POPULARITY
A paranormal investigation begins..by Krosis. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Ed finally gets Charisma alone. "Doctor Lintrell?"The brown-haired woman looked up from her desk and lowered her cats-eye glasses. "Yes? Do we have an appointment?"The short woman and tall man, both dressed in dark suits and also brown-haired, stepped into the office. The woman pulled out her identification. "You called us, Doctor. Agents Kelly and Smolder, Homeland Security.""Oh, yes, please close the door and have a seat. I wouldn't have called, but since the incident, I've been having nightmares -- flashbacks?"The agents sat. The man, Smolder, leaned forward, looking skeptical. "About a large blue penis?"The doctor flushed. "I thought it was nothing, but a week ago I missed my period, and I haven't had sex with anyone...well, anyone I remember, anyway. I tested myself and...I'm pregnant. The blue penis keeps popping up in my dreams, so I think someone hypnotized me, not that I used to believe in hypnosis, but..." She reached into her desk. "...then I found this." She held out a piece of paper.Kelly read it and then handed the paper to her partner. On it was the date from three weeks previous, some scribblings about a "John Smith", an unspecified problem with his penis, and the last thing written was, "Blue!""I don't remember writing that, agents, but it's definitely my handwriting."Smolder took a picture of the note with his phone and handed it back to the doctor. "John Smith, huh?"She looked nettled. "Obviously a fake name...I expect that he was embarrassed about his penis."Kelly nodded. "And you can't remember anything about this man, other than that?"Doctor Lintrell shook her head. "I'm sorry...my staff didn't even remember him. One thought that he might have had brown hair?"Smolder stood up. "Brown hair? We'll have this solved by lunch! Thanks, Doctor Lintrell." Then he turned on his heel and stomped out of the room."I'm sorry for my partner," Kelly said. "He's a bit of a skeptic."The doctor nodded. "You said you were Homeland Security? I called the local police."Kelly got to her feet. "We believe that this could be far bigger than a local issue." She drew closer and whispered, "Aliens."The doctor looked at her blankly. "You think 'John Smith' is Mexican?"Kelly frowned and sighed. "Something like that. We'll be in touch, Doctor."---Spring Break was over, and Ed was back in school. He was definitely not going to miss his chance at getting Charisma alone this time! When she asked the teacher if she could go to the washroom, Ed did the same a few minutes later.He caught the gorgeous blonde just as she was heading back to class. "Hey, Charisma! Can I talk to you?""You are talking to me," she replied dismissively, not stopping."I mean alone!"She paused and turned to him. "What for?""I...I have to show you something...you'll really love it!""I've heard That before..." Then she looked thoughtful, "though they were right. Okay, come on." She pulled Ed back into the women's washroom. "Well?""Just a sec," Ed said. He turned his back to her and let Perry out through his zipper before whirling back around. "Ta da!" he cried with a flourish."Oh," Charisma responded as she beheld his large blue alien penis.Ed paused. "Oh?"Charisma pulled her skirt up, surprising him. "Yeah, I already got one of those. Blue dick buddies!" She held out her fist.Ed was unable to tear his eyes away from the 4" blue penis hanging between her legs."Oh, c'mon! Don't leave me hangin'!"Ed slowly raised his arm and gave her the saddest fist bump ever."Okay, see ya!" Then she was gone, leaving Ed standing alone in the girls' washroom.*So...I guess we have something to discuss, Ed.* Perry said in his mind. *Sorry, buddy, one of my drones got into her over the holiday.*"Drones?"*Yeah...well, all that sex we've been having? It's been allowing me to 'spread my seed', so to speak. You know how you have one blue ball and one regular one? The blue one's mine, and it's been making drones; copies of me.*Ed's mind was overloading. Everyone he had sex with? "Muh...my Mom too?"*Oh, she's been great, just going to town on the locals, and then with her own sister...so hot!*"Aunt Erin?!"Just then the door opened and a pretty redheaded senior walked in. "Hey! What are you doing inn...here..." Her mind shut down as she saw Perry dancing in front of her, and she pulled her shirt off, revealing nice palm-sized breasts covered by a pink bra.*Time to have some fun, Ed!*"But...no..." Ed felt his body flush with desire for this young woman, Perry leading the way as he advanced on her.She pulled her skirt and pink panties down and then bent over the sink counter, presenting her puffy, rapidly moistening pussy to him."Perry...I don't wanna..." But Ed took a hold of the teenaged beauty's rounded hips and felt Perry slither inside her sultry vagina. "...oh..no..."*Hey, Ed, this one's fertile,* Perry advised him, noticing the telltale mucus as he slipped deeper inside. *You want me to let Pinky get all up in her?*Ed started to thrust. It was feeling really good. His mind seemed to be floating, strangely unconcerned about what was happening. "Pinky?"*That's what I named your remaining testicle. I can make my stuff shoot into her, or yours. Lemme know which when we get closer, huh?*"I...umm..." Ed unfastened the girl's bra, and her B-cups swung forward. His hands engulfed them, squeezing gently and making the mesmerized beauty gasp as he thrust into her."Uh-huhh..." she moaned as Ed started to tweak her wide nipples.He felt her pussy gripping him tightly. It was feeling really good now...*Time to choose, Ed! Pinky or Perry?*Ed continued to thrust. Why couldn't he think straight? he wondered.*Looks like I gave you a little too much happy juice, buddy. How about we give her both, and may the best man win?*"Uh! Ernh!" Ed was slamming into the girl now, and she was crying out with each hard thrust. He felt his load mustering in his loins, and then the pleasure rushed up his long shaft. He thrust hard and fast into the redhead until... "Ugh!" Ecstasy burst from the tip of his cock as he painted her unprotected pussy with a huge load of cum. "Ur!""Uck-ah!" she cried out as her own orgasm exploded from deep inside her pussy, where the combined load of Perry's blue and Ed's white sperm deluged her fertile depths. Perry pressed the tip of his head against her spasming cervix, and several spurts of their combined seed slipped straight through, invading her undiscovered country."Huh...huh..." Ed leaned down upon the girl, all of his energy gone."Umm...can'd breedh..." the girl groaned from under him.He pulled back, Perry slipping out from inside her and making them both gasp. "Oh, sorry," he offered.She looked down at all the sperm oozing out of her gaping pussy. "Oh shit, now I really really have to pee..." She ran into a stall and moaned as she let loose.Ed grabbed her clothes and handed them to her under the stall door."Thanks!""You're...welcome..." Ed shook his head, zipped up, and went back to class. Kelly and Smolder meet Ed.Ed was having trouble getting his head around it all. His new 10" blue penis, which was actually an alien parasite named Perry, was making copies of itself every time Ed had sex with someone! And then those copies had sex with others and made more copies! But whenever Ed tried to talk to Perry about it, he got distracted. He felt like Perry might be manipulating him, but then he got really tired and had to go take a nap.Homeland Security agents Kelly and Smolder were stumped trying to find the man with the blue penis that had allegedly hypnotized and impregnated a local doctor. "John Smith" was an obvious pseudonym, and the possibly brown-haired rapist had been so nondescript that it was futile to just canvass the area. The town wasn't large, but there were still several thousand residents, and there was also no guarantee that the mystery man hadn't visited the clinic from one of the neighboring suburbs."Hmm..." Kelly hummed as she consulted her phone."I know that 'hmm'," Smolder responded jokingly, "you found something.""A meteorite fell to Earth a few miles from here the night before 'John Smith' went to Doctor Lintrell's clinic," she revealed, holding her phone screen toward him.He didn't even look. "Oh God, aliens again? I keep telling you, there's no such thing, Kelly!""So you keep saying," she replied, "but do we have anything better to go on?"Ding dong!Ed woke up from his nap. "Mom?" he called out.Ding dong!Since his mother didn't seem to be home, Ed headed down and opened the front door, revealing a tall man and a short woman, dressed in dark suits."JOHN SMITH!" the man pointed a finger accusingly at Ed.Ed staggered back. That was the fake name that he had given at the clinic! How the hell had they found him?"Oh, enough, Smolder," the woman chastised him. "Are you going to yell that at every brown-haired male we come across?"The man smiled, chagrined. "You never know, right?"Ed tried to control his breathing. "Um...um...who are you? What do you want?"The woman showed him her ID. "Homeland Security agents Kelly and Smolder. May we come in?" Since Ed had already stepped back in shock, they stepped into the entryway without waiting for permission."Um, sure," Ed acquiesced as they closed the door behind them."Who are you, if not John Smith?" the man -- Smolder -- asked him, notebook in hand."Ed Doughtry, sir.""'Sir'...someone raised you right, Ed. Are your parents here?""Dad's delivering around town all day." Ed looked around. "I thought Mom was here, but she must have gone out." That was happening more and more often while his Dad was absent. He tried not to think of his mother fucking women all around town with her new blue penis, infecting them with more blue penises like Perry."We'd like to ask you about the meteorite that landed in your back forty, Mr. Doughtry," Agent Kelly asked."Meteorite? Sorry, I wasn't aware," Ed lied."It came down late at night a few weeks ago. You were probably asleep," she informed him. He nodded. "Can I have a look at the crash site?""Um, sure..."He watched the short woman head out the back door, leaving him alone with the imposingly tall Agent Smolder. Ed wished that she had stayed instead.Smolder gave him a disarming smile. "So, Ed...what's there to do for fun around here?"In the back of the town's only adult store, a fit dirty blonde sat in the blowjob booth as her latest customer blew his load down her throat. Lacey, 23 years old, hadn't been very effective at most of the jobs she'd had since barely graduating high school, but she was a born cocksucker. The man's average-sized cock retreated through the glory hole and she heard a muffled, "Thanks!" She put the two $20 bills that had preceded his cock into her purse.A minute or so later, another couple Jacksons were pushed through the hole, followed by a hard penis, and she paused to examine the schlong. The inside of the booth was dim so that the clientele couldn't identify her if they looked through the hole, but the 8" hard cock seemed...off, somehow. Still, it was a nice-sized member, so she took it into her mouth. A moan, of a higher pitch than expected, sounded from the other side of the wall. She continued to suck, and felt some precum slip into her mouth. She gulped it down.Lacey suddenly felt very hot. She had to get her clothes off and cool down! She quickly pulled off her tight jeans, and then let go of the cock to remove her t-shirt. Finally, shrugging, she doffed her panties and bra, freeing her B-cup breasts. That felt better, and the naked woman took the cock back in hand.Then she realized that her pussy was very wet. She didn't normally do this, but she felt hornier than she remembered being for a very long time. "Ooh, you're in for a treat, mister," she called out to her paramour as she turned, bent over, and backed herself onto that hard prong. The penis seemed to practically slither into her wanton depths, and she gasped in pleasure. She wondered if she had forgotten something important, but couldn't figure out what it was as it sat, unused, in its foil packet in her purse.She moaned as she pushed back, and that sizable member bottomed out inside her tight little body. Then she leaned forward as her lover pulled back, and they smashed their private parts back together on the downswing. That wonderful cock seemed to slide along her g-spot nicely as it went, and she was amazed at how well her lover was pleasuring her, as if that person somehow had intimate knowledge of a woman's inner workings. She was already close to orgasming.Then when they were fully joined again, the head of that wonderful cock rapping insistently at her cervix, she came. "Fuuuckk..." she moaned, shaking, her nipples incredibly hard.Her lover started to thrust faster and harder inside her, extending her orgasm. Her mind was trying to tell her that something important was about to happen. Well, of course it was, she told herself; the orgasm's the best part!"Ungh!"Lacey heard the high-pitched voice on the other side of the wall grunt, and felt that stupendous cock throb deep inside her. Then she felt a hot warmth suddenly permeate her core and came again, hard. "Huhh! Ohh wooow..." She pushed back onto the spurting cock, her co-opted instincts telling her to make sure that precious seed went as deep inside her as it could, and it did. A gush of blue-tinged semen splashed through her spasming cervix, where it began its journey of transformation deep inside the young woman.Eve Doughtry tucked her softening member back under her skirt and left through the glory hole room's door, surprising the shop owner as she went. She gave him a wink and headed home.Agent Kelly returned. "Unfortunately, there wasn't much left of the meteorite.""So, no aliens?" Smolder asked with a sardonic grin.Ed choked. "Uhh...aliens? Are you kidding?"*You rang?* Perry sounded in his head."Where the hell have you been?" Ed subvocalized."What was that?" Smolder asked."Just...wondering when my Mom's going to be home. She's been gone for a while."Kelly stepped forward and handed him a business card. "Please have her call me if she or your father were awake when the meteorite came down, or if they've seen anything...strange...okay, Mr. Doughtry?"*Oh, she's cute, Ed...kind of a hot nerd, don'tcha think?* Perry asked.Ed smiled at her and nodded, "Yep.""All right, we'll show ourselves out. Have a good day." Then they were gone."Perry, that was way too close!" Ed exclaimed.*Relax, Ed...if we can't beat 'em, she'll join us, and it looks like she's the smart one in that partnership. Problem solved.*Ed wondered. The teary ending.Agents Kelly and Smolder split up to interview the neighbors, with short, curvy Kelly trudging up the gravel path of a nearby farmhouse to knock on the front door.An attractive, shorter brunette woman opened it and gave the agent an assessing gaze. "Yes?"Kelly held up her ID. "Homeland Security, Agent Kelly, ma'am. I was wondering if you saw or heard the meteorite that came down a few weeks ago, or have you seen anything strange since?"The woman stood back and opened the door wide. "The meteorite? Why don't you come in and we can discuss it. I'm Darla, by the way.""Thank you." Kelly entered the house. "Oh, what a lovely home you have, Darl--"As the agent passed her, the housewife pushed her forward hard, causing Kelly to sprawl across the arm of the cushy couch with her butt in the air."--ahh!"In a flash, Darla was upon her, pushing up the agent's coat and pulling down her trousers. Darla's now 7" blue erection was ready.*Ha! Got her!* Perry announced in Ed's head."Got who?"*Agent Kelly! She went next door to Darla's, and...*"Aunt Darla too? Oh, Perry!"*Shit! What just happened?*"What?"*I lost contact with Darla...there's just nothing!*Ed had never heard Perry sound worried before. "Um..."*I'm calling in reinforcements.*"Coraaa...whyyy...?" Cora's mother moaned as her daughter ravaged her with her new 6" blue penis. The small retro grunge senior student had found her mother in bed, nursing a migraine, and insisted that she give her a massage to help. Once the older woman was relaxed, though, Cora had pounced. Once Perry's drone cock was inside her mother's pussy, there was no stopping her."I just gotta..." Cora responded, "...gotta...unhh..." She moved faster, slamming that blue cock harder into her Mom. "Gottaa...aaahhh!" she cried out as blue sperm blasted from the head of her cock, filling her mother's unprotected depths."Aahhh! Corrraaaa!!" her mother screamed as her own orgasm exploded from the hot, wet pressure filling her.Cora froze for a moment, pulled out quickly, and raced from the room, not even pausing to pull her baggy jeans back on.Around town, an assortment of women likewise stopped what they were doing and rushed to their vehicles, some carpooling with others, like Cora, who didn't drive. As one, they raced toward the Doughtry farm.A few minutes later, there was a banging on the front door.*Don't answer it, Ed!* Perry yelled in his head."That's not your reinforcements? What do I do?"*Out the back!*Ed rushed for the back door, but Agent Smolder kicked that in, gun drawn and pointed right at him."Ack!" Ed screeched, and automatically put his hands up."Open the front door, Ed," Smolder directed him, his pistol unwavering.He did, and Kelly walked in, holding a silver briefcase. She took Ed's arm. "Ed, I'm going to need you to take me to your bedroom.""Err, what's goin' on, Kelly?" Smolder asked as he put away his gun. "Is Ed here our guy?""That's what I'm going to find out. C'mon..." and she pulled Ed up the stairs to his room, Smolder following. She turned back to her partner. "Smolder, I'm going to need you to barricade the doors and windows. We might have unfriendly visitors soon. And don't shoot anyone!" Then she pulled Ed into his room and closed the door."Okay, I'll just be out here trying to unkick the back door, I guess?" Smolder called up cheekily.She dropped the silver briefcase onto his bed. "Pants off, Ed."*Stupid woman!* Perry exulted, *Now she's ours! Let's show her what we're made of, Ed.*Ed unzipped and Perry sprang out, dancing hypnotically before the short, sexy agent."There you are," Kelly said, her eyes turning entirely coal black.*No! What are they doing here?! Shit! Run, Ed!*Suddenly full of adrenaline, Ed dashed for the door, but Kelly was a step ahead of him, tripping him up and climbing astride him. She held his arms down as Perry battered at her trousers, trying to insert himself inside her.Her eyes were as black as pitch as she stared into his. "Ed, I need you to listen to me. I think you know, deep down, that this thing has been controlling you, but it won't let you realize it. I'm going to help with that, and you need to help me."There was the scrabbling sound of car tires on the driveway outside. "Uh, Kelly? I think we have company!" Smolder called out from downstairs."We don't have much time, Ed," Kelly advised him. "I need you to think about what was most important to you before this thing came into your life. Ack!" Perry had poked her right in her pussy through her trousers, so she grabbed the alien phallus with one hand while shifting a knee to keep Ed's arms immobile.Ed's mind felt odd, like he was waking up from a dream. Most important? Graduating school, meeting a woman, having sex with that woman, lots of sex...his cock throbbed in the agent's firm hand."Concentrate, Ed! Don't let it mess with your head. Think about your family," she urged him.Ed considered his Dad, the man that, despite how much he worked, had always made sure that he had time to talk to his son about whatever concerns the younger man had. His Mom had always been supportive as well, perhaps more indulgent than other mothers, but that was because she loved him. His mind flashed back to that morning weeks ago, when she had climbed into his lap and fucked his new alien cock, and felt ashamed."Ed! That wasn't you...it was the alien! He made you do that!" Kelly advised him.Ed despaired. He had had sex with so many women in the past few weeks, and before Perry, he had been a virgin! The alien had helped him, hadn't he? But he should never have had incestuous relations with his Mom, or his cousin Julie!There was a crash downstairs. They heard swearing, and then the thumping of Smolder's feet up the stairs. "Whatever you're going to do, Kelly, do it now! It's like Night of the Living Dead out here!"Kelly struggled to hold Perry still. "It has to go, Ed! There's too much at stake! You have to reject it. Think of something -- anything -- that you hate about all this!" She furrowed her brow in concentration.Ed's mind was whirling, and then he remembered Charisma, his dream woman. The one thing he had wanted, and he hadn't been able to fuck her because one of Perry's "drones" had gotten to her first. He...was angry...he was...Furious. He gritted his teeth. "Get...off...""Not until you agree...""Perry! Get off of me! Get off of my body, you fucker!"Kelly jumped to her feet. Ed grabbed the alien cock in both hands.*No, Ed! We can do amazing things together! Just let me be your penis!* Perry pleaded.Ed pulled and screamed. Perry shrieked in his head as the alien parasite slowly peeled away from between the young man's legs. The screaming continued as Ed's blood splashed to the floor between his legs, and then he finally ripped Perry free. He tottered for a moment, and then swooned and collapsed.Kelly grabbed Perry before he could slither away. "Gotcha!""Kelly! I'm gonna get killed by blue dickgirls!" Smolder yelled from the other side of the door. From the thumps, it sounded like he was being battered against it.She flipped open the silver briefcase, shoved Perry inside, and quickly closed the lid. There was a "shush" sound as the case sealed.There was immediate silence from the other side of the door. "Smolder?" Kelly called out.The door opened and her partner staggered in, beaten and bruised. "What the fuck just happened? They all collapsed." Then he took in the bloody mess on the floor. "Oh, shit...I'll call an ambulance." He pulled out his phone.---"Ed?""Five more minutes, Mom.""Ed Doughtry."Ed opened his eyes. Agent Kelly was there, pressing a towel to his crotch. "Oww FUCK!" he yelled in agony as he came back to reality."Sorry, Ed," she offered, her eyes still black. "I'm holding back the pain as best I can. I was really impressed with what you did with...Perry.""What...are you?""Think of me as an intergalactic policewoman, keeping the Earth safe from things like that parasite. Normally I'd have to take your memory of this event away, but I really need you to keep an eye out around here, in case we missed anything. Can you keep a secret, Ed?"Gritting his teeth, he nodded.She gave him a smile. "Good man. Perry's victims all passed out when I threw him into my shielded case, and the copies he made have disintegrated, too, without their master's direction. Their ex-hosts won't remember anything that happened after being infected, and I suspect Perry messed their memories of those encounters up enough so they won't recall what he made you do to them. Now I just have to adjust Smolder's memory so that he goes back to not believing in aliens, and..." She looked around. "Where is Smolder...?"Then she gasped. "...and the briefcase?"---"Ten inches! Woo!" Agent Smolder drove hard and fast away from town, his new penis settling in nicely between his legs.*I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Smolder,* Perry said. *Hey, do you smoke?*Epilogue:Over the next few weeks, several dozen women were surprised to miss their next period, with no recollection of how that really happened. Almost eight months later, a glut of births occurred in Ed's sleepy town. Of the ones that Ed and his mother personally had a hand in:Doctor Lintrell had a normal baby boy, though she never found out who "John Smith" was.Darla and her husband, the Doughtrys' next door neighbors, were very happy to finally be blessed with a little girl.Ed's Aunt Erin likewise birthed a little girl. Because Eve's alien testicle had been made from her own ovary, her sperm could only supply X chromosomes, not Y, so she only made girls.Cora, the retro grunge student, had a boy, and the unnamed redhead from the school's ladies' washroom had a girl.All of the babies except Doctor Lintrell's had a strange condition that caused their skin to have a slight blue tinge. Only time would tell what else would be different.The end? By Krosis for Literotica
A paranormal investigation begins..by Krosis. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Ed finally gets Charisma alone. "Doctor Lintrell?"The brown-haired woman looked up from her desk and lowered her cats-eye glasses. "Yes? Do we have an appointment?"The short woman and tall man, both dressed in dark suits and also brown-haired, stepped into the office. The woman pulled out her identification. "You called us, Doctor. Agents Kelly and Smolder, Homeland Security.""Oh, yes, please close the door and have a seat. I wouldn't have called, but since the incident, I've been having nightmares -- flashbacks?"The agents sat. The man, Smolder, leaned forward, looking skeptical. "About a large blue penis?"The doctor flushed. "I thought it was nothing, but a week ago I missed my period, and I haven't had sex with anyone...well, anyone I remember, anyway. I tested myself and...I'm pregnant. The blue penis keeps popping up in my dreams, so I think someone hypnotized me, not that I used to believe in hypnosis, but..." She reached into her desk. "...then I found this." She held out a piece of paper.Kelly read it and then handed the paper to her partner. On it was the date from three weeks previous, some scribblings about a "John Smith", an unspecified problem with his penis, and the last thing written was, "Blue!""I don't remember writing that, agents, but it's definitely my handwriting."Smolder took a picture of the note with his phone and handed it back to the doctor. "John Smith, huh?"She looked nettled. "Obviously a fake name...I expect that he was embarrassed about his penis."Kelly nodded. "And you can't remember anything about this man, other than that?"Doctor Lintrell shook her head. "I'm sorry...my staff didn't even remember him. One thought that he might have had brown hair?"Smolder stood up. "Brown hair? We'll have this solved by lunch! Thanks, Doctor Lintrell." Then he turned on his heel and stomped out of the room."I'm sorry for my partner," Kelly said. "He's a bit of a skeptic."The doctor nodded. "You said you were Homeland Security? I called the local police."Kelly got to her feet. "We believe that this could be far bigger than a local issue." She drew closer and whispered, "Aliens."The doctor looked at her blankly. "You think 'John Smith' is Mexican?"Kelly frowned and sighed. "Something like that. We'll be in touch, Doctor."---Spring Break was over, and Ed was back in school. He was definitely not going to miss his chance at getting Charisma alone this time! When she asked the teacher if she could go to the washroom, Ed did the same a few minutes later.He caught the gorgeous blonde just as she was heading back to class. "Hey, Charisma! Can I talk to you?""You are talking to me," she replied dismissively, not stopping."I mean alone!"She paused and turned to him. "What for?""I...I have to show you something...you'll really love it!""I've heard That before..." Then she looked thoughtful, "though they were right. Okay, come on." She pulled Ed back into the women's washroom. "Well?""Just a sec," Ed said. He turned his back to her and let Perry out through his zipper before whirling back around. "Ta da!" he cried with a flourish."Oh," Charisma responded as she beheld his large blue alien penis.Ed paused. "Oh?"Charisma pulled her skirt up, surprising him. "Yeah, I already got one of those. Blue dick buddies!" She held out her fist.Ed was unable to tear his eyes away from the 4" blue penis hanging between her legs."Oh, c'mon! Don't leave me hangin'!"Ed slowly raised his arm and gave her the saddest fist bump ever."Okay, see ya!" Then she was gone, leaving Ed standing alone in the girls' washroom.*So...I guess we have something to discuss, Ed.* Perry said in his mind. *Sorry, buddy, one of my drones got into her over the holiday.*"Drones?"*Yeah...well, all that sex we've been having? It's been allowing me to 'spread my seed', so to speak. You know how you have one blue ball and one regular one? The blue one's mine, and it's been making drones; copies of me.*Ed's mind was overloading. Everyone he had sex with? "Muh...my Mom too?"*Oh, she's been great, just going to town on the locals, and then with her own sister...so hot!*"Aunt Erin?!"Just then the door opened and a pretty redheaded senior walked in. "Hey! What are you doing inn...here..." Her mind shut down as she saw Perry dancing in front of her, and she pulled her shirt off, revealing nice palm-sized breasts covered by a pink bra.*Time to have some fun, Ed!*"But...no..." Ed felt his body flush with desire for this young woman, Perry leading the way as he advanced on her.She pulled her skirt and pink panties down and then bent over the sink counter, presenting her puffy, rapidly moistening pussy to him."Perry...I don't wanna..." But Ed took a hold of the teenaged beauty's rounded hips and felt Perry slither inside her sultry vagina. "...oh..no..."*Hey, Ed, this one's fertile,* Perry advised him, noticing the telltale mucus as he slipped deeper inside. *You want me to let Pinky get all up in her?*Ed started to thrust. It was feeling really good. His mind seemed to be floating, strangely unconcerned about what was happening. "Pinky?"*That's what I named your remaining testicle. I can make my stuff shoot into her, or yours. Lemme know which when we get closer, huh?*"I...umm..." Ed unfastened the girl's bra, and her B-cups swung forward. His hands engulfed them, squeezing gently and making the mesmerized beauty gasp as he thrust into her."Uh-huhh..." she moaned as Ed started to tweak her wide nipples.He felt her pussy gripping him tightly. It was feeling really good now...*Time to choose, Ed! Pinky or Perry?*Ed continued to thrust. Why couldn't he think straight? he wondered.*Looks like I gave you a little too much happy juice, buddy. How about we give her both, and may the best man win?