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So… Christmas is nearly here! Nat and her sister in law Linny take a look at some of your messages and chat all things Christmas. We are nearly there everyone! Enjoy! X Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. xxx You can find us in all places here; https://podfollow.com/lifewithnat/view INSTA: @natcass1 We're also on Facebook now too: https://www.facebook.com/lifewithnatpod A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com SHOW INFO: Life with Nat - it's me! Natalie Cassidy and I'll be chatting away to family, friends and most importantly YOU. I want to pick people's brains on the subjects that I care about- whether that's where all the odd socks go, weight and food or kids on phones. Each week I will be letting you into my life as i chat about my week, share my thoughts on the mundane happenings as well as the serious. I have grown up in the public eye and have never changed because of it. Life with Nat is the podcast for proper people. Come join the community. ♥️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our latest episode of Welcome to Cloudlandia offers an intimate look at the Genius Network annual event in Scottsdale, featuring extraordinary conversations with prominent figures like Bobby Kennedy, Jordan Peterson, and Tucker Carlson. We explore the unexpected appointment of Robert Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health and Human Services and share insights from a key OpenAI representative, examining how technology subtly maintains existing societal structures. The episode delves into the evolving nature of professional gatherings, highlighting the power of meaningful connections over traditional networking. We discuss the intricate art of event planning, sharing personal strategies for managing commitments and overcoming challenges like ADD. Our conversation reveals the importance of structured scheduling and intentional approaches to daily productivity. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS I reflected on our experiences at the Genius Network annual event in Scottsdale, where notable figures like Bobby Kennedy, Jordan Peterson, and Tucker Carlson contributed to the discussions. The appointment of Robert Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health and Human Services was an unexpected but significant topic of conversation during the event. We discussed the role of technology in maintaining the status quo, drawing parallels to historical innovations like the "horseless carriage." The importance of networking and making meaningful connections was emphasized, highlighting how such interactions often hold more value than the content itself at events. Organizing large events requires meticulous logistical planning, often years in advance, to manage various commitments and schedules. I shared insights on managing ADD through structured schedules, which serve as an essential tool in overcoming daily challenges. The humorous dynamics of Robert Kennedy's collaboration with Donald Trump were explored, alongside lighter topics like meal planning and scheduling. We reflected on aging and the limitations it imposes, while discussing strategies to remain active and maintain cognitive health. The episode highlighted the challenges of maintaining personal ambitions and adapting to changes as we age. The podcast wrapped up with reflections on the role of technology and the evolving nature of political and personal dynamics in today's world. Links: WelcomeToCloudlandia.com StrategicCoach.com DeanJackson.com ListingAgentLifestyle.com TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Dean: Mr Sullivan. Dan: Yes, mr Jackson, and I hope it will be copied. I hope it will be copied and sent virally around the world, this podcast. I hope, millions. Dean: To all the corners of Clublandia. Dan: Yes, yes. Dean: Yes, well, what a whirlwind tour for both of us here, I think. Where are you? Are you back in Toronto right now? Dan: Next to the fireplace. Dean: Okay, I like that. Dan: That's great, which is needed today. It's getting cool. I'm going to be. Dean: I like it, but I like it. I'm coming up on Friday, I think. Dan: This week Yep and then return to be yeah, I think this week, yep, and then return to be yeah, I'm coming, I'll be in Argentina. Yeah, yeah, next week I'll be in. Dean: Argentina Right, yeah, I'm doing, I'm coming up on Friday, I'm doing a breakthrough blueprint on Monday, tuesday, wednesday, and then we have coach the following Monday, tuesday, right. Dan: Yeah, and I'm flying back on friday night from argentina, so I won't be um back in my house, probably till about three o'clock on saturday. Dean: so oh my goodness, so we're gonna miss our table time yeah, I'll see you on sunday. Dan: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but some things come in front of other things. Dean: Exactly right, I have three ideas this week. Dan: I have three ideas this week. I was just going to say where do we start? Dean: We should probably mention that we just got back from Scottsdale and Joe's annual event, the Genius Network annual event, which was really another level. I mean, he's really gone above and beyond and on Saturday he pulled off something I don't think anybody's been able to pull off. He had Bobby Kennedy and Jordan Peterson and Tucker Carlson and Cali Means all on the same stage and I'll tell you what he has really grown as a conversationalist I don't even want to call him an interviewer because it was really, you know, that level of he's just the right amount of curious and unpredictable in the conversation that it's fascinating. He's not asking them the stock questions that would come. You know that you would expect, but it was amazing. I think everybody was very, was very impressed with how the event went off yep, yeah, I. Dan: The takeaway for me one is that we saw robert kennedy on saturday and then on on Wednesday, was it? Or Thursday? Wednesday, I think it was Wednesday he was appointed the secretary of health. Yes, human service, human services, and I think that's a big deal. Dean: I do too. It's, yeah, very, very impressive. Yeah, you know what's funny about that event is that the you know impressive. You know what's funny about that event is that we also had the head of GoToMarket for OpenAI, which was kind of like a that's a pretty big role, but it was downplayed by Zach Cass. Zach Cass, the guy that spoke oh, were you there on Sunday? He spoke on Sunday morning. No, we came there on Sunday. He spoke on Sunday morning. No, we came home on Sunday. Oh, okay, that's why. So, yeah, so the head of go-to-market, one of the original guys for OpenAI, was there and it was so funny that became. You know, he was kind of like the undercard, if you want to call it that, right, oversadowed by the blockbuster Saturday, but he himself was that's a pretty, that's a pretty big get to have too. So, very, very interesting. Dan: He was like in the 10th race at Woodbine you know the sore horses race later. Dean: So well, I had three, three ideas. Dan: Well, first of all, I had a nice introduction by Joe to Jordan Peterson. It turns out that he lives about a four-minute drive from us in the beaches oh wow, that's amazing. We're going to get together and he and his wife invited us to their Christmas party. So Christmas party, yeah, very, you know, very lively, engaging, smart, good sense of humor and everything. I enjoyed meeting him, but I had three ideas that I've been pondering all week. Okay, and more and more, I think that the humans use technology to keep things the same I think you're right, and even referring to it as the thing it's replacing. Dean: I remember hearing that about when automobiles first came out. They were called them horseless carriages. Right that, that's really what the thing was. Our only, our only frame of reference for the new is in how it relates to the past. Dan: Or relates to the present. Yeah, the present, that's what I mean, yeah, and if our present is under threat, we will adapt a new technology to keep ourselves more or less where we were. Yeah, and I've just been pondering this this is not a major thought, but it's a side thought that thought that we use technology to keep things the same. And what was the side thought now? Well, that was a quick one, that was a quick one. That one just flew out of my head, but I had a second thought too, and I was watching a really interesting podcast yesterday with Peter Thiel, who you know, and you know one of the co-creators of PayPal. One of the co-creators of PayPal and he's the creator of Planteer, which is a deep, dark, secret R&D lab for the government. And Barry Weiss, who was a columnist for the New York Times, who was let go because she started exhibiting independent thoughts. Dean: I hate it when that happens. Dan: Well, you know, you just can't be doing that at the New York Times. You really have to go with the party thoughts. You know the thoughts. But he was saying that what the election sort of indicated for him, election sort of indicated for him the presidential election of last week, was that in the internet world it's almost impossible to be a successful hypocrite. And that is if you say something to this group and then go across the street and say a completely different thing to another group that you used to be able to get to the, maybe not across the street but, let's say, cities 300 miles apart or anything you could get away with. You could get away with it, but the internet now makes that more or less impossible. It's increasingly difficult to be a hypocrite. You know where you try to play both sides of an issue. Dean: Yeah, well, because the internet is very, they love to identify and call those out. I mean, I remember I mentioned to you that Kamala, you know, there was a video going around that was Kamala speaking out of both sides of her mouth about Hamas and Israel. And yeah, I mean, it was just, you know, because they were running the ads in different thinking they would get away with it, because they're running one in Pennsylvania and one in Michigan or wherever. Dan: Yeah, right, that would be great, that would be a good thing. Yeah, and I was thinking the fact that almost all the celebrities that came out in her favor were to do so. Mm-hmm. Dean: Oh, yeah, like. Dan: Oprah got a million to do an interview with her. Beyonce, I've heard, got 10 million just to show up at a rally 10 million. Didn't have to do anything. Dean: That's wild, isn't it? Dan: Yeah, and she had a billion dollars to spend and she ended up 20 million in debt Over. Oh man. Dean: Yeah, in debt. Dan: Yeah, but if that had been done 20 years ago, that might not have been discovered as quickly, maybe not at all. It might not have been discovered at all. So it's just getting very difficult to be a hypocrite. I mean, you used to be able to make a lifetime career out of being a hypocrite, and now it wouldn't last more than 24 hours. Dean: Yeah, I remember. Dan: It's a career with a short future. Dean: Yeah, there was a meme going around about listing the people who had endorsed Donald Trump, joe Rogan and Elon Musk and Bob Kennedy and all these people, and then it was the people who endorsed Kamala was the Diddy List, you know so funny. Dan: Yeah, so my first. So I've had three thoughts. First one was technology. We use technology to keep things the same. Number two it's getting more difficult to be a hypocrite. Number three is I've discovered what the greatest individual ambition can be. Tell me To be more ambitious. Dean: It's the gift that keeps on giving. Dan: Yeah. Dean: That's the number one. Dan: Just next year, just next year. Be more ambitious. Be more ambitious next year than you are this year, and that's all you have to handle. It'll take care, it's the one goal that takes care of everything. I don't want to own just the land that's next to mine yeah, yes, because that I've given a lot of thought to goals, but almost all of them they're one and done, you know yeah you've achieved the goal and then you know, then it's gone. But uh, if your, your ambition is simply to be always more ambitious, I think that handles a lot of endings. Dean: Yeah, absolutely. I think that's funny. It's almost like a cheat code you know, I think that's great. I see, there's a. I mean, what a never-ending like a perpetual improvement cycle improvement cycle. Dan: Yeah, well it's, it's always. It's a kind of interesting thing because I'm trying to figure myself out at ajd that I've got bigger things I'm working. I've got bigger things I'm working on. I'm I'm working, working with people who are doing bigger and bigger things and you know and everything else, and I said what accounts for, and I said your ambition is to be more ambitious. Dean: Well, that's your print, right, your print is. Dan: Well, it's seven. Three, I mean it's three is success and achievement Right? Seven, seven, you have seven. It's enjoying life and having a good time. Dean: Yeah, bigger parties, yeah, bigger parties. Dan: Yeah, revenues, bigger parties. Dean: Bigger revenues. Dan: bigger parties, that's fantastic. Dean: I love it. Dan: So anyway, I'm going to do a triple play on those three and see what I come up with. I think there's, but I just feel that things are really shifting. I think there's, but I just feel that things are really shifting. I got a sense that, yeah, peter, peter Thiel very bright, very bright very very thoughtful, very thoughtful person and but he had a comment that he thinks that Bud Light. You know, remember the Bud Light. He thinks that was the end of the 20th century. He said that at that moment, the 20th century ended and the 21st century began. And he said that he feels that the Democrats are now the Bud Light Party. Dean: Oh man, well, and so that, yeah, I mean. Dan: You wonder now Well, you think about it that the reason that got them thrown out of power is the reason why they won't learn anything from getting thrown out of party, because they feel superior, intellectually superior morally superior and that would prevent them from actually saying well, maybe you are not Right, but your sense of superior prevents you from realizing that maybe you're not. They've kind of twisted themselves into a knot. Yeah, because I'm. You know, I watch the replays on. You know that they have an article, but then they'll have a link to a video. And Real Clear Politics is my favorite video and on real clear politics is my favorite, and you go on and you could just tell that the Democratic Party right now is very disappointed with American citizens. Dean: They're very disappointed. Dan: They're very disappointed with the quality of citizens in the United States right now and they're saying how do we get a different kind of voter? What we need is a different kind of voter. It's very clear that the kinds of voters we have right now are not delivering. Dean: We need more. Dan: Yeah, let's get some more Vansuelen gang members in here. Dean: Oh man. So what was your insights or thoughts from the Genius Network annual event? You're not a notetaker. No, me neither. I'm exactly like that. I know that whatever insight I get, if it's strong enough to stay with me, that's the insight you know. Dan: Well, my big one and you already brought it up in the conversation. I told Joe at dinner that you know we had the dinner on Saturday night and I said I think you've just jumped 10 times I said I think what you did, today is a 10 times jump and I said tomorrow morning what you did today is going to feel normal to you. Dean: And to everyone else. I think that's really the great thing. You know, like his whole and he said it too each year his goal is to make it a better event than the last, and so that's very yeah, that's very interesting. Dan: Yeah, the other thing is that I kind of told him this was last year, so this was the annual meeting for last year, and when he invited Robert Kennedy Jr last year. I said to him I just want you to know whether you've just entered the political world when you make an invitation like this, whether you like it, you know whether you like it or not, or whether you agree or not, you're now in the political world. Dean: So you got to be aware of that, yeah, and even though and even though Jordan Peterson, not per se political, but certainly in a different, not business like you know, the events have evolved from you know almost all business, like you know marketing and you know entrepreneur type of things more to a different level of event. It's interesting, I was looking through, but it's magic what happens actually at the event. It's not about the content of the event. It's being in the room surrounded by the Genius Network and I think I really got on another level, the purpose of the annual event versus the meetings, the yearly or monthly meetings, and you know it was very. I had a gentleman from Toronto who actually sat beside me on the first day and you know he was there primarily for the business stuff. The marketing really needed that help and you know I had to kind of help reframe that because if that was the number one reason you were there, there wasn't a lot of that at the actual event, you know. But what there was and this is what we said is that but we got to meet and that's, you know there's, that's part of the thing is that's the, that's the way to get that, what you actually need you know, yeah, yeah, anyway, it's just interesting. Dan: I think the first one I ever went to was in new york yeah, right the annual meeting I think he had. Joe had a couple of those in new New. York, yeah, and then, and then he had one in California, two two in. California actually he had the one where Richard Branson came yeah by uh, hollywood it was, I think it was actually it was in. Yeah, yeah, I always remember he had that. And then the second one was at Pelican Hill down in Newport. Dean: Beach. Dan: Newport, right yeah, and then they moved them to Scottsdale. And that was the right place. Dean: Yeah, it really is. It's perfect, it fits. And this one how convenient was this? Right across the street from his house. Dan: Yeah, how convenient was this? Right across the street from his house? Yeah, and we're doing the summit, the Free Zone Summit, right across the street from where we were. Dean: Right next door. Dan: Desert shadows right across the street. Yeah yeah, scottsdale really works. I mean, you can get there on a single flight from almost anywhere. Dean: Yeah. Dan: And the weather is usually good and, yeah, it's nice. Dean: Next year you've already got everything mapped out. You're always a year a full year ahead. Dan: Generally, with events like that, I'm you're ahead With our personal schedule. We're usually three years ahead, oh my goodness Wow. Well, it's because of the workshops. Dean: Yes. Dan: You have to figure every year you're going to have a certain number of workshops and they're going to be at a certain period of each quarter. Dean: So we have that. Dan: That's already logged in and we pretty well know that. I mean, then there's all sorts of things. I mean you have free days, but the free days move around in terms of what you're going to do with the free days, and I've got a book to do every quarter and I've got podcasts to do every quarter. I've got workshops to do every quarter. So've got podcasts to do every quarter, I've got workshops to do every quarter. So that gives it a pretty much of a go forward structure a nice cadence, yeah. Dean: Structure scaffolding yeah yeah, or as uh ned holland would call it, the bobsled run yeah, I don't experience. Dan: A I don't experience, add the way that describes it how so? Dean: so how do you mean? Dan: Well, I'm not super, I'm not hyperactive. Dean: Me neither. Dan: Yeah, so not, and you know, so I don't experience. I know that that exists and that's you know, it's a great part of ADD. Mine is I would characterize it what I think. What I think is the most important thing, subject to change on a fairly frequent basis, gotcha. Dean: Yeah, and how you know, you seem to you know I've adopted, or was introduced to. You know, russell Barkley's interpretation of ADD, which totally seemed to fit for me. I saw it in the clearest light that I've ever seen it or had the most understanding of it as an executive function. disability- and it was a really elevated way of thinking about it, as a you know you talked about it as a true, like a neuro degenerative disability, that it's not anything that you can will your way out of or that you can. You know, it's not a character issue or a weakness or anything like that, it's just the true physical, neurological disconnection between the two parts of your brain and I. Really, when I embraced that or, as I'm, it's still a journey of embracing it and realizing that the things that, that the ways that manifests for me is it really is when I'm left on my own to self-direct what I'm going to do with a big block of time. And it's been very, you know, it's been fascinating because my whole paradigm for the way that I've lived and set up my life is to try at all times to keep my schedule free so that I would have time to do all the things that I want to do, all the creative things, you know. But the reality is that the only things that ever get actually done are things that have that external scaffolding, things like podcasts and workshops and Zoom appointments, and the things that are synchronous and scheduled and involve other people, and there's no way around it. It's like, as much as I want to be able to think that I could clear off three hours in the morning and just sit and write or, to you know, create or to do something, it's very uphill because I'm very slippery, without the structure of someone being on the other end of the phone at 11 am on saturday or sunday morning. You know, I know I never miss and it's like those things that it's and I'm never. I never find, I never struggle with add in the moment. I always, once I'm engaged and into something, I'm able to give that thing my focus, like I'm not distracted while we're doing. Dan: Yeah, my experience would be you're the. My experience is that you're fully there. Dean: Yeah. Dan: When you're there. Dean: When I'm there Exactly. Dan: It's so funny, but if I need to be there, who's the who's the person? Who's the person that described this? Dean: for you, barkley, yeah, russell barkley. He's a contemporary colleague of of ned hollow. Well, they know each other very well they. And Russell Barkley actually has a series of videos that describe the things that he and Ned disagree on, the different approaches to two things, but they're both like totally fully respect the other. You know that's a big thing but for me that that explanation and that you know set of the way he described it, is that every intervention or everything that works has to be external and it can't be. You know, it's nothing internal like willing yourself or character changing or anything like that. It's really we need to treat it and to the extent that we treat it like a true disability and then make accommodations for it, like if you, he would say, if we treated it like you would never say to a paraplegic it's right over there, just get up and walk over there, it's only a few paces yeah, because you know that it's a physical impossibility for them to do that, but in the morning walk, first thing in the morning walk a mile yeah, exactly, if that's the thing, then that's going to be a problem right but, that's going to be a problem, yeah, but but if you acknowledge it as a disability and you said, okay, how about we get you a chair with wheels and then we'll put a motor on it and you can just point where you want to go and you'll get to where you're going, that's an accommodation for the disability and that's kind of what he's saying, that this external scaffolding like the way you know what I admire about your calendar so much is that you have all the things that you do are really supported by that external scaffolding. There's not a lot, of excuse me, like you know, you have used to be 150. How many workshop days do you have? Dan: now? Well, there are 60 days when I'm doing workshop activities, but a lot of them are two hour sessions or not eight hour sessions, and those are all on the calendar and oh yeah, those are, yeah, those go way into the future. Dean: Yeah, and they're all. I find that too, that they're all very, they're procrastination proof, because you have to show up like you know there's no way, it's really is just accepting it and you know, leaning into that structure as much as I, as much as I can, yeah yeah, it's really, it's kind of interesting. Dan: I was just bouncing his words off of. You know my own experience of being add and you know, clinically, I've been diagnosed, so you know it's, uh, you know it's, it's a real thing, and but mine is more that I actually I don't, and this relates to you. It doesn't relate to you know. So, barkley, so much it relates to you that my goal is to have my schedule filled up the night when I go to bed the night before. I want my schedule filled up for the, so I don't have to think about it when I get up in the morning it's all right, it's all set, yeah and but then I get over time. I get very discriminating about the quality of the things that are filling up my time. There's little adjustments that have to be made because I've got a great scheduler. Becca Miller is my scheduler and she's just terrific, but she can't do my thinking for me. For example, last weekend we were at Genius Network and then we came home on a Sunday. I don't like coming home on a Sunday. That's the way it was scheduled, that's the way it was scheduled. So I came home on schedule and then Monday was just packed and I said OK, we got to put a new rule in. Dean: If I come back on Sunday. Dan: There can't be anything on Monday, yeah, and we could see that six months ahead, you know we could see that, and so I have little conversations. This is the rule. And then on Friday, both Babs and I had Zoom calls after four o'clock, you know, one at five o'clock, one at six o'clock and I was going through the experience. I said, okay, no, no commitments after four o'clock on Friday. Right, yeah, but these are just little adjustments, you know these are just little adjustments that you make. And then I, you know, I sit down with her and I said let's just put a couple of new rules in. You know, if I come back on a sunday, I can't have anything on a monday. And then you know nothing after four on friday and everything like that. You know. Dean: And you know, it's just I. Dan: you know I was sitting, I was going through it, I I will fulfill the commitment, but as I'm going through it and I said I don't really like that, I not that I don't like the thing that I'm doing. I don't like doing it at this particular time, right. Dean: And the other. Thing is. Dan: I like being in Toronto on Saturday and having Toronto Saturday Day and this last year we've had more things that took away our Toronto Saturdays and I said we've got to look ahead now and look at all the Saturdays going out for a year and a half and to the most part, let me have that in Toronto, be in Toronto. Dean: Yeah, that's such a great. So you really Saturday is like a free day. I like it. Yeah, I just like it. Yeah, I just like it. Dan: Yeah, I just like it. Why do you want that? I really like it. Dean: Because I want it. That's right. I want what I want, yeah. Dan: I want what I like. Yes, yeah. Dean: Yeah, that's good. Well, I'm just going through the process right now, like embracing that. My goal is to shape my calendar for next year ahead for the whole, for the whole year. And that's yeah, that's really the. That's really the thing I tend to run really like about a quarter ahead. You know some things. I know when they are like, I know when and it's funny because they become the big rocks in my calendar in terms of like I appreciate that you know when the strategic coach workshops are, so I know to work around those. And I know when the annual event is and I know when our free zone summit is and I put those in you know, and I always tend to kind of work, I've had a tendency to kind of keep the time, keep the options open for the other times and I but I don't take that same thing of locking in my own events with with the same priority or consistency, you know. Dan: Well, I think I share that with you, that if it's just internal, you know it's me having a meeting with myself, or an activity. I'm much more negotiable with that than if it's external. I really grasp that what you're talking about there. You know I like and I like it, and that's why, you know, I try to be 100% on my commitments. Yes, if I say I'm going to be there, I'll be there. If I say I'm going to do this. I'll do it yeah. Dean: Yeah Well, that's rule number one Show up on time. Dan: Yeah, do what you say you're going to do. Dean: That's right. I'm the same way With commitments to others. I'm exactly the same right. I'm the same way With commitments to others. I'm exactly the same way. I'm very reliable, yeah. So it's a good journey. Dan: I was just reflecting. I want to give you a little progress report. I've really switched over to eating steak, having steak Do you know how I'm? I've really switched over to eating steak, you know having steak. Do you know how much time it saves you? It's incredible how much time that you save if you just eat steak. Dean: Well, the great news is I'm it sure, simplifies shopping. Absolutely. That's exactly right. My favorite staple is the thin cut ribeyes, and I know that I can do them in the air fryer they're very juicy. Dan: Oh, that's exactly right. I would do it just to squeeze the juice out of them. Oh man, that's so funny that juice is to live for, I'll tell you, yes, yes. The Babs. She'll sometimes put the steak on the plate and there's a lot of juice that comes out. Dean: You want me to pour that? Dan: I said no, that's the point of the meal Pour that on there, that's right. Dean: That was so funny, that restaurant that we went to in scottsdale the end. Dan: Isn't that a great really great and I love babs. Dean: Two extra steaks to go. That was really yeah, that's great. Dan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But boys that simplify your life, I mean I used to go to whole foods I get my haircut on in new york, new yorkville, it's right across from the court season. Dean: It's kenny connor from the. I used to go to Whole Foods. I get my haircut in. Dan: New Yorkville. It's right across from the Court Seasons. It's Kenny Connor from the Court Seasons where I get my haircut and I go down to the end of Scholar's, and that's where the Hilton. Lanes, are you? Know, and the Whole Foods is in there and I used to go in every Saturday and I'd walk around 15, 20 minutes buying this that I shouldn't eat, buying this that I shouldn't eat I shouldn't eat and take a bottle home and eat some of them and throw the rest out and everything else, and now we have a bruno's. Do you know bruno's in? Dean: toronto it goes back. Dan: It goes back 50 years yeah and uh, they have great meat department and we go in and the guy says same as usual, same as usual, yep, yep, except twice as much and hey gets it, you know. Dean: So yeah, it's really good yeah I was shocked about pusseteri's closing right there well, they didn't close. Dan: They're opening in one of those new buildings. Yeah, they had a. It was a shitty space where they were. Dean: Yeah, it was kind of awkward right. Dan: Yeah, very tiny space. So now they have it the way they wanted it. Dean: Okay, so they're still in, they're still on the island. They're closed for probably a year no but I mean they're going to be still in Yorkville. Yeah, Right on the island, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dan: So they'll have a huge space because their main store is up at Lawrence Avenue Road and that's like you know, it's a regular size supermarket. But they had this tiny little space and you know it didn't work in any way. It was just. I mean, first of all, you're paying 25, 10, 15% more if you shop at a suppository, but the whole quality of the experience was not up to what they were charging. Yeah, I went in there and they put in automatic checkouts and I said wait a minute. Now you're putting me charging. Yeah, I went in there and they put in automatic checkouts and I said wait a minute. Dean: Now you're putting me on. Dan: You're charging me 15% too much, and now you're putting me on staff. That's so funny. Dean: It's exactly right. Dan: Now I have to do checkout for you. I said no and I just stopped. I just stopped. I said I'm not going back here. That was during. And then some guy corrected me that my mask was too low on my face and I said I no, I can't. I, I can't put myself in this type of situation where I get the mask. Police are in pusitories, you know oh no, that's no good. And that was all for nothing. You know, I mean that. Quote that comment. Was it Callie Means? It was either Robert Kennedy or Callie Means. The average age of people who died during COVID. Did you catch that one? I did not. What was it? 81. At 81, you ask them for a refund. Dean: Right, oh, my goodness. Dan: I mean it's three years beyond expiry. Dean: Yeah right. Dan: I wonder how much of that you know. Dean: Though you look at, I think that 80 is the new 60, it feels like in a lot of ways. I feel that yeah, because you look at, you know, just even in that one little environment there, you know, Peter Thomas is 86 there. Dan: Yeah, and I was 80. Dean: Joel Weldon at 83. I mean, yeah, that's, those are not normal octogenarians. You know very, you know it's just and I think you see it now. You know it's just and I think you see it now. You know it's happening more. Dan: Well, and I think the other thing is that the retirement age, if I understand the logic of it, was to get the older people out of the factories, so that you wouldn't have a lot of unemployed young people. Bismarck in Germany that was, you know that was the first government that had a retirement program and a retirement policy. Now, with the low birth rates, you're going to want to keep the people in the workplace as long as you possibly can, so you're going to have a lot of 70 and 80-year-olds not retiring. First of all. I mean they've got a lot of 70 and 80 year olds not retiring. Yeah, first of all, I mean they've got a lot of experience and there's, um, you know it's, you know it's. Just, I thought immediately where I sat most was with pearson airport and air canada, the two experiences that go along together. And so, pearson airport, you have a lot of very skilled people who make sure that everything is, you know, good with the terminal, everything's working with the terminal, plus the you know, baggage is. You know the big thing, you know getting stuff off the planes really fast, getting it to the right, you know, to the right luggage rack and everything and everything. And then Air Canada, the ticketing, you know the ground crew and everything like that. And I noticed immediately that they had lost two levels of skill. Immediately during COVID, they bought off all their really high-priced pilots, they bought off all their cabin attendants, they bought off all the ticketing people, you know. You know they were like 60 they have mandatory retirement 65 and they just bought them off at 60 and it was very abrupt and it was total. And so you had people who were serving you and they were basically doing their job out of the job manual. You know they do this Well. That doesn't really give you high quality. Dean: Yeah, I mean the whole. Did you happen to see any highlights from the Mike Tyson fight the other night? Dan: No, I didn't. I didn't, I just knew he slapped him. Dean: Yeah, that was all leaving up to it. That was the way in when he stepped on his. Dan: That made sure that both of them got $30 million oh exactly. Dean: Well, that's, but I think what happened was that Jake stepped on his toe is what happened, and he slapped him, but the fight was uneventful. I mean, it was really. Dan: He won on points. Right he won on points. Jake Paul won on points. Dean: Yes, exactly, and but it was. It was sad to see Mike Tyson, you know, at 58, he really did look old like, even in his movements and the way it's like that was, it was something you could really tell the difference between 27 and 58, you know. And that's you wonder, like that's yeah, he's in peak physical condition for a 58 year old. Dan: Yeah, but it was just yeah, but your muscles are slow yeah, that's what I mean. Dean: He looked kind of no, your, no, your muscles just slowed down. Dan: Yeah, it was really interesting because I haven't run and I started running, just, you know, some attempt because of my knee. Yeah, and you know a 50-year-old injury to my knee to run again, so I was. We have quite a good size dock at the lake up north. Dean: Yeah. Dan: And so what I do is I have a rule that three seconds after I take off my sneakers, I'm in the water. I have to be in the water. Dean: You've got to do it. Take them off One, two, three go, otherwise it'll take forever. Dan: And so what? I do it at the back of the dock and I have maybe 15 feet, 15 feet, and so the moment, the thing off. I just run for the front and I jump, I jump into the water and Babs took a video of it and I looked at it and I said you don't show this to anybody, it's not. I said I am really slow, I'm really slow, I'm really slow. Yes, and part of it. You know I'm recovering from an injury. Dean: But part of it is just, I got 80-year-old muscles, you know, and they're not fast you have the memory of you know I mean you have 20-year-old tennis memories of how fast you were. Dan: Yeah, it's so funny you know so funny. That's a nice memory, but it's not a present experience, that's going to be absolutely true. Dean: It's so funny that you mentioned that is because when I was watching Mike Tyson, I was thinking to myself that's one of my aspirations. I'd love to, as I continue to lose weight and get more mobile, that I would like to you know for your running, that's my thing is to be able to get back to to play tennis well, you were in the top hundred. Dan: You were in the top hundred, weren't you amateur? Dean: no, not that high, but I was very, at a very high level. But but the you know. But to be able to get to that, knowing that my mind knows what it's like to be a 20-year-old tennis player, my mind and my muscle memory still knows exactly what to do in those situations, but it's going to be. As I watched Mike Tyson, I realized, and it's every now. And as I watched Mike Tyson, I realized, you know, and it's every now and then I'll watch these guys, I'll watch on YouTube, I'll watch some, like you know, 55 plus. You know, tennis matches are 60 plus, even them by age groups, you know. So I've been watching the 60 plus and it's amazing to see how brittle brittle is a good word, will appear to be yeah, well, the other thing you know, like the mile run you know the world record right now is three, three, four, I think 17,. Dan: You know 17 seconds under four minutes. But the oldest person in history to ever run a sub four is Amin Coughlin, irishman. I think he was at one of the East Coast United States universities and then he raced after that, but he was 43 and nobody over 43 has ever run a four minute mile. How's Daniel doing with his getting back to you know, he's in the five he's in the five minutes, five, five, five, 40, you know, and and one of the things, because he's, he's late, he's 58 or 59. And he just says you know, I just realized that it's just impossible for me ever to well he did it once, you know, he ran a 359. Dean: Yeah, but he was running. Dan: You know he was running 405, 406, 402,. You know every race and you just can't do that anymore. And you know so you have a collision between your actual performance and your memory of being fast. Dean: Yes, oh man Whoa performance and your memory of being fast. Yes, oh, man whoa. There's just kind of I'm just kind of preparing myself for the reality of that, you know, and that's yeah, but it's even apparent that you were very coordinated. Dan: I mean the way you walk and everything. Uh, you know the way my entire memory of you is mostly the last 10, 12, 12 years. And I noticed that you have very great athletic coordination, so you have that going for you. Dean: I got that going for me, that's true. Dan: Yeah, so yeah, hopefully that will. Dean: I wonder now, you know, like I wonder through do you do any mobility things like Pilates or stretching or yoga or any of those things? The only thing. Dan: I do. We have a, really we have an industrial strength. The vibration plate is about three feet by three feet and you do high intensity vibrations on it. And then I just have a pole, and then I do it in, let's say, 10 different positions. I do the pole. And that helps a lot the vibration point. I mean it makes the house, it almost makes the house rattle, almost makes the house rattle, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that's really. I do a lot of band stuff. You know where you use. You put the band about around a pole and then you can really do, yeah, so that helps a lot. I like that. Yeah and yeah. But you know, my big thing is just being productive in terms of the work, you know you know, my big thing is just being productive in terms of the work. You know, I mean I was never a competitor in any kind of individual sport. I was all team sports when I was growing up because I really liked the team Football, basketball, football, basketball and everything else. So I never, I never really was attracted to individual competitions and you know, but my big thing is just to. I've got quarterly, I've got quarterly products to produce, I've got books to produce and everything. It's just that. I'm always in a good energy, you know, good energy state for all that work. Dean: And that's great. That's why the physical, having the physical, you know physically fit body is really just for your purposes and to the brain oxygenated and carry around where you need to be right, that's really the thing. Yeah, yeah, I just had a brain MRI. Dan: I just had a brain MRI. In October I was was in nashville with david hossie and I've grown new neurons this year and I think it's from the stem cells oh, wow from the stem cells and he says you got neurons there that aren't organized. Yet he says you know? He says you're going to have to organize your neurons and I said that's a nice report. That's a nice report. Yeah, he says you're going to have to organize your neurons and I said that's a nice report, that's a nice report. And he says you're not dementia, You're not becoming demented, You're re-menting. Dean: Re-mented. I love it Re-menture. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, it's good. Dan: My memory. I do a full bank cognitive test every quarter. It's, but 19 different tests takes you about, you know, 40 minutes or an hour and my memory was way up. My verbal memory was way up and my objects you know graphic memory was way up. Dean: So that's good. Dan: And he says then you got too much, and you got too much visceral fat and you got this and I said, now let's just stick with the subject of the brain here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many 80 year olds do you have that got more brain than they had? Dean: exactly that's the. Let's focus on the positive here. Dan: Yeah, let's take our wins where we can. Yeah, it's really interesting. Yeah, but yeah, I think that we started our conversation today off with last week's Genius Network setting anywhere in the world where the people that joe had on stage with him and the quality of the discussion they were having could happen anywhere else. Dean: Yeah, no, I get you. I bet you're right. Absolutely, that's what I mean about the way joe's really elevated his ability to stand in conversation with these people, you know it's a different. It's not like as a interviewer or a journalist. He's having a real, authentic conversation with them and it's fascinating. Yeah, it's good to see. Dan: Yeah Well, I bet there's sleepless nights going on in Washington DC these days, have you? Dean: seen the things, the memes of who Robert Kennedy is replacing, like they showed the minister of health or whoever the health and human services lead, is now compared to Robert Kennedy. It's funny. Dan: Oh yeah. Dean: Yeah Well, it's a nice thing that happened. Dan: You know, and you know Jeff Hayes, you know one of our colleagues in that time. I mean, he was really instrumental in, you know, getting him so far that he would become in a position where he could do a collaboration with Trump you know, yeah, Trump's the kind of guy you know. He doesn't care what shape or form the talent comes in. Dean: That's exactly right. Dan: It's kind of interesting because when I spoke to Robert Kennedy just briefly and I said in 1962, I was working at the FBI in Washington and I had to go over to the Department of Justice in Washington and I had to go over to the Department of Justice, we had a sort of a tour of part of the history of the FBI and it was in the Department of Justice building and Robert Kennedy happened to walk by in the hallway. His father walked by, so that was 1962. And I said really interesting, 62 years later and he'll have far more influence in his new position than his father ever had. Dean: Yeah, I bet you're absolutely right, for sure, yeah, awesome, yep, so we'll be so we'll have. Dan: No, I won't do it next week, right exactly. Well, I can do the. I can do the two weeks, two weeks from today. I can do it next week, right exactly well, I can do the. Dean: I can do the two weeks, two weeks from today. I can do it, okay, if you're available. Yeah, absolutely yeah that would be fantastic. Okay, all right, see you then okay, thanks dan, bye okay.

