Dot to Dot Behind the Person

Esme Verity supports founders, those who are 'Zebras'. The insights she shares throw light on to a world which favours a cookie cutter approach to success, even within the area of start-ups where our expectation may be different. Fiona explores Esme's journey and the interesting experience she's gained on “building a business that doesn't fit into this mainstream mould that we now have, a sort of Silicon Valley mould.” Why by investors looking only for businesses that offer a 10x return on investment leads to so many startups that are critical to the world being disregarded and left struggling to survive. Esme ran an antique jewellery business from the age of 18 and throughout university. When she left, she sought funding to help grow that business, and that's when she was thrown into the world of Venture Capital. The VC world is very much focussed on finding the next unicorn business, something that's going to grow incredibly big, very quickly. But Esme explains how she thinks that this reflects ‘a very limited definition of ambition' and just ‘because you don't want to build a huge giant business doesn't make you not ambitious, it just means that you want something different.' Wanting to do things differently and support the diversity of people within the start-up world, not just the unicorns, Esme has been on a mission ever since to advance her understanding of alternative approaches to growing a business that's sustainable and to share that knowledge with others. Esme teaches about alternative funding and has worked with hundreds of purpose-driven start-ups, non-profits and governments to help democratise access to alternative funding sources.  Prior to founding Considered Capital, she was Director of Chapters at Zebras Unite, an international and intersectional hybrid cooperative dedicated to creating new financial instruments for the next economy. Esme is an active angel investor and was named one of the Top 100 Women in Social Enterprise by Pioneers Post. Esme is the founder of Considered Capital, a platform for start-ups and organisations seeking alternative funding. Considered Capital simplifies and speeds up the journey to finding and accessing the right funding fit through courses, community and content.   To find Esme go to Linkedin or her website Considered CapitalFor Zebras Unite click here For more from Fiona and her startup Oka click here. 

Bhavin Visavadia is a senior and experienced Consultant Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon and Clinical Leader. He is a surgical educator teaching around the world and was a member of Council of the British Association of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons (BAOMS). He was also Chairman of the Consultants and Specialists Group here. Bhavin has the position of Regional Director for London (NW) at the Royal College of Surgeons of England. He is also President of the Oral Surgery Club of Great Britain Bhavin qualified in medicine and dentistry at King's College London and undertook his specialist surgical training at Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead, Royal Surrey County Hospital in Guildford and Guy's and King's College Hospitals, London. Bhavin is highly committed to surgical training supporting mentoring and pro-actively engaging with the development of surgeons, doctors, nurses and dentists. For more on opportunities to get involved in mentoring or to be mentored go to: https://oka.life For more from Fiona go to:https://fionamurden.com

For more on the Comfort Zone go to my book Defining You - Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential

Hannah has observed the pop-culture messaging of "love yourself”, “reduce stress”, “avoid burnout”, “safe spaces”, “take it easy”, and “hack culture". All of which are promoted with good intentions. However, Hannah is passionate that these messages lead to adverse outcomes.Because of her diverse experience and when looking through the prism of a female soldier (or those taking on demanding physical challenges) Hannah promotes tremendous success by doing the opposite.Hannah is on a mission (pun intended) to convince people to seek out discomfort, to take a leap of faith when feeling overwhelmed by emotions and continually action their goals. Hannah's simple strategies and lived experience can cut through some noise, helping all walks of life! Hannah's Bio: At the tender age of 18, Hannah joined the army and has served for 12 years, including two operational tours in Afghanistan. During this time,Hannahhas lived in Germany, worked for NATO, and was also privileged to serve the late Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II on ceremonial duties, including Garden Parties, Diplomatic Receptions, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's wedding and the late Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh funeral.Hannah's versatility extends beyond military service. She is also a skilled ski instructor and has participated in various adventure training activities, including parachuting and a military competition where she carried 40 pounds of weight over 40 miles. Also, Hannah placed 2nd in her age and gender group in the military section of an Ironman competition.Her passion for personal growth and resilience has led her to establish Simple as Hannah, where she hopes to help individuals enhance their health and well-being, build their stress tolerance, and reach their full through regular exposure to discomfort with simple and actionable protocols to help along the way. With her unique combination of military discipline and physical challenges,Hannah is well-equipped to guide others on their journey of self-discovery and growth. For more about Hannah please go to: https://linktr.ee/simple_as_hannahFor more from Fiona go to:https://fionamurden.com 

 The books I refer to are: Mirror Thinking  https://bit.ly/mirrorthink Defining You https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd Other references made can be found in Defining You. 

Giles is an award-winning author, podcaster and screenwriter. Giles' first novel for adults One Hundred and Fifty-Two Days come out in March 2020. Author of several books for children and two adult novels, with a third on the way. His book One Hundred and Fifty-Two Days has been adapted by Giles and Elizabeth Morris for Arclight Films and Future Artists Entertainment. Giles is the writer of six short films for Little Angel Theatre. Giles' children's books include The Fearsome Beastie, winner of The People's Book Prize 2012, Heart of Hawick Children's Book Award 2013, Bizziebaby Gold Award, The US Forward National Literary Award and Shortlisted for The Rotherham Children's Book Award 2012. Tamara Small and the Monsters' Ball is shortlisted for The People's Book Prize 2013. He has written several picture books, including Things You Never Knew About Dinosaurs, Princess Stay Awake and a collection of nonsense poetry. Giles' is co-host and producer of the award-nominated Blank Podcast and regularly writes for Aquila Magazine. He's also co-host of the ‘A Little Bit of Positive' podcast with Julia Bradbury and co-host of ‘Things I forgot were good for me' with Dr Radha Modgil.Giles lives with his wife and two sons in East SussexTo pledge for Gile's next book go to: https://unbound.com/books/gigantium/To connect with Giles on Twitter go to:@eliistender10For more from Fiona go to:https://fionamurden.com 

So while Sophie's subjects are animals, her ability to watch people and question why people are doing what they're doing, whether they're doing what they should be doing, or think they should be doing, or whether they're actually being kind of authentic to themselves must have influenced her ability to so accurately reflect not just the image of the animals but the emotion that comes with that. As she says herself:“It is impossible to admire the beauty of the natural world without also reflecting on its vulnerability.” Sophie has dedicated her time and artistic work to raising awareness for issues surrounding animal welfare and the environment. Her art is magical, emotive and so realistic that it's hard to believe it's not a photograph stepping out of the canvas toward you. Sophie says:Throughout her career as a fine artist and since founding the online gallery and art store, Art Basket, Sophie has donated 10% of her profits to wildlife & conservation charities and has worked closely with foundations such as IFAW, The David Shepherd Wildlife Foundation and Explorers Against Extinction to help to make a difference.In 2021, Sophie was awarded the ‘medal of excellence' by the Artists for Conservation foundation for her outstanding work in the wildlife & conservation sphere. Sophie was also the winner of the Leisure Painter People's Choice Award 2020 and 2021, runner-up in the BBC Wildlife Magazine People's Choice and was deemed ‘highly commended' in prizes such as the Wildlife Artist of the Year competition, the Sketch for Survival Award and the Ashurst Emerging Artist Prize. In 2021, Sophie was selected to be one of 20 Artists to exhibit at COP26 in the Blue zone.To see some of Sophie's brilliant work go to:https://www.sophiegreenfineart.com/For more from me go tohttps://fionamurden.com 

