Podcasts about Wound

A vascular surgeon with no criminal record. A Chicago penthouse. A firearm that police say matches shell casings from a double homicide 300 miles away. And eight years of alleged obsession that ended with Monique Tepe and her husband Spencer dead while their children slept down the hall.Former FBI Special Agent Robin Dreeke—who headed the Bureau's Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program—identifies Dr. Michael McKee as a potential "wound collector." These are people who don't move on from perceived injuries. They catalog grievances, assign blame, and carry resentment for years until it explodes. Dreeke breaks down how wound collectors think, how high-functioning professionals mask dangerous resentment, what finally triggers them to act, and how they convince themselves they're the victim. Understanding this psychology might help someone recognize the signs before the next tragedy.Former FBI Special Agent Jennifer Coffindaffer analyzes the forensic evidence. Surveillance footage captured McKee's vehicle arriving before the killings and leaving after. A hooded figure walked through an alley at 3:52 AM. A preliminary NIBIN ballistics match ties a firearm from McKee's penthouse to the crime scene. But the investigation raises questions: how did someone allegedly enter the Tepe home with no forced entry? And why would a surgeon—someone whose entire career is built on precision—allegedly keep the murder weapon in his own apartment for eleven days?Coffindaffer examines the behavioral red flags that emerged months before, including a malpractice process server who tried nine times to locate McKee at addresses that didn't exist. She explains what investigators are holding back, what the defense will exploit, and why waiving extradition might be calculated. McKee maintains his innocence and plans to plead not guilty to two counts of premeditated aggravated murder.#TeepeMurders #MichaelMcKee #WoundCollector #RobinDreeke #JenniferCoffindaffer #TrueCrimeToday #FBI #MoniqueTepe #SpencerTepe #NIBINJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

Eight years. That's how long Dr. Michael McKee allegedly waited after his divorce from Monique Tepe before he drove 300 miles from Illinois to Ohio and shot her and her husband Spencer dead in their home. Most people move on after a failed marriage. They heal. They rebuild. But according to FBI behavioral expert Robin Dreeke, McKee may be what's called a "wound collector"—someone who doesn't let go of perceived injuries, who catalogs grievances and carries resentment for years until it explodes.Dreeke spent 32 years at the FBI, including heading the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. He breaks down how wound collectors think, how they justify, and why high-functioning professionals like surgeons can mask dangerous resentment behind successful careers. We examine what triggers someone to finally act after years of stewing, how they flip the narrative to convince themselves they're the victim, and what watching an ex-spouse's happiness does to someone who never let go.But the forensic evidence raises its own questions. Former FBI Special Agent Jennifer Coffindaffer analyzes the investigation—surveillance footage of McKee's vehicle arriving before the killings and leaving after, a preliminary NIBIN ballistics match, and a hooded figure walking through an alley at 3:52 AM. Police recovered the alleged murder weapon from McKee's Chicago penthouse eleven days after the crime. Why would a surgeon—someone whose career is built on precision—allegedly keep the gun in his own apartment?Coffindaffer examines the no-forced-entry mystery, the behavioral red flags that emerged months before the murders including a malpractice process server who tried nine times to locate McKee at addresses that didn't exist, and why waiving extradition might be the first move in a calculated legal strategy. McKee maintains his innocence and plans to plead not guilty to two counts of premeditated aggravated murder.#McKeeTepe #MichaelMcKee #WoundCollector #RobinDreeke #JenniferCoffindaffer #FBI #SpencerTepe #MoniqueTepe #NIBIN #WeekInReviewJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

Two FBI experts. One case that demands both behavioral and forensic analysis. We're breaking down Dr. Michael McKee live—examining the psychology of an alleged eight-year obsession and the evidence trail that led police to charge him with premeditated aggravated murder.Robin Dreeke spent 32 years at the FBI, including heading the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. He identifies McKee as a potential "wound collector"—someone who doesn't let go of perceived injuries, who catalogs grievances and carries them for years until they explode. Dreeke explains what separates someone who moves on from a failed marriage versus someone who allegedly stews for eight years then drives 300 miles to kill his ex-wife and her husband while their children sleep down the hall. We examine how high-functioning surgeons can mask dangerous resentment, what triggers wound collectors to finally act, and how they flip the narrative to see themselves as victims.Former FBI Special Agent Jennifer Coffindaffer analyzes the forensic case. Surveillance footage shows McKee's vehicle arriving before the killings and leaving after. A preliminary NIBIN ballistics match connects a firearm from his Chicago penthouse to shell casings at the scene. Police recovered the alleged murder weapon eleven days after the crime. But why would a surgeon—someone whose career demands precision—allegedly keep the gun? Coffindaffer examines the no-forced-entry mystery, the behavioral red flags months before including a malpractice process server who couldn't locate McKee at nine different addresses, and what investigators are likely holding back.McKee had no criminal record. No documented threats. Nothing on paper that flagged him as dangerous. He maintains his innocence. Understanding wound collectors and analyzing the evidence might help someone recognize the signs before the next tragedy.#MichaelMcKee #MoniqueTepe #SpencerTepe #WoundCollector #RobinDreeke #JenniferCoffindaffer #HiddenKillersLive #FBI #NIBIN #LiveBreakdownJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

What turns a failed seven-month marriage into an alleged eight-year obsession ending in double homicide?Michael McKee, a 39-year-old vascular surgeon, is charged with four counts of aggravated murder in the shooting deaths of his ex-wife Monique Tepe and her husband Spencer. Family members say Monique lived with McKee for only seven months before escaping what they describe as emotional abuse and repeated death threats. She divorced him in 2017, remarried in 2020, built a new life with two children. Prosecutors allege McKee drove six hours from Illinois, entered their home without forced entry, shot both victims at 3:52 AM, and drove back.In Part 1 of our three-part expert interview series, psychotherapist Shavaun Scott provides clinical analysis of the alleged perpetrator psychology. With over thirty years working in forensic settings and domestic violence programs — and as author of "The Minds of Mass Killers" — Shavaun brings deep expertise to these questions.We examine the "wound collector" profile identified by FBI profiler Joe Navarro. We explore how high-functioning individuals allegedly compartmentalize obsession. We analyze what allegedly triggers action after years of apparent fixation. And we dig into the internal narrative that may have allegedly justified this alleged eight-year grudge.Expert insight into the psychology of violence.#MichaelMcKee #MoniqueTepe #SpencerTepe #TepeMurders #ShavaunScott #TrueCrimeToday #WoundCollector #ForensicPsychology #DomesticViolence #ExpertAnalysisJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

Seven months of living together. Eight years of alleged obsession. Two lives allegedly taken.Michael McKee was married to Monique Tepe for two years on paper, but family members say they only lived together for about seven months before she fled what they describe as emotional torture and death threats. She rebuilt her life, remarried dentist Spencer Tepe, had children, and appeared to thrive. Prosecutors allege McKee watched from a distance for eight years — then allegedly drove six hours to Columbus, entered their home without forced entry, and shot them both to death while their kids slept.Former FBI profiler Joe Navarro calls this type a "wound collector" — someone who nurtures grievances for years, unable to forgive or move on. Criminal behavioral analyst Laura Richards describes it as "stalking in slow motion." In this episode, we apply these frameworks to the McKee case and explore what the research says about obsessive ex-partners who turn lethal.This one is heavy. But it matters. Because recognizing these patterns saves lives.McKee is charged with four counts of aggravated murder and awaits extradition to Ohio.#MichaelMcKee #MoniqueTepe #SpencerTepe #TepeMurders #WoundCollector #TrueCrime #DomesticViolence #CoerciveControl #HiddenKillers #OhioJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

Explore the powerful connection between Aquarius energy and healing the witch wound in this deep dive into authenticity, individuality, and collective healing.In this episode, we discuss: ✨ Aquarius season astrology & fixed sign energy

This lecture discusses key ideas from the medieval Christian philosopher and theologian Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologiae, 1st part of the 2nd part, question 28 "The Effects Of Love", and examines his discussions in article 5, which centers on a question raised not only by literary tropes but also by the Song of Songs. Does the passion of love in some way wound or harm the lover? Thomas notes that love produces a "melting" or receptiveness in the lover, which if the object of love is present can lead to enjoyment, but if not can lead to strong desire and to the sadness of languor. To support my ongoing work, go to my Patreon site - www.patreon.com/sadler If you'd like to make a direct contribution, you can do so here - www.paypal.me/ReasonIO - or at BuyMeACoffee - www.buymeacoffee.com/A4quYdWoM You can find over 3500 philosophy videos in my main YouTube channel - www.youtube.com/user/gbisadler Purchase Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologiae - amzn.to/2ITcKYQ

In this final episode of our Parent Wound & Your Attachment Style series, we're talking about what inner child healing really is and why insight alone isn't enough to create secure attachment. If you've done the self-work, listened to the podcasts, and still feel stuck in the same relationship patterns, this episode will help you understand what's actually missing. True healing happens when we teach the nervous system that it's safe now, and today I'm walking you through how inner child work, mother wounds, father wounds, and secure attachment all connect.Inside the episode:What inner child healing truly involves - nervous system rewiring, emotional regulation, re-parenting yourself, and building earned secure attachmentHow mother wounds and father wounds show up in adulthood, shaping your relationship with emotions, self-worth, feedback, and loveThe three requirements for becoming securely attached, including creating safety in your body, developing self-trust through re-parenting, and choosing emotionally available relationshipsThis episode is about moving out of survival mode and into safety, not just in your thoughts, but in your body. When you heal your inner child at a nervous system level, your patterns begin to change, your standards rise, and secure relationships stop feeling unfamiliar and start feeling natural.Ready for deeper support? Work with Dr. Morgan

This is the case that broke the system wide open. Ellen Greenberg — a 27-year-old first-grade teacher — was found dead in her Philadelphia apartment with 23 stab wounds, 10 of them to the back of her neck, a knife buried four inches into her chest. The official ruling? Suicide.For 15 years, her parents fought every institution in Pennsylvania. They were told their daughter did this to herself. Courts called the investigation "deeply flawed" but couldn't grant relief. The original medical examiner recanted. A new review found 20 additional bruises and 3 more stab wounds never documented. The city still said suicide.Now federal prosecutors have entered the case — and they're not investigating how Ellen died. They're investigating whether the people who handled her case committed crimes. Sources say the U.S. Attorney's Office has issued subpoenas to the Philadelphia Police Department, the Medical Examiner's Office, and the Pennsylvania Attorney General's Office — the office Governor Josh Shapiro ran when his team closed this case citing laptop searches found on devices that had been removed from the crime scene by Ellen's fiancé's uncle.The chain of custody was broken. The crime scene was cleaned in 24 hours. The doorman never accompanied anyone upstairs. And now, finally, someone with subpoena power wants to know why nobody in Pennsylvania seemed interested in finding the truth.#EllenGreenberg #JoshShapiro #FederalInvestigation #TrueCrime #JusticeForEllen #Philadelphia #Corruption #CoverUp #MedicalExaminer #TrueCrime2025Join Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

Back from the holiday break..the whole gangs here as Tahoe has an issue with wearing outside clothes in the bedroom, a dad says youre out the will if you marry without a prenuptial agreement,speaking to your friend about their cheating habits vs speaking to your parents about their parenting skills, does your relationship with the coparent alter how involved you are in your childs life, and how long should your spouse grieve before having relations. ENJOY!