Question – When is Christmas not Christmas? When is Christmas anything but Christmas? Answer – when we just follow the well-trodden paths of the Christmas ritual, and forget completely what God was saying to us on that very first Christmas.   THE PROBLEM WITH CHRISTMAS I don't know if you've ever thought of this but Christmas is a real problem for guys like me, preachers I mean. Year after year, we have to crank out yet another Christmas series. And for the first few years, that's pretty easy but then after a while you start thinking to yourself, "Well, how am I going to put a new twist on Christmas this year?" Last year, I approached it from this perspective, the year before from that perspective, the year before that from ... well, you get the picture. There are only so many different perspectives on Christmas. Well, we've all been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Yeah, so it's Christmas again, so what? If you live in the Northern Hemisphere it's an excuse for a few days off. If you live in the Southern Hemisphere as I do, it's probably the summer holidays that you're looking forward to more than Christmas itself. A chance for a decent break, a bit of a much-needed R and R and sure Christmas is part of that but the Christmas bit can be a bit of a hassle. Buying presents, figuring out who has Christmas lunch with whom and then perhaps scooting off to Christmas dinner with another part of your family. Kids, uncles, aunts, grandparents – it all gets complicated. And then there's the fact not everybody in the family gets on. You know Christmas day is one of the peak times of the year for domestic violence. Even if it doesn't get that bad you know there are going to be clashes or you're going to have to smile sweetly at someone that you don't really like or you just know that so and so is going to have too much to drink again this year. Those are the burdens that many people carry into Christmas, it's just the reality of life. So as things turn out, Christmas isn't just a problem for preachers like me who have to dream up something fresh and new each year, it's a problem for many, many people. I heard someone say once, a Bible believing Christian she was, "I hate Christmas, I wish we could just skip over it." It's pretty sad but it's the reality for many people even those who actually believe in Jesus. So Christmas gets something of a bad rap, I wonder how many people who are out there who would just love to skip Christmas. I wonder? Well, as you look ahead to the next ten days or so in the run up to Christmas, I wonder how you're feeling about it all, exhausted, frustrated, anxious, stressed. What are the emotions that generally accompany this thing we call Christmas in your heart in your life? What are you feeling? Is Christmas a problem for you? Can I be honest here? I struggle with the kids pantomime version of Christmas. I struggle with the whole Carols by Candlelight phenomenon around Christmas where people get together in parks and sing Christmas carols as though they believe them, when most of the entertainers up on the stage and on our television screens don't have the remotest faith that Jesus is actually the Son of God. It's like we wrap this whole Christmas in tinsel and lights and tie a neat bow around it. And we make it out to be this happy time, when the truth is, for many people, well, they struggle with Christmas. Now I don't mean to be a Christmas Grinch here. Personally, I love singing Christmas carols because they mean something to me but what I really want to know is why don't we sing Christmas carols all year round? Why don't we celebrate the coming of Jesus all year round? I remember hosting a Christmas in July service at our Church some years back. It's a bit of a phenomenon down under as many restaurants put on Christmas dinners in the middle of winter when it's cold and at the service we actually sung Christmas carols. I can't tell you the number of people who came up to me afterwards and told me how weird it was singing Silent Night in the middle of July. Yeah, we wrap a whole bunch of rituals up in a nice neat package in December and we call it Christmas. And it's all supposed to be sweetness and light and yet how much of it really, really, really speaks into our hearts about the wonder of what God did on that first Christmas? What I want to do today is to unsettle you, to drag you out of your Christmas ritual comfort zone and ask you, "Why do you do what you do at Christmas time? Why are you racing around buying presents for people who don't really need anything? Why do you put tinsel and Christmas decorations around your house and maybe even a Christmas wreath on your front door? What are the candles and the Christmas tree and presents and all that food really about? What do you do it for?" If you stripped away all that packaging and paraphernalia what would Christmas actually be for you? Luke 2: 8-14: In that region there were shepherds living in the fields keeping watch over their flocks by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified but the angel said to them, "don't be afraid, for see I am bringing good news of great joy for all people. For to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour who is the Messiah, the Lord." "This will be a sign for you, you'll find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger" and suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God and saying, "glory to God in the highest heaven and on earth peace among those whom he favours." So if you took the packaging and the paraphernalia and the ritual and the racing around away, is that what Christmas would mean to you? Would you in your heart shout out, "Glory to God in the highest heaven. Glory, glory, glory. Hallelujah?" Because if not, don't you think you just might be wasting your time with all this Christmas nonsense that you go through each year? All this pressure you put yourself under, all these presents you buy and the money you spend and the decorations you put up and the food that you stuff yourself with – is that what Christmas is all about? Or in your heart, is it about the coming of Jesus Christ, the Son of God to be the Saviour of this world? The biggest Christmas gift of all history – the Son of God given to all humanity, given to you and given to me. So let me ask you, what is your Christmas all about?   THE PROPHECIES OF OLD I guess when it comes to this whole Christmas thing; we see it from where we sit. And for most of us, our perspective (our take on Christmas) comes through the ritual that surrounds it – a ritual that we've acted out year after year for as long as we can remember. Sure, it's changed a bit. When we were kids it was all about the excitement of presents. But you know the deal, you know all the things that you do in the weeks leading up to Christmas, you know how Christmas Day is going to pan out. You know the carols you're going to sing and the food that you're going to eat and the people you're going to celebrate Christmas with. If it's at all possible, this exciting celebration of Christmas has become something of a routine for you. A bit of a contradiction but it's true for most of us, life is full of contradictions right? When it comes to Christmas we kind of narrow our view, we lower our gaze and focus on the well-worn familiar path of the Christmas ritual. Whatever that looks like for each one of us, we narrow our perspective and like Pavlov's dogs we get on with that part of life and in many respects, that's how it was on that very first Christmas two thousand odd years ago. Although it wasn't called Christmas back then. In fact, the first record of there being some celebration of Christmas doesn't appear until 354 AD, three and a half centuries after the birth of Jesus. And of course many of the modern-day traditions of Christmas that we celebrate on December 25th – for instance, eating turkey, having a Christmas tree, Santa Claus, presents, tinsel, lights, all of those are much, much more recent. In fact, the Christmas ritual that you and I take for granted today, as though it's been around forever, is little more than a hundred years old, it's a bit of a surprise, isn't it? But let's wind the clock back even further to that first Christmas. People by and large were just going on with their daily business. The big news in town was of course the census. The Romans had ordered a stock take of all the people and in the absence of the technology we use today, the way you did it back then was to go back to your ancestral home. And in the case of Joseph and therefore Mary, his embarrassingly pregnant betrothed, that meant going back to Bethlehem. The inns were full, the shepherds were out doing what shepherds did, tending their flocks in the field by night. Other than the disruption of the census, it was pretty much business as usual. And then wham, the light show in the skies in front of these shepherds. God broke into that "business as usual" in a spectacular way. You know what, I'm praying for this Christmas, God is going to break into your "business as usual" in a spectacular way too. All these people were just living their lives, just like we do, head down, doing stuff that they did day after day when all along God had promised a Saviour. There are quite a number of prophecies in what we now call the Old Testament (the Scriptures to the Jewish people) of the coming of a Saviour and principle among them is that He would be born in Bethlehem, Micah 5: 2-5: But you O Bethlehem of Ephrathah who are one of the little clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to rule in Israel whose origin is of old from ancient days. Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is in labour has brought forth then the rest of his kindred shall return to the people of Israel and he shall stand and feed his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God and they shall live secure for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth and he shall be the one of peace. The prophecy of the coming of the Saviour in great power in this tiny humble little village of Bethlehem and by the way the word Bethlehem means literally "the house of bread". Remember how Jesus said, "I am the bread of life." How appropriate that He should be born in Bethlehem – the house of bread. And then there was the prophecy that He would be born to a virgin, now that's pretty outrageous when you think about it, Isaiah chapter 7:14: Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Look the virgin woman is with child and shall bear a son and shall name him Immanuel which means 'God is with us. And that is, of course, exactly what happened. There are quite a few more prophecies about the birth of Jesus that were given centuries before that He fulfilled – His lineage, the slaughter of the infants by Herrod, His need to flee to Egypt. The bottom line was that there were plenty of signs, plenty of prophecies, plenty of predictions. Okay they were cryptic. I mean God revealed His Son in mystery and wonder. We always try to analyse God and put Him in a box. We try and figure out how He operates and then make a bunch of rules about Him. But you can't do that with God. He does startling, creative, outrageous things like sending His Son, Jesus as the son of a carpenter in humble circumstances in some shed out the back of Bethlehem. But the picture was always there, the big plan was always there. God had given some predictions about what was going to happen even as way back as His promise to Abraham. Right back there in the first Book of the Bible, the Book of Genesis, God said to him, "Through you all nations shall be blessed" pointing forward to Jesus. But the people were just chugging along, business as usual and it was difficult (if not, impossible) for many of them to see, to perceive, to understand. Not all of them had the light show like the shepherds and the wise men. As I look at the world today, it seems to me that still today most are asleep to what God did back then and what God is doing now. The only difference is that we know the whole story, we know what was going on and how it ends. So as this Christmas approaches, you find yourself asleep to the wonder of what God is doing then let me say to you with all love and with all care, "Wake up. Don't be asleep through yet another Christmas." The wonder and the power of what God did back then, the doors that He opened for you through the coming of Jesus, the joy of what He brings to you today, the unspeakable glory that He opens up through His Son for you to spend eternity with Him, why would you want to sleep through that? Why would you want to be blind to that? Those prophecies of old which is the faintest hint of what was to come. But now we know, now we can see … the sheer wonder.   THE REALITIES OF LIFE There is something incredibly powerful about "business as usual". If you think about how your life has played itself out, so far, I suspect that it's been ninety nine percent humdrum and about half a percent of wonderful mountain top joy and another half a percent of tragedy and loss. Sure, some people seem to have better lives than others. Some are born rich, some are born poor and very sadly for some people life is one long tragedy. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take all that away for those people who find themselves in that boat. But I just can't and yet for most of us, most of our lives are occupied by the normal every day, business as usual, monotony which consumes most of our time, most of our attention and most of our focus. Am I right? But beneath that monotony there is always, always, always a sneaking suspicion that there must be more. You've had that feeling, right? This sense that something is oppressing you, something is sidling you out of the sort of life that you think you should be living. There are in fact very few people on planet earth today that don't have that feeling. I used to have it but I don't have it anymore. I've always been someone who's tried to get out there and live life to the full. And all along, as hard as I tried, something was missing, things weren't quite right and I couldn't put my finger on it. I want to wind the clock back to what was going on in the history of Israel around when Jesus was born. Not just the history of the nation but the lives of the ordinary people like you and me. In fact there's a particular bunch of guys I want to focus on because they, to me, exemplify this "business as usual" but something was not quite right in their world. What am I yabbering on about here? I'm talking, of course, about the shepherds who were out watching their flocks by night. Now, no doubt you've sung the Christmas carol many times and heard their story many times. By the way, the fact that they were out there watching their flocks by night makes it pretty certain that Jesus wasn't born in December, Israel's winter. Average December maximums of fifteen degrees Celsius or around sixty degrees Fahrenheit and of course nights were quite a bit cooler. So in winter they generally brought their sheep into town where there was a communal pen where they were cared for overnight. So even though we celebrate Christmas in December, it probably didn't happen then on the first Christmas. Anyhow, here were these guys living out their "business as usual" tending their flocks by night but they weren't living as free men, they were living as men in an occupied country. The Romans of course had occupied and ruled most of the known world back then. And in fact, the Romans had been the rulers for the last sixty or seventy years in Israel. Now, in the overall history of Israel that's pretty short but for those shepherds it was all that they could remember. The Romans were tough task masters and what made it even harder for the Israelites is that they knew they were God's chosen people. They knew they were meant to be free and so they expected, kind of, sort of, maybe one day for God to send them a King – a Messiah, as He was called back then, God's anointed King – in order to boot the Romans out and restore the kingdom of Israel, to set God's people free. After all, God had done it before. He'd set them free from captivity in Egypt. He'd set them free from captivity in Babylon. He'd set them free from the Seleucid Empire through the Maccabean Revolt only a century and a half before. That was their simplistic understanding of what should be going on. So there they were, business as usual. But something wasn't quite right, they were oppressed and that simply wasn't the way it should have been. They were being robbed of the freedom, the life that they knew they were entitled to as God's chosen people. Does that sound vaguely familiar to you? Does that sound like anyone that you know? Now, people back then were kind of expecting this Messiah to come. But when you and I used this term "Messiah" we think of Jesus, right? That's not who they were thinking about at all. They were thinking more about a strong warrior king, someone like King David of old who could muster an army, defeat the Romans and set the people free. After all, isn't that what God promised to David years before? 2 Samuel 7: 12 and 13, He said to David: When your days are fulfilled and you lie down with your ancestors I will raise up your offspring after you who shall come forth from your body and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for my name and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. So in effect, they were looking in the wrong direction for a saviour because they misinterpreted what God was on about. They thought they were going to get another King David. Again a bit like, in fact a lot like people today, that's what was going on in the popular consciousness of ordinary people like those 'business as usual' shepherds back then and in many respects it's what's going on in the popular consciousness of ordinary people today. People are looking for someone or something to set things right. They know that life is not all it should be so they turn to money or career or reputation or luxury or holidays or friends, you name it. They turn to it expecting "it" to make things better but it never does. People have been looking in the wrong direction for a Saviour for thousands of years just like those shepherds and then God breaks into the world with such power and with such might and in such a surprising way that we can't even begin to imagine what He's up to. Luke 2: 8-14: In that region were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night then an angel of the Lord stood before them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified but the angel said to them, 'don't be afraid for see I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people. To you is born this day in the City of David a Saviour who is the Messiah, the Lord. This Messiah, this Saviour, He wasn't what they expected Him to be – He still isn't what we expect Him to be. What are you expecting Jesus to be? As we roll inexorably towards Christmas, yet again, what are you expecting to discover or are you so busy looking in a different direction that you're going to miss this amazing surprise in Jesus? Or are you running away as I was for many years because like the shepherds I was kind of afraid? This idea of God breaking into history by becoming one of us is too startling and too incomprehensible to begin to make sense. Just listen with me quietly to what the angel went on to say to those startled, frightened, 'business as usual', confused shepherds. Luke 2: 15 – 20: This will be a sign for you, you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger. And so ... When the angels had left them and gone into heaven the shepherds said to one another, 'let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has taken place which the Lord has made known to us'. So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph and a child lying in a manger. When they saw this they made known what had been told to them about this child and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them. Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen as it had been told to them. (Luke 2: 15 – 20) Seems to me that you and I, like the shepherds, have a choice. We can continue to get on with business as usual, stay in our field and ignore Jesus. Or, we can go and check Him out for ourselves. The only question that I'd ask is this; so how well has your 'business as usual' worked out for you so far?