Fiona explores how gambling became a drug for Patrick. How the biggest thing for him was learning how to show his emotion, the importance of self-awareness. Patrick now works for Epic Risk Management which was formed in 2014, when the CEO of the company had ended up in prison, having attempted suicide, and stolen £434,000 from his employers, which was one of the world's biggest banks to fund his gambling addiction. Whilst he was in prison, he recognised that actually, he wasn't the only person who had suffered from an addiction of this kind who must have done things like he had done and ended up in the situation that he was. Patrick says that he realised that there were a lot of organisations that dealt with people once they'd kind of fallen off the cliff but that there weren't enough trying to prevent it in the first place. Patrick explains how gambling carries such stigma that what they try at his company is to try and break down those barriers and ultimately allow people to make more informed decisions, to understand how to spot signs in themselves and probably most importantly what to do if they do need help.Patrick's book is called - Might Bite: The Secret Life of a Gambling Addict 

We explore psychological profiling and how important it is to fit the right personality to the right operations and delve into the use of MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) as a tool used to help every officer in the CIA understand themselves. Andrew explains his view of the world as a former spy, that ‘every human being you meet is either a source or some kind of support asset or some kind of network capability.' And we touch on various other topics such as the elite leader, elite surgeon, elite athlete or elite in any field who is perhaps less used to failure than the average joe, or more able to plough on in spite of failure. Andrew shares his view of this, that ‘their failure is not in their skill. Their failure is seen in the rate of alcohol abuse, that they have substance abuse, the divorce rates, the lack of sleep, the sociopathic tendencies, the psychopathic tendencies.'  More about Andrew Andrew describes himself as an improvement junkie. He's also a former covert CIA intelligence officer, US Air Force combat veteran, and Fortune 10 corporate advisor. He surrounds himself with knowledge, experiences, and people who help him grow and he look for opportunities to share what he's learnt with others. For more from Andrew go to everydayspy.com  For more from Fiona go to www.fionamurden.com   

Fiona and Dermot discuss what Alan was really like, from his utter brilliance through to those areas that he was less adept. The truth about his relationships with a few close friends which stands in deep contrast to the portrait drawn of him as a loner, by Hollywood and many biographers. Of course we also talk about the people who impacted Alan Turing from shaping his thinking to the decisions he made. We also cover Dermot's own incredible career and how much Alan Turing influenced the course that he took.  Dermot Turing – like his celebrated uncle Alan Turing – was educated at Sherborne School and King's College, Cambridge. After a doing a D.Phil in Genetics at Oxford, he concluded that scientific research was not for him, and moved into the legal profession.Dermot worked for the Government Legal Service and then the international law firm Clifford Chance, where he was a partner until 2014. His specialism was financial sector regulation, particularly the problems associated with failed banks, and financial market infrastructure.As well as writing and speaking, Dermot is a trustee of The Turing Trust and a Visiting Fellow at Kellogg College, Oxford. He continues his interest in the financial world.Dermot lives in Kippen in Stirlingshire. He is married with two sons, and as well as history his interests include cooking, gardening and opera.To read more about Dermot and find links to his books go to DermotTuring.com  For Fiona's book that Dermot wrote an endorsement for click here Mirror Thinking - How Role Models Make Us Human  

Pat's interest in Mental Health, Resilience and more specifically Mindfulness started in 2009, whilst on operations in Afghanistan.  He completed an Open University degree in Psychology after noticing the lack of a ‘therapeutic relationship' between soldiers returning from operations and their counsellors.  He ran weekly online Mindfulness sessions throughout the COVID-19 period and continues to do so. Currently he is leading the implementation of Physical Attention Training (PAT), an innovative approach to bringing Mindfulness based coping strategies into the existing culture of physical training.  More about Major Burgess  Major Burgess was brought up in Wells, Somerset, joined the Army in September 1992 and started his career at The Second Royal Tank Regiment in Fallingbostel, Germany. He served with the regiment in Germany, Northern Ireland, Canada, Poland, Iraq and Afghanistan in a career that saw him from Trooper, through Tank Commander to Regimental Sergeant Major.  He was recently promoted to Major as Officer Commanding the Combat CIS School.  He was awarded an MBE in the 2020 New Year's Honours List in recognition of his tireless work in bringing mindfulness to Defence and has more recently been awarded an Honorary Degree of Doctor of Science (DSc) by Glasgow and Caledonian University. He is a member of the Defence Mindfulness Steering Group and his course content and delivery are endorsed by the Counselling and Psychotherapy Central Awarding Body (CPCAB).  For more on Major Burgess go to his website www.oneworldmindfulness.co.uk For more from me go to www.fionamurden.com  

We talk about having an ‘elite education' and how when Sarah went to Harvard she ‘saw how the sausage is made'. “And by sausage, I mean, how elite people are made, and who runs the universe, so to speak.” Sarah also explains how through her studies at Oxford she has seen that “the way that political thinking is just not very much like other forms of thinking. It's deeply tied into our sense of who we are, whether we're good people. And not only that, but it's tied up in our sense that we need to kind of feel okay about the immediate opportunities for action available to us in the future.” We also discuss how the School of Life shaped Sarah's thinking, whether there are ever any ‘new' ideas as opposed to a reshaping of those that have existed sometimes for centuries, we explore nudges and the extent to which they are all that they are cracked up to be and many, many other topics.  More about Sarah. Sarah is a writer, content strategist, learning designer, and researcher at Oxford University. Her academic research focuses on the role of emotion in political communication, and specifically on cognitive dissonance. Another string to her bow is that she's the Head of Content Strategy at the Future Narratives Lab where she works on projects related to policy and politics. She also serves on the Institute of Imagination's Global Imagination Board. For many years she was also the Head of Content at The School of Life, where she is still a faculty member and learning designer. To read more about Sarah click her to go to her website. For more from us go to:www.fionamurden.com or www.oka.life   

