Podcasts about family therapists

You got the kids down. Now you're scrolling, overthinking, or squeezing in "one more thing," and your own sleep is the casualty. Sound familiar? In this conversation, sleep expert and 17-year clinical therapist, Chrissy Lawler (aka The Peaceful Sleeper), flips the script on the either/or trap moms fall into: either my kid gets rest, or I don't. She makes the bold case that the best thing you can be for your children is well, and that prioritizing your sleep isn't selfish. It's strategy. We dive into the sneaky habits quietly wrecking your sleep (and the surprisingly simple fixes), the "junk sleep" trap, what nobody tells you about sleep aids, and why you can't problem-solve at 2 AM. Whether your kids are sleeping through the night and you're still not, or you're deep in survival mode, this session will convince you that better sleep is possible—and worth fighting for. FREEBIE for all: The Maternal Mental Health Class (part of the Peaceful Mama Bundle--code "moreformoms") BONUS raffled off to All-Access Pass Holders: 3 month subscription to The Peaceful Sleeper App! Access to the Peaceful App gives you unlimited access to all sleep training and maternal mental health courses, live coaching events with Chrissy Lawler, an active parents community, and discounts to sleep training consultations with The Peaceful Sleeper's certified sleep consultants.   Chrissy Lawler is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 17 years of experience, as well as the owner, founder, and CEO of The Peaceful Sleeper, where she offers coaching, courses, and resources for parents to achieve better sleep and mental health for their babies and themselves. Her central premise is that quality sleep is critically important for the whole family system, but it doesn't matter how we get there - as long as we do. FOLLOW ON IG WEBSITE CHRISSY'S BOOK   OTHER LINKS UPGRADE to the All-Access pass for lifetime access, special bonuses, and a private, ad-free podcast feed PARTICIPATE in the private Facebook group (+vote for your daily favorite speaker) CHECK OUT our Sponsors, who made 7 free days and an affordable All-Access pass possible Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You already know what Bill does. This episode is about what's underneath it: the stories he tells himself, the things he keeps quiet, and the beliefs he never chose. You'll learn what a cognitive adaptation is, how the same mental habit sounds completely different depending on the state you're in, why humans isolate and keep secrets when animals don't, and how the beliefs handed to you can block the very pulls that would bring you toward safety. It ends with one question for you: how do you keep yourself stuck?A note before you listen: from about 5:42 to 9:52, this episode talks in general terms about abuse, perpetrators, and victim-blaming.

Mentioned in the episode:Dr. Stephanie's- Shop Dr. Stephanie's Here Code- GOLDIVY30 for 30% off at checkoutSmidge- All Supplements and Products | Smidge® Code- GOLDIVY10 for a 10% discount at checkoutGenesis Gold- Genesis Gold® | Hypothalamus Support Supplement - Code GOLDIVY for 10% off at checkoutGuest: Trevor HansonInstagram: Trevor's Instagram What if some of the patterns showing up in your relationships today actually started long before your current relationship? For this episode of Ivy Unleashed, we are joined by Trevor Hanson, a Marriage & Family Therapist and attachment expert who helps people break free from anxious patterns, build confidence, and create more secure, meaningful relationships.We go DEEP into the things that quietly shape the way we love, connect, communicate, and even see ourselves.We talk about inner child work, anxious and avoidant attachment, emotional regulation, abandonment, critical or emotionally unavailable parents, self-worth, and why we can find ourselves repeating relationship patterns we desperately want to change.And one of our favorite parts of this conversation? Trevor explains how these patterns can show up in real-life moments, often in ways you may not even recognize as attachment.But this episode isn't about putting yourself into a box or blaming your childhood for everything.It's about understanding yourself with more compassion… and realizing that security can be learned. Patterns can change. And healing may not have to take as long as you've been told.If you've ever wondered Why do I react this way? Why do I keep repeating this? Why is it so hard to feel secure? This conversation is for you.*Additionally, we want to remind you that this podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We are not licensed therapists, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.*#attachment #therapylessons #innerchildwork #trevorhanson #ivyunleashedpodcastSupport the show

Do you feel lonely in your marriage? Marriage and family therapist, Nikki Harmon, explains how loneliness typically creeps into a partnership not through one big event, but through "a thousand little misses" over time: the bids for connection you were too distracted to notice, the resentment that simmers when you're doing the dishes and he's resting, the arguments about the dishwasher that were never really about the dishwasher. She reframes what most couples think is a communication problem as something deeper—an emotional safety problem—and reveals why the way you try to fix disconnection is often the very thing keeping you stuck. The hopeful truth? It only takes one person to begin to shift a pattern. With a simple three-part framework, this session gives you a real starting place if you've ever thought "I'm carrying everything, including this marriage." FREEBIE for all: The Relationship Reset Workbook   Nikki is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist & Supervisor. She has been seeing clients for over 16 years and specializes in relationships, attachment and trauma. Nikki has worked in a variety of clinical settings including community clinics, an inpatient psychiatric hospital and private practice. She is the owner of The Family Therapy Clinic in American Fork. She's been through her own hard relationships, has struggled through grief, and is working on healing. She distracts herself with her 5 kids and 3 dogs and sometimes with French fries and a good ugly cry. FOLLOW ON IG WEBSITE   OTHER LINKS UPGRADE to the All-Access pass for lifetime access, special bonuses, and a private, ad-free podcast feed PARTICIPATE in the private Facebook group (+vote for your daily favorite speaker) CHECK OUT our Sponsors, who made 7 free days and an affordable All-Access pass possible Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why isn't there a consistent message about alcohol and health? How do you know if you're putting yourself at risk? Is it really “all things in moderation”? Rachel Bernstein is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Cult Specialist & the Host of the IndoctriNation Podcast. She has spent the last 35 years helping former cult members & those who have had loved ones in cults, focusing on emotional abuse recovery, identity repair & moral injury.  In this episode she explains the psychology of political allegiance, why religion & politics always fuse together, thought stopping cliches & media influence vs media manipulation. This episode originally aired August 18, 2025  If you like this episode, you'll also like episode 229: IS YOUR HAPPINESS BEING POLITICIZED? CULTURE, CORTISOL & THE BRAIN Guest:https://rachelbernsteintherapy.com/ https://www.facebook.com/rachelbernsteintherapyhttps://www.instagram.com/indoctrinationpodcast/https://open.spotify.com/show/1prXo4iIxUfjYpfX671cUD?si=3522f54be4ae456fhttps://rachelbernsteintherapy.com/book--journal.html Sponsors: https://www.historicpensacola.org/about-us/  2:15 When We Get Vulnerable4:18 Easily Offended, Easily Swayed5:04 Are Parties Actually Cults?6:19 High-Control Groups, Explained8:13 The Death of Diplomacy9:35 Identity Over Ideas11:16 Why Religion and Politics Fuse13:34 Thought-Stopping Clichés16:34 Two Magnets, Same Playbook18:35 The Theocracy Blind Spot19:17 Allergic to Gray Areas20:15 The Seven Mountain Mandate22:32 Anything But Them23:06 Education as the Antidote25:35 Reacting vs. Acting27:54 You're Being Played31:12 Chasing Likes, Losing Truth32:59 Data Mining Is Grooming35:02 Nobody Taught Us This38:31 Where to Find the Truth42:10 Shrinking Your Data FootprintRequest to join my private Facebook Group, MFR Curious Insiders: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BAt3bpwJC/Follow me in all the places:https://www.meredithforreal.com/  https://www.instagram.com/the_curiousintrovert/ meredith@meredithforreal.comhttps://www.youtube.com/meredithforreal https://www.facebook.com/curiousintrovert

Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols  In this episode of Feel to Heal, Sharyn introduces The Fifth Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz: Be skeptical, but learn to listen. After exploring The Four Agreements, this episode invites listeners to go one step deeper by questioning the beliefs, stories, and inner voices they have inherited. So many of the thoughts we carry about ourselves were never consciously chosen. They were learned, absorbed, repeated, and eventually mistaken for truth. Sharyn explores how healthy skepticism can help us loosen our grip on old conditioning without becoming cynical or closed off. She also explains why deep listening is essential: listening to ourselves, to others, and to life with curiosity instead of judgment. This episode is a gentle invitation to stop believing every thought, question the stories that limit you, and listen for the truth beneath the noise. 5 Key Takeaways Many beliefs about your worth, needs and identity were absorbed from family, culture and past experiences rather than consciously chosen. Healthy skepticism is not cynical or dismissive; it is a gentle curiosity that asks whether an old story is actually the whole truth. Words, gestures and other symbols are interpreted through personal history, which is why two people can experience the same conversation very differently. Your inner critic may be an outdated recording shaped by people who carried their own fears, wounds and judgments. Healing begins when you create space between yourself and the story by remembering that you do not have to believe everything you think.   Feel To Heal: A Guide to Feeling, Healing, and Living from the Truth of Who You Are    Author Sharyn Nichols   Amazon.com – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1997615312 Amazon.ca – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1997615312     ~ More About Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols ~  Sharyn Nichols is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Wellness Practitioner with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals create lasting emotional well-being. By combining evidence-based therapy, mindfulness, somatic practices, and Human Design, she empowers clients to regulate their nervous systems, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Known for her compassionate, grounded approach, Sharyn creates a safe space for healing, growth, and transformation. She helps clients move beyond stress, emotional overwhelm, and survival mode to build deeper self-trust, healthier relationships, and a life guided by intention rather than reaction. If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic self and experience lasting change, Sharyn will help you discover what's truly possible.    FeelToHeal.com   https://feeltoheal.com/    Email   sharynnichols@feeltoheal.com    YouTube   www.youtube.com/@sharynnicholsFeelToHeal    LinkedIn   www.linkedin.com/in/sharyn-nichols-20526a95/    Instagram   www.instagram.com/feeltohealwithsharyn_    Facebook   www.facebook.com/FeelToHealwithSharyn       TikTok   www.tiktok.com/@sharynnichols   Feel To Heal with Sharyn Nichols: https://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/podcast/feel-to-heal-with-sharyn-nichols/

Wild animals live with danger every day and don't get traumatized. So why do you stay stuck? In this episode, you'll meet Bill, a father, husband, and business owner who can't see what's driving him. You'll also learn the two ways we keep ourselves stuck without noticing: we ignore the body's self-regulation impulses, and we reach for behaviors that let us avoid feeling what's actually there. Part 2 picks up the stories we tell ourselves.Chapters0:00 Why Wild Animals Don't Stay Traumatized0:41 Meet Justin & About This Audiobook1:43 Last Time: Co-Regulation2:02 Why Humans Stay Stuck in Trauma4:10 Meet Bill5:52 Bill, All Grown Up8:25 Ignoring Self-Regulation Impulses10:25 The Impulses Bill Ignores12:26 Behavioral Adaptations Keep You Stuck14:42 Bill's Behavioral Adaptation: Overworking15:15 Next Time: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Nothing is physically wrong, yet the moment sex starts to matter, your body stops cooperating. Why?In this solo episode, Todd Creager, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and relationship coach with more than 30 years in practice, opens a series on men's issues with one of the most common calls he gets: sexual performance anxiety. Men who reach out are stressed, frustrated and often carrying a lot of shame. Many have a partner who is taking it personally. Todd's message is direct and kind. This is something any man can overcome.Todd frames the problem through internal family systems, a model he has been using with clients because it is accurate and it works. Inside each of us are protective parts. One of them, the manager part, exists to keep us from ever feeling inadequate. For many men, that manager formed early, around moments of being judged or having to earn approval. The original wound lives on as an exile, a part that quietly believes "I'm not enough."The trouble is that the manager follows you into the bedroom, where it has no business being. Instead of being in your body, you are watching yourself from the outside, grading the performance and guessing what your partner is thinking. Monitoring kills presence, and presence is what allows the body to respond on its own. You cannot think your way into arousal. The manager is trying to prevent shame and creating the exact conditions that produce it.Todd also touches on how the same pattern shows up outside of sex, in athletic performance, sleep and even attempts to control blood pressure, anywhere we want an outcome we do not consciously control.The way through is not a better technique. Todd walks through how to recognize the manager, thank it for working so hard, and ask it to step back so the Self, with a capital S, can be in the room. That Self brings clarity, curiosity and compassion, and it is the part that can be with a partner in the here and now. When that happens, the anxiety has nowhere to stand. The body tends to do what it does naturally. That is never the goal, but it is the byproduct.If you or someone you know is dealing with performance anxiety, Todd is here to help. Listen in, and if this episode speaks to you, share it with a man who needs to hear it.Todd Creager, making the world safe for love. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclassTodd Creager, LCSW, LMFTTodd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach.  He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach.  (714) 848-2288.You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at:  https://toddcreager.com  HELPFUL LINKS:Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity Secrets to a Sexy Marriage:  https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYMBe...

Shirley Dvir, PhD, is the founder and lead teacher of Relational Somatic Healing and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She earned her PhD in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies, where her dissertation explored relational touch in psychotherapy for healing relational developmental trauma. Shirley has practiced psychotherapy since 1997, working with families, children, couples, and individuals, and spent more than 10 years teaching as a Certified Hakomi Teacher. Her training includes attachment, EMDR, Sensorimotor Trauma Therapy, Hakomi, family therapy, Craniosacral Therapy, and Body-Mind Centering.In This EpisodeDr. Shirley Dvir at Relational Somatic HealingRelational Somatic HealingRelational Somatic Healing TrainingsFoundations of RSH: The Art of Healthy RelatingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.---Thank you to our Sponsors: Jane App - use code GUY1MO at https://janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/ngvcwcxqt2jx-4afv8i (https://jane.app/book_a_demo)Beducated - Complete the quiz for one month free https://beduc.at/pd2640-traumatherapist

Your nervous system doesn't just calm down on its own — more often than you realize, it borrows the calm from somebody else. This episode covers co-regulation: the specific cues your body sends and reads without you ever thinking about it, eye contact, tone of voice, the tilt of a head, what it means if you don't have a self-regulated person in every part of your life, and what actually happened, biologically, in the room with Maria before her hands ever moved.