Though Karen did research and took birthing classes before her first baby, she didn't realize how much advocating for herself could change the course of her birth. She wanted to be the “good” patient and told herself she could do without the things her body told her she needed during labor. Karen ended up pushing for over four hours and consenting to what she was told was an emergency C-section, even though the actual surgery didn't happen until hours later.Karen had some serious postpartum symptoms of swelling and difficulty breathing that were dismissed and even laughed at until things came to a point where she knew something was very wrong. She was diagnosed with postpartum cardiomyopathy, admitted to the ICU, and transferred to cardiac care. Doctors told Karen very different things about her condition. She went from being told not to have any more children to hearing that VBAC was absolutely safe. Karen discusses how her gestational hypertension came into play with the different advice as well. Karen found her voice. She advocated for herself. She knew what her body was saying and what it was capable of. Her labor was so smooth and she WAS able to birth vaginally!Informed Pregnancy PlusNeeded WebsiteHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details 3:46 Review of the Week06:27 Karen's stories08:50 First labor10:47 Pushing for four hours15:11 Karen's C-section17:43 Postpartum swelling and difficulty breathing21:03 Fluid in her lungs23:52 Moving to Florida and getting answers25:13 Getting pregnant again29:53 Advocating for a VBAC32:14 A spiritual dream34:34 Gestational hypertension39:36 Signing an AMA41:31 Going to the hospital45:20 Pushing for 20 minutes47:30 White coat syndrome51:59 Symptoms of hypertension and preeclampsia54:52 Tips for hypertension and preeclampsia 56:55 Karen's final tipsMeagan: Hello, hello. We are getting into almost our 300th episode, you guys. Every single time I'm recording and I'm looking at these numbers, I am blown away. I cannot believe that we have almost put out 300 episodes. Oh my goodness. I am so glad that you are here. I have this energy this year. I don't know what it is. You'll have to let me know if you notice it, but I have this energy every time I'm recording this podcast. 2024 is vibing. I'm vibing with it. I'm really liking it. We have our friend Karen and are you from Florida, Karen? Karen: Yep. I'm in Orlando, Florida. Meagan: Florida. That's what I was thinking. So if we have Florida mamas looking for providers, this is definitely an episode. I feel like probably weekly we would get 10 messages asking about providers and Florida is huge so Florida is actually one that is really common where we are getting messages for supportive providers. So Karen, along the way, if you feel to name-drop some providers that are supportive, feel free to do so but we are going to get into sharing her story in just one moment because we do have a Review of the Week. 3:46 Review of the Week Meagan: This is from louuuhuuuu. So louuuhuuuu, thank you for your review. They say that this is “very inspirational.” It says, “I knew I wanted a VBAC with my third pregnancy, but I wasn't sure if it was possible. However, I knew I didn't feel like being flat-out told, ‘No' at the first appointment. Listening to the podcast was definitely the start of me really researching birth and looking into my options. I ended up with a successful HBA2C and I definitely don't think I would have had the courage or believed it was possible without this podcast. Thank you, Meagan, for all of the work that you do to provide this information.” I love that review so much. I think that through time in my own research, I was told no. I wasn't told, “No, no.” I was told, “Sure, probably yeah. You could VBAC,” but I never really got that positive vibe. I feel like this community that we have created with all of the people on the podcast and all of the people in the community on Facebook truly is something that I lacked when I was preparing for my VBAC. I'm so grateful that we have this community for you today. Thank you, louuuuhuuuu, and huge congrats on your HBAC, your home birth after two Cesareans. If you didn't what HBA2C meant, that's home birth after two Cesareans. Just like louuuhuuuu, you can too. Make sure to follow us in our Facebook community. You can find it at The VBAC Link Community on Facebook. Answer all of the questions and we will let you in. You can find out as well that it is possible. VBAC is possible. 06:27 Karen's storiesMeagan: Okay, Karen. Welcome to the show and thank you so much for taking the time to share your story today, well your stories today. Karen: Yeah. Thank you for having me. It's a little wild actually being on your show. I've been thinking about what I was going to say even before you invited me like, “What would I say if I finally get my VBAC? It's crazy to actually be sharing my story now so I'm really excited to be talking to you today.” Meagan: Well I'm so excited that you are here and sharing your inspirational message. You know, going through your submission, it sounds so similar to so many of us. You went in for a totally planned unmedicated birth that switched to the complete opposite where you had a C-section. There are so many of us. When I was reading that, I was like, “I bet I could probably find hundreds of stories not even just in our own community that start out like that.” Karen: Yes. That's why I love listening to your podcast so much because for the first time, I didn't feel alone. But yeah. I can get into my story now if you'd like. Meagan: Yes. I would love it. Karen: Okay. So back in August– or, I'm sorry. My son was due in August 2023. This was our first baby and he was a little bit of a surprise baby, but he was very much welcome and we were excited for him. At the time, we were living in Virginia. My husband had just gotten out of the Navy and he was about to start law school. I did prepare for the birth but I don't think I prepared enough. I took a Hypnobirthing class and the doula who was leading the class was super supportive. She was just like, “You're just going to birth beautifully. I can just tell.” The midwives, the nurses at the practice were like, “Oh, you're going to birth beautifully. I can just tell.” I just kept hearing that over and over again. My ego was a little over-inflated and I was like, “I don't need to do much. I've got this.” I don't think I was prepared enough. I didn't know what I was really getting into. 08:50 First laborKaren: So when I actually started going into labor, I got there way too early. I got to the hospital too early. Like you mentioned, I wanted an unmedicated birth. I got there, I think my contractions were about every seven minutes. Now I know that I definitely should have waited at home longer. But everything seemed to be going well. I arrived. They admitted me. They seemed a little bit hesitant, but they were like, “Oh, well she's in labor. Let's just bring her in.” My water broke on its own that afternoon. Things seemed to be going well until the pain really started kicking in. I had a really hard time working through the pain even with everything I learned in HypnoBirthing. I still hadn't quite found my voice yet, my mama voice. I couldn't tell people, “Hey, you're distracting me. I'm trying to do HypnoBirthing.” I felt embarrassed about putting up the sign outside my door saying, “Hey, HypnoBirthing in progress. Please keep quiet.” I just didn't speak up. I was just trying to be a good girl and just listen to what everyone says. I heard so many times in different episodes being a good girl and just doing what I've been told. Meagan: Right. We are people pleasers. I think a lot of us are people pleasers. We don't want to ruffle feathers. We want to stay in line. We want to follow this path that we are being told we have to stay on. Karen: Yes. I mean, I just didn't realize it was something I needed to form as a mama to be able to stand up for myself because pretty soon there was going to be a baby that needed me to stand up for them. Like I said, during the birth, there were just so many distractions, people coming in and out, nurses, and visitors. It was too much. I did end up getting an epidural because I just couldn't hold out any longer. 10:47 Pushing for four hoursKaren: Around 2:00 AM, the labor and delivery nurse told me, “Oh, you need to start pushing.” I was on my back. I pushed for about two hours. I had some breaks but the baby was just stuck. For part of it, we could see that he was crowning but he just would not come out. During this entire time, no one really looked at me. I just had this one labor and delivery nurse. She was so sweet, but the midwife didn't come by. The OB didn't come by. No one really came by and I wanted to move into different positions. I felt my body telling me, “Hey, try this. Try this,” and they would tell me, “You can't move. You have to stay like that.” I pushed for four hours. Baby was in distress. I felt fine but the midwife came in and told me, “You're going to need a C-section.” This was the first time I had seen her. She told me. Meagan: Wow. Karen: Yeah. So she says, “You need a C-section. He's not going to come out vaginally.” I didn't know. I didn't know what to do. I mean, I felt that was my only option. I got really upset. I started crying. I felt like a failure. I know now that I'm not a failure. That wasn't it. But that's how I felt at the moment and my husband was devastated. He was such an amazing birth partner and he felt like he failed me. I was like, “No. You didn't fail either,” but at that moment, we just felt so let down that one, I had to ask for an epidural, and two that I was going to need a C-section. Karen: They told me. I don't remember if the word “emergency” was used or not, but they made me feel like it was an emergency and it needed to happen immediately. When I look at the paperwork and all of that stuff, I'm like, “Where was the urgency?” Because the C-section didn't happen until 10:00 AM. Meagan: Yeah. That's not an emergency. This is another thing that I'm going to be honest– it irks me because there are so many of us who are told it is an emergency. When we hear “emergency”, what do we think? Panic. Scary. Right? We divert into asking– divert. I don't know if that's the right word. We stop asking questions and we say, “Okay. Okay. Okay,” because it's an emergency and we are told that. Karen: Exactly. Meagan: I think a lot of times, truly that we are told it is an emergency and that offers some sort of– it's weird, but some sort of validation where it's like, “But it's an emergency, so okay.” We just agree and then we are grateful. We look at them in a way because it's an emergency so they are saving. Does this make sense? I don't know. Karen: No, it does. To me, when I think about it now, it feels like manipulation. Meagan: Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It can be. Truly, there are real emergent Cesareans. Karen: Agreed. Meagan: We are so grateful for Cesareans that can help us and those are real, true emergent situations, but so many of us are told it's an emergency and then like you said, it's 10:00 AM or they come in and they're like, “We need to shave you,” and it's like, “Okay, that's not an emergency.” If they have time to shave you, talk with you, and leave you for four hours, no. It's not an emergency. Karen: Exactly. So if I had known what I know now, I would have asked for my options, asked to push and change positions. There are so many things I would have done but like you said, I thought it was an emergency. I was treating my baby in danger. I need to do this now even though there was nothing wrong with the baby. There wasn't. Meagan: Or you. Karen: Mhmm, exactly. His heart was fine. Everything was fine as far as I could see as far as I remember, as far as the paperwork says, so it doesn't make sense anymore to me. But yeah. 15:11 Karen's C-sectionKaren: My husband was told to dress in scrubs while they prepped me and then I asked the nurse to make sure that no one was in the room when I got back. When we came back to surgery, they wheeled me over to the OR and they were just checking to see that the epidural was still good. I could feel them touching my belly. I told them and that's the last thing I remember. The next thing I know, I just hear a baby crying in the distance. I was waking up in a different room and there were just these two nurses chatting about their day. To me, it was traumatizing. I couldn't even process what was going on and what happened. That was just so, so scary. Meagan: I'm so sorry. Karen: Yeah. Sorry. So then they wheeled me out and that's where my husband and our whole family were waiting. I was so frustrated because I told the nurse I didn't want anyone here. I knew I would be upset after the C-section and there was everyone in the room waiting. I also found out that my baby got passed around so I didn't even get to be the first to hold him. That was so extremely upsetting. I told my husband, “I want everyone out.” Everyone left and it was just me and my husband and our baby, Luke. We were there for about 15 minutes before they started to prep me to move the recovery room and I was like, “Wait a minute. I thought I got a golden hour where I would get to be alone with the baby for an hour.” They were like, “Oh yeah, you can do that in the recovery room,” and they just wheeled me over. I get so sad when I look at pictures of that time because my baby is so beautiful. I love him so much, but I felt so drugged up that I couldn't connect with him. You can see it in the pictures. I just look like I don't know where I am. I'm in pain. It's just not what I imagined that experience to be. Meagan: Right. Karen: I definitely felt robbed of an experience. I felt extremely traumatized. That was hard in and of itself, but I was trying to come to terms with what happened. It was just a very rough time in the hospital. We had some family drama as well so that didn't help. Meagan: No. Karen: I was discharged less than 48 hours later which now I know is way too early considering the symptoms I was feeling. 17:43 Postpartum swelling and difficulty breathingKaren: My legs were extremely swollen. My whole body was extremely swollen. It didn't even look like I had given birth because I was just swollen all over. One nurse even made fun of my legs and she was like, “They look like baseball bats.” She was just tapping them.Meagan: That's a warning sign. That's something to think about. Karen: Well, I didn't know that. Meagan: Well, of course, you didn't, but as a professional, she shouldn't be tapping on your legs. She should be like, “Hmm, was this like this?” Karen: I've told other medical professionals that story and they are horrified. They are like, “That was a big warning sign something was wrong,” but they discharged me regardless. I felt so completely unprepared. It was just a very bad experience all around. They didn't have a lactation consultant working over the weekend so my baby was crying and crying and crying. He wasn't getting enough to eat when he was breastfeeding. They were just laughing and saying, “Oh, all moms feel like that. He's getting enough to eat.” Sure enough, my son was jaundiced and his pediatrician was like, “No, he needs formula. He's not getting enough to eat.” He had a significant tongue tie so he was not getting enough to eat. When I got home, like I said, baby was starving. I'm not getting any sleep. When he does fall asleep, I can't sleep. I remember explaining to different people like, “I'm having trouble breathing every time I lay down.” Everyone was just like, “Oh yeah. New mom, new baby. Totally normal.” Meagan: What? It is not normal to not feel like you can't breathe. Karen: You're going to love this then. At one point, I called the nurse hotline at the hospital because they gave it to me when I was discharged. I told the nurse, “When I lay down, I can't breathe. It feels like I can't breathe.” Her response was, “Oh, sometimes new moms don't know how pain feels like.” I was just like, “Okay, I guess this is just me.” She was like, “Technically, we're supposed to tell you to come to the hospital if you are having trouble breathing.” Meagan: Technically. Karen: Technically. So I was trying to be the good girl and trying not to ruffle any feathers and I was just like, “Okay. I'll keep pushing through,” but the moment I realized things were not good, I was extremely depressed. I thought that I was going to die and leave my child alone. I was having horrible thoughts like that. Then I realized, “I'm starting to hallucinate.” So after three days of not sleeping, there was one incident where I heard my baby crying and screaming. I went over to the bassinet to look at him and he's sleeping peacefully, but I can still hear him crying and screaming clearly. I'm like, “That's not normal.” 21:03 Fluid in her lungsKaren: Once he woke up because I was trying to be a good new mom, so once he woke up, I packed myself up and my mom and I went to the ER. I explained to them, “I'm not getting sleep. I can't sleep. Every time I lay down, I can't breathe.” They were like, “Okay. Maybe you have a blood clot.” They took me back. They did an MRI scan and when I was lying down for the scan, I started taking these small quick breaths and the nurse was like, “Are you having a panic attack? What's going on?” I go, “I can't breathe.” She finally was the one that was just like, “There is something deeply wrong here. This is not normal at all.” I loved her. She really pushed to make sure that I got seen quickly. They determined that I was experiencing congestive heart failure. The way they explained it is my heart was not pumping strong enough I guess. It wasn't pumping right so that's why I was having trouble breathing because my lungs were filling up with fluid. They were able to give me medication. It was Lasix to help push out all of the fluid. I was kept at the ICU for two nights then they transferred me to the cardiac wing of the hospital. I was there four nights total because they just wanted to keep an eye on my blood pressure and this obviously wasn't normal what was happening. My blood pressure was through the roof. That was a really, really difficult time because one, I was away from my new baby and then I had three different doctors tell me, “There is something wrong with your heart. You won't be able to have more children. Your heart can't handle it.” That was distressing because my husband and I dreamed of having a big family and we were thinking, “This might be our last child.” But weirdly enough, my OB– the one who performed the C-section– disagreed. I don't like how he said this, but he was like, “Oh, don't be dramatic. It was just a little extra fluid. You're fine.” I was like, “Okay.” He said, “You can have a VBAC. You can have as many children as you want. You're going to be fine.” I wasn't a fan of him but that was interesting that he had told me, “You're going to be a great VBAC candidate.” He kind of put that idea in my head. He said that the only reason my son got stuck was because he was 9 pounds, 15 ounces so basically a 10-pounder. I was like, “Okay.” I didn't know what I know now, but that's the reason they gave me. 23:52 Moving to Florida and getting answersKaren: Eventually, we moved to Florida because I'm from Florida so I felt more comfortable with the medical care there. I just kept finding out different ways that I was failed by the medical system back in Virginia. My primary doctor determined that I had postpartum depression. My son was already two years old when she discovered that. It was just like, “Oh, okay.” Here's some medication. Now I feel like myself again. It made me realize, “Okay, what else do I need to look into?” I got a cardiologist. She was saying, “There is nothing wrong with your heart.” She can't definitively say because she wasn't there, but she was like, “They put too many fluids in your body. You are fine. There is nothing wrong with your heart.” She was just like, “You're good to go. You can have a VBAC. You can have another C-section. You can do whatever you want. You're fine. We can keep an eye on you, but you're okay.” I started seeing an OB and I told her everything that happened and I was just like, “I want a VBAC.” I told her everything the cardiologist said, gave her all of the paperwork and she was like, “Yeah. You can totally have a VBAC.” So with both of their blessings, I was like, “Okay. Let's try for baby number two. I'm okay. I'm healthy. I'm fine.” 25:13 Getting pregnant againKaren: So I got pregnant with baby number two and that was very exciting. I thought everything was going well then at 20 weeks, my OB said, “Unfortunately, I can't be your doctor anymore. This practice cannot deliver you. You are too high of a risk for this office.” Meagan: For the office. Karen: Yes. Yes. They only delivered at these smaller boutique hospitals so they said that I needed to deliver at a high-risk hospital or a hospital that accepts high-risk patients. Meagan: Okay, got you. I got you. Karen: I got a little tongue-tied. They told me I needed to deliver at a different hospital that I didn't want to deliver at. I was like, “If I'm going to deliver at a big hospital, it's going to be Winnie Palmer in Orlando.” I'm a huge fan of theirs. So I was just like, “Okay. I can't deliver with this office even though they've been aware of all my situations for a while. I'll find a different office.” But I was already 20 weeks so it's really hard to find a provider at 20 weeks. Meagan: It can be, yeah. Karen: The other disappointing thing they told me is, “Oh, by the way, you can't have any more children. You really shouldn't because, with everything that is going on with you, your body can't handle it.” It was just like, I don't understand where this is coming from. You've been telling me I've been okay. My cardiologist says I've been okay. I didn't really get what was going on. Karen: I called around and only one clinic would take me when I was that far along with this high-risk label on me. Meagan: I was going to say the label. That's exactly the word I was going to say. Karen: Yeah. I didn't feel like it really fit, but that's what they said I was. I found a big practice that had lots of doctors. It is a very prominent practice here in Orlando and I felt like I just had to settle. The first doctor I met with I was already frustrated because I asked for a female doctor and they gave me a male doctor. I don't have anything against male doctors, I just feel more comfortable with a female doctor but he was just like, “Oh. You can't VBAC at all. You had a vertical incision so you have to have a repeat C-section.” I was like, “I don't– I've never heard anyone say that. Where does it say that in my medical records?” He was just like, “I don't see it in your records, but this other doctor said that you had a vertical incision.” I'm like, “Well, how does she know that?” So I had to go and start pulling all of these records and got the surgical notes for my C-section and everything and finally, I found something that said I did not have a vertical incision so once I showed it to him, he was just like, “Oh, okay. Well, you still can't VBAC. Your hips are too tiny. You can't deliver a baby.” Meagan: Oh my goodness, just pulling them all out. Let me just shift this jar around and pull out the next reason. Karen: Yes. I was just like, “Are you serious? Okay.” Meagan: Goodness. 29:53 Advocating for a VBACKaren: So me and my husband were like, “No. I want to try. We want to try.” I'm so glad my husband was there because he is always so good at being an advocate for me. He was just like, “No. She wants a VBAC. What can we do to make it happen?” So he said, “Well, your weight is one thing because your baby was so big the first time because you gained a lot of weight. We can help you try but if after two hours of pushing you can't get that baby out, we're going to give you a C-section.” It was very frustrating, but I felt like I really had no choice. Meagan: Yeah. Karen: I hadn't discovered you yet so I was just like, “Okay. I guess it is what it is. I will try my best to have a VBAC, but this guy's going to stop me.” So I was very blessed that due to a scheduling issue, I had an appointment with a totally different doctor. She was this young female doctor. She was around my age and I felt like I could relate to her. I just really enjoyed talking to her. I don't know if this has something to do with it, but my background is I am Japanese and Colombian and she was Asian, so it was just like, “Okay. I have someone else who is a person of color who understands at least the cultural differences.” So I don't know if that really had anything to do with anything, but it did make me feel more comfortable with her.Meagan: Which is important. Karen: Yes. After years of different doctors telling me there was something wrong with me, it was so nice to have her say to me, “Oh. You want a VBAC? Yeah. You are super healthy. You are going to be fine.” It was just like, “Oh my gosh. You think I'm healthy? Every doctor had been telling me that I'm overweight. There's something wrong with my heart. There's something wrong,” and she was telling me that I was healthy. That just made me so inspired and I just became a lot more proactive with my health. I didn't feel like things had to happen to me. I felt like I had a lot more control over my situation. 32:14 A spiritual dreamKaren: There was also one other event that happened and this was around Christmas. I'm a Christian, so we've been going to God a lot with prayers and I have been asking for a successful VBAC. So Christmas morning, I woke up to a dream but it didn't feel like a dream. It felt more like a vision and I was giving birth vaginally to a little girl. In the dream, I had the knowledge that this was going to be my third child. I was like, “Wait a second. But I'm pregnant right now with my second child. How did that birth go?” I just was told by God, “Oh, that birth went well too. You're going to be fine. You're going to be happy. You're going to have many children.” So I woke up so happy that Christmas morning. I told my husband with everything I've been battling and all of these negative thoughts, there is no way that this could have been something I produced myself or just dreamed of myself because it was such a positive, happy dream when before that, I had just been having constant nightmares about C-sections.It was just this moment of, “Okay. God really is with us and he's going to make sure everything is okay.” So yeah, between having this great doctor and then having that dream, I just was more motivated to really take control of the situation like, “Okay. I don't have to let things happen to me. What can I do?” Which actually led me to The VBAC Link. I was already 33 weeks pregnant when I found you guys so it was kind of late in the game, but I'm so glad I did. I listened to The VBAC Link obsessively in the car, when I was walking my dog, all the time and I would just hear these different stories and notate, “Okay. This is what she did. This is how she got results. This is what happened to her.” I started taking all of these notes about how I should respond in different situations and I'm so glad I did because I did use some of that later on. 34:34 Gestational hypertensionKaren: Unfortunately, I did develop gestational hypertension but I'm still not completely convinced that I actually had it. They diagnosed me the week I had to put down my dog and I had her since I was 15 so it was just devastating. I was under a lot of stress and I tried to explain that to them. They were like, “No. This is gestational hypertension.” I'm like, “Okay. Here is another label.” But I kept on top of my blood pressure readings. I never had high readings. I ate well. I tried to do exercise as much as you can when you are in your third trimester. Unfortunately, this practice had a policy that patients with gestational hypertension must deliver by 37 weeks. Meagan: Whoa. Karen: Yes. They said that if you are a VBAC patient, they won't induce you. So there's another timeline. I had to deliver by 37 weeks. But yeah, things seemed to be going really well. Once I reached around 36 weeks, I actually started having prodromal labor. I'm like, “Okay, yes. Things are going really well.” Because I had gestational hypertension, I was going 3-4 times a week to the doctor at that point. Meagan: For non-stress tests and stuff? Karen: Yes, exactly. They could see that I was already 3 centimeters dilated so I was like, “Great. Everything is going great.” At the 37-week appointment, there was a scheduling issue and instead of being able to see my regular doctor, they assigned me to a different doctor and that just made me really, really nervous. I was just like, “I don't want to go. I don't feel right. Something is going to go wrong. It's not my doctor. I don't want to go.” My husband was like, “No. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Let's go.” He canceled work so he could go with me. He was like, “Everything is going to be okay.” The other thing that happened that morning was my sister who was going to be in the room with us woke up with strep throat. I was like, “This is not a good week. This is not a good day. I don't want to go in.” So when I went in, my blood pressure was 160/113 which was extremely high. This doctor told me, “You need to get a C-section today.” So I was just like, “Okay. I don't want to hurt my baby. That's fine.” I was really, really upset. I was crying and I told her I was scared and she was like, “Why are you scared?” My husband was pretty blunt and was like, “Because the doctors almost killed her last time.”She was like, “How did they almost kill her?” He was like, “They put too much fluid in her body and they caused heart failure.” She laughed and she said, “That's not a thing.” I was like, “Well, my cardiologist said it was a thing. How could you say it's not a thing?” I went to the hospital. I was really upset but the nurse there was amazing. She was like, “What happened?” I basically told her everything like my life story basically up until that point. She was like, “I checked your blood pressure when you came in. You are fine.” She was like, “This is ridiculous. It just sounds like you are stressed out.” At that point, my blood pressure was–Meagan: Reasonably so.Karen: She checked my blood pressure and it was 117/83 so it was great. It was so funny because she kept the blood pressure cuff on me and the doctor who was working that day was the same doctor who told me I'd never be able to VBAC and kept coming up with excuses. My nurse was just like, “Look, her blood pressure is fine.” Then she took my blood pressure again in front of him and it went back up. She was like, “Can you step out?” She took it again and then it was fine. She started advocating on my behalf. She was like, “You guys are causing her heart pressure to go up. You guys are stressing her out. She does not have high blood pressure because of herself. It's you guys.” The doctor was just like, “Oh, well I guess it's fine, but wouldn't you rather just have a birthday today?” I'm like, “No. I would not like to just have a C-section for no reason.” He's like, “I really don't want to send you home though,” but you really should consider this C-section just in case your blood pressure goes back up. I was like, “Look. I can check it repeatedly and if it goes up, I will come back. I'm not going to be stupid and put my son's life in danger. I will come back.” He just kept trying to convince me and finally, we were like, “No. We're leaving.” I told them, “If I'm going to have a C-section, it's going to be with my regular doctor. I trust her. I'm going to have control over this situation somehow. Even if I have to have a C-section, it's going to be by someone I trust. It's not going to be by you.” 39:36 Signing an AMAKaren: He was not thrilled about hearing that but he said, “Okay fine. You have to fill out this paperwork saying you're leaving against medical advice, but it will be fine.” I was like, “Okay, fine.” I filled out this paperwork. I was scared like, “They're probably going to kick me out afterward, but whatever.” I filled it out and I went home. They did make me schedule a C-section for two days later when my regular doctor was on call. I was like, “You know what? If it has to happen that day, it's fine. I did everything I could. I took control of whatever I could. It's my doctor.” She made me feel seen and heard and she had my best interest at heart, so we are going to pray and just do what we can. The next two days, I walked 10 miles. I drank raspberry leaf tea. We had sex. We did basically everything you can do to get labor going. I was still having prodromal labor so we would get our hopes up and then it would stop and then get our hopes up and then it would stop. Around midnight the night before I was supposed to get my C-section, I was so upset. I was just like, “It's not going to happen. I'm just going to have to get a C-section.” I just gave up completely. My husband was just like, “No. God told you this was going to be fine. You're going to be fine. Let's just get some rest because it's already midnight and we have to leave at 3:00 AM so let's just get a little bit of rest and it will be fine. We will talk to the doctor in the morning.” I was like, “Okay.” So we went to sleep at 1:00. The alarm rang at 3:00 and I was in labor. Meagan: Yay! Karen: I was so excited. 41:31 Going to the hospitalKaren: We went to the hospital. They still prepped me for a C-section. They were like, “Just in case,” but I was having regular contractions. It wasn't going away. My doctor came in. She checked me and she was like, “Okay. If you want to TOLAC, I'll send you over.” I was just like, “Oh my gosh, yes. This is my dream!” We were so happy. They wheeled us over and it just felt so surreal. We just kept waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us and someone came in and was like, “No, you need a C-section now. You're not allowed to be over here,” or something. We were just waiting. I wanted this to be another unmedicated birth, but our midwife came in and she told me her plan. She said she wanted to try a small bit of Pitocin to see if I could make the contractions a little bit stronger and then she saw my hesitation and told me, “It's only a small amount to help move things along, but you are not on a time limit. You can take however long you need to labor. It's just to help move things along. The max is 10. We won't ever get to that point.” I was just like, “Okay. I'm going to put my trust in you because my doctor trusts you.” She also asked if she could break my water to help move things along and I felt at ease so I was just like, “Okay. That's fine.” My husband was really surprised I was consenting to the Pitocin and to the water breaking. I told him, “I don't know. All this time, I'm always fighting against my gut and my gut is telling me I can trust them fine and this is going to be okay.” I listened to her plan and I said, “Yeah, let's do it.” They also kept a really close eye on my fluid levels– the thing that the other doctor said was not a thing. It felt good to know that they were actually paying attention to me and listening to me. Karen: The other thing that happened was at 10:00 AM, my sister completed 48 hours of antibiotics so she was able to join us and I was like, “Okay. Everything is going to be okay.” My husband and I were finally able to relax. Meagan: Good. Karen: Yeah. Again, I wanted to go unmedicated but I noticed something about my body which was that I could not relax my pelvic floor. I was so tired. I was so exhausted from the last 48 hours, from the walking, from not sleeping, and from everything. I was just like, “I'm trying, but I cannot relax it.” I was just like, “I think I want an epidural. I think that will relax my pelvic floor and just relax in general.” They gave me the epidural so I was finally able to get some rest. Without even having to ask them, the midwife would come in, put me in different positions, and just do different things to help me get the baby down on its own instead of last time where they just left me lying in there with no instructions. Then around 4:00 PM, they told me I was fully dilated and they were like, “Let's do some practice pushes. Let's just make sure you know what you're doing with your body. We can troubleshoot and then when you're ready, you know what to do already.” I was like, “Yeah. That's fine.” They get everything ready, start doing some practice pushes, and the midwife goes, “Oh, these aren't practice pushes.” 45:20 Pushing for 20 minutesKaren: She starts getting suited up and the room starts filling up with people and 20 minutes later, my baby was out. Meagan: 20 minutes! Karen: Yeah, 20 minutes of pushing. He was 9 pounds so he was still a big baby and perfectly healthy and beautiful. It was wonderful. One thing that my husband noticed was that the whole room was all women. It was such a cool girl power moment. They were all cheering and so happy for me getting my VBAC and it was just a total girl power that we were all like, “Yes. We did it. Girl power! The doctor is a woman. The pediatrician is a woman. We did this.” It was such a cool, surreal moment and then they had other nurses coming in and they were like, “We heard your story. That is so cool you got your VBAC.” It was so, so amazing. It was just such a huge difference having this supportive environment. I don't know. In that moment, it was like an instant feeling of relief because I felt like all of this trauma that I had been carrying with me for so long was just lifted. I felt like I was finally healed and I was able to forgive myself for the C-section and realize, “Okay. You didn't fail at anything. Things happen. You didn't know. It's okay.” Finally, I didn't have this label that I was defining myself with for so long which was traumatic birth. I finally just got to have the birth I wanted for it to be pretty smooth after the drama of the earlier morning. Everything just went perfectly and it was so, so beautiful. I was crying. We were all crying. The doctor was just like, “Okay, is this pain crying or is this happiness?” I'm like, “This is happiness!” Meagan: Pure joy.Karen: That's my story. 47:30 White coat syndromeMeagan: That is awesome. I love that you truly got to end that way surrounded with women and somebody that you really like and just having everyone rejoicing and happy and crying together and having that space be such a drastic change in your first birth. That is amazing. Thank you so much. Did you have any blood pressure issues during your labor at all? Karen: No. My blood pressure was fine. They were keeping an eye on it the entire time and I was getting nervous because I thought, maybe if it should up they would wheel me over to a C-section, but no. It was fine the entire time. Meagan: I love that. It's kind of interesting because there have been times where I've had clients where they don't have any signs of hypertension or preeclampsia or anything like that, but then they go to their visit and then they are like, “Oh my gosh. My blood pressure was just through the roof.” They go home and they are checking it at home and they are like, “It's fine.” But then they go and it's through the roof every time they go. We just had a client just the other day. She's 34 weeks and she went and her blood pressure was pretty high. It really was. It was high. The reading was high and they did a couple of readings. They said things like, “Well, we might have to go to an emergency C-section.” This and that. Anyway, she was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.” She was like, “I want to go home.” She went home and relaxed and had food. Her blood pressure was fine. White coat syndrome is a real thing and it's something to take into consideration like, “I never have blood pressure issues. I don't have any signs. I don't have protein. I don't have these things. What may be going on?” I love how your nurse was like, “Hey, can you step out? Go out.” She was very able to relate to that. Then sometimes, we have it and we don't know why. With your first pregnancy, did you have any high blood pressure at all? Karen: No. It was just a very uneventful pregnancy. Everything was perfect. It was very strange for these blood pressure problems to happen afterward.Meagan: Yeah. I think it's called peripartum so it could happen before or postpartum cardiomyopathy. Karen: Yes. Yes. Meagan: That's what I was thinking it was going where the heart muscles weaken and can lead to heart failure progressively. The symptoms include fatigue, hard to breathe, and feeling your heart rush. Those are common. Karen: Yeah, so that's actually what is on my medical records is that I had peripartum cardiomyopathy but my cardiologist was just like, “I don't believe that for a second. Your heart is fine.” She kept an eye on my heart the entire pregnancy and after the pregnancy. Nothing else happened. Meagan: I almost wonder if your heart was under stress. You talked about fluids. We get an astronomical amount of fluids during a C-section too. I'm just wondering if your body just went under a lot with a Cesarean. There was a lot of shifting and a lot of things happening and then of course a Cesarean. It just made me curious because sometimes if you have hypertension before, it can be a risk factor in that. Interesting. Karen: Yeah. That's something that the cardiologist said is that sometimes it gets confused with fluid overload. She thinks that's what happened. Part of the labeling that was happening is throughout my second pregnancy, I kept having to tell people that I did not have blood pressure issues with the first because they kept going, “Oh yeah, well you had blood pressure issues with your first pregnancy,” and I'd be like, “No, I didn't. Stop assuming that.” Meagan: I mean, I am no medical professional by any means, but it makes me wonder if it could have been related to the birth itself. 51:59 Symptoms of hypertension and preeclampsiaMeagan: I'd love to talk about hypertension and preeclampsia and things like that because hypertension is something that happens during pregnancy and it can be associated with lots of different reasons, but sometimes hypertension during pregnancy can lead to preeclampsia or HELLP or things like that. I want to give a little educational tidbit here. Talking about just hypertension. High blood pressure or hypertension does not necessarily make us feel unwell all the time. You can have that and not know. So you walking into your visit and them being like, “You have hypertension.” You're like, “Oh.” It's not completely abnormal to just walk in, but sometimes we might have headaches or not feel super great. If you are feeling crummy or especially if you are feeling like you can't breathe when you lay down or have shortness of breath, do not think that those are all just normal pregnancy symptoms that people who told you, “Oh, yeah. It's a new mom.” You're like, “No.” So follow your body. Trust your body. Preeclampsia is a condition that does affect pregnant women and can sometimes come on after that 20-week mark where we are having some of that swelling. We are having the high blood pressure. We have protein in our urine. That's when it turns into that preeclampsia stage. It's really hard. It's still unknown exactly why preeclampsia or hypertension come, but it's believe to be placenta-related so sometimes our placenta doesn't attach in the full-on correct manner and our blood vessels are pumping differently so we can get high blood pressure. I want to note that if you are told that you have high blood pressure or if you have preeclampsia, that doesn't always mean you have to schedule a C-section. It just doesn't. It doesn't mean it's always the best decision to not schedule a C-section if that makes sense, but that doesn't mean you have to have a C-section because you have hypertension or blood pressure. I feel like time and time again, I do. I see these comments in our community where it's like, “I really wanted my VBAC, but I just got preeclampsia. The doctor says I have to have a C-section.” That just isn't necessarily true. They can be induced. I know you mentioned your one hospital was like, “No, we can't induce because you are a VBAC,” which also isn't necessarily true. 54:52 Tips for hypertension and preeclampsia Meagan: Sometimes we also want to be aware of hypertension or preeclampsia getting worse because labor can be stressful on our body and all of the things. I wanted to just give a couple of little tips. If you have high blood pressure, increase your hydration. Go for walks. Cut out a lot of salts so really eating healthy and then you can get good supplements to help. If you are in labor and you are getting induced or something like that, sometimes you may want to shift gears. Maybe an epidural can be a good thing to reduce stress or a provider may suggest that it's not abnormal. But know that if you were told you have hypertension or you have preeclampsia, it doesn't always mean it's a for sure absolutely have to have a C-section. Even your provider was like, “Oh yeah. We've got this high blood pressure stuff. I really wanted to keep you.” You were like, “No.” Then your other doctor was like, “We'll kick you over here to 38 weeks,” because everything really was looking okay. Yay for that doctor for not making you stay and have a C-section that day. Know that you do have options. Time and time we talk about this. Don't hesitate to ask questions. Ask questions. Can I get a second opinion? Can I go home and relax and take a reading there? Is there something I can take to help with my blood pressure? Those types of things and then following your heart. What does your heart say? That's just my little tidbit. Do you have anything to add? I know you didn't have high blood pressure in the first pregnancy and then you kind of did sort of maybe have white coat syndrome or blood pressure with the second but do you have any tips on this situation? You were exactly in that space of they are telling you you have blood pressure. He is telling you he doesn't want you to go home and that type of thing.Do you have any messages to the audience?56:55 Karen's final tipsKaren: One thing I started doing during this pregnancy was meditation and that helped a lot. Whenever I felt like, “Okay. I'm going to go into a stressful situation,” which was most doctor visits, I would meditate before the doctor came in and that would really help a lot. Meagan: Yes. Exercising, eating, hydrating, meditation, and doing something to bring yourself back down can help. It doesn't always help. Sometimes we have high blood pressure and we do not understand it. We cannot control it as much as we are trying to. It just doesn't want to listen to what we are trying to do or receive the things we are trying to do, but all of these things can help. I am just so happy for you that you found good support, that you found the true bubble of love in your hospital room at the very end, and that you were able to have your VBAC. Karen: Thank you. Yeah. I do want to make sure. I'm not trying to send a message of, “Ignore high blood pressure! Do what you want!” It absolutely can be a very scary thing. If you need to have a C-section because of it, totally understandable. It's just that my big message that I tell new moms is to listen to your body and you are allowed to say no. You are allowed to say no to people and ask for options. But the big one is to listen to your body. Listen to your gut. You know what is really, truly going on with your body. Meagan: Of course, right. And typically, birth is actually the full cure for things like preeclampsia. Getting baby earthside is typically the end of that preeclampsia and the stop. That doesn't mean you shouldn't say, “No, I'm not going to do anything,” but just know that you have options. Induction is still okay typically. Ask those providers about your individual needs. Talk about your individual case but yeah, I would agree. I'm not trying to say, “Don't listen to your provider.” I'm just saying that you have options and you often will have options if they say one thing or another. Don't hesitate to ask questions. Karen: Exactly. Exactly. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

It's Christmas time in Tennessee, and folks across the volunteer state are celebrating with family and friends. Merry Christmas from all of us here at Tennessee Home and Farm Radio! Thomas Capps From Memphis to Mountain City it's Christmas time in Tennessee. Hello and welcome to Tennessee Home and Form Radio I'm Tomas Capps. The anticipation is over Christmas Day is here and people across the world are celebrating with family and friends. Here in Tennessee folks are celebrating in all kinds of ways like Loudoun County dairy farmer, John Harrison. John Harrison It's different on the farm than probably most other places. You know, I had to work all my life growing up on Christmas. So Christmas is like a lot of our Sundays, are kind of a mad rush. So you hurry up and get things done. So you can do family things. But they are kind of special. And they're special now for us because we have a grandchild now, we've got a daughter in law and her son in law, probably going to have another one or two so that makes Christmas more special. Thomas Capps But perhaps this Christmas isn't merry and bright for some due to hardship and challenges. Governor Bill Lee reminds us that the true meaning of Christmas gives us hope, no matter our circumstances. Governor Bill Lee God uses the hardest circumstances in our lives oftentimes for transformation, and uses them and redeems them in ways that we couldn't even imagine. I think that's true for communities, for cities, for families, for countries. So redemption brings hope for me, this is a very hopeful season. And we're all mindful of that. A tragic, a tragic event in you know, in the life of the one who was born in this season. All of that's redemption. So, when we think about countries, economies, communities, really difficult times that we're walking through, we can walk through those with hope. Because, you know, that's how it works. Thomas Capps Christ born in the most humble of circumstances, all to bring peace and goodwill towards men, and life everlasting. Merry Christmas from all of us here at Tennessee Home and Farm Radio. I'm Thomas Capps.

Speaking as a Christian, I don't say Christmas is everyone's birthday for the sake of quaint comparison. I believe the birth of Jesus changes every person for all time. Because of Jesus, every single person on this planet is deeply connected to the God who made them. Every single person. It doesn't matter where they were born, what they believe or don't believe, how they vote, if they pray or not. In Jesus, God has chosen to hold onto every single one of us forever, to redeem every single one of our lives. God has said yes to us, and indeed to all of creation. We all belong utterly to God without condition. So Christmas is the celebration of Jesus, yes. But through Jesus, Christmas is a celebration of each and every one of us. It's a celebration of our lives, of our belonging. If we are serious about recognizing who Jesus is and celebrating what God has done, then this season, this holy day, is best spent celebrating our humanity and the beautiful humanity of those around us. Because on this day we remember that God blesses our humanity. The things we want for children on their birthday - to feel special, to feel loved, to have a wonderful day in which they can really experience a sense of what a blessing it is that they exist, what a blessing they are to those of us who know them - this is a list of what God wants for us on Christmas. But let's be realistic: There will still be stress and anxiety because of our expectations. There is no way around this I suppose. I want to stay honest about that. Want to support our podcast? Give Here or if you can't access the link, see it here: https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast

Various Scriptures | 12/10/2023 | Pastor Matt Jones. In our Christmas Christology series, we turn this week to the affirmation that Jesus is fully human. If Jesus is not human, we have no revelation of God. If Jesus is not human, we have no salvation. So Christmas is of first importance to us.

So Christmas is stretchy right.... like bloody hell it's hard. I've had top use many of my personal coaching tips on myself recently because I have felt so pulled into the anxious, racing kind of space. So here's what I do and what I teach many of my 1:1 clients. I would love you to share The Mamaload if you feel called to, share where you are listening, or a favourite episode that created some shifts. Let's help more mamas find their flow and their version of happy. P.S 50 episodes. Holy fuckin' shite. 1000's of listens. I kept getting up even when it didn't make sense. Keep going and following your dreams I promise it is worth it. for more Kiki follow here here kiki.mcgrath.xo to work with Kiki go to kiki.mcgrath.com.au

In a manger–that's where Jesus was born. It was in a stable or cave, but it was not in a palace. The King of Kings. The Alpha and Omega. The Great I Am. And He was born in a manger. This changed everything. The God who was so distant came near. The God who was unknowable became seen. The God, who we knew nothing about, became one of us. So Christmas changed many things, but nothing more than our image of God.

Join Pat Willie as she brings you two minutes of prayer and reflection. We believe that prayer is essential, life-giving, and life-sustaining. In this 2 minute prayer, we pray for the Joy of Christmas. Please join us for 2 minutes of prayer to our Lord and Savior. Transcription: Hello. This is Pat Willie, the founder, and CEO of the not-for-profit ministry, The Gathering. When women gather, when women worship. Thanks for joining us for this podcast, the two-minute prayer. I believe that prayer is essential. It is life-giving and life-sustaining, and it only takes just a minute to pray. This prayer for the joy of Christmas was read from the New Testament, Luke chapter two beginning at verse one, and it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from Caesar Augusta that all the world should be taxed and have tax was first made by Cerenia the governor's school. And all went to be taxed everyone into his own city.   And Joseph also went up from Galilee out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem because he was the house and lineage of David to be taxed with Mary, his expound wife. Being great with child. And so it was that while they were there, that the days were accomplished, that she should be delivered and she brought forth her firstborn son wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the end.   And there were in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field. Keeping watch over their flock. They at night and lo the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of God, Sean, around about him. And they were so afraid. And Saint Joel said unto them fear, not for behold. I bring you good tidings of great joy.   Which shall be to all people born unto you is born this day in the city of David, which is Christ the Lord a savior. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angels, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying glory, beat God in the highest owner of peace Goodwill to watch all man, father God in the name of Jesus.   We thank you for the spirit of Christmas. We thank you, God, for sending your son. That we may have hope and eternal life. We thank you for the joy of Christmas. We thank you for the peace of Christmas in a name of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And so we celebrate the birth. Oh, God. Thank you to our savior.   And we also celebrate our soon-coming king. And we give you glory. We praise that the spirit of Christmas would be shed abroad in our hearts, minds, and relationships. God, in a name of Jesus, we thank you for reconciliation. That Jesus came, but your word says God in Christ reconciling the world unto himself.   So Christmas means harmony and fellowship and peace with God, but it also means harmony and fellowship and peace with our brothers and sisters. We asked that your peace would abide in our hearts., We ask that we would experience and discover the goodwill the blessings that you have for us, we give you glory.   We give you praise that your plan is perfect for our lives and that you are concerned about us and that you love us. Thank you for this Christmas morning, we celebrate. Christ in Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.   Thanks for listening in today. Please subscribe to this channel by using the links below blessings. Now, this is the two-minute prayer podcast. Have a great day. If you would like to make a donation to this ministry, please use this link. https://www.patwillieministries.org/donate  

Jesus said that the whole Old Testament spoke of Him. Jesus is in the pages and promises from Genesis to Malichi. So Christmas too is in the Old Testament, if even as a whisper. Today Dr. John looks at the Day of Atonement and points to the coming of our Saviour. There is an overlap of truth from Leviticus 16 and the Christmas account from John's gospel. In both, we see the presence of God among us to bring redemption.  Christmas From the Beginning of Time: We can't understand Christmas by beginning with Mary and Joseph and the appearance of an angel. Christmas is a part of the grand program of God working itself out in history. To understand Christmas rightly, we must see it as God's redemption promise beginning in Genesis and woven throughout the Old Testament. Christmas is more than angels, shepherds and Magi. Christmas is a promise kept; a promise meant for you and I today.

I am told the concern over aviation fuel isn't going to ruin your holiday. In other words, the planes won't run out of gas. But the inevitable issue of getting a bit of dodgy fuel was always going to unfold, wasn't it? Those of us that questioned the closure of Marsden Point are being proven right already, not that that is any great victory. I know nothing about fuel, apart from the fact that if you make the stuff locally it stands to reason that you have more control over its production and supply and quality. The moment you shut up shop and contract the business out, you are at the mercy of those who may or may not be interested in serving you well. How they didn't work that out, I don't know. Well I do know. It's all about the bottom line and they thought they could get away with it. It is why the Government announced the other day the forced increase in the amount of fuel that has to be held in reserve. One of the oil companies wanted it to include fuel on the water, not just physically here. Fortunately, they were outvoted. They reassured us at the time Marsden Point got closed that it was a massive non-event, there was plenty of oil and plenty of ships and us doing any of this ourselves was us essentially wasting our own time. Until, of course, that turned out to be bollocks. Once a bad shipment arrives, then what? Well, the “then” is what is playing out right now. You rely on reserves and the reserves will probably be fine. So Christmas isn't off. But it reminds me of that mad pipe puncture leading into the 2017 election. Remember that? Everyone got shocked that there was this single pipe pumping all the fuel to Auckland Airport and some digger driver could cripple aviation. Jacinda Ardern promised to build a second pipe, which you'll be well aware has gone as well as her promise on light rail being finished by last year in Auckland. The more you do yourself, the more you control, the more flexibility you have. It's a buffer, it's a safe guard, it's common sense. It seems these days we ration that. A bit like jet fuel.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome! I have a super extra special treat for you on the show today. I have Jamie Bright with We Are Brighter Together.Jamie is talking to us about making the most of your connections and relationships.How to build your business in a non spammy way without ruining relationships or having to cold DM people with pitches. So the really first thing that I would be looking at, if you want to get good reviews and stories so that other people see that you're amazing to work with and they want to work with you, you have to provide an awesome experience.The easiest way to do this is really quite simple. Exceed expectations. We really judge our experience of something based on what we expect it to be. So Christmas is a great example for my kids. If they are expecting to the normal Christmas thing. And I surprised them and say, Hey, we're going to go to Disney world or something like that.They're going to be thrilled because it's like way above and beyond what they're expecting. So with our clients, if we can think about, okay, what are they actually expecting us to provide? And how can we go above and beyond that? When we do, then they're thrilled. They're happy. They want to share, they want to give us these awesome reviews. Once you have this amazing experience and they're ready to shout from the rooftops about you a lot of people will just say, Hey, can I get a review? Now I switched this from asking for a review to asking if I could feature them. This does a couple of different things.One, it implies that you're going to be sharing it. So you don't have to ask them if you can share it again, which is awesome too. Everyone loves being featured. We want to be an inspiration for others. And if we had a great experience working with somebody, we're happy to promote them during that.The final point that I'd love to share is don't be afraid to ask for the referral directly from the clients, especially. If they've given you a feature, if they've given you a great review. Awesome people know other awesome people. All my opt-ins are video asks. I also have a challenge, which is brighter togetherchallenge.com. It's an email based challenge that you opt into. It will walk you through how to make the most of the relationships you have. This challenge is going to walk you through what are the other opportunities that you have to grow your business through the relationships you've already got without it being spammy, without it being cold DM-ing people in ways that are going to make it uncomfortable, and doing it in a way that actually strengthens your relationship and doesn't hurt it because a lot of people are afraid to ask for favors or for help or whatever else, because they're afraid they're going to use a favor up that maybe they want to use in the future or something else. It doesn't have to be that way at all. You're not annoying people. You can go there and you'll see my video ask all about it and you can opt in there.And I do reply to every single video ask at this point of recording. Not always immediately, but as soon as I'm able and I would love to show them.The challenge starts the moment they sign up, it's going to be binge-worthy. Remember we're breaking down these points and they'll be in our free magazine style guide at www.letsgetreviews.comDo you wish you could fill your calendar faster and easier?It's always easy to do on your own, so I've created a free challenge for you, where we'll walk through it together.The challenge starts on September 21, when you sign up right now you'll get an action item that will have you starting with the right foundation!Just go to www.letsbookclients.com/referralschallenge to sign up today!