Kimmel is an Emeritus Professor of Sociology and Gender Studies at Stony Brook University. Among his many books are Manhood in America, Angry White Men, The Politics of Manhood, The Gendered Society and the best seller Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. With funding from the MacArthur Foundation, he founded the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook in 2013. He has delivered the International Women's Day annual lecture at the European Parliament, the European Commission and the Council of Europe, and has worked with the Ministers for Gender Equality of Norway, Denmark and Sweden in developing programs for boys and men. He consults widely with corporations, NGOs and public sector organizations on gender equity issues. For more from Michael go to www.michaelkimmel.com For more from Fiona go to www.fionamurden.com  

I've been wanting to record an episode with Nabil for ages, but there simply hasn't been time. He moved from one fast paced role to another most recently holding the position of Global Chief Creative Officer at Soho House. I'm pleased to say that finally he's taking a breather (although even that involves a course at Harvard University) so I caught him just long enough to share his story with you. We talk about his fascinating background growing up in Singapore with the expectations that loomed over him. He shares a point where he felt he had failed, the shame that he experienced and the reflection that ensued in what some may consider unusual circumstances – in the jungle during 2 years military service. Nabil's creativity started early in life but was further ignited by time spent at London College of Fashion, followed by roles held with three globally iconic brands – Urban Outfitters, Selfridges and most recently (at the tender age of 28) the position at Soho House.  Nabil is hungry for growth, deeply committed to continually stretching himself and explains in simple terms how earlier on in life a lack of role-models while pursuing the creative route was hard… “I'm the guy who would, who would stay back sewing things or painting or whatever it might be. It was always a creative pursuit. It was always about expression. Definitely not football and definitely not playing with the lego set. That was My brother. And I guess at that point, I thought, Okay, this is what being a creative means, but I didn't have role models, then per se, to say, Oh, this is a career path, I couldn't make a living out of this. And Singapore back then was the be all and end all for me. I hadn't really travelled elsewhere, to say oh, you could be a creative director, whatever that means. So, at 15, you, you have a feeling, and you try to manifest as best as possible by eliminating options. And I think that's the hardest thing to do.”But also, how having role-models as an adult enables him to craft his career with even more care. “One of the benefits of having role models in your career is that you get to reverse engineer your way? Checking is it OK? If you have 50 years of work life - how do you want to make the most of that time? How can you pace yourself? Most importantly, so that you are peaking at absolutely the right time, when you have the most to give.”  If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the role-models and influences in your life then you may enjoy my most recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkFor more from me go to: https://fionamurden.com 

Amongst other things we discuss the impact of having a family on friendship, the devastating outcomes associated with social isolation and the issue of avoiding the difficult conversations that could improve friendships.  Denworth is a contributing editor at Scientific American and the author of Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond, which was named one of the best leadership books of 2020 by Adam Grant and called “the best of science writing” by Booklist. She is also co-author, with Dana Suskind, of the New York Times bestseller Parent Nation, and has written two other books of popular science: I Can Hear You Whisper and Toxic Truth. Her work has also appeared in The Atlantic, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, Time, and many other publications. She lives in Brooklyn, New York with her family. For more about Lydia and her work – here is the link to Lydia's books page.  For more from me go towww.fionamurden.com   

I first came across George Bonanno's work when I was struggling with the death of my Dad 10 years ago. His first book, the Other Side of Sadness helped me to reframe what I was experiencing in an incredibly helpful way and I have since bought it numerous times to comfort other people. One of the things I found most intriguing was how concepts such as the Kubler Ross model of the stages of grief are not actually scientifically founded. In other words we're clinging on to a model that is made up and doesn't actually reflect how most people respond. So, I was really excited to have the opportunity to speak to him. In this episode we talk about how resilience works and George's most recent book The End of Trauma (which in spite of the title is relevant to anyone and everyone). We discuss how normal resilience actually is and how our expectations of traumatic responses come from studying the more severe clinical cases rather than how the ‘average' person responds. George was not only in New York during the 9/11 attacks but actually went down to the site to help so he doesn't just speak from a scientific perspective but from one lived and breathed himself. But another perhaps surprising yet true fact is that we hugely over-estimated the number of people who would suffer from trauma even as a result of that horrific event. Why, well people are overwhelmingly resilient to adversity. What we often interpret as PTSD are signs of a natural process of learning how to deal with a specific situation. We can cope far more effectively if we understand how this process works, which we also discuss.  Bio - Dr. George Bonanno is a professor of psychology, chair of the department of counseling in clinical psychology, and director of the Loss, Trauma, and Emotion Lab at Teachers College Columbia University. Website: www.tc.columbia.edu/LTElab/Twitter: @giorgiobee  For more from me go to: https://fionamurden.comIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkMy book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd

We also discuss the subtlety of understanding our mental health and emotions. Giving in too much can actually lead to a dangerous negative spiral, but how it's equally damaging to ignore our distress or negative feeling feelings or not have any support in processing them. Psychology, the brain and behaviour are incredibly nuanced. Anna explains how being able to name our emotions and have a broad vocabulary for them can be surprisingly effective. She for example took it upon herself to find an array of words for anger (which by the way it's OK to feel, just not to act on – another nuance we chat about) which you can find below. Anna also explains how critical it is to build our own personal toolkit so that we have the right tools for different emotional responses in different contexts. Dr Anna Colton, is a chartered clinical psychologist and executive coach, specialising in the Adolescence, Eating disorders, the Bar, elite performance and stage fright.In addition to her adolescent, coaching and legal practices, Dr Anna has worked with the leads and casts of many West End shows, is the psychologist on Matilda the musical and consults to many other theatre companies. She also works with TV companies to ensure the psychological safety of participants in their shows.She can often be seen or heard on the TV and radio discussing a range of mental health and well-being topics.For more on Dr. Anna go to: www.dranna.co.ukFor more from me go to:www.fionamurden.com Anna's list of angry words are below: AngryAnnoyedAffrontedAgitatedAntagonisedBitter CantankerousCrossChafedConvulsedChokedCholericChurlishCrotchetyDisagreeableDispleasedEnraged ExasperatedFuriousFumingFerocious Fiery Fractious Fretful GalledGrumpy GrouchyHuffyHacked offHotHeated ImpatientIncensedIncandescentIndignantIll-humouredIll-tempered IrritableIrate IrritatedIrascibleInflamedInfuriated IrefulIrkedLividMadMaddenedMiffedNarkedNarkeyNettled Outraged OffendedPeevedPetulantPissedPissed off PiquedProvoked Put outRaging RantingRattyRaving Resentful Riled SoreSplenicSnappyStormingSullenSulky Stewing Tetchy Testy Turbulent Terrifying TumultWrathful Vexed  

Founder of KnowThyBrand, Giulia is a social entrepreneur dedicated to helping women in business to build sustainable ventures and career paths. She is mother of three boys who she is bringing up to respect women and bring their attention to what women can achieve “It's as important for boys to see women can do anything as it is to see men doing anything.” She role-models this approach in all she does and says, which is underpinned by both her drive for social justice and her ever inquisitive approach to understanding the world and her place in it. Giulia's social enterprise KnowThyBrand is committed to enabling women to build sustainable businesses and career paths through strategic branding and effective gender inclusion solutions. Their values, the guiding principles that shape everything we do as a social enterprise are:Equality – We believe in social equality and support women's equality and empowerment as part of the solution.Equity – We recognise that each person has different circumstances and that different resources and opportunities are needed to reach the same outcome.Sisterhood – We believe in the collective power of women working together and consistently inspiring each other to achieve their highest potential. For more from Giulia go to:https://knowthybrand.comhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/giulia-iannucci/ For more from me go to: https://fionamurden.com If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkMy book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd      

We discuss the importance of this type of longitudinal research (i.e. research that involves repeated observations of the same variables over periods of time) in understanding how the brain develops in children who have autism and other neurodevelopmental disabilities. As well as exploring Dr. Wu Nordahl's findings we also explore why there is less research carried out on girls and non-binary children with autism. With regard to girls this is in part because of their tendency to mask their natural tendencies and preferences socially meaning it's less often diagnosed, as a result research has predominantly been carried out on boys with autism. Dr. Wu Nordahl has worked really hard to improve the ratio of males to females in her cohorts helping to advance our understanding of some of the neurological nuances the sex differences represent. Christine's research program at the UC Davis MIND Institute utilizes structural and functional MRI scans to study brain development in autism across the life span. Since 2006, she has led neuroimaging efforts of the Autism Phenome Project and Girls with Autism - Imaging of Neurodevelopment study, two integrated longitudinal, interdisciplinary studies aimed at identifying clinically meaningful subtypes of autism. She is particularly committed to evaluating the entire autism spectrum, including girls with autism as well as the entire range of intellectual abilities. In 2021, she and her team initiated NeuroTeens, a social support group for neurodivergent girls and non-binary teens. 

Todd Kashdan is leading expert on the psychology of well-being, curiosity, psychological strengths, mental agility, and social relationships. His research has been featured in the Harvard Business Review, New York Times, and Forbes amongst many other publications. In 2010, he received the Distinguished Faculty Member of the Year Award at George Mason University and in 2013, he received the Distinguished Early Career Researcher Award by the American Psychological Association. His latest book, The Art of Insubordination, is for anyone who wants to see more justice, creativity & innovation in the world. He is also the author of Curious?, The Upside of Your Darkside, and Designing Positive Psychology. Todd's work is right at the front of my first book Defining You opening with how to keep your mind as open and flexible as possible in order to explore your own story. I approached Todd for permission to include his curiosity inventory and he very generously said yes. Todd has done some fantastic work from research to writing and his website https://toddkashdan.com/ is really worth exploring. We discuss ageism and how Todd says that he obsesses over social norms that are dysfunctional. Take for example Silicon Valley rebuffing the idea of giving anyone over the age of 25 a second look for job opportunities. How we don't have a cultural respect for our elders like in Asian cultures and if we did we that maybe we'd gain wisdom from the people right there in our families rather than having to refer to books. But Todd also raises how ageism is directed both ways – the older generations can dismiss the younger or refuse to learn and be inflexible to changes that are coming through. We need more cross-pollination of intergenerational thinking. We discuss false information and Todd explains how “the information that we're first exposed to is rarely right wherever that's from” yet we tend to take the view of people we perceive as socially attractive, and dismiss those who are not. When coming to a ‘point of view' Todd encourages us all to stop and ask ourselves these questions: What is the evidence for the position that I'm emotionally tied to right now?What is the best evidence for the alternative viewpoint?Why do I believe the evidence I hold near and dear?Why am I dismissing evidence to a counter point?What evidence would be required to change my mind?”By doing this we show intellectual humility, curiosity and perspective taking helping to play our part in making the world a better place to be.  Todd recently published a piece on ‘The 10 principles for having constructive conflict in organisations'. Something we need to do if we're to ensure diversity. We discuss how important this is in boardrooms to classrooms and Todd emphasizes how important it is to “allow people to disagree even as minorities of one, not because they might be right but just because it allows everyone to see like ‘oh maybe we are prematurely closing on one viewpoint too quickly.'”When it comes to the learning Todd comments on the strange societal attitude we have to learning. “The notion of living until you're in your 80s and 90s and yet you're done with formal education after college at the age of around 22. So for the next 40 years you just you wing it and you go into your silo in terms of your own individual searches for books and for information online.” And poses the question to you the listener of “What is the fundamental list of life skills that everyone should learn?” I'd love to know your thoughts.   

Tim has been presenting on live weekend TV for over 16 years and with over 1500 hours under his belt. He first became well known for hosting and producing Sky Sports football show Soccer AM over the course of eleven years. The show steadily grew in popularity and enjoyed cult viewing status - much is said to be much down to Tim's “dry wit and sense of humour”. After this he joined BBC Radio 5 Live as the Wednesday night host of a football show. He was on Celebrity Master Chef in 2011, has been a guest presenter on Blue Peter and co-presented the Sunday morning TV programme Something for the Weekend on BBC2. Tim also has a podcast called The Lovejoy Hour (I've even been a guest). The link for his podcast is below. You can tune into watch Tim on Channel4 (in the UK) 9.30am-11.30am every Sunday morning.  https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-lovejoy-hour/ For more from me follow these links: If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkMy book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores globally:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd Connect with me at:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden  

In October 2020 the total world population was 7.81 billion people, and a whopping 4.14 billion of those people were using social media. And the amount of time spent on social media is increasing, with the typical user now spending roughly 4 hours of their day (that's a quarter of our waking life) on social platforms. Social media has been described as more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol. Lou and I talk about the tricks of the social media giants trades from ‘intermittent reinforcements' such as the pull down to refresh feature to the way in which we end up relying on social media for our stored memories (known in the trade as investment). The tech giants really do steal our attention in exchange for commercial gain. We also chat about what you can do to make your own experience more positive. Part of the negative impact of social media on our well-being is that it takes us away from other activities that are essential to our brain health such as sleep and face-to-face social interaction. So the most obvious strategy to combat the impact of social media on your well-being is to give it a break or stop using it. But that's not the only option, try monitoring how much you use social media and exactly how it's impacting you. You may be surprised by the patterns that emerge. (For more on techniques for modifying your social media use to make it more healthy check out the Chapter 10 in the second edition of Defining You). Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via this link and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78 

Ahead of his new book on trauma coming out it's the main theme of our discussion with an explanation of how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can reach aspects that are otherwise so hard to treat. Russ explains how when people have experienced trauma and it is deeply held it's far more difficult to reach and heal through words. Although it's not impossible, it takes a lot longer and a match with the right therapist. While words can create pain, we don't experience pain in words. The ACT approach to trauma goes first to the body and emotions which enables a much quicker recovery leading to what is known as Post Traumatic Growth.  Links to Russ's books we refer to:The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living by Russ HarrisTrauma Focussed ACT A Practitioner's Guide to Working with Mind, Body, and Emotion Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy For more from us follow these links: If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via the link and in all good book stores. Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden Or for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78 

We look at the different aspects relating to heroism talking about how for example psychologist Frank Farley distinguishes two types of hero - "big H" heroism and "small h heroism." How being a hero doesn't mean being perfect in the same way that being a role-model relates to all of us in some way or another. We even consider whether you can become more heroic and if so what you need to do. Curious – take a listen to this week's episode. If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkConnect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78 

Maddy has appeared in sitcoms for BBC Three, BBC One, ITV and Channel 4. She's had four sell-out solo comedies at Underbelly, Gilded Balloon, Latitude Festival Main Stage, and the Soho Theatre. Maddy also wrote and starred in her own comedy for BBC Radio 4.Maddy has also been a speaker for over a decade, she was a panellist for The Guardian for International Women's Day, for Facebook and AllBright.She tweets @maddy_anholt.To buy Maddy's book go to:https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/maddy-anholt/ If you are need help or refuge please go to these links: UKhttps://www.refuge.org.ukhttps://www.womensaid.org.uk USA & Canadahttps://www.domesticshelters.orgAustraliahttps://www.womenscommunityshelters.org.auNew Zealandhttps://womensrefuge.org.nz 

Well does reframing work? The answer which is so often the way with psychology (and perhaps shouldn't be surprising given how complex we are) is complicated. It can be incredibly helpful but differs from positive thinking. While we all know we can't just think differently at the drop of hat, we often led to believe that we can. In fact, this can be hugely damaging to your mental health. We discuss why, and how you can use cognitive reframing in a way that can work for you. For more on this go to my first book (specifically the end of chapter 3 and chapter 9 of the 2nd edition) Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential: https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOr Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78

Perhaps unsurprisingly we discuss all things psychology and relationships. Well not all because there's soooo much to cover but I try. Rosie talks about spending five years with a girlfriend who was not out to her parents and the invisibility and hurt that entailed, to taking part in an experiment at Essex University's ‘Sex Lab' using what she has hilariously described as a ‘techno tampon' in order to measure her levels of sexual arousal. We also discuss the people who have influenced Rosie's comic capabilities, her role models and how she is perhaps unintentionally a role model herself – to young gay women yes, but also to anyone who has suffered the pain of a breakup. Do take a look at her latest book, it's well worth a read.  Check out the book at https://linktr.ee/breakupmonologues And you can follow Rosie on Twitter @rosiewilby or Instagram @breakupmonologues  For more from Fiona go to:https://fionamurden.com 

While Zal was one of the first employees at DoorDash helping it grow to its value of the $50 billion in 2021, he remains modest, down to earth and incredibly easy company. We talk about life growing up as a child in the San Francisco Bay Area, being there from the beginning of a startup which grew to be a giant, his Zoroastrian heritage, what family means to him and married life in London.There's so much more to discuss that he may come back for a second episode. For more from me (including info on my books) go to: https://fionamurden.com 

Cody Royle is currently the head coach of AFL Team Canada, the men's national program for Australian Rules football. Cody is also an author, international keynote speaker, podcast host, football coach. He currently coaches 13 head coaches from seven team sports in five different countries. Cody is a standout voice on how pro sports teams create sustained success. His widely-acclaimed debut book, Where Others Won't, is a go-to guide of easily-implementable leadership strategies that have been quality-tested by some of the world's most iconic and successful teams. The sustained success of the book initiated a podcast of the same name, which has reached the top 100 in four countries and maintains a 5-star rating on iTunes.Most recently, Cody has turned his attention to coach wellbeing and performance with his second book, The Tough Stuff, becoming a bestseller in Australia, Canada, the UK, and the United States. A native of Melbourne, Australia, Cody resides in Toronto, Canada with his wife. For more from Cody go to:https://www.codyroyle.com For more from me follow these links: If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkMy book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores globally:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrConnect with me at:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden   

Aidan is the host and founder of the Innovation Show, broadcast globally and on national radio stations in Ireland and Finland. He is author of the bestselling book "Undisruptable: A Mindset of Permanent Reinvention for Individuals, Organisations and Life" which includes a Foreword by Visa founder Dee Hock. “Aidan's presentation is visual, story rich and full of interesting analogies to bring concepts to life.”Aidan is a Change Consultant, Board Director and Executive Coach. He works with organisational teams to improve how they engage and innovate. He is a champion for change and has reinvented in his own career after rugby. Aidan worked in transformation for digital, innovation and now culture and leadership.Aidan played rugby over 100 times for Europe's most successful teams: Leinster and Toulouse and represented Ireland.He developed the digital eco-system for Communicorp Media Group, served as Head of Innovation for Ireland's National broadcaster and worked as an innovation consultant for Global company Katawave.Today he sits on the board of National Broadband Ireland, rolling out connectivity to the remotest parts of Ireland.He developed and delivers a module on Emerging Technology Trends in Trinity College Business School, ranked 1st in Ireland and in the top 100 globally.For more from Aidan go to:https://aidanmccullen.com For more from me follow these links: If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkMy book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores globally:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrConnect with me at:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden  

For example, we discuss how psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky who wrote The How of Happiness, says that about 50% of our baseline happiness level is down to genetics, but income only accounts for 10%.  The remaining 40% is about all about the “intentional activities” we undertake, such as giving back to others. We talk about what constitutes and ‘intentional activity' including prosocial behaviour. We even veer into a conversation about whether altruism is really about being truly good or making ourselves feel better. So, can money buy happiness or at least make us happy? Well, yes and no. We definitely need enough to cover our basic needs, but finding our purpose, giving back and connecting with others has a hugely powerful impact also.  There's more about finding your purpose (which doesn't require a penny of money but finding it will help you live a much more fulfilled life) in my book ‘Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential'. This can be found via the link below and in all good bookstores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book ‘Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.' https://bit.ly/MirrThink Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78

We also discuss a whole range of other areas of health and fitness including:What barriers do people face to getting fit and how can they overcome them?What's the impact of social media on our beliefs about exercise? While some people are inspired by what they see, many of the exercise influencers create a persona that people are unable to live up to. This can be extremely harmful and demotivating for many and from a psychological standpoint this means we don't have a realistic context for what we're trying to achieve for ourselves. Sarah and Lou discuss why it's so important to understand where we're are at personally, where our body is at and what our purpose is and keeping these front of mind as far as possible. The two types of motivation relating to exercise: intrinsic – which comes from within and extrinsic – comes from someone else motivating you. The trick of a trainer is to move the extrinsic to motivation to the inside so someone still has it once you're not there. When you find someone who can do that for you you're on to a winner. Sarah does this in more than one way but something that stands out is that her clients like her. She treats them as equals and with respect so they don't have a need to impress or desperately clammer for approval rather are driven by a genuine desire to work with her and even to please her.  About Sarah: Sarah Gorman is a personal trainer, fitness educator, class instructor who guides people on their health and fitness journey. She qualified as a Pilates instructor and, after moving to the Los Angeles decided to give her focus to the fitness industry and began furthering her repertoire further still. She trained in Boxing and Barre under some influential fitness gurus in LA and from there began to teach her own classes. She's worked with actors, celebrities prepping for roles and has worked on theatre and film choreography in London and across the USA.  She's also trained American football players, golfers and everyday folk like me in fitness taking you beyond your comfort zone in a way that's not uncomfortable - hard to explain but true. Sarah says “My drive is to continuously create new and inspirational classes that are at the cutting edge of the fitness industry, with the focus, very much, on energy and fun. My ambition is to bring my love and passion of the fitness industry to the widest audience available to me. I want to inspire people to feel empowered, strong and find a love of movement. Laughter, enjoyment and positive energy are at the heart of what I do.” Through her amazing mix of experience and application she has created her BlendFit method, providing an eclectic approach to fitness training; blending disciplines to create energetic and fun classes to get people strong, fit and healthy. By combining disciplines she effectively trains your entire body, and mind, enabling you to feel you have given focus to your whole self. For more from Sarah go to: https://sarahgorman.fit@sarahgormanblendfitwww.instagram.com/sarahgormanblendfit There's a questionnaire from the Centre for Disease Control (USA) exploring what your barriers to exercise may be and how to overcome them in my book ‘Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential'. This can be found via the link below and in all good bookstores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  ‘Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.' https://bit.ly/MirrThink Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78 

The New York Times article referred to can be found here:https://www.nytimes.com/guides/year-of-living-better/how-to-be-more-empathetic A full copy of the transcript will be on my website shortly:https://fionamurden.comPart of this episode was taken from my book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human which can be found here. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7HMy other book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOr Connect with me here:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden

There is no end point or goal, it's a process which Scott Eberle editor of the American Journal of Play describes as being somewhere in between a start and an end, an “in between [where] you find surprise, pleasure, understanding – as skill and empathy – and strength of mind, body and spirit.”  For more from us follow these links: If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7HMy book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOr Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78 

Sarah is a personal trainer, fitness educator, class instructor who guides people on their health and fitness journey. Her career started on stage in physical theatre and dance. When she had her first child she returned to university to study for a second degree, this time in teacher training from where she taught at The Brit School in London for a number of years. But that's not all – she had previously qualified as a Pilates instructor and, after moving to the Los Angeles decided to give her focus to the fitness industry and began furthering her repertoire further still. She trained in Boxing and Barre under some influential fitness gurus in LA and from there began to teach her own classes. She's worked with actors, celebrities prepping for roles and has worked on theatre and film choreography in London and across the USA.  She's also trained American football players, golfers and everyday folk like me in fitness taking you beyond your comfort zone in a way that's not uncomfortable - hard to explain but true. Sarah says “My drive is to continuously create new and inspirational classes that are at the cutting edge of the fitness industry, with the focus, very much, on energy and fun. My ambition is to bring my love and passion of the fitness industry to the widest audience available to me. I want to inspire people to feel empowered, strong and find a love of movement. Laughter, enjoyment and positive energy are at the heart of what I do.” Through her amazing mix of experience and application she has created her BlendFit method, providing an eclectic approach to fitness training; blending disciplines to create energetic and fun classes to get people strong, fit and healthy. By combining disciplines she effectively trains your entire body, and mind, enabling you to feel you have given focus to your whole self. Listen in to hear more about Sarah's fascinating story and go to  https://sarahgorman.fit Follow Sarah on Instagram at: @sarahgormanblendfit www.instagram.com/sarahgormanblendfit To connect with me go to: @fiona_murdenwww.instagram.com/fiona_murdenIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  ‘Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.' https://bit.ly/MirrThinkOr my how about my book ‘Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential' which can be found via the link below and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd  

We discuss the psychology of bias, why we have it and some of the impacts. We chat about the biases you may have, what impact they could have and how to really put yourself in the position of what it's like to have those preferences toward or prejudices against you. We also discuss ways in which companies could approach conscious bias training in order to provide more lasting outcomes on behaviour. And what you can do to help turn down the volume on your own biases.For more from us follow these links: If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7HMy book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOr Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78To take the implicit bias test follow this link: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ 

We're used to the rituals of athletes such as tennis player Nadal, who places his hair behind his ear, pulls his nose and adjusts his shorts while bouncing the ball before every point.  People have accused him of using this as a way to break the momentum of his opponents. But Nadal says that these routines are for his psychological benefits. And the research would suggest that this is true, for many of us, not just athletes. Rituals give us a sense of control when we're facing uncertainty. Research by Harvard psychologists Francesca Gino and Michael I. Norton suggest that engaging in rituals mitigates grief caused by both life-changing losses (e.g. such as the death of a loved one) through to the more mundane ones (e.g. losing a lottery).For more from us follow these links: My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7H Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78 Read more about Why Rituals Workhttps://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-rituals-work/  

According to psychologist Dr Jeffrey Arnett (whose work I also refer to in Defining You) these three areas define it:1. Taking responsibility for yourself which "generally means accepting the consequences of your actions without expecting anyone else...to protect you from those consequences." 2. Making independent decisions - "It's finding out who you are and how you fit into the world, and there is a range of decisions that go into that." 3. Having financial independenceThere's a period between 18 and 29 that Arnett described as Emerging Adulthood which has since been backed by neuroscientific research showing our brain continues to develop until our late 20s. For some though being an adult never seems to come. Lou and I discuss this and much more too in this week's episode of Dot to Dot.  For more from us follow these links: My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7H Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78 Thank you to Giles Paley-Phillips for the production of this episode.  Insider article referred to in this episode: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-3-things-that-make-you-an-adult-2016-1?r=US&IR=T

George caught my attention on twitter with his brilliant tweets (see below for his handle). Every day he posts so many questions – all so thought provoking that I often don't even answer them - I'm just left pondering. George who lives in Philadelphia USA has a brain that won't stop whirring which is where all of these fabulous, thought provoking posts come from. He explains how he started off just posting a few and began to love the positive and interesting comments and discussion that they provoked, bringing people together from all over the world. More about George - in his own words, ‘there are not enough books on sh*t disturbers. Hence, Dr. Styles endeavours to write on this topic, which sits next to his heart. "Somebody has to go against the grain... ...what would the world look like without a 2nd opinion?" he says. Despite his propensity for foolery and antics, he was able to get it together and obtain his PhD in Biochemistry in 2016.  He is also an avid composer of music, and is a fan of a wide variety of music genres.'   To follow George go to:https://twitter.com/geostylegeo For more from me follow these links: My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7H Connect with me on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden

We discuss the parallels between Olympic preparation and organisational leadership – but how in many ways organisations often know what to do but don't ‘walk the talk' in the way the teams who surround athletes do.  Lou explains why it's never a comfortable experience watching an athlete you've trained, why athletes have experienced and understood more things about themselves leading up to a Covid Olympics than any other and why we are set to see some incredible performances. Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78Or for Fi: Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden  

In the UK "we look back on the 2012 Olympic Games through gold-tinted glasses, 'Super Saturday' and an inspiring celebration of British athletics uniting the country. For a then 20-year-old Green, the suffocation of 80,000 fans and personal expectations became the starter pistol to understanding and dealing with the mental health struggles he had always known were there.” "If one thing got past my armour, I couldn't manage it because I'd say 'I'm not meant to feel this way because I'm meant to be a superstar, I'm meant to be this robot'. That's when I'd really struggle and when I'd break down.”"As soon as I accepted that I'm a human being and human beings feel things, as soon as I said 'OK, I can feel this way, I'm going to sit with it, embrace and accept it', it kind of took the power away from them. A big part for me that probably saved my life was accepting and embracing vulnerability,"We talk about the pressures put on athletes across all disciplines, how it can feel like you're not seen or supported until you're contender for a medal, and once you're not you're just as quickly forgotten. Jack now coaches athletes, including Tokyo-bound Italian sprinter Gloria Hooper. He explains how he uses a different approach with every person, working hard to understand not just their physical needs but how they interact with their psychological make-up. He also held the position of Head of Wellbeing at BBC Studios before joining Champion Health UK as head of Performance, taking and using his own learnings to help others. “My purpose is to help as many people be the best version of themselves because that is truly what high performance is all about. My philosophy is a very simple one: a happy athlete is a fast athlete. And I use this philosophy in all of my well-being work.” For more on Jack:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Green_(hurdler) For more from us follow these links: My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7H Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden Or for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78   

On this episode among other things we explore the importance mentors and role-models and how one small comment at the right or wrong time can send a young person's life off in a completely different direction. We also discuss Christine's upbringing and how she chose not to go to Oxford or Cambridge despite being destined - not through her upbringing - but her academic capability to go there. She decided it wasn't what she wanted and followed her interests instead of being drawn into the expectations of those heralded institutions.  I didn't know until we did this podcast that she has 8 A levels including the sciences. And yet she is open to hearing how other people view the world, listening to their take and perspective and offering her guidance. Christine Cross is a Chair, Independent Non Exec Director, Business Advisor and Mentor.She holds  Non-Executive Directorships with Coca Cola European Partners plc; Hilton food group plc; Clipper Logistics Plc and Zooplus AG and acts as Advisor to the Board of a number of  plc, private equity and private companies .  She has  served as NED on the Board of Next plc; Woolworths Limited (Australia);  Sobeys (Ca) plc; Plantasgen (Nor); Sonae plc (Portugal); Brambles plc (Australia); Kathmandu plc (New Zealand); Fenwick Ltd (UK):   Fairmont Hotels Group; Premier Foods and Taylor Wimpey. She was Chief Retail Advisor to PWC for 5 years. She particularly enjoys working with small growth businesses too and Chairs Oddbox, a sustainable produce business growing fast in the Uk; acts as Advisor to My First Years;  plus devotes time to being a Fellow at the RAU Enterprise Unit.Prior to ‘going plural'  Chris had a 15 year Executive career at Tesco having carried out a number of roles at Director Level.Latterly, as Group Business Development Director, she was involved in a programme of acquisitions. Prior to this her primary focus at Tesco was the establishment of a global direct sourcing operation  and the leadership of  Tesco's UK and International clothing business. She was also instrumental in developing and launching  the Tesco private label product range. Recruitment to Tesco was from a successful career in academia as Principal Lecturer and Course Director  at Bath and Edinburgh Universities. For more from Fiona follow these links: My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7H Connect with me on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden 

We chat about how it's interesting that now that we have research around psychological theory - whether it's through neuroscience or more applied research studies - we're seeing that many of these ancient approaches work. But remember that every technique will not work for everybody - so definitely give them a try, practice them with an open mind and see what works for you. There will be something that does but you have to try to be able to know for sure. Here's a summary of the 8 rules:     1) It's not events that cause us suffering, but our opinion about events.2) Our opinions are often unconscious, but we can bring them to consciousness by asking ourselves questions.3) We can't control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we react.4) Choose your perspective wisely.5) Habits are powerful. 6) Fieldwork is vital.7) Virtue is sufficient for happiness. 8) We have ethical obligations to our community. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/creating-in-flow/201311/8-ancient-rules-life-we-should-still-follow For more from us follow these links:  My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOr If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7H Connect with us/ask us any questions on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78

From Utah to LA, a band member to a Silicon Valley founder, a return to Utah and becoming an extraordinary guide to leaders on public speaking and beyond John has had and continues to have such an interesting journey. This week I make a few bad jokes about my height and being the pinnacle of John's career (if you know me, you also know this is the last thing I'd ever think but it I worry it may get lost in the English sarcasm). Unlike me John tells some genuinely funny stories and even shares his brilliant impression of Snoop Doggie Dog. John quotes back something he was told years ago -  "John if you get up on stage and you have your attention on yourself then you have your attention on a minor ball of petty concerns that have no real interest to anyone but you. However you get up onstage and you have your attention on your audience and the difference that you're going to make for them and the difference they are going to make with the people in their lives because of it well now you have your attention on something worth thinking about." We chat about a wonderful guy who John works with and I've got to know a little - a Senator who has flipped his belief system following a number of years helping out in a juvenile detention centre.  Howard is now deeply passionate about enabling kids from all backgrounds with the skills to reach reading age before they come into school, helping those who are disadvantaged to start on a more even playing field. For more on this amazing initiative go to:https://www.waterford.orgJohn relays the experience of not only training astronauts at NASA but also getting a 40 min phone call from space and his time spent helping Dolph Lundgren. I'm so chuffed to have met John and I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy him too. For John's book go to:https://www.amazon.com or https://www.amazon.co.ukAnd for more about him:https://executivespeakingsuccess.com For my book which we refer to a couple of times go to:https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7HAnd for my other book: https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrConnect with me on:Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden   

For more from us follow these links: My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdhttps://amzn.to/2lFMwOrIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book  Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human available at the links below and in all good book stores. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7H Follow us/ask us any questions on:Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78

We talk about Helen's own squiggly career which you can hear more about in her TEDx which she recorded in In January 2021 with Sarah. Both Helen and Sarah are living proof of the title of their talk ‘Why squiggly careers are better for everyone' and inspiring in their message. Prior to Amazing If she held leadership roles for Microsoft, Virgin and BP and was awarded the FT & 30% Club's Women in Leadership MBA Scholarship. Before making her way back to university friend Sarah to start up their incredibly successful business. She is mum to Henry and Madeleine and lives with her husband in Buckinghamshire. Helen also works as a Trustee for Working Families, a UK charity with a mission to support families and carers with their work and life commitments.  You can find her on Instagram @amazingif.  As for me – the second edition to my book Defining You – Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential is now out: https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdAnd if you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7HYou can find me on:My website: https://fionamurden.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurdenLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionamurden/   

Lou uses the example of the physical versus the psychological in sport. When an athlete goes to a physiotherapist who doesn't help them with a physical problem they move on to see another physiotherapist, but when they meet a psychologist that they doesn't click with they're likely to give up on psychology. This is common to how we all approach our physical versus our psychological health, struggling to understand how to navigate the complexities of our mind and behaviour. We scratch the surface on this complex topic and hopefully provide some useful tips for anyone not knowing where to start.  Therapists may be called:PsychotherapistCounsellorCounselling Psychologist Clinical Psychologist (for more on the types of therapist go to https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk and for more about the qualifications go to the bottom).  Within these practitioners may use different approaches e.g Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Cognitive Behavioural TherapyHumanistic – which includes Gestalt, Existential and client-centered therapyPsycho-dynamic or psycho-analytic Hypnotherapy(for more on the types of therapy go to https://nationalcounsellingsociety.org/counselling-directory/types-of-therapy)  A good site for searching for people in your area in the UK: (be sure to check their years of experience and their professional qualifications)https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counsellingAnd in other countries including the USA, Canada, Australia and Swedenhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/counsellors Reputed Professional Bodies (in the UK): British Psychological Society (BPS)https://www.bps.org.uk/public/find-psychologistHealth & Care Professions Council (HCPC)https://www.hcpc-uk.orgBritish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)https://www.bacp.co.ukNational Counselling Society (NCS) https://nationalcounsellingsociety.orgAssociation for Child & Adolescent Mental Health (ACAMH)https://www.acamh.org Wording for qualifications taken from Psychology Today: CPsychol - British Psychological Society - Chartered Member which is the highest distinction awarded to members of the British Psychological Society. A chartered member has postgraduate training, teaching experience and has completed psychology research to the doctoral level.MSc - Master of Science degrees are typically in science or technology. Many mental health professionals coming from a social sciences background earn a master of science degree.MBPsS – graduate members of the British Psychological Society who have completed an accredited undergraduate degree with high marks and have been admitted as members to the society. N.B. This on its own does not mean someone will have completed any training in how to treat people. HPCP Clin Psych - Health & Care Professions Council Clinical Psychologist. The HCPC regulates practitioner psychologists in the UK. A clinical psychologist determines a treatment programme addressing behavioural needs of their clients based on close collaboration with other healthcare providers.DCounsPsych - Doctorate in Counselling Psychology - a professional degree preparing graduates for practice in counselling psychologyPsychD - Doctor of Psychology - a professional degree preparing graduates for practice in clinical psychology

Ginny is a neuroscience expert and science communicator. She read Natural Sciences at Cambridge, but her main passion and expertise is in psychology and neuroscience, so she focuses on helping kids and adults understand our complex minds. Ginny says that “Science is fun and fascinating and ever changing, and I want to help everyone share in the joy of curiosity and exploration.”   ​Some of the things that Ginny said in this week's chat that stood out for me:“I find it amazing how much we still don't understand about this thing that controls everything we do”“Science can come across as something that's finished – it's this body of facts that we know about the world and I think telling kids and adults that there's so much more to be discovered can be really inspiring.”“It's actually behavioural change that can have a bigger impact on our lives at the moment than neuro science but it feels like neuroscience is the sexier option so anyone who is selling something tends always badge it as neuroscience.  And balance your hormones, take this supplement, we're going to retrain your brain. Just take anything that makes big claims on neuroscience needs to have big evidence and a lot of the time if they're trying to sell you something there's not.” The second edition to my award winning book Defining You – Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential is now out: https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThinkhttps://bit.ly/MirrorUSACanhttps://bit.ly/2ylrc7HFollow on:Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurdenAnd for Ginny: ginnysmithscience.comSocials: @GinnySmithScibraintasticscience.comSocials: @BraintasticSciAmazon Book link: Overloaded: How Every Aspect of Your Life is Influenced by Your Brain Chemicals: Amazon.co.uk: Smith, Ginny: Books Links to non-amazon shops here: www.ginnysmithscience.com/overloaded      

We explore the psychological and physiological need for hugs, how hard it has been for many people not being able to hug loved ones during lockdown, the importance of touch from birth to old age and our fundamental need for touch as a means of connection. To pre-order the second edition of my book Defining You (out on 27th May in UK, Sept rest of world) go to:https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEdFollow us/ask us any questions on:www.fionamurden.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurdenOr for LouInstagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78 

Grace Lindsay is a computational neuroscientist currently based at University College London. She completed her PhD at the Centre for Theoretical Neuroscience at Columbia University, where her research focused on building mathematical models of how the brain controls its own sensory processing. Before that, she earned a bachelor's degree in Neuroscience from the University of Pittsburgh and received a research fellowship to study at the Bernstein Center for Computational Neuroscience in Freiburg, Germany. She was awarded a Google PhD Fellowship in Computational Neuroscience in 2016. To find out more about Grace, her book and her work click on the following link:tinyurl.com/h9dn4bw7 To find out more about me, my books and my work go to:www.fionamurden.com  

As Lou says "Some might say 'to do lists' was a boring subject but actually the more you delve into it the more interesting and fascinating it gets because they have so many benefits. Which include increased productivity, increased confidence, greater focus, being more effective because you're writing things down and warming up your brain to actually achieve them, motivation.'  We discuss the way we use 'to do lists', individual differences, what the research tells us and how to use 'to do lists' optimally. We explore whether lists are helpful when it comes to longer ranger creative processes like writing a book, how they can be used to assist difficult conversations, using them as a mechanism to create reflective space, a reminder to look after health, well-being and relationships or simply remembering the things you need to get done.Do you write a 'to do list'? We'd love to know.  For Fiona's books - Defining You go to:http://bit.ly/DefiningYouIf you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into Fiona's more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human. https://bit.ly/MirrThink Follow us/ask us any questions on:Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murdenTwitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurdenFacebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden Or for LouInstagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78