiences with change, moving, and personal growth. Tony discusses the unexpected lessons learned from moving out of his home after 25 years, selling items on Facebook Marketplace, dealing with moving trucks, and the psychology of facing unknown challenges. He reflects on how accepting and navigating through the discomfort of change has provided opportunities for growth and understanding. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, making decisions amidst uncertainty, and the value of experiencing life's twists and turns. This episode encourages listeners to embrace change as a pathway to self-discovery and personal development. Tony references the article "Your Brain Thinks Change is a Good as Rest" by E. Paul Zehr, Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/black-belt-brain/202210/your-brain-thinks-change-is-as-good-as-rest 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: A Dive into Change and Personal Growth 00:39 The Therapist's Couch: More Than Just Furniture 01:59 Embracing Change: Personal Stories and Professional Insights 02:20 The Move to Arizona: A Catalyst for Reflection and Growth 06:41 Understanding Fatigue: Physical and Mental Aspects 22:47 The Power of Discomfort in Personal Growth 25:03 Procrastination and the Promise of Change 25:24 Exploring Fatigue: Internal vs. External Causes 27:16 The Personal Journey of Embracing Change 28:06 The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness 30:19 Moving Adventures: Decluttering and Preparing 34:26 Navigating the Real Estate and Moving Process 39:14 Learning from the Unexpected: Sales and Acceptance 46:53 Reflections on Growth, Decisions, and Mental Health To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony navigates the intricate balance that defines successful partnerships: the harmony between deep emotional connections with your partner and the pursuit of individual growth. Drawing from the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Crucible Approach, with an emphasis on self-differentiation, he shares his own growth experience as a couples therapist over the past 15 years as he has learned how these two aspects—often seen as opposing forces—can complement and enhance each other within a relationship and provide therapists with a more robust toolkit to use when working with couples with a variety of attachment styles, and backgrounds. Tony explains that facilitating relationship growth is akin to performing a delicate balancing act, where maintaining a close bond with your partner and fostering personal development are both crucial. EFT offers insights into creating a nurturing and supportive environment, encouraging couples to open up and strengthen their emotional ties. On the other hand, the Crucible Approach emphasizes the importance of individuality and self-growth, urging partners to preserve their unique identities even as they grow closer together. Tony shares practical advice and strategies for couples at any stage of their relationship, aiming to make the concepts of emotional connection and personal growth accessible and actionable. He shares how to cultivate a relationship that embraces unity and individual strength, leading to a more dynamic, supportive, and fulfilling partnership. 00:00 Welcome and Introduction: The Journey of a Therapist 00:39 Diving Into Emotional Architects: A New Approach to Men's Emotional Growth 01:53 Exploring Healthy vs. Unhealthy Egos in Relationships 05:56 The Evolution of Couples Therapy: From No Secrets Policy to Emotional Honesty 12:19 Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) vs. The Crucible Approach: A Therapist's Perspective 22:09 Blending EFT and The Crucible Approach: A New Paradigm in Couples Therapy 30:57 Attachment Theory and EFT: Understanding Relationship Dynamics 33:05 Exploring Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples 40:19 Deep Dive into Crucible Approach: A New Perspective on Therapy 40:51 Differentiation and Personal Growth: A Crucial Element in Relationships 44:38 The Crucible Method: Transforming Sexual Intimacy and Personal Growth 47:08 Facing Conflict Head-On: The Crucible Approach to Relationship Challenges 49:54 Applying Differentiation to EFT Concepts: A Comparative Analysis 01:08:48 Conclusion: Embracing Growth and Self-Discovery in Relationships To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Part 2 of Tony's dive into how narcissism and emotional immaturity contribute to the different attachment styles that we show up with in adulthood. Continuing to read from the article “Narcissistic Personality and Attachment,” https://www.attachmentproject.com/psychology/narcissistic-personality/ Tony delves into the significance of secure attachment and its impact on children's development and adult relationships. The discussion begins with a nostalgic look at the importance of having a supportive figure during childhood, highlighting how a 'superhero' figure can influence one's ability to trust and form healthy relationships. The conversation then transitions into how those without secure attachments in childhood might struggle with narcissistic traits or emotional immaturity in adulthood. Tony explores different attachment styles, including avoidant, anxious, and disorganized, and their connection to narcissistic behaviors and traits. By emphasizing the role of self-reflection, understanding intrinsic values, and committed action through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Tony offers a pathway toward overcoming challenges related to emotional immaturity and narcissism. The episode is a comprehensive look at how early attachment styles contribute to adult relationship dynamics, with insights on possible paths for healing and growth. 00:00 Introduction to the Episode 00:09 The Concept of a Superhero in Childhood 02:06 The Importance of Secure Attachment 02:36 The Role of Parents in Providing Secure Attachment 03:28 The Impact of Secure Attachment in Adult Relationships 05:08 The Power of Vulnerability in Relationships 05:53 Understanding Different Attachment Styles 08:33 The Journey of Emotional Growth and Awakening 15:51 The Connection Between Narcissism and Attachment Styles 16:29 The Impact of Overindulgence and Authoritarian Parenting on Narcissism 23:31 The Role of Abuse in the Development of Narcissism 29:39 The Complex Relationship Between Narcissism and Attachment Styles 30:45 Understanding Anxious Attachment and Vulnerable Narcissism 31:14 Real-Life Example: Jamie's Case 32:31 Disorganized Attachment Style and Vulnerable Narcissism 32:52 The Role of Approval Seeking and Fear in Narcissism 33:23 Exploring Treatment Approaches for Narcissism 33:43 Disorganized Attachment and Vulnerable Narcissism: Common Ground and Differences 36:26 Case Study: Jordan and Casey 38:23 Avoidant Attachment Style and the Grandiose Narcissist 39:49 Similarities and Differences between Avoidant Attachment and Grandiose Narcissism 50:52 Treatment Approaches for Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 52:22 Wrapping Up: The Complexities of Narcissism and Attachment Styles Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon ([Amazon Link](https://amzn.to/49BYUCk)). In a candid admission, Tony shares his emotionally immature reaction upon discovering Kurt's book through a third party, revealing the concocted narratives in his head about their relationship, with Kurt unknowingly cast as the villain. The revelation of Tony's oversight in missing a crucial recording sent by Kurt months earlier brings to light the miscommunication that unwittingly altered their friendship dynamic. Peace is restored Through their conversation, and their bond of best friendship is reaffirmed. The discussion then shifts to Kurt's book, delving into the intricate concepts of ego and identity. They explore the notion of a healthy ego, the pervasive quest for validation, and how living for an identity differs fundamentally from living from an identity that has been validated by divine grace. Kurt highlights the identity paradox, suggesting that receiving grace allows us to extend it more freely. He references Carl Rogers, stating, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can begin to change." This acceptance is seen not as a form of apathy but as a mindful acknowledgment that paves the way for genuine personal transformation. Kurt deepens the conversation by asserting that recognizing our inherent validation from God enables us to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Him. This evolution occurs not because of our deeds but due to our intrinsic value and identity. 00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter 00:33 Discussing Kurt Francom's New Book 01:34 Exploring the Concept of Acceptance 02:20 Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Challenges 03:26 The Importance of Validation and Acceptance 04:59 Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome 06:25 The Role of Repentance in Personal Growth 08:13 Understanding the Impact of Misunderstanding God 10:00 The Power of Acceptance in Personal Transformation 12:06 The Journey of Repentance and Turning to God 13:42 Conclusion: The Power of Acceptance and Repentance 22:10 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact 22:42 The Role of Validation in Our Lives 23:37 The Struggle for Acceptance and Validation 24:42 The Power of God's Love and Validation 25:31 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Differentiation 26:48 The Importance of Embracing Change and Growth 28:03 The Role of Ego in Our Personal Development 28:38 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness 29:40 The Struggle with Validation and Recognition 30:07 The Journey of Writing a Book 31:21 The Power of Curiosity and Openness in Learning 32:20 The Role of Identity in Our Spiritual Journey 34:16 The Importance of Acceptance and Self-Respect 35:35 The Power of Differentiation and Self-Awareness 37:46 The Struggle with Defensive Narcissism 39:42 The Power of Acceptance and Self-Validation 41:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth 43:14 The Power of Humility and Self-Acceptance 44:06 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book 45:17 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression 45:55 The Importance of Embracing Change and Uncertainty 46:46 The Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-Love To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the misuse of self-help and philosophical