Build your inventory of stories.  The type of story will attract a different segment of audience.  The detail that you add to the story will add emotionally based triggers to create further connection.  Paint the picture to grow your audience. I practiced adding detail into a story and got instant results.  But first let me tell you about my hair. Build your inventory of stories.  The type of story will attract a different segment of audience.  The detail that you add to the story will add emotionally based triggers to create further connection.Administrative: (See episode transcript below)WATCH the Table Rush Talk Show interviews here: www.TableRushTalkShow.comCheck out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummitStart podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://amzn.to/3z2NrIJGet the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://amzn.to/3ly8SNjSee more resources at https://belove.media/resourcesEmail me: contact@belove.mediaFor social Media:      https://www.instagram.com/mrmischaz/https://www.facebook.com/MischaZvegintzovSubscribe and share to help spread the love for a better world!As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.Transcript: Mischa Zvegintzov Hello, everybody. This is a another episode on storytelling and the power of storytelling and stuff. I just want to address the elephant in the room in my hair.  Oh my gosh, I was out shopping today. It's Christmas Eve Day as I record this episode, and as everybody knows, or maybe you don't know if you're new to the Table Rush Talk Show first off, welcome. Welcome.  Welcome to my pontificating.  My attempts at adding value to my listeners lives to you, dear listener, who is listening right now. And I feel like I'm constantly walking the fine line between Mischa's narcissism and me adding value to your life. And I oftentimes divert.Mischa Zvegintzov But anywho anyhow, I was out on my morning walk this this morning. morning walk this morning and and it started raining. The last 20 minutes. It started raining and it started raining pretty hard. And I've got a lot of hair. Never had long hair in my life. But I'm at, coming up March...  I'm at what is it night 21 months of letting my hair grow out and thick curly hair. It got rained on. I looked like a wet dog. So if you're watching this on YouTube, because I've finally got the wherewithal to get all my episodes to YouTube. If you're listening on the Table Rush Talk Show via podcast come on over and click on the www.tablerushtalk show.com. And you can you can for sure watch my interviews on that YouTube channel. But perhaps my daily attempts at adding value will be there as well. But we've got the remnants of the wet dog air look wet poodle. That's what it is the wet poodle. There's I think I did an episode a bit ago that was about the poodle episode.Mischa Zvegintzov What does this have to do with sales? What does this have to do with with a Table Rush? Well, you got to learn how to tell stories. You've got to learn how to be authentic and hopefully you find people that vibe with you. So if you vibe with me, God bless. Anyhow telling stories. So I have a few episodes of late Russell Brunson is very much about telling stories. A lot of people are about telling stories. This is nothing new, but Russell Brunson hammers on it, find your stories, build your inventory of your stories, so that your listener can relate to you. It'll help you with your sales, what you're trying to sell, communicate your message, all these sorts of things.Mischa Zvegintzov And I'm very lucky where I'm on a group three or four times a week. And I probably get called on to share my thoughts. At least once a week. Usually I get it I get a I get to share a thought. Get to share a thought. So today was just that day someone said hey, Mischa, what were you thinking about? And so on, according to you know, Russell Brunson and many others. But I'm going to focus on Russell Brunson just because I, where I really started to pay attention to storytelling again in my life, as far as trying to build an audience. trying to Yeah, build an audience, you know, and ultimately sell this audience, valuable goods and services. Holy mackerel. I will try to (get to) the point. So Russell tells the tale of how he would tell these man centric stories. And so he was getting a lot of man sales. And when he started telling a more female centric story, ie, him and his wife were frustrated trying to have a baby. And so he started talking about the in vitro process, I believe is what it is and how the emotions around that and how all of a sudden, that female audience started to grow. He started to sell more to The female audience, in his Table Rushes.  he would literally see in his Table Rush... he would sell from stage, he'd look in the back of the room who's buying and when he, the way he tells it, he, he, off the cuff, shared this in vitro story. And all of a sudden, there was all these women back there buying along with men.Mischa Zvegintzov And so I've been really thinking about that a lot. Because I have been telling a lot of these emotionally based stories, I think that tend to, perhaps be more interested to, you know, sort of this, what do you call it, you know, just a more emotionally, I'm going to generalize, a female females might appreciate it more, you know.  I'm talking about, you know, crying and emotions and finding my heart center and all these sorts of things, right. And so I've really been thinking like, okay, like, what are some man centric stories. And the other thing that Russell talks about is the details, the details of the story. It's really more of what this episode is about, is about the details of the story. Sorry, it took me a little bit to get here. But the details of the story, tell the story in more detail, paint the picture of, of what was happening at the time.Mischa Zvegintzov And so we were talking about sort of Christmas before and Christmas now like before and after Christmas is right. And so I was telling the story about Christmases in my youth as a teenager, as a teenager who liked to party. So Christmas events could be a distraction from that. So here's the here's the story. I grew up with my father, who was a single dad. And so at Christmas time, I would drive from Wyoming to to Berkeley, California to go see mom for that, you know, Christmas week, or 10 days or whatever it was. And this is the detail I added driving across the I80. Driving in my white Toyota pickup truck the 1980 or 82, white tin cans Toyota pickup truck. And how you know, I gave details about the the white Toyota pickup truck how how, what did I say? I can't remember I just gave details. That was a detail driving across the country, this white Toyota pickup truck. And then, you know, I would, I would, I had a friend there in California. So I'd go visit mom and I would be distracted, doing my best to enjoy the Christmas dinner, but really looking forward to hanging out with my, my wild friends after and, and I had the one who was a valet at the hungry Hunter. And I painted a little bit of that picture. We were teenagers, he was valeting cars, right. And to give it more texture, and more meaning and, and some other details and some board for an after stuff. And sure enough, out of nowhere, I get a text on the group, right? You know, you can be on a zoom call, and then you get your text? I get a text from a guy's like, "oh my god, the, the the 1982  engine of that Toyota tin can".  And we start this whole dialogue. He's like, Oh, yeah, my, I work on my family's farm. And so, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I had, you know, we're always working on these old Toyota's and then he said, Did you see that episode? What's the...  There's one of these cars show car show episodes and and so I purposefully added rich, deep richness to the story. And then I got a response back. And I thought that was so cool. Right to play with the story and see what the response is. And it worked. So thank you very much Russell Brunson. Anyhow, learn build the inventory of stories. And as I've been thinking about this, more stories have been coming to my mind and I need to tell more of them. Oh, I have a great story about this corner in Jackson Hole, Wyoming that, that I used to drive on.  That I get to practice.Mischa Zvegintzov So anyhow, let's work on two things. If you take anything from this episode, it's going to be, Build your inventory of stories.  Understand that the type of story will attract a different segment of audience and that Lastly, the detail that you add to the story will add emotionally Emotional based triggers to it to to to create further connection. Alright, that's it it's Christmas Eve as I record this. you're probably gonna hear this a month later. I hope it reminds you of an amazing Christmas Eve that you had with your family or what have you.  Love to all. Thank you for listening per usual .PEACE OUT.

So Christmas is over, right? Not so fast! Traditionally the Church celebrated the joy of Jesus’s birth in the days after Christmas and after a hard couple of years, there are some very good reasons from God’s Word to pick that tradition up.

So Christmas has come and gone, and while Jon was busy digging coal-19 out of his stocking Ryan grabbed the reigns and crashed the topics sleigh right into father Xmas himself, our resident Yuletide expert old man Tom. https://www.revivalmotoring.com/

Join Pat Willie as she brings you two minutes of prayer and reflection. We believe that prayer is essential, life-giving, and life-sustaining. In this 2 minute prayer, we pray for the Joy of Christmas. Please join us for 2 minutes of prayer to our Lord and Savior.   Transcription: Hello. This is Pat Willie, the founder, and CEO of the not-for-profit ministry, The Gathering. When women gather, when women worship. Thanks for joining us for this podcast, the two-minute prayer. I believe that prayer is essential. It is life-giving and life-sustaining, and it only takes just a minute to pray.   This prayer for the joy of Christmas reading from the New Testament, Luke chapter two beginning at verse one, and it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from Caesar Augusta that all the world should be taxed and having tax was first made by Cerenia the governor's school. And all went to be taxed every one into his own city.   And Joseph also went up from Galilee out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem because he was the house and lineage of David to be taxed with Mary, his expound wife. Being great with child. And so it was that while they were there, that the days were accomplished, that she should be delivered and she brought forth her firstborn son wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the end.   And there were in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field. Keeping watch over their flock. They at night and lo the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of God, Sean, around about him. And they were so afraid. And Saint Joel said unto them fear, not for behold. I bring you good tidings of great joy.   Which shall be to all people born unto you is born this day in the city of David, which is Christ the Lord a savior. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angels, a multitude of heavenly host, praising God and saying glory, beat God in the highest owner of peace Goodwill to watch all man, father God in the name of Jesus.   We thank you for the spirit of Christmas. We thank you, God, for sending your son. That we may have hope and eternal life. We thank you for the joy of Christmas. We thank you for the peace of Christmas in a name of a Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And so we celebrate the birth. Oh God. Thank you of our savior.   And we also celebrate our soon-coming king. And we give you glory. We give you praise that the spirit of Christmas would be shed abroad in our hearts and our minds and our relationships. God, in a name of Jesus, we thank you for reconciliation. That Jesus came, but your word says it was God in Christ reconciling the world unto himself.   So Christmas means harmony and fellowship and peace with God, but it also means harmony and fellowship and peace with our brothers and sisters. We asked that your peace would abide inn our hearts., We ask that we would experience and discover the goodwill the blessings that you have for us, we give you glory.   We give you praise that your plan is perfect for our lives and that you are concerned about us and that you love us. Thank you for this Christmas morning, we celebrate. Christ in Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.   Thanks for listening in today. Please subscribe to this channel by using the links below blessings. Now, this is the two-minute prayer podcast. Have a great day.   http://patwillieministries.org

Dom the Hypnotist crushes at the Tools For A Good Summit!  He will have you break through some of your limiting thoughts and patterns by the end.  And he gives you actionable tools for a healthier mind. Administrative: (See episode transcript below)Check out the Tools For A Good Life Summit here: Virtually and FOR FREE https://bit.ly/ToolsForAGoodLifeSummitStart podcasting!  These are the best mobile mic's for IOS and Android phones.  You can literally take them anywhere on the fly.Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic for IOS,  https://aMischa Zn.to/3z2NrIJGet the Shure MV88+ for  mobile mic for Android  https://aMischa Zn.to/3ly8SNjGet A Course In Miracles Here! https://aMischa Zn.to/3hoE7sAAccess my “Insiders Guide to Finding Peace” here: https://belove.media/peaceSee more resources at https://belove.media/resourcesEmail me: contact@belove.mediaFor social Media:      https://www.instagram.com/mrmischaz/https://www.facebook.com/MischaZvegintzovSubscribe and share to help spread the love for a better world!As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.Transcript: 0:00:06.2 Mischa Zvegintzov: Welcome back, everybody, to the Tools For A Good Life Summit. And right now I would like to introduce to you Dom... And I might butcher your last name, so bear with me, Bertoncini.0:00:20.0 Dom Bertoncini: Yeah, you hit it right on the head, I'm surprised.0:00:22.8 Mischa Z: Alright, fantastic. AKA, or also known as, Dom The Hypnotist. And I'm gonna tell the people a little about you real quick.0:00:32.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Cool.0:00:33.0 Mischa Z: Alright, so Dom, you, specialize... You're certified in hypnotherapy, timeline therapy, and neuro-linguistic programming. You specialize in helping people get rid of anxiety, depression, and limiting beliefs, so they can live the life that they want. You have worked with some of the top athletes in the NFL, UFC, and Olympic athletes from all over the world. And a fun fact about Dom, you get randomly referenced by UFC fighters on the Joe Rogan podcast.0:01:11.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, awesome, thank you. I appreciate that intro. And sometimes people think that I only work with athletes, but I work with everyday people like myself. There's only so many athletes that you're gonna be able to work with, just because there's only... You think about the NFL, there's only a thousand people, and out of those a thousand people... I have a small group of people that I work with it. Same thing in the UFC, there's only 550 people on the roster. So sometimes people think, "Oh, does he only work with athletes?" or whatever. No, I work with everyday people, like I said, like myself, like yourself, so...0:01:49.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. Perfect, thank you for that. I will tell you, as I've been putting together this summit and I was searching madly for a hypnotherapist...0:02:00.0 Dom the Hypnotist: How did you... Did you go on Instagram and you went to the "hypnosis" tag or something? 0:02:04.9 Mischa Z: Yeah, exactly.0:02:05.9 Dom the Hypnotist: Oh, there you go.0:02:06.0 Mischa Z: Exactly. Yes, and yeah it was interesting, I'll tell you, you can find, obviously, a ton of people that way, and what I loved about you and what drew me to you is you seem like a down-to-earth real... Like, "Here's a real... " You present it in real-life terms, which I think is so powerful. Yeah, and then I'll tell you too, I was like... You invite a few people, and I'm like "Gosh I hope Dom says yes", 'cause I like your message, I think...0:02:39.9 Dom the Hypnotist: I think I got an email from you and then I thought it was spam and so I just kind of ignored it, 'cause I get emails like that all the time...0:02:46.1 Mischa Z: Yes.0:02:46.1 Dom the Hypnotist: People asking "Dom do you wanna get your blue check mark? Do you wanna get this or that?" or whatever. So I just kind of ignored it, and then the second email, I don't know what caught my eye but I think it seemed like it wasn't spam, and I kind of read through it like, "Oh, this guy actually looked at my account, it wasn't just a blast email."0:03:05.0 Mischa Z: Yes, yes. Yeah, cool. Tell me, just real quick, at two to three minutes, how did you get involved in hypnotherapy and NLP and all that sort of stuff? 0:03:14.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, so it was actually completely random. Ever since I was maybe 18-19 I've always been into NLP and Hypnotherapy and everything else, because for about 11 years, from 18-19 to about 31 I had done insurance sales. So in insurance sales, or any sales job, you're always constantly trying to improve your mindset, trying to get better and more effective at what you're doing, and so I had known about it for a very long time. But about...0:03:45.0 Dom the Hypnotist: So I've been doing this a little bit over two years, it's been March 5th, 2019 is when I graduated my first course, but what happened was my mom, she's into personal development, she's pretty successful, she owns an insurance company or an insurance brokerage as well, through State Farm, and so she's always doing personal development, she's always going to seminars and courses and all this. And so she had went to an NLP course and she was telling me about it, and she goes, "Yeah, you learn how to do hypnosis", and this, that, and the other, "And yeah, and it only took two days to learn it." And I was like... I was kind of blown away, 'cause I thought that it was something that it would take months and months and months of training before you could get to hone in your skills, right? 0:04:32.0 Mischa Z: Yes.0:04:32.1 Dom the Hypnotist: So that's why I never really got into, 'cause I was like "I don't have the time to go through all that." So she was telling me about it, I was like, "Wow, that sounds pretty interesting." So, I don't know, a couple of months go by and she ended up surprising me with it as a Christmas gift. So Christmas of 2018 she got me a three-day introductory course. So I was like, "Wow, this is kinda cool." Honestly, best Christmas present I've ever had, to this day. So I went to the course and I had literally zero expectation of doing this for a living.0:05:05.0 Dom the Hypnotist: I was just going to get rid of my own problems I was dealing with and maybe learn like a cool trick or something, you know, "Make yourself sleep!"0:05:12.5 Mischa Z: Yes.0:05:13.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Like you see on YouTube, right? So I had, like I said, zero expectation that I was gonna do this. So I went to the course and I just fell in love with it. I was really good at it, I took to it pretty well. And after that three days I really felt a shift in myself, like I could literally feel just energy coming out of me, like I could put my hands and feel it. And I'd never felt that in my life, I always thought like the chakra stuff and all that BS, I was like "That's fake, that's not real", and then I actually felt it coming out of my chest, I was like "Oh my God... "0:05:51.8 Mischa Z: What? 0:05:52.0 Dom the Hypnotist: What was I holding on to? Like... Jesus. So I thought, I was like, "Man, if I could help people feel like this and I can do this for a living, I would way rather do this than selling insurance." So I had made a goal initially to transition from doing insurance to doing a full-blown hypnotherapy business, and I figured it would take me about six months to build up a clientele and everything else.0:06:19.0 Dom the Hypnotist: So when I got out of that course I literally had zero belief that I could charge for my services, so I had no real confidence. Because when you're in the course you're doing it with people that paid to be there, so it's a little bit easier, right? They're a little bit easier to do the process with, so I thought, "Well. Is this gonna work on people outside of the course?" right? So then I just started offering free 20-30-minute sessions through my Instagram for anybody who was interested. So within the first week I worked with 45-50 people.0:06:55.6 Dom the Hypnotist: Just any free time I had, just back to back to back to back to back. And then the second week was the same thing, so within about two weeks I worked with over 100 people, and they were like... People were promoting it on their Instagram, their Facebook and everything else. So I got to the point where I was like, "Well hey, I have so many people that wanna do this that I have to charge for my services, and I have no time to do insurance", so I remember it was literally two weeks of the day, I woke up, I actually had a full schedule that day, and I called my assistant, I said, "Hey look, call these people and tell them I'm not gonna come to the meeting. I'm done selling insurance, this is it. I'm never selling another insurance policy for the rest of my life." And then two weeks in I stopped, and then now we're here.0:07:44.0 Mischa Z: Wow, Dom, that is amazing. Thank you for that.0:07:46.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, it was like completely random. I had no... Zero intention. But I'm so thankful and grateful for my mom for doing that, 'cause had she not, who knows? I'd probably still be selling insurance, hating my life, looking for something else that's more fulfilling, and I was one of the lucky ones I guess.0:08:06.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. You know, what I love about that story too is, well, the serendipitous nature of it, obviously, is great, but clearly the tool itself in action. So...0:08:17.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah. That's the main thing. Taking action? 0:08:20.6 Mischa Z: No, yeah, taking action and also the tool itself, like that tool, the gift, the serendipitous events of your mother giving you that for a gift, right? 0:08:32.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Right.0:08:33.0 Mischa Z: And then you dove in and then you do it, and then to take the action that the tool inspired in you. Right? 0:08:43.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah totally. Yeah, I just became obsessed, man. I was just like... It was all I thought about. And I'm still obsessed, but you know that... It's like that new car smell or the new car you buy, for the first couple of weeks you're like, "Oh my God!" you know? 0:08:58.9 Mischa Z: Yes. And it was just so exciting. So, yeah I really... I always tell people there's the three best decisions I ever made in my life: Number one, having my daughter, number two, starting my hypnotherapy business, and number three moving to Las Vegas. So yeah, it's been great. It's been truly life-changing.0:09:21.0 Mischa Z: That's amazing. I'm just taking note on that: Your daughter, starting your hypnotherapy business, and then moving to Las Vegas.0:09:33.1 Dom the Hypnotist: It used to be, before that, it was "Man, the best decision I ever made in my life was getting out of California and moving to Las Vegas." [chuckle] But then when I had my daughter and then, you know, so it is...0:09:42.1 Mischa Z: Yes, yes, kids are amazing, we're gonna save that for the bonus round. Yeah, I have two sons, 18 and 20, at the time of this, and they are just... It's an amazing, amazing experience. Big gifts too. Alright, so let's get to the meat of the matter. I'm gonna give you a scenario and then I'm gonna ask you a question. Okay? 0:10:07.9 Dom the Hypnotist: Let's do it.0:10:08.7 Mischa Z: Alright, fantastic. So, given this scenario, think of life as a three-legged stool of relationships, finances and health. And now think of someone who was or is successful and has had two of those legs fall out from under them. So this could be a combination of divorce, career upheaval, financial stress, these kids that we're talking about, kids acting out and not going the direction we want them to. There could be physical health challenges for themselves or for a loved one, maybe a death in the family or continued failed relationships.0:10:50.0 Mischa Z: And for me it was I went through a heavy divorce, both my parents died in rapid succession, within two weeks of each other, this was all going down. My career went... This was about 10 years ago, my career went into upheaval and financial distress, and up until that point my "pull myself up from my bootstraps" mentality, that "fix-it" mentality had worked, right? But then all of a sudden I needed new tools, and it was clear. Like working my way through it, like more success, more money, more toys, was not gonna solve the problem, so I needed new tools. So my question to you is, thinking of hypnotherapy as a tool, what are the exact next steps you would offer someone like me who's in that situation so that I know I'm headed in the new right direction, that I'll have positive momentum towards getting my life back on track? 0:11:57.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Good, so it's actually funny you say that, 'cause those are the three main areas that we help people with: Health, career relationships. And usually, for the most part, when people come to us, one of the areas is good but the other two are out of whack, everything's out of balance. So there's a couple of things. One is we have to figure out why this is happening, because we are all the creators of our reality, and once we understand that then we can take back the power and begin to change.0:12:32.0 Dom the Hypnotist: One thing that you find, especially in relationship stuff, is people always wanna blame the other person for why their life is the way that they are, right? So I'll give you a prime example, one of my clients... So I know this isn't a hypnotherapy thing, but you have to understand this concept first before the hypnotherapy will work. Because if you don't understand this concept, I could do this, I could hypnotize you every single day for the rest your life and nothing will work. So you have to understand this concept of cause and effect.0:13:04.1 Dom the Hypnotist: So, a client of mine, she was telling me about how her ex was so manipulative and "He's this and he's that", and blah, blah, blah, blah. Which we've all been there before. And I stopped her and I explained to her the concept of cause and effect, and you probably know what it is but for the people who don't know, I'm just gonna explain.0:13:29.0 Mischa Z: When things happen in life we are either at cause, in other words, we take responsibility for everything that happens to us in our life. Whether it's this guy just crashed into me, rather than blaming that person, we take the responsibility, Okay, what did I do? Or What am I not doing? Or what's going on in my mind, that is creating this reality around me, what is causing this to happen? So, you're either gonna take responsibility or you're at the effect. And we're at the effect of something, it's always something outside of us. It's her, it's him. It's my boss. It's this guy, it's... It's whatever, right? So there's a problem when you're at the effect of something is you give up your power to that person or to that situation, because if it's like, Oh well, it's him doing it to me, essentially what you're saying is that that person controls you and control your life, and has the power over you. So what we have to do, no matter what it is, I don't care if you caught your wife cheating on you, if... Like I said, somebody crashed in your car, your boss fired you. I don't care how bad it is.0:14:38.7 Dom the Hypnotist: You have to take responsibility and go, okay, it's not their fault, it's my fault, yes, they did that. But what am I doing or what am I not doing that's allowing this to happen? What am I doing or not doing that's allowing people to treat me this way, right? So going back to my client, I explained this concept, but I said, "Look, he's so manipulative and all this stuff," and I said, "Is it that he's a good manipulator, or are you allowing him to manipulate you?" And it was like a light bulb went off in her head and she was like," Well... " and I said, "Well, think about this for a second.0:15:16.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Do you think your ex, boyfriend or fiance is a good manipulator? Let's say I took him and I put him with a high, high level manipulator," let's think about the general of an army is somebody whose job is to do manipulation, now, manipulation isn't always... Isn't always a bad thing? It's just... Manipulation is good or bad, right? Your heart manipulates body to perform better. So I said, "If we took him and we put him with this guy... Is he a good manipulator?" And she was like, "Yeah, yeah, I guess, you're right?" I said, "Yeah, so it's not that he's a good manipulator, you're allowing him to manipulate you, and once you realize that and you go, oh, okay. It's me that's doing it. So what am I doing or what am I not doing that's allowing him to treat me that way?" The same thing with bullies.0:16:08.0 Mischa Z: Yes.0:16:08.6 Dom the Hypnotist: People always wanna blame the bully, blame the bully, blame the bully and... Yes, I understand that, but when you take your focus off the other person. You go okay, what am I doing or not doing well? Okay, well, my body language is communicating certain things, my tonality is communicating certain things, the way that I walk, everything is communicating to this person that they can treat me this way. Now, once you realize that you go, Okay, what can I do to fix that? Well, I can do some speaking classes...0:16:35.9 Mischa Z: Can I ask you a question? 0:16:37.3 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, yeah, yeah.0:16:38.9 Mischa Z: So would you suggest like anybody listening, and we said, Hey, for this step number one, figure out why this is happening, and we want you to understand that you're... The effect is not them it needs to be you... Would you suggest like... Yeah, would you suggest like writing an inventory for that or write down what's that...0:17:07.5 Mischa Z: What do you mean? Which part? Write down, which part? 0:17:10.2 Dom the Hypnotist: For example, if your client, for example, they said, "I am being manipulated." So you would say, How could you help somebody, like somebody who's listening and they're going all right, I'm ready to take accountability...0:17:27.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Right, right, right.0:17:28.3 Mischa Z: Literally, how could you help them take accountability? Reframe that statement, write down what you think the problem is, my ex is a son of a bitch, why don't you reframe that or...0:17:44.4 Dom the Hypnotist: I would reframe that as, "Sorry your ex is a son of a bitch, maybe you have low standards... " right? It's true. My boss is treating me this way, well, maybe you just don't have a backbone. So again, there's no real exercise that I do with people, but when I explain this concept, people get it, they go.0:18:08.8 Mischa Z: Love it.0:18:09.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Right, yeah. I can't sit here and complain about the bully and be, it's him, it's a bully about... No, it's not, it's you... Because again, if you spoke a certain way, if you had a certain belief system about yourself, if you pick martial arts or whatever, nobody's gonna mess with you, you don't even have to say it, people just know they pick up telepathically or unconsciously they know, don't mess with that guy, right don't treat this person that way. So that's the first thing, because again if people are always blaming others and they don't take responsibility they're powerless. The other thing that's important going back to these different areas. So we all have what are called limiting beliefs and limiting decisions, so limiting belief is just a belief that we have that limits us being able to create a certain reality for ourselves. So I'll give you an example of limiting beliefs that I used to have... I used to have the belief that every time something is going good, that something bad is gonna happen, right? And a lot of people have this belief.0:19:25.5 Mischa Z: Waiting for the other shoe to drop.0:19:27.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Like, Oh, shoot, man it's getting too good. What's gonna happen? It's going to... Around the corner. Well, here's the thing, if you have that belief that therefore becomes your reality. So we will unconsciously for the most part, which means we're not aware of it, match our outside reality to match that belief. So once we get to that point, we'll self-sabotage, we'll do all these things so that we basically confirm that it's true. So when I real, I didn't even know I had that belief 'til I was 31 right, when I went through this process of... So once I realized I had it we go back, we find out what it is, So for me, what it was, you know my parents had been there like 15 and 17, they weren't, they didn't stay together, so you know, I would split time between my parents and so my mom when she was 18, she actually joined the military.0:20:19.2 Mischa Z: Okay.0:20:19.8 Dom the Hypnotist: And so by that time I was two, three years old, and when she joined the military, if you're not married, you can't live with your parent, right, so you somebody else has to watch you or whatever, if you're a single mother. I don't know if it's the same for single father... Yeah, maybe it's changed but this is 30 years ago, whatever.0:20:36.2 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:20:36.7 Dom the Hypnotist: So she ended up going off to boot camp, the whole thing, and I don't know, a year into it or whatever, she ended up meeting my stepdad and they got married. So when I was about three or four years old, when I was living with my family, splitting time between my grandparents and my dad's and all that, everything was going good, and then my mom got married, so then boom, I get shipped off and then I move across the country to Maryland right. Then we're in Maryland for a year or two. And you know, if you know anybody in the military, they move around all the time. So after about a year or two, once I'm settled in, I've got my new little friends in preschool and all that... Boom, Now we moved to Hawaii, and then we're in Hawaii for about four or five years. Everything's going good again. You know, I'm really doing excelling in sports, I have a bunch of friends, the whole thing, and then when I was about 10 years old, we had to move to Washington, and then we lived in Washington for two years. You get the point.0:21:30.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:21:30.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So, as subconsciously, as a survival mechanism, I developed a belief like, Hey, don't get too settled in, don't get too excited because everytime you do, something bad happens and you know, moving for a kid is a pretty traumatic experience.0:21:46.7 Mischa Z: It is.0:21:47.2 Dom the Hypnotist: You're the new kid at school. You always got a freaking like prove yourself, you gotta worry about people picking on you, the whole thing, so as a survival tool, my subconscious or unconscious mind created that belief system, so then throughout my entire life, because I had that belief, it manifested itself over and over again, right so when my relationships were really good, that would go bad or my friendships were really good, they would go bad, when I was working out and I was in great shape in the gym, everything, I would get an injury, when I was doing really well financially, I would somehow self-sabotage and put myself, you get it? So now, that I've gotten rid of that belief and I realize, Look, when things are going good, they continue to get better. And that's what happens, yeah, there's little blips and there's little days where you don't want, and things don't always go my way, but instead of it, my life being like this, it's more like this.0:22:43.8 Mischa Z: Love that.0:22:44.2 Dom the Hypnotist: You get little, little tiny bliss, but it's always consistently getting better.0:22:48.7 Mischa Z: Love it, yes.0:22:49.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So we gotta go through, limiting beliefs, and then the last thing is going through and figuring out something that's called getting rid of what we would call your negative motivation, or in other words your pain motivator, so when we're motivated in life, we are either motivated to avoid pain or we are motivated towards pleasure. Okay, so the thing with pain motivation is, it's very, very powerful right, we've all been there before, or you're super broke and you got two pennies are up together... You're pretty freaking motivated to get out of that situation, right because like, Oh my God, it's so painful, I gotta get out of it.[chuckle]0:23:31.8 Mischa Z: Necessity is the mother of invention.0:23:33.6 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, exactly, it's like Okay, I have to do it.0:23:36.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:23:36.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Well when we're in that point, you know, here's the pain, here's being broke or out of shape, or I just had a heart attack, or I just had to break up or whatever, we feel that pain. Boom! The motivation kicks in. But then what happens as soon as we're not really feeling that pain point anymore, what happens to that motivation...0:23:54.3 Mischa Z: Right it tapers off, or it's that whole.0:23:56.9 Dom the Hypnotist: We procrastinate, we make excuses, we self-sabotage, we don't show up on time, we do it, and then all the way back down where you feel that pain again and then... Boom. The motivation kicks in. So pain, motivation causes very inconsistent results, so now, pleasure motivation, which is the opposite of that, instead of focusing on what you want to... On what you want to avoid, we focus on what you want to go towards the pleasure that you wanna experience, so for example, going back to finances rather than thinking yourself, Man, I don't wanna be broke, I don't wanna be stressed out about money, I don't wanna worry about money, I don't want to... Whatever. Now you're thinking, because, here's the thing, do people not wanna be broke, no, that's not what they actually want. What they want is to have financial success or abundance or freedom or whatever it is. So once we can hyper-focus on what it is you actually want, then that over time and patience, that's, that becomes our new reality, so now what happens is, it's a little bit easier said than done.0:25:04.3 Dom the Hypnotist: We all know that, like or not everybody, but a lot of people know that. But what's happening that even though we know that, we keep going back to the pay motivators. Well, what happens... When we go through our life, you know our subconscious mind, its number one objective is protection, is survival, above everything else. So when we go through life and we experience, "negative events" and I put that in quotes because there's no such thing as a negative event, there's no such thing as a positive event, all events in life are neutral, the only thing that gives it a negative or positive is the perception of the person who's observing the event, so.0:25:40.8 Mischa Z: Love that.0:25:41.2 Dom the Hypnotist: When we "go through negative experiences" our subconscious mind will hold on to that experience because it thinks it's protecting us Right. So going to the finances, if you grew up broke, if your parents struggled with money, if you lived in a cockroach infested apartment, if you lived in a bad neighborhood, if... You know, when you're 18 years old, you got yourself into credit card debt, all these things that build up, build up, build up, will, when we're trying to focus on pulling ourselves out of that, we're like, okay, focus on the financial freedom, focus on abundance, focus on this, in the back of our head or sub-conscious is like yeah, but remember that one time? This happened, remember when you grew up. And this happened.0:26:23.4 Dom the Hypnotist: What we have to do is we have to go back and we have to resolve all the "negative events" that we're holding on to subconsciously, and then once you resolve it and our subconscious goes, "Oh, that wasn't a negative event, it was actually a positive experience that's helping me in my life." Then you just clean all that stuff out, and now when you start to focus on your future abundance, creating success, everything else, then it's much, much easier because you've resolved all that stuff. Does that make sense? 0:26:51.1 Mischa Z: It does. It makes absolute sense.0:26:53.2 Dom the Hypnotist: And the other thing is, we get what we focus on. So if we focus on what we don't want, that's exactly what we get. We've all heard, don't look at the color black, don't see the color black, don't notice it... And then black is everywhere, right? So maybe it's I don't wanna be broke, I don't wanna be stressed, I don't wanna be worried. Your reticular activating system going, "Alright, Dom wants to be broke, he wants to be stressed, he wants to be worried," and then we'll self-sabotage, so... And it's the same thing in relationships, it's the same thing with health. So that's what I would tell people if they are struggling in those lives, number one, take back responsibility, find out what your limiting beliefs are, get rid of them, and then get rid of that pain motivation, so you can make the things in your life happen at a rapid pace.0:27:34.6 Mischa Z: That's beautiful, that's beautiful. When you're doing your work with a client and they roll in and they're open-minded, how... I guess then you would start implementing the hypnotherapy techniques that you use, what's the arc of change of... I'm not sure if I'm asking this right, but how soon could somebody feel better? And I'm not saying they have to have riches or a new relationship or be back in fighting shape, but perhaps they get that relief or that assurance that, yeah, I'm heading in the right direction.0:28:20.9 Dom the Hypnotist: I tell people all the time, I'm a hypnotist, I'm not a magician. So I can only facilitate, I can't magically make you rich, I can't magically... You have to meet me halfway. So when I work with clients, I give them certain homework assignments, things to do, because it's a do-with process, it's not just, I'm gonna lay here and do all this and then magically in a month from now, I'm gonna win a million dollars in a lottery. Okay. Yeah, maybe that can happen, totally, but we're gonna be realistic. So to answer your question right away, so when people... Number one, many of us have beliefs that we're unconscious to, right? We're not aware of it. Like I told you, I had the belief that every time something's going good, something's going bad, or something bad is gonna happen. I didn't know that until I was 31. So when you become conscious of the limiting beliefs and things that you have that are going on, that in and of itself, just becoming aware of it, will start to release those limiting beliefs, right? 0:29:21.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So I have a client recently, we did our first session, and her whole thing was like, she made great money, but somehow she would always give it back, always give it back, always give it back. And what it was... And she wasn't aware of this when we brought it to her conscious what it was, is that throughout her life, her dad basically was always like her hero, right? He would always come and save the day ever since she was a kid, and then throughout high school her car would break down, dad's there to fix it. This happened and dad's got the money. So unconsciously, she was doing that, basically self-sabotaging her life so that her dad can come and save her, because she wanted to fill that from her dad, and then she knows that her dad wants to feel that... Wants to be that hero.0:30:11.8 Mischa Z: Yeah, he wants to be the hero.0:30:13.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Exactly, and it was so funny when she was telling me that I'm getting... I don't know why I'm getting the chills talking about this, but it's just... It's just funny, I'm thinking about my daughter. But it's so funny because that's how dads are, that's kind of like what we do. And I was watching a movie a week before that, and in the movie, everything starts going bad with the family and the dad, the daughter was not really connecting with the dad, and she's like, "Yeah, whatever, dad." That kind of attitude. And then when the family got into a sticky situation, the dad was like, "I've been waiting for this moment in my entire life," and I was like, I know what you mean. Sometimes I wish somebody would do something so I can be the hero. So it's like, once she became aware of that, all of a sudden she's like, "Oh, I'm doing this little dance with my dad, and it's how we filled our relationship and it's not necessary." And then within that moment, now that she's aware of it, when she starts to do it again, she go, "No, no, no, this is not right. This is only enabling me to continue to self-sabotage, so I have to stop, set up boundaries," that's another thing, setting up boundaries between you and others and yourself. And so yeah, so right away, that was our...0:31:24.6 Mischa Z: That's beautiful.0:31:26.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Our second session is next week, but yeah, she literally... And she's like, "I can't believe what just came to mind. I never would have thought," and there were some other stuff in there as well. But yeah, one session right away.0:31:39.5 Mischa Z: Beautiful, thank you so much for that. I have a question for you. You said homework assignments, why don't you go down your top three or four homework assignments that you have people do, if you'd be willing to do that. Yeah.0:31:53.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Some homework assignments are gonna be specific to that person, so for example, her, she's unconsciously spending money, spending money, spending money, so we have to have her track her finances, what is she spending on a daily basis? If somebody is overweight, they're unconscious to how many calories they're consuming on a daily basis, so we have to get them to track their calories so they can be aware of it consciously, right? 'Cause if you don't know how many calories you're eating, you're at 3000-4000 for the day, you have no clue. But when you track it and you're at 2000, you go, "Oh, shoot, do I really wanna eat this extra, whatever?" And then you're probably gonna know it's not... And then it'll be... It'll go away. So a lot of it is tailored to specific people, but then there are certain things that I'll have everybody do. So one thing is making a list of everything that you don't want in your life. I don't wanna have anxiety. I don't wanna...0:32:44.6 Dom the Hypnotist: I don't wanna feel depressed anymore, I don't want to be broke, I don't wanna be alone. I don't want whatever. Everything you can imagine that is in your mind that you don't want. Okay? So the purpose of writing that down is because... So there's the four stages of learning. The first stage of learning is what we call unconscious incompetence. So unconscious means we're not aware, and incompetence, we're doing something wrong. So most of the time, like I said, every time something's going good, something's going bad, I was unconscious incompetent. I had no idea that that was a belief that I had.0:33:21.5 Mischa Z: Ignorant. We're just ignorant to it.0:33:23.0 Dom the Hypnotist: 'Cause we're ignorant to it. So once you write it on paper and you sit there and you think, and you really put your mind into it, certain things will be like, "Okay, these are obvious." But then other things will pop up like, Oh, I wouldn't realize I was thinking about that. Okay, good.0:33:37.7 Mischa Z: So good.0:33:39.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Then what we do... So once you do that, you graduate to the second stage of learning, which is conscious competence... Sorry, conscious incompetence. So now you're still doing it wrong, but you're aware of what you're doing wrong, so you can at least identify it.0:33:57.7 Mischa Z: I love it.0:33:58.3 Dom the Hypnotist: So that's... When we write it down, we go, Okay, this is what I'm doing wrong. Then what I have them do is I'll take that piece of paper and I have them write down what it is that they actually want instead. Okay. And I remind them in a specific way. Now, the reason we're doing this going back to the pain, motivation, pleasure, is because again, somebody doesn't actually not want anxiety. What do they want? They wanna feel calm, they wanna feel at peace, they wanna feel confident, they wanna believe in themselves, they wanna... Whatever. So those are two different pictures in our mind. When you're thinking about, I don't want anxiety, when you think about I don't want anxiety, you feel anxious.0:34:38.7 Dom the Hypnotist: But when you think about, Okay, I wanna feel confident and secure and calm or whatever, you get a completely different picture, and then thoughts create pictures in our mind, those pictures create feelings in our body and then we act based off those feelings. So if we're always thinking, I don't want anxiety, I don't want anxiety, I don't want anxiety, our pictures in our mind is anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. We feel anxious and we act anxious. But if it's calm, confident, whatever, it creates a different picture. So I have them flip it. So then by doing that, they graduate to the third stage of learning, which is conscious competence. So they're... Competence means they're doing it right, but they have to make a conscious effort. They have to... Oh wait, I'm having that negative thought, switch it to this.0:35:24.8 Mischa Z: Love it.0:35:25.7 Dom the Hypnotist: And then what will happen is through the process of doing the work that we do, releasing negative emotions, beliefs, all this other stuff, is they will graduate to the fourth stage of learning, which is unconscious competence, which means you're doing it correctly and you don't even know you're doing it correctly.0:35:41.9 Dom the Hypnotist: We've all done this before. The first time you learn how to drive, you don't know what... You're using two feet, you're all jacked up, you don't even know you're doing it wrong. And then your dad goes, Hey, it's one foot dude. Take it off the gas. So then the next time you go to do it, you're like, Oh, wait a minute. And then you make that conscious effort like, "Wait, take my foot off. Okay. Press the gas, press the break." And then after doing it for a little while, we're freaking talking on the phone, typing in our GPS, driving on the freeway, doing all this crazy stuff, and we're just unconsciously competent. So that's the level that we get to, is having it to where their brain is just programmed to automatically visualize and to think about what it is they want, the pleasure motivation instead. Now, there's something really important, and this may help a lot of people because we've all done affirmations before or tried it or heard about it.0:36:38.0 Dom the Hypnotist: But how many times do those affirmations come true. Not a lot. Okay. And there's a couple of reasons why. Number one is, most of the time, sometimes you'll hear like a 30-year guru who's been in the personal development space for a really long time, and they're very, very successful and they've done it, they have proof, track record, the whole thing. And they'll say, "Okay, you just have to write down: I am a millionaire every day." Until it comes true. The problem with that is that when we affirm things that aren't true, our subconscious mind will not take it on as a suggestion. So if I just sit here, watch... We'll do it together, Mischa. Close your eyes.0:37:27.0 Mischa Z: Okay.0:37:28.9 Dom the Hypnotist: Say what's... Well, let's say, I don't know, maybe you are worth this kind of money, I don't know. But let's say in your head, I'm worth $10 million.0:37:38.8 Mischa Z: Okay.0:37:39.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay. Now, what does that little voice in your head tell you? 0:37:43.5 Mischa Z: Yeah, right. [laughter]0:37:44.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, right. Exactly. So imagine every day you're writing, you're affirming something that isn't true, isn't true, isn't true, isn't true, your subconscious is rejecting it. It's actually causing more harm than good, because here's what happens. Imagine you're in a relationship with somebody, and all they did was lie to you every day. Well, eventually you're gonna stop believing the things that they say and you're gonna have distrust. So our conscious mind is like the father, the mother, the parent, and our subconscious mind is like the child. Most of us don't realize that our subconscious is in the background, it's operating on its own. So if you're constantly lying to your child, your child is like, "Hey man, I don't believe anything you're saying." So when you create that distrust, it actually has the opposite effect. Now, what we wanna do, again, as a parent, we wanna build trust between our children so that our children will trust us and believe the things that we say. So when we affirm things, we have to affirm things that are actually true. So close your eyes again. Now, I don't know, I don't know, what's a financial goal that you have that you haven't achieved yet, that you want. Let's say a million dollars, 10 million, whatever.0:38:57.3 Mischa Z: Yeah. Okay. Let's say, let's say liquid for $2 million.0:39:01.5 Dom the Hypnotist: Perfect. So I want you to say, I am focused on being... Creating $2 million in liquid assets.0:39:11.6 Mischa Z: I am focused on...0:39:14.2 Dom the Hypnotist: Creating $2 million in liquid assets.0:39:16.4 Mischa Z: Good. I am focused on creating $2 million in liquid assets.0:39:20.7 Dom the Hypnotist: Perfect. Now, what does that little voice tell you and how does it feel now? 0:39:24.4 Mischa Z: Yeah, feels good. I'm like, "Heck, yeah. Let's get this done."0:39:28.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Right. Yeah. You feel it, you...0:39:29.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. Dude, literally, my house just got lighter. I'm like...0:39:35.4 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, you're like... Because now it's true. You are focused on creating that and you don't have it now, and that's okay, but now your subconscious goes, "Okay, that's what we're focused on? We're focused on creating two million dollars?" I don't care if you have two dollars in your bank account or 200000. If you are at that whatever level that is true, so then once it's true, your subconscious will take it on as a suggestion. And once it takes on as a suggestion, it will allow you to start to manifest that into your reality. But again, going back to the guru, sometimes they're so far removed from where they were 30 years ago that they forget... Yeah, they did want this to come true, but they were more focused on the realistic steps to get there, right? 0:40:18.4 Mischa Z: Yeah, yeah.0:40:19.9 Dom the Hypnotist: And that's another major thing with the homework, to answer your question, to circle back, so when I have them write that, I don't have them say I want this because they're in the feeling, in the space of wanting. We don't wanna necessarily want something because that doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna get it. But if I tell them I am focused on creating or becoming. Now it's more of, "Okay, I don't have that but I'm making it happen." I'm in the process of doing it as opposed to, I want this, right? It's a different frame of mind.0:40:54.1 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:40:54.4 Dom the Hypnotist: So let's say... So that's another thing and then the other thing is, if there is anything I can go back and tell my younger self, this would probably be it, is to create realistic goals that you can achieve, small, little achievable steps that you can build on because...0:41:12.2 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:41:14.0 Dom the Hypnotist: Again, you hear somebody say, "Oh, just think big and be worth 100 million or a billion." And then what would most of us do? We think about that and we go, "That'll never happen. That seems impossible. What if this happens? What if I get sued? What if this... What about if I have a problem with the police? How am I gonna get insured? And then we go, "Forget it. I don't wanna do it." Right? So it's kind of like this, Why can't you Mischa and when I say Mischa, I want you to build me a... I don't know, maybe you could do this but let's just assume you can't. I want you to build me a...0:41:41.9 Mischa Z: We'll find out.0:41:43.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Right? 0:41:47.7 Mischa Z: Okay.0:41:48.3 Dom the Hypnotist: How overwhelmed would you be at the thought of building a house? 0:41:49.6 Mischa Z: Yeah, it would be fairly overwhelming, for sure.0:41:51.9 Dom the Hypnotist: It'll be very overwhelming. And even if I said, "Look, Mischa it's a two million-dollar, 3 million-dollar house, you can have it free and clear, you just gotta figure out how to build it."0:42:00.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:42:01.3 Dom the Hypnotist: It would still be like, "Yeah, that sounds great but I don't know where to start." Right? 0:42:04.7 Mischa Z: Yeah. Yes. Ironically, I do have some experience and I could probably make it happen. But anyway, I get it. I get it, I'm sorry. No, I know.0:42:18.1 Dom the Hypnotist: What's that? 0:42:19.8 Mischa Z: I said, "I don't know." I just... It was funny, I thought I would cope to that. But go on, yes.0:42:25.8 Dom the Hypnotist: So, well what's the first thing you do before you build a house? You don't build the house. What do you do before that? Well, first you gotta find the piece of land that you're gonna build it on, right? And then you gotta get plans. You gotta do all that, but let's assume you have the plans all figured out. The first thing is I gotta go check this piece of land. I just gotta get the weeds and the trash and the grass, anything. I gotta get it cleaned out, right? That's the first step. Now, most people go, "Yeah, I could do that. That seems pretty easy. How hard can that be? I'm just cleaning it up." Right? 0:42:57.6 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:42:58.4 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay, cool. Now we gotta figure out how to flatten it out and some people might think, "Oh my God, I don't know how would I do that?" Think about it. If you had a 10 x 10 foot piece of land like the size of a small room...0:43:10.0 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:43:10.5 Dom the Hypnotist: You could figure out how to make that thing level. So if you could figure that out, you just duplicate your efforts.0:43:15.7 Mischa Z: Love it.0:43:16.4 Dom the Hypnotist: And go through the whole process, right? And then...0:43:17.4 Mischa Z: So good.0:43:17.4 Dom the Hypnotist: Step by step by step, you'd get there.0:43:21.2 Mischa Z: It's beautiful.0:43:21.9 Dom the Hypnotist: But what most people do is they put 90% of their attention on the house and 10% or zero on the what's the next step.0:43:32.5 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:43:32.9 Dom the Hypnotist: But really what we wanna do is we wanna flip it. So 10%, 'cause you still wanna have an idea of where you're going and what...0:43:40.8 Mischa Z: Yeah, the vision.0:43:41.7 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, the you wanna have the vision so 10, 20% goes on the house, and the other 80, 90% is what's the next step. What's the next step? 0:43:49.3 Mischa Z: It's beautiful.0:43:49.9 Dom the Hypnotist: What's the next step? 0:43:50.8 Mischa Z: It's beautiful.0:43:53.5 Dom the Hypnotist: So most people, when they come to me, they just have unrealistic expectations. I wanna lose 60 pounds. When's the last time you lost five pounds? [laughter]0:44:00.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay, so let's get to five pounds. Okay, cool. Then they get excited like, "Yeah, I could lose five pounds in two weeks. Cool." Then they do that, Okay, listen to... And then through time and patience and breaking it down before you know it, they're 60 pounds lighter and they're in the best shape of their life, right? So same thing financially. Rather than the 2 million, it's like, "Okay, I gotta save up. How do I get to 10 thousand, 20 thousand, 30, 50, 100, right? 0:44:22.9 Mischa Z: Yeah. It's beautiful. Dom, so so so good. Thank you for the last nuggets there. I'm gonna cut us off here really quick, and I think you've just over-delivered in such a massive way, so thank you, and thank you for... That little visualization was so good.0:44:44.9 Dom the Hypnotist: I am focused on creating today, yeah.0:44:46.7 Mischa Z: Yeah, it's beautiful. And so, audience here everyone who's listening and partaking, if this interview with Dom was fantastic and you wanna get even more content from Dom, upgrade to the all X all access pass for that bonus interview. And any final thoughts that we did not get a chance to cover, Dom? 0:45:13.1 Dom the Hypnotist: I mean, if you're thinking about signing up for this program or doing any personal development, this is what I always tell people, "Look, if you're on the fence"... I don't know how much it is or whatever, but if you're on the fence about it, I always think, "Okay, what's the worse gonna happen? You're gonna sign up for this plan and then maybe you don't really get much out of it. But on the upside potential, if you even just get one little nugget out of whatever, the VIP training and program...0:45:39.3 Mischa Z: Yeah.0:45:40.8 Dom the Hypnotist: Now, I know even one nugget, maybe certain people buy with this, certain people don't, and there's gonna be that person or those people they go, "Oh yeah, I have that same stupid belief, oh my God." Or "I've been thinking about doing too big too soon, and I gotta bring it." So even just one nugget, was worth whatever the cost of the VIP training is. So if you're on the fence about it, just freaking do it and I know it will be worth it.0:46:07.9 Mischa Z: I love that. Thank you so much for that Dom. And again, they can... Or not again, everybody can find you at domthehypnotist.com, and they can actually...0:46:23.1 Dom the Hypnotist: Go to... It's better if you find me on Instagram or YouTube. Those are the two main platforms that I interface with people with.0:46:28.1 Mischa Z: Okay.0:46:30.3 Dom the Hypnotist: So yeah, if you wanna go on there and then... Are you talking about to do a consultation, is that...0:46:33.5 Mischa Z: Yes, so I was just gonna say for a consultation, they can get a free consultation so go ahead and tell them where they can do that.0:46:38.6 Dom the Hypnotist: Yeah, yeah. So if you go on to my YouTube or on my Instagram, and I don't know if you're gonna have a link, I can send you the link to schedule a consultation, but if any of this stuff kind of buy with you and you thought like, "Okay, yeah." There are certain things that I don't help people with 'cause I don't feel I'm the best person for it, and a lot of times I have to turn people... I turn more people away than I accept just because I can't help everybody with every problem, right? So I don't feel like if somebody has a drinking problem... And it's not that I don't wanna help them, it's just that I've never experienced that, and so I don't know what it's like, so I really can't connect on that level. I'm not confident in myself that I could help somebody quit drinking. So quit drinking, quit smoking, things like that, it's not really my thing. But again, the relationship stuff, the health stuff, the career stuff, if that is something, fill out the... Click the link I'll share it with you... Fill out the form. If it's something we feel like we can help you with, that we can honestly and truly help you improve on, then we'll schedule a consultation with someone from my team and they go through and see if we'd be a good fit.0:47:42.2 Mischa Z: Perfect, perfect. Fantastic. And the link is next to this interview, so anybody watching, please click on the link. Get your free consultation, and then, where was I here? Yes, click the button on this page to get unlimited access to all of these interviews and the all X all access pass, so I'm gonna end right now and then we'll get started on our next session.0:48:12.3 Dom the Hypnotist: Okay, cool.