Send us Fan MailDr. Anna Elton, PhD, LMFT, CST Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and author of The Formula of Desirehttps://www.meetup.com/www.FloridaFiveChallenge.comSupport the Alzheimer's & Dementia Resource Center 

Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols  In this episode of Feel to Heal, Sharyn continues the Fourth Agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements: Always Do Your Best. This episode explores why the Fourth Agreement is the one that makes the first three agreements sustainable. Without compassion, “Be impeccable with your word,” “Don't take anything personally,” and “Don't make assumptions” can become another way to judge ourselves. Listeners are invited to practice growth without punishment, accountability without shame, and reflection without self-attack. This episode reminds us that healing is not about doing the agreements perfectly. It is about noticing, returning, and doing our honest best. 5 Key Takeaways The Fourth Agreement holds the other three together. “Always do your best” makes the other agreements sustainable without turning them into another reason to punish yourself. Doing your best means practicing imperfectly. You will sometimes say the wrong thing, take something personally, make assumptions, react from old wounds, or fall back into old patterns. There is a difference between reflection and punishment. Reflection asks what you can learn, repair, or support differently; punishment turns the experience into something wrong with you. Progress does not mean you never repeat an old pattern. Progress can mean noticing sooner, repairing faster, pausing before reacting, asking instead of assuming, or coming back to yourself more quickly. Doing your best is responsibility without shame. It includes apologizing, listening, repairing, getting support, and changing patterns without using mistakes as a reason to destroy yourself. Feel To Heal: A Guide to Feeling, Healing, and Living from the Truth of Who You Are    Author Sharyn Nichols   Amazon.com – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1997615312 Amazon.ca – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1997615312     ~ More About Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols ~  Sharyn Nichols is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Wellness Practitioner with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals create lasting emotional well-being. By combining evidence-based therapy, mindfulness, somatic practices, and Human Design, she empowers clients to regulate their nervous systems, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Known for her compassionate, grounded approach, Sharyn creates a safe space for healing, growth, and transformation. She helps clients move beyond stress, emotional overwhelm, and survival mode to build deeper self-trust, healthier relationships, and a life guided by intention rather than reaction. If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic self and experience lasting change, Sharyn will help you discover what's truly possible.    FeelToHeal.com   https://feeltoheal.com/    Email   sharynnichols@feeltoheal.com    YouTube   www.youtube.com/@sharynnicholsFeelToHeal    LinkedIn   www.linkedin.com/in/sharyn-nichols-20526a95/    Instagram   www.instagram.com/feeltohealwithsharyn_    Facebook   www.facebook.com/FeelToHealwithSharyn       TikTok   www.tiktok.com/@sharynnichols   Fell To Heal with Sharyn Nichols: https://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/podcast/feel-to-heal-with-sharyn-nichols/

Send us Fan MailSend us Fan MailIn this enlightening episode of Living the Dream with Curveball, we are joined by Joey Payne, a licensed marriage and family therapist and couples coach dedicated to helping partners reconnect and rediscover intimacy. With over 31 years of marriage experience and a background in trauma recovery, Joey shares her mission to guide couples out of the "roommate phase" and into a thriving relationship filled with love and connection.Joey opens up about her journey from hairstylist to therapist, revealing the patterns she observed in relationships that led her to create the Relationship Revival Blueprint, a 12-week program designed to help couples move from disconnection to deep connection. She discusses the importance of recognizing early warning signs of relationship drift and provides listeners with practical tools, including a free marriage drift audit available on her website, joeypaynecoaching.comThroughout the episode, Joey emphasizes the significance of communication in rebuilding intimacy and emotional safety, as well as the role of unresolved trauma in affecting relationships. She also highlights the potential for couples to grow together after major life transitions, encouraging listeners to invest in their relationships for lasting happiness.What You'll Learn in This Episode:- The signs of relationship drift and how to identify them- Insights into the Relationship Revival Blueprint and its three phases- Practical steps to reconnect with your partner starting tonight- The impact of unresolved trauma on intimacy and connection- Tips for navigating major life transitions as a coupleFor more information on Joey Payne and her work, visit joeypaynecoaching.com and take the first step towards a more connected partnership.Support the show