What if the most transformative thing you can do for your writing craft and author business is to face what you fear? How can you can find gold in your Shadow in the year ahead? In this episode, I share chapters from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words. In the intro, curated book boxes from Bridgerton's Julia Quinn; Google's agentic shopping, and powering Apple's Siri; ChatGPT Ads; and Claude CoWork. Balancing Certainty and Uncertainty [MoonShots with Tony Robbins]; and three trends for authors with me and Orna Ross [Self-Publishing with ALLi Podcast]; plus, Bones of the Deep, Business for Authors, and Indie Author Lab. This show is supported by my Patrons. Join my Community at Patreon.com/thecreativepenn  Joanna Penn writes non-fiction for authors and is an award-winning, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of thrillers, dark fantasy, and memoir as J.F. Penn. She's also an award-winning podcaster, creative entrepreneur, and international professional speaker. What is the Shadow? The ‘creative wound' and the Shadow in writing The Shadow in traditional publishing The Shadow in self-publishing or being an indie author The Shadow in work The Shadow in money You can find Writing the Shadow in all formats on all stores, as well as special edition, workbook and bundles at www.TheCreativePenn.com/shadowbook Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words The following chapters are excerpted from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words by Joanna Penn. Introduction. What is the Shadow? “How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole.” —C.G. Jung, Modern Man in Search of a Soul We all have a Shadow side and it is the work of a lifetime to recognise what lies within and spin that base material into gold. Think of it as a seedling in a little pot that you're given when you're young. It's a bit misshapen and weird, not something you would display in your living room, so you place it in a dark corner of the basement. You don't look at it for years. You almost forget about it. Then one day you notice tendrils of something wild poking up through the floorboards. They're ugly and don't fit with your Scandi-minimalist interior design. You chop the tendrils away and pour weedkiller on what's left, trying to hide the fact that they were ever there. But the creeping stems keep coming. At some point, you know you have to go down there and face the wild thing your seedling has become. When you eventually pluck up enough courage to go down into the basement, you discover that the plant has wound its roots deep into the foundations of your home. Its vines weave in and out of the cracks in the walls, and it has beautiful flowers and strange fruit. It holds your world together. Perhaps you don't need to destroy the wild tendrils. Perhaps you can let them wind up into the light and allow their rich beauty to weave through your home. It will change the look you have so carefully cultivated, but maybe that's just what the place needs. The Shadow in psychology Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychologist and the founder of analytical psychology. He described the Shadow as an unconscious aspect of the human personality, those parts of us that don't match up to what is expected of us by family and society, or to our own ideals. The Shadow is not necessarily evil or illegal or immoral, although of course it can be. It's also not necessarily caused by trauma, abuse, or any other severely damaging event, although again, it can be. It depends on the individual. What is in your Shadow is based on your life and your experiences, as well as your culture and society, so it will be different for everyone. Psychologist Connie Zweig, in The Inner Work of Age, explains, “The Shadow is that part of us that lies beneath or behind the light of awareness. It contains our rejected, unacceptable traits and feelings. It contains our hidden gifts and talents that have remained unexpressed or unlived. As Jung put it, the essence of the Shadow is pure gold.” To further illustrate the concept, Robert Bly, in A Little Book on the Human Shadow,uses the following metaphor: “When we are young, we carry behind us an invisible bag, into which we stuff any feelings, thoughts, or behaviours that bring disapproval or loss of love—anger, tears, neediness, laziness. By the time we go to school, our bags are already a mile long. In high school, our peer groups pressure us to stuff the bags with even more—individuality, sexuality, spontaneity, different opinions. We spend our life until we're twenty deciding which parts of ourselves to put into the bag and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.” As authors, we can use what's in the ‘bag' to enrich our writing — but only if we can access it. My intention with this book is to help you venture into your Shadow and bring some of what's hidden into the light and into your words. I'll reveal aspects of my Shadow in these pages but ultimately, this book is about you. Your Shadow is unique. There may be elements we share, but much will be different. Each chapter has questions for you to consider that may help you explore at least the edges of your Shadow, but it's not easy. As Jung said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” But take heart, Creative. You don't need courage when things are easy. You need it when you know what you face will be difficult, but you do it anyway. We are authors. We know how to do hard things. We turn ideas into books. We manifest thoughts into ink on paper. We change lives with our writing. First, our own, then other people's. It's worth the effort to delve into Shadow, so I hope you will join me on the journey. The creative wound and the Shadow in writing “Whatever pain you can't get rid of, make it your creative offering.” —Susan Cain, Bittersweet  The more we long for something, the more extreme our desire, the more likely it is to have a Shadow side. For those of us who love books, the author life may well be a long-held dream and thus, it is filled with Shadow. Books have long been objects of desire, power, and authority. They hold a mythic status in our lives. We escaped into stories as children; we studied books at school and college; we read them now for escape and entertainment, education and inspiration. We collect beautiful books to put on our shelves. We go to them for solace and answers to the deepest questions of life. Writers are similarly held in high esteem. They shape culture, win literary prizes, give important speeches, and are quoted in the mainstream media. Their books are on the shelves in libraries and bookstores. Writers are revered, held up as rare, talented creatures made separate from us by their brilliance and insight. For bibliophile children, books were everything and to write one was a cherished dream. To become an author? Well, that would mean we might be someone special, someone worthy. Perhaps when you were young, you thought the dream of being a writer was possible — then you told someone about it. That's probably when you heard the first criticism of such a ridiculous idea, the first laughter, the first dismissal. So you abandoned the dream, pushed the idea of being a writer into the Shadow, and got on with your life. Or if it wasn't then, it came later, when you actually put pen to paper and someone — a parent, teacher, partner, or friend, perhaps even a literary agent or publisher, someone whose opinion you valued — told you it was worthless. Here are some things you might have heard: Writing is a hobby. Get a real job. You're not good enough. You don't have any writing talent. You don't have enough education. You don't know what you're doing. Your writing is derivative / unoriginal / boring / useless / doesn't make sense. The genre you write in is dead / worthless / unacceptable / morally wrong / frivolous / useless.  Who do you think you are? No one would want to read what you write. You can't even use proper grammar, so how could you write a whole book? You're wasting your time. You'll never make it as a writer. You shouldn't write those things (or even think about those things). Why don't you write something nice? Insert other derogatory comment here! Mark Pierce describes the effect of this experience in his book The Creative Wound, which “occurs when an event, or someone's actions or words, pierce you, causing a kind of rift in your soul. A comment—even offhand and unintentional—is enough to cause one.” He goes on to say that such words can inflict “damage to the core of who we are as creators. It is an attack on our artistic identity, resulting in us believing that whatever we make is somehow tainted or invalid, because shame has convinced us there is something intrinsically tainted or invalid about ourselves.” As adults, we might brush off such wounds, belittling them as unimportant in the grand scheme of things. We might even find ourselves saying the same words to other people. After all, it's easier to criticise than to create. But if you picture your younger self, bright eyed as you lose yourself in your favourite book, perhaps you might catch a glimpse of what you longed for before your dreams were dashed on the rocks of other people's reality. As Mark Pierce goes on to say, “A Creative Wound has the power to delay our pursuits—sometimes for years—and it can even derail our lives completely… Anything that makes us feel ashamed of ourselves or our work can render us incapable of the self-expression we yearn for.” This is certainly what happened to me, and it took decades to unwind. Your creative wounds will differ to mine but perhaps my experience will help you explore your own. To be clear, your Shadow may not reside in elements of horror as mine do, but hopefully you can use my example to consider where your creative wounds might lie. “You shouldn't write things like that.” It happened at secondary school around 1986 or 1987, so I would have been around eleven or twelve years old. English was one of my favourite subjects and the room we had our lessons in looked out onto a vibrant garden. I loved going to that class because it was all about books, and they were always my favourite things. One day, we were asked to write a story. I can't remember the specifics of what the teacher asked us to write, but I fictionalised a recurring nightmare. I stood in a dark room. On one side, my mum and my brother, Rod, were tied up next to a cauldron of boiling oil, ready to be thrown in. On the other side, my dad and my little sister, Lucy, were threatened with decapitation by men with machetes. I had to choose who would die. I always woke up, my heart pounding, before I had to choose. Looking back now, it clearly represented an internal conflict about having to pick sides between the two halves of my family. Not an unexpected issue from a child of divorce. Perhaps these days, I might have been sent to the school counsellor, but it was the eighties and I don't think we even had such a thing. Even so, the meaning of the story isn't the point. It was the reaction to it that left scars. “You shouldn't write things like that,” my teacher said, and I still remember her look of disappointment, even disgust. Certainly judgment. She said my writing was too dark. It wasn't a proper story. It wasn't appropriate for the class. As if horrible things never happened in stories — or in life. As if literature could not include dark tales. As if the only acceptable writing was the kind she approved of. We were taught The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie that year, which says a lot about the type of writing considered appropriate. Or perhaps the issue stemmed from the school motto, “So hateth she derknesse,” from Chaucer's The Legend of Good Women: “For fear of night, so she hates the darkness.” I had won a scholarship to a private girls' school, and their mission was to turn us all into proper young ladies. Horror was never on the curriculum. Perhaps if my teacher had encouraged me to write my darkness back then, my nightmares would have dissolved on the page. Perhaps if we had studied Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, or H.P. Lovecraft stories, or Bram Stoker's Dracula, I could have embraced the darker side of literature earlier in my life. My need to push darker thoughts into my Shadow was compounded by my (wonderful) mum's best intentions. We were brought up on the principles of The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and she tried to shield me and my brother from anything harmful or horrible. We weren't allowed to watch TV much, and even the British school drama Grange Hill was deemed inappropriate. So much of what I've achieved is because my mum instilled in me a “can do” attitude that anything is possible. I'm so grateful to her for that. (I love you, Mum!) But all that happy positivity, my desire to please her, to be a good girl, to make my teachers proud, and to be acceptable to society, meant that I pushed my darker thoughts into Shadow. They were inappropriate. They were taboo. They must be repressed, kept secret, and I must be outwardly happy and positive at all times. You cannot hold back the darkness “The night is dark and full of terrors.” —George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords It turned out that horror was on the curriculum, much of it in the form of educational films we watched during lessons. In English Literature, we watched Romeo drink poison and Juliet stab herself in Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet. In Religious Studies, we watched Jesus beaten, tortured, and crucified in The Greatest Story Ever Told, and learned of the variety of gruesome ways that Christian saints were martyred. In Classical Civilisation, we watched gladiators slaughter each other in Spartacus. In Sex Education at the peak of the AIDS crisis in the mid-'80s, we were told of the many ways we could get infected and die. In History, we studied the Holocaust with images of skeletal bodies thrown into mass graves, medical experiments on humans, and grainy videos of marching soldiers giving the Nazi salute. One of my first overseas school field trips was to the World War I battlegrounds of Flanders Fields in Belgium, where we studied the inhuman conditions of the trenches, walked through mass graves, and read war poetry by candlelight. As John McCrae wrote: We are the Dead. Short days agoWe lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields. Did the teachers not realise how deeply a sensitive teenager might feel the darkness of that place? Or have I always been unusual in that places of blood echo deep inside me? And the horrors kept coming. We lived in Bristol, England back then and I learned at school how the city had been part of the slave trade, its wealth built on the backs of people stolen from their homes, sold, and worked to death in the colonies. I had been at school for a year in Malawi, Africa and imagined the Black people I knew drowning, being beaten, and dying on those ships. In my teenage years, the news was filled with ethnic cleansing, mass rape, and massacres during the Balkan wars, and images of bodies hacked apart during the Rwandan genocide. Evil committed by humans against other humans was not a historical aberration. I'm lucky and I certainly acknowledge my privilege. Nothing terrible or horrifying has happened to me — but bad things certainly happen to others. I wasn't bullied or abused. I wasn't raped or beaten or tortured. But you don't have to go through things to be afraid of them, and for your imagination to conjure the possibility of them. My mum doesn't read my fiction now as it gives her nightmares (Sorry, Mum!). I know she worries that somehow she's responsible for my darkness, but I've had a safe and (mostly) happy life, for which I'm truly grateful. But the world is not an entirely safe and happy place, and for a sensitive child with a vivid imagination, the world is dark and scary. It can be brutal and violent, and bad things happen, even to good people. No parent can shield their child from the reality of the world. They can only help them do their best to live in it, develop resilience, and find ways to deal with whatever comes. Story has always been a way that humans have used to learn how to live and deal with difficult times. The best authors, the ones that readers adore and can't get enough of, write their darkness into story to channel their experience, and help others who fear the same. In an interview on writing the Shadow on The Creative Penn Podcast, Michaelbrent Collings shared how he incorporated a personally devastating experience into his writing:  “My wife and I lost a child years back, and that became the root of one of my most terrifying books, Apparition. It's not terrifying because it's the greatest book of all time, but just the concept that there's this thing out there… like a demon, and it consumes the blood and fear of the children, and then it withdraws and consumes the madness of the parents… I wrote that in large measure as a way of working through what I was experiencing.” I've learned much from Michaelbrent. I've read many of his (excellent) books and he's been on my podcast multiple times talking about his depression and mental health issues, as well as difficulties in his author career. Writing darkness is not in Michaelbrent's Shadow and only he can say what lies there for him. But from his example, and from that of other authors, I too learned how to write my Shadow into my books. Twenty-three years after that English lesson, in November 2009, I did NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, and wrote five thousand words of what eventually became Stone of Fire, my first novel. In the initial chapter, I burned a nun alive on the ghats of Varanasi on the banks of the Ganges River. I had watched the bodies burn by night on pyres from a boat bobbing in the current a few years before, and the image was still crystal clear in my mind. The only way to deal with how it made me feel about death was to write about it — and since then, I've never stopped writing. Returning to the nightmare from my school days, I've never had to choose between the two halves of my family, but the threat of losing them remains a theme in my fiction. In my ARKANE thriller series, Morgan Sierra will do anything to save her sister and her niece. Their safety drives her to continue to fight against evil. Our deepest fears emerge in our writing, and that's the safest place for them. I wish I'd been taught how to turn my nightmares into words back at school, but at least now I've learned to write my Shadow onto the page. I wish the same for you. The Shadow in traditional publishing If becoming an author is your dream, then publishing a book is deeply entwined with that. But as Mark Pierce says in The Creative Wound, “We feel pain the most where it matters the most… Desire highlights whatever we consider to be truly significant.” There is a lot of desire around publishing for those of us who love books! It can give you: Validation that your writing is good enough Status and credibility Acceptance by an industry held in esteem  The potential of financial reward and critical acclaim Support from a team of professionals who know how to make fantastic books A sense of belonging to an elite community Pride in achieving a long-held goal, resulting in a confidence boost and self-esteem Although not guaranteed, traditional publishing can give you all these things and more, but as with everything, there is a potential Shadow side. Denying it risks the potential of being disillusioned, disappointed, and even damaged. But remember, forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes. Preparation can help you avoid potential issues and help you feel less alone if you encounter them. The myth of success… and the reality of experience There is a pervasive myth of success in the traditional publishing industry, perpetuated by media reporting on brand name and breakout authors, those few outliers whose experience is almost impossible to replicate. Because of such examples, many new traditionally published authors think that their first book will hit the top of the bestseller charts or win an award, as well as make them a million dollars — or at least a big chunk of cash. They will be able to leave their job, write in a beautiful house overlooking the ocean, and swan around the world attending conferences, while writing more bestselling books. It will be a charmed life. But that is not the reality. Perhaps it never was. Even so, the life of a traditionally published author represents a mythic career with the truth hidden behind a veil of obscurity. In April 2023, The Bookseller in the UK reported that “more than half of authors (54%) responding to a survey on their experiences of publishing their debut book have said the process negatively affected their mental health. Though views were mixed, just 22%… described a positive experience overall… Among the majority who said they had a negative experience of debut publication, anxiety, stress, depression and ‘lowered' self-esteem were cited, with lack of support, guidance or clear and professional communication from their publisher among the factors that contributed.” Many authors who have negative experiences around publishing will push them into the Shadow with denial or self-blame, preferring to keep the dream alive. They won't talk about things in public as this may negatively affect their careers, but private discussions are often held in the corners of writing conferences or social media groups online. Some of the issues are as follows: Repeated rejection by agents and publishers may lead to the author thinking they are not good enough as a writer, which can lead to feeling unworthy as a person. If an author gets a deal, the amount of advance and the name and status of the publisher compared to others create a hierarchy that impacts self-esteem. A deal for a book may be much lower than an author might have been expecting, with low or no advance, and the resulting experience with the publisher beneath expectations. The launch process may be disappointing, and the book may appear without fanfare, with few sales and no bestseller chart position. In The Bookseller report, one author described her launch day as “a total wasteland… You have expectations about what publication day will be like, but in reality, nothing really happens.” The book may receive negative reviews by critics or readers or more publicly on social media, which can make an author feel attacked. The book might not sell as well as expected, and the author may feel like it's their fault. Commercial success can sometimes feel tied to self-worth and an author can't help but compare their sales to others, with resulting embarrassment or shame. The communication from the publisher may be less than expected. One author in The Bookseller report said, “I was shocked by the lack of clarity and shared information and the cynicism that underlies the superficial charm of this industry.” There is often more of a focus on debut authors in publishing houses, so those who have been writing and publishing in the midlist for years can feel ignored and undervalued. In The Bookseller report, 48 percent of authors reported “their publisher supported them for less than a year,” with one saying, “I got no support and felt like a commodity, like the team had moved on completely to the next book.” If an author is not successful enough, the next deal may be lower than the last, less effort is made with marketing, and they may be let go. In The Bookseller report, “six authors—debut and otherwise—cited being dropped by their publisher, some with no explanation.” Even if everything goes well and an author is considered successful by others, they may experience imposter syndrome, feeling like a fraud when speaking at conferences or doing book signings. And the list goes on … All these things can lead to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and embarrassment; loss of status in the eyes of peers; and a sense of failure if a publishing career is not successful enough. The author feels like it's their fault, like they weren't good enough — although, of course, the reality is that the conditions were not right at the time. A failure of a book is not a failure of the person, but it can certainly feel like it! When you acknowledge the Shadow, it loses its power Despite all the potential negatives of traditional publishing, if you know what could happen, you can mitigate them. You can prepare yourself for various scenarios and protect yourself from potential fall-out. It's clear from The Bookseller report that too many authors have unrealistic expectations of the industry. But publishers are businesses, not charities. It's not their job to make you feel good as an author. It's their job to sell books and pay you. The best thing they can do is to continue to be a viable business so they can keep putting books on the shelves and keep paying authors, staff, and company shareholders. When you license your creative work to a publisher, you're giving up control of your intellectual property in exchange for money and status. Bring your fears and issues out of the Shadow, acknowledge them, and deal with them early, so they do not get pushed down and re-emerge later in blame and bitterness. Educate yourself on the business of publishing. Be clear on what you want to achieve with any deal. Empower yourself as an author, take responsibility for your career, and you will have a much better experience. The Shadow in self-publishing or being an indie author Self-publishing, or being an independent (indie) author, can be a fantastic, pro-active choice for getting your book into the world. Holding your first book in your hand and saying “I made this” is pretty exciting, and even after more than forty books, I still get excited about seeing ideas in my head turn into a physical product in the world. Self-publishing can give an author: Creative control over what to write, editorial and cover design choices, when and how often to publish, and how to market Empowerment over your author career and the ability to make choices that impact success without asking for permission Ownership and control of intellectual property assets, resulting in increased opportunity around licensing and new markets Independence and the potential for recurring income for the long term Autonomy and flexibility around timelines, publishing options, and the ability to easily pivot into new genres and business models Validation based on positive reader reviews and money earned Personal growth and learning through the acquisition of new skills, resulting in a boost in confidence and self-esteem A sense of belonging to an active and vibrant community of indie authors around the world Being an indie author can give you all this and more, but once again, there is a Shadow side and preparation can help you navigate potential issues. The myth of success… and the reality of experience As with traditional publishing, the indie author world has perpetuated a myth of success in the example of the breakout indie author like E.L. James with Fifty Shades of Grey, Hugh Howey with Wool, or Andy Weir with The Martian. The emphasis on financial success is also fuelled online by authors who share screenshots showing six-figure months or seven-figure years, without sharing marketing costs and other outgoings, or the amount of time spent on the business. Yes, these can inspire some, but it can also make others feel inadequate and potentially lead to bad choices about how to publish and market based on comparison. The indie author world is full of just as much ego and a desire for status and money as traditional publishing. This is not a surprise! Most authors, regardless of publishing choices, are a mix of massive ego and chronic self-doubt. We are human, so the same issues will re-occur. A different publishing method doesn't cure all ills. Some of the issues are as follows: You learn everything you need to know about writing and editing, only to find that you need to learn a whole new set of skills in order to self-publish and market your book. This can take a lot of time and effort you did not expect, and things change all the time so you have to keep learning. Being in control of every aspect of the publishing process, from writing to cover design to marketing, can be overwhelming, leading to indecision, perfectionism, stress, and even burnout as you try to do all the things. You try to find people to help, but building your team is a challenge, and working with others has its own difficulties. People say negative things about self-publishing that may arouse feelings of embarrassment or shame. These might be little niggles, but they needle you, nonetheless. You wonder whether you made the right choice. You struggle with self-doubt and if you go to an event with traditional published authors, you compare yourself to them and feel like an imposter. Are you good enough to be an author if a traditional publisher hasn't chosen you? Is it just vanity to self-publish? Are your books unworthy? Even though you worked with a professional editor, you still get one-star reviews and you hate criticism from readers. You wonder whether you're wasting your time. You might be ripped off by an author services company who promise the world, only to leave you with a pile of printed books in your garage and no way to sell them. When you finally publish your book, it languishes at the bottom of the charts while other authors hit the top of the list over and over, raking in the cash while you are left out of pocket. You don't admit to over-spending on marketing as it makes you ashamed. You resist book marketing and make critical comments about writers who embrace it. You believe that quality rises to the top and if a book is good enough, people will buy it anyway. This can lead to disappointment and disillusionment when you launch your book and it doesn't sell many copies because nobody knows about it. You try to do what everyone advises, but you still can't make decent money as an author. You're jealous of other authors' success and put it down to them ‘selling out' or writing things you can't or ‘using AI' or ‘using a ghostwriter' or having a specific business model you consider impossible to replicate. And the list goes on… When you acknowledge the Shadow, it loses its power Being in control of your books and your author career is a double-edged sword. Traditionally published authors can criticise their publishers or agents or the marketing team or the bookstores or the media, but indie authors have to take responsibility for it all. Sure, we can blame ‘the algorithms' or social media platforms, or criticise other authors for having more experience or more money to invest in marketing, or attribute their success to writing in a more popular genre — but we also know there are always people who do well regardless of the challenges. Once more, we're back to acknowledging and integrating the Shadow side of our choices. We are flawed humans. There will always be good times and bad, and difficulties to offset the high points. This too shall pass, as the old saying goes. I know that being an indie author has plenty of Shadow. I've been doing this since 2008 and despite the hard times, I'm still here. I'm still writing. I'm still publishing. This life is not for everyone, but it's my choice. You must make yours. The Shadow in work You work hard. You make a living. Nothing wrong with that attitude, right? It's what we're taught from an early age and, like so much of life, it's not a problem until it goes to extremes. Not achieving what you want to? Work harder. Can't get ahead? Work harder. Not making a good enough living? Work harder. People who don't work hard are lazy. They don't deserve handouts or benefits. People who don't work hard aren't useful, so they are not valued members of our culture and community. But what about the old or the sick, the mentally ill, or those with disabilities? What about children? What about the unemployed? The under-employed? What about those who are — or will be — displaced by technology, those called “the useless class” by historian Yuval Noah Harari in his book Homo Deus? What if we become one of these in the future? Who am I if I cannot work? The Shadow side of my attitude to work became clear when I caught COVID in the summer of 2021. I was the sickest I'd ever been. I spent two weeks in bed unable to even think properly, and six weeks after that, I was barely able to work more than an hour a day before lying in the dark and waiting for my energy to return. I was limited in what I could do for another six months after that. At times, I wondered if I would ever get better. Jonathan kept urging me to be patient and rest. But I don't know how to rest. I know how to work and how to sleep. I can do ‘active rest,' which usually involves walking a long way or traveling somewhere interesting, but those require a stronger mind and body than I had during those months. It struck me that even if I recovered from the virus, I had glimpsed my future self. One day, I will be weak in body and mind. If I'm lucky, that will be many years away and hopefully for a short time before I die — but it will happen. I am an animal. I will die. My body and mind will pass on and I will be no more. Before then I will be weak. Before then, I will be useless. Before then, I will be a burden. I will not be able to work… But who am I if I cannot work? What is the point of me? I can't answer these questions right now, because although I recognise them as part of my Shadow, I've not progressed far enough to have dealt with them entirely. My months of COVID gave me some much-needed empathy for those who cannot work, even if they want to. We need to reframe what work is as a society, and value humans for different things, especially as technology changes what work even means. That starts with each of us. “Illness, affliction of body and soul, can be life-altering. It has the potential to reveal the most fundamental conflict of the human condition: the tension between our infinite, glorious dreams and desires and our limited, vulnerable, decaying physicality.” —Connie Zweig, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul The Shadow in money In the Greek myth, King Midas was a wealthy ruler who loved gold above all else. His palace was adorned with golden sculptures and furniture, and he took immense pleasure in his riches. Yet, despite his vast wealth, he yearned for more. After doing a favour for Dionysus, the god of wine and revelry, Midas was granted a single wish. Intoxicated by greed, he wished that everything he touched would turn to gold — and it was so. At first, it was a lot of fun. Midas turned everything else in his palace to gold, even the trees and stones of his estate. After a morning of turning things to gold, he fancied a spot of lunch. But when he tried to eat, the food and drink turned to gold in his mouth. He became thirsty and hungry — and increasingly desperate. As he sat in despair on his golden throne, his beloved young daughter ran to comfort him. For a moment, he forgot his wish — and as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek, she turned into a golden statue, frozen in precious metal. King Midas cried out to the gods to forgive him, to reverse the wish. He renounced his greed and gave away all his wealth, and his daughter was returned to life. The moral of the story: Wealth and greed are bad. In Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge is described as a “squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner.” He's wealthy but does not share, considering Christmas spending to be frivolous and giving to charity to be worthless. He's saved by a confrontation with his lonely future and becomes a generous man and benefactor of the poor. Wealth is good if you share it with others. The gospel of Matthew, chapter 25: 14-30, tells the parable of the bags of gold, in which a rich man goes on a journey and entrusts his servants with varying amounts of gold. On his return, the servants who multiplied the gold through their efforts and investments are rewarded, while the one who merely returned the gold with no interest is punished: “For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.” Making money is good, making more money is even better. If you can't make any money, you don't deserve to have any. Within the same gospel, in Matthew 19:24, Jesus encounters a wealthy man and tells him to sell all his possessions and give the money to the poor, which the man is unable to do. Jesus says, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Wealth is bad. Give it all away and you'll go to heaven. With all these contradictory messages, no wonder we're so conflicted about money! How do you think and feel about money? While money is mostly tied to our work, it's far more than just a transactional object for most people. It's loaded with complex symbolism and judgment handed down by family, religion, and culture. You are likely to find elements of Shadow by examining your attitudes around money. Consider which of the following statements resonate with you or write your own. Money stresses me out. I don't want to talk about it or think about it. Some people hoard money, so there is inequality. Rich people are bad and we should take away their wealth and give it to the poor.  I can never make enough money to pay the bills, or to give my family what I want to provide. Money doesn't grow on trees.  It's wasteful to spend money as you might need it later, so I'm frugal and don't spend money unless absolutely necessary. It is better and more ethical to be poor than to be rich. I want more money. I read books and watch TV shows about rich people because I want to live like that. Sometimes I spend too much on things for a glimpse of what that might be like.  I buy lottery tickets and dream of winning all that money.  I'm jealous of people who have money. I want more of it and I resent those who have it. I'm no good with money. I don't like to look at my bank statement or credit card statement. I live off my overdraft and I'm in debt. I will never earn enough to get out of debt and start saving, so I don't think too much about it. I don't know enough about money. Talking about it makes me feel stupid, so I just ignore it. People like me aren't educated about money.  I need to make more money. If I can make lots of money, then people will look up to me. If I make lots of money, I will be secure, nothing can touch me, I will be safe.  I never want to be poor. I would be ashamed to be poor. I will never go on benefits. My net worth is my self worth. Money is good. We have the best standard of living in history because of the increase in wealth over time. Even the richest kings of the past didn't have what many middle-class people have today in terms of access to food, water, technology, healthcare, education, and more. The richest people give the most money to the poor through taxation and charity, as well as through building companies that employ people and invent new things. The very richest give away much of their fortunes. They provide far more benefit to the world than the poor.  I love money. Money loves me. Money comes easily and quickly to me. I attract money in multiple streams of income. It flows to me in so many ways. I spend money. I invest money. I give money. I'm happy and grateful for all that I receive. The Shadow around money for authors in particular Many writers and other creatives have issues around money and wealth. How often have you heard the following, and which do you agree with? You can't make money with your writing. You'll be a poor author in a garret, a starving artist.  You can't write ‘good quality' books and make money. If you make money writing, you're a hack, you're selling out. You are less worthy than someone who writes only for the Muse. Your books are commercial, not artistic. If you spend money on marketing, then your books are clearly not good enough to sell on their own. My agent / publisher / accountant / partner deals with the money side. I like to focus on the creative side of things. My money story Note: This is not financial or investment advice. Please talk to a professional about your situation. I've had money issues over the years — haven't we all! But I have been through a (long) process to bring money out of my Shadow and into the light. There will always be more to discover, but hopefully my money story will help you, or at least give you an opportunity to reflect. Like most people, I didn't grow up with a lot of money. My parents started out as teachers, but later my mum — who I lived with, along with my brother — became a change management consultant, moving to the USA and earning a lot more. I'm grateful that she moved into business because her example changed the way I saw money and provided some valuable lessons. (1) You can change your circumstances by learning more and then applying that to leverage opportunity into a new job or career Mum taught English at a school in Bristol when we moved back from Malawi, Africa, in the mid '80s but I remember how stressful it was for her, and how little money she made. She wanted a better future for us all, so she took a year out to do a master's degree in management. In the same way, when I wanted to change careers and leave consulting to become an author, I spent time and money learning about the writing craft and the business of publishing. I still invest a considerable chunk on continuous learning, as this industry changes all the time. (2) You might have to downsize in order to leap forward The year my mum did her degree, we lived in the attic of another family's house; we ate a lot of one-pot casserole and our treat was having a Yorkie bar on the walk back from the museum. We wore hand-me-down clothes, and I remember one day at school when another girl said I was wearing her dress. I denied it, of course, but there in back of the dress was her name tag. I still remember her name and I can still feel that flush of shame and embarrassment. I was determined to never feel like that again. But what I didn't realize at the time was that I was also learning the power of downsizing. Mum got her degree and then a new job in management in Bristol. She bought a house, and we settled for a few years. I had lots of different jobs as a teenager. My favourite was working in the delicatessen because we got a free lunch made from delicious produce. After I finished A-levels, I went to the University of Oxford, and my mum and brother moved to the USA for further opportunities. I've downsized multiple times over the years, taking a step back in order to take a step forward. The biggest was in 2010 when I decided to leave consulting. Jonathan and I sold our three-bedroom house and investments in Brisbane, Australia, and rented a one-bedroom flat in London, so we could be debt-free and live on less while I built up a new career. It was a decade before we bought another house. (3) Comparison can be deadly: there will always be people with more money than you Oxford was an education in many ways and relevant to this chapter is how much I didn't know about things people with money took for granted. I learned about formal hall and wine pairings, and how to make a perfect gin and tonic. I ate smoked salmon for the first time. I learned how to fit in with people who had a lot more money than I did, and I definitely wanted to have money of my own to play with. (4) Income is not wealth You can earn lots but have nothing to show for it after years of working. I learned this in my first few years of IT consulting after university. I earned a great salary and then went contracting, earning even more money at a daily rate. I had a wonderful time. I traveled, ate and drank and generally made merry, but I always had to go back to the day job when the money ran out. I couldn't work out how I could ever stop this cycle. Then I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, a book I still recommend, especially if you're from a family that values academic over financial education. I learned how to escape the rat race by building and/or accumulating assets that pay even when you're not working. It was a revelation! The ‘poor dad' in the book is a university professor. He knows so much about so many things, but he ends up poor as he did not educate himself about money. The ‘rich dad' has little formal education, but he knows about money and wealth because he learned about it, as we can do at any stage in our lives. (5) Not all investments suit every person, so find the right one for you Once I discovered the world of investing, I read all the books and did courses and in-person events. I joined communities and I up-skilled big time. Of course, I made mistakes and learned lots along the way. I tried property investing and renovated a couple of houses for rental (with more practical partners and skilled contractors). But while I could see that property investing might work for some people, I did not care enough about the details to make it work for me, and it was certainly not passive income. I tried other things. My first husband was a boat skipper and scuba diving instructor, so we started a charter. With the variable costs of fuel, the vagaries of New Zealand weather — and our divorce — it didn't last long! From all these experiments, I learned I wanted to run a business, but it needed to be online and not based on a physical location, physical premises, or other people. That was 2006, around the time that blogging started taking off and it became possible to make a living online. I could see the potential and a year later, the iPhone and the Amazon Kindle launched, which became the basis of my business as an author. (6) Boring, automatic saving and investing works best Between 2007 and 2011, I contracted in Australia, where they have compulsory superannuation contributions, meaning you have to save and invest a percentage of your salary or self-employed income. I'd never done that before, because I didn't understand it. I'd ploughed all my excess income into property or the business instead. But in Australia I didn't notice the money going out because it was automatic. I chose a particular fund and it auto-invested every month. The pot grew pretty fast since I didn't touch it, and years later, it's still growing. I discovered the power of compound interest and time in the market, both of which are super boring. This type of investing is not a get rich quick scheme. It's a slow process of automatically putting money into boring investments and doing that month in, month out, year in, year out, automatically for decades while you get on with your life. I still do this. I earn money as an author entrepreneur and I put a percentage of that into boring investments automatically every month. I also have a small amount which is for fun and higher risk investments, but mostly I'm a conservative, risk-averse investor planning ahead for the future. This is not financial advice, so I'm not giving any specifics. I have a list of recommended money books at www.TheCreativePenn.com/moneybooks if you want to learn more. Learning from the Shadow When I look back, my Shadow side around money eventually drove me to learn more and resulted in a better outcome (so far!). I was ashamed of being poor when I had to wear hand-me-down clothes at school. That drove a fear of not having any money, which partially explains my workaholism. I was embarrassed at Oxford because I didn't know how to behave in certain settings, and I wanted to be like the rich people I saw there. I spent too much money in my early years as a consultant because I wanted to experience a “rich” life and didn't understand saving and investing would lead to better things in the future. I invested too much in the wrong things because I didn't know myself well enough and I was trying to get rich quick so I could leave my job and ‘be happy.' But eventually, I discovered that I could grow my net worth with boring, long-term investments while doing a job I loved as an author entrepreneur. My only regret is that I didn't discover this earlier and put a percentage of my income into investments as soon as I started work. It took several decades to get started, but at least I did (eventually) start. My money story isn't over yet, and I keep learning new things, but hopefully my experience will help you reflect on your own and avoid the issue if it's still in Shadow. These chapters are excerpted from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words by Joanna Penn  The post Writing The Shadow: The Creative Wound, Publishing, And Money, With Joanna Penn first appeared on The Creative Penn.