Did your kiddo get a new digital device or gaming console for Christmas? A new game? Here are a few of my top tips that I wish someone had shared with me!   Add a BARK subscription to your Pinwheel phone or smart phone for added security. Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off for life! https://www.bark.us BARK HOME: CLICK here!! Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Get tips and tools for your own wellness using the Align Your Life Wellness channel on the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @alignyourlife on the app. You can also get more info at https:.//www.dollydenson.com or email me at dolly@dollydenson.com For a FREE DIGITAL RESOURCE GUIDE download CLICK HERE or go to https://www.dollydenson.com/digitalresources For more info on the Tick Talk Watch: CLICK HERE. Use code BETHATMOM for $10 off!! Grab the Pinwheel phone for your kid's first phone, and avoid the addiction and battle created by giving a smartphone too soon: Click here or go to https://www.pinwheel.com/?via=dolly and use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!  More info on the Gabb Wireless phone: CLICK HERE or use code BETHATMOM for a discount at https://www.gabbwireless.com Covenant Eyes 30 day free trial CLICK HERE!! Connect with me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/dollydenson or https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement  FULL TRANSCRIPTION: Speaker 1 (00:00): So Christmas has come and gone. The gifts are unwrapped. Everything is out and the kids are excited and having fun with their new toys and new things. Right? Well, if one of those gifts happened to be some form of new tack, a phone, a gaming console, a new game. This episode is going to give you a few tips moving forward. So that that form of tech that they are interacting with is a positive experience going forward. Stay tuned, Speaker 2 (00:31): Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson Speaker 1 (00:55): Friends. Did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. Alrighty. So on the one hand, it is crazy to think that we are already in the last week of 2020. If you listen to this, when it is first published, on the other hand, it is like it's been the longest year of our lives, right? Speaker 1 (01:45): I cannot believe all that we have gone through this year. It's just crazy, but today's episode. I just want to talk about a few things that looking back on when I introduced my kids to all of the digital things, I wish I would have known simple things that you can do today and do moving forward to help your kid have a positive trajectory when it comes to using that gaming console or whatever the digital thing is that you gave your kid. If you listen to my other episodes, if you've been following my podcast, some of this may be repeat, but it's just good to reiterate a few key things that I think were pivotal decisions for my family when it came to these things. So I was like scrolling through my social media on Christmas day and looking at all of my friends posting about their kids and the things that they got. Speaker 1 (02:40): And it was just made me shutter almost when I would see the pictures and the videos of kids opening up the digital things. And personally, I don't think that these things are innately bad, but we have to set up the boundaries and the guidance that our kids need with these things. And it is my belief that they absolutely need guidance. And it is just not something that they can navigate on their own. Just like we wouldn't throw them into a swimming pool. Like if you've listened to my podcast for any length of time, you've heard me use that analogy that we give our kids floaties and lessons to swim. And it's the same thing when it comes to the digital things and access to the digital world. There's so much information out there that they literally drown in it. If we do not provide floaties and guidance, as they enter that, you know, see or pool of information, curiosity will get the best of them. Speaker 1 (03:42): You know, it's just the nature of, I don't want to say the beast, but the beast in the sense that it's meant to be addicting, it's meant to draw them in. It's meant to take them down rabbit holes. And then there's the aspect of the people coming that can access them in many different forms. You know, all of the things so definitely need to provide guidance. Now, as a side note, I just want to tell you about something that happened with me on one social media platform that I have joined. I joined a group that was focused on like screen activity and kids and families with screens. And I posted in there about one of my podcast episodes that I recently published. And I got a message from one of the admins asking me what my stance was on screens said that they had looked through my website and, you know, looked at my podcast and they couldn't see what my stance was related to screens. Speaker 1 (04:37): And I kind of thought it was the oddest question because do I have to have like a statement of what my view is on screens? And I think the, just of that question was, do you believe that people should have access to screens that kids should have access to screens? And there's actually this movement out there of like a screen free family. And I get the point of that in the sense that when you get to a point of addiction and, you know, without any monitoring or guidance, some kids, some families do have to take a detox from all of the things. But personally, I use, you know, I have a tablet that I have to use for work. I work remotely for my job as a nurse practitioner, I traveled to people's homes to visit them and I come back home. So I use a screen, I run my business through a screen. Speaker 1 (05:26): It's just like, I don't see that we can do this complete disconnect. It's not realistic for me because even my husband runs his business virtually as well. So screens are a part of our lives. So yes, I think there are moments that it is good to detox from everything disconnect, you know, reconnect with each other, those types of things. But I don't think it's a realistic stance going forward. And as we let our kids grow up and move out into the world, we don't want them to have that addiction to the screens. We want to have a separate, you know, identity that is not formed from that screen. But realistically, I don't think that we can be screen-free completely all the time. It just doesn't work. Especially in these COVID times that we're in right now. And we have to connect virtually in order to do our jobs and, you know, work out and all of the different things. Speaker 1 (06:18): So I just thought it was kind of an odd question, but the ultimate result of me letting her know my stance, which seems crazy to even have to share that my post was not allowed to post into that group. So I guess I just don't belong in that group that is trying to help guide people safely with screens, but it is what it is. You know, we all have to take a stance somewhere. And my stance is just that there are moments where we need to detox and be free of screens. And I certainly recommend that even if it's just a day or a weekend, but ultimately realistically, we cannot move forward into the world without screens. It just is not realistic. So I don't know if you wanted to know that information, but that is where I stand and I'm sticking to it. Okay. Speaker 1 (07:03): So let's talk a little bit about what you do if you just introduced your kiddo to some form of tech, if it was an Xbox, some form of gaming console, other than an X-Box, if it's a handheld device fit is a phone, okay. If you have gotten your kid, a gab phone or a pinwheel phone, kudos to you for introducing them to that, because you have saved yourself some time, but there are still things that you need to focus on and, you know, put some boundaries around. So the first thing that I want to say is location, location, location. It is not just buying real estate where that is important. It is so very important to have boundaries in place for where that console or device is used or lids. Okay. Now let me take you back. A couple of years, we bought our youngest and X-Box, and prior to that games were being played on our desktop computer and our computer room. Speaker 1 (08:00): And honestly, we were kind of like annoyed with the constant chatter and getting excited, playing the game and talking to friends. And so when we bought that X-Box we were excited to move it into this kiddos bedroom. It was like an intentional decision. You could have some privacy, you could play as games. And we wouldn't listen to his chatter all day long. I feel ashamed to say that now, because what happened was that was a pivotal decision that I wish I could go back on. So very bad other than not buying the X-Box at all. But here's the thing. When you put a device or allow a device into the bedroom, what happens is a couple of things. If it's a gaming console, the games themselves are addicting and draw them in and make it to where they kind of lose track of time. And they end up spending a ton more time doing that, then other things. Speaker 1 (08:54): And so they are in their rooms, isolated with the door closed. It just creates this feeling of being separate and isolated from the family. Those feelings may be misunderstood because they don't really know how to embrace that feeling. And it may kind of morph into affecting their self-esteem and their communication with the rest of the family, all of those types of things. The other thing is that you've opened up a little can of worms by allowing them to number one, access that at any time you don't have control over it. There are ways that you can set limits on it, but it's still hard to monitor it when it is in their bedroom. Number two, it is tempting. It draws them in to where they want to get up at night and they want to play the game. They want to get access to their friends, you know, that type of thing. Speaker 1 (09:42): And then number three, it opens the portal for predators and people with bad intentions for our kids to access them without you knowing it. If you listen to my episode about rooming and bullying, one of the things that a lot of these predators do, the one of the first things they do is ask where are you at? Are your parents in the room with you? And so when they are in a bedroom, it is more likely for things to happen that we don't want to happen. Okay. So location, location, location, if it is a phone, I would still put limits on where it can be used. I do allow my older kids to have their phones and they now self- regulate, I haven't provided the best guidance for them. That kind of slipped through my fingers until we got to the third kiddo. But our rules for the third one is that the device stays in the common area of the house and is housed in that area at night. Speaker 1 (10:38): It never goes into the bedroom, but the same thing with that, it has the same concerns and impact as the gaming console will, when it is put in or allowed in to the bedroom. I don't know that. I mean, you could say they can use it during the day in their bedroom, but again, it creates isolation. It's where they sit in their room and don't come out. And I will say that the decision for us to put the gaming console in the bedroom, that it eventually became a thing where before we had all this chatter and could hear all the things going on, and then it became to where we never were spoken to. And, you know, there's just this just a separation. Okay. Now we have an Xbox that is a family. X-Box we no longer own the one that we bought and put in the bedroom and that family X-Box stays on the living room TV. Speaker 1 (11:26): And it really is not something that is played regularly unless they have friends over or my best friend's kids are here and they all play together. It is an active, fun activity for them to play together on that. We mostly only do games on there that are active, you know, like on the, we, we have a we as well. So they, you know, play active things where they're up and jumping around, you know, playing some sports games, something like that on that family owned gaming console. So if you bought your kiddo a gaming console to put in their bedroom, I would rethink that. Like, I highly urge you to rethink that. And at this point, make the change. Now they play it in a central area and that way, you know, what's going on. And it also keeps that connection between y'all and, you know, you can set up boundaries easier that way and avoid the addictive tendencies that are so very much what I want to say. Speaker 1 (12:23): Like easier to go down the rabbit hole of if it's in a bedroom. Okay. So location, location, location, I cannot stress this one enough. It is vital that you set down rules and boundaries around where this thing is allowed to be consumed and used. Okay. The second thing that I want to emphasize is time, the amount of time that is allowed on that device. I know it's hard to do when you've given them a phone or this console, and you want them to just have fun, or maybe you rationalize it by, well, you know, we're in these COVID times. And so they don't get to see their friends as much, and this is their way to reach their friends, you know? Okay. So I get that and I've done that, but they still need time limits. If it is a gaming console and they're playing games, they absolutely need time limits because the games are set up to draw them in to make them addicted. Speaker 1 (13:17): And it gives them if you've listened to some of my episodes, I talked about this a few episodes back. It is meant to draw them in and like have addictive properties to it so that they continue to do it. And they get like a high dopamine reward without much work. So what that does over time is it desensitize their brain for the dopamine. And so they need to play more and more and more to get that same effect they have compared the effect of gaming as using drugs. No joke. They've done studies about it and said, it lights up the parts of the brain that are lit up with using drugs. So it is very powerful, very addicting. Now this does not mean that you have to box that up and return it, return it to wherever you bought it. But what this means is it is recommended to limit the time specifically for gaming things to a certain amount of time that is balanced by a low dopamine activity. Speaker 1 (14:14): So a low dopamine activity would be something that doesn't give you instant rewards, such as like baking a cake, you know, making cupcakes, doing some sort of craft, drawing, doing some form of manipulative thing in their hands, like a Rubik's cube or caboodle game. Those are two things that I bought my kids for Christmas. The caboodle games are a big hit. And then the Rubik's cubes, too. There's all kinds of Rubik's cubes. We probably will never get the Rubik's cube solved. I still have one from when I was a kid that I never solved, but it gives the kids something to do. I have them on the living room, coffee table, and they grab it and mess with it while they're on the couch, instead of, you know, sitting there with a phone. So you want to balance it out from the high dopamine and the low dopamine activity. Speaker 1 (14:57): So what that looks like for a younger kid would be like 30 minutes on 30 minutes off for an older kid, maybe an hour on and an hour off. It is so easy to let this slide because you're busy. You have other things to do. They're going to have a tendency to push back on that, but I highly recommend you find some way to be strict with that set a timer, you know, make it clear to them that you will not have any play time. If you don't stay with these limits, you know, we're going to set this up. It's important to me because I care about you and your health. I want you to play this game and have fun, but you also need to do something off of it. You know, have an open communication. It's not just about, mom wants to be mean, mom wants to set down the limits. Speaker 1 (15:42): Mom cares about you. And mom knows that this is something that can be a wonderful thing to connect with friends, to do new things. I know all your friends are doing it, so I want you to do it, but we're going to set down these limits and that's just the way it is for now. Okay. So when it comes to phones, if you bought a pinwheel phone, you have a leg up on this because on the pinwheel phone, you can set up modes to where there is a certain time where they can do certain things. And the way the pinwheel phone is set up, it is just made to where it doesn't have as much of a draw to spend a ton of time on it. The, and you know, like any of the apps that are allowed to be on the pinwheel phone have basically been evaluated by this group of therapists and, you know, people that are looking at how these apps interact with kids' minds, so that it is not like with a regular phone, it's not drawing them in just like mindless activity. Speaker 1 (16:39): Everything on the pinwheel phone has a purpose behind it. And it's designed to make it a tool, not so much a form of addiction. So if you got a pinwheel phone, you can set that up with modes, but I still recommend, I mean, you can make it to where it won't do a thing at certain times of the day or night, but I still recommend you take that phone at night. And that will be my third tip is whatever you have. It needs to be shut down and taken away at night. If you find that your kids are breaking these guidelines or rules that you are setting up, then that's the time where you need to pull back on allowing those things and make sure that they know that these are rules that are not going to be broken, or they lose their time on those things. Speaker 1 (17:22): That it's a privilege, not a right to use the things. And if they cannot monitor and control what they're doing and abide by the rules that you have set in place for their own wellbeing, then it's time to pull back on those things a little bit. That would be the time for them to have some screen-free time to break that addiction and to detox. And I know if you haven't experienced that, you're probably like what, like my kid wouldn't do that. I've raised them, you know, blah, blah, blah, trust me. I said the same things, but it's just a nature of these technology things. They are made to draw the kids in. And it's not a character flaw of your kiddo. It is not something that you have not done. It is simply the way these things are set up. And that's why you need to have these things in place to help them. Speaker 1 (18:06): So I would take their devices at night. If you find that, you know, they're getting up in the middle of the night and your rule is to not play the X-Box that here they are in the middle of the night, then you need to take the cord or you need to cut the Wi-Fi, you know, whatever it takes, you need to take the game away because the rules need to be followed or the stuff needs to be taken away. Okay. Okay. So the next tip that I want to tell you is just to be aware of the settings, if you're giving them any games or things that they are using, be aware of the settings and set up privacy modes and know if, if they can reach other people through those things, know who they're talking to have a conversation with them about not speaking with people. Speaker 1 (18:44): They do not know in person do not have anything set up on there to where it has their location, like a GPS thing, and do not give out personal information to anyone. You know, if you do not know them in real life, then you do not give out information. So I would be aware of what the settings are on, whatever you're giving them, the app, the phone, the gaming console, whatever, and set it up. Privacy mode. Don't allow there to be a location, those types of things. And then the last tip that I want to tell you is it's exhausting to keep up with all of these things, right? It's exhausting. And you're probably, if you're new to this and you've just started listening to my podcast, or you've just given this first thing and you found my podcast somehow, you're probably like, Holy cow, I want to take this back. Speaker 1 (19:28): Let me just take this back to the store. I don't have time for this. There is hope I promise you. There is hope. There are a couple of things that are like a mothers dream, a mother's gift and things that I wish I would have had when I first started down this path. When my kids were like middle school age, and a couple of those things I highly, highly recommend. One is bark. Bark is a parental control system that you install on your kid's phone. If you've given them a smartphone and it will monitor conversations, you can also put bark on the pinwheel phone. As of now, the gab phone doesn't have the capability, but the pin will phone. You can install bark. And if you're, you know, thinking well with the pinwheel phone, it has the modes and all of the things and all the apps can't communicate out to other people. Speaker 1 (20:12): So why would I need bark? But it's important if they can reach anybody, which means through text that you have some form of monitoring. And if you are not someone that has experienced walking this path, yet you may be saying, I don't want to monitor my kid. They'll tell me what's going on. I trust them, just trust me as a mother that is sitting on the other side of this, that you need something monitoring them. It's not just like it monitors their activity. It monitors what they search. It monitors websites that they try to access. But it also monitors conversations and bark has been known to help parents be aware of their kid with suicidal talk or different talk of violence, like mass shootings at schools. It is just amazing. If you look at their website, barked at us, they have their statistics. They have information on there, but it is amazing. Speaker 1 (21:06): The things that they have been able to detect and alert parents about or authorities about, and, you know, intervene to the sense that they can, you know, redirect that information, that conversation, that kiddo, whatever. So if you've got a smartphone or a pinwheel phone, highly, highly, highly recommend you get bark, they do have a seven day free trial. And if you use my code, be that mom altogether, be that mom or use the link in my show notes that will give you 20% off of the subscription for life. So as long as you have bark, you'll get 20% off. They have monthly plans, which are really, really affordable, and they have the annual plan, which saves you a little bit more money. But if you use my code, be that mom get you 20% off. And they do have a seven day free trial. When you sign up for that, make sure you look at their emails that they send with help on setting it up. Speaker 1 (21:56): And I promise you, it is the best thing out there overall in how it monitors and its ability to do all of the things compared to other companies, other things out there, it just simply is the best they have the best customer service. And if you have any trouble with setting it up, do not hesitate in contacting their tech team. And they will even get on a zoom call with you and help walk you through the information. And all of the things, one thing related to that is if you got your kid, an Apple device, Apple in and of itself is harder to monitor than an Android phone on one end. That is a good thing in the sense that Apple creates more privacy, more security around what you have on your phone and what you're doing on your phone. But when it comes to a Apple phone, being in the hands of your kids, it makes it harder to monitor and especially a few specific social media apps like Snapchat and Tik TOK, but that's a whole nother can of worms and not something I recommend you take lightly, but we can chat about that another time. Speaker 1 (22:54): But bottom line is bark is the best service out there. If you are having trouble monitoring your kids, Apple phone, it is not barks shortcomings. It is the limitations that Apple puts out. And so if you know, you get to a point to where you were having serious issues with your kid and an Apple phone, then maybe it's time to take that phone back. Maybe it's time to give them a pinwheel phone or an Android phone or no phone at all. Okay. But big picture bark is the best thing out there as far as helping you to monitor. Now, I think I might've skipped a little bit ahead with that conversation, but it's so very crucial for you to have some way to monitor and help you out. Even if you are someone who has all the time in the world, there is stuff that's going to be missed. Speaker 1 (23:35): Kids delete things and, you know, try to hide things. And it's just the nature of kids with curiosity and all of the things. So the other thing is just to open communication with them about all of this and make sure that they can talk to you of course, but I still would put some type of monitoring thing on them. The next level of monitoring that I highly recommend, well, there's two of them. One is whatever device you have putting screen-time controls on there. If it's an Android device, it's through Google family link. If it is an Apple device, use the screen time controls from your Apple device to control their phone, you can set up to where they can't use it. During certain times they can't add contacts or they can, they can't add apps or they can purchases in apps, all of the things. Speaker 1 (24:17): So there's a ton at your fingertips, just in the phone, you know, with the phone, but then add bark on it. That gives you another layer. And then the last thing related to that is using something like bark home using like you're at your wife eye level using either a router that has parental controls. There are several out there, or if you're not techie and that makes your mind go, Ooh, a little bit. When you think about trying to figure out the router thing, bark home is a great alternative to that. It basically hooks up to your router and provides like a filter and it will monitor all devices that are on your home wifi at a high level. And then you can set it up to where it monitors specific devices at a closer level, including gaming, consoles, laptops, Roku devices, the phones, all of the things you set it up. Speaker 1 (25:08): You, you know, you find that device that connects to your wifi and then you name it. And then you can go in and set up limits for that device. As far as like, when it can be used, what websites it can access those types of things. And when I say it monitors all the devices at a high level, it basically blocks the most explicit of explicit sites for all devices in your house. And then you can set it up for more specific things. If there's a certain device that you want shut down at a certain time. So it basically blocks access to the wifi, you know, all of those things. So I do have an episode that is specific for bark home. So if you scroll back through my episodes, I'm not sure which episode exactly that it is, but I have one about Bart home. Speaker 1 (25:49): I have one about Bart. I have one about the pinwheel phone. I have one about the gab phone. There's tons of information, my podcasts. So scroll back and listen to those things if you need that. But those are the things that I would look at as you move forward with this device, gaming console, whatever it is that your gave your kid for Christmas, this does not have to be a negative thing. It does not have to be a huge chore. I always say that what this is is in order to introduce your kid to the digital world and all of the things, it takes a village. And so I hope that I am part of your village. I hope that you use the tools such as bark and bark home for your village, and then you, the communication between your kiddo and you as part of your village use the rules and the boundaries is that you're setting up as part of your village. Speaker 1 (26:34): You need to, I have all of these different layers to your village to help you with this. It does not have to be a negative thing, but it absolutely needs to be a place of, for your kiddo. Okay? So I can't believe this episode is as long as it is. Cause usually my episodes are shorter, but I hope that you found this helpful. If you do not have bark, use my code@bark.us, or use the link in my show notes to get a 20% off your subscription. Plus a seven day free trial. My code is be that mom, if you need a pinwheel phone, my code is B that mom 10 and all spelled out. I also have a code for gab wireless. It's be that mom. So, and then I can put a link for bark home, which you can buy on Amazon in the show notes as well. Speaker 1 (27:14): So there are tons of tools out there. And this is kind of like, like I've said in another episode, this is like a dance that you kind of have to do when it comes to all of the tech and digital things. You have to kind of see how your kid interacts. You don't know how your kid is going to interact. I personally don't think that you can know ahead of time if your kid is ready. I think there are certain things that you can look at to see if they're ready, you know, based on age and all of that. But it has to be something that when you introduce it, that you set up time limits and you set up location limits, and then, you know, you move forward in a proactive way for your kiddo. Okay? And like I've said many times before the be that mom movement is about you being a proactive mom on this roller coaster of life. As we raise kids in the digital age, we are the first generation of parents to do it. And we are going to knock this thing out of the ballpark as long as we stick together. And we be that mom's strong. Okay. So you have a fabulous day and I will chat with you next time. Speaker 2 (28:14): Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join. Dolly's free community till next time. Speaker 1 (28:28): Hey there, before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up every day, take care of yourself first so that you could be better present for our digital native kids.