*"Uh! Ernh!" Ed was slamming into the girl now, and she was crying out with each hard thrust. He felt his load mustering in his loins, and then the pleasure rushed up his long shaft. He thrust hard and fast into the redhead until... "Ugh!" Ecstasy burst from the tip of his cock as he painted her unprotected pussy with a huge load of cum. "Ur!""Uck-ah!" she cried out as her own orgasm exploded from deep inside her pussy, where the combined load of Perry's blue and Ed's white sperm deluged her fertile depths. Perry pressed the tip of his head against her spasming cervix, and several spurts of their combined seed slipped straight through, invading her undiscovered country."Huh...huh..." Ed leaned down upon the girl, all of his energy gone."Umm...can'd breedh..." the girl groaned from under him.He pulled back, Perry slipping out from inside her and making them both gasp. "Oh, sorry," he offered.She looked down at all the sperm oozing out of her gaping pussy. "Oh shit, now I really really have to pee..." She ran into a stall and moaned as she let loose.Ed grabbed her clothes and handed them to her under the stall door."Thanks!""You're...welcome..." Ed shook his head, zipped up, and went back to class. Kelly and Smolder meet Ed.Ed was having trouble getting his head around it all. His new 10" blue penis, which was actually an alien parasite named Perry, was making copies of itself every time Ed had sex with someone! And then those copies had sex with others and made more copies! But whenever Ed tried to talk to Perry about it, he got distracted. He felt like Perry might be manipulating him, but then he got really tired and had to go take a nap.Homeland Security agents Kelly and Smolder were stumped trying to find the man with the blue penis that had allegedly hypnotized and impregnated a local doctor. "John Smith" was an obvious pseudonym, and the possibly brown-haired rapist had been so nondescript that it was futile to just canvass the area. The town wasn't large, but there were still several thousand residents, and there was also no guarantee that the mystery man hadn't visited the clinic from one of the neighboring suburbs."Hmm..." Kelly hummed as she consulted her phone."I know that 'hmm'," Smolder responded jokingly, "you found something.""A meteorite fell to Earth a few miles from here the night before 'John Smith' went to Doctor Lintrell's clinic," she revealed, holding her phone screen toward him.He didn't even look. "Oh God, aliens again? I keep telling you, there's no such thing, Kelly!""So you keep saying," she replied, "but do we have anything better to go on?"Ding dong!Ed woke up from his nap. "Mom?" he called out.Ding dong!Since his mother didn't seem to be home, Ed headed down and opened the front door, revealing a tall man and a short woman, dressed in dark suits."JOHN SMITH!" the man pointed a finger accusingly at Ed.Ed staggered back. That was the fake name that he had given at the clinic! How the hell had they found him?"Oh, enough, Smolder," the woman chastised him. "Are you going to yell that at every brown-haired male we come across?"The man smiled, chagrined. "You never know, right?"Ed tried to control his breathing. "Um...um...who are you? What do you want?"The woman showed him her ID. "Homeland Security agents Kelly and Smolder. May we come in?" Since Ed had already stepped back in shock, they stepped into the entryway without waiting for permission."Um, sure," Ed acquiesced as they closed the door behind them."Who are you, if not John Smith?" the man -- Smolder -- asked him, notebook in hand."Ed Doughtry, sir.""'Sir'...someone raised you right, Ed. Are your parents here?""Dad's delivering around town all day." Ed looked around. "I thought Mom was here, but she must have gone out." That was happening more and more often while his Dad was absent. He tried not to think of his mother fucking women all around town with her new blue penis, infecting them with more blue penises like Perry."We'd like to ask you about the meteorite that landed in your back forty, Mr. Doughtry," Agent Kelly asked."Meteorite? Sorry, I wasn't aware," Ed lied."It came down late at night a few weeks ago. You were probably asleep," she informed him. He nodded. "Can I have a look at the crash site?""Um, sure..."He watched the short woman head out the back door, leaving him alone with the imposingly tall Agent Smolder. Ed wished that she had stayed instead.Smolder gave him a disarming smile. "So, Ed...what's there to do for fun around here?"In the back of the town's only adult store, a fit dirty blonde sat in the blowjob booth as her latest customer blew his load down her throat. Lacey, 23 years old, hadn't been very effective at most of the jobs she'd had since barely graduating high school, but she was a born cocksucker. The man's average-sized cock retreated through the glory hole and she heard a muffled, "Thanks!" She put the two $20 bills that had preceded his cock into her purse.A minute or so later, another couple Jacksons were pushed through the hole, followed by a hard penis, and she paused to examine the schlong. The inside of the booth was dim so that the clientele couldn't identify her if they looked through the hole, but the 8" hard cock seemed...off, somehow. Still, it was a nice-sized member, so she took it into her mouth. A moan, of a higher pitch than expected, sounded from the other side of the wall. She continued to suck, and felt some precum slip into her mouth. She gulped it down.Lacey suddenly felt very hot. She had to get her clothes off and cool down! She quickly pulled off her tight jeans, and then let go of the cock to remove her t-shirt. Finally, shrugging, she doffed her panties and bra, freeing her B-cup breasts. That felt better, and the naked woman took the cock back in hand.Then she realized that her pussy was very wet. She didn't normally do this, but she felt hornier than she remembered being for a very long time. "Ooh, you're in for a treat, mister," she called out to her paramour as she turned, bent over, and backed herself onto that hard prong. The penis seemed to practically slither into her wanton depths, and she gasped in pleasure. She wondered if she had forgotten something important, but couldn't figure out what it was as it sat, unused, in its foil packet in her purse.She moaned as she pushed back, and that sizable member bottomed out inside her tight little body. Then she leaned forward as her lover pulled back, and they smashed their private parts back together on the downswing. That wonderful cock seemed to slide along her g-spot nicely as it went, and she was amazed at how well her lover was pleasuring her, as if that person somehow had intimate knowledge of a woman's inner workings. She was already close to orgasming.Then when they were fully joined again, the head of that wonderful cock rapping insistently at her cervix, she came. "Fuuuckk..." she moaned, shaking, her nipples incredibly hard.Her lover started to thrust faster and harder inside her, extending her orgasm. Her mind was trying to tell her that something important was about to happen. Well, of course it was, she told herself; the orgasm's the best part!"Ungh!"Lacey heard the high-pitched voice on the other side of the wall grunt, and felt that stupendous cock throb deep inside her. Then she felt a hot warmth suddenly permeate her core and came again, hard. "Huhh! Ohh wooow..." She pushed back onto the spurting cock, her co-opted instincts telling her to make sure that precious seed went as deep inside her as it could, and it did. A gush of blue-tinged semen splashed through her spasming cervix, where it began its journey of transformation deep inside the young woman.Eve Doughtry tucked her softening member back under her skirt and left through the glory hole room's door, surprising the shop owner as she went. She gave him a wink and headed home.Agent Kelly returned. "Unfortunately, there wasn't much left of the meteorite.""So, no aliens?" Smolder asked with a sardonic grin.Ed choked. "Uhh...aliens? Are you kidding?"*You rang?* Perry sounded in his head."Where the hell have you been?" Ed subvocalized."What was that?" Smolder asked."Just...wondering when my Mom's going to be home. She's been gone for a while."Kelly stepped forward and handed him a business card. "Please have her call me if she or your father were awake when the meteorite came down, or if they've seen anything...strange...okay, Mr. Doughtry?"*Oh, she's cute, Ed...kind of a hot nerd, don'tcha think?* Perry asked.Ed smiled at her and nodded, "Yep.""All right, we'll show ourselves out. Have a good day." Then they were gone."Perry, that was way too close!" Ed exclaimed.*Relax, Ed...if we can't beat 'em, she'll join us, and it looks like she's the smart one in that partnership. Problem solved.*Ed wondered. The teary ending.Agents Kelly and Smolder split up to interview the neighbors, with short, curvy Kelly trudging up the gravel path of a nearby farmhouse to knock on the front door.An attractive, shorter brunette woman opened it and gave the agent an assessing gaze. "Yes?"Kelly held up her ID. "Homeland Security, Agent Kelly, ma'am. I was wondering if you saw or heard the meteorite that came down a few weeks ago, or have you seen anything strange since?"The woman stood back and opened the door wide. "The meteorite? Why don't you come in and we can discuss it. I'm Darla, by the way.""Thank you." Kelly entered the house. "Oh, what a lovely home you have, Darl--"As the agent passed her, the housewife pushed her forward hard, causing Kelly to sprawl across the arm of the cushy couch with her butt in the air."--ahh!"In a flash, Darla was upon her, pushing up the agent's coat and pulling down her trousers. Darla's now 7" blue erection was ready.*Ha! Got her!* Perry announced in Ed's head."Got who?"*Agent Kelly! She went next door to Darla's, and...*"Aunt Darla too? Oh, Perry!"*Shit! What just happened?*"What?"*I lost contact with Darla...there's just nothing!*Ed had never heard Perry sound worried before. "Um..."*I'm calling in reinforcements.*"Coraaa...whyyy...?" Cora's mother moaned as her daughter ravaged her with her new 6" blue penis. The small retro grunge senior student had found her mother in bed, nursing a migraine, and insisted that she give her a massage to help. Once the older woman was relaxed, though, Cora had pounced. Once Perry's drone cock was inside her mother's pussy, there was no stopping her."I just gotta..." Cora responded, "...gotta...unhh..." She moved faster, slamming that blue cock harder into her Mom. "Gottaa...aaahhh!" she cried out as blue sperm blasted from the head of her cock, filling her mother's unprotected depths."Aahhh! Corrraaaa!!" her mother screamed as her own orgasm exploded from the hot, wet pressure filling her.Cora froze for a moment, pulled out quickly, and raced from the room, not even pausing to pull her baggy jeans back on.Around town, an assortment of women likewise stopped what they were doing and rushed to their vehicles, some carpooling with others, like Cora, who didn't drive. As one, they raced toward the Doughtry farm.A few minutes later, there was a banging on the front door.*Don't answer it, Ed!* Perry yelled in his head."That's not your reinforcements? What do I do?"*Out the back!*Ed rushed for the back door, but Agent Smolder kicked that in, gun drawn and pointed right at him."Ack!" Ed screeched, and automatically put his hands up."Open the front door, Ed," Smolder directed him, his pistol unwavering.He did, and Kelly walked in, holding a silver briefcase. She took Ed's arm. "Ed, I'm going to need you to take me to your bedroom.""Err, what's goin' on, Kelly?" Smolder asked as he put away his gun. "Is Ed here our guy?""That's what I'm going to find out. C'mon..." and she pulled Ed up the stairs to his room, Smolder following. She turned back to her partner. "Smolder, I'm going to need you to barricade the doors and windows. We might have unfriendly visitors soon. And don't shoot anyone!" Then she pulled Ed into his room and closed the door."Okay, I'll just be out here trying to unkick the back door, I guess?" Smolder called up cheekily.She dropped the silver briefcase onto his bed. "Pants off, Ed."*Stupid woman!* Perry exulted, *Now she's ours! Let's show her what we're made of, Ed.*Ed unzipped and Perry sprang out, dancing hypnotically before the short, sexy agent."There you are," Kelly said, her eyes turning entirely coal black.*No! What are they doing here?! Shit! Run, Ed!*Suddenly full of adrenaline, Ed dashed for the door, but Kelly was a step ahead of him, tripping him up and climbing astride him. She held his arms down as Perry battered at her trousers, trying to insert himself inside her.Her eyes were as black as pitch as she stared into his. "Ed, I need you to listen to me. I think you know, deep down, that this thing has been controlling you, but it won't let you realize it. I'm going to help with that, and you need to help me."There was the scrabbling sound of car tires on the driveway outside. "Uh, Kelly? I think we have company!" Smolder called out from downstairs."We don't have much time, Ed," Kelly advised him. "I need you to think about what was most important to you before this thing came into your life. Ack!" Perry had poked her right in her pussy through her trousers, so she grabbed the alien phallus with one hand while shifting a knee to keep Ed's arms immobile.Ed's mind felt odd, like he was waking up from a dream. Most important? Graduating school, meeting a woman, having sex with that woman, lots of sex...his cock throbbed in the agent's firm hand."Concentrate, Ed! Don't let it mess with your head. Think about your family," she urged him.Ed considered his Dad, the man that, despite how much he worked, had always made sure that he had time to talk to his son about whatever concerns the younger man had. His Mom had always been supportive as well, perhaps more indulgent than other mothers, but that was because she loved him. His mind flashed back to that morning weeks ago, when she had climbed into his lap and fucked his new alien cock, and felt ashamed."Ed! That wasn't you...it was the alien! He made you do that!" Kelly advised him.Ed despaired. He had had sex with so many women in the past few weeks, and before Perry, he had been a virgin! The alien had helped him, hadn't he? But he should never have had incestuous relations with his Mom, or his cousin Julie!There was a crash downstairs. They heard swearing, and then the thumping of Smolder's feet up the stairs. "Whatever you're going to do, Kelly, do it now! It's like Night of the Living Dead out here!"Kelly struggled to hold Perry still. "It has to go, Ed! There's too much at stake! You have to reject it. Think of something -- anything -- that you hate about all this!" She furrowed her brow in concentration.Ed's mind was whirling, and then he remembered Charisma, his dream woman. The one thing he had wanted, and he hadn't been able to fuck her because one of Perry's "drones" had gotten to her first. He...was angry...he was...Furious. He gritted his teeth. "Get...off...""Not until you agree...""Perry! Get off of me! Get off of my body, you fucker!"Kelly jumped to her feet. Ed grabbed the alien cock in both hands.*No, Ed! We can do amazing things together! Just let me be your penis!* Perry pleaded.Ed pulled and screamed. Perry shrieked in his head as the alien parasite slowly peeled away from between the young man's legs. The screaming continued as Ed's blood splashed to the floor between his legs, and then he finally ripped Perry free. He tottered for a moment, and then swooned and collapsed.Kelly grabbed Perry before he could slither away. "Gotcha!""Kelly! I'm gonna get killed by blue dickgirls!" Smolder yelled from the other side of the door. From the thumps, it sounded like he was being battered against it.She flipped open the silver briefcase, shoved Perry inside, and quickly closed the lid. There was a "shush" sound as the case sealed.There was immediate silence from the other side of the door. "Smolder?" Kelly called out.The door opened and her partner staggered in, beaten and bruised. "What the fuck just happened? They all collapsed." Then he took in the bloody mess on the floor. "Oh, shit...I'll call an ambulance." He pulled out his phone.---"Ed?""Five more minutes, Mom.""Ed Doughtry."Ed opened his eyes. Agent Kelly was there, pressing a towel to his crotch. "Oww FUCK!" he yelled in agony as he came back to reality."Sorry, Ed," she offered, her eyes still black. "I'm holding back the pain as best I can. I was really impressed with what you did with...Perry.""What...are you?""Think of me as an intergalactic policewoman, keeping the Earth safe from things like that parasite. Normally I'd have to take your memory of this event away, but I really need you to keep an eye out around here, in case we missed anything. Can you keep a secret, Ed?"Gritting his teeth, he nodded.She gave him a smile. "Good man. Perry's victims all passed out when I threw him into my shielded case, and the copies he made have disintegrated, too, without their master's direction. Their ex-hosts won't remember anything that happened after being infected, and I suspect Perry messed their memories of those encounters up enough so they won't recall what he made you do to them. Now I just have to adjust Smolder's memory so that he goes back to not believing in aliens, and..." She looked around. "Where is Smolder...?"Then she gasped. "...and the briefcase?"---"Ten inches! Woo!" Agent Smolder drove hard and fast away from town, his new penis settling in nicely between his legs.*I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Smolder,* Perry said. *Hey, do you smoke?*Epilogue:Over the next few weeks, several dozen women were surprised to miss their next period, with no recollection of how that really happened. Almost eight months later, a glut of births occurred in Ed's sleepy town. Of the ones that Ed and his mother personally had a hand in:Doctor Lintrell had a normal baby boy, though she never found out who "John Smith" was.Darla and her husband, the Doughtrys' next door neighbors, were very happy to finally be blessed with a little girl.Ed's Aunt Erin likewise birthed a little girl. Because Eve's alien testicle had been made from her own ovary, her sperm could only supply X chromosomes, not Y, so she only made girls.Cora, the retro grunge student, had a boy, and the unnamed redhead from the school's ladies' washroom had a girl.All of the babies except Doctor Lintrell's had a strange condition that caused their skin to have a slight blue tinge. Only time would tell what else would be different.The end? By Krosis for Literotica
Hästpodden får ni följa Anna Wallberg, diplomerad C-tränare i dressyr & aktiv tävlingsryttare som till sällskap har Martin Georgou tränare & tävlingsryttare samt Farao Groth radioprofil och hobbyryttare. Tillsammans tar dem upp lyssnarfrågor och djupdyker i ridningens magiska värld. För kontakt och samarbeten info@ap-ridutveckling.seeller DM till @annawallberg på Instagram.
Emilia berättar om hur hon nyligen sov sig igenom en jordbävning och om sin nya häst i USA. Cecilia har varit med ett helt gäng 3-åringar på unghästtest. Dessutom bjuds vi på en dramatisk berättelse från Falsterbo Horse Show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
C-B-A tävlingar en rätt bra grej egentligen !Bin ladens kusiner..Nations hoppningar.Arbete fortsätter efter tävling.Unghästar i kimstad att hålla ögonen på !Och mycket mer !
Unghästträning! Det livsavgörande... Eller? Gaia, Elna och Karolina berättar om sina unghästresor och tankar. Vi snuddar vid allt från inridning till träningsstruktur, lek och belöningsformer. Praktiska idéer och upplägg utlovas!
Dr Trigona Negativ Förstärkning .Unghäst klasser som är otroligt tekniska.Saker du aldrig kommer att höra.När man inte tänker till.ELI5 förklara välfärdsextrimister tankesätt.Och Mycket mer.
Övertygad om att unghäst lopp på V75 skulle öka intressnet by Travtjänsten
Em betyg på alla de svenske prestationer.Analyser om Sveriges medaljchanser.Veckans övning.Doping problem .Unghästars utbildning .Och mycket mer !
I början av augusti avgjordes årets unghäst-VM i dressyr i holländska Ermelo och SWB gjorde sitt bästa unghästmästerskap i dressyr någonsin med både en seger i kvalet, en rad hästar i finalerna och fina placeringar! Gäst i podden är lagets Chef d'Equipe Nina Känsäla som ger oss ger oss sin spaning från tävlingarna med både highlights, hur det går till och vad som faktiskt händer bakom kulisserna. Fullstäninga resultat från UVM i dressyr hittar du HÄR. Trevlig lyssning!
Det är många nya lyssnare så om du är ny eller lyssnar ett tag, Välkommen. Det finns så många bra avsnitt med härligt gäster så jag tänkte att det kunde vara kul att göra ett best of avsnitt med några av mina favoritklipp från podden. Så i detta avsnitt får du lyssna på kloka ord från flera gäster från podden: #98 Svensk Hästrehab svarar på era frågor del 2 #97 Peter Härnstam #116 Två generationer kvinnliga hovslagare #109 Norah Kohle #114 Ponnyexpressen #106 Unghästtester med Camilla Axelsson #110 Veterinär Anne Haglund, Saxtorps Hästklinik
Det är många nya lyssnare så om du är ny eller lyssnar ett tag, Välkommen. Det finns så många bra avsnitt med härligt gäster så jag tänkte att det kunde vara kul att göra ett best of avsnitt med några av mina favoritklipp från podden. Så i detta avsnitt får du lyssna på kloka ord från flera gäster från podden: #98 Svensk Hästrehab svarar på era frågor del 2 #97 Peter Härnstam #116 Två generationer kvinnliga hovslagare #109 Norah Kohle #114 Ponnyexpressen #106 Unghästtester med Camilla Axelsson #110 Veterinär Anne Haglund, Saxtorps Hästklinik
Här är ett klipp från intervjun med Mattias Djuse i avsnitt 151. Vi får höra om varför Mattias startar fler ston än hingstar som tvååringar, om Kayla Westwoods försäljning och om vad som krävs av personalen för att träna unghästar. Observera att programmet spelades in innan Frustration startade i Svensk Uppfödningslöpning. Programledare: Anders Malmrot och Markus Myron
Äntligen hoppning! Unghästutbildaren och svårklassryttaren Helena Torstensson med mångårig erfarenhet från internationell avel, hingstar och hoppsport gästar podden. Hon var på plats vid både unghäst-VM i hoppning och SWB Equestrian Weeks hoppvecka och vi diskuterar och reflekterar bland annat över vilka hingstlinjer som dominerar, hur banorna och upplägget ser ut i Lanaken, vilka förberedeler det krävs för att lyckas på UVM och förstås Breeders-vinnarna och elitfölauktionen för hoppfölen!
Unghäst-VM i dressyr avgjordes nyligen i holländska Ermelo och våra SWB-hästar gjorde bra ifrån sig! Gustaf var på plats och Bettan följde på hemmaplan och i det här avsnittet tar de oss igenom resultatlistorna, SWB-hästarnas prestationer och vilka trender de anar!
Radio Mises återvänder! Magnus sitter ner med ordförande Nikodemus för att först få en uppdatering kring Misesinstitutets arbete. Med ett val alldeles inför dörren eftersöks även ett svar på frågan "kan man rösta som libertarian?" vilket Nikodemus tryggt avhandlar. Vi diskuterar också vad tyckte Murray Rothbard, Misesinstitutets grundare, tyckte om röstande. Rothbard var ju med i uppstarten av det amerikanska politiska partiet Libertarian Party, men varför tog han efter några år istället avstånd? För att delta i Misesakadademin under hösten, kontakta Nikodemus Ung på facebook eller skicka ett mail till Nikodemus.Ungh@mises.se.
A quirk of fate brings both Lem and Fanshaw face to face with people from their pasts. disagreeable reunions bring up disagreeable memories, and show a taste of what makes a man into a gunslinger. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw - J. Hoverson ~~~~~~ Grisham - Bill Hollweg (BrokenSea Audio) Lisette Carmichael - Robyn Keyes Commander Bannington - Glen Hallstrom Scotty - Mike Campbell Other Voices: Episode 1 Bartender - Rick Lewis Episode 2 Townsfolks - Mark Olson, Candace Behuniak, Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 3 Juliet - Alexa Chipman (Imagination Lane) Glen Hallstrom Episode 4 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Piedmont - Russell Gold Mr. Roberts - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Episode 5 Nanny - Jennifer Dixon Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 6 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Mark & Connor Olson Russell Gold Cover Design: Brett Coulstock Announcer: Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme: "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves. The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify. Some say he rides alone. That's the Deadeye Kid. ****************************************************************** Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 1 MUSIC 1_ARRIVAL SOUND HORSES, RIVER, BOAT TRAFFIC LEM Largest town I been near in a good passel of time. I hear tell it started out as a frontier fort, but the frontier moseyed west and left it a-setting behind. FANSHAW Will it be safe? LEM Safe? FANSHAW I had rather assumed you were avoiding larger towns. For ... notoriety's sake. LEM Meaning I don't want be invited to a necktie party? 'at's part of it, though I'm purty sure I ain't never been posted in this territory. FANSHAW Is it worth the risk? LEM [shrug noise] Time to time a man wants a bath and a night in a bed. FANSHAW There are some distinct benefits to being deceased. LEM [laughs] I don't gotta listen to you bellyaching about aches and pains and sleeping on the ground no more. Never mind being all prissy and citified about finding you a comf'table bush now and then-- FANSHAW [rolling eyes] Yes, yes. LEM Sides, I'm outta coffee. And low on shells. FANSHAW [teasing] Heavens. How DO you manage? 2_STROLLING AMB IN TOWN SOUND WALKING ON WOOD LEM Lotta trade hereabouts. Reckon I'll be able to get what all I need. FANSHAW Lem! LEM [voice low] We'll go on over yonder. [beat] Must still be a fort within spitting distance. FANSHAW I did notice that the old fortification appears to have become the mansion for an authority of some kind. LEM Probly best to get my business done and skeddaddle. SOUND SALOON DOOR OPENS, JUST OFF, PEOPLE COME OUT FANSHAW I say. Isn't it a bit early for a drink? LEM [shrug] Three weeks. Don't seem early to me. FANSHAW I'll-- LISETTE [off a bit] Clary? FANSHAW [stunned and horrified] Oh god. LISETTE [off a bit] Clary? I'd know that voice anywhere! LEM Friend o'yourn? FANSHAW [stiff, covering] Old acquaintance. Go on ahead! LEM 3_SALOON SOUND HE WALKS INTO SALOON AMB SALOON LEM One here. SOUND DRINK POURED BARTENDER There you go. SOUND COINS SOUND LEM DRINKS GRISHAM [angry growl] Lemuel Roberts. LEM [SPIT-TAKE] SOUND GLASS SLAMMED DOWN BARTENDER Something wrong, fella? LEM [coughing, trying to clear his throat] Hit like a snakebite. GRISHAM You look at me, you pissant slab of gun leather. BARTENDER [sympathetic] Tarnation. You need it yonked? Barber can‑‑ LEM [finally getting clear] No, no. I kin handle it. SOUND COINS, GLASS DOWN LEM And sorry about the-- BARTENDER [dismissive] Ain't no nevermind. SOUND MORE COINS LEM Give me the bottle. GRISHAM Now I found you, you could float a heap o rotgut and won't never drown me! BARTENDER You drink more careful now, you hear? LEM 4_LISETTE AMB OUTSIDE LISETTE [close, laughing] Oh, good lord, look at you! Mustache and all. Aren't you a little brigadier? FANSHAW [acknowledging] Carmichael. LISETTE Oh, how formal. Just like at school. What have you been up to Clary, dear? FANSHAW "Fanshaw," if you please. LISETTE And we used to be such chums. However did you end up here? FANSHAW I'm quite sorry to see that you are dead, Carmichael. LISETTE [laughing] Oh, I rather doubt that! You're only very sad to see that I'm here, aren't you? FANSHAW Would you prefer that I said I am pleased to find that you died, since that would be the only circumstance that could ever have stopped you from tormenting every living soul around you? LISETTE [not amused any more] At least that would be closer to the truth. FANSHAW Jolly good. Happy you're dead. Must get along. LISETTE Don't run off so quickly, Clary! FANSHAW [long breath of self-control] LISETTE There's been no one interesting to talk to or listen in on for simply ages. FANSHAW How unfortunate. Must rush. LISETTE I noticed you speaking to that fellow. FANSHAW [quiet] Bloody hell. [up] I speak to a lot of people. LISETTE I'm sure. But he replied. Might I speak with him as well? FANSHAW I-- LISETTE Oh, just watch your face! You're trying desperately to come up with a lie! You never could hide anything from me, mustache or no mustache, silly Clary-- FANSHAW Stop calling me that. LISETTE Oh, how I've missed these little moments with my dearest friends - ever since I made the leap. I shall have to spend a great deal of time with you - and with your rugged looking friend. FANSHAW [gritted teeth] Jolly good. 5_SALOON2 AMB SALOON SOUND LEM DRINKS, SLAMS DOWN GLASS GRISHAM I know you kin hear me, you toad-bellied worm. SOUND CHAIR SHIFTS, KICKED OUT FROM TABLE LEM [low] Sit. GRISHAM What makes you think I'd sit with you? You done went and killed me! LEM That's one reason I'm plumb surprised to see you. You went down all the way to Fayetteville - damn far north o' here. GRISHAM I ... drifted. LEM That's just what's got me hornswoggled. Ain't no one drifts. GRISHAM Well I did, and I's planning to get you back for what you done, one way or t'other. LEM [sigh] SOUND DRINK POURS 6_PIGS SOUND PIGS LEM Why'd you drag me out to the slaughterhouse? FANSHAW That woman - ghost woman. LEM An old flame? FANSHAW Nonsense! We knew each other as ... children. She is-- [changing the subject] She is unlikely to follow us here. LEM Spect not. Womenfolks ain't fond of this sort of messy business. FANSHAW [disgusted] Yes... LEM So? You'd best'a brought me here fer a reason. FANSHAW Lisette Carmichael. She [hard to say] is a person who likes to know things. About other people. She likes to -- LEM Hold a grudge? Like a noose over yer head? FANSHAW Aptly put. LEM You cain't have much in the way of dark secrets, though, can you? Leastways not no more. FANSHAW You might be surprised. LEM Who's she a-gonna tell? [realizes] Oh. FANSHAW And while I'm fairly certain you think you could overlook any past indiscretion on my part, I don't doubt there are a few things that might shock even you. Lord knows, she's not even above the occasional fabrication. LEM [after a moment] Did it involve a sheep? FANSHAW What? LEM Whatever it was you done. FANSHAW It isn't - it's not like that at all. LEM [shrug] Sounds like we should jest ride on out. FANSHAW What? LEM Got my coffee, ain't no reason to lollygag. FANSHAW You would leave? Over this? LEM I figger you saved m'life more'n once, and ain't much I can do in return. SOUND WALKING IN MUD LEM Let's get gone before you start a-thanking me. 7_BARN AMB BARN SOUND TACK, HORSES, ETC. LEM You distract her, I'll get the gear. Come and find me when you feel the pull. FANSHAW Righty-ho. SOUND LEAVES GRISHAM Running away, eh? Allus knew you'ure yella. LEM [sigh] You're lucky ain't no one about but us. Otherwise, I wouldn't dignify none of that with an answer. GRISHAM You kilt me! LEM We had it out, fair and square. I never shot no one in-- [breaks off, a bit choked up] I never din't kill any one not a-gunning fer me. Not on purpose. SOUND LAST BIT OF TACKING UP GRISHAM Are you saying I was asking fer it? LEM I seem to recall you a-calling me out in the middle of a fairish game of cards. Yellin blue bloody murder that I should step out and face you. GRISHAM Well, yeah, but I was drunk. LEM I din't do THAT to you neither. You called me out, without no good reason agin me. GRISHAM [losing some of his bluster] I fancied making a name for myself. SOUND LEM GETS INTO THE SADDLE LEM By shooting the Kid? You ain't the first. GRISHAM But you still kilt me. LEM And I won't never forget none of it, but you got what you asked for, and not a jot more. Blame providence if you cain't blame yerself, but don't put this guilt on me. Hee-yaw! SOUND RIDES OFF 8_DISTRACTION FANSHAW Lisette? LISETTE There you are! Just like a naughty boy, running off to filthy places to get away. FANSHAW So sorry. Didn't have much choice. My friend is quite fascinated by... hogs. LISETTE Did you make a clean breast of it? Or just warn him not to believe a thing I say? FANSHAW You don't understand what you're threatening to do - you never did. LISETTE So bothered over trifles! How much people change! FANSHAW Ruining someone's life never meant anything to you! Do you recall poor Selfridge? LISETTE Carmela? Served her right. FANSHAW She threw herself off a bridge! LISETTE She also let herself be compromised! I didn't put her in the family way, and she was the one lying and hiding-- FANSHAW Are you trying to imply that you are somehow in the right? A champion of truth? LISETTE Shall I point out what it is you are doing that flies in the face of nature? FANSHAW History is replete with-- LISETTE Oh, spare me. Next you'll be quoting Shakespeare. FANSHAW Very well. I shan't try and justify myself, but I will point out that whatever I am doing, it cannot be changed. Being dead, there's not much one can do about such trifles. LISETTE Then why should it be such a catastrophe were I to tell? FANSHAW [beat] You've never had a real friend, only people who fawned on you in order that you would not reveal their shortcomings. LISETTE [outraged] I--? You--! FANSHAW Kindly allow me to finish. There is a certain camaraderie among men that simply does not - cannot - occur once a woman is involved. Once you put your nose in, I fear it would never be quite the same. LISETTE No doubt. I'll just go and find your friend now, shall I? FANSHAW [strange gasp, ending on a laugh] No, but I think I shall. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVING NOISE CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 2 1_MOSEYING AMB OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, nighttime SOUND HORSES WALKING LEM I still cain't reckon how he got so far from where he-- I-- where we had it out. FANSHAW How odd. Have you ever encountered other ghosts who could travel? LEM Present comp'ny only. FANSHAW And we know the how and why of that. Perhaps this fellow has a similar... arrangement? LEM How? And who with? Ain't no one would carry that ugly cuss a dog's walk, let alone some hundred miles. FANSHAW Well, every one of we "spirits" seems to be a bit different. LEM Like your lady friend back there? FANSHAW [sigh] From her current appearance and [disapproving] "costume", she had fallen on ‑ahem- hard times indeed. Possibly drifted west - whilst alive - in hopes of making something better for herself. LEM Lot of people can say that, out this way. FANSHAW [a bit snotty] Frankly I'm not surprised at her misfortune. When you alienate all those around you, no one will step in to help if things take a turn for the worse. LEM Cain't say I ain't never been that fella. FANSHAW [chagrined] Oh. MUSIC FOR FLASHBACK NOTE Lem is younger, more cocky, more superior in the falshback - need to really show who he used to be 2_THE OLD KID AMB SALOON LEM Gimme two. SOUND CARDS LEM [pleased noise] I'll see you and raise-- SOUND CROWD HUSHES GRISHAM [snarling declaration] I hear tell the Deadeye Kid's here in town? LEM [ignoring him, smug] Raise ten. DEALER [shaky] Uh, Kid? GRISHAM Which one o' y'all's sposed to be this weasel? LEM Your call. PLAYER1 [shaky] Um... I fold. LEM [chuckles] PATRON1 How can he--? Patron2 Shh! SOUND HEAVY SPURRED BOOTS CROSS FLOOR, PEOPLE SCUTTLE OUT OF WAY GRISHAM [heavy menace] You the deadeye kid? LEM [offhanded] I'm the man playing a nice civil hand of cards. Mebbe you can hold your hosses there, whistle stomper. GRISHAM Either you come out and face me now, or I swear'n I'm gonna shoot you where you sit. SOUND CHAIRS SCOOTING OUT, PEOPLE LEAVING TABLE LEM [long dramatic sigh] Now that sounds a mite like a threat. PLAYER1 [muttered] Uh, yeah. I'm done. Fergot my wife wants me home. GRISHAM Are you coming, or am I shooting? LEM If everyone's takin' leg, I guess I win by forfeit? DEALER Um, I don't think anyone's gonna argue you on that. GRISHAM You turn around now and face me, you yellow bellied dog! SOUND MONEY BEING SHOVED TOGETHER LEM Give the frog a chance to jump, knuckles. Cain't just leave all this layin around. SOUND G's GUN DRAWN AND COCKED GRISHAM Now! LEM [to dealer, cocky] You'll look after this til I get back? DEALER .. certainly. GRISHAM I'll do it! I will! SOUND CHAIR SLOWLY MOVES, LEM'S SPUR-STEPS, STANDS LEM Rightchere in front of all these good folks? And leave the dealer to clean up the mess? [tsks] Let's at least be civilized and take this on outside. 