Columbus police confirmed this week that the Tepe murders were a targeted domestic violence attack. Dr. Michael McKee, a vascular surgeon with no criminal history, allegedly killed his ex-wife Monique and her husband Spencer eight years after their divorce was finalized.No documented threats. No protection orders. Nothing on paper. Just a man who, according to behavioral experts, may have spent nearly a decade collecting wounds and assigning blame — waiting for the moment to act.Robin Dreeke is a former FBI Special Agent who ran the Bureau's Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. He's an expert on identifying dangerous personalities before they become dangerous. Today he joins us to analyze the McKee case through a behavioral lens.We cover: What defines a "wound collector" versus someone who simply holds a grudge. How professional success can mask violent resentment. The psychology of blame — how wound collectors convince themselves they're the victim. What role the June 2025 court activity might have played as a trigger. Why watching an ex-spouse's public happiness can accelerate the spiral. McKee's courtroom demeanor — what confidence and apparent satisfaction might indicate. And whether there are behavioral red flags that could have been spotted earlier.McKee maintains his innocence and plans to plead not guilty to two counts of premeditated aggravated murder — death penalty eligible in Ohio.Two children are now orphans. Understanding why this happened won't change that. But it might save someone else.#TrueCrimeToday #WoundCollector #MichaelMcKee #TeepeMurders #RobinDreeke #FBIAnalysis #BehavioralPsychology #SpencerTepe #MoniqueTepe #TrueCrimeNewsJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

