Podcasts about ambie

It's easy to feel like you don't have enough; it's the message we constantly receive through media and advertisements. It's the message that once you have this thing, or make this much, then you will be happy... all of your dreams will come true! The truth is actually the opposite as this kind of grasping for more is associated with mood problems, anxiety, and stress.  We'll dig into this trap of "having enough" and how we can break free from it and embrace our enoughness.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube   Full transcript   Sources and Notes for Our Element of Enoughness: Related Joy Lab Episodes:   Ep. 236: The Power of Good Enough Parenting & Calling Out Our Moms Our Grief series starts here: Ep. 252: The Grief of What Should Have Been & The Loss of Not Being Truly Seen (Grief Recovery & Healing Series part 5) More on Savoring:   Ep. 44: Savoring Your Past Without Ruminating or Romanticizing Ep. 45: Mindfulness, Savoring the Present Moment, & Overcoming FOBO (it's kinda like FOMO) Ep. 46: Savoring the Future: A Refreshing Skill to Boost Mood & Help Navigate Depression Ep. 47: Mindsets & Mental Health: How Thoughts About Yourself & The World Impact Your Wellbeing Ep. 197: How Savoring Shifts Your Mood, Mindset, & Behaviors Ep. 198: Unfractured Focus: Mastering the Art of Savoring in a Distracted World Our Authenticity series starts here: Ep. 216: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe Ep. 268: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth It for Mental Health Ep. 273: How to Build Confidence (When You Don't Feel Confident Yet)  Bellam, S., Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Stoeber, J. (2025). Perfectionism and work performance: A meta-analysis. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12570 Carver, C. S., Lawrence, J. W., & Scheier, M. F. (1999). Self-discrepancies and affect: Incorporating the role of feared selves. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025007002  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.131.3.392  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). Reaping the benefits of pursuing self-esteem without the costs? Reply to Schmuck and Sheldon (2004), Sheldon et al. (2004), Pyszczynski et al. (2004), and Kernis (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.430 Crocker, J., Karpinski, A., Quinn, D. M., & Chase, S. K. (2003). When grades determine self-worth: Consequences of contingent self-worth for male and female engineering and psychology majors. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.3.507 Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.593 Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2004). Avoiding death or engaging life as accounts of meaning and culture: Comment on Pyszczynski et al. (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.473 Freudenberger, H. J. (1974). Staff burn-out. Journal of Social Issues, 30(1), 159–165. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1974.tb00706.x  Harari, D., Swider, B. W., Bujold Steed, L., & Breidenthal, A. P. (2018). Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000324 Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456 Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.94.3.319 Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. (2005). Positive adjustment to threatening events: An organismic valuing theory of growth through adversity. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.3.262 Kernis, M. H. (2005). Measuring self-esteem in context: The importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00359.x Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ellis, B. J. (2001). An evolutionary-psychological approach to self-esteem: Multiple domains and multiple functions. In G. J. O. Fletcher & M. S. Clark (Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 411–436). Blackwell. Leary, M. R. (2000). Sociometer theory and the pursuit of relational value: Getting to the root of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1080/14792772043000045  Maslach, C. (1981). The measurement of experienced burnout. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.4030020205   Park, L. E., & Crocker, J. (2005). Attachment styles and contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205277030 Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why do people need self-esteem? https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435 Schaufeli, W. B., Leiter, M. P., & Maslach, C. (2009). Burnout: 35 years of research and practice. https://doi.org/10.1108/13620430910966406  Lynn Twist's Book: The Soul of Money   Questions this episode was made for: Q: Why do I keep thinking that getting more money, success, or recognition will finally make me feel okay? And why doesn't it ever work? A: This episode explains the psychology of contingent self-worth and the neuroscience of hedonic adaptation: when you stake your value on external things, the bar always moves, the reward always fades faster than expected, and there is never enough; understanding the mechanism is the first step to stepping off the treadmill.   Q: Someone I love seems to measure their worth entirely by what they have or what they've achieved — how do I understand that, and is there a way out? A: Henry's story of his patient and Aimee's story of her father both illuminate how the having-more strategy develops and why it becomes impervious to reason; this episode also names the false-self as the construction that drives the endless proving, and points to the inner compass that is always there underneath it. The good news is that there is a way out and this series explores those paths to enoughness.    Key moments: [00:00] Welcome — Enoughness part 2: having enough [00:30] Having enough isn't really about the amount — it's the belief that acquiring this much will make the bad feelings go away  [01:00] Conditional acceptance and love: growing up having to produce, perform, or prove before being given love — the untended grief that drives the proving [01:30] Francis Weller: what happens when we aren't born into a village with a full, joyous welcome of our gifts  [02:00] Henry's story: a venture capital executive, clearly depressed, sent to therapy against his will  [04:00] CBT couldn't break through — his thinking was so distorted he was impervious to reason; he clung to the belief that he added no value whatsoever  [05:00] The lesson Henry learned viscerally: it is futile to try to fill a hole in self-worth by accumulating money or anything else we value  [05:30] If you believe external achievement proves your worth, there will never, ever be enough — and what a drain on one's energy and vitality  [06:00] Aimee's father: grew up needing to grasp for more, family lived week to week — so grasping for more was genuinely what they needed to survive  [06:30] AImee Prasek "Money can absolutely buy relief from misery, but it doesn't buy happiness or joy with the same predictability."  [07:00] The neuroscience: dopamine tracks more with anticipation of getting the thing than with actually getting it — the reward at arrival is inconsistent and can be short-lived  [07:30] Most things can be taken away — a shaky foundation if you've built your identity or worth on them  [08:00] Aimee's father attached his worth to signs of success — culture pushes this onto us too  [09:00] His business fell apart and everything came crashing down — Aimee believes his contingent self-worth collapsed with it [09:30] Watching strangers take back the repossessed items — cars, boats, pieces of him; everything he'd staked his value on, gone in a day  [10:30] Henry: a prolonged grieving right there — it's the universal human experience [11:30] Hedonic adaptation, or the hedonic treadmill: big life events shift our mood temporarily, then we return to baseline  [12:30] Like Sisyphus: pushing the same rock up the hill, same outcome every time — all that effort does not create lasting change  [13:30] Hedonic wellbeing (drive toward pleasure, avoidance of pain) vs. eudaimonic wellbeing (meaning, authenticity, self-acceptance, personal growth) — it's not one or the other; you don't have to give up pleasure  [14:30] Socially-prescribed perfectionism added to the mix: contingencies of self-worth + hedonic treadmill + belief that others demand your perfection = perfect storm  [15:00] The belief that you can and should live without pain, full of only pleasure, proving it all the time — and it is just not true  [15:30] Henry: where the false-self gets born — when we learn that our worth is conditional on performance, appearance, or achievement, we hide the real self  [16:00] We construct a version of ourselves we believe will be acceptable, lovable, worthy of belonging — and it is exhausting to maintain  [16:30] Constant vigilance: am I saying the right thing, do I look right, am I achieving enough? Always the fear of being exposed as a fraud  [17:00] The paradox: the more we invest in the false-self, the less we're actually being loved for who we are — and deep down, we know this [17:30] Donald Winnicott's work on the false-self — link in show notes; also: the Authenticity series and the episode on feeling enough as a mom  [18:00] The false-self is like holding up a complex lie — cognitively and physically exhausting  [18:30] The inner compass is always there underneath the false-self — that knowing of our worth is never lost; it's never too late to come back to it  [19:00] Head to your Experiment in the Joy Lab Program to work on having enough; head to JoyLab.coach to access the Experiments [19:00] Closing wisdom from Lynne Twist: "Sufficiency isn't an amount at all. It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough, and that we are enough."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here. 

Experiences with stress, depression, and anxiety are often paired with feelings of not measuring up or that you're not enough. However, feeling that you're lacking in some way is not limited to a mental health diagnosis; these feelings are actually very common and, unfortunately, they make our lives smaller. We're working on our Element of Enoughness in this episode, identifying Enoughness as an inner knowing that you are enough just as you are, with acceptance of where you are at this moment, without giving up on where you're headed. We'll start by identifying some obstacles to that knowing through two powerful research frameworks. The first is Dr. Jennifer Crocker's "contingencies of self-worth." This is the idea that we stake our self-esteem more heavily on certain domains than others, and when we do, our worth rises and falls with our performance in those areas.   The second framework is Drs. Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett's three typologies of perfectionism: self-oriented (impossible standards for yourself), other-oriented (impossible standards for others), and socially-prescribed (believing others are demanding your perfection). Henry also names the common root for our feelings of not being enough: the fundamental fear of not belonging.  This is the start of our series on Enoughness, so be sure to stick with us for the next episodes as we talk about and gain skills related to having enough, doing enough, knowing enough, and being enough.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for Our Element of Enoughness: Related Joy Lab Episodes:    Ep. 268: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth It for Mental Health  Ep. 273: How to Build Confidence (When You Don't Feel Confident Yet)  Bellam, S., Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Stoeber, J. (2025). Perfectionism and work performance: A meta-analysis. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12570 Carver, C. S., Lawrence, J. W., & Scheier, M. F. (1999). Self-discrepancies and affect: Incorporating the role of feared selves. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025007002  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.131.3.392  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). Reaping the benefits of pursuing self-esteem without the costs? Reply to Schmuck and Sheldon (2004), Sheldon et al. (2004), Pyszczynski et al. (2004), and Kernis (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.430 Crocker, J., Karpinski, A., Quinn, D. M., & Chase, S. K. (2003). When grades determine self-worth: Consequences of contingent self-worth for male and female engineering and psychology majors. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.3.507 Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.593 Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2004). Avoiding death or engaging life as accounts of meaning and culture: Comment on Pyszczynski et al. (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.473 Freudenberger, H. J. (1974). Staff burn-out. Journal of Social Issues, 30(1), 159–165. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1974.tb00706.x  Harari, D., Swider, B. W., Bujold Steed, L., & Breidenthal, A. P. (2018). Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000324 Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456 Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.94.3.319 Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. (2005). Positive adjustment to threatening events: An organismic valuing theory of growth through adversity. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.3.262 Kernis, M. H. (2005). Measuring self-esteem in context: The importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00359.x Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ellis, B. J. (2001). An evolutionary-psychological approach to self-esteem: Multiple domains and multiple functions. In G. J. O. Fletcher & M. S. Clark (Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 411–436). Blackwell. Leary, M. R. (2000). Sociometer theory and the pursuit of relational value: Getting to the root of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1080/14792772043000045  Maslach, C. (1981). The measurement of experienced burnout. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.4030020205   Park, L. E., & Crocker, J. (2005). Attachment styles and contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205277030 Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why do people need self-esteem? https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435 Schaufeli, W. B., Leiter, M. P., & Maslach, C. (2009). Burnout: 35 years of research and practice. https://doi.org/10.1108/13620430910966406    Questions this episode was made for: Q: What does "you are enough" actually mean? Isn't that just an excuse to stop growing? A: Enoughness, as Joy Lab defines it, is the inner knowing that you are enough just as you are, with acceptance of where you are, without giving up on where you're headed. Enoughness is distinct from self-esteem (which rises and falls with performance) and is closer to unconditional self-worth; this episode explains the distinction and why believing you are enough actually makes you more open to genuine growth, not less.   Q: Why do I feel so driven to prove myself even when I know it's exhausting and not working? A: That's the contingencies of self-worth in action. When we stake our self-esteem on certain domains, we strive or perform not to learn or grow but to prove our worth; this episode explains the mechanism, its real costs, and why loosening those contingencies is not giving up on goals but can help free yourself from letting outcomes dictate your value.    Key moments: [00:00] Welcome to the brand new Element of Enoughness  [00:30] Opening fact: you are enough — and the Zen teaching Henry loves: "You're perfect as you are, and you could use a little improvement"  [01:00] Aimee's working definition: Enoughness is the inner knowing that you are enough just as you are, with acceptance of where you are, without giving up on where you're headed  [01:30] Contentment spiked with hope — Enoughness is not a ceiling, it's a foundation  [02:00] Why Enoughness is hard to define operationally — but viscerally familiar; we know what having it and lacking it feels like  [03:00] Henry: this topic lives in the conversation around scarcity and abundance — how much is enough is a question we don't give enough thought to  [03:30] Most of us carry on as though we don't have or aren't enough — striving, or feeling bad for what we think we lack  [04:00] The rare person who feels comfortable in their own skin: receives praise but doesn't need it — and stands out for it  [04:30] Four dimensions to explore: having enough, doing enough, knowing enough, and being enough  [06:00] Two key frameworks for the month: contingencies of self-worth (Dr. Jennifer Crocker) and typologies of perfectionism (Drs. Hewitt and Flett) [06:30] Contingencies of self-worth: we don't stake self-esteem equally on everything — certain domains carry more of our worth  [07:00] Three key claims: contingencies motivate where we put attention and effort; they influence how we react in those domains; they can lead to fragile self-esteem linked to higher depression and anxiety  [07:30] Contingencies turn "I feel good about myself" into "I feel good about myself if..."  [08:00] Crocker's college student study: students who tied self-worth to academic performance studied more hours — but extra studying did NOT predict a higher GPA  [08:30] They were studying to prove worth, not to learn — and reported more conflict, more academic struggle, more dissatisfaction by end of freshman year  [09:30] Key takeaway: you can be motivated to do well without attaching self-worth to the outcome — that's actually the more effective route  [10:00] Loosening contingencies isn't surrendering goals — it's refusing to let outcomes or others' judgments dictate your value  [10:30] Henry: inadequacy is closer to the truth than insecurity — the belief that we're not enough permeates almost everything  [11:00] Buddhist psychology: grasping — endless grasping — as the manifestation of not-enoughness  [11:30] No matter how much we get of the thing we think will fill us up, it doesn't last — this tragic gap drives anxiety and depression  [12:30] Aimee: feeling inadequate shakes our sense of security and safety — evolutionary roots, we need the group to survive  [13:00] Important distinction: self-esteem (rises and falls with performance), fragile self-esteem (staked on outcomes we grasp onto), and self-worth (intrinsic, not performance-dependent)  [14:00] Baumeister's challenge to the self-esteem movement of the '80s and '90s — hollow self-esteem building is at best unsubstantiated, potentially harmful  [14:30] Baumeister and Vohs, "Narcissism as Addiction to Esteem": chasing self-esteem through reality-detached praise creates a dopamine-like loop — feels good briefly, drops quickly, tolerance builds, need more and more  [15:30] The addiction pattern: constantly chasing the next hollow boost, convinced it'll finally hold — and it never does [16:30] Henry: why do we give our lifeblood chasing what we know deep down won't give us what we want?  [17:00] The fundamental human drive: to belong — to be seen, appreciated, cared about — once basic biological needs are met  [17:30] The tension: deep need to belong vs. the illusion that we are separate and must go it alone  [18:00] Neuroscience of belonging: newly born neurons immediately extend to connect with others — if insufficiently connected, they shrivel and die; same for us  [19:00] Introduction of perfectionism typologies from Drs. Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett  [19:30] Type 1 — Self-oriented: punishing standards for yourself, intense drive to be perfect and avoid failure  [19:45] Type 2 — Other-oriented: same rigid standards applied to others — hard on relationships, linked to more loneliness  [20:00] Type 3 — Socially-prescribed: believing others are demanding your perfection and will judge you if you fail — most linked to depression, hopelessness, and possibly suicidal ideation  [21:00] Henry: socially-prescribed perfectionism feels like the loneliest of the three — you're playing by rules you didn't design, trapped in a system you didn't agree to  [21:30] All three stem from the same root: the fundamental fear of not being enough, of not belonging  [22:00] Self-oriented: "If I'm not perfect, I'm not worthy of belonging" — attacking yourself to earn your own permission to exist  [22:30] Other-oriented: projecting the fear outward — demanding others meet standards because that's what you believe it takes to matter  [23:00] Socially-prescribed: the loneliest — responding to what you believe the world demands, even though that belief deserves to be questioned  [23:30] Most of us carry all three — when we can name these patterns, we have a choice; we can loosen the grip  [24:00] Aimee: all of these types come from a good place — wanting to matter, wanting others to matter — it's driven by a desire for connection  [25:00] Pushback addressed: will believing you're enough make you lazy, entitled, or narcissistic? No — Enoughness is not the same as self-esteem  [25:30] Enoughness is a neutral, solid ground — you can feel bad about a mistake and still feel like enough as a person  [26:00] When you feel like enough: you can take criticism without your value collapsing; apologize without self-destruction; make mistakes and still belong  [27:00] Joy Lab Program Experiment for Enoughness — head to JoyLab.coach  [27:30] This is a collective experiment — to feel like enough, we have to offer that to others  [28:00] Closing wisdom from Lao-Tzu: "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here. 