3_EASIER MUSIC BACK TO NOW SOUND HORSES WALKING FANSHAW Seems as if it would be a great deal easier. LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Shooting someone in the back. LEM And killin a chicken's easier than takin down a buffalo, but ain't a thing to swell over. Ain't no pride in the easy way. FANSHAW Backshooting would gain you notoriety just as quickly. LEM It's all about how folks look at you... and how they see you. MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK 4_WARMUP GRISHAM Are you stepping? LEM What flavor of tarantula juice got you fit to wake snakes? Milk? [insulting that he can't hold his liquor] GRISHAM [furious noise] I got a pill to run you on, and I'm gonna chew back every moment of it. LEM [to the crowd] Righchere's a rumbustious fellow for you. SOUND DRINKS DOWN HIS LIQUOR, SLAMS IT DOWN LEM Barkeep? Have me a shot of top mark waitin. SOUND WALKS OUT, SLOWLY GRISHAM You look at me while I'm a talking to you! LEM [walking out] You say somethin' more wheat than chaff, mebbe I will. 5_RATTLING FANSHAW Were you trying to upset his equilibrium? LEM What's that when it's at home? FANSHAW uh - Throw him off - make him upset and more likely to make mistakes. LEM Yup. There's as much head as hand in a proper showdown. Not that this was one o' them. FANSHAW Why not? He called you out. LEM He was halfway round on rotgut. Not a nugget's chance agin me. Even if he had all his [careful] equilibriums about him. FANSHAW But you stepped out with him? Even knowing he had no chance? LEM A'course. He wouldn't take no. Drunk fellers who ain't gettin their way are as likely to shoot just about anyone. I reckoned I was a-helpin, putting him down. FANSHAW [a bit touchy] And you couldn't simply injure him or knock him out - he had to die? LEM Ain't no place for fine feelins when there's a man with a gun a-facin you. And ain't no time to aim all purty and shoot him just so. You hit hard and put him down, cause if you don't, he'll do it to you. That's the part you cain't get away from - one or t'other's likely for boot hill, and you GOTTA face it that way. 6_SHOWDOWN MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK SOUND OUTSIDE NOW GRISHAM You ready? LEM Why trouble yerself to call me out anyhow? I kill someone yer riled over? GRISHAM [duh] Yer the Deadeye Kid! LEM [duh] Yep. [beat] That's your sole entire reason? You wanna walk in my boots? GRISHAM No faster way to make a name, than laying out a name. SOUND THEY MOVE TO EITHER SIDE OF THE SOUNDSCAPE SOUND GUN BEING CHECKED, LEM LEM And o'course it gots to be a callout. [digsut, sarcasm] No one wants to be the next Robert Ford. [man who backshot his friend Jesse James] GRISHAM Come on! Kick it up, Deadeye! Less'n yer yellow! SOUND LEM - DIRT PATTERS - checking the wind] LEM [maddenginly cool] Oh. I'm ripe and ready to drop. SOUND TENSION NOISE, CROWD NOISE, THEN SUDDEN FLURRY OF GUNFIGHT. SOUND G - BODY DROP SOUND LEM - GUN INTO HOLSTER. A MOMENT. FEET WALK BACK UP INTO SALOON 7_ENJOY MUSIC BACK TO NOW FANSHAW [relenting a bit] I suppose it's very like being in battle - not a good place to have consideration for the other fellow. LEM Have to ice over that pond. Hard and cold. Hard and cold. FANSHAW I- I do apologize for sounding disapproving. I want to assure you, it's the process that... well... seems so very pointless. LEM [a litle lighter] Men'll be men. FANSHAW But men can behave in a civilized manner! Look at we Brits. LEM [grunt - half laugh half dismissive] FANSHAW Do you enjoy it? LEM [very mixed feelings] Enjoy? FANSHAW Throughout history there have been men who reveled in killing, in battle. LEM [musing] There's a fire that burns you at that moment, like bugs in the skin. LEM S'like the best whiskey and the moment you almost fall off a cliff, and being with the love of your life, all at the same damn time. FANSHAW The thrill of danger? LEM That, but even more so. If'n you just want danger, you go climbin cliffs or breakin broncs. This is starin into the eyes of death - death right there and then and ain't no "maybe so" about it. Kill or be killed. [beat, then not quite truthful] Enjoy? FANSHAW Sometimes a person's strength is in making the right choice, even when it might pain them to do so. LEM I reckon. 8_WINNER MUSIC FLASH BACK AMB INSIDE SALOON, HUSHED SOUND GUNSHOT, OUTSIDE WOMAN [gasps] SOUND [CROWD NOISE, OUTSIDE], THEN OMINOUS BOOTS ON WOOD, SALOON DOOR OPENS SOUND PIANO PLAYS, CHATTER BEGINS AGAIN LEM [voiceover] there's also this way people have of lookin at you - like yer the best. Used be I din't see the fear beneath it. SOUND BOTTLE POURS, GLASS SET DOWN BARTENDER Your shot, Mister. LEM [drinks big, then bragging] My second shot in two minutes! SOUND Forced laughter from the crowd, warps out a bit. 9_HUNKER MUSIC BACK TO NOW LEM [brisk] It's coming down dusk. Need to find a place to hunker fer the night. FANSHAW I shall keep an eye out for-- [dread] oh! LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Look - the horizon! LEM Signal fires, and a lot of em. FANSHAW They're a little far off to get a better look at. We shall... have to return, shan't we? LEM Someone's gotta warn the town. Whether it's injuns or sumpin else, looks like an ambush on the march. FANSHAW [weakly] Surely the garrison maintains lookouts? LEM Not so much that I saw. They're purt near closed up shop, from the looks back there. FANSHAW [heavy sigh] Right, then. SOUND DISMOUNT, SHIFTING A FEW THINGS FROM HORSE TO HORSE LEM You worried about your lady friend? FANSHAW She's neither a lady nor a friend. But whatever she might have to say will matter to none but me. [change of tone] We are a couple of hours out. LEM Horses ain't fresh, but I weren't pushin. We can get back before them out there can get into spittin distance. SOUND MOUNT OTHER HORSE FANSHAW [resigned but determined] Shall we? MUSIC Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 3 1_WONT SPOOK SOUND READYING FOR BATTLE LEM If'n you got a fresh horse, I kin go scout some fer you. COMMANDER You've done enough already, stranger. Ain't even your fight. LEM I know where they're at, and I got some idea of where they're likely to be by the time I get back there. Give me one horse ain't like to spook, and I'll-- COMMANDER I'll have to send a man along with you. LEM That's fine. Make sure he ain't like to spook neither. 2_LISETTE SOUND [above scene plays out in the background] LISETTE And here I thought you had run away and left me all alone. FANSHAW [sigh] Why don't we step outside to have this conversation? LISETTE I like seeing what the "menfolk" are up to. [frustrated noise] What I wouldn't give to be able to leave this rattletrap town. I'm still not sure how you did that. Or why you came back. FANSHAW We had to warn the garrison. LISETTE Always full of suprises, aren't you - and yet still sanctimonious. Fanshaw, dear old chum. Are you not afraid of what I might say? FANSHAW Any concern you might cause me is negligible when weighed against the potential danger to others. LISETTE [surprised laugh] Hah! All you superior little snobs, with your noses in the air! And deep down, all just as afraid as the rest of us. FANSHAW I've no idea what you're talking about, and I don't care to find out. Whatever you plan to do, just get on with it. We have a job to do. LISETTE Wait! FANSHAW [long sigh] Yes? LISETTE Shall I wish you "good luck"? FANSHAW I doubt I shall need any. But I thank you for the sentiment, Miss Carmichael, however grudgingly bestowed. 3_JULIET FLASHBACK JULIET Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself. FANSHAW I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo. JULIET What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night So stumblest on my counsel? ROMEO By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself-- SOUND POUNDING LISETTE Oh heavens! Not again! MAN [calling from off] Sorry. SOUND POUNDING STOPS LISETTE Try that scene again from the top. Romeo? FANSHAW [sigh] Yes? LISETTE Couldn't you try to be a bit more ... masculine? JULIET Oh, I like "him". So terribly byronic. FANSHAW I'll see what I can do. 4_SCOTTY SOUND PACKING A HORSE SCOTTY Sir? LEM Yeah? SCOTTY Private Scott. Commander Bennington told me to report to you. LEM [sigh] Right. You ever shot that for real? SCOTTY O'course. LEM Against a person? SCOTTY Well, against animals. LEM GRISHAM Not everyone can be you. LEM [sighs] SCOTTY Don't you worry! I ain't afraid! GRISHAM This pullet ain't even got pinfeathers yet. You get him killed, you gonna adda a notch fer him too? LEM You got a horse, Scott? SCOTTY Everyone calls me Scotty. GRISHAM Later, they'll just call him dead. LEM Right. You gotta horse? SCOTTY Over there. GRISHAM [rueful] My damn horse. Serving in the army like the rest of the idjets. LEM Well, go and get'im. SCOTTY Right, sir! GRISHAM Ain't he a little young? You should oughtta throw him back. LEM I'm stuck with him. And I never kept notches. GRISHAM That ain't what I heered. LEM Lot o' tales goin round - ain't a one of 'em naught but sagebrush smoke. GRISHAM And the tale 'bout how you kilt me? LEM [sharp intake] I don't brag on none o' that no more. GRISHAM So, you think I like being plumb forgot? LEM If I thought tellin about it would ease you on to the next thing, you think I wouldn't? SCOTTY Tell me about what? Injuns? [certain] I know all about them. LEM [sigh] 5_SCOUTING AMB CRICKETS SOUND HORSES FANSHAW They're still out of range. I can just barely catch snippets of sound at my farthest reach, but I'm fairly certain it is not Indians. LEM Hmm? FANSHAW I can make out English and Spanish. Are we anywhere near the Mexico territories? LEM [quiet] Ain't impossible. Deserters, mebbe. SCOTTY What ain't impossible? LEM We're gettin close. Best to go on foot. SCOTTY These here horses are my responsibility! LEM Best you stay and watch'em, then. FANSHAW Don't forget the satchel. SOUND CREAK LEM Like I'd forget that. SCOTTY I wouldna gone through your kit or nothin! I ain't no finger monkey. FANSHAW [laughs] I ne'er heard that one before. SOUND REMOVING SPURS LEM Ain't that I don't trust you, son, just might need me some things. If I was you, I'd take them horses up yonder - forge as far into the high rough as you can, but keep where you can see if I come tearin out of there. You reckon? SCOTTY How'll you find us? LEM I'll find you. Just be ready. And don't shoot me. SOUND QUIET FEET ON DIRT 6_JULIET2 FLASHBACK echoey hallway LISETTE [running up] Fanshaw? FANSHAW LISETTE [trying to start a fight] We've been reconsidering your costume. Those leggings are positively scandalous. FANSHAW [bland] Romeo can hardly appear in bloomers. Would be rather difficult to climb to the balcony. LISETTE Perhaps plain trousers, then. [sly] Though I understand you were quite keen on showing off your legs. FANSHAW [rueful] There is a great deal to be said for the freedom of movement. [dismissive] But a costume is a costume. I certainly shan't make a fuss. LISETTE [annoyed at not being able to get a rise out of F] Very well. 7_FANSHAW SCOUTS SOUND SLIGHT RUSTLE OF LEAVES LEM [very quiet] Close enough? FANSHAW I'll have a look round. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [very loud] You hiding from something? LEM [reaction noise, quickly stifled] GRISHAM Ooh! Scairt you, din't I? LEM [whispered] Made me jump damn near out my skin. GRISHAM [smug and evil] Well that's good, then. Looks like I can get my own back on you. LEM What all do you want? GRISHAM Apart from you in a pine box? I'm hankerin to be alive agin, but that ain't gon happen. LEM Not likely, nope. How'd you follow us? GRISHAM What kind of tenderfoot you take me for that I can't follow my own damn horse? LEM [half realizing something] Damn. SOUND FANSHAW COMES BACK FANSHAW Who the devil is this? GRISHAM Who the devil are you? LEM What'd ya find out? FANSHAW A motley crew, but definitely girding themselves for battle. GRISHAM What kinda girlie man are ya? Highfaluting slicker talk! FANSHAW [sigh, but determined] They're half mounted already, but I could make out that they're waiting til after midnight, to make certain of finding as many people abed as possible. GRISHAM Put you in a dress, and I bet everyone'd wanna dance! FANSHAW We need to get moving. GRISHAM I think you need a shave, girlie man. SOUND KNIFE FANSHAW [finally breaking concentration] God damn you all to hell! SOUND PUNCH, KNEE TO GROIN LEM [trying not to laugh] GRISHAM FANSHAW Marquis of Queensbury be damned. We need to go. GRISHAM [different kind of ooooh - like he's falling, or being dragged off] SOUND SUCK NOISE AND GRISHAM VANISHES LEM What'd you do to him? FANSHAW I didn't! I couldn't-- I... haven't the faintest idea? 8_JULIET3 SOUND TAP ON DOOR LISETTE Fanshaw? FANSHAW Come in. LISETTE I've brought you your hat-- whatever are you doing? FANSHAW I was considering what I might do with my hair. To create the right ilusion. LISETTE That is what the HAT is for. FANSHAW I prefer not. It looks like an ottoman on my head. LISETTE And Romeo does not wear a moustache. FANSHAW Whyever not? LISETTE On the stage, moustaches are only for villains and army colonels! FANSHAW [considering] I might just cut my hair. LISETTE That is the final straw! Miss Peabody said this would happen. FANSHAW What? LISETTE That you would take too many liberties. You are out. FANSHAW Out? LISETTE [snidely satisfied] You are no longer a member of this production. 9_DEAD SCOTT SOUND QUIET BOOTSTEPS LEM [very quiet] Scotty? FANSHAW [off a bit] Oh, good god. LEM Do I need to keep quiet? FANSHAW I don't see anyone. .. hostile. SOUND QUICK, NOISIER FOOTSTEPS SCOTTY [as if waking up] Oooh! LEM What is-- [tragic regret] Ohh. SCOTTY They come in out of nowheres! FANSHAW I don't doubt it. SCOTTY And they took the damn horses, Mister Roberts! FANSHAW I think that just might explain-- SCOTTY And who in blue blazes is this feller? LEM [heavy sigh] CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 4 1_DROP EVERYTHING SOUND UNBUCKLING, BAG DOWN, ETC. LEM Good thing I had that with me. Though now I gotta leave it. SOUND SATCHEL DOWN FANSHAW Of course. SCOTTY I'm really sorry about this, sir. LEM I doubt me you coulda stopped it, son. And you been punished enough. SCOTTY What do you mean? They musta knocked me out, but I don't even feel it. FANSHAW I'll deal with him. LEM I'll leave you to it. SCOTTY What are you doing? LEM Gonna haveta hoof it back to town - cain't take naught but my guns. You gon' be all right? SOUND RUSTLE OF BUSHES FANSHAW Well, we won't be able to do much to stop them if they came across your bag, but that looks like a good hiding place. Especially in the dark. SCOTTY Can't do anything? What are you talking about? FANSHAW Hush, Scotty. Let Lem get moving and we'll have a good long talk. SOUND BOOTS RUN OFF 2_REBEL CAMP SOUND MANY HORSES, MEN CHATTER, etc. SOUND GRISHAM STUMBLES IN GRISHAM Where the hell? [Thunder?]! Goddam rustlers! SOUND MEN WALK BY LEADER Two horses, two saddles. I don't like it. SECOND Guerrero had the kid down before we realized. But if there's another scout, he won't be able to get anywhere - at least not soon enough. LEADER [thinks, then definite] We must move up the charge. SECOND We're nearly ready. 3_NO HEAVEN SCOTTY [trying not to cry] So that's IT? I mean this is it? No nothing left? No heaven? FANSHAW There are so many things even I don't understand. I wish I could offer you more in the way of consolation. SCOTTY But don't no one ever pass along? FANSHAW Most do. And I'm even aware of those who spend some time like this, and then pass on, though there's no easy answer for how or why it happens. SCOTTY And I won't never even get to be with a woman. FANSHAW [uncomfortable] Oh, dear. That is a shame. SCOTTY What's it like? FANSHAW [dread] What is ... what... like? SCOTTY Being with a woman? FANSHAW ... 4_RUNNING LEM [heavy but measured breathing] SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS - TROT, NOT DASH LEM [muttered] Dammit. Leastways there's a good moon. 4A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK SOUND NIGHT, DOGS, CHICKENS - ALARUMS SOUND ANGRY MOB, OFF ROBERTS [yelling, off] Leastways, there's a good moon! PIEDMONT [up close, heavy breathing, trying to be quiet] ROBERTS [off, yelling] Spread out! Don't let that traitor get away! Where's that rope? PIEDMONT [gasp, then trying to breathe even quieter] SOUND VERY SLOW CREAK, SHUTTING DOOR ON THE NOISE. YOUNG LEM [about 12] Whatchoo doin', mister? PIEDMONT [terrible gasp, smothers a scream] 6_EXPERIENCE FANSHAW My experience is not ... vast, but I have had one or two ... romantic encounters. SCOTTY Well, you're a man of the world, ain't you? You been all over the place! FANSHAW Oh dear. [up] I've spent most of my life deep in study. I suppose I've always felt there would be time - later - to settle down to a family and all. SCOTTY Me too. Not the studying, but the ... "later". FANSHAW [after a moment] Women are.... soft. SCOTTY [eager] Yeah? FANSHAW And round. In places where men aren't. SCOTTY But they do got legs, don't they? FANSHAW [flabbergasted] What? SCOTTY You never don't see none of them out of skirts! Who knows what they got under there? FANSHAW Well, that I can answer - generally, women are made the same as men. Arms, legs, heads - well, one head. You understand. SCOTTY [avid] And bosoms. FANSHAW Yes, that. 7_VARMINT SOUND RUNNING, LEM'S HEAVY BREATHING UNDER THIS? PIEDMONT Shh! Don't let anyone know I am here. YOUNG LEM You the varmint they's looking fer? PIEDMONT There is no call to use such language, boy. Do you know this area? YOUNG LEM I should hope I do! My pa's Mr. Jorgenson's top man. PIEDMONT [sarcastic] So he's the one leading the search. YOUNG LEM [pride] Yup. SOUND OUTSIDE, THE ROW GETS CLOSER ROBERTS [outside] Get him, Honeysuckle, there's a good bitch! YOUNG LEM [pride and fear] That's my pa! PIEDMONT But you're not going to tell him I am in here? YOUNG LEM I don't fancy getting whupped. I ain't sposed to be in the barn at night. 8_YOUNG LOVE FANSHAW I was in love. When I was very young. SCOTTY Was she really purtty? FANSHAW [sigh] I thought the sun rose and set with my beloved's face. Have you ever seen hair so fine and blonde that your fingers desperately wanted to touch it? SCOTTY You talk so flowery, I bet all the girls jest love you! FANSHAW Our parents objected. They said we were too young, and I was packed off to school. SCOTTY What didja do? FANSHAW I waited. I nursed my deep love, and remained constant, like patience on a rock. SCOTTY You waited on a rock? FANSHAW I waited at school. I was determined that one day, when we were old enough that no one could object, I would return and we would be joined forever. SCOTTY What happened? FANSHAW I made my way to the object of my affection and...discovered... SCOTTY Yes? FANSHAW That I was the only one who had bothered to wait. SCOTTY She'd gone and -- FANSHAW My "dearest love" had married another. Had, and I quote "almost forgotten about that summer." SCOTTY Damn! Women are right terrible. FANSHAW Don't fault women, boy. There are quite as many constant and sweet-natured females as there are fickle and wicked men. We all deserve a "heaping helping" of the blame. 8_DISCOVERED SOUND UNDER - LEM WALKING NOW, STILL BREATHING HARD, PACING HIMSELF YOUNG LEM They're fixing to hang you? PIEDMONT YOUNG LEM Why? What for? PIEDMONT We were on opposite sides in a fight. YOUNG LEM You mean the war? My pa says why keep slaves when you can hire men for even cheaper and don't have to sell them if'n they don't do the job right. PIEDMONT [incensed] You think your pa knows so much about everything, don't you? YOUNG LEM [a bit afraid] Well, he knows where you are. SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN ROBERTS There he is! MAN Get him! PIEDMONT [scream] SOUND SCUFFLE, KNIFE DRAWN YOUNG LEM [gasp, cut off by hand] PIEDMONT I'll kill your boy, just see if I won't! 10_STUCK SCOTTY You said you know about some folks what was like this for a time and then moved along? FANSHAW We've encountered one or two. SCOTTY How'd it work? FANSHAW Work? SCOTTY I mean, I don't wanna be stuck out here, middle o' nowhere, all by my lonesome, forever! FANSHAW I don't know that I have an answer for you. I've only been - like this - for a... a couple of years, myself, and haven't seen a fraction of what Lem has. SCOTTY Years? You been dead for years and ain't moved on? FANSHAW .. help people. And I get to see the world - [half pleased, half rueful] hmph... in perfect safety. 11_SHOT SOUND LEM RUNNING AGAIN PIEDMONT [panicky, but trying to be placating] I am going to have to ask you to take a step back, sir! My hand could slip a fraction of an inch, and that's all it would take. YOUNG LEM [gasp] Pa? SOUND GUNSHOT SOUND TWO BODY DROPS ROBERTS [cold] You understand we cain't leave that kind of critter running loose, don't you? 12_BUSINESS FANSHAW Some folks stay because they have unfinished business, and once the business is completed, they are able pass on. SCOTTY Business? I ain't never been in business. FANSHAW No, no. For instance, one young man was able to move along once his murderer was uncovered and hung. SCOTTY I spose that could happen. FANSHAW Or perhaps when the horses have been recovered, since that was your task at the time of your death. SCOTTY [very down] Oh, right. FANSHAW [cheering] Or, when the town has been warned. That could very well have been at the forefront of your thoughts. SCOTTY [wailing] Oh no! FANSHAW Whatever is the matter? SCOTTY What if it's ladies? FANSHAW [careful] What if what is "ladies"? SCOTTY What if I can't never pass on til I been with a lady? FANSHAW [cold, practical] That would be most extremely awkward. Worry about that once we find out if you can get back to town or not. 13_WHUPPING YOUNG LEM [sniffles a bit] ROBERTS You crying, boy? YOUNG LEM [stifling it] No sir. ROBERTS Now run and let Mrs. Roberts have a look at that scratch. SOUND A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN TURN YOUNG LEM [blank] You shot him dead. ROBERTS YOUNG LEM In the dark, and on the draw, and din't even hit me. ROBERTS [beat] You asking something? YOUNG LEM What if he'd'a kilt me? Or what if you did? ROBERTS [long pause] Life's hard, boy. You cain't let folks get away with wrongdoing, no matter who they got a grip on. YOUNG LEM SOUND BARN DOOR SWINGS OPEN, COUPLE OF STEPS ROBERTS Lem? YOUNG LEM [almost a gasp] Yessir? ROBERTS [casual] Don't think I'm not gon' whale you for being in the barn by night, neither. [neeether] YOUNG LEM [quiet, resentful] Yes, sir. 14_CRICKET SCOTTY It ain't fair! I'm being punished and I ain't never even done nothing! FANSHAW Life is not fair. Death even less so. SCOTTY I-- FANSHAW [cutting him off] Still, I expect there must be some sort of answer. SCOTTY Answer? FANSHAW Very likely, when they take your body back to town, you will accompany it, and there will find what you need to do to pass on. SCOTTY What if they don't take it - me back? FANSHAW Lem will see that they do. SCOTTY And what about you, Mister Fanshaw? FANSHAW What about me? SCOTTY Don't you get to pass on too? FANSHAW But you see Scotty, I have no wish to. SCOTTY No? Why? FANSHAW I still have many things to see. And I feel like I'm doing good here. There's a story I read some time back, a sort of fable, about a puppet that comes to life. SCOTTY That's crazy talk. FANSHAW That's why it's a story. In the tale, a cricket is asked to stay with him and make sure he does the right things. SCOTTY All right. Wait, a cricket, like a bug? FANSHAW A talking bug, but yes, a bug. SCOTTY That's just plumb crazy. FANSHAW [gasp] Look at the horizon! I think they are on the move! SCOTTY Is there something we can do? FANSHAW This is one of those times I truly wish there was. CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 5 1_COMING SOUND IN TOWN - HORSES, MEN, READYING FOR BATTLE COMMANDER [commands] We need more shot at the western boundary! Get someone over there! SOLDIER Yessir! SOUND FEET RUN OFF SHARPLY SOUND DISTANT APPROACH OF PAINED, SLOW RUNNING SOLDIER2 Sir! Someone's coming! On foot! COMMANDER On foot? SENTRY [off] Halt! LEM [breathless, with long gasps] I can't... If I stop... I'm gon fall down... And I gotta get to... The commander. SENTRY Stop, I say! COMMANDER Let him on through. LEM They're a-movin. Deserters 'n comancheros. Have guns. COMMANDER Why are you-- LEM Kilt Scotty. Took the horses. Look sharp. Ungh! SOUND FALLS DOWN COMMANDER Are you all right? [up] Someone get Doc! LEM I'll be [coughing fit] fine. Jest let me lie till the shakin goes off. 2_SPOOK HORSES SCOTTY We got to do something! FANSHAW And just what do you have in mind? I've already done all I can, scouting them for Lem. By the time they come close enough for us to get a look at, they will be moving fast enough that we shall hardly have time to observe. SCOTTY Can't we spook the horses or nothing? That's what haints do, isn't it? FANSHAW I was with you the entire trip out from town. Did the horses seem spooked to you? SCOTTY [really down] No. FANSHAW If Lem makes it back in time, there are ways we can help him. Otherwise, we are merely spectators at this show. 3_TONIC DOC Can you get yourself around this? LEM [still hoarse, puffing] Tonic? DOC [shrug] Mostly brandy. LEM [rusty chuckle] Thanks, doc. [drinks] LISETTE Oh, goodness. I believe you are Fanshaw's dear friend. LEM [coughs] DOC Din't say it was GOOD brandy. LEM [hawks, spits, clear throat] Hits the spot. LISETTE [calculating] And not able to walk away. [cruel chuckle] How perfectly jolly. DOC The commander's gone off to rally the men, but they're like to need you to guide them. You up fer it? LEM Will be... shortly. Any chance of a mite to eat? It's been a powerful long night, and not looking to roll up any time soon. 4_DO SOMETHING SCOTTY He's the only one what can hear us? FANSHAW We've come across... others. But they are very rare. SCOTTY [yelling] I want to DO something! I want to help! FANSHAW There is no need to make such a ... a ruckus! I am in precisely the same predicament! SCOTTY But I-- GRISHAM [off] Will you two shut up? They're trying to sneak up on your position! FANSHAW Oh dear. Come along. SCOTTY Where? FANSHAW To do the only productive thing - gather as much information as possible. 5_SADDLED SOUND MEN READY TO GO SOUND MOUNT UP LEM [sigh of relief, but also soreness] COMMANDER You doing all right, there, feller? LEM Better saddle than boots. I fair run the soles offa these. COMMANDER Morning comes, we'll stand you a new set. Least we can do. Let's go. SOUND HORSES MOVE OUT LEM Commander? COMMANDER Hmm? LEM Rather than meet them headlong, since ain't no way to know how far they come, might could I suggest a defensive position? COMMANDER This town is not a good place for that. Too spread out. And there's no way to get everyone into the fort, not without leaving near everything they own ripe for the picking. LEM Nah - I'm a-thinkin just this side of the bridge, right about halfway out. Bridge and creek - they ain't much, but if we can catch them this side of it, put their backs to water, and use the treeline for cover-- COMMANDER I like the way you think, hombre. [up] Company! [attention!] 6_FIGHT GRISHAM Ain't no way you're taking me by surprise again, you-- ow! SOUND PUNCH FANSHAW [casual] shut up. SCOTTY That was a good'un! But what if he lands one on you - he's awful big! FANSHAW Leave him! [quiet, moving away] We can't actually be hurt. But not everyone realizes that, and many feel the pain, even when there is no reason to. I learned that the hard way. GRISHAM [off] I'm a-gonna get you! FANSHAW Blast! He may not be able to harm me, but he can annoy and distract, and make it difficult to get anything constructive done. SCOTTY Maybe - maybe I could keep him from bothering you? FANSHAW How? SCOTTY Well, I been plumb angry since I got kilt, and my momma says sometimes the best way to get over anger, if you don't got no pie, is to-- GRISHAM Kill you, you girly man! SCOTTY [grunt as he punches him] GRISHAM oof! SCOTTY Better'n pie! You go on, Mr. Fanshaw, and do what you gotta. FANSHAW Good lad. 7_GRANDKIDS LEM [muttered] Fanshaw? Too far out. COMMANDER What's the terrain like beyond the bridge? LEM Nothing much to speak of. Some hills. A ridge off to the north where first we saw them. No place fer them to make a stand tween here and there, though. COMMANDER Cain't let this sort of thing go. LEM Course not. COMMANDER You got the extra shot you needed, did you? LEM Had to leave all o' mine cached back with Scotty. COMMANDER You're sure he's ... dead? LEM I'm afraid I do know dead when I see it. COMMANDER [sad] That's too bad. LEM Kin? COMMANDER LEM [trying to ease] He went down fightin. COMMANDER That don't give my sister grandbabies. LEM [symp] Nope, it shore don't. 8_PIRATES SOUND MUCH CREEPING FANSHAW Looks like about three score. Hardly a fair fight, sneaking up on a defenseless town at night. Like pirates. 8A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK AMB BRIGHT SUNNY DAY NANNY Come along in now, bunny bug. YOUNG CLARA Stop calling me that, nanny! I'm very nearly 10 years old. NANNY You'll always be my little bunny bug. Oh! Whatever is that tea towel doing on your head? [gasp of fear] Did you hurt yourself? Show nanny! YOUNG CLARA No! I am a pirate. NANNY Do not be so silly. There are no pirates. YOUNG CLARA Of course there are. They are in books, so they must be real. NANNY Besides, you cannot be a pirate. YOUNG CLARA Well not just NOW. When I am bigger, I shall be able to do whatever I want. 9_WASPS COMMANDER Did you see how big a force they had? LEM Not to count them, but it was bigger'n I thought. At least 30, probably more. COMMANDER [skeptical] Really? LEM They had a dozen cookin fires goin, and you don't make a fire to feed a lone fellow. COMMANDER [considers, then agrees] No, you don't. LEM 'Sides, better to expect a whole hive of wasps than be surprised by one too many. COMMANDER [chuckles] Sound thinking. [up] Lieutenant! 10_BAG SOUND STILL MUCH MOVEMENT SOUND SCOTTY AND GRISHAM, FIGHTING SCOTTY [pleased] You tired yet, feller? I ain't even blowed! GRISHAM [tired] You little whippersnapper! Think you can pull a man's whiskers and walk away! FANSHAW [muttered] There are some distinct benefits to being dead. More than he will ever know. [gasp] No. RUFFIAN1 Hey! I found something! SOUND CREAK OF LEATHER - LEM'S GEAR FANSHAW [worried] Damn! Lem's bag! RUFFIAN2 What? SECOND Silence! RUFFIAN2 [whispered] bring it - we'll split it later! RUFFIAN1 Split it? Nonsense! It's mine, whatever it is! SECOND [whispered] Keep moving! 11_SCOUT AHEAD COMMANDER [ordering, but hushed] Take your men and circle round up thataway. Get to high ground and cut off retreat. BOB Yessir! LEM If you don't mind, sir, I'us thinkin I might scout on up ahead a mite. COMMANDER You aren't even being paid to be part of this, fellow, why do you keep risking yourself? LEM [shrug] Someone's gotta. 'sides I had to leave my kit behind, and wanna get it if I can before someone else lays hands on it. COMMANDER Valuables? LEM Nothin worth money, but some things cain't be replaced. COMMANDER [teasing a bit] Go on then, but if you see them coming, you'll come back and tell us first, eh? LEM [chuckle] I reckon. 