principles by the narcissist and the emotionally immature. Tony uses Stoicism and the teachings of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca as a backdrop to show how seemingly safe topics like self-care, hobbies, and reasons to focus on the here and now can be weaponized and used as manipulation tactics by the emotionally immature and those who exhibit strong narcissistic traits and tendencies. Tony also provides examples of addressing these misinterpretations and outlines the importance of personal growth, self-reflection, and accepting one's imperfections to achieve a healthier mindset and better relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:20 The Importance of Newsletters and Updates 00:39 Exploring Narcissistic Traits and Self-Help Books 01:42 The Power of Self-Reflection and Emotional Maturity 02:48 The Misuse of Self-Help Tools and Philosophies 03:24 The Dangers of Misinterpreting Therapeutic Advice 04:24 Exploring the Interactions of Narcissistic Traits with Philosophies 04:36 The Role of Stoicism in Self-Improvement 05:04 The Fine Line Between Self-Improvement and Weaponizing Teachings 06:15 The Power of Self-Confrontation and Growth 07:57 The Concept of Muse in Personal Growth 08:26 The Importance of Listening and Self-Improvement 14:15 The Role of Stoicism in Personal Growth 25:13 Embracing Imperfections and Learning from Mistakes 26:02 The Story of Epictetus and His Teachings 27:23 Applying Stoic Philosophy in Real Life: Chris and Morgan's Dance Lessons 28:48 The Dangers of Weaponizing Stoic Philosophy 31:16 The Wisdom of Marcus Aurelius and Letting Go of Unnecessary Opinions 39:35 Applying Marcus Aurelius' Advice in Relationships: Jordan and Alex's Story 41:58 Understanding and Navigating Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism 44:55 Final Thoughts and Encouragement for Personal Growth Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch to discuss dealing with grief and loss. Marla is a new associate working with Tony. Marla received her master's degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University. She shares her passion for her work in mental health counseling and touches on her own personal experience about shifting from being a stay-at-home mom to a counselor following a divorce. Marla discusses her approach to dealing with grief and loss in clients, which she shares as an inescapable human experience. She elaborates on the stages of grief as proposed by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, shedding light on David Kessler's addition of the sixth stage, 'reconstruction/rebuilding'. Emphasizing the subjectivity of the grieving process, Marla recommends being compassionate, patient, and welcoming toward one's emotions throughout. She also talks about the role of religion and spirituality in helping individuals rebound quickly from grief due to the sense of community they provide. Marla and her husband, Nate Christensen, APCC, host the podcast “Working Change,” which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts or visit https://blubrry.com/workingchange. Marla has a few openings and can be reached directly at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Marla 00:22 Getting to Know Marla: Her Journey into Therapy 01:20 Marla's Early Years and Path to Therapy 02:20 Marla's Podcast and Mental Health Advocacy 03:08 Marla's Experience with Grief and Loss 04:11 The Impact of Life Experience on Therapy 05:58 Understanding Grief and Loss 08:50 The Stages of Grief 27:42 The Role of Religion and Spirituality in Grief 30:08 Final Thoughts and Advice on Navigating Grief To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony zooms in on emotional immaturity, grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, and how they affect relationships. He illustrates these concepts with hypothetical scenarios and emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between healthy ego and pathological defensive narcissism. He also briefly highlights how developing a healthy ego can contribute to personal growth and better relationships. Part two of this episode will dig deeper into the origin stories of narcissistic personality disorder and further explore the different attachment styles. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome to the Show 00:21 Understanding Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism 00:43 Exploring Attachment Styles and Narcissism 01:41 Real-Life Scenarios: Planning a Weekend Getaway 03:20 The Impact of Narcissism on Relationships 08:39 Introduction to Narcissism and Healthy Ego 12:28 Real-Life Scenarios: The Stay-at-Home Mom and the Emotionally Immature Husband 17:28 Healthy Ego vs Pathological Defensive Narcissism 22:16 Understanding the Healthy Ego 22:43 Pathological Defensive Narcissism 23:37 Personal Journey: From Software Marketing to Therapy 24:10 Finding Purpose and Building a Healthy Ego 25:40 Embracing Criticism and Personal Growth 27:06 The Role of Relationships in Personal Development 27:34 Reflecting on Past Experiences and Growth 30:44 Understanding Narcissism: Vulnerable and Grandiose 32:11 The Impact of Narcissism on Relationships 35:00 Differentiating Between Vulnerable Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity 44:31 Understanding the Origins of Narcissistic Personality Disorder 44:52 Closing Remarks and Preview of Part Two Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, offers an in-depth exploration of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and The Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA) to provide a fresh perspective on mindful parenting. The discussion centers around the transformative power of NHA's "Stand 1," which advocates for focusing energy on celebrating children's successes rather than engaging in negative behavior. Additionally, Tony explains the ACT principle of "acceptance," emphasizing the importance of embracing our present experiences without judgment to cultivate a compassionate and supportive family environment. The episode also delves into the Buddhist "First and Second Darts" metaphor, teaching parents how to mitigate distress by managing their reactions to challenging parenting situations. Through practical examples and strategies, Tony demonstrates how these principles can be applied to everyday challenges, such as defiance and fostering positive behaviors. By focusing on these core concepts, the episode aims to empower parents with actionable advice to strengthen their connections with their children, highlighting the critical role of presence and engagement in the parenting journey. 00:00 Introduction: A Letter from a Fan 00:37 The Journey of Parenting: Realizations and Challenges 02:41 The Power of Acceptance in Parenting 03:06 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Episode 415 03:27 The Overwhelm of Parenting: A Therapist's Perspective 05:19 The Nurtured Heart Approach: A Parenting Model 05:40 The Impact of Social Media on Parenting 12:03 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Parenting 15:52 Practical Scenarios: Applying the Nurtured Heart Approach and ACT 22:11 Embracing the Chaos: Nurtured Heart Approach and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 22:49 Understanding the Concept of First and Second Dart Reactions 23:25 Applying the First and Second Dart Concept in Parenting 27:12 The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Parenting 30:59 The Brain's Desire for Certainty and Avoidance of Discomfort 37:01 Embracing Uncertainty and Accepting Experiences 38:06 The Power of Living in the Present Moment 38:48 Final Thoughts and Takeaways Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25 . https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

This description and the show notes are brought to you directly from AI, Sydney, and I truly wouldn't sound so silly! This dialogue-based presentation dives deep into the complexities of mental health and interpersonal relationships. With therapy experiences, personal observations, and explored topics ranging from narcissism, ADHD, and addiction to marriage and parenting, Tony and his co-host Sydney guide the audience through poignant discussions. Key concerns include asserting oneself in relationships, dealing with alcoholics, recognizing psychopathic traits, and handling personal issues such as adult ADHD and depression. The conversation also delves into the potent combination of medicine and therapy while exploring the nuances of 'emotional baseline' and its elevation through the usage of medication. 00:04 Introduction and Welcome 00:44 Live Relationship Q&A: Narcissism, Marriage, Parenting, ADHD, Addiction 01:17 The Awkward Start of the Live Session 01:28 Casual Conversation: Therapy, Parenting, and Narcissism 02:02 Deep Dive into Narcissism and Relationships 02:41 Exploring the Human Magnet Syndrome 03:10 The Complexity of Narcissistic Relationships 03:25 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder 04:26 Transition to Reading Reddit Stories 04:51 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience 05:11 Humorous Interactions and Casual Banter 05:20 Discussion on ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity 06:35 Reading and Discussing Reddit Stories 07:17 Deeper Conversation on Narcissism and Relationships 08:45 Understanding Differentiation in Relationships 11:55 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion 12:33 Exploring ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 15:36 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 2 17:18 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 2 19:12 Understanding the Dynamics of Narcissistic Relationships 20:51 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 3 22:58 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 3 25:22 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 4 27:14 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 4 28:52 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 5 30:53 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 5 31:37 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 6 33:20 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 6 35:17 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 7 37:10 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 7 37:53 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 8 40:42 Continuation of Reddit Story Discussion: Part 8 42:52 Interactive Q&A with Live Audience: Part 9 36:55 Discussing Alcoholism