Rest and recreation are essential tools for resilience and good mental health as they help support the biological rhythms your body is already running. We'll dig into these rhythms more in this episode by breaking down three layers of the body's natural cycles: Ultradian rhythms (the short cycles within each day), circadian rhythms (24 hour cycle), and infradian rhythms (longer cycles like menstruation and seasonal changes). The practical thread through all three is the same: manage energy, not time. Notice your rhythm and do your best to honor what your body is telling you.   Note: This is an encore episode, originally aired during Joy Lab's Roots of Resilience Series (Element: Resilience). It's replaying here to close the month of Re-Creation because it goes straight to the biological foundation of why rest and recreation aren't optional extras — they are literally built into your body. As Aimee puts it in her intro: these rhythms are not something to fight. They're something to come home to.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Experiments: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Joy Lab episodes referenced: Joy Lab Podcast #13 (The Roots of Resilience) This episode is a broad overview of what we'll be talking about over the next 9 episodes. It's a really helpful summary!  Roots of Resilience Series starts with episode #53: Roots of Resilience Chemistry of Calm (Dr. Emmons' book referenced in this series) The 20 Minute Break (book) Linnaeus' Flower Clock How does the brain deal with cumulative stress? A review with focus on developmental stress, HPA axis function and hippocampal structure in humans Cumulative Stress and Health   Questions this episode was made for:   Q: Why do I crash mid-afternoon and feel like I can't focus no matter how hard I try? A: That's your ultradian rhythm doing exactly what it's designed to do. This episode explains the 60-to-90-minute focus window, why pushing through leads to a steeper crash, and what a 15-to-20-minute break actually does to restore your brain's capacity.   Q: Could my sleep or stress problems be connected to my hormones being out of rhythm? A: It's certainly possible. This episode walks through how cortisol fluctuates naturally across 24 hours, what happens when that pattern gets disrupted by chronic stress (including the classic 3 AM wake-up), and how protecting your sleep is the single most powerful thing you can do to help let your system rebalance itself.    Key moments: [00:00] Aimee's intro to the encore: this episode closes the month of Re-Creation by grounding rest in biology — rhythms aren't optional, they're built in [01:00] Welcome — the Element of Resilience, Roots of Resilience Series, third root: aligning with nature [01:30] Henry: bio-rhythms might be the most important and most easily ignored root of resilience [02:00] Natural world runs on cycles — plants and animals fall in line naturally; humans have the choice to ignore or fight them  [03:00] Inside the body: hormones, energy, focus, and mood are all directly shaped by these rhythms [03:30] Depression can be a problem with internal timing — getting out of sync with bio-rhythms; Chronobiology and body-clock research: a booming field; SAD as a familiar example of seasonal rhythm [04:30] Three rhythms to cover: ultradian (under 24 hours), circadian (24 hours), infradian (more than 24 hours) [05:00] Ultradian rhythms: most overlooked, most ignored in the typical workday; What we do instead: push through, reach for sugar or caffeine, experiment with nootropics — when the body is asking for a break [07:00] Henry: managing energy rather than time — noticing when you're fading and honoring it early before the crash [08:00] Dr. Anders Ericsson's violinist study: comparing professional soloists with good-but-not-great performers [10:00] The lesson: excellence came from tending to rhythms, not from fighting through them — more practice was possible because of better recovery [10:30] Transition to circadian rhythms — sleep is the big one here [11:30] Henry: sleep might be the best mood stabilizer available — the research is unambiguous; People with depression + sleep problems who improve their sleep double their chances of recovery [12:00] People without depression who develop sleep problems double their risk of becoming depressed [12:30] Cortisol fluctuates naturally over 24 hours — lowest during deep sleep, starts rising around 3–4 AM, peaks in morning, dips post-lunch, rises again mid-afternoon, declines through evening [13:30] The post-lunch cortisol dip: a natural signal for rest, a walk, or a nap [14:00] The HPA axis (hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal): when this gets out of sync, depression can follow [14:30] Aimee: the 3–4 AM cortisol surge — when under stress, that's exactly when people wake up and can't get back to sleep [15:30] Mood problems can arise or worsen from fighting these natural cycles — enormous friction and energy wasted [16:00] Ways to tap into circadian rhythm: notice the animals and nature around you — dogs, chickens, birds, flowers [17:30] Light exposure: get bright light in the first 1–2 hours after waking; dim lights significantly in the evening [18:00] In winter: dawn simulator or bright light device in the morning; 15-minute session around 5 PM to help set sleep timing [20:00] Adrenal fatigue: when stress goes on long enough, adrenal glands become overtaxed — a state of profound depletion, controversial but real [20:30] Possible connection to long COVID — a pattern Henry has seen clinically [21:30] Infradian rhythms: cycles longer than 24 hours — less obvious but powerful when you become aware of them [22:00] Two key infradian rhythms for mental health: menstruation and seasonal affective disorder [22:30] Menstruation: predictable changes in mood, energy, and sleep — part of a sophisticated, elegant cycle [24:30] Seasonal depression: root cause is the change in circadian rhythm — shorter days disrupt bio-rhythms [25:00] Henry's short course on SAD: convince your body it's not the middle of winter — bright light early and late, fresh light foods, keep moving [26:00] Closing wisdom from Lao-Tzu: "Nature does not hurry. Yet everything is accomplished."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.

We're constantly swamped by messages like rest or idleness leads to laziness or that if you rest, then you'll fall behind — it's been repeated by so many self-proclaimed gurus, business experts, and biohacking influencers that we've started to believe the false messaging. The truth is that you're wired to take purposeful action, to have a healthy store of motivation, and to rest so that you can do those things when needed.  So, how come so many of us feel stuck in the swing between pathological productivity and then guilt when resting? We'll dig into the concept of idleness aversion — the deeply human tendency to detest doing nothing — and explains its evolutionary roots. We are wired to assess whether action is needed and to feel motivated when it is. That's not a flaw. The flaw is when that drive gets hijacked by external messaging that equates busyness with moral virtue and rest with weakness. Henry brings the neuroscience of mind-wandering: when the mind is allowed to wander, there's a kind of syncing up and rest that can happen, almost like rebooting a computer or closing all the apps on your phone. Far from being a waste, it's the precondition for efficient activation when you actually need it.  We'll get into some practical strategies to help you embrace more rest. For example, get a hobby that cannot be turned into a side hustle. Find a third place where people aren't doing anything productive. Let yourself daydream with a timer.  And if you're looking for the episode that followed this one when it played originally, here it is: From FOMO to GOMO: Discovering Freedom and Joy in The Choices We Make [ep. 224]   Note: This is an encore episode, originally aired during Joy Lab's Element of Fun. It's replaying here during the month of Re-Creation because rest and play go hand in hand — and if part of you felt a flicker of guilt pressing play on a podcast instead of doing something "productive," this episode is exactly what you need to hear. Preferably in a hammock. Not because you deserve it, but because you need it.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Experiments: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Joy Lab episodes referenced: Are You Stuck in Joyless Urgency? [ep 222] Where's Your Third Place? [ep. 171] Sometimes I Just Sits... (the power of solitude) [ep. 74] Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman Series on authenticity from our Joy Lab podcast: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] The Truth Behind Your Thoughts And How to Calm Your Mind (encore) [ep. 141] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with soulfulness [ep. 220] Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind (this is the study of people shocking themselves out of boredom) Chandola, T., Ling, W., & Rouxel, P. (2025). Are anxious Mondays associated with HPA-axis dysregulation? A longitudinal study of older adults in England. Journal of Affective Disorders, 389. Access here.   Questions this episode was made for: Q: Why do I feel guilty when I'm not being productive, even when I know I need rest? A: This episode names and traces the moral weight most of us carry around rest. There is a culturally reinforced message that busyness is virtuous and idleness is weak. We'll dig into the evolutionary roots of idleness aversion and the neuroscience of why consciously letting your mind wander is genuinely restorative, not a waste.   Q: Is it possible to actually retrain a stressed-out nervous system that's gotten used to constant productivity? A: Yes, but it takes practice. It takes time to create new pathways and patterns. This episode explains how those neural pathways form and what gentle, practical steps (hobbies, third places, daydreaming, solitude) begin to build new ones.    Key moments: [00:00] Aimee's intro to the encore: idleness aversion, the moral weight on rest, and the invitation to listen in a hammock — not because you deserve it, but because you need it [02:00] Pathological productivity defined: on a spectrum from no productivity (feels bad for long, briefly good) to overwork (most of us have been there) to pathological productivity (causing harm, planting seeds of future illness) [03:30] Work addiction as a real condition — as hard to break as any other addiction once it sets in [05:00] Idleness aversion: the very common human tendency to detest being idle [06:00] The evolutionary reason: we're wired to assess whether action is needed and motivated when it is — not pathologically lazy creatures by nature [07:00] The paradox: we don't like idleness AND we want a reason to be busy — this sets us up for anxiety around rest and unconscious pathological productivity [09:30] Getting comfortable with rest is a skill — we work on it here at Joy Lab [10:00] The Anxious Mondays study. Finding: those who felt anxious on Mondays had elevated cortisol lasting at least two months. The twist: this continued even in retirees. [12:00] We're training ourselves to be stressed by productivity, and the neural pathway outlasts the job [13:00] The habit of being stressed by productivity — whatever the driver (money, pleasing others, excellence) — sets us up for long-term problems if we don't build in genuine downtime [15:00] The moral layer on rest: the deeply warped message that idleness leads to evil, laziness, or poverty. Guru-culture messaging: the gist is that rest is morally weak and busyness is morally strong — and it's false [16:00] The opposite of work is not evil — just as the opposite of play is not work but depression; we've gotten the opposites wrong [17:00] Our inner wisdom calls us to play, rest, AND work — a rhythm we're wired to follow rather than fight [19:00] The neuroscience of mind-wandering: Henry's image of the brain as a domed web of nodes and connections, always active [21:00] During mind-wandering: everything settles; hyperactive areas rest; underactive areas come online; whole system syncs up; Like rebooting a computer or closing all apps — fresh starting place, more efficient activation when you need it [24:00] Positive mind-wandering (playful, creative, inspiring) vs. rumination — similar states, very different outcomes [25:00] Practice ideas: guided visualizations, set a timer and let yourself daydream creatively [25:30] Get a hobby — something that cannot be turned into a side hustle, is not quantifiable, and just makes you smile [27:00] Identify a third place with a relationship to rest: meditation class, library, quiet coffee shop — somewhere people aren't checking things off lists [28:00] Oliver Burkeman, 4,000 Weeks: "In an age of instrumentalization, the hobbyist is a subversive" [29:00] Find something you think is a waste of time and try it — birding, train spotting, stamp collecting; whatever your version of that is [30:30] Oliver Burkeman closing: "Productivity is a trap... The day will never arrive when you finally have everything under control. But you know what? That's excellent news."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.  

Stop trying to convert your social media followers into podcast listeners, it rarely works. We are revisiting our conversation with podcast marketing expert Lauren Passell, who shares the free tactics that actually grow a show, from "podcast friends" to getting featured on Apple Podcasts!   Lauren Passell is the founder of the podcast growth company Tink Media, author of Podcast Marketing Magic and Podcast the Newsletter, and a judge for the Webby, Ambie, Signal, and International Women's Podcast Awards.   She shares:   ◼️ Why non-listeners rarely convert into listeners, no matter how big your social following is ◼️ The "podcast friends" strategy for trading free promo swaps with aligned shows ◼️ How to pitch your show to podcast newsletters the right way ◼️ Why she tells clients to spend ad budget on other podcasts, not social media ◼️ Her strategy for getting featured on Apple Podcasts by targeting underserved regions first ◼️ Why repurposing your own back catalog can outperform constantly creating new content   Follow Lauren Passell: ◼️ https://tinkmedia.co/ ◼️ https://x.com/laurenpassell ◼️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauren-passell/ ◼️ https://podcastthenewsletter.substack.com/ ◼️ https://podcastmarketingmagic.substack.com/   Want to grow your visibility through podcast guesting? Explore how PodWritten can help: https://podwritten.com/services/   Bonus tips and resources: ◼️ Blog: https://podwritten.com/blog/ ◼️ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/podwritten/ ◼️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/podwritten   Questions or want to say hey? Email us at sam@podwritten.com Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

We're digging into a reframe that can change the way a lot of us think about depression, anxiety, stress, and mental health treatment. The reframe has to do with the very common belief that there's one logical fix waiting to be found and that once found, we'd feel better and all will be fixed. The truth is that the way through overthinking, stress, and even anxiety and depression looks a little different for every person. Another thing we'll work to reframe in this episode is the culturally reinforced illusion that feeling better has to be just as heavy as feeling bad. The main strategy we'll lean on to go beyond these common obstacles is right in line with our Elements of Fun and Recreation... it's play! Truly, play is powerful.  Note: This is an encore episode, originally aired during Joy Lab's Element of Fun. It's replaying here during the month of Re-Creation because it grounds the science of play in some of the best research available — and because if you haven't heard it, now is exactly the right time. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.   The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes:  Joy Lab Experiments: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Joy Lab Episode #5 referenced: Let Go of Shoulds, Let In Fun More about Karl Popper (Also see: "Of Clouds and Clocks: An approach to the problem of rationality and freedom of man.") Maurice Sendak: https://www.sendakfoundation.org     FAQ Q: I know I should do something fun but I just can't make myself — what's actually going on? A: This episode names some main obstacles clearly: anhedonia (the inability to feel pleasure that is a red flag for depression), the belief that there's one logical fix waiting, metacognition blocking you from being present during play, and the fear of losing or not doing it right — and offers specific practical strategies for each one.   Q: Does healing from depression really have to be so heavy and hard, or can fun actually be part of it? A: This episode makes the direct case that play is a legitimate healing tool, not a distraction from "real" work. There's good scientific evidence to support play as a valuable adjunctive tool to treat depression.     Key moments: [00:00] Aimee introduces the encore: this episode gets practical about what blocks fun and how to get past it [02:30] First obstacle: anhedonia — the inability to feel pleasure, one of the clearest red flags for depression [03:00] The inertia problem: when you know you'd feel better if you played but can't get yourself to start [04:00] Henry: no shame in needing something to get over the hump — medication or natural therapy as a bridge, not a failure [05:00] "Fake it till you make it" — not denial, just good practice; changing what you do can move your mood [06:30] Second obstacle: waiting for the one logical solution — the single cause bias that makes us believe there's one fix [07:30] Karl Popper's clocks and clouds: clocks are tight, ordered, reducible; clouds are irregular and unpredictable [08:00] Mental health is a cloud — but we keep trying to treat it like a clock (one diagnosis, one medication, one solution) [09:00] Henry: the human brain is extraordinarily complex — one thing influences another influences another; the clock model just doesn't hold [10:30] The way out of anxiety and depression is a little different for everyone — just like fun looks different for everyone; C.S. Lewis: "Have fun, even if it's not the same kind of fun everyone else is having." [12:00] The clouds complexity is actually empowering: opening to more than one solution puts the power back in our hands [13:00] Third obstacle: metacognition — thinking about thinking — a useful skill that blocks fun when overused [14:00] Henry: metacognition from a Buddhism and neuroscience conference — observing yourself as a thinker, one of the main benefits of mindfulness [16:00] Aimee: metacognition can block you from starting to play AND take you out of it once you're there [18:00] Ted Lasso and Danny Rojas getting the yips — a vivid example of how overthinking destroys play even for the most joyful players [21:00] Preparing for fun: anticipation is part of the enjoyment — let yourself get excited in advance [21:30] Simple preparation: take a break from the phone or computer for an hour or two before a fun event [24:00] Strategy: pick a playful activity you did as a kid and do it for two or three minutes today; Don't overthink it — the activity is already part of you; just uncover it [25:00] Carl Jung: "The small child is still around and possesses a creative life which I lack, but how can I make my way to it?" — engaging in childhood play was Jung's own answer [27:00] Grounding practices and movement: research supports releasing fear, tension, and feeling more connected through physical grounding [28:30] Playful movement: fuller breaths, better digestion, reduced muscle tension, reduced fatigue — worth every minute [29:30] Henry: you can be less tired by expending more energy — paradoxical but true, and even one minute of movement can shift how you feel [30:00] Letting go of the outcome — the hardest obstacle, especially for overachievers and the competitive [32:30] Aimee: when you're not afraid to lose, the world opens up — you can play more, trust more, even love more [33:00] The path to feeling better doesn't have to be as depressing as how you've been feeling — the remedy doesn't have to always be bitter [33:30] Aimee's clubhouse story: caring for her mom with Alzheimer's, a hard week of financial and planning details, too much parenting [35:30] This was different from Netflix or a formal meditation — it was a fun break, and it created an upward spiral [37:00] Maurice Sendak on play: "It is through fantasy that children achieve catharsis. It's the best means they have for taming wild things." [37:30] Adults need this catharsis too — let's take fun more seriously as a tool for healing and for taming our wild things   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.