12_LEAD ROPE SCOTTY Mister Fanshaw! That fellow just vanished! Like he flew away, whilst I was a-hittin on him! FANSHAW I fear I shall be gone shortly as well. SCOTTY Why? FANSHAW I am not sure of his reasons, but I must stay with the bag. Now that it has been found... SCOTTY Why? Keeping an eye on it? FANSHAW There's something in there - Oh! It's moving. Stay with me as long as you can. SCOTTY Why can't I--? FANSHAW Shh! [very hurried] Picture a rope tied to something, say, to you - your body, over there. And you are on the other end. SCOTTY Like a training rope? [ASK PAT] FANSHAW Basically, yes. You can go anywhere, within the circle made by that rope. SCOTTY [figuring it out] So you're ... tied to that bag? FANSHAW Yes! [gasp] Bloody thieves! SOUND FANSHAW SUCKED AWAY 13_BE A BOY YOUNG CLARA I am going to be a pirate! I shall sail the seven seas and steal all the gold! NANNY Stealing is very wicked. YOUNG CLARA But you can't be a pirate without stealing! Then you're just a sailor! NANNY And young ladies do not become pirates. Young ladies become mommies. YOUNG CLARA Or nannies. NANNY [reassuring] Don't fret yourself, bunny bug. You shall be a mummy. YOUNG CLARA I should rather be a nanny. Mummies are boring. Nannies have things to do. NANNY [sigh] Mummies have things to do too. YOUNG CLARA I don't want to be a mummy, I want to be a pirate! I want to see the world! NANNY [stern] There are many thing in this world, Clara Fanshaw, that are only meant for boys. YOUNG CLARA Then I want to be a boy! END Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 6 1_READY SOUND NIGHT, MEN BEING QUIET, HORSES OFF COMMANDER Yer sure you wanna go on out there, all on your own?? LEM I'm best on my own, and I don't want another of yer boys on my conscience. COMMANDER [acknowledging] Scotty. LEM If I can't see my way to get back and warn you quick enough, I'll shoot off twice-- COMMANDER [warning] They'll know you're there. LEM I kin look after myself. Two shots means it's a-comin, and I spect after that there'ull be plenty more shots to keep y'all busy. I best get a move on. COMMANDER One thing. LEM Yeah? COMMANDER One of my men swore he'd seen you before. LEM [down] Oh. COMMANDER And that you're the Deadeye kid. LEM I- COMMANDER [overriding, but clearly lying] I told him not to be so credulous. Deadeye Kid looks nothing like that man that's about to save our town. LEM [realizing] Ri-ight. COMMANDER [serious] Don't make me a liar. LEM I kin only do my best. SOUND WALKS AWAY 2_BLACKGUARDS SOUND COMMOTION, MANY MEN, HORSES, TRAVELING LEADER [loud whisper] We'll leave the horses near the stream and sneak up. FANSHAW RUFFIAN2 [whisper] What's in that bag you found anyways? RUFFIAN1 [whisper] Ain't had no time, but it's shore heavy. RUFFIAN2 [whisper] Heavy is good! Mebbe it's gold! RUFFIAN1 Well, I still ain't sharing! FANSHAW Such stimulating conversation. I wonder how far ahead of these ruffians I can manage to stay. 3_TALLYHO SOUND STEALTHY MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH, STOPS LEM [angry hmph] They cain't be too damn far off. And ridin. FANSHAW [distant] Tally-ho! LEM [starts to laugh but turns it into a snort] FANSHAW Halloooooo! Halloo- [suddenly cut off] LEM What the devil? [shrugs, to himself] Well, you can take care of your own damn self. SOUND RUNNING FEET TAKE OFF 4_STRUGGLE AMB IN THE ATTACK FORCE GRISHAM Now I gotcha sorted out! FANSHAW [muffled noises] SOUND STRUGGLING GRISHAM Oh, no you don't! SOUND MORE STRUGGLE GRISHAM I finally figgered out cain't do nothing to hurt me. Long as I ignore it. But I can still keep a tight grip on you. FANSHAW [noise of effort] GRISHAM [ouch!] Hey! You bit me! FANSHAW Keep ahead of them!!!! GRISHAM [disgusted noise] FANSHAW [to grisham] Damn you all to--[muffled again] GRISHAM Stop with all the wiggling, you stupid-- [stunned!] whatthehell? FANSHAW [noise of effort] SOUND STRUGGLE, BREAKS FREE GRISHAM You're a-- ? FANSHAW You may be stronger than me, but I am faster. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM what the hell? A female? 5_SIGNAL COMMANDER He's been gone a fair piece. SOUND [DISTANT] TWO GUN SHOTS COMMANDER [commanding, but quiet] They're coming! SOUND [command passes along ranks - GET VOICES] COMMANDER [a bit superior] I knew that that fellow was no sort of outlaw. 6_PLAN DOS LEADER Shots? SECOND Sir? LEADER Someone has seen. Get El puerco and his fellows. Tell them plan dos. SECOND Plan dos, sir? LEADER They'll circle south and get behind the town. We get some children in hand, no one will fight any more. SECOND Yessir! SOUND RUNS OFF SCOTTY [torn] I can't just let them-- [plaintive] but what can I do? 7_BUCKETFULL SOUND HORSES APPROACHING NOTE - Lem is lying in wait, letting the group go past, and plans to pick them off from behind. FANSHAW [distant but closer, yelling] Lem! That dead friend of yours is about - watch out! LEM [muttered] Damn. And I don' want to go shootin no good horse jest to lay a varmint like that down. SOUND HORSES BEGIN TO PASS LEM [very quietly] 30...? Nearer fifty. That's a bucketful of wasps. SOUND SHOTS! (where the horses went to) LEM [muttered to self] hold on. SOUND NO MORE HORSES COMING LEM [muttered] almost... GRISHAM There you are! LEM [sharp intake of breath] That don't work on me twice. Specially when I been warned. GRISHAM Oh, that girly friend of your'n? Funny thing about that-- SOUND GRISHAM IS YANKED AWAY LEM Good riddance. And jest in time. SOUND BEGINS SHOOTING MaN [shot, fall] 8_HOLD THE LINES COMMANDER [roaring now] Hold the lines! More shot, boy! BOY Yessir! MAN [hit, argh!] COMMANDER Stay low! FANSHAW All seems rather well here. GRISHAM There you are. FANSHAW Bloody hell. GRISHAM [nasty chuckle] I was just wondring - if I kin grab you, I bet I kin kiss you, little lady! FANSHAW [dodging] I doubt you'll catch me again, now that I'm watching for you, but I will admit that one advantage to being a ghost is that I needn't make an effort to remain upwind of you. SOUND FANSHAW OUT 9_RELOAD SOUND COMMOTION OFF, NOT RIGHT HERE SOUND RELOADING SOUND NEARBY HORSE PFFS LEM That's nine. SOUND SLAPS GUN SHUT SCOTTY [distant, yelling] Someone! They're circling round! There's some fellers as are going south to get behind lines! LEM [listens for a second] Fanshaw? Damn. SCOTTY [yelling] Please! Don't let them hurt nobody in town. LEM [muttered] boy'll yell himself hoarse. [chuckles] dead don't get hoarse. But I gotta get one. [clucks to horse] SOUND HORSE BLOWS LEM [grunts as he swings into the saddle] Come on. FANSHAW [a bit distant] Lem? LEM Wazzat? There you are! FANSHAW Close as I can get just now, and can't stay. That blighter keeps trying to grab me. LEM Grisham? FANSHAW The commander seems to be holding well. The villains have taken heavy losses and are starting to fall apart. LEM Can you yell to Scotty, let him know I got his message? FANSHAW What message? LEM Just try and tell the boy. So he can rest hisself. [to the horse] Geeyah! SOUND HORSE TAKES OFF FANSHAW Scotty? Can you hear me? 10_YOU STAY COMMANDER Let's clean this up - leave none of them to try and harm the town. CORPORAL Yessir! Should we capture them, or-- COMMANDER This is no time to be peaceable. They set themselves up to attack a settlement, and we have to take serious measures. SOUND HORSE APPROACHING LEM [distant] Commander! COMMANDER Let him through. [up, to Lem] Looks like we've got nearly all of them. SOUND GUNSHOTS DISTANT COMMANDER A bit of tidying up to do, but-- SOUND HORSE PULLS UP and STOPS LEM [to horse] Whoah! I overheard a couple at the back, saying they had a force circlin south - dozen men mebbe - to get round any resistance and come up behind. COMMANDER My god! LEM Horse up a few good men, load em up and come with me. COMMANDER You, boy! BOY Yessir? COMMANDER Bring my horse, quickly! LEM You're needed here, surely? COMMANDER You're the one who needs a rest, mister Roberts. My corporal, here, will be happy to hear any other suggestions you might have, but I will be leading my men. LEM Sound thinkin. I have been going a bit. COMMANDER Corporal? CORPORAL [acknowledging] Yes sir. FANSHAW Lem? I think I got through to Scotty, but there's such a distance. Poor lad, he merely wants to do his duty. SOUND LEM DISMOUNTS LEM Let's you and I see if we cain't root out a few more of these varmints. I see purty well in the dark. CORPORAL Excellent! FANSHAW I'll see what I can turn up. GRISHAM Found you! FANSHAW Oh, damn! GRISHAM You ain't never getting away from me, you-- FANSHAW [hits out] GRISHAM [ungh!] FANSHAW Have to get him out of here, Lem. Too distracting. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [laughs triumphantly] Coward! But I don't suppose I should be surprised. LEM [quietly, but deadly serious] You don't stop making a fuss, I'm gon' kill your horse. GRISHAM What? LEM You sit still and be quiet or that horse yer so attached to is gonna find itself on the wrong end of a bullet. You hear me? GRISHAM [all the bluster gone] LEM I don't fancy killin no animal just fer this, but this here's a battle-- SOUND GUNSHOT LEM [gasp, hit!] Damn! SOUND QUICKDRAW, GUNS BLAZE GRISHAM Hah! I still gotcha! LEM [weakening, through gritted teeth] Din't no one see them a-sneakin up? CORPORAL [commanding] Men! SOUND MORE GUNSHOTS LEM [groan] SOUND BODY DROP AS HE COLLAPSES END NEXT EPISODE BEGINS SOUND FADES IN AND OUT COMMANDER Hold on, there, fellow. LEM [vague] all's well? COMMANDER We got em. LEM My pack? COMMANDER I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR Bite down on this. He's lost a lot of blood. FADE OUT BOOTMAKER I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them. You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT WOMAN Just a little bit of broth, mister. You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM [annoyed moan] FANSHAW You're awake. LEM [quiet] Anyone--? FANSHAW Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM I been shot? FANSHAW At least twice, judging by the bandages. Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say. I should have been watching. LEM [reassuring] Can't leave you to do everythin. FANSHAW [awkward pause, then stiffly] Should I ...go? LEM Go? go where? FANSHAW [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace. To rest. I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM [straining a bit] Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM [satisfied] FANSHAW I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got somethin on yer mind. FANSHAW LEM Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW [bracing breath] LEM [exasperated snort] Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW LEM [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW So she did--? LEM [shrug] So? FANSHAW [surprised] So? LEM You cain't be the first. FANSHAW First? LEM Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW .. don't? LEM 'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants. FANSHAW What? END
A quirk of fate brings both Lem and Fanshaw face to face with people from their pasts. disagreeable reunions bring up disagreeable memories, and show a taste of what makes a man into a gunslinger. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw - J. Hoverson ~~~~~~ Grisham - Bill Hollweg (BrokenSea Audio) Lisette Carmichael - Robyn Keyes Commander Bannington - Glen Hallstrom Scotty - Mike Campbell Other Voices: Episode 1 Bartender - Rick Lewis Episode 2 Townsfolks - Mark Olson, Candace Behuniak, Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 3 Juliet - Alexa Chipman (Imagination Lane) Glen Hallstrom Episode 4 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Piedmont - Russell Gold Mr. Roberts - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Episode 5 Nanny - Jennifer Dixon Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 6 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Mark & Connor Olson Russell Gold Cover Design: Brett Coulstock Announcer: Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme: "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves. The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify. Some say he rides alone. That's the Deadeye Kid. ************************************************************* Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 1 MUSIC 1_ARRIVAL SOUND HORSES, RIVER, BOAT TRAFFIC LEM Largest town I been near in a good passel of time. I hear tell it started out as a frontier fort, but the frontier moseyed west and left it a-setting behind. FANSHAW Will it be safe? LEM Safe? FANSHAW I had rather assumed you were avoiding larger towns. For ... notoriety's sake. LEM Meaning I don't want be invited to a necktie party? 'at's part of it, though I'm purty sure I ain't never been posted in this territory. FANSHAW Is it worth the risk? LEM [shrug noise] Time to time a man wants a bath and a night in a bed. FANSHAW There are some distinct benefits to being deceased. LEM [laughs] Ayup. I don't gotta listen to you bellyaching about aches and pains and sleeping on the ground no more. Never mind being all prissy and citified about finding you a comf'table bush now and then-- FANSHAW [rolling eyes] Yes, yes. LEM Sides, I'm outta coffee. And low on shells. FANSHAW [teasing] Heavens. How DO you manage? 2_STROLLING AMB IN TOWN SOUND WALKING ON WOOD LEM Lotta trade hereabouts. Reckon I'll be able to get what all I need. FANSHAW Lem! Soldiers. LEM [voice low] Right. We'll go on over yonder. [beat] Must still be a fort within spitting distance. FANSHAW I did notice that the old fortification appears to have become the mansion for an authority of some kind. LEM Probly best to get my business done and skeddaddle. SOUND SALOON DOOR OPENS, JUST OFF, PEOPLE COME OUT FANSHAW I say. Isn't it a bit early for a drink? LEM [shrug] Three weeks. Don't seem early to me. FANSHAW I'll-- LISETTE [off a bit] Clary? FANSHAW [stunned and horrified] Oh god. LISETTE [off a bit] Clary? I'd know that voice anywhere! LEM Friend o'yourn? FANSHAW [stiff, covering] Old acquaintance. Go on ahead! LEM Right. 3_SALOON SOUND HE WALKS INTO SALOON AMB SALOON LEM One here. SOUND DRINK POURED BARTENDER There you go. SOUND COINS SOUND LEM DRINKS GRISHAM [angry growl] Lemuel Roberts. LEM [SPIT-TAKE] SOUND GLASS SLAMMED DOWN BARTENDER Something wrong, fella? LEM [coughing, trying to clear his throat] Toothache. Hit like a snakebite. GRISHAM You look at me, you pissant slab of gun leather. BARTENDER [sympathetic] Tarnation. You need it yonked? Barber can‑‑ LEM [finally getting clear] No, no. I kin handle it. SOUND COINS, GLASS DOWN LEM Another. And sorry about the-- BARTENDER [dismissive] Ain't no nevermind. SOUND MORE COINS LEM Give me the bottle. GRISHAM Now I found you, you could float a heap o rotgut and won't never drown me! BARTENDER You drink more careful now, you hear? LEM Ayup. 4_LISETTE AMB OUTSIDE LISETTE [close, laughing] Oh, good lord, look at you! Mustache and all. Aren't you a little brigadier? FANSHAW [acknowledging] Carmichael. LISETTE Oh, how formal. Just like at school. What have you been up to Clary, dear? FANSHAW "Fanshaw," if you please. LISETTE And we used to be such chums. However did you end up here? FANSHAW I'm quite sorry to see that you are dead, Carmichael. LISETTE [laughing] Oh, I rather doubt that! You're only very sad to see that I'm here, aren't you? FANSHAW Would you prefer that I said I am pleased to find that you died, since that would be the only circumstance that could ever have stopped you from tormenting every living soul around you? LISETTE [not amused any more] At least that would be closer to the truth. FANSHAW Jolly good. Happy you're dead. Must get along. LISETTE Don't run off so quickly, Clary! FANSHAW [long breath of self-control] LISETTE There's been no one interesting to talk to or listen in on for simply ages. FANSHAW How unfortunate. Must rush. LISETTE I noticed you speaking to that fellow. FANSHAW [quiet] Bloody hell. [up] I speak to a lot of people. LISETTE I'm sure. But he replied. Might I speak with him as well? FANSHAW I-- LISETTE Oh, just watch your face! You're trying desperately to come up with a lie! You never could hide anything from me, mustache or no mustache, silly Clary-- FANSHAW Stop calling me that. LISETTE Oh, how I've missed these little moments with my dearest friends - ever since I made the leap. I shall have to spend a great deal of time with you - and with your rugged looking friend. FANSHAW [gritted teeth] Jolly good. 5_SALOON2 AMB SALOON SOUND LEM DRINKS, SLAMS DOWN GLASS GRISHAM I know you kin hear me, you toad-bellied worm. SOUND CHAIR SHIFTS, KICKED OUT FROM TABLE LEM [low] Sit. GRISHAM What makes you think I'd sit with you? You done went and killed me! LEM That's one reason I'm plumb surprised to see you. You went down all the way to Fayetteville - damn far north o' here. GRISHAM I ... drifted. LEM That's just what's got me hornswoggled. Ain't no one drifts. GRISHAM Well I did, and I's planning to get you back for what you done, one way or t'other. LEM [sigh] SOUND DRINK POURS 6_PIGS SOUND PIGS LEM Why'd you drag me out to the slaughterhouse? FANSHAW That woman - ghost woman. LEM An old flame? FANSHAW Nonsense! We knew each other as ... children. She is-- [changing the subject] She is unlikely to follow us here. LEM Spect not. Womenfolks ain't fond of this sort of messy business. FANSHAW [disgusted] Yes... LEM So? You'd best'a brought me here fer a reason. FANSHAW Lisette Carmichael. She [hard to say] is a person who likes to know things. About other people. She likes to -- LEM Hold a grudge? Like a noose over yer head? FANSHAW Aptly put. Yes. LEM You cain't have much in the way of dark secrets, though, can you? Leastways not no more. FANSHAW You might be surprised. LEM Who's she a-gonna tell? [realizes] Oh. FANSHAW And while I'm fairly certain you think you could overlook any past indiscretion on my part, I don't doubt there are a few things that might shock even you. Lord knows, she's not even above the occasional fabrication. LEM [after a moment] Did it involve a sheep? FANSHAW What? LEM Whatever it was you done. FANSHAW No. It isn't - it's not like that at all. LEM [shrug] Sounds like we should jest ride on out. FANSHAW What? LEM Got my coffee, ain't no reason to lollygag. FANSHAW You would leave? Over this? LEM I figger you saved m'life more'n once, and ain't much I can do in return. SOUND WALKING IN MUD LEM Let's get gone before you start a-thanking me. 7_BARN AMB BARN SOUND TACK, HORSES, ETC. LEM You distract her, I'll get the gear. Come and find me when you feel the pull. FANSHAW Righty-ho. SOUND LEAVES GRISHAM Running away, eh? Allus knew you'ure yella. LEM [sigh] You're lucky ain't no one about but us. Otherwise, I wouldn't dignify none of that with an answer. GRISHAM You kilt me! LEM We had it out, fair and square. I never shot no one in-- [breaks off, a bit choked up] I never din't kill any one not a-gunning fer me. Not on purpose. SOUND LAST BIT OF TACKING UP GRISHAM Are you saying I was asking fer it? LEM I seem to recall you a-calling me out in the middle of a fairish game of cards. Yellin blue bloody murder that I should step out and face you. GRISHAM Well, yeah, but I was drunk. LEM I din't do THAT to you neither. You called me out, without no good reason agin me. GRISHAM [losing some of his bluster] I fancied making a name for myself. SOUND LEM GETS INTO THE SADDLE LEM By shooting the Kid? You ain't the first. GRISHAM But you still kilt me. LEM And I won't never forget none of it, but you got what you asked for, and not a jot more. Blame providence if you cain't blame yerself, but don't put this guilt on me. Hee-yaw! SOUND RIDES OFF 8_DISTRACTION FANSHAW Lisette? LISETTE There you are! Just like a naughty boy, running off to filthy places to get away. FANSHAW So sorry. Didn't have much choice. My friend is quite fascinated by... hogs. LISETTE Did you make a clean breast of it? Or just warn him not to believe a thing I say? FANSHAW You don't understand what you're threatening to do - you never did. LISETTE So bothered over trifles! How much people change! FANSHAW Ruining someone's life never meant anything to you! Do you recall poor Selfridge? LISETTE Carmela? Served her right. FANSHAW She threw herself off a bridge! LISETTE She also let herself be compromised! I didn't put her in the family way, and she was the one lying and hiding-- FANSHAW Are you trying to imply that you are somehow in the right? A champion of truth? LISETTE Shall I point out what it is you are doing that flies in the face of nature? FANSHAW History is replete with-- LISETTE Oh, spare me. Next you'll be quoting Shakespeare. FANSHAW Very well. I shan't try and justify myself, but I will point out that whatever I am doing, it cannot be changed. Being dead, there's not much one can do about such trifles. LISETTE Then why should it be such a catastrophe were I to tell? FANSHAW [beat] You've never had a real friend, only people who fawned on you in order that you would not reveal their shortcomings. LISETTE [outraged] I--? You--! FANSHAW Kindly allow me to finish. There is a certain camaraderie among men that simply does not - cannot - occur once a woman is involved. Once you put your nose in, I fear it would never be quite the same. LISETTE No doubt. I'll just go and find your friend now, shall I? FANSHAW [strange gasp, ending on a laugh] No, but I think I shall. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVING NOISE CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 2 1_MOSEYING AMB OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, nighttime SOUND HORSES WALKING LEM I still cain't reckon how he got so far from where he-- I-- where we had it out. FANSHAW How odd. Have you ever encountered other ghosts who could travel? LEM Present comp'ny only. FANSHAW And we know the how and why of that. Perhaps this fellow has a similar... arrangement? LEM How? And who with? Ain't no one would carry that ugly cuss a dog's walk, let alone some hundred miles. FANSHAW Well, every one of we "spirits" seems to be a bit different. LEM Like your lady friend back there? FANSHAW [sigh] From her current appearance and [disapproving] "costume", she had fallen on ‑ahem- hard times indeed. Possibly drifted west - whilst alive - in hopes of making something better for herself. LEM Lot of people can say that, out this way. FANSHAW [a bit snotty] Frankly I'm not surprised at her misfortune. When you alienate all those around you, no one will step in to help if things take a turn for the worse. LEM Cain't say I ain't never been that fella. FANSHAW [chagrined] Oh. MUSIC FOR FLASHBACK NOTE Lem is younger, more cocky, more superior in the falshback - need to really show who he used to be 2_THE OLD KID AMB SALOON LEM Gimme two. SOUND CARDS LEM [pleased noise] I'll see you and raise-- SOUND CROWD HUSHES GRISHAM [snarling declaration] I hear tell the Deadeye Kid's here in town? LEM [ignoring him, smug] Raise ten. DEALER [shaky] Uh, Kid? GRISHAM Which one o' y'all's sposed to be this weasel? LEM Your call. PLAYER1 [shaky] Um... I fold. LEM [chuckles] PATRON1 How can he--? Patron2 Shh! SOUND HEAVY SPURRED BOOTS CROSS FLOOR, PEOPLE SCUTTLE OUT OF WAY GRISHAM [heavy menace] You the deadeye kid? LEM [offhanded] I'm the man playing a nice civil hand of cards. Mebbe you can hold your hosses there, whistle stomper. GRISHAM Either you come out and face me now, or I swear'n I'm gonna shoot you where you sit. SOUND CHAIRS SCOOTING OUT, PEOPLE LEAVING TABLE LEM [long dramatic sigh] Now that sounds a mite like a threat. PLAYER1 [muttered] Uh, yeah. I'm done. Fergot my wife wants me home. GRISHAM Are you coming, or am I shooting? LEM If everyone's takin' leg, I guess I win by forfeit? DEALER Um, I don't think anyone's gonna argue you on that. GRISHAM You turn around now and face me, you yellow bellied dog! SOUND MONEY BEING SHOVED TOGETHER LEM Give the frog a chance to jump, knuckles. Cain't just leave all this layin around. SOUND G's GUN DRAWN AND COCKED GRISHAM Now! LEM [to dealer, cocky] You'll look after this til I get back? DEALER Uh... certainly. GRISHAM I'll do it! I will! SOUND CHAIR SLOWLY MOVES, LEM'S SPUR-STEPS, STANDS LEM Rightchere in front of all these good folks? And leave the dealer to clean up the mess? [tsks] Let's at least be civilized and take this on outside. 3_EASIER MUSIC BACK TO NOW SOUND HORSES WALKING FANSHAW Seems as if it would be a great deal easier. LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Shooting someone in the back. LEM And killin a chicken's easier than takin down a buffalo, but ain't a thing to swell over. Ain't no pride in the easy way. FANSHAW Backshooting would gain you notoriety just as quickly. LEM It's all about how folks look at you... and how they see you. MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK 4_WARMUP GRISHAM Are you stepping? LEM What flavor of tarantula juice got you fit to wake snakes? Milk? [insulting that he can't hold his liquor] GRISHAM [furious noise] I got a pill to run you on, and I'm gonna chew back every moment of it. LEM [to the crowd] Righchere's a rumbustious fellow for you. SOUND DRINKS DOWN HIS LIQUOR, SLAMS IT DOWN LEM Barkeep? Have me a shot of top mark waitin. SOUND WALKS OUT, SLOWLY GRISHAM You look at me while I'm a talking to you! LEM [walking out] You say somethin' more wheat than chaff, mebbe I will. 5_RATTLING FANSHAW Were you trying to upset his equilibrium? LEM What's that when it's at home? FANSHAW uh - Throw him off - make him upset and more likely to make mistakes. LEM Rattlin. Yup. There's as much head as hand in a proper showdown. Not that this was one o' them. FANSHAW Why not? He called you out. LEM He was halfway round on rotgut. Not a nugget's chance agin me. Even if he had all his [careful] equilibriums about him. FANSHAW But you stepped out with him? Even knowing he had no chance? LEM A'course. He wouldn't take no. Drunk fellers who ain't gettin their way are as likely to shoot just about anyone. I reckoned I was a-helpin, putting him down. FANSHAW [a bit touchy] And you couldn't simply injure him or knock him out - he had to die? LEM Ain't no place for fine feelins when there's a man with a gun a-facin you. And ain't no time to aim all purty and shoot him just so. You hit hard and put him down, cause if you don't, he'll do it to you. That's the part you cain't get away from - one or t'other's likely for boot hill, and you GOTTA face it that way. 6_SHOWDOWN MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK SOUND OUTSIDE NOW GRISHAM You ready? LEM Why trouble yerself to call me out anyhow? I kill someone yer riled over? GRISHAM [duh] Yer the Deadeye Kid! LEM [duh] Yep. [beat] That's your sole entire reason? You wanna walk in my boots? GRISHAM No faster way to make a name, than laying out a name. SOUND THEY MOVE TO EITHER SIDE OF THE SOUNDSCAPE SOUND GUN BEING CHECKED, LEM LEM And o'course it gots to be a callout. [digsut, sarcasm] No one wants to be the next Robert Ford. [man who backshot his friend Jesse James] GRISHAM Come on! Kick it up, Deadeye! Less'n yer yellow! SOUND LEM - DIRT PATTERS - checking the wind] LEM [maddenginly cool] Oh. I'm ripe and ready to drop. SOUND TENSION NOISE, CROWD NOISE, THEN SUDDEN FLURRY OF GUNFIGHT. SOUND G - BODY DROP SOUND LEM - GUN INTO HOLSTER. A MOMENT. FEET WALK BACK UP INTO SALOON 7_ENJOY MUSIC BACK TO NOW FANSHAW [relenting a bit] I suppose it's very like being in battle - not a good place to have consideration for the other fellow. LEM Have to ice over that pond. Hard and cold. Hard and cold. FANSHAW I- I do apologize for sounding disapproving. I want to assure you, it's the process that... well... seems so very pointless. LEM [a litle lighter] Men'll be men. FANSHAW But men can behave in a civilized manner! Look at we Brits. LEM [grunt - half laugh half dismissive] FANSHAW Do you enjoy it? LEM [very mixed feelings] Enjoy? FANSHAW Throughout history there have been men who reveled in killing, in battle. LEM Hmmm. [musing] There's a fire that burns you at that moment, like bugs in the skin. LEM S'like the best whiskey and the moment you almost fall off a cliff, and being with the love of your life, all at the same damn time. FANSHAW The thrill of danger? LEM That, but even more so. If'n you just want danger, you go climbin cliffs or breakin broncs. This is starin into the eyes of death - death right there and then and ain't no "maybe so" about it. Kill or be killed. [beat, then not quite truthful] Enjoy? No. FANSHAW Sometimes a person's strength is in making the right choice, even when it might pain them to do so. LEM I reckon. 8_WINNER MUSIC FLASH BACK AMB INSIDE SALOON, HUSHED SOUND GUNSHOT, OUTSIDE WOMAN [gasps] SOUND [CROWD NOISE, OUTSIDE], THEN OMINOUS BOOTS ON WOOD, SALOON DOOR OPENS SOUND PIANO PLAYS, CHATTER BEGINS AGAIN LEM [voiceover] there's also this way people have of lookin at you - like yer the best. Used be I din't see the fear beneath it. SOUND BOTTLE POURS, GLASS SET DOWN BARTENDER Your shot, Mister. LEM [drinks big, then bragging] My second shot in two minutes! SOUND Forced laughter from the crowd, warps out a bit. 9_HUNKER MUSIC BACK TO NOW LEM [brisk] It's coming down dusk. Need to find a place to hunker fer the night. FANSHAW I shall keep an eye out for-- [dread] oh! LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Look - the horizon! LEM Signal fires, and a lot of em. Damn. FANSHAW They're a little far off to get a better look at. We shall... have to return, shan't we? LEM Someone's gotta warn the town. Whether it's injuns or sumpin else, looks like an ambush on the march. FANSHAW [weakly] Surely the garrison maintains lookouts? LEM Not so much that I saw. They're purt near closed up shop, from the looks back there. FANSHAW [heavy sigh] Right, then. SOUND DISMOUNT, SHIFTING A FEW THINGS FROM HORSE TO HORSE LEM You worried about your lady friend? FANSHAW She's neither a lady nor a friend. But whatever she might have to say will matter to none but me. [change of tone] We are a couple of hours out. LEM Horses ain't fresh, but I weren't pushin. We can get back before them out there can get into spittin distance. SOUND MOUNT OTHER HORSE FANSHAW [resigned but determined] Shall we? MUSIC Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 3 1_WONT SPOOK SOUND READYING FOR BATTLE LEM If'n you got a fresh horse, I kin go scout some fer you. COMMANDER You've done enough already, stranger. Ain't even your fight. LEM I know where they're at, and I got some idea of where they're likely to be by the time I get back there. Give me one horse ain't like to spook, and I'll-- COMMANDER I'll have to send a man along with you. LEM That's fine. Make sure he ain't like to spook neither. 2_LISETTE SOUND [above scene plays out in the background] LISETTE And here I thought you had run away and left me all alone. FANSHAW [sigh] Why don't we step outside to have this conversation? LISETTE No. I like seeing what the "menfolk" are up to. [frustrated noise] What I wouldn't give to be able to leave this rattletrap town. I'm still not sure how you did that. Or why you came back. FANSHAW We had to warn the garrison. LISETTE Always full of suprises, aren't you - and yet still sanctimonious. Fanshaw, dear old chum. Are you not afraid of what I might say? FANSHAW Any concern you might cause me is negligible when weighed against the potential danger to others. LISETTE [surprised laugh] Hah! All you superior little snobs, with your noses in the air! And deep down, all just as afraid as the rest of us. FANSHAW I've no idea what you're talking about, and I don't care to find out. Whatever you plan to do, just get on with it. We have a job to do. LISETTE Wait! FANSHAW [long sigh] Yes? LISETTE Shall I wish you "good luck"? FANSHAW I doubt I shall need any. But I thank you for the sentiment, Miss Carmichael, however grudgingly bestowed. 3_JULIET FLASHBACK JULIET Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself. FANSHAW I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo. JULIET What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night So stumblest on my counsel? ROMEO By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself-- SOUND POUNDING LISETTE Oh heavens! Not again! MAN [calling from off] Sorry. SOUND POUNDING STOPS LISETTE Try that scene again from the top. Romeo? FANSHAW [sigh] Yes? LISETTE Couldn't you try to be a bit more ... masculine? JULIET Oh, I like "him". So terribly byronic. FANSHAW I'll see what I can do. 4_SCOTTY SOUND PACKING A HORSE SCOTTY Sir? LEM Yeah? SCOTTY Private Scott. Commander Bennington told me to report to you. LEM [sigh] Right. You ever shot that for real? SCOTTY O'course. LEM Against a person? SCOTTY Well, against animals. LEM Right. GRISHAM Not everyone can be you. LEM [sighs] SCOTTY Don't you worry! I ain't afraid! GRISHAM This pullet ain't even got pinfeathers yet. You get him killed, you gonna adda a notch fer him too? LEM You got a horse, Scott? SCOTTY Everyone calls me Scotty. GRISHAM Later, they'll just call him dead. LEM Scotty. Right. You gotta horse? SCOTTY Over there. GRISHAM [rueful] My damn horse. Serving in the army like the rest of the idjets. LEM Well, go and get'im. SCOTTY Right, sir! GRISHAM Ain't he a little young? You should oughtta throw him back. LEM I'm stuck with him. And I never kept notches. GRISHAM That ain't what I heered. LEM Lot o' tales goin round - ain't a one of 'em naught but sagebrush smoke. GRISHAM And the tale 'bout how you kilt me? LEM [sharp intake] I don't brag on none o' that no more. GRISHAM So, you think I like being plumb forgot? LEM If I thought tellin about it would ease you on to the next thing, you think I wouldn't? SCOTTY Tell me about what? Injuns? [certain] I know all about them. LEM [sigh] 5_SCOUTING AMB CRICKETS SOUND HORSES FANSHAW They're still out of range. I can just barely catch snippets of sound at my farthest reach, but I'm fairly certain it is not Indians. LEM Hmm? FANSHAW I can make out English and Spanish. Are we anywhere near the Mexico territories? LEM [quiet] Ain't impossible. Deserters, mebbe. SCOTTY What ain't impossible? LEM We're gettin close. Best to go on foot. SCOTTY These here horses are my responsibility! LEM Best you stay and watch'em, then. FANSHAW Don't forget the satchel. SOUND CREAK LEM Like I'd forget that. SCOTTY I wouldna gone through your kit or nothin! I ain't no finger monkey. FANSHAW [laughs] I ne'er heard that one before. SOUND REMOVING SPURS LEM Ain't that I don't trust you, son, just might need me some things. If I was you, I'd take them horses up yonder - forge as far into the high rough as you can, but keep where you can see if I come tearin out of there. You reckon? SCOTTY How'll you find us? LEM I'll find you. Just be ready. And don't shoot me. SOUND QUIET FEET ON DIRT 6_JULIET2 FLASHBACK echoey hallway LISETTE [running up] Fanshaw? FANSHAW Carmichael. LISETTE [trying to start a fight] We've been reconsidering your costume. Those leggings are positively scandalous. FANSHAW [bland] Romeo can hardly appear in bloomers. Would be rather difficult to climb to the balcony. LISETTE Perhaps plain trousers, then. [sly] Though I understand you were quite keen on showing off your legs. FANSHAW [rueful] There is a great deal to be said for the freedom of movement. [dismissive] But a costume is a costume. I certainly shan't make a fuss. LISETTE [annoyed at not being able to get a rise out of F] Very well. 7_FANSHAW SCOUTS SOUND SLIGHT RUSTLE OF LEAVES LEM [very quiet] Close enough? FANSHAW I'll have a look round. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [very loud] You hiding from something? LEM [reaction noise, quickly stifled] GRISHAM Ooh! Scairt you, din't I? LEM [whispered] Made me jump damn near out my skin. GRISHAM [smug and evil] Well that's good, then. Looks like I can get my own back on you. LEM What all do you want? GRISHAM Apart from you in a pine box? I'm hankerin to be alive agin, but that ain't gon happen. LEM Not likely, nope. How'd you follow us? GRISHAM What kind of tenderfoot you take me for that I can't follow my own damn horse? LEM [half realizing something] Damn. SOUND FANSHAW COMES BACK FANSHAW Who the devil is this? GRISHAM Who the devil are you? LEM What'd ya find out? FANSHAW A motley crew, but definitely girding themselves for battle. GRISHAM What kinda girlie man are ya? Highfaluting slicker talk! FANSHAW [sigh, but determined] They're half mounted already, but I could make out that they're waiting til after midnight, to make certain of finding as many people abed as possible. GRISHAM Put you in a dress, and I bet everyone'd wanna dance! FANSHAW We need to get moving. GRISHAM I think you need a shave, girlie man. SOUND KNIFE FANSHAW [finally breaking concentration] God damn you all to hell! SOUND PUNCH, KNEE TO GROIN LEM [trying not to laugh] GRISHAM Oooohhhh. FANSHAW Marquis of Queensbury be damned. We need to go. GRISHAM [different kind of ooooh - like he's falling, or being dragged off] SOUND SUCK NOISE AND GRISHAM VANISHES LEM What'd you do to him? FANSHAW I didn't! I couldn't-- I... haven't the faintest idea? 8_JULIET3 SOUND TAP ON DOOR LISETTE Fanshaw? FANSHAW Come in. LISETTE I've brought you your hat-- whatever are you doing? FANSHAW I was considering what I might do with my hair. To create the right ilusion. LISETTE That is what the HAT is for. FANSHAW I prefer not. It looks like an ottoman on my head. LISETTE And Romeo does not wear a moustache. FANSHAW Whyever not? LISETTE On the stage, moustaches are only for villains and army colonels! FANSHAW [considering] I might just cut my hair. LISETTE That is the final straw! Miss Peabody said this would happen. FANSHAW What? LISETTE That you would take too many liberties. You are out. FANSHAW Out? LISETTE [snidely satisfied] You are no longer a member of this production. 9_DEAD SCOTT SOUND QUIET BOOTSTEPS LEM [very quiet] Scotty? FANSHAW [off a bit] Oh, good god. LEM Do I need to keep quiet? FANSHAW I don't see anyone. Anyone... hostile. SOUND QUICK, NOISIER FOOTSTEPS SCOTTY [as if waking up] Oooh! LEM What is-- [tragic regret] Ohh. SCOTTY They come in out of nowheres! FANSHAW I don't doubt it. SCOTTY And they took the damn horses, Mister Roberts! FANSHAW I think that just might explain-- SCOTTY And who in blue blazes is this feller? LEM [heavy sigh] Ayup. CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 4 1_DROP EVERYTHING SOUND UNBUCKLING, BAG DOWN, ETC. LEM Good thing I had that with me. Though now I gotta leave it. SOUND SATCHEL DOWN FANSHAW Of course. SCOTTY I'm really sorry about this, sir. LEM I doubt me you coulda stopped it, son. And you been punished enough. SCOTTY What do you mean? They musta knocked me out, but I don't even feel it. FANSHAW I'll deal with him. LEM I'll leave you to it. SCOTTY What are you doing? LEM Gonna haveta hoof it back to town - cain't take naught but my guns. You gon' be all right? SOUND RUSTLE OF BUSHES FANSHAW Well, we won't be able to do much to stop them if they came across your bag, but that looks like a good hiding place. Especially in the dark. SCOTTY Can't do anything? What are you talking about? FANSHAW Hush, Scotty. Let Lem get moving and we'll have a good long talk. SOUND BOOTS RUN OFF 2_REBEL CAMP SOUND MANY HORSES, MEN CHATTER, etc. SOUND GRISHAM STUMBLES IN GRISHAM Where the hell? [Thunder?]! Goddam rustlers! SOUND MEN WALK BY LEADER Two horses, two saddles. I don't like it. SECOND Guerrero had the kid down before we realized. But if there's another scout, he won't be able to get anywhere - at least not soon enough. LEADER [thinks, then definite] We must move up the charge. SECOND We're nearly ready. 3_NO HEAVEN SCOTTY [trying not to cry] So that's IT? I mean this is it? No nothing left? No heaven? FANSHAW There are so many things even I don't understand. I wish I could offer you more in the way of consolation. SCOTTY But don't no one ever pass along? FANSHAW Most do. And I'm even aware of those who spend some time like this, and then pass on, though there's no easy answer for how or why it happens. SCOTTY And I won't never even get to be with a woman. FANSHAW [uncomfortable] Oh, dear. That is a shame. SCOTTY What's it like? FANSHAW [dread] What is ... what... like? SCOTTY Being with a woman? FANSHAW Ohhh.... 4_RUNNING LEM [heavy but measured breathing] SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS - TROT, NOT DASH LEM [muttered] Dammit. Leastways there's a good moon. 4A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK SOUND NIGHT, DOGS, CHICKENS - ALARUMS SOUND ANGRY MOB, OFF ROBERTS [yelling, off] Leastways, there's a good moon! PIEDMONT [up close, heavy breathing, trying to be quiet] ROBERTS [off, yelling] Spread out! Don't let that traitor get away! Where's that rope? PIEDMONT [gasp, then trying to breathe even quieter] SOUND VERY SLOW CREAK, SHUTTING DOOR ON THE NOISE. YOUNG LEM [about 12] Whatchoo doin', mister? PIEDMONT [terrible gasp, smothers a scream] 6_EXPERIENCE FANSHAW My experience is not ... vast, but I have had one or two ... romantic encounters. SCOTTY Well, you're a man of the world, ain't you? You been all over the place! FANSHAW Oh dear. [up] I've spent most of my life deep in study. I suppose I've always felt there would be time - later - to settle down to a family and all. SCOTTY Me too. Not the studying, but the ... "later". FANSHAW [after a moment] Women are.... soft. SCOTTY [eager] Yeah? FANSHAW And round. In places where men aren't. SCOTTY But they do got legs, don't they? FANSHAW [flabbergasted] What? SCOTTY You never don't see none of them out of skirts! Who knows what they got under there? FANSHAW Well, that I can answer - generally, women are made the same as men. Arms, legs, heads - well, one head. You understand. SCOTTY [avid] And bosoms. FANSHAW Yes. Yes, that. 7_VARMINT SOUND RUNNING, LEM'S HEAVY BREATHING UNDER THIS? PIEDMONT Shh! Don't let anyone know I am here. YOUNG LEM You the varmint they's looking fer? PIEDMONT There is no call to use such language, boy. Do you know this area? YOUNG LEM I should hope I do! My pa's Mr. Jorgenson's top man. PIEDMONT [sarcastic] So he's the one leading the search. YOUNG LEM [pride] Yup. SOUND OUTSIDE, THE ROW GETS CLOSER ROBERTS [outside] Get him, Honeysuckle, there's a good bitch! YOUNG LEM [pride and fear] That's my pa! PIEDMONT But you're not going to tell him I am in here? YOUNG LEM I don't fancy getting whupped. I ain't sposed to be in the barn at night. 8_YOUNG LOVE FANSHAW I was in love. When I was very young. SCOTTY Was she really purtty? FANSHAW [sigh] I thought the sun rose and set with my beloved's face. Have you ever seen hair so fine and blonde that your fingers desperately wanted to touch it? SCOTTY You talk so flowery, I bet all the girls jest love you! FANSHAW Our parents objected. They said we were too young, and I was packed off to school. SCOTTY What didja do? FANSHAW I waited. I nursed my deep love, and remained constant, like patience on a rock. SCOTTY You waited on a rock? FANSHAW I waited at school. I was determined that one day, when we were old enough that no one could object, I would return and we would be joined forever. SCOTTY What happened? FANSHAW I made my way to the object of my affection and...discovered... SCOTTY Yes? FANSHAW That I was the only one who had bothered to wait. SCOTTY She'd gone and -- FANSHAW My "dearest love" had married another. Had, and I quote "almost forgotten about that summer." SCOTTY Damn! Women are right terrible. FANSHAW Don't fault women, boy. There are quite as many constant and sweet-natured females as there are fickle and wicked men. We all deserve a "heaping helping" of the blame. 8_DISCOVERED SOUND UNDER - LEM WALKING NOW, STILL BREATHING HARD, PACING HIMSELF YOUNG LEM They're fixing to hang you? PIEDMONT Yes. YOUNG LEM Why? What for? PIEDMONT We were on opposite sides in a fight. YOUNG LEM You mean the war? Hmph. My pa says why keep slaves when you can hire men for even cheaper and don't have to sell them if'n they don't do the job right. PIEDMONT [incensed] You think your pa knows so much about everything, don't you? YOUNG LEM [a bit afraid] Well, he knows where you are. SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN ROBERTS There he is! MAN Get him! PIEDMONT [scream] SOUND SCUFFLE, KNIFE DRAWN YOUNG LEM [gasp, cut off by hand] PIEDMONT I'll kill your boy, just see if I won't! 10_STUCK SCOTTY You said you know about some folks what was like this for a time and then moved along? FANSHAW Yes. We've encountered one or two. SCOTTY How'd it work? FANSHAW Work? SCOTTY I mean, I don't wanna be stuck out here, middle o' nowhere, all by my lonesome, forever! FANSHAW I don't know that I have an answer for you. I've only been - like this - for a... a couple of years, myself, and haven't seen a fraction of what Lem has. SCOTTY Years? You been dead for years and ain't moved on? FANSHAW We... help people. And I get to see the world - [half pleased, half rueful] hmph... in perfect safety. 11_SHOT SOUND LEM RUNNING AGAIN PIEDMONT [panicky, but trying to be placating] I am going to have to ask you to take a step back, sir! My hand could slip a fraction of an inch, and that's all it would take. YOUNG LEM [gasp] Pa? SOUND GUNSHOT SOUND TWO BODY DROPS ROBERTS [cold] You understand we cain't leave that kind of critter running loose, don't you? 12_BUSINESS FANSHAW Some folks stay because they have unfinished business, and once the business is completed, they are able pass on. SCOTTY Business? I ain't never been in business. FANSHAW No, no. For instance, one young man was able to move along once his murderer was uncovered and hung. SCOTTY Oh. I spose that could happen. FANSHAW Or perhaps when the horses have been recovered, since that was your task at the time of your death. SCOTTY [very down] Oh, right. FANSHAW [cheering] Or, when the town has been warned. That could very well have been at the forefront of your thoughts. SCOTTY [wailing] Oh no! FANSHAW Whatever is the matter? SCOTTY What if it's ladies? FANSHAW [careful] What if what is "ladies"? SCOTTY What if I can't never pass on til I been with a lady? FANSHAW [cold, practical] That would be most extremely awkward. Worry about that once we find out if you can get back to town or not. 13_WHUPPING YOUNG LEM [sniffles a bit] ROBERTS You crying, boy? YOUNG LEM [stifling it] No sir. ROBERTS Good. Now run and let Mrs. Roberts have a look at that scratch. SOUND A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN TURN YOUNG LEM [blank] You shot him dead. ROBERTS Yup. YOUNG LEM In the dark, and on the draw, and din't even hit me. ROBERTS Yup. [beat] You asking something? YOUNG LEM What if he'd'a kilt me? Or what if you did? ROBERTS [long pause] Life's hard, boy. You cain't let folks get away with wrongdoing, no matter who they got a grip on. YOUNG LEM Oh. SOUND BARN DOOR SWINGS OPEN, COUPLE OF STEPS ROBERTS Lem? YOUNG LEM [almost a gasp] Yessir? ROBERTS [casual] Don't think I'm not gon' whale you for being in the barn by night, neither. [neeether] YOUNG LEM [quiet, resentful] Yes, sir. 14_CRICKET SCOTTY It ain't fair! I'm being punished and I ain't never even done nothing! FANSHAW Life is not fair. Death even less so. SCOTTY I-- FANSHAW [cutting him off] Still, I expect there must be some sort of answer. SCOTTY Answer? FANSHAW Very likely, when they take your body back to town, you will accompany it, and there will find what you need to do to pass on. SCOTTY What if they don't take it - me back? FANSHAW Lem will see that they do. SCOTTY Oh. And what about you, Mister Fanshaw? FANSHAW What about me? SCOTTY Don't you get to pass on too? FANSHAW Oh. But you see Scotty, I have no wish to. SCOTTY No? Why? FANSHAW I still have many things to see. And I feel like I'm doing good here. There's a story I read some time back, a sort of fable, about a puppet that comes to life. SCOTTY That's crazy talk. FANSHAW That's why it's a story. In the tale, a cricket is asked to stay with him and make sure he does the right things. SCOTTY All right. Wait, a cricket, like a bug? FANSHAW A talking bug, but yes, a bug. SCOTTY That's just plumb crazy. FANSHAW True. [gasp] Look at the horizon! I think they are on the move! SCOTTY Is there something we can do? FANSHAW This is one of those times I truly wish there was. CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 5 1_COMING SOUND IN TOWN - HORSES, MEN, READYING FOR BATTLE COMMANDER [commands] We need more shot at the western boundary! Get someone over there! SOLDIER Yessir! SOUND FEET RUN OFF SHARPLY SOUND DISTANT APPROACH OF PAINED, SLOW RUNNING SOLDIER2 Sir! Someone's coming! On foot! COMMANDER On foot? SENTRY [off] Halt! LEM [breathless, with long gasps] I can't... If I stop... I'm gon fall down... And I gotta get to... The commander. SENTRY Stop, I say! COMMANDER Let him on through. LEM They're a-movin. Deserters 'n comancheros. Have guns. COMMANDER Why are you-- LEM Kilt Scotty. Took the horses. Look sharp. Ungh! SOUND FALLS DOWN COMMANDER Are you all right? [up] Someone get Doc! LEM I'll be [coughing fit] fine. Jest let me lie till the shakin goes off. 2_SPOOK HORSES SCOTTY We got to do something! FANSHAW And just what do you have in mind? I've already done all I can, scouting them for Lem. By the time they come close enough for us to get a look at, they will be moving fast enough that we shall hardly have time to observe. SCOTTY Can't we spook the horses or nothing? That's what haints do, isn't it? FANSHAW I was with you the entire trip out from town. Did the horses seem spooked to you? SCOTTY [really down] No. FANSHAW If Lem makes it back in time, there are ways we can help him. Otherwise, we are merely spectators at this show. 3_TONIC DOC Can you get yourself around this? LEM [still hoarse, puffing] Tonic? DOC [shrug] Mostly brandy. Medicinal. LEM [rusty chuckle] Thanks, doc. [drinks] LISETTE Oh, goodness. I believe you are Fanshaw's dear friend. LEM [coughs] DOC Din't say it was GOOD brandy. LEM [hawks, spits, clear throat] Hits the spot. LISETTE [calculating] And not able to walk away. [cruel chuckle] How perfectly jolly. DOC The commander's gone off to rally the men, but they're like to need you to guide them. You up fer it? LEM Will be... shortly. Any chance of a mite to eat? It's been a powerful long night, and not looking to roll up any time soon. 4_DO SOMETHING SCOTTY He's the only one what can hear us? FANSHAW We've come across... others. But they are very rare. SCOTTY [yelling] I want to DO something! I want to help! FANSHAW There is no need to make such a ... a ruckus! I am in precisely the same predicament! SCOTTY But I-- GRISHAM [off] Will you two shut up? They're trying to sneak up on your position! FANSHAW Oh dear. Come along. SCOTTY Where? FANSHAW To do the only productive thing - gather as much information as possible. 5_SADDLED SOUND MEN READY TO GO SOUND MOUNT UP LEM [sigh of relief, but also soreness] COMMANDER You doing all right, there, feller? LEM Better saddle than boots. I fair run the soles offa these. COMMANDER Morning comes, we'll stand you a new set. Least we can do. Let's go. SOUND HORSES MOVE OUT LEM Commander? COMMANDER Hmm? LEM Rather than meet them headlong, since ain't no way to know how far they come, might could I suggest a defensive position? COMMANDER This town is not a good place for that. Too spread out. And there's no way to get everyone into the fort, not without leaving near everything they own ripe for the picking. LEM Nah - I'm a-thinkin just this side of the bridge, right about halfway out. Bridge and creek - they ain't much, but if we can catch them this side of it, put their backs to water, and use the treeline for cover-- COMMANDER I like the way you think, hombre. [up] Company! [attention!] 6_FIGHT GRISHAM Ain't no way you're taking me by surprise again, you-- ow! SOUND PUNCH FANSHAW [casual] shut up. SCOTTY That was a good'un! But what if he lands one on you - he's awful big! FANSHAW Leave him! [quiet, moving away] We can't actually be hurt. But not everyone realizes that, and many feel the pain, even when there is no reason to. I learned that the hard way. GRISHAM [off] I'm a-gonna get you! FANSHAW Blast! He may not be able to harm me, but he can annoy and distract, and make it difficult to get anything constructive done. SCOTTY Maybe - maybe I could keep him from bothering you? FANSHAW How? SCOTTY Well, I been plumb angry since I got kilt, and my momma says sometimes the best way to get over anger, if you don't got no pie, is to-- GRISHAM Kill you, you girly man! SCOTTY [grunt as he punches him] GRISHAM oof! SCOTTY Better'n pie! You go on, Mr. Fanshaw, and do what you gotta. FANSHAW Good lad. 7_GRANDKIDS LEM [muttered] Fanshaw? Damn. Too far out. COMMANDER What's the terrain like beyond the bridge? LEM Nothing much to speak of. Some hills. A ridge off to the north where first we saw them. No place fer them to make a stand tween here and there, though. COMMANDER Good. Cain't let this sort of thing go. LEM Course not. COMMANDER You got the extra shot you needed, did you? LEM Ayup. Had to leave all o' mine cached back with Scotty. COMMANDER You're sure he's ... dead? LEM I'm afraid I do know dead when I see it. COMMANDER [sad] That's too bad. LEM Kin? COMMANDER Nephew. LEM [trying to ease] He went down fightin. COMMANDER That don't give my sister grandbabies. LEM [symp] Nope, it shore don't. 8_PIRATES SOUND MUCH CREEPING FANSHAW Looks like about three score. Hardly a fair fight, sneaking up on a defenseless town at night. Like pirates. 8A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK AMB BRIGHT SUNNY DAY NANNY Come along in now, bunny bug. YOUNG CLARA Stop calling me that, nanny! I'm very nearly 10 years old. NANNY You'll always be my little bunny bug. Oh! Whatever is that tea towel doing on your head? [gasp of fear] Did you hurt yourself? Show nanny! YOUNG CLARA No! I am a pirate. NANNY Do not be so silly. There are no pirates. YOUNG CLARA Of course there are. They are in books, so they must be real. NANNY Besides, you cannot be a pirate. YOUNG CLARA Well not just NOW. When I am bigger, I shall be able to do whatever I want. 9_WASPS COMMANDER Did you see how big a force they had? LEM Not to count them, but it was bigger'n I thought. At least 30, probably more. COMMANDER [skeptical] Really? LEM They had a dozen cookin fires goin, and you don't make a fire to feed a lone fellow. COMMANDER [considers, then agrees] No, you don't. LEM 'Sides, better to expect a whole hive of wasps than be surprised by one too many. COMMANDER [chuckles] Sound thinking. [up] Lieutenant! 10_BAG SOUND STILL MUCH MOVEMENT SOUND SCOTTY AND GRISHAM, FIGHTING SCOTTY [pleased] You tired yet, feller? I ain't even blowed! GRISHAM [tired] You little whippersnapper! Think you can pull a man's whiskers and walk away! FANSHAW [muttered] There are some distinct benefits to being dead. More than he will ever know. [gasp] No. RUFFIAN1 Hey! I found something! SOUND CREAK OF LEATHER - LEM'S GEAR FANSHAW [worried] Damn! Lem's bag! RUFFIAN2 What? SECOND Silence! RUFFIAN2 [whispered] bring it - we'll split it later! RUFFIAN1 Split it? Nonsense! It's mine, whatever it is! SECOND [whispered] Keep moving! 11_SCOUT AHEAD COMMANDER [ordering, but hushed] Take your men and circle round up thataway. Get to high ground and cut off retreat. BOB Yessir! LEM If you don't mind, sir, I'us thinkin I might scout on up ahead a mite. COMMANDER You aren't even being paid to be part of this, fellow, why do you keep risking yourself? LEM [shrug] Someone's gotta. 'sides I had to leave my kit behind, and wanna get it if I can before someone else lays hands on it. COMMANDER Valuables? LEM Nothin worth money, but some things cain't be replaced. COMMANDER [teasing a bit] Go on then, but if you see them coming, you'll come back and tell us first, eh? LEM [chuckle] I reckon. 12_LEAD ROPE SCOTTY Mister Fanshaw! That fellow just vanished! Like he flew away, whilst I was a-hittin on him! FANSHAW I fear I shall be gone shortly as well. SCOTTY Why? FANSHAW I am not sure of his reasons, but I must stay with the bag. Now that it has been found... SCOTTY Why? Keeping an eye on it? FANSHAW No. There's something in there - Oh! It's moving. Stay with me as long as you can. SCOTTY Why can't I--? FANSHAW Shh! [very hurried] Picture a rope tied to something, say, to you - your body, over there. And you are on the other end. SCOTTY Like a training rope? [ASK PAT] FANSHAW Basically, yes. You can go anywhere, within the circle made by that rope. SCOTTY [figuring it out] So you're ... tied to that bag? FANSHAW Yes! [gasp] Bloody thieves! SOUND FANSHAW SUCKED AWAY 13_BE A BOY YOUNG CLARA I am going to be a pirate! I shall sail the seven seas and steal all the gold! NANNY Stealing is very wicked. YOUNG CLARA But you can't be a pirate without stealing! Then you're just a sailor! NANNY And young ladies do not become pirates. Young ladies become mommies. YOUNG CLARA Or nannies. NANNY [reassuring] Don't fret yourself, bunny bug. You shall be a mummy. YOUNG CLARA I should rather be a nanny. Mummies are boring. Nannies have things to do. NANNY [sigh] Mummies have things to do too. YOUNG CLARA I don't want to be a mummy, I want to be a pirate! I want to see the world! NANNY [stern] There are many thing in this world, Clara Fanshaw, that are only meant for boys. YOUNG CLARA Then I want to be a boy! END Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 6 1_READY SOUND NIGHT, MEN BEING QUIET, HORSES OFF COMMANDER Yer sure you wanna go on out there, all on your own?? LEM I'm best on my own, and I don't want another of yer boys on my conscience. COMMANDER [acknowledging] Scotty. LEM If I can't see my way to get back and warn you quick enough, I'll shoot off twice-- COMMANDER [warning] They'll know you're there. LEM I kin look after myself. Two shots means it's a-comin, and I spect after that there'ull be plenty more shots to keep y'all busy. I best get a move on. COMMANDER One thing. LEM Yeah? COMMANDER One of my men swore he'd seen you before. LEM [down] Oh. COMMANDER And that you're the Deadeye kid. LEM I- COMMANDER [overriding, but clearly lying] I told him not to be so credulous. Deadeye Kid looks nothing like that man that's about to save our town. LEM [realizing] Ri-ight. COMMANDER [serious] Don't make me a liar. LEM I kin only do my best. SOUND WALKS AWAY 2_BLACKGUARDS SOUND COMMOTION, MANY MEN, HORSES, TRAVELING LEADER [loud whisper] We'll leave the horses near the stream and sneak up. FANSHAW Blackguards. RUFFIAN2 [whisper] What's in that bag you found anyways? RUFFIAN1 [whisper] Ain't had no time, but it's shore heavy. RUFFIAN2 [whisper] Heavy is good! Mebbe it's gold! RUFFIAN1 Well, I still ain't sharing! FANSHAW Such stimulating conversation. I wonder how far ahead of these ruffians I can manage to stay. 3_TALLYHO SOUND STEALTHY MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH, STOPS LEM Nothin. [angry hmph] They cain't be too damn far off. And ridin. FANSHAW [distant] Tally-ho! LEM [starts to laugh but turns it into a snort] FANSHAW Halloooooo! Halloo- [suddenly cut off] LEM What the devil? [shrugs, to himself] Well, you can take care of your own damn self. SOUND RUNNING FEET TAKE OFF 4_STRUGGLE AMB IN THE ATTACK FORCE GRISHAM Now I gotcha sorted out! FANSHAW [muffled noises] SOUND STRUGGLING GRISHAM Oh, no you don't! SOUND MORE STRUGGLE GRISHAM I finally figgered out cain't do nothing to hurt me. Long as I ignore it. But I can still keep a tight grip on you. FANSHAW [noise of effort] GRISHAM [ouch!] Hey! You bit me! FANSHAW Keep ahead of them!!!! GRISHAM Waitaminute. [disgusted noise] FANSHAW [to grisham] Damn you all to--[muffled again] GRISHAM Stop with all the wiggling, you stupid-- [stunned!] whatthehell? FANSHAW [noise of effort] SOUND STRUGGLE, BREAKS FREE GRISHAM You're a-- ? FANSHAW You may be stronger than me, but I am faster. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM what the hell? A female? 5_SIGNAL COMMANDER He's been gone a fair piece. SOUND [DISTANT] TWO GUN SHOTS COMMANDER [commanding, but quiet] They're coming! SOUND [command passes along ranks - GET VOICES] COMMANDER [a bit superior] I knew that that fellow was no sort of outlaw. 6_PLAN DOS LEADER Shots? SECOND Sir? LEADER Damn. Someone has seen. Get El puerco and his fellows. Tell them plan dos. SECOND Plan dos, sir? LEADER They'll circle south and get behind the town. We get some children in hand, no one will fight any more. SECOND Yessir! SOUND RUNS OFF SCOTTY [torn] I can't just let them-- [plaintive] but what can I do? 7_BUCKETFULL SOUND HORSES APPROACHING NOTE - Lem is lying in wait, letting the group go past, and plans to pick them off from behind. FANSHAW [distant but closer, yelling] Lem! That dead friend of yours is about - watch out! LEM [muttered] Damn. And I don' want to go shootin no good horse jest to lay a varmint like that down. SOUND HORSES BEGIN TO PASS LEM [very quietly] 30...? Nearer fifty. That's a bucketful of wasps. SOUND SHOTS! (where the horses went to) LEM [muttered to self] hold on. SOUND NO MORE HORSES COMING LEM [muttered] almost... GRISHAM There you are! LEM [sharp intake of breath] That don't work on me twice. Specially when I been warned. GRISHAM Oh, that girly friend of your'n? Funny thing about that-- SOUND GRISHAM IS YANKED AWAY LEM Good riddance. And jest in time. SOUND BEGINS SHOOTING MaN [shot, fall] 8_HOLD THE LINES COMMANDER [roaring now] Hold the lines! More shot, boy! BOY Yessir! MAN [hit, argh!] COMMANDER Stay low! FANSHAW All seems rather well here. GRISHAM There you are. FANSHAW Bloody hell. GRISHAM [nasty chuckle] I was just wondring - if I kin grab you, I bet I kin kiss you, little lady! FANSHAW [dodging] I doubt you'll catch me again, now that I'm watching for you, but I will admit that one advantage to being a ghost is that I needn't make an effort to remain upwind of you. SOUND FANSHAW OUT 9_RELOAD SOUND COMMOTION OFF, NOT RIGHT HERE SOUND RELOADING SOUND NEARBY HORSE PFFS LEM That's nine. SOUND SLAPS GUN SHUT SCOTTY [distant, yelling] Someone! They're circling round! There's some fellers as are going south to get behind lines! LEM Damn. [listens for a second] Fanshaw? Damn. SCOTTY [yelling] Please! Don't let them hurt nobody in town. LEM [muttered] boy'll yell himself hoarse. [chuckles] dead don't get hoarse. But I gotta get one. [clucks to horse] SOUND HORSE BLOWS LEM [grunts as he swings into the saddle] Come on. FANSHAW [a bit distant] Lem? LEM Wazzat? There you are! FANSHAW Close as I can get just now, and can't stay. That blighter keeps trying to grab me. LEM Grisham? Yeah. FANSHAW The commander seems to be holding well. The villains have taken heavy losses and are starting to fall apart. LEM Good. Can you yell to Scotty, let him know I got his message? FANSHAW What message? LEM Just try and tell the boy. So he can rest hisself. [to the horse] Geeyah! SOUND HORSE TAKES OFF FANSHAW Scotty? Can you hear me? 10_YOU STAY COMMANDER Let's clean this up - leave none of them to try and harm the town. CORPORAL Yessir! Should we capture them, or-- COMMANDER This is no time to be peaceable. They set themselves up to attack a settlement, and we have to take serious measures. SOUND HORSE APPROACHING LEM [distant] Commander! COMMANDER Let him through. [up, to Lem] Looks like we've got nearly all of them. SOUND GUNSHOTS DISTANT COMMANDER A bit of tidying up to do, but-- SOUND HORSE PULLS UP and STOPS LEM [to horse] Whoah! I overheard a couple at the back, saying they had a force circlin south - dozen men mebbe - to get round any resistance and come up behind. COMMANDER My god! LEM Horse up a few good men, load em up and come with me. COMMANDER You, boy! BOY Yessir? COMMANDER Bring my horse, quickly! LEM You're needed here, surely? COMMANDER You're the one who needs a rest, mister Roberts. My corporal, here, will be happy to hear any other suggestions you might have, but I will be leading my men. LEM Sound thinkin. I have been going a bit. COMMANDER Corporal? CORPORAL [acknowledging] Yes sir. FANSHAW Lem? I think I got through to Scotty, but there's such a distance. Poor lad, he merely wants to do his duty. SOUND LEM DISMOUNTS LEM Let's you and I see if we cain't root out a few more of these varmints. I see purty well in the dark. CORPORAL Excellent! FANSHAW I'll see what I can turn up. GRISHAM Found you! FANSHAW Oh, damn! GRISHAM You ain't never getting away from me, you-- FANSHAW [hits out] GRISHAM [ungh!] FANSHAW Have to get him out of here, Lem. Too distracting. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [laughs triumphantly] Coward! But I don't suppose I should be surprised. LEM [quietly, but deadly serious] You don't stop making a fuss, I'm gon' kill your horse. GRISHAM What? LEM You sit still and be quiet or that horse yer so attached to is gonna find itself on the wrong end of a bullet. You hear me? GRISHAM [all the bluster gone] Yeah. LEM Good. I don't fancy killin no animal just fer this, but this here's a battle-- SOUND GUNSHOT LEM [gasp, hit!] Damn! SOUND QUICKDRAW, GUNS BLAZE GRISHAM Hah! I still gotcha! LEM [weakening, through gritted teeth] Din't no one see them a-sneakin up? CORPORAL [commanding] Men! SOUND MORE GUNSHOTS LEM [groan] SOUND BODY DROP AS HE COLLAPSES END NEXT EPISODE BEGINS SOUND FADES IN AND OUT COMMANDER Hold on, there, fellow. LEM [vague] all's well? COMMANDER We got em. LEM My pack? COMMANDER I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR Bite down on this. He's lost a lot of blood. FADE OUT BOOTMAKER I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them. You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT WOMAN Just a little bit of broth, mister. You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM [annoyed moan] FANSHAW You're awake. LEM [quiet] Anyone--? FANSHAW Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM Good. I been shot? FANSHAW At least twice, judging by the bandages. Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say. I should have been watching. LEM [reassuring] Can't leave you to do everythin. FANSHAW [awkward pause, then stiffly] Should I ...go? LEM Go? go where? FANSHAW [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace. To rest. I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM [straining a bit] Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM [satisfied] Good. FANSHAW I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got somethin on yer mind. FANSHAW Oh. LEM Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW [bracing breath] Yes. LEM [exasperated snort] Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW Yes. LEM [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW So she did--? LEM [shrug] Yup. So? FANSHAW [surprised] So? LEM You cain't be the first. FANSHAW First? LEM Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW I... don't? LEM 'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants. FANSHAW What? END
Nersnack om Mantorp´s 145Resultat ifrån Jump in July.Unghäst championat.Trött Dm i Örebro.Vm Lagen Klara.