and Addiction 37:24 Understanding Addictive Behaviors 38:20 The Role of Therapy in Addiction 42:18 Exploring the Concept of Micro Cheating 43:16 The Impact of Micro Cheating on Relationships 43:29 The Role of Authenticity in Relationships 45:08 Understanding Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity 47:01 The Connection Between Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Baseline 48:59 The Importance of Emotional Connection in Relationships 01:07:37 The Role of Medication in Mental Health 01:10:08 Closing Thoughts and Reflections Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into an article by Dr. Richard Friedman titled 'Plenty of People Could Quit Therapy Right Now.' Tony reads the article and comments in real-time, talking about the many different reasons people come to therapy, the importance of the therapist/client relationship, and what to do if you don't feel a connection with your therapist. He discusses why talk therapy works and provides additional personal insights, bringing in his background in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He shares some of the challenges he has with the more popular CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy modality. The discussion revolves around concepts like the potentially harmful effects of prolonged therapy when to consider ending therapy, and the possibility of 'therapy vacations'. Lastly, Tony underlines the importance of having a clear treatment plan, addressing the client's goals, and reinforcing the idea that progress is made when clients implement what they've learned in their day-to-day lives. 00:00 Introduction: The Clickbait Phenomenon 01:13 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Episode 413 01:36 The Power of Numerology: Understanding 413 02:40 The Magnetic Marriage: A Valentine's Special 03:55 The Art of Clickbait: A Deep Dive 04:55 The Case for Quitting Therapy: A Discussion 08:14 The Role of a Therapist: A Personal Perspective 09:43 Understanding Different Types of Therapists 12:01 The Case for Quitting Therapy: An Article Review 16:07 The Role of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 19:50 The End Goal of Therapy: Thriving on Your Own 20:48 Understanding Emotions and Interactions 21:27 The Role of Therapy in Emotional Processing 21:36 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: An Overview 22:00 The Power of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 23:05 Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Its Impact 25:39 The Importance of Trust in Therapy 26:28 The Role of Therapy in Dealing with Trauma 28:01 The Long-Term Benefits of Therapy 28:09 The Challenges of Accessing Therapy 28:20 The Potential Risks of Over-Reliance on Therapy 29:51 The Role of Therapy in Personal Growth 31:16 The Importance of Finding the Right Therapist 38:23 The Role of Medication in Therapy 38:52 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Therapy 41:37 The Benefits of Taking a Break from Therapy 42:35 Final Thoughts on the Role and Impact of Therapy Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony discusses "Popcorn Moments" - those crucial instances where choosing not to react to narcissistic or emotionally immature behavior can be the most powerful response. This episode dives into how strategic non-engagement can be vital for personal growth and self-realization. Through listener emails and expert discussion, Tony sheds light on the significance of these moments in understanding and dealing with manipulative dynamics. You will learn about the importance of recognizing gaslighting, the empowerment that comes from setting personal boundaries, and the liberating process of differentiation. Tony offers advice on how to turn potentially draining interactions into opportunities for learning autonomy and fostering emotional resilience. Join Tony as he explores the transformative potential of observing rather than participating in the emotional chaos often presented by narcissists. Discover how creating "Popcorn Moments" can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and help you navigate your way to people who can provide healthier relationship dynamics. 00:01 Introduction and Listener Emails 01:52 Understanding Narcissistic Traits and Emotional Immaturity 03:57 Personal Story: Emotional Growth and Consistency 11:06 Exploring Popcorn Moments and Gaslighting 13:00 Listener Poem and Reflection 18:12 Deep Dive into Popcorn Moments 20:20 Understanding Narcissistic Tactics 21:15 Recognizing Gaslighting and Manipulation 21:50 The Power of Popcorn Moments 22:17 Shifting Dynamics and Gaining Empowerment 22:40 The Importance of Boundaries and Self-Respect 23:10 Moving Forward and Beyond Narcissistic Games 23:54 The Five Foolproof Formulas for Navigating Narcissistic Nonsense 24:05 The Importance of Self-Care and Emotional Baseline 25:45 Understanding and Dealing with Gaslighting 27:06 Exiting Unproductive Conversations 28:03 Mastering the Art of Boundary Setting 30:32 The Myth of the Aha Moment 31:40 The Power of Popcorn Moments Revisited 34:36 The Power of Differentiation 36:09 The Role of Differentiation in the Five Foolproof Formulas 43:47 Conclusion: The Journey of Becoming Differentiated Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, tackles the timeless question, "Why do we care so much about what others think?" Offering insights on halting the cycle of worrying over others' opinions, Tony emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself (and ponders, "Who am I, really?"). He explores finding that sweet spot between valuing the world's input and heeding our inner voice—the one who truly knows us best. Tony illustrates that while the opinions of others can offer some worth, there's a limit to their significance. Ultimately, we have the fantastic opportunity to be captains of our ships, navigating through rough seas and basking in sunny skies alike. Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ 00:00 Introduction: The Big Question 00:46 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 00:57 Therapeutic Tools: Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 01:48 Valentine's Day Special: Mini Course and Game 02:53 Why Do We Care So Much About What Others Think? 11:20 The Power of Projection and Shadow Self 17:06 Understanding and Accepting Your Shadow Self 20:18 Setting Healthy Boundaries 21:40 You Are Not the Center of the Universe 22:16 Understanding Our Place in the Universe 23:04 Exploring the Concept of Solipsism 24:27 The Reality of Other People's Existence 25:45 The Impact of Caring Too Much About Others' Opinions 26:59 The Importance of Authenticity and Individuality 28:48 The Consequences of Worrying About Others' Opinions 30:11 Trusting Your Instincts and Navigating Life 32:56 Balancing External Advice with Internal Compass 35:55 Understanding the Persona and Authenticity 42:38 Embracing Your Whole Self and Authentic Connections 43:34 Conclusion: The Value of Self-Understanding and Authenticity

Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the hidden dynamics and assigned roles within dysfunctional and narcissistic family systems. The podcast outlines the roles of the Enabler, the Hero, the Scapegoat, the Lost Child, and the Mascot, all of whom are developed as coping mechanisms to manage family stress and chaos. Each role is reviewed in depth, including the implications for the individual's development, identity, and potential for later life challenges and relationships. The episode also emphasizes the importance of recognizing these roles, seeking therapeutic support, and redefining one's identity beyond these imposed familial expectations. 00:00 Introduction and Riddle 01:07 Understanding the Role You Play 01:15 Welcome to Episode 106: Uncovering Narcissistic Family Dynamics 01:42 The Concept of a Perfect Family 04:08 The Impact of Dysfunctional Families on Children 11:49 The Role of the Enabler in Dysfunctional Families 12:13 Denise's Story: A Case Study 15:22 Understanding Family Roles and Dynamics 16:19 The Enabler: A Deep Dive 21:07 The Concept of an Old Soul in Psychology 22:01 The Bittersweet Compliment: Acknowledging Resilience and Sacrifice 22:21 The Hero: The Lead Actor in a Dysfunctional Family 23:50 The Golden Child: The Hero's Struggle 27:01 The Scapegoat: The Misunderstood Hero 29:58 The Lost Child: The Unseen and Unheard 36:31 The Mascot: The Family's Beacon of Light and Laughter 39:02 Reflections: Understanding the Complex Roles in Dysfunctional Families 43:24 The Journey Towards Healing and Change 44:48 Conclusion: Transcending the Roles and Writing Your Own Narrative Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony shares the story of Hudson and Bailey, a couple working towards improving their marriage, particularly around communication patterns and how they deal with conflict. The episode focuses on the couple's struggle with common relationship issues that have resulted in miscommunication and misunderstandings. Tony outlines key behavioral models and strategies such as his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation, his “pre-pillar” based on the concepts of Marshall Rosenberg's “Non-violent communication” techniques, he talks about boundaries vs. ultimatums, differentiation (ultimately it's a “me thing,”) and goes over his way to “hold the assertive frame.” Tony also addresses handling post-argument anxiety and practicing emotional maturity. The episode aims to provide viewers with practical solutions to commonplace marital challenges and ways to navigate through them. This episode is sponsored by Tony's updated “Magnetic Marriage” course. Sign up for his newsletter at http://tonyoverbay.com for more information. 