Monique Tepe left her first husband after seven months of marriage. She didn't fight. She didn't make a scene. She just got out. She rebuilt her life, married Spencer Tepe, had two children, and thought the nightmare was behind her.Eight years later, according to police, Dr. Michael McKee allegedly drove hundreds of miles in the middle of the night and killed both Monique and Spencer in their Columbus home. Their children were asleep down the hall.Why would someone wait eight years to act? How does a successful vascular surgeon with no criminal record become an alleged killer?Robin Dreeke, former FBI Special Agent and head of the FBI's Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program, says McKee fits the profile of a "wound collector" — someone who never forgives, never forgets, and carries perceived injuries like open wounds for years until something triggers them to act.In this interview, Robin explains: The difference between hurt and obsession. How wound collectors justify violence by making themselves the victim. Why professional success can mask dangerous resentment. What role social media and watching an ex's happiness plays in the spiral. What might have triggered McKee after eight years of silence. And whether there are warning signs that can be spotted before it's too late.McKee maintains his innocence and plans to plead not guilty to two counts of premeditated aggravated murder.This conversation won't bring Spencer and Monique back. But it might help someone recognize the danger before the next wound collector acts.#HiddenKillers #WoundCollector #MichaelMcKee #TeepeMurders #RobinDreeke #FBIBehavioral #TrueCrimePodcast #MoniqueTepe #SpencerTepe #PsychologyOfKillersJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

Join us live as former FBI Special Agent Robin Dreeke breaks down the psychology behind the Tepe murders and explains what makes a "wound collector" tick.Dr. Michael McKee allegedly waited eight years after his divorce from Monique Tepe to act. Eight years of silence. No criminal record. No documented threats. Just a successful career as a vascular surgeon — and, according to investigators, a grievance he never let go.Robin Dreeke ran the FBI's Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. He's spent decades studying how people think, how they deceive, and how dangerous personalities hide in plain sight until they don't.Tonight we're asking the hard questions: What is a wound collector and how do they differ from someone who simply holds a grudge? How does a high-functioning professional mask this kind of resentment? What triggers someone to finally act after years of dormancy? How do wound collectors flip the script and convince themselves they're the victim? And can these people be identified before they become dangerous?Drop your questions in the chat — we'll get to as many as we can.McKee maintains his innocence and plans to plead not guilty to two counts of premeditated aggravated murder. Spencer and Monique Tepe leave behind two young children.Understanding the psychology won't undo what happened. But it might help someone watching tonight recognize the signs in their own life.#HiddenKillersLive #WoundCollector #RobinDreeke #TeepeMurders #MichaelMcKee #FBIExpert #LiveStream #TrueCrimeLive #BehavioralAnalysis #DomesticViolenceJoin Our SubStack For AD-FREE ADVANCE EPISODES & EXTRAS!: https://hiddenkillers.substack.com/Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspodInstagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspodX Twitter https://x.com/tonybpodListen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872This publication contains commentary and opinion based on publicly available information. All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Nothing published here should be taken as a statement of fact, health or legal advice.

In this episode of the PFC Podcast, Dennis speaks with Rima, a combat medic in Ukraine, about the critical aspects of unit safety, tactical training, and the challenges faced in medical evacuations during an active war zone. Rima shares insights on the importance of personnel over equipment, the necessity of telemedicine, and the realities of training medics under resource constraints. The conversation also delves into wound management, infection control, and the unique challenges posed by winter conditions in the field.TakeawaysThe priority in combat medicine is personnel over equipment.Training for medics is often condensed due to active war conditions.Telemedicine plays a crucial role in providing care in remote areas.Wound management and infection control are critical in combat situations.Adapting to resource limitations is essential for effective medical care.Basic skills in combat medicine can save lives more than advanced techniques.The drone threat complicates medical evacuations significantly.Improvisation is key when standard resources are unavailable.Understanding the basics of medicine is vital for effective care.Every situation in combat medicine requires quick and adaptable responses.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Combat Medicine in Ukraine02:57 Unit Safety and Tactical Training06:00 Challenges of Medical Evacuations08:47 Training Medics in Active War Zones12:02 Telemedicine in Combat Situations14:57 Wound Management and Infection Control17:55 Prioritizing Gear and Equipment21:10 Adapting to Resource Limitations23:46 Winter Challenges in Hemorrhage Control27:01 Concluding Thoughts on Tactical Medicine For more content go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.prolongedfieldcare.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Consider supporting us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/ProlongedFieldCareCollective⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lobocoffeeco.com/product-page/prolonged-field-care

What if your discomfort with leadership isn't a confidence issue — but an old nervous-system story that's never been updated?In this solo episode, Anna explores the concept of a leadership wound: early experiences that quietly shape how safe (or unsafe) it feels to step into leadership later in life.Drawing from a personal story from fourth grade — when stepping into a natural leadership role suddenly became fraught — Anna unpacks how childhood interpretations can linger beneath the surface, influencing our relationship with visibility, authority, and being seen.You'll hear:Why leadership can trigger fear even when it feels alignedHow childhood experiences shape our nervous system's response to leadershipThe difference between a visibility wound and a leadership woundHow old stories can run quietly in the background until we name themGentle ways to begin updating these stories with adult awareness and compassionAnna also invites listeners to reflect on their own relationship with leadership — and offers journaling prompts to help process early experiences that may still be shaping how you show up today.If you're a sensitive creative, entrepreneur, or leader who feels a pull toward leadership and a simultaneous urge to shrink back, this episode offers a compassionate lens for understanding why — and a softer way forward.Work With AnnaIf you want to explore visibility, leadership, and nervous-system safety in community, Anna's membership Seen & Safe is currently open for enrollment.Seen & Safe is a twice-monthly group for sensitive creatives, entrepreneurs, and leaders who want to practice being seen without overriding their nervous system.Learn more or join here:

A Classic RISK! episode from our early years that first ran in October of 2013, when Stephanie Douglass, Shannon Cason, Lily Be and Jim Padar were at our very first show in that toddlin' town.

What is the witch wound and what exactly is it's impact on planet earth right now? Almost anyone that is an empath, a healer, a teacher, a coach, etc., most likely has this wound It is ancestral and very much a past life wounding that will follow you until you can heal it - embrace it - love and forgive and move beyond! If you struggle with money, shutting down your intuition, health issues of all kinds, especially below the heart chakra and also any kind of throat disease....it is very likely this is a wound you get to look at to find lasting change and results to living your best health and wealth and wisdom! Tune in today for this short definition and future events I am offering to help heal this! FIND OUT MORE ABOUT MAGDALENA GRACE HERE or TO SIGN UP FOR HER UPCOMING SOUL LIBERATION WORK & HEALTH AND WEALTH AND RELATIONSHIP FOCUSED RETREATS BOOK A RUNES READING & MORE! www.MagdalenaGrace.com JOIN HER ONLINE WITCHY WOMB-AN'S CIRCLE FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH www.MagdalenaGrace.com BOOK A FREE CONSULT - EMAIL HER AT Info@MagdalenaGrace.com JOIN OUR HEALTHY N WEALTHY N WISE ONLINE ACADEMY www.microdosingforhealth.com BUY ME A COFFEE OR DONATE FOR SCHOLARSHIP FUND FOR HEALING CLIENTS IN NEED https://venmo.com/u/lotusthrone MORE ALCHEMY OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOUR BEST HEALTH, WEALTH AND RELATIONSHIPS www.SanDiegoKambo.com www.LotusThroneSanctuary.com    

Where Are You Still Waiting for Permission in Your Life?

A federal agent shot and wounded a man in north Minneapolis Wednesday night, sparking protests that led to agents deploying tear gas. City officials say the man was shot after a vehicle chase and an apparent struggle with a federal agent near 24th and Lyndale Avenue North.Federal officials say the man and two other people assaulted a federal agent. The man was shot in the leg. The Department of Homeland Security says the wounded man and a federal agent were hospitalized with what are believed to be non-life-threatening injuries.All four Democrats representing Minnesota in the U.S. House have joined a call to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem. They are among 70 lawmakers who have signed on to articles of impeachment introduced Wednesday by Illinois Democrat Robin Kelly.

To Disconnect from Source Is the Ultimate Pain - Until I Realize...I Am SourceThis text-based class is the fifth in a series on the Maamar (discourse) Basi Legani, presented by the Lubavitcher Rebbe at the Farbrengen of 10 Shvat 5726, January 31, 1966. This class was presented on Thursday, 26 Teves, 5786, January 15, 2026, Parshas Vaera, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.View Source Sheets: https://portal.theyeshiva.net/api/source-sheets/9845

In today's episode, I'm opening up a brand-new series that I felt deeply called to create, Healing the Roots of Attachment. We're starting with the mother wound and how early caregiving experiences shape your attachment style, your nervous system, and the way you show up in romantic relationships. If you've ever noticed yourself spiraling in dating, pulling away when things get close, or repeating painful relationship cycles, this conversation will help you understand why and more importantly, remind you that these patterns are not permanent. This episode is about awareness, compassion, and reconnecting to the part of you that deserves safety, attunement, and secure love.Inside the EpisodeHow the mother wound forms and how emotional attunement, comfort, delight, and repair shape your internal working model of loveThe connection between the mother wound and anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles in adult relationshipsWhy self-soothing, self-compassion, and emotional regulation are learned and how these patterns can be rewired through healing and supportThis episode is Part 1 of a 3-part series. In the next episode, we'll explore the Father wound and how it influences attraction, safety, and self-worth. In Part 3, we'll bring it all together with inner child healing and the path to becoming securely attached.

Today we're continuing The Energy Is Everything Series with a conversation that hits a nerve for so many high-achieving women: visibility, identity, and the energetic cost of hiding.I'm joined by Renee Bowen — photographer, trauma-informed coach, and the kind of woman who makes you feel seen just by being in the room with her. We talk about what it really means to be “seen” (and why that can feel terrifying), how motherhood can blur your identity until you can't find yourself anymore, and how neutrality is the bridge between being reactive and becoming sovereign.This episode is for the woman who feels exhausted not because she's doing too much… but because she's doing too much of what isn't true.TOPICS WE EXPLORE:• Why “not being seen” is one of the biggest energy leaks• The visibility wound: where it starts and how it shows up• Identity outside of motherhood, roles, and performance• The cost of living for the male gaze (and how to unwind it)• How anxiety, trauma, and nervous system dysregulation shape your choices• Being called “selfish” when you stop martyring yourself• What it means to get neutral — and why it changes everything• Removing sensory charge (sound/color/story) to access objectivity• Social media as energetic input (and how fast it drains you)• Reclaiming self-trust without outsourcing your healingPOINT OF THE EPISODE:When you're hiding (even subtly, even “for good reasons”) you're leaking energy. Healing the visibility wound isn't about being louder online… it's about becoming safe enough in your body to be honest, to take up space, and to live as you without needing permission.MENTIONED:• Renee's website• Renee on Instagram• Renee's podcast: Tried and True with a Dash of Woo• Free hypnosis for anxiety If this episode lit something up inside you, if you felt called out, softened, or seen...  that's not random. That's your body telling the truth. And this series is your invitation to listen.Are you loving it? Send Ash a text! MORE ABOUT ASHI am the definition of duality — I swear like a sailor and break rules like it's my job, but I also hold incredible space for my clients and work my ass off to help them achieve the success they're after. But I'm also here for the non-preneur woman, too. My background in counseling gives me a unique perspective on what it means to show up, serve, & create connection for those who feel like they've never belonged before. LINKS: Become the Regulated Woman Get emails that feel like your best friend (if your best friend was a therapist and actually told you the truth). Use code BB20 to get The Burnout Breakthrough for only $7 Follow me on IG (dropping in once a quarter for updates & gossip) Website: ashmcdonaldmentoring.com Work with me 1:1 Therapeutic Mentorship Business Therapy (therapy + strategic mentorship) ...

This is part 1 of a 5 part series brought to us by Dr. Victor-LaMonte Lane.

My guest today is Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents.You probably saw Dr. Gibson everywhere in 2025...even on Oprah...but LET THE RECORD SHOW: you heard her here first!This interview originally aired in March 2023, and I'm bringing it back because her work continues to resonate deeply with adults with ADHD.In this episode, we explore why so many ADHD adults grew up feeling physically cared for—but emotionally alone. This is not a parent-shaming conversation. It's about clarity, compassion, and naming invisible dynamics so you can stop blaming yourself for struggles that were never yours to fix.What You'll LearnWhy emotional loneliness is a defining experience for many adult childrenWhat “emotional immaturity” actually looks like in parentsHow people-pleasing, caretaking, and guilt develop as survival strategiesWhy setting boundaries often triggers backlash—and how to respondHow guilt can be a sign of emotional coercion, not wrongdoingWhat it means to emotionally disengage and reclaim space for yourselfIf you've ever felt like you're the problem in your family, struggled with guilt around boundaries, or exhausted yourself managing other people's emotions—this episode is for you.Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — Dr. Lindsay GibsonRecovering from Emotionally Immature Parents — Dr. Lindsay Gibsondrlindsaygibson.comWatch this episode on YouTubeWant help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTokSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, we explore the evolving meaning of home, relationships, and personal alignment. Shayna shares the raw realities of traveling and living abroad with a young child, navigating postpartum challenges, redefining home after a lifetime of not feeling rooted, and learning what truly supports her family's energy. Together, we reflect on how relationships, family dynamics, and different environments shape our sense of safety, belonging, and embodiment—especially during times of global uncertainty and personal transformation. This episode is an honest reminder that clarity often comes through lived experience, trial and error, and honoring your inner authority.   Also—there's still time to sign up for our Palm Springs Retreat taking place February 4–8! We are so excited to see everyone's names rolling in and can't wait to gather this incredible group for an in-person advanced training retreat. Tickets close January 14th at midnight PST—click the link below to secure your spot!   Key Takeaways: Why home isn't just a place—it's an energetic experience, and how true alignment comes from feeling safe, supported, and embodied within your physical space, your body, and your relationships. How relationships evolve as individuals evolve, and why relationship dynamics must adapt and find support in order to grow alongside personal transformation. How having children creates an entirely new energetic structure (a Penta), transforming how each person experiences themselves and one another within the family unit. Why trial and error is essential—especially if you have a 3/5 profile, and why some lessons can only be learned through lived experience, experimentation, and perspective shifts. Why the digital nomad dream isn't one-size-fits-all, and the key factors to consider before relocating abroad. Why conscious, in-person connection is medicine, especially during times of collective upheaval and isolation, and how prioritizing embodied connection through community, retreats, and shared space supports healing and resilience. DayLuna: Palm Springs Advanced Human Design Training Retreat Tickets close January 14th at midnight PST! 64 Gates & Gene Keys Mastery Course FREE Transits & The Harmonic Gate Mini-Course FREE Human Design Readings 101 Masterclass Book a Reading With Us Here! EXPLORE LUNYA Use code: DAYLUNA for 15% off Human Design Chart Software: BodygraphChart.com Use code: DAYLUNA for 50% off your first 12 months!   Get our book: Your Human Design! Online Human Design Reader Training Digital Products & Video Courses daylunalife.com Instagram: @‌d.a.y.l.u.n.a