The Demon Beelzebud returns to pester sisters Rena and Matilda. [sequel to Force Majeure] Cast List Beelzebud - Anthony D.P. Mann (Horror Etc. Podcast) Rena - Julie Hoverson Matilda - Kate Waterous Jesse - Big Anklevitch (Dunesteef Audio Magazine) Infernique - Julia Carter Willial - Mark Olson Benedict - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Closky - Florida Possum Fat guy - Dave Fontenot Manager - Scott Spaulding Cameo appearance from Super Haunted Stories! Music by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Julie Hoverson Cover art includes: clear crystal / red crystal "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a modern family home, can't you tell?" ********************************************** Caveat Emptor Cast: Beelzebud Rena Matilda Jesse Infernique Willial Benedict Mrs. Closky Fat guy Manager OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a family home, can't you tell? MUSIC SOUND ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF, IS SLAPPED DOWN JESSE [waking up] maaaargh. SOUND PATTING BED JESSE Huh? [thick] Babe? [clears throat] Babe? [considering noise] Hmmm. SOUND BLANKET FLAPS JESSE What the hell time...? What? [yelling petulantly] Cassie? Who reset the alarm? SOUND STUMBLES INTO OTHER ROOM JESSE Cassie? Where's the laptop? Shit! We've been robbed! SOUND RUSHING AROUND SOUND DOORBELL JESSE Where's the phone? Gotta call police. SOUND DOORBELL JESSE Who the hell? SOUND DOOR OPENS ON CHAIN JESSE This is not a good time. BUD It's the only time you got, pal. JESSE I just got robbed. BUD No, you just got dumped. Read the note on the fridge. JESSE What? SOUND DOOR SLAMS, OUTSIDE WITH BUD BUD [WHISTLES SOMETHING] SOUND DOOR JERKS OPEN AGAIN JESSE [freaking out] Are you a friend of Cassie's? Do you know where she went? BUD Not my area. I just dropped by to give you a bit of a head's up. JESSE Uh-what? BUD I know you're feeling pretty low. Wife walked out, took the kid, and you don't know why-- JESSE We have a good life! BUD Yeah, it's got nothing to do with you moping around the house all day-- JESSE I got laid off. BUD Leaving all the housework for the little woman, so that when she gets home from her full day-- JESSE I have to spend my time looking for work-- BUD A lot of work in World of Warcraft, is there? Or are you considering a career in porn? JESSE None of your business! Besides...they're the only things that make me less depressed-- BUD Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all. So today is your lucky day - kinda. JESSE Kinda? BUD [dragged out, savoring] Ye-a-aah. MUSIC MATILDA It's $200. That's like three tanks of gas. RENA [disgusted sigh] I hate this work. MATILDA One hour plus drive time. Just think of it as gathering intel. RENA I'll think of it as whine tasting. SOUND PICKS UP KEYS, DOOR OPENS MATILDA Have fun! MUSIC SOUND DOORBELL, DOOR OPENS ON CHAIN RENA You called? JESSE Oh, yeah, this guy - he gave me your card. RENA And? JESSE And? RENA I didn't come all this way to stand on your porch, unpaid. MATILDA [mic] Confirmed. JESSE Oh, ah. Come in. SOUND UNCHAINS, OPENS DOOR JESSE Yeah, um, it's kind of a mess. You want a beer or something? RENA 57 minutes. JESSE What? RENA Of your hour. We confirmed your paypal transaction. JESSE Oh, right. My wife – she left me. RENA When? JESSE Oh, just this morning. RENA [disbelieving] Hmph. JESSE She's not much of a housekeeper. RENA I can smell that. JESSE That doesn't mean I don't want her back! SOUND POUNDING ON THE DOOR JESSE [angry sigh] Just a sec. RENA Take your time. MATILDA [mic] Cut the poor guy some slack. SOUND OPENS DOOR MRS. CLOSKY How dare you! JESSE How dare I, what? MRS. CLOSKY Bring a hooker into your house while your wife's away? MATILDA [mic] [laughing hysterically] RENA [low] Not funny. MATILDA [mic] I told you the black leather was wrong for the neighborhood! RENA Tough is tough. JESSE She's not-- MRS. CLOSKY I know just what kind of woman has the bleached blonde hair and the motorcycle. JESSE But Cassie-- MRS. CLOSKY That poor woman gave you two beautiful children, so any weight she's gained, well that's just as much your fault, isn't it? MATILDA [mic] [fresh peals of laughter] RENA I'm gonna turn you off. JESSE But Mrs. Closky! MRS. CLOSKY You're just like my sonofabitch husband, and I just wish I had had someone like me to speak up on my behalf back when he-- SOUND DOOR SHUTS, cutting her off JESSE [sigh] Shit. RENA Sum up quick. I'm already bored. JESSE My wife left me this morning. I want to find out where she went. RENA Did you call her parents? JESSE Her mother won't answer. RENA Did you call her friends? JESSE They're all on her side. RENA Did you check her emails? JESSE I didn't think of that. RENA What have you done? JESSE I ... called you. RENA You understand that first $200 is only for this hour, the one we're currently wasting. JESSE Not for the entire job? RENA Not unless I find her in the next 47 minutes. JESSE [hopeful] Do you think you can? RENA What's her email address? MUSIC SOUND OUTSIDE, WALKING, LEATHER CREAKING MATILDA [mic] She already emailed back. Says he's been a shit since he got laid off. Says she told him she was going to do this, weeks ago, and he didn't even pay attention. RENA Hmph. Makes me want to run out and find one of my own. MATILDA [mic] [laughs] WILLY Uh, hello? RENA Not in a million years. WILLY I was just looking for a - ah! There's the address. SOUND HE HUSTLES OFF RENA Must be a friend of his-- MRS. CLOSKY [off, calling] You! RENA Oh hell. MRS. CLOSKY You, woman! MATILDA [mic] Uh-oh. RENA [sigh] What? MRS. CLOSKY How much do you charge? MATILDA [mic] Tell her you don't do lemon parties. RENA I don't-- [starts over] I am a bounty hunter. MRS. CLOSKY Oh! Well, that's a disappointment. RENA That I'm not a prostitute? MRS. CLOSKY I have a nephew. Unmarried. He could use a little cheering up. And his birthday's coming! MATILDA [mic] [teasing] We are a bit short on cash. RENA I - I have to go. Now. SOUND MOTORCYCLE REVS MUSIC AMB MATILDA'S DEN SOUND DOOR SHUTS (OFF) SOUND RENA ENTERS MATILDA [calling] So, how was the nephew? RENA [muffled] Funny. SOUND KNOCK ON DOOR RENA There wasn't any - oh. MATILDA What? RENA Who pops up out of nowhere on a regular basis? SOUND OPENS DOOR BUD Hiya doll! [louder] Dolls! RENA [to M] You okay with having him in? MATILDA Yeah, I guess. BUD Make a guy feel wanted, why dontcha? MATILDA We forgot to vacuum! RENA We're antisocial. BUD And here I thought it was just me. RENA You forgot to vacuum too? MATILDA Get over here, where I can see you! SOUND WALKING RENA Matilda. Bud. SOUND SHE FLOPS INTO CHAIR MATILDA You do look like Steve Buscemi. BUD I'm gonna take that as a compliment. You don't got no more places to sit? RENA One butt, one chair. Part of the recluse mystique. MATILDA There's a stool around somewhere... BUD eh. I can stand. Don't plan to be here that long. See, I gotta problem. MATILDA Another one? RENA We get $200 for the first hour. BUD Here. SOUND SLAPS DOWN MONEY BUD You know, I never woulda mistaken you for a prostitute. RENA Good to know. BUD Dominatrix, maybe. RENA [losing it] It's motorcycle gear! Not some kind of leather teddy and thigh high boots-- MATILDA [taunting] With stiletto heels? RENA Not helping! And those things'll break your ankles. [breath, recomposed] Clock starts now. What's your problem? BUD You girls are a hoot. You should take it on the road. MATILDA No thanks. RENA Tick...tock. BUD Fine. [sigh] You'd think the life of a demon like me would be a piece of cake. MATILDA From what you've said, you seem to have it all down to a system. BUD Yeah, well any well oiled machine can go Pfft - if you stick in the wrong cog. RENA What have you been sticking in your cogs? BUD [snicker] It's Infernique. MATILDA Sounds like a perfume. BUD The demon chick you fixed me up with. RENA Nuh-uh. No fixing. Just tricked her into giving in and going out with you. Once. Whatever happened after - not my fault. MATILDA Well, maybe just a little. BUD She's convinced she gotta class me up. RENA Class? You? BUD You don't need to make it sounds like such a joke, babe. MATILDA I wondered about the suit. Seemed awfully-- RENA Tasteful? MATILDA Restrained. I mean, the descriptions - you have such ... flair! [undertone] help me out here. RENA No. BUD Yeah, yeah, so I like the classics. This sharkskin still got its own kind of flash, but she's killing me with the pastels. [confidential] You know they come from the pit of despair? MATILDA Pastels? BUD Yeah. Not a pretty story. [up a bit] Anyway, I'm not so good at saying "no" to her, and she's been trying to get me to trade up. Better department. Better class of victim. MATILDA What will the comedians do without you? BUD Yeah, that's what I say, but there's always someone willing to take most any place, but my place is one of those ain't no one gonna fight over, see? RENA Nope. BUD This guy, Jesse - I gave him your card this morning - ring a bell? RENA The douche who didn't realize his wife was about to walk? BUD Yeah, well - that's what Infernique wants me for my new clientele. MATILDA The recently abandoned? The thoughtless husbands? RENA The douches? Plenty of them. You can have 'em. BUD Yeah, but she's got me sneaking around behind the back of Willy, the guy whose job it is now, undermining his numbers. Trying to make him look bad. Getting the douches to not sign. MATILDA All's fair in love and hell? BUD I dunno - I ain't liking this. RENA Talking people out of selling their souls? How abominable. BUD Nah, it's the backstabbing. Willy's - well not "good people" maybe, but he ain't a bad guy. Kind of a plodder. No inspiration. But he's got a sweet berth and he's ...competent. MATILDA You'll really miss the comedians, won't you? BUD [sighing admission] Yeah. RENA Easy. Tell her you don't want to change. BUD Why don't you just point me at a good doctor, then, for when she rips me a new asshole. RENA Guess you're screwed. MATILDA Waitaminute. Look. the way I see it, you have two choices here. You can go ahead and be perfect, toe the line, do what she wants and be with her until she finds someone more ambitious-- RENA Won't be hard. MATILDA Shush. Or you find a way to slack off and subtly let her know that you aren't going to turn into a silk purse any time soon, and let her dump you. RENA Talk to that guy from this morning. I'm sure he can give you some pointers. MATILDA The big question is, is she worth it? BUD You know... You said a mouthful right there. I think some deep pondering is in order. Thanx! RENA You still have a few minutes left. BUD Ehh - Keep it! All us classy types tip! MUSIC RENA [snoring] SOUND PHONE RINGS, ANSWERED RENA [groggy] Hello? [a bit better] Hello? SOUND STRANGE BUZZ ON THE LINE RENA Shit. SOUND HANGS UP SOUND GRABBING CLOTHES, GUN SOUND EASES OPEN DOOR RENA [deliberately calms her breathing to listen] SOUND MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY FROM MATILDA'S ROOM RENA [whispered] Shit. SOUND QUICK DASH SHUTS MAT's DOOR, MUSIC'S MUFFLED RENA [calming her breathing again] SOUND CREAK, ACROSS ROOM RENA [catch in her breathing, then careful] SOUND ANOTHER CREAK, ACROSS THE ROOM SOUND RENA CAREFULLY TAKES THE REMOTE SOUND CLICK, TV COMES ON, ACROSS ROOM BENEDICT [gasp] SOUND QUICK SCUFFLE OF MOVEMENT RENA [now behind him] You're gonna want to drop that. SOUND CLICK OF HER GUN CoCKED BENEDICT You don't know what you're doing. SOUND CLICK - TV OFF RENA I'm the one with the gun. And the remote. Whatever you got in your hand, drop it. SOUND SOMETHING CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR. SOUND MAT'S DOOR FLUNG OPEN MATILDA Hold it right there! RENA [up] Got 'im. [to him] Hands behind your back. BENEDICT [annoyed] Really? RENA Really. MATILDA Sorry I took so long. Couldn't find the night vision goggles. BENEDICT [sigh] Fine. SOUND HANDCUFFS ON BENEDICT IS this really necessary? RENA You're the one who broke in. MATILDA I'll get the lights. RENA Goggles off. MATILDA I know! SOUND GOGGLES OFF, LIGHT SWITCH MATILDA Ooh! He's smoking hot! Can we keep him? BENEDICT Let me explain. RENA Not much chance of that. Mat, 9-1-1, okay? MATILDA [playing it up] New where did I leave the phone? BENEDICT [blurted out] Where are you keeping the demon? RENA [surprised snort] MATILDA [giggles] Wow, dramatic much? RENA There's a doghouse out back… MATILDA [fresh peal of laughter] BENEDICT This is no joke, lady. Harboring a demonic fugitive is very serious. RENA [growling now] “A” – harboring? Not a chance. “B” - fugitive? BENEDICT Beelzebud, lower echelon romalpa class signatory demon. He stands accused of contractual misconduct. RENA Let me guess – that's bad. BENEDICT It's a termination-class penalty. MATILDA Oh, shit! RENA Tell us more. BENEDICT No. MATILDA Oh, come on. You hunt demons. Do you make a good living at that? BENEDICT [bursts out laughing] RENA Guess that's a no. BENEDICT It's a calling, not a job. RENA So... you're a demon too. BENEDICT I'm not telling you anything. RENA You broke into our house. Convince us that we shouldn't call the real-life police. BENEDICT I wasn't going to do anything to you - just put this crystal somewhere-- RENA This thing? BENEDICT Yeah. It's a--[shuts up] MATILDA Might as well finish the sentence. [beat] How about strip guesses? BENEDICT What? RENA If she guesses and she's wrong, you lose a piece of clothing. BENEDICT Are you insane? RENA We don't get a lot of hot male visitors. MATILDA And you woke us up in the middle of the damn night. Is it a tracking device? BENEDICT No. MATILDA Camo coat. BENEDICT Can't take it off over the handcuffs. MATILDA Oh, bummer. Pants, then. BENEDICT [panicking a little] It's a simple listening device - like a mystic "bug" Ok? RENA Guess he wins. Sorry Mat. MUSIC AMB COMEDY CLUB [HEARD FROM BACKSTAGE] FAT GUY [punchline to a joke] Boom-boom, boom-boom, boom-boom. SOUND SCATTERED LAUGHTER, NOT MUCH FAT GUY and... Good night! SOUND RUNS IN MANAGER That could have been better. FAT GUY [grumpy] Open mike, read it and weep. BUD Psst. FAT GUY What do you want? BUD I like what you did up there. FAT GUY [knowing] I know who you are. BUD You... do? FAT GUY Yeah, I was warned there's a guy going around with bogus contracts. Screw off. BUD I don't know nothing from bogus. I'm as legit as they come-- FAT GUY [squealing] You want me to call the cops? Jeez! SOUND STOMPS OFF BUD [muttering, furious] Bogus contracts, eh? SOUND HE GOES OUT INTO ALLEY. DOOR SHUTS BUD [furious - cussing in latin] Mater tua caligas gerit! RENA You kiss someone's mother with that mouth? BUD [affable again] You know latin, doll? RENA [shrug] I know cussing. BUD [chuckles] RENA Matilda wanted me to warn you. Someone's on your tail. SOUND MOTORCYCLE REVS, OFF RENA And... He probably followed me here. BUD [not real disturbed] Yikes. RENA I thought I left you in handcuffs. BENEDICT Your sister took pity on me. MATILDA [mic] He's not such a bad guy. BUD All right occifier. I'm not as think as you drunk I am. RENA Don't joke. BENEDICT You might step out of the way, ma'am. RENA [to Bud] You need some help? BUD Why? RENA I don't know. I just thought I'd ask. BUD I'm touched. Oddly. [beat] Nope. It ain't gonna be pleasant, but ain't nothing to be done about that. See you soon, doll. SOUND COUPLE OF FOOTSTEPS, WEIRD WHOOSHING NOISE MATILDA [mic] Well... I'll miss him. RENA Yeah. [sigh, beat] Donuts? SOUND SHE WALKS BACK TO MOTORCYCLE SOUND PHONE RINGS RENA Hmm? SOUND BEEP RENA [wondering] Who the hell? SOUND TURNS ON RENA What? JESSE [phone] Are you doing anything at all? MATILDA [mic] Who's that? RENA Found her. Job done. JESSE [phone] She's not back! RENA Yeah. Sucks. She's still pissed off. MATILDA [mic] Oh, him. What does he expect, that you'll ride in with his wife over your shoulder, kicking and screaming? RENA I'm not draggin her home by her hair. JESSE [phone] Then what are you doing? RENA I told her to email you a list of demands. Have you checked your email? JESSE [phone] I can't! The bitch cut off my internet! RENA [sotto voce] Boo-hoo. [up] Hold on. I'm transferring him to you, Matilda. I am not playing phone relay for— SOUND HUGE SPOOOKY WHOOOSHY SOUND SOUND BODY FLUNG INTO WALL RENA Ungh! SOUND PHONE SKITTERS AWAY SOUND THINGS GO WEIRD AND HOLLOW MATILDA [mic] [fading into odd tunnel] Rena? Rena!!!! Rena!!!! MUSIC AMB MATILDA'S LAIR MATILDA [panicking] Rena? [deep shaky breath] Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Maybe it's the cell tower. Maybe it's-- Maybe its demons. Oh shit. INFERNIQUE Shit is right! MATILDA [almost a scream] Who the fuck are you? INFERNIQUE Where is my BUD? [spooky] What have you done with him? MATILDA [trying hard to stay calm, but kind of losing] Bud? I don't know! We-we didn't do anything! [almost a scream] Where's my sister? INFERNIQUE That's what I want to know! When I tried to triangulate on her, I got NOTHING. MATILDA Triangulate? INFERNIQUE Anyone who deals with us has a sort of trace on them ...evermore. Until they pass beyond. Is she dead? MATILDA [whine] Nooo? INFERNIQUE If she isn't then she's passed out of this realm. She never said she could DO that! MATILDA I'm just going to faint now. I hope you don't mind... RENA [on speaker, weak] Mat? MATILDA [gasp] INFERNIQUE What? MATILDA [thinking hard] I-I can't find a good place to fall down. INFERNIQUE She's on your headset? MATILDA She was, just for a moment. INFERNIQUE [satisfied] hah. There. Yes. She must be in the outer fringe. Guess we won't be seeing her again. MATILDA [sobbing gasp] MUSIC AMB ECHOEY DUNGEON BUD Babe? RENA [waking] What? Oh, crap. Am I dead? Cuz having to listen to you forever is kind of like my vision of hell. BUD Yeah, she's okay. RENA [weak] Matilda? BUD Back home where she belongs. RENA [sigh of relief] Not hell, then. SOUND CHAINS RENA What's with the— SOUND CHAINS RENA Shit. BUD Yeah, that. I guess I-uh kinda underestimated Willy-boy. RENA Is that that demon hunter? BUD [snort of laughter] Oh, him. Nah. That was all part of Willy's plan to get me off his case. RENA oh. The demon you were undermining. BUD Bingo! I love a bright dame. RENA And now he's got us both chained up in a dungeon? Great. WILLY [demonic sounding] Just what I was thinking! Muhahahahahahaha [evil laugh] RENA [undertone, to herself] Be vewwy vewwy quiet. [up] Wow. This is a swell party. WILLY You're only here because I'm curious what would make a mortal... collaborate with such a filthy maggot as Beelzebud. RENA You make it sound a lot more fun than it is. BUD Hey, hey! Willy, old boy-- WILLY [demon] You will call me Willial [will-LIE-ul]! [back normal] Don't think I don't know what you've been up to, behind my back, Beelzebud! BUD ahhh. A few short circuits. It's all in fun. Plus you got me back, but good - setting a popper on me. RENA [half a snort] Popper? BUD The hunter - [offhand] you know, you led him to me. RENA Yeah. Sorry bout that. WILLY I'm surprised to see you still up and around, Bud. BUD Believe it or not, I'm clean. RENA It's not like he just up and decided he wanted your crappy job, Willy. BUD [quiet] I really prefer my own crappy job. WILLY You should have kept your hands off my beeswax, then! RENA Oy vay. [quiet, to Bud] Can this guy actually do anything? To me, I mean? BUD [evasive] Not legitimately. RENA [up] Then maybe you'll back the fuck out of my face, elmer fudd, and let me go. BUD On the other hand he's already more or less kidmapped you, so who knows what else he's willing to do. RENA Shit. BUD Yeah, like anything a stupid mortal chick says is going to piss Willial off more than I already have. Hah! WILLY [suspicious] You're up to something. RENA Nah, just mouthing off. [whisper] Keep him talking. BUD So, Willy - Ooh! [snide] You kidnapped a human, what's the next step? Custodial interference? Stealing candy from a baby? WILLY I-I'm not sure. I mean, I haven't decided yet what all to do with you. For now, I'll let you stew. SOUND DOOR SLAMS RENA [sigh] Nice try. BUD [not quite lying] Try? RENA Yeah, whatever. BUD [beat] If we had cards, I play a mean Canasta. RENA Takes two decks. SOUND TAPPING FINGERS, WAITING SOUND DISTANT COMMOTION BUD Finally. Beez. Thought they'd never get here. RENA [surprised] You were expecting someone? BUD Waitaminute, you were? Oh, boy - this could be a serious case of overkill.... SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN RENA You ain't just whistling dixie. BENEDICT [breathing hard from exertion] Ok, this is not what I was expecting. RENA You got something for chains? BUD Uh, we might wanna wait-- RENA [suspicious] Why? INFERNIQUE [distant demony scream] Beelzebud! BUD Yeah. That. RENA Demon hunter - you, guy. BENDICT Benedict. RENA Right, like Shakespeare. I'm bad with names. BENDICT Let me get those chains-- RENA Quick! What's the penalty for illegal imprisonment of a human? INFERNIQUE [a little closer] Where is he? BUD It ain't much. He didn't hurt you or nothing. RENA Well? BENEDICT Something like a hundred years of hemorrhoids. I don't actually sentence-- RENA Wanna stick him with something worse? BUD [speculative] I like where this is going. BENEDICT I ...don't. MUSIC INFERNIQUE [roaring up] What did you do with him? WILLY You are in my domain, succubus! INFERNIQUE Insults? How dare you! BUD [off, pathetic] Ohhhhhh.... INFERNIQUE Out of my way! WILLY [surprised] What the hell? BUD [off, weak] Is that you, baby snakes? SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN WILLY [bewildred] But I didn't-- INFERNIQUE [incensed] Chained? BUD Oh, babe. I'm so glad to see you. Willy there whupped my fanny, but good. WILLY I-I-- RENA I think the popper is concussed. INFERNIQUE [amazed] Popper? WILLY [an octave higher] Popper? BUD You're gonna get us out of these, aren't you sweetie? RENA Wake up, dude! SOUND GENTLE SLAPPING TO TRY AND ROUSE HIM INFERNIQUE [speculative] You... chained a popper? WILLY I-I- He-- they-- INFERNIQUE Just nod your head, handsome. RENA [quiet] I'm hunting wabbits. BENEDICT [smothered snort of laughter] BUD Come on babe, leave Willy alone. Get me out of here. INFERNIQUE That's Willial, you little weasel. [laughs contemptuously] I think it's about time to trade up. WILLY I- uh- I- uh-- INFERNIQUE [very hot] There's nothing sexier than a tongue-tied demon. RENA [trying to sound upset but not getting it] After all Bud has done for you! BUD [grovelling] You can't just leave us here! INFERNIQUE Willy will let you go when he's good and ready, won't you? WILLY [frantic] Uh, Beelzebud? BUD Fine! Keep your job! Take my woman! You have everything! [big mock sob] SOUND DOOR SLAMS SHUT MUSIC SOUND MATILDA'S DEN SOUND WHOOSH OF ARRIVAL BENEDICT I honestly don't know which of you was worse, back there. RENA Emoting is not in my skill set. BUD Tell me about it. MATILDA You're back! RENA Yeah, it's all okay. MATILDA I thought-- RENA [strangely gentle] You know I always promised if I die I'd come right back and haunt you. MATILDA [sob of relief] BENEDICT Can we--? RENA Fuck off, will you guys? BUD I got this. SOUND WHOOSH MATILDA I was [hiccupy sob] I was so-- RENA I'm here. You're not alone. Maybe I should get that Benedict guy back - he owes us a pair of pants. MATILDA [laughs and cries] SOUND PHONE RINGS RENA Voice mail? MATILDA [much calmer] Voice mail. Yeah. JESSE [on voice mail] What did you do to my wife? All of a sudden she's laying down the law and saying she won't put up with me unless I toe the line! Man! She's even talking about us writing up some kind of contract! Are you even listening? SOUND BEEP END
Nu på våren är det dags för unghästarna att göra olika tester och för att reda ut vad som är vad är Camilla Axelsson tillbaka i podden. Camilla driver utbildningsstallet Stall Axelsson. Camilla var också med i avsnitt 96 av podden där vi pratar om inridning, men nu är det dags att prata om unghästtester. Camilla berättar vad som händer efter inridningen är klar fram tills det är dags för tre-årstestet. Hur man förbereder sin häst och vad som är viktigt att tänka på. Vi pratar också om Breeders och vad som händer efter detta fram till hästens fjärde år.
Nu på våren är det dags för unghästarna att göra olika tester och för att reda ut vad som är vad är Camilla Axelsson tillbaka i podden. Camilla driver utbildningsstallet Stall Axelsson. Camilla var också med i avsnitt 96 av podden där vi pratar om inridning, men nu är det dags att prata om unghästtester. Camilla berättar vad som händer efter inridningen är klar fram tills det är dags för tre-årstestet. Hur man förbereder sin häst och vad som är viktigt att tänka på. Vi pratar också om Breeders och vad som händer efter detta fram till hästens fjärde år.
Unghästen är nu 3 år på våren. Hur går man vidare med utbildningen? När börjar man hoppa in den med ryttare, hur ofta ska man träna och hur? I del 2 om den unga hästens utbildning fortsätter vi samtalet med de professionella unghästutbildarna Karin Engström och Anna-Clara Pettersson. De ger konkreta tips och vi diskuterar allt från hjälptyglar till nedsittning i trav eller ej. Häng med på ett lärorikt avsnitt! Användbar information om unghästutbildning hittar du här! Karins digitala föreläsning om unghästutbildning för SWB: https://swb.org/medlemsutbildningar/ klicka på ”Säker och hållbar unghästutbildning” Karins webkurs ”säker inridning på hästens villkor”: https://equitrain.se/kurser/unghastutbildning/ Anna-Claras – Equiqlaris hemsida: http://equiqlaris.se/ SWBs filmer ”Hur och varför ska du visa din häst på unghästtest”: https://swb.org/medlemsutbildningar/ Info om hur du visar din häst vid hand: https://swb.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Att_visa_hast_vid_hand_2020.pdf Information om SWBs unghästbedömningar: https://swb.org/unghastbedomningar/
An den Zonser Hörspieltagen im Oktober 2021 wurde von den öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunk-Anstalten aus Deutschland, Österreich und der Schweiz die SRF-Produktion «Obsi» von Heinz Stalder als bestes Mundart Hörspiel des Jahres prämiert. Aus diesem Anlass wiederholt SRF 1 Stalders Hörspiel. «Obsi» basiert auf dem Theaterstück «Fischbach – oder wie Unghüür us Amerika» von Heinz Stalder, das 1981 in Bern uraufgeführt wurde. Es ist die Geschichte einer Bauernfamilie, die sich im Kampf gegen den Fortschritt und den eigenen Zerfall in seltsamen Ritualen verliert. Vierzig Jahre später entwickelt Heinz Stalder die Geschichte weiter: Befragt von ihrer Enkelin, erinnert sich eine alte Frau, dass damals ein Autor ein Theaterstück über ihre Familie geschrieben und sie zu einer Hauptfigur gemacht hat. Heinz Stalder wirft in «Obsi» einen neuen Blick auf seine ursprüngliche Theaterarbeit. Er hinterfragt den Entstehungsprozess und ermöglicht seinen Figuren ein Comeback. Mit: Rahel Hubacher (Enkelin), Marlise Fischer (Grossmutter), Hanspeter Müller-Drossaart (der Alte), Nils Althaus (der Junge), Walter Sigi Arnold (Gisler), Heinz Stalder (Autor) Musik: Elia Rediger (Komposition, Elektronik, diverse Instrumente), Tobias Preisig (Violine) - Tontechnik: Mirjam Emmenegger - Dramaturgie: Reto Ott - Regie: Päivi Stalder - Produktion: SRF 2019 - Dauer: 50'
Statistik är spännande och kan ge oss massor av information om hästarnas förärvning. Men vad ska man egentligen tänka på när man läser om resultaten från olika bedömningar och avelsindexen? Gustaf och Emma pratar om resultaten från unghästbedömningarna 2021 och om de senaste avelsindexen. Tips! Lyssna gärna på våra tidigare avsnitt 26 och 27 om du vill veta mer om avelsindex och hur avelsindex räknas ut! Sammanfattning av resultat vid årets unghästbedömningar finns som länkad fil på: https://swb.org/unghastbedomningar/ Information om avelsindex och listorna över årets index för hingstar finns som länkade filer på: https://swb.org/avelsindex/
Holiday cheer and joy is shared by all as the cavepeople UNGH their way to a thrilling conclusion of our Og: Unearthed Edition one shot!Album Artwork by Trevor @cosmicamazingAudio Production by Mike from the Tales from the Glass-Guarded World podcastFeaturing:Shubert as the GMCristina as BobobaJessica as WhamMike as GrobSupport the Show:Patreon | EtsyContact Us:Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Discord | Email | hobcast.comMusic by:Mike, DM of the Tales From The Glass Guarded World Podcast tftggw.comLicensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
I det här avsnittet pratar vi med de professionella unghästutbildarna Karin Engström och Anna-Clara Pettersson om hur man på bästa sätt, på hästens villkor, utbildar sin unghäst från 2,5 års ålder fram till Unghästtestet. Användbar information om unghästutbildning hittar du här! Karins webkurs ”säker inridning på hästens villkor”: https://equitrain.se/kurser/unghastutbildning/ Anna-Claras, Equiqlaris hemsida: http://equiqlaris.se/ Karins digitala föreläsning om unghästutbildning för SWB: https://swb.org/medlemsutbildningar/ klicka på ”Säker och hållbar unghästutbildning” SWBs filmer ”Hur och varför ska du visa din häst på unghästtest”: https://swb.org/medlemsutbildningar/
Här är ett klipp från intervjun med Mattias Djuse i avsnitt 106. Mattias berättar om stallets kraftiga fokus på unghästar om träningsverksamheten och ger oss sin syn på skötarbristen. Programledare: Jörgen Forsberg, Anders Malmrot och Markus Myron
Unghästspecialisten Mattias Djuse gästar Solvalla Podcast för att berätta om hur det ser ut i stallet. 100 hästar i träning och hela 83 av dem är tre år eller yngre. Vi får status på några av de mest namnkunniga travarna och tar även ett generellt snack runt två-årstävlande. Lacke överraskar med sitt julpynt och bjuder som vanligt på luringar, och Jörgen smittar av sig till hela studion med sann hästägarglädje. Gäster: Mattias Djuse och Lacke. Programledare: Jörgen Forsberg, Anders Malmrot och Markus Myron
Vi fortsätter vår spaning från höstens unghästfinaler! Det blir diskussion om fälttävlans-breeders, Unghäst-VM i fälttävlan och Unghäst-VM i hoppning med vår gäst, uppfödaren Camilla Ericson som varit på alla tre evenemangen. Fotograf: Camilla Ericson och Josefine Andersson Resultat Breeeders Trophy fälttävlan Resultat Unghäst-VM fälttävlan Resultat Unghäst-VM i hoppning
Efter ett långt sommaruppehåll klämmer vi i med ett extra långt avsnitt där vi summerar betäckningssäsongen 2021, OS ur ett avelsperspektiv och en spaning från Unghäst-VM i dressyr.