Ambie and Crystal discuss a couple games they played recently, including Color Jam and the second edition of Rosetta: The Lost Language. Then we just chat and reminisce about the podcast and the end of it all. Thanks for tuning in for the final regular episode of Board Game Blitz! 0:00-Intro 0:43-Announcements 1:43-Recent Games - Color Jam 7:10-Rosetta: The Lost Language (Second Edition) 12:37-The Final Episode 29:20-Outro 30:24-Bloopers Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/443

Is the opposite of depression happiness and the opposite of anxiety just calm? Some researchers have actually played with the idea that the opposite of depression and anxiety might just be... play. It's an interesting idea considering play and depression are inversely related, people who play more report a stronger internal locus of control (the sense that they have some agency over their lives), and when people engage in play, self-reported depression decreases.  We'll dig into this more as we look more at the neuroscience of play and how it hits the dopamine system directly and promotes BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor, or what Henry calls Miracle-Gro for the brain), which supports the growth and survival of new neurons. Expect to come away with some inspiration and motivation to return some play into your life. As play researcher Dr. Brian Sutton-Smith noted "For decades there has been this assumption that children played and adults didn't. That's rubbish."   Note: This is an encore episode, originally aired during Joy Lab's Element of Fun. It's replaying here during the month of Re-Creation because it grounds the science of play in some of the best research available — and because if you haven't heard it, now is exactly the right time.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   FAQ Q: Is there actually science behind play being good for mental health, or is that just feel-good advice? A: The science is substantial! This episode explores highlights from neuroscience to epidemiological findings that support play as a real tool to improve mild to moderate mental health issues. Q: I'm depressed and have no motivation to do anything...can play actually help? A: Research shows that when people engage in play, self-reported depression decreases and a sense of agency increases. This episode explains the physiological mechanisms (dopamine, BDNF) and makes the case for why play is a legitimate mental health tool, not a luxury. With that said, it is essential to pair adjunctive strategies like play with care from your doctor or a mental health professional.      Key moments: [00:00] Aimee introduces the encore: why this episode was chosen for Re-Creation month — it grounds the science of play [01:30] Dr. Brian Sutton-Smith: "The opposite of play is not work — the opposite of play is depression." [02:00] Play and depression are inversely correlated; Play and internal locus of control: playing more is associated with stronger sense of agency over your life [03:00] Weak internal locus of control is associated with depression — and play builds the opposite; When people engage in play, self-reported depression decreases — whether depression came first or play loss came first [04:00] Play can be used as a treatment tool for depression — not a replacement for other care, but a real contributor [05:00] Physiological mechanisms: play hits the dopamine system — loss of pleasure (anhedonia) is one of the two key criteria Henry looks for in depression; Play boosts creativity channels in the brain, tones down the stress/autonomic nervous system, helps release pent-up negative emotions; Most importantly: play grows our sense of connection — because we almost always play with others [07:00] Giant kangaroo rats: even solitary mammals have social neighborhoods and share resources — they aren't truly solitary; Humans have bought into the lone-wolf, self-made, solitary-BS story — which is actually bad for survival [08:30] When we don't have playmates and don't play, emotional health suffers — overwork alone without play is a recipe for depression and anxiety [10:00] Neurogenesis: the brain makes new cells throughout life, even in the last weeks of terminal illness; New brain cells need to branch out and connect with other cells or they wither and die — a powerful analogy for humans [11:30] BDNF: brain-derived neurotrophic factor — Henry's "Miracle-Gro for the brain" — facilitates this growth [12:00] Key factors that promote BDNF: diet (bright colors, omega-3s, not too many calories); moderate aerobic exercise [13:00] Enriched environment: in rats — a maze challenge, toys to play with, and playmates; not so different for humans [14:00] Social connection: even just another rat in the cage makes a difference [14:30] Age matters — but here's the twist: old rats who got to play with other old rats showed more BDNF and neurogenesis than young rats who exercised vigorously, ate perfectly, and did everything "right" [15:30] Social play overrides age — that is remarkable, and it counters all the "work harder, go faster" messaging [16:00] Growing research on work and wellbeing: many people in the US overwork without increased productivity or measurable benefit to anyone [16:30] People are happiest on federal holidays — including retirees who don't work; federal holidays create more chances to be with others, in public spaces, not working  [21:00] The Right to Be Lazy — Paul Lafargue's old essay on our dis-ease with rest; This is not a new problem — thousands of years old — and the goal this month is some unproductive, nourishing progress [22:30] Legitimate structural reasons why play is hard: overwork to survive is a public health crisis — and that needs policy solutions [23:00] But a big part of dismissing play is also belief: it's a luxury, it's immature, we need to go it alone [24:00] Closing wisdom from Dr. Brian Sutton-Smith: "For decades there has been this assumption that children played and adults didn't. That's rubbish."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Full transcript here   Sources and Notes:  Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Series on authenticity from our Joy Lab podcast: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218] Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with soulfulness [ep. 220] More on Dr. Brian Sutton Smith from the National Institute for Play. Merz, J. & Osberg, L. (2006). Keeping in touch: A benefit of public holidays. Access here. Rosso, L. & Wagner, R. (2021). Causal Effect of Public Holidays on Economic Growth. Access here.   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here.

A big chunk of the self-help and wellness industry runs on some core messages: you are not good enough and you need to be fixed, improved, and optimized. We disagree and hope this element of recreation (and re-creation) helps you brush off some of those false messages and return to what is already good and resilient in you.  This is also one of the three months per year (April, August, and December), where we tap more into our rest and activity cycles by doing less and nourishing more. With that in mind, we'll play some encore episodes that will help you tap into play, rest, and nourish. We'll be back September 1 with new episodes!   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app:  Spotify | Apple | YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. Harper & Row. Eberle, S. (2014). The elements of play: Toward a philosophy and definition of play. Access here. Farley, A., Kennedy-Behr, A., & Brown, T. (2021). An investigation into the relationship between playfulness and well-being in Australian adults: An exploratory study. Access here. Halpin, M., et al. (2025). When Help Is Harm: Health, Lookism and Self-Improvement in the Manosphere. Access here. Lackey, N. Q., et al. (2021). Mental health benefits of nature-based recreation: a systematic review.  Access here. Smith, B. S. (2001) The ambiguity of play. Harvard University Press. Authenticity series: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]  Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219] The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220] Align with Nature and Your & Your Rhythms (ultradian, circadian, & infradian) [ep. 139] More on inspiration and goal-setting: Inspiration: The Engine of Joy" ... gives some great basics for this element of inspiration) [ep. 10] Resolution #1: You Don't Need to Be Fixed [ep. 40] The Myths of Change [ep. 41] Five Principles for Inspired Change (or something that looks remarkably like it) [ep. 42] Harmonious vs. Obsessive Passions [ep. 43]  About turning your passions into work: When Your Life Passions Become Obsessions [ep. 208]   Common Questions: Q: Why does rest and play feel so hard to justify when there's always more to do? A: Because we've been sold the message that rest is laziness and optimization is a moral win. This episode names that cultural conditioning directly, explains the biological necessity of rest and activity cycles, and reframes play as a genuine act of wellness and even resistance.   Q: What does play actually look like for adults and why does it matter for mental health? A: This episode introduces phantasmagoria, flow, and self-forgetfulness as frameworks for understanding why play is not optional. Play helps dissolves self-monitoring, reduces stress, builds resilience and empathy, and reconnects us to intrinsic motivation. One practical strategy is to play for just two minutes per day, no devices, doing something that was fun when you were a kid.   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome to the Element of Recreation — and the shift to "re-creation," with the hyphen intentional [00:30] Joy Lab's ease-phase rhythm: August, December, April — doing less, nourishing more, honoring cycles of rest and activity [01:30] Henry: we treat bodies and minds like machines that should run at peak capacity all the time [02:00] Nature runs on rhythms — seasons, tides, circadian cycles, hormone cycles — and so do we [03:30] We were taught that resting is laziness, that not optimizing is wasting time — and it's exhausting and eventually counterproductive [04:00] When we honor natural rhythms and take real breaks, energy and creativity return [05:00] Re-creation as coming back to our foundation — no additional fixes needed; goodness is already here [05:30] The wellness industry's relentless optimization is built on a "tiny blueprint" — a marketable version of you designed to sell products. It only works if you believe you're a product, not a person [07:00] Henry: the trillion-dollar self-help industry thrives on one message — you are not good enough [07:30] The impossible standard: lose weight but have you optimized your BMI? Improve habits but have you perfected your sleep routine? [08:00] Rooted in shame and self-rejection — the core message being "you're not okay as you are"  [09:30] Roger Abrahams: we've turned building a self into a kind of religion — self-possession, self-fashioning, self-expression as sacred moral acts [11:00] Henry: authentic self-creation vs. creating a self for external approval — the difference that matters [12:00] For marginalized communities, the pull to conform is especially strong — stepping back from optimization as an act of resistance [13:30] Aimee introduces phantasmagoria — a concept from play researcher Dr. Brian Sutton-Smith [14:00] How kids play in wild, imaginative, sometimes dark ways — and why it's usually normal, not a red flag [17:30] Why kids do this: to deconstruct reality, work through feelings, explore what's unfair or scary in a complex world [18:00] Sutton-Smith and Derrida: if the world is a text, play is our response — we are both audience and co-author [18:30] Phantasmagoria as processing strategy: supports psychological resilience, empathy, curiosity, critical thinking [19:30] Dr. Fred Donaldson: "Children learn as they play. Most importantly, in play, children learn how to learn." [20:00] Adults do the same — we've licensed phantasmagoria into tiny socially acceptable pockets: Halloween, Burning Man, horror movies, fandom [20:30] When play is so rare, those pockets can get extreme — we need to bring play back into daily life in healthy amounts [21:00] Carl Jung: "The small child is still around and possesses a creative life which I lack, but how can I make my way to it?" [22:00] Play ideas: gardening, LARPing, woodworking, art, acting, board games, writing, cooking, music, sports with less attachment to winning [22:30] Starting question: what's one way of playing from your childhood that if you tried for two minutes today would offer some recreation? [23:30] Henry on what happens when we become adults: we lose permission to play without purpose or imagine without constraints [24:00] The playful mind is resourceful — in play, we access parts of the brain that don't activate during striving or self-judgment — not a waste of time; accessing our deepest capacities  [26:00] Re-creation is mostly social — not solitary self-optimization but self-forgetfulness and connecting [26:30] Self-forgetfulness (Ep. 270): looking up from negative preoccupation with self, going beyond ourselves [ADD LINK] [27:00] Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's flow: loss of self-consciousness, forgetfulness of other realities — the adult version of play [27:30] Playfulness research on adults: higher purpose in life, positive relations, resilience, more positive emotions — even when adults are forced to play [28:30] The practice: two minutes per day, no devices, authoring your own experience [29:00] Then make it a little more social: invite a friend, shoot baskets in a public park, join a club [31:30] Henry: what happens when you're truly at play — you stop thinking about yourself; the inner critic quiets, anxiety settles, you're just present   [35:00] Check in after playing: how do you feel emotionally, cognitively, physically? Identify what nourishes you [35:30] This month: replay of key past episodes; Joy Lab Program members get weekly short visualization and meditation experiments [36:00] Closing wisdom from Carl Jung: "The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect, but by the play instinct..."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

This final episode of our Confidence series ties everything together: the inner work of accepting discomfort and self-doubt, defusing from self-critical thoughts, and clarifying values now becomes the foundation for outer action. You can build confidence through the daily practice of taking small committed actions, again and again, in alignment with your values, even when you don't feel ready.  We'll dig into strategies like psychological flexibility: the ability to be present with thoughts, feelings, and sensations without letting them stop you from doing what matters. With that flexibility, we can shift from self-focused attention (consumed by what others are thinking, picking apart your own performance in real time) to task-focused attention. Self-focused attention takes the prefrontal cortex partially offline and redirects computing power to threat-detection and self-monitoring. Shifting attention to the task brings it back online. You think more clearly. You respond more flexibly. You perform closer to the level you're actually capable of. The practice is simple to describe and genuinely hard to do: when you notice self-focused attention taking over, pause, ask "What does this moment call for?" and do the next best thing, imperfectly. You'll get pulled back into self-monitoring. That's okay. That's actually the practice. That's where the real strength is built.    About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app:  Spotify | Apple | YouTube      Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this series: Not Feeling Confident & Want to Know How to Increase Confidence In Yourself? Start By Seeing Confidence as Trust, Not a Feeling [ep. 273] Building Confidence with Mindful Acceptance (even when anxiety, self-doubt, & the harsh inner-critic show up) [ep. 274] You Are Not Your Thoughts: Cognitive Defusion for Confidence & to Change Your Relationship With Self-Critical Thoughts [ep. 275]  Confidence, Motivation, & Values: Focusing on Direction, Not Perfection [ep.276] Self-Focused vs. Task-Focused Attention & How Great Things Are Done by a Series of Small Things[ep. 277] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Access here. Donnelly et al. Do people know how others view them? Two approaches for identifying the accuracy of metaperceptions. Access here. Hayes et al. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Unified Model of Behavior Change. Access here. More about Victor Frankl's work from VFIA.   Full transcript here   Common Questions: Q: How do I actually start building confidence when I don't feel confident at all? A: Start with small committed actions (not big goals) that are aligned with your values and take those small actions even when you feel doubtful or uncomfortable. These small actions are the most important starting point, they collect evidence your nervous system can learn from (I can do it!), and the feeling of confidence can follow those small actions.   Q: Why does my anxiety get worse when I'm in the middle of doing something I care about? A: That's self-focused attention. Your energy and focus gets redirected from the task to self-monitoring and threat-detection; this episode explains the neuroscience, introduces the shift to task-focused attention, and gives you a simple one-question reset to bring your prefrontal cortex back online.   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome to the final episode of the Confidence series — committed action, the last step [00:30] Recap of the series: Ep. 274 (being with discomfort), Ep. 275 (unhooking from thoughts), Ep. 276 (clarifying values) — now it's time to act [01:00] Quoting Dr. Russ Harris: "The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later." [01:30] Henry: up until now, we've done the inner work — now it's time for the outer work [02:00] Committed action: moving toward what matters even when uncomfortable, doubtful, or uncertain [02:30] ACT's psychological flexibility: being present with thoughts, feelings, and sensations without letting them stop you [03:30] The amygdala learns through action: "Oh, I just handled that. This isn't as dangerous as I thought." Over time the alarm quiets — not because you forced it, but because you gave it evidence that you can do hard things [04:30] Aimee: psychological flexibility is at the heart of courage and confidence — it's not the absence of self-doubt, it's the ability to be with it [06:00] Experiencing anxiety during a task is not a reliable predictor of performance — that is liberating [07:00] The real performance problem: not the anxiety, but the anxiety about the anxiety — self-focused attention [07:30] Self-focused attention: running assessments about being judged, picking apart your performance in real time, obsessing over the shaky voice or red patches [08:00] Russ Harris's hands-over-eyes metaphor: your thoughts are your hands — self-focused attention is covering your eyes with them [09:30] Cognitive defusion creates the space — unhook from the thoughts, shift attention to the task [10:00] The task-focused question: "What does this moment call for? What can I do right now?" [11:00] Self-focused attention takes the prefrontal cortex partially offline; shifting to task-focused attention brings the prefrontal cortex back online — clearer thinking, more flexibility, better performance [12:30] You don't have to wait until self-critical thoughts stop — you can have them AND shift your attention to the task [14:00] You'll get pulled back into self-focus — that's okay; that's another repetition, another chance to reset [15:30] This is why Joy Lab's experiments lean on mindfulness — the practice of returning attention is the whole skill [16:00] Rather than big hairy audacious goals — work on what we've already built: defusing thoughts, clarifying values, task-focused attention [17:30] As confidence builds in one area, it spreads to others — "I can do hard things" becomes a foundation [19:00] Confidence is not a destination — it's an ongoing practice; some days self-doubt is louder, and the practice is showing up anyway [20:00] Dr. Anne Wilson Schaef: "Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves." [20:30] Small imperfect actions are part of the best of who we are — that resilient nature to take small steps that build [20:45] Joy Lab final Experiment for the Element of Confidence is available [21:00] Closing wisdom from Vincent van Gogh: "Great things are done by a series of small things brought together."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Dr. Guy Winch is a psychologist, bestselling author, and one of the most trusted voices on emotional health in the world — his TED Talks have racked up over 35 million views, and his books have been translated into 30 languages. His latest, Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life, tackles burnout, rumination, and the invisible ways work bleeds into everything else — our relationships, our health, our sense of self. Guy also co-hosts the Ambie-nominated Dear Therapists podcast and has advised governments and companies like Unilever and Apellis on mental health. In this conversation, we get into what burnout actually feels like from the inside, why "finishing work" has nothing to do with closing your laptop, and the vacation science that changed how Guy himself takes time off, including: How to recognize it's time to quit your job The biggest mistake people make when decompressing after work The dangers of ruminating about work after work How to test for work culture during the interview process Why "who" you work for is the most important factor of your success and more Please consider leaving me a review!