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses what to do when someone you know is suicidal. My 21-year-old nephew is an atheist, uses substances to drown his sorrows, and has put his hands on his mother more than once. We lost a sibling to suicide, so that might be why my sister is overprotective. The hosts discuss why betrayed women are reluctant to get help for themselves. How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without supporting the lesbian lifestyle? My daughter is in a lesbian relationship, and we are Christians who want to love and support her while staying true to our beliefs. New Life Live — Program Transcript Air Date: September 10 Hosts: Brian Perez, Dr. Alice Benton (Clinical Psychologist), and Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), with a visit from New Life President Becky Brown Welcome to New Life Live, the premier place to receive free advice from Christian psychologists and counselors for the mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges you face. Since 1988, we’ve offered compassionate responses that combine God’s truth with proven psychological principles to guide you toward healing. Our phone lines are open. Call us now at 1-800-229-3000. Opening: A Conversation About Suicide Awareness Brian Perez: Hey, welcome to New Life Live. Thank you so much for joining us today. My name is Brian Perez. I’m here with clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton and licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris. Ladies, it is so good to be here with you today. Jacqui, what’s on your mind to start us off? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, with it being Suicide Awareness Day, I have been thinking about how important suicide conversations are and how difficult they are. You know, sometimes we notice that somebody’s not themselves and maybe they’re withdrawing or talking about being too much of a burden, saying people would be better off without them. Maybe they’ve started to seem hopeless or wanting to get rid of things, and we start to worry about their safety. But then we become afraid ourselves, and in our fear we don’t ask the question. I’ve found amongst my friends and family and even clients that people are often surprised when I very directly say, “Are you thinking about ending your life? Are you thinking about suicide? Are you thinking about harming yourself? Are you thinking about harming someone else?” And it’s because we don’t want to make people feel bad. So out of our own fear, we don’t do the very thing someone needs. I have heard people say, “Well, I don’t want to cause them to do that,” or “I don’t want to put it on their mind if it’s not already on their mind.” But asking someone directly about suicide doesn’t put the idea in their head. It actually lets them know that you see them, you care about them, that they matter, and that you’re willing to hear what they have to say. And as Christians, sometimes I think we feel pressured to immediately give a scripture, or “I’ll pray for you,” or tell people, “God has a plan.” And yes, those things are true and they can be meaningful, but it’s often not the right answer. Often people just simply need you to be willing to stay. They need to know that they matter enough that even though they are in pain, and their pain hurts you, you will sit with them — that they do matter. So listen. Don’t judge. Don’t minimize their pain — “Oh, it’s fine, we all go through things like that,” or “That happened a long time ago, you should be over that by now.” Don’t try to fix everything in the moment. Sometimes people just need to sit in what hurts, and that is okay. Help them connect to someone who can provide support. Help them connect to New Life. Help them connect to a counselor. Help them find a Life Recovery Group so that they can be around other people who can help them see their own value. Suicide prevention doesn’t always begin with having great words or the perfect words. Sometimes it’s just noticing that someone is struggling and being willing to stay. Dr. Alice Benton: I find that those who are suffering usually want to be asked and wish people would ask them. And you don’t have to be a therapist to ask. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Because if your loved one says, “Yes, I want to hurt myself, I do want to die,” then it can be as simple as calling us at New Life. It can be as simple as calling the suicide prevention hotline, 988. I’ve called 988 in order to get a sense of what happens when someone calls. I found that the person who answered was well equipped, so kind, and very patient. They know what to do. We know what to do. All you have to do, if your loved one says they want to hurt themselves, is reach out for help from professionals, and we’ll walk you through what to do next. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: And I think sharing that also with our kids. I had a conversation with someone whose child came home and said their friend told them that they’d been wanting to hurt themselves, and the kid didn’t know what to do. So we were able to say, “Walk them to the nurse’s office, walk them to the principal’s office, walk them to an adult, and stay with them and have that conversation.” It’s a conversation my family also has from time to time, knowing that the increase in suicidal ideation is so strong today. Our kids need to be equipped. Dr. Alice Benton: They do. They’re out in the world, and people say mean things, and so we need to tell them that their life matters and that they can talk to us about anything. Brian Perez: Yep. We’ll be right back on New Life Live. Gigi, you’ll be our first call, so hang on. Resources Mentioned Brian Perez: Since we were just on the topic of suicide, I want to let you know about a couple of articles that we have available on our website, newlife.com. One of them is called “What to Do When Someone Is Suicidal.” It probably has the information that Jacqui just gave, maybe some extra stuff as well. So check that out at newlife.com. We also have a tip sheet. If you yourself have that suicidal thinking, it’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” We can send you that tip sheet when you call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Or, you know what, just order that tip sheet anyway. Have it handy just in case something happens and you wind up having a conversation with someone. Again, that one’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” Call us to get it. And if you’re watching on Facebook or YouTube, we’ll put that information in the show notes there. Caller: Gigi from Orlando, Florida Brian Perez: Let’s go to the phones now. Here is Gigi, who listens to us on newlife.com in Orlando, Florida. Hey there, Gigi. Welcome to New Life Live. Gigi: Thank you. Brian Perez: How can we help you today? Gigi: This topic is kind of multifaceted, but it comes down to things like boundaries. I’m an aunt watching my sister deal with my nephew and the havoc that he’s wreaking on my sister’s marriage, and it’s just hard to watch. He’s 21. We’re a Christian family. He was brought up to know the Lord, and he’s saying that he’s an atheist. And he’s so bitter against all of us, his parents. He’s using substances to drown his sorrows. And it could be worse — I don’t want it to be worse — but he’s had trouble controlling his emotions and anger and has put his hands on his mother more than once, but not recently. And she still is in denial. She’ll tell me one thing and then deny it the next, because it’s hard. She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him. But it’s too late now. We don’t feel safe. And it’s just hard. Dr. Alice Benton: Can I pause you for a minute? She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him — so she doesn’t want the family to react negatively to his behavior and kind of not want him around. Is that what you’re saying? Gigi: Yes, that’s correct. Dr. Alice Benton: And he doesn’t want to be around you guys either, right? Gigi: Yeah, he’s decided he’s atheist, and so, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: You said he put hands on his mother more than once. Were there any consequences for that? Gigi: Yes. The police came. He had to be bailed out of jail. They hired an attorney. It could have been worse. It was him struggling against the police that actually got him in trouble, and the fact that she had called because she was scared. So she blames herself for that, because he won’t let that go. He’s 21. This has happened over the course of a few years that he’s just drowned in sorrow and blaming. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, he still lives with her. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. Dr. Alice Benton: And you said her husband — is her husband his father? Gigi: Oh yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So is he that way with his father as well? Gigi: His father loves him, but he doesn’t have his son’s respect, and his son doesn’t trust his dad — and I think it’s both ways. I think my sister is his soul. She’s the person he’s latched onto for life. And with torture or love, he does something bad and then apologizes. Dr. Alice Benton: Gigi, you’re so right to be worried about her, because she loves him, but she’s also trying to protect him from the righteous consequences of his behavior, and it’s just a setup for him to repeat it. Tell us, do you know if he experienced a major loss or trauma that might have led to him being so embittered? Gigi: My sister would say that it is because they took him across country when he was in high school, because of a job for his dad. And while they were there, he was sad and lonely — first time in high school. A young lady broke his heart and said many awful things, and he has low self-image issues. But he’ll drag everything up. It’s amazing the memory we have when we are wanting to be bitter and resentful. He blame-shifts a lot onto them. Dr. Alice Benton: Blame-shifting is very — Gigi: Yes, I didn’t know that phrase. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s understandable that he’s hurt by these things, but of course none of it justifies his substance use and his aggressive behavior towards his mom. And she is not willing to allow the consequences for him. But she does want you to be a listening ear, which puts you in a tough position, because you probably want to intervene and she won’t allow you to. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. It’s amazing how quickly our brains go from one thing to another. I will be wanting to encourage her, and then I have to stand up for logic, and then we pray together, and it’s so emotional all the time. I have other siblings, and they don’t want to hear it anymore, and it makes her feel so bad. And she can’t help but want to call us bad names. Dr. Alice Benton: Oh, she’s calling you all bad names. Gigi: Oh yes, yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So she’s verbally abusive to you, even though you’re her listener? Gigi: Yes, because we are not living up to her needs and expectations. So the son might have gotten it honestly. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I — Gigi: Yes, but I know my whole sister. You know what I mean? I know — Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: You know what you see when you’re with her? I’m going to stop you there, because we have a tendency to say we know, but oftentimes we are in relationship with people in our imaginations, not the reality of how they live their life every day, because we’re not there. So we think we know — “My sister would do this,” or “My sister’s this way or that way.” But look at her life and the life circumstance that she’s in. The sister you were about to describe, that you know, wouldn’t be living in this life circumstance. So she has a part of her that isn’t the her you guys know. It is also maybe not the parent you’ve always seen. Dr. Alice Benton: Dr. Jacqui was asking about any events that maybe had happened in his life. That move happened when he was in high school. He maybe felt like he had no say in it. They moved him. He lost friends. Loneliness. She is his person. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: “You’ve got your family. That’s enough. That’s all you need, right?” Well, if she is his person, I wonder what things had been like before he turned 21. What was it like when he was five? What were the responses when he was seven? What were the responses when he was 12? What happened when he got an F? What happened when he lost the game? Because if she’s willing to mistreat you all like that, it is so likely she responds to him in reactivity and anger, too. Dr. Alice Benton: And they’re back and forth in their reactivity, and then he’s now a man and he’s getting bigger, and so it’s starting to look different. And the family doesn’t enjoy being around him. Have you guys — when he was younger — did you enjoy being together as a family with your sister and her husband and your nephew? Gigi: Well, my sister saved him. He was always bailed out. He had two older sisters, so he was always saying, “I’ll have what she’s having,” and “Oh, she’s going to help me with my homework,” things like that. He was given a lot of leniency because he was the baby. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: The baby. Gigi: Yeah. If he just said “Mama” enough, he was going to get his way — or get a spanking. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So would the spanking be from Mom? Gigi: Oh yeah. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So he had a situation that might have been a little bit disorganized, and so he couldn’t tell if he’s going to get the wrath of Mom or the coddling of Mom. Gigi: That is true. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: What was childhood like for you and your sister? Gigi: Well, I just want to touch on something else. My sister was a great mother. I know exactly what she was going through. I saw it up front. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: No judgment. We all do the best we can with what we have. But what did you guys come out of? What did you see? How were you parented? Gigi: We had parents that were Christian. We all could have been better. But I can tell you, we had a sorrowful loss in 2007. My sister — she committed suicide. There’s too much to even go into, but the point is she was an angel. She loved Jesus, and she had some mental illness that — well, we failed her in fellowship, too. I feel like we did. My sister does not want another angel. Do you know what I mean? Dr. Alice Benton: Of course. So she might overprotect her son because she doesn’t want him to commit suicide. That completely makes sense. That is it. Dr. Alice Benton: So, Gigi, I think there are two things that you have in your power to do, because so much of this is outside of your ability to really control. You might consider a family intervention, because your nephew is the obvious problem, but you’re pointing out there is brokenness in the family — and there is in all of our families. A family interventionist, and we have a couple of great people that we can recommend, would be able to help decipher who most needs the intervention. The nephew looks like the obvious one, but he may not be the only one. An intervention brings to bear truth about how the chaotic behavior is affecting the family — that’s the way your sister abuses you, but it’s also the way the nephew abuses your sister. And it offers options for healing, but their response to that is out of your control, as you well know. And so if your sister continues to be abusive to you, you may have to start protecting yourself by limiting your exposure to her. She’s getting all this free therapy from you. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Oh, I wouldn’t call it therapy. Dr. Alice Benton: Well, you’re her good listening ear. But because you’re her main listener, I think she doesn’t know she needs more help, or she’s not willing or able to go get more professional help. And you need some of that responsibility taken off of your shoulders and transferred to a professional. I have the feeling your sister’s not real willing to get help. Gigi: Well, the good news on that end — all these months that I have been harping on “You need somebody to talk to, you need somebody to tell you how to talk it over with” — she’s got a therapist. Dr. Alice Benton: Terrific. God is good. So celebrating that is right to do. But you still can limit your exposure to her. So that may be, “I’ve got five minutes to listen to you. If you get mean, if you get loud, I will hang up.” Gigi: Oh wow. Dr. Alice Benton: Or, “I’m not willing to hear about this anymore. Please take this to your therapist.” Gigi, you said “Oh wow” twice. What has come up for you? Gigi: That just breaks my heart. Wow. Dr. Alice Benton: You want to find a way to fix it without her having to suffer the consequences. In the same way, she wants to find a way to fix it for her son without him having to face the consequences. She’s not going to grow without the consequence. If you continue to subject yourself to her behavior, you are doing exactly what she is doing with her son. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: How does that land, Gigi? Gigi: She’s been there for all of us every time we needed her. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Would she tell you wonderful things about her son? It’s the same cycle. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, oddly enough, removing yourself to some distance — it loves her better than just being her listener, because it will force more discomfort, which makes it more likely that she’ll receive the help she’s getting from her therapist. Brian Perez: Gigi, thanks for calling us today here on New Life Live. We know we offered you a lot of suggestions, and go back and listen to the archive so that you can find out more. New Life President Becky Brown Joins the Program Brian Perez: We are back on New Life. Brian Perez here, along with doctors Jacqui Mack-Harris and Alice Benton. And look who’s joining us — it’s New Life President Becky Brown. Hey, Becky. Becky Brown: Hello. Surprise. My heart is hurting for Gigi and her family. So many times we hear the efforts that people are putting into trying to fix the problem. And I’m so grateful that we are here for her to reach out and talk to both you, Jacqui, and Alice, with that compassionate care and insightful truth that you gave her. And you gave her next steps. The only way we can do that is because people are generous and support New Life. They’ve been either part of our 99 for the One monthly donation, or they give big gifts, because out of the abundance that God has given them, they want to give back to make sure that the hope of a new life is there. I was thinking about “Every Man’s Battle,” and we hear so many testimonies. One in particular: Nick felt dead inside. Pornography, lust, and affairs gave him temporary relief, but the emptiness always returned. And while he tried different programs, he was stuck and began to lose hope. His wife gave him an ultimatum — and we hear that a lot here. She said, “You need to go to Every Man’s Battle.” He was hesitant, but he went, and he discovered what was fueling the addiction. He had a safe, shame-free zone and godly counselors who have been on this journey. They know what it’s like to be stuck and to find that freedom in Christ. New Life has had the privilege to walk alongside so many people for close to 40 years. And we couldn’t do it unless God was moving in the hearts of you, our donors and our listeners, to be part of what God is doing through New Life. So I just wanted to come on today and encourage you: if you have not supported us yet, today’s the day. And Brian, how can they give? Brian Perez: Oh, there’s several ways, Becky. They can go online to newlife.com. They can call us at 1-800-NEW-LIFE. They can text NLM — as in New Life Ministries — to 28950. And yeah, if you want to make a big gift today, we are not going to say, “No, no, no, let’s break it up into two or three gifts.” No, no — we’ll take it, because we appreciate so much what you guys do, what the Lord lays on your heart to give toward New Life so that we can continue what we’re doing. And sometimes it’s people like our last caller, Becky, who are calling on behalf of someone else, because they see the turmoil that their family is going through, or a friend or a neighbor. They call because they’re like, “You know what, I trust you guys, you can help. Give me some tips to help my friend. Give me a tip sheet that I can give my friend, because there’s so much going on.” And there’s not too many places — I can’t even think of one — where somebody on a live program would pick up a phone call. We don’t know what you’re going to ask. We don’t know what the situation is. And we are ready to give you the next step, because we know that God is working through the ministry and through our incredible co-hosts. Becky Brown: We’ve been doing this a long time. We’ve been helping so many people, and you’re probably one of them, listener. You’ve been impacted. And so today’s the day. Thanks for letting me jump on, and let’s go back to the calls. Brian Perez: Anytime, Becky. Anytime. It’s so good to hear from Becky when she tells us these stories of listeners that she’s heard firsthand of how New Life Ministries has helped. And I remember recently, Alice, you were talking about how there were things you were going through — you didn’t even know New Life was around, and then you found New Life, and boom. Dr. Alice Benton: That’s right. Even though I grew up in the faith, and I went to college for psychology, I really hadn’t found a resource that combined those two things together. And that’s what New Life does very uniquely. It shows us how the two go hand in hand and are both necessary for our healing. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I love that New Life exists, because I came up in a church where psychology was bad, and so the church would tell you not to see a therapist — all you need is the Bible, and your pastor. If your pastor doesn’t say it, then you shouldn’t hear it. And so it was a joy for me to find New Life and to find these professionals who have this wisdom, who are God-led, who come prayed up and ready to see what the Holy Spirit will use them to do. Over the years I’ve been able to have conversations with and meet so many people who love New Life, who call in and who listen regularly. It’s a gift to our community, and we really appreciate that people continue to give so that we can continue to serve. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s not just about listening and receiving the wisdom, but about putting it into practice, especially with the New Life family that believes in these principles together, knows they’re broken, and wants to heal and is actively taking those steps. Because wisdom alone, information alone, is not enough. It needs to be practiced with other people. That’s that iron that sharpens iron. And I’ve never found better iron than at New Life. Brian Perez: Those formative years for me too were also, you know, no psychology — just whatever your pastor says, that’s all you need. Psychology was just man’s wisdom instead of God’s wisdom. Well, here at New Life, we combine these things, and we put God’s word first in front of everything that we do, because that’s what it’s all about. We’re not here to just tell you what we think — we search the scriptures and we give you godly advice, and we want to keep doing it. So if you can help us today, go to newlife.com, or call 1-800-NEW-LIFE, or text NLM to 28950. Thank you for your generosity. Email Question: Debbie Brian Perez: So we have several ways that you can ask your question. Our favorite way is when you call into the studio when we’re here taking calls, and you can find out more about that on our website, newlife.com/radio, which shows our recording schedule. It also gives you a phone number where you can leave a voicemail. And there’s also a form that you can fill out so that you can send us an email with your question. That is what Debbie did. Debbie asks, “How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without giving support to the lesbian lifestyle?” Debbie says her daughter is in a lesbian relationship. She’s never exhibited this tendency before. She’s not had any boyfriends, but she’s wanted one desperately. They’re Christian; she’s been raised in the church. She thinks God is okay with her lifestyle. “So how do I love and support her?” What do you guys say to Debbie? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I say love her and support her as the person. That’s hard, though, I think, for Debbie to be able to do, because Debbie’s not able to separate out her daughter’s relational activity from the person that she is. What I would wonder is: what has your relationship with her been like? What does love look like? What does it mean to love someone? I would go to scripture and look at what scripture says about love, and see if those are thoughts, tenets, behaviors, ways of being that you find in your relationship with your daughter. And then this is something I ask people regularly: how is that other person’s sex life affecting you? I think as Christians, we spend an enormous amount of time concerned about other people’s sexual health and sex life, and I just don’t see God being nearly as concerned about everybody else’s sex life as we are. I think we as Christians have made that a focal point, and we are doing a disservice. We are not introducing people to Jesus. We’re introducing people to rules and propriety, and Jesus came to set us free. Either we are free in Christ or we are not. And if I help someone know Jesus — I’ve introduced them to Jesus, I’ve walked through the Roman Road with them, they’ve accepted Christ and they know Jesus — the rest is not my business. I trust the Holy Spirit to do what he’s going to do. And if they end up in a homosexual relationship, drug-addicted, in a violent abusive relationship, anything — that is between them and God at that point. All God has called me to do is love God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love others as I love myself. So I think as Christians, we have to check ourselves. We are the ones falling out of line. I don’t have anything to do with your marriage — whether you are in a same-sex marriage or a gendered marriage, I have nothing to do with that. What God has called me to do is to help you know Jesus. And if I’ve done that, then I know I’ve done my work, and I trust the Holy Spirit to handle anything that God’s not pleased with. Dr. Alice Benton: Debbie, your question must have a lot of fear and pain to it, and I know I would feel similarly if I were in your shoes. We’re getting this question more and more frequently from other parents who wonder, “Why did my good Christian upbringing not seem to stick in this area of my child’s life?” — especially when your daughter sounds like she expressed a desire for a boyfriend for a long time. What a shock that she then introduces you to her girlfriend. I think you will not like some of the things that I have to say, because getting to know her partner is a way to love her and to love the partner. But I think that might not feel right to you to do. I think you can be a Christian influence in both of their lives more by your actions than by your words of opposition. There could be a tendency towards judgmentalism out of your fear — and I would have that same tendency in your shoes. And you might possibly be wondering, “Did I fail my daughter? What did I do wrong that this is a choice she has made?” So I want you to be really careful about judgmentalism coming out. I also think we are called to warn other believers when we see that there is sin behavior, or to warn those who are stumbling toward the edge. So I think it’s a parental obligation to say — once, with a whole lot of love and kindness and humility — “I am an imperfect parent, and I also need to point something out, because I love you so much. I am confused that you’re both a Christian and you’re choosing a homosexual relationship. What’s your understanding of what the Bible has to say about that? I really want to understand your perspective as a Christian.” Be more of a listener, Debbie, than a speaker. But once, it’s important to conclude with, “I disagree with you. I think this part of your relationship is out of alignment with God’s will, and I need to point that out because I love you and I don’t want you to have unnecessary suffering in your life. All the times I’ve been out of alignment with God’s will — my lying, my extramarital emotional affair, my excessive alcohol use — I was out of alignment with his will, and it brought suffering on me too. So I’m going to keep loving you, I’m going to keep praying for you, and I thank you that you heard this conversation from me.” That’s what I would have you share with your daughter. There’s a great book called Embodied by Preston Sprinkle. He’s a clinician who has specialized in this very thing: What do we do with both Christianity and same-sex desire, and how do we love well? And we do it a lot more with behavior than with words. Brian Perez: Isn’t loving and supporting the partner — Debbie was asking about her daughter, and you both gave great advice, but when we bring the partner into it, doesn’t it seem like we’re condoning the behavior? We’ve got the holidays coming up. People are going to probably start calling soon: “Do I invite them to Thanksgiving dinner? Do I invite them to our Christmas celebration?” Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I think, like Alice said, this is an opportunity for your witness. And it honestly doesn’t matter if you agree with the lifestyle or not. You’ve said you don’t agree — so in that, you have said, “This isn’t something I think is okay. I love you, but I’m concerned for you. I’m concerned for how this will impact your life.” That is your “I don’t agree.” But we are called to love others. We’re called to love our enemies. We’re called to love our neighbors. We’re called to love ourselves. We’re called to love God. We are not called to not love anybody. Period. And we are not doing a great job of that as Christians. So I agree that is one way to show your daughter love and acceptance of her as a person. You don’t have to accept someone’s experience or their life in order to validate them as a person. And so when her friend comes over, you have boundaries in place regardless of whether your child is dating someone you approve of or not, right? Hopefully they respect your home and they respect your rules. But you get to set boundaries. And you’re right, the holidays are coming up, and this definitely is going to be a topic at many tables, because some families are estranged, because it is preferable to not have the other person around than to have that discomfort of, “Well, we disagree with this lifestyle.” But I agree with Dr. Alice. I think it can be a way that your Christian witness can go forward. We have people in our life who don’t believe how we believe, and whose actions and behaviors are not the same as our own, but they know us and love us, and we know them and we love them. Dr. Alice Benton: If I had no sinners at my table, I wouldn’t be allowed there either. And Jesus gave a pretty neat example of going to the parties that were full of sinners, because the sinners are the ones that need him. I’m the one that needs him. Brian Perez: Yep. Debbie, thanks for submitting your question at newlife.com/radio. We’ll talk to you next time. Thanks for listening. We hope this program has helped you by giving you insights for handling the challenges you face in your life. We want you to know that we’re here for you, but you also need to know that New Life Live is a listener-supported ministry. To make your donation or to get any of the resources mentioned on today’s program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. That’s 1-800-639-5433, or online at newlife.com. Please join us again tomorrow for New Life Live. If you or someone you know is struggling If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide or self-harm, you don’t have to face it alone. Call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or reach out to New Life at 1-800-NEW-LIFE (1-800-639-5433).