Have you been feeling emotionally raw, like something old and painful is surfacing again — just when you thought you'd moved on?You're not alone.Right now, Chiron — the asteroid of the sacred wound — is being activated by Mars, Venus, Mercury, and the Sun, and the result is... personal. Deep. Transformational.In this episode, I unpack:✨ What Chiron really is (and why it still hurts)

Guest: Ronald White. Returning to duty, Chamberlain led a frontal assault at Petersburg in 1864, where he suffered a catastrophic wound through the hips that surgeons deemed fatal. Believing he was dying, he wrote a farewell letter to Fanny, yet miraculously survived due to his brother Tom's help and sheer will. Later, at the Battle of Five Forks, he defended General Warren against General Sheridan's dismissal. At the war's end, Chamberlain was selected to receive the Confederate surrender at Appomattox. In a controversial but defining gesture, he ordered a marching salute to honor the courage of the defeated Southern soldiers.1863 GETTYSBURG

Dr. Shahrzad Jalali is a licensed clinical psychologist, executive coach, and trauma specialist whose work bridges neuroscience, somatic psychology, and mindfulness. She is the author of The Fire That Makes Us (Greenleaf Book Group, Sept 2025), which reframes emotional pain as fuel for transformation, and the creator of Regulate to Rise™, an eight-module program for emotional regulation and resilience. As founder of Align Remedy and Dr. Jalali & Associates, she and her team help clients move beyond coping toward meaningful change using EMDR, somatic experiencing, brainspotting, and Jungian dream work. With a multicultural lens and a rare gift for making mental health deeply human, Dr. Jalali guides high-achievers, women in transition, and trauma survivors from survival to expansion.In This EpisodeShahrzad's websiteShahrzad's book: The Fire That Makes Us LinkedinInstagramTikTokBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa———If you'd like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.Thank you to our Sponsors:Jane App - use code GUY1MO at https://jane.appArizona Trauma Institute at https://aztrauma.org/

Mens Room Question: On a scale of 1-10, What's The Worst Pain You've Experienced?

To Be a Real Student is Most Amazing. But If You Are the Rebbe?This text-based class is the third in a series on the Maamar (discourse) Basi Legani, presented by the Lubavitcher Rebbe at the Farbrengen of 10 Shvat 5726, January 31, 1966. This class was presented on Friday, 20 Teves, 5786, January 9, 2026, Parshas Shemos, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.View Source Sheets: https://portal.theyeshiva.net/api/source-sheets/9843

AP correspondent Donna Warder reports on the shooting of two people by federal immigration agents in Portland, Oregon.

Winter has a way of making us shrink. You dim your light, edit your words, make yourself smaller so you're easier to swallow.But what if that heaviness you're feeling? That's not truth. That's the witch wound, quietly running the show.In this first episode of 2026, we're talking about how the witch wound shows up when everything feels gray and heavy. Why visibility feels scary. Why being "too much" feels dangerous. And how tarot (yes, tarot) can help you see what you've been hiding from yourself.I'm walking you through six tarot cards that speak directly to the witch wound - the High Priestess, the Empress, Strength, the Tower, the Moon, and the Star. Plus, I'm giving you a full tarot spread you can use right now, even if you've never pulled a card in your life. Use it as journal prompts or to get honest with yourself.This isn't about healing the witch wound once and moving on. It's cyclical, like everything we do. You tend to it, you come back to it and you keep mending.And honestly? Doing it in community makes all the difference.If you've been feeling stuck, muted, or afraid to say what you really want this year, this episode is for you.✨ GRAB THE TAROT SPREAD: Scroll down for the full 5-card spread breakdown. Perfect for journaling or pulling cards.

What makes good theology cruel? In this episode of Light + Truth, John Piper opens Job 4:1–5:27 to show that truth without tenderness distorts both God and grief.

TWiM explains how S. aureus pathogenicity is a dynamic, niche-specific choreography that constantly recalibrates in response to the host microenvironment, and short chain fatty acids produced by commensal microbiota reduces its competitive fitness. Become a patron of TWiM. Links for this episode: Niche-specific fitness of S. aureus at the wound edge (Nat Comm) Commensal derived short chain fatty acids attenuate S. aureus (mBio) Ditch the term pathogen (Nature) Music used on TWiM is composed and performed by Ronald Jenkees and used with permission. Send your microbiology questions and comments to twim@microbe.tv  

Developmental Abandonment Wound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Louisiana Tech Hall of Fame Quarterback Luke McCown loves coming back to Ruston. He also LOVES his family. Wound tightly to his faith, McCown shares the story of how he and his wife first met at Tech, broadcasting Bulldog football, and a fruitful life as a career backup in the National Football League.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Michael Carr's story challenges us: Are we truly living, or just surviving our own success?Michael achieved everything he thought he wanted: fashion design success, recognition, the lifestyle of his dreams. Then at 35, it all crashed. Business partnership dissolved. Apartment gone. Friends vanished. But this devastating breakdown became his breakthrough. Growing up on a North Carolina tobacco farm, Michael spent decades proving his worth while crippling anxiety shadowed his success. "Everything I ever wanted came true," he reveals. "And that's when everything broke down." Through his Vis-Ability Alignment Method, Michael now helps others dissolve unconscious patterns in days rather than decades. Stop managing triggers. Start releasing them. The difference? Freedom. Michael Carr—The Mind Alchemist—helps people discover and dissolve the unconscious patterns keeping them stuck, anxious, and disconnected. After nearly four decades managing teams of over 570 people in high-pressure environments, Michael appeared successful on the outside while battling crippling anxiety within. His breakthrough came from releasing—not managing—the hidden beliefs driving his resistance. Through his signature Vis-Ability Alignment Method, Michael guides clients to transform inner resistance into clarity and authentic connection in days rather than decades. He lives in California and offers transformational coaching at michaelcarrcoaching.com.About The Show: The Life in Transition, hosted by Art Blanchford focuses on making the most of the changes we're given every week. Art has been through hundreds of transitions in his life. Many have been difficult, but all have led to a depth and richness he could never have imagined. On the podcast Art explores how to create more love and joy in life, no matter what transitions we go through. Art is married to his lifelong partner, a proud father of three and a long-time adventurer and global business executive. He is the founder and leader of the Midlife Transition Mastery Community. Learn more about the MLTM Community here: www.lifeintransition.online.In This Episode: (00:00) The Breaking Point: Success and Collapse(03:27) From Tobacco Farm to Fashion Designer(10:25) The Abandoned Child: Origin of the Wound(20:42) Anxiety Beneath the Achievements(37:13) MidLife Transition Mastery Ad(36:16) The Fashion Industry and Creative Loss(58:43) Releasing Triggers vs. Managing Them(1:02:27) Authentic Strength Ad(1:11:44) The Vis-Ability Alignment Method(1:24:11) Practical Tools: Journaling and ConnectionLike, subscribe, and send us your comments and feedback.Resources:Website: https://www.michaelcarrcoaching.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelcarrcoachingFree 45-minute Breakthrough Session: Available via website booking linkCoaching Method: The Vis-Ability Alignment MethodEmail Art BlanchfordLife in Transition WebsiteLife in Transition on IGLife in Transition on FBJoin Our Community: https://www.lifeintransition.online/My new book PURPOSEFUL LIVING is out now. Order it now: https://www.amazon.com/PURPOSEFUL-LIVING-Wisdom-Coming-Complex/dp/1963913922Explore our website https://lifeintransitionpodcast.com/ for more in-depth information and resources, and to download the 8-step guide to mastering mid-life transitions.The views and opinions expressed on the Life In Transition podcast are solely those of the author and guests and should not be attributed to any other individual or entity. This podcast is an independent production of Life In Transition Podcast, and the podcast production is an original work of the author. All rights of ownership and reproduction are retained—copyright 2025.

Wed, Dec 31, 2025 11:36 PM → Thu, Jan 1, 2026 12:06 AM CMPD Steele Creek Division Gun Shot Wound Hampton Inn Suites Parking Lot 6220 Caden Rd Charlotte NC 28278 Radio Systems: - Charlotte - Mecklenburg UASI

Are your boundaries too soft… or too strict?Most women fall into one of two extremes:They either give too much and lose themselves…Or push everyone away to protect themselves.But underneath both?The same root wound:“I'm not worthy of love as I am.”In this episode, I break down the subconscious patterns that drive both over-giving and over-protecting, how they stem from childhood beliefs, and why true self-worth isn't found in how much you do—or how tightly you guard yourself.If you've ever felt like you're doing all the work in relationships or feel safer alone than letting someone in… this one is for you.

Resources:American Physical Therapy Association (APTA)APTA Specialist CertificationAcademy of Clinical Electrophysiology and Wound ManagementAmerican Board of Wound Management (ABWM)  About the SpeakerRenee Cordrey, PT, PhD, MSPT, MPH, CWS, FAAWC, found her wound care passion while a physical therapist student. Since then, she has become board certified in wound care and focused her career on that specialty. She has worked in acute care, long term care, outpatient wound clinics, and academia. She is currently a physical therapist with Enhabit Home Health.She has been very active within the wound care community throughout her career, having served four terms on the Board of Directors of the Association for the Advancement of Wound Care (AAWC) and in various roles with the American Physical Therapy Association (APTA), the Wound, Ostomy, and Continence Nurses Society™ (WOCN®), the American Board of Wound Management (ABWM), the Alliance of Wound Care Stakeholders, and Health Volunteers Overseas. She was honored with the Distinguished Member award from the AAWC and was included in the inaugural cohort of AAWC Fellows. She has also earned a Masters in Public Health, concentrating on health promotion and health education and completed her PhD examining how stress and locus of control interact with chronic wound healing. She has over 125 presentations and publications on wound-related topics.

Hear award-winning columnist Dejan Kovacevic's Daily Shots of Steelers, Penguins and Pirates -- three separate podcasts -- every weekday morning on the DK Pittsburgh Sports podcasting network, available on all platforms: https://linktr.ee/dkpghsports Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Wed, Dec 24 3:16 AM → 3:46 AM CMPD Independence Division Gun Shot Wound 7148 Sycamore Grove Ct Charlotte NC Radio Systems: - Charlotte UASI Region

Mike Mulligan and David Haugh continued to discuss the top sports stories of the day in the Pick 6 segment.