Ambie and Crystal discuss a couple games they played recently, including The Detective Society: Family Adventures and MECCHA CHAMELEON. Then in our penultimate episode we talk about some tips and tricks for building (or maintaining) a board game collection. In our final "Board Game Etymology" segment, Crystal discusses the origins of the word "blitz." 0:00-Intro 0:45-Announcements 1:25-Recent Games - The Detective Society: Family Adventures 5:49-MECCHA CHAMELEON 11:15-Ways of Learning 25:02-Board Game Etymology - ‘Blitz' 27:04-Outro 28:25-Bloopers Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/442

When confidence is built on external approval, performance, and outcomes, it's fragile. It's also a fragile support for motivation that depends on getting the win, which then boosts your confidence and motivation temporarily, priming you to start the search for your next win to fuel your sense of confidence and refill your motivation tank. The problem comes when the wins sit far apart and your , confidence and motivation start to run on fumes. Or, if you try and fail, then your confidence and motivation can collapse. This episode offers a more durable foundation for your confidence and motivation to be built on: your values. When you ground your confidence in your values rather than your performance, the question shifts from "Did I nail it?" to "Did I show up in alignment with what matters to me?" We'll dig into some practical values-clarification exercises to help you identify your values and follow-up next episode with how to take action. Here's the list of values from Dr. Brene Brown that we referenced: https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/ Note: This episode includes a brief reference to gun violence at 3:30. You can skip to 4:50 or 6:00 to avoid that section.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Common Questions & Mental Health Tips from this Episode: Q: What do my values have to do with building confidence? A: When confidence is anchored in values rather than performance and external approval, it becomes something you practice daily rather than something you achieve once and lose the next time you fail; this episode explains the shift and offers a twist on Viktor Frankl's three-category framework for identifying your own values. Q: How do I figure out what my values actually are and not what I think they should be? A: This episode offers a practical exercise using a twist on Viktor Frankl's categories (what you love to give, what you love to receive, what you stand up for). Henry also gives specific guidance on noticing when you're answering authentically vs. answering how you think you should.   Key moments: [00:00] Content note: brief reference to gun violence at 3:30 — skip to 4:50 or 6:00 to avoid [00:30] Welcome back to the Element of Confidence — introducing values clarification as the next step [01:00] How confidence gets built on external factors: performance, "shoulds," what others think of us. This creates fragile confidence that's dependent on outcomes, approval, hitting specific standards [02:00] The shift: grounding confidence in values rather than performance [03:00] Values are not something you achieve — they're something you live from, an ongoing practice [03:30] Henry's story: asked to speak to a community deeply shaken by a school shooting [note: gun violence reference here — skip to 4:50 to avoid] [04:50] Henry's internal shift: moving from "do I have the expertise?" to "how can I show up with compassion?" [05:30] The result: compassion-based confidence doesn't require perfection, it requires alignment [06:00] When you're grounded in values, the question isn't "did I nail it?" — it's "did I show up with care?" [07:00] Defining values: the compass, not the destination — many of Joy Lab's Elements of Joy are values  [07:30] Aimee shares the ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) definition of values from Wilson and DuFrene — and why it's worth unpacking [08:00] Values are freely chosen — not what we've been told should matter, but what actually does [08:30] Values are verbally constructed and flexible — not rigid, not locked to immediate consequences [09:00] Values make effort more meaningful — the effort itself matters, not just the outcome [09:30] Intrinsic engagement: when we act in alignment with values, that alignment itself is reinforcing [10:30] Values-based motivation is more sustainable — you don't have to feel confident to act, or achieve a goal to know you're doing something that matters [11:30] Values-based motivation is more durable: outcomes are unpredictable; your values aren't [12:30] Values are not meant to become another "should" — they're for direction, not perfection [13:00] Henry coins it accidentally: "Values are for direction, not perfection" — Aimee immediately wants it on a T-shirt [14:00] The exercise: Viktor Frankl's three categories of values with a Joy Lab twist [14:30] Creative values: what do you love to give? Ways you contribute your talents to the world [15:00] Experiential values: what do you love to receive? What you love to witness or be part of [15:30] Attitudinal values: what do you stand up for? What you hold onto when things are hard [16:30] How to do it: three lists, pen and paper, free write — then look for themes that point to values  [17:30] Some things that give you knots in your stomach may not align with your values at all — useful information [18:00] Things that do align with your values: worth pushing through the discomfort for [18:30] Henry: your values are yours — not your parents', your culture's, or what you think you should have [19:00] Notice if you're answering authentically or answering how you think you should — pause and ask "what do I actually care about?" [19:30] Values are not static — how Henry values compassion at 60 is different from how he valued it at 30 [20:00] Don't let values become another source of self-judgment — they're a direction, not a performance standard [21:30] This is what confidence grounded in values actually looks like: commitment to the direction, self-compassion when you fall short [22:30] Preview of next episode: taking action — bring your values lists, we'll put them to work [23:30] Closing wisdom from Dr. Howard Thurman: "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."   Full transcript, sources and links mentioned: https://www.joylab.coach/podcasts/joy-lab-podcast/episodes/2149229954    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

You've likely had a situation where you wish you had confidence, but instead felt full of self-criticism, self-judgement, imposter feelings, and anxiety. The good news is that skills like cognitive defusion (the practice of loosening the grip that self-critical thoughts have on you) can help tremendously to help you get some space from those overwhelming thoughts. We'll dig into these thoughts in this episode, explore why they rise up, and introduce some practical tips and strategies to help you work with them. These powerful mental health tips will help create some space between you and your thoughts, helping you to take actions that build your confidence.    About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).      Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this series: Not Feeling Confident & Want to Know How to Increase Confidence In Yourself? Start By Seeing Confidence as Trust, Not a Feeling [ep. 273] Building Confidence with Mindful Acceptance (even when anxiety, self-doubt, & the harsh inner-critic show up) [ep. 274] You Are Not Your Thoughts: Cognitive Defusion for Confidence & to Change Your Relationship With Self-Critical Thoughts [ep. 275]    Related episodes: How to Calm the Mind & Not Feed the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) [ep. 264]   Rumination: What It Is and How to Break Free From It [ep. 205]   Imposter Syndrome is a Myth [ep. 175] What Imposter Syndrome Really Is [ep. 276] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Access here. Donnelly et al. Do people know how others view them? Two approaches for identifying the accuracy of metaperceptions. Access here. Hayes et al. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Unified Model of Behavior Change. Access here. More about Victor Frankl's work from VFIA.   Full transcript here   Common Questions & Mental Health Tips from this Episode: Q: How do I stop self-critical thoughts from taking over right before something important? A: This episode teaches cognitive defusion, a practice from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that loosens the grip self-critical thoughts have on you without fighting or suppressing them; two specific techniques that we added in this episode (the "thank you, brain" method and psychological distancing) give you practical tools to use in the moment.   Q: What's the difference between managing stress and actually changing my relationship with difficult thoughts? A: Stress management techniques are like inner tubes that are genuinely helpful for keeping your head above water. Cognitive defusion goes deeper, shifting you from reactive management to a more fundamental change in your relationship with the thought; this episode explains the distinction and why both have a place.   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome back to the Element of Confidence — introducing cognitive defusion as this episode's core skill [01:00] Sometimes thoughts aren't peaceful branches on a stream — they're the Bunker Hills Wave Pool, circa late '80s [02:30] The lifeguard metaphor as an upgrade to the peaceful river observer — seasoned, present, with a broader view [03:00] The kinds of thoughts that come in like waves: "I'm never gonna get this. I'll embarrass myself. I always screw up. Everyone will think I'm an imposter." [03:30] When thoughts overwhelm: stress response surges, the only thought becomes "how do I get out of this?" [03:45] Reminder: if thoughts are feeling truly overwhelming, reaching out for extra support — therapist, NAMI helpline, 988 — is always an option [04:30] When we stop fusing with or fighting thoughts, they start to get smaller over time [05:30] How fusion works physically: heart rate rises, palms sweat, decisions made from the fused belief [06:00] The thought is not reality — it's neural activity generated by past experience, fear, or ingrained patterns [06:30] Cognitive defusion: loosening the grip, creating space between you and the thought [07:30] Defusion vs. positive thinking or cognitive restructuring: this doesn't fight the thought, it changes the relationship with it [08:30] Aimee introduces self-as-content vs. self-as-context from ACT [09:30] Stress management as inner tubes: helpful for riding waves, but you're still in the pool managing the waves [10:00] Self-as-context: the lifeguard — noticing "I've seen that wave before," seeing the bigger picture, able to take wiser action [10:30] From the lifeguard perspective: "The waves are uncomfortable, but they'll die down" — and you can give yourself true support [11:30] Henry: stress management is great and important — AND it keeps us in reactive mode; defusion is a different level [13:30] Henry on perfectionism and defusion: if you believe you need to be perfect to be confident, you'll become hypervigilant about thoughts [14:30] The truth: you don't have to be perfect; when you accept doubt and mistakes as normal, imperfect thoughts become no big deal [15:00] Aimee: strategies for defusion — not to dispute the thought, but to notice it and loosen its grip [17:00] Strategy 1 — Psychological distancing: "I'm noticing that I'm having the thought that..." instead of just "I'm going to blow it"   [19:00] Adding levity: say the phrase in the silliest voice you can — trailer narrator, romance novel narrator, sports commentator [20:00] Henry introduces Strategy 2 — "Thank you, brain" [20:30] How it works: immediately positions you as observer; paradoxically accepts rather than fights; carries humor that defuses in the moment [22:30] Aimee: this is not about forcing a feeling or suppressing thoughts — it's about letting them matter less [23:00] Connection to last Element (Humility) and right-sizing: letting thoughts take up the space they need, no more, no less [23:30] Preview of next episode: values — what we care about, so we can choose where to put our energy and take action toward confidence [23:45] Closing wisdom from Eckhart Tolle: "The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive... It is not so much that you use your mind wrongly — you usually don't use it at all. It uses you."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Ambie and Crystal discuss a game they both played recently, Playthings. Then we talk about different ways you can learn rules in board games and which are our favorite ways to learn. Remember to check out our new merch! 0:00-Intro 0:40-Announcements 3:05-Recent Games - Playthings 15:04-Ways of Learning 31:15-Outro 32:19-Bloopers Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/441