Whole Mother welcomes Moni Tang, M.A., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Texas and Oregon, LMFT Supervisor in Texas, and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional (PMH-C) to introduce the Houston Moms Collective and discuss ways parents can set themselves up … Continue reading →

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses what to do when someone you know is suicidal. My 21-year-old nephew is an atheist, uses substances to drown his sorrows, and has put his hands on his mother more than once. We lost a sibling to suicide, so that might be why my sister is overprotective. The hosts discuss why betrayed women are reluctant to get help for themselves. How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without supporting the lesbian lifestyle? My daughter is in a lesbian relationship, and we are Christians who want to love and support her while staying true to our beliefs. New Life Live — Program Transcript Air Date: September 10 Hosts: Brian Perez, Dr. Alice Benton (Clinical Psychologist), and Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), with a visit from New Life President Becky Brown Welcome to New Life Live, the premier place to receive free advice from Christian psychologists and counselors for the mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges you face. Since 1988, we’ve offered compassionate responses that combine God’s truth with proven psychological principles to guide you toward healing. Our phone lines are open. Call us now at 1-800-229-3000. Opening: A Conversation About Suicide Awareness Brian Perez: Hey, welcome to New Life Live. Thank you so much for joining us today. My name is Brian Perez. I’m here with clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton and licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris. Ladies, it is so good to be here with you today. Jacqui, what’s on your mind to start us off? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, with it being Suicide Awareness Day, I have been thinking about how important suicide conversations are and how difficult they are. You know, sometimes we notice that somebody’s not themselves and maybe they’re withdrawing or talking about being too much of a burden, saying people would be better off without them. Maybe they’ve started to seem hopeless or wanting to get rid of things, and we start to worry about their safety. But then we become afraid ourselves, and in our fear we don’t ask the question. I’ve found amongst my friends and family and even clients that people are often surprised when I very directly say, “Are you thinking about ending your life? Are you thinking about suicide? Are you thinking about harming yourself? Are you thinking about harming someone else?” And it’s because we don’t want to make people feel bad. So out of our own fear, we don’t do the very thing someone needs. I have heard people say, “Well, I don’t want to cause them to do that,” or “I don’t want to put it on their mind if it’s not already on their mind.” But asking someone directly about suicide doesn’t put the idea in their head. It actually lets them know that you see them, you care about them, that they matter, and that you’re willing to hear what they have to say. And as Christians, sometimes I think we feel pressured to immediately give a scripture, or “I’ll pray for you,” or tell people, “God has a plan.” And yes, those things are true and they can be meaningful, but it’s often not the right answer. Often people just simply need you to be willing to stay. They need to know that they matter enough that even though they are in pain, and their pain hurts you, you will sit with them — that they do matter. So listen. Don’t judge. Don’t minimize their pain — “Oh, it’s fine, we all go through things like that,” or “That happened a long time ago, you should be over that by now.” Don’t try to fix everything in the moment. Sometimes people just need to sit in what hurts, and that is okay. Help them connect to someone who can provide support. Help them connect to New Life. Help them connect to a counselor. Help them find a Life Recovery Group so that they can be around other people who can help them see their own value. Suicide prevention doesn’t always begin with having great words or the perfect words. Sometimes it’s just noticing that someone is struggling and being willing to stay. Dr. Alice Benton: I find that those who are suffering usually want to be asked and wish people would ask them. And you don’t have to be a therapist to ask. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Because if your loved one says, “Yes, I want to hurt myself, I do want to die,” then it can be as simple as calling us at New Life. It can be as simple as calling the suicide prevention hotline, 988. I’ve called 988 in order to get a sense of what happens when someone calls. I found that the person who answered was well equipped, so kind, and very patient. They know what to do. We know what to do. All you have to do, if your loved one says they want to hurt themselves, is reach out for help from professionals, and we’ll walk you through what to do next. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: And I think sharing that also with our kids. I had a conversation with someone whose child came home and said their friend told them that they’d been wanting to hurt themselves, and the kid didn’t know what to do. So we were able to say, “Walk them to the nurse’s office, walk them to the principal’s office, walk them to an adult, and stay with them and have that conversation.” It’s a conversation my family also has from time to time, knowing that the increase in suicidal ideation is so strong today. Our kids need to be equipped. Dr. Alice Benton: They do. They’re out in the world, and people say mean things, and so we need to tell them that their life matters and that they can talk to us about anything. Brian Perez: Yep. We’ll be right back on New Life Live. Gigi, you’ll be our first call, so hang on. Resources Mentioned Brian Perez: Since we were just on the topic of suicide, I want to let you know about a couple of articles that we have available on our website, newlife.com. One of them is called “What to Do When Someone Is Suicidal.” It probably has the information that Jacqui just gave, maybe some extra stuff as well. So check that out at newlife.com. We also have a tip sheet. If you yourself have that suicidal thinking, it’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” We can send you that tip sheet when you call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Or, you know what, just order that tip sheet anyway. Have it handy just in case something happens and you wind up having a conversation with someone. Again, that one’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” Call us to get it. And if you’re watching on Facebook or YouTube, we’ll put that information in the show notes there. Caller: Gigi from Orlando, Florida Brian Perez: Let’s go to the phones now. Here is Gigi, who listens to us on newlife.com in Orlando, Florida. Hey there, Gigi. Welcome to New Life Live. Gigi: Thank you. Brian Perez: How can we help you today? Gigi: This topic is kind of multifaceted, but it comes down to things like boundaries. I’m an aunt watching my sister deal with my nephew and the havoc that he’s wreaking on my sister’s marriage, and it’s just hard to watch. He’s 21. We’re a Christian family. He was brought up to know the Lord, and he’s saying that he’s an atheist. And he’s so bitter against all of us, his parents. He’s using substances to drown his sorrows. And it could be worse — I don’t want it to be worse — but he’s had trouble controlling his emotions and anger and has put his hands on his mother more than once, but not recently. And she still is in denial. She’ll tell me one thing and then deny it the next, because it’s hard. She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him. But it’s too late now. We don’t feel safe. And it’s just hard. Dr. Alice Benton: Can I pause you for a minute? She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him — so she doesn’t want the family to react negatively to his behavior and kind of not want him around. Is that what you’re saying? Gigi: Yes, that’s correct. Dr. Alice Benton: And he doesn’t want to be around you guys either, right? Gigi: Yeah, he’s decided he’s atheist, and so, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: You said he put hands on his mother more than once. Were there any consequences for that? Gigi: Yes. The police came. He had to be bailed out of jail. They hired an attorney. It could have been worse. It was him struggling against the police that actually got him in trouble, and the fact that she had called because she was scared. So she blames herself for that, because he won’t let that go. He’s 21. This has happened over the course of a few years that he’s just drowned in sorrow and blaming. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, he still lives with her. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. Dr. Alice Benton: And you said her husband — is her husband his father? Gigi: Oh yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So is he that way with his father as well? Gigi: His father loves him, but he doesn’t have his son’s respect, and his son doesn’t trust his dad — and I think it’s both ways. I think my sister is his soul. She’s the person he’s latched onto for life. And with torture or love, he does something bad and then apologizes. Dr. Alice Benton: Gigi, you’re so right to be worried about her, because she loves him, but she’s also trying to protect him from the righteous consequences of his behavior, and it’s just a setup for him to repeat it. Tell us, do you know if he experienced a major loss or trauma that might have led to him being so embittered? Gigi: My sister would say that it is because they took him across country when he was in high school, because of a job for his dad. And while they were there, he was sad and lonely — first time in high school. A young lady broke his heart and said many awful things, and he has low self-image issues. But he’ll drag everything up. It’s amazing the memory we have when we are wanting to be bitter and resentful. He blame-shifts a lot onto them. Dr. Alice Benton: Blame-shifting is very — Gigi: Yes, I didn’t know that phrase. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s understandable that he’s hurt by these things, but of course none of it justifies his substance use and his aggressive behavior towards his mom. And she is not willing to allow the consequences for him. But she does want you to be a listening ear, which puts you in a tough position, because you probably want to intervene and she won’t allow you to. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. It’s amazing how quickly our brains go from one thing to another. I will be wanting to encourage her, and then I have to stand up for logic, and then we pray together, and it’s so emotional all the time. I have other siblings, and they don’t want to hear it anymore, and it makes her feel so bad. And she can’t help but want to call us bad names. Dr. Alice Benton: Oh, she’s calling you all bad names. Gigi: Oh yes, yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So she’s verbally abusive to you, even though you’re her listener? Gigi: Yes, because we are not living up to her needs and expectations. So the son might have gotten it honestly. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I — Gigi: Yes, but I know my whole sister. You know what I mean? I know — Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: You know what you see when you’re with her? I’m going to stop you there, because we have a tendency to say we know, but oftentimes we are in relationship with people in our imaginations, not the reality of how they live their life every day, because we’re not there. So we think we know — “My sister would do this,” or “My sister’s this way or that way.” But look at her life and the life circumstance that she’s in. The sister you were about to describe, that you know, wouldn’t be living in this life circumstance. So she has a part of her that isn’t the her you guys know. It is also maybe not the parent you’ve always seen. Dr. Alice Benton: Dr. Jacqui was asking about any events that maybe had happened in his life. That move happened when he was in high school. He maybe felt like he had no say in it. They moved him. He lost friends. Loneliness. She is his person. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: “You’ve got your family. That’s enough. That’s all you need, right?” Well, if she is his person, I wonder what things had been like before he turned 21. What was it like when he was five? What were the responses when he was seven? What were the responses when he was 12? What happened when he got an F? What happened when he lost the game? Because if she’s willing to mistreat you all like that, it is so likely she responds to him in reactivity and anger, too. Dr. Alice Benton: And they’re back and forth in their reactivity, and then he’s now a man and he’s getting bigger, and so it’s starting to look different. And the family doesn’t enjoy being around him. Have you guys — when he was younger — did you enjoy being together as a family with your sister and her husband and your nephew? Gigi: Well, my sister saved him. He was always bailed out. He had two older sisters, so he was always saying, “I’ll have what she’s having,” and “Oh, she’s going to help me with my homework,” things like that. He was given a lot of leniency because he was the baby. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: The baby. Gigi: Yeah. If he just said “Mama” enough, he was going to get his way — or get a spanking. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So would the spanking be from Mom? Gigi: Oh yeah. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So he had a situation that might have been a little bit disorganized, and so he couldn’t tell if he’s going to get the wrath of Mom or the coddling of Mom. Gigi: That is true. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: What was childhood like for you and your sister? Gigi: Well, I just want to touch on something else. My sister was a great mother. I know exactly what she was going through. I saw it up front. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: No judgment. We all do the best we can with what we have. But what did you guys come out of? What did you see? How were you parented? Gigi: We had parents that were Christian. We all could have been better. But I can tell you, we had a sorrowful loss in 2007. My sister — she committed suicide. There’s too much to even go into, but the point is she was an angel. She loved Jesus, and she had some mental illness that — well, we failed her in fellowship, too. I feel like we did. My sister does not want another angel. Do you know what I mean? Dr. Alice Benton: Of course. So she might overprotect her son because she doesn’t want him to commit suicide. That completely makes sense. That is it. Dr. Alice Benton: So, Gigi, I think there are two things that you have in your power to do, because so much of this is outside of your ability to really control. You might consider a family intervention, because your nephew is the obvious problem, but you’re pointing out there is brokenness in the family — and there is in all of our families. A family interventionist, and we have a couple of great people that we can recommend, would be able to help decipher who most needs the intervention. The nephew looks like the obvious one, but he may not be the only one. An intervention brings to bear truth about how the chaotic behavior is affecting the family — that’s the way your sister abuses you, but it’s also the way the nephew abuses your sister. And it offers options for healing, but their response to that is out of your control, as you well know. And so if your sister continues to be abusive to you, you may have to start protecting yourself by limiting your exposure to her. She’s getting all this free therapy from you. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Oh, I wouldn’t call it therapy. Dr. Alice Benton: Well, you’re her good listening ear. But because you’re her main listener, I think she doesn’t know she needs more help, or she’s not willing or able to go get more professional help. And you need some of that responsibility taken off of your shoulders and transferred to a professional. I have the feeling your sister’s not real willing to get help. Gigi: Well, the good news on that end — all these months that I have been harping on “You need somebody to talk to, you need somebody to tell you how to talk it over with” — she’s got a therapist. Dr. Alice Benton: Terrific. God is good. So celebrating that is right to do. But you still can limit your exposure to her. So that may be, “I’ve got five minutes to listen to you. If you get mean, if you get loud, I will hang up.” Gigi: Oh wow. Dr. Alice Benton: Or, “I’m not willing to hear about this anymore. Please take this to your therapist.” Gigi, you said “Oh wow” twice. What has come up for you? Gigi: That just breaks my heart. Wow. Dr. Alice Benton: You want to find a way to fix it without her having to suffer the consequences. In the same way, she wants to find a way to fix it for her son without him having to face the consequences. She’s not going to grow without the consequence. If you continue to subject yourself to her behavior, you are doing exactly what she is doing with her son. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: How does that land, Gigi? Gigi: She’s been there for all of us every time we needed her. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Would she tell you wonderful things about her son? It’s the same cycle. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, oddly enough, removing yourself to some distance — it loves her better than just being her listener, because it will force more discomfort, which makes it more likely that she’ll receive the help she’s getting from her therapist. Brian Perez: Gigi, thanks for calling us today here on New Life Live. We know we offered you a lot of suggestions, and go back and listen to the archive so that you can find out more. New Life President Becky Brown Joins the Program Brian Perez: We are back on New Life. Brian Perez here, along with doctors Jacqui Mack-Harris and Alice Benton. And look who’s joining us — it’s New Life President Becky Brown. Hey, Becky. Becky Brown: Hello. Surprise. My heart is hurting for Gigi and her family. So many times we hear the efforts that people are putting into trying to fix the problem. And I’m so grateful that we are here for her to reach out and talk to both you, Jacqui, and Alice, with that compassionate care and insightful truth that you gave her. And you gave her next steps. The only way we can do that is because people are generous and support New Life. They’ve been either part of our 99 for the One monthly donation, or they give big gifts, because out of the abundance that God has given them, they want to give back to make sure that the hope of a new life is there. I was thinking about “Every Man’s Battle,” and we hear so many testimonies. One in particular: Nick felt dead inside. Pornography, lust, and affairs gave him temporary relief, but the emptiness always returned. And while he tried different programs, he was stuck and began to lose hope. His wife gave him an ultimatum — and we hear that a lot here. She said, “You need to go to Every Man’s Battle.” He was hesitant, but he went, and he discovered what was fueling the addiction. He had a safe, shame-free zone and godly counselors who have been on this journey. They know what it’s like to be stuck and to find that freedom in Christ. New Life has had the privilege to walk alongside so many people for close to 40 years. And we couldn’t do it unless God was moving in the hearts of you, our donors and our listeners, to be part of what God is doing through New Life. So I just wanted to come on today and encourage you: if you have not supported us yet, today’s the day. And Brian, how can they give? Brian Perez: Oh, there’s several ways, Becky. They can go online to newlife.com. They can call us at 1-800-NEW-LIFE. They can text NLM — as in New Life Ministries — to 28950. And yeah, if you want to make a big gift today, we are not going to say, “No, no, no, let’s break it up into two or three gifts.” No, no — we’ll take it, because we appreciate so much what you guys do, what the Lord lays on your heart to give toward New Life so that we can continue what we’re doing. And sometimes it’s people like our last caller, Becky, who are calling on behalf of someone else, because they see the turmoil that their family is going through, or a friend or a neighbor. They call because they’re like, “You know what, I trust you guys, you can help. Give me some tips to help my friend. Give me a tip sheet that I can give my friend, because there’s so much going on.” And there’s not too many places — I can’t even think of one — where somebody on a live program would pick up a phone call. We don’t know what you’re going to ask. We don’t know what the situation is. And we are ready to give you the next step, because we know that God is working through the ministry and through our incredible co-hosts. Becky Brown: We’ve been doing this a long time. We’ve been helping so many people, and you’re probably one of them, listener. You’ve been impacted. And so today’s the day. Thanks for letting me jump on, and let’s go back to the calls. Brian Perez: Anytime, Becky. Anytime. It’s so good to hear from Becky when she tells us these stories of listeners that she’s heard firsthand of how New Life Ministries has helped. And I remember recently, Alice, you were talking about how there were things you were going through — you didn’t even know New Life was around, and then you found New Life, and boom. Dr. Alice Benton: That’s right. Even though I grew up in the faith, and I went to college for psychology, I really hadn’t found a resource that combined those two things together. And that’s what New Life does very uniquely. It shows us how the two go hand in hand and are both necessary for our healing. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I love that New Life exists, because I came up in a church where psychology was bad, and so the church would tell you not to see a therapist — all you need is the Bible, and your pastor. If your pastor doesn’t say it, then you shouldn’t hear it. And so it was a joy for me to find New Life and to find these professionals who have this wisdom, who are God-led, who come prayed up and ready to see what the Holy Spirit will use them to do. Over the years I’ve been able to have conversations with and meet so many people who love New Life, who call in and who listen regularly. It’s a gift to our community, and we really appreciate that people continue to give so that we can continue to serve. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s not just about listening and receiving the wisdom, but about putting it into practice, especially with the New Life family that believes in these principles together, knows they’re broken, and wants to heal and is actively taking those steps. Because wisdom alone, information alone, is not enough. It needs to be practiced with other people. That’s that iron that sharpens iron. And I’ve never found better iron than at New Life. Brian Perez: Those formative years for me too were also, you know, no psychology — just whatever your pastor says, that’s all you need. Psychology was just man’s wisdom instead of God’s wisdom. Well, here at New Life, we combine these things, and we put God’s word first in front of everything that we do, because that’s what it’s all about. We’re not here to just tell you what we think — we search the scriptures and we give you godly advice, and we want to keep doing it. So if you can help us today, go to newlife.com, or call 1-800-NEW-LIFE, or text NLM to 28950. Thank you for your generosity. Email Question: Debbie Brian Perez: So we have several ways that you can ask your question. Our favorite way is when you call into the studio when we’re here taking calls, and you can find out more about that on our website, newlife.com/radio, which shows our recording schedule. It also gives you a phone number where you can leave a voicemail. And there’s also a form that you can fill out so that you can send us an email with your question. That is what Debbie did. Debbie asks, “How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without giving support to the lesbian lifestyle?” Debbie says her daughter is in a lesbian relationship. She’s never exhibited this tendency before. She’s not had any boyfriends, but she’s wanted one desperately. They’re Christian; she’s been raised in the church. She thinks God is okay with her lifestyle. “So how do I love and support her?” What do you guys say to Debbie? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I say love her and support her as the person. That’s hard, though, I think, for Debbie to be able to do, because Debbie’s not able to separate out her daughter’s relational activity from the person that she is. What I would wonder is: what has your relationship with her been like? What does love look like? What does it mean to love someone? I would go to scripture and look at what scripture says about love, and see if those are thoughts, tenets, behaviors, ways of being that you find in your relationship with your daughter. And then this is something I ask people regularly: how is that other person’s sex life affecting you? I think as Christians, we spend an enormous amount of time concerned about other people’s sexual health and sex life, and I just don’t see God being nearly as concerned about everybody else’s sex life as we are. I think we as Christians have made that a focal point, and we are doing a disservice. We are not introducing people to Jesus. We’re introducing people to rules and propriety, and Jesus came to set us free. Either we are free in Christ or we are not. And if I help someone know Jesus — I’ve introduced them to Jesus, I’ve walked through the Roman Road with them, they’ve accepted Christ and they know Jesus — the rest is not my business. I trust the Holy Spirit to do what he’s going to do. And if they end up in a homosexual relationship, drug-addicted, in a violent abusive relationship, anything — that is between them and God at that point. All God has called me to do is love God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love others as I love myself. So I think as Christians, we have to check ourselves. We are the ones falling out of line. I don’t have anything to do with your marriage — whether you are in a same-sex marriage or a gendered marriage, I have nothing to do with that. What God has called me to do is to help you know Jesus. And if I’ve done that, then I know I’ve done my work, and I trust the Holy Spirit to handle anything that God’s not pleased with. Dr. Alice Benton: Debbie, your question must have a lot of fear and pain to it, and I know I would feel similarly if I were in your shoes. We’re getting this question more and more frequently from other parents who wonder, “Why did my good Christian upbringing not seem to stick in this area of my child’s life?” — especially when your daughter sounds like she expressed a desire for a boyfriend for a long time. What a shock that she then introduces you to her girlfriend. I think you will not like some of the things that I have to say, because getting to know her partner is a way to love her and to love the partner. But I think that might not feel right to you to do. I think you can be a Christian influence in both of their lives more by your actions than by your words of opposition. There could be a tendency towards judgmentalism out of your fear — and I would have that same tendency in your shoes. And you might possibly be wondering, “Did I fail my daughter? What did I do wrong that this is a choice she has made?” So I want you to be really careful about judgmentalism coming out. I also think we are called to warn other believers when we see that there is sin behavior, or to warn those who are stumbling toward the edge. So I think it’s a parental obligation to say — once, with a whole lot of love and kindness and humility — “I am an imperfect parent, and I also need to point something out, because I love you so much. I am confused that you’re both a Christian and you’re choosing a homosexual relationship. What’s your understanding of what the Bible has to say about that? I really want to understand your perspective as a Christian.” Be more of a listener, Debbie, than a speaker. But once, it’s important to conclude with, “I disagree with you. I think this part of your relationship is out of alignment with God’s will, and I need to point that out because I love you and I don’t want you to have unnecessary suffering in your life. All the times I’ve been out of alignment with God’s will — my lying, my extramarital emotional affair, my excessive alcohol use — I was out of alignment with his will, and it brought suffering on me too. So I’m going to keep loving you, I’m going to keep praying for you, and I thank you that you heard this conversation from me.” That’s what I would have you share with your daughter. There’s a great book called Embodied by Preston Sprinkle. He’s a clinician who has specialized in this very thing: What do we do with both Christianity and same-sex desire, and how do we love well? And we do it a lot more with behavior than with words. Brian Perez: Isn’t loving and supporting the partner — Debbie was asking about her daughter, and you both gave great advice, but when we bring the partner into it, doesn’t it seem like we’re condoning the behavior? We’ve got the holidays coming up. People are going to probably start calling soon: “Do I invite them to Thanksgiving dinner? Do I invite them to our Christmas celebration?” Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I think, like Alice said, this is an opportunity for your witness. And it honestly doesn’t matter if you agree with the lifestyle or not. You’ve said you don’t agree — so in that, you have said, “This isn’t something I think is okay. I love you, but I’m concerned for you. I’m concerned for how this will impact your life.” That is your “I don’t agree.” But we are called to love others. We’re called to love our enemies. We’re called to love our neighbors. We’re called to love ourselves. We’re called to love God. We are not called to not love anybody. Period. And we are not doing a great job of that as Christians. So I agree that is one way to show your daughter love and acceptance of her as a person. You don’t have to accept someone’s experience or their life in order to validate them as a person. And so when her friend comes over, you have boundaries in place regardless of whether your child is dating someone you approve of or not, right? Hopefully they respect your home and they respect your rules. But you get to set boundaries. And you’re right, the holidays are coming up, and this definitely is going to be a topic at many tables, because some families are estranged, because it is preferable to not have the other person around than to have that discomfort of, “Well, we disagree with this lifestyle.” But I agree with Dr. Alice. I think it can be a way that your Christian witness can go forward. We have people in our life who don’t believe how we believe, and whose actions and behaviors are not the same as our own, but they know us and love us, and we know them and we love them. Dr. Alice Benton: If I had no sinners at my table, I wouldn’t be allowed there either. And Jesus gave a pretty neat example of going to the parties that were full of sinners, because the sinners are the ones that need him. I’m the one that needs him. Brian Perez: Yep. Debbie, thanks for submitting your question at newlife.com/radio. We’ll talk to you next time. Thanks for listening. We hope this program has helped you by giving you insights for handling the challenges you face in your life. We want you to know that we’re here for you, but you also need to know that New Life Live is a listener-supported ministry. To make your donation or to get any of the resources mentioned on today’s program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. That’s 1-800-639-5433, or online at newlife.com. Please join us again tomorrow for New Life Live. If you or someone you know is struggling If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide or self-harm, you don’t have to face it alone. Call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or reach out to New Life at 1-800-NEW-LIFE (1-800-639-5433).