Brett and Christina host an OG episode. Christina talks about her upcoming spinal surgery and navigating insurance hassles. Brett talks about his sleep issues, project progress, and coding routines. They dive into the complexities of USB-C cables, from volts to data rates. And TV’s just ‘okay’ now, except for some softcore gay porn. Kagi search saves the day. Happy holidays — and get some sleep. Sponsor Copilot Money can help you take control of your finances. Get a fresh start with your money for 2026 with 26% off when you visit try.copilot.money/overtired and use code OVERTIRED. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all eCommerce in the US, from household names like Mattel and Gymshark, to brands just getting started. Get started today at shopify.com/overtired. Show Links CaberQu BLE cable tester Umami Analytics Plausible Analytics Kagi The Comfortable Problem of Mid TV – The New York Times Fallout Heated Rivalry (TV Series 2025– ) – IMDb Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Greetings 00:40 Christina’s Health Update 05:05 Brett’s Sleep and Work Routine 12:19 USB-C Cable Confusion 22:03 Sponsor Break: Shopify 24:26 Sponsor Break: Copilot Money 26:57 Exploring Rocket Money and Web Interfaces 27:21 Discovering Umami Analytics 28:06 Nostalgia for Mint and Fever 28:44 The Decline of RSS and Google Reader 31:45 Switching to Kagi Search Engine 32:33 The Rise of AI-Generated Content 40:46 TV Shows: Is TV Just Okay Now? 47:24 The Cultural Phenomenon of Heated Rivalry 52:50 Wrapping Up and Holiday Wishes Join the Conversation Merch Come chat on Discord! Twitter/ovrtrd Instagram/ovrtrd Youtube Get the Newsletter Thanks! You’re downloading today’s show from CacheFly’s network BackBeat Media Podcast Network Check out more episodes at overtiredpod.com and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. Find Brett as @ttscoff, Christina as @film_girl, Jeff as @jsguntzel, and follow Overtired at @ovrtrd on Twitter. Transcript Universal Serial Bitching Introduction and Greetings [00:00:00] Brett: Hey, you’re listening to Overtired. I am Brett Terpstra, and it’s just me and Christina Warren this morning. How you doing, Christina? Christina: Doing pretty good. Doing pretty good. Yeah. This is the, this is the OG Overtired configuration. Brett: right back to basics. Um, Christina: We do miss you Jeff, though. Ho, ho, ho. Hope that Jeff is having a great holiday with his family. Brett: we’ll have to have some, uh, gratuitous Wiki K hole that you go down just to, to commemorate the olden days. Um, so yeah, let’s, uh, let’s, let’s do a quick check-in. Christina’s Health Update Brett: Um, I’m curious about your health and all of the wildness that’s going on with your spine and whatnot. Christina: Yeah. Yeah. Um, same. I wanna hear about you too. Um, so, uh, Christina’s cervical spine update, as it were. Um, I am [00:01:00] still waiting to, as we’re recording this, which is like. Uh, three days before Christmas, uh, I’m still waiting to hear from the, uh, hospital to see if I can, when I can get scheduled. Um, insurance has sort of been a pain in the ass, so when I talked to them last week, they were like, we sent them some paperwork. We’re still waiting for some things back then. I called the insurance company and the, the, uh, like my insurance is like, has like an intermediary service that is supposed to contact the insurance company on your behalf and that person, but like, I can’t contact them directly. And then that person was like, oh, you don’t need pre-authorization. Go ahead and schedule the surgery. And I’m like, this doesn’t feel right. Um, so, but, but we, we went ahead and we called back the, you know, the, the surgeon, um, his office and they were very nice and we were like. They say that we can get on the books. So I don’t know when that will be. I’m hoping that it will be, you know, like the first week of January, um, or, or, or thereabouts. Um, but I don’t know. Um, [00:02:00] so I am still kind of in this like limbo stage where I don’t know exactly when I’m gonna have the surgery, except hopefully soon. And, um, and, and for anyone who hasn’t caught up, I, uh, I have a bulging disc on C seven on my cervical spine, and I’m going to get a, um, artificial disc replacement. Um, so they’re gonna take out the, you know, bulging bone and all that and put in, uh, some synthetic piece and then hopefully that will immediately relieve the, the pain that has been primarily through the left side of, uh, my arm and my shoulder, um, uh, down through my fingers. But it’s been on my right side a little bit too. So hopefully when that is done, it’ll be a relatively short recovery. Um, I’ll have an early scar and um, I will be, you know, not. Uh, the pain right now, like the levels aren’t terrible, but I’m pretty numb, uh, on my, my, my left arm, my, my right arm, um, uh, or right fingers I guess too, but, but really it’s, it’s, uh, the, the, the left side [00:03:00] that’s the worst. And traveling. Um, I’m, I’m in Atlanta with my family right now and, you know, kind of doing other things is just not, it’s not great. So, um, hopefully I’ll be getting surgery sooner rather than later. But obviously all that stuff does impact your mental health too, when you’re in pain and, and you, you know, are freaked out too about, you know, like, even though like they do, you know, it, it’s not an uncommon surgery and, and it, and it should be fine, but you know, there’s always these things in the back of your mind. You’re like, okay, well what if something goes wrong or whatever. So I’m just, I’m looking forward to, um, you know, light at the end of the tunnel, but um, still kind of in a holding pattern with that. So Brett: Wow. So that scar’s, that scar’s gonna be on your throat. Christina: Yeah, Brett: Wow. Christina: yeah. Like probably like. No, not really. I’m, I mean, I’m hoping that it’ll be, uh, like no, it really won’t be at all. Brett: I, I, I would like to have it. I can understand why you wouldn’t. Christina: yeah, I mean, you know, I will obviously, you know, uh, hopefully it’ll be like low enough to be [00:04:00] primarily covered by shirts or other things, although, who knows? ’cause I do like to wear like, lower cut things sometimes. I don’t know. It, it’ll hopefully, you Brett: I heard chokers are coming back. Christina: Yeah, I don’t, unfortunately. I think it’s gonna be too, uh, low for that. Brett: Okay. Christina: uh, like, it, it’s gonna be, I think like it might hit against my laryn is, is what they say. That’s the other thing too. I might have, you know, some hoarseness after, won’t we permanent? Um, you know, knock on wood. Um, Brett: go on Etsy, you can get, um, they’re for BDSM, they’re like neck, uh, they hold your chin up. They’re like posture enhancers. Uh, but they sell them within leather with like corset straps. ’cause they’re like A-B-D-S-M accessory. That would work. Christina: No, no. Not even once. Uh, not even once. I mean, look, a good group of people who wanna do that, uh, I I will not be wearing a collar of any sort of that sort of thing. Uh, I, I, I don’t, I don’t really wanna, wanna be part [00:05:00] of, uh, one of that, those types of, you know, uh, Harlequin romance novels. , Brett’s Sleep and Work Routine Brett: All right, well, I will go ahead and check in. Um, I, I’m sleeping really well for like two days at a time, and then I’ll have. A string of like five or six hours of sleep, which isn’t nothing. Um, but it’s not quite enough for me to not feel tired all the time. And two nights of sleep is not enough for me to catch up on sleep. And, um, so I’m kind of, this has been going on for like a year though, so it’s, I’m just kind of, I’m used to it and I’ve learned to operate pretty well on six or seven hours of sleep, even though historically like I need eight and a half. Um, but I’m doing okay and I get up about four every morning and I start coding and I usually code from like four to noon, so an eight [00:06:00] hour workday, uh, with a breakfast somewhere in there. And, um, I’ve made really good progress. Marked is, as far as I can tell, ready to go wide with the beta. Um. I think I’ve solved every bug that’s been reported so far. I only have about a hundred testers right now, um, but I’m gonna open it up, uh, try to get maybe a thousand testers for a couple weeks and then go for a live release. The biggest thing that I’m running into is problems with getting the, like free trial and the purchase mechanisms working, which is the exact same thing that’s holding up NV Ultra right now. Um, so if I can figure it out for Mark, I can port it to NV Ultra. I can have two apps out there making money, hopefully never have to get a job again. Um, I’m teamed up right now with Dan Peterson, formerly of One Password. Um, and we’re [00:07:00] working on some iOS apps and. And, uh, apex. My, my, all my Universal markdown processor is, it’s coming along really well. I’ve, I’ve put it out there. Um, I’ve talked to John Gruber a little bit about it. He’s gonna give it more of a workout and get back to me. Um, but I think, I think it’s getting to a point where I would be comfortable integrating it into Mark and even talking to some other, uh, apps about using it as their default processor, um, and kind of alleviating some of the issues people run into with, uh, differences in syntax. Um, I. I, I, I talked to Devon, think, uh, Eric from Devon think about using it. ’cause they use multi markdown right now, uh, which has a lot of cool features, but is not [00:08:00] really in sync with what most of the web is using these days. Um, so I talked to them about it and they’re like, oh, we had the exact same idea and we’re almost done with our own universal processor. Um, and theirs is gonna output like RTF and things that I don’t need apex to do. ’cause you can just pipe apex into panoc and do everything you need. So anyway, I’m, I’m tired. I’m, I’m in good spirits. I. I’m dealing fine with winter. My, I’m alone on Christmas, which is gonna be weird. Um, my family’s outta town. Elle is house sitting I’ll, I’ll go visit Elle, but most of the day I’m gonna be like by myself on Christmas and I don’t drink anymore. And I, I don’t, I don’t know how that’s gonna go yet. Um, initially I thought, oh, that’s fine. I like being alone. But then, [00:09:00] then the idea of like, not having anyone to talk to you on Christmas day started to feel a little depressing. Christina: Yeah. Yeah. Um, but, um, hopefully, um, when, when will, uh, when will I’ll be back from, from house sitting. How long is, uh, are, are they going to be Brett: I think. I think the people, the, the house owners come back Thursday or Friday. Christina: Okay. Brett: Then we’re gonna take off and go up to Minneapolis to hang out with her family for a weekend. So, I don’t know. It’ll, it’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna like cook on Christmas Eve and, and have leftovers on Christmas day. It’ll be fine. Christina: Yeah, yeah. Well, but, but it, but, but that is weird. Like, I’m sure like to be, you know, not, not, not, not with like your usual crew, but, um, [00:10:00] especially without the alcohol there. But that’s probably a good thing too. Brett: Yeah, I guess. Um, I will have all the cats. I’ll be fine. I have to take care of the dog too. Christina: Have, have you heard any updates, like, um, I guess, um, about when you were, you know, you were in the hospital a few times over the last year with, with various things. Did you ever get any definitive update on what that was? Brett: On which one? I have so many symptoms. Which one are we talking about? Christina: Well, I guess I, I guess when you, you know, you’ve had to be like hospitalized or Brett: The pancreatitis. Christina: had the pancreatitis. Brett: the, the fact that it hasn’t happened again since I stopped drinking, um, really does indicate that it was entirely alcohol that was causing the problem. Um, so yeah, I’m just, I’m never gonna drink again. That’s fine. It’s, it’s all fine. Um, I did, I did get approved to get back on Medicaid. Um, so [00:11:00] yeah, I haven’t gotten the paperwork in the mail yet. Uh, but my old card should just start working and I’ll be able to, my, my new doctor wants a whole bunch more tests, including an MRI of my pituitary gland. Um. Like testosterone tests and stuff that I guess is more specific to what she thinks might be going on with me. Um, but now I can, I can actually get those tests That would’ve been just a huge out-of-pocket expense over the last couple months. So I’m excited. I’m excited to be back on Medicaid. I wish everyone could have Medicaid. Christina: Yeah, that would be really nice. That would be really nice if, if, if we had systems like that available, um, for everyone. Um, but. Instead, you know, if they’re, like, if you have really great health, I mean, you, you pointed those out. Like you have really great health insurance if you [00:12:00] can prove that you, you know, make absolutely no money. Um, but, but that opens up so many other, you know, issues that most people aren’t lucky enough to be able Brett: right. Yeah, totally. Christina: right. Brett: All right, well do you, okay, first topic. USB-C Cable Confusion Brett: How much do you know about USBC cables and the various specs? Christina: Uh, Brett: you know a shit ton. Christina: I do, unfortunately, I know a lot. Brett: So I, I had been operating under the assumption that there were basically, you had like data USBC cables, you had, uh, thunderbolt USBC cables and you had like, power only USPC cables. It turns out there’s like 18 different varieties of different, uh, like vol, uh, voltage, uh, amperage, uh, levels, like total wattage basically. And, um, and transfer speeds. And, [00:13:00] um, and there’s like maximum links for different types of cable. And it, it, I started to understand why like. One device would charge with one cable and another device would not charge with the same cable, even though they all have the same connector. Christina: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think this is, this is why, um, some of us have been really like eye rolly at the EU for their pronouncements about certain things, because simply mandating a connector type doesn’t actually solve the problem. Brett: No, it actually confuses it a little bit Christina: I think Yeah, I was going to say exactly. I think in some cases it makes it worse. Right? And, and then you have different, like, and, and then getting SB four into it, uh, uh, versus like, like, like, like various Thunderbolt versions. Like that adds complications too, because technically SB four and Thunderbolt four should basically be the same, but they’re not really, there are a couple of things that Thunderbolt might have that [00:14:00] USB four doesn’t necessarily have to have, although for all intents and purposes they might be the same. And then of course, thunderbolts five is its own thing too. So like I bought off of Kickstarter, I got like this, you know, like a cable charger, basically like, like a connector thing. It was like $120. For this, this, this thing that basically you can plug a cable into and you can see its voltage and um, or not voltage, I guess it’s uh, you know, amperage or whatever. And you can see like, it, it, it’s transfer speed and you can basically like check that on like a little display, which is useful, but the fact that like, you have to buy that sometimes. So like figure out, well, okay, well which cable is this? Right? And then, uh, to your point about lengths, right? So like, okay, so you want something that’s going to be fast charging but also high speed data transfer. Alright, well that means that you, the cable’s gonna have to be stiff. It’s not gonna be able to be something that’s really bendable. Um, which of course is what most people are going to want. So like you can get a fast charge, like a 240 wat or a hundred and, you know, 20 wat or, or [00:15:00] whatever, um, like a USB 2.0 transfer speed cable. But if you want one that’s, uh, going to be, you know, fast charging and. Fast data transfer, then like that’s a different type. And they have like limited lengths, which again, can also be associated with like Thunderbolt or Thunderbolt. You know, cables are much more expensive. Um, and, uh, uh, you know, the, the, the, but their, their lengths are limited. Um, yeah. Uh, it’s very confusing. Brett: Did you know that in rare circumstances there are even devices that will only charge with an A to C cable. Christina: Yes, Brett: That’s so insane. Christina: yeah, no, I’ve run into that myself and then that’s a weird thing and I don’t even know how that should work. ’cause it’s, it’s, it’s a bizarre thing. You’re like, okay, well I thought this was just like a, you know, maybe like a dumb end, but it’s like, no, there’s like, you know, basically a microchip Brett: Like a two pin to two pin. Christina: at this point. Brett: Like two pen to two pen, no pd like you would think that would work with C to C, [00:16:00] but somehow it has to be A to c. I am getting one of those cable testers. I asked for one for Christmas so I could figure out this pile of cables I have and like my Sonos Ace headphones are very particular about which cables and what, um, charging hub I hooked them up to Christina: Right. Oh, yeah, hubs. I was gonna say, hubs introduce a whole other complication into this too, because depending on what hub you’re using, if you’re using a USB hub, it may or may not have certain things versus a Thunderbolt hub versus something else, versus just like, um, you know, a power brick. Like, yeah. Brett: Yeah. It’s fun stuff you. Christina: Yeah. No, it’s annoying. And, um, like, and what, what’s frustrating about this is like some of the cables that they’re better, like you can look at the, you know, the bottoms of them and you can see like they will have like the USB like four, or they might have 3.2, or they might have, you know, like the thunderbolt, you know, um, uh, icon [00:17:00] with, with, with its version. So you can figure out is this 20 gigabits, is this 40, is this 80? Um, but um. That’s not a guaranteed thing, and that also doesn’t guarantee authenticity of stuff, right? So a lot of the cables, you know, you buy off the internet can be, you know, and they might be, or even at stores, right? Like you’re, you’re not buying something from, even if you get things from Belkin or whoever, like, those things can have issues too. Um, although they at least tend to have better warranties. I bought a Balkan, um. Uh, like a, a, a PD cable, like a two 40 cable that I think it was like, you know, uh, 10 feet longer something. It was supposed to have some sort of long warranty and, and because the, the, you know, um, faster transfer ones, um, are, even though it was braided, you know, it stiff and it, it broke, like there was, uh, the, like the, you know, the connect with the part of the, the, the cable near the, the end, um, did that thing that typically apple cables do, where like, it, it sort of [00:18:00] fraying and you started like seeing the exposed wires and then like, you start to like, feel like, you know, like an electric charge, like Brett: A little tingle. Christina: you’re Yeah. And you’re like, okay, this isn’t good. Um, and so I at least had my Amazon receipt, so I was able to like. Get them to mail me a new one relatively easily. And like Anchor has an okay warranty too. But it’s one of those things you’re like, okay, when did I buy this? I was like, I didn’t even buy this a year ago, and this thing already crapped out. Um, versus, you know, you can get some really nice braided cables that are flexible, but they’re just gonna be 2.0 speeds. Um, and, and then if you buy, you know, you just buy like some random cable, you know, like at the airport or whatever. You’re like, all right, well, I don’t even know Brett: Great. Christina: anything about this. Uh, yeah, Brett: I have heard good things. I’ve heard good things about the company. Cable Matters. Christina: Yeah. Yeah. They make good stuff. They make good stuff. But again, at least the cables matters, cables that I have have been primarily stiffer cables because they tend to be like the, the higher transfer [00:19:00] speeds. So, um, like I have a cable, cable matters Thunderbolt cable, and I have like a USB four cable, I think. Um, but like, these are cables that like. I don’t, I mean, I, I have one that I, I kind of travel with, but I don’t, um, either keeping it as little cable matters, uh, uh, plastic, um. Like, so they come in like these, these case, uh, not these cases. Uh, they come in like these, uh, almost like Ziploc bag type of things. Um, which is a great way to ship cables honestly, you know, rather than using a box and, and like I, and I might toss one of those in a suitcase or a backpack, um, rather than having like the cable just out there loose. But I do that primarily because again, like they’re stiff and they’re not the sorts of things that I necessarily want, like in the bottom of my bag, you know, potentially getting broken and, and, and, and twisted and all of that. Um, they are overpriced for what they are and they are definitely not like, they’re not a high transfer cable, but if you can find ’em on sale, the beats, cables, the, the, the, the, the, the branded Beats cables, I actually like them better [00:20:00] than the apple cables that are the same thing, because they are, they’re longer, uh, by, you know, um, a, a few inches than, um, the, the Apple ones. But they’re still braided and they’re nice. And I was able to get, I dunno, this was a, this was not even Black Friday, but this was. Um, you know, sometime in like early November, I think, um, or maybe it was like late October. It might’ve been a Prime Day thing, I don’t know, but they were like eight or $9 a piece, and so I bought like five or six of them. Um, and they are, you know, uh, uh, PD and like, like, like fast charging peoples, they might not be 240, but I think they’re, they’re, they were like a hundred and you know, like 20 watts or whatever. But, um, you know, not high transfer speeds, but if you’re wanting to just quickly charge something and have it, you know, be a, a decent length and be like flexible. Those I don’t, those I don’t hate. Um, anchor makes pretty good cables. You green seems to be the company that’s sponsoring everyone now for various things. [00:21:00] But, um, I don’t know. I’ve started using MagSafe more and more, uh, like wireless charging when I can for some things, at least for phones, Brett: yeah. I actually have some U green wireless charging solutions that are really good. Christina: Yeah. Yeah. I just got one of their, uh, their 10,000 million pair battery fast charging battery things because now the MagSafe, uh, can be like up to, you know, 30 watts or whatever, or 25 watts or, or, or, or whatever it is. Like it’s, um, a lot more, um, usable than, you know, when it was like 10 or, or, or even 15. You’re like, okay, this, this is actually not going to be like the, the slowest, you know, charging thing known to man. But of course, obviously it’s like you can use it with your phone and with your AirPods, but the rest of the things out there don’t, don’t all support shi too, so, Brett: Right. Christina: yeah. Brett: All right. So, um, I want to talk about TV a little bit. Christina: Yeah. I think before we do that though, we should probably Brett: oh, we should, we [00:22:00] have two sponsors to fit in Jesus. I should get on that. Sponsor Break: Shopify Brett: Um, let’s start with, uh, let’s start with Shopify. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Have you been dreaming of owning your own business? In addition to having something to sell, you’ll need a website, a payment system, a logo, a way to advertise to new customers, et cetera, et cetera. It can all be overwhelming and confusing, but that’s where today’s sponsor, Shopify comes in. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world, and 10% of all e-commerce in the us From household names like Mattel and Gym Shark to brands. Just getting started, get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use templates. Shopify helps you build beautiful online store to match your brand style, accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography.[00:23:00] Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. And best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world-class expertise and everything from managing inventory to international shipping, to processing returns and beyond. If you’re ready to sell, you’re ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today@shopify.com slash Overtired. Go to shopify.com/ Overtired. That is shopify.com/ Overtired. Thanks Shopify. Christina: Thank you Shopify. Brett: It’ll be, it’ll be just tight as hell by the time people hear it. But that was rough. I, that, that, that, that read, you just heard I [00:24:00] edited like six places. ’cause I kept, I, I don’t know. I’m tired. I’ve been up since, I’ve been up since two today. Christina: Yeah. Shit, man. That’s, yeah, you again, like you’ve been having like sleep issues. It’s, it’s, Brett: Maybe, maybe I shouldn’t be doing sponsor reads. Christina: No, no, no, no, no. Uh, no. We definitely wanna talk about tv. Do you wanna do, do we wanna do our second, um, uh, uh, ad break Brett: let’s do a block. Let’s make it a Christina: Let’s do it. Block. Alright, fantastic. Sponsor Break: Copilot Money Christina: Alright, well, since we are about to go into 2026, this is a great time to, uh, think about your finances. So are you ready to take control of your finances? Well meet copilot money. This is the personal finance app that makes your money feel clear and calm with a beautiful design. Smart automation copilot money brings all of your spending, saving and investment accounts into one place. It’s available on iOS, Mac, iPad, and now on the web, which is really great, uh, because I know, uh, for me anyway, that’s one of my one kind of things [00:25:00] about some of these like tools like this is that there’s not a web app. I’m really bothered by it. This is, you know, it’s a frustration that like the Apple card, for a long time, you know, you couldn’t really access things on, on the web. Even now it’s still kind of messy, like being able to handle things on the web. But as we enter 2026, it is time for a fresh start. And so with the, uh, mint shutdown and rising financial uncertainty, consumers are seeking clarity and control. And this is where copilot money comes in. So copilot money can help you track your budgets, your savings goals, and your net worth seamlessly. Plus, with the the new, um, web launch, you can enjoy a sudden experience on any device, which is really good. And guess what? For a limited time, you can get 26% off your first year when you sign up through the web app. New Year’s only don’t miss out on the chance to start the new year with confidence. There are features like automatic subscription tracking, so you’ll never miss upcoming charges again. Copilot money’s privacy first approach ensures that your data is secure and their team is dedicated to helping you stress less [00:26:00] about money. So whether you’re a finance pro or just starting out, copilot money is there to help you make better decisions. Visit, try dot copilot money slash Overtired and use the code Overtired to sign up for your one month free trial and embrace financial clarity. That’s try.copilot.money/ Overtired. Use the coupon Overtired. And again, that is 26% off for your first year. So thank you copilot money for, uh, sponsoring this week’s, uh, uh, episode. Oh, one other note about copilot money. They were, um, an apple, uh, design award finalist. So it’s a really well designed app and, um, we love to see, um, apps like this available on, on the web as well as iOS and, and MAC os. Brett: I have started using it very much because of the web version, and it is, it is really good. Christina: yeah, yeah. No, yeah. For, yeah, for me, that is like a, an actual like. Concrete requirement. Exploring Rocket Money and Web Interfaces Christina: Any money Brett: Like I’ve, I’ve [00:27:00] paid, I have about eight months left. I paid for a year of, of Rocket Money or whatever it’s called now. Um, and I’ve always loved that app, but yeah, it does not have a web interface. And once I started trying copilot out, I realized how much I really did want a web interface for that stuff, you know? What else have you seen? Discovering Umami Analytics Brett: Umami the analytics platform. Christina: Yes. Brett: It is so good. And it’s, it’s open source and you can self-host. And it is like, I, I’ve been using Fathom Analytics for a long time and I like Fathom, but Umami is, it has like all of the, uh, advanced stuff you would get with Google Analytics, but with like way more privacy focus and you’re not giving information to Google for one. Um, and the interface is beautiful. I love that. It’s so good. Christina: Yeah. Um, umami is really good. I think, uh, there’s another one, I’m [00:28:00] trying to think of what it was called. There are a number of these various, um, analytics, uh, hosted things, but no, umami is definitely a really good one. Nostalgia for Mint and Fever Christina: And I like, um, it reminds me, um, it was, what was it? It was Mint. It was Mint, Sean Edmond’s Mint. Which Brett: I was just gonna ask you if you remembered that. Christina: yeah, which was, which was one of the, uh, plausible analytics. It’s another one too. Um, which is also like, um, they, they have a hosted version, but you can also self-host. Um, and then that’s also a, a, a, another, uh, good one. But yeah. Um, was like my, my all time favorites, uh, you know, app. I, I, I loved that. Brett: Um, what was his RSS one? Uh, fever? Fever. Christina: was, was the best fever, was the best. The Decline of RSS and Google Reader Christina: And it was funny, like I, I think I’ve talked about this before, I was more insulated and like less upset than some people by the, the Google reader death because I had a, a, I’d been using Fever for so long, and then obviously, you know, stuff being updated and doesn’t really work [00:29:00] super well with like, the latest versions of PHP and things like that. But, you know, a lot of people were really, understandably and, and still more than a decade on, you know, very upset by the death of, um, Google reader. But I think because I, I had paid for and used, you know, my own, um, self-hosted fever installation, and then there were apps that people used for, you know, APIs and whatnot to build, you know, Macs or iOS apps or, or whatever. Like, I, I was obviously upset about Google Reader being shut down, but I was like, okay, you know, I, I can just, you know, move on to something else. And, um, and I’ve used, uh, feeder, um, not, not, not feeder, um, Brett: Reader Christina: is. No, no. Maybe, uh, it’s, uh, not Feed Demon. Um, that was like the OG one. Um, it’ll come to me, um, because I, I, yes. Thank you. Feed Ben. Thank you, thank you. One of the ones that’s still around, uh, from like the, of the, you know, various Google reader alternatives, like many of them. You know, closed up shop.