One of the most essential coping skills for building real confidence is mindful acceptance. This is the practice of noticing that fear, self-doubt, and self-consciousness are present and... that's ok. Henry puts it simply: you're acknowledging there's a passenger on the bus. You're just not letting that passenger drive.  We'll also take some time to name and untangle the harsh inner critic. That's the voice that pretends to be accurate self-assessment but is usually something absorbed from a critical adult long ago and we've just pressed play on ever since. The three key questions Henry raised for distinguishing the harsh inner-critic from your true voice are: Does it attack? Does it use fear and shame? Is it absolute or extreme? If the answers is "Yes" to any of the above, then that's your inner-critic. Your authentic voice is gentler, clearer, and never tries to motivate through fear or shame. Simply acknowledging the difference can take the power away from the inner-critic.     About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app:  Spotify | Apple | YouTube      Full transcript available here.   Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Related episodes about imposter phenomenon: Imposter Syndrome is a Myth [ep. 175] What Imposter Syndrome Really Is [ep. 276] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Access here. Donnelly et al. Do people know how others view them? Two approaches for identifying the accuracy of metaperceptions. Access here. Hayes et al. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Unified Model of Behavior Change. Access here. More about Victor Frankl's work from VFIA.   Common Questions: Q: How do I stop my fear and self-doubt from getting in the way every time I try something new? A: This episode introduces mindful acceptance, the skill of noticing uncomfortable feelings like fear, doubt, and embarrassment without fighting or avoiding them, so they don't hijack your actions. With this skill, the focus doesn't have to be about making the feelings go away, it's more about learning to move forward while they're present.   Q: How do I know if the critical voice in my head is giving me useful information or just tearing me down? A: Here are some important point to help you distinguish your harsh inner critic from your true voice: The inner critic attacks, uses fear and shame as motivation, and deals in absolutes. Your true voice is gentler, more nuanced, and never tries to hurt you.    Key moments: [00:00] Welcome back to the Element of Confidence — recap of last episode's definition: confidence as trust and willingness to act [00:30] How we'll build confidence: Mostly Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) strategies and Dr. Russ Harris' framework [01:00] First step: mindful acceptance — noticing rather than judging, allowing rather than fighting [01:30] What we're accepting: the uncomfortable feelings that arise when we wish we felt confident — nervousness, embarrassment, fear [02:30] Henry: acceptance is not resignation and not agreement with the anxiety [03:00] What acceptance actually is: "I notice I'm feeling anxious. I'm going to take action anyway." [03:30] The bus metaphor: fear and self-doubt are passengers — they don't need to drive [04:00] Why this matters: confidence doesn't come from feeling good first; it comes from acting despite not feeling good [04:30] Aimee's fellowship interview story: knowing all the behavior change theory, then getting a question about Boston housing [05:00] Pterodactyls, not butterflies — the full physical panic experience [05:30] Thirty minutes of talking to suppress the feelings, which only made them worse — the fellowship did not come through [06:30] Henry shares his own story: giving a large talk despite genuine anxiety, using mindful acceptance in real time [07:30] What shifted during the talk: nervousness moved to the background, attention shifted to connection with the audience [08:00] Genuine confidence appeared — not because anxiety was gone, but because he was succeeding despite it [08:30] Mindful acceptance doesn't mean not feeling uncomfortable — it means seeing clearly and choosing your actions anyway [09:30] The performance bell curve: a little anxiety is actually good for performance; fighting it isn't the goal [10:30] Experiential avoidance: using effort to suppress uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, and sensations to feel safer short-term [11:00] The Good Place medium place metaphor: warm beer and marching band music — feeling safe but not really living [11:30] How avoidance is protective in the short term but reinforces the idea that you can't handle the situation [12:30] Irony of avoidance: it boosts the scary power of what we're avoiding; the world gets smaller, anxiety increases [13:00] The brain is blunt — it can't fully distinguish fear of survival from fear of public speaking or starting a new career [13:30] We have to train a willingness: not enthusiasm for discomfort, but openness to experiencing it as part of skill-building [14:00] Henry: avoidance accumulates — the thing avoided gets bigger and scarier, and you sacrifice what you actually wanted [15:00] Social anxiety is up in recent years — fear of rejection is one of the most common mental health challenges [16:00] The brain doesn't distinguish social threats from survival threats — the amygdala alarm sounds equally loud [16:30] You can train your nervous system: every small forward step builds a new neural pathway and builds confidence [17:30] Naming the inner critic: the harsh, self-critical voice that rides along during experiential avoidance [18:00] Aimee's dual monologue during the fellowship interview — speaking outward and critiquing herself inward simultaneously [19:30] The inner critic may sometimes have useful information — and that's worth extracting [20:00] When the information is useful (you don't have the skill yet) versus when it's just harsh and paralyzing [20:30] The inner critic is usually a voice absorbed from a critical adult long ago — pressed play on ever since [21:30] Mindful acceptance: notice the voices, accept they're here, create space and retain energy rather than getting wrapped up [22:00] Henry: the key to working with the inner critic is simply realizing it's not you [22:30] Your authentic voice is gentler, clearer, and never tries to motivate through fear or shame [23:00] How to identify the inner critic: Does it attack? Does it use fear and shame? Is it absolute or extreme? [24:00] Your true voice is nuanced: "This is hard. I'm learning. I'm not there yet." [24:30] Once you recognize the inner critic, something shifts: "Ah, there's that voice again" — like a neighbor's dog barking [25:00] Extract any grain of truth, let the inflated story go, and move forward [26:00] Mindful acceptance: notice the voice, accept it's there, but don't accept what it says — and move forward anyway [26:30] Questions for identifying inner critic vs. true voice — in the show notes and in the Joy Lab Program Experiment [27:00] Preview of next episode: working more with the thoughts that rise up — what to do after you notice them [27:30] Three closing pieces of wisdom: Jon Kabat-Zinn on being awake, Carl Jung on the terror of full self-acceptance, Carl Rogers on the paradox that makes change possible    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube     Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Are you not feeling confident and curious how to increase confidence in yourself? If so, know that you are not alone, you are not suffering from imposter syndrome, and you are not in need of fixing. As we start our series on Confidence, we'll work to dismantle the most common — and most damaging — myth about confidence: that confidence is just a feeling and that you need to be confident before you act.  We'll focus on a confidence reframe: Confidence is a willingness to act and a trust in your own effort, not a feeling of certainty or how others perceive you. We'll lean on Dr. Russ Harris's foundational insight throughout our work: the actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later. The episode also does important myth-busting work around self-worth, self-esteem, and self-efficacy — three concepts we tend to mash together with confidence, often to our detriment. We'll make the case for unconditional self-acceptance over the self-esteem-building culture many of us grew up in, and approach confidence with a fresh and more empowering lens. This episode will set us up for some confidence-building work that is far more nourishing than the usual methods we've been taught. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).      Sources and Notes for our Element of Confidence: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes about imposter phenomenon: Imposter Syndrome is a Myth [ep. 175] What Imposter Syndrome Really Is [ep. 276] Book: The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris, PhD Book: Confidence Culture by Shani Orgad, PhD & Rosalind Gill, PhD Bandura. Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change. Access here. Baumeister et al. Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles? Access here. Donnelly et al. Do people know how others view them? Two approaches for identifying the accuracy of metaperceptions. Access here. Hayes et al. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Unified Model of Behavior Change. Access here. More about Victor Frankl's work from VFIA.   Full transcipt here   Common Questions: Q: Why don't I feel confident even when I know I'm capable of something? A: Because confidence isn't just a feeling and it's not just about self-efficacy or your belief in your capabilities. This episode explains the neuroscience behind why waiting for the feeling often means waiting forever, and offers a more empowering definition to work with instead. Q: What's the difference between confidence, self-esteem, self-efficacy, and self-worth? A: This episode untangles all four: self-worth is your sense of inherent value, self-esteem is a more fragile self-evaluation based on comparison and performance, and self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to do a specific task. Confidence (redefined here as trust and willingness to act) can draw on all three, but is its own concept and understanding the differences can be genuinely freeing.     Key moments: [00:00] Welcome to the new Element of Confidence — and the central premise: you don't need to feel confident to practice it [02:00] The cost of waiting for a feeling that wasn't coming — staying small, timid, paralyzed [03:30] The neuroscience: the amygdala looks for certainty before giving the green light to act [05:00] The common (and limiting) definition of confidence: a feeling, tied to certainty and how others perceive us [05:30] How imposter syndrome suffers from the same definitional hijacking [06:00] The reframe: confidence from Latin "com" (with) + "fidere" (trust) — to trust with [06:30] A behavioral definition: trust in your effort and a willingness to act — not a feeling [07:00] Dr. Russ Harris, The Confidence Gap: "The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later." [08:00] The swimming example: you don't feel confident first — you flail, then build confidence through repeated action [10:30] Fear is not the enemy and not the opposite of confidence — you need your threat detection system [11:00] How a feelings-only model of confidence puts 100% of the blame on the individual [11:30] Systemic and community barriers to confidence: healthcare disparities, pay gaps, and their real impact [12:30] Why "just feel more confident" is where toxic positivity lives — and why it doesn't address real barriers [13:00] Holding personal and collective responsibility together — confidence as a practiced relationship with uncertainty [14:00] Henry: confidence as trust and willingness to act becomes relational — built with self, others, and systems [15:00] Real confidence: acting precisely when you feel fearful, doubtful, and uncertain [16:00] Untying confidence from self-worth, self-esteem, and self-efficacy [16:30] Self-worth: how positively or negatively you perceive your value — and Dr. Albert Ellis's argument that it isn't actually up for evaluation [17:00] Self-esteem: more granular, shaped by frequent self-comparisons and judgments — fragile when tied to external validation [18:00] Self-efficacy: belief in your ability to do well in a specific situation — changeable, actionable, and domain-specific [19:00] How comparison and self-judgment can erode self-worth when held too tightly [19:30] The case for unconditional self-acceptance over self-esteem — Ellis's argument revisited [21:30] Henry unpacks the distinctions: comparison-based self-esteem (fragile, quicksand) vs. self-efficacy (grounded, built through repeated success) vs. self-worth (solid foundation, not performance-dependent) [23:00] Real confidence as a combination: building self-efficacy through action, grounding in unconditional self-worth, practicing self-acceptance [23:30] How early conditional approval ("I love you when you get good grades") shapes where you start — but doesn't have to be where you stay [24:30] None of these are fixed traits — they are skills that can be developed through practice [25:30] Preview: building this Element with Dr. Russ Harris's frameworks and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), with a Joy Lab twist [25:45] Closing wisdom from Seneca: "It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Ambie and Crystal discuss a couple games they played recently, including The Case of the Curiously Quiet Theater, Alibi: 3 Intricate Mysteries, and Flip 7: With A Vengeance. Then we talk about the similarities and differences between deduction, social deduction, and bluffing in board games. 0:00-Intro 0:50-Recent Games - The Case of the Curiously Quiet Theater 5:43-Alibi: 3 Intricate Mysteries 12:06-Flip 7: With A Vengeance 15:26-Deduction & Bluffing 30:06-Outro 31:09-Bloopers Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/440

Humility is one of the most quietly powerful practices for positive psychology and mental health. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Here's the heart of it: humility is not a weakness. It's not about making yourself small or performing modesty for social approval. It's an accurate, grounded sense of self, what Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren calls "right-sizing." You own your strengths and weaknesses. And you hold your worth steady through all of it. We explored four types of humility this month: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential. And we worked through three core ingredients to build humility up: Know Yourself. This is where self-compassion becomes essential. Self-knowledge without self-compassion tends to slide into rumination — that harsh, looping self-focus that keeps us stuck. Dr. Kristin Neff's research reminds us that genuine self-reflection requires feeling safe enough to look clearly, without bracing for an attack. When self-compassion is in place, honest self-awareness becomes possible. So does recognizing things like the better-than-average effect, which is our tendency to unconsciously and inaccurately position ourselves as a little more right, and others a little more wrong. Humility gently corrects that drift. Check Yourself. This is ego territory. When we feel threatened, the ego rises up. We deflect, deny, shut down, intellectualize. It's a very human, very normal response. But it doesn't have to run the show. One of the most practical tools from this series: when you feel defensive, pause. Breathe. Then ask yourself, "What would I think if I weren't feeling defensive?" That question can create some space for the ego to stand down and lets emotional regulation take over instead of reactivity. Go Beyond Yourself. This is where the magic of humility really shows itself as we build a genuine curiosity about other people and life's bigger questions. The self-forgetfulness that C.S. Lewis describes as essential to humility puts it all into action. When we're not so consumed by ourselves, the world opens up. And that's where connection, meaning, and joy actually show up in more noticeable, lasting ways. If you've worked through this series and feel less certain than when you started, that's not a problem. That's the practice of humility in action. Sitting with uncertainty, tolerating what's unresolved, resisting the cultural pressure toward easy answers and performed confidence is peak courage. It's often uncomfortable and it's always worth it. If this work has stirred something that feels bigger than you want to carry alone, please reach out to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support community. Seeking support isn't weakness. It's an act of humility and one of the most courageous things you can do. And for Joy Lab Program members: your Episode Experiment includes a guided meditation and journal prompts to help you harvest and integrate the work you've done this month.  We close with Rilke (we know, we close with Rilke a lot!): "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." Keep tending to your humility. It grows good things.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).       Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Common Questions: Q: How do I stop being so hard on myself without losing self-awareness? A: Self-compassion and self-knowledge are partners. As researcher Dr. Kristin Neff puts it, "You can look clearly at yourself when you're not afraid of what you'll find." Self-compassion creates the psychological safety for honest, accurate self-appraisal, replacing harsh rumination with compassionate self-reflection. Humility is the result: an accurate, grounded sense of self that's neither inflated nor deflated. Q: Why does being humble feel so uncomfortable and countercultural? A: Because in many ways, it is. We live in a world that often rewards certainty, self-promotion, and being right, even when those things don't actually nourish us. Building humility means opening up to uncertainty and the unknown, which takes real courage. The good news is that discomfort is also building something called uncertainty-tolerance, a form of emotional resilience that reaches across every area of your life in really nourishing ways.   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome & orientation — Aimee frames the three-part humility arc (Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself) [01:30] Henry's realization: humility, like every Joy Lab Element, is ultimately about learning to love well and connect more deeply [03:00] Why humility is the antidote to loneliness — the difference between being surrounded by people and being genuinely seen; how isolation is really a form of alienation [05:00] What it feels like to be with a truly humble person — and why humility makes us safer, more trustworthy, and more magnetic in relationships and communities [06:30] The traffic circle of defensiveness — Aimee on why the risk of being burned by someone is still better than a lifetime of self-protective looping [07:30] Epistemic humility explained — the idea that your understanding of reality is always partial, always filtered, always a vantage point. And so is everyone else's. (Plus: a pronunciation debate.) [08:45] Why disagreement doesn't mean someone is wrong, and how truth is larger than any one person's grasp of it [10:30] William James on the deepest craving in human nature: to be appreciated and seen [11:00] Two practical strategies for going beyond yourself: (1) deep, active listening as a humility practice — not formulating your response, but truly receiving another person; (2) seeing the innocence of others [12:30] Thich Nhat Hanh: "Listen until they empty their hearts." Henry shares this as a guide for showing up and listening [13:30] Seeing the innocence in others — Henry's 30+ years of clinical wisdom distilled: most people are doing the best they can with what they have, right now. How holding that awareness softens judgment without eliminating boundaries [15:30] Aimee reflects: "That's the wisdom I'd want somebody to hold when they see me messing up." [16:00] Experiment preview for Joy Lab Program members + closing Rumi quote: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Humility is a powerful mental health tool we have. The science of happiness is clear: genuine connection and belonging are among the strongest predictors of emotional resilience and wellbeing. In this episode of Joy Lab we'll explore the final dimension of humility: going beyond yourself. Building on Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework from Humble, we'll explore how knowing yourself and checking your ego aren't the finish line. That's prep work so you can show up for others with open eyes and an open heart. Whether you've been lonely, stuck in defensive loops, or just tired of running into yourself everywhere you turn, this episode offers a warm, science-grounded roadmap toward deeper connection. This is Episode 4 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program (get your 7-day free trial!). Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Full transcript      Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Start your 7-day free trial now. Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Check Yourself: Ego Threat, Stress Relief, & Needing to Prove Yourself [270] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome & orientation — Aimee frames the three-part humility arc (Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself) [01:30] Henry's realization: humility, like every Joy Lab Element, is ultimately about learning to love well and connect more deeply [03:00] Why humility is the antidote to loneliness — the difference between being surrounded by people and being genuinely seen; how isolation is really a form of alienation [05:00] What it feels like to be with a truly humble person — and why humility makes us safer, more trustworthy, and more magnetic in relationships and communities [06:30] The traffic circle of defensiveness — Aimee on why the risk of being burned by someone is still better than a lifetime of self-protective looping [07:30] Epistemic humility explained — the idea that your understanding of reality is always partial, always filtered, always a vantage point. And so is everyone else's. (Plus: a pronunciation debate.) [08:45] Why disagreement doesn't mean someone is wrong, and how truth is larger than any one person's grasp of it [10:30] William James on the deepest craving in human nature: to be appreciated and seen [11:00] Two practical strategies for going beyond yourself: (1) deep, active listening as a humility practice — not formulating your response, but truly receiving another person; (2) seeing the innocence of others [12:30] Thich Nhat Hanh: "Listen until they empty their hearts." Henry shares this as a guide for showing up and listening [13:30] Seeing the innocence in others — Henry's 30+ years of clinical wisdom distilled: most people are doing the best they can with what they have, right now. How holding that awareness softens judgment without eliminating boundaries [15:30] Aimee reflects: "That's the wisdom I'd want somebody to hold when they see me messing up." [16:00] Experiment preview for Joy Lab Program members + closing Rumi quote: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop."    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Facebook YouTube   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Ambie and Crystal are joined by Ambie's kids to talk about their time at KublaCon this year! They talk about mini painting, the things they saw, and the games they played. Ambie and Crystal also talk about some games they played. 0:00-Intro 0:39-Kublacon Recap 14:41-Ambie's KublaCon 27:53-Outro Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/439