So Christmas is over, but it ain't the New Year, so get doinked or whatever you do and listen. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/fromthehip/support

So Christmas 2020 continued the theme of 2020 moving at a rapid pace. Many had to celebrate differently this year as they are dealing with loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, loss of home, separation from loved ones. But no matter how you celebrated, I pray that had something that brought you joy

So Christmas is over  you've  got turkey sandwich's for days , so take along walk and put the podcast on ,the boys take a look at The Funhouse  another video nasty from 1981 we also give each other present find out what we give each other and who wins James quiz have a great boxing day Follow James on Twitter http://twitter.com /woodcop77 Follow Warren on Twitter http://twitter.com/MrBeardMCR  

I often get asked what's Christmas like in East or Southeast Asia. On this Christmas morning in Ho Chi Minh City I woke up to the din of traffic noise, sellers with loud megaphones blasting out messages of coconuts and brooms for sale, and the loud banging of construction. So Christmas is just another day here but of course it's not surprising with Christmas not being a national holiday a only maybe a grade above how Halloween is celebrated. A brief talk on Christmas in this part of the world and a look back at my last trip to Northern Thailand in 2016 visiting Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai.Support the Podcast:https://www.patreon.com/FarEastTravelsWrite a review in the Apple Podcasts:https://apple.co/37P7ksq

So Christmas has come again. Despite 2020 being virtually non-existent Christmas always comes! I am looking forward to it a little bit more this year than previous years though. A lot of the commercialization has been forgotten about, and with all the negativity in the world I have been trying to focus on the little people in my life, and making them happy.  Lucky for me, my kids enjoy music! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!  Anyway embrace what you have, enjoy what you've got and let's look forward to flushing this turd of a year away. Here is to 2021, may it be a far cry better than this one has been.  Don't forget to tune into Boot Boy Radio New Years Eve as I spin you into the New Year. You can also tune in Live on www.BootBoyRadio.net  Sunday (5:30 pm - 7:00 pm EDT- 22:30 - 24:00 GMT)  Tuesday and Thursday (5:00 pm - 7:00 pm ET - 22:00 - 24:00 GMT)  As always thanks for listening ~Cheers Phil & Rick - https://linktr.ee/RocksteadyTonight Visit our Sponsor www.CovertVinyl.com - Use the code BOOTBOY at checkout to Save 15% off your order. Rocksteady Tonight is also available iTunes:   The Playlist is as follows: Reel Big Fish - Carol Of The Beers Judge Dread - Christmas In Dreadland The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - This Time of Year Bite Me Bambi - Holiday Cheer The Toasters - Christmas Time Again Fayetteville Ska Alliance - Why Can't Every Holiday Just Be Christmas? The Downsetters - Rudolph Was a Rude Boy Ska Santas - Jingle Bell Ska Reel Big Fish - Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Slow Gherkin - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight) The Joe Gibbs Family Of Artists (feat. Horace Andy) - Oh Little Town Of Bethlehem Let's Go Bowling - Oatmeal for Xmas The Selecter - A Christmas Fable Ska Santas - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Ska-J - Jingle Bell Rock Rude Bones; The Down Stair Sessions - Tonite It's Christmas Mad Caddies - I'm Going Surfing for Xmas The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - X'Mas Time (It Sure Doesn't Feel Like It) The Suicide Machines - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch The Selecter - Skank 'Til Christmas The Taj Motel Trio - God Rest Ye Bad Manners - Christmas Time Again Mighty Diamonds - Frosty the Snowman Suggs - Sleigh Ride Dennis Alcapone; Tippa Irie; JD Surabaya - Dancehall Christmas Dr. Ring Ding - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Santa Baby Backyard Superheroes - Coal in My Stockings The Toasters - God Rock You Steady Gentleman Cousin Oliver - Naked Christmas Toots & The Maytals - It's Christmas Baked A La Ska - Follow That Ska Bunch Of Believers - So Many Santas Freddie McGregor - Everyday Is Christmas Toots & The Maytals - Happy Christmas Winston Reedy - A Wonderful Christmas Detroit Riddim Crew - Sleigh Ride Skatune Network - Feliz Naviska    

At the North Pole there was a little townwhere Santa Claus lived all year round.One chilly nightthe world became all white:it was the morning of Christmas Eve,And Santa needed to leave.Meters and meters of snow,that were still falling slow.The sleigh was buried deep,under a big white heap.“What to do?” Santa asked himself;then he called his best elf.After an hour “I got it!” the elf cheered,as he caressed his little beard.“I need a sorcerer, a wand and a hat,but please do not bring his big fat cat!”.Elves do not like cats you see,the ones in the houses, or worst, the ones running free.“Call the sorcerer, at once!” cried Santa to his workersand they responded to his orders.They hurried all over the place:“We've lost the phone! It's been misplaced”An elf had a brilliant idea:she was the head-cook Sophia.“Use a banana like a phone!” she saidwhile the reindeers she fed.The things after that where very quick:“Oh no!” they cried “The sorcerer is sick!!!”But he was very kindand he told them what he had in mind.“Gather around and hear:there is a solution don't fear!You don't need my magicNo need to be so tragic.A pinch of strength and courage,then you can have your porridge!”“Work, workers, work all day long!Don't stand there: be strong!”So they shovelled the snow, singing a song:We work all day longOh, for Santa Claus.We don't fear the snow or some work, so…WORK, WORK AND WORK!WORK, WORK AND WORK!All… day… long!!!And they did.In a couple of hours they uncovered the sleigh that, on the ice, slid.So Christmas was savedand this story was made.So open your ears:Don't waste your tears!Roll up your sleevesAnd praise you will receive Il dilemma di Natale (traduzione) Al Polo Nord c'era una piccola città dove Babbo Natale viveva tutto l'anno. In una fredda notte il mondo divenne tutto bianco: era la mattina della vigilia di Natale, ma Babbo Natale doveva partire. Metri e metri di neve, che continuava a cadere lentamente. La slitta era sepolta in profondità, sotto un grande mucchio bianco. “Cosa fare?” Si chiese Babbo Natale; poi ha chiamato il suo elfo più fidato.Dopo un'ora “ho capito!” l'elfo esultò, mentre si accarezzava la piccola barba. “Ho bisogno di uno stregone, una bacchetta e un cappello, ma che non porti il suo grosso gatto grasso!”. Agli elfi non piacciono i gatti, quelli nelle case, o peggio, quelli che corrono liberi. “Chiamate subito lo stregone!” gridò Babbo Natale ai suoi operai e loro risposero ai suoi ordini. Si affrettarono dappertutto: “Abbiamo perso il telefono! Non si trova più”Un elfo ebbe un'idea brillante: era la cuoca Sophia. “Usa una banana come un telefono!” ha detto mentre alle renne dava da mangiare. Le cose dopo sono state molto veloci: “Oh no!” gridarono “Lo stregone è malato !!!” Ma è stato molto gentile e ha detto loro quello che aveva in mente. “Riunitevi e ascoltate: c'è una soluzione non temete! Non avete bisogno della mia magia Non c'è bisogno di essere così tragici. Un pizzico di forza e di coraggio, poi potete avere il vostro porridge!” “Lavorate, lavoratori, lavorate tutto il giorno! Non restate lì: siate forti!” Così hanno spalato la neve, cantando una canzone:Lavoriamo tutto il giorno Oh, per Babbo Natale. Non temiamo la neve o un po' di lavoro, quindi… LAVORA, LAVORA E LAVORA! LAVORA, LAVORA E LAVORA! Tutto il giorno!!! E lo hanno fatto. In un paio d'ore scoprirono la slitta che, sul ghiaccio, scivolava. Quindi il Natale è stato salvato e questa storia è stata scritta. Pertanto apri le orecchie: non sprecare le tue lacrime! Rimboccati le maniche e riceverai lodi.

So Christmas is cancelled , i'm not surprised. Unfortunately so is my interview for this episode. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/cheftales/message

So we're going to talk about the three steps to prepare your business and sometimes your life for the upcoming holiday or any holiday. And we broke it down into three steps to make this easy. You know, this is a winning Wednesday podcast, so we're going to get into it step by step by step. And this is going to be really important, but let me first tell you what I don't want you to do.I do not want you to go on holiday. Whatever holiday that is and well on holiday constantly have this thread pulled of like, is this working? Is this breaking? Is this going, is this happening? That's preventing you from doing the thing that you're running the business for, which is to be present in, in your life. To be present and spending time with people you love to be present and having activities to be present and enjoying yourself.The reason that we do what we do and we have the impact that we have is so that we can also utilize that business as leverage, to have an impact in our life and we have to be present. So my one thing is I don't want you to be a firefighter. You don't get to go on holiday, go on Christmas, go on new years, going any holiday of the year and then come back and be like, I gotta put on all these fires.You can prevent all of them. And with some focus and intentionality. You will be able to enjoy yourself, come back stronger than ever, and absolutely rock the timeframe after the holiday. And I said, you can apply this to any holiday, but we're going to be talking about Christmas and new year's cause that's coming up, but I'm recording this podcast.So the team, and I broke this down into three simple buckets for you on how to prepare your business and your life for the upcoming holiday. And the three buckets are simple. Bucket. Number one is communicate. Bucket number two is test and bucket number three is clean. And it says again, bucket number one is communicate bucket. Number two is test and bucket number three is clean. And so I'm going to take you through each of these buckets and tell you what we're doing and what we recommend doing. And I want you to use this as a guide, add things to it that feel good to you. Take things away that might not be aligned to you or your business sync with your team. On coming up with a plan, from everybody, from you in the vision seat, CEO seat CMOs, CTOC wherever you are in the business. Or if you're an employee in a business, bring this to the boss of the business, bring this to the top, to help everybody win and come up with your plan. And so bucket number one on how to prepare your business for the upcoming holiday is number one communicate.And the first place that you have to communicate is with your team. So you have to make sure that everybody is aware of all the important initiatives that have to be wrapped up before the holidays. You have to be aware of everything that needs to be wrapped up before the holidays, and you have to put dates on them and close them so that they are complete. You have peace of mind and you can do the next step when we get there. Number two, do you have to let everybody on the team know what to expect when they come back from holiday? Hey guys, we're going to be off this time. This is what it's going to look like when we get back, this is how we're going to come back into the office. This is how we're going to set up a meeting. This is how we're going to align. You have to come up with a plan to lead the team. Number three, let everybody know your availability over the holidays ahead of time. Come up with very clear communication boundaries and escalation procedures. Hey guys, I'm not going to be available for four days around Christmas and on December 27th, because that's actually my birthday.And so if you do need to communicate with me with those times, just send me a message on Slack. Cause I'll check that when I'm back to work, if it's an emergency, you have my phone number. This is what constitutes an emergency. If one of you gets arrested, if you know, the world ends, if our entire business explodes without us knowing. Come up with every. Clear delineation boundary communication strategy required. And then number four is give your team permission to take some time off and focus on themselves and family, give your team permission, tell them to go away, tell them to ignore you. Be like, Hey, if I'm having a panic attack. And I don't escalate it up and it doesn't fit into the bucket. Ignore me, do not respond, do not come back. And I'm gonna challenge you to protect yourself and don't send it to them, write it down until you get back to your meeting. So the first thing is to communicate with your team.So make sure everybody's aware of all the important initiatives that have to be wrapped. Make sure you let everybody know what to expect when they come back from the holidays. Make sure everybody knows your availability over the holidays. And how to communicate what to escalate and then give your team permission to take time and focus on themselves and family. And my last step is make sure you ask your team on how to best communicate with your customers for this next step.So in the bucket of communication, you have team and then you have customers. So now when we get into customers, you need to communicate to your customers. You need to lead them as they prepare for the holiday. So set them up to win while you're away, set expectations, let them know what's coming leading up to the holiday and where you're going to be over the holiday. Let them know what to expect when you come back from the holiday. Let them know your availability as a company over the holidays and give them permission to take time off and focus on themselves and families. You have plenty of communication channels. You probably have an email list. You probably have social media, you can have ads. You have a lot of ways to do this, but you need to treat your customers like you treat your team and you need to set expectations. That's what leadership is. That's what our business is. That is what we are doing. And so help them prepare and set them up to win without you so they can have wins in their life. Associated with you and then let them know when you're coming back and what to expect when you come back so they can get excited. They can come back in, they can maintain flow with you and keep going. So bucket number one is communicate so clearly communicate with your team. And then clearly communicate with your customers, which then leads us to bucket number twoBucket number two is test, and you need to test everything that's going to be running well, your gone and I mean, test it all if you like. Oh, I made sure I turned the water off and there was a little drip and you go away for holiday. Your house has flooded, even if you're sure. Double check and triple check, just to make sure to give yourself that peace of mind, but think about all the things that we have running while we're gone, you and all of your employees get to take some time off your ads can run, set them up, go into your ad account and set some parameters. So if it breaks, it shuts itself off. If it hits a certain threshold, it's such itself off. That was a hard thing to say. If it hits a certain threshold, it shuts itself off. If it stops converting at it was converting, it shuts itself off. Your ads team knows how to do this, let them do it. What about your scheduled posts? Do you have them scheduled? Are they scheduled it in Facebook? They schedule it in creator studio for Instagram or your podcasts scheduled. Test them, make sure the links are live. Make sure they're good. Test one today and get it scheduled to nobody can see it. Have it published privately and make sure it works.Test your email automations. Do you have emails prescriptive out, check them, read them, proofread them. Check your funnels if you have them. Check your products if you have them check your integrations. If you have them, this is a perfect time to do a full the wall audit. Of all the moving parts in your business and be aware that they're oiled they're working properly, or they might need a little bit of attention to run smooth if they're ignored for a couple of days, because they're doing their job, check your zaps. If you have integrations, like when somebody buys this, it goes here and it goes here, create some test emails and go through all of them, go through the entire business with you and your team. And ask them all, Hey, we're going to be off. What would we need to check to make sure that all of us can not show up, not log in, not look at anything for five days and make a list and then go check and check and check and design it to run. As it's supposed to do to allow you to do that. The reasons technology and automations are so powerful is because they are designed to replace us. They are not designed for us to micromanage every day. And then take all of our time doing it.So utilize them to their capacity. These things work every single day. And when you are aware of them and you pay attention to them, you oil them correctly, they work. So make sure everything is functioning properly in case nothing is checked by a human for the next week and then utilize those same automations with parameters you have things like in Zapier, if one of your zaps doesn't work, it sends you an email. You have these safety nets in place to do this, but it's time to look at the business and time to look at the flow. As an easy way to create space. How beautiful is it that we can have our ads running during the holidays wishing our customers a Merry Christmas, a happy new year, a happy Valentine's day, a happy Thanksgiving. Well also generating and selling our products, which is going into our store, which is automating and sending them to our three PL and then shipping the product out, which is then triggering the emails that we pre wrote for those sequences are those broadcasts are going out that we wrote. But if you take a little bit of time to plan and you do it correctly, You get peace of mind when you are out or enjoying the reason you're building this business and you get to come back to everything working, and then you assess and you move on. No reason to fight fires, no reason to do anything. So test everything and please test everything leaves no stone unturned. Peace of mind is a gift. So test everything.So step number one is communicate clearly communicate with your team and communicate with your customers. Step number two is to test and to test everything you test, have your team test put up out of office responses. Test them. Put up auto replies on the iPhone. One of my favorite things is I do this little hack, but if you use do not disturb mode on the iPhone, it's technically designed for when you're driving, but I don't use it when I'm driving. You can change the message. So I'll turn on, quote, unquote, the driving motor do not disturb mode and I'll have my message say I'm out of the office for four days. If you need anything, send it to my inbox so I can get it when I get back at my convenience. Okay. So test everything. Which leads us to bucket number three.Bucket number three is clean, clean, clean, clean, tidy up your workspace. There are three places that you can clean. You can clean physically. You can clean digitally and you can clean mentally. Start physically clean up your desk, clean up your office, have all of your employees clean up. The best thing to come back to is a clean space free of clutter. Ready to see, ready to go and ready to get to work with no distractions. So use this as an opportunity, clean up the office right before you leave, maybe decorate a new thing.Maybe remove something to create space, maybe get rid of that thing that's been say, sitting there that you've been putting off. When you come back, it's already handled.Clean up your digital space. Empty your inbox, clean up your desktop, clean up your Dropbox. Get rid of all these extra files. Get rid of all this clutter. Have you and your employees do the whole thing, make a competition out of it. Before you guys go out of the office, get on a zoom party and have a competition with everybody's doing it. Like who can clean their desktop, the fastest, you know, who can clean their physical space. Give your team a competition who decorated their desks the best for when they come back, but clean your physical space. Clean your digital space and then clean your mental space. When you leave that office, whether it's your virtual office, your digital office, your laptop, wherever it is, I want you to leave everything there. So in the mental space process, whatever you have to process, do some breath, work, write some things down. And have a notebook, have a physical medium and write out everything that's open in your brain and don't leave until everything that's opening your brain has been documented. So your brain is on paper. You know what you have when you come back and then you can go be fully present. And bask in the results that you've created in your life and in your business.And it doesn't matter where you are. Give yourself time to be present. Give yourself time to charge the batteries, give yourself time to enjoy the gift of presence so that you can refill your gas tank and come back to rock and roll and win the Olympics. It feels amazing when you come back to a clean and organized space, it feels amazing when you come back to working with people that are all in the same thing.And so the three containers that you have to use to set your business and life up to win for any holiday and coming back is communication, testing and cleaning. And when you come back, I'm going to highly recommend when you come back, you don't jump into the work set expectations so that when you come back, you guys have a meeting and a kickoff meeting, a resync meeting, come get plugged back in, come get back aware of what's there. Do an audit of all the things that you guys have going on and come up with a plan and get started with the new marching orders and a crystal clear direction in that clean space. Well, everything was running to focus on all of your initiatives.And so in order to be congruent with what I just talked about, I need to tell you what our plans are. As I take a sip of my coffee. So for us, we are going to be publishing podcasts on the normal days, which means we are actually dropping a podcast on Christmas day. And we are dropping a podcast on new year's and both of them are going to be special episodes. I'm still working on them, but they're going to be special episodes. So if you want to, and it's a part of your relaxation, listen to the podcast. If you don't wait until you get back and listen to it, but we will be publishing our podcasts as regularly scheduled. So Christmas day, there will be a podcast and new years, there will be a podcast.We are still running ads. We still have our ads running for amazing eternal flame method. Email marketing masterclass. We have the on demand training. The ads will still be running in case people are wanting to consume it or wanting to work over the holidays, or maybe they only take a day off. All of our ads will still be running and everybody, yourself included can still come into the eternal flame method, which is our email marketing masterclass training. Or you just want to jump in and join. And so that you can go to www.lightmyeternalflame.com to join. Or you can go to the www.Eternalflamemethod.com to watch the training. We're still as always accepting people into our mastermind as always meaning it's open enrollment right now. And so if you want to join our mastermind, if you want to be a part of our family, if you want to join all these skyrocket results, you see people posting and they're tagging me and the team and shoot us an email. My personal email is GeorgeB, so georgeb@georgebryant.com to set up a 15 minute discovery call. So. No form, no nothing. Shoot us an email with a subject line, mastermind my team or spot on, and we'll set up a call to see how we can best support you moving into the new year after these holidays to set your focus and whatever we can do to support you.And we will not be working on Christmas day and on new year's day. And I probably won't be working for quite a few days around those because it's my birthday and we're moving 18 hours away and driving with three horses, two cars, three snakes, and a whole lot of stuff over 18 hours. And so, yeah. I am going to be working on my family and in my life, or the team is working, but we will not be working on Christmas day or on new year's day.And when we come back from the holiday, we are going to be kicking off the new year with a entirely new level of focus and intentionality to absolutely change the game when it comes to ethically building and scaling businesses, whether it's your customer journey, whether it's your email, whether it's your social, we are here in your corner to help you win gold. And the level of focus that we have that we have been working on for the last couple of months, the plan. Everything coming out is an absolute new level that I don't think anybody's experienced from us before. And I am excited about it. And we're going to be posting about all of it in our Facebook group, which is the relationships beat, algorithms Facebook group, which most of you are in. And if you are not go jump in just search relationships beats algorithms on Facebook, or go to mindofgeorgi.com and it links over. That's what we have coming up. That's what we are doing. So you will still be able to hear podcasts. If you shoot us an email. We might take a couple of days to get back. Cause we're not responding on Christmas or new year's day and I'm not responding on my birthdays that's a family day. We are doing all of what we teach our ads. We'll still be running. Our content will still be posted because it's all automated and it's all posted. Feel free to engage. We might engage cause that's fun for me. But most importantly, I want you to set yourself up to win. I want you to set your team up to win. I want you to set your family up to win, and I want you to have a plan. I want you to clearly communicate. I want you to clearly test, and then I want you to clean and I want you to have all of those things. So when you come back, it's time to win your race, stay focused, run your best race and keep going.So that's today's episode, that's the winning Wednesday. That is the three ways to prepare your business for the upcoming holiday, what we're doing. And I will be sure to document this road trip because I have a feeling a lot of humor is going to arise from driving cross country, Northern up to Northern Montana in the middle of the winter. With two cars, three kids, three snakes. And I think we're bringing the horses and if not, we're using the horse trailer to move our stuff. And so this'll be fun because we're going to live in Airbnbs. We're going and taking the family on an adventure. One of the reasons I'm cleaning, all of my stuff is I want to be able to explore life and adventure with my kids and prove the story of me. Not having a home and struggling with homelessness and a lot of other things. And so I'm excited about this adventure. I'll make sure that I'm documenting it all so you can have your laugh, you can see it all, but most importantly, I want you to plan so you can have the best holiday ever. I'll see you guys in the podcast and Christmas, I'll see you guys in the podcast on new year's day. And I'll also see you guys in all the podcasts after this, but since we talked about planning for the holidays, that's what we're gonna talk about.So go create a plan. Communicate well. Test your automations, test everything in your business and then clean your space so you can rock and roll no matter what day of the week it is. I hope it's absolutely beautiful. You and remember throughout your day, as much as possible, whenever you need it, take a minute to just sit back, take a deep breath and appreciate everything that's around you. Breath is the gift of life. I don't practice it enough, so I'm going to practice it right now

The world of games and tech is hard to navigate. Here are a few helpful tips to help you as you make that list and check it twice for your kids this year! https://www.commonsensemedia.com https://www.pluggedin.com Bark Blog Article: CLICK HERE Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Get tips and tools for your own wellness using the Align Your Life Wellness channel on the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @alignyourlife on the app. You can also get more info at https:.//www.dollydenson.com For a FREE DIGITAL RESOURCE GUIDE download CLICK HERE or go to https://www.dollydenson.com/digitalresources   For more info on the Tick Talk Watch: CLICK HERE. Use code BETHATMOM for $10 off!! Grab the Pinwheel phone for your kid's first phone, and avoid the addiction and battle created by giving a smartphone too soon: Click here or go to https://www.pinwheel.com/?via=dolly and use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!  More info on the Gabb Wireless phone: CLICK HERE or use code BETHATMOM for a discount at https://www.gabbwireless.com Add a BARK subscription to your Pinwheel phone or smart phone for added security. Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off for life! https://www.bark.us BARK HOME: CLICK here!! Covenant Eyes 30 day free trial CLICK HERE!! Full Transcription: Speaker 1 (00:00): So Christmas is upon us only a couple of weeks away. And with that come shopping and getting our kids new things and so prevalent in our world right now is all the digital stuff. So if you are getting your kiddos, some new form of tech or a new game, this episode is for you. Stay tuned, Speaker 2 (00:21): Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable, real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is The Be That Mom Movement with your host, Dolly Denson. Alrighty, here we are for now Speaker 1 (00:47): Another episode, and today we are going to talk about how, you know, whether or not that game or that tech that you were getting, your kiddo is safe. What are the ins and outs? What things do you need to know? You don't have a lot of time to spend on it. Your kid is asking for this specific game, what do you do? Where do you go? That is what we're going to talk about today. But before we get to that, I have to just take a moment to mention something that I am continually just amazed with as I learn more about it. And that is the pinwheel phone. It is a dumb smartphone that is designed with the use of therapists and a team of people that will look at all of the apps and all of the features and are very, very much focused on making sure the kids stay safe and that the phone is used as a tool. Speaker 1 (01:34): And it is an intro to tack and how to use it without being addicted to it, without it controlling you or the kid. So this is something that I highly highly recommend. You check out. If you have a kid that you're considering getting a phone for Christmas, depending on how their age, what age they are, this is such an amazing option for you. Check out the link in my show notes. And there is a discount code that you can grab to get your pinwheel phone today. You cannot go wrong with this phone. They are continually updating it and they take recommendations from parents. They consider all suggestions for apps, and it's basically a phone that can grow with your child that has you in the driver's seat of which apps they can access and what times of day they can access and how they use that phone. Speaker 1 (02:22): You can't go wrong with it. Definitely check it out, check out the link in my show notes and grab the discount code. All right. So now let's get on with the topic today. This is something that I wish I would have had. I think I see that like a thousand times in this podcast so far in all of my episodes, but there's so much that I wish I would have had back when I was trying to navigate this without any sort of guidance and not knowing what was important to focus on what was okay to kind of let slide and not worry about too much. Like I just had no clue. I didn't know where to turn. There's just so much that's out there now to help us. And I just want to make sure that you're connected with these things because they certainly are that I wish I would have had a few years ago. Speaker 1 (03:02): Like I seriously need a time capsule. I need to grab all of this stuff. I need to go back in time and change how I did things like Holy cow, it has to be one of the biggest regrets I have as a mom, but it is what it is. We live in this age. We are the first generation of parents to have to navigate this. And so that's why I'm here. And if I wouldn't have gone through all those things, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you today. And that absolutely is something that lights up my heart. And it's something that I absolutely want to help you with. And I hope that you find this so-so helpful as you try to navigate this with your kiddo to, so that we together can help this generation of kids grow up to be strong and confident and be in control of their lives and know where they're going and not allowing tech or some, you know, danger on the other end of the internet to trying to get to our kids. Speaker 1 (03:52): So it is what it is. That's the moral of the story today. So I want to just talk about a couple of tools that are out there that you may not be aware of that can help you. If you like in the scenario of you having a boy that has a gaming console or wants to play certain games. So they say, I want this game, like it's the popular thing. Their friends are playing it. You know, it's what they want. Well now there are different things that you can use to where you can go. And specifically look at that game. If you're looking at getting them tech, if you're getting a new gaming console, if you're getting a phone, if you're getting, you know, like a Roku device, anything like that, there are things out there that can help you navigate these things now to where you don't have to go in them blind. Speaker 1 (04:33): You don't have to go with the mindset of, we'll just worry about it. And if there's something to worry about, and the reason that I'm bringing this up is because I was in a I'm in a group on social media that is like parents of, you know, trying to navigate tech and a person posted and said, I don't know about you. I've thought about leaving this group because I just don't parent like the rest of y'all do. I mean, y'all put up all these walls and it just makes it to where there's, there's just more walls for the kids to climb. Like, why aren't you trusting your kid first? And why aren't you helping guide them all of that stuff. And it's so frustrating for me to read those things, but I completely understand because I was that mom too, that was like, seriously, I'm just going to kind of, you know, let my kid will let me know if there's something to be concerned about. Speaker 1 (05:21): But the truth is that what we are dealing with today is nothing like anything we had as kids. And it absolutely is not something that they can navigate. The influence is enormous from all kinds of different directions. It's not something that they can navigate on their own. There are so many different facets to this. If you've listened to any of my earlier episodes, you know, there's just so much that goes into this. So it's better in my experience to start from a place of being very proactive in learning about all of the little things. And then as you see that they can learn to navigate this and as can build a trust for them to come to you, if there is a concern, then you can let those, you know what, whatever you want to call it, like the draw string out, you can let the, I don't want to say leash, but you know, you can let that out a little bit more as they get older and they gain kind of knowledge on how to navigate it, as well as knowing when to cut them off from screens and stuff like that. Speaker 1 (06:18): So while I get it, if you never experienced it, I do recommend that you come from a place of being very active in this space when it comes to giving them any new game, any new type of console access to the internet in a new way, just know that they don't know how to navigate this. It doesn't matter who they are, where they grew up. If they went to church, if they ate at the dinner table, if they have a TV in their room or they don't have a TV in their room, all of the different things out there that you hear about, you know, well, I've done this, this and this, so my kid's gonna know how to do it. They just don't, you know,it's not anything against your kids specifically. It's not a personal attack on anyone. Some kids do do better with it, but how do you know which ones I have yet to figure out how that could be predicted? Speaker 1 (07:05): So it's better to just come from that place of, you know, being concerned from the get go, rather than having them prove you wrong. And then things that are said and done and things that they see can't be undone. Like the damage is done. You can't go back. Right. So I know that's probably why you're here listening to this podcast. And you're like, Dolly, you're seriously preaching to the choir here. Like I'm not listening to your podcast because I think that I need to just let them do this. Okay. So I get that. I know, but if you're one of the ones that's on the fence about any of that stuff, just know that I have been there. I understand, but I recommend that you follow my tips, follow some of these tools that I'm going to share with you today. And, you know, just have a keen and cautious eye for what is out there and whether or not it is in the best interest of your kid. Speaker 1 (07:52): Like I said, in one of the last episodes, all the stuff that is going on in the world right now, it's pretty obvious that social media and all of the tech companies do not have our kids' best interest in mind. We are the parents and we have their best interests in mind. And so that means that we are the detective when it comes to putting any of this into the realm of our kids, being able to utilize it. Okay. So that's my soap box and I'm sticking to it. So I want to talk about a couple of tools that I think you might find helpful. If you should have some new game or something new that you are introducing to your kid, that they want for Christmas. The number one is a website called common sense media. I have no association with any of these I'm sharing with you today. Speaker 1 (08:37): These three things that I want to share with you, I just found, I was looking through the website and looking at how it could help and wishing, like I said, that I had had it when my son was younger and he was wanting to play different games. But common sense, media has multiple different ways that you can look at the digital things, the games, all of the things that you may be buying for your kid, it gives you recommendations. It gives you the, the ratings on games and gives you details about each one. So you can decide for yourself whether or not it's something that you want your kid to have. The second thing is a website called plugged in it's P L U G G E D I N. Dot com and plugged in.com basically has a place for you to look up movies, to look up television shows, music, games, books, and YouTube channels. Speaker 1 (09:27): So you can have an informed decision about which things you allow. So it's very much like common sense media and common sense media. Someone had said recently that now there's a charge. Like if you want information, maybe you only have a certain number of times that you can search for things in a month. And then you pay a small fee, but it's like $3 a month or something like that. But I personally, when I was looking at their website, have not seen that pop up, or it requires me to pay. So maybe it is after you do a couple of searches that it will require you to pay, but they have so much on their website that I think that it would be a worthwhile investment for you to help, you know, have in your back pocket as a tool when you're going, you know, Christmas shopping and different things like that. Speaker 1 (10:11): So plugged in, it appears to be free. It looks like it has a donation button on it, but there you can enter in the games and the different things and look at what the concerns might be in whether or not you want your kid to use those. And then the third thing is a resource that bark put out, and this is really cool. It's similar to the Barco MADEC that I have mentioned in some of the other episodes, but this thing with bark actually has it's a blog post that they did, and it's actually not super recent, but I think it's kind of highlighting what the Barco MADEC does go to Barco madec.com, but it has all the different devices and web browsers, cable providers, email providers. So it's basically like the Barco MADEC and then video games, gaming systems, all of those things, you can go and specifically pick the things that you're looking for, and it will give you the parental controls to help set those things up. Speaker 1 (11:06): So you can help to guide your kiddo and to not let some person out there contact your kid that you don't want to. So those three things are things I recommend you utilize as you are making your shopping list and deciding what you're going to buy for your kid. And then always, always, always take a look at it. Once you do have your, you know, like your kid opens their presents for Christmas, certainly be active in them, setting it up and communicating with them about what the game's about. Look for the parental controls and all of those things to get them set up as they get started. But probably the most important thing is to keep an open line of communication with them in case it does have dangers of talking to other people, you know, like having the conversation with them about what they need to look for and things that they need to tell you about that seem inappropriate or that make them uncomfortable and that they can always come to you for any of those concerns. Speaker 1 (11:59): Okay. So I hope you found that helpful, common sense media plugged in.com and then Bart resource list and Barco madec.com. Those things can all help you to determine whether or not that tech or that game is safe for your kiddo or what things you need to do to help make it safer. Okay. So that is it for today's episode. Thanks so much for joining me. Thanks so much for your support. I have made a channel for the, be that mom movement on telegram. You can find the link in the show notes, if you would like to join in on that. I just send out updates on different things. You can also follow me on Instagram and I have a Facebook community that you can join if you would like to chat with other moms. So please connect with me and I will Speaker 2 (12:43): Chat with you next time. Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time. 