Sometimes the most useful information in the therapy room isn't in what someone says; it's in their hands. This episode breaks down self-regulation on a nervous system level: the two main ways we do it, top-down (thoughts) and bottom-up (body), why top-down tricks work in the moment but don't solve anything on their own, and a session with a client whose hands were saying something her voice wasn't.

Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols  In this episode of Feel to Heal, Sharyn begins the Fourth Agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements: Always Do Your Best. This episode explores what “doing your best” really means, and what it does not mean. Many of us were taught that our best should be the same every day, no matter what we are carrying. But our best changes depending on our energy, health, emotions, grief, responsibilities, and season of life. Listeners are invited to release the harsh version of “doing your best” and replace it with something more honest, compassionate, and sustainable: doing what is truly possible today, no more and no less. 5 Key Takeaways Doing your best does not mean being perfect. It means doing the best you can with what you actually have today—your current energy, responsibilities, nervous system, and capacity. Your best will change from moment to moment. What you can give when healthy, rested, and peaceful may be completely different from what you can give when exhausted, grieving, or struggling. Stop measuring a hard time by an easy time's standard. When life changes, your capacity changes, and that does not automatically mean you are failing. Doing your best does not mean doing the most. Sometimes your best means doing less, choosing sustainability over performance, resting, or honoring your limits. Ask yourself, “What is my honest best today?” Showing up honestly with what you truly have—no more and no less—creates less regret and unnecessary self-judgment. Feel To Heal: A Guide to Feeling, Healing, and Living from the Truth of Who You Are    Author Sharyn Nichols   Amazon.com – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1997615312 Amazon.ca – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1997615312     ~ More About Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols ~  Sharyn Nichols is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Wellness Practitioner with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals create lasting emotional well-being. By combining evidence-based therapy, mindfulness, somatic practices, and Human Design, she empowers clients to regulate their nervous systems, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Known for her compassionate, grounded approach, Sharyn creates a safe space for healing, growth, and transformation. She helps clients move beyond stress, emotional overwhelm, and survival mode to build deeper self-trust, healthier relationships, and a life guided by intention rather than reaction. If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic self and experience lasting change, Sharyn will help you discover what's truly possible.    FeelToHeal.com   https://feeltoheal.com/    Email   sharynnichols@feeltoheal.com    YouTube   www.youtube.com/@sharynnicholsFeelToHeal    LinkedIn   www.linkedin.com/in/sharyn-nichols-20526a95/    Instagram   www.instagram.com/feeltohealwithsharyn_    Facebook   www.facebook.com/FeelToHealwithSharyn       TikTok   www.tiktok.com/@sharynnichols   Fell To Heal with Sharyn Nichols: https://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/podcast/feel-to-heal-with-sharyn-nichols/

You can't just decide to calm down, but you can strengthen the thing that makes calming down possible. The vagal brake isn't a body part, it's the influence of your safety state on your heart, and it's what lets you move between mobility and stillness without dropping into full defense. Here's what it actually is, how to start strengthening it even if "feeling safe" is a foreign concept, and the two skills, pendulation and titration, that come out of a strong one.

Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols  In this episode of Feel to Heal, Sharyn concludes the three-part exploration of the Third Agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements: Don't Make Assumptions. This episode focuses on the daily practice of living with more clarity, emotional maturity, and tolerance for uncertainty. Sharyn explores how assumptions show up not only in relationships, but also in the way we judge ourselves, predict the future, and interpret our own healing journey. Listeners are guided through practical tools for separating facts from stories, asking direct questions, tolerating not knowing, and replacing fear-based assumptions with grounded truth. This episode is a compassionate reminder that peace often begins when we stop treating our guesses as facts. 5 Key Takeaways The goal is not to never make assumptions. The practice is to notice when you are assuming and choose clarity over fear. Separate what you know from the story you created. Ask yourself what is actually true, then identify what meaning you added on top of it. Ask direct questions instead of filling in the blanks. Clarifying what someone meant can interrupt anxiety, resentment, and the stories your mind creates. Learn to tolerate not knowing. You do not have to fill uncertainty with your worst fear; sometimes the most honest answer is simply, “I do not know yet.” Pause, name it, check, and choose. Notice the assumption, identify what you actually know, decide what you can ask, and then choose whether to wait, clarify, soothe yourself, or speak directly. Feel To Heal: A Guide to Feeling, Healing, and Living from the Truth of Who You Are    Author Sharyn Nichols   Amazon.com – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1997615312 Amazon.ca – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1997615312     ~ More About Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols ~  Sharyn Nichols is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Wellness Practitioner with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals create lasting emotional well-being. By combining evidence-based therapy, mindfulness, somatic practices, and Human Design, she empowers clients to regulate their nervous systems, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Known for her compassionate, grounded approach, Sharyn creates a safe space for healing, growth, and transformation. She helps clients move beyond stress, emotional overwhelm, and survival mode to build deeper self-trust, healthier relationships, and a life guided by intention rather than reaction. If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic self and experience lasting change, Sharyn will help you discover what's truly possible.    FeelToHeal.com   https://feeltoheal.com/    Email   sharynnichols@feeltoheal.com    YouTube   www.youtube.com/@sharynnicholsFeelToHeal    LinkedIn   www.linkedin.com/in/sharyn-nichols-20526a95/    Instagram   www.instagram.com/feeltohealwithsharyn_    Facebook   www.facebook.com/FeelToHealwithSharyn       TikTok   www.tiktok.com/@sharynnichols   Fell To Heal with Sharyn Nichols: https://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/podcast/feel-to-heal-with-sharyn-nichols/

Trauma isn't the event. It's what happens afterward, when your nervous system gets stuck defending against something that's already over. This episode breaks down the two distinct paths that lead there: one from a single overwhelming moment, the other from years of disrupted connection, and what separates someone with one specific trigger from someone who's never had access to safety at all.