00:00 Introduction and Background of Hudson and Bailey 00:26 The Importance of Effective Communication in Relationships 00:45 Understanding the Dynamics of Hudson and Bailey's Relationship 01:56 A Pivotal Argument: Unpacking the Communication Breakdown 05:54 The Aftermath: Dealing with Post-Argument Anxiety 08:03 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 08:45 Addressing Hudson and Bailey's Specific Concerns 12:03 Strategies for Resolving Arguments and Managing Anxiety 23:06 The Role of Mindfulness in Navigating Relationship Challenges 24:51 The Power of Mindfulness and Meditation 25:34 Understanding the Concept of Differentiation 26:12 The Role of Emotions in Communication 27:52 The Importance of Objective Observations in Communication 33:40 The Concept of Holding the Assertive Frame 34:45 Understanding and Managing Communication Breakdowns 38:01 The Role of Emotional Maturity in Relationships 43:23 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Growth 48:18 Conclusion and Final Thoughts To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the impact of narcissistic or emotionally immature parents on their children. Drawing from a personal letter sent in by a listener, as well as clinical cases and research, Tony explores the hallmarks of narcissistic and emotionally immature parenting and how these behaviors shape children's emotional development and future relationships. This episode emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and adjustment in parenting to break harmful patterns and create secure attachments. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:10 Understanding Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents 00:27 Promoting the Host's Other Platforms and Activities 01:22 Introducing the Concept of Narcissist Immunity 02:12 Personal Story of Dealing with Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents 03:09 The Impact of Narcissistic Immunity on Personal Relationships 04:54 The Role of Emotional Maturity in Parenting 12:32 Understanding the Difference Between Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents 18:33 Introducing Carl's Story: Growing Up with a Narcissistic Mother and Emotionally Immature Father 22:29 The Impact of Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Parents on Carl's Life 26:33 The Role of Memory and Confabulation in Narcissistic and Emotionally Immature Behavior 28:14 The Fear of Abandonment in Narcissistic Relationships 28:46 Understanding Carl's Story: A Case Study 29:34 The Impact of Parental Expectations on Children 29:42 The Role of Emotional Regulation in Parenting 30:22 The Journey to Self-Acceptance: Carl's Story 30:58 The Power of Whole Object Relations in Therapy 32:08 The Influence of Childhood Experiences on Career Choices 35:27 The Impact of Narcissistic Parents on Children 44:13 The Struggle to Love the Real Child: A Parent's Challenge 47:54 The Emotional Consequences of Unmet Expectations 52:26 The Role of Empathy in Parenting 53:24 The Importance of Healthy Relationship Patterns 56:08 Conclusion: The Journey to Secure Attachment Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony tackles the topic of emotional whiplash in narcissistic relationships. He explores how people can feel loved and appreciated one moment and then demeaned and dismissed the next by a narcissistic partner, leading to confusion and emotional turmoil. Using the story of Sarah and Mike, he unpacks this unpredictable and damaging dynamic. Tony also explains concepts like whole object relations and object constancy and how they become compromised in emotionally immature relationships. He finally provides a broad range of personal experiences from his listeners, further illustrating the impact of emotional whiplash in people's lives. 00:00 Introduction and Topic Presentation 00:23 Understanding Emotional Whiplash 00:37 Real-Life Example: Sarah and Mike's Story 04:26 Concepts of Whole Object Relations and Object Constancy 05:32 Narcissistic Emotional Whiplash 06:14 Impact of Emotional Whiplash on Relationships 07:05 Understanding Mike's Emotional Immaturity 12:18 Sarah's Struggles and Emotional Whiplash 16:49 Real-Life Examples of Emotional Whiplash 36:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony takes inspiration from Carolyn Steber's article, "Is Everyone Out Here Lying To Their Therapist," https://www.bustle.com/wellness/lying-to-therapist using it as a muse (and explaining what a muse is) to explore the benefits and challenges of therapy from both the client's and therapist's viewpoints. He delves into primary and secondary emotions, highlighting how humor and anger often serve as secondary emotions. Tony also unpacks the origin of the "what's wrong with me" mindset, explaining how children internalize emotions, leading to a reliance on external validation in adulthood. The episode concludes with insightful discussions on neuroplasticity, implicit memory, and the significant benefits of being honest with your therapist. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:41 Engaging with the Audience: Social Media and Live Q&A 01:58 The Power of Muse and Self-Reflection 03:45 Exploring the Article: Is Everyone Lying to Their Therapist? 04:07 Understanding the Role of a Therapist 06:12 The Science Behind Talk Therapy 14:18 The Role of Humor in Therapy 17:47 Understanding Primary and Secondary Emotions 24:32 Understanding Secondary Emotions 24:52 Exploring Anger and Humor as Secondary Emotions 25:31 The Role of Childhood Experiences in Shaping Emotions 26:38 The Impact of Humor as a Coping Mechanism 28:27 The Power of Neuroplasticity and Implicit Memory 29:23 The Influence of Environment on Emotional Tendencies 30:04 The Role of Humor in Therapy Sessions 30:31 The Importance of Honesty in Therapy 32:02 Understanding the Role of Validation in Therapy 37:54 The Power of Neuroplasticity in Changing Emotional Responses 39:57 The Role of Therapists and Coaches in Emotional Growth 40:08 Understanding the Importance of Comfort and Trust in Therapy 44:04 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

If you say “it” the right way, will the narcissist ever get “it” whatever “it” is? Tony introduces his 'Five Foolproof Formulas for Navigating Narcissistic Nonsense,' which helps maintain emotional stability and a sense of self in challenging relationships. Tony also critically analyzes a passage from the book 'Rethinking Narcissism' by Dr. Craig Malkin, where he finds a logical inconsistency that might give false hope to 'pathologically kind persons' who constantly try to induce 'aha moments' in their narcissistic partners. He also highlights the concept of differentiation of self and its importance in maintaining one's emotional stability and sense of self in the face of challenging dynamics in relationships with narcissistic individuals. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:45 Understanding the Impact of Stress on Physical Health 02:36 Upcoming Topics and Listener Engagement 05:23 Exploring the Concept of Narcissism 06:09 Dissecting a Book Passage on Narcissism 08:47 The Five Foolproof Formulas for Navigating Narcissistic Nonsense 15:52 Understanding Healthy Ego and Pathological Defensive Narcissism 17:07 Analyzing a Book on Narcissism 22:58 Contradictions in Narcissism Advice 24:53 Understanding the Power of Self-Blame 25:30 The Pathologically Kind Person and Their Burden of Responsibility 26:54 The Struggle for Control in Relationships 28:16 Personal Story: The Impact of Powerlessness 34:42 The Importance of Differentiation in Relationships 36:51 The Dangers of Emotional Inconsistency 40:06 The Reality of Expressing Feelings to a Narcissist 47:11 The Role of Differentiation in Dealing with Narcissists 54:24 Conclusion: Knowing When to Engage and When to Step Back Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Did you know there are several different types of rest beyond just sleeping? Coming from a 'we don't know what we don't know' standpoint, today's episode has the potential to be both a game-changer and life-changing as we unveil how identifying and fulfilling these diverse types of rest can revolutionize your health, happiness, and productivity. Tony Overbay, LMFT, interviews Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith about her book 'Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity' (https://amzn.to/3TFp6GZ). They discuss the critical distinction between sleep and rest, amplified through Dr. Saundra's 'Seven Types of Rest' framework. Dr. Saundra shares the seven types of rest she has found lacking in the lives of those she encounters in her clinical practice and research - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, sensory, social, and creative - and explains why a deficiency in any one of these types of rest can have unfavorable effects on your health, happiness, relationships, creativity, and productivity. This episode highlights the importance of self-care and the need to become a personal health advocate. Dr. Saundra shares her experiences with burnout, which led to an emphasis on rest in her life. They discuss issues related to work-life balance and the over-reliance on screens and identify areas for enhancing rest that most people aren't aware of. Then, Tony took Dr. Saundra's 'rest quiz' and reviewed the results. You can find the Rest Quiz at https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/ 00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections on Sleep 01:31 Historical Figures and Their Sleep Patterns 02:25 The Misconceptions and Judgments Around Sleep 04:11 Personal Struggles with Sleep and Introduction of Guest 05:21 Taking the Rest Quiz and Discussing the Results 06:29 Introduction to Dr. Saundra Dalton and Her Work 06:36 Debunking Common Myths About Sleep 09:10 The Importance of Different Types of Rest 11:14 The Impact of Sensory Overload on Rest 12:49 The Role of Spiritual Rest in Overall Wellbeing 14:14 The Importance of Emotional and Social Rest 36:21 The Personal Journey Towards Understanding Rest 37:17 Sharing the Secret to Happiness at Work 37:22 Identifying Your Rest Deficit 37:46 Taking the Rest Quiz 38:44 Personal Journey and Motivation 40:17 Navigating the Healthcare System 40:43 Taking Control of Your Health 42:39 Unexpected End of Interview 43:06 Bonus: Taking the Rest Quiz Live 01:08:38 Interpreting the Rest Quiz Results 01:12:57 Conclusion and Recommendations Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony unpacks the complexities of co-parenting with a narcissistic or emotionally immature individual. Addressing a listener's question, Tony delves into the nature of developing children, labeling them as 'little narcissists' due to their inherently self-centered perspective. Tony identifies this as a critical stage of normal human development and explains how these traits vary distinctively in the adult narcissist. He also shares his four-pillar framework for effective communication - assuming good intentions, avoiding declaring the other person wrong, asking questions before commenting, and leaning in and staying present. He demonstrates how these can be applied in co-parenting scenarios. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:17 Reflecting on the Past and Looking Forward 00:58 Discussing Parenting and Co-Parenting 01:37 Understanding the Impact of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist 02:06 Exploring the Concept of 'Little Narcissists' 02:46 Case Study: Sarah's Experience with Divorce 04:03 The Importance of Communication in Parenting 05:07 Understanding the Impact of Parental Decisions on Children 06:01 The Role of Therapy in Understanding Childhood Experiences 06:15 Understanding the Self-Centered Nature of Children 07:08 The Impact of Parental Divorce on Children 09:26 Navigating Parenting Challenges with a Difficult Partner 11:47 Understanding the Concept of 'Little Narcissists' in Parenting 14:59 The Difference Between Healthy Self-Care and Emotionally Immature Selfishness 25:34 Understanding Egosyntonic and Ego-Dystonic Concepts in Parenting 28:44 Understanding Egosyntonic Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 29:14 Co-parenting with a Narcissistic or Emotionally Immature Partner 29:27 The Importance of Fostering Healthy Development in Children 30:30 The Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 31:41 Applying the Four Pillars in Different Contexts 35:27 The Role of the Four Pillars in Co-parenting 57:53 The Impact of the Four Pillars on Children 01:00:02 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony addresses why so many New Year's resolutions don't last and explores the concept of value-based goals and the importance of aligning them with personal values for the sake of authenticity and lasting change. He discusses the shortcomings of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goal-setting method. He plays clips from an interview with his friend Neal Hooper about their discoveries on incorporating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) into the goal-setting process. Neal introduces the elements necessary for genuine progress and fulfillment - the 'why' and 'how' of making SMARTER goals. Drawing from the principles of ACT and illustrating through the story of the client “Jason's” transformational journey, he emphasizes the significance of acceptance, committed action, and psychological flexibility. The episode also points out the need to view setbacks as opportunities for growth, not pitfalls, and illustrates the importance of flexibility in goal setting. 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Traditional Goal-Setting 01:27 Meet the Host: Tony Overbay and His Podcasts 03:11 The Problem with New Year's Resolutions 06:48 The SMART Goals Method: An Overview 08:21 Jason's Story: A Case Study in Goal Setting 09:27 The Limitations of SMART Goals: Jason's Experience 14:26 The Shift to Values-Driven Goals 15:00 Jason's Transformation: Embracing a Holistic Approach 22:27 Conclusion: The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Goal Setting 23:01 Challenges and Old Habits 23:24 Acceptance and Compassion in Change 24:10 The Power of Small Victories 24:42 Aligning Goals with Personal Values 25:13 The Pitfalls of Yo-Yo Dieting 25:42 The Pushup Challenge: A Personal Journey 26:25 Embracing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 27:27 The Power of Daily Commitment 29:56 The Importance of Why and How in Goal Setting 30:22 The Role of Shame in Goal Setting 30:56 The Problem with Traditional Goal Setting 31:19 The Importance of Perceived Value and Capability in Goals 34:36 The Power of Smarter Goals 41:58 The Misconception of Committed Action 43:25 The Role of Setbacks in Growth 44:14 Embracing Discomfort and Doubt 44:42 Conclusion: The Power of ACT Principles Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

“If I'm asking if I'm the narcissist, then Tony says I'm not!” Tony shares that he receives more feedback on this concept than any other from WUTN listeners. But what happens when the narcissist or emotionally immature person in your life gets ahold of this “script?” Does simply repeating this sentence elicit change? Tony details this question and introduces the concept of 'shelf life', a temporary behavioral change in emotionally immature people. We debate the question, 'If you're asking yourself if you're a narcissist, then are you one?' and touch on the use of therapy or self-help methods as tools for manipulation. As we progress through the episode, we discuss how 'John' used therapy to manipulate 'Emily' and appear as a problem solver rather than acknowledging his shortcomings. Overall, the episode is an insightful exploration of emotional immaturity, narcissistic traits, and manipulative behaviors in relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Story of John and Emily 01:27 The Breaking Point and Decision to Seek Therapy 02:09 Initial Therapy Session and Promises Made 03:22 The Short-lived Change and Return to Old Patterns 05:47 Understanding the Concept of 'Shelf Life' in Emotional Change 09:08 The Power of Writing and Self-Expression 15:04 The Narcissist's Reaction to the Podcast 16:27 Doubts, Confusion, and the Struggle to Stay Strong 32:53 Recognizing the Difference: Working on Things vs. Escaping Discomfort 33:15 The Narcissist in Therapy: A Case Study 33:37 The Power of Self-Questioning: Are You the Narcissist? 34:07 The Concept of Shelf Life and Positive Tension 34:37 The Nurtured Heart Approach: A Parenting Model 35:40 The Struggle of Change: A Personal Story 36:10 Trusting Your Gut: Recognizing Manipulation in Therapy 36:39 The Aha Moment: Acceptance and Curiosity 37:37 The Ultimatum: Divorce or Seek Help 39:40 The Journey of Awakening: Acknowledging the Past and Embracing the Future 40:05 The Reality of Narcissism: Recognizing Traits and Codependency 41:59 The Power of Community: Reading Comments from the Group 51:02 The Story of John and Emily: A Case Study on Shelf Life 52:39 Understanding Shelf Life: Temporary Behavioral Change 56:54 The Power of Self-Reflection: Embracing Solitude Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

What happens when an optimist and a pessimist are in a long-term relationship? According to new research from the article “Can an Unhappy Partner Erode Your Happiness Over Time?” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/202312/can-an-unhappy-partner-erode-your-happiness-over-time by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. they eventually align somewhat in their outlooks, but does this lean toward optimism or pessimism? In this episode, Tony engages in a thorough discussion about emotional contagion in relationships, emphasizing how negative emotions tend to spread more rapidly than positive ones. He draws on various research studies to shed light on 'emotional vampires' - individuals who consistently dampen the mood and thus impact the overall happiness in relationships. Additionally, Tony shares a story from one of his clients, illustrating the significance of self-awareness in fostering a positive approach in relationships. Concluding the episode, he offers practical advice on being aware of your emotional impact and implementing changes for healthier and more positive interactions. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Anecdote 02:01 The Influence of Partners on Each Other's Happiness 02:14 Welcome to the Virtual Couch Podcast 02:36 The Concept of Influence in Relationships 03:44 Upcoming Topics and Magnetic Marriage Course 04:08 The Impact of an Unhappy Partner on Your Happiness 07:06 The Power of Negative Emotions 09:51 The Story of Emily: A Case Study 14:44 The Influence of Happiness and Unhappiness in Relationships 20:03 The Role of Emotional Contagion in Relationships 26:40 Takeaways and Final Thoughts Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony and Kate Anthony, divorce coach and author of “The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage,” (https://amzn.to/47V1AKe) unpack the complex dynamics involved with the decision to stay or leave a relationship, typically with an emotionally immature or narcissistic partner. Kate shares her divorce story and explores the importance of establishing personal boundaries and self-care throughout the journey. The conversation discusses the fundamental need for individuals to recognize and reclaim their right to happiness outside a dysfunctional marital relationship. They also talk about the impact of staying in an emotionally abusive relationship for the sake of the kids and the different roles that a therapist and coach can play in the helping process. You can find out more about Kate at her website http://kateanthony.com and if you are looking for safe ways to purchase the book, please visit http://kateanthony.com/dword 00:01 Introduction and Initial Banter 00:14 Discussing Kate's Book and Its Impact 01:08 Kate's Journey and Her Book's Purpose 01:46 The Role of Narcissism in Relationships 02:36 Kate's Personal Experience with Narcissism 03:16 The Impact of Divorce and Making the Decision 05:22 The Aftermath of Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship 06:31 The Role of Codependency in Relationships 13:18 Kate's Career in Acting and Its Influence 16:21 The Importance of Choosing Yourself 22:33 The Process of Knowing When to Leave 24:05 The Power of Self-Acknowledgement 24:23 Understanding the Impact of Denial 24:39 The Importance of Self-Admission 25:12 The Struggle of Facing the Truth 25:29 The Role of Therapists and Coaches 25:50 The Concept of Leading Indicators 26:42 The Reality of Unhealthy Relationships 27:09 The Process of Decision Making 27:32 The Power of Self-Empowerment 27:41 The Role of Coaches in Decision Making 27:47 The Impact of Direct Communication 28:10 The Importance of Authenticity in Relationships 28:23 The Role of Therapists in Decision Making 28:56 The Collaboration between Therapists and Coaches 29:14 The Importance of Training for Coaches 29:38 The Role of Therapists in Guiding Decisions 29:58 The Challenge of Taking Action 30:30 The Importance of Addressing the Impact on Kids 30:42 The Reality of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist 31:27 The Impact of Divorce on Kids 32:00 The Importance of Authenticity in Parenting 32:14 The Reality of Staying for the Kids 41:33 The Importance of Choosing Happiness 43:11 The Importance of Living Your Truth 43:13 The Importance of Living Authentically 43:52 The Importance of Choosing Love over Control 44:14 The Importance of Self-Care 44:17 The Importance of Being Enough for Yourself Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony tackles the misconception of perfection and the fear of making a mistake. He emphasizes the importance of differentiating ourselves, pursuing our genuine passions, and learning to accept the unpredictability of life. Tony guides us to redefine fulfillment and happiness by 'just being ourselves'. He also explores how our minds play tricks on us, in particular, our inherent need for approval and certainty, and examines the role of overconfidence. He finally discusses how embracing the beauty of an ordinary life can make us feel more fulfilled. Dive into this insightful talk and learn more about living authentically and finding joy in your journey. 