I freestyled the whole of this episode today. So Christmas came early! I go in to so many things that it was too long for the title! I talk about keeping it real and being yourself. My thoughts on this podcast. Spiderman 3 update on Doc Oc. My thoughts on Blackpool 2020, my vlog channel and a video I released in the shop last year. Also talk about what people might be up to on Christmas this year. Enjoy this packed episode!

Christmas werewolves are a thing. I mean, I don't know if they're REAL real. But people really used to believe they were a thing. So Christmas expert Benito Cereno fills us in on their history Benito's been on the show before, talking about Christmas comics and the Yule Lads. Links mentioned in the show: Benito's werewolf Christmas story, "Two Gifts" Benito's YouTube channel Lives of St. Barbara and St. Nicholas Celebrating St. Nicholas Around the World and more... Apocrypals podcast Benito's site Bone & Sickle Podcast (episode 30: Loup-Garou, Werewolves in France) Music this episode: "Werewolf Christmas" by Timur and the Dime Museum "Werewolf in Christmas Past" by Max Dimartino, Lee Lacey "Meido Krampus Noche" by The Courtesan and the Cabin Boy And check out the Merry Britsmas podcast for all your British Christmas needs! If you're feeling generous, check out my Patreon page here where you can get all kinds of bonuses throughout the year.  

So Christmas is well and truly over. Scrooge Gem has taken down the decorations and has lost her Christmas Spirit.  It's been an interesting couple of weeks since our last podcast. We have had broken arms, broken noses, lots of food and drink and fun.  Mase and Gem run through the highs and lows of the Christmas season, the Twins visiting Santa via the Polar Express, preperation for Santa's visit and the big day itself.  Please join us for our HoHoHum journey through Christmas and please do subscribe and contact us with your feedback, ideas and suggestions for future podcasts.  Thank you for listening  

Well I hope everyone had a nice Christmas or whatever you do or don’t celebrate. As an aside, we got a nice e card from Rachel, thanks!So Christmas itself was excellent. Christmas Eve dinner was great. Jon really loved the stuff he got from everyone, but especially the stuff that Doug Slater sent him. Really out, you made his day. The letter was really nice too.Then Maddie got sick, which sorta sucks.Isabelle’s sister has a toy store, so this is her busy time.We’re both sorta out of it, it’s that time of year.I got Isabelle a scroll saw for Christmas because I’m awesome.

Well I hope everyone had a nice Christmas or whatever you do or don’t celebrate. As an aside, we got a nice e card from Rachel, thanks! So Christmas itself was excellent. Christmas Eve dinner was great. Jon really loved the stuff he got from everyone, but especially the stuff that Doug Slater sent him. Really out, you made his day. The letter was really nice too. Then Maddie got sick, which sorta sucks. Isabelle’s sister has a toy store, so this is her busy time. We’re both sorta out of it, it’s that time of year. I got Isabelle a scroll saw for Christmas because I’m awesome.

The dreaded office holiday party: For many of us, for MANY reasons, this is a situation fraught with difficulties. To go or not to go. To eat or not to eat. To discuss or not to discuss our religious/holiday/personal lives and plans. As IT folks with a strong religious/moral/ethical POV, navigating this ONE (supposedly optional) yearly occurrence can be the cause of more stress than any other event. In this episode we’ll unpack the what and why, and - like the IT pros we are, offer advice on how to navigate through this seasonal obstacle course. Listen or read the transcript below. Dez: 00:00 Welcome to our podcast where we talk about the interesting, frustrating and inspiring experiences we have as people with strongly held religious views working in corporate IT. We're not here to preach or teach you our religion. We're here to explore ways we make our career as IT professionals mesh - or at least not conflict - with our religious life. This is Technically Religious. Leon: 00:24 The dreaded office holiday party. For many of us, For many reasons. This situation is fraught with difficulties. To go or not to go? To eat or not to eat? To discuss or not to discuss our religious, holiday, or personal lives and plans? As IT folks with a strong religious, moral and ethical point of view, navigating this one (supposedly optional) yearly occurrence can be the cause of more stress than any other event. In this episode, we'll unpack the what and the why, and - like the IT pros we are - offer advice on how to navigate through this seasonal obstacle course. I'm Leon Adato, and the other voices you're going to hear on this episode are my partners in podcasting crime. Josh Biggley. Josh: 01:05 Hello, hello. Leon: 01:06 And perennial guest voice. Yechiel Kalmenson. Yechiel: 01:09 Always a pleasure. Leon: 01:10 All right. As has become our habit, let's go ahead and do some shameless self promotion. Um, Yechiel as, as still the nominal guest, you know, you've been on this, I think this is your fourth episode, but we'll still call you a guest. We'll treat you with respect like a guest. Go ahead and start off and tell us about yourself. Yechiel: 01:28 All right. Uh, so I'm Yechiel Kalmenson. I'm a software engineer at Pivotal though by the time this episode drops, we'll probably be VMWare already, um, you can find me on Twitter @YechielK, my blog is RabbiOnRails.IO and I identify as an Orthodox Jew. Josh: 01:43 Great. Josh, how about you? All right. I'm Josh Biggley. I'm a tech op strategy consultant with New Relic. You can find me on the Twitters at, @Jbiggley. I have no blog or really no presence on, on any sort of a non social media platform. I am also not on Facebook, so I'll look for me. I'm, you can find me. I'm hanging out with the post-Mormons and with the ex-Mormons nowadays and that's my religious identification. Leon: 02:09 All right. And I'll finish off this section. I'm Leon Adato. I'm a Head Geek for SolarWinds. You can find me on the Twitters @LeonAdato. I pontificate about things technical and religious at http://wwwadatosystems.com. And I also identify as an Orthodox Jew. So before we dig into, uh, the things that we are talking about, I wanna clarify what we're not talking about because there are things that everyone kind of dreads about the office holiday party, um, that are not gonna be part of this conversation. And you know what I mean is, for example, this mentality of 'what happens at the office party stays at the office party', you know, you know, party it up. We're just gonna forget about it tomorrow. We're not going to talk about it. Like, I think a lot of us dread that, but that's not specific to us. What are some other things that are just sort of common to any office party or anybody's dread of that? Yechiel: 02:59 Well, for me, as an introvert, parties in general are a drag. Um, I can't stand them. If I can spend the night at home, why would I spend it with a bunch of people I don't want to spend time with anyway? So, but that's all introverts are like me, so.... Leon: 03:14 Right. Okay. So yeah, definitely if you are of the quiet, quieter type ramping up for this is um, a challenge. Okay. What else? Josh: 03:22 I mean, I really struggle with the, 'you have to show up' mentality for really for any corporate event. If I don't want to be there or I choose not to be there because I have other priorities, don't make me attend. So Christmas parties, holiday parties, you know, new year's parties, just if I want to be there, I'll be there. If not, don't take offense that I don't, that I don't want to be there. I mean, I didn't marry you. I'm married, my wife. Leon: 03:50 And, and I think closely related to that is that that this time of year, you know, the holidays, Christmas, whatever, you know, new year's is a challenge for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. It stirs up a lot of emotions and not all of them are positive. And I think that an office holiday party where you feel like there's an expectation to put on a particular kind of attitude or face is also challenging for a lot of folks. Um, and also I think that, uh, having to constantly explain yourself about why not drinking or not eating or not whatever, again, this time of year is challenging for a lot of folks on, on that physical level of how they interact with, you know, food and drink and things like that. And that can also create a lot of stress. But that's not what we're focusing on here. We're looking at the things that are specific to having a strong religious, ethical or moral point of view. Um, so I wanna I wanna dovetail into that and I want to say that those strong emotions that I just mentioned. You know, that this time of year can have very strong positive emotions for people about family, about memories, about their religion, and you layer onto that the expectations of a party because it's being hosted, it's being organized, it's being, it's meant to be "bigger and better than last years or ever before!" And all that stuff that creates a scenario where people can take offense to things in a lot of different ways. And those of us who have religious boundaries can unexpectedly encounter those, you know, those offense triggers in ways that don't happen on a normal day. So again, let's, let's talk about what are those things, what are things that we've either tripped over, we know exist about the holiday party for us. Yechiel: 05:44 So food is obviously a big one. Um, and you know, there's a different kosher, halal, whether you are a vegetarian, whatever you are. Um, and I think it's even worse when, when someone will, will go through the effort to try to make you feel comfortable and they'll order or something which they think is acceptable to you. So they'll Google and find the nearest kosher restaurant. But just because the restaurant identifies as kosher online doesn't mean it's actually kosher. And then it's not just, you know, if they didn't order anything and I didn't eat nobody would notice. But here "I ordered this, especially for you here, you know, have some, it's just for you." And then I have to explain that kosher is not always kosher. Leon: 06:25 Right? The one I hear a lot is, but "it said it was a kosher deli." I know kosher was in the name. Kosher style is a thing. Yechiel: 06:33 It's bagels and lox. How much more kosher can you get than that? Josh: 06:36 Right? Well, yeah, I was going to say that, um, you know, growing up Mormon, the awkward part was, were really, it was the alcohol thing. Festivities and alcohol go hand in hand together. Um, so I remember, especially as a teenager going to parties and people being like, Oh look, I bought you a near beer. Or there's this great debate in the Mormon community, Leon: 07:03 What are they think... Do they hate you? Josh: 07:08 Uh, may, maybe. Uh, but then there's this whole, this whole debate going on in the Mormon community around a sparkling Apple cider, uh, for your new year's Eve celebrations. Like, do you want to have champagne or do you just want to look like you're having champagne? And then if you're looking like you're having a champagne, are you giving the very appearance of evil? And I'm like, Oh my goodness, it's just so complex. Uh, and, and then you have, that's within your own family. You take those same conversations and have them at an office party, aaarrrrggghhhh. So much harder. Leon: 07:46 The other thing that, that we're hitting on is also there's a level of trust or mistrust and there's sort of, you know, as a religious person, there's a healthy level of skepticism I have to have about the food around me and about the people presenting it. Not because I think that they are inherently untrustworthy, but they are inherently not, not necessarily knowledgeable. So for example, a few episodes ago we talked about at conventions and, um, Al Rasheed talked about how, you know, people will say, "Oh yeah, there's, there's nothing in here. There's no, you know, there's no wine." And then you find out that it was sauteed in wine. But because the wine was burned off, that person felt that there was no alcohol in it. And so it was fine. And so there's no way to ask in a way that isn't either an FBI interrogation or really offensively skeptical to find out about, uh, even the vegetables. Like, okay, so did you cut these with a completely new knife or were you cutting bacon right before you cut, you know, the celery, because that would be a prob.... Like I can't, I can't trust that and nor can I ask enough questions to get to the heart of it kind of thing. Josh: 08:57 Who does that? That's just unsanitary. Yechiel: 08:59 But the vegetables are always on a cheese platter, so that pretty much cuts it. Leon: 09:04 Right. That's a, that's a, yeah, there's a problem right there. Um, I was at a, uh, office...] At an office party at a manager's house and they were doing some sort of game, icebreaker, whatever. And the prize that they would hand out is this, you know, little holiday chocolates and, they handed it, to me, and you know, I was just being a good sport and I, you know, took, and I said, "Oh wow." You know, I'm looking for the hechsher. I'm looking for the symbol that would tell me if it was kosher. And I actually said, "...which would be ironic since it's, you know, in the shape of a Santa Claus." If it was. There are, by the way, chocolate that is in the shape of a Santa Claus that is completely kosher. It's fine. So I was just sort of amused by it, but immediately the wife of the manager was so earnest, she says, "Oh, well take this one isn't the shape of a snowman. That must be kosher!" Like that. That's not how that works. But now I'm in a position where I have to, you can't laugh at the boss's wife. I know that. But she said something that was kind of ignorant and now I either have to laugh along with it, just go along with it. Or you know, there's, there's almost no winning in that one. Josh: 10:10 I mean, from on the other side of that, as, as someone who for many years has hosted a Christmas party in my home. Um, last year we didn't host one. And this year there's, we've had people ask, "Hey, are you having, you know, your Christmas get together?" Cause that's a, that's a big deal, right? It's an open house. We invite all our friends and uh, you know, people from our, our former congregation, uh, and our neighbors. And so this year we're, we're not, uh, we've decided we're not, we're going to have a few select people over small gathering. But as someone who hosts, you also have to realize that you're going to do things that are awkward at whatever gathering you have. Um, and you just have to learn to not take offense. I don't know. Ah, th and this is why office parties are so different than parties in someone's home with people you don't work with because your friends, You can, you can say things like, "Hey, Josh, um, no, a snowman isn't kosher. And let me explain why..." And I'm going to be, I'm going to be paying rapt attention. "Oh really? Oh, I get it. Oh, that's cool." Whereas your boss's wife may not be so interested in getting the, you know, the religious lecture or lesson or however they interpret it. Leon: 11:32 There's other things that I think aren't necessarily on people's radar. Like, you know, music is another one. You know the number of times where people like, Oh, I just love this. Don't you just love this song? It's like, "Swear to God, I've never heard this song. Never. You know, and no, I don't want to sing along to it." And you know, even trying to, so in Judaism there's a thing about men not supposed to listen to the live voices of a woman singing in the same room kind of thing. Like there's just, you know, it's one of those things that's considered, you know, for modesty and for, you know, just keeping things a little bit separate. But how are you gonna explain that again to the boss's wife? Like, please don't sing the song that you love that I've never heard. Yechiel: 12:16 Any event that includes karaoke is an automatic "Nope." for me. Leon: 12:21 There we go. Okay. Josh: 12:22 Stay out of the Philippines, Yechiel. Stay out of the Philippines. Yeah, they love karaoke. Uh, so I guess that means that, uh, me singing "Dominic, the Italian Christmas Donkey" is completely out. Leon: 12:35 Okay. That song is horrible on so many levels that, uh, I just, yeah, don't ever that, that one's not okay. Um, for reasons that are not religious or it's just, it's just bad. It's just offensive. So last... One of our previous episodes recently, um, Cory Adler was talking about, uh, a coworker who started at the company and they were sort of delighted... He was... the coworker was Muslim. Corey is also Orthodox Jewish and they were so delighted to find all the similarities. And one of the similarities they hit upon was at the Christmas party. This coworker brought his wife who was wearing a hijab and you know, the full Pakistani clothing and everything and everybody wanted to say hi and shake her hand and give her a hug and all these things. And she was just sort of shrinking through the evening. And Cory just came up and said hi to his coworker and just said hi to his wife. And afterward, his coworker said, "It was so nice to have you there. You were the only one who got it. You're the only one who knew." And, but you know, that story aside again, you know, these office parties where you're meeting people's significant others and there's an expectation, and people are feeling festive and feeling friendly and perhaps feeling drunk and whatever. And you're trying to manage boundaries. You know, for a whole lot of reasons. It makes the party a challenge. Josh: 14:03 Can we talk about the, the, the Mormon, um, idea. And this is not just a holiday thing, but it's, you know, so praying over meals is a thing. Uh, in, I think, most religions, um, but pre Mormons have this, this, uh, funny thing of, um, praying that food will, um, give us strength and nourishment regardless if you're praying over, um, you know, a, a nice, uh, meal of, you know, quinoa and vegetables or if it happens to be, you know, jelly donuts and root beer, it's always, you know, praying for, uh, strength and nourishment from this food. So for some people, whether you're not religious out and just like prayers or you know, don't like, uh, any sort of grace being said or if you are like me and you know, your, your ex-Mormon and it, it just makes you laugh when people are praying for this food to somehow be magically transformed to be nourishing for your body. It's donuts. The only thing it's good for is eating and enjoying. Leon: 15:19 (laughing hysterically) I'm, I'm laughing because my, my daughter who runs a bakery out of my house is preparing to make something on the order of like 800 donuts in the next couple of weeks. And so the idea that my house will be filled with basically non, Yechiel: 15:34 it'll definitely nourish your gut, that's for sure. Leon: 15:36 It's gonna. It's, yeah. Josh: 15:38 You just tell her to just pray over them that they will be for strength and nourishment and then they, there'll be no calories left in them. Leon: 15:46 Yeah. Yeah. The, the mythical and the mystical, uh, no calorie donut. Yeah, I don't think so. Josh: 15:54 Prayers are just weird. Just awkward. I mean, and then the reciprocal is also true. If you go to a meal and you have a religious belief where you want to pray over your food, but nobody else is what do you do? Leon: 16:08 And there's a piece of that which is, and I think we'll get into it more, but Christmas is a time when a lot of Christians feel like this is when their Christianity should be the most on display. Like this is the time when they can really turn it, you know, turn it up to 11. And so getting everyone involved in a, in a prayer, a prayer which invokes imagery or names or concepts which are not only foreign to other religious cultures, but in some cases antithetical to other cultures. You know, so now do, do I stand quietly in the corner? Do I leave the room? Do I... No matter what I do, anything short of participating could be seen as offensive because this person has so much invested in this moment. Josh: 16:57 Not that history has, uh, will support me on this. But I feel like the easiest way to do this is don't be so invested in your religious beliefs that you, that you're going to take offense when no offense is intended. Um, and I, that goes both ways. I grew up, my, my very best friend when I was a young, quite young, up until about fifth grade, and when I moved away, uh, he was, um, uh, Jehovah's witness and you know, and I, this was back at least in Canada where you sang the national anthem and you said the Lord's prayer every Sunday morning in school, right? Uh, so they, they look, we're all adults here. If you need, if you want to step out because something is happening that you don't want to partake in, step out. Just like if I show up at a holiday party and someone starts doing something that I find offensive, whether it's you've, you've, uh, you know, you've drunk too much and now you are a drunk, um, or you know, uh, someone is doing something that I find inappropriate, I am going to leave. That's I, and if I can come back, I will. But if not, I'm not going to come back and you're just going to have to deal with that because you made your choices. I make mine. I mean, we're all adults like that. Leon: 18:18 Yeah. And, and the, the point I think of, of this particular conversation is navigating the heightened expectations and emotions around the holidays and around, you know, the, the party. I think that these moments, these particular moments become imbued with a heightened sense that, you know, isn't there for a lot of other things or can be imbued with a heightened sense. And I think that's the challenge. Yechiel: 18:45 And then you have the corollary to that where, um, where people will try to be inclusive and they'll be like, "Oh, okay. So, um, Yechiel, why didn't you lead us with a Jewish prayer?" And I'm like, "no, I, that's not what I want to do right now. I do not want to lead this room full of people on a Jewish prayer. I'll say, my Jewish prayer myself, thank you very much." Leon: 19:08 Right? Right. Or, or my personal favorite. "Hey, can you bring them, can you bring, you know, that candelabra thing, can you bring a menorah? And, and light it at our party. And that way you'll have something here too." It's like, um, "Hanukkah was three weeks ago. Chad," You know, uh, no, we're not doing it. But again, there's, I'm not saying you can't say no. Josh, to your point no is a perfectly fine answer. You know, Hanukkah was three weeks ago is also perfectly fine answer. The challenge is navigating other people's expectations and again, I think, uh, the holidays just sort of amp things up. Josh: 19:49 I, I definitely agree. I th I hope that... No, before we end this, we definitely have to come, we have to come up with that list of things that we need to do, like the ground rules we need to set. Right. And one of them definitely needs to be, "I am not going to take a fence unless you intend to offend me." Leon: 20:07 Right? If you say, "Yeah, I meant for you to be offended, then then all bets are off, right? Josh: 20:12 Yeah. All bets are off. Yechiel: 20:12 And when in doubt, just ask, you know, "Did you mean to offend me? New Speaker: 20:15 Yeah. That's, you know, I'm having a hard time with it, right? Oh, there's all sorts of mature, you know, careful communication that we could do every day in the office, in fact, that would be very helpful. Um, and this is just another opportunity to practice that, but, well, okay, we'll get to that because as good IT professionals, we are into solving things. We'll do it. The last piece, and I'm just gonna echo something. So Doug Johnson - who's another frequent voice that we hear on Technically Religious - and I have known each other for probably close to 30 years now. And Doug has been on this program saying as an evangelical Christian how much he hates Christmas. He is, he is like the worst representative of Christmas. And he, and a lot of it boils down to everything we've been talking about, but the flip side of it. Christmas isn't Christmasy enough for him. Meaning what the holiday party, what the office holiday party is, this watered down, commercialized hallmark version. And he wants nothing to do with it. He really, you know, his point, and he said this before, is, is "You want to have Christmas? Let's talk Jesus. Like let's just do that!" That's, you know, let's get rid of the guy in the red suit. Let's forget about all that stuff. He really wants to have the, the adult version of the holiday, which also makes people very uncomfortable. And so he finds himself not invited to Christmas parties frequently as well. Josh: 21:38 I think that this ties very nicely into, um, an idea that we wanted to talk around that this, uh, my religion, uh, on your holiday or you know, your holiday on my religion. Leon: 21:49 Yeah. Josh: 21:50 So up until a few years ago, I was one of those people where if you said "Happy holidays" to me, I would say "Merry Christmas" back because you know, it's Christmas time and you got to put the Christ in Christmas. Right? And my wife and I were talking about this just the other day. Yesterday, I think. And we have decided that regardless of what holiday, someone wishes us, our response is going to be, "Thank you. You too." I mean, Holy crap, right? It's like mind blowing! Yechiel: 22:27 Radical. Leon: 22:29 What a crazy idea. Just saying thank you. Speaker 4: 22:33 It. Ah, and she, she said, "I posted this to Facebook, that I'm going to do this." And she's like, "I wonder how many people are going to be offended." And I thought, "Who in the world's going to be offended by saying thank you. You too."? Leon: 22:46 Okay. And, and the answer is?? Yechiel: 22:49 Well, it's this Facebook, so... : 22:50 (conversation fades out) Leon: 22:52 We know you can't listen to our podcast all day. So out of respect for your time, we've broken this particular conversation up. Come back next week and we'll continue our conversation. Roddie: 23:02 Thank you for making time for us this week. To hear more of Technically Religious visit our website at http://TechnicallyReligious.com where you can find our other episodes, leave us ideas for future discussions or connect with us on social media. Leon: 23:15 Hey, Josh, how was the last Christmas party you attended? Josh: 23:17 I passed through the seven levels of the candy cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gumdrops, and then I walked through the Lincoln tunnel! Yechiel: 23:26 Wait, is there sugar in gumdrops?

更多英语知识，请关注微信公众号:VOA英语每日一听Todd: So, Santi, now you are from Indonesia but you actually are Christian, correct?Santi: Yes.Todd: And now most people in Indonesia are Muslim.Santi: Yes, that's true.Todd: Right, so are there any other major religions in Indonesia?Santi: Oh, we have about six religions, actually: Muslims, Christians. We have two types of Christians: Catholics and Christians, and then we have Buddhists and Hindus and Confucius.Todd: So you are Christian?Santi: Yes.Todd: So do you have a ... do you celebrate Christmas especially, like Indonesian style?Santi: In my family - no - but maybe other families do.Todd: So what do you normally do for Christmas?Santi: We go to ... well, as a part of the family, we go to the church together and then we celebrate ... well, going out for dinner, and then that's all.Todd: That's it?Santi: Yes.Todd: So, it's not that big of a deal?Santi: No.Todd: No Christmas tree?Santi: No.Todd: No giving presents?Santi: No. Even for Christmas tree, my mom always tells that if you want to decorate the tree, you have to - well - clean it up later, so we just like ... yeah, maybe later on.Todd: You don't want to do it.Santi: No.Todd: Wow. OK, that's interesting. So Christmas is very basic and simple?Santi: Yes.Todd: Well, actually that's kind of nice. I think a lot of people from other Christian countries would probably prefer that Christmas was that way.Santi: Really? Well, as a child I expect a present actually from my parents but they don't give me so ... it's OK.Todd: So, were you bummed when you didn't get a present?Santi: Yes, sometimes. Well, looking for other friends that they got presents, like, a bunch of presents from their parents or their uncles but, well, I and my sister just don't so ...Todd: Well, that's OK, though. I mean I think maybe that's even better because maybe that teaches children a lesson, you know. So does that mean you never get presents or gifts or money or anything?Santi: No, but we have a special celebration for Chinese New Year because we are raised a Chinese family, so we got presents in Chinese New Year's.Todd: So, you celebrate Chinese New Year more than you do Christmas?Santi: Yes, that's true.

更多英语知识，请关注微信公众号:VOA英语每日一听Todd: So, Santi, now you are from Indonesia but you actually are Christian, correct?Santi: Yes.Todd: And now most people in Indonesia are Muslim.Santi: Yes, that's true.Todd: Right, so are there any other major religions in Indonesia?Santi: Oh, we have about six religions, actually: Muslims, Christians. We have two types of Christians: Catholics and Christians, and then we have Buddhists and Hindus and Confucius.Todd: So you are Christian?Santi: Yes.Todd: So do you have a ... do you celebrate Christmas especially, like Indonesian style?Santi: In my family - no - but maybe other families do.Todd: So what do you normally do for Christmas?Santi: We go to ... well, as a part of the family, we go to the church together and then we celebrate ... well, going out for dinner, and then that's all.Todd: That's it?Santi: Yes.Todd: So, it's not that big of a deal?Santi: No.Todd: No Christmas tree?Santi: No.Todd: No giving presents?Santi: No. Even for Christmas tree, my mom always tells that if you want to decorate the tree, you have to - well - clean it up later, so we just like ... yeah, maybe later on.Todd: You don't want to do it.Santi: No.Todd: Wow. OK, that's interesting. So Christmas is very basic and simple?Santi: Yes.Todd: Well, actually that's kind of nice. I think a lot of people from other Christian countries would probably prefer that Christmas was that way.Santi: Really? Well, as a child I expect a present actually from my parents but they don't give me so ... it's OK.Todd: So, were you bummed when you didn't get a present?Santi: Yes, sometimes. Well, looking for other friends that they got presents, like, a bunch of presents from their parents or their uncles but, well, I and my sister just don't so ...Todd: Well, that's OK, though. I mean I think maybe that's even better because maybe that teaches children a lesson, you know. So does that mean you never get presents or gifts or money or anything?Santi: No, but we have a special celebration for Chinese New Year because we are raised a Chinese family, so we got presents in Chinese New Year's.Todd: So, you celebrate Chinese New Year more than you do Christmas?Santi: Yes, that's true.

So Christmas has come and gone. It was pretty great. Now, on to New Year’s Eve! NYE is the worst holiday ever, as I’ve mentioned on this podcast and others. Looks like Backpack studio worked today. The roads are horrible. It was very warm and slushy, then it was -17. This causes bumpiness. Isabelle got me a new coat and boots so I have a new winter look. The cashier at the grocery store agrees that New Year’s Eve sucks. The LCBO and the grocery store weren’t that busy, oddly. We talked about the change from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar, because we are awesome.

So Christmas has come and gone. It was pretty great. Now, on to New Year’s Eve! NYE is the worst holiday ever, as I’ve mentioned on this podcast and others.Looks like Backpack studio worked today.The roads are horrible. It was very warm and slushy, then it was -17. This causes bumpiness.Isabelle got me a new coat and boots so I have a new winter look.The cashier at the grocery store agrees that New Year’s Eve sucks.The LCBO and the grocery store weren’t that busy, oddly.We talked about the change from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar, because we are awesome.

So Christmas came a little late. We look at the worst (in Pete's opinion) of the Home Alone series, and that's saying something. Come watch the return of Kevin McCallister, without Macaulay Culkin, ...or anything that made the original iconic

So Christmas is done, and before we join the rapidly expanding list of 2016 casualties - we bring you our favourite tracks from the last six months. Get ready for songs from The Zipheads, Faintest Idea, Pizzatramp, Wonk Unit, Scarecrow, You Want Fox, The Witchdoktors, Hands Off Gretel and Limozine.It's been a tough week, Paul's lost his keys, Tony suspects he may be allergic to wine, Paul's civilised drinks evening, Manchester Punk Festival, Tony has your Facebook comments, Pizzatramp and Wonk Unit, we talk about last week, regrouting the shower, Paul's next door but one neighbour has issues, the Basford finger punch, Finland, From the Vaults, Tony's International Gig Guide, The Bleach Boys new album, You Want Fox, New Years Eve, 2016 killer of Celebrities, Rick Parfitt, George Michael, Carrie Fisher, time for one more?, we find a suitable Izzatwat and a reminder of the stations which feature us.Song 1: The Zipheads - InsteadSong 2: Faintest Idea – Circling The Drain Song 3: Pizzatramp – Queen Of RinglandSong 4: Wonk Unit – We Are The EnglandSong 5: Scarecrow – Horror Of The Beach PartySong 6: You Want Fox – Throw Down Your WeaponsSong 7: The Witchdoktors – No Pain, No GainSong 8: Hands Off Gretel – Oh ShitSong 9: Limozine – Satan Sick Balls