How often do you take care of yourself? In this episode, I talk with Angelique Foye-Fletcher, LMFT, RPT about breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice and:How your cultural upbringing shapes your identity as an HSPLearning to take care of yourself when you grew up in an environment or culture that didn't have room for your sensitivityWhy simple acts of mindfulness are deeply healing and can change the way you parentAngelique Foye-Fletcher (she/her) is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Registered Play Therapist who helps sensitive, neurodivergent adults and caregivers heal through her four pillars of Books, Nature, Play, and Connection. An INFJ, HSP, and Enneagram 4, Angelique brings curiosity, ritual, and deep empathy into her work—often lighting incense or walking in nature as part of her own healing practice.Keep in touch with Angelique:Website: https://foyefletchertherapy.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/foyefletchertherapyTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@foyefletcherllcResources Mentioned:Parent/Caregiver Support: https://foyefletchertherapy.com/parentcaregiver-support-coachingReconnect + Rejuvenate Support: https://foyefletchertherapy.com/coachingtherapy-packagesFor more deep conversations like this, join me in Sensitive Circles - a cozy online community for highly sensitive people to find meaningful connection and deepen self-awareness at their own pace. More details: https://www.sensitivecircles.com Thanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at: https://www.sensitivestories.comYou can also follow "SensitiveStrengths" for behind-the-scenes content plus more educational and inspirational HSP resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sensitivestrengthsYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@sensitivestrengthsAnd for more support, attend a Sensitive Sessions monthly workshop: https://www.sensitivesessions.com. Use code PODCAST for 25% off. If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast, it helps Sensitive Stories reach more HSPs! This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional.  Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.  

Marriage and family therapists play a vital role in mental health care, helping millions of individuals, couples, and families navigate conflict, strengthen relationships, and build healthier family systems. But what does it really take to create a family environment where every person feels heard, supported, and empowered to grow? In this episode of Let's Have This Conversation, we sit down with Angela Caldwell, MA, LMFT, a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, founder and director of the Caldwell Family Institute in Los Angeles, educator, speaker, and specialist in family-based treatment. Angela has spent more than a decade teaching graduate students and currently serves as an adjunct professor at California State University, Northridge, where she teaches systems theory and related courses. Her clinical work includes specialized training and experience in family-based treatment for non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), while her broader mission focuses on helping families discover shared values, improve communication, navigate conflict, and support one another's growth. Angela's approach to family therapy is deeply influenced by her upbringing in El Paso, Texas. Growing up within a bilingual border culture taught her the importance of adaptability, resilience, openness, and learning to understand people beyond the words they speak. Those experiences continue to shape how she reads family dynamics, recognizes nonverbal communication, and creates space for multiple personalities and perspectives within the therapy room. Her years as a competitive athlete also provided lessons that continue to influence her clinical practice. Sports taught Angela discipline, optimism, perseverance, and how to balance compassion for difficult emotions with the determination required to pursue meaningful change. At the heart of Angela's philosophy is a familiar but powerful idea: it takes a village to raise a child. The challenge is that many parents struggle to find their village—and even when that support system exists, people may not know how to effectively support parents and children. During our conversation, we explore what healthy family systems really look like, how parents and families can communicate through conflict, why resilience matters during difficult seasons, and how families can build a stronger sense of connection and belonging. We also discuss the relationship between individual growth and the larger family system, the role of shared values, and why supporting parents requires a community willing to participate in the work. Angela has shared her expertise with audiences at local, state, and national conferences and has been featured in outlets including Authority Magazine, Motherly, the New York Post, POPSUGAR, Verywell, and the Healthified podcast. She is also working on a series of books exploring what it means to create the modern-day "village" families need to thrive. This conversation is for parents, therapists, educators, mental health professionals, caregivers, and anyone interested in strengthening family relationships and creating communities where children and families can flourish. For more information: https://caldwellfamilyinstitute.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols  In this episode of Feel to Heal, Sharyn continues the Third Agreement from The Four Agreements: Don't Make Assumptions. This episode focuses on how assumptions quietly create conflict in relationships. From assuming we know what someone meant, to assuming others should know what we need, to turning one moment into a fixed story about someone's character, assumptions can create distance, resentment, and misunderstanding. Through relatable examples and therapeutic reflection, this episode invites listeners to practice asking direct, gentle questions instead of reacting to unverified stories. It is a reminder that clarity is often more loving than certainty, and that many relationship conflicts soften when we are brave enough to ask instead of assume. 5 Key Takeaways Assumptions can do serious damage in relationships. Conflict begins when we respond to the meaning we assigned instead of what the other person actually meant. Our wounds can translate neutral words into painful meanings. Pause long enough to separate what was actually said from the story you created about it. People cannot read your mind—even when they love you. Clearly communicating what you need gives the relationship a better chance than hinting, hoping, testing, or expecting. Hidden tests create hidden resentment. Instead of testing whether someone cares, bring your needs into the open and give them the opportunity to respond. Don't treat unverified guesses as confirmed truth. Stay curious and communicate directly while still recognizing genuine patterns, red flags, and repeated behavior. Feel To Heal: A Guide to Feeling, Healing, and Living from the Truth of Who You Are    Author Sharyn Nichols   Amazon.com – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1997615312 Amazon.ca – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1997615312     ~ More About Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols ~  Sharyn Nichols is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Wellness Practitioner with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals create lasting emotional well-being. By combining evidence-based therapy, mindfulness, somatic practices, and Human Design, she empowers clients to regulate their nervous systems, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Known for her compassionate, grounded approach, Sharyn creates a safe space for healing, growth, and transformation. She helps clients move beyond stress, emotional overwhelm, and survival mode to build deeper self-trust, healthier relationships, and a life guided by intention rather than reaction. If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic self and experience lasting change, Sharyn will help you discover what's truly possible.    FeelToHeal.com   https://feeltoheal.com/    Email   sharynnichols@feeltoheal.com    YouTube   www.youtube.com/@sharynnicholsFeelToHeal    LinkedIn   www.linkedin.com/in/sharyn-nichols-20526a95/    Instagram   www.instagram.com/feeltohealwithsharyn_    Facebook   www.facebook.com/FeelToHealwithSharyn       TikTok   www.tiktok.com/@sharynnichols   Fell To Heal with Sharyn Nichols: https://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/podcast/feel-to-heal-with-sharyn-nichols/

In this episode of the Holistic Healers Community Podcast, Crystal sits down with Dr. Zerri Gross - a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Reiki Master, crystal and sound healer, trauma-informed yoga instructor, Goddess Temple Priestess, author, retired veteran, and holistic life coach - for a deeply honest conversation about transformation, burnout, spirituality, and learning to make space for every part of ourselves.Dr. Z shares her journey from the military into the mental health field, the early experiences that challenged her to reflect on her own growth as a therapist, and the gradual shift toward holistic healing that initially began as something she pursued for herself. She opens up about the internal and religious beliefs she had to work through in order to make space for these modalities, as well as the barriers that kept her from believing her trainings and gifts were meant to be shared with others.Eventually, burnout and life's challenges pushed Dr. Z toward opening her own private practice, only to reveal a whole new layer of healing around money, visibility, social expectations, and the narratives we inherit about what we're “supposed” to do. Together, Crystal and Dr. Z explore what happens when the person who has spent years caring for everyone else finally gives herself permission to be cared for, too.Dr. Z also shares about her upcoming Disconnect to Reconnect event at HHC on August 29th, created specifically for the teachers, therapists, healers, and “strong friends” who are so accustomed to being the ones everyone else relies on.And in one of the most memorable parts of the conversation, Dr. Z introduces a powerful reframe for working with the inner child: Instead of making our inner child responsible for healing us, what if we fired them from the role of “healer” and hired them as a consultant? Someone whose experiences, needs, creativity, and wisdom can inform the way we move forward.This episode is an invitation to reconsider what healing, spirituality, success, and self-care can look like when we stop abandoning parts of ourselves in order to become who we think we're supposed to be. Have a listen & don't forget to follow the podcast to stay up to date on episodes! You can also leave feedback on the episode over at HHC's Instagram @holistichealerscommunity or find out more about Dr. Z and how to work with her on her website & IG.IG: @greaterself_dr.zWebsite: www.greaterself.orgMusic credit: Blind Love by TuneTrove

In today's episode I'm joined by Marriage and Family Therapist, Janae Davis, to take you through Married at First Sight S20 episodes 14 and 15. Janae and I talk about which couple we think is up on their high horse, the heated group dinner, and some of the missteps we feel the experts have taken this season. Janae and I forgot to dive into the awkward interrogation led by Adam and Felipe against Devin, to get to the bottom of if he can say yes at the end of this without having sex. We will talk about this at the beginning of our next episode!Schedule Therapy with Janae: https://doutecounselingservices.as.me/schedule/b72954b8/?calendarIds=8412229Follow Janae on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janaemftVisit Janae's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/janaetiptonFollow Positively Uncensored on Threads: ⁠https://www.threads.com/@positivelyuncensored⁠Follow Positively Uncensored on TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@positivelyuncensored?lang=en⁠Follow Positively Uncensored on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/positivelyuncensored/⁠

Not every survival strategy looks like fighting back or running away. Sometimes it looks like befriending the person who's hurting you.This episode covers the last two mixed states: appease (safety plus flight/fight plus shutdown — all three primary states at once) and fawn (flight/fight plus shutdown, but without safety). What separates a hostage using social skills to stay alive from someone disappearing inside an abusive home. Why both states likely require significant dissociation to survive. And where I personally land on how much weight these two deserve as actual Polyvagal Theory mixed states, versus maybe something else entirely.This is Episode 13 of the Stuck Not Broken audiobook — Book 1, Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm; full series in the playlist.

Send us Fan Mail Do you find yourself struggling with fear but trying to handle it on your own? Do you hesitate to seek help because you worry that others might see you as weak—or that asking for help could be perceived as a lack of faith? My guest for today is Karen Juliet Martinez. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Fair Oaks, California with over 14 years of experience helping adults overcome emotional barriers, heal from past experiences, and build healthier relationships. Her passion for this work began through her own journey of healing, which inspired her to dedicate her life to helping others discover hope and lasting change.  She is offering In-person sessions in Fair Oaks, CA. and Telehealth throughout California.  Content note: At the beginning of our conversation, Karen recalls asking herself, “What is the point of this life?” If this subject may be upsetting or triggering for you, please take care while listening and consider reaching out to someone you trust or a qualified mental health professional for support. Listener discretion is advised. Scripture Passage: Psalm 23The Lord Is My ShepherdA Psalm of David.23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.2     He makes me lie down in green pastures.He leads me beside still waters.3     He restores my soul.He leads me in paths of righteousness    for his name's sake.4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,    I will fear no evil,for you are with me;    your rod and your staff,    they comfort me.5 You prepare a table before me    in the presence of my enemies;you anoint my head with oil;    my cup overflows.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me    all the days of my life,and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord    forever.Theme Music: Descript stock music-SoireeIntro & Outro- by Leva (Pixabay lemonmusicstudio)Connect with Cecille:https://www.cecillevaloria.comhttps://www.instagram.com/valoriacecille/Connect with Karen: Karen Martinez, LMFTKarenmartinezlmft@gmail.com

Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols  In this episode of Feel to Heal, Sharyn begins the Third Agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements: Don't Make Assumptions. This episode explores why the mind creates stories when there is missing information, especially in moments of silence, uncertainty, or emotional vulnerability. Whether it is an unanswered text, a change in someone's tone, or a look we interpret as rejection, assumptions can quickly turn uncertainty into suffering. Listeners are invited to notice the difference between what actually happened and the story they built on top of it. This episode offers a compassionate look at why we assume, how assumptions connect to old wounds, and how healing begins when we learn to pause before believing every story our mind creates. 5 Key Takeaways Assumptions turn missing information into stories. We often react as though those stories are facts, even when the original situation may be simple. The mind assumes because it wants certainty and safety. It fills gaps using past fears, old wounds, and expectations. Pause between the trigger and the story. Ask what you actually know, what you are guessing, and what else could be true. Assumptions can become self-fulfilling prophecies. A defensive reaction to an unverified belief can create the very conflict you feared. Separate facts from assumptions. You do not need to punish yourself with worst-case guesses or treat fear as fact. Feel To Heal: A Guide to Feeling, Healing, and Living from the Truth of Who You Are    Author Sharyn Nichols   Amazon.com – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1997615312 Amazon.ca – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1997615312     ~ More About Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols ~  Sharyn Nichols is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Wellness Practitioner with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals create lasting emotional well-being. By combining evidence-based therapy, mindfulness, somatic practices, and Human Design, she empowers clients to regulate their nervous systems, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Known for her compassionate, grounded approach, Sharyn creates a safe space for healing, growth, and transformation. She helps clients move beyond stress, emotional overwhelm, and survival mode to build deeper self-trust, healthier relationships, and a life guided by intention rather than reaction. If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic self and experience lasting change, Sharyn will help you discover what's truly possible.    FeelToHeal.com   https://feeltoheal.com/    Email   sharynnichols@feeltoheal.com    YouTube   www.youtube.com/@sharynnicholsFeelToHeal    LinkedIn   www.linkedin.com/in/sharyn-nichols-20526a95/    Instagram   www.instagram.com/feeltohealwithsharyn_    Facebook   www.facebook.com/FeelToHealwithSharyn       TikTok   www.tiktok.com/@sharynnichols   Fell To Heal with Sharyn Nichols: https://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/podcast/feel-to-heal-with-sharyn-nichols/

In this episode, Kristen talks with Amber Trejo, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in complex trauma and CPTSD, about how complex childhood trauma can resurface in adult relationships and parenting, shaping attachment, emotional responses, and the healing journey. You'll Learn: How childhood trauma can shape adult relationships and attachment Why trauma responses can resurface when you get married or become a parent What spiritual bypassing is and how it can interfere with healing How reconnecting with your body and internal needs can support healing Why self-compassion, community, and repair are important in breaking the cycle of trauma Connect with Amber: www.theintegrativetraumatherapist.com When you purchase Amber Trejo's recommended books through these Amazon affiliate links, you're helping support the podcast at no extra cost to you:    1. What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma: https://amzn.to/4groOgh 2. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma: https://amzn.to/3I0jpjB 3. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma: https://amzn.to/47GBu0r 4. Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma: https://amzn.to/47KHB3V   Subscribe HERE and get a free 5-day journal to begin closing the chapter on what doesn't serve you and open the door to the real you. Connect with Kristen: Get Kristen's newsletter, packed with tangible tools, resources, and inspiration Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Kristen on Instagram   Kristen's TikTok   Have Kristen Speak at Your Event  Disclaimer This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is being provided to you to educate you about ideas on stress management and as a self-help tool for your own use. It is not psychotherapy/counseling in any form. This information is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment. For counseling services near Indianapolis, IN, visit www.pathwaystohealingcounseling.com. Pathways to Healing Counseling's vision is to provide warm, caring, compassionate and life-changing counseling services and educational programs to individuals, couples and families in order to create learning, healing and growth.    