Humility and mental health are more connected than you might think. And if you add self-compassion to the humility-ego mix, then you have a recipe that can support mood, offer stress relief, and give your mind and body a break from constantly trying to defend yourself. We'll dig into all this with the "Check Yourself" step of the humility framework, unpacking ego threat, defensive thinking patterns, and the very human stress response that kicks in when we feel criticized, wrong, or uncertain. Spoiler: the ego is not the villain here. It's more like an overzealous bodyguard, and humility is how you can teach it to stand down. This is Episode 3 of Joy Lab's Element of Humility series, following Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework: know yourself, check yourself, and go beyond yourself.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube     Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Know Yourself: The Humility Practice That Quiets Rumination and Builds Emotional Resilience [ep. 269] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Tara Brach's website Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00] Welcome and episode framing — checking ourselves means we accept that we don't know it all, recognize our own cultural lenses, and can sit with uncertainty without losing ourselves. [02:00] Henry on accepting uncertainty as a form of letting go of control — and why the self-knowledge work from last episode makes this possible. True inner strength means being secure enough to admit when you're wrong and hold your ground when you need to. [04:00] Enter: the ego. Aimee makes the case that the ego isn't the root of all evil. A healthy ego helps us maintain a coherent, positive sense of self. The problem isn't the ego itself; it's when the ego runs the whole show, making every decision from a place of fear. [06:30] Ego threat explained — when criticism, mistakes, or uncertainty shake our sense of self, a stress response activates. This triggers cognitive distortions: black-and-white thinking, confirmation-seeking, and rigid beliefs. It's common, it's wired in, and it doesn't have to take us down. [08:30] Henry's bodyguard metaphor: the ego is a zealous protector that sometimes overreacts wildly — treating a questioned idea like a life-or-death threat. Humility doesn't fire the bodyguard. It just teaches it to relax. [11:00] Signs the bodyguard has overstepped. Aimee walks through the obvious ones (counterattacking, deflecting, blame-shifting) and the subtler ones (shutting down, overexplaining, people-pleasing, doubling down on beliefs to avoid uncertainty). If you're nodding, you're in good company. [13:00] Henry adds the physical signs of ego threat to watch for: chest tightness, heat rising, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Your body knows you're in ego threat before your mind does. Also: the urgency to respond immediately, spinning narratives to justify reactions, needing the last word. [15:00] The good news — and the real mental health payoff. Admitting mistakes makes us more liked and respected. Humility builds psychological safety in relationships, keeps small harms from becoming earthquakes, reduces thought distortions, and separates self-worth from performance. It's a genuine resilience-booster. [17:00] Henry's three-step in-the-moment practice: pause (especially when it feels most urgent), take one slow breath (gives your brain a chance to come back online), and ask "What would I think about this if I weren't feeling defensive?" Shift from threat response to curiosity response — and still hold your ground if you need to, just from a grounded place. [19:00] Aimee adds supportive touch as an emotional regulation tool — hands stacked gently on the body, a breath, a moment of self-compassion. Getting out of the traffic circle doesn't require a response or a win. Sometimes you just drive on your way. [20:30] Closing wisdom from Tara Brach: "The ego is not your enemy, it is your partner. Make peace with it."   Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Humility is a powerful (and mostly misunderstood) mental health skill that's grounded by self-knowledge and self-compassion. Humility is also a powerful antidote to rumination and harsh self-criticism and a tool to support mood and emotional resilience. We'll build up humility through this series by taking a positive psychology approach along with Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework to build humility (know yourself, check yourself, go beyond yourself.) This episode is all about Step 1 (know yourself) and it turns out it's both the most uncomfortable and the most freeing place to start. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube   Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Episodes in this Humility series: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth it for Mental Health [ep. 268] Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Find more about Neff's work on Self-compassion at Self-Compassion.org More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation.  Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00] Why self-knowledge comes first in the humility framework — and why skipping it makes the rest of the work harder. [02:00] The humility paradox: who scores highest on self-reported humility? People with narcissistic traits. What this reveals about why self-knowledge matters. [04:30] Reflection vs. rumination: same self-focused action, completely different energy — and very different effects on anxiety and depression. [07:30] Clark Griswold on the roundabout: Aimee's perfect visual for rumination, plus Van Tongeren's concept of "right-sizing yourself." [09:30] Obstacle #1: The idealized self. When the gap between who you are and who you think you should be stops motivating and starts deflating. [12:00] Obstacle #2: The better-than-average effect. Most of us rank ourselves above average — and that's statistically impossible. How this positivity bias quietly inflates us. [14:30] Obstacle #3: The harsh inner critic disguised as self-awareness. Why beating yourself up isn't humility — it's ego turned inward. [17:00] Dr. Kristin Neff's insight: self-compassion is the foundation of honest self-awareness. You can look clearly when you're not afraid of what you'll find. [19:30] Rumination as an internal courtroom — and Aimee's personal story about chronic lateness, hard feedback from a friend, and what it took to actually receive it. [23:30] Henry's simple journaling practice: notice what you observed about yourself this week. No analysis, no judgment — just patterns, held gently. [25:30] Preview of next week's "Check Yourself" episode, and a closing note from Aristotle.   Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Humility is not a weakness or a sign you're a pushover, instead it's a mental health tool that just might be exactly what our loneliness epidemic and anxiety culture are desperately craving. Humility is an accurate, grounded sense of who you are. And that grounded sense of self is a foundation for confidence, deeper connection, and holistic mental health. Here's what we'll explore this episode: There are four research-backed types of humility to focus on: Relational humility — how you hold yourself in relation to others; not above, not below Intellectual humility — holding beliefs with openness; curiosity over certainty Cultural humility — recognizing the limits of your own cultural lens and genuinely welcoming differences Existential humility — making peace with uncertainty, impermanence, and the big unanswerable questions of human life You might be doing great in one area and struggling in another (that's normal). These types aren't perfectly clean categories, but they offer areas for self-reflection and focus as you work to boost your humility and emotional wellbeing throughout the month.  With these areas in mind, we'll use researcher Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's framework to build humility through three core ingredients: Know Yourself — honest self-awareness of strengths and limits, without self-preoccupation Check Yourself — reducing defensiveness and the need to protect your ego Go Beyond Yourself — cultivating empathy and humility as a deep relational practice These three ingredients aren't just a nice framework for self improvement, they're a pathway to reducing loneliness, increasing connection, and building the kind of holistic healing and joy that Joy Lab is all about. If you're in the Joy Lab Program, your first Experiment will help you locate yourself within these four types and start the work.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab Program. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).    Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch on YouTube     Sources and Notes for our Element of Humility: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  More on C.S. Lewis from the C.S. Lewis Foundation. Book: Humble by Daryl Van Tongeren, PhD Hagá & Olson. 'If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect': Children's and adults' perceptions of intellectually arrogant, humble, and diffident people. Access here. Nielsen & Marrone. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations. Access here. Porter et al. Predictors and consequences of intellectual humility. Access here. Van Tongeren et al. Humility. Access here.  Weidman et al. The psychological structure of humility. Access here. Wright et al. The psychological significance of humility. Access here. Wendell Berry's book Standing by Words   Key moments: [00:00:00] Welcome + intro to Joy Lab's Element of Humility — solo episode with Dr. Aimee Prasek [00:00:30] Clearing up the bad takes: what humility is not — not weakness, not martyrdom, not dismissing your talents [00:01:00] The social science of humility: why we're drawn to humble people from mid-adolescence on, and why it primes us for connection [00:02:00] Humility as antidote to certainty culture and self-destructive perfectionism; the formal definition unpacked [00:02:45] C.S. Lewis on humility as self-forgetfulness — and the powerful paradox it reveals about hyper self-focus [00:03:30] The reframed Lewis quote: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself — it's thinking of yourself less often" [00:04:15] Introducing the four research-backed types of humility: relational, intellectual, cultural, and existential [00:05:00] Deep dive into intellectual, cultural, and existential humility — leaning into curiosity over certainty [00:06:00] Why humility is harder than other Elements — and why it's worth it anyway [00:07:00] The obstacles: certainty culture, fear of being wrong, pressure to perform vs. just be [00:08:00] Ego protection, the stress response, and why humility can feel like a physical threat to the nervous system [00:08:45] Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren's three ingredients for building humility: Know Yourself → Check Yourself → Go Beyond Yourself [00:09:45] Humility as medicine for the loneliness epidemic, anxiety, and depression — why culture is craving this right now [00:10:30] What's coming next: knowing ourselves, plus your first Joy Lab Program Experiment [00:11:00] Closing poem: The Real Work by Wendell Berry   Full transcript here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

It's our 10 year anniversary episode! In this special episode, Ambie and Crystal reminisce about how the podcast started and what's happened with it in the past 10 years. Then Ambie has a special trivia game for Crystal to celebrate the 10 year anniversary! We also have a special announcement at the end of the episode. And check out our new merch! 0:00-Intro 0:41-Merch Sale! 1:41-10 Years of Blitz 21:52-10 Year Trivia Game 22:49-Question 1 24:56-Question 2 26:11-Question 3 26:58-Question 4 28:15-Question 5 28:59-Question 6 30:10-Question 7 31:58-Question 8 33:20-Question 9 35:42-Question 10 39:06-Bonus Question 41:03-Announcement 43:11-Outro 44:15-Bloopers Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/438

Spoiler: you were never meant to do this alone. In the final episode of Joy Lab's Resilience series, Dr. Aimee Prasek and Dr. Henry Emmons explore the most powerful — and most underrated — ingredient in lasting resilience: deep, meaningful connection. They unpack the neuroscience of belonging, the illusion of separation that quietly wrecks our wellbeing, and two surprisingly accessible practices: shared-joy and moral elevation. These practices can open us to greater connection right now, no personality overhaul required. The takeaway from this episode is that deep connection isn't a bonus feature of a resilient life. It's the foundation. And the good news? You're already wired for it.   Try It Free

We're in our Element of Resilience and we're going somewhere most mental health conversations completely skip: the heart.  Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek unpack why mental health has been so brain-centric for so long, what the field of neurocardiology is revealing about the heart's role in how we feel, think, and connect, and why ancient healing traditions were frankly ahead of the curve on all of this. Then they walk through three practical, research-backed heart-centered practices to support your mental health: self-acceptance, loving-kindness, and compassion. Henry also shares a simple, portable exercise called The Three Kindnesses that you can do anywhere, anytime. Whether you've been with us throughout this series or this is your first episode, this one is a great entry point into what Joy Lab is really about.   Try It Free

Guy Winch: Mind Over Grind Guy Winch is a psychologist and bestselling author who advocates for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. His TED talks have attracted over 35 million views, and his books have been translated into more than 30 languages. He is co-host of the Ambie-nominated Dear Therapists podcast and the author of the book Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life (Amazon, Bookshop)*. Some of our parents got to work in the morning, put in a full day, and then by dinner time, didn't think about work or do it until the next morning. That's not reality for a lot of us today, so in this conversation, Guy and I explore what you can do to take back your evenings. Key Points Most work stress isn't experienced at work. Healthy thinking is intentional and leads us somewhere useful. Unhealthy thinking (rumination) isn't intentional and tends to repeat the same script. It feels more like unpaid work. To interrupt rumination outside of work, first label it and then associate it with disgust, disdain, and annoyance. Treat it like you would a skunk sitting next to you on the couch. Rituals help our brains make a distinction between time to work and time to recover. Rituals are most powerful when they invoke one or more of our five senses to signal a shift to our brains. Often we think of relaxation and recovery the same way our grandparents did who often did more manual work. Work today tends to be more mental and emotional, so indexing on ways to engage physically during recovery times is helpful. Rather than just assuming that doing nothing, sitting on a beach, or seeing the sights is the best vacation, consider engaging in the things you love that you normally don't get to do. Resources Mentioned Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life by Guy Winch (Amazon, Bookshop)* Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal (episode 431) What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438) How High Achievers Begin to Find Balance, with Michael Hyatt (episode 522) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

This is your final invitation! The Joy Lab Program's free 30-day offer ends May 31st — and we want to make sure you know what you're actually being invited into before the door closes. It's not a slick two-and-a-half-hour morning routine. It's not cold plunges or weird concoctions. It's deep, real inner work that often looks a little messy, requires genuine courage and self-compassion, and is worth every bit of the effort. And one of its quieter, underrated gifts: you are not doing it alone. Inside the Joy Lab Program, you're part of a community working on the same experiments, sitting with the same questions, and doing the same hard, worthwhile work together. That matters more than any choreographed wellness performance.   Try It Free

Ambie and Crystal discuss a couple games they played recently, including Got Five! and dnup. Then we hop into our time machine to go back to all the 10 previous years of our Blitzies awards and see which games we still love! 0:00-Intro 0:41-Recent Games - Got Five! 6:57-dnup 11:42-Blitzies Look-back 30:44-Outro Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/437

In this episode of the Joy Lab Podcast, Dr. Aimee Prasek and Dr. Henry Emmons dig into one of the most counterintuitive resilience skills we can build: turning toward negative emotions instead of running from them. This isn't about wallowing. It's about befriending the feelings that are already there so they can actually move through you, instead of getting lodged and piling up.  We're talking fear (the emotion at the core of so many others), the science of emotions vs. feelings, why your emotional immune system needs exposure to develop, and three grounded steps (embody, observe, yield) to help you navigate the next emotional flurry before it becomes a blizzard. This one pairs beautifully with our Grief Series (starting at Episode 248) and our last episode on the observer self. Whether you're new to this work or deep in it, there's something here for you.   Try It Free

Dr. Aimee Prasek drops in with a quick Mental Health Awareness Month reminder and Joy Lab's 30-day free offer. Joy Lab has just launched into the Element of Resilience, and there's no better time to join the Program and start doing this work together.   Try It Free

Episode 94: Ambie Valdés- How Life Changes affect Board Games - Top 5 Kids Games, sort of - Loving on Family and FriendsAmbie Valdés from the Board Game Blitz podcast joins me to talk about how different stages in life change what and how we play board games. I talk about 5 games that are made for kids but adults also enjoy while you get a peek into what games Ambie's twins enjoyed throughout the years. Ending with happy memories with friends and family. Happy 10 year anniversary to the Board Game Bliz Podcast!00:00:00 Intro00:00:36 Get to know Ambie00:04:10 Life Changes and Their Impact on our Gaming tastes and playing00:41:30 Top 5 Games made for Kids00:42:25 Go Away Monster00:44:26 Animal Upon Animal00:47:15 My First Adventure: Finding the Dragon00:51:13 My Little Scythe00:54:26 Zombie Kidz Evolution00:58:19 Drop It01:00:39 MicroMacro: Kids – Crazy City Park01:05:07 Rhino Hero01:09:41 Unlock Series - Unlock! Kids: Detective Stories01:13:09 Brick Like This!01:16:42 Kids Chronicles: Quest for Moon Stones01:21:20 Digging for Dinos01:24:40 Moment of Positivity01:28:18 Where can you find Ambie?Ambie's Websitehttps://portaly.cc/ambievaldeshttps://portaly.cc/BoardGameBlitzBoard Game Day book by Ambie in the BGG Store01:31:42 Outro(Please note that these time stamps might not be accurate due to the use of dynamic ads.)Register for Brave & Bold Learn-to-play events at Gen Conhttps://resurrection.games/products/brave-bold-bag-building-combat-game?variant=48030270587112&UTM_medium=referral&UTM_source=bggpodcast&UTM_campaign=gencon26 The Crew: Make Your Own Missions Contest during the month of May to celebrate the upcoming launch of The Crew: Journey to the Ends of the Earth at Gen Con this summer. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfVvJrK6T1E-95FancGXZPJcS9l6AzoEzxg3TTx6Mbdcfxqew/viewform?usp=sharing&ouid=101624608455211411169Web: https://boardgamegeek.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@boardgamegeekTwitter: https://twitter.com/BoardGameGeekEmail: podcast@boardgamegeek.com

Calming the mind sounds simple, right? And yet most of us would rather do almost anything other than sitting quietly with our thoughts. In this episode, Dr. Aimee Prasek and Dr. Henry Emmons dig into the science of Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs), the surprising research on just how much we think, and the powerful practice of the observer self: the part of your mind that can step back, see what's happening, and choose differently. This episode makes the case that our relationship with our own minds might be the most important resilience work we do.   Try It Free

I'm in Los Angeles for LA WebFest so this is a re-broadcast of Episode 347. I'm posting this now so I don't say any of this out loud this week!Well – I paid $175 to be considered for an Ambie award for The Dragoning (in the DIY category for low budget productions). The Ambies are the podcast awards that the entertainment business seem to take seriously. They're discussed in publications like Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. Was it a smart investment to spend $175 to try and get nominated? If we'd gotten selected for the finals, it definitely would have been. But for a return of absolutely bupkiss, it feels like it's not. It feels like a lot of money to lose just to lose.But then ⁠there's the Oscars⁠. This is why I decided to apply and spend the $175, because of how the Oscars work. The average person imagines that the Oscars are chosen by groups of people getting together, evaluating all the movies and then nominating the best ones. I used to imagine that they watched all the movies that came out that year and awarded the ones the group liked best.It doesn't work like that, come to find out. To read more of ⁠Awards Cost Money⁠ visit the Songs for the Struggling Artist blog. This is Episode 347Song: Participation AwardImage: ⁠AxxLC ⁠via PixabayTo support this podcast:Give it 5 stars in Apple Podcasts. Write a nice review!Rate it wherever you listen or via: ⁠https://ratethispodcast.com/strugglingartist⁠Join my mailing list: ⁠www.emilyrainbowdavis.com/⁠Like the blog/show on Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/SongsfortheStrugglingArtist/⁠Support me on Patreon: ⁠www.patreon.com/emilyrdavis⁠Or help me get to Crete on Kofi: ⁠http://ko-fi.com/emilyrainbowdavis⁠or PayPal me: ⁠https://www.paypal.me/strugglingartist⁠Follow me on Twitter ⁠@erainbowd⁠Me on Mastodon - @erainbowd@podvibes.coMe on Hive - @erainbowd⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Pinterest⁠Tell a friend!Listen to The Dragoning ⁠here⁠ (it's my audio drama) and support via Ko-fi here: ⁠https://ko-fi.com/messengertheatrecompany⁠As ever, I am yours,Emily Rainbow Davis

In this episode, Dr. Aimee Prasek shares some of the origin story behind the Joy Lab Program — from her own years-long climb out of anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, to a pivotal (and infuriating) moment on a psychiatrist's couch that lit a fire for her. Joy Lab exists to normalize mental health experiences, to build on inner strengths, and to help people do more than just survive and to actually flourish.    Try It Free

Ambie and Crystal discuss a couple games they played recently, including Lost in Adventure: The Curse of Jack Parrot and Otter Chaos. Then we reveal our top 5 games of 2025 in our annual awards show, the Blitzies! 0:00-Intro 0:44-Recent Games - Lost in Adventure: The Curse of Jack Parrot 9:51-Otter Chaos 15:15-The 2025 Blitzies 33:51-Outro 34:54-Bloopers Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/436