00:00 Introduction and Story Time 00:38 Ted's Story: The Fear of Making a Mistake 01:14 Ted's Career and Passion for Reading and Writing 02:38 Ted's Realization and Struggle with Self-Acceptance 03:15 The Importance of Pursuing Genuine Happiness 04:19 The Struggle with Comparison and the Desire to Stand Out 04:32 Introduction to the Virtual Couch Podcast 06:07 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Acceptance 09:48 The Role of Others in Our Self-Perception 14:54 The Fear of Rejection and the Desire for Certainty 22:03 The Illusion of Certainty and the Power of Open-Mindedness 26:34 Embracing the Beauty of Being Okay 27:47 Conclusion and Farewell Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay discusses some individuals' challenges when attempting to issue sincere and effective apologies. He discusses our evolutionary predisposition to spot danger and make comparisons, making happiness and contentment difficult to maintain. Tony explores the concepts of self-compassion, mindful self-reflection, and effective apology skills, which he believes are critical for personal growth and emotional maturity. He helps listeners understand how growing up with emotionally immature or narcissistic parents can shape an individual's understanding of taking responsibility for one's actions. He provides insights into why narcissistic individuals in particular, struggle with apologies and explains the steps to deliver a genuine apology. 00:00 Introduction and Hardest Words to Say 00:25 The Difficulty of Saying Sorry 01:37 Welcome to the Podcast and Host Introduction 01:45 The Origin of Apology Difficulty 03:12 The Evolutionary Perspective on Apologies 05:48 The Role of Comparison and Inadequacy in Apologies 07:25 The Impact of Fear of Abandonment on Apologies 13:20 The Art of Making a Sincere and Effective Apology 20:26 The Importance of Context in Apologies 24:40 Relevance of Apologies in Today's World 25:18 Understanding the Impact of Emotionally Immature Parents 25:55 The Role of Therapy in Understanding Emotional Immaturity 26:36 The Importance of Apologies and Taking Ownership 27:40 The Assumption of Badness: Misconceptions about Admitting Fault 28:47 Breaking Free from the Cycle of Non-Accountability 29:26 The Role of Self-Compassion in Offering Effective Apologies 30:32 Understanding the Six Steps of an Apology 35:45 The Challenge of Offering Genuine Apologies for Emotionally Immature Individuals 36:01 The Dangers of Superficial Apologies 41:16 The Power of Self-Compassion and Mindful Self-Reflection 44:11 Conclusion: Action-Based Takeaways for Personal Growth Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

How does abuse impact an individual's spirituality and relationship with God? And how critical is it for a spiritual leader to be non-judgmental, empathetic, and compassionate when someone comes into their office talking about abuse? These critical questions are at the heart of today's episode. Tony Overbay, LMFT, engages in an insightful conversation with Ryan Anderson, PhD, LMFT, and author of "The Choice to Leave Abuse." This episode explores the complex issue of abuse, especially within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), and addresses many common misconceptions about the role of the authority figure in a church congregation. They touch on the prevalence and damaging effects of emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits on relationships and in church leadership. A significant part of the discussion focuses on epigenetics, shedding light on how abuse impacts individuals at a genetic level and offers hope for healing and growth. The episode also addresses the sensitive topic of spiritual abuse within the LDS community. Overbay and Anderson examine the hesitancy of community leaders to confront and address abuse, highlighting the urgent need for supportive environments. They dissect the stigmas and misconceptions in the community, emphasizing the importance of making decisions prioritizing personal well-being and safety. While centered on the LDS community, the themes discussed in this episode have universal relevance. Topics like emotional intelligence, the far-reaching impact of abuse, and the crucial role of support for survivors transcend religious and cultural boundaries. The conversation between Overbay and Anderson serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of empowerment and support for survivors, asserting that spirituality and one's relationship with God should aid, not hinder, the journey to overcome abuse. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Research shows that 95% of adults believe they are self-aware, yet only 10-15% actually are. Where do you fit into this equation? Tony delves into the world of emotional intelligence, and how your emotions shape your reactions, and how that can negatively or positively impact your relationships. From personal anecdotes, including a delayed flight and a lucid dreaming experience, Tony illustrates the importance of self-awareness and emotional management. The episode comprehensively explores emotional intelligence, highlighting its impact on personal relationships, leadership, and self-perception. Tony discusses the four critical components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, emphasizing the foundational role of self-awareness in recognizing emotional triggers and responding thoughtfully in challenging situations. This episode goes beyond theory, intertwining personal stories, client experiences, and research findings to reveal the transformative power of emotional intelligence in both personal and professional settings. Tony invites listeners to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth, emphasizing continuous self-reflection and intentional efforts to enhance emotional intelligence. He also touches on the influence of emotional intelligence in leadership and workplace dynamics, underscoring its value in effective team collaboration and conflict resolution. With a focus on empathy and effective emotion management, Tony's insights serve as a compelling call to action, encouraging individuals to cultivate these skills for improved well-being and success in an increasingly complex and interconnected world. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Ever wondered why some highly educated people fall for outlandish conspiracy theories? Dive into the latest episode of 'Waking Narcissism' with host Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as he tackles this intriguing question. This thought-provoking episode explores the unexpected relationship between education, narcissism, and susceptibility to conspiracy theories, based on insights from Mark Travers, PhD's article 'Educated Narcissists Fall for Conspiracy Theories.'https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202310/why-educated-narcissists-fall-for-conspiracy-theories Tony starts by differentiating between narcissism and emotional immaturity, shedding light on how these distinct traits influence an individual's worldview. Discover why people with high levels of narcissistic traits like grandiosity and a need for uniqueness, particularly those who are well-educated, might be more inclined to believe in conspiracy theories. The episode delves deep into the concepts of cognitive reflection and the Dunning-Kruger effect, illustrating how critical thinking and self-awareness can diminish the impact of narcissism on belief in unfounded theories. Through real-life examples, anecdotal stories, and actionable insights, Tony emphasizes the importance of introspection, humility, and the continuous pursuit of knowledge. Join us for an enlightening journey into the psychological underpinnings of conspiracy theory susceptibility and learn how to navigate a world brimming with complex and often misleading information with a critical and open mind. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by intense emotions in a relationship, struggling to understand why your reactions seem out of your control? Especially if you, and most people in your life, view you as kind and caring rather than reactive and angry. Chances are that you've experienced the “amygdala hijack,” a survival technique that often seems to come out of nowhere but can be especially harmful in relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature people, as they often are the ones causing your brain to scream “fight, or flight!” Today, host Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives deep into the phenomenon of the amygdala hijack, particularly in the context of relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals. This episode unravels the intricate workings of the brain under emotional stress, focusing on how the amygdala, our emotional control center, can take over rational thinking. Tony discusses the critical role of primary and secondary emotions in triggering the body's stress response, highlighting the release of cortisol and its impact on our mental and physical health. The episode is a journey through the neuroscience of emotional processing, offering valuable insights into recognizing and managing the complex emotions that arise in challenging relationships. Tony brings to light the profound effects of prolonged emotional trauma, referencing the poignant phrase, "The body keeps score." The conversation delves into the risks associated with chronic stress and the development of conditions like Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) due to long-term exposure to narcissistic abuse. The episode is an exploration and a guide, providing practical strategies such as EMDR, talk therapy, mindfulness, and meditation to manage the overwhelming waves of amygdala hijack. It emphasizes the importance of professional support and the journey towards healing and understanding our emotional responses. Concluding with a message of compassion and self-reflection, this episode is a beacon of hope and resilience, encouraging listeners to take actionable steps toward recovery and emotional self-awareness in the face of the challenges of emotionally charged relationships. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Have you ever wished for a better relationship with your parents? As a parent, do you worry that how you're raising your kids now might make them feel disconnected from you as adults? Where does one start laying the foundation to ensure a healthy parent-child relationship into adulthood? Today, Tony delves deep into these pressing questions, offering insightful answers and practical guidance. Tony discusses the intricate dynamics between parents and their adult children. We explore themes of non-judgmental observation, the crucial role of patience and consistent effort, the art of practicing acceptance, and the importance of self-compassion in mending and strengthening these relationships. Tony sheds light on the common pitfalls of making judgments and assumptions, urging parents to empathize with their children's experiences without imposing their perspectives. The episode emphasizes the parent's role as the primary agent of change, highlighting that while we cannot erase the past, we can certainly start a new, more hopeful chapter. ‘We can't erase the past, but it's okay to start a new chapter, one where growth is possible, and the relationship can find a new form,' Tony notes, encapsulating the message of hope and resilience. Listeners will discover actionable steps for parents, including the power of self-reflection, acknowledging past hurts, reaching out consistently without pressure, and nurturing self-compassion and patience. The episode also discusses the therapeutic approach of writing a letter to acknowledge a child's experiences to promote understanding and healing. This conversation is about repairing relationships and transforming them through empathy, understanding, and a committed, patient journey toward healing and growth. Tune in for an enlightening exploration of how to nurture and heal the complex yet beautiful connections between parents and their adult children, making this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to deepen and improve these essential relationships in their life. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Tony mentioned the Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship/ Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

In installment 6 of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series - "The Camouflaged Wounds - Seeing the Unseen," Tony Overbay, LMFT, addresses the complex issue of covert abuse in relationships, often described metaphorically as 'Death by a Thousand Cuts'. Tony explores how small, often overlooked actions can accumulate significant emotional distress. The episode challenges listeners to recognize the subtle signs of an unhealthy relationship, where one's sense of self is slowly chipped away by a partner's emotionally immature or narcissistic behavior. In a more light-hearted tone, reflecting on the appeal of choose-your-own-adventure books, Tony uses humor as a therapeutic tool to guide listeners through the maze of such relationships. The discussion covers different forms of covert abuse, including psychological, emotional, and financial, offering real-life scenarios that illustrate the cumulative effect of these behaviors. Through candid storytelling, Tony aims to empower listeners to identify damaging patterns, engage in honest self-reflection, and take steps toward healing and healthier relationships. The episode serves as a practical guide for personal growth and encourages a deeper conversation about maintaining emotional well-being in the face of covert narcissistic abuse. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony talks with Lori Finlay, a nurse practitioner, board-certified health coach, and health expert with a unique background in cardiology and wellness medicine. Lori opens up about her personal struggles with chronic fatigue and premature menopause and how she took control of her health journey through the study of epigenetics. As she weaves her narrative, she touches on her frustrations with inadequate medical treatment and the critical importance of functional medicine. Utilizing the analogy of a piano, Lori illustrates how epigenetics—the top layer of our genetic wiring influenced by lifestyle—can be expressed differently, giving us control over our own wellness in a profound way. Lori expands the discussion to encompass a wide range of symptoms and experiences that many may encounter while grappling with life's challenges—from trauma and stress to divorce and betrayal. She delves into how stress hormones can even mimic symptoms of a heart attack and provides actionable advice for self-care routines to raise one's physical and emotional baseline. Special focus is given to women's health, specifically the link between emotional stress and hormone imbalance and its relation to breast cancer. Lori suggests mindfulness exercises and practical biohacks, such as the simple yet effective use of clove and lime oils on the vagus nerve, to manage stress and improve overall well-being. Wrapping up, Lori shifts the spotlight to the urgent need for awareness and education, not just in women's breast health but also in men's health. She shares her insights on cutting-edge, holistic approaches to breast health and the relevance of early detection methods like the Dutch hormone test. The conversation even extends to the potential benefits of energy medicine and mindfulness in holistic healing. Listeners are left not only with an arsenal of information but also an invitation to Lori's free breast health awareness webinar, making this episode an invaluable resource for anyone looking to take control of their health. You can take Lori's free “Hormone Symptom Quiz here https://pages.lorifinlay.com/hormone-quiz and find out more about Lori and how she can help you “create the vitality you crave,” at https://lorifinlay.com/ Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Have you ever wondered how your perception shapes your relationships and what happens when it clashes with someone else's? In Episode 93 of the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast, host Tony Overbay cracks open this intricate topic by differentiating between 'perception' and 'perspective.' Not just a play on words, these two concepts wield significant power over your emotional and relational health. Tony unpacks how recognizing this distinction can be a game-changer, especially when dealing with emotionally immature or narcissistic individuals. Listen for real-life examples, including a compelling listener letter that illuminates the struggles of dealing with a partner who insists 'perception is reality' and that they are the ultimate deliverer of truth or final say on what YOU think or feel. Tony dives deep into the transformative journey from codependence to interdependence. Through the heartwarming narrative of Sandra and Jason, discover how differentiation—the practice of developing separate thoughts, feelings, and identities while remaining emotionally connected—can serve as your secret weapon in any relationship. From setting boundaries to navigating manipulative tactics like the silent treatment, this episode gives you the tools to protect your emotional well-being while fostering genuine connection. Whether you're puzzled by your partner's narcissism or striving for a more interdependent relationship, Tony lays the roadmap for emotional growth and relational harmony. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony's new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA Tony dives into the destructive nature of shame-based therapy, refuting its effectiveness and ethical standing. You'll hear firsthand accounts of the damage shame-based approaches can cause, all the while raising the question: How should therapists truly be helping their clients? In the second half, the episode shifts towards de-stigmatizing 'porn addiction,' urging listeners to understand it as more of an unhealthy coping mechanism and why strength-based approaches to improving one's life with the acceptance that it is THEIR life work, and a therapist, life coach, or religious leader making it about THEMSELVES will only further exacerbate the problem. Tony talks about evidence-based therapeutic strategies like acceptance and commitment therapy that operate from a place of compassion, not shame. By doing so, individuals are empowered with the tools and emotional freedom to reshape their coping mechanisms, ultimately leading to more fulfilling lives. Please subscribe to Tony's YouTube Channel here https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast and you can find this video with Descript's “eye contact” feature enabled here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s Tony and Sydney's episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Have you ever wondered why chasing happiness often leaves you feeling unfulfilled? Or why your need for control seems to be controlling you? Tony answers these questions and more as he dives into the complexities of happiness, control, and commitment through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He challenges the common notion that happiness is all about feeling good and explores a richer, more meaningful definition of happiness that aligns with our core values. He also tackles the human need for control and certainty, discussing how letting go and embracing uncertainty can be liberating, allowing us to focus on what truly matters. And if you've ever wondered about whether or not a little bit of worrying is helping, or if you've questioned if commitment is more than just sticking to a plan, Tony offers insight that will bring more clarity as well as provide you with a few steps to help get you unstuck. We dive deep into commitment, emphasizing that it's not always about feeling good but about taking consistent, value-based actions—even when it's tough. The episode also addresses the pitfalls of worrying and ruminating, offering a fresh perspective on problem-solving that aligns with our values. We introduce the idea of self-differentiation, explaining how it allows us to maintain emotional and intellectual independence while fully engaging with the world around us. Ever catch yourself