A powerful tool to use in your storytelling. On today's special Christmas, hot tub edition of Marketing In Your Car, Russell and his son Dallin talk about contrast and why it makes life and business better. Here are some fun things you will hear in this episode: Why the contrast of being in 102 degree hot tub makes the freezing cold temperature outside more fun. Why we should look for contrast in all areas of life including food, relationships, and business. And what Russell's Christmas tradition involving Marshmallow Matey's is. So listen below to hear Russell and Dallin's thoughts on why contrast in your life makes it more interesting. ---Transcript--- Hey everyone, this is Russell Brunson, welcome to Marketing In Your Hot Tub. It is actually Christmas night and I'm in the hot tub right now. We just had all the kids in here, but all of them have left except for Dallin is the last remaining hot tuber, how you doing bud? Dallin: Good. Russell: So Dallin, if you guys saw Funnel Friday's this week, was on Funnel Fridays and he actually built a funnel. What was the funnel about that you built? Dallin: Snow balls. Rocks snow balls. Russell: Yeah, Jim Edwards built a script to throw snowballs with putting rocks in the snowballs, evil snowballs huh? Dallin: Yeah, evil. You don't want to mess with it. Russell: But it was pretty good right? You built the funnel in about 15 minutes. Dallin: Yeah, it was supposed to be 30 but I got under pressure. Russell: Normally people get 30 minutes but I gave Dallin 15 because I knew he could do it.  And he did, the funnel was amazing. It was pretty good. Dallin: I'm really good at it. Russell: So if any of you guys are wondering or want to see that, go to Funnelfridays.com and look at the Christmas special and you'll meet most of my kids, were on that episodes except I don't think Norah came in. Dallin: Yeah, but Bowen didn't come in. Russell: Oh yeah, Bowen didn't come but most of my kids are on there, so if you want to meet them go to funnelfridays.com. But tonight I have a really special message. So that's what I wanted to talk to you guys about today. The topic I'm talking about is a thing called contrast. So I'm telling you this while we are sitting in the hot tub, it's 7:54 pm Christmas night. We had a great Christmas day today and now we're outside and it's dark and cold, there's snow, there's about ten inches of snow. In fact, yesterday we were out in….we bought this four wheeler rhino thing. Dallin: That's awesome. It's like a snow thing that picks up snow. Russell: Yeah, it has a snow plow on the front of it, and we hook tubes to the back and pulled the kids around the yard for….it was really fun. Dallin: Now I know how to drive a car. Russell: What? Don't talk about that. So it's really, really cold and then we jumped in the hot tub and it's like 102 degrees and it's really hot. So the kids, would be getting in the hot tub and then they'd jump out into the snow and do snow angels and they're screaming because it's so cold and they dive back in and they're screaming because it's so hot. And back and forth and back and forth. And what's cool if you think about that, what's making this experience really fun is the contrast. And I started thinking about other things where contrast is the key. And I really think that happiness in life is tied to contrast. We had a church Christmas party and they decided to have Collette and I be in charge of it. So we had the chance to throw a party for 500 people and one of the ideas that came out of it, one of the guys on our committee, he had an idea. He's like, “We should do a hot chocolate bar.” And I was like, “Oh that would be awesome.” So we had this huge hot chocolate bar, we boiled I don't know, thirty gallons of hot chocolate. Dallin: With a lot of good candy. Russell: We had tons of toppings like York Peppermint patties, cinnamon bears, marshmallows… Dallin: And then my favorite flavor ran out right when they came in. Russell: So we had a whole bunch of stuff, and the point of this story, we had a huge hot chocolate bar, which was good, but what made it great was the contrast. We had an ice cream scooper scooping a bunch of ice cream into the hot chocolate. So we have this hot, hot chocolate with cold ice cream and the contrast is what made it magic. You go like that with most foods. If you go to a restaurant and you get sweet and sour sauce, you get sweet and sour is the contrast, that's why it's interesting. A lot of foods are that way. They have two…..for Christmas somebody may have sent me a bag of this and may have eaten the whole thing by myself. It was a bag of chocolate covered pretzels. The chocolate is sweet and the pretzels are salty. So it's salty, sweet and the contrast is what made it interesting. Dallin: Dad, not cool to tell that in front of your kid. Russell: You want to eat it now? But you think about most parts of life, the relationships I have with people that are the most fun are not where they're like me. I do have a lot of fun with a lot of entrepreneurs that are just like me, but even within that there's a lot of contrast. There's contrast within my family, contrast within my beliefs, contrast within ideas. And that's what makes things interesting. Is the contrast. From food, from relationships, from all these kind of things. What I want to talk about today, a lot of people probably don't know this, but it's also the key to good story telling. Dallin: And cars, and hot tubs. Russell: To hot tubs and cars? It's the key to good story telling, it's the key to good selling. Dallin: That's compare and contrast. Boom. Russell: Okay, boom. Dallin's comparing contrasted. He compared a car and a hot tub. Did you contrast them? Dallin: No, not really. Russell: Okay, so let me explain this. So when telling a story it's the contrast that makes the story interesting. So from a higher level view it's like, you tell a story, “first I was broke, then I was rich.” That was the contrast. “first I was fat, then I got skinny. First I was sad, then I became happy.” That contrast is what makes the story interesting. That's from an overarching story level. That's kind of the arch that people normally go on. Dallin: It's like with the cereal I had this morning too. Russell: Dallin wants to throw things completely off topic. Okay Dallin, let me finish this story and then you can tell about cereal okay? So then it's also from a macro level, the micro level is the same thing when you're telling stories. You get down to the actual pieces of the story, it's also the contrast. You dig down and as you're telling the details, the contrast in the details is what's interesting as well. So it's like, right now if I were telling the story, we're sitting in the hot tub and part of our body was so hot because it's 102, 103 degrees. It's really warm, but my head and neck is above water and when the wind hits you it's bitter cold. And it cuts you, it cuts you down even into the water because it's so cold, but then the water is so warm that it pushes that heat back up. So I'm telling the contrast of the cold and the hot, which makes it intriguing, makes it interesting. So when you're describing each of the individual pieces of the story there's contrast in all of them. You're writing emails, there should be contrast in your emails. As you're talking about things, “I was this and I became this. I felt this, but then this happened.” There's a scripture that all my Mormon friends would now about where Lehi in the beginning of the Book of Mormon, he talks about how there's got to be opposite in all things. If it wasn't for the dark you wouldn't know ….if it wasn't for evil you wouldn't know good. There's a reason why there's contrast. Without sadness you can't have happiness. Without that contrast you can't know happiness until you've had sadness. You can't know joy until you've had pain. You can't do what's right unless you know what's wrong. Dallin: Wrong. Russsell: Yeah, Dallin's getting it. Hopefully everyone's catching on at the same time. But it's that contrast in all things in life. That's what makes life interesting, is that contrast. Dallin: Sad, happy. Bad, good. Loving it, hating it. Russell: What other contrasts you got? Dallin:  Ellie and school. Russell: Ellie and school? Ellie's is his sister, and school? Okay. Dallin: They're really far contrasts. Russell: Ellie and school are contrasts. But you think about it you guys. It's interesting because that's the key. Depends on how you look at it. If you look at it like, I'm going to eat something, let me make some contrasts. I'm going to tell a story, I'm going to sell something. I'm going to write an email to… Dallin: Billy Bob Joe. Russell: What? Dallin: Billy Bob Joe. Russell: Who's Billy Bob Joe? Dallin: You're sending an email to Billy Bob Joe. Russell: Okay…..Alright, that makes no sense, but whatever. So I hope that, amongst the random thoughts, I hope you guys got some value from tonight. From the contrast of sitting in the hot tub while the cold is on my, blowing against my skin and kind of freezing up top. Dallin: That's why it's cold, hot tub. Car, contrast. Russell: Yes, alright Dal, you want to tell the story from breakfast this morning? Dallin: Yeah, sure. Russell: Alright, tell it loud so you can all hear. Dallin: So our dad took a huge bowl, one that we use to make cookies and stuff. Russell: A big salad bowl. Dallin: Yeah. For Christmas he got a big Lucky Charm thing… Russell: it was Marshmallow Matey's. It's the generic Malt-O-Meal knock off version of Lucky Charms. Speaking of, real quick of Lucky Charms, the reason why it's so good is the contrast. There's the oats that are not sweet and the marshmallows that are sweet, that's why it's so good. Dallin: Yeah, but our dad dumped it all in and filled the whole bowl up, which he didn't use a normal cereal bowl. Russell: The whole salad bowl of Marshmallow Matey's. Dallin: And he ate all the oats first and then he sugared up with all the marshmallows. Russell: So this is my brothers and sisters have done our whole lives. So Santa brings us sugar cereal, we always used to get Marshmallow Matey's because it's twice the size of Lucky Charms, because you get a big old Marshmallow Matey's bag.  So I would fill a salad bowl full. Dallin:  I wish I did it this morning too. Russell:  You can do it, I got leftovers. Dallin:  Tomorrow morning I'm going to use a big salad bowl. Russell: And we do it so the rule is you can't eat a single marshmallow until all the oats are gone. Dallin: Unless we accidently eat one. Russell: No, if you accidently, you have to spit it back out. Dallin: What the…? Russell: Yep. Dallin: But what if you don't know it's in there. Russell: Yeah, I guess you don't know. But you should know. You have to be really careful, it take's probably 20 or 30 minutes. I Snapchatted me doing it. But then I ate the whole thing, so when you're done with it though, you've got this whole bowl of marshmallows and the marshmallows are oozing into the milk. So the milk's like syrup as well. So at the end you drink the marshmallow syrup milk and it's the reward for sacrificing 30 minutes of your life to something that's completely ridiculous. Dallin: Oh yeah, so tell them about the mission companion thing. Russell: So I went on a mission for the Mormon church, I was in New Jersey and Santa Claus knew how to get Marshmallow Matey's up to New Jersey. So Christmas morning I pull the huge salad bowl out, it's tradition you have to do it. So I was eating it and it took like an hour…. Dallin's dying over here. My companion, after a half an hour is like, “Elder Brunson, you gotta stop. I can't handle the noise of you eating every little piece of cereal. Get out of this room.” Poor guy. He probably hates me for that. Ooh, Dallin. Feel my hair it's frozen hard as a rock. Dallin: yeah, that's why I was grabbing it. Russell: So I have one more story for you guys about contrast. Actually it has nothing to do with contrast, but it's a cool story. When I was a kid we went on a family reunion up somewhere for winter time and it was like this. We went to a hot tub, and we walked from the hot tub back to our condo and it was freezing. And my cousin, Juliana, her hair froze. And she grabbed it, bent it and it snapped her hair off, broke her hair. Dallin: And she didn't even feel a thing. Russell: Which is crazy. So I wonder if I could give myself a haircut right now? Dallin: Oh, hi Norah. Or Aiden. Russell: Oh, there's the kids. Oh man. I think we're going to have to end the hot tub party while everyone else is having fun inside without us. Aiden is in his ninja turtle outfit, driving Norah's new scooter. Anyway, appreciate you guys for listening. Hopefully you got some value out of today. Remember contrast in all things. It's the spice of life, makes it interesting, builds…. Dallin: And funniness. Russell: And funniness, it builds your relationships. Dallin: And Billy Bob Joe. Russell: and Billy Bob Joe.  Helps you sell things. Dallin: And cars. Russell: Helps you eat better. Dallin: And hot tubs. And Lucky Charms. Russell: Alright, we're going to go. Peace out everybody, thanks so much for everything. Talk to you soon. Dallin: And microphones. Russell: What? Bye. Dallin: And everything. And snow. And Norah.

A powerful tool to use in your storytelling. On today’s special Christmas, hot tub edition of Marketing In Your Car, Russell and his son Dallin talk about contrast and why it makes life and business better. Here are some fun things you will hear in this episode: Why the contrast of being in 102 degree hot tub makes the freezing cold temperature outside more fun. Why we should look for contrast in all areas of life including food, relationships, and business. And what Russell’s Christmas tradition involving Marshmallow Matey’s is. So listen below to hear Russell and Dallin’s thoughts on why contrast in your life makes it more interesting. ---Transcript--- Hey everyone, this is Russell Brunson, welcome to Marketing In Your Hot Tub. It is actually Christmas night and I’m in the hot tub right now. We just had all the kids in here, but all of them have left except for Dallin is the last remaining hot tuber, how you doing bud? Dallin: Good. Russell: So Dallin, if you guys saw Funnel Friday’s this week, was on Funnel Fridays and he actually built a funnel. What was the funnel about that you built? Dallin: Snow balls. Rocks snow balls. Russell: Yeah, Jim Edwards built a script to throw snowballs with putting rocks in the snowballs, evil snowballs huh? Dallin: Yeah, evil. You don’t want to mess with it. Russell: But it was pretty good right? You built the funnel in about 15 minutes. Dallin: Yeah, it was supposed to be 30 but I got under pressure. Russell: Normally people get 30 minutes but I gave Dallin 15 because I knew he could do it.  And he did, the funnel was amazing. It was pretty good. Dallin: I’m really good at it. Russell: So if any of you guys are wondering or want to see that, go to Funnelfridays.com and look at the Christmas special and you’ll meet most of my kids, were on that episodes except I don’t think Norah came in. Dallin: Yeah, but Bowen didn’t come in. Russell: Oh yeah, Bowen didn’t come but most of my kids are on there, so if you want to meet them go to funnelfridays.com. But tonight I have a really special message. So that’s what I wanted to talk to you guys about today. The topic I’m talking about is a thing called contrast. So I’m telling you this while we are sitting in the hot tub, it’s 7:54 pm Christmas night. We had a great Christmas day today and now we’re outside and it’s dark and cold, there’s snow, there’s about ten inches of snow. In fact, yesterday we were out in….we bought this four wheeler rhino thing. Dallin: That’s awesome. It’s like a snow thing that picks up snow. Russell: Yeah, it has a snow plow on the front of it, and we hook tubes to the back and pulled the kids around the yard for….it was really fun. Dallin: Now I know how to drive a car. Russell: What? Don’t talk about that. So it’s really, really cold and then we jumped in the hot tub and it’s like 102 degrees and it’s really hot. So the kids, would be getting in the hot tub and then they’d jump out into the snow and do snow angels and they’re screaming because it’s so cold and they dive back in and they’re screaming because it’s so hot. And back and forth and back and forth. And what’s cool if you think about that, what’s making this experience really fun is the contrast. And I started thinking about other things where contrast is the key. And I really think that happiness in life is tied to contrast. We had a church Christmas party and they decided to have Collette and I be in charge of it. So we had the chance to throw a party for 500 people and one of the ideas that came out of it, one of the guys on our committee, he had an idea. He’s like, “We should do a hot chocolate bar.” And I was like, “Oh that would be awesome.” So we had this huge hot chocolate bar, we boiled I don’t know, thirty gallons of hot chocolate. Dallin: With a lot of good candy. Russell: We had tons of toppings like York Peppermint patties, cinnamon bears, marshmallows… Dallin: And then my favorite flavor ran out right when they came in. Russell: So we had a whole bunch of stuff, and the point of this story, we had a huge hot chocolate bar, which was good, but what made it great was the contrast. We had an ice cream scooper scooping a bunch of ice cream into the hot chocolate. So we have this hot, hot chocolate with cold ice cream and the contrast is what made it magic. You go like that with most foods. If you go to a restaurant and you get sweet and sour sauce, you get sweet and sour is the contrast, that’s why it’s interesting. A lot of foods are that way. They have two…..for Christmas somebody may have sent me a bag of this and may have eaten the whole thing by myself. It was a bag of chocolate covered pretzels. The chocolate is sweet and the pretzels are salty. So it’s salty, sweet and the contrast is what made it interesting. Dallin: Dad, not cool to tell that in front of your kid. Russell: You want to eat it now? But you think about most parts of life, the relationships I have with people that are the most fun are not where they’re like me. I do have a lot of fun with a lot of entrepreneurs that are just like me, but even within that there’s a lot of contrast. There’s contrast within my family, contrast within my beliefs, contrast within ideas. And that’s what makes things interesting. Is the contrast. From food, from relationships, from all these kind of things. What I want to talk about today, a lot of people probably don’t know this, but it’s also the key to good story telling. Dallin: And cars, and hot tubs. Russell: To hot tubs and cars? It’s the key to good story telling, it’s the key to good selling. Dallin: That’s compare and contrast. Boom. Russell: Okay, boom. Dallin’s comparing contrasted. He compared a car and a hot tub. Did you contrast them? Dallin: No, not really. Russell: Okay, so let me explain this. So when telling a story it’s the contrast that makes the story interesting. So from a higher level view it’s like, you tell a story, “first I was broke, then I was rich.” That was the contrast. “first I was fat, then I got skinny. First I was sad, then I became happy.” That contrast is what makes the story interesting. That’s from an overarching story level. That’s kind of the arch that people normally go on. Dallin: It’s like with the cereal I had this morning too. Russell: Dallin wants to throw things completely off topic. Okay Dallin, let me finish this story and then you can tell about cereal okay? So then it’s also from a macro level, the micro level is the same thing when you’re telling stories. You get down to the actual pieces of the story, it’s also the contrast. You dig down and as you’re telling the details, the contrast in the details is what’s interesting as well. So it’s like, right now if I were telling the story, we’re sitting in the hot tub and part of our body was so hot because it’s 102, 103 degrees. It’s really warm, but my head and neck is above water and when the wind hits you it’s bitter cold. And it cuts you, it cuts you down even into the water because it’s so cold, but then the water is so warm that it pushes that heat back up. So I’m telling the contrast of the cold and the hot, which makes it intriguing, makes it interesting. So when you’re describing each of the individual pieces of the story there’s contrast in all of them. You’re writing emails, there should be contrast in your emails. As you’re talking about things, “I was this and I became this. I felt this, but then this happened.” There’s a scripture that all my Mormon friends would now about where Lehi in the beginning of the Book of Mormon, he talks about how there’s got to be opposite in all things. If it wasn’t for the dark you wouldn’t know ….if it wasn’t for evil you wouldn’t know good. There’s a reason why there’s contrast. Without sadness you can’t have happiness. Without that contrast you can’t know happiness until you’ve had sadness. You can’t know joy until you’ve had pain. You can’t do what’s right unless you know what’s wrong. Dallin: Wrong. Russsell: Yeah, Dallin’s getting it. Hopefully everyone’s catching on at the same time. But it’s that contrast in all things in life. That’s what makes life interesting, is that contrast. Dallin: Sad, happy. Bad, good. Loving it, hating it. Russell: What other contrasts you got? Dallin:  Ellie and school. Russell: Ellie and school? Ellie’s is his sister, and school? Okay. Dallin: They’re really far contrasts. Russell: Ellie and school are contrasts. But you think about it you guys. It’s interesting because that’s the key. Depends on how you look at it. If you look at it like, I’m going to eat something, let me make some contrasts. I’m going to tell a story, I’m going to sell something. I’m going to write an email to… Dallin: Billy Bob Joe. Russell: What? Dallin: Billy Bob Joe. Russell: Who’s Billy Bob Joe? Dallin: You’re sending an email to Billy Bob Joe. Russell: Okay…..Alright, that makes no sense, but whatever. So I hope that, amongst the random thoughts, I hope you guys got some value from tonight. From the contrast of sitting in the hot tub while the cold is on my, blowing against my skin and kind of freezing up top. Dallin: That’s why it’s cold, hot tub. Car, contrast. Russell: Yes, alright Dal, you want to tell the story from breakfast this morning? Dallin: Yeah, sure. Russell: Alright, tell it loud so you can all hear. Dallin: So our dad took a huge bowl, one that we use to make cookies and stuff. Russell: A big salad bowl. Dallin: Yeah. For Christmas he got a big Lucky Charm thing… Russell: it was Marshmallow Matey’s. It’s the generic Malt-O-Meal knock off version of Lucky Charms. Speaking of, real quick of Lucky Charms, the reason why it’s so good is the contrast. There’s the oats that are not sweet and the marshmallows that are sweet, that’s why it’s so good. Dallin: Yeah, but our dad dumped it all in and filled the whole bowl up, which he didn’t use a normal cereal bowl. Russell: The whole salad bowl of Marshmallow Matey’s. Dallin: And he ate all the oats first and then he sugared up with all the marshmallows. Russell: So this is my brothers and sisters have done our whole lives. So Santa brings us sugar cereal, we always used to get Marshmallow Matey’s because it’s twice the size of Lucky Charms, because you get a big old Marshmallow Matey’s bag.  So I would fill a salad bowl full. Dallin:  I wish I did it this morning too. Russell:  You can do it, I got leftovers. Dallin:  Tomorrow morning I’m going to use a big salad bowl. Russell: And we do it so the rule is you can’t eat a single marshmallow until all the oats are gone. Dallin: Unless we accidently eat one. Russell: No, if you accidently, you have to spit it back out. Dallin: What the…? Russell: Yep. Dallin: But what if you don’t know it’s in there. Russell: Yeah, I guess you don’t know. But you should know. You have to be really careful, it take’s probably 20 or 30 minutes. I Snapchatted me doing it. But then I ate the whole thing, so when you’re done with it though, you’ve got this whole bowl of marshmallows and the marshmallows are oozing into the milk. So the milk’s like syrup as well. So at the end you drink the marshmallow syrup milk and it’s the reward for sacrificing 30 minutes of your life to something that’s completely ridiculous. Dallin: Oh yeah, so tell them about the mission companion thing. Russell: So I went on a mission for the Mormon church, I was in New Jersey and Santa Claus knew how to get Marshmallow Matey’s up to New Jersey. So Christmas morning I pull the huge salad bowl out, it’s tradition you have to do it. So I was eating it and it took like an hour…. Dallin’s dying over here. My companion, after a half an hour is like, “Elder Brunson, you gotta stop. I can’t handle the noise of you eating every little piece of cereal. Get out of this room.” Poor guy. He probably hates me for that. Ooh, Dallin. Feel my hair it’s frozen hard as a rock. Dallin: yeah, that’s why I was grabbing it. Russell: So I have one more story for you guys about contrast. Actually it has nothing to do with contrast, but it’s a cool story. When I was a kid we went on a family reunion up somewhere for winter time and it was like this. We went to a hot tub, and we walked from the hot tub back to our condo and it was freezing. And my cousin, Juliana, her hair froze. And she grabbed it, bent it and it snapped her hair off, broke her hair. Dallin: And she didn’t even feel a thing. Russell: Which is crazy. So I wonder if I could give myself a haircut right now? Dallin: Oh, hi Norah. Or Aiden. Russell: Oh, there’s the kids. Oh man. I think we’re going to have to end the hot tub party while everyone else is having fun inside without us. Aiden is in his ninja turtle outfit, driving Norah’s new scooter. Anyway, appreciate you guys for listening. Hopefully you got some value out of today. Remember contrast in all things. It’s the spice of life, makes it interesting, builds…. Dallin: And funniness. Russell: And funniness, it builds your relationships. Dallin: And Billy Bob Joe. Russell: and Billy Bob Joe.  Helps you sell things. Dallin: And cars. Russell: Helps you eat better. Dallin: And hot tubs. And Lucky Charms. Russell: Alright, we’re going to go. Peace out everybody, thanks so much for everything. Talk to you soon. Dallin: And microphones. Russell: What? Bye. Dallin: And everything. And snow. And Norah.

So Christmas is coming up and are you Ready?  Have you been working really hard to get everything done?  How about buying presents?  Making all of that baking? Is that all fun for you, or would you really love to create something different?  Holidays can be a lovely time to enjoy our families and friends in new and old ways, and for many it can be stressful.  Lets talk about this and if you have any stress around what you wish would be ease and fun for you, then come and join me as we play with this idea of Christmas Fun!! www.laurielaursen.com ~ lovelylaurie17@gmail.com

So Christmas is over. You are now fatter and poorer! Let us cheer you up by listening to the House of Man-children rant and rave along with our guest for the week Simone! Sit back and relax to the smooth speaker busting, rage caging sounds of HoM podcast #21.

Aprender ingles gratis con La Mansion del Ingles. Un podcast para mejorar la gramatica, el vocabulario y la pronunciacion del ingles. Una leccion del ingles con ejemplos y ejercicios. Learn English free with podcasts from La Mansion del Ingles. Improve your grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation. This English lesson contains examples and exercises. Hello again to all of you and welcome to Mansión Inglés Christmas podcast. A very merry Christmas to all of you! This is podcast number 44, recorded for December 2011. Taking your English to the next level and into the year 2012. En los podcasts mensuales hablamos de los temas, vocabulario y ejercicios que salen en nuestro cuaderno mensual. Así podáis practicar la pronunciación y repasar el material del cuaderno. Si quieres recibir gratis el cuaderno o leer los anteriores, vete a mansioningles.com y sigue los enlaces en la página principal. Bueno, en el cuaderno este mes tenemos mucho vocabulario de navidad, por supuesto - of course! -y algunas hechos interesantes de la historia de navidad. La canción de navidad este año es "Do They know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid. We also have some commonly confused words for advanced students, and in the business section I tell you a true story about a Company Christmas party I had when I worked in the UK many years ago. Pero vamos a empezar en el nivel básico con la pronunciacóon del vocabulario en el primer ejercicio del cuaderno. ¿Cómo se dice en inglés pastel de navidad? - Christmas cake - repeat Christmas cake. ¿cómo se dice arból de navidad? - Christmas tree y muñeco de nieve? - a snowman - repeat - snowman. Papa Noel es Father Christmas y también Santa Claus ¿Como se dice regalo? - present. So Christmas presents son....regalos de Navidad. Repeat: Christmas presents. Cartas de navidad son Christmas cards y un reno es reindeer - repeat: reindeer. How many reindeer does Santa have? Hmmm there's Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. That's 8. So Santa has 8 reindeer. Santa goes down the chimney. Chimney is similar in Spanish - chimenea. Repeat: Santa goes down the chimney. He takes presents down the chimney. Children put a Christmas stocking, or calcetin de navidad, above the chimney. Santa puts presents in the stocking. Sweets are caramelos, dulces. Repeat: sweets. Se dice sweets in British English y candy in American English. Sometimes Santa puts sweets in the Christmas stocking. Listen and repeat - escucha y repite: Father Christmas is too fat. There's a reindeer in the chimney. There aren't many presents this year. Where are the presents? The presents are under the tree. There are some sweets in the Christmas stocking. Look, it's snowing! Let's make a snowman. The 25th of December is Christmas Day. The 24th of December is Christmas Eve. What's the 26th of December? - Boxing Day. Boxing Day es un día festivo en Gran Bretaña. Repeat Christmas Day, Christmas Eve, Boxing Day. January the 1st is New Year's Day and December the 31st is New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is the last day of the year. Listen and repeat some more Christmas expressions from the intermediate section: Christmas decorations Christmas pudding the three wise men Christmas crackers carol singers Christmas stocking Can you believe that the English parliament once passed a law that made Christmas illegal? Well yes, In 1647 all festivities were banned (prohibido) by Oliver Cromwell. He thought that it was immoral to celebrate and have fun on a holy day (un día santo=a holy day). The ban was lifted only when Cromwell lost power in 1660. So it's not only these days that governments are stupid. Another interesting Christmas fact is that in Russia it was forbidden to celebrate Christmas until 1992. This is because Christmas celebrations were banned after the Russian Revolution in 1917. Saint Nicholas is the patron saint (el patrón) of sailors (marineros), merchants (comerciantes), archers (arqueros), thieves (ladrónes), children (niños), and students. On average, only 13 per cent of British families attend church on Christmas Day. Only 13% in Britain go to church. The first Christmas tree with lights was in 1882. It was made by a friend of Thomas Edison, the famous inventor, and it was displayed on Fifth Avenue in New York City. The very first Christmas tree. And the film Bad Santa starring Billy Bob Thornton, the ex-husband of Angelina Jolie, holds the record for the most swearwords (tacos) in a Christmas film. But it's in the uncut version which may not be easy to find. I've already tried. Now listen to some words and expressions from this exercise in Spanish, and try to say the English translation before I do. Ready? aprobar una ley - to pass a law prohibir - to ban - Christmas was banned - smoking is banned (prohibido). quitar una prohibición - to lift a ban - the ban was lifted. sabio - wise - He's a wise man. los Reyes Magos - The Three Wise men un par de medias - a pair of stockings calcetín navideño - Christmas stocking prohibido - forbidden   bombilla - light bulb - B-U-L-B light bulb nuez - walnut I enjoyed writing the exercise for the Christmas song this year, "Do They Know It's Christmas", and I also enjoyed watching it on YouTube. I remember when Bob Geldoff from the Boomtown Rats and Midge Ure from Ultravox formed Band Aid in the 1980's. And now all those stars have changed so much: Sting, Phil Collins, Bono, George Michael. Paul Weller and others from some great British bands like Status Quo, Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet. But now I'm just showing my age! Listen and repeat these words from the song that have the same vowel sound - el mismo sonido vocal: sun / ones flow / grows tears / fear afraid / shade instead /spread smile /life Listen to some words from the song in Spanish, and try to say the English translation before I do. Ok? sombra - shade or shadow - shade es un lugar sin sol. If the sun is too strong, sit in the shade. - and shadow es una proyección - las sombras de los árboles - the shadows of the trees, for example. abundancia - plenty - There's plenty of food. alegría - joy extender, difundir - to spread - you spread butter on bread, for example, or spread joy and happiness at Christmas time. oración - prayer - Say a prayer for me. ¿Cómo se dice rezar en inglés? - to pray - They go to church to pray lagrimas - tears - How do you say llorar in English? - to cry - I cried for you - So cry is the verb and tears, the  noun, the water that comes from your eyes when you cry - you can also cry tears of joy if you're happy. fluir - is to flow - a river flows and if you cry a lot, tears can flow picadura - sting - the verb and the noun are the same - to sting and a sting - a bee or a wasp can sting you. So can scorpions. In the song they sang about picadura amarga - bitter sting - the bitter sting of tears - "The only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears." ¿Cómo se dice en inglés en vez de, en lugar de? - instead of - Repeat:  Instead of - I'll have tea instead of coffee - Let's go to the beach instead of the pub - Nah - Let's go to the pub instead of the beach! regalo - gift - Before we translated regalo as present, but you can also say gift. I've got a gift for you - Please accept this gift from all of us. da de comer, alimentar - is to feed - food -F-O-O-D is a noun, and to feed - F-E-E-D is the verb. - Don't forget to feed the dog - How often do you have to feed a baby? In the advanced section we had some advanced vocabulary. Do you remember these words? Sleigh - Eight reindeer pull Santa's sleigh. Sleigh is trineo. The spelling is a bit strange - S-L-E-I-G-H. Repeat: sleigh - Here's a definition from Wikipedia with two similar words: "A sled - S-L-E-D, sledge - S-L-E-D-G-E, or sleigh is a land vehicle with a smooth underside or possessing a separate body supported by two or more smooth, relatively narrow, longitudinal runners that travels by sliding across a surface." Holly in Spanish is acebo and mistletoe is muérdago. Repeat: mistletoe. It's traditional to kiss someone under the mistletoe. When I lived in London I used this tradition at Christmas with mixed results, especially with strangers, and especially after a few drinks! Eggnog is a popular Christmas drink. It's made with milk or cream, sugar, beaten eggs and liquor such as brandy, rum or maybe whisky with also some cinnamon or nutmeg on top. I've never liked it much, It's much too sweet for me, but my grandmother liked it. I prefer a glass or two of Jack Daniels or single malt whiskey. Mice pies are small round pastry tarts filled with mincemeat (carne picada). I don't like them, but I love Christmas pudding. You would probably find mince pies, Christmas pudding and Christmas cake in a Christmas hamper. A hamper is a cesta - Christmas hamper - cesta de navidad. Companies in the UK used to give Christmas hampers to their employees when I lived their, but with the recession I'm not sure how many companies still do this. many companies probably can't afford it. Do you know how to say pesebre in English? manger. The baby Jesus lay in a manger. In the confusing words exercise you could find a lot of the answers from the prepositions that go together with the words. Try to remember the prepositions that go with words. For example, insist -  He insisted ON seeing the manager. Accustomed TO - He's not accustomed to driving on the right hand side of the road. To be familiar WITH someone or something - Are you familiar with the law? To be aware OF - Are you aware of the rules? To be used TO something - Are you used to the food? Instead of, apart from etc. If you make an announcement, you say something publicly. I have an announcement to make. We're getting married. The Prime Minister made an announcement on TV last night. How do you say warning? - A warning is una advertencia. Let this be a warning - que esto sirva de advertencia It happened without warning - sin previo aviso Advice is consejo and it's an uncountable noun so we say a piece of advice or some advice. Let me give you a piece of advice, son. A notice can be a written sign un aviso to put up a notice in the street, for example. You can take notice of someone - hacer caso - or not take notice. Don't take any notice of him, he's an idiot! at work you can hand in your notice if you decide to leave your job- (de dimisión o despido) preaviso: I have to give a month's notice - tengo que avisar con un mes de antelación. You can also do something at short notice - con poca antelación. until further notice means hasta nuevo aviso - There will be no trains leaving this station until further notice. Do you say reunión in Spanish or reencuentro? - a reunion of school friends. For example,  when you get together and meet up after a long time. You can have a family reunion - una reunión familiar. In the dictionary newscaster is presentador de informativo or locutor. I also found busto parlante which is an expression I hadn't heard before. If you get lost you ask for directions, except if you're a man in which case you insist you know the way and you keep driving until you find your way again or run out of petrol! Signs can be carteles, pancartas, símbolos or signos, but a road sign es una señal, in Spain anyway. In the business English section I told a true story about when I used to work in an insurance office in London, and every Christmas we would have a firm's Christmas party. Firm F-I-R-M is another word for company - empresa. We don't often use the word enterprise when we speak about companies in English, although it does also mean empresa.   I'll read the text to you. Try to remember as much of the text as possible because I will test you after. The Firm's Christmas Party I used to work for a very large and successful insurance company in London. Every year, in the middle of December, we would have a Christmas party, paid for by the company. They had a lot of money. Back in the 1980's I suppose our office alone employed over 600 people, and there must have been around 1,000 at the party. It usually took place on Friday evening. This meant that no work was done after lunch, because lunch would be in the pub! We'd start drinking about 1pm and after 3 or 4 drinks, we'd get on the train to the centre of London or take the coach provided by the firm. The venue was a huge theatre and dance hall in the Strand in the centre of London, but we wouldn't go straight there. Each department generally went with their workmates to a pub nearby for more drinks. I remember that there were mostly men at the 'pre-party' drink. Maybe the girls were getting ready and putting on evening dresses and make up. There was a special atmosphere in the pubs at Christmas time. People in London actually spoke to each other and were friendly. They lost their English coldness and stuffiness. When we finally arrived at the party most of us were drunk, and very hungry. The food was always good, but I mainly remember the music and the incredible amount of alcohol everyone consumed. I don't remember anyone being sober. Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives were banned from the event, and it was common for employees to 'pair-up' for a kiss and a dance for the evening. Things were a little crazy. Only once a year, at Christmas time, 1,000 office workers stopped being boring and English and actually enjoyed themselves, they let their hair down and went a bit wild!   Ok, listen again and when I stop speaking, try to remember the next word and say it before I do. Ready?   The Firm's Christmas Party I used to work for a very large and ...............successful insurance company in............ London. Every year, in the middle of ..............December, we would have a Christmas party, paid for by the .............company. They had a lot of ............money. Back in the 1980's I suppose our office alone employed over 600 ............people, and there must have been around 1,000 at the party. It usually took place on Friday ..............evening. This meant that no work was done after .............lunch, because lunch would be in the ...........pub! We'd start ............drinking about 1pm and after 3 or 4 drinks, we'd get on the .............train to the centre of London or take the ..............coach provided by the firm. The venue was a huge theatre and dance hall in the Strand in the centre of ..........London, but we wouldn't go straight there. Each department generally went with their............ workmates to a pub nearby for more ............drinks. I remember that there were mostly .........men at the 'pre-party' drink. Maybe the girls were getting ready and putting on evening .........dresses and .........make up. There was a special ..........atmosphere in the pubs at Christmas time. People actually spoke to each other and were ............friendly. They lost their English coldness and stuffiness. When we finally arrived at the party most of us were ..........drunk, and very ..........hungry. The food was always .........good, but I mainly remember the ........music and the incredible amount of ...........alcohol everyone consumed. I don't remember anyone being ...........sober. Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and ..........wives were ...........banned from the event, and it was common for employees to 'pair-up' for a ........kiss and a ........dance for the evening. Things were a little .........crazy. Only once a year, at Christmas time, 1,000 office workers stopped being ...........boring and English and actually enjoyed themselves, let their hair ...........down and went a bit ...........wild! (¡Muy bien! - wonderful!)   Let's finish with some Christmas expressions. Listen to some expressions and try to say the English translation before I do. Ready? ¡Feliz Navidad!  - Happy Christmas! or Merry Christmas! Papá Noel - Father Christmas or Santa Claus regalo de navidad - Christmas present or Christmas gift muñeco de nieve - snowman chimenea - Chimney una estrella – star un burro - a donkey el acebo - holly el muérdago - mistletoe el pavo - turkey   un villancico - Christmas carol una cesta de Navidad - a Christmas hamper pastor - shepherd Nochebuena  - Christmas Eve  Día de navidad - Christmas Day diciembre 26 – Boxing Day Nochevieja - New Year's Eve El día de año nuevo - New Year's Day ¡Felices fiestas! - Season's greetings! Salud! - Cheers! ¡Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo!  - Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! ¿Qué te regalaron para Navidad?  - What did you get for Christmas?   Well, that’s it for this month, and for this year. Thanks to all of you for all your support during 2011. And, if you want to contact us you can find us on Facebook. Just search Facebook for La Mansión del Inglés and join our growing community of fans. Or send an email to: mansionteachers@yahoo.es. You can also follow us on Twitter. Our Twitter name is MansionTwit.   Until next month then, take care and keep practising to take your English to the next level! Bye for now and Merry Christmas!   Puedes ver el cuaderno mensual de diciembre aquí: http://www.cuadernodeingles.com/cuaderno_mes/versionweb_mesesanteriores/cuaderno_11_dic.htm Puedes ver todos los cuadernos anteriores aquí. http://www.cuadernodeingles.com/ Puedes recibir gratis nuestro Cuaderno mensual de Inglés aquí. http://www.mansioningles.net/formulario/altacuaderno.asp   The music in this month’s podcast was by Revolution Void, the album was The Politics of Desire and the track was Outer Orbit.