We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.  "Joyless urgency." Two words that probably just hit a little too close to home. In this episode, Henry Emmons, MD and Aimee Prasek, PhD dig into the Element of Fun — and why so many of us have so little of it. Drawing on the writing of Marilynne Robinson, the surprising decline of kids biking, and sobering research on social media's role in what researchers call problematic engagement, Henry and Aimee make a compelling case that fun isn't frivolous. It's foundational. And reclaiming it might be one of the most radical — and effective — things you can do right now.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Full transcript here   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. More about Marilynne Robinson from The Poetry Foundation Farivar, S., Wang, F., & Turel, O. (2022). Followers' problematic engagement with influencers on social media: An attachment theory perspective. Computers in Human Behavior, 133. Access here. Joy Lab Episodes referenced: Worrier? You're Not Alone. Here's Why We Worry... [ep. 213] Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216] Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217] The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218] Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219]  The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220] Key moments: [00:00:00] — Welcome & The Quote That Started It All Henry and Aimee open with a striking passage from author Marilynne Robinson's essay collection The Givenness of Things: "The spirit of the times is one of joyless urgency." Aimee unpacks why those two words land so hard — and how Robinson's observation that this urgency serves "inscrutable ends that are utterly not our own" is the quiet crisis underneath hustle culture. [00:02:00] — The Question We're Too Busy to Answer We've all had that moment of clarity — what am I doing this for? — only to immediately rush past it into the next task. Aimee names the pattern: sometimes urgency is more comfortable than sitting with the possibility that all this striving might not actually be for us. [00:03:00] — Henry's Childhood Take on Boredom (Wisdom From the Old Wise Rat) Henry reflects on being a kid who dreaded boredom — and how that boredom turned out to be necessary. The inactivity between moments of play is what made the play so rich. Think of it like the pause between musical notes. [00:05:30] — Aimee's Dollar Ice Cream Cone Moment Aimee connects bike riding to early experiences of autonomy and confidence — biking to the corner store with a dollar felt like being a real adult. A sweet illustration of how unstructured play doubles as a training ground for real-world social skills, self-confidence, and approach behavior. [00:07:00] — Social Media and the Architecture of Joyless Urgency Here's where it gets science-y. Aimee connects the joyless urgency framework directly to how most social media platforms are designed — not to satisfy us, but to keep us in a loop of stimulation and momentary relief. The mechanics: activate anxiety, ease it briefly, activate again. Repeat. Sound familiar? [00:08:00] — Problematic Engagement: What the Research Says Aimee introduces the research concept of problematic engagement — used in studies on social media addiction and gambling — which describes the cycle of engaging with something that momentarily eases dis-ease but ultimately causes harm. Key finding: social anxiety is a primary driver, and these platforms are algorithmically built to exploit it. [00:09:30] — The Most Ironic Research Finding People who believe they have complete control over their social media use — who think they could stop at any time — actually show the most signs of problematic engagement. They're absorbing the most harm while feeling the least concerned about it. [00:10:00] — Dr. Samira Farivar Quote + What We're Up Against Aimee references research by Dr. Samira Farivar: "You can't action a problem you don't even know exists." The platform isn't incidental to the problem — it is the business model. We're not weak for falling into this loop. We're human, and the trap was engineered specifically for us. [00:11:30] — The Simple Truth About Adding More Fun Henry brings it home: adding more fun to life is theoretically simple. If we just slow down enough to let our awareness catch up, we'll almost naturally fill that space with something we enjoy. Kids don't need instructions for fun — and adults don't either, once we clear the noise. [00:13:00] — Listening to the Voice That Wants to Play Henry offers a quiet but urgent reminder: our inner wisdom needs to be heard. If we don't honor it, it either goes silent — or gets louder until we can't ignore it. The invitation is to pause, ask what am I doing?, and actually wait for an answer to surface. [00:14:00] — Play Is an Offensive Strategy Aimee closes the conversation with a reframe: fun and play aren't a retreat from the hard stuff in the world. They're a way of moving through it.   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

May is just around the corner and it's Mental Health Awareness Month. At Joy Lab, we believe awareness alone isn't enough. It's time to actually care for your mental health. So we're offering the full Joy Lab Program free for 30 days (offer ends May 31st). No paywall. No catch. Just a genuine invitation to experiment with more joy. In this episode, Aimee walks through exactly why now is the right moment to try the Program and shares the exciting updates that make this the best version of Joy Lab yet.   Try It Free

We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.  Busyness: society's favorite status symbol and one of resilience's sneakiest enemies. In this episode, Henry Emmons, MD and Aimee Prasek, PhD dig into time poverty — the feeling of having too much to do and never enough time to do it — and unpack why so many of us are stuck in this cycle without even realizing it. Spoiler: it's not just about your calendar. They explore the science of adrenal fatigue, the cultural glorification of overwork, a concept called effort justification, and the fears that keep us moving too fast to feel anything. Plus, a practical, almost embarrassingly simple mindfulness trick to help you wake up to your own life — and a cautionary tale about solitaire. About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.  If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin YouTube   Full transcript here     Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life. Episode referenced: Emotional Inertia: Feeling Dull & Disconnected [ep. 207] Annie Dillard's website. Jonathan Gershuny: "Work not leisure, is now the signifier of dominant social status." Closing poem excerpt: Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"   Key moments: [00:00:00] — Welcome & Episode Introduction Henry and Aimee introduce today's topic: busyness as a resilience-depleting habit and a deeper dive into time poverty. [00:01:00] — What Is Time Poverty? Time poverty defined: the feeling of having too much to do and not enough time to do it. The nuance: it's less about how many activities are on your calendar and more about why you feel so strapped — and what you consider time well spent. [00:02:00] — Stress, Perception, and the Hijacked Sense of Time When we're in a chronic stress state, our nervous system makes it virtually impossible to feel like we have enough time. Aimee sets up a connection to adrenal fatigue and how our perception of time gets distorted under prolonged stress. [00:03:30] — Annie Dillard Quote + The Brick-By-Brick Life Henry brings in writer Annie Dillard: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." The key insight: the days we fill with unconscious busyness aren't separate from our life — they are our life. [00:05:30] — Adrenal Fatigue Explained Henry breaks down adrenal fatigue in plain language — not a lab result, but a state of physiological depletion from sustained high stress. When the system gets pushed too long, motivation crashes, fatigue sets in, and it can look a lot like depression. The takeaway: don't wait until you're running on empty. [00:09:00] — Waking Up to Your Own Life Aimee connects the Dillard quote to Joy Lab's core practice: seeing what is. The bricks you're laying right now are already your foundation — you can't outsource that awareness to some future version of yourself. [00:10:00] — Two Reasons We Resist Slowing Down Henry and Aimee identify the two forces keeping people stuck in chronic busyness: A cultural shift that glorifies work over leisure as a status symbol Fear of the emotions that surface when we stop moving [00:10:30] — The Cultural Glorification of Overwork Sociologist Jonathan Gershuny: "Work — not leisure — is now the signifier of dominant social status." Not productivity, not meaning, not mastery. Just logged hours. Aimee connects this to the founder-sleeping-at-the-office mythology and the phenomenon of effort justification — the false belief that harder or more work must be more meaningful work. [00:12:00] — The Bell Curve of Busyness Not all busyness is bad — in fact, too little challenge has its own negative health outcomes. Henry and Aimee describe the bell curve: there's a sweet spot of productive challenge that supports joy and wellbeing. Both ends of that curve — too little and too much — lead to worse outcomes. [00:13:30] — Fear #1: If I Stop, I'll Sink Henry draws on clinical experience with patients who've had to take time off work. The fear of going from frantic to flat is real — but the antidote is surprisingly modest: one or two structured, meaningful activities per day is often enough. [00:15:30] — Fear #2: Running From Emotions The deeper fear beneath chronic busyness — staying in motion to avoid feelings. Henry reflects honestly on using busyness as an avoidance strategy in his own life. It works... until it doesn't. The way out: learning to turn toward emotions rather than away from them. [00:17:30] — Aimee's Cross-Country Escape (And What Followed) Aimee shares that she moved across the country partly to run from her problems — only to discover that her feelings were faster than a plane ticket. A lighthearted but real reminder: avoidance is portable. [00:19:00] — What Is Time Well Spent? The missing link in the time poverty conversation: most of us haven't actually defined what time well spent means to us personally. Key questions to sit with: What do I want to learn or experience? Who energizes me? What leaves me feeling depleted? [00:20:00] — The Time Log Practice A practical tool: track how you spend your minutes for at least three days, noting both the activity and how you feel during it. Many people discover they have more agency over their time than they thought — and they're often spending that discretionary time on things they don't even enjoy. [00:21:00] — The Solitaire Saga Aimee's honest story about downloading a solitaire game for the warm, nostalgic reasons and spending five stressed-out weeks in a dopamine feedback loop before finally deleting it. The point: unconscious habits have real costs — and awareness is the first step to changing them. [00:25:00] — Henry's Mindfulness Shortcut: Expand or Contract? A deceptively simple real-time mindfulness practice: in any given moment, pause and notice whether your chest or belly feels expanded, contracted, or neutral. No judgment. Just notice. Then — over time — start making choices that move you toward more expansion. [00:27:00] — Closing Reflection + Desiderata Aimee closes with lines from Max Ehrmann's poem Desiderata — a meditation on self-compassion, presence, and trusting that the universe is unfolding as it should.   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Ebrard anuncia nueva ronda de diálogo con Greer sobre TMECPor celebración de 100 años del Atlante habrá afectaciones en ReformaAtaque armado en Kiev deja cinco muertosMás información en nuestro podcast#grc

Welcome to season 4 of the Ambie-winning “abandoned: The All-American Ruins Podcast.” Through the immersive power of sonic storytelling, host Blake Pfeil guides you as he follows transmissions reverberating across forgotten spaces throughout the United States. This season, the signal grows stronger: guest hosts step behind the microphone to lead listeners through their own encounters with ruins. Along the way, “abandoned” asks critical questions about American history, culture, community, the environment, technology, and collective mental health, inviting listeners to use imagination as a tool for healing and connection. New episodes every other Thursday starting April 16, 2026.

Ambie and Crystal discuss a couple games they played recently, including Until Proven Guilty: Thirst for Justice and Taskmaster: The Escape Room. Then we talk about what's been going on the last few weeks since Dice Tower West - Ambie's trip to Taiwan and what board games she saw there, and what Crystal was able to play after she recovered from being sick. Nominate us for a Golden Geek Award here! 0:00-Intro 0:39-Announcements 2:00-Recent Games - Until Proven Guilty: Thirst for Justice 6:42-Taskmaster: The Escape Room 12:45-Taiwan & Stuff 28:09-Outro 29:22-Bloopers Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/435

We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.  In this episode of Joy Lab, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek dismantle the idea that balance is a fixed destination you arrive at someday — once the laundry is done, the inbox is empty, and the kids are listening. Spoiler: that day is not coming. Instead, Henry and Aimee reframe equanimity as an active, embodied practice — more like balancing on one foot than standing rigidly still. Drawing on the metaphor of the Equinox, the rhythm of the ocean, and the very real signals your nervous system sends when you've overloaded your plate, they offer two practical, evidence-informed strategies: releasing perfectionism and cultivating outer stillness through the radical act of doing less. Whether you're recovering from burnout, drowning in self-help listicles, or just tired of waiting to feel balanced before you start living, this episode is your permission slip to recalibrate — right now, imperfectly, and with grace.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch this episode on YouTube     Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.   Full transcript here   Key moments: [00:01:00] Defining equanimity — calm, serenity, inner peace, and balance Why "balance" is the most relatable word, even if it's overused and under-understood. [00:01:45] The biggest myth about balance: it's a fixed end state Unpacking the belief: "I just need to get my life in balance and then I can…" — and why it keeps failing us. [00:02:45] Balance as a boat on the ocean Waves, storms, narwhals, manatees — navigating it all is the practice. Balance is not the island. [00:03:45] Physical balance as a mirror for life balance Henry reflects on aging, illness, and how something we once took for granted can become a major effort — and what that teaches us. [00:05:30] When life knocks your reserves out — anxiety, depression, significant stress What once seemed doable can feel insurmountable. Normalizing the experience of losing your footing. [00:06:00] The Equinox metaphor for balance Twice a year, day and night are perfectly balanced — and it lasts a moment. Nature doesn't fight the shift. It flows. [00:07:30] Savoring moments of calm and preparing for inevitable shifts The Equinox teaches us to appreciate balance when we find it — and not to be blindsided when it moves on. [00:08:45] Balancing on one foot — balance is in the balancing Aimee reframes physical balance as wobbling, reassessing, and rebalancing — not rigidity. An invitation to ease up on yourself. [00:09:30] Honest check-in: Joy Lab's own season of imbalance Six months of heavy workload, three months of feeling out of balance — and the confidence that recalibration is possible. [00:11:00] Strategy 1: Let go of perfectionism Aimee breaks down how our vision of "balance" is often a vision of impossible perfection — and how that perfectionism causes us to delay our own self-care indefinitely. [00:12:30] How perfectionism anchors the balance myth We stop doing the things that help us recalibrate until we reach a state that never arrives. The invitation to check in and offer yourself grace.   [00:13:45] Strategy 2: Cultivate outer stillness by doing less Henry's personal strategy — and why it runs counter to every "5 Things Highly Productive People Do" headline in your newsfeed. [00:15:30] What the pandemic unexpectedly taught about doing less When life was stripped back, Henry discovered his life could be rich without being packed full. [00:17:00] Why "do less" is the only wellness strategy with nothing to add to your list No gadgets. No hacks. No hooks for perfectionism. Just awareness and the willingness to say no. [00:17:30] Using your body as a navigation app for balance Tuning into the feeling of being rushed and pressured as a signal to change course — no wearable required. [00:19:00] Aimee's body check-in — stomach tension as a balance metric Instead of opening another listicle, go inward. Your nervous system is already telling you what you need. [00:20:00] We are balanced creatures when we allow ourselves to be Balance isn't about biohacking or concoctions. It's inner stillness and inner wisdom — skills we can all build. [00:21:00] Joy Lab Program and community support A reminder that the podcast is community-supported — and an invitation to go deeper in the Joy Lab Program. [00:21:45] Closing quote from Anna Quindlen     Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

We're in our new "month of renewal" format. We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? This is an encore episode that helps us answer this question. Reminder that we'll be back with new episodes May 1, 2026.  Solitude and fun in the same sentence? Stick with us. In this episode, we'll explore how intentional alone time — free from devices, distractions, and the pressure to perform happiness — can actually be one of the most powerful tools for mental wellness and, yes, even joy. From the neuroscience of arousal states to Trappist monks in rural Iowa, this one is equal parts science and soul.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Podcast episodes referenced:   #73 Lonely in crowded places (this isn't a country music song) (this is the episode that originally played before this one) #28 Common Humanity vs Isolation Related podcast episodes: #72 Blame-It, Overanalyze-It, Should-It, & Separate (BOSS Dominoes) #71 Uncovering Your Playful Nature (guided meditation) #70 Update and Special [Super fun!] Replay #19 The Power of Play: Clocks vs Clouds and Taming Your Wild Things  National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. 2020. Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System. https://doi.org/10.17226/25663 Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions Brain systems underlying the affective and social monitoring of actions: An integrative review How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood Solitude as an Approach to Affective Self-Regulation What Time Alone Offers: Narratives of Solitude From Adolescence to Older Adulthood The Handbook of Solitude: Psychological Perspectives on Social Isolation, Social Withdrawal, and Being Alone, Second Edition Descartes' Meditations Maya Angelou's website    Key moments: [00:01:00] — Defining Solitude Aimee offers a working definition: solitude is the voluntary experience of being alone, without devices or stimuli pulling attention away from oneself. Key distinction: solitude feels full, while loneliness feels like lack. [00:02:30] — Solitude vs. Loneliness: A Useful Parallel Henry draws a parallel between solitude/loneliness and grief/depression — experiences that may look similar on the surface but lead to very different outcomes. Healthy solitude, like healthy grief, can free and open us up. [00:05:00] — Obstacles to Solitude: Social Pressure Aimee calls out the cultural pressure to be perpetually social. In US culture, extroversion is rewarded, "table for one" is framed as sad, and choosing alone time can feel like going against the grain of good mental health — even though meaningful solitude actually supports it. [00:06:30] — The Paradox of American Individualism Henry reflects on how a culture that prizes individualism can simultaneously use constant social activity as a defense against the loneliness that individualism breeds — a potential downward spiral. [00:07:00] — Solitude as the Outbreath: Rhythm and Nature Drawing from his resilience retreat work, Henry introduces the breath as a metaphor for healthy life rhythm: activity needs rest, stress needs recovery, depletion needs renewal. Solitude, he suggests, is the outbreath after the inbreath of companionship and extroversion. [00:09:00] — Descartes on Peaceful Solitude Aimee shares a passage from Descartes' Meditations on the freedom solitude offers — a chance to release rigid opinions and find spaciousness. [00:10:00] — The Neuroscience: Arousal States Explained Aimee breaks down the arousal state spectrum — from deep sleep (lowest) to stress and agitation (highest) — and explains why US culture's incentivizing of high arousal states keeps our nervous systems chronically buzzing. [00:11:00] — High Arousal Positive Affect & Toxic Positivity A nuanced look at the cultural pressure to display high-energy happiness — "high energy on top of high energy" — and why that contributes to nervous system overload and, in Aimee's view, is where toxic positivity lives. [00:12:00] — Low Arousal States and the Healing Power of Solitude Research on how solitude can bring us into lower arousal states — awake, at ease, peaceful — and why that matters for overall balance. Aimee notes that individual differences matter: some people may actually need more activation, not less. [00:14:00] — Henry's Story: Trappist Monks and Medical Training Henry shares how the chronic high-arousal state of his medical and psychiatric training led him to a Trappist monastery in rural Iowa — with no prior knowledge of Catholicism or contemplative practice. He found daily rhythms of work and contemplation, centering prayer (similar to mindfulness meditation), and came out renewed. [00:17:30] — You Don't Need a Monastery Solitude doesn't require a silent retreat or foraging your own food in a cave (though that's an option). It can be 15 minutes in the garden — including relocating a very fat caterpillar eating your parsley. [00:19:30] — What Solitude Can Look Like for You Henry shares his current practice: time in nature when possible, journaling, quiet reflection on what feeds him and what steals his joy. Not productivity — sometimes a crossword or simply zoning out. A.A. Milne gets a well-earned cameo. [00:21:30] — What You'll Find in the Quiet Henry's invitation to those new to solitude: it may feel daunting, but what you'll encounter beneath the surface is worth it. "It's all love." [00:22:30] — Closing Wisdom: Maya Angelou on Solitude Aimee closes with a passage from Maya Angelou on solitude as a desirable condition — a space to listen to yourself, describe yourself to yourself, and hear something deeper.   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Ambie and Crystal discuss Escape Comics: The Alien Ship. Then Ambie interviews Heather Newton, the lead organizer of Protospiel Online, and we learn a bunch about Protospiel and Protospiel Online! 0:00-Intro 0:44-Recent Games - Escape Comics: The Alien Ship 6:34-Interview with Heather Newton 44:55-Outro 45:59-Bloopers See a list of all upcoming Protospiels at http://protospiel.events/ Join the Break My Game Discord https://protospiel.online/joinbmg Join the Protospiel Online Discord https://protospiel.online/community Sign up for Protospiel Online badge sales announcements at https://protospiel.online/future-dates/ Join the Protospiel Online Community Newsletter for news about people and projects from around the Protospiel network https://hello.protospiel.online/ Follow Protospiel Online on social media for Minigame Monday puzzles: Twitch: https://twitch.tv/protospielo Bluesky: @protospielo.bsky.social Mastodon: https://mastodon.social/@protospielo YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@protospielo Instagram: @protospielo Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/protospielo Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/434