reminiscing about the early days of your relationship when everything felt fresh and exciting? Let's be honest, over time, routines set in, and we often find ourselves on relationship auto-pilot. But what if you could shake things up and rediscover that joy? The Unlock the Power of Intimacy Summit is your golden ticket. Best of all, it's FREE. I am participating as a presenter and host of other marriage and intimacy experts. This is FOUR days of incredible insight for free, starting Monday, October 9th. We will uncover tools and strategies to deepen your connection, elevate your relationship skillset, and reignite your passion. I will go deep into my “4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation” (and much more!). https://tonyoverbay.us16.list-manage.com/track/click?u=83ba492f9e6161cdbe0a39671&id=415b315c40&e=14037a4779 Tony and Sydney's episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Dive deep with Tony as he unravels the origins and implications of our "inner critic." From the evolutionary roots that kept our ancestors safe from predators to the modern-day societal pressures that amplify our self-doubt, discover why our brains are wired to magnify mistakes and how this impacts our mental well-being. Drawing from expert insights, like David Foster Wallace's profound reflections on conscious awareness and Marshall Rosenberg's principles of nonviolent communication, this episode sheds light on the powerful narratives we unconsciously craft about ourselves. Journey through the transformative power of self-compassion, understanding its significance in challenging our deeply ingrained self-critiques. Learn the art of observing without judging, mindfulness's magic, and recognizing our shared human experience. Tony compares our minds to a vast sponge shaped by every lived experience and offers practical strategies to balance negative and positive. By the end, listeners will be equipped with tools to release the metaphorical handbrake of self-criticism, setting them on a path toward personal growth, understanding, and a more compassionate inner narrative. Tony and Sydney's episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch The episode featured in the “letter from Blake” at the beginning of today's episode can be found here https://blubrry.com/the_virtual_couch/111033262/youre-not-broken-youre-human-exploring-rising-depression-rates-wnate-christensen-apcc Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Have you ever heard that when a baby, or a dog, or basically any animal is twitching, they are dreaming? But what if that twitching occurs in the womb or from a baby mouse whose eyes haven't yet opened? Tony discusses the article "What Are Dreams For" by Amanda Gefter, https://apple.news/ATyOGpIRDQNOHahTKYECH5Q This episode dives deep into the intricate relationship between dreams and our bodily sensations. Grounded in recent scientific research, we explore how our dreaming minds are influenced by physical signals, including heart rates, vestibular system information, and even muscular sensations. We'll discuss how dreams incorporate snippets of our daily lives and long-forgotten memories, pointing to a complex dialogue between the mind and the body. Additionally, we touch upon the innovative domain of robotics, where principles from dreaming inspire adaptive learning in machines. Join us as we unravel the intricate web of dreams, bodily experiences, and the subtle ways they shape our understanding of reality. Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony reconnects with Julie Lee, who opens up about a tumultuous year marked by personal challenges, including her divorce and the heartrending loss of her sister. Additionally, Julie reveals a recent ADHD diagnosis, joining Tony in the ranks of those diagnosed with ADHD later in life. The duo dives deep into their experiences with ADHD, highlighting its challenges and unexpected silver linings. They underscore the therapeutic power of humor, with Julie sharing how it has been an essential coping mechanism during her trying times. Julie also shares some powerful stories, like discovering a note from her late sister, underscoring the profound power of humor to connect, heal, and make sense of life's unpredictable paths. At the end of the episode, Tony and Julie attempt to make each other laugh, with Julie turning to help from her young daughter in the joke-writing. Furthermore, this conversation sets the stage for an exciting announcement: the launch of Julie and Tony's joint podcast, "Love, ADHD - Where Genius and Scatter Meet." Aiming to demystify the adult ADHD experience and provide solace through shared stories, their podcast offers listeners both relatable narratives and valuable insights. By melding authenticity with humor, "Love, ADHD" seeks to be more than just a podcast—it's a community for those looking to understand and embrace the complexities of ADHD and life itself. Follow or subscribe to “Love, ADHD” wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcast listeners can follow here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-adhd/id1707721821 and Spotify listeners can follow here https://open.spotify.com/show/6kyxztvpVXk1EgeyzuzsQ3?si=bb678548eebc45eb Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Rachel Nielson joins Tony Overbay from the 3 in 30 Podcast for Moms to share the details of Rachel's time-sensitive once-a-year program, “Self-Assured Motherhood” (SAM). SAM is a 9-month course for women “ready to stop second-guessing themselves and to start bringing the best of themselves to their motherhood.” They discuss the need for boundaries in relationships. Rachel shares her personal stories about infertility and adoption and talks about how important it is to support and understand people going through tough times. She stresses parents' role in a child's life and talks about her approach to positive parenting based on John Gottman's ideas. Tony also shares her experiences with the Nurtured Heart parenting method, which focuses on praising the good things children do while not letting them see and push your buttons. Rachel talks about how important self-care is and how we can look after ourselves without feeling guilty. And they spend time discussing in detail Rachel's program, especially her “3 Key Pillars” of “Know Your Self,” “Honor Your Needs,” and “Love Your People,” which play a significant role in helping moms feel more confident and balanced. Wrapping up, Tony and Rachel encourage listeners to check out the "Self-Assured Motherhood" program, which has helped many women improve their relationships and feel more confident as mothers. They remind listeners to visit the program's website, selfassuredmotherhood.com If you're interested in parenting, relationships, or just hearing some heartfelt stories, this episode is for you. Here's a link to Rachel's Self-Assured Motherhood Program http://3in30podcast.com/sam and here's a link for Rachel's free class http://3in30podcast.com/freeclass Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony welcomes Gayane Aramyan, LMFT (https://www.therapywithgayane.com/, https://www.instagram.com/therapywithgayane/), for an enlightening exploration of contemporary parenting. Tony expresses that he genuinely “doesn't know what he doesn't know,” as a seasoned (translation “old”) father whose parenting experience hails from a less digital era, as he engages in a candid dialogue with Gayane, a mother of a 3-year-old. They delve into the labyrinth of information that's now at the fingertips of every parent, sifting through the myriad of resources to discern the invaluable from what is sometimes best described as “noise.” Gayane offers a poignant firsthand account of navigating motherhood's complexities, emphasizing the critical but often under-discussed realm of postpartum depression and, more specifically, post-partum rage and how new mothers and parents, in general, can prepare for all the unknowns of parenthood. In an age where technology's imprint is indelible, they grapple with its dual-edged nature in child-rearing, considering its potential benefits and pitfalls. This episode is a nexus of seasoned wisdom and modern-day challenges, offering invaluable insights for those either embarking on the parenting journey or simply curious about the nuanced tapestry of raising children in our digital age. Equip yourself with knowledge and join this compelling discourse on the evolving dynamics of parenthood. Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony explains what the psychology “buzzword” differentiation means and why it is essential to not only be differentiated in your key relationships but also how differentiation, or being able to recognize and separate your feelings and emotions from external influences, like the comments and interactions with others, is a critical component of emotional maturity, and as cliched as it sounds, becoming the very best version of yourself in ALL aspects of your life, and ANY conversation. One listener shares their journey through a candid letter, highlighting the challenges and epiphanies experienced during therapy sessions. From understanding their partner's perspective to navigating cultural and religious taboos on intimacy, the narrative uncovers the significance of recognizing one's emotions distinctly from external influences. The episode takes listeners on a journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, understanding reactions, and the continuous process of reshaping our mental landscapes. This episode offers a comprehensive look into fostering individuality while maintaining a deep connection with others through real-life examples, expert insights, and reflective techniques. Tune in and explore the intricate dynamics of differentiation, understand Bowen's theory in a refreshing light, and get inspired to enrich your mental space continually. Whether it's about confronting past experiences, recognizing external pressures, or seeking genuine personal growth, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for those eager to embrace their authentic selves while building healthier relationships. Join us on the Virtual Couch, and let's journey together into the heart of true self-awareness. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders, Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder, from OCD to panic disorder to generalized anxiety disorder. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