— Why do we keep repeating the same painful relationship patterns, even when we desperately want things to be different? Why do some people fear abandonment, while others pull away when relationships become too close? And how much of our ability to love, trust, and feel emotionally safe is shaped by the experiences we had long before we entered our first romantic relationship? Attachment theory suggests that our earliest relationships create a blueprint for how we connect with others throughout life. These unconscious patterns can influence everything from our communication style and conflict resolution to our sense of self-worth, emotional security, and capacity for intimacy. The encouraging news is that these patterns are not fixed. With awareness, compassion, and intentional effort, it is possible to heal old wounds, develop greater emotional resilience, and create relationships built on trust, safety, and genuine connectionIn today's conversation, we'll explore the fascinating world of attachment styles, how they shape our inner lives and relationships, why so many of us get stuck in predictable cycles of conflict and disconnection, and what it takes to move toward more secure, healthy, and fulfilling connections—with others and with ourselves. Because at the heart of every human being is a desire to feel seen, understood, accepted, and loved. Valeria interviews  Marc Cameron — He is the author of  "Understanding Your Attachment Style: The Path to Overcoming Unhelpful Patterns and Building Healthy, Secure Relationships." Marc Cameron is an author, speaker, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Newport Beach, California specializing in couple's therapy. Alongside his private practice, Marc and his wife, Amy, lead How We Love, an organization founded by Milan and Kay Yerkovich birthed from their groundbreaking book on attachment by the same name.  Marc firmly believes that developing secure attachments is the key to creating strong and fulfilling connections between couples and within families. He guides people in enhancing communication, building trust, and deepening emotional bonds by helping them understand how insecure attachment styles create predictable dysfunctional relationship cycles—and how these patterns can be overcome. His book, Understanding Your Attachment Style (2025), outlines this approach in detail. In addition, Marc is certified in EMDR therapy, an evidence-based treatment for PTSD and trauma and is a regular co-host on New Life Live!, America's top Christian counseling call-in radio program with a weekly audience of over 2 million listeners. Learn more about Marc Cameron and his work!

Sitting still should be the easiest thing in the world, right? But for a lot of people, it's maybe the hardest.This episode moves into the third mixed state: stillness and intimacy — safety plus shutdown, immobility without fear. What actually makes it safe to sit still, use the restroom, or fall asleep at night. Why meditation, yoga, and even bedtime can feel dangerous for someone who lives in flight, fight, or freeze. And what changes the moment a safe person joins you in stillness.This is Episode 12 of the Stuck Not Broken audiobook — Book 1, Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm.

In today's episode, I'm joined by good friend and Marriage and Family Therapist, Janae Davis to dive deep into MAFS S20 episode 10. Janae and I share some different perspectives on Devin and Caitlyn, and Shawn and Nikki so I can't wait to hear other perspectives as you listen. Make sure you share your take & wish Janae a happy birthday in the comments!Schedule Therapy with Janae: https://doutecounselingservices.as.me/schedule/b72954b8/?calendarIds=8412229Follow Janae on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janaemftVisit Janae's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/janaetiptonFollow Positively Uncensored on Threads: ⁠https://www.threads.com/@positivelyuncensored⁠Follow Positively Uncensored on TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@positivelyuncensored?lang=en⁠Follow Positively Uncensored on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/positivelyuncensored/⁠

Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols  In this third episode on the Second Agreement from The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, Sharyn turns inward to explore how we can take our own thoughts personally. This episode looks at the inner critic, shame stories, emotional triggers, and the old voices we mistake for truth. Listeners are invited to see thoughts as messages, not identities, and to practice relating to their inner world with more curiosity and compassion. Don't take anything personally does not only apply to other people's words. It also applies to the painful stories our own minds tell us. This episode offers listeners a gentle path toward freedom from old inner narratives. 5 Key Takeaways Not every thought is the truth. Fear, shame, anxiety, and old agreements can speak through your inner voice. Separate facts from the stories your mind creates. Pausing creates space to question assumptions before believing or reacting to them. Emotional activation is not confirmation. Feeling afraid, rejected, or ashamed doesn't automatically mean something is actually wrong. Your inner critic is not your identity. You can hear critical thoughts without allowing them to define who you are. You can choose a new agreement. Notice painful thoughts, question them, comfort yourself, and consciously choose what you believe. Feel To Heal: A Guide to Feeling, Healing, and Living from the Truth of Who You Are    Author Sharyn Nichols   Amazon.com – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1997615312 Amazon.ca – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1997615312     ~ More About Feel to Heal with Sharyn Nichols ~  Sharyn Nichols is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Speaker, and Wellness Practitioner with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals create lasting emotional well-being. By combining evidence-based therapy, mindfulness, somatic practices, and Human Design, she empowers clients to regulate their nervous systems, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. Known for her compassionate, grounded approach, Sharyn creates a safe space for healing, growth, and transformation. She helps clients move beyond stress, emotional overwhelm, and survival mode to build deeper self-trust, healthier relationships, and a life guided by intention rather than reaction. If you're ready to reconnect with your authentic self and experience lasting change, Sharyn will help you discover what's truly possible.    FeelToHeal.com   https://feeltoheal.com/    Email   sharynnichols@feeltoheal.com    YouTube   www.youtube.com/@sharynnicholsFeelToHeal    LinkedIn   www.linkedin.com/in/sharyn-nichols-20526a95/    Instagram   www.instagram.com/feeltohealwithsharyn_    Facebook   www.facebook.com/FeelToHealwithSharyn       TikTok   www.tiktok.com/@sharynnichols   Fell To Heal with Sharyn Nichols: https://www.inspiredchoicesnetwork.com/podcast/feel-to-heal-with-sharyn-nichols/

✨ Join the FREE Masterclass: The Mental Health Care Gap for Bereaved Mothers If you support women and have ever wondered “What am I missing?” after pregnancy loss, this training is for you. Discover what standard frameworks can overlook and leave knowing what to look for, what questions to ask, and where your role fits in supporting the whole woman after loss. Join the free masterclass here → https://www.facebook.com/groups/thereproductivelossleadershipnetwork There is a moment that Atara Parkinson describes in this episode that will stop you in your tracks. She has just given birth after 32 hours of labour. Third degree tears. A baby in the NICU. And a security guard who tells her — as her husband attempts to wheel her out of the hospital — that she cannot take the wheelchair. It can't leave hospital grounds. Figure it out. That moment, she says, became the image that defined her entire career. Because once the baby is out, it is as though the mother disappears. Atara is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 14 years in the mental health field, a certified integrative practitioner, and a mother of four — three of whom were NICU babies. Her work sits at the intersection of holistic healing, nervous system regulation, minerals and brain health, and postpartum support. She is also one of the most articulate voices I have encountered on what is actually happening inside the body when a woman cannot seem to move through her grief — and why. This conversation goes somewhere most conversations don't. We talk about the biochemistry of getting stuck. About what happens at a cellular level when trauma enters the body and the nervous system decides it is not yet safe to let the guard down. About why the calcium spikes. Why the magnesium can't get in. Why your body is not failing you — it is protecting you. And what it actually takes to move through that, not just talk about it. We also talk about the gap between what the medical system offers and what women actually need. About why talk therapy, as valuable as it is, is only ever engaging one part of the brain. And about why the body is sending 80% of the signals in this conversation — not the brain. If you have ever felt stuck in your grief and wondered why — this episode is for you. In this episode we cover: Atara's own story — three NICU babies, a gap in postpartum care, and the moment that shaped her life's work Why our culture treats the mother as invisible once the baby arrives — and how that plays out in pregnancy loss The shame–isolation loop and why connection (the right kind) is not optional in healing Why talk therapy alone cannot access where reproductive trauma is stored in the body The biochemistry of staying stuck — what happens when calcium spikes after trauma, why the protective shell forms, and what needs to shift for the body to feel safe again The role of magnesium and potassium in emotional regulation and nervous system calm How physical symptoms — disrupted sleep, shallow breathing, altered posture, blunted affect — are expressions of biochemical dysregulation, not separate problems The 80/20 communication ratio: why the body sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the body Why you cannot detox, heal, or regulate from inside a chronic stress state The 1% shift — how Atara approaches change with clients who are already overwhelmed Connect with Atara: Instagram: @atara.parkinson NICU & birth trauma focus: @nicufreedom Website: https://www.ataraparkinson.com/ Resources mentioned: The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk (heads up: it's a heavy read, but an important one) Connect with Sharna Find me here: @reproductivelossleadership If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love to stay connected. My mission is to help change the landscape of pregnancy loss care through education, advocacy, research, and evidence-informed, trauma-informed support. Whether you're navigating your own loss, supporting someone you love, or you're a healthcare professional wanting to improve the care you provide, there's a place for you here. You can follow my work, explore educational resources, listen to more podcast episodes, or learn about the Pregnancy loss recovery method & Integrated Pregnancy Loss Care framework Or the Pregnancy Loss & Trauma-Informed Specialist Certification. Together, we're creating a future where every pregnancy loss is acknowledged, every family is supported, and every practitioner feels confident to provide compassionate, person-centred care. I'd love to hear what resonated with you from today's episode. Share your thoughts, leave a review, or connect with me on social media—your voice helps shape this conversation and reach more families who need it. Thank you for being part of this community. Together, we're changing the future of pregnancy loss care. Follow the podcast page: @pregnancyloss_podcast If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you are a practitioner supporting women through reproductive loss and want to go deeper on the neuroscience and body-based frameworks behind this work — the Pregnancy Loss & Trauma-Informed Specialist Certification is where we take all of this further.

In this final to our 3-part series on Pastoral Counseling, Olatunde Howard returns to discuss premarital counseling and what so many Christians struggle with regarding how they approach marriage conflicts to begin with. Olatunde is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Cary, NC. He can be reached at: https://one-eightycounseling.com/olatunde-howard/ More episodes with Olatunde can be found in our Counseling & Therapy playlist at: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4bbdsVUgfc6Y3fPvCqWfepUlSJ-HkV3k Olatunde's worksheets: PDF worksheets: * Premarital Counseling outline for Pastors - https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/mb78jwsx79x6br3qygebz/PREMARITAL-COUNSELING.pdf?rlkey=w9620v4j0sx2wfd9x8cbsbu6n&dl=0 * The ABCs of CBT - https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/eipzf7l53jfxhvbhzn5g9/THE-ABC-S-OF-CBT.pdf?rlkey=65muk6fdv11mx42d7oecq3pip&dl=0 * The 3 C's of CBT - https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/hgzrf71ltyg2mn7lemubx/THE-3-C-S-OF-CBT.pdf?rlkey=q877tq0b81g3ml0446popwx8m&dl=0 * Identifying ANTs - https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/lipw497v0jn425q7aykfw/AUTOMATIC-NEGATIVE-THOUGHTS-ANTs.pdf?rlkey=kn25jcy9ovcfrqs5o8g8j3vyo&dl=0 * Adjusting Negative Core Beliefs - https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/n6kxxv0s8epwy9cy4nyrl/Adjusting-Negative-Core-beliefs.pdf?rlkey=s7i0jkyx8rk4ti0l8b2420byn&dl=0 ***Disciple Dojo shirts and other gifts are available over in our online store! - https://www.zazzle.com/discipledojo ***Become a monthly Dojo Donor and help keep us going! - https://www.discipledojo.org/donate ***Dojo Donor Patches: If you are a monthly donor and would like an iron-on DiscipleDojo patch, supplies are limited so message JM directly via the contact page at https://www.discipledojo.org/contact ***If you are an unmarried Christian looking for community, check out our Facebook group “The Grownup's Table” over at www.facebook.com/groups/grownupstable (We also have a group for both married and unmarried Christians: www.facebook.com/groups/grownupfriends ) ------ Go deeper at www.discipledojo.org

Mark Odland is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified EMDR Therapist, and faith-based counselor on a mission to help men break free from the cages holding them back and step into the strength and purpose they were created for. Over the last 15 years, he's conducted over 15,000 therapy sessions, trained over 1,000 therapists, and helped over 1,000 clients, with a particular focus on supporting high-achieving men through individual EMDR therapy and marriage counseling. As an Approved EMDR Consultant and Continuing Education Provider through EMDRIA, he's trained therapists around the world through his consultation, books, and online courses. He also offers executive coaching for business leaders and mental coaching for athletes. To learn more about Mark, go to escapethecagenow.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Wrestling with your kids. Trash-talking during a pickup game. Screaming through a game of tag. On paper, those look like danger cues, so why do they feel so good? Play is what happens when your safety state and your fight-or-flight mobility switch on at the same time. Here's what's actually happening in your nervous system when you play, why the game changes the moment it moves from the living room to online voice chat, and what it looks like when a kid mobilizes with no safety behind it at all.

What if the phrase "You're only as happy as your least happy child" is actually keeping families stuck? Robin sits down with therapist Laura Goldstein to explore parenting, ADHD, radical acceptance, and why so many therapy models may be pointing toward the same place.Laura Goldstein, LCMFT is a Licensed Clinical Marriage & Family Therapist and Founder of Montgomery County Counseling Center (MCCC), LCC. She obtained her Bachelor's degree in Neuroscience from Franklin and Marshall College in Lancaster, PA and then went on to earn her Master's degree in Family Therapy from Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia. Laura became intensively trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) through Behavioral Tech Linehan Institute in 2015 and has further trainings in Gottman Method and RO-DBT. She has built a private practice with the values of systemically-minded and collaborative care. MCCC continues to serve individuals and families at the intersection of emotional, relational, and behavioral struggles. She's a passionate public speaker always looking to make psychoeducation. prevention, and sustainable care more accessible to help both clients and clinicians thrive.In this conversation, Robin and Laura explore why we can't make other people's happiness our responsibility, the relationship between acceptance and change, ADHD and working with our brains instead of against them, building a therapy practice from the ground up, and how different therapeutic models may be pointing toward the same human truths.Learn more about MCCC's new service Mental Wellness Check:https://mccounselingcenter.com/mental-wellness-check/Connect with the bulletin board on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/groups/mocomentalhealthbulletinboardLearn more about Laura:https://www.montgomerycountycounseling.com/Learn more about TheraCourses:https://theracourses.com/--Get in touch:robinsmithshow@gmail.comCall the hotline:+1 (301) 458-0883Follow Robin on Insight Timer:https://insighttimer.com/robinsmithBook an appointment:https://robin-smith.clientsecure.me/request/serviceBecome a supporter on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/therobinsmithshowGot a question? We'd love to hear from you!