We're doing something a little different this month — and a little more of nothing. This is our new "month of renewal" format (happening three times a year in April, August, and December). We're essentially exploring this question throughout the month... what if growth required less effort? Drawing on the wisdom of nature, Parker Palmer's framework for inner work, and a haiku that Henry clearly loves more than he's willing to admit, this episode invites you to stop cramming, sprinting, and self-improving your way through every month of the year. The truth is that growth requires rest. And this month, we'll create the conditions for what already wants to grow in you to actually grow.    About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: [00:00:00] — Welcome & The New Renewal Calendar Henry and Aimee introduce Joy Lab's new format: three months per year (April, August, December) dedicated to renewal. Less doing, same impact. [00:01:00] — Parker Palmer, Nature's Metaphors & Seasons of the Soul Henry shares his training in Parker Palmer's model of inner work and why aligning with the rhythms of nature is one of the most underrated roots of resilience. [00:03:45] — The Activity-Rest Trap of Spring (And Summer) Henry highlights the often-missed counterpoint to spring's energy: the need for alternation between activity and rest.  [00:05:00] — What Renewal Actually Is (Hint: It's Not a Makeover) Renewal isn't about consuming more external content or self-improvement projects. It's about creating space for what wants to grow within you to actually take root. [00:06:00] — The Seed Metaphor: Everything You Need Is Already Inside You The seed already contains everything it needs to grow — it just needs time, water, warmth, and soil.  [00:06:30] — Why "Always-On" Culture Works Against Renewal Overloaded schedules, content consumption, overscheduled kids, overperformance — our culture makes it structurally difficult for new growth to emerge from within. [00:08:00] — Henry's Favorite Haiku: "Spring Comes and the Grass Grows By Itself" Henry's go-to quote gets its moment. The insight: effortless growth isn't passive — it's not getting in the way.  [00:09:00] — The Month's Intention: Allow, Don't Force Instead of effort, what if you just gave a little attention — a little watering, a little light — and let things emerge on their own terms? [00:09:30] — Three Options for Your Month of Renewal  [00:10:00] — Option 1: Go Deeper With Past Practices Return to a Joy Lab Element or Experiment that sparked something in you. Revisit it with fresh eyes. Notice what's different, what's ready to grow.  [00:11:00] — Option 2: Integrate What You Already Know Addition by subtraction. You don't need more — you need room. Take things off your plate: information, others' opinions, the news (which Henry diplomatically calls "awfully compelling right now"). [00:13:00] — Practical Tips for Creating Mental Space Silence phone notifications, set active screen time limits, reduce your kids' overscheduled activities, create "psychic space" to hear what's calling you internally — by choice, not by algorithm. [00:15:00] — Option 3: Rest. Just… Rest. Renewal through rest. Like soil thawing in spring, we need to soak in warmth and nourishment before another season of growth. Permission granted to do absolutely nothing. [00:15:30] — The Digital Detox Prescription Go offline as long as you can each day. Research is increasingly clear: even having your phone nearby impairs cognitive functioning. It doesn't have to be cold turkey — just a little less, a little more each day. [00:16:30] — Mary Oliver's Wisdom: "Are You Breathing Just a Little and Calling It a Life?" What would a full breath look like for you this month? [00:17:00] — What Rest Can Actually Look Like A nap. A bath. Watching birds. Coffee with a friend. A game with your kid. Cooking a new recipe. Journaling. Basketball. A walk.  [00:19:00] — What This Month Looks Like: The Schedule One curated episode from the Joy Lab Library releases every Wednesday this month. Members have access to all Experiments. New content returns May 1st. [00:19:30] — Your Three Paths (Or Create Your Own) Go deeper. Integrate. Rest. All of these are renewal. Trust your wisdom. [00:19:45] — Closing Wisdom from Wayne Muller "In the relentless busyness of modern life, we have lost the rhythm between work and rest."   Sources and Notes: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.    Full transcript available here   Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

This is it — the finale of our 10-part series on grief, and we're closing with a Gate that might be the most quietly powerful one yet: Other. That's right, the catchall. The one that says: if your loss doesn't fit neatly into a framework, it still counts. If you're feeling it, it counts. Losses that fall into this category include: Identity shifts, infertility, retirement, faded friendships, the life you thought you'd have — and anything else. We also reflect on the full arc of the series, sharing four essential takeaways about grief, and perhaps most importantly, making the case that grief and joy aren't opposites. They're companions. And working with one deepens your capacity for both. If you've been putting off your grief because it seemed too small, too strange, or too hard to explain to anyone else — this episode is your permission slip. This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: [00:00:00] — This is the final episode of Joy Lab's 10-part Grief Series, beginning with episode 248. Overview of the framework: Francis Weller's Five Gates of Grief, with additional gates from other practitioners. [00:01:00] — Introducing the Ninth Gate: Other. Examples include: identity transitions, infertility, miscarriage, abortion, aging, retirement, relocating, faded friendships, missed opportunities, a diagnosis. The message of this Gate: your grief is valid, even if it doesn't fit a category. [00:02:00] — Why the "Other" Gate matters: it gives permission to grieve things we didn't think were grievable. Henry reflects on grief he carried about the life he imagined for his later years. Sometimes the losses that linger longest are the ones we felt we weren't allowed to name. [00:03:00] — The Ninth Gate as permission: no framework, however good, can contain all of grief. If it feels like a loss, it is a loss. This Gate honors grief's vastness and individuality. [00:04:00] — Connecting grief to our Element of Joy for this month: Equanimity. Real equanimity isn't about avoiding highs and lows — it includes grief.  [00:05:00] — Real equanimity is the ability to stay present with whatever's happening — joy, fear, sorrow, love — without being swept away. Grief can be a storm, but we can learn to work with it rather than be destroyed by it. [00:06:00] — How grief becomes workable: by practicing with smaller emotions when they're less overwhelming, we build capacity. Touching grief lightly, letting it move through — that's how the storm becomes survivable. The whole series has been about building exactly this capacity. [00:07:00] — Four Key Takeaways from the Grief Series: Takeaway 1: Grief is not a problem to solve or something to get over. It's a natural response to loss — and loss is part of living. Takeaway 2: Grief is communal. Billions of people are working with these gates. You are not alone. Takeaway 3: Grief is a skill we have to practice — consistent, regular grief-hygiene rituals help us work with frequent losses before they accumulate. The small "Other" griefs percolating in the background? Name them. Work with them. That's great training. Takeaway 4: Grief isn't just about death or obvious losses. Curiosity about how loss touches us is itself a powerful mental health skill. When we're willing to see and hold our losses, we can also see and hold the love around us — and within us. [00:09:00] — The gifts of grief, Part 1: Henry reflects on what this series — and his own prolonged experience of grief — has given him. Grief opens us to compassion. When you've been through real loss, you recognize it in others. You understand their struggle at a level you couldn't before. That's profound connection. [00:10:00] — The gifts of grief, Part 2: Grief brings wisdom. You learn what really matters. You stop wasting time on what doesn't. Henry shares something personal: "I am more tender now. More permeable. I feel things more deeply." And because of that, he's more open to joy — because you can't close yourself off to pain without also closing yourself off to beauty, love, and wonder. [00:11:00] — Grief and joy are not opposites — they're companions. The deeper your capacity for grief, the deeper your capacity for joy. Both require an open heart. Henry's closing encouragement: "Don't be afraid of grief. Let it be your teacher. Let it make you more of who you really are." [00:12:00] — Closing wisdom from Kahlil Gibran: "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."   Full transcipt here   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Born to Belong: Grieving What Should Have Been There From the Start [part 5, ep 252] Breaking the Cycle: Ancestral Grief, Epigenetics, and the Power to Change Your Legacy [part 6, ep 253] How Facing the Harm You've Done Can Set You Free [part 7, ep 254] How the World's Pain Enters Your Body and What to Do Next [part 8, ep 255] Related Episodes: Savoring the Present and Overcoming FOBO (it's kinda like FOMO...) [ep 45] Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller The Four Things That Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D.  Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here   Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Maier & Seligman. (2016). Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from neuroscience. Access here Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

Ambie talks about the time she had at Dice Tower West - all the games she played, some other convention events she did, and other things in Vegas. She's also joined by her kids for part of the show. 0:00-Intro 0:32-DTW Recap 16:01-Kids' Las Vegas Trip 22:40-The Rest of Ambie's Las Vegas Trip 28:33-Outro Join our discord Support us directly at https://ko-fi.com/boardgameblitz Or shop at our merch store or our Amazon Storefront This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code "BLITZ2026" to get 10% off your entire cart. Consolidated Links For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/433

Grief doesn't wait for loss to arrive. Sometimes it shows up early — sitting beside you while someone you love is still right there. That's anticipatory grief, and if you've ever felt your mind drift to a future without someone while they're still in the room, you already know it. In this episode of Joy Lab, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek explore the Eighth Gate of Grief: the grief, stress, anxiety, and dread that can accompany an expected loss — whether that's a terminal diagnosis, a parent's cognitive decline, a marriage ending, or even broader fears about the world your kids will inherit. Anticipatory grief can be a mentally and emotionally exhausting experience, and it doesn't get nearly enough airtime in conversations about mental health. Importantly, this episode won't tell you how to stop anticipatory grief — because you shouldn't. Research suggests it can actually support healing. What it will give you: science-backed tools for staying present, a simple framework for saying what matters most before it's too late, and honest guidance on sustaining yourself through anticipatory grief. If anxiety, depression, or stress around future loss is weighing on you — or someone you love — this one's for you. This episode is part of a 10-part series on grief. You can jump in here and circle back to Episode 248 when you're ready.   p.s. Find a Simple Joy practice for this episode right here at our blog.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy. Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with the Joy Lab Program.   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts! And... if you want to spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free, then please join our mission by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Like and follow Joy Lab on Socials:  Instagram TikTok Linkedin Watch on YouTube   Key moments: [00:00] — Introduction to the Eighth Gate: Anticipatory Grief [00:45] — What anticipatory grief is: the grief we feel in advance of an expected loss — terminal illness, dementia, a marriage ending, fears about the future of our planet or our children's world [01:00] — The extra "frosting" of this gate: dread, helplessness, and worry about what hasn't happened yet [01:15] — Anticipatory grief and cancer [02:30] — Anticipatory grief and Alzheimer's [04:00] — "We are apprentices to our grief, every time" — on never mastering grief, only practicing it [05:00] — FOBO: Fear Of Being Over — an earlier Joy Lab concept that connects to anticipatory grief and the pull away from the present moment [05:45] — Normalizing anticipatory grief: the goal is not to stop it, but to understand it [06:15] — The science: research on anticipatory grief shows it can actually be helpful — those who grieved some before a spouse died tended to have better outcomes afterward [07:30] — The void that often hits a month after a loss, when others return to their lives; how anticipatory grieving can build a support network that remains [08:00] — Anticipatory grief and early-onset Alzheimer's [13:45] — What anticipatory grief is really about: acceptance; facing truth instead of pushing it away [14:15] — Recognizing avoidance  [14:45] — Anticipatory grief as a gift: time to say what needs to be said, to be present differently, to love fully even while grieving [15:15] — Practicing loving fully amidst grief; being kind to yourself about grieving while the person is still present; holding both the grief of the future and the goodness of the present — they can happen at the same time [16:45] — The Four Things That Matter Most (Dr. Ira Byock, hospice physician): Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. [17:15] — Why saying these things — even imperfectly — creates completion and reduces regret [19:15] — The gift anticipatory grief offers that sudden loss cannot: the chance to share grief with someone, say the four things, have the conversation together [20:00] — Tending to your own wellbeing during anticipatory grief; checking your energy and nourishment levels; you have to take breaks, let people help, do nourishing things for yourself — it's not selfish, it's sustainable [21:45] — Small ways to refuel: a walk, a phone call, sitting outside, noticing breath; don't wait until you're depleted — build it in now; Letting people support you; they often want to help but don't know how — be specific; "Can you bring dinner Tuesday? Can you sit with her while I go to the store?" [22:30] — Anticipatory grief is a marathon, not a sprint; pace yourself; stepping back to breathe and enjoy lightness is not denial — it's wisdom [23:30] — Closing quote from Rilke: "Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final."   Sources and Notes for this full grief series: Joy Lab Program: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.  Grief Series: The Grief Series: The Wholeness of Being Human [part 1, ep 248] Everything We Love, We Will Lose: Navigating the First Gate of Grief[part 2, ep 249] Welcoming Back the Parts of You That Have Not Known Love [part 3, ep 250] Why You Can't Escape the Sorrows of the World (and why that's a good thing) [part 4, ep 251] Born to Belong: Grieving What Should Have Been There From the Start [part 5, ep 252] Breaking the Cycle: Ancestral Grief, Epigenetics, and the Power to Change Your Legacy [part 6, ep 253] How Facing the Harm You've Done Can Set You Free [part 7, ep 254] How the World's Pain Enters Your Body and What to Do Next [part 8, ep 255] Related Episodes: Savoring the Present and Overcoming FOBO (it's kinda like FOMO...) [ep 45] Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller The Four Things That Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D.  Beckes & Sbarra, Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions. Access here Beckes, et al. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Access here Bunea et al. (2017). Early-life adversity and cortisol response to social stress: a meta-analysis. Access here. Eisma, et al. (2019). No pain, no gain: cross-lagged analyses of posttraumatic growth and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress and prolonged grief symptoms after loss. Access here  Hirschberger G. (2018). Collective Trauma an d the Social Construction of Meaning. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 1441. Access here   Kamis, et al. (2024). Childhood maltreatment associated with adolescent peer networks: Withdrawal, avoidance, and fragmentation. Access here  Lehrner, et al. (2014). Maternal PTSD associates with greater glucocorticoid sensitivity in offspring of Holocaust survivors. Access here  Maier & Seligman. (2016). Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from neuroscience. Access here Sheehy, et al. (2019). An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Access here  Strathearn, et al. (2020). Long-term Cognitive, Psychological, and Health Outcomes Associated With Child Abuse and Neglect. Access here  Yehuda et al. (1998). Vulnerability to posttraumatic stress disorder in adult offspring of Holocaust survivors.  Access here. Yehuda, et al. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. Access here  Full transcript here  Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.