[00:30:00] Brett: Yeah. Christina: if they kind of realized, you know, by Google reader, like this is the, unfortunately a niche market. Um, now that didn’t help the fact that like, you know, when people, when web browsers Safari, I think started at first and then Firefox did, and then, you know, uh, Chrome was, was fairly early too. Like when all the web browsers took away like RSS buttons to make it easy to subscribe to feeds or to auto discover feeds, and you had to like install like a, an extension or whatever to do that. Like, that all helped with the, the demise of RSS in a lot of ways. And of course, people moving everything into closed platforms and, and social networks and stuff that, you Brett: In, in the tech world though. So I have, my blog gets about 20,000 visits a week, but it gets 30,000 RSS downloads, like, uh, like daily, 30,000 readers are, are, are pulling my site. Um, so RSS is far from dead in the tech world. Christina: Right. Well, [00:31:00] well, I think, I think in a certain demographic, right? I think if you were to ask like a new, like college grads, I don’t think that any of them are using RSS at least not actively, right? Like, I mean, you might have a few, but like it’s, it’s just not gonna be like a thing where they’re gonna be, act like they might be using some apps that do similar types of things and might even pull in feed sources maybe. But it, it’s, it’s just not like a, like when, when I was graduating from college or in college, like everybody had, you know, RSS clients and that was just kind of a, a known thing. Brett: Yeah. So speaking of traffic, um, I don’t, did I mention that I got delisted on Bing and Christina: You did, Brett: I am, I’m back Christina: figure that out? You’re back now. Okay. Brett: I’m back now. Switching to Kagi Search Engine Brett: And, um, I have switched to using Kaji, um, as my primary search engine and they replicate all of duck duck go’s bang searches. Christina: Yes. Brett: So I Christina: one of the things I love about them. [00:32:00] Yes. Brett: I was pleased to see there’s a Bang Turp search on Kaji. Um, I actually use Christina: or is it kgi? Because I think I’ve always called it kgi. Yeah, it’s KA, it’s K, it’s KAGI. For anybody who’s who’s, uh, I don’t know how to, how, how, if it’s kgi, kgi, um, uh, you know, Kaji, whatever, Brett: It’ll be in the show notes. What the fuck ever, we’ll just call it KGI. Um, and yeah, so like I was super happy ’cause I used the Bang Turp to search my own site. I just got used to doing that. The Rise of AI-Generated Content Brett: Um, and, but it is like you can, the reason I switched to said web, uh, search engine is um, because you can report sites that are just AI slop and they will verify those reports and remove or flag slop sites in your search results. ’cause I was getting sick, even with DuckDuckGo, like five out [00:33:00] of 10 results were always, I’d get in, I’d get there, I’d get one, maybe two paragraphs into, uh, an article and realize, oh, someone just typed in my search term into chat GPT and then Christina: Oh yeah. Brett: automated it. Christina: Oh, I was gonna say there, there it is. Automated at this point. And, and like, to be clear, like a lot of search results, even before like the rise of like genre of AI were a variant of this, where you would see like people like buying older domain names that expired. Well, yeah, but even before that happened mean that, that obviously when, when, when the Christina Warren and Brett Terpstra and then they, they changed your name. Um, I Brett: know, like Jason Turra or Christina: Or something like that. Yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was weird. Um, I mean, you know, um, does that site, did, did have they given up the ghost on that? I’m curious. Um, yeah. Wow. Okay. They are still, well, no, they haven’t published anything since November 30th. So something has happened where they, uh, are [00:34:00] they, they’re definitely cutting down on, on various things. Um, oh no. Paul Terpstra. Oh my God. Paul Terpstra. You are still, Brett: Yeah. Christina: you were like the one author there that I see on this website. Um, now what was, what was messed up about, about this? Um, although no. Okay. Their homepage, the last one they say is like, OCT is like, uh, November, um, uh, 30th. But if you click on the, the Paul trips to handle, then like you see, um, December 22nd, uh, which is, which is today as we’re recording this, Brett: Wow, I didn’t even realize. Christina: Yeah. So, alright. So that is still, somehow that grift is still going on. But yeah, I mean, even before the rise of those things, you would see, you know, sites that would either buy up dead domains and then like, have like very similar looking content, but slightly different maybe, you know, like, uh, you know, injected with a bunch of, you know. Links or whatever, or you would see people who would, you know, do very clearly SEO written and, and probably, you know, [00:35:00] like, again, pre generative ai, but, you know, assisted slop content. But yeah, now it’s, it’s just, it’s crazy. Like, and it doesn’t help that, like the AI summaries, which can be useful, but, um, and they’re getting better, which is good only because they’re so prominent. Like, I’m not a fan of them. But if you’re not using an alternative search engine, like, you know, you see these AI summaries and like if they’re bad and sometimes they are then. Brett: Often Christina: You know, well, they’re, they’ve gotten better, uh, is the only thing I would say. I, I still wouldn’t rely on them, but I’ve, I’ve noticed a, like, I’ve noticed a, a genuine, like uptick in like, improvements and in like, how awful they are probably in like the last six weeks, which is damning with faint praise. I’m not at all saying it’s good. I am simply saying, it’s like, I’m primarily thinking for like, people who are like, like less tech savvy relatives who are going to just go to, you know, bing.com or, or google.com and then see those sorts of things. Right. Um, and, uh, you know, we’re not gonna be able to convince them to go to a, a, a third [00:36:00] party search engine. Um, although, you know, some people, like, I think my mom was using Duck to Go for a while as like her default on her iPhone, um, which I was, I was like proud of her about, but I was also kind of like, uh, that’s got its own issues. But no, I, I like ka a lot. Um, I, I’ve Brett: Well, and it’s so keyboard driven, like DuckDuckGo has good keyboard shortcuts. KAGY slash Kaji has even better keyboard shortcuts. Like you can navigate and control everything with, uh, like Gmail style, single key keyboard shortcuts, which I really like. Christina: Yeah. Yeah, I like that too. And then they, they, of course, they make like a, a web kit, um, like a browser, um, that, that has, they’ve back ported, um, you know, a lot of chrome extensions too. I personally don’t see the point in that. Um, I, I think that if you’re going to be like that committed to, like, using like the, you know, the web extension format and like using like more popular extensions, you might as well [00:37:00] just use a Chrome fork if you don’t wanna use Chrome, which is fine, but like, you could use a browser like Helium, which, which we talked about last show, which has, um, the, the, the hash bangs kind of integrated in, or you could use, you know, if you wanted to use, um, um, you know, the, the, the, the Brett: o is Orion, is Orion the one you’re talking about that? Yeah. Christina: that, that, yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that’s Katy’s thing. And that was actually originally how I heard about them was because it was like, oh, this is interesting. Um, you know, this is a kind of an interesting, you know, kind of alternative browser. And then it turned out that that was just kind of a, in some ways, kind of a front to promote the, the search engine, which is the real, you know, thing. Um, which is fine, right? I mean, that, that was Google’s model. Um, Brett: Well, and we should mention for anyone who hasn’t tried it, it is a paid service. Um, and you are getting search results with no ads and, and spam, uh, ai, slot protection and all of the benefits you would expect from a paid service. So [00:38:00] I think, like for me, five bucks a month gets me, I think 300 searches, which is. Plenty for me, like, I guess I, I’m still waiting to see, I’ve never counted how many searches I do a month, Christina: Yeah, Brett: you know, like three searches a day, uh, would come out to like 90 searches a month and I have 300 available, so I think I’ll be fine. Christina: yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, basically being able to get to do 10 a day, which in most cases is fine. What I’ve done is I’m on, like, they have a, a, a family plan, um, and they don’t care. They even, I think in their documentation, or at least they did, they do not care if you are like actually in a family with the people that you are on or not. So if you, you know, find some folks that you wanna kind of sync up with, you can like, you know, be on a family plan together and you can save money, um, on, uh, whatever their, uh, um, their pricing [00:39:00] stuff is. So, um, so me, me and Justin Williams are, uh, in a, uh, Brett: Justin Williams, I haven’t heard that name in forever. Christina: Yeah. Yeah. We went to C Oasis together. We went both nights in Los Angeles, um, in August. Yeah. Um, or September rather. Um, yeah, so, okay, so this is how this works. They have, their starter plan is, is $5 a month, which includes, and they do have an AI assistant too. So it was funny, they had the AI slot protection, but they also have like an AI assistant that you can use and like an AI summarizer and whatnot. Um, that’s $5 a month. And then there’s the professional plan, which is, so that’s for 300 searches a month for the standard AI for starter $5 a month. The professional plan is unlimited searches and standard ai, that’s $10 a month. And then the ultimate is, um. Uh, everything in professional plus you get like premium model access, which, okay, but the family plan, um, is, is the, so you can do one of two things. You have a duo [00:40:00] plan, which is two professional accounts for a couple, which is $14 a month plus sales tax. So it’s, uh, you know, average of $7 per person, which I think is what Justin and I are on. And then there’s a family plan with up to six family members. And again, they don’t care if you are actually in a family or not, and that’s $20 a month. So the real thing to do if you’re wanting to like, you know, save on this is like find five friends, Brett: Yeah. Christina: get on the $20 a month, you know, family plan thing. Spread the, spread the cost, and that way you can get the, you know, professional plan for, for, for less. But to your Brett: All right. Christina: most people, it’s probably $300, 300 searches a month is probably plenty. And if you search a lot like we do, I, I think it is worth paying for. Brett: yeah, yeah. All right. TV Shows: Is TV Just Okay Now? Christina: anyway, but we wanted to talk about tv, so let’s Brett: Well do, we’re, we’re at 50 minutes already, so I think we need to choose whether we do TV or gratitude. What Christina: do you have a [00:41:00] gude, like a good one? Brett: I, I, no, I have a, I have a throwaway one. Christina: Okay. Brett: I, it was one of those, like, I looked at my doc and I was like, oh, I don’t think I’ve talked about that even though I probably have, um, yeah, let’s just talk about tv. So I, I have been noting, and my question in the show notes was, is TV just okay now? Because I’ve been watching, I watched Stranger Things, pluribus Down, cemetery Road, platonic, and all of it was, it was entertaining, but it wasn’t like, must watch tv. None of it was like, none of it was as good as like Modern Family. Modern Family was fucking good. Tv, like family friendly and just like I’ve, I’ve been through that series so many times and it’s always fun and it’s always better than like pluribus. I like the, I like the concept kind of, it’s not. not all that, um, engaging, I guess.[00:42:00] Christina: I like it. But, Brett: Yeah. I don’t hate it like I do, I do like it, but it’s not like, I don’t, I don’t count the days until the next episode comes out and I miss, I miss things being really good. So you had a couple responses to that though. Christina: Well, I mean, I tend to agree with you. So first of all, there, I put in the, in the show notes, um, there’s a link to a thing that, uh, that James and Pozak wrote for the, the New York Times, uh, God a year and a half ago now called, um, the Comfortable Problem of Mid tv. And he said it, it, it’s got a great cast, it looks cinematic, it’s, um, fine and is everywhere. And kind of talking about like, you know, we went from like the era of like peak TV to now being, um. You know what, what he’s dubbed like mid tv and I think that there’s, there’s some truth to that. Um, and, and, and he even says at the beginning, let me say up front, this is not an essay about how bad TV is today, just the opposite. There’s, um, little truly bad high profile television made anymore, um, is it’s more talking about, um, like [00:43:00] what we have instead Today is something less awful, but in a way more sad, the willingness to retreat, to settle to trade, the ambitious for the defendable. And I think that there’s some truth to that. Um, I think that we see this movies now too, and with movies it’s actually much more of a problem. Like there’s some really high highs. Um, but because the movie industry is in such a bad place, um, it, it’s that much more notable when like, you don’t have like a big strong slate of, of things. And so, you know, it, it, it’s more of a problem. TV for, for better or worse, has become the dominant entertainment form. And yeah, I think that it, it, it’s fine. Uh, but there are very few things that I’m like, oh, wow, yeah, that, that’s like, you know, the wire. Um, not that anything is, but you know what I mean? But is, but even like, you know, pluribus, which I really like. I actually think that’s, um, my, my favorite show of, of, um, 2025, um, at least new show. Um, well, maybe the studio. The studio. I might have, I, I, I might put, Brett: That was pretty Christina: above that. But, but, but, but [00:44:00] like, it’s one of those things where I’m like, okay, you know, um, it’s not breaking bad, right? Like, if we’re gonna be comparing Vince Gilligan shows, and maybe that’s unfair, but, you know, it just, but, but still, like, you know, you’re gonna be compared to your last hit. And, and, and, and that is what it is. Um, I will say though, like, I haven’t watched Stranger Things in years, and I don’t, I don’t, I don’t think I can force myself to like, care about that again, but I’ve heard kind of mixed Brett: That’s where L is too, L doesn’t care. And, and then there’s the whole like two cast members being Zionists kind of turned a whole bunch of people off and Christina: Well, and well, David Harbor, David Harbor’s whole Lily Allen thing. Are you, are you, are you familiar with this floor at all? Brett: No. Christina: Okay. You know who Lily Allen is? Brett: Yes. Christina: Okay. So she and David Harbor were married and, um, she wrote an album called, uh, uh, west End Girl that, that came out, uh, like in November, which is actually a really good album, [00:45:00] which is like White Girl Lemonade, where she just basically reads him to filth for being an absolute piece of shit. Like, apparently like, you know, they were together, they were married or whatever. She goes off to London to perform in a play and he’s like. Oh, we’re gonna be away for months. I, I wanna sleep with other people. And so they kind of like, she kind of accepts getting into an open relationship with him, even though she didn’t really want to be, which look that her, that’s her bad, whatever. But then he proceeds to like, do things that was not what they’d agreed upon on, upon the parameters of their, of their relationship. And then she’s just like brutally honest about the entire thing. And so as you’re listening to this album, you’re just learning more and more about like, David Harbor’s like sex life and, um, and stuff. And, and like, it’s just on blast. It’s incredible. Um, but, uh, yeah, so there’s, there’s some of that stuff. There’s, I, I don’t know, like I don’t, I don’t really follow the rest of the cast stuff except that, uh, the girl who plays, um, 11 like. Frequently want to smack because just the most annoying [00:46:00] celebrity in on the planet. But like, putting that aside, um, I just, I stopped caring. It took them too long between seasons and the, and, and, and the budget for that show was also so insane. I’m like, you, you cost more than strain than thinking of Thrones. Game of Thrones is, was even at its worst, was a better show than Stranger Things. So like it, yeah. But but that goes to your point. Like, it’s like, it’s okay. Brett: Yeah. Yeah, Christina: Um, I will say the new season of Fallout just, um, premiered and so far I I’m still really enjoying that. Um, Brett: yet to see it. Christina: you should, you should definitely watch the Brett: What is it on? Christina: uh, Amazon Brett: Okay. Christina: and, uh, and it’s, and it’s really, really good. Um. And this year they are doing the episodic, um, not episodic, the weekly drop, right. Rather than the binge thing. So the first season, uh, they dropped it all at once and um, and I was a little bit worried. I was like, fuck, does that mean they don’t [00:47:00] believe in this? What are they going to do? Wound up being like Amazon’s biggest hit after their Lord of the Rings, um, you know, thing. And so it was immediately kind of picked up for a second season and it was picked up for a third season before the second season even, uh, premiered. Um, and uh, and that might be the final one. Um, they’re saying, but, but, but, but who knows? But, but so far anyway, like they’ve only, there’s only been one episode, but it’s, it’s been good so far. The Cultural Phenomenon of Heated Rivalry Christina: Um, but, but what I was gonna talk to you about is the gay hockey show. Brett: Which is. Christina: It’s called Heated rivalry. It’s on HBO Max. It was originally just supposed to be on, uh, a Canadian streamer called Crave. And um, then at the, like, the, the like 11th hour, HBO Max picked it up and was like, okay, we’ll play this in, um, some of our territories and other things. And I wanna be very clear, this is not high art at all. This is like, no way. Like this actually in some ways it, it personifies [00:48:00] the TV is just okay now thing, but in other ways it’s actually a little bit more interesting just because the cultural phenomenon that has happened around it in like the last, like, like it hasn’t even been out a month and it’s only six episodes, although they are also going to be getting a second season. Um, it’s sort of wild how, like I went from, I’d seen a trailer for it and I was like, okay, whatever. And like it came out, I think like right after Thanksgiving. Then like within like two or three weeks, like literally I wasn’t following anything around it, but my Instagram, my TikTok, Twitter, everything that I was seeing was just all about the discourse around the show. And it’s like a bunch of us all seem to have to have discovered it. Like one weekend where we were like, okay, we’re gonna actually sit down and watch the gay hockey show. Um, and this is exactly what it is. It is a gay hockey show. So it is based on, there was a series of books that this, uh, female, uh, writer Rachel Reed wrote, um, uh, about like, uh, I think like they were like eBooks, types of thing. Um, uh, I think although there, there is now I [00:49:00] think like a, a hard cover release because they’ve been so popular and they’re just, it’s just ero, it’s just smut, right? It’s basically fanfic dressed up in something else. And the idea was like, okay, you have like these, you know, male like hockey players who are closeted and kind of have like this, this romance that, that starts from like 2008, um, through like, I dunno, like, like 2017 or 2018. And there are a number of different. Books or stories in the universe. But the one that people liked the most was the, the second book, which is called Heed Rivalry. You don’t really need to know any about that. The big thing about the show is that it is essentially like soft core gay porn. Um, but yet it’s like weirdly compelling in a way. Like, it, it is very, like, there’s, there’s some sweet aspects to it. Like you were before the, the show, you were saying, oh, it’s kinda like Heart Stopper could not be further from Heart Stopper. ’cause Heart Stopper is very sweet and twee and kind of like loving and like whatnot. This is like. You know, like guys in their twenties with amazing asses, [00:50:00] you know, like doing things to one another kind of an in secret. And, and the, the thing is, there’s not a whole lot of plot. Like the plot is the porn. Because, because the whole thing is, is that like they don’t spend, they don’t have a time to spend a lot of time together because they’re, they’re closeted and their rivals. Oh, that’s the whole conceit. It’s like they’re these two great hockey players and they, they, they, um, you know, um, play for opposing teams and they’re like, each other’s biggest rivals, but like, they’re, they’re fucking, um, and uh, it, it’s, uh, again, it’s not high art at all, but Brett: the target audience for this? Christina: And here’s the interesting thing. So the books are almost entirely read by women, um, and which, which makes sense. There’s, there’s a lot of like, you know, like, male, male, like, um, like the history of slash fiction goes back to like, like Fanfic in general, like goes back to like women writing, like Spock and, and, uh, um, what’s the space together? Kirk Together. Yeah. Um, and so the books are almost entirely, uh, consumed by, by women and probably straight women, although probably some queer women too. Um, but the [00:51:00] show seems to be a mix of gay men, straight women, all, although I’ve seen a lot of lesbians. As well. Um, yeah, yeah, because again, like the discourse is just kind of ridiculous and, and the memes are fun. Um, the guy who created it, he’s gay or created the, the, the television adaptation. He’s gay and, uh, I think he’s done a, a, a pretty good job with it. The, the leads are the thing that’s like incredible, like the, especially the guy who plays the, the Russian character, Ilya, uh, that actor is really, really good and he’s Texan, and yet he does like a great Russian accent and, um. And, and he’s very attractive. And like I, I, I can see like why a lot of people are into it, but it’s funny ’cause like New York Magazine, like they weren’t even covering the show, which, why would you, it was like some Canadian kind of, you know, you know, thing that barely gets picked by HBO. Then it takes off and now like they’re covering it. The, the last time I remember New York Magazine covering a show like this, like Vociferously was Gossip Girl, like 18 years ago. Um, [00:52:00] and it kind of reminds me of that, where like everybody woke up one day when they’re like, oh, this is like a cultural moment now. So again, not good television, probably not gonna necessarily be for everyone, but, but it’s a moment. And like, I kept seeing edits, I kept seeing Mo, I kept seeing edits on TikTok and stuff and I was like, okay, do I have to watch the gay hockey show? All right, I have to watch the gay hockey show so that it’s, we might be at the point where like TV is just okay, but at least there are some good like moments about, whereas the culture, we can all like agree. Okay, we’re all gonna be talking about this one thing. Brett: That sounds like what I’ll be doing on Christmas Day. Christina: Oh my God. Actually that would be a great thing to watch on Christmas. And I think that the final episode is gonna come out like the day after Christmas, so there you go. Brett: Done Deal. Cool. Wrapping Up and Holiday Wishes Brett: All right, well thanks for, we’re recording this the same morning. The show’s supposed to come out, so I gotta do some editing, but uh, but [00:53:00] thanks for showing up while you’re in Atlanta and yeah, this has been a classic, a fun classic Overtired. Christina: absolutely. Well, um, get some sleep, uh, take care of yourself. Um, happy holidays. Um, uh, hope that a, a Christmas isn’t too weird for you. And, um, and happy New Year. Brett: you too. Get some sleep.