Today's very special episode of Positively Uncensored is guest hosted by my good friend, and Marriage and Family Therapist, Janae Davis! Janae is taking you through MAFS S20 episodes 4-6 while I was out of the country, so that when I return this week, we can review the latest batch of episodes together. This batch of episodes made me (Leah) question how the piano man was arguably doing better in his marriage than the rest of the couples???Make sure that if you enjoyed this episode, you support our good friend Janae & you follow her on all platforms after the episode! If you are living in Georgia and in need of a qualified and compassionate Therapist, schedule a session with Janae! Schedule Therapy with Janae: https://doutecounselingservices.as.me/schedule/b72954b8/?calendarIds=8412229Follow Janae on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janaemftVisit Janae's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/janaetipton

Freeze is not the same as shutdown, even though people use the words like they mean the same thing. Shutdown is a limp collapse. Freeze is tense: all the energy to run or fight, with a body that can't move. It's the gas and the brake at the same time, and it's underneath panic, phobias, and that flash of rage that comes out of nowhere. Here's what's actually happening in a freeze, how to come out of one in the moment, and why a long-held freeze has to be thawed slowly rather than forced.

Dana Fonteneau is a former concert cellist and now a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, performance consultant, and founder of WholeHearted Musician™ and Dana Fonteneau Consulting, LLC. I worked with Dana during 2023-24 when she was one of my coaches. She helped me gain clarity of my WHY, who I am as an artist, and learning how mind and body connects.To learn more about Dana's work, visit her website at danafonteneau.com. You can also read her book It's Not (JUST) About the Gig: A Musician's Guide to Creating the Mindset Which Leads to Career Success AND Fulfillment which is available on AMAZON, or Book a Complimentary & Confidential Discovery Session with her.All About Chaowen Ting 

JeaNette Smith is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who authored Side by Side: Supporting a Spouse in Church Service to help couples keep their relationships strong and connected amidst demanding Church callings or busy careers. Her inspiration for the book came early in her career while her husband, Bret, was serving as a bishop, leading her to study how couples can actively grow closer rather than drift apart during intense seasons of service. Over their years together, JeaNette and Bret have put these principles into practice across numerous callings, including three bishoprics, a branch presidency, a stake presidency, and as mission leaders in the Dominican Republic. JeaNette is a frequent contributor to Meridian Magazine and the author of two books on adolescent romance. JeaNette and Bret are the parents of four children and the grandparents of fifteen. They continue to work side by side in their family life and with their grandchildren. Links Side by Side: Supporting a Spouse in Church Service Watch the video and share your thoughts in the Zion Lab community Transcript available with the video in the Zion Lab community Highlights JeaNette explores how couples can navigate demanding Church callings without straining their relationship. Drawing on her personal background supporting her husband across various leadership roles and her professional expertise, JeaNette emphasizes that Church callings should be treated as shared, couple-centered opportunities that strengthen marriages rather than burden them. Key Insights Viewing Callings as a Team Effort: Demanding leadership positions run much smoother and foster deeper connection when couples view the assignment as a joint effort, with the leader using their spouse as a trusted sounding board and counselor. Navigating Confidentiality Wisely: Leaders should refrain from complete emotional isolation; while specific names and details must remain private, sharing emotional burdens, general concerns, and spiritual joys keeps the couple connected and avoids emotional drift. Emotional Availability Matters Most: Marital tension rarely stems from physical absence alone; it arises when leaders become emotionally disengaged and fail to share their inner thoughts and feelings with their spouse. Prioritizing Intentional Connection: Daily practices—such as morning companionship scripture study, short check-ins, or casual dates—help maintain alignment and ensure open channels of communication. Maintaining Appropriate Motives and Boundaries: Spouses must approach confidential insights with pure motives aimed at lifting burdens rather than satisfying curiosity, while leaders must genuinely value their spouse’s wisdom as an equal partner. Prioritizing Personal Self-Care: Spouses and leaders alike must prioritize self-care and personal well-being to avoid resentment and build the capacity needed to serve others effectively. Leadership Applications Integrate Daily Companionship Study: Leaders can establish a daily routine with their spouse to study scriptures, pray, and discuss upcoming ward or stake needs together to invite shared revelation. Share the Emotional Weight Without Oversharing: Leaders can share their personal feelings, fatigue, or spiritual insights with their spouse to process stress safely without revealing confidential names or specific details. Involve Your Spouse in Leadership Activities: Where appropriate, leaders can invite their spouses to attend youth activities, missionary setting-aparts, or stake events together to make service a fun, shared experience. 00:02:00 – Jeanette’s Background Jeanette shares her personal experiences as a bishop’s wife and her professional background as a marriage and family therapist. 00:04:30 – Navigating Marriage and Church Callings Discussion on how church callings can strain relationships and the importance of turning these challenges into opportunities for growth. 00:07:00 – The Importance of Communication Exploration of the need for open communication between spouses regarding church responsibilities and the emotional burdens they carry. 00:09:30 – Confidentiality and Trust Jeanette emphasizes the balance between confidentiality in church leadership and the necessity of sharing feelings and experiences with one's spouse. 00:12:00 – Shared Experiences in Leadership The significance of couples working together in church callings and how it strengthens their relationship. 00:15:00 – Companionship Study Jeanette discusses the practice of companionship study and its benefits for couples in leadership roles. 00:18:00 – Advice for Newly Called Couples Tips for couples newly called to leadership positions on how to navigate their responsibilities together. 00:21:00 – Maintaining Trustworthiness The importance of being a trustworthy spouse and the need to keep confidences regarding ward matters. 00:23:30 – Friendship Dynamics Discussion on the shift in relationships for bishop’s wives and the importance of maintaining friendships outside of church. 00:26:00 – Self-Care for Spouses Jeanette highlights the necessity of self-care for spouses in leadership to better support their partners. 00:29:00 – Emotional Availability Exploration of the difference between physical presence and emotional availability in a marriage. 00:32:00 – Navigating Different Experiences The challenges of reconnecting after church meetings and the importance of sharing spiritual experiences with one another. 00:35:00 – Handling Difficult Situations Jeanette shares a personal story about navigating sensitive situations while maintaining a strong marriage. 00:38:00 – Date Night and Connection The role of date nights in fostering connection and communication between spouses. 00:40:00 – Pure Motives in Communication The importance of having pure motives when discussing church matters and supporting each other. 00:43:00 – Seeking Help and Humility Encouragement for leaders to seek help when needed and to be humble about their struggles. 00:45:00 – Avoiding Judgment The need for spouses to refrain from forming judgments about others in the ward and the importance of compassion. The award-winning Leading Saints Podcast is one of the top independent Latter-day Saints podcasts as part of nonprofit Leading Saints’ mission to help Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Find Leadership Tools, Courses, and Community for Latter-day Saint leaders in the Zion Lab community. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org. Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Reyna and Elena Aburto, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Benjamin Hardy, Elder Alvin F. Meredith III, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, Lynn G. Robbins, J. Devn Cornish, Bonnie Oscarson, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Kirby Heyborne, Taysom Hill, Coaches Jennifer Rockwood and Brandon Doman, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, Ganel-Lyn Condie, Michael Goodman, Wendy Ulrich, Richard Ostler, and many more in over 800 episodes. Discover podcasts, articles, virtual conferences, and live events related to callings such as the bishopric, Relief Society, elders quorum, Primary, youth leadership, stake leadership, ward mission, ward council, young adults, ministering, and teaching.

Sometimes the body's answer to too much isn't panic, it's the opposite: going quiet, going numb, wanting to disappear. That's shutdown, the bottom of the Polyvagal ladder, and it's where a lot of what gets called depression actually lives. Here's what it feels like from the inside, why your body would ever reach for it, and the slow, gentle way back up. No pushing through, no forcing it.

Get your copy of Nikki's book today on Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and through Bookshop.Org, where every purchase supports your local bookstore.Want a sneak peek of Nikki's book? Download a FREE chapter!Tune in to hear from second-time guest, Chanelle Neilson, a certified marriage coach and associate Marriage and Family Therapist dedicated to helping couples reconnect when life has left them feeling more like roommates than partners. Drawing from over a decade of coaching experience and 25 years of marriage, she equips couples with practical tools to strengthen communication, deepen connection, and build lasting intimacy. Connect with Chanelle on Instagram or on her website, and be sure to download your FREE at-home date night idea to help you and your partner deepen your connection today.Support the showFollow Nikki on Instagram and Facebook!  Wanna be on the show or sponsor an episode?  Email your pitch to nikki@youridealmomlife.com. 

Anxiety and anger can feel like opposites, but they are two sides of the same state. Fight or flight is your sympathetic nervous system mobilizing to protect you: flight shows up as anxiety and worry, fight as anger and irritability. This one is about what that state feels like, what it looks like in a person's face, breath, and voice, and why a system built for short bursts can leave you feeling stuck when it stays switched on. Courtney's story picks back up here too, and the day takes a turn.

Chad Hyams and Bob Stewart discuss the concept of restlessness with licensed marriage and family therapist Kristen Mosier. The conversation delves into how restlessness affects personal and professional lives, and Kristen shares insights from her book, "Restless: How to Stop Living an If Only Life." Key themes include identifying and aligning with personal values, the impact of restlessness in relationships, and practical steps for being more present. Kristen also explores how to channel restlessness positively and achieve satisfaction by making value-aligned decisions. This episode is insightful for entrepreneurs and anyone seeking personal growth. Connect with Kristen at https://www.kristenmosierlmft.com/ Get her Book: Restless: How to Stop Living an If-Only Life ---------- Connect with the hosts: •    Ben Kinney: https://www.BenKinney.com/ •    Bob Stewart: https://www.linkedin.com/in/activebob •    Chad Hyams: https://ChadHyams.com/ •    Book one of our co-hosts for your next event: https://WinMakeGive.com/speakers/   More ways to connect: •    Join our Facebook group at www.facebook.com/groups/winmakegive •     Sign up for our weekly newsletter: https://WinMakeGive.com/sign-up •     Explore the Win Make Give Podcast Network: https://WinMakeGive.com/ Part of the Win Make Give Podcast Network   00:00 Insights from a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist 03:26 Understanding Restlessness and Aligning Life with Personal Values 09:02 The Importance of Singular Focus for Being Present 10:51 Balancing Restlessness and Satisfaction in Personal Growth 16:51 Understanding and Practicing Personal and Business Values 19:24 Understanding Relational Restlessness and Self-Evaluation in Relationships 23:18 Technical Glitches and Bob's Eventful Podcast Experience 25:13 Embracing Acceptance Over Control in Emotional Challenges 29:36 Balancing Personal Growth and Career Focus with ADHD 32:17 Embrace Personal Satisfaction Over Constantly Optimizing Your Life

Mercedes Coffman, LMFT, is a seasoned Marriage and Family Therapist known for her insightful, compassionate approach to emotional healing and relational growth.  Today on the show we discuss how inconsistency can make relationships feel addictive, why chemistry is not always the same as compatibility, how love bombing and emotional highs can dysregulate your nervous system, the difference between emotional unavailability and manipulation, why childhood wounds can cause people to chase the wrong partners, how trauma bonds actually work, why safe love can feel boring at first, and how to rebuild self-trust so you can choose healthier relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Safety is the state where life feels workable. Not perfect, just manageable. It's the top of the ladder and the place we're all reaching for, so this episode is about what it actually feels like in your body, what it looks like on someone's face and in their voice, and what it really takes to get there. You'll also meet Courtney, whose story we follow throughout the states from here.

OCD isn’t just about managing symptoms—it’s about understanding the parts beneath them In the third and final part of our OCD series, expert Melissa Mose explores the complexities of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), discussing evidence-based treatments like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can complement traditional approaches. Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience, Melissa shares practical strategies for navigating OCD, while highlighting the roles of self-leadership, compassion, and understanding the different “parts” that influence thoughts, fears, and behaviors. “ERP has been shown to be the most effective treatment. Exposures help the brain rewire and learn resilience.” – Melissa Mose  Time Stamps for The Hidden Parts of OCD: ERP, IFS, and Self-Leadership with Melissa Mose (303) 00:12 Introduction to OCD and treatment 02:58 Understanding exposure and response prevention (ERP) 08:13 The role of the therapist in ERP 10:45 Integrating internal family systems (IFS) with ERP 13:30 The impact of shame in OCD 16:09 Differentiating reassurance from compulsions 36:25 Understanding exiled parts in therapy 40:58 Obsessive and compulsive parts: A closer look 43:38 Navigating the helicopter parent dynamic 47:40 Differentiating between anxiety and OCD 55:45 The connection between attachment and OCD About our Guest – Melissa Mose, LMFT Melissa Mose is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Los Angeles since 1995. She has specialized in the treatment of OCD and anxiety since 2011 and currently trains and supervises associates in her group practice. Melissa is also an Internal Family Systems therapist. She is Level 3 trained and Certified and an IFSI-approved clinical consultant. She has served on staff as a PA for multiple Level 1 and Level 2 experiential IFS trainings through the IFS Institute. Melissa's experience as the parent of a child with OCD led her to specialize in the treatment of individuals with anxiety and OCD as well as their families. She is a graduate of the IOCDF's general, pediatric and advanced Behavior Therapy Training Institutes (BTTI) as well as the Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) program and Cognitive-behavioral Intervention for Tics training (CBIT). Her fifteen years of experience prior to that specialization provided a broad foundation of skills and approaches that infuse her integrative approach. With a background in family systems and mindfulness practices, she became driven to find more compassionate and accessible treatment for OCD. Melissa has developed an integrative approach that utilizes an IFS framework to provide evidence-based exposure therapy for OCD. She is an international speaker and educator on obsessive compulsive disorder and its treatment, and she is currently the president of the board of directors of OCD Southern California, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. In her role on the board of OCD SoCal advocates for individuals with OCD, hosts speakers' series, trainings, and one of largest virtual OCD conferences worldwide. It is her mission to raise awareness, improve early identification and greater treatment accessibility for individuals with OCD and their families. Resources for The Hidden Parts of OCD: ERP, IFS, and Self-Leadership with Melissa Mose (303) Melissa’s website – Resources & information IFS for OCD Clinician’s Guide – Melissa’s book – Internal Family Systems for OCD: A Clinician’s Guide  www.OCDSoCal.org – Melissa is president of OCD Southern California Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW!   Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount.       You are invited!  Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!    Get your copy of Secure Relating here!! Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all!  A coffee alternative with 4 adaptogenic mushrooms and ayurvedic herbs. With only a fraction of caffeine as a cup of coffee, you get energy without the anxiety, jitters, or crash of coffee Go to mudwtr.com/tu to support the show and use code TU for 15% off