[warning - mature themes and explicit violence] A surreal Q&A session reveals the workings of a victim's mind. Cast List Marnie - Julie Hoverson Doc - Julie Hoverson Jerry - Brandon O'Brien Momma - Risa Torres Harold - Mr. Synyster Deputy Fred - Joel Harvey Little Girl - Krystal Baker Little Boy - Marhya Post Grampa - Rick Lewis Music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Photos: Alan Bridges (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com) "What kind of a place is it? Don't you know where you are?" *********************************************************** Where are You Now? This is a weird ass episode. I wrote this very deliberately in a stream of consciousness style, probably inspired by a weird dream, but I don't remember specifically. I did write the entire script in roughly one sitting, then cast and recorded it immediately - I wanted to see if I could make an entire episode in a single week, which I basically did. The most challenging effect in this was throwing the chiffoniere down the stairs. I actually have a sort of sequel - more in tone than using the same character(s), obviously - in mind, and may do it someday. A big part of the idea for this was to make the vast bulk of the dialog mine, so I didn't have to get too much out of other people, thus making it a quicker recording turnaround. SPOILER ALERT!!! I'm going to explain, sort of, what this episode is and what it means, at the end of the transcript, below. A lot of info will be there, since most of my memories of making this are tied up in why I wrote what I wrote. *********************************************************** WHERE ARE YOU NOW? Cast: Olivia Doc (F/40+), german, sounds like shrink Marnie (F/20), hysterical young woman Harold (M/30), mush mouthed freak Fred (M/30), a crooked deputy Old Man (M/senile) Creepy Little Girl (F/10) Creepy Little Boy (M/10) Momma (F/30ish), Mrs. Cleaver - with cleaver Jerry (M/20), Marnie's dead boyfriend. OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Don't you know where you are? MUSIC SCENE 1. SOUND A SLOW CHORD, WHICH STAYS UNTIL NOTED DOC Where are you now? MARNIE [startled awake] What? DOC Can you hear my voice, Marnie? MARNIE Yes. DOC Where are you now? MARNIE [slightly panicked] I - I don't know. DOC Tell me what you see. MARNIE I see a room. DOC Are there people in the room? MARNIE [fear] Yes! DOC You are safe, Marnie. Calm down. Now tell me what you see. MARNIE [calm, almost robotic] I see five people sitting at the table. DOC Are you sitting with them? MARNIE No, I'm in the corner. DOC Do they know you're there? MARNIE [ominous] Oh, yes. DOC Tell me what they look like. MARNIE There's a very old man, a small boy, a girl who looks a bit older than the boy, a police officer, and a very large man with a bag over his head. DOC Is there food on the table? MARNIE No. It's not here yet. DOC Good. Tell me one thing about the little girl. MARNIE Her eyes can suck your soul. DOC Good. And the old man? MARNIE He has a scar on his leg that aches when it rains. DOC Good. Has the food arrived yet? MARNIE The one with the bag is named Harold. DOC Please answer only the questions I ask you, Marnie. MARNIE [frightened, small] I'm sorry. DOC I forgive you. MARNIE I love you. DOC That was not the question. MARNIE [trying to remember] Um. Um. The food! No. Still no food. DOC Good. Are you comfortable? MARNIE [lying, almost a whisper] Yessss. DOC Very good. Tell me about where you are sitting. MARNIE I'm in the corner. DOC Are you in a chair? Look down. MARNIE It's a chair with wheels, and straps. DOC Straps? Are you strapped in? MARNIE [breathing hard, getting louder and louder] Yes - my hands are - hands are - I can move them, but the leather cuffs - like movies about crazy people! DOC Are you crazy? MARNIE [almost a wail] No! DOC Can you control yourself, Marnie? MARNIE [a couple of gasping breaths, then quickly] Yes! DOC I can help you. MARNIE [wail] No! No! [gasp, then tight but controlled] No. I'm all right. DOC For now. MARNIE I feel... peachy. DOC [beat] Your hands are restrained. What else? MARNIE There's a strap around my chest, and I can feel one around my legs. DOC Do the people talk? MARNIE Yes. Some. They're waiting for someone. DOC Someone? Or the food? MARNIE [almost hysterical] I don't know! DOC What do they say? Tell me exactly. MARNIE I'll try-- DOC [still even and calm] Trying isn't going to cut it, missy. MARNIE [noisy gulp] DOC I know you can do it. MARNIE [sob] The man with the bag doesn't talk at all. DOC Harold? MARNIE Yes, Harold. DOC And? MARNIE The policeman says-- MUSIC FADES OUT, NO OTHER TRANSITION SCENE 2. FRED You shoulda seen her! Jumped clean over the fence. BOY I can do that. OLD MAN Pancakes. FRED You can't 'cause - 'cause you're a little butterball. BOY I'm magic. GIRL [pronouncing] You are a shoe. SOUND CLATTER OF SPOON DROPPED ON PLATE OLD MAN Pancakes! Pan! Cakes! FRED [panicky, trying to calm him] Shh! Shh! Pancakes, yes. It's all coming. Shh. Clouds. [dropping to a whisper] Little white fluffy clouds. OLD MAN [drawn out whisper] Pancakesssss. Pancakes. SOUND MOMENT OF SILENCE, THEN SCENE 3. MUSIC COMES IN WITH A CHORD DOC [sigh] You know what happens when you lie to me. MARNIE [resigned groan] I'm not lying. DOC Pancakes? MARNIE [almost a sob] Yes. DOC The food - is it there yet? MARNIE [sharp gasp, then frightened] It's coming! DOC Good. Let's move forward. Who brings the food? MARNIE [awe, fear] Momma. DOC Tell me. MARNIE [mounting fear] Perfect. Plastic. Pearls. Each hair in line, like sweet little soldiers. DOC She is carrying--? MARNIE [rising fear] She ...has a cart. There is a covered dish. DOC What are you wearing? MARNIE [snapped back] What? DOC I ask the questions. MARNIE I'm sorry! DOC What are you wearing. Look down. MARNIE Oh. [beat] T-shirt, jeans - I can feel ... sneakers. DOC And--? MARNIE What? DOC [warning] And--? MARNIE My clothes? They're... torn up - I think I was in a fight. DOC [calm again] Are you injured? MARNIE [beat] My ankle hurts. I'm scratched up. My... head... DOC [avid] Is there blood? MARNIE I - DOC [avid] Is there blood? MARNIE I - I don't think it's mine. DOC Tell me who then. MARNIE [on a long sigh] Jerry. DOC How? MARNIE [shocked] I found him in the barn. He was flopped over the edge of the ...hayloft - I thought he was dead. There was blood everywhere. [starting to sob] Dripping all over me. DOC What did you-- MARNIE [interrupting, still sobbing] Then he - he moaned. MUSIC FADES OUT SCENE 4. JERRY [very weak] Marnie! MARNIE [whispering] Jerry! Oh, god - Jerry! SOUND CREAKING OF LADDER JERRY Help... me.... MARNIE Here, let me move you - [grunt as she drags him] JERRY [moans, trying to keep quiet] MARNIE Oh, god. JERRY It's bad. MARNIE I think so. It's too dark. JERRY [gasping, in agony] No. It was the kid. You have to get out of here! MARNIE But you-- JERRY I ... I'm not going anywhere ... you gotta go and get help! MARNIE Where? JERRY Just get the hell out! The woods-- MARNIE [smothered gasping sob] JERRY [whisper] Shit! HAROLD 3,4 shut the door...? SOUND BARN DOOR CREAKS OPEN MARNIE [smothered gasping sob] SOUND SILENCE, THEN SCENE 5. MUSIC CUTS IN DOC Is that when they took you in? MARNIE No. Jerry distracted him. DOC Who? MARNIE Harold. DOC [satisfied, smug] Harold. MARNIE [sobbing] After I jumped out the window, I heard Jerry scream. DOC [warning] Did I ask? MARNIE No? DOC You don't sound very sure. MARNIE [quick, panicky] No. You didn't ask. I'm sorry. DOC I think you need a reminder-- MARNIE Please! I remember! [long beat, then] I... love you. DOC Pancakes. MARNIE Pancakes? DOC Is the food on the table? MARNIE [long shaky sigh of relief] Yes. DOC Where did you sleep? MARNIE [blindsided] What? DOC Where did you sleep? MARNIE I didn't.... Oh, I was... knocked out. The food‑‑? DOC Please try and keep up. When were you knocked out? MARNIE That was later - after... Jerry. DOC Who did it? MARNIE Harold, I said it was Harold. DOC That knocked you out. MARNIE Oh, no. He did Jerry. DOC You're not following. Let's have a break. MARNIE [long wail] No!!! SOUND ELECTRIC HUM MARNIE Umumumumum. [jittery series of hums, like being electrocuted] MUSIC OUT SOUND HEARTBEAT SCENE 6. AMBIANCE WOODS, CHEERFUL SOUND CRUNCHING OF WALKING JERRY Marnie? MARNIE Yeah? JERRY Uh, This camping trip isn't too bad, eh? I mean, I know you didn't want to-- MARNIE [sweet] It's not too bad. Gloria had to beg me to get me to come, but... It's OK. JERRY I mean, what can you say against nature, right? Fresh air, secluded lake. Perfect for... skinny dipping? MARNIE I brought a suit. JERRY Ah... It'll be cool. MARNIE Probably freezing - that's a glacier-fed lake. But, yes, it will be fun. JERRY Good. You don't mind ... Gloria being kinda busy all the time? MARNIE Oh, you noticed? [laughs] She and Tim haven't stopped fooling around since we got here. MUSIC SUDDENLY CUTS IN SCENE 7. DOC Better now? MARNIE [gasping, shuddering, trying to force words out coherently] Better. Yes. Of course. DOC Good. Let's continue. MARNIE [snorty sob, then deep breath] All right. DOC Jerry died. MARNIE [almost a sob] Yes. DOC You loved him. MARNIE I think so. DOC You don't know? MARNIE I - I liked him, but we were just getting to know... each... other? [afraid she said something wrong, gasping snorty sobs] DOC [beat, then slightly disdainful] How sweet. MARNIE [she calms a bit] DOC Did you screw him? MARNIE No! DOC Of course not - pure sweet innocent you. MARNIE I-- I don't-- DOC [casual] Shut up. MARNIE [hiccuping gasp] DOC Where is Gloria? MARNIE Gloria? [starting to cry] She's my best friend. DOC Was that the question? MARNIE She... she... Um [trying to remember] she's dead? DOC [sigh, tsks] MARNIE No - no! She's - was - in the van. DOC Very good. [beat] When did you find her? MARNIE Uh - after the barn. I was trying to get away. [suddenly remembering] Jerry gave me the keys. DOC Good old Jerry. Go on. MARNIE I ran to the van, and Gloria and Tim ... were... [sobs] DOC Please be specific. MARNIE [through sobs] They were in the middle of - you know-- DOC Sex? MARNIE Yes. They were together, and someone had cut off... both... their... heads...! DOC [Tsks] MARNIE The heads were lined up next to them... like they were watching. DOC Charming. MARNIE Checking their progress. DOC Has the food arrived? MARNIE [gasp, stops herself from speaking, then dead calm] Yes. Momma is in the room. DOC What does she do? MARNIE [getting agitated] She opens the dish. DOC What is in the dish? MARNIE [almost incapable of speaking] Sssteam. DOC Look down at your lap. MARNIE [snort, hiccup] Yes. DOC What do you see? MARNIE My knees. Blood. The carpet. I'm glad the blood is all tacky, so it won't drip and ruin the carpet. They would be so angry. DOC Are they talking? MARNIE Yes. DOC Don't look. Just speak the words. MARNIE Momma says-- MUSIC OUT SCENE 8. MOMMA Three cheers for the founder of the feast. FRED Hip hip hooray-- [tapers off, when he realizes no one else is with him] Oh. LITTLE GIRL Can I eat the tail? LITTLE BOY Pancakes. OLD MAN PAN CAKES! FRED You just had to set him off! Didn't you? HAROLD [quietly] 1-2 buckle my shoe. OLD MAN PanCAKES! Lovely golden brown. MOMMA Nothing like a nice dinner together. SCENE 9. DOC Are there empty chairs? MARNIE No. They are all here. DOC What about your chair? MARNIE I'm in it. DOC Are you? Look back. MARNIE I'm strapped in. DOC You must have got free. MARNIE Yes. I-- [gasps and catches herself] DOC What? MARNIE I'm sorry. That wasn't the question. DOC Good girl. SOUND ELECTRICITY MARNIE [hums and groans with the jolts] SOUND HEARTBEAT SCENE 10. AMBIANCE OUTSIDE, PLEASANT WOODS JERRY Don't worry about it. It was probably just a hiker or something. MARNIE [mildly worried] But he looked so weird. His face was like a puzzle. JERRY It was just the bushes. MARNIE I know. JERRY I bet it was the weird guy we saw on the road on the way in. You know, the one that just stood there and stared as we drove past. You know. Now, we all agreed this weekend is for fun. SOUND SPLASH MARNIE What was that? JERRY What? MARNIE The splash? JERRY Wow, you need some serious relaxation. MARNIE But I heard a splash, and -- Something wet? JERRY Nonsense. [fading out] It's just last night's rain. DOC [whispered voice, very spooky] Marnie. MARNIE Jerry! I know you must have heard that! JERRY Marnie, you're making yourself into a basket case. There's nobody for miles around! It's perfectly safe. MARNIE But that voice-- DOC [quick echoey whisper] Marnie. MARNIE It knows my name! DOC Wake up! SOUND WOODS VANISH SCENE 11. MARNIE [Crying] Why can't you just leave me? DOC Now, that wouldn't do either of us any good, would it? MARNIE I want to stay there. With my friends. DOC And die? MARNIE [hiccups sobs, then uncertain] Yes. DOC I don't think that's quite true. MARNIE Yes. DOC You fought so hard to get here. MARNIE I walked on broken glass. DOC Poor toes. Poor little piggies. MARNIE [resigned] What do you want? DOC I ask the questions. MARNIE [sigh] Fine. Go on. DOC I also give the orders. MARNIE [beat, sniff] I'm ready. DOC Maybe you can learn the rules. [beat] Very good. Where are you now? MARNIE Right here. DOC Are you? MARNIE [unsure] Yes. DOC Close your eyes and when you open them, you will see clouds. MARNIE Clouds? DOC Do you see them? MARNIE I'm afraid. DOC Open your eyes. MARNIE Clouds. SCENE 12. OLD MAN k-k-k-k-ake. LITTLE GIRL Burn it. MOMMA Dig in! FRED Again? LITTLE BOY There's a face in my soup. SCENE 13. MARNIE [screams] DOC Don't backslide. MARNIE [screams and sobs] DOC [tsks] And we were making such good progress. [sigh] SOUND SINGLE SHORT JOLT OF ELECTRICITY MARNIE [gasps to a stop] DOC Just right. Thought I was going to lose you. MARNIE I can't look! Not at that! DOC Have to toughen you up. MARNIE I can't-- DOC Look down. MARNIE My lap. DOC And in your lap? MARNIE Hands. DOC Restrained? MARNIE Yes. DOC Really? MARNIE [unsure] Yes? DOC Then how will you escape? MARNIE I... can't. DOC That is not the right answer. MARNIE Please help me! DOC Are they very tight? MARNIE No. But if I get loose, they'll see. DOC But if you don't get loose while they eat, you will end up in the clouds. MARNIE Pancakes. DOC Precisely. Can you pull loose? MARNIE I have to brace it against my leg. DOC Good girl. Now you're thinking. Describe the room. MARNIE The table-- DOC I know about the table. Where are the windows and doors? MARNIE The windows are steamed over. DOC Doors? MARNIE Momma came from the kitchen. To my right. [slowly, carefully looking around] There's a door beside me. Over my left shoulder. DOC Watch them. Tell me what they're saying while you get your hands free. MARNIE I can't-- DOC Do you want it again? MARNIE No! [beat, breathing harshly] I can't look at them. DOC Listen. MUSIC SCENE 14. LITTLE BOY I'm not hungry. LITTLE GIRL I'll eat yours. I want to grow up big and strong. OLD GUY [mmm mmm mmm - chewing noisily] HAROLD Five, six. FRED Tasty, momma. As usual. MOMMA Oh, you! MARNIE Almost. DOC Talk to me, not them. MARNIE It hurts. DOC Life is pain. MOMMA Clean your plate, Hun. FRED He's a little butterball. MOMMA [cold as ice] That's not nice. FRED Sorry, Momma. Sorry! I love you. MOMMA Did I ask you? Harold - look at this mess. HAROLD Lay them straight? MOMMA You can take him and hose him off. FRED Yes, momma. MOMMA And soak that pillowcase. [cutesy] Can't have my good linens all stained. FRED Can I finish eating first? MOMMA [cold] I don't know, can you? FRED May I? MOMMA [sweetness] Of course, dear. MUSIC SCENE 15. MARNIE My right hand is free. DOC Don't struggle too much. These buckles are tough for a reason. MARNIE I think the one with the bag-- DOC Harold. MARNIE --is watching me, but I can't tell. DOC Does he say anything? MARNIE No... DOC Once you get your wrists free, what will you do? MARNIE The strap around my chest-- DOC And your legs? MARNIE I don't think that one is very tight. DOC Don't underestimate it. MARNIE Why are you helping me? DOC [kindly] I ask the questions. MARNIE Right. Sorry. DOC No need. Who am I? MARNIE What? I mean, I don't understand. I don't know. DOC I think you do. MARNIE No. I don't know why I'm here. DOC But you're not. MARNIE Not what? DOC Is your wrist free? MARNIE Yes. DOC Move your hands slowly to the buckle, then quickly unhook it. MARNIE Slowly. DOC Cats see movement. MARNIE Rods or cones? I forget. DOC Clouds. Watch the clouds. Unhook the strap. MARNIE Freeze. They're looking. DOC Don't move. Let them forget. MUSIC SCENE 16. FRED Should we feed HER? LITTLE GIRL Throw something at her. MOMMA A night without supper will do her good. Take Harold - there's a good boy. FRED Yes, momma. LITTLE BOY I want a finger. Can I take a finger? MOMMA If you're good. I'll save one for you. LITTLE BOY Good as goat. OLD MAN Gold. Gold is good. Golden brown. Pancakes.... k-k-cake! MOMMA Yes, popsy. All good. MUSIC SCENE 17. DOC And now? MARNIE They're looking away. Maybe they will leave me. DOC Not if they see your wrists are loose. Quick - choose. MARNIE Choose what? DOC Unbuckle and run or pretend you're still secure and wait. MARNIE My ankle hurts. DOC Then sit. MARNIE I'll put my hands back. DOC We will see. MARNIE D'you think they will? DOC I can't see the future. MARNIE Isn't this a memory? DOC Is it? MARNIE Where did I go when I got free? DOC I ask the questions. MARNIE But I don't remember. DOC Take it one moment at a time. Who am I? MARNIE A doctor? DOC Medical? MARNIE No. DOC Ah - now you're thinking. Let's get through this. MARNIE They've left the room. DOC You are alone? MARNIE The old man is still here. They'll come back for him. DOC What can you do about that? MARNIE I'll run. DOC He'll yell like a klaxon. MARNIE I've got the buckle undone. Now my legs. DOC Why don't you kill him? MARNIE What? DOC I ask the questions. MUSIC FADES TO "ROOM TONE" SCENE 18. SOUND STUMBLING FOOTSTEPS MARNIE I'm sorry - I thought I didn't hear you right. You said to-- DOC There are always pancakes in heaven. MARNIE Open the gates and let him [exertion] IN! OLD GUY Oof! [dying noises] SOUND SQUISH OF KNIFE INTO FLESH, GUSH OF BLOOD DOC Is there another knife? MARNIE I have it-- SOUND METAL COVER FALLS TO FLOOR MARNIE [wail] No! DOC Stop. MARNIE [quick] I'm sorry. The platter! Oh, god! DOC Steam. Clouds. MARNIE Jerry! DOC Don't look. MARNIE I can't -- DOC Jerry is gone. Do it for him. MARNIE [hissing whisper] Yesss. DOC Knife? MARNIE Cleaver. DOC Nice. MARNIE [turning a bit gleeful] Cleaver. Momma. Kitchen. DOC Sounds like a plan. MARNIE Thank you. DOC I love you. MARNIE [serious] That means a lot. SCENE 19. SOUND KITCHEN DOOR SWINGS OPEN DOC Keep down. MOMMA Hmm? What? SOUND HIGH HEEL FOOTSTEPS MOMMA Who's playing games? MARNIE [whispered] Come just a little closer. SOUND A COUPLE MORE FOOTSTEPS MOMMA Hello? DOC Now! MARNIE Ungh! SOUND KNIFE CUTS NYLONS, LEG. MOMMA [screams] SOUND BODY COLLAPSES, SHOE SCRABBLES ON TILE FLOOR, BLOOD SPURTS DOC Neatly done. Hamstring. Quick or slow? MARNIE No time. Ungh! SOUND KNIFE GOES IN AGAIN MOMMA [gurgling, choking] SOUND HANDS SKITTER ACROSS TILES, THEN FLOP AND DROP DOC [long sigh] Such a pretty color. MARNIE Looks good on her. DOC Four to go. MARNIE Jerry said it was the kid who... [almost breaks] ...got ...him. DOC You're finally taking this all seriously. SOUND THUMP OVERHEAD MARNIE How many stairs would the house have? SOUND DOOR OPENS A CRACK DOC [kindly] I ask the questions. You'll have to count them. MARNIE I should see if there's something longer. DOC Tablecloths can cloud the issue. MARNIE You and your clouds. SOUND FEET COMING DOWN THE STAIRS DOC six, five, four-- MARNIE Three, two one --- SOUND DOOR STARTS TO OPEN, THEN IS SLAMMED SHUT, BODY FALLS FRED [yell, groan] DOC Full point. SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN AGAIN FRED Momma? What are you doing--? MARNIE I ask the questions. DOC I love you. FRED I think you broke my-- urk! SOUND KNIFE PLUNGES INTO THROAT FRED [gurgling as he dies] DOC It's quite warm, isn't it? MARNIE Yes. DOC Hot. MARNIE Boiling. DOC [concerned] Steam? MARNIE [dismissive] Clouds. DOC [satisfied] Yesss. Time to go hunting. MARNIE Rods or cones? DOC Sticks and stones. MARNIE [chuckles] SCENE 20. SOUND CAREFUL FOOTSTEPS UP THE STAIRS SOUND CREAK, FEET STOP DOC Steady. Where are you now? MARNIE Almost to the top. DOC What do you see? MARNIE Hallway. Doors. DOC And behind you? MARNIE Just the stairs. DOC [stern] Did you look, or just guess? MARNIE [panicky] Sorry! I'll - I'll look. It's stairs. The door at the bottom is shut. DOC Did you shut it? MARNIE [almost a wail] I don't remember! DOC Calm down. One, two buckle my shoe-- HAROLD [off, calling] Three four, shut the door-- MARNIE [quiet, calming herself] Five six. Pick. Up. Sticks. DOC Harold is looking too. MARNIE [calm again] Yes. DOC Don't forget the children. MARNIE [breaks a little] Jerry DOC Yah, dear Jerry. HAROLD [coming closer] Seven? eight? Lay them straight? MARNIE [very quietly] Marco! DOC [chuckles nastily, then] Here in the hall, or one of the rooms? MARNIE Here. Here I have someplace to go-- SOUND DOOR WRENCHED OPEN AT BOTTOM OF STAIRS HAROLD Nine, ten - a big fat hen! DOC What will you do now? SOUND FOOTSTEPS COMING UP STAIRS SOUND GRIND OF FURNITURE BEING MOVED MARNIE [exerting herself] No one ever fights them. That's why. DOC What was the question? HAROLD Eleven, Twelve - dig and delve. MARNIE [exerting] Why do they always win? DOC Excellent. MARNIE I love you. DOC Of course. SOUND GRIND OF FURNITURE ENDS, HEAVY SOMETHING GOES THUMPING DOEN THE STAIRS MARNIE Hah! HAROLD [scream of outrgae] DOC Don't get too full of yourself-- SOUND STAB MARNIE [gasp of pain] LITTLE GIRL [flat] You broke the chiffonier. DOC It's low. You'll live. For a while. Kill her. MARNIE She's just a kid! SOUND SHUFFLING FOOTSTEPS BACKING UP, SMALL CHILD FOOTSTEPS STALKING, INTERMITTENT DRIPPING DOC You do not ask the questions! MARNIE [meek and in pain] No. I'm sorry! LITTLE GIRL We could have played. [tsks] SOUND KNIVES SHARPENING MARNIE You hurt me! LITTLE GIRL If I didn't, Harold would just have to. MARNIE I- I can't! DOC No time for breaks now. Give or take. [beat, solemn] I love you. MARNIE I'm sorry. SOUND MARNIE DASHES FORWARD MARNIE Ung! SOUND PICKS UP GIRL AND TOSSES HER DOWN THE STAIRS LITTLE GIRL [noises of indignation as she falls] SOUND THUMPS AND BUMPS DOC [whispered] No breaks. MARNIE I'm... hurt. SOUND STICKY NOISE DOC You should go home. SOUND [OFF] DOOR SLAMS OPEN MARNIE Harold! DOC In here! MARNIE Aah! HAROLD [incoherent high pitched scream] SOUND BODY SLAMS AGAINST DOOR, DOOR SLAMS OPEN, BODY TUMBLES INTO ROOM. MARNIE SCOOTCHES AWAY FROM DOOR. SCENE 21. SOUND MARNIE SCRAMBLES UP TO HER FEET DOC Out the window. MARNIE [panting heavily] SOUND FOOTSTEPS DRAG ACROSS THE ROOM, DRIPPING. SOUND POUNDING ON THE WINDOW MARNIE It won't open. DOC It is glass. MARNIE [long gasping breath, then] ungh! SOUND WINDOW SHATTERS DOC Out! MARNIE But I can't see-- DOC You can see what's in here. MARNIE [scream as she jumps] SOUND ELECTRIC NOISES SCENE 22. DOC Where are you now? AMBIANCE NIGHTTIME, OUTSIDE MARNIE I'm on the ground. What should I do? DOC [rueful] You don't ask the questions. MARNIE Zap me again. DOC It's much too late for that. Why aren't you running? MARNIE I think I'm broken. DOC Will that stop you? MARNIE I don't care any more. DOC Are you absolutely sure? SOUND DOOR BANGS OPEN, OFF MARNIE [crying, crawling] DOC Is it bad? MARNIE Yes. DOC I am sorry. MARNIE I know. HAROLD [howling] DOC I love you. LITTLE BOY [off] There she goes! HAROLD [howling] SOUND CHAINSAW REVS DOC Where are you now? MARNIE In deep shit. DOC Where? MARNIE Out back. SOUND HEAVY FEET RUN ACROSS GRAVEL, COMING ON DOC Where are you going? SOUND BODY DROPS MARNIE [muffled, crying] Nowhere. DOC Nowhere? MARNIE [panting, crying a little] I can't. My leg. SOUND ROAR OF CHAINSAW GETS CLOSER DOC What do you want? MARNIE How can you ask that? DOC It's my job. MARNIE [beat] Jerry-- DOC But Jerry's-- MARNIE [sob] Yes! DOC Very well. Let's take that break. SOUND ELECTRIC HUM MARNIE Umumum SOUND HEARTBEAT SCENE 23. AMB NICEY WOODS SOUND FOOTSTEPS JERRY [teasing] What took you so long? MARNIE [bright] Sorry. Got a little caught up. JERRY Is there anything wrong? MARNIE No, Not anymore. JERRY Wanna go down to the lake? MARNIE More than anything. SOUND FOOTSTEPS IN LEAVES SOUND ECHOEY, DISTANT - CHAINSAW, MARNIE'S SCREAMS CLOSER OLIVIA Now that you know how to find us, you'll have to come back. Maybe next week? Don't be a stranger - we have enough of those already... *********************************************************** The "Truth": This story is going on inside the disturbed mind of a victim of a "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" type event. Her boyfriend and other friends were killed by this creepy family of cannibals, and she was captured and chained to a chair. At first it sounds like she is being psychoanalyzed after the fact, but eventually it becomes clear that this is not "after" anything, she is still stuck in the events she is describing. The "Doctor" voice is, in fact, inside her head, and seems to represent her logic or her survival instinct - keeping her head clear and focused while the rest of her is busy panicking. For example, the voice guides her to look around, to avoid things that are disturbing, and to focus on getting herself free. When all else fails, Doc "shocks" Marnie into a faint, where she experiences a pleasant flashback/dream to calm her down before returning to reality. To add to the dreamlike atmosphere of the story, and the connectedness of the two, the voices of Marnie and Doc are both played by me, and rotate - moving across the soundscape to trade places - very slowly throughout the episode. At the end, when there is no remaining hope, Marnie begs Doc for the shock - so she can be unconscious and "in a better place" when they ultimately kill her - and Doc kindly allows it.
I dagens avsnitt pratar vi om Focus bockningar under uteritter, om några konstiga kommentarer vi fått på vår Youtubekanal och grottar också ner oss lite om algoritmer på Youtube och Instagram. Vi pratar återigen om nosgrimmor och också om hur fräsch och fin Boppis har blivit nu det senaste. Pappa verkar sugen på att utöka hästfamiljen med ytterligare en häst. Vi får se hur det blir med den saken...Ni hittar oss på Instagram: @systrarnaelfstrand @emmaelfstrand @annaelfstrand Vår Youtubekanal: https://www.youtube.com/user/EmmaElfstrandVår webshop med häst- och ryttarartiklar: https://hasthuset.se/shop/frontpage.html See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Every now and then I sit down to prepare an episode of this amazing podcast and go through all the trappings that encapsulate the perfect writing scenario. I decide on the restaurant, I locate the desirable seat, which has is preferably a comfy booth with plenty of room to spread out my stuff, order the food, then get to writing. On most occasions, I’ve already decided what I’m going to write about and have become sufficiently submerged in the goo of mental hype so that when I break out the blue tooth keyboard and see that it will turn on despite my constantly forgetting to change the battery that was put in it five years ago, I’m able to immediately go to town on the story. Sometimes, though, it doesn’t work out so easily. Sometimes I can’t decide where I want to eat and drive around aimlessly, looking at restaurant signs, going, Nope. Nope. Nope. Ungh uh. Never. Nyet. Nine. Maybe ... ehhhh ... Nope. And that just puts me in a foul temper, which usually makes the mental hype goo stinky. And then there are times like this one, when I see that a dining room is BACK OPEN since the pandemic started and I shout to the rooftops, THERE! ORDER ALL THE THINGS AND EAT THEM INSIDE LIKE A STARVED CARNIVORE! Unfortunately, I got so overwhelmed with the thought of eleven herbs and spices being devoured in their own confines that I left my bottle of fresh mental hype goo on the kitchen table with the laundry that needs to be folded and hung. Lucky for me, I keep a running list of topics on my phone for just such a scenario and I started to skim over them while my mashed potatoes cooled. Nope. Nope. Nope. Ungh uh. Never. Nyet. Nine. Maybe ... ehhhhh ... nope. But the I saw it ... there at the bottom of the list. The Bin Store! I’m Michael Blackston and I’m about to fill your in on one of the latest obsessions that fills at least an hour of week of my Funny Messy Life. _________________________ It started with a man in my church - a man my daddy worked with, before he retired, at the Georgia National Guard. It was before the pandemic started and nobody thought anything about rummaging after strangers through big, wooden bins full of items that were returned to retailers and had now been loaded into a truck and dumped out for sale at enormous discounts. The man from my church caught me on the way out after the service and said, “Tell your daddy to quit going to the bin store. He don’t need no more crap.” He was joking around, of course. It was his way of telling me to say “hey” to my daddy’nem. But I was intrigued and I asked him what he was talking about. He went on to explain to me that the bin store was a new place that had opened up[ in the building where Family Dollar used to be. He told me how it worked and that he saw my daddy in there all the time. The next time I saw my dad, I asked him about it ... after I told him Bill said “hey”. Dad’s eyes grew large and filled with what you might describe as unbridled whimsy as he dug around in his own head, like a child recalling the first time they saw the castle at the center of Magic Kingdom. My dad’s head is quite the realm filled with glass and clay and plaster and arrowheads. And lately a lot of God, which is a good thing. “It’s a place like no other, my son. At the bin store, your wildest dreams can come true on any given day. It’s a place of miracles and pain. A place of lovely, fragrant aromas and sometimes, the unmistakable stench of unwashed body parts. At the bin store, treasures be found and fer certain, monsters be thar too!” That was all I needed to hear, I mean, come on! Treasures and monsters ... miracles and pain ... lovely fragrances. I wasn’t crazy about the aspect of unwashed hind parts, but hey ... sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Here’s how it works, if you’re not familiar with the ins and outs of a bin store. And I’m sure they each have their individual nuances that make them special in their own way. You enter through the doors and immediately get the sense of both chaos and possibility. The central feature, of course, is the bins, which should be filled to the brim with stuff you might want. Yes, it’s stuff somebody else didn’t want, but one man’s trash is another man’s treasure and all that. But it’s not a yard sale. There are items I’ve run across that were obviously pre-owned, but for the most part, it’s new ... just maybe damaged a hair or missing a small part. Some of it, though ... WHOO BOY, SOME OF IT ... is pristine, high quality stuff you’d pay a pretty penny for. But wait, you don’t have to pay a pretty penny for it. Why? Because it’s the bin store and they dumped a truckload of junk in the bins that people are just trying to get rid of. Wherever it came from was a place where it had no value for whatever reason. Maybe the demographic was wrong or when Amazon shipped it - there’s a bunch of Amazon returns - it wasn’t exactly what they thought they wanted. Maybe that’s part of the allure. Maybe knowing I might be able to save something from the Bin of Misfit Crapola is what’s drawing me there, on top of the thrill of the hunt. After all, I don’t hunt things that can run away, except the mouse that’s in my pantry - his name is Jerry - and I can’t catch him because I refuse to kill him and he ignores the humane trap ... a trap I bought at the bin store. The next reason to check out your local retailer of bin sweetness is the prices. Now, at this time, I have a bone to pick with my local store. As I’ve said before, I’m not a huge fan of changing things up, especially when I’ve just gotten used to the system. When the store first opened, They had a tiered format. The day they dumped a fresh truck, all items were six dollars. That’s awesome to start with, because I’ve found some amazing things on what most of the regulars creatively called, Six Dollar Day. But the next day was ... wait for it ... FIVE DOLLAR DAY! Everything that wasn’t bought the day before was even a dollar cheaper. Then it was Four Dollar Day, Three Dollar Day, and finally, Two Dollar Day. Those of us who weren’t worn out from thinking up clever names for the different days could get anything in the bins for two bucks! It’s a gambler’s paradise because what you aren’t willing to buy for $6, you can try to wait out and get cheaper. Maybe it’ll still be there and maybe it won’t. That electric tea kettle you had your eye on - you know, the one with the tiny dent you decided you could turn toward the back side of the kitchen counter - yeah, it might get buried beneath layers of torn boxes of dental floss and packs of male grooming kits called, MANSCAPED, or it might catch the eye of someone who loved it for what it was and didn’t care if the dent faced the wall or not. Then again, it might be there on Two Dollar Day, victoriously shining like a beacon in all its chrome-plated glory. But now, they’ve changed their structure. Every day is Six Dollar Day and the bins are filling up to obnoxious levels because people come get the new truck stuff that’s worth $6 and ignore the lesser merchandise. Then they dump another truck and the unwanted stuff just stays. The initial structure cleared the bins better as people were willing to spend a couple of bucks on the discarded trash left after most of the good stuff is gone. It’s not always a successful trip, either way. Sometimes the bin store yields treasures beyond my wallet’s capacity, even at the low prices, and sometimes the pickings are as desolate as the brains of the average politician. I have a kind of niche product I’m typically on the lookout for. Musical or recording equipment are especially irresistible. Take the microphone that I’m using to record this podcast. It’s made by Amazon. Amazon Basics is written right on the side, but it’s nice and heavy. It’s sturdy and it’s directional, which is great for podcasts and vocal recording because directional means that you have to be directly in front of it with it pointing directly at the face part of your face for it to pick up like it’s designed. Normally, I’ll be using my RODE NT1 fancy-pants professional condenser mic to record the podcast, and condensers pick up from everywhere around you. It’s one of the things that make it so important to sound treat your studio well if you’re gonna use a mic like the NT1 and now I’ve run off on a tangent, so let’s get back to the bin store. Anyway, I’m using the Amazon mic this time to prove a point. The sound is nice from a microphone I dislodged from underneath a pile of bed sheets and off-brand sanitary napkins. When you order it from Amazon, it comes with a nice XLR cable and has a 4.5 our of 5 star average rating as a product. Amazon charges $20 for it. And guess what? I’ve bought three of them from the bin store! For me, it’s fantastic because people are ALWAYS asking to borrow my microphones for things like weddings and such. They don’t always make their way back to me, so these bin store finds are a real steal! It’s something to consider as well, if you’re thinking about doing some recording of your own. One of the first problems new podcasters discover is getting their hands on halfway decent equipment. This episode experiment goes to show that you don’t have to have a RODE NT1 or better to achieve good sound. I also love other equipment such as the accessories that go with microphones and recording gear. I’ve bought three different boom arms with shock mounts - - items that can get quite expensive - and outfitted my studio with more professional style equipment. I won’t go into the details about boom arms and shock mounts. Look them up on Uncle Google if you’re curious. I just wanted to give some praise to the humble bin store. I didn’t even mention $20 bag day, which is the best day of all - the day when you’re invited to fill a garbage bag with whatever is in the bins and the entire bag is only $20. It’s another way to clear out the smalls that clutter up the bins. There hasn’t been one of those days, either, in a while and I’m jonesing for it. So if you have one, check out your local bin store. It takes a minute to get into the groove, to get over the feeling that you’re dumpster diving. But I promise, once you find that thing, and you’ll know it when you see it, you’ll be hooked. Like me and daddy.
Det här avsnittet handlar om Ridhästtestet och vi tar också upp lyssnarfrågor om unghästbedömningar generellt. Precis som i avsnittet om Unghästtest gästas vi av de erfarna SWB-domarna Christina Olsson och Susanne Axén som hjälper oss att reda ut begreppen. Här kan du läsa mer om SWBs unghästbedömningar, se filmer om hur de går till och få mer tips: https://swb.org/unghastbedomningar/
Vad är ett unghästtest? Hur går det till? Varför ska man visa sin häst? Vad tittar domarna på? Dessa och många fler frågor besvaras i avsnittet där de erfarna SWB-domarna Christina Olsson och Susanne Axén gästar oss.
Vilka var årets prylar 2020? Kommer vattendelaren graman göra en comeback 2021? Vi pratar stora hästar vs långa hästar, hyllar vår hästmamma Jessica Öhlander och frågar hästarna vad de har för nyårslöften. Plus: Steve Guerdat är en otippad gullis.Ämnen som tas upp i podden:Unghäst, hästköp, hoppning, kraftdjur, hjälptyglar Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I andra delen av vårt snack med Björn Unghästverkstaden Svensson pratar vi Wellingtonresan som bekostades av fölet Gurkan, hur man ska ta kritik, vad Björn och hans sambo Frida Seger bråkar om och vilken som är den bästa falltekniken. Plus: Den VERKLIGA hjälmdebatten uppstår. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Unghästverkstadens Björn Svensson började rida in hästar som litet barn med en teknik baserad på det han lärt sig om hästviskeri av filmen Black Beauty. Nu i efterhand påminner det mer om Jackass. Men något blev i alla fall väldigt rätt för i dag är han en av Sveriges mest profilstarka unghästutbildare och har tagit fram en Breeders Cup-vinnare. Vi ringde upp honom för Hästtransportens första dubbelavsnitt! Vilka hästar får Björn Svensson att gråta? Varför behöver man humor för att rida unghäst? Hur känns det att vinna Breeders? Och hur ska vi vintervila våra speedade bebisar utan att någon inblandad slår ihjäl sig?Del 1 av 2 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I would do anything for min häst... but I won't do that. Hästfilosofiska rummet gästas den här veckan av den ridande veganen och vårt externa samvete: Roxy Farhat. Hon synar våra bortförklaringar, och är skoningslös mot hyckleriet i hästeriet. Vi säger att vi älskar våra hästar - men spärrar bokstavligen in dem bakom galler och utsätter dem för högrisksporter som hoppning. Så vad hade våra hästar gjort om de fick välja _helt_ själva? Och går det alls att rida med gott samvete? Vi pratar om ridningens villkor, och att den som i slutändan alltid tvingas kompromissa mest är hästen. Plus bildar punkbandet Bränn Tränsen.Ämnen i avsnittet: Natural Horsemanship, Etik, Djurrätt, Djurskydd, Veganism, Filosofi, Unghästar, Bett, Ridning, Hoppning, Fälttävlan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Kråkan har varit på uppfostringsanstalt hos Björn Unghästverkstaden Svensson och Malin Rinné på Sundsmåla Gård. Där fanns även ryttar-PT Linda Hemmingson som gav Linn insikten att hon har två (!) rövar, som vi kommer få se in action nästa tävlingssäsong. Soja avger psykopatvibbar för andra avsnittet i rad, men berättar också om en livsviktig insikt hon fick av att lyssna på vår systerpod Något i Hästväg - dvs att hon lever som en laglös i Team BallaUr-bubblan. Har Soja en osund inställning till faror? Vad finns det nu igen för bra anledningar till att inte ramla av? Plus: Är dressyrryttare smartare än hoppryttare? Antagligen. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Foderforskaren Cecilia Müller från SLU svarar på lyssnarnas frågor om näringsbehov och utfodring av avelsston och växande unghästar. Varför är det viktigt att analysera sitt grovfoder och hur tolkar man analysrapporten? Vad gör man när det digivande stoet tappar snabbt i vikt? Och hur ska Gustaf göra för att få upp näringsvärdet i sina beten? Detta och mycket mer får du reda på i avsnittet! Så tolkar du analysrapporten på foder: https://hastsverige.se/hastens-miljo/foderstatsprogram/tolkning/ SLUs/HästSveriges foderstatsprogram hittar du här https://hastsverige.se/hastens-miljo/foderstatsprogram/
I veckans avsnitt blev det nått vajsing med ljudet, hoppas ni har överseende med detta (det ska inte hända igen)! Vi pratar om tävlingarna som varit på Brolöten och en uppridning på K1 för Victoria. Frågan denna veckan handlar om unghästtestet som Emelie är iväg på i helgen med sina två svarta hingstar. Håll tummarna samtidigt som ni lyssnar!
Hur har Coronapandemin hittills påverkat avelsverksamheten och unghästbedömningssäsongen? Hur går unghästtestet till och varför behöver alla hästar vid unghästtest göra samma sak?
Robert Ungh är företagare och digital kreatör, han har ett eget företag som sysslar med aktiviteter in the great Outdoor. Han är fotograf och ambassadör för Panasonic Lumix och han har även varit med att startat flera IT-företag, Outdoor Guide Robert guidar folk i norra Sveriges natur genom sitt företag Upp Lev Ner på cykel, skidor eller apostlahästarna. Fotograf Genom My Sound Of Silence publicerar Robert sina foton, oftast från strapatser genom naturen och från hans toppturer på våra svenska snötäckta berg. Lavintekniker Herr Ungh är utbildad lavintekniker och är digital kreatör på twICEme IT Robert är medägare och digital kreatör på Sherpas Group. Länkar http://www.upplevner.se/ https://avntyr.com/ My Sound Of Silence Sherpas Group twICEme https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-ungh-526a4642/ https://www.instagram.com/upplevner/ https://www.instagram.com/robertungh/ Robert Ungh @ Twitter Tawai: A Voice from the Forest Alla avsnitt av The Larsson Pod
Robert Ungh är företagare och digital kreatör, han har ett eget företag som sysslar med aktiviteter in the great Outdoor. Han är fotograf och ambassadör för Panasonic Lumix och han har även varit med att startat flera IT-företag, Outdoor Guide Robert guidar folk i norra Sveriges natur genom sitt företag Upp Lev Ner på cykel, Läs mer ...
Medan massmedia går i taket över Paolo Robertos sexaffärer väljer de helt att ignorera Tommie Lindh, 19-åringen som mördades av en afrikan när han försökte stoppa en våldtäkt. Det talar vi om, men också om yttrandefrihet, Unghögern och folkomröstningen i Sjöbo 1988. Inlägget Kväll med Svegot #86: Vänsterns totala hyckleri dök först upp på Radio Svegot.
- Nedslag i rörelsens historia: Folkomröstningen i Sjöbo 1988- Unghögern: Varför valde Sverige socialdemokratin istället för Rudolf Kjelléns idéer?- Paolo Roberto har betett sig som ett svin men trumfas av den hycklande vänstern. - Efterspelet kring mordet på Tommie Lindh belyser maktens svenskfientlighet.- Yttrandefrihet till varje pris, eller? Vi tittar på lagstiftning i Tyskland och Ungern.Deltagare: Dan Eriksson, Magnus Söderman och Björn BjörkqvistOrganisera dig: https://www.detfriasverige.seStöd programmet: https://www.svegot.se/plusLäs vår tidskrift: https://www.nationalisten.se
Sleep e apda mate bau jaruri che Jem jamva ma mithu ochhu hoi k nakhyu nai hoi to jamvano taste na ave tem j ungh vagar apdu body and mind kaam na kari sake. Yog sadhna karnar 3 n a half or 4 hours ni sleep thi akho divas saro kari sake che but j loko stress and depression ne lidhe ungh ochhi leta hoi che e loko bimari ne invite kare che. Ungh thi tame tamari body ne aram apo cho and sathe sathe magaj ma chalta vicharo thi thakela magaj ne aram apo cho. Sleep is necessity of your body and mind for relaxation.
Felicia Nolåker är Grand Prix ryttare, C-tränare i dressyr och har unghästkompetens. I denna avsnitt visar berättar Felicia om hur hon tänker när hon arbetar med en unghäst. Felicia delar med sig av flera bra tips inte bara för unghästen utan för alla hästar. Ljudet är tyvärr lite lågt i detta avsnitt. Vill du ha mer? På Equipoddens youtube kanal finns en video där Felicia rider och visar praktiskt hur hon arbetar med unghästen. Det är verkligen ett långt och matnyttigt avsnitt med tips som passar unghäst till Grand Prix. Vill du veta mer om Felicia kan du kika in på hennes hemsida: http://www.fndressage.com Eller hennes instagram: @felicianolaker Tack för att du har tittat och glöm inte prenumerera på Equipodden här på YouTube och följa podden på Facebook och Instagram
Felicia Nolåker är Grand Prix ryttare, C-tränare i dressyr och har unghästkompetens. I denna avsnitt visar berättar Felicia om hur hon tänker när hon arbetar med en unghäst. Felicia delar med sig av flera bra tips inte bara för unghästen utan för alla hästar. Ljudet är tyvärr lite lågt i detta avsnitt. Vill du ha mer? På Equipoddens youtube kanal finns en video där Felicia rider och visar praktiskt hur hon arbetar med unghästen. Det är verkligen ett långt och matnyttigt avsnitt med tips som passar unghäst till Grand Prix. Vill du veta mer om Felicia kan du kika in på hennes hemsida: http://www.fndressage.com Eller hennes instagram: @felicianolaker Tack för att du har tittat och glöm inte prenumerera på Equipodden här på YouTube och följa podden på Facebook och Instagram
Felicia Nolåker är Grand Prix ryttare, C-tränare i dressyr och har unghästkompetens. I denna avsnitt visar berättar Felicia om hur hon tänker när hon arbetar med en unghäst. Felicia delar med sig av flera bra tips inte bara för unghästen utan för alla hästar. Ljudet är tyvärr lite lågt i detta avsnitt. Vill du ha mer? På Equipoddens youtube kanal finns en video där Felicia rider och visar praktiskt hur hon arbetar med unghästen. Det är verkligen ett långt och matnyttigt avsnitt med tips som passar unghäst till Grand Prix. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOyGqFNaty8KhLLd81jf7hQ Vill du veta mer om Felicia kan du kika in på hennes hemsida: http://www.fndressage.com Eller hennes instagram: @felicianolaker Tack för att du har tittat och glöm inte prenumerera på Equipodden här på YouTube och följa podden på Facebook och Instagram
Der Schweizer Schriftsteller und Radio-Autor Heinz Stalder wurde im Juli 80 Jahre alt. Radio SRF produzierte ein Hörspiel, das auf Stalders Theaterstück «Fischbach – oder wie Unghüür us Amerika» basiert. Es wurde 1981 in Bern uraufgeführt. Nun erfährt man aus heutiger Sicht, wie es damals entstand. In der kunstvoll verdichteten Mundart-Groteske schleppen ein alter Bauer und sein Sohn unentwegt mit Brunnenwasser gefüllte Chianti-Flaschen über die Jauchegrube zu einer hölzernen Stellage, um sie schliesslich in einem Zuber zu entleeren. Und immer stehen sie unter Beobachtung, dem lauernden Blick der überaus dicken und schweigenden Mutter und Frau. Dabei verwickeln sich der Alte und der Junge in repetitiv stockende Streitgespräche über Kriegserlebnisse, nächtliche Träume und die Bedrohung des Dorfes durch den unaufhaltsamen Fortschritt. Schliesslich merkt man: Die Männer bereiten ein therapeutisches Bad gegen die Fettleibigkeit der Bäuerin vor. Vierzig Jahre nach der Entstehung entwickelt Heinz Stalder die Geschichte der Bauernfamilie weiter. Die Enkelin entdeckt bei der Grossmutter die Stellage mit den leeren Chianti-Flaschen und wird neugierig. Die Grossmutter beginnt sich zu erinnern, vieles kommt wieder hoch, «obsi» eben. Insbesondere erinnert sie sich daran, dass damals ein Autor ein Theaterstück über ihre Familie geschrieben und sie zu einer Hauptfigur gemacht habe – Entstellungen inbegriffen. Heinz Stalder wirft also – im Rahmen einer reizvollen akustischen «Stückbegehung» – einen neuen Blick auf sein Theaterstück. Er ergründet und hinterfragt den Entstehungsprozess und ermöglicht nicht zuletzt seinen lebensprallen Figuren ein Comeback. Mit: Rahel Hubacher (Enkelin), Marlise Fischer (Grossmutter), Hanspeter Müller-Drossaart (der Alte), Nils Althaus (der Junge), Walter Sigi Arnold (Gisler), Heinz Stalder (Autor) Musik: Elia Rediger (Komposition, Elektronik, diverse Instrumente), Tobias Preisig (Violine) - Tontechnik: Mirjam Emmenegger - Dramaturgie: Reto Ott - Regie: Päivi Stalder - Produktion: SRF 2019 - Dauer: 50'
Der Schweizer Schriftsteller und Radio-Autor Heinz Stalder wird 80 Jahre alt. SRF gratuliert ihm mit einem Hörspiel, das auf seinem Theaterstück «Fischbach – oder wie Unghüür us Amerika» basiert. Es wurde 1981 in Bern uraufgeführt. Nun erfährt man aus heutiger Sicht, wie es damals entstand. In der kunstvoll verdichteten Mundart-Groteske schleppen ein alter Bauer und sein Sohn unentwegt Chianti-Flaschen vom Brunnen über die Jauchegrube zu einer hölzernen Stellage, um sie schliesslich in einem Zuber zu entleeren. Und immer stehen sie unter Beobachtung, dem lauernden Blick der überaus dicken und schweigenden Mutter und Frau. Dabei verwickeln sich der Alte und der Junge in repetitiv stockende Streitgespräche über Kriegserlebnisse, nächtliche Träume und die Bedrohung des Dorfes durch den unaufhaltsamen Fortschritt. Schliesslich merkt man: Die Männer bereiten ein therapeutisches Bad gegen die Fettleibigkeit der Bäuerin vor. Vierzig Jahre nach der Entstehung entwickelt Heinz Stalder nun die Geschichte der Bauernfamilie weiter. Die Enkelin entdeckt bei der Grossmutter die Stellage mit den Flaschen und wird neugierig. Die Grossmutter beginnt sich zu erinnern, vieles kommt wieder hoch, «obsi» eben. Insbesondere erinnert sie sich daran, dass damals ein Autor ein Theaterstück über ihre Familie geschrieben und sie zu einer Hauptfigur gemacht habe – Entstellungen inbegriffen. Heinz Stalder wirft also – im Rahmen einer reizvollen akustischen «Stückbegehung» – einen neuen Blick auf sein Theaterstück. Er ergründet und hinterfragt den Entstehungsprozess und ermöglicht nicht zuletzt seinen lebensprallen Figuren ein Comeback. Mit: Rahel Hubacher (Enkelin), Marlise Fischer (Grossmutter), Hanspeter Müller-Drossaart (der Alte), Nils Althaus (der Junge), Walter Sigi Arnold (Gisler), Heinz Stalder (Autor) Musik: Elia Rediger (Komposition, Elektronik, diverse Instrumente), Tobias Preisig (Violine) - Tontechnik: Mirjam Emmenegger - Dramaturgie: Reto Ott - Regie: Päivi Stalder - Produktion: SRF 2019 - Dauer: 50'
Unsolicited acts of violence are the yeast that makes the doughy truth of Story rise, overfill Its pan, and crisp on the oven floor. Bash! Ungh! Guuugh. Yeah, sometimes these Stories get grisly, and when they do, we just gotta shake our heads and whisper, “ohhhh.” Enjoy this tender tale of friendship to which we can allllll relate. Invocation Psalm: “A Sack Full of Batteries” Liturgical Reading: “Burying” Concluding Prayer Next week we return with a brand new Story for you to swallow, dissolve, and absorb.
Han har kallats för "supportern som är mer känd än klubben", intervjuats i BBC, och mottagit Allsvenskans Stora Pris. Trots det är Anders Ungh allt som oftast ensam i klacken på BPs bortamatcher. Men inte den här gången - Erik Helmerskog åker ner till Varberg för att gå på match med den ensamme supportern.En sporthistoria är en produktion från JUST STORIES. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Hur skiljer sig det dräktiga eller digivande stoets näringsbehov jämfört med andra hästar? När behöver man justera foderstaterna? Hur får man bästa starten till sitt föl? Vad ska man tänka på? Musik: Jennifer Eriksson och Oskar Abrahamsson Mail: info@hippolyt.se Telefon: +46 0413 486 100 www.hippolyt.se
Det närmar sig höstens unghästtävlingar, som Breeders Trophy och Elmia Scandinavian Horse Show. Tävlingarna är uppbygds enligt olika koncept och vi pratar dem och om dess skillnader samt mycket mer. Framgångsekipaget är en podcast om framgången bakom ett ekipage. Ett ekipage är inte endast häst och ryttare utan bakom dem finns ett helt team av nyckelpersoner som tillsammans skapar framgång. Framgångsekipaget träffar flera av Sveriges mest framgångsrika aktörer inom ridsporten. Ni får höra hur deras väg har varit fram till där de är idag men ni får också höra vår syn på vad som gör ett ekipage framgångsrikt och allt som rör ridsporten. För kontakt och samarbeten maila: framgangsekipaget@gmail.com Instagram: sgstabledressage annapersssson
I veckans avsnitt möter Framgångsekipaget egenföretagaren, unghästutbildaren, bloggaren och partyfixaren Björn Svensson, också känd som Captain Tourettes. Vi får veta mer om vem Björn är, hur hans ryttarkarriär startade och hur han tagit sig fram dit han står idag. Han delar också med sig att sitt motto och tips för att bli ett framgångsrikt ekipage. Framgångsekipaget är en podcast om framgången bakom ett ekipage. Ett ekipage är inte endast häst och ryttare utan bakom dem finns ett helt team av nyckelpersoner som tillsammans skapar framgång. Framgångsekipaget träffar flera av Sveriges mest framgångsrika aktörer inom ridsporten. Ni får höra hur deras väg har varit fram till där de är idag men ni får också höra vår syn på vad som gör ett ekipage framgångsrikt och allt som rör ridsporten. För kontakt maila: framgangsekipaget@gmail.com Instagram: sgstabledressage annapersssson
Intoxica Radio-It Will Blow Your Mind!! That is correct sir! Get outta the way of this monstar's Deadly Organ becuz I'm a comin' to make thee musick go UNGH! Rock n Roll heart breakers, shit kickers, trouble makers, undertakers, donut bakers, but NEVER any fakers! Tonite at 9PM Karloffornia time Intoxica Radio will be live on the air...I may not hear it but I'll make sure you do! So you know thee drill, Killers...Plug in your iTard®, strap on your IntoxiDrool® cup, fall into your spinning (and sometimes talking) chair® & join me, Howie Pyro® on Intoxica Radio® at 9pm at www.Luxuriamusic.com Art by Karl Kaos... #intoxicaradio #howiepyro #records #rocknroll #dj #dance #rhythmandblues #rockabilly #soul #weird #garagerock #karlkaos
Många fina föl föds i dessa dagar! Facebook fullständigt svämmar över med alla dessa söta små varelser. Varje höst finns det möjlighet att delta i det som kallas för "Föl & unghästbedömning". Nina Berghotlz har under flera år jobbat med att bedömna många av dessa föl och unghästar. I detta program berättar hon om hur en sådan bedömning går till, vem som kan vara med, vem som kan arrangera och mycket annat.
När är unghästen redo för nästa nivå? Hur undviker man överträning? Vi frågar Stephanie Holmén, beridare som sitter på tio olika hästar om dagen, och hennes chef: Lisen! Ni har skickat in en massa bra frågor till det här avsnittet om att utbilda unga hästar för hoppning på hög nivå. Det resulterar i en rad tips - bland andra: gör det enkelt, var noggrann och träna på att tävla tills hästen verkligen är redo och hoppar med självförtroende. Stephanie Holmén och Lisen Bratt Fredricson berättar också vad de söker efter hos de hästar som köps in till stallet, hur de hanterar bakslag och hur viktigt det är att anpassa träningen efter varje individ. Producent: Ulrika Lindqvist.
Vi träffade Tekla Lindroos på Backome och pratade med henne om "unghästprovet". Tekla gjorde sitt prov i oktober (2016) och fick hela 8,91 poäng vid examinationen! Här berättar hon om hur det gick till och vad man ska tänka på.
Ungh!!! Sweat it out on the dancefloor with these early proto-house jams reflecting the mood of a culturally vibrant NYC downtown scene in the mid-80's. Tracklist for August 24, 2016 01 :: The Movement - Movement 02 :: Colonel Abrams - Music Is The Answer (Vocal) 03 :: Dhar Braxton - Jump Back (Set Me Free) (Club Mix) 04 :: Tammy Lucas - Hey Boy (Rough Mix) 05 :: Captain Rapp - Bad Times (I Can't Stand It) (Part 2) 06 :: Russ Brown - Gotta Find A Way (Vocal) 07 :: Man Friday - Love ...
Är rädslan som många har för att rida unghäst befogad? Hur bra ryttare ska man vara för att utbilda en häst på egen hand? Vi har kallat in två experter på unghästutbildning för att reda ut det. Ridpoddens lyssnare Patricia undrar hur hennes ettåriga häst ska få bästa tänkbara förutsättningar för framtiden. Astrid Antonsson är unghästutbildare, lärare i unghästutbildning och hoppning på Flyinge, tränare i hoppning och kan dessutom skriva tävlingsryttare och beridare i sitt cv. Henrik Ankarcrona undervisar också på Flyinge - i hoppning på beridarprogrammet, är utbildad tränare och tävlar i hoppning upp till svår klass. Tillsammans med Lisen Bratt Fredricson reder de ut en rad viktiga frågor kring utbildning och ridning av unghästar. Producent: Ulrika Lindqvist
Louise Lindström har gått både Unghästutbildningen och Beridarprogrammet på Flyinge och delade i Speakers Corner med sig av sin upplevelse om utbildningarna men också om vad som väntar i framtiden. Om tre veckor är det dags för examen och direkt där efter väntar jobb hos berömda Mette Rosencrantz i USA. – Ifrån Flyinge har jag med mig ett värdefullt nätverk och ett bra system för att utbilda hästar. Jag har också med mig ett bra stöd i ryggen inför framtiden och många timmar i sadeln, avslutar Louise.
DnB, Bass & Glitch hop! UNGH! I love this mix by Lunar. Tracklist:1. Bird of Prey - Sonic_Bloom_feat. Gibson2. Dub Phizixs - Happy 53. Hybris - Bossa Nouveau4. EAN - Flow (Om Unit Remix)5. Fracture - Tunnel Track6. Hybris - Agent7. Fracture - Bad Habit (Om Unit VIP)8. Hybris - Ender9. Kill the Noise - Deal With It (KOAN Sound Remix)10. Om Unit - Ulysses11. Bird of Prey - Metakinetic12. Two Fingers - Vengeance_Rhythm (KOAN_Sound_Remix)13. Om Unit - Dark Sunrise feat. Tamara Blessato find out more about LUNAR, visit:http://www.djlunar.com/http://www.lunarcast.net/https://soundcloud.com/lunar-bass
Ghetto funk! Midtempo breaks! UNGH! This is a fantastic mix by adam12. This will definitely get the booty shaking. Recorded June 2012 in Campbell, California.For more information on ADAM12 visit:https://soundcloud.com/djadam12https://www.facebook.com/djadam12https://twitter.com/djadamtwelve