Fenix is Gina's ceremonial guide with plant medicine, an artist, energy healer, and dear friend.  They discuss Fenix's personal healing journey including her battle with breast cancer, the search for her birth family, and her deep work with plant medicine, particularly Ayahuasca.  Fenix shares her experiences of moving from victimhood to a state of awe and curiosity, emphasizing the importance of feeling, intuition, and being present. They explore the themes of perfectionism, self-love, compassion, and forgiveness.  Rebirth through lived experience, not theory or surface-level healing. Remembering one's true nature after profound loss, rupture, or abandonment. Healing is non-linear and often initiated through crisis rather than choice. Listening to the body as an intelligence, not something to override or fix. Grief is a teacher and initiator, not something to "get over." Spiritual bypassing and performative wellness culture. Healing requires slowing down, presence, and deep honesty. Healing happens in relationship — with self, with others, our ancestors, and with the Earth. The importance of creating safe containers for transformation. Healing emerges from integration, not perfection. The feminine as embodied wisdom, not gender. Trauma is acknowledged as stored in the nervous system, not just memory. True restoration involves grief, anger, love, and joy — all welcomed. This conversation is less about becoming "better" and more about coming   home to yourself.

Dimitri and Khalid speak with Dr. Neşe Devenot about Psymposia's new report “The Psychedelic Syndicate”, Bryan Johnson's recent livestreamed psilocybin trip featuring Hamilton Morris and Genevieve Jurvetson, the not-so-crypto-transhumanism abounding in the Esalen/MAPS milieu, Steve Jurvetson hob-nobbing with Ghislaine Maxwell's sister in the dot-com nineties, the high abuse potential of Grofian therapy practices, the murky CIA ties of ‘90s LSD missile silo impresarios William Leonard Pickard and Gordon Todd Skinner, Alexander Shulgin's Chomsky-esque double-dealing with the DEA and Bohemian Grove, the possibility that MK-Ultra “research” never really ended, the coordinated backlash that occurs when you hold abusers accountable, and more. For access to full-length premium SJ episodes, upcoming installments of DEMON FORCES, and the Grotto of Truth Discord, subscribe at https://patreon.com/subliminaljihad.

The holidays have a magical way of triggering every wound you've ever had. In this solo episode, I'm sharing how you can take care of yourself so you don't lose your mind, your center, or your sanity in the process. Whether this is your first holiday season post separation, you're holding it together until January to file, or you're already divorced and juggling co-parenting, conflict, grief, or the pressure to make everything look "fine," nothing you're feeling means you're a bad mom or a bad person. It means you're human, and you deserve far more gentleness than you've ever been taught to give yourself. You'll hear me walk you through the predictable triggers and patterns that show up this time of year and why the holidays feel so damn hard. And together, we'll shift into a new way of moving through the season that protects your peace and honors your truth.  What you'll hear about in this episode: The predictable patterns and triggers that show up every holiday season What your holiday reactions are actually rooted in and why they feel so overwhelming A new way of approaching the season that protects your peace and honors your truth Seven practical ways to care for yourself so you stay connected instead of collapsing under the pressure ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Resources & Links: Get Your Curated Podcast PlaylistFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-347-when-the-holidays-trigger-every-old-wound-how-to-get-through-without-losing-yourself/  

I sit down with Josh Trent to explore how marriage, father wounds, and emotional epigenetics shape a man's inner world. We talk honestly about porn, anger, healing the mother wound, and what it actually takes to build emotional safety with your partner. Josh unpacks how breathwork, mentorship, and men's work helped him transform survival patterns into real love and leadership. This episode is raw, personal, and directly speaks to men who are ready to stop repeating cycles and start leading with truth.SHOW HIGHLIGHTS00:00 Welcome and setup00:31 Marriage as transformation01:13 Anger toward the feminine02:26 Injuries from childhood03:37 Unsafe relationship with women04:53 Realizing wife is not mom05:37 Breaking unconscious patterns06:36 Avoiding emotional honesty08:35 Growing up with bipolar parent10:35 Creating safety by coping11:39 Being shielded from truth13:40 Moving to Hawaii14:41 Womanizing and addiction15:47 Mission to feel feelings17:34 Hungry Ghost metaphor19:08 Dysfunction in relationships21:24 Men's work and mentorship23:05 Masculine leadership26:24 Joining men's communities29:32 Emotional epigenetics33:14 Containment in relationships34:33 Safe emotional expression35:36 Relationship with other men38:13 How to communicate honestly41:51 How to open up43:52 Breathwork and embodiment46:42 Middle path for men48:51 Healing financial fear50:23 Self leadership for men53:27 Porn and disconnection55:45 Why porn hooks men58:51 Escape velocity1:03:47 Healing lineage pain1:06:55 Breaking generational cycles***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don't know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they're looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts |