Podcasts about behaviour

As our American friends enjoy Cyber Monday we are bringing you a repeat of an infortive interivew with Phinnah Chichi. Adolescence naturally comes with risk-taking, but for parents, it can feel like navigating a whole new world. Phinnah is a parenting consultant and coach who supports parents of tweens and teens as they move through these years together, strengthening their relationship instead of drifting apart. She's the author of The Parenting Teens Navigation System: Journeying Successfully Through the Changes and Challenges of Parenting Teenagers and provides courses, workshops, and community spaces for both parents and young people. For more resources, follow Phinnah at @parentingteenssolutions.This podcast is presented by The Common Parent. The all-in-one parenting resource you need to for your teens & tweens. We've uncovered every parenting issue, so you don't have too.Are you a parent that is struggling understanding the online world, setting healthy screen-time limits, or navigating harmful online content? Purchase screen sense for $24.99 & unlock Cat & Nat's ultimate guide to parenting in the digital age. Go to https://www.thecommonparent.com/screen-sense-ebook Follow @thecommonparent on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecommonparent/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joel steps into a classy Perth charity ball and somehow leaves the place looking like the aftermath of a soap opera finale. From swanning around in borrowed pearls with full Shiraz-auntie energy to vanishing for 45 minutes to write Big Brother jokes, the man was on a tear. He skipped queues, talked himself up like he was running the joint and bid against himself in the auction without realising he was the only bidder. By the time he hissed at a stranger on the way back to the drinks, the damage was done and the legend was born. The full story is messy, unhinged and absolutely worth hearing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

160. Eating Disorders vs. Obesity-Related Eating Behaviours (Part 1) In today's episode, I walk through the spectrum of disordered eating — from everyday overeating to clinically significant eating disorders like binge eating disorder and bulimia nervosa. I explain how these behaviours differ, where they overlap, and why so many people feel confused about their relationship with food. I also cover the science behind appetite, reward pathways, and why some individuals are more vulnerable than others. This episode will help you understand the foundations before we dig deeper next week! WORK WITH ME The Menopause Solution Coursehttps://www.sashahighmd.com/the-menopause-solution Health Coaching Program for women, Best Weighthttps://www.sashahighmd.com/bestweight Recover Strong for Binge Eatinghttps://www.sashahighmd.com/bed Ontario-Wide Virtual Obesity Management Clinichttps://www.highmetabolicclinic.com

As our American friends enjoy Cyber Monday we are bringing you a repeat of an infortive interivew with Phinnah Chichi. Adolescence naturally comes with risk-taking, but for parents, it can feel like navigating a whole new world. Phinnah is a parenting consultant and coach who supports parents of tweens and teens as they move through these years together, strengthening their relationship instead of drifting apart. She's the author of The Parenting Teens Navigation System: Journeying Successfully Through the Changes and Challenges of Parenting Teenagers and provides courses, workshops, and community spaces for both parents and young people. For more resources, follow Phinnah at @parentingteenssolutions.This podcast is presented by The Common Parent. The all-in-one parenting resource you need to for your teens & tweens. We've uncovered every parenting issue, so you don't have too.Are you a parent that is struggling understanding the online world, setting healthy screen-time limits, or navigating harmful online content? Purchase screen sense for $24.99 & unlock Cat & Nat's ultimate guide to parenting in the digital age. Go to https://www.thecommonparent.com/screen-sense-ebook Follow @thecommonparent on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecommonparent/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that leave children unprotected.If you've been told "he's done the program, so things are safe now" or "you have Final Orders, so everything should be fine" – this episode is essential listening.Danielle Black breaks down the research on why:• Behaviour change programs show mixed evidence for sustained change in coercive control patterns• Online parenting courses cannot measure relational accountability• Final Orders prioritise system closure over ongoing child safety• Calendar-based contact progression ignores children's actual developmental needs• The family law system systematically mislabels coercive control as "high conflict"TOPICS COVERED:✓ Why completion certificates don't equal transformation✓ The online course problem and lack of accountability✓ How the Australian family law system prioritises "finality" over safety✓ What Final Orders DON'T solve (spoiler: most of the ongoing control)✓ Life after Final Orders - the reality no one prepares you for✓ Why capacity building and radical acceptance are lifelong tools, not just for during litigation✓ The hard truth: no one is coming to save you (and why that's actually empowering)RESEARCH REFERENCED: Dr Julie Blake (University of Queensland - physiological impacts on children), ANROWS (Australian research on post-separation abuse), Australian Law Reform Commission Family Law Review, Professor Jennifer McIntosh (child development and trauma recovery), AIFS (Australian Institute of Family Studies)PERFECT FOR:Protective parents navigating Australian family law, parents with Final Orders still experiencing control, anyone told to "just co-parent," parents being pressured to accept behaviour change certificates as proof of safety, professionals working with separated families.BLACK FRIDAY: Until midnight December 12 -  $300 off The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ + complimentary AI Danielle access. Making evidence-based protective parenting knowledge accessible to more Australian families. Visit danielleblackcoaching.com.auAbout Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

in the latest episode of Friday Workplace Briefing, Andrew and Nina discuss one of the most timely and challenging issues facing employers today: privacy and out-of-work behaviour — and when it crosses the line into disciplinable conduct. They explore the new case of Margetts v State of Queensland (Queensland Health) (No 2), which clarifies the limits of the landmark case of Rose v Telstra involving out of hours conduct. Interestingly, this case goes against the trend and establishes that employers do not have a right to act on out-of-hours behaviour if there is no causal link to the employment relationship, the business, or its reputation. Tune in to learn how these legal thresholds apply today, and how to navigate the tricky intersection between employee privacy and employer protection. To view the full episode and catch up with the week’s latest news and developments, please visit this link.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Traditional Managers autopilot there way through business - particularily through their behaviours and decisions. They operate from assumptions and 'certainties' that haven't been challenged for a very long time.When we Lead from the Heart, we want as many people as possible challenging as many realities as possible, contriburing as much pertinent information as possible and collaborately making the best decsions for the organisation as possible...Dream Dare Dazzle

In this conversation, Ben Reiman interviews Olga Serbo, a board-certified behaviour analyst, about her journey into the field of behaviour analysis and her experiences working with children on the autism spectrum. Olga shares her insights on cultural differences in perceptions of autism between Moldova and the U.S., the challenges families face in seeking support, and her efforts to improve ABA services in Moldova through education and community building. The discussion highlights the importance of acceptance, understanding, and advocacy for individuals with autism and their families. Watch on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2LjGd0DCHrzNMXptOrGU1L?si=I0lGEendSWGzgGOBg8ed3Q Continuing Education Credits (https://www.cbiconsultants.com/shop) BACB: 1.0 Ethics IBAO:  1.0  Cultural QABA: 1.0  General CBA:    1.0  Cultural Diversity  Follow us! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/behaviourspeak/ LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/behaviourspeak/ Contact: https://autismfamilia.ro/despre/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5fgvqlOXJTVSvwZygwEiIA/videos https://autismadvance.com/ Related Behaviour Speak Episodes Episode 234 Behaviour Analysis in Croatia and Montenegro with Rea Vuksan https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-234-behaviour-analysis-in-croatia-montenegro-with-rea-vuksan-mads-scid-bcba-iba/ Episode 229 Behaviour Analysis in Kyrgyzstan with Dr. Anastasiia Iun https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-229-behavior-analysis-in-kyrgyzstan-with-dr-anastasiia-iun/ Episode 216 Behavior Analysis in Slovenia with Maja Simnjanovski https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-216-behavior-analysis-in-slovenia-with-maja-simnjanovski/ Episode 191: Behaviour Analysis in Belarus with Анна Калиновская, M.A., BCBA, IBA (Hanna Kalinouskaya) https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-191-behaviour-analysis-in-belarus-with-hannakalinouskaya-bcba-iba/ Episode 184: Behavior Analysis in Ukraine with Alla Moskalets https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-184-behavior-analysis-in-ukraine-with-alla-moskalets/ Episode 175 Autism in Serbia with Dr. Marija Čolić https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-175-autism-in-serbia-with-dr-marija-colic/ Episode 38: What We Can Do About Stigma and Racism Using Behaviour Science with Dr. Marija Čolić https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/episode-38-what-we-can-do-about-stigma-and-racism-using-behaviour-science-with-dr-marija-colic-phd-bcba-d/

Ep 52: According to bettercare.ie Dyspraxia/DCD is estimated to affect 6–10% of the population in Ireland, with many cases going undiagnosed due to varied symptoms and limited awareness. In an article published on RTE.ie the Department of Education report that about 1 in 20 schoolchildren in Ireland are now diagnosed with autism, which represents a threefold increase in under a decade. Referrals for autism assessments have more than doubled in the last five years, with some services reporting up to 300% increases in requests. This surge is largely attributed to greater awareness, improved diagnostic practices, and reduced stigma.In this episode we explore an inspiring story and talk to someone who teaches practical solutions which make a real difference in people's lives, our guest, Brenda Cassidy, founder of the Braincalm Institute™.Brenda's journey began with a deeply personal mission: helping her own child overcome anxiety and sensory challenges while waiting months—or even years—for formal diagnoses and medication. Drawing on her expertise as an Occupational Therapist, Brenda developed the Braincalm™ Programme, a simple yet powerful approach that helps children and teens (and even adults) become focused, calm, and able to self-regulate their behaviour.What started as a mother's determination has grown into a movement. Since launching the original programme in 2015 and founding the Braincalm Institute in 2021, Brenda has empowered thousands of parents and trained over 5,000 school staff across Ireland and beyond. Her work is transforming classrooms and homes by giving adults the tools to support children with sensory issues and emotional regulation challenges.In this episode, we'll dive into Brenda's story of necessity, the background of Braincalm™, and how her practical strategies are changing lives every day. If you are struggling to get a diagnosis or help a child with challenges which make it difficult for them to regulate their behaviour, such as Dyspraxia, ADHD, Autism, then listen in - the Braincalm programme is helping people to feel calmer, more confident, and ready to thrive. At the end of the episode, I suggest some calming snacks and explain how they help and the store cupboard staple is nutritious and delicious hummus!ResourcesBrenda's website www.braincalminstitute.comBraincalm Programme https://www.braincalminstitute.com/programmeBrenda's Book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Funpraxia-childhood-step-step-programme-ebook/dp/B01L0MEEP8https://bettercare.ie/insights/dyspraxia-guide-diagnosis-treatment-support/https://www.rte.ie/news/upfront/2025/0414/1507654-examining-the-rise-in-adhd-and-autism-diagnoses/https://educationelephant.ie/the-rise-in-autism-adhd-diagnoses-a-crisis-or-a-breakthrough/https://www.lynsharkeynutrition.ie/2021/10/22/basil-black-pepper-hummus/Healthy Hummus recipes https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/health/healthy-food-guides/best-healthy-hummus-recipesThe Encylopaedia of Healing Foods by Dr Michael Murray, Dr Joseph Pizzorno with Lara Pizzorno MA, LMTMusic composed by cascreativearts, copyright Lyn Sharkey Nutrition. Lyn's website www.lynsharkeynutrition.ie

The Education Brief: Wednesday 26 November 2025 - Top stories include:A school in Camden offers parents ‘attendance awareness courses' instead of issuing fines, and three-quarters of participating families have seen attendance rise.Ofsted will resume routine inspections in state schools from 1 December.Male secondary headteachers earn £5,000 more a year than their female counterparts on average.Teachers get a far poorer maternity deal than many other public sector workers.Many councils are unable to say how many home-educated children are subject to child protection enquiries, raising safeguarding issues.HEP Updates:Book sessions on the https://hepbookinghub.co.uk/ https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/hep-inclusion-send-conference-2026-neurodiversity-in-the-classroom-tickets-1758147629889https://haringeyeducationpartnership.co.uk/responding-to-a-cry-for-help-additional-resource-bases-in-schools/https://haringeyeducationpartnership.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Using-Multimedia-in-the-Classroom-Teacher-Flyer.pdfWatching - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyYhKHOxFvkListening - https://educationrickshaw.com/2025/11/10/s5e08-doug-lemov-on-what-to-do-and-active-observation-techniques/Reading - https://carlhendrick.substack.com/p/is-a-noisy-classroom-a-thinking-classroomAI Tool - https://fdslive.oup.com/www.oup.com/oxed/secondary/Teaching_the_AI_Native_Generation.pdf⁠Music by Slo Pony⁠

How's Tricks Bookshelvers!?In this much-anticipated episode, Nat and Steve are finally joined by the amazing Suzanne Rogers (editor of Canine Behaviour in Mind) to discuss this essential book that's been, criminally, flying under our radar since 2022 (especially as it features a chapter from our very own "Sista Behaviourista")!Suzanne discusses the fascinating process of curating a multi-author book, ensuring a cohesive, non-judgmental thread runs through every chapter, and why it's crucial to amplify voices that promote high animal welfare. We also have some very special guests peppered throughout.We dive into:The critical importance of a non-judgmental stance in dog training and behaviour work.Practical tips from co-author Nat's chapterThe concept of "sparking curiosity" (rather than just awareness) to drive genuine behaviour change.How to build "behavioural momentum" in training—for both dogs and their people.And, as mentioned above, absolute gold-standard audio contribution from many of the books contributors including pod friends Tamsin Durston and Amber Batson on making training practical and fun.If you are curious about applying behavioural science to your life with dogs, this episode is a must-listen!What are you waiting for? Woof away!LINKS:Buy Canine Behaviour In MindHuman Behaviour Change for Life PACT CTIC Dog Trainer Course

In this episode, we explore the role of goal-setting and purposeful behaviour in Buddhist contemplative practice. While many traditions emphasize letting go, Buddhist training is also deeply structured by intentionality, effort, and purposeful cultivation. Nadav Amir brings a computational neuroscience perspective to these questions, examining how minds generate goals, how agency emerges, and how these processes relate to frameworks from early Buddhist epistemology and ethics. Together, we discuss paradoxes of striving, the tension between effort and non-attachment, and what modern neuroscience can tell us about intention on the contemplative path.

Ever had that moment where your reward system just… stops working? The stickers lose their sparkle, the house points barely register, and suddenly every child in your class is asking, “What do I get if I follow the rules?” It's frustrating, it's exhausting, and it leaves you wondering what on earth to try next.In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we unpack why reward systems lose power over time – and what the science of motivation says we should be doing instead. We'll explore the hedonic treadmill, reward inflation, and the classic study that shows how easy it is to accidentally kill intrinsic motivation in children. And we'll look at why transactional “tit for tat” systems can be especially damaging for pupils with SEMH and SEND needs.Then we'll dig into what actually works long-term. You'll learn how to build behaviour that lasts, how to make motivation stick even when there's a supply teacher in the room, and how to transition away from over-reliance on stickers and points without causing a classroom riot.If you want your pupils to behave well because it's who they are – not because they think they'll earn a token, house point, Dojo and sticker – this episode is for you.Important links:Get your copy of the Classroom Management Scoresheet: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/classroom-management-scoresheetDownload other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resourcesNEW and FREE: Live in-person ADHD training for SENCOs and school leaders in WalsallAre the teachers in your school struggling to meet the needs of your pupils with ADHD? Then register for this free, face-to-face training and support session for school leaders and SENCOs in and around Walsall. You'll leave this session with more than just theory – we'll give you a ready-to-use toolkit to use in your school that helps you calm classrooms, boost focus and more effec

Play is not a luxury—it's a biological necessity. From early childhood through adulthood, play fuels cognitive growth, emotional resilience, social competence, and physical development. This article and podcast episode explore why play matters, how it shapes learning, and what educators and caregivers must consider to protect and promote it. Read the article here: https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/why-play-how-to-make-play-an-essential-part-of-early-education/   This episode is sponsored by Funding Loop   Funding Loop automates the process for nurseries of collecting funding forms from parents and typing that information into council portals. Funding Loop is used by over 2000 nurseries including over 80% of the top 25 nursery chains in the UK including Busy Bees.   To find out more visit: https://www.fundingloop.co.uk/home   Our 2026 conference info & tickets: https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/early-years-conference-2026/   Listen to more: If you enjoyed this episode, you might also like: ·       Elevating children's thinking: Conceptual understanding through inquiry and play, by Sue Tee - https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/elevating-childrens-thinking-conceptual-understanding-through-inquiry-and-play/ ·       Advocacy, agency and rights in early childhood, by Dr Jo Albin-Clark and Dr Nathan Archer - https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/advocacy-agency-and-rights-in-early-childhood/   Get in touch and share your voice: Do you have thoughts, questions or feedback? Get in touch here! – https://thevoiceofearlychildhood.com/contact/   Episode break down: 00:00 – Welcome and episode introduction 01:36 – Framing the central question: why play? 02:37 – Play as nature's plan for learning and why sitting harms 04:11 – Parental pressure, misinformation and the 'earlier is better' myth 05:03 – A global pushdown of academics in early childhood (US and UK) 05:47 – Educators torn between child development knowledge and policy demands 06:29 – Policymakers' power and Alfie Kohn's analogy 08:22 – Losing play from five onwards and revisiting child development 09:41 – Free play as child-initiated, child-chosen learning 10:24 – Guided play and supporting self-regulation (the statues game) 11:17 – Joy, fun and intrinsic motivation in learning 11:45 – Outdoor, nature and cooperative play versus competition 13:37 – The brevity of childhood and 'what is the hurry?' 14:24 – Knowing when to step back in children's conflicts 15:49 – Understanding and valuing rough and tumble play 16:07 – Risky or adventurous play and learning to assess risk 17:39 – Reading cues for when to intervene in rough and tumble play 18:33 – Rethinking 'calm down' and supporting different arousal states 20:22 – Play as a way to express and process emotions 21:47 – Co-creating rules, personal space and managing movement and sound 23:16 – Developmental readiness for sitting still (around six) 24:10 – Unrealistic expectations of three-year-olds (sitting still and pencil grip) 24:47 – Behaviour as a response to developmental mismatch and lack of movement 25:22 – Fidgeting, movement and alternative ways of paying attention 27:11 – Children who 'don't know how to play' and aggressive play 28:54 – Modelling, scaffolding and gently redirecting play 29:36 – Using invitations and provocations to deepen play 31:55 – 'Play Matters' and reconnecting with theory, research and advocacy 33:32 – Remembering our own childhood joy as a guide for practice 35:35 – Big body play, physical health and strong bodies 36:27 – Integrating literacy and maths through active, playful experiences 37:04 – Multi-sensory, embodied learning and why it sticks 39:13 – Play as integrated, holistic learning across content areas 40:39 – Reflective questions for educators about honouring play 41:33 – Small steps for change and everyday acts of advocacy For more episodes and articles visit The Voice of Early Childhood website: https://www.thevoiceofearlychildhood.com

The episode centres on the application of behavioural science, particularly the work of Bass Wouters and Dr. Robert Cialdini, to marketing, sales, and lead generation, emphasising how small, costless changes can lead to massive results.Key Topics Discussed:Behavioural Science vs. Market Research: Bass Wouters explains that behavioural science is fact-driven research on how humans actually make choices, contrasting it with traditional market research where people often inaccurately predict what will influence their behaviour. Case studies, such as the social proof message on UK tax payments and hotel towel reuse, demonstrated that appeals based on what peers are doing are far more persuasive than rational or environmental appeals.Daniel Kahneman's System 1 and System 2: The discussion explores Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman's concept of two decision-making systems:System 1: The fast, instinctive, shortcut-based brain that makes the vast majority (90-98%) of decisions.System 2: The slower, rational, effortful brain.Wouters emphasises that persuasive efforts should focus on triggering System 1, which "runs the show," rather than System 2, which is targeted by rational arguments.BJ Fogg's Behavioral Model: The Fogg Behavioral Model is introduced as a framework for designing desired behaviour. Behaviour occurs when three factors converge at the same moment: Motivation, Ability (ease of the action), and a Prompt (trigger). Bas notes that most people incorrectly push for more motivation when they should be focusing on increasing ability (making the action easier) and ensuring the prompt occurs at the right moment (when motivation is high).The Power of Conciseness ("Word Jenga"): Wouters discusses the concept of "Word Jenga"—removing unnecessary words to reduce mental effort. Case studies show that shortening copy, even from three sentences to one, can lead to significant conversion increases (e.g., 46% increase on a landing page). They suggest communicating digitally with the simplicity required for System 1, which is compared to speaking to a "child of seven."Online Influence Lab and Workshop:Bass Wouters announces the launch of the Online Influence Lab on October 9th and a free workshop focused on practical, real-life case studies demonstrating how to design a winning prompt, increase ability, and boost motivation. He uses the case of "the Dutch Amazon" (bol.com) increasing product reviews by 400% as a workshop example. The online presence for the work is at onlineinfluence.com. Brought to you by the team at The Lead Engine who specialise in generating mortgage leads.

What if the way you argue with your partner or push yourself at work isn’t actually yours - but something you absorbed decades ago? In this Quick Win, I’m joined by educator and author Lael Stone, who explains how the stories we inherit in childhood silently shape our beliefs about relationships, money, and success. Lael calls these “imprints” - and once you start recognising them, you can finally begin to choose your own patterns instead of replaying old ones. Lael and I discuss: What “imprints” are and how they form through family dynamics. The surprising ways childhood beliefs can dictate our career choices and relationships. Why understanding our imprints helps us break unconscious habits. How to recognise when fear or loyalty to family stories is keeping us stuck. The freeing realisation that changing your story isn’t disloyal—it’s growth. KEY QUOTE “A lot of the imprints we have are deeply unconscious. We don’t even know they’re there.” Connect with Lael Stone on Instagram, LinkedIn and her website, and check out her latest book Own Your Story. Listen to the full conversation with Lael here. My latest book The Health Habit is out now. You can order a copy here: https://www.amantha.com/the-health-habit/ Connect with me on the socials: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanthaimber Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amanthai If you are looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at https://amantha-imber.ck.page/subscribe Visit https://www.amantha.com/podcast for full show notes from all episodes. Get in touch at amantha@inventium.com.au Credits: Host: Amantha Imber Sound Engineer: The Podcast Butler See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do governments rely on coercion and punishment when voluntary cooperation often produces better, more sustainable outcomes?Episode SummaryOn this episode, I'm joined once again by Professor Yuval Feldman, who returns to explore the core question behind his latest book: Can The Public Be Trusted? Instead of asking how much we trust our governments, Yuval flips the script, asking how much governments trust us, and whether that trust is deserved. Together, we dive into the concept of voluntary compliance, where people follow rules not because they're forced to, but because they believe in doing the right thing. We unpack the complexity of this idea through real-world examples, from tax compliance to environmental policy to COVID-19 interventions. Yuval explains why people who think they're ethical can actually be the hardest to regulate, and how misplaced trust can lead to serious regulatory blind spots. We also explore the psychological tension between intrinsic motivation and external enforcement, and why regulators often default to command-and-control, even when trust might offer a better solution. As ever, Yuval makes nuanced, sophisticated ideas feel accessible and immediately relevant. You'll hear about the role of culture, the limits of nudging, why economists might (sometimes!) actually be right about human behaviour and how AI might help policymakers make better decisions. Guest BioProfessor Yuval Feldman is a legal scholar and behavioural scientist at Bar-Ilan University in Israel. A returning guest and the podcast's very first interviewee, Yuval is internationally renowned for his work at the intersection of law, psychology, and behavioural economics. His new book, Can The Public Be Trusted? The Promise and Perils of Voluntary Compliance is available open-access via Cambridge University Press (link below).AI-Generated Timestamped Summary[00:00:00] Introduction: why this question of “can the public be trusted?” matters for regulation and risk[00:03:42] Yuval's personal background: how he came into law + psychology and the origin of his VComp lab[00:09:15] Defining voluntary compliance: what it means, how it differs from coercion[00:14:52] Intrinsic motivation vs crowding out: when good intentions are undermined by heavy‑handed regulation[00:21:30] Designing regulatory systems for trust: frameworks and features that support voluntary compliance[00:27:47] Case study: Covid‑19 and public cooperation—what we learned about trust, compliance and enforcement[00:34:10] Tax compliance as a trust test: how citizens respond when they believe the system treats them fairly[00:39:58] Environmental regulation and the limits of voluntary strategies: when culture or technology create barriers[00:45:22] Cross‑cultural & technological dynamics: how digital reputation, culture and platforms impact compliance[00:50:05] The perils of voluntary compliance: when trust can be misplaced, manipulated or simply ineffective[00:55:30] Final reflections: what this means for risk professionals, policymakers and anyone designing systems of human behaviour[01:00:12] Closing: how to reframe regulation to see the public not as a risk but as a resource.LinksYuval's academic profile -  https://law.biu.ac.il/en/feldmanHis profile on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/yuval-feldman-21942514/ His open-access book Can the Public Be Trusted? (Cambridge University Press) – https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/can-the-public-be-trusted/B3E11831E3051D4E928B9252B6767A4BYuval's previous appearances on the show On The Law of Good People or ‘why we should write rules for good people not bad people' (2019) - https://www.humanriskpodcast.com/professor-yuval-feldman-on-why/ On Trust & Voluntary Compliance (2022) - https://www.humanriskpodcast.com/professor-yuval-feldman-on-trust-compliance?

Today on Behaviour Speak, I'm joined by three Filipino behaviour analysts, Kathryn Mendoza, Kristine Gomez, and Kaye Castillo, who share their personal journeys into the field of Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) and the formation of the Professional Behaviour Analysts Association of the Philippines. They discuss the challenges they face in promoting ABA, the importance of cultural context and ethical standards, and the need for accessible funding for services. The conversation also highlights their efforts to support Filipino practitioners both locally and abroad, as well as their future goals for the association. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/si_AMMS45ZA Continuing Education Credits (https://www.cbiconsultants.com/shop) BACB: 1.0 Ethics IBAO:  1.0  Cultural QABA: 1.0  General CBA:    1.0  Cultural Diversity  Follow us! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/behaviourspeak/ LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/behaviourspeak/ Contact: Professional Behavior Analysts Association of the Philippines https://pbaap.org/About-us/ https://www.facebook.com/pbaap.inc/ Kathryn Mendoza https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathryn-mendoza-8150587a/ Kristine Gomez https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristinegomez-bcba/ Razelle Kaye Castillo https://www.linkedin.com/in/razelle-kaye-fulgueras-2a68aa26/ Links: Southeast Asia Applied Behavior Analysis Conference https://www.linkedin.com/company/sea-abac/posts/?feedView=all https://www.instagram.com/sea.abac/ Related Behaviour Speak Episodes Episode 188: Incorporating Filipino Values in Behavioral Health with Dr. Pauline Pablo https://www.behaviourspeak.com/e/incorporating-filipino-values-in-behavioral-health-with-dr-pauline-tolentino-pablo-dbh-bcba/

Hi guysss!! It is so cold outside atm ❄️

US President Donald Trump has accused Democratic legislators who urged members of the armed forces to disobey unlawful orders of sedition and suggested they should face the death penalty.Also on the programme: a journalist who has followed the Epstein story for years tells us what might be in the files to be released; and American filmmaker Wes Anderson on the pros and cons of AI in the movies. (Photo: President Trump gestures after speaking during a meeting of senior military leaders at Marine Corps Base Quantico in Quantico, Virginia on September 30, 2025. Credit: Reuters)

There are some things that get under the skin of your directs, they make you a poor leader and a bad manager. They are also behaviours which will not deliver results and will lead to poor performance. But all is not lost, have a listen to this weeks show on how you can spot the top 5 worst management behaviours. I will also give you tips how to reduce your bad habits.Please send any feedback or questions to managermattpodcast@gmail.com

In our latest podcast, David Hossack and Ellen Grant discuss some recent case examples which demonstrate the importance of ensuring that medical conditions are taken into consideration by employers during disciplinary investigations.

Whether you're wrapping up the year in Australia (hi, me too!) or heading into Thanksgiving mode, this one's for the teachers out there who want to keep the vibe high, the connection strong, and the behaviour smooth as the term winds down.In this episode, I'm giving you a front seat to the actual gratitude-based activities I use with my own students when things start taking an energetic nosedive! We're talking:

When pupils show persistent, emotionally escalated behaviour, it's easy to focus on the surface - the shouting, the refusal, the walking out  - and miss the real cause.In this episode, you'll learn how to use the PAIN framework (Physical, Emotional, Cognitive, Social, Prosocial, and Transition needs) to help your pupils make progress with their SEMH needs. You'll follow the story of Liam, an 11-year-old pupil whose behaviour seemed oppositional - until the PAIN lens revealed hidden what was happening below the surface and driving his behaviour.You'll discover:How to identify unmet needs using the PAIN framework – and use this to pick the right support strategies for your studentsWhy those needs can mimic “defiance” and “chosen behaviour”How to replace traditional behaviour plans with proactive regulation plans that prevent crises before they startIf you've ever thought, “I've tried every strategy, and nothing works,” this episode will show you how to think like an SEMH specialist - and how the PAIN framework can transform your understanding of your student's behaviour.Important links:Get our FREE SEND Behaviour Handbook: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/send-handbookDownload other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resources

While tracking White-tailed Deer at Mono Cliffs with the Earth Tracks apprenticeship, we saw lots of signs of the rut and the subtle ways deer communicate. We studied three main signs: scrapes, rubs and lick branches. Together, these clues form a multisensory language of scent, sight, and even ultraviolet signals that share details of identity, territory, and mating readiness. These clues along the trail are a real insight into how deer express themselves across the landscape in ways most of us overlook.To learn more : Ep. 256 : Apple Scat of Coyotes and Red FoxGlands on a White-tailed Deer Leg - I copied a lot of my information from that post and used it here as well.Appearances can be Deceiving by Dan Strickland from The Raven talks about… DEER & MOOSE. The Friends of Algonquin Park, 2003. Stokes Guide to Animal Tracking and Behaviour by Donald and Lillian Stokes, Little, Brown and Company, 1986.Field & Stream : The Total Deer Hunter Manual by Scott Bestul & Dave Hurteau. Bonnier, 2013.Rubs and Scrapes Glow Like Highway Reflectors to a Deer's Eyes by Lindsay Thomas Jr. Deer (The Wildlife Series, Book 3) edited by Duane Gerlach, Sally Atwater & Judith Schnell. Stackpole Books, 1995.The Deer of North America by Leonard Lee Rue III. Lyons Press, 1997.Naturekind : Language, Culture & Power Beyond The Human by Melissa Leach and James Fairhead. Princeton University Press, 2025.Eavesdropping on Animals by George Bumann. Greystone Books, 2024.

In a special celebratory 30th episode, Graham and Chris countdown their favourite 30 Pet Shop Boys songs - each a new excuse to fall down the usual rabbit holes of stories and memories! Girls Aloud, Tom Watkins, Dame Anna Neagle, Zelda Fitzgerald, Trevor Horn, TS Eliot and Kermit the Frog each make an appearance, and there's also time to reappraise those negative reviews of Behaviour, the collapse of the music industry and - you know you really want it - the actual secrets of sexual attraction. But first - the real challenge: agreeing a joint list!   Want to show your love for the Pet Shop Boys In Depth podcast?  Visit our new Crowdfunder - anything appreciated! Get your name mentioned in a future episode: https://gofund.me/cf16f4bc3 Check out our T-shirt store - all profits from our exclusive designs go towards supporting the podcast: https://in-depth.teemill.com And there's additional In Depth content on our social media channels: Facebook: http://tiny.cc/3jhcvz Bluesky: http://tiny.cc/jc7h001 X: http://tiny.cc/lc7h001

Welcome to About Sustainability…, a podcast brought to you by the Institute for Global Environmental Strategies (IGES).In this episode, hosts Dwayne Appleby and Alice Yamabe are joined by Philipe Bujold, Senior Behavioural Scientist at Rare's Centre for Behaviour & the Environment. The Center for Behavior & the Environment (BE.Center) at Rare is an international non-profit that works to put behavioural science into practice, applying behavioural insights and design thinking to address issues such as climate change, coastal overfishing, plastic pollution, and biodiversity loss.This episode is the first in a three part series exploring how behavioral science can help us tackle some of today's most urgent environmental challenges. We discussed what behavioural science is, where it comes from, and how organisations like Rare are applying behavioural insights to real world issues like plastic pollution, climate change and conservation. We explore key concepts such as nudges, sludges and behavioral levers. Resources mentionedRare's Centre for Behaviour & the Environment: behavior.rare.orgNudge by Richard Thaler and Cass SunsteinThinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky"About Sustainability..." is a podcast brought to you by the Institute for Global Environmental Strategies (IGES), an environmental policy think-tank based in Hayama, Japan. IGES experts are concerned with environmental and sustainability challenges. Everything shared on the podcast will be off-the-cuff discussion, and any viewpoints expressed are those held by the speaker at the time of recording. They are not necessarily official IGES positions.

Brandon Naidoo, lead specialist for Investment Propositions at Liberty, discusses investor behaviour and the trends that we saw in 2025, and how these impacted market performance. SAfm Market Update - Podcasts and live stream

This evening, we dive into the latest market movements with Exness, we speak to the FSCA about issuing 16 warnings in less than two weeks, Liberty helps us understand investor behaviour, Discovery Bank shares details on upcoming changes to its offering, we discuss SAB's commitment to supporting social innovators, and we learn more about Saturated – a tech solutions company helping to build other businesses. SAfm Market Update - Podcasts and live stream

In this episode we explore the most classical topic from Game Theory – equilibrium analysis. Our guest Colin Camerer shares insights on the game LUPI ('lowest unique positive integer'). We first discuss the actual mathematical equilibrium analysis and then dive into real life: results from a Swedish game show in which the game was played in a lottery format. Colin also compares the results from the game show with a study of the same game in a controlled lab environment. We finish the episode by deep-diving into level-k reasoning and Colin shares an example based on the role of published movie reviews.   Colin Camerer is the Robert Kirby Professor of Behavioral Economics at Caltech. His research interests include decisions, games, and markets.

Lots of weekend action to discuss, as well as plenty about dad attitudes to food etiquette. full, ad free episode to be found at patreon.com/bloodandmud Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Word up BookshelversAs autumn has its chilly grip on us (at least here in the UK), you'll be pleased to hear we have an episode for you as heart-warming an as a bowl of steaming soup about an equally wonderfully heart-warming book. This week Corrin and Steve have the pleasure of catching up with the awesome Diane Gollowitzer who is not only a good friend of ours but also a fabulous award winning photographer, trick trainer and now published author (WOOHOO). You'll here in this interview just how much Steve and Corrin LOVE her new book Muzzled and Misunderstood: Love Letter to my Muzzled Dog. This is, not only, a much needed book that tackles a taboo subject head on, but also a bona fide work of art in its own right. Using the power of Diane's breath taking imagery a weaving it with beautiful, honest and vulnerable "letters" written by the guardians to their own dogs: this book is as much a well needed life affirming lift, as it is a crucial text that challenges the status quo. Honestly if you love dogs, you'll love this book.On top of discussing the book in our normal book review style as well as talking to Diane herself, we also update everyone on the ongoing saga of Penguin and discuss the curious case of bedtime Brian Cox... If indeed it is him.Pop it straight in those lug holes... you know you want to.Links:Diane's website: https://www.dogsinfocusphotography.com/Diane's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dogsinfocusphotography/Diane's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dogsinfocusphotography/Pre-order the book on Amazon: Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1910488747About the project: https://www.dogsinfocusphotography.com/muzzled-and-misunderstood/The Muzzle Project on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_muzzle_project/

Join Tosin and Coach for the European Football Weekend review from the Big 5 Leagues! There's obviously chatter about the biggest news this weekend, Max B is home but also Liverpool losing again!, PSG finding a way and just how well Rashford is doing at Barcelona. Tap In!

In this conversation, we cover the six key behaviours of people who stay fit and healthy, focusing on identity-based goals, nutrition mastery and consistent training. We highlight the importance of ownership, navigating motivation dips, and appreciating the repetitive parts of training and nutrition while managing external stressors. Our message centers on balance, self-care, accountability, and long-term sustainability. We also discuss how optimism and pessimism affect problem-solving, the resilience needed to handle challenges, the value of boundaries, and why long-term, process-focused thinking drives real growth. Find us on Instagram here: Level Up: https://www.instagram.com/levelup_podcast_/ Sharelle: https://www.instagram.com/sharellegrant/ Dani: https://www.instagram.com/daniantonellos/

In this episode of Better Business, Better Life, host Debra Chantry-Taylor tackles one of the hardest parts of leadership, dealing with underperforming employees. With honesty and compassion, she explains why avoiding tough conversations only damages trust, culture, and team morale. Debra introduces practical EOS tools like the People Analyser and the SBI (Situation, Behaviour, Impact) model to help leaders give clear, kind, and effective feedback. She explores how to balance courage with compassion, offering coaching and support where improvement is possible, and guiding respectful exits when it's not. Packed with real-world stories, including how one business boosted performance by 20% after making a difficult staffing change, this episode is a must-listen for any leader who wants to strengthen trust, improve culture, and lead with confidence. Because great leadership isn't about avoiding discomfort, it's about doing what's right for the business and the people in it. CONNECT WITH DEBRA:         ___________________________________________         ►Debra Chantry-Taylor is a Certified EOS Implementer | Entrepreneurial Leadership & Business Coach | Business Owner ►Connect with Debra: ⁠debra@businessaction.com.au ⁠ ►See how she can help you: https://businessaction.co.nz/ ►Claim Your Free E-Book: https://www.businessaction.co.nz/free-e-book/ ____________________________________________         ► Free Resources: The IDS Process: https://bbbl.pub/IDS Episode 245 Chapters:    00:00 – Introduction00:38 – Handling Persistent Performance Issues in Leadership   02:12 – Reasons for Avoiding Tough Decisions   04:10 – Using the People Analyser Tool   07:51 – Radical Candour and Specific Feedback   09:58 – Changing the Person or the Role   11:46 – Reflecting and Taking Action   14:05 – Final Thoughts and Resources

What is personality? Can it change over time? How does our personality influence the ways we find meaning in our lives? DR RALPH PIEDMONT has spent decades answering these questions; training under the original developers of the Big Five personality model, and focusing also on the spiritual and transcendent dimensions that give life deeper meaning. This week Andrew and Dr Piedmont discuss: The Big Five personality model How understanding our own personality can help us create deeper, more authentic relationships.  How spirituality fits into our understanding of personality. Dr. Piedmont received his Ph.D. in Personality Psychology from Boston University. He was a full professor in the Department of Pastoral Counseling at Loyola University Maryland and is now the Managing Director of the Center for Professional Studies. His current research interests focus on the measurement of Spiritual Transcendence, a construct that represents a broad, nondenominational, motivational measure of spirituality. Dr Piedmont is a fellow of the American Psychological Association and a member of the American Counseling Association (ACA).  If You're Looking for More…. You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests  and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50 This week supporters will hear: Hope: What it is, why we need it, and how to find it in dark times.  Three Things Ralph Piedmont knows to be true.  AND subscribers also access all of our previous bonus content - a rich trove of insight on love, life and meaning created by Andrew and his interviewees. Follow Up Attend Andrew's men's retreat near Berlin in April 2026: details here  Get Andrew's free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things  Visit the website of the Center for Professional Studies, where Dr Piedmont is Managing Director  Read Dr Piedmont's book, Understanding the Psychological Soul of Spirituality: A Guidebook for Research and Practice Take a look at Andrew's new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.  Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall   

Queen Elizabeth Allegedly Knew About Prince Andrew's Horrific BehaviourSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this MadTech Podcast team episode, ExchangeWire editor Aimee Newell Tarín is joined by co-founder & CEO Rachel Smith and COO Lindsay Rowntree. They look at UK broadcasters' appeal to the government to stamp out big tech's anticompetitive practices, WPP's partnership with analytics firm Sightly, and the DSP wars between Amazon, Google, and The Trade Desk. They also discuss AI regulation in journalism and publishing, the modularisation of ad tech, and parallels between the DSP wars and the Chinese economy.

How do human choices, biases, and behaviours shape our economy? This week Amol speaks to Nobel Prize winning behavioural economist Professor Richard Thaler about his theories that dive into the patterns behind our decision-making and reveal why humans aren't always as rational as we like to think. From overconfidence and the lure of winning at any cost, to the hidden costs of risk-taking and the psychology of incentives, his research shows why individuals and markets sometimes make surprising — or even seemingly irrational — choices. By unpacking the experiments described in his book The Winner's Curse we get an insight into his work and he applies these behavioural insights to the issues facing the UK today. They discuss how to get young people off welfare and into work, government debt and why Richard believes the winter fuel allowance needs a rethink. (00:04:10) Why he thinks traditional economic theory is flawed (00:07:44) The pros and cons of behavioural economics (00:17:40) The story behind The Winner's Curse (00:19:00) The Endowment Effect (00:21:16) The Ultimatum Game (00:23:28) Confirmation Bias and Overconfidence (00:25:54) Mental Accounting (00:29:42) Young people, welfare and work (00:33:35) Tackling government debt (00:38:32) The housing crisis (00:40:06) The rise of AI and dangers of social media (00:43:00) How he found out that he'd won the Nobel Prize for Economics (00:45:26) Richard Thaler's legacy (00:47:43) Amol's reflections (00:51:20) Listener Messages GET IN TOUCH * WhatsApp: 0330 123 9480 * Email: radical@bbc.co.uk Episodes of Radical with Amol Rajan are released every Thursday and you can also watch them on BBC iPlayer: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002f1d0/radical-with-amol-rajan Amol Rajan is a presenter of the Today programme on BBC Radio 4. He is also the host of University Challenge on BBC One. Before that, Amol was media editor at the BBC and editor at The Independent. Radical with Amol Rajan is a Today Podcast. It was made by Lewis Vickers with Anna Budd. Digital production was by Gabriel Purcell-Davis. Technical production was by Dave O'Neill. The editor is Sam Bonham. The executive producer is Owenna Griffiths.

Where we sit down with veterinary behaviour resident Dr Nita Hynes to talk about veterinary behaviourist/trainer/behaviour consultant collabs, challenges and ethical considerations in the shelter world, and 'drugging' dogs as a panacea.Also, cat owners as MVP clients, losing your podcast virginity, and absolutely zero talk about AI dog training apps. Dr Nita's websiteDr Nita's Instagram⁠⁠⁠Topic or guest suggestions? Fan mail? Hate mail? We love to hear from you all! Email ⁠notanotherdogandponyshow@gmail.com⁠

If you've ever found yourself reaching for snacks even when you're not hungry, or wondering why you can't just stay consistent, this episode is going to be a game changer.This weeks episode is a live reply from a Lean with Plants community talk all about dopamine — the brain chemical that teaches you what's rewarding — and how it influences everything from your cravings to your habits. The crazy thing is, dopamine isn't just about pleasure… it's about motivation. It's what drives you to repeat certain behaviors, even the ones that don't serve you.In this episode, you'll learn how to understand dopamine so you can start working with your brain instead of constantly battling against it. We'll talk about why processed food feels so hard to give up, how to make consistency easier, and what it really takes to build habits that last.If you've been struggling with motivation, or feeling like you “fall off” every time life gets stressful, this one's for you.If you're ready to do whatever is required to succeed for your health goals, then book a free consult with our team to talk about making that a reality.⁠https://fitwithplants.com/schedule-your-call-6⁠✅ Want to learn the 5 step formula for successful fat loss for less than $1 a day?⁠https://www.skool.com/leancommunity/about⁠

There’s never a dull moment in investing, and right now, gold and rare earths are in the spotlight. Then there’s the longer-term trend towards ETFs and overseas investing, too. Scott is joined by Gemma Dale, nabtrade’s Director of SMSF and Investor Behaviour to unpack just what’s happening, and why.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The pursuit of thinness and body perfection is raging as strongly as ever. With popular podcasts, YouTube, and TikTok influencers delivering extreme food regimes daily; countless people using the skinny jab; AI making online beauty standards even more unachievable; it's no wonder that the average human spends many minutes of each day obsessing over food choices and body proportions. You may not have a full-blown eating disorder fitting neatly into a diagnostic box. But, if you are experiencing high levels of body distress and intense preoccupation around food, then this needs to be taken seriously, as it will be impacting your mood, body image and life. This podcast explores 20 disordered eating behaviours that have become normalised in 2025 daily living. I hope that you find it helpful. To find out more about my work:- Harriet's Substack: https://substack.com/@theeatingdisordertherapist   Go to my Website Online courses Online 10 Steps to Intuitive Eating - a course to help you heal your relationship with food. Online Breaking Free from Bulimia - a course to help you break free from bulimia nervosa. Eating Disorders Training for Professionals - training for therapists in working with clients with eating disorders. Body Image Training for Professionals - training for therapists in working with clients with body image issues.  

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I am giving you another sneak peek inside my Peaceful Parenting Membership! Listen in as I interview Tosha Schore as part of our membership's monthly theme of “Aggression”. We discuss why kids get aggressive, how to handle it no matter how many kids you have, and dealing with the aggressive behaviour from many angles.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:35 Is a child's aggression OUR fault as the parent?* 13:00 Why are some kids aggressive?* 15:00 How do you handle aggression when you have multiple kids?* 22:00 A new sibling being born is often a trigger for aggression in the older child* 29:00 When you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around your child* 35:00 How naming feelings can be a trigger for kids* 37:00 When aggression is name calling between siblings* 42:00 Friends- roughhousing play or aggression?* 49:00 Coming from aggression at all angles* 50:35 Using limits when there are safety issuesResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Tosha's Websitexx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERETranscript: Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Tosha Shore, a peaceful parenting expert on aggression. I invited her into the Peaceful Parenting Membership a few months ago to talk to us about aggression and to answer our members' aggression-specific questions.So many fantastic questions were asked. I know they'll help you if you're at all having any issues with aggression. And remember, aggression isn't just hitting. It's any expression of the fight, flight, or freeze response—including yelling, spitting, throwing things, and swearing.Tosha is such a valuable resource on this issue. I really, really admire how she speaks about aggression and the compassion that she brings to both kids and parents who are experiencing aggression.One note: one of the members was okay with her question being used in the podcast, but she didn't want her voice used. So in the podcast today, I paraphrased her question and follow-up comments to preserve the flow of the conversation.As I mentioned, this is a sneak peek inside the Peaceful Parenting Membership. If you would like to join us, we would love to have you. It is such a wonderful space filled with human touch and support. There are so many benefits, and it's my favorite part of my work as a parenting coach.We'll put the link to join us in the show notes, or you can visit reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership. If you know anyone who could use this podcast, please share it with them. And as always, we would appreciate your five-star ratings and reviews on your favorite podcast app.Let's meet Tosha.Hello, Tosha, welcome to the membership. I'm so excited that you're going to be here talking to us about aggression today. So maybe you could start out by just giving a brief introduction of who you are and what you do.Tosha: Absolutely. So my name is Tosha Shore and I am the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where we are on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time.I'm also the co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. And I work with a lot of families with young kids who are struggling with hard behaviors like aggression, and my goal is to give you all hope and inspiration—to keep on keeping on with peaceful parenting practices because they do absolutely work. Even, or maybe even especially, for really hard behaviors.Sarah: I love that you added that—especially for hard behaviors—because I think there's this fallacy out there that, yeah, peaceful parenting's nice if you have easy kids, but, you know, my kid needs more “discipline” or whatever. So I love that you called that out, 'cause I think it's absolutely true also.So maybe—just—we have some questions from our members that people sent in, and I'm not sure, some people on the call might have questions as well. But maybe we could just get started by you sort of centering us in what causes aggression.I was just on a call with some clients whose child was having some issues at school, which, if we have time, I might ask you about. The mom was saying, “Oh, you know, he's being aggressive at school because I sometimes shout or lose my temper.” And I said to her, you know, of course that plays a part in it, but there are lots of kids whose parents never shout or lose their temper who still are aggressive.So why is that? What causes aggression?Tosha: I mean, I think there are a few things that can cause aggression. I often will say that aggression is fear in disguise, because I've found that a lot of kids who are getting in trouble at school—they're yelling, they may be hurting siblings or hurting their parents—they are scared inside.Sometimes it's an obvious fear to us. Like maybe they're playing with a peer and the peer does something that feels threatening—goes like that in their face or something—and instead of just, you know, play-fighting back, they clock the kid or whatever.And sometimes the fears are a little bit more hidden and maybe could fall even into the category of lagging skills. I don't even like to say “lagging skills,” but, like, skills that maybe they haven't developed yet. School's a perfect example. I think a lot of kids often will be acting out in school—even aggressively—because they're being asked to do something that they don't yet have the skills to do.And that's pretty frustrating, right? It's frustrating to be asked, and then demanded, to perform in a certain way or accomplish something specific when you don't either feel the confidence to do it, or you don't yet have the skills. Which sort of spills into another reason that kids can get aggressive, and that's shame.We can feel really ashamed if everybody else in the class, for example, or a lot of kids, are able to just answer the questions straight out when the teacher asks—and maybe we get stage fright, or maybe we didn't quite understand the example, or whatever it is.So I definitely want to pull that parent away from blaming themselves. I think we always tend—we have a negative bias, right? Our brain has a negative bias. All of us. And I think we tend to go towards taking it on ourselves: It's our fault. If we had just done X, Y, or Z, or if we hadn't done X, Y, or Z, my child wouldn't be acting out this way.But I always say to parents, well, that's a choice. There's like a 50/50, right? We could choose to say, you know what, it could be that I did something, but I don't think so. That's the other 50%. But we always go with the “it's my fault” 50.So part of my job, I think, is to encourage parents to lean into the “It's not my fault.” Not in the sense of nothing I do has an impression on my child, but in the sense of: it's important that we as parents all acknowledge—and I truly believe this—that we are doing our best all the time.There is no parent I've ever met who purposefully doesn't behave in a way they feel good about, or purposefully holds back their love, or purposefully yells, or anything like that. If we could do differently, we absolutely would as parents.Sarah: Mm-hmm. So more like, “I didn't cause this. There's maybe something I could do, but I didn't cause this.” Right.Tosha: I mean, like, look, let's just be honest. Maybe she did cause it, okay? I mean, I've done things—maybe I've caused things—but so what, right? There's nothing I can do at this point.I can either sort of wallow in, “Oh gosh, did I cause this?” Or I could say, probably I didn't, because there are so many other factors. Or I could say, you know, maybe I did, but one, I'm confident that I did the best that I could in that moment.And two—and this is an important part—is that I am doing whatever work I need. I'm getting the support I need, right? I'm showing up to Sarah's membership or this call or whatever, to take steps to do better in the future.So if we're just making a mistake and not doing anything to try to behave better next time, that's not worth much either. Like, I remember once when my kids were little—I don't even remember what I was doing, I don't remember what the situation was—but I do remember very clearly that I apologized. I said, “I'm sorry, I won't do that again.”And my kid goes, “You always say that and then you do it again.”And that was true. But if that were true because I was just saying “I'm sorry” and going about my next thing and not paying attention to the why or getting to the crux of what was causing me to behave that way, then that would be disingenuous.But in fact, I was doing my own emotional work to be able to show up more often in ways that I felt good about. So I could genuinely feel good about that apology, and I could not take it personally. I could say, “You know what, you're absolutely right. I do keep making this mistake. And I want you to know that I am working hard to try to change that behavior.” And that was true.Sarah: Yeah. Makes sense. So you mentioned before that you want parents to see aggression as fear in disguise. And you mentioned that the fear can be something obvious, like someone's gotten in your face and you're scared. Or it can be fear of not being able to meet the expectations of your teacher or your parent. Or shame that can come from maybe even having made a mistake.You didn't say this, but I'm thinking of something common that often happens—like a kid makes a mistake or does something they didn't mean to do, and then they lash out. Right?So how do we get from those feelings of fear and shame to aggression? Because that doesn't happen for every kid, right? Some kids will just cry or say something, but then some kids really lash out and hit, throw things, shout, scream. So how does that happen? How do we get from A to B?Tosha: Well, I think all kids are different, just like all adults are different. And when we encounter fear—any of us—we go into fight, flight, or freeze. And kids who are aggressive go into fight.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So some kids do and some kids don't. And you know, I don't have any scientific research to back this up, but I would say part of this is DNA, part of this is the nature of the kid.Sarah: Right.Tosha: And I think that's also going back to the self-blame. I've got three kids, they're all very different, right? Same house, same parents, same everything. They're different. They came into this world different, and they're still different.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: And I can help guide them, but I can't change the core of who they are. So I think that aggression is those kids who go from “I'm scared, I'm having to protect myself” to that attack mode.Sarah: Right. Makes sense. And just—I mean, I know this—but is it in the child's control?Tosha: No, it's not in the child's control. It is absolutely a reaction. And I think that's why I feel like having that concept of aggression being fear in disguise can be so helpful from a mindset perspective for parents. Because it's so much easier to have empathy for a child who we see as being scared, right? Than one who we see as being a jerk, picking on his brother, or disrespectful, rude—all of those terms we use when we're struggling.Sarah: Right. Well, there may be a few other points that I want you to make, but they might come out in the context of some questions from our members.So I know at least two people on the call right now had sent me a question in case they couldn't make it. But I'm going to ask Sonya—are you willing, Sonya, to unmute yourself and ask your question?Sarah: Hi.Sonia: Sure. Hi.Sarah: Hi, Sonya.(Sarah narrating): Sonia wonders how to handle aggression when you have multiple kids. She has three kids—a 7-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a baby—and it's often her 7-year-old who reacts in fight mode. She's trying to figure out how to keep her cool and also how to handle it and take care of the other kids and manage him.Tosha: Yeah. So one thing that I noticed is how Sonia kind of glossed over the keeping her own cool. And I want to bring that to everybody's attention, because we all do that. But actually, when we're dealing with aggression, we have to come at it from a lot of different angles.There's no one magic pill I can give her, but it has to actually start—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So it doesn't mean we have to reach Nirvana or become the Buddha or never yell before we can make any progress. But we can't put that aside and just go, “Okay, what do I do to get my kid to stop doing this?”Because our energy has a huge effect on our kids' aggression. And usually—well, let me just say—it makes sense to ask yourself questions like: how am I feeling about this? Because most people are feeling scared—either scared of their child (“they're going to hurt me” or “they're going to hurt a sibling, hurt the baby”), or scared for their child (“he's going to end up in juvenile hall, he's going to end up the next school shooter”).We project forward. So if we're having fear for our child or fear of our child, that child is soaking up that feeling. And I don't know about you, but I've never met anybody who could actually change their behaviors—who was inspired, motivated, or able to change their behaviors—when everyone around them was scared of them or scared for them.Maybe occasionally there's somebody who's like, “I'm going to prove the point because the world is against me,” right? And this is like a Hollywood film. But most of us don't work that way.So I want to come at it from all the angles. There's the “take care of yourself” piece. But at the same time, we have to keep our kids safe.One thing that I think really helps is to pay attention to the pattern of when the aggression is happening, so she's not surprised. Because if we're surprised, then we act in surprising ways to ourselves. We don't show up as our best.So pay attention. Does this happen at a certain time of day? When there's a certain constellation of kids playing together? When one particular child is present? When you're doing something specific? If there's another parent—when they're present or absent? Pay attention to these things so that you can show up ready.Because if you can change your story in your head from, “I have no idea when this happens, it happens all the time, it happens out of the blue”—which is really disempowering—to “I've noticed that every afternoon when I pick my 7-year-old up from school and bring him home, then I go in the kitchen to make a snack… and then he lays on top of the baby,” or whatever—then it is much more manageable.Then you can say, “Okay, well, I remember this call that I was on and they talked about maybe there being some fear in there. Well, I don't know what the fear is, I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to be ready. I'm not going to let it happen.”So rather than make that snack, I'm going to make it before he comes home, or I'm going to just pull out some frozen pizza. But I'm going to stay present with that child during that time and expect that the upset will happen.Because then, when that child goes to lay on the baby—or whatever the aggression is—you can actually physically get in the way. You can prevent it from happening. And then what happens is, because that child—the 7-year-old—has something to push against, something preventing them from acting on their fear response, from fighting—what happens then is like a magic reaction.He's able to erupt like a volcano and release the tension, those fears, the upsets. Maybe it's 12 things that happened to him at school today. Maybe there was shame around not knowing the answer when he was called on. Whatever it was.But there's suddenly space with an attentive adult who remembers that the child is scared. So they have empathy. They're not worried, they're not caught by surprise. So we're not going to jump at them. And that child has the opportunity then to heal.That release of the feeling is what heals the child. It's like pulling up weeds in your garden by the roots, as opposed to just pulling and having them break off, and then the next day you've got the whole thing back again.So this tool—which in our book we talk about as Stay Listening, where we're staying and allowing space for the child to feel—is what, over time, will change that fight response. That's actually the gold nugget that, over time, will both change the intensity of the outbursts and also change the frequency.Is any of that landing for you?Sarah (narrating): Sonia responded that it was very helpful. She's told me before that her baby's almost one, and this started happening a lot right after she had the baby. She also says that she's done my Transform Your Family Life course, and she's still working on it. She's done more of the welcoming feelings, and she has put together that it's usually in the afternoons—so Tosha is right about that—and it's happening after school.She's also connected that there are things happening at school that aren't in line with how she and her husband want their child treated, and she thinks that's related.Tosha: Yeah. So in light of this new information, I would also say—and I'm sure Sarah's talked to you about this as well—but pouring in as much connection to that child as possible.And it can feel, especially when you have multiple kids, that it's unfair, right? One kid is getting more… Are you familiar with the concept of special times, Sarah? Is that something that you teach?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Okay. You know, if you're doing special time—oftentimes we talk about, or I talk about at least—I'm not a “fair” kind of a person. I'm a “life's not fair” kind of a person. My kids will tell you that.But when it comes to special time, I always encourage parents to think about a week and to try to give your kids about the same amount of special time over a week. But—and here's the caveat—when we have a kid who is struggling, they are demanding more of us. They are demanding more attention. And our time didn't increase.Tosha: So that means we are going to need to devote more time. It's going to be uneven. But that child—and especially, like, this is probably the number one reason that I hear for aggression to start, and we didn't talk about this at the beginning—is when a younger sibling is born. I mean, it is so often the trigger, I can't tell you.And if I could go back to all of those parents and say, “Don't worry about being fair. Just pour as much extra love and connection and yumminess into that child who's struggling as you can. It will pay off later. You can make it up to the other kids later.” In fact, you're giving them a gift by helping their older brother, because then his behavior isn't going to have that negative effect on them.So I think that we get stuck in the fairness sometimes. I'm not saying you do this, Sonya—this is just from my experience. And then we hold back from giving that child what they need. So special time isn't the only thing. I would say: make a list of things that you do with that 7-year-old that creates laughter between you, that you both feel really good—where you have that yumminess, like, oh, you're loving on him and he's loving on you. Maybe that's shooting hoops in the front yard, or maybe it's drawing a picture together, or jumping on the trampoline, or reading a book. I mean, it could be anything at all.You can do those things, and you can do them with the other three kids around. Also, keep doing all of that stuff. And you're going to have to, I think, carve out some time for one-on-one special time—named, timed—where he gets to lead and he gets to be the boss.Sarah: That's awesome. And we always talk about equity versus equality with the sibling relationships, and I think that's—Tosha: Oh yeah. I love that.Sarah: Okay, awesome. Thank you so much. Priya, do you want me to ask your question, or do you want to ask the question since you're on the call? Maybe she's stepped away or can't unmute herself. Uh, she wants me to ask. Okay. So I'm going to find Priya's question and ask it.Uh, Priya says: “My five-year-old gets angry at anything and everything. He has zero tolerance for any kind of dislike or disagreement. We acknowledge his feelings with empathy, doing our best to stay calm and give him time to process his emotions. The only limit we consistently set is holding him from hurting people or property while he yells, screams, says hurtful things, and tries with full rage to attack us.“We're consciously making time for roughhousing, special time, connection, laughter, and tears—though he rarely cries—and we talk about asking for help before things escalate. I've been trying to track patterns by logging some incidents, but sometimes it feels completely unpredictable. We often have no idea why he's screaming. If I push a chair slightly, he gets angry. If someone else presses the elevator button, he gets upset. If he has a plan in his mind and we don't pick up on it, he becomes extremely frustrated. He gets irritated and grumpy very easily. It's gotten to the point where we feel like we have to expect an outburst at any moment. It looks like it's becoming a habit for him, and I feel like I'm starting to walk on eggshells—always watchful for what might happen when I say or do something.”Tosha: Yeah, so this is a really—believe it or not—common situation. Did she say he was five? Is that five?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I cannot tell you the number of parents who come to me and this is what they say: “I'm walking on eggshells.” Right? If we get to the point where we're walking on eggshells, generally what that says to me is that we are not either setting enough limits or we're not setting limits effectively.And one thing that I would suggest to Priya is to take a minute to think about whether or not there are places where she's feeling resentment. That's always a good sign for me—like, if I'm feeling resentment about something, then that's probably a place I need to hold a limit. If I'm not, then there's more wiggle room.So when this is happening all the time about everything, I would say: get really clear on what limits are important to you and what limits are not. Right? So if you're in public, in the elevator, and you don't want to deal with a big meltdown about the elevator button, can you plan for that? If you know that that's an issue, when you go in, you can say to people, “Hey, my son would really like to press the buttons—what floor would you like?”Sarah: Mm-hmm. Right.Tosha: “Here's our elevator operator—exactly. What floor, please?” Or, if somebody presses the button—or if she's pressing the button—to just go in knowing, “I'm not going to press the button. I'm going to let my child do this.” And if somebody else has already pressed it, you can say, “You know what? Hey, let's take the next elevator and then we'll press it. You can press it.”So there are places where we can be flexible. But we don't want to do that all the time, because essentially what this child is showing me is that he has a real intense lack of flexibility. And ultimately, the goal that I would have for him would be—slowly, slowly and lovingly—to help him increase that flexibility. So that, yeah, maybe he's not going to say, “Oh, shoot, I'm feeling really disappointed because I didn't get to press the elevator button and I really like to do that.” But maybe instead of having a huge tantrum, he just gets a sourpuss face and crosses his arms. Okay, I'll take that. That's better. We're moving in the right direction.So it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right, but I would hone in on limit-setting. Really: are you taking the time to think about what kind of limits you want to set? Are you letting go of limits when you know that you don't have the wherewithal to stay calm in the face of the upset?So, oftentimes—I'm hearing Priya say she does a lot of Stay Listening—I would be curious to know: what does that Stay Listening look like? Because I was working with a dad this week, a client of mine, and we were talking about a situation that was going on with his kid, who was coming home really frustrated with homework. And what ended up coming out of his mouth was, “I thought I was Stay Listening, but I think I actually wasn't Stay Listening.”Right—because Stay Listening isn't about trying to calm the child, or trying to get them to stop what they're doing. It can't be with the goal of, “Let me get this kid to quiet down,” kind of a thing. Stay Listening is really holding space lovingly for whatever needs to come out, which means—yeah—all the words, all—like, we don't take them personally.Sarah: Can I just interject something? For my community, what they would recognize Stay Listening as is “welcoming feelings.” Mm-hmm. Just because that'll be a familiar phrase to them. So I just wanna—Tosha: Yeah, absolutely. Right. But “welcoming feelings”—I feel like we need to also talk about: what does that look like? Mm-hmm. What does that look like when we welcome feelings? Because, you know, you could be upset and I could just be like—Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: —like waiting for you to be done. Right? I could be like, “Okay, I'm not gonna shut you down, but, you know, hey, whatever you do, what you need to do, I'm gonna go answer my email.” That's—you know—I can “welcome” the feelings like that. But again, coming back to our energy: what energy are we bringing to that? Are we really staying present with the energy of “We are gonna get through this,” with the energy of “You are safe,” with the energy of “I'm here with you.”Mm-hmm. Right? Like, can that child sense that they're not alone—that you're on their team? And that's maybe a good litmus test. If you were to ask yourself: do you feel like your child would feel like you're on their team, or that you're butting heads? Mm-hmm. And if the answer is “butting heads,” then the question is: what can you shift so that your child will feel like, “Hey, we're in this together”?Sarah: Sounds good. Priya, I don't know if you have anything to add. It sounds like maybe she can't unmute herself, but—oh, she says he screams really loud, so we usually stay quiet and don't say anything because it's really loud. We wait for the moment to pass before we can say anything, at the same time being present. So she's saying they're trying to be present, sometimes trying to say, “I see you're really upset.”Tosha: Yeah. And so when she says—I'm sorry, it's a little bit via you here—but before, when you say, “Priya, before I say something,” what is it that you're saying? Because another thing about Stay Listening—or welcoming feelings, from my perspective—is that saying something actually doesn't really have a place. So if we need to say something, it should—I think—uh, or let me just rephrase that: I find it most effective when it's something that essentially allows that child to feel safe, to realize that they're not alone.Right—to realize that we're on their team, and to realize that it's not gonna last forever. So that they're loved—these types of things. So I wouldn't—if you're naming feelings, and I don't know that she is or isn't, but if you're naming feelings—which is something that a lot of professionals, for example, will recommend—I would play around with stopping that and seeing if that makes a difference, because sometimes that's a huge trigger for kids. And maybe even, “I see you're upset,” or whatever it is that she said—that also might be a trigger.Yeah. Don't be afraid to really not say anything at all, and just think about each of these things as an experiment. Take a day and don't say anything at all and see if it makes a difference. Other things to try—'cause it sounds like he's quite sensitive—is distance, right? How close are you to that child? Some kids don't want you all up in their face. Some kids want to be on your lap and hugged. Some kids want to be a room's distance away. So play with distance; play with tone.Sarah: Love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. Does anybody else who's on the call have a question? And if not, I have questions that were sent in, but I want to give priority to people who are here. Uh, and—and Priya says, “Thank you, Tosha.”Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. I'm trying to work without the direct back and forth.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: No—so I hope that was helpful.Sarah: Yeah, that was great, Lindsay.Tosha: And I want to acknowledge that it is really hard. It is hard.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. It's one of the most—Tosha: It won't last forever either. Like, it's absolutely—move through. I can assure you of that.Sarah: Lindsay, do you have a question?Member B: Yes. I have a question about my son, actually. He's 10 years old, and I have a 10-year-old boy and then a 7-year-old girl. And a lot of times—there's kind of two different questions—but between the siblings, a lot of times my daughter will be, like, have verbal aggression towards him, and then he—he is my—he is a little more sensitive, and he will hold it in, and he won't spit out things back at her, but then he eventually will just hit her. And, like, he comes with the physical aggression. So kind of, as the parent, proactively trying to step in there—like, how do I handle both of those when one is verbal—maybe aggression—and one is physical? I know it can escalate there. Where do I step in?Tosha: Yeah. First of all, I just want to appreciate that you can see that there's a dynamic there. Because oftentimes we get into this place as parents where we're like, “This person is the aggressor and this person is the victim.” Because oftentimes there is a pattern like that, but it's—it's beautiful that you can see this dance that they're doing.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And so if you see it kind of as a dance, you can interplay around and experiment with interrupting it in different ways. Okay. I would say that, in terms of the verbal aggression, what I have found works best—and again, I was talking to a client yesterday and he was saying to me that this is what works. Mm-hmm. I'm like, “Okay, so let's do more of that. You came out of your mouth; you said it works when you do it—let's do more.” And that is being playful in the face of the verbal aggression.And so it can look like a lot of different things. You could say ahead of time to your daughter something like, “Hey, I've noticed that, you know, sometimes these nasty words come out of your mouth towards your brother, and I know you don't mean them. So I'm gonna—I'm gonna pay attention and just try to help you with that, 'cause I know you don't want to hurt his feelings.”Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And just, you know, outside the moment, just kind of toss that out there. And then in the heat of the moment—I mean, you can just get as goofy as you can think. You could get a paper bag and just pull it over her head, right? Or you could get those indoor snowballs and just start pelting her with snowballs. You could do what we call the “vigorous snuggle,” which we write about in the book, which is something like, “Do you know what happens to little girls who call their brothers, you know, ‘stupid buttheads'” or whatever it is—Sarah: Uh-huh.Tosha: —and then you—rather than push away, which is what we tend to want to do—you do something goofy, right? “They get their elbows licked!” And then you're, like, chasing after her elbow and trying to lick it. What you're going for is laughter. You're trying to elicit laughter, because she's stuck in a hard spot where she can't feel compassion for him and she can't feel your love or anybody's. And so laughter will loosen that up.So I would say: interrupt the verbal aggression with play.Member B: Okay.Tosha: Some of those things will maybe annoy her; some of them will lead to laughter. And then sometimes you'll do an experiment and it'll annoy her—mm-hmm—and she'll explode. And what I want to say about that is—that's okay. Because, like we talked about with the school incident, it's an opportunity for her to do that healing and release the tensions and the hurts and the upsets and the gripes and all the stuff that she's holding in there. So when that happens, if you can welcome those feelings and not try to shut them down or judge her—or what many of us, sort of in the peaceful parenting world, will do is just talk, talk, talk, talk to her about it—if you can let all of that go—Member B: Yeah.Tosha: —you'll see the behaviors lessen. Okay? You know, that would be—I mean, we talked a little bit about the physical stuff before, so I thought for this question I would focus more on the verbal.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: But in the sibling dynamic, just kind of rotate who you go to, so they don't feel like there's one “bad guy” and one “woe-is-me” sibling.Member B: Yeah. Right.Tosha: Because ultimately, our goal as parents is to nurture that sibling relationship. Right. I don't—I don't know—like, I just had a birthday. I'm like, “This is my best birthday ever.” And people are like, “Really? How is it your best birthday ever?” I'm like, because, like, a lot of people couldn't come to my party but all three of my boys were home, and we sang karaoke, and the three of them sang me a song and sang all this. It was like—there is nothing I think we want more than to see our kids loving each other, enjoying each other—mm-hmm—having a strong relationship down the road.And let me tell you, these kids were at each other. I mean, now they're 18, 20, and 22. But I have been in your shoes where my mom would call me and be like, “I'm afraid they're gonna kill each other. I'm worried.” I'd be like, “It's okay. I got this, Mom. You know, things will change.” Yeah. But we do want to experiment—interrupt the behaviors.Member B: Yeah, I appreciate the trying different interventions and then also being prepared for her to, like, not enjoy some of them as well. 'Cause I think that happens a lot more than, like, the positive, you know, playful things. Right. So I appreciate that space to, like, let that happen too—and that's okay.Tosha: Yeah. It's—even more than okay. Like, that's kind of what needs to happen—mm-hmm—in order for her to shift—yeah—in order for her to be able to show up differently. She's stuck. Just think of her as being stuck.Member B: Yeah. And maybe it's not gonna fix that moment, but later on it'll be less and less, right?Tosha: Yeah. And it happens much more quickly than we think, oftentimes.Member B: Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. The other quick question—do I have time, Sarah, to ask the second—Sarah: Sure.Member B: Okay. The second one is more—it's my 10-year-old. So recently, like, he was at a playdate. He's getting to play with a lot more of his friends. They're all playing football and sports and things, and he's just a bigger kid—my husband's 6'5”, so he's just naturally bigger than a lot of the kids. And he is super playful, but he gets, like, playful aggression. And, like, one of the moms was saying, like, “Oh my—” I've seen the dynamic of how all the boys are playing, and I noticed Calvin sometimes gets a little too aggressive. And her son Luke is pretty small. And Luke is like, “Yeah, I get trampled sometimes.” And so the mom was like, “I just try and tell Calvin, like, how big he is and, you know, his awareness.” But I know it happens with his sister, and I think it probably happens at school sometimes too—that he doesn't realize his size, and that maybe it comes out to be as, like—I don't know if he has internal aggression or if it's just playful and he's not aware of how big he is.Tosha: Yeah, I mean, I'd say two things about this. One is: I always have to ask the question in these situations—Is it the kids who are having the problem, or is it the parents who are having a problem?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And I don't know the answer in this situation, but oftentimes our kids play a lot rougher than we feel comfortable with—but they're all actually having a good time. Yeah. I mean, the way that you said that kid reported didn't sound like it was a problem. I could be wrong and it could be a problem, but I think it's worth asking: whether or not it's a problem—Is that mom worried, or is the kid not having fun?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: So just to keep that in mind. Because there's often a par between what we are feeling comfortable with and the way our kids are going at each other. Right. And I think in that situation, we do want to stay close if we're not sure. And just ask—like, if you notice that energy going up—just say, “Hey, are you all having fun?” If everyone says yes—okay. If one person says no, then we know we need to intervene. Okay. So that's one piece.And then I think it's about body awareness for him. Mm-hmm. And maybe one thing that you could do at home would be some practice—sort of—physical wrestling matches or something of the sort, where you could just pretend like you're in a ring—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: —with a timer, and do, like, 15-second, 30-second sessions—or whatever you call it. I'm not a boxing person or whatever, but I don't—Sarah: Rounds.Tosha: Rounds. Maybe it's rounds, right? Yeah. So where somebody's actually the ref and saying, “Okay, go at it,” and then when the whistle blows—when the ref blows the whistle—everyone has to run back to their corners. And so we're increasing the awareness of stop-start, stop-start.And then also I think it's oftentimes a good idea to have kind of a—what do you call it—an emergency word, secret word, whatever it's called—Sarah: Oh yeah.Tosha: —the word—Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: What's the word? Safe word. Safe word.Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: Yeah. Safe word. And so you all could figure that out at the beginning of this game. And, in fact, that's something that he could transfer over to his play with his friends. Like, “Yeah, once he learns—he's like, ‘I know I'm big; I'm just having a good time. I know I don't want to hurt you, but if things are getting too rough, say banana and I'll know I gotta pull back.'”Yeah. But “banana” is going to work a lot better than, “Hey, stop doing that,” or a parent coming in and saying, “Hey, be careful, you need to be careful, you're a lot bigger than him, you need to pull back.” That's not going to work as well. But you have to practice those things at home. So—come at it from two different angles.Member B: Yeah. I like how that is—he and his sister have a thing where if they're being too much, they yell “T.” Yeah. Okay. And so if they're like “T, T,” then they know like, oh, that's a timeout—like, I need to pause for a second.Sarah: Perfect.Member B: So yeah, maybe just—yeah—telling him, like, set it up with your friends so they can say it.Tosha: Yeah. If he already has that skill with his sister, that's amazing. Mm-hmm. And then, yeah—could we just transfer it over to a friend?Member B: Yeah, and I agree—it could be a little more parent than kid, because the kid's inviting Calvin over all the time and wants him to come back. So I'm like, I think they're having fun. You know, and it just may be the parent's perception of—or protection of—her child.Tosha: Right. And I think it's—I think it's fair to just ask.Member B: Mm-hmm.Tosha: You know, ask the child. I mean, you can ask the child if the child's at your house. Yeah. You can just say, like, “Hey, you know, if you guys need me, I'm in the other room,” or whatever. Like, you don't have to— I just—I don't like to assume that there's a problem.Member B: Mm-hmm. Yeah, because he's—he—it's very sweet. I just think he—he just plays rough sometimes and—Tosha: Yeah. Well, some kids like to play rough. And the other thing is, if we interrupt too much, we're interrupting the development of important emotional intelligence. Because one of the ways that kids learn—or build—emotional intelligence is through playing with one another. Right? If they play too rough, they're going to lose their playmate. Right. If they don't play rough enough, they're also going to lose their playmate. Right. This kid might like to play rough. I mean, this little kid might like to play rough—mm-hmm—because he doesn't have that opportunity with other kids. And, like, it's an opportunity to sort of be bigger and use strength and feel—I mean, I don't know.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: But there's something about the dance that they do when they play. I remember reading research about this in the animal kingdom. It was like a—it was a—I forget what his name was. This was like a million years ago at a conference when I was—back when I was a linguist—who was talking about this. And it was super, super interesting. I thought, “Wow, okay.” And so I think we need to let our kids also do that dance and just be present—so if there is a problem, we can step in—let them know that we're there. But don't assume there's a problem when nobody's complaining.Member B: Right. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, Lindsay. That's helpful.Sarah: So I'm conscious that we only have about, uh, eight minutes left with you. And I don't think anyone else on the call has a question, so I will go to a question that was sent in. And actually two questions that were sent in, and I'm not sure how different they are, so I'm going to tell you both of them.Okay. And if you can answer them both together, or if you think they're separate—if that works. Okay. So one of them is a person, a member who has a child—a girl—who is just about to turn eight. And when she gets upset, she hits and throws things at her mom. And they haven't been able to—and she's been following peaceful parenting—but still hasn't been able to curb this. She doesn't have any issues anywhere else, except for—Tosha: Okay.Sarah: —her mom. The second person has a 12-year-old daughter that is hitting, kicking, pinching, saying mean words, etc., to her younger siblings when they're not doing what she wants them to do. She's the oldest of five; has younger siblings who are 10, 8, 4, and 2. And she didn't mention this, but I know she also—when she gets upset—she will do that to her mom too.Tosha: Yeah. Yeah. So for me, these are really both limit-setting issues, right? Like I've said earlier, we have to come at aggression from all the different angles, right? So we talked—we started out at the beginning with the first question about, like, hey, let's—we gotta focus in on our own healing and our own triggers, and make sure that we're not sort of trying to skate over that and pretend that we're gonna be able to be better without addressing anything.We also have to focus on connection. Like—somebody said they're tracking. Yeah, we need to pay attention—like, when does this stuff happen? We need to pour in connection, like we talked about. Make a list of all the things that are yummy when you do them together—just do more, do more, do more. Use play in the ways that we've talked about.But limits aren't necessarily the place to start—but if there are safety issues, then we have to go right there. So if the problem—well, there are lots of problems—but one thing that I've seen is that if we let a child, quote-unquote, succeed—or if a child succeeds in hurting us—let's just say throwing—like, let's say we get a stapler thrown at us and we end up with a black eye, or a cut on our face, or whatever it is—that child feels more fear than they felt before. Because there's a huge amount of fear associated with having that much power when you're so small, and feeling like the adults in your life can't keep everybody safe.Right? Because our number one job, in my opinion, is to keep everybody safe and alive. Let's just start there. Mm-hmm. So this is just basic. So that means that in a situation like this, you're gonna want to pay attention. You're gonna really want to track when this happens. It's good—it only happens with you, I think. That's telling in the sense that she feels safe enough with you to be able to show you that she's kind of holding things together out in the world, but actually feeling yucky inside, and these feelings need to come out somehow.And the next step is you figuring out: well, how do I want to show her that, yes, I can keep her safe? And that is likely gonna look like you physically anticipating—for her throwing something—or you see that she reaches for the stapler, and you're gonna rush in and you're gonna put your hand on her hand on that stapler: “I don't want that stapler to get thrown.”And I'm not gonna lie—it's gonna look messy, and it's gonna be a struggle, and all of the things. That's fine—as long as you're calm. If you feel triggered by the throwing, and you don't feel like you can stay calm, and you can feel like—to talk about, you know, the sweet child underneath the yucky feeling. So let's—got the throwing or the hitting or the cussing out or the whatever up here, and there's just always this sweet child underneath.If you lose sight of that child, then in a situation like this, I would rather you walked out of the room and the—you know—the stapler hit the door. You know, it breaks the window or it dents the door or whatever it is. I don't want that to happen, but I would rather that happen than it hit you and then you hit her, or you held her harder than you want, or you screamed horrible things at her that you wished afterwards you could take back.Right. And I say these things not because I think you're doing this, but just because in my 20 years of working in this world and raising three kids—I know what those feelings feel like, and they're real, and they happen to all of us. So if you feel out of control, remove yourself.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: Even at the cost of the window. But—which is why we have to start with our own—getting ourselves in what I call “good enough emotional shape.” Because ultimately, you need to be able to move in, put your hand on that hand with the stapler, and just say something like, “I can't—I can't let you throw that, sweet girl. I can't let you throw that.” And that's it.And then she's gonna have a huge upset. She's gonna fight, and she's gonna try and—“Let go of me,” and “I can't breathe,” and whatever. And unless she breathes through her hand—like, she's breathing okay, right? But that upset, again, is the gold nugget. Like—then you welcome the feelings and you allow them to pour out. Because something happened. Something is going on. And it might not be that one thing happened during that day at school, or wherever, but it might be that there was a little nick and a little nick and a little nick. And every time—whatever—she didn't get what she wanted, or a sibling got something and she didn't, or you answered a sibling before you answered her, or whatever it is—they're just all little things.They happen. They're not your fault or anybody's fault. It's just that if, every time they happen, she doesn't release the yucky feelings that arise in her as a result, then what's happening is they're building up. And so I like to think of it as the sand—or the sedimentary rock—on the beach. You can see those striations in it, right? So it's like—sand is really soft; you can kind of brush it off, but when it sits and it hardens, then you have to take, like, a chisel to it.Sarah: Yeah. For our people, we call that “getting a full emotional backpack,” when you're talking about the nicks that build up over time. So that'll resonate for people.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly.Sarah: Thank you so much, Tosha.Tosha: Yeah.Sarah: I hope—that was—Tosha: Helpful. But you have to physically get in there.Sarah: Yeah, physically get in there. And if it happens too fast to catch the first one, you just kind of do your best and try for the second one.Tosha: Yes.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yes. And then you expect the upset, and you stay with it if you can.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Remembering that that's just a scared little girl in there.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Right. You don't know what this is about. Just trust that her body knows that it needs to do this healing, and she's picked you because she knows you can handle it—that you won't lose sight of her goodness, that your love is strong. And that's an honor. I know it feels hard, but it's actually a real honor when we're the one who gets chosen for that emotional work.Sarah: I love that, and I want to highlight that a lot of what you talked about today was our own inner work on keeping ourselves calm and keeping our mindset of keeping track of that sweet child—as you say, the sweet child inside that's just afraid and needs us in those moments. 'Cause it can feel—I think a lot of parents can feel—like, quote, victimized, and that's probably going to get them deeper into the aggression than get them out of it.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly. And so we want to feel—I hope that after this call you feel empowered. I mean, I hope there's just one thing that you can take away and experiment with doing differently. Just think of these things as experiments. You don't have to get it perfect—right? Whatever the word is that you have in your head. Right. Just try something.Sarah: Just—Tosha: Pick one idea that you heard and try it. Try it for a day. See how it goes. And remember that if it leads to big upset on the part of your child, that doesn't mean you did it wrong. It probably means you're actually doing something right.Sarah: That's so key. I love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. We really appreciate you and your work, and everyone, be sure to let us know how it goes for you when you try some of these things. Let us know in the Facebook group. And thank you, Tosha—thanks for getting up early and meeting with us today.Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you for inviting me back, Sarah.Sarah: Thanks, everyone. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

The trolling online has reached new lows, and some of these people have just completely lost touch with reality!! Also, everyone told Abbie she was overreacting about Trump's re-election, and now he's threatening to invoke the insurrection act... LINKS This American Life ep that Abbie referenced: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/868/the-hand-that-rocks-the-gavel Check out @itsalotpod on IG at https://bit.ly/itsalot-instagram Review the podcast on Apple Podcasts https://bit.ly/ial-review Follow LiSTNR Entertainment on IG @listnrentertainment Follow LiSTNR Entertainment on TikTok @listnrentertainment Get instructions on how to access transcripts on Apple podcasts https://bit.ly/3VQbKXY CREDITS Host: Abbie Chatfield @abbiechatfield Executive Producer and Editor: Amy Kimball @amy.kimballDigital and Social and Video Producer: Oscar Gordon @oscargordon Social and Video Producer: Justin Hill @jus_hillIt's A Lot Social Media Manager: Julia ToomeyManaging Producer: Sam Cavanagh Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Send us a textThe sky went dark at midday, the temperature dipped, and a continent held its breath. We chased the total solar eclipse to Texas and came back with more than a memory—fresh science on how birds react when day vanishes and returns a few minutes later. Leveraging a blend of community observations, autonomous recorders, and BirdNET machine learning, researchers tracked behavior from Mexico to Canada and found a clear pattern: movement slowed during totality while vocalizations spiked, followed by a pseudo-dawn burst when the light returned. Some species, like American Robins and Barred Owls, showed dramatic shifts; others didn't budge, pointing to species-specific sensitivity to light.That sudden flip from light to dark is more than a spectacle—it's a powerful biological cue. We connect the dots to artificial light at night, from migration disruptions to window strikes, and explore how city lighting policies and dark-sky practices can protect wildlife without sacrificing safety. When the whole sky changes at once, you see how deeply behavior is tuned to brightness. It's a rare, elegant experiment you can't reproduce in a lab, and it gives us practical guidance for urban design and conservation.Back on the home front, we turn to a concern every family with pets and kids faces: children often misread dog body language. New data show that four- to seven-year-olds frequently mistake angry dog faces for happy ones, with high error rates even at seven. Most bites happen at home, during child-initiated contact, and without supervision. We share simple, actionable steps—teach a few key cues, keep greetings calm, supervise play, and give dogs guaranteed safe spaces—to preserve the empathy and comfort dogs bring while lowering risk.If you love science, animals, and practical insights that make life better, this one's for you. Our links!Support the showFor Science, Empathy, and Cuteness!Being Kind is a Superpower. All our social links are here!

Is Human Design a shortcut to finding your purpose and becoming your authentic self? Josh Trent welcomes Emma Dunwoody, Human Design Expert, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 776, to reveal how Human Design helps you break free from conditioning, trust your intuition, reconnect with the subtle energy guiding your purpose, and empower you to live in full alignment with who God designed you to be. Join The Decode Your Design Masterclass You don't need another strategy or another plan: you need the truth, a breakthrough, a moment where it all clicks, and you finally understand why success has felt so hard. And that breakthrough you've been looking for? It's not outside of you. It's in your Human Design. This masterclass will shift you from burnout to alignment, from doubt to deep self-trust, and from strategy addiction to inner authority, in under 90 minutes. Because when you stop fighting against who you are and start working with your design, everything changes. Join Emma's Masterclass Today + Get 20% off with Code "JOSH20" In This Episode, Emma Dunwoody Uncovers: [01:10] Use Human Design to Become More Authentic Why Human Design serves as a permission slip to be ourselves. How Human Design bypasses the mind that tells us who we think we are. The role of neutrinos in imprinting ourselves in the moment. Why Emma used to be skeptical of Human Design. How Human Design was invented. Resources: Emma Dunwoody Human Design Made Simple by Emma Dunwoody Decode Your Design Masterclass - 20% off with Code "JOSH20" [07:50] How to Integrate What You've Learned Why transformation is not easy. How Emma's healing her childhood trauma with the help of Human Design. Why we need to integrate the information we learn about ourselves in order to transform our lives. [12:35] How to Find Your Purpose How a chart has more than 2 billion expressions. Why we don't have to change anything based on our chart reading. How Emma's son's energy helped her improve her mental health. Why our purpose is to be ourselves. [17:20] Human Design + Plant Medicine How Josh and Emma's Human Design revealed their design is to go through difficult challenges. Why manifesting generators can be seen as too much by others. What is a personal Human Design profile. The gift of gate 64. [26:10] What's Blocking Your Transformation Why only our ego can stop our transformation. How Human Design and Gene Keys show us our shadows. Why Emma never wanted to stick to one career path. How we can turn our shadows into indicators. [30:20] Learn to Listen to The Subtle Energies Why we're meant to become our own guide. How it's become very difficult to differentiate between right and wrong. Why some people are not designed to make quick decisions. How we're disconnected from the subtle energies and signals of our bodies. Why Emma can't use muscle testing on herself. [37:20] How to Trust Yourself Why we need to rise above the male and female archetypes. How Human Design taught Emma to trust herself. Why she didn't realize she was talking to God until she was in her 30s. How she struggled to find one thing to focus on. [41:40] The 5 Human Design Archetypes How we only need to understand the surface information about ourselves. Why manifestors are not designed to finish what they've started. How generators are here to build a new world. The role of manifesting generators. Why projectors are the guides that make others better. How only 1% of the population is reflectors. [49:30] The Purpose of Human Design Where the Human Design truly came from. How we're entering the gate of intimacy and abundance. Why the purpose and meaning of intimacy have been changing. How Human Design can help us evolve. [53:20] Heal Your Trauma with Human Design The issue with genetic determinism. How each Gene Key is associated with a part of the body, which is translated as "gates" in Human Design. What it was like for Emma to grow up with parents who were alcoholic and anorectic. How Human Design can help us start healing our trauma. The difference between Gene Keys and Human Design gates. Why Emma used to live in the masculine role. [01:01:50] Human Design Helps Raise Empowered Children The importance of raising our children according to their Human Design. How we're conditioned and taught to change ourselves. Why we're too attached to right and wrong. [01:07:00] Evolution of Humanity Why Emma's mission is to make Human Design mainstream. How we're moving from thinking doers to feeling be-ers. Why getting into our body is the most important thing we can do right now. How indigenous Australians pass down their knowledge through stories. What Emma does to empower her son. [01:13:50] Alignment Creates Flow Why projectors can have a bad reputation. How successful people are in alignment with who they truly are. What helped Emma to finish writing her book. How the process of writing and publishing her book was in alignment with her design. Leave Wellness + Wisdom a Review on Apple Podcasts All Resources From This Episode Emma Dunwoody Human Design Made Simple by Emma Dunwoody Decode Your Design Masterclass - 20% off with Code "JOSH20" Power Quotes From Emma Dunwoody "Human design bypasses the mind. It goes straight to the energetic blueprint that's coded in your DNA. This energetic blueprint happened at your birth, as subatomic particles moved through your body and imprinted your DNA. It's the map that's going to lead you back to the most authentic version of you." — Emma Dunwoody "We think we know who we're meant to be and what we're meant to do and we really don't. We can't see that big picture. When you start living more in alignment with your Human Design, you learn to tap into the body, and you're constantly told in every moment what is right for you and what isn't." — Emma Dunwoody "Our purpose is bigger than the job that we do. Our purpose is our energy. Our greatest purpose is just to be our most authentic self, because then we are fulfilling the puzzle piece we need to fulfill to move to this new world." — Emma Dunwoody